My father passed away 15 years ago! my stepmother has now remarried but still wishes to be buried with my dad?
599103
Dear Friend,\n\nThis is essentially two questions -- one sounding in contract and one sounding in real estate.  \n\nFirst, at or before the time your father was buried, there should have been an agreement made with the cemetary as to how the grave would be kept.  Who made that agreement with the cemetary?  What did it say about your stepmother?\n\nSecond, who owns the plot?  If your family owns it/bought it/ paid for it, their word is final.  If not, not.\n\nTalk to the cemetary about who gets to make this decision.\n\nYours in Him,\nFrancesois
145181
Oh, I'm so sorry to hear about your Mom, but I think your response to honor her memory is awesome. Yes, it's quite normal, even after all the years have gone by. I just lost my Dad last month and I feel that he touched my life like nobody else ever could. I hope to feel that same way forever too. Memories are meant to cherish. Your Mom was lucky to have a devoted daughter like you. I think when we lose a parent it's a gap that no one else can ever fill. And it's important to pass along those memories and traditions to our children.
900851
I know what it is to lose a parent whom you love and who loved you.  My father has been gone for 12 years and still I think of him.  We were very close when he died.  I took care of him in his last few years.  He suffered from cancer and it was terrible and I hurt for him everyday.  You never get over the loss of a loved one.  You can only try to live with the loss and only time will heal the hurt and the loneliness death brings.  The thing to always remember is the good times you enjoyed with your father whenever the hurt returns and you begin to really miss him.  Also, if he was a Christian as my father was, know that he is with God and his suffereing is over.  He is in the best place possible and I know I want to be there with my father and I am sure you want the same thing.  Pray to God to heal you of your hurt and bring to your remembrance all the good times you and your father had whenever you begin to miss him and the hurt returns.  Believe me....it will help more than you think.
977325
Chances are sweetie that your biological father either died or didn't want anything to do with you.  Fortunatelly for you, you had a father in your life that wanted to be your dad.  Let the past go, I know it's hard not having your parents living, but that is no reason to search for someone who was never in your life growing up.  If you think that this will heal some emotional scars you have from losing your mum and pop your wrong.  Chances are if you do find your biological dad you will be very disappointed.  Let it go, remember, being a parent is not DNA, its taking care of you, teaching you, loving you, and being there for you through thick and thin.  Now that your grown that biological father can never do those things for you, so forget him!!
1080484
Hi!  I am sorry about the situation you are in.  I used to be a step-mom but now I am an adoptive mother.  When I married my daughters dad I automatically became step-mom.  I then adopted them (by the way, my husband had to adopt them with me even though he is the biological father).  My name is now on the girls birth certificates as if I was the one who gave birth to them.  The natural mother loses all rights- even her name on their legal birth certificates!  I hope you can give your step-mom a chance.  It'll be hard, I know.  I was lucky, my girls were very little and I'm the only mom that they know and love.  Is she mean to you or jealous of you?  Are you jealous of her relationship with your dad?   Please figure out why you don't like her and maybe the both of you can work it out.  You are not being disloyal to your mother if you like the step.  You didn't mention whether your mom is still in the picture.  I assume and hope she is still alive.  If not, I'm sorry.  Please, for your sake give step -mom a chance.  The more allies you have on your side the better.  Besides, I know you must love your dad and there could be no worse heartache than seeing the two women closest to him feeling that way.  See it in your heart to be happy for him.  There must be something worth liking about her if your dad picked her for his wife.
581715
Yes. Because when my dad died 40 years ago, he had no will, everything was a mess, and the family left behind had to sort things out. It was not easy and caused more pain and stress. Lesson - GET YOUR AFFAIRS IN ORDER...for the ones you love.
523523
The only way I could see them not letting you use it is if it wasn't paid in full.  Contact the cemetery, ask them what it was really about.  And you have the right to copies of anything you signed.  I have never heard of that excuse before.  I doesn't matter where he lived.  Get a copy of what you signed and if you feel they were wrong get a lawyer.  That was pretty low and thoughtless of them to tell someone something like that the day of the funeral.  I am really sorry you had to go thru something like that after losing your father.  My condolences.
683760
Pets are sometimes loved just as much as children.  I have recently put my black lab to sleep.  I miss him very much!  I have not gotten another dog, because I do not want to go through that pain again.  \n\nDeath is something that people handle differently.  Your sister is acting out to your step dad because she feels like she needs someone to vent too and for some reason this is who she has chosen to do so.  You also are dealing with the loss of your loved pet, so therefore, further pressure is put on you.  The cycle begins!  This is a chain everyone is taking the pressures out on each other.  Until everyone has come to the fact and ACCEPTED your dogs recent passing, your situation will not resolve.   You do not need to keep in it.  Talk to a friend of yours or if you want you can email me through my answers profile page.  Best of all, you may want to talk to your mom and step dad and let them know how the fighting and your dog's death is affecting you.  I hope this has helped.   Good Luck and God Bless!
