Who got the best "Yo Mamma Jokes?"?
599326
Yo mamma'a so fat jesus couldnt even lift her spirits. Or Yo mamma's so dumb when she saw a yellow bus go by with white kids in it she said STOP THAT TWINKIE!!
554043
Yo mama so fat when her beeper goes off, people thought she was backing up\n\nYo mama so fat her nickname is "Lardo"\n\nYo mama so fat she eats Wheat Thicks.\n\nYo mama so fat were in her right now\n\nYo mama so fat people jog around her for exercise\n\nYo mama so fat she went to the movies and sat next to everyone\n\nYo mama so fat she has been declared a natural habitat for Condors\n\nYo mamma so fat you haveta roll over twice to get off her...\n\nYo mama so fat she was floating in the ocean and spain claimed her for then new world\n\nYo mama so fat she lay on the beach and people run around yelling Free Willy\n\nYo mama so fat when you get on top of her your ears pop!\n\nYo mama so fat when she has wants someone to shake her hand, she has to give directions!\n\nYo mama so fat she goes to a resturant, looks at the menu and says "okay!"\n\nYo mama so fat when she wears a yellow raincoat, people said "Taxi!"\n\nYo mama so fat she had to go to Sea World to get baptized\n\nYo mama so fat she got to iron her pants on the driveway\n\nYo mama so fat she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller\n\nYo mama so fat she got to pull down her pants to get into her pockets\n\nYo mama so fat when she tripped over on 4th Ave, she landed on 12th\n\nYo mama so fat when she bungee jumps, she brings down the bridge too\n\nYo mama so fat the highway patrol made her wear "Caution! Wide Turn"\n\nYo mama so fat when she sits around the house, she SITS AROUND THE HOUSE!\n\nYo mama so fat when she steps on a scale, it read "one at a time, please"\n\nYo mama so fat when she sits on my face I can't hear the stereo.\n\nYo mama so fat she fell in love and broke it.\n\nYo mama so fat when she gets on the scale it says to be continued.\n\nYo mama so fat when she gets on the scale it says we don't do livestock.\n\nYo mama so fat her neck looks like a pair of hot dogs!\n\nYo mama so fat she's got her own area code!\n\nYo mama so fat she looks like she's smuggling a Volkswagon!\n\nYo mama so fat God couldn't light Earth until she moved!\n\nYo mama so fat NASA has to orbit a satellite around her!\n\nYo mama so fat whenever she goes to the beach the tide comes in!\n\nYo mama so fat when she plays hopscotch, she goes New York, L.A., Chicago...\n\nYo mama so fat she's got Amtrak written on her leg.\n\nYo mama so fat even Bill Gates couldn't pay for her liposuction!\n\nYo mama so fat her legs is like spoiled milk - white & chunky!\n\nYo mama so fat I had to take a train and two buses just to get on the her good side!\n\nYo mama so fat she wakes up in sections!\n\nYo mama so fat when she goes to an amusement park, people try to ride HER!\n\nYo mama so fat she sat on a quarter and a booger shot out of george washington's nose.\n\nYo mama so fat she rolled over 4 quarters and it made a dollar!\n\nYo mama so fat when she lies on the beach no one else gets sun!\n\nYo mama so fat when she bunje jumps she goes straight to hell!\n\nYo mama so fat when she jumps up in the air she gets stuck!!!\n\nYo mama so fat she's got more Chins than a Hong Kong phone book!\n\nYo mama so fat that her senior pictures had to be arial views!\n\nYo mama so fat she's on both sides of the family!\n\nYo mama so fat everytime she walks in high heels, she strikes oil!\n\nYo mama so fat she fell and made the Grand Canyon!\n\nYo mama so fat she sat on the beach and Greenpeace threw her in!\n\nYo mama so fat even her clothes have stretch marks!\n\nYo mama so fat she has a wooden leg with a kickstand!\n\nYo mama so fat she has to use a VCR as a beeper!\n\nYo mama so fat she broke her leg, and gravy poured out!\n\nYo mama so fat when she rides in a hot air balloon, it looks like she's wearin tights!\n\nYo mama so fat she got hit by a parked car! \n\nYo mama so fat they have to grease the bath tub to get her out!\n\nYo mama so fat she has a run in her blue-jeans!\n\nYo mama so fat when she gets on the scale it
292948
Yeah that is pretty lame! Try some Joke websites. Personally I like Yo momma jokes. No, not b/c I'm ghetto, but b/c they're funny! Anyway, any jokes I could tell you would probably offend SOMEONE out there! (Even the sex jokes.) But if I think of a good clean one, I'll edit it in later.
