Worried my kids will see their father viewing porn while I am at work....please help!?
826942
Oh, Hon.  This is a BIG one.  We have several issues here.  First, porn should ALWAYS be a problem.  You see, if men would stick to a couple of mags a month, no problem, but that is not the case.  You see, porn is a slow poison.  First he does it every once in a while and then before you know it, it consumes him.  He will tell you he does not look at it that often, it is most likely a lie.  Porn addictions are just as bad as crack additions.  It is VERY hard to break.  Not impossible, but VERY hard.  With this addiction he is taking time away from you and your kids to fulfill his selfish needs.  We he looks at porn, it is mentally cheating on you.  \n\nYou are right, when you leave home, it will only get worse.  He will neglect the kids so that he can sit in front of the computer for hours looking at naked women.  The kids will eventually see him doing it.\n\nYou know there was a situation like yours that was recently in the news.  Sarah Evans (Award winning country star and contestant on this season's Dancing with the Stars) had to leave the Dancing with the Stars completion because her husband has a porn addiction and their young son walked in on him watching pornographic materials.  Her son was devastated.  She dropped out of Dancing with the Stars because she had to take care of her son.  \n\nWhat I am trying to say here is, you children will suffer because of this addiction.  Not only will they be neglected, they will be hurt if they run into this material.\n\nThis porn addiction is about to be kicked up a notch because he is going to go crazy when you are not home.  He will be like a kid in a candy store.  He will have free reign to watch all the porn he wants.\n\nIf you are strong enough to take the computer from him, then do it.  It is not about you trying to be controlling (which any addict will call you if you try to stop them from indulging in their addiction), it is about you taking care of your kids even when you are not at home.\n\nBe warned your husband will eventually want more than the porn, he is going to want to start touching what he is seeing. It is called natural progression.  He has a bad habit that will only get worse.  \n\nYou and your kids do not deserve this.  You are going to be out there busting your butt for your family.  You need and deserve the security of knowing that your kids are not going to be ignored while you are at work.  You also need to know that you man is being faithful to you in EVERY way while you are gone for the day.  He needs to be faithful to you, mentally, emotionally and physically.\n\nBy the way, children are very impressionable.  They stay innocent for such a short a time.  They don’t need to walk in on their father indulging his fantasies with a computer screen, if you get my meaning.  He is getting aroused by the porn, and he is going to want release.  This could be at a time that your kids need him for something and that will really upset him.\n\nTake the computer if you can or if you don’t need it for work, cut the internet connection (but most likely he has downloaded a lot of stuff and saved it somewhere on your computer).  He needs to get into some counseling. So do you.  His porn watching has had to have some effect on you and your self-esteem.  Try one or two sessions.  Just talk to someone.  Nothing is worst than having the man you love constantly watching other women.  Even if it is only on a computer screen.  I wish you the best and God bless.
363099
Consider installing porn content filtering software( Strongly Recommend NetDog ,you can get it from www.netdogsoft.com ) on your computer. it will help to protect you from stumbling into pornography by accident,
405560
Sit this silly little idiot down and tell him YOUR house rules!!!!!!!!!\n\nNO PORN DVD's\n\nNO ADULT TV.\n\nFor God's sake - he is supposed to be an parent.  How would he feel if another man came into his house and showed his children pornography.  If he doesn't get this then kick him straight out the door.\n\nMen like to make women feel that unless they put up with his little porn collection then we are prudes......BULLSHIT!\n\nI have been married to the same man for 20 years.  We have three daughters who live with us.  If he ever thought that my children should be subjected to images that are not only inappropriate but offensive then it would be the end of him.\n\nNO COMPROMISES.......if he need porn that bad he can make HIS choice and go and get it - but not in your family home.\n\nAlso, it's a little strange, if you ask me, that he like to leave them around small children - are you sure he's ok?
370953
The best way to filter out porn is with some kind of parental control software... such as NetNanny, I think Norton makes one... or if you're looking for free software do a search on Yahoo! for "free web blocker" or something similar. \nHowever, the real issue is your husband's porn addiction.  Because even if it's blocked on the home computer, he'll get it elsewhere.  This is a terrible addiction, that has destroyed many families.  but it CAN be overcome. My personal suggestion would be to get him to see a counselor.  Preferrably go with him, couples therapy its sometimes called.  Possibly if he realizes the HUGE impact it has on everyone around him... he might be motivated enough to stop.  But at the end of the day, HE has to make the decision to quit, otherwise he won't.  No matter what you do, unless HE decides it's important to HIM to stop.  Good luck, if you need a good inspirational story on the subject I'll email you my own, just send me an email.\n-Duo
15216
Consider parental control software. e.g. CyberPatrol, Net Nanny. I use McAfee's Internet Security Suite.
