What to do about a sister in law?
493208
OMG!!!!!!!!!! I hate her already. First, tell her no calls past ____ (fill in the time). Say it wakes the kids. Next, if she goes to the store for you, tell her you need the exact change back, because you are saving up for ____. If she wants her kids to play with the toys, let her know that she can have them come over and play, (just watch that they don't leave with them). You have to be upfront with her and let her know that you feel that she is taking advantage of you. Explain all of the reasons. Ask her if she would like to be treated that way. Let her know that your household will no longer support her alchol problem......if she sneeks three beers out the back door that is stealing. Alchol (misspelled, sorry) is a legal drug, if she feels the need to steal it.....then she has a problem with it. Also, tell her that you will not support her smoking habit. If she is bold enough to buy smokes with your change again, aks to see them, then when she hands them to you, put them in your pocket, and say "Thank you". I'm sure she will wonder what you are doing. Say that she bought smokes with YOUR money, there for they are your to keep. I bet she will never do that again. As far as her saying stuff to get your husband in trouble....Let's say she saw your husband look at another chick, if she comes to you saying that, say, "Was she ugly? Cause I heard ugly rubs off. Tell him not to look at the ugly ones." (LOL) And, about bumming toilet paper, why would your mom let someone live there if she can't afford the bare essential??? Sounds like you sis-in-law has a problem about getting something for nothing, no matter what it might be.
1165278
leave him alone\nhe don't want no pesky sister trying to follow him.
850151
YOUR HOUSE. YOUR RULES.  \n\nRequest your brother to refrain from telling jokes in front of your in-laws.  He must be able to do this at other events (like at church, weddings, funerals) and at work (if not he must be a sexual harassment lawyers dream come true).  \n\nIf he feels he is unable to comply with YOUR HOUSE YOUR RULES then please either do not attend or show up after your in-laws have left, where he can open the trap up.\n\nThere will be no pleading, discussion or reasoning.  I do not tolerate fowl language during working hours from co-workers and if they do not like it they know they can get a job somewhere else.\n\nAlso inform him the the punishment could be you showing everyone pictures of him as a baby (naked on the bearskin rug or wearing your dresses), all of which either he will deny you have or be scared you really will.  If you don't tell him paint shop pro works wonders on the old family pictures.\n\nGood luck
183533
If you say negative things to your sister about her husband-in a flash, she'll defend him and draw that boundry line..with you on the other side..don't let that happen. When you have a chance-tell your sister, with love, that you love her, that you want her happy-even if it's with her husband-but, that you can see how hard it is for her-and that you can imagine things might be more difficult than she lets on at home....make sure she knows you aren't trying to tell her what to do-just that if she ever needs anything-you hope that she'll call you.  Then leave it at that...just let her know there's an open door for her-at any time..\nYou can't tell her what to do...and you can't tell her anything that she probably hasn't already said to herself..Except-that she is deeply loved.\nhang in there....
662922
tell mom-in-law to do things your way in your home or hit the highway...[its your life] make your own choices..
888339
Maybe she feels threatened that you are entering the family and may take her place so she wants to make sure you know she is on the inside and you are not.  Maybe she was caught up in the emotion of the event and never meant to hurt your feelings. Depends on the sister-in-law.
748209
Remember this is your battle with the inlaws not your sister in law's.  Do not make her choose sides.  Be happy for her that she has a better relationship with them than you do because I'm sure you wouldn't wish what you are going through on another.  Maturity is called for here.  Stick to your guns for yourself, don't expect other's to choose sides.  She sounds like she's attempting to be neutral.  If you don't like hearing about what's going on with them, simply ask her not to go into detail about them or what they do or don't do.  Keep your friendship.  That's more important than allowing the in laws to drive a wedge between you two...and likely, that's what's happening.
705100
Tell you husband you need more help when you are at his parents house.  Have him listen up and the next time your MIL directs concern to you he can jump in and handle it.  The other option would be for you to ask your husband to handle it in front of your MIL so she can get the message you are equally responsible for the kids.
966050
it's about time your sister in law is not the only one who decides how thanksgiving will go.  why should she be the one to decide, when she herself doesn't follow her own rules?? email, to me, doesn't seem the answer.  why not just call your sister in law and tell her that you just can't make the 12 o'clock time - it's just too rushed and let her know the time that is good for you.  if she puts up a fit, just tell her to begin the festivities without you and you'll join in when you get there.  as far as making something, don't wait for THEM to tell you what to make, tell your sister in law i'll be making (whatever you care to make) so make sure no one goes to the trouble of preparing this.  don't let her run your family life, when she doesn't seem to be able to run her own life.  grandma will understand, if she loves you, because, i'm sure at one point in her life she went through the same dilemma.  families don't change that much from generation to generation. make sure this sister in law doesn't ruin your holiday because that is what it seems she is trying to do.  family plans do not revolve around her.  good luck and make sure YOU enjoy thanksgiving.
