when a man has feelings and he is away fro his wife how to control the pain he gets in his organ?
817595
umm... masturbation if it's the organ i think u mean... if u have sex quite often, the body gets used to generating alot of sperm... so when he leaves, it still generates it, and when there's no ejaculation, it builds... and causes uncomfortable cramps... try slowing down on the sex about 3-4 weeks ahead of time... and wear loose pants and underwear (in that area)...  other times, it could just be the fact that his "organ" is not ummm... free lets say that... when wearing tight underwear, or sitting to long in an uncomfortable position too long this happens to men....
525692
i undesrastand what you are feeling... i have the same problem... i won't say that you can get rid of it that easily, but it would help it if you talk about it with your husband.. i have my GF living abroad and can't see her or talk to her much, and i can't tell you feelings i had... but just once i decided to tell her and just that helped me feel good and safe... \ni know you care so much about your husband and that's great... so try to talk with him... he'll help you out deal with that. and just the fact of telling him will help you.
1018180
honestly i know how u feel, but trying to "control" the situation, that iswhat u r doing, will only make mattersworse, shewill go into further rebellion, and things in the marriage will go down hill.   part of Love is free and what holds it together is trust (and God) but if you don't have either of these it will never last.  you need to let her do her thing( not saying im choosing sides)  but if you let love go and its true love it will come back.  if you smother and squeeze it, it will flee from you.  as hard as it is, you need to give her what she needs (space and freedom) she is in the wrong ( married people do not belong at BARS).  LET GO OF THE REIGNS bite your tongue, and tell her go ahead (just pray when shes out that she will come to realize its not the place to be. good luck
775666
The hurt will be there for a long time, but not forever. Like anything, this just takes time. There are things that you can do which will make this process longer, things like staying indoors day after day with the curtains drawn and your duvet wrapped around you listening to coldplay. By all means let yourself feel pain, don't bottle it up, but don't wallow. If you feel you need to cry then cry, but you have to give yourself some happiness too.\n\nMake plans for every day, hang with friends or set yourself projects to work for. Keep yourself occupied and let yourself have a good time. Of course you'll still be thinking of him, but he won't be all you think about and gradually that pain in the pit of your stomach will get smaller and smaller until one day you wake up not hurting at all.\n\nWe've all been there, unfortunately it's all too often the down side of experiencing real love. Don't ever think you're alone in feeling like this, and although you might be frustrated and think that the feeling will never go away, it will.\n\nGood luck Xx
905094
Feelings are funny things.  They can be there one day, fade the next.  There is a lot that goes into feelings that human's don't understand.  The experts think it's a combination of things, including pheromones, the way someone looks, the way they act and behave, and people's receptivity to a relationship.\n\nI have been in love many times, and the feeling has almost always faded after a while.  With my wife, the feelings have not faded, they have grown deeper, if not more intense.\n\nIf you still have strong feelings for the person, don't fret over it, and enjoy your time together.  If either of you feel whatever you have fade, that's okay.  You can't force your heart to love someone--you either do or don't.  It's rarely personal, so if your feelings are still strong and his fades, be grateful for the time you've spent together and move on.  If your feelings start to fade, let him know, be grateful for the time you've spent together, and move on.\n\nEither way, enjoy what you have!
227769
go slow and be very gently with her...i have the same problem..me and my guy...he takes his time and loves on me when he inserts to help take my mind off the pain...don't be too anxious...slow is the key...
1065690
Anger, like any other emotion, is specific to the individual.\n\nIf you can understand the thing that sets your husband off, you can probably figure out how to remove that thing.\n\nSometimes - in men especially - anger is a very superficial emotion that covers "hurt" and "sadness".\nperhaps what your looking for is there.
284032
I warn my husband about this all the time.  I feel me and him don't have a deep mutual understanding of each other.  You know how with some people you have that love and understnading and emotional connection and with others you don't.  he and I don't have that - thought we did but we rushed into the marriage.  I keep telling him that if he continues to be that way - he complains and argues about everything that I am interested in and criticizes me for the way I do things ..doesn't understand the real me. We just doesn't have that real true love "connection" as your wife calls it and "emotional" understanding for one another ... he has no idea what i mean when i explain this to him; I tell him he's gonna be the guy that 10 years down the road the wife will say "i want a divorce" and the entire time he would never see it coming and would wonder "where did I go wrong - i thought everything was fine" ... but you know what .. I commend you for reading books and seeing a counselor.  I try to read books about this stuff to my husband and he gets mad and defensive or he'll just ignore what I'm reading to him.  If she doesn't give you that chance to work it out then she is just fed up and there is no hope.  Give her a little more time - although she probably feels less hurt becasue she knows you are still wanting to be with her so she's not scared about this time apart.  If you were to act like her and accept it - then it would scare her.  When I threaten to leave sometimes and he is beggin for me not to, I feel the urge to leave even more because I know I have the upper hand and he's wrong.  But .. if he would act like he wouldn't care for ex: one time he said "fine I'll pack your bags for you" I felt really vulnerable and hurt but it scared me ... and we ended up making up instead of me leaving.   Take everyones advice - just take it day by day - you'll be fine and she'll come around - if its over just let it go .. use what you have learned to help you out later.  Just note that women need emotional attention and understanding- we are weird like that.
