do u know any your moma jokes?
486961
No but your moma whispered some good ones in my ear last night while we were doing it last night.
404142
i think this one is funny:\nA little Mexican boy goes into the kitchen where his mom is\n baking. He puts his hand in the flour and wipes it all over\n his face. "Mom, look, I'm a white boy."\n\n His mom slaps him in the face and says "Go show your\n father".\n\n He goes to his dad in the living room and says "Look dad,\n I'm a white boy."\n\n His dad slaps him hard in the face and says "Go show your\n grandmother."\n\n The boy goes in his grandmothers room and says "Mira,\n abuelita, I'm a white boy " His grandmother slaps him in\n the face and sends him back to his mother.\n\n His mother says "See. Did you learn anything from that?"\n\n To which the boy replies, "Sure did. I have only been white\n for five minutes and I already hate you Mexicans."
431944
im looking for someone like your moma, to get me a cute funny kid like urself
910889
OMG this joke is one of my favorites!!! Got any more?
221179
Yo mama so stupid that she puts lipstick on her head just to make-up her mind.\n\nYo mama so stupid she hears it's chilly outside so she gets a bowl.\n\nYo mama so stupid that she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order!\n\nYo mama so stupid she bought a solar-powered flashlight!\n\nYo mama so stupid she thinks a quarterback is a refund!\n\nYo mama so stupid when she read on her job application to not write below the dotted line she put "O.K."\n\nYo mama so stupid she thinks Fleetwood Mac is a new hamburger at McDonalds!\n\nYo mama so stupid when the computer said "press any key to continue" she couldn't find the any key. \n \nYo mama so stupid she got a doughnut and returned it cause it had a hole in it.
18614
Yo mama's so fat, I had to take a train and two busses just to get on her good side. \nYo mama's so fat, when she hauls ass, she has to make two trips. \nYo mama's so fat, when she hauls ass, she has friends come help. \nYo mama's so fat, I've got to tell two snaps just to cover her fat ass. \nYo mama's so fat, she's 36-24-36... but that's her forearm, neck, and thigh! \nYo mama's so fat, she's 36-24-36... but that's in feet. \nYo mama's so fat, they had to grease a door frame and hold a Twinkie on the other side to get her through. \nYo mama's so fat, she can lay down and stand up and her height doesn't change. \nYo mama's so fat, when she dances, she makes the band skip. \nYo mama's so fat, when she walks across the living room, the radio skips. \nYo mama's so fat, when she played hide-n-go-seek, she hid behind a water tower. \nYo mama's so fat, the horse on her Polo shirt is real. \nYo mama's so fat, the horse on her Jordache jeans is real. \nYo mama's so fat, she's not kidding when she says "I'm so hungry I could eat a horse!" \nYo mama's so fat, on Halloween she says "Trick or meatloaf!" \nYo mama's so fat, on Halloween she trick or treats two houses at a time. \nYo mama's so fat, when she opens the refrigerator, it says "I give up!" \nYo mama's so big, she uses the interstate for a Slip `n Slide. \nYo mama's so big, she reached in her pocket and handed me a CD, a Compact Dishwasher. \nYo mama's so big, when you climb on top of her your ears pop. \nYo mama's so big, she thought Barnum & Bailey were clothing designers. \nYo mama's so big, when she bent down to tie her shoes, her face got burnt from re-entry. \nYo mama's so big, she whistles bass. \nYo mama's so big, she uses bowling balls for earrings. \nYo mama's so big, that they had to change "One size fit's all" to "One size fits most" \nYo mama's so big, when she went to the airport and said she wanted to fly they stamped Goodyear on her and sent her out to the runway. \nYo mama's so big, when I fingered her I lost a watch and two rings! \nYo mama's so big, when she goes in the water at the beach she changes the tide. \nYo mama's so big, when she stands up the sun goes out. Yo mama's got a 4 dollar weave and don't know when to leave. \nYo mama's got 1 leg longer than other and they call her call her hip hop. \nYo mama's got 1 toe & 1 knee and they call her Tony. \nYo mama's got 3 toes and 3 knees and they call her Toni Tone Tony. \nYo mama's got a wait problem, she can't wait to eat. \nYo mama's got an eating disorder, she be eating dis order, dat order, she be eating all the damn orders! \nYo mama only got one finger and runs around stealing key rings. \nYo mama's got Play-Doh teeth. \nYo mama's got sideburns on her chest. \nYo mama's got a bald head with a part and sideburns. \nYo mama's got a metal afro with rusty sideburns. \nYo mama's got an afro with a turn signal. \nYo mama's got 3 tongues and talks like this, like this, like this. \nYo mama's got a wheelchair with 5-Star rims and a clutch. \nYo mama's got a peanut butter wig with jelly sideburns. \nYo mama's got a leather wig with suede sideburns. \nYo mama's got an eagle's nest wig.
