I am currently not involved with my kids father, he has done so much but now he wants to be with me, should I?
396488
Your situation sounds like mine!  The father of my kids basically turned his back on us.  He ran off to live his life and complete his education while leaving us behind.  Next thing I know, he admits to having a child by someone else (after the kid was almost two years old).  I could go on and on about the situation, but I won't.  Now he wants me back because he can't find a decent female that will accept a guy with three kids AND bad finances!!!  Ha, ha, ha!!  It's so funny!  Before, the man was telling me all of the reasons that I wasn't good enough for him!  During a recent conversation, he even admitted that, at one time, he thought that he was better than me!!!  Now, he's always whining about how he thinks that we should raise our kids together, which, I admit would be a good thing.  But, I know that he wants that for the wrong reason, only for his convenience.  I could go on and on, but this is about you, not me!!  Sorry!!!  What I'm TRYING to say is that if we weren't good enough for them before, we're not good enough for them now (or in other words, we're too good for them now)!!!  I don't know exactly what your children's father did, but if he chose to run off and leave y'all to live his life as he pleased, then I don't think it will be worth your time to fool with him.  Invest your time into becoming as successful as you want to be and into finding a man that will love and respect you and your child or children!
702000
If he didn't want to get married before - he sure isn't going to marry you now ***and raise some guys kid***  That ain't gonna happen, sweetie.\nPut the shoe on the other foot: Would you do that for him?  \nMove on.  Raise the child alone.  Use better judgement in the future so your child won't have to suffer for your mistakes.  The child already has to grow up without his real father.  \nDon't feel bad, you are just one in a million who have done the same thing.  Life goes on.
783330
I personally think you have made a smart move and are taking responsibility for what is yours. I would NOT stay with or talk with the ex girlfriend. (why mess up what you are trying to recreate). I can understand why you were made at your wife, but she is your wife and more importantly the daughter is yours.
382497
Be grateful that he isn't a deadbeat daddy for one thing! Talk to him about how you feel. I don't know the specifics about your relationship, but think about WHY you feel he is obligated to his baby's mother. Of course you should understand that he has a responsibility to his son.
1034839
Honey, I dont know if i completley understand the question..i"m guessing he is a father, then maybe he might want to be w/ the kids, and if your the mother then your doing the right thing by wanting to be w/ him on his day. But sounds to me, it's not a big deal to him.  Not cool.
252710
The answer is in the question, just tell him that he can be a father withou you living with him. You're able to be on your own at this time and his guilt shouldn't be your burden to carry. He hasn't always been there and should respect that you still want to maintain a Father - Daughter relationship with him on your terms. You deserve the right to live your life as you choose.
930610
That is a hard thing to go through.  If you know deep in your heart that you guys cannot make it work then you really need to move on and let him do so too.  He's the father of your child, you will always love him for that and hating to see him with someone else is only natural, it kind of like a territory thing.  You probably feel like it's okay for you to move on but it pisses you off that he is.  There's just so much history there that it's going to take time but if you know for a fact that it will not work then wouldn't you want to see him happy with someone then miserable with no one.  You have to also think about that little girl.  Are you guys better parents when you're apart or when you guys are together.  If the answer to that is apart then no matter how much you love him, you can't be with him because of your child's best interest.  \n\nSit down with him and talk about this, seriously and not a passing word here or there and not while you guys are at the park with your daughter.  Tell him that you would like to see him alone, just the two of you to discuss the future of your family.  Really sit down together, not to get intimate, and discuss all the pros and cons of being together or not and then work on it from there.\n\nGood luck to you!
103666
speak of his good qualities and how you need him around as you have dependant children etc... speak from yr heart good luck
1155667
ARE YOU HEARTLESS??? omg dont do it.  later you might laugh but in a few years youll think back and think 'did that kid really deserve it?'\nso seriously. unless hes a jerk and needs it to dent his ego, or he cheated on someone u know or something, then DONT DO IT\nyoull regret it
159661
If you are comfortable with doing that then do it, but I would get a lawyer involved to make sure that you can see your children and get it in writing. They will always know you as their dad and im sure you love them alot, and they are just lucky enough to have another man that loves them just as much as you do.
535933
step children are always complicated if there a little older when you start a relationship,however if you have been with his father for a while and he was only quite young when the two of you got together then you can speak to him more freely,sit down talk to him about things he might like to do take an intrest in what he likes to do and try to do some if any just one of those things with him regulary so that he can see you do like him and what to be a part of him because you do have his daddy and he would feel threateneed by that at the moment,
1022663
Hard to say, since I don't know the background, but my intution says walk away. I also have a feeling that you might not be able to walk away any more than he has. He may keep coming back, but you keep letting him...what's up with that? If you two had a relationship based on true respect and understanding, then there would probably not be the back and forth stuff.  One thing is for sure, do not let him back just because of your daughter. Kids watch us for a model on how to handle their realtionships. You would be surprised how many things get planted in those little brains...... You know how much you've hurt over this on-again-off-again stuff, and you wouldn't want to see her with any man but one who loves her and is dedicated to her for life right??\nSo, then you must model that in your own relationship.  I am a single mother, and I had a very up and down relationship with a guy for awhile. I found it hard to walk away from it, because I loved him, but in the end, the love for myself and my son won out.... it can for you too.  \nGood luck, and don't expect things to go smoothly either way. This has obviously been a very important person to you, so if you stay together, you'll have alot of work to do, and if you walk away, you'll have a lot of healing!! You can do it though-- put yourself first!!
85653
You need to decide if your in this relationship for the long haul.  If you are then his kid is a major part of his life and should be in yours.  While I know you can't be on call all the time you can help him make arrangements for getting around.  He is also going to have to adjust his life for a few months and realize that there may be times when he simply can't be some where.  However, he should always be there for his kid and if your committed to this relationship so should you.
245864
YES IT IS OK YOU ARE NOT IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH HIM, AND YOU HAVE A RIGHT TO BE HAPPY. JUST BECAUSE YOU HAVE A BABY FROM SOMEONE DOES NOT MEAN THAT YOU HAVE TO STAY WITH HIM. JUST MAKE SURE THAT THE PERSON WHOM DECIDE TO DATE IS LOVING AND CARING TO YOU AND YOUR CHILD.
1179960
None .  I'm sorry you have to go through something like that . I will remember you in my Prayers tonight . My kids went through that and now they don't speak to him b/c of empty promise's on his part .But my kids are fine and they have a awesome father in there life that Loves them more than words can say . I pray that is what will happen in your life . May God Bless and Keep you in his warm embrace . Rest in knowing that he is the one missing out not you.
838485
this is a tough situation...I'm in one similar.  I would tell him how you feel...DON'T give him an ultimatum on choosing his kids or you because chances are you will loose.  Maybe you guys can work something out where half the time you spend with his kids and the other half is just you two.  You have to let him know how you feel though otherwise you'll go crazy and be bitter about him not spending any alone time w/you.
914598
He kind of sounds like a creep. Think about it, he has a kid and is with some other girl everyday. He is not thinking about you. I know that hurts, but please realize that you can do better. Try to find a nice guy who can be respectful and loving to you and your child. This man obviously has no family values. He does not listen to you, does not care enough to be a full time father and also does not listen to his own family's opinion. Dump the loser!!!