i am also married for 13 years and my husband cant stop talking to old girlfriend in fresno cailf do i put up?
464168
i guess you are putting up with it,after 13 years have you not learned anything.why do you do this to yourself.you need to move on and take care of yourself and find yourself.it is not right to live like that you deserve to be happy.
195896
You should ask her to descibe who the old you was, if it fits who you was then try going back to be that person. It seems like you got a bit shaky since you engage to her. Seems to me that you are worrying about the step you are about to take. Go back to being yourself, and remember do not change when you get married.
492684
Ahhh, I`m the same way. You are blessed. Make her your friend. We have been married 35 years and we are best friends. I am so glad for you.. Good luck and God Bless,... {:-)\n\n<><\nHave fun. Life is short.. Be honest with each other and show each other the same respect for each other that you would anyone else..
315363
You need to stop this fantasy ASAP. All you are doing is creating drama - You are either bored in your marriage, or are having problems that you'd rather avoid. Maybe you're thinking he can get you out of a situation, or "rescue" you in a sense.....Maybe you're not happy with where you are at in life at 34, and are trying to relive certain aspects of your younger life, before you made the choice to become a married woman...? Whatever the case, please recognize this for what it is......An unrealistic diversion from your REAL life. You can't possibly fix whatever is going on with your marriage until you devote to it 100% - And the preoccupation with this young (kid) will interfere with that. My advice would be to come back to reality, before you take this attraction to some other level, and come back asking what you should do then........
425149
I've been married for 14 years and have continuously thought of my first true love.  Just about 2 months ago I came across his email address and contacted him through email.  Yea, he's married but is so glad that I contacted him.  I'm still his true love although he's now married as well as myself.  We email and occassionally he calls me.  It was such a relief to finally be able to talk with him.  He lives hours away, but we email each other daily.  So, I'm telling you, contact her.  You'll be glad you did.
887360
After 36 years of marriage i guess i am just about qualified to answer you. It is a hard road to travel.. believe me!! you have to work at staying married for this long. It is not all sweetness and light as there have been times when i have wanted to just pack up and go but i have a deep sense of responsibility to my family, even though our kids are all grownups now.My wife has no doubt felt the same at times. So the answer is..Think about what you are going to do, before you do it and consider what effect it might have on your other half. Tell her that you love her often and show it!! Flowers and little treats work wonders. Keep your lust alive as sex is important even as you get older. It is the best way of communicating your love for each other. Do not have secrets that might hurt the other one. Be truthful. Make time for each other, hold hands when you walk out together. Sneak a kiss in public. Look after each other and always back each other up. I could go on and on but i am sure that you get the idea. I am 61 and she is 56. We still sleep together  sharing a double bed. Like I say,love, lust, hard work and consideration are important as is being freinds as well.
1082332
First off, she is NOT your wifes best friend if she would make advances towards you. If I were the wife I would not want to know if it has all been stopped and I mean stopped. Do NOT ever be alone with this woman again. She (and your stupidness) could ruin your marriage. I've been in this situation with my spouse of 35 years. I was the stupid one and I too came to my senses. When he tried again I told him it never happened. He got the message. I vowed never to put myself in that situation again. I did NOT tell my husband and the other person eventually disappeared from our lives.  I am glad I did not tell.  There would have always been that doubt planted.  I know I have behaved ever since but he might wonder. Should the best friend decide to tell then you have your problem to deal with.  Avoid her unless wife is around. Some will say it was just a kiss but there is a seriousness here.  Good luck
1029788
I agree with incan princess ...\n\nThe problem is really YOU !!\n\nFirstly ..you go snopping around his things . you have no respect for other peoples privacy... dont you have a job or something to do instead??\n\nWere you thinking that you where helping a realtionship by doing so ??\n\nNext ,you put out this question up on Yahoo answers and lable it for ladies only.\n\nI am married too .. do you know that i too know many things. My wife is beside me write now ..\n\nwe both agree that you need to change your attitude towards things and your relationship. Show some respect towards your husband. Its probably your behavior that lead him to do what he is doing ... in the first place !!\n\nAnd yes .. for gods sakes .. dont bring a baby into this world  - then go for a divorce. Poor child ...\n\nDisappointed with you !
306912
are you sure that you are married? i mean having a relationship w/out communication is worst than being divorced. My dear, if the situation is too stressfull for you try going out with ur friends and try to plan a trip into the beauty saloon.....make yourself beautiful and let ur husband remember that he chose you to be his bride a long time ago
790496
you're his wife, now and given the past I would demand that they only talk when it involves their child and with you there.If he has a problem with that I would wonder what those two are REALLY talking about\nHe left you for her once,so beware, sounds like he wants his cake and eat it too.\nI hate to tell you, cause it hurts, but in my opinion, he's clearly not over her. If I was in your shoes I would be angry and insecure as well.I won't tell you ,you should leave cause that's easier said than done, when you love some one. But at least talk to him.\n\nyou can't control what people do, but you can control what you let them do to you.
