2 days after my mother died my wife asked for a divorce. Should I grant one?
456893
Well, obviously it is not a new idea to her, and it may be that your moodiness is exactly the problem that has made her think about it.  Honestly, you don't want to try to hold onto her if she wants to go, and you can always find someone new.  \n\nAs long as you have been married, you should have a little trouble getting use to dating again, but once you do you won't be sorry to be on your own.  \n\nThere are lots of single women out there to enjoy, so do it.  Let her go.  She has voiced it, and it is pretty much inevitable I think.\n\nYou could try counseling, if you want to save it, But you must do something.  Don't expect it to just go away.  Don't blame her for the timing.  Realize that this is something that has been building for some time.
588331
You need to check with your state of residency.  Some states require couples to be married a minumum amount of time before either party would be eligible for alimony from the other.  You said she WANTS alimony,  which suggests to me that it hasn't been granted just yet.  I hope that you have an attorney,  because from the sounds of it,  you are going to need one.  There are so many factors the law takes into consideration when choosing to grant or not grant alimony.  Does she work?  Was she ever working during the course of the marriage?  By the marriage ending,  is she going to be far worse off financially?  Good luck  (and yes,  wanting one's independence but demanding alimony doesn't seem hypocritical in my eyes).....\n\nand BTW,  in response to the second poster's comment,  YES,  there ARE women who pay alimony to men.  Alimony is not child support.  It's spousel support that continues after two people are no longer married.
703673
If your grandfather was remarried when he died, then his land and things belong to his new wife, that is if he didn't have a will.  She can decide what she wants to do with his stuff.  Why was it never attempted to try and discover if your mother was actually his daughter??  Sounds like they waited a little to late.
547767
Taking her to court to enforce visitation for you will open a HUGE can of worms.  I'm not sure if you are thinking of the big picture here.  You may not be up to what she can rein down on you.  She can make up any story she wants to about you and bring you into court, dragged through the mud.  Legally, she can say whatever she wants to say about you to make it look as though you should not come within 100 feet of those kids either.  I've been there in a BIG way.  There is nothing like having your reputation as a normal, loving, upstanding person questioned.  And who is the court going to believe?  They believe her as much as they believe you.  Then you'll have to deal with a court liason running a fine toothed comb through your life and home to see if you are fit.  You've never felt so insulted and violated in your life and it's something you can scarecly recover from, even though it's for the love of a child.  I know you want to see your grandkids and I honestly believe in my heart that you will in time.  Right now, try to reason with her like a human being and appeal to her sense of compassion.  She is probably afraid that the kids will end up with your son when they are supposed to be with you and that's a normal way to feel.  I guarantee that trying to force this with her will only make things worse and make your life a living hell.  Please, for the sake of the kids, try to be patient.  It is terrible to see little ones stuck in the middle of this.  All of a sudden, they will feel as though they shouldn't trust you or they are wrong for loving you because their Mom is angry with you for forcing visitation.  They've already got mixed up feelings about not being able to see their Dad.  And then when they are with you, they'll feel guilty for loving Mom.  There is no way to win here.  I strongly suggest you wait it out.  She will cool down eventually and let you see the kids, but she has to do it in her own time.  As long as you hold your tounge and be ready the minute she says ok, you'll be rewarded.\nGod bless.
738019
If i didnt have my son then yes i would die for my hubby. It would be selfish of me to leave my son without a mom,,considering im the only one besides my mom he has. I think you should have tried to help her more instead of leaving her. She never talked to you again beause she probably figured that if you two were to get married or something you would never have her back,,,you just left her to die..to look out for your own self. I would try and help anyone in that situation being family or noone i even knew....but thats just me.
185458
It is clear that she is going to fast.  Maybe the two of you should spend a little time by yourself for awhile.  See other people and see how your feelings sort themselves out after another period of 62 years.
419998
I'm sorry about your loss. I lost my mother 2 1/2 months ago and will soon be going through a first mother's day without her. Because Mom was such a jokester and loved life to the fullest, when our spirits droop and tears threaten us, we share memories of something she did or said that made us laugh at the time. It's what she'd want to see within the family.. not alot of depressed and unhappy loved ones mourning her loss. It's really ok to laugh and smile.. dont spend too much time grieving over her loss, rejoice that you were blessed enough to know her as long as you did. Get the picture albums out and remember those things that made you smile and laugh. It's a great connection and keeps the memories strong of the woman you both loved so dearly.
