is it OK to tell my fiancee I'm a schizophrenic,and not right in the head sometimes?
601759
IF he knows You, he should know your not always right in the head..but if it would make you feel better...it's best to tell him...come to think of it, you should tell him..he has a right to know..if he doesn't already...
190643
could also be schizophrenia
910454
Your problem is an example of one of those problems that one puts up with for too long, because it seems like a smaller problem than it really is, and because to a normal person, your requests for change seem so reasonable (and they are).  I've been a clinical social worker for about 8 years, and I've seen this problem.  But I'll tell you up front that there is no real "cure" for the situation you're in.  \n\nIt's a big deal if you can't trust your mate.  It's stressful.  You have to think and plan and act for two (him and you), rather than for just yourself, and you can't count on him to pitch in if something comes up.  For these reasons and more, you don't trust him anymore.  \n\nYou may even wonder if he's doing it deliberately for some reason.  Sadly, in many situations like this, the unreliable person is doing it on purpose, because you've brought it to his attention, right?  If your bf was more trustworthy earlier in your relationship than he is now, why would that be?  Is he ill, or experiencing pressures so great that he simply cannot cope with ordinary competence?  If not, it's likely that he's being passive-aggressive.  \n\nOne of the things that I'm sure that keeps your head spinning is that he claims "it was just an accident," "it's no big deal," "I won't do it again," and you want to believe him, but it just gets worse.  \n\nSuch behavior is common enough that mental health professionals are studying it further for possible inclusion in diagnostic books (such as the ICD and the DSM).  The DSM (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders) calls it Passive-Aggressive Personality Disorder, or Negativistic Personality Disorder.  \n\nThe cardinal features of this disorder are intentional ineffectiveness and unacknowledged hostility, evidenced by:\n\n--appearing superficially submissive and cooperative.\n--will not say "no" to a request, but indirectly expresses resistance to demands by thwarting and frustrating authorities, spouses, and partners.  \n--frequent negative communication including "backhanded compliments," subtle attacks, blaming others for problems, insulting, complaining/whining, and fault-finding, especially when confronted.\n--denial of most emotions (particularly negative ones), denial of own role in conflicts.\n--displays ambivalence about responsibilities and commitments.\n--frequently sullen, envious and resentful of others.\n--sabotages obedient behavior with tardiness, dawdling, sloppiness, "accidental" errors, procrastination, forgetfulness, incompleteness, withholding of critical information, and an excessively leisurely work pace.  \n\nOf course everybody displays a few of these occasionally, but if your bf practices several of these behaviors or attitudes consistently over time, and it causes problems with employers or mates, then it's a problem.  Hints: If there is a spotty work history, mysterious "layoffs" or firings from work, and few close friends, you can bet he plays this game with others too.  \n\nWhat could your bf be getting out of this behavior?  At least two things.  By being a screw-up, he guarantees that people won't burden him with responsibilities.  Also, this may be a lifelong habit of his, a thing that he does to get sub rosa revenge on people whose demands annoy him.  It may have started with his parents, and he never quit.  \n\nMy heart goes out to you, because the one thing you request -- "What can I do to help him change this?" is the one thing you can't do.  You can't change him.  He must change himself.  You might be able to facilitate this change, but it will require you to stick your neck out, take risks, and uncompromisingly stand up for yourself.  \n\nAre you willing to end this relationship if your bf doesn't change his behavior?  Or are you willing to have a boyfriend and possible fu
409675
It really depends on the behaviour of the person not the syndrome Scizophrenia itself. So I say it depends. Could be yes. Could be no.
439539
well i would set it at my own pace and if he dont like it then tell him what is up then take it easy then tell him how you feel how you want things to hopefully happen and all that other crap he will gain respect for you and should listen if not then he is to bullheaded to see what you are trying to say so he will realize it at the wierdest time
162828
Yes, I think that maybe you should tell someone that you really feel comfortable telling. I mean after all this is a very serious situation. Things will only get worse if you dont do something now. Good luck!!
228755
If he is geting "some" with your knowledge, then you should be geting "some" with his knowledge. Girl it is a two way street. If you love him and he loves you too... then I think it is ok to live with him, just don't tell any of your friend or family because they will laugh in your face. That is not needed by you or by him.
51802
especially when they refuse to get checked out for diagnosis- when they wont acknowledge that they have a problem.  They will tell you it is you thats got issues, instead of them.\n\nUmm are you married?  Maybe you are just in her face too much!?  Most likely she aint Bi-polar, shes just over you!
762103
When I was first diagnosed, my partner flipped out on me and told me I was crazy.  Funny thing was that I wasn't diagnosed because I just got it.. it's been with me my whole life... but I've never had a word for "moodiness."  After I told her that, she was totally ok with it and let me self-help myself through a lot, which is exactly what I needed.  People get used to it, so if you've never had that experience, know that it's ok and that it will get easier.
