I'm really scared to talk to my husband.  I'm not happy at all.?
473868
Oh boy...you need to just leave him. He's playing mind games with you so you won't leave life is way too short to stay in a relationship out of pity and guilt. If you make the first step in leaving him maybe he will clue in that you are serious.Leave him a letter explaining why you have left as well as some Alcoholics Anonymous pamphlets maybe he will clue in and get help and if you feel like things could be worked out seek counselling alone as well as with him. I have a Friend who went through a similar situation and she finally left the guy and he used to say he'd kill himself if she left...well she left and he's still alive.He too has a major drinking problem but won't admit to it. It's really sad, I think, that anyone would chose booze over their spouse.try your best to get him help but don't do all the footwork for him make him see that he's hurting you and leave asap.
1035283
I know how you feel.  My husband used to be the same way.  It is a horrible way to live, isn't it?  Just remember that he has a problem and needs help.  Divorce was not an option for me so I stuck it out, hoping that he would change.  He did.   With a little maturing, antidepressants (for both of us I might add) and patience, we made it.\nI always wanted the kind of marriage my mom and dad have.   Loving, caring for one another, laughter and respect.  It took many years, but I finally got it.  We have been married 29 years this year.  It was soooo difficult though.  But well worth the wait.  Please try to talk to your husband about antidepressants.  It really helps my husband not be so angry and irritable all the time.  If you don't feel like you take it anymore (and I know how that is, too)  talk to someone.  It can help more than you realize.  If I can help in some way, please send me an e-mail.  I would be glad to listen.  I didn't have anyone that I felt comfortable enough with to tell all the sorted details to.  Didn't want mom and dad to know how bad things really were.  Good luck and I will say a little prayer for you and your family....:)
566977
he probably has some really heavy stuff on his mind right now. if you talked of getting married and starting a family, then he may just be in a place where he has to think. i would say that all you can do is honestly tell him how you feel, not angrily or accusitorily, and give him room.
638099
Some jitters and questioning are normal and I do not think you are over the top on that. There are things you may want to change about yourself by not nagging as much. All men are moody and only you know if you will be happier with him. The mother in law issue could bring real unhappiness and she is way over the top. I have to ask myself why he would tolerate her screaming at you. You are marrying a family as well as your husband.
519470
maybe he dont want to admit it to you, the reasonn for this are that all men are selfish and if they cant get there way then why not make ours miserables to, the thing we have to do as women is remeber that we should not be talked to down to or disrespected for that matter.Maybe is he truely unhappy with his life and wants your to be miserable with him, have you given him any reason to resent you for any reason, where yall young when yall got married, maybe he didt finsish college or anything that you may have done for him to act this way, if not girlfriend and you the road ahead is alot clearer then get out, pretty much what your doing is letting this man talk down to you and disrespect you, name calling is not fun for anyone and eventually it will get worse with time, after so much of this ABUSE you wil be tired of it, I hope that your smart enough not to have kids involved in this relationship if so yall are really headed for lots of trouble, I wish you well and if you wanna chat send me email if you would like cqueen742003@yahoo.com i hope all goes well for you, dont let him tear you aprat becuase he is not happy
220052
sorry to hear you let it get that far, i'm sure you are too. normally, i would say talk to your mate. but in this instance i would have to say you need to figure out in your head and heart what you really want and get you priorities worked out. your children are the ones who would really suffer for your indiscretions. i'm sure that is not what you want. but if your husband finds out, i don't think he'll be very understanding or forgiving. i wouldn't. but if you wan to save your marriage, then i would focus entirely on my husband and my marriage and making him happy. kiss butt, in other words. secretly, of course. one day, if you feel your marriage is strong enough, then you can tell him. the only thing that is going to help is your conscience. honestly, you may learn a bigger lesson by having to carry this secret and not burden your husband with what you did. sorry.
925096
if your skin crawls...even sometimes...you just answered my first question...you don't want to be married to this guy.  Possibly you have a fear of the unknown and what may or may not lay ahead for you.  Maybe you feel you deserve this and no better.  Maybe it's financial fears.  Whatever they are, when you hit rock bottom with him, you'll know it and then, in your own time, you'll make your decision to stay and live with it or go.  There won't be questions or fears once you choose.  It's really not so bad on your own.  The trade offs, even if financial, are worth it.  I love coming home to peace and quiet and never having to wonder where the land mines are in my own home.  I wish you the very best.
