How can I stop myself being being a vain and shallow?
825260
To study the self, forget the self.\nTo forget the self, is to be enthralled and  by all things..
207606
Do not change except to change how you feel about this silly girl. She doesn't seem to respect you much at all from the sounds of it.Learn how to really like who you are!!! Rejection can make people doubt themselves and who they are.that can be natural at first,but you have to let it go.You must like yourself better than anyone,and enjoy being who you are before you can know what woman will be right for you. The one who accepts you as you really are is the one worth the wait and your time. hang in there,and be good to yourself. Do what you love to do,and enjoy being free while it lasts!!! Best wishes to ya'!
183348
Learn about yourself. We all have special gifts and talents that we can share with others. Celebrate yours. If you have flaws that you think you can change, take steps to change them. Choose to be ok with what you cannot change. \n\nEvery day, take little steps to appreciate being alive. Yesterday, I saw a pretty painted piece of wood, I had a lovely conversation with my neighbor and I had a tasty piece of bbq chicken. Look for your little joys.  Smile and say hello to everyone you see. Make it a point to go out and find people to be near. \n\nLove and be kind to yourself.
507294
Make a list of things you LIKE about yourself.  Read the list every morning when you first get up and each night before you go to bed.\nWhat I did was force myself to come up with 3 positives about myself every time I thought of a negative.\nIt does work.
319270
Dear, I used to have low self-esteem over my weight too. I ballooned like a hot air balloon when I was a little younger.\nIt mattered so much to me because I was worried what others might think of me, that others would laugh at me and looked badly at me.\nIt mattered that I had a crush on one of my classmates once - I never told him nor took it any further than just treating him like eye candy and a good way to get motivated for school and my studies, but I was so self-conscious whenever I was around him I tried to basically time and 'control' every move I made, everything I said according to how I'd be perceived by others.\n\nAs a result of that, I became like a clown. Do you know why? Because instead of letting my inner beauty and personality shine (which many of my friends have complimented me about - isn't it a suggestive hint?), I made myself like a sideshow freak, doing whatever I thought would gain the approval of the people around me, to gain their acceptance. I even tried to go on a diet, not because I wanted to lead a healthy lifestyle, but because I thought he'd prefer a slimmer girl!\nLater, a year or two later, I became frustrated with what I was doing. Before this crush, I had been self-conscious of myself, but I was also a loner and an extreme introvert who went everywhere alone and did everything alone. Because of that, I never had to 'pretend' to anything or anyone as there was nothing to pull a facade to!\nThat freedom was very fulfilling in a sense. But I wanted to have a small network of friends I could rely on too, and as I matured I realised that keeping completely to myself and shutting myself out from the rest of the world wasn't going to do me any good in the future.\nSorry for digressing, as I was saying, I felt so frustrated, what was I doing? It was so exhausting to just go around pretending to be something I didn't want to be! Hell, if I wanted to say 'screw you' to someone I didn't like what should be stopping me? Because I don't want to look 'bad' in front of others, or because it's impolite?\nInstead of focusing on what others think, try to focus on yourself.\nWhen I became less self-conscious, and slowly, (don't have to rush it, do what's comfortable for you), added more of my own personality, myself, to show everyone, did you know what happened?\nI realised that others thought I was "cool" despite being a little chubbier, because I was nice, but I had my own attitude, my own 'thing' going. That people admired, because that's the same shackles (being self-conscious and having low self-esteem) many of them are stuck in!\nI made more friends. I knew who were the good ones and the bad - usually they're the ones who stick by you in times of need and not hang around hoping that being around you would earn them brownie points with others.\n\nMy crush never confessed that he liked me, but close sources to him (I had lots of guy friends.. they help to infiltrate the 'guy world'. Most of the time, the guy world is men only. Even if they'd like to admit me in it'd break the rules cuz I'm a girl, haha :P) and myself leaked to me and it turned out he HAD developed a crush on me, but he was too shy.\nHe was a popular guy in the school.\nLater, he kept giving me glances, kept 'bumping' onto me during the strangest times (I was a weird kid. I hung around after school hours just 'haunting' the corridors, taking in the scenery from the balcony, thinking of new ideas to write a story or draw something, sat in the classroom after school to draw/study/write, etc. Very reclusive. But I enjoyed it.) because normally, after school hours, there'd be a stampede to get out of the school. AND he was never known to actually stay back for anything.\nHe found a zillion ways to talk to me and joke with me, and we became friends. He's still a friend, but of course, the old crush is gone
907237
You just need to boost your own self confidence a bit. Think to yourself that you are more then worthy and the best thing out there. When you believe this there will be no problem.
