what woulld you do if you have a husband who is addicted to drugs?
408472
I would certainly get help from the organizations that offer help. You must go and seek help even if the husband does not (or cannot) go. YOU must go and find out what CAN be done to save your marriage,your family, your life!You have to make up your mind that you have had ENOUGH the "lifestyle" of a drug user! MAKE UP YOUR MIND AND THEN MAKE A MOVE!
1102406
You really have to talk to him about it  nicely!it's a really serious matter!even though I believe that if he really is on drugs you don't just suspect it you know it!
446732
Be the best mom I can be. Find a good man to be his daddy. 'Cause his real daddy is a drug addicted loser. Take care of his needs. Make him the happiest little boy on the planet.
1159587
I am a former meth addict and let me tell you he will only stop when he is ready. I had to lose my apt,job and end up on the street before I was ready to quit. There is help out there its called "Crystal Meth Anonymas"  a 12 step program that has meetings all over the country for people addicted to meth. Go to there website Crystal Meth Anonymous.com to find ameeting in your area. Its free and it could save your friends life it saved mine.
369232
You have to tell him he needs to go to a gambling support group and get help he has a problem and you will NOT marry him like that it will ruin your life.  its a sickness just like alcoholism and drug addiction and some day you might find yourself homeless not being able to feed your children because your husband lost everything in a game.\n\nJust be happy you found this out before the wedding and lay it all out to him the gambling stops or you are gone he has to choose if he loves you like he says he will want to do whatever it takes to keep you\n\nBut whatever you do dont marry him till he is clean of gambling for atleast a year
313472
i found out that he is an addict, and i stayed continually looking for a the bigger picture, when he was gonna stop and we could be a happy family. But it's an open, ongoing lie. Truth is he's not ready to stop and i've wasted all this time with him. i love him but I am suffering the consequences now for HIS addiction.
166664
The heroin addict that I loved quit before I met him. He never went back to shooting up but he always had other things that he was addicted to. He just switched from one addiction to another. Cigaretts, and cokes, sex and perversions, weed (not that i think that it is addictive but it was one for him), perscription meds that he would use in three days and lie to the doctor to get more, meth and whippits. and many more things......... I am sorry that you are hurting over this person that is addicted to such a powerful drug (that person is lucky to have you caring for them) I dont really know any thing about your situation but if this is not a relative you should consider moveing on with your life......still continue to warn them and becon them to quit but ..... if this is your boyfriend or girlfriend please get out now, distantce yourself, you cant do them any good if you are absorbed in the situation
232133
I would suggest that they speak to a drug counsellor. Alternatively, you might want to speak with a drug counsellor yourself to see what they might suggest. If there are others in your family concerned about him, you might want to have a meeting with them and see what you can do.\n\nI would talk with him and say that you are prepared to help if he decides that he needs to get off the drugs.  Above all, you should speak to him honestly, openly, consistently and listening to his concerns - it sounds like you are doing this.
612381
i must agree with Andy.when people are under the influence of drugs they are unable to properly prioritize. in his mind there is nothing that comes before the need to get high. and until he makes up his mind to do something about it there is nothing that u can do except get tough! don't be an enabler by allowing him to be in and out of your life at his convenience. since he has chosen drugs, you hafta choose your child and your sanity and leave him alone until he has gone through a program and ATLEAST 6 months of sobriety. \np.s. remember that even if he does get clean, he will ALWAYS be an addict. consider that before u allow him back into your life.
925509
Rehab, you need to be away from the situation entireley to get clean.  He needs to go someplace away from home for a few weeks or months, however long it takes.  Lots of rehab places will work with you on payments.  He did not even begin to try to detox.  Trying for 3 days is a waste.  He needs to go and stay there until he's well again.  As for after he gets out of rehab, Narcotics Anonymous is nationwide and has helped many people stay off drugs like that.
94649
First off let me say that lilred should refrain from answering questions that obviously have never been dealt with in her personal life, secondly, the only way you will get clean and stay clean is if you really want it.  Alot are saying rehab, that isnt always the way for everyone, my husband currently is not in rehab nor does he attend any 12 step meetings.  He has chosen however to attend a bible study every thursday, have coffee afterwards with a good christian friend of ours and read spiritual books and follow the 12 steps his own way. He currently has been clean off crack,weed and alcohol for over a year now. In closing let me say again that you must really be sincere about getting clean in order to do it, and noone can tell you what the best way to do that is, you must find yourway.  Maybe rehab, maybe church, maybe detox, only you will know what will keep you clean.  Start looking into diffrent things and find what works for you.  GOOD LUCK  GOD BLESS!!!!!!
