If I let a man abuse me mentally, is it 100% my fault? Isn't he responsible for how he behaves?
830571
yes he is responsible for his actions ---- if you allow him to keep acting in this way then he will never change --- he will never change unless he wants to and makes the effort\n\nbut allowing him to keep doing this becomes your problem ---- leave if you dont want to be abused any more --- he will either seek to change or another victim
418918
He may be accepting responsibility for what has transpired but it's you're relationship to. If he continues acting the way he is cut him lose.
167853
This guy sounds like he's really confused and a bit immature.  I think you really need to answer that phone and tell him how much you were hurt by what he did to you.  Talk it over . . . you might be surprised to find that he's been just as torn up about this as you have been!
574510
There is no reason for you to feel guilty.  Was he worried about hitting you ? was he worried about giving you a swollen face ? He should loose his friends and his job.  Truth is the longer he goes thinking he's not really doing anything wrong the worse he will get.  If more and more people come down on him for his actions and more and more people know about it the better it will be for everyone involved.  Now he has to answer to more people than just you.  That might change his actions.
941368
Though I don't blame myself for the abuse he put me through,\nI have still always felt ashamed that I didn't see the signs clearly when I met my ex-husband. Had I been able to see them more clearly, I wouldn't have had to suffer through the mental and physical abuse he put me through during our marriage.
477877
no I thought I knew him dated 6 years but now he turned abusive and I never thought he would do that.by the way thanks for your rude answer to my question.a person never deserves to be abused even if I was bitter which I wasn't I just wanted him to show he cared.but after being abused by someone I thought loved me and would never hurt me yes I am bitter now.
322781
My dear girl, I could not follow your explanation, but as far as treating you wrong, does it feel wrong?  If the answer is yes, then you already know the answer.  Don't let him push you around.
1094624
if he doesn't respect you, he doensn't deserve you!!! leave him; you deserve better! and do you mean hurt physically? that is NOT to be tolerated physical or verbal. get a new man.
99947
Your love obviously isn't being returned.  This person is using you and you don't deserve that.  By letting them get away with misbehaving you are just telling them that what they are doing is ok.  You need to put an end to what ever this behaviour is even if it means ending the relationship.  If you give your love to someone then you deserve to have it returned properly and if they can't do that then you need to find someone who will.
611743
I kind of think that if you have to ask yourself, "Am I being used?" Odds are, you ARE being used.  If someone does not make you feel your full worth, and if the energy he is putting into your relationship does not match your effort, then you should seriously re-evaluate the situation, because honey, you deserve one hundred per cent and no less. We all do.
61221
Ok, hun, he's an adult and I take it that you are a minor?  First thing, he should have never put you in a criminal situation to begin with.  Obviously he didn't care enough about you to keep you out of possibly going to jail, so I would just let him sit in there and think about what he has done....if he is a man at all, he should be the one apoligizing to you.
885087
The Mr. Nice Guy stuff is classic abuser behavior. Contact a domestic abuse center. Educate yourself. Get as much emotional support as you can from your friends and family. They can help you keep your head in the right place when you're having ambivalent feelings. These situations don't typically get better, they get worse. Good luck, my heart goes out to you.
118233
your behavior seems very irresponsible.  look at yourself.  take responsibility for yourself, your feelings, your actions.  Learn from your mistakes in this relationship
958810
You've already answered your question.  It's in your "question"/statement.  He made your life a living hell for four years... why should you even consider letting him do that to you again.  This guy obviously needs serious mental help and you're not qualified to help.  Change your phone number so he can't text you anymore and get on with your life.  You should feel no guilt.  You tried for way too long to help this loser and he used you.  Forget about this bum and find someone who will treat you with the love and respect you deserve.
229637
I'm sorry about what happened to you and your family.  \nI can't understand why women put up with abuse, either.  I can only imagine that it's because those men have a power over the women's minds.
888193
You don't mention what the arguments are about.  It sounds like he's trying to control you.  You're getting all tied into knots trying to figure out how to please him.  What is he doing to please you?  He gets things all wrong on purpose dear.  He is making you unsure of yourself, and he's with holding his affection from you.  I don't think I'm wrong about this.  Dump this jerk while you still have some self esteem left.
1051476
Please, don't blame yourself. I assure you, it is almost impossible it is your fault. I known many, many woman who though it was their fault, until they found a caring, loving guy. Talk to him. Does he knows this?  He should do everything he can to make you happy.