i am young and beautiful,5 years younger than my husband & he adores me but i am scared of losing that someday
605489
Remember Ursula Andress, the beautiful Swedish actress who was a Bond girl?  Look at her today.  Look at any beautiful woman from 10,20,30,40 years ago, they were all stunning, but we all age, we all lose that youthful beauty eventually.  Have you ever met someone who was very attractive then got to know them and found that their character was so unpleasant it made their physical appearance ugly?  Not only is physical beauty something that is transient, it really is in the eye of the beholder.  Real and lasting beauty lies in who you are, the way you express your self.  Think about the people you just like to be around; not because they 'look' good, but because they are fun, calming, sympathetic, vibrant, wise, amusing... qualities which can't be bought.  Many people believe that those who have beauty, good health or wealth must be the happiest.  It's not true is it?  Look at Micheal Jackson, Kate Moss.  The issue here is low self-esteem.  If you're self-esteem is based on your appearance it's no surprise you feel insecure, that is not a firm foundation for self-worth.  It is really sad that you would feel threatened by sharing the attention and affection of your own child with your husband.  Think about it.  I would recommend that you seek the help of a good therapist to help you get to the bottom of why you have this fragile self-esteem.  You need to build yourself up...from the inside.  I wish you all the best.
1059137
Stacy,\n\nWhen you've spent as much time with someone you love as you have and during that time also struggle together through various dependencies then even those struggles become things we tend to hang on to, despite the bad times associated with them. They become a connection to what we learn to perceive as our own reality so we hang on to them because we find hope or security in them even when that apparent reality is in fact not healthy or secure at all. You've made changes in your personal life obviously to discard some of those dependencies while your significant other has not. Yet you hang on to the one dependency that in the last 5 years has been a constant in your life and that is him, his very presence of being there close to you, touchable and reachable. You still see each other, you sleep together and you do this because you choose to look past his unwillingness to change. Why? Because for you, despite the past, you still try to find hope in a situation that seems to never offer any in return and you can't see yourself either giving up or drastically changing your life to leave it all behind. Maybe this is because you feel you have put so much into it and because by still being with him in certain ways it allows you to believe it may all change. Or, maybe you're just afraid to look to a future of starting over and rebuilding your life without him. Starting over can always be a scary proposition for any of us and just taking the first step is the most scary of all. Not unlike when a child pulls themselves up to the coffee table and for the very first time takes that single step without holding on. We risk falling down but if we measure our risks to minimize the fall then we find security in that and pull ourselves up and take another step. Reading all that you've written and having somewhat experienced similar situations I would be inclined to believe that for you to move on, as you want to do, you truly need a whole new start. New surroundings, new friends and new opportunity and again in my experience I've found the best way to do that is to put distance between myself and the past somewhere new and start fresh in life. Maybe this is for you too or at least something to consider. Scary thought? Sure it is but for someone who's obviously been through as much as you have then I suspect you're a strong young woman who is more than capable of doing so. I will hope for the best for you and should you need a friend in the future then all you have to do is reach out.\n\nBest Wishes Always
1093725
You need to realize that your not really falling in love with him but that you still have a crush on him and that your feelings are based upon the past and not on your current life.  He may be a wonderful guy but the reality of it is you really have no idea if you two could ever really be together and be happy together like you and your husband are.  The best way to deal with this is just to keep reminding yourself how lucky you are to have the life you do and stop focusing on what you can't/ don't have.
340238
Age is just a number. If everything is right then I would not worry about it. My husband is 7 years younger than myself and I act a lot younger than him...lol
237403
First of all, your self esteem shouldn't be achieved or sustained by male attention. You should know that you are attractive and sexy simply by being you. If you don't feel that way, then you need to find out some good ways to achieve that feeling. Maybe working out, or going to the salon and getting some pampering or simply buying an outfit you really like. \n  But if you feel like your husband has taken you for granted and you need some compliments to make you feel appreciated, then you should find a way to communicate that to him. I know when I feel that way with my husband, I tend to get sarcastic and call myself the house-troll/slave. But usually, I"ll ask for what I need from him. Because I know that I don't fall all over him the way I used to either and its easy to get caught up in life and forget that other's need to be appreciated and wanted.\n   Your husband loves you and may not be as sensitive to your needs for compliments. But I'm sure there are many ways he shows how much he cares for you that perhaps are more substantial?  And if not, don't be afraid to ask for what you need. But going to another person(online or not) to get warm words to make you feel good is not going to help your marriage....\nI've also found a good BJ never hurt in the obtaining compliment/adoration department >>:)
315363
You need to stop this fantasy ASAP. All you are doing is creating drama - You are either bored in your marriage, or are having problems that you'd rather avoid. Maybe you're thinking he can get you out of a situation, or "rescue" you in a sense.....Maybe you're not happy with where you are at in life at 34, and are trying to relive certain aspects of your younger life, before you made the choice to become a married woman...? Whatever the case, please recognize this for what it is......An unrealistic diversion from your REAL life. You can't possibly fix whatever is going on with your marriage until you devote to it 100% - And the preoccupation with this young (kid) will interfere with that. My advice would be to come back to reality, before you take this attraction to some other level, and come back asking what you should do then........
