how do you get an ex-husband to move on , while staying on good terms?
459055
The best way to help your ex get on with his life is by getting on with your life. Show him that there's life after divorce, and happiness. Be courteous, but not over-friendly. Discuss what needs discussion, like the kids, or whatever, then have places to go, and things to do...don't spend time in useless dialogue. Also, as far as property goes, settle that as soon as possible. If you and he have no possible reconciliation, no need to spend a lot of time together. Move on!
22576
You could do something that reminds him of a time that both of you were loving each other.  If that does not work, you have to accept that people change and have to move on.
355883
he is a ex for a reason. keep him an ex and move on
390443
If he's going through a divorce his feelings are still very raw, it's okay to be his friend, but I would hold off on anything else until he works through his feelings. It may take a while, after all, he's losing the woman he thought he'd spent the rest off his life with. Do you really want to be the "rebound" girl in this situation?
456109
be calmly persistent.  My husband was and we have been together for 11 years.  Just be there for her/ be a friend first
369767
Read the Break-up Book.  It is from the author of "He's just not that into you".  It helps you to set reasonable boundries in order to move on with your life without him.  In the meantime, asuming you are keeping the baby, begin speaking to a lawyer so you can get child support arranged before the baby comes.  Don't let this guy off the hook, it is his responsibility too.
500699
Yeah...it sounds familiar ...I have an ex who tried the same...basically you have to set boundaries as it's not appropriate for him to visit you given his feelings and the fact that you're committed to another man. Tell him to use the phone or mail to communicate but don't expect him to go away -it's been 18 years since my ex has been doing this but as he's basically harmless I haven't really cared. The important thing is -is your ex harmless? Or is he someone who may act on his obsession? Finally I want to say -be sure you're not sending mixed signals...I've seen too many women not be clear about their wishes only to whine or press charges later when it's their fault for not being direct in the first place! Be honest with him and tell him to scram! There's my advice...I hope you take it! Edit~ I got your mail....If you hate him as you say AND HE HAS 'HURT YOU SO BAD' then why are you putting up with him then? Get a restraining order! Call the police and file a complaint and ask them to tell him to stay away! I thought maybe you still liked him on some level but since that's not the case you need to be pro active! Don't sit here on yahoo talking about it-do something about it -and I mean right now-today! Make sure you don't regret not doing anything!!!!!!!!! Everyday you let this go on-you encourage him more, and give him hope and he will become more relentless! You have been warned!
53630
Well, if he's moved on, you should do the same. It takes time, so don't think it's gonna happen overnight. Just try to be positive, and eventually, things will be OK in your life again.
1048271
Firstly must say you seem like a very special man. Secondary I shall say that it is time that you concentrate on yourself a bit more (to be able to move forward)\n\nBe respectful, always reliable, helpful, be understanding, be her shoulder to cry on (life is funny.. but wheel turns). But at the same time give her space at this time as you don’t want to loose her.\n\nI had a friend who his wife left him for another man. They have two kids together. He was always there for her (but had other girlfriend but did not commit 100%: in fact I was one J ). If she was sick, or needed something, or pick their kids up: he was always there, kept nice contact with ex-in laws because of the kids.. She went back to him when she was in trouble. He let her. He let her leave him again for yet another man (even married) He was her friend, warned her about the guy who ended up to be an abuser. She left this guy in the end, she matured, and they now together (but he did not remarry), He is now 48, his wife 8 year younger. He married he as she was only 19.\n\n*******************************\nJust remember:\n*******************************\n\nForming a relationship with your ex is entirely separate from the process of ending a marriage; if you work through the process to achieve your "emotional divorce," you can cultivate something entirely new. Your old relationship is over; take the steps to heal so that you can invest your energy elsewhere.\n\nGood luck.\n\nps meant to say: and you get a new hobby and have fun with other people as soon you will feel better and might make new friends and will not feel lonely. The reason why we LOVe or MISS people is beuase we miss that comunication. Once you communicate with others it will be better for you. And who knows, maybe your ex -wife seeing how popular and outgoing you are might ant to herself be your friend asap.........  show her your new side that she did not see before :-)
398300
I have to say no.  My ex-husband and I tried that but it doesn't work because even if you don't say how you feel it doesn't mean you don't feel that way.  Then it seems like everything is bottled inside and eventually you blow up.  It's a nice idea but not very plausible.  Another thing in marriage is it's not always so hard to forgive it's the forgetting that's the problem.  So, my advice is find another way counseling, talking, or if that's not an option I hate to say but divorce is better than being your spouses "roommate", you can't just stop caring even if you think you can.
