a giant squid just burst into my kitchen demanding beer. should i give it to him?
477842
You could make some money from this situation. If you give it a lot of beer you may get six quid. (You may have to be English to understand this)
1014311
Pick a small basket of the mushrooms and take them to your neighbor, or leave them on his doorstep.  Perhaps with a little note that says "they turned out lovely this year, if you'de like more please let me know, maybe we could trade for some fresh rosemary."\n\nHe'll know that you're aware of his thievery, and hopefully be shamed without you having to darken your own spirit.
740468
You should "one-up-him".  Teach her how to crush beer cans with her forehead.
242349
Always take two when you go fishing. If you take only one, he'll drink all your beer.
63608
A leaking can of beer.\n\n\nOr maybe a drunken superhero.
612527
Catch it. Shave its head so I can set my beer on it, and make it follow me around.  Then Put it in a cage in my basement.  So I Can Have my own PET MIDGET.
709992
I would let him try to give me my three wishes. If he started leaving I would tackle his A$$ so fast....then eat his goods :)
381632
in the mood for a beer, had draught beer earlier and have a lil buzz going.\ncall me sometime well drink
68016
BEER of course but you can buy some frozen meatballs and put them in a crock pot with some BBQ sauce and it is wonderful and also some cocktail weinies wrapped in bacon and put in BBQ sauce is a big hit here at my home. You could also do Pizza sandwiches. Get Rye bread and Pizza sauce and put your fav things on them and pop them in the oven til the cheese is melted. but by all means DO NOT FORGET THE BEER!!!!  GO STEELERS!!!
479082
Sure, if you care about him...who cares what others think! you aint breakin no laws! Plus he is happy because you can buy him beer!!!!!!!!! good luck
474145
i think somebody put something in my drink
255567
I would think so.  You could probably keep him in the basement, but make sure to send down food every once in a while, along with substantial supplies of Mountain Dew.
1160710
Priceless! I almost fell down laughing.\n\nAsk him which way he thinks it would TASTE best!
900665
give him five dollars and a bag of pretzels and ask him if this shit was worth it
37093
Oh goody, Zork.  It is a Grue.\nYou will likely be eaten by a Grue.
229394
Just smear you drawers' handles with those big huge turds you say you proudly leave unflushed for the world to see. That'll teach him!!\n\nAnother option would be to sneak one of those turds into his sandwich.
529917
let him drink beer or wine before doing it