What do you do when your husband won't keep a job? He's worked 6 mo. in 2 yrs. 4 different jobs.?
412976
dang, thats hard, really hard on the family as well.\nhe needs to find out what the problem keeping the jobs are. if its him he needs to make a better effort, if its the jobs ..... he needs to suck it up and take care of you and your kids. i hate to use the term "dead beat" but omg if thats it ........ lay down the law or move on.
135371
Depends on what type of job you are in and what the cicumstances are. Is it for medical reasons that he is missing or because he just doesn't want to work? You have to be careful if its medical because he can claim FMLA and he can take the time. But if its because he just doesn't want to work excessive absenteeism can be grounds for dismissal. Tell him that his missing affects work and let him know that it will be reviewed in a month. Have him sign acknowledging that he understands. But first off make sure you give him the opportunity to let you know whats going on to make sure its not medical.
622239
I think you need to find another job.  He took advantage of you, and he is a user.  You need to move on and not think about him anymore.  He isn't available to you no matter what he says about him and his wife.  He hasn't left her and he isn't going to, that's what people like that do.
1105966
Get your hubby to help out more.  If he won't, then go on strike.  How old are your kids?  If they're old enough, they should have chores.  No one should have to work more than others in a family.
727222
well -- how about i tell you what i do and maybe you'll get some ideas.... i'm a nurse that had a baby and wanted to stay home with him instead of putting him in daycare. my husband didn't want the loss of my paycheck and gave me a lot of grief about going back to work but ALSO expected me to do all the "real" parenting, house cleaning, cooking, etc. i told him if i went back to work that he would have to split everything 50/50 and he agreed. i told him the very first day he didn't do one of "his" new split duties i would quit my job on the spot.... as in if it's his turn to change a diaper and he didn't do it -- i wouldn't go back to work the next day because i'm not going to be walked on like that...if i'm a homemaker, then i'm a homemaker...if i'm a nurse, then that's what i'm going to be and he can hire a housekeeper, cook and nanny. he agreed to split the job duties.....well, a couple of days before i was going to start a new job, i started him out on the split duties....needless to say....i'm now a very happy stay-at-home mom. i keep the house, cook dinner and take care of my son. as far as your concern about him wanting you to answer your phone right away...that's controlling behavior. remind him you're an adult and tell him where he can stick it next time he gets mad. then quit your job.   :)
944403
Tell him to stay put.  \n\nSee if you can get you and the kids on an even keel. See if he can get on an even keel.  \n\nIf he can call, come by, treat you guys with respect, maintain his job, his car and his home, his bank account, and take the kids sometimes to give you a break, then you might have something.  \n\nPay attention to his decision making skills.  Can the man make a decision and stick with it or is he all over the board?  \n\nDate for awhile.    DON'T let him sleep over at your house, unless you want your kids totally confused.  Give yourself enough space to objectively evaluate his behaviors.  Then decide if this is a healthy, loving, family relationship for everyone involved.
671743
I feel you. I think he could have try harder if he wanted to. I know the excuse "i forgot" or I was going to do it relax" and you didnt see shit done. If it is going to be like that I feel you should move out and take a break let him know you are not happy at all and you are under a lot of stress. What will he do without you. He needs to appreciate the things you do as a mother and wife. You need a man not another child you have to take care of. You must feel really lonely and yearning for a man.Take a break and try to relax, go out with friends and take a deep breathe.Try not to overthink yourself cause you will go crazy. I know you have bills to pay but figure out how to get out of this rotation with him cause after awhile it gets pretty tiring. I hope nothing but the best for you and take it one step at a time.
964594
when my dad got layed off my mom took it real hard.  there was two of us in college and a third just married.  She became so sad.  My dad was sad.  Then my mom worked a second job.  she enjoyed both jobs and still does the second one part time.\n\nok,  I thought that there would be trouble,  but it made them stronger and closer.  I think that in a way that it was a test to see what would happen..&#92;\n\nI think that in a time of stress it shows a couples inter-twinded life and that draws them closer so that ones problem because the others and they both work to getherer.\n\nIf he is seeing the worse side of you, he is lucky.  He is standing beside you and helping you.  Reach out for his support, next time he will be in need of support.  that is part of being a couple.\n\nWorse things that happen in a life on a stress scale, I looked them up two years ago when my dad had problems.  \n\n1or 2\n loss of job\ndeath of a spouse\n\n3 or 4\nloss of close family\nmoving\n\n5 or 6\na baby\nhospitalization\n\nI hope this helps, you are independant, but that does not mean that a sometime you need alittle support.  Ask him how he feels.  there is so much down sizing in companies that there is no such thing as a loyal life long employee.  You will get a new job, just smile with him and let him help you smile.
