what emotional effects does losing a parent have teenagers?
604946
I technically lost my father when I was 17.  He did not die but due to a major accident he does have such severe brain damage he has the mental capacity of a 5 year old.  He can more or less operate, but has no idea who I am and is prone to severe tempertantrums, seizures, and fits of throwing up.  He has to eat through a tube in his stomach because the accident paralyzed most of his face and throat.\n\nI know for me, it was hard to see him there and know it really wasn't him.  I wanted to be angry at him, but the man I wanted to be angry with was little more than a shell of the one who had raised me.  I wanted to cry, but my dad had always been the one to give me a shoulder.  When I tried to touch him he yelled at me because I had taken away his book earlier.  I was the bad guy at the moment.  It was a complete role reversal that I almost couldn't handle.  I felt wierd having to discipline my own father for back talking me when I told him to hold still so I could change his feeding tube out.  In essence my dad was dead and all that was left was a child to be taken care of.\n\nI cried often then, and could not talk about it.  When asked I changed the subject or simply remained quiet.  I'm 21 now and my dad currently lives in FL with his mom.  I don't have to take care of him anymore, but it was still hard to, after having been a daddy's girl all my life, walk down the aisle on my wedding day alone, because my daddy didn't know he even had a daughter anymore.  And I dreaded it since I was 17, knowing that all the things promised me by society had been stripped away, leaving me to improvise. Things like being walked down the aisle.  Snapping picture after annoying picture at my high school graduation.  Helping me move into the dorms at college and giving every male on campus the "touch her and die" look. Spoiling my children (which we've yet to have) and sending them home hyped on sugar.  I missed and will miss out on those things and I knew it from the time of my dad's accident.  It was hard, in a little way, to deal with those events without my dad there, as I'd always imagined, and perhaps taken for granted that he would be.  \n\nAt the time of my dad's accident it was simply something to take care of.  It wasn't until everything WAS taken care of that the things I had really lost set in, and began to hurt.
480165
i wouldn't recommend putting pics of teens who have committed suicide.  but, grieving parents, tombstones, um, maybe a knife, gun, rope, etc.  There's a foundation to help overcome suicide, yellow ribbon (or something like that), that might be something to consider.  i put a great pic website in the source box thingy.  it has some really cool stuff.
835930
Vacation with parents.  No question.  My father is dead.  My mother has alzhiemers.  After my father had died I would take my mother with us on vacation for a number of years.  She loved it.  I miss them both very much.  I feel sorry for people who don't get along well with their parents.  When they are gone, they are gone forever.
671459
Your parents and close friends.  How your mother/father sees themselves.  Its all learning by example.
136886
COULD BE TO MANY PROBLEMS AND NOT ENOUGH SUPPORT AT HOME FROM THE PARENTS, AND TEENS ARE JUST REACTING ON PAIN INSTEAD OF REACTING THE THE GUIDENCE AND LOVE THEY NEED
242933
It all really depends on the dynamics of the household, and why it is being done. I can say that there was a time when I would of never considered it. My husbands parents came home from a mission three weeks after I gave birth to my sixth child and three months after the death of my oldest daughter. I was dreading the thought of them staying with us. We had had our differences and believe me they had some bad ramifications, but I was the only one who was willing to take them in. It ended up being the best thing in the world. It was very good for my husband who was going through his own grief over our daughters death, plus his concern over his depressed and slightly suicideal wife. To have some back up and support since I was just trying to survive. We had them with us for two years and they were a blessing in so many ways. I will never be able to express the joy in watching my children bond with their grandparents and having the opportunity to see them grow. It did take alot of sacrifice for all. It is not easy to live with parents who have opinions and things that you don't always agree on, but I really got the chance to see what I think will be the mode of Heaven. I can say with all honesty that it was wonderful and that I miss them. The one thing that I think though is it is tougher when you're younger and first married. That is a time when you really should try to avoid it. It is a time for developing your relationship and forming that bond that can endure., and marriage at first is difficult enough without a mother-in-law thinking that this girl is just not good enough for my son syndrome.
310711
Depression,being lonely,or something much worse!! It is hard for teens not to have friends,they have no one to turn to for support or comfort!! There parents aren't the same as a friend that they can tell anything to!!
969534
Know that as time passes by the pain will lesson. You always feel the void and nothing will fill its place but the pain is lessened with time. Allow grief to be. Allow memories to flow. Remembering can hurt but also help you heal. Talking about your parent will hurt also but will help you to keep their memory vivid. Don,t fear your emotions but know that they are normal. Keep yourself busy because when its somethings that's hurting you too much thinking time can be harmful. Remember that you are not alone in this emotion.
