what can i do to get my man involved with my 3 kids.?
819570
My thoughts he's not committed to you. He sees your children as your responsibility and not his.\nI dated a girl with children before and ended up being able to give her a break by taking her son to ice cream, or the park to launch rockets. It made her heart soar to see that we could have a good time and give her a break from it all.\nIf he's not willing to buy into the idea of loving you through your children, he's not going to be able to committ further.
402464
dump him.\nif you can't introduce him to your friends, \n\nthen how do expect to respect him or have kids or love him in the future without resentment.
1111017
Married with 2.4 kids
296010
Perhaps you can talk to him and see what you can sort out. It would certainly be better if he could tell you earlier so you can make plans for them. It will be an ongoing issue for your relationship so you need to sort things out both with your kids and his kids. You want to avoid having a situation where he perceives that you are asking him to choose between you and his kids.
63838
Tell him just the truth... that you're going on with life and that he can't be your "partner" anymore, but he'll always be the kids' dad, and that the two of you need to get clear about that so you can keep doing right by the kids. Then keep writing him about the childrens activities, send pictures of the kids that you are not in, and simply don't reply to any romancing he tries to send your way...make the kids the focus of every letter.\nGood luck.
329159
Run and never look back.I have three kids with this guy and he does nothing for my kids and he's in the same town, what do you think a guy would do living in another country? unless you are financially stable enough and your prepared to raise this baby by yourself then don't do it.
429996
He is a jerk and you did the right thing. Your kids should be your number one priority. I have 4 and they are the world to me. You are not the bad guy. The next thing he will do is try to get you to feel sorry for him to make you go back to him. Don't do it!
891736
Move on...\nIf a man doesn't accept your children, then how can you possibly want him?  Your kids come first...ALWAYS.
337196
ask for joint custody. thats the only thing i can say or else go to counsleing to work on the marriage. do not i repeat do not stay together for the kids. it will only hurt the kids in the long run.
626983
In the beginning, proudly show him pictures of your kids.  You are a package deal.  If a man can't accept your children, he's not somebody you'd want to get to know.
275134
What does your heart tell you...also make sure your in love with him and not just his children or you just may end up being the baby sitter, if when you say he has 3 children, means they live with him.  Also beware of baggage, I don't consider the children baggage, thats part of the package, but the ex is another story...has he been divorced long?  Whats the child care arrangement?  does he pay alimony, child support and need your income?  Other than that if its a family your looking for...I would think he would be sincere in wanting a partner to complete his family.
627171
First you must remember you are the step father. He has a real father so you don't want to replace him.  sit him down and tell him how happy you are to be his step father. Do things with him he likes..have him tell you all  he would like to do and try them. take him to a game room at the mall. put some money in those machines and together  play them. tuck him in at night, share saying his prayers with him and give him big hugs. ask him if he would let you kiss him on the cheek at bed time. watch cartoons with him. throw ball with him. take your wife and him on a hike. take a pic-nic lunch with you and find a nice place to eat. the focus is on him ok? kids like ice cream, kmart, walmart etc.\njust enjoy him and make him feel very special and you two will come together just fine.  you must remember this is just as hard on him as it is you. you need to discuus discipline with you 3 together. there are ways of handling this without being the bad guy, ok?
708344
pray for him . It works remember we cant do any thing by our selves only GOD can do it . and try planning family time and invite him, like putting the kids in sports
944403
Tell him to stay put.  \n\nSee if you can get you and the kids on an even keel. See if he can get on an even keel.  \n\nIf he can call, come by, treat you guys with respect, maintain his job, his car and his home, his bank account, and take the kids sometimes to give you a break, then you might have something.  \n\nPay attention to his decision making skills.  Can the man make a decision and stick with it or is he all over the board?  \n\nDate for awhile.    DON'T let him sleep over at your house, unless you want your kids totally confused.  Give yourself enough space to objectively evaluate his behaviors.  Then decide if this is a healthy, loving, family relationship for everyone involved.
899349
Let the slug go.  Why do you want a man who has no character, who would leave his children behind for a new squeeze?  \n\nFile for full custody of the kids and file for child support.  Get tough.
39998
Just be completley honest and open with your man and tell him how you feel and ask him questions that are on your mind such as how he feels, if he agrees, or is he upset. Be very sweet and word things nicely with out affending him or blamming him for anything. When you decide on your decision you both should talk to your children about it cuz it will effect them too. Kids are smart and catch on fast!
206765
Oh can I relate to/with you on this one!!! I have four kids. He has one. I love this man dearly but making my four walk a narrow line and expect the best is great until it comes to his son who can do,say,etc. what ever in the heck he wants! I simply told him about it. After all, I can live without a man or find another one but my kids are all I truely have and can not be replaced. Equal...the whole house and everyone in it. No one is more special then the other when it comes to discipline! If you are in the wrong, it is our job as the parent to help set the child back down on the right path! Good luck and remember, eventually your kids will notice and hold it against you for not doing or saying anything! Good Luck!!!