I am separated and my daughter wants to live with her father.Should I leave the state and forget about them?
603258
I wouldn't leave the state because, eventually, she will wise up and realize she needs and loves you.  That you are the only mother she has.  \n\nI would, however, not contact her (for 2 months).  I would want to know how long it would be before she missed me...but that is because I would be curious.  After 2 months, I would make contact again because I would never give up.  I am not recommending you do that...you need to decide for yourself what course of action you want to pursue.\n\nI'm sorry that your daughter is treating you like this.  You are obviously trying but she is just being obnoxious and rude.  Sounds like she is siding with her father over the separation and there is no way to know what he is telling her.  Just take it a day at a time and someday, she will wise up.
717787
I have 2 little ones, and I would think that it would be easier for me if someone took the kids away for a bit.  Talk to your daughter about her feelings, then make a decision.
550995
You need to check with the court and your custody agreement. He could contest your moving out of the country, even out of state, assuming the two of you live in the same state. Look into this before you do anything. You may have to revise the agreement, or if he still has rights to your daughter, he could stop you from moving out of the U.S. Good luck!
509881
WELL I THINK WHAT YOU DID FOR HER AND HER DAUGHTER WAS MORE THEN MANLY. MOST MEN WOULD SAY OH WELL AINT MY PROBLEM AND WOULD HAVE STAYED. I THINK THAT YOU SHOULD STILL HAVE A RELATIONSHIP WITH THAT WOMAN IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU CARE FOR HER VERY MUCH. YOU DONT HAVE TO LIVE THERE AND SHE CAN STILL DEVOTE TIME TO HER CHILD. HAVE EITHER ONE OF YOU TRIED TO MAKE THE DAUGHTER APART OF YOUR RELATIONSHIP SO SHE WONT FEEL LEFT OUT. WE AS MOTHERS HAVE TO LEARN HOW TO SHARE OUR LOVE AND ATTENTION. TALK TO HER AND YOU TALK TO THE DAUGHTER TRY TO BE A FAMILY NOT JUST MOM'S BOYFRIEND. IN THE MEAN TIME- TAKE KARATE, GO TO THE GYM, BECOME A BIG BROTHER,DO SOMETHING YOU WILL BE PROUD OF AND STOP MESSING WITH SKANKY WOMEN JUST IN CASE YOU AND MOM GET BACK TOGETHER
350301
I am assuming that you had legal custody and he had visitation rights?  \nTo my knowledge that should not effect her ability to get services from the state.  As long as she is a resident of IL she should continue getting benefits.  The only people that would care who has legal custody is you, her, and her dad.\nKeep in mind - if she lives with him - you could be liable for child-support payments to her dad.
190142
well theres a reason u 2 broke up, so think bout that first. sounds like u have ur mind made up tho to go back to him so let him down easy, say its for ur kids.feel sorry for ur current tho probably got along well with ur kids, so now u gotta tell him where he went if u go back to thier dad.
381134
The first guy is right.  I mean everything depends on your personal custody arrangement, but as a general rule you cannot move out of state or, like the 1st guy said, anywhere that will alter the current visitation arrangement.\n\nHOWEVER, if you have sole custody and the father does not regularly visit the child, I would challenge him to take you to court over it.  If he is not an active part in the child's life, he won't get to put his foot down and interfere with your life just to be a jerk.  So if that is the case, the answer will be yes, you can.  The court won't stop you.
1071850
Separations are never easy (as I very well know)...Give yourself and your child time!!\n\nTalk to your child, and let your child know he/she is loved by 'both' of you.. and if need be, reassure him/her that it is not his/her fault you broke up!! (as some may think/ feel this way).\n\nYou have left your partner for I have no doubt good reason: but he/she has in their eyes lost a daddy, and is going through a grieving process of their own, which takes time to come to grips with.  \n\nHopefully daddy will still be around, and be able and willing to play a part in his child's life ... and if like my ex-partner and myself, maybe you two will be able to put the past behind and become 'friends' for real, or for the sake of your child in time, and then he/she will have the best of both worlds!!\n\nIts a difficult one, and my heart goes out to you.
783330
I personally think you have made a smart move and are taking responsibility for what is yours. I would NOT stay with or talk with the ex girlfriend. (why mess up what you are trying to recreate). I can understand why you were made at your wife, but she is your wife and more importantly the daughter is yours.
113964
I think you should leave your boyfriend.  If you are not happy with him and he doesn't make you happy, then leave.  You think alot of your child, to want to stay, but your child will see that you are happy, once you leave and the child will be happy also.  As for the ex, you shouldn't get back with him, unless you are sure it was meant to be.  You have your child, who needs you more than any man.  You will know when the right one comes along.
1154062
I think yes.. you are..I know someone got divorce and remarried again to his ex wife..\n\nThere's no harm for taking another chance of going back to your wife, not only because of the fact that you have a daughter.  Somebody said "love is sweatier at the second time around.  Talk to your ex wife and discuss things with her.  Try to know if she stills love you.. Intuition will not deny if she still have feelings for you,you will feel it right from the bottom of your heart.  You just have to take time, especially after all what happen you are still friends.. It will not be difficult to bring back the things again.. If this not work, at least you try.. and give yourself a break and focus yourself on your child...\n\nThe girl living with you right now, be honest to her.. If you dont really love her, why waste time? or why hurt her?  Honesty is always a pain for everyone, but remember it always brings you peace of mind.  No things in this world greater than having a peace of mind.  Knowing that you are being fair to everyone.
661295
Well, chances are that she will get custody of your daughter.  If you believe what Dr. Phis says, children would rather be from a broken home than live in one.  You never made a commitment to the girl, which I believe is wrong anyway, but I don't think using one another just for sex is a reason to stay in a relationship.  It has to be built on more than that.  Nobody can tell you what you should do, nor should they, but I think that you need to find love and commit yourself to a woman for life.  Good luck.
480245
I think you are stuck.  Your rights as a mother are no stronger than his rights as a father.  You both have rights as parents, and that means that neither of you can pick up the child and move out of state without the permission of the other.  Would you like it if he decided to move to California with your son but not you?
1167346
I say do it the American Way and bring her to court for the rights!  You may not like living with her after she is served with court papers but you can legally get your way because any judge in his right mind will not deny you the right to see your father.
1104516
stay away from him for you and your daughters sake he sounds like a loser your only asking for trouble. Besides even if he became the nicest guy overnite by a miracle what kind of father has he been 2 yrs out of jail i think she would resent him being forced into her life just so YOU could get over your loneliness ? investigate your heart why you would even consider taking him back i'm sure you'll find it's a selfish reason besides thats how the devil tempts us when were weak to hungry too tired ect if your hungry enough you'll eat poison and think it tastes good becareful pray but most importantly stay away from him don't give a devil a foothold into your life if not for you do it for your daughter don't ruin your relationship with her boyfriends come and go but only one daughter remember that! Godbless
47632
i agree with the others, if you just move in and later break up, you can all be hurt, especially his daughter. i don't know the circumstances, but does he have full custody, is the child's mother going to have or be a problem? also are  YOU ready to take over the responsiblities of a child that's NOT yours? those are a few things to think about. and if you are thinking of moving in, i'd say it's pretty serious! how long have you been dating? please think of how this will affect his daughter before you do anything.
593729
check with your lawyer before going. i have family that are divorced and they have to sign forms allowing their kids to leave the state even for a short amount of time...be safe.