Wat r da funniest yo mama jokes?
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Yo Mama Jokes [collected by Lamda]\n-----------------------------------------\n\n\nYo mama is so ugly:\n\n\nYo mama so ugly when she joined an ugly contest, they said "Sorry, no professionals."\n\nYo mama so ugly she looks out the window and got arrested for mooning.\n\nYo mama so ugly just after she was born, her mother said "What a treasure!" and her father said "Yes, let's go bury it."\n\nYo mama so ugly they push her face into dough to make gorilla cookies.\n\nYo mama so ugly they filmed "Gorillas in the Mist" in her shower\n\nYo mama so ugly they didn't give her a costume when she tried out for Star Wars.\n\nYo mama so ugly instead of putting the bungee cord around her ankle, they put it around her neck\n\nYo mama so ugly she gets 364 extra days to dress up for Halloween.\n\nYo mama so ugly when she walks into a bank, they turn off the surveillence cameras\n\nYo mama so ugly her mom had to be drunk to breast feed her\n\nYo mama so ugly her mom had to tie a steak around her neck to get the dogs to play with her.\n\nYo mama so ugly when she walks down the street in September, people say "Wow, is it Halloween already?"\n\nYo mama so ugly the government moved Halloween to her birthday.\n\nYo mama so ugly that if ugly were bricks she'd have her own projects.\n\nYo mama so ugly they pay her to put her clothes on in strip joints.\n\nYo mama so ugly she made an onion cry.\n\nYo mama so ugly they filmed "Gorillas in the Mist" in her shower!\n\nYo mama so ugly when they took her to the beautician it took 12 hours. . .for a quote!\n\nYo mama so ugly they put her in dough and made monster cookies!\n\nYo mama so ugly she tried to take a bath the water jumped out!\n\nYo mama so ugly she looks out the window and gets arrested!\n\nYo mama so ugly even Rice Krispies won't talk to her!\n\nYo mama so ugly Ted Dansen wouldn't date her!\n\nYo mama so ugly for Halloween she trick or treats on the phone!\n\nYo mama so ugly she turned Medusa to stone!\n\nYo mama so ugly The NHL banned her for life\n\nYo mama so ugly she gets 364 extra days to dress up for Halloween!\n\nYo mama so ugly the government moved Halloween to her birthday!\n\nYo mama so ugly if ugly were bricks she'd have her own projects!\n\nYo mama so ugly they pay her to put her clothes on in strip joints\n\nYo mama so ugly she made an onion cry!\n\nYo mama so ugly people go as her for Halloween.\n\nYo mama so ugly that when she sits in the sand on the beach, cats try to bury her.\n\nYo mama so ugly she scares the roaches away.\n\nYo mama so ugly we have to tie a steak around your neck so the dog will play with her!\n\nYo mama so ugly I heard that your dad first met her at the pound.\n\nYo mama so ugly that if ugly were bricks she'd have her own projects.\n\nYo mama so ugly that your father takes her to work with him so that he doesn't have to kiss her goodbye.\n\n\n---x---\n\n\nYo mama is so stupid:\n\n\nYo mama so stupid it took her 2 hours to watch 60 minutes\n\nYo mama so stupid when she saw the NC-17 (under 17 not admitted) sign, she went home and got 16 friends\n\nYo mama so stupid when your dad said it was chilly outside, she ran outside with a spoon\n\nYo mama so stupid she told everyone that she was "illegitiment" because she couldn't read\n\nYo mama so stupid that she puts lipstick on her head just to make-up her mind\n\nYo mama so stupid she hears it's chilly outside so she gets a bowl\n\nYo mama so stupid you have to dig for her IQ!\n\nYo mama so stupid she got locked in a grocery store and starved!\n\nYo mama so stupid it took her 2 hours to watch 60 Minutes!\n\nYo mama so stupid that she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order!\n\nYo mama so stupid she could trip over a cordless phone!\n\nYo mama so stupid she sold her car for gasoline money!\n\nYo mama so stupid she bought a solar-powered flashlight!\n\nYo mama so stupid she thinks a quarterback is a refun
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Yo mama so old she ran track with dinosaurs.\n\nYo mama so old her birth certificate is in Roman numerals.\n\nYo mama so old when I told her to act her age she died.\n\nYo mama so old when she was in school there was no history class.
