How many women have gone back after their affair..and they really thought this new guy was it!?
816799
I almost left my spouse and I am so thankful I didn't.  I deserved to lose everything/everybody in my life because of my stupidity but I believe God intervened for me.  I am not going to badmouth this person because I am just as much to blame for this mess as he but he definitely was not the person I thought he was.  It has been over for 2 years and I am still paying for this really bad decision.  I will say it before everyone else will, "what goes around comes around."  I deserve that one.
612264
No I didn't but Some people I know have and some have turned out really bad and a few good! for instance a guy was married and not himself do to some problems he was having  and the lady he met online laft New York to where he lived to break up the guys many years marriage and she became pregnant and told him either her or me after she told him she was pregnant! And all through the pregnancy she told him it was his baby but after the baby was born she told him it wasn't his. She has done this befor trying to break up other marriages, it seems she only wanted guys that where taken! The guy is back with his wife and they are working things out and doing good!  Then I know of a couple that meet through a group and was just Friends talked here and there but not often over the years and a few years down the road they started talking more and fell in love and now they are happily married and she left the USA to go to his country to be with him! They are a match made in heave and are very happy! So it can happen but then again it can be a nightmare becasue not everyone is honest online. If you are looking for love online becareful and always be truthful for your lies will catch up to you!
691651
wow.. im not the emotional sort, but i heard you crying while you wrote this! i feel for you, we all been there, you gotta CHANGE your out look and overview! it's over, he's cheated it wont get better, it cant, it will be tough, but you will get by it, find out your old girlfriends get back in touch with them, and start again.  company will help you through, and help you meet other people, dont give up look forward to the change ok?....ok?
1002269
there are many motives behind an affair,the old line it just happened is a crock of bull,it is given much thought and for men i think it's a challenge for women it is a emotional thing the sense of being needed, attractive to another man.men also need to see if they still have it some do, some don't,  some never did,regardless of the reason it is wrong.if your sex life stinks make it better try different things,being a women i can't completly answer why guys cheat but i feel it's an ego thing or maybe their spouse is truely a louse in which case she has no reason to complain we women know men like / need  sex and if we are completly against making love then let him go no man or women should be forced to live without it unless it is for a medical reason,in that case then you should find other ways to satisfy each other.
1063192
You may never regain the trust she had for you. You can suggest counselling and also don't try to rush it. You have a lot of bad marks against you and really need to prove yourself to her. Also have you thought about what will happen if you get back with her? What made you get into the affair in the same place? Will this reoccurring bad behavior surface again. I'm don't deny that she loves you but just doesn't want to go through the pain of betrayl again. Take some time and get your priorities straight. Good luck
624402
I have been almost in the same predicument as you, but my husband cheated on me first after 18 years of marriage. We have two children and not only did this effect me, it also had a great impact on the children as well. I did kick him out of the house and after a couple of weeks he realized that he wanted me back and to have life back to normal. Well that does not happen over night. The trust was gone, I was insecure with my self and felt that things could never be the same again. We remained living in the same house, seperate rooms, and trying to mend what happened, then he got into a bad accident as well. The accident was so bad that after leaving the hospital after 6 weeks, I had to nurture and nurse him everyday for the next year. After a complete year of this I cheated on him. I believe that I did this to fullfill the hurt,anxiety,and the insecurity I had about my self. He found out the same way by tapping the phone of reason's of suspition and confronted me. I did tell him the truth about everything. At that time I also said to him "How does it feel to have it happen to you, now we are even". Well set aside Love does hurt, and we all can be cruel either mentally or physically. We react weird to these typs of circumstances. But happy to say it has now been 7 years after this has all happened, and our love never died, it took a great deal of time for the trust factor to regain itself. I'm not saying that the trust will fully every be regained, but as your relationship heals and your thoughts and feeling are open and honest with each other this is a start. Marriage to me now is more important than I ever realized, I want to grow old together. Everyone is differant but place value on your love and family, and take baby steps. If all else fells and things can't be reconciled then be good friends for your children and yourselves. Good Luck. Good things take time.
869585
my ex didn't leave because of another man, but i left him because of another man.\nanother man HE was seeing, not me.\nit was really hard to imagine ANY of it happening.  i had NO idea.  i still shudder whenever i think of it.\nsorry to hear you're going thru this.
