Should I leave a relationship of five years behind to finish my education or should I stay?
463989
I know this has to be a tough decision for you.  You have a lot invested in this relationship.  I don't know how old you are, but five years and helping someone quit drugs are big investments of time and emotion.\n\nHere's the thing.  He's too dependent.  Not only on you, but apparently on his mother.  That overdependence means that if you stay in the relationship, you will always be responsible for taking care of him and he will blame you if his life doesn't turn out like he wants.\n\nHis overdependence also means that he can't think of what's best for you.  Going to school would be best for you, but he fears losing you.  That's not really love.  When you love someone, you want what's best for them.\n\nI know it seems unloving to leave him to go back to school, but it may be the wake up call he needs.  As long as he has you to depend on, he may never grow up and get the help he needs.  By going to school and moving on with your life, you'll show him that it can be done.\n\nI hope you take your mom up on her offer.  You become like the people you surround yourself with.  It doesn't sound like  you are around people you want to become like now.\n\nWhat I would hate is for you to wake up five years down the road and find that your life is not substancially better than it is now, when in that same five years you could have an education and turn things around for yourself.\n\nI wish you all the best.
984904
Yes and no. Many things can happen in 4 years but if you two love eachother that much to wait then go ahead. you only live one life
403531
Either take a break from your education and go with him OR keep your relationship open if you guys would mutually agree to that.\n\nOr, if its really a serious relationship - you will go through the two years.
244870
University should be your choice because it will give you a foundation that you can rely on for the rest of your life.  If your boyfriend really loves you then he will still be there when you finish school.
660850
Go back to school, and don't look back. If you can't afford to go full-time, do your crappy job during the day and take night or weekend classes. Don't let it discourage you that it may take a few years - would you rather have a new career five years from now or be stuck in your same field five years from now? Good luck, hon.
636891
I am a single mother of two kids, ages 13 and 14, and i go to college full time.  I just ended a relationship with my boyfriend because he said i didnt havent time for him. He was always bitching so i fired him.  Anyway, i can see where you are coming from.  I talk to someone who lives far away, and i seem to feel like i have known this person forever.  He is really great!  Although, i do seem to have feelings for him, but i really dont think that will work out because of the distance between us.  If he lived closer, and to be honest, with everything that is going on with me now, im not ready for another relationship. Maybe when i get out of school, but for now, just me and my kids and my school work.  Of course, the kids come before everthing.  Anyway, not sure how to give u a straight up answer.  It could go either way.  Good luck with school. I think its great that your doing all that.  Im not working right now and going crazy with it all but i will graduate in December of this year and it will be all worth it!  What ever u do, dont let a relationship come before your son and your schoolwork.  You are working hard at a brighter future for u and your son.  You can do it!  You dont need a man to take care of you or your son. Does the guy live close by?  Anyway, I think it is possible to love someone you never met, but is it wise?  It seems kind of scary, but i wouldnt get my hopes up.  You have to be aware of the possible dangers, even if you talk to him all the time, doesnt mean that you truly know him.  Watch yourself, for u and your son.  We have some real sickos out here.  Anyway, good luck with school and dont give up.  I cant tell u how many times i wanted to give up.  Just watch yourself.  Bye for now!
332447
There's nothing about being selfish in this situation you're being reasonable. You can let this new guy know where you stand and let him know that you need sometime to sort through things in your life before getting back into another relationship. At the end of the if he wants to start another relationship with someone else you guys can still be friends and move on from there. On the other hand, if he wants to wait for you then you know he's in deed a really good guy. With my friendship/relationship I've been with my boyfriend for a 1.5 years and we were in the same state but then I went out of state to complete a Masters' degree and to be fair I gave him the option of being with someone else if someone else came along before I came back to MI to be with him. I did that because either one of us has never had a long distance relationship, so I didn't want to make him feel that he is "tied to me" while i'm out of state at Graduate school. The "separation" didn't happen we ended up still being together and when I came back to MI to visit him the love was there as if I was always there with him. So good things happen if its suppose to happen that way. Good luck and I wish you all the best.
26764
Everything seems fine, Just remember you have 4 more years of life expierence than she does. So you'll have to respect that. \n\nLet her finish school before doing anything that might change your lifes.\n\nGood luck
353368
No reason why not. \n\nIt will take about 5 years.\n\nIf that is what you really want to do, go for it.
