i feel like crying all day i am constantly accusing my boyfriend of infidelity i cant stop?
406800
Get yourself to the doctor & have him give you a blood hormone test & thyroid hormone test...imbalances & fluctuations in these can cause mild to severe mood swings & depression. Hormone problems are often easily fixed!
147374
Your first option is to ask him.  Make sure you don't do it as an attack, or he'll probably cover it up.  Also, if you do it as an attack, and he isn't cheating, then he'll feel resentful and feel like any trust you two had, is gone.  Another option is to ask a friend {or PI} to watch your husband for a while.  Call him at work to see if he's there, find out what he's doing if he's "working extra hours"  Check emails, internet history, phone calls in and out, and so on.  Don't be afraid to pop in at lunch to surprise him with a home cooked meal.  This will give you extra time with him, make him feel special, and also thwart plans if he's trying to cheat.  Also, see if there are people that are with him often, that you feel you could get an honest answer from.  But honestly, I think asking him first, in a very soft and subtle tone, is your best bet.  But remember, never ask a question you can't handle any answer too.  I don't mean don't get angry or mad, but make sure you're at a place with yourself that you can hear what he has to say to you, no matter what his answer is.  I wish you all the best, insecurities, whether real or not, always hurt.
1044696
Dear asker,\n\nYou have to stop dragging your bagagge into your new relationship, he is NOT your ex-husband nor he has to be punished for what someone else did to you. It's not fair.\n\nYou have to put your guard down. He probally doens't know the details of your marriage and doesn't know what is most sensitive to you. You have to communicate and don't hold on to a grudge because youa re goingto explode, make a dramatic scene and drive him away.\n\nWhile is natural for you to feel tempted to walk away from a relationship because you are not going to take any more crap from anyone, I think that you are overreacting because probally your boyfriend is not doing nothing to you that merits such display of rage and emotions. Tell him about what makes you angry and sad and what subjects are better left untouched so it won't trigger your defensive mode, \n\nIf you want to try to be in a relationship, you have to learn to trust again (easier said than done) and let go of your bad experiences so you can freely enjoy love the way is supposed to be.\n\nBest of luck to you
535241
It sounds to me that his picking fights about nonsense is because he feels insecure about himself or even about the relationship between both of you. What is/are the reason(s) for him to say that you're cheating? Is it because you're seeing/calling him less? Did you hold on something not telling him when he asked you? He may be suspicious of your response to him. If you cannot really tell him something but it doesn't relate anything to your relationship, try to reassure your love and feelings towards him. Let him know you're always loyal to him and standing by him. \n\nHe always threatens to leave but he never does--It shows to me that he is upset about something (or feeling dissatisfied about something in the relationship) but he still cares about & loves you because he always only says so without the actual action. Again, it may due to his insecure feelings about your love/concern for him. He may not feel the same care/concern as he does to you. He may feel you don't love/care for him as much as before. He is worrying about your changes if there is any. So try to figure out if there is anything bothering him or making him feel dissatisfied.\n\nRight now I'll give him the benefit of doubt about his seeing someone. I'd rather think the major problem/issue is that he is feeling insecure about himself & the relationship. So my suggetion is: Try to compliment him more and let him know you really love & adore him and why.\nIf both of you have common friends, praise him in front of his/your friends to let him feel special, respected and loved. \n\nHope it helps.
823009
You have very low self esteem. If your boyfriend doesn't give you any means to react this way then YES it's all in your head. You have probably been hurt,lied,cheated or deceived in the past. Well that's the past. You have to look ahead to the present/futur now. Just because others have deceived you doesn't mean that your present boyfriend will. You have to take a chance in life and open your heart. It's better to have Loved and Lost to have never had Loved at all. Have a little faith and trust in him. But if he does deceive you then hunt him down and shoot him. hahaha !
1147910
You are not wrong for feeling the way you do about his infidelity.  However, you can be blamed if you are not letting your feelings known to the person(s) you are blaming for putting you in this position of mistrust, anger, sadness...  If you let this go for too long, you'll lose yourself.  Let your feelings out and you'll definitely feel better...and it will give you a sense of freedom to make choices about what to do next.  Separation can be a good thing when trying to figure it out.  Because you are married and even though he is in the wrong, he has a right to know how you feel and what you intend to do about it.  If your desire to give him another chance is there but buried with all the anger then focus on the good you two have shared and go back to those magical moments to help you remember why you were together in the first place.  No one is perfect, wife or husband, we all have faults.  Forgiveness won't be easy but it will give you both freedom whether you stay together or not.  I wish you all the best.
