My husband says he hates my guts but wants to stay together for the children.  What should I do?
596202
The children deserve two parents that love each other if the love is gone your not doing them any favors by staying together. you and your husband are the two most important people to these kids . So i think if he doesn't love you then go don't put the kids in the situation to see you two hating each other
1124288
i can tell you one thing, i have been in your shoes. when my husband and i first got together his mom and his sister hated me. and that was ok because the feeling was mutual. he basicaly looked at his mom and told her "hey this is the girl i want to be with, forever, and if you don't like it that to f** bad. " His mom wasn't very happy with this. he moved out of the house and moved in with me. She only saw him on holidays because he didn't want anything to do with her if she wasn't going to accept me. And yes i know it has to do with "taking away her baby boy" blah blah blah. His mom didn't like me until 2 yrs later when i gave birth to her granddaughter. Mind you, we were already married. So my advice to you is be kind, be nice and take it with a grain of salt. If he loves you then he will be the one to step up and say somethig to his family. He'll be a man about the situation and explain to everyone that you are the one for him and they need to accept you and respect you and the relationship that he has with you. Good Luck!
396488
Your situation sounds like mine!  The father of my kids basically turned his back on us.  He ran off to live his life and complete his education while leaving us behind.  Next thing I know, he admits to having a child by someone else (after the kid was almost two years old).  I could go on and on about the situation, but I won't.  Now he wants me back because he can't find a decent female that will accept a guy with three kids AND bad finances!!!  Ha, ha, ha!!  It's so funny!  Before, the man was telling me all of the reasons that I wasn't good enough for him!  During a recent conversation, he even admitted that, at one time, he thought that he was better than me!!!  Now, he's always whining about how he thinks that we should raise our kids together, which, I admit would be a good thing.  But, I know that he wants that for the wrong reason, only for his convenience.  I could go on and on, but this is about you, not me!!  Sorry!!!  What I'm TRYING to say is that if we weren't good enough for them before, we're not good enough for them now (or in other words, we're too good for them now)!!!  I don't know exactly what your children's father did, but if he chose to run off and leave y'all to live his life as he pleased, then I don't think it will be worth your time to fool with him.  Invest your time into becoming as successful as you want to be and into finding a man that will love and respect you and your child or children!
131863
Explain to your husband that you love him but you need your own space away from his family.  Move out and leave room for him in case he follows you.  Give yourself a few weeks of peace and quiet.  \n\nIf you can't afford to move away from them, try to get some counseling for you and your husband.  A counselor will have a better chance of getting through to him and make him understand that you need your privacy and you two should get your own life....Good luck!
528295
Unfortunately its true... You have to let it go, you need to leave him and the children. Its for the best, not nice but it is for the best, and you will feel pain, but its better than them feeling 10 times more pain later on.
934944
Send him a letter? Dont you dare. He should always back you up - you are the one he is married to. I think you need to find alternate arrangements for babysitting. Quietly, with dignity, make other arrangements. If the grandma and aunty are not respecting your wishes, what makes you think they wont be disrespecting you infront of your kids? Try to put some distance between you and his family, so you and your husband can form your own tight knit unit. Then when you want to, you can see them on your terms. As dr phil says you teach people how to treat you - dont put up with it. Demand a higher standard of behaviour from them.
950729
Wow, that must be tough.  I think you should talk to your husband about it, let him know you respect his other family and children, but wish he would spend more time with you.  Tell him you love him and miss him.  Perhaps you are ready to start a family with him as well.  You could talk about this with him. Maybe you could befriend his first wife and do things with her and their children.  You could be more involved, help her out with the kids, etc.  Your husband might be even closer to you if he saw how much you love children that are his.  Instead of being jealous it would be better to put your energy into creating one big happy family.  This will be pleasing to your husband and when the time comes for you to have children his first wife might help you in return.  Develop a sisterly relationship with her instead of a competion for your husbands attention.  After all he probably spends more time there out of obligation to his children, something that will make him a good father to your own children someday.
