why does a mother of 2 children walk out on them and say its too much stress to deal with a family?
465245
I'm not sure why she'd do this, but without judgement, she probably can't cope and has probably been feeling this way for a long time. People don't recognise that some women can have post natal for a very long time too, not just in infancy stage. Don't blame, if she does call it's good, and don't reprimand her either for leaving. She may be too confused to answer any question's, and if she wants to come back then allow her to talk. I'm sure there are other maritible problems as well. Maybe you two need to talk without the kids, in a neutral place about things and then go from there, if she's willing, and you haven't lost contact with her. Just remember she may feel she's doing this to so she won't hurt you and the children from her own negative behaviour.
418746
God, my own mother gets on my nerves. let her know nicley that a little goes along way. or just tell her to back off
235063
Your uncles 2nd wife sounds like one of my step daughters,it has to be about her or  nothing at all she is always trying to start trouble she curses her dad and when i get on her butt she whines and says its all my fault .I don't have any use for her how can I she curses her dad yells at him and her dad has had 2 heart attacks already she has no respect for him or her self.The other daughter is great I love her as if she was my own she has the up most respect for her dad and me both girls in 20s the witchy one has three children in which her dad hasn't seen in 3 yrs because he wont kiss her butt.she is a nut.....
109845
You should go away because her kids are not going to.If you cant accept her kids it will not work!!
1119545
Well hunn sounds like some problems for sure.\ni have been in a simaler sitution i hate to say this but the fact is if they dont see a problem they wont get help they wont listen and they want to ignore the obvious but that is not you and yes maybe difficult and mental issues do run in family's i myself had the same problems with my family . the only thing i can say better yourself dont hold on to the anger and maybe suggest  your counsiler request your family  go to a session with you also remeber that as soon as you are old enough move out though maybe hard to do it is easier than you would even imagine just know you can and you will do fine some family's are just stubborn. anyways goodluck and i hope it helped even if it was a little. take care hunn!
356088
I wrote and lost a very lengthy answer, (NOTE to all:..use sign in before answering anything to avoid this problem)\n\n I will try to summarize my previous thoughts.\n\nThe children are successful, and are most likely overwhelmed with their own daily pressures in their professions, they do not need more pressure from family.\n\nA mother who tends to be 'too caring', is one that may see their children's every success as her own, that is an unfair pressure to place or expect to be respected. She needs a focus of her own importance, children are not a hobby.\n\nThose specific words used to hurt may be because the children have been told how important their mothering bearing them was, or made to feel guilt because of their being born, hence the opposite words used to cause pain.\n\nFreedom should not be GIVEN, it was their right to have it all along, and way overdue. \n\nShe does care about them, she hurts from her own pride of not being seen as the most important influence at these moments in their lives. Many adults seem to want the relationships that they mold, instead of what they see being molded around them. She may need to find her own sense of accomplishments other than grasping on to her children's accomplishments being "IT", being proud of and taking pride in are two different things.\n\nSad, I do not doubt it, when you place all your focus so profoundly on a certain thing, and it causes pain, you want to run away, even cause pain back. She will survive, and even be stronger for it, and maybe even respect her children's wishes without adding more pressure to their lives. The children can not and should not base their own happiness on if they are pleasing their mother, they must please themselves first. They should not be asked to change themselves to please her either. \n\nWould I have said the same things in anger, probably, I did after all explode the night before being married, saying I would not have grandchildren to be pressured in the ways I had been.....Aaaahhhh.... Pressure... things are said, hurt is done, but family is family, and the PAST is the PAST, loved ones must be supported without adding a negative pressure or an expectation to live up to, a mother knows this, and should respect it at all times.
910894
Hi there , \n\nI understand your frustration. Every family are dysfunctional in some ways and when there is a crisis, like you mentioned, the stress just builds up and family members disagree. It's almost worse that they're your family because they can truly act like themselves, which often brings out their worst, or so it seems. But I believe everyone has a good intention, it's just that everyone thinks they're right and aren't willing to consider others' opinion.\n\nIt's a sign of selfishness and immaturity but hey, there will always those people and you've just got to deal with it, ya know?\n\nI hope everything works out sweetie :)
205338
You need to protect yourself, and it seems you need to do it threw legal action. At this point she thinks she can walk all over you and you will do nothing about it. You need to show her that you are willing to what it takes to protect yourself and the kids. Good luck and don't take that crap.
497237
Listen they are worried about you, you shouldnt get upset cause they care for you - I know it sometimes gets frustrating, my mom was exactly the same way - your yelling at them is not going to change things - just assure them that they should wait and see
1109783
It is your house you have the right to set limits.  And since there are children involved, I say ABSOLUTELY give her the boot.  This is not healthy behavior and could be damaging to your children.  Tell her she is a grown woman and needs to stop acting like a lovestruck teen and deal with this in a mature fashion, and in her own home!
