need help with alcoholic brother?
818467
First of all, the dog is completly irrelevent in this scenario. Why people are commenting on the dog is beyond me. Who cares about the dog, the cops rights, brushing teeth, blah blah blah. The police officers suspecting a crime had been commited have the right to come into the home for more than one reason. Someone could have been hurt or killed and your brother destroying evidence. Second, they believed a crime was commited and your brother the perpetrator, they can come in uninvited. If your brother is drinking and driving and you suspect a alcohol problem, who cares about the minor details. \n\nYour brother will not and can not quit until he wants to. I have mixed feelings about court mandated Alcoholics Anonymous meetings. I am a sober member of Alcoholics Anonymous and also a police officer. The program saved my life, my career, my marriage and more than likely, the life of someone else. I was a chronic drinker and then always drove. Why I never hurt myself or others is beyond me. But, praise God!!!\n\nForget about the dog, the search warrant and all the other trivial stuff that ultimately wont matter when your brother is dead or in prison for killing someone. Encourage him to look at his drinking patterns and the problems alcohol causes in his life. Suggest rehab or Alcoholics Anonymous. Find another alcoholic in the program that may talk to him. \n\nDo something quick before it is too late and your writing questions about manslaughter laws or casket prices!!\n\nhttp://www.alcoholics-anonymous.org/en_find_meeting.cfm
562094
My sister married an alcoholic...all her efforts to help him out of it didn't work...i mean ALL! She loves him so much but then love isn't all...She realized after 15 years that she have forgotten how to love herself....She left him and  2 years after the separation, he was a changed man...Now they are back in each others' arms and alcohol free...
153965
Salvation Army in Tulsa, OK has a long term residential program. Your local chapter should be able to get you in touch with them. Also,look in the yellow pages under alcoholism, there should be listings for 800 # referal services. Whatever you do, GET TO A MEETING AND GET A SPONSOR IN THE MEANTIME!!!! Good luck and prayers for you or the other sick one.
1156604
Well I guess the first step is to strike up a convo. Go in his shop and ask for advice/helping on picking out something. I dont know what kind of shop it is but you can always say its for your brother if it is a male shop or something for yourself so you can show him a different side of you, that you like the things in the shop too. When he is taking a break, try to take one too and say hi, how is your day going. Or if he goes to make a drink, offer to make it for him. You gotta talk to him first.
530807
The best thing that can be done for your brother is to let him have to get himself out of trouble.  Don't bail him out if he gets arrested.  Don't give him money to cover his bills.  Don't talk to anyone that he has wronged, make him do it himself.  Making him face the consequences for his actions is the only way he will learn that it really doesn't pay to get in trouble.
752609
Although it's difficult to say exactly what is going on here without interviewing you, your brother and his family, from your description, he sounds like a garden-variety drunk.  All the things you describe--depression, aggression, anger, perseveration (repeating stuff)--is typical of very inebriated people.  And your brother may drink because he is depressed, or for any number of reasons, which leads to a sort of chicken-or-egg notion (does he drink because he's depressed or is he depressed because he drinks?).  \n\nRuminating about possible genetic or behavioral causative factors will not get you very far, because your bro has chosen a very destructive and selfish path, and you need to maintain some sanity in your lives.  Asperger's Syndrome is an autism-spectrum disorder, fairly difficult to diagnose correctly, not so amenable to treatment, and isn't the main issue here.  Were your brother to show up for behavioral intervention, his drinking and resulting behaviors would be a primary focus of treatment\n\nThe first priority is for the sane people in this family to get help for themselves.  I suggest that your sister-in-law and you both start attending Al-Anon meetings.  That your brother thinks he has no problem is common among addicts of all kinds, and you may not be able to do anything about him until there is a crisis.  In the meantime, protect the children and yourselves.  \n\nI recommend reading up on Adult Children of Alcoholics (website provided below).  Also, a man named Doug Thorburn has a website on alcoholism and substance abuse, that is thoroughly informative, if a bit shrill.  \n\nI wish you, your brother, and your sil & family all the best, knowing you probably have a long slog ahead of you.
158859
"Bottoms up!"\n\nNah, I was just kidding! You probably need to talk to him about getting into a rehab. You have to talk to him about getting back his life. Tell him that by getting into rehab doesn't mean that he is weak, but rather he is trying to acknowledge his weakness and correct it. You must help your brother as you are the only one who can do this. No one can else can help him except you. But he must also be wanting to help himself. No one can force a person to do something against his own will...
1038982
It's against the law in all states.  I am sorry that your brother did this to you.  You are doing the right thing for him as well as for yourself.  There will be healing that will come with this.  Keep you a head up.
625675
If he is violent or has threatened violence then he can be comitted by you.  There he will be examined.\n\nIf there is no violence, then you must convince your brother to seek help.  You mmight do a little research on his symptoms and what disease you think he might have.  Use this infrmation when you talk to him.  Try and be non-threatening.
1073275
Well thank you for being the more Christlike person in trying to do it all yourself and not giving up because your brother doesn't want to do the work.  But it does need to change because your brother should be helping too.  Tell him that charity is a virtue and that charity brings happiness.  I believe he would be more happy if he helped those around him . . . and himself.  Maybe reward him for helping out with something sometimes.  Give him incentives to do better.
170902
An alcoholic has to want to help himself.  My husband says he probably will have to hit bottom first before he will have the motivaton to quit.  My husband also says that you cannot help him until he is ready to help himself other than by letting him know that when he is ready you will be there for him.
144002
If your mom could help your brothers ,then tell her .If she finds out later and knows you knew, she would be even more hurt.
244124
I would love to be of help to you.i would check Hazelden Books and Alcoholic Anonymous on line.I'd like to help you search if you want.
691000
I had a friend that was addicted. He's over it now, but I could never convince him that he needed help, he had to convince himself. I'm afraid there's little that you, alone, can do. Depending on his age, perhaps you could talk with his parents, or maybe a counselor of some sort...? When he realizes that he has a very serious problem he's going to need to know that you'll be there for him! You might have to be strong while he is weak! I wish you (and him) the best!
172508
I hate to say this but you can't deal with alcoholics.  When they reach rock bottom and have lost everything maybe then they will want help, but until then you're wasting your time.
416267
May I give a freind your e-mail address? He's been drinking for years but keeps saying he wants to quit before he gets too old.\nAs for me I am a little mean to him, I won't buy him beer, I won't be around him if he is drinking and I won't even talk to him on the phone.He trys to make me feel guilty but I tell him if he wants to be around me be sober!\nI won't plead or beg him anymore, but I do pray for him.
616215
AA meetings are good to go to even if you think you don't have a problem anymore. They're good reminders. Just enjoy spending time with your brother, who obviously cares about you.