What to do when yor mother doesn't approve of your husband and the way you raise your children?
613201
My mother never liked my boyfriend and unfortunately I do not speak to her now and she doesn't know that I am married to that boyfriend. I'm not suggesting that this will happen to you but I think that you should be firm and stick by your husband because your mother has to stop dictating your life when you reach a certain age.\nMothers always believe that they know best but I am very happy - my mother was proved wrong so you should have faith in your own feelings.
901
Mothers don't stop being mothers just because their daughters grow up and get married. They just aren't wired that way. It might help to talk with your mom about how you and your husband feel when she shows annoyance. Do this when things are calm, not in the heat of the moment. It might also help for you and your husband to talk about how you can enjoy each other and your relationship more privately so that your mom is not exposed to your husband's playfulness.\n\nYou might also just have to learn to live with it and not let it get to you. You can probably figure out a response to your mom that doesn't escalate the stress level. Let her know that you're glad she cares about how you are treated, but that you are comfortable with the way your relationship with your husband works.
526372
You got married.  Either side with you husband or let him go.  If you want to live with your mother for the rest of your life that's your business but if you love your husband, don't subject him to it.  Let him go.  He's probably hating life right now.
1116311
Your spouse isn't supposed to make you choose between your family and him.  But what it does mean is that your spouse should be your first concern from now on.  You are supposed to support and love your spouse.  It doesn't mean you dump your family though.  \n\nExample:\n\nHis mother constantly puts you down.  Your husband is supposed to stand up for you.  He has to put you first before his mother.  You are his wife and life-partner.  He is supposed to stand by your side.  He can still love his mother, but you must always come before her.
619317
DON'T change for anyone but yourself. \n\nPlus, even if you try to change for your in-laws that doesn't really mean that they will accept you. They may do so on the surface, but deep down they still may not...and you'll gain nothing. Life is too short to pretend to be someone else and to be bitter.\n\nMy little suggestion is to be you and YAY for having a supportive husband!!! That's wonderful. If you don't have to be around your in-laws a lot, it shouldn't matter. \n\nMy secret: I loved to freak my ex's mother out with my views on various subjects, weird responses to questions, etc. But you have to be secure and not really care about if they like you or not to do things like that. Just a fun tip.
836526
1) You were misguided as a child.  Women are NOT considered the 'property' of thier husband anymore.  How old are you, 100?\n\n2) If your husband treats you badly, there's a thing called 'divorce'.  You do NOT need to put up with domineering. overly controlling and horrible husbands anymore. \n\n3) What's wrong with being a feminist? And what's wrong with demanding a little respect? Nothing!  You don't need to be treated as a delicate lady, you need to be treated as a HUMAN BEING.\n\n4) Saying it's not your husbands fault is crap.  So what if he was 'raised' that way.  Does he not have a brain of his own? Can he not think for himself? Has he lapped up everything his parents ever taught him and never questioned a thing? I was raised in a racist, sexist household, and it doesn't mean I've grown up as a racist sexist! Quite the opposite! He's an adult, and he's perfectly able of thinking for himself, and KNOWING that treating you like his own personal property, like 'cattle', is freaking wrong!
273465
Be patient with yourself, join a support group at your church or talk to a family counsellor (with or without your spouse). Be patient with your kids, spend as much quality time with them knowing that they are caught in the middle of an adult issues and are too young to understand the complexity of these issues.  Just go out and have as much fun with them as possible at the park, mall or the children's museum.  Do not neglect your health (ie: overeating-->obese or undereating).  If you're not into the gym go for light walks, and by all means use meditation tapes they really do help.  Give your spouse that space she needs  but keep the channel of communications open.  Be honest with each other and don't try to sweep your marriage issues under the rug or they will never be resolved.  Good Luck.
881813
Sometimes, blood is NOT thicker than water. Your are his wife, and now become #1, in his life, along with children, if you have any.\nGoodness, what going on, it's a wonder that you both have not just said\n"enough is enough", and shut them out of you lives. Your husband is in agreement with you.\nWhy not discuss it with you husband, and tell him how you feel.\nYou do have to be rude to his mother, and stup to her level!\nSure, they keep ringing......They want you both to help them now.....\nWhat were they thinking before...that you both would just forget, and forgive?\nAsk you husband, if you can politely say.....Thank you for the birthday wishes,\nhowever, we have a life of our own now. I am sorry, but our hands are tied,\nand we cannot help you in any way....something like that.....\nLet your husband speak to them also.  No way, you both have made a life, without them,and put up with all the abusive language from them....\nTell them to move into the property that was put in the daughters name.\nDo not feel guilty!!!!  and do not change your lives, not with that kind of in-laws.\nGo girl, and your husband.....do not put up with it....you both only live once, and its Your Life and Your husbands!!!!
