My husband keep talking about my past and doesnt trust me!!! 13 yrs 4 kids?
608392
Don't quite understand the details. But it sounds like you're settling for second best.  You deserve someone who will love you unconditionally. You deserve to be cherished and protected and cared for.\n\nA man who'll continuously throw your past in your face (like you can change the past) and steps out and cheats on you is a toxic person.  He's just bringing you down.  Either he changes (which is hard to do) or you need to get stronger and demand better for yourself and your children.\n\nYour children learn from observation.  Do you want your daughters to choose a husband like this man for themselves?  Do you want your sons to become like this man and ruin other women's lives?
1047167
You said this just started and for no apparent reason. Maybe it is just that you have no clue to the reasoning behind it. I am not saying he is justified in treating you like crap or doing things in front of the children that he shouldn't but there has to be a reason for it. Have you tried asking him what is going on. Maybe something has happened and for what ever reason he can't or doesn't know how to share this with you so in turn his actions is a result of what ever is really bothering him. You have made it clear you won't put up with this so stress this to him again that if he can't share with you what is going on you can't try to help him with it but that he isn't going to take it out on you either. He needs to make the choice as to what to do and then you can choose what to do based on how he feels. I really feel for you hun as something happened to my ex husband and he thought he would become physical with me until I told him he would die before he hit me again and of course the final results was I left. I couldn't fix something that I had no clue as to what was going on and I was not going to be hit on or abused in any other way either. I hope he comes around before you leave him but do what is best for you and the children hun!!.
930164
looks like you know whats going on. the question is, what are you going to do about it? your husband is playin you, and you need to confront him, dont let him feed you those obvious lies. he should respect you and his unborn child enough to at least be honest with you. if he doesnt want to be with you, he needs to make that known.
602580
If your husband loves you a lot, that is acceptable.  If he doesn't talk about his past relations with women, that is also acceptable.  Our past is a learning experience, not a current barometer of our thoughts and actions.\n\nBest advice, simply ask him about his old affairs (hopefully all before he met you of course!).  If he doesn't have much to say on the subject, that is ok.  You must judge him on the here and now, the promises he's made to you since he's met you.  \n\nDon't make any judgements from the time before you met him, that only leads to heartache and trouble, regardless of how good he may be.
921431
I would be more concerned about why your Husband told you in the first place, could it not be that your Husband is lying, I am not saying he is, but you have to look at it from both sides, and try to rationalize everything, Men do sometimes lie about this type of thing, to make their partners jealous
1149072
I asked my husband about his ex before and he asked about mine.  The thing is you get hurt because he is telling you about someone he has had a prior relationship with, someone he has been intament with.  Its hard knowing that someone else has been with the man you love.  I am sure your husband wasn't the only one you have been with either.  Tell your husband..." I am sorry that i am always asking you about your exgirlfriends.  Its just something i need to know about.  If I seem a little upset its because its hard picturing sharing you with others.  Also tell him .." When i get upset i need you to reassure me that i am the only one you want to be with."  My husband reassures me all the time.  He is always telling me how lucky he is to have me.  I am able to trust him because he tells me I am the only one for him.
1076682
First honey I want to commend you on changing your life!!! Next you deserve better, for yourself and for the kids. You never let a man belittle you and take your pride and dignity away. I know that you love him and yes it will hurt if you decide to leave him but sweetheart it hurts even more being there and putting up with his crap. Evidently he has no respect for the mother of his child because he's calling you out of your name. Always remember you deserve better and you don't have to tolerate it. LOVE yourself and those babies. Build your self-esteem up because it seems he's tearing it down. I have been up this road before and its no fun. You don't know why he treats you like this then ask him, but there is no excuse if he loves you.\n\nI can't sit here and tell you to leave him all I can say is follow your heart, do what you think is best for your life. If he can't let go of the past then he won't change you can't not change the past all you can do is continue to move forward.\n\nI wish you the best in life and whatever decision you make good luck. Keep your head up and continue to progress for yourself and the kids!!\n\nMuch Love!!
