lovers and friends after 8 yr relationship,is it safe??without catching feelings again??
822412
I think you always loved him,,,but probably you could not understand and you could not even express.\n\nLaughter and tears go hand in hand.\nU have already wasted precious years...if you think you love each other get back.\n\nHappy Living.
604314
Friends and Lovers aka Friends with benefits : this is when we hang out like friends but occasinally have sex or play around. This doesn't jeapordise the friendship but actually is a pro. If they have bf or gf, it doesn't matter. They are friends first. You can always ask Ludacris!\n\nGood Friends: These are your buds. They are the ones pulling you out of the shit. Probalby ppl you've known for years.\n\nBeing in love: This is stupid. Nothing but a bunch of feelings corroding your train of thought. Making you do stupid things because you feel nice around the person..that feeling makes you feel your are in love.\n\nJust kickin' it: That is what you do with either real new friends or real old friends. Just laying back and not really discussing anything. \n\nLove: Don't know!\n\nTrue Love: When you can love someone when you don't feel like it. Loving the unloveable!
917789
YES!!!  It is perfectly possible for that to happen, I have 2 friends that dated for 8 years and did not have sex till they got married.
241418
if you've known him and liked him for 8 years its time to find out and make a move or move on. I mean really 8 years!  I would guess that youve got to be in your 20's now to have had romantic feelings for a guy for that long. So go for it!
341452
No not at all, I went through this same thing a couple of years ago a male frined and I both came outta long, serious relationships about the same time and were feeling quite down and bruised by the whole thing and ended up being together alot of the time talking about it and of course one thing led to another and we eventually slept together and it just became a habit (I know that sounds awful!!) but neither of us could face another relationship at that time and we aren't into one night stands so we'd just hook up have the best laugh and then enjoy great sex before saying goodbye in the morning with no pressure it was ideal, it went on for about two yeras until we both just met people we wanted to be with and then it fizzled out but we're still the best of friends now (purely platonic!!) so it worked out fine.  The only thing I'd watch out for is that you both understand the situation if one person has feelings that the other dosen't have then it will cause problems and you shouldn't do it but if you both know it's just sex cos you have needs then go for it.  Good Luck!!
40252
You have to follow your heart.  if you don't have feeling for the person you're with, it's time to move on.  It's near impossible to not hurt who your with now, but in the long run you're going to feel better for it.  Plus, it'll spare the person your with of even more grief in the future.
95659
I think dating someone new is ok as long as you realize that you are still getting over the other person. It is important to not use the person to help your hurt feelings go away. Let the other person know you are fresh out of a relationship and not ready to take it farther,
522395
You have people who are emotionally healthy and will take some space inbetween dating and truly look at their past relationship and examine what part they had in the demise of the relationship.   \n\nOther can not stand being alone and must feel that void of a lost love with someone immediately.  This is not healthy because what they are really doing is carrying the same baggage and problems into the next relationship which will have the same outcome.   They call this getting over the ex but they are just replacing them with another player.\n\nWhether I am infatuated or believe I love someone I do not go into another relationship after the break-up.  I alway take time and space to get my head clear.
544683
Why not?\n\nIf you have spent a lot of time getting to know a person and it doesn't work out romantically, it's great if you can still have a close friend.\n\nCalling 5 or 6 times a day, and wanting him to come over for protections sounds a little obsessive and unbalanced tho, and it sounds like she might want this man back.\n\nTalk to your man about how you feel and see if you two can work something out.
782517
It was hard for me when I recently got in touch with an (THE) ex. At first it was just friendly, and then we talked a few times and I was hit with so many emotions it felt like I was punched in the stomach.  He was my first true love (at 18) and I realized that I still have feelings for him almost 20 years later-- and we are both married to others with children.  I told him how I felt and it was not great/emotional/embarassing to be feeling and acting like a teenager, though he let me down gently and we are still friendly.   So its been a tough few months. With other exs it has not been an issue, simply friendly, occassional correspondance with guys I knew in middle school, high school.  I think its not an issue if there are not any feelings left but friendly, fond memories.  If you discover, like I did, that the feelings are as fresh as they ever were than its much more complicated.  Good luck.