153869
I am a parent but I only have six years experience.  Still, you need to kick his little a** out.  I know he is your kid, but dang.  He is taking you for granted, you need to teach him how to take care of himself.  What is he going to do when you aren't there?
1093569
I'm guessing maybe there are other things upsetting him... like too many other things in life are not going his way...  Perhaps his mind is so heavily fixed on these other situations that he has no time for any more -- that may be any thing (any thing!) you do or say.  If he needs time to think about situations, his mind may not be able to tolerate one more "any thing" that he has to respond to -- whether it is "Is it raining outside?" or "How are we going to pay the light bill?"  All he can do is "snap" or appear annoyed at you, because that somehow (he thinks) gives him more time to ponder his situations -- he "needs to" get back to worrying.  It could be things he over heard at work (like "sales are down") and he's worried about future lay-offs.  It could be the cost of living is going up and his pay isn't.  It could others (seemingly) out to get his job.  It may be unbearable "office politics".  \n\nI may be way off base.  But you (in my opinion) need to find a time when you can talk to him.  Find out what the other things are that might be aggravating him.  Talk things out -- and don't cry!  Be encouraging and support -- if those situations call for it.  \n\nIf a person is not feeling well, too, he/she might snap at the slightest things.  Even if he is just tired, he may snap.  Eat right, exercise, rest.... both of you.  \n\nYou didn't mention your/his age.  Could it be a "middle aged crisis"?  That, you should talk to him or others about who may have experienced the same thing.  But my best advice is to talk to him.  Couples need to be able to talk about ANY situation if they want their marriages to work.  Good communications is key -- open and honest communications.\n\nGood luck.
833443
Sometimes people do get stuck.  But in the same breath some just get comortable.  Through personal experience I have found that the more you enable a man to be lazy, shiftless, and not do much, the less they will do.  If you accept him not helping out he will think that is ok with you.\n\nIt is hard with children, but they should not be made to suffer just because there is a grown child in the home who doesnt want to work and help out.  It is financially a bad idea for you to allow him to stay at home.\n\nMy fiance went to college and held a full time job just to make sure things at home were taken care of.  I also worked, even throughout my pregnancy.  With three kids, we needed all the money we could.  \n\nI left my ex first for all of the reasons you had listed above.  I no longer wanted to be around such a hateful person who didnt help.  I deserved better- so i left ang got better.\n\nmost people never realize how good they had it until it leaves!
1047221
You have to deal with it. It's his job.  Get a night job if you can. That way you'll be home at the same time. You can't tell him to leave his job for you. Not fair!
1106168
Get a new job, and tell your husband, or find a good lawyer, and sue for sexual harrassment.
940279
I would suggest you go to counseling to see if you can mend your marriage; it might even be better than before.  Losing a job can be devastating for anyone, but it's especially tough for men.  It sounds like your husband fell into a depression and is just now climbing out of it.  The fact that he still wants to try with you and has made some improvement says a lot.\n\nIf the counseling works, then give the marriage an honest try before you decide to throw in the towel.  \n\nDon't stay together because of the kids.  I've seen that happen with disastrous results.  The children wind up seeing their parents live a life of tolerance, not love.\n\nHe's making an effort; with some new communication skills and both of your working at your marriage, you may find that you love him again.
199383
I'd give him an ultimatum, say one month, to change his ways. Tell him if he hasn't found a job in that time, you will leave him. And if he hasn't, do it.
758376
I am married to a man like this.  They live in a dream world.  Because they don't take responsibility for themselves they remain happy-go-lucky kids, which unfortunately gives them a certain charm.\n\nSit down with him.  Show him the bills.  Show him your paycheck.  Tell him you are struggling- which as a single mother I am sure you are.  Ask him for his help.  Then see if he steps up to the plate.\n\nYou don't need to give him any ultimatums.  But in your own mind you might say something like- if he doesn't have a job by the new year- he's out.  Then follow through.  When that time comes remind him of the conversation you had about the bills, of his promises if he made any- and he probably will, and tell him you love him but that you cannot afford another child right now.  You might tell him that if he gets and holds a job for at least 6 months you'll talk to him again.\n\nYou need to think about the example you are setting your children.  If they are girls you don't want them to wind up supporting some guy.  If they are boys you don't want them to think they can find a woman with a big heart and a full wallet.\n\nBe strong.  Be firm.  And tell me how to take my own advice.
56930
Is it an option for him to get a different job? If so, does he want to, or does he like what he's doing?\n\nIf he's happy with his job, it's not fair to ask him to change it. Instead, find ways to make the most of your time together. Meanwhile, find something to keep yourself busy while he's at work. Get a job yourself, get a hobby, or be a volunteer somewhere.\n\nDr. Barb Nefer, http://www.bnlifeskills.com