my ex husband was deployed to iraq. if he were to be killed, would it be in poor form to attend his funeral?..
463591
I would say to do what you feel is right! If you feel that you should be at his funeral to show respect and to put closure then by all means be there. Hopefully though this will not happen.
854206
I think what he said about the troops is unforgivable, imagine how some of the familes who've lost a loved one in Iraq must feel hearing that?
327064
No.  He's an idiot.   That's so sad too.  Go to a funeral where this persons family is mourning and preach hate?  That's horrible.
796688
The purpose of a funeral is not always to honor the dead - sometimes it's to honor those left behind and show support.\n\nIf there's any way you can go (without losing your job or something), I would absolutely go.  It seems that there's a close bond between your s/m and your kids at least, and I believe it would be wrong not to go if you're able. \n\nIt's never a bad thing to do more than what's "expected."
1144181
If you feel drawn to go, that's what matters.  Death has a way of making things real, and if you still have a place in your heart for him, I would say it's right to honor that place and attend the funeral.  Probably it's a good idea to do so discreetly, as anonymously as possible, unless a graceful opportunity presents itself for interaction with the family, at their initiative. Otherwise, it's between you and your memory of him, a private goodbye.
1094460
I'm assuming that you're talking about civilian deaths as a result of the war over there.  Well, I can tell you that my son who's over there for his second tour of duty in the Army has spent so much time trying to be sure he kills no civilians, regardless of how they treat him that I have to remind him that he's in a WAR ZONE and they are wanting to KILL HIM!  He brushes if off, focusing on all he can do to NOT KILL THEM despite what they do to him.  I pray more each day that his warm, loving, sensitive ways don't get him killed as he cares for them so much.  It even scares me deeply telling you that since it's a dad's greatest fear to have his own killed by people who have no concern about killing, themselves or anyone else.  So how much do I care how many of them get killed.  NOT ONE WHIT!!!!  I'm only concerned about ONE LIFE!!  MY SON'S!!!!  He didn't start that war.  THEY DID!!  God Bless you, and I hope and pray you never have the worry I do now.
340703
My brother was a US Marine killed by an Assyrian "Iraqi Insurgent".  I know that the man who killed my brother was killed about 20 seconds later.  I will never forgive the man who shot my brother.  I hold no ill-will against that persons family, religion,  nor his country.  If your brother was a soldier like mine was, then you know that he knew the risks going in.  You must accept that your brother made a decision as a man.
734140
Well, if you want vengence-you can take this incident to his chain of command, but is that really what you want to do?  If you two get divorced-a reduction in rank may not be in your children's best interest...and this would just cause bigger problems later on down the line-think of it this way, he may not have been thinking about his family when he did this-but you could be "the bigger man" and think about your family in resolving this issue.  The first thing I would do is contact the Chaplain Family Life Center at your post/base.  Talk to a counseler there-you need to do this!!  They can also help you with any info you need, pulling the hubby in for some couseling together would not be a bad idea either.  I do not believe in cheating, but you two have children together-even if divorce is the way you need to go-some sort of resolution needs to be made between the two of you for their sake.  I can not even imagine what I would do in your situation-deployments are beyond difficult, but that does not make cheating right!  My heart goes out to you and your family!!  I hope this helps!!
83351
Yes. My husband is in the Army, and was over there. We lost so many friends over there.
797090
I'm Jewish and there's nothing wrong with attending a funeral (despite what religion it maybe.) Part of being Jewish or of anything faith is showing compassion and support to your loved ones. The cousin was a loved member of your husband, show him the support he needs. Your not there to take practice in any religious rituals.
526743
It is an interesting experience. My husband and I have been together for only 3 years and we are on our second deployment. He is currently serving in Iraq. Be proud because your husband is doing something truly great. Feel free to contact me if you want to talk.
1142511
I would be devastated at the loss. My life would never be the same. I would be very proud of him as I consider all those who join the forces as heroes. I would curse the day George W was born for getting us into an unnecessary war with no exit plan,
1095346
See the source for the wedding part, I guess it makes sense. As for a funeral, it's hard to say. Anyone who dies deserves a rightful burial. It's the time to say good-bye, religion doesn't have to be involved.
542628
My husband is in Iraq. Last time he saw our daughter she was 2 months old, next time he will see her she will be a walking & talking 14 month old (I didn't include the oh-so-short R&R he gets). I cry almost every day. I write him every night. I pray before bed that he makes it home to our daughter and I. \n\nOn the good side, this time apart makes us realize all the things we took for granted before. He's making more money so I am able to stay home with my daughter and go back for my Master's.
915687
Sounds like you regret breaking up, but if he's leaving in an hour, there's really nothing else to do, except answer his letters if he should write to you. If he's going to Iraq, he'll probably need to keep his mind on staying alive.
1085293
First off, I do hope that your husband comes back alive and well. Godbless him and you too. \n\nCalienstacie and to anyone else who think that was a stupid question, well guess what? That is not a stupid question. I think  that's just taking it the wrong way. Yeah, it's awful to see or know what could happen to our soldiers, but that question was not stupid question.\n\nI think people should think carefully about joining the military. Whatever military branch it maybe. And, if there willing to go to war(even a war which they don't exactly support or not at all), not complain and whine, and be proud of serving their country and their military, then yeah they should join the military.\n\nPeople should know they might be sent to war one day, whether it's in Afghanistan,Iraq, or any future war, and that is what they are going to get. End of story.\n\nLove my country and my soldiers. God Bless America. God Bless America allies.
829280
What is "my people"??  \n\nI'm a Bush supporter.  I don't think he's perfect by any means.  I think he's done alot wrong and I think he could make better choices.  However, I still support him and believe in what he does.  \n\nAs far as sending a loved one to Iraq, I've seen my husband deploy there 3 times in his career.  It's what his job is and I know that.  There is no greater honor than being married to a soldier or member of the military.  We can never forget what their duty is.  We can never forget, they protect people like YOU from terrorists in Iraq and elsewhere.\n\nWould I dislike Bush if my husband died??  Hell no!!  It's his job and his duty.  I fully support him and his career.  I would be honored to be married to a soldier who lost his life for his country.  Do I want it to happen??  Of course not.  I still support Bush, the action in Iraq and my husband.\n\nWhat are you and "your people" doing to ensure freedom??