Has anyone found true happiness after an unwanted divorce?
820589
WELL YES I HAVE....YOU JUST HAVE TO PUSH ALL THE HURT TO THE SIDE AND CONCENTRATE ON YOUR SELF AND HEALING YOUR SELF...AND THAT CAN BE A LONG PROCESS....BUT YOU NEED TO LOVE YOUR SELF FIRST BEFORE YOU CAN LOVE ANOTHER....I KNOW THAT YOU HAVE HEARD THAT BEFORE BUT IT IS TRUE...AND THE OTHER THING IS TO NEVER BLAME YOUR SELF FOR ANY THING AND KEEP YOUR HEAD UP HIGH....JUST KEEP BUSY AND TRY NOT THINK ABOUT WHAT HAS HAPPENED......FIND HOBBY'S TO GET IN TO AND JUST TRY TO STAY BUSY...EVENTUALLY IT WILL BE EASIER BY THE DAY AND BY ONE NIGHT YOU WILL BE READY TO GO BAKU OUT ON THE FIELD AND PLAY BALL ONCE AGAIN....HOPE ALL IS WELL FOR YOU....KEEP YOUR HEAD HIGH.....
260006
I understand your loneliness completely, and it is a very difficult emotion to deal with, maybe you may feel better if I were to share with you the fact that I was once married, I loved pure and true, and was abused and hurt.\n\nI then remarried 3 years later, and although cautious at first, I learned to give again whole heartily and loved again pure and true, and was abused and hurt again.\n\nI now have been single for 10 years, and I despise loneliness, although I am very happy with myself, and love myself.\n\nAnd although I have only been allowed the opportunity to be a part time father, I feel a great and powerful sense of loss, as I have never believed in Divorce, however this is the reality with in our society today, that it takes two to Merrie, and only one to divorce with no reason stated or given, they call it no fault.\n\nI must say that had I ever known my marriages would have ended up in Divorce, I would have rather been lonely, and just happy being me.  Although I have no regrets, and love my children dearly.\n\nMaybe possibly if you were to think of all the things of which you would have to sacrifice with in the confines of a relationship, especially it your partner were to abuse or hurt you, then you could take more satisfaction in your single status, and appreciate it.
820856
I don't want to be critical, but I want to be honest in my answer.\n\nI had this same fear after my 2nd marriage ended.  Thank goodness I had a dear friend who saw what I was experiencing and helped me rebuild my self-esteem and helped me "find myself".  I realized that I was not happy with myself and that I needed to be before I got involved again.  This was not a quick process.  And it was a lonely one.  But I thank God every day that I went through it.  When I quit looking and found out that I actually liked myself, I found a great guy.  He and I are no longer together, but I found that I am a complete person without a man.  This has given me a whole new perspective on life and relationships.  Since then, I have met and dated a much higher quality of men.  The man I'm seeing now is a wonderful and thoughtful man who is a good father and is concerned about the people around him.  This is want I wanted and what found me.\n\nI hope my experience can help!
197625
Yep it is hard to get back out there after being with the same person for a long time.I Have been divorced for over 3 years separated for over 6.If you just got a divorce you probably should not jump right into a relationship.But is hard to be alone so find yourself some old friends and hang out.If you are interested in a certain type of activity hang out there and find people with same interests.I myself cannot wait for the racing season to start at the dirt tracks....And am looking forward to going to hang out and drive the go carts in cottage grove.So hang where you are interested like baseball game... and find someone female that is interested in same things and build from there.I am also from Minnesota. Good luck.
914367
Mixed emotion, clouded mind, dark roads, all can seem a bit scary. But did you know that you hold the key to your new tomorrow? In your own hands you hold your life and the life of your kids. You also have the keys, flash light and map for your tomorrow.\n\nAfter the divorce you are given new powers to re-write your life story and tell it to the world how you want it to be heard. Divorce will bring you freedom. You are free to move on. Do not be like the elephant on a chain. A trained elephant has been chained and conditioned to only move about (by the limitations of the chain). Once the chain is taken off, the elephant does not run free because they have convinced them self that they are  still chained up. Do not let your past haunt you like this. You are a free woman. Get up and move about and explore the world you have been dying to see.\n\nThink not of yesterday or the what could have been, learn to live in the moment of today. Embrace your new freedom.
