Why do people treat their spouses with less kindness then their kids?
822278
Some people will put a "face" to the public that is not the "face" they use at home.  Hence the reason you hear about the Doctor who beats his wife.  He doesn't do it in PUBLIC, he does it at home, behind closed doors.  A woman who presents a "face" to others of great children (a reflection, she thinks of her great mothering skills, a husband on the other hand, may not be the reflection of her, she thinks he should be) hence the reason she will say to others "he's a moron" and not without the true emotion behind it, disdaining her mate.  What does that really say about her?  That she is not the nice person you thought you knew?  Or that she is human, with real emotions, that she can let her gaurd down to you?  Or that her husband really is one?  Maybe it says something about you?  You sat there and listened and made no comment.  You didn't say "Oh I think he's a good father (or some other positive comment)".  You note this woman "would never speak ill will" towards someone.  But she did.  She spoke ill of her husband, a person she should respect, should honor and shouldn't be dogging to others.  I am sure all of us, have at times presented a "false face" to others, to make ourselves appear better than we were/are with the intention of not letting others really know what we thought/think.  On a daily basis, many of us do this dualness of nature to our bosses, to our supervisors, to our friends, family and even mates.  It's not pretty and its not nice, but you are notice with this friend, that she has a feeling about her husband that isn't very kind.  What might she do when faced with some moronic activity you may have engaged in?  Thread carefully and keep your "face" up around her, she will probably cut you no more slack to others than she did for her own husband.  I think it shows a great unkindness to have exposed her feelings about her husband, but if you are considered her "best friend" she may have felt you would understand, or lets her guard down around you.
261042
b/c people don't want to honor or respect wife beaters.
58354
Common sense..... well that went away at about the time it became unpopular to spank you child as a way of showing them right and wrong,which led to small children manipulateing their parents in public by screaming 'your hurting me" when they were not even being touched......self respect, oh there lot of self respect out there maybe just not enough respect for others.....common courtesy.......let see.... we are now in the "whats in it for me age" well there is absolutely no reward other than emotional in being nice to others....i sometimes wonder if we will get to the point of being deliberately mean just because we can (you know like slamming a door on someones face) I already say "was that truly necessary" alot more than i want to.
444485
because their F-lazy and don't give a dam and think their man will take care of everything, just don't care about anything\nexcept the ones that stay home take care of the kids and house until the kids go to school or a good stay at home wife and mother that cares about her family that is not a person like the above
565769
I think they are because they wanted to do stuffs in their own way because when they were a kid they cant do ir so they want kids to be good but they don't show themselves as a good model so they are basically hypocrites.. If im gonna be a parent someday I'd be the best parent so the generation/tradition/culture of being a hypocrite will stop. and oh yea stupidity has also something to do with it.
1000480
lack of communication, making them feel that they don't understand each other anymore. Many a times people make assumptions about each other as well, and when things doesn't turn out as they had assume, they blame each other.\n\nSome of them are not as tolerant of each other's weaknesses as well. They are not understanding enough, selfishness sets in and decisions made become self centered.\n\nAnd lastly, they didnt appropriately settle a dispute and use divorce as a means to an end. It is like giving a drug abuser a death penalty. sigh...
365986
be a good parent to my kids
64532
Not to be whatever, and I shouldn't even be writing this, but being a military spouse there aren't a whole lot of different friends to meet and you just have to settle for what you get.  SO.. I have this one "friend" that I really don't even like, but her kid is absolutly adorable and I feel really sorry for her that she has a mom like she does so I stick around and be really nice to the kid and try to show her what "normal" is.  I know this is a terrible answer, but maybe it's just time to get a new friend.  thickchix could be very right too.  I think most adults are a lot nicer to kids than their adult counterparts.
167457
To make up for personal insecurities. They know that people who are kind to them will less likely hurt them if they treat them condescendingly. They then assume that kind people are that way because they lack self esteem and confidence to stand up for themselves. Or they think these people are intimidated by some quality of theirs that they're very proud of.
1070549
The way young people are being brought up now is very different than when I was growing up. Parents now aren't near as strict as they use to be.  If the parents of the children now were to give their children the discipline they needed instead of just giving in because of , in some cases fear then the kids now would not be in the situations they are in.  Children would not be having children and morals would be a lot different.
193762
Hunkydoorey101,\n\nI find it hard to follow your question, but I think you're confusion arises from telling someone (one of your children) that their behavior is unacceptable. That's easy just tell them that you love them, but that their behavior is wrong.\n\nJudging is putting yourself in God's place and condemning another person. When we judge we are also guilty in the same area that we judge the other person.\n\nYou, therefore, have no excuse, you who pass judgment on someone else, for at whatever point you judge the other, you are condemning yourself, because you who pass judgment do the same things. Romans 2:1\n\nThe best I can tell from your question your motivation is love for a child who is engaging in behavior which will harm them. Just be their mom and tell them you love them, but you don’t like their behavior.\n\nI have 4 kids – all adults – and I just talk to them and love them and tell them my honest feelings about their lives, and I share my mistakes and successes in the areas where they struggle. Most of the time, I just tell them how proud I am of them. They are great kids!\n\nJust love your kids and enjoy them and quit worrying so much. With someone that you have so much contact, it is often best to let your life and your actions speak for you. Francis of Assisi said, “Preach the Gospel at all times and when necessary use words.”\n\nGod bless.
330194
It used to be neighborhoods had people that were home all day. Kids had a bit more freedom because no matter where you were someones mom probably saw you. \nPeople now are much more concerned about what they own and how they will get it, we think we have more needs and are always trying to keep up with the standard we see in the media. We are a society of image rather than relationships. We preach tolerance and we judge appearances.\nWe move too fast and seem to think treating each other in insulting ways in comedic. \nPeople demand respect but seldom give it. We judge fast and forgive slowly.
777609
it stems from lack of discipline when the are young. mommy and daddy giving them everything. they expect everyone to just get out of their way.
1013251
Let's see . After thinking about this for a bit i would have to say it is because you are closer to your spouse then any other person usually in life. It hurts much more when someone you love and cherish hurts you then if it is someone you don't know as well or feel such a deep love for. God however commands us to forgive others or he won't forgive us and he won't even hear our prayers if we choose not to forgive. I would want to forgive my husband because if i were to do something to hurt him or make a mistake I would want him to forgive me. Forgiveness is a choice!
589708
You are absolutely correct!! If I could give you points I would! I think the family unit is disintegrating quickly, people don't care about each other as much. They conveniently forget to tell their children how beautiful, intelligent, wonderful, etc, they are. Children (and adults) need to hear positive things about themselves, otherwise they end up with a negative attitude..it's much easier for a parent to see and point out the negative things about their children. Good question.
1106675
I watched another woman and my (ex) husband break up my marriage. She tried to control and manipulate my kids, as well as my in-laws. After our divorce,they got married. As the years went by, my kids began to hate their step mother, and realized what I had said about their step mother were true. I ran into my ex-husbands wife after she went on vacation (without my ex). She told me that she wished she hadn't have came back, and also wished she never married my ex. From what my kids say, my ex is miserable with his wife. They've been married for 18 yrs. He won't divorce her 'cuz he knows she'll take him for everything he's got. She's told the kids that if she divorces their dad, she'll take him for everything he has.  Karma is a wonderful thing!
577123
She's rude! If you're married to her son- your family! As for the kids, the noise or mess may bother her, but that is still no excuse.\nTry talking to your husband, he can speak to her on your behalf.