is there a way to be more outgoing and comfortable around people when....?
481839
some people feel if you talk to yourself in the mirror or read out loud, you get more comfortable with people. because your used to talking and listening.
1100223
Personally, I think the sort of person who is immediately loud and outgoing with someone they've never met is a nuisance.  I start off quiet and gain confidence and a develop a rapport with people over time.  If you just jump in there and talk to them like you're best buddies, people (English people anyway), find it irritating and intrusive.\n\nIf you feel shy or awkward in social situations and don't feel you can join in, then maybe you would benefit from being more outgoing.  But you can't just flick a switch and suddenly be more relaxed with people.  When I was at college, I was painfully shy.  As you grown older, you are thrown into situations where you have no choice but to ignore the impulse to hide in the corner.   If you don't, then you'll end up with no friends, no girlfriend, a crappy job and a dull life.  The worse part is that people mistake shyness for rudeness, so as well as feeling isolated everyone will think you're an idiot!\n\nAs you get older, you realise that your life is defined by your relationships with others.  No one lived a happy, fulfilling life by avoiding human contact.  If you're shy, then the first part of building a relationship with others is mostly about acting more confident that you are, asking people questions rather than silently ignoring them, and being friendly without being pushy or presumptuous.  It'll soon come naturally.
1067672
You need to become more confident, and decide that people want to have you around.
345665
I can relate to that. I've moved a lot in my life. Be yourself! Once they see that you're really nice, they'll make friends with you. :)
906235
you should hangout with your friends\nand not try to be something youre not
636903
Be yourself any time you go out of your way to impress ANYONE you will make a fool out of yourself and distance yourself from them. people know when your trying to hard and lose respect for you. If your confident your a likeable person and portray that while being yourself people will like and respect you.
604582
It's nothing more than forcing yourself to go talk to people. When you say you're not particularly shy, you mean you are shy but you can tolerate being around people. It's nothing more than making yourself go out and be around people and talking to them, even if you don't want to.
440146
i used to be so shy, until i found my now best friend. she was so confident and encouraged me to do the same. maybe try and find friends on your own, so you aren't relying on your now friends to have a good time. Make conversation with a person in a bar or pub, thats usually a good way to get more confident, and if it doesnt work out then you can just leave it at that!\n\ndo things in public that you wouldn't normally do, like singing and dancing when messing about with friends.  Most of the problem is that you are thinking of what others think of you.  Dont worry what they think, theyr the ones having a boring time not you! and anyways, you wont see these people again, so let them think what they think!
391378
smile, be a good listener, don't get into peoples personal space, have empathy, don't spread gossip, be genuine, do not put on airs. a few  examples that will help.\ntake your worst personality trait and replace it with a good personality trait.
1072458
i have almost exactly the same problem. what i'm trying to do is to be more talkative and loud around my friends so that i get comfortable with it, then i hope i'll be more talkative in general, even with people who arent my really good friends.
71156
Tips For "Shaking Your Shyness"\n\n1.Conversation topics-never leave home without them.\n2.Let people know you're shy.\n3.Reward effort not outcome!\n4.Make things easy for the other person.\n5.Pick one social skill to practice at a time\n6.Take classes \n\nConversation Topics-never leave home without them.    Good conversationalists are rarely at a loss for words because: 1) they do so many things and go so many places that they have lots to talk about or 2) they prepare.  Good conversationalists never leave home without something to say to the people they think they'll be seeing that day.  If they're going to a party, they brush up on topics of interest to the people they know will be attending.  Before returning to work on a Monday, they think about the activities their colleagues had planned for the weekend.  They brush up on current events, the weather and anything else that might be the small-talk they need to get a conversation going or to keep it going.  Never leave home without at least a half-dozen things to talk about.\n\n   2.\n\n      Let people know you're shy.  This is a controversial subject.  Some people recommend that you never tell people you're shy, because people will use that information to label you.  Then again, if you avoid people, look down instead of making eye contact, stammer and stutter or turn three shades of purple when you're uncomfortable in social situations, people are going to draw conclusions of their own and odds are they'll be less favorably impressed with you than if you just tell it like it is---that you're nervous or feeling shy.