wife is addicted to crack we seperated and its killing me how do i get over it when i still care?
457136
get her some help quick.
359726
Ok your friend needs serious help.  My ex husband started using crack and after our divorce, I found out it was the same way with him.  When he was high, he would find other men to have sex with.  It's all about the drugs.  Get your friend off drugs...fast!
1018180
honestly i know how u feel, but trying to "control" the situation, that iswhat u r doing, will only make mattersworse, shewill go into further rebellion, and things in the marriage will go down hill.   part of Love is free and what holds it together is trust (and God) but if you don't have either of these it will never last.  you need to let her do her thing( not saying im choosing sides)  but if you let love go and its true love it will come back.  if you smother and squeeze it, it will flee from you.  as hard as it is, you need to give her what she needs (space and freedom) she is in the wrong ( married people do not belong at BARS).  LET GO OF THE REIGNS bite your tongue, and tell her go ahead (just pray when shes out that she will come to realize its not the place to be. good luck
688115
Take a break. You've been betrayed. \nGo away for a little while, maybe, but this one is going to take some time, if ever.\nStop imagining that she was having sex like she does with you.\nDon't do that to yourself, because I guarantee it wasn't. Only the two of you have sex like the two of you.\nCan you handle the answer if you ask her to give you a blow- by-blow description of the night? A sort of "putting yourself in her shoes" for the night?\nIt's risky, but if you can listen, It just may benefit you so you can be angry, and then move on either way.\nShe should be ashamed of herself, and getting angry at her once and blasting her does not relieve her of the tremendous weight she's put on you.\nYou may never be able to trust her again. That sucks for you, because you had no part in it, and want things the way they were.\nWas there a problem that wasn't being addressed before this night?\nDoes anyone have their head buried in the sand??\nYou may need to take this time to get right into each others brains and decided what each of you REALLY wants out of life.\nPlease don't make the same mistake she did. You'll hate yourself.\nI can say that it is not the worst thing that can happen, but it is way up there.\nShe betrayed you, plain and simple. maybe she should live without you for a while and the two of you can really see where you're at. get yourself some legal assistance so you don't lose touch with your child.
128142
You have answered your own question.  All the things you mentioned - you will need to bring back.  Opening the communication is the 1st step to recovery.\n\nOr you could sigh up for Wife Swap.
450555
you will get over it trust me!!! Give it time! Keep busy
788470
Tippy, the only way you are going to be able to deal with this is to forget it.  When you start remembering, stop.  Imagine something brings a smile to your face.  It's not wrong to stay with a man that you love, even if he's cheated.  But honey, it's your mental health that is taking the punishment.  You are going to have to forgive and forget to make it.  It's not easy and it's not going to happen over night.  I am sorry, your heart breaking is got to stop before it completly breaks.  \n\nDoes your husband help you?  What I mean has he ask for forgiveness?  Does he show you emotional support?  Honey, you need for him to help you with this.  Believe it or not, you need him to help heal from this wound.  He needs to be more loving, and shows that he cares that he hurt you.  If he's just blowing it off, like it happen-get over it-then you may never be able to fully forgive him and stop the tears.  He's the kleenex, he's the one that needs to wipe them away with his love.  \n\nHoney, you must remove the images, clean out all the thoughts of them together.  You are grieving in a sense, you have been betrayed, and it's like part of you has died.  It hurts, and it's so hard, but it can be done.  If you want to save your marriage, you are going to have too!  Your husband may have be so wrong, but now it's your turn to make sure you don't make it worse.  If you feel the tears coming on-focus on something else. Anything, but that.  When you start, or catch yourself thinking remember this...it's in the past and today's a new day, each day it will get less and less.  Your husband has got to do his part sweetie.  You can't make a marriage by yourself,  No matter how much you love him, unless you are going to be a silent wife, and just let him do what he wants when he wants.  You deserve so much more than that.  You deserve to be loved and respected, it's your choice your decision rather to forgive, and if this is what you want to do, you must not dwell on it any longer.  Kick yourself in the butt, if you have too.  I am so very sorry, no one should have their heart broken like this, but you aren't alone, and many marriages have become stronger from living thru what you are going through right now.  So, please dry those tears, take a deep breath, and remember it's all your choice how you deal with it.\nPraying that your heart mends, and the memories are forgotten, and that you have the strength to know you are worth true love and respect from the one you GAVE your heart to.  \n\nGod bless us all............
