How do I deal with a very insecure and jealous boyfriend?
819338
Ok, start small by telling him how you feel and ask him why he feels so insecure. If you really want to be with him that is. Give him one shot, if he fucks it up then drop him- don't tell him that, just do it.\n\nput it back on him. Tell him that you feel insulted that he doubts your feelings for him by getting jealous everytime you talk to a guy friend. Tell him that if a guy friend steps out of line, you have no problem with him stepping in (you don't have to tell him, just humor him to make him feel good at this point).\n\nTell him you fear for your relationship with him because it really bothers you and you don't want to fight about it. Ask him if there is anything you can do to make him feel more comfortable (be realistic, if he says something ridiculous then tell him not to act like a child and be serious) while not infringing on your privacy and your rights.  Find out why he is doing it, if it is just because he is controlling he will not change, if it is because of baggage, he just may.\n\nIf he doesn't make a real effort to change after that then I would say to get rid of him. He may have baggage, where a girl has cheated on him before so he is paranoid, but he needs to see what it is doing to you and that it hurts you. If he is not willing to change or gives you attitude when you talk to him NOT SCREAM or threaten him or the relationship then you should simply tell him that it isn't working out and you can't be together.
265300
Have you asked him what you could do specifically to ease his jealous mind? This is a hard thing for insecure guys, but I think you may need to boost him ego a bit. How about telling him what it is you love about him just out of the blue. Compliment him on his UNIQUE qualities that cause you to love him. It is very important that he feel that no other man has the qualities that you love in him. Once he knows that his is the only one you ever met that can make you feel the way you do, that should really help.
943667
Sounds like he has big trust issues, you should talk to him about your concerns, if not I would walk away..... Jealously can lead to violence
424140
There's no legitimate reason for someone to be jealous if they know the other person really loves them. Insecurity combined with physical violence is the number one reason romances fail. If he hits you once - leave. Otherwise make sure he knows there is no competion - for now at least.
895357
This is a sticky one. \n\nFirst, let's look at him. The fact that he lied is very troubling, but I can see why he thought it was a good idea. While he was disrespecting your wishes, he was also trying to stick with his friend while sticking with you. No, it's not a smart move, and his point about your insecurity is invalid (lying is just not ok because relationships are about trust), but it sucks for a person to have to choose between a significant other and a friend. I think you guys can work through this however. \n\nWhy do you dislike this female friend of his? Do you suspect that he's cheating on you? Is she flirtatious or touchy-feely with him? Is she just an unlikeable person to you? Or are you merely jealous and insecure? \n\nLet's go with the last question for a bit. You've admitted that you are insecure. Plenty of girls are like that, sadly; I think it's mostly from social conditioning (but that's a whole other Answer!). You said that every time he talks to another girl, you ask him if he wants to be with them. It's exasperating for a guy to hear that. He's going to start feeling as if there's nothing he can do to convince you that he wants only you. It's also exhausting for you because you will needlessly worry about losing him. This will put a strain on the relationship, maybe even cause it to break. \n\nTo me, this is the more troubling problem. It's difficult, even impossible, to change others, so we have to change ourselves. Look into getting help for your insecurity; this will make you an overall healthier person, and spread into your relationship with this guy. A quick Google search for "overcoming insecurity" yields some nice articles: \n\nhttp://www.coping.org/growth/security.htm\nhttp://www.pathwaytohappiness.com/writings-insecurity.htm\n\nYou may want to seek professional counseling as well. You'll feel a lot better overall if you can let go of the worrying over losing people, and start placing some trust in others. It will be a great relief (trust me on that). \n\nNow, let's go back to the female friend. They're probably "just friends," but if they way they interact suggests more, then you have a right to be a bit suspicious. Example: if they are too familiar and flirty with each other. \n\nThis is getting a bit long, so I'll just sum it up. You both need to work on yourselves and with each other to make this work. You should focus on overcoming your insecurity and learning to trust others. You should also respect his friendships, even if he's friends with someone you cannot tolerate. Likewise, he should be supportive of your self-improvement efforts, and stop lying to you so you *can* learn to trust him! It's very hard to trust someone when you catch them in a lie. He should also respect that you dislike his friend, and do things like not forcing you to be around her, not talking about something funny that she said or did, etc. If he won't work with you, then I doubt the relationship is worthwhile. \n\nLast of all, it's very important to remain calm and even-tempered. If you start crying or becoming too angry, he may reach for anything -- even a lie -- to make you stop and calm down.
343467
find another boyfriend who doesnt put you under such pressure!
268393
just play along with his little bi(t)chmade games...you're probably cute to him when you get jealous...that must get his rocks off.If he's not cheating then so what...take the other peeps advice,see what happens.Play a game similar to his,see how he likes it.Or pretend that you don't care,he'll probably try something else to annoy you...if that's the case then confront him and/or find a real "G" who doesn't play games....................
