Anybody have an good "yo momma" jokes?
828399
yo momma underware is soo holy when she farts it whistles \n\nyo momma is like a buss shes big,she smells bad and is only 1 minute to ride\n\ni think those are pretty good
696309
"damn, sh*t, respect my f*cking authoritah!"\n\n"dog sh*t taco!"\n\n"blood drenched frozen tampon popsicle!"\n\n"f*cl! sh*t! c*ck! azz! t*tties! b*ner! b*tch! m*ff! p*ssy! c*ck! butthole!  barbra streisand!!!!"
375363
Yo mama is so fat\nYo mama so fat when her beeper goes off, people thought she was backing up\n\nYo mama so fat her nickname is "Lardo"\n\nYo mama so fat she eats Wheat Thicks.\n\nYo mama so fat were in her right now\n\nYo mama so fat people jog around her for exercise\n\nYo mama so fat she went to the movies and sat next to everyone\n\nYo mama so fat she has been declared a natural habitat for Condors\n\nYo mamma so fat you haveta roll over twice to get off her...\n\nYo mama so fat she was floating in the ocean and spain claimed her for then new world\n\nYo mama so fat she lay on the beach and people run around yelling Free Willy\n\nYo mama so fat when you get on top of her your ears pop!\n\nYo mama so fat when she has wants someone to shake her hand, she has to give directions!\n\nYo mama so fat she goes to a resturant, looks at the menu and says "okay!"\n\nYo mama so fat when she wears a yellow raincoat, people said "Taxi!"\n\nYo mama so fat she had to go to Sea World to get baptized\n\nYo mama so fat she got to iron her pants on the driveway\n\nYo mama so fat she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller\n\nYo mama so fat she got to pull down her pants to get into her pockets\n\nYo mama so fat when she tripped over on 4th Ave, she landed on 12th\n\nYo mama so fat when she bungee jumps, she brings down the bridge too\n\nYo mama so fat the highway patrol made her wear "Caution! Wide Turn"\n\nYo mama so fat when she sits around the house, she SITS AROUND THE HOUSE!\n\nYo mama so fat when she steps on a scale, it read "one at a time, please"\n\nYo mama so fat when she sits on my face I can't hear the stereo.\n\nYo mama so fat she fell in love and broke it.\n\nYo mama so fat when she gets on the scale it says to be continued.\n\nYo mama so fat when she gets on the scale it says we don't do livestock.\n\nYo mama so fat her neck looks like a pair of hot dogs!\n\nYo mama so fat she's got her own area code!\n\nYo mama so fat she looks like she's smuggling a Volkswagon!\n\nYo mama so fat God couldn't light Earth until she moved!\n\nYo mama so fat NASA has to orbit a satellite around her!\n\nYo mama so fat whenever she goes to the beach the tide comes in!\n\nYo mama so fat when she plays hopscotch, she goes New York, L.A., Chicago...\n\nYo mama so fat she's got Amtrak written on her leg.\n\nYo mama so fat even Bill Gates couldn't pay for her liposuction!\n\nYo mama so fat her legs is like spoiled milk - white & chunky!\n\nYo mama so fat I had to take a train and two buses just to get on the her good side!\n\nYo mama so fat she wakes up in sections!\n\nYo mama so fat when she goes to an amusement park, people try to ride HER!\n\nYo mama so fat she sat on a quarter and a booger shot out of george washington's nose.\n\nYo mama so fat she rolled over 4 quarters and it made a dollar!\n\nYo mama so fat when she lies on the beach no one else gets sun!\n\nYo mama so fat when she bunje jumps she goes straight to hell!\n\nYo mama so fat when she jumps up in the air she gets stuck!!!\n\nYo mama so fat she's got more Chins than a Hong Kong phone book!\n\nYo mama so fat that her senior pictures had to be arial views!\n\nYo mama so fat she's on both sides of the family!\n\nYo mama so fat everytime she walks in high heels, she strikes oil!\n\nYo mama so fat she fell and made the Grand Canyon!\n\nYo mama so fat she sat on the beach and Greenpeace threw her in!\n\nYo mama so fat even her clothes have stretch marks!\n\nYo mama so fat she has a wooden leg with a kickstand!\n\nYo mama so fat she has to use a VCR as a beeper!\n\nYo mama so fat she broke her leg, and gravy poured out!\n\nYo mama so fat when she rides in a hot air balloon, it looks like she's wearin tights!\n\nYo mama so fat she got hit by a parked car! \n\nYo mama so fat they have to grease the bath tub to get her out!\n\nYo mama so fat she has a run in her blue-jeans!\n\nYo mama so fat when she ge
