am i goingt o be used? guys in military exspeacailly help please?
485239
what is his personality like? is he a player? your friends seem to think so. there's the possibility he will do that, even though you've been friends for five years. \n\nbut, he can only take advantage of you if you allow him to! just refuse to go that far with him. you have the power to control that. find the strength and be strong. get to know each other all over again intellectually from a "relationship" point of view.\n\ni have found that friends' opinions are usually right. they have a more objective view about the situation than the two people involved. plus, your friends are only trying to look out for you because they love you, and don't want to see you get hurt. however, in the end it is your decision.
603941
No, it certainly isn't enough to keep a relationship going. You have to have lots of patience and be able to communicate. Communicating certainly is tough right now and that's where the patience comes in. (Patience is also absolutely necessary when it comes to stubborn people as well!) Plus everything going on around us is bringing a lot of confusing feelings into play right now. That's not helping the situation and deployment just complicates matters. You guys are the only ones who will know if you can get through these tough times, but he mostly needs your support right now. He's physically in a world far far away from the life he's used to... and mentally, who knows where?
1054263
well, let's see...is your military boyfriend worth waiting for? and, is the military lifestyle a life you want to be a part of? these are questions you need to answer for yourself....there is nothing to guarantee that when he returns, you guys continue to hit it off and develop a long term relationship...and if you wait, you may have missed out on this other person...you need to decide your fate, what is right for you....take it slow with the other guy, see what develops
969460
He sounds very immature and many things could be going on within that framework.  You are lucky he is moving on before he really brings more immature and insensative actions into your life.  Be patient and hold out for a quality guy who cares about you and treats you with respect.  Have a blast while you're patiently waiting.  That will make the time go faster and attract more quality guys to you.  Good luck.
562382
That depends on you.  Do you feel that the Army, or any other branch of the military, can help you in your endeavors?  The military has a lot to offer, and you can take it far.  The military, however, is also not for everyone.  There can be long hours, but we have a lot of time off for that.  You could be sent to war, or not.  \n\nYou need to get all the information you can get, and be honest with yourself about the reasons you are joining.  Read the material, don't just look it over.  Ask people who judgment you trust.  See if there are people in your area that are in the Army, and ask them.  REMEMBER, tho, there are always people that aren't happy with what they are doing.  Some people like the military way of life, others don't.\n\nLife is full of decisions.  Unfortunately, this is one decision that YOU have to make.
237057
you just said it your all the things these guys are not and so i guess they must feel that if they are with you they don't need to be cause you can deal with all of it....and maybe your looking in the wrong places where do you meet these kind of guys?  by the way you sound perfect so don't worry I'm sure you will find the right guy sooner rather than later
608758
go online to any chat room that is near a military base.  There will be plenty of guys looking.  As for penpals, stay away from the ones that are to support the troops, since those are moral builders, not dating hot lines.
107757
If you are asking what I think you are you would be better off moving on to the next guy. go find one thats good for you and treats you right. you deserve it.
654107
Most guys aren't like him... I think he's a real catch, honey.  Maybe he'll propose to you before he leaves for Iraq.  I hope he'll stay safe there!  If you want, you can email me or something and keep in touch, because I'd like to know how this turns out.
393920
Dear Fallen,\n\nThe first thing to do is get out if that is what YOU truly want.  You shouldn't run off with the first thing that comes along either.  No man is going to make you happy until you can first be happy with yourself, on your own (I know that sounds difficult especially if you have always been with someone).  You will never be truly happy with someone if are not happy with yourself.  Move or get out but not because you met some guy you barley know, this could end up being worse especially if this man is married and or conflicted.  Do what is best for yourself and your children, that should be first and foremost! Do this and continue to speek and meet this man if it is safe after you have a better situation for yourself.  Maybe a True love will grow and not just the idea of better life/love because this man seems better than the one you have.  You may find this guy isn't that great or that he is great but, take time to really find this out.  Get yourself where you want be happy and healthy, and then you might find that there is even a better man out there.  If you have fear of violence from your current man, get help! Call the police if you are going to move out and tell them your concerns before hand and they will probably send out an officer to assist you.  If that is not an option you want to explore there are many groups that can assist women in that situation.  The main thing is to protect yourself, get a brother or other male family member that can help you move or help protect you.  There is no shame in telling family, friends or people who are willing to help that you have problems and need help.  The shame would be in not getting that help and bettering your life.  Weigh your options and make the best decision for yourself and children, just understand all that is involved and what, if any long term concerns could/can develop.  Good luck and God bless.\n\nThe Good Man
251873
Army guys, if movies have taught me anything, tend to be tough, testosterone-laden assholes, so you can expect a lot of verbal abuse, as well as a lot of grab-assing.  Deal with it by showing them you're just as tough as they think they are right away.  The sooner you gain their respect, the sooner you'll be treated as one of the guys, and not some cu te girl.
948089
I am ex navy, and I know what you are going Thu I am a guy, but I have dumped a lot of ladies, and I have been dumped.\nExperience is a great teacher, but it only works if you let it work for you. It is just like when you were in school when you pay attention to the instructor you pass the test, but if you do not then \nyou do not do so well. Do not stumble on the little things, follow \nyour mind, because when you follow your heart some times we make bad decisions, because emotions get in the way.\nThere are always someone out there for you. , But look for them in the right place. Etc. To find a drinker look in a bar, to find a cowboy go to a rodeo, to find a actor go to Hollywood,  I think you\nget the ideal. Do not be so hard on yourself there is enough time.\nLet me ask you this when you want somebody to get well, after you have refered them to a doctor, what is the next thing you do?\nWell I pray"\nHang in there
611743
I kind of think that if you have to ask yourself, "Am I being used?" Odds are, you ARE being used.  If someone does not make you feel your full worth, and if the energy he is putting into your relationship does not match your effort, then you should seriously re-evaluate the situation, because honey, you deserve one hundred per cent and no less. We all do.
259359
I do not think so, unless they  had left the base to meet with your wife instead of performing their duties.\nOnce they are off duty they can somewhat do what they want.\nIf they want to date someone they can, or sadly in your case be with a married woman. \nYou could report this to his CO, not sure if it will do any good, maybe his CO will have him ordered to stay on the military base
658212
Wow..You've got a long hard road ahead of you hun, yes, you do go where he will be stationed but, you don't deploy with him. I have no idea what state you live in but, you need to contact base houseing and ask them to put you in touch with a K.V ( Key volunteer) these are Army wife's, they can answer any question you have and be there for you when your husbands gone. Feel free to Email me if you have any other questions or just to chat. lvn3814@yahoo.com\n\nBy the way, I'm also a Military wife\n\nStay Strong
566469
Be supportive and understanding. He's not on a vacation. Patience is key and there will be times you'll want to speak with him and maybe he won't be able to give you the time you desire.Make what time you do have to speak with him quality time and don't expect quantity time then when you get it, it's a pleasant suprise.Try not to worry him over things he can't control while away. Handle as much as possible on your own. Being with someone in the military is different than other relationships. You play a very important role. You hold down the fort while he has to be gone...I wish you both the best...
600248
Unfortunately, we cannot make someone feel the same way about us or want a long-term relationship.\nSounds like the men you have been involved with just are not ready for that kind of commitment. I would strongly take a look at the kind of men you are attracting and perhaps go out of your way ,and give a chance to, someone who isn't necessarily your type. Even if it means going slightly out fo your comfort zone i.e. perhaps the nice guy at the bookstore or checkout counter that you might have let slip by at first glance. By doing this you'll have opened up more doors to find someone who is on the same wavelength as you, and who shares the same relationship values.