why is it so hard to forgive yourself for past things?
478638
I think it has something to do with an understanding that everyone has that when you do something wrong, you are required by justice to pay the price for your wrongdoing. The problem is, most of the time we can't just pay things back; life is full of crimes and mistakes that go way beyond just stealing a candy bar and then returning later to pay the storekeeper. So I think it's really hard to forgive ourselves because we don't know if or how we can fully pay the price to make up for it, and sometimes we don't even know if it's possible at all to fully pay things back. There is hope, though, and it comes with something called the Atonement of Christ. Whether or not you consider yourself a Christian and by whatever definition, the Atonement is worth researching and coming to understand. What the Atonement does is it makes up for everything that we can not do for ourselves; it pays the price of justice so that we can feel peace. So if you feel like you're having a hard time forgiving yourself for something you've done, try turning to God for help. Ask him to help you understand the Atonement so you can understand how you can forgive yourself. This was a long answer, but I mean every word of it. The Atonement works. If you try it, you'll see for yourself.
1053687
No, I think forgiveness is hard in any respect. However, the knowing that we empower forgiveness upon ourselves according to our forgiveness of others does encourage me to do so. Selfish. Perhaps.
429195
Forgiving is difficult, and doing so without regrets is even more difficult. Remember this and it may help. Forgiveness benefits you the most. It is freeing, it unbinds you from pain and sadness that was caused by whatever event you are offering forgiveness. You can never fully get on with your life if you don't allow forgiveness.
791203
You either make a decision to forget or to hold a grudge forever. She did those things in the past, and I assume has apologized and made up for it... so now the ball is in your court and it is up to you to forgive or to not forgive. You need to make a decision soon though, otherwise you'll just be in this bad-feeling state of mind. The choice to forgive is always the better one too, but I'm sure you know that.\n\nNow, how do you forgive her? You try to understand it and realize that it was in the past and that people change and make mistakes and you accept it and forgive it.
665600
I am not the world best.. but... God has forgiven you when you can forgive yourself.. and as long as  you keep doing the same thing over and over... Than you are not truly sorry about doing this thing.. God can only forgive us when we are ready to except his forgiveness.. And that is the day you truly want it and stop what it is you are doing...
975335
There's no "political sin" and nothing to be forgiven. If you 've been saying what you feel to be true, where is the fault? I will never apologize for my opinions or emotions because then I would only be a liar to both myself and the people I've compromised for. If you feel like you're going the wrong direction, just change it. Don't dwell on past actions with regret because ultimately they bring you to the point you want to be at (if you're lucky enough to find that point), and there's really no other way to get there.
50976
i'm sure it's quite possible to forgive but you will never forget especially if it was very painful or some type of betrayal,hopefully oneday i could forgive some family members of mine.
1098441
Face up to your fault in creating the baggage, learn from what you did, forgive yourself, then forgive those around you. Don't spend all of your time thinking about things that happened to you in the past. So many people define themselves by "what happened to me." Jesus f'ng Christ! Once you cross a difficult bridge, burn it behind you and move on. The guy who cheated you and stole your fortune and nearly ruined your life is not your enemy. You are your own worst enemy. Just move on. Lessons learned are like bridges burned. \n\nI have close friends who have done something called the Landmark Forum and tell me that it helped them to finally let go of the demons from their past. It is pretty intense and I'm sure some people take it too far. The message, however, seeem orthodox. Rather than take a few baby steps, this program focuses on life transformation. Might be worth looking at.
389424
There is no time when it is advantageous not to forgive...the only one that you hurt is yourself...the bitterness will eat you up.\nNo time is it ever permissible because Jesus told us to forgive...70 x 7...just for that one transgression that was committed against us.\nAnd never is it okay...because Jesus taught us a different way...we ought to know better.\nRemember....you only do damage to yourself when you do not forgive.
462112
The problem with the past is that even though it's over it's never forgotten.  Try more open communication and maybe even counseling.
317054
No. The reason why I'm here and answering this question is because I did things in my past that I regret or even hated. These things that we have been hating and want to get back at or rewind are the reasons we are who we are today. \n\nIf ever we regret the fact that we are who we are, it is the same thing as regreting what we chose before. Because if you ever wanted to undo the bad things that occured to you, there is no way to redo the good things, or even bring back the times after you changed your fate.
942826
Forgive yourself and realize you deserve better.
665146
The past must be accepted. It should never be denied. It is apart of the reason why a country is now the way it is. We should try to forgive and move ahead. But to forget is disrespectful to all who have suffered. Effects of these sufferings last for generation upon generation and unless you have felt the effects you may not understand why people today are still so hurt by past events. Its very complicated and painful. I just hope one day, we as a world of people will learn to accept, acknowledge, love each other and live in peace together. That's a big ask, but I'll never stop hoping.
705945
Everyone says that it's a healing thing. The hard part of this is learning how to forgive. I thought I had achieved the fine art of forgiving, but recently resentment, anger and bitterness has reared it's ugly head again. The one that it hurts the most is the one that harbors these feelings. I've read a couple of books on forgiveness,, but reading and actually doing the forgiving seems next to impossible for me to accomplish...........:)
844002
I tend to forgive - even the worst things that have ever been done to me because people don't realize that moving on takes forgiveness. Even when it seems impossible to forgive those who may have done horrible things to us in our lives, we should forgive them - not so much for them as for our own sanity and well-being. It takes courage but it is possible to forgive even the worst things that have happened. It helps me get some kind of closure and peace inside which holding onto things never provides. Holding on and never letting go makes everything stay ao alive - so real and so unforgettable.\n\nOf course, there are those things that I cannot forget - unfortunately... words said, things that have happened. The human mind just does not seem to forget these things no matter how hard you with it would - we remember... I remember. And that is why the forgiveness is so essential - because we remember and everytime we do, it is not healthy for feelings of hate, anger, or sadness to overwhelm us. It is living in the past and that is not good for anyone.\n\nI was never the one to hold onto things, never apologize, stay in an arguement, etc - it is just not in me. I do not cope well with any conflicts so I am the one who apologizes even when I am not the one who should.. I just can't stand tension - escpecially with those that you know you love and who love you.. I see it as so pointless and such a waste of time - I always did. And I think I forgive people too easily sometimes perhaps.. just so we can move on and so no one stays hurt any longer. I am just that kind of person. \n\nSo, I don't forget - because I can't. But - I do forgive, sometimes just for my sake - to ease my own pain and to try to let go and move on.\n\n:o)
634326
If you have had a rough past it is probably something you won't just forget.  If you have forgiven yourself, Jesus has forgiven you.  Confessing or Forgiving your sins isn't something Jesus does for you, it is something you do for Jesus.  So my advice to you is to simply open your eyes to the world.  Try to bring out the best in everything you do.  If you are reminded of your past look at it in a positive way.  It could be a good thing because you are looking at your life now, which is better than it was.  Because you were smart enough to change your life for the better.  Be happy and don't sweat the small stuff!  God bless you!
1085782
You need to deal with your demons, your past is making it impossible for you to enjoy your present. Sounds like you need therapy.