well i'm a chriatian and i'm having some marriage problems that are affecting me and never has felt this way
415070
Is your husband a Christian, too?  Do you have an older couple in your congregation that you admire who might be able to counsel you?
933946
Glad to see you're a Christian....\n\nPlease try not to feel this way.  I remember feeling like that at one time, too.  I used to wonder about what God wanted me to do in my life, then I realized He has written it right there what He wants us to do...its all in His word!!\n\nAs for the recreation, pray about it.  Ask the Lord for His will to be done.  Keep letting your light shine, hon...and heads up!!  You've already made the wisest decision you could ever make...the decision to serve the Lord!!  Trust in Him, and He will guide you.\n\nGod Bless
60391
Dint you realise whom are u getting married to in the first place and if not.. now if at all you want to separate and move away from your marriage then i believe you must be having a strong feeling of hatred towards her... if you do then why are you bothered about her mind and her not agreeing about things... just consult a lawyer and get your way cleared...\nBUT... if you are worried and bothered about her mental state then somewhere you still feel for her... get those feelings ahead and try to give yourself a second chance...\n\nRemember LIFE is NOT about quiting the tough tasks in your path... go around ... fight them .... Make situations turn ... Life then would be worth living...\n\nAlso dont forget...Once a looser always a looser... Be a fighter.. After all she's your wife and who would know more about her than you do... Tackle her in her own way...Humans do change... \n\nAnd moreover for a Wife, her Husbands love can definitely do the magic...
799345
u r sick maybe bcs god punishes u 4 sex b4 marriage.i suggest u to pray to God wishing that u will b forgiven.
218999
Well you are. Trust me you are. Sounds like you don't like whats going on. Change it. That simple, change it even if you don't like what you change it to the act of changing will go along way to making you feel better. Also, leave God, Jesus, or what ever out of it. That just cause more problems.
497738
This is a tough one. Your best bet is to take a personal inventory before you do anything else.\n\nYou have at least three issues here.\n\n1. You are not married to the person who is also the mother of your child.\n2. Your girlfriend/child's mother also has another child which is not yours.\n3. You have an issue with commitment.\n\nWhere to begin? You must begin with yourself. I believe this is some of the best advice I can give, because until you do the following you will be unsure of the direction you need to take.\n\nTake some time out for yourself and go somewhere peaceful and quite. Ask yourself the following questions:\n\n1. Who am I?\n2. How have I gotten myself into this situation?\n3. What are my dreams?\n4. What are my goals?\n5. What are my likes?\n6. What are my dislikes?\n7. What do I believe in Spiritually?\n8. How have my decisions been in conflict with who I am or in what I believe in?\n9. What do I want to teach my children?\n10. What am I teaching my children by my current actions?\n11. What do I believe about marriage?\n\nUntil you can answer truthfully these questions you will have a difficult time being a father and husband.\n\nMy desire is for you and this lady to go through some counseling together, work through some issues, and then get married. When both of you can be independantly strong and partners in the relationship then things will get better. However, until you look at yourself first you won't be effective with them. It has to start with you. You can't tell her what to do.\n\nAlso, other good advice is to continue to take care of yourself, exercise, and get adequate sleep. Pay attention to your responsibilities as a provider, a husband, and a father. Even though you aren't married you are living like you are married. Until there is an official break then you need and must be comitted to your family.
949109
I can't speak from the Muslim religous aspect but can tell you I have a female Christian friend married to a Muslim.  Their relationship & marriage was fantastic at first but once their daughter was born things changed.  His religion took presidence.  He sent his daughter overseas to be raised by his family & their beliefs and he refuses to allow my friend to go to church anymore.  Not to say, this is what would happen if you were to marry this man.\n\nNext, I am sure you have prayed on this long and hard.  If you are finding more discomfort, worry, fear or confusion in marrying this person than the Holy Spirit is probably warning you not to.  God is a God of order.  He has not given you the spirit of fear but of love, of power and of a sound mind.\n\nI would recommend getting into the concordance of your Bible and look up marriage and divorce to be sure you line up all of your questions, feelings & decisions to what the word says.  Read all the scripture from the Old & New Testament.  Write the ones down that jump off the page and meditate on them.  Fast if you feel you are not finding the direction you should take.\n\nYou can use an online website http://www.crosswalk.com to do some of your research if a Bible isn't handy.\n\nRemember one thing, no one can tell you the path you should choose and they don't know how God is leading you.  This is something only you can figure out.  Close your mind off to all worldly views and seek after God for His decision in your life.\n\nI will say from everything I've read on the subject, as a Christian, you would not be in sin.  But I think you would be opening doors to a very difficult life in comparison to waiting on God to bring you a Christian man.\n\nDivorce is not an option - it never is.  So marrying this person no matter what happens until death do you part will be a vow you make with God.  Be sure you are truly ready to make this kind of committment before going any further. \n\nKeep in mind, someone who believes in a god other than the one we know is not led by a Holy & loving God.  Therefore, you end up joining together as one with someone who is being led by something else.  Ultimately, their decisions and mind are not being formed by the living word, the Holy Spirit and our heavenly Father.  If he doesn't have a relationship with Jesus Christ than you are not going down the same path.\n\nI realize you must love this man very much or the question you pose wouldn't be so heart wrenching.  I pray you find your way and the life ahead is filled with much love, peace & joy.\n\nI am happy to chat more if you want to write.
