Help I wanna get away from my disfunctional family?
455187
I hate to say this, as I am from a poisonous family, too, but the rot starts at the root. The first thing you have to do is get away from everyone and sort yourself out. That means cutting everyone off. Good and bad. It's like a drug addiction. A heroine addict can't get off the junk and live in the same neighborhood. \n\nFirst step is move away. Get a new home, apartment, tent, whatever. Get a new phone number and e-mail address. When these folks contact you, and they will, tell them very politely, that you need to straighten out your life for a while and that you will contact them when you are able to.\n\nStep two. When you have made a clean break, seek professional help. You cannot do this alone. You have been part of a disfunctional, abusive cycle probably your whole life. Time to end it. \n\nStep three. You'll know what to do when you get there and no one can tell you what it is or how to do it. It's a little different for all of us.\n\nI began at step two and went to step one and back to step two and bounced around like a ping-pong ball. Now I'm ready for step three. Good luck to you. I hope you are as successful in your journey and adventure as I have been in mine.
192618
tell her you need a little space.\nor perhaps that you moved to canada.\n\nbut i just try to avoid them.\nlike if i'm on the phone with them and i don't want to talk very long, i tell my mom to yell at me to get off the phone.\nthen act all bummed that i have to get off the phone with them.\nalso, if they want me to go somewhere with them or do something, i tell them my mom said that i can't.  and pretend to be mad at her.\n\ntrust me, it works.
798829
Move out and move on.  You are obviously not happy with him and you need to do what is best for you.  Be positive and strong and discuss the situation with your family.  Good luck.
462755
one day when your around your family and she is leaving kiss her good bye on the mouth and go from there if she is who you want to be with dont let your familys opionion affect your decision if they love you they will support you and if they dont dont worry about it
69058
My mom used to pack us off to the park (I was the oldest and in charge) and spend time sleeping or cleaning up the house in peace. Possibly, you could stage a weekend sleep over at their cousin's house or someone you trust. Best of luck.\nK.
906570
Oh Kirk - you need to get out of there as soon as you can.  You deserve better.  There is help and support out there. No one has the right to treat you like that.  Are there any agencies you could contact ? And please contact your mom or another close relative or someone you feel you can trust.  I guess you much feel totally alone and scared and adults have not exactly been a source of trust for you.  Believe me you need to get out.  I wish I could help  I truly do.  I am in Scotland.  I am not surprised that you feel so bad about your life.  IT IS NOT your fault please believe that.  Contact someone and get yourself to safety.
673227
When they leave change the locks and go on a trip. Then have the police watch your home while you are gone. Make sure you give their things to someone you trust that will give the things to your unwanted guest. It worked for me.
75353
Spend time with my family
1043252
i hate being home to.  do whatever you can so you never have to live there and get yourself some good roomates.  when i used to have to move home for the summer i got a cat so that she was my little buddy and an escape for me. my mom's the same as yours as far as morals go.  just keep your mouth shut and deal with it because telling her what she doesn't want to hear will just cause conflict and make you more depressed.
970590
Oh I struggle with this constantly but for different reasons. My parents are addicts. There comes a time in life when you must concentarte on you. If those around you, particularily family have reached toxic levels where they are poisoning your own life, it's best to back off and distant yourself. I would not write them off entirely, I've thought about doing it myself, but it all comes back to they are family and we cannot choose our family and like them or not, through them we are here. I don't know how old you are, but if you are younger I would suggest possibly just distancing yourself and speaking up with the issues you disagree with and make certain they know that it hurts your feelings and do not entertain their ignorant remarks and actions by giving any other reaction other than telling them that at this point and time you do not agree with their opinions. If you are young, there could be possibly something else going on that they are actually concerned about that you aren't seeing just yet. However if it's purely based on race, I'd keep my feet planted in your beliefs and hopefully with time after you stay away from them for awhile they'll realize their love for you is stronger than their hate for another.  I wouldn't give your father any special treatment either, because he is encouraging everyone around him by not speaking up if he truly is aware of their issues and agrees with you. Sounds to me like your father may be ignorant as well, and only agrees with you in private for fear of losing his little girl. All you can do is stand strong in your beliefs, distance yourself from how involved with them you are, but I wouldn't write them out entirely. Now if they begin to do anything harmful that causes extreme physical or emotional grief then I would cut them off entirely. Hopefully with time though and your distance from each other they'll see that they were wrong and have second thoughts on their ideas and opinions, especially if the man you love becomes a true gem and treats you the way they always hoped a man you'd find would. Good luck though, racism is ugly and deeply rooted in those who are and often continues on in people out of their own fears. Just be thankful that somehow by the grace of God their ignorance didn't rub off on you as you were growing up, as if often sadly the case with those raised by parents with beliefs such as that. Enjoy the love you have found and ignore what they say. Find comfort with the one you love and through his family until and if yours ever comes around to their senses! God Bless you dear. Oh and pray for them because it sounds like they need it!!
