there are no jobs in my area should I leave my husband who is in the military and move back home and get a job
601971
I am sorry, but that is pretty much the stupidest reason I have ever heard for leaving your husband esp. if you gots kids - you need some serious help...
727449
my hubby is in the army - we move alot! so i got a job working from home its legit, theres a 401k plan pls other benefits for you and your family so no matter where you live as long as you have a phone and internet you can do this see this site, iboplus.com/40450014 or see mine at JAnderson52@ameriplan.net
916269
You have a right to be upset with him since things are no longer "just about you" or "just about me". Marriage means decisions effect both of you. You're also allowed to be upset that you can't get a job that might be better for you until after this is settled.\nHe should have been more patient or at least come home and discussed it with you before he quit. Leaving like that and losing that source of income jeopardizes you both. This is something he should have considered. On one hand, you want to be happy in your job and you want to have coworkers that appreciate you BUT, you also need to have a job before you leave one.\nAs for being selfish- you both are to an extent. Its not something to be completely ashamed of- just because you're married doesn't mean you can't think about you...it just means you have to keep you both in consideration.\nWhatever you do, the best thing to do right now is just to be supportive of him. Let him know that it upset you that he didn't talk with you about it first but, don't place blame and don't discard the fact that maybe he really couldn't stay any longer. Good luck
930671
Well, ideally a husband and wife are soulmates who act selflessly for the good of the other.  If you were in an ideal relationship it would seem fitting and right for you to help your husband achieve success by coming back to the USA.  However, your situation seems far from ideal.  It sounds as if you are well within your rights to end the relationship based on his past and current behaviour.  Perhaps you are unhappy with the situation and are toying with the idea of moving on, but you feel a little guilty about it.  You might consider a trial period of seperation and see how things go.   He apears to be the selfish one, and does not seem to value your marriage as much as you do.  \n     \n    The days and months to come may be painful and difficult.  But do not lose heart.        \nMay wisdom, strength, and peace be with you.
1020209
Well I went through the same things so I can tell you EXACTLY what she have to expect to happen. He is already in the army and at his duty station, which mean that she is NOT in his orders. They can get married but they are NOT going to move her or the kids (if any) because they weren't married BEFORE he got the orders. So as far as the military is concerned, the marriage mean NOTHING. After he comes back home for good or get orders to be stationed somewhere else then its a process (About 2-3weeks) (maybe shorter or longer) to get in the DoD system) he have to go through to get his wife and the kids (if any) in the system so that they can be included in his orders next time. My husband is in the Marines and he got orders to Japan. We got married after he received his orders so i had to wait until his two year were up (which will be next month) before me and our child were included in his orders. So from next month on out me and our daughter will be able to travel with him where-ever he goes....if I can answer any more questions just let me know, cause I KNOW 1st hand!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! As far as housing goes once he is stationed at another base or whateva they an get on base housing (if available) if not he can get BHA (Basic Housing Allowance)...which will pay for them to live in civilian housing off-base. So they can get married and YES it can work out even though there is a HIGH divorce rate for the military..it all depends on them if they willing to make it work...(Its hard at times though but they just have to be strong)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
356792
Well, i am married (mil to mil) and if he gets married after basic training he might be a hold over, waiting for them to process all his paper before he heads to his A School. So i would tell him he might want to do it now and let the recruter do the paper filing and whatever else he needs to do. That is the recruters job, to do paper work or whatever needs to be done for your son to work for uncle sam. Dont let the recruter be lazy if he is acting lazy, it's a military thing. LOL If he gets married before boot camp then everythig will fall into place and him and his wife can be together as soon as he gets out of A School and he will have nothing to worry about other than finding a house. If you need anything feel free to e-mail me   tink41503@yahoo.com
1057490
hun, no matter what you do it will be in the back of his mind that hes gonna have to leave you guys in 2 weeks.  just plan fun things to do with him.  you want to try to plan time for each of the kids to spend separate time with him as well.  But make sure you have lots of fun together no matter what.  when hubby came home for his 2 week R&R i made a welcome home banner and put it in a door way downstairs that way he saw that he was being welcomed home, not like he was about to leave.  good luck hun.\n\na military wife
1035218
Been there.  Ultimatums are never good. Small towns are full of gossip. The transition is easier because of family and friends. Both of you list pros/cons of where you'd like to live. Ask him if he'd be willing to check out some places that would fit what you're both looking for.  He may feel that you are choosing to move home to get away from him. Try to compromise. I did and I don't regret not moving back home. I found things that I really liked about where I live and we have been here for 25 years. Really think about this before you do or say something that you can't take back. I hope I helped.
