What do you do when you have divorced parents and you REALLY want to please them both BUt you can't.?
400818
honey you can't please both sets of parents. the big Question is " What do you want?" You have to set your mom down and tell her how you feel and what you want to do. That goes the same for your dad. Plus you need to tell your dad that it really hurts you when your stepmom makes those comments. You give me the impression that you feel like you have to please both parents and be perfect. You don't though. Sweetie be yourself and they'll love you. But you have to start by pleasing yourself first. GOOD LUCK
153428
Try talking to them one at a time probably when the other one is gone. I dont know how you parents are but if its a serious problem you dont wanna make it worse you know so just ask at different times. Good luck mama!
371099
I think parents just want what is best for their kids and tend to go overboard sometimes.  I thought my parents went on too much and I still do!  I'm 25 now with two children of my own and I still feel like a kid, lol.  Maybe they feel the need to be repetitive to get their point across. Hang in there and remember, you'll be an adult before you know it and wishing you were a kid again.  Just remember, they want only great things for you...
1118874
Sadly Liz there is not much you can do except keep a cool head when around you is craziness and encourage both parents to talk, not yell or use spiteful abuse towards each other. Maybe then there is a chance if they can listen to each other, but always remember it's never the kids fault, the problem lies in their relationship. Goodluck I feel for u!
960131
Sorry, honey, they are your parents. Obey them. It sucks, lots of things in life do, but there will always be rules set by those above you, and, sadly, you must follow them.\nNo one ever said life is fair.
444884
sorry to hear that kiddo.  my parents split up when i was like 10 and it was tough.  but now i'm 21 and i have good news--you'll get through it.\n\njust like everyone says, it isn't your fault.  divorce is so common these days that people forget that there are kids that are hurt every day because of it.  but the important thing for you to do is to keep your chin up, and don't hold your feelings inside.  talk to the people you feel comfortable with--your parents if they'll actually listen (not likely), a trusted teacher or school counselor, a family member like an aunt or uncle (grandparents are usually biased), or a good friend.\n\nas long as you let your emotions out, the loneliness and sadness you feel because of the divorce won't overwhelm you.  and last, make sure you make a resolution now:  that you'll marry a person that you know inside and out and that you know you can never fall out of love with.  even if it takes longer than you want it to, promise yourself that you'll never put your own family through what you're going through.  it'll give you strength to keep on.  good luck kid.
285006
You both need to sit down and talk with them. Let them know what your boundaries for this are. They have to let you go at some point. And if you don't talk to them it'll make it harder. Tell them to look at it from your point of view. It's not like you'll never see them again right? You will still be close enough to visit and see still. If they can't accept that then they are not being fair to you. You will adjust to your surroundings if you truly want to be there. It's all a part of growing up. Moving on and getting used to new things.
409773
Sorry to hear that but it sounds like there is a divorce coming, in order for your parents to still be able to be good parents sometimes they have to so whats best for them, if they aren't happy it makes it harder for them to keep you happy and your happiness means a lot to them. people grow and people change, i hope for your sake they make a change that will be better for you.
535996
Wee you need to let them know that you want to get closer. Parents tend to stay away if that is how they think you want it to be.  Try to spend more time with them. Go out to dinners, or make dinner for them.  Tell them you love them more and show respect. It may not happen right away, but it will.. Good Luck.
334247
Let them see what he does for you.  Set down physical boundaries when you're around your parents i.e., no touching except hand-holding,no kissing, groping, making out, pinching, sneaking off, etc. let them see what a gentleman he is. In turn, show them you REALLY love him, and nothing will stand in the way of that.  But since you do want their blessing R-E-S-P-E-C-T.  You respect them (even if they say quit seeing him, respect their wishes, they'll see you're sad, if it came to that.  Just remember you can't hope for them to like him. He has to be a good guy, and work at it.  It may also just take time.
1093587
I can tell you from experience it isn't easy.  However, I now have the advantage of being much older and am able to look back on the situation a bit more objectively.  First off, realize that this has nothing to do with you and their love for you.  This is a relationship problem between the two of them that you did not cause and you can do nothing about.  Next, continue to love your parents equally and do everything you can to make this as easy for them as possible.  Take time to talk to them and don't be afraid to let them know how you are feeling and ask them questions about what is going on if you need to.  Don't let this situation control your life, life will still go on and in a basic sense, nothing really is going to change all that much for you in the long run.
185050
I know I have the same prob. It makes me feel so unwanted to the point that I cry all the time, but never in front of them.I even tried ignoring them for a couple days and it works (most of the time). Look what I do is not spend time with my parents AT ALL. This way they'll want to spend time with you more and they will want you to spend time with them more.
268361
you can become emancipated from your parents, which something like divorce.  why don't you see a lawyer.  you'll probably need a ride from mom or pop.
1111928
try to talk to them both face to face so that they can say whatever they have to say in front of each other...they should be the 1st one who talked about that...don't pressure yourself...anyways,no one can please anybody just as you can't tell the both of them to be in good terms just because of you..have an open forum and try to settle things in a mature way...
377724
Nasty problem that you will not be able to solve. Your ex sound bitter and bound and determined to punish you for something or other. Unfortunately, all you can do is remain constant in your affection for them, and hopefully, with time, they will see things as they really are...no guarantees...they may or may not turn against you ... time will tell. But, no matter what you do, what you say, if it is negative towards their mother, they will swear their mother is right. IF, on the other hand, you are sympathetic towards the mother's plight, do not bad mouth her, and, in gereneral, behave nobly, your chances are slightly improved that they will come around. Been there. IT is a very sad thing when one parent uses children to "get even" with another...all concerned are badly damaged, including the offending parent...but that is of no consolation to you. You have my deepest sympathy in this...I have seen this happen time and time again. Such a waste, and seriously sad. You are in a loose-loose situation, short of gaining custody ... and that won't happen unless you can prove she is unfit as a parent. Good luck.
72412
When you are willing to set and enforce boundaries. It can be difficult, but you can do it if you really want to. First, take a look at WHY it's important to you to please your mother. Then, look at the negative consequences and commit to setting up boundaries. Communicate those boundaries to your mother, and STICK TO THEM. Don't let her put you on a guilt trip; you need to take care of yourself and let her take care of her own self. You're not responsible for her happiness...SHE is.\n\nDr. Barb Nefer, http://www.bnlifeskills.com
809905
Sounds like you need space for yourself. Dump the husband since he isn't working with the reconciliation. Then give your self space. Don't let this other guy enter your life too quickly, sounds like he did just that when you were separated. When you are stable from the finalized divorce, then look at your prospects.