What bond is between "husband and wife"-love? NO.B'cose nagging,accusing,beating and no love for weeks?
460488
Well I can only answer for myself. The bonds between my husband and I are: Love, respect, trust, honesty, extremely awesome sex and 3 beautiful children!
62601
Nothing. I do not hate my spouse!
22115
There is something to be said for an emotional affair, so even just talking, if you talk about things with this guy that you don't share with your husband, then you are having and affair, breaking your vows, and in my opinion are at least AS abusive as you claim he is.\n\nYes, affairs are abuse.  The lying to your spouse is a form of crazy-making, an emotional abuse tactic.\n\nIf you have sought pro-marriage counselling, have brought your husband before the church where you were married or some other body and he refuses to do what they recommend to fix his part of the marriage, then divorce him before you begin even a close friendship with another man.\n\nAffairs are abuse, plain and simple.  If your husband were here, I'd tell him to stop his abuse as well, but he's not, so I'm asking you to stop your abusive behavior.
1120864
Lust is a crush, plain and simple..  love is something almost unexplainable, difficult to describe.. the need to be with someone forever and not being able to picture your life with out that person in it..   Is your marriage in trouble? only u know, is it something u can keep in your mind, or something u want to act on, if its something u want to act on, YEP its in trouble.. cause if you really loved your husband.. u'd never even contimplate actually cheating on him, but if its just the flattery of another guy flirting with you, and just likeing the attention, that human nature what person doesnt want to feel that kind of attention.. so its in your court on whether its in trouble.. and how would u feel if the shoe were on the other foot and your husband was feeling this way about another woman????? ..
398300
I have to say no.  My ex-husband and I tried that but it doesn't work because even if you don't say how you feel it doesn't mean you don't feel that way.  Then it seems like everything is bottled inside and eventually you blow up.  It's a nice idea but not very plausible.  Another thing in marriage is it's not always so hard to forgive it's the forgetting that's the problem.  So, my advice is find another way counseling, talking, or if that's not an option I hate to say but divorce is better than being your spouses "roommate", you can't just stop caring even if you think you can.
1120
Watch for the red flags prior to marriage.  But when in love, we often miss the red flags, so if that happens, here are what I consider serious and justifiable grounds:\n\nAdultery -- many people can't move past this.  It's a physical betrayal, but also tears at you emotionally.  I personally think it's one of the most difficult ones to resolve.\n\nAbuse -- physical or verbal.  Verbal often gets overlooked, but it's namecalling, screaming at you rather than holding a normal conversation, talked down to, and did I mention yelling and screaming?  If you ask the person a normal question, like "do you have any change for the toll?" and they start screaming that "all you do is harp about money," you've got a problem.  Physical is obvious, but don't overlook punching walls, breaking dishes, etc.  Watch out for signs of roughness or  meanness to your children and pets too.\n\nControl Freaks:  This is also a form of abuse, but these men want to know your every move, monitor your phone calls, read your email and voice mails, won't let you go to the mall alone, etc.  Insist that if you get a new hairdo or buy a new dress, it must be because you're cheating with someone.  This is usually disguised as jealousy which women may think lattering -- at first.  Don't be fooled.  Control freaks also don't want you to hold a job or have any money of your own.  You must beg for an "allowance."\n\nFinancial:  There are a lot of men who live off women.  They have jobs when you meet them.  Then, something happens, and it's always the company or bosses fault.  They tell you they're out job hunting, but nothing is happening.  Next comes laying around on the couch all day, sleeping, watching tv or guzzling beer.  Weeks turn into months and it's just you working.  Or, the person flits from job to job and can't hold a job.  This man will plunge you right into financial ruin and guess what -- you can't get them out of the house all that easy, if it happens to be your house and not a joint home.  Keep an eye out that they don't dip into your wallet.  A dollar or two missing, here and there, usually becomes much more.  You'll get behind on bills, your credit will suffer.  Don't stand for this.\n\nAddictive behavior:  Drugs, alchoholism, gambling.  Will cause you nothing but stress, pain and financial hardship.  Don't try to be the hero and "help" the person out of despair.  Unless you are rich enough to get them into very good rehab, like the movie stars do, it probably won't work.  Addicts can only be helped if they want to be and you'll be surprised how many enjoy the behavior and have no desire to give it up.  I've seen men go to AA or a counseling session, come right out and stop at a bar.  It is almost a joke with them.  You may keep gamblers out of casinos, but they'll spend a whole paycheck on lottery tickets or the football pool.\n\nIllegal behavior:  Selling drugs, stealing, pulls insurance scams, (or any scams), etc., RUN.  He'll eventually get caught and you might get implicated too!  Do you want his record to become yours?\n\nGood luck.
