MY neices husband is in the Army he left her for a station after boot camp she says he told her she has to?
601902
good way to get rid of her for another year.
526606
Hello\n\nWhy did she feel she needed to leave home? Why does she feel the need to be seperated? There has to be alot more to this than what you are saying here.... You have to have had more then one argument and misuderstanding in the marriage to have brought it to this point.... Is she willing to go to counseling with you and try to work on this marriage? You can email me at ladyhewitt_1@yahoo.com and talk with me more if you would like.... I will be praying for you and your situation and i hope that things will work out for the best.... I do feel that you both need marriage counseling and are there children involved?
445213
My husband was deployed for 14 months so I know what you are going through. Thank goodness my husband is home now and I wish your husband a safe and quick return also. You can e-mail me at thetravelingmartins@yahoo.com. I will be more than happy to talk with you. I few suggestions to make the time pass are send your husband a care package every week or every other week. Take a calendar and put an X through each day that has passed by. Use the time to discover more about yourself. E-mail me and I will give you some ideas of what you can send him to show that you care for him. Trust me, your husband will appreciate this. Many of my husband's friends came home from Iraq and discovered that their wives had left them and taken all of their money. Anyways, I hope this helps.\n\nNote- to the person who wrote about the FRG. Not every FRG is a good group. Mine was nothing but a gossip and husband bashing group.
828474
I am a military wife, and I can honestly say take all the time together as you possibly can with your husband. The life style isn't that bad, sometimes they are gone to the field, range, and schools, but then you have the deployment, which everyone goes through I swear. The moving isn't too bad, the military moves you for free, and you can get on post housing and just loose the BAH ( your housing allowance) and just have to worry about phone, cable, internet, and bills like that. \nTo me the cons are: them being gone for the field, range, possible deployment, and whatever else the army wants the soldier to do. \nTo me the pros are: steady job, you get to go to new places, see the world, steady paycheck, free insurance, and to be able to walk with the pride of being an army wife. I have been to 2 duty stations in 5 years, Ft. Stewart and now I get to live in Hawaii for 4 years. \nIf you need to talk to anyone you can IM me, my yahoo is always one
707189
Try to contact his FRG (family readiness group). They can keep you up-to-date with what is going on with the unit. However, some units have restrictions on who can receive information, and there may be certain things they can't/won't tell you (since you are not married yet). There should be some people who you can make friends with and talk to though. If moving is an option, move near his base so that you can really be near the FRG and also be there when he  gets back. However, you cannot live on the base until you are married, and the military will not pay you an allowance to live off-base, like they would if  you were married. \n\nWhen you think you can't take it anymore, remember why you love him. It sucks when he's gone, but it will be so worth it when he gets home, trust me.
343982
being a military wife is not the easiet thing in the world. I definitely give you props! But its alot like any other job hes going to have to be the one to step up and take a stand for himself. there really is nothing that you can do at this point in time. Sit down and have a talk with him and express your feelings to him. Its his job to take care of this himself theres nothing you can do. If hes not willing to do something about it then thats his problem. Dont let his job affect you marriage
876824
you are so wrong. why should he have to leave his wife behind. do you want him for your self. just leave them alone. your sick.
1069546
Depends.  Boot Camp , absolutely not.   as for A or C schools, generally speaking if a school is longer than six months, the Navy will pay to move your spouse and children to your duty station and you would get BAH for that location(or base housing)\n\nThat being said.. once you have arrived at A or C school.. there is absolutely NOTHING standing in the way of her moving on her own dime to be near you.  Just remember that each school has its own policies regarding living arrangements(some schools do not allow the students tolive anywhere but int he barracks, regardless of marital status or location of family members, for instance) and priviledges such as being allowed off base overnight or weekends.  \n\nIt is generally advisable to get to your first permanent duty station before bringing your family along.  Unless it is a remote or Unacompanied Tour, the Navy will pay for it.  And if it is, then they couldn't come anyway, even on their own dime.  Trust me she wouldn't want to live in Diego Garcia anyway.... Schools should be a time for concentrating on studies and is NOT a proper reflection of TRUE Navy Life.  Life in the Fleet is Vastly different.
408256
I was stationed at fort Lewis in Washington. Its a nice place it rains a lot but the summers are awesome. you will like it there go with him. If your love your husband stay with him through thick and thin. plus you have a daughter so I'm sure he wants to be with her and you. My mother in law hates me too don't sweat it live your lives they will come around. If he is a good man stand by him. I wish you luck and congrats on your daughter god bless all three of you.
939762
Sounds like a normal day in our house. There are two sides to every story and this is only your side so hard not to be judgemental on your husband. If he is doing all those things then believe it or not it may possinly be because he is afraid of losing his family and that includes you but too much of a macho man to sit down with you and tell you his true feelings. I would really urge him to try marriage guidance and if he won't go on the camp how about a civilian one where none of his mates will know about it?
