custody battle, formal mediation?
613271
It seems the issue is how much your often violent ex-husband should have access to your daughter.  Generally speaking, he or she must be really bad to has his parental right to have access to his/her child being denied. (although your ex could have lost his right due to his criminal conducts ... but the bar is really set high to lose this parental right) \n\nTypically, many divorced parents go thorough the visitation-custody arrangements (or more correctly put battles!) until the child fully emancipates !0!  I venture to guess here that your ex wants to see your daughter and want it as much as he possible can.  If so, his option would not be a mediation hearing but get the definitive direction from the judge.
1129107
Courts carefully weigh the best interests of the child in determining visitation and custody.  If the custodial parent denies visitation to the noncustodial parent, the courts will rectify the situation.  If the noncustodial parent should not visit with the child because that parent has a history of violence, manipulation, or drug or alcohol abuse, the courts will supervise and then stop visitation.\n\nIt appears that you are angry about one particular case.  Without knowing the details, it is impossible to say whether justice was or was not done.  However, the system allows for hearings and appeals.  If you have not been treated fairly, there are ways to address that.
465268
you need to go straight to a lawyer. I live in Australia so i don't know the laws where you are perhaps living. But you could go to social services or child welfare and tell them that you now have care of the child that your husband has legal rights to. Those rights would also have obligations on his behalf. I don't know how old the child is but asking what they want is a good start and then seek all the professional advice that you have to to resolve this. This child like all children must have love and stability. Going back and forth to dad when it suits him could have long term effects on this child. You never mentioned under what circumstances he was awarded custody. I have to take you at your word as i don't know you but if you love your child and feel that they will be better of with you and you can provide for their needs, all of them, challenge the ruling and do what is right for the child. Someone professional to help your child through all these confusing times and transitions is probably a good idea. Good luck to you and i hope the little one gets through this turmoil with as little scarring as possible. Looks like that's up to you.
331339
Your right this situation is very hard on kids! When both parents have dual physical custody it's usually because one parent doesn't want to pay child support, so they fight for joint physical custody. The kids aren't thriving in this environment because it offers no stability. The rules and expectations change from house to house! Have your friend talk to a professional at her local courthouse (they offer free legal advice). If the kids are in school and are having any problems, she needs to get the school and district involved. Another option is having the children see a therapist/play therapist to work out their frustrations with their living situation. Therapists are great advocates to have! In the meantime continue to support your friend and listen when she needs to talk. Tell your friend I said good luck!
353627
you have 6 month from the time your divorce was filed here in ca.  If I were you, I would consult a Lawyer.  He has no business being a father.  He sounds very unfit.  Sounds like you have very good grounds.  First though what I would recommend is documenting. for example, I keep all emails I send to my ex that way if need being I have the written proof for the court.  basically say to him, that he was scheduled to pick so and so up, but you got a call from the school saying no-one pick her up.  something along those lines.  without documentation, you won't have a chance.
331520
mediation...sorry couldn't help it!
605698
honey, here's some resources, but this is serious legal stuff & noone who is here unless they are a lawyer specializing in family law in your particular state can help you....you are really going to have to seek true legal help from a professional.\nbest of luck for you & my thoughts will be of you\n\n♀ ♀ ♀ ♀ ♀ ♀ ♀ ♀ ♀ ♀ ♀ ♀ ♀ ♀ ♀ ♀ ♀ ♀ ♀ ♀
189035
Call a lawyer. They can write up a power of attorney agreement for fairly cheap. Then, all the parties sign and you get it notarized. You can specify how long or how short you want the custody for in the agreement.\n\nGood luck!
36754
What he is doing is another tactic of power and control. If he wants to talk about the children, one of you can contact a local mediation program. Maybe your local YMCA has one or a nonprofit. Contact legal aid or the program that assisted you with the restraining order and ask if they know how you can get a divorce without him signing. Many times they have attnys that do pro bono work for woman in abuse cases.\nThere are times once the restraining is droped/ or the woman starts talking to her partner when the order is still in place that the abuser becomes even more abusive. So then the courts realy step in and the mother is realy questioned about can she provide a safe home. And the mother then has custody issues with the state. We are dammed if we do. Or dammed if we don't. When we suddenly are separarted from our partner, after loving him for so long and having children together etc. Being alone is scary. When we were with him we knew what to expect. The beatings the dirty words etc. But when alone we are unsure. So please find a support group through a woman's program. They will respect and understand your fears. It isn't worth having CPS or another state agency in your bussiness. But if he realy hurts you this time and you die who would protect the kids?\n Stay strong, you can make it!
171239
The laws differ from state to state, but in most cases the other parent will be given preference.  If it contested by the other person, it has to get resolved through the courts.  Usually the parties go to family conflict resoluction first, before it becomes a court battle.
527771
Get your lawyer to file to halt visitation, or at least modify it to exclude her presence.  He will probably fight it, but if what you said is accurate, you stand a better than average chance of winning.
