What if I'm not attracted to my husband of 3 years anymore. But I still love him?
598639
DO YOU HAVE KIDS... AND DO WANNA MAKE YOUR MARRIAGE WORK..SOMETIMES YOU CAN LOVE SOMEONE BUT NOT BE INLOVE WITH THEM AND IF YOUR NOT INLOVE WITH THAT PERSON YOUR MARRIAGE WILL NOT WORK I THINK U NEED TO SIT DOWN WITH YOUR HUSBAND FOR 3 YEARS AND TALK ABOUT THE THINGS.. TELL HIM HOW YOU ARE FEELING AND TRY TO WORK THINGS OUT BECAUSE IT IS TO MANY PEOPLE IN THE UNITED STATES IS GETTING DIVORCE... MAYBE YOU AND YOUR HUSBAND CAN GET SOME TYPE OF HELP WITH YOUR MARRIAGE.. LIKE A MARRIAGE COUNSELING **wink**
643814
if it is true love you will know it in your heart. You wont be able to get enough of him being around you and the annoying things he does will be 'cute' (until you have been married for about 5 years lol) He will be all you think about, dream about, and talk about.
866501
I've been married 28 years ,and it's still in doubt .It seems the spirit and the flesh are somewhat incompatible .You can do what you want, it seems to quench the spirit tho for a time .
943431
YES, it is possible! I have been married for three years now and I am totally in love and, at the same time, completely infatuated.
641484
Ok, When my oldest daughter was two my wife and I separated because she was having an internet affair. after a couple of months separation I decided that I still loved her.  that was six years ago.  About six months ago I made a mistake and wandered from my relationship and had a Psychological affair with a coworker.  we never had sex or anything. But my loveing wife is trying to work through this.  she loves me I know she does and I Hope that we can work through this and be stronger than we were before.  But just remember that just because he wandered doesnt mean that he dont love you anymore, because if that were the case he would have split it off with you when he got caught.  Hang in there and he will show you that he is being true to you by his actions.\n\ngod bless.\n\nC.H.
456494
He may have lost attraction to you... sad to say. THIS IS NOT YOUR FAULT.... you're having his kids for crying out loud!!! Personally, I would love my wife even more during that period, however, a lot of men arent like that. It probably has something to do with the weight you have gained from both pregnancies. You need to talk to him about your feelings and your concerns. Maybe marriage counseling would help... if you are both opened minded to that. You are going through a hard time now, physically, emotionally and all. I wish he was more supportive of you. Basically, dont take his selfishness and ignorance personal. You are doing a very important job right now and looks are secondary. Just my thought on the subject....\n\nCounselorDan
144734
you can't make somebody love you, maybe you should revalute why you are still married?? If he does not love you , why stay with him. You have to make your own happiness.
521422
personally i would say no, you hardly know him after 3 months, trust me i speak from personal experience (yes i did end up divorced) you will still be in the infatuation stage of your relationship, wait a year or two then think about it for a while but rely on your own instincts not on anyone elses opinion. It is you that will have to live with the decision for the rest of your life (hopefully). Just for the record I have been married to my second wife for six years and we have two great kids and no regrets!
596758
Honey, I am 28 yrs. and have been with my fiance for a total of 10 years now. In the beginning, we did have more sex than we do now. How long have you two been together? I totally disagree that it means you are not in love with him. I have more love for my man every year that passes by, even though now we aren't intimate like before. Sure, we love to be with eachother, it's just not the most important thing on our list to do. We have grown to be totally comfortable with that and it doesn't mean there is something wrong...that's my opinion anyways. You should try new and exciting things, even if it is just a laugh with eachother.
541674
I was married for 10 years to a man 24 years older than I was, but it really worked. I'm an old soul, and he had a very active inner child. We probably would still be together were it not for a logistical problem: He was claustrophobic, and I have the hoarding form of OCD. We had the EXACT same sense of humor, we were both great listeners and sharers, enjoyed doing almost all the same things together, had the same friends (both his age and my age). But the OCD problem caused him to stay away from home more and more after we'd been married several years, and to drink more and more. In the end, he was unhappy, I was unhappy, I gained a lot of weight, he was put off sexually. I guess we both were by then. But I love him still. The morning of our divorce, we went out to breakfast after!\nThe short answer is, it can be a wonderful match, very companionable, if there are no addictions or neuroses to drive you apart.  If you are attracted to each other and intellectually compatible, temperamentally compatible, go for it.  (Men his age would always look at us and wink or high-five him.)
1129099
You're so not an idiot!  You love someone, plain and simple.  My husband and I broke up before we were married for two years and I never stopped loving him.  I knew that we were going to be together again, despite what everyone else told me.  Now, 6 years later, we are happily married.  Never stop loving that person, no matter what.  Even if they dont come back into your life, the love you feel, and the pride that comes from that can never be taken away from you.  You own those feelings...enjoy them!
648682
If you love someone a job does not stay in the way of your marriage.*\n\nStay and give him this option of now or never.\n\nThe older we get the less desirable we get so getting or soul-mates young are better than being older three years your 28 and if he puts it off again.\n\nYou could be in your 30's and than what.\n\nMay dad told me this when is was around your age.\n\n( Of course he was playing telling me if i waited till i was 50 than i would be looking for a wife around 50 years old also ). \nSomehow dad had a why of putting things that made sense but he went way around the bush to get there.\n\nThat's because he did not like making my choices but he let me know in away he was there to show me a direction of my choice.
