How do I establish a close relationship with my emotionally distant father?
492132
problem is him. Don't push it. Relationship is about trust. Letting him get to trust you little by little, in the little things then it will grow. Also just be yourself so he can trust the you he sees. Lastly, not everybody gets to say 'I love U' the same way. Maybe his may be different
1144154
It is very hard, I lost my dad in 1977 and my mom in 1991. It hurts for a long time, you have this gap in your life that can never be replaced. In situations or gatherings of friends, it is rough at the beginning, especially when friends still have their parents. If you become uncomfortable with your friends, take a breathier and find something that will keep your mind off of losing a parent. Your love for your parents will always be in your heart. Remember those special memories you have of your parents, and hold onto those memories forever. That is what keeps you going. You will still think of them for years to come, on their birthdays, holidays, and family gatherings. Little things bring reminders of what your parents had done in that situation, and you find yourself doing what they had done. Take care and I hope I helped you a little.
1139373
I cant help you on where to start but I think its good that you want to find your real dad. Since its on your mind you will be a lot more comfortable once you have achieved this.\n\nAs far as will it upset your real dad, this is only if you know how he feels about it. Have you spoken to him about it in the past? IS he aware of how your feeling right now? Sure it could upset him, afterall he has brought you up and even though he may not be your real dad, for him it will feel like he is and rightly so...\n\nbe cautious with how you do it.... if you dont find your real dad, you dont want permanent scars with your current dad because of your quest.\n\ngood luck with it!
212313
i'm so sorry about your father...all i can say is: be patient with him , give all the love and care you can give him, talk with your father about everything, spend as much time with him as you can\nas for you...take it one day at a time...dont think of his going away...focus on the things you could do for your father while he is still alive...surrender your grief to the Lord\nGod bless you, friend...
43759
the person closest 2 u that u believe is special enough 2 do it for your father. Gender doesnt matter
900851
I know what it is to lose a parent whom you love and who loved you.  My father has been gone for 12 years and still I think of him.  We were very close when he died.  I took care of him in his last few years.  He suffered from cancer and it was terrible and I hurt for him everyday.  You never get over the loss of a loved one.  You can only try to live with the loss and only time will heal the hurt and the loneliness death brings.  The thing to always remember is the good times you enjoyed with your father whenever the hurt returns and you begin to really miss him.  Also, if he was a Christian as my father was, know that he is with God and his suffereing is over.  He is in the best place possible and I know I want to be there with my father and I am sure you want the same thing.  Pray to God to heal you of your hurt and bring to your remembrance all the good times you and your father had whenever you begin to miss him and the hurt returns.  Believe me....it will help more than you think.
493382
If it's best to avoid any more emotional entanglement, you are gonna have to play it cool.  Be polite, very polite.  Most people recognize that means there are barriers.\n\nBest solution:  find yourself another guy.  Learn to appreciate that he your baby's daddy... and that is all.
1149933
You can't get your dad and his mom to forget their differences.  Some things are out of your control, including how other people act.  OK, that's not totally true, but you've probably done what you can do already by this time.\n\nIf your relationship worth it even if you have to accept how your dad reacts and everything else?\n\nMaybe you need to put this on the backburner too - not make any decisions yet, but be a little lighter about it and let your boyfriend come to you more.  You might find that changes the dynamics a little and shifts the power you have in your relationship and in your life as a whole.  If the relationship has it's own strength it can withstand some time of uncertainty (just don't do anything stupid - be patient and trust that if it is meant to happen, it will).  Do some things that are fun for you and help you remember your own strengths and how you care for yourself.\n\nAre there other problems between you and your boyfriend that aren't about your parents?  Sometimes factors like parents can be a big distraction that lets you avoid being fully honest with each other.
1062034
I definitely think you should try, no matter how well you feel around her.  She is still your family, even though you are not blood related.  I'm sure your father would be very happy if you could connect with her.  Respect to parents and family no matter how close you are is a very important thing in life, well it definitely is in my culture.