933869
8 yrs apart is not that great\n\nWhat I see here is a young school gal meeting a mature working adult, of course all your frens will be of no match to his mentality, he has already gone thru 8 years which you & frens did not.\n\nJust continue to be fren and get to know him better, take your time, you are only 18 !
426228
I think eventually one of the "friends" is going to develop stronger feelings if they haven't already and are just acting like they don't.  It is hard to be intimate with someone without romantic attachments....maybe not at first but in the end.
46763
It depends on the two of you. I know a ex married couple that stayed friends after 24 years of being divorced. Thats a long time and a rare occassion. They are my parents lol. Now if you ended on bad terms and are trying to get along then probably not. Or maybe he is still into you and just wants to end it before he gets caught up into the feelings all over again knowing that you can never be together.
380361
Loving her as a woman (by a man-like heart/feelings) is a sin yes. But now that you finally loved her as a friend or rather as bestfriend, I think both of you should know the limitations of your relationship by now. It is possible that, during your adjustment, you find yourself doing things that you used to do while you were lovers. Try to be watchful of your actions. I'm not advising you to avoid her but I do advise you to avoid being off guard just to caught yourself doing your old ways again. If its hard to control, its about time for the two of you to take a week off not seeing each other.
539790
i think it is better to preserve the current relationship, that is friendship. you see, if you are a couple and you suddenly break up, you can never be friends anymore. why bother to risk the nice bond you're havin rite now?
1158745
There are a few questions you should ask yourself....\n1)why should you fret over your friends opinions?\n2) were you comfortable with the relationship before you told your friends?\n3)Is the fact that you are being teased about it the only reason you are now concerned?\n4)Do you genuinely have strong feelings for this person?\n5)How would you feel if you gave them up for your friends?\n6)Do you feel the aquaintance of this person is enriching your life?\n7)Are you already thinking on the long term?\n8) If it ended, would you be thankful just to have experienced this persons affection?\n\nNow, If it feels right to you, tell your friends that you understand their concerns, but that you want to give it a whirl and have some experiences. Understand also that  although your friends are an important part of your life, your romantic relationships are between you and your partner, and no one should be allowed to sabotage that. Even if you eventually end the relationship, a true friend will still be there for you. If you are thinking on the long term, consider this.....What does satisfying sex entail for you at the age of 19? Is it mostly just physical or is it a true soul-satisfying experience just to be with this person, whether the physical part is strong or whether it is lacking? How important is it to you to have the capability to have a physically satisfying sexual experience in the years to come? Is it enough to just be together emotionally, without the sex?\nLet me explain why I asked you to ask yourself this: I am now 37 yrs old, married 15 yrs. I have experience here, although all relationships cant be judged as if you had a crystal ball....\nWhen I was 16, I went MAD over a MUCH older man. He was  42. yes 26 yrs older. A few of my buddies ragged me some, but I let it slip without having an issue. I enjoyed being with him and it was my relationship, not my friends. Buddies can't supply you with what a romantic partner can emotionally.He was so wonderful, and just being in his presence was emotionally enough. However, he was much older, and parts of him just didn't work well anymore...I was ok with that ( although I wanted more), we did other things to try to compensate for what was lacking. He eventually bowed out of the relationship because he was continually disappointed in his inability to do what it is that men do.\nOf course, all men won't have this problem, but as they age, it is not going to comply to his every whim! On the other hand, when I was your age, I had several relationships I just knew would last forever.....and they were over in what felt like a heartbeat. \nSo, if it feels right, I say go for it, if it goes long term, I hope you care enough for him to overlook any issues he may end up with. and that you are easily emotionally satisfiable. I have a feeling that there will be many more relationships for you down the road, but I could be wrong! Love can amaze us all!\nI have been married now for 15 yrs to a man who is 10 yrs older than me, and believe me when I say, older is better...in a long term relationship that is. They have more experience and are not as easy to fly off and freak out like someone younger. Patience is a virtue, knowledge is wisdom, and that comes with age. But do understand this yet again...when they get older, parts don't work as well as they used to....it's not easy for me to deal with, but I love him, so I do. And the mid-life crisis' generally start at around age 44......and that is worse than one that doesn't work!
593357
Former lovers can be friends, not that I've experienced exactly.  I have a couple that still count me as friend, some more that would slash my throat if they could.  First, remember YOU had an affair.  He is being generous and kind and that is worth something good.