How to deal with a mother in law/grandchild situation at family functions.?
822311
WOW...whats the big deal, your mil loves your child and when she gets to see him she wants to express all her love on him. You should be thankful, some grandparents dont want anything to do with thier grandkids.\nWhat is the harm in letting her take over when you visit????\nYou get to have the baby to yourself and be a full time mom at home, I dont see your frustration in her actions, you should be happy that she cares so much.\nI feel sorry for you and your son because if you keep letting this get under your skin you will never have a good relationship with her, I think you have other issues with your mil and this is the reason that it bothers you so much when she "takes over" with the baby.\nI dont mean to get on your case but grow up and let your family enjoy your son, it will only benefit him in the long run.
88168
My mother in law was the same way.  My husband didn't want to get involved because he said it was like a soap opera.  But then he did get involved and we no longer talk to his side of the family.\n\nYour husband needs to get involved for the sake of your marriage. She needs to tell you why she acts like that.  Most likely it's the same old thing of she feels like she is loosing a son.  Hopefully she would be willing to talk about it.  I started with a very polite letter but face to face would be better.  Work out a way that she can continue to be part of his life if that is what the problem is.  But your husband needs to support you!\n\nWe would e-mail and I showed my husband everything.  She would also yell at me on the phone and then tell him I was yelling at her.  He figured it out.  We went through counseling and she couldn't even be honest there.  So that is when we both said enough and don't have any communication with them anymore. You have to do what is best for your family.\n\nProof is always the best but your husband should trust you there and be willing to work out a solution.  But if your mother in law won't talk about it there isn't much you can do but avoid her.  But don't let it affect you. I ended up having major heath problems because of the stress.  It's her problem not yours!
991103
ohhhhhhhhh. I hate know-it-all-inlaws. I have a sister in law like that and a mother in law that butts in and makes me feel stupid.\nThe only thing you can do is smile and endure. Pretend like you dont hear them or something.
956005
Your mother-in-law is'nt a psyco case. in fact you are very lucky to have such a caring mil and you should be greatful to god.\n\nshe stops you from going around the house wihtout a bra because you are a young girls. your mom in law has been with the men in the family for a long time now and they wont think about her in any other sense. but you being new to the family will attract attention easily.\n\nshe is following her meternal instinct of prevention is better thatn cure. why even take a chance of your being in trouble?\n\ninstead of abusing her like this be glad that even after marriage you are getting the same love and care of a mother.
116053
mostly in-laws are hard to get along with each other.  some reasons are both sides are so insecure with each other.  u are in the center.  dont take her side or your family side be in the middle.  did u ever talk to your mom if she knows any reason why your wife is treating them like that?  u can talk to your wife and tell her that your family is not comfortable that the way she treats them.  but dont be sound like you are taking your family side.  she might freak out and start an argument.  its really hard if your family get invloved with your marriage.  sometimes u feel like u need to choose between them.  but i'm pretty sure u both love your family and your wife.  u dont want to hurt any of them.  u have to talk to them.  u dont have to leave your wife u just need to talk to her about that problem.
1124800
GIVE HER SPACE ..AND MAKE PLANS TO GO OUT AS A FAMILY AND ONLY YOU AND HER AND IF YOU HAVE KIDS REMEMBER IT NOT THE KIDS FAULT YOU ARE THE ADULT AND YOU NEED TO OPEN UP ...MAKE HER FEEL YOUR THERE IT WILL BE HARD BUT HEY ...THAT HOW YOU START THE BOND ....................AND YES SHE IS PART OF YOUR HUSBAND LIFE SO ...MAKE THEM BOND ALSO SO SHE WONT FEEL YOUR IN THE MIDDLE OF THEM....LET THEM HAVE QUALITY TIME...ALSO...SO IF SHE IS HOME SICK PLAN TO DO THINGS OKAY..AND BE A MOTHER TOOO...OKAY..SHE IS A DAUGHTER BECAUSE SHE IS IN YOUR LIFE A HEY 3 WEEKS IS NOTHING ..SO HEY SHE NEEDS TO EAT SO HAVE CONVERSATIONS WITH HER ..OR SIT WITH HER AND TELL HER .....DO YOU WANT TO DO SOMETHING AND ......HEY SHES JUST 11 ...SHE IS A CHILD..
662922
tell mom-in-law to do things your way in your home or hit the highway...[its your life] make your own choices..
127774
Just go with the flow so to speak. Be considerate of her child though. Make allowances if she can't do things because of her child. Be understanding, compassionate and caring.\nHaving a child make it harder for you to go out spontaneously. plan things for at home, and include the child in your plans sometimes. she will like that, and so will the child.
705100
Tell you husband you need more help when you are at his parents house.  Have him listen up and the next time your MIL directs concern to you he can jump in and handle it.  The other option would be for you to ask your husband to handle it in front of your MIL so she can get the message you are equally responsible for the kids.
