Hubby never wants me to be upset, he wants me happy 24/7?
604066
I actually just told my husband to leave me alone the other day,but he asked me what was wrong and I said,'hormones...just leave me alone'. He did though and I felt better after having some time to myself. I think your husband needs to realize that no one is happy all of the time. We all need time to ourselves and it is good for you and good for the marriage to be able to take this time. As for having a big blow-out about it...I would've walked away. I don't take that crap anymore. It isn't worth it to me to talk til I'm blue in the face,trying to explain 'why'. I shouldn't have to. An argument doesn't really get you anywhere. I tend to wait until things have settled down and then have a conversation about it and find out what he is feeling then. I gave up a long time ago on trying to justify myself to him. We actually have a better marriage this way. Good luck to you.
443765
he sounds really stressed, try and not be so intense, Life should be made up of segments of things.. ie, friends, family, work, hobbies it sounds as if your life is just all about your relationship, make urself happier in other aspects and definatly calm down on the pleasing him and making ur relationship stronger, do things that'll make u a happier person, not just him.
41229
Read your first 2 sentences.  Your husband wants you to open up to him more.  Then he does things that make you angry.  \n \nHe is doing these things to elicit a response from you that reaffirms your love for him.  It's like a cat & mouse game for him.  He's doing what he wants to do, while you wait & worry for him.\n\nTurn the tables...go out with your girlfriends; don't call him back; tell him you'll be at one club, but go to another in case he tries to find you.\n\nThen later, when he's pissing & moaning about how you mistreated him, tell him "Now you know how I feel when you do this to me".  Sometimes guys need this to open their eyes.
766336
How do you keep it happy most of the time: You don't. You realize that in every relationship there are going to be tough times. You strive to just enjoy each other, not to make everything happy all the time. I learned from the first boyfriend that trying too hard causes break ups.\n\nKeeping it memorable: why does every day need to be memorable? Half the time I can't remember every little day that my husband and I spent together, but I remember the important things. \n\nHow do you deal with your partner if you're unhappy about something he does: it depends--is it something he did because he wanted to be mean, is it in her personality, or is it just a bad habit? I'm not going to change ANYONE'S personality, but I can certinaly tell him. My husband has this awful habit of ignoring me for sports. When it really annoys me, I tell him honestly what's going on. Commnunication is key to any relationship.\n\nIf you don't say it because "you don't want to sound demanding or petty" then you have a long way to go. HE isn't going to know what's going on in your head unless you tell him. That's not fair to hold him a standard that he doesn't even know about.
1019504
I think you and hubby need to have an open, honest heart to heart. When he complains about your "cool" behavior tell him, it's easier for you to be more attentive and affectionate when he is treating you with the same loving care. It is possible that he has some under lying problems that he needs to talk about, there may be some changes that he is looking for in the relationship....Just go to him and listen with an open mind. Find out what both of you are missing from the relationship, and make good effort to be sure to do those things...spend some one on one time with each other, doing things you both enjoy, maybe even discover a new hobby together....enjoy loving each other again. We all hit rough patches in our marriages, we just have to work through them.\nGood Luck....you can email me if you need someone to talk to .\n\n\n**** wanted to add after seeing all the cheating answers that yes, they might be a possibility, but I think there would be other signs if that were going on....and This type of behavior doesn't always equal cheating!! Like I said he might just want a little change in the relatioship, or have other problems he needs to work out or talk about.  **** DON'T JUMP TO ANY CONCLUSIONS that could make matters worse, but keep your eyes open. ****
674474
I think it is fine too, is your husband the super possessive type and insecure ??
460197
I think that you should talk to him and ask him what is bothering him?. How long has he been accusing you of this?. Did something happen lately that made him start acting like that?. How long have you been married?. The first year it the toughest so hang in there and just try to be open and honest with him. communication is very important, i have been married for almost 19 years and i can tell you communication is very important
1069573
I'm not sure if he is unhappy in his marriage.  The reason I say that is because happiness is very relative to each individual.  We all have our needs, desires ... what makes one person happy may not make give another person the same sensations.  The key is finding out what is going on with the other person, what makes that person happy or satisfies that person.\n\nIn this case, you may have to find out what he does when he calls these numbers ... well, I suppose we can all guess what is going on here.  But the approach, to have him stop, does not answer the question.  Perhaps it's an obsession, or a very strong desire.  Perhaps there are things that he likes that he would not dare ask you to do, out of fear of rejection, or being considered sick or unhealthy, or a freak.\n\nOne important step in understanding is acceptance.  You would have to be willing to hear something that you don't want to hear, and not react in a way that instills whatever fear or rejection he may anticipate.  There is quite a bit of undoing that has to be done ... I'm sure that this issue has come up time and again, and he is trying to find ways to hide it from you, but still fulfill his desire to satisfy you.\n\nWhat he needs is help.  He needs someone who understands him, accepts him, and can help him.  I'm not sure if he realizes that or not ... I'm not sure how he views the marriage, or his / your philosophy, how your marriage is viewed by your religion, etc, but I do think that something is wrong.  Counseling gets a really bad rap ... there are alot of counselors out there that really shouldn't be counseling people.  That may be a course of action for both of you.  If you go, my thought is that you should both be willing to explore options and alternatives with an open mind.  He may not know why he does what he does ... he may not want to face that what he does is rather despicable in a marriage ... he may be lying to you to keep from hurting you.  This may not make much sense, but it may be the only explanation he has.  It probably has little or nothing to do with you, or the marriage to you, but it may be something that compells him ... but ... only if he feels that he needs help will he be able to receive it ... whether from you, a counselor (recommended), friends, family, etc.\n\nNo, you are not wrong ... the betrayal stems across many areas ... he must be willing to be accountable for his actions, to be corrected.  If this is not possible, or he is unwilling to be honest and seek correction, then stronger measures should be taken.  Remember, keep the mind open ... stronger measures doesn't mean divorce.
