ohhh yes another blonde joke?
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I would laugh..but I'm busy trying to slide down this drainpipe with a Martini in my hand :)
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A blonde heard that taking a bath in milk makes you look beautiful. So she left a note to her milkman telling him to leave her 15 gallons of milk. When the milkman received the note, he thought that there must me some mistake, so he knocked on the blondes door to clarify the order.\n\n"Excuse me, miss, but...is this request written correctly?"he asked.\n\n"Yes it is," replied the blonde."I'm going to fill up my bath tub with it.\n\n"Would you like that pasteurized?"inquired the milkman.\n\n"No,"said the blonde. "Just up to my waist."
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A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do.\n\n"Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"\nThe blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?"\nThe man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch."\n\nA short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.\n"You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. "Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."\n-the funniest blonde joke \nI knew a blonde that was so stupid that.......\n\n* she called me to get my phone number.\n\n* she put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind.\n\n*she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order.\n\n*she sent me a fax with a stamp on it.\n\n*she tried to drown a fish.\n\n*she thought a quarterback was a refund.\n\n*she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death.\n\n*she tripped over a cordless phone.\n\n*she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.\n\n*she asked for a price check at the Dollar Store.\n\n*she studied for a blood test.\n\n*she thought Meow Mix was a CD for cats.\n\n*when she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved.\n\n*when she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 bus twice instead.\n\n*when she took you to the airport and saw a sign that said "Airport Left" she turned around and went home\n\nDid you hear about the blonde that... \nCouldn't learn to water ski because she couldn't find a lake with a slope.\n\nGot excited because she finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months and the box said "2 to 4 years"\n\nCouldn't call 911 because there was no 11 on any phone button.\n\nWhen asked what the capital of California was; answered "C".\n\nBaked a turkey for 3 days because the instructions said 1 hour per pound and she weighed 125.\n\nAfter losing in a breaststroke swimming competition, complained that the other swimmers were using their arms.
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I think it is a very cool joke.I thought it was cute.Me and my friend are both blond and we think it is ansome.I don't think any blond should think it is dumb.It is just a joke.
562738
not yet....is she a real blonde?
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Joann, keep them a coming, I enjoy these jokes your sending us. I will be passing them along. LOLOLOL *~* lololol
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Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a solar powered calculator?\nA: The blonde works in the dark!\n\nQ: How can you tell if a blonde has been using the computer?\nA: The joystick is wet.\n\nQ: What does a blonde put behind her ears to make her more attractive?\nA: Her ankles.\n\nQ: What do you say to a Blonde that won't give in?\nA: "Have another beer."\n\nQ: What do Blondes say after sex?\nA1: Thanks Guys.\nA2: Are you boys all in the same band?\nA3: Do you guys all play for the Green Bay Packers?\n\nQ: How do you make a blonde's eyes twinkle?\nA: Shine a flashlight in their ear.\n\nQ: What does a screen door and a blonde have in common?\nA: The more you bang it the looser it gets.\n\n Q: What does a blond and a beer bottle have in common?\nA: They're both empty from the neck up.\n\nQ: What do blonds and spaghetti have in common?\nA: They both wriggle when you eat them.\n\nQ: Why was the blondes' belly button sore ?\nA: Because her boyfriend was blonde too.\n\nQ: How do you get a blond out of a tree?\nA: Wave\n\nQ: What do peroxide blonds and black men have in common?\nA: They both have black roots.\n\nQ: What does a blonde owl say?\nA: What, what?\n\nQ: What do you call a zit on a blonde's ass?\nA: A brain tumor.\n\nQ: What do you get when you turn 3 blondes upside-down?\nA: Two brunettes.\n\nQ: What's the Blonde's cheer?\nA: " I'm blonde, I'm blonde, I'm B.L.O.N....ah, oh well.. I'm blonde, I'm blonde, yea yea yea..."\n\nQ: Why did the blonde scale the chain-link fence?\nA: To see what was on the other side.\n\nQ: Why did the blonde fail at being a prostitute?\nA: Because she gave blow-jobs literally.\n\nQ: Why did the blonde smile when she walked the marriage aisle?\nA: She realized she gave her last blowjob.\n\nQ: Why do blondes give such good blowjobs?