My cousin is 25 years old and has changed careers in college a lot of times, how can I help her?
475318
It sounds like she's not passionate enough about anything (except maybe her b/f) to stick to it right now.  That's not at all unusual for someone in her 20's.  It might be good idea fro her to take some time off to explore the world and mature a little bit.  If she really wants to finish, she will.  If she doesn't, it's not worth trying to force her.  Also perhaps she has some ADHD or personality problems that are making it harder for focus and cope with school?  She should see a counselor.
798686
The loss of a parent is devestating.  I lost both of mine, my father as a child and my mother in my 20s.  Your sister is grieving right now, she doesn't need to be "pushed" into anything.  What she needs is your love and support and encouraging words. If she isn't ready to go back to school or feels she won't find a job with her skills suggest she try doing a little volunteer work for a cause that interests her - animals, babies, senior citizens, battered women, homeless people, there are volunteers needed everywhere doing a variety of things!\nIf you can get her interested in volunteering a few hours a week, it will be a start so when she is ready to either go to school or get into the work force she will have something to write on her resumes.
789599
You should encourage him to get a bachelor's degree in communications, business administration, management... something along those lines. For his elective credits, have him take things that enhance his communications and planning/coordination skills. It may be of interest to contact several planning/dispatch companies and ask what kind of educational requirements they look for in applicants.\n\nSome may say none, it is personality driven... regardless, encourage him to get the 4-year degree. It will be much more valuable to him later than he may possibly imagine today.
683572
Because she is 18 and graduating,I'll bet when you restrict or pressure her,she will end up moving out and either shacking or marrying the 26 year old year old with children or want to.She is not old enough to make it comfortably on her own so she would most likely live with someone else.She will then have herself a ready made family that may or may not work out. You are doing her no favor paying "her"cell phone bill.When I was that age I had strict parents.Every child in our house had chores.We were never charged rent,but was expected to do chores to help out,it was not fair to our parents for them to do all the work when they feed us and gave us a home for as long as we wanted.If you did not follow their curfew and respect their home,then you had to move out. We worked a summer job and when we graduated were expected to work a full time job.If I made any kind of bill,I paid it,they did not.That is not being cruel,that's making me responsible.You are the step parent,so if I were you,I would leave it up to her father(her blood parent)to talk to her.If you try to,she may look at you and say "I don't have to listen to you,you are not my mother".So,for your feelings,let the father have a one on one talk with his daughter.Tell him to explain to her what he seeing her getting into and how it is going to be in reality such as:In the relationship with the 26 year old she will be a mother(step-mom)to another women's children,depending on how active the 26 year old man is, may end  up baby sitting while he's out doing whatever,may end up pregnant by this man and have even another child.Sit her down,don't be mad,just explain to her that yes this is her life and if "she" ends up with the 26 year old,her life is over as she know's it.It will be her burden to carry,not yours.Ask her to think about all the freedoms she has now and how she feels about losing all that at such an early age.You know how real life is and you only want the best for her.Now is the time to talk to her and get her to realize exactly what kind of life she is going to have if she ends up with this man.Don't be mad when you talk to her,just be very honest.Then do not cater to her irresponsibility.Let her pay her bills and live her life.Like my parent's told me,go out and make your bed hard if you want and you,not I will sleep in it.They said if you get into trouble,"you" will have to figure out how to get out of it.I thought my parents were mean,but I realized how much they loved me,some of their advice I didn't listen to,I wished I had.She is graduating and will be an adult somewhat.You have to let her make choices for herself.If she decides on a life of misery,there is not much you or your husband can do to stop her.Give her the best advice you can and stand by your word when you say she is on her own.She will find out really fast that life is not fair,things are exspensive,life is hard,that she had it so good and didn't know it and most of all she will quicklly learn she does not know everything and possibly that you were right.
240890
Sometimes college isn't the right choice for some people. My parents had the biggest plans for me and I just wasn't ready to commit to another 4-7 years of school. I decided to take my own path. Now I married with 2 beautiful boys and my parents wouldn't trade their grandchildren for anything in the world. Now that I am ready I'm going to take courses on-line for accounting and maybe some child care incase I decide to open a daycare. So give him room and let him make his own choices he might suprise you. Maybe in his time he will go to college. If not he can still make a life for himself. Just watch and see. My parents can't believe the way my life turned out I'm happier than ever. Life does have its challenges but they have ways of working themselves out.
1039067
I know its been said but first of all be encouraging.\n\nMake it something fun not work. No child (and most adults) want to do work. \n\nHelp him set goals. Small short term goals that lead up to bigger goals. Have them feel like they are working up to something important to them. Often graduation or college just isn't enough. Find out his true dreams and goals and set up ways to get there!
