Why is it so hard to date again after getting a divorce and you just want to move on with life?
491649
After having been married for 9 years, I also have this problem.  I got used to my husband, I was familiar with all his good points as well as his bad.  After going through the pain of a divorce its hard to trust again and to allow yourself to know someone as intimately as you did your former spouse; as well as to let someone in on who you are deep inside...  you did it once, and look where it got you...\n\nI understand.  Maybe one day we'll be healed emotionally enough to test the waters once more.  Trust is a hard thing to come by and a hard thing to give someone else.
1153223
I did the same thing many years ago and we finally got back together after about a year apart and got married but ended up divorced before our 8th anniversary.   The problems that were there before were still always there, but I thought he would change and I was lonely and I hadn't gotten into another relationship.  He was my first love!   But 5 years after our divorce, I met a really wonderful man and we've been together now for 16 years and I can't even picture being with my ex anymore.  Sometimes a new relationship does the trick after you've had time to heal from the last.  I didn't think I could move on but I did and life has never been better!
384813
If it has been that long then you can feel free to date again. The only thing is I would not let my children met anyone until I was sure he was the right one. You are a free woman to do as you please/////////////////
197625
Yep it is hard to get back out there after being with the same person for a long time.I Have been divorced for over 3 years separated for over 6.If you just got a divorce you probably should not jump right into a relationship.But is hard to be alone so find yourself some old friends and hang out.If you are interested in a certain type of activity hang out there and find people with same interests.I myself cannot wait for the racing season to start at the dirt tracks....And am looking forward to going to hang out and drive the go carts in cottage grove.So hang where you are interested like baseball game... and find someone female that is interested in same things and build from there.I am also from Minnesota. Good luck.
1051700
Has he turned to alcohol because of the divorce or was there an alcohol problem and that is why you divorced? If he has just started abusing alcohol because of the divorce, maybe you can help him through this if he wants your help. I believe a divorced couple can get back together and have a wonderful life together. Once your divorced from that person, you see what you gave up, you see the mistakes you made in the marriage and when you go back into a relationship with that person again, you don't make the same mistakes as before. I know how you feel. I'm still madly in love with my ex. But he doesn't return the love. If your ex does return the love, then that's half the battle. Good luck, life it too short, go for it if you think it will work out.
347573
Where do you live, and how long have you been divorced? Where are you trying to get a date. Why don't you call me?
535012
Well, of course your going to feel this way. Having someone take advantage of your good nature would naturally scorn anyone's soul and heart. How long has it been since the divorce? Your just going to have to have time to heal. I would suggest though going out to put your mind at ease, but don't rush into another relationship quite fast.  Trust is something your going to just have to build with women again. Look back at your ex-wife were there signs that she was out for just money? If so use those signs to your advantage and beware of such signs in future relationships. DON'T EVER TELL SOMEONE YOUR DATING THAT SHE WAS A GOLD DIGGER. This may lead them to believe you could easily manipulated and taken advantaged of regardless of how long the marriage was. Simply say it was mutual and you rather not discuss it. Besides it's no body's business regardless of whom your dating or not. If there were no signs then be even more aware don't be to harsh w/ us women NOT all of us are out for money. I will pray for you strength to get back on your feet. You pray for a good Christian woman to come into your life and to be able to learn to trust again. Good Luck & God Bless. When you decide to become involved with someone again don't continue to be on the defensive either. You choose to date the woman so give her a chance, but just be aware of signs. Trust her, until you have proven it to be other wise or it's broke.  Don't allow your insecurity from a previous relationship or your ex-wife to ruin your chance for happiness.
46763
It depends on the two of you. I know a ex married couple that stayed friends after 24 years of being divorced. Thats a long time and a rare occassion. They are my parents lol. Now if you ended on bad terms and are trying to get along then probably not. Or maybe he is still into you and just wants to end it before he gets caught up into the feelings all over again knowing that you can never be together.
745360
Sweetie, every woman has gone through this before in life... at least I think so. Ive found that yeah it does take time for me to get over a person but as soon as I do and become myself again someone else comes along that is better looking and has a better personality. Dating should be an experiance that you learn from...take the things that you done and the things that the other person done and figure out what things you want in a mate. Also take the time to think about what that person could have done better and what you could have done better and try to apply it to the next relationship. For example you may have not communicated effectively in the last one....so in the next one try to communicate better. Get rid of the baggage now, dont judge the next person from the last persons mistake! Its all a learning experiance....belive me and the pain that you are going through only makes you stronger!!!! Love yourself there isnt anything wrong with you just keep going-there's something better in the future!!! I promise! Just be strong!!!!
175704
Yes that is normal.  You need to have time for yourself and to get rid of the bad feelings.  I am not divorced (yet) but it has been a year since we seperated and I have no desire to be with anyone.   \nJust relax and don't listen to people who tell you you need to be dating, you will when you are ready.
103635
If it has been a while and you've done some healing and your ready to move on, probably.  If it is right after the other relationship, then probably not, you are looking for a rebound which likely won't last very long, putting you back in the same situation.
240407
What i did, was take time out from dating, to get to really know myself, what i really want, how I will get it, what I want from the man & the relationship, til you do all that & more you will find & go with the same kinda guy you were married to, because that's what your used to & comfortable with. I went 9 yrs & didn't date, it was time enough for me, you may not need that amt of time, my marriage was very abusive, so I had to know in my heart I truely had put down the old baggage & was ready to trust again, I also knew I wasn't gonna do everything to keep the man happy, I wanted happiness too, hope this helps
79683
It's a hard time you're going through.  It's important to maintain your self-esteem and self-worth in this period.  Give yourself time to heal and be with friends and family who can reassure you.  If you're feeling guilt over it, try to come to terms with it and move on.  Go out with friends or join church groups who can help you.  Don't let yourself get tied up in needing someone else right away.  Just try to rebuild your life and your own self esteem for a while, and above all, don't get into a rebound relationship.\n\nThink long and hard about what went wrong and use it to make sure that the next time you contemplate getting into a relationship you are not making the same mistakes - either in the choice of your partner, or in how you related to your partner in the past.  \n\nGood Luck!
946420
Like I said in your previous q's, it is pretty stupid.  If you were going to get a divorce anyway then why didn't you get a divorce first before going back into the dating scene?  The reason I said to divorce first is to avoid the very complication you are in now, which, as you stated, your wife wants to get back with you.  \n\nAlso, keep in mind that you are not being fair to the person you're seeing.  You are dragging her into your drama.   If you want to date other people you should start with a clean slate.  Divorce first.
594840
start getting in to things that you have always wanted to do and coudn't while you were married. it will help you alot faster and move on with your new live.you can do any thing you want to do now. just have fun with the thing you choose to do. and who knows you may find love again that if you want that. good luck.
470505
Its not easy, I did it after 11 years off the market, and I have to say...you just have to take a deep breath and go for it.  Dating sites are a fun way to mmet people, and get the hang of flirting.  I met a guy that I dated for about six months that way. Don't be too scared, it can be really exciting to get back out there. \nGood luck!!!
1052788
First of all your grammar is really hard to understand could you fix that next time when asking another question?\nSecond of all what do you mean by pursue? You mean date?  If that's the case dont you know its wrong to pursue anyone when you are still married? why don't you go ahead and file a separation first and just be friends and then wait till your divorce is final?  That way you can get to know each other better and start out as friends?\nIf she really likes you then she will wait.  GOOD LUCK