86634
I feel ya on this one, this goes back to my question I just posted about letting your guard down. I would def. talk to him b/c if he feels something different and is to afraid to say something or maybe its the opposite, things need to be worked out. Communication is the key
392028
I know how you feel, I'm also married to an uncaring man.  It's really hard to be with a selfish person.  I'd say try to talk to him, but he may not be responsive.  If he loves you, he'll honor your request to talk about the way your lives is going.  If he doesn't, busy yourself with friends and hobbies.  Sometimes they make an about face when you're not at their beck and call.  But no matter what happens, be strong, you have you and your daughter to worry about.  Good Luck!
612557
sweetie. you need to have a talk with him. don't continue to be unhappy. it's not healthy. ask him what are his plans as far as the marriage is concerned. hope things get better for you.
552507
An infatuation which wll ruin your marriage. You're supposed to be a grown man, yet you sound like a child who can't control himself. Do you really want to ruin your marriage, his marriage and your friendship with him? Not a good idea at all. I think it's best to see a therapist as they can help you understand what you are feeling and you can think a little clearer on the issue. Then hopefully you can make the best decision, but trust me, making a pass at him could freak him out and the last thing you want is for him to feel uncomfortable around you.
758952
i too went through this, 10 years of it, whenever we were having any discussion he would turn it around and i would be made the problem, it escalated into name calling, fat hog, slut, really bad names. whenever he did not get his way or wouldn't stick up for me to his son, no matter what the problem, he would change the subject and suddenly i became the problem. after awhile our communication suffered, actually i was too afraid to even bring anything up, did not feel safe, knew i would be the focus, and if he couldn't find a problem with me, he would make one up. just causes resentment and eventually someone will get so angry that they will stray from the marriage. think the problems stem from a more serious thing, it's never about what they say about you, or the names u get called, it runs deeper than that, think it's about something they feel they are not getting out of the marriage.
183469
He has some serious problems with control. I would think if this is the way I wanted to live. He has no right to tell you that you can't do something. He is your husband not anything else. K
1109525
First of all unless anyone has walked in your shoes they should not be judging you.  I am going through the same thing right now.  It has not been easy for me.  This person is a friend of mine and my husbands, he is also married.  We were chatting then one thing lead to another, the chat turned sexual and from there I formed an emotional bond with this man. Nothing has happend physically but  it has totally messed up my emotions, I feel like I am a mess since this has happend.  I have a great husband, and I am no longer communicating with our friend, but honestly I always think about him and miss him, why I don't know but it has been real hard.  This is one door I wish I never would have opened.  I don't know your details but the one thing I can tell you is to ask yourself what led you to do this, I had to do the same and I am in counseling right now.  Believe me I did not expect this hardship when I first started dabbling in this, it seemed harmless and kind of fun, but like they say when you play with fire, you will get burned and that I did.
1138966
Girl you need to do whats right for you and your kids.If you feel like he's not taking you seriously then you have to figure out if its really a problem for you if so you need to let him know this is how you feel, and if he's still acting like he don't care then girl get up and do it.I know he's your husband but don't let nobody stop you from doing something you want to do.Sounds like he trying to keep you on lock..
793191
Hello there! I know how you feel as I have a fiancee with same problem. However, he is on therapy for something much worse so he also treated social anxiety....for a bit.....but i read a lot about it to be able to understand him and help him....all I can say now he is back to his university :), he is so much better!!! Definitly if you can, go to therapy it really helps, and you have to keep yourself in contact with social events so you don't get rasty too much :) as fear tends to grow in our minds for the things we are afraid of, and we are afraid of the things we don't know. So force yourself into it, and you will see after some time you will have more confidence, and you will see that it's not so scary as it seemed. In my "research" to help my fiancee I found this site that could be of a great help to you as well. It's a forum where you can chat with people with same problems as yours, just to know you are not alone...maybe you find out much more about your fear through them and their posts. www.socialanxietysupport.com\nGood luck!
356654
I'm sorry you are living in such fear, but you are letting him continue to harm you by living in that fear. He does not deserve to haunt you, instead he should have been punished. You did the right thing by telling and you should be proud of yourself for not being silent.\nPlease go your parents or another trusted adult and let them know how you feel. You need to go thru counseling and a support group to help you and how your feeling. \n\nI wish you the best of luck!