Can you critique this poem?
490010
I like the use of metaphors "Speed is a..." and the repetition as well "Speed is a.."
867909
It looks great. It all rhymes and it flows very well. You  have done a nice job. The last paragraph -- move "and" to the second line to that beam and team rhyme. Your spelling and grammar are perfect.
1110161
This is 19 lines, but it is a great poem and a fantastic oral presentation!  Good luck!\n\n \nDylan Thomas. Funny-looking chap, but chicks dug him. \nDo not go gentle into that good night,\nOld age should burn and rave at close of day; \nRage, rage against the dying of the light. \n\n\nThough wise men at their end know dark is right, \nBecause their words had forked no lightning they \nDo not go gentle into that good night. \n\n\nGood men, the last wave by, crying how bright \nTheir frail deeds might have danced in a green bay, \nRage, rage against the dying of the light. \n\n\nWild men who caught and sang the sun in flight, \nAnd learn, too late, they grieved it on its way, \nDo not go gentle into that good night. \n\n\nGrave men, near death, who see with blinding sight \nBlind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay, \nRage, rage against the dying of the light. \n\n\nAnd you, my father, there on the sad height, \nCurse, bless me now with your fierce tears, I pray. \nDo not go gentle into that good night. \nRage, rage against the dying of the light. \n\n\nDylan Thomas, 1951 or 1952 \n\n\nA Villanelle is a 19-line poem consisting of five tercets and a final quatrain on two rhymes, with the first and third lines of the first tercet repeated alternately as a refrain closing the succeeding stanzas and joined as the final couplet of the quatrain. The word is French, derived from Italian villanella, the feminine of villanello, rustic; from villano, peasant; from Vulgar Latin villanus; from Latin villa, a country house. \n\n"Addressed to the poet's father as he approached blindness and death. The relevant aspect of the relationship was Thomas's profound respect for his father's uncompromising independence of mind, now tamed by illness. In the face of strong emotion, the poet sets himself the task of mastering it in the difficult form of the villanelle. Five tercets are followed by a quatrain, with the first and last line of the stanza repeated alternately as the last line of the subsequent stanzas and gathered into a couplet at the end of the quatrain. And all this on only two rhymes. Thomas further compounds his difficulty by having each line contain 10 syllables".
767459
hey there are some errors...i think u were in hurry so never mind..well for first try its great thats what i think...i will deffinately look forward for ur next poem..
534436
Good Poem.......lots of potential! Keep it up!! Good Luck on the girlfriend too.....she's out there!!
415430
It is Nice and you have good ideas how ever work on your grammar and it is kinda choppy when reading a style that can be vary effective if used correctly how ever not vary fitting for a love poem. Keep up the hard work.
221655
Well... this is more of a lust poem, but he may like it. A woman once gave it to me, and I was flying for days!\n\nO Blush Not So! \nby John Keats \n\nO blush not so! O blush not so! \nOr I shall think you knowing; \nAnd if you smile the blushing while, \nThen maidenheads are going. \n\nThere's a blush for want, and a blush for shan't, \nAnd a blush for having done it; \nThere's a blush for thought, and a blush for nought, \nAnd a blush for just begun it. \n\nO sigh not so! O sigh not so! \nFor it sounds of Eve's sweet pippin; \nBy these loosen'd lips you have tasted the pips \nAnd fought in an amorous nipping. \n\nWill you play once more at nice-cut-core, \nFor it only will last our youth out, \nAnd we have the prime of the kissing time, \nWe have not one sweet tooth out. \n\nThere's a sigh for aye, and a sigh for nay, \nAnd a sigh for "I can't bear it!" \nO what can be done, shall we stay or run? \nO cut the sweet apple and share it!
1101460
it is actually pretty good. i like it. don't give up you should keep writing poems, i read it and i can almost feel what you felt when you wrote the poem. Good job.\n\ni write lyrics and i wish i could make them somehow a lil darker then they come out to be and you showed me that it is possible that i just need to work on it more,  your poem is great.
231805
the poem is very good!!!
