i just got divorced and now live alone for the first time in my life any advice to make is easier?
461754
Stay busy and take more time out for yourself
301306
Well, I'm not going to lie and say it's easy, but when I was 31 I was just getting divorced from my first wife, and dating a girl I met in a Burger King (of allplaces) for a while. That relationship ended kind of mutually.\n\nThen I met my current wife online. And here I am. By the way, did I mention that this marriage involved emigrating from England?\n\nAnyway, I didn't rest on my laurels for one minute. As soon as I was free and clear from wife #1 I was out every weekend going to my favorite club and meeting people all the time. I  just relaxed and had fun. It's true that when you try too hard it kind of shows and I guess it's offputting to some extent. In both cases, the girl and my wife, I wasn't trying at all. It just came to me.\n\nI suggest finding a few night spots that you like. Go with friends or go alone, it's all the same. Just enjoy yourself and someone will just show up and change your life.
748148
I divorced somebody like you lolol....good luck in your life
146154
pack your stuff and leave while he is gone. leave a note or what ever you like. file for divorce and a TRO at teh same time
499172
Try taking a trip, visit people you haven't seen in a while (specially because of him), make new friends, suscribe yourself into some kind of activity you like and read a lot about being co-dependent.  This will help.  Also therapy and being selfish for the first time in your life.
505826
...been there brother...it hurts worse than anyone will ever understand.\n\nFriends and family are great, but you know as well as I do, that you can only be around them so much.  Sometimes you just need time alone.  Try not to spend too much time alone.  I know, I still struggle with that and my divorce was final 6 months ago.  \n\nMan, I could write a book to you right now.  It is just SO hard dude.  \n\nWhatever you do, don't spend all your time thinking about all the great times, the great traits of your wife and, most importantly, beating yourself up over the situation, (kicking yourself over anything and everything you could have done better, blaming yourself for not making her happier and feeling like you failed).  THIS IS WAY EASIER TO SAY THAN TO DO!  I know.  This is the trap that I fell in and caused me to become WAY, WAY depressed.\n\nYou are gonna ride a roller coaster of up and down emotion for the next few years.  The low times are gonna be LOW, LOW, and the high times will be pretty good, believe it or not.\n\nWriting has become my happy place.  Actually, it doesn't really make me happy, it just releaves me of the pain that I am experiencing at the moment.  I don't always write about the divorce, feelings or depression.  Sometimes, I write about current events, events that really touched me, friends, etc.  It really doesn't matter.  Writing just gives me an outlet to release emotion without bothering others.
878068
How to Get Over a Break Up\n\nWant to know how to get over a break up? Here are six secrets to help you get your life together and move on!\nDifficulty: Hard\nTime Required: Two Weeks to Three Months\n\nHere's How:\n\n1. Bond with other Singles.\n      At any given time, you probably have a mix of friends in loving relationships as well as those searching for love. Don't be afraid to look-up single friends you haven't seen or spoken to in awhile and make plans for Friday and Saturday night. You'll stay busy on the weekend and maybe even rekindle an old friendship.\n\n2. Start a Social Hobby.\n      If there is a hobby or activity you have been meaning to try for the first time, or take-up again, this is your chance. Focus on activities that allow you to meet new and interesting people. Examples might include a cooking class, sports league, or bridge club.\n\n3. Go Easy on the Next Person you Meet.\n      Beware of continuing unfinished business with the next person you meet. If you didn't have a chance to truly close the door on your last relationship, don't project your open issues on the next unsuspecting soul. See the new person as a clean slate and allow the relationship to unfold with no connections to your past.\n\n4. Don't Sling Shot your Ex.\n      It can be very tempting, particularly on lonely nights, to look up your ex or accept an invitation from your ex for a rekindle. The more you fall back on your old ways, the harder it will be to truly move on. Don't fall for the short term satisfaction of a night out or easy hook-up at the expense of stirring up all the hurt from the breakup.\n\n5. Apply What You've Learned.\n      Take out a journal and write down everything that went well versus what could have been better in your relationship. Be honest since you're the only one looking at the entry. What could you do better next time? What positive traits did your ex possess that you should look for in the next relationship, or maybe even incorporate into your own style?\n\n6. Talk About Something Else.\n      Everyone goes through a period of venting to their friends and family about what went wrong and how your ex deserves to go straight to prison. It's okay to do a little venting, but spare your inner circle from an endless tirade for months at a time. Commit to yourself that the next time you call a close friend, you'll focus exclusively on them. This will help you get out of your head
914367
Mixed emotion, clouded mind, dark roads, all can seem a bit scary. But did you know that you hold the key to your new tomorrow? In your own hands you hold your life and the life of your kids. You also have the keys, flash light and map for your tomorrow.\n\nAfter the divorce you are given new powers to re-write your life story and tell it to the world how you want it to be heard. Divorce will bring you freedom. You are free to move on. Do not be like the elephant on a chain. A trained elephant has been chained and conditioned to only move about (by the limitations of the chain). Once the chain is taken off, the elephant does not run free because they have convinced them self that they are  still chained up. Do not let your past haunt you like this. You are a free woman. Get up and move about and explore the world you have been dying to see.\n\nThink not of yesterday or the what could have been, learn to live in the moment of today. Embrace your new freedom.
