What would you say to the mother of a fallen soldier, who had no chance to say goodbye ?
469906
I am sorry for your loss, but so very grateful that you raised a son/daughter who so willingly sacrificed their life for the freedoms we enjoy.  So please accept my 'thank you' on behalf of this fallen hero.
552986
I'm sorry to hear of your loss. Yes, it is okay that you don't want to be a pall bearer. I think they will understand that you are just not up to doing so. may her memories comfort you at this sad time. \n\nTake Care!!
924795
I placed an item in friend and fellow Soldier's casket. It was a small medallion of St. Christopher 'traveler's saint'. \n\nTraditionally there is nothing against it - just ask the familiy first. \n\nI am sorry for your loss. To the Soldier - thank you for your service.\n\n 'Gratias Ago Tibi'
689573
my heart goes out to you miss.a mothers' love is a blessing.did your mum have or do you have siblings. sometimes when we grieve we feel other family members are less sensitive or caring than they should be. this too makes the grief harder to bear.the memories of your mum will lessen and gently fade away, but never forgotten, the cherished moments will be an everlasting treasure.forever. soon you will be in a new stage a new beginning of love and happiness.sieze the moment miss, and devote your time and enery to this new unlimited life.your mum would wish this for your well-being.totally and absolutely. here is a wee poem it used to hang in my mothers'house,our house.it's called  Today, Yesterday has vanished,we only know today,Tomorrow is a vision,forever on the way.The thrill of daily action,the hopes and glories too.Are crowded in the moments that TODAY will hold for you.  good luck.
733977
Sorry to hear it, you should try and find a way to tell your mother, it won't be east but she needs to know. You could try contacting a bereavement counselling service such as cruse or a similar organisation.\nA great site for finding people is B4USEARCH.COM you just put in the full name or even just the surname and the town or city and it shows you all the details you need, it's great for finding lost friends and relatives. Click the link. http://www.b4usearch.com/
1123745
I would tell our troops thank you for doing a job that so many people are a fraid to do!\nI would tell them that they are brave for fighting a war that so many people believe is an unjust war!\n I would thank their families for being unselfish and  allowing there family member to fight for the rights of their country!\n I would tell their children to be brave and do not be mad at the parent for having to leave! \nI would thell the spouse to love and support them even though they are not home to help with the problems and continue to love and support them when they come home and they are not the same person who left!\nI would tell them that it is ok to be scared!\nAND;;;\nFinally I would tell them to BE SAFE and come home to their families!\n\nThe soldiers are doing more than any person can ever be asked to do----Defending there country! I am so proud to be an American!
928502
Dear Lord Jesus, I lift up to you Daisy's son and husband.  You know the needs here and I ask that You meet these needs, Lord.  Help Daisy's husband to stay safe in Iraq and guide and direct him every day so that he may be able to return home soon and safe.  Please help Daisy's son with his ADHD.  Please help the lad to stop being so sad and to start being happy.  Please ease the pain that he is feeling from missing his father so much and please give him the encouragement in knowing that he will see his dad again soon.  Please be with Daisy as she takes care of three children.  Give her the energy, the strength, and the patience that she needs.  I ask these things in Jesus' Holy Name, Amen.\n\nGod bless you Daisy.  I hope your husband returns home soon safe and sound.
204525
It is a natural as birth, I my father died two years ago. He had a maintainable decease Ulcerative colitis. But at 72 he was tired of living. He felt he had done what he was put here to do and there was no talking him out of it. They put him on painkillers and sent him home. He died six months later. It's tempting to say "lost", but this isn't the case in reality. Those who pass over are ever present in our lives. At times you will even hear them speak when you are having troubles. Right now your mother in law is in a safe place and at peace. There is no time, no pain, there is no fear or suffering. Better by far than the place where we live today. If you look ahead I know it sounds far fetched, but you will see her again soon. Time isn't what you think it is.. So waste non of it. 20 years from now this will make even more sense.
451491
As I lost my husband to cancer and having adult children, I must tell you that your mother does need you. Your husband will and should understand. No matter what anyone says, to hear that he will be in a better place once the battle is over, will be of no comfort to your mother. It will not lift her burden of taking care of him for all this time either. It's not a burden when you love someone. I'd rather have my husband here. Yes, he's no longer in pain, and yes I'm happy he's not, but when that loss finally happens, you'd rather have him here regardless. \n\nYour mother will not be prepared for the loss when it happens, just as you won't. It's impossible to prepare for that even when you know it's inevitable. I was exhausted from caregiving, I felt alone. You find it hard to talk about your fears to your children, and you find it hard to relay these fears to the person you're taking care of. Your mother needs caregiving too, and she will need you there after your dad loses the battle he's fought so hard in. You will need comfort too, but realize how big of a loss this will be for your mom. You will get that comfort from your husband, but your mom will no longer have her husband to comfort her, she'll need it from you. You don't have to put on a face. Your mother knows it's ripping you apart too. Share that with her, listen to her and reassure her just as she would reassure you. \n\nI feel your pain and your mom's pain. My thoughts are with you.
