Should I divorce my husband?  My step daughter hates me and tells my husband that I treat her badly...?
468693
I'd say that the best thing to do is sit down all together and try to hash this thing out.  I went through a period of really not liking my stepdad when my mom got remarried, so its a normal reaction, particularly if she was close to her mom.  But the answer is no, do not divorce your husband immediately.  The best thing to do is to try and and figure out what you can do in order to make life at least tolerable for all three of you.  I realize that yes, step-children can be a pain, i know, i was one of them, but really, its possible to work it out.  You just need to sit down between the two of them and figure it out.  And if your step-daughter refuses to engage, just acknowledge how she feels, but tell her that you're not planning on going anywhere, so it would be best for both of you to make this work.
912438
I  think  you  already know what you  have to do.     In  the  first place  how  do you know -besides  what she has told you -  that  her husband was abusive?      One  way or other, it is  absolutely clear to anybody with half a brain  the woman is using you ...   and  using  her  own  children as a   weapon  against you  if you  try to  stand up for yourself.    Well,   the ONLY  thing  possible  for you to do..  unless you want  to   stand there meekly  and let her destroy what should be the peace and  tranquility  of your and your husband's  lives -  is  take a  stand  and Tell  this selfish, self-centered, self-serving piece of  garbage  whom you so unfortunately  have as a daughter,  that  you have already done all -  and in fact  more -  than you have  the means to do..   She is;pulling one of the oldest  games in the book  with those who feel obliged to fall over backwards for her  because of blood relationship   .....emotional blackmail.... and you have  allowed yourselves to  fall for it hook, line, and sinker.    Enough  already.    You  can't   "save the world"  and   those are  HER children,  so you  cannot  be held  responsible for  them  either.      You  have  already allowed this outrageous situation  to go on  waaaaay  too long,  and the  very behaviour that you have  described,  defines her   exactly for what  she  really is....  a  mean,  selfish, ungrateful,  freeloading opportunist  who needs  to be made to  hit the road  before  she  succeeds in  ruining   your  and your husband's  lives,  and  your health.
634457
Does she have a daughter? If yes, ask her how she would feel if her daughter was being treated the same way like she's treating you right now. If she doesn't have any daughter, ask her how she would feel if her husband's mother hated her and treated her the same way like she's treating you right now. You're the one who is married to her son; you're the one who makes her son happy. She'd better deal with it if she does love her son. Tell her how badly she treats you will only hurt her son and not you because you will forgive her hatred since you love your husband too much to put him in an awkward situation. Good luck.
611092
Tell the wife everything. Be prepared for her to hate you. Let her know about the kid, how you found out about her and when, and how long you've been with him. If she wants to, then the two of you should confront him together and see what he says. I don't know how you didn't know this when you've been with him for three years, but that's not the point. It doesn't matter if he knows it's you. He SHOULD know it was you who told. he had no right to play you the way he did. You never signed up to be the other woman or a homewrecker.
908199
I have three step-children and my husband and I have been married for 34 years.  I understand your feelings, it isn't always "easy", but it is possible.  \n\nIt doesn't "take anything from you" if your husband is close to his daughter.  Their relationship is very different from the one he shares with you.  His ability to be a good father shows what kind of person he is, it's probably one of the things that you love about him.  You have children also so you should understand the bond between a parent and child.  \n\nI don't necessarily think you feel that way just because this is your "step-daughter".  Sometimes my husband feels a little "jealous" when I spend more time with the kids, and they are "his".\n\nI think it's more likely that your jealousy is because there is another "female" in his life (even if it is his daughter).  Father's and daughters often share a special "bond", I think that's what is bothering you.  You need to find a way to accept their relationship or you are going to be a very unhappy person.\n\nYou are probably feeling a little insecure, talk to your husband.  It doesn't have to be a problem, but it might turn into one if you don't deal with it now.  I think your feelings are normal, maybe you just need a little reassurance from your husband.  I'm sure he has plenty of love to go around!\n\nBest of luck.
