What was the funniest thing that every happened to you while on a date?
477421
My boyfriend and I were getting ready to have sex. I turned off the light and went to the bathroom to put in my diaphragm. When I got back to the room, I could hear him moaning "oh baby, you feel so good". It couldn't have been me because I was still standing by the door. I turned on the light.\n\nHe was having sexual relations with my dog! When he saw what he was screwing, he jumped up and apologized.\n\nHe was no longer my boyfriend after that.
105433
it lasted two seconds (i realize this now because i can compare it to other kisses i've enjoyed) but i literally lost ALL sense of time and space. she was (and still is) my dream date; after we pulled away the first words i said were, "that did not just happen." because it was TRULY UNBELIEVABLE. It happened when, where, and with who I wanted. SPECTACTULAR! We're still dating, and that even was a while ago.\n\nYou'll never forget it, especially if the conditions are JUST RIGHT!\n\nwhee! now i'm feeling all romantic!\nhappy valentine's!
500833
my worst date ever was a double date with my brother and now sis-in-law and this guy who was their friend. well it started out bad enough cause the guy was just GROSS. so we went to McDonalds then bowling which i hate. so him and my brother ended up bowling all night and me and my sis-in-law alternated between the bar shooting pool and the game room playing pinball and getting drunk. lol along the way she decides to tell me that the guy is in love with her and they figured that by having him go out with other girls he'd get over her cause she wanted to be with my brother. LOSER!!!! anyway it was the worst evening of my life and i was just glad i was drunk through it all cause at least i could laugh at how freakin stupid he was. lol
191621
If what you were laughing at was not intended to be funny, then I would assume you were either a retard, or not listening to what I was saying. Although, I believe it may be rather annoying to date a hiena.
1058335
After recently divorcing from a 16 yr marriage, I went on my first date. It was terrible. He was the worst kisser ever. Now granted, I hadn't kissed another man in over 16 years but I honestly felt like my face was being pecked to death by a chicken! LOL\nI couldn't wait for that date to be OVER!!!!
779119
My husband was waiting for me at home . When I arrived he was in the kitchen cooking , he was wearing  a guys thong that looked like an\nelephant , I laughed until I cried !
550362
I took a girl to this little hole-in-the wall restaurant that was really dark and romantic.  Then we went to this park that had this really tall stone wall that went all the way around it.  We climbed up on it and walked it for a huge chunk of the night.  It was a cheap date but one of the best I remember\n\n   Another one was (and I was broke then too)  I fixed a really nice meal and went to the video store and got a bunch of old black and white movies.  We ate then turned the lights of and watched Casablanca and talked through it all.  She thought it was great because all her first dates involved a restaurant and a movie theater.  It was something that hadn't happened to her before
525560
I was 16 and meeting my girl's large family for the first time. We were standing around jabbering when I decided to tell a joke (I'm an OK joke teller). It went off really well. My girl, by way of congratulating me, slapped me on the back, which prompted the second loudest fart in western history. (As I write this I am turning just as red as that day.)
811343
The only one that really comes to mind is once I took a girl out to a pumpkin patch a week before Halloween.  We both bought pumpkins, then went to dinner and watched Zoolander, then back to my house to cut the pumpkins...which we never finished until 3 days later.  Never had so much fun on a date before or since.
334677
Ok, i was going out with this guy who was a supervisor at my work (not over me though) and he was SOOO hot, like my dream guy. he was buff and black and dressed so nice and was a couple years older than me and was totally hot. i was so excited when he asked me out. so we were going to go to a movie, but the earlier show was sold out so we went back to his appartment where all of his equally hot roomates were all hanging out. we were chillin around then his roomates decided to go get beer. (fyi i am a TOTAL lightweight and i only have to have like 4 beers before i am really really drunk) and when they got back i chugged a few beers and was gettin kinda buzzed and i chugged a couple more and before i could stop  myself i turned around and threw up all over his model hot roomate. in front of my date, his hot friends, and everybody. the worst part was that i was too drunk to go home cause my family would freak out and i couldnt drive anyway so i had to stay there for like another 6 hours until my buzz wore off enough for me to drag myself into my room and go to sleep. the worst part was that he asked me out again and insisted that it wasnt that big of a deal and that it happened to everybody sometime. like an idiot i went out with him again and we stopped by his appartment and his roomates took one look at me and were like "hey its pukie!!! dude that was so gross! i hope your sober or i dont want you to come near me!" i was totally humiliated.
360620
BLAH....I was set up on a blind date by one of my friends. He took me to a convenience store and bought me a hot dog and a 2 liter of coke then took me back to his house to watch a movie. There were so many piles of dog crap and the stench was horrible. I stayed about 15 minutes and left. The next day while I was out he left a baseball cap and cheap diamond earrings for me on my porch. He called later that night to see if I got the stuff, I told him yes but I couldn't accept them..he told me he loved me. I returned the things to him and never saw him again. Fukn weirdo!
