Does anyone think maybe your spouse didn't change? You just woke up and stopped seeing them for what you?
488150
In the early stages of any relationship, it's easy to have blinders on. To not want to see who and what the other person is made of. Don't be too hard on yourself, you aren't the only person in the world who has done this, and god only knows you won't be the last! \nMy question to you is this....Now that you know this info...what are you going to do with it? \nHoney don't stay with someone who emotionally, sexually, or physically abuses you. You deserve so much more!!!
524888
Sounds as if he has moved on in his mind and left you and the marriage behind. Sad that after 8 years. How you can improve your marriage is how you react to the sitution right now. Don't beg or bug him about anything. Give him some room and the old saying if you set someone free and they come back they are yours is very true............
1031269
I just celebrated my 1st anniversary and the first weeks after the wedding were anticlimactic and I too was unhappy.  The reason:  The wedding and preparations were over.   And I thought "is this it?"  Reality set in with a quickness.\n\nAs time has progressed and problems have occurred, I think back to why I married this man and everything gets better.  Through this year I have threatened to leave he has threatened to leave, we have discussed counseling but we have done none of the above.  \n\nNow we have settled into a routine where we once again love and respect each other and we look forward to the years to come.\n\nYes we lost that spark but there was still an ember and we have fanned it into a blazing flame.\n\nGood luck
1105218
Very possible...when I was married I loved my husband dearly however I could not stand that asshole..soooo I divorced him and I'm happy again...:)
470035
Abuse. The sad thing is I probably would have stayed in that relationship a lot longer. But, then it happened! I had my son. The day I had him I knew I would never allow him to be exposed to that kind of a life. I remember thinking to myself, "My husband may be good enough for me but, he will never be good enough for my son because he doesn't care to change." Thankfully, now I know he wasn't good enough for either of us. I left the day that I got out of the hospital and never returned. My son and I lived happily ever after.
803859
My sister in law didn't show up after saying she would come.  My brother walked in the door without her.  She didn't come because I didn't invite her son from her first marriage his wife and their child (6  years old) and his wife's son from a first marriage (16 years old) and her daughter from that first marriage (18) and that girls boyfriend that she is shacked up with.  I was already cooking for 9 people and my husband is not with me this Thanksgiving because he is overseas.  (He is the big cook in the family)  I didn't feel I could cook for more than 9 people and still keep my sanity.  That was the drama this year.
869585
my ex didn't leave because of another man, but i left him because of another man.\nanother man HE was seeing, not me.\nit was really hard to imagine ANY of it happening.  i had NO idea.  i still shudder whenever i think of it.\nsorry to hear you're going thru this.
1039019
my wife was 13 years older than me....she had a problem with it...i didn't, sadly to say we are no longer together...she mistakenly thought i would prefer someone younger.So now i have lost her because of her false way of thinking.
604724
It's actually not all that uncommon. Any behavior that is out of sync with the norm will often get picked up by some remote realms of your senses, often times without you even being aware of it. Those impressions are still present when you relax and your mind begins to drift off. Most dreams come from our sub-consciousness, so those unnoticed differences are still present and accessible. Depending on how long you've been married, you may also still be developing the trust and commitment foundations. Every self-doubt and insecurity will make itself felt more as those foundations build. After a while though, those feelings will ease off, as you gain that trust, so just be patient if you haven't been married long. Good luck!
998569
I think if they had a choice they would not have been married again also.\nthey were married to someone they loved so much,that they remained faithful to his memory through the years.\n\nwill you pick me for the best answer this time to show people how yahoo answer is going to ?\nanyway I forgive you for what you've said.
92926
Sorry for you, i know its hard to feel this way but i was wondering the same for my fiend's husbands but i figured out that most men are the same after some years of marrige and I found that the same is going on in most of the series on the tv.  \ntry to fill your time with other things, and hope he misses you and change
1175611
15 years ago I was married to an abusive, selfish, lying disgusting unfaithful man.  I prayed and prayed to God and I let him know what kind of man I would love to have in my life.  I had a dream after a long night of abuse and lots of crying and praying.  The day I married my 2nd husband, I looked around and saw everything in the dream actually taking place around me, from water to flowers to the color of my husbands hair and what he was wearing.  I wouldn't call this a paranormal thing, it was a supernatural answer from the Lord.  It took 10 years for him to make my dream possible.  Like everything else he does, it was perfect.
790951
about 3 yrs ago, my husband and I had surgery at the same time, for different things. We were sleeping in the living room because neither one of us could sleep in bed (problems with laying down) I was on the couch and he was in the chair. He woke me up and said he saw a lady dressed in white with long hair sitting on the arm of the couch where I was sleeping. It scared him enough that he couldn't get back to sleep,and no matter what I said, I couldn't change his mind he still insists he saw her. I have no idea what he saw, or why.\nWeird huh?
624402
I have been almost in the same predicument as you, but my husband cheated on me first after 18 years of marriage. We have two children and not only did this effect me, it also had a great impact on the children as well. I did kick him out of the house and after a couple of weeks he realized that he wanted me back and to have life back to normal. Well that does not happen over night. The trust was gone, I was insecure with my self and felt that things could never be the same again. We remained living in the same house, seperate rooms, and trying to mend what happened, then he got into a bad accident as well. The accident was so bad that after leaving the hospital after 6 weeks, I had to nurture and nurse him everyday for the next year. After a complete year of this I cheated on him. I believe that I did this to fullfill the hurt,anxiety,and the insecurity I had about my self. He found out the same way by tapping the phone of reason's of suspition and confronted me. I did tell him the truth about everything. At that time I also said to him "How does it feel to have it happen to you, now we are even". Well set aside Love does hurt, and we all can be cruel either mentally or physically. We react weird to these typs of circumstances. But happy to say it has now been 7 years after this has all happened, and our love never died, it took a great deal of time for the trust factor to regain itself. I'm not saying that the trust will fully every be regained, but as your relationship heals and your thoughts and feeling are open and honest with each other this is a start. Marriage to me now is more important than I ever realized, I want to grow old together. Everyone is differant but place value on your love and family, and take baby steps. If all else fells and things can't be reconciled then be good friends for your children and yourselves. Good Luck. Good things take time.
32948
I don't think we ever "forget" them...I was married for 71/2 years...been divorced for almost 16 years...and I don't think there's ever been a day that I didn't "think" of my ex in one way or another...I'm not so much "in love" with him...but I do miss the times we had and I will always love what we were together!! When you think of her...always remember one thing...\n\nThere must have been something about her that was good because you loved her enough at one time to marry her.....:)
157654
I went through a similar situation....what I discoved was that it wasn't anything I had done, but the people he was housed with were either jealous we had a strong relationship and they didn't or just "got off" on seeing other people "hard time". They have a lot of time to think in there, and their own insecurities get the best of them sometimes. Hang in there! My husband has been out for 1 1/2 years, and everything has worked out. I wish the same for you.
598071
I have had some of those same dreams about my ex.  I really do not know what to tell you.  The shrink says that there are some unresolved issues that I have with him and that I need to work them out for myself.  The difference with me and you is that I have a child with my ex.  This puts a big dent in things on the disconnection side of things.  The biggest thing is that you have to realize that these are fears that you may have in your subconscious that you may have to deal with, to make your dreams stop.  It sounds like your husband is really jealous.  That is something that you two have to work out.  What I did is reassure my new husband that he is the only one for me and that will not change as long as he will have me.  That may work for you.  Sorry that I cannot be of much more assistance.  If you want more advice let me know, K.