What do you do when your mother hates your boyfriend with a passion?
608639
Time is the only thing which will provide answers for you. Perhaps your mother does not deserve your trust, repect and honour, and if that is true, I am sorry. Your mom is supposed to be the one to provide guidance to you, but for some reason you aren't listening to her. If your bf does not have legal status in the USA, you don't want to endanger him, so moving in with him would make him vulnerable. I suggest you stay with your mom for the present time, and take the time to figure out how to make things work. Maybe you can help you bf get legal status without marrying him. It is very difficult to obtain status through marriage now. Good luck in your future......just give it a little more time.
223175
I have the same problem. My mother has been with a man for 7 months now who is intent on getting his mates to beat my younger brother up. Keep in mind this man is 41 and my brother is only 22. This man is also a druggy and a alcoholic who associates with nasty people. My mum does not see this man for what he is really like, a low life scum bag basically. What i suggest is you go below the belt and think of ways that would maybe scare him off. Involve your friends if you can, male or female. Dont do anything that would break the law of course, but devise a plan that wont back fire on you from your mother. Maybe prank phone calls to his mobile number prenteding to be his secret love affiar while he is with your mum in the nights ?? Belive me she will go nuts after constant calls night after night. It nearly worked for me. If you want to contact me for ideas i will greatly help as last year i near enough made it a no.1 priority to get rid of my mums b.friend as i hate him with a passion.
136423
Be very careful here.  You haven't said how old your son is but I'm assuming he is still probably a teenager.  This is an experience he needs to learn from but not that he needs his mother blowing up into a big deal.  The best thing you can do is just tell him that you feel really bad about how this girl reacted and that you know a lot of girls that would have been simply thrilled to have gotten flowers from their boyfriends.  If he wants to continue to pursue the relationship though that is his choice and all you should do is support him and let him know the actions that he takes that she puts down are things that other girls would be thrilled by and that it wasn't a mistake on his part.
536565
i feel sorry for you. i have a similar situation. my boyfriend's mother doesn't like me as well. we have been together for more than 4 years now.  what i suggest is you discuss this matter with your boy and try to win your future mother in law.  if you can't just fix your relationship with your man and just ignore her.  what's important is that you and your man are madly inlove with each other.
639434
You have a child now so the stakes have completly changed. If she is hateful and you have no parental control over your child, then you have ever right to want to leave. I understand you love your boyfriend, but sadly sometimes as a mother you have to choose between your and your bf personal happiness and the happiness/well being of your son. I think you should explain to your bf how you feel and tell him he can leave w/ you or you can go on your own. Then follow through w/ getting a place of your own, if he understands then he will come with you. You two can still go over everyday & check on her, but you need your own life as well!!! I hope everything works out for you and your family.
1137489
Yea, I was in that situation before. I finally just had to let go because I couldn't live my life without my mom being there for me. It sucked a lot because we had been together for almost 2.5 years. I just didn't know what else to do either. All I can really suggest is try to talk it out with her. Does she hate her personally or hate her because of the homosexual relationship? Explain to her that homosexual relationships are very accepted in society nowadays (at least way more than when she was growing up) and that you really love this girl but you love her too. Tell her a lot about how you love her and respect her but she should love and respect you too and that she should be supporting you. (A mini guilt trip isn't so bad). I tried to explain that to my mom, and she kinda "dealt with it" after awhile even though she didn't approve. My last bf was much bigger than me, with real long hair (all the way down his back) and he wore all black most of the time. She didn't even know him because she refused to talk to him, yet swore she could tell me what kind of person he was and how he was going to beat and rape me, and yada yada yada even though he was really the sweetest guy ever. Parents just don't understand sometimes and just want you to be like they were when they were kids. Try to come to an agreement. Good luck!!!\n\nPS: Don't do what everyone else is saying and "get a boyfriend," do what makes you happy. You can't live a lie.
