What is your funniest moment in Church or in a Worship Place or similar place?
410708
My dad is a Pastor for three churches in the black hills of south Dakota, he has made many misprints in his 32 years in the ministry! for instance in the bulletin: (from a list of cleaning supplies needed) instead of toilet bowl cleaner he put "bowel cleaner" and (for our college ministry called Hope For The Future) it read "there will be no Hope For The Future after next week" one time instead of saying he may be seated for the next hymn, he said "you may be heated for the next sin" those are just the tip of the ice berg!!!!
805711
sweet. Nice joke for Church
846048
funny =) gave me a giggle!
669394
Hi "One_man_woman",\nOne time, I was walking to the corner market for a loaf of bread when I had to pass by a neighborhood church. I was somewhat acquainted with the structure as it was always mentioned in the newspaper's community section. Known as "The loft," folks would gather there on Thursday evenings for poetry readings.\n\nHowever, this day happened to be a Saturday afternoon and a pair of gentlemen greeted me as I walked by. They invited me inside to sample an hour of their presentation. Ok, I went inside and found myself to be a prospective new recruit for their brand of religion.\n\nMost of the pews were filled with hooded monks chanting a haunting rhythm. There were others who like me, were wearing their regular denims. The service began like most other church-goers would be familiar with. A grand master of ceremonies led the group through some songs and gave a sermon. Near the end of the hour it was time for their ritual of "laying on of the hands." Some of the parishioners would come forward and ask for prayers for their ailments or a sick grand mum whom fell down in the tub. All the hooded dudes whose faces could not readily be seen would all place a hand on the person and their combined energies were presumed to have a strength and expedite a solution to the problem.\n\nOK now, there was another new guy in the pews who was watching eagerly. I noticed he had a shaky-leg syndrome. When he saw a chance, he approached the ring of conspirators and described how he never was able to settle down. The hooded goons closed in upon him, all to make a physical connection. The master of ceremonies began a prayer, a dogmatic mix of logic and pure hocus-pocus. I immediately saw the effects as the tension went out of the man's body. When the beseeching was near an end, the master asked, "Are the brothers ready?"\n\nA suspenseful few moments passed until he almost shouted, "NOW!"\n\nOn that cue, the brothers began to pummel their hapless victim. Continually delivering blows over head and to the solar plexus until he was down on the floor getting stomped. After another minute, the grand Pooh-Bah decided the treatment administered was sufficient to induce a relaxing calm that would assuage the nervousness for a long, long time.\n\nI can't say for certain that the syndrome was lifted permanently as I had a loaf of bread to buy and some other errands to do that day. I hope for you "One_man_woman", that you can find a cure.\n\n-Mark
33620
Rolling On The Floor Laughing My A$$ Off.\n\nHere's some others in the link below...
615268
My brother was sitting behind me at my cousin's funeral. When the minister started to compare my cousin to Jesus saying the if Jesus had a car it would be a Camaro (my cousin's favorite car). My brother was laughing but trying to hold it back, then I started giggling. It was pretty funny even though we all loved and missed my cousin. Besides my cousin had a sense of humor and he probably would have laughed also. \n\nSometimes when people laugh at a funeral, it's because there is so much tension involved with it that it just comes out as a release of the tension.
420832
It makes God giggle with delight.
701992
*laughing* that was hilarious
176309
The most embarrassing thing for me was when I was younger and visiting a church in the area.  It was a strange non-denomiational church that had some really odd beliefs.  I used to smoke back in those days and the pastor was telling his congregation that people should not be afraid to do what they want.  If you feel like jumping up and dancing in church then do it.  Church should be about freedom.  \n\nSo I lit a cigarette and started smoking.  He stopped and told me that there was no smoking in church.  I told him I was just following his lead.  He said that was no what he meant.  I apologized for interrupting his freedom speech and left.  \n\nIt was embarrassing to me now but it was funny then.
245128
Are you nuts?  Never.  Why would I have done that?  How do you play church anyway?
