i am divorced with children and don't want the drama of a relationship...?
493467
just sounds like a ho to me to tell you the truth.....because a "friend with Benefits" well that is still a relationship...things could get very awkward.
771498
I always made it a point & habbit of never dating anyone who had kids just because I didnt want to deal with the "baby moma drama" but being a divorce single mother of 4 some would say I have my nerve. \n\nThe children are speaking through there mothers immaturity, jeolousy and hatred for you and unfortunately you can not control it. I suggest you talk to your boyfriend about his brats if he really cares about you and your relationship he would not stand for it anyway. He needs to have a good talk with the 8itch azz ex girlfriend/baby momma. She doesnt have to like you and you dont have to like her however if her kids are going to in your house your Castle where you are suppose to be QUEEN, He needs to discipline his kids and they need to respect you and your house house including your dogs. It is his Job to discipline His kids not yours they can talk about you all they want in their own house but let it be known that when they step foot in your house if they dont have noting nice to say then they should be seen but not heard. If he can not have your back on this then he is not a man or a father and most importantly He is NOT your man.
139423
Tell the kids it is not their fault for the divorce.Just be there for them to listen.\nAs a teacher you will be surprised how many kids come to you just to vent out.\nJust listen and don't judge !
1169853
Talk to him about it when the kids are not there.   Just tell him your miserable and you have filed for a divorce.  If you haven't really had a relationship with him the last few years, it might be a blessing to him too.  Just try to be as civil as possible for the kids.  Try not to fight in front of them...but don't give them false hopes either.  Good luck, you're going to need it ,I'm afraid.
237214
You will have to go through a mediator and not the courts. If you want it to end quickly then you both have to agree on everything including custody of your children.
492877
Well, if both of you don't want to be in other relationships then its ok.  It's good that you both are looking out in the best interest of the children, but it will be harder for both of you to move on if you live together.
435355
It always seems easier when you are divorced and your not in each others face all the time.  You issue before was communication and cheating.  Communication is improved because your divorced and forced to communicate for the kids sake so you can't really say that issue is fixed.  Cheating is obviously still an issue because what he is doing with you right now is cheating on his current wife.  So I don't see that as an issue that has gone away either.  In other words just close that door and be happy that you have a decent relationship now with him.
1176361
Hopefully your ex isn't being a total B*&%$.\n\nMy kids did the same thing to their dad when we divorced. I literally had to pry them off my neck to make them go with him. I sat them down and talked to them and things got a little better. \n\nIt is hard for kids to understand mom and dad not living together anymore and the child prefers to stay at the home that is their main residence.\n\nMake sure that when you do have your child you spend plenty of quality time with them. Taking her for a day at the park and playing is free and makes for some good quality time together. Also a nine year old child usually does not place a lot of attention on fathers day like they do mothers day because they are not in school at the time to make that sweet little card or gift.\n\nTry talking to your ex and voicing your concerns to her. If you can work together for the good of the child that would be a great thing.
273233
I can give you the below link, but that's really just dipping your toe into the pond of this issue. I would check out some psychology books or divorce advice books. Either of those two types should give you a much more indepth knowledge on what this issue is all about.
1134864
Some tips that have work for me:\n\nAgree on joint custody of the kids. That way, you both can decide over the children'f future together and both of you can be involved making importatnt decisions in your kids lives.\n\nBe generous on visitation. That way the kids can have a fair share of both parents.\n\nHave an agreement with your soon-to -be ex about NOT badmouthing the other when not present, That hurts the kids. Make that solemn promise that you will not talk bad about the other one during visitation.\n\nHave a conversation with the kids, Explain what is about to happen and how much you love them and how daddy an mommy still care about each other. \n\nWhen visitation comes, try to make the transition an easy as posssible. This NO time for arguments or sour faces.\n\nRemain in friendly terms.\n\nAlways allow your ex to talk on the phone with the kids. ALWAYS.\n\nSend father day/birthday cards sign by the kids.\n\n\nCIVIL is never using the kids to get back at one another. Good for you that you are willling to do this.
959946
this is a tough one.  its hard to find your balance after a divorce.  do you think he wants you back or is he trying to maintain some kind of friendship?  i think you should just tell him.  if he severs contact with the kids then maybe thats not such a bad thing for them.  why should they have to deal with a sometimes dad who doesnt put them first?  if he is that immature then maybe they are better off.  it is hard to make decisions that may do harm on your kids especially when they are too young to truly understand.  my ex does the same thing.  i just limit the contact as much as possible.  also when he calls, you could just put one of the kids on the phone.  eventually he would get the point.  good luck.
512205
I have been through a divorce for this reason. I think if you have children and fight in front of them all the time, its best to go seperate ways so they dont have to suffer.
976514
your kids will see in time what an idiot their father is being. dont curse him infront of the kids, rant to a friend, dont give your ex the attention he's craving by bringing up this matter, ignore it and be strong for your children. your new partner will have his own feelings about this matter, if he wishes to talk about it then get it out in the open, but avoid talking about this with the kids.
767424
That is just an excuse.  A good parent will see thier children regardless of the reasons for the divorce.  It is just an excuse to not be responsible, which way to many parents do!  I wouldnt care if i got yelled at, called names or anything my kids are first and i would put up with whatever i had to in order to be with them!
13166
I am divorced two years now and get along with my ex for the the sake of my child. We both have put aside our differences and work together to assure our child is given the best environment possible. We talk about any decision that will affect our child and work it out. We are both good people, just not compatible together......we do it for the love our child. You have to!
191351
That just shows how grown up you both are.\nif you can get along just accept the fact and move on as for the kids they are innocent players in this thing and should not be made to suffer. yes  i have an ex who is the mother of my child and we used to fight all the time. but we moved on she has a B/F and i have met another G/F but the main point is we found someone who made us happier and i am still a big part of my one year olds life. we get along as freinds for his sake because he is not to blame for our problems. your ex needs to grow up a little and stop acting like a child himself when you have children it's time to stop acting like one and grow up.
809905
Sounds like you need space for yourself. Dump the husband since he isn't working with the reconciliation. Then give your self space. Don't let this other guy enter your life too quickly, sounds like he did just that when you were separated. When you are stable from the finalized divorce, then look at your prospects.