am depressed through worry about my offspring what can i do? i really don't want to throw her out?
595025
I think to stop worrying so hard\n\nshe is home with you and if you can keep it stable and in a predictable routine then it will help her regain stability emotionally\n\nI know that is hard to do when it is a loved one but sometimes it is the small things in life that can make all the difference
843177
You are a good mom and my heart goes out to you, that's horrible.  Well, you have to pray for starters, ask God to take care of this for you.  And LISTEN.  That's the best thing you can do for those kids is let them vent, let them have a comforting place in your home......sounds like you provide that already so good on you.  That woman needs some serious couselling.  I'm afraid she won't change unless she decides to OR unless everyone involved can clear their head, be ready and strong, and STAND UP TO HER TOGETHER.  She's picking on her daughter because she can, that's what bullys do.  It will be hard but if you all stand together and tell her her ways are unacceptable, she may get worse for a while or she may not speak to anyone for a while, but she will be forced to think long and hard about it.  From there, the choice is hers.  She does not have the right to cause this much grief to all of you and she needs to decide to stop, or spend the rest of her life without you all.  Your son and daughter in law are blessed to have you, good luck.
106737
I think that it's a normal thing. You are attached to them, and it's perfectly fine to feel sad. Whoever says you're not normal apparently doesn't have kids or grandchildren...and if they do, well, they are sad for thinking it's wrong.
367630
I understand how you feel, you wonder sometimes why some people have children and don't deserve them.  Your mother is manipulative and sick, she has pressed all your buttons and knows where they are because she's the one who put them there.  She's toxic and needs to grow up.\n\nYou need to give yourself permission to be happy, you need to let go of the child inside of you and become the adult you were meant to be.  You need to believe you deserve to be happy.  Your mom made her world the way it is, and clings to you because she can.  I implore you to get some counseling so you can stand up for your right to happiness.\n\nYour mother has to realize she cannot manipulate you, she won't ever change, as people get older they get worse and you don't need this albatross around your neck.\n\nParents are our protectors, our nurturers, they are supposed to put us before themselves which is every parents obligation in life.  You don't owe her a thing, she owes you a good and healthy life.  You didn't asked to be born, let her stay in bed and "die" she's manipulating you and everyone else has figured that out.\n\nYou need to have some peace and some calm in your life.  It's too short and you don't deserve to be guilty.\n\nI hope you find the peace you seek.  Good Luck.
588462
why don't u call the number of the office that sent u this letter and demand for all of the details? obviously u are not the only responsible for that kid, where is she? how is raising her? why don't u call there and ask what is going on? what makes u wish to stop her after 9 years u didn't do anything? if u have changed Ur mind now, after all of this time, first try to understand what is she going throw?!
1073635
First of all let me suggest you not even think about having a baby.  Not because you're so young but because you want one for the worst possible reason.\n\nYou need to learn to love yourself before anyone else can learn to love you.  I'm not saying that's easy.  I've over 50, and have been struggling with it all my life... I think I'm there- if I haven't burned all the bridges by now.\n\nAnd let me clarify, learning to love yourself doesn't mean you just go out and act all narcissistic (self-centered, spoiled) like some people seem to think when they hear that.\n\nI find it helps to do things that help others or improve the world in some way.  When I do good for others I feel good about myself.  Get involved with life- go places, do things.  Find a way to make a difference. (volunteer work- visit your grandparent they'll appreciate it)  Walk in the forest and appreciate nature.  Look for what beauty there is in the world.  It's easy to see what's wrong with the world, but there's still much to appreciate if you expand your consciousness and become aware.\n\nAbove all don't compare yourself or your situation with others around you.\n\nDo search and find the words to the poem, Desiderata.  It will help you understand.  You have your whole life ahead of you.  Don't take half a century to get to know yourself and appreciate life, like I have.
1004298
Don't feel guilty about what happens to him if you're unhappy.  You're carrying too much weight on your shoulders.  Worry about yourself.  You should not take pity if you want to end something clean.  Besides, you are not his mother.
396115
You need some encouragement little one. Tell your parents or your counselor how you are feeling. Don't handle this burden on your own.
1134112
Mine drives me nuts too...Just stick to your beliefs and raise your child the way you want her raised.  Don't let her bother you.