\nA: Because that's what they train for all their lives.\n\nQ: Why did the blonde tattoo her zip code on her stomach?\nA: So her male would get delivered to the right box.\n\nQ: Why did the blonde have tire tread marks on her back?\nA: From crawling across the street when the sign said "DON'T WALK".\n\nQ: Why did the blonde keep a coat hanger in her back seat?\nA: In case she locks the keys in her car.\n\nQ: Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet?\nA: So she wouldn't wake up the sleeping pills.\n\nQ: Why did the deaf blonde sit on a newspaper?\nA: So she could lip read.\n\nQ: Why did God create blondes?\nA: Because sheep can't bring beer from the fridge.\nQ: Why did God create brunettes?\nA: Neither could the blondes.\n\nQ: Why did the blonde wear condoms on her ears?\nA: So she wouldn't get Hearing Aides.\n\nQ: Why did the blonde drive into the ditch?\nA: To turn the blinker off.\n\n Q: Why did the blonde try and steal a police car?\nA: She saw "911" on the back and thought it was a Porsche.\n\nQ: Why didn't the blonde want a window seat on the plane?\nA: She'd just blow dried her hair and she didn't want it blown around too much.\n\nQ: Why did the blonde stop using the pill?\nA: Because it kept falling out.\n\nQ: Why did the blonde get so excited after she finished her jigsaw puzzle in only 6 months?\nA: Because on the box it said From 2-4 years.\n\nQ: How do you confuse a blonde?\nA: Ask her to alphabetize a bag of M&Ms.\nQ: Why does it work?\nA: "Does 3 come before E or does it go between M and W?"\n\nQ: Why did the blonde call the welfare office?\nA: She wanted to know how to cook food stamps!\n\nQ: What is the blonde's favorite potato chip?\nA: Free-to-lay (Frito-Lay).\n\nQ: What is blond, brunette, blond, brunette, ....?\nA: A blond doing cartwheels.\n\nQ: What is the connection between a blonde and a halogen headlamp?\nA: They both get screwed on the front of a Ford Escort.\n\nQ: Did you hear about the blond skydiver?\nA: She missed the Earth!\n\nQ: Did you hear about the blond who had two chances to get pr
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My favorite dumb blonde joke:\n\nDumb blonde on a 4 engine plane hears the captian say "folks we have one engine out, there is going to be a 1 hour delay"...a few moments later he comes across again "engine 2 is out, that's going to be another hour delay"...they fly on for a couple more hours again the captian comes across "engine 3 is out, 1 more hour delay"...the dumb blonde jumps up and says "Damn, hope engine 4 doesn't go out, if it does, we're gonna be up here allllll day"
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ok this blond walks into a best buy and theres a sign that says no blonds so she colors her hair black because theres 90% off some of the new stuff there.........she walks in and asks how much is this tv? the man at the desk say ur a blond so plz lev now.......so she gose colors her hair brown and gose asks a different person and she says how much is this tv? and that person knows that she was a blone too and asked her to lev once more............she thinks to herself and she thought that thy remembered wat she looked like so she colors her hair red and makes herself look like a rocker but comes bake the next day and asks someone different how much is that tv overthere and he says ur a blond plz lev as he walks her out she stops and asks him how do u know im a blond? and he says thats not a tv its a microwave.............
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By far, best blonde joke I think I've ever heard. (it is long)\n\nCertain words have been changed to protect the censors.\n\nOkay so it's Dec. 24th and a postman is starting his walking route. He comes to the the first house and opens the mailbox and there is a envelope inside that says "mailman" on it. He opens it, it's a $10 bill with a note that says have a nice Christmas. He proceeds to the next house and there is a card that says "mailman" which he opens to reveal $20. He thinks to himself, "Wow, this is going to be a good day!" He comes to the third house and there is a note: Mailman, knock on the door for your Christmas present. He knocks and the door swings open to reveal a beautiful naked blonde woman. She grabs him, pulls him inside and well... anyway, the censors are watching, but you get the Idea.\n\nAs he is putting his clothes back on the blonde woman disappears for a minute into the kitchen and brings back a tray with a huge breakfast on it. Biscuits, gray, bacon, eggs, the works. He's like WOW, thanks and proceeds to eat it. \n\nHe glances at his watch and says, thank you, but I have to get going. As he is moving to the door the blonde hands him a dollar and says Merry Christmas. He's looks at the dollar and then at her and says no thanks, 'maam, you've done enough! She says, oh no, you have to take it, it's my husbands idea. The mailman pauses, "You husbands Idea?" "Yeah," she says, "Last night I asked him if I should do anything for the mailman for Christmas and he said, 'screw him, give him a dollar,' breakfast was MY IDEA!"
