in your experience, is post break-up sex damaging or fun? can you have no strings attached?
609589
Answering strictly from my own experience, I did this twice years ago. One was incredible and the other one was not good at all. The incredible one knew there was nothing left between us and so did I. We just hooked up by chance one evening and it was wild! The other one as I found out afterwards was trying to use sex to get me back!\nInteresting question!
169580
I wait until I won't regret it at all.  Even if my body says otherwise.  I wait until I'm positive that if he dumped me the next day - I wouldn't feel disappointed about the sex. (Feelings are a separate issue.)\n\nWith each guy it's different.  For some guys it's weeks, others it's months.  But I always feel right when I do it.  Take your time, and wait until you know you're confident about it.
116892
Yeah it can. I broke up with my ex a couple of years ago - it was a mutual break-up but we remained as best friends. Sometimes when I hang out with her, I feel that same old feeling again - like a spark in my life that I felt when I first dated her... but I'm not taking that step though.\n\nYou can regain that feeling, but to get back together - that's another question...
399500
I would say those are natural feelings.  We all need fulfillment to some degree, and from what you descirbed, I wouldn't say that it sounds like you're thinking about enging in any type of experimentation that would be more harmful physically or emotionally.  Unlike other types of fantasies, since you had a previous relationship with him, you have more of a frame of reference to work from.  In time you may meet someone else, and these feelings might shift accordingly as you move on from him.  For now, it shouldn't pose any significant problems.
522395
You have people who are emotionally healthy and will take some space inbetween dating and truly look at their past relationship and examine what part they had in the demise of the relationship.   \n\nOther can not stand being alone and must feel that void of a lost love with someone immediately.  This is not healthy because what they are really doing is carrying the same baggage and problems into the next relationship which will have the same outcome.   They call this getting over the ex but they are just replacing them with another player.\n\nWhether I am infatuated or believe I love someone I do not go into another relationship after the break-up.  I alway take time and space to get my head clear.
1038164
doesnt sound good, unless her and her ex have been good friends before and are just trying to be friends again. (actually thats not too right either) and they shouldnt be talking about sex. thats wrong. and her ex had clearly shown intention to get back together... the right thing for her to do is back off. then again, she's a gal. gals love to be loved. (by lots of other men - it just makes them feel special, wanted, hot, etc) BUT ANYWAY... if they're making it a habit, u need to tell her you're uncomfortable. otherwise, end it. cuz if she doesnt care about your feelings, she's probably not THAT into u anyway.
367110
It was ok; I have done a few. Mostly with people I met online, couples. And I was mostly single; meeting other couples. Keeps the emotions out that way. It is a pretty shallow experience, really. Sex one on one or even alone is better, alot of distractions with more than two people and pressure to perform. I think allowing other people into your bedroom is avoiding the real underlying issue within the couple.I had a boyfriend once that was always pressuring me to do that it got to be a real turnoff and we are not together anymore. If you are a sex a holic and can handle it emotionally go for it. It just wasn't my thing.
91354
No. That's only considering yourself and some (probably temporary) emotions.\n\nAsk anyone who has had a successful relationship (>15 years) and they will tell you there were times when they were not satisfied with each other. When they worked through it and waited it out, they found it was just like a passing storm.\n\nIf you break or injure this relationship it will not get any easier for you. Even with the 'perfect' partner it will be almost unmanageably diffucult at times.\n\nBy bailing out each time it gets difficult you are dooming yourself to a life of constantly moving around and never being satisfied.\n\nThey will also tell you that any relationship requires both to actively work on building the relationship and that in the end it's worth it.
376573
Probably no.  You just have to show that you have the qualities he's looking for.\n\nAs for sexual - he's a guy.  So yes, he'll go further but don't get too attached because he's not (he's told you that already).  If you keep it as just casual with no strings attrached you'll be fine, but if you expect more I see you getting hurt.
313736
I was in a similar situation.  I ended up marrying the guy and was divorced 6 months later.  It is a nasty thing to be so used to someone.  But, if you really feel that she isn't for you, then moving on it what you got to do.  Sometimes it will be a strain on the "friend" relationship that you have, but the catcher is that you have to keep it a friends relationship.  If you got back to having sex with her, you are just setting yourself up for hurting both you and her and whomever you might have had an option of dating.  Hope this helps.
117476
I've been there.  My ex boyfriend lasted at least an hour.  By that time I was done and bored, and getting pretty raw with pain.  \n\nIt differs with different people what they like and don't like, and how long is too long.
