im going through a nasty divorce.  read on?
823480
A whole lot depends on what state you live in, whether police reports were taken, and a lot more info than you gave us (as voluminous as it was).  You do need a good lawyer.  Good luck
949566
honey I so feel your pain. I want to give you some advice and please read carefully. Do not waste one more moment of your life fretting over this woman. This situation will always be a thorn in your side if you let it. DONT LET IT. You said your not a hateful person but if you let it this or she will make you one. Trust me I have been married to a man for 10 years and his ex is the beast master GOG OF MAGOG.I finally had to let it go but it just about ate me alive before I realized. I became bitter, hateful, obsessed, you name it. It will hurt no one but you.
1023943
yeah .. sounds like you're ready ... \n\nYou might need some time to save up some $$$ of your own ( if possible )\n\nStart looking for a divorce lawyer ( I would highly recommend one if you have any kids, property, equity, loans, ... etc.... with him )
1066783
Ouch.  Sorry to hear.  Age doesn't make your parent's divorce much easier.  Things will be difficult, but try to stay neutral and take it one day at a time.  Give yourself permission to be hurt, disappointed, mad, etc.
376246
DIVORCE, so just b/c she does wrong you will too, word of advice, 1. two wrongs don't make a right and 2. Your going to bring yourself down to her level and I garuntee she will beat you with experience. You wanna-be PIG.
213507
check out your divorce papers \nmaybe your custody papers \nif there isn't either you need to file a custody suit
1087316
Been there. You didn't say how the ex feels about you. Why does she deny him seeing his child? Because I do not know if my answer will help if you don't have the same life I had. The ex hated me and didn't mind telling everyone she knew. She thought I was the root of their separation. I didn't even know my now husband at the time they 1st broke up. I had been going with him for about 5 months when I found out that he wasn't DIVORCED! So for that reason she used us being together as what was wrong with their relationship. She told everyone that Mike drank all the time and that she didn't trust him being alone with his son. When really it was a way to punch him for leaving her. The reason for not getting a divorce right away, he didn't want them to cancell their medical insurance. Dumb then...we played her game for many months. Then I started checking things out. He could get the divorce, keep insurance on his kid, pay child support (a must) and the court would let him have his son every other weekend. If she didn't produce the child..She could go to jail. So Check it out where you leave. Your man may want to make the divorce legal...Now to the other part of your question..Why does she have to be there..Just to piss you off more than likely. She will dress up and look great. As if to say..see what you are missing. Have him get a divorce..then the ball is back in your court. Only never be late on one child support payment..or you guess it..she would have him in jail..Again just to piss you off. Don't let her get you down. But, make him make a choice and get a divorce..or get the hell out now why you can.
293994
make sure you've done everything you could do to save your marriage.  Your kids need you and the hardest part of this divorce, if you go though with it, are going to be the effects it has on your kids.  It's understandable that things simply just didn't work out with you and your wife but just remember you two are not the only ones going through a divorce, you're children are going through it as well.  Make sure that you're there for them as much as possible and be the best dad that you can be for them through all of this.  Good luck with everything
677886
Find the best lawyer that you can afford. You've been screwed. Since there's obviously been changes in circumstances for her since your divorce, it seems to me that there are grounds for revision of the terms. But see an attorney. That's the best thing you can do now. He'll advise you completely.
51798
I agree with Dragon on this one.  Yes you are heartbroken and yes it wil take some time.  They say divorce is like death.  The processes of grieving are very similar.  The only difference is that the one that you love is still alive and kicking.  Take this time to examin what you want out of life.  Appreciate this time alone and do things that you could not do when you were married.  Enjoy the lack of nagging and complaining.  And enjoy that you can act as you did before you got married.  Time heals all wounds and with this time, you have the ultimate chance to reexamine your goals and proiriities in life.  Take it one step at a time and you will be fine.  I know the pain that you are going through and I know that it hurts.  But trust me, your heart well eventually stop bledding and once that happens, chances are you will see that one true person that you are meant to spend your life with.
