how to rebuild confidence within myself?
493591
just remind yourself with all the things that you wanted to acomplish and all the dreams that you wished for and arrange them according to their importance and start doing the easiest ones and along that you may find what you were looking for just like that
754074
It's nothing you can't change...you need to boost your self-esteem.\n\nI gave you a thumbs-up for admitting there is a problem...THAT IS THE FIRST STEP !!!\nSEE BELOW:\n\nhttp://www.more-selfesteem.com/\n\nImproving Self-esteem \nThe first important step in improving self-esteem is to begin to challenge the negative messages of the critical inner voice.\n www.utexas.edu/student/cmhc/booklets/selfesteem\n\nWays to Improve Self Esteem \nWays to Improve Self Esteem by Susan Angell ... Apply "self talk"\n www.dtda.org/insights/improveesteem\n\n365 Ways to boost your self-esteem \nAn ongoing list of way to boost your self esteem -- check back here every day for the next way to boost your self esttem...\n www.lifefocuscenter.com/365waystoboostyourselfesteem\n\nhttp://www.selfesteem4women.com/?ad=5
619949
I was much like you, but I have gained alot of confidence by working out at a gym, playing tennis, taking aerobics, karate, going for a run...Any physical activity is good, it releases chemicals from the brain that help releave stress and make you feel better. Also,in public you could try helping someone less fortunate and giving compliments to people.
875877
I have a few suggestions on overcoming your problems.\n\nYou need to love yourself for the person you are, tell yourself daily that you are strong and confident (preferably when you feel the least). Everyone is unique. Everyone is different. Good posture might help with your confidence, it sends a confident vibe.. \n\nTry acting confident for a day, you'll see you might actually like it.. and it's not as difficult to pick it up after a while as it sounds.\nSometimes you might feel a little cheesy but it will really help.\n\nAs for the concentration.. work on developing patience and listening skills. If you are genuinely interested in what a person has to say, it is easier to listen. Or you could try tapping one finger on your leg, I know someone who does this. (discreetly though) Don't make it look like you are impatient. \n\nI hope this helps
1046743
Sounds like deep seated feelings of inadequacy... this usually passes with time... we all go through a phase in our adolescence when we doubt ourselves, self confidence comes with age and experience for most people. I myself had an epiphany while reading a book by a man named Richard Feynman, entitled "So what do you care what other people think?" and I just 'got over it'. When you stop caring what others think about you it is a very liberating feeling, you should look forward to it. Best of luck.
183348
Learn about yourself. We all have special gifts and talents that we can share with others. Celebrate yours. If you have flaws that you think you can change, take steps to change them. Choose to be ok with what you cannot change. \n\nEvery day, take little steps to appreciate being alive. Yesterday, I saw a pretty painted piece of wood, I had a lovely conversation with my neighbor and I had a tasty piece of bbq chicken. Look for your little joys.  Smile and say hello to everyone you see. Make it a point to go out and find people to be near. \n\nLove and be kind to yourself.
45213
This can be tough, but has a simple solution that is difficult for some to acomplish.  First, you have to force yourself to look at yourself OBJECTIVELY.  No internal reflection at all.  Try to see you for what and who you are....not what you think.\n\nI like the answer regarding responsibility, but it only answered one facet of self esteem.  The next thing you need to do is understand self esteem and what it is.  Self esteem is how you feel about you.  The fact that you are asking this question tells me that you care about yourself enough to try to improve.  That is abmirable and worthy of esteem.\n\nNext, try to identify what may be damaging your self esteem.  Is it really flaws in you, or just people you are surrounded by inventing them?  My experience is it is usually the latter.  Try to spend more time with people that make you feel good and less with the ones that don't.\n\nRemeber, the fact that you care enough to develop and improve, makes you worthy of esteem and respect.\n\nBe Well and I wish you the best.
