Hows life being a military wife?
828474
I am a military wife, and I can honestly say take all the time together as you possibly can with your husband. The life style isn't that bad, sometimes they are gone to the field, range, and schools, but then you have the deployment, which everyone goes through I swear. The moving isn't too bad, the military moves you for free, and you can get on post housing and just loose the BAH ( your housing allowance) and just have to worry about phone, cable, internet, and bills like that. \nTo me the cons are: them being gone for the field, range, possible deployment, and whatever else the army wants the soldier to do. \nTo me the pros are: steady job, you get to go to new places, see the world, steady paycheck, free insurance, and to be able to walk with the pride of being an army wife. I have been to 2 duty stations in 5 years, Ft. Stewart and now I get to live in Hawaii for 4 years. \nIf you need to talk to anyone you can IM me, my yahoo is always one
289994
My husband has been deployed for most of our 5 year marriage as well but I am a dedicated wife who knows this is his job and I support him and his job 100%, no questions. In order to be a military wife, you have to have a strong foundation and you have to know that the Army is first..I mean, my husband puts me first but when he is deployed, he has to put his job first in order to stay focused, his main job in Iraq is to stay focused and I do everything here that I can to help him maintain that. We work as a team and have a very healthy, happy and strong marriage despite all of the deployments. You just need to reassure to your wife that this is what you have to do and that you both need to pull it together and it will make these deployments easier to "deal" with. As for the mental well being, you can both seek help with that. Contact your chaplain and he will guide you to what you need to do and where you can go for this help. Your wife should participate in the FRG's or start a support group. The main thing is to support each other and know that together, you can conquer anything. Stay strong and keep the chin up...stay safe and you'll be home sooner than you know it. If you're gone for a year, you should be getting a two week R&R time....take that time to rejuvinate. Good luck and thanks for all you do!!!!
379412
Yes, I understand and I am the wife of a Soldier..that's what I am doing
435683
My husband is currently deployed for the 2nd time.  It's hard, I am not going to lie.  But I grew up Marine Corps and then I married right back into it.  As long as you have the strength and the love for your husband/boyfriend/fiance you will make it.  I PROMISE!  I would truly say being a Military Members spouse during deployment or any other time is the toughest job in the corps.  We girls call ourselves "Semper Gumby" Always Flexible!  Cause, in reality, we have to be flexible, hardly seeing our loved ones, holding down the fort, and I am taking care of our beautiful 18 month old little boy but everyday I see that little boy of ours smile I remember my husband is doing his job and fighting for our freedom!  I pray for EVERY Man and Woman over there fighting and am very very proud of all of them, even the wives and families at home, missing their loved ones like crazy!  I have spent our only 2 anniversary's alone but when he is home it's all worth it!  I am proud to be a Marine Wife and I am proud to have my husband serve in the armed forces with anyone's husband, father, mother, sister, brother etc.  You will make it!!!!  Be strong!!!!  SEMPER GUMBY!
450942
If there is love and trust yes you guys can make it my brother in law was in the marines and it was hard for his girlfriend at first but they are now married and the 2 years went by fast for them.
606165
What an honor to be married to a man who wants to continue to serve and protect his Country.  Being able to obtain higher eduction during or after his term of enlistment is one of the least benefits we can offer the protectors of our freedom and Country.\n\nYou say you are newlyweds; and, by your own admission, he didn't re-up in the Army because *you* didn't like it.  So, it leads me to believe that you "knew what the job was when you took it."  Perhaps you need to understand that maybe he feels called to do it; that being a protector of his Country is something he sees as his duty.\n\nYou cannot marry a man and hope to change him.  No one should marry with the hopes of changing the other.  If you fell in love with him while he was military, then a huge part of the person you fell in love with was how he believed in himself as a military man.\n\nSounds to me like he tried ~ for your sake.  And now it's time for you to stop acting like a spoiled, entitled princess who makes all the decisions in the family.  Your husband is an adult and can make his decisions independently of you.  At least he consulted with you and tried his best to put all your fears to rest.\n\nShould you threaten to leave him if he does this, it's quite likely he'd be better off with out you.  You come across as a very stifling person; a dream killer, so to speak.  There are a LOT of women out there who would likely burst with pride to have a husband like that.\n\nStand proudly by his side with your head held high and give him all the support you would expect him to give you in any important decision you were making.  If you can't do that, then give the man a break.  You've probably about worn him out by now with shrewish behaviors.\n\nVery, very sad.
794560
Married life is wonderful. Always knowing that someone is there if you have a crappy day. Being able to make love whenever you want to. Cuddling with the person you love. Doing house chores together. Getting the two of yours first animal. Having kids. It's amazing.
