Well I am getting out of a relationship and he is somewhat abusive. He still says he loves me. What do i do?
814506
Get as far away from him as possible.  He needs to get help and is too controlling.  You deserve to have someone that makes you happy and you deserve to have a life outside of him as well.  If he cannot accept that and trust you, then there really is no relationship.
438450
Well there are a couple ways to take care of it. If he lives with you, you can force him to move out (call the police if necessary). If you live with him, then you should move. If he hits you, then you should file charges on him and get a restraining order. Abusers were usually abused as a child so they don't see what they do as wrong. If he is young enough, some success has been found through drastic counseling measures. Maury Povich and Montel both have done the shock treatment on men like that. Taking them to see women in morgues who were abused to the point of death. If he loves you then he would stop. But you deserve much better. No woman deserves to be physically, verbally, emoptionally, or mentally abused. My advice is to send him to jail for awhile to see if he changes his ways.
770108
I honestly don't have an answer for you because of these being the only details given.  I can tell you to leave this relationship as it sounds miserable and he is emotionally abusing you.\nHTH
47836
if he's hurting you now... imagine how much more he's going to hurt you if you stick around. That's not what love is all about. For real, that's not what love is all about.\n\nNo one deserves to be treated like that. You wouldn't treat someone you cared about like that... why are you letting someone do that to you. \n\nMove on and don't look back. Even if he calls and you want to answer... don't, cuz he already has shown you his disrespect for you. to him, your just a filler.\n\nThere is nothing insane in being with someone who wants to be with you and enjoys and loves you.\n\nGirl, don't get sucked into his world... get out before he makes you suffer even more. \n\nOne day you will look back and realize you did the best thing cuz your gonna have someone who will really appreciate and love you.
980776
My sister, \n\nLet me first say I am so sorry that you are going through this.  It takes courage to post a question like this and risk hearing answers you may not want to hear.\n\nYou need to get away from him.  I know this because I was in an abusive situation but I was married.  \n\nPlease open your heart to hear this the  best way you can.  You are a beautiful queen with a spirit who deserves the best in life. \nPhysical abuse and emotional abuse is wrong. Regardless of the reasons that he gives you for his actions.\n\nHe has real issues with anger and abuse because he was probably abused himself.  It still does not give him a right to abuse you.\n\nMy concern is with you.  Your heart knows that something is wrong.  I had to ask myself after I left my relationship.  What was it in me that allowed myself to stay even after I recognized something was wrong?  I ask you the same question.  No matter what has happened in your personal past that makes you feel bad about yourself, you can recover and build your self esteem to heal the wound.\n\nI say that because I have been there.  I will pray for you.  Get out and now and allow yourself to heal before entering another relationship.  You don't need to be with anyone.  Love yourself first.  Learn how to do that.  You deserve it.  Once you start to  love yourself you will be able to see exactly why leaving this relationship is a blessing.  \n\nFeel free to email me.  Call your local family violence shelter. I would also say to call a church.  Unfortunately there are a lot of Churches that don't have experience in domestic abuse.  So if you call there and it seems like no one understands you, that's one reason why.\n\nI know you can do this.  He has messed with your mind for 4 years and he knows how to get to you.  My heart hurts with you.\nTake Care of you.  Know that you are not alone.
865888
First of all you ask for forgiveness and then you move on.  Do not keep beating yourself up for something you can not undo.  Then you need to make sure that you do not get involved with him again.  He may try to restart this toxic relationship up again because it worked for him.  You were used, keep reminding yourself of this so you don't go back to him, I have been there.  Everytime you try to justify all the good things he did, remind yourself of the pain he has inflicted on you and his family.  Stop beating yourself up...You will get thru this.
599523
If you have to ask that you aren't in love.  As for the way he treats you........ GET OUT NOW!  Nobody deserves that.  Where is your self esteem?  It is only going to get worse. Go to a shelter if you need to but dump the jerk. Good Luck
1145772
I think you need to move on, last month!  This guy is abusive to you!  It doesn't matter how much you love him or how much he says he loves you, he is abusing you and it will only get worse.  He is knocking you down, making you feel less worthy than you are and it will result in you thinking that no other guy will ever love you!  This guy is a jerk!  You are an adult human being, not a baby who needs to ask someone's permission to do anything.  Don't try to kill yourself over him, lose him!  He is not worth it.  Love is not supposed to cause you to want to kill yourself, it is supposed to be releasing, happy, joyful...something to look forward to every day of your life!  Not to dread what comes next.  Do not sacrifice your dreams, friends, family, hopes and everything else, sacrifice him!  He WILL NOT CHANGE!  Don't think that he will change for you or because he loves you or because you will help/make him change.  Only he can change and only if he wants to.  It will get worse and you may end up in the hospital or a morgue.  Would you want your children having him dampen all their hopes and dreams?  He has wasted enough of your life, let him ruin his own and you begin your life anew.  Good luck, PLEASE!
