Why would a man pursue marriage for two years and then after marriage lose all interest in sex?
468058
Believe it or not, a lot of people loose interest in sex after marriage. For the first few months thier interest may increase, or they could just stay normal. But once the "honeymoon" is over, a lot of people just loose interest. Also, it could be that he is depressed. You might want to look into that. Or, if he has been put on any antidepressants lately. Most doctors fail to inform patients that a side effect of SSRIs is a decrease in sexual desire.
165753
Because he's a jerk, just like my ex! If he's doing it now, he'll never change! I lived through that for 12 years before I got the courage to finally cut my losses. (We were married for 4 1/2 years, and was together for another 8 years after that..if you want to call it "together") I'm better off now, because I have a very loving husband who would go to the ends of the earth for me!
374663
The men I have spoken to feel alienated and rejected both mentally and physically from their wives.  Apparently sex once or twice a year is considered normal for this stage/age of marriage.  Loneliness would probably be the best way to explain it.  They feel that they can fulfill their needs while still maintaining the quid pro quo of the marriage and family.\n\nWrong as it sounds that is what they tell me.  They actually feel like they are sacrificing their own happiness to maintain the responsibilities they have for family.  They see an affair or usually casual sex as a necessary evil.  Most have no intention of ever leaving their wives and they make that perfectly clear.  To them  a marriage that is tolerable is better than divorce.
229139
Don't be concerned you are adjusting to married life, and it is normal to have a slow down in sexual desire, just keep it fun...spontanous and romantic!! Surprise him...impress him....tease him.....
524888
Sounds as if he has moved on in his mind and left you and the marriage behind. Sad that after 8 years. How you can improve your marriage is how you react to the sitution right now. Don't beg or bug him about anything. Give him some room and the old saying if you set someone free and they come back they are yours is very true............
595000
Ah, I am sorry to hear how much this is upsetting you, and I feel sorry for him as well. I wish I had a crystal ball to look into and find out what's really going on here. Something's fishy. \n\nAt the start of many sexual relationships, the lovemaking is hot! It's natural for sex to wane over time and you two were very busy. I sense that there's an undercurrent you need to ferret out, as it seems that he is flat-out avoiding sex with you. \n\nAsk yourself some basic questions: when did things change? Was there an incident that you can remember? Has there been a gradual decline? Has putting on weight, having children, a change in income/earnings or something like that happened? \n\nAs for the importance of this to your relationship, although national studies have shown disparate results, sex is not usually the number one issue in saving a marriage. However, if it's a top need for you and it compounds your feelings of inadequacy, erodes your self-esteem, makes you feel unloved or affects your ability to feel good about yourself in general, then it's time to have a serious heart-to-heart with him. Be gentle when you talk about it and try to understand what's bothering him. After that, you may need to seek professional help either together or alone — or give him up in the end.
598082
I do because there are more chances that a relationship will last a lot longer for sex to come after marriage than for marriage to come after sex. To build a relationship you have to know what the foundation is made out of. Some choose sex to be the foundation of a relationship and some choose love as their foundation. Sex and love are two separate things and should NEVER be looked upon as an equal. Some people are too stubborn to realize that sex is suppose to be something done out of love; (if any is envolved) not the other way around. Chances are very good that if a person views sex as a foundation to a relationship, he/she wasn't looking for one in the first place. People often forget what marriage is these days. In most traditional marriages there's a line that says "for better or for worse"; if someone is gonna treat the other like some kind of merchandise such as a car or whatever and they have this mentality that they have to "try" someone out before marriage, they don't have any business getting married. Basically if this happens what that person is saying is that they don't love you, they're just gonna use you as temporary usage and if he/she doesn't like what's been provided, that person is gonna be stashed away. That is what's gonna happen when sex becomes before marriage.
21148
well have you had sex before and now its stopped if so maybe he wants to wait till you get married or maybe hes cheating or maybe he doesnt think you enjoy it just talk to him ask him why he doesnt want to
1021652
The same way that married men do.... they are lonely and need conversation or perhaps they are sick and tired of their sexual relationship and wants something more exciting or different... but afraid to lose what they have .... especially if they are being financially taken care of...
