WHY why Why in the world do women stay in abusive /dysfunctional relationships?
600128
well done, it needed to be said.  but look you said it yourself too 'i was in an abusive situation once...it took me some time (as i was younger and less experienced)'  \n\ndo you realize that a LOT of people on here are teenagers who are at that 'younger and less [life] experienced' phase that you were at?\n\nit's good that you are here to shout sense into people..sorry to hear of your abusive encounter before. hope as many people as possible read your post here today and get some thinkin going on!
606041
I cant answer this question because Im trying to understand that also.To many times women will stay with the guy that doesnt treat them right or make them feel cared for etc. and they dont want to find that guy that is waiting to be given a chance to treat someone with everything thier heart can put out.They would rather sit at home and complain than do anything about it,just so you know,that wonderful charming guy is trying to find you but cant because you are still in a relationship..... best wishes
653000
Women like a challenge. They are unable to accept men as they are. They always want to make us over & later ask whatever happened to that person they first fell in love with?\nBe yourself & don't give the matter another thought. Some women can not believe they are not irrestible. It shatters them & so the anger
684928
Because some women are insecure, petty and shallow.  We should be helping each other out instead of trashing each other.
1018707
Abusive guys are often very sneaky, when they meet you, they are usually very polite and nice, everything they know you want to hear, they say. But, then when they know they have your love and you're in a position where you depend on them, specially financially, then they turn into monsters. And, girls are often threatened with the prospect of death, disfigurement, or threats made toward beloved family members, should they leave or break-up with them. It is very scarey for any girl in that situation, It's not just as easy as it sounds when someone says "just leave, don't put up with that" most of the time she'd love to get away, but has to defend her reasons for staying so she doesn't feel that she is viewed as a fool.
261799
They are the World's BIGGEST COWARDS!!  Most of the time the will not fight a man.  Isn't that crazy?  The reason I could possibly think of has to do with some deep rooted hurt by a woman in their younger years.  A mother's lack of attention the mental and physical abuse from a woman.  Who knows they are a waste of space and some PHSYCO A S S SICKOS!!!
359150
Are these girls still living? \nAs long as women still think it is normal to be beaten up by men who profess to "Love" them they will never be fully emancipated. Come on ladies it's the 21st century for gods sake!
743442
When we are in love we are willing to look past things-this doesn't mean that it is necessarily going to be a good result.  We see hope for a better future, we wish for the best, and we are more likely to forgive.  Unfortunately for those who are emotionally and physically abused, their self esteem continues to deteriorate until there is barely anything left.  When someone feels this low it is hard for them to realize they deserve better-they need good friends to keep encouraging them to be brave and to walk away from the abuse.  They have to take control over their own lives and start building themselves back up again.  This is very common - My tip-don't let abuse get away on you-at the first sign walk away-every woman deserves better!
485739
Yes they do because they are stupid and undeserving of pity. If they are too stupid to leave when someone beats them they deserve it or like it. Most wiil say Im scared to leave or I have nowhere to go or but hes a good provider or he takes care of the kids etc.... Its all bs. I had 3 ex gfs slap me before and I walked out and never spoke to them again, I dont put up with abuse but some sick and twisted people like it. Feel no pity for them as they arent even human, even a dog will try to run away if it knows its going to get beat.
974897
Because they are insecure creatures and do not believe they are worth being loved in a true and pure manner.  The best way to handle a woman is to be manly with her plain and simple.  I call it "being Sinatra" ... After you practice being a take charge type of guy she will respect you....Stop asking a woman "what do you want to do?" and start making plans and sticking to them...That's what women want and that's what they respect because they only knew from what they saw their daddy doing, and he was always in charge of her.....Once they get older they find all these mamby pamby boys that are always trying to be nice.  Be nice when you need to be and be manly all the time.  good luck damn it.
224151
Obviously they don't like themselves at all - so they take it out on the ones that are closest to them . I bet that the man thinks and wants someone do that to him . You know like people who hit themselves - it's to let the other person know that they are already hurting (inside), so it does'nt matter if they hurt them or not . Like  " watch this everyone I can be abusive ! "
902297
Maybe the money? But I think its mostly because they think of themselves as victims. Maybe daddy was a drunk, and so they get stuck in a rut which will lead nowhere. Women who hang with drunks are dating losers. Doing so makes them losers as well. Sad.
