I'm about to become a grandmother, this is my daughter's first, I'm getting very, very nervous. She's 32? Why
457679
Anxiety that it will all go well. You have been through it before, she hasn't, so you worry about how she will cope.\n\nYou are both identifying with her (empathising with her) as though you were her, and worrying about her, because she is not you, and you feel protective towards her, at the same time. These emotions tug in different directions.\n\nThe risk of giving birth to a Down's Syndrome baby starts to increase after 35. Is this at the back of your head?
3065
My mom had me when she was almost 43; I am perfectly normal.  However, my mom also just died in April, & I have to agree with the previous answer in regard to thinking into the future.  My children had their grandma for too short a time, but they enjoyed every moment spent with her to the fullest.  My parents also adopted my brother as a baby when my mom was 49.  She kept up with everything just fine.  Good luck.
724397
You would probably want to tell your daughter that losing a family member is hard and difficult especially if they are very close, but being a good friend and show that you are a good friend is always a good route. She needs to understand that losing someone take time to settle in their life, that losing someone like a grandmother is hard and very unsettling, so it will not be quite normal for  a while. Tell your daughter to help her friend as much as friend could. For instance when my grand mother past away, all I wanted was to remember her and never forget her. So we did things she always liked when I was a child. ex: Polished her silver ware, planted flowers to remind me that she was always there. (built a photo frame for her picture) and painted rocks that had our names on it! It is good to remind them of all the good things that they did together. And tell her it will be hard and tuff, but if she feels like crying that she should always let it out and not be afraid too. It was hard as a child to lose a grandmother, but she's still very young at mind to understand all of it! May be this would help!
717826
That's stupid.  At 70 she has had enough tests.  Perhaps you may get a pleasant surprise and they may just go soft on her.  I am definitely for the test for someone who is of working age but 70...that's just a waste of resources.\n\nPerhaps you could devise a simple test for her of common American questions and answers, etc.  Make it fun and make sure she is comfortable while this is happening.  Make it a bit of a game so she isn't threatened by it.  She probably can still learn some things.  Make up some que cards with pics, etc.  \n\nPS: If your whole family turns up to immigration they may realise she has a big family and lots of support which could help her.\n\nGood luck anyway.
1001027
just be there for her. it is hard seeing our grandparents bedridden and weak. talk with her. my grandmother lived until she was 98 (my dad mother). don't listen to the first answer. that is a nasty thing to say to anyone. my grandmother would tell me stories about when she was a little girl and tell me things when I was younger. let her tell you things about when she was young. they are things you would never forget. remember grandma did not have a tv or radio or bathrooms in the house. we have color tv and radio and indoor bathrooms. and another thing kiss her and hug her and let her know you love her.
1022042
You have to keep in mind if their are children involved they will always be the first priority.  You should never expect a parent to choose you over their kids. In-laws I'm a bit shaky on. But you are  not the only person w/this kind of anxiety.
282618
Well what ages are you . if you are both of age sometimes mothers can be over protective . You might need to try to win her over and show her how much you care for her daughter .
880077
just be yourself.  if you feel she is anxious - ask her if she would like to go for a walk with you and your baby.  it will get her out of the house and away from all the company, which could very well relax her.  she's probably anxious around people and if you act relax she'll feel this and like being around you -- so don't be nervous that will only feed on her anxiety. calm down, enjoy your husband's family and have a good time. don't worry. happy thanksgiving (early, of course).
185458
It is clear that she is going to fast.  Maybe the two of you should spend a little time by yourself for awhile.  See other people and see how your feelings sort themselves out after another period of 62 years.
1012304
Please read this all the way through, my heart is with you. I have two boys 10 and 6 that did the same thing (flushing). Charging 10 cents every time I found the bowl full stopped my problem. But your daughter seems like she has hit rebellion already. My 6 year old became very sore and he learned his lesson at 4 about wiping. But with your daughter "dirty down there" is not going to work. She's 10 not 4, don't patronize her, think back to when you were 10. Let's face it we were all picking up info from friends about sex. You 3 parents have to get together as a group and realize she is not a child she is a young lady/woman. Lectures and threats are not going to work anymore. She needs to start making her own decisions, educated decisions. Talk to a gynecologist get facts about what could happen if she doesn't clean up her act. Pictures if necessary, of what these diseases can do to her body. She could pick up staf infection just to name one, and wind up in the hospital. (My husband being a fire fighter had a call at one time about a woman with an upset stomach. She wasn't a wiper either her whole body smelt of crap. When they got her to the hospital because no one wanted to check between her legs (which was where the real discomfort was) they found her vagina was infested, stuffed with maggots.)Please do everything in your power to educate her in a way that will help her to help herself make the right choices. Also is she happy with herself, looks, school, and friends. These are all very important to her right now. If she doesn't have it yet soon she will be starting her cycle. You think you have problems now, wait. This is the summer of change for your family. Make it that way, help her, she needs you all just to hear her, and realize she is not a little girl, or even a big girl, she is a young lady/woman. A new hair style, a light colored eyeshadow if not wearing makeup, a few new clothes, you might want to rethink the panty thing. Is she wearing panties that make her feel like a young lady/woman, or is she wearing widebottomed, widesided diaperwear. Help her to feel different about herself. Chin up, no one ever said this parent thing was easy, but think of the good times, keep an open mind, and email me if you need to. We have all been there in one way or another.
