My boyfriend's son is 4 and has hit/kicked me a few times. How do I talk to my boyfriend about this?
823354
Look, the little boy is spanking age, and he has apparently gotten little discipline with his Mom, so do this: talk to your boy friend and explain that the next time the little monster hits or kicks you, that you will hit or kick back, and then do it. The time for discipline is at the point of the offense. The kid will remember your hitting him and quit his perilous ways at least with you. If your boy friend does not want you doing this, he should spank the kid the instant it happens. If you are going to continue being around this child, your boy friend should understand that you will have to play guardian at times, and you should be given the weapon of self defense and an ok to discipline the little guy. Insist on it - otherwise, you will be miserable in his company. It is work to discipline little ones, but they will love you and respect you for it in the end. Good luck on taming the dragon.
650918
You have answered your own question...Its your public humiliation.  He knows what to expect from you in public as well as at home.  You need to be consistant no matter where you are.  Why are you calling him "a million times"?\n\n You may have to leave your cart in the store a few times while you go to the car to talk to him.  You may even have to go home without your groceries if he doesn't act approprately but it will be worth it in the long run.\n\nMy daughter had the same problem with her son at that age.  I can remember him being loud and saying no at a very busy restaurant on a Friday night.  She was too mortified to move  when everyone got quiet and turned to look at us.\n \nI picked him up and took him outside.  I firmly told him that if he would behave that we could go back in to have dinner with everyone else but if he acted up again that he would get a spanking and have to sit in the car with me until everyone was finished eating.  OR if he didn't want to go back in (didn't think that he could behave long enough for us to fininsh eating) then he could get a spanking and go to the car right then.\n\nHe chose to go back into the restaurant and finish dinner after he repeated to me what was going to happen if he didn't behave.  We had a wonderful dinner.
1075784
People who are abusive, whether it be physically, verbally, or emotionally, are number one, as a male, more likely to do this to a female.  Because they do not have the guts to go against a male.  And yes, they will come back and apologize, and then do it again, and apologize, and do it again, and apologize, and do it again, and apologize, and do it again, and apologize.  See a patten here?  People like that, depend on the kindness of others, to not go up against Them, and to demand that this type of behavior be stopped.  When You say a special friend, if You mean abusive, You are correct.  And You are not doing them any favors, by allowing this to continue.  His self esteem is real low, and chances are more likely than not, this stems back from His Childhood.  And there is also a reason in Your past, that allows this to seem like the norm.  Doesn't mean You can't try to help Him, You just have to be out of harm's way to do so.  He needs some Anger Management.  That is where I would start.  And Be Careful, this is only going to escalate, get bigger, larger, more difficult to handle, intensify, go awry.  Don't set Yourself up for a life like this.  If Your a Minor, get your Families assistance.  You have to shine light into the darkness, unless You want to be left in the dark, alone, one day, to deal with it by Yourself.  If You think that I am being overdramatic, don't do anything, let things stay the same way, and then write us back in a couple of months, if You can.  I have worked in this area, for many years, where this is almost an every day fact of life.  Some get lucky, some don't.\n\nGod Bless
1031280
YOU are the parent - explain to your son that you won't apologize or buy him a gift for having to correct him for his misbehavior.\nExplain - without letting anger into your voice or body language - that when he does something wrong you will correct him. Then tell him that if you do something wrong (punish him incorrectly) then you will apologize if you owe it to him. DO NOT let him guilt trip you into buying him gifts or apologizing for correcting him. Kids need boundaries & they need to learn the consequences of their actions & the sooner you teach him, the better he will be. You correct him for his own good, not because you like to do it! \nGood luck & stick firm to your position - HE is the child, YOU are in charge!!
1000107
I think you should talk to your parents and your boyfriend and remind them they both love YOU and out of respect for you, they need to act civil towards each other. Them fighting hurts you and only you.\n\nAs far as taking sides, make your own opinion about what's going on and stick to it. Maybe they'll start to see things your way.\n\nI know it can be very hard getting along with boy/girlfriend's parents, especially if one or both is convinced they are always right to the end of the earth. My boyfriend had to finally put his foot down and demand they be civil towards me. But at the same time, I also had to prove myself to them by working hard and showing I treated their son right.\n\nDon't take sides. Be your own leader and let them follow.
