Should i tell the wife I had an affair with her husband?
397434
Really, cut your ties with this man, he's not a future for you. You continue to see this man and you will continue to get lied to and cheated on too. He doesn't know how to be honest or faithful. To love someone like that isn't really love. Your feelings for this man hon, isn't what you really think it is. I don't know you, but I see that your taking who ever says nice things to you. Shoot, I could feed you with all kinds of nice words, but doesn't mean I really mean it. I wouldn't even give a another second to this man. Let him and her work through their own problems. Take your loss now and bail out sweetie. It's not worth it. Staying on with this guy or telling his wife, what will you gain from it. The satisfaction of telling her. No, wrong! Maybe for a while but later down the road. hhhmmmm Trust in your self and move on. Good luck to you.
593507
I feel it was wrong for her not to tell you and now you feel trapped and lied to but the thing of the matter is ---which boils right down to you can you forgive her for lieing to you and if you are willing to continue to love her because if not then these problems will always exist in your relationship or marriage and I am a strong believer that you should not get married under false pretenses but if she has not shown any other signs of cheating or anything like that then you should give her the opportunity to prove herself to you and if you still want to wait to get married you dont have to rush into this you should want you marriage to be happy and joyous and loving=== dont get married because your families want you to get married because you love her yeah people make mistakes and I was also cheated on so I had to weigh my options of what would be best for me and  my children and I assume that you dont have any children so take your time and you talk to her about it a little more try to put yourself in her shoes try to understand what made her do it and why get a sense of understanding first and then you can make a rational decision on whether to leave or not \n\nhope things work out for you
552851
I would first confront him with it and then tell her I knew about the affair just to see what she would have to say about it. Trust is an important part of a marriage so if you don't have that you need to think about what you want out of life...............
704309
HECK YEAH!\nnah i would just go up to my father & tell him to tell my mom cuz i wouldn`t wanna hide that from my mom & then if he doesn`t tell i would tell her but that would make things BAD between my father & i. but he was the one who had the affair.\nso i would : \ngive him time & if he doesn`t tell then i WOULD tell.
240952
If it were me (which it's not) I would keep my mouth shut.  But you just have to think about what you would do if you were in her shoes.  Would you want someone to tell you or what?  Women generally have a "gut feeling" when their man has been cheating, so it's possible that she already knows and just doesn't want to admit it to herself.  Talking to him is definantly a good idea.  But why would he cheat and then ask her to move with him.  Maybe you can plant a guilt trip on him and he'll tell her.  But I think it's his place to spill the beans!  Good Luck!
1068495
Yeah, tell her the truth. The truth will set you free, as they say. Tell her exactly what you said here, that you love her so much that you don't want to involve her. If you can't bring yourself to tell her what it is that happened, just tell her she will be at risk if you did. Wow, I feel for you, best of luck, I hope your problems will be solved soon.
1119493
NO.  You can sue for information like that.  It is medical history and it is deemed confidential.  I would hope he would have told your wife if he has the STD's.  If he willing gave STD' to anyone without disclosing it.  He could be brought in for assault with a deadly weapon.  No puns here.  Should talk to her about this.
416078
I've experienced a slightly different situation, I'm very good friends with the husband not so much the wife but I found out that she was cheating on him.  When I told him he totally denied it, refused to accept that it was true and doesn't believe me.  Then he got mad at me for pushing the issue so I guess it depends on the person how they'll react when you tell but I would.
1148228
If your wife left you already, what are you waiting for? Don't miss out on what could be for what isn't. You don't have to tell your wife nothing about this lady you're interested in. You stated she left you. You can file divorce probably without grounds since you've been separated already. If you must tell your wife anything at this point in time, it could just simply be, we need to move on. Don't let life pass you by on this one.
733195
If you continue seeing her the husband may find out then you may be in for a world of touble. So You should break it off and not see her ever again. Also once a cheater always a cheater.
1098499
Dude - you did it now. You have to come clean with her, and your wife, and you may lose both of them by doing so. Honesty is the best policy. This gal should already understand your situation, or you should already be separated from the wife.\n\nYou've got some backpedaling to do, and it won't be pretty....
1013877
I told you she would find out about us sooner or later!  I am crushed, I told myself I would never do such a thing with a married man.  Then look at what I have gone and done??????  Oh my.  \n\nSeriously now,\nI say run with it, just don't over use it if you know what I mean.  Just watch out for WHEN you find her doing the same.  <wink>  :)
539656
My Husband never cheated, but if a husband was going to cheat I'd rather know. If its over its over,he should be honest enough to tell you.Two things to be done after that , either forgive him and NEVER bring it up again. Anyone can make a mistake once, only a fool does it twice.And personally I would not stay married to a fool.
1048646
Don't listen to your friends.  Enjoy the secret love affair, life's too short not to...though it doesn't sound so secret if your friends know.  Since you work in different departments it's no big deal.  If you worked in the same office on the same floor then it might be a big deal.  If you really care for this woman and she cares for you then shut out the negative remarks that others make about it.  It's no ones business but your own.  You have to remember, YOU ARE BOTH ADULTS....repeat....BOTH ADULTS.  Hopefully everything will work out.  If it doesn't then you have to remember you are both adults and will handle it in a professional manner.  You're not little children (Hello.)  \n\nYour friends are jealous....YES, they are...and PETTY also.  Shame on them!  They should be happy for you.  It's really sad they had to come down on you like that.  \n\nAlso, I know of lots of couples that met through work and fell madly in love, got married and are still married to this day.  It's wonderful.  Please don't listen to your so called friends....who I wouldn't call friends at all.  Also, you should not have made it any of their business in the first place.  And shame on you for that part!\n\nOne additional note:  Since you are already having the affair this is a senseless question to ask at this stage.  You should have asked it before you started the affair.  What difference will it make now.  Therefore, you might as well enjoy it.
133265
Stop and think about all the things you could loose if your husband somehow found out about your affair. Is it really worth it? You need to make a choice. You can't have it both ways.\n\nMarriage is all about loyalty, commitment, honesty, maturity. If you don't have those things, then you don't really have a marriage so you might as well end it. If you don't want to end your marriage, then you know what you have to do. End the relationship. \n\nThen you need to take a good hard look at why you had an affair anyway. Was it for the excitement? If so, find a way to put excitement back in your marriage. Your husband was the man you fell in love with, committed to, made a vow to. Would you want him to have an affair? Consider how it would make you feel, then do everything in your power to be the kind of partner you would want him to be.\n\nWhether or not you decided to tell him about the affair is a decision you have to make. You would be taking a chance that he will walk out and never look back. On the other hand, you would be making the first step toward an honest relationship instead of living a lie, and you wouldn't have to worry about him hearing about your affair from someone else.\n\nPeople are human and make mistakes. It's what we do when we are faced with our mistakes that determine our character. The choice is yours. Good luck.
860989
Your fiance is your best friend ( I hope ) so i don't think you did anything wrong.\nNow if he tells her husband that's going to be a problem. It's over and done with now so just let it go\nI just wouldn't go out with her anymore That way you can't see anything you don't want to see.\n\nIf she is cheating her husband will find out soon enough
166531
It sounds like this has been a good experience for you because it has boosted your self-esteem. Often, when a spouse cheats, the other partner's self-esteem is bruised. Even if the affair had nothing to do with them, they take on guilt and wonder "What could I have done differently? What was wrong with me?"\n\nSeeing the other woman helped you achieve closure because you could finally realize that you didn't cause the affair. It was your ex's choice, for whatever reason, and there's probably nothing you could have done. That's a very liberating revelation!\n\nDr. Barb Nefer, http://www.bnlifeskills.com