to muslims.  my friend treated his wife little harshly with no right. How can he seeks forgiviness?
484153
why does he need forgivness he was just following the quran .\n\n"Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has given the one more (strength) than the other, and because they support them from their means. Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient, and guard in (the husband's) absence what Allah would have them guard. As to those women on whose part ye fear disloyalty and ill-conduct, admonish them (first), (Next), refuse to share their beds, (And last) beat them (lightly); but if they return to obedience, seek not against them Means (of annoyance): For Allah is Most High, great (above you all)," (4:34).
471943
That answer is definetely wrong.. beating wives is certainly not only in arab and Muslim countries.. i'm sure it happens ALL over the world.. the blame is sure not on the religion (regardless what it was) it is on the husband and his mentality.. \nIslam is a great religion only for those who understand it and understand what is written in the Qura'an.. \nIslam and the way Islam tells us to treat other people is amazing.. full of love and respect... The whole world has a wrong concept and perception of islam.. and lately so many people are realizing that they have a wrong vision on Islam and they started to read the Qura'an and ask about it more deeply that's why the numbers of muslims are increasing... Anyhow, that was Rev. Kip's personal opinion.. and now this is mine.. and anyone who thinks that Muslim women don;t have equal rights as men are dead wrong.. \nAll muslim women have rights.. they also have the CHOICE to stay at home or work or study or do whatever they want just as long as it is acceptable in the Islam religion.. like they're are not allowed to be working bas jobs and soo.. \nand also Muslim women go out and do everything they want (as i said previously, as long as its something acceptable and respected for the Islam religion) and also Muslim women are not being hidden or anything.. I don't blame any of u who said those  wrong things about Islam because u didn't come into the Arab and Muslim world and see how Muslim men treat Muslim women.. beleive me u'll envy them.. \nplus Africa is definetely not a country to measure the whole muslims by.. What Muslim African men do their wives doesn't mean that all Muslim Men do that.. b/c Islam forbids that.. and also a men can go to jail if he abuses his wife in the Arab World..
569946
I have a similar situation. I think you are doing the right thing so far.\nI suggest that you pray (don't underestimate the power of prayer) and that you ask God to show you how to show this person His love.\nI am finding it helpful to keep open non-threatening discussion about both of our beliefs (she used to think all Christians were unreasonable and couldn't think for themselves). And I am trying to show her (through actions, more than words) the positive effect God has on my life - like how I treat people, and that I can rely on God.\nI really hope that you can get some where with your friend. I'll pray for you, and your friend. God Bless.
485434
I understand where you are coming from.  My husband and I have been in the same situation for a while now.  All we can do is draw nearer to GOD, and trust HIM to provide the strength we need.  People do not always obey what GOD would have them to do, but we have to forgive them, pray for them and bless them.\n\nGOD BLESS YOU!
776512
Happiness is against the will of Allah...dont blasphem him again...he gets very angry.
960684
Not at all.  There was a recent case of this in Africa, with her sentence (being buried to the neck and stoned) being "reconsidered" because of the international reaction.  Other behaviors have been protested, too.  The South American custom of a man murdering his divorced wife if she starts to date again, and calling it a matter of "honor".  Indian women being burned in a "cooking accident" because the dowry didn't come through.  Why should Muslims be given a pass?  They just convicted a man in Georgia for cutting his daughter's clitoris off with a pair of scissors in order to be sure she remained "good".  He may protest his sentence, but she'll suffer longer than he will.  This isn't ethnocentricity.  It's an ability to empathize with a person who suffers.  Those without the ability to empathize aren't faithful to any religion; they're merely psychopaths.
487026
personally i think that this is the same case as islam being blamed for what a few muslims do... all the muslims worldwide feel the wrath... n this is NOT DONE!\n\nnow u know how it feels to be on the recieving end...\n\nanyways, i do agree with u...\n\npeace
481187
You want to kill him? Hit him where it hurts. Take him to \ncourt for alienation of affection and hit him in the wallet! Then, give him your sleazy wife! They deserve each other, and you deserve better.
