why do parents with adult kids have such a hard time understanding them?
826911
the generation gap...\n\ndifferent peers, different friends, different societal norms, different values, different status in the family, different music, different language, different clothes.
402822
I think so. Unfortunately not all adults are mature and I don't think you should depend on one parent to give you a fair assessment of the other parent.  It's quite apparent that the two didn't get along, other wise they would still be together or at least be friends for the sake of both being productively in their child's life.
907783
BECAUSE THEY CAN NOT ABLE TO UNDERSTAND THE THINGS VERY EASILY.
389882
It's because parents have a tendency to deal with their own shortcomings through their offspring. They will correct past mistakes(in their own minds) through you! Good Luck and I really hope it works out, but, if they push you too hard, just sit them down and tell them calmly to GET YOUR OWN LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!\nHope this helps!\nglenn
7663
Hmmm...I think it's because they want people to treat them like adults,but they still don't know what to do exactly when they have a problem. So they think they're too mature to get help from an adult,but they can't fix the problem by themselves,so they just run away from the problem
794740
Unfortunately they probably never will. Everyone thinks what they believe is the truth and the only truth. It is sad that people aren't more accepting of other people's differences. I do think the main problem is what they are taught at home. More and more people have children yet don't bother to parent their children. They figure they are too busy and they expect everyone else to do it for them. In the mean time they aren't being taught morals and compassion. And then everyone wants to know what is wrong with the world. It starts at home. If people would take the time out of their "busy" lives to be good role models for their children, their children wouldn't grow up to be such miserable hateful adults. I am never too busy for my son. And I promise you, He will not grow up to be that way. It is just too bad everyone else is't as concerned about the way they conduct themselves nowadays. The majority of the people I come Across on a daily basis are rude, impatient, disrespectful, judgemental, and self absorbed. I try to hold onto the belief that most people are good people though, and I do believe they are, I just think maybe they lose track of things that really matter, and are more concerned with trivial matters. But I totally hear ya!!!!!
990162
You may have made mistakes, sometimes critically important mistakes, that wounded your children in some way. Most parents, even under the best conditions, will make such a mistake at least once during their childrens' lives. \n\nHowever, your children are middle-aged now; they need to own whatever happened to them, accept that what is done is done, heal their wounds the best they can, and take responsibility for providing themselves and their children with a better life than perhaps you were able to provide for them when they were small.\n\nYou need to tell them that if they expect to have any happiness or success in their lives at all, they have to quit blaming you and start taking responsibility for their own lives now. There's nothing you can do to undo whatever hurt they experienced as children; but there is also nothing you can do to undo whatever hurt they're experiencing in their adult lives...because it's NOT your job. If they expect to have any happiness in their lives at all, they're going to have to work on themselves and do what they need to do for themselves to have a better life.\n\nUntil then, ignore their accusations. They are just guilting you to take the spotlight off their own failures as adults to cope.
1137342
It's usually a mixture of both excitement for themselves and terror for their children. Many parents go through what is called "empty nest syndrome", which is uneasiness now that there are no diapers to change or soccer games to remember to attend. Depending on how troublesome the kids were to their parents, or how close their relationship...parents feel depression, worry, but relief that 18 years of raising kids is over with. Why don't you ask your parents if you don't believe me.
178287
They do this in part because they are not mature enough to deal with the real world.  I'm not being critical of them. I have too many problems of my own.  These "kids" were not taught a great deal of personal responsibility as children.  That rests squarely on their parents shoulders. Now they are having children and have less chance of teaching their own children responsibility.  It will likely get worse before it gets better.  Some day maybe parents will step up to the plate.
974726
I think its a perfect statement.  Now a days its real difficult to understand each other whatever be the relationships, be it a parents-children or husband-wife, take any case.  And especially in the case of partners, lack of understanding is more. So even when both have much love for each other, situations comes up were one will not understand the feelings....so yell and scream and have it out to make him/her understand, and there comes the freedom and intimacy of the relationship
242457
I work in the elder care field and I'm a social worker. Adult children have no obligation to provide any type of care to there parent you don't even have to speak to them if you don't want The only thing you cant do is be abusive to them like say you live in their home and knew that you were neglecting that elder then you could go to jail. So if you don't want to provide any assistance you do have to.
121031
Sometimes it makes me wonder who the child really is.  My mother has always been like the 5-year old that will throw a fit until she gets her way...while my dad is looking like her like she is a total idiot.  I had chosen to "side" (for lack of a better term) with my dad, while my mother has always puzzled me...on MANY levels.  Maybe her and I are too much alike?  Or we are just too different...in either case, she is the one that makes me feel torn.
957200
The relationship of ones parents has a lot to do with their adult relationships, whether or not the parents were divorced.  If you come from parents who fought all the time, you will unconsciously believe that fighting is the way to communicate in a relationship.  It's difficult to stand back and look at your parent's relationship and determine how to have a successful relationship.  You also need to look at the way the parent's relating to the children regarding the divorce.  It takes someone with a lot of insight to look at the whole picture and then form a loving relationship.  There are many books on successful marriages, communications and relationships.  Also, going for therapy can be very insightful and helpful that you won't repeat your parents mistakes.  Good Luck!
746015
You really hit the nail on the head with that one. I have more love and respect for my parents now that I have kids of my own. I understand more about them. They were never trying to ruin my life they were trying to keep me from ruining it. Just wish I would've listened more to them growing up. I would be so smart now. You never understand anyone's point of view until you're in their situation. My kids think I'm the meanest mama ever. If they only knew how good they really have it.
241456
I think the fact that we have more YOUNG parents (teenage mothers and fathers) is what is causing our children to be parented by "friends" more so than traditional parents.  These kids having kids are not old enough or mature enough or have enough experience to understand what being a parent truly IS about.  My mother was 24 when she had me.. she made a few mistakes and for a time tried the friend route - then realized I had plenty of friends and needed a mom.. and I am better for it.  I think parents need to have open communication and honest dialogue with their kids - which I THINK is the goal of these "friend/parents" but they can't forget that the primary role is that of a parent.
689871
I think people seem aggravated a lot because they are frustrated. They don't have the time that our parents had when we were young, because most families have both parents working now. They wish they had the time, the money, and the abilities to do more for their kids and themselves.....
1070549
The way young people are being brought up now is very different than when I was growing up. Parents now aren't near as strict as they use to be.  If the parents of the children now were to give their children the discipline they needed instead of just giving in because of , in some cases fear then the kids now would not be in the situations they are in.  Children would not be having children and morals would be a lot different.