My BF has said he wants to marry me, but not until my 17 yr old son moves on with his life.?
456092
no when he found out that you had a son he was supposed to accept everything about what might happen with him that is something that a lot of people don't realize , when you get serious with someone you atre telling them that you accept all of thier flaws and anything else that may arise in the relationship.
784833
Oh wow. This is completely a showing of the future if you two get married! Talk about tied to the apron strings. His parents are absolutely controlling him and he obviously doesn't want to end it. Is he living with them still? Maybe he has separation issues. Clingy to his parents...or feels like he has to obey because hes living there...\nOuch. Tread carefully here, cuz if he's 24 and still obeying, after marriage he's gonna be still obeying.
57978
OK, hon. First of all, you don't need to prove your love to him. No matter what anybody says. No matter who you date, they will never be good enough for mommy and daddy. (Unless they pick the person) Second, don't focus so much on love. Give it time. I don't know how old you are, and personally I don't consider it an issue. If you focus on love, you will be heartbroken if things don't work out. I'm not saying set your standards low. I am not saying don't love this person. What I am saying is spend time with him. Enjoy the relationship. Don't get married young. And for gods sake don't get married without first living with the person. People seem VERY different when you have to share space with them. Trust me about that one. Don't rush. True love doesn't need a wedding band. If you love someone, being with that person should be enough. Sex is nice, but even that isn't necessary. The company of your significant other is all that is necessary. If you two love each other than that is all that matters. Marriage and sex are over rated. (Sex is nice, but still over rated) If you love him then your parents will eventually come to the realization that he is sticking around. They will either come to accept it, or they will disown you. I know this. I have been married. I was only 19. I told my parents the day before. At first they accused me of being crazy. They made some pretty insulting comments, and I told them to go fuck themselves. They learned to accept my wife and even grew to like her. You are your own person. Heres a motto that my stepfather taught me. "If you don't fuck me, feed me, or pay my bills......Go fuck yourself!" Your family is an important part of your life, but you didn't choose them. You were born with them. You couldn't change who they were. Your boyfriend is somebody that you chose to bring into your life. Your parents should respect your decisions. And if they think you are a fool for being with him...... remind them of who taught you. What examples did you have to follow. They are the 2 biggest influences in your life. Whether you know it or not. Everything that you have witnessed from them as a child has molded you to be the person that you are today. Everything from not enough hugs to the overprotectiveness. They have made you who you are. If they are unhappy with that, then they should try to do a better job next time.
1156251
Having a ring on your finger doesn't mean anything if he doesn't want to marry you than you can keep that ring on your finger for the next decade! You just said that your too young to marry than why should you worry yourself for having a ring? All that matter is that he is loving you and your relationship is healthy!! Why do you want to leave a guy whom you call great and loving!! Do not put this 4 yrs of relationship down the drain do not make that mistake than you may regret it later!!! Give him time he probably wants to make himself secure enough financially and career wise before to ask your hand in marriage!! And if its really bothering you than you should sit down with him and have a nice talk get it out of your system you will feel much better!!
565587
i see that you want to have a more stable relationship and i don't blame u for that. \ni also wanted to marry when i was 17 and my bf 25. but we needed our parents' consent and they didn't agree. i have to tell you that now (when i'm 22) i realize that i'd have done a great mistake by marrying the guy then. i've met a lot of guys ever since and even though 'he' seemed to me the charming prince at that time, i realized that there were other guys much better than him.\nnow i don't even think about marriage, i want to enjoy life, cause all my life i'll be married. \nit's hard to be married i'm telling u. and you'll soon get bored of it and it's not like something you can give up like that. it concerns the rest of your life.
606493
First of all, religious differences are a major concern. If his religion forbids marrying out, you won't have a happy marriage as far as his parents go... Take that into SERIOUS consideration.\n\nNow the way he treats you, I mean, I know you love him but he really doesn't seem that interested in you. Why would he want to wait for five years? He thinks his parents will somehow approve of you in five years and now they just can't see the situation clearly?\n\nSend me a private message if you want to discuss this further. Just give this some really serious thought, marriage is forever and the last thing you need is a divorce a few months after getting married AFTER waiting years and years!
33176
I met my wife at 22.  but I told her I wasnt getting married till I was 30.  she broke me at 28.  I knew I wanted to get married and I new she was the one, so there was no need to wait any longer.  But I have to admit, I wasnt ready one day before I came to that realization.  My best advice to you, would be to express to him in a loving way, how much it means to you.  Ya know, subtle hints...and lots of um.  \nNo nagging, No whining.  He will either get sick of you talking about it and give in, or he will get sick of you talking about it and leave you.  Either way it just depends on what you want out of life.
