Christian Male, love the Lord a lot but need help to overcome sexual addiction--help Me!!?
456556
If you're of age, 1 Corinthians 7 gives you a clear solution: get married.  If you go this route, TREAT YOUR WIFE RIGHT -- sacrificial love is the order of the day (Ephesians 5:22-33).  I'd also recommend Eggerichs' book _Love and Respect_; it will help you get started on the right foot.  Don't worry about finding "the right one" as though God hid your bride-to-be under a rock someplace.  If you need to get married, then find a woman who is (a) a believer, (b) devoted to the Lord, and (c) willing, and get hitched.  Get those three qualifications lined up, treat her right, and she'll take good care of you.  On the other hand, if a marriage of convenience scares you a little bit, then realize that curbing your problem is your only other option.\n\nNow for the tough part: discipline your mind.  If you're getting married, the two of you should study Song of Songs together.  Dillow, _Solomon on Sex_ and Fruchtenbaum, _Biblical Lovemaking_ are great resources for you -- buy them and use them.  Fill your head with biblical truth about sex.  Also, discipline your mind to think about YOUR WIFE when you think about sex.  Cultivate vivid memories of the mindblowing times you've had together.  When some pretty young lady showing too much skin crosses your path and you catch yoursef thinking, "Man I'd love to...," STOP.  Quote relevant Scripture to yourself, and remind yourself (by way of one of those juicy memories) of how God has provided for your sexual needs.  \n\nNow, if you're not getting married, you need to cultivate that kind of discipline anyway.  Just the details are fdifferent. Bad news: you can't resist this temptation on your own.  Clearly you already recognize this.  Good news: You don't have to.  Find the relevant passages in Scripture and keep them in the forefront of your mind -- always.  Write them down on 3x5 cards and carry them around with you.  When you're in line at the bank or the grocery store, take them out and read through them.  Memorize them and recite them to yourself as you drive to work (or walk the halls at school -- I don't know how old you are).  You need to never let yourself be unaware of the truth about that behavior.  Study what Scripture says about it.  You already know it's wrong, so go from there: what are the results of this particular sin?  What is the nature of the sin?  What leads to it?  How do you best avoid it?  What examples does Scripture give you -- who avoided this sin, and what happened?  Who gave in to it, and what happened?  I'd suggest paying particular attention to the writings of Solomon (Proverbs and Ecclesiastes, I mean -- stay away from Song of Songs until you're married, or about to be).  With 600 wives and 300 concubines, he got more than you've ever dreamed about.  Listen to the man -- he knows what he's talking about when he tells you that pleasing God is more important.\nBlessings on you, brother.  Keep the faith; the Lord can get you there.
77199
I've been battling this addiction for years myself.  It is not an easy thing to kick! But coming from someone who's been there let me offer a few suggestions:\n\n1.  Support, don't condemn. What I mean is realize he is acting on very normal impulses, but seeking relief in unhealthy ways. If you make him feel guilty about it, it'll only compound the problem.\n2.  Get him to agree to be held accountable for his actions.  If you are his wife/partner, encourage him to talk to you or someone else he trusts whenever he feels he cannot resist the temptation.\n3.  Get him to seek spiritual help.  I am a born again believer in the Lord Jesus Christ.  It's only by His strength I can and will overcome this addiction!\n4.  Encourage him to take it a day at a time (a minute at a time if necessary).\n5.  If he stumbles, encourage him to confess it, ask forgiveness from God, and get back on the wagon (knowing he's been forgiven).\n6.  NEVER give up on him! And do your best not to allow him to give up on himself.\n\nThere may come a point where there's nothing more that you can do for this man (save pray for him).  If that time comes, don't be afraid to leave him in God's capable, loving hands.  You can't heal him, but God is eager and well able to do just that! I, on my part will endeavor to pray for you and your friend as I'm reminded to do so.  If I can help you further, drop me an email.