212431
your mama is so ugly she has to sneak up on a glass of water just to get a drink\n\nyour mama is so ugly her own reflection wont look at her\n\nyour mama is so fat her last picture was an arial photograph
129005
Yo' mama like a Big Mac -- full of fat and only worth a buck!\n\nYo Mama is like a bus, she's big she doesn't smell very good and it's only a dollar to ride.\n\nYo mama's so dumb, she stuck the phone up her ass and thought she was makin' a booty call.\n\nYo Mama is so fat, when she told me her weight I thought it was her phone number.
415497
Yo Mama Jokes [collected by Lamda]\n-----------------------------------------\n\n\nYo mama is so ugly:\n\n\nYo mama so ugly when she joined an ugly contest, they said "Sorry, no professionals."\n\nYo mama so ugly she looks out the window and got arrested for mooning.\n\nYo mama so ugly just after she was born, her mother said "What a treasure!" and her father said "Yes, let's go bury it."\n\nYo mama so ugly they push her face into dough to make gorilla cookies.\n\nYo mama so ugly they filmed "Gorillas in the Mist" in her shower\n\nYo mama so ugly they didn't give her a costume when she tried out for Star Wars.\n\nYo mama so ugly instead of putting the bungee cord around her ankle, they put it around her neck\n\nYo mama so ugly she gets 364 extra days to dress up for Halloween.\n\nYo mama so ugly when she walks into a bank, they turn off the surveillence cameras\n\nYo mama so ugly her mom had to be drunk to breast feed her\n\nYo mama so ugly her mom had to tie a steak around her neck to get the dogs to play with her.\n\nYo mama so ugly when she walks down the street in September, people say "Wow, is it Halloween already?"\n\nYo mama so ugly the government moved Halloween to her birthday.\n\nYo mama so ugly that if ugly were bricks she'd have her own projects.\n\nYo mama so ugly they pay her to put her clothes on in strip joints.\n\nYo mama so ugly she made an onion cry.\n\nYo mama so ugly they filmed "Gorillas in the Mist" in her shower!\n\nYo mama so ugly when they took her to the beautician it took 12 hours. . .for a quote!\n\nYo mama so ugly they put her in dough and made monster cookies!\n\nYo mama so ugly she tried to take a bath the water jumped out!\n\nYo mama so ugly she looks out the window and gets arrested!\n\nYo mama so ugly even Rice Krispies won't talk to her!\n\nYo mama so ugly Ted Dansen wouldn't date her!\n\nYo mama so ugly for Halloween she trick or treats on the phone!\n\nYo mama so ugly she turned Medusa to stone!\n\nYo mama so ugly The NHL banned her for life\n\nYo mama so ugly she gets 364 extra days to dress up for Halloween!\n\nYo mama so ugly the government moved Halloween to her birthday!\n\nYo mama so ugly if ugly were bricks she'd have her own projects!\n\nYo mama so ugly they pay her to put her clothes on in strip joints\n\nYo mama so ugly she made an onion cry!\n\nYo mama so ugly people go as her for Halloween.\n\nYo mama so ugly that when she sits in the sand on the beach, cats try to bury her.\n\nYo mama so ugly she scares the roaches away.\n\nYo mama so ugly we have to tie a steak around your neck so the dog will play with her!\n\nYo mama so ugly I heard that your dad first met her at the pound.\n\nYo mama so ugly that if ugly were bricks she'd have her own projects.\n\nYo mama so ugly that your father takes her to work with him so that he doesn't have to kiss her goodbye.\n\n\n---x---\n\n\nYo mama is so stupid:\n\n\nYo mama so stupid it took her 2 hours to watch 60 minutes\n\nYo mama so stupid when she saw the NC-17 (under 17 not admitted) sign, she went home and got 16 friends\n\nYo mama so stupid when your dad said it was chilly outside, she ran outside with a spoon\n\nYo mama so stupid she told everyone that she was "illegitiment" because she couldn't read\n\nYo mama so stupid that she puts lipstick on her head just to make-up her mind\n\nYo mama so stupid she hears it's chilly outside so she gets a bowl\n\nYo mama so stupid you have to dig for her IQ!\n\nYo mama so stupid she got locked in a grocery store and starved!\n\nYo mama so stupid it took her 2 hours to watch 60 Minutes!\n\nYo mama so stupid that she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order!\n\nYo mama so stupid she could trip over a cordless phone!\n\nYo mama so stupid she sold her car for gasoline money!\n\nYo mama so stupid she bought a solar-powered flashlight!\n\nYo mama so stupid she thinks a quarterback is a refun
1005351
Please visit the following sites :\nhttp://www.ahajokes.com/yo_mama_jokes.html \nhttp://members.tripod.com/donaldchase/jokes/yomamma.html\nhttp://www.humorsphere.com/yo_mama/\nhttp://www.amazinghumor.com/jokes/yomamajokes/\nhttp://www.mommajoke.com/\nhttp://www.aardvarkarchie.com/jokes/yomamma/index.html\n...You'll find all you want !