199139
I am a recovering addict that thought that getting married would solve my problem. Honestly- many guys become addicted, but society tells them that it is no big deal, all the other guys do it. Society tells them that MB is no big deal and everyone does it. Some men (and even some women) become addicted. Many of them think that once they get married and can 'have the real thing almost anytime' that the problem will just go away. Well for some it might but for many it doesn't. I did not marry my wife because I wanted her to fix my addiction (I didn't even consider it an addiction at the time)- but I thought that once I got married my urge to look at porn and mb would just go away. When it didn't, I spent a lot of time convincing myself that it really was not a big deal (and found plenty of sites like this one with people saying I shouldn't worry about it). I even started to think that my wife was the one with the problem, she should just relax and not get so uptight. \n\nLet me tell you how it affected me. The more I used- the more I became frustrated with my wife, and the less I tried to connect with her in any way other then sexually. I was not there for her in any way shape or form- emotionally, spiritually, and as a friend. I think she could sense that and it caused my marriage to discentegrate. She became frustrated with me and I needed an outlet and the cycle just kept getting wose. \n\nIt is a big deal. He may or may not be addicted- you can't tell at this point because you don't know if he has tried to quit. You do need to confront him for your and his sake. I suppose there are some people out there that can keep it under control- keep it from getting wosre but I guarantee that there are many who don't realize what it is doing to them as a person, and that they are getting worse. \n\nI can absolutly tell you that once I quit (after getting help - I couldn't quit on my own)- that my relationship with my wife improved drastically. You don't really know how much more sweat and wonderful your husband could be if he didn't use porn, because he has probably had this problem for as long as you have know him. I will guarantee you that if he abandons it he will be able to be there for you so much better then he is now. A man cannot look at that stuff and not have it affect his opinion of women, he cannot consume it regularly and not have it effect his ability to connect with people. It is distorting his perspective of women, it is distorting his perspective of intimacy, and it is keeping him from reaching his true potential. I am way more in tune with my wife's needs now that I have abandoned it.  \n\nI will tell you I am forever greatful that my wife didn't just let me have that vice (EG:She didn't let me keep living beneath myself). I am so glad that she was willing to be vulnerable enough to let me see how it really affected her, how it really hurt her. I am also glad that she gave me the chance to change my behavior, and that she was patient with me while I went through some relapses. She was also very open with me and didn't let me think that relapses were ok, she didn't let me keep giving her excuses. I had been trying to abandon it for years, and she finally came to a point where she left me because I was not really getting better. When she did, I finally 'hit rock bottom' and got serious about getting help. I made some dramatic progress toward recovery because I really did love her and did want to abandon the addiction and when she finally made it clear that I couldn't have both- I decided to choose her! (I sincerely believe she did not do this as a manipulation- but that she had finally hit a point where she just couldn't live with a man who kept emotionally cheating on her, and was not able to be there for her).  \n\n\nIn my opinion, the best thing to do is to be very clear and honest about how his decision to consume porn makes you feel
109386
There's no easy answer to this, since there are no (well know) support groups or studies on this newer subject.\n\nI would start by reading up on addictions of any sort - no, he's not addicted to drugs or alcohol, but the understanding of why a person gets addicted in the first place might help.  \n\nAn intervention might help, especially if he's living with you.  Also a psychologist that speciallizes in addicion.  It'll probably be a new one to them, if you can get your son to see them, but it should help.  \n\nTough love could help as well.  He can't play video games if he's living in a homeless shelter.  That's an awful thing for me to say, but it is true.\n\nThis is not an easy thing, and you have my sympathy - I've been in your position, and it's not pretty.
