56 male married with heart problems,diabetes and can't get it up with a wife who ain' interested?
470258
I will warn you now from being ther 'other woman'... you are setting yourself (and the prospecitve other woman) and your wife up for a LOT of heartache. I fell in love with a man that I can't have and it has destroyed my life (message me offline if you want to hear it). He calls his wife an ice cube and they have barely had any kind of intimate relationship in four years. I gave him love, affection and my soul only to have it destroyed. Could you honestly hurt anyone like this if it happened?? You have to think of all of the people that will become involved and it will more than likely turn into a big mess.\n\nThink seriously before you proceed.
955284
you are married and you cant even figure out how to initiate sex???  oy!
1020119
I personally don't know how it feels to have diabetes but I do know how it feels to be married to someone who has Type I diabetes and to be related to others with Type II.  I am really not sure what you want to know or exactly what you are asking.
400943
I was never married to a woman with menopause, but was dating a woman who was very grouchy and had a hard time dealing with it.  I overlooked it best I could but she broke up with me.  I think the menopause had something to do with it.  Good luck, try to get past it......
499538
It's probably the meds he's on.  My Dad is older than your guy but he started talking blood pressure medicine, plus lipitor and my mom says their sex life is down the tubes.  If you really love him stay with him....and get married!!!
953670
I'm sorry to hear that you are having this problem with your wife.......however it doesn't mean that this is the end of your relationship. Women begin experiencing many changes in their bodies in their 40's (for example, menopause doen't all happen at once, there are different phases, it may take years to fully get through it), and it could be very possible that these hormonal changes are causing her lack of sex drive.\n\nI would try to be as sensitive and supportive to your wife as possible, as she may be having a hard time dealing with this herself, and then to also feel that she's letting her husband down is also an emotional strain. Ask her questions about what and how she is feeling towards you, but not in a judgemental or  way, maybe phrase it like, "I've noticed that we haven't been intimate, I just wanted to talk about it and see if there's anything I can do because I miss our closeness." \n\nShe could also be feeling low self-esteem. Do you still let her know that she is the love of your life and you think she's the most beautiful woman you've ever seen? These sincere compliments can really lift a gal's spirits. Have you thought about surprising her with a date night, just out of the blue, something that she'd love to do. Remind her of the days you first started dating, relive some of your old memories together.  \n\nTell her as gently as you can that while she sees this as no big deal, you are feeling like something that the two of you once shared is missing, and it's important for you to understand why. We are all human beings and have needs, the fact that you so badly want to share this act of love with her and her only, but she's not interested is affecting you. \n\nIn conclusion, I think that in order to fix any of your problems, you'll have to open up the lines of communication. But I wouldn't jump to the conclusion that this is a sure sign of a failing relationship. Take into consideration all of the possible factors, and discuss them with your wife. Maybe a marriage counselor would help you both to express your feelings and concerns with each other. I wish you the best of luck, and remember to always tell your wife that you love her!
648549
That is very strange...my husband and I are going through the same thing right now.  We've been married for 11 years  It has been frustrating.  Lack of passion has been the worst I think.  We are however determined to get through this funk.  He is reading a book called "For Men Only" and I am reading the companion book called "For Women Only" it's by the authour Feldman, Shaunti. Another good one is "His Needs, Her Needs" I can't think of the author off the top of my head but it's a good read too.  I hope that helps and I hope that you two will become more passionate and in love because of it.  Best wishes...   :)
1011452
It is likely hormonal.  It sounds like your body may be manufacturing too much testerone which will produce hirsuitism in females.  \n\nYou may have to go to an endocrinologist (a really specialized internist) to figure out what the problem is.\n\nHowever, regarding your guy, if you don't feel you can talk about this with him now, before you are married, then you may not be in  a friendship relationship with him.  Friendship before marriage makes for a more stable marriage, according to some experts.  In other words, if he does not love you the way you are now, with your minor (stress the minor) imperfection, is he likely to love you more after you are married? \n\nI think you may want to discuss it with him before you are married.  It may not be as big an issue with him as you think.  I was 165 pounds when my husband married me in 1990 and I am 218 and diabetic now.  His love has grown over the years, not diminished.
150566
probably better to ask a marriage counselor : ) it could be lots of things, some which are "fixable", some which aren't.
456494
He may have lost attraction to you... sad to say. THIS IS NOT YOUR FAULT.... you're having his kids for crying out loud!!! Personally, I would love my wife even more during that period, however, a lot of men arent like that. It probably has something to do with the weight you have gained from both pregnancies. You need to talk to him about your feelings and your concerns. Maybe marriage counseling would help... if you are both opened minded to that. You are going through a hard time now, physically, emotionally and all. I wish he was more supportive of you. Basically, dont take his selfishness and ignorance personal. You are doing a very important job right now and looks are secondary. Just my thought on the subject....\n\nCounselorDan
67352
To keep the relationship alive, you have to need sexual contact with your spouse but sometimes, it isn't going to happen such as illness,tireness or depression will come into play. Ask yourself this before you do something crazy like destroy your marriageof 20 years/ IS she tired from raising the children,paying bills,errans,school meetings,doctor visits,preparing holidays with family members,cooking,cleaning the home and perhaps working full or part time.Taking care of those responsibilities could be very exhausting to one especially if she is the one who does everything in your home.Why waste 20 good years with your wife for someone on the side? It is selfish and ignorant.I do applaude you to ask for advice before trying to hook up with some "woman" as you are trying to save your marriage.
