Need some advice about sister's marriage?
817017
Miss, don't judge all marriages by your sister's.  The reason people get married, and STAY married is that most marriages ARE happy.  Certainly not perfect, but reasonably happy.  Yes, there are horror stories.  Yes, some marriages are hell on earth, but most aren't.  Without knowing your sister, I've got to say that if she is newly married, and tells you to stay single, her marriage isn't going to last, and probably shouldn't last.  I advise you to love your sister, and wish her luck.  Don't bad mouth her husband, because that isn't what she needs.  Let her decide her future for herself.  Heck, they may work things out and grow old together.  Now, I don't suggest you ignore bruises etc, but unless you have real concerns for her physical safety, let them figure things out for themselves.  It's great that you care about her, and natural that you tend to lay blame for problems on him.  Just keep being her big sister, and love her.
240395
Hello sweet little sister QuietWarrior.. :)\n\nLord God, You see our little sisters plea..We are to train our child in the way they shall go and when they are old they will not depart from it..Amen!\n\nYou and your husband must let her live on her own..you are not helping her by doing everything for her..she is no longer a little girl, but a grown woman, she must start acting as such..I know from first hand, I had to tell my son, that he could not longer come home when he wanted to..he is now taking care of his little girl and he is a GREAT father..\n\nIt will be hard at first, but God will grant You His peace that passeth all understanding through all of this..He hath for me.. :)\n\nI am here for you, if you need someone to lift your loved ones up in prayer or just to listen.. :)\n\nIn Jesus Most Precious Name..\nWith Love..your sister In Christ..
554480
There are so many gaps on so many levels so let me lay out  your options:\n1)let's say you end up with her in the end - you will destroy relationship with your uncle forever. She may betray you the same way she is betraying her husband at present once she gets bored with you (betraying in this case is defined as giving you hints that she is interested in pursuing some kind of physical relationship with you)\n2)you end up with her in the end, and because she chose to leave her husband, children will probably stay with him. She will never forgive herself for making that mistake and will secretly blame YOU later for all her misery (give or take 5-7 years later) - not sure if you are willing to carry that burden in years to come.\n3) you look in the other direction and realize that she is older than you and probably wants to experience the years she's missed while busy with family and children (assume she married young and had her children quickly). you will be much happier later and other opportunities will come your way trust me. on the other hand, you may choose to have a one time fling with her and both of you move on with your lives (this way she would regain her sense of reality and you will just get lucky :). The question is how are you going to look at each other during family gatherings later on...\n4) not sure about her husband, but if he's violent type, family betrayal could justify some of the worst consequences. \n5) my advice, you have seen nothing yet. Life is just coming at your full force and please do not close the doors when it knocks. Acknowledge your feelings, we all feel tempted at some point in our lives but you need to carefully consider all options (including feelings of other individuals who would be directly or indirectly affected by your decision to make a move in this case), before you take action.\nGOod luck and hope you keep us updated.
678532
My advice would be to wait a little longer (just a couple of months) before asking to have her hand in marriage.... but that's just me. You may come on a little strong if you ask her now and that may put distance between the 2 of you if she isn't ready for it. Something that you could do is find a way to bring up the topic in conversation and see if you can get her opinion on the subject (just to get an idea if she is on the same page with her emotions before actually popping the question) or see if one of her sisters can ask (or girlfriends) what her opinion may be on the marriage subject. But regardless of what your decision may be I wish you joy and happiness in the future..... and I really hope that the 2 of you do get married.
808151
Something is going on between your sister and her husband.  At Thanksgiving, be very observant of what's going on between them.  If you get the opportunity, pull your sister aside and let her know you're there for her no matter what.  DO NOT ask her what's going on or why did she bring him there.  She may not be able to or want to tell you what's going on.  From this point forward, do not judge her actions or decisions, but let her know you'll be there for her and stand by her no matter what and that she can depend on you.  \n\nIt won't be easy for you, but try not to pass judgement.  Be civil and polite to her husband.  Take a deep breath and just hope and pray for the best and be the best sister you can be for her.  Good luck.
1012565
Amen to daveowenville!\n\nTread carefully when considering divorce. Are you still in another country? I don't know what Singapore's laws on marriage are like so you best get to studying up on those. Get to know what your legal options are. Can you really be sure that her sister was telling you the truth? Communication is really key. Look into what is going on and find out the facts before you make a big decision like this than "can" wreck lives.
435442
Hm, I have to say that depends largely on how is your relationship with his family (particularly with his sister). If you really care about them, (you really shouldn't have sex with him in the first place. You're so young...!) you should come and talk with her. \n\nApologize first. Admit that you'd done wrong.\nMake her understand why you did it. (Your boyfriend should talk with her too) How you feel about her brother and that it is normal that her brother is going to belong to someone else (that is, his wife).\n\nIn time (especially if she has a bf on her own) she would understand.\nBut assure her that nothing will ever change how her brother feels for her, and how YOU feel for her.\nAND remind her that it IS a wrong deed, and she should never follow your step.
2971
It is not a sin, actually it is perfectly fine and has been done by many people.  Your relationship to her is exactly the same as your brother to your brother's wife.
