why is it my 36 year old fiance is not worried about himself in bed just my needs??
412161
Because you are ready please him in bed . . . he wants to make sure he pleases you . . . so you don't go out looking for fulfillment elsewhere.
1046699
I'm simply in awe that you were able to wait that long before you decided to take your relationship to the bedroom...\n\nIf you are scared about the weight, woman on top and spooning are good choices.  Same with doggy style.  \n\nTalk with him and find out what he thinks.  Does he have the same concerns as you?  \n\nAlso, I see no reason to post that he is of a different race.  If it doesn't bother you any other time, why should it be a factor now?
516123
Welcome to the party! I personally believe that men think just because your married your "SUPPOSED" to have sex with them on a regular bases but just as they may want that need replenished we need things as well. Like you said it takes trust and it takes some help on his part when it comes to helping around the house. Some men think that those small things do not matter but those are very big things to a lot of women.
1180231
They are saying you don`t matter enough to me to be kind and understanding!There is a possibility your husband is mad about something you don`t even know happened and needs to discuss it with you in a reasonable kind fashion.Also at certain ages some men louse sexual drive,he may be embarrassed and is hiding it with avoidance and anger.I would lean towards keeping a close eye on his activities and try to find out what he is so interested in other than his hot wife.There are some real weird people out there and it is amassing how well they can hide there deviant behavior.An acquaintance of mine, husband,liked little girls and left her alone one to many times and she found out.Here is a good rule for married people,if you can`t show your spouse what you are doing on your computer you most likely should`nt be doing it.Get some help ask a counselor in the mental health dept.of a clinic or hospital. Do it,DO IT NOW!
875414
I would say the man really cares about you.  Men are selfish and the longer he can keep his own space he will do that. No one like to change thier ways of living, but this is a comprmise to share a space. i really do not think it is a sex thing.
651272
maybe the problem is that you live together..i mean you see each other all the time...theres no more anticapation of wondering when you'll see each other.  the other thing could be that he knows the things that you do that arent soo "ladylike" just be a lil more girly in the next little while...bend over and show him what he's missing.. and wait for him to throw to the bed!! hahaah
404597
Who are these middle aged men are they married?  Maybe they didn't marry the right one.  Me and my husband have been married 15 years(not all easy). I love him more today than I did 17 years ago when I met him and our sex is greater than ever.  If you love each other, are committed to each other and can share your thoughts and emotions GO FOR IT!!!\n\nGood Luck:-)
715212
Your question brought tears to my eyes.  Your life sounds like mine when I was 20.  My so called boyfriend and I are 5 years apart also and we have a child together.  Your fiance sounds just like mine years ago. The life you are living is a hard one, I can feel your pain.   I left my boyfriend several times because of his controlling crazy ways. My friends werent good enough, he didnt like me to go out, he was jealous of anything and everything.  And he accused me of sleeping with anybody and everybody (male, female, dog, cat, if I looked at it I was sleeping with it).  He couldnt hold down a job either.  He was a good father also.  Remember men like this make good fathers because they are CONTROLLING. I used to think is this all there is for me like you do but trust me its not.  You can take your child and raise it by yourself.  I raised 2 kids at your age by myself.  Trust me this man is only going to drag you down.  Here I am years 15 years later and I am STILL going back and forth with the same man.  Only difference is now he has changed he is no longer that controlling jerk he used to be.  But it took 15 years to get here. And that is only because he matured in some areas but in other areas he is still a jerk.  We dont live together so why am I holding on? I am working on myself now to figure that out.  My question to you is.  Do you want to wait 15 years like me for this man to finally treat you with the respect you deserve? I can see your like me, you need to save yourself from yourself.  I thought I was in love, funny thing is I still do, but I also know what is best for me.  Men like this never change.  Mine changed his controlling ways but only because he had no choice.  I have figured out through the years that guys like this are always going to find a way to hurt you.  The hurt never stops.  Don't say you made your bed so you should lie in it.  No one deserves the kind of treatment you receive.  I really think you will be able to make a good life for you and you child.  I did.  I am successful and have 2 great kids.  Funny thing is now "jerk" wants to settle down.  But the past is some thing you never forget.  Especially when he is still doing little stupid things that hurt me.  Like I said the hurt never stops.  I would love to give you strength and advice to help you through this because I can sense there is probally more to your story just like their is more to mine.  Dont think you are being selfish.  That was my problem years ago.  I put everyones happiness before my own.  Only sacrifice you need to make is for your child, remember that.  Your child needs to be raised in a loving argue free environment.  It is going to be hard.  Beause this guy has ahold of your mind, more than a hold on your heart.
