hello, i was wondering about when will the hurt of your ex-girlfriend goes away even since we had children?
464791
Hey. I have been there, done that. Listen to me carefully. When does the hurt go away?  when YOU let go. look at the facts. Your girlfriend signed false papers on you, how can you miss that? How can you miss having someone stab you in the back? Stop thinking and remembering the "good" times you had and remember the last time you had. She signed false papers on you. you are going to have to get mad, and let it dissipate, naturally. It can take a week or two. Stop digging up bones. go forward. There are very good women out there that will treat you right and not lie on you.
516167
my dad's inability to let go of the past.  He is still hurting over my parents's divorce of 18 years ago.  I still think about the girl that broke my heart back in HS.
563261
I'm in Australia, so there isn't much I can help you with in regards to the laws of your country, assuming you live somewhere else. But congratulations for being a great man and father and seeing your kids as people you love not just a responsibility. Whatever happens, your children will grow up knowing they are in an environment of love and support and that will be a huge benefit and source of comfort for them. I'm separated, with five kids and their father has moved on with his life and that life doesn't involve them. Its had a ravaging effect on them emotionally. There should be more men like you. I know things are really hard and I can see how you would be feeling down and frustrated. Just remember a close family will survive anything. Good Luck. You have lucky children.
283848
I myself am now just getting my divorce finalized at the end of the month. The amount of time varies with how comfortable you feel about seeing another person. It takes some time to get adjusted to the "single life". I have to agree that you don't want to introduce your children to someone that isn't serious. It's bad enough you had your heart broken by someone but you don't want your kids to go thru that over and over. It doesn't make you look good as a parent and your kids will grow up seeing you differently. Bottom line is there is no set time limit. It's all on how and when you feel yourself when you are ready.
1143782
If you are finding it difficult to move on , it might be a good thing that she moves away ! The less you have to see her , the better off you will be ! I went through the same thing about a year ago , with the father of my children. \n    Luckily 4 me , i guess--> it made me see him in a whole nother light . I started to see him 4 the scum that he is , 4 the first time fully in our 8 1/2 year relationship !\n    Right now , he is living about 5 blocks from our house w/ his new girl--> the one that he cheated with . He does'nt pay child support , & never wants to see our children . \n     He actually had the balls to call me today , and think that he deserved some special recognition from our daughter because it was Fathers Day. I told him that until he started being a father , and starts making sure that his children are taken care of---> he deserves nothing from them ! ie : if he can't help to support them , or spend time with them on a regular basis--> he might as well just be classified as a sperm donor---> which is someone that has no rights !\n   I have actually had our childrens healthcare cancelled , because he refused to give me the things i needed from him to renew thier insurance . And , he has let his children go hungry , because he refuses to send them some sort of support .\n    You , atleast don't have to worry about all of that ! Your\nson will be taken care of-->just as my kids will . Just please , make sure you help her out with your son , and spend some quality time with him as often as you can !\n   The ladies will come & go , and most more than likely there is another waiting right around the  corner 4 you !\nShe is obviously not the one 4 you , so go out and have some fun responsibly---> and you will find someone to help you take your mind off of her !
354794
THAT IS REALLY A DIFFICULT QUESTION. THE PAIN CAN NEVER EVER BE ERASED COMPLETELY. BUT TIME WILL PROBABLY LESSEN THE PAIN BIT BY BIT. PROBABLY TO A TINY PRICK IN YOUR HEART NOW AND THEN. WITH TIME YOU WILL LEARN TO FORGET ,WELL ALMOST FORGET , AND PROBABLY RELIVE THE SWEET MEMORIES WHICH ARE ASSOCIATED WITH YOUR WIFE.TRY TO REMEMBER THE NICE THINGS AND TRAIN YOURSELF TO FACE REALITY. WHAT HAS HAPPENED CANNOT EVER BE REVERTED, BUT YOU HAVE TO CARRY ON, FOR THE SAKE OF YOURSELF AND YOUR OTHER BELOVED ONES.BE BRAVE MAN. THINGS WILL BE SOLVED BY TIME ITSELF. PRAY TO GOD TO EASE YOUR PAIN.BEST OF LUCK.
