my wife didnt tell me b4 marriage tht she drinks/smokes & had BF for many years.Hasnt she cheated me? wt i do?
596837
You bet she did, before and after your engagement. But she should have told you everything! I'm surprised she didn't at least tell you about the two filthy habbits. YOu should demand why?!.
793683
Dear Omar,\nAm sorry to hear about your wife. It must really be tuff to hold out like you have. In my opinion, I dont think she would damn you for taking on a female friend. I realize it gets lonely especially for a guy. I empathize with you.  You know, I understand you want to stay faithful and probably have thought, what if it was me. Well, my friend, you ARE being faithful, as far as I know. Only God is the judge of what you do. And God knows your heart, whether you are being malicious or not. I don't believe he wants you to be with out companionship. Now sex is another story. You will be taking on alot of guilt because you are not free of your wife in your mind or heart.And suppose you get so involved you fall in love with this person. Then what? Do you chuck your wife and go with her? It is such a fine line as to what to do in this case. I mean what do the docs say about your wife? Is she brain dead? Is she losing body mass by laying? Is she deteriating, What? I say, just be careful not to add additional problems to your life that you may not be able to handle. Choose someone that clearly understands the situation and keep it plotonic(yeah right, huh?). Its nice to know you have someone to talk to and go to dinner and have conversation with, right? To go for walks and the movies. I know what you are talking about. So really you have to make that call and when you do make sure you have a clear conscience.
458071
how do u know this friend will not cheat on u ?\ndo u trust her as much as ur wife ?\nAnswer these questions then follow ur heart.\n\nbut my opinion talk to ur wife. she loves u and will do anything to make u happy.\nTrust Me!
255395
I've been there.I've been married three times.Why?Because I cheated on my husband(s)and felt guilty!Tell your wife and let her decide what you should do.She will probably divorce you then you can do what you want.If you cheat again you will start that vicious cycle all over. Don't cheat!
938347
I'm assuming that you mean you're married to a lady. You can't be both gay and heterosexually married at the same time. You're going to hurt not only yourself but your wife and children in the process. You could be Bi, but I would advise coming out and telling your wife. Lying to her and yourseflf is no way to keep a relationship. It'll all out itself eventually and I would advise doing it before she finds out from someone else. I've been married for 26 years to a wonderful lady and have found out through my own detrement that lying in a serious relationship does nothing but harm to both partys. I never cheated but I played hell with the finances...sigh.....Good luck.
1027627
Wuss! wha happened to good and bad times!\n\nDo youhave the capacity to love and work your way through this like a man or are you a coward that will run away!\n\nIF she did not commit adultery and betray you you should honor yor vow and stick it out!!!1
135946
Joe, I can relate to your situation. My husband is in work release and right now he is accusing me of the exact same thing. Just when I think that we have gotten past this something else pops up and we start this mess all over again. Are you positive that there is an affair going on? Speak to your wife in a loving tone and really let her know that this is bothering you. Let her also know that you won't stand for any lies. If she is unfaithful then the pressure of you being nice is going to make her feel guilty that she will admit to her wrong. Just so you know, I have never ever cheated on my husband and I wouldn't ever because of the love and the respect that I have for him and myself. Marriage is a give and take and both husbands and wives need to do this more and more. Good luck and may God bless you through this journey.
590741
i dont think it's cheating too\naccording to your story, you didnt do it on purpose, even if you were a bit over the line, but still i believe it was the alcohol effect =)\nif your boyfriend is understanding and open-minded about this issue, tell him asap before he hears it from someone else and tell him that you're sorry\ngood luck =)
981595
sorry to hear that both of you started the relationship on deceptive terms.  she's being a hipocrit.  and I know you say you love her, but why would you want to be with someone that has cheated and lies.  trust is the foundation of any relationship, without that you have nothing.  you will be in the relationship always having questions about this that or the other.  to much stress and not being happy.  keep looking for something better.  good luck
117478
I would need to know why she had an affair...what did she feel was missing with you and her.  Woman who cheat usually do so because something is missing. If you can fin d that out and correct it it wsill be easier for her not to cheat again....then for that special date...depending on what you find out...add whatever it is to the date and keep doing it.
615166
maybe nothing did happen...but..sitting and thinking about it  .. guys are pigs women are bitches..so go with your gut cuz wondering about it will drive you mental.. and sometimes even worse than catching them in the act.. move on.. there is a trust issue as well.. you have to ask yourself .. 4 hours??? and if you did the same what would she say??? tell the wife she should know
361555
How old are you? your question irk me! Please answer this, Are you the best for her? If you can't even convinced your heart, how would you be a good man for this woman? she needs more than your "doubts". It's not just your marriage you're talking about, it's her's too, and tell you what, she might have that very same doubt about you! imagine why the so-called strange words (as you said)! Grow up!
258998
Hey man I know where you are coming from. My wife just told me that cheated on me with another man about 2 months ago. I went nutts, but not too bad. Luckily she told me at our preachers house. After she told me I did not know what to do. Because in the bible it states that that is the only reason for divorce. I sat down and talked with her and the preacher. We agreed that we would stay together. I wanted to leave her but then I didn't. I love her so much, and not only because we have kids. I am still having a hard time getting over it. Like I said it has already been 2 months since she told me and I still can not sleep nor trust her. There are still times when I want to leave but I can't because I love her too much. Also you don't want to go out and do the same thing she did. It won't do any good, except have a burden on your shoulders. Just hang in there man. Pray about it and see what God wants you to do. God Bless!
632878
I have been married 27 years going on 28.  Ihave never cheated ad never will since my wife is my best friend and soulmate.  It may sound old fasioned but it works for us.
338957
hey, the same thing kinda happened to me! except, he never wanted her sexually...but i was friends with her (probably during a time when she dated him), way before i ever met him...we lived in different countries, so i think she may have dated him after i met her...anyway, she used to come over and hang out all the time after he and i got married...they're just old buddies and well, what they used to have is now long gone...\nso, if you feel that you can trust BOTH of them, why not?
575340
For your information, when two ppl are married, nothing should be hidden from the other mate. It is supposed to be an open book relationship. So if the wife finds something the husband has done, she has every right to look, snoop, or whatever, he can on her too. You must have never married or you would know that. The two shall become one.....so each mate has every right to see, know what the other one has done or is doing, that doesn't make one a snooping b_____. so get a life and grow up. You're still in your baby stage of life. Haven't you got anything better to do that bash women and call names....? take a long look at your life and where it's headed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
593507
I feel it was wrong for her not to tell you and now you feel trapped and lied to but the thing of the matter is ---which boils right down to you can you forgive her for lieing to you and if you are willing to continue to love her because if not then these problems will always exist in your relationship or marriage and I am a strong believer that you should not get married under false pretenses but if she has not shown any other signs of cheating or anything like that then you should give her the opportunity to prove herself to you and if you still want to wait to get married you dont have to rush into this you should want you marriage to be happy and joyous and loving=== dont get married because your families want you to get married because you love her yeah people make mistakes and I was also cheated on so I had to weigh my options of what would be best for me and  my children and I assume that you dont have any children so take your time and you talk to her about it a little more try to put yourself in her shoes try to understand what made her do it and why get a sense of understanding first and then you can make a rational decision on whether to leave or not \n\nhope things work out for you