I am 32 with a high sex and find my wife very attractive but she does not like to have sex.  What should I do?
484279
You really cant do much. But you can go get help but my thought on that is .She is a woman and she knows herself going for help may only make things worse.\n\nBut you need to roll with it and I don't mean follow behind her like a dog. Let the time come when she notice that you aren't asking are waiting. I know that is hard.\n\nBut you must not look like she has a dildo always ready for her. She maybe just hard to turn on she may like hunting.\n\nYou can do it she is your girl she may need this back up. May all things work well
253737
Sex is important in a relationship and obviousley most people would not get married or stay married if there was no sex involved. I would not marry someone who did not give me sex either. I do not think it is offensive to think like that. I just think you should tell her and see if she will change, ultimately you might not get what you want and you might and up divorcing her but would it hurt to try and make it work first.
402941
Being a mature woman myself, I have to tell you that it will take patience & work on your part,but do know that it will be well worth the trouble. Most women ,of any age, need to be reassured that they are attractive & desirable. Try to think of your Wife as a Girlfriend that you are trying to impress.You will find yourself being more romantic & thoughtful towards her. This will help her start to like herself again & her sexual desires will return. IF YOU ARE PATIENT ENOUGH.Or should I say...IF YOU LOVE HER ENOUGH!! You could also ask her if she has any  sexual fantasies,or if she would tell you what she would prefer that you do. Sometimes, when a woman isn't in the mood... It would please both of you if she were to please you ;-). This should be expected only on occasion. It sometimes works also to make an agreement ahead of time,to just cuddle,kiss & rub your hands all over each other,but DO NOT HAVE INTERCOURSE. Just knowing that it is just for stimulation & nothing more,will excite both of you. Then plan for the next time to do the same ...BUT... agree that if she wants to go farther you will,if not,enjoy the closeness you have achieved & go for the next time. As I said, PATIENCE. IT WILL BE WORTH IT FOR BOTH OF YOU, I PROMISE.   P.S. If you are as mature as she is... Your time is coming too.
656106
It sounds like you didn't do anything wrong at all. Obviously the picture you give may differ slightly from hers, but it sounds as if you have been caring and respectful to her and that you have been patient. I don't agree with the previous answer that you hsould break up. You have invested a lot of time and love in your marriage and family and it would be sad to throw it away. If she genuinely just has no interest in being intimate it may be a purely medical problem, like a hormone imbalance that is causing it. (http://www.womentowomen.com/SYMlossofdesire.asp) If she could consider seeing a doctor about it, they might be able to help. If she is reluctant to do this, and it seems she might be, then it is a difficult situation. \nYou say she 'gives in to sex', that doesn't sound particularly pleasant for either of you. Perhaps, you could try just taking the pressure right off, try and spend time together, maybe get away just the two of you. Enjoy each others company, and go only as far as she is comfortable, holding hands, whatever that is. Take it super slow, and see how she reacts. \nI know it isn't the best answer, but I hope you work it out.
641901
Talk to your wife; communication is key.  A healthy sex life starts in your brain!  Ask questions: What are her preferences?  What are your preferences?\n\nContrary to the belief of a great deal of men, a good sex life doesn't just happen.  A good sex life---one that is not selfish on either part---is one that is learned like dance steps to each different song.  You don't do the cha cha to a slow waltz melody and get a very satisfying dance.  So, if you don't learn to dance together, to get each other's rhythm to be as familiar as your own, then "dancing" will be clumsy and usually not very enjoyable for anyone.\n\nBut when you both love the music, you both are familiar with the dance steps, you both know each other's bodies and how they move to the music, then you can feel like Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers.\n\nTalk--this is the person you've shared your life with for 36 years; you can talk about anything!  Communicate, listen, and share with each other.  Then put on some music and start learning to dance together.
1149268
its from a lack of something in the home. We got along with everything else, except for sex. We could play and tease all day then at night I would be all worked up and she would roll over in bed to sleep like nothing had happened. I tried talking with her about how I felt and about her lack of interest. She would acknowledge her lack of sex drive but would never do anything about it.
153521
It sounds like you wife needs to see a Doctor first. She could have a medical condition that needs to be addressed. If that doesn't work then take her to a Psychologist for help with your sex life. Good luck
178074
Well what age are we talking here? \nIf you two are too young then I totally agree with her - but if not then perhaps you must decide what is most important to you. Do you love her enough to stay by her side despite the absences of sex, or do you weigh heavily on sex in a relationship. Now, I am assuming this is what you are talking about, (the sex I mean) because if she does not let you touch her at all - then you definitely need to talk/help her or probably best to leave. She must have some serious personal issues.
