Wife is not interested in sex anymore...?
483976
It sounds like having intercourse with your wife is more than just a sexual release for you. It is "the whole package" - the emotional bonding, as well as the physical response.\nStart slow. Make time for sitting together with your arm around her. Use that time to talk about what's happening in the every day events of your lives. "How do you think our kids are doing?" "How was work today?" "Are you interested in changing our routine (the foods we eat, who does the cooking, where we go for entertainment)?"\nThen discuss with her that you've been considering her recommendation, but think it would be unsatisfactory. She may be more understanding of your need for her touch.
965416
try asking her if she was being put off by something you did.. or try to arouse her interest by touching her sensual parts lightly.. or try not asking her for some time. Show more care for her even when you don't intend to have sex.. sometimes, she just feels uncared for and thus has no interest in sex \n\nTry having a romantic time out or staying home to build up sexual interest.. \n\nyou could also offer to accompany her for a doctor's appointment to show that you really care for her well-being than to just be interested in sex.
90436
Women in their 40's often to experience a drop off in their sexual drives. They are often concerned about getting pregnant at a time when they are moving on past the childbearing years and concerned that if they get pregnant there will be a high risk of genetic defects. They are also experiencing a decline in physical energy compared to their younger years. Considering these factors, the lack of interest is probably not related to the relationship so much as her own body's aging. However, intimacy is much more than what happens in the marriage bed. It is what happens through the day. Improve that, and you will inevitably improve both emotional and physical closeness.\n\nYou need to consider your wife's personality. If you are not sure, research love languages. There is a book by that title if you cannot find any onformation on the net. Basically, some people feel best loved when given things. Others feel loved best through words spoken. The third type feel most loved by spending time with them. The last type feels loved through gifts of service.\n\nFor my type of personality and age (I am 42), a racy sex toy would not be a turn on. I would feel like the gift was a shout saying let's skip real intimacy and get to the sex part. Intimacy to me is based on an emotional relationship as first place. My love language is time. One on one time doing activities that are out of the ordinary to everyday life would draw me closer. A hand in hand walk through the neighborhood, a surprise candle-lit dinner, being beside me in the work of the day around the house, etc.\n\nIf you speak the language your wife needs, I am sure intimacy will increase. As conversation allows a natural discussion of it, communicate what language you like best. It will make her feel good to be filling your emotional love needs too.
629259
Is your wife under more stress than normal? As far as not knowing what your wife wants, ask her. I'm sure she'd be happy to let you know.
123195
Go with the signs. She's happy and willing. That means she stills loves your attention and prefers it. Perhaps she's adjusting to having children, adopted or not it's time and energy draining. Just work with her and be the captain of your sexual ship for the time being. Be there for her and make it interesting. Also remember: people change after a period. of time. And the introduction of children or a child definitely messes with your "couple" dynamics. Go wit the flow. She'll come around. Give her time. Marriage is ALL about give n take, ups and downs. Work through it...she'll appreciate it and love you for it.
1098760
Maybe she is having a low sex drive right now and do you spice things up in the bedroom and make things exciting for her???? Talk to her and see why she feels this way and also suggest to her maybe seeing a doctor or sex therapist. She could be having affairs too!
527232
Wow!  That's a tough spot to be in.  Now, you're probably not going to like what I have to say but I wouldn't be doing you any favors if I sugar-coated it so here goes:  \n\nI would suggest you take her to a sexual health therapist.  A good therapist will have special training to help her through this.  You wife has nothing to be ashamed of and nothing to be embarassed about.  Pain during sex is very common and a good therapist will help her work out just how much of this is psychological and how much is actually physical.  \n\nIf I were you, I wouldn't even sort of suggest that it's "all in your head" to her but, well, you probably already knew that, right?\n\nGood Luck!
1094682
The sex online will get old pretty fast. You need to try and work on what's real.....your wife and mother of your children. Maybe she doesn't like sex because you don't approach her the right way. Begging is such turn-off...try some real passion. If you give some true effort and things still aren't working than leave! Nothing is worse for children than growing up in a loveless home.
848384
She has moved on with her life.  It is time for you to do the same.  She is clearly not interested in a relationship or trying to patch things up.