960233
I try to keep my mother in law out of my relationship as much as possible,
621447
Here is arecent one.  My mother in law has been ranting and raving about throwing me a baby shower since January (Im due at the end of this month)  \n2 weeks ago she tells me that she doesnt have the money anymore and she would rather just take me to the store.  So I was dissapointed, but I had to deal with it.\nSo my sister in law ends up inviting some relatives over from my dads side of the family ( I am not even close with them, she just planned the event so that I would get some seriously needed gifts) She never met Danny's mom so she didnt even think of inviting her.  it was a small get together with under 10 people.. no big deal but a great gesture!\nSo long story short, the monster in law is not speaking to me now.  Mind you this was a surprise shower I didnt know until I walked in... not only is she not speaking to me but neither are his 2 sisters.  I could have the baby any second and I feel like this tension is not only unecessary but really hurt ful and mean. \nThere is my story!
298277
Sounds like to me you need to tell that busy body mother in law to unleash your husband from her apron strings,she sounds like she is your problem,of course your husband cant see this its his mom.Some men are always momas boy ,until they see it for them selves that dear old mom is breaking his home up .don't let her insult you ,let him get mad he has a life time to get glad.you are his wife and the mother of his children I'm sure you cook for clean house and wash his clothes so where is the respect you so much deserve.if mom is all that and then some maybe she should do all this for him.she sounds like a mean 2 face devious spiteful woman who is out to ruin your marriage.stand up to her don't let her ignorance ruin your home put her in her place and tell her to stay there.if your husband doesn't have the guts to tell her then its up to you.....
417877
If it was an older man and younger woman no one would bat an eye.  I say if your both happy, enjoy it and ignore everyone.  Life is too short.  Tell her if she doesn't let you see the grandson, the courts DO give visitation to grandparents.  Good luck to you.
778047
1st thing:  Breathe!  You'll get through this & have some great memories in a few years.\n\nNext, don't be embarressed for your in-laws.  It's not YOUR fault they are the way they are.  Your parents/family KNOW this. \n\nRegarding the kids, plan on doing a children's table.  2 reasons:  keep them seperate from the adults so you can have "grown up conversations" and you can use that same table for activities such as puzzles, games, crafts, etc. \n\nFor the menu:  Tell them that you had planned on traditional Thanksgiving dinner.  If they would like to make & bring barbeque, that would be great!  Then both families can share what they consider traditional.\n\nHave fun!  Remember this won't be the only time the families get together.  Make the best of it!
790245
Oh yay, parents.\n\nFact is, she has no bearing on what you and your hubby do in rearing your children (biological or not). You are the functional unit. Tell her that. If she doesn't respect it...reduce the time she is allowed to be around you two. Tell her that you love her, but you have to keep the best interests of your family at heart and she is meddling in business she shouldn't bother with. Tell her that she either stopps or you will have to disallow visits with the kiddos to keep their best interest at heart.\n\nGrandchildren are a privlidge not a right. \n\n\nShe is your momma and I know you love her. I hate it when this type of thing happens. She is jealous of something, maybe it is because she wants to monopolize your love or maybe she is just alone. Tell her you want to help her and have her be a major part of your life and your childrens life. Offer family visits to the psychologist. Grandparents are a blessing and I know I wouldn't be the person I am today if I hadn't have had my Dad's Mom and Dad involved in my life. However, it was a healthy involvement...\n\nI am sorry you are stuck in the middle. That sucks so bad.
848772
Well it is all up to your son to get through to her. He seriously\nneeds to sit down and have long talk with her. He is the father \nof his child and has every right to take his child to visit  both \ngrandparent. It would be different if the grandparents were \ncontrolling, then yes she can have a say so. If she is a compulsive liar, then it hard to believe anything they say, as you \nalready know. They believe in their own lies. It hard to bring them back to reality. It's are up to your son to put his foot down as the\nother parent. They live together and there should not be a one \nparent rule. I'm a Mother and a Grandmother and I only have 2\ndaughters, but one of them is married and if he was a controlling\nyoung man, then I would have a say so. You as a grandparent \nhave every right to see your grandchild.  You say already you \nhave spoken to her already, well you need to keep at it. Maybe she'll give in. For what ever reason she has and as you said \nshe is jealous of you then keep asking the same question, WHY.\nThat is Good that you don't interfere in their lives or tell them what \nto do, and that is what you need to keep telling her. Sit down with\nboth of them and tell them you would be happy to spend quality \ntime with your grandchild in the week-ends. I sure do hope thing\nchange for the better. I told my daughter if my son-in-law was\nto ever keep my grandchildren away from me, then I would\nseriously take them to court for visitation rights. She told me, I\nhad nothing to worry about. Our relationship between my son-\nin-law and myself was rocky in the beginning. But after our \nbig argument, he had found out it was his own mother that was\ndoing are the lieing and turning  the story around. So now I'm\ncloser to them, then his own family is. I help them with the children to where his family doesn't help at all. So I wish you\nthe best of luck.
670948
tell mom-in-law- to phuck off