i have asked my parents for more freedom and they keep saying there giving it to me but i dont feel they are?
483676
Hmmmm, let`s see, Do your friends buy your groceries? Do your friends buy your clothes? Do your Friends take care of you when you are sick? Will your Friends be there when you are in trouble? I think not..\n\nONLY YOUR FAMILY WILL DO THESE THINGS. Your family should be the most important thing in life, next to GOD.. Your friends will come and go, but your Mom and Dad will ALWAYS be your parents.. \n\nTell them to live their own life and you will live yours.. Where do they get off talking to you like that? They are bad mouthing not only you, but your family as well. They need to grow up... \n\nWhy should you try to adjust your life according to what your friends think??. You need to go your own way. You are an adult. Stand up for your self and tell them to kiss off.. \n\nGood luck and God Bless\n\n{:-)\n\n<><
422581
they are trying to protect u, sweetie. my mom and dad used to give me a hard time, too, but i realized why now since i've grown up. they are trying to protect u from any dangers that might be able to hurt u in any way. u will realize it when u grow a little older. trust me.
1152371
Hi young lady.  You're bound to get a ton of responses to your question, both from parents and from other teens who consider you either very lucky, or very unlucky.  I suspect that something happened this evening that upset you and probably prompted your to ask the question - perhaps they turned down a request or simply said something at a moment when you really weren't feeling happy with the state of your life.  Regardless, being a successful father myself (my son is now married and working on his master's degree to be a teacher), I can tell you something you probably don't like to think about; that is that raising a child . . . I'm sorry . . . a young man or woman, in today's world is a VERY scary and challenging thing to do.  Particularly in the case of young women, if you follow the newspapers or TV news at all, you'd see that the prevalence of sex crimes in our country is at an all-time high.  The Internet itself is being used as a tool by predators who want nothing more than to take advantage of gullible or naive young people who are too ready to trust, and not ready enough to protect themselves.  Your parents sound like they love you very much . . . enough to want to protect you from the very nasty and ugly side of humanity, for as long as they are able.  When you believe they are simply being mean or too strict, they are actually struggling with the choices they must make as you grow older, regarding how much freedom you should be allowed to have, as opposed to how much risk and danger could be waiting for them to allow you too much freedom, or perhaps more than you are fully equipped to handle.  Parents have a terribly difficult job, and very often they have to be the "bad guys" as far as their children are concerned, in order to ensure that their children remain safe and secure until they are old enough, and hopefully well enough prepared, to step out into this very brutal world on your own.  I don't want to put you to sleep here with a long message (I might have already done so:-), but I believe you will find in the long run, that in order to earn more trust and more freedom from your parents, you're going to have to demonstrate to them how responsible and how trustworthy you can be.  And if you attempt to mislead them, or you abuse a trust that they give to you, you shouldn't be surprised or angry at them if they back off and require you to earn their trust all over again.  As a retired military person, I can tell you most assuredly - freedom is everyone's right, but it is a right that we all have to earn, not once, but every day of our lives, but doing what is right (not just what is the easiest), and by setting a high standard of honesty and integrity for ourselves that no one can put a hole in.  I suspect that when you have become the kind of upstanding person your parents want you to be, you will discover that they will endow you with increasing levels of trust, and freedom, so long as you continue to prove that what they are doing is the right thing, not just for you, but for your entire family.  I apologize for writing so much, but I saw in your note some feelings of disappointment and frustration with your folks.  Try not to only consider their actions from your point of view.  To really understand what is happening in yours and their lives, broaden your point of view and try to consider what they're feelings are, and what they're reasons are for the decisions that they make on your behalf.  Don't be in too big a hurry to be out on your own - it's a far scarier and more dangerous world than you can possibly imagine, and your time in it will come all too soon.  Good luck with your question, and with sifting through all of the many wide-ranging opinions you're likely to see.  Use your brain, and not your emotions to determine who's advice is the most honest and the most intelligent, and don't just choose those answers that suppor
493818
As a kid myself, I see it from your side. However, make sure you realize that they just want you to realize that "lowering the expectations you have for yourself is not the right path to take." (My parents...rrr...)
