Should you tell a chil that they are adopted when they are younger or older?
455829
I'm 53 years old and am adopted. I was told when I was young and feel that it is best to tell the child when they are young because if they find out when they get older, it can be very traumatic for them to accept.
439092
Yes! I have an adopted daughter and I have twin girls. I love all the same but there is a difference in the closeness I think because I gave birth to the twins
1089855
get older, then tell her.
1065330
old enough to be your gramma likely!\nYou then tell her straight out.  why beat around the bush,  honesty is ALWAYS the best.
319149
Yes I think you should meet them so there not just a face you picture in your mind. As far as what to say to them that can't be rehearsed and there is no right question or wrong question. I have niece and nephew out there that are twins in there 20's and have been looking for them for a long time and I'd give just about anything to see them,meet them.The questions would just come naturally once you meet I think.Good luck and go for it!!!!!!!!
1040106
Loving them and simply hugging them almost everyday since birth make our relationship really great.  I always tell them that i love them so much and they know it because they see it and they surely feel it with my kisses and touch. The level of relationship that you and your children have can be determined thru the respect and love you give each other and most of all thru the understanding you find with each other for each other which others actually don't know.
1035845
I don't think there's anything *bad* about loving anyone, but there are lots and lots of reasons not to get involved with someone that much older than you. In theory it shouldn't make any difference if you love someone, but it really does. The worst thing I think is that the *best* thing that can happen is that you (and your kids, if you adopt) will watch him get old and die. If you adopted today, he will be 80 when you are 50 and your kid is 30. I say stick with the guys your own age, and let him be a friend of the family, an honorary uncle perhaps. You can still feel love for him without being his partner.
665089
Ask your adopted parents. And/or the adoption agency.
24307
It's probably to close to Christmas now.  But, for the future, your family can be adopted by another family.  Some churches do it as well as various State programs.  We adopted a family one year.  But, it was all done in November.  Try calling a church in your area.
235665
I am so glad you asked this question. I was adopted at about 1 year old. As the others said I don't consider my "birth" parents my real parents. The ones that raised me and gave me my values are my real parents. I had considered off-and-on searching for my birth parents ( and siblings ) but after much thinking about what really matters - I decided not to. If they cared they could have found me!\n\nI guess we will always wonder - but at the same time don't really want to know. We are-what-we-are thanks to the wonderful parents who raised us. After so...........many years of emotional struggle this is the decision I have come to. People not in this situation just haven't got a clue as to how tough this is!\n\nWell - I don't feel so all alone now - thanks for sharing your feelings!!!!!
568933
It depends if he was very involved in her life you should be honest with her. Tell her about heaven... or what you believe in in a way that is simple for a three year old. Explain to her that he is always with her... in her heart. Pediatrician advise honesty in these situations.
53121
I was always told growing up that your family are the people who know you and all your bad habits and love you anyway. Now that I am raising my step children and a foster child PLUS my own kids, I realize how true that statement is. Family are the people you turn to when you need someone to tell off because you have had a bad day and they will still speak to you when you have calmed down. And in some cases that person might not be blood related to you but it doesn't make them any less a member of your "family"
1156431
I don't have the first-hand experience of parenting a child with RAD, but I also adopted a child. I went through the training all adoptive parents go through prior to adopting my daughter, and my understanding is that it's a pretty tough situation to get into. You won't be alone though, and there are lots of counselors who specialize in working with kids and families where there's RAD. If you feel connected to the child (obviously you do, or you wouldn't be considering such a tough decision), I say go for it, but be prepared with the names of some good counselors to consult.
247719
yes, Remember this. Is not who the parents are that countsa. Its who raises them correctly and nourishgly with love that counts. good luck and much wisdom
521358
Whenever they began to ask you consistently. If their friends know about it and tell them, then you should say the truth in order to do not let them think that you are a liar and their friends said the Truth so they will trust their friends more than you. Every child is different, you will see and notice when you should do it.\nBut if you want an average, about 8-9 years.
819783
You are correct, a dad is more than a sperm donor.  We adopted a little girl when she was 6 months old and she knew right from the beginning that she was adopted.  I saw first hand how adopted and step children hate to be suprised by this knowledge later in life so i did not want this to happen to me.  If she is not very old then you need to be honest with her .  Honesty is the only way if you want to set a good example for her.
157227
When you adopt a baby, it will grow to know you as a parent, and have your beliefs.\n\nAdopting a child, or teen, is wonderful as they desperatly need to be adopted, but they come with a crapload of problems, are you ready to deal with that?\n\nIt is a question you will have to answer yourself.