How do I deal with a jeolous and nosy workmate (female)??
458672
Allow her to ignore you and be jealous of you.  What harm can it do to you?  Just go about your daily routine as if she did not exist.  She just wanted to to bring her man to your flat so they could have some place to spend time together without fear of getting caught and when you ssaid no she found that you were of no use to her and that you had higher morals.  So she ignores you because she's a selfish B and you won't cater to her, and she's jelous because you're better than her.  Just use her as a daily reminder of the good person you are.
631049
You can handle this situation in 3 steps.\n\n1...Know that every time she talks she gives you compliments in disguise. Jealousy is the root.\n\n2...Very important. Stop listening to what was said. If you make clear to every one at work your non-interest to hear any gossip, by so doing, from her part, why talking to deaf ears. You will make her non-existant.\n\n3... Show yourself the bigger person. Say to her with a smile good-morning/good-night. I guarantee you: she will be crushed.
288803
wow... this is hard\ni think there really isnt a polite way to tell her to shave\nbut you said that everyone in your office is disturbed\nso you can ask other female coworkers to "discuss" what is the best razor/ wax etc etc with her\nask them to ask "what do you use?" etc, those kind of Qs\nif it's not working, ask your boss to install air conditioning =)
889182
Just tell her the truth and if she begins to go off, just leave.  You don't have to worry about seeing her anymore if you quit so who cares what she thinks.  Or you can stand your ground and when she begins to go off just say, "Look!  This is exactly why I am quitting.  I deserve to be treated with respect and any manager that runs a respectable business would know that it is inappropriate to humiliate an employee in front of other coworkers.  As for you constantly accusing me of theft without any proof...some people would consider this harassment and grounds for your dismissal."  That should shut her up.  Good luck.  I've had one too many bosses the same way.
340407
cover your a$$, cya, CYA.  If you can keep your contact with her to a minimum then by all means, do so.  Make sure that you cover all your bases when you are at the old jobsite.  See if someone else at your old company could be your point of contact.  If her complaints are general, then maybe you could talk to her supervisor and see if something could be resolved that way. If there is already a record of a problem between the two of you, then your old company should be able to restrict her from harassing you further. \n    Good luck to you.
579327
Toni, I think I used to work with her sister; I knew someone just like that. She sounds like a piece of work, and unfortunately there's someone like that at every job, at every church, in every group. But, you didn't take that job for her, and don't lose that job over her. It sounds like you have a lax group of managers that they don't respond to your complaints, but trust and believe they will step in and level their authority once you take matters into your own hands. Don't stoop to her level, but elevate her to yours. Be strong, be patient, and eventually a positive change will take place to remove her as a headache in your life. There will be a promotion, transfer, something, to get her off your back. Actually, you sound pretty funny, maybe one day we can talk and you can come join myself and a sharp female doctor in our business and you won't have to worry about coworkers or bosses. With your sense of humor and your medical background, I think you could do quite well. Good luck to you, and I don't want to see a posting from you asking if anybody knows a good lawyer to represent you for assault (lol) It will get better.
790319
Try not to let it get to you, but it might be a good time to update your resume and look around.  Working for someone like that isn't going to get any better.  She may be technically within her rights, but it's not good manners, to say the least.
729654
As soon as you enter the office, say to yourself----"IT's SHOWTIME!"\n    tHen you pretend you are an actor, and that you have to be nice and cool to this co-worker.  Or you can just simply IGNORE HER, close your eyes and ears whenever she's around.  Get an Ipod, and listen to it when she's there.  Keep yourself extremely busy so you won't have space for her.
31225
I think:  1. Document the date and behavior. 2. Talk to someone in human resources.  Depending on the workplace, there may also be an outside consultant who acts as the "ombudsperson" for gender and equity issues. 3. Keep a record in case you need to go to the EEOC (Equal Employment and Opportunity Commission).\n\nI would not talk to colleagues about the offensive behavior because I think that could only make the situation more confusing and possibly worse.  This is something that needs to be handled quietly between employee and boss, but the situation definitely shouldn't be ignored for important reasons.  First, it creates an uncomfortable and possibly hostile work environment for the worker, and she could suffer emotionally and psychologically as a result and her productivity may go down, too.  Second, the boss may have a pattern of sexually harassing his employees, and that needs to be addressed.  She may not be the first person.  Harassment is an issue of power, not of sexual attraction.\n\nGood luck regardless.  It's a tough situation.
