How to deal with  mother who only cares about her religion and helping other people than her own family?
597067
From my experience, devoutly religious women rarely pay heed to the advice of their family.  For some reason they value the opinions and needs of "friends" more than family.  \n\nI don't get it myself.
455307
parents back then were that type of persons with their families, and they just were raised themselves that way and is not your mother's fault, but her, mother, and then her mother of her mother...and so on....nonetheless, you can make the change with your family and with you followed generations to come.....in your case, I can see that you have these hateful feelings about your mom, and brothers....Remember that things happens for one reason, you don't know why it happened the way it happened, but thank God, you are ok, even though you feel these feelings.....Try to forget if you can, try to do well to others and always, talk to others, the way you were treated like that others wont do what your mom did to you, and let this experience be of good use to others and forget all bad feelings and live a healthy life you and your family, God bless you and if you could Get a bible study..Good luck.
204395
I am sorry, but you are not clear on several things:\n1. What brought up the fight about your mom needing to go to a nursing home? \n2. Where do you live? Are you living in your mom's home or do you have a place of your own?\n3. What are your mom's health/mental conditions? \n4. If you are doing the work, why would your siblings care where she lived? Does she need a safer environment?\n\n    I think you need to find someone who would be willing to arbitrate this problem without bias. You may check with a local church to see if the pastor/priest/etc. would be willing to help arbitrate it. I think you need the honest opinion of someone who does not know any of you to come to a solution.
833208
If the person insists on attempting to "convert" you -- which constitutes religious harassment -- you can approach human resources, or, in some states and countries, take legal action.  If she is just there -- *shrug*  its her problem, not yours.  \n\nRegards,\n\nReynolds Jones\nhttp://www.rebuff.org\nbelieveinyou24@yahoo.com
34350
Allow them to finish their prayer, bow your head and give thanks in whatever way you see fit to whom ever you see fit.  \n\nRespect their freedom of religion and they'll respect yours.  \n\nGive God a try!  Jesus loves you and so do I!\n\nDo I sound like a Bible beater??? ;-)
906973
I'm not Muslim..  But your husband has turned her down...in the past.  So he does not like, want or love her.  Her feelings are one sided.  yes she is jealous you have the man she wanted but didn't want her.  I agree with others she is no friend of yours.  If at all possible I would exclude her from your house and set her away for the lack of respect she has shown you and your family.  If you have to be near her than I would ignore her be polite but stay away from her...tell you husband about what she does that you know it's childish and petty but it's hurtful and maybe he can talk to her brother about it.  But I agree never leave her around him alone she is spiteful and is likely to start another rumor that won't be pleasant for anybody.
897033
Chances are good that you succeed.i know that this is kinda challenging.But if she truely love you and care about you she would be determined to break the barrier of religion.its upto her to decide whether to hurt you or her family.she will make her choices.all what i suggest you is to stand by her always.just be there for her.I suggest you to respect and support her decision.if she wishes to not hurt her family by marrying you then please support her.or if she chooses to marry you and leave her family behind you are obliged to reconnect her with her family.Good luck to the two you.hope you succeed.
425564
Sometimes with families you have the 'sponge' one that always relies on others to support them etc.  I didn't say that to be mean just pointing out an observation. I think your mother is looking out for you, she doesn't want you to have to give up what you have worked hard for to support somebodies elses decision she may consider wrong.  I don't know the history of your family, is this your aunts 5 baby or first?  Does she act responsible and is just caught in a bad situation at the time?  IF you give your aunt everything where are you going to be-what if tomorrow you find out you have a family after you have given your money away?  IS THE MONEY GOING TO HELP THE SITUATION OR PROLONG A PROBLEM???  if you give money how is it going to affect your relationship with your mother?\n\nBest of luck in your decision
965075
Assamalu Alaykum Sister.\n\nI am also a convert to Islam, and my family is Christian. The family of my significant other is also Christian, and all of them do "celebrate" the "holidays." However, I do not think it is wrong to visit with your family during these holidays, or to accept gifts from them or to give gifts to them-- unless it is explicitly stated that this is a form of worship of Jesus. If your family is similar to mine, then the is probably no mention of Jesus at all when exchanging gifts.\n\nOur family are our most important links in this world, and if the holidays are an exceptional opportunity for you to spend time with them, then it cannot be wrong. When the Qur'an was first revealed, it was important for the believers to stay together, because there were not so many of them, and they had many enemies who wished them dead. Times have changed now, and I believe that Allah wishes us to honor our parents and family no matter what religion they choose. Family is the foundation of society, and we should not let our religious beliefs rip our foundations apart because of stubbornness.\n\nWhen it comes down to it, Sister, you must choose what makes you feel most comfortable. Allah does not wish hardship on us, so do not make more hardship for you than is necessary.  If you will feel pain because you are afraid of committing shirk, then do not spend Christmas with your family (please note the difference between the word "celebrate" and "spend"). However, if you are certain you can spend Christmas with your family without shirk becoming an issue, then do not give up your family because you think it will be more righteous.\n\nThis decision is entirely yours. You can seek guidance from anyone.. converts, Imams, friends, but ultimately, your decision will only be between you and Allah. Inshallah, you will do what is right for you.\n\nAnd Allah knows best.
