My ex-wife told lies about me to my daughter-in-law.The truth involves something our son did.Do I confront?
413434
No, you should confront your ex wife. She should have the facts straight before she tries to spread any rumors about you. I think that your daughter in law needs to know what your son did. He doesn't need to take a chance on hurting his own daughter, but I don't think he would. I also think that your ex wife shouldn't be trying to make problems with you, your son, and daughter in law. It seems like she is bitter and trying to make everyone else miserable. Just explain to your daughter in law the truth, but let your ex know that you don't appreciate her trying to instigate trouble.
436816
Stop jumping half-cocked.  Did you push your husband to have an arguement with her . . . because it sounds like something a woman would do . . . fight with an ex- when they had a semi-descent relationship especially with the kids.\n\nBy having you husband confronting her . . . (on your behest) . . . she turned it that you two don't love his kids, whom she has major custody of.  I know it is untrue . . . but that it what it does look like by doing that . . . both to his kids and to the neighborhood.\n\nYou gave yourselves the black eye . . . \n\nWhat to do . . . live and let live . . . do not get overly involved with her . . . but since his kids are closer . . . maybe it is time for him to take a more active role with his children lives . . . . use the opportunity to repair the damage you both just did.\n\nShe could have thought . . . If I move closer to the children's father . . . maybe he will be more willing to see them . . . apparently not . . . with your reactions.  \n\nSelfish.
994698
The best scenario is to talk to his ex in person one-on-one.  If she is a slut she will lie, if she wants a relationship then she won't.\n\nFamilies will not take your side, they will do what is in their children's best interest.  So don't take anything they say as the truth.\n\nI hate to say this, but you gotta play the game. If you really love him, you have to do everything you can to save the relationship.
919267
Simple....he had an affair....that is what happened...he has no respect for himself, let alone you OR your son OR the other woman.  Don't play his games.  Tell your son that Daddy must be busy and he can call him another time.  Kill your ex with kindness.  Go on about your life as much as you possibly can. When you stop playing his games, he has nothing.  He will continue to try, but as long as you don't play...he will be the one left in turmoil, not you.  Good luck, divorce isn't easy and it doesn't go away.
820446
My ex-wife said she was a good liar. funny thing is, it's the only truth she ever told me.
656181
good on you for telling her off.\nThey are probably continuing more discreetly.\nFace it, they both lied to you until you found them out.
147041
If your spouse is lying to you, there is obviouisly a problem. If the lies are taking this much of a toll on your marriage consider possibly getting marriage counsling. Is there a reason they feel they need to lie. Are they hiding somethin. Communicate, tell him or her this is unacceptable in your book,and you will not stand for it. If you do tell them that stand your ground. A liar is as bad as a cheater.
151641
If he has shown no repentance you can seperate yourself from him for a while. But if you have no proof you need to be very careful. If you suspect he has done this there are probably other deceitful things going on as well that feed the suspicion. If he has not admitted it you need to focus more on the things that you do know and search yourself for you wrongdoings as well. Ask him if you have wronged him in a way that has made him pull away from you. I highly suggest the book "love and respect" by Dr. Emerson Eggerich. This book has been a marriage saver for many. \n\nIf in fact your husband has been outside of the marriage you have the right to divorce. But Jesus wants us to try to make it work anyway. If we can show forgiveness in that sort of situation then we can begin to understand the forgiveness he has for us.\n\nAre there children involved? You kids are learning how to treat people and handle situations based on how you and your husband do these things. Pretend for a moment that your daughter was in the situation you are in now. What would you advise her to do? Or maybe even pretend that your daughter in law came to you with the suspicion that your son was cheating on her. What would you advice your daughter inlaw do do about your son? Looking at it like this helps put things in perspective. \n\nAlso the most important thing to do is PRAY. Ask God for guidance. Try to pray with your husband. I will pray for you now.\n\nDear Heavenly Father,\n\nLord I bring this situation to you in humble prayer and inquisition. May you shine a light here in the darkness. May you guide this woman on what to do. Let her hear your words and obey. I pray that you convict her husband and bring him to repentance. May this couple see the significance their marriage has. And how marriage is a holy union to represent the Christ/Church relationship. May you wipe away the tears and give strength here. Lord let us remember the forgiveness you have as well as the wrath. Bless this womans search and may her efforts be pleasing in your sight. In Jesus's name. Amen
14297
Let it get back to your mother in law that you don't believe she made those statements, because you can't imagine that she would ever say something so awful about you and your kids.  \n\nThen the ball is in her court.