895711
This joke goes back so far, that back then, when the doctors were practicing medicine, they were PRACTICING!!\n\nSecond opinion:  Yo momma is still dirt ugly !!
1148483
Sure you dont mean yo mama's a joke?
671910
Johnny asking Jerry Lee Lewis "Does your Momma know you're out?"  Jerry-"Yeah, she knows."\n\nWhen Johnny asks June to marry him on the bus & she says "Number one never propose to a girl on a bus." & Johnny says "I aint asking you again" & she says "Good, I hate reruns!"
658454
Yo mama so stupid she got locked in a grocery store and starved!\nYo mama so stupid she sold her car for gasoline money\nYo mama so stupid she sits on the TV, and watches the couch!
415497
Yo Mama Jokes [collected by Lamda]\n-----------------------------------------\n\n\nYo mama is so ugly:\n\n\nYo mama so ugly when she joined an ugly contest, they said "Sorry, no professionals."\n\nYo mama so ugly she looks out the window and got arrested for mooning.\n\nYo mama so ugly just after she was born, her mother said "What a treasure!" and her father said "Yes, let's go bury it."\n\nYo mama so ugly they push her face into dough to make gorilla cookies.\n\nYo mama so ugly they filmed "Gorillas in the Mist" in her shower\n\nYo mama so ugly they didn't give her a costume when she tried out for Star Wars.\n\nYo mama so ugly instead of putting the bungee cord around her ankle, they put it around her neck\n\nYo mama so ugly she gets 364 extra days to dress up for Halloween.\n\nYo mama so ugly when she walks into a bank, they turn off the surveillence cameras\n\nYo mama so ugly her mom had to be drunk to breast feed her\n\nYo mama so ugly her mom had to tie a steak around her neck to get the dogs to play with her.\n\nYo mama so ugly when she walks down the street in September, people say "Wow, is it Halloween already?"\n\nYo mama so ugly the government moved Halloween to her birthday.\n\nYo mama so ugly that if ugly were bricks she'd have her own projects.\n\nYo mama so ugly they pay her to put her clothes on in strip joints.\n\nYo mama so ugly she made an onion cry.\n\nYo mama so ugly they filmed "Gorillas in the Mist" in her shower!\n\nYo mama so ugly when they took her to the beautician it took 12 hours. . .for a quote!\n\nYo mama so ugly they put her in dough and made monster cookies!\n\nYo mama so ugly she tried to take a bath the water jumped out!\n\nYo mama so ugly she looks out the window and gets arrested!\n\nYo mama so ugly even Rice Krispies won't talk to her!\n\nYo mama so ugly Ted Dansen wouldn't date her!\n\nYo mama so ugly for Halloween she trick or treats on the phone!\n\nYo mama so ugly she turned Medusa to stone!\n\nYo mama so ugly The NHL banned her for life\n\nYo mama so ugly she gets 364 extra days to dress up for Halloween!\n\nYo mama so ugly the government moved Halloween to her birthday!\n\nYo mama so ugly if ugly were bricks she'd have her own projects!\n\nYo mama so ugly they pay her to put her clothes on in strip joints\n\nYo mama so ugly she made an onion cry!\n\nYo mama so ugly people go as her for Halloween.\n\nYo mama so ugly that when she sits in the sand on the beach, cats try to bury her.\n\nYo mama so ugly she scares the roaches away.\n\nYo mama so ugly we have to tie a steak around your neck so the dog will play with her!\n\nYo mama so ugly I heard that your dad first met her at the pound.\n\nYo mama so ugly that if ugly were bricks she'd have her own projects.\n\nYo mama so ugly that your father takes her to work with him so that he doesn't have to kiss her goodbye.