Why is it so hard to let go of your past?
494242
You have to forgive yourself and others and say to yourself everyday that "Today is a new day, I can't change the past and worrying about it will not do me any good for today."  Not letting go of those things puts those things in control of you, when in fact you need to be in control of you.  I hang positive notes or quotes on my mirror so every morning I read them and it starts me off on the right mental footing.  Prayer, for me, is also good because I know I that I can give all those things to God on a daily basis.  Those are beginnings and some days are better than others but it is a step in the right direction.  Take care!!!!
646450
I'm sorry that your going through this I know how you feel believe me I have been through this myself. I saw once on Oprah's show that you must let him go in order for something better to come into your life. How you can you let something better come into your life? when your still thinking about the ex boyfriend! May God Bless You and bring someone new into your life!
402869
Its you who will decide how long you will let the hurt and pain be inside you. If you have the will, and the strength to move on in life, forget the past and start today as if you are born once more, Iam sure it wont take long. Its not that easy either. It may seem as if its ''forever'', and it will hurt you a lot trying to do it, but then thats the only way. Cry, cry it out when it pains. Dont suppress yourself. You will feel relieved. Get yourself involved, in whatever it is that you may have longed to do and...slowly you'll see happier and looking back with a smile.\n\ngood luck.
582172
Because, deep within your heart, you still want to trust that person no-matter how your mind denies that desire.  Let-Go is always the most difficult task, take it slow and, be gentle with yourself.
381763
You might be afriad of opening up to people becuase of hurt in your past. Friends really are the best thing life, treat them that way and you will be fine. Don't let your fear of opening up ruin that for you. Good luck.
765097
I've lived through a lot of hard times and abuse, more than most people do . Have had to struggle to pull my self up out of bad situations\nwith two small children under tow , but everything that happens in our lives happens for a reason and I wouldn't change anything that happened because it has molded who I am . Today I am stronger for having to live that way .
1085782
You need to deal with your demons, your past is making it impossible for you to enjoy your present. Sounds like you need therapy.
120948
Realistically, you can't completely forget someone you used to love. At least, I can't. Everyone I've ever loved will always be a part of who I am. They are part of the influences in my life who have made me a better person. Even if they were horrible people, I've become better by the lessons learned. Don't try to forget...just open your heart to yourself and your own strength...and allow your life to "absorb" the hurt. Then the moving on will happen naturally, without the effort...and you will be a finer person for your experiences. (if you choose to be)
223937
Your terms are too harsh.  What I have today is my everything.  Of course there are things in my past I would like to change, but I would not be willing to give up my wife and children to do so.  If I were forced to do it, I would not want to retain a memory of this life because it would be too painful to know I had lost them.  I am content with my flawed past because I realize that although it isn't perfect, it is what led me here.  I have made peace with my skeletons in the closet and whenever they rattle their old bones the sounds of my children's laughter more than drowns them out.
444461
I went through the same thing.  It took me two years go get over my ex which was the hardest thing because he was the love of my life (never felt that way before). I'm sorry to bring it to you, but you will never forget.\n\nEven bad memories you can't forget (a bastard I dated who I do not like to remember at all). I try to forget, you just can't.\n\nThe most that you can do is preoccupy yourself. At first it will be very hard because all you can do is think and be reminded of the things that happened, but TIME (as much I as I hate saying it) will do its thing.\n\nI know this doesn't help much and you're probably not going to listen, but it's the hardcore truth.\n\nSome people like to do dramatic changes in their life and it's something you can try (change the way you look, change your diet, change your routine, etc), but if you don't want change, then TIME again.  Some like to do outrageous things (date a lot of people at once w/o having a care in the world - NOT recommended!, immerse themself in work/school/social world, etc) \n\nBut whatever you do, it'll still be there (even the faintest memory will linger).  Mine still does (both the good & the bad) and after a while you just deal with it.  I even still cry. It has been 3 years now (the love one).\n\nIt's also helpful if you help those who are like you. It's therapeutic rather than talking about your problems if you can relate to other people (***like me!***)
665146
The past must be accepted. It should never be denied. It is apart of the reason why a country is now the way it is. We should try to forgive and move ahead. But to forget is disrespectful to all who have suffered. Effects of these sufferings last for generation upon generation and unless you have felt the effects you may not understand why people today are still so hurt by past events. Its very complicated and painful. I just hope one day, we as a world of people will learn to accept, acknowledge, love each other and live in peace together. That's a big ask, but I'll never stop hoping.
791297
You can't move forward if you don't face your past.  Be brave enough to follow your dream, go to the university you want, and disregard your ex-girlfiend.  It's your life after all...don't let someone else control it, even if indirectly.
988937
You don't.............leave the past in the past.\n\nStart fresh!
948353
Yes, my past comes and bites me in the ass all the time...some days I wish I could have a "do over"..so I could make better choices...I know youre not feeling sorry for yourself, it's just so frustrating sometimes...like you want to scream"I'm Sorry, I'm trying my best, I'm not the same person !" Hang in there and keep making good choices and doing the right thing now...
1068162
It is very easy to say that leave n forget your past & Move on with life but actually it is not easy.\nDo whatever your heart tells you to do .You need to give yourself sometime Cry if you want to cry , call that person who hurts you or is the reason for your tears .Do it till the time you can & one day you will feel that its enough & Now You want to move on with your life.Cos that person is not giving you importance at all .See all his things which makes you cry & make lots of friends.\n\nThen you will decide that I will let it go I want to move on in my life.
196882
i definitely use my creativity on how to get even!!!\n\nhahaha! hope not to come this far because the one we love always hurt us the most...\n\nlearn to let go...\n\nit's not easy to 4give nor 4get but simply letting go and accepting the fact of losing the person you cherished and leave you badly hurt can weaken you...\n\nbe tough and face the reality.
1059137
Stacy,\n\nWhen you've spent as much time with someone you love as you have and during that time also struggle together through various dependencies then even those struggles become things we tend to hang on to, despite the bad times associated with them. They become a connection to what we learn to perceive as our own reality so we hang on to them because we find hope or security in them even when that apparent reality is in fact not healthy or secure at all. You've made changes in your personal life obviously to discard some of those dependencies while your significant other has not. Yet you hang on to the one dependency that in the last 5 years has been a constant in your life and that is him, his very presence of being there close to you, touchable and reachable. You still see each other, you sleep together and you do this because you choose to look past his unwillingness to change. Why? Because for you, despite the past, you still try to find hope in a situation that seems to never offer any in return and you can't see yourself either giving up or drastically changing your life to leave it all behind. Maybe this is because you feel you have put so much into it and because by still being with him in certain ways it allows you to believe it may all change. Or, maybe you're just afraid to look to a future of starting over and rebuilding your life without him. Starting over can always be a scary proposition for any of us and just taking the first step is the most scary of all. Not unlike when a child pulls themselves up to the coffee table and for the very first time takes that single step without holding on. We risk falling down but if we measure our risks to minimize the fall then we find security in that and pull ourselves up and take another step. Reading all that you've written and having somewhat experienced similar situations I would be inclined to believe that for you to move on, as you want to do, you truly need a whole new start. New surroundings, new friends and new opportunity and again in my experience I've found the best way to do that is to put distance between myself and the past somewhere new and start fresh in life. Maybe this is for you too or at least something to consider. Scary thought? Sure it is but for someone who's obviously been through as much as you have then I suspect you're a strong young woman who is more than capable of doing so. I will hope for the best for you and should you need a friend in the future then all you have to do is reach out.\n\nBest Wishes Always