Empty Nest Syndrome! Need help fast!???
408760
Hi...well, I'm NOT looking forward to being where you are...I've spent the last 9 years as a single mom!  My youngest is 17, but good news is 21 year old daughter is moving home, but just for a year, til her husband gets back from second deployment in Iraq (he's US Navy) and they settle in their own house here.\n\nI started watching English football here (soccer), so I now have a pub I go to and watch it with the guys (I'm the only woman who is interested!) on those rare evenings I find myself alone.  I know people can tell you about hobbies, and crafts, gardening, etc., but what about volunteering at say, the local hospice center, or the hospital, or even your local elementary school?  These types of organizations always need help, and the benefits of helping are their own rewards!  Or you can do what I love to do when I have free time for myself...and that's go exploring...  I don't know where you live, but I am in Jacksonville, Florida, and there are so many places around here to see and enjoy, like St. Augustine, or the zoo, or just traveling down the Intracoastal Waterway highway for a change of scenery.  I also love going downtown to the city's center and just window shopping, stopping for a bit of lunch, and a cup of coffee at an outdoor cafe.  I also have a list of junk/antique stores in the area, and try to visit one after the other on days when my time is free and home chores are done (and the girls are gone).\n\nAnyway...I've got a very adventuresome spirit...and I'm sure  you do too, considering you're a novelist.  Oh how I envy you...I've written stories all my life, and been published on the web, but I've yet to sit down and do what I love doing, writing just to complete a project!  Good luck...and most of all, HAVE FUN DOING IT! :)
617637
The secret to a tidy and therefore calm ambience around the home is to have a place for everything and everything in its place.  Out of sight for utensils, clothing and paperwork is a very good start.  However, don't just push everything into cupboards, go buy some storage boxes etc so you can access things when you need them quickly. Go on to websites that explain how to get the minimalist look and good feng shui ideas.  Less really is more for a peaceful atmosphere.  You may have to change your habits if you are to maintain a tidy calm looking home, but give it a go and see if it makes you feel better :)
106237
I am a neat person except when it comes to my room!I am so bad about it that when I do decide to do it it takes forever!So trust me on this!Make a list!!!Write out unspecific things-like around bed-then do around your bed- make bed- under bed but everything you pick up has to go where it should be!If it isn't in reach,make piles(i always have a make-up pile, clothes pile, jewelry pile,GET RID OF PILE!ect.)The trick to not taking forever is playing music that gets you pumped rediculously loud.And get rid of things!Things that just lay around that you never use can go to good-will or other charities like that.So you get your room clean,listen to great music,and help others.Doesn't sound so bad huh?!
1104355
I have a few tips that you may be able to use.\n \nIf there is new home construction going on in your area, ask around to see if the builders have any leftovers. Sometimes you can get bits and pieces of sheet rock, linoleum, tiles, etc. The builders usually just toss the leftovers in a dumpster, as they don't have enough of the items to complete another house or it's not what was ordered for the next home they are working on.
705026
I am sorry you are so sad and I know that God holds each moment of saddness in His hands..\nYou know I will keep you in my prayers. I know this may not be what you want to hear , but you are so Blessed! I am also alone, I have been for over 2 years. However , do you have any idea how quiet and lonley it is each night and to awake every morning... For who? Myself! God planned all of this and did not ask me first!!!\nYou are blessed with not 1 but 3 children! In each of them you can find your wife and I know that God has a plan to send them a new Mom to help out, just give it some time... \nWhen you are alone and feeling sad, just think and know..There is a woman in South Alabama that feels just as lonley! And she don`t have 3 children to fill the empty space.. That someone is me.. My name is Susan
1048127
Yes zool, sometimes I feel very sad and loney too.  My marriage of 27 years broke up about 3 yars ago.  Then I met someone, fell in love and got engaged.  He died last September.  Since then I can't seem to "find my place."  You know, where I belong.  I moved to another state but feel like I need to go back where I came from because my children and grandchildren are there.  What is making you feel sad and lonely?  You can email me at watsoq9@yahoo.com if you like.
