My husband divorced me, but I still love him. Can you give me advice?
604277
Well you're supposed to love a man, but if he's not attached to you, then you must accept this as reality.  You must accept that he's not there and that emotionally functioning under the assumption that he is still there is madness.  Your psychological grip on him may be why he left you.  Men need to feel like they can function.\n\nNow what can you do?  Explore this.  Explore all the things you can do right now.  Do them.  Do them without him.  Just keep practicing doing things, like the adult you are, without an attachment.  It will get easier as you begin to trust yourself again.  And you shouldn't become attached again until you can be sure that it is wanted.  Don't worry about these things.  Just be a person, by yourself.  Have friends.  Have fun.  Work hard. Go for walks and vacations.  Experience life, the sun, and everything around you.  So many things can be done alone.  I should know.  I've always been.
442042
Just because he's your ex doesn't give any reason for you to not be hurt or be concerned. Have you tried talking or consoling him yet? Maybe all differences should be set aside for a moment and you try to help. I mean you were married so at some point you guys loved each other. Im sure there were times when he was there for you and you him , maybe you know him well enough that you can help him deal now, u kno? Good Luck
376044
I hope that you are very careful with what you are doing with this guy.  Remember that you are married and you may lack a certain thing in your marriage which will be better work out with your husband.  I understand that it is kind of nice to have someone interested in your despite you are married but why are you dragging him on?  Will you be happy to divorce your husband because this guy sweet talk to you?  Are you sure that you will have a better future with this man than your current husband.  I suggest that you spend more time with your husband and rediscover him then talking to this guy, unless you have no hope in your marriage!  Good Luck!
281092
Oh Sweetpea, You should find some help near you, some social help and start the divorcing process, till it's not too late. Your husband thinks that you do not understand much, do not see anything, can't do anything...I think you see and understand everything, you just need help and support from someone who has power to do so. Do not worry about justice in heaven, worry about the present time and your children. God will help you if you want to be helped.
456068
You said that *you* want to work things out with your husband and that *you* realized that you still love him and he still loves you. What about the husband? Does he feel the same? That isn't clear.\n\nWhether or not you like breaking up with people, if you are going to date, it's something you must be prepared to do. Naturally things with the boyfriend went great, and of course he's in love with you - you're both on the rebound. That makes you more sensitive and considerate in a relationship. You don't have years of history with him yet, with the little unintentional hurts that can poison a wonderful relationship. \n\nIt's imperative that you break up with the boyfriend immediately if you don't plan to see it through with him. Children are involved. Be honest. You've only been with him 4-5 months, and it sounds like it started immediately after your husband left. Simply explain that while you like him, and things have been great, you started your relationship too soon, while you were still reeling from your husband leaving. Tell him that the time that has gone by made you realize you want to give it another chance with the husband. Be gentle but firm. If it helps, write out exactly what you want to say in a letter, and keep it handy. Then keep it in your pocket. When you tell him, if it becomes too... emotional... give him the letter and excuse yourself.
459590
My dear.. The first thing to do is talk to him about how you feel when you are both relaxed and the problem is behind. Don't confront him immediately after what happened. You have to also assess how much you love him and how much he loves you. If you think the love is still there, then give it a chance and talk about what you like and what he likes and come to a compromize. However, if you feel that the love part is missing, then don't waste both of your times and put an end, it will only increase your agony. Unless, there are kids involved, this means a whole new strategy that you should consider them. If no kids, and no love, then separation is the best.
1070570
Be miserable, like I am. It wouldn't be so bad if the man I married loved and respected me. I guess that doesn't help you, but these things happen. Do what you need to do to make things right, if you can.
487967
You got divorced for a reason.  Remember that reason, and move on.
563234
Yes, you are right! If he loves you as much as he says he does then he must sort out his own problems with his wife. If they decide a divorce is the best way then that's on them. Question is do you really love him? If you both are just friends (nothing sexual) then that's okay. It may seem or feel questionable but as long as you both are friends it's okay. If you do really and truly love him my dear I would tell him how you feel. If he feels the same way about you then he must divorce her before he moves on with you. Sounds as if you are stuck in the middle here. That's no fun! Regardless, as friends, stand behind him in whatever he chooses to do. Good Luck!
