how do I help a 13 year old girl who is cutting herself?
399731
You may not be able to directly, she needs professional help.  You can help see that she gets it.
574721
gorl oh my gosh she really does need help u need to tell or call someone and i am serious i have had a situation like this and just try to talk and comfort her and tell her how much she is loved by u and her other family and freinds tell her that she still ha s2 acomplish things in her life and that she can get help and that you will be ther with her if she wants.\n\n                         - i wish u the best of luck with her and u
646562
Okay, as for the cutting, that is sometimes a relief from some type of anxiety or pain in your life.  Cutting allows people to have control rather than the real pain they have which a person cannot control.  As for the self-mutilation, some people are into that.  It is not necessarily a bad thing although it could lead to infections and rarely something more serious.  \n\nI think the best thing is to let her come to you when she is comfortable unless you see it going out of hand.  The minor things are not necessarily horrible although to most people it would seem that way.  If it bothers you too much you may want to bring it up and talk with her about it and see if she will open up more to you.\n\nI was a cutter!
654541
My son start cutting himself 5 years ago.  The best thing that I did was to educate myself about why he was doing it.  I went into chat rooms for cutters, read blogs by cutters, did anything I could to interact with others who cut.  \n\nShe is not trying to kill herself.  If you can get her to talk about it, great.  Until then, try to find out why people cut from cutters themselves.
195410
The only way she can be helped is if she wants to be....I don't think it matters what you do or say she's the one that wants to be helped..i think it's OK to talk to her and tell her how you feel about this and let her know that when she's ready for help you'll be there...at that point you can find her a group to go to or a hospital to go to...till then just be a friend.
385940
Well the only way I know is to confront them straight up and tell them that you think they have a problem and you need help and that you will be there for them if they need it. Tell them that you are afraid of them hurting themselves.
741545
Are you trying to stop? If so, congrats! That's a big first step to take =) Anyways...\n\nFirst, you should research the topic so that you have an idea of what you are dealing with, with some tips on how to deal with it, tell others, and such. It might give you some insight to why you hurt yourself as well. A sight that gives a basic description is  http://www.nmha.org/infoctr/factsheets/selfinjury.cfm  a good page with some links to other pages depending on what you need is http://teenadvice.about.com/od/cuttingbranding/  I would also suggest the site recoveryourlife.com  it is a site of self harmers, either who are trying to stop, have stopped and trying to keep from going back, or have stopped and want to help others quite. It's got a forum and a chat room. It is a very good site because it doesn't glorify or condone cutting (Such as saying things like "Cutting is awesome" or  "Do you know (celebrity name) cuts? that means its tight!"  or posting pics on the site for others to comment on and such. That doesn't mean the members aren't understand or cruel or whatever. They want to stop the problem, instead of encouraging it). \n\nA good thing to try is professional help. I got a counselor for my self harm issues, and he was understanding and helpful. Most councellors are not judgemental and do there best to help, though a few might not be able to help someone with self harm issues, just because they are not well trained in that area of psychology, but most are cool. He/she will help you uncover why you are hurting yourself, and try to stop the behavior. So i would suggest getting a counselor if possible, they can be a great help.\n\nAnother thing to do is to tell someone you love about this issue (if you haven't already). Self harming is a very hard thing to stop, much harder if you don't have someone helping you. Not trying to discourage you, it's just if you have someone helping and encouraging you along the way it is "easier" for you to quit. Tell someone you can trust and that won't judge you, and will listen to you. If you want to tell someone, here is a tip that will hopefully make it easier. (This is meant to be used in telling your parents, but it should work for anything really). You should write out a letter, explaining about the cutting, why you do it (if you know), some information about it (so that they can have an idea of what's going on), your point of view, etc... This allows you to get all of the things you want to get out out, so that you don't end up forgetting something if you tell someone straight forward. You can either give the letter to the person (or leave it somewhere they can find it), or use it as a guide to tell the person(s) directly. \n\nAlso, there are some tips to stop the urges to self harm. Here are a few:\n\n*Draw in red pen on the area where you usually cut yourself. *just ignore it and move on. ALL urges will pass in time, you just have to distract yourself until they do \n*Do something relaxing when you are stressed, take a warm bath, do a soduko, read a book, cross-stitch (that works for me) whatever makes you relax\n*Write in a journal how you feel when you want to hurt yourself, get your feelings out\n*Listen to music that either: 1. calms you down, makes you happy 2. music that talks about how you are feeling, like hurt, angry, etc... (be careful with this though, it could actually trigger you if you aren't careful)\n*Talk to anyone, not nessecarily about the cutting, just call up a friend to distract yourself.