what did Mister Ghost say to Mrs Ghost!?
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with a sheet like that I want to know if those boos are real?
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What.................Did you say something...........
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I once heard a real good line:\n\nBaby....you're so fine I could drink your bath water!!!
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This one made me scared to cook Ladybug ladybug fly away home.\nYour house is on fire, your children are gone.\nAll except one, her name is Nan.\nShe crept under a frying pan.lol
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Q. What did the woman say when she went into Marie Callender's?\nA. I'll huckleberry pie, please. (I'll have a berry pie, please).\nSorry, that's the best I can do with that word!
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Get back with you in a minute...can't stop laughing.\n\n\nI'm back. I haven't laughed so hard in a long time. Thanks. Woke the husband up. And , no.
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"Hey kid".\n\nI turned to look but no one was there.  It was all quiet on the street this Sunday morning.\n\n"Hey kid" \nI heard it again. "Hey" I said back, hoping to find where the voice was coming from.\n\n"Come here" the voice said.\n\n"Where are you?" I asked.\n\nJust then my friend, Carl walked out of the pizza shop.  "What do you want Carl?"\n\n"Huh?" he gave me a strange look.\n\n"Didn't you just ask me to 'come here'?" I asked.\n\n"No, I just got out here".  He said. "Are you feeling alright?"\n\n"He can't hear me" the voice said.\n\n"Where are you?" I asked \n\n"I'm standing right here, dork" Carl laughed thinking I was playing around.\n\n"No there's a voice here" I said.\n\n"He can't hear me" the voice said again.\n\nSo hows that for a start on a three way conversation?
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Being for the benefit of Mr. Kite, the renowned paperback writer, Sexy Sadie felt she simply couldn't refuse to attend the reception. Crossing Penny Lane she spotted Jude. He looked awful!\n"Hey Jude!" she said. "What's up?"\nJude replied, "I heard the news today, oh boy! About Eleanor."\nSadie blinked, then said, "You mean Eleanor Rigby? "\n"Yes," said Jude, "Father Mackenzie says she's leaving home. She's got a ticket to ride somewhere. He says to let it be, but I'm down."\n"Oh Jude," said Sadie. "You mean, she's leaving for another man?"\n"No," said Jude, "For no-one. I told her not to be a day tripper; I told her we can work it out, but she just sighed and said "You can't buy me love!"  Now this boy really feels like the fool on the hill!"\nSadie tried to take his hand, but he pulled away.\n"Oh Jude! Don't let me down! I want to hold your hand, that's all! You know she loves you! Yesterday, I saw her in Strawberry Fields, you know that long and winding road there? She said she loves you!"\n"Ha!" said Jude, as they entered the Banquet Room in Abbey Road, "She's a woman, but based on things we said today, I mean nothing to her! I am the Walrus staring out at sea as the yellow submarine of my dreams sinks below the surface ..."\nSadie handed Jude a double brandy and took a double vodka lime for herself. They watched the band warm up. Sadie groaned when she saw who was playing .... \nJude shook his head and said, "It's been a hard day's night, Sadie. Why can't Eleanor and I just come together?"\n"Well, Jude, you know, life is often just a magical mystery tour." replied Sadie.\n"Sorry to "spoil the party","  a nasty voice sneered.\nSadie looked behind and saw Sergeant Pepper leering at them. His "Lonely Hearts Club Band"  had begun without him, and he was the last person she wanted to meet.\n"Lady Madonna!" she hissed.\n"Now, now, Martha my dear! No need to swear," said the Sergeant. "Please please me and say you'll twist and shout with me while the band plays on?"\n"You know my name!" retaliated Sadie. "And when I dance with you, that's the day the blackbird's singing in the dead of the night!"\n"Oh Sadie, love me, do!" said Sergeant Pepper.\nHe lunged for Sadie.\nSadie cried "Help! I need somebody!"\nJude flung his drink into the Sergeant's eyes and yelled "Get Back!"\nThe Sergeant tried to say something, but then Sadie and Jude were surrounded by bouncers.\nThe biggest one warned Sergeant Pepper. "Hey, you've got to hide your love away!" \nAnother added "From me to you, loser, you can't do that!"\nAs the sergeant was being manually evicted from the premises, he looked over his shoulder and said, "I'll get you! I'll get you all!"\nJude and Sadie left not long after.\nOut in the rain, Jude said to Sadie, "It's always been this kind of "hello - goodbye" thing between us, Sadie but thank you girl. Don't ask me why but I feel fine now."\nSadie walked away with a rubber soul.\nIn the distance, Jude was shouting, "P.S. I love you!"\n"Yeah," thought Sadie, "Like Lucy in the sky with diamonds! Loser! Jerk!"
