Men over 21 please.. What makes you freak out at the beginning of a relationship?
824236
The best thing to do is not rush anything.  That is what freaks guys out the most. You can paint paintings but do that kind of thing in moderation.  Don't smother or be clingy.  Resist the temptation to go all goo goo gaa gaa over him right off the bat.  It isn't wrong to feel that way about someone just keep some of it under wraps for right now. If it lasts there will be plenty of time for that later.  Just take a deep breath and relax. If you get some big bubbly surge of lovey dovey feelings just bite a pillow or write it in a journal.  Don't call him and go "I looooove you much I don't know what to do!"  Don't go to the extreme of pretending you don't like him either. It works for some guys but to others it is a turn off. Good luck.
875242
At 20 you have a lot to learn about yourself before you can put down 10 good solid reasons why men are smarter, responsible and more mature:  Here's a few that you should consider the opposite: \nIf you climax before the woman, then that means you are in for your own pleasure and the fact that  it means maybe you are a minute man or just in a hurry.\nHow many men stay around when they HELP make a baby, where's the child support, etc. (where's the maturity )\n\nSo what if you have a home, car, etc.,  those are the materialistic things some men (like yourself) think make a man.  Maybe you got up  on the wrong side of the bed, if so, go back to bed and try again.  At 20 you are still trying to find yourself.  In fact, you have to depend on someone to go to the liquor store for you.
594565
Get used to it...all women are somewhat crazed, especially when it comes to men. I wish I could tell you that it will get better when you get older but it wont, it's just one of those things you have to learn to deal with.
411794
Well, you didn't tell us how old you are so we have no idea if you're ready to settle down. Not that age would be an indicator that's set in stone but it usually gives context for your life experiences. Just go with the flow so that you see where you really stand on this issue.  If you're not ready to be seriously committed first, don't force it or you'll just end up hurting the both of you.
338007
it's because of the way we treat you!  You want someone a bit more mature then here we are.  You are at the perfect age when a guy in his mid 30's still feels young when he is with someone at your age
701305
I've always heard there are physiological reasons, hormone levels and such, but I don't know a whole lot about that.  \n\nI think most women over 30 have lost that worry over what they guy is going to think and enjoy themselves.  I mean, lets face it, if a woman is enjoying themselves during sex, what man is going to not enjoy that???  \n\nAlong with that, comes a willingness to experiment.  Just how far that willingness goes depends on the women, but I think even the most conservative of us are more adventurous at 30 than we were at 20.
1029116
I am 28,  seeing a man who is 49.  I have always dated older, several years older.  I have always been more "settled" than others my age,  never being into the whole party/drinking scene, etc, etc.  I find that older men have "been there,  done that" and are in turn more settled as well.  They better understand that pleasantness and value in just being able to sit next to someone and be content.  I don't really know how to explain it other than being more comfortable and laid back.
40643
Definately older. As a woman ,my rule is that if they're young enough to come out of me, they aren't going in!\nI respond well, and heed advice better from an older man. if a man is my age, I feel that our levels of life experience may be the same, where an older gentleman has "Been there, done that" and has something to offer
219642
I agree that its a maturity issue.\n\nMany young men are insecure, and don't want to stick around because they believe you will get too attahed to them.\n\nBUT...  you never know, some young guy, if they really like you, may stick around anyway.\n\nReally, the best thing to do is to be very comfortable with the person you sleep with, and hopefully they would be caring enough to stay afterwards.\n\nGood luck, use protection, and have fun.
