Do you have kids?  If so, what is the funniest thing they ever said?
405840
My 5 year old daughter and I went to the local Blockbuster one evening to rent some movies.  She picked out a Disney flick, and I rented Thirteen Ghosts (if you've seen it, you know its not for kids).  Anyway, when she saw the cover, she thought it looked "cool" and asked if she could watch it with me.  I told her no, that this movie was only for adults.  The next day in school, she told the teacher that we had rented movies, but that "Dad said I wasn't allowed to watch the adult movies".  Needless to say, she came home with a note, basically asking (tactfully) what she had said, in a round-about way asking if my wife and I were into porno flicks.  I thought it was hysterical - I laughed and laughed.  Art Linkleter was right - kids say the darn'dest things.  We still get a good chuckle from that story to this very day!
364146
I used to threaten my kids with unbuttoning their belly button and letting their guts fall out!  lol
1036139
i just received this joke from a text message..\n\nthere is this boyfriend and girlfriend..\nbf: "hon, let's do 69!"\ngf: "what is 69?"\nbf: "it's easy.."\n\nthen they positioned theirselves..\nwhile in that position, the boy farted 4 times..\n\nthen the girl reacted and said "omg! i cant do this anymore! i cant take anymore the remaining 65!"\n\nlolz..
652012
It wasn't really the question that was funny although it was an excellent question, it was the answers that were hilarious. It is in the  toddlers and preschoolers(pregnancy and parenting) section of Yahoo answers. I haven't laughed so much in such a long time. Check it out.\n\nSorry, the question was;What are some embarrasing things that your kids has ever done out in public or to you.
579403
Really funny \nI laughed out loud
378739
Last year, during thanksgiving, my brother and I were sitting in our parents living room.  His 3 year old son was hitting a wiffle ball with a bat across the room, and it was hit directly at me, where I caught it.  At that moment my brother declared, "That's my retirement".\nNot 2 seconds passed, my 2 year old son came out of the next room, and tackled my nephew - full force - to the ground like a defensive lineman.  My son then pointed to my nephew and said, "ahaa" and then ran back to the other room.\n\nI looked at my older brother and smiled and said, "that's my retirement."\n\nIt was a moment of pride...and I soaked up every minute.
1169984
Little Johnny was passing his parents' bedroom in the middle of the night, in search of a glass of water. Hearing a lot of moaning and thumping, he peeked in and caught his folks in The Act. \n\nBefore his dad could even react, Little Johnny exclaimed, "Oh, boy! Horsie ride! Daddy, can I ride on your back?" Relieved that Johnny was not asking more uncomfortable questions, and seeing the opportunity not to break his stride, Daddy agreed.\n\nJohnny hopped on and Daddy started going to town. Pretty soon Mommy started moaning and gasping. \n\nJohnny cried out, "Hang on tight, Daddy! This is the part where me and the milkman usually get bucked off!"
111832
When telling my supervisor that I was pregnant with my 2nd child, I got a gasp and a "Was this PLANNED?"\n\n1) yes\n2) none of your business!\n3) I had been married for a while at this point, hello!\n4) how rude!
1181429
a grand baby?\n\nLOL\njust kidding\n\nbut that was the best gift i ever got! Beautiful grandchildren.
729788
OMG thats the funniest damn thing ever...and uve had some good ones! lol I just got my coffee all over my desk/computer! lol he he i couldnt even answer the phone i was laughing so hard! lol good way 2 start a monday!\n\n♥
618991
Me and my husband use the term Flocking to replace f***ing when we are in front of our kids. LOL\n\nMy dad is famous for making up his own words.  So when we are talking and we have nothing else to add to the conversation, we said "ska-hoo-ba-deep".  Yeah I know we are weird...
409203
I've stubbed my toes on a lot of things, but the worst was when I stubbed my PINKY TOE (the weakest of them all) on our foot-stool leg. I went to say god-dam*ed mother f-er, but my mom was in the room and i ended up saying something more along the lines of "god-dan mmmmmmmmfffffer" She just stared at me.\n\nThe best was when in a really random moment I cried out "flibber-me-jibblets". It was so funny I kept it with me and I still use it every now and then. Although around the time it first happened I would say it without thinking about it.
485192
don't parents beat their kids anymore?......that's some funny s-h-i-t!!!    evidently not, cause i be damn if my kids dress like that
1161995
are ya trying to be funny or just stupid???!!...anyway...maybe YOU SHOULD KILL YOURSELF....leave the babies ALONE..idiot...
927950
These were funnier when my 5year old told me them
965045
Hi!\n\nThat's a gud un!!\n\nI'm gonna tell the kids that one in the morning - they'll love it!!\n\nThanks for the giggle!!
803902
One of my personal favorites is from "Zoolander":\n"You can derelict my balls, capi-tan." LOL!!!\n\n*Edit*\nOh, I just thought of another funny one from "Ace Ventura: Pet Detective":\nLois: "How would you like it if I made your life a living hell?"\nAce: "Well, Lois, I'm not quite ready for a relationship right now, but maybe I'll give you a call sometime. Your number still 911?" LOL!!!\nPs. Thanks for the great question. You should get some funny answers.