761964
My husband of 16 years definitely makes me feel loved every day by helping me without me having asked him; by being there for me when I need a friend, not trying to fix it, but listening when I need to talk.\n\nI've had boyfriends who tried too hard, and ended up making me feel crowded and like I couldn't move without them being right there.  The more intensely I felt like he was hovering, the more scared I felt - both of him being too dependent and that possibly he would turn controlling.\n\nIt's knowing that my husband shows me he loves me in little ways every day that makes me grateful for having him in my life.
1052447
I wish that I could tell you a wonderful answer where everything will be great, BUT I know how you feel, I was an abused child and married when I had just turned 17.  Well he started reminding me of my Mother before long.  I had no family, no one but his family as my friends, I had no place to go, so I stayed, It became very clear that he didn't love me, but I was so afraid.  But after 19 years I packed up and left, scared out of my mind, but you know what even though it was hard, lonely, I learned so much about myself, most of all I learned that life is to short to spend it with someone that makes you so sad, and doesn't treat you like a lover, friend or partner but more like something that they bought and paid for like an old car, then it is time to build a life that can be happier than you could ever imagine.  Even small things can make you smile or just laugh out loud especially when you have always been controled or felt like you were going to get in trouble for.  Like I would leave the bed unmade, didn't have to cook, and on Sat. morning I would lay in bed until 2 if that is what I wanted to do.  And I will tell you when you can go and come when you please and you don't have to answer to anyone but yourself, you too may find that life can be happy and full of good, instead of a life filled  with mostly bad and a little good every now and then.  Please take it from a woman that has been there no one can do this for you but you.  And somethings are so worth the risk.  And remember this, I had a friend one time tell me how stong I was, when I said no I am weak, she said look at what you have already been through, anything else should be a breeze.
789637
Because that is what life is all about. Someone being there, beside you when most of the world doesn't consider you worth sitting next to. Someone who will look at you, and won't see a wizened, old, toothless old man..instead they'll see you at twenty-five. And under their fingers you'll feel like twenty-five because you and he  together make something more vibrant than you'd ever be apart. Someone to touch you, hold you and love you when the world wants nothing more than to deny your existence. \nWhen you can't recall anymore the little details, the two of you can pool your memories and everything will stay vivid. The love making The pain It's the time you will have shared that will prop you up against each other when your bodies want to lay down and decay. You will protect each other and keep each other young.
453915
I remember being 19 and not feeling confident.  That's okay, the confdence will develop as you mature.  Stay focused on the positive aspects of your life and continue to reach for your goals and dreams.  Be patient with yourself.  You sound like an intelligent person who will end up on her feet.
689463
Don't worry dear, all wounds will heal in time.  And some day you might just grow up to be a fine young lady if you don't let your inner kindness and love disappear with passing pain.  Be nice to others and hopefully others will be nice to you.
313329
Yes, because my husband has shown me true love. He has been there through good and bad and always protects me and our children.  I've ran from his protection at times because I have felt sophicated, that's until I realized how blessed I am to have someone who cares about me so much.  He has every reason to be the way he is because our world isn't safe at all.
438547
YOU ARE LUCKY..\nNOBODY WILL SHARE YOUR LOVE.!!!!!!!!
498416
beecuase in this world we are raised thinking that bog boobs and blonde hair is beautiful and if we dont have these things we arent good enough. it drives my husband crazy that i am insecure all i want is to be told that im beautiful every once in a while
1175390
It sounds like you are embarking on your lives together with your eyes wide open. Remember, for women, forty is the "new twenty"... so you're actually about the same biological age. \n\nEnjoy your love, and pursue your happiness!
1174039
you should have a serious talk with your husband and I may be worng but it sounds like ur a tad bit uncomfortable with your weight also ..try working out...eating healthier..dressing sexier for him...when you get confidence it will show and affect the way others look @ you..especially ur hubby...get 'em gurl!
194632
honey i have the same problem but if u truely love him then u can't get over him i tried but it just keeps pulling me back 2 him!!! i say u tell him that u love him & tell him whne ur ready i'll be here but i hope ur ready soon b/c i want u so much & i loveu!!!