1072986
oooo God honey im so sorry i hate when this happens! just umm keep all things possible. try keeping yourself busy out of sight out of mind.. if you feel hes cheating or u know he is dont you sit back and get hurt you go out there and be dirty too! and you will see a change in him, if not put him out or just keep doing what you are doing
32000
Go to your local church and talk to the pastor. Find a hobby sometimes doing for others in need helps us to feel better. I am a retired military wife so I know some of your feelings. First you need to understand you can't take care of others until you take care of you.Call your boyfriends Ombudsman see if there are any groups through his company that helps deal with your concerns. Listen to people around you see if there is anything you can help them with and just keep busy don't sit and think to much sometimes that is not always a good thing to do.
163007
i know the feeling, it sucks! we've been together for 5 yrs now & im secretly apologizing to him at the back of my mind... take your time to listen to whatever it is that's bothering you right now, a little time off perhaps,so you can figure it out? \nlife is too short for slip ups in relationships. at least you won't be where im at cuz it really sucks!
724572
Aww honey its okay!! Feeling like this is perfectly normal but cheating twice?? I would say take him back if this was his first offense but honestly I dont even know the guy and know that he will cheat again..I'm sure you still care about him and have feelings for him but if he cared for you the way you care for him then he wouldn't have done the things that he did!! You can do better and he will be feeling ALOT worse than you when you move on and know that life can go on without him...I've learned the hard way and always forgave but now I have a baby and what started off with a little cheating to ALOT he didn't stop and would try to lie after a night of romance and come home to his daughter and me..Leave before it becomes something more..A promise just cant be believed anymore..Good luck hun and hang in there..Time heals everything :)
351991
You need closure!\nTry harder to contact him. Maybe by asking for help from a mutual friend...\nYou are feeling guilty and the only way to overcome that is by sitting down with him and having a long talk and explaining why you did what you did...
591939
I DONT THINK THAT I COULD FORGIVE MINE IF I FIND OUT HE CHEATED ON ME BECAUSE I AM CRAZY ABOUT HIM AND HIS SEX AND JUST TO THINK ABOUT HIM DOING IT MAKES ME SICK TO MY STOMACH, THEN IF I FIND OUT THAT IT'S REALLY HAPPENING I THINK THAT I WOULD HAVE A NERVOUS BREAKDOWN
979147
that's really horrible and I'm so sorry for your hurting. It will take you a while to get ovr this so just be patient with yourself. cry it out and then cry some more. tell everyone how you feel and get it out. then start making your self feel good. do things you know will make you feel good. do all the things you wished you'd done but couldn't because you were with him. get really fit and healthy. eat well and exercise. have beauty treatments and look fantastic...best revenge really and it will make your confidence go up again. go and visit friends..get away for a while if you can afford it. I'm sending you a big hug to get you started and really wishing you much good from the universe..you deserve it XX M
972141
you dont deserve a liar he cant be trusted and if he does it now he will always do it you need to let it go and find something better honest and trust are very important to a relationship
173627
I am really sorry to hear that, and really hope you are doing alright. I just found out the same thing about my g/f of over 4 years, so feel lucky it happened now and not further down the road. \n\nYou have to realize that you cannot forgive a person for that. Can you imagine your relationship if you got back together? if you got married? Is that how you'd expect the person that you want to be with to treat you. What he did is total disrespect towards you and you deserve better. \n\nThe best thing you could do is cut all ties and abolish any friendship you have with the person...not calling or emailing will be the toughest part but it is important that he realizes that he really messed up and it is his loss...you'll be better off in the long run. Remember you can't be friends with a person that hurts you on purpose...cheating is never an accident. If you try to get him back with you, you lose all respect and degrade yourself, you make him feel like he is a great catch if you still want him (he doesn't deserve that), you make him feel like he can have you anytime and treat you like crap, and You Deserve Better!!!\n\nemail me if you need more advice...I have been through it all lately (apshawnhunt@COLDmail.com - change to hot)\n\nGood luck finding someone that sees you for the great person I'm sure you are.
308882
I went through this, but the guy cheated on me. I still have anger for him, which happened a little over 3 years ago, my current boyfriend though the same way your girlfriend is think about the anger. You need to tell your girlfriend that you have anger built up towards her because what she did was wrong and you can't forgive her for that. But one thing I do suggest is that when your around your girlfriend don't mention anything about your ex cheating on you, pretend you don't even know who she is now. It is hard but trust me it pays off in the long run. I know don't even think about my ex cheating on me, because I love my boyfriend now and I'm happy with him. Just talk to your girlfriend and tell her exactly how you feel about the whole situation.
247647
Well if you truly love your boyfriend you need to question yourself why you are dating someone else on the side. Is it because you are not happy with your boyfriend? Is it because you are insecure? Once you are able to find the answer, then you will feel much better. Of course you are depressed, you were busted. But you have to live with the consequence, that is the only way you will learn from your mistake. Yes, what you did was wrong. Hurting someone who trusts you is wrong.