My girlfriend is in a middle of a divorce and she told me tat we cannot see eachohter for fear of her ex spyin
406275
You should stay out of their marital problems until their divorce is final. She probably wants to distance herself from you because she has conflicting feelings. If your love were more selfless and less selfish, you might see this.
700607
Good job sweetie! If she had nothing to hide in the first place she would have told you about it, or not lie when you confronted her with it. If she didn't tell you because you would have gotten upset, then she should have not been doing it. Maybe you we her only one (meaning the only one to get her legal)for right now until she became a citizen.... then divorced you for the other man she lied about! I'm not saying that all men she talked to could have been potentially dating her, but be aware of her motives.. There are alot of things that I could get away with because my other half does not check up on me.... but why do it??? To betray him, loose his trust, or even potentially break his heart?? NOT WORTH IT!
767477
There is definitely trouble brewing.  She obviously still has something for him, since she sought him out on MySpace and is actively chatting.  Never trust a partner who still talks to their ex!
668981
First untangle the mess you've got your life into, how you do that is up to you but if you keep going on like this you'll soon get ulsers, Second, make it clear that the rules he applys to you and to his ex are the same all the way around. By that I mean if he can see and talk to his ex without you then you're allowed to as well. Third and most important, If his ex is so caring of his emotions and he values her opinion that much then why are they apart. Let him know that you understand he has to maintain a relationship with his ex for his daughters sake but you are his woman now and his job is to stick up for you when you can't do it for yourself. (Meaning he needs to tell his ex that if she cant say anything nice about you to him then he needs to tell her to keep her opinion's to herself or had better start defending you to her. He's a big boy and should be able to handel his emotions on his own, if not then he dosent need to be dating.)
709223
You must let them both go. A friend had this happen to her also and they got together got married had two kids and now they are in divorce court. She never got over the fact that her g/f did this to her, but now she sees that she mulled way too long over this. I would not be friends with her anymore as you may never be able to trust her.
1087316
Been there. You didn't say how the ex feels about you. Why does she deny him seeing his child? Because I do not know if my answer will help if you don't have the same life I had. The ex hated me and didn't mind telling everyone she knew. She thought I was the root of their separation. I didn't even know my now husband at the time they 1st broke up. I had been going with him for about 5 months when I found out that he wasn't DIVORCED! So for that reason she used us being together as what was wrong with their relationship. She told everyone that Mike drank all the time and that she didn't trust him being alone with his son. When really it was a way to punch him for leaving her. The reason for not getting a divorce right away, he didn't want them to cancell their medical insurance. Dumb then...we played her game for many months. Then I started checking things out. He could get the divorce, keep insurance on his kid, pay child support (a must) and the court would let him have his son every other weekend. If she didn't produce the child..She could go to jail. So Check it out where you leave. Your man may want to make the divorce legal...Now to the other part of your question..Why does she have to be there..Just to piss you off more than likely. She will dress up and look great. As if to say..see what you are missing. Have him get a divorce..then the ball is back in your court. Only never be late on one child support payment..or you guess it..she would have him in jail..Again just to piss you off. Don't let her get you down. But, make him make a choice and get a divorce..or get the hell out now why you can.
256282
If you don't trust her things aren't going to get any better between the two of you.  My ex lied to me about something HUGE and when he was caught he apologized and I took him back but I NEVER trusted him again and it led to me breaking up with him again.  You deserve to be with someone that you can trust and that respects you.  The best thing that you can do is end this now and stop dragging it out.  The longer that you drag this out the harder that it is going to be on both of you.
