When one takes a problem to their pastor, does it tend to hurt or cut off any future friendship?
604853
Not if the pastor is righteous in his ways of handling the problem and you are humble enough to take righteous advice.
1150954
I always listen first....and then think.\n\nIf someones says I have hurt them, then I really have hurt them.\n\nI listen to what they say and then filter it.\n\nI'm a Pastor's wife. Sometimes people expect me to do or be someone I can't be.  Like they want me to stop by and visit with them to chit-chat when I just don't have the time.  They have unspoken expectations...and they get hurt when I don't meet them.\n\nI listen to their hurts, and apologize for the things I don't measure up in.  Most of the time they are right in some way.  I don't go and visit them...regardless of the reasons.  If they were sick, I sure would find the time to visit.  \n\nAnyways, listen to the complaint, filter out the truth and apologize for your shortcomings.
545202
If she really has no feelings for him, then not talking to him shouldn't be an issue. If you go to church, go see your pastor with her. Tell her you're feeling uncomfortable, and you need a mediator. Pastors do this kind of thing all the time, and they're usually free for members of the congregation at least. If you aren't church goers then maybe a marriage councilor. Sometimes just having someone who is going to say what you say back to you is enough to make you go, "Um, wow, it didn't sound that stuipid in my head."
10276
I can certainly relate to what you are going through.  I, too, am a giver, and I have felt so drained of everything after being repeatedly used by someone. Yes, it does hurt badly to be liked for only what you have or can give!  I agree that you should be quick to forgive, and not just when it feels right.  However, you can forgive someone but still keep a healthy distance from that person if they continue doing things to hurt you.  Someone who is TRULY sorry won't keep using and abusing you.  I would suggest you try reading the book "Safe People" by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend. It really deals with this very issue and shows you how to safely choose people who are not going to treat you as a door mat.  In the mean time, go on forgiving, but set up some boundaries for yourself and don't allow people to walk on you.  Choose your friends wisely.  You can still love them, and pray for them, that they will come to see how they have treated you, but you don't want to give them the go-ahead for mistreating you.  If they are truly your friends, they will stop and never do it again.  If not, it's time to meet some new people.
960722
Anything like this can happen to ANYONE who takes their eyes off of Christ and starts focusing on the things of the world. Pastors are probably the most vulnerable of all since they are in the direct line of fire spiritually. Check out my blog below for an entry I just wrote about Ted Haggard.
1101058
Your friend has hurt you, back stabbed you.\n\nAnd you are hurt and angry, after all she did the wrong thing.\n\nI am sure all the negative feelings are making you unhappy?  How long do you want to feel unhappy?\n\nYou don't need to accept your friend back but you do need to forgive  her, even if you never speak with her again.\n\nIts good for your mind and feelings.\n\nIf you have not done so already reads the Lords prayer from the Bible.  Among other things is says "forgive us our sins as we forgive others".  None of us are perfect and all of us need some forgiveness.\n\nregards\n\nPeter
741736
One, you should never be trying to minister to someone on your own strength.  You will always feel 'drained' because that's really not how God intended us to do things.  Always rely on God's strength for things like this.  \n\nTwo, finding an less-than-lovable person hard to love has nothing to do with the Spirit's convictions.  It's human nature.  You may need to work actively to overcome this if God has called you into fellowship with this person.\n\nThree, if this person is trying to get you to talk about, think about, or do things that do not honor God and His ways, you have two choices.  If you can't change the direction of the conversation / relationship / fellowship to something that is honoring to God, then you need to drop it.  Stop hanging out with this person if he or she refuses to abandon the behavior or conversation topics that are not to God's liking.  You belong to Him now, you know.  He gets to decide with whom you hang out and such.  Let Him make this choice.\n\nFour, if you feel 'spiritually drained' after spending time with this person, you need to follow these visits with personal prayer time to get your spiritual self back on track afterwards.  God often does call us to be with people who 'drain' us.  He fills you before you go so you'll have plenty of His love to share, then fills you afterwards, too, so you can keep going.  You need to go to Him and ask for this, though, even though He knows you need it.  Jesus said we are to ask God for what we need, even though He already knows.  It's a relationship thing.  God wants us to be in close relationship with Him, asking and receiving what we need from Him.\n\nFive, your lack of peace could simply come from guilt about all the things you needed to get done during that time you were fellowshipping.  Be sure to check out all the human causes of this lack of peace.  It may be something as simple as guilt over time spent in ways that don't benefit you, which comes back to selfishness, of course.  You may just need to learn to better manage your time, so you can have an hour (guilt-free) with this person who needs your time.
