question on child custody?
465268
you need to go straight to a lawyer. I live in Australia so i don't know the laws where you are perhaps living. But you could go to social services or child welfare and tell them that you now have care of the child that your husband has legal rights to. Those rights would also have obligations on his behalf. I don't know how old the child is but asking what they want is a good start and then seek all the professional advice that you have to to resolve this. This child like all children must have love and stability. Going back and forth to dad when it suits him could have long term effects on this child. You never mentioned under what circumstances he was awarded custody. I have to take you at your word as i don't know you but if you love your child and feel that they will be better of with you and you can provide for their needs, all of them, challenge the ruling and do what is right for the child. Someone professional to help your child through all these confusing times and transitions is probably a good idea. Good luck to you and i hope the little one gets through this turmoil with as little scarring as possible. Looks like that's up to you.
936328
Yep, I agree with the above poster.  My papers read pretty much the same here in NY.  Joint custody means that you both have equal rights when it comes to major decisions, school records, medical records, etc..  The primary physical placement is telling anyone who needs to know (schools, law enforcement, etc) that he LIVES with you and VISITS with father. Basically that you are the custodial parent.  According to my lawyer that physical custody pretty much gives me 51% of the decision making in case of a major disagreement.  And our mediator agrees.. It means that I have to listen to his side and fully weigh it before making any major decisions for our 2 daughters (doctor's, therapists, schools, camps,  and so forth).  Your best bet may be to contact a lawyer (many have free consultations) to neatly define both of your rights.  Best of luck to you
640684
I need to know what area of child custody law you are seeking in both states.
1114657
You need to go to the court house family division and file for a court date.  Then contact a lawyer and they will file for temporary custody of the kids  till the judge decides what is best for them. The lawyer should be covered by legal aid especially if there is no income.  Tell her to get a job even if it's through a temporary agency for the time being, it will help keep her mind off of it, and will also show the judge that she is able to support the kids. Tell her to put the utilities in her name to establish a credit rating.  The cops will not go after him for the kids until she has it in place that temporary custody is hers. They don't consider it kidnapping since he is the father. Tell her to call children's services in her area and let them know of his problems and what has occurred they can help in getting the children back.  Been in the same situation so if you need more help just contact me.
331339
Your right this situation is very hard on kids! When both parents have dual physical custody it's usually because one parent doesn't want to pay child support, so they fight for joint physical custody. The kids aren't thriving in this environment because it offers no stability. The rules and expectations change from house to house! Have your friend talk to a professional at her local courthouse (they offer free legal advice). If the kids are in school and are having any problems, she needs to get the school and district involved. Another option is having the children see a therapist/play therapist to work out their frustrations with their living situation. Therapists are great advocates to have! In the meantime continue to support your friend and listen when she needs to talk. Tell your friend I said good luck!
315198
I have shared custody with my exhusband with our sons.  I can tell you right now that as long as he pays child support and its in their court papers she will have to let him visit with his kids.  She cannot deny his rights no matter how much she wants to.  There is a thing he needs to know about called father's rights.  There is an organization for the rights of fathers.  With my situation my exhusband shares custody and we have always talked about it with our kids because they are involved with this too.  There is something he can do too because i could not keep my exhusband from seeing his sons.  Of course now he chooses not to see his sons because of his retarded alcoholic girlfriend.  Sometimes if you step back and let things happen the way they do it works out better than what you think.  The more he argues with her the worse off she will become.  My advice do like i did let the courts handle it dont fight the decision and let things take its course.  Also keep in mind that since he is still married and he is living with you that can count against him.  I hate to say that but its true.  She can hold that against him in court.  I know about all of this my exhusband was not allowed to live with his girlfriend until after our divorce.  In the divorce is where all things should be stipulated and rules set forth.  If he pays childsupport she will have to let him visit with his sons no matter what.  Don't let it stress you to the point it gets out of hand she is using the kids as stomping ground for him.  She is mad because he has decided to move on without her see what i mean?  After awhile things will work itself out.  I promise on that one.
320015
I'm not a lawyer but I have 23yrs of law enforcement experience. You really didn't give enough info for me to say. It depends on many factors; such as what were terms of your divorce, why he hasn't been in kids' lives, financial support, his reason for sudden interest and any claims he's making to help him gain custody, any personal problems or negative actions by either of you,etc. Assuming you were awarded custody originally and there were not and are not now any extenuating circumstances that drastically change the original status of his behvior/situation or yours or the children and he basicly just decided he wants custody chances are slim the court would change the managing conservator status you hold unless he can show you to be an unfit mother. He might be able to negotiate visitation rights but doubtful the court would disrupt the children's lives without just cause.