801187
If you love her, tell her.\n\nIf you owe her any apologies, apologize.\n\nIf you want to know anything, ask her.\n\nTake solace in the fact that you have the opportunity so few have been given.  My mother and I had a "falling out" over ten years ago.  During that whole time we never spoke or communicated in any way.  Four weeks ago she died in a car wreck.\n\nUse this chance for all it's worth.
565229
in his/her grief, your friend would tend to tell stories about his/her mother. just listen to him/her talk. be patient.
734724
I am so sorry to hear about your mom. my mom pass away not long ago so  I know your pain, I can tell you that you never stop missing her and it's hard around the holidays. I will pray for you that God comforts you doing your time of sorrow. he already has your mom and although you miss her and still need her she is pain free and in a better place.
512535
You both are young. The death of a loved one at any age is hard. All the other answers says it all. You can't cheer her up. Nothing will at this time. You didn't say if she believed in God. But that is what is helping me right now.It was her Mom's time. It's sad that she had to go via car wreck. Let her cry. Here are some ideas that I have done and will do myself(I lost my 82 year old Mama in March this year). I planted a small flower garden in her memory. Nothing big or elaborate. My Mama loved flowers any and all. Her b-day is in a week. We still plan on having her a party.I'm getting helium balloons and we are going to write her a special message and let them go. We realize she won't get them, but hey-Who knows?? Just be there when she needs a shoulder to cry on. Let her remember her Mom. Remind her of something funny her Mom did. Don't let her dwell on the bad times that all mothers and daughters have. I can tell you; us Moms wouldn't want our children to remember those times. Sit down with her if she wants to look at pictures of her and her Mom in happier times. Some people will tell her thats the wrong thing to do. Maybe-Maybe not. God will help her.Have her read scriptures in the Bibles that will encourage her.Just be her friend.Her Mom is just a memory away.I'll be praying for you and her.You will have a rough road being her friend, her pain is yours. God Bless you for wanting to help her.
678625
Do what you think is best to reslove the situation,.... any questions, soldier?
1174723
I am 58, and in those years I have lost friends and loved one including both parents.  My only suggestion to you is to do what you need to for yourself.  In my opinion this is by far the most important thing a survivor can do.  When my Dad died, I did a number of things.  I was always with the him if he wasn't locked away somewhere safe.  I had my Boy Scout pin buried with him, my Mother gave me his pin.  Scouting was important to both of us.  I flew with him to his final resting place.  I put the first shovel full of dirt in the grave.  At one point my Mother became worried about me, my Brother understood.  He told Mother I was on a mission and would be back as soon as the mission was complete.  You see I am retired from the military and we do things a bit different.  So do what you need to do for yourself, you never want to look back and say "I wish I had done thus and such".\n\nThe important thing to remember is that what you are feeling is perfectly normal.  There are stages of grief as follows:\n\nDENIAL --- The just can't be dead.\nANGER --- Why did they have to die?\nBARGAINING --- God help me get through this.\nDEPRESSION --- Oh God, what am I going to do. \nACCEPTANCE --- OK, they are dead and I am powerless to do anything about it.  I must live on...\n\nOne more story.  When my Dad died I decided to cut his lawn the following day.  When I tried to start the mower, it was out of gas.  At that moment I was absolutely dumb struck.  I didn't know what to do.  I didn't think to look for a gas can, it never occurred to me that I could buy some, and so on.  If it hadn't been for a neighbor, I would still be setting on that empty lawn mower in the middle of the garage with absolutely no clue as to what to do next.\n\nI hope this helps some.  I understand how much you are hurting and I am terribly sorry for your loss.  It will take some time, but rest assured, you will get through this.  \n\nContact information is available on my profile.
501097
First, Im sorry that you are going through such a horrific experience. However, Your are comforting your mother in the best way possible. Telling her the truth helps her prepare and say and do the things she needs to before leaving this place. Your honesty will let her lay in peace and your love will keep her alive longer warm and happy!\n\nMy thoughts are are with you and your family! xoxox
1060487
When my children were born, that's a miracle.  When my mother died I was 50 miles away she kissed me on the cheek, whispered good bye and said she loved me and I felt an intense heat throughout my body for a few moments.  I pulled my car off the road and called my brother to ask about mom he said he had just checked on her 10 minutes ago and she was just fine, I asked him to please check again because I thought she was gone.  He did and the next thing I heard was my brother crying because mom had died.  There is no doubt mom visited me the moment she died.  Earlier in the morning she had told me about the Angel's that were standing by her dresser at the foot of her bed she said they were there for her.  As I brushed her hair she said they had come several times and they were back.  When I left to run home she was fine, everyone knew I wanted to be with her when she passed because no one should die alone and she knew that so she came to me, I have never forgotten and she gave me peace.