1137967
I got the crap beat out of me by my first husband got divorced and then after we got divorced he ran over a Texas highway patrol man when he was drunk I  think brain damage is an OK reason to get divorced.Who ever told you so was false do not believe everything people tell you.I worked in a nursing home for years and I saw a lady come in when her husband who was in a come and incapacitated with half a brain say miserable come in and finally divorce him after she met someone else its not fun
213063
Hey, I know how you feel. I'm the one who told my ex-husband that I wanted a divorce and it took him 2 years to get up off his lazy butt and have it finalized. As for why your ex-husband still acts bitter, I really don't know. MEN!!!
84757
Sounds like this hit you hard. Sounds like you didnt know it was coming. They have support groups for divorce people. Try going out and doing something for yourself thats make you feel good, and dont blame yourself.
1153223
I did the same thing many years ago and we finally got back together after about a year apart and got married but ended up divorced before our 8th anniversary.   The problems that were there before were still always there, but I thought he would change and I was lonely and I hadn't gotten into another relationship.  He was my first love!   But 5 years after our divorce, I met a really wonderful man and we've been together now for 16 years and I can't even picture being with my ex anymore.  Sometimes a new relationship does the trick after you've had time to heal from the last.  I didn't think I could move on but I did and life has never been better!
368939
Divorce usually works.
1121739
Haha! I couldn't be happier.     \nmore happy doesn't exist.\n\nGod bless...
275547
Yes, the night we separated.  My ex-wife stabbed me with a knife and was arrested.  I left and filed for divorce the next day.  Our marriage was horrible.
543119
No, I don't long for her, but I sometimes think it was just a shame that it had to end. Now, I have someone I love who loves me back and I wish my ex happiness. I think it's good to move on and not dwell in the past and long for what is gone. So, I really didn't suffer a "lost opportunity at love" - I HAVE it now!
39362
I've done that in the past 3 years.  You need to find yourself again.  Me and my ex-wife split and I had a difficult time getting on my feet.  But I eventuly did and everything is great now.  I'm going back to college and trying to make my life better.  Maybe a little to prove I can.  It may take time but don't give up and always remember you are a great person and can do great things.
860040
Yes, I DID stay unhappily married , for the kids' sake. I did it for a long time, but I could not stand the thought of not being there for them.Their Mother was not the most stable person, so it was necessary for me to be there for them until they got older, and could take care of themselves. I don't regret doing it for my kids, but I sometimes hate my best days are behind me now. If I had it to do over however, I would do it again....for them!
321882
No. The way I feel is if my spouse or signifigant other does not make me happy then chances are I am not making him happy, so best for all is to move on.
414212
There are many happy re-marriages after divorce\n\nIf you're interested in finding a website which has many happy reports of successful remarriages go to http://rejoiceministries.org it's a website specifically for people who are interested in reconciliation after seperation or divorce\n\nhttp://marriagebuilders.com is a website that has lots of suggestions by dr willard harley on how men & women's needs differ & how to identify the needs which are lacking & most importantly how to go about getting those needs met - a very good book to get is His Needs Her Needs but he also offers other resources as well as some free questionaires which are taken from his book which i suggest that you print up 3 copies of all 5 questionaires they'll help you to know where to start on your road to ReMarriage\n\nhttp://midlife.com is a website that dr jim conway has which discusses mid life issues & how to deal with them - he offers a chatroom where he goes in to answer questions weekly on wednesdays\nhe wrote the book Men in Midlife Crisis & his deceist 1st wife wrote the book Women in Midlife Crisis - women go thru MLC at an earlier age than men & many marriage issues & divorces come to a boiling point during this time period in life\n\nanother place to try is http://divorcebusting.com which is the website board for readers of michelle weiner-davis\n\na great book to read while you're seperated from your wife is the book When the One You Love Wants to Leave by dr donald harvey