anyone know any good jokes.???
604423
A blind man enters a Ladies Bar by mistake. He finds his way to a barstool and orders a drink. After sitting there for\nawhile,\nhe yells to the bartender, "Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?"\nThe bar immediately falls absolutely quiet. In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, "Before you tell that\njoke,\nsir, I think it is just fair - giving that you are blind - that you should know five things: 1 - The bartender is a blonde girl.\n2 - The bouncer is a blonde girl.\n3 - I'm a 6 feet tall, 160 LB. Blonde woman with a black belt in karate.\n4 - The woman sitting next to me is blonde and is a professional weightlifter.\n5 - The lady to your right is a blonde and is a professional wrestler.\nNow think about it seriously, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?the blind man thinks for a second, shakes his head, and declares, "Nah, Not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."
695118
That's the best joke I've heard on this site in a LONG time!\n\nThanks for the laughs! Keep up the great work!!\n\n(Gotta remember this one for the folks at work!)
216059
AM I FUNNY ENOUGH? HOPE SO...\n\n1\n\nFresh from her shower, a woman stands in front of the mirror complaining to her husband that her breasts are too small.\n\nInstead of characteristically telling her it's not so, the husband uncharacteristically comes up with a suggestion. "If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet paper and rub it between your breasts for a few seconds."\n\nWilling to try anything, the wife fetches a piece of toilet paper and stands in front of the mirror, rubbing it between her breasts.\n\n"How long will this take?" she asks.\n\n"They'll grow larger over a period of years," he replies.\n\nThe wife stops. "Why do you think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between my breasts everyday will make my breasts grow over the years?"\n\n"Worked for your butt, didn't it?"\n\nHe lived. And with a great deal of therapy, may even walk again..\n\n\n2\n\nMan driving down road.\nWoman driving up same road\nThey pass each other\nWoman yells out her window, "PIG!"\nMan yells out his window, "B.I.T.C.H!"\nMan rounds next curve\nCrashes into a huge pig in middle of road.\n\nThought For The Day : If only men would listen. \n\n\n3\n\nThe mother-in-law stopped unexpectedly by the recently married couple's \nhouse. She rang the doorbell and stepped into the house. She saw her \ndaughter-in-law standing naked by the door.\n\n"What are you doing?" she asked.\n\n"I'm waiting for my husband to come home from work," the \ndaughter-in-law \nanswered.\n\n"But you're naked!" the mother-in-law exclaimed.\n\n"This is my love dress," the daughter-in-law explained.\n\n"Love dress? But you're naked!"\n\n"My husband loves me to wear this dress! It makes him happy and it \nmakes me \nhappy. I would appreciate it if you would leave because he will be home \nfrom \nwork any minute."\n\nThe mother-in-law was tired of all this romantic talk and left. On the \nway \nhome she thought about the love dress. When she got home she undressed, \nshowered, put on her best perfume and waited by the front door. Finally \nher \nhusband came home. He walked in and saw her standing naked by the door.\n\n"What are you doing?" he asked.\n\n"This is my love dress" she replied.\n\n"Needs ironing." he said.\n\nHEHE>>HAVE FUN 2 YA GUYZ READING
977574
LOVED the joke.  Haven't heard (or read) such a funny joke is ages!!!
559522
lol that's a very cute joke.. good to see some clean ones around for once
745319
Try...\n\n www.jokes.com\n \n               Hope that this helps!!!
931095
Those are wonderful, I have a little party coming up with a few girlfriends and their men. These jokes will be great to tell to them. These are the perfect ones, they're short and totally sweet!!  Thanks I hope you don't mind me stealing them.
288007
HAHAHAHAHA!!!!  Funny...
1071877
LOL Thanks. Good joke!   ;)\n\n(you did a good job weeding out the humorless too!)
