My boyfriend is emotionally abusive. Will the honeymoon period be longer and better when his abuse escalates?
475891
Well he is stepping up the control and the abuse. Almost like testing the waters so to speak. He seeing how much he can get away with. He may have realized he took it too far, and my regret his actions. Unless he gets help he is not going to change.  You will change though.  Each time he abuses you he is taking apart of your soul. You won't even realize it. Before you realize your entire life will be based on his reactions. The cycle of abuse is hard to stop. The only thing you can do at this point is get out while you still can.
925206
I have been in an abusive ( all 3, primarily emotional and verbal) relationship for almost 13 years now, married for 8. I think what initially keeps you in an abusive relationship is that although you know that something doesn't feel quite right, you don't really look at it as abuse. Then when you know what it is, you are in denial and you make excuses for the person because you love them. You then think that your love can change them or that if you change that they will change. Sometimes you stay because you're scared to do everything on your own or because you have children. You want everyone to think that you have the perfect family and life. You then realize that the problem is within that person and there's not anything that you can do to change them. That's where I am now and I am currently being proactive with my exit plan. I hope this helps. lots of love, V.
1149976
Sounds like he's doing drugs.\nIf he has been physically abusive it is time to get out no matter how much you think you love the guy.\nThere is someone else that will treat you better.
219475
Slow down and take it easy..to soon for something that is serious enough that might lead to marriage. You just came out of one relationship that was abusive please don;t get caught in that web again...Lady
293689
Try getting some couple's counseling.  Staying together or breaking up is a decision that you need to make for yourself, but there are things you can take into consideration.  \nFirst, what is he saying?  If he is just yelling for the sake of getting his anger out, that's probably okay.  But, if he is insulting you or threatening you, that's not okay.  That's verbal abuse and it can be really hard on you in the long run.\nSecondly, do you feel threatened?  You can trust your instincts here.  If you are scared of him, get out.  If you aren't really all that scared when he yells, things will probably be okay with counseling or just talking to him about it.\nAnd finally, does he have a history of violent behavior?  If he is more violent, say, with brothers or friends, or if he condones violence he is more apt to become violent with you in the future, even if he has never touched you before.  Physical abuse can come about so gradually that you may not even realize that's what's happening to you.
293672
If you are afraid of him, get help and leave him. Immediately. You don't need an abusive, violent boyfriend.
640624
You need to leave, NOW!  He is going to blow at one point and if he doesn't kill you, or someone else, he is going to hurt you bad!  If he has ever hit you, he will again...and harder!  He is already verbally abusing you, mental abuse, and is probably making you feel worse and worse about yourself.  You need to get out before he totally ruins you.  You CANNOT change him.  He has to make that choice himself and seek the help.  You have done all you can do and he has refused counseling.  Tell him that if you are ever to come back, he will need to go to anger management and/or counseling.  You can only blame your childhood for so long until you have to take responsibility...it is time he takes responsibility for his own actions.  Good luck, and please get out before it is too late.  Three women in America are killed each day by their partners, don't be one of them!
333184
He is a classic abuser. He won't change. The longer you stay with this jerk the more you will get hurt physically and emotionally. You could end up imprisoned and/or dead. So dump him. If you're having trouble doing that see a therapist to help you. Remember the sooner you get rid of him the sooner you will be happy.
1029998
Baby girl I've been in your shoes and been a counselor all my life. Move on from the ex. He made the choices that brought this on himself and he needs to live with the consequences of his actions. His punching bag is gone. He needs to grow up. Your child will be better not seeing the violence and the infidelity, which is not normal behavior. If your new man is a good one go to couples counseling before you get married. You have issues from the last time that will haunt you if you don't. Please get your child into a counselor too. Kids know much more than society gives them credit for. You can contact me any time if yu need to. This is what I do for a living. Please take care of yourself and know there are people out there who don't cheat and abuse. It is hard to find them when you have been in that cycle. Good for you that you are wondering about the new guy!!! It's called cycles. Get to know and recognize them, please. I'm here if you need me. Nana
155498
Your safety is the most important thing. Alot of times the violence becomes more severe as time goes by. It's better to be alone than to be abused.If you really love this person you both could seek good counseling. Until then stay away from this person.Go to family, friends,Minister, anyone that you trust.Love is sometimes blind. No person male or female should ever put their hands on anyone out of anger.You have to love yourself more. Again your safety is the most important thing. Good luck to you.
