My hubby and I dont sit and talk about our problems what should I do?
480523
hi Jennifer, i think this man loves u but he has a problem with u so whenever u get closer to him he feels like doing something to u. just find the right time and talk things over. but please do it in a respectful manner. and also about the divorce do not think about that yet cos you have children with this man so if u go ahead with it, it will affect your children. but if things gets out of hand u better live before he harms u.
912252
My hubby did that for the longest time too.  I finally told him we needed counseling.  Now after nearly 10 years together we can sit down and talk about it.  We've made it a priority to never go to sleep with each other angry.  I've also been more verbal about why I am upset etc.  Some guys think that if they hug you etc then woman are okay. It has taken us some time but we are closer than when we first said our vows.  If both of you go to counseling together and separately you can learn how to talk to one another.  Don't make the mistake of assuming or thinking he should know how you feel.  Communication is not always easy but you are right to say it is important.  You need to ask him why he doesn't talk to you about it.  You shouldn't shun your emotions either.  Just talk to him whether he wants to hear or not.  Tell him how you feel but try not to make him feel cornered.  It's hard when you are newly married isn't it?  It all boils down to both of you not understanding the other.  It can be that way in all relationships.  I hope you guys work things out and seek counseling of some kind.  Good luck and congratulations.
951590
Weeeeeeelllll, if YOU think/feel it to be a problem, then go seek counseling.\n\nmb
915930
girl you need a rest. Try to foccus on something else for awhile. Is it amed. reason you have this problem?  Try to build a relationship with your hubby that is strong enough to be without children. Take trips, do exciting things now while you can, and enjoy just the two of you for now. time for children will come later when you both have setled down and know each other better. Your stress of having children maybe hurting you. Build a life on just the two of you first. You must be happy with him and you first before you have children. children cannot be the reason for the two of you to be happy. It will never work. I talk from experence. My children have learned that babies don't make a marrage work, only the two of you can do that. Do step one first and just be happy together as one. Then bring children in at the right time.
952995
Really your not fighting, your probably just bickering. Its like adult going pains especially if you just moved in together. My fiance and I were the same way. I even gave my ring back!!! but we went to a communication specialist (couples therapist) and learned some tricks to communicating. I know its hard and you start thinking that things won't work out, but if you are truly meant to be, you'll be OK.  We had all the same issues you mentioned.Try this, sit and talk it out, if one of you is a blabber use a 5 min timer so you don't get off track of the topic at hand. Don't allow yourselves to deviate off topic nothing gets solved that way. Each of you should list your gripes with each other and go through the list,pick a time where you can really talk( no TV, no phones).  It will take a few tries before you can get through it with out yelling. No name calling and no blameing, start sentences like "going foward  blah blah blah"Cleaning? write up all the chores that need to get done and you together, divvy them up, then once chores are committed to on paper, its a non issue. The hard thing is  understanding that you don't get everything you want anymore it's all about 50/50( which sucks sometimes, but that's life) And there is no shame in meeting with somebody once a week if that's what you guys need, its not easy, it's one of the most stressful times in  your life. In some cases your insurance will cover it under adult therapy or under the the wide range of depression (even though its not,they just bill it that way and its legit because the situation makes you sad and stressed, don't feel labeled as depressed). Best of luck to you both
1128849
Take the time to sit and talk about your feelings. Make sure he understands that you care about what he doing, not just nagging. It is you right to know what is happening and when. If he loves and cares for you as well then he will listen and be compassionate of your feelings. Don't ever be afraid to show true emotions. Healthy relationships and marriages are based on emotions and feelings. If both parties are misunderstood then solutions become harder to achieve.\n\nHope this helps\nMatt
950078
You should have a discussion with your husband about the importance of communication.  Yes, you are still here because you love him.  He has to understand your hurt and disappointment.  You both need to agree to learn how to resolve your problems by communicating better and putting your marriage first above all else.\n\nYou said that you have been going through a rough time and  you were being stupid.  He was afraid of losing you.  If you feel like you've come a long way in your relationship, and the issues that caused the rough patch have been resolved, then let it go.  Don't throw it up in his face when something goes wrong, stick to the issue at hand.  If you don't think you can trust him, tell him so.  BUT I would encourage you both to get counseling; it will serve as a tool for you to move beyond what's happening now.  You don't want to get bogged down in resentment.\n\nIn his way, he recognized his mistake.  He distanced himself from everything associated with that situation.  He deserves a lot of credit for that.\n\nGood luck!
