How do I deal with my husband being deployed in the army at war?
610096
Well i don't think you can if the one you love is in a war..\n\nWhat i would suggest is like they did back years ago is when he was deployed others went with he company.\n\nThere where many wife get with some to help pass the time you all can become a big family.\n\nShopping without the kids :~)\nCook outs with the kids\nSwimming with the kids\nParks with the kids\n\nWish him a happy and safe return!!!!!!!!!
566469
Be supportive and understanding. He's not on a vacation. Patience is key and there will be times you'll want to speak with him and maybe he won't be able to give you the time you desire.Make what time you do have to speak with him quality time and don't expect quantity time then when you get it, it's a pleasant suprise.Try not to worry him over things he can't control while away. Handle as much as possible on your own. Being with someone in the military is different than other relationships. You play a very important role. You hold down the fort while he has to be gone...I wish you both the best...
408256
I was stationed at fort Lewis in Washington. Its a nice place it rains a lot but the summers are awesome. you will like it there go with him. If your love your husband stay with him through thick and thin. plus you have a daughter so I'm sure he wants to be with her and you. My mother in law hates me too don't sweat it live your lives they will come around. If he is a good man stand by him. I wish you luck and congrats on your daughter god bless all three of you.
21314
I'm a military spouse and have to deal with that myself.  Of course, number one, don't fill your hours talking to or spending time alone with someone of the opposite sex.  That will make it too easy to at least have an "emotional" affair, if not slip into a physical one.  But try writing letters and e-mails to your spouse, bettering yourself while he/she is gone (working out, learning to cook, joining a club or group, volunteering, taking a second job, reading, painting, restoring furniture, taking an evening or online class, etc.).  I try to make sure my focus while my husband is away is on what I will do better when he's back - don't lose the focus on the spouse, or that will make it harder! - and on staying busy so I don't have time to just sit and miss him.  Hope this helps.
741179
Sweat heart everybody makes mistakes.\nYour husband is going through some unbelievably tough experiences. Life in Iraq is brutal.\nWrite him every day, keep the letters upbeat but still telling him how much you miss him, and need him around. Tell him about your child, tell him you talk to her about him all the time. Send him care packages, make them a piece of home, send your picture and a camera telling him you can't wait to see him again. When he says the things you wrote about skim over it, it is such an untrue thing to say it deserves little time. Remind him that he is the only one for you and that your family is the most important thing.
1013546
expect the worst, hope for the best! Military is both physically and mentally exhasting. Be supportive and help your guy out when you can, is the best you can do. And be strong, they teach there men to marry a strong women, cuz if your not strong you won't last. Tell him you love him and show it, it will help him get though!
276817
Tell him how proud we are of him. Tell him that we are praying for him and all of our soldiers and to remember always that we will not forget that they are there and that we want them all home as soon as possible. Send him a little quote from the bible that he can meditate on that will him get through what he faces there everyday. Most of all, tell him THANK YOU, AND GOD BLESS AND PROTECT HIM. We are thinking of him and all of our men and women in the military and we are so very proud of them. God bless!
1100000
I think your husband's actions have very little to do with him being a Marine and are more a result of his personality.  He is being very immature for his age and obviously has a lot of trouble communicating effectively.  I would recommend marriage counseling or, if that isn't possible, go see a chaplain.  He needs to learn to communicate and run away from conflict.  If I were you I would approach him when you are both getting along well and talk to him about the situation.  Explain to him that part of a healthy marriage is being able to talk out your differences and that when he leaves the conversation nothing is able to be worked out which only leads to more problems.  Try to keep him from getting defensive (which will mean he will stop listening) and get him to suggest ways that you can talk out your differences.  If he still uses this tactic of running away to the office and locking the door, wait until he comes out on his own and then resume your conversation in a calm rational manner.  Eventually he will learn that he can't run away from his problems.  Hopefully he learns that before it ruins your marriage.
606165
What an honor to be married to a man who wants to continue to serve and protect his Country.  Being able to obtain higher eduction during or after his term of enlistment is one of the least benefits we can offer the protectors of our freedom and Country.\n\nYou say you are newlyweds; and, by your own admission, he didn't re-up in the Army because *you* didn't like it.  So, it leads me to believe that you "knew what the job was when you took it."  Perhaps you need to understand that maybe he feels called to do it; that being a protector of his Country is something he sees as his duty.\n\nYou cannot marry a man and hope to change him.  No one should marry with the hopes of changing the other.  If you fell in love with him while he was military, then a huge part of the person you fell in love with was how he believed in himself as a military man.\n\nSounds to me like he tried ~ for your sake.  And now it's time for you to stop acting like a spoiled, entitled princess who makes all the decisions in the family.  Your husband is an adult and can make his decisions independently of you.  At least he consulted with you and tried his best to put all your fears to rest.\n\nShould you threaten to leave him if he does this, it's quite likely he'd be better off with out you.  You come across as a very stifling person; a dream killer, so to speak.  There are a LOT of women out there who would likely burst with pride to have a husband like that.\n\nStand proudly by his side with your head held high and give him all the support you would expect him to give you in any important decision you were making.  If you can't do that, then give the man a break.  You've probably about worn him out by now with shrewish behaviors.\n\nVery, very sad.
