Do most of you get along with your in-laws? If not, who don't you get alng with, and why? How do you handle it
602405
I can't stand my inlaws!! They are so fake! They act like they like me but, behide my back they talk about me. I have acually heard her talk about me! I can't believe they can be that way! I had tried so hard in the begining to get along with them but I stopped that a long time ago! I guess first impressions mean alot because that was when she brushed me off when I said hello. If my husban is not home and she calls I don't pick up the phone and she knows I'm home. I know that get's her upset. But I love it!! So my suggestion is focus on your fam and avoid her! But ofcoures say hello once in a blue moon. I know you not getting along with her came create unwanted problems in your relationship! Best of luck:)
343300
anything worth doing is worth fighting for... who cares if there is a mix... are you happy? Are your children happy? My family hates the man I married, and his family hates me... everyone seems to think that they know what is best... we love eachother, our son is fantastic, well rounded. We are a happy family and have been for the past 6 years... goes to show that sometimes the world is wrong... go figure
824025
I can understand your feelings.  My in-laws definitely favor their other grandchildren.  They don't even remember what size clothes to buy my oldest daughter.  They send gifts that their other grandchildren like and just figure my daughters like the same things.\n\nThey never come to our house for Christmas and when we go out to see them, they will not celebrate the holidays unless my husbands sister and her kids are present.  They don't make my children feel special...ever.\n\nSo I have finally decided that I can't take anymore.  I don't send pictures to them anymore, I don't call them with updates of the kids anymore and I have decided that we are not going there this year for Christmas.  I'm tired of being treated as second class family members.  Besides that, there isn't much I can do since its my husbands family and he's too indifferent to get upset by it.
375490
I had a similar situation with a brother-in-law.  To save the family embarressment I told my husband and since then he never leaves me in the room alone with him.  Ignore the advances or if they get too bad, just say no.
539178
I do have a good relationship with my husbands sister. At times we get on each others nerves but I think that's mostly because we do talk ALOT and see each other ALOT! Maybe too much at times. She's younger than I am and never had a sister. I've never had a sister so it's kinda nice at times. Sometimes she's alittle overwhelming but over all she's a sweet girl. \n\nMy brothers wife, We don't talk much at all. It's not that we don't get along.. it's mostly that we don't have much in common. She can be very sweet but she can also be very judgemental. She annoys me when she becomes judgemental about my family or something like that but over all when we see each other we're nice to each other.  I wouldn't say we're close at all though.
1083760
The root to your problem lack of conversation,....If there anything not right goin on , the best way to solve it is to talk openly to each other. Say your husband is up set over something that happen between his in-laws & him sometime ago, n he's not happy being with them....but for me at least he's willing to join you guy for a week. For me that's fair....Talk to your husband n make him feel good for his sacrifice....Then your job is to tell your family that your hubby has something to do........Time will heel things.....But never ever compare anybody with the past or with another person....Things can go very bad.
1012894
Possibly she is trying to help and also wants to be a part of the family.  The best way to deal with it is respect.  Show her respect at all times and remember that the person you married was raised by this woman so she cannot be all bad.  You may also want to consider that it may be your attitude that is the problem.  Try to approach her not as your mother in law but as you would any other person you deal with.
543074
Mostly, your future mother-in-law will just need someone who will listen.  Just let her express her feelings as she has to grieve over love and marriage lost.\n\nFor those who are telling him to get his future \nmother-in-law in line, that isn't what the question was.  Don't you read?  Also, not all mother-in-laws are interfering and, contrary to stereotyping, many men/women love their mother-in-laws.  Makes me wonder how the young can be so jaded that they assume all mother-in-laws fit the phony stereotype.  Grow up!
267799
I have had 2 mothers in law.  I was equally nice to both at the beginning.  I wanted to make a good impression.  The 1st one HATED me.  But then her son was a spoiled cry baby and she never wanted to give him up.  He's 40 and still lives at home.  The 2nd one LOVES me.  Her son is a MAN.  He treats me well and we have a lovely family.  I think it depends on several things.  Whether the mother has any intention of ever giving up the son.  Whether the son has enough spine to stand up for his wife.  The wife needs to accept "helpful advise" in a kindly way.  Say "Thank you, I'll consider that.  I appreciate your help".  Treat your mother in law how you would wish to be treated.  I think it comes down to what type of person she is.  I thank God for my new mother in law.
