i still love my kids father. do you think i should get back with my kids father?
488065
if u love him, YES. does he love u?
243538
uhmm.....depends...if you still love him and REALLY wanna be with him, and if he never hurt you, and if you enjoy the things that you guys do together, then you should TOTALLY get back with him! but then again, its depends on the reason why he left...its all up to you
240763
It's not a good idea but it's a great idea. I think it's important for you to get back with your ex because you have to do it for your kids and their own future. But if the two of you argued a lot then it's better to have seperate kids with you because when a couple argue and there's kids involved they will affected mentally and physically. But it's still up to you, it's your decision.
1071850
Separations are never easy (as I very well know)...Give yourself and your child time!!\n\nTalk to your child, and let your child know he/she is loved by 'both' of you.. and if need be, reassure him/her that it is not his/her fault you broke up!! (as some may think/ feel this way).\n\nYou have left your partner for I have no doubt good reason: but he/she has in their eyes lost a daddy, and is going through a grieving process of their own, which takes time to come to grips with.  \n\nHopefully daddy will still be around, and be able and willing to play a part in his child's life ... and if like my ex-partner and myself, maybe you two will be able to put the past behind and become 'friends' for real, or for the sake of your child in time, and then he/she will have the best of both worlds!!\n\nIts a difficult one, and my heart goes out to you.
167618
Right now, I can only go by what I would want my children's father to do.  I would want him to do what is best for him, because in the long run, he would then be able to take care of my children better. Think about the long haul. Set out your pros and cons. Writing letters, sending videos and tapes so your child can see and hear you are some other ways to keep in touch with him.  If you decide to stay with UN, always tell your son how much you miss him and love him and that you are always there for him even when you are far away.  Make sure you instill that in him so he knows that Daddy loves him and is making a better life for him.  \n\nThat is what I would want my children's father to do.  What ever is best for you, will be best for your child.  You seem like a wonderful dad and I am proud of you.
1175810
Buddy, first you need to ask yourself whether you are really loving him or you are just attracted to the physical or behavior qualities of him. You need to take an appropriate decision taking care of the future of your child.\n\nIn many of the children whose parents are seperated, there is about 60%+ chance of having acute behavioral problems and if not cured in the childhood itself then the problems could be serious. So act accordingly..
32882
I would say try to make it work if you can, it sounds that he is good for your kid.\nDId you loved eachother at apoint?\nIf there is no other way just talk to him
226776
If the father has visitation right and has not been abusive to the child, yes, I would. I believe that fathers are very important in a child's life. Just because parents get a divorce, they should neither one pull away from the child. If the father can't come to the child, you should take the child to the father. A 5 year old is not mature enough to make this kind of decision. It's up to you to do what is in the child's best interests.\n\nIf the father has been abusive to the child, under those circumstances I would be more reluctant to insist the child see the father. You didn't indicate why the child doesn't want to go. Is it a fear of hospitals? Is it fear of the father? Do you put the father down in front of the child? Is there any valid reason that the child shouldn't see the dad? These are all questions that could relate to the issue.
207601
This is a tough question for me to answer because I was in the same boat.  My son thought his dad was everything and he found out what kind of person his father really was on his own.  You can't take their dad away from them, let them find out on their own.  It may hurt you as you watch your children get hurt by their dad not wanting to do anything wtih them,  but at least you can say truthfully that you did not hurt them.  This is the worst thing you probably will ever have to do watch your children hurt, because you know as well as I do when your children hurt you hurt.  Maybe things didn't work out between the two of you but who is to say that it won't work out for him and his new wife.  Sometimes when we see our ex's move on with new GF's or wives it hurts us because he was never there for us at the times that we needed him the most.  If the kids want to see their dad take the first few times slow and if they don't wanna go and see their dad after that don't force them in seeing him.  But remember he has feelings too and it hurts just as much when someone steps on them..............
94821
No, you don't love both of them.  You may like both of them but you don't truely love both of them.  The fact that he is your sons father shouldn't play a role in this decision because your not currently together.  So do what is really in your heart and what is best for your life.
657563
Maybe you should continue to stay separated but start "dating" again and work on your issues. Having children in the relationship I feel it could be detrimental to them to have him continually coming and going into the home. I would continue being involved in your church, praying for him and your marriage and continue marriage counselling. If after a few months and giving it 100% there are still no changes in him/willingness from him to work on his issues then I would sit down and seriously contemplate if this situation is right for you and your children. But hopefully with prayer and God in your life you will see some changes. I definitely think baby steps is the way to approach this situation. God be with you.
955539
well 9 times out of 10 it will be good for a while but then it will go back the way it was but if you both work at it for the kids sake it could work out if you both really want to get back together.Need to date each other again not moving in together just dating to see if it might work out small moves and time will tell.
46314
Give your children all the love you can and forget the loser that walked out of their life. Same thing happened to me. Father left when they were very young and never came back. If the father does a huge turn around and becomes worthy to provide them the love they need then you might consider easing him back into their life some time down the road. In the mean time be happy and live your life the best you can. Only thing you can really do. If you feel your children really need a man figure in their life maybe a grandparent or big brother program could fill the gap?
396488
Your situation sounds like mine!  The father of my kids basically turned his back on us.  He ran off to live his life and complete his education while leaving us behind.  Next thing I know, he admits to having a child by someone else (after the kid was almost two years old).  I could go on and on about the situation, but I won't.  Now he wants me back because he can't find a decent female that will accept a guy with three kids AND bad finances!!!  Ha, ha, ha!!  It's so funny!  Before, the man was telling me all of the reasons that I wasn't good enough for him!  During a recent conversation, he even admitted that, at one time, he thought that he was better than me!!!  Now, he's always whining about how he thinks that we should raise our kids together, which, I admit would be a good thing.  But, I know that he wants that for the wrong reason, only for his convenience.  I could go on and on, but this is about you, not me!!  Sorry!!!  What I'm TRYING to say is that if we weren't good enough for them before, we're not good enough for them now (or in other words, we're too good for them now)!!!  I don't know exactly what your children's father did, but if he chose to run off and leave y'all to live his life as he pleased, then I don't think it will be worth your time to fool with him.  Invest your time into becoming as successful as you want to be and into finding a man that will love and respect you and your child or children!
347838
Yeah... I know how this feels. If you think you truley love him then you should be care full and tell him in a time that you feel is right. And don't judge him by his past. I mean his kids could be great and just because he can't get over his ex dosen't mean that he still dosen't love you back. Good luck ^_^
171397
I would reccomend that you do some real tough self analysis, Im not suggesting that your nuts, Im talking about looking deep within yourself to see why you want to be with this man? Your evidence is ;\nhe has been emotionaly abusive to your children.\nhe has been emotionaly abusive to you\nhe may be trying to get you to do things you dont want to  \n          He knows you and you know him, ask yourself, do I want to go through this again, do I think he will be good to my children this time?\n          It sounds to me like he has many issue's to work out before he could be a good husband and father. I'm sorry if this sounds very judgmental, but I have very little patience for abusors. I feel that the victims of abuse need to be taken care of first and kept safe. If he wants to become a person who will be good for you and your kids let him do it first then consider reconciliation.\n     This way you will not have to deal with more abuse from him, no one needs hear put downs from their family, and you wont have to deal with any guilt you would have for allowing him into the lives of your children and him doing more emotional damage to them.
1007487
He's worthless.....so start weaning your kids from him.  Never talk bad about him in front of the kids.....they'll eventually will learn and have their own opinions of him.  Any father who doesn't want to spend time with his children is a worthless piece of sh*t.  If worse gets to worse....you could always tell the kids that he moved far away.   Best of luck to you..........