257483
The only thing I can tell you is to stay away from this chick. she still has feelings for your husband and is using any means she can to try to cause trouble. she is the immature one carrying on like that. I understand if you're trying to respect her because she has your husband's kid. you don't have to deal with her just ignore her and don't let anything she say or do get you upset it's expected behavior of a jealous childish person.
855756
Wow...I'm so sorry that your father is acting this way towards you. Since your an adult now, you have a choice to make. Cursing him out, no matter how satisfying that may be, really isn't going to help out your situation. If anything, all it will do, in his little brain,is prove him right. Hopefully your not living with him still. Because you need to on your own if at all possible, to put some distance between the both of you. It's so unfortunate that as someones child, YOU have to act as the 'mature-responsible-adult'. You have to be the one to set the example that his behavior is unacceptable, and your not going to stoop to his very lowly level and reflect what he is doing to you. He sounds like a very bitter man, and again I feel for you and your situation. If your able to find a good counselor to talk to, that may be of great benefit to you to help you work through this crap that he's dumped on you so that you do not feel as though it's your fault or that you deserve to be treated this way. The way a father treats his daughter, will greatly and directly effect the men she chooses to have in her life. I hope you know that you deserve better treatment from men, and that even through all this you still have a choice to make. Man, if I could just have 5 minutes with jerks like that....
201893
something might be going on between the two of them - but lets hope not. he may just be trying to get in good with her so that she will approve of him - since she's ur daughter - yet ur daughter is disrespectful of u and he plays along with that. yet i think family comes first so i think u need to put this relashonship/friendship with ur "make friend" on hold. and u need to work thru things with ur daughter. was she acting like this before he came along? or did she start first acting like this when he came into the picture? she may really need u but she see's u puting some guy before her. i have 2 kids and i learned that no one will love my kids as much as i do. my kids felt neglected cuz my male friend was getting all my time and all my love. i seen the sadness if their eyes and i knew i had to let him go for the sake of my kids. but my kids r young. ur daughter is at a grown age. she may just dislike this one guy in particular. she may want u to find someone better. getting him to copy her by disrespecting u may be her way of getting u to finally kick him to the curb. but if ur daughter has always been disrespectful - even b 4 this guy came along - then u may just have to look over her.
861753
after all you and your family has done for him and he does this sounds like there is no respect for himself or for his family. He is a adult and he knew the consquences before he took his actions and now he must deal with them. There is no such thing as accidently sleeping or being with someone else while you are married. With him abusing you and then cheating on you and you already having one child and one on the way all you can do is make a grown decision and ask yourself do you want to raise your children to see this? I was in a relationship many years ago just like that and really loved my ex husband however 5 years of the physical abuse and the drinking and cheating was enough I finally got out. It does hurt but you have to be strong if he did it once and you take him back ask yourself will you ever be able to let it go and forget it? Will the relationship be the same? will he do it again? will you have to live your life constantly asking yourself is he out there cheating again? Do you want to deal with that? I know it hurts but why put yourself through it again? You may never get over him I know i have been married to my husband now for 13 years and still once in a while think of my ex husband but am very happy with who i got and where i am in life. So only you can make your decisions and have to live with them and only we online can give opinions so from experience my opinion would be you have been seperated for a while and i would suggest stay away and get a divorce I would not want to raise children thinking it was ok to cheat on someone you love or raise your daughter to be tolerant of someone treating her like that so plain and simple ask yourself this if it was your daughter and she was going through this kind of suituation what would you want her to do?? Good Luck and God Bless
788537
The time to discuss these issues is when your dad comes to pick you up or drop you off to your mom's ... just as you will change boyfriends when you start to date til you find one you really like, he has divorced your mother because of differences between them and found someone he likes better.  its not about you and you should not approach this as a competition between you and your stepmother.  Usually the reason step parents don't get along with their kids is because they are both competing for the attention of the husband/father.  She has a responsibility as a parent to help you grow up safely and she also needs to be treated as a "mom" by you two kids.  That means you should not exclude her and only talk to your father, This is an extended family. You can choose to be part of it or you can choose to fight against it for the attention of your father.  This is not fair to anyone, not you, not her and not your dad.  You might even sit down with her and ask her what her expectations are of you two kids so you know where her thinking is  in this relationship
67945
My daughter is 4 hours away, we have joint custody and I also have been treated like you by the court and my ex.\n\nIt makes us angry and the system is the system.\n\nWhat have I learned? Keep the high ground for the sake of your daughter. Be a great loving dad that is supportive and be a great role model.\n\nI have seen a big difference in my relationship with my daughter.\n\nShe only has one dad and a new step mom. keep up the good work my friend.
