is it right to stay with someone for the sake of the children or is it best to leave?
830022
Your dad must have really loved you and your siblings he is a saint for doing what he done and put up with stress with your mother.\n\nSometimes you have to sacrifice your happiness for your babies and thats what he did for you.\n\n50/50 i would think...anyway i hope this helps\n\neveryone has there reasons xxx
492877
Well, if both of you don't want to be in other relationships then its ok.  It's good that you both are looking out in the best interest of the children, but it will be harder for both of you to move on if you live together.
81816
IF THE PERSON IN QUESTION IS CONTROLLING YOU IN SOME ASPECT'S, THEN YOU NEED TO LEAVE THAT PERSON BECAUSE THE PERSON'S GOING TO WIND UP HITTING YOUR OR POSSIBLY WORSE.\n\nIF YOU'RE STAYING JUST FOR THE KID'S, THEN GOTO  AN AGENCY THAT WILL HELP YOU AND THE OTHER PERSON WITH THE PROBLEM'S THAT YOU BOTH ARE HAVING DUE TO THIS NATURE!\n\nTRY TO GET THEM TO GOTO COUNSELLING, MAYBE, THAT'LL HELP FOR YOUR RELATIONSHIP TO GET BETTER AND BLSSOM.
450115
If you honestly feel as if the relationship is something you can't handle, then you should get out. Just be sure that if you do decide to leave her, make sure she understands why you are leaving. You're leaving not neccessarily because of her kids, but because you aren't ready to be a father figure and you'd like to travel. Make certain she understands this and be sure to use "I" statements so as to not put her on the defensive side of things.
722623
Move to Australia... the best interests of the child are paramount... children have rights not parents.. they only have responsibilities.. there is no such thing as "custody" as it denotes ownership and children are not possessions.. there is only a resident parent and a contact parent and new legislation July 2006 will mean that there is a presumption of shared parenting on an equal basis....
169615
You should give to stay at free ur child
661295
Well, chances are that she will get custody of your daughter.  If you believe what Dr. Phis says, children would rather be from a broken home than live in one.  You never made a commitment to the girl, which I believe is wrong anyway, but I don't think using one another just for sex is a reason to stay in a relationship.  It has to be built on more than that.  Nobody can tell you what you should do, nor should they, but I think that you need to find love and commit yourself to a woman for life.  Good luck.
371852
there is no way you are going to leave and still keep the friendship . this man loves you and the kids ( that are not his) . you will some day wish you had stayed . good luck to ya ..
214240
Although you need to do what is right for your child you should be with (girl B)  If you stay with the baby's mom you will most likely end up in divorce or resent her for not being the one you love.  If you are only with her for the baby it is also not good for the baby.  Learn from your mistakes though and make sure you children do not suffer.
416505
If they are constantly fighting or even if there is just constant tension then that's worse for the kids in the long run.\n\nIf they are happier apart then it will be better in the long run for the kids. I just wish people would think more seriously about the state of their relationships before leaping into having children.
203029
You can be emotionally free of that person, but you will never be freed of the responsibility of the child you both made. You owe the other person respect as the childs parent, but nothing more. Tell him your relationship is over, and other than conversation about the child and the childs needs, you have nothing to discuss. Do not argue, do not meet anywhere. Drop the child off at his mothers when it's time for visitation and pick the child up there. You have to separate your personal life from him.
469516
Doing the right thing is doing what's best for the child.  Your child deserves a good life and if, as you've said, you can't provide her with that, you did the right and brave thing by giving her an opportunity to get a good life.  You're a better mother than most in your situation.  They keep their kids and then their kids grow up to resent their mothers and themselves for the life they have.  I think you should be proud of yourself, and since you still get to see your daughter, be honest with her about what you want for her.  She'll be proud of you, too!
1184467
i wouldn't stay married for the kids thats for sure. it doesn't do the kids any good, you are teaching your kids (by example) what love and marriage and relationships are all about and if you don't want better for them then stay, if you do want better for them lead by example. if the parents can keep the focus on the kids they can be children of divorce and not suffer horrible consequences. they do ok if grown ups act like grown ups and don't get caught up in childish games. being committed to the welfare of the children is totally  different than being committed to a marriage.\n\ndon't forget that they see you and your husband from a childs perspective, they have no idea what an adult relationship is about. i learned this when after divorcing my husband and i were both in other relationships, the kids loved each of our partners very much, but one day my son said he wanted us to live together again, me (thinking like a grown up) said i thought you loved val and jimmy (the bf and gf) they said we do they can come too! it was simply about having access to both of us and had nothing to do with us being a couple. duh, i probably should have figured that out sooner but i didn't.  in fact they don't even realize that you have a relationship with each other aside from them, its just not in their experience yet so they have no idea of its existence, depending on their ages of course. older kids can have it explained and i assure you that they want their mom and dad to be happy people.
602769
if he is controlling you need to leave. It is not good for you and  not good for the 3 kids.
901988
staying for the sake of the kids will not give them any benefit, as time goes on and your kids grow they will notice things arent how they should be and will in time feel awkward, and often end up rebelling against both parents, some even leave home asap, i know quite a few old school mates who had done this, growing up in the kind of environment that you have at home now.......
272144
I feel the only good reason for a divorce is for the welfare of the children.  Too many people stay together FOR the kids and they r the ones who suffer.  Sooooo divorce FOR the childrens sake!
244620
There is no doubt you should leave.  You need to because it is what is best for you and for your kids.  It also may be the only way he will reach rock bottom and truly work on his problems.  You and the kids deserve a life as hard as it may be that isn't lived around him and his problems.  You've given all you have to this marriage but he obviously refuses to give as much of himself.  You deserve more, and your kids deserve more.