1055336
First off...be there for him.  If he needs someone to talk to, or someone to write letters of support...be there.  \nGo to www.anysoldier.com    you can send care packages to soldiers who don't get mail.  They're relatively cheap, i do it all the time.  \nAlso...don't forget the people left at home.  If you know family of deployed soldiers....spouses, children, mothers, etc...let them know how much u appreciate their loved one, and help them in any way you can.  Whether it's babysitting for a night, or helping with chores at home, it IS a way of supporting your troops.  It makes sure they have a happy household to come home to.  \nGood luck in whatever you do, and from a military spouse, thank you for your support!
1149120
As a marine wife and someone who has been affiliated with the military all her life (Navy brat and former Navy sailor), you have to be outgoing and opinionated!  You can't have him telling you what you think and how to do things.  Not only is that chauvinistic but what happens when he's on a 14 month deployment and  you haven't talked to him in a week, if you don't have opinions on how to take care of your family or home, you're screwed.  You also need to be outgoing to make friends.  Marines are gone alot and we need a support system for those times.  If he's looking for some weak-willed yes-girl, then forget him.
467677
My husband is currently in Iraq on his 2nd tour..He calls when he can I understand he's busy over there..you just have to have faith and be positive..I find myself angry at him when he says he'll call but then does'nt I tell myself "when he calls again he's gonna get it" LOL but when he finally does I'm just so thankful he called and is ok therefor i totally forget about him not calling and I'm not upset with him anymore.Your cousins are fine,I'll be praying for them and for their safe return as I do for all of the service members deployed across the globe especially the ones in Iraq and Afghanistan.Try to stay busy being around family members help...and try not to be glued to the news stations as I find myself doing more then I should...lol..the motto is "No news is good news"\n                                     101st Airborne Division\n                                        Fort Campbell,KY\n                                           "RAKKASANS"
734140
Well, if you want vengence-you can take this incident to his chain of command, but is that really what you want to do?  If you two get divorced-a reduction in rank may not be in your children's best interest...and this would just cause bigger problems later on down the line-think of it this way, he may not have been thinking about his family when he did this-but you could be "the bigger man" and think about your family in resolving this issue.  The first thing I would do is contact the Chaplain Family Life Center at your post/base.  Talk to a counseler there-you need to do this!!  They can also help you with any info you need, pulling the hubby in for some couseling together would not be a bad idea either.  I do not believe in cheating, but you two have children together-even if divorce is the way you need to go-some sort of resolution needs to be made between the two of you for their sake.  I can not even imagine what I would do in your situation-deployments are beyond difficult, but that does not make cheating right!  My heart goes out to you and your family!!  I hope this helps!!
867922
It's only natural for a husband , or wife, to be feeling that way; especially since you two will be apart. It's sad to say, but since I live on a military base, you do see ALOT of that going on and maybe that's also why he feels the way he does. Alot of other soldiers may be putting "so-called" thoughts into his head, also. All you can do is be honest, sincere, faithful, and loving. Hopefully he will have enough faith in you to trust you completely. Being too jealous and suspicious can certainly pull people apart, also.
707189
Try to contact his FRG (family readiness group). They can keep you up-to-date with what is going on with the unit. However, some units have restrictions on who can receive information, and there may be certain things they can't/won't tell you (since you are not married yet). There should be some people who you can make friends with and talk to though. If moving is an option, move near his base so that you can really be near the FRG and also be there when he  gets back. However, you cannot live on the base until you are married, and the military will not pay you an allowance to live off-base, like they would if  you were married. \n\nWhen you think you can't take it anymore, remember why you love him. It sucks when he's gone, but it will be so worth it when he gets home, trust me.
28649
Changing from military life to civilian life is hard enough on a Soldier/Marine, without adding war experience.  His whole way of life has just changed and to top it off, he has experiences that could change the way he thinks of the world, himself, etc.  Give him time - lots of time - and let him know you are there for him to share whatever he wants to share, or, not share, whatever makes him feel the most comfortable.  As strange as it may sound, a lot of times there is a sense of guilt after leaving the military.  His friends are still in Afghanistan, and he's sitting on the couch watching TV.  He had a job, now he's looking for employment.  The list goes on and on...  The stress of it all can take it's toll in many different ways.  You might want to talk to a professional yourself (there are VA services, etc.), to see exactly why the sex part of the relationship is an important validation to you in the marriage (I'm not saying there's anything wrong with that, just a thought), and maybe he'll want to join you in therapy to help clear his head.  Just remember - we really don't know what they've gone through, and he might not be up to talking about it yet.  I wish you both the best - and my thanks to him for serving in the military!
603941
No, it certainly isn't enough to keep a relationship going. You have to have lots of patience and be able to communicate. Communicating certainly is tough right now and that's where the patience comes in. (Patience is also absolutely necessary when it comes to stubborn people as well!) Plus everything going on around us is bringing a lot of confusing feelings into play right now. That's not helping the situation and deployment just complicates matters. You guys are the only ones who will know if you can get through these tough times, but he mostly needs your support right now. He's physically in a world far far away from the life he's used to... and mentally, who knows where?