How does one get along with a mother in law that refuses?
455235
What you wrote sounds like my story. I've got the same problem with my mother in law. My husband really appreciates that I act like I'm stupid. \nI refuse to drop down to her level and when she is really mean to me I just smile and nod. Sometimes I think she tries her hardest to piss me off, but I won't give her that joy.\nFor your husband it's probably best to ignore the situation and play along like you all get along. It's not worth splitting up families over. You may regret it if your husband decides to choose for you and stops speaking to his mom.\nBe happy she doesn't live IN your house. \n\nStay the respectable party and don't let your feelings show! I know this is tough but it's the most peaceful way. Good luck, don't let her drive you mad, you've got the upper hand!
454139
Start by gently letting her know that she must treat your wife with respect.  Example:  Mom makes a comment about your wife's cooking; you should respond by letting her know that you like your wife's cooking and/or that she worked hard to prepare a meal.  But don't criticize your mom while you do it.  Let her know that you appreciate her as well.  Also, you must NEVER complain to your mother about your wife.  This sets the stage for your mother to complain about her and sets up distrust between your wife and your mother.
1025891
How sad for you. You need to ask yourself if you and your unborn children are better off without her. If she doesn't show you any love or compassion, then she certainly won't show your children any, which will only hurt you more in the long run. Have you tried calling her and asking her why she would miss the opportunity to be in her grandchildrens lives? If she still refuses to talk to you, chalk it up to God's work and move on without her. What does your Dad have to say about all this? Maybe he could be your "rock" when it comes to dealing with Mom.\nGood Luck and remember you still have your Mother in Law to lean on and show you some support......I know because your story is the same as my daughter in laws and I love her as if she was my own.
491495
You can't.\n\nMy mother in-law was a leach to our marriage for 2 years after she left my father in-law and then it got worse when my wife was pregnant and we had our first son. I hold my mother in-law 50% responsible for destroying my marriage with her interference.
1000847
Talk to your husband and express concern about her "split" personality. I bet she has done the same stuff to him while he was growing up.  Maybe he can give you suggestions.  Or, the next time she is over, confront her in front of father-in-law and husband.  Give specific examples of how she treats you when no one is around and tell her how that makes you feel.  Tell her that her behavior is making it difficult for you to enjoy her presence.  Either she needs to shape up or you will just have to limit her visits.  The other option is to never be alone with her.  But, remember the old saying, "you can't teach an old dog new tricks"?  I don't think you'll be able to change or without other family members helping.
604653
Definitely keep open communication between you always. Talk about things. \nBut I suggest that you have a talk with your mother-in-law-to-be. Ask her for some suggestions. She not only has experience being married, but she knows your future husband.
244209
You need to sit your husband down and explain to him exactly how you feel.  Then you need to avoid your in-laws to salvage your mental health.  Allow your husband to visit them whenever he wants, but you stay home or go to a movie.  Seriously, my mother-in-law hated me and she broke up my marriage in the end.  It sounds like you need a vacation....
116053
mostly in-laws are hard to get along with each other.  some reasons are both sides are so insecure with each other.  u are in the center.  dont take her side or your family side be in the middle.  did u ever talk to your mom if she knows any reason why your wife is treating them like that?  u can talk to your wife and tell her that your family is not comfortable that the way she treats them.  but dont be sound like you are taking your family side.  she might freak out and start an argument.  its really hard if your family get invloved with your marriage.  sometimes u feel like u need to choose between them.  but i'm pretty sure u both love your family and your wife.  u dont want to hurt any of them.  u have to talk to them.  u dont have to leave your wife u just need to talk to her about that problem.
881813
Sometimes, blood is NOT thicker than water. Your are his wife, and now become #1, in his life, along with children, if you have any.\nGoodness, what going on, it's a wonder that you both have not just said\n"enough is enough", and shut them out of you lives. Your husband is in agreement with you.\nWhy not discuss it with you husband, and tell him how you feel.\nYou do have to be rude to his mother, and stup to her level!\nSure, they keep ringing......They want you both to help them now.....\nWhat were they thinking before...that you both would just forget, and forgive?\nAsk you husband, if you can politely say.....Thank you for the birthday wishes,\nhowever, we have a life of our own now. I am sorry, but our hands are tied,\nand we cannot help you in any way....something like that.....\nLet your husband speak to them also.  No way, you both have made a life, without them,and put up with all the abusive language from them....\nTell them to move into the property that was put in the daughters name.\nDo not feel guilty!!!!  and do not change your lives, not with that kind of in-laws.\nGo girl, and your husband.....do not put up with it....you both only live once, and its Your Life and Your husbands!!!!