372326
Right now you don't need to worry about her or getting her back into your life.  Focus on yourself and your drug use.  Stay off the drugs and things will work out the way they are supposed to work out (not necessarily the way you want them to).
974228
Don't listen to all the negativity that people are posting.  You can make it through this if you are both wanting too..and it sounds like you want to very much and she is cautiously willing.  So that is good.\nYou are both young with a toddler and you're a newly married couple...so with all of these changes in your lives that can be alot to take on and manage. It is good that you are both realizing that there are changes that need to be made to make your family work. So suggest to her that you would be willing to go to counseling even if it is once a month or every other week.  It's not a bad thing to have someone in the middle of the issues to sort things out.  \nJust keep on being open with her and be honest on your wanting to change some things. Also take some time to take her out...just the two of you have an evening out once in a while...be silly have fun...just be together...I bet it's been a while since you have done that. If you combine those things together you are off to a great start.  \nAny relationship needs work and there will ALWAYS (no matter how long you are married for) be rough spots that need to be worked through...it's ongoing. But as long as both people are committed to each other and seeing the family thrive then your really working from a good foundation.\nDon't give up there is ALWAYS hope!!!  Best wishes to you in winning your wife back!!!
140488
You are not alone. I will pray for you to find the strength to be the kind of person you know you can be, loving, caring and giving. I pray that you can overcome your addiction to drugs, that are clouding your vision of being a loving mother. Remember God is with you at all times. Please pray for me also. God Bless You and keep you safe.
60391
Dint you realise whom are u getting married to in the first place and if not.. now if at all you want to separate and move away from your marriage then i believe you must be having a strong feeling of hatred towards her... if you do then why are you bothered about her mind and her not agreeing about things... just consult a lawyer and get your way cleared...\nBUT... if you are worried and bothered about her mental state then somewhere you still feel for her... get those feelings ahead and try to give yourself a second chance...\n\nRemember LIFE is NOT about quiting the tough tasks in your path... go around ... fight them .... Make situations turn ... Life then would be worth living...\n\nAlso dont forget...Once a looser always a looser... Be a fighter.. After all she's your wife and who would know more about her than you do... Tackle her in her own way...Humans do change... \n\nAnd moreover for a Wife, her Husbands love can definitely do the magic...
222595
that is a tough one because i was a meth addict before i met my 2nd husband and there has been twice in the past 10 years that we have been together that i have started using. without telling him.  igot our bills way behind and made him lose his bad credit. but he has also always been there to pick up the pieces. him and some of my other family have got me into church and now i have them plus Gods help. be careful, and good luck, and pray about it ask God what you should do but you have to really open your heart to him to hear the answer, and he may not answer it right away but no prayer goes unanswered.  God Bless You!!!
985495
You have a big problem, get help. Any addiction and you called it an addiction first is bad. If you love your wife talk to her show her you care more about her then the smut. She is having your kid and studies show that one of the most common times men cheat is when the significant other is pregnant. Good luck bro.
1052971
My boyfriend's family is full of drug addicts, so I have lots of experience in this.  They are past the point of getting help.  It sounds like your loved-one is not.  I would tell him right now that he needs to go get help.  I would not ignore the problem.  It only gets worse.  You need to stand strong.  Don't feel sorry for him.  But, do not let him just run- you have to let him know that he is cared for.  Most importantly, DO NOT lend him money (he will only use it to buy more crack).  DO NOT let him use your car for any reason.  DO NOT let him live in your house- he'll steal things from you to pawn to buy crack.  This is out of his control- he's an addict now and he needs to go into rehab.
