I think my wife has Borderline Personality Disorder. How can I Point Her Toward Treatment?
820968
Well, first of all I commend you for understanding your wife's problem,  I've worked with people with Borderline Personality Disorder and it does keep you on your toes.  One of the significant symptoms that I know of with this condition is the ability to create chaos out of order.  It can be very stressful for those around the person who has it.\n\nMy advice is for you to get into counseling first so you have a safe place to vent your feelings and learn how to best deal with the drama your wife creates.  You cannot force your wife into treatment but maybe with gentle coaxing and acceptance, she may decide she wants help too.  Good luck!
399731
You may not be able to directly, she needs professional help.  You can help see that she gets it.
151140
Honestly, I see this as a need for marriage counseling.  Your wife is suffering from a mental illness that should be treated, either by medication or therapy or both.  In the meantime, she is not a psychologist nor is she a medical doctor and has no right diagnose you, not to mention she has no medical schooling for such a thing.  Furthermore, I think she is projecting her issue onto you.  You may be depressed but if you are it sounds to me like you are situationally depressed, not clinically.  But, I'm not a doctor and don't have you as a patient in any case so I couldn't swear such a thing.  The time for the counseling is RIGHT NOW though so make that appointment.  If you cannot afford it then you would contact your county mental health agency and they likely have a sliding fee payment plan so don't feel like the option of counseling is not available to you.
399610
You might want to check on a film called "Girl Interrupted", which deals with Borderline Personality Disorder.  Check here for review:\nhttp://www.soulselfhelp.on.ca/ginterrupt.html
709312
Immature!\nHow about talking calmly with her. It is her body after all, and even though you may not approve of it, this is a very addicting drug, and maybe helping her instead of playing get you back's would be better. \nShe is your wife, I assume you love her more then anything, be supportive and understanding.
304609
If you go to your doctors {Primary Care Physican} and let Dr. know your concerns thats the first plcae to be evaluated, and the doc can take it from there and either referr you to another kind of Doc or treat you.\nBest Wishes\n\nP.S.\nSince you have recognized possible bipolar please \n"dont let it control you and lean on it as a crutch through life..." \nmeaning dont blame everything on having  B P...\n\nI have a close family member-teenage years-and she tends to act out more than ever and always says I cant help it \nits B.P. \nI suspect she is using it as an excuse to get her way with mommy n daddy,\nshe is now at the dating age and wants to run off with her boyfriend and gets away with it cause she blames it on B.P.\n\nSo please dont let it control you, YOU CONTROL IT!!!
425783
okay first off, you have been married for 25 years so you should know how to be the sensitive husband by now. First off she just had a major surgery. Second her hormones are going crazy and are mostly likely non existant.  Finally she may be suffering from depression.  reproductive hormones are chemicals, just like many chemicals in the body their is the master system that tries to regulate them.  While many times outside sources (think toxins) can affect them, inside sources (such as deficiencies) can affect them but most of all they are affected by stress.  That is why stress is such a powerful advisary and while people with less stress are healthier and happier, becuase their chemical bodies are too... everything that happens in your body is the result of a chemical process.\n\nthe best thing that you can do is drop the sex talk, thoughts and conversation. Take any pressure off of her.  When you talk about it, persue her or ask about it is just reminds her that she is broken, makes her feel like that is your focus and reinforces her internal stuggles.  Drop all aspects of it for like a solid week... be very supportive and open with her discussing other things, specifically how she is feeling, what she is thinking and so on.  heavily encourage discussions, meetings with her women friends as most often they will not open up enough to deal with it to a man.  Women just have different communication some times.  I would say if you can keep this up for two weeks and she isn't doing any better in the attitude/ outlook/ perspective department (not the sex dept) then suggest she see a doctor as she may be depressed or suffering from traumatic stress... \nthis is what I would suggest.  But if nothing else back off of her and sex other wise it will only make it worse..
926521
Will she go to counseling with you? She said her feelings have changed. Well, doesn't everyone's feeling change as we grow older? You don't still have the giddy feeling but still love your spouse. Maybe when you were a stay at home dad, she lost some respect and thought she was more important and found she can supposrt herself and really doesn't need anyone else. Before you give up, try counseling, with or without her. Maybe you will decide you can live without her too.
