i am having problems with my son age 24 i thin he is doing ecstasy but he doesnt stay with me but i am worried
479703
Talk to him like an adult, much like you'd talk to one of your dear friends that you suspect has a substance abuse problem. Acknowledge his adulthood and show him you're concerned for his well being without judging. Show him that you trust his judgment.\n\nCall a professional counselor and ask their opinion. If nothing else, at least you can learn some coping skills.\n\nI was late the day they handed out the parent's manual, too.
969035
You don't say how old your son is.  I think that one day he will want to meet you and have you be a part of his life.  I can't even imagine how you must feel not being able to see him and get to know him, but he's been with this family for so long, I'm afraid that it might really confuse him if you showed up out of nowhere.\n\nIs it possible for you to wait until he's an adult, and then send him a letter?  I applaud and admire you for getting control of your life.  I'm sure you've been in recovery long enough to know that sometimes the family members of addicts are so fearful and distrustful of the addict that the bridge can't be repaired.\n\nI hope this is not true for you, but in any event, you have proven yourself and done well for yourself.  Continue to do everything you can to live a better life, and for the sake of your son, wait until he's an adult and then contact him.\n\nI wish you the very best.  You've accomplished a lot.
949284
What your son wants doesn’t really play into it as much because he is still a baby.  I think if he was over 13 years of age he would have more say but they might evaluate him and consider his mental health as respect to custody.  A social worker can end up involved if your sons father believes he is not being taken care of properly by you.  \n\nYou want your home to be clean and your son to be in a SAFE environment  Safe toys only, yard safe.  A none smoking and drinking parent looks better then the other way around.  Supportive grandparents is always helpful.  Do you work, do you have a good baby sitter?  Your friends, are they the  right kind of people to be around a child?  Everything is taken into consideration.  Do you get in trouble with the police?  Do you participate in your child’s education?  Donate time at his school?  Your character and ability to provide certainly considered.  Joint custody is common if both parents are good parents and then you share the child.  If Daddy is a good father this shouldn’t be a problem.  He needs both of  you.  \n\nTry to communicate with your sons Daddy and tell him that it is important that the two of you get along.  It is important to your son.  Your son should not have to feel guilty loving his parents.  They should not be fighting.  Love is all he needs from both of you and working out your differences in a positive way is best for him.  The child is always the one who suffers.  Don’t let that happen. \n\nYou may need an Attorney.  There are organizations that will provide you with an Attorney based on your income, ability to pay.  Look in the yellow pages under government and see if there is something there.  Make some phone calls and see what is offered in your area.  Look under Attorneys.  Be careful.  Can be more expensive then you can afford.  So try real hard to get representation that is affordable.  It is possible.  Good Luck.
691000
I had a friend that was addicted. He's over it now, but I could never convince him that he needed help, he had to convince himself. I'm afraid there's little that you, alone, can do. Depending on his age, perhaps you could talk with his parents, or maybe a counselor of some sort...? When he realizes that he has a very serious problem he's going to need to know that you'll be there for him! You might have to be strong while he is weak! I wish you (and him) the best!
1157817
No, I don't think you're over protective.  Going by your previous question, you and your ex need to sit down and talk about this.  It seems he lacks on the discipline, but he's free to raise your son however he wants when your son is with him.  However, your ex needs to tell your son that while he is with you, he needs to respect your rules.  He's only 11 and since he's been in trouble before, he really can benefit from rules.  Good luck!
886040
mmm What kind? If it was Weed mail it to me if it was Tabs mail it to me if it was Ecstasy pill mail them( just kidding) but if it was crack or meth you need to tell your parents especially if he used to be on them bad he may need some help. Seriously though if it was any kind of dirty drugs get him some help. Both my parents, my husband, the father of 2 of my children,and 3 of my sisters are on drugs and it is a very sad feeling. I did not know my husband was on them until we had gotten married and money was missing. I mean I still love him but I pray for him every night. I never did drugs but as you see my life is surrounded by it and I thought when I got married I was through being around it. So please get him some help and pray for him.
360829
Addiction is sticky subject.  I went through my own addictions for years, and have a friend who is going through it now. It is tough. My friend is now in an "in-patient" program. That is her way of coping with it. I had to pull myself out of my addictions. Luckily I was able to do so. It was tough, but it does get better. I have been clean for over 3 1/2 years now, and have been leading a happy, healthy life. Confrontation is scary and difficult, but for the most part intervention is sometimes the only way to go. Your son needs to know that you care for him, and that it is not an issue of your feelings being hurt. It needs to be more of a concern for his health, and wellbeing than anything. However, he needs to make the first step and accept the fact that there is a problem and also accept help. It's a long healing process, but it is possible. Best of luck to you!
