WHAT CAN I DO?My husband goes to his mothers house always,and left me and my son Alon,and we are angry with?
601800
Sounds to me like you have a mamas-boy problem. Is it her drawing him to her home or him that is unable to break the ties?  \n\nIf he is a Christian you may want to consult your clergy. In the Bible it is written that when a man marries he leaves his mother and father and "cleaves unto his wife" then he becomes head of his own house hold." (The man of the house.)  \n\nA friend of mine once had a mother-in-law problem. The mother-in-law would not leave them alone. She would butt into their business. Drop in unannounced. They never had a moment’s peace or time alone together. The in-law was a believer in Voo-Do. So my friend decided to set up a bunch of candles throughout her home and made some makeshift doll out of rags and cornhusks. She really had no idea of what she was doing. She made it look as much like her mother-in-law as she could and left it by some lit candles on the table.  The next time her mother-in-law came in it spooked the heck out of her. She ran out of her house declaring not to step foot in her home again.  Now that was one smart lady.  Of course my friend didn’t believe in any of that stuff. But in that instance it sure worked.
521538
ok hunny been there done that.  with your sweetie i cant give a guarenteed answer but i had that problem with my son's father when we were together. he thought it was his responsibilty to look after his mom.  last straw for me was when she "borrowed" 200 bucks to take his sister back to the mainland for ferry and gas and i found out that she used it to go bowling. man i was pissed beyond recognition since the money came out of my account which i used to pay ALL the bills and he wouldnt ask her to pay it back. in your case hes the child and unless they are unable to work or seriously something wrong with them then his responisbility is to you and his children.........however many kids there are and his parents should know that their grandbabies come first and foremost. doesnt matter whose kids they are they are always first and shame on his ex for trying to stick him with two kids that arent his. personally i wouldnt put up with whats going on but maybe make a really big chart and stick it up somewhere really obvious (maybe in the bathroom right over the toilet where he presumably STANDS every morning to take a piss and cant miss it) and put up a couple column where you detail the money your bro gives you for gas and the money his parents drain out every month and ask him how if hes going to support his parents where is the money going to come from for paying child support plus all the monthly bills. family is only as important as you make them and he needs to get rid of his and be a big boy. if they want to know his every move maybe perhaps you should suggest to his parents that he get his old room ready so he can move back in it or offer to move your entire family his kids your kids an all into THEIR house so that they can be in control and you can stay rent free and they can babysit.  all else fails change your phone number refuse to open your door and have all the accounts put in your name with only you being able to access them. or as suggested by the others then by all means kick his ass to the curb............ but thats up to you and how much more of this you are willing to deal with.
873141
i am very sorry to hear that.  But you have to be patient.  Keep your baby, and try to keep your marriage.  He needs to stand up to his mother but it may not happen because she is ill, sit tight and be patient.  Give him time to think
138991
Well, I just left the guy that I was with.  At first I had a really hard time dealing with him.  He made my life miserable and he f'd up a lot of opportunities that I had.  I hated him so much, but I practiced a lot of restraint and didn't let my anger take over the situation because we had a child together.\nIt sucks that she is being so hateful toward you, especially since you have a child together and you'll always have to deal with each other.\nI do not know what happened between the two of you, but here is what I would suggest if you really want to help things smooth out between the two of you so that you can sucessfully co-parent together.  I would say:\nI am sorry for the things that happened between us, that things did not work out, and I respect that you have hard feelings and that you are angry with me.  I want to give you the space that you need to work through this and I will be willing to talk if you need to.\n\nThen from there, you really have to be willing to hear her out and don't interupt her when she tells you how she feels about you or what happened, don't try to justify anything, just let her vent.  It will help her to move on.  You guys are obviously not going to be friends anytime soon, but that's not the point, just make sure there is ample opportunity to discuss anything child related and leave it at that\n\nMost likely she is so mean because she is hurt that the relationship is ended. She resents you and with time it will hopefully get better, but unfortunatly there are women out there who never let it go and the best thing to do is to let them think they are right.  Remember, Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned...\nJust be the best father you could be, your kid is all that really counts anymore.\nDon't let her drag you into arguements about anything because if things get nasty, anything you say could later be brought up against your nature if you go to court over custody.\nBe the better person.
