Help! My Dad doesn't care about me at all, and I am having trouble getting over this!?
479442
Hey, my dad did the same thing!!  Some guys are afraid of being a parent so instead of stepping up to the plate they run away from it.  My sister has had trouble with trusting guys and often dates the wrong ones because we have no positive role models, but you have to realize that you are a wonderful person and you don't need someone else to tell you that.  \n\nFamily isn't always blood; it can be your friends, anyone you care about.  If you are feeling inadequate, maybe you could do some volunteering, help out at Big Brother/Big Sister's, or volunteer at an animal shelter.  The best cure for loneliness is to help others who are lonely too, you'll find the right guy when you are meant to find him.  When the right guy comes along, it will be worth the wait.
1156247
have you ever tell you dad how you felt about his attitude?\nhave your mum ever spoke to you of how she felt about the situation?\nyou know,i advise that you'd better see a counselor .Pour our your feelings to the counselor.He/she will be able to help you cope with the current situation you' re facing.\nI know your family must have meant a lot to you.And I suppose you're a growing up child.I agree the current situation affects your life and you other family members but please remember one thing do not let those things to pollute your mind or affect your studies.\nMost importantly get a professional help.\ncheer up ok.I wish you all the best.
712046
talk to your dad about it, tell him how it's made you feel and find out his reasoning for it all. \nMaybe you can work something out and see about getting your dogs back.\nRemember when talking to him be calm and rational, going into hysterics won't help anything.
1064126
I understand your problem and I think that no matter how much you talk to him thing are not going to change unless he wants too do it all on his own.  And since moving out isn't an option at the moment I suggest you find something to do with your time other than staying at home.  Like finding a job or going to school (assuming your not doing it already)  Going to the library or donating your time to charities.  Something you enjoy.  I know you love your family but YOU are 20 and you need to start making a life of your own Maybe when he sees what your doing he'll start appreciating you better.  As for your real dad start writing to him get that job and save up to go visit.  Where there is a will there is a way.  Good luck at what ever you do.
1047370
First, I`m sorry about your Dad. Second Please don`t automatically be mad at him without giving him a chance to explain his side of the story. And be opened minded. I think (even for myself), that the best way to break the ice and tell someone how you feel is to write a letter. A letter avoids conflict and gets their full attention. That way if he wants you in his life now he`ll get ahold of you. If he doesn`t write back you`ll know. Do Not write an angry letter, that will just chase him away. Just write your feelings in a cassual way. Don`t put any pressure on him. The idea is to get him to except you into his life again. What happened doesn`t matter now.  May God help and Bless your relationship with him.
855756
Wow...I'm so sorry that your father is acting this way towards you. Since your an adult now, you have a choice to make. Cursing him out, no matter how satisfying that may be, really isn't going to help out your situation. If anything, all it will do, in his little brain,is prove him right. Hopefully your not living with him still. Because you need to on your own if at all possible, to put some distance between the both of you. It's so unfortunate that as someones child, YOU have to act as the 'mature-responsible-adult'. You have to be the one to set the example that his behavior is unacceptable, and your not going to stoop to his very lowly level and reflect what he is doing to you. He sounds like a very bitter man, and again I feel for you and your situation. If your able to find a good counselor to talk to, that may be of great benefit to you to help you work through this crap that he's dumped on you so that you do not feel as though it's your fault or that you deserve to be treated this way. The way a father treats his daughter, will greatly and directly effect the men she chooses to have in her life. I hope you know that you deserve better treatment from men, and that even through all this you still have a choice to make. Man, if I could just have 5 minutes with jerks like that....
841412
It will pass. Your father is letting his feelings out on you for whatever reason. As bad as it hurts you can not take it personally and you need to focus on YOU and what you want out of life.\n\nHe loves you he just does not know how to show it.\n\nTwo days before my father dies he told me that he always loved me. I knew it deep down.
787651
Ask your dad what was the problem and why he didn't see you maybe this had a lot to do with your mum and her grievances.\nWhen a family break down it is very hard for either party to admit the wrong.\nDon't Fight.\nDon't Argue \nJust find out the reasons.
354089
You do have a void in your life. You miss the parents you wish you had. My father passed away more than twenty years go when i was a little girl and i still am having a hard time with it. I don't remember conversations and never got to know him. I miss what i could of had. There is no real getting over it. It's more of accepting the way things are. I know i can't bring him back and it sucks. One thing i read recently i wish i could remember where. The article was about making a patch work quilt in your mind with the people in your life that have the qualities that you would want in a mother or father. Say you have a friend who is really good at listening, that can be a piece of what a mom is to you. Someone else in your life who encourages you is another part of what a mom is to you and slowly you piece together a mother. Instead of getting all of a mom in one person many people end up fill the void that is empty. It will never be the same as the real thing but that is where acceptance is a huge part of learning to cope. You will always miss them and wonder what life would be like with them. I wish i had a better answer for you. Sincerely,if during my journey in finding acceptance with my fathers death i learn something better i will let you know.
