losing a child or gaining a son/daughter?
601049
In a way, but then you get to steal the grandkids and spoil the s**t out of them...
825926
There is probably a reason why she lost her son.  from the looks of it, she shouldn't have ANY children, missing work, boozing, not taking responsible care for her child. sounds like she's letting you raise her kid while she does her own thing.  set some heavy boundaries, and report her for child neglect.  If she feels so bad about losing her son, then she should be doing everything in her power to make sure her other one doesn't end up in the system, which sounds to me like she's neglecting to do.  don't think about how sad it would be for her. think about that child who shouldn't have to live his life in those kinds of conditions.  what's more important. child welfare, or selfish mom.
544279
In today's overly liberal society, they would suggest grief counseling, therapy, all sorts of stuff like that.  I think it's bullsh*t.  My father died last year, 4 months before his first grandson was born.  As painful as it was, I never forgot that in this life, all things happen for a reason, and everybody dies.  You will grieve.  And it will get better.  The pain you feel may seem extreme, but it's perfectly normal.  REAL pain is a kid with bone cancer, or a brain tumor.  Have faith, know he's in a better place, and celebrate his life rather than mourn for his loss.  Everybody dies sometime!
941533
There are support groups that you can find solace with.  As a mother of a child through adoption, I can only tell you that I could not love that child more if I had given birth to her.\n\nYour gift was the greatest that anyone could offer another person.  Your pain is real.  Did you see the View today - all about families built through adoption and foster care. \n\nYou can register on a birth parent registry and when your son is ready to find you he can.\n\nYou are in my heart.
506125
It is up to the parents and loved ones to determine the fate of a newborn relative to an organ donation. But wouldn't it be a wonderful world if during this time of grief people were able to accept the fate of their child and then be able to be compassionate to others with critically ill children, who will share their same fate, by donating an organ or organs to save a life. In the short life span of the newborn it will have come into this world and saved anothers life. What a noble and unselfish life to have led. I have 3 children, all healthy, Thank God, whom if any were to die I would hope I would help another suffering parent with the gift of life. In times of utter dispair I always ask myself what would Jesus ask me to due and then try to do it.
128342
Yes. In a car wreck and at that time our daughter was 18 months old. My self and daughter survived . lost wife and mother 2 hours later. We visted cementary and we talked but 18 months old only wants mama. Long story made short, remember her, keep her memories alive, and get on with your life. That s what your wife would want for you. I was lucky both my wifes knew each other, went to school together and my present wife adopted my daughter. My daughter now has a 15 year old son. I hope this helps. Just remember she would want you to go forward with your life.
981737
Make a video...telling the parent how much he loves and cares for their daughter...and share how he intends to care and support her....and then he can ask on the video.  Tell them he will call at a specific time to talk some more.....But that way they can at least see what they are getting.... :)
764067
It is a sad thing to loose a parent.  It leave a mark on you and a pain that you really never get over.  I happen to be a funeral director and when I lost my parents, I went through the exact same thing.  I know it is of no comfort to you, but as time goes by, you will find that other things in your life keep you occupied.  You will never forget her, but in time God works a miracle in which the sharp pain associated with your loss gets a little less and you can reflect upon the joyous and happy times with a feeling of love and appreciation.  I know you probably find this hard to believe, and so did I, but it does happen.  My father died in 1987 and my mother in 1999, and at times is seems like it was only yesterday.  I hope you are able to find peace and understanding very soon.
215851
this is so hard.  Make sure you're doing all right; and taking the precautions necessary so that you never again have to consider putting a child up for adoption.\nTake care of yourself!! number 1!!!\nGet legal advice-- perhaps thru Legal Aid? (low cost or free)\nGet support/counseling:  what did it mean for you, when you gave your daughter up for adoption? you may have a lot of loss and grief to resolve. . .\n\nHow will it change things when you find her?  Do you want to get her back?  Do you want to make sure she's just doing okay and well-loved?  Do you want to have a role in her life? What kind of role?(mom, auntie, friend, etc.)\nDid you talk with adoptive parents about this?  \n     If you can't find her, or decide not to at this point, there are several agencies where biological parents and their kids can hook up when the child becomes of age. . .\nUntil then, and whatever your outcome. . . \ntrust yourself, that you did the best thing at the time for your daughter and yourself.  Forgive yourself.  Know that you will never stop missing her.  But you can go on to have a good life, just as you hope and pray she will.\n\nAnd, as I started out with, make good decisions as to who you're involved with, using birth control or not, making a decision when you're ready to be a mom (instead of accidentally becoming one. . .)  Get help and support, and take good care. . . all good wishes. You are a brave young woman.
