Help!!My friend wants to leave her husband and runaway with her daughter?!?!?!?
817057
What the people aren't considering is the muslim faith here and their perspective on marriage and divorce.  I googled it and the family is the foundation of everything.Depending on where she is from and whatthe beliefs are, that is where her fear is coming from.  I would suggest that she get legal counsel from a muslim.\nHave her talk to someone who knows because although it isn't easy, it cn be done. The family would probably feel shame but, that may besomething she has to deal with.
622096
Tell her she's going down a path as a friend you can't follow.  She needs to stop, you know the reasons why, and when she refuses, and she will.  Find another friends before she drags you into trouble too.
484951
Tell her , that you want to learn the hard way if she thinks he is so terrible! That she should leave you , and if you bump your head , you know not to do it again in another situation!
799513
When she's 18, kick her out.  You're feeding her, clothing her, supporting her, she eats from your table and sleeps in a bed you bought.  And she says F you?\n\nThere is no justification.  No one, not your wife, not your daughter, no one has the right to degrade you like that.  Tell your daughter, and kick her out at 18.  \n\nShe wants to be an adult?  Time to live it.\n\nBut you need to take some responsibility too.  She didn't just start acting this way.  You fostered this.  You let her get away with crap when she was 12 because you didn't want to be the bad guy.  This is the result.  So kick her out, but let her know it was your bad.
201893
something might be going on between the two of them - but lets hope not. he may just be trying to get in good with her so that she will approve of him - since she's ur daughter - yet ur daughter is disrespectful of u and he plays along with that. yet i think family comes first so i think u need to put this relashonship/friendship with ur "make friend" on hold. and u need to work thru things with ur daughter. was she acting like this before he came along? or did she start first acting like this when he came into the picture? she may really need u but she see's u puting some guy before her. i have 2 kids and i learned that no one will love my kids as much as i do. my kids felt neglected cuz my male friend was getting all my time and all my love. i seen the sadness if their eyes and i knew i had to let him go for the sake of my kids. but my kids r young. ur daughter is at a grown age. she may just dislike this one guy in particular. she may want u to find someone better. getting him to copy her by disrespecting u may be her way of getting u to finally kick him to the curb. but if ur daughter has always been disrespectful - even b 4 this guy came along - then u may just have to look over her.
118522
The best thing your friend can do for both her and her kids is to LEAVE this jerk.  I am assuming that they are married,\nin which case she needs to go and file for divorce ASAP.  Most judges will award custody and other things asked for by the petioner (the person who files), unless it can be deemed that she is not fit.  If she cannot afford an attorney there should be legal aid to help her.  Also, there should be some sort of spouse abuse organization that she can go to and they can offer her help to get out of this relationship as well as support.  There doesn't have to be physical abuse for this organization to help--any kind of abuse that anybody suffers will qualify for help, it doesn't even have to be at the hands of a spouse.\n\nYour friend is going through a real hard time and it's going to be hard for a while.  Having support from people such as you will help her get through this.\n\nThe best thing she can do is when he's at work pack things up that she and the kids need and that mean the most to her and split AFTER she has filed for divorce/custody and BEFORE he is served the petition.  She will need a safe place for both her and her kids to go, and it would be helpful if it's someplace he wouldn't think about looking for them at.  Keep things on the down-low....only the key people need to know where they are at and other details.\nIf he fights things in court things could get ugly, and she will need even more support from people like you. You and other people who are close to the situation may even need to testify that you have witnessed this man's abuse.\n\nWith the support of friends like you, your friend will be able to leave the abuse and make a better life for her and her kids.
628703
I think that you and your husband should consider counseling.  He should not be allowed to put you down in public or in private, but if he is only offering constructive criticism then try to see it as just that.\n\nAs for taking your daughter away......I am a child of divorced parents.  It has caused me extreme psychological distress. I would not recommend divorce for anyone unless they are being beaten. Divorce is a common cause of post traumatic stress disorder. Regardless if you love him or not, you made a commitment when you got married and you should stick with your word.\n\nI am married, I know how difficult men can be. I also know how depressing it can be without a job. If you don't have a current job maybe you should take one just so that you can get out of the house and have some time to yourself and make some money besides.  Being stuck at home for long periods of time is no fun I know.\n\nI really hope that things turn out well for you and your daughter's sake. But really do some research on the trauma that a divorce (even the amicable ones) inflicts on a child before you decide what to do.
198804
I hope you took the time to warn her about how crazy people are out in the world.  There probably wasn't anything you could have said or done to her to keep her safe at home.  My daughter left when she was 15 and she didn't keep in contact with me except for a couple times a year.  She quit high school in her 2nd year and I couldn't force her to go.  \n\nI sincerely hope your daughter has good friends to help her out there.  If you know her friends that she is with or near, maybe you don't have to worry if they help take care of her.  It's the not knowing that really hurts.\n\nMaybe you could get her a cell phone and keep in contact with her that way.  God Bless you.....)(
26161
Have your friend make plans to go out and to tell the husband all about it; if he wants to come along, he will.  Otherwise, he can sit at home and wait for her while she goes on living her life.  I'm not saying for her to do anything wrong, just continue living and if he wants to be part of her life, he will come along with her.  That's how I did it!!!
