live and let live.....can this work in marriage?
398300
I have to say no.  My ex-husband and I tried that but it doesn't work because even if you don't say how you feel it doesn't mean you don't feel that way.  Then it seems like everything is bottled inside and eventually you blow up.  It's a nice idea but not very plausible.  Another thing in marriage is it's not always so hard to forgive it's the forgetting that's the problem.  So, my advice is find another way counseling, talking, or if that's not an option I hate to say but divorce is better than being your spouses "roommate", you can't just stop caring even if you think you can.
613203
There is no guarantees in life and love. The only thing that will make it work is trust, honesty and very open communication. you have to go into the marriage with open eyes knowing that sometimes you may not agree and that there will be problems, It won't all be peaches and cream. The problem that I can see here is the lies about small things, If one is lying about the small things you could only assume that it would definately happen with the giant ones also. Your reaction to the small things could make or break whether he would feel comfortable with telling you the truth,  If you talk it out show him your hurt by it but that those things that he lied about aren't going to hurt your relationship if he had told you the truth I think that maybe he would possibly not fear the truth. If you freak out and threaten the relationship I'm pretty sure the problem would get worse.  also a relationship can't work if both aren't working on it, I've seen many relationships with one party saying I want to work it out but the others heart isn't really into it.
150630
It is pretty common to be a little unsure.  I think that even continues into the marriage sometimes.  You would be wise to ask yourself why you aren't sure though.  Make sure it isn't anything that goes against your personal values, morals and priorities.  If it doesn't, and you love him, commit to staying committed.  The most important thing to making a relationship work is that neither of you is willing to give up.
141810
I think it's a personal question that has to be addressed individually. It depends on what is important to you. If you have an absolute need to know what the other person is like every day, all the time, then perhaps you should. Or if you believe in love and what a commitment to marriage means, then take the faith that you love this person no matter what their personal habits. You can get to know a person's character without living with them, but again, it's up to you and them. As for strengthening a relationship, more studies show that it doesn't, but everybody's different. You also have to think about your potential kids and what kind of an example would you want to set for them? Years down the road what are you going to want to be able to say to them about moving in with their partners? That usually will reflect what is in your own heart and you should listen to that.
269364
If both of you are happy in the relationship and both of you are achieving the goals of the relationship, I'd say it's working.  Of course, I'm talking about a relationship per se which assumes that you are both decided on where or how the relationship is going to be. If one of you wants marriage and the other doesnt, then it may not be working out at all.
967088
Hey, you have my name!  J/K, glad to see another believer has my name at least.  My thoughts and prayers for you are that you truly seek God's face during this time.  Getting married will not solve your fiance's situation.  In fact, it might compound it with the newness of marriage and everything sexual involved with it.  I commend him for his want to overcome his situation, and I truly believe he needs to seek Godly counseling through the pastor or another strong believer with experience in these areas.  You, also, should attend counseling.  Don't let co-dependency conform you to "accepting" his addiction because your love is all powerful.  It can happen and that I believe is not God's will.  We should love God first, and our spouse second.  In this be on your face seeking God's will for your life.  Another thing for your fiance to keep in mind is that he doesn't have to prove anything to God, God knows every hair on our heads, I would think he knows what is in the depths of each of our hearts too.  He really has to live a different life daily and dissociate himself from everything to date that has caused his situation.  Counseling, support and accountability are what he needs big time.  Prayers and love =)
770416
I believe that it can work. but you both have to be willing to make it work and want it to work then it will. GOOD LUCK!!
577233
We waited till marriage\n\nWe havee now been married for nearly 14 years and are very happy together.\n\nI think being able to wait did encourage us to put our relationship into areas that we could build our friendship on - and that i find to be the most important part of marriage is being able to like and respect one another and being able to relate to one another.\n\nSex - great - but if that is all the relationship is based on then it wont last very long.  Also if you hav waited and the first night isn't the best then you still have commitment from each other to work on it rather than on relying on it to pull you through.\n\nResisting temptations - if that is really difficult then don't have a long engagement - bring the date forward if need be.  The marriage is more important than having a 'big' day after all.  But meanwhile - resisting temptations - try not to take long periods of time alone indoors (chaperones?) - that is when temptation can strike most often.  also avoid heavy petting - and bear in mind if you haven't got one then PAWZOFF until you are married (and NO i am NOT referring to not touching his car or her microwave!)\n\nI hope that some of the above helps\n\nand God bless your upcoming marriage\n\nwhen is the happy date?
