do i need to leave a man that is controling after 13 yrs realationship and 3 kids?
602769
if he is controlling you need to leave. It is not good for you and  not good for the 3 kids.
856584
This is just about the most serious flaw that a relationship can have. You are at that uncomfortable point where you are about to realize that three years of your life has passed and that you can not afford to give this man more of your life if he is not committed to a future with you that includes children. Sure, it is easy for all of us to push kids off into the future but now the time to put up or shut up has arrived for your relationship. A word of warning to you. Having children is the most rewarding of all life's gifts but it is the biggest commitment that you will ever make and you can not go into it with a man who is not happy, hopeful, and excited about the prospects of being a father. You need to talk to him and see what he thinks... I believe that you are ready to move on and he needs to know this. I was living with a great woman for almost two years, two weeks before our third Christmas together we had a talk about our future, kids, faith... the whole nine yards. After a two hour talk we ended it... peacefully and very fast. I moved out before the new year. Sometimes you realize in your heart and your mind that the person that you are with is not the one you are going to end up with... we both came to that conclusion. You need to make a choice too. I have been married now for five years and have two great kids- I hope your choice works out for you as well.
899349
Let the slug go.  Why do you want a man who has no character, who would leave his children behind for a new squeeze?  \n\nFile for full custody of the kids and file for child support.  Get tough.
296010
Perhaps you can talk to him and see what you can sort out. It would certainly be better if he could tell you earlier so you can make plans for them. It will be an ongoing issue for your relationship so you need to sort things out both with your kids and his kids. You want to avoid having a situation where he perceives that you are asking him to choose between you and his kids.
443442
If he doesn't want to be with her she should understand that and be a woman, she should also stop using there kids as a crutch he can be with you and his children without sacrificing or neglecting anyone it will just take some hard work and time on both parts. but seeing both parents aren't adults it will be considerably hard. goodluck.
970600
"I just dont want to be around them or any kids for that matter on a regular basis. "= your man has 3 kids. you are with the wrong person if you do not like kids "85 percent of the time".
459147
yes im with one but it shouldnt matter whether hes got kids or not as long as he loves you and loves kids and doesnt put his own needs before your kids. good luck
1036692
the fact that your husband is that controlling is kind of scary i must say....what happens if you leave the house anyway? i mean are you scared of him?   ......that is disturbing....you should go and do what is healthy for you and your baby....**** your husband if he is endanging the health of you and your baby
1167222
I spent 10 years with my first love who did NOTHING but accuse me of cheating. Even after two kids and finalizing my faithfullness with MARRIAGE (which I regreat every day of my existance) YOU dont have to do a DAMN thing to prove that you are what you are, faithfull and a proud mom. Look at how awesome you are with providing for your kids no matter what curve ball life throws your way. It took me to 6 years to stop my putting up with his claims and accusations that I finally dusted myself up one day and realized, (1)How the Hell am I going to keep on putting up with this and (2) why would I put my kids through this? They are such incredible sponges and you are their role in relationships, family and love. My last straw was relationship counseling, that brought out alot of hidden insecurities that I never knew he had as well as shed some light onto several of his accusations. He actually WAS cheating for awhile and guilt wouldnt let him life it down. After 2 months of "trying for the kids" I left. Me and the kids got our stuff together, I fought for full custody and I havent been happier in a long time. There is a sole mate out there for you and HE will FIND YOU, not that you have to force it to happen just because you had kids with the guy. That is the worst reasons. You are making it alone (emotionally, and financially) you can do it without the added pressure of his stupidity. I have all the faith and prayer in the world on your side and you can get through this. You wont be alone, You will be Happy and Stress Free With Your KIDS. They need you. How old is your youngest? How old is your oldest? Dont hesitate contacting me for questions or advice. My heart goes out to you. PrncssNiki@yahoo.com
679850
You should be honest with the person your with. Why can't you leave? Due to maoney or kids? Remember the kids will adjust and if for money it's not the most important thing in the world...
174064
Children of any age resent any "outside" interference from sources such as yourself in their lives.  They always consider that maybe, the parents will return to each other and they will be "one happy family" once again.  And, if by chance, your "man" was widowed, the kids think of you as the "Wicked Witch of the West" trying to replace their mom.  After 2 years, I would think you'd have a better hold on everything, but it appears maybe you and the "man" hasn't really sat down and discussed these matters for the future. But you state, its "your feelings toward the children" that you fear, not their feelings toward you?  Evidently, you can't accept the children and only want kids between you and your man.  Now that's a major problem and if I were you, and can afford it, I'd seek professional help on this matter.  And if you can't afford it, maybe the welfare people in your state might assist in financial matters?  I'd find out ASAP and get this problem either corrected in my own mind, or split with this guy knowing you will never accept his children as yours.
670095
Been there and done that .....   :( all i can say is do not let him manipulate u and i do not know the childrens ages but can tell you that kids change their minds quite often and things will surely work out  ......  good luck
1122445
You need counseling and help to get past his and move on with your life.  You may also want to cut all ties with him unless you have kids with him and if they are his kids then only see him when he has to see the kids and nothing more. You need to move on with your life and get past this.
184528
well you know what hey say about that good sex girl anyway i think if he is a good enough father to take the kids and help you out like that with three kids and these men these days don't want to do it with one he sounds like he is a sable guy with his head on straight but it also sounds like he has anger management issue i think you need to be alone at least until you get your life right for your kids sake if the baby's dad loves you so much then he will understand that is not a good idea the kids will then have no parents no mother and no father b/c he will end up in jail
944403
Tell him to stay put.  \n\nSee if you can get you and the kids on an even keel. See if he can get on an even keel.  \n\nIf he can call, come by, treat you guys with respect, maintain his job, his car and his home, his bank account, and take the kids sometimes to give you a break, then you might have something.  \n\nPay attention to his decision making skills.  Can the man make a decision and stick with it or is he all over the board?  \n\nDate for awhile.    DON'T let him sleep over at your house, unless you want your kids totally confused.  Give yourself enough space to objectively evaluate his behaviors.  Then decide if this is a healthy, loving, family relationship for everyone involved.
328979
For your sake and that of your children, move on. He obviously likes having the two relationships and that is not likely to change. The sooner you leave the sooner you and your children will heal. With all the lies this man has spun its amazing either of you are still with him. He has proven he has no intention of leaving. Don't waste more time on a relationship with no future. Find yourself a respectable man and live a happier life.
226827
How long have you been married to this man? If these aren't your children than aren't they little old for you to being everything for? I certainly would not let him treat me this way...K