Where do parents get the nerve of gettting when being reject by the offspring they never accepted?
470620
Because they have feelings, too.
160913
When parents behave this way or try to impose their dreams on their children it is because they are emotionally immature.  Age regardless.  \n\nThey feel inadaquate and hope to relive their lives through their kids.  What the parents need is to move on and encourage their kids to be individuals, productive and healthy emotionally.  \n\nSometimes parents need therapy.  Being biologically old enough to produce offspring doesn't mean they are capable of dealing with their own issues, let alone the issues that arise as their children grow.
470145
Write to them....chances are they are curious about you as well. \nYes, it is going to be emotional for all of you. \nGo in to it knowing that you face rejection. \nI am not trying to be mean, just honest. \nI found my father when I was 23 years old... and I went to him with the mind set of I would like to know who you are, but I can accept it if you don't want to know me.\nAt least you are sparing your children the fear of rejection.\nBe prepared to answer alot of questions, I am sure they will come. \nBut, to begin with, enjoy the happiness of finally knowing where they are. \nGood Luck to you.\nAS for now or June... I say now, a lot can happen between now and June, and you don't want to lose the chance.
276328
Because they are absolutely terrified of the consequences.. no matter what they may be: rejection, taking a step forward, vulnerability, responsibility, love.. etc!!
292498
parenting and children are a strange thing.  yes sometimes children, "reject" their parents but this isnt always the case.  many people still love, and keep in touch with their parents.  it just depends on how you raise them.  PLEASE if you do have kids...tell you how much you love them...dont get bored with them and definately do not just let them do whatever they feel like.  it is hard, but in the end when they decide which nursing home you go to, you will realize it was worth it:)
932664
I feel you pal! But not everybody hates you. It just seems like that. Look around you, there are certain to be other kids who also feel they are hated. Make friends with them. Rejects never reject rejects. I say this as a former high school reject...
610073
Well its not right to force anyone for anything but just look it like this our parents do so many thing for our hapiness which they dont want to do so we kind of force them aswell and if once in a while they ask us for something i think we shouldnt turn them down just try to be there for them much as you can it will give you inner beauty and alot of blessing in life.I think if you can keep your parents happy you will end up being happy or else your kids will do the same with you and i know you wouldnt like that.so yea go on and try to enjoy it if you can.
909621
We fear rejection simply because no matter how much we've accomplished in life, whatever our stature in life is, we all long to be accepted.\n\nIt is one of the fundamental truths.
780557
I had a abusive childhood to, my father abused me, even now after 20 years sometimes it still hurts so much, bruses can be seen and heal but scars on the inside remain - they maybe hidden but remain for life. I think when you have been hurt and rejected by a parent it hurts so much because it's not meant to happen, your parents are meant to be the ones that love, support, care for, and protect you no matter what, they are the ones that made you! the fact that they are the ones hurting you is so confussing and wrong. Sometimes even now, i feel why me?  after my father, my mother became ill and rejected me, i had no other family or friends.\n My father contacted me again when i was 18, to confirm that he could find me where ever i was, and to remind me that the abuse was all my fault!, as i was "such a horriable child"! I know this wasnt the case, i was seen and not heard, to scared to be noticed, I went on to marry someone at 17 who was the same as my father, after 11 years of abuse from him too, i had a breakdown, he visited me in hospital just the once while i was on suicide watch to tell me to "go ahead as your useless and unwanted" i had hit rock bottom, so i decided to fight, fight against all the people that told me i was nothing, it has been hard, lonely, frightening sometimes, and like i said you have moments when you feel that twang of pain and desparation, dont dwell on it, they were the bad ones not you. turn your back and walk away, The hardest thing i find is with my little boy, knowing not only does he not have a grandfather,but his father repeated the rejection and fear that happened to me as a child, and that was something i didnt want. Now however, 2 years later i am married again, to the most wonderful man ever, there is happiness out there, but you need to take the chance to believe you deserve it, and fight for it. I dont think i will ever feel perfect, but i know my son and i have the right to happiness, Counselling has helped me alot to, so much so i am on my way to becoming a counsellor myself, Try talking to your doctor to, years of people telling you your nothing takes it toll, antidepressants can help give you that little bit of clear thinking that you need to escape. In answer to your question: Nothing, your human, alot more human than those who hurt you.Good luck
592171
because they're afraid they'll get rejected for who they really are.
