I been married 16 years?
816924
It's called a "comfort zone." Which is not a good zone to be in married or not. \n\n16 years is a long time to serve. I served 17 years. If you note I'm using the term "served." In the end it was like, looking back, I'd put myself in this prison of sorts. Anyway, this is about you. \n\nDo you love her? Can you see yourself within the institution of marriage with this woman for the next 20 years? \n\nPersonally? I don't think that man or woman is made to mate with the same person for their entire life. \n\nWhatever your answer is; remember this... you cannot create happiness through others, you must create your own happiness and from that everything around you flourishes. If you love her, talk to her. You've been married for 16 years! If you're not happy. Move on. Life is too short.
848177
I have been with My Husband since we have been 15.I am 36.yes there has been time when I wanted to leave and same for him we got married for better or for worse.We have God in our life and that has helped us out ALOT.we have 3 kids 21,14 and 10 and a Half.
1093621
16 years older, and we are very happy together.
310016
You've obviously dedicated yourself to your spouse if you've been married for 35 years, so congrats on a very successful marraige. It's a perfectly normal part of human nature to reflect on what could have been. It sounds like you left a small part of yourself with this other person. There is no shame in remembering happy times with another person, but if it gets to the point of obsession then you should think about speaking with someone in the mental health field. If you aren't that far gone just enjoy your fond memories, while focusing on the good memories you have with your spouse.
223939
5years after marriage after having nice fun
7994
Not to sound arrogant, but I can speak from experience here.  My wife and I have been married for 14 years (15 in April, 13th to be exact...I always remember it).  We started dating when I was 17, and married when I was 20 (she's 3 years older).\n\nI went through the EXACTLY the same thing you are currently going through.  From the day we announced our engagement many, many people said "You're too young." or "You should experience life before you settle down."  I wanted to experience life with her.  Only one person at my office offered any support.  She actually encouraged me to get the child rearing years over with early, when we still had the energy (she was in her early 40's and had a two-year-old that wore her down).\n\nSuffice it to say it's worked so far.  There's been rough spots, but no more than any other married couple (even supposedly "mature" married couples) experience.  The main difference is not so much in your feelings for your fiance/spouse, but in your behavior.  If you behave in a loving way every day to the person it's not very likely you'll "fall out of love".  Talk, listen, offer support, discuss (don't argue) your points of view...basically treat each other with respect.  Realize that he's going to do/say dumb things, and you'll do the same.  Have room for forgiveness.  Mostly, have fun.\n\nMy only advice, to save yourself any misunderstanding in the long run, is spell out your feelings to each other about all the uncomfortable or boring stuff, like sex (all aspects, even the "non-traditional" ones), children (definitely separate topic from sex), money, goals, retirement, career plans, dreams, chores/responsibilities, which way to hang the toilet paper rolls (top or bottom), etc.  Basically a pre-nup without the legal formality.  As hard as it may be DO NOT JUDGE any responses each other gives.  Leave your emotions at the door.  As much as you (both of you) don't like something the other may say, do not let anything hurt your feelings.  Be as dispassionate and reasonable as possible.  If disagreements arise, talk them over.  Do not argue..the point is not to debate, but to understand.  If something arises that cannot be settled and is a deal-breaker when it comes to the marriage, better to find out now.  Talk over compromises, but do not try to force a compromise if the other person feels strongly enough about the topic that they will not budge.\n\nAs much as I love my wife, most of the marriage has been very much like the experience you'll have if you follow the suggestion above.\n\nOn a side note, my brother and sister-in-law started dating when he was 18 and she was 17.  They dated for about six years, and have been married for about 12 years now.  However, two of my sisters married young and both were divorced within two years.  Another brother married recently but they started dating about a year after my wife and I married so I don't think much will change.  All of us started "young" and it's about 60% so far for the family.
158736
These are really hard shoes you are asking us to put ourselves in....I don't think any of us could say for sure what we would do unless we were actually in this postiton. Try to take time to think about the information you have learned, what were the circumstances in you marriage at the time. Determine how your relationship has been since then. Was the affairs with different women or one? How did you find out, by mistake or did he tell you? Why did he tell you after all these years? Is he looking for a way out or has he been consued with guilt all these years and wanted the truth to be told? You have alot of questions to sort through in your mind, and in your heart. The best advise I can give you, is to listen to your heart. Give yourself a little bit of time to digest everything, right now the hurt, humiliation, betrayl, and disgust are fresh wounds, and might cause you to lash out and do something you really don't want to do just to hurt him. I am sorry you have to go through this hurt, I wish you luck love and happiness.
128310
first of all how old are u? are you even old enough to be thinking marriage?. I hope that you are at least in your mid twenties?
520204
15 !!!  You're getting to be an old maid !!!  I was married when I was 14. We are still married and having fun 31 years later.
637179
Been there done that...whats up with the 23rd year...Its alot of years, you'll never forget the past, my marriage was great the first 20 years, but I could see the dis-interest building as the months after pasted by...and she too felt she was no longer in love with me, however I later found out her interests were directed toward another...suggestions..Seek marriage council advice, put forth a 100% effort to resolve such conflict, and if it doesn't turn out happily ever after, if there ever was an ideal time to be single , its with a good job, no mortgage and your child a grown adult...very simular to my situation...its was 2 yrs separated and 3 years since divorce and those conditions were blessings in disguise.
109344
It (probably) means that it wasn't meant to be. You two have lived it up and have produced two lovely children. I'm sure the both of you love them more than life itself. But perhaps that's where it ends...It seems like you have tried everything. Hell, you even went to counseling. Good job on both of your parts. You two want it to work. Maybe you're going through a phase? Maybe you should spice things up a bit. Join a club together, join together in a new sport, go hiking, camping, maybe you could spend less time with each other. Mabe ALL you need is a BREAK. C'mon now...16 years together. THAT tells you something. It cannot just stop like that. Do not give up. There is a reason why the two of you are together. There is a reason why you met, why you got married, why you decided to create children. Reminisce together about the days when you were younger, the crazy things you guys did for each other, the first time you told each other 'I Love you', etc. Do not give up. If it's an attraction/physical thing, work it out (Literally). Get sexy, make him look at you like you're the hottest thing to have walked this earth. It's not over sweetie. I believe in you guys.
850913
If you're happy. You are old enough to make your own desicion. I know a couple where the woman is 10yrs older and they've been together 15 years.
556148
You didn't mention how long you have been married but it really doesn't matter too much.  I think some marriage counseling is in order.  Marriage is a team effort and she deserves your support in getting the extra help that you both need.  Go check out the site listed below.  Great site. Lots of insight.
866501
I've been married 28 years ,and it's still in doubt .It seems the spirit and the flesh are somewhat incompatible .You can do what you want, it seems to quench the spirit tho for a time .
1038393
married at 20-25 and first child 20-22
1002425
Different strokes for different folks. My guy and I are as opposite as they come. We been married 13 years with four children. I hope you are as  lucky hun
798296
16 to have it over with