How can you help someone that's too self-reliant?
460961
All I can tell you is...Good Luck ! I'm very similar to the person you have described. Except, I would have allowed you to crash on my couch. I believe what makes us that way is because we never really had anyone that we trusted enough, to really let ourselves open up and lean on them. Sometimes it's a good thing and other times it feels like a curse. I don't think you per say can break her out of this, but don't give up on her. It's just something that she has to acknowledge and work on every day.
1044019
You can't. She has to want to stop herself. You can talk to her, support her, try to find help for her, love her, encourage her. But you cannot make her stop.
1177337
I have often wondered that myself, and I still cannot find an appropriate answer.  How can we be expected to help others when we can't even help ourselves?
1137650
talk to them about your concerns. state that you are always willing and able to help them out in a crisis however, you don't feel the gratitude is honored. ask for a pay-raise if possible (if you are over-extending yourself) or heh, an earned day-ff. (with no remorse of guilt)
959384
Be there for them when they need to talk about their issues and when you have had all you can take - do something for yourself like a bubble bath, gardening or go for a walk. Something YOU enjoy - to take your mind off their problems.\nBTW. Do not feel bad if you have to tell them you can not take any more right now.
917723
Those who want to help others first need help themselves
180709
YOu can't help your friend as much as you wold like to you just can't. She has to help herself. (I know in NY there are places that will take you rehabs and stuff even if you dont have money , the state helps you) People that bad off NEED to hit rock bottom cause its the only thing that will make them turn around and help themselves. Sorry but its the truth.
487298
I have no problem with helping them learn to be self sufficient.  I do have a problem with financing them ad infinitum.  Remember the old adage? "Give a man a fish and he can eat for a day.  Teach a man to fish, and he can eat for a lifetime."  Teach them, train them.  Let them learn how to take care of themselves.
710621
1. Talk to the person about the problem. Do they see what they area doing? Do they understand the consequences to others of their behavior?\n2. What is their response to this discussion? Do they acknowledge the problem and want to help solve it? OR is it a 'too bad, that's the way it is' answer? \n3. If they want to try and solve it, then you will need to come to a compromise about time, labor, money etc. \nIf they have a too bad so sad attitude, then the way to deal with it is to leave.
1070604
You can't.....He can only help himself if he wants to......so stop wasting your time trying!
279351
So often in life we see a bad situation and desperately want to make it better. Most of the time we can't really do much. You indeed describe a terrible situation, but there is little you can do. More importantly though, take this opportunity to explore what is within yourself - why do you so desperately want to help someone who does not want to be helped? Every hear that joke: How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb? - Just one, but the light bulb has to WANT to change. It's true. You can't help people that don't want to be helped. When she hits rock bottom and decides to pick her life back up, that's when you will be able to help. Not before. Good luck.
791859
You don't help them at all. You support them and be there when they need a friend but if you try to do more than that it could be counter productive to their recovery process. It's not suppose to be easy.
508434
i am so like u. u don't need to stop helping.But Yes stop answering ppl right away when they need u. first let them realize who u are and how much helpful u have been. try that. some times u might have to stop helping those selfish ppl. but that doesn't mean ur not helpful. u need to help where someone really needs u. don't let them take advantage of u. when they come to know the reality they'll learn a lesson. and don't loose hope.
1014818
I think that this person needs to get some professional help.  He/she obviously has some serious issues - no one is worth hurting yourself for.
921290
Try to build them up.  Compliment them. Help them resolve issue they have and perhaps take them to counseling.
39631
Ask them where in the Bible it says, "God helps those who help themselves." Just remember that people want to argue and think that they can "bull" their way through sounding like an intellectual. It won't work with God, so they should just be honest with themselves.
352420
Anyone that cuts themself has a deep rooted problem that needs attention.  It is best you help them seek professional help, instead of trying to help them yourself.  Getting them professional help is helping them in a way that it's showing (or should show) them you care about their well being.   Get them to a professional, the problem is too deep for just a common person to help.