How do get rid of your pain from past situations?
455307
parents back then were that type of persons with their families, and they just were raised themselves that way and is not your mother's fault, but her, mother, and then her mother of her mother...and so on....nonetheless, you can make the change with your family and with you followed generations to come.....in your case, I can see that you have these hateful feelings about your mom, and brothers....Remember that things happens for one reason, you don't know why it happened the way it happened, but thank God, you are ok, even though you feel these feelings.....Try to forget if you can, try to do well to others and always, talk to others, the way you were treated like that others wont do what your mom did to you, and let this experience be of good use to others and forget all bad feelings and live a healthy life you and your family, God bless you and if you could Get a bible study..Good luck.
184113
Make a list of their bad habits or traits that irritated you so much...\nRemember all the bad things about them and be glad you have another chance at happiness in life...\nThis is a blessing in disguise...\nI have been there and done that...\nIt seems terrible at first, but later on, you look back and think, what was I worried about...\nAnd you find yourself in a better place than before...\nBest of luck...
1185608
I think you need to be honest with yourself and bring everything out in the open.There are reasons why you hurt so deeply,the only way to ever move past it is to go through it.The first thing you need to do is to know your worth,that yes things have happened in your life as they do us all some more than others.You have to take it as a learning experience it will only make you stronger in time,sometimes we can help others through our own trials,its not always easy you have to keep going though.Drinking and partying or any of these things you are doing its not healing your pain it wont its a bandaid.Get real ,loose the crutch,try to find positive people to surround yourself with,then you will see a positive outcome.If you really want things to change it will also help you to know that,God is always with you even when you are not with him,I hope that you can find the light to lead you out of such a dark place,I know its there I found it so can you,you just have to reach for it.May God keep watch after you.
595266
The only way to get rid of fear is to face it. Make up your mind to face them.BE BRAVE!!!!
877644
I highly recommend a book called Feelings Buried Alive Never Die.  There is a simple emotional release technique described in the book that, when done each day for 5-10 minutes, can help ease extreme emotional upsets and even some physical ailments associated with emotional problems.\n\nI've used this example before in another answer, but I'm going to use it again:\n\nI live in small, cramped quarters and often find myself bumping into things.  When I bumped into things in the past I would immediately become OVERWHELMINGLY ANGRY.  The anger troubled me greatly, much more than the momentary pain from bumping into things.  I used the emotional release technique in the book and I've not been angry from bumping into things again.  \n\nAlso, I used to suffer with chronic, ever present anxiety/guilt feelings.  I used the technique for that as well and I've felt peaceful and content with my life and circumstances and relationships overall since.  \n\nI believe I will have to continue to use the technique, but it's totally worth it!  Please look into it!
948353
Yes, my past comes and bites me in the ass all the time...some days I wish I could have a "do over"..so I could make better choices...I know youre not feeling sorry for yourself, it's just so frustrating sometimes...like you want to scream"I'm Sorry, I'm trying my best, I'm not the same person !" Hang in there and keep making good choices and doing the right thing now...
980715
It's the most unsatifying answer but the only answer that works. Time. It's the only healer for your wound. Of course there are many things you could do to help the time go by fast but unfortunatly it will take some time for you to get past the pain. You have to put into prospect 8 years is a long long time and to end it completly you should be devastated. If you would like more help you can email me at mkaltenthaler@yahoo.com. I just ended a 4 year relationship a couple of months ago. I was in your possition for a month\nGo out with friends, take on hobbies, do the things you've always wanted to do but haven't yet. \nKeep away from: anything that reminds you of him, depressing foods, sad movies/songs, don't be alone for the first month. \nYou will get past this and eventually start over and have a completly new life. It sounds impossible but I swear it will happen. Best of luck to you and hope all goes well with you.
619050
be true to yourself.  come clean and make amends if you can.  When that is not possible, write down the things you've done that bother you on little pieces of paper and say goodbye to them as you bury them in your garden, or toss them in your lit BBQ. then forgive yourself and forget about it.
