OK my parents are divorced, my fiances are not.they have an amazing marriage.?
604653
Definitely keep open communication between you always. Talk about things. \nBut I suggest that you have a talk with your mother-in-law-to-be. Ask her for some suggestions. She not only has experience being married, but she knows your future husband.
530666
I know you love your fiance, but it's obvious his mother doesn't love you.  You're gonna have problems.  I'd tell you to beat her with an aluminum bat, but that wouldn't get you anywhere.  Tell your fiance exactly what you're telling us.  Don't try to avoid conflict, cuz it already exists, and will only get worse.  Have your fiance bring this up with his mother, and try to iron things out.  Is there a reason his mother chooses the other girl over you?  Does his mom even know the real you?  Who you are?  How much you love her son?  That bitch!
702071
Show your fiance all the answers, but especially let her read mine.  I will address it to her.  I am 52, I have been divorced for about 12 years now.  I virtually raised my 3 kids on my own. I love them will all my heart.  I never forced them to clean up their rooms. I never forced them to wash the dishes.  I allowed them to have free will...in short I really didnt put many boundaries in their lives at all.  My son is 19....he still lives with me, and hes an absolute pig, he treats me like a maid.  I come home from work and dishes are piled up in the sink, so the first thing I do is clean up after him.  I work long hours and I dont need to do it, but its all my fault...he has no respect for me and when I ask him to pull his weight we end up in an arguement, so its easier for me to just clean up after him.  I now have my 26 year old daughter living with me now after her relationship broke down.  She is just the same....she does nothing.  I am responsible for 2 grown adults who should be responsible for themselves and I only have myself to blame.  I was too soft on them and now I am paying the price.  They love me, I have no doubt about that, but they certainly do not respect me.  I would love a man to come into my life and give me a break and take some responsibility off my shoulders.  I would love to have a man like your fiance who loves you enough to want to work out solutions to this situation.  Your children are rude and they need to show respect.  Your fiance is right in everything he wants to do.  If you dont allow him to be the man of the house and take responsibility then it will be you and your kids against him for the rest of your lives and it will eventually destroy your relationship.\n\nFor this to work, you have to work with your fiance, you have to show a united front because as soon as you show you dont agree, then your kids have got you where they want you, and your fiance wont stand a hope in hell of bringing this family together.  It has nothing to do with the father, you should not be discussing anything with him.  This is yours and your fiance's life and if the kids are going to live there in harmony, then the only thing you need to consider is how the kids, you and your fiance can live in peace...and that has nothing to do with father.  If it hurts you too much to see your fiance take charge and put in boundaries....then walk away.  Tell your daughter that you dont want to talk to her without your fiance present because you and your fiance are now partners and if she is unhappy, then he needs to be involved as well.  Im telling you now taking the hard line with your daughters now will have immense benefits for everyone's future.  You should be so happy that you have a man who loves you enough to work through these problems...but it has to be with you, not against each other.  A lesser man would put it in the too hard basket and not marry you.  You are a lucky woman.  Dont let your kids ruin your relationship.  They need to be taught some manners.
109205
Maybe they are not upset that you got married maybe they are upset at possibly your age that you got married at or maybe they got upset at it his race. There are a lot of different facots or maybe they thing he is preventing you from doing something in your life that you should be doing. Some more detail might help us give you some more advice. Help shed the light. But your best bet is to really sit down with you parents alone and really ask them what the problem is and what it really bothers them and ask them to give your husband a chance. And also make sure you husband show them who he really is and why he realy deserves you as a wife.
763196
I'm sorry you parents are getting a divorce! My parents divorced when I was 19 it's a very difficult thing espally when your older because your whole life they were together and now their not gonna be! Its gonna be a difficult time for you but like for me my life sucked for a couple years my life was so off balance I couldn't work or anything I didn't even have a place to stay! But I'm a truebeliver that everything happens for a reason like this! Its gonna be tough but stand by both your parents strong and focus on you I know how hard that seems right now but seriously ! They are starting their lives over by getting divorce and moving on with life without another! So you need to move on focus on you & your future ! Be strong it will  take time to get your life back but you will!
1024852
I have just come out of a live together relationship of 14 years and your wrong hun, it does represent life as a married couple  the only thing missing is the bit of paper that says so, we had three children together and are very disapointed that it didnt work out for us and dont feel that making it legal would have helped.\n\n Your situation however is worrying,  you say   "your fiance wants you to move in together for convenience and financial reasons"\n\n If that is the only reason youre going to live together then dont do it it wont work as i said its just like being married, I have no doubt that you love each other and wish you all the best, dont take each other for granted, stay faithful, and be honest with each other. good luk. ps ignore fies advice she is an antique
1187209
he need to do what yall wants to do. he cant please everybody else. he got to do what makes you and him happy. his parents will get over it, they will have to cause its his life. its no different than staying together, u just more commited to each other. he needs to think about it. he dont want to be mirsable trying to please them. they will evenually come around after yall get married, they got no chose.
651515
I've been on both sides of this. I lost my mom when I was only 4 years old. My dad remarried almost right away. I was too young at the time to say anything. But later he divorced her and started dating again when I was like 12 years old. None of my siblings were happy about it. We wanted our dad to ourselves.  Well, they got married. We haven't always liked her or got along. But, my dad is happy and that's all that mattera. I've been on the other side too. I dated a man who had two teenage kids. Him and his wife had divorced recently. The kids did not want their dad to date. They made life very difficult and caused me a lot of heart ache. I really liked them and just wanted to get to know them. In the end I simply couldn't do it anymore and I left. He's dating again but I think he's talked to his kids since then and they are a lot more accepting. Moral of the story: If they make your dad happy try to be happy for him. I'm sorry for your loss.
