How do I let go of grudges?
488707
You are truly in a classic catch-22 situation with no real positive outcome unless you change your perception of your relationship.  The reason that I view this as a catch-22 is that you have competing feelings about the relationship and are not even truly aware of it.\n\nWhen you hold a grudge, or in other words, withhold your forgiveness for past actions, you keep yourself closed off from the full potential of the relationship you are in.  At the same time that you are limiting the potential of creating a stronger bond with your boyfriend you are wishing and hoping that you will mysteriously be able to let go of the grudge you have been holding against him for his past actions.\n\nNot letting go, not forgiving, holding grudges...these are all natural emotional reactions fueled by your ego in an attempt to prevent the same pain you felt last year from being felt again, especially at the hands of the same person.\n\nIf you are unable to take the risk of trusting, then you are going to be similarly unable to release the negative blanket that the grudge is over your relationship. If you cannot release the negative value judgment you hold against your boyfriend then your time wondering how you are going to be able to move on will simply be time wasted.\n\nIn short, you hold this grudge to protect yourself, which is fine and normal in most situations.  If you continue to hang onto the grudge, in the very least be honest with yourself regarding the related consequence of you also holding back your relationship.\n\nI know the whole thing doesn't sound fair, but he cannot change the actions of his past so the responsibility is upon you to change your actions in the present, anything short of that and you are going to be wondering how to get over your grudge for a long time.\n\nGood luck.
545498
That's a hard one. It's really going to take a while for your friends to forgive you. What I think you should do is give them some space, then do something HUGE that says "I'm sorry and I've learned my lesson. I won't lie to you anymore." That might work pretty good. Good luck and I hope I helped you! :)\n\nPS. I'm sorry can work magic in situations like this.
147107
no, try not getting emotionally attached to jerks. anyone that makes you feel bad is not worth the time.
783991
God bless you for trying, I will pass the kindness to each person I meet, but it is getting really hard. It is never too late to stop hating. Even though attitudes are tough to handle sometimes, I don't hate anybody, even when they hate me.
112442
Apologize.  Acknowledge that you are human and have done wrong.  Ultimately you will have to forgive yourself and move on.  (Easier said than done, I know)
556921
You need to let what's on the inside come out.  In other words, you need to vent this pent up frustration/emotion otherwise it will eat away at you until it eventually will vent of its own accord when you least want it to (i.e. you will snap at someone, or will break down in tears, etc).\nA good way to vent frustration is to do some physical exercise, like visit a gym.  Or failing that, just beat seven shades of sh*t out of your pillow, that might help!
642739
First things first, you have to find out the truth about what happened. Then you make them feel guilty by saying something like "Why would you lie to me about that?" or "How could you not trust me with the real truth?" (That one might work better... lol). Then you don't talk to them for a while and let him/her sweat it out a little bit, and when they ask you why you aren't talking to them simply say "I'm sorry, but I cannot be friends with someone who is going to lie to me." Then when they apologize, say to them "It's ok, but it's going to take me a while to trust you again". That will make them feel really guilty and they won't want to lie to you again... but that's only if they care about you a lot. Good luck... I hope you and your friend make up soon. :)
183222
time to stop feeling sorry for yourself...get a hobby, spend time with family and friends, catch up on the reading, balance the check book, do some volunteer work...work on YOU. You can't change your former's feelings.\ntime to move on.
13331
drop hate. Act like a child, never look back, don't worry about tomorow, live for the moment. Good Luck.
273428
Number 1--the words Bf are not nice and anger will not alove your problems--leave them alone.   Let go, and let God.  Unless, you are willing to really forgive and stay together, from your tone I do not think that will happen, you can kill more flies with honey than you can with vinger, hold your head high, the best way to deal with that is to take care of yourself and do better.  Ignore them and keep moving on
656797
I think a rude answer, but why waste your energy trying to get back at someone?  Just ignore them and let it go, then you are the better person.
462547
the greatest revenge is success. do some special things for you, perm your hair, buy new cloths, and listen to music you never herd before, then go out and flurt. Tell the girl you will forgive but never forget, and that chis dick was small so you were going to dump him any way. Then move on, and forget them. It hurts, happened to me, and I am still not over it, but I moved on. you have to wait until some else comes along to take your mind off it completely.
1127211
You can't do much if they won't forgive you and let it go.  You can apologize to them from the bottom of your heart and tell them how sorry you are - thats your part to do.  Their part is to forgive you and really mean it and move on.
1135416
decide that you can only change your feelings. mind over matter. just decide that you're going to forgive them and move on! you can pray for help too, it'll help you gain the peace you seek.
431174
After realizing your mistakes and apologizing sincerely to him, then give him space, don't drool on it as it will not give him the chance to reflect on what you've said that has hurt him or your words of being sorry. Time doesn't really heal whatever pain we've experienced, but it gives us the chance to take it, to carry it and to understand why things have happened. Its more difficult for a man just to forget, forgive and pretend nothing has been said that has hurt his ego or his total self. Just continue being you, the person he used to be a friend with, smile when you see him, though stop nagging or pushing yourself into him to put back everything that was. That's done and gone, start from scratch, that's the cause and effect of what you've done. Accept and WAIT, wait when he's ready to be friends again. Remember, wait and have patience.
948548
W/E U WANT MAN.... IF YOU CAN GET THEM SOMETHING SO THEY CAN SEE THAT YOU DONT HAVE A GRUDGE...IF THEY COME TO EAT AT THE PARTY AND THEN LEAVE GIVE THEM SOMETHING TO SH** ALL NIGHT IN A BAG OF TEA OR IN THEIR MEALS.
975335
There's no "political sin" and nothing to be forgiven. If you 've been saying what you feel to be true, where is the fault? I will never apologize for my opinions or emotions because then I would only be a liar to both myself and the people I've compromised for. If you feel like you're going the wrong direction, just change it. Don't dwell on past actions with regret because ultimately they bring you to the point you want to be at (if you're lucky enough to find that point), and there's really no other way to get there.