Why can't my husband choose between me and his family and stick with it ?
829973
Make the choice for him and leave. Tell him you'll come back when he seeks therapy. You don't need this drama in your life.
240729
It takes two people to make a marriage work, and no matter how hard you try it is only you and it isn't going to happen.  I've been in that position before and in your heart your thinking there has to be something you can do to make it all better and to make them change their mind, but this is in the end just wishful thinking.  I think you need to go find a lawyer and start protecting yourself and your kids as soon as possible.  This guy is obviously a fool who is going to regret this choice some day but you can't wait for that to happen, plus you deserve a man who will love you and not cause you this kind of pain.  Your too good for him so move on and someday you find real love.
1080062
well sometimes we can't help who we fall in love with and believe me I fully understand your situation. There are several reasons why men that say they are unhappy at home won't leave, sometimes it's because they might be unhappy but the wife has no idea there is a problem. But sometimes there is no real problem at home and he just wants something more. What you do depends on how long you are willing to wait if you can't take it anymore then it might be time to move on.
658699
Congratulations!\n\nIt's perfectly normal to be nervous.  It's a big decision, but I'm sure that after 4 years, you know in your heart that you're making the right one.\n\nIt would be great if his parents get onboard with the idea, but if they don't, it their problem.\n\nThey have a choice to make, embrace you and welcome you to their family, or try to manage their son's life for him and risk alienating themselves from him, you and their grandchildren.\n\nYou can't make that choice for them, just as they can't make their son's choice for him.  Hopefully, with time, they will realize that.\n\nLife is too short for petty crap, honey.  You have your life to live and your bf has his.  You've chosen to live your lives together, and that's that.  His parents can accept it or not.  If they feel there isn't enough petty bickering in the world, then unfortunately, that's life.\n\nRise above it.  Be a good wife to your husband, a good mother to your children and live life to it's fullest and be happy.  Don't let other people pressure you.\n\nGood luck to you both.
879424
I hate my in-laws. They are always in my marriage. They expect my husband to cater to their needs and forget that he has a family on his own to take care of. I undrestand that he is suppose to help them but they call him for any and everything like when they went out of town they wanted him to stay in their house for two weeks without his family.
116053
mostly in-laws are hard to get along with each other.  some reasons are both sides are so insecure with each other.  u are in the center.  dont take her side or your family side be in the middle.  did u ever talk to your mom if she knows any reason why your wife is treating them like that?  u can talk to your wife and tell her that your family is not comfortable that the way she treats them.  but dont be sound like you are taking your family side.  she might freak out and start an argument.  its really hard if your family get invloved with your marriage.  sometimes u feel like u need to choose between them.  but i'm pretty sure u both love your family and your wife.  u dont want to hurt any of them.  u have to talk to them.  u dont have to leave your wife u just need to talk to her about that problem.
278352
I am currently in the same shoes as your husband.  It is tough when a man sincerely makes a change and tries to make good on promises especially if he hadn't in the past.  It seems that everything that is done in a positive manner is viewed as way of trying to influence the wife into coming back.  \n\nIf you can truly see that he is trying to change, but you are afraid of the pain then that is understandable.  Your feelings and "sanity" should be considered.  Here is the thing though, what are you doing to change???  Alot of times when someone is "done wrong", they feel that they didn't have a role in it.  Maybe you are the perfect wife, but I suspect that something that about you has played a part in your separation.  Not knowing your particulars, I would say work on making yourself a better person.  The change in you may make you understand the change in him.\n\nI sincerely hope that your husband has changed.  I hard when someone you love does not believe in you and the pain that is caused becomes unbearable at times.  But if he is fighting through all of that, maybe there is something about him that is redeemable.\n\nGood Luck and I'll pray for the two of you.\n\nWT
1094385
I am taking it that you are already married and feel the man is making choices that effect you both and he is unwilling to allow you to be his equal when it comes to making choices /decisions. \nIn this case the male or your husband shows signs of classic control - has in his mind set a woman has a place. often making you feel more like a child than a wife. \nShame there are still men out there like this. No advice here will aid you as dealing with how one has been brought up to believe, can not be altered merely by suggestive means.\nYour choices would be \na. Seek professional help - marriage consul \nb. adapt by acceptance - not recommended \nc. removal - divorce \n\nwhatever your choice I wish you the best of luck
619680
You don't have two personalities what you do have is a part of you that desires intimacy and affection. I think you are torn between your values and your emotional and physical needs. I have to commend you for your commitment to your marriage but how do you do it if he is so far away?  As much as you have all the best intentions I can't imagine having my husband in another country it would make me feel like i wasn't married. Does your husband have plans on coming home soon? If he doesn't and you do find the courage to separate from your husband it does not mean you didn't try to make it work or did something wrong. Unless the way you feel right now changes. If the need for an intimate relationship still haunts you, you have to seriously consider moving on so you can be whole again.
