I'm married for 10 years with two boys and my husband says he doesn't love me. Any advise or support group?
486499
I'm really very sorry that you have to go through this  type of situation because i have.Right now I know that it doesn't seem like it will ever get better,but trust me it does.I had been married for 10yrs, together with the same man since high school.He broke my heart left me with a 8,6,4,3month old.To make a looooooong story short(lol)I've been remarried HAPPILY for 7years now.My husband treats me like the Queen that I am,and I most definitely treat him like a King.GOD Bless you and your children(your husband too,he's going to need it)
663444
Divorce can be the solution \nbut are u sure that u don't love u husband and  do u have children ?... because children will suffer in all that
816869
Hi, has he always been like this or is it just the spell you've been arguing.\nMarriage is hard work and needs constant nuturing from both sides to feel loved by the other side.\nSome people (men and women) have difficulty in expressing themselves, is this your husband?\nIf so, maybe you accepting this as him and noticing the other ways he does express love will help, but there is nothing like a hug and hearing how we are loved so do understand where you are coming from.\nA husband and wife will either knit together over the years or move in opposite directions (like my ex and I) but for it to work you must be moving in the same direction. \nTalking to him and continuing to express yourself, your love is all you can do really, and hope he hears you before you change, because you will in time.\nMaking time for those special moments will also help, there is always another little trick we can pull out the hat to surprise him, reveal another mystery about yourself-try it-remind him of why he got with you. ;)\nJust keep trying until he either wakes up or loses out with the woman he fell for and married, I wish you both luck xxx
885769
You have to remember that you guys already have 2 kids together. I think you should try to work the marriage out, you've probably tried talking to him, but if that doesn't work out then you two should seek counselingl.
865531
If you are not happy in your marriage then this should've told you to look at the reasons why you're not happy and attempt to fix the problem.  \n\nLooking for the fix outside of the marriage isn't going to fix your problems.  I suggest you and your husband see a marriage counselor.
524888
Sounds as if he has moved on in his mind and left you and the marriage behind. Sad that after 8 years. How you can improve your marriage is how you react to the sitution right now. Don't beg or bug him about anything. Give him some room and the old saying if you set someone free and they come back they are yours is very true............
828735
<sigh> I really can understand where you are coming from.  I was in a marriage for 15 years before I moved out.  I made a painful decision to leave my boys with my ex-husband because he was in the Navy; steady income and secure residence, whereas I didn't know what would be my plight if I took them with me.  I worked two jobs, saved my money and finally managed to move into my own apartment nearby.  The boys thought it was fun to visit me on weekends "to get away from Dad."  Things actually worked out for awhile.\n\nThe thing is, you have to look at your situation and see what it is you are financially, mentally and emotionally capable of.  The arguing is not good, especially if the kids get involved.  This is what motivated me most to leave my ex.  He and I were arguing over the most ridiculous things and it was affecting the boys.  I talked with them and asked them how they felt about my leaving, getting secure with finances and bringing them with me once I'd gotten myself "steady" and they told me I should do what I needed to do to be happy.\n\nI had family but I didn't want anyone to know my marriage was ending, so I did everything on my own.  It took time and sacrificing.  I did have one friend who supported me in my decision and was someone I could talk to, which helped me get through the frustration of an ending marriage.\n\nWhile you go through this, if you could find a local service that could assist you, try to avoid confrontations with him, even if it means your not going "out."  These battles will affect your children and someone should take precautions to avoid that as it is just unnecessary.  \n\nIn hind sight, I wish I had waited until my boys had graduated high school because now, they bring it up and hold me accountable for the things that have gone wrong in their early adulthood life.  I'm not telling YOU to wait.  You have to research this within yourself and make the best decision for both YOU and the children.\n\nI wish you the best - this is a hard road to travel and no one person has the answer.  Be patient - you will find that answer within yourself soon enough.
154202
Support groups can be really great.  You should also make sure that you and your son are getting out and doing things: go to the park, the zoo, visit friends and relatives, etc.  It is too easy sometimes to spend too much time at home alone and kind of living your life on "hold" while your spouse is gone.  \n\nBesides, if you and your son stay active it will make the time go by faster, and you'll have more to tell hubby when you talk to him! :)
700602
Ugh...what a mess. Look, no one is perfect and there are a ton of people on here who will tell you what a bad person you are because of this scenario. First and foremost, please remember no one has the right to judge you. Everyone makes mistakes and everyone hurts people...nobody is above this. Please don't listen to all the horrible words posted here. It doesn't make you a "bad" person...but you are troubled and confused and this situation is only going to lead to so much hurt and pain for so many people, especially the kids. I hate to say this, but most likely he will stay with his wife. I know you love him and can't imagine a life without him, but you have to right now. You're both obviously in marriages that aren't working. This is where you need to focus your efforts right now. If you're so in love with him wouldn't you want him fully devoted to you? I thought so. And if he truly loves you, then he'll want to be with YOU and only you. For your own health, well-being and safety, stay away from this right now. If there's any hope for the two of you, it will be later on when all the issues have been dealt with and all the pain has healed. I wish you all the best.
