i want to date again, but i'm scared of the hurt,what do i do?
493516
Hold on you live with him still? First off I've never heard of that arangement before in my life. Also what do you mean by living with are you two still together but still sexually active? If so he's using you no wonder you feel lost. You need to get yourself outta there and if your parents won't take you in find a place foryourself. In times of need there are several places like main stay suites that offer cheep extending living. Once you've done that try and find a really decent guy i'm not talking about going bar hopping, i'm talking about a place like church (by the way if you don't have religion at this poin that's another reason you feel lost, there are many christains like myself that are here to help you if you need some with comming to Christ ;) ) I know you most likely love this guy but the sooner you come to relize its time to move on you'll feel bad at first but it will get better. Don't think its not because you won't love the ex because yes you will love doesn't go away, but you have to save whats left of your heart and mend it together for that guy who's still out there you haven't met yet.
864068
you know what to do but afraid to take the first step because he might hurt you again physically... why not consult with a legal counsel and ask him the best way to get out with the relationship. you have to be strong to face the consequences that would save your life and pride as a person. Good luck ;-)
210274
You are afraid of commitment, so remember that time does heal and when you are ready you will be able to commint to the right guy.
983618
Take it one day at a time. You are not going to get over this overnight. If you worry all the time about being able to trust this guy that you just met for the first time, you might just miss out on the best thing that ever happened to you. You shouldn`t go through life afraid of what "might" happen.
502565
i understand what you are saying perfectly. after you have been hurt enough times, you don't want to go down that road again....when you are 18 and the first time in love, they really don't get it....at least not yet..........but, remember, if we do not love to keep pain out,,,then we also do not let love in.....it's a risk, but it's worth taking.. good luck
1000760
you will never fully trust someone unless you'll be over with the hurt. you need to surrender yourself to self-analysis and think continually about what has been and what will be...\nyou need to ask yourself if you're willing to open your heart to a new stage without locking yourself and putting a barrier because of the hurt. and sometimes the idea of getting hurt once again would limit your trust to a certain level...\nwe know that loving someone is giving one's self totally and that hurt is part of the process of trying to build up a relationship. trust doesn't mean that you'd never be hurt...
186268
I have been through a similar experience. Just over a year ago the guy who I had planned on marrying & I decided to part ways. Even though it was mutual I had a really hard time moving on. I started dating again right away, but soon realized that in the process of dating my ex I had lost track of who I really was, therefore all the guys I dated after him; I was dating for the wrong reasons. I don't know if that makes sense, but I decided that I had to "date myself" first before I was ready to hit the dating scene again. \n\nAbout 4 or 5 months ago I came across this book: Single "The art of being satisfied, fulfilled, and independent". by Judy Ford  It really opened my eyes as to how I was living my life. It's okay to grieve & find yourself before hitting the dating scene again. I've taken a sabatical from dating & have never been happier. I have more guy friends than I have ever had before & they are teaching me what I really want in a guy.\n\nMaybe you're not ready for the whole dating thing yet, but that shouldn't stop you from getting to know this great guy. It sounds like you two are building a friendship, & friendship is so important when trying to rediscover yourself. Just be totally honest with yourself & do some soul searching ... you'll be surprised by all you don't know about yourself.
1171867
Honestly, sounds like new guy was getting really attached to you. And by going back to your ex, even if it was a verbal agreement that didn't last tlong.. you scared new guy off.\n\nHe is probably going to need some time to get over that. If you really want to be with him, put some time in and show him that it was a stupid mistake and won't happen again.\n\nAlso, on another note, why give someone who has hit you a second chance? Please think about that. Abuse is a pattern that will not stop without serious counseling, if that. I would steer clear of the ex if I was you.
251938
Because you are afraid.  You should be cautios but not afraid to love, that's what we were built for, but once you break the trust in a single relationship then you mise well move one because it's the single most hardest thing to get back and probably won't ever from the same one person.  We all deserve trust & honesty with love, and i believe that you can have it all.