949157
The fact of sex doesn't mean a thing one way or the other.  If I enjoyed being with her, and if I think I would enjoy being with her again, I'll call.   But if we were just taking care of a biologicial urge, and there was no real connection between us, I would not want to go out with her again.\n\nIn other words, if we really liked each other and ended up in bed together, then that's just great.  But if we didn't have anything in common except the sex, why bother?\n\nJust one man's opinion. Good luck!!
1030238
Let me tell you what I think.....  I am also separated with a divorce around the corner.  Divorce never ends well, and no matter what the details are people are hurt.  Often your pride, self worth, finances, and ability to trust/believe in another person will suffer.  I highly recommend the whole "friends with benefits" concept.  I enjoy sex, and the intimacy associated with it.....(not a one night stand sort of girl).  My friend is amazing, not only does he look out for me, and help with some of the guy things.....  He makes me laugh, feel desirable, and has taken me to a whole new level of multi orgasms!  Personally I'm not ready for another serious relationship.....still repairing the damage from the last.  But, having a good friend who I know and trust is extremely valuable to me.....not to mention the hot sex benefit.  By foregoing the "relationship", you often give each other the freedom to desire, request, explore and experiment with things you may not ask a "partner".  No fear of rejection, ridicule......a total win/win situation.  Although I will caution you......if you marriage was especially bad, it would be easy for a lot of woman to rebound into their friend.  Thus a potential to get hurt....again.  Not all woman can have a sexual relationship without developing feeling that want more.  Friends with benefits is just that.....friendship....sex....NSA.   For me, right now.....perfect!  For you.....think it thru and decide whats best for you.....good luck.\nAnd yes, your "friend" respects you and enjoys the arrangement.  Other people??  Some will judge, others will cheer....be discreet if you need to.
439997
Been there done that--both options.  Choose what you have.  What you had before didn't last for a reason.  It may feel thrilling but that sure as hell doesn't last.  You call him an ex-mess for a reason and the guy you are with deserves more respect than that.
1029730
No.  Sex is meaningless and can be done between any two people regardless of emotion.  It's when you have a deeper connection with someone that sex becomes meaningful.  Otherwise, it's really just scratching a physical itch.
26593
BREAK UP = SOMETHINGS BROKE\n\nI read this at the airport in the book store... "Breakup = Somethings Broke" thought it was catchy and really put my past relationships in line\n\nSo, what was broke?  I know you didn't innitiate the breakup, but surly you have ideas on what was broke.  Do not go back until you're 99% sure you know what was broke, and that you can fix it.  Sometimes Humpty Dumpty just falls off the wall, and all the kings horses and all the kings men cannot put Humpty Dumpty back together again.\n\nI've always found that by refocusing the love I was givning to someone else back to myself gives me the advantage.  Sometimes, the person comes back because of my new self-confidence, other times, I attract a new love....\n\nBest wishes, keep breathing, you'll be fine.
1000503
Welcom to the club. I am still to this day getting over a 5 yr relationship (two years after the fact) So I am speaking from experience.  The Only thing that I can tell you is when people say time heals all wounds it may be true but it will always leave a scar. The worst thing you can do right now is get involved with someone else. Because your ex still has your heart. I know it hurt when you spend so much time with one person and then one day its all over. You all had a bond where you were not just 2 people but 1 soul. Its hard to let that go, you just cant let it consume you. The best thing to do is get to know yourself again. because when you were with your ex you lost yourself in him.\n  If you plan on reuniting with him, you hae to sincerly think about how much you love this man, and is he worth 4giving. We as humans all make mistakes. Men, Our flesh is weak, and even though we may cheat we still love our girlfriend. One thing to remember with men there are 2 types of sex. Sex we just want to have and sex we dont want anyone else to have. The sex we just have is meaningless its just something to do. (Probably how your boyfriend was feeling when he was cheating) and The sex we dont want nobody else to experience is the sex with that special lady in our life. He would have probably killed himself if he cought you in bed with another man, no matter how many times he's cheated. \n  Or maybe he is just crying out for attention by treating you like crap. (Men do act like childreen sometimes) Maybe he dosnt like a recent change you've made. The only way to know is talk to him. (Hint on talking to men: He's not going to be direct, Men are not as vocal with expressing there feelings. Just take what he says and ponder on it for a day or two.)\n\nNow take 2 of deez and call me in the mornin'\n\nOh yeah, Good luck with your choice