419187
sometimes it seeems worse then it is, have yout tried talking to your father about it, maybe there is a school counsellor that can offer advice if you dont have extended family to go to. if you live with your mum then you probably dont have to see much of your dads girlfriend.
1154144
You know you and I are in the boat, but it's my mother who's in my way. I wish she could feel more secure, so I could have more freedom; especially the chance to go abroad. I think your father is the one who feels insecure, so he wants to be in your way. Maybe you can try to take him out with you when you're not going on a date. Hope my suggestion helps. Good luck and best wishes.
149976
Wow. That's a long time. I'm sorry for your separation. I know it must be difficult for you. My parents separated when I was a baby and I never met my real father until I was 16. In fact he never communicated with me and only kept up with my progress through his mother who my mom stayed in contact with all through the years. I wrote to him and told him I would like to get to know him and it meant so much to him. He wrote me a very touching letter that let me know he regretted not getting to see me grow up and let me know he would give anything to spend time with me. He moved within the year from his home in California back to his mother's hometown in North Carolina and we visited back and forth from my home in Virginia for the next five years until he died in a tragic house fire. I was so very, very thankful for the time I spent getting to know him and the rest of his family. I learned that I inherited many traits from that side of the family and the oddities I thought I had were simply that I was more like his side of the family than my mom's side. As we get older we all want to know about our past, our roots, our history. If you are open and honest in your communication with your son I have no doubt that he will be thankful to get to know you. It might not feel like the traditional father/son relationship, but you will have your own unique relationship as my dad and I did and I will treasure it forever. My only regret is that he did not live to see his grandchildren. Just open your heart and let him know how you feel. Good luck!
1002439
i know it may be awkward, but i have an overprotective father too and  just talk to him. do not get defensive though. you could say something like "dad i know you're worried about me, and i really appreciate you looking out for me, but i need you to trust me. i know you might be worried that i'll be pressured into doing something i don't want to or i'm not ready for and i can tell you right now that will not happen." you just really need to open up to him and more importantly, listen to what he has to say. ask him why he seems worried. if you havent already, invite the guy over to have dinner with your parents. if he has just been coming over and hasn't sat down with them, they would probably be a little suspicious. make sure he brings flowers or something to eat, parents love that!! good luck!!
207398
Hello,\nIt is very good that you are asking this question because it simply tell that you are an honest person. and the current situation is hurting you.....you know why probably you are not doing something your father wants you to do....that is only reason when parents have a complaint against their children....so analyse it seriously.....don't forget one thing that your dad loves you very much and you love your dad, I am sure about it....but one thing more I am sure about that neither you do something to tell your father that how much you love him nor your father does something to make it sure......probably it is only the ego that stops both of you to do so.....I know you both care of each other. So do one thing calm down and do something which can bring some happiness to you and your father and do something to make your father proud of you....it will resolve all your problems.....And I have one suggestion for you whatever the situation it is, always remain with your father...it will difinitely reward you....
811936
I understand your situation - grief can make you feel like this, but please don't try to communicate with your father.  At best, it is nonsense to believe that it is possible; at worst, you are liable to become unhealthily focused on this and that can lead to even greater upset.  Try to reconcile yourself to the idea that your father has gone and, if you are a religious person, have faith in the belief that you will see him again.  Grief counselling is a better idea than meddling with the supernatural.  Good luck.
353677
just bring him over, tell him to be himself.  if u act comfortable with the situation, then he will feel more comfortable.   if he realy is sweet and all that, then they will realize that too once they get to know him.\n explain how ur parents are old fashioned, and just want to know who their daughter is hanging out wiht,  its normal.\n just be yourself, let him be himself, and i'm sure your parents will be theirselves.\n maybe if u bring another friend over that day it would make the situation a little easier on you guys.\n but u have to do it.  ur gonna have to start getting used to bringing guys home.
759854
Be honest with you dad, set down and have a father to son talk. remember there are only a few moments we can treasure maybe you can make this the best trip he ever had with you and the family it may be his last of yours. It's your dad you owe it to go. at least you will have done something with him he likes to do and tell him he has to enjoy a trip the you would like to go on.