Would you stay with someone who didn't want any more kids?
814623
Perhaps be grateful for the child you have and respect that he is honest enough to say he doesn't want anymore and start planning the rest of your life together.\n\nI don't want to discount your desires.  However, what does this say about your comittment if you are considering leaving because you are not getting your way.\n\nIn some respects, it sounds like he already has another child, and she is threatening to leave if she doesn't get his way.\n\nYou've got to either find a way to convince him to be enthusiastic about having another child, or he has to find a way to convince you to be enthuisatic about keeping the family size just as it is.\n\nWork on that, and leave the childish thoughts about leaving to the kids.
925339
Yes, he SHOULD love you more than he does the kids, but very seldom does that happen. In my case, I definitely loved my kids more than I loved her, and we ended up divorced after 25 years. If I had loved her more than the kids , it might have ended up differently. If I had it to do over however, I think I would still love the kids more......they're MY flesh and blood!
396488
Your situation sounds like mine!  The father of my kids basically turned his back on us.  He ran off to live his life and complete his education while leaving us behind.  Next thing I know, he admits to having a child by someone else (after the kid was almost two years old).  I could go on and on about the situation, but I won't.  Now he wants me back because he can't find a decent female that will accept a guy with three kids AND bad finances!!!  Ha, ha, ha!!  It's so funny!  Before, the man was telling me all of the reasons that I wasn't good enough for him!  During a recent conversation, he even admitted that, at one time, he thought that he was better than me!!!  Now, he's always whining about how he thinks that we should raise our kids together, which, I admit would be a good thing.  But, I know that he wants that for the wrong reason, only for his convenience.  I could go on and on, but this is about you, not me!!  Sorry!!!  What I'm TRYING to say is that if we weren't good enough for them before, we're not good enough for them now (or in other words, we're too good for them now)!!!  I don't know exactly what your children's father did, but if he chose to run off and leave y'all to live his life as he pleased, then I don't think it will be worth your time to fool with him.  Invest your time into becoming as successful as you want to be and into finding a man that will love and respect you and your child or children!
689150
You can't have everything.  If you don't have children, you are free to do other things.  And there were many things I wanted to do but couldn't because I had decided to have a baby.\n\nDo I wish I didn't have him, absolutely not. He is a big part of my life and so many things that I could have done, would have been long forgotten by now.  For me, it was the right decision, but it would not be for everyone.
365432
I'm in a similar situation with 3 kids (2,5,7).  At first I thought it would be better to be with a never-married single w/o kids; now I feel that it's better to be with a divorced man with or without kids because of the similar understanding and bad experience of divorce as well as the willingness and commitment to NEVER be divorced again, especially if someone has kids, there are too many people's lives our decisions are affecting.  I also need answers...thanks for asking and good luck!
508223
They say that if people waited til they could really afford it before they had a baby, no one would have any children, ever.\n\nHowever, 24 is very VERY young. Other people having children around you should not influence your decision.  The guy you're dating, although you don't say much about him, has alot of children already that he presumably doesn't live with. Perhaps not the best support,having a baby is hard work.\nAsk yourself\nWill you live with your partner for 18 years or more?\nIs he a good father/do you want him to be the father of your children?\nCan you be completely selfless?\nCan you give up your life as you know it?\nCan you give a child the very best start in life?\n\nIf you can answer yes to those questions you are ready. If not, or if you just want a dolly that will call you momma, you're really not.
34321
I have 4 Children. \n\nI do not want any more, but love the ones I have...\n\nThere is No comparison between the feeling of having sex Without a condom compared to the feeling with a condom. \n\nBUT, I ONLY have sex with my wife. Period.\n\nShe only has sex with me, so the chances of getting a STD are very very slim if not nonexistant. \n\nAs for not having any more kids, I had a vasectomy so that we can have "un sheathed" sex without risking having more kids. \n\nWe BOTH like it better that way..\n\nSo here is advice.\n\nFind someone you love who loves you.\n\nMarry them.\n\nHave sex with Only them forever.\n\nDon't have sex before marriage...\n\nHave one of you get "fixed" when you are done having kids...\n\nAnd Enjoy each other safely forever.
977627
no i wont marry you! but yes i most certainly believe in it!  the fact that people dont think they need to marry has led to the breakdown of the family and the problems we see now are the results of selfish people who have kids and then think they are under no obligation to stay around! i can say this cus i have done the same in the past myself. if we would have been marryd and committed to each other we would have work on our relationship instead of parting!