233898
Hey I don't really have advice for you as you know from answering my question I have marital problems. BUT.... We did get this book called Rekindling the Romance by a husband and wife team Dennis and Barbara Rainy. It's a real eye opener it is Christian based and I 100% am a believer that the only way to be truly happy in all areas of your lfe is to live by the Bible. Do what it says. Go to church live your life for God. The problem my hubby and I had with this book is how to rekindle something that was never there? I was or I think in love with him at one time but he was always an a** and finally I just decided to deal with now he's different and he regrets everything he has done. Maybe you can help with this one. How do I get over the past? I know I need to get my life right with God that would help 100%. But anyways I am rambling Hope this helps. The link I am gonna leave is the website where you can get this book Click on online store and do a search for the title. I also encourage you check out the info they have I don't know where you live but you should see if they have their radio station near you it really helps me!
566316
HOw will that solve the problem?? Self-control boy!! Don't put yourself in positions where you can easily fall into temptation. If you know that sitting with a certain person alone in a room will cause you to sin, I'd advice u not to do so. If u are extremely tired you wouldn't have bad tempting thoughts, so try having a busy schedule. When temptations come anyway, try to think of anyother thing, such as a school math problem, a project, your schedule tomorrow. However, it ain't easy. If you can't handle it, don't date at all. I've been there, and I've managed to control myselft. Remember IT AIN'T EASY but IT'S POSSIBLE!
721360
Christians are humans and tempted in many ways.  To say a "True Christian" would not have this problem is narrow minded and false.  \n\nThis is a very real problem and I'm not sure that castration would solve it as men have pleasure sensors inside of them as well.  If you are struggling, then you need prayer and a strong support team.  I would try this first rather than going to such drastic measures as castration.  However, it is an interesting concept.  I guess if it remains a "thorn in your side" so to speak, then yes, it would be something to consider.
1054543
Yes, It is a Sin.  It is a sin even if you convince your self that it isn't.  Because you can't lie to yourself or to God.  If you continue to masturbate you will develop a habit and then it will be more difficult to stop.  Do you want to be a slave to sin?  If you are Catholic Go To Confession and keep going until you are free of this.  \nIf you are not Catholic, Still find someone to talk to who will support your efforts to be Chaste.  You can still talk to a priest about it.\n\nWhen the urge hits, Get outside and go for a run.  Burn of stress in a constructive way.  Take up a new hobby or sport.\nEveryone says that everyone is doing it, but you're not everybody.  This is the only life you have and you are being lied to by the media and people who want to defend their own way of life. You don't want to be in the same boat with them because their boat is sinking.   You Know masturbation effects your self esteem in a bad way.  \nYou can refuse to be mastered by sin.  \n\nYou will make better decisions regarding girls and have a better relationship with them.  Then wait until after you are married to have sex.  In this day and age of STD why risk your future happiness with your wife to cheat on her before getting married to her.  Yes it is possible to cheat on someone you haven't even met yet.  \nYou have a sensivity to The Spirit and you know internally when something is off with God's ways even when it may feel good.  It feels bad to go against God And Natural Law.  \nIf you deserve someone so special that she is worth waiting for.  Wait for her.\nThis Link will explain it to you better than I can.\nhttp://www.christusrex.org/www1/CDHN/sixth.html#CHASTITY\n\nIt's not easy to live a life of purity but you can do it and you are worth it.  Now Don't keep beeling bad.  God Loves You and wants  what's best for you.\n\nGod Bless You and Guide you in the way that will bring you true happiness.  ;-)
237853
Jesus loves you. Get a bible and read to know how. Read it even if you don't feel like. That will change your life. Believe me it has changed mine!
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is sex your only road to happiness. That would make sense as to why you have blown it so far out of proportion.\n\nDo you binge drink? I'd start with changing that. Imulsive people are easier lays though. But why do you think demoralizing christians is sexually good? Rape is a power strugle, and the endorphine release of sex reinforces what ever kind of sex you try. While sex as an expression of love makes it an unselfish act. Yet, sex outside of love is only limited by what you try.
