how do i make my heart stop hurting after my wife left me please help me...?
605636
Only time and the realisation that you can live without her will stop your heart from hurting,surround yourself with friends and family and keep yourself busy sweetie,good luck.
759583
Cry as much as you need too. Reach out to others. Believe you aren't going to die from a broken heart and when you are ready keep your heart open to receiving lots of love and good wishes from others.
879267
You will NEVER feel the same..BUT you don't have to hurt...thinking about her and remembering her is wonderful....it will be painful for a time but if it lasts too long talk to a priest or get therapy. I lost 2 children and my father. It hurt like hell for years and years and years...BUT I got help also I decided THEY don't want me to suffer and I will see them again in HEAVEN.....so I no longer suffer. I talk up at the sky to them at night here and there..the times get  less often but they are everywhere.....do whatever makes you feel at peace.....but remember she loves you and doesn't want you hurting..rmemmber the good times and if it helps say you are sorry for the bad times..she can hear you and you will feel better!
715882
Dear Next,\n\nFood does not help.\nA new lover does not help.  \nShopping does not help.\n\nPeople mean well but they don't help.\n\nThe ONLY thing that helped me to heal from a very broken heart was to read the Bible from cover-to-cover.  I got laid off from my job after my husband of more than 20 years filed for divorce.  There was no work available in the area and I got 15 weeks of severance pay so I proceeded to read The Daily Walk Bible.\n\nIt was so good I couldn't put it down and I finished it in 90 days.  The divorce still went through shortly after our 25th anniversary but I was able to heal.  The Bible showed me how much my heavenly Father really loves me and better yet, He is not fickle.\n\nAre you familiar with The Father's Love Letter by Barry Adams?  It is quite beautiful and I'd be happy to paste it and or the link if you are interested.
637827
i am sorry you suffer i know how u feel cause i felt same when a guy broke up my heart long time ago you must move on cause she no love you it's hard but u will i advice you to go find other love spend time with new gf even u not feel in love with her but this is best way to forget about ur love best luck thank you
586199
Get over it, deal with the pain, and move on! I was married to a woman for 25 years, and one day when I came home from work, she had moved out and moved in with another man, just like that. It hurt  like crazy, but I dealt with the pain, and moved on. Never been happier in my entire life!!!
578987
Well it isn't any easier loosing a husband. It is hard, depending on why. If she left you for someone else and it's out of the blue to you it'll take awhile to get over the hurt. You might get over her but she left scars that will pop up the next relationship. You really need to deal with it now, caring baggage to the next one isn't the new woman in your life's fault. Putting away the pictures and anything that reminds you of her bit by bit. Anything that is hers and you know is important to her, mail it to her. Later on you'll regret anything you dispose of "just to hurt her back". If and when your up to it sell or give away the things that remind you of her. Good luck.
820230
Hi Dabby,\n\nLife is full of ups and downs.  Right now you are down but you have to get up.  Only time will heal you broken heart  no words that we write will solve you problem but they will definately encourage you.\n\nRight now what you need is forget about men.  Do something that you like the most.  Take a break from your routine life and go for a vacation if possible take some girlfriends with you and have a good time.  U have to make things work for your self dear.  Just give your self a well deserved break from all and do something that you have never done before i am not saying that you will forget all your problems but at least they will become light.  Basically keep yourself occupied just do something or the other.  \n\nSome relationships work some don't but the hope should always be there.  \n\nI wish you all the best in life.  Good Luck
502884
Blair,\n\nIt's normal to feel the way you do - you'll have a lot of anger and rage, and want to really get back at him.\n\nBut, it's been my experience that doing so will only cause more pain for EVERYONE involved, including yourself.\n\nYou've already been put through enough pain and humiliation, and you do NOT need to suffer any more than you already have.\n\nYou're a very smart lady for having ended the affair, and I'm sorry to say that the man you were with is NO prize at all.  You're lucky that he didn't divorce his wife and marry you.  You'd have been stuck with the BOOBY prize.  \n\nGo get professional help and get a good support group around you so that you can take the time to heal and recover from the emotional trauma and abuse you have allowed yourself to endure.  \n\nHe already sucked up three years of your life.  Don't let him continue to suck you into his madness and crazy life by continuing the cycle with more craziness.  Telling his wife won't be revenge at all.  Chances are very good that his wife knows and is suffering as well.  \n\nAnd you know what?  The best revenge will be when he sees that you're living your life as a proud, intelligent lady deserving of only the best, and that really - his attention to you as a married man was nothing but an insult to you.  You deserve a LOT better than what he strung you along for...don't let him sweet talk you into continuing one more time, etc.\n\nSorry, but, he's a dog.  Don't lay with dogs.
