my significant other is very aggressive when he gets intimate and it really bothers me, how can I tell him wit
409241
I would say, something like.. ya know, I really like it when you 'make love to me'.  The biggest turn ons for me are the gentle touches and the soft teases.\n\nDon't 'criticize' his style, just teach him you'd like it differently.  Maybe past partners have liked this.. or maybe that's the way he is.. but if you suggest it really carefully and lovingly and nothing changes, then that's a pretty basic thing, and you gotta move on if stuff doesn't change after an urging in the proper direction for you.  :)  Best of luck!
266535
This doesn't sound like a healthy relationship. You need to, sooner or later, bring up the problem to this other person, but if there's the risk for physical damage bring someone capable of dealing it out... who's on your side. A bodyguard of sorts, ne?\n\nIf physical damage isn't apparent, the best thing to do is face the music. I'm sorry I couldn't answer the way you probably would've like me to answer, but I've been in a slightly similar situation. Sure, the other party/person/whatever will probably be angry, but there's nothing you can do about that.\n\nI'll sum up:\n*Doesn't take out anger on you: Talk to them. Explain your problem as objectively as you can, with clear benevolent (good) intent.\n*Takes out anger on you: Bring a bodyguard.
697312
A couple things I can say on this coming from "experience".  The only time anyone would be suspicious of you is if they themselves were doing something they shouldn't be.  Most importantly and very concerning is this... \nI'm not sure how long you have been together or what your relationship is like, but there are distinct signs of future abusive behaviors here.  Your best option is to discuss this with him and express your concerns.  If he's not willing to tell you or worse it explodes into an argument, cut your losses (no matter how hard it may be) and leave.  Reality should tell you if you can't talk, there's no future.  No one deserves to be treated like that and you should have more respect for yourself to know there is someone out there that will treat you the way you should be.\nGood luck to you...
682604
Its verbal abuse. Not all the signals are the same for other couples so take it for granted that maybe its a joke but do this for one week but see if he calls you those names after you seem irriating to him. You sound like your insecure. If he loves you 100% than why leave him? This makes no sense which is why I commented you seem insecure. You have a mouth to open and shut so tell him you do not like being called those names. Maybe he's not aware its hurting your feelings nor he's actually doing it more than once per day. Basically, if he's doing it more than 2 times per day than its abuse. Abuse is not tolerated. I have been in a verbal abusive relationship and it makes you insecure and bring a low-self esteem. Try to open up and tell him or seek counseloring if it gets worse. I know easier said than done but do you want to be called respectful names, yes, so tell him to address you by your name or honey, sweetie or babe. Basically, tell him instead of that "b" word replace it with babe, beautiful or bodious maybe change the "c" word with cutie, charming or cupcake. I feel you need guidance so read books or just avoid confrontations that leads to those names unless its an everyday thing. Just do whats best for your heart and health. Abuse can damage your health.
331542
If you think he is worth it, sit him down and explain the situation, always use a lot of feel statements.  It should go something like this, "When you get really angry it makes me feel like I'm being attacked.  I feel like that isn't right or fair to me."  Feel statements help you address the issue without placing blame and agitating him further.  If he agrees to work on it, then you guys have a chance to make it, if not, I would get rid of him.  Oh, and if he ever lays a hand on you, get out of there!  Or if you think he is going to, don't give him the chance.  No man is worth that!!!
367352
You have a tendency to punish him when he gives you what you want. That will make him close up and communication will be next to impossible. I'm sure you don't do it maliciously, but you should stop to think how what you say might be perceived.
1135480
by not telling him your hurting him more. the day will come where you will crush him better to snatch the bandaid off rather then slowly peel it away. be open and honest and show respect but do it soon.
471534
I know what you mean. You don't want to hurt his feelings but he's developed a bad habit. What you do is talk to him honestly about how it's really stressing you out and the smart people on Yahoo Answers said that it may cause you to distance yourself from intamacy (meaning that it will hurt/delay your sex life which is NOT what he wants).\n\nIf you're at that point in your relationship, just pick a day/time/date where he can touch your chest all he (and you) wants, but that he needs to be a gentlemen the rest of the time.\n\nIf he's a good guy, he'll understand. Then whenever he tried, you remind him of his promise. He'll forget quickly, but learn eventually.
255605
Tell him to not tick them off then if he does tick him off so he knows how it feels
1120745
first off, are you comfortable enough to have this conversation with him?  if so, and this might sound funny but it works, tell him to, uh, fire his gun on his own earlier in the day or at the very least the night before.  it will make him less sensitive when he finally does get with you.  also, tell him to focus on your pleasure, not his.  again that sounds funny, but if all he is doing is thinking about not lasting long enough, it will be over before he knows it.  tell him to kiss you , touch you, whatever, but keep his focus on you.  it shouldnt be a race to the finish line, it should be an experience. he may not learn this in one try, but over time he should master his control and be able to please you for as long as he wants.
493710
it sounds like he also annoys the hell out of you! haha.... i've been there...he's in hardcore lust...if your not feeling him, tell him now, waiting makes it worse... but if you do like him and want to keep him, but want him to tone it down a bit...just sit him down and be real with him... thats really the best way to handle it...
775822
It sounds like your guy is putting entirely too much pressure on you which will automatically make you tense and that makes it harder on anyone!! My husband and I had this problem early on in our relationship and we fixed it by communicating!! He was so desperate to make me happy and I was desperate to make him feel like he could that it put too much stress on us. We decided we needed to just relax so we started doing things that would relax us instead of putting all the emphasis on me finishing! Take a hot bath together, if you are of legal drinking age have a glass of wine!! But just remember to relax!!
471676
you will eventually get to where they don't bother you. trust me love is worth a little irritation.every once in a while when you are feeling a little irritable.those little things that bug you now will make you positively bitchy. don't worry no matter who your with they are gonna do something that bugs you. if you love this guy. show him you want him even though he can drive you bananas sometimes.
1164160
Nope.  Frankly, I'm the same way.  My gf let me know it bothers her, so, I'm trying to make adjustments.  But, if you keep asking him, it'll just take longer and make him more irritated, maybe to the point where he can't deal with it anymore.  I'd let him know it bothers you, and leave it.  If he's going to change, he'll do it on his own.
705566
Very definitely let him know how you feel and that you will not tolerate that kind of behavior from him, demand respect.
528905
Be patient and supportive.  Nothing will take the wind out of  his sails like being nice when he is trying to be mean.  It'll make him feel like a jerk so he won't be able to stay angry if he really loves you.
1156328
First of all don't yell back.Try and tell him that the way he talks and yells at you is hurt full.If he is angry ,you yelling back only starts up a bigger conflict.You can only try and talk with him.If he won't get counseling I would say you need to get out of that relationship before you lose your own self esteem and pride.You are human and you don't deserve that kind of treatment. Good Luck to you.