For married people...?
411694
My husband and I were married for just short of 4 years and together for a total of 12 when he passed away. Having been widowed for just over a year, I feel that I am at least qualified to offer my opinion on this subject. \n\nI have just started to think about dating here in the last month. It is difficult to say the least and you do have a tendency feel as though you are cheating on your spouse. \n\nThat being said, you have to think about what your husband would have wanted for you...would he really want you to spend the rest of your life pining away for him? And should the shoe have been other foot, what would you have wanted for him? These questions we must ask ourselves. \n\nAll things come in good time and grief and grieving are no exception it can take years to heal or it can take months, alot depends upon the type of death, be it unexpected or terminal illness. \n\nComing from the perspective of terminal illness, I can honestly say that a lot of my grieving was done prior to the actual event taking place. That, however does not mean that I don't miss my husband, I do, daily. But, we had these conversations for over 2 years and I knew what he wanted me to do. He felt I was too young and vibrant to spend the rest of my life alone and made me promise that when I felt ready, I would seek out another relationship. And to me, that spoke volumes regarding the depth of his love for me.
1013239
I understand. I don’t know what I’d do if I wasn’t married, but let me share some of the things I have learned in almost 20 years:\n\n1) Courtship is important. And long courtships are best. In our fast-paced world, especially as young adults, we are always rushing around. The best way to divorce-proof a marriage begins before you ever meet your mate-to-be, during the dating process. Serial dating, especially when it involves premarital sex, is a course in how to get divorced. We end up hooking up and then when things go sour we run away. Don’t get involved with someone who isn’t a friend. And date at least 2 – 3 years before getting married. That way you can get over the initial 18 month crush where everything about the other person is fascinating and the whole infatuated view of “The way you eat is so cute – it sounds like bells ringing,” to “If you clang your fork off of your teeth again I’m gojng to shove it through the back of your throat.” Not kidding – real conversation between my wife & I in the first year. I’m glad to say she never jammed the fork through my throat and I learned to use my lips as a cushion between my fork & teeth. \n\n2) Keep Christ at the center of your marriage. It seems obvious, but it is essential. Every time you notice that ring on your finger, pray for your spouse. It doesn't have to be long or even audible. Just a quick mental thanks to God for your mate, or a quick thought of, "God be with her/him." \n\n3) Love is NOT give and take. There is no take in love. Read 1 Cor. 13 (the love chapter). Love is giving. I give to my wife. She gives to me. If both are giving no one needs to take. Develop this mindset and remember that this is what marriage is meant for. Eph 5 takes a lot of heat for telling wives to submit to their husbands. But it also tells husbands to submit to their wives. Give + give = love. Give + take = selfishness = unhappy = divorce.\n\n4) Never use derogatory names for each other, even in fun. Husbands, if you call your wife "old lady" that is what you will see in her over time. I call my wife "my bride", especially when I am upset with her. That way I remember that wedding day, all those dreams, etc.\n\n5) When kids are involved it is easy to place them in front of your spouse. While time with kids is important & shouldn't be neglected, those kids will grow up & move out one day. Your mate will still be there and you'll need something else to talk about besides the kids. Make a habit of dating. Guys, even ask your wife out on a date. Arrange the babysitter. Often couples in church can provide a wonderful service for each other by trading Fridays (or whatever day is appropriate).\n\n6) Get to know and socialize with an older Christian couple or two who have a happy long-term marriage. Learn from how to treat each other from them. Remember that we all face similar adaptation issues when we are first married & they have worked those issues out. Talk with them about what they had to work out in either early married years and how they resolved things. This can be one of the biggest benefits you ever have, especially if you come from a divorced family or a family with strained relations.\n\n7) It may seem obvious but pray together. Have individual quite times, but have a shared quite time as well, at least once a week. And no matter how much you think it will hurt or bother your mate, talk. Holding it in doesn't make it go away - it only makes it fester until you explode all over each other. Talk and if agreement needs intervention, see your pastor or a Christian counselor.\n\nMarriage is very frightening - especially for those of us who came out of dysfunctional families. But the single biggest cause of dysfunction in my experience (and in my family) was selfishness. Give to each other & to the Lord, and you too can have a happy marriage. God bless you & best wishes!
