Do you still VALUE your Parent's Opinion - no matter how old you are now?
830740
I'm 27 ,and I value my parents opinions,I just don't always agree with them.
567819
It's tough being a teenager.  I fought with my parents all the time at 13.  Every gray hair my mom owns, I gave her when I turned 13.  It's okay to have opinions and be passionate about them, but I think teenagers see things from a much more idealistic view, which is reasonable, because they haven't had to go out into the real world yet (where you have to have a job and money and all that boring stuff).  Your mom has seen life from a more realistic and sometimes pessimistic view.  She wants to be as passionate and idealistic in her opinions as you are but can't because the adult world changes that.  It's about living day to day.  But sit her down, calmly.  It's hard, but no matter what, be calm.  Even if she yells, be calm.  It'll force her to calm down too.  And tell her you love her and that you want to spend more time with her but that you want her to understand you and to help you understand her.  Communication is key at this stage.  I wish I communicated with my parents more.  But if you bottle up, it'll come back to haunt you, trust me.  So try to calmly sit her down and talk to her.  She loves you very much and wants the best for you.  It's just hard letting her little girl grow up.  Reach a compromise.  Good luck!
97678
If I were personally in a situation like that I'd probably tell my parents but lie about his age. When you were younger that is a HUGE age gap but 1) you seem to be a rarity of lasting that long with the gap and 2)it won't make as huge a difference now. My husband is 5 years and some months older than me though I did meet him when I was 21. (We've been together since then, I'm now 29) I think my dad was more concerned about the fact that I met him on the Internet rather than his age. LOL
331122
You are absolutely right in wanting to take care of your aging parents. I tried my best to care for my parents during the last years of their lives.It takes a toll on you physically and emotionally to see them slipping away before your eyes. If I had to do it over again I would NOT HESITATE a second to do it again.If your spouse has any objection, it is indeed VERY SELFISH of him/her. What if the shoe were on the other foot, how would he/she feel if you gave him/her the same answer which you have been given?If it were me, and this is only me speaking, I would question myself on how little I know about my spouse, and if I can love him/her again in the same manner as I once did.
235665
I am so glad you asked this question. I was adopted at about 1 year old. As the others said I don't consider my "birth" parents my real parents. The ones that raised me and gave me my values are my real parents. I had considered off-and-on searching for my birth parents ( and siblings ) but after much thinking about what really matters - I decided not to. If they cared they could have found me!\n\nI guess we will always wonder - but at the same time don't really want to know. We are-what-we-are thanks to the wonderful parents who raised us. After so...........many years of emotional struggle this is the decision I have come to. People not in this situation just haven't got a clue as to how tough this is!\n\nWell - I don't feel so all alone now - thanks for sharing your feelings!!!!!
1102331
I'm 40 and I have the same problem with some of my family.  Wish I had an answer for you.  Sometimes I get the feeling that the people in my life really don't think I can do anything right.  At least their actions say so.  I usually ignore their stupid remarks and go about things my own way.  If the remarks really get to me, I'll just plain tell them that I know what I'm doing.  Usually works too.
57224
My parents were amazing in so many ways. My mother has passed, but her best quality as a parent was her constant "interest." She always took a genuine interest in all that I did, all that I thought, all that I felt. She was a great communicator. She talked to me about everything and encouraged me to voice how I felt about things. She took an interest which showed me just how dearly she loved me. When you are in those adolescent years and your parents talk and talk to you and question this and that and so want to take an interest in your life, most kids just want to blow them off. Because my mom had always communicated with me like this from an early early age, I wasn't foreign to it. Therefore, during the "wonder years" I shared with her more than I believe most kids do. That helped us get through the tough times. It also taught me how to be a parent. My daughter is almost 13 and we talk like best friends. I have to thank my mom for this. Even though she never got to meet her grandchildren, she'd be sooo proud of them! This was such an awesome question.........thank you for making me think of her. Coincidentally.....yesterday was her birthday so she was on my mind all day. I'm so glad I got a chance to tell some people about her. :)
1184621
My advice...I have a daughter that is the same age...and we discuss everything!  Remember when your mother would say...well when I was your age?  Share the things you did and tell her what your mistakes were...make sure she knows that you understand that times are different for them...we understand some things they go through...but not all.  Don't judge her based on her mistakes...but support her when she does make mistakes...and she will.  Remember to love her.  Don't try to live vicariously through her, but live life with her health, happiness and well being in mind!
