Whats the best way to get a husband that spends to much, to stop WITHOUT taking away his debit card????
597839
The one thing that worked for my husband was to SEE our budget and understand that, when his check went into the bank, I had already divided it up between the bills needing to be paid and the other stuff we needed/wanted to do (like saving for a vacation).  He has a 'blow fund' (in the budget) and I NEVER ask him about what he uses it for UNLESS he comes asking for more.\n\nWe have a 'budget meeting every time he gets paid, before I pay bills, so he can see where the money is going and IF there's anything left over.\n\nFinancial Peace University was a GREAT class for us to take together to help work-out and understand our financial differences and start seeing eye-to-eye.  Check it out at the site below.  Ramsey also has a book called Financial Peace.
715027
Total up all your costs on paper and divide it by 2. Highlight the amount an leave it for him so that he can see what you are talking about. You are not the only person who lives in your home - you both do. You both are responsible for the household. If you feel strongly about it, let him know that if he doesn't pull his share, he can do it all on his own - as a single man.
613989
i'm sure my friend got married and she still has all her shopping cards. you need to get rid of him if he wants you to loose the cards!!
893061
It's a little late for this year, but a strategy I've found to be effective is by doing my shopping a little at a time, beginning, if you must, in January.\n \nHowever, this solution still doesn't deal with the underlying problem.  It sounds as if you and your husband have very different attitudes toward money--a situation that's not all that uncommon.  I know this from firsthand experience because it exists in my own home (though it's not nearly to the extreme you describe)--my situation for years was one of having to watch every penny and make choices between a cup of coffee and putting gas in my old jalopy, while my other half was used to thinking that money was something that, if he ran out, he could always get from his father.  Over the years he's learned to rein in his spending, but he never will be the penny pincher that I am (by the same token, I've become a little less prone to making a dime do the work of a dollar).  \n\nYou refer to your spouse as the "major breadwinner"--does he have the attitude of "it's MY money, I work for it, and I should get to spend it as I like?"  If so, I think that, as a couple, you would benefit from talking with a neutral third party--a clergyperson or a counselor--who can help you.  \n\nNow, for this year, a lot depends on the ages of your children.  If they're still fairly small, dollar stores will provide some gifts that will brighten the holiday for them.  You might also use this as an opportunity to teach your children about giving by donating some of their outgrown clothing and toys to a charity or a drive for such things in your area.  Stimulate their creativity, too, by making decorations with them.\n\nHope this gives some ideas, but until you and your other half deal with the problem of his spening habits, it's just going to be the same old thing year after year.
17813
A giftcard is always a nice idea. Try to find a store he loves and either find a giftcard, or a brand new item he hasn't heard or seen yet.
498249
It's still early on in the relationship. If you don't feel it's the appropriate amount to spend, I'd talk to him and let him know how you feel.  And maybe come to terms with a spending amount for both of you. I know you may want to get it for him to make him happy, but then you may resent it and this feeling will not be good towards the start of your relationship.  You have to do it from the heart.
148177
Develop a mind set that you have no money. No credit cards, only leave the bare minimum in your bank account and lock up your money (maybe in a bank account that is to difficult to withdraw from)\nI do this through ING direct, then i think i only have $20 bucks left for 3 days, then i don't spend anything. Works a treat.
997064
I've been in this situation many times and it is incredibly frustrating.I feel your pain...I would maybe hold half of the cost of the utilities from his deposit.This way your not eating the whole amount but,he still get's a break.Maybe offer this,first as a compromise-show him the bills-be very open with him-show him your payment history.Next time,next roommate, make sure you make it very clear that utlities are not included in the rent.Unfortunatley if it's not in writing there's not much you can do about it now.Well,at least you've both learned lessons from it all.
784842
Try some homemade gift.  A "ticket" book you've made with coupons for back messages' future night's out, sex, homemade food (his favorites), a chore you'll do instead of him,etc.  \nI did that, he presented the coupon occasionally and I followed through...it was fun!
1049340
Misuse on  your part? Or do you mean Fraud? If it's mis-use by you or your partner, then the answer is obvious. Try not to spend on small things, like fast food joints... try saving them only for "emergencies" if you still mis-use, then close that account, break it in half & trash it! If you mean credit card fraud, the best thing I personally recommend would be for you to contact the 3 major credit reporting agencies... transunion, equifax & experian. Don't go thru another company that will charge you hundreds to contact them, to be the intermediate for you.... You can do it yourself for free or way cheaper. Put  your social on "fraud alert" with each agency so that every time your credit report is pulled for any reason, your info is flagged as a fraud alert. They also have more agressive ways of preventing fraud. Check out their websites for more info
565018
Make a list separately of what you both want, enjoy, need - pay no attention to order or anything Else. Then get together and compare, here you can eliminate or even add to a single list you agree on. Then place them in order of importance, please no arguing - if it is important to you (or him) then it is - no matter what you (or he) thinks. Now we have a list, next place a time next to them. House - 3 years, vacation - 1 year etc. Then put dollar amounts next to them - house deposit needed $10,000 divide that by 36 (3yearsx12) you now have a monthly value. Once you have done this you will see that you have monthly values for the things you are trying to do. Then add up everything and get a monthly total. You'll either have enough to do it all or not enough to do it all. Then sit down again and work out what you can eliminate or reduce - going to the bar (or whatever) once every two months is cheaper than going every week(or night!). House deposit in 4 years instead of three etc - Once you can see what you can achieve, and you are both on board, then it is easy to do. This may take a few talks, so get coffee and cookies and sit in a nice and comfortable room. \nThe idea is to give your spouse something they want, and help them understand in order to get it, they need to save/cut back/stick to budget - whatever term works best - to get it. Where 'it' is something they (and you as a couple) agree is worth saving for.\nGood Luck!
