I love my husband, but I can't trust him with money.  Should I leave?
413605
Surely you won't leave him just because of this. He can always find a job if he really wants on so think this over before you throw away 10 years...............................
645356
First of all, I congratulate you for sticking around so long and trying to make it work. But it sounds like he wants you for all the fun and none of the responsibility. If he wants you home, but refuses to give you money, serious issue in my books. Its saying to me...share my house, but I don't trust you with my money. But, oh yeah, you gotta be home for me whenever. Yuck, sounds controlling to me. For me, the deal breaker would be no more kids. I have 3 right now, and if my hubby said no after the first, I woulda moved on. I love the guy, but its been in my heart since I was a child to have lots of kids. If your relationship were giving, a marriage, and sounded like there was a partnership it would be one thing. But he sounds controlling and like he's dangling the maybe of marriage just to keep you around. So tell him how you feel. Tell him you need more (more kids, a marriage, a guy that devotes as much time to his family as his job). If he's not seriously making improvements in the next few months, I'd start finding a family member to help you until you can get a job and a place. You are still plenty young, and don'y stay with him cause you are unsure of what-ifs. God bless!!
547575
All I can say is that I'm with the majority here. You should leave your partner and avoid him as much as possible afterwards. Believe me, if you do leave him, he will lie about your relationship and you behind your back to anyone who will listen. So you want to avoid him at all costs. And if the two of you have mutual friends, be very careful because he may already have set you up by complaining to them about you. \n\nI know this may sound paranoid and excessive but if your partner does the things you say he's doing, it's much more likely to happen as I describe than for him to suddenly become supportive and truthful. He's blaming you for things that you haven't done. Then tells you that you're crazy for denying them.\n\nThere is a famous movie, "Gaslight," in which the "loving" husband creates situations that make his wife look like she's losing her mind. It takes place in the 1800s or early 1900s when houses were lit with gas lamps. The husband turned the gas down from the attic while his wife thought he was at work or somewhere else. She would tell him that the lights were dimming on their own but when they checked together, the lights were fine. Hence, the title "Gaslight." \n\nThis story became so well-known that "gaslighting" is a term commonly used to describe situations where someone is being made to appear crazy to others and deceived into thinking they're losing their own minds. Example: "He's gaslighting you."\n\nIn reality, he isn't your partner. Partners should not undermine each other.\n\nThe reasons why people behave this way may vary. It may give him a sense of control. If he resents your support, it may be his way of punishing you for making him resent you for helping him. (I didn't say these reasons make sense.) He may be taking advantage of you for his personal financial gain -- he keeps his money and spends yours for living. He may just be a mean and angry person.\n\nYou may say that he wasn't like this when you both fell in love. That's entirely possible. This may have been a hidden side of him, revealed only after he relaxes his self-control. Or situations in his life may have changed him.\n\nIt almost doesn't matter. He -might- improve without you. He'll only get worse with you. \n\nAnd if you do choose to leave him, DON'T believe his promises, pleading, and changed behavior if he tries to win you back. If he ever does improve, it will take years. By then, hopefully, you'll have moved on to a better, happier and more peaceful life.\n\nGood luck.
1098521
I would definitely say, nip this problem in the ass before you get married. Believe me, it is much easier to get married than it is to divorce. If he will lie about money, chances are, he wouldn't have a problem lying to you about other things. On the other hand, try to be receptive, and understanding, so he is more apt to tell you the truth in the future.
738259
I responded to your first question..but Ill say it again. Talk to him nicely and find out what the underlying issue is. I really think it is more than money. He resents you for something that may or may not have nothing to do with money. Sounds like the overall relationship is not so healthy. It may be time to move on. Do you have a family member to move in with. If you really want to try to make it work...see a counselor-but start with talking to him yourself. He might open up to you and tell you why he doesnt want to help you out.  Good luck.
753327
You have quite a dilemma there and that actually happened to me .I was married and didn't love him anymore and didn't have the balls to tell him and looking back i wish i did . I could have saved us all alot of misery. If i could do it over I would've saved up some money and just moved out and left him. That's what you should do .Plan your next move financially and emotionally it will be easier for both of you .