1077744
have watched so many friends make so many bad choices about the men in their lives.\n\nBut that's not really my business. Except for in cases of abuse, I've known to keep my mouth shut. Physical abuse is obvious, and demands to be addressed. I don't think anyone can claim to love a person, and then politely pretend to not notice black eyes.\n\nBut the topic is never as easy to raise at it ought to be. To watch her in physical pain hurt me deeply, but for her to respond to my concern with anger nearly killed me. My heart broke when this rational, intelligent woman looked me in the eye and actually uttered that sick joke of a cliché -- "But I love him."\n\nThere are a hundred ways to argue with that statement. None of them will work. For all of the women determined to stay in violent relationships, there is at least one person who has tried everything to get her out.\n\nI think why they stay is apparent. The abuse never starts out as physical. He doesn't break her jaw on the first date. If he did, he'd be a straight out psychopath, and not your everyday neighbor/wife-beater. \n\nMen, I understand and appreciate that the vast majority of you do not beat up women. But, the bottom-line is there are far too many of you fuckers who do. Perhaps it is unfair, but I am also left to wonder how many potential wife-beaters are out there, just waiting for a woman to stick around long enough. \n\nBy the time a man full-on hits a woman, he is comfortable that she's not going anywhere. He's confident because he has already put her through a courtship full of gradually increasing psychological torture. As any good misogynist knows, a broken woman is not born, she is cultivated.\n\nCareful observation can often identify an abusive man within 10 minutes of talking to him. Sometimes, it takes longer. But, by Date #3, I guarantee he has thrown out at least one neon-sign of a clue that he will someday drag her by her hair. \n\nSome women will dismiss the warning signs as being insignificant. Or, worse, an infatuated women could see the character defects as endearing. She may find his jealousy to be charming, or determine that his rudeness to the waiter is manly, in a take-no-shit kind of way.\n\nThe goal of a batterer is to convince this woman that she cannot live without him. He accomplishes this by stifling anything about her that is her own. With an abusive man, what begins as a jealousy will inevitably turn into raging paranoia. At first, she may find it sweet that he really wants her to be with him, and not join her friends after work. Soon, her friends will stop asking, knowing she "can't" go. She'll be grateful, because the lack of an invitation is easier than making up excuses. Eventually he will cut her off completely from her friends and family, leaving her with no support outside of him. She will be utterly dependent on him, which, of course, was his entire plan.\n\nShe will love him, and she will need him, because he will be all that she has.\n\nBy the time the actual physical abuse occurs, it's too late. The physical violence is simply the culmination of a long and carefully planned ego-trip. Proof, in a maniacal frenzy, that he can do whatever the hell he wants.\n\nIt is far too late for her friends and family to help her. Where were they when she said (again) that she couldn't attend the [fill-in-the-blank]? Why didn't they speak up when he openly insulted her at the last function they did make it to?\n\nThey were where I have been: biting their tongues, knowing it's not their business, and waiting for something bad enough to happen that could justify butting in.\n\nThey will wait for a bruise, and she will say "but I love him." Their hands will be tied, and their hearts will break.
1174429
Maybe it's because girls like that find really caring guys and take advantage of them, or treat them like they're not worth anything, so then those guys clam up and are afraid to trust anyone anymore, then the rest of us really caring girls, if we want any companionship at all, are forced to associate ourselves with those "jerks."\nIt's a vicious cycle.
883656
Because these guys don't start out disrespecting them.  They usually treat them like princesses in the beginning... and these guys add an excitement to the relationship that you don't get with the nice guys.\n\nBy the time they start treating the girl like crap so she's so far in she doesn't really realize it.  This is also how girls wind up in abusive relationships.  Even the strongest of women can fall into this pit of despair.\n\nI've had happen to me.  Bu I ditched that jerk after a year and am now engaged to a sweet, loving man.  \n\nWomen just have to figure it out for themselves.. Unfortunately.
1066294
I think women lose respect for themselves because, as you said, men mistreat us. However, I know not all women have been mistreated, and not all men mistreat women. \n\nBut because so many women have been mistreated, they lose faith in men and lose faith in themselves. Women need to be treated with respect and the love they deserve. If this doesn't happen, I think there will be more problems liske divorce, abused women, and aborted children.
63068
Studies have shown that men who are abusive rarely change.  As much as you may love him, and as much as he may love you, it's not worth risking your life to be with him.