I lost the love of my life and I feel like I can't keep going. What do I do?
827179
he was never yours to begin with. You need to find happiness in your own backyard. find out what you need to make your own marriage happy, and filled with the  passion that you shared with this other man.
681051
you must feel so mixed up and betrayed but try to focus on how lucky you have been to only lose three years and a few DVDs. Give yourself a holiday if you can and spend sometime with friends and family. Talk and cry about it until you feel better but keep away from him. I found out someone I lived with was a gangster and robbed banks for kicks. When I found out he was lying about himself and tried to leave him I got a beating and he hired people to kill me. Thank God I survived. My advice count your blessings, change your phone numbers and get this creep out of your life, your heart and your head. sorry you are hurting so much but real love is out there. keep the faith
498995
I am in a similar relationship, but I know she's the one, the circumstances are just tough for us.. being so far away. Test your love.. while he's away, take space and see how you really feel without him. At first no matter what, it will be so hard.. but it will get better. Then.. the test comes.. after not having him in your life much, have a long talk and see how it feels. I lost her because I doubted someone so great could love me.. but after she gave up on me.. I realized how much she really does love me.. and slowly I am gaining back her trust, and she has all of mine.
1170601
It is totally normal to be feeling like this. They say when you break up with someone that you love it congers up the same emotions as it does when someone dies. You are in mourning for your lost relationship but don't confuse this with love. It takes time for your mind and your heart to come to terms with these situations but it will pass. Talk to you friends about everything you are feeling, even the stupid things, you may feel silly at the time but once you have got all you feelings out you will feel a load has been lifted of your mind. Every time the thought of your ex comes into your mind, change it and put your boyfriend in his place. Don't keep thinking back on things you and your ex used to do, go out and try new things with your boyfriend, these new memories will move the other memories out of your mind and you will feel yourself letting go of the past and moving on to happier times. Trust me, this has happened to me before, i nearly let my new relationship break down because of it but i got past it and am happier than i have ever been. Don't be afraid to let go, you will always have the time with your ex to look back on in the future but don't let it destroy you chance of happiness.
945244
I'm so sorry about what has happened to you... *HUGS*... You have to think hard about everything. Weigh things carefully. Should you and your wife get back together, there should be love for each other.  The first thing that you have to do is to fix yourself, physically and emotionally. Get help from your family. I know how it feels to be hurting inside, not knowing what to do with the feeling. It kills you inside. You want to cry but crying isn't enough to let your feelings out. Just fix yourself first. More importantly, fix yourself emotionally. From there, you'll know what to do next...
373773
Unfortunately I also lost the love of my life due to some faults of my own.  It took me a long time to realize that I had to let him go.  It was just not to be.  Only then was I able to work on my faults to be a better person all around.  That was a few years ago, I still love him, but haven't spoken to him since, but in a way I thank him for hurting me into getting help with some faults I really needed to fix.  Time is all that will heal.  I would let her go and take care of #1....YOU!  good luck!
463660
I'm very sorry for your losses. Allow yourself to grieve, even if you have to be strong for everyone else. Find someone you can talk about it with, even if they only listen. Find a friend to talk to that has lost someone and can understand how you are feeling. You could also find an online chat for people dealing with a loss. I hope things get better.
413891
He wasn't ready for what ever reason to commit to you. Don't beat yourself up over this, there are people that will come and go in our lives, some for the good and some for the bad... it just makes us stronger people. Obviously you invested more in this relationship than he did, and it's going to hurt for a while trying to get over it. Grieve for a while, if you want to cry and feel sorry for yourself, do it.... it's all part of the process of loss. Just always remember your self worth, and that we are not the lessor of our selves, we are the sum of ALL of our parts, and that is something phenomenal. There may be more men like him in your future... and then again you may meet your soulmate tomorrow.... just don't let life get you down...it's too short to waste the energy on negative people. God bless you, good luck, Peace.
96277
Keep going with your ralationship with her, but keep your eyes open at the same time. Maybe she is with you because she needs something to fill the hole in her broken heart for the moment, but how can you be sure she is loving you because of who you are. Think about when you are about to drown, you would grab anything you can get with the hope it would help you not to sink in the water ... Don't soak yourself in the pain of what had happened, but try to understand why it happened, why and how she (and he) did that ... This will help you to realized better who they really are ...\nKeep the ralationship longer, and sooner or later you will find out if she truelly loves you, because of who you are, and is the right person for you, before you make your life's important decition.\nLook forward, be a man and good luck !
409662
DANG THAT'S A TOUGH ONE ; i KN0 i ASKED MYSELF THE SAME THiNG EVRYDAi ; BUT iT TAKES TiME - U WiLL STiLL HAVE SOME MEMORi OF HiM - BUT iT GOES AWAi SLOW - U WiLL STiLL HAVE SUM FEELiNG FOR HiM BECAUSE iT WAS LOVE ND LOVE NEVER GOES AWAi EVEN A LITTLE - SO JUST TRi TO TALK TO OTHER PEOPLE TO HELP U GET OVER HiM ; iT MiTE HELP ; OR DO THiNGS TO GET UR MiND OFF OF HiM -- iT HELPD WiT MEH .. SOO YEA
1073572
I totally understand what you are going through .. it is not easy to lose someone you love .. especially that he is the one who gave up on your relationship .. \n\nSweetie, I want to tell you that you need time, your feelings are hitting bottom low right now and you need time to recover and heal yourself .. his rejection must have hurt you bad and your heart is bleeding right now but even though you don't believe it YOU ARE STRONG .. your quest for help proves that you are stronger than you think.\n\nMy advise to you, take your time to refresh yourself, do things and activities that you like, it is also helpful if you have a best friend (preferrably a SHE) to spend time with and just have fun,\n\nI will be praying for you
92790
By taking it one day at a time. and working on the things you can control. \n\nWork on dating new people, and learning what you like in women. She has left you and is not comming back so you might as well move on also. \n\nIt's your choice you can pine over a lost love or work on making new memories with someone new. the choices are up to you. \n\nI would suggest reading the book\nWho moved my cheese it's small and oh so wonderful for helping you look at your life with a critical eye. \n\nThen I would suggest readong smart love. \n\nMay God Bless your life.