290207
I lost my oldest son just over 5 years ago.  He was murdered.  I am still not over it & never will be.  The best thing I can tell you is turn to your religion.  That has helped me.  I think God gives us answers on how to go on without our loved ones in everyday things.  Like, this might sound wierd to most, but sometimes I hear (in the back of my mind) my son talking to me or answering a question that I've only asked myself.  I take it as he's giving me advise.  I think I'm living life as my son would have wanted me to live it.  I'm making decisions that if he were here & I'd asked him for his advice, they are ones that he's tell me.  I don't know hon, life goes on & so must we.  Sorry to hear about your loss.  A son, aunt, mother or father, its never easy & nobody has all the answers.  Just take it day by day.  You'll have good ones & bad one.  I've learned to deal with it cause all the tears & sorrow or angry feelings isn't going to bring my son back, just make me a bitter person.  He wouldn't have wanted that.  He was a good young man, 23 at the time & had his whole life with a wonderful career in his sites.  He was brutally murdered.  We just had the trial back in September '05.  It still hurts but like I said... he would want me to do just what I'm doing... trying to be the best person I can be.  Good luck to you sweetie!
744269
Gosh, how do you get such a depressing reasoning out of the religions?  We're being tested here on earth, and it gets tough, but life isn't just all about pain and suffering, hopefully.  Maybe yours is though??  There are still so many wonderful things in life to celebrate, and having a baby is one of them.  I have a little 11 months old, and he is the light of my life, and I will never regret bringing him into this world.  Life in this world is not the perfect state, but we are all going toward that perfect state - the afterlife - but what we do in this life will reflect our next one.  If you are so sad, and have such a bad outlook on your life, I hope you get some relief in family and friends.  Children are the most wonderful thing in this world, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
621561
im sorry i dont have any resources but im soo sorry to hear what happened. it is ok for grieving. we all grieve different ways and it can take loong periods of time to get over that. well of course, when someone loses something precious like a child, then there will be some loong time grief. try google search or talk to someone professional or someone who can listen and give advice. talk to your church/church pastor. im def. sure he/she will listen and may give good advice.
925276
first off, sorry about the loss\n\nsecond of all, she needs time alone to grieve. Not everyone needs to grieve with others around.  Everyone grieves in their own way. \n\nThird... maybe she's enjoying time by herself?  I know as a mom, myself, if something happened to my husband and the kids were not at home, I'd enjoy a little P&Q for a little while.  \n\nShe'll come out of her shell eventually. She needs some time.\n\nif she doesn't come around after a year, then I'd worry about her.
717787
I have 2 little ones, and I would think that it would be easier for me if someone took the kids away for a bit.  Talk to your daughter about her feelings, then make a decision.
503448
Only you can decide what to do, but keep in mind that there are good people out there like me that want more children and can't have them.  You gotta do what is best for your child.  Don't let anyone tell you what to do. If you just want someone to talk to you can IM me.
593610
I'm going to say none, because the parent/s obviously did something wrong to lose the children so the state had to intervene. Parental rights won't be restored until the parent gets custody of the children.
45916
I can understand how one tragedy can lead to another. She may be ready to be a responsible parent but, the children may have already suffered irreversible harm especially the son who was beaten brutally. The state and the courts have a responsibliity to protect those children even when a parent is unable to. The courts and social services try to do everything they can to keep the family intact whenever possible. I don't know if there is anything she can do at this point. If she is not currently seeing her children, she can apply for visitation and the courts will decide the outcome. If they refuse visitation that will pretty much tell her that she has no chance to get them back.