541674
I was married for 10 years to a man 24 years older than I was, but it really worked. I'm an old soul, and he had a very active inner child. We probably would still be together were it not for a logistical problem: He was claustrophobic, and I have the hoarding form of OCD. We had the EXACT same sense of humor, we were both great listeners and sharers, enjoyed doing almost all the same things together, had the same friends (both his age and my age). But the OCD problem caused him to stay away from home more and more after we'd been married several years, and to drink more and more. In the end, he was unhappy, I was unhappy, I gained a lot of weight, he was put off sexually. I guess we both were by then. But I love him still. The morning of our divorce, we went out to breakfast after!\nThe short answer is, it can be a wonderful match, very companionable, if there are no addictions or neuroses to drive you apart.  If you are attracted to each other and intellectually compatible, temperamentally compatible, go for it.  (Men his age would always look at us and wink or high-five him.)
937423
The fact that he falls asleep when his head hits the pillow isn't nearly  as much concern as to why you are barely intimate.  The relationship should not be quite as hot & heavy as it first was but there should still be something going on.\n Is his job stressful?  Is he working really long hours?  Is his job very physical?  Has your sexual appetites always been different?  Has this always been a problem & you thought it would get better?  Was he abused as a child?\n\nThere's so much that could be going on.  The two of you need to talk about this.
672340
I'm not a bloke, but my friend is gay and he has the same problem. He believes that men are more programmed to sleep around. Also there's the biological reason that men have an inate urge to spread their seed to increase diversity of popluation, whether gay or straight, they're still male so the urge remains. I think in a striaght relationship the man has learned to be more sensitive becasue females in general bring out a more protective urge in men. \n\nI hope that you manage to sort out the issues in your relationship; if it were me, and I was "taking a break" I personally would not jump into bed with random people, but I would not blame my partner for doing so if he desired to. As long as he is faithful when we are together, that is all I care about.\n\nGood luck!
1010924
So it is ok when you are tired and not interested, but not ok when he is tired and not interested?\n\nMaybe there is something going on here that isn't about you and your needs...
1014613
I was about to answer your question and then I started to think that there isn't a pole long enough to get me to even attempt to answer you. I will anyways. Okay, here goes. I think your fiance is mixed up. He should be spending time with his son at least, even if you and he have issues. This is why I say I think he is mixed up. He may have been cheating on you and it didn't work out for him and now he wants what he had back again but he is afraid that he has some infection or something so he tells you he doesn't want anyone. It sounds like he is messing up big time. This is my perspective if you and he are in your twenties or younger. If you are in your 30s or 40s his behavior doesn't make sense because I don't think he would cheat and then cover it up with lies and I think he would spend time with his son at least.\n\nI think you both are young and he is messing up in more than one way. This is only my opinion. I am not a cheater and your fiance's behavior doesn't make sense to me unless I examine it from what I think a cheater might do. Hey, if he is willing to cheat on you , maybe he is willing to lie about it to by saying something like I don't want anyone. Everyone wants someone. He isn't being honest. That is my gut feeling.
264360
Talk it out, dude. That's the only way to get things right. But hey, be careful in doing so. It might be too much to ask but believe me, you'll need ounces of patience and tons of prudent speech as this maybe a sensitive ish. He probably needs to shower more often so he wouldn't have to do that again. Good luck! =)
764999
If it doesn't concern you then mind your own business. Sounds like your a busy body. Just let it be he will get his in end.
466135
Believe it or not his age or if he is sexually attracted to you could have absolutely nothing to do with it.  If he recently took any medicine I mean anything, that can have an effect on it and make is erection not last as long.  He also could unconsiously be having some issues.  If a man feels insecure or any sort of problem then they can experience other issues.  Believe it or not women and men both can have problems like this.  The environment you are in, the stress of your day, little things can make a man lose his erection or a women to not remain moist.  See I'm 22 and my boyfriend is 33.  He has that problem sometimes, and I know you may think it is because he is older.  But little things like a stomach ache can influence his performance, if he is tired it can alter it, if we have sex a lot in one day it can just be that one time, and then 20 minutes later he can be fine.  But if you make it a big deal, that can also be a problem, because if he feels insecure about the fact that it even happened the first time, that could be the problem.  If he felt insecure the first time, everytime there after he could be thinking about how he hopes it doesn't happen and then it might happen just because he is thinking about it.  I would just try to work on keeping him going through 4 play first, then once he seems to be completely into it then try sex, but if he goes to lose his erection go right back to 4 play and try to keep him hard, don't just stop because that could make him more insecure.
239704
Why is he still single (unmarried) at 43? Why do you always have to start the discussion about moving in together? Why did he make that remark?\n\nI think you are right to wonder about his commitment to the relationship. But don't overreact - take it easy. I may be wrong!