\n\n\n---x---\n\n\nYo mama is so stupid:\n\n\nYo mama so stupid it took her 2 hours to watch 60 minutes\n\nYo mama so stupid when she saw the NC-17 (under 17 not admitted) sign, she went home and got 16 friends\n\nYo mama so stupid when your dad said it was chilly outside, she ran outside with a spoon\n\nYo mama so stupid she told everyone that she was "illegitiment" because she couldn't read\n\nYo mama so stupid that she puts lipstick on her head just to make-up her mind\n\nYo mama so stupid she hears it's chilly outside so she gets a bowl\n\nYo mama so stupid you have to dig for her IQ!\n\nYo mama so stupid she got locked in a grocery store and starved!\n\nYo mama so stupid it took her 2 hours to watch 60 Minutes!\n\nYo mama so stupid that she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order!\n\nYo mama so stupid she could trip over a cordless phone!\n\nYo mama so stupid she sold her car for gasoline money!\n\nYo mama so stupid she bought a solar-powered flashlight!\n\nYo mama so stupid she thinks a quarterback is a refun
404142
i think this one is funny:\nA little Mexican boy goes into the kitchen where his mom is\n baking. He puts his hand in the flour and wipes it all over\n his face. "Mom, look, I'm a white boy."\n\n His mom slaps him in the face and says "Go show your\n father".\n\n He goes to his dad in the living room and says "Look dad,\n I'm a white boy."\n\n His dad slaps him hard in the face and says "Go show your\n grandmother."\n\n The boy goes in his grandmothers room and says "Mira,\n abuelita, I'm a white boy " His grandmother slaps him in\n the face and sends him back to his mother.\n\n His mother says "See. Did you learn anything from that?"\n\n To which the boy replies, "Sure did. I have only been white\n for five minutes and I already hate you Mexicans."
1100950
fat momma jokes always go over well, except when it's yo momma. just work on your delivery.
699568
LMFAO :)) Where do you get all these great jokes? Absolutely hilarious
548455
YO MOMMA SO FAT HER BLOOD TYPE IS RAGU \nYo momma so fat, when she turns around, people give her a welcome back party! \n\nYo momma so fat she saw a yellow bus full of white kids and said, "STOP THAT TWINKIE!! " \n\nYo momma so fat, when she runs she makes the cd played skip, at the radio station!!! \n\nYo momma so fat, when she went out side in a red dress, everyone yelled, "HEY, KOOL-AID!" \n\nYo momma fat she jumped up in the air and got stuck. \n\nYo momma is so fat her waist size is equator! \n\nYo momma so fat she went bungee jumping and went strait to hell! \n\nYo momma so fat shes on both side of the family. \n\nYo momma so fat when she walks around in Texas in high heels, she strikes oil! \n\nYo momma so fat, the last time she saw 90210 was on the scale! \n\nYo momma so fat that when God said, "Let there be light," he told her to move her fat ole ass over! \n\nYo momma so fat she fell in love and broke it. \n\nYo momma so fat when her beeper goes off, people thought she was backing up. \n\nYo momma so fat even Bill Gates couldn't pay for her liposuction! \n\nYo momma so fat she wakes up in sections! \n\nYo momma so fat when she goes to an amusement park, people try to ride HER! \n\nYo momma so fat when she lies on the beach no one else gets sun! \n\nYo momma so fat she's got more chins than a Hong Kong phone book! \n\nYo momma so fat she has a wooden leg with a kickstand! \n\nYo momma so fat when she gets on the scale it says, "To be continued." \n\nYo momma so fat her nickname is, "DAY-UM!" \n\nYo momma so fat she eats Wheat Thicks. \n\nYo momma so fat we're in her right now. \n\nYo momma so fat people jog around her for exercise. \n\nYo momma so fat, she went to the movies and sat next to everyone. \n\nYo momma so fat she has been declared a natural habitat for Condors. \n\nYo mamma so fat, you have to roll over twice to get off her... \n\nYo momma so fat she was floating in the ocean and Spain claimed her