33677
Wow that is a tough situation to be and I know several in that same boat. Whether it is alcohol or pot or other illegal substances, the decision is only his to stop. The thing to do for yourself, assuming you are not using,is to go to get counseling see if your spouse is willing, though I have heard they very seldom tell the truth about what they do or especially how much. If it is hurting your relationship then maybe it is time to communicate this to him. I wish I could offer more. I feel for you. Good luck
256358
Oh boy,So sorry to hear you are having so many problems with your wife!I have two children also.And I am pretty much trying to keep things together for them too.However,The hubby and I have had drug problems,also!As a matter of fact we are still trying to stay clean!And are on a maintenance drug,prescribed by our doctor to remain clean!We see are addiction specialist every month!And it helps a Great deal!                               Perhaps,you should talk to your wife and tell her she needs to get help with her drug addiction!Drugs are way eXpensive!Trust me!Are you sure that she's not spending ALOT of the money on them?Because once a person is addicted they will do anything to get the drugs they need!I know Alot of people addicted.And I even know people who have passed on due to their drug abuse.If it is just weed she is using that isn't as bad!I am talking about Hard drugs!Like CoCaine and Herione,and crystal meth,Etc.These drugs can make a person LOSE everything!Even their family's!I have seen it happen too many times!And it almost happened to me but 'thank-god'I have changed my ways!                      You really need to try to talk to her about getting help!Like a rehab or detoX,etc!At first she may be in denial.And say that she doesn't have a problem!Everyone says that.Until they hit rock bottom or something really bad happens.With some people that is what it takes to quit.Then again some people don't even quit then.They don't stop till their in jail or unfortunately in the cemetary!I don't know how bad your spouses drug problem is.                       I really need a little more detail.But,if it is bad.She definately needs help.You would also benefit with support groups.Or go to a narcotics anonymous meeting with her.Or perhaps counseling.How is she with your boys?I hope they do not know about her addictions.If you don't want to leave her,or divorce her, and take the boys.Then you should get her some help,and some counseling for the family.           I have been living with addiction for years now.And it's no fun!She may hate you for wanting to get her help.But someday she will thank-you when she is clean.This may be another reason she will not,or should I say can't work.It is almost impossible for a drug addict/alcoholic to keep a job!Trust me I know my hubby is a recovering addict!Who relapses constantly!                                        The disease consumes you.And it's almost impossible to just quit.Without professional help.I also know alot of people who abuse pain/anxiety medication prescribed to them,to the point that they can NOT function!It's dangerous.But they don't care!                                             Anyhow,I honestly think that if you tried to get her help,things might get better.But,if she cheats again I would be done.Please try not be so depressed,try to change this situation.And if you can't after trying to help her so many times.And giving her mutiple chances!Then take your boys and tell her if she don't clean her act up.That's it.You are taking custody of them.Because you and the boys would be better off.                                   Being a 'bored' housewife,is hardly a reason to cheat!She should be glad your supporting her and your boys!And that you give her money!To by drugs,shop,spend,and buy more drugs!And that you love her,and your boys enough to put up with all of this!Please,don't feel like this is your fault.I have seen to may people go through this,and I have been there myself.                                        It is the addiction,the disease.She may not ever be herself again until she admits to having a problem.Some people in denial never fully recover.And depression is to be eXpected when the both of you are dealing with all of this.Depression sucks!I have it too.I really suggest some counseling.the medication may make you feel a little bit better.Till you get this all str
499500
you can't and don't waste your time, the addict cares about nothing but drugs, you aren't talking to them you are talking to drugs and the effects they have. that person is just a shell that is currently housing a monster who cares for nothing and nobody except where his next fix is coming from. the best thing you can do is educate yourself on addiction and talk to people (they have groups) of family and friends of addicts, these people have been there and done that. loving an addict is the equivalent of beating your head against a brick wall daily and wondering why it still hurts you everyday. until that person decides they want help anything you do does nothing but feed the addiction, when they decide to get help thats when they need love, until then its a waste of time and energy. its a harsh and horrible situation but you also have to remember its their choice, they chose to be in this situation and they choose to stay there everyday.