how can i stop my wife from abusing drugs and alcohol?
414261
First of all, allow me to share my sympathy for you and your wife. I can tell that you’re a caring person and that’s part of maintaining a stable relationship for any period of time. From what I’ve gathered from your story, it seems that you truly care a whole lot about your wife and what could happen if this problem is not stopped, and you need advice handling the issue. \nSecondly, if you stop caring for her she will only get worse. People that become addicted to drugs and alcohol usually have their reasons behind the substance abuse. Since this all started before you came along, you must talk to her and find out when she started abusing drugs and why. She needs to know that you care and love her. I suggest calling a drug abuse councilor and scheduling an appointment with her to get the help that she needs. Don’t let her start a program and quit, you must encourage her in every way possible and keep an eye out for symptoms of withdraws/cravings from substance so she wont be in a situation where she has no control.\nI’m 18 years old but have had psychical addictions to pills since I was about 12. Amphetamines (adderall) are dangerous and it took a really special friend to show me I was killing myself and letting my family down every day. Finally I got off of everything and remain clean for the last 5 months or so. But back to your wife, I really wish you and her the best of luck and PLEASE feel FREE to contact me with ANY questions, comments, or to ask my opinion! Hope to hear back, please inform me how everything goes!\nwebmaster@techbrian.com
1044019
You can't. She has to want to stop herself. You can talk to her, support her, try to find help for her, love her, encourage her. But you cannot make her stop.
1000512
Give him the option to get help for his addiction and return home, or file for divorce.  He will continue to treat you like crap if you let him.  good luck!
33677
Wow that is a tough situation to be and I know several in that same boat. Whether it is alcohol or pot or other illegal substances, the decision is only his to stop. The thing to do for yourself, assuming you are not using,is to go to get counseling see if your spouse is willing, though I have heard they very seldom tell the truth about what they do or especially how much. If it is hurting your relationship then maybe it is time to communicate this to him. I wish I could offer more. I feel for you. Good luck
948691
the first thing you need to do is pray, and ask God to guide you and give you direction on a sound thing to do. your second good thing was asking for help from your yahoo family. Talk to your mate and remind him in order to stay clean you must stay away from people, places, and things that relate to your old drug habits. Next you should try and remind him that these were the same friend that were with him in his addiction and three years later they are still there. Have him to revisit his past mentally, than look at his present too see how far God has brought him. Lastly, stay supportive he may be at a vulnerable point in his life, try to help keep him focused and away from the bad influences. Sometimes we do not see out of the corners of our eyes that something may be approaching, that is why you walk by his side. keep your head up and your eyes open.
201876
You cant and you shouldnt have done that in the first place. Thats called adultry and your wife can devorce you for everything that your worth for that. So break it off now with her.
398072
Yes my wife who's an alcoholic. I tried eveything and more to make her happy and nothing worked and it's left me heartbroken. I've sacrificed everything for her.
147877
Been there...don’t let the situation fester. You should go alone and work on your issues first(we all have them). You can not make her, or anyone, do something they don’t want to do. She will see that you are serious, making an effort and a commitment. You will learn how to ask her in a way that she would be willing to start going. Be a leader and take the 1st step. Besides it may take a few attempts to find a counselor that you like and trust. It may be helpful to find a female as your wife may feel less threatened. It worked for me and my wife. Good luck.
102708
wait, are you trying to marry her, or date and have a sexual relationship with her. If it is the first point, don't do it man. Marriages are expensive and will always end in divorce or unhappiness. Save yo money and buy an old school cadillac with 24's instead. If its the part about sexual relationship, tell her she gives you action in the pants, and that she needs to stop selling drugs to kids. That is not cool, man!
284627
Try counseling first if you want to stay together.  If she can't quit leave her unless you like it.
977109
Bryan, Don't buy her anything.  Shower her with undivided attention.  Shut off the T.V., unplug the phone, ship the kids off to the grandparents house and LISTEN to her.  Talk to her, touch her just for the sake of wanting to be close to her. Kiss her and put your hands on her every meaningful part of her body that you ignore for the rest of the year.  The back of her knee, her elbow, behind her ear, the nape of her neck.  Offer her a sex free massage and revel in the feel, smell, and sight of your wife.  Draw her a bath and scrub her from head to toe.  Paint her toenails.  Cuddle with her and tell her how much she means to you every single day.  \nA woman wants not for a gift wrapped up in pretty paper, to be torn, used, and placed aside.  Your wife is your present--are YOU her most desired gift?
