how do you support two households,yours and your girlfriends?
814779
Unless you make a boat load of money you cant. make her get a good job. My dad has been supporting his gf and her kids for years and he doesnt make much. It had definatly affected what me and my sisters could and couldnt have. My dad was always stressed out and it affected the raltionship us girls had with her becuase we knew she was the reason we didnt have nicer things. If there is some reason she cant get a better job or doenst work thats a little diffrent. But dont support her completly because then she wont know what responibility is.
910405
if you've known each other for 3 years then you must know something about her parents. you can even ask your gf. if you'll buy one gift for the both of them, maybe you can give them wine, some home decor or tool. if you know how to cook or make desserts, it would be nice too.
761082
In the short term they manage fairly well, then the separations, travelling and expenses become too much.\nIf it is a serious relationship or if it could become one I suggest one of you moving closer to the other.
445436
Having both is impossible,but you can do one thing,make a small test, give them both the oportunity to show how much you mean to each one, try unembaressing ways,the financial part maybe, or even how much one can sacrifice for you, this would be a test were you can pick the right person for you...after all you want someone To live with you happily didecating his life for your relationship,,i hope i was clear. best luck
894526
After having our little girl, my boyfriend and I have a hard time getting private time together considering he has a full time job and I work part time. So we plan a day off together as a family day one week, then the next week we get a sitter, which is either his mom or my mom, and go out to eat or dance, or both. Also, I keep a small tote in my bathroom with tiny candles, massage oil, bath beads, ect.. for myself when i need to relax after my little girl goes to sleep. Maybe you could use one of your own for some night when the both of you are home and the kids are in bed, maybe just share a hot relaxing bath together? I hope these ideas help.
573268
Option nr 1 is dump, love doesnt pay the bills, but u already thought about it\nOption nr 2 is the stupidist thing I ever heard, U r not Romeo and Juliet although it might feel like it.\nOption nr 3 Dump also, dont settle to their expectations\n\nIf your girl is ready for anything, then......go out there and work your little fingers to the bone to scrape enough money together to get your own place. U can alway hire some tiny apartment at first or a room in someones house. \nDont do anything stupid. I dont mean that just one of u work, both of u, get 2 or three jobs if u have to at the end it will b worth it. It is not something for them to accept anyway, the rest of your life is your dicision.\nIts what u make of it. \nIt will b hard, but do this for yourselves and to show your parents how much u 2 care about eachother. \nDont exclude them from your lives, always make them feel welcome. They will feel so bad after a while, be the better person.\nIf u 2 really love eachother, make it happen. Your dreams r possible, its just gona take a lot of hard work. \nU obviously dont care whether your parents approve or not, so do what u can to get out of there.\nThen it is not leaving your parents bcoz it is called growing up, and bonus is it is not losing the girl.\nU have to fight for everything u want in life, otherwise u wont get anywhere.\nThe thing is...dont mean to b a damper...if you and the girl dont work out, you'll have a lot of money saved up to start a great life for yourself...thats just hypathetically.
1104931
Okay it all depends, do you love her, are yall gonna get married, if she supports u more than ur parents then go for it. Besides, ur gona have to leave the house at some point in ur life to have ur own life and be a man. And yea u took a risk, cuz u never know wat the future holds and u guys could breakup, but point is u left the house as ur own man with a life, and ur parents should cut the cord and accept ur decisions. Its time to make ur own decisions and they should do no more than say okay. Its understandable why they said what they said. My fiance and i been living together for awhile, we have a son and every decision we make is for the best for him, and we are HAPPY. So if our family dont approve, then they are losing out, we never told them to divorce or leave anyone they were with or else. But u should try to contact them a couple of more times, try to talk to them if theyll listen, but it sounds like they just wont let go, but both parties should consider each other and why they feel the way they do. IF you and ur girl are happy then great. this has nothing to do with ur girlfriend, its between u and them, and this can make ur relationship with ur gf and parents stronger if yall make a final decision of the end result. i.e. mom and dad are gonna do this, my gf and i are gonna do that, the end. Just remember they all love you.
142160
If the prorerty is yours,make a deed to them.You can either divide between them or let them make that decision whenever it needs to be done.
