Why do I find it hard to relax around people?
818918
Sounds like there is alot more to the problem then u r saying but i can understand u not wanting to go into it. I have a problem with trust and i tend only to befriend my family i have no friends either but choose not to cause down the track they will only stab u in the back. Good luck.
300881
I spent a little time in Tempe, and walking in the bike lanes is a good way to encounter people - people who'll run ya over!  Ever been hit by a bicyclist who's not paying attention?  I have, and despite being a b*i*g strong guy - that hurt!  Get the heck back onna sidewalk, dude!\n\nSome people do want to be surrounded with people.  They function at their best in a room jam-packed with other folks.  They absolutely thrive on the noise, the odor (!), the hustle and bustle, the unavoidable bodily contact, and all that.  And some folks abhor such situations.  Niether type of person is a perv.  Each is perfectly within the "normal" range of social interaction.  Each is, if all else is equal, just as successful at life as the other. Although often the folks who like big crowds of people will try and tell everyone that they're the more successful, studies show that's rarely true.\n\nAfter that's said, I suspect your case is a bit different.  It is a bit unusual to go to the lengths you describe to avoid personal closeness to others, but it is not necessarily a sign of a problem.  If it appears that your aversion to physical proximity to other folks is messing up your life in a serious way, then you may benefit from some counselling.  Ya probably don't need medication, so don't let the idea of immediately being prescribed a pill scare you away from looking for someone with professional credentials to help ya out.\n\nOkay, so you're not sure you have a real problem.  The mental health professional can help you ease your mind in that regard - I, too, tend to shy away from large groups as well as some individuals - and I'm a health professional!\nSome groups I just don't want to deal with, and some individuals, putting it bluntly, scare me.  Oh, I'm perfectly capable of defending myself physically, unless the other dude is a real giant - but I'd just rather not have to confront that possibility.  Did that for years in the Army and I'm just tired of it.\n\nI tell you all this knowing that you have your own reasons for avoiding certain groups and certain individuals, to help you realize that you aren't necessarily "abnormal".  But ya know - it really might help to clarify that with a mental health professional.  If there's really nothing terribly wrong, he or she will help you realize that and you can go on living the sort of life you choose, rather than trying too hard to live as you think others expect you to.  Easiest way to get started is to visit your county office of mental health and ask to speak to an intake person.  Don't be afraid of telling the receptionist why - that helps them set you up with the right professional person.  And don't wait - get your questions answered and get on with your life.  Good luck!  Man, I'd love to be in Arizona right now, instead of wet, chilly ol' New York State!  You lucky, yo!
465604
Here is a little story that might help you. It has helped me many times.\n\nWhen I was younger I would notice that my Grandmother always had people coming up to her saying hi and so on.\nI asked my great aunts after my grandmother  died why this was. They told me that everytime she went to a party and notice people that looked uncomfortable she would walk up to them and start talking to them and finding info about them. By the time she got done talking to them they were no longer uncomfortable.\n\nKeep Smiling if that happenes again try this if you still feel uncomfortable make a polite excuse and leave. If you are invited back to a party at that persons home I do not think I would attend.
98396
Everyone i guess, always gets the feeling of being lonesome. It usually happens when you tend to act on your own and it seem that you don't wanna trust outside. You lock yourself in your own world. TRY TO OPEN UP TO LIFE; TO THE WORLD itself.Celebrate life at the moment, by seeing the presence of others. Once you do this , you will find people around you who accept you, recognizes you and loves you just the way you are.
733742
perhaps you have a guilty conscience.  I don't think everyone, everywhere looks at you strangley.  People have much better things to do with their time.  You have anxiety.  You need professional help if you think that.
977901
You probably have an underlying issue about something.  What you say and do to others are just a reflection of what's hidden inside you. Others are just a mirror reflecting what you feel about yourself. \nI would say try meditation.  Meditation will help you feel calm and be accepting to the things around you.  There are many books on amazon.com that teach you how to meditate.
414907
You should probably see a psychologist he can perscribe something to you to calm you down so you can relax and not stress!
893610
Is he this way even meeting other people?  Some people have a phobia of socializing.  They don't know how to act around people and it stresses them out so much that they would rather avoid it.
498304
It's got nothing to do with the other person/people - it's just that your bad day has stressed you out so much that you become oversensitive to the slightest bit of extra stress (the stuff that you wouldn't even notice on a good day) and you can't control your already overloaded nerves from making you feel like they're goading you!\n\nOn the other hand, there are some real a**holes who love to wind people up till they blow - the best way to deal with them is be sickly sweet to them - it confuses them AND exposes them as nasty pigs to everyone else around!
179297
Everyone is uptight because they are trying to cram too much into too little time. It's stress, and I doubt it is going to get any better. That doesn't mean they can't be nicer, because pretty much everyone is in the same boat. The only thing you can do is try to set an example. Maybe if you are kind and patient it will make someone's day easier, and because of that, they will be a little nicer to soemeone else.
389692
Most people find it hard to make friends when they're trying to appear to be someone other than themselves.  The true part of you, the part that makes you different from everyone else, is the part that can be loved.  If you're hiding that part out of fear, then no one can get to know you.\n\n\nAs hard as it sounds, you've got to learn to relax.  You can do this by finding things that YOU like to do, and join a club or take a class in it, or go where people gather to do that.  Then you will meet people who share your interests; and you will also have something to talk about besides the weather. When you start having fun, people will be attracted to you naturally.
439025
It sounds like you lost yourself, and all your stress is stem from the responses from people around you, do something for yourself and do it in a way that you love it with a purpose and forget about how others would think.
556144
Sometimes. I dislike the amount of effort I feel I have to exert when meeting someone - whether they are new, old or permanent fixtures.\nI am quite self concious and social events are a nightmare to me. I'd rather curl up with a book or a movie any day!\nThen again, every now and again I'm struck by bouts of an excessive need to be sociable  - I kind of get my fill every few weeks or couple of months and then I'm sated for a while and content to meander about in my own little bubble.
391089
Finally--an interesting question...thank you!! It actually made me think.I had never really thought about that before,but upon pondering it,I do believe that may be the case.When I was working at home all day,I longed for human interaction at times--so that I would be ultra friendly to people when I did venture out,to the bank,grocery store...wherever!!Just I guess to TALK to someone.My nature is friendly anyways,but I think even more so then--when I was in solitude more often.
861615
I usually feel insecure in front of people.  My ears droop, my tail hangs between my legs, and I crouch down.  Sometimes I even lay on my back with my feet in the air and whine.\nNow my dog is gregarious and sometimes aggressive when confronted by something strange.
229691
Probably the same reason I do.  I have a hard time being out going.  But you can work on it.  Just asert yourself, people WANT to be around you trust me I know.
980563
Well it can affect your relationship by basically keeping you away from those who care for you. Generally speaking; when one is suffering an anxiety attack they want to be along. Closing out others isn't deliberate action; but a way of cooping with the attack. Its very much so a challenge to be around others when you may be sweating, your palms are wet, shortage of breath, crazy thoughts of panic, etc. I've had anxiety attacks and people thought I was on drugs. Well that's a hard pill to swallow. However; there was a time I had someone in my corner when I had an attack and I was the better person with them right there with me.