why when you're with you're boyfriend/girlfriend for years it's all good, but once you marry, things change?
478910
Because the marriage changes one or both of you.  You look at things different.  Before it was easy and a bit carefree knowing you could always walk away.  Now you will have to work on being together.  Topics that you thought you knew about your spouse will come up and floor you.  Take money, it use to be you did what you did. Sure pay the bills and so on, but now that your married and you want to save for a house, the other person wants anew car.  Which way do you go?  Marriage take constant work. 13 years and counting for myself.  Best of luck to you
304820
No, it's fine. You've been together a very long time. Why not make things more convenient?
653114
A lot of people do walk in to marriage for the wrong reasons.  A lot of people are more in love with the idea of being married as opposed to the actual person they are marrying however when two people both understand the commitment and hard work that goes in to being married they go on to live great full filling lives. As long as people realize that a marriage is made up of a lot more than the honeymoon it can be very fantastic.  I can't think of anything more rewarding than knowing you have a life partner who will be there for you no matter what and who also shares the same goals for the future.  So to answer your question.  Yes it is that fantastic if people walk in to it with their eyes on the big picture and not the immediate gratification of a "marriage".
834044
yes very happy through both good and bad times, there is no one i would rather come home to or spend time with. we have been married for eight years and it just gets better everyday. the primary reason is that she understands/forgives my hobbies and interests and i understand hers. give and take and flexability on both sides make it much easier. the first year was just getting used to each others habits, and the more rigid (i will not/your fault/my way) additudes just scew it up. and forgive and forget. no grudges.
14
IMO... our lives are much more complex than our equivalents from 50 years ago and thus it's more likely for married people to grow in different directions over time (values, needs, etc.). Add to that how easy and acceptable it is to get a divorce, and how quick we are to dispose of things that we no longer want, and you get an increasing percentage.\nI wouldn't be surprised if in the not too distant future the average length of a marriage drops to ~5 years and the average number of marriages per person increases to 2+.\nA parallel to consider: how many different circles of friends do you have and how often have you joined new ones and left others behind over your life? (grade school, high school, college, jobs, etc.). We are a nomadic species. :)
483201
Think of it this way.  There are good things you can enjoy only when your single.  On the other hand, there are some great things that you can only get when your married
1006211
No, but it happens, love/marriage gets old, just keep in mind it might happen to everyone.
977788
You get married because you love that person and you want to spend the rest of your life with them. You want to really love that person and you know you are meant to be with them. There is not a time limit on love. You just choose.
217877
Yes, there are kind of person like that. They probably have some other interesting things to do in and maybe all their life, and neglect their partners (although they don't mean it).\n\nIf you marry him, you'll find really a roomate than a lover, believe me. There will be the moments you want to cry, wishing you were the other gal you see her with b/f or husband and they are so affectionate to each other ... If you watch around, you'll see even a male and a female animal in couple are affectionate with each other ...\n\nI even wonder what has been keeping you 9 years in that relationship ... Haven't you ever felt lonely in your heart ?
143572
If you were meant to be together then you will be together. When you get married its a union of two people that God has put together so if she says yes, its because it was meant to be.
742475
I would have to say all the answers above me are true.  People do marry for the wrong reasons or the reasons don't match or the reasons conflict.  Getting married because all your friends are getting married is the worse and so is because my biological clock is ticking.  I think what happens is that yes the vows are supposed to be sacred but, what happens is their points of view or their reasons are more sacred than a vow to another person and to their higher being.   In today's society where doing it your way has become so important, we forget there is another person "sharing" our lives.  We are so self absorbed with ourselves that the marriage is not a partnership where 2 people work together it has become a status symbol that we have lost the context or meaning of.  Personally, I have always taken words in most vows very seriously.  Till death do us part, could be a long time!!!  Maybe that is why I have taken looking for the "right" person so seriouly and so long.  I have been single all my life, 52 years.  Is this the right way or wrong way?  It's the way it happened.   I take the vows to heart and many do not.  They become enamored with the rite of marriage and ceremony and the attention.  I keep looking beyond that and see if I could live with the person next to me for the next 30-40 years and be happy.  If we all took the vows to heart, that it was like a life or death vow.  Maybe not so many people would get married so rashly.  Don't you think?  \n\nBTW I have a girlfriend now, she wants to marry me but, not for a few years.  I have no problem with that.  Gives us more time to learn more about each other.  She's great.\n\nGood luck
1144968
Yes, some women change, because the man changes after marriage.
496798
I was married for 20 years...got to the whole "'til death do you part" portion of the deal.  He was my absolute best friend, husband, lover...soulmate.  I do believe that in long term relationships there is no gray area, you either grow together, or you grow apart.  I have become who I am because of the life we shared and by having to survive his death...I am stronger, more independent, and hopefully one hell of a mother because of it all.
364260
Some people are addicted to the initial hormonal rush that comes from falling in love.  It only lasts for about a year, and after it wears off, they start detoxing and looking for a new love to get the hormones going again.  For this reason, some people shouldn't get married.
130227
I married my first and only love.  We were together for four years before we got married.  We were high school sweethearts.  We got married right out of high school and I would't have changed anything in the world.
507864
No. The big issues are what they always have been. What do you expect out of the marriage? Are you a good match? Do you love one another? Are you passionate together?  etc.
582017
I was very opposed to the idea of marriage for a long time.  But I'm now on my second marriage!  For one thing, a marriage is public statement of your relationship.  Its also a very official statement of commitment to each other.  For me, i was surprised that i actually felt more secure and serious about the relationships after I married.  People treat you differently, and many people just are more comfortable with married couples than living together couples.  Sure, marriage doesn't guarantee a forever relationship, but it makes the relationship 'official', both to the couple and the people around them.\n\nOf course, it also gives you legal rights.  For the most part, only married couples can share health insurance, have rights when the other is incapacitated, get alimony, adopt a child together.