729633
You have every right to be angry - very angry in fact.  I recommend that you let him see the children.  You can say to the courts (and to yourself) that you have done everything that you are supposed to do and everything that is good for the children.\n\nAfter he leaves, call the cops and let them know what hotel he is staying at.  That way, the children won't see the deadbeat S.O.B. when he is arrested.
479426
tell your hubby how you feel. If your not comfortable living there anymore, tell him. Let him know that you have nothing against his mom, but you've also got your lives to think about. You two need time to yourself, need your own privacy, and need your own space. Tell his mom, that even though it's her house, you have rights to, and need your space. You could always move out to a place of your own, maybe your hubby will follow, maybe he just wants to support his mom for the rest of his life. Talk to him, he might have things on his mind about the situation to
176088
FIRST OF ALL YOU NEED TO PARAY TO GOD TO GIVE YOU STRENGTH TO BE ABLE TO KNOCK THE H*** OUT OF THEM IF THEY GET IN YOUR FACE AGAIN, BECAUSE IT IS NOT UNFAIR OF YOU SO DO NOT THINK THAT WAY. YOU SHOULD TELL THEM HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT THEM AND MAKE NO QUALMS ABOUT IT. THEY SHOULD HAVE BEEN IN YOUR DEFENSE WHEN YOU AND YOUR HUSBAND HAD THAT ARUGUMENT AND HE WAS DISRESPECTING YOU, INSTEAD THEY USED IT FOR THEIR TIME TO VENT HOW THEY FELT ABOUT YOU. YOU NEED TO SIT DOWN AND TALK TO YOUR HUSBAND ABOUT THIS ISSUE, AND LET HIM KNOW HOW  YOU FEEL ABOUT THIS. DO NOT DEPEND ON YOUR HUSBAND TO SHIELD YOU FROM THEM, BECAUSE IT SEEMS THAT IS IS DEFINETLY SLACKING IN THAT DEPARTMENT. YOU BETTER LET THEM KNOW WHERE TO GET THE HECK OFF AT, AND THE NEGATIVITY THAT THEY HAVE TOWARDS YOU IS MUTUAL (EVEN IF IT IS NOT THEY DONT HAVE TO KNOW THAT), BECAUSE YOU HAVENT DID ANYTHING TO DESERVE TO BE TREATED LIKE THAT. \nFURTHERMORE YOU DO NOT HAVE TO DEAL WITH THEM THOSE ARE YOUR HUSBAND'S PARENTS NOT YOURS, DO NO FEEL THAT JUST BECAUSE YOU ARE MARRIED TO THEIR SON THAT YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THEM. TO MAKE THINGS EASIER FOR YOU DO GOT TO THEIR HOUSE, AND DO NOT LET THEM COME TO YOUR, IF YOUR HUSBAND WANT TO SEE THEM THEN HE CAN GOT OVER THERE.  \nYOU DO NOT HAVE TO BE "UNDERSTANDING" ABOUT A D*** THING, AND YOUNEED TO TELL YOUR HUSBAND THAT YOU ARE NOT GOING TO KISS THEIR A**** JUST TO GET ALONG WITH THEM, AND IF HE DONT WATCH THEN HE WILL BE BACK AT HOME WITH HIS MOM AND DAD.  YOU ARE A WOMAN IN YOUR OWN RIGHT, AND YOU SHOULD NOT HAVE TO PUT UP WITH THEIR CRAP. I HOPE THIS HELPS!!!
246361
You need to make it clear that you are not choosing between your mother and your husband.  You're simply making sure that your child will have a father.  If your mother is already crying when you bring this up, there is a good chance she has already resigned herself to the fact that you are leaving.  I wish you the best of luck.
1047167
You said this just started and for no apparent reason. Maybe it is just that you have no clue to the reasoning behind it. I am not saying he is justified in treating you like crap or doing things in front of the children that he shouldn't but there has to be a reason for it. Have you tried asking him what is going on. Maybe something has happened and for what ever reason he can't or doesn't know how to share this with you so in turn his actions is a result of what ever is really bothering him. You have made it clear you won't put up with this so stress this to him again that if he can't share with you what is going on you can't try to help him with it but that he isn't going to take it out on you either. He needs to make the choice as to what to do and then you can choose what to do based on how he feels. I really feel for you hun as something happened to my ex husband and he thought he would become physical with me until I told him he would die before he hit me again and of course the final results was I left. I couldn't fix something that I had no clue as to what was going on and I was not going to be hit on or abused in any other way either. I hope he comes around before you leave him but do what is best for you and the children hun!!.