90089
I feel for you! \nYour husband should undersatnd that without communication between you and him, things won't get better. He needs to open up and share his feelings. You will have to let him know how you feel about your relationship with him. Tell him how you hurt inside and you need his emotional and mental support.
569515
Forget subtlety.  Tell him outright you don't like it and if it happens again you will tell your husband.  He doesn't sound like much of a friend to your husband, and hubby would probably be better off without this jerk for a friend.\n\nProtect your marriage, protect eachother.
104916
Think about these questions and their answers:\nAre you both in financial trouble?  Stress from finances can make anyone hot tempered and cause strain on marriages.  Work out a budget to get back on track, cut back on spending on unneeded items.  \n  \nIs he having trouble at work?  Encourage him to talk about it if so, to get it off of his chest.  \n\nDoes he have any hobbies, things he likes to do?  If so, encourage him to do them to help relax.  \n\nDoes he workout?  I know for me, going and doing a good workout or hitting the punching bag for a while will get rid of those feelings when I am angry.\n\nIs he insecure about something?  Does he think he is too short, too fat, too thin, etc...?  Maybe he is hot-tempered because of this.  Try to encourage him and point out his good traits.  \n\nDo you take care of him at home (sexually)?  This caused a lot of problems in my marriage when we wouldn't have sex or cuddle for months at a time.  Husbands are much happier when they are satisfied sexually.  \n\nIf none of these items apply or can help, he may just have psychological problems and should be encouraged to see a therapist or do marriage counseling to talk it out in a safe, neutral environment.  \n\nGood luck!
826608
Honesty is the BEST policy...\n\nTalk to him about what's bothering you...otherwise...what is he suppose to do? He can't read your mind. \n\nMy husband works his butt off too and comes home, showers, eats and sleeps...gets up the next day, goes to work, comes home, showers, eats and sleeps...and so on.\n\nI feel the same way you do at times, but we need to understand, (which we both do) that he is tired and drained.  This does NOT interpret that he does not love you or find you unattractive...he's just tired.\n\nTry scheduling something for you and him on his day(s) off something special to do...don't wait for him...just do it.\n\nPray for courage and uplifting...\nTry to get some sleep... :)
42846
You know your husband, so if he means what he says then forget about it. If you have some doubts about his claim, forget about it. Either way, bringing back up can only make the matter worse. IF and WHEN he wants to discuss it, it'll happen.
692936
This is a seemingly growing problem. Years ago people were together more. Now it seems we barely get time to say hi and bye. Life has changed the dynamics of relationships these days. However, it doesn't mean it's impossible to reconnect on an intimate level with your hubby.\n    You asked can you fall out of love with your hubby after 5 years? And the answer is a simple, Yes. Can you also reconnect and fall back in love? Again a simple YES! \n  The first step was the realization that there is a problem. The next step and maybe the hardest step is to change the way things are. In order to make changes, (and I know I have said this before, but I think it's worth saying again) You have to do the exact opposite of what you are doing now. Which means stop doing what you are currently doing, it's not working! You mentioned you had no "us" time, and that is what I would start with first. MAKE COUPLE TIME! Put your child to bed and sit down and watch a movie together. Try to go to bed together and if nothing else, just cuddle. Talk about your day, and how you can make tomorrow better. You each need to talk about your dreams, goals, and what you want for the future. You each will have separate goals, but you will also need goals as a couple. \nI would also recommend counseling. You can use your pastor, (if you have one) A close family friend with whom you trust and can be neutral, or a professional counselor.\nOther things that you might want to try is a "date" night for you and hubby. Get a babysitter (one you trust) and go away for the weekend once every 3-6 months. Spend quality time together as a couple. it doesn't have to cost a fortune. All you need is a desire to want things to change and a creative mind. I wish you all of the best!
498923
You two need to sit down and have a heart to heart talk about this issue - open up and reveal everything you have said here --- don't leave out anything
1035440
being silent about issues only worsens them. to have a good relationship you have to be able to discuss issues and problems.  Its good to talk about it and get it out in the open. He may think you don't care if you don't talk about it.
58315
I would just be upfront about it and spit it out. Find a non-uptight moment and sit down and explain the problem. Decide on what would be best to fix the problem and do it. Just talk it out with them.
968666
You both need to sit down with a counselor. A neutral third party will help sort it out.