If Ninja Buhhda was hiding in Your chimney would You leave some sandwiches for Him to eat at night?
832361
No. Cookies and Milk are the way to go.
745697
hoover up some crackers so she can have something to eat.\n\nOr better still, open up the hoover and get her out.
516363
You would have to put tasty looking food with Rat Poison in it so that the next time he eats it he will surely perrish. I don't think anyone will miss someone who eats out of the garbage anyhow so you are cool.
692145
LOL no give him a toaster :D
788042
Nope I'm a very messey cook and would probably ruin my nice clothes!!!!  I would love to take him hime too!!!
542046
its 3 am here i would love one! i  have the super munchies dude my pizza just aint doin tha thing! haha SMOKE WEED EVERYDAY!
954136
You are not being unreasonable to ask your daughter to take her main meal earlier, but you will feel guilty won't you? Could you give your partner a small snack of sandwiches so that the three of you could have a main meal together when she gets home? Don't be a door-mat for all and sundry, you have a life too you know.
1028388
I would beat a mothafu*kers azz to the white meat, if he f*ck'd with me, my lady, my fam', and dog!!!\n\nI whoop that azz!
186232
Hide the toilet paper, tooth paste and only leave enough food out or in the fridge for you and any kids. Next time you sit down to eat see how that Carburetor he bought tastes to him that you put on his plate. He will take the hint.
624915
Tell her to use a toilet paper tail to lunch, as if it  got stuck there after going to the bathroom
711012
a clean bed, bottle of water and a brother in law waiting for me to cook food lol..\nurs sound much more tempting, can v trade?\n\nlol\nPS: maybe i'll order pizza today lol...
1022067
Tie your hair back and use the stovetop. unless you use gas. then really you should shift your lazy ass to the store.get me some rizlas while you're there
1122752
Would you like some crackers with that?\nActually, why don't you come on in? It's almost dinner time, and I just happen to be making soup! Now, if you'll just sit in that big cast iron pot of water on the fire there, I'll be back with your sugar in a moment!
899554
I guess it would depend on how it was prepared.  Fried slug or baked stuffed rat. lol
389366
Definitely go with the peanut butter, as that should nicely mask the smell of bitter almond from the cyanide. Then you can run away with me after the party on Friday.
1103894
Yep! Sure I would hide him and talk about what he knows for hours and days long :) Where would I hide him? In my home cuz I don't live in the USA and it would be soooo hard to find him in my house ;)
731006
Walk into the most secure bank I know of dressed in a SpongeBob Squarepants costume, demand all the clerks give you all the sweets and jellies they might have on their person and use my sandwich as a theatening weapon... I think that would be pretty crazy.