326998
Do it anyway you feel comfortable and can afford. Unless you have children. Then please do it quietly and discreetly.  I am getting sick and tired of attending weddings where the kids are in the ceremony.
683809
Been there - one of the things that helped my wife and I clear out all the rubbish accumulated over 7 years marriage was us going on a marriage course together.\n\nI simply cannot recommend it enough - it has changed us around - website below to find the nearest course.
932559
I've been married for 17 years to a wonderful man.  We've had our ups and downs, been through financial feast and famine, illness, the deaths of our parents and grandparents and a dozen other little trials I can't recall.\n\nThe biggest "pro" to being married, I think, is that you have someone to share your thoughts and feelings with.  You have someone to lean on and support you - and someone who will appreciate the support you provide.  After you are married for a while, you develop your own "couples" sense of humor.  There will be things only you two find funny.  You will take road trips together in the car and play silly car games.  You'll lay awake in bed at night and giggle about nothing.   You develop a sort of empathic sense about the other person so you can sense their feelings before they even speak sometimes.  I appreciate my husband more and more the longer we are married.  You just don't get that kind of companionship outside of marriage.  \n\nThe drawbacks, I suppose are the same mundane drawbacks that come whenever you share physical space with another human.  They aren't always neat (but neither are you), sometimes they smell, sometimes they are selfish and intolerant.  But who isn't?
685195
Get counseling to see if your marriage can--or should--be saved.  Pleasing "everyone else" is irrelevant.
50206
My husband and I have been married for 29 and one half years.  Some years were great some not so great.  But we hung in there and are more in love today than when we married.  Best wishes.
960061
yep... Being married means you get inlaws. Luckily for me, mine are great!
1159061
Yes, I was married to a man who was wonderful, but there is a downside to it. In order to stay in love the intimacy needs to be there. We later divorced and remained good friends, which was what we were in the first place. I have since remarried and I am glad because I missed being intimate with someone. Good luck.
61120
Marriage can be a very beautiful thing when its w/ the right person.  I can hardly wait to marry my fiance.  We live together now and its hard but great.  You have to work at it like everything else in life to make it wonderful.  You get out what you put into basically.
44129
it depends on your relationship, and how long you've been married.  i know people who have been married forever and still do it everyday.  then there are some people who sleep in different rooms, so there is really no answer.  it depends on how much you are willing to sacrifice in order to keep sex interesting and satisfying for both of you.
387773
I love being married.  There is nothing better than being with someone who knows your every emotion.  Knows when you need a hug, or when you need to laugh.  Or just someone to be silly with.  Burdens are halved and joys are doubled.  It couldn't be better to do all of that with someone you love and who loves you.
705180
just wait upto your marriage my dear friend.......
361048
Marriage is a great experience. However, i would strongly suggest that you are prepared for it. It's a lot of work and compromise, but if you're truely dedicated it's so worth it.
351834
Everyone gets off on different things - but if you have issues with it, maybe you should try to figure out if you can handle it. There is no point getting married unless you are 100% sure, otherwise it is a recipe for disaster
608396
Marriage.  Sadly, even that isn't 100% secure for some.
965254
Good morning, dearheart. Good for you. here's my take on gay marriage. I've been married to the same wonderful lady for the last 26 years. She drives OTR semi for a living and I'm a housewife. We both wear wedding rings and feel as married as the next heterosexual couple but I can get none of her health benefits. How my union is hurting society I can't fathom as our relationship has been monogamous for all of it's 26 years and that same union has lasted longer than many heterosexual marriages. There are couples on the LGBTQ site here that have been together for over 40 years (which is a great thing in its own right) How can their love be hurting anyone? Good luck and Blessings on you.