for the new world. \n\nYo momma so fat she lay on the beach and people run around yelling, "Free Willy!" \n\nYo momma so fat when you get on top of her your ears pop! \n\nYo momma so fat when she has sex, she has to give directions! \n\nYo momma so fat, she goes to a resturant, looks at the menu and says, "Okay!" \n\nYo momma so fat when she wears a yellow raincoat, people say, "Taxi!" \n\nYo momma so fat she had to go to Sea World to get baptized. \n\nYo momma so fat, she got to iron her pants on the driveway. \n\nYo momma so fat I've known her all my life ... and I still haven't seen ALL of her! \n\nYo momma so fat she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller. \n\nYo momma so fat she got to pull down her pants to get into her pockets. \n\nYo momma so fat when she tripped over on 4th Ave, she landed on 12th. \n\nYo momma so fat when she bungee jumps, she brings down the bridge too. \n\nYo momma so fat the highway patrol made her wear, "Caution! Wide Turn." \n\nYo momma so fat when she sits around the house, she SITS AROUND THE HOUSE! \n\nYo momma so fat when she steps on a scale, it read, "One at a time, please." \n\nYo momma so fat when she sits on my face I can't hear the stereo. \n\nYo momma so fat her neck looks like a pair of hot dogs! \n\nYo momma so fat she's got her own area code! \n\nYo momma so fat she looks like she's smuggling a Volkswagen! \n\nYo momma so fat God couldn't light Earth till she moved! \n\nYo momma so fat NASA has to orbit a satellite around her! \n\nYo momma so fat, whenever she goes to the beach the tide comes in! \n\nYo momma so fat when she plays hopscotch, she goes New York, L.A., Chicago... \n\nYo momma so fat she's got Amtrak written on her leg. \n\nYo momma so fat , her legs are like spoiled milk - white & chunky! \n\nYo momma so fat I had to take a train and two buses just to get on the bitch's good side! \n\nYo momma so fat she sat on a
402870
these yo mamma jokes in another question\n\nYo momma's so dumb when she saw under 17 not admitted sign she went home and got 16 friends\nYo momma's so poor each night she goes to KFC to lick other folks fingers\nYo momma's so old one of her pets was on on Noahs Ark\nYo momma's so ugly for Halloween she trick or treats on the phone\nYo momma's so dumb she passed by YMCA and said hey look they spelled MACYs wrong\nYo momma's so poor people rob her house for practice\nYo momma's so old her birth certificate is in Roman numerals\nYo momma's so poor she married young just to get the rice \nyo mamma so fat, that when she jumps for joy, she gets stuck!\nyo mamma so fat, that she needs to use a bookmark, to find her belly button\nyo mamma so fat that when she walks by the television screen, you miss 3 seasons of friends
833570
It's about time someone came up with a new blonde joke. This is hilarous. I would have never guessed what she was going to say at the end. Very good. I'll give you a 10 on the scale of 1-10. You also got a thumbs up. Great joke...got any more..?
221179
Yo mama so stupid that she puts lipstick on her head just to make-up her mind.\n\nYo mama so stupid she hears it's chilly outside so she gets a bowl.\n\nYo mama so stupid that she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order!\n\nYo mama so stupid she bought a solar-powered flashlight!\n\nYo mama so stupid she thinks a quarterback is a refund!\n\nYo mama so stupid when she read on her job application to not write below the dotted line she put "O.K."\n\nYo mama so stupid she thinks Fleetwood Mac is a new hamburger at McDonalds!\n\nYo mama so stupid when the computer said "press any key to continue" she couldn't find the any key. \n \nYo mama so stupid she got a doughnut and returned it cause it had a hole in it.