1121690
I doubt that incident will make a judge decide to give you custody.\nIt helps your case that he didn't see her. I doubt he'll even go to jail, but I don't have the details I need to make that decision. You are right not to expect too much. The DA will make a decision as to whether this matter will be brought to court. It sounds like you kept your part of the order when you sent your daughter to visit him. Did you know that your son would not be allowed? Did you send your son knowing that your x would not allow that? I am not trying to be dispectful, but am trying to point out possiblies. If you can afford it, hire an attorney to help  you with the matter.
587820
It would be unfair to make such an assessment without knowing more including "his" version. To make it simple yes he can gain custody. Peeping issue was he convicted? Like I said no one can truthfully give you a good answer as none of us know your situation
767576
Having custody means the children reside with someone else, that person is responsible in making all the decisions for the children and do not need to consult with the parents, even though the parents may still have their parental rights.  HOWEVER, if those children are left in the custody of whoever it is for a lengthy period of time, a judge may use his/her own discretion in allowing the parental rights to be taken away and the children be allowed to be adopted by the custodial parents.  \n\nEvery situation is different honey and if these are your children we are talking about, make the changes the courts are requiring you to make.  When you think you've done enough, do some more.  These are your children and you need to do right by them...before it's too late...because you can lose your parental rights in a situation like this VERY easily.  I've seen it happen alot.
388998
Take the bit*h to court, that way if you get partial custody and visitation rights, she cant sue you for child support.  You'll be suprised how fathers have rights these days to help them see their children.
525773
I am sorry to hear about your situation. I was in a similar situation 7 years ago but her father was actually convicted of molesting a young girl in town and he was sent to jail so i have sole custody of her. But I do know from working with troubled kids that there are supervised visits you can ask for where the visits are in a safe location with a member of social services or another agency like that present during the visit. It may be an option for you to look into and i hope everything works out.
1003718
I know exactly what you're talking about.  My mother and I got custody of my nephew after my sister screwed up.  He was taken from her, we had a choice: foster home or with us.  I think its completely ridiculous to not put your child with family, that's her support system.  You can talk with the social worker.  Most social service departments (Department of Children and Families, Child Protective Services, Department of Children Society, etc.)  their goal is reunification with the natural birth mother.  We wanted to help my sister get him back until she started abusing drugs and alcohol again and married an abusive and violent piece of crap.  Now we are struggling to keep him far from that, and they are pushing for him to go back, even after her 3 DUI's and domestic violence charges in the last 3 years.  Every state is different, but hopefully someone at CPS can help you and you can start on the road to recovery and 'prove' yourself and follow the case plan.  Unless they terminate your parental rights, you always have the right to petition the court for replacement.  I wish you the best of luck!!!
113182
usually its both till one of you go and get custody. but in the meantime if one or the other leaves and takes the child with him/her nothing can be done if no custody is awarded because legally that person has the right. possession being 9/10 of the law
18133
You need to have a job which could support you and the child, and file for the childs custody through the court. \n\nYou will need to prove that you are fit to keep the child and have overcome the problem  because of which they took the child away in  the first place.
766434
If during the divorce he won full legal and physical custody, he shouldn't get arrested for getting the children. He has physical custody and she is the one that's taken them. Try child protective services or after he has all the paper work stating that he has 100% physical custody go back to the police station because then she could be charged with kidnapping. Good luck.
909545
The family court judge will do the following... if he's any good.\n\nTaking into account that the judges first and foremost objective is the care and well being of the child(ren).  Therefore, what has happened in the past does not play into what is to happen going forward.  The past doesn't pay for nor should it take away from the child that needs support.  So...\n\nThe judge should ignore the tax problem and the guy shouldn't bring it up as a debt he has to pay.\nThe judge will base his decision based on the Non-Costodial parents wages and/or potential wages.  Thus based on the number of kids there will be a set max percentage that can be asseted.  If the custodial parents ability to fully support the child financially, then the judge will most like award the maximum amount.\n\nDuring this process, the non-custodial parent has the right lay out the income and expenses they have and ask the Custondial Parent to do the same in an attempt to lower the amount of Child support to a level the JUDGE can deem as fair to the CHILD.\n\nIn my case, the after the judge looked at all the debts I got and the cost of my house note and the amount of money and number of kids (3), he looked at me.. assested the support amount and then said, "But I really don't know how you are going to make that amount and keep your home."\n\nSo.. it's about the kids.  Period.  Not that it's wrong, it's just the way it is.  The fact your friend hasn't paid Taxes in years is not a factor the judge will probaly consider nor does he want to hear about it as he would prefer the man be out of jail and working to support the child.. then in jail and the state support them.\n\nHope this helps!\n\nOh... he better have an attorney and he better tell them everything!