boyfriend joined the navy but has cheated on me?
817125
you need to calm youself first, and maybe even take notes on what exactly you want to say and then talk to him yourself.  you absolutely do not have to take him back - he lied to you and cheated on you.  trust is what relationships are built upon and he just did the two worst things to break that trust.  \n\nhe cannot just leave the navy either - he has a contract with them and they can put him in military jail if he goes AWOL (absent without leave).  he has to finish out his contract before he can leave, so that should give him time to straighten himself out.\n\nyou do not need to cowtow to his sister.  she is concerned for her brother, and that is very nice of her - but it is not your responsibility to keep him in the navy.  he took all responsibility for his welfare away from you when he cheated on you.  now it is up to you whether or not to forgive (you will never forget).\n\nmy neighbor has been married for 13 years and her husband cheated on her when they were first married.  they do have a loving relationship, and as much as she protests that she trusts him - by the things she says i know she does not... at least 12 years later.\ni could never live that way - i told my husband (who joined the navy after we had been together for about 3 years and is now in the army) when we first started dating that there were 2 things he could do and no matter what i would leave him - cheat on me or raise his hand to me.  \nyou need to do what is best for you - he is an adult, he can do what is best for himself.\n\nwow, after reading some of the other responses - please do not think that all men are like this, and do not think that all men in the military cheat on their wives - this is not true.  it is also not an accepted behavior in the military anymore - it may have been years ago, but no longer.  \ndo not let him turn you bitter - you are too young to live your life bitter and angry at all men because of 1 man.
436994
Has he always been this way or has it just been recently?  Has anything happened between the two of you, as far as cheating, that would make him feel like he had to be so inquisitive?\n\nI just don't see how you can be together without trust; that is the number one thing in a relationship.  This situation will not get better if you just ignore it.  Do you really want to have to worry the rest of your life about what he is going to say when you come home an hour late or if some other male calls you, no matter who it is!  \n\nIf it were me, I would get it out in the open with him and really discuss how you are feeling.  Maybe even suggest you two going to a counselor.  You should be able to tell from his responses if he is willing to work on things and change to better your relationship.\n\nGood luck!
1058337
Yes, I have been cheated on.  But if you ever met my man you would have never guessed that he would ever have done that.  We are still together, he realized what he did was wrong and promised that he would never do that again or I was gone with no second thought. It really hurt me that he would do somthing like that to me, I didn't even find out until a year after it happened. There were some signs though, he became very jealous when I was with any guy or had them in my cell phone and he didn't know them.  There also pictures of the two of them together, he said at first she was just a friend.  Even when I talked to his friends they were shocked.  There is no way to prevent cheating if a guy is going to do it he will.  He told me the reason why he cheated on me was because he said that he wanted to be with me so bad and thought it was me, he was gone for a week. Right before he left I spent a week with him at his lake house and he was telling me that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me.  Well it has been 3 years now since he cheated on me and I love him with all my heart, and he feels the same way. He knows now that even if I hear a rumour that he was with another girl it's over and he is scared of loosing me.  That was why I stayed with him when I told him that it was over and I never wanted to see him again, it took him 10 minutes for him to leave and he left with tears. then 3 hours later his roomate called me nervous becasue he hadn't seen him and it was 2 am in the middle of the week. I ended up calling him and had been sitting out my window crying  thinking what is he going to do because he really felt that his life was over becasue of a dumb mistake, thats when I knew that he  would be faithful.  I knew that he really loved me.  I hope this helped!
75868
Confront him first. If he blames you for his cheating and shows no remorse then give him the boot!