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i would say nuthing because it's just like a joke.\n\nyo mama is so fat when she goes on the weigh it said to be continued.\n\n\nYo Mama So Ugly...\n\nshe put the Boogie man outta business.\n\nshe make Michael Jackson look like Brad Pitt\n\nwhen she wobbles down the street in September, folk say, "Damn it, can't believe it's Halloween already..."\n\nwhen she applied for the ugly contest they told her 'NO Professionals'\n\nshe looked out her window and was arrested for indecent exposure!\n\nminutes after she was born her Mother shouted 'What a treasure!" and her Poppa said, "Yes, now let's go and bury her..."\n\nthey push her face into the dough mixture when making Monster cookies.\n\nwhen they took her to the Beautician it took 10 hours....and that was just for the quote!\n\nyer Daddy takes her to work each day so he doesny have to kiss her goodbye...\n\nshe put Marilyn Manson out of business.\n\nshe was a guard at Snake Mountain\n\nthey knew what time she was born cuz her face stopped the clock...\n\neven Harry Knowles refused to date her.\n\nthey embalmed her face on a box of super-strength laxatives and sold it empty!\n\nshe gets 364 extra days just to dress up for Halloween.\n\nTony Blair moved Halloween to her birthday.\n\nyou papa throws the ugly stick and she goes fetches it every time.\n\nshe scared the stitching outta Frankenstein.\n\nwe had to tie a steak round her neck so the dogs would play with her.\n\nI heard yer Father first met her at the Zoo.\n\nher shadow gave up.\n\npeople at the Zoo pay cash so they DON't have to see her...\n\nher mom had to be Pissed drunk just to breast feed her.\n\nwhen born, the doctors had to fit her incubator with tinted windows.\n\nhotel managers use her picture to keep away the Rats.\n\ninstead of round the ankles, they put the Bungee Jumping cord round her neck.\n\nthey gave her a middle name...'accident'.\n\nshe fell out of the Ugly Tree, hitting every branch on the way down.\n\nwhen she walked into the Haunted House, she came back out with a Job Application!\n\neven Slicky Willy Clinton refused to sleep with her...\n\nwhen she was born the Doc smacked her face.\n\nYou mama so Ugly that she's got her very own Crazy Pranks & Hilarious Gags named after her...
680457
Yo mama is so poor, I saw her kicking a can down the street... asked her what she was doin?\nand she replied: "moving!!!"
175082
TRY THESE..........\n\n1\n\nFresh from her shower, a woman stands in front of the mirror complaining to her husband that her breasts are too small.\n\nInstead of characteristically telling her it's not so, the husband uncharacteristically comes up with a suggestion. "If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet paper and rub it between your breasts for a few seconds."\n\nWilling to try anything, the wife fetches a piece of toilet paper and stands in front of the mirror, rubbing it between her breasts.\n\n"How long will this take?" she asks.\n\n"They'll grow larger over a period of years," he replies.\n\nThe wife stops. "Why do you think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between my breasts everyday will make my breasts grow over the years?"\n\n"Worked for your butt, didn't it?"\n\nHe lived. And with a great deal of therapy, may even walk again..\n\n\n2\n\nMan driving down road.\nWoman driving up same road\nThey pass each other\nWoman yells out her window, "PIG!"\nMan yells out his window, "B.I.T.C.H!"\nMan rounds next curve\nCrashes into a huge pig in middle of road.\n\nThought For The Day : If only men would listen. \n\n\n3\n\nThe mother-in-law stopped unexpectedly by the recently married couple's \nhouse. She rang the doorbell and stepped into the house. She saw her \ndaughter-in-law standing naked by the door.\n\n"What are you doing?" she asked.\n\n"I'm waiting for my husband to come home from work," the \ndaughter-in-law \nanswered.\n\n"But you're naked!" the mother-in-law exclaimed.\n\n"This is my love dress," the daughter-in-law explained.\n\n"Love dress? But you're naked!"\n\n"My husband loves me to wear this dress! It makes him happy and it \nmakes me \nhappy. I would appreciate it if you would leave because he will be home \nfrom \nwork any minute."\n\nThe mother-in-law was tired of all this romantic talk and left. On the \nway \nhome she thought about the love dress. When she got home she undressed, \nshowered, put on her best perfume and waited by the front door. Finally \nher \nhusband came home. He walked in and saw her standing naked by the door.\n\n"What are you doing?" he asked.\n\n"This is my love dress" she replied.\n\n"Needs ironing." he said.\n\nHEHE>>HAVE FUN 2 YA GUYZ READING
1100950
fat momma jokes always go over well, except when it's yo momma. just work on your delivery.
