My husband's !8 year old son is coming for a visit in June and bringing his 19 year old?
483495
I would let them since they are over 18 but I think my husband wouldn't. I'm sure that if they are going to do anything, then they probably already have at some point in time.
214224
I realize it hurts you deeply, seeing someone you love hurting.  Accepting that we can't "make" anyone do what we would like them to do, in spite of how difficult that may be, is what we must do.  Accept.  It would be nice in life if we could somehow shorten the list of regrets for others.  Realistically though, we are unable to control actions of others, or in some cases, the lack there of.  Perhaps a FRIENDLY phone call, preferably from their father, inviting them for a visit.  Even if an "invitation" to visit your home is not a requirement, they may respond more favorably at hearing a simple, "I'd sure like to see you and the kids", from their Dad's own mouth.  As difficult as it may indeed be, you really may be better staying out of it, leaving the relationship (or the lack of) between his "grown" children and him.  Take ALL the energy that you have being distressed over this situation (in which the power is not in your hands to change) and direct it to the relationship you have with your husband.  Continue to be there for him, emotionally, physically.  Take care of EACH OTHER.  Invite friends over to play cards, or for a chat of "what's new" in their life.  It's time to put the focus on the two of you.  Like the way it used to be, perhaps.  Thinking of you.  Take care.
716784
It sounds like your relationship is great but one thing that worried me - you said you were worried his family wouldn't like you - you should meet them first, and make sure he meets yours first.  \n\nWhen I first started reading your post I had my doubts, BUT \nI don't think the age difference matters in your case.  In some it does, but your relationship does seem more mature.  People always think I am too young also.  I'm 19 and getting married next summer too.  I love this man and he is my best friend and my life partner.  We've been together since I was in middle school and we've grown up together and are still growing together.  I think it's amazing to find a love like this when you are so young.  Don't worry about what everyone else thinks - count your blessings that you have something that some people NEVER find.  \n\nJust be sure you have the same goals, and plans for the future.  For example, in a few years you are going to want a son or daughter with him also.  I am sure you love his son like your own but the time will come when it will drive you crazy that he is not your own and you need to make sure he will be willing to have more children.
1018116
It depends if your son wants you to go with him. If you are the type of parent who is also a close friend with your child, then there likely won't be any problem. But if you're just asking because you want to be sure of his well-being while he is there, and you want to be able to watch over him, then no, you shouldn't go with him. \n\nYou need to take into consideration the type of relationship the two of you share and if that will work in his favor while he is there or against it.\n\nIf your son wants someone to go with him because he has never gone before, maybe he should ask a friend to go, someone his age so he won't feel completely alone while he's there. Straight friends often go with their gay friends in order to be supportive and it would likely not be frowned on by the people in the club.\n\nThe best way to find decent places for him to go would be to contact people in the gay community and ask them. Try looking up a local PFLAG group or one of the associations linked with GLSEN.
384562
Wow...you're definately in a hard spot!!  I guess as long as they are being good to your son and not trying to sabotage your relationship with him, it's probably ok to let them pick him up once a week.  \nAs far as their treatment of you goes...well, it's sort of expected that they would take their son's side in this isn't it?  Try and take it for it's worth..which is nothing. I know it may be hard to ignore, but if you can for your son's sake, give it a go.  If they start bad-mouthing you to your son though that's a different story. Then it goes from being a good thing to being not so good for your son...it would be very tough on him to listen to grandma and grandpa talk sh.. about you.  Confusing and detritmental.\nGood luck with this one, sweetie.
374737
It sounds like you guys could use some family therapy.\n\nIt also sounds like maybe your husband and older son don't really understand your younger son's disability. I wonder if maybe they have been too lazy to learn more about it. Either way, their behavior towards your younger son is unacceptable. What they are doing to him amounts to bullying, pure and simple. Stand up for your younger son, and let your husband and older son know that their behavior will not be tolerated.
886701
I would get them a "token" something, yes. He will see that you did, and appreciate it. He might not get your son something, but no matter, I think you should get his kids something...just don't go "overboard".
799116
I still have a best friend and I am 33.  We met while doing PTA at school when our kids were younger.  We talk if not every day then every other day.  We are also in a couples poker group together with our spouses and our other "best" friends.  We jump from house to house once a month for this.  Sometimes we go shopping....our families go on a mini vacation together in the summers..... sometimes just the adults take a weekend.... we go to football games together......our kids all get along great and stick together.  I'd be lost without them!!!! (And I even have a big extended family on top of this - love this life!)
479344
Yes. You need to communicate better with the son, and your girlfriend. If you tell someone you are going to be somewhere, but something comes up, call and say so. Perhaps the 2 of you weren't on the same page. You thought she'd be ok, and she thought you'd be with her. Nobody's wrong, you just didn't see the situatuion the same way. That's called life. Right now, or as soon as possible, go over to their house. Sit the mom and son down. tell them that you know they are feeling slighted, but they need to know that wasn't at all your intention. You were overwhelmed with responsibility at the time, and you should ALL do a better job expressing expectations. A SIMPLE CALL FROM EITHER ONE OF YOU TO PUT YOURSELVES "ON THE SAME PAGE". Even if you disagree, at least the other person will know where you stand and know that there was no bad intention. the son actually sounds like a pretty good communicator for his age!!! Tell them that you love them and you feel terrible that they were upset.Often, when we take the responsibility, it opens up the other person's eyes to the fact that this was not something that you should turn into a bad situation, and we are all human.\nBy theway, the $ issue. tell her exactly what you told us. tell her you'd love to lavish her like the queen she is to you, and give her lots of attention.
710916
WOW sounds like a real jerk, didn't even want to pay child support. I hope you got your increase.\nAnyways that is unsafe for your young children to travel alone. I would no, tell him your feelings on this and hold to it. \nWho are these people taking them to the long trip to the airport? Can you trust them? If you don't know them, then no. What about on a plane unsupervised, heck no, they are too young.
278389
wow...\n\nu should convice one another.. or maybe u can arrage some go out together; you, two of ur friends, and some other (not too much tho) and make it sure that the boy is giving the grl ride home. maybe they will start talking soon enough!!
552404
Yes, it's wrong. Your son deserves his own new presents. If you want to pass on the older stuff to him, do it, but not as his birthday present. He's going to feel cheated and resentful. As well he should!
209585
you're just about the age of their son...LOL
209181
I have a problem similar to yours. However, my step children don't visit often, and they are teenagers. My husband gets excited when they are coming, but when they get here, it's like they do whatever they want to do. If I try to set them straight, it causes problems between my husband and me. The best thing you can do is sit your husbands kids down and have a heart to heart talk with them. You have a life too, which includes more than just your step children. Tell them that they need to try and help out with the grandchildren when they are there. If they respect you enough, they will listen and not be upset with you. Good Luck!
434293
28 with a six year old son
439639
Don't you think it all goes back to the parents, and how they raised their child?  Obviously, since your son is still alive, you, yourself, are on the right track.  RAISE UP A CHILD IN THE WAY HE SHOULD GO, AND HE WILL NOT DEPART FROM IT.  Does that sound familiar?  That's exactly what you have done, and I congratulate you for it!
686032
Two kid's at 19...WOW>>>