730192
First, I want to tell you that your son hitting the teacher is very wrong. I am myself a teacher and I have a students threaten me and insult me. It upsets me. I became a teacher with the desire to make a change in the life of the young people that I meet on a daily basis. \nThe teacher did not have direct physical contact with your son, therefore he didn't not touch him.  He probably tried to prevent him to get in trouble. Your son has rights under the IDEA act. There are organization in every state to help with special and legal problems. I wish you good luck. I will enclose a few links. \nSome schools will argue that a student that has ADD does not qualifies under IDEA but you can make a case that if he has a lot of anger, upset or emotional crisis he does. You need to search under IDEA and your state and advocacy. I feel that if a student hits a teacher or another student, there is definitely a cause for concern. I know that you love your son and that you want what is best for him. Don't blame the teacher because he already got hit, don't blame your son because he is filled with anger and that won't help. Search for a good therapist and work through the issues. It is not your fault, the fact that you are asking us this question means that you love him and that you care. \nGOOD LUCK!
1065428
I can understand what you are going through. The first call I made was the day my granddaughter was born. My daughter was using drugs and leaving the baby with whoever would take her for days at a time. Everytime I called to report her, I was told that they would have to catch her in the act. Even though she had been caught in the act on more than one occasion, the baby was not taken from her until she was ten months old. That was almost six months ago and now I'm fighting the foster care agency and child welfare. There are times that I wished I had never made those calls because now my grand baby is worse off than she was with her mother. She's been moved ten times in five months and has developed a fear of men. \n\nNot being a blood relative, there is little you can do legally but you can be supportive of your boyfriend.  He will need an attorney to get through this tough time. Perhaps you can suggest to the daughter that the two of you would be willing to keep the children until she is in a better position. I found out the hard way that attacking my daughter for her abusive behavior made matters worse. I finally accepted her the way she was and she slowly started to see that what she was doing was harmful. We are now working together to get the baby placed in my home and our relationship has blossomed.\n\nThere are many resources online that may help you. Try a search on kinship care and grandparent's rights in your area. I wish you all the best.
733099
sounds like the two of you have grown apart. to keep a relationship strong, you have to spend time together and he needs to spend time with his son as well. I'm sorry for your situation but if this continues, maybe you need to move on and find someone who will put you and your son's feelings first. love is putting the other person first.
581582
tough love, it will be hard but its time your baby boy grew up, kick him out... he will learn in a hurry
1087418
Does she know you have children? If so, then anytime would be a good time. Try to make sure the situation isn't so akward for your son or your new partner that they want to get away. Your goal should not only be making a proper introduction, but also trying to set up a certain level of comfort for everyone involved so that you, your son, and your girlfriend can all get used to and closer to one another.
892475
go to counseling with or with out him all men are not like this he sounds very selfish and I know you are angry and want to strike out but believe me the verbal assault doesn't help at all. when it's to that point it is time to move on if counseling doesn't work. this is a terrible atmosphere to bring up your kids in and will affect them for life
1082624
Is your boyfriend in a union? This should be your first point of call if not try going to your local citizens advice bureau. Tell them you have a bullying issue. They will be able to set you on the right track.
765600
GET OUT NOW!!!!!!!!! that is an abusive relationship and what you are doing by pushing him is self-defense.i would get pissed to if someone would smash me across the room.please move out because he is abusive and might kill you one day by throwing you.What happens when you guys have kids one day and he does that to your kids?think about that.good luck!!!
670046
Listen honey I have been in a bad relationship myself and know where you arecoming from you have to stand up for yourself and move on you say you can't leacve Why? they have got you to the point where you are wallowing in self pity just as they like you. What is happening here is domestic abuse and it has to end before you end first. For your childrens sake leave him if he don't like it tell him where to go ****himself or tell him if he loves you to stand up to his family for you though from the sound of it he is week as s**t no man should ever allow anyone including his family to run you down. I wish i could do more for you but sadly I can't if you need to chat though send me an email and I will keep chatting and offering no strings advice I am a voluntary member of the samaritans and will make timwe to chat if you need me.
275600
he is a guy and your brother. i have an older one and three little ones. hate to break it to you, but there is not a whole lot you can do about it, but just dont indulge his behavior and be sure that he sees it is not mature.
756948
Be the smarter person and walk away form it.  I told my son never start a fight but don't let anyone get the better of you if they physically try to hit you first. In other words never start a fight but finish it if you are forced to defend yourself.
657908
WHOOP HIS ASS AND TELL HIM TO CALL THE COPS IF HE WANTS TO,HELL GO TO JAIL FOR CHILD ABUSE,THE UNJUST BASTARD.TELL YOUR MOM OR STEP MOM YOURE TIRED OF IT AND SEE WHAT SHE SAYS,SOUNDS LIKE HE PROBABLY HITS HER TOO- DOESNT HE.SO WHIP HIS ASS FOR THE SAKE OF YOUR MOM,BROTHER AND MAINLY FOR YOUR OWN SAKE.FUCK HIM UP GOOD TOO.CRACK RIBS AND ALL THAT.