20-year marriage ended - will I survive?
600692
Oh Lotte, you will not survive, you will THRIVE, sistah!!\n\nrelease your husband , release your guilt, get to know yourself again and embrace your future and all it's possibilities!!\n\nit will take time, some days will still be sad, but you'll be happy again before you know it.\n\ni am living the same thing right now, i know it sucks. just keep walking...
552039
i'm sorry to hear that.but your still young.you can marry again.get out there and look.life goes on for the living.more so for your kid.good luck.
532445
I know that it will be hard to start over again after spending six years with a person who you think is a soulmate, and having things backfire on you. Regardless of how old a person is when this happens, it hurts deeply.I don't know if you are religious at all, but I believe that the Lord will make all things turn out ok, regardless of how dark you view your  situation to be. I live in New Orleans, and during Hurricane Katrina, when I evacuated to a shelter, I see people on the verge of cracking up, because they have no faith, nothing to fall back on. As concerned as I was about what lies ahead, because of my faith in God, I was at peace with the situation and can continue to function normally.There is light at the end of the tunnel for you, if you would just be patient and have a little faith. Time heals all wounds.You will be able to love again, and you will find that special someone who can make you life complete. My prayers and best wishes are with you.
420587
The only good point I can think of is that by the time you're 30 any children will be well on the way to being raised.  \n\nI married at age 17 and had 2 sisters who married at 14, 1 married at 15 and 1 married at 16. I divorced after 19 years of marriage and have not remarried.  All of my younger sisters have been married 3-4 times and none of their original marriages lasted more than 6 years.  One was actually trying to get a divorce after only being married 1 month!  She had only know him a few months and it turned out that he was an abuser. The older you are, the more mature and able to handle the frustrations of married life you will be.
77997
I think you should, but when you feel you are emotionally ready. A very good friend of mine was in a motorcycle accident with his wife in which his wife died.  That was two years ago last Nov.  He wants to move on with his life while his kids don't want him to remarry because they're not ready.  Not everybody will be ready at the same time.  So far, my friend is still a widower and single.  I can see him getting married again and hope he does.  I'm sorry for your loss and I hope you recover from it.\n\nGod designed marriage as a companionship and when you don't have that anymore, you will miss it and want to have it again.  It's only natural in that sense.  Pray for wisdom and God will give it.
1091364
I was divorced & remarried after 3 years. \nI have now been remarried for 26 happy years. \nA marriage has to be worked at. \nThere are always going to be bad times but the trick is to work through them together & to support each other.
115769
When did your feelings change?\n\nWhat happened outside of your marriage at that time?\n\nYou may simply be looking for an excuse to leave him.  Your likely some where around 30 and that is a tough time in a marriage or out.\n\nKeep in mind that marriages take a great deal of work and nearly all of them have challenging periods.  That’s when you knuckle down and find a way through the tough times.  Your feelings changed once and they can change again.  Just imagine yourself ten years down the road after you have left him, simply because you didn’t try to work through a tough patch.  \n\nIt sounds as if everything else is okay and since you’re the one disturbed, maybe it is you.  If it is you, you might consider that your feelings toward him are relative to your feelings toward someone else.  \n\nMy wife and I have been together 51 years and married 46 years.  It has taken lots of work through tough times, but somehow it has maintained.
219686
I lived with mine for 13 years before marriage. Been happily married since. :o)
1038393
married at 20-25 and first child 20-22
839515
When you say this was an "arranged marriage", I assume you are from a different culture.  I find it interesting that so many reported domestic violence cases in the USA seem to involve families that have come from other cultures/countries.  \n\nI'm not making any judgements about this; it's just an observation.  And I'm not implying that there isn't plenty of domestic violence in homes of American born families, there certainly is.\n\nBut I seriously question your belief that "there is supposed to be only one person in your life to whom u give everything...".  Look around you and you will see countless examples of people finding their second choice for romance/relationships much more fulfilling, loving and supportive than their first!  \n\nIt's because we all grow as human beings.  We aren't the people we were five or ten years ago....thank goodness!  And as we grow, we find out more about ourselves, people in general,  and our choices, and hopefully we become wiser.  So the person we might choose to be with at 20 years old isn't necessarily the person we'd choose at 30 or 35.  And this isn't only because we change, but because we become better judges of other peoples' character.\n\nAnd to think that because you found yourself with a violent, emotionally immature man the first time in a marriage, you can never have anything better is appalling!  You deserve better than that, and so does your child.  \n\nBut the feelings you are describing don't sound like depression to me.  They sound like the symptoms of grieving....greiving for a love lost, grieving for the family you thought you were creating, and grieving for your innocence that was so cruelly torn from you.  It will take time to heal these wounds, as it takes time to heal from all deep loss.  But you can heal, and you can move on, and you can find more in life to enjoy, celebrate and in which to find hope and contentment.\n\nI wish you all good things.
39317
HOPEFULLY I WILL. WHILE MY 1ST MARRAIGE WAS A DISMAL FAILURE (MOSTLY BECAUSE OF MYSELF), I MISS THE BOND AND THE FEELINGS INVOLVED IN A COMMITTED RELATIONSHIP. HOPEFULLY, I HAVE LEARNED SOME LESSONS THAT I SHOULD HAVE LEARNED LONG AGO.
1091143
No, if you are lucky, you will be married for 50 years. If you are not, you will be on your first of several divorces. Take some time and think about it.
821759
If you're under the age of 30 and your spouse in under the age of 30, you have less than 50% chance of surviving more than 1 year.  That's pretty staggering, wish I had a source for this... but it's something I read a number of years ago... I'm sure the rates of success have fallen with what the world has become...
319485
Let's see...you married a man who had failed at 5 marriages before you, right? And I assume it was always the woman's fault that the marriage went south, right? I suggest that you have learned, hopefully, a very expensive lesson...people do not change, regardless of how much you want them to. I am sorry, but where were you when all this money was disappearing? Where were you when he was living high on your expense account. Your were "smitten??" I think the proper word for it is, "you lost your mind." NOw, pay your bills and go one with life. Not much else you can do. But I would hope that your are much wiser in the "from now on" than you have been in the "way back then."
277594
got married when I was 18, had my first child at 20, got divorced at 21, got engaged at 22, had my second child at 23
1127450
Wow, 20 years! Counseling is definitely the first line of defense! If you are willing to try one last thing before ending the relationship, please try counseling with a licensed counselor. It seems like the easy way out now but believe me, the hurt and destruction divorce causes makes losers of everyone involved.
458014
I managed to keep a ralationship alive between Australia and uk via email, letters and phone calls, (\nOver the space of 3 months i spent the equivalent of $2000 US dollars on phone calls) .....I won't lie, it is Bl**dy hard work, bot worth it. I've now been very very happily married to that person for 2 years.\n\nYou have to be honest and open in any conversation, and you have to tell each other EVERYTHING!!!!! ( and I mean everything, bad things too!)\n\nIf it's right you'll know within weeks of being apart. If he's worth fighting and suffering for, give it everything.  \n\nI guess if you are just leaving school you are still in your teens, i'm in my mid 30's, there's a huge world out there to discover, live for now, enjoy yourself and follow your heart!\n\nGood Luck