When one has been damaged buy abuse and rape, What is the most important aspect of that persons life?
605173
this person needs time, commitment, patience and love more than any other person.  these memories and experiences will never go this person can learn to live with them and grow from them.  Sometimes having a friend who has experienced the same things can be helpful (there are some yahoo groups around for survivors).  when one has  had no family support life can be very lonely and sad at times so the need to feel safe and loved is of utmost importance.
640609
Psychotherapy is helpful in the way that it helps you understand that your in a cycle of abuse and to also help you relise that you are a worthwhile person, so don't try to commit suicide because these a***holes have abused you. Remember you cannot help what's happened to you even if you have tried rationalising the circumstances around your abuse. You don't deserve to be abused in any form, sexually, emotionally, verbally or finacially and it's not your fault, please remember that. I have also been through this and made it through to the end of the tunnel. You killing yourself is not the answer, but fighting to be part of this world and have a good life is! Anyone whose ever said, "You probably deserved it" or "You need to forget about it" should be whipped and chained themselves. You'll never forget, but you can get on and have a healthier and better life, and it will take time to heal those wounds and to gain trust back, but it will happen if you give psychotherapy a go, and take anti anxiety meds for a while to help rationalise you. Yes, psychotherapy may bring up some past horrors, but sometimes you need to face them to overcome the fears, and I know how bloody hard that is, but it helped me to face many demons and triumph over them. Now I am remarried to a wonderful and loving man, and I have my three children who I adore. Now I know what life is all about and so will you if you want to start healing. Be kind to yourself and let psychotherapy start healing you.
85270
The most important is to change the focus from others to your own well-being. Remember that YOU are and should be the most important person in your life. There is room for sacrificing your own needs for others, but if you neglect your own well being you will become less able to understand and care for others; it is called enlightened self-interest
827322
May I suggest your local Rape Crisis Center or Battered Women's Shelter in your local area.  What a blessing that would be.  Also, if you have a homeless shelter in your area, buy everyone good hats and gloves.  Jingle blessings!
709786
Oh, please state your source. I'd love to hear the details of a case where parents were convicted (of what, you don't say) for having a deformed baby.\n\nNo one has a right to a "meaningful life." Life is what you make it. The only promises you have is that if someone does something to you (rape, theft, murder, etc.), they may be punished by the law.\n\n.
1098209
what is their to understand about domestic abuse? it should never happen. that is what i understand and that is what anyone with half a brain should understand. this is coming from someone who has been there.
271530
Abuse is not about physical violence.  Control is the factor. There are many diffrent kinds of domestic abuse: physical (hitting, pushing, kicking,throwing things). Emotional abuse (having to know where you are at all times, ignoring you, killing or harming pets, keeping you away from friends and family, this is one of the areas that the porn falls into, etc.) Verbal abuse (calling you names, makings snide comments to you or to others about you, etc.) Financial (won't let you have a job, never lets you have any money, keeps you in the dark about finances, etc.) Sexual (rape, it does happen in marriage, forcing you or convincing you to have sex when you don't want to, forcing sex when you are asleep or drunk, making you look at porn, etc.) Heck, abuse can also be spiritual (he makes you go to church or makes you belong to a church that you don't want to, he won't let you pray, tells you "you are going to hell, if...".\nPlease look at your life. Are you happy? As Dr. Phil says, "I'd rather live on the street in a carboard box and be happy than spend the rest of my life with someone who makes me miserable".\nThe decision to stay with an abusive partner is your decision to make, but keep in mind that your child is seeing this behavior and he is going to think that it is allright, and be the same way when he grows up.\nYou cannot make your husband change.  The only person you can change is you and as I said before the decision is yours. \nIf you need help finding resources in your area e-mail me. c_in_the_hills@yahoo.com.\nYou are under his thumb, and the weight is probably going to crush you some day.
33092
The first step is to separate yourself mentally from this chaotic world, then research an event that ties into the lives of the most prominate people to the lives of other people who were victimized because of who they were. Last and very important, always seek your Father "God" in everything you experience or read or listen to-then you will find out that he has always been within you all along.
