To have children or not to have them......?
609369
Wait.  When the time is right you will know.  Or you'll get pregnant on accident and you'll make it the right time.  It's OK, your only 30.  It's not like you guys don't have plenty of time.  Enjoy life and each other.  Good Luck.
837365
Having a child to "make you feel better" or for some other shallow reason is never the right decision. What happens when you want to smack your child around or just get rid of them because is "makes you feel better?" You don't have a job, you don't have a husband, and you don't have family to support you. You definitely don't need to have a kid. Think about how hard you have it now and imagine how hard it will be for the child who has no grandparents, no father, and a mother who can't support it.
1036491
Talk to your parent's about it and weigh your options.. If you really feel you can not support a baby at this point in your life think about giving it up for adoption. There are many willing family's out there that can't have childern.
1050480
My husband and I at the same point in our lives..I am 37 and he is 36...My clock is almost finished ticking...I too am scared....(I don't understand why especially when 17 and 18 year old are having babies).   I find it especially hard when my friends and I get together...they all talk about their children and well I talk about my two dogs...I do feel uncomfortable...at times.  I think about having children on and off....I always put it off by saying it's not the right time or 'I say next year'...  I am happy at this point in my life and not sure after 17 years of marriage that a child would be a good idea...I just don't know...My husband says he does not want any children...but I do know he would make a great father....It is a hard choice  that I need to make quickly and I will have to make it soon  or time will run out....
1119024
It is an emotional experience that not everyone could handle. I think it is a privilege to be able to have kids, and if you could help someone who isn't able to do it, then why not? It depends on who it is of course, a family member vs a stranger..but each person knows their own capability. If I could make a couple happy I'll do it, I know I'll become attached to the baby after carrying it for 9 months, but I'll know what I am getting myself into before I do it...and like every other decision we make for ourselves in our lives, we deal with the consequences.
258073
Abortion . . . I believe is correct decision . . . when you have to make a decision . . . if you are using it as a form of birth control . . . I don't think it is acceptable.\n\nI never had a child aborted . . . but I have taken several friends to the clinic . . . to have it done . . . \n\nSome are devestated . . . and some are just relieved.  Some don't know what to think . . . and some thought that was the best decision they made in their lives.\n\nFor me these are the rules I generally follow . . . \n\n1) Am I mature enough to handle a baby? . . . (most children are abused because they are born to mothers or parents who are too young themselves)\n\n2) Can I financially support a child? . . . (most babies are undernourish because their mother or parent cannot supply them on what they need.)\n\n3) Am I in a stable relationship (married is perferred) . . . I would have never thought of having child if I wasn't married.\n\n4) Will I be there for my child?  Anytime anywhere. . . (having a child will end your social life . . . no more late night partying . . . no more drinking, smoking, etc.)\n\nThere are more . . . but right now . . . I don't remember . . . I hate being old (almost 35).\n\n---\n\nI would say don't have a kid . . . if you want to enjoy a party lifestyle, if your are still in school (high school or college), until you obtain the career you dream of . . . or on the way there, and until you are married . . . and have been married for at least two years.
689150
You can't have everything.  If you don't have children, you are free to do other things.  And there were many things I wanted to do but couldn't because I had decided to have a baby.\n\nDo I wish I didn't have him, absolutely not. He is a big part of my life and so many things that I could have done, would have been long forgotten by now.  For me, it was the right decision, but it would not be for everyone.
1175706
If you need to ask, DON'T have children... yet.\n\nEnjoy the many pleasures of childless living; travel, disposable income, a clean house, fine dining, etc.\n\nWhen you are both tired of an organized, simple, freedom-filled life, then you can consider borrowing someone else's child for a few days.  Don't rush into parenthood.  It's great, but it's not the only way to have an incredible life!
97577
Well, I don't think marriage is necessary. Some people stay partners and committed with our marriage. I think in the sense that it will confuse your children that it might be benificial if you got married. I think it would be tough to explain a commited relationship to kids, when you are not married. \n\nIt will also help in terms of medical coverage, and any medical problems that could arise should some one need power of attorney in case a decision needs to be made on life support.
608496
That is a very tough question. I am sure most people will have a very hard time answering it. However, as a single mother of 4 children, this one is easy for me. I would save my child. Even if I had a spouse, I think I would save my child. They are the future and without them, we are nothing. Plus, my children are a part of me. I helped create them. There is a bond that can never be broken. However, I find this to be a very awful question for anyone to have to answer. What made you think of such a question? I am very interestd to know.
282868
Personally I think you should go for it.  I'm a guy and have a 9 year old daughter.  I was never looking for a mommy for my child, she already has one of them.  \n\nI met a girl about 6 years ago and she was a bit freaked at first too.  It took her a little while but soon she fell in love with the idea.  We are married now and my wife and daughter are great friends.  If my wife never gave me a chance (only because I had a kid) all three of us would have missed out on a great thing.
946798
After 30, it is best healthwise to avoid having children (I don't care what the quack doctors tell you). Why does he want more?? Addition of children taxes the family budget and time. It is your body, and you have the right to not want this. Motherhood is an acquired taste, and it sounds like you have had enough of it (at least the pregnancy, diapers, loss of sleep, etc..) Is your husband willing to bear a part of that load - if not, this should be no contest. If he is willing to follow through with needed help, then it is up to you since you will be in misery for about 9 months. Either way, you both need to want this because negative effects will come if you don't buy into it. Be truthful when you talk to your husband, but be firm about your stand. He may deep down want a son of his own blood, but that is not a good enough reason to tax the family, and there is no guarantee of the sex of a child. My wife and I tried three times to have a daughter, but we ended up with three sons (I do have a precious granddaughter now). Anyway, good luck on resolving the standoff.
192209
compromise, do the career first. because it is definately harder when you have kids. personal experience. i don't get to spend much time with mine and it makes me feel guilty. but if i didn't work and do my career, i feel like i haven't fulfilled my destiny. i went at this backwards and now im paying for it. if i could i would do the job first that way i wouldn't regret it later. then you would have all the time in the world to be a mom.
365432
I'm in a similar situation with 3 kids (2,5,7).  At first I thought it would be better to be with a never-married single w/o kids; now I feel that it's better to be with a divorced man with or without kids because of the similar understanding and bad experience of divorce as well as the willingness and commitment to NEVER be divorced again, especially if someone has kids, there are too many people's lives our decisions are affecting.  I also need answers...thanks for asking and good luck!
907371
I know of a family that had 4 kids......they were first cousins, and they ended up having 4 kids with learning disabilities....and downs syndrome......\n\nSo I would say no...do not have kids unless you are prepared to have kids with many challenges.....
667560
Having children by two adults who love each other and want to expand their love onto their children is a good reason.\n\nHaving a child to try and keep a spouse is a very bad reason\n\nHaving children thinking it's going to solve your problems is a very bad reason\n\nHaving children because you are lonely and needing love, is not a good reason\n\nHaving children because you screwed up and didn't use birth control, is a sad reason.\n\nHaving children to entrap someone is a sick reason..
713099
I made a personal choice that if I didn't have kids by age 40, I just wouldn't at all. Mainly because of my health and possible health risks to the child, and because of what I felt would be fair to a child.\n\nI think it's a matter of health and also a matter of having the energy and time to devote to a growing child. I know some people over 40 have no problems with it.