The squirrel ......??
405760
get an attack dog, train it to hunt squirrels. then when you catch it you can eat a whole packet of biscuits in front of it and make it cry.
492581
squirrel nut zippers\n\nthat's weird ... this has been asked a bunch today ... I have to wonder if it's part of a trivia game somewhere
329224
Hey kiddo! I love to watch birds too! I put up a couple of hanging feeders from my tree. The squirrel proof one. It has springs on it so when a squirrel jumping on it, then feeders trays close. I've got squirrel food for them anyway, they can munch on their peanuts and sunflower seed chips.\nHave a great set of Binoculars. I've got a small set and keep them right on the window sill ready to use at a flying "What's was that?" moment. It's very relaxing to bird watch and a fun thing to do. Wish more kids did it, they probably be in a lot less trouble!\nIf your going to put up a feeder, figure out what birds are in your area, and buy the right feed that attracts them.\nSince your favorite is a Indigo Bunting and if there in your area my book says they like peanuts, millet and seeds. Fruits too. So throw some of that around and see what happens!\nHappy Bird Watching LOL\nSmileyCat : )\nThanks for the lesson on your favorite bird.\nI'll be talking to yha!
1017206
A really ugly tomcat trying to get it on with our cat who was wearing a home-made chastity belt at the time.\n\nFor the full story, see\nhttp://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AlqYnUW2w4ZF1CkWcQPQbVXsy6IX?qid=20060616135108AA9kd30\n\nJust picturing should be enough to make you laugh.
807431
How much is that Doggie in the window, \nIt;s really nothing you see,\nIt might be a Pomeranian or a Pit-Bull\nA real Indian delicacy.\nHow is that for an Indian Joke?\nSorry, but I had to respond to your response for my jokes, Hope I offended you this time. NOT Take care. BASSCATCHER.
1091673
A student in a classroom is chosen by the teacher for an illustration on her \nlesson.\n\n"Timmy, look outside, do you see the grass?"\nTimmy replies, "Yes, I see the grass."\n"Ok, look up, do you see the sky outside?"\nTimmy replies, "Yes, I see the sky."\n"Ok, do you see God?"\nTimmy replies, "No, I don't see God."\n"Ok, so that would mean God doesn't exist."\n\nAnother student raises his hand and asks to try an illustraion of his own. \nThe teacher agrees.\n\n"Timmy, do you see the grass outside?"\nTimmy replies, "Yes, I see the grass."\n"Ok, do you see the sky outside?"\nTimmy replies, "Yes, I see the sky."\n"Ok, do you see the teacher's head?"\nTimmy replies, "Yes, I see the teacher's head."\n"Ok, do you see the teacher's brain?"\nTimmy replies, "No, I don't see the teacher's brain."\n"Ok, based on what you were just tought, the teacher doesn't have a brain!"\n\nMoral-\nMoral of this story is,just because you cant see some thing doesnt mean it \ndoesnt exist,just means you cant always see it,like air,or God,or your \nbrains or hearts.\nThere were four country churches in a small Texas town:\nThe Presbyterian Church, the Baptist Church, the Methodist Church and the \nRoman Catholic church. Each church was overrun with pesky squirrels.\n\nOne day, the Presbyterian Church called a meeting to decide what to do about \nthe squirrels. After much prayer and consideration they determined that the \nsquirrels were predestined to be there and they shouldn't interfere with \nGod's Divine will.\n\nIn the Methodist Church the squirrels had taken up habitation in the \nbaptistery Bowl. The deacons met and decided to put a cover on the \nbaptistery bowl and drown the squirrels in it. The squirrels escaped somehow \nand there were twice as many there the next week.\n\nThe Baptist group got together and decided that they were not in a position \nto harm any of God's creation. So, they humanely trapped the squirrels! and \nset them free a few miles outside of town. Three days later, the squirrels \nwere back.\n\nBut the Roman Catholic churchcame up with the best and most effective \nsolution. They baptized the squirrels and registered them as members of the \nchurch. Now they only see them on Christmas and Easter.\nA priest, who wanted to raise money for his church, was told there was a \n>fortune in horse racing, and so he decided to buy a horse and enter it in \n>some races. However, at the local auction, the going price for horses was \n>so steep that he decided to buy a donkey instead. Although he had some \n>doubts, the priest figured that he might as well enter the animal in a race \n>just to see how it would do. To his surprise the donkey came in second.\n>\n>The next day the headlines read: PRIEST'S ASS SHOWS\n>\n>The priest was so pleased that he entered the animal in another race, and \n>this time it won.\n>\n>The headline read: PRIEST'S ASS OUT IN FRONT\n>\n>The bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the \n>priest not to enter the donkey in another race.\n>\n>The new headline read: BISHOP SCRATCHES PRIEST'S ASS\n>\n>This was too much for the bishop, and he ordered the priest to get rid of \n>the animal. The priest gave the donkey to a nun in a nearby convent.\n>\n>The next day the headline read: NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN\n>\n>The bishop fainted. He told the nun that she would have to dispose of the \n>donkey. After several days, the nun finally sold the beast to a local \n>farmer for $10.\n>\n>The headline read: NUN PEDDLES ASS FOR TEN BUCKS\n>\n>They buried the bishop the next day.\nAn atheist was walking through the woods one day, admiring all that \nevolution had created.  Suddenly he heard a rustling
207991
The house was over run by killer squirrels. Thing was, they couldn't clime. So we, my 2 brothers and I, were having to jump from our beds onto the dressers. We had to swing on our doors to get out of our rooms. We just kept jumping from the different pieces of furniture so we could get out of the house. When I looked down it was just the sea of brown squirrels with really sharp teeth.