117201
http://jokes123.com\nhttp://flash-jokes.com\nhttp://spicyjokes.com\nhttp://www.google.com/search?q=jokes
811979
lol good one thats the best one ive heard today so far ive read your other jokes there lmfao keep them up
459430
*Two men walked into a bar and the other man ducked.\n\n*A duck walked into a pet store and asked the guy behind the counter "Hey! You got any duck food?"\n"No," the guy said, "now beat it."\nThe next day, the duck came back and said "Hey! You got any duck food?"\n"No," the guy said, "now beat it. And the next time I see you in here, I'm gonna nail your beak to the floor."\nThe next day, the duck came back and said "Hey! You got any nails?"\n"No," the guy said.\n"Good," said the duck, "you got any duck food?"\n\n*One day, a man died and went up to heaven. When he got to the pearly gates, St. Peter asked him "Did you do any good deeds in your life?"\n"Well," said the guy, "I rescued an old lady from a gang of robbers."\n"Hey, that's great!" St. Peter said, "when did you do that?"\n"Oh, about five minutes ago."\n\n*One day, three men were in a cave and they found a magic lamp. They rubbed it, and a genie came out and gave each of them one wish.\n"That's easy," the first guy said, "I'd like to be ten times smarter than I am right now!"\nPOOF! He was suddenly ten times smarter.\n"That's nothin'" the second guy said, "I'd like to be a HUNDRED times smarter than I am right now!"\nPOOF! He was suddenly a hundred times smarter.\n"Nah, I got all you guys beat," the third guy said, "I'd like to be a THOUSAND times smarter than I am right now!"\nPOOF! He turned into a woman.\n\nAnd the inevitable dumb blonde joke (NOTE TO ALL BLONDES: I DO NOT MEAN TO OFFEND. I AM MERELY REPEATING A JOKE I HEARD ONCE FROM A FRIEND OF MINE):\n\n*One day, a dumb blonde decided she was sick of all the dumb blonde jokes, so she decided to dye her hair brown and go for a long drive. She drove out to the countryside, where there were farms; one of these had sheep. She thought to herself "oh, how cute! I want a sheep!" So she went to the farmer and explained her request. \nThe farmer thought for a minute, then said "well, girly, tell you what. I'll let you have one of my sheep if you can guess how old I am."\nThe blonde thought about it for awhile, then finally said "66!"\n"By god, you're right!" The farmer said, astounded. He didn't really expect her to guess it, but since she did, he allowed her to pick out a sheep. So she picked one out and drove off, the sheep in the back. Suddenly, she saw the farmer behind her, chasing her car and waving frantically. She slowed down, and the farmer caught up to her and tapped on the window.\nShe rolled it down, and the farmer said "If I can guess what color your hair really is, then can I have my dog back?"
180673
101? I ONLY HAVE MY BEST 3 JOKES...HOPE IT DOESN'T OFFEND U\n\n1\n\nFresh from her shower, a woman stands in front of the mirror complaining to her husband that her breasts are too small.\n\nInstead of characteristically telling her it's not so, the husband uncharacteristically comes up with a suggestion. "If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet paper and rub it between your breasts for a few seconds."\n\nWilling to try anything, the wife fetches a piece of toilet paper and stands in front of the mirror, rubbing it between her breasts.\n\n"How long will this take?" she asks.\n\n"They'll grow larger over a period of years," he replies.\n\nThe wife stops. "Why do you think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between my breasts everyday will make my breasts grow over the years?"\n\n"Worked for your butt, didn't it?"\n\nHe lived. And with a great deal of therapy, may even walk again..\n\n\n2\n\nMan driving down road.\nWoman driving up same road\nThey pass each other\nWoman yells out her window, "PIG!"\nMan yells out his window, "B.I.T.C.H!"\nMan rounds next curve\nCrashes into a huge pig in middle of road.\n\nThought For The Day : If only men would listen. \n\n\n3\n\nThe mother-in-law stopped unexpectedly by the recently married couple's \nhouse. She rang the doorbell and stepped into the house. She saw her \ndaughter-in-law standing naked by the door.\n\n"What are you doing?" she asked.\n\n"I'm waiting for my husband to come home from work," the \ndaughter-in-law \nanswered.\n\n"But you're naked!" the mother-in-law exclaimed.\n\n"This is my love dress," the daughter-in-law explained.\n\n"Love dress? But you're naked!"\n\n"My husband loves me to wear this dress! It makes him happy and it \nmakes me \nhappy. I would appreciate it if you would leave because he will be home \nfrom \nwork any minute."\n\nThe mother-in-law was tired of all this romantic talk and left. On the \nway \nhome she thought about the love dress. When she got home she undressed, \nshowered, put on her best perfume and waited by the front door. Finally \nher \nhusband came home. He walked in and saw her standing naked by the door.\n\n"What are you doing?" he asked.\n\n"This is my love dress" she replied.\n\n"Needs ironing." he said.\n\nHEHE>>HAVE FUN 2 YA GUYZ READING
558893
Joke: If your uncle jack was on a roof - would you help your uncle jack off??? My girl has cought me many times - It turned her on and we ended up making passionate love!! I thought that was very cool!!!
755859
that was toooooooo good , i wish i could think of jokes that good. hahahahahahah rotfl lol, lmfao
782220
LOL, a very rare thing on  here is to read jokes that I have not read/heard b4!\nNice to see an original
929334
i hope this joke can make you laugh\n\nA little boy walks into his parents' room to see his mom on top of his dad bouncing up and down. The mom sees her son and quickly dismounts, worried about what her son has seen. She dresses quickly and goes to find him.\nThe son sees his mom and asks, "What were you and Dad doing?"\n\nThe mother replies "Well you know your dad has a big tummy and sometimes I have to get on top of it to help flatten it."\n\n"You're wasting your time, " said the boy.\n\n"Why is that?" asked his mom, puzzled.\n\n"Well when you go shopping the lady next door comes over and gets on her knees and blows it right back up."