does anyone know a good joke I can tell tonight at a party?
473587
a horse walks into a bar.  the bartender says "hey bu.. bu... bu... hey bu... bu... buddy, why th... th... th... th... the long fuh fuh face?"\n\nwow, what a terrific audience!
1055509
Tell him/her that u are with some other guy/girl AND he&#92;she wil make a joke of urself
211884
Cool joke:\n"Dad, what is politics?"\n"Politics? Well, consider our home. I am the wag earner, so let's call me Capitallism. Your mother is the administrator of the money, so we'll call her Goverment. We take care of you and your needs, so we'll call you the People. We'll call the maid the Working Class and your baby brother the Future. Do you understand so far?"\n"I'm not really sure, Dad. I'll have to think about it."\nLate that night, the boy's sleep was disturbed by the crying of his baby brother. He got up and found that the baby had soiled its nappy. He went to his parents' room and found his mother fast asleep, and then discovered that his father was bonking the maid so vigorously that they didn't hear his knocks on the door. He returned to his bed and went to sleep.\nNext morning he reported to his father, "Dad, I now think I understand what politics is."\n"Good, my boy. Explain it to me in your own words."\n"Well, while Capitalism is screwing the Working Class and the Government is sound asleep, the People are being completely ignored and the future is full of s**t."
24427
there are many such as www.joke.com\njust type in joke in a serch engine and you'll have a bunch.
207978
Two guys sitting around drinking...\n\n"Dude, you should put this ring in your tongue!"\n"No way, Dude, that would hurt like hell!"\n"You do it dude."\n"I don't know. Dude."\n"Come On Dude, The Chics will dig it. Besides ur wasted."\n"K sounds cool Dude."\n"Stick out your tongue dude, so I can pound this nail in to make a hole."\n"OWWWWWWW" "Dude, you pounded a nail in my tounge, You Dick!"\n\n"It's cool Dude, Check out your ring."\n\n"Oh Wow dude, Once it stops bleeding, this will Rock."
695118
That's the best joke I've heard on this site in a LONG time!\n\nThanks for the laughs! Keep up the great work!!\n\n(Gotta remember this one for the folks at work!)
801470
Make a joke about it and laugh it off--
868030
hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha\n\nbest joke i have heard for a long time xx
600288
Quick Joke:\n \nNever choke in a restaurant in West Virginia...\n\nTwo hillbillies walk into a bar.\nWhile having a shot of whiskey, they talk about\ntheir moonshine operation.\nSuddenly, a woman at a nearby table, who is\neating a sandwich, begins to cough.\nAfter a minute or so, it becomes apparent that\nshe is in real distress\nOne of the hillbillies looks at her and says,\n"Kin ya swallar?"\nThe woman shakes her head no.\n"Kin ya breathe?"\nThe woman begins to turn blue and shakes her head\nno.\nThe hillbilly walks over to the woman, lifts up\nthe back of her dress, yanks down her drawers and\nquickly gives her right butt cheek a lick with\nhis tongue.\nThe woman is so shocked that she has a violent\nspasm and the obstruction flies out \nof her mouth.\nAs she begins to breathe again, the hillbilly\nwalks slowly back to the bar.\n\nHis partner says, Ya know, I'd heerd of that\nthere 'Hind Lick Maneuver'\nbut I ain't never seed nobody do it!"
180673
101? I ONLY HAVE MY BEST 3 JOKES...HOPE IT DOESN'T OFFEND U\n\n1\n\nFresh from her shower, a woman stands in front of the mirror complaining to her husband that her breasts are too small.\n\nInstead of characteristically telling her it's not so, the husband uncharacteristically comes up with a suggestion. "If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet paper and rub it between your breasts for a few seconds."\n\nWilling to try anything, the wife fetches a piece of toilet paper and stands in front of the mirror, rubbing it between her breasts.\n\n"How long will this take?" she asks.\n\n"They'll grow larger over a period of years," he replies.\n\nThe wife stops. "Why do you think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between my breasts everyday will make my breasts grow over the years?"\n\n"Worked for your butt, didn't it?"\n\nHe lived. And with a great deal of therapy, may even walk again..\n\n\n2\n\nMan driving down road.\nWoman driving up same road\nThey pass each other\nWoman yells out her window, "PIG!"\nMan yells out his window, "B.I.T.C.H!"\nMan rounds next curve\nCrashes into a huge pig in middle of road.\n\nThought For The Day : If only men would listen. \n\n\n3\n\nThe mother-in-law stopped unexpectedly by the recently married couple's \nhouse. She rang the doorbell and stepped into the house. She saw her \ndaughter-in-law standing naked by the door.\n\n"What are you doing?" she asked.\n\n"I'm waiting for my husband to come home from work," the \ndaughter-in-law \nanswered.\n\n"But you're naked!" the mother-in-law exclaimed.\n\n"This is my love dress," the daughter-in-law explained.\n\n"Love dress? But you're naked!"\n\n"My husband loves me to wear this dress! It makes him happy and it \nmakes me \nhappy. I would appreciate it if you would leave because he will be home \nfrom \nwork any minute."\n\nThe mother-in-law was tired of all this romantic talk and left. On the \nway \nhome she thought about the love dress. When she got home she undressed, \nshowered, put on her best perfume and waited by the front door. Finally \nher \nhusband came home. He walked in and saw her standing naked by the door.\n\n"What are you doing?" he asked.\n\n"This is my love dress" she replied.\n\n"Needs ironing." he said.\n\nHEHE>>HAVE FUN 2 YA GUYZ READING
355133
go to askmen.com and check the joke section
872083
Lol....leave it to Pd to come up with a great joke.  10/10...as always!!!!!
1034311
You realy want a dirty joke? okay heres one.
789845
ok...This is a really sick joke, and I don't like it.  People are probably going to get mad at me for it, but you asked for it so here it goes.\n\nJesus Christ walks into an Inn.  He hands the Innkeeper three nails and asks, "Can you put me up for the night?"\n\nI'm sorry, sorry, sorry, but I was just answering the question(or request).
796367
A great joke!\n\nIt made my night.\n\nI like the bible verse you quoted; Proverbs 17:22.\n\nI'll look again for future jokes.
716772
here's a good one that isn't too short. \n\nA blonde and a brunette are watching the news, where a man is going to jump off a building. The brunette says "I betcha 10 euro that he'll jump". The blonde says "I betcha 10 euro that he won't". So they accept. \nThen the man jumps. The blonde starts to give the brunette the money when the brunette says "I can't take your money, i saw this on the 5 'o' clock news already". The blonde says "Yeah, I saw it too, I just didn't think he'd jump again"!!
107201
my best "scorpio" answer is the punchline for a joke, "come nude, bring food." ask him if he wants something different tonight and be very open to the answer.