1105962
You may never get the 'flame' back, but you can definitely stoke the embers and have a nice hot bed of coals!!  Plan surprises... meals in your bedroom spread out on the bed, with foods that lend themselves to play ; pineapple, grapes, honey, whipped cream, chocolate sauce, etc...  or try dating again. If you have kids, shuffle them off to a neighbor or relative for the weekend,  and just have fun together. Play tourists and see your own town like you don't live there. Go out to eat at a restaurant you've never been to before. See a show, or just take a nice, slow walk together. BE together like you used to be when you didn't have kids or a busy life. Try some new lingerie. Make him a basket with new stuff  for the two of you to try together, like warming gels for massages, and toys to try if you are into that. Make a game with your egg timer and some homemade cards; have six small piles of homemade cards that have things on them such as "massage your partners back for 3 minutes" and may go up to any position or act you like. Put the easier, lighter stuff into pile one, and go up to pile six, which will have your "hottest" stuff in it. Roll one dice, and whatever number it lands on, choose a card from that pile and do what it says. Then it's the other persons turn.  The only rule is you CAN'T make love! ( We always end up making love anyway, coz you just can't stand it, but it's fun trying!)    The point is to spend quality time together, and just have fun again!  The rest should all fall right into place!  Good luck!
1011939
Your story brings tear to my eyes. Maybe all you can do is emotionally fall apart. You need to grieve, and better now than having collapses when your baby is a toddler and getting on your nerves. It is going to be a whole new life for you, and you have to be prepared for some real suprises from him.  Get you court case ready - be prepared for even worse things - you don't know who your husband really is until you divorce him. Many men fight for custody when it comes time to think about child support - so be "prepared."  HE ALREADY HAS A NICE LITTLE STEP MOTHER THERE AND READY - SO STAY AHEAD OF HIM. Yes life is very cruel that when you are at your most traumatised you have to think about such horrid and practical things - but that is the way of divorce. It is the worst hell you will ever experience. I feel so sick that this is happening to you while you are pregnant and so terribly in need of protection and love. You have to starting thinking about the man you love as an 'opponent' now. It is easy to say but I know that it is a very difficult thing to do. Feelings are what thay are. What you need is to find people out there who will listen to you and let you cry on their shoulder. People are VERY IMPATIENT and they will expect you to get over things very quickly, so have more than one friend to lean on. You have a precious baby on the way and taking care of that baby (alone) will be fill up many spaces because of the overwhelming responsibily. You really have to find compassionate non-condemning, humble friends who can be there for you. You will be poorer - for sure so find some single mothers with babies - because they will be your greatest support system. Your social status has just changed dramatically - and that is one of the most difficult parts of single parentig.  So be "ready." I am sorry that I have very little that is positive to say. Just know that my heart breaks for you.
1132391
Well, you divorced her, so you ARE no longer with her.  You will miss her for a while.  \n\nTry working on yourself for a while.  Persue some hobbies, relax, do whatever you feel.  Soon enough you will feel refreshed and will no longer miss her.
413963
Easy really, just take care of yourself and take pride in your appearance.  The single guys in that age range are also likely to be back on the scene following a divorce.
101269
im living alone. soon tho. but prolly
919128
I'd try a trial separation.  it would be difficult for you but look at the benefits:\n\n1.  Your wife has time to recooperate (sp?) and get her feelings in order\n\n2.  They say time makes the heart grow fonder.  Without her, you'll realize what you have.  Maybe then you can reflect on your past actions and see how being alone feels, only you may be in a motel and not in a jail cell.\n\n3.  Your wife will see the effort you're making to better yourself and hopefully give you another chance (as well as saving your reputation, if things don't work out and you're on your own again)\n\n4.  You can use the time alone to read books and get self-help in the meantime.  You'll have lots of pillows to punch if you still need to get anger out (just watch the hotel walls, heh heh).\n\n5.  Since marriage was the cause of stress, maybe now you can dedicate time to things you used to do that made you happy before you got married but that you couldn't do once you did get married. You don't have to be home by a certain time, so you an go bowling, start going to the gym (also a great stress reliever), hang out with some buddies you haven't seen, just start taking care of yourself mentally and physically for once.  Sure you won't have your wife to come home to, so this may go back to missing her more.  You have to find a balance.  \n\n6.  Remember the first time you looked into each others eyes, or the nervousness either of you had on your first date?  Howabout that first kiss?  Firsts are sometimes awkward or sometimes full of great memories.  I'd sure miss my girlfriend more if I imagined her being happy with someone else.  I had one ex girlfriend where there were times this was for the better as I realized I took the relationship for granted and complained too much , but if I had appreciated it more, maybe be comfortable with the relationship without going into a routine, then her and i might still be back together.  Right now I'm living with the folks at 33 years old, without a car and a job, and my current girlfriend of 1 years still looks at me like I'm hot.  Probably because I still take the time to talk to her and tell her how much I appreciate her understanding and friendship, that she knows I'm doing my best to find a job.\n\nWhatever you do I hope you make the right decision, and I hope you and your family have a safe and filling Thanksgiving.
466504
Realize what went wrong.\nThere is no fixing this if the marriage ended but make sure it doesn't happen again by not repeating past mistakes no matter who was at fault.\nPick Yourself up.\nStart attending events that interest you.\nSince you must be older , possibly look for senior activities even at large senior centers where you can go have dinner in the dining hall and talk with people your age if you don't have a strong friend network.
41385
find peace within yourself\nyou can be alone and not be lonely\nwhen you become happy with who you are, you lose the loneliness.go to your church or social events\nhang out with your friends ,if your marriage is over move on.
1090216
The simple answer is trust.  You do not trust the opposite sex.  Weather the divorce was your fault or your spouses you blame them.  You could have been the lyingest, cheatingest, most absent spouse in the world, but you still look at it as there fault.  We as humans almost always want to play the victim.  Now if you were the one that was cheated on and/or abused or what have you, then you might want to look into some form of therapy.  Either way make sure that the new person you are dating is not just a rebound (yes, you can have many of them).  find someone who will make you truly happy in life, not just in bed.  Find a friend before you find a lover!  Later dater.