please help my ex and current wife hate each other,how should i handle this?
812890
Your best bet is to get clear on what your "rights" as a parent are - remember, the mother of your child (your "ex-wife") has those same rights.  Your wife (non-mother) of your child has "no PARENTAL" rights---that's why the school could say what they did.  The school has to answer to the PARENTS of the student and, of course, the law.  The "law" guarantees the "rights."  Call your attorney and get clarification.  Invite your wife to attend a meeting with your attorney so she won't be so upset when your ex-wife exercises her parental rights because she is one of the parents.  It's good that you continue to try to smooth things over.  For your son's sake, you and his "mom" need to be on the same page.  He lives with you and his mom all the time...but with his step-mom part of the time.  I can understand that your wife is upset about the picking up at school...but let's turn it around.  How would you feel if your ex-wife had a husband that wanted to do a ton of things with your son including picking him up from school and he wanted your ex-wife to tell you off.  Sounds kinda crazy when you think of it that way, huh.  It IS great that your wife does things with your son!!!  Give her many, many thanks and praise.  Keep in mind what is best for your son and not your wife.  Giving his mom respect will do more for him than simply doing what your wife wants---but may not help you much in the cuddle department---that shouldn't make a difference though, if your wife is doing things with your son to 1) be nice because she is or 2) help take the load off of you.  If she's doing it to spite your ex-, you've got a bigger problem on your hands than you realize.  May not be answers you were looking for.  Pray about it if you pray, that is.
13166
I am divorced two years now and get along with my ex for the the sake of my child. We both have put aside our differences and work together to assure our child is given the best environment possible. We talk about any decision that will affect our child and work it out. We are both good people, just not compatible together......we do it for the love our child. You have to!
902504
Hi been there and it is horrid dont argue with your hubby about her as she obviously wants to destroy the marriage and using a child is low Play her at her own game and stop trying to be super woman her hubby doesnt want to lose his son and she knows it why not go and have some you time when he sees his son for an hour she will panic my hubbys ex made my life hell for years but she didnt win and you are a winner as you have him and she dont smile sweetly with perfect makeup and be civilised it works
151466
WOW! What a situation...The advise given above is very good...You sound like a Christian, ( you chose my answer about "if today was your last day. etc". So, first of all, as you already know, prayers are a neccessary part of the answer. Pray very hard to keep your distance from the wife. That would really complicate matters, and you have a chance here, to show strength, in spite of "obstacles". As some of the others have said, move ASAP! When the arguing starts, either pray, read the Bible, try to talk to them and tell them how they are affecting everyone else, especially their kids. Remove yourself from the situation, call some other friends and go out, etc. or even take their kids somewhere fun. \nThis couple needs some real help, (Why does she stay wtih him, if he's messing around? ) Suggest that they get help, or temporarily split up, as the kids must be seeing some horrible behavior. Why do they fault you for their problems? If you feel like a time bomb, ready to go off, you gotta get outta there!!!\nGod must have allowed you to be in this situation, so you could do some good here....think of it as a "test or trial"... but do the right thing, stay out of their problems, and find somewhere else to live, as soon as you can.  Best of Luck, and God bless you...
649133
Tough situation.\n\nI, as one who's been there and done that, can only say you have to do what's best for you. My ex has been married for 19 years to the woman he fell in love with while we were married. I had to leave him in order to move on with my life and have never regretted it. We were not always friends but, in time, managed to find common ground for the sake of our children. \n\nYour child may or may not understand, in the beginning, but time heals all wounds. The main thing, where your son is concerned, is to make sure he understands it has nothing to do with him. Children have a tendency to absorb the guilt when their parents break up and you have to be prepared to deal with obstacles where he is concerned. Never leave him or his feeling out.\n\nThe marriage is obviously through and your wife seems to think she can keep you through your guilt. She knows you well enough to know this will hit a nerve and has no problem trumping you with it. That, in my opinion, is deceitful and manipulative. This being an indication of what the rest of your lives together must be like.\n\nI guess what I'm saying is, everyone will go task for this and the pain will be there no matter what, so why prolong it and take the chance of asking yourself, in years to come, "What if..."\n\nYou are obviously a kind and sensitive person who still cares about your wife as a person and as the mother of your child, but often this is not enough. A loveless marriage is a prison you can only wonder about being freed from. True love is something rare and beautiful. Cut your losses, let your wife go on with her life, without you, where she may have an opportunity to find true love which is obviously missing in your relationship with her.\n\nEach of you is responsible for your own happiness. You should grab yours while the opportunity is there. Your wife may choose to be bitter and angry or to be understanding and to put the child's happiness and welfare first. She is obviously not going to take it well, so be prepared for whatever may come.\n\nYou may think you'll feel nothing, but the break-up of a marriage is always emotional no matter the circumstances. Be sure you are prepared to deal with this aspect as well. Be sure not to leave your true love out of the emotional conflicts you may be going through during this time. You need to be able to share your true feelings with her and she needs to understand where you're coming from.\n\nGood luck and love. :)
510097
Stay away- Trying to make contact will only make the situation worse.  Don't give her ammo.  It is hard but you have to play it by the law, for now anyways.  Fight for joint custody and go from there.  Let your wife go, for your childrens sake.  The children need to see a healthy happy father.  You know you tried and did what you could and that is what is important.
