i just got out of a bad relationship but me and my ex want to work things out but i am scared wat should i do?
464444
first how bad was it??? don't know the details, but weigh the pros and cons of the relationship. if there are more cons get out and don't look back. more pro's proceed, but with caution.
959323
It depends, do you love the ex? If you are unsure then take things slow. Maybe you and the ex could date, hang out etc and get to know each other again. Explore all the reasons you left to begin with, have any of those reasons (issues) been resolved? If not, nothing has changed and you will leave again when the "new, fun" is over.\nMake sure you don't go back just for comfort.
865546
yeah my guy and i just had a fight..and I am so devasted..I love him soo much..but then again he is an as*hole...if you feel like you need time..then take time..but if you feel like you can move on with someone else then go out with friends and make new friends..usually after a break up..I like to take time for myself and get back to me...good luck\nps..if you still love him then call him and try to work things out
903443
I think it is too soon for you both to be in contact with eachother as you say it's too painful right now.  The best thing to do for the moment, until you get your own head sorted is cut all ties.  I know it might be hard but you need to straighten your own head and heart out first and be strong enough before you can be friends with him.  You are not in the right frame of mind now, it is too soon since you broke up, and staying in contact might only cause more pain.  I broke up with my ex in June and we haven't been in touch since.  I know at the start it was very hard as I went from hearing from him everyday to nothing but, now I'm a lot stronger.  I'm happier now that it's over as we weren't right for eachother but if I stayed in contact with him I know I'd probably be still hurting and in the same situation right now.  Time is a great healer and WILL make you stronger.  Just give yourself some "you" time.  Hope it works out for you!
376915
find out why you two broke up and then go out and fix that problem. chances are that'll fix it and you'll have a better chance.
52963
Why is he an ex?  If it's a good reason, try to get over those residual feelings...know it's for the best that you aren't together.  I say, if you still have feelings, swallow your pride and let him know but also be prepared, just in case he says he doesn't feel the same.
655240
Your relieved that there is finally closure on a bad situation. but, also scared about getting too close to someone too fast because your afraid of getting yourself into the same situation again. Just try and trust and believe in people until otherwise proven that didnt deserve that trust. remember that person is not your ex and you just need to take it slow and try to relax. Best wishes and best of luck in your search for happiness.
364602
It is normal to want to get back w/ your ex. However, you should only get back w/ him only if you want to.  Don't let him pressure you into it. There are a lot things you have to take into consideration...i.e. like why did you all separate, can u trust him, and is the relationship worth trying again? Whatever you do, don't rush to make decisions, take things slowly, and remember ur happiness is most important. Good Luck.
1155280
Hon, from what I am reading you really aren't ready for another relationship right now if you are still hanging on to the memories of your previous relationship with the hope that things will happen for you both someday. Honestly, the chances are that they will are pretty slim to none, especially if you both are not on speaking terms.\n\nYou need to take some time to yourself and sort out your feelings for this guy. You need to make an honest assessment of what was good in the relationship, as well as what was bad, so that you have a better idea of what kind of relationship you want in the future. You need to determine what you will and will not accept in a relationship in the future, as well as assess what you both did wrong in the relationship that caused it to fail. This is especially important because one person is never solely responsible for a relationship's failure; both people are and to move on successfully you have to take responsibility for your own actions. Additionally, you will eventually need to forgive your ex for his contributions to the failure of the relationship, as well as forgive yourself. If you don't, you will carry that baggage into the next love affair you have and nothing will ever get resolved.\n\nIf you rush into another relationship now, while you are still reeling from the other one, you are getting involved for all of the wrong reasons: you don't want to be alone, you are afraid of being alone, etc etc etc. It will be a classic rebound situation. You won't be getting involved because you really like the new guy. You are getting involved because you can't handle being alone or you want to replicate what you had (when it was good) with your ex. Relationships like this are DOOMED.\n\nTake some time for yourself. Relax. Read, or hang out with your friends. Write your feelings in a journal; get to know who you are, sort your feelings out, and then, when you are ready, forgive your ex and yourself. When you feel positive about things again (including yourself) then and only then are you ready for another relationship.\n\nHow do I know this? Life experience. I am 50 now and I had to learn the hard way. When I was your age I was involved with a guy who I THOUGHT was the love of my life. It didn't work out, so in my panic, I rushed into a relationship with a guy who paid lots and lots of attention to me. I thought HE was the love of my life, too. What did I do? 2 years later we got married. OY! What a mistake that was. We were married for 10 years, and after 10 years of his craziness I finally was brave enough to get out of the marriage and get a divorce. He was NUTS - verbally abusive at first, and then he became physically abusive. When we dated I saw these things in him, but ignored them. I ignored my intuition - my gut told me he was nuts and that he was troubled, but because I was scared of being alone, I married him anyway. Why? Because he was romantic. Ahhh, nothing like lessons learned.\n\nI stepped back, assessed my wants and needs, forgave him and myself for our mistakes, and decided what I wanted. 4 years after my divorce and a few lousy relationships later, I met my second husband and married him 6 months later. That was 6 years ago and we are happy. In the end it worked out for me, but the stress of a miserable marriage because of my fears of aloneness made me sick. So don't do it. \n\nTake time for you, and sorry this is so long.
