my bfriend is always so grumpy he snaps at everybody .  even his family has said he is a A$$HO%%.?
403151
I have two suggestions.\nThe first is a simple technique, perhaps difficult to organise but worth the effort.\nYou arrange for the man to have at least ten minutes ALONE when he first gets home after work. Some suggest 20 minutes.\nHe needs some time to wind down...to take his shoes off...to\nstretch, have a shower, a beer. No rowdy children!\nYou can join him near the end of it. Be nice. A few minutes just for him.\nThat often works wonders.\nIf it doesn't, or if he is unemployed, you have no alternative but to keep hammering into his thick skull that you are a package deal.\nNow, I want to add that it may help him to have one day a week without your children in the house. Can they visit relatives (yours or his), for a day and a night?\nYou really are a package deal, it's true, but in his own blockheaded way your man has his own expectation of happiness and his own perception that he is being denied it.\nAt some point, you should also try to get it through his head that you want to be responsible for disciplining and guiding your children. Ideally, he should discuss with you in private anything concerning your kids.\nHe shouldn't have to feel directly responsible for your kids, only calm and friendly and supportive. \nRemember that for him, sex and affection for you is how he sees the relationship. \nIf you can get him to stop looking at your children as his own burden and get some time alone with him, you may both end up feeling better about your relationship.\nAs well, he should have some friends and interests outside the house so that you get some time to be with your children.
340942
He sounds like he's acting like a spoiled brat to me! He needs a good butt whipping! He needs to act his age, not his IQ!! So what if you got a call from an old pal? So what?!? Its not like you were talking dirty or something. Sounds really controlling and jealous, so you better put an end to his mess now before it gets too bad. Put your foot down and MAKE him listen to you!! GL;)_
1036579
Sadly there is not much you can do to cool him down or even prevent an episode of rage in him.  If you want to cope so you don't end up terminating the relationship all you have to do is when you sense his temper tantrums coming, leave immediately if possible.  Simply refuse to be around him because you know that his negative attitude will affect you...I'm sure it always does.  And if his temper is as quick as you say, then you may just be running away from him more than you stay around him, but that is the only thing that can keep you safe from his poison.
474072
Really difficult.......it sounds to me that he is fighting you all because it's easier than trying to get along for him right now.  I would sit him down and without getting angry just explain that there are going to be rules in your household from that moment on.  One of them being that no bad language is used.  I wouldn't give him random jobs to do but set a weekly agenda so he knows exactly what is expected of him.  Also have job lists for the other children.  Get them all to agree that they will complete there tasks, then he won't feel picked on the moment you ask him to do something.  You will just have to accept that his time spent in his other home is going to be his 'fun' time because his girlfriend etc is there.  Don't allow him to use this as a stick to beat you with.  The facts are he lives with YOU in YOUR house and must obey the house rules.  \n\nThe sitting in his room alone sounds a little worrying.  I think he wants people to come in to try and coax him out - it may be for attention or it may be that he just likes sitting on his own doing his own thing.  If there is someone in the house that he gets on the best with then send them into him occassionally to just chill with him for 5-10 minutes, stick your head around the door and just ask if he's OK.  \n\nHe is proably unhappy about his situation - every kid would prefer to be living with his real mom and dad.  He will get used to it but the more you fight with him the more you lose!  Set the rules and stick by them - not just for him but for everyone.  Good Luck.
1099272
Tell him your sick of his annoying antics and he needs to get a life.  Tell your bf that you dont want him hanging around you anymore and if he loves you he should respect that. =)
951659
Yes you have a right to be angry.  No he will never change.  I used to have a bf of 3 yrs that did this, and no matter how many times I would tell him that bothered me he did not change.  Of course he would be good for a bit, but then he'd go right back to his same old ways.  I have had other bfs since then that do not do that.  He is more concerned about himself and what he wants to do which is not call you until he is good and ready.  Its a selfish nature that does not change in them.  I'm sorry to say this, but you have to do one of two things.  Either accept it and stop getting mad, knowing it will never change, or move on and find someone who respects you enough to keep his word.  Right now you are unsure because its a small thing, but this sort of behavior from him, is only a glimpse of what his behavior would be about the bigger things.  Good Luck to you as I know how you feel, torn.
340272
Sounds like there is more to the story than you not liking or getting along with his family.  You expect more for him and he hasn't delivered.  People don't change.
736613
its possible that someone is grumpy but others still like being around them because they are fun, or show that they care or are sweet, etc, etc. in other ways. maybe they dont take it personally, they just think that youre grumpy in general but not a bitch.... its totally possible
592489
You might try recording one of his 'episodes', he may not realize how obnoxious that is.  You might reminding him that it's only a compliment when someone ELSE says it...\n\nGood luck, that kind of behavior gets old fast!
