help..my future mother-in-law is a NIGHTMARE?
477430
I think his mother is scheming to pretend to disown him to find out whether you're a gold digger should you leave him (after he's "disowned"), then she'll have a point to prove to her son to justify why she doesn't like you and thinks you're wrong for her son and that you're only after the money. Women can be canniving like that. I mean, other than that, I don't know why else she would want to disown her only son unless she wants all the money to herself - which proves she's not a very good mother. So this means if I were you, I wouldn't give a rat's @$$ about her because this is really showing her true colors. Don't let someone like that ruin your happiness. If you know deep in your heart that you love your fiance and that you are definitely not going after the money, you two should go on with the wedding and be happy together. If you ask me, this will anger the mom even more and THAT is satisfying! :)
400055
She can't do without your permmision, you have the  controlling vote in this matter. She could do some major psychological damage to your child, which is abuse,  which makes her a perpetrator against minors. Get her some counselling, get some legal advice for yourself, or ask her to leave. All in all think of this baby boy who is innocent in this and looks upon you both as his life support. good luck and God bless you both, we'll be praying for you.
604653
Definitely keep open communication between you always. Talk about things. \nBut I suggest that you have a talk with your mother-in-law-to-be. Ask her for some suggestions. She not only has experience being married, but she knows your future husband.
1037857
Wow,,, that does sound pretty disgusting the way you worded it.  It often appears that the mother in law and daughter always seem to have competition going on.  I am not really sure why and it getting rather old.  You and this quy have been together 20 plus years and there is still tension between the 2 women he so obviously adores.  Being a woman you know how to add fuel to the fire or put out the flames...Try taking the higher road and leave it be.  I have another tool you could use as well... It is called PRAYER... the most powerful tool out here.  God sees all that is going on and He knows how you feel about it.  He also knows how your husband feels as well.  Can you imagine how excited he will be to see his 2 favorite girls interacting without foolishness.  Pray about it and leave it be...
652225
I FEEL SO BAD! Where's the time for you? I didn't see anything for you at all. I didn't see any counseling for yourself. My fiancee has ADHD also and I know how that part of what you're going through. We're not married yet, but it's taken quite a bit to get his mom to finally accept our relationship but, your mothers treatment is UNACCEPTABLE! You ever watch the Nanny on tv? She says a childs behavior is UNACCEPTABLE quite a bit. She's not a child (which would be more Acceptable) she should be showing you more respect. You can only do what you can handle. You're first priority is to yourself and your immediate family. Meaning you, your children and your spouse. Your husband needs to stand up to the plate. (as my fiancee finally did) He needs to back you when it comes to his mother. His first priority is with you and your children. He also needs to be helping you with the children and around the house as much as possible. Even though he doesn't work, you two need to have a night out once-in-awhile by yourselves. Maybe, you can talk to your mother-in-law about a limit of times to help her and she in return watches the children for you night out. By this I mean EQUAL TIME. As far as the bills, reality isn't that your mother-in-law is going to pay the bills. First off, I don't see if you're living with your mother-in-law but, if you are that's going to be a majority of the problem. Which getting your own place would be greatly advised. There are places that can help with deposits and financial resources. In all, it makes me believe you are living with your mother-in-law and that's going to be a very hard and stressful situation. My advise is to move. Your husband may be ADHD (so is my fiancee) but, he still needs to know he is to be responsible. Write down what he needs to do and try to involve the children in all the chores. Watch "The Nanny." Or go online if you can't get that show in. She helps not only the children but, the relationship with the parents towards how to keep everything together. You're not a work horse and no one should treat you according. Good Luck!
500875
Your fine. Many get married much younger...and have babies. She is afraid of losing you. Afraid that you will suddenly disappear. It is called empty nest syndrone. Its common really. I imagine I'll get it too when my babies are ready to leave home. \nJust be calm and patient with her. Try not to add fuel to the fire by screaming back at her. One of you has to be the logical thinking one and right now she is running on emotions. Talk to her as much as you can about it and ask her to help plan not only your wedding but the other life arangemets as well. Moving...etc.\nBe calm and try to be happy.\nAnd tell her you love her offten..she really needs to hear it from you right now.
812101
Sounds like shes got some deep seeded issues, marrying a man that is 4 years older then her son.  The kind of mom that secretly hopes her son will walk in while shes dressing or something... eww.  Sorry you have to deal with that, but it sounds like at least you have someone with whom to share this unfortunate experience with, namely your new sister in-law.  I'm sure the two of you will be able to help each other.  \n\nMommy dearest needs to realize that you didnt "take him away", he probably RAN... and the only person to blame is the one that stares at her from the other side of the mirror.\n\nGood luck geting that through her head though... as sad as it is, help is for those that want it, NOT those that need it.
301957
Seriously, dear, I want to first apoligize because no one should ever have to go through such a turmoil. And for being the most important day of your life, I would have been appalled. It is one of those situations where one day you might back at it and laugh, and but for the mean time me per say I would say that you should be the "bigger adult" and live on your life with your new hubby, within 10-15 years you can re-new your vows and have something even greater. As far as forgiving her I seriously would say no, and on the same note not even give her the time of day. I would more else let the time pass on until you are ready to talk to her, not on her turf, but yours. I wish you all the best of luck, and I know eventhough that you didn't get a chance to have your wedding video taped,just know that the people who were there, and you ended up being with person of love, those memories will last a lifetime!
