How can I be married and still feel as if my ex has my heart?
813123
Sometimes you have that connection and other times you do not. In my opinion that could be why you and your current husband may be having a bad connection because you are still in love with your ex, even though I do not know more of your situation. Been there done that. The heart wants what it wants and even though you and your ex are still not together the realtionship that you guys had togther will always be in your heart. That is until you decide to give your husband now that part of you heart, which it seems you are not willing to do right now. Hang in there everything happens for a reason. Good Luck.
1131342
You can look at it two ways.  Before you were married is before you made a commitment to each other or if he did it once he will do it again.  Not to make you feel worse than you already do, I have been where you are and thought it was before and dosn't count  believe me a leopard doesn't change his stripes and the first time is the hardest.  If it happened once it will happen again.  Learned it the hard way  D
304948
I think it is possible.  When I first met my wife, I fell head over heels in love with her.  She is everything to me and I want nothing else and nobody else.  She is a treasure.  I'm sure that, at some point in your life, you will find someone you feel the same about and will feel that way about you.  Hang in there!
619680
You don't have two personalities what you do have is a part of you that desires intimacy and affection. I think you are torn between your values and your emotional and physical needs. I have to commend you for your commitment to your marriage but how do you do it if he is so far away?  As much as you have all the best intentions I can't imagine having my husband in another country it would make me feel like i wasn't married. Does your husband have plans on coming home soon? If he doesn't and you do find the courage to separate from your husband it does not mean you didn't try to make it work or did something wrong. Unless the way you feel right now changes. If the need for an intimate relationship still haunts you, you have to seriously consider moving on so you can be whole again.
340129
Honey, i know it feels awful, & i know no words can ever compensate u, but plz let GOD do his job, marriage is fate & if it is fate to marry him , it will come 2 u even in 100 yrs. Try to 4get, give urself the time, do stuff , do ur best, call ur gf & go out , excercise, & beleive me by time u 'll 4get. Good luck baby
1059086
Honestly, I'm not a marriage counselor or even close to it.  To me though, it sounds like maybe you and your husband aren't as connected on an emotional level if you ask me (which you did, haha).  Maybe the reason you feel this way for someone else is because you've lost those feelings for your husband.  I know it's hard, after marriage and two kids, but it's important to stay physically, emotionally, and mentally involved with each other.  Just try things like going on dates with your husband.  Try to reconnect with him and remember all of the reasons why you married him.  Maybe your husband has a great personality, wit, and a beautiful mind also.  Maybe you just need to remind yourself of it.
894478
First of all, love is not a feeling. Love is not about feeling happy or not feeling happy with our spouses. If not being happy at the current time was a reason for divorce, then, we'd have even higher divorce rates.\n\nIt seems you can immediately help yourself by making the decision to be in the moment with your husband as fully yourself. Don't hide yourself, don't pretend to be something you're not...but just be your genuine self.\n\nIf you are feeling this way about your marriage, the chances are good that your husband may be feeling some of the same feelings.\n\nLove is a decision to be committed and to stay committed. Love is a commitment. Be committed to being your honest genuine self, and be committed to being in your marriage as your genuine honest self.\n\nIf you can do this, your relationship is bound to improve. If not, then you can think about other alternatives. But till then, I'm afraid you haven't earned the right to leave
1055080
You are not weird and I don't believe that you are ready.  People will try to tell you that it's just "cold feet"-there's no such thing.  You either want to get married and cannot wait to begin you life with that person or you don't.  If you are depressed and having doubts about doing this then you need to tell him now.  You know that what your gut is telling you is the right thing, you just don't want to hurt anyone and you're afraid that once he's gone that you will be lonely.  Think about how you will feel if you marry him and five years down the line you look at him and think I don't love this man and you want your freedom and you have two kids---Don't do it to yourself.  It's better to hurt him now, you be a little lonely than it is for you to hurt him, yourself and others later.