923543
Wow, Paul. Creepy. I agree that that these recent events may seem 'cosmic' in nature, but some of these things may seem suddenly more related because you have her on your mind. Constantly.  Kind of like when you learn a new word or phrase, and then it seems like you hear that word or phrase constantly right after that. Know what I mean?\n\nI think you've become obsessed with her, and you're not really thinking this through.\n\nFirst of all, have you discussed this with your son?  How does he feel about getting to know his mother after all these years? If you contact this woman, that may become a reality, and your son may have a different idea about that.\n\nHow would your wife react to this?  \n\nMost importantly, what purpose would it serve?  I think you have this fairy-tale idea that you'll become pals again and all will suddenly be well.  In reality, you'll be dredging up years of resentment, anger, and disappointment, especially where your son is concerned.  \n\nIs it really worth it?\n\nI can tell you that the reality of the results of such an endeavor will rarely live up to your hopes.\n\nDon't look at all these recent events as a MESSAGE.  That's an EXCUSE.  You want us to encourage you to do this thing.\n\nI'm not gonna do it.\n\nGood Luck,\n\nPolly
573235
I suspect that the two of you were not telling the same story, although you think you are. But this is immaterial. Why listen to advice from other people? If you have both decided that divorce is the best way forward, then this is what you should do. Forget other people's opinions. These just muddy the water. Just be thankful that the two of you have made this decision and can still be friendly towards each other.
690296
I couldn't agree more. My sister in law was going for a job and had to put down names of references on her resume. She put down a name (my ex mother in law) that the employment officer knew. The name was the surname of my exhusband. The employment officer queried my sister in law to find out if she knew me. My sister in law said that she did, and the employment officer went about saying how much a bitch I was for treating my exhusband the way I did!!! She rambled on about things she didn't even know about, things about me and things about my children. Apparently she is the employment officer for my exhusband and he has set about telling her things about me that is none of her business. To top it off, he lied through his teeth about me to this woman, told her personal stuff, and she passed it on to my sister in law whom she doesn't know from a bar of soap! She doesn't know me and I don't know her, we have never met, yet she shares false information with the general public. I now know her name and I feel like applying for a job through her agency, just so I get my chance to tell her who I am and what I think of her defamatory remarks. What do you think??
806641
You are very Amazing and smart and more forgiving than your wife deserved .....Troy&Mike were being abused by a violent child\n\nAnyone who would ask you to get rid of part of your family Exspecialy after you forgave her sick twisted past secrets \n\nDump the liar ...you deserve better
962060
i think it would be wise to ask your hubby what is his opion about all of this first before asking other peoples opinion. since he already know everything about your past, and i think his ok with it, give your man the respect, by asking for his help his your problem. but for me i dont think it would be wise to tell your ex about the baby, for it will definitely open doors for a questions and if i were your husband i would definitely dont want you to get too involved with your past specially with what happened to you and your ex. but thats just me. . .  the best thing you can do is to pray for God's guidance. goodluck and GODBLESS to you and your family.
206775
funny story...i once did this to my ex. we talked for ever online and he didn't kow it was me. he suspected it but never knew for sure. i causght him in some pretty big lies. he lead "me" to believe he was single and mentioned nothin of our son. (he had 3 children and only said he had 2) he also mentioned meeting up and things like that. that told me all i needed to know as far as what i was thinkin he was up to online all night. so in my opinion no you didn't take it too far
562186
I agree with RKRELL and in addition according to what you state in your question with regards to "Due to the fact that her lover told me he was arrested for possession of cocaine that he was going to give her for her birthday last month", I would say you definitely want to make your attorney aware of this. This being true it would seem to me this 'lover' could provide both testimony as to her personal habits of both drug use and adultery which in most states would at the very least afford you possible temporary custody of your sons.
976341
Tell the truth. She shouldn't have lied in the first place