What is the best way to get over my fear that my spouse is cheating?
820390
You cannot stop him if he does so stop worrying and live your life!
436994
Has he always been this way or has it just been recently?  Has anything happened between the two of you, as far as cheating, that would make him feel like he had to be so inquisitive?\n\nI just don't see how you can be together without trust; that is the number one thing in a relationship.  This situation will not get better if you just ignore it.  Do you really want to have to worry the rest of your life about what he is going to say when you come home an hour late or if some other male calls you, no matter who it is!  \n\nIf it were me, I would get it out in the open with him and really discuss how you are feeling.  Maybe even suggest you two going to a counselor.  You should be able to tell from his responses if he is willing to work on things and change to better your relationship.\n\nGood luck!
186041
Well Jess, I can really relate to your problem.  I was also in a 5 1/2 year relationship with a guy who was also in law enforcement.  He cheated on me with 22 women while we were together.  He, too, lied about EVERYTHING.  He had a lot of friends in law enforcement who were married, and they were all cheating on their wives.  I don't know what it is about that profession, but all of the ones I have known have become unfaithful to their partners.  And as for this other guy you are seeing... okay, maybe you didn't sleep with him YET, but the simple fact remains that he has a wife at home and if he is calling all of the time and telling you how much you mean to him, then he might as well be cheating!!  And you never know, law enforcement personnel are some of the most biggest manipulators in the world... he may be telling you that he doesn't want to cheat so that when it does finally happen, you won't feel so bad about it!  I understand how this man makes you feel, but your emotions are getting in the way because you are going through such a hard time with your husband.  You have to make a rational decision about this.  I think the best thing you can do is to leave your husband... he is no good for you and never will be.  Also leave the other guy alone because he will be doing the same thing before long!  I hope I have helped you and if you need someone to talk to more about your situation, please don't hesitate to contact me at nisey513@yahoo.com... Good luck!
1108244
I'm happily married and dont cheat, but if I were to , I would protect myself. Help ya any?
1139044
Well, if I had a husband and I suspected him cheating I would first come out and ask him! Heck with pretending to be someone else. It's pretty much how well you know him also, a woman will always have to trust her instincts if you suspect him being a cheat then look for clues, if he keeps cheating it won't be long before he gets caught, no matter what a cheating spouse sooner or later WILL get caught. That's why I'm divorced now, but I was the one that cheated and yep! I got caught.
28357
First I would validate that s/he indeed is cheating.\n\nS/he might have other issues that you are not aware of.\n\nConfront the person if possible, in a non-hostile manner.
427729
If the spouse has done something to make you suspicious, it is okay to snoop. How else are you going to find out if something is going on or not? You certainly won't get a straight answer out of them and if they are trying to hide something, they will try to cover their tracks better because they'll think you're on to them. So when you feel suspicious, you should snoop right away - don't give them the chance to hide any evidence. You will either confirm your suspicions or realize that you were overreacting.
914199
Wow,  see a councilor or you pastor.  If anything happened to your husband you would never forgive yourself.  You owe it to your marriage and each other to stay faithful.  Stay away from bars and build a network of female friends.  Scrapbook, learn a new craft or find a job to keep you connected with other people.  Break off the affair immediately and keep your self respect.
11555
Honesty is the best policy. Tell your spouse how you are feeling and what has been going through your mind. Then go in together and get some good marital counseling. Oh, and getting rid of the computer until the health of your marriage recovers is indeed a good idea.
263963
Take a moment to get the act of cheating to suck in and your emotions under control. Get all your thoughts together in a logically manner. Tell him exactly how you feel,in a lady-like manner because he will expect you to be bitter so don't give him that satisfaction,  don't hold anything back because you don't want to later regret not saying something. Move on with your life and don't look back, don't let him make a fool out of you again. Best of luck.
1081370
Yes, you can get over it if you really want to.  The first step is to truly forgive him and let all your anger and bitterness go.  Your marriage has been through a lot - and you have been through a lot, you should really get into marriage counseling.  Having someone to help you get your marriage back on track and sort out your feelings will really help.  Usually when someone cheats it indicates problems in the marriage and lack of communication - these are things that a counselor can help with.  Best of luck and know that your marriage can be repaired.
34801
Lying is part of the Affair. First print a hard copy of the BLog, and all Emails for future referance. Chances are it has gone farther and she is covering it up. \n\nThe only way to get through the lies is to catch her in the act. I suggest you contact a private investagetor to look into the matter, They have knowledge and resourses that you would not have, plus by having a third party you get honest information and not biased based on how you feel. Now if you learn that she is not cheating, "yet" then I suggest you work on the relationship before she does. \n\nI would suggest you seek help in counciling. Your not going to be able to resolve the issue by yourself. She is looking at other men probably due to an unmet "NEED" at home. You can read books like those listed below to help identify what those needs are, but until you begin meeting the "NEED" your self, and expose the lies you have no chance of saving the marriage.
322011
First, let go of the fear and trust him.  He will pick up on it and begin to think that you do not trust him.\n   The most important part to any relationship is communication.  It is extremely important for both of you to feel you can go to your partner with any problem, issue or desire, and have an open mind listen to you.  Many relationship fail because there is a lack of communication between partners.  They do not express if they are feeling lonely, unloved, sexually unsatisfied, etc.  If you can communicate these things with each other, talk out and compromise your differences and needs, then that is a huge step to keeping your relationship alive and healthy.\n   Always remember to keep your individualism, while at the same time knowing that you can depend on your partner to be there when you need them.  Don't be afraid though to rely on your partner to help you if you need it.\n   Enjoy each other each and every day as if it might be your last, because in this fragile thing we call life, it could be.  Love each other every day as much as you can.  \n   Most importantly, trust him and your love.  If he truly loves you he will not do anything like that to you.\n\nPeace, luck and love
945260
i think you need to sit down with him and have a heart to heart talk. ASk him if he is happy with you or tired of you. don't want to scare you but from experience, sounds like he is cheating on you.   Good luck and God bless
213137
My husband cheated on me too.  It took a couple years to stop thinking about him with this other woman. It was very hard to stop feeling betrayed.  I don't think theres any certain methods.  Only it takes two.  He has to reasure you that he loves you, and he has to prove to you that he's not going to do this again.  But, you have to accept this, and learn to trust him again.  Youll never forget this, but, It'll only be a foggy memory.  it just takes time, and no one else can tell you how long, it's different for everyone.  Good luck. stay strong...
135946
Joe, I can relate to your situation. My husband is in work release and right now he is accusing me of the exact same thing. Just when I think that we have gotten past this something else pops up and we start this mess all over again. Are you positive that there is an affair going on? Speak to your wife in a loving tone and really let her know that this is bothering you. Let her also know that you won't stand for any lies. If she is unfaithful then the pressure of you being nice is going to make her feel guilty that she will admit to her wrong. Just so you know, I have never ever cheated on my husband and I wouldn't ever because of the love and the respect that I have for him and myself. Marriage is a give and take and both husbands and wives need to do this more and more. Good luck and may God bless you through this journey.
1040851
yes, you may not be physically cheating but its no different to have an emotional affair, I would stop all contact with this other person that you have feelings for and start concentrating on your spouse and try and rekindle the feelings that you had in the beginning of your relationship before things get too far and you cant take it back.