As a military wife, how can I best deal with my dislike of how his watch commander treats him?
478291
Well in my opinion he already knows that his commander is a d*ck, but nothing worth doing is easy. I would want my wife to support me, not let me know how crappy my position is. I know that already. Give him something to look forward to and cherish the time you do get with him. Many other women have bigger problems than "my husband works to much." You have your whole life ahead of you two to spend time together, let him get ahead in life now so that you can grow old, happy and rich together.  Support him he sounds like a good one.
466150
I know what you mean.  My husband is a soldier in the Army.  We spend a lot of time apart with him in very dangerous situations. It would be really easy to get down, or be negative.  I just keep in mind that my husband is a great and brave man fighting for those too weak to fight for themselves.  What keeps me going is the pride I feel for him, and the wonderful moments come everyday when you treasure each other the way we do.\n\nGet Blessed!
481732
Calmy approach him and let him know that it makes you uncomfortable to hear him speak that way.  Ensure him that in no way are you trying to control his mouth, nor do you want to take away his feedom of speech.  Just let him know that his behavior is having a negative effect on your mood and you're afraid that such negativity may affect your relationship with him.  If he accepts your words and makes a conscious effort to change--and remember, it's not going to happen over night--then I'm sure you guys will be fine.  If not, however, then maybe "Mr. Potty-mouth" isn't the man for you.
988518
You just need to change the mantra in your head and be actively responsible for your behavior towards your husband.  Ask yourself how you would feel if he was doing this to you. You would feel like you were married to an insecure loser.  If you continue on this path you will no doubt drive him away or at the very least, into the arms of another woman. Men do not like nagging, if you are obsessed with compliments, he will feel you are being a nag and tune you out. If he is tuning you out audibly he will tune you out in his head too, therefore opening himself up to the possibility of another woman. Or he will say to himself, "hmmm maybe she is not that great." Talk about mixed signals, at once you call yourself beautiful and then on the other hand you beg for compliments. Tell yourself,' he is with me for a reason otherwise why would he still be here?' Fulfill all of your dreams with direct action of your own. Do not rely on others to make you happy. The only person that can make you happy is you.
54015
well, I see this from two perspectives-- I am a military man, and I have ALWAYS been faithful to my wife.  But I know that this is quite the exception....From my fellow Marines I know that quite the opposite is the norm. I was a military policeman, and I saw all the hanky-panky "my husband's on deployment"- and my uh, "cousin" is coming over- nonsense as I patrolled the housing areas.  Sadly, I must agree that MOST (Not all!) military men --And an equal number of Delta Whiskeys (dependent wives) are down with OPP- as we said "back in the day"
1059849
i know how you feel.  except mine is a 3 year old tantrum king!  spouse is deployed and we're far from home so i feel your pain...almost like being a single parent.  i enrolled him in a day program.  i feel like such a better parent when i see him.  i have a chance to miss him.  he is soooo feisty and just an all around boy he drives me nuts so having him burn his energy for 4 hours a day and then coming home...he's nice and relaxed and doesn't fight me when it's bed time.   also, you probably heard the saying.....terrible 2's, horrible 3's......lol
1100025
No, he is driving u crazy!  Get rid of him!  No body should have to live like that!  Who the hell does he think he is, your drill seargent?!  There is no way I would put up with that!  That actually would make me cheat by drilling me all the time!  Dont feel guilty!  You really need to put him in his place!  Slave days are over!
1137961
Personality clashes are one thing, disrespect is another. If he cannot properly handle a woman who disagrees with him, then he is not going to treat you right, either.
867690
I'm sorry, but he's not.  My hubby is on cycle break, thank goodness.  However, I'm checking on this for you as we speak and I'll do an edit when I have your answer.\n\nEDIT:  I'm so happy to help in any way that I can.  Military life comes full circle for many of us.  We were the "young'uns", now, we're the "old folks".  Never be afraid to ask questions.  Military life is a life like none other and we ALL need support.\n\nI really am glad you asked a question and specifically pointed me out.  However, my info is pretty limited as of right now.  Ft. Sill is closed due to our weather conditions.  Hubby won't be able to check much until he goes back in.  Anyways, this is what we have:  19 January should stand as graduation date.  That would be 9 weeks BCT and 2 weeks exodus.  We do fill up fast here and I'm glad you worked it all out ahead of time.  Hubby is going to try to check on exact dates of exodus.  Is your son coming home??  What a great present I'm sure that would be for you.  I'm glad his letters are upbeat.  That's a good sign.  Most of the Drill's here are cool.  We love all of them in our unit.  They really want these guys to succeed.  The phone number to the unit I think your son is in is (580) 442-1304.  I'm sure you already have his number, but this is what I deducted from the info you've given.  Your best bet is to call them....they do need to answer your questions.  I know they don't like to be bothered by family members, but you have a lagit question and they can answer it.  Since hubby is in a different unit, it's hard to get exact info other than knowing everything is on schedule for what's posted and that's the same he has.\n\nGood luck and I'm sorry I couldn't be more helpful.  If I do find anything else out, I'll be sure to post it on here.  Be sure to yell "HI" to me while you're in town!!  I can't even begin to tell you what an awesome experience graduation will be.  Enjoy!!\n\nEDIT2:  I wrote your e-mail addy down.  How did you find me??  I haven't answered any other questions of yours and you seem to know me so well.  Anyways, glad I can help and if I find anything else, you'll know about it.