1036383
Lots of people experience this. Often these kinds of feelings can cause us to act in ways which are not in our best interest.  (e.g. to perpetuate a dysfunctional relationship because we like the way another person makes us feel some of the time.)  Ask yourself: Why is he my *ex*-boyfriend?  Something in the relationship wasn't working for one (or both) of you.  Is there chance that that problem can be overcome and resolved permanently?  Try to look at your own self, and identify ways which you might like to grow as a single person.  You don't actually need this guy, even if it feels like you do.
889108
the sooner you convince yourself that you refuse to feel agitated over something that has no future anyway, the sooner your broken heart would heal. i suggest whenever you miss him, remind yourself that he left without even saying goodbye to marry some bitch and that you should be mad for that. also, try to focus on the good side of your husband, appreciate what you have instead of wishing  for something that's not yours and would never be yours.
293632
That is good you got it off your chest an guess what he feels the same way let it be can be taking two ways first of all we both are with someone so lets not do anything about how we both Feel. Second its like this if both of us are to get together let it happen lets not push it you have more to lose in this fling being that you are married just\nstep up to the plate and ask him about how he feels about what you said an what ever his answer live with it
212570
Its obviously possible, because you are feeling that way. Are you newly weds? If so, maybe you just aren't quite comfortable with all that yet. You should wait until you two feel comfortable.
1047025
Nope. I married someone that loves me and cares for me so deeply. I did love him once, but he killed my love....now that I am married I realized that I hate myself for not following my heart. Its not fair to try to make someone happy and living a fake life that you may not feel. Trust me. I can't get out of it, and each day gets harder and harder.
905094
Feelings are funny things.  They can be there one day, fade the next.  There is a lot that goes into feelings that human's don't understand.  The experts think it's a combination of things, including pheromones, the way someone looks, the way they act and behave, and people's receptivity to a relationship.\n\nI have been in love many times, and the feeling has almost always faded after a while.  With my wife, the feelings have not faded, they have grown deeper, if not more intense.\n\nIf you still have strong feelings for the person, don't fret over it, and enjoy your time together.  If either of you feel whatever you have fade, that's okay.  You can't force your heart to love someone--you either do or don't.  It's rarely personal, so if your feelings are still strong and his fades, be grateful for the time you've spent together and move on.  If your feelings start to fade, let him know, be grateful for the time you've spent together, and move on.\n\nEither way, enjoy what you have!
629935
Maybe you should try talking to him about how you feel?\nThere is a possibility that if you feel like the "spark" is gone, he feels the same way too.\n\nJust because the spark is gone doesn't mean you need to break up, it could just mean you need to do something to bring it back. I think a lot of relationships and marriages these days end because they're based from attraction and the 'new relationship tingly feeling'\nAfter you're with someone for as long as you've been with him, and longer, you tend to get into a routine, and the original feelings you've had disappear.\n\nLong-term relationships take work.\n\nI suggest talking to him about it either way.\nMaybe you'll both mutually feel like you want a change.\n\nIf you do end up hurting him, don't feel to bad about it, as long as you communicate with him, and are mature about it, you'll both be able to move on. :)
1030441
It sounds like You are in a lot of pain, I have felt this same way over and over again in my life, here are my tips maybe they will help... 1st calm down, and think about when you  two first met, 2nd find a nice time to calmly discuss your feelings with your mate, be careful of your words, but tell him how you feel. It doesn't sound as if you don't want any thing bad to happen to this relationship so don't mention the bad word "divorce". Also take a day for your self, go shoping with a friend or just cudle up with a good book, and remember everything will get better, ok good luck , I really hope this helps You. Marriage and Love is worth trying everthing ( and remember if this stuff dosn't work consider coucling, it is worth it).
293081
I married the perfect guy, but I still feel something for the man I was suposed to marry. I've contact him after 11 yrs and he is still mad at me, besides we have an ocean between us, and I dont want to leave my hubby! wilmary69@yahoo.com