195761
Suga, I know you are upset, but bringing your daughter into this is not very nice.  If you two split up or have a huge blow out, then she is going to think that she is the reason why Daddy and Mommy are upset.  Just calm down and sit down with your hubby, telling him calmly how you feel.  Maybe you can get something worked out.  Good Luck, and you're in my prayers
700056
she shouldn't have to choose between  parents it's not fair to her. She should have a talk with each parent and let them know how its affecting her. The parents are the ones that are getting a divorce not her. They will always be her parents no matter what. Of coarse both parents love her so they can value her input. They just need to listen to your friend. Good Luck!
920077
use a common friend to get to your ex-wife. i think it's very noble of you to try to work things out among yourselves. if your ex-wife still refuse to accept the fact that you're actually doing her a favor by resorting to peacefull means, then you have no choice but to do whatever would be necessary for the sake of your child. you need not feel guilty then if the court decides in your favor because you have tried your best to warn her.
1105734
your friend need a good solicitor...and someone to take his son for a long drive-away from his father-because if one of my kids ever put me thru this crap i would beat him...then it would be worth getting arrested for it!\nWhat is the so called mother playing at? Suddenly wanting the kids after not bothering for 6 years? Sounds like if your friend cant beat the lad, that maybe his ex wife should be in line!#\nI dont agree with hitting women or kids...but there a line that needs to be drawn and not to be crossed by the people that should show you some respect. good luck to him.
1082122
shes victimizing you... she shouldnt be putting you in the middle of her problems and that makes her a poor excuse for a friend... what im trying to say is, do you want to be the one who conspires and allows her to cheat on her husband or do god knows what? Think of the husbands feelings in this situation... While you dont want to be the cause of them splitting up you have to know that if you told you wouldnt and couldnt be held responsible, your friend decided to do this to her husband and she should have to face the reprocussions. Do you care about this girl enough to actually lie on her behalf over something that could split them apart? I think its the husbands right to know whats going on, in my case I think I would not tell the husband where she is but if you know his friends or family tip one of them off and possibly they will tell them... its complicated but you cant be incriminated because you didnt tell her husband where she was, you tipped someone off and they told, but i think its the right thing to do in letting the husband know in one form or another that his wife is lying to him and may be doing more... hes a human being and has feelings to, and she is digging her own grave... It was wrong of her to ask for you to lie about her because she is putting you in the middle of their problems and asking you to conceal the fact that she is destroying her marriage. If I was you I would tip someone off and then let them tell the husband,  either way theres nothing you can do to come out of the situation without getting hurt because if the husband figures out that you have been lying to him about something that is ruining his marriage then  hes going to hold you partially responsible... and think would you want to be in that sort of situation as well. would you want your husband to secretely be doing god knows what and you to be completely oblivious to it and how would you feel about it if he asked a friend to lie to you for him? you have to put yourself in the victims shoes, and honestly you both are the victim to her lying ways
881813
Sometimes, blood is NOT thicker than water. Your are his wife, and now become #1, in his life, along with children, if you have any.\nGoodness, what going on, it's a wonder that you both have not just said\n"enough is enough", and shut them out of you lives. Your husband is in agreement with you.\nWhy not discuss it with you husband, and tell him how you feel.\nYou do have to be rude to his mother, and stup to her level!\nSure, they keep ringing......They want you both to help them now.....\nWhat were they thinking before...that you both would just forget, and forgive?\nAsk you husband, if you can politely say.....Thank you for the birthday wishes,\nhowever, we have a life of our own now. I am sorry, but our hands are tied,\nand we cannot help you in any way....something like that.....\nLet your husband speak to them also.  No way, you both have made a life, without them,and put up with all the abusive language from them....\nTell them to move into the property that was put in the daughters name.\nDo not feel guilty!!!!  and do not change your lives, not with that kind of in-laws.\nGo girl, and your husband.....do not put up with it....you both only live once, and its Your Life and Your husbands!!!!
1058490
One word, co-dependency.\n\nYour friends daughter is probably in an abusive relationship.  He is displaying behaviors typical of an abuser.  He most likely will not do more than verbally abuse your friend, but he could very well harm her daughter.  She should speak with someone who is knowledgable with this type of problem before approaching him.  I would suggest a good family therapist.
1187801
This friend of yours is not a good person. She is definitely simply leeching out favours from others. Just leave her, don't talk to her. She'll definitely come back for more assurance. I think she needs some counseling.