859786
alot of women lose interest in sex, it's completely normal, and there are prescriptions for that. a friend of mine uses a cream her doctor gave her, and she swears that she is always interested in sex since using the meds. maybe you could suggest other things though, like toys and such. \n\nbest thing is to try to arouse her without being obvious. when sitting on the couch together, start by rubbing her feet, then her calves non-chalantly working up to her inner thighs, and then just stop so she doesn't automatically think that's what's on your mind. massaging the inner thighs usually does the trick
527025
Husbands do want sex after 10 years.  If one doesnt there might be several reasons, he could have lost interest due to falling out of love, weight gain, health problems, etc...  You first need to find out the real problem before you can start to fix this one.  The only reason he shouldnt want sex is if hes 90.
1180975
If your sex drive is higher than that of your wife.. perhaps you should seek out marital counseling or sex counseling.  There may be reasons behind the differing drives.\n\nIf she is not "freaky" enough for you, that could also be addressed in counseling.\n\nHowever, I don't believe you have earned the right to get some on the side... that comes with work.  Paperwork.  *divorce*\n\nI'm very sorry that you have gotten to the point in your life that you would ruin someone else's just to get off.  That is one of the most selfish things I have heard in quite some time.\n\nIf you don't believe it would hurt her, start a thread on people's opinions on those who cheat.. you'll get even more angry responses than you did in this one.\n\nIf you honestly cannot get enough sex, masturbate.
541256
I think some people get to a point in a relationship that they aren't worried about sex, they're close enough without having so much of that type of bonding. That's one possibility.\nAnother could be, sorry if I hurt your feelings, that she isn't attracted to you anymore, or she could be tired of the "same ol' thing". Do you guys spice it up in bed, or is it the same old missionary position. \nMy boyfriend and I had this problem, we brought toys in the bedroom, and its never been as good as it is now.\nJust ask her, I can keep giving o you ideas about what could be wrong, but I don't know what going on in her head, and I'm only getting one side of the story. Just talk to her, if you know or have a feeling that it might be she tired of the same thing, ask her about trying some new things
555755
Stop pressuring her and make her feel loved and safe.  Try some foreplay.  \n\nMost antidepressants decrease the sex drive so there isn't much more you can do.  See if she can switch to one that has low sexual side effects.
203463
I would suggest that you talk her into seeing a Dr.; it could be her hormones, post pregnancy, etc.  There are medications that could possibly help, or she may just need to talk with a professional.  Please just be there for her, be supportive, and be patient.  As an older woman, I speak from experience here.......many times, a younger woman won't have as high of a sex drive, as she will later in life.  Stress can also play into how a woman feels sexually.  We have lots to do, and there is never enough time to get it all done in, so she may simply be too tired to enjoy sex.  You might try giving her a massage, give her a nice, long foot rub, run her a bubble bath, etc., with the sole intention  of relaxing her.  Don't make sex the main focus though, or it could backfire.  Just let her know that you want to help her relax.  It might also be helpful to just sit and talk with her, let her open up if she can, and support her the best way that you can.  I hope it all works out for both of you........good luck!!
656106
It sounds like you didn't do anything wrong at all. Obviously the picture you give may differ slightly from hers, but it sounds as if you have been caring and respectful to her and that you have been patient. I don't agree with the previous answer that you hsould break up. You have invested a lot of time and love in your marriage and family and it would be sad to throw it away. If she genuinely just has no interest in being intimate it may be a purely medical problem, like a hormone imbalance that is causing it. (http://www.womentowomen.com/SYMlossofdesire.asp) If she could consider seeing a doctor about it, they might be able to help. If she is reluctant to do this, and it seems she might be, then it is a difficult situation. \nYou say she 'gives in to sex', that doesn't sound particularly pleasant for either of you. Perhaps, you could try just taking the pressure right off, try and spend time together, maybe get away just the two of you. Enjoy each others company, and go only as far as she is comfortable, holding hands, whatever that is. Take it super slow, and see how she reacts. \nI know it isn't the best answer, but I hope you work it out.
554681
No way!... if you don't like sex with her why don't you teach her how you like it?  You made a commitment to your marriage, you can make it what every you want it to be. What you are saying is just an excuse.  I am sure there was a time that you found her a turn on. Well find it again, and if there is things you like then introduce her to it. Talk to her, be open with her. Seek counseling, it really helps!   There is no better turn-on than the ability to do what ever with the person you really love...