951659
Yes you have a right to be angry.  No he will never change.  I used to have a bf of 3 yrs that did this, and no matter how many times I would tell him that bothered me he did not change.  Of course he would be good for a bit, but then he'd go right back to his same old ways.  I have had other bfs since then that do not do that.  He is more concerned about himself and what he wants to do which is not call you until he is good and ready.  Its a selfish nature that does not change in them.  I'm sorry to say this, but you have to do one of two things.  Either accept it and stop getting mad, knowing it will never change, or move on and find someone who respects you enough to keep his word.  Right now you are unsure because its a small thing, but this sort of behavior from him, is only a glimpse of what his behavior would be about the bigger things.  Good Luck to you as I know how you feel, torn.
823286
REAL BEHAVIORS SHOW UP AFTER BIG PROBLEMS COMES UP!\nIF YOU THINK YOU WANT TO LIVE WITH HIM THROUGH THICK AND THIN THEN GO!!!!!
528905
Be patient and supportive.  Nothing will take the wind out of  his sails like being nice when he is trying to be mean.  It'll make him feel like a jerk so he won't be able to stay angry if he really loves you.
1042626
It means he needs you not you needing him, your his strength. He has gotten so used to you being there and always taking his shit that he  thinks that it is OK, but it is not. Verbal abuse is just as bad as physical because no matter what happens you never forget what was said and how it was said. You may want to suggest couples therapy for the two of you. And if that don't work separate for a while and see how he can make it without you because no matter what you will be fine, because you know what the problem is and your trying to work through it.
831949
Maybe you two should seek couple's counseling.  His anger is alarming.  It could escalate into something worse.  Do yourself a favor, and try to get help for this.  He should not explode like that and say those hurtful things.
1128883
A lot has to do with your own self-esteem (how do you feel about yourself and what will you allow another person to do to you). You've been married to him for 10 yrs so something has kept you staying with him for so long (maybe love and/or kids or he's a good provider)....however sometimes people do grow apart and it's time to make a new beginning for yourself even if he's been apologizing after physically and emotionally abusing you --- you see, his inappropriate actions tell you all that you need to know...there truly is someone else out there who'll treat you better --- so improve your looks and attitude and go find him.
1075784
People who are abusive, whether it be physically, verbally, or emotionally, are number one, as a male, more likely to do this to a female.  Because they do not have the guts to go against a male.  And yes, they will come back and apologize, and then do it again, and apologize, and do it again, and apologize, and do it again, and apologize, and do it again, and apologize.  See a patten here?  People like that, depend on the kindness of others, to not go up against Them, and to demand that this type of behavior be stopped.  When You say a special friend, if You mean abusive, You are correct.  And You are not doing them any favors, by allowing this to continue.  His self esteem is real low, and chances are more likely than not, this stems back from His Childhood.  And there is also a reason in Your past, that allows this to seem like the norm.  Doesn't mean You can't try to help Him, You just have to be out of harm's way to do so.  He needs some Anger Management.  That is where I would start.  And Be Careful, this is only going to escalate, get bigger, larger, more difficult to handle, intensify, go awry.  Don't set Yourself up for a life like this.  If Your a Minor, get your Families assistance.  You have to shine light into the darkness, unless You want to be left in the dark, alone, one day, to deal with it by Yourself.  If You think that I am being overdramatic, don't do anything, let things stay the same way, and then write us back in a couple of months, if You can.  I have worked in this area, for many years, where this is almost an every day fact of life.  Some get lucky, some don't.\n\nGod Bless