88421
Tell her how you feel about what she's doing. Tell her first, then if she doesn't change, tell your aunt. If she STILL doesn't change, you shd have nothing more to do with her.
586179
just give them lots of support and help with their studies. Tell them you love them and just do your best and that if there's any help they need, that your always there for them.
438253
The problem with deciding for her is that she may rebel.  If she chooses herself then she has to prove that it was the right decision.  If you choose, she can go about proving that it was the wrong choice.  She is more involved and committed if you let her choose.  It's not the end of the world.  She can change back later.  Art school graduates can do academic stuff in college.  She's not really deciding for the rest of her life.  They change their majors all the time.  My boyfriend calls it "malicious compliance" which is what you often get when you dictate something like this.
946258
I see both sides.   It is just your first year, maybe you need to give it more time, and ask for help from the university to make it not so hard.    Maybe you need to switch the subject to something that you find interesting.  I am sure that she still loves you.  She is probably overwhelmed by her fear that you will struggle (maybe as she has as a single mom)   I am sure she just wants what is best for you.    I never got to go to college, and didn't want to when I was 18.  But I am 36 now and totally regret it.  I would almost give anything to go back and get that degree.  Besides I read that ANY college degree automatically gives you at least $23,000 a year in salary more than a person without one!  That's amazing.   You need to sit down with you and talk about the options.   Maybe you can come with some alternate ideas on how to succeed.   Maybe something else is going on with her?   If you haven't been around so much because of college, I am sure it's hard to deal with as well for her if you two were really close.   Try to get her to talk, and let her know that you understand her fear, that you won't get a degree.   Tell her that you want to figure out how to get that in some other way.
1119549
Let her know that she has plenty of time to get married.  So many college grads. get married to quickly before either one really knows what they want in life.  You just don't really know what, who, where, when your going to be doing anything that early in life.  If their relationship is solid they have nothing to worry about and can get married in a few years once they begin to settle into their lives/careers.
848974
I am 78 years old and was the first in my family to go to college. In fact, although I have dozens of cousins and they had a number of children, only a few of my family have finished college to this day.\n\nThis is what I have observed. I have spent my life in college administration and my cousins and I do not chat about the same work interests. However, they have all been good citizens and have led productive lives and, unlike me, have many practical skills. They keep up with current events and have a refreshing outlook on life. \n\nI enjoy talking with them and am proud of them!
811572
You're not getting any feedback and I can't personally answer, but a friend of mine is a 32 year old, twice married mom of four, working at a clerical, part time, poorly paid job.  Her husband is doing well at a major utility company.  She knows that were she to maintain the status quo, she would live her life quite happily in terms of financial resources; however, she has a itch to get her degree for her own personal edification and education.  Should that transition to a career, wonderful.  But she has no expectation of that.\nHope that's what you are looking for.\n-MM
949554
You should stay out of her romances. She's young and experimenting. Why should she be thinking about marriage at such a young age?  She has her whole young adult life to live.  Do you really want her to have all those pressures of a family of her own to think about. I would just do everything I could to make her go to college. There she can learn about the world, before she ties herself down, and hopefully meet a good guy whose her age and has a decent education.
432338
Please ask her to refer :\nhttp://www.lawcareers.net/Information/FirstSteps.aspx\nShe will get the basics, to which she can add anecdotes about her own and personal experiences.\nWish her Luck, from me !
975907
The best I can tell you is to talk to them to see if you can get extended deadlines - many with empathize with you, but they wont sympathize with you.  There attitude will be if you can't cut it in college its not their problem.  I would suggest cutting back on the hours at work and try to shift some of the family obligations to other family members.  In the long run you getting a college education will benefit all more than what ever the short-term issues you are dealing with now are and its important that others not be so selfish on your time.  You need to be a bit more self-centered on yourself and your goals or you wont make it.\n\nGood Luck!!!
549223
Girl - are we related???  My brother is the EXACT SAME WAY and has done the same thing to me.  He's been this way since he was around 20 as well but he's freakin 31 now and still a bum.  However, my mother is still alive so he's lucky - and that's where he lives.  She enables him and that is why he will never change.\n\nI say you have to show him TOUGH LOVE.  Do not enable him to be unemployed, jobless, etc. or else he will never change. Some people have to learn the hard way.  Let him fend for himself.  Help him at a distance.  If you feel you need to let him live with you - place strong conditions on it - such as he must respect you and speak to you accordingly and the first time he doesn't - he's out.  Do not bend on that.  Then make his butt get a job and go back to school to get his GED.  Have an agreement with him before you let him back in that those are the conditions and if he does not do them - he will have to live elsewhere.  There are shelters in every state. Be strong and firm.  And pray for your brother as well.