Try this riddle: Why do you think the woman and her baby was asked to leave the restaurant?
480261
she breastfeeding her baby ,there was no outside fast food allowed
955004
It is proven she killed the baby by microwaving her she should suffer the death penalty.\nIf proven the baby already had a high temperature and the mother neglected her she should be given time and in addition ordered to seek out psychological help.\nIt's up to forensics and after that the judge.
390425
I would think the best way to handle it would be to simply ask her to move her car (without it being strongly worded). Explain the situation -- Excuse me, ma'am, but your car is blocking the drive-in. Would you mind moving it? Being non-confrontational in your wording -- ie no curses, nothing too strongly worded, no insults -- is often a more effective (not to mention polite) way to acheive your goal.\n\nAnd if she refuses, then involve the manager. The manager will doubtless not want to lose the customers trying to get to the drive-in and rental kiosk and speak to the woman again.\n\nAnd if all else fails -- just have patience. Wait inside away from the fumes if they're bothersome.
830465
Dunno..Why is it when a pregnant woman is murdered, it's double murder?
924051
Ok, I'm stumped if this is some sort of word play I cannot figure it out - would like to know the solution.\n\nIf this is a plea for help, contact your city or county for advice on child placement please. This is simply not a safe place for child placement.\n\nAnd if this is a joke - I'm concerned... wouldn't this fit better in /humor/tasteless? where it would fit into the, 'take my wife... Please!'.\n\nPeace,\n\n-dh
1083803
lol... a "no offense" in you riddle? Now I am scared. You usually only use that in your jokes.\n\n\nhmm... a square meal? lol.. idk
560012
She always wanted to ___Get___ a career in law. After she __passed____ her exams, she ___got____ a job in a small company. Within six months she ____had___ promotion. Now she ___has____ a lot of money, but one day she wants to ____own___ her own business. \nAs soon as I ____get___ home, I ___do___ my homework. I often ___make___ mistakes, of course, but I always __do____ my best. I never work for too long. I like to __have_____ some free time to relax.
911062
B: they both are drived by a woman!
976042
NOTHING\n\nA man was found murdered on Sunday morning. His wife immediately called the police. The police questioned the wife and staff and got these alibis: \nThe Wife said she was sleeping. \nThe Cook was cooking breakfast. \nThe Gardener was picking vegetables. \nThe Maid was getting the mail. \nThe Butler was cleaning the closet. \n\nThe police instantly arrested the murdered. Who did it and how did they know?\n\n\nANSWER: the maid...the mail doens't come on Sunday
773816
Waitress seated me at a restaurant and then NEVER came back. I had to get my own drink, napkins, and silverware. (It was at Pizza Hut, buffet lunch) I didn't leave a tip and she said something. I said What do I need to tip you for all you did was walk me to a booth, which I would've done myself. She was rude so I told her manager why I didn't leave her a tip and after her rudeness I knew I made the right decision. The Manager, named Rita, was worse then the waitress. I will NEVER go back to Pizza Hut again. The one where I live is beyond help and so rude.
612888
The scene was a tiny mountain village in a remote section of West Virginia. An old mountaineer and his young wife were getting a divorce in the local court. But custody of the children was a problem.\n\nThe mother jumped to her feet and protested to the judge that since she had brought the children into this world, she should retain custody of them.\n\nThe old mountaineer also wanted custody of the children. The judge asked for his side of the story and, after a long moment of silence, the mountaineer slowly rose from his chair and replied, "Judge, when I put a dollar in a candy machine and a candy bar comes out, does it belong tome or the machine?"
961337
I was dining out with friends, 4 couples in all, in a restaurant which had a series of semi private rooms. \n\nI fell asleep and my friends decided to tiptoe out and leave me to it.\n\nAnother group who we did not know, asked was happening and without prompting took my friends places,\n\nThey then woke me, and thanked me for buying them a wonderful meal, presenting me with the bill.\n\nI was severely embarrassed.
712637
It was her responsibility to pick up something to eat or nuke her food before she left. If you had been in the bathroom and she needed it would she have yanked you out? She was rude and definitely in the wrong.