201419
#1 it is none of their business ... your past is your past...  it has nothing to do with the present  or the future...   why do men want to know all the time ?? so they can make judgements, and   bring it up  as a weapon?? no thanks...let sleeping dogs lie... or they might  come back to bite ya  !!!!!!!
455996
I think you are already worried or you wouldn't have asked the question on here. I do not think this is appropriate at all. Your husband should tell them, I'm married now and I don't think it is a good idea to "keep in touch". NO WAY are you being childish, your being smart.
1010729
I'm going through a similar situation because of things I did years ago.  They never really trust you again. Not fully anyway.  It is always there, waiting for the opportunity to show up and force you to feel guilty about something.  I've been going through this for 13yrs.  It hasn't gotten any better.  Maybe you need to learn from your mistake and move on. I don't know why I stayed,but I wish I hadn't.
806641
You are very Amazing and smart and more forgiving than your wife deserved .....Troy&Mike were being abused by a violent child\n\nAnyone who would ask you to get rid of part of your family Exspecialy after you forgave her sick twisted past secrets \n\nDump the liar ...you deserve better
511033
It's verbal abuse.  He doesn't have respect for you, let alone your kids.  You're kids don't deserve this treatment, and you don't deserve to put in the middle.  You have 2 options:  you can leave without working on it, or you can talk with him (as long as he doesn't have any violent tendancies) and see if he will get help through counseling.  It sounds as if he's a little jealous of the attention that you give your kids- they were there first and will ultimately be number one no matter what.  He's scared and resentful.  (You didn't say that he did it to you.)  Remember that he will only change if *he* chooses to, and does it for himself.  It is possible to work through, if he really doesn't want to be that kind of person.  If you notice that he's only doing it just to get you back, talk with him about a separation.  Fix it right- fix it once.\n\n\n**Again, if he is violent, talking about it may only anger him and cause a confrontation.  You and your children's safety is more important than the relationship you have with him.
161352
I'm not one to really talk since I've been divorced twice, but still, I think that unless he's abusing you or your kids, give him a chance to remind you of why you married him in the first place. "For better or worse" There is nothing worse than regret, and if you decide to end the relationship without serious counsuling or prayer (if you're religious) that you may wind up regreting leaving the man whose stood by you all those years. And 9 is a big number, so unless you've been lying to yourself and him for that long, you're marriage deserves a lengthy examination.
839499
I think you already know what you have to do.  You have to confront him.  It's scary because he might admit to cheating, but then you will know what needs to be fixed.  If you don't talk to him this will eat away at you and your marriage, and worst of all that will affect your kids.  Don't mention the evidence at first.  Just ask him if he has been cheating.  Then if he denies cheating, bring up the things you found.  This will leave him no time to think abou the answer.\n\nOn a personal note:  I wish you the best of luck.  I hope he isn't cheating, for everyone's sake.
489056
Hi, My X use to do the same exact things! I know exactly what it feels like, unfortunately the last few lies I found out were from my children. He was hangin around with a white trash piece of shit that was his sisters friend. He swore up and down they were just friends, come to find out he had been seeing her off and on for about 12 years! I was married to this asshole for 17 of them! Please please... Listen to your heart, especially with his track record.. make sure for yourself and I hope its not true, but that there isn't another woman! I don't know how I didn't find out sooner. I guess the kids were younger..not sure.. But the things you were saying is just how it was with us.. and he didn't even care when we didn't talk I think he actually enjoyed it because there was less to cover up if I wasn't asking him questions! But please keep your eyes and ears open, and I hope you find nothing but just in case hun.. take it from someone who has been there. Take care good luck and if anything changes please keep me informed or if u need another woman to talk to email or im me anytime! Good luck & be strong! Kim
223298
Tell him most people have regrets in life - his are probably worse than most people's.  But, it is not healthy to dwell on past history.  No purpose is served.
833136
I am. It's because his mother comes first, then the kids, then me. He says terrible things to me that hurt my feelings and isn't sorry. We've been through marriage counseling twice. His mother interferes in our marriage and if I say anything, he gets defensive. He tells her, then she gets mad. She's trying to turn him against me.