445194
No one should hate it is corrosive to your own health. Mothers in law tend to respond to their children as though they never grew up. This feeds over into the spouse and creates resentment. If you can find a way to see past this it will eventually get better for you.
708779
it's too bad they live right down the street from you. they are hard to avoid.  if she is so obnoxious, i'm sure your fiancee knows this.  so, if he is willing to keep the family relationship going, and you want to keep your relationship with your fiancee going, i think you are going to have to just grin and bear it until you can move away from where they live.  i would tell him that you know it's his brother and sister in law, but you have a difficult time around them.  your personalities just don't seem to mesh and you don't mind seeing them occasionally, but you cannot put up with on a constant basis. let him realize you are not doing this to cause friction in the family but it's just too uncomfortable for you and you would prefer not to get so involved with them. then, it's up to him to decide - you or them.  good luck.
991103
ohhhhhhhhh. I hate know-it-all-inlaws. I have a sister in law like that and a mother in law that butts in and makes me feel stupid.\nThe only thing you can do is smile and endure. Pretend like you dont hear them or something.
1075473
My husband has the same problem with one of my friends and he just doesn't interact with her.  I will go out with my friend and he doesn't come along.  If its a friend of the family and you see her, then try to avoid her and if you do have to be close and speak to her, you can still be cordial and kind without having to carry on a lengthy conversation or be rude in what you say.  \n\nTell your wife that you won't like everyone that you come in contact with.  EVER!  Personalities clash, views of specific ideas or other things are very opposite.  Just because she is a friend it doesn't mean that you have to be.  Don't you have a friend that she doesn't like?  Its fine and she is wrong to make you be her friend.
671124
My hubby and I were having mega problems and i was on the verge of leaving... when i finally told him i was leaving and taking our 7 month old daughter, he straightened up right away. We talk about what really bothers us and we fix it... we compromise...every marriage has problems and if people say they dont they are lying! Sit down and have a conversation...nto an arguement ... first decide who goes first... tell what you hate and move on.... then dont throw it up in each others faces after this...just keep it in the back of your mind. For example... my hubby hated when i would gripe about little things like him leaving a dish out.. and i hated when he wouldn't seperate his laundry into the right bin. So we both corrected the problem and we moved on...(this is not why i was leaving.. he had a drinking problem)
333866
My heart goes out to you. I unfortunately have learned to live with the same type situation. Your daughter in law is probably suffering from low self esteem among other things and is probably really making things hard for your son as well. I have discovered that the sweet girl that I thought would be prefect for my son is the terror I hoped he would never have to deal with.  My daughter in law not only tries to manipulate my sons family life, but his work and social life as well. More than likely your son is going through the same thing. I dont recommend apologizing for things you didnt do though. She will try to manipulate you and your son forever, all we do is bite our tongues and let our son know that we love him, no matter what. We just pray one day he will take the upper hand and let her know that it is not OK to treat his family like she does.  (She also withholds our 3yr old granddaughter from us). Good luck to you, I know how painful this situation is.
985933
I used to, then I got a divorce.  It's all good now.  Sorry if that's not an option.  Seriously, just be as gracious as you can, and enjoy the people you do like.  Do the in-law thing first(Christmas Eve?), so you have fun with those you love on Christmas Day and have something to look forward to.  Good luck sweetie.
690258
I am sorry to hear that...you don't need to change for people and besides if they are like that anyway then they are still going to bi*ch about you anyway no matter what. You need to stop doing so much for your inlaws if that is the gratitude you get. I would let them know that you know they were talking behind your back without getting out of control just say I would appreciate it if you have an issue to confront me with it. It's not nice to talk behind people's back because it doesn't leave them with an opportunity to respond...which is actually the answer to one of your q. in this. They don't want you to get mad at them. It's not always the way but with certain people like this it's 'the more you do, the less you're appreciated'. Nice to know there are thoughtful people around like you but some others take it for granted. Don't worry too much about what your colleagues say about you just do your job and don't get involved with them too much. You don't want to be like them just think you are a better person for not being so immature and feeling it's necessary to talk behind their back. Take care :)