521663
it's part of a series of Q&A jokes, actually.\n\nQ: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? \nA: Because he was dead \n\nQ: Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? \nA: Because he was tied to the first monkey\n\nQ: Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? \nA: Peer Pressure\n\nQ: Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree?\nA: Because he was doing a monkey impression\n\n\nit's pretty funny though.
951695
Squirrels are carrying maximum acorns gives you following possibilities:\n\n5,5,5,5,2,2:  or 4 trips by black squirrel, 2 by brown\n5,5,5,3,2,2,2:  or 3 trips by black squirrel, 1 by gray, 3 by brown\n5,5,3,2,3,2,2,2:  or 2 trips by black squirrel, 2 by gray, 4 by brown\n5,3,2,3,2,3,2,2,2:  or 1 trip by black squirrel, 3 by gray, 5 by brown\n3,2,3,2,3,2,3,2,2,2:  or 4 trips by gray squirrel, 6 by brown\n2,2,2,2,2,2,2,2,2,2,2,2:  or 12 trips by brown squirrel\n3,3,2,2,2,2,2,2,2,2,2:  or 2 trips by gray squirrel, 9 by brown\n3,3,3,3,2,2,2,2,2,2:  or 4 trips by gray squirrel, 6 by brown\n3,3,3,3,3,3,2,2,2:  or 6 trips by gray squirrel, 3 by brown\n3,3,3,3,3,3,3,3:  or 8 trips by gray squirrel\n5,3,3,3,3,3,2,2:  or 1 trip by black squirrel, 5 by gray, 2 by brown\n5,5,2,2,2,2,2,2,2:  or 2 trips by black squirrel, 7 by brown\n5,5,3,3,3,3,2:  or 2 trips by black squirrel, 4 by gray, 1 by brown\n5,5,5,3,3,3:  or 3 trips by black squirrel and 3 by gray\n\nThis gives a total of 14 ways if they carry maximum load.  They aren't divided evenly (I hope that's not a requirement).\n\nIf they carry less than maximum load, then it becomes a matter of the different distributions amongst the three squirrels which add up to 24:\n\nbrown = 0, gray = 0, black = 24\nbrown = 0, gray = 1, black = 23\nbrown = 1, gray = 0, black = 23\n...etc...\n\nwhich can be reduced down to the mathematical equation:\n\n1+2+3+4+...+25 = 325 different combinations!\n\n{Now ask why the equation end with "...+25" instead of "...+24"  :-) }
850352
very funny lol ^_^\n\npoor dog\n\nthanks for sharing it
871172
Very much so! But you'd never see Spongebob banging her because sponges don't bang squirrels. &#92;m/
72529
Why did Tigger have his head in the toilet?  Because he was looking for Pooh.\n\n(Sorry if that joke is disgusting, it's the only one I know)
520941
Yes. But try to do it when it is a baby. They can be a wonderful pet. When they grow old they may not like the solitory life. They may require their mate. Either you grow squirrels in a group or dont allove  him to meet his mates. You will defenetely loose him after his sexual maturity. But I personnaly observed that some time they come back not due the affection but for the tasy food. They never can give happyness like dogs or other famous pets.
1136650
I think the second time around the man should pull his waist line out for the donkey to actually see. How could the donkey see if the man was whispering in his ear? I know it could be implied it was done afterwards but the joke would run smoother if it were rewritten. Still not a bad joke. It's been a while since I've heard it.
547075
A Chimp Called Bush ! ;-)\nMy apologies to all Chimps !
447735
Sometimes the questions are better than other times. This is a better question.  Baby squirrels and baby birds also do not leave the nest until they are able to fend for themsleves. And they grow up very fast. I do not know how long it takes a squirrel to grow up, but a baby robin learns to fly in 13 days. Immagine that!!!
730973
Let me help find Timothy.\nHay Timothy,  Hay Timothy,  Hay Timothy, Hay.\n\nNot answering, I guess he is out in the fields with Buckwheat and Alfalfa.