524888
Sounds as if he has moved on in his mind and left you and the marriage behind. Sad that after 8 years. How you can improve your marriage is how you react to the sitution right now. Don't beg or bug him about anything. Give him some room and the old saying if you set someone free and they come back they are yours is very true............
452042
youre married. right, email him why not? you missed your ten years then rebond again but talk to him. make sure he respect you as a fren and only a fren. youre married remember that. and be happy for him if he has a soulmate already
142577
Well first let me say thank you for the job you are doing, I certainly can't believe it is all you had hoped for.\nAs for your wife, she sounds immature and selfish from what you say. You are already away from her and have been for three years, you don't say how long you were together before marriage to her. MY heart says leave her, kinda like you can't lose something you never had, kinda thing. If that makes any sense. This basically goes against alot of how I feel about marriage, though I certainly believe there are always mitigating factors to take into account.\n If you divorce her, you know longer will be smacking yourself upside the head and can get on with life. Yes you love her and that makes it hard to let go. To tell you the truth it sure can't be any harder than the thankless job you are doing right now, of which I commend you and those with you. \n I am truly sorry that your wife is so immature and refuses to discuss issues with you, but that should tell you something. This is just what I think because I hate like heck to see anyone suffer at the hands of another. Please take care and stay safe.
33176
I met my wife at 22.  but I told her I wasnt getting married till I was 30.  she broke me at 28.  I knew I wanted to get married and I new she was the one, so there was no need to wait any longer.  But I have to admit, I wasnt ready one day before I came to that realization.  My best advice to you, would be to express to him in a loving way, how much it means to you.  Ya know, subtle hints...and lots of um.  \nNo nagging, No whining.  He will either get sick of you talking about it and give in, or he will get sick of you talking about it and leave you.  Either way it just depends on what you want out of life.
877553
forget about her and the ring , u r a married man now so act like it , put the past in the past
973345
No way this is normal. You need to put a stop to this-pronto!   There is a reason she is the "ex" so you have every right to remind him of this. He should be over her by now and have made the commitment of being with you. He's married to you now so he hasn't any reason discussing anything with her or being under her control. With exception of talking about the kid anything else concerning the two of you is is none of her business. He's out of whack for communicating with her like this. Time for a reality adjustment. So get up close in his face and tell him in no uncertain terms to shut that big mouth of his. What a lot of nerve. If you're wondering about what I think I think it sucks big time and is callous and disrespectful toward you. That shrew of an ex needs to be put in her place also. Who cares if she went "nuts". She's nuts if she thinks she had any say about the two of you being married! Who the hell is she anyway? Tell her to butt out of your lives. Share a relationship with the ex? God no!! So put your foot down unless you're considering becoming another ex.
1048271
Firstly must say you seem like a very special man. Secondary I shall say that it is time that you concentrate on yourself a bit more (to be able to move forward)\n\nBe respectful, always reliable, helpful, be understanding, be her shoulder to cry on (life is funny.. but wheel turns). But at the same time give her space at this time as you don’t want to loose her.\n\nI had a friend who his wife left him for another man. They have two kids together. He was always there for her (but had other girlfriend but did not commit 100%: in fact I was one J ). If she was sick, or needed something, or pick their kids up: he was always there, kept nice contact with ex-in laws because of the kids.. She went back to him when she was in trouble. He let her. He let her leave him again for yet another man (even married) He was her friend, warned her about the guy who ended up to be an abuser. She left this guy in the end, she matured, and they now together (but he did not remarry), He is now 48, his wife 8 year younger. He married he as she was only 19.\n\n*******************************\nJust remember:\n*******************************\n\nForming a relationship with your ex is entirely separate from the process of ending a marriage; if you work through the process to achieve your "emotional divorce," you can cultivate something entirely new. Your old relationship is over; take the steps to heal so that you can invest your energy elsewhere.\n\nGood luck.\n\nps meant to say: and you get a new hobby and have fun with other people as soon you will feel better and might make new friends and will not feel lonely. The reason why we LOVe or MISS people is beuase we miss that comunication. Once you communicate with others it will be better for you. And who knows, maybe your ex -wife seeing how popular and outgoing you are might ant to herself be your friend asap.........  show her your new side that she did not see before :-)