I'm too loyal. I'm feeling the urge to leave my sister's place and live with my boyfriend.?
594318
Talk to her about your plans.  Help your sister do a budget and understand how to pay bills.  After that, you are free to move in with your boyfriend.  Don't rush to move in with him, get to know him longer.  If you have been dating for a year or more, try it.  If not, wait!
221993
Hey chicky,  I know how you feel.. me & my bf fight constantly too.  Sometimes I wonder if its normal or not.  I get really sick of it too sometimes .. occassionally to the point where I dont care if the relationship ends.  But we are still together.  Are you living together?  My bf & me only moved in together 6 months ago.. we used to fight before that but not as bad as when we moved in with each other.  I think maybe you guys need to do stuff apart every now & then just so you can have your own space.  Think about it .. if you had a sister who you saw every day forever you would get sick of her too & fight with her.  Its the same with your man.  Try not to fight over the little things that dont mean much,  think about what it is that you are fighting about & ask yourself.. is it even worth breaking up over this?  If you answer No then get over it.. be the one to end the fight first.  Even if he keeps going dont let yourself get worked up, its hard trust me but it will only make it worse if you are both going at it.  Tell him you dont want to fight & that your going for a walk or something & wait for him to cool down then you will talk to him about the issue.  Remember that anyone can fight, but its the people who's relationships that last through the fights that are the strongest.
1110288
Be yourself, be honest.  Tell him how u really feel cuz if u dont u may regret it.  dont let this be one of those times where u ask urself what if..... if its the family- be an adult, be the bigger person and talk about the situation. if u luv him that much and hes worth it, suck up ur pride and apologise to his sis.  could be a reason why theres tension stewing
682957
I did have to make that choice, either stay living with my boyfriend or come home to live with my parents that are in bad health and failing fast. I choice to be with my parents and can only hope now that I don't loose my boyfriend in the process of all this. So far so good as I have been here with my parents for over 2 months now, him and I are still going strong.I either go see him or he comes to see me and talk every day on the phone.
885125
You may be intelligent and you may be in college, but you're acting very immature.\n\nDid you consider when you met his co-worker at the front desk that (1) she may not have known who you were (2) snapping at her to go get your boyfriend was a tacky thing to do (3) she may have a hot boyfriend and not be interested in your bf  and (4) your boyfriend may have cared only for you, but after your behavior in the place he works, I wouldn't be surprised if he's questionning his choice of girlfriends.\n\nThe first thing you need to understand is that jealousy is a blinking red light telling everyone you are major insecure. And the second point is that you are absolutely, 100%, powerless over your boyfriend, his co-worker, and every other human being in the world. \n\nOnce you accept those two things, you can start changing how you behave because, if you don't, you'll be single again.  And, even worse, you'll never have a healthy relationship with any guy.\n\nYou can share your feelings with your boyfriend, but in a calm discussion when it's the right time.  Your fear of loss is creating, by being jealous, the loss you fear most.  He may not have told you much about his co-worker if he's experienced your jealousy before.\n\nAnd, let's say it's worst case, and your boyfriend choses to be unfaithful to you, you cannot...cannot...do anything about it.  \n\nWhat you CAN do is make a choice not to be part of a relationship if your boyfriend  isn't committed.  Stuff happens, our hearts are broken, they heal, we meet someone new, almost always someone way better for us than our lost love.  And maybe that is the plan.\n\nNothing is going to be right for you, no relationship is going to give you what you need.  Only you can give yourself that.  Work on you.  You may still get your heart broken, but that's on the other partner.  You'll move on.  You'll always be powerless over people, places and things and the sooner you accept that in your heart, and stop trying to CONTROL, the happier, confident and secure in love you'll be.\n\nI hope you listen to my suggestions.  I'm a control freak who finally got that I'm wasting my time, hurting myself and others I love, and driving those I love away.  I learned to remind myself, when I felt the old evil eye of jealousy pop up that I'm powerless, that things will be as they are supposed to be, and start taking care of myself so I always have me to rely on.\n\nGood luck.
833472
Sounds to me that you are either way too trusting, far too needy (wanting a relationship bad enough to accept this behavior from the person you're currently with), or seeking validation in what you've already decided you want to do.\n\nHere's what I did:\n\n"I need you to get all of your things together and leave.  I don't care where you go, but I won't be a part of your behavior any longer."\nIt sounds very psychological, doesn't it?  Well, I thought about it for a long time.  I wrote it down, I rehearsed it for hours.  When my partner came home, I was in the other room.  I repeated that line when I heard, "Hi honey."  I didn't say another word; we just stared at each other - eye to eye.  I wasn't going to offer an explanation of any kind, we both knew why I had made this decision.\n\nYou'll find someone better.  If what you know is fact, you're too nice to this person and it's probably time you cut the ropes and get back on the available list.  :-)
287223
stop trying to convince yourself, ok you did what you did before but still that is your sister. if you want to give him booty go ahead. cause you probably will anyway. you are still sprung girl you gotta shake it off. he is only a man or boy. spend time with yourself get your mind right .go out meet new people.
606311
you may be having these problems cause of the issues u have with ur sis.. u are still u and just because ur twins. find ur own place as a person.. srry ur parents dont see it.. hold ur head up high.. succrrd in what ever u do.. dont let her bring u down.. u are special cause u are u.. honey as years go by things will change. u may have to sepeate ur self from her..
