Does you wife go back 20 plus years to keep a fight going?
819812
Mine does the same.  Just remind her that past is history, future is a mystery and present is a gift - so live in the present and enjoy it.  There is no use in bringing up bad memories from your past.
738522
I have been married for near 7 years but have been with my man for 12 years, we got together at 21 years old.\n\nWe have had our ups and downs but our love for one another has grown stronger than ever. \n\nThe main part of marriage and any relationship really, is communication. Don't bottle things up, sit down and talk it out, that way the 'problem' is out there and both can work together on how to solve it.\n\nIn all the years we have been together, we have never in an argument said anything we would regret later on. We have never called each other a name or anything like that.\n\nWords can hurt and people can remember what has been said through arguments, and bring that up in another argument. \n\nMarriage takes alot of work and it can work if both parties are commited to the marriage and each other.
637902
I learned to take a man's punch (totally different than a woman's, believe you me) when I was in my first serious relationship.  He started beating me like I was a guy while I was pregnant.  The guy was also the biggest bad-@ss around at the time, ironically.  His own mother was terrified of him.  I learned all that while being with him, not before.  After escaping that mess, I married a man who also thought he would teach me a thing or too.  But by then I had learned to dish out what anyone thought they would give me.  \n\nLet's just say that I also had a 'unsatisfactory' childhood, or lack thereof, and homelife.  I learned early on how to survive as well as fight back.  Not surprisingly I got in a lot of fights, guys as well when they thought to lip off, in school and into young adulthood.  I've had to fight for everything in my life, one way or another.  I'm still young...but I've come a long way and learned a lot.  I try not to fight anymore, but I WILL defend myself and if someone else starts it, I WILL end it.  But I don't go around looking for a fight, or trying to start any, or claiming that I'm some bad@ss who can whip the world...believe me, there's always someone out there who is badder.  I'm just not going to take anyone's unneccessary or disrespectful B-S.\n\nNeedless to say, I haven't had anyone actually pick a fight with me in years and really with today's laws and standards I'm glad for it.  I only enjoyed fighting when I was young, dumb, and raving mad at the world.  I had so much rage that I would just snap.  Now that I am older and wiser, it takes a lot to push me to that dark point.  Even when young, I didn't actually enjoy fighting, I was too full of rage to enjoy the fights I was in.  And people who claim to love fighting aren't that mature and also, have never been in a real fight where you are so scared of dying or being beaten so badly that you are fighting for your life, just to survive.  Even in a lot of cases of a real fight, you may be winning but you are still getting beat pretty bad as well; it hurts like hell when you've come up against an equal opponent and it's not only a victory of pride when you've won, but relief to have survived the battle as well.
496798
I was married for 20 years...got to the whole "'til death do you part" portion of the deal.  He was my absolute best friend, husband, lover...soulmate.  I do believe that in long term relationships there is no gray area, you either grow together, or you grow apart.  I have become who I am because of the life we shared and by having to survive his death...I am stronger, more independent, and hopefully one hell of a mother because of it all.
824852
Good on ya mate!  I love to hear that there are some long term relationships out there.  I've got 26 years in mine and there have been some tough times....and it looks like more on the horizon.  But I am optimistic.  We've made it this far.......I'm sure we can handle this storm like we have all the others.
908542
My wife has been cutting my  hair for 22 years
904411
lol !!i take it you had a fight with your wife????????????!!!!!!!!!!
557938
My wife is and we are both Black belt now, and we spar daily. They are out there
67250
I have been married for 7 years in april and my husband and I had a similar fight when we had first gotten married, I now do not work but in a new marriage everything is changing so fast and I think that asking her to quit her job is like asking her to give up her ability to support herself and feel confident, it is her way of having something all her own not having to share it. I think if you give her time and come to a compromise she will come to some common ground with you. But I wouldn't push the issue of her quitting all together. I hope that I have helped some .
734787
marrying my first husband at 18. had no experiences before i got married. didn't last but 5 yrs. and we fought alot.
54257
5 years after marriage. or 8, if you're not married.
207308
My wife of over 8 years.