471381
This will be a big test of your love for your spouse if you can pull this off without wanting to get out of the family completely.  I would suggest that you go in with an open mind and a servant heart.  Show interest in the things they find interesting--especially if it is in doing things a different way than you do.  Be willing to help out with chores--not to take over--but to go along side those working to show you are wanting to be with them and learn how they like things done.\n\nMost importantly, find time for time alone with your spouse and don't vent your frustrations to him, even if he is venting his frustrations to you.  And find time alone where you can clear your mind, re-commit yourself to being a learner and servant and have a cell phone so you can call up a friend you know you can vent your frustrations to!
248916
When you marry someone, you marry their family, like it or not.  Have you tried talking to your mother in law directly about the intrusiveness of her visits?  Perhaps explaining to her that you need some family time with just your wife (and kids?) will help her to understand and minimize her visits.  Do you ever visit her house?  Perhaps that's why she's always over at yours.\n\nInitiate a visit or dinner with your MIL - that will show your wife that you aren't rejecting her mother (btw - "getting rid of her" is the exact kind of wording that will get you into more hot water), but simply trying to maintain some family boundaries as well.\n\nGive a little and get a little.
237028
No. Why?\n\nI was in the military, and let me tell you, it is extremely easy to deal with an abusive military spouse. First you simply tell his CO about it and that should fix the problem most of the time. However, if you need to take it further, you can have him thrown out of base housing and they will garnish his wages while he has to find a place to stay. I really don't understand this question. Spouses of military people alway have a HUGE upper hand in the matter.
814267
If I understand this question there are 2 issues - the first is that you are having difficulties coping and the other is that he is suffering and has just returned or is enroute back to his unit and is also having adjustment difficulties. I am also going to assume that, based upon your description of not living near an installation you are a Guard/Reserve family. As long as this is accurate, my first suggestions is to contact the Family Support Group (FSG) leader and see if they have formed a support group of spouses yet. If they haven't, contact your rear detachment and get the name/number of your state assigned Chaplain. Even if you are not religious - he/she is the one the Army has given all the answers and resources to. Tri-Care will also cover counseling services for you, but there are a lot of little details you must take care of before going to see someone (go to the myTriCare website for full details for the region you live in). Once again, your rear detachment can assist with all of that if it is confusing. As for your husband, every FOB, CSC and Base Camp has certified combat counselors stationed on them or nearby. If his symptoms are severe (suggestions of harming himself etc.) contact his chain of command through the rear detachment ASAP!! If his symptoms are mild, find out who his downrange chaplain is and contact him/her and ask them to speak with him. You can find out who this is either through the state chaplain or your rear detachment. Your FSG may also have this information. If all else fails, AND THIS GOES FOR ANY SPOUSE WHO READS THIS please feel free to contact me directly at sofgrant@hotmail.com and I will specifically address or provide contact names and numbers for you.
444179
Tell her she comes up with the money, or you contact the Base Commander. ExO's do NOT like this kind of behavior, and will make sure you get re-paid.\n\nWhen you are dealing with dead-beat military types, this prospect is one they truly don't want to face.
236630
My husband is an enlisted advisor in the Navy and unfortunately he gets several calls a week about domestic violence.  As in any sector in our community, domestic violence is an issue.  He has to take the women to the Base police, give a statement and then the member is brought up to Captains mast.  That is where it is decided what is to be done.  I don't know what happens there, but if there are women reading this, they will help.  Call your command or Security.  They will get you out.
657348
My husband is active duty, but is able to retire because he has served 20 years. I enjoy being an officers wife. He is often gone, which is a down side, but during those times I am able to bond with my girlfriends. As stated in a previous message when he returns it feels like we are newlyweds. I also enjoy the constant moving. If you move to a place that you dont like, it's no big deal because you know that in two or three years you will be gone. I work also and when he is not home I do not have to rush home to make sure that his dinner is prepared properly and the house is in proper order.
853239
My hubby just got home in September!!! If you don't live on base and have military wives as friends, I suggest joining a Yahoo group for military wives... it's good to talk to others who've been there.. and are there for that matter!!!