510097
Stay away- Trying to make contact will only make the situation worse.  Don't give her ammo.  It is hard but you have to play it by the law, for now anyways.  Fight for joint custody and go from there.  Let your wife go, for your childrens sake.  The children need to see a healthy happy father.  You know you tried and did what you could and that is what is important.
195761
Suga, I know you are upset, but bringing your daughter into this is not very nice.  If you two split up or have a huge blow out, then she is going to think that she is the reason why Daddy and Mommy are upset.  Just calm down and sit down with your hubby, telling him calmly how you feel.  Maybe you can get something worked out.  Good Luck, and you're in my prayers
611195
let him flip out all he wants you go on living your life and loving your baby but please be careful you never know when he may be dangerous. Ive seen this behavior in both men and women its hard to explain or understand but heres my opinion about it anyway. I believe some people dont want the person they were with but want that persons attention anyway and when that person starts seeing other people they dont like it thus making them mad. its jealousy plain and simple regardless if they are with someone else or not so I wish you luck in getting rid of him and his step mom
477590
She is just feeling protective over her mother role.  She is their momma and she doesn't want you to try and fill her shoes or play mommy.  It is very delicate.  No matter what she did in her marriage doesn't matter.  Please be respectful not to push her about being around HER kids.  Respect the fact that she doesn't want you around them right now.  They shouldn't see you two together unless it is very serious.  I didn't introduce my daughter to her now step-dad until I was sure we were going to stay together.  They don't need to see different women in daddy's life.  You don't know how long you two will last just yet.  Give it time!!!!Don't tell her to back off or anything like that, you have no right to.  If you care at all about your b/f respect her wishes!!!  She'll come around if you do.  Don't make it worse, it is a delicate situation!!!  Why would you move in?  This isn't something that should be taken lightly.  Are you even engaged to him?  Like I said, the kids shouldn't see women in daddy's life unless it is serious enough as marriage is!  Sounds like you know you'll disrespect her wishes anyway!  Why ask then, if you are moving in?
646589
I am always amazed at the number of women who put up with this type of behavior. You deserve much better than this type of treatment.\nYou are basically taking care of your self now, with the minor exception that you are supporting another child (your husband)!!!\nBut I have to be blunt and ask you this question. Wasn't he this way before you married him? People don't change, and you can't change him if he doesn't want to change. A zebra never changes his stripes. \nListen you would be wise to dump him and move on. The next relationship you get into make sure he is a hard worker and is able to support you and your daughter. You both deserve it! \nNever allow someone to put you down and then ask you for money. If you aren't good enough before hand then you aren't good enough to support his lousy butt either! \nI'd kick him so hard to the curb, and never look back. \nI would have had reservations before I married him!!!\nGood luck to you! I wish you the best!
991171
Wow. That sounds a lot like my mother. She married my stepdad without telling me and they werent together that long either. My stepdad can be a real jerk and he seems to be real strict and uptight.\nHave you tried talking to your mother about how you feel and the things that have happened? You could tell your mother "Mom, I love you and I need to talk to you about how Im feeling towards (his name here)" Let her know what you've observed and how you feel. I know that it hurts a lot because here is a divorce and you had to adjust to that and everything else in your life and then your mom does this major thing like getting married without any preparation on your part and its hurtful because its a big change in your life and you are blind sided. If you need someone to talk to you can email me Ive been through this and Im still healing from it and it was almost 5 years ago. Hang in there!\nsweetieliz@gmail.com