806623
Cut the man off, keep the sister.\n\nGuys come and go, and as messed up as it is on the other sister's part, when it all comes down to it, all you really have in this world is family. When the sister you know is going through problems with guy after guy, the sister will be there through it all. \n\nYour friend needs to take it as a lesson that her sister cannot be trusted around her boyfriends, do what is necessary to make ammends, and kick the dude to the curb.\n\nIt's hard with kids, but would your firend want her kids doing the same thing to their wives? Kids learn by example, and even if they didn't see or realize what happened this time, if he is doing it now he will do it forever. At some point the kids will be old enough to realize what is going on, but naive enough to think it is OK, and then what??\n\nAs hard as it is, she has to move on; plenty of people have done it--she can too, especially with your support.\n\nHope this helps :)
718149
sorry cant say anything you don't know our fill. my self been twice married to the same women and same thing happened again. you want to put all your faith into someone and they don't have the same feelings.  15 years for me in a relationship that i thought we had gotten past moving on, oops wrong but i do think that its all in a plan so brother or sister keep the ultimate faith that its all for a reason. i will say a pray for you and for anyone that feels that they have no one because he is watching over us at all\ntimes and testing us.  so if you stop having the faith nothing good can became of the lost faith of others. don't know if this is of any help but know u are not alone. keep the faith and stay focused on your life and not of someone that has no faith in the powers up above.  your path is not easy but don't make it harder than it needs to B. sounds like you have a kind and loving heart don't lose it. \n\nbless u and all for the prayers that we al need\n\ngood luck\ng
813870
You will need a legal opinion on this.  I'm neither a lawyer and I won't  to go to the law library to research this for reasons stated below.  Your best bet is to have your sister contact legal services organization in your area. You didn't mention which state you are in, the laws may vary from state to state.  Your sister may also want to contact the school system.  There could several complications here like the terms of a divorce settlement.  Sometimes divorce settlements even specify which parent is going to pay what portion of college expenses.  \n\nIf your sister can afford it she may want to hire a lawyer.  It's best to get one who specializes in family law.  Otherwise, she may want to contact a legal services organization or other organization who offers legal help to the poor.  \n\nFurther, it should be considered what is psychologically best for both of them and the whole family.  It might be a good idea to bring a family counselor into the situation.  A legal solution may be made but it will be of little value if the parties involved are hating each other.  \n\nYour sister should look into this herself unless you are trusted by both your sister and your mother.\n\nIf she is interested in going to college she may be able to get early admission and financial aid which she can live on.\n\nI suspect what is really needed, more than anything else, is some form of family counseling.  \n\nGood luck and God Bless!
1134343
H E L L yea you should tell her.  I mean MY GOD it's bad enough that you slept with the guy, that shows how much you care for her, but to allow her to marry someone that obviously doesn't care for her.  What kind of sister are you?  I wish I knew you personally because I would personally kick your a s s  and tell your sister.
828927
Your brother-in-law is a misogynist, he has a deep rooted hatred of women. Your sister is probably being verbally and physically abused. both of you should get away from this sick puppy.
658096
let your wife be the one to put her foot down about the money...sorry, but they won't listen to you bec you're not their dad.\n\nmom must remain firm...don't listen to the whining. Hopefully you 2 have decided  that they leave the nest when they graduate. You have the right to expect some privacy in your marriage, esp. since he's old enough to be on his own...and she almost is. Sister will hopefully go on to college...sounds like a smart girl with a future.\n\nsupport your wife and stand by her. help her remain firm. she's given them 18 long yrs...long enough.
812246
My sister has been happily married for 26 years, they got married at 19, my parents flipped when they found out they were engaged, but by the time the wedding date rolled around they had come around to the idea and made the day a happy one, my brother in law is now adored by them and dad considers him his son.\nTell them soon to allow them time to adjust and remember not to get angry at them, it is your life but you are still there baby.
513050
I don't think it's nasty at all. I do think it's important to decide what about your younger sister getting married is making you jealous. Getting caught up in the wedding details can be pretty exciting, I too find myself wistfully looking through Bride from time to time. It's important to remember that everyone must live life accoring to their own timeline. If she feels she's found her life partner in 18 years then I wish her the best of luck. If you're happy with where you are right now and who you're with then don't sweat it...enjoy your guy, help pick out the cake, and enjoy yourself. If nothing else you'll know better how to get prepared for your own wedding after all this. =)
853110
"Various Reasons"  I will trust you when you say none of them are serious.  If I were you, I would put my foot down once and for all.  Tell your Mom and your sister, be nice about it but firm,  that you do not appreciate their back stabbing regarding your wife-to-be.  Tell them you love them all, but you are not going to put up with any more of it.  And if they love you, they will have to make the effort to accept her as well, because YOU love her and that should be reason enough.  Tell them that disrespecting HER is like disrespecting YOU.  And you do not want them to do it anymore.  If they are reasonable people, they will listen and abide.  If they are not, I would simply make myself scarce when it comes to visiting your mother and sister.  Harsh as it may sound, they will get the message and eventually lighten up on your beloved.  CONGRATS on your upcoming wedding and GOOD LUCK!!