I have a single child -a  13 year old son & feel guilty & regret my decision now!!?
609631
Well, first of all it's not really too late but it does get harder as your body gets older. The problem is at this age they would be very far apart and probably not have a lot in common. Now about him being lonely there is no reason for you to feel guilty or remorse. Having a sibling has it's advantage but it also has it's disadvantages. There is no rule on how many children you should have. I think as long as you raise him well he will be fine and well adjusted. There is nothing wrong with having only one child and in many ways it can be a benefit for exactly the reasons you stated ie. you have more time just for him, you can concentrate on him and his needs, you will have more money to send him to college or get him the things he needs. The truth is if he has been an only child for this long he might well resent having another child in the picture. I know my sister did and still sort of does LOL and we're only 2 years apart. Don't worry too much I think he'll be just fine, obviously he has a mother who cares about his well being very very much and that is the most important part about growing up.
1001270
you need to talk to her and explain how you are feelin about having another child...maybe you 2 could come to a compromise
964744
Be on your side thats all that matters. I haven't had a father for 27 years and I am 27. My mom made the smart choice and got out. My sperm donor is a raging alcoholic and hasn't changed to this day. So I can say I am better off that might make me sound bad but I can honestly say my life has been better without him.
529864
Well, I'm 31f. I have 2 kids, I got pregnate a month after I graduated H.S....I devoted all of my high school years to being obscessed about boys.  I look back at it now, and wow, was I stupid.  I prefer to be single now, only I'm stuck with my daugther's dad.  Of course this is worst case scenario, lol. Anyways, enjoy high school being single, go to some parties with friends, and live it up. Enjoy your teenage life..cause the real world is not far away.  Besides, once you get a boyfriend, they want all of your time,and you don't get to spend as much time with your friends. Enjoy your friends while you have them. Everyone goes their separate ways after school, I only keep in touch with a couple of my friends. There will always be boys, easy come, easy go....
74817
This must be such a difficult situation for your entire family.  You must be feeling as if you no longer know you son. You must feel as if you are walking on jello and that your whole world has fallen apart.  You must be thinking what will become of all the hopes and dreams I had for this boy of mine!  These feelings are all normal. You are not alone, I spent many sleepless nights hoping I could go back to the time when my child was small and I was holding that little boy in my arms.  But let's consider something very important: Your son was comfortable enough to come and talk to you about this situation.  That seems to say that your lines of communication are open between the both of you.  That is a blessing!  It says a great deal to how you raised your son and you should take comfort from that.\n\nWith your open communication and his trust in you  don't allow yourself to fall into the trap of becoming preachy and letting him know how wrong this is or to throw him.  The damage that will done by doing that can not be undone!\n\nThis is a time to sit down with him and discuss all the options.  You need to understand how he is feeling, what he wants to do about this situation, and how he is going to be responsible for this child.\n\nIts about him right now not you, and that is going to be very difficult to do, I know I have been there.  The more you can all listen and you guide with gentleness the better off you will all be.  Other people will say support him, but if you have not had many, many talks with him about his goals, worries, concerns and desires for all of this you will never know how to support him.\n\nNow, what he chooses may not be what you would choose.  At 17, he is feeling like a child and an adult.  He is conflicted by what he feels, he wants to be a little boy and have this all go away, and he wants to be a man and take care of it himself; but you have to be there to give him all the information he will need to make the choice.  If you do it right with little judgment and guilt he will choose well.\n\nGive him ALL the information both sides. Now, here comes the really hard part.  His girlfriend holds a great deal of the cards, and what she finally decides may not be what you or your son want.  Be prepared for that.  She and her family may want nothing to do with you.  They may view you as the cause of all this trouble.  They want to force your son into doing something that is not right.  Be prepared for that.  The more you have thought this all through and discussed everything with your son the better the outcome will be.\n\nWe can not force her, her family or you son into doing anything.  There can only be gentle guiding. \n\nWhen all is said and done the greatest thing we can rely on is faith that God is the author of all good things.  If we look at this with the eyes of faith we will see that this has the potential of becoming a beautiful experience of growth and strength.\n\nFeel free to call me: 517-290-8930
580295
You need to ask yourself if in your heart you honestlythink he is capable of change. Actions speak louder then words. Alot of people believe that being a single parent is wrong, but my mom raised me and my three siblings and we turned out just fine...except my siblings are all in jail (just kidding) Right now you are probably very confused and scared to be going through all of this alone, but you need to understand that if he does not change and comes around off and on it is going to do more damage then good for your children. I am sorry that you have to go through this and hey if you think he can really change I suggest some sort of counseling and then maybe you can be a big happy family. But as I said you and your two kids are a family already!
