I got raped and for some reason I CANT get over it. I really need help. Anyone got advice?
594314
wow, must be pretty rough. i mean, no one expects you to get over it. look, i had a friend and the same thing happened to her and im gonna give you the same advice i gave her. some might say that you should take up counseling or go to a group meeting, but the sad part is that those meetings dont focus on just you and yourproblem. you have to find someone who you trust and love, usually a mom, sister, or aunt, and tell that person about what happened to you, and who did it. the guy who did this to you obviously isnt very considerate. just open up to a loved one and let them know whats going on. im sure it will help and they will be able to focus on your problem and not everyone elses.
334950
Yes, it is child abuse. I'm sorry that you had to go through with this. It is important that you realize that this is the problem of the adult, and that it doesn't mean you did anything wrong. Adults are supposed to protect kids from this, and your father obviously didn't.\n\nThat said, you would benefit from a chance to talk with someone about this as it still seems to bother you. There are a number of options. You can call a local crisis center, a local rape crisis center, or your local mental health center. Some ministers are good people to talk with as well. \n\nRead this website:\nhttp://sophia.smith.edu/safe/Survivorhelp.htm\n\nHere are some adult survivor support groups:\nhttp://www.darkness2light.org/GetHelp/support_adult_survivor.asp\n\nThe point now is to talk about it, put it in perspective, understand that it changed you life forever but that you can move on when you are ready. You don't have to continue to dwell on this.\n\nBest wishes. There are lots of folks out there to help you out.
6944
Have you tried counselling? It might seem quite daunting first of all, but it sounds like talking to someone impartial could help. The pain will stop when you learn to recognise that you have been through a ordeal and you need to accept some form of help. It's good that you are in another relationship; if your boyfriend is supportive and understands that you need time to get over what has happened.\n If you find yourself becoming anxious or upset, you could try Bach Flower Remedies (the Rescue Remedy is good), they help relieve a lot of ailments, such as insomnia etc. Most of all, recognising that there is a problem is half way to solving it. Talk to people that you trust and can confide in; and if things don't get easier, seriously consider counselling as a means to get over things. Good luck!!
438787
I know how you fill, I was abused too but don't ever think it is your fault. I and still working through my problems and it never seems like it is going to get better, but you have to find some reason why you want to live. And yes there are reasons out there to live. I have tried to kill my self 3 times and believe me it is hard, then i realized that i would be doing my abuser a favor by getting red of my self for him. you need to seek therapy and i know that your not insane, so you probably think you don't need to but if you don't you will end up driving your self crazy by not knowing why you are filling this way!!! Also move on , get something started...put all your energy in school or sports, something like that, even friends!!!!!! If you need to talk more you can e-mail me. I know life hurts and its hard but just be strong and you never know what the future holds for you!!
868236
Glad you aren't related to me! Yikes!  But, really though you do sound like you have some problems you need help with before you do something you will regret.  Call a mental help line or your doctor or if you really think you might hurt somebody just call the police & they will take you to a place where you can get help.  Please call them BEFORE you hurt or kill anybody ok?
1185608
I think you need to be honest with yourself and bring everything out in the open.There are reasons why you hurt so deeply,the only way to ever move past it is to go through it.The first thing you need to do is to know your worth,that yes things have happened in your life as they do us all some more than others.You have to take it as a learning experience it will only make you stronger in time,sometimes we can help others through our own trials,its not always easy you have to keep going though.Drinking and partying or any of these things you are doing its not healing your pain it wont its a bandaid.Get real ,loose the crutch,try to find positive people to surround yourself with,then you will see a positive outcome.If you really want things to change it will also help you to know that,God is always with you even when you are not with him,I hope that you can find the light to lead you out of such a dark place,I know its there I found it so can you,you just have to reach for it.May God keep watch after you.
221517
I'm so sorry to read about what happened to you.  I pray that you are okay. \n\nGiven that the rape is something that you no doubt will carry with you for the rest of your life, I'd say your uncle got off fairly easy.  \n\nFive years in jail sounds like a long time, and I guess it is.  But he did something that will affect you for the rest of your life.  Five years seems like small potatoes compared to that.
1108210
First and foremost, rape is rape. There is no psychological benefit to it being a woman instead of a man. I'm not sure how old you are, but I would recommend you find a decent counseler and talk it out. There is no statute of limitations on the rape hotline, and they can recommend help for you. Some places have Rape/Spouse abuse crisis centers where people who have been through these types of ordeals can help you with the steps you need to take. The second thing I want you to know is that you did nothing wrong. There is nothing you could have done that would justify the robbing of a part of your humanity, and rape does just that. I'm not sure how the law handles something like this after a year, so I can't tell you whether you can still prosecute, you'll have to talk to your state attorney general's office.\n\nGood Luck
337661
I wouldn't know, I was raped when I was a little girl & so my first time at 16 did not feel like it hurt. That's too bad to have had that taken away. Oh well, life goes on. I'm sure it hurts though, and the anxiety of the moment probably doesn't help either.