106579
I had a classmate who was told on the telephone that her parents were divorcing. I have never seen anybody who looked as pained as she did. Their teen years are times when people have to deal with the very issues that divorce raises. They have self esteem issues.\n\nIf their parents' marriage was a mistake, are they themselves-a product of that marriage a mistake?. If their parents stop loving each other, will they stop loving their child? The parents didn't love the child enough to stay together for his/her sake. These teen years are the times when a child is supposed to question the values they have grown up with, decide whether they have been taught correctly and formulate their own code of behavior. What are they to do when the parents themselves are not faithful to ethics what they have taught the child?\n\nThese are years when the child is supposed to separate from the parents emotionally and become his/her own person. In rebelling against the parental authority, have they themselves caused a problem in the home that brought about the divorce? Is it the child's fault? Do they dare continue the process of separating from the parent? Or can they dare to continue to depend on either parent at all and would it be safer to cut all ties emotionally and not feel anything. Which parent are they to be loyal to? Which parent are they to remain emotionally attached to? Who is at fault? Why did this happen? Can they do anything to get the parents back together again? If the child indulges in self destructive behavior, will someone pay attention to him/her or are the parents interested only in themselves or in new lovers or new families?
1173374
Sure, they have their version of love.  Their emotions are real.  But, that does not mean that they are lasting feelings or that they should be acted on.  Teenagers have a ton of things going on in their lives and emotions can be amplified by hormones and a feeling of being needed and accepted.  While this doesn't mean we should discount teenage emotions, it also doesn't mean that they are always as they seem.
1095570
The kids can sense the tension. And while it will hurt them for awhile if their parents split in the long run it will be better for them. My parents stayed together for me. But I knew they weren't happy. It tore me apart inside.
286180
Immediately yes!! But tread lightly! Losing a parent is very difficult. You've got to plan the funereal, find out where the parent was financially, and if there was Life Insurance, and of course, the estate. I lost my dad about a year and a half ago and still grieve his loss!
145181
Oh, I'm so sorry to hear about your Mom, but I think your response to honor her memory is awesome. Yes, it's quite normal, even after all the years have gone by. I just lost my Dad last month and I feel that he touched my life like nobody else ever could. I hope to feel that same way forever too. Memories are meant to cherish. Your Mom was lucky to have a devoted daughter like you. I think when we lose a parent it's a gap that no one else can ever fill. And it's important to pass along those memories and traditions to our children.
248255
I never felt that with a parent but I lost a uncle that was like a fater to me. I just think of all the good things that he was all about. Like his laugh and smile. The pain will always be there but over time you will grow stronger and it will still hurt that she is gone but know this she is in a better place. You must keep going to give the love that she gave you on to the people you love. God Bless You and look over you and your family in your time of need.
491150
This is called anticipatory grief. You realize that you will be losing him some day and you are already trying to cope with the impending reality. This is just one way people cope. Others only grieve after the loss of a person.  As you hinted, you don't want your anticipatory grief to interfere with enjoying him while he is with you now. Knowing that and feeling that are two different things. Do the things that are good for your relationship with him now and feel free to feel your feelings (don't suppress them or be afraid of them) because this is your way of coping. Once you take the taboo off of your feelings and still do the things that make for a full and satisfying relationship with your father in the present, your feelings should start to lessen in intensity.
932675
Sorry to hear that, sweetie.  Maybe you should find another adult to talk to that will LISTEN to you and be there for you.  Parents sometimes get so self absorbed that they lose touch with their teens and think that the teen just wants independence and no longer needs guidance.  You really should point this out to your parents and let them know how you feel.  They just might not realize how much you truly need them.  Hope this gets better for ya!
418774
Congratulations on your strong spirit. You should know you've crossed a great distance to being an adult, and rightly so.\n\nI lost my dad when I was 14, and it was hard. Real hard. However, in your case, you have no one of your parents left to comfort you anymore. Just knowing that is your first step into being a real human. God is testing you, and He will make it up for you, if not in this life, well, that's why we believe in Him.\n\nNo one can say anything to make you feel better. Many will try though, but look around, what about the maimed victims of war who lost their entire families? What about millions of poor individuals who know someday they're going to die a slow death, and that day isn't far away? God is testing them as well, believe me, the only thing that can help you is faith, faith in God, and in yourself.\n\nBe strong, and know you are not alone. Focus on your studies, and every time your eyes fill with tears from memories, let it be. Strong men also cry. It only makes them stronger.\n\nRegards,