my girlfriend of 5 years and the mother of my only son just left me  whats my next move?
599908
Skip town..change your name and social security number...\nthat way she doesn' take any more of your stuf and get all that child support dough.
598842
Go back to your therapist. Also look for a single-mom support group near you or online, (email me if u want!) Trust me girl I know from the bottom of my heart. My ex husband ASKED me for a divorce while i was in school. But I pulled through, we struggle every day but I thank God for my true friends that have held me up. If you are suicidal you definitely need to talk to someone. Biggest thing you can do is make it an absolute priority to take time for yourself. Put the baby to bed a half hour earlier and go take a bath, turn on a workout video, chick-flick, whatever, have a glass of wine, paint your toenails...anything you want as long as its just for YOU. Remember a happy mom makes a happy kid...NOT the other way around.
627137
You need help and you are trying to help her but if you don't find that inner strength to stop feeling quilty she is going to drown and take you with her. I don't know what is all at stake here or enough about the situation but you are going to have to find some strength to go to more than just Yahoo and asking for help. You may have to be really tough and be mother again. You may even may end up taking grandkids and leaving her to do what she has too.
295252
I don't know if there is a way to really get over it. She is your mom.  I do know how you feel.  My relationship with my mom has always been strained I always just let her say whatever and took it.  I eventually backed away and we didn't talk for a while. Then we slowly started talking again.  We still talk but don't have a close relationship.  I would give it some time and let her cool down.  Hopefully she will come around.  Hang in there.  But remember that even if she is your mom she shouldn't put you down and she should support you.  So even if you do have a relationship again with her don't rely on her for emotional support.
426225
take her and get away from your reality for a while. Go to the beach or a nice bed and breakfast, spend some quiet time together. If you have no kids, when you leave, turn off the cell phones!!! Make the trip about you and her....I promise things will be better after that!!...GL;)
51417
I have been in this same situation.  This is not advice, but how it transpired for me.  My ex-wife was not good for myself and my two sons.  I left her.  I had those same exact thoughts and dilemma on what to pray for. Take her back and get the good and the really bad.  Or go solo with two young children and deal with loneliness and single parent struggles.  What I realized was that my ex-wife was not doing what I believe was the will of GOD. And that was to take care of us and do what was pleasing to GOD.  So I opted to take the less traveled road and not go back. 14 years have passed since then.  I still have my sons.  I have my second wife now going on 12 years.  I have an adopted daughter who is almost 4.  My life is tremendously better than it was back then.  Why? I found a person who REALLY loved my sons and myself unconditionally. Also, she was a real living example of a Christian.  By the way, her first husband ditched her after she sent him through numberous colleges.  Funny how GOD works. Sometimes your answers will come in the most unusual ways.  GOD gives insight and wisdom to get you through. Take Care of yourself. You will do what is right.  Just remember, there can be great gain by experiencing loss.  Also, I am not an advocate of divorce. However, it is necessary for the welfare of the children and yourself if your spouse hardens their heart with no recourse after much prayer and pleading.
