my husband is very physically abuse and controlling but i fail deeply in luv with him b4 i found out what do?
488785
Divorce him. Go to a women's shelter for battered women and get a lawyer to get you a divorce. Dont stay with an abusive man he will never change and may one day kill you.
335244
Get out while you can.  If he's already controlling and possessive -- it's only going to get worse.  Find yourself a better man!
563863
It is possible to hate someone because they are abusive, but at the same time retain the emotional love for them. Guys find out you feel sorry and they will really play on that to hang on.\n\nThat sounds like he is controlling and you don't have enough will power to retake control of your own life. It is a cycle of abandonment fear, love and disappointment.\n\nDon't worry, if you drop him, forget about him and find someone who appreciates you more. Most men are controlling if you allow them to be controlling. Don't let anyone make your decisions. You need a therapist to help regain your self identity an purpose in life. It's nothing to do with mental problems, it's about sorting things out with a counselor, someone older and wiser.\n\nBe prepared if he returns. Hhe needs to sort out his emotional baggage from the war and it will be a handfull for him. Some men can't deal with to much stress after battle. \n\nLet it go.
272578
my god....\nwhy dont u clearly talk to him.\nask him to stop jumping around. he isnt loving u but taking advantage of ur love just keeping u as backup for bad time of his. \nu r a person, u love him, u too get hurted. u too have value. make him realize this. have a serious talk on this.\n\nif he dont love u, then dont let him messup wth u again n again. be clear, it will hurt u but its better than being victim. tell him either he can be wth u totally loyal or just stay away from u. he is confused in his life, he dont know what love n whats value of it. good serious talk can make him undertand this, n if he is really a good person them he will value u or wont hurt u more. otherwise he is crook.\nlove is from both sides, both have to give n take. i can understand u doing him for pure love, but have value for urself. i guess u r treating him very softly n freedom, u r letting him do any thing he wants. he has to realize that u love him so he cant jump around. when its love then its wth just wth 1 person.\n\ni understand u love him, ur heart melts for him n it makes u accept him again n again though he is doing crap. u cant do it forever, talk n decide what he actually want u or anyother.  if he REALLY dont love u then bear wth some pain n keep him away. just give him a option that he come to u only when he is very serious n forever.\nkeep ur door open to him, but dont let him just taking ur advantage. be strict n let him come to u wth a condition that he wont leave u again. be strict, be lil over emotions u can accept him any time becoz u really love him, be proud of it. but be strict to value urself as person. u r not just a thing to play. be strict so it will save u from emotional n mental damage.\n\nwhen he comes to u agian, make sure he got everything clear n he is loyal, he has his mind set on u tatally then accept him.....be happy that u got ur love forever.
364409
You are not alone. You do not have to continue living with your abusive husband. He is not going to change. No matter how tearful and sincere his apologies may be, he will batter you again.\n\nYou can call the National Domestic Violence Hotline (24/7) toll free at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233). They can give you the number of your local program. The people who work for these programs are trained to help women in you situation navigate the social service and legal system. They may also have a shelter to provide you and your children with temporary housing.\n\nNo matter how much you love him you cannot fix him. You may think that if I can just love him enough it will get better. You could pour all the love in the world into him and he would still abuse you. \n\nYou can only fix you and make a better life for you and your children. When you make that call make sure he's nowhere around, like when he's at work. You need to be safe when you make that call. \n\nI'd be happy to talk with you if you want to email me. God bless you and your children.
546282
We set our own limitations enough, so why let an abusive ass hole bring you down more.  Move on sweetie, you can be strong.  Your self-esteem is low, and that's the only reason you feel that you love him; you might love him, yes, but question is, are you in love with him?  I doubt that very much considering what he has put you through. \n\nThe sky is the limit, for everyone.  Remember that.  Let go of the past.  Dwelling on it only sets limitations for the future.  You have three beautiful daughters, three reflections of you; how wonderful is that?  Find yourself, for their sake, and ultimately for your own.  You can do it.  Pray to God to give you strength, he won't let you walk through this alley alone. God Bless.
788470
Tippy, the only way you are going to be able to deal with this is to forget it.  When you start remembering, stop.  Imagine something brings a smile to your face.  It's not wrong to stay with a man that you love, even if he's cheated.  But honey, it's your mental health that is taking the punishment.  You are going to have to forgive and forget to make it.  It's not easy and it's not going to happen over night.  I am sorry, your heart breaking is got to stop before it completly breaks.  \n\nDoes your husband help you?  What I mean has he ask for forgiveness?  Does he show you emotional support?  Honey, you need for him to help you with this.  Believe it or not, you need him to help heal from this wound.  He needs to be more loving, and shows that he cares that he hurt you.  If he's just blowing it off, like it happen-get over it-then you may never be able to fully forgive him and stop the tears.  He's the kleenex, he's the one that needs to wipe them away with his love.  \n\nHoney, you must remove the images, clean out all the thoughts of them together.  You are grieving in a sense, you have been betrayed, and it's like part of you has died.  It hurts, and it's so hard, but it can be done.  If you want to save your marriage, you are going to have too!  Your husband may have be so wrong, but now it's your turn to make sure you don't make it worse.  If you feel the tears coming on-focus on something else. Anything, but that.  When you start, or catch yourself thinking remember this...it's in the past and today's a new day, each day it will get less and less.  Your husband has got to do his part sweetie.  You can't make a marriage by yourself,  No matter how much you love him, unless you are going to be a silent wife, and just let him do what he wants when he wants.  You deserve so much more than that.  You deserve to be loved and respected, it's your choice your decision rather to forgive, and if this is what you want to do, you must not dwell on it any longer.  Kick yourself in the butt, if you have too.  I am so very sorry, no one should have their heart broken like this, but you aren't alone, and many marriages have become stronger from living thru what you are going through right now.  So, please dry those tears, take a deep breath, and remember it's all your choice how you deal with it.\nPraying that your heart mends, and the memories are forgotten, and that you have the strength to know you are worth true love and respect from the one you GAVE your heart to.  \n\nGod bless us all............
