Husband or Boyfriend?  How do I know if I'm making the right decision?
818802
I haven't read every response...... but for the life of me I cant see where ANYONE can fault you.... sounds to me as if you have given this ALOT of thought, and from the information you've given us- you sound VERY fair.......... IF in fact you and the hubby find your way back to each other- I can see you cutting all ties to the BF.  In my opinion- you have given your marriage TOP PRIORITY and a 2nd chance..... while alot of people these days are quick to just suggest a divorce.   Good luck- not for you, not for the bf, or hubby, or marriage:  Good luck for all parties involved.... because in the end... someone is going to come up short.
250237
Why is it a hard decision to make? Is it because you do not know which one is the right man for you, or is it because you are worried about your kid?\n\n\nIf you are worried about what is best for your kid, ask yourself this: Is there any reason that the guy you are dating wouldn't make a good second father? Something must have gone wrong with your child's father or else it seems like there wouldn't be another man in the picture to start with. If you have moved on, don't go back. That will always just be another extra tension in the relationship and it will not be good for any of you. Your child would be better off having 2 separate happy parents than 2 parents pretending.\n\n\n\nIf your kid is not the reason you aren't sure, then ask yourself this: Are either of these guys the right man for you? I have been stuck between a couple of guys before. I thought that I was truly in love with them and it tore me up every day to know that some day I would have to pick one. But after it was over, I realized something. I wasn't really in love with either of them. They had qualities that I loved, and they were both great men. But neither of them was quite right for me. When you find the right guy, the answer to your question should be obvious.\n\n\n\nTry this. Think hard about both guys. Take away any fears of "what if" you make the wrong choice or of your kids, friends, and family not approving. Now, ask yourself ... Are you and your child safe with both men? Are they emotionally supportive and loving toward both of you? And which one will make you feel the best about yourself?
205212
I agree, it's probably not the most logical place to ask "is it a good time to get married"... only YOU can answer that.  well, you and your boyfriend.\n\nYou are on the right tracking thinking about finances and feelings.  Continue to discuss things with your boyfriend.  Where will you live?  Does he have a stable job?  Does he have or want children? Do you?  When?  Who will care for them?  How will you raise them?  Discuss reglion.  How will this come into play with children.  Have your families met?  Do you have the same goals and values?\n\nMarriage is awesome!  It's important to really think about it and plan for it.  So while I may have teased you a little for asking "should I think about marriage"- I think it's good you ARE thinking and planning.  Go with the flow and let things happen naturally.  If it's the right time to get married/engaged, you and your boyfriend will know it.  In the mean time, start talking about goals and longer term plans with him.
61601
It is better to have someone who loves you than the one you love.\nHe'll look after you in the best possible way.\nHowever, it is you who have to decide finally. Take the best decision.
102268
You guys are married. TALK to him and find out what he thinks because they are really important to you. If there are disagreements, then you have to decide whether those disagreements are something that you can put up with and is your love for him and all his other good qualities makes up for it or not.\n\nIn response to your Additional Details:\nThis is going to sound a little strange but if you can't bring yourself to do what you want to do. That's okay. It actually is. And I am not being sarcastic here. What I am saying is, go with the flow. Sit on your unhappiness and frustration and let it simmer. One day down the road, when you have had enough and can't take it anymore, you will know the time to act, when you will have no hesitation, and no regret (well maybe the regret of not doing anything sooner, but better late than never)\n\nAnother thing, if he lets himself slide and the romance is gone, do you think he still loves you as much as he did before you get married? Some signs to take note.
