how to deal with an money hungry  mother?
412093
You seriously need to make some serious changes. You have to create boundaries. It sounds like the requests you have made are falling on deaf hears. It seems to me you are trying to make everyone happy except yourself. Tell them if you are going to live in my house these are the rules if they don't like them they can leave. When your mom came back you could of asked her why are you here? When she said why do i have to tell them to pay the electric bill, it was because she is the one who invited them to stay. The things you are going to have to do will be uncomfortable. Your family will not like the new assertive you. Your mom is dependent on you and you are her co dependent. When she threatened you by saying she was going to leave and you said fine go ahead she was testing you. She did leave but she came back and you let her stay. So now what you say and what she says and your actions don't match. It's like when a parent tells his child no but then lets them have what they want. You have to back up what you say with actions and stick to them. You have fallen into the role of parent. You are not the parent you are the child but now your mom is acting like the child and now you are her parent. I think she should help you more. Do you want your brothers there? You did nothing wrong what i think you possibly feel is guilt because it is your mother and you feel obligated but your not obligated. No one should be taken advantage of.
458498
Since she is saying you can't go out, I'm assuming you still live with her. I'd say what you need to do is move out. Two kids, a FT job and school is a pretty big amount of responsibility, yes, but if you're relying on her heavily as unpaid daycare and free rent, she will be able to continue to lord it over you and with a certain amount of justification.\n\nYou're sorta in a position where you've gotta pick your battles. You can attempt to sit down with her and have a mature conversation about how far you've come and what your future plans are, and that you do have a lot of responsibility, and you need time out with your friends to wind down now and then. I personally would either skip the tattoo for now - make it something that will be a 21st birthday present to yourself.\n\non the other hand, if i'm right that she is providing room, meals, and/or daycare to you free, you really AREN'T being a full-fledged adult. My advice to you is to move out and BE a grown up for real. I can tell you from personal experience that ANYONE can figure out a way to make this happen. find low-income housing, check in with WIC for help on some expenses, get the kids' dad to provide some support, etc. there are tons of resources out there if you look. To be a real adult you MAY have to go on welfare for a while, you may have to live in a much different type of situation than you are used to, but you'll be truly independent and self-sufficient. plus if you are no longer a dependent on your mother, she can't claim you on her taxes, which means you'll be totally seperate from you and you can start applying for need-based financial aid for school.\n\nNow, all this said, maybe you already are living on your own, she isn't babysitting or doing other stuff for you free, and she's just all up in your business. if that is the case, i'd just lay it on the line in no uncertain terms. i did that with my mother and we didn't talk for several months. she was furious that i would stand up to her. but i was totally on my own - she had no reason to rule my life. eventually she realized this and we're great now. and in your case, she'd probably come around sooner cause she'd miss the grandkids too. anyhow.\n\neither way, good luck. parents can be more exhausting than kids sometimes...
215786
Clean your moms purse out....that always worked for me. Just don't tell her ahead of time, she'll like the surprise. Oh, and don't forget the wallet!
919978
It's hard to like a parent like that. Sure you love them because they're the person that brought you into this world but your mom sounds self absorbed and miserable. Not much you can do about that and definitely don't take it personally. SHE has the problem.Shes too wrapped up in her own self to take notice of you and the sad thing is that that kind of behavior is HER loss.Keep the phonecalls short put a timer on in your kitchen when you know you're going to talk to her.Feel free to interupt her  and start talking about your own life whether you think she's interested in it or not.You weren't put on the earth only to service her needs. If she sounds lonely make brief suggestions for her to join some groups or other practical solutions to her problems.If she starts up with the same old stuff again the next time that you talk to her interupt her and tell her that she already told you about that and you want to know when she's going to do something about it.It might sound mean but it's really not.Not allowing her to go on and on is being kind to yourself and it forces her to  get the fact that you're not willing to listen to her if shes not willing to try to make the effort to solve her own problems.Good luck...
367521
Sorry, about your mom. You must help her, but not only that you must be with her all the time and she must know that she can rely on you. Tell her that you love her - that is the most important, she must know you still care about her, and can be a good stimul for her to quit!
186885
Hey thats terrible that she is upset on mothers day. Could you get her flowers and cook her a meal. Get out the family photos and sit down with box of chocotates. Go over all the funny things and have a great old laf and remember the good old days.  And most of all remind her that she is the best mother in the whole world
698402
Cook up a homemade thankisgiving meal yourself. Go to allrecipes.com or a magazine and surprise your mom. It doesn't have to be lavish.\n\nI am not being mean here, your mother had you and believe you me even if I owed my mom 100s of dollars, she spent 100s of thousands on me and my lifetime. Just limit how much you give. Happy T Day!!!