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Please visit the following sites :\nhttp://www.ahajokes.com/yo_mama_jokes.html \nhttp://members.tripod.com/donaldchase/jokes/yomamma.html\nhttp://www.humorsphere.com/yo_mama/\nhttp://www.amazinghumor.com/jokes/yomamajokes/\nhttp://www.mommajoke.com/\nhttp://www.aardvarkarchie.com/jokes/yomamma/index.html\n...You'll find all you want !
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Yo momma's so fat that she sat on a rainbow and skittles popped out.\n\nYo momma's so short, she jumped off a curb and committed suicide.\n\nYo momma's so stupid she got hit by a parked car.
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Yo mama so stupid it took her 2 hours to watch 60 minutes\n\nYo mama so stupid when she saw the NC-17 (under 17 not admitted) sign, she went home and got 16 friends\n\nYo mama so stupid when your dad said it was chilly outside, she ran outside with a spoon\n\nYo mama so stupid she told everyone that she was "illegitiment" because she couldn't read\n\nYo mama so stupid that she puts lipstick on her head just to make-up her mind\n\nYo mama so stupid she hears it's chilly outside so she gets a bowl\n\nYo mama so stupid you have to dig for her IQ!\n\nYo mama so stupid she got locked in a grocery store and starved!\n\nYo mama so stupid it took her 2 hours to watch 60 Minutes!\n\nYo mama so stupid that she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order!\n\nYo mama so stupid she could trip over a cordless phone!\n\nYo mama so stupid she sold her car for gasoline money!
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Yeah that is pretty lame! Try some Joke websites. Personally I like Yo momma jokes. No, not b/c I'm ghetto, but b/c they're funny! Anyway, any jokes I could tell you would probably offend SOMEONE out there! (Even the sex jokes.) But if I think of a good clean one, I'll edit it in later.
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Yo mamas so fat, she has to use a boomerang to put her belt on!!
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Yo mama's so fat and old that when God said "Let there be Light", he told her to move her fat ass out of the way.\nYo mama's so fat n black, she jumped in the ocean and they thought she was an oil spill.\nYo mama's so fat that she has TB... two bellies.\nYo mama's so fat, "Place Your Ad Here" is printed on each of her butt cheeks.\nYo mama's so fat, a picture of her fell off the wall!\nYo mama's so fat, after she got off the carousel, the horse limped for a week.\nYo mama's so fat, all of her clothes have to be custom made by a contractor.\nYo mama's so fat, all the chairs in her house have seat belts.\nYo mama's so fat, all the restaurants in town have signs that says: "Maximum Occupancy: 240 Patrons OR Yo Mama"\nYo mama's so fat, and her back is so crooked, when she lays down...people say "I didn't know we had mountains."\nYo mama's so fat, and you're so poor, when she comes in your house the tires pop.\nYo mama's so fat, at the zoo, the elephants started throwing her peanuts.\nYo mama's so fat, but I fucked her anyway.\nYo mama's so fat, Dr. Martens had to kill 3 cows just to make her a pair of shoes.\nYo mama's so fat, even God couldn't raise her spirits.\nYo mama's so fat, even her shadow has stretch marks.\nYo mama's so fat, even Richard Simmons laughs at her.\nYo mama's so fat, every time she wears high heels, she strikes oil.\nYo mama's so fat, God created her, and on the seventh day he rested.\nYo mama's so fat, her ass has it's own congressman.\nYo mama's so fat, her ass looks like two pigs fighting over a milk dud.\nYo mama's so fat, her belly button doesn't have lint, it has sweaters.\nYo mama's so fat, her belly jiggle is the first ever perpetual motion machine.\nYo mama's so fat, her belt size is the equator.\nYo mama's so fat, her blood type is Ragu.\nYo mama's so fat, her blood type is rocky-road.\nYo mama's so fat, her car is made of spandex.\nYo mama's so fat, her car is made out of spandex.\nYo mama's so fat, her cereal bowl came with a lifeguard.\nYo mama's so fat, her college graduation picture was an aerial.\nYo mama's so fat, her driver's license says "Picture continued on other side."\nYo mama's so fat, her favorite blouse is a tent.\nYo mama's so fat, her nickname is "Damn."\nYo mama's so fat, her picture takes two frames.\nYo mama's so fat, her skates went flat.\nYo mama's so fat, her tailor takes her measurements in light years.