417559
Your parents hating each other has nothing to do with how you feel about them. Although I know it's hard when they don't get along, you can't take sides. Remain neutral and never get involved in their disagreements. If they try to get you involved, say I am not saying anything, this is between you two, not me. I love you both, and I am not going to play these games.\nIf you say this to them it will get them to thinking about how they are acting. Hopefully it will also make them see how foolish their acting. I wish you the best of luck!!
268805
In a wierd way yes cuz your dating him, but at the same time no cuz you gotta respect his mother just like he does to yours. Find out y she yelled @ you.
165735
Start by not making an assumption about your boyfriends mom.  She may just simply not be the type to get close to anyone that isn't yet family.  She is also going to be naturally worried that you might eventually hurt her little boy.  Just relax and be yourself, over time you will prove to her that you are worthy of her boys heart.  In the mean time try to talk to her and find out her interests.  If you show an interest in her as a person and not just his mom it will help.  Sometimes it just takes a comment about how you hope that some day you can get to know her better to get her to open up.
646674
no your mother doesn't hate you! moms are just people and sometimes they make mistakes, but its not your place to tell her that she is wrong, she's the mom. often times if you want to be heard you have to make sure you are 'presenting your case' in a reasonable and respectful manner, even if what you are saying makes sense nobody is going to hear you if you are ranting and raving, i'm not saying that you are just letting you know. when you are both calm and reasonable tell her you'd like to talk to her, think about what you will say beforehand and stay calm.
251348
Try analyzing why you dont like him. Probably you could your mom the reasons why you dislike him. If your mom cares about you then she will make sure that he either changes his ways or just leaves for good. Confide with your mom.
296656
kill her with kindness... when you act upset and she causes turmoil in your family, she is getting what she wants.  As hard as it sounds. ignore her!!
581066
Loving someone is not a crime. You or your bf would have to be caught at something that is actually illegal and turned in. If that were to happen then some one could go to jail. You are old enough to do what you want to do. If your mother and sister don't like it, then to hell with them. Mom raised you, now that is done. Time for Mom to let go. You are going to have to put your foot down on this. Do what you want to do, so long as you don't break any REAL laws.
618894
ARE YOU AN ADULT... JUST BE UPFRONT WITH YOUR MOTHER, TELL HER ABOUT YOUR BOYFRIEND THEN TELL HER THAT YOU WOULD LIKE HER TO MEET HIM THAT HE IS A GOOD GUY.  HIDE HIM AND IT'S GOING TO MAKE IT LOOK AS IF YOU ARE ASHAMED OF HIM
919000
Moms always like to have their rules followed. When you break them, they feel that you're not listening to her and you don't care.\nStaying up till 11:30 is not that bad! So what you should do is have a serious talk with her.  Tell her how important it is for her to trust you, and that you really want to obey her. Make it up to her by spending some time together as mother and daughter.  She will soon regain trust on you if you stay on track the next time your boyfriend calls you!\nGood luck!
889943
I totally feel your pain\n\nI HATED my ex b/f mom (hate is probably not the way i felt about her)\n\nShe was this f u c k e n converted lady (no offense to people who are converted) she use to tell me "Why dont you let your hair down (i have curly bushy hair) & when his family was there they always use to ask me about hair & my appearance.\n\nShe was just a complete cow\nHim & his mother has a very weird relationship - he use to tell her everything that goes on in the relationship like sex, figths we had, my drinking (which was just socially), the way i act around my girlfriends.\n\nF u c k after a few motnhs I told the both of them to go to H E L L\n\nNow I'm happy!!!\n\ncheerio \nMERCAYDEES\nPs: Good riddance of bad rubbish (good that you dumped him)
327035
I know this is not easy on you, but there is really NOTHING you can do, except try to see the good thing in this man that has made your mother pick him for her new husband. Try not to argue or interfere...they will resent you for it. Keep your chin up and hope all will work itself out. Support your Mama and remember who YOU are and that you may find this guy is good to your Mom and O.K. after all.