I need advice - my boyfriend has OCD and I am confused....?
822149
For your sake and his, both of you need more time. Although you don't feel that you need the extra time and that you are sure of him, the fact is that he is not absolutely sure at the moment. I know that hurts but you need both to agree before moving forward. Here's what both of you can do:\n\n1) Agree on taking more time. Also agree on a timeframe to review the situation and decision on the marriage plans. Could be 1 month or 3 months or longer\n\n2) You mentioned "spiritual beliefs". Try going for marriage counseling. They should help you and your boyfriend to be more sure about each other.\n\n3) Spend time really getting to know important things about each other. For example, does he/do you know each others':\n- Greatest fear\n- Biggest wish for yourself/each other\n- Strongest childhood impact\n- Parental expectations\n- Short/mid/long term financial plan and management\n- etc\n\nAnd if he really has a psychological disorder (OCD), he should treat it, be it spiritual healing or the psychologist.
647275
first off, that was mean of him to call you a retard, i know people with OCD.\n\nSecondly, if the police are understanding, they will allow you to do that.
398554
I have OCD, but a different kind.  i once felt like exploring the different kinds of OCD, and found out some pretty interesting stuff.  Here's what i found:\n\nObsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) is a psychiatric disorder, more specifically, an anxiety disorder. OCD is manifested in a variety of forms, but is most commonly characterized by a subject's obsessive (repetitive, distressing, intrusive) thoughts and related compulsions (tasks or rituals) which attempt to neutralize the obsessions.\nThe typical OCD sufferer performs tasks (or compulsions) to seek relief from obsessions. To others, these tasks may appear odd and unnecessary. But for the sufferer, such tasks can feel critically important, and must be performed in particular ways to ward off dire consequences and to stop the stress from building up. Examples of these tasks: repeatedly checking that one's parked car has been locked before leaving it; turning lights on and off a set number of times before exiting a room; repeatedly washing hands at regular intervals throughout the day.\nAnother symptom of the disorder is fear of contamination; some sufferers may fear the presence of human body secretion such as saliva, sweat, tears or mucus, or excretions such as urine or feces. Some OCD sufferers even fear the soap they're using is contaminated.\nObsessions are thoughts and ideas that the sufferer cannot stop thinking about. Common OCD obsessions include fears of acquiring disease, getting hurt, or causing harm to someone. Obsessions are typically automatic, frequent, distressing, and difficult to control or put an end to by themselves. People with OCD who obsess about hurting themselves or others are actually less likely to do so than the average person.\nCompulsions refer to actions that the person performs, usually repeatedly, in an attempt to make the obsession go away. For an OCD sufferer who obsesses about germs or contamination, for example, these compulsions often involve repeated cleansing or meticulous avoidance of trash and mess. Most of the time the actions become so regular that it is not a noticeable problem. Common compulsions include excessive washing and cleaning; checking; hoarding; repetitive actions such as touching, counting, arranging and ordering; and other ritualistic behaviors that the person feels will lessen the chances of provoking an obsession. Compulsions can be observable — washing, for instance — but they can also be mental rituals such as repeating words or phrases, or counting.\nMost OCD sufferers are aware that such thoughts and behavior are not rational, but feel bound to comply with them to fend off fears of panic or dread. Because sufferers are consciously aware of this irrationality but feel helpless to push it away, untreated OCD is often regarded as one of the most vexing and frustrating of the major anxiety disorders.\nPeople who suffer from the separate and unrelated condition obsessive compulsive personality disorder are not aware of anything abnormal with them; they will readily explain why their actions are rational, and it is usually impossible to convince them otherwise. People who suffer with OCPD tend to derive pleasure from their obsessions or compulsions. Those with OCD do not derive pleasure but are ridden with anxiety. This is a significant difference between these disorders.\n\nEqually frequent, these rationalizations do not apply to the overall behavior, but to each instance individually; for example, a person compulsively checking their front door may argue that the time taken and stress caused by one more check of the front door is considerably less than the time and stress associated with being robbed, and thus the check is the better option. In practice, after that check, the individual is still not sure, and it is still better in terms of time and stress to do one more check, and this reasoning can continue as long as necessary.\n\nNot all OCD sufferers engage in compulsive behavior. Recent
874577
I don't think there is ever a connection with OCD. I have it, too and some of the things I consistently do are really weird. Mine is a number thing mostly.
28494
I don't know what triggers your OCD but I have a problem with cleaning the house, I can't stand a dirty house so when I realiza I am getting obsessive over it, I grab a bottle of water and leave the house for a while. I keep telling myself that my house is not dirty and it it only the OCD talking not my common sense. I refuse to go back in the house till I drink at least half the water then, go in and refuse to do anything till the other half is gone. By then I hve found other things I can be doing and the worst is over. It is so hard at first but it gets easier.
