breast cancer survivor - how to live my life with ZEST. i've gone all complacent?
826936
I'm sorry to hear about your illness, but happy about your recovery. Have you dug out your old "100 things to do before I die" list? That's the best place to start. Good luck.
589828
Had at least two friends who survived. Just do as the doctor says and PUT YOURSELF ON AS MANY PRAYER LISTS THAT YOU CAN. HAVE FRIENDS CALL OTHER FRIENDS AND HAVE THEM PUT YOU ON THEIR PRAYER LISTS. God bless you.
345658
I know that cancer can spread, but breast cancer is one of the most successfully treated cancers there are so there is good reason for hope.\n\nMy wife had breast cancer 6 years ago.  Her are some things that were most encouraging for her and the things that were not encouraging.\n\nNot encouraging:\nThe endless suggestions that people gave us for natural medicine alternatives.  My wife is a nurse, she wanted to use things that were proven, not an experiment.\n\nPeople who tried to convince her that they could identify with her but really had never experienced anything like what she was going through.\n\nPeople who offered the "cosmic answer" to why she was going through this.\n\nWhat helped:\nWe had a lady who offered to bring meals over the day after she went though chemo.  This was very appriciated.\n\nWe had a family who gave my wife a cleaning service that came in once a week and cleaned.  This was appriciated.\n\nI made a commitment never to leave the house in the morning unless everything was cleaned up and put away.  My wife can't rest in a messy house and I think this made a difference.\n\nLot's of listening, but also lot's of initiating conversation about normal everyday circumstances.  When you have cancer, lot's of people ask how's it going.  Answering this question a thousand times is very exhausting emotionally.  My wife loved it when someone came along and talked exclusively about what was happening with them and she didn't have to answer questions about herself.\n\nCards that express that you are thinking of this person without lines of optimizin from "rose colored glasses".  Simply "I'm thinking of you."  Is much more real and benificial than, "I know it'll all work out in the end."\n\nAlso, we have 3 kids.  My wife appreciated families who reached out to our children and gave them a place to talk about their emotional ups and downs through the process. Our son was a teenager at the time.  He rarely talked to us about what was going on and only asked one question.  What we found is that he was talking to the parents of a friend of his and getting support there.  Sure, we felt a little like we were out of the loop.  But the important thing is he found a safe place to process his emotions.  My wife found comfort in this.\n\nBest wishes
565884
Take it lightly and you'll be happier and if you have cancer, you needto be happy, a lot. Maybe they have a very good reason for not coming. Right now, don't think about these little things that will weigh you down and make your health worse. Think about your life from the lighter side, the more colorful point of view. Remember, it is you who decide how happy you want to be (and how miserable). Choose happiness! And get well soon!! My prayer is with you, God bless!
439506
Although it is hard to come to terms with what is going on at the moment you must keep in mind that your uncle will reach a place where most of us could only dream of being. My cousin whom was 22 just past away with CF which is a lung disease and i took it pretty bad.. but i knew that when he went it was gods plan to make him healthy and happy and not to suffer anymore here on earth. Also you will too one day meet up with him and be a family as you are now here on earth. Keep your chin up and be strong for him as he has gone though so much with his chemo and the pain. You will be able to say your last goodbyes and when you do you will feel a sence of calmness in you. I will pray for you and your family.
378751
I FEEL FOR YOU. I LOST MY MOM TO PANCREATIC CANCER. I TOO MISSED HER FINAL MOMENT ON THIS WORLD..IT'S NOT EASY.. BUT TALK TO PEOPLE DON'T HOLD ANYTHING IN. LET IT ALL OUT...GOOD LUCK!!!!!!!!!!
1099457
I'm sorry to hear of your loss.  As a cancer patient myself I personally feel that you handled the situation very well and that your mother understood the depth of your love for her.  I'm happiest when my family is doing normal things and not concentrating on cancer.  Big hugs to you.