\n\n      I think the problem arises because there are two ways to be shy---the obvious way and the not so obvious way.  The obvious way to be shy is to blush, tremble, twitch or otherwise physically manifest your shyness.  The not so obvious way is to avoid eye contact with people, not have much to say or decline offers from others you'd like to accept, but that are too far outside of your comfort zone for you to feel comfortable attending. \n\n   3.\n\n      Reward effort not outcome!   Memorize this one, because it's absolutely critical for conquering your shyness---or anything else you want to master, for that matter.  The only thing we can control in our life is our self---and even that can be a stretch sometimes.  We can't control other people and we certainly can't control how other people react to us and the things we do.  Nevertheless, most of us define our successes and failures by the way other people relate to us.  If we smile and they smile back, well good.  But if we smile and they don't smile too, we see it as a failure.  WRONG!!!   You won't get very far that way. \n\nIn fact, at least  in my book, what you did was a smashing success.  You tried.  You made an effort and that's all you can be responsible for.  You can't control how other people respond to you.  Sure, you can look back on your effort and speculate about things you can do to improve your performance next time, but at that very moment--at the precise time that you smiled, you made an effort and it's your effort that needs to be rewarded.\n\n   4.\n\n      Make things easy for the other person.  This is a tuff one, because as shy people, most of us are too busy worrying about ourselves---about how we look, what we say and whether other people will like us--- to stop and think about what we can do for other people.  But really, that's what being social is about---the other person, not us.  Dale Carnegie knew that.  He built a career on teaching people how to make other people feel good.  In his book How to Win Friends and Influence People, he lists principle after principle for putting people at ease and helping them feel special.   \n\n5.Pick one social skill to practice at a time.  You don't need to become a social butterfly overnight--and it's unlikely you could if you tried.  What you can do
535146
I used to be really shy, especially around people I liked. I guess I got nervous. Then I realized, Just relax & talk to them like I'd known them 4ever, & if they don't like me, then I'm no worse off than I was before. I've made a lot more friends that way!
188862
Open a calendar or diary and presto there's a date (it's all yours). LOL\n\nSeriously tho... just talk to people, if things are friendly between you and the talkee then sugest going somewhere (try just talking a few times before suggesting)
341048
Hi,U know I used 2 have the same problem... first of all... DO NOT FEEL LESS than other people,second: if someone comes by N U start blushing or gettin nervious, just imagine that person stading in an empty space with NOTHING but the opposite sex's underwear on,THIRD: let GO,hang loose,B confortabe,if U pretend everything's under control everything WIIL B under control,N lay back  relaxed,keep in mind YOU ARE WAAAAY better than the rest and if U DO say something stupid DON'T GIVE A FUCKIN' SHIT ABOU WUT THEY SAY OR MIGHT THINK ABOUT U,\n\nN fInally,whe U put all these on practice N B-come a more confident guy,find a girl who's a bit shy N THAT will B the perfect girl 2 start a conversation with,N hopefully date.... well this is wut I did N now I have a much better life,I realy hope it works 4 U .\n\nFeel free 2 E-mail me @ : debbie_free2nite@yahoo.com
38858
1. Be friendly. Smile a lot.\n2. Look at people in their eyes while they're talking to you. Don't feel you have to say something everytime someone says something to you. Just listen and look at them. And nod, smile, or show them that you are listening with your eyes.\n3. Ask someone for a favor - simple things like, "May I borrow a pencil? Thanks...." and be sure to return it when you're done.\n4. Remember what someone says in a casual conversation and try to bring it up again in a future conversation...like..."Oh, yeah, you like that CD, don't you?" (little things are important to getting lots of friends)\n5. Never ever act in a mean way...even if some girls are pressuring you to. When others are speaking badly of someone, try changing the subject. People will notice and remember, and someday..they will come to you for friendship, because you have proven to them that you are kind.\n6. Accept invitations to do things with people. Take safe risks.\n7. Take care of yourself with pride and total self-respect. That trains others to think of you with respect.\n8. Enjoy life and have fun. People love to be around someone who is able to have fun.
1064485
How about anything that will put you in social situations. Im not saying that to be mean, Im just saying that shyness is not something you need to just live with. Break free of it. I was extremely shy just a few years ago. I overcame this by becoming an xray tech. I know its not a glamorous job, but I it has helped. When you are around people screaming in pain all day long, the last thing on your mind is saying the wrong thing. I can talk freely to anyone now. Think about it.
246713
relax and be urself. u will feel less shy later