How do I overcome being shy?
398670
Info and links that may help :-)\n\nAccording to a 1998 study called the National Comorbidity Survey, conducted by Ronald Kessler, PhD, at Harvard Medical School, more than 13% of Americans experience the symptoms of social anxiety disorder at some point in their lives. The same survey found that at any given time, a startling 4.5% of the population meets the diagnostic criteria, making social anxiety disorder the third most common mental disorder in the nation, after depression and alcoholism. Experts like R. Bruce Lydiard, MD, professor of psychiatry at the Medical University of South Carolina, applaud the new attention being given to social phobia. "The biggest problem we face is reaching these patients," he says. "Many are too afraid to see a doctor."\nhttp://www.webmd.com/content/article/13/1674_50379.htm\n\nLinks:\nhttps://www.shynesscurve.com/curve/index.asp\nhttp://www.socialanxiety.com/index.html
997741
Let me tell you from someone who suffers from shyness.  It gets you nothing face up to it and just tell him next time you are alone with him and he will tell you his feelings. (I know it's easy to say, but all you have to do is get it started and the rest is easy)  Tell him you have something to say and just say it let him know your nervous and he will understand if he's a decent person.
115525
Katie, don't expect to go from super-shy to outgoing all at once. Take baby steps and stretch yourself just a little bit at a time. Practice just smiling at people. Say hello to just one stranger a day as you pass by them. Ask a sales clerk a question, even if you don't really need to. Tell a girl you see that you really like her shoes, hair, nails, etc. - when you see that you get a positive reaction to being friendly, it will encourage you to do it more often. Just remember, not everyone will be open to you because they might be shy, too. But most people are willing to at least smile and say hello to others.\n\nTry some volunteer work - start at your local animal shelter if you feel more comfortable around animals than people. Animals love you unconditionally and can really help bring a shy person out of their shell. If it's possible, and you don't already have one, you might even consider getting a pet yourself. Other volunteer work is also helpful if you're allergic to animals or something - go help out at your local food bank, soup kitchen, homeless shelter, etc. \n\nWorking with people is really important if you want a good job. You have to be able to impress employers during interviews and you have to be willing to stretch yourself beyond your comfortable boundaries. Good luck! :)
440146
i used to be so shy, until i found my now best friend. she was so confident and encouraged me to do the same. maybe try and find friends on your own, so you aren't relying on your now friends to have a good time. Make conversation with a person in a bar or pub, thats usually a good way to get more confident, and if it doesnt work out then you can just leave it at that!\n\ndo things in public that you wouldn't normally do, like singing and dancing when messing about with friends.  Most of the problem is that you are thinking of what others think of you.  Dont worry what they think, theyr the ones having a boring time not you! and anyways, you wont see these people again, so let them think what they think!
277955
omg I'm quiet and shy too! People think I'm a snob and that I think I'm too good for them. One of the reasons they do that is because I dont smile. I know its hard, people tell shy people to just go up and talk to someone but its not that easy. I would try talking more to your friends (that would help you not to be as quiet and show people that you can talk to other people as well) thats what I am working on now. Good Luck!
750001
Hi,\n\nJust to let you know a lot of people feel the same way, but try and relax and take a few deep breaths and tell yourself that you can do it.\nI was shy when i was a child but working in a hospital has made me more out going.\nA great book to read is Feel the fear and do it any way:- By Susan Jeffers. \nYou can get it in any good book shop or library.\nT.
1178197
I assume you are pretty young.\n\nFirst, don't worry about being shy with girls.  Stay friends with the one you mention but don't feel that has to be a romantic relationship.  That friendship should help you overcome your shyness, and--if her status changes later on--you might be in a good position to build a more romantic relationship.\n\nDon't worry about the one that blew you off.\n\nMany girls are shy with guys.  There isn't that much to either guys or girls to be shy about.  Friendship can always work.  Don't ask for more unless you're sure.
540885
Lots of people talk.  Learn to ask intelligent questions and listen and you will find friends pretty fast.  And after they are your friends your shyness about talking will start to fade as you get to know them.
300395
start by talking little by little. i used to be shy, but now i actually get in trouble for talking in class. with that one friend that you talk to, talk more comfortably. they are your friends. talk to different people. make new friends. if not, you are doomed to live the rest of your life in the shadows.
870807
Hi, Shyness was my problem for a long time--what got me over it actually was going to law school--its not a place for a shy person.  Even college afforded me anonymity and an ability to get by without "being noticed."  My loss too.\n\nI'm not saying go to law school to cure your situation, but you have to do something extremely hard--just keep putting yourself out there.  Don't try too hard, don't act desperate, because people sense that.  You just have to force yourself into social situations and be yourself.  The rest will come by itself.  IF you have a friend who is at ease in social situations, play second banana to that friend for awhile....that person will be a magnet for others, eventually you will make friends who will be accepting of and responsive to your views and thoughts. \n\nOther possibilities--take a class that requires an oral presentation, take a public speaking class.  Take a class that requires collaboration with others, that will assure that you mix with people and that you have to share your views--since they took the class too, they will be open to you and just as vulnerable as you.\n\nThe key is to keep trying, you have to overcome it at each step, the nerves of entering a room full of people, the stress of trying feel and look natural when nobody seems to be paying attention, learning the art of knowing how to interject with a comment at the right time....etc...its stressful no doubt and not easy....but like most things it gets easier with practice.
152483
I have the same problem...I usually tend to be very normal with the people I know....but when it comes to new people or strangers I shy out...so just pretend that you know the person...not literly though
581908
You get over your shyness by, if necessary, making yourself talk to someone. I know it's not easy. I'm shy too. But I MAKE myself talk to people and when conversation is started, then the next logical step is dating. Smile, and be friendly to men where you go....grocery store, gas station, post office, etc. There are a lot of good, decent guys out there, and one of them is waiting for a nice Lady like you. Good Luck!
50305
be your self and dont be shy
514442
The most important thing to remember is that people can't see how you feel on the inside, they only see what's on the outside thus you may end up judging yourself more than others do which just leads to more shyness.\n\nTry these techniques:\nhttp://www.mayoclinic.com/health/social-anxiety-disorder/DS00595/DSECTION=9
1127757
If you can, have a party. Invite the people you know and like to bring friends. If you have people over on a fairly regular basis they will start to bring more friends over. Plus you can use your duties as host to get over some of your shyness...asking if people want another drink, etc. is a good excuse to strike up a conversation with someone you don't know very well. \n\nIf you don't have enough space to have people over you might consider picking a bar or restaurant that you like and try going once a week for a while. Eventually you will become recognizable and you might be able to strike it up with some of the bartenders/waiters or other regulars. If it's a bar the alcohol is a great social lubricant and helps everyone overcome shyness. Just don't over do it. If your into sports that is always a topic strangers can talk about.
898809
In my own personal experience, I determined that my shyness was actually a lack of self-esteem/lack of confidence.  I always wanted everyone to like me.  I was EXTREMELY shy, and one day I just told myself that I had to get over it.  I had to realize that some people will hate you on the spot, some will like you.  There's no pleasing everyone...so you just have to be yourself...be true to yourself...believe in what you believe in, even if you're you're the only one that may stand for what you stand for.  As silly as it sounds, "You're unique, just like everyone else" is very true.  Your own unique qualities, goals, beliefs make you that unique being...that no one else can be that person...only you.  Good Luck!
139015
Firstly be very careful who you try to speak with, second try speaking with your mouth closed, it might not help your shyness but it sure as hell will be a fun turn at a party!