528147
Of course you can move on.  And for your sake, I hope you do it real soon.  You were a whole person before you got married, and you still are a whole person now.  Depends on who has custody of the kids, as to how much you can change her bad mouth.  If you have custody, than head for the court, again.  If not, you are just going to have to "suck it up".  \n\nYou might check with a lawyer (yuk! hate to say that) or get legal advice, to see what your options are.\n\nMain thing is to be glad that she is living somewhere, and with someone else.  Let him enjoy her wonderful company, until she screws around with a new man.\n\nI have to say to you, be glad this jerk is gone.
384771
There is no room for being wishy washy here. This is not a dalliance. Bigamy and a child by another woman are too big for a marriage to overcome. You must do the following:\n\n1. Get an attorney. today.\n2. Secure your assets. Determine what major assets you have (bank accounts, investments, savings, retirement accounts, real estate holdings, etc.) and work with your attorney to keep him from draining the accounts and taking off with them. If you're not sure what accounts he has, you may be able to run a credit report on him to see what accounts he has outstanding. Again, use your attorney here.\n3. Immediately kick him out of the house and have him conduct all communication through your attorney.\n\nOn a personal note: this will be hard. In fact, it will be awful. However, many women have been cheated on and support groups do exist. Your attorney may have some referrals for you. Also try lookign up "divorce" in the yellow pages - I bet divorce support groups are listed there. Yours is a harsh case, but I'm sure you can find kindred spirts through these support groups. \n\nAbove all, be prepared to be stong when facing him. He'll be very sorry, no doubt. He may try to convince you to take him back. this is, of course, your choice. however, unless you want to live the rest of your life with his other ex wife and her child in your life (you can't ever get rid of a child) you should cut ties. It may be embarassing, it may hurt, but you can do this. \n\nGood luck and I'm very sorry.\n\nFollow up: As for $, talk to the lawyer. Your husband may be forced to map attorney's fees since he will be found at fault in the divorce.
1144538
Oh my dear lord.  You are in for a rude awakening.  Divorce is almost never cheap and it is almost never fast.  It is a horrific experience to go through and I'm sorry that you're going through it.\n\nThat having been said, the best way to do things is if you and your soon to be ex-spouse work together.  If there are no major conflicts and no major disputes over property or children, then you can get an attorney or paralegal to draft the necessary settlement documents.  \n\nGo to www.martindale.com for a listing of divorce attorneys in your area.\n\nGood luck.  You're going to need it.
90078
Wait until its final.Don't be in such a rush.That's probably why you are getting a divorce now,you need to take your time.
775213
Some you win, some you lose.\n\nYou have to try & put this behind you otherwise you'll end up going out of your mind. I realise it must hurt like hell but you can't change the situation.\nOther people will do things at times that if we allow them (situations) will totally screw up our heads. Right now you need to find a way not to let that happen.\n\nUnfortunately there's no easy answer to this, you will feel right now as if you've been totally & utterly betrayed & of course you have. Made all the worse because it's come from someone that you loved & trusted (your wife & Mother of your Children)\n\nI don't think the fact that she was already your ex when you found out makes it any easier for you because you were still together when she did what she did.\nThe worst thing in situations like this is that your future relationships will (if you allow them to) be tainted with distrust & scepticism. You may have to get help to sort this out for you (counselling) before you even attempt to embark on another relationship. Stuff like this tends to rear its ugly head (in our heads) when we least expect it to. If left it can almost take over our lives.\n\nI'm sorry that this has happened. Fair enough if a marriage has broken down or one partner has an issue with the other & things can't be resolved, then arrangements need to be made to split as amicably as possible. To go off & have an affair without sorting one way or the other the relationship we're already in is rank out of order.\n\nDon't let people change you into the slimy scum that they are. \nit will only make you unhappy.\n\nYou can pretty much be sure of this fact though, & that is, once the relationship your ex is now in hits the bumps that hit every relationship at one time or another, she doesn't have what it takes to sort things out properly & will be moving on to her next beau.\n\nYou can feel pity for the Guy she's with now that he can't somehow see that the way she's treating her ex husband & father of her Children, she will one day treat him.\n\nI wish you the best of luck for your future,
69003
Ask a local church for counseling and to be saved, that way, if he kills you, at least you'll have saved and can reload from the last checkpoint.\n\n\nSearch answers.google.com for the keyword "divorce". THis place is full of f*cking kids.
1089574
Sorry man... you married the wrong woman. It's either divorce or time for the wipe, and I don't mean physically.