How do you feel divorce affects children under the age of 7?
598333
deeply\nwent through this in my 1st marriage\nthe daughter was 8\nfor many years she felt abandoned\nin spite of the fact I tried to keep in touch\neven taking her places from time to time on weekends\nbut it did not help that when she missed my call\nmy wife never told her I called\nthen after a long dry spell\nshe would tell the kid that I did not love her\nit did not help too much when later on the mother confesses\nto go or stay is a big decision\nmy marriage was not all bad every year\nbut mostly for 20 years we did not get along\ntowards the end I was moving out about every 6 months\nthe strain became more than I was willing to take\nwould the kids have been better off if I had stayed\nwho knows\nthe climate was not too good\nbut leaving maybe only brought me some peace?\nb-4 she died we became friends again\n& both cryed when she knew she was soon to die from cancer\nin the mean time I was invited to all family functions & never missed a one\nbut it took a long time for the kids to forgive me
416505
If they are constantly fighting or even if there is just constant tension then that's worse for the kids in the long run.\n\nIf they are happier apart then it will be better in the long run for the kids. I just wish people would think more seriously about the state of their relationships before leaping into having children.
137877
If you are asking this question, chances are much better than not that you aren't in love with him anymore. While I don't think divorce helps kids in the least bit, sometimes staying married "for the kids" does more harm than a divorce would.\n\nYou have to decide for yourself and for your family which is truly in everyone concerned's best interest. Don't count yourself out. If you want to make a go at it, then get counseling, talk, do what you have to.\n\nIf it's time to go.. then it's time to go. Don't be afraid to fight for what is fair... just really look at what is important and try to keep the proceedings as amicable as possible.\n\nGood luck, it won't be easy but I am sure you can do it.
396411
I know how you feel.  My son chose to stay with his dad after my divorce.  I have our daughter.  The distance is near 1000 miles so, I am not able to see him much.  I do call him every weekend and see him at least 4 times a year.  It is still not enough and I am frustrated since I am unable to do anything about this.  (Work, money, ect...)  My son knows that I love and miss him so much.  It hurts.
1160025
http://www.divorcetoday.com/dt_NYdivorceLaw.html\n\nHave a look at that link.  Page down until you get information about children.  Good luck!
1071850
Separations are never easy (as I very well know)...Give yourself and your child time!!\n\nTalk to your child, and let your child know he/she is loved by 'both' of you.. and if need be, reassure him/her that it is not his/her fault you broke up!! (as some may think/ feel this way).\n\nYou have left your partner for I have no doubt good reason: but he/she has in their eyes lost a daddy, and is going through a grieving process of their own, which takes time to come to grips with.  \n\nHopefully daddy will still be around, and be able and willing to play a part in his child's life ... and if like my ex-partner and myself, maybe you two will be able to put the past behind and become 'friends' for real, or for the sake of your child in time, and then he/she will have the best of both worlds!!\n\nIts a difficult one, and my heart goes out to you.
681521
I am 62 years old and my children are well settled. I sit alone and recollect all things happent in my life right from my age of 6. I feel for all bad things I did and repent for them.
272144
I feel the only good reason for a divorce is for the welfare of the children.  Too many people stay together FOR the kids and they r the ones who suffer.  Sooooo divorce FOR the childrens sake!
384893
In most states they are concerned about "The good of the child" If your children are upset about not seeing their brother you should check with a lawyer. If they spent six years together I can see that this could affect the psychological growth of the 11 yr old. When do you see the 11year old? Couldn't the other siblings see him then.
218381
DEPENDS ON HOW YOUNG.  OF COURSE A BABY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON.  MY DAUGHTER WAS 3, SHE DID GREAT!  MUCH BETTER THAN I DID.  IF THEY ARE SCHOOL AGE I THINK IT'S EVEN EASIER BECAUSE SO MANY OF THEIR FRIENDS ARE FROM BROKEN MARRAGES, WHICH IS A SHAME IF YOU THINK ABOUT IT.  I PERSONALLY BELIEVE IN STAYING MARRIED BUT THAT'S IN A PERFECT WORLK AND AS YOU KNOW THIS IS NOT WHAT WE LIVE IN.