399761
Do we guess that you're the father then?  Good luck, and good for you for doing it on your own!\n\nI'm sure you get the basics, but perhaps you should get a book for you to read, so that when she has questions, you can be prepared to answer them - my guess is that you weren't given the whole story on what happens to girls.\n\nThere are also a lot of books out there that could be good for her to read, at least to get the conversation started, and give her a basis of knowledge to build on.  \n\nYou don't mention how old she is, but I would recommend that she get the basic lesson by about age 10.  I know it seems young, but it's not necessarily uncommon for girls to start menstruating by 10 or 11.\n\nMy biggest recommendation is to always be honest, and always be willing to talk with her about the difficult stuff.  When my daughter was young, I actually took her with my to my annual exam...She knew that it made me a bit uncomfortable, and she really appreciated that I would do this for her even though it was a little weird.  That went a long way into our future, in allowing her to feel safe asking questions even if the subject matter was no fun.\n\nI might also recommend finding a trustworthy female adult for her to connect with.  Sometimes this is Grandma, or an aunt, or even a neighbor you're close with.  Alternately, Big Brothers Big Sisters is a great organization that connects kids with caring adults...As an addition to your excellent parenting, another grown-up to talk to can sometimes be a good thing.
369397
That's a really tough question. I know in my grandmother's case she absolutely refused to have anyone do anything for her no matter how exhausted and/or hurt she was from doing things on her own. She was an extremely stubborn woman. We couldn't force her into accepting the help but she eventually got it whether she liked it or not. As it turned out it had devastated her to even the need the help. She was a very proud woman who had raised all eight of her children on her own. She couldn't ask and yet didn't have a problem refusing. She did come around though and realized it wasn't so bad afterall although not without many complaints as to how we weren't doing things correctly. I guess I'm saying if you're mother is hurting help her anyway but do it in such a way that it doesn't invade her privacy or stomp on her pride. It's hard getting older and needing things you didn't need before. Be patient with her. Good luck I hope it all works out. I have to admit I wasn't much help.
193038
Mabey he could just be nervous about having his first child. Hes becoming a father, and hes at that point in life that he has to become more mature and care for a new life. He could be acting like this also because hes nervous and unsure if he is going to be a good father to the child or not. If not for this reason he could be having some other personal reasons. You should talk to him and see whats up girl.\n\nGood luck and Congrats on your pregnancy!!
453625
lol you think you are young i am the sister of a woman who had a daughter at the bright age of 13 and I am not lying or joking when i tell you that her own daughter who is now 14 just had a son and that makes my sister a 27 year old grandmother
1067320
Congraduation's!! Grandpa. You don't need any body by your side. It's natural. It's great. I'm a Grandma 7 time's. My grandkid's call me Grandizzle!! I have to go it alone,because my hubby,of 34 years,passed away 3 year's ago. But be happy! My grandkid's are the reason I got this far. With your kind of cool thinking,I'm sure there's a Lady out there for you. Hang in,Grandpa!!
683572
Because she is 18 and graduating,I'll bet when you restrict or pressure her,she will end up moving out and either shacking or marrying the 26 year old year old with children or want to.She is not old enough to make it comfortably on her own so she would most likely live with someone else.She will then have herself a ready made family that may or may not work out. You are doing her no favor paying "her"cell phone bill.When I was that age I had strict parents.Every child in our house had chores.We were never charged rent,but was expected to do chores to help out,it was not fair to our parents for them to do all the work when they feed us and gave us a home for as long as we wanted.If you did not follow their curfew and respect their home,then you had to move out. We worked a summer job and when we graduated were expected to work a full time job.If I made any kind of bill,I paid it,they did not.That is not being cruel,that's making me responsible.You are the step parent,so if I were you,I would leave it up to her father(her blood parent)to talk to her.If you try to,she may look at you and say "I don't have to listen to you,you are not my mother".So,for your feelings,let the father have a one on one talk with his daughter.Tell him to explain to her what he seeing her getting into and how it is going to be in reality such as:In the relationship with the 26 year old she will be a mother(step-mom)to another women's children,depending on how active the 26 year old man is, may end  up baby sitting while he's out doing whatever,may end up pregnant by this man and have even another child.Sit her down,don't be mad,just explain to her that yes this is her life and if "she" ends up with the 26 year old,her life is over as she know's it.It will be her burden to carry,not yours.Ask her to think about all the freedoms she has now and how she feels about losing all that at such an early age.You know how real life is and you only want the best for her.Now is the time to talk to her and get her to realize exactly what kind of life she is going to have if she ends up with this man.Don't be mad when you talk to her,just be very honest.Then do not cater to her irresponsibility.Let her pay her bills and live her life.Like my parent's told me,go out and make your bed hard if you want and you,not I will sleep in it.They said if you get into trouble,"you" will have to figure out how to get out of it.I thought my parents were mean,but I realized how much they loved me,some of their advice I didn't listen to,I wished I had.She is graduating and will be an adult somewhat.You have to let her make choices for herself.If she decides on a life of misery,there is not much you or your husband can do to stop her.Give her the best advice you can and stand by your word when you say she is on her own.She will find out really fast that life is not fair,things are exspensive,life is hard,that she had it so good and didn't know it and most of all she will quicklly learn she does not know everything and possibly that you were right.
1015138
Just keep listening and being there for her.  You sound like a great daughter :)