417090
They need help, you're probably not the one who can give it to them. Is there a councilling service in their area? Do your parents know? Tell your parents if you can. I don't know how old you are.
234046
I think your parents need you love, just like you need thiers, take it from there and always remember that they helped raise you and educate you the way they did, if it wasn't for thier efforts, you'ld be a lesser person than what you are today.\n\nSo when it comes to parents, I always deal on a platform of love, and sacrifice. Don't forget that most likely, they will not be around for that long.
265279
Your mother is very puzzled. You will have to be patient. Parents are difficult to live with at times partly because they are comparing you to their expectations and hopes and partly because the norms of their generation are slightly different.\nAt the moment your mother is struggling with the idea. She will probably feel embarassed and maybe ashamed. How will she explain this to her friends?\nI have no doubt that she does love you.
369584
If you are desiring greater freedoms, then accept greater responsibilities. While living under someone else's roof, I suggest you abide by their rules. All of the teens on the internet cannot change your parents household policy. I hope they stick to their guns.
883835
Ive got the same problem with my -- 'out-laws' But luckily for me they are going abroad this year so we are safe. Next year might be different though cos we've had some turbulent times and I dont think I will ever feel the same about them again.\n\nI would try and keep it nice for the children we have but if it weren't for them I wouldn't be bothering.
409924
Ask your parent who is controlling you.
489973
Your parents want the closness you want to, believe me.  You're so young, you have all the things in life to look forward to, with your parents at your side!  Marriage, children, a lot of fun at holidays.........be honest about your feelings.  I am not a mushy, touchy-feely mom, but my kids never said they missed that.  It's not like I don't love my kids, I don't realize what they really want deep inside!  I know that, although we parents are close to perfection, we are not able to read our child's minds.  The fight is over, right?  You don't mention how serious it is, but forget about it, you can't change what was said.  Please talk to them.  Good luck. And try and pray about it!
66787
their your parents they are supposed to be in your business, they do it because they care nothing else. but if your really want them to stop make everything that you have accessable, they will eventually trust if they find nothing bad.
805300
i don't think its your parents decision. its up to you to decide if you want to join or not.
205976
yeah im working on this too but my parents are all about grades and shit not that stuff. uhhh what im doing, and it seems to be working, is to take more responsibility and like do crap around the house without them asking. come home when ur told, do stuff u wouldnt normally do, make sure u can do everything to help them out that u possibly can. suck up, be a tool, good luck.
412093
You seriously need to make some serious changes. You have to create boundaries. It sounds like the requests you have made are falling on deaf hears. It seems to me you are trying to make everyone happy except yourself. Tell them if you are going to live in my house these are the rules if they don't like them they can leave. When your mom came back you could of asked her why are you here? When she said why do i have to tell them to pay the electric bill, it was because she is the one who invited them to stay. The things you are going to have to do will be uncomfortable. Your family will not like the new assertive you. Your mom is dependent on you and you are her co dependent. When she threatened you by saying she was going to leave and you said fine go ahead she was testing you. She did leave but she came back and you let her stay. So now what you say and what she says and your actions don't match. It's like when a parent tells his child no but then lets them have what they want. You have to back up what you say with actions and stick to them. You have fallen into the role of parent. You are not the parent you are the child but now your mom is acting like the child and now you are her parent. I think she should help you more. Do you want your brothers there? You did nothing wrong what i think you possibly feel is guilt because it is your mother and you feel obligated but your not obligated. No one should be taken advantage of.
904676
I think that you should respect your parents call on this one hun...sorry.  You are only 13, and your parents love you and are protecting you from experiances that you are not yet ready to handle.
205040
You are suffering from rejection in my opinion. What did this doctor say was going on? It sounds like you wanted your parents attention and didn't receive it based on what you have written.\n\n Perhaps you had other siblings that demanded their attention, or they just ignored you. I had the same problem. It wasn't until I was 29 years old and got counseling that I understood what I was doing. I went through an exercise in forgiveness and was able to move on in that area of my life. It has never been a problem since.