491119
I know nothing of marriage problems, but my mother and I were physically and emotionally abused by her spouses.  She is still married to the one who has only caused her mental anguish.  I never liked him, because he abused me physically for fifteen years and I was afraid of him and no one did anything about it until I was about 17.  I have suffered manic depression for many years and I am probably borderline bipolar, but more than anything I am depressed a lot of the time, but I have found out through life's experiences that depression is something that everybody goes through.  It's the way we all handle it that seperates us all.  Therapists are all full of shit and know nothing of how to deal with it.  They tell you so many different things that end up just confusing the shit out of you.  The best way to deal with it all in my experiences is to take what life gives me and just smile and say, "I'm a damn good person and I don't have to take it."  I just keep on going.  My confidence came through when I took an acting class at Tulsa Community College in Tulsa, Oklahoma.  It was the best thing I have ever done.  It literally changed my life, because it was something that I enjoyed.  So, find a hobby or do something that you enjoy.  Find happiness through yourself.  Don't look to therapists.  Find something you enjoy doing and are good at and then you will find happiness.  You're better off not being married, in my opinion.  You'll find the one you're looking for someday, but you need to find yourself before you can find anything or anyone else.  Be true to yourself and you will be happy.  Meds are not always the answer.  They just screw with you.  Like "And Then" said, take a break from everything.  Pack a bag and get the hell out of Dodge.  Good luck and Best Wishes,\n\nJeremiah Douglas Ruddle\na.k.a.\nJ.D. King
17670
Actually Im having a affair right now-Iam a Christian women who is a leader in my church and have been having a on an off again affair with the same man for almost 3yrs  It has come to the point that I am considering leaving my husband for this man.  Its a very confusing feeling.  My husband and I have been rocky for about 4yrs and I actually met this man when we were seperated and a I was going to another church.  This other man is now in jail and I am sooo considering being with him as DUMB as it sounds.  Dont be fooled my husband is not a innocent bystandered he has cheated on my on three occasionsw and its been about 2yrs and now he wants to put 100% into our relationship but Iam very tired of making it work and just want out. I have never been unfaithful before and I would of never considered having a affair before I feel in love with this other man
1101330
Don't feel that way.\nGo to a Christian (not Catholic, they're different) church and ask for help from a pastor.  Pray.  Ask God for strength and help for fixing your home.\nIf you seek Him, He will come to you.
140575
Depression could make you this way......what would you be depressed about?\n\nMaybe you are not clinically depressed, maybe you are apathetic?\n\nDo you need to do some soul-searching perhaps? Is there anything bothering you that you are holding back?\n\nIs this your normal mode of behavior? If not, do you recall your nromal moce of behavior?\n\nDo you mas_turb_ate? If so, do you think about your fiance`? (sorry....not trying to be crude with you. I pretty much tell it like it is, but it was an honest and sincere question). That if that's normal but your sex life is not, then that's a red flag. Understand? :)\n\nI guess I'm just asking you some questions that may help spark you into thinking about something that you may not have realized was bothering you.\n\nHow about past relationships. Any problems with sex like it is now?\n\nHow long has this been going on?\n\nI think if you can manage to pinpoint when this started you may be on the right track to what's bothering you.\n\nAre you being honest with yourself about marrying your fiance`? Do you think it's possible that you don't love him the way you think you probably should, but feel sort of helpless now that you are engaged? That perhaps instead of saying something to him, and to everyone else that you're making a mistake, but you feel he'd be crushed and your family wold go ballistic......so instead of dealing with all that stuff, your feelings sort of found their own outlet....their own release, and that is to let go of everything? There's no fear, no anxiety, no worry, but there's also no joy no excitement and of course....no sexual desires.\n\nI'm just speculating.....trying to be a sound-board for you. Maybe ask questions you haven't been able to ask yourself maybe.\n\nAlso.....let me point out to you dear one......normal is not what everyone else is or does or thinks. It's what's right for you. You are obviously going thru a growing persion with yourself. You're behaving in a foreign way, you recognize it but don't have any answers. Someone who knows themselves well, usually knows why they feel what they feel, and how they would react to certain situations.\n\nMaybe you've started obsessing about this. Maybe it really wasn't a problem to begin with, but if you are obsessing about it you have turned it into a problem.\n\nI'm assuming from your question that you actually did have a sex drive at one time. Did something happen between then and now?\n\nWhat about medications for whatever? Anything?\n\nJust throwing ideas to you. I don't have any difinitive answers for you. I hope you figure out what's going on tho.\n\nBest wishes to you, and I hope you have a happy life filled with love for always.
