Is it better to be caustic and angry or quiet and passive?
832320
Hi SimAlex--how about a suggestion from an Old Dog? (Just kidding.) These two aren't your only choices! Taking what you express as opposites, angry or passive, I wouldn't be either way.\nAnger is a waste of time, & passivity is, well, submissive, lacking in initiative. Yet when appropriate a little seasoning of "caustic" works, as well as there are times to be quiet. It so much depends on the situation with these last two. There are no "absolutes," do you think??
277463
only if I am not angry
677605
Contention, as in the contention of ideas, can be very constructive, but losing your temper is almost always a bad idea. Knowing yourself well enough to recognize the warning signs, and being able to control your own emotions help greatly.
914202
Aggressive would be my first choice, because it include the same suffix (-ssive)\n\nAssertive, attacking are other possibilities.
170302
being shy and passive...I think things would be totally different for me if I wasn't so shy. I'm starting to grow out of the passive thing.
440678
this is not the appropriate advice but....\nscream back! you will feel better, if you both scream and make ass*s out of yourselves I think making up is more fun, that and at some point if you are screaming back at him, he will realize that he too is screaming and then see that it's not accomplishing anything.
1167439
usually i would back off and let the angry person be angry and get the anger off his or her chest.... whoever it might be coz, a person who is angry usually is too tense to deal with.... after the person cools off then you try to talk and get the problem that the person is facing and try to help or solve it together.... it might be you that caused the anger so you might as well try to not make this person angry again...
400528
It just depends.  If I'm happy then yeah being a little but just a little aggressive is cool.  But if I'm unhappy and just not in the mood it will out me over the edge.
514514
I would have to say more slow and steady.  I analyze things alot before I take action.  Fear of making mistakes I guess.  Hubby is the opposite though.....he is a spontaneous sucker...really messes with my analytical side when I don't get a chance to weigh the pros and cons before he acts!\n\n:-)
283844
Yep. I believe anything is possible. Especially this. I used to be very angry myself. Anger management classes didn't work. They pissed me off even more. But through years of therapy, and counseling i learned how to find happiness within myself, and find other more positive healthy ways of expressing myself. I learned that it's okay to be angry. Everyone gets that way whether they want to believe it or not. But anyways, yes of course you can always change yourself. I found peace in writing poetry. and listening to relaxing music. So that's what i do when i'm flustered. I write how i'm feeling. It may be some ugly and harsh poetry but in the end i feel alot better. So what i would suggest is find something you like to do, and find peace in that. Good Luck to ya.
777254
write in the passive and not active voice.
935736
If someone has done something to hurt me,I let them know but am still able to be civil towards them in future encounters.But I believe strongly in communication.If I just don't care for their personality,I am very civil to them because it is my problem why I don't like them,not theirs.Theirs no need to act ugly if they didn't do anything wrong to me.
108132
I would probably want myself to be a lot less quiet. I have probably missed out on countless friendships, relationships, etc. just because I can't summon up the strength to do so. Plus, I don't usually feel very compelled to speak. I have been getting better at making conversation with people lately, but I'm still very quiet in general...
996815
It gets easier as you get older.  First rule:  you can THIINK anything that you want of anyone you want; just don't let it out of your lips.  Next, focus on what the person is saying:  maybe it's constructive critisim, maybe it's true.  Third, ask yourself, is this worth my time and worry???  Is it truly worth wasting my breath when it's not going to make any difference anyway if I'm angry?  I'm only hurting myself here.  God Bless
862403
u r doing the right thing. if you "talk", your opponent can blame you for distracting him. I find that complete silence is even more irritating to your oppenent because they know you are being quiet on purpose. also, always stand or sit out of the oppenents line of vision. that gives then the creeps because they keep thinking you might bump them accidently, or ever so lightly on purpose. don't do anything that could bother your opponent. it will backfire.
245959
i used to swear alot because i was surrounded by people who swear when i worked in a factory about 10 years ago.  Training to be a teacher soon stopped the swearing...but also i heard a young woman saying 'F off' to someone and even though she was saying it in a fun way, i just realised how awful it sounds and it gives other people the wrong impression of the type of person you are. ( I do still swear occasionally but it depends on the time and place and i make sure i am not overheard by strangers, with certain friends and as part of jokey conversation swearing can be ok, it is after all just another sound that comes from our mouths to form a word just like all of the other sounds form words too. \n Think of other ways to vent your anger. Exercise can help reduce stress levels . Try and avoid getting to the point when you are so angry you swear, so if you need time out from a situation then take it. Evaluate how much it helps you to get so angry, does it make a bad situation better or worse? What actions could make it better?\n Shouting and swearing are a way of displaying to others how you are feeling and help you to vent your anger. When you get angry your body produces adrenelin getting ready for 'flight or fight' ( to run away from danger or to fight it) try running on the spot really fast ( if you can do it in private) and this will help to use up the adrenaline and stop you feeling worked up and shakey...i do it and it really helps. Maybe take up yoga or something relaxing like that. Good luck, I really admire your ability to recognise your faults and be willing to change. You will do well.
1023917
I remember always thinking people thought i was sensitive and I thought i was moody because of it.  What i have learned and i don't know if this goes for you but it's a shot, is that it wasn't that i was sensitive it was that i wasn't effective with telling people how i really felt.  I wasn't assertive enough. My feelings would get hurt easily and then i would get moody. I use to think having sensitivity was a weakness but i realized it is more of a blessing in a world where there are people who can be very insensitive.  Communicating effectively with the people around you will give you the confidence to not misunderstand what they are saying to you. For example, say someone says something to you that you interpret as hurtful, it is o.k. to calmly ask this person, what did you mean by that?  If they say Oh, I'm only kidding, calmly say, with confidence, i didn't fine that funny. Every situation, of course, will be different. If you practice being more assertive you will find that it is o.k. to keep your sensitivity and the moods will fade away.  Being sensitive is not a bad thing sadness and stress is.