45698
Somewhere in our lives something happened that we never really were able to get over. It takes going back and seriously understanding the reasons why it happened. If someone hurt you, you need to finally figure out what it was that brought it on. If it is something you can control about yourself, you are half way there by realizing it! If it was something that another did because of a flaw in their personality, you have to come to terms with the fact that you were not responsible for their decisions and those are things are are not in control of. But the main thing is to trust in who you are. Believe the good is there and obvious to the right person. Know what you are attractd to and what makes you happy. Be proud of your attributes and those around you will sense your confidence. But your doubts may be deep seeded..........find someone to talk to about them......and discover what placed them in your head to begin with. Good luck!!
840833
Hi Alayna:  My heart goes out to you for what you suffered when you were younger.  Many women who have endured abuse find it hard to trust men again, and have a hard time putting what happened in the past where it belongs - in the past.  A man can sense when a woman does not trust him, and most decent men have an inborn desire to protect a woman, not abuse her. Be warm and open, but cautious - there are still alot of creepoids out there.  Here is a website that I think you will find helpful - trauma survivors@googlegroups.com.  You can communicate with  other women who have  suffered the same abuse and rape trauma as you.  May God bless you and heal  your hurt, and help you move on to a happy life with a good, loving man.   JoAnn
264944
First of all, you can make people AWARE. Awareness is your best weapon. I was raped at 4 years of age. I also was made aware of what to do if something like that should happen to me. I screamed, yelled, kicked, bit, etc. Because I did so, the teenager who raped me was caught and prosecuted. Because my parents were aware of what to do in such cases, they got me help right away. Children AND parents need to be taught how to prevent it, and what to do if it happens. I suggest that you also lobby for more strict legislation to deal with sex offenders. Perhaps form a community group at your childrens' school.
62663
You cry.  You scream and yell and throw your own pity party, if that is what you feel like doing.  But most importantly, you take time for you.  Heal, and then move on.  Take the knowledge that you have learned from them and make your life better with it.  Good luck.  I'm so sorry that this happened to you.  But things are not always going to feel this bad.
140127
I don't think anything is wrong with you. You are coping as best you can with a situation I will never be able to comprehend.\n\nTry a support group or a counsellor. They will have the experience to know how best to deal with your hurt. But don't try to keep it all inside and hide it away.\n\nI hope this, or anything, helps you feel better.
314543
hi sorry to hear that about the break in.\nthe most important thing to do is to get on your knee's if you can and as God to help you with feeling violated. I promise you he will help you. and also try not to beat yourself up anymore. things happen for a purpose.\nGod will get glory out of it ,just believe!!! Besides he knows who did it. and believe me he will take care of it. so i hope and pray this will bring you some comfort.
1000929
Was your rapist caught? Mentally, the trauma that you felt during that event may cause you to react physically. Trauma causes pain.  The brain and the body is interconnected always. What the mind perceives the body will show. That is why you can't have an orgasm whenever you are doing anything sexual. You might put the event at the back of your head, but subconciously it's there lurking.\n\nI think you need to talk to someone who you trust or much better if she's a counselor. Or if you're uncomfortable with one, go to a sex therapist. \n\nWhy didn't you see a doctor? Did you report him? I do hope so.\n\nAnyway, good luck with that.
1071276
Hello \n\nYou are in a very tricky position here. The first obstacle concerns the actual rape by someone little older than yourself at the time.  In those days he would have been regarded as a juvenile for court purposes had you contended the case then. Today some 19 years on you obviously still have some grief to share, hence placing your issue here. I will say this I am not sure whether the internet is the place for you to share your grief. The quality of the answers very much a case of posing a question or issue for some kind of rough justice. From which you may draw the wrong kind of support.\n\nThe thing is you need some balance in your life which comes through family friends and loving relationships. However having this grief and anger about your personage will affect any personal one to one relationships you might desire to have,. this is not to mention your work situation and  that of your mums contact with the mother of your abuser.\n\nI think the right source of action for you would be to seek the help of a counsellor.  I know this sounds drastic but just airing your thoughts and anger with someone who is trained to listen and not biased should help tremendously. There should be a self help directory available in your local library or maybe your GP surgery has some counselling services. \n\nYour employment in this situation has been your tormentor and reminder,  maybe after having some couselling you should sit and talk things over with your mum. Gain her support especially if you should decide to eventually have this all out in the open. This is not always a good idea.\n\nI presume that you have had this job for less than two years and would not qualify for any redundancy rights, you are in a position therefore to resign if you want to in accordance to the way - in which you are paid. Ie, weekly paid a weeks notice, fortnightly paid a fortnight and so on.\n\nMeanwhile try not to get emotionally involved in any arguments or debate with the mother of your abuser as after 24 years this could be as big a shock to her as the loss of the friendship has also been put assunder. \n\nGood luck with any counselling you seek.