What's the funniest thing you've heard today?
402870
these yo mamma jokes in another question\n\nYo momma's so dumb when she saw under 17 not admitted sign she went home and got 16 friends\nYo momma's so poor each night she goes to KFC to lick other folks fingers\nYo momma's so old one of her pets was on on Noahs Ark\nYo momma's so ugly for Halloween she trick or treats on the phone\nYo momma's so dumb she passed by YMCA and said hey look they spelled MACYs wrong\nYo momma's so poor people rob her house for practice\nYo momma's so old her birth certificate is in Roman numerals\nYo momma's so poor she married young just to get the rice \nyo mamma so fat, that when she jumps for joy, she gets stuck!\nyo mamma so fat, that she needs to use a bookmark, to find her belly button\nyo mamma so fat that when she walks by the television screen, you miss 3 seasons of friends
954014
its about time i heard somthing funny lol
783820
Tee hee.... Nice one..... That made me laugh
612009
I laughed out loud when I read this one. Thanks!! I've had\na really crappy day. And, sure, why not. Look at the one\nwe've got!
626088
"Laughing my ass off"
595205
haha th3e best one today
622766
Never heard it before, but it really made me laugh. I had to share it immediately with the guy in the next room. He laughed too.
826167
Ed-zachary the thing I need this time of the morning to give me a laugh.  Cheers mate.
170909
As a teacher the best one I ever heard was, "I squeezed the toothpaste too hard and it took me half an hour to get it back into the tube."\n\nAlso a good laugh was the boy who told me, "Last night while I was asleep my dog peed on the clothes I had ready for school and I didn't have any more clean clothes so my mom had to wash them and dry them before I could come to school."\n\nHOw about, "My dog ate my alarm clock"? That's a common one ...I see you already have it.\n\n"Our toaster is really old so it takes a long time to get all the toast made and this morning it was my turn to be last."\n\n"Last night our house was invaded by ants and it took an hour this morning for us to kill them all."\n\nReally, we teachers have heard lots of them, and we usually know that the real reason is that you overslept or something like that, so the truth is usually the best option .... unless you can think of something really funny that will give everyone a chuckle and if your teacher is the sort of person who will appreciate it ...they'll still know it's just a story but it might help .... if you don't make a habit of being late!!
803902
One of my personal favorites is from "Zoolander":\n"You can derelict my balls, capi-tan." LOL!!!\n\n*Edit*\nOh, I just thought of another funny one from "Ace Ventura: Pet Detective":\nLois: "How would you like it if I made your life a living hell?"\nAce: "Well, Lois, I'm not quite ready for a relationship right now, but maybe I'll give you a call sometime. Your number still 911?" LOL!!!\nPs. Thanks for the great question. You should get some funny answers.
57864
That is, quite literally, the most hilarious question I have seen in DAYS *LOL*
896775
Oh HA HA!! Very funny.\n\nxxB
793517
Bwwwaaahaaahaaaa!\n\nThanks, I needed a chuckle.
938776
That's the funniest thing I heard today ... how can you get more "severe" than death !?!?!?!?!?
579403
Really funny \nI laughed out loud
809325
LOL................. that was truly funny.\nThanks for sharing and enjoy your week ahead : - )
331267
That was so funny. My kids cracked up.  Now I am worried that they will try, but thanks I needed a good laugh today.