44940
create a new budget that is smaller.  This may mean having only one car, or less extras like eating out and fast food.  There are many areas that you can cut the corners.  I have been staying at home for 9 years now and it is only the last 4 years that I have been working at home with my own business.  I do it for fun not because our budget demands it.  \n\nGood luck with it.  If you can't do it in the situation you are in.. either you have to change the budget or your husband needs to get a better paying job.  If both of those are maxed to as good as you both can do - then you may have to work.
558373
Get out now.  The longer you drag it on the worse it will be.  No job is worth giving up your happieness either.  You do not want to be in a marriage when you don't love someone.  Trust me I know.  I'm married with two kids and not in love with my husband anymore.  If I'd have known what I know now....
528555
I was married for a year when my husband was deployed to Iraq for a year.  I know alot of women go home to stay with family but I stayed at our duty station.  My advice would be get involved with alot of activities (FRG, spouses clubs,volunteer for daycare programs, etc), work alot and find a few close friends.  My husband came  home for two weeks RnR after 6 months of deployment. The time went by alot faster than I thought it would.  Good luck to you.
1152889
It's a big decision.  I live in Eastern North Carolina.  It's not by choice, we're stationed her for at least the next 2 years.  I love it in the west part of the state.  Anyway, I moved alot growing up.  Every three years we had to pack up because momma and dad were getting stationed else where (Navy).  We always got to help decide where, we usually had three choices.  My advice to you is to make a pro & con list, it takes the emotions out of the decision.  Also try and do as much research on line and even start looking at houses in the area you may be moving to via the internet.  Good luck in your decision.
976688
I was also a young Marine Corp wife (still married, but now he has moved on to law enforcement).  As I know money is tight in the military and you are so far away from your friends and family it is hard to find something to do and find any time together.  The best thing you can do is to get to know your neightbors.  One of them might have or know someone that has a daughter/son that babysits.  We were lucky enough to find that!!  If that's not an option right now......try some little day trips as a family which is always good for the military man to spend time with his family as a whole.  There is always something to do without spending a lot of money.  Pack a lunch and go check out everything there is to do around the base and then spawn out to the towns around.  And car time is always a good time to talk and reconnect!!  Good luck.....it's not easy.....but it can be done!!
446066
It was disheartening to read your question, because it sounds like you're really down on things - I sure wish I could wave a magic wand and make all your problems go away.\n\nWhat I can offer is my experience as someone who has moved all around the country - particularly much earlier in life. My dad was a corporate troubleshooter, and his company would move him from city to city where this division or other was having problems - his job was turn things around and then move on to the next crisis. At one point, as a kid, I moved 7 times in 10 years - think of all the schools and new classmates that involved! As an adult, I worked for a while as a college professor, moving from university to university until I got tired of that route. So I've been there (and there and there and there, and I can sympathize.)\n\nThat having been said, sometimes there are difficult realities to life - and the road doesn't always take you where you want to go. Or at least not in a straight line. I don't know what it is that your husband does for a living, so it's difficult for me to understand why the only jobs available to him are in West Virginia. I can certainly understand that it's a tremendous culture shock for you to move to a really, really rural community, but if it's really true that the only jobs for him ARE in West Virginia, then I guess I would have to salute your husband for having the character to pick up and follow the money. I'm going to assume that he's motivated to earn a decent living by his responsibility to his wife and daughters - so I'm thinking he may well deserve a lot of credit for recognizing his needs.\n\nThere is no magic money tree that can get you back to Texas, and again, I don't know anything about your job skills and where the opportunities exist for you. Perhaps the best approach for you would be to take advantage of whatever opportunities you have to pursue additional schooling that will qualify you for more positions -maybe your chosen field will provide more options for you in Texas, and your husband will find it desirable to move back to Texas where YOU can earn a good living.