655975
My boyfriend is coming back in July too from the Marines. I just try to occupy myself by working and going to school. Just try to talk to him on the phone and keep your relationship fresh. I usually just hang out with my friends and have a good time but also stay faithful to my boyfriend
1097927
Listen honey...I was in the Navy for 6 years, and went through my own relationship issues.\n\nYou have to look yourself in the heart: do you love this young man? If you do, he will return, and all of this will be forgotten.\n\nIf you separate from him, AND you still love him...I just don't see the benefit there for you.\n\nI am sure you already know this, but those who serve in the armed forces are very passionate for what they believe in...is this so bad to have in a bf/fiance/spouse? He is patriotic, and after his time is done he will be a hard working provider. Are you sure you want to say no now? You may find better...but since I don't know him...that is for your own heart to decide.\n\nWHATEVER YOU DO: don't send him a Dear John letter while he is overseas. Break cleanly before he goes...or wait for his return.\n\nGood luck in your decision. It is your life...but him being in danger every second of the day says something about his personality. It is stressful. I know. When I married my wife we were actually both in the Navy, and I know neither of us was in danger like your hon, but still...separation breeds anxiety. Think about this: if something happens to him...and you split up with him before he went, would you feel any less pain? If you are the person I am taking you to be, I bet not.\n\nTake care.\nJust remember...make sure your decision comes from the heart...not the brain. Sometimes our brains think too much!
706098
well staying in the relationship cuz of transportation reasons is really a bad and probably unhappy choice. You definintely need to break it off with him.he's not respecting you and even if he hasn't physically cheated on you he is still cheating by obviously saying stuff to girls he doesn't want you to know. in 2002 when I was with my b/f at the time,I was in his dorm and I was sitting on the bed and he had this chart thing on the comp, it had everyone's phone number and he freaked out at me, cuz I was looking at the screen and it was because there was a girl's phone number on there. I wouldn't have thought anything of it but he was feeling guilty.he eventually told me everything a week or so later.Everything started to make sense. he said ya know how I've been acting strange. well an example was I was talking to him on the phone and he said he was going out and I said oh what are you doing and he said GOING OUT! and I'm like omg wtf? ya know and it hurt,again that was him feeling bad about what he was doing.I mean what wrote seems a lot like what my friend Tom does.he's in a kinda controling relationship.he actually got married a year ago,definitely too young and he does say stuff to me that he shouldn't,so he sneaks around too on the phone and internet.You already saw a pic of a girls butt on his phone.that's cheating enough.You need to be like I'm letting you go.You obviously don't want 2 be here and you don't respect me and you don't care enough so you don't have to sneak around anymore cuz I'm threw with you. and then tell him to leave. ya gotta be tough like that cuz if you're not you might break down and let him back in.block his number and any communincation with him cuz it seems you might just go back to him.I dunno how old you guys are,but most likely he's gonna stay this way,unless he's a teenager and still young.Don't try to change him.just be done with him.Guys won't change unless they want to and you can't make them want to change.so many girls waste their time trying to change guys and it won't work and all it does is hurt you.Ya gotta just try and be happy and I'm sure another guy will come along.Just stay strong and be with family and friends for support.I hope everything works out for you.Just keep your hopes up and everything will be good.Think positively and confidently and you'll be happy.
1161918
I'm sure that if things were reversed and  you were coming home at 1am every night, he would ask you were have you been.  You can ask him the question but you may not get a truthful answer.  Either way, he's being disrespectful towards you.  I wouldn't jump into this with accusations, but I certainly would want an explanation.  After wards, you have to decide if you can trust him, or not.  Remember this, if he is cheating on you, you don't know if he is using protection, be careful with this.  Don't become a statistic.
355737
Why would you even need to ask? If you caught him and you know he lied about it, then it should be obvious what you should do, unless you want to stay with a lying cheat that you will not be able to trust. Honesty and trust are the basis of any good relationship and he destroyed them both. Don't you think you deserve a lot better than him? I sure do!\n\nS.S.
1079914
Go on Cheaters or Talk to him urself and find out whats going on. If he doesnt tell u the truth. Go with ur gut instincts and leave his sorry butt.
494046
Confront him with your insecurities. But don't go about it in an accusing manner. Rather, ask if everything is right between you two. Trust is everything in a relationship. If there are more signs that come up, then I would definitely look into it. But insecurities from your part needs to come to a resolution of if you do trust him or if you don't.  If there is real proof he is cheating on you then confront the issue. If not, let it be. Showing your lack of trust in him can be hurtful especially if he's been loyal to you all along.
377668
The question isn't whether or not it was cheating what you should ask yourself is what's the possibility that someone else might tell him what happen.  If you tell him he might forgive you but I doubt it but if he hear it from someone else you can forget it.  You can tell him I said if he is a good man meaning secure and confident he should believe you and let it go.