73669
I'm so sorry that u had a bad breakup. I'm physic so i no. Well they break up because they have minor differences and disagreements and have no intention of compromise. But what u can do is try to get over him. If he is not coming back, then let him go. They say wen u love someone, there comes a time wen u must let them go, so try to get over him. Start seeing new people and pretty soon, it'll be a thing in the past.
347103
Get professional help. I don't know how old you are but if your in school a school conselor should be able to help. Please do not think that I think you are crazy b/c I don't, and you don't have to be crazy to see one. To see one means you know you have some unresolved issues to deal with, and trust me from what I'm understanding the issue with your ex is very unresolved. They will show you how to move on. Good luck sweetie.
388288
Whatever the reason for your ex being your ex. Put yourself in their shoes and think about the situation and what you would do. Be true about the considerations...it only help u know wether it's worth trying to get back together.
254201
I think you should say that your relationship is not where you expected to go and give reasons why you don't want to be with him.  If he happens to let you go and break up, doesn't that leave you a way for you to get back together with your ex without seeming like that was the reason why you wanted to breakup?  Obviously there must be a reason why you'd much rather be with your ex than your current bf, just make sure you're not going to be getting yourself into a big mess and come out with no bf or friends at all.
275198
actually i did not do anything just to get even with my ex, no need. because if you really wanted to move on you dont have to get even just to show him that you're now a better person without him, well that is not the basis for that. just do whatever you want to do, without being affected or it is because you're just doing all those things its because you wanted to get even,it only means that you're not yet over with that guy.so the best thing to do is once you already have a new relationship is you have to show all the love and respect to that particular person.so dont use your ex just to get even, just move on with your life.. and be thankful instead that he became part of your life =)
310710
This is my advice to you. I was in the same position that you were in. I dated for a guy for 3 years and he broke up with me b/c he was afraid of commitment or whatever. But my advice to you is this 1) show him that you are the stronger one by not being needy,calling him all the time or really bring up the relationship 2) TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF by taking care of yourself it prove to him that you are okay and will help him realize what he is missing 3)surround yourself with family and friends a good support system is the key to the whole situation.
1016318
You have to go into this with an open mind. I had a similar situation arise and am still trying to correct it. I was in a relationship that lasted almost 6 years. I was verbally, physically and emotionally abused by my ex. I met a wonderful man who helped me get out of my situation and get my mind off my ex. But I still doted because I had grown a strong attatchment to him (my ex) even though I didn't love him anymore. By the time I realized I was in love with this new man, things were too late...I'm still praying for him to come back my way.  What I'm trying to get at is that you need to give yourself time to get over your abusive ex, because you won't be happy in your new relationship. Loving somebody else is a big sign that you're getting closer to that. Remember your ex is your ex for a reason and HE did all that bad stuff to you. Not your new guy. You will also realize quicker in a new relationship if he has abusive tendencies so you can move on.  I suggest calling him and trying to set something up such as    coffee, keep it casual and let him know face to face how you feel. I know your scared but you have to do it or you'll never know what could have been!
193021
Sounds like you are both in a better place to have an adult relationship now. When people ask about getting back together with an old flame I always ask them to try and think about what is going to be differant this time so you don't end up breaking things off again.\n\nYou are your ex need to have a serious discussion about what went wrong last time and how you can BOTH make sure that those types of things don't happen again.\n\nBest of luck