1050485
What ur daugther says seems logical.The reason behind her asking this may be her insecurity once u enter into another relationship.And as far as the person who has given u the proposal may not want to jeopardise this relationship with u for this reason . As the old saying goes the greater the distance more the love.But also make it a point to discuss this issue with his youngest son in order to avoid trouble on a later date . GoodLuck.
12614
It's great that you've found someone who treats your son the way all kids should be treated but the bottom line is, if your wish for him is to grow into a healthy, well-adjusted young man, it will be the relationship he's seen between his mother and this man that she apparently doesn't really  love (at least, not the deep, committed,trusting kind that "good" marriages should have.) \nNEVER marry a man just for the kids sake.  It should be because you know that you have found your soulmate and that to spend the rest of your life without them, would not be living at all!!
307369
He wants to make sure that everyone knows that you are WAY off the market.  He has made a very small commitment, but if your not planning on marrying him I would cut and run.  He sounds somewhat controlling, but it could just be that ya'll are young and tenatious.
895274
Honey, I don't know how old you are, but I am 18 years old and engaged... my fiance is in the marines, and we are away from each other a lot! I know that it is extremely hard and he's all I think about also.  We plan on our wedding being in october of 2007, because I need to finish my first year of college so I can transfer to a college where we will be living until his enlistment is over (which will be in about 3 years.)and he's also going through additional training in the marine corps, so we both have to wait until next fall. I know that it is hard, but if you love him then you need to tell yourself to do good in school and not fall behind, so you can have a good future with him.  It's hard not to day dream, and it's fun to do it sometimes, just don't allow yourself to do it all of the time. Everything will work out and that year will be over before you know it, so just hang in there.
1157527
You can push... but pushing for "the ring you want" might push him away.  Not only are you pressuring him for marriage, but you're also pressuring him for an expensive ring.  Unless he sh*ts money, thats a huge issue.  I understand people might grow up with a dream wedding or dream ring or even dream of by what age they would get married (ie: a life plan... married by 22, kids by 24...etc) ...but if you really truly love this man and feel he is for you... than you should understand sometimes, those visions we had before have to be adjusted/sacraficed a little bit to fit with HIS visions.  There are two people in this relationship.  What if he didn't imagine getting married by his age? And you'll find out in the end the $20,000 Tiffany's ring or getting married by age 24 or having a boy first, than a girl... doesn't really matter.  It won't make the marriage perfect/last which is what matters most right?  And if getting "the ring you want" is simply THAT important, understand you might have to wait for him to put some money together, but express your feelings so that you aren't disappointed and will hold it against him.  Men are not psychic believe it or not :-)
81301
It is going to be hard since the two of you are now apart.  Sounds like you are a little unsure about the stability of your relationship.  If you want things to slow down, tell him. Marriage is something that you take slowly to ensure the success of it. You don't want three years from now to end up in divorce... or cheating. take a deep breath and talk to him about the situation.  Maybe you will realize that the two of you are ready, or perhaps the two of you will make the mature decision to take things slowly!  6 months is not very long to be getting engaged!
221997
Why do you want to marry this person?  If you're planning on marrying so some man will support you, he's obviously not dependable for that.  If you are ambitious on your own you will move to where you can find work or get training to find work, and then you probably won't appreciate him trying to mooch off of you.  \n\nSomeone who is 34 and educated or trained and trying to live off someone else is way too immature to get married.  He may be a charming and loving boyfriend but someone who acts like an adolescent at 34 will make for a totally miserable marriage.  You've got a major problem on your hands.
716784
It sounds like your relationship is great but one thing that worried me - you said you were worried his family wouldn't like you - you should meet them first, and make sure he meets yours first.  \n\nWhen I first started reading your post I had my doubts, BUT \nI don't think the age difference matters in your case.  In some it does, but your relationship does seem more mature.  People always think I am too young also.  I'm 19 and getting married next summer too.  I love this man and he is my best friend and my life partner.  We've been together since I was in middle school and we've grown up together and are still growing together.  I think it's amazing to find a love like this when you are so young.  Don't worry about what everyone else thinks - count your blessings that you have something that some people NEVER find.  \n\nJust be sure you have the same goals, and plans for the future.  For example, in a few years you are going to want a son or daughter with him also.  I am sure you love his son like your own but the time will come when it will drive you crazy that he is not your own and you need to make sure he will be willing to have more children.
330356
I'm in the middle. You do have to think about your future and your goals. But then he is your love. If you say that you know your gonna end up with each other, then don't worry, things will work out at the end for both of you. Plus, if  you say he loves you then he'll want you to be happy no matter what decision you choose.
327100
Sounds like he wants you to be his mother.  I would just go seperate ways.  Good luck.