how do you get around the past? does it really matter?
826355
My husband knows every single detail of my sordid past.  Stripping, drug use, partying with coke dealers, etc, etc, etc.  He puts it behind us.  All he cares about is who we are now and how we treat each other.  If he wasn't there then he doesn't know how it really was.  If he doesn't want to accept you for who you are now, because of who you were then....\n.....he isn't worth the effort.  So tell him what I said.  If he can't get over it still, leave him and find another guy, 'cause you'll never be happy and neither will he.
879317
ignore them.  you made certain choices in your life, as we all do, and as a result people perceive you in a certain way.  now you're living your life in a different way, and those that are open-minded (read:  worth your time) will shift their perceptions accordingly.  those who are clinging to your past mistakes will eventually be cycled out as you meet and form relationships with people that respect you enough to pay attention to who you are and what you're doing NOW.  \n\nyou can't control what other people think of things you've done in the past, and you can't control how fast they let go of it.  efforts to 'change their minds' will only bring more attention to the past by making it the focus of your actions in the future.  what you CAN control is who you surround yourself with.  choose carefully.
24898
These are always tough questions, as the thought of taking anything back in history, potentially wipes out something wonderful. \n\nFor example, I, to this day, regret staying in a relationship that I wasn't happy with ten years ago, for as long as I did and even worse that I let it go as far as marriage for the sake of a pregnancy. The ensuing pain and frustration has been a distraction and thorn to much of the last decade. But had I gotten out when I should have...I wouldn't have my wonderful son. \n\nStill I regret not going further in my schooling (med school, etc) when I had a chance and taking better career choices than where I have ended up so far. Yet without those choices I would not have been so lucky to have found you.\n\nI regret wasting many years abusing drugs and not focusing on my life after adolescence. But even without those years I would not have so many of the life experiences and failures that I have grown with and been able to help other with, and hopefully will continue to help others with, to keep from making the same mistakes that I have. \n\nSo, I suppose that I have regrets, but couldn't afford to take any of them back.
1089163
Leave the past in the past and don't get worked up about it because there is nothing you can do to change what happened.
254218
You can't.... you use what you know about the past and change the future. Don't be wishful that something could have happened differently. If it had, you wouldn't be who you are today.
522048
well i have a horrible past! and i built up walls to it. but i have recently found out that to move on from it---i had to break them down and deal with it---now i can move on from it! if you have never had a bad past, you can never fully understand how it effects your present! agree???? well life for me is better! but i have such a tendency to look for trouble and heartache...i guess it is still in me to live a troubled life......
571953
I have not, however it always comes to say 'what goes around comes around'--- The past is something that will always come back to you in one way or another!! People need to be more careful in what they do in the spur of the moment, it may not find you today, tomorrow, or next year, however, it will come back for you in one way or another!! God will never forget anything that you have done, and keeps track of EVERYTHING!!! Good Luck for what found you!!
185313
u dont leave the past in the past
661655
In last years' nests there are no birds this year.  In other words, do not look to the past, look only to the future.  No matter what you choose, the journey begins with the first step.  Take it and don't look back.\n\nBelieve in yourself.  Otherwise nobody else will.  Do not let a piece of paper (judgment) affect what you do with your life and your future.  So make a difference.
298115
It doesn't.  It is important to study the past so we can learn from the collective experience of the human race.  That way we can avoid repeating mistakes, and try to repeat sucessful choices.
545926
No don't dig up the past!
1048244
Well, unfortunately you can't erase the memories of past relationships. There is always going to be something that reminds you of that person. A good way to bypass the baggage is not to use it against the new love.  They don't deserve to be compared to or treated as if they are going to be the same way. Not everyone is the same way. Have a positive outlook on any new relationship and learn from the previous ones.
182570
Hey, the only thing I can tell you to do is to LET GO OF THE PAST!!! The only way you and your husband can go on and have a life togather is to let go of the past.It worked for me and my husband.It is hard at first but time heals all wounds.If you  both really love each other and you truly forgive him make it work..Just think you won not her...
928293
I think past is past. Don't care too much. \n\nHe has lived with his current name all the time. Just live with that, don't ever change it even though it's not his true name. You will get more trouble if you do that.\n\nLike others said, it's just a name, nothing important behind.
434226
Yes. Think about everything that has happened in your life. (I have no idea how old you are) Now think from the now(the present) and go backwards (to the past) don't go too fast. Now ask yourself, Why did I make that particular decision? Look at what led to you making that decision, the events, how you felt, and why you didn't make a different decision. Something prompted you make a particular decision. (I hope I haven't lost you by now, bear with me for a moment more) Even before you made that decision there were other decisions and so on and so forth. Believe it or not our decisions we make now affect what decisions we make later. Put it this way they affect the process for us to make the next decision. So yes,I believe "Everything happens for a reason".
341349
Dont go backwards. History has a way of repeating itself-move forward is it really worthwile putting yourself through emotional turmoil again? She wants you and someone else???? You are worth more.
371341
Stop living in the past and don't worry about the future. Seize the day.