120634
there is more going on there than you think if it stays this way for while you need to let it go. because if he really wanted you and loves you he wouldnt be treating you like that. i would try to give your best shot and if nothing works i would leave and try to start your life over. if by chance your leaving scares him silly and he changes his ways then i would search your heart and see if you really want him back.
333184
He is a classic abuser. He won't change. The longer you stay with this jerk the more you will get hurt physically and emotionally. You could end up imprisoned and/or dead. So dump him. If you're having trouble doing that see a therapist to help you. Remember the sooner you get rid of him the sooner you will be happy.
852697
.\n\nYour question displays good writing skills and clear thinking.  Hence, you are NOT incompetent NOR uncapable.  All romantic relationships point toward marriage.  Marriage is a bonding of help mates, people who help each other.  Your current bf is NOT helping you by calling you names that do not apply.  This is grounds enough for you to leave him.\n\nBeing constantly subjected to abuse damages the psyche and the soul.  I commend you for wanting to consider your own faults.  But you should really do this after you have removed the external abuse from your life.\n\nLeave this person.\n\nTake a deep breath for 2 weeks.\n\nThen evaluate your own faults and cupability.\n\nGood luck.\n\n.
1107865
Looks like you are screwed sweetie - if you are willing to stay, he's more than willing to abuse you forever...
564761
Moving on is hard for him so be gentle.  Men don't like to feel rejected - actually nobody likes it.  I was schooled in Social Work and the key to letting someone down easy is making it about you. Say-"I need time to heal, to build your self esteem, to breathe, to be a better person, to experience life, to find myself" - are always good choices.  Let him know that this is not about him, but you really need your space and you don't want to be commited right now.  \n\nYou cannot be good for him if you need to work on yourself.  Now if he was abusive (emotionally or physically previously)-let him know that his time has passed.  If all else fails just simply say that you never go back.  You've grown.
605296
This is one of those things that is easier said than done, but if you value your future, and your relationships with other friends & family, you should leave him. You don't deserve to be treated like that. And he is not going to stop being jealous or overly possessive of you. If you want a good example, just talk to your local Women's Battered Shelter, and you will see all the reasons you could possibly need to realize he will not ever be any good for you. Whether its mental, emotionally, sexually, or physically abusive behavior... it usually doesn't get better. Stop it now. There are so many wonderful and sincerely loving people out there who will help bring out the best in you, than to waste your life with a control freak and cause you more problems in life.
329739
Diana..this is what i think u should do..sit down and talk to him about the way he treats u..tell him first about the good things that u love about him..but then tell him that he needs to trust u when u go out with your friends or if u just go out by yourself..(shopping or grabbing a bite to eat)..tell him in a kind way that if he keeps this up..u won't put up with it cause u want him to be part of your life and not your whole life..if it gets messy where he does hit u....stand up for yourself and have him arrested then gey a restraining order on him..its that simple sweety....please please don't be one of those gals that end up in a abuses relationship...
475891
Well he is stepping up the control and the abuse. Almost like testing the waters so to speak. He seeing how much he can get away with. He may have realized he took it too far, and my regret his actions. Unless he gets help he is not going to change.  You will change though.  Each time he abuses you he is taking apart of your soul. You won't even realize it. Before you realize your entire life will be based on his reactions. The cycle of abuse is hard to stop. The only thing you can do at this point is get out while you still can.
564523
Your 'creature' is controlling you! This is NOT a good relationship, nor is it healthy for either one of you. Draw the line now! Speak to whomever you want. If he gets mad, tell him, "Goodbye." Short, swift, and mean what you say. Don't wishy wash on this, or you will be in for some serious problems from now on. It will escalate to beating, abuse, you name it. You are in a bad relationship that is not going to get better.