825923
he gave you a very HONEST answer.. at his age your asking alot from someone out of the gate of life... he is still trying to find his way kind of thing....\n\nnothing wrong with you... nothing wrong with him... just two dif. point of views, beliefs etc... if he had a crystal ball and looked into the future and could see that all is well, he would marry you.. but we don't have that.... it is called faith, stupidity of better fortune, will, belief in the couple... I don't know... but it sounds like he is missing a good opportunity to share his new beginning with someone that will be pulling the rope from the same end as his..\n\nHe needs to understand that whether he makes a decision or not life will continue too move on, married or not, people will live, people will die, he may starve to death married or single... could it be a totall failure.... sure could... could it be a smile on his face when he is 90 years old and in his death bed... yea.... \n\nOne of the most amazing thing that occurs in this world is when two become one and step off into the black hole together... as there is no certantie in anything... that you or him will be alive by the time you read this, nor that your love will last, nor that it will fail... the only failure will be is to let what could be... not....\n\nHe won't become relaxed about any of marriage etc... till about 3 years into it when he realizes... it's not that bad... kind of fun as long as your expectations are in line with reality.\n\nIt amazes me when I see young couples... I ask myself was I ever really that young, that stupid?  And I think... I wish I would have been dumber and just lived... even if I starved in the process.\n\nThe greatest joys happen when we have the least.  That is a rough interpritation of a Chineese proverb...\n\ngood luck, go slow and understand where he is coming from... but you know which course you have too take when it is time... give him a little time... but don't miss life... it's a hell of a ride rich or poor.
203237
Yep, get a marriage counselor.  I mean, getting into the relationship you knew ahead of time he was 17 years older and that there would come a time when your sex drives differed from each other.  This should have been taken into consideration from the start.  Just be sure to look inside yourself and find the true reason you are having issues.  Don't lie to yourself and say that you "are getting distant and there is no more sex" when part of the reason very well could be the fact that you want a man your age.
929862
Its a sad world that produces such consistently narrow minded responses as the ones above.\n\nEvery single one of the above repondents equates Marriage with Sex, not Love.\n\nSex plays an often small if not non existent part in many marriages.   It is inevitable that in some marriages one partner may have a strong sexual urge where the other doesn't.  \n\nThe nature of an individual's sexual urge or even orientation may change over time whilst not necessarily affecting the love one has for a partner.\n\nIn such circumstances an otherwise healthy loving relationship may be put under strain if there is not an outlet for those urges.\n\nInfidelity is commited by the heart not the loins.  \n\nThere are many avenues one can explore to find a sexual release that is emotionally limited.   These avenues, USED SENSIBLY, can fill a gap in your life and relieve an itch before it consumes both yourself and your marriage.
154001
I think that people that save sex are to be highly respected.  I myself am waiting until marriage.  Sex, when thrown around too much, becomes stagnant, and it takes more and more to please the person, just like a drug.  Studies have proven that those people that have only had one or two partners in their lives, no matter how active they are together, are much less likely to get bored with each other.  He takes sleeping with someone seriously, and we all should.  We're talking about an act that God made so that two people in love, who are intimate on every other level, ie mind, personality, spiritually, can now consumate and become fully one in each other.  Its so beautiful when done as its supposed to be.  Sex just for sex ends up being shallow.
546971
He's probably in his prime where all he wants is sex. Men tend to want sex, but later on, You probably will be the one wanting sex and he'll be thinking what you're thinking now. (Men's sex drive kicks in before the women.)
1160804
My sex drive has declined slightly over the years (I'm almost 52).  I've been married to the same incredibly beautiful woman for 31 years and we still go at it like teenagers.  No, strike that, no teenager ever had sex as good as we have.\n\nI have to say that the reason is probably looking at you in the mirror every morning.  From talking to my friends, the reason most men lost interest is because their women lost interest.  Keep it up and don't be afraid to experiment.  A recent experiment with my wife and I has had unbelievable benefits.
596027
He sounds a complete asshole...I'm not surprised you've lost your sex drive.\nDump him,move on,meet a guy who respects and cares for you,your desires will be restored!
1061589
TWO YEARS IS ABOUT RIGHT TO PROPOSE.....MAYBE YOU JUST AREN'T READY