791583
Nobody deserves to go to work day in and day out and feel nervous and on the edge. It's pretty obvious that this women is solidifying her position by being indespensable..... that's why she leaves information out. Number one of course start looking for a new job. But more importantly, as you need this you need to protect yourself. Instead of concentrating onbeing nervous, turning it inward, turn it outward....... be angry. There are laws about such behavior and it falls into work place harassment. Any company hears these words and they start seeing huge problems. Yes, you can tape her..... but not phone conversations. You need to write down what was discussed in what meetings. If you company is big enough submit a written letter explaining your inabilty to do your job (citing your previous experience) to the human resources person. If your health plan covers it go see atherapist here and there..... it would help in the long run. But more easily done....... have a meeting with this women and someone high up and express your concerns in a professional manner. Usually such people as this women cannot justify their behavior in such a setting. More detail would be helpful. Remember, nobody deserves this.... so use the enrgy to be mad about it. Plus life has a way of working out. Good luck to you!
350801
BAD idea. Invite her. If you two do not get along, chances are she would not come anyway. If you don't invite JUST her, word WILL get around. If not before the party, then after. Someone will slip. It's not fair to other co-workers to ask them to keep quiet about the party. Invite her. Be cordial to her at the party if she shows up. Don't let her ruin your party by being miserable all day.
41713
Try communication with him/her, if that doesn't work then get another job.  This may help him/her or they may not care and go through workers like underwear.
1089022
When you know she is wrong about something, get the proof and put it on her desk 9don't let her know wher eit came from.) Or, get a couple of people to work with oyu on this, but when she is beeing to interruptive, take her to the side (liek a professional should, witha stand by if need be, then she can't freek) and say. I am sorry to tell yo this, but I do not apprechate the way you talk to me or the way you interrupt (really anyhting that is on your mind.) She wil be embarressed, promise. Also, have other people do the same. Be sure to stay professional. Also, the best thing is when you knwo she is wrong about soemthing and you have proof. If you can stay consisten, stay professional, don't back down, and have other people do the same, I promisse she wil stop that soon (she wil be more uncomfortable than she makes you). That is not beeing rude, or not nice, it is beeing professional. You have a job and it seems that your interrest is in having a good work environment and therfore, for the better of the business or job. Remeber, take her to the side, with oneother person max, if you do it infron of people she will might get divensive and it can back fire. She might anyhow, but just start aut your conversation with:\n"I am just taking you to the side to tel you something and really do not want a reply, but rather have you think on it. So please listen and no hard feelings. This is a work place and it is for the best of the business (Unit, Team, whatever it is) that we have a good work environment and  this and that is not helping. SO please think on it and maby we can talk about it. (Always best to havea third person there, just so she cannot say you did or say something bad or wrong to her.) Hoep this helps,\nCole
439201
I can imagine how complicate it is to have such a person in your environment. Sometime it could be a member of your family, your spouse, and then it is much more complicate. \n\nIf you have such a person in your workplace, just remember one important thing; DO NOT feel sorry. \n\nHe/she is not so poor and weak and self-victimizing persons survive in this world very well. They use their "victim position" to manipulate with people, to emotionally and morally blackmail them, what is very exhausting. People in their surrounding usually feel confused, guilty, exhausted. They feel like they cannot help them, cannot do or say the right thing...\n\nDon't let him/her drag you in his/her vicious circle. If you find yourself feel sorry or sad, stop it. Don't empathize and don't try to help or offer the solution. Try to concentrate on your work and let her know it from the very beginning of your working day. If she starts to talk about problems, listen to her politely to some extend, then show her that you "accept" and "understand" what she told you and then either change the subject or tell her that now you have to concentrate on your duties. You can eventually tell her that she is the one who has to resolve her problems and that you cannot help her, but don't let yourself be a part of her problems. And don't be surprised if she reacts on it as if you are not empathic enough, you don't understand her or something like that. This is a usual strategy to make you feel guilty, because SOMEBODY HAS TO BE GUILTY, for her. Stay out and remember that it is not easy. If nothing helps, talk with your superior to eventually move you to another office.\n\nadditional details:\nYou obviously know him very well. You said that those persons are like chameleons and are very good in that. That is exactly the characteristic of manipulator. Don't blame yourself for feeling sorry and offer a support. It is normal human reaction and every normal person would do that. But if you feel permanently guilty and exhausted in communication with him, stop it. YOUR guilty feelings and exhausting are sure signs that you have a problem with manipulator. NOBODY HAS A RIGHT TO MAKE YOU FEEL LIKE THAT.