509881
WELL I THINK WHAT YOU DID FOR HER AND HER DAUGHTER WAS MORE THEN MANLY. MOST MEN WOULD SAY OH WELL AINT MY PROBLEM AND WOULD HAVE STAYED. I THINK THAT YOU SHOULD STILL HAVE A RELATIONSHIP WITH THAT WOMAN IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU CARE FOR HER VERY MUCH. YOU DONT HAVE TO LIVE THERE AND SHE CAN STILL DEVOTE TIME TO HER CHILD. HAVE EITHER ONE OF YOU TRIED TO MAKE THE DAUGHTER APART OF YOUR RELATIONSHIP SO SHE WONT FEEL LEFT OUT. WE AS MOTHERS HAVE TO LEARN HOW TO SHARE OUR LOVE AND ATTENTION. TALK TO HER AND YOU TALK TO THE DAUGHTER TRY TO BE A FAMILY NOT JUST MOM'S BOYFRIEND. IN THE MEAN TIME- TAKE KARATE, GO TO THE GYM, BECOME A BIG BROTHER,DO SOMETHING YOU WILL BE PROUD OF AND STOP MESSING WITH SKANKY WOMEN JUST IN CASE YOU AND MOM GET BACK TOGETHER
1048271
Firstly must say you seem like a very special man. Secondary I shall say that it is time that you concentrate on yourself a bit more (to be able to move forward)\n\nBe respectful, always reliable, helpful, be understanding, be her shoulder to cry on (life is funny.. but wheel turns). But at the same time give her space at this time as you don’t want to loose her.\n\nI had a friend who his wife left him for another man. They have two kids together. He was always there for her (but had other girlfriend but did not commit 100%: in fact I was one J ). If she was sick, or needed something, or pick their kids up: he was always there, kept nice contact with ex-in laws because of the kids.. She went back to him when she was in trouble. He let her. He let her leave him again for yet another man (even married) He was her friend, warned her about the guy who ended up to be an abuser. She left this guy in the end, she matured, and they now together (but he did not remarry), He is now 48, his wife 8 year younger. He married he as she was only 19.\n\n*******************************\nJust remember:\n*******************************\n\nForming a relationship with your ex is entirely separate from the process of ending a marriage; if you work through the process to achieve your "emotional divorce," you can cultivate something entirely new. Your old relationship is over; take the steps to heal so that you can invest your energy elsewhere.\n\nGood luck.\n\nps meant to say: and you get a new hobby and have fun with other people as soon you will feel better and might make new friends and will not feel lonely. The reason why we LOVe or MISS people is beuase we miss that comunication. Once you communicate with others it will be better for you. And who knows, maybe your ex -wife seeing how popular and outgoing you are might ant to herself be your friend asap.........  show her your new side that she did not see before :-)
559716
You should take food over there (healthy food, no kool aid) and talk to her about getting a job. There is no reason for a young woman to stay home and live on child support. Make it clear to her that this is the last time you will be feeding her and her kids. Help her get the phone number to an employment office, a bus schedule, a resume.. what ever it is that she needs to get employed. Talk to her about finding day care for the kids. If she is receptive to this then great. If not then you need to walk away with the understanding that someone else will feed that family. They ate before she met you. Ask her what kind of an example she wants to set for her children. A user or a go getter? There was something about her that you liked at the start. let her know what that was. \nIf, on the other hand, you get over there and find that she has more than milk and eggs walk away and never look back.\n Good luck.  and God bless.
489450
Your wife caught you and her mother together, and that is why she took her life.  Don't you think you've provide enough uproar in your children's lives?  Do you really need to keep going down this road and make sure that your children are never able to have a happy home life and relationship of their own?  Do you really feel the need to make sure that your children spend the rest of their lives in therapy?  \nYou will never be a family again, their mother took her life as a result of your actions, she was their mother, and can not be replaced by their grandmother.  And subjecting them to the sick twisted relationship that you've gotten yourself involved in is not helping them.\nPersonally I hope someone in the family that you are now banished from, plucks up the idea of taking you to court and prove you an unfit parent and get those children away from you.  Your not mentally sound if you really truly believe that your wife has forgiven you.
