How do you handle being the other woman to a married man, that you love so much but can't see often?
607342
im not going to judge you like others...if you love him like you say then you cant help what your heart feels.\n\nhas he been with you while he has promised to leave his wife? how long has this been going on? you need to take these into careful consideration.\n\nin these cases there are a few options:\n1. he stays with his wife while you keep hanging\n2. he leaves his wife and he dumps you\n3. he leaves his wife and you have a wonderful life together\n...is it any wonder why youre so conflicted?\n\ndepending on how long your "relationship" has been going on and how he feels about you (if he claims to love you too) you will most likely have to give him an ultimatum. because if someone REALLY wants to leave the person they married they would do it regardless of what stands in the way. plenty of men have left wonderful wives behind for selfish reasons...so if its just not working out with him and her then he needs to face that and move on.\n\nwhen you give the ultimatum and he says that he cant leave her...then theres nothing more you can do. if he says to wait some more, explain how you cant keep putting your heart on the line to wait for him. and NO MATTER HOW MUCH IT HURTS you must walk away. perhaps it will make him understand the situation he's in and make an appropriate decision - whether its you or her. \n\nand who knows - maybe even if he doesnt make up his mind right away he'll end things properly with her and come back to you. still, unless you leave (even temporarily) he will find it easier to just deal with the two of you to avoid any more drama than whats insued.\n\nthe best of luck to you in this situation - my heart goes out to you! make sure to protect yours!
100142
That's something between you and your wife.Not, for others to have a choice on.Talk to her and see for yourself face to face to the one you married.
1040326
You have more chance of losing this man because of your jealousy than you have of another woman taking him away from you. Do you think he will turn into a gibbering wreck who can't control his libido if he sees a semi naked woman? He wants to be with YOU! Unless you blindfold him then he will undoubtedly be exposed to naked women whether you l ike it or not. You really need to get counselling to get over the being cheated on issue so you can concentrate on enjoying yourself with your man.\nGood luck
1094385
I am taking it that you are already married and feel the man is making choices that effect you both and he is unwilling to allow you to be his equal when it comes to making choices /decisions. \nIn this case the male or your husband shows signs of classic control - has in his mind set a woman has a place. often making you feel more like a child than a wife. \nShame there are still men out there like this. No advice here will aid you as dealing with how one has been brought up to believe, can not be altered merely by suggestive means.\nYour choices would be \na. Seek professional help - marriage consul \nb. adapt by acceptance - not recommended \nc. removal - divorce \n\nwhatever your choice I wish you the best of luck
306746
First figure out what feelings these are you have and how strong.Second imagine yourself without the person who at one time (and probably still do)you loved with all your heart,(loved enough to make her your wife). If imagining her gone and with another man doesn't bother you, then I'd say "its over",but if it does BOTHER you-Then stay away from whatevers tempting you,and focus on yourself and your wife.
579997
Stay away from the married woman. If she cant be Faithful to her husband what makes you think she would be faithful to you.
349208
Back away from the married man and no one gets hurt!LOL Seriously though, don't put yourself in a position to where you become involved with a married man. He will NEVER,NEVER,NEVER be able to be there for you when you need him, on holidays, for vacations... he'll never be there in the night when you just want someone to talk to or snuggle with...he'll never be totally with you because he already HAS someone he is obligated to spend his time and money on. You can get past those feelings for him that you are developing if you stay away from him as much as possible. As for the other guy, if you have developed feelings for someone else while you were with him, then maybe your feelings for him are not what they should be. Try staying away from both men for awhile and give yourself some time alone to sort out your feelings. Right now you can't be good for either one of these men OR yourself. Good luck to you!!
619782
Well first i would say that talking to him is all fine and well, but if you are not feeling the love he should relize this without haveing to talk to him about it. I trully believe that it would be nice to mention it to him but he overall reason may not be solved by just talking. If he is not makng you feel loved there is a real problem, and the harsh reality is that if someone comes along and starts paying you a little more attention than your own husband it may lead to problems.I trully believe that if a husband truly loves a wife unconditionally he will never have to have his wife feel not loved, if she does then he is not a good husband.Sorry if this sounds pretty rude but i like to be foward. I would close in saying that you will have to love your self first and if he does not appreciate you then he dose not deserve you.
856384
let me ask you this, how did you get into this position? how did you let this other man maneuver his way into your heart?...\n\ndo you beleive in the sanctity of marriage? if so, do what you can to get this other guy out of your life...\n\ndoes this guy know you're married? if not, that you're fault...if so, would you want to marry a guy who doesn't have respect for a married couple?...\n\nplease do the right thing and be more responsible with who you get close to...
164963
Yeah!!!  It happened to me when I met my husband!  It is hard to explain this feeling... it's like you know this is the person you are going to have something special with.
457127
Having a difficult time getting over the love my woman like my mother part. I know what your asking, but that keeps catching my eye. I would have to say no, it is two different kinds of love but hell who am I to say. Good luck with that by the way.
692441
OMG, i usually experience that coz my husband is far away from me. i have an illicit partner but i can't do it with him either because i am just not prepared to do it with him yet (i hope i'll never be, though).\n\nso how do i deal with that??? i just smoke & go out with my friends & try not to think about it coz i don't know how to "please" myself. it isn't so bad, anyways.   ; p
389620
Look in the mirror. You are looking at a married woman. Why did you get married in the first place if you weren't prepared for a commitment.  "I do" doesn't mean " until something better comes along". Forget this guy unless you are able to remain "just friends". I feel sorry for your husband!
826639
Fine -- you can't control your feelings.  But you CAN control your behavior.  Feel whatever you feel, just don't touch this other woman.  Go to counseling like you had the idea of doing, and figure out how to fall back in love with your wife.
498510
When my wife is with me.  It's just not quite the same without her.
1048271
Firstly must say you seem like a very special man. Secondary I shall say that it is time that you concentrate on yourself a bit more (to be able to move forward)\n\nBe respectful, always reliable, helpful, be understanding, be her shoulder to cry on (life is funny.. but wheel turns). But at the same time give her space at this time as you don’t want to loose her.\n\nI had a friend who his wife left him for another man. They have two kids together. He was always there for her (but had other girlfriend but did not commit 100%: in fact I was one J ). If she was sick, or needed something, or pick their kids up: he was always there, kept nice contact with ex-in laws because of the kids.. She went back to him when she was in trouble. He let her. He let her leave him again for yet another man (even married) He was her friend, warned her about the guy who ended up to be an abuser. She left this guy in the end, she matured, and they now together (but he did not remarry), He is now 48, his wife 8 year younger. He married he as she was only 19.\n\n*******************************\nJust remember:\n*******************************\n\nForming a relationship with your ex is entirely separate from the process of ending a marriage; if you work through the process to achieve your "emotional divorce," you can cultivate something entirely new. Your old relationship is over; take the steps to heal so that you can invest your energy elsewhere.\n\nGood luck.\n\nps meant to say: and you get a new hobby and have fun with other people as soon you will feel better and might make new friends and will not feel lonely. The reason why we LOVe or MISS people is beuase we miss that comunication. Once you communicate with others it will be better for you. And who knows, maybe your ex -wife seeing how popular and outgoing you are might ant to herself be your friend asap.........  show her your new side that she did not see before :-)
201273
Give it some time. Love at first sight is just that, sight. Find out everything you can about this person and let them do the same with you. Once you have done that if that feeling is still there then think about the big Married thing. Whats the rush? If you love them today and it's real you will love them tomorrow.