how can i tell my mom  to back off?
458498
Since she is saying you can't go out, I'm assuming you still live with her. I'd say what you need to do is move out. Two kids, a FT job and school is a pretty big amount of responsibility, yes, but if you're relying on her heavily as unpaid daycare and free rent, she will be able to continue to lord it over you and with a certain amount of justification.\n\nYou're sorta in a position where you've gotta pick your battles. You can attempt to sit down with her and have a mature conversation about how far you've come and what your future plans are, and that you do have a lot of responsibility, and you need time out with your friends to wind down now and then. I personally would either skip the tattoo for now - make it something that will be a 21st birthday present to yourself.\n\non the other hand, if i'm right that she is providing room, meals, and/or daycare to you free, you really AREN'T being a full-fledged adult. My advice to you is to move out and BE a grown up for real. I can tell you from personal experience that ANYONE can figure out a way to make this happen. find low-income housing, check in with WIC for help on some expenses, get the kids' dad to provide some support, etc. there are tons of resources out there if you look. To be a real adult you MAY have to go on welfare for a while, you may have to live in a much different type of situation than you are used to, but you'll be truly independent and self-sufficient. plus if you are no longer a dependent on your mother, she can't claim you on her taxes, which means you'll be totally seperate from you and you can start applying for need-based financial aid for school.\n\nNow, all this said, maybe you already are living on your own, she isn't babysitting or doing other stuff for you free, and she's just all up in your business. if that is the case, i'd just lay it on the line in no uncertain terms. i did that with my mother and we didn't talk for several months. she was furious that i would stand up to her. but i was totally on my own - she had no reason to rule my life. eventually she realized this and we're great now. and in your case, she'd probably come around sooner cause she'd miss the grandkids too. anyhow.\n\neither way, good luck. parents can be more exhausting than kids sometimes...
179547
Say this to yourself over and over again "It's not your fault!".  Really.  Your mom could be frustrated about so many other things and she may just be taking it out on you.  I think it would be good to ask her this straight out and she might just explain to you why instead of you getting the brunt of her anger each and every time she's frustrated.
681020
oh boy. sounds like me and my mom. I just walked away when she started to irritate me. Don't acknowledge her bad behaviour at all. But don't expect her to stop being this way. you will have to deal with it for the rest of her life. So just try and tell yourself that you will leave the house one day and you won't have to deal with her. Just try and remember to not fight back. Let her win. Even if your beyond right. Because she's only looking to argue. not win an argument. Ignore her critcisms of other people and just try to tune her out when she talks. That's your best bet. GOOD LUCK
297862
first of all shes ur mom.. how long can she b angry with u. things wil cool down soon.. give her a good hug.. she wil surely calm down..say ur sorry.. even if ur not wrong.. it doesnt hurt to say sorry.. does it!!??
612356
Just Pray to your God who ever you believe in Your mom just say these thing because she doesn't want to loose you. She needs you around just move it's that age your mom will miss you alot for the first few months but she will get over it. You are her baby the only one that she has now so she don't want to see you go so whatever she is saying to you she doesn't mean she loves you and need you but she knows deep in her heart that it's time to let you go and live your life. So don't worry just move and start your new life.
880641
You didn't state the reason that you are trying to avoid your Mom but can I say one thing to you?\nMy Mother and I were (past tense) so much alike that we fought constantly and like you I tried to avoid her.\nShe passed away several years ago and I've only recently come to a place in my life where I've overcome the severe guilt that I felt - I "could" have been a better daughter but at times chose not to be.\nIf I could give you one piece of advice, it would be to enjoy your Mom while you have her.\nTry to find some ground that you share common interests in and focus on that.  You may just discover that your Mom is a nice person.  Regardless, always remember she is your Mom and is due respect.\nTo receive, we must first give.\nHope this helps.