520253
This is not a good situation.  You need to take a step back and take a look at what your kids need.  It doesn't sound like they are growing up in a healthy atmosphere.  If they are exposed to this in any way it will cause harm over time and affect their own relationships as adults.  If you have made efforts to communicate with your husband and he refuses to work with you, you need to make a hard decision for yourself and your children.  You need to talk to a counselor yourself to sort everything out.\n\nIf you choose to leave your husband it is okay.  Do not be manipulated by threats of suicide.  He needs to get help.  It souldn't be the reason to stay in a relationship that is damaging to yourself and your children.
367509
Tell your husband you don't like hanging around with them and why.  If the reason is good then he will probally respect your wishes and plan less things together as a group.
601971
I am sorry, but that is pretty much the stupidest reason I have ever heard for leaving your husband esp. if you gots kids - you need some serious help...
296010
Perhaps you can talk to him and see what you can sort out. It would certainly be better if he could tell you earlier so you can make plans for them. It will be an ongoing issue for your relationship so you need to sort things out both with your kids and his kids. You want to avoid having a situation where he perceives that you are asking him to choose between you and his kids.
570187
Hey I've been in that situation.  Sounds to me like the guy has a very big control issue.  He doesn't want you to have a life other than the kids and him.  I am telling you from personal experience.  It doesn't get any better.  The question is, are you willing to have no life at all, or are you ready to spread your wings and fly.  You are not doing anything wrong, so either he is doing something wrong to put the thoughts in his head that you are doing something wrong, or he wants complete control and when you go out, he is losing the control.  You need to be very careful in this situation, because it can and probably will turn violent.  Protect yourself and your children.  Right now, it is only verbal and mental abuse, but it will turn into physical abuse with not much provoking.
892267
Only YOU know what you and the kids went through.  \n\nAnn Landers has an answer for women in your situation.  It is "Are you better off with him or without him"?\n\nEvidently you still have feelings for him.  You and him DID have kids together. \n\nIf he was that bad, he probably already had women on the side.  If he laid out at night, late in coming home etc....you know.\n\nYou might should begin to make your own life.  First, divorce and child support, enforced by the courts.  Then began to make your life enjoyable and look for a better husband, IF you want to.  If he is now running wild and free, you are right, he is having fun, rid of you and the kids and letting it all hang out.  IF you hadn't kicked him out he would have drove you crazy and ended up leaving on his own.  You just made it easy for him.   Good luck.  Pops
617239
You deserve devotion and caring from the father of your children. If he cant be a loving husband then you need to move on. You need to protect your child. \n\nGood Luck and God Bless!!
1057042
you are doing the right thing. if you let him bully you where do you get into the same house with a moron? if he's willing to hurt his children to get back at you he's just as bad a dad as he is a husband. stick up for yourself and dont take his crap.
810329
First of all, you are NOT weak. It takes incredible strength and courage to honestly face the stress in your marriage and continue to stay. You obviously care a great deal about all your children. You want to keep the family together if possible. \n\nI hope he will come around, but you do need to prepare a Plan B if he doesn't. Right now he's got financial control over you and he's using it. Maybe you could set a short term goal of saving $1000 in the next 6 months...? By then, you may have a clear direction for yourself and your family.\n\nGod Bless.
861288
well a hard question, but if you have tried everything and talked to your husband about how you feel and he wont change then its time to end it.\nbe careful the fact that he digrades you and belittles you publicly is often the early signs of an abusive man. he is on a power trip and whats you to feel bad about yourself and make you think everything that happens to go wrong is your fault. once he gets you comfortablw with the he may get physically abusive to you. or else he may threaten to or actually harm your children. \nbe careful and make a plan for your exit. once you make up your mind you need to follow through and leave and don't ever look back\nif you want to talk to someone you can email me. ive been there and im out now.