I lost my mother (it will be 3 years on June 1st). Could all the mothers send me a couple of words?
596584
I am so sorry for your loss.  I would like to say that I think your mom would be proud of you and would love knowing that you love her and you miss her.  Instead of spending today being sad at her loss..spend the day rejoicing for the woman that she was and for the memories that will live on in your heart forever.  ((((((((hugs)))))))))
603625
This past April was the 19 year anniversary of my Mom's death. She had suffered with cervical cancer for the last 17 months of her life and as I watched her suffer through the chemo treatments and the morphine dosages, I found myself praying that God would take her home with Him where I knew there she would no longer be in pain. Although I was there for her as much as I possibly could be and did whatever she needed me to do for her, the suffering was more painful to watch than losing her could ever be. I spent the Friday before her death with her the whole day.  We talked about our childhoods, our adult lives, her sickness, and how I would keep her memory alive for my (future) child(ren) and we laughed and cried together. This period of my life with her were the best and the worst days that I can remember but they are memories I would not have wanted to miss.\n\nI finally had my daughter nearly 4 years later and even though she never met my Mom... she knows her through my memories and knows that Grandma Rose is waiting in Heaven to meet her. \n\nLosing Mom is the hardest thing I have ever gone through and basically I did it alone. The only advice I can give is to pour yourself into something constructive and keep busy and most of all...take it one day at a time. It gets easier and the tears turn from tears of sorrow to tears of joy in the lasting memories you will have even of these final days.\n\nMay God bless you and your family throughout this time and my prayers will be with you.
1118653
I could have written this question years ago. I completely understand you. My mother died when I was 9 years old. I'm turning 30 in 2 days and I miss her every single day. It's hard, but I have always made myself go on because I know she'd be so proud of the adult I've become. It's normal and natural to cry about missing her so don't let anyone tell you differently. Grieving is different for every person and only you can know what is best for you. But if you need to talk to someone, please do. My dad had a hard time talking about Mom after she died. Like you, I'm the spitting image of my mother. Dad stopped believing in God and it was hard for him to listen to me when I spoke of her because he was having his own hard time coping with her loss. He loved her so very much and I'm sure you're father feels just like my dad did. It was hard for my dad to look at me too at times simply because I look just like her, and I have her talent for writing, a legacy I'm proud to carry on. Your dad just needs some time to cope as well. You might benefit from talking to someone else...a counselor or if you're in school, someone there can help. It's hard to talk to other family members about it simply because as I said, everyone deals with loss in different ways. \n\nThe best way you can remember your mom is to take all the wonderful photos you have of her and put them together in an album you can always cherish. In today's computer age, you can even scan them and burn them to a disk so they will always be there forever. And you can focus on the talents she left you just like I did. I made a very nice career out of writing professionally but I won't be satisfied until I get my first book out there, which first and foremost will be dedicated to my wonderful mom who even in the short time I got to spend with her, taught me that I could be anything I wanted and to be a good person, something I will always cherish.\n\nNothing is wrong with you. And you can't let it go because she'll always be a part of you. But remember that life is for the living, and I know your mom would be very proud of you today too. She left you a legacy...use it in her good name and treasure it always. Good luck to you.
76652
im sorry about the first idiots responce ! good grief whats wrong with people ! i could not pass this one by without takeing a minute to tell you how truely sorry iam . i lost a nephew and witnessed first hand a mothers grief . you and your family are in my prayers .
1092147
Emily,\n\nWhile it may seem as if your friend knew her own destiny to be short lived in life, I would be inclined to also believe that in relating her thoughts of this too you she in no way expected her young life to end nearly so soon or in such a tragic way. There are those who believe they can see their own future and personally I feel some do but in your friends case I think her words were spoken to you with no thought of losing her life quite as suddenly as she did. I am sorry for your loss and hope that you will find peace with this in time. You have a wonderful family and are obviously deeply devoted  to them as seems evidenced at your greetings website. Which by the way is very nicely done. May life always be good to you.\n\nBest Wishes Always
759282
Hey sweetie...we all grieve in our own way and  our own timing. You are not a horrible person, it is very normal the way you feel.  I Praying can give you and your family strength, it  helps to get through these times, even if you do not believe in God but a higher power.  Talking to whom ever is willing to listen helps with the grieving. You are entitled to feel whatever you are feeling and then know you will get past it.  A simple I love you MOM when she comes back will be enough...and you will find that words will come that you didn't even think of.  Bless you and your family.
