how good should my relation be with my stepmother?
489577
Try to be kind and understand that she loves your dad and wants to live a happy life.  She can be a great ally.  Being a step-parent can be horrifically difficult, she must really love your Dad. Ask her advice from time to time and really listen.  That does not mean that you have to take the advice, just that you value hearing her opinion.  It can really open up the relationship.  Take it easy, no need to rush.  If you rush, it is easy to make a misstep and get hurt feelings that can harm the relationship.
1350
First thing I'd suggest is knowing your opponent .. in laymens terms .. ask your girlfriend as much about your parents as you can such as culter attitude and so on .. and past experiences with her last boyfriends that have had the in some cases unfortunante opportunity of meeting them. Once you know what type of people you'll be dealing with you'll be more at ease knowing you can handle what difficulties may come from them.
631997
As long as she has no genetic connection to you .\nIt is perfectly legal and natural.\nShe is just another woman that just so happens to be your Father`s new wife`s child.\nThat is what I call keeping it in the family.\nGOOD LUCK.
63136
Your experience isn't everyone's experience, unfortunately. Many kids have great step-parents, sometimes better than the life they had before. Not knowing your particular situation, is it possible that you haven't given your "step" a real chance? Have you really tried to let them in? Have you tried talking to them about stuff that's important to you? Have you tried asking them about what's important to them? In other words, have you really tried to make the relationship work? Maybe they're mean to you because you give them your "attitude" when they try to be a parent. Everyone knows that no one can take the place of your parent. But, obviously, your other parent saw something in them that they fell in love with. Now you have to make the best of it. Movies like The Parent Trap and others of that sort are just movies. If you think that shutting your "step" out will make your other parent think twice about their marriage, think again. Think about really trying, no matter how "suckie" they are. Remember, if you act like you think they are, what does that make you? My attitude is, give people what they DON'T deserve. Who knows? They just might start acting like the way you treat them. <*)))><
910918
Hmmmmm....depends on if you have any connections with him!  Like: my hairdresser's 2nd cousin's neighbor is his maid!   I DUNNO!!!
526708
Girlfriend you are a true Christian, but come on. You are going to have to confront her and let her know that she really needs to increase her circle of friends. It is commendable that you open your heart and home for your husband's ex, for the sake of your step daughter but you have to set some boundaries...because she is totally taking advantage of you. I would take her aside and  tell her Enough is Enough! You would rather her take the responsibility of dealing with the child as a parent. While you want to be there for the child you are in essence enabling this woman to pawn of the reality of her personal responsibility off to you. She obviously knows not to engage your husband so she gets in any way she can.  Think about it.
857492
I know this is a hard situation...my biological Dad left when I was 2 yrs old. I'm now 32 and have never seen or heard from him. Maybe your Dad is just more comfortable talking about the 3 stepdaughters because he knows them better and it's something to talk about to keep the conversation going. You've come this far, I'd probably go ahead and meet him while I had the chance. Then at least you've satisfied your curiosity and met him and then you can maybe put it to rest. You never know, it may turn out better than expected. I say go for it...you never have to see him again if you don't want to.Also, next time you talk to him tell him that you have some great kids and tell some stories about each of them.
452263
I appreciate you for taking care of the step daughter.  Do not worry about your mother-in-law or sister-in-law.  People always talk and wait for opportunities to find faults. Play your role as a mother to all your three kids and be happy.  You be a good mom as you have always been.  Remember your stepdaughter knows of no other mom other than you and to her you mean everything. I am sure your husband will understand this and try to make his mother understand. Good luck.
29918
If there is no father, the state takes it. If the father and stepmother aren't married anymore or the father is dead and there is no will, the former stepmother has no connection to the child.
766613
When I became a stepmother, (many moons ago) I had the same problem.  The youngest actually liked me quite a bit, cause she wasnt old enough to understand the breakup of her parents, but the oldest who was 12, he knew.  He didnt necessarily blame me, as I came much later, after the breakup.  However he didnt really like me either.  One day, the school called cause he had gotten into trouble.  I went instead of his dad (or mom) neither of them knew.  Then I handled the situation on my own without "ratting" on him.  From that point on, he liked me.  I had been "on his side" and that meant alot to him.  An opportunity such as this may just come to you if you watch for it.  Every little bit counts in a step situation.  I wish you lots of love and fun in your new family :)
976356
That my  friend could be a veryyyy tricky -situation to step into . # 1.) You two have been friends since highschool ( however long that was). And if the "chemistry" just wasn't there between you two then  to share a relationship... what  makes you think that now (& two kids later )  would be anymore of an opportune or better time for yous to get together ?   #2.) Do either  of you really want to take the chance of ruining an obviously good & workable friendship for the sake  of wanting to be more "intimately" involved ??  And perhaps even more importantly ; you are both involved in a relationship already . Whether either  of you are un-happy in ur current relationship or not... still i would suggest that you both first try addressing your matters at home & within ur present relationships before even considering getting together . No need for either of yous to bring "bad" luggage with you over into the next relationship.  \nAnd , even more important for yourself my friend; if you are really not  ready to "fill in the Shoes" of the actual father of that woman's children.... then do stop fooling yourself into thinking that you two will ever really be happy with each other as well. \nBut, in any event  I do  wish all parties involved the very best .
1062034
I definitely think you should try, no matter how well you feel around her.  She is still your family, even though you are not blood related.  I'm sure your father would be very happy if you could connect with her.  Respect to parents and family no matter how close you are is a very important thing in life, well it definitely is in my culture.
945765
I have a stepson in addition to my own two and, therefore, a blended family.  Unfortunately, abandonment at the hands of his biological mother has left him emotionally stunted, and he has had some trouble making appropriate attachments to the other members of the family.  However, through regular one-on-one and family interaction (slow and steady wins the race) he has really come around.  I won't lie; it can be difficult beyond belief to raise someone else's child.  But if you can learn to identify your kids' individual and collective needs and deal with them accordingly, you'll come to understand that having a blended family is really not all that different from having a regular nuclear family.  Extra parents (his mom, her dad) can pose extra trouble and can seem like they are running interference a lot of the time, but remember - this is YOUR family.  Love and patience, hon.  THAT'S the name of the game...ANY game.  G-d speed.
633343
Have a quiet word with your mother about the fact that you can hear their activities.  I'm sure she will be mortified and find a way of insulating your room (or theirs).  As for your stepdad ... it's sad that you can't find at least one thing that you can like about him, but your mother is now married to him and obviously loves him.  You'll just have to bite the bullet and be pleased for her.  It very much depends on your age, but couldn't you get out a bit more and not spend so much time at home.  Stay with friends on non-school nights, say?  I do hope you don't let your antipathy toward your stepdad colour your youth.  That would be such a shame.
207026
Honestly explain to him first that you feel like you're not trusted with the child and let him know how that makes you feel. If you two are in agreement then you can approach the mother in a non-threatening way and let her know that you'd like to be more involved. you are a step-parent here and should be.
969378
not at all, on a genetic level its only bad if you are with 2 generations of one another, and since you say the relation is thru marriage there are no blood ties between you and the one you like. \n\nKeep in mind if it fails the cousin in the middle may suffer as the two of you decide you don't like each other any more, but they have to be around you both
391564
Be honest with them.... twins have it hard enough as it is better now then to far into the relationship...... Good Luck