617810
no one ever knows how to move on. Thats the worst thing about realationships. Just keep yourself busy and stay away from places where that person might be. Dont call and hang up. Dont call and ask for your stuff. Just so fouced on life in general.
775213
Some you win, some you lose.\n\nYou have to try & put this behind you otherwise you'll end up going out of your mind. I realise it must hurt like hell but you can't change the situation.\nOther people will do things at times that if we allow them (situations) will totally screw up our heads. Right now you need to find a way not to let that happen.\n\nUnfortunately there's no easy answer to this, you will feel right now as if you've been totally & utterly betrayed & of course you have. Made all the worse because it's come from someone that you loved & trusted (your wife & Mother of your Children)\n\nI don't think the fact that she was already your ex when you found out makes it any easier for you because you were still together when she did what she did.\nThe worst thing in situations like this is that your future relationships will (if you allow them to) be tainted with distrust & scepticism. You may have to get help to sort this out for you (counselling) before you even attempt to embark on another relationship. Stuff like this tends to rear its ugly head (in our heads) when we least expect it to. If left it can almost take over our lives.\n\nI'm sorry that this has happened. Fair enough if a marriage has broken down or one partner has an issue with the other & things can't be resolved, then arrangements need to be made to split as amicably as possible. To go off & have an affair without sorting one way or the other the relationship we're already in is rank out of order.\n\nDon't let people change you into the slimy scum that they are. \nit will only make you unhappy.\n\nYou can pretty much be sure of this fact though, & that is, once the relationship your ex is now in hits the bumps that hit every relationship at one time or another, she doesn't have what it takes to sort things out properly & will be moving on to her next beau.\n\nYou can feel pity for the Guy she's with now that he can't somehow see that the way she's treating her ex husband & father of her Children, she will one day treat him.\n\nI wish you the best of luck for your future,
442042
Just because he's your ex doesn't give any reason for you to not be hurt or be concerned. Have you tried talking or consoling him yet? Maybe all differences should be set aside for a moment and you try to help. I mean you were married so at some point you guys loved each other. Im sure there were times when he was there for you and you him , maybe you know him well enough that you can help him deal now, u kno? Good Luck
816635
hi there right first things first do youre self a favour and do not go back to him he will only continue to use you as a punch bag 2nd stop giving him money he is only going to pour it down his throat and you need all the money you have for youre self nd kids if they are involved ,next start logging every and i mean every call you get from him and every time he turns up phone the plice and get him removed this is going to be a really hard next 6mths at least .....im just starting to get the message through my x husbands head now and i have taken that idiot to court and won ,you need to be really strong and he will play mind games with you and try to get you back but believe me dont you will move on from this and become  strnger woman and find some one how will not use you as a punch bag as he has ....good luck and take care xxxx
87880
Unfortunately, hon, there is nothing you can do  except stand beside both and be there to pick up the pieces and help them move on.  Try not to take sides, but stay neutral because they will both still be in your life.  Divorce is hard on all involved all the way around.  Sorry I couldn.t be of any other assistance.  May God Bless - Take care.
43839
Say "Good-bye", give a great "Sponge Bob" wave.  \n\nDon't waver from this...unless you want to look foolish.  If your ex wants you back, they'll let you know.  So, you can hold your dignaty and bow out, or you can beg and beg and beg only to be rejected more and more and more.\n\nIt hurts, all I can recomend is find something that makes you happy...Go find happiness.
1101815
You won't convince him ,all you can do is file for divorce and let your lawyer know that he won't believe it's over ,once the divorce is in pipe line then aqnd only then mite he accept it really is over,i would suggest you keep contact to a minimum that way he will start to get the idea you ae not coming back,if you have been in contact on a regular basis he may feel he still stands a chance but you can't turn the clock back and if you don't love him you will only be even more unhappy if you return out of guilt because he is miserable without you,GOOD LUCK