How can I get rid of the crankster in my office?
398455
offer her a cup of cofee with just enough crank to test positive when the boss demands it in response to your complaint about her crank use at work\n\ncall her dealer and say she's an informant\n\nleave a love note with her name to be found by the bosses wife\n\ndownload child pornography onto her office computer\n\netc etc etc
572762
get out more often, dont sit at the puter all day\ngood luck ;P
223154
go to parlour\ndont squeeze it urself\ntake the help of proffesional
497372
Hostile work environment, I'd go with that, or consider calling OSHA (Occupational Health and Safety.) Noxious gases and high levels of bacteria are cause for concern for the workplace, right?\n\nDid they pass out eye protection in your office?\n\nHow about Scott Air Packs or other respirators? Are they in easy reach of anyone who might require them?\n\nIs there an adequate alarm system? I suggest that rotating flashing lights above the bathroom door (warning the unwary not to enter) plus sirens and a loudspeaker announcing when it is safe to re-enter the workspace might be something to consider.\n\nWhat about running "fire" drills. If you see the Comptroller heading in the general direction of the loo, your health and safety officer is completely within his rights to pull the alarm and announce a general evacuation of the premises. Then he should conduct a role call at the designated meeting areas.\n\nIt might be wise to practice administering CPR (preferably on the prettiest women or guys, if that's your preference) \n\nIt might not be too extreme to demand that the Comptroller's favorite stall be marked off with biohazard tape and flooded with strong UV. Ask about installing a huge fan to whisk toxic fumes out of the building. In fact, an executive "washroom" with a special lock should be built just for this guy....\n\nIn the next county.
252844
Run it empty with one cup vinegar.  That should solve your problem.
97723
Just right click and delete.\nEmpty trash bin to completely get rid of it.
411532
Remove it from your Control Panel.
1092722
Well, if I were your co-worker, this is what you would do:\n\n1.  Eat smelly, crunchy food at your desk.\n2.  Talk with your mouth full.\n3.  Sniff, cough, or clear your throat repeatedly.\n4.  Be obsessive/compulsive.\n5.  Tape everything to your desk because the cleaning people "are always moving things around."\n6.  Before you leave at night, stand at the door staring at your desk for precisely 30 seconds.
436619
Is there anyway you can rearrange your office so that you and your computer monitor are facing the door?  If she is cut off quite obviously from the source of her curiosity she may stop barging in on you. At least, she won't be surprising you with her tiny visits if you can see her come in. Possibly your cologne is way too sexy? Perfume your office with garlic... :)
223604
I hope it is not your boss doing that. I once had a boss who would come into my closet, I mean office, and close the door, then proceed to rant and rave at me and tear my files apart and throw everything around, leaving a huge mess for me to clean up. I was scared to death of him.  That job lasted three months before I left, but it seemed like three years.\nIf it is a co-worker on the same or a lower level than you, can you go to your supervisor? That is not a good working environment, and could even be harmful to your health, mental and physical.  Until that person either receives the therapy so obviously needed, try to avoid confrontations, and see if you can get transferred to another area, or have your hours changed so you don't work the same shift as the nutcase.  Good luck with all that.  Take care of you and your safety first.
328793
for those uppidy bosses that have a bunch of people stuck up his @ss
47041
Just ignore her.  Try not to hurt her feelings any more than you have to, but when he comes to your work be EXTRA friendly with him.  Look very happy and pretend like you arent doing it on purpose.
816996
Get rid of the loser.
564036
Set the mf up.  Make up something outrageous and when your boss asks you about it just laugh it off.  Keep doing that and he/she will either stop or get fired.
489684
Get someone esle to do the damn dirty work for you!
62843
Get rid of the loser. Fast.
1111522
You might do all those things but the other people in the building might not be so clean. Tell your manager in writing  give him a copy and let him know if the problem isnt fixed in a timely manner you will put your rent in an escro account with the local courts.