Help! controlling, smothering relationship?
412186
Apparently talking and being nice and putting up with him, doesnt work. Maybe you should get the police to ask him to leave. Or you could throw his stuff out, not sure if you could get a restraining order- if you can go for it! It's quite evident that he's brining you nothing but hurt. Make a stand now for you and your kids.\nThe sooner he is out, the better you will be able to get on with your life. Once that's done, for GOD's SAKE, DONT LOOK BACK!
119999
I cannot stress to you enough...GET OUT OF THIS RELATIONSHIP!!  I also, am a single mother of 2 beautiful girls.  I dated a guy for three years, on and off.  He was great with the girls, but very controlling with me.  At first it was little things, saying hurtful remarks, then it escalated and got worse and worse.  Finally, it developed to physical abuse along with the emotional and verbal.  Please get out of this relationship.  It may seem impossible right now, but trust me, you can do it.  He knows you are intimidated by him, this is what drives him to control.
230875
Sounds to me like you are trying to talk yourself into staying- talking yourself into the idea period.  It doesn't have to be a horrible relationship or an abusive guy to make it just "not feel there". Do what's in your heart.
75907
Since you didn't post this in the marriage section I will assume you aren't married and no children are involved. \n\nFirst, ask yourself if the changes you have asked him to make are reasonable.  If whatever he is doing is really not acceptable to you and you know you can't live with it, get out.  It may be hard at first but is better than continuing a relationship with someone you know you really can't stand.  On the other hand, make sure that you aren't expecting him to be perfect.  People just aren't, and if it's trivial things that are aggravating but not incredibly so...just deal with it.  \n\nIf you told him you'd leave and you continue putting up with him- you have not followed through and he'll never believe you.  Be sure you are really ready to leave and be without him, because (gut feeling) I think you're hoping you'll leave and he will be crawling back- changed for good!  That isn't going to happen.\n\n*********************************************\nAnyone trying to control where you go & who you see is not what you want to get mixed up in! Now I have a clearer picture of what you are trying to change, and it isn't socks left on the floor.  Stay with mom.
297971
If he is telling you what to do, That is controlling. If he cared about you, he would maybe give his opinion but leave the options open for you to decide. You want someone you can decide to gether things with. Not someone telling you how to think or feel or who your friends are. And who you can and cannot be friends with. If he is that way get rid of him, it only gets worse.
422284
I really hate to break this to you but its not good.  He sounds very controlling.  My recommendation is that you both go through pre-marital counceling or split up.  If he is doing this, this early on, he is sending you very strong clues as to what he will be like once the papers are signed.  Please, postpone the wedding if its set or stop the engagement.  He has to want to change.  You cant make him do so.  At the same token, you dont deserve to be belittled at all by ANY person.  That is called verbal and emotional abuse.  And, when there is abuse of any kind this early on, it tends to escalate later.  You are not his property.  He can not tell you what to do.  I know this will be so hard for you because its obvious that you still love him but you have to believe me on this one.  I was married to 2 men that did very similar things to what you just discribed.  It dam near ruined me.  \n\nPack your stuff if you are living together and leave.  Tell him you will return once he has gotten counceling and not before that.  Dont take his appologies because abusers will appologize, be good for a SHORT time, then do it all over again and each time will be worse.  I speak from experience.  And I pray for your sanity right now.  I really hope you do the right thing.  This time, listen to your head and not your heart.
81816
IF THE PERSON IN QUESTION IS CONTROLLING YOU IN SOME ASPECT'S, THEN YOU NEED TO LEAVE THAT PERSON BECAUSE THE PERSON'S GOING TO WIND UP HITTING YOUR OR POSSIBLY WORSE.\n\nIF YOU'RE STAYING JUST FOR THE KID'S, THEN GOTO  AN AGENCY THAT WILL HELP YOU AND THE OTHER PERSON WITH THE PROBLEM'S THAT YOU BOTH ARE HAVING DUE TO THIS NATURE!\n\nTRY TO GET THEM TO GOTO COUNSELLING, MAYBE, THAT'LL HELP FOR YOUR RELATIONSHIP TO GET BETTER AND BLSSOM.
733740
Kayla.....LIVE>>>>Rock out and enjoy yourself. Tell this dude things are done and over with. He is controlling. Do your own thing. Do what you do and have fun. Dont worry about your friends...they will be there.
524345
trying to be controlling...\ndon't let him...\nmy boyfriend tried that too.....but he didn't get his way...
1157908
tell him he shouldn't try controlling you, because if he does, it'll push you farther away from him. there is no reason why anyone should be allowed to control another person.
906932
Interesting.  I just broke up with my stubborn boyfriend who also is very mean when he drinks.  Although he is one stubborn guy, he acknowleged that he was a person he didn't want to be when he drinks.  He made a big effort to cut back, at least around me, and it did help.  I think it says a lot about your relationship if he isn't willing to at least TRY to cut back.  It's not like you are asking him to stop having a good time, if he's mean, that is just not okay and it shouldn't be accepted.  I'd suggest talking to a couples counselor.
85825
Allow him to disagree but do not faulter in your choice. Accuse him of distrust. Do not allow him to use subcurrent tacticle manipultion to convince you of being wrong and maintain an over view of your chioce. Be strong
952995
Really your not fighting, your probably just bickering. Its like adult going pains especially if you just moved in together. My fiance and I were the same way. I even gave my ring back!!! but we went to a communication specialist (couples therapist) and learned some tricks to communicating. I know its hard and you start thinking that things won't work out, but if you are truly meant to be, you'll be OK.  We had all the same issues you mentioned.Try this, sit and talk it out, if one of you is a blabber use a 5 min timer so you don't get off track of the topic at hand. Don't allow yourselves to deviate off topic nothing gets solved that way. Each of you should list your gripes with each other and go through the list,pick a time where you can really talk( no TV, no phones).  It will take a few tries before you can get through it with out yelling. No name calling and no blameing, start sentences like "going foward  blah blah blah"Cleaning? write up all the chores that need to get done and you together, divvy them up, then once chores are committed to on paper, its a non issue. The hard thing is  understanding that you don't get everything you want anymore it's all about 50/50( which sucks sometimes, but that's life) And there is no shame in meeting with somebody once a week if that's what you guys need, its not easy, it's one of the most stressful times in  your life. In some cases your insurance will cover it under adult therapy or under the the wide range of depression (even though its not,they just bill it that way and its legit because the situation makes you sad and stressed, don't feel labeled as depressed). Best of luck to you both
356939
Get away from him. \nNow. These are giant red flags that he is not a stable person. \ndont let him guilt you into staying with him, he's counting on that.\n\nRun far far away
460078
so like, he will nick you and put a band aid on it? say hurtful things and apologize, he did not mean it? i think its abusive, its a mind game, and its all about control. i think you need to just get out and let this person/relationship go. find someone who DOESNT make you cry in the first place.
861314
Get to the basics. Let go the ego and the false pride. Accept mistakes and compromise.\nLive happily everafter.
951483
get out as soon as you can. HE WILL NOT CHANGE., even if he says he will. i know nobodys advice will chnage what your mid is set on, but if you plan on staying in this relationship, it is your fear of him talking, not your love. get away from him and stick to your story about the slap. anything to stay away from him...