What can I do to help raise myself esteem after a bad break up and am scared of it happeneing again?
408869
Oh, you sound adorable!  Yes, I think this is a confidence issue.  Number one:  do not start dating again right away.  Rebounds do not help self-esteem.  It just makes you dependent on a girl's attention for self-love.  What I do is focus on the love that's already in my life, from friends and family members.  I just try to go out and have fun.  Pretty soon, I realize I'm having fun without a romantic interest.  And then, I become braver in approaching people, because their rejection isn't such a big deal.  I can do fine without them.  And don't look at other women as potential dates.  Look at them as potential friends.  Eventually, you'll find one you want to date and who will help you out of your shell.  But good luck and don't worry about it too much.  This girl isn't worth your time or worry.
988431
You have said it in the first line of your question here, that this problem seems to be based on your past. You seemed to have been wounded by something that has already happened before. Its best you sit and think. Go back to that part of your past and mentally think as to what you could have done to make things better. I know doing so will be painful but it is something that you must do in order to ease the pain. Continuous suspicions, mistrust issues are not to be looped over such a long period of time, especially when you have beautiful people around you who I am positive are caring and concerned more than you know. There is absolutely nothing to be afraid of and most of all there's nothing more frightening than fear itself. Another question here from my side is why is it that you are afraid to love? I am asking this because we all know that what you give is definitely what you get back in return. If you provide love and affection, it is guaranteed that it will come back to you too. If you have any further questions or need someone to talk to, please don't hesitate to e-mail me. Remember, there are so many wonderful people around and you should give them a chance before you can think of anything else. Before that, please try and do what I've mentioned earlier about looking back and thinking for a moment. Until then, take care. :)
458945
Deal with it.  Think about the reasons that you broke up, so that you don't make the same mistakes again.  Go a little slower in your next relationship, so that you take the time to know what a person is like before getting involved and possibly hurt.\n\nTake a look at your own behavior.  What would she say about you?  If you could do the relationship over again, what would you do differently?  This could give you clues to be a better boyfriend, which could help you get a better girlfriend next time :)\n\nTake a few months off - girls don't like a guy who is needy, and can't live without a girl.  Be yourself, remember what is good about you.  It's ok to be sad or pissed for a while, but cool off and stay cool.\n\nDon't be afraid to talk with girls, but don't try to ask them out, just look for girls who have the same favorite things as you, and that are nice people.  Later on, after knowing them for a couple months, then ask them out.
282802
stay humble and think back those things you've done a while ago...apologize if there was a mistake you have done or find an exact time to reconcile each other. express yourself if you'll get hurt but don't just demand. stay calm and humble. GOOD LUCK!
615687
Don't know your circumstances but I will tell you what worked (eventually) for me. \n1. Pretend your ex has died. Sounds severe but forces you to forget about "getting back together".\n2. Make yourself absolutely un-available to the ex. Take comfort in knowing they will miss you. Be a mystery.\n3. Rid yourself (or at least attempt to) of your worst personal defect. Are you overweight? Any addictions? Unemployed? In debt? Pick one and do what it takes to fix it.\n4. Don't take heartbreak or the break-up too personal. I personally think testosterone (and estrogen)cause insanity.\n5. Remember this: You cannot make someone love you. All you can do is be someone who can be loved.The rest is up to them. Go to link below for more like this.\n6. Above all, do something positive, for you.
1011317
This is actually pretty common. A lot of people do this. It's not so much you're self-destructive, you're afraid of not meeting expectations. You need to be more in touch with yourself, see yourself as more than you do right now. Once you get that self-confidence up, you'll see you really do deserve a guy who worships you and adores you :)
491148
First off, you need some time alone just to reflect on it. I don't mean let it consume you, but if it ended for a good reason then you need to be alone just to regroup and get yourself together. After that go out and have a drink with some friends. Get back into the social scene, but steer clear of the relationship deal for a minute
1166650
Girl I am so sorry and I completly understand what you are going through. I recently broke up with my FIANCE and it has been so hard not see or talking to him.  I am trying to focus more on improving myself like going to the gym and I am going to get some certifications in my job.  Basically I am tring to improve myself FOR MYSELF.  I suggest you do the same maybe join some clubs in your area to meet new people.  anyway, email me if you need someone to talk to.
979611
Quick Fix/ Do you love her? YES.   Have you been hurt in the past? YES.  Who cares my friend. You are franklly just scared.  Moments of intimacy cover it up sometimes and that is why you feel happy.  Let go of this fear. This girl you have in front of you is going to make you very happy.  Let go of your past, and live.  Otherwise, the next question you are going to be asking us is" How do I get her back?"
140113
my advice. Keep it broken off. dont just forget what happened and why you broke up...it happened for a reason. FInd someone else that you want to be with. Please dont get into the make up/break up cycle. It really sucks!!!
310710
This is my advice to you. I was in the same position that you were in. I dated for a guy for 3 years and he broke up with me b/c he was afraid of commitment or whatever. But my advice to you is this 1) show him that you are the stronger one by not being needy,calling him all the time or really bring up the relationship 2) TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF by taking care of yourself it prove to him that you are okay and will help him realize what he is missing 3)surround yourself with family and friends a good support system is the key to the whole situation.
341582
As time goes on you will heal, don't let the thought of a man bring you down, remember this to shall pass. You had a decision to make and you made it, good for you, you left before it got any worse. Give yourself enough time to realize what you really want out of life, when the time comes and the right person comes along you will just know that you did the right thing. Right now your just looking for a rebound b/c your not used to being alone anymore, try it you just might find out that you like it that way.Good Luck.
965885
just be yourself and have confidence..\nIf you are single or going throught a break up and you are looking and need someone, please visit my site, join free and start dating:\nhttp://tinyurl.com/ykj7bm
141253
that's usually normal if you really love a person, there will always be an attachment regardless of how long you had broken up. a good crying might help to release all your pent-up feelings (regret, more importantly). find a diversion to keep yourself away from drowning into depression.trust and love yourself.a good therapy is also advisable.
99384
Yes, you should take some time, even if you don't think you need it, to reevaluate yourself, your feelings about the world and relationships.  If anything, just to make sure you will be okay, and not have a bad after effect later than expected.  You know, to make sure you still know you.  Relationships change people, even if they don't see it, so it is best to just relax, take a break, and make sure you are totally comfortable to go back into dating before you try again.  If you are not sure, just wait, it is likely you are feeling some subconcious doubt, and that will hurt your chances of a good experience.  You will want to give a new partner what they deserve, and you have to be confident and sure to really give it your all.
948670
You have to realize that there is someone else out there for you.  You go through good and bad break ups for a reason, and as long as you learn from them, I feel that it is the experience that's perfecting you for that perfect mate.  Know that you're not alone.  Some people come in your life who are supposed to play a significant role, and those who choose to pass right through and do you wrong were never meant to be special enough to make an important and positive mark in your life.  Don't beat yourself up, just learn from it.
298513
You should psych yourself by relaxing, giving yourself a "confidence boosting talk", you know, you can do this, you KNOW this, etc. and just walk into it with assurance. Good luck!