739484
"Any thoughts on family law. Advise please!? My question is in regards to visitation, child support and child's well-being.  My 5 yr old son's father used to be very regular on child support payments and visitation. 2 years ago I remarried and began going to counselling because of problems with or son. In this time we discovered he had a problem with transitions. We got my son's father to come to a meeting and he agreed to help anyway he could. About year ago, he decided to take on a new job which was supposed to pay off some debt he had. His visitation became less frequent and payments started becoming late. I confronted him on his decision as my son was already getting very upset about less visitation, Plus he was acting out. Then last April he went on a trip for a month overseas. He kept up his payments but his visitation was getting worse.Now both visitation and payments are declining. He is not phoning to say he can't make it my son is very upset. What can I do from a legal standpoint? What are my son's rights? Thank you."\n\nThere is no quick answer to your question.\n\nYou have two separate issues that are not really related in the eyes of the law.\n\nFirst, there is the problem of irregular visitation by the non-custodial parent and the impact it has on your child.  Unfortunately, there's nothing the Court can do about that and as you already know, you'll be challenged in your own attempts to deal with it.\n\nLet me stress that in response to your amplification on the question (here and elsewhere): There is nothing you can do in a legal forum to make a dad a better dad.  If you feel that your child's interaction with his father is detrimental to the child, then you can ask a judge to have visitation reduced or entirely eliminated (though usually the father has to be unfit in order to justify such actions).  I understand that it's a rough set of circumstances, but unless there is abuse or neglect-- that is causing actual physical harm to your son or a failure to thrive-- the courts and even governmental agencies like Child Protective Services (or DCFS, etc.) are powerless to act.\n\nIt isn't the role of government to make people better parents.  You picked the father and had a child with him.  That means dealing with him-- and all the problems he brings along-- at least until your child is 18 years of age.  That's just the reality of it.  And no court can change that.\n\nSeparate the issue of visitation and child support in your mind-- and then call the child's father and-- focusing on the psychological needs of your child-- ask that the father make more frequent phone calls to his child and that he try to keep up with the visitation schedule better.  Try to be understanding about your ex's situation-- because being snippy and accusative with him won't get the results you want for your child.  \n\nAgain, in response to your amplification, even if you've been patient for a very long time and you have now run out of understanding and patience, if it's your child that you care about then you'll remember honey's the best way to catch a fly.  That it isn't too much too ask for the father to keep his visitation schedule isn't what's going to get him involved.  If you nag, he won't want to come around.  If you hound him, he won't want to come around.  If he owes support and doesn't want to feel guilty about it, then he won't come around.  You have a lot to do with whether or not he'll come around to spend time with your child.  \n\nSecond, there's the separate issue of child support.  Back child support is something the Court can and will do something about.  In fact, you don't even have to go to Court-- your state has a child support enforcement agency mandated by federal law that will help you collect back child support.  \n\nI'd start by contacting them and filling out an application to get their ass
36642
How painful!  Have your attorney push for a way to get him into parenting classes before he even gets a minute alone with your daughter.  Make the hoops he needs to jump through cost him something.  He's not been a parent and it stands to reason that he should learn something of the skills required before he takes your child even one day.  At one time my husband and I were discussing divorce and custody and he told me he was going to fight for custody and I told him to be ready to pee in a jar ***** which backed him RIGHT off.  Have a talk with your daughter and let her know that she can tell you anything at anytime, even if her father tells her to keep it a secret or he's threatened her.  Let her know that she can always tell you anything and that the only reason grown-ups make little kids keep secrets is because the grown-up is doing something he's not supposed to.  That way, if he does do the unthinkable, you stand a much better chance of knowing soon and getting help immediately.  Just something to keep in mind.  Also, he will not now or ever get full custody of your child as long as your own nose stays clean.  The courts reeeaaaaalllllly see no reason to remove a child from their primary custodial parent unless there is some darn good reason.  It should be mentioned that he's chosen not to have any emotional attachment to this child by choice and that though he is her father, he is a stranger to her too.  Push for supervised visitation for a term of not less than 8 weekly visits.  Really.  It can be pointed out that it is not just in the child's best interests but also in the father's.  Talk to your attorney about a guardian ad lidum.  If the father is not current in child support, see if you can defray his visitations until he IS current.  Your attorney should know allllll this and should be able to fight hard on your child's behalf.
263479
File for divorce . . . do not mention it . . . in the documentation for the divorce . . . fight for majority of custody of the children.\n\nGrounds . . . mental abuse . . . of both you and the children.  Because she uses the children as pawn . . . thus mentally abusing you and the children.  You loved her . . . tried to make it work . . . but her hostility is just growing and you worry about the mental health of your children.
879893
Yes she is! The lady in question is entitled to a share in everything. All monies,even pensions will be taken into account. It would be in her best interest to insist on going to mediation. If no agreement can be reached,then the courts decide for her.At the mediation,ALL monies will have to be revealed. She MUST make sure,she knows of everything her husband has/will get,and she must stick to her guns!!If she insists on mediation,things will get sorted out quicker,she will also learn  more. Whist attending mediation,her husband will realise he cannot get away,or insist that she only gets so much. IF, the husband is involved with another party,and that party works,those wages will also be taken into account.\nThe Citizens Advice will be able to offer her much needed advice on the legalities of separation/divorce. They will be able to guide her to a solicitor who specifically deals with this. It is a free service.
542970
Get a better lawyer.  I was in the samew spot and I ended up with 50/50 physical and legal custody.  My ex hates it because she can't control anything between my son and me.  Be patient and take the time and energy to get a good lawyer who understands father's rights.  It will pay for itself in the long run with your relationship to your child.
231368
They do and if the attorney you are using does not seem to be helping, fire that one and find another. Unfortunately it sounds like you never adopted. However, if you supported the child for seven years, you have a strong case for either reimbursement of expenses, which could be used as a weapon against the father to get her back. I know that sounds crappy but you may have to play dirty to get the best interests of the child met. Check your states judicial website, most states have them, and prepare for a lot of research and find what the laws are in your community. Most of it is pretty cut and dried. You can get visitation rights at the minimum, especially since she spent so much of her life with you. Start making phone calls and pleading your case for advice from folks who deal with thiese issues regularly, social services, free legal services from your county etc. Plan on being creative and doing a lot of soul searching. Best of luck to you and to her.