712432
It's very clear that you feel your not doing anything wrong because your mom does this same thing to your grandmother all the time. Don't allow yourself to repeat these behaviors no matter what. It's not a good thing to talk back or yell at your mom no matter what. If she's acting crazy and yelling at you then remove yourself from the situation. Yelling and fighting does not solve the problem and doesn't make it easier for someone to listen to you. All that this does is create tension and a lot of confusion. Your mom has no respect for your grandmother if she's yelling at her all the time. Do you really want to be that way with your mom as well??? Don't look at the fact that your mother is doing it so you should do it as well. You need to be the one that stops this right here and right now because if you don't it's just going to be passed down to one of your children as well.
919000
Moms always like to have their rules followed. When you break them, they feel that you're not listening to her and you don't care.\nStaying up till 11:30 is not that bad! So what you should do is have a serious talk with her.  Tell her how important it is for her to trust you, and that you really want to obey her. Make it up to her by spending some time together as mother and daughter.  She will soon regain trust on you if you stay on track the next time your boyfriend calls you!\nGood luck!
1087499
Talk to her...first you need to be honest with yourself if you your usually a bad kid, acknowledge that and tell her how much it hurts you to see you dissapoint her and therefore want help to change. If your whine alot and complain about the world, and claim everything is everyone else fault (which if you are your probably like nope...not me =)) lol, but if she says you are talk to her about the future and how you're maturing and realized that you have to take control and except responsibilities. If your a pretty decent kid though but I guess she doesn't like your BF I honestly think you should listen to her reasons why whether you think she "knows him", if thier superficial reasons like he's not your race or too poor or some bull like that then your mom's an @-- (sry to say) but therefore has no more credibilty on her opinions of people. If it's because your BF is too old, a dog, something like that, your mom has wisdom and experience and trust me she IS right. I don't really know what you n your mom's problem is so I tried touching on random things, hopefully some of thoserandom thing's hit you and it helped, thanks and I hope you and your mom works things out, a girl no matter how old, can never live without her mother =)
219048
shut up doesn't seem to be the right word to say to your mom.
296656
kill her with kindness... when you act upset and she causes turmoil in your family, she is getting what she wants.  As hard as it sounds. ignore her!!
147536
You haven't given us enough inforamtion to be as helpful as we might be otherwise.  The answer depends on how old you are and what it is your mom is doing that is annoying you.  Is it that you are doing something she doesn't agree with and trying to stop you and so you are annoyed?  Is your mom extra stressed or tired right now?\n\nI agree with other posters.  YOu need to think about what you are doing too.  Moms don't usually change and become  annoying for no reason.  Talk to your mom and see what the problem is.\n\nYOu will only ever have one mom and she won't be around forever, and someday you may look back and wish you had been more understanding.
944651
Explain to your Mom what your feelings are.  If she does not understand, just do not answer her phone calls or answer the door if she comes to visit you. \n\nYou are an adult now and have a right to set boundaries with anyone including your parents.
215698
go through one ear and out the other!\none way to make her stop is tell her she's right[it's not fun to nag when someone believes you're right!]
663164
Cool it!  You are still young, and your mother is still your mother and she LOVES you!  You were wrong to go off on her like that.  She knows you are a teenager and teenagers go off easily with little provocation.  But your rage and rants still hurt her.  No adult would to that to a parent.  It was still an adolescent rant.\n\nNow, go take a hot soaky with lavender bubbles and listen to some mellow music.
199535
Try to find out what makes her, happy, sad, angry, and relaxed. When you find out these things, then you'll know what to and not to do to press her buttons. People usually say try talking to herr, but if your mother isn't the talking type, write a letter, but try not to sound so dogmatic in the letter. Let her know how you feel, but in a respectful way.  Parents always try to say that we as young adults, we lack respect because we feel like we're practically grown, so make sure you give her the upmost respect, even you maynot think she deserves it at times, because as the bible says "Honor your Father and Mother, that way it may go well with you, and you may have length days upon the earth"
639671
At this point in time you have done all you can, or at least all you've had time to do.  You can try, but don't alienate her.  When/if it goes wrong she will need you. You may be disappointed but you're a good mom and that's your job.  Teach her what you can, some people are hard learners. But *if* it goes wrong, she *will* need you.  So don't put her in the position of not wanting to come to you when she needs help because she doesn't want an "I told you so."