How long should you be engaged before getting married??
598840
If you really love him wait! If he loves you he would have that house done just to be with you! you already have two kids do you want another one, a 51 year old one at that? Maybe he isn't ready but then if he wasn't he shouldn't have asked you! He is makeing excusses. Try this if you are haveing sex with him tell him you made up your mind no more sex till your married if he is getting it already why would he rush to get married? I understand he wants to make this house bigger for your two kids but buying pigs or chickens and haveing to put off the house for the animals is a  excuse! He want you to live with him but not to get married it sounds like so that he will have all the beneffits of being married with out being married! Don't give in to that or you may never get married. Think of your two kids what kind of signal will you be giveing them if you do this? Like you said neither of you are getting younger! Only you can decde what to do it's your life and your kids life's do what is best for all of you! If you let him to keep makeing excuses he will do it. If he really wanted to marry you he would have that house done befor now! He would spend all of his time working on the house that he could spare. Not sure how long you have been waiting but It don't look like you will be getting married anytime soon! There will always be something for him to do that he thinks is more important then the house! That means these thing are more important then getting married to you and have you and your kids to be his family! i understand this is a touchy subject and hope I wasn't to harsh! Good Luck!
1091576
However long it takes to plan the wedding.  If a couple is engaged than they are in agreement to getting married.  Why wait 2-3 years?  I've never understood long engagements.  When I was engaged I was looking at having our wedding 1 year later.  My mother in law asked why and I didn't have a good answer.  Only thing I could say was I thought that's how it was suppose to be done.  I was able to book the church and reception hall we wanted and we got married 6 months later.  I am so glad I didn't set some far off date.
437306
Only get married when your ready.  It could take 5 months or 5 years.  Don't rush it because you'll regret it if its not the right person.
339552
If you are worried about men appearing to be really nice and then turning in to "not to nice" after marriage, you should wait a few years before getting married. A person can pretend to be nice for a short while but can not continue so for too long. At the same time, you need to look at yourself to and see whether what you do is making the man change.
853401
I'm 20 and my fiance is 21.. weird... same ages.. we've been together for 3 years and engaged 1.. we will have been engaged for 2 and together 4 when we get married next September. I don't think age is an issue.. you have to do whats right for you when you're ready, you can't put a time frame on love  :) if you and your boyfriend want to be engaged 20 years and have a 10 year honeymoon, by all means.. do it ... do whatever makes you happy.. life is too short to worry about what other people think =)  good luck
852971
Her behavior is a good indication of what she really wants in life.  You need to tell her that you want the marriage to be important, and not the material things.  If this is how you truly feel, you need to break (or at least postpone) the engagement.  Engagement (and marriage) should only be entered into if you have NO feelings of uncertainty.  This is not your circumstance, so act now - before it's too late.
1136866
Its whenever you are comfortable enough to do so, and where your values stand.  My now fiance and I moved in with eachother after only two months of dating.  Some people think that you should not live with eachother until you get married...I disagree...
681845
Karina, is this you? Sorry, but this sounds too much like my son who is 19, and his fiance who is 25. Took me off guard! I think that you shouldn't jump into marriage right away. At 19, my son is SO not ready to get married right now. He's just not mature enough yet to deal with everything that comes with being married. Being engaged is one thing, being married is another. I say, go for a long engagement. Take time to really get to know each other.  Put more effort into thinking more of the marriage instead of just the "big wedding" every girl dreams of. You both are young and are still growing and maturing in so many ways. What both of you want from life right now may be different for both of you in a few years. Especially him. If you're really serious about this, my advice would be to wait a few more years.
61120
Marriage can be a very beautiful thing when its w/ the right person.  I can hardly wait to marry my fiance.  We live together now and its hard but great.  You have to work at it like everything else in life to make it wonderful.  You get out what you put into basically.
545403
I think that people will be judgmental.  I think that all couples who get married should go to pre-marital counseling.  I think that it is going to be harder for you because you both still have so much growing up to do.  I am 23 and just got married in October... I changed so much between 18 and now.  It doesn't necessarily mean that you shouldn't get married but you do have to be willing to really work at your marriage if you want it to last.
360602
well,\nwhenever you feel the time is right. When ever you both sit down and feel like you are ready. You will both know when the time is right. Trust me in that i had the same predicament and when my now fiance and i knew the time was right we got engaged and then now are planning our marriage. Good luck
289426
My dear, if you are having second thoughts then DON'T GET MARRIED!! You don't have to call off the engagement but postpone the wedding. I was married the first time at 25, it lasted 5 years and ended painfully. I am now 32, remarried with a son. I am more mature, responsible, and ready for the committment. It is a life altering change and the "fun" you feel when getting engaged and having a big wedding, etc goes away once reality hits and bills start coming, kids, real life!! Marriage is a wonderful thing...when you are ready for it! Good Luck!!
1099160
SHOULD?????\nDo u think there is any should for proposing even if u are together for 2 yrs?!?!?!?!\nI have another idea if u are ready for proposing why u dont propose him?????\nAnd always know there is no should for marriage ...and if he is not ready for that never want him to do that .....people get married by a mistake and rouine their both lives ..\njust do it when both are ready for
523157
You can propose at anytime. That doesnt mean you have to get married a week after getting engaged. The marriage could be a year or two after, depending on what you both decide. Juz make sure getting married is what you want before getting married. Or you could simply buy a "promise" ring now and get an engagement ring later on. Good luck.
383802
It depends on how elaborate you want it. I was engaged Oct. 31,2004 and got married Dec. 10, 2004. It wasnt fancy, but it was what i wanted.
720876
Honestly, i think if a 4 year engagement is ok with her, then it would be acceptable.  It really only matters what you two think, and if she is ok with that, then it shouldn't be a big deal.  Personally I wouldn't want to be engaged that long, but its all personal preference for the couple involved.  However, I am just wondering, what is the big deal if you would get married before you are done with medical school?  Are you two living together now?  If you are then it shouldn't be that different than if you were to get married before you're done with school.  If you are living in separate residences or are living in separate towns, then I understand not wanting to marry her and deal with the stress of adapting to married life and having to deal with medical school. \n\nCongratulations on your decision to marry the woman you love and with medical school!  Those are two very exciting events!!!!!!
895274
Honey, I don't know how old you are, but I am 18 years old and engaged... my fiance is in the marines, and we are away from each other a lot! I know that it is extremely hard and he's all I think about also.  We plan on our wedding being in october of 2007, because I need to finish my first year of college so I can transfer to a college where we will be living until his enlistment is over (which will be in about 3 years.)and he's also going through additional training in the marine corps, so we both have to wait until next fall. I know that it is hard, but if you love him then you need to tell yourself to do good in school and not fall behind, so you can have a good future with him.  It's hard not to day dream, and it's fun to do it sometimes, just don't allow yourself to do it all of the time. Everything will work out and that year will be over before you know it, so just hang in there.