87464
well i like when a guy just is plain and real about asking and i love when a guy takes me somewhere silly for the first date its a great icebreaker (try something like chukie cheese) and if you can win the girl a prize " to remember you by"
682569
Oh my goodness....I have one.\n\nIt was right after I got out of a very long, very terrible relationship, yet it was before I met my husband.  I was sitting at my house with my roommate and one of those commercials came on TV for the telephone dating service.  TeleMates or something like that.  Well, I had been drinking just a bit so I decided to call it for fun.\n\nWell, I instantly was on the line with this guy who was a little older than me, who sounded really nice.  He described himself as being extremely nice looking with gorgeous blue eyes, etc. etc.  I was like "YES!!! Let's meet up for a date."\n\nSo a couple of days later, this guy was coming to pick me up.  I got ready for HOURS! (I hadn't been single in years, so I was so nervous about this "blind date")  My roommate was there, and a few of our friends were there to meet this guy.\n\nWell, we hear a car pulling into the driveway and my roommate runs to the window and is peeking out.  She turns around and starts laughing and she's like "He totally lied to you.  You are not going to like this."  I kept smiling, thinking that she was joking.  No, as it turns out, she was just being nice.\n\nThis guy looked NOTHING like he had described.  He had on huge thick glasses, he was like 4 inches shorter than me and about 30 pounds more than what he described.  He also had told me he was a great dresser, and lets just say this was a lie too!  The only thing he had in common with what he told me was that he had blue eyes!  That was it!\nSo this guy comes in and he's holding a rose, and I instantly feel like a b!tch for being so judgemental.  I thought, maybe he is a really nice guy, so I decided not to fake sickness as I had originally planned and take a chance on him. If anything, he could just be a friend that I hung out with.\nSo we go on our date.  He asks me where I want to go eat.  I tell him I'm not picky, I'm content with McDonalds double cheeseburgers.  So he decides to take me to a nice Mexican restaurant downtown.  We go in, and we're sitting there talking and sure enough, he is a nice guy.  So then he offers to buy me a drink.  I tell him I like margaritas.  He orders me the biggest margarita they have, one that costs over 10 bucks and comes in a cup that looks like a bowl!  So I drink the margarita.  He buys another one.  I drink it.  We finish eating and then we leave. \nSo he stops at a store, asks me do I smoke, I say yes.  He goes in, buys me several packs of cigarettes and a lighter.  And a case of beer.  I'm like WTF, but okay.....\nSo he gets a call on his cell phone and asks would I like to stop by his house, that his brother is having a "party" there.  I say sure, and figure if this is a trick, I have my pepper spray in my purse!\nSo we go to his house and it is only his brother there!  There is no party.  Apparently, I am the party.  So we sit around and drink some beers, have some conversation.  Then my cell phone rings and it is my former best friend (who is a guy) I talk only for a minute before telling him maybe we can hang out later, then hang up.  The guy I'm on a date with gives me this weird look and he's like "Was that a guy?" As I explain to him that it was my best friend, who I dated when I was 15, but since then, he's engaged and has two kids, he just looks pissed.  He grabs my purse up from bside me, shoves it into my hands and tells me he's taking me home.\nAs we're driving down the road, I start to tell him I had a fun time with him, and this dude just starts freaking out on me.  I remember he told me "You're nothing but a player.  You're one of those girls, you just play good guys like me.  Do you get off on playing people and doing them wrong?"  Of course, I'm like What the hell are you talking about?  So this guy proceeds to just b!tch me out:  I take you out and treat you right and you just screw me over.  That'
265434
1st cant stop scratching yr head !\nnow u cant stop laughing !\nwish yr husband best time !\nWeird girl :)
677897
One night when my girlfriend and me were comfortably settling in for the evening , I  whispered into her ear" I"m going to make love to you till the cows come home". Upon entering her from behind (spoon position) I could hear a soft mooing coming from somewhere. She broke me up so badly, we couldn't stop laughing for a long time after that.  True story. We were also very high on Gonegee, which added to the humor of it.
43594
There are a lot of really bad things that could happen on a first date.  The worst thing?  I don't know . . . if your date died, maybe?  That would just about top them all.  The worst experience I had on a first date was pretty mild.  It was a blind date and we went to a dance and when the song "Fantastic Voyage" came on, he started jumping like a pogo stick -- that was his idea of dancing. *eyeroll*
1154602
My date and I wound up talking in the car late at night, parked in the lot after watching a movie.  While we're talking, he noticed an old lady having trouble starting up her junky car.  He went to help her.  \n\nThere was a jogger who saw the problem they were having and he and my date got on the rear of the lady's car and started pushing so that the lady can get a running start at the wheel.  They were pushing for about 50 yards when suddenly, the engine comes to life and vrooom!  The old lady drives away without even thanking them.  They're flabbergasted, surrounded by a cloud of exhaust gas.  What made it hilarious was that the jogger dude wound up spraining his ankle while he was pushing the car.  We had to drive this total stranger to his house because he couldn't walk.\n\nThat wasn't really cool but it made the date a memorable one.  Also, it gave me an idea that my date was a very kind and helpful fellow.