When is a good time to tell your child that the person she knows as dad, isnt her REAL, BIOLOGICAL dad?
819783
You are correct, a dad is more than a sperm donor.  We adopted a little girl when she was 6 months old and she knew right from the beginning that she was adopted.  I saw first hand how adopted and step children hate to be suprised by this knowledge later in life so i did not want this to happen to me.  If she is not very old then you need to be honest with her .  Honesty is the only way if you want to set a good example for her.
840452
the child should know btu wait until she is old enough to understand thier will never be a perfect time to tell her but wait until she is older and can understand she deserves to know the truth
267452
At the risk of putting myself out there?.. Tell her.. she should know.. I have a man in my life who has a child with someone else.. SHE and I don't talk..I wish we could, but its complicated as it is.. Tell her..she should know the truth.. and leave the door open for her to talk with you.. I regretably closed that door at the request of the man, and now I wish I didn't.. and I would love for the other woman to contact me.. so I could know what the hell is going on and have the full story.. but I didn't.. so I have more questions then answers.. I am sure she feels the same way and wants to know the full story,a nd what is really going on.. so tell her..
568455
Yes, tell her it all.  Unfortunately, she may not believe you and it may cause a rift in your relationship with her, for awhile anyway.  You shouldn't have waited though.  It may sound like sour grapes at this point and your mom may think you are making this up because she is making fun of you.  I would tell her that she could believe you or not.  It is her choice, but to not be surprised to find out that your stepdad, has been cheating on her in the past, or will be cheating on her in the future.  Tell her that you are not saying this for any other reason than that she needs to know the truth.  I'd even tell her that you really thought that he was being a great guy by coming all that way to help you out and that you wouldn't say anything against him if it was not true.  Tell her that you do not want to cause any problem with her and your relationship with her.  I would also tell her that you do not want to be alone with him or have your daughter left alone with him.  It may make your point stronger.  Good luck!
955460
I would talk to a lawyer.  I don't know what the situation is but I would tell the lawyer your situation.  You are the father.  Unless you have papers you have as much right.  Your children come first before any other disputes.  If it is only jealousy then they can be talked to but if there is any abuse whatsoever then  yes.  It doesn't make it any  better she will not tell the name of her boyfriend.
386034
Wait!!!! Just wait......she's not ready to know. When she is ready, she will contact you........ and then you can tell her. \n\nFor now, just cool your heels and rest easy in the knowledge that you know your twin sister and your birth parents.
394287
Just try to stay neutral when the kids ask why daddy isn't there.  You don't want them to remember you "bad mouthing" their father, even if what you say is true.  I do not know how old they are, but as they grow up, they will see and figure out what is going on.  Just always assure them that it is not their fault, and that you are there for them.
27270
not to make the father out to sound bad but i would be a little worried as well. check the child for signs of abuse. make sure they know that it's okay to tell you anything even if you have to make up a little game to play (i.e. get them to tell a toy what they do on the weekend with daddy). like i said i don't want to make an innocent man sound bad but they arent' always innocent. if my child behaved that way i would not let them see the father again until i knew for damn sure why. check it out.
289498
If you really like this person just tell them because you will need to find someone who wants to be with you and you child. The one who can do this is the one you should hold one too. If they ask why you have not told them tell them that you wanted to make sure that they were ready to hear it before you made a commitment to them.
1146349
I live both sides of this spectrum, as I have never met my biological father and my kid's dad isn't around. You would think that a man would want to see his children and know them. I always wonder how someone could roam this Earth knowing they have a child and not want to see them. Know that it has nothing to do with who you are, there are circumstances that are beyond your control and factors that led up to why he isn't there. It doesn't take away from you though. You are still wonderful and awesome and it's HIS loss that he doesn't know you. Don't create a fantasy of who he is because if one day, you ever meet him you could disappoint  yourself greatly. Be grateful for any strong male relationships that you do have and focus on you. Achieve great things and praise yourself and those who did raise you for becoming the person you are. Good Luck, God Bless . . . .  Kendra
820525
I think you should do what is best for u and ur child. if he is a good father, and treats you well, and you LOVE him, you should be hopeful. If he isn't any of those, tell him ur  glad he's in ur life, but you'll never be together again.
455829
I'm 53 years old and am adopted. I was told when I was young and feel that it is best to tell the child when they are young because if they find out when they get older, it can be very traumatic for them to accept.
1080907
there is not an exact time it changes by the type of your relationship but if you totally believe him you should met your kids with him, at the first your kids may not like him but believe me kids can sometimes adopt easilier than the adults. good luck :)
202926
OUCH. \nWow that sucks. Yeah if she is dating someone else already then she should have had enough time to put some things together for your child to have. I would go about it gently so as not to pi** her off, where then your child may not get anything, but I would really try to maybe talk to her and say, you know, *insert child's name here* really misses their dad and it would really mean a lot to them if they could have some things to hold on to to remember them with. That's a tough one, sorry I don't have any brilliant advice.
954720
He would have to adopt her otherwise if something happens to you the next biological parent would gain custody.  And the real dad will probably fight you tooth and nail against this. \n\nGet a lawyer that specializes in family law and have them explain your options to you.
428185
It is a good idea that he doesn't meet her till you are both sure where your relationship is headed. You don't want to confuse your daughter. Your daughter could also become attached to him and if you both decide to end the relationship it's one less thing you have to worry about.
570525
yes you can only if the real father says yes but if the father is dead, missing,or deamed by the couts that the father is  in the a mentle state the it is in the best intrest for the child to adoped by the new dad and that you have been married for a year