318609
I'm planning a wedding and dealing with a mother-in-law... \n(and we're in a similar situation)\nIf you want more people to come offer to pay for them!  I konw traditionally it's the bride's family that pays for the reception and all that... but if you would really like to have a few more of your family members there then I'd say offer to pay and talk to them about it.  It's a lot to ask for an extra 25-30 people.  That can be thousands.  \n\nAlso, Your son is a man.  Let him handle it.  But if you decide to get involved don't do any passive-agressive stuff cause that can get between him and his fiancee.  I'm sure if he had a problem with it he'd speak up.\n\nMy future MIL is always blaming me when anything dealing with her son is to her disliking.  They are adults making decisions and plans together.  Speak with them about it and make sure that you view them as doing this together.\n\nAnd this is just my 'blah blah blahing' but please try to make sure that you're not expecting too much from your son's wedding.  It is his wedding and his fiancee's  wedding.
908144
Catch her putting in a camera on one of your own.  Then , send the tape to all your husband's relatives.  Once people know that others know, they usually drop their invasion of you and your life.  It's like the dirty little secret is out.\n\nNow, there is another problem here -- you are really upset and feel invaded by this.  Since your husband is so unresponsive, can you see a counselor?  You need to work out your feelings, since in the end she is still your mother-in-law and the grandmother to your child -- and will be forever, no matter if a divorce occurs, etc.  \n\nNaturally, your mother-in-law is sick and needs help.  I'm hoping other family members will realize the extent to which she is sick and will intervene.  I'm also hoping others will help your husband see reality.  As often happens, there are plenty of folks who put up with bad behavior, to the point of denying its existence, because the love and feel loyalty to that person.  It's called cooperating with the illness.  You need to walk a simple line ... without being critical and judgemental, state repeatedly that she is sick and needs help, that this is not the behavior of a rational adult, that there is free counseling through the church, etc.  What you are trying to do by this is get people to agree with you, so it's not a case of choose a side.  Instead, you are asking them to choose to help her.\n\nGood luck -- I feel for you and wish I had better advice for how to handle this.
621447
Here is arecent one.  My mother in law has been ranting and raving about throwing me a baby shower since January (Im due at the end of this month)  \n2 weeks ago she tells me that she doesnt have the money anymore and she would rather just take me to the store.  So I was dissapointed, but I had to deal with it.\nSo my sister in law ends up inviting some relatives over from my dads side of the family ( I am not even close with them, she just planned the event so that I would get some seriously needed gifts) She never met Danny's mom so she didnt even think of inviting her.  it was a small get together with under 10 people.. no big deal but a great gesture!\nSo long story short, the monster in law is not speaking to me now.  Mind you this was a surprise shower I didnt know until I walked in... not only is she not speaking to me but neither are his 2 sisters.  I could have the baby any second and I feel like this tension is not only unecessary but really hurt ful and mean. \nThere is my story!
1046118
I think that is the saddest thing I ever heard.  She is cinderella it sounds like, only with wicked in-laws instead of step mother and sisters.\n\nMy mother in law doesn't like me - and I shudder at the thought of living with her.  She has tried to interfere with what I do with my child too - but I can't give in to her on the issue of the kids.  As mother's we know what is best for our children and no one should interfere.  Unfortunately when you live under the roof of another - they feel they have a right to tell you what to do.\n\nIs it possible that they can move in with her family or find some low cost housing?  Maybe the meanness of the in-laws is the universes way to trying to get them to stand on their own - which is what we all must do when we become parents.\n\nPeace!
1160703
She hasn't grown up yet, and you have.   If you can handle her, then stick to your plan, save your money and get out of there.  \n\nShe isn't going to change.  She will always want her husband to put her and her family first.  You are getting in the way of that just by being around.   \n\nDon't stop helping and paying for your part of things, this will help you to be able to walk away later not feeling like you owe her anything.   \n\nIf you can, plan to be out of the house or sleeping as much as possible when she is going to be home.  \n\nI hope that this helps.  I understand how hard it can be.  Best of luck.
1055586
Well, I am an alien to my mother in law! I am from a different country, different culture, and the worst thing: I'm independent!!! She thinks that my husband (her little baby!!!) should control every single thinking I have...   What I do: as I can't change her, I just Play the role!!!!!! Visiting her once a week, and sometimes inviting her to go out.. Thing that she'll never do, but ok, I did my best.  As much as I can, I keep her "apart" from my relationship, as well as avoiding mixing, even when we are together!!!! Consider that my husband was living abroad and he understands my way - it's more than enough!!!!And of course, praying to Allah to keep me on the right way....
149996
Move out. Tell your hubby it is me or mommie. no one needs to exist where they are slaves to thier inlaws. I cook I clean I work my butt off sounds a lot like cinderella except there will be no prince charming to help you out.
1138406
Talk to her and give her a deadline. Tell her that she needs to move by a certain day, no exceptions! If it doesn't work, remove all of her personal belongings and deliver them to her mother. \nBy reading what you have typed, sounds like you are the type of person who gives in easily to others distress. She needs to understand that you will not take any excuses. Sometimes tough love is just what people need.\nIt is hard to advise on this because we who reply do not know the full situation.\nMaybe the person you are helping is a moocher. Maybe she's afraid to move in with her mother. Without knowing the person's age and situation, it is hard to say whether this person needs a reality check, or compassion.
21004
speak up, the mother of the child still wants that control she thinks it is her kid and shell do want she wants. there will be lots of problems but always smile to the mom and but you must put your foot down and not let her control you and him. yes they have a child together and that is it. trust me i deal with it all the time. it is not the childs fault though. but you do need to speak up not bossy just say we want the things to stay here for when she is here. and dont invite her over. your going to have to let her go from your lives and let her have her own with the child her and your boyfriend are over and it sounds like she is just trying to hold on to something?...  good luck