there are alot of dead silences between my boyfriend and i. how do i get rid of them?
409189
Silence is powerful is a communication too, its important to find a way to interpret silence.\n\n   One way to start talking about something is to talk about nothing, that is, everything that is natural and espontaneous in the relation, another topic is that, why there is silence and how relevant or important is for building a better relation.
411647
Well, have you tried involving gun fire? Seriously though a communication gap can put a serious damper on your relationship. Find out why he isn't open with you. Most likely he fears that you will be either disappointed or disinterested so he tries to keep it away from you. Good luck with your problem.
1123
I'm generally a quiet person, and I was very quiet around my now-girlfriend when I first met her. I think that likely drove her crazy... because she couldn't tell how I felt about her. After we hooked up and started seeing each other more often, my feelings just came through. I couldn't hold them to myself. There was a need to share them with her that I just couldn't imagine keeping inside.\n\nBut that's me - and not everyone is the same. Some people are emotionally sheltered and prefer to keep their feelings hidden away. Body language, gestures, and general mood and disposition toward you can give you clues as to how your significant other really feels. The question you need to ask, when you're finding yourself actively looking for attention like this, is whether or not you can be happy in the long term under these circumstances.\n\nPeople are tough to change, and if this is something you need, and your significant other is having a hard time dealing with that... you may need to re-evaluate your situation, or have a long and frank discussion with them regarding this.
1172
Don't take any decisions before knowing his point of view about keeping silent ... so slow down with ur thinking and wait
750689
God bless you for trying to be a better girlfriend... Men aren't very open individuals if you haven't noticed..We keep things bottled up instinctively to suppress emotions, by that l mean we will ease out of a bad situation for a bit chew on it let it go and be done with it.. We are pretty shallow creatures who in most scenarios don't look for closure.. Women on the other hand find it necessary, in most cases, to bring an end to the problem and have closure to ensure the stability of the relationship.. This truly is a situation that you must sit down with him and discuss at length so you will know quite positively where he stands.. This may or may not be healthy for a relationship but it's pretty much the norm for male behavior.. Are you worried about the longevity of the relationship, or do you wonder when the two of you fight that it might be the last time??? If so, it's very important that you talk to him about this and get his reassurance before you drive yourself crazy worrying, which will cause more static in your relationship.... Good luck!!!!
358649
That doesnt sound like a healthy relationship.\nSome people think if they do not talk about their feelings that they will just go away. Truth is communication is one of the key parts of a relationship and that talking about your feelings makes things better not worse. \nThat if you ignore your feelings they just grow inside you and become stronger and worse feelings.\nYou two need to figure out a healthy way of communicating. You need to learn how to talk to each other about tough feelings in a positive way.\nIf not like you said you guys will just grow apart until one of you ends it completely. \nA relationship is nothing without communication
662241
u need to talk things over. communication is one of the keys to a healthy relationship. You both need to listen to each other's opinions and thoughts. Why not try spendin time alone w/ yourself first.Collect your thoughts and asses yourself.Try to see things in an optimistic way.Do not let insecurities overcome you.I'm sure he likes you.Sometimes,there are just things that don't go the way we want them to.
410568
I'm 26 and in a long distance relationship as well.  We live 2.5 hours away from each other and I always return her phone calls.  It pisses me off if other people don't return mine, so I always return theirs.  Point to remember, guys don't like to talk on the phone.  I have trouble talking on the phone for more than five minutes.  I love her, but it seems like more of a job than a pleasure.  I can talk your ear off in person, but not on the phone.  Sounds like your boyfriend is forgetful or too busy.
975207
Perhaps you haven't been out with him for long so he's not used to you quite yet.  If this is the case, arrange to do various activities together which you both enjoy whether it be watching movies, clubbing or sports.  Your bonds will strengthen over time and he will become less and less shy in front of you. \n\nIf you're concerned about your bf being shy in public, then talk to him about it.  Tell him how much it means to you to see him shake off that shyness.  That'll be an incentive for him to jump out of his shell, esp' if he cares about you.  However, don't try too hard to change him. One of the most fustrating thing men find with their partners is when they try too hard to change them.
691606
hey relax and dont try do sucide, thats not the way to end ur problems. Where as your partner is concerned you can talk to him about not talking about your past. If he really loves and cares for you, he'll understand. And if even then he doesn't stop then yes leave him. And dont worry no one is alone in this world, Keep faith in God, he'll help you out. As the saying goes "for every door closed another door opens". There are whole lot of people in the world, and many would also be facing the problem which you are, but that doesn't mean they'll sucide. And friendship is something which u can build very easily. So go out in the free world make frnds, be happy, dont look at your past. and Enjoy.\nFor that matter lets be friends?? whts say??
842227
Two words for you. Be YOURSELF. I totally understand how you feel when you say you're frantic because you're trying to keep someone interested, and I had the same problem. But, I've learned that when you feel something, or you want to say something, just do it...Once you break that barrier, it's smooth sailing. People are comfortable when they can just be themselves and when they can see that the other person is also being themself. Getting to know someone is more fulfilling when you "Just do it". A good way to strike up an interesting conversation is by asking her about herself. When you ask questions and she answers them, you can spot out things you both have in common. This is when the conversation gets more interesting and easy going. People need feedback from the 2nd party in order to keep productive conversation. Smothering your significant other would only make her want to go outside for fresh air. In other words, she'd eventually get tired of being smothered and if she doesn't tell you so, she doesn't want to hurt your feelings. She'll become distant and eventually, everything heads downhill. Tell her how you feel, and try not to overwhelm her physically with the smothering. She'll appreciate the fact that you can openly discuss your feelings with her because most guys are kinda personal about their emotions. Be open-minded.
438109
Conversation with your bf should come naturally. You can't really ask complete strangers what to talk about. No one can solve awkward silences but you, and if you can't solve 'em, maybe it's best to leave it be.
476256
Don't really make it too complicated for the both of you. You have to communicate with each other and express how you really feel about one another and If you can't communicate with him then just presume that action speaks louder than words and that if he still continues to ignore you and you can't take it anymore then move on. If you find no reason to stay in the relationship you somewhat both have then don't. That's all.
1088732
dont worry ... u can get rid of all these just be ignorin them...and its good u have not spoken to him....don't talk to him in future as well cos uptill now ( when u have not talked ) he has spread wrong rumours then think wat will happen if u talk to him...\n\nso just ignore such nonsense....dont go for looks go for inner beauty.
134763
Try talking first; give them the benefit of the doubt that they don't know they're bothering you.  I always say something vaguely guilt-inducing like "I'm sure you would never intend to be loud, but these buildings are really old and the walls are thin, and I can hear a lot."
1092659
Are you trying to talk and he is not interested?  Is it a comfortable silence where you are just content to be together and possibly know each others thoughts?  Do you want to break up, but are waiting for him to make the move or do you want to stay together and are worried he already left so you are afraid to put yourself out on a limb and reach out to him - maybe this is what he is waiting for?  Is there other demands on his or your time that limit the time to talk?\nIt may be a sign of breaking up, a sign that more effort is required, or that you are comfortable enough not to have to talk all the time.  I am sure these are the things you are already thinking, but only you and he can decide if it is over or if you want it to be over as we don't know the personality quirks of either of you.  If the communication is so bad that you cannot ask him then I guess it is over or never was.
963037
well I use to be exactly like you. I never knew what to talk about with my boyfriend on the phone. But make sure you don't have dead silence cause that just makes it awkward. but ask him how his day went and whats new in his life or some topic in general