448585
I am sorry to say you can't. The only one that can make them stop is the person who is addicted. I know this from personal experience, I am addicted to cocaine--I haven't used in over a year, but even though I am clean I am not foolish enough to think that I can ever use again. Once an addict always an addict. I don't know who the person that you are referring too is, whether it be you or someone you love, I just wish you all the best because addiction in any form is very hard to overcome--but remember it CAN be done--I am proof of this. Good luck to you and God bless.
451228
Just press charges against her.  Have her arrested.  and Maybe see a divorce lawyer if you don't see no future with her
645445
Unfortunately the beaten wife syndrome has got a hold on her.  Its very sad to see these women who do this on a regular basis.  But they are the only ones who can change this.  Sure, you could have your buddies whoop on him, but then you are lowering to his level.  Until she realizes that she needs to make a change, this will continue.  Some women never get it and end up dead.  Maybe suggest that she go and see a counselor about it.  Then once they are no longer together, Have 6 of your Buddies kick the shyt out of him.
439122
Yup, ask her to do it outside and when you are not home. Thats what my husband does (I dont like him to smoke around me either).
700657
If she really is a drug addict take her to court and get full custody of the kids. Then you can just rid of her. A judge won't allow kids to be raised by a drug addict. If she went throiugh treatment to get better, she could get to see them again. I would recommend doing what's best for the children.
710209
From my own experience, I say go and get a better life, as you only have 1 life to live. You try and try, until you spin your wheels.\n\nI was married to a guy for 13 years and we had 3 kids.  He drank every day, and our life was hell.  Life goes on, and now I have a wonderful husband, and we've been married for 15 years.  I bailed and it turned out good.   I went to counseling and Alanon befe I made my decision.  You may find someone wonderful.\n\nThe best thing you can do when dealing with an alcoholic spouse is to detach from the abuse of the alcoholic. You can do this if you truly love your spouse and want to help them to possible sobriety. The more you focus all your energies on the alcoholic, the less likely he is to get sober. This article focuses on how you can detach and remain healthy mentally.\n\nDon’t Make Alcoholism Your Problem\n\nIf you have never read any of the Al-anon material then you probably don’t know that you are making the disease of alcoholism YOUR problem. One of the sad facts of living with an alcoholic is we become just as mentally and emotionally sick as the alcoholic. This happens because every step of life we take, and every breath of air we breathe has some involvement with the alcoholic. Our emotions overtake our own mental health as we try and cope with the deterioration of the alcoholic in our life. What are we doing wrong? We are concentrating too much on the disease, instead of concentrating on our mental and emotional health. We may as well be tipping the bottle for them. Better yet, we may as well be drinking with them!\n\nDon’t Enable\n\nMost spouses of alcoholics don’t realize they are helping their spouse drink just by a few simple behaviors and actions. Several ways in which you may be enabling your spouse to drink is by buying them alcohol, drinking with them, calling the boss and or family members for him because he is too hung over or too drunk to do it himself. Lying to friends, boss, family and co-workers about him and his drinking problem. Taking them to the store, arguing with them, and behaving like a victim. You are not the victim of alcoholism until you make yourself BEcome the victim.\n\nGet Off The Pity Pot\n\nGet off of the pity pot and begin living for yourself, instead of living for the alcoholic. “Oh poor me, everyday I am suffering and I can’t take it anymore” attitude won’t get you anywhere. You need to take care of yourself and that cannot be done if you are focusing all of your attention on the alcoholic and what he is doing or what he isn’t doing. Start focusing on what you can do for yourself. Get out of the house, don’t hang around the alcoholic, and don’t let them abuse you with their words. If you care about the alcoholic in your life, this is what helps them more than anything else.\n\nDetach With Love\n\nYou are powerless to getting your loved one to stop drinking. The first step in being able to detach is by realizing that the shenanigans of the alcoholic is not your problem. Don’t try and fix their messes for them. Not only does this enable them to continue drinking, but also it justifies their drinking. Don’t have any interaction with the alcoholic while they are drinking; that includes, talking and arguing with them. Why fuss and fight with someone who has lost the ability to make any sense? Don’t become ensnared in the alcoholic trap with them. Stay out of the trap, so you can help them. Ninety-five percent of what an alcoholic says is manipulative and hogwash anyway. Don’t start believing in the lies of the disease. Separate yourself from the antics of the alcoholic.\nhttp://www.mayoclinic.com/health/alcoholism/DS00340\nhttp://www.mayoclinic.com/health/bipolar-disorder/AN00920\nhttp://www.maricopa.gov/benefits/pdf/AA/Living_with_Alcoholic.pdf\nhttp://www.connexions-direct.com/index.cfm?pid=152&catalogueContentID=420\nhttp://web4health.info/en/answers/add-living-with-an-alcoholic.htm\nhttp://www.dooyoo.co.uk/archive-lif