\n\nMoves are difficult things, because they uproot us from everything we know and our entire comfort zone. A very famous psychology theory from the 1960s speaks of the most stressful events in the average person's life, and how those stressors can impact mental health. As you might expect, moving/relocation is one of them (others include divorce, death of a family member, jail, loss of a job, etc.) If you're interested in reading more, read about the "Holmes Stress Scale".\n\nThere is nothing at all unusual about feeling completely lost and out of place in a new situation and a new environment and the only thing that can possibly ease that stress and pain is to be patient and give yourself time to adapt. We truly are amazing at adapting to new environments, but being the homebodies that we are, it always takes time - for some people and for some environments, it just takes longer than others.\n\nI also don't know about the nature of your relationship (and your daughters' relationships) with your husband - if you're close, and this move is driving you apart, the sad reality is that going back to Texas without him is going to introduce a whole new set of challenges to your lives, not the least of which would be the financial ones.\n\nMy best advice to you is to find a sympathetic ear nearby - I know this may seem impossible, but there must be a neighbor or a religious leader or a community service program or a job counseling service or any number of other caring individuals who can help you adjust. Since you didn't indicate if you're working at the present time, I can't necessarily recommend volunteering, but if you're not working, that's an excellent way to meet people and become a welcome part of a new community. If you're not working, and you
1110767
My goodnes,it sounds like he working himself to death there.But sometimes that's what you have to do to help your family.I gather that his father isn't around?It's hard sometimes for guys in this situation.I'm sure he loves you and I'm sure he also loves his family.I could imagine that it's hard for you being away from him and I totally understand that(husbands in the Army),but you also have to make sure that you finish your schooling and take care of yourself too.Is he getting any other help with the finances?That sure is a big job taking care of four people and sounds like the pay is not that good,but then again what job does pay good these days for us regular folks?You should be supportive though even though I know it's hard for you.Is there any way that you can transfer to a school where he is at?Or is that not possible?If he is having issues from going to Iraq,maybe he should try to get some counseling,if he would ever find the time.There are just too many soldiers that come back from there that don't seek any kind of help and then one day it just sneaks up on them and that is a whole other story.I hope for your sake and his that he will exercise those options.And no,love shouldn't be that hard but as stupid as it sounds it will make your love stronger between each other.Good Luck to ya and I hope it all works out.
1047221
You have to deal with it. It's his job.  Get a night job if you can. That way you'll be home at the same time. You can't tell him to leave his job for you. Not fair!
753245
Sounds like at least one of you is afraid of being left. Or maybe you don't want to hurt each other by making a commitment and then leaving, so you just refrain from making a commitment... and you practice leaving.  Girl, you should only practice what you want to be good at !\n\nIn many parts of the world marriages are arranged. In other words, the sex is the first part of the relationship, and over time the couple can learn to know & love each other. \n\nI left my family & moved from New England to Minnesota, where my husband's family all live. It was a couple years of culture shock, but we're still together after almost 23 years of marriage.\n\nDo you trust him? Are you willing to trust ANYone?  If he changes, will you stay with him? (like, loss of health, financial worries causing depression, etc)... in my experience, Air Force fellows are top quality. Yes, the military changes a person -- military people  have been forcibly changed, so they can do their jobs & survive; that's not a bad thing, it's just a factor to consider.\nMotherhood changes a person, too.  Not all changes are permanent, but they're not all predictable either. That's where the trust comes in. Trust isn't a feeling; it's a decision.\n\nHe might have a need to be "at home" (in his case, it's Ohio); home is, by definition, where we feel safe.  Can you make your home somewhere other than Washington? I did. I used to live in rural Tacoma. I know how beautiful it is there. But family circumstances required I move, and I learned to appreciate New England. It took me 2 years, but I did it.\n\nMy recommendation? Meet his family.  (Wonderful guys usually come from nice families, so I bet they're nice). And marry him.