how does one stop from being to closely attached to a person? must one really avoid being to closely attached?
603225
it is not wrong to be closely attached to each other I think... But you have to watch out not to become to dependent of each other or one person to dependent on the other. it may suffocate the other person. he she may kind of feel like you lean on them and therefor they feel like they cant move or step aside, because u might fight.\n\nI if u want to change it start by being aware of what the consequences will be and if u do , u can see that it is important which makes it easier to change.\n\nFor me the best relation would be between two persons who are able to stand in live in an independent way, \nthey don't love each other because they need each other, they need each other because they love each other.\n\nalso the problem with being to attached is that you can't be sure anymore if it is really love, it might be a symbiosis.\n\nalso you could ask yourself why is it so important for the person that is attached, to be attached in such a way. \nthere might be a good explanation for that, insecurity? some else? afraid to be left? \n\nwell I don't know the exact story, but I kind of feel the answer to stop has to do with 1 thing mostly.\nwhich is to be confident yourself to know that even if you let that person loose, he/she will come back to you if he/she truly love.\n\nI like quotes, here goes one. \n\n"Love is like a bird she needs to fly, if she comes back to you, she is yours, if not she never belonged with you."\nCant remember the writer..
671436
Well at times life puts you through a test and you need to make do with what you have and decide likewise.\n\nIf possible, you should decide on moving away from him.\n\nIf you are dependent on that person and / or tied with him for some reason which would not allow you to move away, then try to stress less on the darker side of your life. If it's just something that you can't really do anything about then at-least deviate your mind and attention away from that person as much as possible. Try occupying yourself with something that takes your mind away from him so you don't keep pondering on the fact and getting yourself more depressed.\n\nLast but not the least, I don't really know your relationship with this person or your history with him, though would still suggest to analyze your situation once again to see where the wrong lies. There may just be ways that you can salvage your relationship with this person. Depending on your situation, it may just be worth the try.\n\nHope you find a way out of your problem soon.\n\nAll the best.
541325
Distance yourself. You won't want to, but staying close to someone you want but can't have just isn't healthy. Don't tell the person or anyone close to them what you are doing, as they might try to convince you otherwise. Just try to get away for a while. You don't have to cut the person off completely (although that is an option). Don't call him/her, don't go places where you know he/she frequents, and make yourself scarce. Take the time to reflect on your situation and learn more about yourself. \nDate. While you are distancing yourself from said object of affection, try to date people that you like. Don't settle for whoever asks you out, or you might end up making someone fall in love with you who you don't love back! Approach people, try new things. You might want to compare everyone to the object of your affection, and you won't think anyone measures up. Stop this right now. You know there's someone better out there. Go find him or her!
776624
Forcin' yourself 2 believe that this person is actually a bad person is really doing nothing but fooling yourself.\n\nEverybody that we meet has some form of impact on our lives...this one particular "person" just had a very BIG influence on you.  Of course, it's going to be hard to "get over them", but you have to come to an acceptance that it's over between the two of you.  It'll be hard, but that's the only way you'll ever TRULEY move on.
229849
it is like this, what comes around goes around. maybe you will get the "thanks" from other people. however, do not do things if you do not feel comfortable with them. just let this person be. he may be a character but if you are not emotionally close to him, then just let him be. just do not be bothered by him. now, if you are close to him, you might try to talk things out with him or try small jokes or little hints regarding what you want. if it still won't work, just let him be.
181742
You're connected to them. You must be close with this person right? It means you're tuned into each others souls. I know that sounds a little creepy but it's true. It's like having slight telepathy with this person. It happens with me and some of my friends. My bofriend too!
219962
I am going through the same deal, except I am no where close to the love part yet. It is difficult to lay yourself out on a line when your not certain they feel the same. I am beginning to understand you just have to take that plunge if you care enough that it worries you and your ready to express it. I need to take my own advice.
304046
Be a friend to her, since all relationships begins with friendship. And since you are a sensitive person, this gives you some advantages and safeguards; you can hide most part of yourself and the same time you can find out her true intention.\n\nYou have asked some good questions back there, just proceed through cautiously and keep finding more about her. Setup boundaries between yourself and her, that will guard yourself from being too close.\n\nIn time who knows, you may find out that she is really like you.
572705
If two people do get as involved as you want then emotions are inevitable.  Even if two people try to make a commitment to not get emotionally attached it is next to impossible for one or both of them to stay emotionally distant.  Taking long walks usually means there is a commitment of some sort.  You want a physical relationship with no strings attached right?  Well it never works out.  One way or another emotions are going to get evolved.  If not the luvy-duvy type then the angry type.  Unfortunately many people have an idea as to what the ideal relationship is.  The guy is supposed to be the bread winner or the woman is supposed to cook and clean and many other things like that.  Everyone wants to pick and choose what happens when two people get together, but because the two people are different people then this is impossible.  You can't just pick and choose exactly what you want when you're with someone.  You want all the physical, but no emotional aspects of a relationship and unfortuantely for you it can't be done.
394714
well you have to rule out for sure that you will not be able to be with this person.  If it's a no go for sure. you can just lust for that person till your feelings dissipate.  Don't pout get out there and meet others.\ngood luck
69349
Some people feel that they are getting too attached too quickly because they had just ended a relationship or they are afraid of a one way street commitment... in this case, I would just ask him what he thinks of the relationship.  Does he consider you guys friends or dating... sometimes you have to put the question on the table and cut out the bullcrap
165217
Any human with the capacity to love gets attached pretty easily. There's nothing wrong with that either. Yes, we do have to separate ourselves sometimes and try not to get too attached to some things or people (like puppies you're going to sell or give away) and it can be tough sometimes, but ya know what? Thank God that you are able to love because those that cannot love lose so much. I'm sure you've heard the "tis better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all" quote, (may not be exact, but you get it), well, never was a truer word spoken. When you love, love with your whole heart, never half-way. God bless. =)
446020
no matter what if you love her it will hurt and will hurt badly. Perhaps if you exaimine the reason why the relationship is drawing to close there might be something that you can do to prevent it. \nIf you really want to become more independant then do more things either: alone or with friends(excluding her). Jusr dont spend as much time with her. If I were you I would brace myself for the end, but at the same time try to fix it. \nI know that sounds hard to do and I would most likely fail at it, but I do think it would be the thing to do.
562059
Be firm with them. Set clear boundaries and let them know that you do not wish those boundaries to be crossed.\n\nIf they cross those boundaries, then remove yourself from their presence. Terminate relationship with them if needed.\n\nCordially,\nJohn
995758
Keep your eyes wide open. Try to keep from becoming passionate about the relationship. This is difficult for most. Allow yourself the detachment of deep emotions. I found that this enables us to see the traits of a man, good or bad...We need to see them through our "friendship eyes" Think of it this way...what would a friend do? If he reacts like a friend repeatedly,then they begin to gain our respect and trust!! happy hunting....
395142
i know its difficult to get someone out of ur mind once you start liking them...or say loving them.you get so attached and so involved that they become an integral part of ur emotions, dreams, life. but guess  they never were worth our love and trust. so move on..live ur life.
993365
concentrating on these things too much can lead to obsessions so just relax and enjoy your life and your body. then one day when you are both ready a person will comeinto yourlife and share it with you. And they will truely love you for the you that you are.