my boyfriend drinks how can i let him quit?
456496
Unfortunately, there is only one solution I can think of to remedy his problem.  You're going to have to help him find something else to do with his mouth.  =)
941957
What a totally bogus kick in the teeth. Of all the low down rotten disrespect. It's not a question of who to be mad at as the anger and resentment  seething inside you is plenty for the both of them. You have every right to be mad at both of those two miscreants. Your first reaction would be that you probably would like to ring both of their necks and I don't blame you. This is all so terribly sad.\n  Anger aside you should reevaluate your relationship with with this so called "boyfriend". He seems very controlled by that idiot rat-friend of his. Him you can write off as a bad influence, a clot headed loser who doesn't even deserve the right time of day.  \nBut your boyfriend. Because of the money spent on the booze pay special attention to his use of alcohol. This should serve as a warning to any future interaction with him. You will never have any positive relationship with a drunk. Take some time for yourself and get your feelings sorted out even if it means not seeing him for a while. You may need a break from him. He really needs to make some kind of a decision as to how he feels about being with you. Guilt or no guilt this little escapade of his may illustrate his true feelings.
288309
Tell him he has a problem and that he needs to get help if he "is not able to".  \n\nIf he still doesn't do anything after that to try and kick his alcoholism, dump him.
654706
Edith is right in a way. You can't change him, or lecture him  into changing. If you try to talk him into quitting he will just figure out a way to hide it from you so that you will get off his back. The more he lies about it the further he will drift from you. You are not in control of him, you are only in control of yourself. That means if his drinking is harming you tell him it isn't OK. If he doesn't quit let him know it is a deal breaker and leave. If he has to suffer ALL the consequences and problems that his drinking causes (including possibly losing you) he will see the problem with it much faster. This is the most powerful thing you can do to help him quit. Allow him to hurt himself so he sees the problem, not just hears it from you. You can only pray he sees the problem before he kills himself or someone else. The only thing you can change in this relationship is you. \nAnother option is to check out alanon. It is a group therapy type setting for the family and friends of alcoholics. I find it to be an incredible source of support. I have learned how to set boundaries and stand behind them with strength. I don't let people come in to my life and create wreckage anymore. I wish you strength sweet one!\n\ncheck out the alanon website. It is full of great information to help you and him. It can also help you find a group in your area if you wish.
29391
It would help some to know how old you are first.  I will assume that all parties of of legal age (21)since it is not otherwise stated.\nDoes your girl have a drinking problem?  If not it is pretty unreasonable for you to ask her not to drink.  What right do you have?   If she does have a drinking problem, asking her not to drink will not make her not drink.  \n\nAlso, asking anyone not to hang out with their friends is not reasonable what right do you have to tell her who she can and cannot hang out with?  \n\nYou are correct though, she shouldn't have agreed to what you asked, as you are overstepping your bounds as a boyfriend.  \n\nYou ask her to do things that are not reasonable, then you get mad when she doesn't do them.  You don't trust her to start with, then you ask her to keep promises that you know she won't and you then in turn trust her even less.  You are making yourself miserable, you either need to learn what you limits are as a boyfriend (what you can ask another person to do/not do) or you need to get out of this relationship.   \n\nHow would you feel if she asked you to do the same things that you ask of her?  Would you feel it was fair?  You might feel that you are trying to look out for her best interest, but it sounds like it might be coming across as overbearing.\n\n*UPDATED*  I can't solve your problem.  Relationships are hard and yet simple, either you and the other person are happy, or you aren't.  If you both aren't happy, and you've tried to make it better and you still aren't happy, then what's the point of continuing?  You can not change a persons behavior and although, you may want to look out for her and vice versa you can not make her do something she doesn't want to.  Just like she can't make you do something you don't want to do.  You only do it because you want to, you want to please her and make her happy.  It's a two way street, you can give her your opinion and your advice, but you can't make her do anything. If you are happy with her behavior then stay, if not leave; she is going to be who she is, if you don't like that then maybe you don't really like her, but you like who you can turn her into; which again isn't really her.  Regardless, you either stay or leave it is your choice, but know who she is as a person and know that you can only advise and nothing more then that.  *********************\n2-1-06\nIt's sad, she needs to learn to love herself.  She has to learn to do that on her own, sadly; you cannot teach her that.  That's all I have to say about this, and I mean it this time.
604398
This will sound harsh but if you insist on enabling him and thereby losing control of your own life and thoughts ... I'd suggest buying him more booze and hope the end comes soon. On a more serious note, you could seek counseling for both you and him and for god's sake, get him to join AA.
