Someone have any good yo mamma or some good blonde jokes?
469692
Yo mama's so stupid, she spent twenty minutes looking at an orange juice box because it said "concentrate." \n\nYo mama's so stupid, she put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind. \n\nYo mama's so stupid, they had to burn the school down to get her out of the 3rd grade. \n\nYo mama's so stupid, she sat in a tree house because she wanted to be a branch manager. \n\nYo mama's so stupid, she stole a police car because she thought "911" meant Porsche. \n\nYo mama's so stupid, she sat on the TV & watched the couch. \n\nYo mama's so stupid, when she was taking you to the airport and a sign said "Airport Left," she turned around and went home. \n\nYo mama's so stupid, she put a ruler by her pillow to see how long she slept. \n\nYo mama's so stupid, she was locked in a grocery store and starved. \n\nYo mama's so stupid, your house burned down because she couldn't find the "11" button to call 911. \n\nYo mama's so stupid, she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl. \n\nYo mama's so stupid, she brought a towel to her carpool. \n\nYo mama's so stupid, she thought a quarterback was a refund. \n\nYo mama's so stupid, she thought a lawsuit was something you wear to court. \n\nYo mama's so stupid, she took the Pepsi challenge and chose Jif. \n\nYo mama's so stupid, she stole free bread. \n\nYo mama's so stupid, she got tangled up in a cordless phone. \n\nYo mama's so stupid, it takes her 2 hours to watch 60 Minutes. \n\nYo mama's so stupid, if she spoke her mind, she'd be speechless. \n\nYo mama's so stupid, she jumped out the window and went up. \n\nYo mama's so stupid, she failed a blood test. \n\nYo mama's so stupid, she thought hamburger helper came with another person. \n\nYo mama's so stupid, if you gave her a penny for her thoughts, you'd get change back. \n\nYo mama's so stupid, she got hit by a parked car. \n\nYo mama's so stupid, she sold the car for gas money. \n\nYo mama's so stupid, when your dad said, "It's chilly outside," she ran into the kitchen to get a bowl. \n\nYo mama's so stupid, she thinks Taco Bell is the Mexican phone company. \n\nYo mama's so stupid, she got fired from the M&M's factory for throwing away all the W's. \n\nYo mama's so stupid, she heard that 90% of all accidents occur around the home, so she moved. \n\n\nchapter 3: ugly \n\nYo mama's so ugly, when she joined an ugly contest, they said, "Sorry, no professionals." \n\nYo mama's so ugly, her face is closed on weekends. \n\nYo mama's so ugly, when she gets up, the sun goes down. \n\nYo mama's so ugly, she has to sneak up on bath water. \n\nYo mama's so ugly, her picture is on the inside of a Roach Motel. \n\nYo mama's so ugly, she'd make a train take a dirt road. \n\nYo mama's so ugly, instead of having her own 900 number, she has her own 911 number. \n\nYo mama's so ugly, when I took her to a haunted house, she came out with a paycheck. \n\nYo mama's so ugly, when I took her to the zoo, the guy at the door said, "Thanks for bringing her back." \n\nYo mama's so ugly, people go as her for Halloween. \n\nYo mama's so ugly, she has to trick or treat over the phone. \n\nYo mama's so ugly, the government moved Halloween to her birthday. \n\nYo mama's so ugly, she makes onions cry. \n\nYo mama's so ugly, she scares away blind kids. \n\nYo mama's so ugly, she threw a boomerang and it wouldn't come back. \n\nYo mama's so ugly, when she was born, the doctor slapped her mama. \n\nYo mama's so ugly, the doctor's still slapping her. \n\nYo mama's so ugly, when she leaned over to hear, "snap, crackle, pop," all she heard was "Aargh! Get us out of here!" \n\nYo mama's so ugly, the psychiatrist makes her lie face down. \n\nYo mama's
524686
why don't i give u thumbs UP! for the joke!! haha\n\nwcwc PD!! lol thanks for the laughs... GOOD MORNING TO U SIR..:)
745484
A blonde was speeding in a 35 mile per hour zone when a local police officer pulled her over and walked up to the car. The officer also happened to be a blonde and she asked for the blonde's driver's license.\nThe driver searched frantically in her purse for a while and finally said to the blonde policewoman, "What does a driver's license look like?"\nIrritated, the blonde cop said, "You dummy, it's got your picture on it!"\nThe blonde driver frantically searched her purse again and found a small, rectangular mirror down at the bottom. She held it up to her face and said, "Aha! This must be my driver's license" and handed it to the blonde policewoman.\nThe blonde cop looked in the mirror, handed it back to the driver and said, "You're free to go. And, if I had known you were a police officer too, we could have avoided all of this."