1046850
You poor thing, I'm sorry about your mother.  As for your dad, you have to forgive him and move on.  Whatever is driving him has little to do with you.  It would be okay for you to ask your cousin for your mothers wedding bands, almost everyone not raised in a cave knows they should go to a daughter, not a niece.  Live well, know you did right by your mother and don't let daddy get to you.  At the end of the day, he has to be him but you get to be you.  Forgive him.
1028800
My mother passed on 3-17-01. My dad passed on 3-18-01. They were buried on 3-20-01. They divorced in 1959 and never saw each other again. Not a day goes by  without them in my thoughts. I think only of the good memories and although I miss them terribly, I have accepted it for what it is.  I had them for 46 years and now God has them for eternity. No one can tell you how to grieve, but time is a great healer. You`ll be fine. A Friend.
651515
I've been on both sides of this. I lost my mom when I was only 4 years old. My dad remarried almost right away. I was too young at the time to say anything. But later he divorced her and started dating again when I was like 12 years old. None of my siblings were happy about it. We wanted our dad to ourselves.  Well, they got married. We haven't always liked her or got along. But, my dad is happy and that's all that mattera. I've been on the other side too. I dated a man who had two teenage kids. Him and his wife had divorced recently. The kids did not want their dad to date. They made life very difficult and caused me a lot of heart ache. I really liked them and just wanted to get to know them. In the end I simply couldn't do it anymore and I left. He's dating again but I think he's talked to his kids since then and they are a lot more accepting. Moral of the story: If they make your dad happy try to be happy for him. I'm sorry for your loss.
1076531
You are so damn lucky that dad love you want you to live with him..... Guess what? My Mom and Dad have the most awful marriage and they were divorced when I was two and they remarried when i was 18. didn't last 2 months i love my mom and dad and they still put me in the middle between them. \n\nYou so lucky that your Dad love you... I lost my father he died having cancer he died Feb. 2006... UMMM i never get a chance to tell my father I love him wished that He never been like this. Before he died he told my uncle that tell my son I not mad at him and it my fault and I deserved this death. God Damn Him, I never stop thinking about him all my life still to this day.\n\nYou go and see what he is capable of and once you know that he same father that he love you and your brother and go live with him....Most kids stay with mom than dad. and sad part I wish I live with my dad I might help him change him better person but didn't happen.\n\nYou so lucky to have Dad that want you live with him and being there for you. That I don't have, I still missed my father so much that hurts me most that My mom hid me from my dad.\n\nWish you luck......and you are only 15 hrs from your mother.
703673
If your grandfather was remarried when he died, then his land and things belong to his new wife, that is if he didn't have a will.  She can decide what she wants to do with his stuff.  Why was it never attempted to try and discover if your mother was actually his daughter??  Sounds like they waited a little to late.
297748
Ouch, I never thought I would say this, but you need to talk to a priest/rabbi/cleric/personoffaithhere.  I would have a problem with her taking my biological child over there, but is that what is best for your stepchild?  Seriously, seek counseling you are going to need help getting over this one, I know I would.  Peace be with you.
183447
It's a tough situation.  I don't know if this will help you now but maybe later.  My Mom died when I was 12 and my father got a woman that I didn't like.  Grownups need someone to share their lives that they can communicate with in a loving manner.  I realized this and when my Dad asked me if I wanted him to leave her I knew that I could not replace the enjoyment she gave him.  So I told him I was happy that they were together.  He died of cancer a few years later, but they were happy years for him.  I guess adults need to feel affection and support from their partners and you may find benefits in having 1 parent, if not both, who are more content. I sympathize with you, just try to concentrate on your own life for now.  Things always change.
994766
Well, I can't speak from the perspective of a mother dealing with an ex's new spouse.  But I did have a stepmother, and our relationship was more like a friendship than mother-daughter.  Personally I preferred it that way.  I was a teenager when my dad married her, and it would have been inappropriate for her to try to be my "new mom".  I would suspect the same is true of your children, who are old enough to engage in friendships with adults.  If you feel your ex's new wife is overstepping her bounds, you should set the boundaries.  Ideally with your ex, his wife, and you in a meeting together to agree on each other's roles.  Let her know what you do and do not consider appropriate in her relationship with your children.  She should respect your decisions with regard to the children. As to a relationship between you and her, it would be ideal if you two could be some kind of "friends" but it doesn't always work out that way.  If she ignores you, so be it--as long as she abides by your ground rules.  She may simply be trying too hard to win the friendship of your daughter, but you would be the better judge of that than I.  I wish you the best of luck--it's never easy when spouses remarry.
435484
I totally understand what you are asking.  My grandfather spent nearly 10 years caring and loving my grandmother who had Alzheimers.  She passed away, and he got remarried less than 1 year later.  I think you need to look at her from her side.  She obviously loved your father dearly, but when you care for someone that long and there really isn't a whole lot going on between them because the other is sick, it's almost as if the relationship was over a long time before they actually passed away.  It sounds bad, and I don't mean it to, but give your mom the benefit of the doubt.  I'm sure she isn't trying to disrespect anyone.  Good luck.