744687
In every case that I have saw, both men and women are jealous of each other because they are very insecure. Both should reassure the other that they do love the other. That they are not interested in anyone BUT them and MEAN it. Show them that they really do mean a lot to them. A relationship is a two way street, it is all about give and take. You don't treat the other good part of the time, you do it all the time, every chance you get. Sad but true, some people just don't ever understand how they should act toward their partner.They think just because you show them some affection here and there that is enough, wrong, show it to them all the time. Stay honest with your partner at all times, don't try to hide anything from them. You go hiding anything from them, they are going to start to wonder what else you are hiding. Jealousy is really all about being insecure.
885125
You may be intelligent and you may be in college, but you're acting very immature.\n\nDid you consider when you met his co-worker at the front desk that (1) she may not have known who you were (2) snapping at her to go get your boyfriend was a tacky thing to do (3) she may have a hot boyfriend and not be interested in your bf  and (4) your boyfriend may have cared only for you, but after your behavior in the place he works, I wouldn't be surprised if he's questionning his choice of girlfriends.\n\nThe first thing you need to understand is that jealousy is a blinking red light telling everyone you are major insecure. And the second point is that you are absolutely, 100%, powerless over your boyfriend, his co-worker, and every other human being in the world. \n\nOnce you accept those two things, you can start changing how you behave because, if you don't, you'll be single again.  And, even worse, you'll never have a healthy relationship with any guy.\n\nYou can share your feelings with your boyfriend, but in a calm discussion when it's the right time.  Your fear of loss is creating, by being jealous, the loss you fear most.  He may not have told you much about his co-worker if he's experienced your jealousy before.\n\nAnd, let's say it's worst case, and your boyfriend choses to be unfaithful to you, you cannot...cannot...do anything about it.  \n\nWhat you CAN do is make a choice not to be part of a relationship if your boyfriend  isn't committed.  Stuff happens, our hearts are broken, they heal, we meet someone new, almost always someone way better for us than our lost love.  And maybe that is the plan.\n\nNothing is going to be right for you, no relationship is going to give you what you need.  Only you can give yourself that.  Work on you.  You may still get your heart broken, but that's on the other partner.  You'll move on.  You'll always be powerless over people, places and things and the sooner you accept that in your heart, and stop trying to CONTROL, the happier, confident and secure in love you'll be.\n\nI hope you listen to my suggestions.  I'm a control freak who finally got that I'm wasting my time, hurting myself and others I love, and driving those I love away.  I learned to remind myself, when I felt the old evil eye of jealousy pop up that I'm powerless, that things will be as they are supposed to be, and start taking care of myself so I always have me to rely on.\n\nGood luck.
285604
if he's jealous now its not going to change itll only get worse. tell him that what he's doing is wrecking the relationship all of his jealousy and insecurities. tell him if things dont change and him trust you then its time to move on with your life if he wont chnge his ways.
239963
Don`t worry because I have the same problem with my boyfriend. I`m also glad that you believe him. You should just try to not get all that jealous. Its actually good that your jealous because you care for him and don`t want to lose him.
980815
Some guys want to be the center of attention for their girlfriends. Sounds like he needs more than you can give. Self confidence and independence can be intimidating for a guy too, so they may try to reinforce themselves by being controlling. Jealousy is a personal problem, there is a lack of confidence and trust.  I would be careful of this guy, hopefully he's not the violent type.
551931
spend some time with the boyfriend..even if you can't stand him. by you spending time with him and getting in his good graces, he'll feel less intimidated about you spending time with his girlfriend. be open with thim that you're not looking to cause trouble..he may respect you for that.
663986
Ohh god u really need some help. Firstly dont be scared for whatever he says, he knows u r decent enough and tolerate whatever he says for the sake of good reputation. So just make him look like a fool to himself. Do this step by step. Firstly when he scold u just say how much u want to scold me just do it, and l am just keeping my phone on my desk and do my work when u finish just hang out. Like this will make him gradually feel stupid. Always be nice with words to him this will make him clam down coz from ur question l feel making him angry is no use at all. Finally having a bf like this for ur future will be a big problem, so slowly get out from him even u loves him. This will be a big problem to u in future as no  trust nor any support to u from the man.
479236
Confront him! Try to get him in front of as many people as possible and ask him why he's lying about you. Say you know he must be a very insecure person that's why he always puts other people down to make himself feel better about himself. Then just walk away. He'll look a right idiot. Good luck!
161279
he's just insecure by the circumstances around him. according to me the most appropriate way to solve this problem to go on a weekend holiday or u people shud go on a holiday and spend time wid him. make him feel that u r always there for him. i m sure he'll start feeling better after this
394531
Girl, jealousy is an emotion everybody has just like anger or being happy.  Some people control it better or know how to not show their jealous feelings and others don't do so well.  You should communicate with him and make sure to let him know that you are feeling a little jealous and maybe insecure.  However, don't worry about it unless he is working past hours, or days when he should not be working.  Remember be happy, stay healthy and live life to the fullest.