871129
why did you get divorced in the first palce? I think you know the anser in your heart of what you want to do, especially if you had to ask online. She does not sound worth it, let her go and find someone that will make you very happy
164260
If your marriage is mostly stable, consider the outcomes that are possible. What if the person you divorce your husband for doesn't return your feelings? If you know you'd be happier divorced, with or without this other man, then you should take the divorce. Otherwise, I'd try marriage counseling, because it doesn't sound like you're very happy with your marriage right now.
1106383
You showed him that you are not totally over husband and not strong enough (or smart enough) to leave him and go on living a normal happy life.  Divorce him. Talk to W and tell him that you defiantly do not want anything to do with H and see what happens. Just be real with W. If he still strays then wait for the next Ideal man to come along. There are plenty out there sister. Been there 2. Walk away and never turn back to your H, it's not worth your life. Hope all goes well and take care.
232063
I agree...you have been brave...however...most men do not do well with ultimatums so you might lose him.  HOWEVER if it's really meant to be, he will come back after a while, once he realizes how much life sucks without you.  If he doesnt, sit back and be happy that you're not wasting anymore time on someone who's not willing to be with you the way you need and want.  \nI live by this:  \n\nIf you love something, set it free\nIf it comes back to you...it's yours\nIf not, it never was.\n\nI am currently in a very very similar situation...so I truly do understand what you feel like.  e-mail me if you wanna chat melissakct@yahoo.com\n\nAs for some of the mean rude answers you recieved...ignore them.  Men do not only cheat for no-strings attached sex, perhaps he simply made a mistake when he got married and now realizes it.  It's only natural for him to see what else is out there before getting a divorce as divorce is a painful expensive process.  Perhaps assisting him in his affair is not the most moral thing we could do...but I don't think you did anything wrong.  And just b/c he cheated on her...does not mean he will cheat on you.  It all depends on his state of mind when entering the affair.  If he truly stopped loving his wife (very very possible) and already emotionally left the marriage...chances are he will not cheat again.  Only you know the answer to that. \n\nHope to hear from you.
106635
of course first of all you must talk to your husband. tell him all that you know about his computer "games" and tell him how he makes you feel and how he has been treating you. give him time to talk. be open honest and blunt. if you are blunt to him he will be to you. don't spare andy feelings this is your life if things don't work out with your husband then take it from there but don't betray him even if things turn for the worse (divorce) my advise is spend less time with the friend ( i know it will be hard) and more time with the family. Try to salvage your mariage before you indulge your short term desires. Be patient and have will power. GOOD LUCK AND GOD BLESS
900467
I'm divorced, with 2 kids of my own, that live with me, and I'll tell ya, until HE is right with himself, there is NOTHING you can do.  He has to figure out what the deal is himself.  And you may need to find an alternative.
1183566
Clean and clear. Cease all further contact with him and move on. If he still loves you he would be with you. To say it's because of the kids etc is a cop out. It seems like he doesn't know what to do and you don't need the confusion in your life. Learn from your mistakes and take your time with your next relationship. Good luck.
641183
You know i have been through this situation myself.  I'm not proud.  We just kind of drifted apart after the same amount of time as you, but were only separated for about 2 months.  I really liked the feeling of freedom and meeting other people.  I still think of a certain someone now and then, especially when my husband and i get into arguments about petty stuff.  I think "why did i even come back"?  Then i realize that he has put up with all my crap and it would be so hard to start all over and put effort into a new relationship.  I also think about my kids and in today's society kids need the guidance of both parents.  Anyway, i really do love my husband, it's just sometimes its fun to think of what could have been.  \nI'm not saying all marriages are to stay together for the sake of the children, it's just if you really love each other, you need to try and get passed the other man.\n\nTry to do things with your husband, take time for yourselves.  Go to the movies out to eat, or even spend time at the park with the kids(if it applies).  And just when you feel an argument coming on think and sometimes prayer comes in handy(if you are religious). \n\nGood luck. i wish you the best.