498772
ABSOLUTELY!!\nMy husband and I have just celebrated our 27th anniversary married and 28th together. The love we have today is much more than what we had on our wedding day. Our relationship is stronger and deeper than ever because of the 28 years we have been through together. You always hear the saying "through all the ups and downs", well it is so true. There were so many times during the first 5 years that I could have said "see ya". But I didn't. We had our first after we'd been married two years, he lost his job shortly after she was born and jobs were real hard to find so we had no money. We had to rely on family and other means to survive. But we did. I had faith in him and I had my Faith in God that we would get through. \nThere were many other financial hardships through the years that should have torn us apart and would have torn other couples apart, but we refused to let that happened becaused we loved each other and had faith in our marriage. We worked together. There was one time around our 17th year that we separated for awhile but I am too bullheaded to let him throw all that time away. So with some fight and work we saw what we needed to do and what we had done. We took each other for granted.\nOur marriage today is stronger, more passionate and devoted than ever. We have a greater understanding of what each other needs--time for each other and for ourselves. Be there for each other but know when to step back and stand beside each other for each other against all others no matter what.\nHe is my heart and soul. He is in law enforcement and I send him out every night with a kiss, a hug and I love you. The rest is in God's hand. I know there is always a chance that he may not come home or he may get seriously hurt. I take that chance because I love him that much. I can honestly tell you this much. If for some reason I would lose him to his job or by nature, he will be it for me. There will be no other in my life. That is how deep he is in my life.\nSo yes, there is long-lasting relationships and deep abiding love. It takes two to make them and lots of hard work every day. But the rewards are worth every minute of the life you will have together.\nI hope this helps
117916
Yes I have. I believe imagination is what helps keep a marriage a float, and hepls me stay faithful. My marriage is still struggling for other issues, so my imagination helps getting through the act sometimes. Good luck with your relationship!
371697
as long as you both feel as winners ,yes its good!but marriage is all built on how much you try to be a winner and also make him to feel same!for me,although it was tough as we have too many differences,specially different cultures,it was very good!we fight,get sad,love,respect,share,laugh and ... looking at same thing and seeing differences is not matter but careing about similarities is the secret of a good marriage!
132809
Yeah, it's a partnership... God doesn't want your husband to lord over you but if you submit yourself to the Lord, then you'll be able to submit to him. And if HE submits himself to the Lord, he'll be able to do it the right way and not the way people think it should be done. Will you both get it right? No, but both must be willing to submit to God first and that's difficult but he sent to you his Spirit who will guide you into all truth and will lead you both. marriage should be a partnership, not a lordship though the man is untimately responsible.
1067297
Yes it sure is if you choose to work at it and make it everything you can make it be. You can choose to be happy or miserable in your marriage. Love is a choice and goes way beyond just a feeling! Sad part is most people want everything easy and not want to work at their marriage or relationship! It is called laziness. If you work at and love being married and enjoy it other and love them where they are at and not try always having to try to change the other person as the only one we have the power to change at all is ourselves Our marriages would be way more successful and happier and marriage actually could be a marriage like heaven on earth! Treat your spouse with love and how you would want them to treat you and you will never go wrong! http://www.marriagetoday.org is a great website to learn more about this as well. This is how my husband and i feel about our marriage and our life together and we have a great and happy marriage! Another thing that is essential to a marriage to make it last is forgiveness and unselfish love!
630105
it surely can work. it worked with me and it still does. depends on how much you love and trust each other. and if you want to change this someday and be together for real.\ntell him what?
513818
You have to have honesty and trust as well as a devout love for one another.  Sacrifice and compromise are also important factors in a successful marriage.  Without a combination of all you leave too many openings for weakness and marriage should not be weakened in time but rather strengthened.
209588
It sounds like love.  It also sounds like the 1st year of marriage.  You don't talk about why you are arguing, but would counseling help?  I did not live with my husband before our marriage, so during our 1st year there was a lot of...he said, she said...each of us repeating back what we thought the other person said.  Often times, we would have to explain several times until we got it right.  It was not easy, but after the 1st year things got better.  We have been married 8 1/2 years, now.  Sure, we still argue sometimes, but we work it out much easier.  Good luck!
131691
Yes.  I believe that a trend that is emerging in the dating world is to take a cohabitating, married relationship on a test run before actually tying the knot.  Living together is an effective way to see if you are compatible after a long time of dating and not cohabitating.  However, don't be suckered in to living with someone who won't marry you, who is basically playing you on an "extended test run".  They can't have it both ways.