300569
First let me tell you that I'm sorry.  I know that right now you're heart is broken and you probably feel like you can't breathe.  You're hurt, angry and embarrassed. Nothing is going to make that better but time.\n\nBut as a wife, and an Army wife at that - let me say, congratulations.  I know it's impossible to see right now but she probably did you a favor.  You sound like a great guy.  Very caring and open with your feelings. You have a job that takes courage, and you have honor.  You deserve better than that.\n\nYou need a wife that will honor you, and love you no matter what. In your job you're gone a lot, to places that require you to be focused on your mission.... not just to perform well but to stay alive.  \n\nCan you imagine if you had married, then you deployed and she changed her mind then?  It takes someone really amazing to be an Army wife.  It's a tough job.  It takes a lot of committment, and stamina.  She has the ability to advance your career beyond what you can imagine right now.  And it doesn't sound like this girl new what she had in you... or what to do with it.\n\nGo out with they guys.  Spend some time with Good friends.  If you can - grab a buddy and go on a road trip.  Try and get away so everyone isn't asking about it.  Then make up a really great story about how you walked in and caught her filming a porno with a three legged midget and giraffe and kicked her to the curb to tell the guys when you get back to post.\n\nI know it doesn't seem like it..... but she may have just saved your life.  \n\nIt took me 26 years to find a guy like you, and there's nothing I wouldn't do for him.  After six years of marriage we are more in love than any couple we know.  And happier than we ever thought we would be.  You deserve that too. But we bothhad the kind of heartbreak you're having now along the way.\n\nHold on, brighter and less painful days are coming.... I promise.
809282
you can't.  besides, that status changes daily, and just because you get sent to a base that isn't due up doesn't mean he won;t get sent IA.\n\nand do NOT go to Ft Drum.  Just as cold as Alaska.  and less pretty in the summer.  \n\nIf you are on EFMP<keep inmind that it only limits places YOU can go, if the need arises, they can and will give your spouse Unacompanied orders.    your condition also will NOT get him out fo a deployment.  trust me.  Mine has deployed several times, and I also have a chronic condition that prevents me from driving.
1121078
My hubby was deployed for a year and I know how hard it is.  What got me through it was getting a full time job that allowed me to take his phone calls during work hours, and sending alot of email and packages.  Just keep in mind that he will come home safely and make sure you have a good support group at home for you.  If you stay strong and supportive it will help him more than you will ever know.  Even though you aren't married you can also call the FRG (Family Readiness Group) that will be set up.  Also if at all possible try and go to see him off.  It'll be good for you to meet some of the women in the FRG and you might get to know a few you really connect with.  If you want to talk or have any questions feel free to email me and I will try to help.\nAlso, from being a military spouse for 4 years, don't worry about the deployment thing until he actually has the orders.  In the military, alot of rumors are spread around (my husband was originally suppose to go a year before he was actually deployed) so don't worry until he has the orders.  Hope this helps.
809102
Wow. I'm not sure that anyone will really have an answer to all of that, but one thing to try for sure is going through the courts to find a good councellor for her. If that doesn't work, you could always consider a boot camp. My brother attended one after going through alot and putting my family through hell and back. He's a changed person because of it. If it comes down to her using your husband in one of her "plots", I would seek help from a paid professional. If she is lying to hurt you, there has to be something going on in her head that makes her think that it's ok to do. I hope this helps in any way.
817125
you need to calm youself first, and maybe even take notes on what exactly you want to say and then talk to him yourself.  you absolutely do not have to take him back - he lied to you and cheated on you.  trust is what relationships are built upon and he just did the two worst things to break that trust.  \n\nhe cannot just leave the navy either - he has a contract with them and they can put him in military jail if he goes AWOL (absent without leave).  he has to finish out his contract before he can leave, so that should give him time to straighten himself out.\n\nyou do not need to cowtow to his sister.  she is concerned for her brother, and that is very nice of her - but it is not your responsibility to keep him in the navy.  he took all responsibility for his welfare away from you when he cheated on you.  now it is up to you whether or not to forgive (you will never forget).\n\nmy neighbor has been married for 13 years and her husband cheated on her when they were first married.  they do have a loving relationship, and as much as she protests that she trusts him - by the things she says i know she does not... at least 12 years later.\ni could never live that way - i told my husband (who joined the navy after we had been together for about 3 years and is now in the army) when we first started dating that there were 2 things he could do and no matter what i would leave him - cheat on me or raise his hand to me.  \nyou need to do what is best for you - he is an adult, he can do what is best for himself.\n\nwow, after reading some of the other responses - please do not think that all men are like this, and do not think that all men in the military cheat on their wives - this is not true.  it is also not an accepted behavior in the military anymore - it may have been years ago, but no longer.  \ndo not let him turn you bitter - you are too young to live your life bitter and angry at all men because of 1 man.
191963
As a military wife, I learned very quickly that, frankly, the US Military doesn't care about me.  It's kind of a running joke between most of the wives and their husbands.\nUnfortunately, for your friend, it's no laughing matter.  The military is not going to help her at all if she is divorced.  \nShe needs to get a lawyer who is well versed in custody agreements AND military issues.  As far as I know, if the military says you're going somewhere, that's where you're going.  I don't know if a court agreement of joint custody changes that at all...I doubt it.\n\nI wish you and your friend luck!
446993
If he is regular army (RA) you can expect him to be deployed quite a bit in the next few years as the operations tempo is probably going to be pretty high. So, at least for the time being, get used to him being away. \n\nAlso, if he wants to make this a career, get used to moving around a bit. You will have the opportunity to live in different areas of the country as well as different countries, not always of you and your husband's choosing. It's a difficult lifestyle, one that many civilians don't and really can't understand. But take comfort in the fact that other military wives (and husbands if the female is a soldier and the husband is a civilian) are in the exact same boat as you, friends are easy to make.