After a 3 years relationship, what is next?
396225
Accept her decision if you sincerely care for her. If thet time is right things will happen for the two of you. I also think that you should really think this realtionship through! You say you have been together for three years yet you have only seen her for a total of six weeks thats not healthy in a realationship. Did you ever think that she might have someone in her country? Just think it over and if she is still the one ask her to marry you. Good Luck!
876514
It is three years later, and you are both three years older and more mature.  Now is definitely time to find that chemistry again. If you still care about this guy, go and re-introduce yourself to him.  He may not be available right now, but it doesn't hurt to find out. :-)\n\nGood luck!!
235242
If he is cheating on you after 3 years you really need to find a real man one that wants you and no one else. But if you want to try to fix it find out if he still loves you and why he is doing this to you.
953988
Ask for goodness sakes!  How are you going to be able to find out if things are going to get better if you don't take the next step.  Are you going to wait and depend on him?  He is probably totally oblivious.  You might have a long wait.  SOMEBODY needs to make a decision.  Good luck!
1019483
Some times a relationship just isn't made for the long haul.  I think it sounds like you two have had a good run but the relationship has reached its end point.  Maybe it is time to end this so that both of you can move forward with your lives.  If you keep going like this eventually you are going to end up hating each other and you are both going to miss out on other opportunities in life.
1014210
My first thought is your not in love, you have not found Mr. right, so I suggest to you to break it off with the guy of 3 months and move on.  ALSO use protection it is a hard world out there and it is better to safe than sorry.  \nJealousy is the root of all evil......  It will get you no where FAST
320161
PUT DOWN THE PHONE AND STEP AWAY.  Do not call your ex.  You'll end up looking like a desperate fool who wants to get back together with him and he will feel like he has 'won'.  Yes, it's that childish.  Don't call him and don't expect him to call you.  That's what a break-up does; it stops contact between the two of you.  There may be a time and place that you can be friends, but it is NOT now.  Now so soon after your split.  I know it seems like it should be different given your time togehter, but it's not.  I was in a 3 year relationship with a guy I wanted to marry and it ended badly.  I didn't talk to the guy again until 3 years later and even then it was akward and came across as desperate and stupid.  You have to accept this relationship as being over.  The first few months will be a test of your strength, but you can get through it.  You will never forget this guy.  It's been 10 years now for me and I still think of him and hope he is well.  But that doesn't mean you can expect a good relationship from here on out.  It's over.  Let it be over and move on.  Don't call him, you'll end up regretting it big time.
64654
I like Toby's grow some nuts advice. If he's afraid you'll hurt him he souldn't be with you in the 1st place. Usually the "i'm afraid you'll hurt me is a bunch of bs anyway, he's keeping his options open. Bottom line is you're more commited than he is. If the guy really has had some kind of fear for the 3 years of his relationship with you he sould have taken ownership and fixed it for YOUR sake because he loves YOU.\n\nSuggest counseling for him as a couple to help him with his "fear". If he says no you need to find someone else who suits your needs and goals in life because as it stands now you have a 3 way relationship- Him, his last gf, and you. Notice you're 3rd in the pecking order?
198528
Ask him, point plank, what his intentions are. Perhaps it's time to find out what kind of future your relationship has. Be very clear about what you want and expect from him.
149349
I too was in a relationship with someone of a different ethnicity, who also happened to be 18 years my senior, and after 3 and a half years, I broke it off not too long ago actually.  It is never easy to deal with a breakup, but you must find the strength to move foward.  I think we need to take time to heal and jumping right into another relationship isn't the answer.  However, going out with friends and maybe even meeting the guy your friends are encouraging you to meet may not be such a bad idea.  Just don't move to fast too soon, and make decisions for all the wrong reasons.  Things happen for a reason and not every person that we are with is the person that is our life partner, you don't want someone in your life that you can't trust, nor do you want a cheater.  So wish him luck and say good riddance to bad rubbish.
1044066
I hope you can stand an answer from a woman. When I read this, my heart went out to you. Believe me, I understand. It's good you recognize the first relationship where the guy didn't want kids had to end. That was a very healthy decision and you shouldn't look back on that with regret.\n\nAs for this last guy, I think he's just too immature to deal with his feelings. A guy I dated before I met my boyfriend did the same thing to me. Of course, I wasn't ready to declare my love for him at that point or anything either and then months later, the jerk tried emailing me. Ugh. Anyway, the reason I say this guy is immature about his feelings is because 3 months is a really short amount of time to determine if you love someone. In fact, I'm always wary of when people say it too soon. It makes me think they are just in love with the idea of being in love. My boyfriend and I didn't say those 3 little words until we were together almost a year, but I can tell you, we're both very sure of how much we love one another. I'm sorry you're in this situation and I think this has much more to do with the guy you were involved with than you. I don't think you can determine if it's love in just 3 months time and I don't think you'd want to waste your time seeing someone each day that you didn't think you could invest in a future with. I hope that helps, even if I made you feel a little less alone out there in the world. I've been there before and it's not fun, but if this guy is too much of a tool to see what a bright, self-assured woman he has, then you are much better off without him. Good luck to you.
507719
wait three years and ask Laura.
817989
well...ur situation is just like mine now..lol\njust think carefully....do u still wnat this relationship to continue?
856584
This is just about the most serious flaw that a relationship can have. You are at that uncomfortable point where you are about to realize that three years of your life has passed and that you can not afford to give this man more of your life if he is not committed to a future with you that includes children. Sure, it is easy for all of us to push kids off into the future but now the time to put up or shut up has arrived for your relationship. A word of warning to you. Having children is the most rewarding of all life's gifts but it is the biggest commitment that you will ever make and you can not go into it with a man who is not happy, hopeful, and excited about the prospects of being a father. You need to talk to him and see what he thinks... I believe that you are ready to move on and he needs to know this. I was living with a great woman for almost two years, two weeks before our third Christmas together we had a talk about our future, kids, faith... the whole nine yards. After a two hour talk we ended it... peacefully and very fast. I moved out before the new year. Sometimes you realize in your heart and your mind that the person that you are with is not the one you are going to end up with... we both came to that conclusion. You need to make a choice too. I have been married now for five years and have two great kids- I hope your choice works out for you as well.
171693
My first thought is, thank goodness he is honest about this. Secondly there have surely been signs that he has not been as serious as you have been. After 2 years it should have got past liking you into something much deeper. Sounds like he has led you on. Take off your rose colored glasses and see what is really there. Why did you stay? Did you set yourself up for a no win situation because you don't think your worthy of anything else? You are, but you need to learn to love yourself before you can love anyone else. A good relationship has good communication so there would be no surprises after 2 years. Let him go, work on yourself and then and only then will you be ready for more. You will also be more picky, more accurate in your choices.
222598
First, this is a situation only you and she can solve.  It's up to the two of you.  Second, I question your feelings for each other, given the fact that you have never met.  Third, if you seriously do want to be together why can't she travel to your country?  Lastly, sometimes relationships don't work out...and there are plenty of fish in the sea.  If things haven't worked in three years, chances are they won't.  Maybe you both should be looking for love a little closer to home.  Just some insight.
545598
dump him. Trust me, if this has been going on for 3 years, he is taking advantage of you and most likely will not change. Plus you have to ask yourself if he even really cares about you if he is selfish enough to not help you at all.