I have a big problem. I've been in a comited relationship for 1 year and we just started living together.?
485364
Kind words turns away wrath. Never argue back with someone. It adds more fuel to the fire. When he starts raising his voice just smile and say ok dear. This confuses them. Because he would expect you to argue with him but instead you did something positive. When he ignores you just start singing around the house. But not too loud. If you are not \ngoing to hug, kiss, or caress him then keep your hands to your self. Hitting is physical abuse. It hurts. When he insults you just laugh and brush it off. Once again you are confusing him. At this point he doesn't know what to think. \nYou keep doing this then he will stop the insults, the yelling, and the ignoring. You'll start to see a change in his behavior. A positive change. Someone has to start putting out the fire and it might as well be you.
1178537
You are so far into the material and emotional world that I cannot help you.  My advice is to drop all girlfriends and boyfriends and have no relationship whatsoever until you can get your head together.  You are a living soap opera! lol hon get some help!
347850
i myself are in a relationship for more than a year and things tend to get a little aggrivated lately.  The best adivice i can give you is to just take things as they come and just talk everything over with your man that comes up.  If you argue about things, thats ok. don't think it is your fault at all. if your mad, its obviously him thats doing something to make you mad.  just tell him whats bothering you
902669
I'd say...I jumped into this relationship and now I regret it. I don't want to hurt your feelings, but I need out. Then, leave. You are right, if you keep on it will hurt more later and I promise you...the longer you wait, the harder it will be to do.
1091399
well there are people out there like that. If you want to stay with him then get use to it but if you feel you need more out of the relationship then get out. also was this a sudden thing or was it always like that? if it was sudden then you need to do some PI work but if it was always like that then you knew what you were getting into. good luck
1051281
You need to figure out why you're coming back and solve that problem. Maybe you're lonely or this other person fills a need in your life. Once you confront your problem, you can easily handle moving on from this relationship.
1163465
Hi Kat,\n\nSounds like you already answered your own question hun.  If you both care about each other, there is nothing wrong with dating still and living in your own places.  If you really want your independence back then you need to take it.  Living with him because he wants you to stay isnt the answer.  Stand strong, and be kind. THere is always common ground.  NEVER compromise or you'll be blaming each other in the long run.  Best of luck . Take care
254078
Leave his @ss...if it's weird and doesn't feel right, then that's not a relationship you need to be in. Just because you've been together for 2 years doesn't mean you have to stay together for old times sake. If he keeps leaving, this time you be the strong woman and walk away. Trust me, Honey, I know. I did it and I am much better for it. You may love him, but he obviously is not treating you the way you deserve to be treated and you need to cut your losses and get out.
714949
I think it was a mistake to move in together.  First of all, the basis of a relationship is honesty even when the other person might not like what you have to say.  Sex is important.  Your relationship is already in trouble since you want to cheat.  He needs to know that you have a right to sexual pleasure.  You need to talk. There is also medication for premature ejaculators.  You wont find out any of this if you dont talk.  If he doesnt want to talk, tell him that this is so important to you that if you dont talk, you will step out on him.  You have a right to pleasure.  Hes probably not very happy with himself either.  No guy that goes off in a few minutes is really very happy with himself but his manhood prevents him from talking or doing anything about it.  Speak now or hold someone else's piece.
162982
Wow, that's a complicated problem.  It's going to be hard to try to answer this because I can't see the details when I'm typing.  \n\nYou say that you've been alone for about a month, which is long for you, but that you feel good about it.  Considering that you've been in a lot of unhappy relationships, that's probably understandable.  You sound like you're putting an awful lot of pressure on yourself to find "the one" before it's too late.  Then you take out this pressure, in turn, on your boyfriends.  I think in your concern to hurry up and find someone permanent, you're pushing yourself way too fast into relationships, and trying to stake a claim before you really know that you love them (otherwise, you wouldn't get over them in a couple of weeks...)\n\nHowever, knowing this about yourself isn't necesssarily going to help you change.  You could seek counselling, but that's expensive.  Here's what I would do, when I feel like I'm acting in ways that aren't in my best interest (and believe me, that's pretty often): \n\nFirst, take some more time off from relationships to get your head together.  You sound kind of panicky right now, which is not a good state to be in when you're starting to date somebody.  Try to balance yourself a little.\n\nWhen you are in a relationship next, and you want it to work out, you have to think *all* the time about the consequences of all your actions.  Being a good partner is work.  You can't just trust that you're going to act in a way that is good for you and the other person, you have to think about it.  Every morning, think to yourself, "How would I like this day to go?  Do I want to accomplish anything specific in my relationship?"  If you feel like talking about your partner about long term plans, etc., *stop* first and think:  "How is he going to react to this?  We've been dating for X number of weeks.  Is this an appropriate time to ask this question of him?"  \n\nAt the end of the day, think over what you and your partner have done that day, what conversations you have had.  Did anything upset either of you?  Can you do anything constructive to make it better?  Do you see yourself falling into your old patterns?\n\nI guess what I'm saying is, you can't always trust your instincts to work in your own best interests.  You have to put some control back into your mind.  This may not sound very fun, but it's often what relationships need most.\n\nTake your next relationship slowly.  *Think* about the moves you make before you make them.  Give yourself time to fall in love, without worrying for the moment about the future.  If you try too hard to grab it, it'll slip out of your hands.\n\nI don't know if any of this helps you, it's the advice I would (and have, at times) given myself, and it seems to help.  \n\nGood Luck
201455
I think that you two may need a brake from each other. Maybe you guys just need to think about it and see what you lives are like without one another.
1072105
i think we have the same problem. i'm sorry it happened that way but im sure trying to work things out is easiest by talking things over and doing wat is best for BOTH of you.\nGOOD LUCK!
1148009
i got out of a long relationship too. I think that if it was a year ago, you may be holding on. even if you're not holding on, I think that you should come to love you as a you and not as a you and him. It's a wonderful thing, being in a relationship and having soneone care about you. but all the same, it's wonderful to be single and to grow as an individual. I wish you the best of luck with what ever happens, but just as an ending thought... the greatest thing in the world is to know haw to belong to oneself. (montaigne)
754933
When you are not moving in for financial reasons of saving money.... Your moving in because you would like to start a life together...  Make sure you date for a year at least to make sure you can experience any red flags, ya know personality dis functions.
776856
think about the reasons you spilt up.   if you got back together it could all repeat it self  i would stick with the new girlfriend never go backwards move forward   good luck
441703
It is easy to sit here looking in and say leave, but only you know what is right for you. If you are asking this question then you already have one foot out the door only you can decide if you want to walk all the way out. Look deep inside yourself and decide what you really want and what bothers you in the relationship. Tell him how you feel and if things don't change put that other foot out and start your new life.
1002354
Sit down with him and tell him exactly what you posted. Well, maybe leave out the 'loathe' part but he deserves to know the rest. \n\nDon't stay with someone simply because of the financial obligations YOU have. That's unfair to both parties.