164557
First of all, you have added to the complexities of your situation by cheating on your husband.  To bring that into the open will further damage his mental state... That is , the depression.  At this point, I would wait to confess, and focus on his current situation.  This may or may not be the best advice.  It just seems that telling him would not do much for the situation right now.\n\nChronic pain, is a difficult thing.  I have dealt with it, and I can speak from experience, it is easy to crawl into a shell so to speak..  \nThe answers are simple to discuss, but to do them is another story. And success rates vary.\nYou did not address the cause of his chronic pain.. but.\n\nFirst, he needs to start exercising to the level that is comfortable.\nSecond, he needs to eat a diet that will support healing.\nThird, with his doctor, he needs to find another therapy that does not effect the physical issues you describe.\n\nIf he is on pain medication such as Vicodin, or Oxycontin... His pain may be emotionally created to justify taking the pills.  Addiction is a strong opponent to change.\n\nHe has to make some decisions, and you have to support him by both suggestion and coping through this tough time.\n\nCounseling might help with the depression, and you might consider going with him.\n\nAgain, this is a long discussion, and is best handled by a professional, which he needs to enlist the help of.\n\nDon't let things ride.  Make him confront the problem and address the ideas of what can make his quality of life better, and hence yours.
1002633
I have had a similar problem because my husband died when my son was 10 years old--maybe it was even worse, because my son wanted to be the "man" in the house.\n\nFirst and foremost, if your son is on some kind of drug, then punishment will not work at all--you will have to take more drastic steps.  Before you take any steps, sit down with your son and talk to him---not about drugs/alcohol, but ask him what exactly is bothering him so much that he feels the need to fit in with the crowd.  Maybe that will lead to a more in depth discussion on why he chose to do drugs.  Because, as you can imagine, once he realizes his own problem, there is a chance to fix it.  Just keep in mind that he is a teenager, they will not listen to our preaching, they do feel invincible, they feel they are in control---"it can't happen to me" kind of thing.\n\nIf you can get your son to talk about what is bothering him, the next step would be to involve his father, because it is important to decide togherther on what to do next and how to go about the rest.\n\nSince I did not have a husband any longer I decided to find a parenting support group.  That's where I got a lot of help and that might help you too.  Bringing my problems to this group helped me inasmuch that I was able to change the way I approached my teen, and it also helped me find solutions.\nI enrolled my son in a counseling program and with the help of the counselor decided that it was best to have my son admitted to a hospital for children who resorted to alcohol and drugs.  My son was able to communicate with other children about his problems, got good counseling there, and made the decision that drugs were not for him.  He was uptset that I put him there, but I dealt with that, because the most important thing to me was that my son got all the help necessary out there and it was worth every penny spent, because he is totally away from drugs, was able to join the military, is married now. So when considering your options consider that IF he is on drugs, he will not be able to get out of that alone.\n\nIf he is not seriously on drugs---a drugtest will reveal that(and depending on your insurance it might even be paid for by them), then I really would suggest that you look for a parenting support group to get support and good ideas on how to deal with your teenage son.  I went to a group called Parents Anonymus, I have no idea if they still exist---if they don't, then you might consider starting a group of your own.  The support is important.  Teenage boys in particular are too often thinking that they are a man and do not need our guidance and advice.  Whatever you do, consider that punishment might only be temporarily.  \n\nAnother thing I did was enroll my son in karate---he told me years later that this really helped him to let off a lot of steam.  Teenagers want to have some sort of control, they don't have it because they are still under our care, so they do get very angry when we decide that something is not good for them, and then they do that very same thing, just to defy us.\n\nLastly, I did hear a report on the news not so very long ago that the reaction of teenagers is also hormone related.  Once they are in puberty, there is a constant up and down because their hormone input is not regulated by the brain yet.\n\nI do not know if this helped you, but I sure hope so and wish you the best of luck.
668803
Just be supportive..be there when she needs someone to talk to. If you think he's being abusive ~ which most men are when they have an addiction ~ tell her to GET OUT!!!! There are all kinds of places she can go if she doesn't have a friend or relatives home to go to. She needs to know she can not change him or cure him, it's up to him to seek help. I've been down that road before and i endured 10 yrs of abuse, mentally and physically.
513485
Neither did mine, but I told him I did not want to be with a man that felt the need to escape to never-never land.  I wanted a strong man (character-wise)  We argued for a very long time about it.  I wasted TOO long arguing.  How long will it be til a couple times a week turns into several a week and then every day?  No one knows.  For my man, he had to choose between me and "it".  And it's not "just weed"  it's substance abuse just like any other drug including alcohol.   It's your life, set it up to live it well with the decisions you make every day.  YOU CAN"T MAKE him quit, you can only hope you can give him a reason that is good enough so that he wants to stop    to live in the real world like a man does.