will i ever get to see my 1stgrandchild again? my son never visits me. he only visits his  inlaws.?
491373
Wow. That is really unfortunate.\n\nYou probably won't like to hear this but probably the best thing is to leave your son alone and move on with your own life. I would still contact him in non-interfering ways such as to say happy birthday and maybe send him a christmas card and such. Start to slowly rebuild the relationship in this way.\n\nI imagine that there is a long term reason for some anger between you. Unless he is willing to go for some joint counselling the only thing that you can hope for is that time time will soften his stand. This assumes of course, that you can be nice to him, even if you're upset about the situation. I really don't see anything positive coming out of forcing the sitaution. You are competing with the child's parents and that is a no win situation.\n\nGood luck.
130120
I read the other questions you have out there, unfortunately I can not help you. I hope someone else can and wish you the best in your search for your family. Take care!!
950818
The question is do he talk to you about what his exes want? I would ask questions instead of flaring off at times because if he has not shown you any signs that they are still involve it shouldn't be a problem. Do they have children together? If so that could be the conversation. You two should communicate much more than you do so you will feel more comfortable about the visits. I understand the hurt. First you should go to God for answers to your marriage because He made you two and He knows best for you two. God bless you.
191027
start involving him more in the family get togethers.  On the other hand, I'm all for the family card and I'd be interested in hearing their side of the story.  Sometimes parents see what we can't because we are blinded by love:)
733099
sounds like the two of you have grown apart. to keep a relationship strong, you have to spend time together and he needs to spend time with his son as well. I'm sorry for your situation but if this continues, maybe you need to move on and find someone who will put you and your son's feelings first. love is putting the other person first.
487100
Sorry about the loss of your child.  But I think you two have ran your course and you need to move on.  This guy was not there for you and more importantly your child.  Don't take him back again.  You'll only be setting yourself up for more hurt.
1130966
my husband has a child with his ex that is one month older than ours. IT IS HARD. but i love my stepson as much as i do my kids and i have always told my husband i would never come between him and his other son he even stays with him when he is sick and just got back from a week long trip with his ex wife and son it was for his son medical reason but i wouldnt have it any other way. Just becase he has a child already dosent mean yalls wont be as special this will be his child with YOU the woman he loves and that will make all the difference trust me and if you need anyone to talk to im here and know excatly what you are going thru just email or im me.
1131485
LET IT GO........................YOU MARRIED YOUR WIFE.... NOT HER GRANDMOTHER.   YES I WOULD VISIT HER AGAIN FOR MY WIFE AS LONG AS YOUR CHILD WOULD NOT BE HURT OR MADE AWARE OF THIS HEARTLESS GRANDMOTHER'S FEELING TOWARD THE TWO OF YOU.\nDON'T GET INTO IT WITH YOUR WIFE...THIS WILL MAKE HER FEEL SHE HAS TO CHOOSE BETWEEN HER HUSBAND AND THE CHILD SHE HAS ACCEPTED AS HER OWN AND DEAR 'OLE' GRANNY.\n\nPRAY FOR GRANNY THAT THE THE LORD WILL GIVE HER A CHANGE OF HEART.  BE NICE TO HER......REMEMBER......"YOU CATCH MORE FLIES WITH HONEY".    (NOT THAT YOU WANT A BUNCH OF FLIES SWARMING AROUND ,   BUT YOU GET THE POINT.)\n\nBE HAPPY WITH YOUR WIFE AND CHILD.  THEY'RE THE ONES YOU LIVE WITH.  YOU ONLY HAVE TO PUT UP WITH "HEARTLESS  GRANNY"  EVERY NOW AND THEN.\n\nPRAY FOR STRENGTH AND ENDURANCE BEFORE YOU GO TO SEE HER.  ASK GOD TO HELP YOU TO SEE HER THROUGH "HIS" EYES AND LOVE HER WITH "HIS" HEART.\n\nGOOD LUCK WITH "HEARTLESS GRANNY".\n(HOW COULD SHE BE SO CRUEL TO A CHILD)\nI'LL PRAY FOR HER TOO.\n\nYOU AND YOUR CHILD ARE IN MY PRAYERS.\nGOD BLESS.
234787
When my son was born he became severely ill. He was taken to children's for surgery. I had just miscarried before I got pregnant with him and he was kind of my last hope. We felt awful when he didn't recover right away like they said he would. He lost a lot of weight before he started to come around, and we were there, in the hospital, for about a week and a half. Our biggest inspiration was the other parents we saw and talked too. Some had been there months waiting on transplants that probably wouldn't come. Some knew they would never take their children home, and some helped their children plan their own funerals. What was a week and a half to all that. The point is there is always someone worse off then you. You have your life and you should enjoy it. You never know when your time is up, so you better live now.