419998
I'm sorry about your loss. I lost my mother 2 1/2 months ago and will soon be going through a first mother's day without her. Because Mom was such a jokester and loved life to the fullest, when our spirits droop and tears threaten us, we share memories of something she did or said that made us laugh at the time. It's what she'd want to see within the family.. not alot of depressed and unhappy loved ones mourning her loss. It's really ok to laugh and smile.. dont spend too much time grieving over her loss, rejoice that you were blessed enough to know her as long as you did. Get the picture albums out and remember those things that made you smile and laugh. It's a great connection and keeps the memories strong of the woman you both loved so dearly.
361090
I'm an old lady, I lost my mom to cancer ten years ago, and I still miss her too.  I know it must hurt even more to be missing your mom at your young age.  I can't magically make the hurt go away, but here's a couple of ideas that might help a little:\n\n1.  Go ahead and talk to her anyway.  I do.  I am not a religious person, but I choose to believe that her energy is still here in the universe somewhere.  I believe that both of our moms are still looking out for us.  So go for a long walk on the beach or along a peaceful quiet river trail where you can be completely private, and have a good long chat with her in your mind.  Or even out loud if you want.  She will hear you.\n\n2.  Find another female mentor.  No one will ever replace your mom, but it is still important for you to have a female role model you trust and can talk to.  If there isn't anyone in your family to do that, how about someone who was a good friend of your mom's?  Or if no one else, see if there is a chapter of Big Sisters in your city.\n\n3.  Remember that more than anything your mom would want you to be active and happy.  Think of the things she would likely encourage you to do... studies, sports, crafts, music or the arts, community volunteer work... and really apply yourself to excel in her honor.  Dedicating your efforts to her will make her feel closer, and staying busy and active will help you keep from getting depressed too.\n\nYou are doing the right thing to reach out to people when you feel this way.  Now the next step is to do it with live people in your immediate environment rather than with strangers over the internet.  Be brave and empowered about asking for what you need to feel safe and happy.  It's ok.
530913
I'm so sorry you've lost someone important to you.  I've been there before myself.  Tomorrow will be the first anniversary of my mother's death in a hospice.  She suffered so much before she died that it tore my heart out, but she's with her Lord and Saviour now, and happy at last.  Time will improve things for you.  It's the only thing that helped me.  Try to do things you enjoy to distract yourself from the pain.  Even that can take a great effort, but you have to keep trying. If you do, I promise you that things will get better as time moves on.  May God Bless You!
52997
My father was killed 3 months ago and I didn't get the chance to tell him anything.  You are lucky that you have the chance to make amends.  Please don't under estimate the power of heartfelt words.  Sometimes you need to swallow your pride and be the first to initiate an apology or a conversation.  I regret everyday of my life that I was not there when my dad died.  I torture myself with the what ifs... and if onlys.  I wish I was lucky enough to have one more moment to tell him how much I love him and what a great man he was.  I don't have that chance, but you do.  Please don't waste it.
629634
Honey, I feel for you.  My mom passed away suddenly 13 years ago.  First thing you've got to do is of course get thru the visitation and funeral.  Give yourself some time to come to grips with this.  I highly recommend that you seek out some sort of grief counseling.  My dad, sister, and I did this about 6 weeks after my mom died, and it really helped alot.  It's up to you whether you choose individual counseling or group, but make sure to do one or the other.  It'll really help you out.  Also, find people to talk to, the more you talk, the better you will be able to work thru all this.  My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.  God Bless You.
762885
Yes you are I know there is not an excuse for being cruel and hurt full. But she has lost her son and the grief and pain of that is unbearable. She is not thinking rationally, she needs to blame something or in this case someone. Let this alone let her grieve I am sure she loves her grandchild and will come to her senses. In the meantime perhaps when all the do gooders come racing over to tell you every word that she has said perhaps you should tell them that you do not want to hear it! This keep you from being hurt and quite frankly helps these people realize that they are not helping anyone by running back and forth with he said she said nonsense.I am so sorry for rthe pain that you all are going thru. Perhaps the easiest way for you to have compassion for her is to remember how devastated you would be if you lost your little boy. Beleive me whether they are 3 days old or 50 a mother never recovers fully from losing her child.
