is it right to let my kids dad come around?
482296
IF THE TIME BETWEEN VISITS IS LONG I'M THINKING YOU AND YOUR KIDS FATHER NEED TO HAVE A TALK AND LET HIM KNOW THAT THE KIDS DO ENJOY HIS VISITS, BUT THAT IT ISN'T EMOTIONALLY CONDUCIVE FOR HIM TO BE IN AND OUT OF THEIR LIVES. HE NEEDS TO BE MADE AWARE THAT EITHER HE IS GOING TO COME AND SEE THEM AT A REASONABLY ACCEPTABLE INTERVAL OR MAYBE HE SHOULDN'T SEE THEM AT ALL. I AM ONLY SAYING THIS SHOULD BE THE CASE IF THE KIDS ARE BEING UPSET THAT HE DOESN'T COME OFTEN. IF THE KIDS HAVE NO PROBLEM WITH HOW FEW INBETWEEN HIS VISITS ARE AND THEY REALLY ENJOY HIM, THEN I SAY YES LET HIM COME AND SPEND TIME WITH HIS KIDS. YOUR HUSBAND NEEDS TO UNDERSTAND THEY HAVE A REAL FATHER. MAYBE HE ISN'T THE BEST, BUT IF HE TRYS TO SEE HIS KIDS, THEN IT'S MORE THAN ALOT OF MEN DO. MAYBE YOUR HUSBAND FEELS THREATEND IN HIS RELATIONSHIP WITH THE KIDS OR MAYBE HE JUST DOESN'T WANT THE KID'S DAD COMING AROUND YOU?? I THINK YOU GUYS NEED TO HAVE A TAAK AND SERIOUSLY FIND OUT WHY HE FEELS THE WAY HE DOES. AFTER ALL IT'S THE KIDS EMOTIONAL WELLBEING THAT IS IMPORTANT HERE. YOU ALL NEED TO DO WHAT IS RIGHT FOR THEM. I PRAY IT ALL GOES WELL FOR YOU GUYS.
846558
You should let grown ups do what grown ups do you prude....your dad needs to move on and apparently so do you. :Let your dad get his groove on and mind your business lil kid
904791
No, you should not.  He will leave you again, even if he does come back because he knows he can.  It will take time, but I'd get him off of your Christmas list, because he has no regard for you.  Take care of your daughter and see to it he meets his legal obligations to your daughter.  I hope you heal and find someone that treats you better.  God Bless.
479966
Talk about role reversals, they are being childish about this and your being cornered to being the parent of their situation.  In your daughters situation I would simply say you are both welcomed to visit when ever your available, if you don't want to be around when they other is then you settle that between yourselves, your both adults!  As for other arrangements that require you to schedule time for each because they no longer live together...that will have to be dealt with on a individual basis or for the holidays ...birthdays...have the festivities at your place and welcome both...that gives them equal opportunity to spend time with you and your daughter...not to mention being a family for family sake.
847297
IF  YOU ARE MARRIED THEN THE DAD  SHOULD PUT HIS FOOT DOWN AND TAKE YOU ALONG AS LONG AS THEY FEEL THAT HE'S  NOT REALLY SUPPORTING YOU BECAUSE THEY DON'T INVITE YOU THAT HE DOES NOT BRING  YOU  IT'S NOT RIGHT ON HIS PART, AFTER ALL HE'S THE DAD AND THEY NEED TO UNDERSTAND THEIR PLACE, AND YES YOU SHOULD ALWAYS SAY HELLO DON'T PUT ON KNEE PADS  SO YOU CAN STOOP TO THEIR LEVEL. KEEP YOUR HEAD UP
1120962
Every now and then ask him what he wants to do. It might be getting on the floor and playing blocks or going to the beach, cooking ANYTHING! As long as you are doing it together and you show interest in what he is doing then THAT is quality time.\n(you sound like a great Dad, he is lucky to have you)
404219
try explaining to him your problem.he should behave like a responsible father first.he can't just fool around with you and your kid.\nif his friends come home to stay , just don't allow them.\nmake a big fuss about it everyday.also don't permit him to stay out make sure he returns home.\nwatch whatever he's up to.find out what exactly he's doing with his friends.explain to him he is a father of a 3yr old kid and tell him first to behave like a dad.
