is it  wrong  for me to ask my two teenage  kids my kids  about  my ex wife  bisness whu shes talking to and w
492803
16 years?  Your not one to hold on.  huh?\n\n\nGet a life.  Don't use your kids and make them like you.\n\nI'm sure they wouldn't want to dig up bones for 16 years.\n\n.
1151427
well he had the kids with her so she will never be out of ur lives.just ignore her let her play her games but do not pay attention 2 them.limit ur conversations 2 only talking about the children when she tries 2 change the subject just say yeah well have 2 talk about that another time or tell her straight out I do not want 2 hear it. if u stop listening 2 it and she sees she cannot get a reaction out of either of u she will eventually stop.
959946
this is a tough one.  its hard to find your balance after a divorce.  do you think he wants you back or is he trying to maintain some kind of friendship?  i think you should just tell him.  if he severs contact with the kids then maybe thats not such a bad thing for them.  why should they have to deal with a sometimes dad who doesnt put them first?  if he is that immature then maybe they are better off.  it is hard to make decisions that may do harm on your kids especially when they are too young to truly understand.  my ex does the same thing.  i just limit the contact as much as possible.  also when he calls, you could just put one of the kids on the phone.  eventually he would get the point.  good luck.
765483
People with nothing to hide, hide nothing.  If he refuses to tell you where your own children are, he is hiding something.  You have every right to ask to meet the person your children are spending time with.  You need to know that they are not in any kind of danger.  Assure your ex that you are not going to be cross with the person, but that you just want to know that he isn't leaving the kids with some crack-addict ho.  (Don't say that...just tell him you will be nice)  If he still refuses, you need to have a serious talk with him.  If he is afraid of your actions only, then you should still be able to meet the person.  If he is hiding something, you should do whatever you need to find out what it is.  \nIt IS YOUR BUSINESS!  They are your children and your responisbility to be sure they are safe!
177622
The game playing has to STOP!! The two of you need to sit down together and talk without yelling just talk about everything and then try and decide what is the best for the both of you! It a serious matter you have a child involved and need to figure it out but please don't get back together just because you have a daughter because if you and your ex wife aren't happy its going to cause alot of problems and its going to be a real bad environment for everyone! My closet friend is going through this right now I have so many friends that are in the same situation, You have to remember that you as a person deserves to be happy! You and your ex need to work it out so you can see your daughter more no matter what happens because she is the most important person RIGHT NOW!!! You can always try counseling maybe you and your ex could go work together not against each other! GOOD LUCK i hope that i helped
1116885
You should sit down with your children and see if they have any questions or comments to make concerning the divorce.\n\nChildren often have a difficult time with divorce so you may have to had many conversations with them in order to get them to understand that the divorce was not their fault, and that it happens - not every couple is meant to stay together.\nThey may also wonder what is in the future for them now that their parents are divorced.  The children may have many questions and fears - so address those questions and fears - and find out where your children's heads are.\n\nGod bless and good luck!
1068760
Ask her about it before you ruin a family with BS allegations.
831823
Gossip is just gossip... It derives its power from denial.  Tell the truth, speak of the abuse.  Tell your kids, which is the truth, that you no longer could live with your ex (or soon to be ex). Don't burden them with the reasons why, then they will take sides even more than they have.  Just tell them that you still love them and they will always have you.  And tell them that sometimes adults are better parents separately than when they were together.\n\nSure your ex is going to bad moth your to your kids and others but if you continue to rise above the accusation long enough your kids will learn by example that they can rely on you, and that is the most important thing.  Once they gain that perspective, things are likely to return to normal.\n\nWith everyone else, own up to it.  If you do that, it will soon become yesterday's news.  there is not a single person who have thought of stepping out on their "significant other" at some time.  The guilt of those thoughts are the basis of their gossip.  it makes them feel better than they really are.
283848
I myself am now just getting my divorce finalized at the end of the month. The amount of time varies with how comfortable you feel about seeing another person. It takes some time to get adjusted to the "single life". I have to agree that you don't want to introduce your children to someone that isn't serious. It's bad enough you had your heart broken by someone but you don't want your kids to go thru that over and over. It doesn't make you look good as a parent and your kids will grow up seeing you differently. Bottom line is there is no set time limit. It's all on how and when you feel yourself when you are ready.