470152
Men and women have completely different needs when it comes to sex, usually. No, you can't change her. But there may be a deep seated reason she is the way she is. Perhaps something she hasn't shared with you or some fear.\n\nIf it is that troublesome for you, see a sex therapist or start marriage counseling.
666085
First off if you love your wife then why would you leave her?  A marriage is built on trust and understanding, not ignorance and dropping out when the times are rough.\nAre there physical reasons for your wife's inactivity in the bedroom?  Perhaps she should see an OBGYN about it.  Is it your jobs? Find a way to spend more time together.\n\nI guess I'm saying take a few steps back and look at the situation from every aspect, with your wife.  If it's only low libido then try somethings to spice up your love life, massage, games, strip tease, make out in the back seat of the car, sex toys, etc.  Find what gets both of you hot and bothered and use it.  Instead of masturbating, masturbate each other.
2483
Are things or situations putting a lot of stress on your wife? Have you and your wife had any kids yet? Have you gained weight yourself? What things have happened in your lives such as eating habits and changes in lifestyle that might have encouraged this weight gain? \nFor one don't divorce her. Two, hopefully you married her on a higher level beyond her looks even though that also was an attraction you had towards her. Also for her to ask you she is already aware of the fact that she has gained this weight and would probably would like to hear such things like, "We can do it together, take it one step at a time,etc..." Do things with her like eating healthy, and exercising, so she knows she has your support in it. Also, try different sexual positions, be more exotic and make love to her because she wants it not just because you want it. Sex can also be a very exciting and fun way to lose weight. If all this doesn't work and you still don't find her sexually attractive then this is beyond her weight and I would advice you get help.
446670
Sex is a wonderful, and integral part of a marriage. If one party is no longer interested, there IS a reason. Seek counseling and get to the bottom of it!! My (now ex) wife would not, and we had sex 4 times the last 6 months we where together.. Or I should I had sex 4 times, she had it a lot more, so I found out later.. Like I said, something is wrong.. .Depression, cheating, resentments, physical illness, something!
1115836
well you can try to mix it up alittle. try role playing or throwing some toys into the mix that usually makes it interesting. if you are seeing her lose intrest as well you could change your outlook on see how many times you could get her off or even tease her till she gets crazy. diffrent things you can do go to some websites and look up fun weekends or games to play will add alittle spark here and there to peak your intrest and im sure your wife will greatly appreciate it as well.
805630
yes that is normal for you not to be attracted to your wife she has now become a fat cow and that isn't what you married, just try and deal with the next two months, the 18 year old will get you into trouble because by the sounds of it you are a lot older and that normally spell trouble
167253
Put on a porn film just while having sex with your wife!\nShe could be agree and consequentially you could lose interest in it.
1020513
Sounds like to me that shes doesn't get into it much.  Maybe she feels it is an obligation to have sex.  If you are a needy man and have to have sex all the time, she may feel like it is a chore.  Maybe you need wine and dine her.
330471
GreenGrasshopper,\n\nWow! 8 years! Many people don’t last that long without any real problems. First, I salute you, it is in doing the tough things well that we discover that God is real. Congratulations for being so loyal and loving.\n\nSecond, do something about it. If your husband doesn’t desire sexual pleasure, then don’t try to make him perform or enjoy it if he isn’t interested. You – on the other hand – are interested and there are other ways for him to satisfy you sexually without intercourse.\n\nIt’s an old movie and quite possibly before your time, but in “Coming Home” a paraplegic with absolutely no ability to perform sexually made Jane Fonda very satisfied. I’m not condoning adultery as the movie did, but my point is that your husband’s problem need not necessarily be your problem. If he loves you, as you love him, then he must be willing to do something to satisfy you sexually. It is his duty to do it. It is not the ideal way to enjoy sex to see it as a duty – it takes the fun out of it – but it is each partner’s joy and duty in a marriage to satisfy their mate.\n\nI think personally it would be hard for me not to be able to have children. You don’t mention that so I assume that it’s not a problem for you.\n\nI am happy that you are a Christian. It makes your life much easier in one sense. Talk to God honestly, and ask Him to fix it. He loves you, and He does not want you or your husband to suffer with this. Your husband must be demoralized and discouraged by his inability, too. Insist on change, and don’t quit until you see the change that you desire.\n\nI really suggest that you and your husband pursue this matter together. Go to the doctor with your husband. Go to a marriage counselor with your husband. Keep going and keep doing whatever it takes until you succeed. You have been a loving wife for a long time, and the way I see it this is being a loving wife, too.\n\nDivorce is horrible, and it is not the only solution. Do not quit until your problem is solved no matter how many doctors or psychologists it takes or how long. Just make up your mind that you are going to change the situation, and it will change.\n\nAgain, I really admire you for making the right choice and staying in your marriage.\n\nGod bless.