man out of long term marriage,says he loves me but doesnt want a relationship.what gives?
602587
Speaking as one that was in a 25 year marriage that failed, when it first happened , the LAST thing I wanted was another relationship right then. I went out with several ladies, and I really liked some of them, but NO realtionship! Years later, I think I'm now emotionally ready for one. He probably cares a great deal for you, and in time, I see a future there possibly, but not now for sure. Just be patient, love him, and you just might get the man of your dreams. Good Luck!!
261408
This guy is full of it.  If he wanted to leave his wife, he would have already done it.  It sounds more like they are in an open relationship and just aren't telling anyone.  Plus why would you want to be with someone who was so needy that they have to find someone before they are willing to leave someone else.  Come on, if a person is that scared to be alone, they have some serious problems that you don't want to have to deal with.
307369
He wants to make sure that everyone knows that you are WAY off the market.  He has made a very small commitment, but if your not planning on marrying him I would cut and run.  He sounds somewhat controlling, but it could just be that ya'll are young and tenatious.
563566
Love is one thing , lust is another. Sounds to me like he regrets being married and if he was that immature to marry someone and want to start having affairs two months later. He does not know the meaning of love. Of course he is going to tell you he doesn't care about his wife .Because he wants to get you in the bed. I admire you for being an honest person. Tell him to leave you alone, that you deserve better than a man who doesn't take marriage serious. chances are if he would do that to a women he promised to forsake all others for, then he would have no second thoughts of doing it to you. Move on to better things.
832716
he will never know the true u, he has a preconcieved idea of who he thinks u are, based on his own belief system, and his thinking. life is way to short to put up with a man who treats u as he does. sounds almost as if he don't really want to be there that maybe he would rather be somewhere else. he doesn't value you, if he did he would treat you better. if u have spoken to him and told him how u feel and still he continues to treat you like this, maybe it's time to get out of the marriage, and quit kidding yourself. when we get hurt it takes awhile to forgive and get over a trust issue, one can't just go back as they were. maybe it's time to make some changes for yourself, and decide if your really happy in this relationship. sounds as if you depend on him financially and need to stay for that reason, but that's never a good reason to stay with an angry hurtful person. sounds as if he hates himself, and maybe he has someone else in his life.
720130
If after two years he states this to you, he obviously knows what he wants.  I know it hurts, but you can go on.  You may be lonely and want this man or a relationship, but think about this.  Try to involve yourself in other activities such as volunteering to give yourself that sense of pride that no one, not even a man can take away from you.  Move on.. one day at a time.  perleo@yahoo.com
206759
He may be trying to do either.  Just remind him that you are now ex-partners, and he needs to keep his social life to himself.  Refuse to get involved in this sort of discussion.  Sounds like it was a good idea to break it off.  He doesn't have clear boundaries.
666890
Wow, this is a sad situation, and I'm sorry you are in it.  Somebody once told me that even if you are married or in a relationship, sometimes you are alone.  It sounds like this relationship is nowhere between 50/50 on giving and receiving.  Think about it, you do everything he wants you to do, but in return he won't do anything for you.  What do you put up with that?  My advice is pretty straight forward.  You need to decide what you want out of this guy.  Then you need to tell him what you need.  If he truly loves you, he will give you what you need.  And if he does not give you what you need, I beg you to leave him.  Yes it will suck to be alone for a little while, but wouldn't you rather have the door open to someone who will give you what you need in the long term?  I wish you luck.
746203
It sounds like he is putting you off because he does not want a commitment. More than likely he wants to date other woman but when he visits he wants to be able to get some from you too. Don't put up with that. Move on. Find someone that respects you and is on the same level as you. Find a man that is where you are in life. Take care.
171693
My first thought is, thank goodness he is honest about this. Secondly there have surely been signs that he has not been as serious as you have been. After 2 years it should have got past liking you into something much deeper. Sounds like he has led you on. Take off your rose colored glasses and see what is really there. Why did you stay? Did you set yourself up for a no win situation because you don't think your worthy of anything else? You are, but you need to learn to love yourself before you can love anyone else. A good relationship has good communication so there would be no surprises after 2 years. Let him go, work on yourself and then and only then will you be ready for more. You will also be more picky, more accurate in your choices.
202755
It sounds like he's committed to you so what's the hold up.  What do you want out of the relationship?  If you really love him tell him.  If you don't let him go. The relationship won't go anywhere if you hold it back.  Tell him how you feel or eventually you will lose him.
767848
look for another husband....apparently he is looking for someone that is not you.  Which means he is not happy with your relationship.
1173061
he will go back to the same old stuff once you agree to stay, unless you resolve the underlying problem and if the problem is a behavior thing of his you arent going to change it. sounds like you are done and when that happens there is no going back. look if the guy really cared about the marriage he would've changed things when you said you were unhappy instead of waiting until you said i'm leaving. do you really want to spend your life with your bags packed because thats the only thing that gets through to him? yes you said better or worse, but sometimes it just isn't worth it. only you can decide that, to me it sounds as if you already have. if you've already given him 100 chances to step up to the plate he obviously isn't going to and 100 more won't be enough either. good luck to you, things will work out!
109344
It (probably) means that it wasn't meant to be. You two have lived it up and have produced two lovely children. I'm sure the both of you love them more than life itself. But perhaps that's where it ends...It seems like you have tried everything. Hell, you even went to counseling. Good job on both of your parts. You two want it to work. Maybe you're going through a phase? Maybe you should spice things up a bit. Join a club together, join together in a new sport, go hiking, camping, maybe you could spend less time with each other. Mabe ALL you need is a BREAK. C'mon now...16 years together. THAT tells you something. It cannot just stop like that. Do not give up. There is a reason why the two of you are together. There is a reason why you met, why you got married, why you decided to create children. Reminisce together about the days when you were younger, the crazy things you guys did for each other, the first time you told each other 'I Love you', etc. Do not give up. If it's an attraction/physical thing, work it out (Literally). Get sexy, make him look at you like you're the hottest thing to have walked this earth. It's not over sweetie. I believe in you guys.
424416
Commitment issues. =)\nEverybody has them pretty much. It is scary to think that you'll be with somebody for the rest of your life. No more scoring other chicks. No more one-night-stands. No more late beer nights with guys from the bar. Instead, every day, rain or shine, wake up in your wife's face. =) You should be glad. He's afraid of commitment, because he knows he'll only have you for teh rest of his life. This way, you'll know he doesn't think he'll divorce you. Marrying is a huge event. It changes who you are and your future life. It's a big step and he just needs some time to think when to take that big step. He wants to prepare himself so nothing will turn out bad.
561757
Now I got your problem- Sweetie... You have to move on your life.. for all you know he might have been married all the time you had chatted with him.. And you dont love him... this is not love... love is when you actually let go of the person whom you say you love and when that person comes back to you... you can say its love. Right now its nothing more of an attraction. Get out and meet new people.. try n get over him... if he doesnt want have a relationship with you stop pusuing him...!!!
178636
2 things.. one - may be he loves you but is afraid of commitment... two - may be he doesn't love you at all and it was just a slip of the tongue the first time he said it. Observe his actions and how he treats you. You'll get hints from there.