741823
Go with your heart.  Don't think about your ex.  Think about your kid.  Does he deserve it?  If so, help out as much as you can.  Thats what I would do.\n\nAs for insurance and maintenance though, make you son cover it.  Builds character and teaches responsiblity.
353654
In all honesty, I hope that for the sake of the kids, you make the right decision. Being that you have two of his off spring, your decision will be one that will not only affect you, but him too, and most of all it will affect the two boys when they get older, but also at the same time as a mother your first order of conduct is to protect your children regardless of whether he wants to be with you or not, in addition, if he loved you that bad to tell you that you should of stopped him, then he should of never left in the first place.\n\nAlso being the fact that he has children from another woman and is married to her, then I can honestly tell you that she will probally be the one to keep him and until he leaves her you will have a major problem getting any kind of support from him to help with the raising of the two boys.\n\nIf I were you I would forget about getting with him, regardless if you love him or not, as I said earlier, your first responisibilty is your two boys, for their sake and for yours too, you should file for sole custody of the two boys and also file with your county for child support, in addition to that you should find yourself another man, one who will accept your children and you too, there are plenty of men who can not have children and are always looking for females that have kids already.\n\nI hope and wish you the best of luck in this matter, and if you would like I would like to stay in touch with you to give you moral support, in addition to that I can also give you my friendship, and see where it goes from there.\n\nplease email me back and let me know how things are going for you from time to time.\n\nrichardaguilar402@yahoo.com\n\nGood luck and Congradulations on your two boys.....
488808
im a single mom w/ 13 kids
719408
It is sad that this problem weighs on a 12 year olds mind. I do think for the most part trust has gone away along time ago. You rarely hear about random acts of kindness. Try to look for the good in people and be kind to those less fortunate than we are and when you have children or come across a child maybe you can instill those values in them and bring in a complete new generation. Don't lose hope. There is always one person who spoils it for the rest. I have 2 boys and am raising them to look into someones heart first and try not to judge because you have never walked a mile in their shoes. I am happy to say my son is friends with everyone. So there is a little trust in the world take it in small doses.
767971
Hi "Dog" (cute nickname.) Right off the top I would have to say that not only do you have too much on your plate, but perhaps you're assuming too many responsibilities. There's no reason for YOU to feel guilty because your sister's husband isn't there for her. You CANNOT be responsible for everyone. You seem a very sensitive person--& only 16! Gosh. Do you have anyone you can talk with, preferably someone who isn't critical, judgmental, dictatorial--from whom you could get input & hopefully, some reinforcement? I believe you need this more than anything--except--that your well being is the very most important thing with which you must cope right now.  A freind would help. There's nothing intrinsically wrong with caring about others, but not at you expense. I hope someone will give you some thoughts that YOU can implement, & my very best to you.
733735
your family is SO right! you are SO cruel! your son has a clubbed foot, and you're still thinking of saving money and making such a little boy work?? are you his step parent or something? I'm so glad I don't have such a parent, if I did, I'd rather be an orphan...\nand the legal working age is 16.
738033
I have to try to help u, will go to the abortion issue later, 1st about the getting married, I also got married at 18, we were together all thru high school, I did just what u r going to do, but that is many yrs. ago wish I was 18 again!! Please dont make my mistake, I ended up staying married to him for 18yrs. I was so unhappy, that is a long story, but the bottom line is I did finally get a divorce, why look back now. What I ask u to do is ask yourself and be honest to yourself, why r u wanting to get married so fast? Please when u read this understand this is no judgement against your boyfriend, I want u to just sit by yourself and really give this thought, it took me yrs. to be honest with myself, I was finnally honest and my answer was I wanted to leave home, my father was a alcholic, I wanted also to be taken care of, even though I worked, I  just had to show everyone how grown up I was, needless to say he was not the same after we married, and as the yrs. went on seemed he was still thinking and treating me as if I were still a teenager! Please u and your boyfriend talk and ask each other if its real love why not just wait, your together anyway, but r u so sure or would just a 6 month wait help u both to be sure, I just want u both to be happy, wish I had been given advice, even if u dont wait at least I hope u r sure, remember I was 18 at one time to, hell never even thought or knew how fast time goes by! Whatever you and him decide I wish u both the best and my blessing, as for the abortion u cannot look back now, and believe me no one has the right to judge u, my situation was different but I had to have a abortion, my 2nd husband and I have been married 13 yrs now,happy yrs. and I became pregnant our 1st yr. but come to find out I had a tumor that made having a baby dangerous, I know what a abortion is, scary and of course sad no matter what the circumstance, I also have a friend since 7th grade and her parents made her have a abortion so in a way I know how u must