Anyone got any good jokes? or riddles?
401796
A bear is chasing a rabbit through the magic forest when they run into the genie frog!\nThe frog says that he'll grant them each three wishes.\nThe bear says "I wish all the bears, besides me, in this forest are female". The frog says it will be done.\nThe rabbit wishes for a motorbike and gets it immediately.\n"For my second wish", says the bear, "I would like all the bears, besides me, in all the neighbouring forests to be female" \nThe rabbit wishes for a helmet. The bear gives the rabbit a dirty look and says that he has wasted two wishes that he could of had for himself.\n"For my final wish", continues the bear, "I wish all the bears, besides me, in the world are female". The frog grants him his wish.\nThe rabbit then jumps on his bike, puts on his helmet and just before he speeds off wishes "I wish that the bear was gay!"
657916
"any jokes"\nthere.. i just said it \nhahhaha ! i know it;s lame !\nsorry !
877101
LOL.  I liked it.  Best joke I've heard all day. :)  Thanks for cheering me up, I had a shitty day so far.
782220
LOL, a very rare thing on  here is to read jokes that I have not read/heard b4!\nNice to see an original
849868
heheheheeh........hoooooooooohoooooooooo\nmindblowing joke..................awesum................nicejoke
977574
LOVED the joke.  Haven't heard (or read) such a funny joke is ages!!!
1119769
cool joke.pls. answer my riddles too.
200897
I think they're funny.\n\nHere's one for you:\n\nThis guy goes into a bar after a promotion to celebrate with his buddies. After a few drinks he notices, behind the bar, a big jar stuffed with $50 bills, so he asks the bartender about it.\n\nThe bartender replies, "Oh that's just a running bet we have here. You gotta pay $50 into the pot & if you complete 3 tasks, you win the whole jar. As you can see, no one has ever won."\n\nAfter a few more beers & 2 shots of Tequila, the man announces in a slightly tipsy voice, "Screw it, I just got a raise. I can afford to lose $50!" & he slams a $50 on the bar. "OK. What do I gotta do?"\n\n"Well," says the bartender "like I said, there are 3 tasks. First you gotta finish a whole bottle of our homemade 200 proof Fire Water, after that you gotta help my pit bull tied up out back. He's got a sore tooth & you have to go pull it out for him. If you survive THAT, you have to go upstairs & persuade the lady upstairs to have sex with you. She's a virgin & she's 106 years old. Raping her is obviously out of the question."\n\n"Fair enough" said the half-drunk man. The alcohol coursing through his veins had emboldened him. "Gimme that Fire Water!" & lo & behold, he managed, to everyone's shock to finish the whole bottle without pause. \n\nBarely able to keep the contents of his stomach down, he was turned & nudged, by the astonished bartender in the direction of the back door, where the dog was tied up outside. The man stumbled drunkenly through the door & bravely slammed it closed behind him. A fierce barking, accompanied by breaking glass, garbage cans smashing, yelling & groaning erupted outside. After a minute or so of this racket, a loud dog yelp, followed by it's whining was heard.\n\nShortly afterwards, the man stumbled back through the door, his clothes torn, blood dripping from multiple bite wounds & looking like he'd been hit by a truck.\n\nThen demanded in a drunken slurred voice, "OK. NOW WHERE'S THAT OLD LADY WITH THE SORE TOOTH?!!"
993810
Look, these are not just jokes, but oh well.\n\nWhat goes up and never comes down?\nYour age. \n\nKnock, Knock... \n- Knock, knock.\n- Who's there?\n- Arthur.\n- Arthur who?\n- Arthur any better jokes than this?\n\nWhy can't centipedes play soccor?\nBy the time the put on a shield for their last leg, the game is over\n\nKnock knock.\nWho's there?\nYa.\nYa who?\nWhat are you so excited about?\n\n1. What is the easiest way to throw a ball, have it stop, and completely reverse direction after traveling a short distance? \n2. What is at the beginning of eternity, the end of time, the beginning of every end, and the end of every place? \n3. When things go wrong, what can you always count on? \n4. What is always behind you but you can never touch it? \n5. I am never the first to speak but I am always the last to be heard. Who am I? \n6. We were born of the same mother, on the same day, at the same hour and in the same year. Yet we are not twins. How do you explain this? \n7. Two fathers and two sons were seated round a table. There were four apples on the table. Each of them took one apple and ate it entirely yet there was still one apple left on the table. How was this possible? \n8. Before Mount Everest was discovered which was the highest mountain in the world? \n9. Here everything is not always in order. For example, Friday comes before Thursday, the cart comes before the horse, the driver comes before the employer. Where are we? \n10. When I am alive I stay put where I am. It is only when I am dead that I move about here and there. Who am I? \n11. How can you be behind a person when that person is also behind you? \n\nAnswers below.\n1. Throw the ball straight up \n2. 'e' \n3. Your fingers \n4. The past \n5. An echo. \n6. They are triplets. \n7. There were only three persons at the table comprising a grandfather, his son and his grandson. \n8. Mount Everest, of course. It was always there! \n9. In a dictionary. \n10. A leaf. \n11. Put yourself back to back of each other. \n\n1. There are six eggs in the basket. Six people each take one egg. How can it be that one egg is left in the basket?\n\n2. Acting on an anonymous phone call, the police raid a house to arrest a suspected MURDERER. They don't know what he looks like, but they know HIS name in John. Inside they find a carpenter, a lorry driver, a car mechanic, and a fireman all playing cards. Without even asking his name, they arrested the fireman. How do they know they've got their man?\n\n3. Three of the glasses are filled with orange juice; the other three are empty. By moving only ONE glass, can you arrange them so the full and empty glass alternate?\n\n4. There was once a recluse who never left his home. The only time anyone ever visited him was when the food and supplies were delivered, but they NEVER came inside. Then, one stormy winter night when an icy gale was blowing, he had a nervous breakdown. He went upstairs, turned off all the lights and went to bed. Next morning, he had caused deaths of several hundred people. HOW?\n\n1. She takes the basket as well with the last egg still in it.\n\n2. He is the only man - all the others are woman.\n\n3. Take the second glass from the left, pour its contents into the fifth glass from the left then return it to it's original position.\n\n4. He is a lighthouse keeper.\n\n5.The mailman did it, because there is no mail on Sunday.\n\nTongue Twisters\nIf you understand, say "understand". If you don't understand, say "don't understand". But if you understand and say "don't understand".How do I understand that you understand? Understand!\n\n\n\nI wish to wish the wish you wish to wish, but if you wish the wish the witch wishes, I won't wish the wish you wish to wish.\n\n\n\nSounding by sound is a sound method of sounding sounds. \n\n\n\nA sailor went to sea to see, what he could see. And all he could see was sea, sea, sea.\n\n\n\nPurple Paper People, Purple
412130
old joke.\n\ncat suit
82698
I like the riddles aside, beside, inside, outside and near  the jokes:-)
723518
What's the question?  Or is there a joke somewhere in there?
724546
Great Joke!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
435779
Joke was really good and its " Fresh "..\nthats more importent..!!\nha..ha...!!\nplease post more jokes..!!\ni rate it as 1/1 =10/10 =100/100=10000/10000.........!
719788
For some Super Duper lame jokes -http://www.hevanet.com/benh/jokes.html\nhttp://www.cartalk.com/content/timekill/lamejokes/\n\nand for funny ones -\nhttp://www.coolquiz.com/humor/jokes/
1135780
OK - have seen a lot of jokes on here.  THIS ONE MADE ME LAUGH.  Thanks........
557105
Some funny sex jokes.  They're awesome!!!