673445
Your story breaks my heart, and the sad thing is, so many people across the country have a similar story. People today have not been properly taught to manage money. It's also pretty difficult since cost of living increases have risen exponentially and pay at most jobs has increased minimally if at all.\n\nCredit cards are a very dangerous thing. My best advice is to cut spending to a minimal. Cut out the things you don't need. Make out a monthly budget for you and your family and stick to it as best you can. Allow for emergency and a little for entertainment, but be careful about spending more than you need to.\n\nIt's OK to rely on family and friends for help. Ask people to babysit for you when you need them to. Have them help you look for a new, better job.\n\nIt's going to be an uphill battle, but you can do it. You have to for yourself and for your kids. Good luck. :-)
1112354
Well she should definately go to citizen advice bureau, she'll get good advice from them.\nIf she isn't entitled to the extra she should take it from the childs allowance, clothes allowance etc. She should tell him they have to last longer as she can't afford to buy now because HE has got himself excluded and costing her extra money. She must teach him to take responsibility for his own actions. If he wants to re-gain this clothes allowance, or pocket money or whatever she takes, then he has to get a job to pay her.\nHe is old enough to work, my eldest wanted extra money as I struggle. She got a job to buy herself what I couldn't afford and it was the encouragement for three of my others too. They love their independance and the thought of earning for themselves too. They also appreciate things more now because THEY HAD TO WORK FOR IT!!!!!\nHe has to learn to grow up, she is the perfect teacher to give him that push!\nGive her my wishes, and God Bless YOU for being a thoughtful friend to seek advice.
822220
I think you have a problem. You have already made the comment that she owes every credit card company, and likes the expensive stuff, etc. Does she have a job, a way to pay for this stuff. She is spending more than she is making. From what you are saying on here, she is after your money.\n\nDo you your self like the down to earth type of stuff? Well try this and see what happens: Take her out to eat at McDonald's once in awhile, take her shopping to Wal-Mart, go for walks in the park, set at home a few times and watch a movie together on the sofa. What I am saying here is have fun and do "fun" things BUT very cheap fun. Ask her is she cooks at home or goes out to eat all the time. Ask her if she has ever worked in the garden or yard, that is a good sign there to see how she will react to that. If she ever makes a comment about doing some of the finer things in life instead of doing this cheaper stuff, then I would say that she is after your money and how sad that would be.\n\nWith me I am satified with the cheaper stuff and staying at home, working in the garden and yard work. As a matter of fact, lets say that I did met someone that had "money" so what, I would rather live the cheaper life and grow things in a garden, go to McDonald's for a .99 burger, buy a pair of jeans at Wal-Mart for 9.99. I can make money stretch, and have fun too. Don't get me wrong, it is nice to have money when you do need it. Like if some thing brakes, you can either get it fixed or get a new one, but that is different.\n\nWell I hope I have been of some help to you with this, heck, I'm just a good old country woman myself. I don't need the finer things in life. Money don't buy love, it don't keep you warm on a cold night.
816026
Evaluate the relationship; ask yourself: Is this woman the "one"?  If she is does she see you as the one?  Is it a win-win situation?  Or, are you losing.  Judge this by things that have happened; avoid your personal feelings as much as possible.  Men pay for it; I don't care what anyone says to the contrary.  Women do expect to be treated generously.  Also you use the word "must"; does that mean you can't afford her?  If that's the case then you either have to find a way to support her, or find the strength to leave her if she is not open to compromise.  If your crazy about her, ie. you need her to be the mother of your children, then you may need to take desparate measures.  I think you know what I mean.   The goal is to make her: a. see your intensity b. realize her necessity (to your life) c. understand that you will more than be able meet her needs in the future.  \nHope this helps.
17538
If the mother of the children is harassing you over child support I recommend you take the matter to court and get court ordered child support.  This will prevent her from continuously requesting more money and it will clearly define what you are responsible for paying.  They usually offer to have the money taken right out of your paycheck automatically so there shouldn't be any problems with her claiming that you didn't pay.
525304
Tell them you don't have the money. They won't want to cover expenses for you, so they won't beg you to tag along.
1160106
Talk to your mother....you need help
1087499
Talk to her...first you need to be honest with yourself if you your usually a bad kid, acknowledge that and tell her how much it hurts you to see you dissapoint her and therefore want help to change. If your whine alot and complain about the world, and claim everything is everyone else fault (which if you are your probably like nope...not me =)) lol, but if she says you are talk to her about the future and how you're maturing and realized that you have to take control and except responsibilities. If your a pretty decent kid though but I guess she doesn't like your BF I honestly think you should listen to her reasons why whether you think she "knows him", if thier superficial reasons like he's not your race or too poor or some bull like that then your mom's an @-- (sry to say) but therefore has no more credibilty on her opinions of people. If it's because your BF is too old, a dog, something like that, your mom has wisdom and experience and trust me she IS right. I don't really know what you n your mom's problem is so I tried touching on random things, hopefully some of thoserandom thing's hit you and it helped, thanks and I hope you and your mom works things out, a girl no matter how old, can never live without her mother =)
541711
If you pay rent then that is your home too! If your mom is not planning on helping to pay your sister's portion, then she has not right to ask you to pay anymore than you pay now. Yes, family helps family but if you can't afford it, what else can you do?
7807
How could you charge your elderly parent for rent  and still look at yourself in the mirror? Before you charge your mom rent, think of all the things she supplied to you and for you since she gave birth to you. It's not easy raising children and to charge your own mother to stay in your home is very disrespectful, dishonorable.  Do unto others as you would have done unto you. I do not mean to sound harsh but I could never charge my parents for anything because I know and understand what they sacrificed for me.\n\nA parent with alzheimers is devastating for not only you and your family but your mother as well. Instead of charging her rent maybe you could set aside some of her funds towards her medical expenses or other care and activities she will need in the future.