Well, i'm a 22 yr old female having an affair with my old best friend.?
818215
On the one hand, it is perfectly normal to have a close friend you can turn to outside of a marriage just to talk about things from a different perspective.\n\nOn the other hand, when you are talking about more than friendship, if nothing else you should think about how your husband might feel if and when he finds out.  (How would *you* feel if you found out your husband was having an affair with an old friend, even someone you knew?)  The longer your affair goes on, the more likely it is he will find out, even if he is trusting enough not to be looking for it.\n\nIf what you really need is just a friend to talk to about things, someone you can just chill with occasionally, then by all means don't discard your old best friend -- but if that is what you really want, then stick to being friends.  If things are going further than friendship there then you need to ask yourself what it is that you really need besides another friendly face to talk to.... is it purely physical?  Is it emotional, the idea of extra attention?  \n\nIf something is lacking in your marriage, try talking to your husband about it.  Guys aren't real good about talking about emotions, but we are even worse at reading minds.  Your husband will be pretty slow to clue in that something's not right if you don't tell him.  --Besides, you might be surprised.  If the guy really loves you, chances are he will do his best to make you happy again.\n\nIf it isn't so much that you are feeling like anything is lacking in your marriage at all, but you just like having "something extra"... well.... how fair is that for your husband?  Being in a committed relationship means a certain amount of compromise and sacrifice -- you can't just go out and do anything you want regardless of your partner.  In a good relationship, though, the relationship itself is worth a lot more than what you have to give up.  \n\nIf your affair is worth more to you than your marriage, then maybe you should think things through a little more carefully.
381356
Date her, earn her love and mutual respect.  Invest time and emotion, and one day it will just happen for you.\n\nYou're probably looking for an easy answer, but sorry, life isn't always easy.\n\nIn the meantime, buy some porn and get cozy with your old friend lefty (or righty, whatever your preference).
257996
Well normally I would say run to the nearest exit and so on! However you've continued the relationship with this man, and what's more you've been best friends for a long, long time! That's a lot of invested time/energy/love. I can only assume that the lie you're referring to was a cheating on his part. You had decided to forgive him, but cannot forget. (If this is not so please give more details) Why do you want to leave him now, is he continuing in the same way? - If this is the case, RUN! If not, if you just can't forgive him - then you have to decide whether you can go on without his friendship/love/companionship whatever the case may be! One of my favorite quotes, which I found very true in my case is, "It's not that I can't live without you, but I'd rather live with you." All the best in deciding!
560611
That's not cool at all. I would have a problem with that too. \nI am assuming your best friend is a female. The messed up thing is that if you say something to one or both of them, they are still going to have that connection, they are just going to hide it from you.\nHow about you start suggesting that you and your man start spending time together alone, without your best friend and the same goes for you and your best friend.\nI don't know why the three of you are all hanging out together anyways. You need to learn early on that your man doesn't need to hang out with your female friends all the time. That's not a good idea.
613077
This was on Oprah today... Even tho they were married, but anyway...\n\nYes, your friend was not your friend.. A true, BEST friend would NEVER even consider it.  Give the "friend" and the "boyfriend" up and find new ones. You are better than that, and there are so many more people to meet! You are worth it!  Don't lower your standards for people who don't care about you and how you feel.  Never settle.  Good luck honey!
567875
Sometimes, as you grow up and mature, you find that your interests have changed, and that the connection that you had is no longer there.  The same thing happened to me when I went from grade school to high school.  The friend I had shared so much with was suddenly hanging out with other people, and we slowly just stopped talking.  Unfortunately - I never asked her what happened!  You may want to start by just talking to your friend.  I never even tried that. Now - years later the same kind of thing happened to me with a new best friend.  She and I met freshman year of high school and became best friends.  We hung out for many years after high school and then stopped talking (I got married, moved away, etc.).  When I came back to California - we struck up our friendship as if we had talked the previous day!  She is still my best friend, and has been for 30 years!  Good luck.