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Ray Wilkins: Let's do something freaky.. \nBrenda Meeks: Like what, Ray? \nRay Wilkins: I don't know..why don't you talk dirty to me? \nBrenda Meeks: I don't know what to say, Ray. \nRay Wilkins: C'mon, just make something up. \nBrenda Meeks: Oh Ray, why do you make me so bad? \nRay Wilkins: C'mon, 'cause you a bad girl. \nBrenda Meeks: Okay....I'ma work this. I'ma make this mine! \nRay Wilkins: Yeah, work it. Ooh, it's all yours. \nBrenda Meeks: I'ma piss on face...and I'ma fart in your mouth, I'MA SHI* ALL OVER THESE WALLS, RAY! \nRay Wilkins: [Ray looks disgusted] \nBrenda Meeks: ...too dirty? \n- Scary Movie 2\n\nJust tell him the things you want him to do to you, that usually works for me.  Try to sound convincing and in control, will come across alot more effective than if you said it timidly.
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HERES A CUTE ONE:\n\nMrs. Gonzalez comes to visit her son Jose for dinner. Jose lives with a\nfemale roommate, Maria. During the course of the meal, Mama can't help but\nnotice how pretty Jose's roommate is. She had long been suspicious of the\nrelationship between the two, and this made her more curious. Over the\ncourse of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to\nwonder if there was more between her son, Jose and his roommate than meets\nthe eye. Reading his Mom's thoughts, Jose volunteered, "I know what you\nmust be thinking, but I assure you, Mama, Maria and I are just roommates."\n\nAbout a week later, Maria comes to Jose saying, "Ever since your mother\ncame to dinner, I've been unable to find the silver sugar bowl. You don't\nsuppose she took it, do you?" "Well, I doubt it, but I'll e-mail her, just\nto be sure." So he sends his Mom an email:\n\nDear Mama,\n\nI'm not saying that you took the sugar bowl from my house, and I'm not\nsaying that you didn't take it.\n\nBut the fact remains that it has been missing ever since you were here for\ndinner.\n\nLove, Jose\n\nSeveral days later, Jose receives an email response from his Mama:\n\nMijo,\n\nI'm not saying that you 'do' sleep with Maria, and I'm not saying that you\n'do not' sleep with her.\n\nBut the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her own bed, she would\nhave found the sugar bowl by now.\n\nLove, Mama
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How is this MainWorry character. Whats wrong with you man? Don't you think for yourself? F*cken tosser...\n\nsharon: That's what they all say, lol!
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lol yes!!! i saw it! it was really cheesy that bloke who presented it was so crap....he would look at the camara and force the 'GHOST WHATCH.....LLLLIIIIVVVVEEE' out and every time when he said it he did the same thing.....and he kept getting really confused and mixed up his words loads
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Stan: Hey, do you know where I can find the clitoris?\nCartman: What is that like finding Jesus or something?\n\nMr. Garrison: How would you like to go see the school counselor?\nCartman: How would you like to suck my balls?\nMr. Garrison: What did you just say?!\nCartman: Oh, I'm sorry (Clears throat and pulls out megaphone), actually what I said was, "How would you like to suck my balls, Mr. Garrison?"\n\nMr. Garrison: Does anyone know what sexual harassment means?\nCartman: When you are tying to have intercourse with a special lady friend and some other guy comes up and tickles your balls from behind!
