MY husband is always complaining of me not beng humble to him . Inotice he denies me outside. what do i do .?
610099
Marriage is about compromises and mutual respect not about who has what "personal rights and satisfaction". You both sound like you are frequently disrespectful to each other and quite frankly, If you or he always wants to do what you want to do with no regard for the other person's feelings you are not ready for marriage. \n\nTry this for a couple of days, fulfil his needs to the best of your ability and have him fulfill your needs to the best of his ability. I guarantee when each person tries to make the other happy without being wrapped up in their own desires, EVERYBODY is happier.
940789
He keeps being persistant because you give in to easily. He keeps screwing up because he knows you will take him back eventually. Pull your head out of your behind and stand up for yourself! Tell him to F$&# off for good! You can do much better than him and you know it!
885019
Call him and invite him over.  If he refuses or is cold toward you then you have to move on...\n\nThe fact that he is moody is already a red flag.  Do you really want to deal with an emotional roller-coaster ride with him?
518943
Sadly, I had this problem with my husband too.  We sat down with the elders of our church after he threw a glass at me that bruise all the toes on my left foot.  The very nicely explained to him a series of important scriptures on how he can learn to value me. \n\nBut also after it happened, my dad gave me some great advice, so simple, but it really worked.  OVer the phone (my husband travels for a living) I told him that some members of the congregation were aware of what was going on, and he explained that he wished I hadn't told people, and I told him that I hadn't, (my sister and husband also live with us, so it's not like there aren't witnesses) but just that they were made aware of it.  (If other people find out about it, they get embarrassed, like the rest of the time they're in denial, but when others find out about it, they can't pretend it didn't happen.) I told him that from now on, WE weren't going to hang up the phone on each other, WE weren't going to be throwing things at each other, WE weren't going to be saying "I'm going to leave you!", WE just weren't going to do any of that.  Mind you, I've never done any of that to him, but it sounds better to say "We" than 'you you you'.  His response was, "it's going to take some time" and I said, "no it's not.  Right now, that's when we're starting.  We don't need any extra time, it's already been three + years of this, and we're just going to start from right now." I think he was surprised.  My tone wasn't angry or yelling, it was just straightforward.  He hasn't thrown anything at me since, and he still gets irritated, but that's natural.  Throwing things and cussing me out is not.  \n\nIf your husband has any kind of spiritual nature, I encourage you both to sit down and read this scriptures together, which have really helped us.  What it boils down to, is that usually a husband doesn't respect himself, and since you are his 'one flesh' and 'complement', if he doesn't respect himself or is insecure, he may not respect you as well.  I try to build my honey up whenever I can and tell him how great he is at this or that and that there's no reason for him to be insecure.  (by the way, the cup-throwing incident was because I fed the cat a piece of shrimp on the couch, which you would think a cat would gobble up, but not my cat, he sat there licking it. Hubby wasn't happy at all, I admitted it was dumb and I wouldn't do it again, but he got so upset, he actually hurt me, so I understand the 'small things' that should never make them that upset. The real truth is that there are underlying issues, not just the shrimp.)\n\nEph 4:26 Be wrathful, and yet do not sin; let the sun not set with YOU in a provoked state, 27 neither allow place for the Devil. 29 Let a rotten saying not proceed out of YOUR mouth, but whatever saying is good for building up as the need may be.\n\n(In other words, a person is going to be wrathful at times, but the point is not to sin or get to a provoked state without resolving it, to do so leaves open a place for the 'Devil' to disrupt your family, possibly leading to divorce. (Satan likes divorce, since it breaks up God's divine arrangement of marriage. We certainly don't want to leave a place open for him in our families.)\n\n\nEph 4:31 Let all malicious bitterness and anger and wrath and screaming and abusive speech be taken away from YOU along with all badness. 32 But become kind to one another, tenderly compassionate, freely forgiving one another just as God also by Christ freely forgave YOU.\n\n(Basically, God forgives us for the many things we do, surely we should forgive each other for the minor things.)\n\nEph 5:28 In this way husbands ought to be loving their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself, 29 for no man ever
126825
Clearly think this through before you give up on your marriage. If it can be fixed and he hasn't been abusive toward you than maybe you can work on what is wrong.\n\nK
1146329
Make a time to sit down and talk with him---try to do this with as few distractions as possible. Find out what kind of support he wants. Since he's complaining, insist that he be specific. After you've listened to him, then make sure he listens to you. Be specific about the support you are providing, and also tell him your needs. This is your turn to be specific. Write everything down, compare lists, and try to come up with compromises. This might help disarm the negative emotions. Just because he's in pain, doesn't mean he should be disrespectful and ungrateful. You can be sympathetic for his pain, and still take up for yourself. You and your husband are modeling an adult relationship for your children.
