stability and secruity for your children or your own happiness??
486944
Children need love more than money.  If they know they are loved and encouraged to succeed, the material things are less important.  \n\nParents set the example for successful relationships.  If you're in a loveless marriage, there's a chance your children will have less emotionally rewarding relationships.
1047675
Sweetie, welcome to the real world. I feel like I am on lock-down as you put it b/c I am 51 years old, have had to go back to work full-time after raising my kids, just when I'd LOVE to settle down and be able to put my feet up and rest. Why? So I can afford to send said kids to college, to help with their room and board, their vehicles and insurance, to pay for our house, to have health insurance so that if something happens to me they won't have to interrupt their lives to take care of me.\n\nThey didn't ask to be born, I brought them into this world. I made a good life for them, and gave them a great start to it. All I asked in return was that they respect themselves and value themselves and try to do their best to be successful. Not for me, but for the best lives they ultimately can have. I have supported them and stood behind them the whole way. Sometimes this meant I had to discipline them & not let them do whatever they felt like b/c kids don't always know what is truly best for them. Being a good parent means that sometimes you aren't going to win any popularity contests, but at least your beloved child will still be alive and well to glare at you with hatred.LOL.\n\nAnyway, my point is, that the lockdown and bondage is a real fact of life. It is a function of taking responsibility for your own actions and it is a result of caring about more than just the present moment. If you care about the future, and you care about those who love you, it creates a real and definite responsibility that has an actual weight to it.\n\nYou can still have fun. Just don't hurt yourself or anyone who loves you doing so.
277505
Why should they?  Amazingly enough, parents would like to have a life too and shouldn't have to change their plans just to make their kids (temporarily) happy--exact same thing will come up again.
402965
I've always thought that those who are raised in wholesome caring environments where the parents are people to be admired, most likely would not rethink too seriously about adopting/sharing their parents belief systems. It seems family conflict and perceived parental flaws lead children to search for something better, something which makes sense to them and in turn assists them to create a separate identify from their parents. Although these young people would consider their childhoods less than enjoyable they in most cases make the most interesting adults. The road is long and hard and imbued with heartache but ultimately a new proud identify is formed. But even if your parents were to be admired and you see no reason to not follow their beliefs, life's hiccups come to all and through adversity we are all challenged to change and grow - if for no better reason than to cope with the current crisis. Thats life. So you are never too young to learn to re-evaluate or analyse your basic beliefs. Nobody but nobody stays static.
165761
Some of these people really don't have your best interests at heart, telling you to run away, yell, demand, cry. That doesn't get you what you want, and it doesn't help you learn how to deal with the real world, who don't really care if you're having a bad day or not. Not knowing you or your parents, I can only speak from my years of experience, raising my two kids to adulthood (with NO bloodshed!). When my teenaged daughter yelled at me, it did not make me want to give in or get all warm & fuzzy. It made me clamp down and cut her off, sending her to her room, often with a lot less than before (like being grounded for sassing). The best way to deal with parents who have clamped down on you is to find out why they are holding you back. Do they have a reason for not trusting you? Have you done something to make them clamp down on your freedom? If you're too young and you want to do things that only older kids are doing, they are trying to protect you from what could be a very bad situation. They have experience, that's what makes them know what to do. No, parents aren't perfect. We have screwed up lots of times. But, we remember what it was like to be your age, and all the feelings that go with it. That hasn't changed over the years. Feelings are still feelings, no matter how long ago we were kids. When you become a parent, you want to protect your kid from all the nasties that are out there, especially other kids who we have NO control over. We don't know what kind of morals other kids have been raised with, or even IF they have any morals. So, us parents have the tendancy to hold you kids just a little too much sometimes. Even though we know that we have to gradually give you your freedom, the process is sometimes painful for us to see, especially when we see you act in a way that brings too many memories back for us. It's like watching a train wreck. You know what's gonna happen if you don't warn someone to throw the switch on the track, but sometimes the wreck has to happen to fix a bigger problem. That's why some parents let their kids get thrown in jail, even though everything inside them wants to just hold them close and save them from harm. It's better that they learn some hard lessons before things get really bad. So, it really bites, being a parent sometimes. Try to think of what your parents have to put up with. Maybe changing places with them for a day will help you see what they have to put up with on a daily basis. It's not just off to work, then come home and put your feet up & yell at the kids for not getting their chores