Should husband and wife sit and plan for the month?
475566
If you're happily married for 10 years without sitting down to discuss finances, you should be ANSWERING the questions. \n\nIf you can manage to keep your finances straight without having a big discussions and occasional resentment, than you should share your secrets with the rest of us hapless strugglers.
26161
Have your friend make plans to go out and to tell the husband all about it; if he wants to come along, he will.  Otherwise, he can sit at home and wait for her while she goes on living her life.  I'm not saying for her to do anything wrong, just continue living and if he wants to be part of her life, he will come along with her.  That's how I did it!!!
785136
It sounds like both yours and his priorities are noncommittal. Seeing each other when convenient should be enough for now. If this was love you would not have to ask this question.
292964
Ask the spouse or a relative.
404170
yes, the more time people have the easier it will be for them to plan this.\nbtw, spa sounds awesome, HAVE FUN!
1170140
Oh my goodness, if I didn't set some time out for me (and my hubby) then my head would be filled with greys (and that;s if I hadn't pulled my hair out yet! lol). We have younger children so they are VERY needy, so we set aside a time at the kids' bedtime for us. Also every other Friday we have either his parents or mine watch the children so we can have "date night" it really keeps the marriage healthy and helps us keep our sanity
580827
Married or not, yes, you should set up dates on occasion.\nEvery week? No.  When it works out? Yes.\nIt is important Not to let your relationship go stale.  Dates, or impromptu meetings for lunch are nice too.\nFor instance, call your mate and work out a quick meeting for lunch, or Even before work, Go to breakfast.  Keep things going and keep thing fresh, and you will have a good chance of keeping your relationship healthy.
1146049
You're joking, right? You are definitely not asking too much for your man to spend the little free time you both have without the kids together. Are you set on going out or could you perhaps "ramp" him into spending time together starting with an intimate evening at home? Next time you can remind him you two stayed in for him last time so it's his turn to accommodate your wishes.
910709
It's a matter of balancing things.  One would hope that the children were semi-planned for.  \n  In this day and age, as it has been for over forty years now, it tooks two incomes to achieve the 'American Dream'.  That in and of it's self is a shame.  \n  The responsibilities need to be divided as evenly as possible.  Based on each persons current strength and future learning curve.  Another key factor that MUST be acknowledged is for the couple to share private time. This needs to occur at LEAST once week.  There may be no choosing between 'housewife or MD', that decision was made quite awhile ago, now wasn't it?!\n  There is no easy answer, it needs to be logically discussed.  Not that it be 'cast in stone', for we must remain flexible, things change.  If they didn't, you would not be asking this question!\n  Write a list of each others stength an weakness, prepare one for you and one on your spouse. Compare the lists and build from there.  REMEMBER to be flexible, and no need to argue, be civil.\n  It's not going to be easy, BUT anything worth having never is. \nLife is not designed to be easy, it's here to teach us lesson to build a strong union and prepare for what the future will bring.  A little prayer to the Deity never hurts either.
350881
Well, is there anyway of compromise? Is the distance between the place of his new job in september and your stable job place too great to commute from a place that's in between the two places?  \n\nIf it is commutable distance for you two, then I suggest that you and your husband staying in a rental home or a reasonably priced apartment that's nearer to your two job places and renting your new house or keeping it for your selves for later.  After all, being so far apart from your husband seems to hurt your relationship with him to the point that it might lead to a bigger issue in future (like god forbid, a divorce).  Communication and intimacy are important keys in a relationship; without them, a person can lose many things in life that he/she might regret later.\n\nHowever, if the distance seems to be too great, then you can stay in your new home by yourself while your husband again goes to the job place and works but I would like to suggest that you two take many oppurtunities that you can to make up for the lessened communication and intimacy in your lives by visiting in the weekends or monthly (whatever suits your schedules).\n\nWhile stable jobs are important to life, a stable relationship is also important to life.  It's up to you two to calmly figure out the balance between the supporting your relationship while having jobs so that both will be happy in the end instead of being frustrated about not understanding the different levels of importance the two of you give to the relationship and work.  After all, you two are individuals and as such you two have different ideas and beliefs over what's important to each of your lives.  To find out the differences and to understand and respect eachother's ideas and beliefs, please do talk seriously about it so that you two can better balance between your relationship and works.\n\nGood luck!
249967
I helped a friend of mine last year with her wedding.  They rented a small but beautiful space near the lake at the city park and had everything right there, reception was chicken and fixins from a local restaurant, cake from the grocery deli and music was a cd player with their favorite smooth jazz tunes.   It was Labor Day weekend, so the guests were in casual attire and it was beautiful.  Remember, you have to eat the next day, and the day after that and the day after that, the most important thing is to make the marriage work.  So many people waste money to impress people who really don't care, so keep the main thing the main thing, making a beautiful life together!
964600
I think the together idea is quite romantic. If you were my hubby I would want you to come. So my suggestion set it up for both of you. She will love it. It will definately be bonding time to.
565018
Make a list separately of what you both want, enjoy, need - pay no attention to order or anything Else. Then get together and compare, here you can eliminate or even add to a single list you agree on. Then place them in order of importance, please no arguing - if it is important to you (or him) then it is - no matter what you (or he) thinks. Now we have a list, next place a time next to them. House - 3 years, vacation - 1 year etc. Then put dollar amounts next to them - house deposit needed $10,000 divide that by 36 (3yearsx12) you now have a monthly value. Once you have done this you will see that you have monthly values for the things you are trying to do. Then add up everything and get a monthly total. You'll either have enough to do it all or not enough to do it all. Then sit down again and work out what you can eliminate or reduce - going to the bar (or whatever) once every two months is cheaper than going every week(or night!). House deposit in 4 years instead of three etc - Once you can see what you can achieve, and you are both on board, then it is easy to do. This may take a few talks, so get coffee and cookies and sit in a nice and comfortable room. \nThe idea is to give your spouse something they want, and help them understand in order to get it, they need to save/cut back/stick to budget - whatever term works best - to get it. Where 'it' is something they (and you as a couple) agree is worth saving for.\nGood Luck!
58656
Get the limo for your friend, a babysitter for the kids and be nice and invite the husband. If you truely think he will be upset, then invite him. Better to have him along then to have him throw a hissy fit and mess up your friends B-day.
1035085
Do something fun and a little less ordinary together. One year my husband suprised me by whisking me off to the beach. he had gotton takeout food from this really great itallian place and we had a little moonlit picnic. Next year we are playing with the idea of getting tatoos. You could go rock clibling or take a hike up to a beautiful spot and take in the veiw. A hot air balloon ride or, if more adventurous maybe sky diving lessons.  Whatever you do, try to establish your own little traditions. Like every year no matter what our plans we always have a glass of champagne from our wedding flutes together. One year we had just moved, and were completly broke and had our champagne in the middle of an empty apartment with nothing but lawn chairs for furniture and that was one of the most memorable. Maybe because it was such a clear message that it doesnt really matter what you do as much as who you are with. Happy Aniversery, and Good Luck.
1009347
you should sit down with her and have a calm talk and tell her what the truth is and remind her,what goes on between you and your husband is strictly between you and your husband.
13512
please finish the question. one should take a vacation whenever possible.  men and especially women should avoid stress and modern life as much as possible.