1179387
Many times we take our frustration and or anger out on the person who is closest to us which is usually the one we love the most! Plan a "date night" with your husband! Tell him in advance that the two of you are going out to dinner together. Pick a restaurant that both of you enjoy. Wear something you know he finds sexy on you. Once this day comes, you are going to start off with a whole new attitude! You are going to be more positive about things. Yes there are things that will get us down but don't let it keep you down, no more S.H.I.T. !!!! From here on you are going to see the brighter side of things! That evening at dinner talk about all of the wonderful things the TWO of you have done TOGETHER! Reminisce about your wedding day, anything of the wonderful things that two of you have done! Also, tell him how after dinner you are going to take him home and the two of you are going to get absolutely wild in bed! After this, wake up each day and realize how good you have things. A wonderful, loving husband, a good family life and all of the other things you may have! Take a positve outlook on things and you will stop giving him that other thing you mentioned. By doing this you will help yourself mostly but also your marriage too!\nGood luck!
799745
maybe your hubby's just have an immature behavior.. i guess he's a also a loner who has his own world.. many men are like that by the way.
764090
hon, you need to set down some boundries.\nNext time the subject comes up, look the person in the eye and confidently (fake the confidence if you have to) and say something like this.....\n" that is the past and we no longer need to talk about it, so please respect me and let by gones be by gones" Then quickly change the subject. There is NO reason that you need to put up with this. Get some personal backbone and stand up for yourself.\n\nYour husband should respect your feelings in this. If he doesn't then he is childish. Any man who lets his family humilate his wife isn't much of a man. A MAN takes care of his woman. A man puts his woman before other people's misguided ideas of what is a joke. A MAN's job is to stand up for his woman and make her feel safe.  Let him read this please. If he is mature he will say he needs to think about this and say he is sorry for making you feel so small. If he throws a fit, hon I am afraid you married a man without moral balls. \n\nNEVER let anyone mistreat you like this. It sounds like his family is confrontational. Don't ever lower yourself to their level. Keep your head up high even if you cry later. \n\nYou could be nasty and bring up mistakes they made in their lives. or you just say....ok you have aired his dirty laundry...does anyone else want to air their dirtly laundry next?"\n\nSometimes you have to use humor to get your point across, other times you have to use controlled power and conviction to stand up for yourself. \n\nYou are not over reacting. You are under reacting. Being angry or emotional with these people will just hurt you in the long run. I imagine they might laugh if you stood up and told them to stop then leave the room crying. Nor do you want to draw a battle line in the sand.  Handle this with wisdom and conviction. \n\nYou are braver than you can imagine. Be strong.
437241
Just tell him "I don't swing that way" and hope he gets the messasge. If he persists, be firm, tell him he's barking up the wrong tree. If he keeps on, punch him. If women could beat up men who do this to them, they would be punching out men all the time. It's the same thing, an unwanted advance.
