How important is quality time and undivided attention to you from your spouse?
460759
It's important, and it seems a challenge in these busy times, to have those times.  You just really have to make it a priority, even if those times are shorter than, oh, when you first met your spouse.\n\nAs far as your 2nd question, about how to "improve" it -- the only way to improve it, is to approach your relationship from a giving perspective.   Because you'll never truly receive attention the way you expect to.\n\nIn being there for your spouse, I think your spouse will then want to reciprocate and give to you in return.  Not saying it will happen, nor to give with the expectation of receiving.   But you never come out on the short end when you are sincerely trying to be there for the other person.\n\nAnd, on that note, I'm going downstairs to help her out.
182884
I think that everyone gets tempted. You're married, not dead. But it all comes down to if it's worth it or not. If you value your relationship, and respect your spouse, then I am assuming it would not be worth it to jeopardize all of that.
289309
There is really no way to just cope if you love the person and don't feel like they are giving you the attention, love and affection you need. I have found that things are alot easier when I stay busy and try to keep my mind off certain things that remind me of the negative things. I try many things to keep myself busy from going to eat or have a beer after work to playing online games or just doing some school work. If you have children together it makes things harder because you want to kinda put on a show and spend time with the kids togeather. If you don't have kids I would suggest finding some friends separate from your spouse. Spend some time with them or just plain talking to someone about it helps so much.
1095852
The most important quality is communication.  If you can't talk openly with your man than nothing else matters. With communication comes honesty and trust.
1000345
For me it's always been about pure, unadulterated, lust! Well. that's not entirely true, I think it's really about how I feel about myself and when your spouse doesn't make you feel like you're desireable, you seek that feeling elsewhere. Okay that and unadulterated lust ;-)
380505
not important untill MARRAIGE
987540
Thumper3755 put it best - you have to be happy with yourself above all else. If you aren't, no one else is going to be able to make you happy.\n\nMany people define part of themselves by their careers.  Other people are passionate about a sport or a hobby.  In those cases, these things say just as much about who you are and what you are about as your choice of a spouse.   A well rounded person's happiness should be made up of several different things.  It sounds like your wife is one of those people. It doesn't mean you aren't important to her.  It just means she is about more than being your wife, which is a good thing.  She needs you to help her feel better about another thing she cared about, in that case, her job.  It's good she has multiple things that bring her happiness.\n\nYou, on the other hand, should watch out.  Your entire source of happiness shouldn't be entirely dependent on another person, just as if the only thing that made your wife happy was her job.You'd say she was too wrapped up in her career than is healthy, right?  You'd wonder if perhaps she had too narrow a view of life.  So aren't you in danger of making her think the same thing?  Not to mention it can put alot of pressure on her down the road and make her feel you are too needy and clingy - definitely not attractive to women. \n\nTo be a more mentally healthy person and keep the marriage going strong, you might consider finding a job or hobby you're passionate about. That can make you seem more interesting to her, plus give you other sources of happiness when the marriage hits rough patches.
854258
I love my husband very very much. Since the day we've met we've never had an 'argument', we've gotten snippy with one another, but never anything more than that. We always talk about what is bothering us and what we really want, no reading between the lines. If we are unhappy with something, we work together to fix it. we always eat dinner together, no matter what, we shop together and try and spend quality time together. We dont go to bed mad and we say we love each other all the time. Just a lot of little things that can go a long ways.
733456
I think you need to get over yourself.  You can still get married and do the things you want to do.  But make sure you are being fair to him.  Figure out what priority is first and make sure he knows it and if he is truly worth your time and hand in marriage he will help you keep that priority at the top.  What is important to you is important to him...that kind of thing.
834044
yes very happy through both good and bad times, there is no one i would rather come home to or spend time with. we have been married for eight years and it just gets better everyday. the primary reason is that she understands/forgives my hobbies and interests and i understand hers. give and take and flexability on both sides make it much easier. the first year was just getting used to each others habits, and the more rigid (i will not/your fault/my way) additudes just scew it up. and forgive and forget. no grudges.
447656
Not bad but selfish.  You cannot make yourself feel passion but you can make yourself feel intimacy and committment.  If you are unwilling to do that then let your husband go for his sake, not yours.
664774
Go with the flow...\n\nI don't like to be interfered with.  I like to be left alone, and for the b/f just to do what he is told, like go shopping, make me a coffee, and not to argue with me.  It doesn't last long!\n\nYou got it, the analyst!\n\nInstead of asking all the other ladies here, it would be best to ask your wife what SHE would like you to do - and ask her in between her periods!
294841
I think I read the average is three or four times a week for couples married 10 years or more and slightly higher for the ones married less time ...how they come up with that one is beyond me I never had a call asking how often we were doing it. Quality is more important than quantity though. I also read that married people have it more often than singles.
457542
Send emails,call..appreciate the times when you are together.The absence makes the time together that much more special.You need both..there is a dichotomy in everything.A high and a low..an opposite,that is necessary for the Universe to function.So for you to be together,there must be time apart... simple.It may not be an equal time,but it is there.
657348
My husband is active duty, but is able to retire because he has served 20 years. I enjoy being an officers wife. He is often gone, which is a down side, but during those times I am able to bond with my girlfriends. As stated in a previous message when he returns it feels like we are newlyweds. I also enjoy the constant moving. If you move to a place that you dont like, it's no big deal because you know that in two or three years you will be gone. I work also and when he is not home I do not have to rush home to make sure that his dinner is prepared properly and the house is in proper order.
553203
Maybe you could slow down on the working part of your life and commit more time to your Very Beautiful wife.....who seems to devote her life to you all day!!! Let her know how much you appreciate her....maybe send her on a little weekend getaway to a spa all by herself so she knows what it's like to not have to be home taking care of eveyone all the time....and so you can have some appreciation for what she does!!! I bet she would love that...or get a babysitter and take a little trip together, somewhere romantic!! Have fun....and treat her like the princess she is...sounds like she treat you like a prince!
1083029
On my experience, communication is very important. If something is wrong tell your partner about it honestly and if it's about him, tell him about it nicely, at the right time, at the right place. Also make time for one another. Others think that having sex is already time for one another but that's not it. When your spouse comes back from work, make an effort if you can like wait at the door to greet him/her just to make your partner feel special and want. That you are excited to be in his/her presence. Also even just 10-15 minutes, just hugging or kissing, or just a simple conversation about what happen with his/her days while cuddling, simple things like this really means alot to a relationship. Or if you have time on the weekend go out for dinner or just cruise around, go to the beach watch sunset, exercise together stuff like that.