unhealthy relationship with mah parents? any suggestions?pls!?
489973
Your parents want the closness you want to, believe me.  You're so young, you have all the things in life to look forward to, with your parents at your side!  Marriage, children, a lot of fun at holidays.........be honest about your feelings.  I am not a mushy, touchy-feely mom, but my kids never said they missed that.  It's not like I don't love my kids, I don't realize what they really want deep inside!  I know that, although we parents are close to perfection, we are not able to read our child's minds.  The fight is over, right?  You don't mention how serious it is, but forget about it, you can't change what was said.  Please talk to them.  Good luck. And try and pray about it!
814774
Your mom is looking out for you. You should not be allowed to do what ever you want. Do you see the news at all these days.  There are a Lot of things going on, even with people  you trust and you think they would never do some of the terrible things that they do. No one else will care for you and love you as much as your parents. You may not see it now, but when you get older you will appreciate that you had parents who looked out for your best interest. You are at the age were most children don't like much of what the parents say or do. With that said I do not think it is right for you mother to call you stupid. Try to talk to your mom about the name calling. Tell her how it makes you feel.
1044663
Look girl..I can understand what you're going through because my parents are exactly the same. The only difference is that they are still together....and they sometimes have their moments when they don't fight ..for a while. I grew up with parents that don't get along...I love my dad and I love my mom too, but they don't get along and mostly is because of my dad..who is "machista", he's thinks too "Manly". I didn't only put up with the fights, but I also got to see domestic violence. I was about 7 when I saw my dad hit my mom, he was drunk and got angry at my mom for something really stupid. Growing up in a family when parents don't get along was really tough on me too. I'm traumatized by it...I can't stand a drunk man..I get mad, and the sight of alcohol too. It has been tough on me..but the only thing you can do in this case is just talk to your parents and tell them how you feel about them fighting and how it's affecting you. Get help for yourself...talking always helps...but mainly understand that there's not much you can do. It's up to them to decide if they're going to life their lives fighting like cat and mouse. Just let them be..and don't too much...I know it's hard and it hurts you but just accept it and don't let if affect you. Again speak to them,..if you can't then get for yourself and as much as you can do ...to enjoy life without letting their problems affect your happiness.... and never blame yourself for anything!!! Live happy and enjoy life...good luck!!!!
231927
Hey, sounds like it sucks at home lately.  I have some words of wisdom for you, but I'm not going to drag your parents through the dirt in public, simply because you said "please email me."  So I've done that.  Keep an eye out for me, and we'll talk.\nOh, and for those who insist that you talk to them about it, I'll agree to a point, but right now it sounds like I wouldn't recommend it.
1121502
Perhaps you could ask her indirectly. Carefully crafted words are the key here to achieving your desired goal.....having a boyfriend. Okay, step 1) find a time when you and your mother are relaxing, no phones, dinner is finished, house is clean. 2) Begin the conversation like this: "You know Mom, I am now ___ years old, and I was wondering if you would allow me to go to the movies with _____________. I know you have not had an opportunity to meet ________, but I can invite him by the house on _________. He is a really nice guy. Now, if you do not have a boyfriend, and no prospects, then I would suggest that you address your mother in this manner: Mom, I have really matured over the last year and I would like to respectfully request permission from you to go on a date occassionally with a carefully selected boy that I will bring home first for you to meet.  Don't be shy about it. Be assertive, without being pushy. Tell her what your heart desires, and do it in a kind, courteous, confident and mature manner. The way you approach this request to have a boyfriend is important. You have to let your mother know that you are ready for this big step in your young teenage life. \nNow, be honest in your evaluation of yourself here okay? Think! Really think here! And answer my question truthfully! Question: Have you been on your best behavior over the last year? Have you done everything that has been asked of you by your mother? Have you gotten into any serious trouble lately? Did you make good grades and behave appropriately in school? These questions are important, because if you have been cutting up and acting like a trifling little hoochie mama, it is highly likely that your mother will say no. But if you have been a perfect angel, and behaved appropriately over the last year, then I dont see any reason that your mother will not agree to your terms. Also, let her know that any boy you meet, you will bring them home to meet her, and your curfew is 9p.m. weeknights and 10:30 on weekends. Or, if your curfew is later than this, use your current curfew. Well, I hope this helps. Best wishes to you. And have fun.