546826
Frustrating isn't a strong enough word for what it feels like to live with an addict.  Your sister needs professional help.  It is unfortunate, but your allowing her to live with you may be enabling her to continue destructive patterns that are keeping her from moving forward in her life.  You didn't mention your ages, but it would appear you are both well into adulthood.  Are your parents living?  Do they also have issues, or did they, that may have contributed to your sister's problems?  \n\nYou cannot save your sister, and you are not obligated to take care of her for her whole life.  You should see a counselor yourself to get guidance and referrals to resources in your area for dealing with the types of psychological issues your sister is facing.  \n\nIt is going to be tough, no doubt about it.  You should seek a support group to help you with your feelings of guilt and obligation.  You are NOT responsible for your sister.  I hope this helps.  \n\nTake care of yourself.  God bless you.
1067385
you have every right to feel that way...next door becareful...really...why did you move in knowing she was next door...too close for me....be careful and good luck....
639434
You have a child now so the stakes have completly changed. If she is hateful and you have no parental control over your child, then you have ever right to want to leave. I understand you love your boyfriend, but sadly sometimes as a mother you have to choose between your and your bf personal happiness and the happiness/well being of your son. I think you should explain to your bf how you feel and tell him he can leave w/ you or you can go on your own. Then follow through w/ getting a place of your own, if he understands then he will come with you. You two can still go over everyday & check on her, but you need your own life as well!!! I hope everything works out for you and your family.
1101640
Is his well-being as important to you as your own?  Does he feel the same about you?  Is the long distance problem a necessary thing (you EACH have an ill family member who needs your care, or are completing college at separate institutions which specialize in your field), or is it just not all that convenient to be together?  Are you with him because your life would be poorer without him, or because you're used to him and afraid to find someone who would meet more of your needs?  Are you compatible on your future plans on children (or no children), religious beliefs, monetary issues?\n\nThese are questions you'll have to answer yourselves.  One of you may just have to compromise if you want to live together...one of you may have to move.  If neither of you are willing, I would wonder about the depth of your commitment.
728323
At the top of this all, you are being a responsible big sister who wants to protect her little sister from guys who just want to prey on her because she is pretty. In the middle of this all, you get annoyed at the fact that most of the guys that befriend you are just actually wanting to get to your sister. It's natural for you to react that way. It's natural for you to want to be appreciated not because of your sister, but because of who you are. It's natural for you to want your own share of attention, and finally, it's natural for you to feel disrespected, and used, because guys are 'using' you to get to your beautiful sister. At the bottom of this all, you do have insecurities, of course, because you feel that your sister is prettier than you, and that she is getting all the attention, and people don't even stop to think about how you feel.\n\nI don't think you must be very ugly. If you have a very pretty sister, then it means you can't look that bad, right? You do share the same blood! Maybe she's pretty and charming at the same time?\n\nI have a cousin who has always, always been jealous of me. Whenever she had boyfriends, they'd fall for me after meeting me. In fact, she would reach a point where she told me "Ok, if he falls for you after seeing you, it's not going to bother me." And I was still so young at that time, I didn't even understand why she was acting like that. But now I understand that she was just jealous of me. As a result of her jealousy, she became very mean and resentful towards me, and ruined not only our relationship as cousins, but my mother's relationship with her dad, and my relationship with her siblings.\n\nPlease, don't allow your jealousy to eat away at your relationship with your sister. Accept what you have. Accept what she has. Be happy for her, if you really love her. There are guys that will suit you. Look for guys that are in your league, and let the guys in your sister's league, get together with her. Don't covet what's not meant to be for you. But be happy with what you have.
984524
I think it depends on many factors.  If she already messed up with your family and you are living under their roof, morally you need to tell her that because of her behavior you don't have the say anymore to let her stay.  On the other hand, what are her reasons for needing to stay a day?  If her reasons are important, like she has no other place to go and is not a chronic wanderer (not really staying anywhere although she has the resources to) then maybe you should have negotiated how to behave while in your home.  The $85.00  should probably not come into play for this favor she is asking of you.  \nI guess it all comes down to how close the two of you are. Also, your age.  Generally speaking, females are more catty between 15-24.  At this age group, there is a constant tug of war with emotions (hormones) and all of them are constant companions when they feel slighted.  Perhaps she feels like you are choosing your family's side over hers and she is jealous.  who knows?\nThis probably does not explain much, but I hope it helped.\nGood Luck.
115745
even if you can you better think long and hard about that! i moved out when i was very young and by doing that you make decisions that you may regret later. my advice is stay where u r and go to school unless you r being abused if so seek help
661006
If it has become more than you can handle, then the choice is made.  Yeah, I know everyone wants you to do the noble thing and suffer a lifetime of misery, plus if you leave, you'll be the bad guy.  Hey, it's your life.  Just be true about your feelings and do what you've got to do.  Life is short for us all, so find your way to happiness either in this relationship or out, but don't just keep on keep'n on for no purpose.
741419
i think you need to start helping around the house a bit more, there probably holding a grudge at doing all the work for you wen your old enough to do it by yourself, that should improve things between you and your sister, make an effort with her boyfriend, maybe suggest the family do something together, e.g go for a meal, bowling, ice skating, cinema, laser quazer something fun and that you dont do every day.\nand i know this sounds weird are you on medication? only i was on medication ant it made me well depressed and fornd it hard to cheer up, it wasnt until i came off that my mood lifted and felt like the weight of the world had been lifted off my shoulders, if you are then i'd suggest seeing your doctor for alternatives.\ngood luck