509112
Yo Mamma's so fat when I have sex with her I have to slap her *** and ride the wave in. \n\n\nYo Mamma's so fat when she put high heels she struct oil!\n\n\nYo mama so fat when her beeper goes off, people thought she was backing up \n\n\nYo mama so fat she eats Wheat Thicks. \n\n\nYo mama so fat people jog around her for exercise \n\n\nYo mama so fat she went to the movies and sat next to everyone \n\n\nYo mama so fat she has been declared a natural habitat for Condors \n\n\nYo mamma so fat you have to roll over twice to get off her... \n\n\nYo mama so fat she was floating in the ocean and spain claimed her for then new world \n\n\nYo mama so fat she lay on the beach and people run around yelling Free Willy \n\n\nYo mama so fat when she has wants someone to shake her hand, she has to give directions! \n\n\nYo mama so fat she goes to a resturant, looks at the menu and says "okay!" \n\n\nYo mama so fat when she wears a yellow raincoat, people said "Taxi!" \n\n\nYo mama so fat she had to go to Sea World to get baptized \n\n\nYo mama so fat she got to iron her pants on the driveway \n\n\nYo mama so fat she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller \n\n\nYo mama so fat she got to pull down her pants to get into her pockets \n\n\nYo mama so fat when she tripped over on 4th Ave, she landed on 12th \n\n\nYo mama so fat the highway patrol made her wear "Caution! Wide Turn" \n\n\nYo mama so fat when she sits around the house, she SITS AROUND THE HOUSE! \n\n\nYo mama so fat when she steps on a scale, it read "one at a time, please" \n\n\nYo mama so fat she fell in love and broke it. \n\n\nYo mama so fat when she gets on the scale it says to be continued. \n\n\nYo mama so fat when she gets on the scale it says we don't do livestock. \n\n\nYo mama so fat she's got her own area code! \n\n\nYo mama so fat God couldn't light Earth until she moved! \n\n\nYo mama so fat whenever she goes to the beach the tide comes in! \n\n\nYo mama so fat when she plays hopscotch, she goes New York, L.A., Chicago... \n\n\nYo mama so fat she's got Amtrak written on her leg. \n\n\nYo mama so fat her legs is like spoiled milk - white & chunky! \n\n\nYo mama so fat I had to take a train and two buses just to get on the her good side! \n\n\nYo mama so fat she wakes up in sections! \n\n\nYo mama so fat when she goes to an amusement park, people try to ride HER! \n\n\nYo mama so fat she sat on a quarter and a booger shot out of george washington's nose. \n\n\nYo mama so fat she rolled over 4 quarters and it made a dollar! \n\n\nYo mama so fat when she lies on the beach no one else gets sun! \n\n\nYo mama so fat when she bunje jumps she goes straight to hell! \n\n\nYo mama so fat when she jumps up in the air she gets stuck!!! \n\n\nYo mama so fat she's got more Chins than a Hong Kong phone book! \n\n\nYo mama so fat that her senior pictures had to be arial views! \n\n\nYo mama so fat she's on both sides of the family! \n\n\nYo mama so fat everytime she walks in high heels, she strikes oil! \n\n\nYo mama so fat she fell and made the Grand Canyon! \n\n\nYo mama so fat she sat on the beach and Greenpeace threw her in! \n\n\nYo mama so fat even her clothes have stretch marks! \n\n\nYo mama so fat she has a wooden leg with a kickstand! \n\n\nYo mama so fat she has to use a VCR as a beeper! \n\n\nYo mama so fat she broke her leg, and gravy poured out! \n\n\nYo mama so fat when she rides in a hot air balloon, it looks like she's wearin tights! \n\n\nYo mama so fat she got hit by a parked car! \n\n\nYo mama so fat they have to grease the bath tub to get her out! \n\n\nYo mama so fat she has a run in her blue-jeans! \n\n\nYo mama so fat when she gets on the scale it says to be continued. \n\n\nYo mama so fat when she wears a yellow raincoat people say "Taxi!" \n\n\nYo mama so fat she got to iron her pants on the driveway! \n\n\nYo mama so fat she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller! \n
