when should you tell someone you are dating that you are divorced and have a kid?
403091
You should be honest up front. Then take it slow. Later on when you feel comfortable you could introduce them to your kids.
73621
As long as you are honest about your intensions up front. I am recently divorced and dating several men. But they all know I'm not looking for a committed relationship I'm just looking to meet people and see where it goes.  I don't talk to them about the other guys, but I do keep it casual. It all depends on the people your dating and where they are at in life. If they are mature, they understand the difference of causal dating and "cheating".  But be aware... if you see someone is really starting to develope strong feelings for you... be fair to them!\n\nGood luck and have fun. There is nothing wrong with getting to know several people.
229066
My opinion would be: start to once again see your ex. But on a "haven't seen you in years so what's up" type of seeing him. Get to know him once again. Maybe even do some volunteering that you can do with bringing you child (if their old enough, have them help out too). Invite your ex to come & volunteer too. While volunteering you can see what he's like around people he doesn't know and in an environment he's not used to. Plus you can see how he acts around your kid & if your kid likes him (most important). \n\nAfter everything has had time to "settle" and you know if you could have another relationship (after going over everything that you have noticed and if your kid likes him), then you can contemplate whether or not if you'd want to be with him. If it's mutual with you both, then that's when I would bring up the point with your current husband. Talk to him about you & him only (don't bring up your ex AT ALL). From his answers and reactions to what you're telling him (with you saying he's becoming to controlling), then you can decide if you should get a divorce. If that does occur, then you will have your ex that you can go back to. He will be there for both you and your kid. Plus if a divorce does occur, and everything works out, then you can get married. \n\nWouldn't know, but maybe when you talk to your husband have some friends &/or family with you too. For many reasons such as support, their side of the story, and if anything happens...hopefully not (DON'T have your kid there. have them with say your mom, out for the day)\n\nIf your husband does find out about you seeing your ex, he can’t accuse you of cheating, if you spend time volunteering with your kid, or participate in events that you work with other people, but also work with your ex too. So you truly won’t be cheating\n\nHope whatever happens, everything works out!!
976514
your kids will see in time what an idiot their father is being. dont curse him infront of the kids, rant to a friend, dont give your ex the attention he's craving by bringing up this matter, ignore it and be strong for your children. your new partner will have his own feelings about this matter, if he wishes to talk about it then get it out in the open, but avoid talking about this with the kids.
560112
i know people who have. it takes attention/energy away from the children to be channelled to the girlfriend/boyfriend. children sometimes become resentful; rarely turns out as a good situation. i work in child protection and abused children are often at the hands of their parents' gf/bf.\nbad idea all around. if i had children and somehow ended up single, i think i'd hold off on dating until they were older. the problem is that if you date someone with kids, you aren't going to love those children as much as your own unless you are absolutely amazing, and so many lie to themselves that they love their sig.other's kids but then they have a bio kid of their own together and suddenly that child is more important- your own flesh and blood. i'm dead serious i see this all the time.
301614
Yes.\n\nI don't even need to know anything else about the situation. If you two want to be together, you can wait until the divorce papers are finalized.\n\n:)
365432
I'm in a similar situation with 3 kids (2,5,7).  At first I thought it would be better to be with a never-married single w/o kids; now I feel that it's better to be with a divorced man with or without kids because of the similar understanding and bad experience of divorce as well as the willingness and commitment to NEVER be divorced again, especially if someone has kids, there are too many people's lives our decisions are affecting.  I also need answers...thanks for asking and good luck!
650863
My parents waited for 5 years before having kids, which I think was a good idea. If you get divorced in 3 years, there are no kids mixed up in it. Plus, you'll never have much private time with your spouse until the kids grow up and move out.
955334
honey to let you know i am basically going threw the same thing but i am the divorced one w/a child. and there is this wonderful guy.. put just give it time. if he really likes you he will let you know or just come out and ask him where you stand in his life. or you can ask him what he really want in life.. but don't push the issue. remember he does have a child and he doesn't want some body that is going to come and go in there life.. :)
73868
Just do it.  Do you really think you are the only one out there dating that has been married for a while and had children?  Your not, so move on.  Go out to a local club/ bar/ hangout and start there first.  Your not looking to find another spouse on your night out, you are just looking for someone to hang out with and go on a few dates with.  It'll be fun!
1085487
That all depends on your actions after the divorce and whether or not you're mature enough to continue to remain friends with your ex and strive to keep continuity in the lives of your children. \nI've been divorced from my sons' mother since 1989, they have both lived with me since then and to this day their mother visits here regularly and they see her constantly. She and I have remained friends despite our differences and as time as passed the wound of a failed marriage have healed and our children have grown with the feeling of a mutual love from both parents.
283558
i think you should stay friends until the divorce is completely over but dont completely shut him out if you have a great feeling when your with him then i think you should go for it after the divorce take it slow first and remember that not all guys are jerks\n\nby the way: sorry about whats happening in your life i know it must be tough
651515
I've been on both sides of this. I lost my mom when I was only 4 years old. My dad remarried almost right away. I was too young at the time to say anything. But later he divorced her and started dating again when I was like 12 years old. None of my siblings were happy about it. We wanted our dad to ourselves.  Well, they got married. We haven't always liked her or got along. But, my dad is happy and that's all that mattera. I've been on the other side too. I dated a man who had two teenage kids. Him and his wife had divorced recently. The kids did not want their dad to date. They made life very difficult and caused me a lot of heart ache. I really liked them and just wanted to get to know them. In the end I simply couldn't do it anymore and I left. He's dating again but I think he's talked to his kids since then and they are a lot more accepting. Moral of the story: If they make your dad happy try to be happy for him. I'm sorry for your loss.
123275
Only you can know that for sure. Why does he talk to his ex wife, do they have children together, then until those kids are at the least 18 and probably longer he will need to talk with her. If he is calling up as there divorce is still new, he may just be concerned that she is alright, ask him why he calls her. My ex called me for months after we broke up just to see if I was alright. You will need to get you insecurity in check for this to work out at all, because they do have a bond no matter what and you have to face that fact. Just talk to him, that is so very very important in a relationship as you can NEVER know what is going on otherwise. Best to you
480381
Don't get back in a relationship with someone just for the kids sake.  It never works!  If you don't feel a connection with her, other than the baby, then a relationship probably won't last that long.  Just telling you because I know too many of my friends (including me) that's been there and done that!
289498
If you really like this person just tell them because you will need to find someone who wants to be with you and you child. The one who can do this is the one you should hold one too. If they ask why you have not told them tell them that you wanted to make sure that they were ready to hear it before you made a commitment to them.
946420
Like I said in your previous q's, it is pretty stupid.  If you were going to get a divorce anyway then why didn't you get a divorce first before going back into the dating scene?  The reason I said to divorce first is to avoid the very complication you are in now, which, as you stated, your wife wants to get back with you.  \n\nAlso, keep in mind that you are not being fair to the person you're seeing.  You are dragging her into your drama.   If you want to date other people you should start with a clean slate.  Divorce first.