634032
Parental control for surfing the Internet. They will hate you for it but tough! You are their Parent and have the right to screen what they do. You can also buy a programme for watching everything that is done on your computer. Install a really good one and they won't even know you are watching them. Protect your kids cos it sounds like they can view anything and there are some seriously bad things out there. Your Internet Security should offer some level of censorship. Norton is good with full parental control.
965791
Hello!! :o) Like some others who have already responded - I'm also curious as to how you know. But lets just assume that you 'accidentally' saw your son and his friend give each other 'hand jobs'. Contrary to what some guys say - a LOT of guys [especially young guys like your son] 'experiment' with each other. And more often than not - it goes no farther than 'mutual masturbation'. It's not a 'sign' of anything insofar as sexual orientation is concerned. [If it was - than MOST guys would be GAY - because MOST guys have had at least SOME same-sex 'experience'!!] But should you DO something about it?! Well... like what?! You certainly can't make it stop. You could - I suppose - threaten him or shame him. But that would just backfire and destroy whatever relationship you have with him. A parent always wants to keep the doors open [Emotionally speaking] and a sure way of closing those 'doors' is to make a child feel ashamed for being HUMAN. IF [and this is a BIG 'IF'] you have a good relationship with your son - and HAVE in past talked openly about things, including [perhaps] sex - you COULD bring up the topic in a 'round-about way. Without actually talking about him [and his friend] specifically [at least not at first] you could mention how normal it IS for kids to 'experiment' sexually with their friend. And let him know that THAT is OK. But also let him know that it's important to be careful about not getting carried away and doing things that maybe he [and his friend] shouldn't BE doing. THEN let him know that your 'door' is always open and he CAN talk to you about anything. AND that anything he tells you will be kept private. [And keep that promise!!] Saying anymore to him at this stage would probably just confuse him. I hope that helps. Craig!! :o)
684937
Attempting to look at porn while at work or not is simply futile. The best way to achieve what you are trying to do is tell your boss you want to look at porn, or throw your computer in the river.
361074
Thank you from a mom's viewpoint.  I think it's lack of supervision.  The computer may be in an area of the home that's is shut off from the adults.  Also I don't think some parents know what type of questions are being asked.
24696
You should really investigate more. There could be so many reasons for this. You’re just going to haft to walk in wisdom and find out by talking to them. Whatever they don't learn from you someone else is going to teach them. There going to find out from someone or something (TV, Internet, etc...) no matter what. Even if they haft to teach there selves threw there own curiosity and exploration. You might as well be the one to talk to them and answer there questions. You say your children have never been molested are you sure? This can happen and you not know and they might not tell you very easily. Boys can molest boys, or even older brothers molest a younger female or male sibling. I have known a female that was molested by her older brothers.  So watch over your 4 year old daughter to make sure that she is protected until you get to the bottom of this. Finally if there father is not in there life you should find them a mentor. I recommend a local church with a youth pastor that is fun and in tune with your kids needs. The pastor should stay current with the issues of your children’s age group and as they grow older. Where I go to church the youth church has a gym and even Playstation 2. They teach the kids what they need to know about abstinence and drugs. In addition you should volunteer there to get up to date with what is going on in kids lives. Also this will give you an opportunity to find a male that YOU can trust to speak into your kids lives………Your mom and some things they just need to talk with a man about and have some male guidance. Someone they feel they can talk to too get answers without feeling “busted” by there curious questions. You should also be in a church that will give you REAL usable principles that are practical on parenting, simple and easy to understand.\n\nOh and if there on the internet have you asked your self what are they looking at? Below are some links to help you out. Hope this all helped.\n\n\n22 Year old Male.
816141
I was going to suggest that you always be in same room as child when she is on-line, that way you can monitor where she is going much better.  Do know of Nanny Watch and other filters that parents  use also, but once kids get a little older they usually have how to get around them figured out.  It's sad that little ones have to be exposed to such things when they are truly only looking up things that interest them then get on some porn page that just because it has the word directs them there.  These machines aren't that great afterall.