261128
He doesn't want you to struggle. Or he knows that if he pays rent somewhere, He'll always have somewhere to go. Why are u upset. If somebody paid my rent and were never there Id be happy. Think about it
1033687
Hi Hmy ... I read your other questions and it's obvious that you husband isn't monogamous or intends not to stay that way. The only reason why you'd be  putting up with this  is because\nof low self esteem.   You don't think you deserve any better and  are desperate not to be alone.  Perhaps at the moment you don't deserve any better. Think of what you can do to change that.. \n\nMake what ever changes you need to feel better about yourself.  It could be education,  work, even volunteer work. Whatever it is you probally should spend a lot less time here.
629986
If you live 3 states away, daily communication is unreasonable under the best of circumstances. This is probably wearing him down emotionally. I know that I get completely overwhelmed at times, especially by relationship issues, and just shut down. It doesn't mean I don't care; it just means I'm overwhelmed.
832716
he will never know the true u, he has a preconcieved idea of who he thinks u are, based on his own belief system, and his thinking. life is way to short to put up with a man who treats u as he does. sounds almost as if he don't really want to be there that maybe he would rather be somewhere else. he doesn't value you, if he did he would treat you better. if u have spoken to him and told him how u feel and still he continues to treat you like this, maybe it's time to get out of the marriage, and quit kidding yourself. when we get hurt it takes awhile to forgive and get over a trust issue, one can't just go back as they were. maybe it's time to make some changes for yourself, and decide if your really happy in this relationship. sounds as if you depend on him financially and need to stay for that reason, but that's never a good reason to stay with an angry hurtful person. sounds as if he hates himself, and maybe he has someone else in his life.
1148628
Of course you have the right to be mad.  You ALWAYS have the right to your own emotions.  It's how they manifest themselves in your actions, and whether they bring harm to you or others or otherwise infringe upon the rights of others that comes into question.\n\nAdvice from this not-so-old-fart but has been around the emotional and relationship block:  step back a bit from it and don't OVER react.  It's perfectly alright to express yourself--I always encourage friends and family to let it out.  But we have to look at things that we dislike in others as objectively as possible.  What led that person to behave in that way?  Is it our perception of the situation that has us angry as much as the person?\n\nOftentimes there isn't time to weigh these factors because you just want to react, but if he's at work, you have a moment to consider.\n\nNow I'm not defending your boyfriend... he should have remembered and should have known this was important to you.  But if you're both young (which I'm guessing... under 30, right?), then don't let it get to you too much.  We men aren't the brightest creatures on the planet.  Women have strong emotional intelligence, much stronger than men for the most part.  We do eventually learn, it just takes us time.\n\nRub his nose in it, not so much that he resents you, but enough so he won't soon forget.  Tell him in no uncertain terms that you were disappointed and that it hurt you, whether he thinks it's reasonable or not.\n\nOh, and happy birthday!  I turn 34 tomorrow, meself.
114620
You need to tell your husband exactly what you posted here in a nice non-confrontational way because when we need some empathy they are thinking about ways to fix whatever is bothering you. Or they are trying to let you know they feel you are wrong in your thinking and how to fix that.\n\nHonestly they just don't know, they just want to fix it for you.\n\nMy husband did that and I told him, I don't need judgement, or for you to fix this. I need you to just listen and even if I say something totally irrational I need you to agree and just let me vent. If I need you to help me fix a problem or a need a solution I will ask you that, but right now I just need you to be supportive.\n\nAfter I told him that he has been very empathetic, and a wonderful support system in everything! :D
110513
I just had  baby, so I know what you mean with the weird hormone stuff. What I found works is to find a time to talk to him when you are not PMSing. Find a way for him to nicely let you know that you are making him mad/sad. Make sure that you won't be insulted or hurt by the way that he tells you. ie: don't say shut up/ your a b**** or anything like that. Then take a moment to go to another room, even if it's just the bathroom and breathe. Don't think about it and try to relax, meditate, or whatever works for you. After you have taken a bit of time away, you will probably feel better and be able to see the situation in a whole new perspective. This will also prevent you from further hurting your husband's feelings.
1164160
Nope.  Frankly, I'm the same way.  My gf let me know it bothers her, so, I'm trying to make adjustments.  But, if you keep asking him, it'll just take longer and make him more irritated, maybe to the point where he can't deal with it anymore.  I'd let him know it bothers you, and leave it.  If he's going to change, he'll do it on his own.
799745
maybe your hubby's just have an immature behavior.. i guess he's a also a loner who has his own world.. many men are like that by the way.