1094115
it's nice to hear the air force is treating you well ... I was a army wife and it was not" 90210 "like you explained ...{thanks for the dumpy comment }, My husband was a GRUNT in Bosnia and in Afghanistan ... It was sheer hell for me and our 2 boys .. Im thankful for Ft. knox they did all they could do to make it as easy as they could for us during my husbands deployment... No matter what branch all these men and women are HEROS ! I was not aware that there were people who did'nt support our troops ... I just thought it was Bush they did'nt support ! being a "army" wife is very hard!!{ there is no fun and games at war} maybe I should have had my husband Join the airforce so we could not appear to be so dumpy!!! My husband is a hell of a man and Im very proud of what he has done for our country.. HOOAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
508978
This sums up the military spouse, I had it made into a scroll for my wife she hangs it up in every house we move to.....\n\nThe military wife~ \n---- Author Unknown \n\nThe good Lord was creating a model for military wives and was into His sixth day of overtime when an angel appeared. She said, "Lord, you seem to be having a lot of trouble with this one. What's wrong with the standard model?" \n\nThe Lord replied, "Have you seen the specs on this order. She has to be completely independent, possess the qualities of both a father and mother, be a perfect hostess to four or forty with an hour's notice, run on black coffee, handle every emergency imaginable without a manual, be able to carry on cheerfully, even if she is pregnant and has the flu, and she must be willing to move to a new location ten times in seventeen years. And, oh yes, she must have six pairs of hands!" \n\nThe angel shook her head, "Six pairs of hands? No way. \n\n" The Lord continued,"Don't worry, I will make other military wives to help her. And I will give her an unusually strong heart so it can swell with pride in her husband's achievements, sustain the pain of separations, beat soundly when it is overworked and tired, and be large enough to say, 'I understand' when she doesn't and say 'I love you', regardless." \n\n"Lord," said the angel, touching his arm gently. "Go to bed and get some rest.You can finish this tomorrow." \n\n"I can't stop now," said the Lord. "I am so close to creating something unique. Already this model heals herself when she is sick, can put up six unexpected guests for the weekend, wave good-bye to her husband from a pier, a runway or a depot, and understand why it's important that he leave." \n\nThe angel circled the model of the military wife, looked at it closely and sighed, "It looks fine, but it's too soft." \n\n"She might look soft," replied the Lord. "But she has the strength of a lion. You would not believe what she can endure." \n\nFinally the angel bent over and ran her finger across the cheek of the Lord's creation. "There's a leak," she announced. "Something is wrong with the construction. I am not surprised that it has cracked. You are trying to put too much into this model." \n\nThe Lord appeared offended at the angel's lack of onfidence."What you see is not a leak," He said. "It's a tear." "A tear?" What is it there for?" asked the angel. \n\nThe Lord replied, "It's for joy, sadness, pain, disappointment, loneliness, pride and a dedication to all the values that she and her husband hold dear." \n\n"You are a genius!" exclaimed the angel. \n\nThe Lord looked puzzled and replied, "I didn't put it there."
105964
I am a wife of a Sgt. in the USMC (United States Marine Corps)
1020209
Well I went through the same things so I can tell you EXACTLY what she have to expect to happen. He is already in the army and at his duty station, which mean that she is NOT in his orders. They can get married but they are NOT going to move her or the kids (if any) because they weren't married BEFORE he got the orders. So as far as the military is concerned, the marriage mean NOTHING. After he comes back home for good or get orders to be stationed somewhere else then its a process (About 2-3weeks) (maybe shorter or longer) to get in the DoD system) he have to go through to get his wife and the kids (if any) in the system so that they can be included in his orders next time. My husband is in the Marines and he got orders to Japan. We got married after he received his orders so i had to wait until his two year were up (which will be next month) before me and our child were included in his orders. So from next month on out me and our daughter will be able to travel with him where-ever he goes....if I can answer any more questions just let me know, cause I KNOW 1st hand!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! As far as housing goes once he is stationed at another base or whateva they an get on base housing (if available) if not he can get BHA (Basic Housing Allowance)...which will pay for them to live in civilian housing off-base. So they can get married and YES it can work out even though there is a HIGH divorce rate for the military..it all depends on them if they willing to make it work...(Its hard at times though but they just have to be strong)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
844046