18614
Yo mama's so fat, I had to take a train and two busses just to get on her good side. \nYo mama's so fat, when she hauls ass, she has to make two trips. \nYo mama's so fat, when she hauls ass, she has friends come help. \nYo mama's so fat, I've got to tell two snaps just to cover her fat ass. \nYo mama's so fat, she's 36-24-36... but that's her forearm, neck, and thigh! \nYo mama's so fat, she's 36-24-36... but that's in feet. \nYo mama's so fat, they had to grease a door frame and hold a Twinkie on the other side to get her through. \nYo mama's so fat, she can lay down and stand up and her height doesn't change. \nYo mama's so fat, when she dances, she makes the band skip. \nYo mama's so fat, when she walks across the living room, the radio skips. \nYo mama's so fat, when she played hide-n-go-seek, she hid behind a water tower. \nYo mama's so fat, the horse on her Polo shirt is real. \nYo mama's so fat, the horse on her Jordache jeans is real. \nYo mama's so fat, she's not kidding when she says "I'm so hungry I could eat a horse!" \nYo mama's so fat, on Halloween she says "Trick or meatloaf!" \nYo mama's so fat, on Halloween she trick or treats two houses at a time. \nYo mama's so fat, when she opens the refrigerator, it says "I give up!" \nYo mama's so big, she uses the interstate for a Slip `n Slide. \nYo mama's so big, she reached in her pocket and handed me a CD, a Compact Dishwasher. \nYo mama's so big, when you climb on top of her your ears pop. \nYo mama's so big, she thought Barnum & Bailey were clothing designers. \nYo mama's so big, when she bent down to tie her shoes, her face got burnt from re-entry. \nYo mama's so big, she whistles bass. \nYo mama's so big, she uses bowling balls for earrings. \nYo mama's so big, that they had to change "One size fit's all" to "One size fits most" \nYo mama's so big, when she went to the airport and said she wanted to fly they stamped Goodyear on her and sent her out to the runway. \nYo mama's so big, when I fingered her I lost a watch and two rings! \nYo mama's so big, when she goes in the water at the beach she changes the tide. \nYo mama's so big, when she stands up the sun goes out. Yo mama's got a 4 dollar weave and don't know when to leave. \nYo mama's got 1 leg longer than other and they call her call her hip hop. \nYo mama's got 1 toe & 1 knee and they call her Tony. \nYo mama's got 3 toes and 3 knees and they call her Toni Tone Tony. \nYo mama's got a wait problem, she can't wait to eat. \nYo mama's got an eating disorder, she be eating dis order, dat order, she be eating all the damn orders! \nYo mama only got one finger and runs around stealing key rings. \nYo mama's got Play-Doh teeth. \nYo mama's got sideburns on her chest. \nYo mama's got a bald head with a part and sideburns. \nYo mama's got a metal afro with rusty sideburns. \nYo mama's got an afro with a turn signal. \nYo mama's got 3 tongues and talks like this, like this, like this. \nYo mama's got a wheelchair with 5-Star rims and a clutch. \nYo mama's got a peanut butter wig with jelly sideburns. \nYo mama's got a leather wig with suede sideburns. \nYo mama's got an eagle's nest wig.
713527
Yo Momma is so stupid she climbed over a clear glass wall just to see what was on the other side.\n\n Yo Momma is so poor when she was kicking one of those empty cans down the street, I walked up to her and asked, "What are you doing?" She replied, "I'm movin'!"\n\n Yo Momma is so dumb she took a spoon to the superbowl.\n\n Yo Momma is so fat that when she jumped into the air and got stuck. \n\n Yo Momma is so fat that when she jumped into the ocean to go diving, the whales came up to her singing, "We are family! Even though you're bigger than me!"\n\n Yo Momma is so fat that when she went to Japan the Sumo Wrestlers came around to her shouting, "We are family, sister!"\n\n Yo Momma is so ugly that when she went to go enter the yearly Ms. Ugly Halloween pagent, the judges said, "Sorry, ma'am. No professionals allowed."\n\nHow is that? Appropriate.