573170
stay off the porn little boy & Mommy won't have to monitor your activity & you won't have to try to hide it
1152371
Hi young lady.  You're bound to get a ton of responses to your question, both from parents and from other teens who consider you either very lucky, or very unlucky.  I suspect that something happened this evening that upset you and probably prompted your to ask the question - perhaps they turned down a request or simply said something at a moment when you really weren't feeling happy with the state of your life.  Regardless, being a successful father myself (my son is now married and working on his master's degree to be a teacher), I can tell you something you probably don't like to think about; that is that raising a child . . . I'm sorry . . . a young man or woman, in today's world is a VERY scary and challenging thing to do.  Particularly in the case of young women, if you follow the newspapers or TV news at all, you'd see that the prevalence of sex crimes in our country is at an all-time high.  The Internet itself is being used as a tool by predators who want nothing more than to take advantage of gullible or naive young people who are too ready to trust, and not ready enough to protect themselves.  Your parents sound like they love you very much . . . enough to want to protect you from the very nasty and ugly side of humanity, for as long as they are able.  When you believe they are simply being mean or too strict, they are actually struggling with the choices they must make as you grow older, regarding how much freedom you should be allowed to have, as opposed to how much risk and danger could be waiting for them to allow you too much freedom, or perhaps more than you are fully equipped to handle.  Parents have a terribly difficult job, and very often they have to be the "bad guys" as far as their children are concerned, in order to ensure that their children remain safe and secure until they are old enough, and hopefully well enough prepared, to step out into this very brutal world on your own.  I don't want to put you to sleep here with a long message (I might have already done so:-), but I believe you will find in the long run, that in order to earn more trust and more freedom from your parents, you're going to have to demonstrate to them how responsible and how trustworthy you can be.  And if you attempt to mislead them, or you abuse a trust that they give to you, you shouldn't be surprised or angry at them if they back off and require you to earn their trust all over again.  As a retired military person, I can tell you most assuredly - freedom is everyone's right, but it is a right that we all have to earn, not once, but every day of our lives, but doing what is right (not just what is the easiest), and by setting a high standard of honesty and integrity for ourselves that no one can put a hole in.  I suspect that when you have become the kind of upstanding person your parents want you to be, you will discover that they will endow you with increasing levels of trust, and freedom, so long as you continue to prove that what they are doing is the right thing, not just for you, but for your entire family.  I apologize for writing so much, but I saw in your note some feelings of disappointment and frustration with your folks.  Try not to only consider their actions from your point of view.  To really understand what is happening in yours and their lives, broaden your point of view and try to consider what they're feelings are, and what they're reasons are for the decisions that they make on your behalf.  Don't be in too big a hurry to be out on your own - it's a far scarier and more dangerous world than you can possibly imagine, and your time in it will come all too soon.  Good luck with your question, and with sifting through all of the many wide-ranging opinions you're likely to see.  Use your brain, and not your emotions to determine who's advice is the most honest and the most intelligent, and don't just choose those answers that suppor
447276
I think you want to block porn on you computer.\nHere a good Parental Filter, FREE, which is a very good Parental Filter, check it out:\nBlue Coat® K9 Web Protection is a content filtering solution for your home computer. Its job is to provide you with a family-safe Internet experience, where YOU control the Internet content that enters your home. K9 Web Protection implements the same enterprise-class Web filtering technology used by Blue Coat's Fortune 500 customers around the world, wrapped in simple, friendly, and reliable software for your Windows 2000 or Windows XP computer.\n\nhttp://www.k9webprotection.com/about.html\n\nhttp://www.synergeticsoft.com/ for pop up blocker
528605
are you scared of something? If you don't know how to clear the history...don't go to porn sites.\n\nBusted and now the parents will take the computer away
144652
My parents are ancient.\nThey dont usually surf the net, especially mami.\n\nDad watches porn though.\nWhen i catch him, the mouse hes holding goes crazy, and he tries so hard to close all porn windows in the shortest possible time... \n\nAnyway, I don't think theyll ever find out about yahoo answers.
453472
Yes, it is. \nI found porn on my hubby's laptop, and (after I deleted it all, of course), I REALLY let him know how much it bothers me. He hasn't watched porn since. \n\nYou are his wife, and he should respect you, and to not do what bothers you. Contrary to popular belief, men do NOT have to look at porn...it's not a necessity for them to continue living. \n\nMy suggestion to you is to talk to your hubby about it...seriously talk. Also, consider all the reasons why he would be looking at porn. For example, if you two are not as intimate as you once were because of busy lives (jobs, kids, ect...). If this is the case, then do whatever you can to make time for him. Men need to feel attractive, desirable and wanted just like women need to. \nI wish you best luck!\n-Pegasus