how to get over self conscious,shy behaviour in public?
457154
The best advice I have received was to remind/reassure myself that I have just as much right to be there and be happy as the next person. We are all just people and generally if you smile and greet someone they will reciprocate.\n\nI had a hard time because I thought folks weren't interested in knowing me, but mostly they were just shy too or didnt want to bother me because I seemed distant. \n\nPick a day when you are feeling really good about life in general and just smile and greet people that you pass. You may be surprised how many genuinely appreciate the friendliness and respond kindly.
678856
it's fro shyness, thats normal for alot of people i know i think your skin color is light so try alittle bit of face tan, and be for confident and open with people ! you'll see the changes
937842
Hi maybe join group who do things that you are interested in, that way you will meet and become more outgoing as time passes.\n\nI'm sure there are social groups nearby who hold meetings regularly same thing as you get to know ppl then anxieties will slowly fade.\n\nYou are not alone believe me, many others feels same, it's hard to go up and talk but with alittle practice it will become 2nd nature.\nPpl love talking about themselves so that is a good ice breaker to ask what they like to do in general.\nThen it is easier each time plus you meet plenty of different ppl ,but remember you have to give info also, as is not one way street..best of luck cheers..
1061951
What helped me was someone telling me that shyness is really a form of self-centeredness. If you think about it, people you encounter don't really care even a fraction as much as you do about how you come across. They have their own problems, concerns, etc. to think about. In fact, many of them are probably shy themselves but may be a little bit better at hiding it. \n\nIn group situations, shyness is a form of selfishness. You've got a lot to offer (your unique outlook, life experiences, advice, etc.) and to withhold it from others is selfish. So resolve to share more of what you have instead of keeping it to yourself...thats one way of overcoming it.\n\nOne of my friends joined Toastmasters International. Its an organization with social events in which people take turns giving toasts--its good practice for public speaking, especially when you realize how many people are also nervous and shy about expressing themselves! Similarly, you can sign up for acting/improvisation workshops. You can learn techniques there to get over your self-imposed inhibitions as well as how to be and project an image of being open and outgoing (one tip: learning to listen to others and respond accordingly.)\n\nGood luck!
277161
look away for a second and then look back, try to keep eye contact if you have it, it will help you develop your self consciousness
59369
You have to get out of the negative talk in you head that keeps you feeling self conscious.\n\nThe best way to do this is to do something selflessly for someone else. Go volunteer at a soup kitchen, or at a hospital, put change in someone’s expired meter without them knowing, go volunteer at head start , do at least  3 selfless acts a day, with no concern of how you will benefit and or gain from it and I promise you will begin to feel better about your self. \n\nAlso do something nice for yourself at least once a week, paint you r nails, get a facial, and take a relaxing bath, what ever you like. \n\nThe best way to feel good about your self is to give, give to other, give to yourself, and you will begin to receive all the confidence and self worth that you need and more!!
546122
Have you thought of counselling? That may be the 'easier' road you are looking for. Ultimately though, you will have to talk to others in social events to be able to learn to do it with confidence. Experiencing life like travelling, can be a good way to build your confidence, for the more you know about something, the more you can talk about it with passion.\nGaining a better view of ones self (self esteem) can also come when presented with challenges that one overcomes, so challenge yourself-give yourself tasks that you know are hard, but that you are able to overcome. Do you have a fear of spiders for example? Overcome that and you will certainly want to tell people about it! I did!!\n If you would like to chat more about it, feel free to email me from the link at my avatar and I'll try to help.\n\nbest of luck
144568
Its OK to be shy, so what if it takes you a while to feel comfortable with new people and new situations. In fact, it can even be helpful to be a little shy. When you're shy, you may spend a little extra time observing the scene before jumping right into it. And you're unlikely to talk to strangers, which you shouldn't do anyway!\nLook up - affirmations - they are good for all of us.\nTell someone about this if your depressed and talk to them. A parent, friend, teacher. Good luck to you and don't worry. Friends happen.
45971
Practice. That's the main thing that will help. I have that problem, and it helped me to remind myself that the person I am talking to is just a human - exactly like me... absolutely no more special, and therefore should have no power to make me nervous. Another thing I do that has helped is observe people with really good social abilities. It doesn't exactly make you more calm, but it shows you more options of how to act in situations when talking to people - which over time will make you more confident in yourself as you become more comfortable with the "talents" you've learned.
