How do you handle  a family member that you do not trust who has hurt you deeply in the past?
484918
Sounds like a parent, I could be wrong. Trust is something that is very hard to regain.If you still love love them let them know it. If its validation, or approval you want, no one can please you as much as yourself.If you know you are doing the right and are happy. That is all thet matters.If it is guilt, they should feel guilty.Don't always trust your feelings in these matters, Nobody likes to be hurt deeply twice. Especialy by the same person.
114650
Forgiving is to choose not to fight anymore, the forgetting part doesn't come automatically, it's a process, so don't beat yourself up.\n\nIt is perfectly acceptable to feel wary of them. Being betrayed by a family member is the worst kind of betrayal there is, because it's so unexpected.\n\nIf you have not discussed your feelings about what happened with your accusers personally, maybe you should. Be frank. You said the e-mail made you smile, it sounds like the wound is healing, that's a good sign. Take things slow! And be careful, Jesus wants us to forgive but He doesn't want you to put yourself in a bad situation. \n\nGood luck with your situation.\nAnd remember, you're not alone.
1056491
i think you'll have to wait awhile...come to terms with what happened...you don't have 2 forgive someone right after they hurt you or a loved one deeply. i figure that as long as you're not out to kill them you're ok. remember God doesn't expect you to LOVE this person...he's probably angry at what they did too- and give it some time.
344115
record it with a hidden cam corder. If she abuses you , she is more then likey to abuse others too. in my family this kinda stuff happpened too . it drove a space between me and my older sister, i hated her then and now i have little to no contact to her because she treats other still like that in her thirtys. some people need to feel as if they are in control and have the power. I dont want you to end up the tatel tail but if it was my child i would listen. Abuse is abuse no matter whos hand it comes by.
531119
Try to find it in your heart to see this person as just a sad someone who will never be as fabulous as you are.  Cultivate compassion and forgiveness for him or her, and be happy that you are nothing like him or her.\nDo not forget this person though, or the harm he or she has done to you, and recognise the lessons that this person has taught you about your own feelings.  \n\n"Forgive them Father, for they know not what they do".\n\nLove is always the stronger force, and hate leads to your own personal destruction.  Let go of the anger and find the peace and you will be all the more a better person for it.
264137
I don't think there are any words or anything anyone can say that will make this better for you and your friends family.  Acts like this are absolutely senseless!  Hatred is never easy to understand or make sense of and in this case it is senseless.  Just hold your friends memory in your heart and he will always be alive for you.  Continue on with the good you were doing, that can be the best legacy for the bad in this case.  I will be thinking of you.
611766
You "suspect" a relative did something to you? You are not even positive the relative did anything to you.\n\nTake the mature way of handling this and ask the relative if your "suspicion" is correct. You don't hit somebody for something that you don't even know if it is true. Hitting never solves anything. Wouldn't you like to settle this situation and get it out of your life? It's always a lot worse in your mind than it really is when you face it.
1113769
People always have some kind of situation like this.  Well I don't understand why your mother and brother would insult her in any way, but that is something that a best friend would not want to here from their best friend's family.  If it hurts you that you feel as if your best friend is not considering you their best friend anymore, speak to them and tell them the complete truth.  Hang around other friends too, and try to get close to them also.  As time goes by people change, but you can't make another person feel the way you do.
390299
Unfortunately, even though it is wrong to reject family members for that reason, it happens alot. But tell them anyways. Don't ever hide who you are! Don't ever feel like who you are is wrong because they do not agree or approve! You never know, they could be cool with it. You can not change who you are and if anyone, family member or not, can not except you, then it is better off that that person is no longer in your life. Good luck!
242328
Hmmm... a tough question.  This really depends on you and only you.  You have to decide whether your family is more important that the love of your life.  When you do, are you willing to deal with the consequences?\n\nIf you choose her over your family, are they going to continue being supportive or will they scorn her for the rest of your happy days?  Will they continue to talk to you or have nothing to do with you?  Are you ready for whatever may happen?  There are many things you have to consider, which may or may not be listed here.  \n\nIn choosing her, you must consider everything.  If she is still a callgirl or whatever, are you comfortable?  Can you tolerate her sharing herself with other men for a living?  Appearently you are comfortable to be with her knowing her past.  Can you deal with the future?  You must consider a lot when you are about to go against your family for the sake of love.  If you choose her and find that her life and her choices had led to a seperation, can you cope the loss of your family if they decided to austercize you?  What are her plans for the future?  Are you in agreement with most of them or do you think that you will change her?  Be weary of trying to change someone just because you love them - sometimes they are dreams only to be shattered.\n\nThere are a lot of questions that only you can answer.  I can only provide the mechanism to get you thinking.  Good luck.
1010729
I'm going through a similar situation because of things I did years ago.  They never really trust you again. Not fully anyway.  It is always there, waiting for the opportunity to show up and force you to feel guilty about something.  I've been going through this for 13yrs.  It hasn't gotten any better.  Maybe you need to learn from your mistake and move on. I don't know why I stayed,but I wish I hadn't.
995789
i would try to reconcile but under your conditions. if you dont want to go to family get togethers and such then dont. explain that too them, if they cant accept it then at least you tried.
847922
Tell your grandmother you have pled her case as far as you can, that you are not responsible for mending a relationship that they destroyed.  \nThen, firmly, with a smile and kind gesture, tell your grandma that you are here now and want a relationship with her, but only if she is willing to let the past go, completely, and not try to wrangle you in the middle of it again.  Then, let her decide. And, let her actions tell you what to do.  \n\nRemember, your mother isn't speaking to this woman for reasons you can only guess at, unless you want to be the brunt of this old woman's meanness too, you set the rules and then follow them.\n\nPeople are always nice when they want something from you, as your grandma did when she asked you to talk to your mother for her, you are her only link to her daughter. You saw what happened, how she reacted, when you failed to give her what she wanted. Beware.\n\nKeep your heart open, but don't be fooled.
614821
Worst thing that you could do to your family??  Directly?  Indirectly?\n\nAnything can be forgiven if the one who is guilty of the transgression toward the family goes to each one of them, sincerely apologizes, and never repeats the transgression.\n\nUnfortunately, it will be up to the individual whether or not they are willing to forgive you.  Also, just because you're forgiven doesn't mean you will be allowed back into lives.  You can forgive someone; but you, very seldom, will allow them close enough to ever hurt you again. \n\nForgiveness from anyone is not a ticket to putting a relationship back where it was before the betrayal, and it's a very thin consolation for losing the trust of family. Sorry.
297832
Write to her and tell her how she's made you feel, and how her actions have affected you. I'm sorry you are having a hard time. Do you get the chance to talk to your dad about these things? An aunt, uncle, grandparent, Godparent, teacher, councilor? Find someone off that list that you feel at ease with, and just let it all out. They know you better than anyone else you could hear from on this thing. Those are the people you should be talking to sweetie.
677282
Don't do anything.  Don't let this person think that what they do affects you.  Be the better person.
762119
You can either continue to let them victimize you, or show them and all the world you are not the person they have treated you like...You can forgive them and get on with your life...or let them haunt and torment you for another fifteen years...the choice is yours...Many people have lived through similar lifestyles, and tortures..and came out above it...if you research a site called,..www.rethink.org.....you can find many stories of how people rose above it and had great success...the world is yours for the taking.