606144
A woman goes into a restaurant in a small town in the South. She orders some chicken and starts to eat. Eating too fast, she starts to choke on a chicken bone. Buford and Buck, two country boys in the next booth, notice she is choking. So they get up and go over to help her. Buford drops his overalls and bends over and then Buck starts licking his butt. The choking woman watches these two go at it and is so grossed out that she launches forward and throws up all over the place, dislodging the chicken bone from her throat. Buford pulls his overalls back up and says to Buck, "You're right, that 'hind-lick' maneuver works like a charm."\n~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~\nA boy was meeting his girlfriend's parents for the first time for dinner. After dinner, his girlfriend and her mother left the room to do the dishes, leaving him with the father and the dog Duke, who was sitting underneath the boy's chair. Unfortunately, it was a large dinner and he really had to fart. He stealthily let out a quiet, but audible, fart. \n"Duke!" the dad yelled. \n\n"This is great!" the boy thought. "He thinks the dog is farting!" So he let out another one. \n\n"Duke!" the father barked. The boy thought he was home free so he let everything out at once in a really loud and smelly fart. \n\n"Duke! Get out of there before the boy shits on you!"\n~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~\nA guy walked into a bar one day and said to the barman, "Give me six double vodkas." \nThe barman says, "Wow! You must have had one hell of a day." \n\n"Yes, I've just found out my older brother is gay." \n\nThe next day, the same guy came into the bar and asked for the same drinks. When the bartender asked what the problem was today the answer came back, "I've just found out that my younger brother is gay too!" \n\nOn the third day, the guy came into the bar and ordered another six double vodkas. The bartender said, "Jesus! Doesn't anybody in your family like women?" \n\nThe man downed the first drink and shook his head, "Yeah, my wife!"\n~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~\nThis guy comes home from work one day to find his dog with the neighbor's pet rabbit in his mouth. The rabbit is dead and the guy panics. He thinks the neighbors are going to hate him forever, so he takes the dirty, chewed up rabbit into the house and gives it a bath, blow dries its fur and puts the rabbit back into the cage at the neighbor's house, hoping they will think it died of natural causes. A few days later, the neighbor is outside and asks the guy, 'Did you hear that Fluffy died?' The guy stammers and says, 'Um...no...um...what happened?'. The neighbor replies, 'We just found him dead in his cage one day, but the weird thing is that the day after we buried him we went outside and someone had dug him up, gave him a bath and put him back into the cage. There must be some real sick people out there!'\n~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*\nOne day three women went camping - a blonde, a brunette and a redhead. The blonde suddenly had to go to the bathroom. She went into the woods with her toilet paper and did her business. \nWhile she was gone, the brunette and the redhead decided to play a joke on her. They skinned a rabbit and snuck up on the blonde, put the guts behind her and ran back to the campsite. Three minutes later they heard a scream. \nThen they waited another half an hour and the blonde came back, sweating. She said, "I had to poop so hard I pooped my guts out. But thanks to God and these two fingers, I stuffed them back in."\n~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~\nMAN: I'd like to buy some dog food.\nCHECKOUT LADY: Do you have a dog? \nMAN: Yes. \nCHECKOUT LADY: Where is he? \nMAN: He's at home. \nCHECKOUT LADY: I'm sorry,
1168903
First off, what did you do to make your wife leave? Because you probably did something wrong. Second, praying probably won't help you at this point. She's gone, homie.
587713
kind long but funny\n\n\nJohn invited his mother over for dinner. During the meal, his mother \ncouldn't help noticing how beautiful John's roommate was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between John and his roommate, and this only made her more curious.\n\nOver the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started \nto wonder if there was more between John and the roommate than met the eye.  Reading his mom's thoughts, John volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Julie and I are just roommates."\n\nAbout a week later, Julie came to John and said, "Ever since your mother \ncame to dinner, I've been unable to find the beautiful silver gravy ladle. \nYou don't suppose she took it, do you?" John said, "Well, I doubt it, but \nI'll write her a letter just to be sure."\n\nSo he sat down and wrote "Dear Mother, I'm not saying you did take a gravy ladle from my house, and I'm not saying you did not take a gravy ladle. But the fact remains that one has been missing ever since you were here for dinner."\n\nSeveral days later, John received a letter from his mother which read: "Dear \nSon, I'm not saying that you do sleep with Julie, and I'm not saying that \nyou do not sleep with Julie. But the fact remains that if she was sleeping \nin her own bed, she would have found the gravy ladle by now. Love, Mom."\n\nLesson of the day: Don't lie to your mother.\n\n\nShe spent the first day packing her belongings into\n> > boxes,\n> >\n> > crates and suitcases. On the second day, she had\n> > the movers\n> >\n> > come and collect her things.\n> >\n> > On the third day, she sat down for the last time at\n> > their beautiful dining\n> > room table by candlelight, put on some soft\n> > background music, and\n> > feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar, and a\n> > bottle of Chardonnay.\n> >\n> > When she had finished, she went into each and every\n> > room and stuffed\n> > half-eaten shrimp shells dipped in caviar, into the\n> > hollow of all\n> > the curtain rods. She then cleaned up the kitchen\n> > and left.\n> >\n> > When the husband returned with his new girlfriend,\n> > all was bliss for the\n> > first few days. Then slowly, the house began to\n> > smell. They tried\n> > everything, Cleaning, mopping and airing the place\n> > out. Vents were checked\n> > for dead rodents and carpets were steam cleaned.\n> > Air fresheners were hung\n> > everywhere. Exterminators were brought in to set\n> > off gas canisters, during\n> > which they had to move out for a few days, and in\n> > the end they even paid\n> > to replace the expensive wool carpeting. Nothing\n> > worked.\n> >\n> > People stopped coming over to visit.\n> >\n> > Repairmen refused to work in the house.\n> > The maid quit.\n> >\n> >\n> >\n> > Finally, they could not take the stench any longer\n> > and decided to move.\n> >\n> > A month later, even though they had ! cut thei r price\n> > in\n> > half, they could not find a buyer for their stinky\n> > house.\n> >\n> > Word got out, and eventually, even the local\n> > realtors refused to return\n> > their calls. Finally, they had to borrow a huge sum\n> > of money from the\n> > bank to purchase a new place.\n> >\n> > The ex-wife called the man and asked how things\n> > were going.\n> >\n> > He told her the saga of the rotting house. She\n> > listened politely\n> >\n> > and said that she missed her old home terribly and\n> > would be\n> >\n> > willing to reduce her divorce settlement in\n> &
137359
Here's the riddle:  "Angry and hungry are two words that end in '-gry'. There are three words in the English language. What is the third word? Everyone knows what it means and everyone uses it every day. Look closely and I have already given you the third word. What is it?"\n\nAnswer:  Here is the quesiton. "There are three words in the English language.  What is the third word?"  The third word is "language".