Ok, pre-divorce question #3, telling the children...?
456502
they already have a sense, just be honest, and let them know its not thier fault
1104918
Your kids will grow up and eventually get a life of their own, and if they don't understand now they will then.  I am talking from experience when I say to go go go.  Believe me, the kids feel the tension, and some take it personal.\nJust make sure u let them know that you both love them, just not each other and things have to change for the better.  You don't say how old they are but u can make it age appropriate on how to tell them.  The younger they are, the more simple u say it.  Good Luck.
1116885
You should sit down with your children and see if they have any questions or comments to make concerning the divorce.\n\nChildren often have a difficult time with divorce so you may have to had many conversations with them in order to get them to understand that the divorce was not their fault, and that it happens - not every couple is meant to stay together.\nThey may also wonder what is in the future for them now that their parents are divorced.  The children may have many questions and fears - so address those questions and fears - and find out where your children's heads are.\n\nGod bless and good luck!
1040358
Before you break up, go see a marriage counselor. Sit down and discuss everything together. Get the children a chance to sit down and talk about what they are thinking about, worried about, also.\n\nGood luck.\n\nIf you all can learn to love and live together as a family, and it is worth the battle to get there, life can be wonderful.
111628
You say you are "unhappy", what does that mean?  If there were no kids involved i'd say move on, but children are precious and deserve all you and your wife can do to resolve this.  But making your kids the reason for staying is weak, nobody wins.  Communication is the key, there had to have been a time when your wife was the best woman that happened to you right?  She still is and it's worth finding out together what changed.  And even if you still come to the same conclusion you can honestly say you tried, do THAT for the children.
131555
I think it's a great idea!  My husband and I were married for 8 years, divorced for 7.  We had 3 kids. During our divorce, he remarried, had another child.  When their marraige failed (we all knew it would), he came back to me.  We remarried.  We are now expecting our last child.  \n\nInitially, we got married very young.  We were both selfish and immature!  The time apart during our divorce enabled the both of us to mature!  We have come back into this relationship with a more mature attitude ... knowing what we both want from this relationship!  Our kids are much happier, and so are we!\n\nI say don't be afraid of it.  The best part is that you already know him ... you know his good points and bad points, and hopefully you are both more capable of dealing with the adversities in marriage than you were before.\n\nToo many people want to look at the downside of divorce and say not to give it another chance .... I say divorce was the best thing to ever happen to my marriage.
137693
Your parents have their reasons, I'm sure. But have you asked them to explain to you? They may not be able to, or they may not want to, but consider the possiblity that they did what was best, not only for them, but for you too. \n\nMy husband and I are seperated for reasons I hope I never have to tell my children.
1167222
I spent 10 years with my first love who did NOTHING but accuse me of cheating. Even after two kids and finalizing my faithfullness with MARRIAGE (which I regreat every day of my existance) YOU dont have to do a DAMN thing to prove that you are what you are, faithfull and a proud mom. Look at how awesome you are with providing for your kids no matter what curve ball life throws your way. It took me to 6 years to stop my putting up with his claims and accusations that I finally dusted myself up one day and realized, (1)How the Hell am I going to keep on putting up with this and (2) why would I put my kids through this? They are such incredible sponges and you are their role in relationships, family and love. My last straw was relationship counseling, that brought out alot of hidden insecurities that I never knew he had as well as shed some light onto several of his accusations. He actually WAS cheating for awhile and guilt wouldnt let him life it down. After 2 months of "trying for the kids" I left. Me and the kids got our stuff together, I fought for full custody and I havent been happier in a long time. There is a sole mate out there for you and HE will FIND YOU, not that you have to force it to happen just because you had kids with the guy. That is the worst reasons. You are making it alone (emotionally, and financially) you can do it without the added pressure of his stupidity. I have all the faith and prayer in the world on your side and you can get through this. You wont be alone, You will be Happy and Stress Free With Your KIDS. They need you. How old is your youngest? How old is your oldest? Dont hesitate contacting me for questions or advice. My heart goes out to you. PrncssNiki@yahoo.com
1132290
If you Have tried all there is to save your marriage and it just doesn't work, The best thing you could do is stay apart. The leaving and coming back is hurting your children and confusing them even more. i know you may feel as if you are abandoning them, but children see and feel what their parents are going through. the best saying i have heard is "Children would rather be from a broken home, Than IN a broken Home. Staying in this marriage for the children will only drag you down emotionally. And will hinder any stability and security you have to offer to your children. Give your children the opportunity to have a stable, well balanced father they well be so much grateful to haveat least ONE balanced parent than two confrontational ones. If they know you love them unconditionally, believe me, there is not a thing that can be said to them that they will change their view of you.
862850
Ive heard of kids divorcing their parents before which just sounds a bit wierd to me. But im sure ive heard it somewhere!
65737
No divorce is easy, but there needs to be the right kind of communication between the parents and children involved. They need to know it's not their fault and that they will still have a family even if it means the father and mother not living together. The worst is when the child hears the one parents  bad-mouth the other, so that should be avoided at all costs. It makes the chil pick sides in defense and confuses them on the matter.
722912
have you exhausted all other options?  example: talking to a trusted friend/family member, seeking counselling from a higher up in your church and or counselling from a professional?  dont just jump into divorce, you may live to regret it.  my ex husband does..
766789
explain calmly 2 teacher, ask son/other kids side of story
1182397
I would tell him what is going on, but ask him not to say you are the one who told him. To have him kind of "spy" on the situation when he is around and for him to see his g/f not caring for the kids and being on the computer all the time. This is not healthy for the kids. No one should leave a 2 & 4 year old child outside alone! No matter where you live. I think you would be doing the right thing by telling him. Personally, I know I would tell him, if it was me.\nGood luck.
161352
I'm not one to really talk since I've been divorced twice, but still, I think that unless he's abusing you or your kids, give him a chance to remind you of why you married him in the first place. "For better or worse" There is nothing worse than regret, and if you decide to end the relationship without serious counsuling or prayer (if you're religious) that you may wind up regreting leaving the man whose stood by you all those years. And 9 is a big number, so unless you've been lying to yourself and him for that long, you're marriage deserves a lengthy examination.
678983
It's never easy to tell a child of these things. First of all them that mommy and daddy love them very very much. And that things are going to change, and mommy will be at home, but daddy is going to have a new home. Let them know that no matter what, you two will always be there for them. Most importantly, the child did nothing to make daddy go away... this is most important....
755041
=you did not say if children were involved.  I assume NOT.  How can you possibly say that you are satisfied with your wife?  Shame on you.  Either work it out with your lovely wife or get a divorce and set her free.  If this is for real you both need to move on.  God bless both of you.