What was that dumb thing Jessica Simpson said about Tuna on Newlyweds?
829515
"Is this chicken, what I have, or is this fish? I know it's tuna, but it says 'Chicken by the Sea.'"
688184
He was not drunk and it was not you...Why did they let Meatloaf kill himself in front of millions of people like that. Boy I laughed!!! I don't know what that was that Meatloaf was doing. I was all over the floor...it was awful and then he tried to harmonize with Kat and it did not work at all. I used to love meatloaf. He should have just stayed where he was all this time because goodness gracious, what was that?? Celine, we're sorry!! Lawd....I don't know what was worse, him or Toni Braxton whinin' up on Taylor in her lingerie instead of singing.....wait..no Meatloaf won.......\nOh I just saw that someone said he had been ill. Okay. I apologise for everything I said. I can understand why he sounded like that. I hope he is doing better.
606698
I just wonder what he found the most tasteless. Giving her that daily enema? Warming up her broom for that commute home?  Explaining again where the stain on the blue dress came from? Trying to find an absolutely fearless, perhaps even blind gynecologist?\n\nIt had to be pretty bad, whatever it was. It's been my experience that Dumocrats find nothing tasteless.\n(except Monica- reference the blue dress stain)
988707
That's the stupidest thing I have ever heard.\n\nAnd that says a LOT.
1030131
i laughed.\n\nbut i must ad while i have this opportunity...the hair dude? what is up with the hair?  a cheezy combover? its so repulsive, please for the love of God loose the hair. I know for a fact your wife hates it!
607089
O.k..\nLast week my sister got married and I was her bridesmaid...\nI dont know whether it was the cappucino or not but I Pooted during the blessing prayer!!..lol\nNo... Im not going to lie I farted and it was sooo loud because it was quiet then... the smell started to spread and the preacher was making twisted faces and stuff... and my BIL was laughing my sister was too...\nand someone was taping it for my mom so the next day she was showing it to people who didnt get to see it and they were laughin because the fart was audible... I was soo embaressed... the thought still makes me cringe n wanna cry...
1125928
Families are like fudge-mostly sweet with some nuts.\n  As in this case. It would be interesting to see how that would have come down. And Ted needs a good slap. I do know Jackie thought he was a pig. And I think she was right.\n Wish I knew more about Massachusetts thinking.\n And seal brings up a good point-it is odd .\n\nI had to come back-I would like to slap him.\nBack again still thinking about it-lets all slap him!
1128254
Dunno but if you share some of that funny green stuff with me I'll try to help you find it.  But then again, you can't understand a word that he's saying to begin with.\n\nMaybe you just have to be a drugged out looney like him to understand what he's saying to begin with.  I don't think he was together enough to even send a message.
1108033
Nick because Jessica Simpson is SOOOO fake and her whole family is hypocritical. All this time, her dad is a pastor and she's this big time Christian girl, and then her sister Ashlee just had face surgery..which completely transformed her into her sister. So yeah, then Jessica get's a divorce and she displays her body all over.  If Jessica were truly a Christian, she wouldn't want to display her body like she does to cause others to stumble into lustful desires. Plus, I truely think that Nick still loves her and she is truely an idiot for leaving him. I can't believe he'd actually marry her and then she turns and leaves him. I never liked her anyways...
844082
Some dumb@ss guy said "My girlfriend gags when she brushes her teeth but not when she gives me a bj, why?" and one of the funniest replies was " maybe you are smaller than the toothbrush".  I almost fell out of my chair laughing.  Oh well- ask a stupid question get a stupid answer!!
985207
definately Jessica Simpson....seriously who is that stupid...I want my son to be a ballerino? Is it chicken or fish..? Come on
307507
Brittany was on her deathbed, with her husband Adam at her side.\n\nShe kept trying to tell him something, but he kept saying, "Shhhh, don't worry now darling, just rest."\n\n"But honey," she whispered, "I need to make a confession before I die... I slept with your brother, your best friend, and your father."\n\n"Don't worry about it, sweetie." replied Adam as he wiped the tears from Brittany's cheek, "I know. Why do you think I poisoned you?"
495032
okk...\nA teacher puts a photograph of a Tomcat on the blackboard, and proceeds to ask the class, if they can tell her how the tail is attached to the cat?\n\nLittle Mary has the first attempt and answers "By fur Miss?"\n\nThe teacher replies "Not quite right Mary, but a good try."\n\nMeanwhile all during the lesson Little Johnny is sitting down the back raising his hand in the air saying "Me, Miss! Me, Miss!"\n\nThe next student the teacher picks is Peter, and he answers "Is it attached by skin Miss?"\n\nThe teacher replies. "Not quite right either, Peter, anybody else want to try?"\n\nFinally, the teacher had no choice but to pick Little Johnny. She said to Johnny "What do you think the tail is attached by?"\n\nJohnny replied, "Judging by the size of those nuts on the cat I'd say it would have to be bolted on!"
58080
"There’s Something About Marrying"\n1610 GABF04 SI-1604\nOriginal Airdate: 2/20/05\n\nTo boost tourism in Springfield, the town decides to legalize same-sex marriages. Homer discovers the monetary value of gay marriages, becomes an ordained minister via the internet, and soon marries everyone and everything in town. Patty Bouvier then comes to Homer and asks him to marry her – to Veronica a professional women’s golfer. Selma is happy for her sister that she found love, but is sad that now she is all alone. While Marge is coping with the fact that her big sister is marrying a woman, she discovers that Veronica is a man disguised as a lesbian! When the truth is exposed, Veronica is kicked out of the LPGA and Patty is driven back into the arms of the one person who truly understands her, Selma.
439142
You think thats bad, before Jenny Craig, I could not buy a donut without bumping into Kristy "Creme" Ally.\n\n\nre:mss_stphania\nobviously jealous of the "Diva of the Net"\ntoo blonde, that's like too beautiful or too smart
1166387
Shes a maroon, she thinks the olive garden is good Italian  food? She thinks she's so purdy, she'd look good in two band aids and a cork? She had to ask Heff why they don't call it 96. I don't know about being an embarrassment to women but I'd be ashamed if she was hanging around with me! Selena you don't get it. It ain't about living in a mansion. And Tomcat you need to write complete sentences.
883026
Nigel was carrying a stick and CariDee said something like,"Oh I see you got that out of your butt since the last judging." Then Nigel walked off really upset. Later CariDee wrote a letter to the judges and read it out loud. They forgave her, but warned her that she couldn't do that in the "real" world. It was a rude comment, but she was joking and the judges blew it way out of proportion.