611086
Trust your feelings.  Something's telling you this relationship is not right.  Listen to one who's been through the "clinging boyfriend" thing.  I stayed with him for 3 years because I thought he loved me, needed me, couldn't live without me, and all that.  Meanwhile, he was showing his "love" for me by knocking me around, being super jealous and possessive, controling everything I said and did -- I think you know what I'm talking about!  This is NOT LOVE, but a sick relationship.  You can't "save" him, and he won't change unless he gets treatment.  When you break up, he'll even threaten to kill himself or you, or promise to get treatment, or whatever.  Don't accept the guilt -- it's his problem, not yours.  If he gets treatment, fine -- wish him well and keep moving.  But don't go back.  It may sound heartless, but trust me -- he doesn't "love" you, he only wants to "own" you.  He may even think he loves you, but he doesn't know what love is.  Don't mess up your life.  You're not helping him any by letting this relationship continue anyway.  Don't be just one of those statistics years from now (one more abused wife -- or worse, one more beaten to death wife).
821721
Absolutely not! Believe me, if you start paying off his debts for him, this will not be the last time it's asked of you. My friend fell into this with her ex-husband, and by the time she finally got wise, she had had to file bankruptcy and her credit was destroyed. Now he has moved on to another woman and is following the same pattern. I urge you not to do this. The point is that he may say he would do it for you, but you are not asking him to. I would be the one reconsidering this relationship. The truth is that if HE loved YOU, he would know better than to even ask. Good luck to you. You deserve not to do this.\n\nOne more thing: If you do go through with marriage to this man, please keep your finances separate from his. He WILL hurt your credit and your chances of ever getting free if you need to.
853820
i imagine he has a right too.. i because how much debt you have affects him too believe it or not... he probably doesn't want to wreck his credit rating with your spending habbits..\n\nperhaps you need to talk to him.. and figure out how much you can both spend as free whatever i want to buy cash.. and just use cash to buy stuff..\n\ni dont think you have a right to mad.. as being married its a partnership.. everyone is equal.. and he probably feels your spending to much
1002091
Your best bet would be to talk to him and ask him if he is still happy in this relationship. If you are supicious of his behaviors there is some serious problems between the two of you. I understand how difficult it is to not have trust in your partner. However, as difficult as it is, life is too short to spend it unhappy, with somebody who you do not trust nor have respect for. It is difficult to leave somebody who you are use to, but after the difficult part is over, (leaving and healing) you will be much more likely to find a partner who you deserve, somebody who will treat you with the love and honor you deserve. Good luck.
376414
Money does not buy happiness. If the man is good to you and you love him nothing else matters. You said it yourself he is perfect, what more could you ask for. I would stay in a one room apartment if that's all we could afford and the man is perfect. You can also work to help financially. No one knows what will come next, even a rich man can go bankrupt then what do you have if you were only in it for the money?
410736
if you want your marriage to work you are going tohave to draw a line under it. i know its easier said than done. try and think of the good things in the relationship whenever you feel yourself distrusting him, thats what i did.
661958
It is all about trust...do you trust him??? If so..then why worry!! Go have a good time with your friends(dinner, movie..or day of beauty w/ lunch). If you don't , well then your relationship is headed for the rocks. You are not a married couple , or engaged so it could very well be a matter of budget.\nNOTE: When we got married we paid for our own reception and were on a tight budget...had to cut our "guest list". There were no hurt feelings...people understood and sent their blessings.
426724
no, don't leave him, hold it over his head and refuse to divorce him.  He will be miserable and will have to give you everything you want because you will hold all the cards and totally have the upper hand.
11403
DANGER, WILL ROBINSON.\nDo not do it.  Look for an available (read unattached) man.  \n\nHe may cheat with you, and find you the most facinating creature on earth.  He may treat you like a Goddess and tell you that he can't live without you, that you are the love of his life. \n\nHe felt this way about his wife, once too.   He loved her so much he married her and had kids with her.  \n\nIf you do intice him to cheat, how can you ever have anything real in the future? Even if he does leave his wife and kids.  There can & will NEVER be trust between you because look how it started.  \nStay away.
437676
If your boyfriend has trust issues like this, how can this relationship last? That said, is he supporting you and your son? If you aren't working, then who pays the bills? If he is in fact the head of your household, and he is the breadwinner, then why not let him have the deduction. I think the issue here is whether or not your should continue in this relationship, not whether you should let him have a tax deduction.
443732
never trust a guy, espec`ially if he loves you.  Always make sure you are independent enough of him that you will be alright if he turns out to be a jerk.... and never let him spend your money.