how to move on after the marriage break-up in the conservative culture of the philippines?
597063
I don't believe filipinos are conservative..come and see in dubai..Not even 20%.\nNo wonder marraiges break up. My real sympathies. Not a critic. \nFirst all gals there have variety in your hair style and dressing..I can see all of you with wet hair in the morning and combing them with your fingers..looks like a herd of penguins at the edge of a glacier..the same ..the same..your guys would be tired yaar.
400257
get involved in things you love, hobbies, work.  realizing how much you love activities, and life.  try not to dwell and talk about it with friends.\nrealize the reasons behind the breakup and that "that is what was" then move on.
877553
forget about her and the ring , u r a married man now so act like it , put the past in the past
1012565
Amen to daveowenville!\n\nTread carefully when considering divorce. Are you still in another country? I don't know what Singapore's laws on marriage are like so you best get to studying up on those. Get to know what your legal options are. Can you really be sure that her sister was telling you the truth? Communication is really key. Look into what is going on and find out the facts before you make a big decision like this than "can" wreck lives.
252082
Sounds like my ex husband.  He found him a little filipino woman to fill that void and lost his check book because I took it, years of pain on both ends all because he was in need of his fill.  Think about what you are doing or about to do and think of what it means to you and her in the long run.  If all you can think of is yourself, then think of what it will mean to you in the long run.  Your wife is by your side, she loves you or wouldn't have stuck it out as long as she has without you there.  You must love her, or you wouldn't have asked this question.  Or are you asking for permission to fool around on her?  Maybe you should ask yourself why are you in another country when the woman that you wanted by your side is not there?
727827
I agree with your husband and just move on
451722
People stay in relationships long after they do each other any good because by nature no one wants to be a quitter.  Especially as women we are nurturers and want to fix everything.  That takes cooperation though, you can try marriage counseling if he is willing to participate, breaking up a family is nothing to do lightly, but don't waste years trying to fix something that your partner has no interest in fixing either.  Move on and build a stable but separate existence for you and your children,(sharing custody) the courts will tell him how much child support to pay.
400708
Rekindle ANY previous relationship with friends or relatives that just kind of fell by the wayside... it's important to establish and/or maintain contact with others that you can or will feel comfortable with.\nIf all else fails, spend a LOT of time right here and ask for all the help you can handle- this is a great lace for real, true and helpful advice.
24542
I'm going through a similar situation. I left. Don't do that. You both need to decide if it's worth trying to get the closeness back. Be open about the things that you enjoy doing together and things you don't. Try and figure out how you two grew apart. And do it together. No matter how hard it is. If it's worth it, take the time to make it work. It wont happen on it's own.
980457
i say you go with the "Bush Doctrine" , and no not to throw your bush in his face...but go for the pre-emptive strike and talk to him about trying to fix it and make things better, new and exciting, before he waits for it to get boring enough to break up with you. \n\nsometimes people just want to wait and wait until they REALLY feel like it's over. attack first and ask him what "we" can do to renew the old flame, date again. have good sex. have fun. \n\ntalk....and now! (but carefully)
543287
I think it is difficult for you to let go because you have children from the relationship and land up meeting him. Assuming you want to move forward, do minimize your contact with him else it is difficult to let go of him. To answer your question, I believe you need both - soul searching and activities.\n\nWhen you close a relationship, we tend to think of the "could haves" "would haves" and "what if". If you are doing that, please stop yourself. To really move forward, you have to shutdown the past, and have to tell yourself "Life goes on" and believe in it and think forward. \n\nSoul searching is very important becoz it will help you identify what you are and what you need from your partner. It might even help you reason out why the previous relationship ended and help you come to terms with it. This knowledge about yourself will also give you peace of mind, mental strength and confidence in yourself to move forward.\n\nActivities are very important too in order to live your day to day life and put the past behind. Doing activities you like to do will help you relax and make you happy. It will also help you connect with people who like to do the same activities you like. Thus it will help build network of friends and possibly help you find the right person in your life.\n\nSo, soul searching is required to understand what you are and what you need from this point on. Activities are important to have fun and enjoy the present.\n\nAdditionally I would say: 1) Workout more often becoz it helps reduce stress and makes you feel positive. 2) Stay around people and friends that have positive energy/attitude - it will really help feel positive. 3) Yoga and Meditation really help a lot too.
