Help me with being shy please?????
820246
the only one that has to accept you--is YOU!!  remember, carpi deium! sieze the day!  besides what is the worst that can happen?  I used to be shy myself, now I get out there and try, come to think of it, I would not have my wonderful kids if I stayed shy\nalso, (just a thought)\nfind a councelor or confidaunt to talk out these feeling with and help you release the fears burned into your mind.  I have PTSD from sevier abuse as a teen,  I know what it is like to suffer a trama that scars the mind as well as the body, and I see my councelor regularly.  there is no shame in such things.
214006
Shyness is just the insecurity of ones self. Be confident and sure about yourself. If you aren't no one else will be either. Learn to trust yourself as well as love yourself. You be fine. GOD BLESS
690005
Shy is really sweet, unless it becomes an obstacle to conversation.  I've been with people with whom casual conversation is like pulling teeth, and it gets tiring.  Those of us who enjoy conversation appreciate someone who can help hold up the other end now & then!  :)
115525
Katie, don't expect to go from super-shy to outgoing all at once. Take baby steps and stretch yourself just a little bit at a time. Practice just smiling at people. Say hello to just one stranger a day as you pass by them. Ask a sales clerk a question, even if you don't really need to. Tell a girl you see that you really like her shoes, hair, nails, etc. - when you see that you get a positive reaction to being friendly, it will encourage you to do it more often. Just remember, not everyone will be open to you because they might be shy, too. But most people are willing to at least smile and say hello to others.\n\nTry some volunteer work - start at your local animal shelter if you feel more comfortable around animals than people. Animals love you unconditionally and can really help bring a shy person out of their shell. If it's possible, and you don't already have one, you might even consider getting a pet yourself. Other volunteer work is also helpful if you're allergic to animals or something - go help out at your local food bank, soup kitchen, homeless shelter, etc. \n\nWorking with people is really important if you want a good job. You have to be able to impress employers during interviews and you have to be willing to stretch yourself beyond your comfortable boundaries. Good luck! :)
982492
Don't worry about it, a drama class it the best place to be to get rid of your shyness, your teacher should be able to show you techniques to help with your shyness and your probably not the only one in class who's shy, stick with the class and be brave.
838154
you must get out of that shyness thing. it will get you no where in this world we live in.  "grow balls" so to speak.  good luck\nbesides the worst he could say is no.....right?
1178197
I assume you are pretty young.\n\nFirst, don't worry about being shy with girls.  Stay friends with the one you mention but don't feel that has to be a romantic relationship.  That friendship should help you overcome your shyness, and--if her status changes later on--you might be in a good position to build a more romantic relationship.\n\nDon't worry about the one that blew you off.\n\nMany girls are shy with guys.  There isn't that much to either guys or girls to be shy about.  Friendship can always work.  Don't ask for more unless you're sure.
147455
ptoms of shyness\nblushing \nheart pounding \n"butterflies" in the stomach \nstrong feelings of uncertainty \ndifficulty carrying on a conversation \nPossible causes of shyness\nlack of confidence (ok... that's too obvious) \ninferiority complex (you are a creature of GOD, why would god discriminate in his creatures? think about it... and stop feeling inferior) \nyour thinking pattern (of negative thoughts, so fear creeps in, and your subconscious mind reacts according to that) \nlack of knowledge about the expected behavior in social situations \nsometimes, its based upon your previous experiences \nFirst of all you will need to learn how to relax. Shy people often get anxious or "tensed" in social situations. When I say "tensed" I literally mean it. In social situations, where you feel shy; you get tensed up, your muscles tighten, all of your body literally builds tension (like if we stretch a rope). All you have to do is to loosen yourself. Anxiety Cure\n\nThis may help:\n\nEvery night before sleeping lie down on your back. I will recommend removing the pillow. Put your hands beside your body (so that they point to the feet). Now take some deep breaths. Say to yourself my body is getting relaxed. Imagine all of your body parts going into the state of ultimate relaxation one by one. Start from head to toe. Imagine all the tension in your muscles is getting out from your body through the fingers of your hand. Finally all of your body is completely relaxed and you are experiencing ULTIMATE RELAXATION. At this time imagine a golden light which is giving you infinite power to help you succeed in every aspect of the life. This way you will get a very sound sleep also. \n\nNow again coming back to social situations... if you start getting tensed... just say to yourself "RELAX" and imagine all the tension easing out from your body (as you do while sleeping). Ease your shoulders and loosen up. You will be more calm and cool then. Now say affirmatively to yourself: "I am in control of how I think and feel - no one else on earth has this power unless I give it away." And this is a FACT. In this way, take control of your attitude, and you will take control of your results.