i have 3 kids and when me and my husband argue every now and then he hits me who can i talk to in private?
472843
You may need to call the police if he is threatening enough. And from what it sounds, it's getting worse and there needs to be something done, but I don't fully know the situation and don't want to be judgmental of which I don't know the whole story. However, I have seen the same stuff happen with great guys. If you don't want to go to the police, talk to someone who is very close to you, i.e. your mom, sister, brother, best friend, dad. You don't want someone who will overreact and actually try to handle it themselves though. He probably will have to get counseling and you will need it too. Although you don't have the problem, his problem affects you. And if your children have witnessed any abuse, whether it be verbal or physical, they may need counseling. Tell the person(s) you choose the whole story and let them give you advice on what you should do. And WHATEVER you do, Don't let pride get in the way of you talking to someone about it. Alot of times that is people's problem, they don't want everyone knowing they made a mistake. Everyone makes mistakes, and you just have to try to fix them or move on. Or you may need to divorce him, but I hope not b/c divorces are rough on the whole family. They know you and your husband alot better than I do, therefore will be able to tell you better what you need to do. I hope this helps and I hope you and your husband get this settled.
416246
I would like to pursue this spanking between spouses could we expand that to be between to consenting adults. If you hi a kid you teach a kid to hit.
436816
Stop jumping half-cocked.  Did you push your husband to have an arguement with her . . . because it sounds like something a woman would do . . . fight with an ex- when they had a semi-descent relationship especially with the kids.\n\nBy having you husband confronting her . . . (on your behest) . . . she turned it that you two don't love his kids, whom she has major custody of.  I know it is untrue . . . but that it what it does look like by doing that . . . both to his kids and to the neighborhood.\n\nYou gave yourselves the black eye . . . \n\nWhat to do . . . live and let live . . . do not get overly involved with her . . . but since his kids are closer . . . maybe it is time for him to take a more active role with his children lives . . . . use the opportunity to repair the damage you both just did.\n\nShe could have thought . . . If I move closer to the children's father . . . maybe he will be more willing to see them . . . apparently not . . . with your reactions.  \n\nSelfish.
361737
honey i have a little brother who is 6 and he is always hitting me well you should ignore it and it will because it will be old to him. getting a reaction out of u is what he craves!!  Or if it is getting worse aet an adult like ur mom or pop or who ever you live with so they can give hi dissplanary action riight away!
212443
Only you can know that for sure. id say get counseling, especially because of the arguing.
897928
DAY at a TIME. If you still love him then try reverse psychology. Be nice to him, agree with what he says, and he will not know what to do or say. Be mature and tell him, ....OH, I am so tired of us not getting along...it is so old. Interfere in your life? He is still part of your life because of the kids, and he will always be a part. Try it, what could it hurt? I went through the same things, my kids would say....she wants us to call her mom... Then I said ...how lucky...you have two moms. ... And honey, if something were to happen to me, then she would take care of you. IT works !!  I used psychology to get control of any situation..  Oh  and if you want to get him back , just tell him.. I had a dream of us, when we first met, do you remember or say positive things, like...the kids did something today and it reminded me of you, they sure are just like their father. If you are still married, there is still hope if that is what you really want. Good Luck !
36984
well dont hit him back. instead try to reason with him and dont let him hit. you hope it helps..>
259345
Keep calling the police and department of child and family services.  If you have any contact at all with your children you need to impress upon them that if daddy is abusing them then they should speak up and not to be afraid of what he might do if they do.\n\nContact safeharbor or a victim's assistance program for other tips.  If he is abusing the children and dcfs and the police refuse to do anything about it their butts are going to get grilled if anything does happen.  Talk to a supervisor at dcfs or a sgt or lt at the police station.\n\nKeep written logs of anything you see or anything your children tell you with exact dates and times.  Follow your husband.  If he ever drinks to excess and drives with the children in the car he is guilty of child endangerment.\n\nAll you can do is remain vigilant.  Of course you're a parent and with that goes certain emotions and such, and while I do not condone the behavior, if you feel your husband is really giving these kids some harm and the authorities blatantly refuse to do anything you may think about taking them.  But again that is extreme and illegal, and when/if the authorities find you you'll never get to see your kids again.
426255
If my hubby tried to do that to our son, he would wish like hell he didn't. He'd be finding out real fast I don't play that and he's lost his damn mind if he thinks I'm going to keep quiet about it and step back. I'd fight him first and I fight to win especially when it comes to my kids.
892475
go to counseling with or with out him all men are not like this he sounds very selfish and I know you are angry and want to strike out but believe me the verbal assault doesn't help at all. when it's to that point it is time to move on if counseling doesn't work. this is a terrible atmosphere to bring up your kids in and will affect them for life
1141803
Tell them when they are done fighting and being kids then you will talk to them. Till then walk away. You don't need to get in the middle of THEIR fight.
696018
I think your concerns are legitimate, and I think it's a good idea to consider carefully whether you want to let this abusive man back into your lives.  (I assume he abused you and the kids based on what you said.)  I think that people can change, but you should look for evidence that he is really serious about changing.  Enrolling himself in anger management classes or psychological counseling might be a good start.  Also, I think you have a right to be concerned about the timing of this "change of heart" and it sounds like you feel like he's using you, which sounds to me like a form of abuse.  I'd say, if you need help, get help from a battered women's shelter, an ecclesiastical leader, a counselor, or somebody else who can help you make a wise decision.  Remember to keep your kids in mind when you are making this decision -- think about what will be best for them.  God bless you.
885769
You have to remember that you guys already have 2 kids together. I think you should try to work the marriage out, you've probably tried talking to him, but if that doesn't work out then you two should seek counselingl.
765600
GET OUT NOW!!!!!!!!! that is an abusive relationship and what you are doing by pushing him is self-defense.i would get pissed to if someone would smash me across the room.please move out because he is abusive and might kill you one day by throwing you.What happens when you guys have kids one day and he does that to your kids?think about that.good luck!!!
980024
My husband has done that to me and it is not pleasant. If you do that be prepared to get smacked.
908677
first of all your child is not spoiled...i have 3 of my own...its called teething...obviously ur mother in law forgot how it was.... fyi have u tried rubbing whisky on babies mouth..it numbs it...ok back to m-i-l...let ur husband deal with her...he sticks up for u and the kids right?  anyways u can tell her it's her opinion on what she thinks about her grandchildren, BUT not her buisness...they r ur kidsnot hers....if opinion outburst keep happening tell her if she continues to make comments that r not needed or any of her buisness, then she cannot come around the kids if drama is what she wants to cause...only telling u from personnal experience...my  m-i-l doesnt come around or has seen our kids in about 4 yrs....ssoooooooo....good luck...stay strong ok
392810
pick and choose your battles. life is too short to bicker over ridiculous sh*t. when he is being an a** kill him with kindness or act like you can't be bothered with his silly commentary. problem is you all are around each other 24/7 and you'll drive each other nuts no matter how compatible. if you can be be apart for several hours out of the day or go stay at your mom's over nite it'll make you all miss each other and realize the good things about each other. but seriously you need to get some wheels and get your independence back! that'll make a huge difference!good luck!