1157721
i would say nuthing because it's just like a joke.\n\nyo mama is so fat when she goes on the weigh it said to be continued.\n\n\nYo Mama So Ugly...\n\nshe put the Boogie man outta business.\n\nshe make Michael Jackson look like Brad Pitt\n\nwhen she wobbles down the street in September, folk say, "Damn it, can't believe it's Halloween already..."\n\nwhen she applied for the ugly contest they told her 'NO Professionals'\n\nshe looked out her window and was arrested for indecent exposure!\n\nminutes after she was born her Mother shouted 'What a treasure!" and her Poppa said, "Yes, now let's go and bury her..."\n\nthey push her face into the dough mixture when making Monster cookies.\n\nwhen they took her to the Beautician it took 10 hours....and that was just for the quote!\n\nyer Daddy takes her to work each day so he doesny have to kiss her goodbye...\n\nshe put Marilyn Manson out of business.\n\nshe was a guard at Snake Mountain\n\nthey knew what time she was born cuz her face stopped the clock...\n\neven Harry Knowles refused to date her.\n\nthey embalmed her face on a box of super-strength laxatives and sold it empty!\n\nshe gets 364 extra days just to dress up for Halloween.\n\nTony Blair moved Halloween to her birthday.\n\nyou papa throws the ugly stick and she goes fetches it every time.\n\nshe scared the stitching outta Frankenstein.\n\nwe had to tie a steak round her neck so the dogs would play with her.\n\nI heard yer Father first met her at the Zoo.\n\nher shadow gave up.\n\npeople at the Zoo pay cash so they DON't have to see her...\n\nher mom had to be Pissed drunk just to breast feed her.\n\nwhen born, the doctors had to fit her incubator with tinted windows.\n\nhotel managers use her picture to keep away the Rats.\n\ninstead of round the ankles, they put the Bungee Jumping cord round her neck.\n\nthey gave her a middle name...'accident'.\n\nshe fell out of the Ugly Tree, hitting every branch on the way down.\n\nwhen she walked into the Haunted House, she came back out with a Job Application!\n\neven Slicky Willy Clinton refused to sleep with her...\n\nwhen she was born the Doc smacked her face.\n\nYou mama so Ugly that she's got her very own Crazy Pranks & Hilarious Gags named after her...
221179
Yo mama so stupid that she puts lipstick on her head just to make-up her mind.\n\nYo mama so stupid she hears it's chilly outside so she gets a bowl.\n\nYo mama so stupid that she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order!\n\nYo mama so stupid she bought a solar-powered flashlight!\n\nYo mama so stupid she thinks a quarterback is a refund!\n\nYo mama so stupid when she read on her job application to not write below the dotted line she put "O.K."\n\nYo mama so stupid she thinks Fleetwood Mac is a new hamburger at McDonalds!\n\nYo mama so stupid when the computer said "press any key to continue" she couldn't find the any key. \n \nYo mama so stupid she got a doughnut and returned it cause it had a hole in it.