660004
Yikes.....that has got to be a pretty disturbing thing to have to try and live with all the time.   I mean....it's a lot better to really "be there".....if you want to take part in things.   Like I have to tell you that, huh ??\n\n  And yeah, the child abuse that happened is almost certainly the reason that you developed this habit. \n\n  When you were a kid "removing yourself"  really **did** protect you from stuff that otherwise would have truely been too overwhelming to take in.  So at one time....it really was a truely protective and helping thing.\n\n  But now that you are older....it's kind of outlived its usefullness....as an everyday thing that happens.\n\n  At the same time....it may be things that....somehow resemble the abusive situations from the past are what set. it off now.   You know :  "Triggers".....as they are called ??\n\n  So yes....working through your abuse issues would probably be the *very first* thing that anyone familiar with abuse would recomend.  Not just for the depersonalization...but in the larger overall sense of things.\n\n   If you can find some resolution to....how you think and react to thoughts of things that still linger in your mind from back then.....and try and understand them from....you know....where you are now, now that you are older...that might give your ways of reacting....a different and more mature set of thoughts to work from ?\n\n   As you probably know.....working through abuse issues is no picnic.  It can be painful, and can take a long time.\n\n  But the outcome is that...you become more free from those old ways of reacting...and can move on.\n\n  And that's something that every abuse victim deserves.\n\n    Bob J.
9224
Express your grief and then move on.  Stop living in the past, you can not change that.  Become more aware of what is going on around you right now.
784368
I've been there...it is not easy but you must force yourself to let go. To continue to let the experience occupy your mind is harmful to your mental health...as well as your physical well being. \nTake advantage of your present situation...you have a wonderful panacea already in place. Instead of dwelling on the past, count your blessings instead. You are very fortunate. Whenever those negative thoughts enter your mind...immediately divert them to the wonderfulness of what you have now achieved. Many of us have encountered injustices on many levels in our lives...some so horrible and deep that recovery is almost impossible (for example a person serving time in prison for a crime they did not commit). \nYou have been fortunate to have risen above yours. You now have a choice...either to enjoy what you have to its fullest extent, or dwell in self pity and continue to let the past dominate your present existence.\nIf I seem harsh, it is not my intention. Once you start diverting those negative thoughts with good ones (like think of some of the most pleasurable moments with your darling baby boy)whenever they enter, it will become easier to put it behind you.
476823
well you cant really do anything to make it go away. the pain will go away soon and you'll just forget about it. this happened to me too and the pain just went away after a while.
239980
Best not to worry about the future.\nYou would be far better off dealing with NOW.  The past is just your memories.  The future is possible plans.  You are Here, Now.
551244
I THINK THAT THE BEST WAY TO GET OVER A BRACK UP IS TIME... YOU JUST NEED TIME TO HAVE A NEW START,IT MIGHT SEEM TO LONG BUT AT THE END LIFE GOES ON???????????
1179652
They say that time heals all wounds-NOT.\nIn my opinion, it can only lessen the hurt. You should try to get over it. Studies have shown that the person who is still suffering will develope more than emotional pain. Take care of yourself and don't give him any more power over you.\nPeace.
467410
Whatever you did happened in the past and you can do nothing to change it. I happened. If your deed involves hurting someone you love (that most likley the reason you feel bad about it) then it might be a good idea to talk with the person about it. If that person cares about you he or she might forgive you,especially since you didn't do it intentionally or without planning. \nIn any case it was something you did "without thinking" therefore you didn't plan, there was no "intent" more an "Impulse". Learn from the expereince, file it under life happens and go on.
508113
hey just to let you know the other day on one of your other questions you said you were 17, but in time the pain will pass as it always does, there is no certain way to cure it, you just continue on with your everyday life and get back into routine and eventually the pain lessens--sorry and best wishes