1058787
unfortunately, my husband's mother is the same breed. I just avoid the woman at all costs. fortunately, my husband agrees, but I don't know if yours will. \n\nI doubt confronting her would help, if she is as childish as my mother in law, but you could try talking to her, tell her your daughter feels left out and it hurts her feelings. goodluck whatever you decide
929752
there isnt a thing you can do ... i am sorry.... i have a iffy relationship with my mother too... (and i also work with her)....\ni have tryed since i was young to get away from her but somehow it never works out ... although my brothers seemed to have managed it!...lol oh well... just as i get older i try to ignore her "ways"....sometimes its hard ... but at least i do live away from her with my children and husband... but its hard and i think it probably always will be.....just breathe..... and work hard to get your own place!...lol... where you can interact on your terms!... good luck!!!!
529261
there is no easy way out of that - your mother-in-law no matter what you say and do will not give up supporting your brother - in - law - what I think you should do is go straight to him and try to get him to change his ways...
1090425
You and your husband will have to make a real effort on this one, and be the bigger people so to speak.  I don't think it's normal for a mother to act like that towards her son and his fiancee, now his wife.  Something is definitely wrong with her mentally.  Just remember that you can choose your friends, but not your family.  I think you and your hubby will have to speak with his mother about the wedding thing, just to get past it and clear the air.  She needs to know how it made you feel to be let down on your Big Day.  You can choose to forgive her or forget it, but you have to be able to move past what's happened in the past.  I don't really have any big words of wisdom other than to take the high road and don't play into her games.  Sometimes you gotta call a Spade a Spade!  No matter how bad she treats you, turn your cheek and be extremely nice back to her.... it gets them every time!
902504
Hi been there and it is horrid dont argue with your hubby about her as she obviously wants to destroy the marriage and using a child is low Play her at her own game and stop trying to be super woman her hubby doesnt want to lose his son and she knows it why not go and have some you time when he sees his son for an hour she will panic my hubbys ex made my life hell for years but she didnt win and you are a winner as you have him and she dont smile sweetly with perfect makeup and be civilised it works
533701
I have been with my husband for 6 years all of which we have got along. She does not raise her voice in anger(maybe to grandkids). But I have never seen her argue with my husband.She is probably what everyone would want in a mother in law, she minds her own business and if her son is in the wrong she takes my side and tells him what he is doing wrong. SHe is not judgemental on how clean my house is or how is raise my kids. THe only advice I get is to do with the kids health when they are sick. \n\nMy mom takes my husbands side, so therefore it's like my mom  in law is more of a mom than my own.
601800
Sounds to me like you have a mamas-boy problem. Is it her drawing him to her home or him that is unable to break the ties?  \n\nIf he is a Christian you may want to consult your clergy. In the Bible it is written that when a man marries he leaves his mother and father and "cleaves unto his wife" then he becomes head of his own house hold." (The man of the house.)  \n\nA friend of mine once had a mother-in-law problem. The mother-in-law would not leave them alone. She would butt into their business. Drop in unannounced. They never had a moment’s peace or time alone together. The in-law was a believer in Voo-Do. So my friend decided to set up a bunch of candles throughout her home and made some makeshift doll out of rags and cornhusks. She really had no idea of what she was doing. She made it look as much like her mother-in-law as she could and left it by some lit candles on the table.  The next time her mother-in-law came in it spooked the heck out of her. She ran out of her house declaring not to step foot in her home again.  Now that was one smart lady.  Of course my friend didn’t believe in any of that stuff. But in that instance it sure worked.
602405
I can't stand my inlaws!! They are so fake! They act like they like me but, behide my back they talk about me. I have acually heard her talk about me! I can't believe they can be that way! I had tried so hard in the begining to get along with them but I stopped that a long time ago! I guess first impressions mean alot because that was when she brushed me off when I said hello. If my husban is not home and she calls I don't pick up the phone and she knows I'm home. I know that get's her upset. But I love it!! So my suggestion is focus on your fam and avoid her! But ofcoures say hello once in a blue moon. I know you not getting along with her came create unwanted problems in your relationship! Best of luck:)