Two men were drinking in a pub. Not long afterwards, 2 women walked in.?
481817
each one married the other one's daughter!
228046
SORRY IF YOU'VE SEEN ME POST THIS ELSEWHERE\n\nThis is a long one, but worth it:\n\nThis guy goes into a bar after a promotion to celebrate with his buddies. Aftr a few drinks he notices, behind the bar, a big jar stuffed with $50 bills, so he asks the bartender about it.\n\nThe bartender replies, "Oh that's just a running bet we have here. You gotta pay $50 into the pot and if you complete 3 tasks, you win the whole jar. As you can see, no one has ever won."\n\nAfter a few more beers and 2 shots of Tequila, the man announces in a slightly tipsy voice, "Screw it, I just got a raise. I can afford to lose $50!" and he slams a $50 on the bar. "OK. What do I gotta do?"\n\n"Well," says the bartender "like I said, there are 3 tasks. First you gotta finish a whole bottle of our homemade 200 proof Fire Water, after that you gotta help my pit bull tied up out back. He's got a sore tooth and you have to go pull it out for him. If you survive THAT, you have to go upstairs and pursuade the landlady upstairs to have sex with you. She's a virgin and she's 106 years old. Raping her is obviously out of the question."\n\n"Fair enough" said the half-drunk man. The alcohol coursing through his veins had emboldened him. "Gimme that Fire Water!" And lo and behold, he managed, to everyone's shock to finish the whole bottle without pause. \n\nBarely able to keep the contents of his stomach down, he was turned and nudged, by the astonished bartender in the direction of the back door, where the dog was tied up outside. The man stumbled drunkenly through the door and bravely slammed it closed behind him. A fierce barking, accompanied by breaking glass, garbage cans smashing, yelling and groaning erupted outside. After a minute or so of this racket, a loud dog yelp, followed by it's whining was heard.\n\nShortly afterwards, the man stumbled back through the door, his clothes torn, blood dripping from multiple bite wounds and looking like he'd been hit by a truck.\n\nThen demanded in a drunken slurred voice, "OK. NOW WHERE'S THAT OLD LADY WITH THE SORE TOOTH?!!"\n\nI'll take my 10 points now.
416957
All you can do is state that the party is "dry" and if they should come with their own "refreshments" they will be asked to leave.\n\nUnless the party is at a hall where security can ask them to leave your only recourse would be to call the police.\n\nDo you really think they would dishonor you wishes that way?  What kind of man is your husband? better yet what kind of father??
283996
This is one of the burning questions that have been bothering me for 5 seconds now. probally someone stoped in for a drink
924399
Heard this yesterday...2 men and a woman\nWoman goes in last, does the same\nMOTTO...Don't mess with women!!!
382150
so these two guys walk into a bar...you'd think one of them would have seen it!\n\n\nhahaha, i totally cracked up when my friend told me that one
240994
cuase they dressed like woman
607482
two migets go to a bar looking for sex, they hook up with two girls and the take them back to there adjoining hotel rooms.\nthe first miget turns out to have a really crappy night because he could not get it up.\nto top it off all he can hear from the next room is...1,2,3 here we go, about every 5-10 minutes 1,2,3 here we go...all night long.\nthe next morning they meet for coffee and the one miget asks the other, how'd it go for you last night. well he says i'm kinda embarrassed but i could not get it up. the other one says you think thats bad i couldn't even get on the bed!!!!
73154
She lost them in a bar bet...
295652
Her and her other men?
527936
A man goes into a cocktail lounge and approaches a beautiful young woman, sitting by herself. He asks politely, "May I buy you a glass of wine?"\n \n"No, thank you," she replies. "Alcohol is bad for my legs."\n\n"Sorry to hear that," the man says. "Do they swell?"\n\n"No," she answers. "They open."
1067411
Coming Home Late\n\nTwo married buddies are out drinking one night when one turns to the \nother and says, "You know, I don't know what else to do. Whenever I go \nhome after we've been out drinking, I turn the headlights off before I \nget to the driveway. I shut off the engine and coast into the garage. \nI take my shoes off before I go into the house, I sneak up the stairs, \nI get undressed in the bathroom. I ease into bed and my wife STILL \nwakes up and yells at me for staying out so late!"\n\nHis buddy looks at him and says, "Well, you're obviously taking the \nwrong approach. I screech into the driveway, slam the door, storm up \nthe steps, throw my shoes into the closet, jump into bed, rub my hands \non my wife's a_s_s and say, 'How about a B_J?' ... and she's always \nsound asleep."
950419
Have you been drinking?\n\nOh....and "Polish men are God's gift to women"........Now that's funny!
274793
TWO...but how did they get in there?
922797
only if they are both drunk
724074
I got one for yah.... a man goes to a sky bar and orders a shot of tequila, then walks over to the window and jumps out. A few minutes later, the man enters the bar again. Another patrion at the bar see's this and asks the man how he is still alive. The man answers: the taquila give's you buoyancy. So the patron orders a shot of tequila and jumps out the window and..... DEAD!! The bartender looks at the other man and says... Your an a$$ hole SUPERMAN!
540542
They are too drunk to feel the pain! :)