871644
Two of my friends mothers have died it is a very sad time because you are without the most loyal, loving, caring, woman you will ever meet in your life. Lets start off with my neighbors. They have a boy my age who was ten at the time and a daughter who was only three when the aweful event occured. Their mother had been hopitalized for almost too months with a very serious cancer and she saddly died. There was a lot of mourning and nothing seemed to cheer either of them or their father up. We tried invited them over for dinner, taking them to the movies, playing whole family games outside like flash light tag, badmitten, soccer, basketball. Nothing seemed to work. I especially felt bad for their young girl who would have to go through puberty and such withouth her mother which I would not have been able to do with out my mother. About a year later it went back to normal and the mourning wasn't still going on even thought they were oviously still upset and probably thought about her everyday. About a month ago a classmate of mine lost her mother. She was at school bright and early the next day which seem odd. She didn't cry, frown, or seem at all upset. This girl and her mother did not have a good relationship. She was in my kindergarten class when her mother was put in to a mental institute and moved in with her grandmother. Her mother had tried to hurt her and hurt herself. I remeber he once telling me her mother had run over her own foot with a lawn mower. There were also many other little strange, gross stories. She never really seemed upset about any of these things happening and I think that is why she did not care much when her mother passed. I think the mourning period will last occording to how close you were to you mother. My neighbor was attached to his mother and was sad for a very long time. My classmate did not have a good relationship with her mother so she did not get very upset about her mothers death. If you friend was attached to her mother she will probably be sad and feel as though a part of her is missing for the rest of her life. For right now there isnt much you can do to make her feel better it isn't a subject that can easily slip your mind. Just try to be kind and wait until she feels better. Don't try too hard that its obvious that you are trying to make her feel better. Good Luck. I hope that you friend comes out okay. All the love too you.
39827
I am so very very sorry for your loss.  Ive lost a lot of family members so I know exactly what you are feeling.  One thing that got me through the tough times was actually talking to the person as if they were right there in person with you.  Tell her how you are feeling and about your day and that.  Find a nice place to take a walk in and just talk.  She is still with you.  She is watching over you.  She knows you love her.  And she loves you very much.  Im sure she doesnt want to see you so sad.  It will take time sweetie.  But, the pain does get easier.  I promise.  And by talking to her, it helps to ease that pain a bit more.  You will be ok.  I promise.
571861
My Mother died almost 16 years ago, I had a 3 month old baby at the time.\n\nI think of her daily, at the beginning I went through the stages of thinking I should have done more to help her, or maybe I should have made more cups of tea, I thought of big things and stupid little things.\n\nAnd remember that God couldn't do everything himself that is the reason he created Mothers, and from time to time he wants them back.\nIf you don't do this you would just give up.\n\nJust try to think about the good things you did for your Mom, and the fun times you had together, if you find yourself smiling don't admonish yourself, it is allowed even though you will think that you shouldn't ever smile again because your Mom's not here with you.\n\nDo not stand at her grave and weep she is not there, she is all the flowers in the garden and all the other good stuff around you.\n\nI am sorry your Mom died so quick without illness and wish you love and happiness for the rest of your life as I would imagine your Mom would be thinking. \n\nShe could be watching you every now and then to make sure you are alright, or if she fullfilled her life ambitions she may just stay in heaven looking up family and friends.
773779
What a great man you are for giving her space. Death makes us take time out to reevaluate our life. Especially the death of a parent. I commend her for telling you when she needed space before things got nasty. I would send her gentle reminders that you are still thinking about her. A card is always a nice gentle way to say.. HEY I am thinking about you.. What a wonderful person you are for being there, and loving her from afar. Give her the space that she wants, but make sure to reminder her occationally of what you are feeling. The problem is.. it usually take about a year for a woman to come out of the "fog" of loosing a parent. Just be there for her.. and GOOD FOR YOU!
447242
My deepest condolences for your terrible loss.\n\nYou have my heartfelt sympathy at this time.\n\nI regret that I am unable to attend the funeral services.\n\nPlease know that my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.\n\nPlease let me know if I may be of assistance in the future to you.\n\nWarmest and Kindest Regards.....