\n\nNow the technical stuff explaining why the muscles get tensed\n\nWhat happens in our bodies when we are under threat. It's very much chemistry. When subjected to a threat or fear, such as real conflict, your body will release chemicals to help you fight with the situation. These will affect your body and mind in certain specific ways. Your heart beat will increase. You start loosing control over your tongue. You no longer remain who you actually are. Your mind stops working and you know what to say. \n\nThe SOLUTION - How to loose fear?\n1. Let me make it clear... FEARS HAVE NO REALITY (yes, I am shouting). They doesn't simply exist. They exist only in one's mind. I will make it clear. A small child can be paralyzed with fear when a playmate says there is a monster under the bed who will grab him in the night. But when the parent turns on the light and shows there is no monster, he is freed from fear. The fear in the mind of the child was every bit as real as if there were really a monster there. The thing he feared did not exist. In the same way, most of our fears have no reality. They are merely illusions. \n\nMost of the fears exist more from PROGRAMMING than from reality.\n\nOk... let me tell you an another story when I was young (say, 15 years old). I didn't know driving. I had a fear in my mind that I can not drive and will not able to drive for my entire life. I really feared driving. But, then I started to learn driving. I used to drive very slowly, fearfully. But gradually, I learnt to drive perfectly and all of my fear was gone. And now I can drive as rashly as you can imagine without any troubles or fear. So what we learnt from this? What we learnt is that... we should face the fears
611721
There are alot of shy people, but yours seems to be extreme! Anyways, what you need to do is to face your fear - shy people are usually afraid of one thing or the other.  Maybe you are scared of saying the wrong thing in front of people, or tripping over your shoes while passing under the stares of people.  Either way, its a fear, and you need to face it.  When you are in public, take deep breaths, count 5 seconds between each breath.  You  need to look at yourself in the mirror each day and say: "I am not scared, I am confident! I will not fall, I will not say the wrong thing" and so on and so forth. You need to speak to yourself all the time when you feel nervous. Say things to encourage yourself as you would to a friend who was shy too.  It will take a while before you overcome it but you will eventually.  If you love yourself, you will be more confident. So love yourself (e.g.take care of your appearance) and your confidence will come naturally.  You should also pick up books or read the internet on issues regarding anxiety, nervousness and shyness.  They will give you practical and maybe medical ways to help you.  And dont worry too much - you are not alone!
626046
im a very shy person and id never tell him that. i suggest you to tell your best friend to tell him or send him a note and if youre shy like me, tell him to keep it a secret
112097
How can you be sure that they don't like you if you are really shy?  You have to try to be happy with yourself - find things you enjoy and show people and yourself that you are enjoying your life and they will want to join in too.  \n\nIt's hard to get over being shy, but it will come in time.  You are a beautiful person, please remember that.
944949
I had been shy but I am not shy now yet, I am quiet like you so being shy is different from being quiet. I think when you have not something to talk and do not talk you are not shy and you can call yourself absolutely normal. but it sometimes occurs to me(us) that I want to start conversation with a stranger (or even a familiar person) but I can not. I think these times I am afraid not to have a good impact on him/her and be rejected. this fear is because of low self esteem  which roots in painful experiences in the past(you may remember when expressed yourself, they laughed at you).\nNow, I hope these tips be helpful for you:\n1-in such situations where you want to start a conservation, remind yourself that the pain of rejection is far less than the pain of regret. \n2-try to be a starter. do not wait for others to make conservation. I think, being a starter requires social skills which you may have not enough of it. but, the only way to acquire skills is experience .you would fail in some of these experiences and it hurt you but remember; "NO PAIN, NO GAIN".\n3-Read some books about "First Impressions". they help you to rise your self esteem.\n4-do not label yourself as shy. when you repeatedly say "I am shy" accordingly you will act like a shy person.\n5-Look at talkative persons. they usually do not care about what they say and what the effect is.I think it is better not to be too much worried about our expressions.
942705
You really have to be an extrovert around shy guys and bring us out of our shells. We may have the major hots for you but unable to articulate that emotion into anything less than senseless jibbering when you are around. Ask the guy out- be bold, go do something together that puts you in close proximity without feeling like there is alot of pressue. Some guys will respond and there is room to grow and some guys might not. Believe me, if he likes you you should start to see him melt-but keep at it if the feeling is returned!\n\nGood luck!
