Can a non-custodial father survive the loss of his 8 yr old child and the crushing debt of child support?
396341
I'm so sorry for your loss and I hope this helps. There a number of web sites dedicated to single dads with and without custody . they offer advise,emotional support and services and links to financial help for getting your support problems fixed or dissolved. I understand this so well, my ex has been stealing support from me the last 4 years and both my sons live with me due to his harsh abuse. The court has refused to acknowledge this fact allowing this theft to continue. Like you I have limited resources so fighting the Attorney General is not an option for me but I know that what comes around goes around. Hang in there and Bless you.
370803
As someone who has had support obligors jailed for failing to pay support, but also as someone who has been faced with support obligees who completely misrepresent their financial and custody circumstances in order to try to force an obligor parent to pay more than would otherwise be permitted, as a means of maintaining control over the other person, my opinion is that you must balance the value of the money to you, with the very real likelihood that you may disincentivize the other party from wanting to have anything to do with his/her child(ren), and furthermore to want to try to improve their own financial circumstances over the long term.\n\nThere is really no perfect answer to the questions, but I would urge you to try to get the obligor parent more involved in directly caring for the child, rather than merely paying for it, because this produces the best overall result for the child. The father will feel involved, and less likely to want to withhold support for the child, and the child will feel like there are two involved parents, rather than only one who is doing the caring, and the other who is doing the paying.\n\nGood luck.
286180
Immediately yes!! But tread lightly! Losing a parent is very difficult. You've got to plan the funereal, find out where the parent was financially, and if there was Life Insurance, and of course, the estate. I lost my dad about a year and a half ago and still grieve his loss!
563261
I'm in Australia, so there isn't much I can help you with in regards to the laws of your country, assuming you live somewhere else. But congratulations for being a great man and father and seeing your kids as people you love not just a responsibility. Whatever happens, your children will grow up knowing they are in an environment of love and support and that will be a huge benefit and source of comfort for them. I'm separated, with five kids and their father has moved on with his life and that life doesn't involve them. Its had a ravaging effect on them emotionally. There should be more men like you. I know things are really hard and I can see how you would be feeling down and frustrated. Just remember a close family will survive anything. Good Luck. You have lucky children.
905958
Mate, when someone you love tells you that you can see your daughter once a fortnight and then teaches her to call someone else daddy. When you are treated like a criminal just because it is assumed you are a deadbeat dad. When you are financially broken to pay for support and fees.\n\nHere in Australia the Child Support Agency have the powers to walk into your home and take possessions to pay their version of "arrears" in child support. Nearly every guy that happens to suicides and nobody cares.\n\n8 years after my divorce I was driving along the road and someone cut me off. I felt this strange pricklly sensation and had to pull the car over. I realized eventually that my fear reaction had been missing for 8 years, because I genuinely didn't care whether I lived or died.\n\nI am married again and still not sure I will ever emotionally recover. I will definitely never recover financially.\n\nAll of this happens to nice guys every day and nobody cares. Talk about your silent majority. You can see from the sarcastic comments that precede my post that nobody cares about these broken men.
176026
Sorry buddy but you will have to pay it all.  It does not matter how old you child is now. Or even if the new dad is claiming him. All a judge is going to see is that you owe. Just because they may not need the money now they needed it then and did not get it. I know it was hard. It is for most fathers and mothers who have to pay. You can try. But I don't think its gonna go through.
133271
Not if it's the law.\nQuit trying to come up with a way for the non-custodial parent to be irresponsible.
1047462
5 yeara of that? yickes and ouch for the kids, this cant be good for any of you and ther family..its so sad.\n\nAnyways, go to lawyers.com, they can help you find one in your state.\n\ngood luck and make sure you have the best interrest in the kids ( i wouldnt drag my kids through that, him and i compromised and the kids are happy )
47215
Well, as a guy paying 1500 per month in child support for one child, I TOO see both sides of it. I agreed to pay this amount, and was not required to pay it. One of the other responders is correct, it varies from state to state, but runs about 20% of your pay. the fact is, I am more qualified, and financially responsible to raise my child. I have more energy, time, and general resources than my Ex-wife, but do you think I could EVER win custody, even though I am truly more qualified? No, never, not in a million years can a man win.. So for the average man, it is a lose/lose situation.. We lose a large percentage of our pay, and we lose much of our time with our child.. My lawyer said in the state of Texas, a woman has to have murdered someone to lose their child, and he claims there has not heard of a single case where the father was given custody without VERY extenuating circumstances. \n\nTo the person who said "they should have thought about that before they had kids".. Don't be an idiot. You must be 12 years old...
731439
I'm sure it depends on the state you live in, take Okla. If the noncustodial parent hasn't paid support for 12 out of 14 mos. it's pretty easy. I'd check with a lawyer, you'll need one anyway and most will give you a free consult.