385910
It could be diabetes.  Check out http://www.diabetes.org/diabetes-symptoms.jsp\n\nDepression: http://www.nimh.nih.gov/healthinformation/depressionmenu.cfm\n\nHigh Blood Pressure:  http://www.americanheart.org/presenter.jhtml?identifier=2114\n\nand any of those things can lead to erectile dysfunction:  http://kidney.niddk.nih.gov/kudiseases/pubs/impotence/\n\nIt may be an affair, or that he's not as invested as he should be, but it could be a signal that something medical is amiss and needs to be checked out.  Of course, you must be sensitive in how you approach the subject.  He could very well be avoiding you because he's embarrassed about it.\n\nUnresolved anger or repressed anger may be an issue.  How well do you communicate with each other?  Would he be open to counseling?\n\nI hope you find the cause and have a resolution soon.  For the sake of his health, try to find a discreet way of getting him to the doctor, just in case.  It could be a sign of a serious health concern.
655066
The scorn that 'The Pilot' has just poured out on you in unjustified.  Your husband made marriage vows, you have needs, if he were in your shoes he would probably have done something about the situation long ago.  I think you need to take a complete break from routine, say go to a hotel, order in dinner, and talk to each other.  Remind him of the times he chased you around, tell him how lonely you are, how hurt you feel, how you need more than the nothing you are being given.  With his health problems, I'd be bothering my wife as if every day were my last!\nYou deserve to be loved, more than the love for a piece of furniture, which is all he is showing you.  He loves having you around, wouldn't know what to do without you, etc.  It's very difficult to think of leaving someone you have so much history with, and who is in poor health, but DON'T let guilt keep you unfulfilled.\nTALK!
629259
Is your wife under more stress than normal? As far as not knowing what your wife wants, ask her. I'm sure she'd be happy to let you know.
803942
Agree with others, age may be a factor here; but erectile problems are, in a physical sense, basically about blood flow. So in this respect, age is not necessarily the main factor here. So, I'd start with a 'physical.' \n\nED can sometimes be a by-product of diabetes. Are there other classic signs, thirst, excessive peeing, etc.? Is there an enlarged or aggravated prostate problem? Enlarged prostate can interfere with blood flow. A general cardio-vascular problem? Is he getting regular exercise?\n\nSometimes, it's 'all in his mind,' meaning psychological stresses from work, or other sources. If he is worried, it will just shut him down, totally. So, maybe ask him, not like an inquisition, but maybe just tease it out of him, about workplace/relationship with coworkers issues?\n\nSpice it up? I don't mean to go for handcuffs, etc. (no offense to those who enjoy this, whatever floats your boat), but after a long time with a partner, even though things can still be hot, they can also become very 'routine.' Are there varying ways you could stimulate him? Alot of guys don't realize that pretty much the entire pelvic floor of the male body is packed with G-spots. You wanted to hear from a guy, so I can pass this along to you: if he is stimulated from the bottom up, the blood flow is more increases, and produces a better erection, engorged to the max, and therefore all nerve endings usually buried within folds of skin, are now exposed in full sensitivity.\n\nI am not trying to be (porno)graphic, just plainly honest. it's basically anatomy 101, and simple, natural physiology. it's the way a guy's body 'works.'\n\nDon't know if this helps, but it is submitted as a serious and honest answer.\n\nGood luck!
926791
Look, let me share what i think here...You STILL have not mentioned any GOOD reasons for a divorce...Being attracted to other women, first of all, is pretty natural for men. Resisting that temptation is part of the vows you took. also, you say she recently was diagnosed with Diabetes. Again, this is when your wife needs you the most. I can understand not wanting that kind of responsibility, but again, that's part of the vows. And lastly, the peach fuzz thing is hardly worth mentioning, EXCEPT that it reveals the fact that you are afraid your wife will let herself go in all areas, if she hasn't already done so. It just seems to me there are some deeper issues stirring around here, and it might be worthwhile to really examine what you're feeling.\nI can see where you're coming from, But I think divorce is a hasty idea for you. As much as we don't like to admit,  ANY relationship is hard work sometimes. This is one of those times. The trick is NOT to give up. If you do that, all you'll ever do is start over again and again, and mistake the lust for new people for the possible real connection you could keep with your wife. \nYou loved her enough to marry her, after all. Try to work it out and good luck.
524332
You have to get off your but and work.My son is totally disabled with a heart defect and I am a single parent.If you want something work for it or marry some guy with money.