Help Please: major obstacles to change in a feudal society? I'm struggling!!?
826481
Well, a feudal society is very regulated - every one is kept in their place. The poor peasants have no money, they're all using the bartering system to get what they want, the only way for people to make money is to be a merchant (ie sell on products made by other people), but you can't buy any good to sell if you don't have any money! Also they all live in very small towns - every one knows that you are a peasant and you can't pretend to be someone else. There is no transport so you can't get away from your village and even if you walked away, you'd turn up in the next village looking shabby and everyone would be suspicious of you because you're an outsider.\n\nSo -\nlack of physical currency \nlack of possessions\nlack of control over personal circumstances\nlack of transport\nsmall population\nlack of control over means of production (ie they don't own the things that are making money)\nattitudes (peasants deserve to be poor)\n\nIt wasn't until people started to become merchants that any social mobility was possible. It all comes down to money in the end!
427511
it think this is just a man thing...regardless of upbringing.  i tried the first 5 years to get my husband to contribute to the day to day to no avail and i just ended up angry and frustrated.  i've learned that its easier to 'just settle'...you'd be surprised how when you lower your expectations to '0' any little stupid bit thing will thrill  you.  i know this is totally outdated thinking in today's pop psychology world, but its impossible to change a man...the only person you can change is yourself.  so really, you have three choices, 1.  try to change him and only end up frustrated, 2.  settle for less or 3.  leave.\ni'm sure a lot of women out there are angrily shaking their heads thinking you should be able to have it all...but i encourage them to have an honest look at their own marriages and their happiness...
1020789
Ugh ... I'm sorry you're office is going through something so dirty. \n\nI've been in situations where I've felt totally alone having to fight dirty politics. When I look back on 'what i could have done differently,' one major thing comes to mind: FIND ALLIES.\n\nYou can't fight alone. You've got to have a group of supporters. Even countries have armies. Your staff can rally, and garner support from outside offices or groups, and through the power of numbers, can fight for change.\n\nDon't let discouragement reduce you towards 'dirty politics' of your own. This is hard. When I was going through my own crisis, I got a lot of advice to "sling some dirt of your own," but I never did. I'm glad I didn't. It reduces you and you end up losing self-respect. \n\nFind at least one ally who is in a position above you. If you can find some higher administrative support, you'll be in a much better position to advocate for change.\n\nGood luck! Hang in there.
319485
Let's see...you married a man who had failed at 5 marriages before you, right? And I assume it was always the woman's fault that the marriage went south, right? I suggest that you have learned, hopefully, a very expensive lesson...people do not change, regardless of how much you want them to. I am sorry, but where were you when all this money was disappearing? Where were you when he was living high on your expense account. Your were "smitten??" I think the proper word for it is, "you lost your mind." NOw, pay your bills and go one with life. Not much else you can do. But I would hope that your are much wiser in the "from now on" than you have been in the "way back then."
881670
Change your job... No one is considered old in society nowadays... Even the old can marry the young..
613070
Friend you have to change your approach. It is not important that how you start the work- big way or small way. The important thing is that you want to do social work and it will be even more important if you could start it even in a small way- let us say start helping from one marginalized person of your locality.\n\nWhen you start any work you must have one thing in your mind that it is not going to help just one person. You must thing of helping any one in sense of empowerment of that particular person. The empowered person  will positively affect his/her surrounding. Spoon feeding creates dependency. It is always better to give, says a Chinese saying, a fishing technique to a hungry man than a fish. And above all,  right to live in dignity is a basic human right. The best way to help those who are disenfranchised live a dignified life is through creation of Social Capital. \n\nSo work on making social capital. It will be permanent and most effective tool to bring positive change in our society.\n\nShaheen Ansari
492915
Contact the key wives club, or family assistance programs.  Those are designed to help someone in your situation.  As for does it get easier, it'll stay the same.  Especially if he stays in for 20.  You'll know the ropes and be teaching to the other new wives then.  But it could be worse.  Join, and you'll see how much harder it is on him than you.
