Does it ever get easier being a military wife?
492915
Contact the key wives club, or family assistance programs.  Those are designed to help someone in your situation.  As for does it get easier, it'll stay the same.  Especially if he stays in for 20.  You'll know the ropes and be teaching to the other new wives then.  But it could be worse.  Join, and you'll see how much harder it is on him than you.
1107740
Yes. It gets better.  But sometimes you have to choose to make it better. You decide from the beginning that you are in this for the long haul. There are times you wish you were anywhere but here. But that is the same in any relationship. You don't get married and assume all will take care of itself. You have to work at being thoughtful of someone besides yourself. You both have to give in sometimes and shrug off things that don't really matter in the big picture. After we had been married a few years I got brave enough to ask my husband what one pet peeve he had about me that he would really like me to stop doing. Then I told him mine.  We both tried to stop doing it. Worked for a while.\nAnd now it doesn't really matter.  I love him. And he loves me. Only when we are in a bad mood does stuff really bother us and the other one knows that. So its OK. A hug fixes a lot for us. Or just some space to allow us to be in a bad mood a little.
436821
Doesn't want you too or is emphatically set against it? As an Army spouse, I can tell you that acceptance of the military lifestyle is hard enough when it is something that you chose. To have it put on you, even if your relationship lasts in the short term, in the long term there will be some serious resentment. \n\nThis should be a team decision. Before my husband elected for an indefinite term of service on his last reenlistment, we both sat down and made a list of the positives and negatives. We weighed them against each other and came to the decision together. \n\nWhile you're discussing it, there are people available to tell about the military lifestyle at www.goarmy.com
21314
I'm a military spouse and have to deal with that myself.  Of course, number one, don't fill your hours talking to or spending time alone with someone of the opposite sex.  That will make it too easy to at least have an "emotional" affair, if not slip into a physical one.  But try writing letters and e-mails to your spouse, bettering yourself while he/she is gone (working out, learning to cook, joining a club or group, volunteering, taking a second job, reading, painting, restoring furniture, taking an evening or online class, etc.).  I try to make sure my focus while my husband is away is on what I will do better when he's back - don't lose the focus on the spouse, or that will make it harder! - and on staying busy so I don't have time to just sit and miss him.  Hope this helps.
450942
If there is love and trust yes you guys can make it my brother in law was in the marines and it was hard for his girlfriend at first but they are now married and the 2 years went by fast for them.
707189
Try to contact his FRG (family readiness group). They can keep you up-to-date with what is going on with the unit. However, some units have restrictions on who can receive information, and there may be certain things they can't/won't tell you (since you are not married yet). There should be some people who you can make friends with and talk to though. If moving is an option, move near his base so that you can really be near the FRG and also be there when he  gets back. However, you cannot live on the base until you are married, and the military will not pay you an allowance to live off-base, like they would if  you were married. \n\nWhen you think you can't take it anymore, remember why you love him. It sucks when he's gone, but it will be so worth it when he gets home, trust me.
1121078
My hubby was deployed for a year and I know how hard it is.  What got me through it was getting a full time job that allowed me to take his phone calls during work hours, and sending alot of email and packages.  Just keep in mind that he will come home safely and make sure you have a good support group at home for you.  If you stay strong and supportive it will help him more than you will ever know.  Even though you aren't married you can also call the FRG (Family Readiness Group) that will be set up.  Also if at all possible try and go to see him off.  It'll be good for you to meet some of the women in the FRG and you might get to know a few you really connect with.  If you want to talk or have any questions feel free to email me and I will try to help.\nAlso, from being a military spouse for 4 years, don't worry about the deployment thing until he actually has the orders.  In the military, alot of rumors are spread around (my husband was originally suppose to go a year before he was actually deployed) so don't worry until he has the orders.  Hope this helps.
608085
That's the most difficult thing for any intelligent woman to do,believe me.It's so painful to grow up,graduate from college and then marry and have to obey your husband.\nSo I thought....\nUntil I found out that men are softer and more pliable than us.Obey and love him fully ,for just 1 year,and I can guarantee you will have a husband who respects and cherishes your opinion above all others.IT ACTUALLY WORKS!
384818
If you don't have a strong relationship to begin with, than military life makes it that much harder.  each spouse must be strong, independant and flexible.
1140033
Not only am I a Marine wife but I as in the Navy and I'm a Navy brat.  My parents both spent over 20 years in the Navy.  You do move a bit (usually every 3 years) and yea it's hard having you hubby gone.  I honestly thing the strongest people in the world (mentally and physically) are single parents and military spouses.  My husband left for Iraq right after our first child was born.  I was far away from family and didn't have many friends.  Not only did my son and I survive, we thrived!  I learned alot about myself while he was gone and our marriage is stronger for having gone through that.  \nI was born in Italy and lived in Peurto Rico for three years, how many people can say that?  I think it's wonderful!  \nYou're more than welcomed to e-mail if you would like to talk more on the subject.
10851
My husband was in the Marines when we first were married and was deployed for six months. To make it even harder I was pregnant with our first child. I know how empty your world feels right now. Just try to keep your self busy. Write often and talk on the phone when you can. I used to send calling cards with each care package. I also sent a video about half way through the deployment. I just recorded any special events that he would be missing i also went to the beach and taped a sun set for him, since the beach was a special place for us. Anything you can think of to keep the connection strong. Best of luck to you and a special thanks to your husband for his service to our country.