done. It's more than that. Many kids say they can't wait till they get to be 18 and free. Guess what? With freedom comes RESPONSIBILITY. You are then responsible for EVERYTHING you do & say. One person said it very well...enjoy being a kid for as long as you can. You're getting your eats, heats and everything else for nothing. Out in the real world, when you need a dentist, you have to pay boo-coo bucks just to pull your tooth out, let alone get a filling. Same thing for when you get sick. Just one antibiotic pill can cost over $10.00 and you'll need on the average of 10 pills to get better. And that doesn't even add in the cost of seeing the doctor, which is $60.00, where I live. What I would suggest, little one, is learn to listen a little more, learn to help a little more, and after a while they just might loosen their hold on you. When they can see that you're showing signs of growing up and taking responsibility, they'll give you more freedom. But, don't blow it by taking advantage of their trust. Once you have it, losing it would take you that much longer to get it back. Also, if you ask them how you can help a little more around the house, it would make a big impact on how they treat you in the future. When all you give them is attitude, that's all you'll get back, along with a very lim
267784
why dont you find some thing in life that makes you happy,do you have kids if so do you want them to be like you or do you want them to be happy and full of life,is this a cry for help if so find some you can talk to love love xxx
786924
I'm a complementary therapist and would certainly reccommend that the earlier, (within reason), you can have your children the better. Preferably in your twenties. I know some people disagree, but that's my opinion.\nJon C
1174893
I know this sounds horrid but believe me it never works if you just do it for the kids, I know that is not nice to hear but why should you suffer and get laughed at, thousands of kids go to day-care, and I'm sure you love your kids very much, and to be honest if you do love your kids very very much then why make yourself suffer? because did you know that if you are happy then you will have happy kids but if you are sad or angry or mad etc then you will have sad,angry, mad etc kids, basically parents feelings and behavior rubs off onto their kids so as well as thinking of your kids you need to make sure that you are happy too.
543876
I feel very sad about this as a child needs a secure environment to grow which i dont think unmarried parents can justify. i want my kids to grow in  a safe n secure family as environment surely affects a child's psychology. Children are a God given assignment to parents.Its our duty to give them all the love they deserve n i feel that only commited parents can ever justify that.So what i think is that people should get married and then only have children. its good for both kids n their parents.I had a happy childhood only coz my parents were married.It counts a lot.\n\n\nWhy do u people who answered associate marriage with bitterness n hatred that would ultimately lead to divorce??
505143
Were you afraid that your kids would forget you if you left? Or that someone else would raise them not to your liking? I can understand that, but still, if you are unhappy, your kids shouldn't see you that way.
867975
When my children were young, I was told to keep them close to me early on and they'll be confident as they grow up. Sure enough it worked. My kids could go places and be comfortable with people while they grew up as they had been very close while learning to be independant.
111628
You say you are "unhappy", what does that mean?  If there were no kids involved i'd say move on, but children are precious and deserve all you and your wife can do to resolve this.  But making your kids the reason for staying is weak, nobody wins.  Communication is the key, there had to have been a time when your wife was the best woman that happened to you right?  She still is and it's worth finding out together what changed.  And even if you still come to the same conclusion you can honestly say you tried, do THAT for the children.
973404
The thing I want the most is to stay at home with my children and raise them (which I do). Financially my hubby and I had to sacrifice not having the newest or best gadgets or clothes or car so that we can give more to our family. It is very much worth the sacrifice.
861710
Just my opinion (and I got this through 45 years of experience)... :) , but neither are more important in the scheme of things.  The MOST important thing is making yourself happy.  Because if you aren't happy, then you're social life or family life isn't going to make you happy either.  Happiness comes from within, grasshopper, not from "doing stuff" or being with others.\n\nGood luck!
24412
I believe your premise is flawed.  No one can "make" his / her child happy.\n\nA child needs leadership into adulthood where happiness is earned in a world where competition is real, people get laid off of their jobs, bad things happen to good people, and not everyone has running hot water.\n\nRead the works of Dr. John Rosemond.  He has a website.
336890
I think you are entitled to happiness, like everyone else in this world. Don't allow anyone to tell you otherwise.\n\nSimply ask yourself this question. How important is my happiness?\n\nWould you much rather live a lie to please others, or live with the freedom to choose you own path... besides you have the law on your side. (unless your a minor or already married).\n\nGood luck to you and I wish you happiness.
907971
I feel your pain, however, you should familiarize yourself with the U.S. Constitution and learn that the pursuit of happiness is a very basic presumed right. High economical status is not a requirement for multiple children. Sorry grasshopper.