344670
Visit a Navy recruiter.  Ask him all the questions you like.\n\nThen don't believe a word he says - he is just there to get you to enlist, and he is not responsible for anything you think he promised.  You will not necessarily get the school he promised, or to be stationed at the place he promised, or to stay with your friends as he promised.
1017075
Send him to a place around other girls. Have someone "spy" on him. See what he does. If he cares, he won't do anything. I know this sounds a bit "cheap", but it is sure-fire, trust me.\n\nI am a guy. I have seen it a gazillion times on reality shows and talk shows AND in real life. Any guy who is NOT serious will cheat. I've known lots of them (and I'm a good honest man!!!) \n\nJust don't tell him you had him "spied". You can wait several years before you do that  : )\n\nBlessings,\nJon
997496
No. You are just setting yourself up to be cheated on again and again. It is like telling him he can walk all over you because you won't stand up for yourself. Besides, if he is sleeping around, he could bring home an STD. Take care of yourself first!
1180366
From the information you have provided I suspect you may be imagining things.\n\nYou have been together for 4 years but are still not married or living together. Is this yours or your boyfriend's choice? If your boyfriend's then perhaps his lack of commitment to the relationship is prompting these feelings that he is having an affair.\n\nYou have only given two examples of his suspect behaviour, the second of which is extremely weak. There is nothing in the SMS message that indicates it was addressed to a woman never mind a women he is having an affair with. The fact that he referred to you as his girlfriend makes me sceptical that it would have been to a woman he is romantically involved with.\n\nCatching him out in a lie about his meeting is a little more worrying. However you indicate that he had an excuse - was his excuse reasonable?\n\nPossibly your woman's intuition is just your subconscious telling you that you are no longer satisfied with the relationship and your boyfriend's lack of commitment and you are looking for a way out.\n\nDo you have any close friends that you can talk to about your concerns? They will probably be able  to give you a better opinion than anyone here.
638703
I was 20 and i met this navy guy at a bar. actually he was totally checking me out at the entrance and i got so mad because i hate when someone is checking me out. So, i went inside the bar and i saw him and i was like: you'll pay me back! so he was dancing by himself and I went to say hi and asked if he wanted to dance with me. after a while I could sense he was a nice guy. we made out and I asked him if he wanted to have sex with me and he said yes. we got a hotel room and he was sooooooooooooo sweet that it made me feel like we were meant to be together. after that i had to take a taxi home and he wanted to make sure that i was going to get home safe that he decided to go with me!!! I live in Tijuana Mexico and he was from San diego. after we got home he asked for my phone # but I never thought he was going to call back. and the next night he called!!!! saying he wanted to see me because he was missing me like crazy! I met him again 2 days later and he asked me if i wanted to be his gf. OMG that was the sweetest thing ever!! so, after that he would cross the border every single day to be with me. right after get off work he was on his way to see me. He used to get to my work around 230 and he would be there with me until it was time to go. he met my family (the whole family) a week after and i was so nervous because one of my brothers is soooooooo jealous but they became buddies!\nNOW THE BAD PART: he told me he had an accident and that he had to take medication for back pain. In Tijuana there's lots of pharmacies that will sell medicine without prescription and every 3rd day he spent more than a 100 dlls on medicine. amyways, he was so sweet and we were madly in love. he was separated and getting ready to get divorced and i was so happy because he wanted to marry me. Once i went to his base and I saw he had room for nothing, no privacy or anything and i asked him to move in with me since we had two bedrooms that we were not using. everything was so great and so perfect and i was so in love. gosh! thinking about it makes me want to cry! well, one day, crossing the border, the customs agents found the "medicine" he used to buy in Tijuana and he got in trouble for that. the navy opened a case for him and he got discharged from the navy and had to go for rehab in Maryland and have a surgery for his back. he told me that after that he had no future, no money and that he couldnt even get a job because noone was going to hire him after being discharched from the navy. after he got caught at the border i never saw him again. he left me and he said it was for the best, that he was a loser and that he didnt really love me, that he said he was in love with me because of the drugs side-effect. I had lost my dad 5 months before that and when i thought i could be happy again this horrible thing happened. it has been 6 years and i still wonder if he thinks of me, if he loved me at all... for me it was the best bf I ever had and still is. I've been with my current bf for over 4 years but sometimes I wish my bf could be as sweet and romantic as my bf back then was...