908507
If I found someone that I loved so much and the thought of losing them made me sick and heartbroken, I would hold on to them for dear life!  Everyone wants the fairytale life of prince charming and kids running around, maybe your prince is a princess?  I think that if you do not at least talk with her, you will always regret it.  10 years from now you could be married with two children and still be thinking about her.  Don't do that to yourself.  If the two of you love each other, everything will work out.  As far as kids, we get many lesbian couples in our office starting a family with donor sperm every day.  It's great to see that these couples can also have a family.  Good Luck!
528211
wow.  I can't believe you would separate yourself from your kid.  I want to be around my kids all the time.  Sounds like you are being selfish.  You must see your kids as being too much work, so you send them off half way around the world.  Maybe you shouldn't breed anymore.  Save the little love you have left for the 18 month old.
585528
i would but not for too long, i wouldn't want to get stuck with the kid to take care of. also why is she prego with out the man by her side... sounds kind of fishy, but everyone has their reason.
412155
Its very possible that your boyfriend doesn't want another child at this time and is happy with the current situation.  Truth be told, unless you want to leave your boyfriend and form a relationship with another man, I don't think pursuing a baby with him is a good idea now.  If he is avoiding the baby discussion, then I think you know how he probably feels about it.  If he WANTED another child, I think he would be initiating the dialogue with you.  I would not give any weight to the fact that your cousins have more kids than you do or that you daughter is an only child.  Having a baby to give your first child a friend is a poor reason to get pregnant.  You have to do what is right for your family unit and your situation.  So are your feelings based on envy or the biological clock?  Its very likely that they are, but this is one decision that SHOULDN'T be made on emotion.  The question you may have to ask yourself is whether ahaving nother child is worth losing your boyfriend over.
680116
This is such a personal decision.  First of all, how are you and your spousal-unit handling the two you have?  If you are all well adjusted, have no health concerns and both agree that you want to do this then you should go ahead.  Lots of people prefer to have the children close together.  The children grow up together and can often bond.\n\nIf you are having your children on your own, then carefully consider what it will mean to your day to day life.  Then proceed with caution and joy!
227451
You were once obviously, thats why you have the child.  If having his kid wasnt enough for him to stay with you, I don't know if there is much more you can do.
434167
i think it is better to have 2 children myself but there is a big age different there. i have 6 kids myself and i love them all very much. my older sister wanted another baby after i had my 3 rd son my #5 lol and she did after 7 years of freedom and she said if she had to do it all over again she would not. its truly a big question you want to ask yourself if you are ready to lock yourself down to another baby and give up what you got. i mean its hard today with kids the rules have changes alot and your age is another thing you might want to look at to the older you get the harder it is to carry a baby my last daughter i thought i was dieing it was very hard f or me and i was only 30. my sister also had alot of trouble she was 33 with her last one. best of luck .
1184467
i wouldn't stay married for the kids thats for sure. it doesn't do the kids any good, you are teaching your kids (by example) what love and marriage and relationships are all about and if you don't want better for them then stay, if you do want better for them lead by example. if the parents can keep the focus on the kids they can be children of divorce and not suffer horrible consequences. they do ok if grown ups act like grown ups and don't get caught up in childish games. being committed to the welfare of the children is totally  different than being committed to a marriage.\n\ndon't forget that they see you and your husband from a childs perspective, they have no idea what an adult relationship is about. i learned this when after divorcing my husband and i were both in other relationships, the kids loved each of our partners very much, but one day my son said he wanted us to live together again, me (thinking like a grown up) said i thought you loved val and jimmy (the bf and gf) they said we do they can come too! it was simply about having access to both of us and had nothing to do with us being a couple. duh, i probably should have figured that out sooner but i didn't.  in fact they don't even realize that you have a relationship with each other aside from them, its just not in their experience yet so they have no idea of its existence, depending on their ages of course. older kids can have it explained and i assure you that they want their mom and dad to be happy people.
746500
I agree with you.  Get out if there is abuse or infidelity, but stay for the sake of the kids even if the love is gone.  When the kids are 18, then you can think of your own wants and desires.\n\nI came from a broken home and it really messed up my views of relationships and marriage.