60528
Learn to be patient. If you are not married yet, I would suggest you to leave him. I know it is awful living with an inconsiderate man. But I honor marriage and think people should try their best to stay in their marriage in better or worse. So please learn to accept him the way he is. Anyway, it's your life and your decision. I won't respect you less if you decide to leave him. Wish you the best.
432372
Patience is a virtue, I always say. If you live with them I feel for you. Just a few things to remember, 1)if you love him then you will learn to appreciate and deal with the family that you married into. 2)Although, everyone disagrees sometimes try to bond with your inlaws and things will go better than being upset. 3)Get to know your mother-in-law as mother than just a mom but a friend or gal-pal. 4)Do something as a family together. Go out and do something that you all will enjoy.
578794
I hope you mean 'Why can't I marry someone I love?'\nBecause what I can see from your icon and your name. You family has already promised you to someone. If you decide not to follow through you will have put 'shame' or you have made your family lose face. If it is that situation, I know how you feel. I am not a piece of property to bargin with. That is why I know the anger/sadness you feel.
530189
If you both want to reconcile then do it - it doesn't matter if anyone approves.  What matters here is you, your husband, and your marriage.  Your family will learn in time to forgive him.  You need to also tell them that you have forgiven him and you expect them to forgive also AND treat him with respect.
807832
How much do you trust your husband to make the right decisions for your family??????........\nSupport your husband in whatever way he needs you to at the moment......you cant worry about how your in-laws feel about you......when they are gone, you will still have your husband and he will appreciate you standing by him....regardless of what happens....\nI fought a similar battle w/in-laws once upon a time...I wish i had just supported my husband....I wish i had understood that I could make it about me and my feelings (which I did)...OR I could have let him do whatever  he needed to do for his parents for him to be ok....knowing that our familys best interest was never  out of him mind.......(I did not do this) OUr marraige suffered ....Now I look back and see It was not worth it.....I SHOULD have trusted him.......He was trustworthy....\nThey never did like me.....but now thery are gone and it doenst matter....But my ex and I are still trying to come to terms with the fallout from that time(as well as other issue).....\nPICK YOUR BATTLES CAREFULLY..........some are not worth the war they will lead up to....
836183
Well, trying to tell his family that you have a problem sometimes may be a lost cause.  Why don't you have a serious talk with your husband.....\n\nMore importantly, I would distance myself from your BIL.  And, don't let him IM you and you don't IM him either.
1050031
REMIND HIM THAT YOU ARE NO LONGER HIS CHILD.... YOU ARE AN ADULT AND AS AN ADULT YOU ARE ABLE TO MAKE LIFE DECISIONS ON YOUR OWN .....TELL HIM THAT HE RAISED YOU WELL THOUGH.... THIS IS YOUR DECISION YOU LOVE HIM  BUT THAT IS WHAT YOU WANT FOR YOU NOW.... ALSO GIVE AN EXAMPLE LIKE MY RELIGION IS LIKE MARRIAGE YOU WOULD NOT WANT SOME ONE TO CHOOSE YOUR HUSBAND&#92;WIFE FOR YOU WHY WOULD YOU WANT SOMEONE TO PICK YOUR RELIGION.... SAME THING.... GOOD LUCK..... BE BLESSED
827083
Be strong and do not show emotion if they try to make you back down.  You have to live with this man, so its your decision and you have to live with it.  I am sure that your family only wants you to be happy.