446133
Here you go baby, can I have my points now??? \n\nYo momma so stupid, she studied for a drug test! \n\nYo momma so stupid, she thought, "Wu Tang" was an African orange drink! \n\nYo momma so stupid she hears it's chilly outside so she gets a bowl. \n\nYo momma so stupid she got locked in a grocery store and starved! \n\nYo momma so stupid that she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order! \n\nYo momma so stupid she could trip over a cordless phone! \n\nYo momma so stupid she sold her car for gasoline money! \n\nYo momma so stupid she bought a solar-powered flashlight! \n\nYo momma so stupid she thinks a quarterback is a refund! \n\nYo momma so stupid she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept. \n\nYo momma so stupid when she read on her job application to not write below the dotted line she put, "O.K." \n\nYo momma so stupid she stole free bread. \n\nYo momma so stupid she makes Beavis and Butt-Head look like Nobel Prize winners. \n\nYo momma so stupid she sits on the TV, and watches the couch! \n\nYo momma so stupid she bought a videocamera to record cable tv shows at home. \n\nYo momma so stupid she took an umbrella to see Purple Rain. \n\nYo momma so stupid it took her 2 hours to watch 60 minutes. \n\nYo momma so stupid when she saw the NC-17 (under 17 not admitted) sign, she went home and got 16 friends. \n\nYo momma so stupid she told everyone that she was, "Illegitiment" because she couldn't read. \n\nYo momma so stupid that she puts lipstick on her head just to make-up her mind. \n\nYo momma so stupid you have to dig for her IQ! \n\nYo momma so stupid she took a cup to see Juice. \n\nYo momma so stupid she asked you, "What is the number for 911?" \n\nYo momma so stupid she got stabbed in a shoot out. \n\nYo momma so stupid she took a spoon to the superbowl. \n\nYo momma so stupid she called Dan Quayle for a spell check. \n\nYo momma so stupid she stepped on a crack and broke her own back. \n\nYo momma so stupid she thought she needed a token to get on Soul Train. \n\nYo momma so stupid when asked on an application, "Sex?" she marked, "M, F and sometimes Wednesday too." \n\nYo momma so stupid she took the Pepsi challenge and chose Jif. \n\nYo momma so stupid when you stand next to her you hear the ocean! \n\nYo momma so stupid she thinks Fleetwood Mac is a new hamburger at McDonalds! \n\nYo momma so stupid that she thought Boyz II Men was a day care center. \n\nYo momma so stupid when she went to take the 44 bus, she took the 22 twice instead. \n\nYo momma so stupid she jumped out the window and went up. \n\nYo momma so stupid she thought a quarterback was an income tax refund. \n\nYo momma so stupid she took a umbrella to see Purple Rain. \n\nYo momma so stupid that under, "Education," on her job application, she put, "Hooked on Phonics." \n\nYo momma so stupid she put out the cigarette butt that was heating your house. \n\nYo momma so stupid she watches, "The Three Stooges" and takes notes. \n\nYo momma so stupid was born on Independence Day and can't remember her birthday. \n\nYo momma so stupid she thought gangrene was another golf course. \n\nYo momma so stupid that she went to a Clippers game to get a hair cut. \n\nYo momma so stupid, she couldn't read an audio book. \n\nYo momma so stupid it take her a month to get rid of the 7 day itch. \n\nYo momma so stupid she stands up on an empty bus. \n\nYo momma so stupid it take her a week to get rid of a 24 hourr virus. \n\nYo momma so stupid it take her a day to cook a 3 minute egg. \n\nYo momma so stupid she has to ask for help to use hamburger helper . \n\nYo momma so stupid she went to Disney World and saw a sign that said "Disney World - Left" so she went home. \n\nYo momma so stupid she asked me what kind of jeans I had on and I said, "Guess" so she said, "Levi's."