611086
Trust your feelings.  Something's telling you this relationship is not right.  Listen to one who's been through the "clinging boyfriend" thing.  I stayed with him for 3 years because I thought he loved me, needed me, couldn't live without me, and all that.  Meanwhile, he was showing his "love" for me by knocking me around, being super jealous and possessive, controling everything I said and did -- I think you know what I'm talking about!  This is NOT LOVE, but a sick relationship.  You can't "save" him, and he won't change unless he gets treatment.  When you break up, he'll even threaten to kill himself or you, or promise to get treatment, or whatever.  Don't accept the guilt -- it's his problem, not yours.  If he gets treatment, fine -- wish him well and keep moving.  But don't go back.  It may sound heartless, but trust me -- he doesn't "love" you, he only wants to "own" you.  He may even think he loves you, but he doesn't know what love is.  Don't mess up your life.  You're not helping him any by letting this relationship continue anyway.  Don't be just one of those statistics years from now (one more abused wife -- or worse, one more beaten to death wife).
12789
Well given that I've been married for 7 years and known him for 10, I hope this helps. \n\nInfatuation: is like new found love or "puppy love," it's new exciting and makes you flutter like a butterfly in your stomach. you can't stop thinking about them, you want to be around them, know everything that there is about them, and just experience them first hand. With my husband (when he was my boyfriend at the time) was all I wanted to hear, talk to, hold, and be with. He was what I breath and thought about 24/7. \n\nIt wasn't until 3 years ago, that I realized what love was. Love is where your trust is validated, when he takes care of a bill without you yelling, takes care of the kids for you when you are sick. Cooks a meal for you and it's not your anniversary or birthday. But what really made me realize what love was it when I couldn't make love to him and I was sick. He stood by me through it all and nursed me without thought of his own needs. It's when u are satisfied with this person that you are with despite if they leave the toilet seat wet or up, if they leave their clothes and dirty shoes everywhere alone with the kids, shaves and leaves shavings for yout to clean up, loses his job and u have to work for two years, despite what people say about him you stay beside him because you know he loves you. He gains weight and now weights 300 pounds, he loses he's hair and looks more like your dad than your man. IT's where all material, superficial, and nonessential qualities are not the things that makes the relationship and it lasts because of the little things.\n\nI had four kids for him. gained 120 pounds. He made me feel like a queen despite I was huge and was paitent with me when I couldn't make love to him for 6 months. He's been there when it counted and that's why I love him. the infatuation and honeymoon is over for us, but the romance is still cooking.
90984
Romantic feelings of being "in love" often fade after time. That can be normal. What you need to be asking yourself is --\nDo I love him?\nCan I imagine having this bond with anyone else?\nHow big a part of my life would be gone if he wasn't in it anymore?\nCan I see this man being my husband? Father of my children?\nHow would I feel if he broke up with me? Left me?\nHow would I feel if he cheated on me?\nCan I see myself being with him forever?\nHow does he treat me?\n\nThese kind of questions may help you do some soul searching. Otherwise it just sound slike the "seven year itch".
546655
You still love your X.  You love your husband, and if you're still young, you WILL feel strong attraction to possibly one or more others in your future.  \nThis happens to ALL of us, as a mechanism for survival of the species.  It is BUILT IN to us to love more than once.\n\nLove never dies.  But something went wrong between you and your X, and the relationship ended.  That one thing will never change between you, and will always be remembered.\n\nYou invested in this marriage because it seemed good.  You worked to make it good.  Are you working to KEEP it good?\nI am willing to bet either you or your husband have become lazy in going through the effort to be "attractive", and that just kills romance.\nThen we think we are not loved anymore.  In a marriage, that is very much BS.  Of course you are still loved.  Love does not die.  But it can be overshadowed by the demon PRIDE.\nGet rid of pride.  Do things to make yourself enticing and attracting.  And you can make the LOVE even better than ever before between you and your husband.\n\nI've been in a relationship that nearly died, and salvaged it with just a little effort on my part.  Wanted to leave, and figured, what the heck, I've got nothing to lose, let me play the game all the way out...so I did the bit of work needed to bring back the sparks. \n\nIt seems stupid at first, and remember PRIDE is a demonic factor.  But if you treat it like a game, you can have some fun with it, and get a very surprising outcome.\nIs he looking at another woman?  That is NOT an issue betweent he TWO OF YOU.   Sweetie, you have the advantage.  He's yours most all the time, right?\nHave a blast, entice and attract him, and you'll start to see him acting goofy again.  He won't even know what's happening, just that he feels good around you again.  It's just like dating.  They come back because you make them feel good more than any other girl.  Use those same keys to his heart again...who knows him better than you?\nDo the make-up, perfume, (try a mixture of the spice cinnamon+baby powder), and FLIRT with your husband!!!  Bend over.  Touch his shoulder.  Touch him lightly in the middle of the night, you'll even here his breathing change.\nWatch how he begins to spark at you once again.\nManipulate time alone with him.  Don't make an announcement on any of this...just work it girl.\n\nYou ARE married, and you do love your husband, and you always will.  Let the ex go, and quit turning outside for solutions to your marriage. Give him all the attention and effort you're presently giving the X.   \nTurn your efforts INTO the marriage and get busy being all girly again.  Oh yeah, and another really important thing.\nBecome your husbands best friend.  Let him know you really are his best friend, and that you like spending time with him.  Compliment him a little (not too much).\n\nALL marriages go through dry spells, especially when no one is trying to keep it interesting.  Don't make the mistake of saying, well HE'S not making the effort!  That is a load of BS and you know it.  Not many men even know how to make the effort unless they have an erection.  If you want him to jump through hoops, then you'll have to make sure he gets and erection first!  ha ha ha ha\n\nBe the Girl all we women can be if we want to.\nI wish you love
112938
If you're happy now, then be contented with what you have. You chose to marry him despite his age and you've lasted that long together.\n\nIt is dangerous to entertain such a question...