676484
As they say practice makes perfect. Just try casually talking to different girls and see what happens. You could also try joining a club or something that alot of girls are in so you can be more socialized and to face you fear of shyness.
71156
Tips For "Shaking Your Shyness"\n\n1.Conversation topics-never leave home without them.\n2.Let people know you're shy.\n3.Reward effort not outcome!\n4.Make things easy for the other person.\n5.Pick one social skill to practice at a time\n6.Take classes \n\nConversation Topics-never leave home without them.    Good conversationalists are rarely at a loss for words because: 1) they do so many things and go so many places that they have lots to talk about or 2) they prepare.  Good conversationalists never leave home without something to say to the people they think they'll be seeing that day.  If they're going to a party, they brush up on topics of interest to the people they know will be attending.  Before returning to work on a Monday, they think about the activities their colleagues had planned for the weekend.  They brush up on current events, the weather and anything else that might be the small-talk they need to get a conversation going or to keep it going.  Never leave home without at least a half-dozen things to talk about.\n\n   2.\n\n      Let people know you're shy.  This is a controversial subject.  Some people recommend that you never tell people you're shy, because people will use that information to label you.  Then again, if you avoid people, look down instead of making eye contact, stammer and stutter or turn three shades of purple when you're uncomfortable in social situations, people are going to draw conclusions of their own and odds are they'll be less favorably impressed with you than if you just tell it like it is---that you're nervous or feeling shy.\n\n      I think the problem arises because there are two ways to be shy---the obvious way and the not so obvious way.  The obvious way to be shy is to blush, tremble, twitch or otherwise physically manifest your shyness.  The not so obvious way is to avoid eye contact with people, not have much to say or decline offers from others you'd like to accept, but that are too far outside of your comfort zone for you to feel comfortable attending. \n\n   3.\n\n      Reward effort not outcome!   Memorize this one, because it's absolutely critical for conquering your shyness---or anything else you want to master, for that matter.  The only thing we can control in our life is our self---and even that can be a stretch sometimes.  We can't control other people and we certainly can't control how other people react to us and the things we do.  Nevertheless, most of us define our successes and failures by the way other people relate to us.  If we smile and they smile back, well good.  But if we smile and they don't smile too, we see it as a failure.  WRONG!!!   You won't get very far that way. \n\nIn fact, at least  in my book, what you did was a smashing success.  You tried.  You made an effort and that's all you can be responsible for.  You can't control how other people respond to you.  Sure, you can look back on your effort and speculate about things you can do to improve your performance next time, but at that very moment--at the precise time that you smiled, you made an effort and it's your effort that needs to be rewarded.\n\n   4.\n\n      Make things easy for the other person.  This is a tuff one, because as shy people, most of us are too busy worrying about ourselves---about how we look, what we say and whether other people will like us--- to stop and think about what we can do for other people.  But really, that's what being social is about---the other person, not us.  Dale Carnegie knew that.  He built a career on teaching people how to make other people feel good.  In his book How to Win Friends and Influence People, he lists principle after principle for putting people at ease and helping them feel special.   \n\n5.Pick one social skill to practice at a time.  You don't need to become a social butterfly overnight--and it's unlikely you could if you tried.  What you can do
329573
I am a shy person too, and most shy people want u to take it slow with them and don't push thing to far. Talk to her\nas a friend first and see what she enjoy. You might have something in comment with her and you may hit it off. Don't rush nothing
870807
Hi, Shyness was my problem for a long time--what got me over it actually was going to law school--its not a place for a shy person.  Even college afforded me anonymity and an ability to get by without "being noticed."  My loss too.\n\nI'm not saying go to law school to cure your situation, but you have to do something extremely hard--just keep putting yourself out there.  Don't try too hard, don't act desperate, because people sense that.  You just have to force yourself into social situations and be yourself.  The rest will come by itself.  IF you have a friend who is at ease in social situations, play second banana to that friend for awhile....that person will be a magnet for others, eventually you will make friends who will be accepting of and responsive to your views and thoughts. \n\nOther possibilities--take a class that requires an oral presentation, take a public speaking class.  Take a class that requires collaboration with others, that will assure that you mix with people and that you have to share your views--since they took the class too, they will be open to you and just as vulnerable as you.\n\nThe key is to keep trying, you have to overcome it at each step, the nerves of entering a room full of people, the stress of trying feel and look natural when nobody seems to be paying attention, learning the art of knowing how to interject with a comment at the right time....etc...its stressful no doubt and not easy....but like most things it gets easier with practice.