1082852
yes they will go after him for back support. i live in Illinois and my daughters father lives in Colorado. we were married for 7 years. when i divorced him he totally stopped supporting her. for the past 5 years the state has collected child support from him. he demanded a paternity test so i went along w/ it and took one. the state told him if it shows that hes the father he has to pay the cost of the test, and guess what he had to pay the cost. he was just trying to get out of paying, he was trying to stall. but that only worked for so long. they will go after support all the way back till the day he was born.
383890
I am truly sorry there is no easy answer for this.  As difficult as it may sound,  ask your soon to be ex for help or to end the divorce quickly.  As long as you are still married lenders still consider debts to be jointly held.  Your pending divorce will scare them.  If nothing else,  get away form the jerk you are with.  I know from experince that abuse, even if only witnessed, is more devestating to children than poverty.
174064
Children of any age resent any "outside" interference from sources such as yourself in their lives.  They always consider that maybe, the parents will return to each other and they will be "one happy family" once again.  And, if by chance, your "man" was widowed, the kids think of you as the "Wicked Witch of the West" trying to replace their mom.  After 2 years, I would think you'd have a better hold on everything, but it appears maybe you and the "man" hasn't really sat down and discussed these matters for the future. But you state, its "your feelings toward the children" that you fear, not their feelings toward you?  Evidently, you can't accept the children and only want kids between you and your man.  Now that's a major problem and if I were you, and can afford it, I'd seek professional help on this matter.  And if you can't afford it, maybe the welfare people in your state might assist in financial matters?  I'd find out ASAP and get this problem either corrected in my own mind, or split with this guy knowing you will never accept his children as yours.
349194
A lot depends on the age of the child in the jurisdiction in which he resides.  In Texas, for instance, a child as young as 10 has the ear of the Family Law court as to his preferences.\n\nThen, the court can appoint a guardian ad litem who represents the child non-partially toward either parent.\n\nThe parent seeking custody must have a good lawyer and no doubt home studies of each parent's home environment and lifestyle will be ordered by the court.  All of this costs money of course. Often LOTS of money.\n\nIf the custodial parent is proven un-fit as the person above me says, and the non-custodial parent IS fit, it will most likely be a slam dunk. But if the only reason the non-custodial parent is seeking custody is to shift the child support payments, for example, success is unlikely.\n\nIf you are the non-custodial parent in this case, and what you want is more time with your child, and you are not simply seeking a reduction in expenses or some kind of revenge against the child's other parent, and the other parent is not unfit, and you are a fit parent, I highly recommend that you attempt mediation before you go the more aggressive route outlined above.  See if you two and your attorneys can't work out a custody arrangement better for your child than the current one. It is ALWAYS better for the children of divorce when the parents work together for the child's welfare, instead of placing the innocent in the middle where he always ends up feeling as though he somehow caused it all.
343165
Contact the GA CSD division.  Their site is down right now, but the link is www.cse.dhr.state.ga.us/\n\nYou can also try these people...\n\nhttp://www.supportkids.com/content/public/stateinfo/statespecific/supportga.asp\n\nYES, you are still owed the money even if the child is now 21.  You need to contact the court.  For owing that much money, the father's name and picture could be on every news program and newspaper in the state, if not more.\n\nThey will help you.  I am not saying they will be able to find him right away, or that he will have the ability to pay, but you certainly need to try.
464734
laws very from state to state. i don't think you can collect support after the child was adopted because the father would have to give up his rights. when he did that he relieves his self of past payments due. most men give up there rights as a father to keep from paying child support. but i would check w/ a lawyer to be on the safe side.
909545
The family court judge will do the following... if he's any good.\n\nTaking into account that the judges first and foremost objective is the care and well being of the child(ren).  Therefore, what has happened in the past does not play into what is to happen going forward.  The past doesn't pay for nor should it take away from the child that needs support.  So...\n\nThe judge should ignore the tax problem and the guy shouldn't bring it up as a debt he has to pay.\nThe judge will base his decision based on the Non-Costodial parents wages and/or potential wages.  Thus based on the number of kids there will be a set max percentage that can be asseted.  If the custodial parents ability to fully support the child financially, then the judge will most like award the maximum amount.\n\nDuring this process, the non-custodial parent has the right lay out the income and expenses they have and ask the Custondial Parent to do the same in an attempt to lower the amount of Child support to a level the JUDGE can deem as fair to the CHILD.\n\nIn my case, the after the judge looked at all the debts I got and the cost of my house note and the amount of money and number of kids (3), he looked at me.. assested the support amount and then said, "But I really don't know how you are going to make that amount and keep your home."\n\nSo.. it's about the kids.  Period.  Not that it's wrong, it's just the way it is.  The fact your friend hasn't paid Taxes in years is not a factor the judge will probaly consider nor does he want to hear about it as he would prefer the man be out of jail and working to support the child.. then in jail and the state support them.\n\nHope this helps!\n\nOh... he better have an attorney and he better tell them everything!