How did you feel when and if your parents got divorced?
829881
the same & I never got over it
280362
It is not your fault. It is never the child's fault,never. You have to believe that. I am divorced for many years now, and I know what I am talking about, here. Your mom yells because she feels a lot of stress and sadness, and she needs time to get used to what all happened. But you won't be able to get them back together because you didn't break them up. They are the adults, everything that happened THEY did it--not you.\n\nJust love them both. Tell them both how much you love them, and that you will always love them no matter that they don't love each other any more. Then you love yourself too. You sound like a real sweet, good kid. I wish I could help.\nGod bless you little one.\n\n(joelejr is just being a dork.  and bookreader doesn't understand, it is not the child, it is the adult who ends the adult relationship)
71910
I guess it really depends on the situation. My parents were separated for about a year, give or take, until they finalized their divorce
1136784
I was always afraid of my father's death when I was growing up. My dad was my world (mom didn't want me so my dad raised me by himself). My biggest fear was him passing away. One night he left to go to the store for coffee, and was killed by a drunk driver. It hit me like a ton of bricks. No matter how much I tried to prepare myself for that day, it was nothing compared to how I actually felt. My world had crumbled the second that my step brother called me. I got depressed, and closed everyone out. No one understood me like my dad did. Everyone thought I had gone nuts, but it was my way of dealing with it. In two days it'll be three years since it happened. Things haven't been the same since. I got married and didn't have him there to walk me down the aisle, he never got to see his grandson. There's times I'm glad he's not here now because he would beat my husband to death for hitting me, and if he didn't then, he would've after we divorced. Anyways, the best advice I can offer is make the best out of every moment you spend with her and always cherish the times you've had with her. Her death is inevitable, and there is no way to prepare yourself. When it happens, talk to someone, anyone you think my have even the tiniest idea on how you're feeling. Talk about her because remembering her the way she was is the best way to deal with death. It won't get better immediately, but give it time. Since my dad's death I truly feel alone in this world, but I've found out that I do have some true friends who have helped me out through this. If you don't have someone you can talk to, if you like, you can IM me anytime...my yahoo ID is under my profile....think I'm making this too long winded as it is :D.
602959
Hi, what you feel now is understandable, especially at this age,well-known as crisis of teenager period. But please trust me, if your parents separated it is not because of you and you should not be selfish,they have a right to live their own lives,if they do not want to be together. Would you prefer them to pretend and play happy family when they may not be happy together. Believe me, if they are apart it does not mean they love you less - both love and cherish you and your task now to help them by being understandable. You will understand them when you will start dating and get married. Put yourself in their position: will you live with a person you are not in love anymore. I mean they still love each other but it different love, not passionate. Please be understandable you are mature enough,be brave.
145769
It wasn't fantastic but who's is.  I mean I always thought it was great until I look back on it as an adult and realize my mom was too controling and my dad mentally abusive.  I still love them but find my self carrying some of their traits and am having a hard time letting the go.
553338
I know lot of situations where it can be very hard to be a kid .  Having divorced parents sucks.  You need to remember the divorce is about their relationship with each other and not about you.  Hopefully your parents will work together to make life positive for you.  Talk to someone you know cares about you.  It will help you get through this tough time.
1049224
parents have their own reasons for doing so, just trust them and love them, be glad that u still have parents, you wouldnt know how it feels when they're gone.....
105631
YES! Getting a divorce was the best thing I ever did! My husband left me for another woman and it was the BEST decision HE ever made!  I finally found out who I was and it was the best few years I ever had (after I finally got over him leaving). My son was 3 and it was difficult for him, but he is 8 now and is a very happy little boy! I am now engaged with the love of my life and couldn't be happier!
3077
just go along w/it.my parents are divorced and i just made a schedule to see both parents and it works fine. you get used to it after awhile.
1104398
I've never been married as I'm only fifteen, but my parents were married for fifteen years and got divorced when I was thirteen.\n\nI know that my mom asked for the divorce because she was tired of my dad coming home from work, eating dinner and then laying on the couch in front of the TV for the rest of the evening. He never helped out with anything unless she asked him to do it a half-a-dozen times, and even then sometimes she ended up doing it herself. He didn't want much to do with "family" things unless it involved a picnic that someone on his side of the family was having, then he expected us to want to go to those sorts of things. \n\nAlso, when they fought, he would give her the cold shoulder like a child; he would just ignore her and act as though she didn't exist for the whole day, sometimes the whole week and one it even lasted almost two weeks.\n\nShe got tired of dealing with it all and wasn't happy any longer. She tried talking to him about it on several occasions and he never did anything about it, so she asked for a divorce.
840428
My wife and I divorced when our sons were 5 and 2 1/2.  It was a miserable experience.  The divorce was painful because I didn't feel like I belonged anywhere anymore.  There was no normality.  Even more painful was not being with my sons everyday.  The hurt will not disappear overnight.  You probably don't want to hear this but it just takes some time.  One thing that will help is to maintain a civil relationship with your ex, but while the hurt is still there try to restrict your conversations to the children.  As for the children, do whatever you can to make sure you have as much time with them as you possibly can.  Focus your energy on making sure they know you want them around and that your home is also their's and they aren't just visitors.  I know the pain you are feeling and my heart goes out to you.  This won't make the hurt go away completely, but it does give you something to sort of hang-on to that is positive.
231040
My initial reaction would depend on how and why she died.  But ultimately, it's just an overwhelming feeling of emptiness, anger, and sadness.  My father died in July 2005, his birthday was yesterday. Although he was sick, his death was sudden and unexpected.  I don't think that you ever really get over it.
935779
Of course.... I do remember well. My childhood was dark, sad, lonely, unhappy and full of emotional and physical abuses. I just had the feeling of lack of love cuz my parents neglected me.
1094910
i've gone through a lot of emotional issues from the time i was little. My father as an abusive ex-drunk and my mom has always been somewhat verbally abusive. How do i feel about it?I hate the fact that i was never really allowed to have a care free childhood and hate having memories of my dad beating me up or having to leave my house at night because my mom and dad had fought.
263440
My parents got divorced when i was about 22... the way I handled it was to just look at their marriage the same as any relationship... people break up! - its not that big a deal & life goes on... \n\nObviously its sad, but at least, after years of not talking, they've finally managed to become friends again & that makes a big difference too!\n\nOf course it depends on your age... for younger children its a little more complicated...
106579
I had a classmate who was told on the telephone that her parents were divorcing. I have never seen anybody who looked as pained as she did. Their teen years are times when people have to deal with the very issues that divorce raises. They have self esteem issues.\n\nIf their parents' marriage was a mistake, are they themselves-a product of that marriage a mistake?. If their parents stop loving each other, will they stop loving their child? The parents didn't love the child enough to stay together for his/her sake. These teen years are the times when a child is supposed to question the values they have grown up with, decide whether they have been taught correctly and formulate their own code of behavior. What are they to do when the parents themselves are not faithful to ethics what they have taught the child?\n\nThese are years when the child is supposed to separate from the parents emotionally and become his/her own person. In rebelling against the parental authority, have they themselves caused a problem in the home that brought about the divorce? Is it the child's fault? Do they dare continue the process of separating from the parent? Or can they dare to continue to depend on either parent at all and would it be safer to cut all ties emotionally and not feel anything. Which parent are they to be loyal to? Which parent are they to remain emotionally attached to? Who is at fault? Why did this happen? Can they do anything to get the parents back together again? If the child indulges in self destructive behavior, will someone pay attention to him/her or are the parents interested only in themselves or in new lovers or new families?