996492
i think you should wait for marriage -- because what if this doesn't work out, your children will be crushed.. they will feel as if they just lost a father. if you were married, this would be ok -- especially if they have nothing against it. because if the kids don't like the idea of calling him "dad" -- don't force them. but you said that they were ok with it, so that's one step forward. \n\ntry not to move too fast! we don't know yet where this will go.
191352
ISthat what you want to teach your daughter together,on how to deal whith that situation,talk to your ex and him together  let them know whats up,If your daughter wants to move in go for it having your kids around you is time well spent
567259
If it's not his dad, keep clear.  Maybe he's taking over a dad's responsibility.  Keep clear again.  This kid will need a dad.  If his 'dad' is doing everything a dad needs to to then leave well alone.  Don't cause friction.  If the kid is happy with the arrangement, leave well alone.  They'll work it out in the future.  Don't interfere.  Let fate take it's toll without your input.
936601
When I left my first husband, he chose to punish me by refusing to visit our son. Our son is 22 and his dad hasn't seen him since he was 18 months old. You can't force the dad to suddenly becaome a good person when he isn't, but you can affect your son psychologically by how you deal with it.  I guarantee your son doesn't care about the paperwork. If there is a man who is treating him like a son, that's good enough for a healthy self-image. Even if there isn't, you can keep him healthy if you keep a healthy attitude yourself. Be very careful that signing over parental rights isn't about YOU punishing your ex.
213283
How you can talk to you dad agian.You can spend so time togather just the 2 of you you can spend a night w/ no one ther go out to diner of go play you fav hpppie or sprot or do somthing you dad likes
852671
Here is my take on the situation- if your husband has visitation rights, and he shows up to pick up his daughter does the \nMom refuse to allow her to go with her Dad?...if this is the case, I would speak with the local police department and take the visitation order with him as well. He needs to let the officers know he is trying to follow what the court has determined to be in the best interest of his daughter however his ex-wife is not uphoding the courts orders. I would then request the officer to accompany my husband to the daughter's house and let the Mom know that he has the right to have his daughter according to what the judge decided- with the police officer on the property and knowing the background of the situation your husband should have no problem getting his daughter for the times that he has been granted. He can also let the Mom know that if she abides by the courts orders he will not have the police accompany him each time for pick up, but if he needs them there for each and every pick up to be civil he will do it for the daughter's benefit and to not a cause a nasty scene.\n\nThe other thing is to speak with children's services or your attorney and let them know the ex-wife is not following through on what the court has ordered for visitation rights with his daughter.  \n\nI myself would never want to see a parent relenquish parental rights- in my opinion that's not fair to the child...it's not their fault the Mom is being a pain in the a$$- so go after the Mom and make life tough for her not the daughter.   :o)\ngood luck!
622449
You've done all you can. You've discussed the situation with your ex husband and the new wife. What else can you do? Don't force your children to go over because that will only make them resent him because of her.\n\nTell your ex he can come over and spend time with the kids at your house without bringing his wife because she is not welcome around the children. \n\nHe'll start to get the hint.
717787
I have 2 little ones, and I would think that it would be easier for me if someone took the kids away for a bit.  Talk to your daughter about her feelings, then make a decision.
212873
Very gently!  lol  Some children depending on their age may resent a new person coming into their dads life.  They may see it as a threat to their relationship with him.  Also alot of kids hang on to the idea that maybe someday their parents will get back together- even years down the road- so they put up a struggle and not want to accept this person in their lives.  Introduce them and take it day by day.  explain that they are NOT there to replace their mother.  That she will be here as a friend to them.  Good Luck
384562
Wow...you're definately in a hard spot!!  I guess as long as they are being good to your son and not trying to sabotage your relationship with him, it's probably ok to let them pick him up once a week.  \nAs far as their treatment of you goes...well, it's sort of expected that they would take their son's side in this isn't it?  Try and take it for it's worth..which is nothing. I know it may be hard to ignore, but if you can for your son's sake, give it a go.  If they start bad-mouthing you to your son though that's a different story. Then it goes from being a good thing to being not so good for your son...it would be very tough on him to listen to grandma and grandpa talk sh.. about you.  Confusing and detritmental.\nGood luck with this one, sweetie.