523584
My high school sweetheart and I got married about 4 months ago. I gradutaed in 2001, so we waited so we could make sure that we did what we wanted in life and also make sure that we truly wanted to be together and spend a life together. People change when they get out of high school, and especially if they are going to college. I would wait until the college years are over, because you never know what the future holds, and if you both make it during these years and nothing tears you apart, then go for it, the wait is worth the anticipation. Good Luck, and I hope you the best.
970900
If you have to ask the question, then you intuition is telling you to go. After a long-term relationshp (and especially as we grow older), many people become fearful of stepping back into the dating world again. However, you are cheating yourself if you stay in a relationship where you are not perfectly happy. There are millions of people in the world, so odds are IN YOUR FAVOR of finding someone better. While you are in that transition phase, work on your own charcter and personal development so that your life will become richer. In that case, you will probably not notice time going by as fast as it does before you meet someone else.
960608
For a while after I got my B.A. (in English Lit) I felt like I would have been about the same as I ended up, at least economically.  I did learn a lot of cool stuff though...  \n\nAfter 5 years, I went back to school for my Master's degree, which I couldn't have done without getting my B.A.  Now I'm in a much better situation than I could have been without going to college ( I make about 3 times what I was making when I finished undergrad), and I do what interests me.\n\nSo at this point, I'd say it was definitely worthwhile to stay in school.
111835
no one can answer this question but you...and your boyfriend.  Dont be in a rush...get married for the right reasons. Education is far more important than marriage....in my opinion. get your education then get married.
141527
Marriage isn't going to be a magic carpet ride. Wait on the vows. You are both too young. Maintain the relationship, pursue your goals, education whatnot,maybe even live together in a couple of years unless that goes against your beliefs. There is no rush. Besides somewhere between your middle twenties and early thirties your both going to change how you view things, trust me on this. It is better to wait and see if you are still compatible in several years rather than go through the heartbreak of a divorce and possibly have young children that would be dissappointed. It may in the end work out. I know of a couple that has been together since their preteens, now in thier fifties, and still happy. Believe it, it's true! But they only got married after they attended college and secured their positions in the work force.
720876
Honestly, i think if a 4 year engagement is ok with her, then it would be acceptable.  It really only matters what you two think, and if she is ok with that, then it shouldn't be a big deal.  Personally I wouldn't want to be engaged that long, but its all personal preference for the couple involved.  However, I am just wondering, what is the big deal if you would get married before you are done with medical school?  Are you two living together now?  If you are then it shouldn't be that different than if you were to get married before you're done with school.  If you are living in separate residences or are living in separate towns, then I understand not wanting to marry her and deal with the stress of adapting to married life and having to deal with medical school. \n\nCongratulations on your decision to marry the woman you love and with medical school!  Those are two very exciting events!!!!!!
92204
Difficult to say, I was in the same situation. I have been with the same guy since I was 15. I won't deny that it has had its drawbacks and that the first few years were real tough...young love always is. Everyone told me it was stupid and it wasn't enough to stop me but it did manage to fill my head with doubts. It's been 10 years a lot has changed, most of it for the best. It would have been easier to not involve myself with something so intense so young but the right choice isn't always easiest. A good rule of thumb don't stop moving forward as an individual. meaning don't let this relationship run your life. Go to college and start your life, you'll feel much worse if this all falls apart and you have sacrificed more then just time. Really only you can decide whats too much for you. Can you fulfill your other obligations in life...if so then I see no harm.
609500
Well... both of you are still pretty young.  You obviously have a pretty good idea of what you want in life.  Although, your boyfriend sounds like he's not quite ready to settle down.  From a guy's perspective, I'd have to tell you that this is a common thing at that age.  Believe it or not there's a period in our lives that we don't quite have a clear idea of what we want in life.  The part time handling of responsibility during school is something that is pretty easy to deal with currently versus the full time responsibility of being out in the real world fending out for yourself.  My advice to both of you is enjoy college life while you can and at the same time take care of business as in your education.  That's going to factor in quite a bit when you start looking for jobs.  If your boyfriend truly loves you, when you both get done with school, his focus might narrow a little bit more on what he wants out of life.  At that point it's probably a good time for both of you to evaluate the relationship.  Don't beat yourself up over-thinking this situation.  To answer your final question, I don't think you're wasting your time.  Someday you might reminisce of how great of a time you both had during college when you're both old and gray.