Is shyness really just a form of narcissism?
490698
I tend to agree. (Note the quote says an "element" of narcissism, not that shy people = narcissists).  \nThere is something very egocentric about believing that you and your appearance really matters to other people.\n\nThat doesn't mean that shy people are "bad" or "egotistical", but they are putting way too much emphasis on the impact they think they have on other people.
350809
It's most probably just because she's shy.
1057495
NO! I'm WAY too shy!!!!
594162
I don't know that the people are necessarily shy. I think that it is easier to ask and answer questions on Answers because I am not emotionally connected to the other people. When you know someone, your emotions can sometimes cloud the way that you tend to look at circumstances. It is nice in a sense that the receiver of your answer is unable to argue back when you say something that is right on target!
1184140
she may have some other issues going on, it may just be acute shyness, or it could be something like an avoidant personality disorder.  http://www.toad.net/~arcturus/dd/avoid.htm#1  there is help available, but it's not easy.\nHas she had big 'rejections' in her life?  I know I live by the maxim of 'everyone will leave me' and quite often it destroys relationships before they've started.  I am working on things and getting better, but it takes time.  Dealing with rejections needs professional help, counselling or CBT.
246592
maybe  you are  very shy or insecure...  why not    take a class or  read a book on becoming more assertive ?
664949
Sounds to me like you need friends who will encourage you and be confidence builders. You're going it alone and your shyness is holding you back and this is where good friends will step in and give you support. Reach out, make friends who will help you feel more secure about yourself. Some of us here list our emails and message links to be of help. Take advantage of this and the experience others may have that can offer you support and advice as friends should.\n\nBest Wishes!!
549127
If you have honestly tried your best to fight your shyness with little , or no, success, you might need to go to the doctor, and be put on some medication for it. I, too, am shy, but I fight it every day, and "make" myself talk to people, and interact. Good Luck!!
1064485
How about anything that will put you in social situations. Im not saying that to be mean, Im just saying that shyness is not something you need to just live with. Break free of it. I was extremely shy just a few years ago. I overcame this by becoming an xray tech. I know its not a glamorous job, but I it has helped. When you are around people screaming in pain all day long, the last thing on your mind is saying the wrong thing. I can talk freely to anyone now. Think about it.
954099
Usually being shy is an indicator of not being confident. When you find out someone is interested in you it naturally makes you feel as though they are observing you (no more hiding in the background). You have come to someones attention and they approve.....so far......now the pressure is on to not make any social mistakes so that they won't figure out you aren't who they thought you were.\n\nThat is my amateur psychology opinion anyway.
849977
When I was in school, I was as kind and polite as I could possibly be to all of the girls I knew.  I would smile, try to be pleasant, open the door for ladies (my mother would slap me if I didn’t), etc.  However, despite these actions I was generally very shy.  Even when there was a girl whom I liked, I would consciously and carefully avoid showing any special attention to her.  I would just try to look for signs that she liked me and that it was *okay* with her for me to like her.  \n\nI hope this helps.  It is possible for seemingly outgoing guys to actually be very shy.  It’s a form of cover-up.
162344
Everyone feels shy sometimes, but being too shy can hamper many aspects of your life.\n \n \nSteps:\n1.  Determine why you're shy in the first place. For example, are you scared of what someone might say about your physical appearance? Remember, there's an underlying reason for how you react in situations.\n \n2.  Act as if you're not shy. In private, behave as if you're oozing confidence. Hold your chin up, stick your chest out, add a swagger to your walk and speak firmly. It may seem ridiculous, but you will see results when you're out in public.\n \n3.  Practice making eye contact and smiling in your interactions with others. Strike up casual conversations with strangers about weather or current events.\n \n4.  Look your best. One way to improve self-consciousness is to always look good and limit ways you can be self-critical.\n \n5.  Lower your fear of rejection by imagining the worst possible outcome. If you approach someone, they may say "no" or they may just walk away. Absolutely everybody has been rejected at some point, but no one has to dwell on it.\n \n6.  Look and learn. Watching friends or even strangers who aren't shy is a good way to learn some tips first-hand.\n \n7.  Feel positive about yourself, don't get frustrated and have fun. Remember, the real goal is to find someone who will like you for who you are.
55785
I used to be very shy, and it would infuriorate me that suddenly when the spotlight was on me, everything smart, or witty, or interesting, simply flew out of my brain. (Especially with people in authority or people of the opposite sex).  In college, this shyness started negatively effecting my grades. (No class participation).  What I finally did was enroll in a speech class. It was terrifying, but soon I started feeling more self-confident, and even got a promotion at work.  People perceive you in a certain way, no matter how incorrect that assumption is.  It is up to you to take control, and show people who you really are.