1031667
Is it okay if it isn't yo mama jokes?Becuase I only have one: Yo Mama so poor when she was kicking a can and I asked her, "What 'ja doin'," she answered, "moving"\n\nA man goes to the doctor with a long history of migraine headaches. When the doctor does his history and physical, he discovers that his poor patient has had practically every therapy known to man for his migraines and STILL no improvement. \n\n"Listen," says the Doc, "I have migraines too, and the advice I'm going to give you isn't really anything I learned in medical school, but it's advice that I've gotten from my own experience. When I have a migraine, I go home, get in a nice hot bathtub, and soak for a while. Then I have my wife sponge me off with the hottest water I can stand, especially around the forehead. This helps a little. Then I get out of the tub, take her into the bedroom, and even if my head is killing me, I force myself to have sex with her. Almost always, the headache is immediately gone. Now, give it a try, and come back and see me in six weeks." \n\nSix weeks later, the patient returns with a big grin. \n\n"Doc! I took your advice and it works! It REALLY WORKS! I've had migraines for 17 years and this is the FIRST time anyone has ever helped me!" \n\n"Well," says the physician, "I'm glad I could help." \n\n"By the way, Doc," the patient adds, "you have a REALLY nice house." \n\nWEIRD FACT OF THE DAY: The largest apple pie ever baked was forty by twenty three feet. \n\nON THIS DAY IN HISTORY: In 1919 1st issue of NY Daily News published. \n\nBORN ON THIS DAY: In 1956 - Chris Isaak (actor: Little Buddha, Silence of the Lambs, Married to the Mob, Twin Peaks; singer, songwriter: Wicked Game, Blue Hotel, LP: Silvertone). \n============================================================================================================================\n\n\n\n So there was an american, a black guy and a mexican that found a genie who granted them each a wish. The black guy asked that he and all of his brothers in America be taken back to their homeland of Africa, so the genie did it. The mexican asked that all of his people in America be brought back to their homes in Mexico, so the genie did that as well. Then the american said: "So you mean to tell me that all of the blacks and mexicans are gone?" and the genie replied "Yeah"; so the american said "Well then i'll have a coke." \n\n ============================================================================================================================\n\nA young man goes into a pharmacy and says to the\npharmacist, "Hello, could you give me condom.\nI'm going\nto my girlfriend's place for dinner and I think\nI may be in\nwith a chance!"\n\nThe pharmacist gives him the condom and the\nyoung man leaves. He soon returns and says, "Give me\nanother condom because my girlfriend's sister is very\ncute too. She always crosses her legs in a\nprovocative manner when she sees me and I think I might\nstrike it lucky there too."\n\nThe pharmacist gives him a second condom and as\nthe boy is leaving he turns back and says,"Go on,\ngive me one more condom because my girlfriend's mum is\nstill pretty cute and when she sees me she always\nmakes eyes, and since she invited me for dinner, think\nshe is expecting me to make a move!\n\nDuring dinner, the young man is sitting with his\ngirlfriend on his left, the sister on his right\nand the mum facing him.\n\nWhen the dad gets there, the boy lowers his head\nand starts praying, "Dear Lord, bless this dinner\nand thank you for all you give us."\n\nA minute later the boy is still praying; "Thank\nyou Lord for your kindness."\n\nTen minutes go by and the boy is still praying,\nkeeping his head down.\n\nThe others look at each other surprised and his\ngirlf
426975
Some "Yo mamma" jokes...\n\n1) Yo mamma so dumb that if dumbness were bricks, she'd be the Great Wall of China.\n2) Yo mamma so poor that when she caught you skateboarding, she said, "Get off the family car."\n3) Yo mamma so old that she met Burger King when he was still a prince.\n4) Yo mamma so dumb that she inserted a quarter into a parking meter and waited for her gumball.\n5) Yo mamma so fat that when she walked in front of the TV, you missed your 24 hour movie.\n6) Yo mamma so fat that when she walked into the big fancy elevator with the 2,500 pounds limit on the 25th floor, the man inside wasn't scared when he first went to the Tower of Terror elevator in Disneyland.\n7) Yo mamma so old that when you told her to act her age, she almost died.\n8) Yo mamma so dumb that when she went sky diving, she put on her Barbie backpack instead of the parachute.\n9) Yo mamma so old that when she met a man her age, she found out that it was George Washington.\n10) Yo mamma so ugly that when it was May, people said, "Ooh. Really scary and ugly mask, but save it for Halloween."
389594
Yo mama so ugly when she joined an ugly contest, they said "Sorry, no professionals."\n\nYo mama so ugly she looks out the window and got arrested for mooning.\n\nYo mama so fat when she wears a yellow raincoat, people said "Taxi!"\n\nYo mama so hairy Bigfoot is taking her picture!
513456
just stic to YA/jokes and riddles....