159443
I have always believe that when two people get married the finances should be combined and both should have equal access.  I make twice the money of my wife but I trust that she is smart enough to have equal access to the money.  She still maintains a small seperate checking account that we put some money into each month so that she can buy stuff, especially presents for me without me knowing what and how much, plus it makes her feel more comfortable.  But the majority of our money is in a joint account that she has full access to and that I encourage her to use.  When you divide money up based upon who earns what I think the relationship is destined to fail.  How can you be truely committed to a relationship if your holding on to your money to protect yourself?  When you really love someone you don't try to protect your self from them or the posibility that your relationship will fail.  To do so is admiting that it will fail.  Your other points are equally valid, it is in the families best interest that you have equal access to all funds in case of an emergency.  Your name should also be on the titles of all cars and houses and on every credit card.  I also think it is important that you take time to look at the accounts on a regular basis.  There are so many horor stories out there of one spouses problems bankrupting a whole family and the other spouse had no idea that there was a problem.  And on a final note, just because you want to stay home with the kids that doesn't make you any less important.  By taking care of the kids you are saving your family huge amounts of money without you ever being paid for it.  If he has to keep his money seperate then tell him you want an account and that he has to pay into it each month the amount that you would normally have to pay for child care plus what your not recieving from a normal job.
489722
get a new wife.  One that appreciates you for who you are.
137845
swallow your pride, whats done is done, think of all the extra income, also talk to her about the way you feel or felt and both set some quidlines as to household chores shopping etc. good luck to yoiu both, god bless.
853857
Talk with your girlfriends.
1091956
When my boyfriend (now my husband) and I first moved out of our parents houses we did have a room mate.  We had a baby and so did she.  It seemed like a good solution to share an apartment.  That lasted for 3 months and we kicked her skanky butt out.  Looking back it wasn't the nicest thing to do but we were so young and just didn't care.  We had our own apartment for several years and I thought we would never get our own house.  Then I got pregnant with our second child and after she was born we moved in with my husbands dad and step mom.  Yuck.  But we saved enough $ to buy our own first little house.  We lived there for 5 years sold it and then moved in with my mom while our new house was being built.  She was great to live with and what an experience.  A dog, two cats, and the five of us including my mom in her little 2 bedroom 1 bath condo.  We have been in our home for 4 years now.  Doing things the way we did taught me alot.  I'll never forget thinking "I will never own a home"  and here we are...it is quite remarkable.  One thing is for sure we were just as happy poor as we are well off and we have got some good poor stories.   :)   \nHope I didn't bore you with too many details...that was fun to reminisce though...thanks!!!
1023658
marry both.  two is better than one.
715027
Total up all your costs on paper and divide it by 2. Highlight the amount an leave it for him so that he can see what you are talking about. You are not the only person who lives in your home - you both do. You both are responsible for the household. If you feel strongly about it, let him know that if he doesn't pull his share, he can do it all on his own - as a single man.
355799
I am in IRAQ as i write this.I have seen my family and girlfriend 10 days since january 22 2005.I had the option of taking leave while being here but chose not to for the fact i didn't want to go through the goodbyes again.My girlfriend hates me being here but fully supports me by being there for me.I talk to her weekly on the phone and chat just about everyday on the computer.She has sent me numerous packages with "stuff" i cannot buy here.The problem i have with her is she refuses to go out at all during my absence. I told her this is not good and it only makes the waiting worse.There is nothing wrong with going out with her friends and family(she does go to her childrens house).Of course she does worry and tells me she sometimes cries herself to sleep.\n I believe the worst thing a wife or significant other can do is burden her man with menial or trivial problems that can be solved with a little time and thought.I assure you if the man had the choice he would rather be home watching his family and dealing with day to day issues.\n I have seen grown men "freak out" because of the minor problems being repeated to them from thier wives or girlfriend.During times like these maturing comes fast and hard for both people.The ones left home alone to do EVERYTHING around the house has to make all the decisions and then get used to the man coming home and trying to readjust to helping out again. The readjusting is the hardest part of coming home.now once again you must learn to accept that things will not always be done the way you have become acustomed.Just because your man is not away anymore doesn`t mean things get easier.Supporting him and he supporting you once back in the states is vital to every relationship.
163045
best way to settle them is to sit down and go over your monthly budget together, pay bills together.  do it the same time every month, have one household account that you both put in the amount you need to keep the account open and pay for all the household expenses.  Do it in equal amounts.  what's left at the end of the month from you individual paychecks is spending money and you can do with it what you want to.  ie save it, spend it, put it in your individual checking accounts or saving accounts.  (btw, household expenses includes food and clothing for the house ie yourselves and the kids.  gas for your cars needs to come out of your individual spending amounts.)  NOW KISS AND MAKE UP.