670512
Sweetheart you have more than shown love and respect for your husband...feel free to start living YOUR LIFE again.. but be smart..you can go on living and still be in control of who, what when and where you will do what you do!!\n\nSorry to learn of your loss, I lost a son 8 years ago and can sympathize with you and your sons tremendous loss..
422707
I am also a "passive" person, but not quite to the extent your husband is.  Have you ever considered the fact that your husband grew up in chaos, and didn't have a male figure around for him to learn from?  Don't know his background, but his "symptoms" sound a lot like the way I grew up.  If it seems he "likes" chaos it could be because he doesn't know how to resolve chaos.  And as far as him "blaming you", have you ever considered that he is feeling pretty crappy cause you can handle things better than him? If you truly love him, be kind and patient and understanding.  Help him learn that you can "fix" chaos.  If you feel like he can walk away from the marriage without ever turning back, have you ever considered that that exact thing may have happened to him?  Try turning it around and not being so dominant yourself.  Turn to him and let him know you value his ideas, thoughts and decisions, and you NEED him in everyday life and decisions. If he makes a "wrong decision" but it isn't hurtful, life threatening, or irreversible, go with the flow and let him learn from mistakes, knowing you will stand behind him no matter what.
144734
you can't make somebody love you, maybe you should revalute why you are still married?? If he does not love you , why stay with him. You have to make your own happiness.
510373
I hear your frustration, but I also hear someone who is still in love with the person they married.  Sure, you don't feel for him the way you used but some of that is normal after 10 years, and some of that is from the financial frustration that is dragging you down.  Some times life just doesn't work out the way we had planned and we have to decide if it is best to adjust our expectations or change our lives.  This isn't easy as you have stated because you may find out that nothing changes or things are even worse without him.  Divorce is a huge step and a risk because it doesn't guarantee you that everything will get better.  I guess the big question is, can things change financially just because of a divorce?
249513
I understand your feelings.  Talk to Hubby about it.  Make him understand how it makes you feel.  He should be willing to help with your feeligns.  Some compromise is in order.  Because of the kids, they inlaws will be a part of your life, but how much a part is something you two can discuss.  Sounds to me like he can give a little, and you can as well.  Good luck!
940279
I would suggest you go to counseling to see if you can mend your marriage; it might even be better than before.  Losing a job can be devastating for anyone, but it's especially tough for men.  It sounds like your husband fell into a depression and is just now climbing out of it.  The fact that he still wants to try with you and has made some improvement says a lot.\n\nIf the counseling works, then give the marriage an honest try before you decide to throw in the towel.  \n\nDon't stay together because of the kids.  I've seen that happen with disastrous results.  The children wind up seeing their parents live a life of tolerance, not love.\n\nHe's making an effort; with some new communication skills and both of your working at your marriage, you may find that you love him again.
1069287
First, you should of told him what you were doing before it became a year relationship. Second, If you feel like you can't really relate with him then your really not in love with him. I would just sit him down and explain everything to him. Yea, he's going to be upset because you wasn't honest with him. You better let him know now before you are married with 3 kids. He may leave....he may not. It's up to you how you tell him. Lay it on him easy. He should understand. Good luck.
866970
How old are you guys? Maybe he's having a midlife crisis. 13 years is a long time. Don't throw in the towel if you feel there is still love in the relationship. One person can save the relationship even if the other person doesn't think it's what he wants. \n\nYou have to have faith in your relationship and find out what the issue is for him and show that you are willing to work on them. Go to counseling (see if your workplace offers anything employee assistance). Go to church more, get in tune with who you are and what you want. \n\nThe meds are a good start. But he won't see the changes for awhile so let them kick in and make a commitment to stay on them of they help you.\n\nI went through a similar situation and hubby and I restored our relationship. It can be done. He kept asking if we'd make it and I told him that people survived far more difficult obstacles.\n\nif you think it may be a midlife crisis try these sites..\nwww.midlifeclub.com\nwww.ojar.com