\nYo mama's so fat, her yearbook picture is an aerial.\nYo mama's so fat, I gain weight just by watching her eat.\nYo mama's so fat, I gotta take three steps back just to see all of her.\nYo mama's so fat, I had to roll over twice to get off of her.\nYo mama's so fat, I had to take a train and two busses just to get on her good side.\nYo mama's so fat, I ran around her twice and got lost.\nYo mama's so fat, I saw a picture of her in a magazine on page 4, 5, 6, 7, and 8.\nYo mama's so fat, I saw her in New York, and when I told my friend in LA, he'd seen her too.\nYo mama's so fat, I shot the bitch and Crisco came out.\nYo mama's so fat, if she got her shoes shined, she'd have to take his word for it!\nYo mama's so fat, if she wears fishnet stockings, they'd better be 50 pound test!\nYo mama's so fat, if she weighed five more pounds, she could get group insurance!\nYo mama's so fat, if she were an airplane, she'd be a jumbo jet.\nYo mama's so fat, instead of Levi's 501 jeans, she wears Levi's 1002's.\nYo mama's so fat, instead of wide leg jeans, she wears wide load.\nYo mama's so fat, I've got to tell two snaps just to cover her fat ass.\nYo mama's so fat, Jenny Craig did a credit check.\nYo mama's so fat, last time she went to Sea World Shamu got a ha
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I would put yo mama to shame...But I fear you'd report me...BTW I like your pic
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Yo mama so nasty you asked her what was for dinner and she pulled down her pants and said Crabs.\n\nYo mama is so fat her blood type is Ragu\n\nYo mama is so ugly she made Ray Charles Flinch\n\nYo mama so stupid she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death
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Yo Momma is so stupid she climbed over a clear glass wall just to see what was on the other side.\n\n Yo Momma is so poor when she was kicking one of those empty cans down the street, I walked up to her and asked, "What are you doing?" She replied, "I'm movin'!"\n\n Yo Momma is so dumb she took a spoon to the superbowl.\n\n Yo Momma is so fat that when she jumped into the air and got stuck. \n\n Yo Momma is so fat that when she jumped into the ocean to go diving, the whales came up to her singing, "We are family! Even though you're bigger than me!"\n\n Yo Momma is so fat that when she went to Japan the Sumo Wrestlers came around to her shouting, "We are family, sister!"\n\n Yo Momma is so ugly that when she went to go enter the yearly Ms. Ugly Halloween pagent, the judges said, "Sorry, ma'am. No professionals allowed."\n\nHow is that? Appropriate.
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fat momma jokes always go over well, except when it's yo momma. just work on your delivery.
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Oh yes I have yo mamma jokes....here's some\n\nYo mama so stupid she tripped over a cordless phone.\n\n\nYo mama is so fat, that the back of her neck looks like a package of hot dogs.\n\nYo mama's so fat, when she ran away, they had to use all four sides of the milk carton\n\n\nHope u like them
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Yo mama has\nYo mama has one leg and a bicycle.\n\nYo mama has 4 eyes and 2 pair of sunglasses.\n\nYo mama has so much hair on her upper lip, she braids it.\n\nYo mama has one hand and a Clapper.\n\nYo mama has green hair and thinks she's a tree.\n\nYo mama has one ear and has to take off her hat to hear what you're saying.\n\nYo mama has 10 fingers--all on the same hand.\n\nYo mama has a glass eye with a fish in it.\n\nYo mama has a short leg and walks in circles.\n\nYo mama has a short arm and can't applaude.\n\nYo mama has so many freckles she looks like a hamburger!\n\nYo mama has three fingers and a banjo.\n\nYo mama has a wooden leg with a kickstand on it.\n\nYo mama has a bald head with a part and sideburns.\n\nYo mama has a wooden leg with branches.\n\nYo mama has so many teeth missing, it looks like her tounge is in jail.
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Ya mamas so fat she drives a spandex car.\nYa mamas breath smells so bad the ice cream man gave her a listerine popsicle.\nYa mamas so dumb she tried to wake up a sleeping bag.\nYa mama has 11 fingers and 15 toes and still can't count to 26.\nYa mamas boobs are so saggy they have rugburns.\nYa mamas so fat she uses two greyhound busses for roller skates.