\n*Hit something (not yourself) like a pillow or something\n*Pray (if you are religious)\n*Just distract yourself in some way. The feelings will pass, you just need to give it time. \n\nThere are many more tips, but these are the ones i can think of off the top of my head. These are tips to deal with the feelings. Now some tips for the pain part. \n\n*Hold ice cubes in your hand. It gives you the pain
29375
I used to be a cutter.  I would do it becuase I would have so much emotional pain, cutting myself would hurt physically so it would take my mind of my emotional problems, instead I could focus on the physical pain.  \n\nI stopped becuase I went to a psychiatrist and got medication for depression.  That helped A LOT!!!\n\nAs far as what to say to your friend... my friends never knew what to say to me (my best friend talks about it with me a lot now that I don't do it anymore).  I actually scared them a lot.  Maybe just let your friend know that it scares you when they hurt themselves.  Then try to get them to go get help for it.  You can talk about the underlying issues, but if they are at the point of cutting then unfortunately they most likely need professional help.  That is a sign of a psychological disorder.\n\nAt work I have seen several kids that do this.  They give reasons for doing it anywhere from my reason to wanting to see what it would do, to wanting to kill themselves and just "hoping i would cut deep enough".  \n\nSo like i said, talk to your friend.  Try to find the underlying issue, and get them help.  Be there for them.  Good luck.
1139351
I used to have the same problem that your friend has. My parents were crazy and strict and I became depressed and suicidal for many years. I never attempted suicide, but I did cut myself occasionally. I understand when she says it feels good. The best way that I can explain it is that the physical pain sort of momentarily takes away the emotional anguish that you're experiencing. It's not a healthy thing to do, buy many people do it. If your friend doesn't want to see a therapist, the best thing that you can do for your friend right now is to just be there for her and listen as much as you can. Since your friend can't really change her parents right now, there's not a lot that she can do about her current situatione except to learn how to cope with the problems that she's dealing with. If your friend expresses any desire to commit suicide or you think that she might be thinking about suicide, then you need to tell someone about it, a school counselor, a church advisor, or a parent.
916509
Yes you do need serious help! How can you slip your wrists????\nWe have all got problems in this life,....cutting ourselves dpesnt help us at ALL!!!!!\nFirst thing you should do is not go near you dads friend for  while and if he asks you anything just say that you didnt encourage her to do it ( which I guess is the truth..RIGHT?????)\nSecond you and your friend should stop 'CARVING' yourselves!!\nIf you have a prblem talk to your parents but if you're not the 'italktomyparents' type of person then talk to your friend!! (seeing as you both have a special friend connection ..COZ YOU CUT YOURSELVES TOGETHER!!!!!!). You could tell your friend your problems and she could tell you hers...be open and make sure the conversation between you two STAY between you two!.\nOh and one last thing.........I am a human being so I dont have the power to change people.........(if I could I would change soooooo many! ) so I cant change you if cutting yourself helps you live then do it...BUT NO TO DEEP!! AND NOT TO MUCH!!\n\nI have to confess I have also cut myself varios times! CALL ME EMO IF YOU WANT!! xDD
417922
Tell her you care. and keep saying that. \n\n\n Suicide is a cry for help, when you feel alone.\n Don't let her feel alone.
492980
hey whats up? i have depression and take depression medication, but i never got to the point where i can hurt myself. Hun, listen, noone can help you .. YOU have to help YOURSELF .. instead of cutting urself doing something else... gooo run around your town (make sure u tell someone where you are) goo to the gym ... but cutting yourself won't solve anything..if someone messages you calling you dumb, don't pay attention .. they're the dumb ones.\n\nPhsyciatrist are good for when you need advice and you need someone to talk to, but only you can help yourself, noone else. Believe in yourself. \n\nif you ever feel depressed.. u can email me babychellinha@yahoo.com <-- thats also my yahoo ID, Instant message me if you need to!!\n\ni hope i was good help\n\ntake care of yourself and i hope i helped a little.\n\nbye! take care\n\n<3 CHEllE
18322
how old is this guy? if he is a teenager i suggest you let his parents know he is thinking of suicide.if he is older i guess you will just have to wing it and do the best you can by trying to get him to get help.
