Got dumped when I left for being stationed overseas...I'll be gone for over a year...will I ever get over it?
462910
of course.. find a gal overseas.. ;) hehe
1006254
I'd really discourage you moving just to be near him. As you said, he'll likely be deployed soon and then you'd be left there by yourself. Since you aren't married you would have limited support and access to base resources. If it is meant to be, your relationship will survive this. If not...at least you will be moving forward in your career.\n\nGood luck.
381449
So sorry for what you are going through... She should have remembered her vows and stood strong for you while you are away.  If someone vows to love, honor, and cherish you until death and they try to find someone else while you're away, you are better off without her.  I know it will hurt and in time you will hopefully heal and find a great woman. Good luck to you.
466018
it depends on you, as a former Navy man i can tell you that it's not easy when the husband/boyfriend is deployed for months at a time, i've also seen the cheating on both ends (her at home and him in the field).....your relationship has to be strong or it's not going to work, and even then there is always a chance that one of you will stray when the strain gets to be unbearable
769613
As a Vietnam Veteran, I understand how you feel. I doubt that you will get over it, but you have to learn how to deal with it. My thanks to my Canadian brothers.
341582
As time goes on you will heal, don't let the thought of a man bring you down, remember this to shall pass. You had a decision to make and you made it, good for you, you left before it got any worse. Give yourself enough time to realize what you really want out of life, when the time comes and the right person comes along you will just know that you did the right thing. Right now your just looking for a rebound b/c your not used to being alone anymore, try it you just might find out that you like it that way.Good Luck.
811600
My husband has been to Iraq twice, the first time for 15 months and the second for 10. He leaves again next summer for another year. The thing that helps me the most is being around other military spouses and families, because they know what I am going through (and don't ask annoying questions like "how do you do it" or "what would you do if he died" or say things like "I could never do that, it must be so hard waiting on him.") I know that being around military families may not be an option since you may not live in the town with him. The first deployment we weren't married yet and I lived in a non-military area. It was different but I was able to find a couple of people (reservists wives, etc) that were going through the same thing. If you can't find someone to hang out with, try an online support group, Yahoo Groups has a lot of them for military girlfriends/fiancees.I also do my best to stay busy, which for me has meant going to school full time. I am graduating soon, and I am planning on doing a lot of volunteer work and staying home with our baby on this next deployment. Anything that will keep you busy and keep your mind off of it as much as possible is a good thing. I also recommend writing to him as much as you can, every day if possible. I like to tell him about my day and "talk" about the kind of stuff we'd talk about if he were home for dinner. That way I don't feel like he's missed out on a whole year of my life. Mail - letters, pictures, packages - are always appreciated when they are deployed. \n\nI know it sucks, but after he has been gone for a little bit you will get into a routine. You will also learn what works for you and what doesn't. I found that the second deployment was easier because it wasn't such a new experience and it was easier for me to get into my "deployment routine." I have also found that if you wake up and tell yourself that it's going to be a good day, and don't allow yourself to do otherwise, you will feel a lot better. Good luck with his deployment and know that everything will be ok because you love each other. When he gets home all the pain and sadness will be worth it, I promise!
46878
I can't say for sure what you should do. I don't think anyone should stay in a relationship they aren't ready to give %100 for. But I will say this. If he is still in training, WAIT UNTIL HE GRADUATES! I'm speaking from personal experience here. When I went through basic, one of the guys in my platoon was not coping well with the experience. The drill sergeants were riding him pretty hard and he seemed depressed all the time. One day he got a Dear John letter from home, that coupled with the high-stress environment was enough to push him over the edge. He shot himself in the head two days later on the 9mm range. If you do decide to end it, wait until he graduates basic and comes home on leave. If he is feeling suicidal when he gets to his unit, he is much more likely to get help than if he is in basic.
262805
Get over it.  I have been there.  Not worth the pain.\n\nGo out of your way to avoid being where she is, find someone else, and enjoy life.
1129541
If you want to get out, the best way is to go to the chaplain on base. The chaplain is your best hope. Speak with him about being attracted to your fellow officers (yes, in a gay way!), that you find you feel this way often, don't know what to do about it, your'e really confused, etc. Also, if you had any recreational drug use in your past, now is the time to mention it, and that you just don't feel you made the right choice in joining the military., etc. The chaplain was the first person I spoke with before I got out. If you are already on base, he will be your best resource. Whatever you do, just make sure you don't go overboard (sounding like a total nutjob will get you some serious time in the psychiatric ward, where no one will be able to contact you, you will have no contact with the outside world, and godknows what could happen to you.) \n   Failing a drug test is also a way to get booted quick, but think, think about your future. Do what you can to get an honorable discharge, or a medical discharge, having a dishonorable discharge is almost like having a prison record.\n  Accidentally shooting yourself in the foot might do it, but save that for a last resort. Also, do not try to committ any crime to get out. The only thing/place worse than a military psyche ward is military prison.\n          Good luck- I truly wish you the best. If none of my advice works, I would suggest bookin' it to Canada or Mexico until this frigging war is over. \n                                  Love, Joan
363616
I can truly say that i have been there.  I chose the one that was leaving to the army for 4 years and he cheated on me 2 times.  he has been back for 1 year and although i have a hard time trusting him, we are together and are happy so far.  You just have to think whether or not you want to go thru with it and forgive if it happens or if you think you deserve better.  Good luck
1164490
well youve definatly just gotten through one of the hardest parts of your relationship so just keep reminding yourself of how great its going to be when he comes back. I'm sure that the one month you have left will fly by.
560693
Feeling trapped is a common reason for re-enlistment. But that's also pretty much a commitment to be a lifer. You've got a family to support.  Is his carreer going well?  If he's got something that will hold him back (NJP's, weight/physical problems) from picking up Staff with in the 12 year time frame, do you want to invest that much time in the military only to be denied reinlistment down the road?  Does he have job skills that can help him in the civilian world?  It's not as scary as it seems, but when you are used to guaranteed pay and health benefits it's intimidating.  This is something you two need to decide for yourselves, since you know your situation better than any of us.  But don't be afraid of change, if you decide to get out.  And if you stay in, just make sure your career is on the right track and you'll keep moving up.
431034
No, to be honest, nothing you can do, my hubby's in the army been gone for four months and won't be home till January of 2007....and my heart aches everyday and I still haven't found a way to stop it..sorry, God bless
205670
i'm sorry sweety but you can't repair it. you just have to move on. i know how you feel. i've been borken hearted and i'm fine now. you'll be fine.
528555
I was married for a year when my husband was deployed to Iraq for a year.  I know alot of women go home to stay with family but I stayed at our duty station.  My advice would be get involved with alot of activities (FRG, spouses clubs,volunteer for daycare programs, etc), work alot and find a few close friends.  My husband came  home for two weeks RnR after 6 months of deployment. The time went by alot faster than I thought it would.  Good luck to you.
152360
Yours is a tough descision. I went through the same thing when I was in the service. I left as soon as I could and when I was offered a job in the government I ran ,lol. I have been working for myself pretty much since then. To be true to yourself and not conform more than your soul can take is what you have to find out. I wish you good luck and patience.