1155505
Part of the therapy for getting over a divorce is to re-join the "human race".  With a divorce, we go through "separation anxiety" ... and that is a very miserable condition.\n\nDon't feel that you have to leap at the first opportunity to date ... but don't shy away from one that interests you.  Ease back into it, maybe by starting out going out with a group of friends, then a couple friends, then venturing out on your own.\n\nThere is no generally-accepted timeframe for waiting.  Let your own heart and needs determine that.  Just be cautious about "rebounding" and jumping into a worse relationship than the one you just left ... just because "it's there" and you're hurting.
11924
If you want a sort of casual approach, get tickets to something and tell him "I have an extra ticket to ______ and I was hoping you'd like to go with me, if you're fee that night."\nBut, trust me on this, sometimes the guy you think is out of your league, is actually afraid to approach YOU.... I missed 20 years of having someone quite amazing in my world because when we were young, I thought I had no shot at all to be anything but his "pal"....came to learn just this year, he never understood why I had the time of day for him, thought I couldn't possibly be interested.\nBelieve me, Darlin', there are things in life far more painful than being shot down.
532445
I know that it will be hard to start over again after spending six years with a person who you think is a soulmate, and having things backfire on you. Regardless of how old a person is when this happens, it hurts deeply.I don't know if you are religious at all, but I believe that the Lord will make all things turn out ok, regardless of how dark you view your  situation to be. I live in New Orleans, and during Hurricane Katrina, when I evacuated to a shelter, I see people on the verge of cracking up, because they have no faith, nothing to fall back on. As concerned as I was about what lies ahead, because of my faith in God, I was at peace with the situation and can continue to function normally.There is light at the end of the tunnel for you, if you would just be patient and have a little faith. Time heals all wounds.You will be able to love again, and you will find that special someone who can make you life complete. My prayers and best wishes are with you.
1170308
i would definitely get hurt... but i will control myself make sure not to be mean or rude ... and be perfectly polite.. and all..\nbut when i get alone with my BF i would tell him what i really feel and that i got hurt and all... and not to do that again....\nU know some times u date and  brakeup u become good friends after a while... and if they have been friends before they dated then there is a possibility that they will be all excited and hug each other... but there is a very fine line .... as long as ur BF is honest and u know tht he truly loves u and all.. just tell ur side and wait and see what he does...\nthere is a big possibility tht he would understand u and becareful the next time.... not to make u hurt...\n\nAfterall it's all about understanding isnt it...:)
330803
im in the same situation.. because of my past.. im afraid to get too attatched just to get hurt AGAIN... but honestly.. .if you like this girl alot.. and you're willing to wait to see where it may go, go for it! BUT LIKE SHE SAID.. if what you truly want is to walk away.. do what you gotta do... everyone goes through hard times.. but in the end.. she is probably more concerned with you being happy than anything else!
348010
I think that most women go through what you are describing (I sure have!). It's almost impossible to imagine dating someone when you have just broken up with someone else. Especially if you loved that person, which it sounds like you did.\n\nThe answer is, dont worry about dating right now. Just take care of you and your girls and do what you can to make you happy. Take care of YOU for a change. The dating thing will come around eventually. There's no hurry. That isnt important right now. Just take it day by day.\n\nAnd when you ARE ready then opportunities will present themselves. There is no hurry, though. If you get upset thinking about dating again, then dont think about it. You'll be ok.
344046
You were hurt, and you pushed him away. That can happen to anyone in your situation, but I agree that you should tell him how you feel. Don't drag it out. You should know where you stand and let him know where he stand with you. If it doesn't work out, you will have closer and the ability to love someone else. That may not necessarily be what you want to hear, but YES sweetie you can love again.
485867
just start working on building back your friendships with those he wouldnt let you contact. concentrate on moving on. i know what its like to date someone who didnt treat you right and kind of left you humuliated that you ever let them get away with those things. as hard as it is, try not to dwell on it, keep doing the things that make you happy and most importantly when you feel ready to date again remember that not all guys are going to treat you like that. it would be so much easier if we could just go back and erase things like that  but since we cant all we can do is rebuild it all and get past it. hang in there :)