1019433
In my opinion.  You should not introduce your kids to someone you are dating, unless you know for sure that you are planning a future together....\n\nIf it doesn't work out, and you start dating someone else.  The kids won't be meeting different people....\n\nSee where the relationship is going first.....\n\nGOOD LUCK!
223111
I am a mother and wife, and an ex-wife. I "left" my children's' biological father because he was abusive and a closet drug abuser. The "value" of my family was and still is everything to me. Just because I put my children's' lives and best interests in front of my own personal feelings doesn't mean that family has no value to me.....it means that I did what I had to do to make a better life for my family. And my ex. had every opportunity to see his children but thought and still thinks that there are things in life more important....how sad for him. Maybe you should look into your legal options in your state as far as visitation with your child goes....and I wish you well with that because every child deserves to have two parents that love and care for them. As far as the "women" that left you because of petty little things....well maybe you should re-evaluate your decisions on whom you date.
883001
The first and only thing you need to worry about is getting your life back on track...lose the friend that you think is two faced...and call and write to your daughter as often as possible...My ex husband has my son so I know where you are coming from.  I don't know what your ex. is getting at by saying you would have a "ruined" daughter on your hands but sounds to me like HE is the ruined one and he has failed to provide her with the love and attention that she needs to grow and feel emotionally confident.  Get your self financially stable in your own home and all that jazz...then after a couple of years of calling and writing and visiting as often as you can maybe you and your daughter will begin to rebuild your relationship and find the love that has been forgotten through the divorce...In other words your child needs to know that she is loved!  So you need to SHOW that you love her!
229066
My opinion would be: start to once again see your ex. But on a "haven't seen you in years so what's up" type of seeing him. Get to know him once again. Maybe even do some volunteering that you can do with bringing you child (if their old enough, have them help out too). Invite your ex to come & volunteer too. While volunteering you can see what he's like around people he doesn't know and in an environment he's not used to. Plus you can see how he acts around your kid & if your kid likes him (most important). \n\nAfter everything has had time to "settle" and you know if you could have another relationship (after going over everything that you have noticed and if your kid likes him), then you can contemplate whether or not if you'd want to be with him. If it's mutual with you both, then that's when I would bring up the point with your current husband. Talk to him about you & him only (don't bring up your ex AT ALL). From his answers and reactions to what you're telling him (with you saying he's becoming to controlling), then you can decide if you should get a divorce. If that does occur, then you will have your ex that you can go back to. He will be there for both you and your kid. Plus if a divorce does occur, and everything works out, then you can get married. \n\nWouldn't know, but maybe when you talk to your husband have some friends &/or family with you too. For many reasons such as support, their side of the story, and if anything happens...hopefully not (DON'T have your kid there. have them with say your mom, out for the day)\n\nIf your husband does find out about you seeing your ex, he can’t accuse you of cheating, if you spend time volunteering with your kid, or participate in events that you work with other people, but also work with your ex too. So you truly won’t be cheating\n\nHope whatever happens, everything works out!!
620022
umm- talk to her (duh)- why does everyone ask these questions- you know the answer before you even ask it- anything anyone can tell you is not always good advice\n\ndon't ever get between her and the kids- it's a sure fired way to end any chance you got (now, did you really need me to tell you that...? I'm sure you already knew)
806251
Obviously there were some serious problems in your marriage.  Seeing as how she's now your ex-wife, you're asking this question a little late, and asking if of the wrong people.  You should've asked her.  If you have a good relationship with her, you might try to get it out of her one day, maybe she'll tell you what happened with her in your relationship.  If I were to bet on it, I'd bet you took her for granted, you stopped courting her.  She felt like you didn't care about her anymore, so she went out and found someone who does.  I'm not condoning her actions, because I firmly believe that marriage is a lifelong committment, and you fix the problems in the marriage, and divorce really isn't an option.  But obviously you weren't giving her what she needed in your relationship.  Sorry......You probably need to just move on with your life.
117194
How long have you been together?  If it has only been a short time the kid might be testing you. Do you plan on a future together? If not move on now. Be very careful how you talk about the smarting off and back talk she could take very personal. Maybe the kid thinks you are in the way and this is a way to get you out of the picture.
1159976
My ex-wife does the same,but she quit once I moved out of state. But she still uses the kids against me. My parents did the same to each other,that's why I don't do it to my kids. I guess what I am trying to say is you cant control what they do only what you do. Good Luck