1079248
Hi,\n\nSorry to hear about the MM;  it broke up my marriage so hopefully the same will not happen to you.\n\nI am a little shocked he is so far along at 39;  "usuallly" we "young people with MM "  have lower progression.\n\nWhat is his outlook - SCT ?  Thal/Dex or Velcade?  Treatment should lower cell loading and he should get stronger.\n\n"both" of you could use some counsuling - to help get over the hard parts.  the mental game is REALLY hard;  so depression is there someplace;  to go from "alive and healthy" to "terminal cancer" is a really tough one to swollow.  Many people have told me "they understand" but truthfully, unless the doc give YOU that kind of news,  you really don't.  All you can do is work together to make it better till he gets better;  hopefully he will.\n\nYou really need to sit down and discuss what is going on;  that you, as "primary support person" have a lot on the plate and that, while you understand,  you need him to help as much as possible.  HE needs to be patient and work with oyou;  make him part of the support,  not just the person needing support.\n\nPart of the weekness is (probably) low HGB and the meds - see what you can do to keep him strong.  Docs should be albe to help and see if you can get some friends / relatives to give you a break;  even for a couple of hours a week.  You can't be superwomen forever;  ask for some help.\n\nAls, let him know, he NEEDS to keep up the strength as much as possible, for as long as possible.\n\nThere is a lot of help on the MM sites, even stuff for the caregivers.\n\nhttp://www.multiplemyeloma.org/\nhttp://www.myeloma.org/main.jsp\n\ngood luck,\n\nJewells\n28 months and still here
127712
Hi Patz! I have really good news today and I'm glad that your question was still open.My mother was diagnosed with cancer almost a year ago and I was devastated by this news.This past months were by far the most difficult of my whole life! I've been living whith her and we had the opportunity to talk a lot,to became even closer than we already were.Yesterday,I took her to the doctor and he told us that her body is finally free of the cancer cells.I was so happy and so relieved! We know that this can came back any time but,for now,we are celebrating life! I can't think of better news!\nMoon :)
492645
I had a BMT  I understand her my day 0 was april 17 06   tell her u luv her honestly I dont know how to convence her Except why not take a second chance I did life is hard tell her shes brave. I did it. Im sorry it happen. I used my bros marrow. If u have ? email me. trust me the pain is horrid Its not easy but what is. the stakes are high isolation is hard, beause you dont get to touch anyones skin. gvhd is good and bad ill pray for your family
830930
try this ok i don't no if this is what you want or not. you are very thoughtful we need more like you cause i had cancer but not no more. thanks for your thoughtfulness! http://www.cityofhope.org/ccc/db/
261567
The only refuge at this point is peace of mind & spirit. I have been in this situation more than once & it really also depends on the person. I think once they have emotionally "given up" their health deteriorates rapidly. I have seen someone I love on the verge of "the end" & recover to some extent due to a "happier" mental state. They felt supported & uplifted by that support. Once they saw the genuine fear in our eyes, they basically gave up. It was only a matter of weeks afterthat. During those weeks we assured them that we would carry on their work within the family, & do our best to to come together as a "family unit"  (that was their biggest concern). They left this world in peace, knowing their legacy would carry on. I'm not sure if that answered your question adequately, but I hope it helped. God Bless!
1105763
It's depressing as hell to get it, the treatment hurts like hell (or least my multiple surgeries, 8 months of chemo and 6 weeks of radiation did!), and once you're done with it, you remain scarred and damaged (physically and mentally) the rest of your life.  Try dating and explaining to someone why one breast looks like a Barbie doll's and the other looks like Phyllis Diller's!  \n\nSigned, a Breast CA survivor since age 30 (now mid 40's)
749627
I was once in her position and the most helpful thing was the love and support of everyone around me. She needs professional help and will not be able to get through this hard time without it! Make sure she is seeing a doctor about this problem and make sure you are there for her 100%! She needs to know how many people truly love and care for her right now! Assure her that she is going through nothing unusual and that she can make it through. If either of you are religious, I recommend saying prayers together and regularly attending church. Faith can help you through so much! If neither of you ar religious, just stick to the professional help and make sure she has a support group (friends and family) throughout her recovery! Good luck!
938737
Try meditation before bed. \nI think you have unconfronted issues of anxiety - you say that you don't worry, but you had cancer, so it's pretty unnatural not to worry in such a situation. Sooner or later you'll have to face your fears, even though your attitude is very positive, please allow yourself to admitt this small weakness. You may also want to try counselling.
