my wife had affair with my female co worker ikeep saying I'm here for my sons but i don't trust her do i stay
471529
You've said it yourself...you don't trust her...did you know that she was bi? The main thing in this is that you ARE there for your boys...there are six basics for a good relationship...\nTrust\nLove\nHonesty\nComprise\nRespect\nConsideration\nIf you have any of these you can save your relationship but if you haven't well leave but just be there for your boys....
524060
Leave her alone, let your son and future daughter in law get on with their lives. If she is having an affair, that is really your son's problem. If he's asked for you to snoop, then tell him that one should never marry a person they cant trust.
1098499
Dude - you did it now. You have to come clean with her, and your wife, and you may lose both of them by doing so. Honesty is the best policy. This gal should already understand your situation, or you should already be separated from the wife.\n\nYou've got some backpedaling to do, and it won't be pretty....
994552
everyone here is bashing the wife. we don't know for certain that she has cheated on him. i don't think she has. how many of us been hurt by a boyfriend or husband who has cheated on us. it sounds like that she forgive him and he done it again and again for his own reasons. right now she is hurt and mad and she feels betrayed by you. sounds like you really hurt her and her world is turn up side down and their is children involved then maybe she trying to figure how to handle this but i think there is more to this story then you are telling. if you love her so much why did cheat on her again and again and now u want forgiveness and win her love back. was you thinking about her when you was cheating on her? did you think of how she would feel when she found out? she doesn't feel good about her self right now and you caused that. now you feel insecure. maybe right now she feels insecure about herself and maybe she is trying to figure out where she went wrong in this and I'm pretty sure you blame her for all of your affairs right? give her time she is going through a lot right now. sounds like she was a very good wife to u and u throw it all away for some one night stands or relationships. I'm not trying to hurt your feelings but she has every right to be mad and upset.
1184536
Talk to her, apologize.\nHope she'll have you back.  You may have to work at it.\nWomen don't trust men like you, better be prepared to prove you'll behave this time.\n& don't ever make the same silly Mistake again.
345242
if you cant trust her you gotta bounce dude. seriously, if you stay with her your paranoia will eat at you until you drive each other apart, even if she isnt doing anything. chill out about it and trust her, or walk away.
449605
I feel sorry for you and your wife. The male hormones forces you to think from your .... Well it's too late to ask why you couldn't stay faithful, so I would suggest that you get counseling. Also stay away from friends who push you into adultery. One thing I can tell it will take a long time for both of you to get over. It will always be there, but marriages have survived and thrived on worse. Take care and hope things resolve.
115447
It is human nature not to trust someone that has hurt you that bad.   It is hard to work through that pain,  You will never trust each other like you did before.  Realize that and accept the fact you both have cheated.\n\nNow you need to move beyond it.  Forget trust, and stop worrying.  Concentrate on the reasons that you both want to stay together.  Rebuild your relationship on thse reasons.  If it's for the kids, make the kids the center of your life.  If it's because you still love each other, concentrate on that.  \n\nNow go to counselling.
661867
Although I believe a child's place is with his mother, this woman doesn't deserve to have children. If I were you I would try to get full custody of the child. It is clear she will always use your son as a financial benefit for her not your son.Your son is a blessing for you, to bad for her if she can't see it. Get rid of that scumbag and devote yourself to give your child all the love that is obvious your wife can't give him.
981595
sorry to hear that both of you started the relationship on deceptive terms.  she's being a hipocrit.  and I know you say you love her, but why would you want to be with someone that has cheated and lies.  trust is the foundation of any relationship, without that you have nothing.  you will be in the relationship always having questions about this that or the other.  to much stress and not being happy.  keep looking for something better.  good luck
384860
It sounds like your children are already adults. Although I disagree with you having an affair while you are still married, it sounds like you have already made the decision to get a divorce. If you are going to divorce your wife, I'd advise you to put your relationship with your Ethiopian lover on hold until it is final. If your love for each other is true then it can withstand the test of time and you won't be cheating on your wife. \n\nI pray that you will do the right thing by your wife. She's spent the last 23 years caring for you and your children, being a loving wife and mother. You owe her a debt of gratitude for that. She doesn't deserve you sneaking around behind her back.
93181
If you can prove she cheated (talk to a lawyer first), then she may already have broken your contract by having the affair, depending on the wording you agreed to.  Good luck. Too bad you didn't marry someone with ethics to begin with.
521304
Richard, I realize that you are upset and losing sleep, but you've got to simply stop posting the same question over and over and let people answer it.  Otherwise, you'll just get a lot of stupid answers from people who just want to get easy points.  Also, if you are really sure, and I mean SURE, not just suspicious about your wife lying to you and you feel she was with another man, perhaps this is not a match made in heaven and you should consider other avenues.  Like a trial separation.  Or marriage counseling.  Divorce is always an option, but as a last resort (unless you know in your heart you are in a truly loser relationship as I once was 16 years ago and made a hasty exit).  Again, try to relax and let your answer get some good responses and give some more details about why you believe she is lying to you.
374584
You need to back off and give your partner some space. He/she may decide that it is definitely over but it is their choice not yours you had the affair. You can't rebuild trust by playing games or taking quizzes on the internet. Try to be the best parent you can to your kids.
688115
Take a break. You've been betrayed. \nGo away for a little while, maybe, but this one is going to take some time, if ever.\nStop imagining that she was having sex like she does with you.\nDon't do that to yourself, because I guarantee it wasn't. Only the two of you have sex like the two of you.\nCan you handle the answer if you ask her to give you a blow- by-blow description of the night? A sort of "putting yourself in her shoes" for the night?\nIt's risky, but if you can listen, It just may benefit you so you can be angry, and then move on either way.\nShe should be ashamed of herself, and getting angry at her once and blasting her does not relieve her of the tremendous weight she's put on you.\nYou may never be able to trust her again. That sucks for you, because you had no part in it, and want things the way they were.\nWas there a problem that wasn't being addressed before this night?\nDoes anyone have their head buried in the sand??\nYou may need to take this time to get right into each others brains and decided what each of you REALLY wants out of life.\nPlease don't make the same mistake she did. You'll hate yourself.\nI can say that it is not the worst thing that can happen, but it is way up there.\nShe betrayed you, plain and simple. maybe she should live without you for a while and the two of you can really see where you're at. get yourself some legal assistance so you don't lose touch with your child.
673501
I feel sorry for you.My advice is, identify the reason why she did it,also ask your self I am faithful and am I the person who she feels comfortable and secure?After you answer these questions, you can decide.If there is any weakness on your side,(I am not talking about the sexual thing) you better forgive her from the bottom of your heart and leave peacefully.
879508
Face it, she's porking your so-called friend. Normally if a woman cheats on a man it's because he's a jerk. Clean up your act. Take responsibility for your own faults and work on them. Assuming there are no children in the mix, move on. If there are children, fight for your marriage and kids.