1046734
Tell the people that you may have hurt that you are truly sorry, make restitution if you can, ask the Lord for forgiveness. If that doesn't work talk to your preacher/minister about it.
788326
Ofcourse!! I believe God could do anything. With GOd everything is possible. You ask me how do i know? trust me i know God will never ever want to see you hurt, although there are times where you may feel things are on top of ur head and ur world is upside down, and you wonder why God isnt doing anything about it? i believe hes waiting for the right time to fix our mess, because he sees if he fixes it wont be good for you later on. Im not very good with explaining but i hope you get what i mean. God bless you and help you with ur friendship.\n(i myself is losing a preciouse friend of mine...but i know God will help me through.)
245566
unfortunately these kind of things happen, In your place I would be offended also, I feel for you, and am sorry for the loss, it is hard to get over things like this. The only thing I can say is try not to dwell, I know it is easy to say and another to do, but If it will make you feel better you can go infront of the church. And again I am sorry for your loss!
1041495
As a Christian Pastor I must say that you have to forgive your father not for him but to rid yourself of those things.\nIf you feel that you have done everything that you need to do, and it sounds to me like you have, then you need to tell your boyfriend that's it, I'm done.\nYou are correct that a person can get sucked back into a life they have broken away from as illustrated by your father.\nIf this problem continues with your boy friend perhaps it's time for him to leave.
935810
Yes...\n\nThere's one very important lesson in life that i'm learning from day to day...\n\nThere is a time and place for everything.\nAnd sometimes you need to know when to just keep your mouth shut.\n\nSometimes you want to tell people how you feel but... confessing just makes it complicated.\n\nLike if i were to confess that i adore you, wouldn't that make your life complicated?\n\nI'm not saying i do but if i did, it would make things complicated, right? Just like if you were to say you adored me, it would make things complicated for me...\n\nSo there is a time and place for everything...\n\nHowever, you may be talking about something like politics and religion. And i'm quite biased with those two issues. I don't like hearing what people have to say if it's preach-based. But i like debating on the grounds of NOT being ignorant and all "holier-than-thou". I've had far too many people tell me i'm going to hell already. Not really looking forward to another. And politics... that's on a league of it's own. \n\nIn the end... don't bother me, i won't bother you.
1120622
Talk to your friend and let her know how you feel about her behavior. Maybe just distance yourself from her if she's not interested in changing. Talk to your pastor and ask for guidance in the meantime all you can do is pray for her. \nI wouldn't tell my husband or her husband. It will only make matters worse and make you look like the bad guy.
192119
Absolutely.  We all let Him down at times.  He wants us to just keep coming back to Him.  I find the Catholic sacrament of reconciliation (confession) helpful in such situations.
932442
sounds like he has some personal problems...i'd go talk to the pastor
520943
Yes you should. Also, if your afraid by telling that you will lose his friendship, and just don't want to, then consider talking to you counselor and explaining the situation. They are trained to handle situations like this.
895870
Tracy, unfortunately it sounds as if you have gotten a preacher who has other things on his mind than ministering to the whole flock. A good pastor shouldn't care about the financial or social standing of his congregation. He should love,honor,respect,guide, and comfort every member of his church regardless of their social standing or financial wealth. The fact that he failed to lend comfort and support to the church members who had deaths in their families is unacceptable. Perhaps the deacons and the other church elders need to get together and decide what must be done about him. Good luck and God bless.