feel, if its anything like my friend, she was a mess, and bitter with her parents, I can only imagine how scary it must be to be in a abortion clinic at such a young age,and against your will! It makes me sad to think of it, you went thru hell and o thers dont have a clue, unless they have been there! But dont worry u just like my dear friend will when its the right time have a beautiful healthy baby, and I just know u will be the best mom! By the way that friend I told u about was only 14 at the time, she stayed with her boyfriend and they were married at the age of 20 and this yr will be their 30th anniversary!! See were old now!!! Big 50!!LOL, and they have 2 wonderful sons, and now a grandbaby!!! All will go well for u just make sure u r doing what is right for u!! If u do get married now, please take at least a yr.before having your baby, that way u have time to enjoy each other, and be more stable. Once u have a baby believe me its a whole new life, dont take this wrong I loved having my daughter, the feeling was like oh what a miracle!!! But u have so many changes remember u and your husband will be responsible for a new life!!! Now thats amazing when u look at it that way! You will want more for your child than u had we as good parents do, remember the most precious gift u will ever give your child no matter how old he or she is will always be your love,time, and support,and beyond even that make sure your child can always come to u and talk, I wish I could have with my parents, but I never could! My daughter always could and still does and I cant believe she is 30 see what I mean how fast time goes by!!! I have a grandson so I have been blessed again! Bless u and do whats in your heart, but give my words some thought, wish u the best in life!!
563261
I'm in Australia, so there isn't much I can help you with in regards to the laws of your country, assuming you live somewhere else. But congratulations for being a great man and father and seeing your kids as people you love not just a responsibility. Whatever happens, your children will grow up knowing they are in an environment of love and support and that will be a huge benefit and source of comfort for them. I'm separated, with five kids and their father has moved on with his life and that life doesn't involve them. Its had a ravaging effect on them emotionally. There should be more men like you. I know things are really hard and I can see how you would be feeling down and frustrated. Just remember a close family will survive anything. Good Luck. You have lucky children.
880020
It will get better. Same thing happened to me same week the youngest turned 18 See ya later!!! It happens nothing you can do about it. Keep yourself as distant from it all as you can if not you will never heal. If the children still want a relationship with you then be there for them.. Stay busy get lots of friends maybe a good time to find a good church.. Your free to do what you want take advantage of it make yourself have fun start your quest to find that one that is your best friend and wants to be with you for you not because you have a pay check.....Good luck
781183
Never feel guilty......  Does not help you or them!  Now you could test for any congenital defects if they are very severe like Down's syndrome or such.  As for more simple things... which are still complicated, like bipolar, schizophrenia and sorts, yes, that can be passed on.  But this information is available to us now, not back then.  Would I still have children, probably depending on how severe it is in the family.  However, my family have severe dyslexia.  Would I not want one of my children because of that, of course not.  I would become as knowledgeable as I could to make sure they have the best opportunities.  As for guilt mom, don't carry any, you can only live for tomorrow and can't change the past.  Don't let your children make you feel this way, they will not benefit from your weakness.  Good luck and remember, they are teens, they will become human beings once again once this age is passed.  Good luck!
470486
I think it's very sad that other kids are being cruel to your son, and I'm also disappointed and concerned that his father is unable to accept his son's orientation. On the other hand, I'm very happy to hear that your son has a supporting and understanding mother like yourself. He's going to need your support, and it sounds like you will be there to give it to him. \n\nI know, and I imagine a lot of us know, how it feels to be harrased in school because of being different than others. I didn't deal with it very well - I internalized everything, and I was too humiliated to tell my family what kids would call me in school. I wish I had had a supportive parent that understood how I felt, even if it was only one parent that understood, and not the other.\n\nI'm sure your child will be very successful and happy in the future - this is just going to be a rough time (possibly). Getting him into support groups for gay youth as soon as possible would probably be a great idea. When I was about 22 I started going to a support group, and I finally realized that what I am is completely and totally okay. \n\nI'm rooting for your son, and I hope he gets to grow up feeling good about himself! It will make such a difference in his life if he knows that, no matter what anyone says, he's awesome and valuable. As for your husband, what about family counseling with a gay friendly counselor? If not that, how about a conversation between you and your husband about setting new, realistic expectations for his son. He may not get the macho guy that he was hoping for, but if your husband can find the strength in himself (and this takes a real man) to be proud of and support his gay son, he will have done what so many men can't. He could also save himself a lot of hurt and disappointment down the road.\n\nHere's hoping for happiness, love and compassion for all of you!