790638
You have a compulsive obsessive disorder. Don't let it carry you away my friend, it can and will control you just like an obsessive boyfriend.\n   See a doctor first. Then lets get down to facts. If you've cleaned the mold out from between the bathroom cracks, cleaned the floors with a detergent and the toilet seats, the stool, in and around everything, you'll get almost 100% of anything that can harm you. The same in the kitchen. Don't leave scrap food around, your garbage has to go out at night, etc.\n   Clean up your dirty clothes, wash them, etc. normal household cleaning will do most of it including vacuuming.\n   Don't get too carried away and become obsessive. Don't drive people away. Remember, see the doctor, tell him your desires. In the lab we use a 10% solution of bleach for bacterial control, let it air dry but, this isn't all that necessary in the home.
791480
Hes confused and lost my dear. Somthing is troubling him, most likely something from his childhood, maybe his parents beat him a little, it could be a number of things. If you love him then you dont hate him, you just hate the way that he is, talk with him, dig a little but take it slow. Find  out whats going on in that brain of his! Good luck, God bless
435284
sure, you could have OCD, or an anxiety disorder, or a number of other conditions.  the symptoms you've listed are classic signs of OCD (washing, counting), but are also signs of other problems. you seem very troubled by it all, so it's probably serious, and seems to interfere with your daily life, so you should get professional help right away. if you're not sure who to go to, ask your doctor for suggestions. it sounds like you're a minor, so your parents will need to pay the bills and consent to any treatment, but you still have privacy, they'll only know what you want them to. talk to them about it, then go to a psychiatrist. it might help if you take a copy of your question, and write down anything else that you notice, when you go.  sometimes, it's hard to remember everything, and will be easier if you have a lot written down. be open when you talk with the therapist, and on any tests that you take to come to a diagnosis. it's important that you get help soon, the longer you go without it, the more serious your problem can become.  OCD can also lead to depression, self-harm, etc. so get help soon.\nBest of luck to you!\nadditional information that may be helpful:\n"Obsessive-compulsive disorder is a common mental illness in which people feel burdened by unwanted thoughts or forced to repeat troublesome actions. Unwanted thoughts, called obsessions, often include unreasonable fear of dirt or germs. Another common obsession involves fear of losing control and hurting oneself or others. Many patients also feel a need to perform repeated actions, called compulsions, to prevent harmful events. Some wash their hands excessively to avoid infection. Unreasonable repetition of everyday routines--for example, checking that faucets or stoves are turned off--is also common. \nMost people have certain routines and habits that they find comforting. For example, a person may like to get dressed or prepare for bed in a certain way. But most people can change their routines when the need arises. People with obsessive-compulsive disorder feel trapped and unable to change, even though they know that their obsessions and compulsions are unrealistic. \nMany experts believe that obsessive-compulsive disorder involves an imbalance in serotonin, one of the brain's most important messenger chemicals. Doctors may treat the disorder with medicines that correct serotonin levels. People may also be helped by behavior therapy, which teaches patients ways to resist their unreasonable thoughts and actions."\n\n"Anxiety disorders are mental illnesses in which a person experiences excessive and unreasonable fear and anxiousness. They include (1) panic disorder, (2) obsessive-compulsive disorder, (3) generalized anxiety, and (4) phobias...Obsessive-compulsive disorder is characterized by illogical and uncontrollable thoughts or impulses that result in obsessions or compulsions. Obsessions are persistent thoughts that the person considers senseless or terrible but cannot ignore. The most common obsessions include thoughts of committing violent acts or becoming infected by germs. Compulsions are actions performed again and again with little purpose, such as repeated handwashing or counting objects. \nPeople with compulsions sometimes believe their actions will produce or prevent some future event. For example, a girl may believe her father will die if she does not perform a series of ritualistic actions each day. People with compulsions usually realize the senselessness of their behavior and do not enjoy performing the repetitive rituals. In severe cases, the compulsion becomes the person's major activity and thus prevents the individual from leading a normal life...Generalized anxiety is a persistent fear without obvious cause that lasts 6 months or longer. Its symptoms include muscle tension, nausea, rapid heartbeat, and hot or cold spells. People with generalized anxiety constantly worry that something te
1035022
If you are worried, call your doctor.\nMy guess is that most of us have some degree of OCD and learn to live with it.\nWhen any behavior interferes with your quality of life (getting so tired, you give up) on a regular basis, you may want to get some professional advice on how to re-direct your thoughts.