159858
you know what is best for you. your mother might be a pain in the a** how ever she just lost some one close to her and she needs you and your family more than you know. for now think of her for a little while then you can do what is best for you. even though we all know how mother in laws can be you can do it hang in there heath.
1066783
Ouch.  Sorry to hear.  Age doesn't make your parent's divorce much easier.  Things will be difficult, but try to stay neutral and take it one day at a time.  Give yourself permission to be hurt, disappointed, mad, etc.
926399
I HAD TO MAKE THIS SAME DECISION ONCE, IT WAS FOR AN AUNT, GRANTED NOT AS CLOSE AS A MOM BUTSTILL REAL DIFFICULT!!  YOU HAVE TO HONOR YOU MOM'S WISHES, SHE TRUSTED YOU WITH HER LIVING WILL!  IF IT'S A MATTER OF STOPPING LIFE SUPPORT, THEN DO AS SHE ASKED,  IF SHE'S ABLE TO BREATH ON HER OWN, AND YOUR CHOICE IS HOME OR A NURSING FACILITY,  TAKE HER HOME.THERE IS PLENTY OF HELP OUT THERE, HOSPICE WOULD BE THE BEST!!  GOD BLESS YOU, IT ISN'T EASY, BUT DO WHAT MOM ASKED......REMEMBER SHE TRUSTED YOU TO MAKE THIS DECISION!!
578765
Your mother is from the old school. Don't fault her for that! Would you rather she be with someone is abusive, penniless, unemployed or a crackhead? Would you feel better then? If these men do not like financially contributing to your mother, then they can decide against it. I think that you and your mother can agree to disagree. You feel as if there should be a split and your mother thinks the man should pay all the way. I wish you and Mom all the best!
552468
Just open up to her about your feelings on the situation and you know good mothers would always welcome back their children. \nWish you luck....
675444
stay with the other woman. You owe nothing to your wife, and I actually think it would be unhealthy to go back to her. It may hurt your son that he can't be with his real mother, but he needs to be under the supervision of a responsible female guardian, not just the woman that gave him birth....
229821
i would recommend your time and love its not about whats physical give her a day of rest. If money is an obstacle just tell her how much she means to you and make her feel like the queen for a day every mother deserves it!
1080636
It won't matter when you seek a divorce, he is going to be hurt. Just go ahead and proceed with the divorce. If you two have been in separate rooms for months, the only logical next step is to separate for good. \n\nIt sad that his mother is dying, but that has nothing to do with your relationship. Especially if this has been going on before she found out she was dying.  \n\nMake the step and go on with your lives. he may be hurt and he may feel like you are leaving him, but if you stay will you really be a positive support system for him?
128342
Yes. In a car wreck and at that time our daughter was 18 months old. My self and daughter survived . lost wife and mother 2 hours later. We visted cementary and we talked but 18 months old only wants mama. Long story made short, remember her, keep her memories alive, and get on with your life. That s what your wife would want for you. I was lucky both my wifes knew each other, went to school together and my present wife adopted my daughter. My daughter now has a 15 year old son. I hope this helps. Just remember she would want you to go forward with your life.
487210
Robyn,\n\nI'm sorry for your situation and I'm sure all of this is taking a heavy toll on you, physically and mentally. It's often very difficult to find acceptable reason in these cases wherein we can find some justification for what we know we need to do. I've experienced that myself so I can appreciate that you continue to feel the love you do for him and grasp for hope in saving your marriage.\n\nHowever, as difficult as this may be to accept, my suggestion is that your first priority needs to be to yourself and the children. The fact that you feel the choice was his to make regarding the direct deposit of funds to your account, it also remains a fact that you're entitled to his continued contribution to the support of the family. Regardless of the fact that he's not sure he wants to return to the relationship, morally and legally he has obligations to uphold. \n\nSo, my opinion is, that you should insist on this support from him while agreeing to his need for space in order to evaluate his feelings about the marriage. This will accomplish a number of things actually. First, it will relieve some stress of the situation in that you will have financial help during this process. Secondly, by agreeing to his wishes to not return and have the space he needs right now you are going the distance in attempting to reconcile. Third, its just possible that having to bear the additional burdens of financial support while also now having to provide his own domicile, could just send the wake up message that will help him realize the consequences of his actions before its too late.\n\nI wish you the best of luck!