My Boyfriend drank for the first time in 3 years?
600426
Is he an alcoholic? If so he has worked hard to stop. If not I think you are over reacting. He didn't drink for 3 years. I think you should give him an other chance. He came and told you he has been drinking. Give him credit for his honesty. Tell him why you don't want him drinking. If you really love each-other, you will work it out.\n\nGood luck.
245661
I have a 24 yr old alcoholic boyfriend. His father was an alchoholic for years, but quit, and his grandfather was an alcoholic until he had a heart attack. One of his brothers is deep into alcoholism, and one is on his way at the tender age of 16. I dont know HOW alcoholic he is, but in the past, he would rather buy beer instead of paying bills sometimes. \n\nI thought I was tumbling down the same downward spiral for a while. But pulled myself out when he started becoming a mean drunk (after about 15 beers). I wanted to be sober enuf from then on to remember everything mean he said to me and tell him about it the next day. \n\nBut Ive found a way to make him slow down alot. I dont mention beer at all. And I just dont drink with him any more. I dont offer to drive anywhere when he does get drunk. I also wont have sex with him when he's drunk, and I tell him what a jerk he was the night before.\n\nI've discovered that without a drinking partner on the same drunken level, then drinking becomes boring and lonely to him. Especially if I ignore him when he gets really drunk. Alot of times, anymore, he'll drink a beer or three, and realize its no fun alone, then stop drinking for the night and start working on his music instead.\n\nBut I also have an advantage in this situation - all his friends and 4 brothers live a half hour drive away from us and none of them drive over to our house. So he really doesnt have any peer pressure TO drink in our home.
475829
Apologize, apologize, apologize.\nThen just be honest and talk to him. Will he take your calls? If so just tell him what you just told us, that he is the best thing that has happened to you, and that you made a mistake, while under the influence and that it will never happen again, that you don't want to lose him as a friend, or as the man you love. \n\nAsk him has hasn't he ever done something he truly regrets in a moment of weakness and bad judgement. We all have to grow and learn life lessons as we go
176817
If you are having any doubts now then I don't think you are ready to be trapped in a marriage especially when he drinks.  I know that you said he only gets argumentive when he drinks but even still - when you're married drinking is the stupidist thing you can do.  There's so many more important things to do, more responsibilities and priorities that you will need to worry about and take care of that drinking is definitely a bad thing to involve.  If you argue all the time about little stuff then it would definitely not be smart to take your relationship to the next level and be stuck.  I thought me and my husband would be great together - we never argued or anything while dating and as soon as we moved in together and were married .. all of a sudden we were arguing over every stupid little thing.  It was little stuff ... but all the time and believe me even that will make u unhappy and miserable.  Don't drag on your relationship just because you have been together for 2 years. I believe you deserve someone better honestly.  Give it your all in working it out so you'll know if it ends that you tried all you could do and wont have any regrets.  Please take care and I hope it all works out for you the way you deserve.  Marriage is not what I thought it was - you will know what I mean when that happens for you.  Please hold off on it. Please - u deserve to be happy.
913660
Just wait for him to call you, if he doesnt call you within the next three days then he doesnt remember any of it. Then when you go out, tell him you want to go to dinner, then make not of his behavior, is he drinking a lot? Excessive? Is he just a natural slurrer? He was probably nervous about meeting you and probably kept drinking.  \n     I say give him a shot if/when he calls, there is no harm in that. Enjoy, you might have found a great guy that will make you laugh. If he doesnt call then just write it off to the fact that he was drunk.
803637
He just might be afraid of a relationship right now. Just give him the space that he wants, since you seem like a good friend. My guess is that this has happened to him more than once, but you shouldn't let him make those mistakes since your his friend. Just be there for him when the times are tough. When the time is right, he may think that it was worth the wait, but no more drinking!!! Good Luck!!!
801700
You had 26 answers already at the time of my replying, and i didnt read them but i can imagine what most of them will say. You are young, your boyfriend doesnt treat you right and doesnt treat his body with respect - so why do you think he will be good for you when he's not good to himself?\n\nOf course you have got involved with someone else. Its natural. You want a proper life with someone who cares. Its not a mess sweetheat, he's no good for you so just leave! Really, just pack up your stuff and leave. It may be hard but it will be best in the long run.\n\nGet support from family and friends, and just do it! A&#92; year from now you will be SO much happier!\n\nIf a friend was in your situation what would you tell them? You'd said he doesnt deserve you, wouldnt you? Come on, ring your mum or a friend and say you want help leaving..... they will be delighed to help believe me!\n\nMy daughter left a relationship like this last year. He was a drinker and had started to push her around too. Now she is with a lovely bloke.\n\nI hope you get the strength to do this, and make a good life for yourself.