207026
Honestly explain to him first that you feel like you're not trusted with the child and let him know how that makes you feel. If you two are in agreement then you can approach the mother in a non-threatening way and let her know that you'd like to be more involved. you are a step-parent here and should be.
432372
Patience is a virtue, I always say. If you live with them I feel for you. Just a few things to remember, 1)if you love him then you will learn to appreciate and deal with the family that you married into. 2)Although, everyone disagrees sometimes try to bond with your inlaws and things will go better than being upset. 3)Get to know your mother-in-law as mother than just a mom but a friend or gal-pal. 4)Do something as a family together. Go out and do something that you all will enjoy.
877543
Relationships with in-laws can be so difficult.  I know it is none of my business, but why in the world are you living with them?!!!  It would be really nice if you and your husband could have a place of your own to live.  It would not fix all the problems, but it would certainly help out a lot.  You and your husband need to stand together whenever you confront your in-laws.  Maybe your husband needs to do the talking for both of you so they will know that you both agree with what you are confronting them about.  It will be difficult for your in-laws to accept that you and your husband are one now and that they should not interfere in your marriage.  And what is the deal with them not letting you two open your own bank account?  Aren't you adults?  Don't you have your own money?  Why is it any of their business?  Why is your husband letting them control the 2 of you?  Is he having issues "letting go of mommy's apron strings" or something?  \n\nI would suggest that you both see a family/marriage counselor and ask him to help you find a way to deal with your in-laws.  I have a similar problem with my in-laws which almost broke up our marriage, and our couselor suggested that my husband and I confront them together in a loving manner.  He said that if they still refuse to respect me and refuse to change the way they treat us, we need to stop being around them.  In my opinion, you and your husband need to make a decision to put your marriage first if you want it to survive, and do not let anything or anyone come between you.  Find a way to move out.  I'm assuming it is their house since your mother-in-law has removed your belongings from the rest of the house.  You and your husband need to put some distance between yourselves and his parents.  He needs to let them know that he has a family and responsibility of his own now that they cannot interfere with.\n\nAs for how to deal...  That is so difficult.  Continually forgive them for the things they do.  Don't hold on to grudges.  Don't let anger eat away at you or turn into hatred.  It will ruin your health, your marriage, and your whole life.  Continue to stand up for yourself and for your marriage.  And also remember that when you have a child, things are most likely going to get worse with your in-laws, so be prepared.  I wish you the best and hope that you can find your own place to live and maybe a family counselor as well.
48491
Sounds like a dysfunctional family.  Try to deep the children away from her as much as possible.  There has got to be an underlying reason for this kind of hostility.  Any idea what that could be?  Does your husband have anything to say about this?  I wish I had some profound words of wisdom for you, but I am at a loss.
914107
Your husband should have stuck up for you! \n\nBut he was most likely scared to offend his mother by doing so...\n\nI would just put on a happy face in front of her, because when it comes to unruly inlaws--noone wins!
1113427
I'd tell off my mother-in-law! \n\nI'd tell her it is NOT okay to hit me, it is not okay to put me down in front of my children, her son CHOSE me so she needs to forget aout his ex, she needs to stop saying she wants to fins him a new wife, she needs to stop lying, she needs to stop steeling my things, especially my underwear, and she needs to keep her nose in her own business. I know hoe to keep my man happy, while hers is walking out the door every month becuase he's fed up of her. If she's not careful, one of these time's he's not going to come back.
248916
When you marry someone, you marry their family, like it or not.  Have you tried talking to your mother in law directly about the intrusiveness of her visits?  Perhaps explaining to her that you need some family time with just your wife (and kids?) will help her to understand and minimize her visits.  Do you ever visit her house?  Perhaps that's why she's always over at yours.\n\nInitiate a visit or dinner with your MIL - that will show your wife that you aren't rejecting her mother (btw - "getting rid of her" is the exact kind of wording that will get you into more hot water), but simply trying to maintain some family boundaries as well.\n\nGive a little and get a little.
94173
block their #s from your phone. write to your in laws (return reciept) and tell them point blank: this is MY husband NOT your little boy. you've done all the raising of MY HUSBAND that you will ever do. mother in law, if you have a husband then HE needs to provide for you. MY HUSBAND does not need to provide anything for you. that's YOUR husband's job. and to sis: do you have husband? no. then you are your PARENTS responibility. go get a life i got mine. and tell your husband to get a SPINE and use it. he chose you not his sister.
704345
I've had the same problem with my mother and the result wasn't a good one, her relationships with her boyfriends put a wedge in our relationship. I learned to deal with it, but I don't want that outcome for you. You have to talk to her about, sometimes that doesn't always work, but at least u can say u tried. The truth is men can brainwash a woman and turn them against there children, its sad but it happens. Try to stay strong with this situation.