why gay men feel lonely?
813886
I agree, it isn't a gay thing.  It just is a human nature thing.  Some people do it better than others.  It is an introvert/extrovert thing more than sexuality.  It is all in the point of view, actually.  I think you could perceive yourself as being lonely even when with other people.
350458
OK.. you confuse me... lonely? Ok Ok! Sometimes its good to be on your own, find out who you really are. Its always good to get back to your roots and the reason you feel lonely is because your not yourself. Remember... You dont need anyone to make you happy. Once you are happy and whole... Then youll stop being lonely and be able to make others happy and whole aswell. Take care. Heidi
313334
I think everybody who is lonely feels that way.  Get out and meet people instead of sitting there feeling sorry for yourself.
135052
They're right, you're not gay. You're just feeling a Special Bond, with your friend that you've never felt for someone. He's your BEST FRIEND and your FAMILY now, and you're depressed, insecure, and your feeling vulnerable, therefore it causes you to want to cling to him. You don't want to loose him, like you did your parents. All these things are making you confused because you've never been through so much at one time in your life. Thank god you had such a wonderful friend. That kind of friend, you'll love for the rest of your life.\n  You'll be in my prayers. Good Luck.*\n\nAddition:  MIKE92111, below, gave you a GREAT ANSWER.\n   Loving something or someone, is not the same as being  'in-love' with someone.
1155499
its because sometimes being gay means you will be prepared to live a single life and grow old  alone unless you found somebody that will sweep you off your feet, thats a different story. difficult? no. life is just a matter of adjustment.
1131002
You focus mainly in the manly part. You like giving pleasure to others, and if they are the 'forbidden' kind, better, right? You feel you can conquer any man, even if they consider themselves 'straight', that makes you feel strong. Just be careful...
394702
I think most people (not just gays, though we certainly do have less of a chance of actually finding someone) have this problem. It'll be okay though! Just keep up good spirits and you'll find someone sooner or later.\n\nAnd I'm always free to chat through YIM at SpookySickness or at bluesylvia@hotmail.com
146891
I would feel completely depleated, depressed, utterly unwanted. Over all, it wouldn't be a great feeling. If you consider homosexual people and homophobics, you can see an example of that, how some people shun them from society. If I myself were shunned from society, I believe my behavior would include depression and thoughts of suicide... yes, that far, because I myself am a very social person.
1038588
Because we want to attract the kind of people that we want to attract (does that make sense)\nalso i think because we need affirmations among gays and lesbians, we need to hear that its ok for us to be the way we are.... i'm saying this, not in a negative note co please do not get cross.\nits just that we get soooo much $hit from straights that we need a place to go to (an outlet) talk about our feelings without being judged..... you know how we instantly feel more connected to a fellow gay person in the midst of straights? i do believe, this is the reason for gay pride to be such a big hit....lol\n.....we just want a sense of belonging, a "family" to go back to,at the end of the day....\n\ni hope this answer doesnt sound too "mindless" to you....\nhope this helps! good luck
408258
I'd have to agree with the last post. It seems that most men on the down low are there for a reason...becasue they don't feel that they can openly embrace that part of their sexuality.  I also really think it's a culture based thing, too.  I was doing some reading a while back, and you find a lot of this kind of thing in the Japanese, African American and Hispanic communities.  These communities tend to raise their boys to be strong manly men, and no gay love allowed!
681988
Unusual, yes, most straight guys I know are freaked out by gay men.  I wish I could find a straight man that is comfortable around gay people.  My best friend (whom I live with) is gay and I would love to find a man that would be comfortable with my best friend .
373144
I can totally understand what you feel. I felt this way when I was 18 yrs old. Just the thought of it scared me only because I was brought up to think it is bad. I never heard of anything good about it. I had a sheltered life. So it is your mind that was conditioned to think it is bad and scary. \n\nIt did not happen overnight. It took some time to allow myself to think about it inside openly without being afraid of the thoughts. I also had to get to know some gay and lesbian people in the next few years to get to know who they truly are. It taught me to be comfortable and help my mind realize that there was nothing to be scared of.\n\nThe internet also helped me talk about my feelings without fear of rejection or judgment. So it wasn't until I was 25 that I was ready to start dating women. It was when I finally became comfortable with myself and had absolutly no fears for what I was feeling.\n\nJust go with what makes you comfortable and confident about yourself. Sexuality is not black and white. It is very gray. It is fluid. It is a matter of finding out who you are with both genders.\n\nFeel free to email me if you wish to discuss this further without judgment.
648249
I think we all get that feeling sometimes. Sometimes you sit in a crowd and you still feel lonely. I think knowing God helps and also going out and caring about others. I like the saying "the only way to have a friend is to be one". If you look for someone else who is lonely and you make their day by giving them some attention, it also make you feel less lonely because someone appreciates what you did. I think it also helps to find fulfillment in what you do. Work on your talents and hobbies and you'll find satifsaction.
304184
This is a very wierd question and pretty homophobic.\n\nTo play devil's advocate and to be controvertial I'll give the view that gay men are all just really mean and like to think of all the single women in the world at home crying because they can't get a man.  I mean if gay men actually found men attractive how wierd would that be?  By Jove it would almost be as if they were homosexuals!\n\nSorry I havn't slept in 56 hours and feel ill and sarcastic.
139929
going to a gay support group might help.
529615
This is a reality "WAKE UP CALL" : You do not need a man to validate whom you are, because if you do, then you really do not know whom you are at all. This is a trying and difficult situation, to feel lonely, but this too shall pass. First thing is to be selective about the guy you are interested in, don't just go for the hard body with the great face and bad boy attitude{ these guys are good in the sack and little else}, try to find a guy you have a bit in common with, this will make you happier in the long run. The kindest thing you can for yourself is to not be so desperate, it is like blood in the water, you do not want to cause a feeding frenzy among the sharks and you my dear are the bait.
1139905
To be honest (i'm straight) i'm not anymore interested in the lifestyle of my gay friends than i am of the straight ones!  I mean i'll ask them how they are or what they have done over the weekend but nothing i don't ask any one else!!  I think some straight people either: a)secretly wonder if they are missing out on something; either sexually or with the lifestyle/social scene OR b)-and i know lots of people like this-are pathalogically nosey!  They have to ask you questions about anything and absoloutely EVERYTHING!  Its just the way some people are; they cannot function happily without feelin' as if they are included in everything!!!  Don't some people just DO your head in!!!!