280028
First off *HUGS*!\n\nSecond off, unfortunately there is nothing youc an do to make them stop.  Be it your mom, dad, step mom or sibling, that choice has to come from them.  And remember, its not your fault.\n\nHow old are you?  It really sounds like you are in an abusive situation.  I would talk to a councelor at school and let them know whats going on.  Are you living with this family member?  Is there anyone else you could stay with?  As far as your step mom goes, can you talk to your dad?  If you can't talk to him or her, you need to let her comments go.  Realize you are none of the horrible things being said to you.  Sometimes, its unfortunate but you have to take a mental break from the people in your life.  Your step-mom or dad if they are the ones that you have the issue with.  You are a strong young person and this is a very short yet impressionable time in your life.  \n\nTell youself you are your own person and you will not let the rest of you're life be the summation of this small time frame.  And that you will not end up like them in your future.  I know this is hard though and you don't always have to believe it in certain moments, but when always remind yourself and eventually it wont be so hard to remember. \n\nAre there other activities you can do?  Maybe take up volunteer work or a sports activity to get you out of the house as much as possible?  Its always good to have someone to talk to.  Like I said, go see a councelor at school.  If you feel you can't do this, there are Alateen meetings all over.  They are connected to Alcoholics Anonymous in the fact they are for family members of alcoholics.  You can meet other people in your situation and it can be a great support.\n\nBe strong love, you are your own person and can get through this, and there is NEVER anything wrong with yourself or asking for help.  You'll be in my thoughts and prayers.
1119545
Well hunn sounds like some problems for sure.\ni have been in a simaler sitution i hate to say this but the fact is if they dont see a problem they wont get help they wont listen and they want to ignore the obvious but that is not you and yes maybe difficult and mental issues do run in family's i myself had the same problems with my family . the only thing i can say better yourself dont hold on to the anger and maybe suggest  your counsiler request your family  go to a session with you also remeber that as soon as you are old enough move out though maybe hard to do it is easier than you would even imagine just know you can and you will do fine some family's are just stubborn. anyways goodluck and i hope it helped even if it was a little. take care hunn!
263135
Hmm. I'm in a similar situation, however I'm not legally allowed to move out for a few more months, or at least not without going to court, which I'd prefer not to do. I simply (a) avoid them as much as possible. I go out and do fun things, and then both sides are happy--or at least not fighting--and (b) if something comes up, I take the easist route out. I'll defend myself for a little while, but right before it gets ugly, I let them think they're right. Now, never ADMIT that they're right, but just kinda pretend that you do. This will end the argument much sooner, because usually all people want is to know they're right. Even if you think this is cowardly, it shows you're actually much stronger and more mature than your parents. However, this can build up a lot of aggression, so remember to do something that will help take it out, like going to the gym or something. I clean and rearrange the furniture in my room. It helps, but I'm weird. *lol* But yea, best of luck!
1096832
Yeh, run an ad in the  newspapers announcing you are severing ties with your siblings .......place in their names and social security numbers. Send a notification card to all relatives and friends about it. See lawyer for better clarification.
872969
hey, \n\nWhat I would do is #1 tell your lanlord that if he doesnt stop threatening your family members then you are going to file a report to the police. #2 Ask them if you are paying the rent at all. Then if they answer Yes then ask them if they would rather you pay the rent late or not pay the rent at all.\n\nI am sorry for your problems but I cant help you other than this suggestion. \nI hope every thing ends up ok
780033
Being that I have a sister that does the EXACT same thing I can honestly answer "yes" you/me have been used.  All the things you've explained are very familiar sounding.  The problem lies in them being spoiled rotten and getting everything given and done for them.  Do what I did and put your foot down, enough is enough eventually he'll realize what is going on and the shoe will be on the other foot.  It got to the point where my sister was monopolizing all of my time and resources that my own family was going without, and that wasn't happening anymore.  It's called tough love and unfortunately it has to be done.  Good luck and I'll be thinking of you because I know how painful it's going to be.  But to answer your question...yes of course your brother loves you.
412093
You seriously need to make some serious changes. You have to create boundaries. It sounds like the requests you have made are falling on deaf hears. It seems to me you are trying to make everyone happy except yourself. Tell them if you are going to live in my house these are the rules if they don't like them they can leave. When your mom came back you could of asked her why are you here? When she said why do i have to tell them to pay the electric bill, it was because she is the one who invited them to stay. The things you are going to have to do will be uncomfortable. Your family will not like the new assertive you. Your mom is dependent on you and you are her co dependent. When she threatened you by saying she was going to leave and you said fine go ahead she was testing you. She did leave but she came back and you let her stay. So now what you say and what she says and your actions don't match. It's like when a parent tells his child no but then lets them have what they want. You have to back up what you say with actions and stick to them. You have fallen into the role of parent. You are not the parent you are the child but now your mom is acting like the child and now you are her parent. I think she should help you more. Do you want your brothers there? You did nothing wrong what i think you possibly feel is guilt because it is your mother and you feel obligated but your not obligated. No one should be taken advantage of.