1097462
You know what? This may hurt, but screw your parents. I've lived an awful life, and I could tell you my life story, but it would go on and on. I'll give you the short version. I have been tossed back and forth between my parents all my life. (they were never married, and never intended to be, I was just a big "accident.") I would go not seeing my mom for 7 years and then not seeing my dad for 4. It's really messed up. I moved in with my mom 4 years ago after not seeing her for the 7 years. I thought that her and I could heal things with time, plus my dad is a really awful person and I wanted to get away from him. Things were ok for a while, and then about a year ago I cam home from school and she was gone. Just gone. I found out that she had moved to another STATE to be with some guy she met on the internet. So now, I have no parents.  I'm going to be honest with you--it IS a hard road, and sometimes you are going to feel like you will never make it to see tomorrow. You just have to have faith in yourself. And guess what? I'm 18 now and I have my own place with the guy of my dreams, and for the first time in my life, I am TRUELY happy. So I wish you luck...reach for the stars and never give in on your dreams. If your parents really love you, then maybe someday in the future they will see past their mistakes...
35165
Worry about getting along with your hubby, and be pleasant to his mother. if she wants to be unsocial, it should be your hubbies responsibility to addresses the issue. not you. now if your parents are disrespecting your hubby then you need to be the one to step up. nothing hurts a relationship worst then lack of marrital support. you two should be able to stand agains every one, even the parents since you decided to become partners, if your not. then you are saying that lack of committment and respect for the person you chose, or lack of faith how ever you want to take it.
419656
if its your parent well they are not ruining your life they just want to give you the best. but if you see your parents are doing something wrong and that you dont like it well talk to them nicely and tell them that you want to do work with your own tym and dont tell them that they r ruining your life (that really hurts) coz you myt might hav a son or daughter who say more hurtful things to you :).\n \nif its a freind who comands you to do stuffs then s*rew them! they'r not your friends they are users. but if they ask politely... then why not ? just make sure of wat they do is something that does'nt deal with damaging your health and the way you treat yourself ok? :) \n\nand trust me i think your parents reall love you :) i can see they care for you coz here it is .....\nthey tell you to go to sleep early because it makes you prevents pimples stress and lack of energy and headache :)\n\nthey tel you to eat at a certain tym coz they want you to stay fit and wants you to avoid getting sick and want's the family bond a bit while eating. \n\ntym to talk w/ your boyfriend? ahhh... i'm not sure with that but it depends (for me) if your the one who call well better make it shorter in chit chat coz you'r parents will be the one paying the bill not the BF. but if its the guy? well.. if your parents told you to stop and do your home work well.... just make sure you did all your chores before talking w/ your BF so that you can just say that your finish and that well..(just my sudggestion :P) tell them that your studying w/ your BF on the phone hehehe :P \n\now yeah they want you to do your homework because homework helps you learn faster and you can get good grades easier :)\n\nanyway how to deal with it ? well have a conversation about it and ask nicely. always complement them (you look grate today and stuff) and dont ever shout at them coz the more you do that.. well the more they will give you headache :P
623820
You have one mother. Men/women come and go and depending on the time in your life they maybe inappropriate anyway. Dont ever ditch you mother for one who may make you feel good for a few seconds. They might seem like the best thing since sliced bread but they are not worth it. If you are having conflict with your mother over a partner then there is possibly a very good reason - parents do not go through life "blindfolded", so give them some credit and remember who gave birth and/or raised you.
61299
Is there any neutral person you can talk to? Perhaps a trusted relative? Otherwise, if your parents are willing, perhaps they will let you talk to a counselor. A good counselor will act as your advocate and listen to you without judging you. He or she will also help you to put things in perspective.\n\nIf those are not possibilities, keeping a journal may help. Also, staying active with outside interests and activities can help to keep you away from the turmoil at home and give you something else to think about and care about.\n\nGood luck! I know how difficult it can be when parents fight. Sadly, they don't always realize just how much it affects their children.\n\nDr. Barb Nefer, http://www.bnlifeskills.com
132821
As the saying goes "Money is the root of all evil."\nYou have no control over your parents behaviour.  I hope you don't feel their fights are your fault in any way.\nI'm sorry to hear that they fight in front of you, causing you pain, that is selfish and irresponsible on their part.\nYou could try letting them know how much these arguments upset you by saying something like, "Please, if you feel  you have to fight could you spare me and do it some place else, or when I'm not around?"  Tell them it hurts you to see them fight. It MIGHT do some good if you bring to their attention how it makes you feel. However, I wouldn't get my hopes up too high because I doubt if they will change, especially if it has been going on for a long time.  \n\nHaving a spiritual relationship with God is what I suggest for bringing you peace of mind.  Prayer is what works for me. Find a special scripture in the Bible and think of that in times of stress, and when you have a troubled (sad) heart.\nGood luck,...and God Bless you.
905577
You didn't say your age, but I'm assuming you still live at home--hense the "grounding".    Parents have reasons for why we do things.  Sometimes they may sound silly and unreasonable to our children.  But, you need to respect your parents wishes and avoid that friend.  Perhaps in the future you will understand why your parents want you away from that person.