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This joke goes back so far, that back then, when the doctors were practicing medicine, they were PRACTICING!!\n\nSecond opinion:  Yo momma is still dirt ugly !!
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Yo mama so fat she left the house in high heels and when she came back she had on flip flops.\n\nYo mama so fat she went to KFC to get a bucket of chicken they asked her what size and she said the one on the roof \n\n\n\nYo mama so fat that when I ran out of gas trying to drive around her.\n\nYo mama so fat shes on both sides of the family\n\nYo mama so fat you have to grease the door frame and hold a twinkie on the other side just to get her through\n\nYo mama so fat sets off car alarms when she runs.\n\nYo mama so fat she lays on the beach and greenpeace tried to push her back in the water\n\nYo mama so fat the only pictures you have of her are satellite pictures\n\nYo mama so fat she jumped in the air and got stuck.\n\nYo mama so fat she put on some BVD's and by the time they reached her waist they spelled out boulevard.\n\nYo mama so fat she stepped on a rainbow and made Skittles.\n\nYo mama so fat that she would have been in E.T., but when she rode the bike across the moon, she caused an eclipse.\n\nYo mama so fat she was baptised in the ocean.\n\nYo mama so fat she has to iron her clothes in the driveway.\n\nYo mama so fat they tie a rope around her shoulders and drag her through a tunnel when they want to clean it.\n\nYo mama so fat when she got hit by a bus, she said, "Who threw that rock?"\n\nYo mama so fat when she stands in a left-turn lane it gives her the green arrow!\n\nYo mama so fat that when whe was born, she gave the hospital stretch marks.\n\nYo mama so fat we went to the drive-in and didn't have to pay because we dressed her as a Chevrolet.\n\nYo mama so fat when her beeper goes off, people thought she was backing up\n\nYo mama so fat she eats Wheat Thicks.\n\nYo mama so fat were in her right now\n\nYo mama so fat people jog around her for exercise\n\nYo mama so fat she went to the movies and sat next to everyone\n\nYo mamma so fat you haveta roll over twice to get off her...\n\nYo mama so fat she was floating in the ocean and Spain claimed her for then new world\n\nYo mama so fat when you get on top of her your ears pop!\n\nYo mama so fat when she wears a yellow raincoat, people said "Taxi!"\n\nYo mama so fat she had to go to Sea World to get baptized\n\nYo mama so fat she got to iron her pants on the driveway\n\nYo mama so fat she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller\n\nYo mama so fat she got to pull down her pants to get into her pockets\n\nYo mama so fat when she tripped over on 4th Ave, she landed on 12th\n\nYo mama so fat when she bungee jumps, she brings down the bridge too\n\nYo mama so fat the highway patrol made her wear "Caution! Wide Turn"\n\nYo mama so fat when she sits around the house, she SITS AROUND THE HOUSE!\n\nyo mama so fat that when she got into the ocean Thailand declared another tsunami. please"\n\n\n\nYo mama so fat when she steps on a scale, it read "one at a time, please"\n\n\nYo mama so fat when she sits on my face I can't hear the stereo.\n\nYo mama so fat she fell in love and broke it.\n\nYo mama so fat when she gets on the scale it says to be continued.\n\nYo mama so fat when she gets on the scale it says we don't do livestock.\n\nYo mama so fat her neck looks like a pair of hot dogs!\n\nYo mama so fat she's got her own area code!\n\nYo mama so fat she looks like she's smuggling a Volkswagon!\n\nYo mama so fat when God said let there be light, he asked her to move out of the way\n\n\nYo mama is so fat that when she sits on the toilet it starts saying a,b,c,d,e,f,g,get your fat ass off of me \n\n\nYo mama so fat the only time she saw 90210 is when she stepped on a scale\n\n\n\nYo mama so fat NASA has to orbit a satellite around her!\n\nYo mama so fat whenever she goes to the beach the tide comes in!\n\nYo mama so fat when she plays hopscotch, she goes New York, L.A., Chicago...\n\nYo mama so fat she's got Amtrak written on her leg.\n\nYo mama so fat even Bill Gates couldn't pay for her liposuction!