1185248
It sounds like it would be helpful for you to learn more about schizophrenia to understand better what you could be getting yourself into by staying in the relationship.  Trying to maintain a relationship with someone who is suffering from the symptoms of a serious mental illness is difficult, and you don't want to go into it with your eyes closed.  There are a lot of great websites out there that talk about the symptoms of the illness.  http://www.schizophrenia.com/  also has support forums for family members and friends of individuals with schizophrenia....those might be helpful for you.  Another helpful thing may be to see a counselor on a short term basis yourself.  A psychologist or LCSW should be able to talk with you about the illness and help you think about the pros and cons of getting deeper into the relationship.  They can also help you explore your own reasons for starting this relationship and help you start thinking about whether or not it's a good choice for you.  Best of luck to you!
235554
If you do not know who your girlfriend is, then you have some serious issues. GO check yourself into a psychiatric ward.... YOU NEED HELP!!!!!!!!!!
984085
First off Schizophrenia is a hereditary condition. There is often a trigger for the first episode but your friend could have slipped you stuff every day of your life and if you did not have the genetics for Schitzophenia you would not have developed it. \n\nNor could you choose to develop such a dehabilitating condition. It is in your genetics. Not something you decide to do one day. Somebody blaming you for having episodes is like blaming you for being born with two arms. It just happened, it's not something within your control. \n\nThe military of course had to discharge you. If you were to have an episode while at a machine gun many lives could be lost. Key charactoristics of Schizo behavior is paranoia and hallucinations. Would be quite easy to confuse American troops or Iraqi civillians as insurgents during an episode. \n\nI'm not sure that your community is shunning you for being discharged as much as for you being Schizo. Remember a key defining aspect is paranoia. So many of those who have "shunned" you might have not started out that way but are reacting more to your assumptions about them than anything else. Even in modern society there is a big stigma on Schizophrenics.  While on meds the worst is controlled. Off meds you will be an unpredictable and potentially dangerous disruption. Schizos are notorious for burning down houses, committing random acts of violence and other destructive behavior. Not intentionally but because of paranoid delusions. Schitzos are also well known for getting off their meds because of the severe and frequent side effects of the meds. \n\nI would suggest moving to a more tolerant community and one that's going to help you stay on your meds.  That is the key.  Your life is pretty much over if you wind up getting into the cycle many Schitzos get into with on the meds, then off, then into an institution, then back out strait to the streets. Then eventually back on the meds, then rebuilding something of a life then getting off the meds and destroying that life. Back to an institution to start the whole cycle over again.  \n\nYou qualify for disability and should get on disability. You alway want to build safeguards into your life that enforce you taking your meds. Your meds are your lifeline to society. They are your ability to function and avoid the misery that charactorizes the lives of most Schizos. Most important, your actions when in a state of extreme paranoid delusion may take an innocent life and that will haunt you the rest of your days. So taking your meds is crucial. Staying on them is crucial. You need to build a life that forces you to stay on those meds. That allows for problems which will occasionally come out even while on your meds. Sounds like where you are at right now is a bad place to be. That it will only increase your problems. That is the LAST thing you want.  Low key, low pressure environment is what you want to set up. A certain amount of regimentation. A group empowered to keep you on your meds, get you help when you fall of the meds and watch over your stuff if your locked up for a time. Some folks you can trust even through the paranoia. That will take the effort to make sure your staying on your meds. That you will listen too when they say take your meds. \n\nYou have a hard road ahead of you. I do not envy you. I've watched others go through it. I would not wish it on anyone. Heed my advice and you can save yourself a great deal of sorrow.  The mechanisms of your disease are finally starting to be understood and one day there is hope for a real cure. Until then your meds are your crutch. Your lifeline to the world and a semblence of normalcy and happiness.
338482
Yes, I have told b/fs about the bd things bout me, if you don't let him know, and he finds out later, to me that's like lieing, in order to love and be loved, you have to let the bad things out as well.  Your partner is suppose to your best friend in all the world, if this is true, then you should be able to tell them anything and everything.
904020
Don't just tell her that you love her - you need to show her. I understand her apprehension. She thinks that if neglect her when you're dating what will happen once you're married and have children. You need to reassure her you will always be there for her and never hurt her. Good luck!
1054623
He understands perfectly.  He is just trying to get you to change your mind.  Stand your ground, you are doing the right thing.  Tell him you are engaged, very much in love and respect your fiance.  Do you know his wife?  Tell him you will ask her opinion of his proposition.  If all people had your attitude, there wouldn't be anyone to cheat with. I applaud you.  Best wishes on your upcoming wedding.
865034
This is tricky but if you wait until you know the person for a while, maybe you can say something.  It's true that nobody can truly know you w/o knowing bad things that have happened, so it's difficult....im not sure what to say.  Ironically, in psych phd programs, people tend to be the less tolerant of mental illness than you'd expect.
1033365
Darn.  I was gonna say something that might be funny in another context.  Sorry, it is not really a funny subject.  It seems that nobody else took the question seriously or read it first. \nNo, not schitzophrenia, but my dad has epilepsy and other problems that make him almost seem like it at times.  Sorry to hear about your situation.  I hope that your doctors come up with a good combination of meds and treatment that will help you cope in a normal way.\nI also want to apologize to anyone else who may have been offended.