An Irishman goes home from work early one day and catches his wife in bed with another man?
818299
Can't beat a good old irish joke mate, you can just imagine it can't you, him standing there with the gun to his head.\n\nThat made me laugh big time.  That is the good thing about this site, people sharing a laugh or two, thanks mark 1
977522
Forgetting the name of his girlfriend (only thing he knows is that it rhymes with a private female body part), he faced the moment of truth when she asked him if he knew what her name was. With nothing to lose, he mutters with a "it's screwed anyway" smile: "Mulva?" (rhymes with vulva) to which she gets her stuff together and storms out. A few seconds after she closed his apartment door behind her, he accidently read a female name on his fridge, he franticly runs towards his window (which oversaw the woman heading ot her car) yelling "hey! hey!", then he reaches the window, sticks his head out, and lets out a desperate cry, "DOLORES!" LMAO. Comedy at is very best.
923369
Lives with his gf who's from Northern Ireland.
305599
A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks out into a house to look for money and a gun and finds a young couple in the bed. \n\nHe orders the guy out of the bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife: \n\n"Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you." \n\nTo which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong, honey. I love you too!!"
206741
Work unfortunately...though St Patricks day will always remind me of having the three most fantastic days, helping my Irish housemate to celebrate in an Irish bar in the UK while we at uni :)
1058057
married men never leave their wives
637003
with a man, a bed, and a condom
608025
well, there goes two good men.....\n\nLOL
674879
No... That means only one thing... they were screwing each other's wife at the same bed, at the same time... one just came 6 minutes earlier than the other... comprende?
527827
Man comes into the bedroom with a sheep under his arm. His wife is in bed with cold cream on and wearing curlers. "Honey," the man announces, "this is the pig I sleep with when you have a headache."\n\nThe wife looks annoyed and says, "You old fool! That's a sheep."\n\nThe man replies, "You old fool! I wasn't talking to you!"
40936
Probably referring to the wild bachelor party you had the night before and your wife doesn't know about.
397680
tye my man to the bed
466294
A guy was trying to console a friend who'd just found his wife \nin bed with another man. \n"Get over it, buddy," he said. "It's not the end of the world." \n"It's all right for you to say," answered his buddy. "But what \nif you came home one night and caught another man in bed with \nyour wife?" \nThe fella ponders for a moment, then says, "I'd break his cane \nand kick his seeing-eye dog in the ass."
361833
Barry returned from a doctor's visit one day and told his wife Doreen that the doctor said he only had 24 hours to live.  Wiping away her tears, he asked her to make love with him.  Of course she agreed and they made passionate love. Six hours later, Barry went to her again, and said, "Honey, now I only have 18 hours left to live. Maybe we could make love again?"  Doreen agreed and again they made love. \nLater, Barry was getting into bed when he realised he now had only eight hours of life left. He touched Doreen's shoulder and said, "Honey? Please? Just one more time before I die." She agreed, then afterward she rolled over and fell asleep.  Barry, however, heard the clock ticking in his head, and he tossed and turned until he was down to only four more hours. He tapped his wife on the shoulder to wake her up.  "Honey, I only have four hours left! Could we...?"  His wife sat up abruptly, turned to him and said, "Listen Barry, I have to get up in the morning! You don't."
941581
A typical macho man married a typical good-looking lady. After the wedding, he laid down the following rules: \n\n"I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what time I want... and I don't expect any hassle from you. I expect a great dinner to be on the table, unless I tell you otherwise. I'll go hunting, fishing, boozin', and card-playing when I want with my old buddies and don't you give me a hard time about it. Those are my rules. Any comments?" \n\nHis new bride said, "No, that's fine with me. Just understand that I have rules too. There will be sex here at seven o'clock every night - whether you're here or not..."
687080
A married man was having an affair with his secretary. \nOne day, their passions overcame them and they took off for her house, where they made passionate love all afternoon. Exhausted from the wild sex, they fell asleep, awakening around eight PM. As the man threw on his clothes, he told the woman to take his shoes outside and rub them through the grass and dirt. Mystified, she nonetheless complied. He slipped into his shoes and drove home. \n"Where have you been!" demanded his wife when he entered the house. \n"Darling, I can't lie to you. I've been having an affair with my secretary and we've been having sex all afternoon. I fell asleep and didn't wake up until eight o'clock." \nThe wife glanced down at his shoes and said, "You lying bastard! You've been playing golf!"
383417
Let him catch you in bed with another woman.... oh hang on, that might not work... another man may be better