98792
If nothing else, you've just got to remember these two things: 1) She will always be your sister and your best friend. Nothing and no one will change that. On the other hand 2) She now has a family. Just as you might one day have one, it is important that you accept that your sister has new obligations now to her husband and child.  If you still want to be a great friend to her, be sure to remind her of how much you are there for her and of how much she will always mean to you. Don't count yourself as being second class; you are in a class all your own and it is a blessing of a class to be in!
908144
Catch her putting in a camera on one of your own.  Then , send the tape to all your husband's relatives.  Once people know that others know, they usually drop their invasion of you and your life.  It's like the dirty little secret is out.\n\nNow, there is another problem here -- you are really upset and feel invaded by this.  Since your husband is so unresponsive, can you see a counselor?  You need to work out your feelings, since in the end she is still your mother-in-law and the grandmother to your child -- and will be forever, no matter if a divorce occurs, etc.  \n\nNaturally, your mother-in-law is sick and needs help.  I'm hoping other family members will realize the extent to which she is sick and will intervene.  I'm also hoping others will help your husband see reality.  As often happens, there are plenty of folks who put up with bad behavior, to the point of denying its existence, because the love and feel loyalty to that person.  It's called cooperating with the illness.  You need to walk a simple line ... without being critical and judgemental, state repeatedly that she is sick and needs help, that this is not the behavior of a rational adult, that there is free counseling through the church, etc.  What you are trying to do by this is get people to agree with you, so it's not a case of choose a side.  Instead, you are asking them to choose to help her.\n\nGood luck -- I feel for you and wish I had better advice for how to handle this.
189977
I really think you know the answer.  If you feel she is separating you from God, it should be clear.  Besides, do you realy want to add conflict with your husband when he doesn't trust her?  You have to take care of yourself, it doesn't matter if your brother is involved.  If he has a relationship with her, you may be forced into the friendship in a way.  My wife has a similar problem with her sister-in-law.  We just try to avoid her as much as possible and deal with her brother when we can.  Good luck.
812101
Sounds like shes got some deep seeded issues, marrying a man that is 4 years older then her son.  The kind of mom that secretly hopes her son will walk in while shes dressing or something... eww.  Sorry you have to deal with that, but it sounds like at least you have someone with whom to share this unfortunate experience with, namely your new sister in-law.  I'm sure the two of you will be able to help each other.  \n\nMommy dearest needs to realize that you didnt "take him away", he probably RAN... and the only person to blame is the one that stares at her from the other side of the mirror.\n\nGood luck geting that through her head though... as sad as it is, help is for those that want it, NOT those that need it.
409059
Grow up!  She's family, and if you have a problem with her, you need to talk to her directly!  Who cares if she is a twin or not??  You need to deal with this issue as soon as you can!  And the right way to deal with it is not to not buy her a present, to show your displeasure with her!
1081515
You need to get right to the heart of the matter and politely and sincerely ask your sister why she feels unable to respect your privacy. If there is a trust issue, it needs to come out into the light.
1124800
GIVE HER SPACE ..AND MAKE PLANS TO GO OUT AS A FAMILY AND ONLY YOU AND HER AND IF YOU HAVE KIDS REMEMBER IT NOT THE KIDS FAULT YOU ARE THE ADULT AND YOU NEED TO OPEN UP ...MAKE HER FEEL YOUR THERE IT WILL BE HARD BUT HEY ...THAT HOW YOU START THE BOND ....................AND YES SHE IS PART OF YOUR HUSBAND LIFE SO ...MAKE THEM BOND ALSO SO SHE WONT FEEL YOUR IN THE MIDDLE OF THEM....LET THEM HAVE QUALITY TIME...ALSO...SO IF SHE IS HOME SICK PLAN TO DO THINGS OKAY..AND BE A MOTHER TOOO...OKAY..SHE IS A DAUGHTER BECAUSE SHE IS IN YOUR LIFE A HEY 3 WEEKS IS NOTHING ..SO HEY SHE NEEDS TO EAT SO HAVE CONVERSATIONS WITH HER ..OR SIT WITH HER AND TELL HER .....DO YOU WANT TO DO SOMETHING AND ......HEY SHES JUST 11 ...SHE IS A CHILD..
825201
Your sis-in-law has to realize that the holidays is not about control. But the holidays is not just about who has the get-together at their house. If your family isn't spread all over the country you or she could have a holiday get-together close to the holiday while the other has it on the holiday; and then the next year you could trade. \nYour sis-in-law was probably miffed because you planned your thing before she could open her mouth to invite everyone. \nTalk to her about setting up something where this year you will have so-in-so holiday and she can have the other  but the year after you change it around.\nI have a sis-in-law like your sis-in-law and I do know what you are going thru. Remember - the holidays are about love.