59369
You have to get out of the negative talk in you head that keeps you feeling self conscious.\n\nThe best way to do this is to do something selflessly for someone else. Go volunteer at a soup kitchen, or at a hospital, put change in someone’s expired meter without them knowing, go volunteer at head start , do at least  3 selfless acts a day, with no concern of how you will benefit and or gain from it and I promise you will begin to feel better about your self. \n\nAlso do something nice for yourself at least once a week, paint you r nails, get a facial, and take a relaxing bath, what ever you like. \n\nThe best way to feel good about your self is to give, give to other, give to yourself, and you will begin to receive all the confidence and self worth that you need and more!!
364464
they say you want to feel confident be confident. Fake it till you make it. In other words pick yourself up by the shirtsleeves and put yourself out there. Get over your fears and go on with life.
249097
Think about what assertive and confident look and sound like, then look and sound like that.\n\nSome details that come to mind...\nstand or sit tall\nmake eye contact\nspeak a little slower than usual\nspeak a little lower (no high squeaky voice) than usual\n\n\nBest of all, know your stuff inside out. That way you should actually be confident.
520218
You need to resolve this conflict, don't hang on to the unfortunate events of past. Your experience in life makes you shy away from people.Look ahead and concentrate on the positive aspects of your life. You have had love and marriage and this is what will eventually help you heal. You need to develop some confidence and learn to love yourself. Don't distrust everyone, not all people are bad. Make friends and make efforts to socialize with people in a friendly manner. You will be surprised how people begin to like you. That will help you raise your self-esteem.\nLife is short, live it in the best possible manner, all you have to do is to make efforts towards a positive living.\nGod bless.
1052475
A person should not rely on a feeling of confidence that comes from external means...ie...you say when you are "...alone or with a close friend..."\n\nWhat that tells me is that your feeling of confidence MAY come from the fact that you know your close friend's strengths and weakness and insecurities...and so you KNOW that in certain areas you are "stronger" or "better" or "faster" or whatever....and IN COMPARISON that makes you feel confident. Or, IN COMPARISON that makes you feel less insecure. What it comes down to though is YOU comparing your strengths and weaknesses to others you know to help YOU feel confident. \n\nThat works great.....until you walk into a room of strangers........and suddenly your knowledge of their strengths and weaknesses is nonexistent. NOW how are you supposed to judge yourself? Now that you know nothing about them...you lose confidence in YOURSELF, because you don't know how you "compare".\n\nYour abilities and strengths and weaknesses are not RELATIVE or SUBJECTIVE. If you run a 45min 10k....you run a 45min 10k. THAT is objective...not subjective. It is a GOOD time that may even be getting better. If you have a good knowledge base in some subject, or an innate curiosity about things...THAT is an objective, positive quality. \n\nI think the key is for you to realize your strengths and weakness in an OBJECTIVE way...ie, not comparing them to other people...but just getting "your hands and mind" around them on your own...sort of a self-realization thing or something. If you are pretty...you are pretty. Not "pretty compared to...", but just plain pretty. If you run well....you run well. Not "run well compared to..."\nIf you have curious, thought provoking questions....then you have \ncurious, thought provoking questions...period!\n\nOnce you become aware of YOUR STRENGTHS you will become more confident. Not "your strengths compared to other girls' strengths"....but just YOUR STRENGTHS. They exist whether you are alone in your room, or in a room of 1000 people. They don't leave you! Your artistic ability, your athletic ability, your academic ability, etc all stay with you!\n\nKeep THAT in mind next time your mind starts to doubt!!
572240
The best advice that you can get in a situation like this is going to come from a trained professional--a therapist.  It just might help you find a way to excel on your own, and find the confidence to be anything that you want to be.  Gl, be strong!
243845
believe in yourself and your own capacities! \nNothing else is true!
31512
Love yourself. Give yourself the freedom to express yourself as yourself. "To thine own self be true" as Shakespeare said. When you start to feel insecure remind yourself that everyone is unique and different and that other people may be feeling equally insecure.
975676
just keep your chin up and shoulders back. It will make you appear more confident
664949
Sounds to me like you need friends who will encourage you and be confidence builders. You're going it alone and your shyness is holding you back and this is where good friends will step in and give you support. Reach out, make friends who will help you feel more secure about yourself. Some of us here list our emails and message links to be of help. Take advantage of this and the experience others may have that can offer you support and advice as friends should.\n\nBest Wishes!!