Should I be hurt if my dad wont come to my 21st birthday bash because my mom will be there?
597863
no but you should realize that your mom and dad need to grow up and alas have failed to do so thus far. its  not about you its about them acting like ridiculous children.
365951
in all out honesty you should go and be happy for your mom.alot of people go through the same ideals that you are going through right now.like why did you dad leave or why are my mom and dad not togather anymore?but this is common questions and you really should be happy for you mom for wanting to go on with here life and remember know matter what she will always be your mom and she will always love you
343183
I think it's HER day and she's old enough to deal with her decision whether or not to invite him.  True, she may regret not inviting her dad - but that's for her to decide and then deal with.  She may NEVER regret it - and remember it as a special day she got to spend with YOU.  Respecting her wish will also prove to her that she is worthy of your trust and respect.  I do hope you have a "grown up" conversation with her about all of this - make her a part of the pros/cons discussion and final decision.\n\nGood Luck!
460258
Your mom is going through a difficult situation in life.  You should understand that.  And so are you!  But be by her side and stand up for her always.  Also, do not be shy to discuss EVERYTHING concerning her relationships and your feelings with her gently.  Surely she will be the one to make you more comfortable in dealing with the matter.  What other people say does matter, but only to a certain extent.  So dont let that get to you.  Afterall, they do not provide you with anything when you are down.  Also divert your mind and do things that make you happy.  Good luck kid - looks like you are brave and will come out of this a winner.
1129131
Ask your dad if you can invite them. You dont have to have them eat with you. and if you want to invite your friends go ahead! if they want to invite someone with them tell them i just want you not them. and tell them that i ONLY invited you. so if they bring unwanted guqest kick them OUT!!
40740
Honey your mom is going through a lot of stress right now and so are you. I can assure that she loves you and while she might be angry ( hell even PISSED) at you for sneaking out she will respect you being grown up enough to tell her what you did and why. Tell her how you are feeling and what you did. It is a fact of life that you have to accept the punshiment that goes with the "crime" so step up and maybe this conversation will help the two of you understand each other a little better in the long run.
118789
I agree, go help her, shouldn't you be there anyway if it's her birthday. If you took everyone elses advice you are already there are if not and you are still sitting at the computer reading this, then your might just be a jerk.\n\nHope it all works out!!!
1168226
you need to bond with her why not offer to call a truce and invite her to got get pedicures & manicures - talk to her.  ask her to come to you if she has a problem with something you did instead of running to your father - tell her you like you have to always be defensive around her because you feel like anything you say she will turn against you and cause a fight with your father.
293852
It is difficult to comment on a relationship that I only know a part of. You must remember that it is not your fault that your dad has unfortunately become an alcoholic. Your mom, I can imagine is under sever stress as she perhaps is trying to keep the family in a normal, non eventful routine. In her trials and tribulations to work out a plan to keep your family together and get your dad some help she might have succumbed to the stress. Talk to her about how you feel and how her actions are affecting you. Create a common goal, that is to get your family and dad back on track. Remind yourslef and your mom of the small victories you bith earned together, to feel good. May my advice not only bring you some peace but hope that all can get better.
1147271
Same, my dad wasnt there for me and havent seen a dime from him, and no i dont celebrate it for him, they dont deserve it, be a better father then he was . Good luck and god bless. Be strong, i know its tough to see perfect fathers and then reflect on yours.\nI love my mom soooo much , she took my dads role too.
805651
Im sorry about your mom, it is okay to freak out, especially because your moms death is so recent. You still have 2 years left to think and eventually you will figure out that it is ok to leave your dad and your sister.Eventhough your sister is an "airhead" in two years she can grow out of it and im pretty sure she will take care of your dad no matter what.
993493
SHE MIGHT NOT MAKE IT TIL MONDAY, SHE IS 83!!!!!!...\nTELL HER YOU WILL BAIL HER OUT IF SHE LETS YOU HAVE A PARTY IN HER HOUSE THIS WEEKEND, OR ELSE SHE STAYS...
1077652
Well I do not know your mother, but from the sound of it. It appears she is proud of you and your daughter and wants her friends to see how well you are doing. \nYour 42 which means your mother is most likely in her 60tys + which means life for her has less pleasures left. She is your mother and when she is gone, little things like this will seem like miss chances of memories to share. \nYou know she has no control over your choices but if it makes her feel like she is then what harm is there really. \nTrust me one day you will be glad you let this happen.
312644
I think I can promise you this : on your fiftieth biethday, your dad will treat you like a 2 yr old ........ you are his BABY, for goodness sakes ! so, you are going to have to obey house rules and put up with your dad until you have a good enough education and job to move ..... and when he comes to visit you then, he will treat you like you are 2 yrs old !
615785
No! To clear your concience, you should write her a letter telling her why you are not coming to see her and how you feel about everything. I think you should try to love her because she apparently doesn't love or truly value herself.She as well as you need to know that your past does not determine your future unless you allow it too. MY advice to you is to love your mom and be something you are proud of and maybe an inspiration to her. Bad person NO You ARE NOT. If you were you wouldn't feel guilt over this. It  sounds like you are a hurt person, don't get bitter . Just get better. Do something good with yourself.
228724
At 21, it doesn't matter what mom and dad want.  You are your own person and if you want to spend the night some where else it is none of their business.
683894
Im sorry, Happy Birthday, You should go out and buy yourself some stuff you want. just go all out and have a good time.  No body cares about my birthday either. I haven't had a birthday party in 6 years, My dad forgets every year, and sometimes ill go the whole day without anyone saying happy birthday.  please don't let it get you down, just remember that people suck, and theres nothing you can do about it.  Keep your head up, and maybe people will notice.