578537
if iu was you i would, but that is totaly up to you. you are your own person and part of love is making the right choices. if your ready for that then go for it...if not then dont im sure he'll understand
533077
This is a situation that takes lots of time and consideration. I know what you mean I'm in the same boat. I'm 23 with 2 kids and I love my husband dearly, but there is one old boyfriend who makes my heart skip a beat but I know that we weren't meant for each other or things would have happened differently. You love your husband, if you didn't you would've left him by now. The only thing that's different now is the new guy. My advice to you is not to tear up a family of 3 years just because the grass looks greener on the other side, because it never is! Women are hopeless romantics and we would do almost anything to be swept off our feet and ride off into the sunset with prince charming on his white horse. But if you were to leave this man of 3 years what would be different with the new one? Three years from now will be the same story. You have to learn how to make things in your current relationship stay fresh and vibrant. You have to keep the flame burning. When a fire starts to die you just add more wood. Not wait till it burns out and then start a new one. Trust me, if both of you work at it and you keep open and honest communication between you and your spouse you will have a relationship that is almost unheard of now a days!
778693
If you feel comfortable enough to date and you know that your marriage is not going to get back together, then I say go for it. Only YOU will know the right time to get back out there and start dating. If you like a guy and want to go out with him... go for it. Your husband has moved out and will probably move on soon (if he hasn't already)... you need to do the same!
425360
Go with your heart. I am in a very similiar situation but we are madly in love with one another. If you are questioning whether you should move, you are not yet ready to do so.\n\nYou will know when the time is right.
310803
if your sure that he feels like he does for you, then you should defiantly go for it. Specially if you are sure that you cant work things out with your husband. your kids are old enough to understand at their age. Just be sure that you know what you want, so you can make yourself happy
585956
I think it is time to Chirp or get off the branch.  My wife and I had been dating for a while, I really loved her but did not ask her to get married.  She finally gave me a date by which to chirp or to get off the branch.  I chirped and it has been the best thing I ever did.  We have been married for many years and are more in love today then ever.  I would openly discuss your concerns with him and then let him know that you need commitment by say June 30.  If he doesn't make the commitment, move on to someone that truly loves you and someone that will make that commitment.  Too often, we stick with someone that we know is not right for us and then the years go by.  After it is too late, we realize that life is passing us by and we are in a relationship that is going nowhere.  I think people need to list the things that they want in a relationship/mate and then if after a few months they do stack up, they need to move on.  People really don't change much with time--if it doesnt feel right at first it probably wont get any better with time.   Good Luck!
1042040
Instead of him telling you that if that's what YOU want then go ahead and do it, which doesn't sound very convincing on his part to me, he needs to actually say directly that yes that is what I want to do too, not if that's what makes YOU happy because he isn't including himself in that equation and that kind of leaves him room to get himself out of it if he up and decides to take off before hand. So no I wouldn't make plans just yet not til you hear him say He is ready and wanting to and he buys you an engagement ring. Then if that happens you can probably be more sure of it being a true thing.
789087
The grass is always greener...  IMO, stick with your current boyfriend and forget about the first one. Or, stay single. Perhaps you aren't ready for a commitment with either yet if you are having difficulties deciding between them.  Goodluck with whatever you decide to do. :-)
931045
At the time you may not see it this way but my motto is "everything happens for a reason". You can't always see the reason at the time but later on you will look back down the road and agree. Don't stress the situation so much, both of you should talk about making compromises, and just go with the flow. Things will happen in due time and if its meant to be it will be!
360602
well,\nwhenever you feel the time is right. When ever you both sit down and feel like you are ready. You will both know when the time is right. Trust me in that i had the same predicament and when my now fiance and i knew the time was right we got engaged and then now are planning our marriage. Good luck
600177
Marriage is a huge commitment. It is very good that he cares about you enough to wait until he has everything together. 2 years isn't really that long, especially if you are young. It sounds like you have a good man on your hands. I wouldn't worry, he will ask you when the time is right. Don't pressure him, it will push him away. My only caution is, there may never be a 'perfect' time to get married. He may not have his dream job.. and as far as the house, i would wait until after marriage and buy one together. \n\nIf you don't feel that he's worth waiting for then get out now
64926
He has a right to know. That doesn't mean that he has a right to determine what you will do. I think that it should be a decision that you make together since it effects the both of your lives forever but the ultimate decision is yours. If it were me, I'd tell him and discuss the seriousness of the matter and make a decision together.