127075
Listen to him more and convince him that he does not need friends, seriously, or convince him that everybody are his friends. BTW how old is your son? I know about this kind of thing cause I suffered this before.\n\nContact: rateofspeed@hotmail.com
226951
Your not being bossy, you are growing up and taking responsibility for your life.  I know it is probably hard for him to accept that he needs to grow up also but if he really loves you and his son then he needs to.  It simply is not ok to continue that life style when there are so many more important things in his life now.  He needs to understand that just because you are both growing older and you want to be more responsible isn't the end of all the fun in your lives.  It is just that the definition of fun needs to change.  It needs to be more family oriented.  Instead of going out partying till all hours of the night, you have friends over for a barbecue, you take a family trip, etc...
286368
Well, i have no idea how you could possibly gegt over it  i meen he was your son and i dont think you'll ever get over it but i do have some ideas for you to get your mind off of it when you start thinking about it dont cry think of somthing cool  somthing that interest you..or go do somthing..take risk!...you know do something fun, sky diving! like stuff you would never do...get your mind off of it  or do somthing simple go skating...go on a shopping spree!  i hope these things help..im truely sorry and i dont know what to say..i hope these things work..im sorry to say it but..you loved your son and i dont think you'll ever get over it...\nHope i Helped!
404219
try explaining to him your problem.he should behave like a responsible father first.he can't just fool around with you and your kid.\nif his friends come home to stay , just don't allow them.\nmake a big fuss about it everyday.also don't permit him to stay out make sure he returns home.\nwatch whatever he's up to.find out what exactly he's doing with his friends.explain to him he is a father of a 3yr old kid and tell him first to behave like a dad.
476006
I have no doubt that you have been trying to instill values of the clean nature in him for a long time. Here he is almost 18 and has yet to adapt. Soooo, I am relatively sure you are asking for help, but not expecting any miracles. You know that you have probably already exhausted every avenue that any one of us might tell you. I have sons also, and when you describe your son its as if you were talking about one of my boys. I have no solution for you,... I just wanted you to know you are not alone in this aspect. There is one thing you can "teach yourself" though that might eliminate some of your frustration about him. Don't take it personnel when he does this! Save your energy. Choose your battles! Keep instilling the lesson of what he needs to know, but don't worry about him not doing it. Try a role change with him on occasions,... when he needs you to do something, tell him "just a minute", or "I will get on that soon", or "I meant to do that, but forgot", ...throw his lines back at him and watch him get frustrated. Its good clean amusement for you, I promise!  My boys, and I am sure your son, too, are 'good' people, and yes, lazy people. But as long as he is staying out of real trouble, you really have no problems compared to some Moms out there. They do grow up, and when you go to their homes in the future, he will make you proud. I know!!! You are me, 14 years ago. Hang in there, its going to be alllllright!
648529
sounds like your son is a freak. lol
886073
first of all you should go see a mental health doctor. they can diagnos you if you do in deed have a.d.d. my son was diagnosed at 5 yr old and is now 11 years old . its nothing to be ashamed of.. no matter what people say...he took meds for almost 5 years and now does not . . he is a very senitive ,bright, energetic.creative and very smart.but he struggles every day.its nothing to be scared of its not a disease..it just means you have to focus and work harder . thats all. if you end up on meds and you feel drugged or doped -up  . tell your doctor because that means its not the right medicine for you.there are lots of meds on the market 1 of them is bound to work for you if you and your mom decide to go that route.. hope ive helped
567294
You should not stay in a relationship you are unhappy in.  You're not having sex anymore and you sound unhappy.  It's time to move on. He does not have a right to say that he doesn't want you to leave because he doesn't want another guy in your son's life. He needs to grow up. If that is the only reason why he would stick around he's not worth it. I would not say that it's ok to bring tons of guys into your sons life randomly. I would say after you've been dating someone for a while you could introduce your son then... when you know the person will stick around. Your son's father has no control over that just as you have no control over any future females being in his life.\n\nMove on. This isn't good for you, your sons father or your son.
733099
sounds like the two of you have grown apart. to keep a relationship strong, you have to spend time together and he needs to spend time with his son as well. I'm sorry for your situation but if this continues, maybe you need to move on and find someone who will put you and your son's feelings first. love is putting the other person first.
448423
You know your son. You know if he respects you as the authority figure he truly honors. You know in yourself if pleasing you is important and disappointing you is something he really does not want to do. If that is the case, as much as you are tempted, don't spy on him. Be ready in any case to intervene should things get inappropriate, if they do. On the other hand, if the relationship with your son is strained and he does not appreciate his parents, then the battle is already lost. If you move to spy or stop him, then he'll move the activity somewhere else where you are not.