769038
i have the same problem, yes, just try to relax, and smile a bit, but dont much or you would look awkward
201624
I understand that you are self-conscious of your weight.  I have a very big friend who admits to being very shy herself, but I have noticed that once you get to know her, she is quite self confident in a quiet way.  I notice that she is overweight but that doesn't mean anything - she is my friend and it's her personality and friendship that counts. I remember when I first met her - this big woman who speaks with a booming voice, but even then, I didn't judge her on her looks.  We are very open with each other and discuss our diets and problems - I tend to get lots of flack from her for not eating enough!  Don't worry, there are lots of nice people out there!\nI think there are 2 issues that you can think on in regards to building the appearance of self confidence -which is a starting block which would make you feel better\n1) adjust your posture and stand up straight - it's amazing how that comes across to people; smile; look people in the eye, but you don't have to do that all the time, if you feel uncomfortable, try looking between the eyes, sometimes the ears, look away sometimes;\n 2) wear stuff you feel comfortable in so you don't feel like you are the centre of attention all the time, but also dress it up with something special like a nice piece of jewelery, or an expensive accessory; my friend believes darker colours are more flattering - also looks cool and more classic looking; don't bother to follow fads, since it only looks good on airbrushed anorexic teen models - the majority of women are not like that!  If you are a teen, don't feel bad that you can't wear those sorts of stuff, make your own statement and be proud of it.  If you find wearing skirts or dresses tend to make your thighs chafe, try wearing cotton bikepants underneath.\nAs for the socialising:\nI am very shy myself, and used to have lots of problems with talking to people; I get all panicky with sweat running down my back, butterflies in stomach and practically everywhere else, and not being able to say anything.  If you can, arrange to go with someone so you can at least stand with that person initially.  Then if you both agree, you can circulate individually; try not to hang onto anyone for too long.  To settle butterflies in stomach: practice abdominal breathing (you can find this in stress help books, or yoga books or on the net).\nI have gotten over most of the outward shyness, particularly when I am by myself at gatherings.  If I want to talk to someone, I think: I don't care what that person thinks of me, I'm just going to be me, and then make light conversation.  Chances are, I won't ever see the person again, so it doesn't matter if I sound silly!  I know I always get tongue tied, so I try to think of appropriate topics of conversation before I go to any function eg wedding, conference, birthday, etc. Topics eg weather, bestseller books, something to do with that particular function, the food quality; try to be positive, I try not to complain too much, but if it's bad, I keep quiet.  Try to remember to not laugh to loudly (I sometimes forget!) don't spend all your time doing one thing, don't hog the conversation, and don't be tempted to hide in the toilet, although it is a good place to calm down if you are feeling too stressed.   What ever you do, don't talk about sensitive stuff, like politics or eg slander the groom's sister :) or ask too personal questions. Don't be afraid of admitting you know little about a particular thing, but if you show interest, people are flattered into telling you more about it.  Don't fake things - you will find it very hard to keep track of the things you made up, and you will worry about it too much.  Use open ended questions to keep the conversation going - not just yes or no questions.  And you don't need to always concentrate on trying to think up questions; remember to listen to the other person.  For more topics, y
309476
Take a critical look at what makes you clam up. Is it speaking in front of other people? If so, try some public speaking clubs like Toastmasters. Is it that you think people are judging you and you're embarassed? Think about the things that you feel most induce your public panic attacks and deal with those issues. Without more information on why you get like that, I can only generalize, because there can be a lot of reasons for your public embarassment.
73746
Hi there,\n\nHere are a couple of websites that give you some tips on how to overcome shyness: \n\nhttp://www.romanceclass.com/miscr/howto/shyness/index.asp\nhttp://www.shakeyourshyness.com/
231964
If you want to get rid of your shyness by doing it online... the best way would probably be to use Yahoo Voice and interact with others... rather than typing.
447686
I found drama really helped me get over my shyness.  If you're in highshcool take a drama class.  If you're out of highschool, look into a theatre company and audition.  Even if you don't make it, the simple fact that you auditioned infront of -people- will slowly help you
202881
Shyness is all in the mind. I should know... I'm a shy type of person myself. An people think that I'm a snob because of this. The best thing to do is develop self-confidence and try to mingle with people. Just always remember that we are all born equal... So you don't have to be shy in front of a stranger because we are all human beings dwelling in this world. And whenever you found yourself being shy, try to think that you are not. Remember, what you think about yourself reflects... Smile!
1013433
It sound like you have a fear of public speaking, even in small groups.  It is very common and nothing to be worried about.  If you would like to work on it, force yourself to start up conversations with strangers you come into contact with.  If you want to get real bold and see real improvement, check into taking a public speaking class or acting class.  Even if you feel like your embarressed all the time in those classes, they will give you the practice you need to overcome your fear.  Most public speakers will tell you that they have a little fear all the time even if they seem totally confident on the outside.