1065161
Be open and honest it is better to talk with them and for them to know what's going on.  Parents may be disappointed YES, but that doesn't mean that they are going to stop loving you.  It's like I'm trying to teach my kids, I may not always like everything you tell me, in fact somethings I might even get upset over, but that has NO impact on just how much I LOVE YOU!  It's hard to believe but most times when we get upset over something it's because we've been there and done that, we know the mistakes you are making and how painful the pitfalls can be, and we hope to prevent you from making some of the same ones. But you also have to grow and learn and even though we would like to lock you up and never let you out you have to learn to make wise choices and that doesn't happen with out screwing up occasionaly.  We also like to think that our little girls are never going to grow up. It's tough for us to see you making grown up choices. Honestly though, parents know more than their kids think, and sometimes it's easier to turn a blind eye.  It's killer to think of your kids doing those things, one day you will understand.  I have eaten my words of "I'll never be like you when I'm a mom" "I'll be understanding"  Yeah right, as a teen you can't  fully understand parents because that's God's gift to us. We on the other hand have the experence and knowledge of our youth, and the smarts from learning from our screw-ups.  and you can learn alot from sitting down and just talking about this with your parents.  It can also bring you closer.  Parents like it when their kids do take the time to confide and trust in them.  Just tell them that you want to sit down and talk. Decide on a time, make an invitation and give it to them, saying the date and time.  Then plan out how you want to tell them. You could always write a poem and stick it in the poem.  Or you could write it in your journal and leave it out in a open place for them to read.  Of coarse I'm sure they already know where you keep it and could already be informed and are just waiting for you to come out with it.  Just remember that know matter how upset they may seem at first, they really do LOVE YOU!!!! I guarantee it. \nAnytime you want to talk feel free.........Your parents are not the enemy!  Learn to trust in their love for you. In closing I really hope that this isn't my daughters friend Becca, I might just have to whop you myself when you get back. So much for the pleasantries sounded nice though lol...........but really it is true. Just alittle humor there, who knows maybe my daughter put you up to the question. OH that would be really bad!!!!! OK, don't let my thoughts get the better of me.  It's tough being a parent, and really we don't get paid nearly enough. Take care and stick with the game of softball and those bases, it's much safer.
822558
Honey, I have been there.  I had a 7 pm curfew on weekends when I was 17 years old.  Tell your parents to trust you and if you do anything wrong, then they can take all rights away again.  You can't do no wrong until you try something.  Tell them that you are a levelheaded  responsible 16 year old and that you would like to win their trust, but you won't be able to if they keep you hidden and secluded.  Tell them you will grow up and move away.  Tell them that you will live a sheltered life and it is not good for your health.  Tell them your true feelings and make them listen.  I feel so bad for you because I was there.  Then I turned 17 and moved away from home, had my own apartment while I was a senior.  I had a full time job, gymnastics practice and school.  I did just fine and it taught me how to be mature.  I am not telling you to take off, but I am telling you to talk to  your parents because they may not understand your TRUE feelings and how you want to hurt yourself.  Just think, you will be 18 in a little bit and you will be able to begin your life the way you want and be your own boss.  Don't hurt yourself, because in all honest, it is not worth it.  Talk to the parent you are closer too!  I feel for you, I have been there.  Then I moved to FL.  I moved away so my family would realize what I meant to them and that they didn't have a hold on me.  It doesn't work for anyone, so don't runaway or anything.  I did this all as an adult okay? Let us know how it goes because I am genuinely worried about you!  Good luck!
821012
Stop going out with him.  Your parents love you and want to protect you from harm. It's obvious that you know what you are doing is wrong and it's tearing you up inside.  Do the right thing.  Respect your parents if you ever expect them to respect you.  If you want them to trust you in the future, then be trustworthy.
196552
Did you try telling them..If not just don't be anywhere near them alone. Tell your parents and take appropriate action.
655557
I know exactly what you are going through right now.  I had a fight with my mom on Sunday (yes, Mother's Day), and we still are not speaking.  She was wrong, but I think I've taken it too far now, and this is what I'm going to do.  \n\nTalk to her, and tell her the things that bother you as they are, no matter how hurtful it may sound.  Just tell her that before starting, so she can understand why are you being hurful.  I've found through out the years, that telling her my exact feelings, no matter what, always seems to work.  \n\nThe catch is, if she takes it the wrong way, you could have a bigger problem later.  It just depends on the kind of relationship you have with your mother, and how much do you really know her in the end, to make up your mind about what to tell her.\n\nYou say she's sick.  Well, that changes things a little bit.  If she has MS, then she must be tired most of the time.  If this is the case, get off her back and start growing up.  She has obviously raised a good child, if you are so concerned to voice your questions here, so take a look deep within you and identify the problem YOU have with her, and fix it.\n\nI hope this was helpful!  Have a great day!