368599
i have the same addiction, feel like Kirk Franklin sometimes, and I have a wife. I'm good looking and I just can't keep away from porn. My wife is satisfied with me sexually and physically, if she knew about my addiction she would probably start to feel insecure. I feel the need to "look", no one that knows me will ever guess it, and I am a very outstanding individual in my circle of my city. I want to get professionall help, but I know that it will hit the airwaves. I can feel your pain, if you feel as if it has become a burden to you.
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Hey, you have my name!  J/K, glad to see another believer has my name at least.  My thoughts and prayers for you are that you truly seek God's face during this time.  Getting married will not solve your fiance's situation.  In fact, it might compound it with the newness of marriage and everything sexual involved with it.  I commend him for his want to overcome his situation, and I truly believe he needs to seek Godly counseling through the pastor or another strong believer with experience in these areas.  You, also, should attend counseling.  Don't let co-dependency conform you to "accepting" his addiction because your love is all powerful.  It can happen and that I believe is not God's will.  We should love God first, and our spouse second.  In this be on your face seeking God's will for your life.  Another thing for your fiance to keep in mind is that he doesn't have to prove anything to God, God knows every hair on our heads, I would think he knows what is in the depths of each of our hearts too.  He really has to live a different life daily and dissociate himself from everything to date that has caused his situation.  Counseling, support and accountability are what he needs big time.  Prayers and love =)
416103
hi! heres what i think and what the bible says about your situation:\n\nromans 5:3 3Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4perseverance, character; and character, hope.\n\nGOD doesnt say that once you are a believer, all your problems will be solved. but he assures us that the trials that we go through will help develop our character and molds us to be better christians.\n\n1 peter 4:12-13,16 12Dear friends, do not be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering, as though something strange were happening to you. 13But rejoice that you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed. \n16However, if you suffer as a Christian, do not be ashamed, but praise God that you bear that name. \n\nTHIS just assures us all the more that as christians we will not be freed from problems. and Jesus even encourages us to rejoice when we experience these things in life.\n\n1 Corinthians 10:13 13No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.\n\nTHIS does not only pertain to temptations but also problems and anything in life. it says that God will not give us anything that we cannot carry. but when he knows we cannot do it alone anymore, he will still help us out.\n\nGOD hears your prayers, he hears all our prayers. as ive mentioned, being a child of God doesnt exempt us from having problems. i think the question now is if you trust the Lord that he hears you. the way i see it, maybe the Lord allows these things to make your faith in him stronger and be more trusting in his power over your life. maybe when you pray you just pray without trusting. so maybe you should also evaluate yourself when you pray and speak to God. reading the bible is also important in knowing Gods will for you and how he wants to work in your life.\n\ni hope all this helps you :)
542620
Sweetie, I would LOVE to spend some time chatting with you about all this!  Anyway, when you ask God to come into your life and your heart, just mean it..and you only have to do it once.  There are a few important steps that will help you to follow his guidance.  First, get a Bible you like and understand..and read it (baby steps).  Find a church you like and go regularly..and don't forget the fellowship..it's very important.  Those are the people you lean on in your times of doubt..they will help keep you straight and they will 'feed' you the information and encouragement you need.  The Bible says "Do not forsake the assembling.." (Hebrews 10:25)..which means the fellowship.  Go to Bible study and make Christian friends.  It's a process, but we're all born in and of sin..we will ALWAYS sin, but we repent when we do.  Also, pray for guidance and understanding of His word (Psalms 32:8..I will instruct you and teach you the way you should go; I will counsel you and watch over you..).  And lastly, how do we have a relationship with anybody??  We spend TIME with them...talk to God..often!  Spend some devotional time with him.  Once you really let yourself open up to all of these things, you'll FEEL the difference..and the depression will fall away.  You'll know true peace and happiness.  I speak from experience!  Good luck to you!  IM me if you have any questions!  Praise God!!
678549
Sorry to hear you are struggling with this. Working out can get rid of sexual energy. Pay attention to the music you are listening to and what you are looking at. Speaking from experience these thing helped me and prayer. Don't he ashamed alot of people go through this. You may relapse sometime, see it for what it is and not failure.