175082
TRY THESE..........\n\n1\n\nFresh from her shower, a woman stands in front of the mirror complaining to her husband that her breasts are too small.\n\nInstead of characteristically telling her it's not so, the husband uncharacteristically comes up with a suggestion. "If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet paper and rub it between your breasts for a few seconds."\n\nWilling to try anything, the wife fetches a piece of toilet paper and stands in front of the mirror, rubbing it between her breasts.\n\n"How long will this take?" she asks.\n\n"They'll grow larger over a period of years," he replies.\n\nThe wife stops. "Why do you think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between my breasts everyday will make my breasts grow over the years?"\n\n"Worked for your butt, didn't it?"\n\nHe lived. And with a great deal of therapy, may even walk again..\n\n\n2\n\nMan driving down road.\nWoman driving up same road\nThey pass each other\nWoman yells out her window, "PIG!"\nMan yells out his window, "B.I.T.C.H!"\nMan rounds next curve\nCrashes into a huge pig in middle of road.\n\nThought For The Day : If only men would listen. \n\n\n3\n\nThe mother-in-law stopped unexpectedly by the recently married couple's \nhouse. She rang the doorbell and stepped into the house. She saw her \ndaughter-in-law standing naked by the door.\n\n"What are you doing?" she asked.\n\n"I'm waiting for my husband to come home from work," the \ndaughter-in-law \nanswered.\n\n"But you're naked!" the mother-in-law exclaimed.\n\n"This is my love dress," the daughter-in-law explained.\n\n"Love dress? But you're naked!"\n\n"My husband loves me to wear this dress! It makes him happy and it \nmakes me \nhappy. I would appreciate it if you would leave because he will be home \nfrom \nwork any minute."\n\nThe mother-in-law was tired of all this romantic talk and left. On the \nway \nhome she thought about the love dress. When she got home she undressed, \nshowered, put on her best perfume and waited by the front door. Finally \nher \nhusband came home. He walked in and saw her standing naked by the door.\n\n"What are you doing?" he asked.\n\n"This is my love dress" she replied.\n\n"Needs ironing." he said.\n\nHEHE>>HAVE FUN 2 YA GUYZ READING
167475
Yo mama so stupid when your dad said it was chilly outside, she ran outside with a spoon\nYo mama so ugly they push her face into dough to make gorilla cookies.\nYo mama so fat when she sits around the house, she SITS AROUND THE HOUSE!\nJust a few :)
1053672
very clean and funny too. r u mad? or glad? or sad?\nget e-mail? tlk 2 me?  \nyep one good clean man sized joke you got here mister Pd.
716772
here's a good one that isn't too short. \n\nA blonde and a brunette are watching the news, where a man is going to jump off a building. The brunette says "I betcha 10 euro that he'll jump". The blonde says "I betcha 10 euro that he won't". So they accept. \nThen the man jumps. The blonde starts to give the brunette the money when the brunette says "I can't take your money, i saw this on the 5 'o' clock news already". The blonde says "Yeah, I saw it too, I just didn't think he'd jump again"!!
1078036
Joann, keep them a coming, I enjoy these jokes your sending us. I will be passing them along. LOLOLOL *~* lololol
931095
Those are wonderful, I have a little party coming up with a few girlfriends and their men. These jokes will be great to tell to them. These are the perfect ones, they're short and totally sweet!!  Thanks I hope you don't mind me stealing them.
129005
Yo' mama like a Big Mac -- full of fat and only worth a buck!\n\nYo Mama is like a bus, she's big she doesn't smell very good and it's only a dollar to ride.\n\nYo mama's so dumb, she stuck the phone up her ass and thought she was makin' a booty call.\n\nYo Mama is so fat, when she told me her weight I thought it was her phone number.
923110
hahaha.....Both were very good,,,,,,,, Now would you be so kind as to please post some more jokes.......lol
731922
1)Theres a blonde and a brunette walking in the park. The brunette says to the blonde "look, a dead bird". The blonde looks up into the air and says "where?"\n\n2)Theres this blonde woman driving her car down the road and all of a sudden starts swerving. A police car behind her notices this and pulls her over. The blonde says "thank god your here officer, these trees keep appearing in the middle of the road and i have to swerve to avoid them." The officer replies "thats your air-freshener."\n\n3)Why shouldnt you let a blonde use your computer? You'll end up with tipex all over the screen. (cos shes usin the word processor, inevitably makes a mistake and tries to tipex it out) [do americans have tipex?]
941680
That was too funny!!  I also am a blonde.  However, I am confident in my own intelligence level to appreciate a dumb blonde joke.  I find them quite entertaining!!!
1068208
Your mama's so fat that when she jumps into the air she gets stuck.\n\nYour mama's so fat that when she sits around the house, she actually sits AROUND the house.\n\nYour mama's so fat I don't need a joke\n\nNeed more?:\nhttp://www.thejokeyard.com/your_momma_jokes/index.html\n\nHave a good laugh!!