710600
Contact Evergreen International.  They will be able to give you a lot of help.\nThis is a very hard challenge and it will be a difficult road.  One thing I suggest is to not try to figure it out with all the different theories of men.  There is a lot of political garble out there that can easily confuse a person.  Stay with good books by people you trust, ie, the prophets and those that support them.\nAlso, talk to people about this.  Often you feel secluded in this trial, you shouldn't.  Remember that many people have these feelings and you will be surprised where help can be found.  Talk to your parents, to your Bishop, and possibly to any close friends you trust.  The more open you are about this, the less lonely you will feel.\nGood luck, pray often, and don't give up.  I know that this is hard, but it isn't impossible to live a happy life!
214647
If you hadn't said you haven't married for a long I would have probably known. I think you don't "know" your husband yet. I personally don't agree with such kind of behaviours but I think this unusual thing you see stems from somewhere else. This can be a "sign" to you which shows your husband has some sort of psycological problem which should be cured. You can eventually find the root of this if you continue your marrage. Time will show this to you and it cannot be hidden of course if you don't get divorced. Its your decision. If you continue your marrage and live with him you might as well be able to help him. If you just tell him not to do this action and even if he doesn't, you haven't solved anything, you have just covered the problem. But of course don't go up to him and say ' you have psycological problem' he might get upset !
784309
You need to pray my friend! Prayer is very powerful. Read "Power of a Praying Wife"\nGo to a Christian church and ask for prayer. It is free and best thing you can do for yourself. Trust me I know. Prayer has restored my dying marriage. Praise the Lord!
715068
DO NOT MARRY this man. I hope you have confidence and the boldness to get up and leave now.\n\nYou should try getting some counselling from a Pastor at a Christian church. They are very helpful and free of charge.\n\nI Pray the best for you & your children.\n\nGod Bless!
536149
It doesn't sound a very happy situation to be in.\n\nWhen you married, you made some promises to your wife. They were quite serious ones, and it was a permanent contract. What you think of that is your own affair. I have learned to try not to moralise about what others do because, when it comes down to it, I am no better myself.\n\nI think your first concern should be to write down all the options and find the way that will give all people concerned the most happiness (or the one that will cause the least hurt, if you prefer to look at the negative side of it). \n\nYou must also involve the others somehow. They are also people with as much right as you, if not more, to have feelings, to make a choice and to have a say in things. \n\nIf you are a very brave man, you would meet with everyone involved and discuss your problem with them honestly! A counsellor is useful as a mediator and 'chairman' in meetings like this.\n\nWhatever you do, however, you MUST be honest and open with yourself and everybody else and you MUST communicate. You certainly don't have the right to make decisions for other people, only yourself.\n\nIt's worth bearing in mind that our lovers, friends and acquaintances serve specific purposes in our lives. We tend to make friends - and keep them - for our specific needs. We   nearly all have 'giving' needs as well as 'taking' needs, so the relationships are mutually beneficial.\n\nLove does not always involve jumping into bed with someone (sex is one of our needs, of course, and should be shared with someone we love). I would look very carefully at what it is you feel for this other woman - and what you feel is lacking in your relationship with your wife.\n\nIt's a hard decision and may take a long time to resolve. As long as you think carefully before deciding what to do, consider others' happiness before your own and remember that one can love someone deeply and, perhaps desire them, yet still decide not to follow the whims of Little Willy.\n\nI wish you well.
301642
You say you are a Christian and so am I... one of the symptoms of PTSD is victimizing others. I believe this is what he is doing. I suggest that you insist on two things - first, that he get out of the military the next chance he gets, and two that you go to counseling - TOGETHER. God does not allow for divorce in very many cases... adultery is one of them - if he gets physically abusive, that would also be an exception. If you are interested in saving your marriage, which you seem to be, then I suggest you try this. Your husband is going through something that you cannot understand, but he is dealing with it very poorly. So the solution is for you to understand, for him to get help, and for you to get help healing your heart. You have to get back on the same page. By the way, if you don't get help and the situation escalates, you could be at risk for PTSD, too. Best of luck and God Bless.