51798
I agree with Dragon on this one.  Yes you are heartbroken and yes it wil take some time.  They say divorce is like death.  The processes of grieving are very similar.  The only difference is that the one that you love is still alive and kicking.  Take this time to examin what you want out of life.  Appreciate this time alone and do things that you could not do when you were married.  Enjoy the lack of nagging and complaining.  And enjoy that you can act as you did before you got married.  Time heals all wounds and with this time, you have the ultimate chance to reexamine your goals and proiriities in life.  Take it one step at a time and you will be fine.  I know the pain that you are going through and I know that it hurts.  But trust me, your heart well eventually stop bledding and once that happens, chances are you will see that one true person that you are meant to spend your life with.
889108
the sooner you convince yourself that you refuse to feel agitated over something that has no future anyway, the sooner your broken heart would heal. i suggest whenever you miss him, remind yourself that he left without even saying goodbye to marry some bitch and that you should be mad for that. also, try to focus on the good side of your husband, appreciate what you have instead of wishing  for something that's not yours and would never be yours.
505826
...been there brother...it hurts worse than anyone will ever understand.\n\nFriends and family are great, but you know as well as I do, that you can only be around them so much.  Sometimes you just need time alone.  Try not to spend too much time alone.  I know, I still struggle with that and my divorce was final 6 months ago.  \n\nMan, I could write a book to you right now.  It is just SO hard dude.  \n\nWhatever you do, don't spend all your time thinking about all the great times, the great traits of your wife and, most importantly, beating yourself up over the situation, (kicking yourself over anything and everything you could have done better, blaming yourself for not making her happier and feeling like you failed).  THIS IS WAY EASIER TO SAY THAN TO DO!  I know.  This is the trap that I fell in and caused me to become WAY, WAY depressed.\n\nYou are gonna ride a roller coaster of up and down emotion for the next few years.  The low times are gonna be LOW, LOW, and the high times will be pretty good, believe it or not.\n\nWriting has become my happy place.  Actually, it doesn't really make me happy, it just releaves me of the pain that I am experiencing at the moment.  I don't always write about the divorce, feelings or depression.  Sometimes, I write about current events, events that really touched me, friends, etc.  It really doesn't matter.  Writing just gives me an outlet to release emotion without bothering others.
670252
Pick up your broken heart and move on.  Pull yourself together man! =)
752989
When someone up and tells you it's over, here's the thing. It was over a long time before that. He just happened to take that moment to announce it. If he cheated on you and he has another girl, the best thing to do is the most painful thing...move on..don't see him and don't talk to him. He's not worth your time.\n\n I know it's so painful..I don't think there is any worse pain than a broken heart. Here's the best remedy I ever heard of for that kind of pain. The thing that can help is to "give it away."  You can replace it by helping someone, helping children, or volunteering for anything. Turn your pain into something positive like this and you'll see how quickly it goes away.\n\nNo kidding!\n\nBest Wishes!
841534
I know it's hard, believe me! It's not something you get over in one night, or one year. It takes alot of time and you have to ask yourself if you are willing to give yourself that time? Is the marriage good now? Is it worth working on? Your wife needs to work on rebuilding your trust. Is she willing to do whatever it takes to help you along with this? It really seems to me that she is, because 20yrs is a long time that you both have invested in. I know you are in pain right now, your wife has been in pain for the last 10yrs thinking about what she did and has lived with knowing that one day you would find out and maybe end the life she really wants. And that is to be wife and a mother to YOUR kids. I am not making excuses for her because what she did was wrong! I know you need validation right now and you have every right to feel that way. You (I am sure) are a great dad. So for right now, focus on that. Time will heal...I promise!
388796
Work on what got it to that point. I had my wife cheat on me. And I left. It took all I had to do it. We have had alot of problems since then, basically I don't feel like she shows me respect or respects me. Point is it depends on how your husband feels about you. I would take my ex back in a heartbeat if I thought she really wanted to work it out and really felt bad about it. In this situation you'll have to eat alot of crow but if he loves you he'll work with you. Good luck I hope it works out.
969122
The key to this is to keep your focus on... you.\n\nI'm sorry he broke your heart.  It's tough. My fiance broke off our relationship three weeks before the wedding-- and we worked together.  Turns out he was involved with someone else and like your guy,  he was "on top of the world."  I was underneath it somewhere.\n\n But, if you keep the focus on you, you'll be working on your depression.\n\nI embrace spirituality... not religious... and when you see this guy, maybe you can just say to yourself, "I forgive you... and I release you to the universe"  \n\nYou concentrate on being the best person you can be.  The rest... will take care of itself.\n\nOh, and take the high road.  Never let him see you depressed.  (Therapists may not agree with this,  but ultimately, it made me feel better)\n\nGood luck.