131114
confront him about it.ask him if he says thing about you in general to his friends.remind him that you won't be mad at him if he says yes. tell him that you might by a little mad but you could never possibly stay mad at him for long and that you promise not  to hold a grudge, and thatyou are willing to forgive him if his mouth has been running about you. if he says yes. ask him what he says. if he says no then check with a friend of his THAT YOU KNOW THAT YOU CAN TRUST TO TELL YOU THE TRUTH! if he talks about you to them or anyone else. :D\n\nhope i helped.
1132210
talk to you boyfriend, tell him how you feel about his fam not wanting to talk to you, and maybe he'll talk to them so that they may lighten up. I went trough the same thing. I still don't really like his fam, but I'm over it now.  Don't let them know it bothers you! don't give them that satisfaction.
914598
He kind of sounds like a creep. Think about it, he has a kid and is with some other girl everyday. He is not thinking about you. I know that hurts, but please realize that you can do better. Try to find a nice guy who can be respectful and loving to you and your child. This man obviously has no family values. He does not listen to you, does not care enough to be a full time father and also does not listen to his own family's opinion. Dump the loser!!!
931399
It sounds like a normal reaction to me. he'll get over it just be patient good luck.\n\nluv kby xx
697916
im going thru the same sort of thing. my relationship is way longer than yours and my guy is 24 and he is also working on a degree for computer science and forensics....i thought that was normal until i would go to his place and he would ignore me...i would just walk away and ignore him back! most of the times i fell asleep listening to music on my MP3 player which is sad! now my bf sort of passed that phase where videogames were his world but he still plays them and  the only thing i can do is to do my homework or read a book or be on my cell or cook or something. ...your bf is going thru some weird videogame stage where he wants to beat a level and he cannot therefore he gets frustrated therefore he curses and uses bad words because he is mad...! keep yourself preoccupied while he plays for lets say 2 hours tops and that is it! have a talk with him and tell him that if you are over you would appreciate it if he would nor curse and to pay attention to you and not the videogames! if he gets mad which he will tell him that he can play his game for an hour and then you two can watch a DVD and he cannot comment or make excuses!if he keeps it up just get  out of the relationship honestly since if he is willing to pay more attention to some stupid game and not the time he has with you he is taking you for granted! as for you putting up with his tantrums well, just get out of the relationship because you never know what can trigger him to go at your throat or call you names or curse you! he seems to have anger management problems and just because he has a bad day does not give him the right to take it out on you!!!!!! wha next, he will become physically abusive but by "accident" since he cannot control his temper?think of all the worst case scenarios and then think if you want to be with a guy who is obsessed with video games, does not spend quality time with you, treats you poorly, takes out his stress or bad day on you and gets aggrivated with you? even if you love him please leave him and i am giving you this advice as a friend since i am 22 also and in college, because he is pushing you away and throwing away the good relationship he has or by his actions he seems not to care for you anymore.. he takes you for granted and you are his outlet to release his stress and anger and bad day and nothing more... if he actually loved you he would spend time with you and would not treat you so poorly or take out his bad day on you but rather act nice, sweet, would not curse if he knew you hated it !\n\n\ningrid
332847
He sure sounds like a spoiled brat to me. Have brother with the same problem.  Well, 1 thing is for sure: cuddling him like a baby will only reinforce his present behavior.  Forgive me for saying this but his attitude reflects the way he was being brought up.  You might want to explore a different approach than the 1 you guys are used to...probably a firmer approach? you can't be wishy-washy about your decision 'coz he won't take you seriously.  Be harsh if you have to be harsh...if you really love him, find the courage to hurt him for his own good. you can't be there for him forever...if you ask me, son or not at his age he should stop living a parasitic life and should be kicked out of the house. good luck.
201462
Not good.  First, he is taking you for granted.  He sees no consequences for his actions and treats you like the dog that gets kicked for no good reason.  He may have frustrations, but has failed to learn or remember who really cares for him above all others.  This is a sign of emotional immaturity.  He needs a wake up call and needs to grow up.  How would he feel if the shoe where on the other foot?  He probably wouldn't stand for it, so why should you?  Don't.  The next time he pulls this crap, I suggest you react in a calm, yet defiant manner by explaining that you care for him, while he seems to have forgotten what a healthy supportive relationship is.  If he wants someone to take out his anger on, then he's got the wrong woman.  End of story, so no more of this behavior against me...no hard feelings.
953791
Girl tell me about it, my bf of 2 years is here and DONT EVEN WANT TO BE HERE BUT KEEPS PRETENDING THAT HE DOES. And to top it off, he'd rather be with his family who treats him, me and my son fuck*ed up for no reason.  Hes leaving to go there.  He messed it up this year and last year...everytime I say he couldnt possibly make me feel any lower he finds a way to! I dont get it.