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Yo Mamma's so fat when I have sex with her I have to slap her ass and ride the wave in.\nYo Mamma's so fat when she put high heels she struct oil!\nYo mama so fat when her beeper goes off, people thought she was backing up \nYo mama so fat she eats Wheat Thicks. \nYo mama so fat people jog around her for exercise \nYo mama so fat she went to the movies and sat next to everyone \nYo mama so fat she has been declared a natural habitat for Condors \nYo mamma so fat you have to roll over twice to get off her... \nYo mama so fat she was floating in the ocean and spain claimed her for then new world \nYo mama so fat she lay on the beach and people run around yelling Free Willy \nYo mama so fat when she has wants someone to shake her hand, she has to give directions! \nYo mama so fat she goes to a resturant, looks at the menu and says "okay!" \nYo mama so fat when she wears a yellow raincoat, people said "Taxi!" \nYo mama so fat she had to go to Sea World to get baptized \nYo mama so fat she got to iron her pants on the driveway \nYo mama so fat she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller \nYo mama so fat she got to pull down her pants to get into her pockets \nYo mama so fat when she tripped over on 4th Ave, she landed on 12th \nYo mama so fat the highway patrol made her wear "Caution! Wide Turn" \nYo mama so fat when she sits around the house, she SITS AROUND THE HOUSE! \nYo mama so fat when she steps on a scale, it read "one at a time, please" \nYo mama so fat she fell in love and broke it. \nYo mama so fat when she gets on the scale it says to be continued. \nYo mama so fat when she gets on the scale it says we don't do livestock. \nYo mama so fat she's got her own area code! \nYo mama so fat God couldn't light Earth until she moved! \nYo mama so fat whenever she goes to the beach the tide comes in! \nYo mama so fat when she plays hopscotch, she goes New York, L.A., Chicago... \nYo mama so fat she's got Amtrak written on her leg. \nYo mama so fat her legs is like spoiled milk - white & chunky!
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Yo mama...\nso stupid, she tried to put skittles and m&m's in alphabetical order and failed\n\nso fat, when she walked in front of the tv, we missed 3 episodes of sesame street\n\nso stupid when she saw the NC-17 (under 17 not admitted) sign, she went home and got 16 friends\n\nso stupid she hears it's chilly outside so she gets a bowl\n\nso stupid she got locked in a grocery store and starved!\n\nso stupid she sold her car for gasoline money!\n\nso stupid she could trip over a cordless phone!\n\nso stupid she stepped on a crack and broke her own back.\n\nso stupid that under "Education" on her job apllication, she put "Hooked on Phonics."\n\nso fat she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller\n\nso fat the highway patrol made her wear "Caution! Wide Turn"\n\nso fat when she gets on the scale it says to be continued.\n\nso fat even Bill Gates couldn't pay for her liposuction!\n\nso fat I tried to drive around her and I ran out of gas.\n\nso fat that when whe was born, she gave the hospital stretch marks.\n\nso poor when I ring the doorbell she says,"DING!"\n\nAnd my personal favorite:\nYo mama so poor when she goes to KFC, she has to lick other people's fingers!
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YO MOMMA SO FAT HER BLOOD TYPE IS RAGU \nYo momma so fat, when she turns around, people give her a welcome back party! \n\nYo momma so fat she saw a yellow bus full of white kids and said, "STOP THAT TWINKIE!! " \n\nYo momma so fat, when she runs she makes the cd played skip, at the radio station!!! \n\nYo momma so fat, when she went out side in a red dress, everyone yelled, "HEY, KOOL-AID!" \n\nYo momma fat she jumped up in the air and got stuck. \n\nYo momma is so fat her waist size is equator! \n\nYo momma so fat she went bungee jumping and went strait to hell! \n\nYo momma so fat shes on both side of the family. \n\nYo momma so fat when she walks around in Texas in high heels, she strikes oil! \n\nYo momma so fat, the last time she saw 90210 was on the scale! \n\nYo momma so fat that when God said, "Let there be light," he told her to move her fat ole ass over! \n\nYo momma so fat she fell in love and broke it. \n\nYo momma so fat when her beeper goes off, people thought she was backing up. \n\nYo momma so fat even Bill Gates couldn't pay for her liposuction! \n\nYo momma so fat she wakes up in sections! \n\nYo momma so fat when she goes to an amusement park, people try to ride HER! \n\nYo momma so fat when she lies on the beach no one else gets sun! \n\nYo momma so fat she's got more chins than a Hong Kong phone book! \n\nYo momma so fat she has a wooden leg with a kickstand! \n\nYo momma so fat when she gets on the scale it says, "To be continued." \n\nYo momma so fat her nickname is, "DAY-UM!" \n\nYo momma so fat she eats Wheat Thicks. \n\nYo momma so fat we're in her right now. \n\nYo momma so fat people jog around her for exercise. \n\nYo momma so fat, she went to the movies and sat