How at 21 years old without knowing your father that much deal with him being a child sex offender?
411027
I am sorry to hear about your father. I will pray for him and you. Now to your question, if your feel the need to see him or contact him then do it. You may not get the response you want so be aware of that. If there is something you have to say to him do it. Even write it out. I am a life coach, if you wish to email me i wll talk more. speakingforlove @ yahoo.com
355612
***I see by these other answers; schools out for the day :(***\n\nI went through this with my dad, it was VERY hard! He left when I was 1 or so.. He wrote when i was 18, I was to mad and hurt to accept him in my life at the moment.. I had just had my son and wasnt into family reunions if ya know what I mean.. I finally @ 25'ish found him on "class mates" and sent him a free msg.. He wrote back imediatly.. It has helped me in so many ways.. I always had issue because of him.. Afraid all men would leave me, that i wasnt good enough, etc.. Talking and making amends has helped me free myself from subconcious demons.. @ 26 now I can say its a good idea to at least make things good on the surface.. For your soul if nothing else! I also have an older sister whom i had never met.. She is his 1st daughter.. We have just found out that she is HIV positive.. It has sadly brought me and my father closer together.. She has not yet shared this with me despite my email attempts.. Its nice to have my father through all of this, odd as it is..
380886
Four years ago I was in the same circumstance as you are now, The truth eventually came out that I did not mess around with my stepson's. I was facing ten years in prison on two counts of sexual abuse against a child. Today I live my life still scarred of all that has happened to me and my family in the last years. You have to have FAITH in God that all this will come to pass soon. Sit down and pray for what is going on in your life at this time. The truth will eventually come out!
321736
How do you know he is 25?  That is just a little old for you don't you think?  How can you be in love with someone when you have never met him?  You know he could be a 50 year old fat pervert.  Don't ever trust someones identity on the Internet!  I wish I had your phone number so I could call your parents.  Do you have any idea how many young girl's are raped and murdered by men they have met on the Internet and then meet in person?  I'm sorry, but I fear for your safety and I hope you never try to meet this person or tell him where you live.
1081516
You did something you thought would help, unfortunately you got screwed over in return.\n\nNot much you can do, if he continues to say that you've done this then you'll have to find some way to prove that you didn't. \n\nEither way if he lays charges you're branded a sex offender. See a lawyer first, maybe talk to his grandmother, find out if he has any..............um...............other issues going on about why he would lie (I'm assuming your innocence). The fact that he is 18 does play in your favour, he is an adult and as such has the right to make his own decisions whether or not others think they are the right ones.\n\nIt's a hard one, I don;t want to tell you never help another, because then where would you be, but you have to think a little harder now about whom you decide to help.\n\nBest thing to do if this situation comes up again is have the names and phone numbers of a few shelters on hand.\n\na plus is that when the cops came they didn't arrest you they just told you to tell him to go home.\n\nBetter off not to have anything more to do with this kid either.\n\nHope it workls out for you.
705190
Listen to what he has to say and sypathise.   He is not as bad as he seems or how the rumors make him out to be.  How would you feel if people tried to wrongfully smear your name and were after your money, using your weekness aginst you?  Money is not happiness, but it is all that he has, since his father destroyed his psychological development.   He is just trying to get back what he was denied during his childhood.\nI am not as messed up as Michael, but I understand what it means to have a father never believe anything you say, yell at you all the time, and dismiss you as if you are nothing important but in the way and an inconvenience.  My father wasn't always mean, bit he was most of the time and it has made me always wanting his, and other people's, approval.
563328
How old is your brother?  He's doing what he was trained to do by your dad.  The whole trick to all of this is you remembering it, and not doing it to your kids when you begin your life.  Your mother tells you that you was sexually abused but you don't know it?  You need to get out, far away and just start fresh somewhere's and forget all this, you are in a messed up situation.  As for my brother yelling at me, yell back, what's he going to do that you can't do right back?  He's not your dad and he's not your boss is he?  Wish you a ton of luck and happiness in the future.