222811
We all make mistakes because we are human, so why is this a reason to fear her? We should never have to fear the one we love. Marriage can be tough enough without bringing the fear factor into it. I would suggest sitting and talking with her about what she expects out of the marriage...K
352889
Her not wanting to tell her daughters' father about you is a clear indication that she is trying to protect her relationship with him. It is possible that she may not be ready yet to diclose her affair because she is still concerned about him and of course, the children. it is quite hard to rule out what could possibly be stopping her from revealing you to him; it is also a possibility that she herself is not yet sure about her relationship with you, too. I know that it is also difficult on your part but are you really serious about her also?...And if ever he finds out about you, would you be prepared for any possbile consequences?... In this scenario, the girl is in the losing end. Either she will totally lose her husband forever or worse, he will fight to gain custody of the kids because of her infidelity. In your case, you are the guy and you won't lose anything. I suggest that you move on with your life and get somebody who is more eligible and not in a compromising situation. Let your present 'girlfriend' lead the kind of life she wants. Maybe, she too, doesn't know what to do with her life. She may be in a lot of confusion and having you in her life may just be a thing that she's only taking for granted. Better to talk things out with her and know what she feels about your relationship. Be transparent and let her know also what you feel. I do hope that you will come up with a decision regarding this. You are in a relationship where you don't have any idea where you stand. You know, parting ways with her might be the best thing you'll do for yourself and for her, too.
445092
You are going to be fine if you and your ex are on good terms.  Don't lose any sleep about it.  Dress nicely and bring a book and a snack because there will be a looooong wait.  But don't be afraid to say something if you feel something isn't quite right or fair.
655153
This must be painful for you and for that I am sorry.  But you have to understand this part of her life has nothing to do with you.  She is having the affair, and if they are already on their way to a divorce, then its to late.  There is no need for you to damage your relationship with her, so calmly ask her to explain why they are getting a divorce.  If she includes the other men, as part of the reason you will not need to say anything else, if she omits him then you can ask, but you must understand that you do not have all the facts and the divorce although painful to you is not about her divorcing you.  Although a person wants a divorce it is usually very painful for them too so now is a time for you to be supportive to both your parents and I hope they are supportive for you also.  It scares me that you say "it is not respectful to me or my father", maybe your father was cheating on her first, it has nothing to do with respecting you.  Think about it. God bless you.
133019
It probably means it is time to move forward.  If she has been seeing her ex often, it means they are working on getting back together.  It will be easy for you to just end it now instead of waiting until she ends it.  Psychological it is always better to end it first.  You have better closure.\n\nBut before doint this, have a heart to heart with her on her feelings.  If you sense that she is interested in getting back with her ex, let her go.  You have been good to her, but she has unresolved issues with her ex.  You will find someone else.
706236
Trust is one of the hardest issues to address in any relationship.  She broke your trust and its going to take a lot of work for that to ever be right again.  I would honestly get into some marriage counseling for this reason alone.
511712
There's not much you can do.  If you tell her, you risk the chance that she'll think you want to get back together.  Are you really sure your not just being paranoid?  Not everyone plans their life around their enemies.  If you really have proof, just go up to her and ask her if the other guy is what she really wants. hope it goes well.
920077
use a common friend to get to your ex-wife. i think it's very noble of you to try to work things out among yourselves. if your ex-wife still refuse to accept the fact that you're actually doing her a favor by resorting to peacefull means, then you have no choice but to do whatever would be necessary for the sake of your child. you need not feel guilty then if the court decides in your favor because you have tried your best to warn her.
706858
It seems like you are still hurting over your first separation. If she wants to separate you might just let her go and take some time to heal. Take as much time as you need to care for yourself before getting involved with someone else. If you are still not over this other separation you may not be ready to commit and it will make your new relationships difficult for you and your partner. If you wait until you are truly ready, I think you will be able to form healthier relationships with others.
613871
If it hurts you that he is talking to his ex, and you have told him this calmly and rationally, and he is still doing it - there is something wrong.  In a healthy relationship, he should understand your insecurity about it and possibly decrease or eliminate contact with her until you feel better about it.  \n\nSeek some sort of couples counseling to \nA. Find out why he would do this\nB. Work out your trust issues from your past relationship.  \n\nIf you don't address these issues now, they certainly won't magically disapper once you are married.  Take the time to solve them now so that you have a clearer plan for your future.  \n\nGood luck to you.  : )