731757
OK what is the background?\nhas he always drank a lot when he does drink, and if so how did  treat you then? what about when he isn't drinking how is he then?\ni don't know the details to me it looks like he is angry at you for something, but doesn't know how to talk about it, is he resentful about someone you know, or is he jealous, does he blame you for something in his life that isn't going the way he wants? if this is a behavior that he often has, you need to get out. if it isn't then he needs to talk to you about what is bothering him. but the most important thing is he needs to quit drinking, that is never the answer.
749694
Tell him you love him and will help him and support him if he choses to stop. Otherwise tell him that it is you or the cigarettes. Remember that a bad habit is more easily broken when it is replaced by a good habit. Good Luck!
1067618
HI THERE!\n\nFOR A CHANGE CAN YOU GO AND DRINK JUST FOR ONCE INFRONT OF HIM AND GET REALLY DRUNK\n\nTELL HIM AS MUCH AS HE WILL DRINK YOU WILL DRINK TWICE\n\nIAM SURE HE WONT LET YOU DRINK TWO GLASS\n\nIF HE DOESNT STOP YOU AND PROMISES HE WONT DRINK AGAIN THAN THAT WOULD MEAN HE DOESNT LOVE YOU SO YOU BETTER CHANGE YOUR FONE # AND TELL YOUR PARENTS THAT IF HE COMES NEAR YOUR HOUS ETHEY SHOULD CALL THE POLICE
741059
Be mature about it dear. Simply tell him that you are giving it up(the relationship). By letting him know will alleviate the game playing. He won't say that you lead him on....
473868
Oh boy...you need to just leave him. He's playing mind games with you so you won't leave life is way too short to stay in a relationship out of pity and guilt. If you make the first step in leaving him maybe he will clue in that you are serious.Leave him a letter explaining why you have left as well as some Alcoholics Anonymous pamphlets maybe he will clue in and get help and if you feel like things could be worked out seek counselling alone as well as with him. I have a Friend who went through a similar situation and she finally left the guy and he used to say he'd kill himself if she left...well she left and he's still alive.He too has a major drinking problem but won't admit to it. It's really sad, I think, that anyone would chose booze over their spouse.try your best to get him help but don't do all the footwork for him make him see that he's hurting you and leave asap.
790208
it could help if you work out when he is most likley to want to drink together then work out some way of doing something at those times or a hobby of some sort, and you can take that up together, help keep him motervated, the most of the battle is having the will which he obviously does to cut down that much so keep him motervated, draw up a list of reasons that he wants to stop, u could even put a photo of yourself on it for him, and just support to, if he relapses, then he will proberly feel bad so just help him cope with that
612014
Yes it only gets harder the longer you smoke. What I would do is tell him if he is going to continue to smoke that you don't want to be with him anymore because it is not good for him and you are only looking toward his well-being.  Make him realize that life is too precious to let cigarettes kill him.  If he choose cigarettes over you then he never really loved you and you shouldn't be with him anyway, but if he chooses you and quits smoking then you are free!  Good luck!
83246
Go to www.Anti-Smoking.com. There are valuble guidlines and tips that will help you convince him/her, such as the illnesess. For drinking, go to alcoholism.about.com/od/support/.
676301
Have you ever tried asking a smoker if he was able to quit after the first cigarette?\n\nTry asking a drunkard if he was able to give up drinking after the first shot.\n\nNobody in this world would be saying the truth if they say that they would not induldge in infedility if they have done it once. If ur grl had done it in the past with ur friend, I bet she would do it again with somebody else, if not ur friend, and you cannot trust her anymore than you can trust the devil when he says he would not harm you by being good to you.\n\nSo, leave her and find someone who is truly for you and you only.
594232
girl i am a mom of four kids and i had the same problem about 2 years ago he would take off drinking since thursday and come home sunday night finally when i would ask him he would say because of our finacial problems.  So i went out and got a job and when i told him iwas gonna start going out and drinking he calmed down a lot he still drinks but it nothing like b4.  U need to scare him and he will change we have been together 8 years and now we are happier than ever SCARE HIM DON'T BE AFRAID I WAS AT FIRST BUT TRUST ME HE WILL CHANGE.  \n\n\nGOOD LUCK LET ME KNOW WHAT HAPPENS K
161116
If I were you, I wouldn't try to get "even Steven" with him because I wouldn't want to stoop to that level, you know? Talk with him when he's sober enough and let him know how you feel. May I suggest couples' counseling as well? But I'd advise to not get even with him for it could even encourage his behavior if you do.