67289
Really need a little more information. If looking is all he is doing, then that alone is not sexual abuse. Drinking at the age of 15 is a problem and can also be taken care of in the manner I am fixing to give you. But first lets go back to sexual abuse. If he is in fact sexually abuseing you, you may do one of two things. First tell your parents if you think they will help. Second, if they decide to help then all of you go to the agency I will give in a moment. If your parents don't help then you alone go to the agency or call, and explain your situation more fully and gave will give you the answer you need. The agency's name  is called DYS, Its real name is Department of youth services, listed in the phone book under state agencys. Should be one located right in the County where you live. Good luck and don't play around with this.
658581
i dont think its your problem man. i know he's your kid and you're concerned for him, but if he's 30 and cant get his crap straight, i dont know what you can really do for him. he's going to need to be willing to start at the bottom. like, rock bottom, working at wendy's or something. but, thats better than going back to jail.
1103677
I wasn't going to answer this one until I read Kaka's response.\n\nKaka;  you don't know what you are talking about.  Almost all children who get molested are little girls who get molested by a step father, uncle, or older cousin.  If you really understood who is doing the molesting in our society, you would rethink your opinion...  but understanding is probably not your strongest attribute.
186847
My father molested me for years...As an adult I spent a year trying to plan out a way to hurt him..to get revenge. When I finally had a plan and was ready to put it into action, I found out that he had died a year before...right around the time I started to plan this thing...It was like the godess telling me that karma is NOT in my hands at all and that it was arrogant for me to ever think it was.
103410
Once again, I know you're not going to want to hear this...but I say NO.  There is a reason your parents don't love him - he's too old for you.  Age does not become as much of a factor when you're older (read:  above 18), but right now, it's just plain illegal.  Some states have an age of consent (usually 16 or 17) but if your parents want to, they can press charges against him if it goes beyond anything friendly.  \n\nNow, I also know this won't get me a best answer, but that matters not and I will tell you anyway - I've been in a similar situation.  I was 14 and very much "in love" (I doubt that you really do love him, after all, how long have you known this older, very nice, very HOT! guy?) with a 19 year old.  When my father found out about him, he pressed charges to the full extent of the law.  To make a long story short, my sailor boyfriend (he was in the Navy) ended up paying a huge fine, got Dishonorably discharged and did some jail time.  I don't know if he had to register on a sex offender list as this was 11 years ago.  That makes me 25 (almost 26) now.\n\nI have to ask you, what on earth would a 22 (almost 23) year old want with a 16 year old?  You say he's very nice - I hate to tell you, but it's probably an act.  The only reason an older guy would be interested in a teenager (yes, you still are a teen, even if you are blossoming into a woman...you're still a minor) would be to get into her pants.  The other reason is that you might still be a virgin (I hope so - don't go rushing into that) and well, a lot of guys like that.  I doubt there's a lot that you have in common, due to the age gap.  \n\nIf he really does care for you, he will wait until you're 18.  You won't even be able to drink until he's 27 or 28!  Is he gonna want to wait that long before you can enjoy a night on the town?  Believe it or not, I know a guy who was arrested for having a drink at home with his wife, who was at the time 20...she was still underage.  \n\nHow did you meet this guy?  It is kind of bizarre for there to be such an age difference...is he a family friend?  A friend's older brother?  Please don't tell me you have met him online.  Teens and twentysomethings travel in different social circles.  There might be another reason your parents don't like him (aside from the obvious) that you don't know about.  How do you know he's never been in serious trouble?  Have you done a background check on this guy?  He might have spent a night in jail for whatever reason, have outstanding debts etc that he is hiding from you.  \n\nYou shouldn't go behind your parents' backs - you will lose their respect and obviously you have no respect for them either.  Perhaps have him come over and have a discussion between the 6 of you (make his parents come also) over dinner.  Perhaps you two can stay in contact (as FRIENDS only) for a couple of years, then explore a relationship.  Keep in mind then, he's gonna be almost 25...What do HIS parents think about it?  Granted, he's an adult (whereas you are not, even though you might think you are) and his parents really don't have a say in what he does, but it would be good to get their opinion also.  They'll probably say the same thing everyone else is.  \n\nAlso, if your parents decide that you can date him by going with what STRANGERS online decide, then they have some serious thinking to do about their choices.  No matter who says yes (age is just a number I've seen posted a few times here), it is still ILLEGAL and I can't believe they would actually consider it.\n\nI'm sorry that I wasn't a help to you, but you should know how it really is.  Any adult (especially judges) will look at this and say it's a classic example of "guy wanting to get into a young girl's pants" and then lock him away.  Wait the 2 years.  Hell, you might even hate him when you start to
296911
I am amazed that even though a sex offender pleaded down that they still do not have to register as a sex offender.  Any thing that is public record is not slander.  If he was arrested and it was in the paper then you can let people know.  Was the original offense against a child?  There are different classifications of sex offenders as well. Every state has their own laws.  There are federal laws in place for sex offenders as well. You can also go to Oprah's website they is alot of information on sex offenders there.  Recently on her show she has been pushing for stiffer penalties for sex offenders. That might be a good jumping board for you.
