I,ve just recently moved on my own .i was marriedfor 12 years ,but i choose to separate from him .need to save
465036
I am a single mother also trying to save money, the best thing I have been able to do for myself it make out a very tight budget and instead of getting starbucks 4 times a week i get it once and buy a nicer coffee or instead of paying to get my nails done my girls friend and i have drinks and do it for each other. $10 here and there each week adds up.
1073728
Before removing your self from mortgage, why did you leave the property?\nGo to a lawyer and take his advise pronto.
578693
I guess it depends on the stage of one's life.  I am having a hard time accepting that my husband wants to seperate and probably divorce and I think I need him more.  It is pretty obvious to me that he does not need me otherwise he would not be able to ask for this.
386896
Think you've already made your decision by moving out but instead of following your head or your heart follow your instincts,don't think that after being with someone soo long that you can start fresh like strangers,as you have said you'd need to fix what was wrong in the first place...but if he's not willing to do that what's the point of trying again,you have to think about yourself,and your children,life's to short to be messed about...your the only one to see the relationship they way it is so your the only one that can answer your question but if i was you i'd say away and listen to your instincts,your gut feeling they're very rarely wrong...
1058963
Now my spouse makes me feel complete. It only took 30 years. All I can say is you have to compromise. If you fight, you can't leave , you can ignore each other until everything cools down. I watched my sibblings leave their spouses time and time again, they always went back. That was time wasted. Work things out. There are no 2 people perfectly compatable. You have to work at it. Even now , we are not even 80% compatable, but there was no way, even 10 years ago that I was gonna start over. You probably found the right person, but how would you know , now? Good luck.
887378
Thanks for saying you were 25.  It is difficult to know what you need to do if you know you have to move away.  You realize the closer you get, the more pain you feel when you have to leave.  I have been through it myself.  I bit the bullet and poured out my heart and told her how I felt.  It didn't get me anywhere, but I felt better about it.  It is best to lay all the cards out on the table and take the consequences, than to regret that you passed up the chance later on.  A nice quite dinner and a little snuggle time without a crowd is all it takes to get a guy to open up.
478910
Because the marriage changes one or both of you.  You look at things different.  Before it was easy and a bit carefree knowing you could always walk away.  Now you will have to work on being together.  Topics that you thought you knew about your spouse will come up and floor you.  Take money, it use to be you did what you did. Sure pay the bills and so on, but now that your married and you want to save for a house, the other person wants anew car.  Which way do you go?  Marriage take constant work. 13 years and counting for myself.  Best of luck to you
1171346
I have been married 23 years. In the last six my husband has spent a lot time being unemployed, ran off a few times, then wants to come back. But each time he ran off I did better without him. For example two years ago when he left, we were living in a small rural community. I decided since he was gone, to move to a larger city. After I did, I worked two jobs. He lived with us (my kids and I) for awhile, sitting around painting pictures and making promises to get a job. In February, we got a large tax refund. While I was at work, he took off with $1500 he never earned! I decided after that to stop trusting him and take care of myself. I enrolled in a vocational school, a decision I've never regretted. He still wants me back, but doesn't want to live in this city. My kids totally hate him. I think I can do much better without him, even though I may be alone for the rest of my life. (I'm done with relationships)
534696
just one word of advice! You sound young, i got married at 19, and am about to get divorced (i'm 20) we rushed into things wayyyyy too fast. We barely knew each other well enough to move in together and be married. Take things slow! Stay engaged awhile!
247446
Wait until your married or until you have lived together for a couple of years.
274767
first of all . . . . you both married too young . . . unable to merge your life together.\n\nHe won't change until he has grown up . . . and I know you love him . . . but you either accept him the way he is . . . or you leave him.\n\nIf he runs away . . . when things get tough . . . imagine how it would be if you got pregnant and have children . . . it would be very difficult . . . and it would be unfair to the children.\n\nHe hasn't matured enough . . . and neither have you . . . as for divorce. . . .  you were married for less than a year . . . get it annulled . . . it is cheaper and would be like you two were never married.  If you wait until the year mark  . . . I am going to ask why . . . so you could collect 6 months alimony.\n\nEnd it . . . and keep your dignity.  You can date him . . . until he matures . . . but as for living together . . . forget it.  Also . . . use the time . . . to your best interest . . . focus on your career because you are being distracted by this.