1096604
I am sorry that you feel this way, how terrible for you.\n\n I think you need to sit down with your mom and have a dicussion--not a screaming match-- and tell her honestly how you feel. It may be that she honestly has not realized that the situation makes you feel like this. Nomother would deliberately make their child feel like that on purpose, but Moms are people who have have feelings  too, and of course they makemistakes like anyone else.\n\n I hope you can have a good talk about this, and work it out.
84408
Little by little!\nWell, if you are concern about afecting your little one, I think you maybe more inclined to do so by reacting this way. You are reacting with FEAR. \n\nDepression is a living hell, people who suffer it is not crazy. I understand your fear of going to the Dr. but going to make a checkup, or talk to him does not mean you are accepting that you have some sort of depression.\n\nMy guess is that you can go trought your life without the need of a physcologist or even worry about being depress or diagnosted for any.\nYou say you think you have it to. Why do you suspect that, just because you have been feeling bad or sad?\nyou will feel worst if you keep worring about it. Feeling sad, or depress does not mean you are clinical Depressed.\n\nWorrying, and panic are roads to do so. So fist of all, STOP. Dont worry anymore about it. \nMaybe because of your family you are inclined to depression. Most of the times Depression is trigered by something, an event, or an circular worrying cicle like the one you are doing. Few, very few are the cases when depression is a Pathological illness. \n\nMy best advice is:\ndont panic, ther is no reason to do so. \nIf you need to talk to a doctor, just to get to know the facts do so. or look it up in the Internet. just press "DEPRESSION" on a Search engine and you`ll find a lot of stuff to study.\n\nReally, dont be afraid.
684590
You need to sit down with your mother and be VERY clear that you are your child's parent, and although you appreciate that she loves and cares about your children, they are ultimately YOUR responsibility.  If this behavior continues, your children are going to become very disrespectful of you, and you will have NO authority over them because they will know that Grandma will bail them out.  It's a very bad situation.  Best of luck!!!
1133313
Well with you being sick you’re self and having children in the house it is not safe for you to be there. You need to call someone to have her removed from your home. Anyone I know it is bad to say but if she is hitting your children get her for assault and have her arrested. Your children’s safety is the most important right now. As a mother you must protect your children at all cost.\nOnce she is arrested or taken in she will be evaluated and placed in the appropriate place. \n\nI know it does not have to make you feel guilty for feeling this way but you nor your children deserve this. Where is your husband in all of this it is his grandmother? If this continues there could be terrible results. With having a sick baby at home I am sure there is crying she may freak out and hurt your baby. You can love her and watch over her when she is living somewhere else. Tell her she has no choice she must find different living arrangements.
1012972
Your isolating yourself aren't you? Yes your pain is real,we all suffer in life ,but these are lessons, to learn how to live for the better. Have you received counseling for the abuse? And living in 8 foster homes was no picnic either , I know i have two brothers i took in and although I'm not related they are my kids. They have suffered greatly also, but slowly but surely they are moving on in life. Now another thing you probably have is the feeling that theres really no one out there for you. That's just not true, hun I wouldn't be here typing this letter to you if I didn't care. Neither would any of these other people. If you would like to talk some more just ask I will talk , I will listen, and I will feel what ever your experiencing and I will give it my best shot to walk through the misery you are experiencing at any given moment. I'm a mom, and yes of 8 of my own biological children, but my heart has room for more, so you decide if u want to contact me, just dont feel alone reach out to some one ,ok you are cared about know that, its a start to healing and gaining some kind of self esteem.
658814
Your kids are right now very vulnerable, and depending on you their mother, to feed them, nurture them,and love them a lot. I have seen parents mistreat their kids even in public places and it make me so mad to see them do that. Please have a little patience with them and ask God to give you, above all a lot of self control because it takes a lot to have it with two kids so near in age to each other. Good luck and may God be with you in the months and years ahead.
552468
Just open up to her about your feelings on the situation and you know good mothers would always welcome back their children. \nWish you luck....
537325
I feel you very much on that one.but i think your the one who is on the fault you have got them so use to you picking up after them now they dont care you should have made a routine from the begining.sit and seriously tell them its not right and they need to help you out.i am sure they love you and they will understand,