288524
What would *I* do?  I'd take the kids somewhere safe (and our bags, because we're leaving at this point), be sure to p*ss him off real good when he comes home, have an all-out brawl in the living room, and after I've made my point, go to a good shelter.\nIf you're in this situation, and you wonder what I think YOU should do...  I think you should get in touch with your local police station, any churches, social services, etc., and find out how to contact your local womens' shelter.  Call them, and ask if they have room for you and the kids.  If they don't, get a list of other places nearby (we have 5 or so within 2 hours of here), and call them too.  If they do, only pack what you will need, and the childrens' favorites, and get gone.  Don't worry about food and clothes and toiletries if you're in a particular hurry, because they have TONS of that stuff donated all the time, and it's in storage.  If there's something you need that they don't have, they'll get it (like special formula for babies, etc.)\n\nI've stayed in a shelter like this.  They're great.  If you need to get out, do it.  Before he kills you, or he drives you crazy enough to kill him.
1059849
i know how you feel.  except mine is a 3 year old tantrum king!  spouse is deployed and we're far from home so i feel your pain...almost like being a single parent.  i enrolled him in a day program.  i feel like such a better parent when i see him.  i have a chance to miss him.  he is soooo feisty and just an all around boy he drives me nuts so having him burn his energy for 4 hours a day and then coming home...he's nice and relaxed and doesn't fight me when it's bed time.   also, you probably heard the saying.....terrible 2's, horrible 3's......lol
584847
why are you living there in the first place???\n\nsounds like you have a problem.\n\nfirst, you should be grateful to them for giving you a place to live.\n\nsecond, you should get your stuff and try to find a relative or family member you can stay with.\n\nthird, eat crow and apologize to his family and ask for their forgiveness, if you were being a brat at THEIR house.\n\ntake care
806365
Why not contact your area Social Services Department (look on the internet for Thompson Local, Yellow Pages, www.yell.com) for telephone number) who can put you into contact with all sorts of different group and organisations.  It's not nice when you feel isolated.  \n\nI wish you well my friend.  Kind regards Linda.
895292
Hi passionate person!!!  : )\n\nI can understand your mindset - me and my son(26 months old) are your kinds. In fact i even get bored of my husband many times coz he just cant keep up with us. We keep looking to do something interesting every day.\n\nMy suggestions for you - join different classes but short time ones don't take the longer ones. Try to do and think what you want to do everyday or even better don't think in advance. Think when you are in the situation and see what you can do interesting . If you are at home then try to rearrange your house from top to bottom - or may be one room a day. Try to bring new ideas,experiment with different colors,materials,designs all this but with nothing new - just with whatever you have at home,with you. Take it as a challenge and rake your brain(this is just an example). By doing this you are completely occupied, you are happy with the results and tired for the day and this is just for a day and tomorrow you need to think again something new and innovative.\nYou can try different things at all the places and at any time. If you are bored try playing memory games,try to play with words and see how you can link those words to any activity or even try your hand in writing something using those words.\nLook around. Have your eyes and ears wide open and keep searching for "what i can do next with what is available around me"That should be your challenge.\nHappy inventing!!!
77990
one box/drawer at a time, get a routine going as far as cleaning house. Do two loads of laundry a day,this way you never get behind. throw out or donate anything you don't use anymore. WALK...everyday!! get up early and go walking(take the dog/or a friend), be home before the kids are off to school. Plus you will have lots of energy the rest of the day.Make a list everynite of what you want to accomplish the next day and STICK to it!! Good Luck...You can do this!! =)
205717
Stay busy! Find new things to occupy you in your new home instead of doing the same things thereby bringing back memories that might cause you to compare the two and cause you to miss home. Step out of your comfort zone and be the first to speak if you meet someone new, like a neighbor or co-worker or someone at the gym. Become involved in community service, because the quickest way to take the focus off yourself and your own problems is to focus on helping someone else. It also gives you a sense of belonging and makes you feel you have a place in your new "world." I'm new to my area -20 miles south of Philadelphia- so I know where you are coming from, but I've built a busy, happy life for myself and I only go home with I really miss family back in VA. The key for me is staying busy!