584006
I'm a male registered nurse. I wish I could help. \n\nContinue to talk with her... In this way, you are already helping the person because she gets to express her feelings which is therapeutic so that she will not consider any plan to kill herself. Let her cry...that's good.\n\nDetermine her plan of suicide. If she mentions about suicide, ask her directly if she has a plan or what is her plan.By knowing her suicide plan...you can prevent it from happening.\n\nRemove any sharp materials or ropes, belts, knife, pins, or just about anything that could harm her. I had experience with a patient who is commiting suicide using his own underwear. He wrapped it around his neck. But it was prevented.\n\nJust keep nearby so that she can call you when suicide thoughts are going back. Seek the help of the family members to watch her.\n\nGo to a psychiatrist and he can recommend for a court order for hospitalization if he thinks it's necessary. If you think that you friend has not been eating, bathing, or doing normal activities of the day...the more you should call.\n\nThe pills she is taking usually do not work until after 2--3 weeks of continuous taking. I'm assuming she is taking antidepressants such as Prozac, Tofranil, Imipramine, zoloft...\n\nfor more details....\nIM me now thru yahoo messenger: fire_syringe@yahoo.com
859133
well first of all you may want to realise that her cutting herself may not just be to "releive stress" it could also be because she blames herself for things that go wrong in her life (even if they are not her fault) as far as her stopping you can't make her stop (one of the very unfortunate things about it... she is the only ine who can make her stop. I started cutting when i was 14 because i blamed myself for everything, my mom my best friends even my boyfriends begged, pleaded and threatened me to get me to stop... well i am now 19 and up until a few weeks ago when i found out i am pregnant the urge still took over sometimes. The baby is the only reason i can say i stopped for sure now. (given it did slow up once i got to be about 16.) Just try to tell your friend that what she is doing is hurting you and try to help her find other ways of getting rid of frustration, like writing, running, singing, taking a bath, crying, anything besides this.... the scars are very unattractive and later will make her feel a little worse about herself when she stops cutting and still has the scars... mine bother me ALOT
701543
ppl cut because they are exchanging one kind of pain for another, but you seem to know this. YOU can not help her except by trying to talk her into getting the professional help she needs. you can only be her friend.To start off with I suggest you do all the research you can on this. do a google search, go to the library, go to a med. clinic, go to the school councler, etc... do NOT mention your friends name, YET, .. get all the info you can, then sit down with friend and show her all you know about it... then warn her that if she does not seek help, YOU will..... this is NOT a game.... give friend a certain amount of time to study and look into all this, about a week, anything more is asking for trouble..... then if she has NOT complied to the warning then you must go to her parents or anyother adult you TRUST... you must understand, that untreated cutting leads to  even more serious problems that can result in death !!!!! she will be mad at you for a time, thinking you betrayed her, but the betrayal is by her, to herself !!!!!! When you speak to her uplift her spirits by saying how much you love her, have faith in her to do the right thing and make sure you tell her how much you would miss her if something were to happen..... do NOT pour any guilt on her, or point the finger or blame her or anyone for this... be as positive as you can... BUT, I warn you, this will not be an easy task for you...... YOU must be willing to go all the way with her..... I mean do not just start this and then forget about it if she does not seek help herself...... you take the first step you have taken on a commitment !!!!!!!! so if you do not wish or have the ability to take this on, then PLEASE, take this to an adult you TRUST and let them handle it..... your friend will never have to know you took the loving step to save her life............. God bless
651354
just let her know that you may not have all the answers or even any answers but that you are there for her if she needs someone to just listen or if she needs support you will support her in any decisions she makes that have to do with the  relationship and cicumstances with her parents. offer to help her at any time she needs someone to go with her to go talk to someone so she does not feel alone. things like that , just be there for her let her know you are there and that you care.