663870
slept with my best friend...she got me there that prankster
74037
Even though that answer by Jason was funny as hell, I don't agree with it.\n\nI think it's best that you come clean and tell your long-time friend how you feel about him.  If he ever ends up with someone else and makes a great husband or whatever, you will always punish yourself for him being the one who got away because you were too chicken to tell him how you felt about him.  You can mention to him how you don't want to ruin the friendship, but feel the need to let him know how you feel, and even if he doesn't feel the same way, you can maintain the friendship.  Look at it like the lottery slogan; "You can't win if you don't play!"  Also, it can go one of two ways, it can be the best relationship you ever had, or it can end, and you can remain friends, or it can end and lose the friendship, possibly.  I think you should go with you gut instinct and your heart.  Your friendship most likely won't end since you guys go back to the diaper years.  I really think you should take the chance.  Keep me posted, or if you have any more thoughts....gemfow@yahoo.com
380711
My best friend. She was someone who I developed a close bond with early in life, her sister and my brother dated that's how we met. We grew up together and had many wonderful and memorable times together. We were like night and day, have you ever seen the movie beaches that was one of our favorites. She was a very talented and a beautiful girl, she had a great family and she excelled in school. Her parents lived in a well known neighborhood and were active in the community. As she got older she started dating older guys which was gross to me because i had two older brothers and they forbid their friends to even look at me. Anyways my friend went down a dangerous slope. This went on from her high school years till sshe was 19. Towards the end she was recovering from a two week drug binge when she lefther boyfriend. She disappeared during those 2 weeks. She called me once while she was gone, but wouldn't tell me where she was. She returned from her 2 weeks very sick and in need of detoxifing and sleep mainly. She didn't call until after 2 days she had been at her parents. The house where we used to have slumber parties and watch movies, sing and play on the piano, I had my first kiss there. I went to see her she was in poor health, thin and very tired and weak. I remember sitting in the room with her just holding her hand and talking to her. It was so hard to see my friend going through this, I remember telling her that things may be bad and they may get worst but your at at your lowest and you can only go up and that we are all here for her. She recovered and was doing well and living back with her boyfriend. They were talking about getting married and she was going to go to college. A couple of weeks later I got a call from her,she was upset and crying. She said she wanted to leave because her boyfriend/fiance was angry at her. She asked what I was doing. I told her I had plans for a friends bday but she was welcome to go ahead and come over and i would be home later. When I came home that night, my mom was waiting up for me, she told me that my best friend had died, they said she killed herself, no investigation, case closed. That's probably more than you bargained for but it feels good to talk about it. I am not really the type of person who indulges on my feelings to my family, friends and my boyfriend about it.
867882
this is called learning.\n\nyou waited three months to talk about it.  even if you had told them right away, you still broke the trust of three people.  yes, three people.\n\nyou lied to your friend by sleeping with her man and hiding it.\nyou lied to your man by sleeping with his friend and hiding it\nyou lied to your secret lover by saying you wouldn't talk, but you did.\n\nthere was no good way out of it to begin with, but now you should have learned a valuble lesson.  some things might hurt a little to keep inside, buy they hurt a lot more when let out.\n\nsomething about best friends though - a best friend will forgive you almost anything - she forgave the boyfriend, didnt' she?  let her do it on her own though.  maybe ring her up in a week or two, to go out and get pizza or something - but don't talk about it then either!  it's over, don't bring up a past that can't be cured.
529758
First, don't get involved in your friend's affair, you as a friend can only guide and advise but you can't correct the mistake with a bigger one, there is nothing wrong with chatting , we all does...but there are some boundaries for married couple to stick to.\nIn your friend's situation, I call it attraction but it will fade away soon ,as you said he is miles away and he is so young, she is just admiring his GREEN eyes and his talent.
925495
i agree, i dont think u really want to have them in your life anymore...find someone else that you will love even more than her! your best friend is going out with a girl you love. a true friend wouldnt do that...so think about it like that. you will find someone that is perfect for u so dont worry about it! \n<3
601201
I currently have this problem... and know exactly how you feel. My best friend is in love with me and has been for about 10-11 years now. I tell him I don't see him that way and that I love him but not in those ways. But that doesn't stop him from trying... and he is moving down to my area with all the hopes that we would be together...
742868
I had a friend like that, and one day we just acted on it. It was the greatest relationship I ever had. Circumstances beyond our control came between us, but I will never forget how good the times together were. We don't see each other any more, as both of us are married to someone else, but we talk about once a year.\n\nI say go for it. It's going to drive you crazy otherwise.
380361
Loving her as a woman (by a man-like heart/feelings) is a sin yes. But now that you finally loved her as a friend or rather as bestfriend, I think both of you should know the limitations of your relationship by now. It is possible that, during your adjustment, you find yourself doing things that you used to do while you were lovers. Try to be watchful of your actions. I'm not advising you to avoid her but I do advise you to avoid being off guard just to caught yourself doing your old ways again. If its hard to control, its about time for the two of you to take a week off not seeing each other.
772878
I actually ended a long friendship with my former best friend a few years ago because our personalities clashed.  He was constantly flirting and kissing girls even though he had a girl who was working her tail off making ends meet for the two of them.  One clear example was when I visited him from out of town with my then girlfriend, he took us to a bar and spent the entire time flirting with one of his co-workers.  He just left us sitting on a windowsill.  \n\nWe've reconciled, but part of me still remembers what he did to not only us, but to his girl. I've lost some trust with him.
952941
You can't help the way you feel, it is being human.  I had a similar situation when I was 17.  I had been best friends with him for 2 years and gradually we got closer and closer.  For me it didn't work out but I am glad I gave it a go otherwise I would all ways wonder what if.  I think life is far too short to have regrets.