579213
After three years somebody needs to step up to the plate here. If he can't do it and you can't do it consider this. Have a good friend of yours, his or the both of you drop some subtle hints to him. That way it won't be like you said anything to him yourself. Make sure it's someone you can trust completely. Hopefully you can get your answer that way. Good Luck!
944223
Ask him.  Alcohol usually helps.
673303
It sounds like he doesn't have much confidence in himself, he knows he is doing wrong with the alcohol, doesn't think he is good enough so expects that you will go out and find someone who is.  Plus it sounds like he is trying to push you away before you have a chance to do it to him, its human nature to protect yourself even at the cost of others.  Or on the other hand he very likely could be cheating on you.
632184
I wish every answer I supply could be a positive one.\n\nIt sounds like things are falling apart in the relationship, and it may not survive the seperation.\n\nWhat you might have to do is to give each other freedom - as unwilling as you are, and wait and see what happens in three years.  You might or might not get back together - only time will tell.\n\nIt sounds like you have undue pressure on you right now and that won't help you to concentrate on your studies in September.  You need to clear your mind.\n\nHe should have established trust in you and in the relationship, but perhaps the problem is with him - maybe he doesn't really trust himself.\n\nLet him go and if it is meant to be, then in three years, you will go back with each other.\n\nAt least you had this time together to love each other - as it is said - better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.\n\nGod bless and good luck to you both.\n\nThe best is yet to be.
641358
He sounds like he's really possessive, insecure and a loser.  Drop him now before your relationship goes on much longer.  The truth always comes out when a person is drunk.  It may take several more months before his true personality comes out.  But you got a good preview while he was drunk....)(
382224
Well, I don't know how long you have actually known him because you didn't say, but I would say to just keep your guard up.  It sounds like he may be pretty fickle, where you seem to know what you want.\n\nI would enjoy hanging out with him but try really hard to not allow it to get too serious with him.  \n\nEspecially if he said something "about not caring for you about three years ago".  I would be very careful and keep my eyes open for someone else.\n\nGood Luck
503824
I agree with your conditions and had the same in my marriage it lasted 28yrs. He cheated 3yrs in and I forgave him by the time we had been together 15yrs he was an alcoholic and I sttod by him and tried desperately to get him to go for help. Then 7 months ago he came in pissed and hit me.....end of the 28yr marriage!!!!! Haven't seen him since. Stick to your conditions.
819405
My dad used to be an abusive alcohol....It was a very painful childhood growing up with all the verbal and mental abuse.....When I turned 22, he completely changed, became a Christian and quit drinking, cold turkey....It took time to heal our relationship, but now I LOVE MY DAD and he really is the best dad anyone could ever want.....We are very close and has been a lot of healing from the past.....He never really apologized, but with his radical change in behavior, I didn't need an apology because actions speak louder than words.....We never talk about the past, because I have forgiven him and I know he is a different person and I choose to let the past go, I can't change it, but only learn from it.....Just be patient and all things will come together.....Best of luck and what a wonderful gift  you have, the opportunity for healing your relationship with your dad, most people never get that chance....
1051700
Has he turned to alcohol because of the divorce or was there an alcohol problem and that is why you divorced? If he has just started abusing alcohol because of the divorce, maybe you can help him through this if he wants your help. I believe a divorced couple can get back together and have a wonderful life together. Once your divorced from that person, you see what you gave up, you see the mistakes you made in the marriage and when you go back into a relationship with that person again, you don't make the same mistakes as before. I know how you feel. I'm still madly in love with my ex. But he doesn't return the love. If your ex does return the love, then that's half the battle. Good luck, life it too short, go for it if you think it will work out.
1178340
Well, something has changed. I was in a crazy horrible relationship for way too long, let me help you out. First, have you tried talking to him about this?  Regardless....No one and I mean no one has the right to make you feel second class. No matter how long you have been together. It is sad and scarey when things start going down hill after years together but just because you have invested time is no reason to stay and find out if he is really going to hit you. Love doesn't behave this way. My guess is that he is doing something wrong and all that hiding is making him guilty and he is projecting that onto you. It is a pretty standard jackass tactic. You are better than that.....I wish you the best in making a decision that is safe and fulfilling for you. We only get one life.