how to get rid from the idea of making love whilst you are alone?
465281
In order to counter any time you are feeling depressed you should always look to what is good in your life. For instance, you may be alone right now but that will probably change. You have your health and you also have a certain freedom that people in relationships do not have.\n\nAfter my divorce I found myself living alone. On that first night I had a party for myself, played loud music all night, and enjoyed cooking myself a meal and planning the weekend. I did things that I had never done before and went to places I had never been.\n\nYou can take comfort in your friends and family and utilize ways of making other friends, on-line and in the real world.\n\nUltimately, the opposite sex will be attracted to someone who smiles at life.
680801
Go to a nudist colony for a week.\n\nYou'll meet a lot of new people, some who may be very nice and could become close to you.\n\nBut with your one night stand, you will get nothing from it, other than possibly AIDS or Gonorrhea.
869097
If you truly couldn't wait, you would have gone out and done it :)\nIn your heart of hearts, you obviously want to wait until there is someone special in your life, and that is a good thing!\nCelebrate the fact that when you make love, it will be that - making love.  And not some cheap one night of sex which would leave you feeling worse.\nI know it must be very frustrating, but I think you are craving having someone special to spend time with more than you are craving 'sex'.\nThere are many people, male and female, who make the desicion to wait until they meet someone special until they have sex.  I didn't wait, and I do regret it.  Meaningless sex leaves alot of people unfulfilled - it left me feeling worse than I felt before.  This might happen to you too - often you can feel worthless and you self confidence drops after a one night stand.\nDo you really want your first time to be with 'just some random girl'?  Would it not be more special to wait until you find someone you truly care for who cares for you?\nI hope its not coming across like I'm telling you that you have to wait - if you really want to just have sex then you can do that - I just want to let you know that some of who did that wish we had waited.\nI don't know if you would actually be able to change how you feel - you are 24 so you are a grown man who knows his own mind, and it is likely that deep down you know you would be happier waiting.  I hope you don't feel presuriesed in to having sex - I've known a lot of people who has presuriesed mates 'jokingly' only for it to come out later that they themselves hadn't had sex and weren't comfortable with that fact, and were just trying to shift attention.  Mates have a way of making us feel small for taking the sensible route sometimes.\nYou made a positive descion to wait, and I think it would be best for you to stick to that descision.\nIf you've yet to meet anyone special - get out and meet more people.  Make new friends - the more people you know, the more chance you have of meeting someone who you click with.\nGood luck, I hope you can make the right descision for YOU!\n\nEditted to add:\nThe only way you can 'control' yourself is to think things through and look deep inside yourself so you know what is the right descision to make.  Only you can decide wether or not to wait, so if you find yourself feeling like you might be tempted to just go out and get laid, take a step back for a couple of minutes, and ask yourself if that is what you really want.  Listen to your heart and your mind, and remember that purely physical urges will pass, but the negative feelings you may have if you have an unfulfuilling sexual encouter can last a lot longer.\nHope this helps.
1073612
Don't think I'm trying to be philosophical, but I compare your question to a Roman Candle. At first it light up and is very bright and beautiful. Then it just fades away. Sex without love can be the same way. At first it can be exciting, great, fantastic and just great. But eventually, without love it will end. Either boredom, jealousy or another person will take your place. Have fun while it lasts, but at least know that its only a matter of time until its over. If you can live with that, then more power to you.\n\nTX Guy
1126581
Go out with friends and keep your mind busy. The last thing you want to do is be alone.
541325
Distance yourself. You won't want to, but staying close to someone you want but can't have just isn't healthy. Don't tell the person or anyone close to them what you are doing, as they might try to convince you otherwise. Just try to get away for a while. You don't have to cut the person off completely (although that is an option). Don't call him/her, don't go places where you know he/she frequents, and make yourself scarce. Take the time to reflect on your situation and learn more about yourself. \nDate. While you are distancing yourself from said object of affection, try to date people that you like. Don't settle for whoever asks you out, or you might end up making someone fall in love with you who you don't love back! Approach people, try new things. You might want to compare everyone to the object of your affection, and you won't think anyone measures up. Stop this right now. You know there's someone better out there. Go find him or her!