next to everyone. \n\nYo momma so fat she has been declared a natural habitat for Condors. \n\nYo mamma so fat, you have to roll over twice to get off her... \n\nYo momma so fat she was floating in the ocean and Spain claimed her for the new world. \n\nYo momma so fat she lay on the beach and people run around yelling, "Free Willy!" \n\nYo momma so fat when you get on top of her your ears pop! \n\nYo momma so fat when she has sex, she has to give directions! \n\nYo momma so fat, she goes to a resturant, looks at the menu and says, "Okay!" \n\nYo momma so fat when she wears a yellow raincoat, people say, "Taxi!" \n\nYo momma so fat she had to go to Sea World to get baptized. \n\nYo momma so fat, she got to iron her pants on the driveway. \n\nYo momma so fat I've known her all my life ... and I still haven't seen ALL of her! \n\nYo momma so fat she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller. \n\nYo momma so fat she got to pull down her pants to get into her pockets. \n\nYo momma so fat when she tripped over on 4th Ave, she landed on 12th. \n\nYo momma so fat when she bungee jumps, she brings down the bridge too. \n\nYo momma so fat the highway patrol made her wear, "Caution! Wide Turn." \n\nYo momma so fat when she sits around the house, she SITS AROUND THE HOUSE! \n\nYo momma so fat when she steps on a scale, it read, "One at a time, please." \n\nYo momma so fat when she sits on my face I can't hear the stereo. \n\nYo momma so fat her neck looks like a pair of hot dogs! \n\nYo momma so fat she's got her own area code! \n\nYo momma so fat she looks like she's smuggling a Volkswagen! \n\nYo momma so fat God couldn't light Earth till she moved! \n\nYo momma so fat NASA has to orbit a satellite around her! \n\nYo momma so fat, whenever she goes to the beach the tide comes in! \n\nYo momma so fat when she plays hopscotch, she goes New York, L.A., Chicago... \n\nYo momma so fat she's got Amtrak written on her leg. \n\nYo momma so fat , her legs are like spoiled milk - white & chunky! \n\nYo momma so fat I had to take a train and two buses just to get on the bitch's good side! \n\nYo momma so fat she sat on a
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yo mama so fat she sat on a rainbow and skittles popped out\nyo mama so stupid she got hit by a parked car\nyo mama so short her feet swing when she sits on the curb\nyo mama hair so short when she gets braids it looks like stitches\n\ni could go on, but i'll stop now:-)
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Yo momma is so stupid, the bitch went to the movies and saw under 17 not admitted so she went home and got 16 of her friends.\n\nYo momma is so dumb, she took the Pepsi challenge and chose Jiff.\n\nYo momma is so fat, her blood type is Rocky Road.\n\nYo momma is so fat, I swerved to miss her and I ran out of gas.\n\nYo momma is so dumb, the bitch bought a glass door with a peep hole.\n\nYo momma is so ugly, they had to tie pork chops around her neck when she was little so that way the dog could play with her.\n\nYo momma is so dumb, she was fired from the M&M factory for throwing out the W's.\n\nYo momma is so fat, that she doesn't have lint in her belly button, she has sweaters.\n\nYo momma is so fat that when she goes to the zoo, elephants throw peanuts at her.\n\nYo momma is so ugly, that when she walks into a room, mice jump on chairs.\n\nYo momma is so dumb, that she got fired from a blowjob.\n\nYo momma is so dumb, she stayed up all night studying for a urine test.\n\nYo momma is so fat, that when I have sex with her, I have to slap her on the knee and ride the wave in.\n\nYo momm is so nasty, she was fired from her job at the sperm bank for drinkin on the job.\n\nHope these are what you are looking for.  Good Luck.
193008
Yo momma's so fat that she sat on a rainbow and skittles popped out.\n\nYo momma's so short, she jumped off a curb and committed suicide.\n\nYo momma's so stupid she got hit by a parked car.
543197
Thats a good one!!! A cute clean joke!!!! Keep em coming!!!
167475
Yo mama so stupid when your dad said it was chilly outside, she ran outside with a spoon\nYo mama so ugly they push her face into dough to make gorilla cookies.\nYo mama so fat when she sits around the house, she SITS AROUND THE HOUSE!\nJust a few :)
221179
Yo mama so stupid that she puts lipstick on her head just to make-up her mind.\n\nYo mama so stupid she hears it's chilly outside so she gets a bowl.\n\nYo mama so stupid that she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order!\n\nYo mama so stupid she bought a solar-powered flashlight!\n\nYo mama so stupid she thinks a quarterback is a refund!\n\nYo mama so stupid when she read on her job application to not write below the dotted line she put "O.K."\n\nYo mama so stupid she thinks Fleetwood Mac is a new hamburger at McDonalds!\n\nYo mama so stupid when the computer said "press any key to continue" she couldn't find the any key. \n \nYo mama so stupid she got a doughnut and returned it cause it had a hole in it.
522133
No one can top your yo momma jokes. Good one. Thanks and keep posting more.