115257
I just wanted to encourage you that you are absolutely doing the right thing.Do not worry what others around you say,they have lost the basic moral values of the Lord.Do not pay any attention to there comments because God is with you and is going to reward you for your dedication to purity before marriage.Im so proud of you and you have been such an inspiration to me today.I encourage you to mentor young girls and teach them how not to succomb to the tremendous pressure that we all face to not remain sexually pure.God be with you sister,and carry on the good work.
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look I'm not into by sexuality or anything like that. but I'm human . and religious. god makes no mistakes, its a cross that he has put on you . deal with it in the best way you can  remember , god will love you no matter what , is what you do that counts in his eyes
844513
Real simple: MARRY HER! What you're implying- SEX OUTSIDE MARRIAGE- is called "fornication" by God, which is SIN! You are VERY SELFISH! All you want to do is USE HER for your own gratification! The fact that you say you want to "convince her to go farther" PROVES this! You need to REPENT OF YOUR WICKEDNESS! See yourself as a LOST, GUILTY, HELL DESERVING SINNER! You are guilty of breaking God's law! "Thou shalt not commit adultery". Jesus said that if you "look on a woman to lust after her", you've "committed adultery with her already in your heart." (Matthew 5:27&28). Dude, you are A SLAVE TO YOUR PASSIONS! You are CONSUMED WITH LUST! Sex and all of the wonderful feelings that go with it are GOD GIVEN, and therefore "very good" as He pronounced after He had made Adam and Eve. But they were MARRIED! And that is why they were "naked and not ashamed". I would dare to say that your "girlfriend" is not your FIRST "fling", IS SHE? Are you still A VIRGIN? Even if you are OUTRIGHT, it's obvious you're not IN YOUR HEART! And I can guarantee that you are hooked on PORN, right? That stuff is DEADLY! You fill your mind and heart with ALL SORTS OF FILTH AND PERVERSION AND WICKEDNESS, and then you wonder WHY you have NO CONTROL over your passions! You're a slave to SATAN! The Bible rightly calls the devil "the god of this world". He ALWAYS takes what God has created as good and right and beautiful and perverts it into something very UGLY AND WICKED AND WRONG! That is what SIN is all about! The Bible speaks of "the pleasures of sin FOR A SEASON." You can "go all the way" or "part way", but EITHER WAY, it's still S-I-N!!! And it's basis is PRIDE! Notice how BOTH of those words have the letter "i" in the center! That's your problem: you are SELF CENTERED! You need to REPENT (turn from your sin and yourself) and TRUST IN THE LORD JESUS CHRIST TO SAVE YOU FROM YOUR SINS AND THE WRATH TO COME! One day you will die, and then you'll have to face the inevitable: ACCOUNTABILTY TO YOUR CREATOR FOR EVERY THOUGHT, WORD AND DEED! God loves you, and that's why Jesus Christ died on the cross for you! I beseech you sir: TURN FROM YOUR WICKED, SELF CENTERED WAYS TO CHRIST! And you need to do so TODAY! Tomorrow is too late! (You do NOT know when you'll die, now, DO YOU?) Quit being like so many OTHER guys today: A SELF CENTERED WHOREMONGER! Stop having this SICKENING mentality of just USING GIRLS for your own selfish pleasure! It really IS disgusting how so many guys will just SAY "I love you" to a girl SOLELY so they can "get what they want"! Love is A COMMITMENT! Everything else is LUST! And that is DESTRUCTIVE and ultimately leads to DEATH: Death in your body (STD'S); Death in relationships (resentment, mistrust, disrespect, divorce); Death in eternity (Hell fire for ever!). THINK ABOUT IT, AND TAKE HEED!
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Yes it's sinful, it's called lusting, and yes it's completely human. And because we're human, we're going to sin. I would suggest praying for this guy the next time you start to fantasize. Instead of thinking of him in lusty situations, lift him up in love. And of course you're still going to have desires. But you know what? Jesus did too. And he made it through unscathed. So my advice - just focus on Jesus. And pray for your future spouse. Pray for God to take the desires away. Talk to him about it - because he knows - he's been there. :)