369914
It's so hard when a child is involved,you are always going to be second best to her baby(it's the same with single dads,I know from experience),but if you truly love this lady and you want to make it work,then tell her how you feel,share your thoughts on children and suggest that you and her son should spend some lads time together,this way you score brownie points and give him a little male input as well.Don't ever change who you are for someone else and if she insists that her son is the ONLY  man in her life,let her go.\nGood luck
659139
I know how you feel my mum and i went through the same thing except she didn't have a child by him.She got married i did try to warn her but to no avail there is nothing else you can do except be there for her.my mum divorced after a year and moved away.I'm happy for you with your grades at least there not going down the pan.I am shocked she is still with him after saying he would be happy if you was dead.Hope you can make her see sense good luck xx
202572
Please Show her Love be there for her but tell her that you want tolerate this behavior in you and your sons life again atleast give her a chance to correct her mistake.you may still be mad at her but be there for her let her know that you still love her and that you want your family back dont desert her.thats what the devil want put God in your life more than ever know he can help your family with God all things are possible if you have faith.Know is the time that you remember your Marriage Vows.SICKNESS AND HEALTH THROUGH GOOD N BAD.GOOD LUCK
586316
Wow! You should be proud of your son and quiet frankly,of youself too!! I feel for you and I totally relate to your situation.I am in a simular situation but I'm the Mom.\nI think from what you have said,you have done everything right,so don't stop now!! If your son is still loyal to his mom despite the fact she may not deserve it,that says alot about the character of your child and what you must have instilled in him growing up.\nLet it be his and your future daughter in law's day. I understand it won't be easy but  you sound like a father that would do anything for his son and I think it is absolutly wonderful that you are with someone that supports you and your son,I commend her also. I like what the girl said in one of your other answers,have fun with it ! Just gear yourselves up for this one!Be so nice yor sickening!! Don't,whatever you do,let your ex or anyone else cheat you or your son out of this day.\nThink about it.You have had all of the most wonderful memories and cherished times with your son being there for him the way that you have.He is getting ready to take one of the biggest steps into manhood that a young man can.I would venture to tell you that there is no anymotisy that you and your ex have that can be greater than the good you and your son have.\nKeep these things in perspective.Don't give up these gifts.\nGood luck ! I truely hope you and your wife and your son and future wife are the winners!!!!
678864
Lots going on.  First (believe it or not it's not totally the mom thing) she seems to be unhappy.  Financial instability can cause lots of stress (and some resentment).  Children are a mother's first natural instinct, and if she feels you are not caring for your obligation to provide this seems as if it may raise a level of resentment.  On top of all that's going on within her own family, she has lost her mother.  Probably was her best friend too. (the mother)  With her loss (and my sympathy to her for her loss) she feels more alone than ever before (I would guess).  Returning home seems to be an escape, leaving her home unattended.  If she is unhappy at home then why would you assume she would want to be there?\n\nFrom what you have said, my first instinct is to feel that the problem may lie with you.  I'm not calling you a looser, we all go through rough times, but winners never quit.  Talk with her honestly, and ABOVE ALL LISTEN CAREFULLY to what she says.  You don't have to agree with her but you MUST understand where she is coming from.  If she feels you TRULY are listening then she may begin to draw closer to you, close like it once was.\n\nRemember, she loved you once, she can love you again.  Unless there is something more you did not disclose, like infidelity.\n\nGive her the room she needs to grieve, and GIVE HER SUPPORT.  If you don't have a job, go out and get one.  It's easier than you may think.  I'm a Quality Control Specialist in the Aerospace industry and some times it's not easy to find a job in this field.  Well, I'm always willing to do something off beat to get a few extra bucks.  Really, there is lots you could do.\n\nBut Talk (listening) is the best first step.  And take what she says to heart because it is HER FEELINGS.  There are no Right or Wrong feelings, just Feelings.  Respect hers and she will respect yours.
714578
My husband of 5 years.Left several months ago.I was with him since i was 15, So, to say i was devastated is an understatement!\n\nFirst of all, Friends like you are priceless during such a difficult time such as this.She may not see that right now because she is consumed by grief.But, she will eventually!!\nMy best advice for you to help her is,Dont let her spend soo much free time alone.Make sure she is getting out everyday and continuing the routine of her daily life!! As for "going out" make sure you try to have a girls night as often as possible, the more she gets out there, the more she will realize that there is life after a break-up.\nMake sure, that you are a good sounding board to her.Regardless if she repeats herself over and over.I know it can be annyoing, but let her get it out!! Not only would it be theraputic she may even be able to work out the problem and let go. good luck
425646
awww :( i'm sorry...try to go back to the someone that you love....tell her how much you love her...if you want her back....6 years is a long time, and its not too late to save it from slipping away