971338
My aunt passed away this past year from breast cancer, and I don't know if this is something that it unique to the city they live in, to breast cancer, or to terminal patients, but there was a hospice that helped them (her, her husband, my cousins, and my grandparents) through the entire thing, providing counseling for her and for her "co-survivors" (the people in your life whose lives are affected during diagnosis, treatment, and possibly death), being an advocate for her with the various doctors and hospitals and treatment centers, helping them find financial resources when things got really bad financially, and when the end was near, she went to live there and was cared for in a really kind, peaceful, gentle way (unlike at a hospital, where understaffing can happen, the hospice is small, and the people are trained for that particular work...  they became close friends through the whole ordeal).\n\nIt's not just with the elderly.  Depression in cancer patients and families of cancer patients is understandable and common.  If you don't know of any resources, start out talking to his oncologist (or a nurse at the oncologist's office, since a lot of times, the doctors can be rushed and not all doctors have a great bedside manner, while nurses are the ones who are actually THERE for the whole thing).  Express your concerns and ask if there are any centers, hospices, or other resources available to help them work through this time in their lives.  I'm sure they'll be able to get you to SOMEONE who could help, or who could tell you what the next step towards getting help would be.\n\nAll that aside, when my own grandfather had cancer, he was very trying to be around.  I say that, and I hope you realize that I love him very very much, and I understand that it's COMPLETELY normal for him to be upset, and all that, but realistically, yeah, he was difficult to be with.  Basically, for 65 years, he had been a robust man, working two jobs at time, a manager or supervisor in just about any job he had, he loved to be around people and to travel and to work out in his yard and all that, then he got sick, and was dependant on his wife (a woman my husband likes to tease about being the only 65-year-old woman to maintain her birthweight...  she's TINY) and his daughters and doctors, and he didn't have the energy he wanted to keep up with grandkids and go to church and he couldn't travel anymore.  Basically, he just had to hand over his "I Can Take Care of Myself" card, and I think his pride was hurt more than his body at that time.  So we'd bring him food, or help him across the house, and he was grumbling the whole time, not because he was bothered by us or he didn't think we were taking good care of him, but because he didn't want to be taken care of at all.  That frustration on top of everything else came out loud and clear.  Understand that your grandfather is a grown man (even if at times he has to be cared for like a child) and try to find ways to respect him that way.  In some ways, taking care of an ill grandparent is like taking care of a three-year-old.  They have to reliquish control, but they won't do it happily.  Sometimes the best thing to do is to let them think they have control, even over seemingly small things.  \n\nI'm sorry to hear of your grandfather's illness.  Take care.
319734
I am reciting some of my experiences here – they are not meant to be boastful, rather I would like to inspire as many people who are suffering from cancer as possible – I would like to tell them – you can live normally! My best wishes to all, their families and friends! This is a long message so please do bear wtih me!\n\nThe stage grouping for my tumor was IVA (T3N0M0)  \n\nI ran a manufacturing plant in Mumbai (Bombay) and then moved to another city. I am a father of three beautiful kids- a son (age 20) who’s doing Engineering - Computer Science, a daughter (age17) who’s doing a pre-university science course and a school going younger son (age 10), and am very much in love with my wife of 25 years. We'll be celeberating our Wedding Siver Jubilee soon!\n\nOn August 30, 2002, I was diagnosed with cholangiocarcinoma - lower end common bile duct - by an MRI scan, I was 43 years old then (I married young), a malignant tumor was present at the joint between the head of my pancreas and the bile duct. This was further complicated by a scratch in my pancreas caused during ERCP on September 2, 2002. Though I have a high threshold of pain, the ERCP injury was almost intolerable and I had to be kept under sedation until surgery which took place on September 7, 2002. –.   Whipple’s procedure. \n\n\nMy gall bladder, omentum, part of my stomach, part of my pancreas (about 1/3rd),duodenum and the bile duct were removed. The margins were all clear. Right from September 1, 2002, when I had my last meal for quite some time, I was not fed anything at all, not even water. I was fed intravenously (I digress). \n\nReconstruction was carried out. I was in the operation theater and under anesthesia for almost 11 and ½ hours. Everything was fine until September 15, 2002, when excessive fluids started leaking out of the two drain holes made on both side of my abdomen. On that day in the morning I was fed with a low fiber diet with a tube connected directly to my stomach. I was very sick. My bowels gave away suddenly, and I lost control over my bladder. I started shivering violently and then suddenly felt very hot, I started sweating profusely and breathing was difficult even with an oxygen mask which had not been removed after surgery. Though in distress, my mind was very clear and lucid. I could see the expressions on the hospital staff and the doctors’ faces and understood that any second could be my last. That did not worry me or scare me, what worried me was my family’s fate after me, though after all the pain death was not an option that I wanted to reject outright.   \n\nI realized how serious I was, when experts advised that I be shifted to another hospital with better facilities a few miles away, and the doctors attending upon me, including the surgeon who’d operated on me and the anesthetist personally lifted me up and put me on a gurney to wheel me to the ambulance, rather than wait for the ward boys to come in. I remember the doctors periodically checking upon me by asking how I felt during the ambulance ride. I knew they wanted to know the level of my consciousness. I remember feeling the ambulance speeding and constant sound of the siren - not klaxon.\n\nI was quickly taken for an MRI scan and later my gurney with me on it was kept outside the hospital room, in a very safe and sterile place until the fate of my scan and probably, the doctors wanted to see if I would survive before admitting me into the hospital, Probably, if I know the law correctly, if I’d died within 24 hours of admission to a hospital a Post Mortem procedure would be mandatory.  I understood all this while I was waiting to be admitted to the better hospital, as I said, my mind was clear and lucid all throughout, I was very much aware of my surroundings, the people, the sounds and noises.\n\nAt that time I remember feeling quite pleasant, not hot at all and there seemed to be cool breeze wafting around me cooling me up. \n\nI was finally taken