209639
I had a ex of my get it once. it was about 2 years ago.  I thought about it the other day, brought up the "what if" question, but i wasn't in the position at the time to devote everything to a kid, so I think of it that way.
240763
It's not a good idea but it's a great idea. I think it's important for you to get back with your ex because you have to do it for your kids and their own future. But if the two of you argued a lot then it's better to have seperate kids with you because when a couple argue and there's kids involved they will affected mentally and physically. But it's still up to you, it's your decision.
1143503
Oh,Honey do I know how u feel!I am going through the same thing as I write.In fact I go to court this Thursday.Let me tell ya,it's very,very hard to deal with.Whether u did something wrong or not doesn't make it any easier.I'd like to tell u about my situation and how I deal with it,but this site does not allow enough space.If you want to talk more about it e-mail me @ kalasmom3@yahoo.com Or IM me @ either yahoo messenger or AIM.I'd love to try to help.Maybe we can help each other.Also,since I have almost 18 months in one child's being gone and 7 years in the other maybe I can offer some advice on how to fight to get them back.oh,my screen name on AIM is turntheclkbac.
154320
truthfully your ex's never get over you entirely. in any relationship with a true connection there will always be something that reminds you of why you were together. even in bad breakups and relationships you never really get over it you just find something or someone else that lets it fade away but i know when im reminded by someone of when we were "together" my mind rambles on about them for a while.  you just can tell when they have gotten over you enough to feel comfortable around you without wanting or wandering why everything is the way it is now. hopefully you will remain friends. then you cant say you lost anything.
56866
definately not.. in the long run it will only hurt you and the kids... its not good to keep the kids in a unhealthy relationship.
567630
Been right where you are and I certainly feel your pain.  Truth is I did take him back only to be broken yet again. We have been apart for three years now and my life is so much better while he is still up to his same tricks of abusing the next one. Alcoholic behavior and tendencies will not change.  10 months is certainly not long enough to heal old wounds he has.  There is a better life...I found one.  You and your children deserve to be treated with love and respect, not something to be knocked around or controlled in any manor.  I wish you all the best.
1170990
i have just posted a question with problems i am having with getting over my ex and then i saw your question. so this is my answer............ i have left my job, my house my dog my family my friends my town and moved about 300 miles away not telling anybody where i am and never wanting to ever speak to anybody ever again because they all remind me of him. i am 30  years old and feel i should grow up but the pain is so bad.
481120
My heart really goes out to you, I can't imagine what you are going through with your daughter. It sounds like you have made a great start with the day to day stuff and i think this is the best thing to do -concentrate on each day and don't look too far ahead. Rely on your family and friends and don't stop talking about it, play with your baby and wait. The waiting is the hardest part, but if you take it slowly and don't set a time limit - don't say for example that by next week you will have stopped crying, or that by next month you will be over him and don't judge your own 'get over him' time by someone elses, everybody does things in their own way. But i promise you that if you keep doing what you're doing it will go away, it really will, you just have to wait. Wishing you all future happiness xxxx
105956
First off, if you still had feelings for an ex you should have never broke it off with her in the first place. Second having a child is no piece of cake for anyone and is a big responsibility, but if you both stick together it will seem less scarier for the both of you and will make you both better people in the end.
583657
Often when a relationship is over the rose colored glasses come on and we only remember the best times. If this relationship is truly over with no chance for reconciliation do this; Think of all the things that annoyed you about the person, or the pet peeves you couldn't stand. Trust me, no one is perfect so dig down deep and write all those uglies down and keep them close by. When the ex creeps into your mind read those things about them and remember. You may always have a special place in your heart for them, but it doesn't mean you can not or should not MOVE on! Trust me, my son's father I thought I would not be able to BREATHE without him but I wrote down all the ugly things and never forgot them. We are now platonic friends, he is married and so am I and we will always be connected because of our son but I like the way it has all played out and honestly, If i could get back with him I Wouldn't. Good Luck. "Time Heals all wounds."
522100
In your situation I'm not quite sure that there is a right thing to do. My suggestion would be to talk with her and if she too feels that the relationship is over, then maybe you two should consider joint custody. That way, you never have to live without your child in your life. Find a solution where the least amount of pain is caused. It's a tought situation and I wish you all the best.