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I like blonds. I do not believe that they are stupid. Some blonds like them too.\n\n\n\n\n# Mom is dead!\n\nA blonde goes into work one morning crying her eyes out. Her boss, concerned about all of his employees well being, asked sympathetically, "What’s the matter?"\nTo which the blonde replies....."Early this morning I got a phone call saying that my other had passed away."\nThe boss, feeling very sorry at this point, explains to the young girl. "Why don’t you go home for the day.....we aren’t terribly busy now. Just take the day off to relax and rest."\nThe blonde very calmly states......"No, I’d be better off here. I need to keep my mind off it and I have the best chance of doing that here."\nThe boss agrees and allows the blonde to work as usual.... "If you need anything, just let me know."\nWell, a few hours pass and the boss decides to check on the blonde. He looks out over his office and sees the blonde hysterically crying!! He rushes out to her, asking,\n"What’s so bad now........are you gonna be ok??" \n"No......" exclaims the blonde. "I just got a call from my sister. She told me that HER mom died too!!"\n\n---x---\n\n# Want me to paint for you?\n\nA blonde was recently fired from an M&M factory for throwing away Ws and peeling the shells on the candies. Therefore, she needed a new job to support herself. After going around town asking if anyone needed work done, she found a man who needed a painter.\n\n"I'm here for the paint job," she said.\n\n"Alright," said the man. "Here is the paint and your brush. I want you to paint my porch behind the house."\n\nThe blonde immediately went to work painting. Within an hour, she was done and decided to put on a second coating.\n\nAfter she finished, she returned to the man for her pay. She said with satisfaction, "I not only completed the job, but I even put on two coats of paint! By the way, that isn't a Porsche out back. It's a new BMW.\n\n---x---\n\n# Are You Really Sure?\n\nA blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender, "Wanna hear a blonde joke?"\n\nIn a hushed voice, the guy next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, you should know something."\n\nOur bartender IS blonde, the bouncer is blonde. I'm a 6' tall, 200 lb black belt. The guy sitting next to me is 6'2", weighs 225, and he's a rugby player. The fella to your right is 6'5" pushing 300 and he's a wrestler. Each one of US is blonde. Think about it, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?"\n\nThe blind guy says, "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."\n\n---x---\n\n# Three blonds on death row\n\nThree women are about to be executed for crimes. One's a brunette, one's a redhead, and one's a blonde.\n\nTwo guards brings the brunette forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready . . . Aim . . ."\n\nSuddenly the brunette yells, "earthquake!!" Everyone is startled and looks around. She manages to escape.\n\nThe angry guards then bring the redhead forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready . . . Aim . . ."\n\nThe redhead then screams, "tornado!!" Yet again, everyone is startled and looks around. She too escapes execution.\n\nBy this point, the blonde had figured out what the others did. The guards bring her forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She also says no, and the executioner shouts, Ready . . . Aim . . ."\n\nThe blonde shouts, "fire!!"\n\n---x---\n\n# In the bus\n\nTwo bowling teams chartered a Double-Decker bus to go to a tournament. One group was all blonde one group was all brunette. The brunettes rode on the bottom and the blondes on top. The brunettes we
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Blonde jokes are a class of jokes which make light of the stereotype of the blonde woman (or, more rarely, blond man) as unintelligent, sexually promiscuous, or both. Like all humor based on stereotypes, blonde jokes are found offensive by some people. However, they tend not to be as controversial as racial humor or other forms of dark comedy. Many are, in fact, variations on racist jokes that have been adapted specifically to make them less offensive.(source 1)\n\nAnd also, there is the stereotypical "valley girl" that were caught a lot on video tape in the 80s and they just happened to be blonde in most of the media coverage.  And those girls for whatever reason wern't too bright.
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A girl came skipping home FROM school one day. "Mommy, Mommy," sheyelled,\n"we were counting today, and all the other kids could only count to four, but I counted to 10. See? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6,7, 8, 9, 10!"\n"Very good," said her mother.\n"Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy?"\n"Yes, Honey, it's because you're blonde."\nThe next day the girl came skipping home FROM school. "Mommy, Mommy," She yelled, "we were saying the alphabet today, and all the other kids\ncould only say it to D, but I said it to G. See? A,b, c, d, e, f, g!"\n"Very good," said her mother.\n"Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy?"\n"Yes, Honey, it's because you're blonde."\nThe next day the girl came skipping home FROM school. "Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we were in gym class today, and when we showered, all the other girls had flat chests, but I have these!" And she lifted her tank top\nto reveal a pair of 36Cs.\n"Very good," said her embarrassed mother.\n"Is it because I'm blonde, mommy?"\n"No, Honey, it's because you're 25"\n \n \n(hint: The girl is Pamela Anderson)
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Q: What's the Blonde's cheer?\nA: " I'm blonde, I'm blonde, I'm B.L.O.N....ah, oh well.. I'm blonde, I'm blonde, yea yea yea..."
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a blonde is driving down the highway in her car. she sees another blonde in the field next to the highway, rowing aa boat. she gets out of her car and says to the blonde in the boat, "what are you doing out there in a boat?"\nand the other blonde says, "this is like, a sea of wheat, duh." and the blonde by her car says, "it's blondes like you that make blondes like me look so stupid. i would go out there and kick your butt right now, but i can't swim."\n- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - \n a blonde and a brunette are on top of a building. if they both jump off, which one will hit the ground first?\n\n\nthe brunette, because the blonde would have to stop and ask for directions.\n- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -\n  the pope told 3 nuns to go out and commit a sin. the first nun goes out and steals a car. she comes back to the pope and says, " i stole a car." the pope says, " drink from the holy water and you will be cleansed." so the nun drinks from the holy water and she dies. then the second nun comes back and says, "i robbed a bank." the pope says, "drink from the holy water and you will be cleansed." so she drinks from the holy water, and she dies. then, the 3rd nun comes back and says, " i poisoned the holy water."\n- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
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awesome joke man....\nheres one 4 ya....\nbe an individual...just like everyone else
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That's the best joke I've heard on this site in a LONG time!\n\nThanks for the laughs! Keep up the great work!!\n\n(Gotta remember this one for the folks at work!)