689841
I was 9 when I lost my mom. Not an important event goes by without me thinking of her and missing her. Im 28 and sometimes I get mad at HER for not being here for things like her grandchildren or to give me advice. It DOES get easier. I say this because the pain only goes on for so long then you adjust to it. Pain will be there it just won't be as horrible as it seemed in the beginning. I just hope to see her someday when its my time. It sucks more than anything in the world to lose a parent. My advice is n to see a counsler or better yet find others who have lost parents and share stories and tears if need be. Your on a good start here finding others. Maybe there is a loss support group in your area. I didn't like the counslers when I was younger due to the fact we had no connection. They didn't lose their mom but wanted to talk to me about my loss. Good-luck and keep your head up. Remember God doesn't give us more then we can handle (sometimes it feels like it)
760126
Maybe nothing. Since he's been treating you like this, I don't think any word you say would carry any weight. He just won't listen or care. Try to bury the past in your heart along with your grief and hurt. It will take you a while to heal, but you will be fine. THis man is long gone, even though he's still around. I just hope that this experience will make you a stronger and more loving woman. Best wishes to you and your children.
731698
why don't you start with this:\n\nhttp://genealogy.about.com/cs/adoption/a/adoption_search.htm\n\nWe just found out my mother in law had a baby in the late 50's.  She was contacted by her son (who lives in Australia) and they've been corresponding ever since.  She was 'forced' to give up her child, and no one knew about him except my MIL and her siblings.  It was a very scary thing for my MIL to 'confess' to her family there was another child before them.  But it's a great weight off her shoulders.  She is happy to know her son had a good life and is not angry with her for giving him up.
403164
yeah you should talk to him. just start by saying"so you coming to my sons birthday paty?" and just go from there. it wont be so bad!!!Good luck!!!!:)
252367
Everyone grows up sooner or later.  However, that he had nothing to do with your child for seven years raises a big question in my mind.  Will he be there later?  Is he here to stay?  He owes the answers to your child and to you.\n\nObviously you have had a thing for him this whole time, and he for you.  People don't stop speaking to each other because of indifference.  \n\nGive it a chance, but make sure you know the answers to those questions.  You owe it to yourself and your kid.\n\nGood luck!
1069148
I just lost my father 6 months ago.  It was very unexpected.. We had our ups and downs through the yrs, but reconciled abouth 5 months before he passed. i NEver got the chance to say good-bye.  But I know he watches over me, and my son.  And ppl probably think I'm crazy for saying this: but i talk to him every night before I go to sleep. Can't say that I know for sure he hears me, but I think he does. I'm not real religious, but I believe i'll see him again someday. He's only gone from this earth, not my heart. So I try to remember the good times we had (though few), funny things he'd say or do. Or the quality time he spent with me when he could. And even though I miss him, my memories always have him near to me.
923543
Wow, Paul. Creepy. I agree that that these recent events may seem 'cosmic' in nature, but some of these things may seem suddenly more related because you have her on your mind. Constantly.  Kind of like when you learn a new word or phrase, and then it seems like you hear that word or phrase constantly right after that. Know what I mean?\n\nI think you've become obsessed with her, and you're not really thinking this through.\n\nFirst of all, have you discussed this with your son?  How does he feel about getting to know his mother after all these years? If you contact this woman, that may become a reality, and your son may have a different idea about that.\n\nHow would your wife react to this?  \n\nMost importantly, what purpose would it serve?  I think you have this fairy-tale idea that you'll become pals again and all will suddenly be well.  In reality, you'll be dredging up years of resentment, anger, and disappointment, especially where your son is concerned.  \n\nIs it really worth it?\n\nI can tell you that the reality of the results of such an endeavor will rarely live up to your hopes.\n\nDon't look at all these recent events as a MESSAGE.  That's an EXCUSE.  You want us to encourage you to do this thing.\n\nI'm not gonna do it.\n\nGood Luck,\n\nPolly
856183
I am not a only child but I am the youngest. I am 45 years old and never wanted children as you don't. I love kids alot, but just didn't ever want to have any. I have lost both of my parents, my Mom just recently. My parents had grandchildren from my other siblings, but my nieces and nephews treated my Mom like a piece of you know what. My Mom was glad I never had children thank goodness. Sometimes I would ask my Mom what I will do when I get old and have no one to come and see me or help me in any sort of way. My Mom had the best answer that could have been given. She said, just because someone has kids, doesn't mean any of them will help take care of you or come to see you. That is so true. I took care of my Mom for the last nearly 6 years of her life and my brother and sister-in-law only came by our house to see us about once every 3 months. Sometimes it was longer than that. My sister never came around unless she wanted something. Just tell your Mom that you and your husband both agreed before marriage that neither one of you wanted children. It is best to just tell her and get it over with. She may be hurt or angry, but it will pass. It is your life with your husband and your husband is your family. Do not under any circumstances have a child you don't want in the first place just to please your Mom or anyone else. It would make things alot worse on you and your husband. Plus it wouldn't be fair to the child either. I also knew at a very early age that I didn't want children. I love kids, but I want the ones I can keep for a while and send back home to their own parents. LOL  Just tell your Mom and get it over with. Get the burden off of your shoulders and you will feel better. Good luck.