What if the family of your boyfriend obvusely doesnt like you?
829784
First off, if he is under 18, living at home with his parents, they have parental rights to his coming and going, not who he is involved with but his study time at home seeing that his schooling is being adequately taken care of.  It is not your responsibility.  If he was not spending time with you it would be someone else.  Your breaking up with him will not keep him studying if his parents do not use their authority as parents to see that his studies do not go neglected.\nSecond, if he is in college living away from home and they are footing the bill, it may seem to them that his involvement with you may jeopardize his studies. If this is the case step back and look at the situation yourself, is all his time and thoughts wrapped up in your relationship?  Is his grades suffering because you two are seeing too much of each other and he has no time to buckle down and really study as he should?  Think about your future with him. If he fails or drops out of school because of poor study habits it would put a strain on your relationship financially and he may very well blame you, as would his family put the blame on you.  The two of you need to sit down and work out a schedule that includes his study time.  If your mature enough to be in a relationship and in love then you need to plan long term with all aspects of the relationship, not just the now part.\n\nThird...the real answer to your question. My spouses family never approved of me. I was 13 years younger and never good enough for him, in their eyes.  To say it didn't bother me would be a lie, it did, but I never let it interfer in our relationship. I went to family gatherings and held my chin up. I never put them down to him and our relationship lasted 20 years.  I became a friend to his mother and one of his sister-in-laws but that was all, the others, as far as I know today, still dislike me or have nothing to do with me. I don't lose any sleep over it and my life is about as happy as it can be.  So don't let them intimidate you.  It is your BF that is important and the one in which you will make your life with, not his family.
918398
well you could talk to your family and explain that you really love her. if they still don't like her and if you are dead sure that she loves you and that she can break her engagement without any problem, then i guess you should stay with her. because it is YOU who will love her and  not your family. and if you can persuade them that you will be happy with her then they should be tolerant and accept the situation. i could also tell you to face your family and fight for your love like they do in movies but this is unrealistic. i have faced a more or less similar situation some years back. i was in love with a boy. he is hindou and i am christian and my parents disliked him. i love my parents very much and i didn't want to hurt them and see them sad. so i broke up. but this was my choice. today i'm still alive and waiting for the perfect guy if ever he exist at all. i dn't know if i have regrets. what i mean is that the choice is yours and no one else's!
579250
Now, that you have established he is shady and going to embarrass you by tell all confessions to his relatives why do you want to have anything to do with him. Are you in line to become a hot lunch? Find somebody who is mature and won't break your heart and ruin your reputation.
438360
I am in that situation too. I really want to meet my boyfriend's family too and don't want to be too pushy. I know that he doesn't want me to yet and don't know why. I would say maybe he feels that he is not ready for this step yet. He wants us to know more about each other first and then meet our families.
334182
if your family has a problem with him, you have to decide who your loyalty will go to. WHY does your family dislike him? Usually family disapproves of people they dont consider good enough for you..at least thats the case with my family.\nI would hesitate even if i loved someone. Giving up life as you know it, your family, everything for just one person is a huge step. I dont think i could do it without a committment of some sort.
519457
I GUESS UR FAMILY IS THINKING THAT U MIGHT GO ASTRAY IN A RELATIONSHIP. IF UR MATURE ENOUGH U MIGHT UNDERSTAND IT. IF U R CONFIDENT ENOUGH GO FOR IT.
328395
You're marrying her..not the family. Yes, families can cause problems in relationships, but if both of you sit down and talk with her family, maybe you can clear things up. Get their viewpoint on the issues that are bothering them but make sure they listen to yours as well. The family more than likely will not disown her....but it's a very good threat for someone who's hurting.
30787
gurl tell him straight up that family comes first so if u want to be treating my bf and cuzin like crap well then u can get the steppin cuz guys like u come a dime a dozen
1114732
That is just inviting problems, deception and breaking trust in your family unit. He has some serious issues and needs some counselling. I would never accept it. No wonder he isn't getting any love from his family, they don't trust or respect him.
1018055
You are a bad man, you should let your family arrange something.. You are going to shame them all.
944409
Yes...I think so.  Show them love and effort to get along with them and in time they may come to love you or atleast get along with you.  You should not force your boyfriend into a situation like this because it hurts him to choose between people that he loves.  Atleast make an effort, and I promise that he will  love you for it.  It never hurts to try as long as you examine your heart and make an honest effort.  I am saying a prayer for you!
73080
Ok, so I had this problem too. My friend told me that I should tell them that they aren't my type. That way, you aren't exactly telling them what you specifically don't like about them. Or you could make him break up with you by making yourself unattractive or doing things that he doesn't like.
798829
Move out and move on.  You are obviously not happy with him and you need to do what is best for you.  Be positive and strong and discuss the situation with your family.  Good luck.
292878
Depends why you think this is neccessary.  Does your family not like your guy?  Or does your guy not like your family?  You should consider why your family/your guy is asking to give up the other.  If they loved you they should be willing to except your love or your family.
119699
It's unfortunate if you are put in a position where it is necessary to choose.  The only way to weigh the question would be to see which side is forcing the choice:  I would favor the side that is not pressuring.  If you love someone that your family disapproves of, try to honestly hear their reasons why they disapprove, and evaluate those reasons as objectively as you possibly can.  If a loved one is trying to draw you away from your family, listen carefully there, too:  does your lover have reasons for feeling your family is not good for you, or is it just selfishness?
1149114
If your family is insisting that you cut all ties with this person there must be a good reason. It is very difficult to watch someone that you have watched grow and taught to be a strong and independent individual be crushed by a co dependent relationship. your family only wants the whats best for you. And although you may not see it at the moment, there will come a time when you realize they are only trying to save you from pain and heartache. They must be seeing more bad than good to be the outcome. Think about it, is this person really worth you possibly ruining a bright and happy future with a friend or significant other that won't give you heartache? Just remember not only is it hurting you but it is also hurting the people who love you the most, your family.
165937
I guess this really comes down to who do you love more- family or boyfriend?\nSome family, especially Chinese families, emphasize on how the boyfriend treats the girl's family to determine if that is "good hubby material".  Because that shows how he will treat their own family, if their daughter is married to this man.\nGirlie, why don't you just tell him what you think? Ask him to be nicer to your family, because they mean a lot to you.  Don't demand, just ask nicely, ask him to TRY for you=) If he says no to your nice request, you might have a different view on him then;) GO GIRLIE!