601952
Had 2 kids, very tough, loved her when we divorced. Partied to much, had no idea what I was getting into (with kids). Wish the divorce had never happened and it took 17 years to get back to where I could finally have a relationship and feel good. It is not fun, not like the movie stars! It is very painful and be very careful and ready when you marry. It is a great thing to have a great partner.
259884
When my daughter wakes up and starts playing with her toys, gets her mother to run behind her to make her eat. Sleeps peacefully on her father's shoulders...\n\nWish I was a kid like her with no worries and no deadlines <sigh>\n\nBut then I feel sad that within a year or two she will start the tiring journey called Study-Work-Pay life......\n\nWish we remained as Cave-men... <sigh> \n\n.:Fishie:.
543876
I feel very sad about this as a child needs a secure environment to grow which i dont think unmarried parents can justify. i want my kids to grow in  a safe n secure family as environment surely affects a child's psychology. Children are a God given assignment to parents.Its our duty to give them all the love they deserve n i feel that only commited parents can ever justify that.So what i think is that people should get married and then only have children. its good for both kids n their parents.I had a happy childhood only coz my parents were married.It counts a lot.\n\n\nWhy do u people who answered associate marriage with bitterness n hatred that would ultimately lead to divorce??
464203
Hey, you know, I am kind of in the same boat as you are, except for I have pretty much gone through having to hear my ex-husband cry to me every single time that I spoke with him to let me know how much is missed me.  I have two young boys with him, and believe me, it has been really hard, but thanks to my dear boyfriend who I now love a lot I have made it through.  I have been thinking about living with my boyfriend too, as my divorce will be in June, but it seems like I can't wait that long.  I don't know, but I just know that women seem to want things done much quicker and we don't like to wait to get what we want.  I would say to do what your heart tells you to do.
1017931
I've been there. \n\nDon't abandon your children. If you really are the better parent, get custody and cut her out of your lives as much as you can. \nRetribution will never work. She is the mother of your children, any retribution against her is retribution against them. No matter how old a person is, thier mother is still part of them, and they are still a part of her.\n\nLosing the house sucks, but , Dude, it's a house. Just a place. the memories of it are in you. In your heart and mind. She can't touch that. \n\nBest advice I can give.... Don't expect to get over it. Divorce is like death only worse.  The person you gave your heart and life to is dead, and some other evil warped person has taken thier place. Like Night of the Living Dead or something. How can anyone ever get over that?  That pain will probably never go away. \n\nThe good bit is that eventually you will learn to cope with it.\n\nBelieve me, you are not alone in your pain. There are sooo many of us out there sufferring the same way you are. \nIt make me wonder sometimes how anything so simple sounding as "divorce" can wreck so many lives.
1066783
Ouch.  Sorry to hear.  Age doesn't make your parent's divorce much easier.  Things will be difficult, but try to stay neutral and take it one day at a time.  Give yourself permission to be hurt, disappointed, mad, etc.
106579
I had a classmate who was told on the telephone that her parents were divorcing. I have never seen anybody who looked as pained as she did. Their teen years are times when people have to deal with the very issues that divorce raises. They have self esteem issues.\n\nIf their parents' marriage was a mistake, are they themselves-a product of that marriage a mistake?. If their parents stop loving each other, will they stop loving their child? The parents didn't love the child enough to stay together for his/her sake. These teen years are the times when a child is supposed to question the values they have grown up with, decide whether they have been taught correctly and formulate their own code of behavior. What are they to do when the parents themselves are not faithful to ethics what they have taught the child?\n\nThese are years when the child is supposed to separate from the parents emotionally and become his/her own person. In rebelling against the parental authority, have they themselves caused a problem in the home that brought about the divorce? Is it the child's fault? Do they dare continue the process of separating from the parent? Or can they dare to continue to depend on either parent at all and would it be safer to cut all ties emotionally and not feel anything. Which parent are they to be loyal to? Which parent are they to remain emotionally attached to? Who is at fault? Why did this happen? Can they do anything to get the parents back together again? If the child indulges in self destructive behavior, will someone pay attention to him/her or are the parents interested only in themselves or in new lovers or new families?