31702
the funniest thing that ever happened to me was i waswearing one of my favorite shirts and i leaned over a light candle screamed like a little sissy girl\ncause it burned a hole in it
298683
Once, I thought I could let out a left cheek sneak and ended up farting louder than I have ever farted in my life. Of course, the sermon stopped and the pastor said something like, "I think the spirit is moving". Lots of laughter and I had a very red face.
1053238
A burglar broke into a house one night. He shined his flashlight around looking for valuables and when he picked up a CD player to place in his sack, a strange disembodied voice echoed from the dark saying "Jesus is watching you."\n\nHe nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off and froze. When he heard nothing more, after a bit he shook his head, promised himself a vacation after the next big score, then clicked the light back on and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell, he heard "Jesus is watching you."\n\nFreaked out he shined his light around frantically looking for the cause of the voice. Finally in the corner of the room his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot.\n\n"Yep" the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I was just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, HUH?" Who are you? "Moses," the parrot replied. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. What kind of stupid people would name a parrot Moses?"\n\nThe parrot promptly answered, "Probably the same kind of people that would name their Rotweiller dog Jesus..."\n\n A lady about 8 months pregnant got on a bus. She noticed the man\nopposite her was smiling at her. She immediately moved to another seat.\nThis time the smile turned into a grin, so she moved again. The man\nseemed more amused.\nWhen on the fourth move, the man burst out laughing, she complained to\nthe driver and he had the man arrested. The case came up in court. The\njudge asked the man (about 20 years old) what he had to say for himself.\nThe man replied, Well your Honour, it was like this: When the lady got\non the bus, I couldn’t help but notice her condition. She sat under a\nsweets sign that said, “The Double Mint Twins are Coming” and I grinned.\nThen she moved and sat under a sign that said, “ Logan’s Liniment will\nreduce the swelling”, and I had to smile. Then she placed herself under\na deodorant sign that said, “William’s Big Stick Did the Trick”, and I\ncould hardly contain myself. BUT, your Honour, when she moved the fourth\ntime and sat under a sign that said, “Goodyear Rubber could have\nprevented this Accident”...I just lost it.\n\n\n\n“ CASE DISMISSED!!”
538764
My stomach growled so loud once in Church that both my wife and son looked at me to see if I was OK... LOL, kind of embarrassing at the time, but a little funny now.
728483
I was at a wedding, where the bridal party were placed on a few ascending steps. This one poor girl, right in the middle of the ceremony, fell off, head over a**, landing with a very loud thud. It took all I had to keep from laughing out loud in front of everyone. When the ceremony was over, and we left, I laughed till I cried.
847641
Insert *something funny*
147831
LMAO.  You have great humor.  Here's one for you.  It isn't about a pastor but one is mentioned.  The kids in the story are the main characters.  But they are not the only ones who are "always blamed".  It happens to many of those who have been awarded "legend" status by others.  It's all so amusing ;) .\n\nTwo little kids, ages 8 and 10, were excessively mischievous and full of laughter. This sometimes annoyed others and it seemed they were always getting into trouble, whether they were to blame or not.  Everyone believed that, if any mischief occurred in their town, those two were probably involved.\n\nThe mother of the children heard about one pastor in town who had been successful in disciplining children, so she asked if he would speak with her kids. The pastor agreed but said he wanted to see the children individually. The very next morning the mother sent her two children to see the pastor.  She told the 8-year old to go in first when they got there.\n\nThe pastor, a huge man with a very deep booming voice, told the younger child to sit down and then asked sternly, "Where is God?".\n\nThe kid's  mouth dropped open and she made no response; she just sat there with her mouth hanging open, wide-eyed. The pastor repeated the question in an even sterner tone, "Where is God!!?" Again the child made no attempt to answer.  Finally, the pastor raised his voice even more and shook his finger in the child's face and bellowed, "WHERE IS GOD!?"\n\nThe child screamed and ran from the room; she ran directly home and dove into her closet, slamming the door behind her. When her silbing found her in the closet, he asked, "What happened?"\n\nThe younger child, gasping for breath, replied, "We are in BIG trouble this time, dude. God is missing - and they think WE did it!"