i have been a navy wife and i have been an army wife.  it depends on where you end up being stationed for either on what it's like.  when you are in your home city (or close enough where you don't live on post or deal with the FRG) you're only real source of what's going on is your husband - which is actually helpful as you don't hear 40 different things - none of which are right, and you don't get 4 billion emails about crap you don't care about, and you don't get stuck in the damn rumormill.  \nit was fine in the navy - when he left, i stayed with my parents in san diego because that was where he was stationed.  we are abroad now and we did the blue to green so we are now army.  it's a wonderful experience, but at the same time totally frustrating!  my FRG (i'm sorry, FRG is Family Readiness Group and you refer to the leader as the FRG) never  sends me any relevant information about my husband's unit and yet i get all this useless information that i don't care about.  there is supposed to be a POC (point of contact person) who calls at least once a month - i've been here 6 months, 2 months with my husband gone and she has never called - i don't even know who my POC is!  granted, i don't go to the FRG meetings - but why would i go when they don't do anything that is relevant to me and they make it difficult for me to go with a 14 month old?  \nalso living on post leaves you very vulnerable to the rumor mill, it seems especially the higher ranked enlisted wives do it.  they also tend to wear their husband's rank - abosolutely unacceptable!  myself and the 3 ladies i have made friends with are the wives of an E3, an E5, and 2 E6's (one E6 is only friends with me) so we don't care, and that's the way it is supposed to be in housing.  your rank does not go with you when you are out of uniform.  everyone gets the same respect out of uniform and since wives are never in uniform... yeah.  but it tends to not work that way.  there is this whole web of crap to deal with.  i tend to not.  i have also already made it clear that if i am included in this rumormill i will take them to court on charges of slander and defemation of character - i won't put up with it, but most wives will and that's why it's so widespread.\n\nif you are going to be stationed abroad, don't expect any help from the army to get you to your husband quickly - it was 6 months for all the paperwork to go through because no one could tell us everything we needed to do it so as we got one thing done we were then told another thing we needed to do and since he was already in europe and i was in arizona it was very difficult.\n\nother than that, it's fine.  you get to meet new people, have new experiences - if you live on post it's like it's own little world... kinda wierd to me, but you may like it.  and depending on your personality and what your husband does in the army you may not ever notice the rumors spreading like wildfire.\n\nmy tips, make friends with your housing person before you get a residence on base, find out where everything you NEED is at on base (they give you lots of useless info you have to sift through) and try to make friends with your neighbors, they are going to be the people you see most.
392610
Military families are well taken care of. They get free healthcare and prescriptions and free living quarters with utilities paid. If they live off post they get additional money for living expenses. My husband has been in for 16 years and he loves his job and his duties as a soldier. He has so many awards, I can't even count them. Some people choose to be a soldier because that's what they want to be in life.
1081923
deployments are hard...i'm going through my first right now.  We're 8 months in....and it's going really smoothly besides the loneliness factor.  I'm by no means a professional at this, i'll just give you some tips that have helped my husband and I through so far.  \n\nFirst off...i try to send him something twice a week.  Whether it's a package with beef jerky and books and games, or just a card with some pictures in it....it keeps him going. He loves getting the mail, and it gives him something to look forward to.  \n\nUnless he's a big writer, don't expect too many letters.  There honestly isn't that much to say about what's going on over there. Either he can't tell you...or he doesn't want to.  Leave it at that.  Don't question him.  It's hard.  \n\nThis first deployment will make or break your marriage.  You need to be strong and supportive of everything he does.  Just remind him how much you love him, and miss him, and how proud you are of what he's doing.  Being a military wife is the hardest job in the military, because you're the home base and the shoulder to lean on.  Again, just be strong.  \n\nIf you leave on or near base, there are FRG's you can get involved with.  That's a family readiness group in case you didn't know.  They personally didn't help me much, but they'll keep you up to date on deployments and things happening around base that you might be interested in.  \n\nMAKE SURE you have power of attorney.  It's next to impossible to do anything without it.  3 words...power of attorney.  \n\nNow what to expect...expect sleepless nights.....alot of worrying about where he is, what he's doing, when he might get the chance to call again.  There are blackouts CONSTANTLY, sometimes my husband can't call for a week.  Again, if you live on or near a base, from my personal experience, you're just another military wife....they aren't that sympathetic.  \n\nIf you have any questions, or just feel like you need someone to talk to....feel free to contact me, i don't know much, but i'm going through the same thing you are.  Good luck, and god bless....you'll do fine!!!
881431
As a ex military wife there is always a chance for deployment.\nPlan your wedding the way, you want it. Keep a strong line of communications, you will be his rock. If possible meet as many wives, girlfriends that will be in your future husbands reserve unit, get to know them. They will become you new best friends and your rock. The military will make you both stronger and prouder than you ever image possible. Live everyday to it's fullest and always respect his wishes to serve his country, even when your scared for his sanity.
1151474
yep!!\nmarried for 3 yrs, were in the army, my hubby is in Iraq right now for a year..I love being a military wife. I wouldn't have it any other way..(except the part of them having to go to Iraq)
427007
HOAH!!!!! NO PETS, 2 kids, moving in 8 days to Germany...I love being a part of the Army community...I have made so many friends and the kids have memories for a lifetime...the camaraderie is awesome and everyone is family...and of course the worst is deployments, but after the first couple of times it's normal...in my opinion there is no better life than this