812210
Overcoming Shyness and Social Phobia\nShyness, (sometimes inaccurately called 'social phobia'), affects most people at some time in their life. Young people in particular find overcoming shyness difficult as they improve their social skills. And for some, shyness seems to persist into adult life, almost as if it has become a 'habit'.\n\nShyness has its roots in self consciousness and usually dissipates as people mature and become more experienced. However, for some it can 'stick', and then action is required.\n\nAlthough most people think in terms of 'overcoming shyness', it is more likely that you will become comfortable in social situations by learning the strategies of self confidence along with social skills. Then, shyness is no longer the issue, as social nerves will melt away as a new 'habit' takes their place.\n\nShyness versus Social Phobia\n\nIt is my personal opinion that social phobia is too often diagnosed where people are simply experiencing natural shyness. It is perfectly natural to be a little timid in a situation where you don't yet know the 'rules', or what to do. In fact, most people experience some degree of nerves when, say going to meet friends, especially if it is somewhere they haven't been before, or someone new will be there.\n\nWe have to be very careful not to assume that there is something wrong with this. Social nerves are natural, as long as they don't get out of hand. Focusing on them and making them into a 'big thing' will only make matters worse.\n\nWhen learning about social situations, young people need the chance to find their own way, without being labeled with 'social phobia'. This is not to say that social phobia does not exist; I know it does because I have worked with people suffering from it. However, in the vast majority of cases, the solution is social skills training, and perhaps relaxation and rehearsal, rather than drugs.\n\nIf a person can maintain a degree of calmness in a situation, then they are much more likely to be able to learn about how the situation works. However, if they are highly anxious and internally focused, both their emotional state and focus of attention will make it more difficult to pick up on subtle social cues.\n\nThe other key point about overcoming shyness is that most of socialising is an unconscious process. That doesn't mean you should be asleep when you're doing it (tell that to people I speak to at parties ;-), it simply means that much of human communication is non-verbal. That is, 'it's not what you say, it's the way that you say it'.\n\nIf you become highly anxious, this will tend to focus your conscious mind on your immediate environment, getting in the way of those unconscious processes.\nTips For Overcoming Shyness\nCheck out the tips in the article on self consciousness, particularly the ones to do with where you focus your attention.\n\n    * Practise becoming fascinated by other people. Ask them about themselves, and concentrate when they answer you. Remember what they tell you about themselves so you can talk about it later, or on another occasion.\n\n\n    * Great socialisers make other people feel comfortable and interesting. How do they do that? By being really, genuinely interested in other people. If you are talking to someone and you feel boring or inferior, ask why that is. Is it really all your fault?\n\n\n    * Practise using fewer 'personal pronouns' when you talk about things. Sentences beginning with 'I' are not only a turn-off for the listener, they also keep the focus of attention on you, which increases shyness. (Note: Of course, part of friendship is giving away things about yourself, but only when you feel it is appropriate to do so.)\n\n\n    * Remember that the way to overcome shyness is to focus elsewhere. Like on imagining what it will be like to really enjoy the social event, on how it will feel to be fu
780514
No.  People tend to mistake our reserved behavior for being shy.  We tend to observe people before we get to know them.  We don't just put ourselves out there.  We try to really get to know people before trusting them.  But we're not shy.  We're usually the one at the party that's standing on the side in deep conversation with someone else.
302128
Shyness. some adults suffer from it too.
789690
The short and the long of it is: no. In general, there is a strong compulsive strand in the narcissist's behaviour. He is driven to exorcise internal demons by means of ritualistic acts. The narcissist's very pursuit of Narcissistic Supply is compulsive. The narcissist seeks to recreate and reenact old traumas, ancient, unresolved conflicts with figures of (primary) importance in his life. \n\nThe narcissist feels that he is "bad" and diffusely guilty and that, therefore, he should be punished. So, he makes sure that he is disciplined. These cycles possess the tint and hue of compulsion. In many respects, narcissism can be defined as an all-pervasive obsessive-compulsive disorder. \n\nThe narcissist is faced with difficult conditions in his childhood: either neglect, abandonment, capriciousness, arbitrariness, strictness, sadistic behaviour, abuse (physical, psychological, or verbal) - or doting, "annexation" and "appropriation" by a narcissistic and frustrated parent. \n\nThe narcissist develops a unique defence mechanism: a story, a narrative, another self. This False Self is possessed of all the qualities that can insulate the child from an ominous and hostile world. It is perfect, omnipotent, omniscient, and omnipresent. In short: it is divine. \n\nThe narcissist develops a private religion with the False Self at its centre. It is replete with rites, mantras, scriptures, and spiritual and physical exercises. The child worships this new deity. He succumbs to what he perceives to be its wishes and its needs. He makes sacrifices of Narcissistic Supply to it. He is awed by it because it possesses many of the traits of the hallowed tormentors, the parents. \n\nThe child reduces his True Self, minimises it. He is looking to appease the new Divinity – not to incur its wrath. He does so by adhering to strict schedules, ceremonies, by reciting texts, by self-imposition of self-discipline. Hitherto, the child is transformed into the servant of his False Self. Daily, he caters to its needs and offers to it Narcissistic Supply. And he is rewarded for his efforts: he feels elated when in compliance with the creed, he emulates the characteristics of this entity.\n\nSuffused with Narcissistic Supply, his False Self content, the child feels omnipotent, untouchable, invulnerable, immune to threats and insults and omniscient. On the other hand, when Narcissistic Supply is lacking – the child feels guilty, miserable, and unworthy. The Superego then takes over: sadistic, ominous, cruel, suicidal – it chastises the child for having failed, for having sinned, for being guilty. It demands a self-inflicted penalty to cleanse, to atone, to let go. \n\nCaught between these two deities – the False Self and the Superego - the child is compulsively forced to seek Narcissistic Supply. Success in this pursuit holds both promises: an emotional reward and protection from the murderous Superego.\n\nThroughout, the child maintains the rhythms of regenerating his conflicts and traumas in order to try and resolve them. Such resolution can be either in the form of punishment or in the form of healing. But since healing means letting go of his system of beliefs and deities – the child is more likely to choose punishment. \n\nThe narcissist strives to reenact old traumas and open old wounds. For instance, he behaves in ways that make people abandon him. Or he becomes rebellious in order to be chastised by figures of authority. Or he engages in criminal or antisocial activities. These types of self-defeating and self-destructive behaviours are in permanent interaction with the False Self.\n\nThe False Self breeds compulsive acts. The narcissist seeks for his Narcissistic Supply compulsively. He wants to be punished compulsively. He generates resentment or hatred, switches sexual partners, becomes eccentric, writes articles and makes scientific discoveries – all compulsively. There is no joy in his life or in his a