1014639
If you have credit cards, cut them up and throw them out.  Withdraw all the money from your checking account.  When you get paid, put your money in envelopes labeled for what that much money is going toward....we have rent, vet, groceries, gas, electric, etc.  SEAL THEM, and don't open them until you have to pay the bill.  Get a money order instead.  It's less than $1 at the post office, if the order is under $1,000 I think.\nPut whatever money you have after bills into a SAVINGS account, so you can't write a check or charge to debit.\nIf you don't have the will power to do that, then every time you go somewhere and buy unnecessary CRAP (mostly clothes), take them home and put them in your closet with the tags ON.  Then when the weekend rolls around, you can go back and embarass yourself returning everything you've bought that week, and when they ask if it was defective, you simply say, "No, I can't really afford it, but I have a shopping problem."  After you've humbled yourself a few times, you might break that nasty habit.\nIf you have someone you trust (probably not wise), you can always hand your money over to be delegated to you where it's needed.  But I only say that because I make sure I have $500 IN HAND before my other half goes back to work every Tuesday.  He's worse than you could EVER be, believe me.
1154617
You need to sit down and discuss your financial situation. Tell him there are some things you are just not comfortable with. Make a proposal to him on how you would like to do things such as each of you being responsible for certain bills or one of you taking care of the bills but the other reimburses at the end of the month. There are many different ways married people manange their finances. My 1st husband and I just always put all of our money together. My boyfriend (we live together) and I don't but we share responsibillity for everything (rent, groceries, utilities,ect.) I pay alot of these because I have more time to take care of paying bills but at the end of the month I let him know what his share was and he gives it to me. There is no right or wrong way but you have to talk about it and come up with a plan and budget that works for both of you. Their are a lot of divorces over money so do it early on before resentments start to build. Maybe he just doesn't realize how much money you are putting out. Show him on paper what you pay in a month. When my boyfriend was between jobs, I paid everything for a while and he insisted he would pay me back. When he did start working and he had me figure out how much money I had paid out he couldn't believe how it had added up. He did pay me back completely but was shocked at the amount. I hope you find something that works for you. Good Luck!
874864
My ultimate gift would be that he paid attention to all the little things.  He took out all the trash without being asked, did the dishes, cleaned up after himself, and gave me time to just relax.  However, I do still love a beautiful card, flowers once in a while, and definitely chocolate.  If money was not object for my husband, I would love for him to take me on a mini vacation, buy a house and have the movers move everything for us so when I arrived to our new house, I wouldn't have to do everything!
939765
I guess I might start by both of us setting down and take a look at what is going out in bill's 1st for the month.\n Then look at what is left over after bill's food gas for work --Then add up your pay coming into the home each week then add that up to see what you have now deducted the over all bill's from that ---That is what you have left to play with or save.Now this is where each of you need to see what each of you may spend with whats left over.And if there is not enough to shop that week or every 2 weeks just don't do it !\nIt takes a lot of disciplined as you know since you are the Strict Budget one.\nBut yes I would set down in a loving way and talk it out.\nYou sound like a sweet husband.trying to fix something before it gets out of hand.
430402
Compulsive spending, like all other compulsions, must be dealt with one day at a time.  Since you know you have been spending too much, what can you do about it TODAY?  You can avoid those budgetary items that are most nearly luxuries rather than necessities; I do not NEED another DVD.\n\nThen, when it comes to necessities, try to appreciate just how much of each necessity you really need.  I have known plenty of people, not only females, who have more clothes than they can possibly wear.  Or they buy new clothes just to put off doing the laundry!  \n\nThen, finally, there is extravagance even with necessities that involves higher quality than you can reasonably afford.  It is all very nice to have good taste, but the finest of everything every day is for multimillionaires, not ordinary folk.  Allow yourself one fine luxury habit, such as very good tea instead of cheap supermarket types, and let that be your "little luxury," because it is the only one.  Or enjoy the thrill of finding very good bargains, but only buy what you really need when it really is a remarkable bargain.\n\nOne day at a time, my friend; you'll be OK.
271072
Take him to the store but explain to him that he can only spend $10, you'll have to help him to look at the prices. Dollar stores are awesome for that kind of situation. He' could get lots there.