i'm young & recently lost my dad. Iam questioning my career/life. Will this pass? should i make a change?
600217
Never keep a job that is unfulfilling.
764067
It is a sad thing to loose a parent.  It leave a mark on you and a pain that you really never get over.  I happen to be a funeral director and when I lost my parents, I went through the exact same thing.  I know it is of no comfort to you, but as time goes by, you will find that other things in your life keep you occupied.  You will never forget her, but in time God works a miracle in which the sharp pain associated with your loss gets a little less and you can reflect upon the joyous and happy times with a feeling of love and appreciation.  I know you probably find this hard to believe, and so did I, but it does happen.  My father died in 1987 and my mother in 1999, and at times is seems like it was only yesterday.  I hope you are able to find peace and understanding very soon.
501000
There is no amount you can personally put on your fathers life. The government and businesses can trust me rather easily. But for you there is no amount of money no amount of memories that can bring him back the way he was before all of this. You can gain finances from it, but I will tell you already that it will not do for you or for your family what you are probably looking for. Trust me I know the feelings on this, because I have had so many personal family deaths in my life. There is no amount that will or ever will be enough to ease any pain from your fathers death. I feel really bad for you and I know how hard you must be hurting so please if you ever need to just talk to someone write back on here and i will email you.
354089
You do have a void in your life. You miss the parents you wish you had. My father passed away more than twenty years go when i was a little girl and i still am having a hard time with it. I don't remember conversations and never got to know him. I miss what i could of had. There is no real getting over it. It's more of accepting the way things are. I know i can't bring him back and it sucks. One thing i read recently i wish i could remember where. The article was about making a patch work quilt in your mind with the people in your life that have the qualities that you would want in a mother or father. Say you have a friend who is really good at listening, that can be a piece of what a mom is to you. Someone else in your life who encourages you is another part of what a mom is to you and slowly you piece together a mother. Instead of getting all of a mom in one person many people end up fill the void that is empty. It will never be the same as the real thing but that is where acceptance is a huge part of learning to cope. You will always miss them and wonder what life would be like with them. I wish i had a better answer for you. Sincerely,if during my journey in finding acceptance with my fathers death i learn something better i will let you know.
723774
got this one - my dad died when i was a kid too. tell him you noticed. hell be flattered that youre paying that much attention.  then be straight with him.  tell him you dont know how to help, but youd like to.  hell tell you what he needs.  its a big deal to have someone pay that much attention.  i was just the same.  its easier to have someone admit they dont know quite what to do then have them try to pity you or ignore it.  this is really an "its the thought that counts" situation.  good luck.  \nalso, you really rock. no one was there for me- i got shipped of to military school.  this guys lucky to have your attention.
867348
your career doesn't define who you are.  maybe who you are is restless.  working and careers aren't for everyone, although society places a high priority on them, especially for a 40 yr old.  Try to figure out who you are in other ways, meaning hobbies and what you have to offer to the world
449178
I lost my father 5 years ago and there is never a single day that I do not think about him.\nAt first I was devasted and wondering how I would get over it.\nThen someone who had been through the same experience gave me these simple words of wisdom: "You never get over it. You just get used to it".\nNow I can talk about my dad and nrelate funny or special moments we shared when I was growing up, and it doesn't bother me. In fact, it is quite therapeutic.\nI feel for you and KNOW that things will get easier.Good luck. Kevin UK.
649688
Please seek some professional help or help from your church.  My good friend did the same thing when her dad died suddenly.  It's been 10 years and I swear she is stuck in a grieving time warp.  She still cries about it today like she did 10 years ago.  She never sought any kind of help or even medication.  You really need someone who can guide you through the grieving process.
353303
I'm 23 and my mum passed away on April 15th from Cancer, we had no idea how serious her condition was until a couple of days before, and she was only diagnosed in January. Plus to top it all off, I'm getting married next weekend (2 days after what would have been her 51st birthday) and I'm finding it very hard to come to terms with the fact that she won't be there. \n\nIt's been so hard and I've had so many mixed feelings of guilt, regret, sadness and loneliness, but I think the key is talking to people and don't bottle it up or it will make you ill. \n\nI've had a lengthy conversation with my dad which has helped me loads and the silly thing is we're closer now than we ever have been. \n\nWhat you need to remember is time heals all wounds, and although I will find my wedding incredibly difficult, I know she would have wanted it to be the happiest day of my life and I'm sure she'll be there in spirit. \n\nI hope this has helped, especially to let you know there are others feeling the same feelings you are - just remember you're not alone and your father will always be watching over you.
