Tips for surviving a month with the in-laws?
471381
This will be a big test of your love for your spouse if you can pull this off without wanting to get out of the family completely.  I would suggest that you go in with an open mind and a servant heart.  Show interest in the things they find interesting--especially if it is in doing things a different way than you do.  Be willing to help out with chores--not to take over--but to go along side those working to show you are wanting to be with them and learn how they like things done.\n\nMost importantly, find time for time alone with your spouse and don't vent your frustrations to him, even if he is venting his frustrations to you.  And find time alone where you can clear your mind, re-commit yourself to being a learner and servant and have a cell phone so you can call up a friend you know you can vent your frustrations to!
606632
First, you know you parents. If you feel that you shouldn't tell them until a month before, you obviously have your reasons. But I don't think I'd let  them know that we'd known it for too long beforehand....\n\nI think you should invite all the parents out for dinner. Tell them you have exciting news. \n\nWhen you tell them, make sure that you let them know that you and your husband are starting a new chapter in your lives, and that you are going to brave an exciting new opportunity that has opened up for you. And since change is not only exciting, but also intimidating, that you are really counting on each of them to give you the emotional support you'll need to leave your lives here and start your new lives in your new town. If they understand that you need them on your side, they'll be less likely to be negative about it, or try to talk you out of it.\n\nThen, if they're the kind of people who want to help, tell them exactly what you've already planned, and whatever else needs to be done so you can leave.  Mabie even take them with you when you go to sign the rental agreement, so they know what your town looks like. If they can be involved, they won't feel  so deserted.\n\nAnd make sure you underline your plan to keep in touch. Research cell phone or regular phone plans, or talk everyone into getting headsets and a pc to pc phone plan, mabie with internet cameras, so they know you plan to stay in touch, and that they arn't losing you.\n\nRealize that this move will help your marriage to grow. My family lives 700 miles away from my and my husband's families. Being so far away from help means that we have to depend on each other, and we're very close because of it.
303169
This is one of the hardest things to resolve in relationships, unfortunately. Keep in mind that your mother-in-law is also your wife's mother. I'm sure you already know that most people try to please, or at least placate, their mother. You're in a difficult position, but there are some things you can do:\n\n1. Communicate with your wife ... constantly. The two of you must not allow this to interfere with your relationship.\n\n2. Communicate with your mother-in-law. Do NOT retaliate in kind ... EVER! Do NOT lose your temper! She obviously angers you, but you have to be bigger than that. Ask her what it is that bothers her about you and offer to try and change at least some of those things ( IF you can and IF they are not part and parcel of who you are ).\n\n3. If you can afford to, you and your wife should find a competent marriage counselor to help you cope with this problem ... soon!\n\n4. When the baby arrives, I suspect your mother-in-law will want very much to see him/her as often as possible, particularly if this is her first grandchild. This gives you an excellent lever. Stress to your mother-in-law that this is both YOUR child and HER grandchild, and that both of you should want to do what is best for the child; and that her berating you will definitely NOT be good for the child. As an ABSOLUTE LAST RESORT, if you and your wife AGREE on this, BOTH of you have a talk with her mother and tell her, as gently as possible, that the TWO of you have decided to not expose your child to your mother-in-law's berating of you. Stress that, if she is willing to stop it, she can visit anytime the three of you agree. Let me stress again that this is a LAST RESORT, and should only be used if BOTH you and your wife truly AGREE!\n\nGood luck with this, and don't foget to seek that which is best for ALL parties involved.
528509
I'm in the army and so is my husband.  you never get use to it it always sucks.  Just try not to dwell on it.  Try to stay occupied with something while he is gone and live for the moment when he is there.  I read a lot of books or make quilts while my husband is away or browse on here.  In fact, my husband is gone for a month right now.
855475
If she's kind hearted, be thankful. Many mother-in-laws do MUCH worse things. Get a tub, put a label on it, store the clothes. Think of it as shopping in advance. If you must, donate them. Don't assume what her reasons for this are, it may make complete sense to her. By the way, if she does this every year you must have clothes that fit them from two Christmases ago. Personally I think, be kind, let it go, life is short.
184135
It is very hard to sad to deal with. Do you have family near by? That helped me. Do you work? Praying really helped alot! Do you have IM? does he have it too? I know on the AKO you get install the IM and that saves some heatache. \nI remeber when my hubby was there. I was 4 months preggers when he left. That was very diffcult. But you have got to keep your self busy.  I know it sounds mean but you really have to. Hang in there and I will keep you in my prayers as I do for every miltary spouse and their spouses!
1082057
every day just remember how much you love your husband and his child. that helps alot
538360
pretty simple move with your husband and leave in-laws there!! why would in-laws go with you any way?? are you married to them also, or what- that was the weirdest question I've seen in a long time!!