146933
Just be yourself and don't worry about ignorant people who think they are better than you. These people have to degrade you to make themselves feel better. Let them call you names, joke about how you function in the world, and laugh at your personality,etc., it's just their way of turning the spotlight away from themselves because they are afraid if you look too closely at "them", you may find a few flaws. If they would turn on their brights, they would realize everyone is different; has bad points and good points; and acceptance brings people closer. Maybe they are just sooooo unhappy, they want to drag you down to their dungeon to suffer with them. Try extending an olive branch or making a peace offering, and if that does not work, forget about them, do your own thing, and sooo politely tell them to kiss your arse.   \nP.S.  I am a Redneck, shhhhhh....don't tell anybody!!(:
410209
you have a very low self-esteem... but the good thing is, you KNOW you have potential, you'll just have to have faith in yourself... why don't you try something that would make you use your talents/potentials... for example, if you can act, then go and do an audition to a play or something... or if you're good at school, try applying for a scholarship program... in that way, when you get to achieve a certain goal of yours, your selfesteem will be increased... love what you are doing, love yourself... take risks... its part of living... sometimes, we have to fall in order for our body and heart to be prepared and be strong...;o)
625077
Look at yourselF in the mirror everyday and Find one good thing to say about you.  Then say it out loud.  Surround yourselF with people that love you and care about you.
956772
Be confident and true to yourself. If you know your own worth, you exude better vibes and people see and are attracted to that. Don't let his response affect your self-image...so he doesn't like you...you do and so do many others.
526470
Tired of being the shy person in the back of the crowd? Become the center of attention at an easy, personalized pace! \n\nSteps \nBe confident. Tell yourself that you have great qualities, and don't let anybody bring you down! \n\nSet goals for yourself. Focus on small, daily goals, and gradually become more daring. E.g. try to speak at least once every class period. \n\nIntroduce yourself to new people each day. Most people are nice and will be welcoming to your advances. It is also great practice for more daring behavior, such as talking to cute people. \n\nHold close bonds with your friends, they can be there for you when you crack out of the shell! They'll be glad to help. \n\nTry doing stuff you never dreamed you would. For example: Talk to that cute boy in study hall that you thought would never notice you. Wear something very flattering and colorful to show what a fun person you really are! \n\nLaugh often, at your own jokes and those of others. It will help ease any tension you may be feeling. \n\nLie on your bed and take 3 deep breaths. Then visualize a situation where you might be shy. Now in that situation make yourself confident. Do this for as many situations as you can think of. Do this daily. Do this in the morning. \n\nRepeat positive affirmations using I statements. " I am a wonderful person". "I am a good looking person". Do it even if you don't believe it. Do it daily. \n\nMake a list of things that make you feel shy that you want to try and work on. Order them so that those things that cause you the least anxiety are first and those that cause you the most anxiety are last. Once you have a list of 10-15 stressful situations start working through them, one-by-one. The first few "easier" situations will help build your confidence so that you can continue moving to more difficult situations on your list. Don't worry if you have to go backwards on the list sometimes -- take it at your own pace but do make an effort to push yourself. \n\nTips \nThere's nothing wrong with being shy, but there's nothing wrong with being outgoing either! \n\nDon't go overboard, and just be yourself! Life isn't a competition! \n\nShyness is sometimes seen as classy. \n\nDon't be afraid to seek professional help -- group counseling, individual counseling, and therapy can help you along the way. \n\nIf you are intelligent enough to know when to keep your mouth closed, then there is no advantage to being shy. Rid yourself of shyness, you'll thank yourself later. \n\nOften, being shy is a result of feeling inferior to or otherwise "less than" other people. Think about it, this is almost never the case. A positive self-image is the key. \n\nWarnings \nIf you were known for being shy amongst family members, watch out for the harmless teasing. They mean well. But don't let them scare you back into your shell! \n\nSame goes for people at school, if you are still at school. Some may be uncomfortable with you existing outside the categeory they've put you in, in their own minds. Ignore them.
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Create daily tasks to improve what you see and what you feel. Start with quick wins, then more difficult ones, etc. Have three different kind of goals: short term , medium and long term. Do not despair.\nMy question is if you cannot "like" yourself: how can you like someone else. I understand somehow that you feel lonely.\nGood luck, mate. Be a winner!
4357
what makes u think u have "low self esteem" ???
714195
Just be yourself. Everyone is beautiful in their own way.  You dont worry what other people think about you.
330504
Before you can begin to improve your self-esteem you must first believe that you can change it. Change doesn't necessarily happen quickly or easily, but it can happen. You are not powerless! Once you have accepted, or are at least willing to entertain the possibility that you are not powerless, there are three steps you can take to begin to change your self-esteem:\n\nStep 1: Rebut the Inner Critic: begin to challenge the negative messages of the critical inner voice\n\nStep 2: Practice Self-Nurturing: begin to treat yourself as a worthwhile person.\n\nStep 3: Get Help from Others: you may need the help of other people in the present to challenge the critical messages that come from negative past experiences
682037
You are absolutely right especially if you're still in a young age. No make up could cover up the flaws of a human selfishness or spoiled brat, if you know what I mean.\n\n Try to develop self confidence by reading a lot, joining other activities that invigorates your mind and body as well as eating healthily.
742718
Honey, honest to God, try having some dignity.  That's hardly something to which you should aspire!