what do I do when my b/f will not  help take care of his kid when he thinks it is not his but it is?
466578
Ask him to take a paternity test voluntarily, he may just be in denial. If he will not do it willingly go to social services or family court and sue for support, he will then need to take a paternity test to prove he is not the father.
562208
You need to get and keep him out of your life. He can still be in your babies life but you need to cut all ties off from him.Obviously he has no respect for you and is playing you for the fool. \nI know its not easy but you need to take a stand and find yourself someone who will treat you right.\n\nGood luck you deserve better then that!
670046
Listen honey I have been in a bad relationship myself and know where you arecoming from you have to stand up for yourself and move on you say you can't leacve Why? they have got you to the point where you are wallowing in self pity just as they like you. What is happening here is domestic abuse and it has to end before you end first. For your childrens sake leave him if he don't like it tell him where to go ****himself or tell him if he loves you to stand up to his family for you though from the sound of it he is week as s**t no man should ever allow anyone including his family to run you down. I wish i could do more for you but sadly I can't if you need to chat though send me an email and I will keep chatting and offering no strings advice I am a voluntary member of the samaritans and will make timwe to chat if you need me.
207026
Honestly explain to him first that you feel like you're not trusted with the child and let him know how that makes you feel. If you two are in agreement then you can approach the mother in a non-threatening way and let her know that you'd like to be more involved. you are a step-parent here and should be.
50426
I know for a fact that parenting is not an easy task, maybe he's not ready after all. You said it already "his jobless and irresponsible." In that case i'm not so sure if he could be a good figure to your kid but please don't spare the love ur child needed ok. But honestly, I can't comment on the part that you being in love w/ him, there's no explanation it's all up to you. And everyone is stupid about love so ur not just the only one. LOL!  \n\nKeep smiling ... enjoy! \nI hope you get to know your soulmate!
382497
Be grateful that he isn't a deadbeat daddy for one thing! Talk to him about how you feel. I don't know the specifics about your relationship, but think about WHY you feel he is obligated to his baby's mother. Of course you should understand that he has a responsibility to his son.
567259
If it's not his dad, keep clear.  Maybe he's taking over a dad's responsibility.  Keep clear again.  This kid will need a dad.  If his 'dad' is doing everything a dad needs to to then leave well alone.  Don't cause friction.  If the kid is happy with the arrangement, leave well alone.  They'll work it out in the future.  Don't interfere.  Let fate take it's toll without your input.
1073975
You should try to see things from the gfrends perspective as well she is carrying his child and this entails responsibility from him! Don't forget that he could've left her before she fell pregnant but chose not to! Ask him why and if he is so unhappy he still has a choice he can leave her and still support his child and be with you there will be harsh consequences to face but if he loves you the way he says he does then he'll fight all odds! Talk to him name his choices and if he still refuses to change his mind and follow the more difficult road then he is playing games with you and with his girlfriend!
440641
You have to ask yourself do you really want this person raising a kid? It sounds like he can't even take care of himself. He's not doing it to you. He's doing it to himself and you just happen to be part of it. Yes, this situation is awful but you just have to accept it and move on. Try and lean on friends and family. Look into non-profit programs to get what you need (whether it be food, housing, day care, or just someone to talk to). Him being in your life and the baby is going to bring you nothing but trouble. So you'll just have to trudge thru this. It will be hard but you and your kid will be better off without him and his problems.
1017878
Go with your own instinct.You  may want to keep the peace by agreeing with your hubby, but if you feel your child is not in a healthy situation with his father's family, then it is your first responsibility to put your child's welfare above your husband's feelings.
106327
you NEED to break it off with this dumb guy! if he doesn't care about your kids, which you should care MOST about, then he is no good for you! and to answer the question, i'm gonna have to say no because if he really loved you he would love every part of you including your children!
681062
There is not much you can do for someone who is not willing to  help themselves.  You should be the one to drop off and pick up the kids.  SMART MOVE.  It is not a real good way to show parenting skills if he is a drunk.   I question is ability to take care of the kids?  Suggest AA or a treatment center in your area to help him regain his self confidence within himself.  It is better to help him out than to turn against him, if nothing else put for the kids sake.  Best wishes to you all
1051028
Looks like you're afraid of him having rights to raise this child should you die. If you don't want him to have rights to is child, you'll need to get him to sign a legal document signing his rights away.\nOf course if he does sign his rights away he won't be liable for child support.\nCheck with your local social services office & ask them... "If he signs away his rights to this child will /can the back child support still be collected?"...\nYes, do bring him forth & establish paternity.
250691
I would stay clear of him for a looong time.  Clearly, he has some growing up to do.  You are WAY too young to be involved with someone like that.  And if he's not stepping up and being a man by supporting his baby, don't think twice that he wouldn't do the same to YOU.
114463
I would say your man doesnt respect your feelings for him or respect you. If he did he wont be behaving the way he is right now. I suggest you dump him. That should be your goal. Get selfish. And being selfish is not getting back at him or getting even, its just you are trying to protect yours and ur baby's future. Find a job, start working, be a woman, be empowered, live life and find peace.
602795
He should take care of it, not you.  And if he doesn't take care of it then HE is your problem, not her.
880094
I think that you should leave him and look for somebody who will love you in return  before you leave him tell him that he can see the baby anytime he wants.  Tell him you deserve to be loved and that you need somebody that you can trust not to hide anything if he really cares about you and the baby he'll try to work out things between the two of you.  If not then you might as well start looking for somebody else.