227885
I disagree with the person who says domestic violence is the "obvious" answer. I think it's the ultimate answer. People who feel trapped in this kind of relationship are being controlled and there is little joy in their marriage. I deal with this issue in my work, and I'd say along with drug/alcohol addictions this is at the top of the list. Domestic violence would include physical, sexual and verbal/emotional abuse.\n\nOther than these, I'd include a lack of intimacy (not sex as much as intimacy), having incompatible values (moral, spiritual, financial, child rearing, etc.), or a lack of commitment (which would include things like infidelity or excessive flirtations).
617277
Emotional is far worse than physical.  A spouse may go through a period of weakness - and seek outside physical contact - but that betrayal does not in any way mean that he/she has stopped loving their spouse - they just have a period of weakness --- However when you get involved emotionally outside the marriage, that means something else again ---- many spouse that cheat confuse emotional attraction and just physical attraction --- and the spouse may be temporarily ( 1 day 1 week or months) "addicted" to the outside influence that they think is emotional when it is only passion for physical contact with someone else --- In time a spouse that cheated will return and the love he/she has for their spouse remains ----  Love in a marriage means MUCH more than physical contact -- and that is not to minimize the hurt and brtrayal caused by a spous that cheats ---- but cheating by and of itself DOES NOT need to mean the end of the marriage ---- obvioulsy, there was something missing in the marriage for the betrayal to occur
284032
I warn my husband about this all the time.  I feel me and him don't have a deep mutual understanding of each other.  You know how with some people you have that love and understnading and emotional connection and with others you don't.  he and I don't have that - thought we did but we rushed into the marriage.  I keep telling him that if he continues to be that way - he complains and argues about everything that I am interested in and criticizes me for the way I do things ..doesn't understand the real me. We just doesn't have that real true love "connection" as your wife calls it and "emotional" understanding for one another ... he has no idea what i mean when i explain this to him; I tell him he's gonna be the guy that 10 years down the road the wife will say "i want a divorce" and the entire time he would never see it coming and would wonder "where did I go wrong - i thought everything was fine" ... but you know what .. I commend you for reading books and seeing a counselor.  I try to read books about this stuff to my husband and he gets mad and defensive or he'll just ignore what I'm reading to him.  If she doesn't give you that chance to work it out then she is just fed up and there is no hope.  Give her a little more time - although she probably feels less hurt becasue she knows you are still wanting to be with her so she's not scared about this time apart.  If you were to act like her and accept it - then it would scare her.  When I threaten to leave sometimes and he is beggin for me not to, I feel the urge to leave even more because I know I have the upper hand and he's wrong.  But .. if he would act like he wouldn't care for ex: one time he said "fine I'll pack your bags for you" I felt really vulnerable and hurt but it scared me ... and we ended up making up instead of me leaving.   Take everyones advice - just take it day by day - you'll be fine and she'll come around - if its over just let it go .. use what you have learned to help you out later.  Just note that women need emotional attention and understanding- we are weird like that.