181823
Assuming you mean OCPD and not OCD (as they are distinct diagnoses), there is no real treatment for the personality disorder, however your specialist should be able to advise you on how to deal with the effects so that you are able to focus on overcoming your other problems and maintaining a healthy and happy life
471592
It's all about love and forgiveness. If you love her and if you can forgive her (and let me say contracting that illness is punishment, you don't need to hold it over her head, she'll have a constant reminder of her affair now) If you can forgive her then stay with her help her through this. As the disease progresses it will sap her strength, her spirit, she will lose who she is after a while to this illness. If you feel that you cannot forgive her then you need to discuss that with her as well, maybe not leave her yet, but at least talk things out with your wife let her know how you feel. I imagine your torn right now or else you wouldn't be posting on this website, asking for others advise. Nothing anyone can say will be the right answer, all you can do is listen to your heart and do what you feel is right. Don't let the anger of her affiar conflict with the thought in your mind. Also, take into consideration her feelings if she has remorse good if not and she really doesn't care then it might be best for you to continue on without her. If you really feel you need outside advise, discuss this with a trained councelor or therepist. someone outside of the relationship who can shed a different light on the situation and maybe help you see things in a way you didn't before. Good Luck, Budda bless you, and Take Care.
823307
Were you aware of her diagnosis before marrying her and were you educated? I work with chronic mentally ill people and believe you me I know what you are talking about. It takes a very strong person to deal with BPD.  I have never seen anyone with BPD get better with age. They just learn bigger and better ways of getting attention. Very hard to deal with especially when they are in the world of "ME" that is how I describe them. They are worse than any 12 year old.  I think it depends on how much you are willing to put into this marriage and if you have the strength. I have a friend who stayed in his marriage for 16 years (has 11 yr old daughter he has custody of now) and I watched him suffer dealing with her being hospitalized and she was really abusive. He thought he was obligated to take care of her, therefore, neglecting himself. He is now divorced from her and still at times keeps in touch just to be sure she is safe. She is doing fine. They know how to get their way. Anyway, it just depends on you and how strong you are. Are you willing to live this way the rest of your life? Good Luck to you and God Bless!!!
57326
I think you should talk to a marriage counselor or psychiatrist before you talk to the third party.\n\nWhat is missing from your life or your wife's life or your marriage that a third party would fill?  Are you bored with each other and won't admit it?  Does your wife want to explore unsettled gender identity issues?  If so, there are ways to do that without dragging a third party into a potentially hurtful situation and potentially destabilizing your marriage.  \n\nI'm not trying to defend conventional morality for the sake of defending my own moral standards, I'm just suggesting you might be papering over or distracting yourselves from issues that should be addressed directly.  I also question the ethics of using someone for an experiment like this.  I know you're not coercing the woman, but are you sure you're not messing with her head?
922004
Therapy and medication if your therapist and you decide that is the route to go.  You are not alone in your diagnosis.  At least you know what the issue is, continue with therapy as long as you need to and don't feel bad for having BPD - it's nothing  you asked for, and nothing YOU can control.  God bless!!!!
67505
Getting involved in church activities and church members MAY help. Counselor may help. \nShe may be going through a stage. She may just be changing her lifestyle and like the person she is.\nTell her you love her, but cannot live with her lifestyle. If she doesn't come to her senses, let her go. You cannot change a person. Ask divorced people.
984502
My first suggestion would be to visit a psychiatrist or clinical psychologist that specializes in mood disorders.\n\nI am Bipolar and I've been under the care of a Psychopharmocologist who specializes in mood disorders and a CBT Specialist as well.  In addition, I've spent the last 6 months educating myself on the disorder, treatment and drugs.  I also attend group therapy twice a week in a clinical CBT group and also attend a BPD support group.\n\nBefore I started getting treatment, I was living a life full of rapid cycling (vast change in moods, can be hourly/daily/weekly) high risk behavior and never really knew who the real me was.  So you can say I was having an identity crisis and was suffering from bipolar depression.  \n\nSince being treated, I've been able to manage my condition and live a very productive and healthy lifestyle.\n\nIt's difficult to self diagnose, but if you're looking for an opinion, I would suggest visiting sites with good information on mood disorders and perhaps some discussion boards.\n\nI would also be happy to help if you want to send me an email.  \n\nHere are some helpful sites\nhttp://www.dbsalliance.org/info/aboutmood.html\nhttp://dbsa.invisionzone.com/index.php?showforum=6\nhttp://www.crazymeds.org/\nhttp://www.crazymeds.org/cgi-bin/yabb2/YaBB.pl?board=bipolarquestions\n\nGood luck
899371
No like i  said...she needs to be talked to..You really need to find out whats going on.. Maybe a split personality but not bi polar.
1076275
go with her to a therapist. maybe she has a chemical imbalance