What to say to a friend of mine who says her daughter is possessed by a woman who had an affair w her husband?
411158
Go get some professional help, your friend is mentally ill.\n\nIf the daughter is under 16, i would consider informing Social Services (or it's equiv. in your country).
1155610
I went through this type of situation myself a few years back. I had a friend that smoked pot, slept around, neglected her family, blew money, got drunk all the time, that sort of thing. I couldnt see that she was not good for me and when I finally did and cut things out with her things got so good with my husband and me. A few years back she came back into my life and once again I started hanging out with her again. My husband and I started having problems around the same time. The only advice I can give you is to do what my husband did. He would caution me about her influence but allow me to make my own decisions. Eventually I got the big picture and left well enough alone. I began seeing the destructive behavior that she exhibitted and the behavior that tolerated out of her. People like that always do the same thing. They eventually screw up really bad that the other person has no choice but see what they are really all about. Be there for your girl, caution her but trust her to make the right choices. If you try to force your views and beliefs on her she will only reject you and become bitter with you. By giving her room and allowing her to discover the triths on her own it will be a lesson learned for her in the end. If she stops hanging out with this person then she will always blame you for losing a friend. If the situation is too much for you to handle then you need to decide if this relationship is worth saving. If so allow time to take its course. If not then you need to explain to her that you cannot stand by and watch her destructive behavior any longer. That you only want the best for her and if she cannot see that this friendship will only end up hurting her you cannot stanf by and watch. That you love her to much to watch her do that to herself.  \n\nYou cannot force this on her she will only pull away from you and pull closer to the friend. Remember: The father you push the harder she holds on.
1109340
Just the fact that she wasn't honest about who the father actually is can help prove that she's unfit.  Tell him to contact an attorney right away and see about getting custody.
1038009
Yes.\nWhat is the affair you are talking about in your case?
742370
Better to ask if it is politically correct to bear an illegitimate child. It is. Since when does flaunting promiscuity become "okay"! Weird! This is no excuse to punish the child for the sins of the mother, though. If you are speaking to someone and the child is brought into the conversation, better to just say " Sally's daughter", no need (or business of yours) to add the legal status. If the person you're speaking to says "Oh, did Sally get married?" just say , "No, she didn't." If the person is totally ignorant and asks further "Who's the father?" ...just change the subject. If pressed for more info, best to say " Sally obviously prefers to raise her daughter alone for now and that's her prerogative. Can we not talk about her as this conversation is getting too personal."
1100610
She needs to talk to a lawyer. Unless the court has said that she cannot see her daughter, then he has no right to hold her away from her mother. She can go and pick up the girl and take her to lunch and hang out with her away from the new husband, but she has every right to see her daughter! Go to a lawyer and fast! If she already has one, then have her call him/her. That is what they are getting paid for!
1039564
Tell your friend that she's the one being naive about her husband whom she is divorcing. Why should she consider his side anyway?
1094690
I think I figured out what u are saying!\n\nI think you are a very good friend for trying to help your friend through this.  It sounds serious so she may need to go and talk to a counsellor about it.  The counsellor will help her and whatever is said will be confidential.\n\nIf the woman is married and the man is also married, its just asking for problems.  The best thing for her to do is to sit down and evaluate how important her marriage is to her and how important the other man is. \n\nIf she decides she dosnt want anything to do with the other man, then she should change her phone number and move away from him.  She should make it impossible for him to contact her.  It will be hard but she will have you for support and also a counsellor (if she chooses to talk to one).\n\nEither way, she needs to decide what she wants, she cant go on like this, its not only affecting her and making her depressed but its upsetting you too as her friend.\n\nDont tell her what to do, because its her life and she has to suffer the consequences.  Just try and be there for her and be her friend no matter what she decides.  \n\nI hope it all works out well in the end
303799
i think it is going to be really hard for you but you should just try to sit your daughter down explain to her the things of life what you are&#92;were going through.tell her its not the person but the heart.tell her ,her father was not a bad person but the things that were suppose to be between you and him were just not happening and you have now found it in this person. tell her to try to see your lady as a person you love and that loves you and not a female.
1022850
Whatever reason your friend had for divulging to you this information.She did it for a reason.She needs your help Tell the police,they have councellors to talk to your friend and get her protection from her father
562186
I agree with RKRELL and in addition according to what you state in your question with regards to "Due to the fact that her lover told me he was arrested for possession of cocaine that he was going to give her for her birthday last month", I would say you definitely want to make your attorney aware of this. This being true it would seem to me this 'lover' could provide both testimony as to her personal habits of both drug use and adultery which in most states would at the very least afford you possible temporary custody of your sons.
918930
I suggest that the three of you arrange some time for the three of you to sit down and talk. Explain to your daughter that you are happy with this man and that you want to continue having a relationship with him. Tell her how much the both of them mean to you and that he is not your ex-husband and would never dream of hurting either your or her verbally or physically. Ask her why she disapproves of him. Ask him how her disapproval makes him. Tell her how much her disapproval hurts. And, than ask her if she would sit aside her differences and give him a chance for just a little while. Make sure that everyone gives their input on the matter.
783330
I personally think you have made a smart move and are taking responsibility for what is yours. I would NOT stay with or talk with the ex girlfriend. (why mess up what you are trying to recreate). I can understand why you were made at your wife, but she is your wife and more importantly the daughter is yours.
1009347
you should sit down with her and have a calm talk and tell her what the truth is and remind her,what goes on between you and your husband is strictly between you and your husband.
131884
Have the daughter file for Power of Attorney.  Then she should have no problems dealing with her mother's affairs.
53173
Sorry to hear your friend walked into such a situation. There is nothing your friend can do. Her mother is an adult and it is her mom's house. Her mother can do what she wants. Her mother should be ashamed of herself for letting her daughter walk in on such a shocking situation. I hope her mother is a single parent and doesn't live with your friend's father, that would be even more troubling. I just don't get it, that adult's these days have no self control.
970290
Perhaps you could confront them by letting them know that your husband is aware of what was said, and that you feel betrayed because it had been a private conversation between close friends. Let them know that you feel hurt as well, because it has as you have said, made a very tense situation even worse. \n\nIn some ways it is to be expected that these friends of yours would tell their husbands, that is their life partner. What is terribly wrong is for the husbands to turn around and not only repeat your private words and cause more problems for you, but these husbands also ratted on their own wives by telling. Goes to show you that these husbands did not even think about how their actions would afftect you or the bad position they put their ownnn  wives in. Now these women of course will have to face you with what they have done. All around not a good situation. \n\nI would be very hurt by their actions but as well, I do not think they told their husbands to be mean or to do it as gossip but to share in what you are going through and perhaps as women do... run it by someone else in order to get another's opinion.  Perhaps you could keep this in mind as you confront them. They do owe you a big apology..... as well as their husbands.  Good luck... I hope everything turns out ok for you.