my friend has an abusive ex...?
398679
ask other people to help you.\nher parents ?\nher priest ?\n\na social worker ?\n\nI know it's not easy and you want to be a good friend but sometimes it's very hard.\n\nRemember the old saying ?\nyou can lead a horse to water but you can not make it drink.\nYou can tell her, but she has to help herself.\n\nAsk others to help you
98228
Okay, I was in a similar sitution. This girl at my school, who happened to be my boyfriend's (at the time) ex, tried to break us up. It worked, also for like a day, and we got back together. Then she was saying stuff like she wanted to kick my a s s and run me over with a truck and crap like that. I told my boyfriend about it and he said that if she did anything to me, he would make her face unidentifiable. Ha! She never did anything about it, I think she was just trying to sound tough about it. I'd tell your boyfriend and he can tell her off, and I'm sure he'll keep you safe.
305962
If she's already his ex, there shouldn't be a problem. All girls are like that, you know, I know, so we have to take things our girl way.\nYou have a talk with his ex since he can't do much. Sit her down and make sure she listens to you. Just let her know what it feels like if she's in your situation. I'm sure she'll want the same help as you right now.\nMake her understand but do it in a polite way no matter how much you want to get rid of her. If you don't do it that way, she might not listen and will tend to make it worst. \nDon't push it too. Just go with the flow and take your time. I'm sure somehow, someway, she'll understand.\nGood luck!!
973345
No way this is normal. You need to put a stop to this-pronto!   There is a reason she is the "ex" so you have every right to remind him of this. He should be over her by now and have made the commitment of being with you. He's married to you now so he hasn't any reason discussing anything with her or being under her control. With exception of talking about the kid anything else concerning the two of you is is none of her business. He's out of whack for communicating with her like this. Time for a reality adjustment. So get up close in his face and tell him in no uncertain terms to shut that big mouth of his. What a lot of nerve. If you're wondering about what I think I think it sucks big time and is callous and disrespectful toward you. That shrew of an ex needs to be put in her place also. Who cares if she went "nuts". She's nuts if she thinks she had any say about the two of you being married! Who the hell is she anyway? Tell her to butt out of your lives. Share a relationship with the ex? God no!! So put your foot down unless you're considering becoming another ex.
793967
Violence is a serious thing. If you're worried about your \npersonal safety keep away at all costs.\nJealous people are really a drag. Your friend will learn\nthat quite quickly. By the time she's alone without\nfriends and her girlfriend still keep making jealousy\nscenes about anything and everything, she'll realize.\nI'd advice to keep a good distance from them both and\nwait until their break-up. It'll not take long as her new\ngirlfriend is the need of serious psychological \ncounseling.
949566
honey I so feel your pain. I want to give you some advice and please read carefully. Do not waste one more moment of your life fretting over this woman. This situation will always be a thorn in your side if you let it. DONT LET IT. You said your not a hateful person but if you let it this or she will make you one. Trust me I have been married to a man for 10 years and his ex is the beast master GOG OF MAGOG.I finally had to let it go but it just about ate me alive before I realized. I became bitter, hateful, obsessed, you name it. It will hurt no one but you.
1187801
This friend of yours is not a good person. She is definitely simply leeching out favours from others. Just leave her, don't talk to her. She'll definitely come back for more assurance. I think she needs some counseling.
1105734
your friend need a good solicitor...and someone to take his son for a long drive-away from his father-because if one of my kids ever put me thru this crap i would beat him...then it would be worth getting arrested for it!\nWhat is the so called mother playing at? Suddenly wanting the kids after not bothering for 6 years? Sounds like if your friend cant beat the lad, that maybe his ex wife should be in line!#\nI dont agree with hitting women or kids...but there a line that needs to be drawn and not to be crossed by the people that should show you some respect. good luck to him.
709223
You must let them both go. A friend had this happen to her also and they got together got married had two kids and now they are in divorce court. She never got over the fact that her g/f did this to her, but now she sees that she mulled way too long over this. I would not be friends with her anymore as you may never be able to trust her.
869891
This poor girl is so traumatized that she doesn't know what she is feeling or how to get control of her life. The abuse she is subjected to has made her life become so severely distorted that her priorities are mismanaged. She is beyond knowing who she loves and too paralyzed with fear to know what is a right course of action for her. She is obviously easily manipulated both by what ever "stuff" you were telling her and by being trapped in this dead end abusive relationship with the monster boyfriend. To further compound her desperation she has fallen pregnant. You're correct. It is appalling. So much so that the abusive rat-friend of hers has taken total control of her life. Don't think for one minute that it was her decision not to see you anymore. What ever she has "stated" to you is through his will because she has no will of her own.  Her life is in complete control by that bastard she is shackled to. That pig is calling the shots. He's the one who has forbidden her to call you. He's the one who has brainwashed her into marrying. \nYou need to ask yourself how much you care about her. If you do care enough how can you intervene on her behalf to get her away from the abuse? It's almost impossible to get someone out of an abusive situation unless they are willing to do so. For her she would need a whole network of support.  For sure that guy needs to be locked up. Just hope that he doesn't kill her to make that happen. If he's hospitalized her once it's likely to get even worse. For now just wait and see what happens. She may soon come running back to you.
948376
There ain't a nice way. She should not see him alone. If he bothers or threatens her, she should file a restraining order.
561546
NO, don't be friends with the ex. ESPECIALLY if he's being an a*ss
536702
Chose who you want to see.  Don't take anyone else's word.  If it came from his ex, she may still be bitter.  Just keep in mind what she went through and watch yourself.  You are an individual and have your own mind.
1144292
PLEASE GET OUT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!\nTHE SIGNS OF AN ABUSER ARE DEFINATELY WHAT YOU DESCRIBED!!!!!!!!\n\nIT CAN ONLY GET WORSE!!!!!\nHE CAN GET HELP BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD STAY WITH HIM.\nYOU TWO NEED A TIME APART WHILE HE GETS HELP THOUGH.\n\nI DON'T KNOW ABOUT ANY PARTICULAR PROGRAMS BUT I'M SURE YOU CAN FIND SOME ON THE INTERNET OR IF YOU ASK AROUND.\n\n\n\nBUT GET OUT!!!!!!!!!!
710315
tell her to call Social Services wherever she lives or go to the nearest police station. They will direct her. You cannot help her---what if her abusive husband comes after you! This calls for professional help. But you are nice to want to help!
1129447
Physical violence does not equal friendship in my book.  This friend isn't a friend, but a bully.  You have another friend. Go hang out with her.  Obviously you know that what your supposed friend is doing is wrong because you are writing about it here.  Stand up for yourself against this girl: tell her to leave you alone, tell her to stop hitting you - and mean it! Tell an adult who can help you with this situation.  Friends don't hit/kick/bite/slap/spit or commit other forms of violence against friends.
947590
Sadly -- you will not just have to prove (with all of the papers entered into evidence) that your ex is an abuser, but ...\n\nAlso have to endure an UGLY Custody battle as well.\n\nThis is more a Battle to make you miserable than any desire to have custody or visitation with the children -- and the longer he can drag it out and make you pay -- the more he is happy about the situation -- MORE control and Manipulation on top of the abuse you already have SURVIVED.\n\nUNFORTUNATELY -- the violent, abusive ex (and soon-to-be ex) has MORE rights in any proceeding than any of his Victims/Survivors.