231438
How early is early? I dont think it's an age thing, but more a maturity thing. If a girl is mature enough to be in a relationship, then by all means. But I know of 20 year olds who are very uncertain about what they want, and have low self esteem, and i would think that maybe they shouldnt be in a relationship just yet. \n\nWhat is your focus? what is important to you? Throughout most of my teens, i simply did not want a boyfriend. My focus was academics and hanging with my friends. No one in my close circle of friends had a bf, but that didnt mean none of us wanted one. For those who did persue a guy, it was just about experimentation. It most likely would never lead to something long lasting. Remember, it's an experiment for the girl as well as the guy. \n\nBut there are some people whose focus is on being in a relationship. Whether this is through peer pressure, what is fed to us and emphasized on the media, or simply believing that being in a relationship can make you happy... i dont know. \n\nThe best time to be in a relationship (something that may become long term), is when you know yourself. When you know what you stand for. When people are young, particularly during the teenage years, they are continuosly discovering things about themself. It's the whole "identity crisis" "searching for yourself" thing. It is my beleif that if you have a bf before you have this kind of self knowledge and confidence, it can stunt your personal growth. \n\nThis is becuase you are interacting intimately with one person. Their views and prejudices eaily become your own. And instead of taking time for yourself, you have to share it with this other person. To be influenced by many people is better than being influenced by one person. With many peeople you get many more ideas and views and you can sort it out in your head, and realise what it is you really desire, what you like, what you believe in.\n\nI'm not saying that b/c you're with a guy, your not going to be around other people. It just means you are more likey to bend your thinking and your ideas to what the guy finds acceptable, or what are his tastes. \n\nI find that this is not likely to happen if a girl's personal development reaches a particular point. I can't describe exactly what this point is, but it usu results in mature thinking, decision making. Using your own mind rather than relying on others. other people think of you as mature.\n\nAnd as is likely to happen, when (or if) the relationship ends, the girl is thrown in a quandry, of wondering what to do, and questions everything about herself and is depressed for months. But if she has a strong sense of self, this low period does not last very long, and she is able to move on quickly.\n\nAlso, (i think) self assuredness and a strong personality, is something that is attractive to guys (is this true guys?)
348663
I met my husband at our workplace & he is 12 years older than me.  We are quite happy & been married for 6 years.  With this experience, I can say that you need to take it slow, don't load him down with your "emotional baggage" of the past, but be yourself.  Just don't give your entire life story right away.  Let him gradually get to know you.  Being nervous & apprehensive is normal.  Breathe & take it easy.  Things will be okay if you be cool, but not icy cool of course!  Talk about stuff, but also be breezy in your conversations.  If he wants to get to know more about you, he can pursue you gradually in future dates & learn a little bit more about you each time.  Most important (besides being yourself & not pretending to be something or someone your not) is to: Think Before You Speak.  That way you'll bypass your fear of saying something stupid.  Remember that it's okay to have silences between each other.  No one needs to chatter incessantly. Go slow & don't go too far or jump into bed together. Relax & have a great date!
421763
younger or older it doesn't matter it alll depends on the person. You can't let your two bad experiences ruin your whole perspection of younger men. Some are actual okay. I say you talk to that ice piece of eye candy and see how that goes. Remember Stella had to take a chance to get her groove back.
776643
absolutely.  I've had it happen to me on more than one occasion.  they are nervous for one reason or the other.  if he was really into you, then sometimes that's a scary thing for a man, because they want it to be good and therefore get performance anxiety and just can't.  don't worry about it, take it as a compliment.  just gives you something to look forward to the next time.
506590
probably the best advice i can give is throw all caution to the wind and ask him... its expected that your nervous but have the mentality that hes gonna say yes... then he'll have to. and tell yourself your going to get him to go out with you  when your prepping to meet him. the greatest turn on for a man is someone with confidence
1090102
Hey Hun....No you're not alone....I am also young but have never been interested in just getting laid...I've always been more interested in a strong long term relationship...For me...The relationships always start off like they will last forever...and then BAM! all the effort and love I put into those relationships are taken for granted....I'm dealing with this sort of thing now with my boyfriend of almost 1 yr and half...He just up and decided he needed a break...now when we talk it's awkward...and there is no love in his voice...it breaks my heart and I too feel afraid that one day I will wake up and be 40 and have no one....no kids and no life...and end up hating myself for not being able to find a real relationship where both people love equally....it's scary...but alot of people say "you're young and you will find someoen to respect who you are...and WANT to be with you as much as you WANT  to be with them" I know it's hard to believe that there is someone out there for everyone...But as hard as it is...what other idea can we really hold on to? I hope you find someone to share your life with too...GOOD LUCK hun....feel free to e-mail me...if you wanna chat more...or add me to msn....hoffababe@hotmail.com...caio
400057
I find they have problems with committment when a man wants to get to know her more she panics
681208
Whether this is "your fault" for being with another guy, or "his fault" for freaking out, doesn't matter.  Even if it was an accident, and you say sorry and can prove it, still doesn't matter.\n\nStuff like this is a clear signal that one of you (maybe both of you?!) aren't ready for a real relationship.  Take some time off, think about what YOU can do better next time (even if it's just thinking about how to choose a boyfriend that isn't so immature).  Then, after a few months (I would suggest 3-6 months at least!) you might possibly think about another boyfriend.