322521
Because Muslims do not have a love relationship with God the way Christians do. He is not their loving father, but instead he is a judge. Don't lynch me just yet... my best friend was Muslim when I lived in AL and we'd talk about this a lot.  I went to her temple, read any book she wanted, I ever read the whole Qu'ran, but I am a Christian because I need someone to love and I need someone who will love me back.\n\nIn her temple, I heard a "sermon" (I know i'm using Christian terminology here- my apologies) and the guy told this story: One very pious woman who prayed daily and faithfully did everything she was supposed to, let her cat outside on a leash.  She did not feed the cat or give it water and it died.  This woman was damned to hell.  Another woman who was living loosely saw a thirsty dog and had compassion on it and gave it a drink- and she went to heaven.  His point was that Muslims never know which actions will damn them to hell, so they must be good all the time.  It is fear based. You could do the right things your whole life, then mess up once and God can damn you and not even let you know!  \n\nLook at their heaven.  A christian sees heaven as a final oppertunity to recieve the fullness of God, we get to spend all the time we want with Him, fellowshipping with Him at banquets, worshipping Him.  Muslims think that heaven is full of virgins waiting for them, among other things- why get excited about this?  Think about it.  Why would you need something other than the presence of God to get you excited about heaven?  It's interesting to think about at any rate.\n\nBasically if you do more good than bad- you're OK.  The problem arises when some actions hold more weight than others.  Sadly their God has not clearly written out which actions these are and how much they cost- like "if I feed the homeless this week will it make up for the fact that I kicked the dog on Tuesday?"  They don't know!  No one knows how much each sin and each merit costs.  Their salvation is not secure- it's a constant state of proving your worth to a Being who finds you unworthy anyway.\n\nThe difference is, Christians do it backwards.  Instead of working to get to God so we can try and be near Him like they do; we are given God freely (the Holy Spirit) when we accept Christ's sacrifice.  So we're given God at the get-go, and then we get to spend time with Him because we love Him, not because we're trying to prove something or get into heaven.  Our salvation is secure when we accept that we'll never be good enough to get to heaven, so a sacrifice is needed.
249223
I never understood why 2 men (or 2 women) who love eachother and are not hurting others should be punished by death BUT Muslims can highly exalt a man (even above Jesus) who married a 9 year old girl. Don't you think a grown man HURTS a 9 year old girl? That would be the one thing that would prevent me from ever being Muslim if there was ever a chance for it in the first place.
942747
One very important thing that Islam teaches is that the Almighty GOD if full of Mercy. He forgives again and again, and He loves sincere repentance.\n\nOffer two units of optional prayer then make a supplication, as sincerely as you possibly can, asking for His forgiveness for all your previous sins and for His Mercy now and on the Day of Judgment (and also for your family and all the Muslims).\n\nI can almost guarantee that doing so will make you feel better.
602933
The Quran says that they will never be happy with you until you change your religion. Some people will try and make you feel bad for your religion and the misguided actions of others. The only reason you should feel like you should  apologize is if you have done something wrong. Most Muslims have done nothing wrong and this is just a way for some to make Muslim dought their religion. Seek refuge in Allah(God) and leave them to feel how they feel. You are a Muslim say "Alhumdillah[all praise and thanks be to Allah(God)] and move on.
621014
Here, we see a truthful person of Islam. No pretensions, undoubtly real and is a true human being. \n\nMy friend there is nothing wrong with you. You know what makes you suffer is the f***ing tradition and a derailed belief. We cannot solve the problem for you but we do understand you. If you understand what spirituality can do, why not explore on this aspect since it is a solid factor in terms of controlling such human weakness but if it is really difficult for you then follow your heart just as long as you don't go beyong the line. You know what I mean?