263908
First of all it is selfish grammer to say me and my, you say my boyfriend and I, don't talk about yourself first. Second if you don't know how to communicate with her, you do not come off as ready to leave the nest.  Why not have the boy get his own place and visit him there often but keep your home base.  Keep the best of two worlds, after all you have never lived with a man before, you have not lived on your own.  If I were you I would test this guy and see if he is man enough to stand on his own.  You should crave to have your own little place someday, a dorm room or even just a room for rent.  Your freedom time may be short and sweet but don't miss out on this interval between mom's place and your first and side step your independence.  You will look back one day and regret not taking time for yourself.  Enjoy being independent of him, enjoy being his guest, help him with his place but keep filling your own hope chest.  I am financially independent, I have so many houses I don't know what to do.  I could not marry without a prenup.  You have so much ahead, don't piss mom off at all.  Take it to heart.  She is your number one.  Ask her what you should do instead of being a little tyrant and telling her what your going to do.  Unless of course your of age that is, 18 and you don't have anything better to do with your life.  But now you can save money staying with mom.  Stay free.
685941
Wow! That is a tough situation and I have been through it myself with 3 children. I have to tell you that it is extremely hard but I got through it. I recently remarried after being divorced for 7 yrs. Do you have friends or family to depend on? I had very little support. How old is your child? Will he/she need daycare while you work or go to school? There are lots of programs with community colleges for single moms. Contact the Attorney General in your state and immediately get child support. Go to your local DHS and apply for low income housing if needed and any other services you qualify for....even day care for low income while you work or go to school. Go to community colleges and ask what programs they have for single moms with low income...some have daycare on site. Libraries have free classes for office/computer skills. Research different careers you would be happy with. Most of all, take good care of yourself by eating right,sleeping enough and having some me time because you can't be a good parent if you don't take care of yourself.You could also get a single mom room mate and split the bills and child care. Hope this helps you!
797553
First thing, you need to take care of your self!  Moving and having to take care a baby in extremely nerve wrecking.\nCan anyone just take the baby out for a couple of hours and let your self pack, write on the boxes where everything goes, and do one area at a time, and remember, take a long hot bath, and exercise and eat right, not alot of junk.\nmake a list of to do, and get a friend to help you wiht the packing.\nuse clothing and linen to wrap the breakables, and when moving day comes, have everything ready to move out, paper plates everything, have your fridge already empty except the drinks and little food and snacks and have a cooler ready with ice for the little stuff.  Throw away all the old maynoise, mustard and etc.\nclean the back rooms first, baths, and you can use shampoos for cleaning out the tubs and etc.\nvacuum when everything out, and spackle sanded the walls for holes, and make sure no stains!  tooth paste makes perfect cleaner for stains on the counters and etc.\nMost of all don't yell at your help, have a pizza moving party for friends to help out.  And yes Please ask for Help!  Not demand for help.  Most of all don't strke out on your spouse, he is just a stressful as you are, and he is only focus on one thing, and looking for you as women, our mind are like a spider web of multtasking, and he is looking for your guidance.  That is where he is going to see your strength and wisdom and he is going to appriacte that very much.  Always make sure the baby is taken care of for a while, or even go to Grandparents house for the moving till things get situated, I am sure the grandparents would love to spend time with their grandbaby.\nyou take care.
749311
one night you should tell him to take it easy, and you should cook like your favorite meal, and then pop the question.....make it a speech tell him "He's my homemaker, housewife and my everything when I get home from a long day of work. I manage a large portion of a company and have just recently been too sick to function. He has nursed me and been by my side the entire time, never leaving me for more than a few minutes at a time (he has to shower and go to the bathroom afterall.) We're a solid foundation together, and now that I'm feeling better (and I have a ring).. I want to do it." its very much from the heart i can tell, good luck sweety with everything and congrats on the baby!!