221657
If u r making u r own house: Change as per vastu rules.\nIf u already own such a house: Make some structural changes.\nIf u r staying in such a rented house: No problems if u dont stay there for more than 5 years.\nIf u r buying such a house: See if u can make some changes.\nThe best option is to buy or build something called a Studio in the US or West. A studio is nothing but an empty flat without any walls. So u can make wooden walls and make changes as and when you like. For example if you are attracted to Vastu now, so u make u r studio wooden walls like what vastu says. Then after some years if u feel like using Fengsui then change the wooden walls!!!!
289927
You don't... Sorry, won't sugar coat it for ya.\nYou can't change him. So change your outlook (seriously)\nPay more attention to what YOU are getting from the job ( like a paycheck, insurance, trust that you can do the job) and less on the lopsided (and yes unfair) workload.\n\nYou'll be happier if you just learn to let it roll off your back, show up, do you thing, collect your pay and go home to your wife and children. Just don't go home with a flat forehead, from banging it against a brick wall.\n\nGood luck and as I always say... "Once you realize you can't control the wind, try adjusting your sail."
62684
Haven't you realized there is nothing in this world for free!  You need to start saving 10% of your monthly income.  It may not get you out of poverty but it can help you keep your head above water.  STOP!!!!   Worthless buying and make sure you are solely concerned about necessities right now.  You can worry about luxuries when you get your feet on the ground.  I have been struggling with the same situation and I am taking it slow and steady that is what will get you through.  Keep your head up and good Luck!!!
600802
Can't be done.\n\nAs with everything, they have to WANT to change - someone else can't do it for them.
465579
its not always easy to do, one thing you have to keep your self pure till marrige. this is one thing the Bible talks about a lot (look in titus) another thing is to be a example to others, some times witnessiing will not do a bit of good unless others can see a change in your life. read your Bible, learn it so you can know what you are talking about when some one asks you some thing. love others, show that you love others any way you can. obey and respect your boss, the Bible says to obey those who have the rule over you. pray, this is one thing that most (even me at times) people forget to do, but not praying and waiting on the lords time is a lot worse than making a rash choice. \n\nidont want to go on and on, so if you want to email me go ahead, i am 16 and trying as hard as i can to live for God. and if i can answer any ?s you have, just ask.
970401
Yes, I've had a problem with this myself. Altering the way you deal with things will only happen over time. If you think about it, you've reacted a certain way all your life so changing things around will take time and patience (which of course is something you don't have!! Don't worry, the irony was not lost on me either!)\n\nFirst of all, accept the things you cannot change. In my experience there are a lot of árseholes out there, certain friends of mine will always be very money oriented and my first marriage did not work out. I no longer fight it, I accept it. \n\nThis is going to sound like self-help book bull but when someone is mean to you, or does something to fundamentally upset you, respond with a smile and with kindness. It really throws them which is amusing and which in turn makes you less angry. \n\nWhen it comes to interpersonal relationships (i.e. wife/husband/mum/dad) have a mental look at your previous arguments and see how they went. Do you labour on a point relentlessly? If so, did it get you anywhere? Have you ever recorded yourself having an argument? Do you look "sane" and rational? Chances are that you don't. When you are having a 'heated discussion' stick calmly to the one point you are debating and don't let it become a list of everything that person ever did to annoy you. And remember, once you raise your voice your point is invalid.
1006277
My suggestion is to just get used to it! I moved from a very built up town to practically the middle of nowhere. I'm not kidding! A farm is in my backyard! That was a year ago and I still have trouble adjusting. But I am happy here now. Everytime I went out I would find something I liked about the town, or the people, or how beautiful it was. I met people through my boyfriend and also neighbors. You will do just fine!! Everyone goes through something like that in thier life! Good luck!
1107849
you have to take it back to court. you will have to explain why you want it changed and prove that you need it changed
738343
Sounds very unfair. Hmm my best answer is try living with what you can and make the bes of it.
391736
U r goin to live ur life......not others.....so jus ignore the oppositions....If ur love is strong u can overcome any consequence........If the society opposes try to change it...remember the soceity is only made of humans....