388161
I wish I could tell you how to get him to listen.  He sounds like my late husband.  We were married for 40 years and he never really listened to me.  Once we were at a marriage counselor and I talked for about 5 minutes about how my husband didn't listen to me.  Then the counselor looked at my husband and said "what do you have to say about that"  and my husband responded "I wasn't listening"\nso going to a marriage counselor doesn't always work either.\n\nIn the end I began to think that my husband was frustrated by other people in his life and took it out on me.  He couldn't ignore his boss.  He couldn't tell his co-workers that they didn't know what they were talking about so he came home and did it to me.\n\nThe really bad part is that I came to believe that I was stupid and incompetent.  I put too much value in the way that he treated me. \n\nI took course on how to communicate.  I was told that I shouldn't say you did whatever but I should say I feel whatever.  He turned this against me and told me I was self-centered and I believed him.\n\nSo I can't tell you how to make him listen or how to communicate with him, but I can tell you that you must guard against feeling that something is wrong with you.
363554
i don't fight with my husband, i argue! lol. And he doesn't. grrrr. He's too agreeable. it's frustrating. When i argue with him, he waits till i cool down and sits me down to talk to me about my feelings. I have never gone to bed angry since we moved in together, (almost 3 years). So i think that you should not argue and wait till you're calm, then talk like you would if you were proposing an idea to your boss. (have points ready that you want to discuss, and stick to those) but just talk about your feelings, and what the other person could do to help the situation. (and maybe what you could do too!)
552573
My Mother in law is the same way. Does your husband know she does not like you? Does he stand up for you? THAT is what is important. This lady sounds way more than ridiculous. You can't have a car??? She knows she is in control and she is using that to her advantage. She WANTS you to leave your hubby........sounds like her goal is to make you miserable so you leave. Best advice? I KNOW this is hard but be as sweet as pie to her, almost sarcastic sweet. This will get to her more than anything. Talk with your husband, once he sets her strait that he loves you and there is nothing she can do to change that, things will get better! Good Luck
971576
Sounds like your husband comes from a rough family and still has some of their bad habits. I wouldn't try to get his family to like you. It's not your fault they are mean. It wouldn't matter how perfect you were, they are just not that good at being nice to others. If I were you, I would remember everything your family has taught you about being a good person and trust that. Just be the best person you were raised to be and maybe your example will help soften them over time. Maybe not. But at least you can be strong knowing that you are doing the right thing even if they are not. Do not judge yourself by their standards. They obviously aren't experts at being decent, so don't take what they say so seriously. Try thinking of them compassionately as children who were not given the right tools and don't know how to behave better. Most of all, be kind to yourself, even if others are not. Talk kindly to yourself and think about all your good qualities. When you are feeling hurt try to be patient with them. Remember, they can only hurt your feelings if you believe what they say. Make yourself strong and calm inside and you'll be OK. Think positive! Good luck to you!
663772
It sounds like you are very unhappy in your marriage. You need to find a lawyer. You have to be sure you are happy in this relationship - not just him. Good luck. I hope you find happiness.
126091
Someone has to give in. Either one is talking too much, or the other is not listening at all. \n\nCommunicate to your spouse that you have a part to play in this hardship between you and your spouse. If you're usually the talker, just listen. Bite your tongue when you have a retort.\n\nCalmly assess the problem together. No one can have an open and calm discussion when one of the parties are angry. So delay the discussion if you have to.\n\nBe honest with yourself. It takes two hands to clap. So admit fault, apologise and if possible, seek a counselor.\n\nPraying also helps. Good luck :)
430928
Dump him.  hahahaha just kidding.\n\nMaybe a few nights out with the girls will get him to stop taking you for granted, which is what I think you are telling me is going on.  When he starts to notice, don't be stubborn, don't deny it, say plainly, "Why shouldn't I?  You are taking me for granted!"  You might even walk out of the room to drive your point home.  Stay gone.\n\nGet in touch with him the next day and apologize for your "tantrum".  (if this is unlike you, all the better).  Let him know that you care about him and let him know you still want to do "special" things for him, but you can't be expected to stick around if he doesn't demonstrate his appreciation.\n\nDon't make a habit of fighting like this.  If he gets it, he gets it.  If he doesn't... well, I'm single. =)