658545
I'm so sorry you had to hear that. There's really no clear way you can cope and deal with that. Is there no more possibily of a reconciliation or anything? If that's the case, then just let her go. It'll be hard, but I'm sure you wouldn't want to be a hindrance to her happiness.\n\nPray for strength and guidance and focus on your kids. Be strong for them. \n\nGoodluck.
263479
File for divorce . . . do not mention it . . . in the documentation for the divorce . . . fight for majority of custody of the children.\n\nGrounds . . . mental abuse . . . of both you and the children.  Because she uses the children as pawn . . . thus mentally abusing you and the children.  You loved her . . . tried to make it work . . . but her hostility is just growing and you worry about the mental health of your children.
1132736
HOW TO KILL THE EVIL COLD HEARTED ,LIFE SUCKING BIT** X WIFE OF MINE \n\n\nYES I DO HAVE ISSUES
583657
Often when a relationship is over the rose colored glasses come on and we only remember the best times. If this relationship is truly over with no chance for reconciliation do this; Think of all the things that annoyed you about the person, or the pet peeves you couldn't stand. Trust me, no one is perfect so dig down deep and write all those uglies down and keep them close by. When the ex creeps into your mind read those things about them and remember. You may always have a special place in your heart for them, but it doesn't mean you can not or should not MOVE on! Trust me, my son's father I thought I would not be able to BREATHE without him but I wrote down all the ugly things and never forgot them. We are now platonic friends, he is married and so am I and we will always be connected because of our son but I like the way it has all played out and honestly, If i could get back with him I Wouldn't. Good Luck. "Time Heals all wounds."
377724
Nasty problem that you will not be able to solve. Your ex sound bitter and bound and determined to punish you for something or other. Unfortunately, all you can do is remain constant in your affection for them, and hopefully, with time, they will see things as they really are...no guarantees...they may or may not turn against you ... time will tell. But, no matter what you do, what you say, if it is negative towards their mother, they will swear their mother is right. IF, on the other hand, you are sympathetic towards the mother's plight, do not bad mouth her, and, in gereneral, behave nobly, your chances are slightly improved that they will come around. Been there. IT is a very sad thing when one parent uses children to "get even" with another...all concerned are badly damaged, including the offending parent...but that is of no consolation to you. You have my deepest sympathy in this...I have seen this happen time and time again. Such a waste, and seriously sad. You are in a loose-loose situation, short of gaining custody ... and that won't happen unless you can prove she is unfit as a parent. Good luck.
1129018
Move out immediately. If she loves you, she will move with you. It isn't the ex that is the problem, it is your perception of him that is making a mess. It doesn't matter what she and her ex did, it is none of your business, just as your past is none of her business. Either take it or leave it. I live with my ex, and have a new love living with me...there are no problems in my household (that I am aware of, anyway).
388796
Work on what got it to that point. I had my wife cheat on me. And I left. It took all I had to do it. We have had alot of problems since then, basically I don't feel like she shows me respect or respects me. Point is it depends on how your husband feels about you. I would take my ex back in a heartbeat if I thought she really wanted to work it out and really felt bad about it. In this situation you'll have to eat alot of crow but if he loves you he'll work with you. Good luck I hope it works out.
783330
I personally think you have made a smart move and are taking responsibility for what is yours. I would NOT stay with or talk with the ex girlfriend. (why mess up what you are trying to recreate). I can understand why you were made at your wife, but she is your wife and more importantly the daughter is yours.
528147
Of course you can move on.  And for your sake, I hope you do it real soon.  You were a whole person before you got married, and you still are a whole person now.  Depends on who has custody of the kids, as to how much you can change her bad mouth.  If you have custody, than head for the court, again.  If not, you are just going to have to "suck it up".  \n\nYou might check with a lawyer (yuk! hate to say that) or get legal advice, to see what your options are.\n\nMain thing is to be glad that she is living somewhere, and with someone else.  Let him enjoy her wonderful company, until she screws around with a new man.\n\nI have to say to you, be glad this jerk is gone.
1014286
Find a real man & be glad you & your ex can get along so good.It sounds like you two put your kids 1st & thats how it should be.
1025688
Oh, nooooo....  Sounds like your husband needs to grow up and not listen to anyone but his new wife.  The situation you expressed is not a healthy and normal one.  He needs to step up and tell his ex to butt out and to tell his family that he will tolerate no more judgements from them.  What happens between the two of you is your business only.  Best of luck.