685655
yes it's wrong! you shouldn't have to be afraid of telling them! You married your husband not his parents! if they don't want to accept that,then it's their loss!
87800
I think that you and your fiance should do what ya'll are comfortable with.  This is not your parents wedding, it's yours.  And you (hopefully) only have one in your lifetime.  If ya'll both want a big wedding, then by all means, have a big wedding.  If ya'll want a small one, have a small one.  There are pros and cons to each.\n\nA large wedding, as you've found out, takes a lot of planning.  While it can be the event for people to remember, or a way to show off, it is oftentimes EXTREMELY stressing (which is the last thing you want on your wedding day!)  Large weddings are also very costly.  You should think of how you would use the money that you would save by having a smaller wedding, perhaps a down-payment on a house, new furniture, or put it into a retirement savings account.  It's never too soon to plan these things!  \n\nSmall weddings, while not exactly the party that'll go down in history, are oftentimes more intimate, and mean more to the people involved.  They are less stressful (for the most part), and can help shorten the engagement period.  They are also usually a lot less expensive than large weddings.\n\nMy advice would be to sit down with your fiance and plan the wedding of YA'LL's dreams, not your parents'.  This is an expression of ya'll's love towards each other.  It may also make your fiance uncomfortable if he/she believes that you will do what your parents ask, even if it's not what you want.
594985
Talk to his mom, and ask her what some of their wedding/reception traditions are.  Combine a few of their traditions with a few of your family's, and come up with a few things with your fiance.  It's nice that you are concerned with including your family members.  So many brides take the attitude that it's "MY" wedding, and I'll do what I want.  Including your future in-laws will go a long way in strengthening your relationship with them.
851679
two different men, two different stories. your parents did the right thing, no one wants to see their child hurt. sometimes it isn't possibble to talk to someone, and sometimes depending on the man he straightens up. can't really compare the two. u should be happy your parents were there for u, and u had a way out of a bad situation. perhaps your in laws daughter didn't have the same kind of man as u did. some people can take critisism and learn from it, some can't.
134494
Congratulations for starters.  People are very quick to be negative these days...so most people believe that your marriage will fail.  What is the fun in trying to be positive?  I believe that as long as you and your fiance truly love each other and realize that you are making a life long commitment you will make it through life just fine!  My parents got married when they were 19 and 20(because my mom was prego with my sis), and they will be celebrating their 25th anniversary this May.  No marriage is all kittens and cuddles...you will have ups and downs...and honestly it will probably be a WHOLE lot of downs that first year.  Just make sure you stick it out...ad always remember why it is that you got married!  I hope that you have a wonderful life with your husband!
160996
I was in this situation before... my parents wouldn't allow me to date this guy. well, i dated him for 6 months behind their backs and when i graduated from high school, they said i could do whatever i wanted to do. so... i kept dating him. he then joined the army and we got married, had a 3 year marriage plus a little baby boy and well... to make a long story short... this guy was a complete bastard and had a very personal affair. ANYWAYS... I have learned one thing... it might sound stupid and nerdy but PARENTS USUALLY KNOW BEST!!! I'd listen to them. THEY HAVE THEIR REASONS!
409773
Sorry to hear that but it sounds like there is a divorce coming, in order for your parents to still be able to be good parents sometimes they have to so whats best for them, if they aren't happy it makes it harder for them to keep you happy and your happiness means a lot to them. people grow and people change, i hope for your sake they make a change that will be better for you.
1040084
There are no gaurantees in life either way. My grandparents have been married for over 50 years too. My parents however got divorced when I was 12 and remarried again when I was 14, only to turn around and get divorced again, well they are in the process anyhow. I think if Divorce was against the law, then more people would have multiple affairs, kill their spouses or hire a hit man to do it. Either way they'd find a way to rid themselves of their spouse. I think it all depends on what's important to you, and marriage is important to you. You also have to realize that marriage is way more then that special day where you get to wear that pretty white dress and get alot of gifts from people you haven't seen in years. It's WAY more than that. You are going to have stupid fights and disagreements, it's how you settle them that's going to matter. It's how you communicate together and if you put eachother above yourselves. Along with being married you have to embrace a certain unselfishness, or it won't work. Life brings along alot of suprises and trials...all to bring us closer to God and make us stronger partners and families. If you use "stinking thinking" then you won't last, infact you'll end up like most of the world today, divorced and searching for that one perfect mate. There is no perfect mate! You have to work at marriage, you really do. The sex will become monotonous, the kids will get on your nerves as well as the mothers in laws and etc. The thing is that you have to realize that your relationship comes first! Another good thing to do even after marriage is to date eachother at least twice a month,even after the kids come into the picture. I give you kudos for not wanting to become just another "baby momma". I suggest waiting, making a list of what you want in a spouse and then comparing notes and maybe even getting premarital counseling before the big day. I've been married for almost 11 years, and it has been no cake walk, but I made a vow and I take it very seriously. I have seen also many blessings in my marriage. We've been through alot together, and are still enduring the storms of life, but we are weathering them together because that's what we promised to do, not run the other direction when the going got tough or look for another person to have an affiar with when the romantic waters get a little still. Also remember, we can't read eachothers mind and it's foolish to assume that the other person can. Keep the lines of communication open, and don't do anything that would break the trust. I pray that you will be blessed and will be one of the few marriages out there that will make it until "death do you part". It's a constant work in progress.
137693
Your parents have their reasons, I'm sure. But have you asked them to explain to you? They may not be able to, or they may not want to, but consider the possiblity that they did what was best, not only for them, but for you too. \n\nMy husband and I are seperated for reasons I hope I never have to tell my children.