Indecent proposal part 2?
828214
if yousleep with him for a milion, you are a gold digger, but is you sleep with him for 10 bucks you are a hooker. there is a difference you know, but not very much.
595352
Dear Sir, \n\nYou have been renting my vagina for the past six weeks. In that six weeks you have had liberal access to myself and my fine butt bobbing on your d<<k, and you have taken advantage of this opportunity on a damn near daily basis. That is great. I love sex and I love it more when it is a daily experience. However, over the course of these past six weeks, I have recieved only one "payment" in exchange for your many lovely gifts of pearl necklaces and the like. \n\nThis arrangement is simply not an acceptable one for my vagina and myself. This notice serves you with a three day period to pay up or get the fuck on. I want an orgasm. \n\nLook at this from my perspective, dear sir. I am a lovely little number. I do not smother. I come over late at night to fuck your brains out. I like the same movies as you. We laugh together, have a great time and in general have great sex. The lack of the finale on an occasional basis is understandable. The consistent nonexistance of it, however, will not do. You would not waste your time fluking me for six weeks if every time, save one lovely instance, you got really really really close, and then had to "hold it over" while I snored away happily after experiencing my earthshattering juicer, would you? No. I don't think you would. You would move on and take shelter in another, more "rewarding" location. \n\nI have been fair. I do not demand. I am a giving and tolerable lover. You can do whatever you want to me sexually, you know this from experience. I am not taking applications from other prospective tenants and I give you free access, 24/7. However, my tolerance wanes. The rules of tenancy are about to change. \n\nHere are a few final tidbits of knowledge. We have gone over them before. Perhaps you forgot. Again. Have a read. Have a re-read. But please, I implore you to take this seriously. This is a final notice. There are no exceptions. \n\n1. I do not "cum" from strictly intercourse. I never have. I don't rule out the future possibility, but please stop trying to be the "stud" whose dick makes me "cum so hard" every time. It doesn't happen. Please take a few minutes prior to your personal enjoyment to go downtown and see the sights. I provide a roadmap. I am vocal and have no qualms with telling you to "keep doing that, don't stop." You know this. From the ONE time you did it. Remember, you are not "jerking off." This is not "aided masturbation." I am not just "along for the ride." This is SEX, buddy. And women want to cum too. If I didn't, I wouldn't bother with fulcking you in the first place. Sure, I like to see you happy and love watching you cum. Its an enjoyable experience to sexually satisfy your partner. Try it. \n\n2. I rarely get on top. When I do - DO NOT FLIP ME OVER. This is just a rule. Don't do it. Lay back and enjoy the ride. \n\n3. Don't be such a gun slinger with the lube. If you touch my puss and its not dripping wet, lube is not the blanket answer to this problem. And no, I don't care if it does smell/taste like strawberries. I might care if that made you venture down south, but that has not been a tried and true outcome. Your hands, fingers, and mouth are welcome, invited even. I assure you, it is not a desert down there. You need to AROUSE your lover. Not DOUSE your lover. \n\nPlease, dear sir, do not take this as a rejection. Do not be discouraged. I have complete and utter faith in your ability to satisfy me sexually. Besides that, I really enjoy having you around in all other areas. You are funny. You are smart. You are sexy and educated. You DO NOT, however, give me an orgasm anywhere near as often as you should. You are in your thirties. You are not getting any younger. You should learn this now - women want a together, financially secure and stable man. Yes. That isn't a lie. However, women prefer solitude and
111594
The host of a fancy-dress party answered the door to find a middle aged man standing there completely naked except for a pair of briefs.\n"What are you supposed to be?", the host asked.\n"Premature ejeculation." the man replied confidently.\nThe host frowned, "I don't get it - all you're wearing is a pair of Y-fronts." \n"Exactly!" the man declaired, "I've come in my underpants!"
479592
It is with great trepidation I discuss the creation of the new nation.  It's current recreation is fornication which has lead to drastic dehydration and procreation.  We need to find a location for the re-hydration station as it's current situation is in need of relocation.\n\nI've done the paragraph and I am filled with humiliation at the state of my exultation.
351069
Theres stuff like that, but they are filed under Web Cams, im not sure about straight text. That would work though if you market it right, some people love a mystery. Or you can post a pic or something, i dunno, good luck, sounds like fun  XD
706646
Sounds very sexy to me.\n\nCoach
936038
go to michigan.gov. it's got to be on there somewhere. \n\nVote yes for proposal 2!!!
306240
where to start - first of all we need to have one on one time, no phones, no tv, no kids.  I'de dress up in kinky clothes and greet him (garter, stockings, high heels, lacy bra) serve him like i'm a waitress, conduct a lap dance.  Next i would take that mars bar off the counter and play withmyself with it. Eventually letting me taste it on his penis after he has *ucked me - so now you know what I was doing when i was playing iwth myself!\nhmmm i think this weekend ill turn that fantasy into reality, well may not the whole weekend, but a few hours of fun
280860
i looked at you questions and didn't find anything inappropriate in them. don't know why they'd mess with you. i've seen some raunchy stuff on here! good luck getting it resolved!
739148
hot stuff papa....but i think u meant get down on ur knees....tight and i like how u incorperated tlc extreme make over HOT!!! ur metaphors are sick man...good job!!!
1084671
Tell her your gay then strip naked and act like its nothing
959219
OOH.  I like Dhalia's answer.\nLets all get naked and dance!\nForget the secret code!
945316
Not sure!\nBut the idea....has me thinking....and is a very good one!
241216
Here's a start ask about where did i leave my remote control or what should i wear tomorrow or even ask if i have sex without protection will i have a chance to become pregnant or recieving a STD.There's a starter kit for you.-lol-
924051
Ok, I'm stumped if this is some sort of word play I cannot figure it out - would like to know the solution.\n\nIf this is a plea for help, contact your city or county for advice on child placement please. This is simply not a safe place for child placement.\n\nAnd if this is a joke - I'm concerned... wouldn't this fit better in /humor/tasteless? where it would fit into the, 'take my wife... Please!'.\n\nPeace,\n\n-dh
788305
I appreciate your wit.  The question is a good one. Neither God nor the state have any business in the bedrooms of the nation providing the operative words are:  CONSENTING and ADULT.
457777
I am not sure if it was a new one but it was a good one. The new partner, whatever his name is started dating a paralegal there in the office and she kept saying vagina to him. Like, "okay, dinner sounds great and then we can go back to my place and you can see my vagina". He thought this was weird and told her he couldn't see her anymore. Well, he was so hot for her that he changed his mind and she told him quietly in the inner-office that she wanted hin to say the word and he wouldn't so she said never mind and walked away. He was so sexually frustrated that he shouted out in the office in front of the other partners, "Vagina"!\nThat was only part of it but I have to go...sorry