488692
In all honesty it is such a lovely poem but once u get to the additional info @ 2 minutes, it is a little bit too full on. I personally am a very romantic sensitive person who also writes stuff, but it goes too deep even for someone like me at that point. Despite this if a guy wrote me that poem i would go totally mushy anyway!
570535
Not sure, but you could check out my poems on my yahoo 360 \n\nand post a comment and vote for your favourite!!\n\nOh ok..try the links below as well!!\n\nGood Luck\n\nJimmy
781428
Wonderful poem.\nDont do what you suggest though it wont have the effect you will be hoping for. My suggestion is to talk to her and tell her you wrote this poem abuot her and recite it. Good luck
548590
That was amazing. If you wrote this you have an immense amount of talent. You seem to know what you want to say and have a perfect way of putting in on a piece of paper. You should go to www.howtowritepoetry.com and enter it in their contest. I think that was a beautiful poem and you should continue writing because you have pure natural talent that i think people can relate to and are touched by because i know i was.
1170485
you seem like a good writer although I'm not the one to critique you....my speciality is poetry-free verse form.  good luck.
1133906
I wanted to help so badly, but I can't find it. I searched for about 30 minutes. I Found a great site though. It tranlates poems into English. I will tell you if I find it.  P.S. when I originally searched the poem and went to the site a poem came up but it was blurry and it was in the Greece catagory.\n\nGood Luck,\n          Chelsea\n\n\n\nI updated my comment so that I could give you the English translation to singlesockcollectors poem: here it is\n\n\n\nLeaf turns brown fall, you have just flown away yourself, branch patronizes, you want to separate yourself.  This life source, that\nformerly nourished you, Asserted, embellished, nevertheless is not dried up!  \n\nAs a burning love, in violent pushed, This velvets nectar knew to stuff you.  This tree, that has you it does?  You in has you it too given?  Of a too perfect love would have you it flooded?  \n\nThe life that climbs in him, and cannot flow itself, NEEDS this puit, where she can s’épancher itself.  The vigor of the summer,\nwhere you puisas the joy OF A delighted happiness, the abandons without you.  \n\nSmall leaf turns brown, where go you to put yourself?  Will rejoin you foam it and his cold dew?  Do not go you to take mourning, in the frozen earth, With of other feuillées, that already are\nwithered.  \n\nDauphine 30/08/2004\n\nCheck the site
368946
Excellent, the 'feeling' is there, clear and precise. That is my honest view. However, never worry what others think. Write it for yourself and someone dear to you.  Poetry is, and should be personal.  I do not wish to distract from yours, by I wrote 'Dreams' a long time ago. Just for you and not for comment:\n\nDreams.\n\nOh, dreams of youth, now gone with time,\nThe heights you said you once would climb,\nYou kept your feet set in the clay,\nNow all those hopes seem far away.\n\nYou’d be the boss within five years,\nYou kept your mouth shut, you were all ears,\nYou never noticed what was being said,\nYou sadly never turned your head.\n\nYou trusted those you should not trust,\nYou praised those, you should have cursed,\nYour thoughts and plans, you freely gave,\nYou should have stood back, and not been brave.\n\nBut where are they now, while you’re still here,\nSad and broken, they’re full of fear,\nAfraid of what will come and why,\nAfraid of what happens when they die.\n\nWhile you are happy and content,\nMortgage paid, you pay no rent,\nFinances secure, children grown,\nNothing borrowed, all your own.\n\nWhile they all worry day by day,\nYour out whenever, your golf to play,\nSo don’t be sorry, what’s done is done,\nConsider yourself, the luckiest one.\n\nFor you can hold your head up high,\nAnd when it comes for you to die,\nYou’ll stand before the Man above,\nJust tell Him, that you lived and loved.
63659
well its good that u are putting ur emotions into poetry. its good karthasis.\nthe point of the poem seems to go a little askew in terms of imagery. in one sense u seem to be talking about nobody, then u jump to falling down. the transition isnt subtle enough.\ni also think u need to work on the rhthym of your poem. it's hard to get the right mood when reading it, if u've left this major component in poetry writing out. \nhope u dont get offended, i am simply trying to offer constructive criticism. i'd would have also like to have known, the title of your poem :)