205040
You are suffering from rejection in my opinion. What did this doctor say was going on? It sounds like you wanted your parents attention and didn't receive it based on what you have written.\n\n Perhaps you had other siblings that demanded their attention, or they just ignored you. I had the same problem. It wasn't until I was 29 years old and got counseling that I understood what I was doing. I went through an exercise in forgiveness and was able to move on in that area of my life. It has never been a problem since.
948008
No one likes to be told no, but it is a sign of maturity when you can control yourself and realize you cant have everything you want. Your choices in life are to stay a child your entire life and throw tantrums and have people look at you like youre retarded.....or grow up and start acting like part of a mature society.
988851
I agree with you.  If a parent (mother or father) uses the child to get to the other parent the child will only end up resenting that parent.  I am a single parent and I do not do this.  I will admit that it is difficult not to talk bad about the other parent at time.  I do my best to let my children make their own opinions of their father.  If I need to say something against him I make sure they are not in the room.  My ex husband badmouthed his ex wife in front of his kids daily.  They did not turn against her but against him.  We all need to be careful and thoughtful of our children.  They need to come first - not ourselves or our revenge. \nGood point to make with this question.
820246
the only one that has to accept you--is YOU!!  remember, carpi deium! sieze the day!  besides what is the worst that can happen?  I used to be shy myself, now I get out there and try, come to think of it, I would not have my wonderful kids if I stayed shy\nalso, (just a thought)\nfind a councelor or confidaunt to talk out these feeling with and help you release the fears burned into your mind.  I have PTSD from sevier abuse as a teen,  I know what it is like to suffer a trama that scars the mind as well as the body, and I see my councelor regularly.  there is no shame in such things.
1123669
I dont think we can know how each individual arrived at their point of homosexuality. I wonder myself, but I guess there are causes and choices.\n\nMaybe it's different for everyone, and there are lots of causes that sometimes converge, like biology and choice and upbringing. Theres no doubt you can choose to try it, but some people will be more predisposed than others for whoever knows what reason?\n\nSome theorists think that having a rejecting parent of, interestingly, the opposite sex, can cause problems with accepting own sexuality. \nIf this happens then an individual can try to gain their parents acceptance by rejecting their own sexuality which they are just becoming aware of as well as their parents sexual identity. The anger and humilitation the child feels at rejection is turned inward towards the percived cause of that rejection, their own differing sexual identity. The child misses out on the process of learning to accept their sexual identity because they percieve they are not acceptible as they are.\n\nOther that that, I think people have isolated a supposed "gay gene" that may be involved.\nTheres probably lot of reasons including just wanting to try everything which is kind of daft and might lead you to places you really dont want to be! \nlike in the arms of your best friend! Either way I think there is an element of freewill for some people but not for others.
390344
Moms and dads are the hardest to convince, cause they're always overprotective. Try living up to their expectations for a while, sooner or later they will give you your second chance, but don't waste it then cause it might be the last one.
369397
That's a really tough question. I know in my grandmother's case she absolutely refused to have anyone do anything for her no matter how exhausted and/or hurt she was from doing things on her own. She was an extremely stubborn woman. We couldn't force her into accepting the help but she eventually got it whether she liked it or not. As it turned out it had devastated her to even the need the help. She was a very proud woman who had raised all eight of her children on her own. She couldn't ask and yet didn't have a problem refusing. She did come around though and realized it wasn't so bad afterall although not without many complaints as to how we weren't doing things correctly. I guess I'm saying if you're mother is hurting help her anyway but do it in such a way that it doesn't invade her privacy or stomp on her pride. It's hard getting older and needing things you didn't need before. Be patient with her. Good luck I hope it all works out. I have to admit I wasn't much help.