131866
I perfectly understand, and it is not a matter of the year we live on. I know for experience that this can be really hard to manage but you have to realize that the reason why you are not going to have sex is by choice, not prohibition, if you think you are missing something or have such a hurry but dont want to get "punished" or loose privelegies, you have to sit and make a self exam where you can settle the reason. M********* i dont recommend, you'll feel guilty, do some work, exercise, read, get out of bed when you feel like doing it, find out the facts that make you urge... hope this helps
79567
*experiment with a different position.\n\n*do it in a new place (the living room, the kitchen, the garden, under the moon)\n\n*make the foreplay laaaaassssstttt a loooonnnggg time. :D
1105962
You may never get the 'flame' back, but you can definitely stoke the embers and have a nice hot bed of coals!!  Plan surprises... meals in your bedroom spread out on the bed, with foods that lend themselves to play ; pineapple, grapes, honey, whipped cream, chocolate sauce, etc...  or try dating again. If you have kids, shuffle them off to a neighbor or relative for the weekend,  and just have fun together. Play tourists and see your own town like you don't live there. Go out to eat at a restaurant you've never been to before. See a show, or just take a nice, slow walk together. BE together like you used to be when you didn't have kids or a busy life. Try some new lingerie. Make him a basket with new stuff  for the two of you to try together, like warming gels for massages, and toys to try if you are into that. Make a game with your egg timer and some homemade cards; have six small piles of homemade cards that have things on them such as "massage your partners back for 3 minutes" and may go up to any position or act you like. Put the easier, lighter stuff into pile one, and go up to pile six, which will have your "hottest" stuff in it. Roll one dice, and whatever number it lands on, choose a card from that pile and do what it says. Then it's the other persons turn.  The only rule is you CAN'T make love! ( We always end up making love anyway, coz you just can't stand it, but it's fun trying!)    The point is to spend quality time together, and just have fun again!  The rest should all fall right into place!  Good luck!
537878
finding a new partner, going out and meeting new people. try not to cooped up in the house. it takes time but u will move on! we all do! see it as a blessing in disguise, whatever u do, do not call that person. good luck!!
29093
silent treatment and no sex
555567
if possible: have sex often.\nby the time you will lose your fantasies. \n\nif not possible or not working: contact an adviser.\n\nthere´s always a reason for unexpected or unwanted fantasies (or repeating dreams about that).
713967
Try to find things other than sex to work on...put your mind off sex. While you're obviously still going to have a high sex drive, it will help if you don't constantly think about it.
199808
The thing to remember here is that you are NOT ready but to not kid yourself and think that you can control yourself. You can't. Once you have armed yourself with that knowledge, you will also need to face the fact that the other person might be ready and will be trying to pressure you (no matter how understanding he or she will still pounce if given the chance).\nNow, one of the ways to deal with not being in the face of temptation is to be extra paranoid and find out exactly where, when and with whom the two of you will be going out with. If it is just the two of you, then make sure it is to a crowded and well-lighted place. Another good diversion is to suggest sporty outings; go play tennis or bowling, make it a good workout and hopefully both of you will be too tired to think about sex. If you not sporty, then even a few competitive sessions of mini golf or a couple rounds of pool might help do the trick.\nRemember, ONLY when you are ready.\nHope that helps and good luck.
450357
Sexuality i.e. being horny makes you more dynamic, active, so if you keep wasting your sexual energy on playing with yourself you end up to be a lethargic passive loser. It's better to get a playmate than playing by yourself. I might be wrong, too.
612518
find a dominatrix.  You won't have that fantasy for long.
222076
You've only hit the tip of the iceberg.  Try playing strip checkers and chess.  Write out a wonderful sexual fantasy on a slip of paper and have your lover do the same.  Fold the papers, and keep them under wraps for now.  Play the game, and whoever wins gets his or her fantasy played out first.  Whoever loses, gets his or her fantasy played out second.  It's a win-win love making experience.  \n\nAlso try putting whipped cream underwear on each other and licking it off.\n\nStart with A of the alphabet, and kiss a body part of your lover that begins with A.  Then have your lover kiss a body part of yours that begins with B, and continue down the alphabet.  See if you get all the way through.  If you can't think of anything starting with the letter, make something silly up!  It's a new kind of spelling bee to do with your honey!\n\nAlso, use blindfolds and make love without looking at each other--just touch.  Use roses and feathers, and other sensual items to enhance the experience.]\n\nWhen you make love, focus your orgasmic energy on a specific goal you both share, or a dream you would like to come true.  Then you are practicing sex magic!  It's a lot hotter than regular sex.\n\nJust keep the fun, silliness, love, and creativity in whatever you do!