586199
Get over it, deal with the pain, and move on! I was married to a woman for 25 years, and one day when I came home from work, she had moved out and moved in with another man, just like that. It hurt  like crazy, but I dealt with the pain, and moved on. Never been happier in my entire life!!!
409029
Love isnt really the question here.  Often a man can feel self concious because he doesnt know what to say or how to comfort the woman. Once you get to the point where youre both comfortable with it: able to talk about it without feeling awkward, things will probably get back to normal.  If you want to see things from his point of view, think of how you would feel if he had a testicle removed.  Unfortunatly, some superfical men can take a "damaged goods" attitude.
491150
This is called anticipatory grief. You realize that you will be losing him some day and you are already trying to cope with the impending reality. This is just one way people cope. Others only grieve after the loss of a person.  As you hinted, you don't want your anticipatory grief to interfere with enjoying him while he is with you now. Knowing that and feeling that are two different things. Do the things that are good for your relationship with him now and feel free to feel your feelings (don't suppress them or be afraid of them) because this is your way of coping. Once you take the taboo off of your feelings and still do the things that make for a full and satisfying relationship with your father in the present, your feelings should start to lessen in intensity.
137270
If you are terminally ill dying soon, then they will allow him to stay home, give him sufficient time to get the kids to where they need to be while he deploys. If you get seriously ill while he's gone, meaning a serious surgery or life threatening injury or diagnosed that you will be dying soon, then they may send him home. It all depends on his command and how seriously ill the wife is. They check it all out before acting on anything. I know a few wives who wanted their husbands home so bad they acted up all kinds of things, one including putting herself into a nut home etc...it's crazy what people will do...it's sad as well...pathetic. Not saying that's what you are doing at all because there are those who are seriously ill who do need their husbands home but, life must go on regardless...what's any different than a single woman getting ill with no one to take care of her. Whatever you do, don't let your husband leave feeling guilty, let him know it's okay...let him know you'll be okay..you want him to have 100% focus!!!!
395837
What goes around comes around but we are not responsible for bringing it back around, that will only cause us to loose our spirit and balance.  Their cheating is not worth our loss of spirit.  What is inside us is all important.  This man will suffer in the next life.  Let go.  Nurture your pain by taking an art class, planting orchids, mediatating to beautiful music.  You matter and the evil in the world won't go away, it is an integral part of it.  You only separate yourself from it by being strong, separate in your mind of it, and remaining compassionate.
773020
As a physician, I advise letting him adjust to himself. It may sound cruel but it is his world and he must adjust. Let him fumble around (in spite of heartaches on your part) but he has a life ahead of him and you won't always be there to be his guide. He may feel frustration and anger at the bad hand that Nature dealt him but only he can put things back together for himself.
431034
No, to be honest, nothing you can do, my hubby's in the army been gone for four months and won't be home till January of 2007....and my heart aches everyday and I still haven't found a way to stop it..sorry, God bless
523080
This means he has been hurt and does not want to face that pain again.\nFear holds people back from a lot of things in life \nFear creates Jealousy so much when it is built up then creates Anger, Violence then Hatred and then before you know it, the relationship is over.\nMen do hold pain in because women are so emotional and men could not bare for anyone to see them like that \nSo they tuck it in, take a breath and try to look brave.\nTalk about feelings and emotion can make the relationship feel that little bit closer ; )\nHow far would we all go through life if fear held us back.\n\nLove & Blessings \nMilly
619782
Well first i would say that talking to him is all fine and well, but if you are not feeling the love he should relize this without haveing to talk to him about it. I trully believe that it would be nice to mention it to him but he overall reason may not be solved by just talking. If he is not makng you feel loved there is a real problem, and the harsh reality is that if someone comes along and starts paying you a little more attention than your own husband it may lead to problems.I trully believe that if a husband truly loves a wife unconditionally he will never have to have his wife feel not loved, if she does then he is not a good husband.Sorry if this sounds pretty rude but i like to be foward. I would close in saying that you will have to love your self first and if he does not appreciate you then he dose not deserve you.