681123
Hey baby u r fine ill give u some jokes:\nYo mama so nasty she made speed stick slow down.\n\nYo mama so nasty she brings crabs to the beach.\n\nYo mama so nasty she made right guard turn left.\n\nYo mama so nasty the fishery be paying her to leave\n\nYo mama so nasty she has to creep up on bathwater.\n\nYo mama so nasty that pours salt water down her pants to keep her crabs fresh.\n\nYo mama so nasty I called her to say hello, and she ended up giving me an ear infection.\nYo mama so fat when her beeper goes off, people thought she was backing up\n\nYo mama so fat her nickname is "Lardo"\n\nYo mama so fat she eats Wheat Thicks.\n\nYo mama so fat were in her right now\n\nYo mama so fat people jog around her for exercise\n\nYo mama so fat she went to the movies and sat next to everyone\n\nYo mama so fat she has been declared a natural habitat for Condors\n\nYo mamma so fat you haveta roll over twice to get off her...\n\nYo mama so fat she was floating in the ocean and spain claimed her for then new world\n\nYo mama so fat she lay on the beach and people run around yelling Free Willy\n\nYo mama so fat when you get on top of her your ears pop!\n\nYo mama so fat when she has wants someone to shake her hand, she has to give directions!\n\nYo mama so fat she goes to a resturant, looks at the menu and says "okay!"\n\nYo mama so fat when she wears a yellow raincoat, people said "Taxi!"\n\nYo mama so fat she had to go to Sea World to get baptized\n\nYo mama so fat she got to iron her pants on the driveway\n\nYo mama so fat she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller\n\nYo mama so fat she got to pull down her pants to get into her pockets\n\nYo mama so fat when she tripped over on 4th Ave, she landed on 12th\n\nYo mama so fat when she bungee jumps, she brings down the bridge too\n\nYo mama so fat the highway patrol made her wear "Caution! Wide Turn"\n\nYo mama so fat when she sits around the house, she SITS AROUND THE HOUSE!\n\nYo mama so fat when she steps on a scale, it read "one at a time, please"\n\nYo mama so fat when she sits on my face I can't hear the stereo.\n\nYo mama so fat she fell in love and broke it.\n\nYo mama so fat when she gets on the scale it says to be continued.\n\nYo mama so fat when she gets on the scale it says we don't do livestock.\n\nYo mama so fat her neck looks like a pair of hot dogs!\n\nYo mama so fat she's got her own area code!\n\nYo mama so fat she looks like she's smuggling a Volkswagon!\n\nYo mama so fat God couldn't light Earth until she moved!\n\nYo mama so fat NASA has to orbit a satellite around her!\n\nYo mama so fat whenever she goes to the beach the tide comes in!\n\nYo mama so fat when she plays hopscotch, she goes New York, L.A., Chicago...\n\nYo mama so fat she's got Amtrak written on her leg.\n\nYo mama so fat even Bill Gates couldn't pay for her liposuction!\n\nYo mama so fat her legs is like spoiled milk - white & chunky!\n\nYo mama so fat I had to take a train and two buses just to get on the her good side!\n\nYo mama so fat she wakes up in sections!\n\nYo mama so fat when she goes to an amusement park, people try to ride HER!\n\nYo mama so fat she sat on a quarter and a booger shot out of george washington's nose.\n\nYo mama so fat she rolled over 4 quarters and it made a dollar!\n\nYo mama so fat when she lies on the beach no one else gets sun!\n\nYo mama so fat when she bunje jumps she goes straight to hell!\n\nYo mama so fat when she jumps up in the air she gets stuck!!!\n\nYo mama so fat she's got more Chins than a Hong Kong phone book!\n\nYo mama so fat that her senior pictures had to be arial views!\n\nYo mama so fat she's on both sides of the family!\n\nYo mama so fat everytime she walks in high heels, she strikes oil!\n\nYo mama so fat she fell and made the Grand Canyon!\n\nYo mama so fat she sat on the beach and Greenpeace threw her in!\n\nYo mama so fat even her clothes have stretch marks
478348
I actually put a whole bunch on my yahoo website a few years ago.  It's a combination of ones I made up, and the best ones I've heard.\n\nhttp://www.geocities.com/john_ross_nyc/Momma.html\n\nSome of my favorites:\nYo Momma's SO Fat...\n...if she got her shoes shined, she'd have to take his\nword for it.\n...all the restaurants in town have signs that say\n"Maximum Occupancy: 240 Patrons OR Yo Mama".\n...when she was diagnosed with the flesh eating disease\nthe doctor gave her 13 years to live.\n\nThere's many, many, more there.  \n\nHope this helps!\n--J.