76525
Exerpt from an about.com HR article:\n\n"These are ten productive ways to deal with your difficult coworker. Let's start with the first five.\n\n    * Start out by examining yourself. Are you sure that the other person is really the problem and that you're not overreacting? Have you always experienced difficulty with the same type of person or actions? Does a pattern exist for you in your interaction with coworkers? Do you recognize that you have hot buttons that are easily pushed? (We all do, you know.) Always start with self-examination to determine that the object of your attention really is a difficult person’s actions.\n\n\n    * Explore what you are experiencing with a trusted friend or colleague. Brainstorm ways to address the situation. When you are the object of an attack, or your boss appears to support the dysfunctional actions of a coworker, it is often difficult to objectively assess your options. # Anger, pain, humiliation, fear and concern about making the situation worse are legitimate emotions.\n\nPay attention to the unspoken agreement you create when you solicit another’s assistance. You are committing to act unless you agree actions will only hurt the situation. Otherwise, you risk becoming a whiner or complainer in the eyes of your colleague.\n\n\n# Approach the person with whom you are having the problem for a private discussion. Talk to them about what you are experiencing in “I” messages. (Using “I” messages is a communication approach that focuses on your experience of the situation rather than on attacking or accusing the other person.) You can also explain to your coworker the impact of their actions on you.\n\nBe pleasant and agreeable as you talk with the other person. They may not be aware of the impact of their words or actions on you. They may be learning about their impact on you for the first time. Or, they may have to consider and confront a pattern in their own interaction with people. Worst case? They may know their impact on you and deny it or try to explain it away. Unfortunately, some difficult people just don’t care. During the discussion, attempt to reach agreement about positive and supportive actions going forward.\n\n\n# Follow up after the initial discussion. Has the behavior changed? Gotten better? Or worse? Determine whether a follow-up discussion is needed. Determine whether a follow-up discussion will have any impact. Decide if you want to continue to confront the difficult person by yourself. Become a peacemaker. (Decide how badly you want to make peace with the other person and how much you want your current job. Determine whether you have experienced a pattern of support from your boss.) If you answer, “yes,” to these questions, hold another discussion. If not, escalate and move to the next idea.\n\n\n# You can confront your difficult coworker’s behavior publicly. Deal with the person with gentle humor or slight sarcasm. Or, make an exaggerated physical gesture – no, not that one – such as a salute or place your hand over your heart to indicate a serious wounding.\n\nYou can also tell the difficult person that you’d like them to consider important history in their decision making or similar words expressed positively, depending on the subject. Direct confrontation does work well for some people in some situations. I don’t think it works to ask the person to stop doing what they’re doing, publicly, but you can employ more positive confrontational tactics. Their success for you will depend on your ability to pull them off. Each of us is not spur-of-the-moment funny, but if you are, you can use the humor well with difficult coworkers.\n\n# If you have done what you can do and employed the first five recommended approaches with little or no success, it’s time to involve others. Note that you are escalating the situation. Prepare to talk with your boss. Take notes and address the issues, not as interpersonal problems, but as issues aff
266398
Just keep telling her that you have plans and eventually, she'll stop asking, I guess. Yea, it sux being a woman and having to deal with that kind of bullsh!t. Stay friendly with her because, like you said, keep your enemies closer.\n\nAt the same time, don't even worry about her BS. What can she say about you if you never hang out, your outfit today is bad?? Who cares what she says.
899984
I'm assuming you are referring to personal info, not work related info. I've worked many jobs and the only thing I can tell you is that there is an "a**hole" at every company, no matter how much you like your job. As someone else said, just communicate with her regarding work related issues. You don't have to be best friends with the people that you work with, but sometimes you have to try to work with them as much as you hate them as a person. If you really can't stand it, find another job. Writing her a letter along with the rest of your coworkers is just going to cause more trouble. When I was younger, I used to let people like that bother me to the point that I would "tattle" on them. But in the end, I'm the one that suffered. Just do your job and only tell your personal business to people that you do not work with.