My wife had affair 1 year ago. She may be up it to again.....?
830283
well you must be as old as me or older and i ask why are you wasting time on here talking about something that important.  I got lucky and found this site to stop me from being bored out of my mind at night at work but other then that i spend time with my woman and take care of her in any and every way.  So your wife probably isn't the problem.
1095126
Ask her if she wants to try swinging or polyamory. I don’t know your views on non-monogamy, but if she responds positively to your suggestion, the two of you should seriously look into the possibilities. Obviously her cheating was unfortunate because it involves deception, but you need to distinguish between whatever pain you feel from the deception, and whatever feelings you might have about non-monogamy. You can’t change the past, but you can set sail for a more promising future if you establish a new commitment together. This new commitment is not the traditional “forsaking all others” that you find in conventional marriage ceremonies, but a commitment of partnership through the adventures yet to come. At some point you should probably tell her that you know about her previous cheating, but you should do this at a time when you are feeling like you love her – NOT at a time when you are feeling bitter or resentful.\n\nOn the other hand, if you bring up the possibility of non-monogamy and she says “no way” or gets angry at you for even thinking about it, then you might want to GENTLY tell her that you know about her cheating, and that you forgive her and still love her. Once she sees this reaction, her insecurities about non-monogamy might eventually fade away and then she might be willing to think about it more positively. But don’t expect everything to be resolved all at once. You might have to work on this aspect of your relationship for many months before you both reach a point where you can trust each other enough to let go of the past and start anew.\n\nAnd finally, I should point out that I am simply offering one suggestion that most people might not consider. The actual wisdom of this suggestion depends on a lot of factor that I don’t know because I don’t know either you or you wife. If you want to talk in more detail about your specific situation, feel free to contact me. I might modify my suggestions based on your actual feelings and the actual situation.\n\nBy the way, my wife and I have been non-monogamous for the past several years, and we grow more in love with each other every day. We are living proof that love in marriage can be amplified by love beyond marriage – in contrast to the standard belief that extra-marital love is always destructive. If you are a great enough soul to love your wife despite her past mistakes, then you could discover that your most amazing and deeply-loving years are yet to come.
89483
I am a female whose husband had an emotional affair.\nOne tiny white lie will lead to a road of destruction.\nI am currently trying to forgive him, but its not working so well. Any and all cheating is unforgettable. The true trust will be gone forever.
60065
She will forgive you, for sure, just give her time. But if you dont love her, REALLY LOVE HER, do her a favor and leave her alone. Finding out about an infidelity is very painful, so dont put her through that misery again. After she is back are you willing to marry her??? What compromise are YOU willing to make??? If you dont know or dont want to have a serious relationship, please leave her alone!!!
938681
I would say dont bother to worry .... maybe your wife has some feelings and the name is an outcome of it .. just love her as you were doing earlier and dont worry ..\n\nRegards\nSameer\nhttp://sameer-shaikh.blogspot.com
997451
i do not think you are stupid at all, you must really love her I mean real, true, deep love to forgive her for that. since she cried so hard and begged your forgiveness, and since you are the only person she opens up to, it means that she does love you. don't think because she cheated she dosn't love you, it has to do with something that you weren't giving her thus she had to look elsewhere. This could be sex, attention, love, support, a million different things to be real. if you really want to work this out then you have to be willing to forgive and forget. you also need to have a serious talk with her about why she cheaated. Just simply ask her why, what was her reasoning. if you want to ensure that she dosn't cheat again then you have to make sure that you are giving her what she needs and fulfilling your part of the relationship deal, but if she cheats again, its over, and there is no hope. I just went through the same thing except im the one who cheated and he said he would forgive me but then he didnt act right read my last question for what happened cuz now he wants me back that im gone. he is B in my question if you want to take a look. Good Luck to you. Hope I helped.
271160
If I was you I wouldn't take her back. If she did it the first time, shes gonna do it again!. Find a real woman that will respect you and love you. You sound like a good guy, You deserve better!!I always think if you are not sure about something, don't do it.. SHE WORTH'S NOTHING! Trust Me!\n\nGood Luck. Hope you find the right one :)
792505
well you have to build a new history with her.  past behavior best predicts future behavior.  if she doesn't cheat on you for a month then she probably won't cheat on you next month.  anyway the point is take it one day at a time and i'm sure you can learn to trust her again.
862968
If you have both been cheating for this long, clearly it's not just a fling.\nI think you should seek out martial counseling (with this woman).\nI KNOW that you should both divorce before you conceive a child together. \nThe dishonesty is going to create problems for you and your wife, her and her husband. So get it all out, done and over with now.\nThen move on with this woman.
99338
I'd recommend getting a therapist or religious clergy person involved in this process.  You both need someone neutral to help work through trust issues.  However, the counseling will only help if you and your wife are BOTH interested in mending your relationship.  It will be a long road, but you can get through this with time and support.  It will be more important than ever to be honest with each other and make time for your relationship.\n\nWhile some say "once a cheater always a cheater" that is often true.  In my experience that's been the case most often.  However, it's not an absolute!  I've also experienced the other side.  People can change and people make mistakes.  Relationships need to grow and perhaps it was just in the growing stage during the affair.  If you are both committed to make it work you can get back to what you had.
729422
You've done something pretty bad I take it, and here is your first problem in trying to get your wife to give you another chance- you keep calling whatever it is - a "mistake". Big no no.\n\nYour wife wants you to accept full responsibility for what you did. Say "I was wrong", etc. Calling it a mistake is minimizing your role in it. Like maybe you "accidently" had sex with another woman, or punched her, or gambled away your kids college fund, or whatever.\n\nI don't know what you did, but your approach to get her back is backfiring on you. I know from experience.
1033151
When something like this happens its smart not to obsess about the actual details of events because they don't really mean anything. Ask yourself questions like "Why did she behave the way she did? Did she do it to hurt me, or because it was what she wanted to do at the time?" If she did these things again, would you be able to take her back again? What do you think the chances of her doing these things again are? If you don't think so, why not? How has she or your circumstances changed?
759810
First of all, dying is not an option here -- you have 2 children that love you and depend on you.  Be the responsible parent here.  \n\nI feel for you -- I really do.  Years ago, my wife of 6 years told me matter-of-factly that she had a boyfriend and that our marriage was over.  I felt like my world had ended.  But it did not.  Life went on, and I had to find the courage to pick up and begin again.  I and I alone am responsible for how I deal with what life throws at me.\n\nYou suspect that your wife is still cheating?  Act -- do not react.  If she refuses to get marriage counseling, then hire a private investigator to follow her.  This might sound harsh, but you should expect nothing less than the two of you to be faithful to each other.  There is no excuse whatsoever for a person to have an extramarital affair.  \n\nOne who does is, in effect, telling the other spouse that they are not worth much and that their own pleasure means more to them than the children they have.\n\nWhatever you decide to do, decide that you will follow through with it.
1117149
Well, yes a marriage can recover from an affair.  Many marriage have made it inspite of.  But you will need to communicate because obvious something was missing for him to cheat (because you did not say he was a bad guy).  But you might need to go to counselor to repair the damage.  I know from first hand experience, it does hurt when a spouse cheats on you.  But you can get past it.
562334
Well, I am sure it didn't come out of nowhere. There were probably a lot of signs you missed seeing. Well, you can either work to persuade her to not divorce, or you can divorce.
201920
If she cheated once, chances are she will cheat again. Especially considering its a lond distance relationship. Move on.
188166
It's not just women who do that, men do as well. There are NO guarantees that she won't cheat again. The question is, do you want to take that chance? I always say, if they cheat once they'll do it again.