26190
You know it is easy to forgivce than to forget. Trust is the main issue in the relationship and once its broken.. its hard to rebuild. BUT, I know someone back in my country. She did catch her husband in bed with her sister-in-law (her brother's wife) and totally crashed her. But there is a saying - LOVE IS LOVELIER THE SECOND TIME AROUND, and its true. They now have two more kids after that and yes the guy had changed. This is not for everybody though. He had to earn her trust back and he proved it to her that he is reformed. \n\nYou should have an honest, open heart talk with your partner. Good luck!
691637
*If you know he still loves you, then (assuming it was you who initially wanted the divorce) apologize. Tell him the feelings you still have for him, and ask him if he is willing to take you back, let him know you want his forgiveness. Having both a mother and father will be good and healthy for the children. It is not seperation anxiety, it is natural(and good) for you to desire to reunify with your husband. Cheap sexual encounters or other pseudo-relationships will not fill that pain/void in your life. If he agrees, it would be best to remarry him. There is no better way to start than genuine forgiveness.\n\n\n* this is assuming there was no abuse in the marriage\n\nFinally if it was his fault, it would be best to start by letting him know that you have forgiven him unconditionally. Nothing will kill an attempt at reigniting the fire than holding a grudge.\n\nEither way, honesty is best, bear your heart and tell him the truth, and you will have done your part. If he does not accept, it will be his loss. You will have done the right thing.
271830
The best way to do it is honestly and in the home.  Make sure your bags are already packed.  Start by saying something like "(Wife name) you're a great girl but I don't think we are right for each other.  I'm just so unhappy with this relationship, and I want to break it off before I do something stupid. You must have noticed I've not been happy and I can't bring you down because of my needs.  You're a great person and you deserve someone that will make you happy and I'm not that guy.  But I want to let you know that if you need someone to talk too or want to hang out, I'm still your friend and I'll always be there for you as a friend."  That way she will feel loved and supported. I beleive that she doesn't need to know about the affair right away since she would already be very hurt.  If you feel like you must tell her, tell her once you are living apart.  \n\nIt's good of you to leave her.  You aren't happy and everyone derserves to be happy.  The damage is already done so now you have to pick up the peices and rebuild.  \n\nShe will be hurt tho.  Understand that she will be shocked and confused.  So try to help her understand that this is good because this way she will find someone that will truely love her.\n\nLeaving is good, but I hope you aren't leaving her for the this new girl.  You should live on your own for a while to figure out what to do next.  You can still see this new girl but remember that when your married things can quickly go out of hand when you want a divorce.  Living on your own will appear that you need space and that's it's not because of another woman.  \n\nI hope this helps and I hope all three of you will be  very happy soon.
1133554
Whether or not you get a divorce, your marriage has been over for a long time. Your husband broke a trust, and your heart as well.\nWomen remain in marriages for financial security sometimes. If that is why you are still married, I understand. However, you do not love the man you are married to anymore. There is no "home" at your address. You family is NOT "together", even if they're in the same house.\nThe minute your husband broke your marriage contract by having an affair, you had no more moral obligation to remain in the contract. \nSome women (like Jackie Kennedy) do not mind a philandering husband. You are not one of those women. \nYou could give him the benefit of the doubt. But, if you decide to do that, you need to tell him you can only stay married to him if he agrees to marriage counseling. Tell him you have tried to forgive and forget but that his old patterns are resurfacing and you are insecure because of the past.\nYou will know, probably, by his reaction to your confrontation, whether he wants a marriage or not.\nIt does get better. The future is brighter. I wish you the best of luck.
363440
first of all congradulations on your divorce-i am divorced too-when it's not the right one it sure feels good to be free-get involved in your community-i feel this is the best way to meet decent people-community theatreor go to local chamber of commerce or city hall and check out their events calander-get involved in something you enjoy-not only will you meet people but you will be doing good things for the community too-
218581
Honey, I know how that hurts. It happened to me with my marriage. I ended up divorced. It does no good to try to pick up the pieces with someone who no longer loves you. You need to just let her go. I know how hard it is but you do get over it in time. Give yourself some time to heal and then think about dating again. It won't be easy but you'll get through it day by day. God will help you and so will we. You can always find a friend here on YA. If you need to talk, my email is on my profile. You're in my prayers, Sweetie. God speed.