403097
Im 16. I was adopted when i was 4. My parents didn't tell me that i was adopted until i was 13. (almost 14) I felt abandoned, sad and confused because my biological mother didn't want me. I was depressed for awhile. But my parents explained to me that they loved me and that my biological mother loved me too, she just wanted to give me something better. (she was a druggie and was always out partying...) My parents also explained to me that they chose to take me, and that meant the world to me. They chose me, and they didn't have to. Now, i feel a little better about it. I talked to my biological mother for 3 years before i finally got what i needed out of her, reassurance that giving me up was for the better. So, if you plan on adopting a child, make sure that if you're going to tell them that you don't wait unti lthey're 16 or older (it hurts worse....) and make sure to explain to them that you chose them and that being with you is for the better for them. that's what helped me a lot. And just be there for them. If they want to find they're real parents, i would let them. Because it gives them reassurance and peace.
1130878
This is the story of parents and their children throughout human history.  Well, actually, it may be even worse in modern times...  Kids who ignored their wiser parents' advice often got eaten by a saber-toothed tiger, or something similar.\n\nLove for parents usually comes after you reach age 40, or thereabouts.  Before that, it's usually a very mixed-emotion thing.\n\nAnyway, I'll bet your parents felt exactly the same way you do now when THEY were kids, about THEIR parents.  That's the tack you should take, I submit.  Ask them to please remember how they felt about their parents when THEY were children, and then tell them exactly how you feel, just like you described in your very good question.\n\nIf they don't come around then, guess who's fault that is?  Not much fun, perhaps, but you'll know who tried and who ignored your best efforts.\n\nIf they're worth anything, they'll listen to you.
106098
time heals the past... but leaves a scar to it... your parents maybe afraid that whatever happened in the past may happen in the future... (de'javu?) \nthe man should prove his worth for your sister... \ni dont know what you beliefs are, but i guess, you could help explaining to your parents that age doesn't really matter when it comes to love... that your sister loves him, and that he's changed already (but sometimes, parents are really hard-headed, coz they believe what their intuition says)\nas long as the man shows that he's really changed, in time, he'll be accepted in the family... and your parents would love him more than what we think... \nYOUR WORK/DOINGS KEEPS YOUR WORTH, whatever he's doin' that will be noticed, and be graded... (by your parents/people from afar but knows whats' his doin)
606233
I'm 44 years old and I came out just a little over 2 years ago.  It was like lifting a huge weight from my shoulders.  I just wish my parents were still around to share in my happiness.
1093587
I can tell you from experience it isn't easy.  However, I now have the advantage of being much older and am able to look back on the situation a bit more objectively.  First off, realize that this has nothing to do with you and their love for you.  This is a relationship problem between the two of them that you did not cause and you can do nothing about.  Next, continue to love your parents equally and do everything you can to make this as easy for them as possible.  Take time to talk to them and don't be afraid to let them know how you are feeling and ask them questions about what is going on if you need to.  Don't let this situation control your life, life will still go on and in a basic sense, nothing really is going to change all that much for you in the long run.
501854
I've known stubborn set-in-their-ways people who were 7-years old.  I've known enthusiastic, open-minded, ready to learn and take on new challenges people in their 90s.  My guess is that people are who they are and the years just pile on after that, and it's who they are deep down that will see them open to change or not.\n\nBut my opinion isn't written in stone.  I'm open to changing it.\n\n;)
400475
Yes. Years of life experience are why it is wrong. No matter how old you are, anyone that much older will usually treat you differently than someone their own age. They may not even realize they're doing it. You know they are old enough to be your parent. How could they ever treat you like an equal when you don't have life experiences equal to theirs?\nGood luck.
234046
I think your parents need you love, just like you need thiers, take it from there and always remember that they helped raise you and educate you the way they did, if it wasn't for thier efforts, you'ld be a lesser person than what you are today.\n\nSo when it comes to parents, I always deal on a platform of love, and sacrifice. Don't forget that most likely, they will not be around for that long.
1029290
When you get older, you'll be surprised how much you missed out all because you cared to much of what others thought.  Just do what you, and only you, think is right.