264360
Talk it out, dude. That's the only way to get things right. But hey, be careful in doing so. It might be too much to ask but believe me, you'll need ounces of patience and tons of prudent speech as this maybe a sensitive ish. He probably needs to shower more often so he wouldn't have to do that again. Good luck! =)
259271
It sounds like you truely do have OCD. I take it you are underage and cannot obtain medical treatment on your own. If your parents refuse to have you treated please go as soon as you become of age. It can be very sucessfully treated with medication and or therapy.\n\nthis is from a web site:\n\nWhat are obsessions and compulsions?\nObsessions are recurrent, persistent, unwanted ideas, thoughts, images or impulses that are experienced involuntarily, appear to be senseless, and feel out of control. They commonly intrude when you are trying to focus on thinking or doing other things. Obsessions are often accompanied by uncomfortable feelings, such as fear, disgust, doubt, or a sensation that things have to be done in a way that is "just so." \n\nSome common obsessions include: \n\nfear of danger to oneself or others \nfear of contamination \na need for exactness or order \nA compulsion is a repetitive behavior - a ritual - that you feel driven to do, and seemingly cannot stop doing. Compulsions occur as a result of obsessions and represent your attempts to manage your incessant thoughts by doing something to try to settle them. For example, if an obsessive worry is whether or not the door was locked, then a compulsive response might be to check the lock repeatedly. Some common compulsive behaviors are: \n\nexcessive checking \ncounting \nsilent repetition of words \nhand washing \ncleaning \n ordering / arranging \ntouching \npraying \nhoarding \n \n\nObsessions and compulsions range from mild checking behavior (did I lock the door?) to severe cases where you are unable to function based on compulsions having taken over normal life functioning. If we think of obsessive-compulsive traits and behaviors on a continuum of varying degrees and intensities, most people experience them with little or no negative consequence on their daily lives and relationships. \n\nWhen obsessions, compulsions, and perfectionist behaviors take up excessive time and significantly interfere with your daily life and relationships, it is time to seek help. When this occurs, the repetitive and seemingly out-of-control behaviors of obsession and compulsion may be indicative of a disorder that should be addressed with the help of a licensed professional. \n\nIf: \n\nyou feel unable to keep up with your normal appearance and behavior, \nyou can’t work, \nyou cut off connections with friends and families and are unable to socialize, or \nyou can’t take care of yourself and have trouble eating, sleeping, bathing, etc. \nit is time to seek help! \nBehavioral therapy with medications seems to offer the best long-term improvement for the treatment of OCD. Even though you probably realize that your anxiety and behaviors are excessive and irrational, changing them is not a simple matter. Most people with OCD require assistance from a qualified therapist.\n\nCognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT): Generally viewed as the most effective form of psychotherapy for treating most anxiety disorders, CBT involves the use of such techniques as: \nthought-stopping \ngradual challenging of irrational behaviors \nidentifying triggers and separating them from the feelings of extreme fear and the desire to avoid certain situations \nsystematic desensitization focused on the physical sensations of your anxiety \n"post-modern" therapies (such as Narrative and Solution-Focused models), which may help by placing the symptoms outside you and allowing you to tell a new story about them. \nPsychoeducation: One of the difficulties with OCD is the confusion about this disorder. It is frustrating for the individual and family members to manage a situation that is so misunderstood. An early and important part of treatment is getting a good education in what is known about this disorder. \nMedications: Certain anti-depressants (usually SSRIs) or other anti-anxiety medications have had good success with many people who suffer from OCD. It appears that these medications act
654458
You should seek more help than might be found here.  If things don't change it may become a serious issue between you and your boyfriend, and you're obviously concerned about it.\n\nSee a doctor, perhaps, or a therapist?
394297
I think there might be some mental disturbance. Both of you need to see doctors, it happens sometimes in such relationships, as you would admit its kinda different then normal. More over are you sure you are completely healthy?
445335
I agree with the others that it sounds like your wife has OCD.  I pasted some info. below, and there is more if you go to the website.  Encourage your wife to speak to her doctor about this; he/she can give her a referral to a psychiatrist.  If your wife is resistant to the idea, show her this info., or the info. on the website; maybe that will convince her.  Good luck.\n\n\nTypical Compulsions\nCompulsions are repetitive, often ritualized behaviors that are intended to suppress the anxiety caused by obsessions. Compulsions common in OCD are the following:\n\n    * Asking for assurances\n    * Avoiding places or situations\n    * Cleaning\n    * Counting\n    * Doing certain tasks slowly and deliberately\n    * Doubting and checking, e.g., locks, lights, and ovens\n    * Hoarding possessions\n    * Ordering or arranging\n    * Repeating behaviors, including speech and action\n    * Washing, e.g., excessive hand-washing or bathing \n\nTypical Obsessions\nObsessions are recurrent, intrusive, and unwanted thoughts, impulses, or images that cause significant anxiety. At first the obsession may be experienced as relatively benign. Over time, the person associates it with fear and disabling anxiety. Obsessions fall into the following common thematic categories:\n\n    * Fear of contamination with dirt, germs, or poisons\n    * Fear of having a serious illness\n    * Fear that ones actions hurt other people or cause bad things to happen\n    * Inability to discard useless items (hoarding)\n    * Inappropriate sexual and aggressive thoughts and images\n    * Need for symmetry, order, or exactness
330339
My brother has OCD and I don't think that there is anything that you can do on your own. Remember OCD cannot be cured just treated. Advise: go to your psychiatrist and discus your options.
762633
He sounds like a control freak. Move on! Good luck to you!
746947
It might depend on what other symptoms you might have.  I don't have OCD, but I have very strong OCD tendancies.  So, I know that if my tendancies get worse or start to disrupt my life, I should seek help.\n\nif this is your only symptom, you might want to just work on overcoming it.\n\nGood luck.