973320
No infact it would be worst because you are doing it out of spite. You may get temporary satisfaction by hurting your wife, but if you still love her, the best thing to do is to give it time and try to work it out. You should read the article on my site titled "12 Ways To Build Trust In Your Relationship" you'll find that here...\n\nhttp://cheatingsigns.blogspot.com\nHope that helps. Because building back trust is indeed the next step. If not, your marriage is doomed.\n\nBest of Luck,\nDrew Bryant\nhttp://howtospotacheatin10days.com
1115855
fight like fist fight? NO! Is it normal to disagree with one another, YES. Afterall you are two different people with different ways of thinking and then all of a sudden you are married to that person and living your daily life together. You better bet there will be arguments. If you never disagree you or your partner is a people pleaser type personality or you just figure its better not to ruffle any feathers and try to bury all your feelings, which in the end will blow up in your faces. If you are having a disagreement over a certain thing all the time, maybe it's better to seek counseling over the issue before there is too much resentment and the problem gets bigger. It's normal to laugh with your spouse as much as it is normal to have disagreements, it's life. How you handle them will definately determine whether or not you are married for long though. Best wishes!
788755
There is no specific word for the feeling of love.  If the feelings are acted upon, then it is called adultery.
816869
Hi, has he always been like this or is it just the spell you've been arguing.\nMarriage is hard work and needs constant nuturing from both sides to feel loved by the other side.\nSome people (men and women) have difficulty in expressing themselves, is this your husband?\nIf so, maybe you accepting this as him and noticing the other ways he does express love will help, but there is nothing like a hug and hearing how we are loved so do understand where you are coming from.\nA husband and wife will either knit together over the years or move in opposite directions (like my ex and I) but for it to work you must be moving in the same direction. \nTalking to him and continuing to express yourself, your love is all you can do really, and hope he hears you before you change, because you will in time.\nMaking time for those special moments will also help, there is always another little trick we can pull out the hat to surprise him, reveal another mystery about yourself-try it-remind him of why he got with you. ;)\nJust keep trying until he either wakes up or loses out with the woman he fell for and married, I wish you both luck xxx
298884
Well....I'll be honest....one of my wifes friends used to always press up against me.  She's affectionate to everyone...but wow.  Okay, now no one tell her.  I never took it further than that.  Promise!
485109
Oh man, my hubby and I will be celebrating our 3rd anniversary this Oct and 5 years of being together. It has taken us a long time to figure this one out. The answer sounds so simple but it can take ALLOT of self control and discipline. The key to a successful relationship is having a forgiving, unconditional love for your partner. Being able to accept blame and admit wrong doing and knowing what to do to change is a big key. When we talk "fight" we do not tell the other what we don't like about them but what we recognize they don't like about us. This way its not assigning blame and creating defensive walls but acknowledging wrong and working together to change. We are best friends, lovers, and we embrace all things together as a team. Marriage is the HARDEST thing to do in this journey we call life but I PROMISE it has the largest rewards! My husband and I got divorced last year and realized on the day of our divorce in the courtroom that we were running from our problems and making the biggest mistake of our lives. You have to go THROUGH your problems, you can not avoid them in any way. Good luck to you
339236
i think the relationship defines itself, people get in to trouble with words, after all they are just words.  what the relationship is will be defined by actual events and actions, regardless of the words.  how many people do you know who hear 'i love you' and are treated like something far less than a loved one? if you feel the need to have it defined in words just say where is this going? if it freaks him out and he leaves it wasn't going anywhere but the bedroom anyway. good luck
278352
I am currently in the same shoes as your husband.  It is tough when a man sincerely makes a change and tries to make good on promises especially if he hadn't in the past.  It seems that everything that is done in a positive manner is viewed as way of trying to influence the wife into coming back.  \n\nIf you can truly see that he is trying to change, but you are afraid of the pain then that is understandable.  Your feelings and "sanity" should be considered.  Here is the thing though, what are you doing to change???  Alot of times when someone is "done wrong", they feel that they didn't have a role in it.  Maybe you are the perfect wife, but I suspect that something that about you has played a part in your separation.  Not knowing your particulars, I would say work on making yourself a better person.  The change in you may make you understand the change in him.\n\nI sincerely hope that your husband has changed.  I hard when someone you love does not believe in you and the pain that is caused becomes unbearable at times.  But if he is fighting through all of that, maybe there is something about him that is redeemable.\n\nGood Luck and I'll pray for the two of you.\n\nWT