833276
Do NOT marry this man!!  Staying with him for the sake of your child is not going to be good for your son if he sees his dad beating up on you!  Go to a good friend, relative, pastor, or counselor that can help you get out of this situation.  It's hard, but you can do it.  You have to.
368486
I have that same problem he knows where I am and when I will be back he nextel's me constantly while I am trying to do my homework for college I can hardly do anything, my mother always said that if a man or woman acts like this it is because they are doing something they shouldn't be doing. I think about this all the time, because I constantly do everyghing in my life around his every whim and I am completly exhaused I have requested for us to go to counseling but he always says there's nothing wrong. It's a choice you have to make for yourself, is it really worth all of this drama to stay with someone you love?\nor do you walk away?
367511
Well you could write them a letter about how you feel and leave it at that! And then go on with your plans together. They will either learn to live with their son's decision or they won't.\n\nThe parents aren't the ones in this relationship and if you both love each other, do what you need to do to be together. DON'T NOT be  together because of them. they are not in this relationship you both are, and you two should be happy. They'll get over it, it may take years, but at least you won't have to worry about your mother-in-law butting into your business, right off the bat.
906406
Unfortunately we can't control family....not the ones we are born into and certainly not the ones we marry into and with that said as long as you are making every effort to have a peaceful existance the rest is on her.  Mothers love their sons and do some strange things in the name of that love.  Despite her reasons if you and that boy are happy forget about her.  I am curious to know how he responds to her disrespecting you and your child?
631226
Leave him, chances are you will be next This is how alot of domestice violence begins. \n\nBut call a family member and plan it ahead of time.
143403
Lol..lol.. Maybe he, like myself is confused in what heck you're talking about? Are you trying to get rid of him too? That's his mother, and honey, you might be treading deep water on this issue, and drive him away with her...lol
896858
Dear Mam, I was in a similar situation. I was in another state on top of it. He controlled everything, even the phone. When I got on he had to control the conversation, so my family quit calling. I was with him for 17 years.Because I was afraid of him. Now that is probably what is wrong with her, FEAR. He has probably threatened her and she feels she has no way out. Plus if you were close to her, dont you think she knows too? I missed my mom  sooo bad. Well she passed away before I got to see her after 2 years. He would never let me go visit any of my family alone so I feel for her. I don't believe that she knew what she was getting into. I didn't. He changed after we married.\nMy advise to you is wait and be patient. Believe me its killing her as much as you. To not see her mom I'm sure is hurting her. New Baby?\n She either keeps her mouth shut or they fight alot. Either way there will be heartbreak. Too bad you couldn't find a way to get her out of there but you see when you have more than what you grew up with, its hard to leave. Your daughters husband is nothing but an insecure bully that feels he has power over her. Makes him feel like a big man when you and I both know he's a very small man. Just has a loud voice and knows how to use his power.\nI too couldn't go anywhere with out my husband, he timed me when I went in the store, questioned me as to why it took so long and who was I talking to. He controlled the finances, He told my kids when and where they could go and who they could see and how long, that included church activities. I finally left after much proding from my church friends, 17 yrs later. I know exactly what is going on. I pray that she will come to her senses before that. I'm sure he is telling her that no one else will give her what he has and no one will love her either. Also He is probably demeaning her to keep her down and that she will have no friends no family or self esteem. So she will feel no one will want her so why leave? That is why I never left. I believed him! Why should'nt I? He was my husband and he would not hurt me. Trust me this man is a monster. He is narcisstic, anti social, among other things. \nTry putting an ad in the paper, classified, saying only what she will know. Maybe something can generate from that. Sounds horrible but it may be the only way. If she can't use her phone that will be very difficult to contact you. He keeps track of the phone records too. Believe me this guy is a scarey person.\nSorry this is so long, but there was alot to say. \nJust remember IF you reach her, let her know how much you love her NO MATTER WHAT.
246861
your husband sounds like a loser\ni think you need to leave him for someone who will come home to you