251351
I deal with this daily.\n\nYou move on until you find someone who makes you feel the way "the one that got away" did. There could be any number of reasons that the first one got away, but the fact is that she did, and has likely moved on with her life - you should, too.
1006310
I can feel your pain. You no doubt feel lost and puzzled about what you might have done wrong and what you could have done to stay "in love". I think it is remarkable how you could write a message/ask a question that is so mature, free of hate and blame. It is possible that she feels the same way, but possible that she is comfortable with the situation and still in love with you, but neglects you since she is comfortable. You need to sit down and talk and let her know how you feel.\nYou both are still young. Even if the split proves to be permanent, you will eventually get through your grieving. \nAll the best to you both!
285736
What did you do, if you post that you will get more help. Some times that is just the way it is. When something is in your face all the time you get used to it. It becomes something you think you can do without. The only way to know if you can be without anything, is to lose or let it go for a small period of time. Go the distance, if love is still there it can be rekindled. Spare no expense, use what you know about her. Shock her suprise her, make her feel like the love of your life, it's more than just words, it's action that makes the words. Good luck!
679050
So sorry that you are going through this. I can relate 100%.\nThe pain and depression from a break up can take over your life if you let it.. It did me for a while and I still have my moments. (I was w/ my now ex for 19 yrs.)It has been 9 months since my break up...\n(he also walked out on his 2 daughters)..\nDrugs and alcohol can consume a persons morals and soul...\n\nHere are some things that helped me and some I still continue to do:\n\nWrite a letter to her, but don't mail it, this is for you to express your feelings...burn it after reading this letter.. write and burn as often as you wish.. it does help.. this helps me to let go..\n\nKeep a daily journal of how you feel each day. \nJot down a POSITIVE word to describe yourself (loving, caring, compassionate, outgoing, and so on.).\n\nTake a long brisk walk, go for a swim, go to the gym... do something just for your self, something that you like and brings a smile...\n\nMake a  pro/con list of the relationship you had with her.\ndon't nit pick or sugar coat this list...be HONEST....\nThen make a list of the things you want to find in a woman(NOT HER)..don't over load this list, no one it perfect..\nI had to redo my list a few times....\n\nGo out with your freinds or family, DO NOT ISOLATE YOURSELF from others or life.... it only makes life harder for you!!!\n\nRemember and remind yourself that she chose her life and you can not change her.(I tried to change my ex and waited for him to grow up and change his life for 19 yrs., I lost out on a lot more then just losing him)...\n\nRemind your self that YOU are a GOOD person and you have control of your life, you can't change the past BUT you can change your future and make it happy if you choose.\nYou have control of you!!!\n\nAgain I'm sorry you are hurting so deeply. \nIn time you will feel better and begin to start your life over.. look to make friends with other women first..\nDo NOT rush into a new relationship just to be with some one and not be alone... THIS WILL NOT HELP YOU...\n\nIf you want to chat, email me, I'll be your chat pal.\n\nI hope this helps..
790072
I know exactly what you're going through.  There's no advice that anyone can give you to get you through this, which makes it so much harder.  And I think you're doing the right thing by acting happy and like you're fine.  You don't want to wear your heart on your sleeve.  That's only for your closest of friends to know - and that's what they're there for.  You need to continue your life without him as hard as that is.  \n\nIf you know there's 0 chance of getting him back, just realize that that's the reality.  You're probably beating yourself up trying to figure out how to win him back, but reality hits hard and you just need to accept it.  You have to be happy for him if he's happy and just know that you did what you could and you can't do anymore.  \n\nSomeone once told me that guys always realize what they've done wrong when they're older and wiser, but they'll never admit to it.  Just continue with your life the way you are and cry when you need to.  If you live day to day with a sad face, it' s not going to help your situation any more.  It's not going to bring him back, not going to make you happier, not going to change anything.  \n\nTime is the only healer.  I think about my ex all the time.  He won't return any of my calls or talk to me.  So I just leave him messages telling him I'm thinking of him and if he needs anything I'll be there.  But I still don't hear from him.  So slowly, I'm letting go.  I know it's already been 4 months.  But I've known people that it's taken them a year or more to get over someone.  \n\nMaybe it just wasn't in the stars for the both of you to be together.  Take what you've learned in the relationship and only remember the good things.  I'm sure he's a wonderful guy, but that doesn't mean you'll find someone more wonderful who will make that committment to you and stick with it.  Don't rush into another relationship because you know you're still not over him.  Be honest with yourself.  That's fine if you think about him all the time - you really love him.  \n\nBut if you really love someone, let it go.  If it comes back to you it's meant to be.  And in this case, since he's moved on, it just wasn't meant to be.  I'm sorry.  I definitely know break-ups are not easy, but don't forget to continue respecting yourself.  You're not alone...