225375
No one wants to be alone so I can understand your fear.  Daydreaming about being single and dating all over again?  Well you say that your husband was the only man you were with so your inexperience with the dating schene may be a little distorted.  Now I am not saying if you split up that you would not be able to find someone else.  But the dating schene has changed in 18 yrs.  Also, having kids and expecting someone to accept them can be a concern, but there are men out there that will.  I guess what I am saying is that when you daydream about something and then act on it, you may wind up in a nightmare.\n\nAs for the marriage, it is tough when one individual feels as if they put out more than the other.  I will assume that you have talked to your husband about this since you say you separated several times.  I will also assume that you have been to counseling to help in solving your issues.  But I still think you can find happiness in your marriage.  \n\nDo you feel as if your husband if asked would be willing to change???  Are you willing to examine what is bothering you inside about being with your husband???  Do you understand what divorce can do to children caught in the middle???  There are consequences to every action and dissolving a marriage is very serious.  If there has been violence or infidelity then I can understand.  I am not saying that these two reasons are automatic divorce, but they make a strong arguement for leaving.  Any other reason I think can be helped.  You say you give a 75% more than him.  Well If you gave that to solving the problems even if you were the only one initiating the change could go a long way.  You just can't continue to do what you have done in the past.  \nSpliting up didn't seem to work for you as you came back together, so your daydream must have not been your reality.\nI think you need counseling and he definitely needs to be involved.  I wish I had an answer on how to approach this.  But I would say just don't give up for the sake of giving up.  Some how you have to let him know how important this is to you.\n\nIt is up to you if you want to keep the security and comfort of your marriage.  It is not impossible to start a new relationship.  A lot of people here at answers make it seem like getting a divorce and remarrying is easy.  I don't agree with this and it is tough when you are on your own.  So beware of the advice you may receive and try to work on what you know and not dream about the unknown.  \n\nWell once again, Good luck and I'll pray for you\n\nWT
715027
Total up all your costs on paper and divide it by 2. Highlight the amount an leave it for him so that he can see what you are talking about. You are not the only person who lives in your home - you both do. You both are responsible for the household. If you feel strongly about it, let him know that if he doesn't pull his share, he can do it all on his own - as a single man.
641562
Go to court.  Or counter-offer if that is out of the question.  Like ask for a long term lease with a set rent increase each year.  If the house is his before the marriage, you don't have any claims on it so stay there as long as you need to.  If you don't want the store, get alimony.  Go over all of this with your lawyer to get your options quantified.
254060
After just being married, I'm sure that your mindset is that EVERYTHING should be together.  Seperate accounts is what he is used to at the moment.  This is all new for the both of you.  Give him a little time.  As time goes on, I am willing to bet the accounts will merge.  This is what happened to me.  I'm speaking from experience.  Don't push too much right now.  Lay low on this and see where it goes.
641183
You know i have been through this situation myself.  I'm not proud.  We just kind of drifted apart after the same amount of time as you, but were only separated for about 2 months.  I really liked the feeling of freedom and meeting other people.  I still think of a certain someone now and then, especially when my husband and i get into arguments about petty stuff.  I think "why did i even come back"?  Then i realize that he has put up with all my crap and it would be so hard to start all over and put effort into a new relationship.  I also think about my kids and in today's society kids need the guidance of both parents.  Anyway, i really do love my husband, it's just sometimes its fun to think of what could have been.  \nI'm not saying all marriages are to stay together for the sake of the children, it's just if you really love each other, you need to try and get passed the other man.\n\nTry to do things with your husband, take time for yourselves.  Go to the movies out to eat, or even spend time at the park with the kids(if it applies).  And just when you feel an argument coming on think and sometimes prayer comes in handy(if you are religious). \n\nGood luck. i wish you the best.
362758
If you and your husband split up, you will still be the representative payee for the 2 boys.  Just notify the local SS office and provide them with your bank details and new address.