976688
I was also a young Marine Corp wife (still married, but now he has moved on to law enforcement).  As I know money is tight in the military and you are so far away from your friends and family it is hard to find something to do and find any time together.  The best thing you can do is to get to know your neightbors.  One of them might have or know someone that has a daughter/son that babysits.  We were lucky enough to find that!!  If that's not an option right now......try some little day trips as a family which is always good for the military man to spend time with his family as a whole.  There is always something to do without spending a lot of money.  Pack a lunch and go check out everything there is to do around the base and then spawn out to the towns around.  And car time is always a good time to talk and reconnect!!  Good luck.....it's not easy.....but it can be done!!
852341
As a Gulf War Vet myself I think that was sweet of you. And I want to thank you for the support you give your spouse. Some wives are not so supportive. They think it's a time to play. Instead of taking care of their family affairs. Thanks again!
1134601
I think that maybe at first it might be kind of hard for them to leave their friends,especially when they are teens.Because your not sure where your husbands duty station is gonna be.But once you find out you can call there and ask about what kind of activities they have on post for teens and get some kind of idea of whats going on there.I guess you know that you don't have to live on post if you don't want.But I also know that it is a relief knowing that all your bills are paid except your phone,cable,etc.The cost of living is high in alot of places and that makes it harder when you do live off post and your kids might enjoy that better.It might take some time but I think they will adjust and  they'll be okay.As for the deployments I guess I would have to say nobody is ever prepared for those and it all comes down to everyone has to support the other.Living day to day knowing your husband could leave for a year or so is never easy on anyone.I hope things work out for ya and the kids do okay.Have your husband keep checking his AKO and hopefully you will find out where your going so you can get prepared early.
414040
Honey, you are a normal military wife!!  My husband just returned from a 1 year tour in Iraq and I am still trying to catch up on sleep.  There will not be a minute that passes that you will not wonder what he is doing, what he is thinking, where he is, is he asleep, is he eating, has he had a shower?  All these things will run through your mind every day until he is home safe in your arms.\nYou need to stay as busy as possible, it really does help to pass the time.  I started going back to school and those 2 days a week taking classes and raising a teenager really helped me a lot.  Also I went to Hobby Lobby and bought a scrapbook (my husband is Army, they have all military branches) and started from boot camp, then to AIT and so on and every time he is deployed that is my project I work on his scrapbook.  He has no idea I have it, so when he retires that will be my gift to him!  \nAnd last always keep someone on close that you can call on day or night, because you never know when you will need a shoulder to cry on.  If you live on a military post you should have no trouble finding anyone who is in the same shoes you are in.  Last summer when all of our husbands where deployed there where 6 of us wives and we were always there for one another day or night.\nI hope this helps you.  And just hang in there, he will be home before you know it.\nGod bless you and your husband
124545
Not knowing your particular situation, I can share my experiences with moving and hope there will be some relevance.  My father was in the military and we moved every on an average of every 2-3 years.  It was difficult to leave friends and start over again.  That being said, now that I am an adult, I can see the positives that being a part of a military family has had on me.  I am much more open to any sort of change (which is so incredibly important in the workplace, you would be amazed at the number of people that freak out when any little changes are introduced and how long it takes them to acclimate) and I have been places and seen things that others that live where I do now will never do.  Although moving is hard now, there will be some positives that will come out of it, and now with internet, keeping in touch with friends is easier than ever.
844046
i have been a navy wife and i have been an army wife.  it depends on where you end up being stationed for either on what it's like.  when you are in your home city (or close enough where you don't live on post or deal with the FRG) you're only real source of what's going on is your husband - which is actually helpful as you don't hear 40 different things - none of which are right, and you don't get 4 billion emails about crap you don't care about, and you don't get stuck in the damn rumormill.  \nit was fine in the navy - when he left, i stayed with my parents in san diego because that was where he was stationed.  we are abroad now and we did the blue to green so we are now army.  it's a wonderful experience, but at the same time totally frustrating!  my FRG (i'm sorry, FRG is Family Readiness Group and you refer to the leader as the FRG) never  sends me any relevant information about my husband's unit and yet i get all this useless information that i don't care about.  there is supposed to be a POC (point of contact person) who calls at least once a month - i've been here 6 months, 2 months with my husband gone and she has never called - i don't even know who my POC is!  granted, i don't go to the FRG meetings - but why would i go when they don't do anything that is relevant to me and they make it difficult for me to go with a 14 month old?  \nalso living on post leaves you very vulnerable to the rumor mill, it seems especially the higher ranked enlisted wives do it.  they also tend to wear their husband's rank - abosolutely unacceptable!  myself and the 3 ladies i have made friends with are the wives of an E3, an E5, and 2 E6's (one E6 is only friends with me) so we don't care, and that's the way it is supposed to be in housing.  your rank does not go with you when you are out of uniform.  everyone gets the same respect out of uniform and since wives are never in uniform... yeah.  but it tends to not work that way.  there is this whole web of crap to deal with.  i tend to not.  i have also already made it clear that if i am included in this rumormill i will take them to court on charges of slander and defemation of character - i won't put up with it, but most wives will and that's why it's so widespread.\n\nif you are going to be stationed abroad, don't expect any help from the army to get you to your husband quickly - it was 6 months for all the paperwork to go through because no one could tell us everything we needed to do it so as we got one thing done we were then told another thing we needed to do and since he was already in europe and i was in arizona it was very difficult.\n\nother than that, it's fine.  you get to meet new people, have new experiences - if you live on post it's like it's own little world... kinda wierd to me, but you may like it.  and depending on your personality and what your husband does in the army you may not ever notice the rumors spreading like wildfire.\n\nmy tips, make friends with your housing person before you get a residence on base, find out where everything you NEED is at on base (they give you lots of useless info you have to sift through) and try to make friends with your neighbors, they are going to be the people you see most.