115262
First of all, he is a grown up and you, even though you don't want to be, are still considered a child.  If he is doing what you are describing, it is illegal.  It has a variety of names, including sexual harassment, sexual abuse, child abuse, soliciting, corrupting the morals of a minor, abuse of power, etc.\n\nYou write as if you are a fairly intelligent girl, so you already know this is not right.  You have to tell someone, preferably your parents.  If that is not your best option, tell a counselor, a social worker, the principal, or the police, or maybe even all of those.  Know that things might get messy when everyone begins to find out what has been happening, but if he is doing this to you, he is probably also doing it to others.  So I suspect a number of people may already know, but like you, so far they are not doing anything about it.\n\nWhy do you have to tell?  You have to tell to stop it from happening to you and also to stop it from happening to others in the future.  You have to tell because it is the right thing to do.  You have to tell because if you don't, this will get worse, not better.  Do you have a younger sister or do you know younger girls?  Do you want it to happen to them?\n\nSome may say you brought this on yourself becsause of the clothes you wear, and while that may be partly correct, it still doesn't make it ok for him to do what he is doing.  He is supposed to know better, and is supposed to be mature and able to handle the sometimes not so smart things teenagers can do.\n\nNow girl, get some respect for yourself.  You say you don't mind some of the things he does.  YOU SHOULD MIND THE THINGS HE DOES.  HE IS TAKING ADVANTAGE OF YOU AND USING YOU.  The things he is doing should happen only between people who are equals and who both agree to them.  Whether you agree to them or not, you and he are not equals.  Whether you enjoy the feelings of some of them or not, it is still not right for him to do it.  He is in a position of power and authority over you.  He is doing something that could and should land him in jail.\n\nGet to someone as fast as you can and tell and stop this from happening.
134482
You are foolish, acting needy, revealing too much and vulnerable to dangerous sexual predators that know a whole lot more about manipulating young girls and boys than you do.\n1) Don't ever reveal personal information online (don't lie, just don't answer);\n2) Share EVERYTHING with your parents. If your online friend wants you to hide it, they want you to hide something THEY are doing wrong.  Remember, legally, your parents are still responsible for you.  Don't drag them into something without their permission. Divorce your parents before you do that.\n3) For every person who claims they are a cute guy/girl online, 90% of them aren't.  Online is the very WORST way to find someone near your age who actually looks good.  It's like fishing in a mud pond in a foreign country where you don't know what lives in the lake.  It's kind of dumb.\n4) I'm not interested, nor would I interest you.  Be safe, please. We'd like to see you reach adulthood.
616168
Don't listen to constestame. Don't stay quiet about it. When I was seventeen my step dad did some pretty bad things to me. He wanted me to stay silent but I didn't. My mom chose my step dad over me and I lost the whole side of my mother's family. I loved my family so much and it tore me apart to lose them, but I'm glad that I stood up for myself rather than staying quiet. It cost me my whole family, but at least I don't have to live with the sleazy pedophile. Some people are just Fu*ked up and it has to do with power. It makes them feel bigger, but you've got to stand up for yourself. It will make you stronger. If your family doesn't stand by you, then good riddance. You will always have someone there for you as long as you have a good heart. Friends become family. You can pick your friends, but you can't pick your family. I don't know how long ago this happened, but I hope you have already reported her. Make your family aware that she has taken advantage of you.
415317
I think everyone has things from youth that affects us throughout our lives. I was sexually molested by a family member and it has affected me my whole life.It is really hard to overcome these events but it can be done. Best of luck to you