470035
Abuse. The sad thing is I probably would have stayed in that relationship a lot longer. But, then it happened! I had my son. The day I had him I knew I would never allow him to be exposed to that kind of a life. I remember thinking to myself, "My husband may be good enough for me but, he will never be good enough for my son because he doesn't care to change." Thankfully, now I know he wasn't good enough for either of us. I left the day that I got out of the hospital and never returned. My son and I lived happily ever after.
50398
They're not just affecting you. These types of things affect everybody. It's how eveyone handles these problems that is different.\n\nThe best first step you can take in beginning to deal with these problems is to refuse to accept a "victim" role. Things happen, and life isn't just looking to pick on you. Empower yourself with the belief that you CAN change things. Remember that it won't be an overnight fix, and it won't be easy. But if you don't step up to the plate on your own behalf, anything can and will defeat you.\n\nI wish you luck and good will.
1070214
As a survivor I think that that not only is PTSD something you can control, I believe that it can be life altering and in a good way.  Through all the usual "stuff" of a survivor (i.e., therapy, sometimes medications, therapy, meditation, therapy....well you get the picture) if you can learn to take what happened to you and all the "fallout" from it and make it work for you it can end up being much more a whole person.  After all the years one spends in pain and turmoil there has to be a payoff and knowing oneself and knowing how to make the best of a very un-best situation can be the flip side of the "blackness".  It is all up to you and, although it is not even close to a picnic, it can make you strong and so very much together.
566286
The bible says: god,spouse,child then whoever.\nPersonally: I choose based on who I would be the most traumatized if something happened to.\n1.child\n2.spouse\n3.parent\n4.sibling/close friend
445143
no offence, but if you center your life around it and contantly view our self as a victim then you will never get over it. you can try to move on or do what every other woman does, start/join a movement or protest and "do something about it"
572162
justice, i suppose. maybe forgiveness but i don't think so as he gets killed in the end....\nlove? the everlasting-ness of love, since she was able to come down from heaven to have sex with her true love after being raped, i don't know how many people would be able to deal with sex after rape....
334110
Sex is a fun, physical expression of what already exists in a relationship. Nowdays sex is blown out of proportion. It has become the main focus in relationships, instead of the bonus that you get with what you already have. \n\nI would say sex is abused in the world today instead of being appreciated as a really amazing experience with someone you want to get close to in heart, body and soul. Sex is important. If you go without sex for a long period of time, you should talk about it and work on your intimacy and communication. There could be underlying issues that need to be sorted out, or it could be something as simple as a change of scenery to spark things up. But it's also normal to have periods in between where you focus on other things. I think there must be a balance.
369207
most often times when a person is sexually or physically abused a fundamental level of psycological development is missed, not fully cycled through or a person simply stops developing at that point.  Leaving them not only emotionally damaged but psychologically damaged as well.  This damage leads to a damaged idea of self as well as not only an often jaded but confused view of the world around you.  For example if a person is abused when they are preteens then developmentally they can remain there and so when they are older their mind identifies with and is attracted to people of a similar developmental stage, hence preteens... and so on... it is amazingly sad how prevalent sexual abuse is.  I once took a self development class of 88 people and out of the whole room only three had not been sexually abused.  One thing that helped me was to sit and think about and look at the even from an outside point of view and see it for what it was, with out emotion and with out blame.  I came to realize that I knew, there were several points when I knew what was happening was wrong and that it was not what I wanted and that I continued putting myself in the situation out of the desire for affection and the relationship that led to my abuse.  I realized that I had such a hunger to be loved that I was willing to put myself in a bad situation in order to get it and that was where the blame came from, I blamed myself becuase I knew and I allowed it to happen anyway.  Once I was able to sit it for what it was for me, then it was different, but I had to learn, to accept and to move on after that.
285768
Do not stay in any relationship that is not healthy. ABUSE WILL ESCALATE, WHETHER IT BE VERBALLY OR PHYSICALLY. You are a worthy person and deserve the up most respect. Talk to a close friend that you trust or your parents. BELIEVE IN YOURSELF, YOU ARE A SPECIAL PERSON!!!