Why do people think that it's odd to have a large family? I'm only talking 4 kiddos here.?
406717
Our society isn't geared to having any old family values anymore, so when you hear someone came from a large family or has one they automatically assume that 1) everyone's on welfare or 2) the parents were uneducated and or irresponsible.\n\nSociety also tends to think that children are not as valuable as they were when family actually meant something; children are just another tax deduction by today's standard.\n\nI think large families are great. I'm an only child and I wish I had brothers and sisters to divert my mom's attention when I got in trouble haha =)\n\nI also think that people tend to generalize that large families are not as caring or responsive to their children, and that the kids end up growing without the security a smaller family could offer. I say that no matter what the size, it depends on how the family is as a unit (I've seen smaller families just as dysfunctional if not worse than some large ones).
180344
Like the first person said it might be a matter of beliefs religious wise. Most parents are in love with the idea of one day being grandparents if your an only child you might be catching the backlash from that. If your a teen they probably think your just confused or doing this for attention. Give them time and they will come around.
864517
really good question. i have 4 boys and 1 girl. my daughter and i have always been super close. she does so much for me, and is very loving and kind. my 1st son died a few years ago. my 2nd son is really good to me...lives down the street. he shows his love to me more through material things, but i know he'd do anything for me. my 3rd son is adopted...from birth...and is severely mentally ill (extreme drug and alcohol use while in utero). he's been extremely difficult and has brought a lot of fear, sadness, and trauma to the rest of us. but we've always shown him that we love him...he just doesn't have the capability to show love. sadly, he has chosen to live unmedicated, and his life isn't an easy one. he would probably do anything for me if i asked him to, but he has chosen to seperate himself from the family...it's sad. my son-in-law is very much my son too, and he shows me daily how much he cares about me...i'm very lucky to have these awesome "kids" in my life.
360406
You should have as many children as you can afford, both with your health and money.  I know of families with 12 children and they are great.  I have seen families with 1 or 2 and there is a lot of selfishness with them.  \n\nMy magic number is 10, but if it would be more, then that would be great too.  I know I could afford it.  I just need a wife who would also go along with it, and of course we would work together on everything.
1170983
The reason why is because most families put a lot of effort into their first child/children. Eventually they get tired, and decide to spoil the baby of the family. My friend, who's younger sister (who happens to be around the age of graduating from college), has her parents still pay for her gas money!
890721
Whilke having kids is one of the greatest things, and I love being a mom, it totally stresses a relationship- that doesn't mean it will break it up.....SO much LESS time for the couple to be a couple....any parent here that says differently is either lying or not doing their jobs correctly as a parent.  How could a baby NOT stress a two-some???/  Now its a threesome or moresome and the baby/kids require plenty of time.........plenty.
303821
If it was me, I'm going to say no.  I have one beautiful son and one more son on the way that I'm totally excited about, but I'm not much of a kid person outside of my own.  So if I met someone and found out that he had 5 kids, I would not let a relationship develop.  I would not want to deal with living with a total of 7 children if we were to fall in love and actually live together.  Criminy who can afford to have 5 kids these days anyway??  Yikes!
770064
This may not be much comfort, but most people have screwed up families.   However there are only a few like you and I that will admit it.    My family is the same, sometimes it gets so bad I have to stay away from some of them for months on end.    I have learned that they may be my family, but sometimes you have to put some distance between you and  them for survival..
168109
I understand the logic behind it, but it is wrong to control how many children a couple can have.  I can imagine it shatters many couple's dreams and some kids may feel lonely as an only child.  \n\nBut the worse thing is that some people kill their kids!  Especially if it's a girl (because they feel a son is more valuable).  How sad.
224452
Oh yeah. A family is one of the things you have that others unfortunately don't, so cherish it. You never know, you might need them someday.
549442
no, sorry. but there are a lot of people, men or women, who just think 5 kids are too many. but i'm sure theres someone who loves kids just as you do, and wont mind it. \nit probably also depends on the age of your kids.
98161
I count my blessings! It's wonderful to make that kind of connection with people. My family does this often. We have a lot of non-family family members - I've always thought of it as a kind of adoption. It's really a great way to liven up any family gathering - it's nice to have all the family get together for Thanksgiving, but bringing newly 'adopted' family friends always spices things up. :)\n\nWhen I was your age, I had a couple families. My best friend's family was great - it was like having twice as many people care about me. At that age, it really helped me. 13's a rough age to be...so much is going on... I'm 25 now, and I still go visit my 'other' families. \n\nPeople used to say that it takes a village to raise a child. While you're not exactly a child, it's the same idea. The more people who care about you, the better. Don't worry too much - this is really a good thing.
274791
There are so many people looking for marriege and living as a family and loving thier kids ...You have to find one ,no one will come and ask you for that
816148
Sounds about right I am not a bit surprised about either of them. what is that quote " out of sight out of mind". I except there are quite a lot of people who do not pay child support, my Grand-daughter`s father for one.
682209
I agree that perhaps people fear change.  But it could also be that people may not want to move too far from their systems of support.... other family members, employment or educational opportunities, etc. A single mom might think twice about moving too far from where she has help with childcare especially if that child care is low cost or free due to being provided by a family member. Another thing could be that people want to be just close enough to be "nearby", yet far enough away to be "out of town".
386247
Because we only want to raise our own kids, not someone elses.  And by raising them, I mean being with them, and guiding them through life.\n\nI don't care what people says, it is wrong to raise someone elses kids.  If you adopt kids, well that is your own choice, just like marrying a person with kids.
869757
I'm not real sure why. I am not religious, but I also would not have a child unless I was married. I think its a better upbringing for a child to have two wed parents. Just my opinion...