738264
Wow, there's a lot of ignorant people on here (not you, the folks who answered with apparently no real knowledge or experience).\n\nThe symptoms for being stressed out, depressed, or have anxiety can be similar, but the circumstances and the length of time, and the  will probably be your best way of telling if it's "serious" or not.\n\nWith all three, a certain amount of that wanting-to-pull-your-hair-out feeling is to be expected.  However, being stressed out on a nice, normal, annoying level usually coincides with something in your life causing extra stress.  Moves, exams, new jobs (or jobs with deadlines), wedding/marriage, finance problems, pregnancy and birth, a child going through the terrible threes (I change it because "two" was never a problem in our house...  "threes" on the other hand........  OY!), basically any situation that is temporary or can be changed, after which the stress lifts some, is probably merely stress.  Also, stress will respond to fix-its like a night alone, a bubble bath, taking a nap, having a glass of wine, getting a pedicure, or any of the thousands of simple things people do to try to relax themselves.  A lot of the time, we get stressed because we fail to take these little moments to relax, so they're a good thing to try first.\n\nIf that feeling is persistant or unrelated to any stress-factors in your life that would warrant it, you may want to look into something deeper going on.\n\nI know very little about anxiety as an illness, other than that it cannot be reasoned away (my sister's mother-in-law has anxiety, and she's scared or stressed when she's alone...  no amount of trying to convince her that having my 3-year-old nephew over for the night will probably not be a reasonable way to combat the burgler she's convinced is coming to her home can calm her down).\n\nI have depression.  I've had it for years.  It is persistant, even during times when I know I should be less, not more, stressed.  My signs of it aren't that I'm constantly in tears or that I want to physically harm myself.  When I'm not on my medication, I feel like I'm kind of floating through life.  Months can pass, and I know what's going on, I'm living day to day, going to work, all the stuff I'm supposed to do, but I can't recall all that much that has occurred.  Also, when I'm not on my meds, my eating and sleep patterns change drastically.  I stay up too late and get up too early.  I have to take sleeping pills to get any rest.  I don't eat healthy, and I don't eat often, but I drink a lot of sodas and coffee, to get caffienne to combat the lack of sleep.  My personal hygeine slips, with 2 or more days passing between showers, I don't bother to fix my hair so I wear it in a ponytail every day, I brush my teeth maybe once a day as opposed to the three times a day I otherwise know I need to.  I don't do the things I otherwise enjoy, so books go unread, holidays and birthdays go unscrapbooked, meals go uncooked, movies go unwatched.  I get irritable.  I'll really believe something is wrong, but I can't put my finger on what it is.\n\nThe best way to tell the difference is to compare behavior now to behavior before.  \n\nIf there have been changes in sleep, eating, hygeine, hobbies; if once you were really a people-person and now you stay home and never return phone calls; if you're irritable or sad for no real reason (usually if you have clinical depression, those feelings are persistant and real, but you may not know why you feel them), then you should see your physician or mental health professional.\n\nRemember, it's the changes that are important.  If you've never fussed about your appearance, not taking the time to "fix up" means nothing.  If you've always been a homebody, not liking to go out, having less than a vibrant social life is not a change.\n\nIf any of these chang
569019
Please don't take it personal, but chances are you are the root of her defiance. Don't take this personal, but are you White? And this is just an observation that I had, many white people allow their children extended freedoms, and this can cause a child to feel like they are the ones that are in control. Let me open my mouth in an even slightly disrespectful undertone, my mother would've put a fist, belt, extension cord, mopstick, telephone cord.......(you get the picture) on my behind. And to all those who say don't beat their children remember " spare the rod spoil the child". This is just a general response. I also must say that it sounds like she has a lot of resentment towards you, and it sounds like it stems from whatever kind of relationship you had/have with her father. Her fighting with her younger bro is something that is common, but it could be BC of jealousy(do the two of them have the same father?) It kinda sounds like she is crying out for attention, you must remember to children attention is attention, whether it is positive or negative its the attention that they desire
589737
I guess mothers (over their sons) are really nosy...and in terms of the opposite...protective behavior aside...maybe she's looking into how to make herself feel young again? Not too sure...but either way...my gut tells me you should confront the issue and find out what she's really getting out of it...
1022042
You have to keep in mind if their are children involved they will always be the first priority.  You should never expect a parent to choose you over their kids. In-laws I'm a bit shaky on. But you are  not the only person w/this kind of anxiety.
852313
It sounds like a better situation than the one you are in now.\nHave a heart to heart with your husband and tell him that you feel it would be best for you and the children to be on your own.\nIf he doesnt agree then tell him you and the children will go on your own because his mother is causing you too much stress.
758438
I understand you have a connection with her kids, but sorry guy your wasting your time.  She keeps coming back to you even though she walks all over you...she knows you will be there and relies on you to be there.  You need to put your foot down and tell her you are not her doormat_
460258
Your mom is going through a difficult situation in life.  You should understand that.  And so are you!  But be by her side and stand up for her always.  Also, do not be shy to discuss EVERYTHING concerning her relationships and your feelings with her gently.  Surely she will be the one to make you more comfortable in dealing with the matter.  What other people say does matter, but only to a certain extent.  So dont let that get to you.  Afterall, they do not provide you with anything when you are down.  Also divert your mind and do things that make you happy.  Good luck kid - looks like you are brave and will come out of this a winner.