222544
You cannot control anyone else's reaction but your own.  The most you can do is explain to your parents how much this person means to you and to at least get to know him before making any judgments.  If they aren't willing to do so, then too bad too sad!  You won't always make decisions in love or life that would be pleasing to your parents or anyone else for that matter, but at the end of the day, you have to make yourself happy.  Your parents opinions are just that, opinions, the most you can do is respect the way they feel, right or wrong, that is the way they feel and there isn't a whole lot you can do or say to change there minds.  Maybe in time they would see how happy you are and come around, but for now, if this is the person you are happy with, don't let anyone spoil it, not even your parents.  Having a different religion or a different ethnicity isn't a character flaw, and there are alot more things to worry about in this world.  Go for it!
614115
I am in the same boat as you Taramar.  i do not get along with my mother very well, and I had a very rough and lonely upbringing.  To this day we rarely talk and do not get along at all.  \n   Even though all this, I still get her gifts for days like Mother's Day and other special days because she is my mom, and despite all the bad feelings I have for her, a part of me loves her.\n   She is not really a bad person, she was just a bad mother, and had issues that she never bothered to deal with.  I understand not being able to forgive, because i feel very much the same way.  Be the bigger person, and get her something.  Spend a few minutes with her if you can, and show her that you are not like her.  \n   Maybe, one day things will change, I know it seems unlikely as I feel that way too, but you never know.\nPeace and Love
621789
if ur family supports  u and have the same faith as u do.  u wud not need to hate them and visie versa...and leave them for GOD...the whole family will be praising the same GOD... but if its the opposite... i mean diversed faith inside the haus... better leave them and follow ur GOD... they cant save u, only God can
433360
oh this is so sad, and for me, because I have the opposite problem, my mother really has little to do with me.  I can feel the pain in your words.\nI think the best you can do is keep the door open, never close it to her altogether.  Let her know you are there, don't ask for anything in return however much it hurts.  Send her a little gift on her birthday, or when you hear the baby is born, and however angry or hurt you might feel, try hard to keep a lid on it, just try to find joy in other things,  I don't know if you have other children, but if not, maybe do things together, reinforce your relationships with other people, that will help you know you are worthy of love even if not from your daughter right now.\nAnd who knows?  If she is pregnant then the birth of her baby might make her realise what being a mother is, and that sometimes we get it wrong, and maybe she will soften?\n\nI hope it works out for you, please don't give up
766681
I see what you mean.  The bible says not to judge people.  There is no problem with talking to people who are differant or have differant ideas.  Just make sure you are strong in your faith, and it could be an opportunity to witness to her.  Just realize Wicca is the wrong way, and far from where God wants us to be.  Maybe try and help her see where she has gone wrong.
817414
u can do ur best 2 help them thru their issues. if it is related 2 religion, our association wid God is only supposed 2 fill us with empowerin understandin so somethin is up there an that needs 2 be sorted out (feel free 2 mail me 4 help if th@ is the issue)\n\nwhatever the issue is u can do ur best 2 help out, and if u try 2 help out, do so wid faith.\n\nif they decide they cannot help themselves and it is gettin u down, the healthiest thing 2 do is 2 leave them, @ least 4 a while.\n\nthroughout any of the choices u make in helpin them, u must keep as positive as possible and always have the INTENTION to help, not just actions. in this way, ur intention throughout was 2 help, and u would hav done so 2 the best of ur ability.
669100
I am sorry about your cousin, and I am sorry that you got some really insensitive (and immature) answers. Honey, the very best thing you can do to draw close to God is to talk to Him. I have 35ish years experience, so I know what I'm talking about. Its not always just roses in anyones life, but knowing God, and letting Him walk you through the tough times, helps you to see and smell the roses, when all you can feel are the thorns. Talk to Him just like you would talk to anyone else. There  are always going to be back stabbers and such, and there will be people who may call you nuts. That is because they don't have that relationship, so they cannot know what they are talking about. Don't listen to them, keep seeking Him. Matt 5:6 "Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled." NIV \nThe person above is right about getting yourself a Christian friend to help you. I don't mean someone who will be a gossip, I mean someone who truly cares about you and your relationship with God. Even if you can't join the youth group, God is with you anywhere. And your relationship with Him doesn't depend on location.\nAbout your mom, I used to have a really bad relationship with my mom until one day someone told me a lot of stuff she'd been through. It helped me to understand why she was the way she was, and to let go of my hurts. Maybe you could talk to her?? And listen to her?)\nAbout your brother. No one has the right to hurt you. He needs to know that you are going to your parents, and if they can't stop it the authorities will. I'm sure your pastor can help. The "and stuff" part bothers me. Don't let him continue. YOU have rights as a Human being.\nMay the peace of God which passes all understanding, anoint you and keep you everyday. (Not a quote, but the real verse is Phil 4:7, another verse for you Psalm 37:4 and that one is true. Not at first, but in these later years, I can think of something I want, and a lot of the time God just kind of puts it where I can find it.) No one can convince me that He's not REAL and the GREATEST -- I know Him. See you in heaven someday.
923437
Well, I completely understand where you're coming from. You want to be loved and welcomed, but unfortunately, not all in-laws work out that way (no matter what the race, religion, etc.). My grandmother's mom HATED my grandfather for years, and he wound up eloping to marry her.  They are both the same exact religion and ethnicity too. Eventually, the mother grew to appreciate and respect my grandfather and my grandparents have been married for almost 60 years. \n\nThing is, you shouldn't have to deal with going someplace where you are "tolerated", but again you don't always have control over that. All that you can do, is just suck it up for your wife, kids, and be the better man. Eventually, I would say talk to your wife about having your OWN holidays though and if her parents want to visit YOU then that's fine, this way they are on "your turf" now so to speak and if they disrespect you, you can ask them to kindly leave your home.