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I ask my friend, "Why did I ever let you talk me into this fiasco. You know I hate dark, haunted houses.  This place is so spooky, I can't stand one more scarey thing happening.  First it was that strange sound coming from the closet, then those footsteps on the stairs, then those doors upstairs slamming.  Now that strange gurgling sound coming from the closet, even if you paid me a million dollars, I wouldn't go in that room alone.  All we need now is an exocism.  Let's call someone.  Did you bring your cell phone??"\nHe said, "yes, but it isn't working, it has all kinds of weird sounds coming from it."\nI told him " Let's get the heck out of here."\nWe ran toward the door, but the front door was locked, so we turned toward the back door and then we saw the headless body.  We both screamed and started running toward the window to jump out and a monster came out with blood running down his mouth, he was coming after us.  \nAnd that's when I woke up.  That was one of the scariest nightmares I had, and I decided no more pizza, hot wings and other spicy foods with beer just before bedtime .
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Some parts didn't make much sense, but here it goes:\n\n"I'm' sorry I had to hang up today. My girlfriend was near and she is very jealous. I'm not enjoying this, I will send you the camera, all you have to do is wait a little bit, because I had a financial crisis. Did I tell you I'm coming back to  Florida? A (Kiss?)"\n\nP.S. I'm Portuguese.
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anastasia said:  \n\n it would become a question. OR..a command statement without a subject..no sentence that has verb/subject. \n\nCave says:\n\nUnless Yoda says it!  "Help you, I will".\n\nJust joshin' ;-)\n\nCave
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GHOSTS? Yes. In the summer of 1977 a ghost took up residency in my electric fan. It was very entertaining. Had a penchant for ABBA tunes and sang to me in a weird electric voice. It lasted for just a few months then disappeared. I still miss the ghost.  \nWITCHES? Yes. I went to elementary school with a girl whose father was a Warlock. Nice guy but those big bushy eyebrows made him look scary.  \nKELPIE? Yes. When I was very young I saw a "pony" swimming in a bayou in Baywood, Louisiana. I ran home and told my Grandad about the swimming pony. Grandad asked me what color it' eyes were. Red I told him. Grandad became excited and told me it wasn't a pony at all. He called it a Kelpie. He said a Kelpie was a water "imp" that took the guise of a horse to entice innocent folk into the water with it. Once the victim entered the water the Kelpie would return to it's true demonic form and drown the happless swimmer.  Grandad forbade me to return to the bayou ever again and I never did.\nBLOODY MARY? Yes. I remember some years back I was dining at a truck-stop. A drunken trucker was dared into saying "Bloody Mary's" name three times. He did. After the 3rd time he excused himself to use the bathroom. He never returned. The cook went into the bathroom to see if he was ok. The bathroom was empty and quiet except for a broken mirror over the sink. No trace of the trucker at all. I heard his Semi stayed parked at the truck stop for 4 days before it was towed.\nVAMPIRES? Yes. I saw one years ago as a spectator at a carnival. He was a pale, bald, bony man dressed in black & gray. He was wiping his mouth of what looked like ketchup. He caught me watching him. I felt uncomfortable and turned to walk away. As I did I faced a Fun-House mirror. There was no reflection of the strange man. He was right behind me! Surely there would be a reflection! There wasn't. That's when I realized he was a vampire. I ran through the mid-way until I caught up with my friends. I never told them about the vampire because I knew they would never believe me. \nJACK the RIPPER? Yes. There is documented proof Jack the Ripper existed. The question is who do you believe he was? Some Historians say he was a respected Surgeon others believe he was a prominent member of High Society while others claim he was a member of Brittain's Royal Family. Me? I'd have to go with the Surgeon theory because of the proffessionalism of the knife wounds. Experts claim the wounds were very precise and were administered with expertise. \nCANDYMAN? Yes. The legend of the Candyman is just a variation of the "Bloody Mary" legend. They are one and the same theory but the Bloody Mary legend is much older than the Candyman .  \nBLACK CAT THAT CROSSES YOUR PATH? Absolutely. A black cat has no supernatural powers ......unless it is a "Familiar" sent by a witch to cast a spell. A familiar is an animal (cat, owl, rodent, wolf, etc.) charmed by a witch or other sorcerror to cut-off or "cross" an intended victims path. By doing so the essence of the spell or curse will possess the victim. Folk-lore has it....since the animals were small or at least not very large they were only capable of containing mild spells like clumsiness or "bad luck". Fortunately A cursed black cat is the only supernatural element I have not encountered in my strange and very eventful life (aside from Jack the Ripper that is!)...So far!