1138914
I have a 7 yr old son and a 9 yr old daughter...an all they do is fight!  LOL!  It drives me absolutely crazy some, no, everyday !  I have asked the pediatrition and a councelor at school and they both gave me the same answer.  They will when they are more "grown-up" meaning mature.  They are trying to figure out their importantance in their own right.  Where they fit into life and they are actually learning from the process.  I know that it is painful and terribly disturbing, but they will grow out of it.  They are learning to deal with conflicts, try to let them work things out and intervene only when necessary.  I, myself, have a hard time stopping myself from telling them to "Quit it", but I am getting better.  Give them some space, explain to them that there are rules to arguing...no name calling, no loud voices, they should remain calm, and talk through the situation.  Compromise is the name of the game.  Give it a try, they are preparing themselves to be adults.  If we as parents teach them that we all must argue some times in our lives, but that there is a proper way and an inappropriate way to receive the results we want, the world just might yet become a better place.  Here are some articles I found:\n\nhttp://www.utexas.edu/student/cmhc/booklets/fighting/fighting.html#anchor104643\n\n\nhttp://members.aol.com/AngriesOut/fairfigh.htm\n\nhttp://www.bartongoldsmith.com/articles/fightfair.htm\n\nI only quickly read through each one, so I'm not sure how they differ.  I searched "fighting fair", if they don't help.  Good luck, and I hope that all works out well for you!!   :)
433308
It's not about IF you fight, it's about HOW you fight. \n\nThere are always going to be dissagreements, you are two different people and you have seperate thoughts. The time of your life right before a wedding can be very stressful, but there are many stressful events in life, you don't want to be duking it out all the time.  But what is most important is the way you fight.\n\nIf you disagree, and both get a little heated holding your own and then make up and let it go.... you are probably fine.  You might want to figure out why you're fighting, if it's communication issues, stuborneness, or temper.  But all of those can learn to be overcome or controlled.\n\nBUT.... if your fighting reduces to name calling, tantrums, wall punching, or hitting then there is a respect issue.  ANd that becomes a problem.  Fights like that are usually the beginning of the end. The issues there go far beyond spats, and will become the walls between you on the way to divorce.\n\nThis is also a good time to evaluate her issues.  Is she starting the fights?  Is it becuase she's not getting her way?  Or is it both your faults?  Is this how she handles stress?  Does she blame you for everything?\n\nMake sure that your sweethearts character is all you thought it would be.  Peoples true self comes out when they are under stress.   \n\nTry and evaluate why you are fighting. If you two are like most couples it's probably working out the communication issues, and every new couple has them.  If you are both mature adults they will work themselves out in time. And you'l be great.  But if there is more to it than that now.... the pressures of marriage, and day to to day life may prove to be more than you bargained for.\n\nGood Luck!  Let us know what happens.
547846
i have 2 friend whose wife is about ten years older than them. They are all happy with their families, so i think age does not matter as long as love binds them.
573467
been there husband was the same way...I was 15 when we were together and I slept with his best friend...we went our separate ways for about 10 years got back together and did not trust me at all..I was only 15 and he kept bringing it up 17 years later. He would get really upset if I wanted to go out with my friends, and alcohol was like poison to him he would always go back into the past about all the bullshit and he would start fights over the stupidist things...any way to make a long story short I divorced him in january
688602
Rather normal marriage I would say.  Did you ever understand that it takes two to fight.  Have you ever thought about just listening to her and keeping your mouth shut.  I don't mean leaving either I mean stay right there and listen and be quiet and when you do talk do not speak in anger.  Is your pride so big you can't let someone have their time of anger.  We all get angry at times.  She should do the same for you hut I am writing to you not her.  I live with a woman that really gets angry and stays that way sometimes days.  I could really have some knock down drag out fights in this house.  I don't and won't.  I keep my mouth shut nd keep some distance between us but don't leave the house.  Yes it angers me but I also know she is angry and out of anger many things are said that at the time are ment and later are regrettedd..Most of the time she gets over it in a couple of hours but once in a while it does last two to three days.  Now she has learned from me that it works and now when I get angry and i do she keeps quiet most of the time but still has to put in a coment here and there that is like knife bladws.  She is getting better as time goes by though.  One thing for sure is that I never get really angry at just her.  Most of the time it is due to someone olse interfeering in her life.  \n     Just try to keep your cool and try to listen to what she has to say.  An all day fight is dangerous to both of you.