556399
No I didnt have a last fling. I dont regret it at all. I have something even better. AN amazing husband.
169650
Yes I have, quiet a few times.  But I got cheated on in my last relationship.  It was a slap in the face, I had never been cheated on before.  So my karma came back around and taught me a lesson.  I will never cheat again, I can't imagine causing someone that kind of pain.
820856
I don't want to be critical, but I want to be honest in my answer.\n\nI had this same fear after my 2nd marriage ended.  Thank goodness I had a dear friend who saw what I was experiencing and helped me rebuild my self-esteem and helped me "find myself".  I realized that I was not happy with myself and that I needed to be before I got involved again.  This was not a quick process.  And it was a lonely one.  But I thank God every day that I went through it.  When I quit looking and found out that I actually liked myself, I found a great guy.  He and I are no longer together, but I found that I am a complete person without a man.  This has given me a whole new perspective on life and relationships.  Since then, I have met and dated a much higher quality of men.  The man I'm seeing now is a wonderful and thoughtful man who is a good father and is concerned about the people around him.  This is want I wanted and what found me.\n\nI hope my experience can help!
413830
How far of an ex is this?  Were you guys serious or just fooling around?  Either way, I'd say not.  There are so many men out here you haven't been with, what was the point with that one?  Will she even wait until he's an "ex" the next time?  Will she be the reason he is one?
1001882
Well, that depends on how 'emotional affair' is defined.... but I believe that I have had one.  \n\nMine seemed to be 2 two sided at first but became increasingly 1 sided as time went on.  It also went from only emotions to becoming physical, which made my emotional attachment even stronger.  \n\nI don't think I really loved the man, but I would have done anything to keep him in my life.  In fact, if I had the opportunity, I would still take him back.\n\nI think an emotional affair begins because someone, like myself, has been so emotionally deprived for so long that they react in the extreme the first time someone feeds into what they are so hungry for.
1128287
A guy I know after he got divorced stated to test everthing that he thought about or heard abpout. So he went on sex dating websites, sex parties, visited prostitutes you name it he tried it. Afterward he came to the conclusion that all these things weren't for him and all he really wanted was to be in a fulfilling loving relationship in a family setting. Now he's become really picky and is looking for a new long term partner. at one stage he had four girlfriends and wondered how he got himself in that position cos he was always a one girl at time guy. We all told him its because he could have four girls on the go, so he should stop worrying get over it and let time work out whats best for him. It looks like it has. That HIS story but Im sure it could be very different for others. The only advice I gave him (and anyone else) is - get to know yourself, learn what you did or didn't do to get yourself in that position and dont make the same mistakes again. Happy huntin :-)
293061
yes I love it too  ! it does kind of make you wonder , since he did show up... after she left...but , he chose to stay with his wife ,  so I would guess no he didn't choose her, he came there to tell her his decision to stay with his wife...if he had come to chose her, his choice would have remained...  in the end he will be back with her anyway...its only a matter of time.... but its enough to drive us crazy in the meantime ! lol..
26190
You know it is easy to forgivce than to forget. Trust is the main issue in the relationship and once its broken.. its hard to rebuild. BUT, I know someone back in my country. She did catch her husband in bed with her sister-in-law (her brother's wife) and totally crashed her. But there is a saying - LOVE IS LOVELIER THE SECOND TIME AROUND, and its true. They now have two more kids after that and yes the guy had changed. This is not for everybody though. He had to earn her trust back and he proved it to her that he is reformed. \n\nYou should have an honest, open heart talk with your partner. Good luck!
278419
Boy FIND SOMEONE else "once a cheater ALWAYS a cheater"  They may not think they are cheating now but they just cant help it.. They will never change!  Trust me Im a girl!!
811949
It seems to happen more and more. Women are lacking self respect and any type of morals. I agree with you, and I would never venture onto another womans territory. Why would you even want a man that you know is cheating? I think these women actually think that they are better than the woman he is in the relationship with and think they are taking him away. Which we all know, seldom happens. Welcome to the 20th century, where morals and respect no longer exist. Sad.