what is the funniest proverb, saying about a snake and/or a turkey ?
823838
You can spin a Snake, but a Turkey must be Twizzled.
252450
A SNAKE!!!!!\ni win win!!!!!!
1002118
1.snake\n2.imagination
946873
only the turkey knows!
844715
gork laugh so hard he fall off rock..gorks joke now\ngork got mad cow disease from happy meal.\nhahahahah...snort...hahahah
773621
That and a horrible predjudice against snakes.\n\nTee hee!
953998
Joni B. you have no idea how I am laughing right now.  Last Thanksgiving I had my husband in the kitchen helping me.  I made him stick his hand up the turkey to pull all of that stuff out.  He is such a nut.  He was saying all this sexual stuff to the turkey and then he had the turkey looking like it was standing up...all you could see was turkey, then his elbow, anyways, he had that turkey dancing and singing....it was Hilarius.\nMaybe it's one of those "You had to be there" stories. \n\n To answer your question...I do enjoy the turkey neck, it's one of my favorite memories.....thank  you.
584037
On a cold, winter’s day, an impoverished man found a serpent, almost frozen on a mountain path.\nTaking pity on the thing, he wrapped it in his tattered coat and carried it carefully into his home.\nHe warmed it in front of his meager fire and fed it what poor fare he could provide and it gradually grew in strength, until, finally the snake was restored to its full health.\nThen the serpent turned on him, driving its deadly poison deep into the man’s body.\n“WHY?!” asked the man in disbelief. “I saved you! Gave you the best I had! Is this how you show your gratitude?!”\n“Why does it surprise you?” replied the viper. “It is my nature. You knew what I am when you rescued me!”
1002723
That reminds me of one of the ancient mythologie (greek, I think) called the Ouroboros---the snake eating its own tail.  No end, no beginning.    Good point on the "circular arguments".....
492827
Salt and a goat.\n\nps if you don't understand, say "What?"
35140
One is: 3 animals went to a movie. A duck, a frog, and a skunk. Which of them did not get in? \n\nThe skunk. The duck had a bill, the frog had a green back, but the skunk only had a (s))cent
803902
One of my personal favorites is from "Zoolander":\n"You can derelict my balls, capi-tan." LOL!!!\n\n*Edit*\nOh, I just thought of another funny one from "Ace Ventura: Pet Detective":\nLois: "How would you like it if I made your life a living hell?"\nAce: "Well, Lois, I'm not quite ready for a relationship right now, but maybe I'll give you a call sometime. Your number still 911?" LOL!!!\nPs. Thanks for the great question. You should get some funny answers.
367326
Definitely the Grail.\n\n"Come see the violence inherent in the system! Help! Help! I'm being repressed!"\n\n"You father was a hampster and your mother smelt of elderberries!"\n\n"No no, it's much to perilous!" (The peril)\n\n"Brave Sir Robin Ran Away!"\n\n"An African Swallow or a European Swallow?"\n\n"An what else floats on water?\n"Bread!"\n"Apples!"\n"Very small rocks!" \n"Cider!"\n"Gravy!" \n"Cherries!"\n"Mud!" \n"Churches!"\n"Lead! Lead!"
458828
Proverbial means from a proverb.  There is an old saying "curiosity killed the cat" - it's not exactly a proverb, but that's what the person meant when he / she said that.  Cats are notoriously curious - more than is good for them.  If you've ever owned one, it has certainly gotten into all kinds of trouble around the house I'm sure - falling into fish tanks, knocking things over etc.  \n\nCuriosity killed the cat is a well-known proverb to warn against being too inquisitive lest you come to harm.\n\nThe earliest printed reference to the origin of this proverb is attributed to British playwright Ben Jonson in his 1598 play, Every Man in His Humour (performed first by British playwright William Shakespeare).\n\n...Helter skelter, hang sorrow, care will kill a cat, up-tails all, and a pox on the hangman.\n\nIn this instance, "care" was defined as "worry" or "sorrow."\n\nShakespeare used a similar quote in his circa 1599 play, Much Ado About Nothing:\n\nWhat, courage man! what though care killed a cat, thou hast mettle enough in thee to kill care.\n\nThe proverb apparently remained the same until at least 1898. E. Cobham Brewer included this definition in his Dictionary of Phrase and Fable:\n\nCare killed the Cat. It is said that "a cat has nine lives," yet care would wear them all out.\n\nThe earliest known printed reference that is similar in style and meaning to the current proverb is O. Henry's short story Schools and Schools from 1909:\n\nCuriosity can do more things than kill a cat; and if emotions, well recognized as feminine, are inimical to feline life, then jealousy would soon leave the whole world catless.\n\nThe earliest known printed reference to the actual phrase occurred in The Washington Post on 4 March 1916 (page 6):\n\nCURIOSITY KILLED THE CAT.\n\nFour Departments of New York City Government Summoned to Rescue Feline.\n\nFrom the New York World.\n\nCuriosity, as you may recall—\n\nOn the fifth floor of the apartment house at 203 West 130th street lives Miss Mable Godfrey. When she came to the house about seven months ago she brought Blackie, a cat of several years' experience of life.\n\nThe cat seldom left the apartment. He was a hearth cat, not a fence cat, and did not dearly love to sing. In other respects he was normal and hence curious.\n\nLast Tuesday afternoon when Miss Godfrey was out Blackie skipped into the grate fireplace in a rear room. He had done this many times before. But he had not climbed up the flue to the chimney. This he did Tuesday. Blackie there remained, perched on the top of the screen separating the apartment flue from the main chimney, crying for assistance. Miss Godfrey, returning, tried to induce her pet to come down. If you are experienced in felinity, you know that Blackie didn't come down.\n\nOn Wednesday the cat, curiosity unsatisfied, tried to climb higher—and fell to the first floor. His cries could still be heard by Miss Godfrey; who, to effect Blackie's rescue, communicated with the following departments:\n1. Police department.\n2. Fire department.\n3. Health department.\n4. Building department.\n5. Washington Heights court.\n\nAmong them they lowered a rope to Blackie. But it availed neither the cat nor them anything.\nThursday morning, just before noon, a plumber opened the rear wall back of the chimney. Blackie was taken out. His fall had injured his back. Ten minutes later Blackie died.\n\nThe proverb, though, has been widely attributed to Eugene O'Neill who included the variation, "Curiosity killed a cat!" in his play Diff'rent from 1920:\n\nBENNY—(with a wink) Curiosity killed a cat! Ask me no questions and I'll tell you no lies.\n\n[edit]\nCuriosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back.\nThe origin of this variation is unknown. But, the earliest printed reference occurs in a horoscope printed in The Lima News (Lima, Ohio) from 14 September 1966 (pag
846086
"It's Merely a flesh wound!"   CLASSIC\n\nI use "I shall taunt you a second time (in french accent)"  All the time...it cracks me up!!!
325963
Thanks for that:\nThere the grown serpent lies; the worm that's fled\nHath nature that in time will venom breed,\nNo teeth for the present. Get thee gone: to-morrow\nWe'll hear, ourselves, again.
196887
a long tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs\n\nI had a dog that caught an armadillo.  When it rolled up, she was so perplexed that she threw a fit.  You should have heard the noises she made.  It was the hardest I've ever laughed in my whole life.