970290
Perhaps you could confront them by letting them know that your husband is aware of what was said, and that you feel betrayed because it had been a private conversation between close friends. Let them know that you feel hurt as well, because it has as you have said, made a very tense situation even worse. \n\nIn some ways it is to be expected that these friends of yours would tell their husbands, that is their life partner. What is terribly wrong is for the husbands to turn around and not only repeat your private words and cause more problems for you, but these husbands also ratted on their own wives by telling. Goes to show you that these husbands did not even think about how their actions would afftect you or the bad position they put their ownnn  wives in. Now these women of course will have to face you with what they have done. All around not a good situation. \n\nI would be very hurt by their actions but as well, I do not think they told their husbands to be mean or to do it as gossip but to share in what you are going through and perhaps as women do... run it by someone else in order to get another's opinion.  Perhaps you could keep this in mind as you confront them. They do owe you a big apology..... as well as their husbands.  Good luck... I hope everything turns out ok for you.
975931
I'm sorry about your misfortune, and happy to hear that you are able to release yourself from this situation through divorce.  \n\nThis problem isn't limited to Pakistani men - many men of many cultures are terribly immature when it comes to marriage, and shout religion as a way to attempt to control their wives.  I was married to an American Christian man who was exactly the same way.  \n\nWishing all the best for you and your children, and I hope after you have had time to heal, that you are able to open your heart to marriage again, only this time with a man who will be a true Muslim and love and protect you as a man should.
998048
Okay so he divorced you.  So what?  It proves he is a jerk and an idiot.  \n\nYou wrote, that you are a Muslim woman.  Do you know what that means?  That means you have a wonderful religion to learn.  Find peace in Islam.  Dont kill yourself and send yourself to hell!  If you are muslim you should know this.\n\nYou are educated but not working because your samaj/society does not like it.  It seems to me you are more worried about your traditions and culture than you worry about Islam.  \n\nRead the Quran.  It will give you peace of mind.  Ask a MODERATE scholar what you should do.  Do not be embarrassed or think this is a secret.  None of this is your fault.  It was all his fault.\n\nAre your parents looking for a new person for you?  Are you interested in getting remarried? \n\nFind some interests to pursue.  If you are living with your parents and they do not want you to work, then at least for the time being respect them.  I have to wonder this, if you were a doctor, would your parents not want you to work?  Sometimes indian parents are proud of their doctor daughters and they work.  Logically, if your career is within the code of Islam then you should be allowed to work, it is only your culture holding you back.  But  at the same time dont hurt your parents  by rebelling and working YET, because they are going through a difficult time  about the divorce right now.  \n\nFind some hobbies interests to pursue.  Take care of yourself, get new clothes made, excercise, go to the salon.  Read the Quran, join an Islamic class or group.  A moderate progressive one.  You dont need people telling you which way your hair is supposed to be and these little picky things that some extreme types of people argue about.   What you need is peace.  And REAL Islam can give you peace.  \n\nDo you think you can come to USA?  Maybe if you try to come here, you can get a nice job, a nice place and here there are alot of Indian or Pakistani Muslims that would marry a nice girl like you in a heartbeat.  On top of that, you getting away from all you know, your current surroundings, maybe a good way to learn about yourself.\n\nDont waste your time thinking about the jerk who made the biggest mistake of his life.  He will regret leaving you everyday until forever.  \n\nYou are better than him. Prove it to the world.\n\nAnd remember, if you say you are a muslim woman.  Then find out what that means.\n\n\nNo suicide, okay?
852852
Yes, Rod C has the right answer for you here.\n\nHe totally dishonoured his brother.\nHe used his brother's wife for his own good pleasure and self-satisfaction, but dd not deliver what was required by God and the custom of ancient Israel.\nAs was pointed out, someone else had to carry out the proper responsibility to his brother ... and through that one, more honourable, came the Son of God.\nSo you can only imagine what God's response to this fellow's shallow act must have been!!!!\n\nIt was a case of 'pleasure and use of a vulnerable woman without honour and responsibility towards her'