594152
Hunni, find your nearest womens shelter, they will take you in and advise you as what you do next.  Get the hell out now, please do not cave in when he tells you that he loves you and that he will change.  they never do.  Please just go get some help.  These women are very supportive and will protect you, until you can get a court order and hopefully get the hell away from him for good.\n\nGood luck sweetie..and Big hugs
1056700
My first question is , if you felt you could Never trust him 100% why did you marry this man? Was it convenience? Get out, tell him its over your moving on blah blah blah.. I know its not that easy, trust me I know.. You know the old saying "been there, done that". Right now he's abusing your relationship, playing on your emotions, he knows how to get at you. Don't allow him, stand your ground. Your not happy there is no reason to continue this with him. Ask your friends for help or family.If that's not possible look into your local women's help shelter, there is help out there to get out of situations like this. If your unhappy there is NO reason to stay Hun.
916720
Sweetie, just because he isn't physically abusing you doesn't mean he's not still abusing you.  He's traded in the fists for emotional abuse.  That's what he's doing when he tells you he hates you and other hurtful things.  You need to get out of that relationship as soon as you can.  get yourself into some counseling so you understand why you chose to be with an abuser, and move on.  I understand completely where you're coming from, I've been there.  Since I've gone to counseling and stuff, I've come to understand myself so much better.  You will, too.  When you do, it will help you choose a different type of guy.....one that won't abuse you.  I've finally found my Mr. Right, and you will, too.  You just need to get out of this relationship.  Email me if you want to talk some more.  I'm a good listener :)
1059884
1) check yourself and your husband (I am assuming you are married). Do either of you have the same problems? Can you please answer us...\n2) There was a great audio tape by Dr Dobson "Dare to Discipline". http://www.family.org
1040285
sure - just step away from it  - mentally get yourself involved with other things and then try and get a different perspective on it .\nIf there is physical abuse then (if your able, get out fast) but if it's emotional even cheating - go for outside help
946321
You will fix this situation as soon as you stop living with it. Disassociate yourself from your husband and his perv son, you will NEVER understand what he does and why he does it. The only thing you have control of is your life! It is time to focus on what you are doing! You are who you want to be, don't let anyone else change that! Good Luck!
803721
Get rid, I don't think anybody should be controlled. Find somebody who loves you and is genuine. Just because he is sweet it does not mean he can't be nasty. He's shown his true colours. No women deserves to be manipulated and grounded. Good Luck
290732
Having a physically abusing wife is serious and dangerous not to mention demeaning to you.  While it may not be reported often, because of the stigmatism associated with a man being beat by a woman, it doesn't mean that its not as serious.  \n\nDomestic violence of any kind is very serious, and there are support groups, shelters, and counselors that can help you.  \n\nPlease seek a family counselor to help you get over your physically abusive wife.  You will either help her to stop abusing you, or you will need to leave the marriage for your safety and protection.\n\nPlease call a counselor, speak to your religious leader, or go to a support group in your area.  \n\nDo not ignore this or try to handle it alone.  You should talk to someone about this.  \n\nPraying for your safety and peace.\n\n:o)
640624
You need to leave, NOW!  He is going to blow at one point and if he doesn't kill you, or someone else, he is going to hurt you bad!  If he has ever hit you, he will again...and harder!  He is already verbally abusing you, mental abuse, and is probably making you feel worse and worse about yourself.  You need to get out before he totally ruins you.  You CANNOT change him.  He has to make that choice himself and seek the help.  You have done all you can do and he has refused counseling.  Tell him that if you are ever to come back, he will need to go to anger management and/or counseling.  You can only blame your childhood for so long until you have to take responsibility...it is time he takes responsibility for his own actions.  Good luck, and please get out before it is too late.  Three women in America are killed each day by their partners, don't be one of them!
605296
This is one of those things that is easier said than done, but if you value your future, and your relationships with other friends & family, you should leave him. You don't deserve to be treated like that. And he is not going to stop being jealous or overly possessive of you. If you want a good example, just talk to your local Women's Battered Shelter, and you will see all the reasons you could possibly need to realize he will not ever be any good for you. Whether its mental, emotionally, sexually, or physically abusive behavior... it usually doesn't get better. Stop it now. There are so many wonderful and sincerely loving people out there who will help bring out the best in you, than to waste your life with a control freak and cause you more problems in life.