273465
Be patient with yourself, join a support group at your church or talk to a family counsellor (with or without your spouse). Be patient with your kids, spend as much quality time with them knowing that they are caught in the middle of an adult issues and are too young to understand the complexity of these issues.  Just go out and have as much fun with them as possible at the park, mall or the children's museum.  Do not neglect your health (ie: overeating-->obese or undereating).  If you're not into the gym go for light walks, and by all means use meditation tapes they really do help.  Give your spouse that space she needs  but keep the channel of communications open.  Be honest with each other and don't try to sweep your marriage issues under the rug or they will never be resolved.  Good Luck.
69058
My mom used to pack us off to the park (I was the oldest and in charge) and spend time sleeping or cleaning up the house in peace. Possibly, you could stage a weekend sleep over at their cousin's house or someone you trust. Best of luck.\nK.
990171
develop a simple set of rules. nothing too extensive, but so it covers main points you would be in trouble with:\n\n- cleaning;\n- friends/boyfriends/girlfriends staying over;\n- disturbance.\n- if you are not a very close-knit group, have a house-meeting once a month. if there are not any problems to discuss, you can just hang out nicely; and if, unfortunately, there are, you know everybody will be there to discuss them.\n\nDon't overdo it, you don't want to pass as a control freak :) But do be serious about it. In a month or so, everybodo gets used and it will be comfortable.\n\nFinally, once in a while, it is wise to let a thing or two slide. If you let others enjoy themselves, when they really want to, they will do the same for you.
540689
try grouping them then tell them that the most obedient group will get a packet of sweets each but take note their health too make sure the sweets will not triger any of ther allergies. If you don't have time to buy sweets or not enough $ then try giving them points. The group that has the most points will get something at the end of the month. So meanwhile use this month to save enough $ to buy somehting for the winning group.Try punishing th emost naughtiest group then so all of the groups will strive to get away from the punishments and try to get the presents at the end of the month.\n\nGood Luck to you...
1019371
My first reaction is not to vacation with unacceptable in-laws.  But you'd probably say that just isn't an option - there are, after all, "Family" !  <yikes>  So that means that you are going and the children will be exposed.  So there is no way to discretely shelter your children - and there never will be.  Children will ALWAYS be exposed to lifestyles, habits, interests, and behavior you do not want them to adopt.  Children learn what they live and so your job is to keep them "living" the way you want them to grow.  We have all cried to our parents "But Jimmy's mom let's HIM do......" and we have all been the parent that has said, "I'm not Jimmy's mom."  Same with "Sally does it" to which the reply is "If Sally jumped off a cliff, would you do that ?"  \n\nMake sure your children behave the way you expect them to behave....in play, in the bathroom, at the dinner table, in conversation....blah, blah, blah.  And make no apologies to those family members around you who tell you to lighten up or back off.  Just smile and nod knowingly and raise your children the way you see fit.\n\nJust a note about my own mother.  She taught us from a very early age not to interrupt.  And so, as children are wont to do, we'd come running in to where she was with other adults, and she would place her hand on our shoulder (or head,,,,) and that was our signal that she knew we were there and she would turn to us in a moment but that we were to keep quiet until she did so.  It took awhile, but we learned and after that - SHE was the envy of every parent around.  \n\nYou can't shelter your kids from the outside world and you can't control it.  All you can do is prepare them for it, let them loose in it, and keep the home life a steady and consistent place for them to learn how to handle it.\n\nGood luck!
414186
Go out and make friends with other navy wives. Join their clubs and ask them the same question as this one and see how they cope when their husband are overseas
94173
block their #s from your phone. write to your in laws (return reciept) and tell them point blank: this is MY husband NOT your little boy. you've done all the raising of MY HUSBAND that you will ever do. mother in law, if you have a husband then HE needs to provide for you. MY HUSBAND does not need to provide anything for you. that's YOUR husband's job. and to sis: do you have husband? no. then you are your PARENTS responibility. go get a life i got mine. and tell your husband to get a SPINE and use it. he chose you not his sister.
571261
Replace your comfort food with veggies, fruits or poultry  that you have ready in your fridge for times like that.\nThat helps me and my hubby a lot a lot:) sometimes we all want  to eat 'something' make that something available immediately be something that is good for you.:)
778047
1st thing:  Breathe!  You'll get through this & have some great memories in a few years.\n\nNext, don't be embarressed for your in-laws.  It's not YOUR fault they are the way they are.  Your parents/family KNOW this. \n\nRegarding the kids, plan on doing a children's table.  2 reasons:  keep them seperate from the adults so you can have "grown up conversations" and you can use that same table for activities such as puzzles, games, crafts, etc. \n\nFor the menu:  Tell them that you had planned on traditional Thanksgiving dinner.  If they would like to make & bring barbeque, that would be great!  Then both families can share what they consider traditional.\n\nHave fun!  Remember this won't be the only time the families get together.  Make the best of it!