314962
I am sorry about your mom. My mom died in February too, after a very, very long illness. Dad is lost, confused, depressed, lonely, angry. Your dad may need to talk to someone. My dad feels like he can't find his place, like he does not belong anywhere. He does not plan on 'replacing' mom, now or ever even tho both my brother and I have told him it would be ok if he found someone to share his life with, even if he does not ever get married out of respect for my mom (I think I could handle him getting married again if that made him happy).\n\nI took him to the doctor last month and he wanted to be put on anti-depressants but the doctor told him that he had to deal with it, cold turkey, for at least 6 months, that it was a normal mourning process that he needed to go thru.(after 6 months he would consider giving him 'happy pills' and recommending a shrink)\n\nHe also told him that the worse loss a person can feel is when you lose a spouse, a child and a parent -- in that order. I hope your dad starts feeling better soon and that, if this new lady in his life is not right for him, he realizes it soon.\n\nPlease be patient with his anger fits, he may not know how to handle what he is feeling. Let him know that you love him and are there for him. Its all you can really do at this point. I feel your pain more than you know. Good luck!
384109
I'm sorry you lost your father in such a tragic way. You never get over it, you just learn how to deal with it. I would go to a bereavement therapist or I would join a bereavement group in your area. It sounds like you have a lot of pain and you really need to vent instead of holding it all inside. May God bless you and may you find comfort in this hard time. Don't feel because it was 16 years ago, that you shouldn't grieve.
322900
Well, life has it's tough roads. But the man upstairs will always guide you. You may feel lost and all alone, BUT YOU ARE NOT! As for the girl, GOOD RIDDENS! Remember, IT IS HER LOSS!!! NOT YOURS! Contact your lung associtionabout support groups in your area. As for the funeral, there was a reason you were kept from attending Only god knows the reason. If it really bothers you, write a nice letter to your dad telling him how you feel about missing the funeral. Then fold it up, Place it in an envelope and put away for safe keeping. Everytime you feel bad about dad, Pull out the letter and read it! DON'T GIVE UP!! keep going with school... Everything else will fall into place.
725794
It is not that he doesn't want to be with you and your sis.... Sometimes adults act very stupidly and selfishly.  I am so sorry that you have to experience this.  I went through this myself when I was younger.  Try talking to your dad and tell him that you want more alone time with just him and your sis.  He probably won't do it because the step mom might get offended and mad at him.  But you can always try.  Please remember that it has nothing to do with you..  He loves you but just acts dumb sometimes because he is afraid of her.  Good luck sweetie!
1007059
How are you?  OK.  I am 20 years as well, and I was forced to "grow up" at a pretty young age myself.  I had the same relationship with my father.  He passed away two years ago when I was 18, and I am glad that I had cleared everything up with him before I did lose him so quickly.\n\nI always recieved awesome grades and never, ever, got into any trouble.  I captained my Varsity Golf and Baseball teams, was the sports editor for the school paper, I was a great son; yet we were always fighting.  Finally one day, I sat down and wrote him an email(I knew that if I tried talking it would go nowhere).  I explained to him exactly how I felt.  I asked him to listen to "perfect" by simple plan becuase that summed it up about as close as possible.  \n\nThe next day I recieved the longest email ever, and he explained why he was so hard on me.  He said that one day I would understand and that he wanted me to live a better life than he did.  \n\nTwo years ago, I finally understood everything.  When he died I took on a lot of responsiblity within the family, and I was strong enough to do so becuase of the way he treated me.  He did love me, he was just preparing me.  \n\nSo sit down with him, or write him an email.  Whatever you have do to to deal with it, do it.  I think it will help.  I still read the email he sent me periodically, and the words make so much more sense.  We had a great two months before he suddenly passed away, and I am so glad that I did what I did.  --Joe
864051
Dear Jessica,\nI'm sorry.  \n\nPray about the broken relationship and be patient with your dad.\nFor the time being just send holiday cards or Thinking About You cards and don't expect anything for the time being.\n\nWhen something your son does reminds you of your dad, write a note and tell him about it.  Send a picture.  Be genuine.  Love him.\n\nAbove all draw near to your heavenly Father who loves you, your husband, your son and your dad.
400937
depending on how old u r and even still lol no matter how old u r ur dad cares and no one is good enough for his little girl....u seem pretty close though so sit him down and tell him that u r growing up and he has taught u to be sensible and u wont do anything silly...as much as he tries to be a mate to u he still has his daddy instincts to him it was only the other day u were running round in nappies and running to him when u fell over ...its kinda hard for him to accept that he cant catch u when u fall and he cant always just kiss the wound better and put a plaster on it...its totally different he has to adapt as well u just have to persuade him that he has brought u up to be sensible and responsible and u will not do anything till u r ready......take it easy on him even if it is hard on u he is learning to and it is pretty heart breaking to know his little girl is growing up lol but he still has to learn and ur the only one to teach him despite his tantrums....lol do u feel older than him yet??because now ur the teacher??
417180
I am engaged also, and I don't talk to my father either. I have thought about asking my brother to walk with me, my mom past away a few years ago so that's not an option. Although I think it would be really nice to just walk alone, then all the attention will be on you and no one will even care about your dad not being there. Most people don't walk with their fathers these days\n-----As for the first guy who answered you by telling you to apolgize, tell him to go fuck himself he doesnt even know why you dont get along with your dad. Why should you go apologize????