687070
you don't say how old you are now, not that it matters.  However, I would suggest additional counseling for it seems to me that you still have unresolved grief.\n\nI am deeply sorry for your tremendous loss and hope that one day while you may never be able to forget, you can at least find peace.
1013722
Probably you, but for different reasons.\nKnow this, that you can overcome this pain. It does not seem it now, but there is nothing that you can't handle. Get out in the sun, keep your life going, as any parent would want this. talk to your dad, tell him how happy you were today, but you can still tell him that your sad about his condition. If I were in your shoes, I might tell my dad that I am going to accept what has happened, as there is nothing I can do about it, and I am going to make the best of the situation by being happy,for his sake and your's,  and talking with him. Life through us a curve-ball, but I am throwing it back and showing my strength. My dad would be proud of me for that, and your's will, too. Keep talking to him, and show him that you can make the best of this that you possibly can.
277579
Honey, I'm so sorry.  It all depends on if they work things out between them, but the truth is they may not even know at this time.  Please don't think it's your fault.  Adults have a lot of issues to deal with.  I'm sure your Dad loves you and misses you very much.  Include them in your prayers. I will too.
86628
First of all, your life is not meaningless.  Even if your father has changed, try to talk with him.  Mend any old wounds because you only have one set of parents and one life.
854669
Yeah, I understand, hon.  It's tough to lose a dad. I lost my dad when I was 24, and it wasn't easy for me either.  Was your dad ill, or was his death sudden?  We don't know why God chooses his special people to be with Him, but know that wherever he is, your dad is watching over you, protecting you from harm, and loving you.  Meantime, talk things over with your mom, and your brothers and sisters if you have any, or even your friends.  Talking about the good times you had with your dad really helps.  In time, the pain will be a lot less, and you'll just be left with good memories.  My thoughts and prayers are with you.  Good luck and God Bless!
1113900
You are grieving over the fact that you are not perfect, and your life is not perfect.  Soon you you will be in a position to see this yourself.  Accept yourself as not perfect and your parents, and your friends.  Stop grieving over what you can not do and start focusing on what you can do.  It sounds to me like you could do a great deal.  Counseling can help you reach this point.
541822
I'm so sorry that you feel that way, if it is indeed you that you are speaking of. I went through that when I was younger. I wish that there was something that I could tell you - I wish that I could map out all the things that finally brought me out of it, but it's just not that simple. I'm in another kind of depression now - in grieving for my father, and it's so different from my previous experience with depression in a good way. This time, it's a natural and almost calm kind of depression. The mind is a powerful thing. \n\nA doctor can try to diagnose and treat the mind, but in the end, the workings of the mind are still largely a mystery. \n\nI can tell you that you must remain strong and believe that in time, things will change. I remember thinking that when I was depressed as a teen and being scared, because I didn't know how long it would take. Nevertheless, if you keep trying and you keep looking, you will be brought through safely to the other side of the forest. \n\nIf there's anything in your life that you can change for the better, then that's another thing I advise. If you have a job that is stressing you out, for example, consider if it might be worth it to find another. \n\nKeep up with your doctors, and if you haven't already, try a different medication. Just remember that there's only so much they can do for you. I used to rely so heavily on them to "save" me, but I only found more depression in that and some disappointment, too. If you haven't been to an actual counselor, please consider doing that. I found counseling to be much more effective than my doc and his prescriptions. You may have to really search for a counselor that "fits" you. Don't be afraid to let them know what you want to get out of the counseling - I found that creative things helped me the most. That meant drawing my feelings, writing letters to those who hurt me, and things like that - then I would share those things with my counselor and we would discuss them.\n\nA few things that sound cliche, but do work are exercise, forcing yourself to go out with friends and have fun, treating yourself, any active thing that will give you some kind of fun. It'll be hard to get yourself going at first, but after a little while, you'll find yourself laughing again, even if it's just for that day.\n\nI also agree that you need to identify the source of your pain in life and think about how it's making your mind work. Even a chemical imbalance is accompanied and compacted by environmental factors. Read up on psychology and philosphy. (I think you may do that already, though). Both subjects can give you insight into yourself. \n\nOne thing I realized and held onto was that the only person I can control is myself. I can only do what can be done today, then I must be happy that I've done my best and start all over tomorrow. \n\nIf it is you that you are speaking of, then please don't hesitate to IM me whenever you like.
121050
Listen, be there for him. I just lost my dad, and the best thing for me is to keep busy. Try to get him back into his routines. Too much time on your hands makes you think too much, although he does have to grieve in his own way.  It would be nice for him to have some of his friends visit or call. Just make sure he doesn't withdraw too much. You sound like a good friend. I hope this helps.