The mixer fell in. I hope you gals don't mine a lot of rum in your puddin?
404925
You are being naughty tonight, but a little rum in my pudding never hurt.
228046
SORRY IF YOU'VE SEEN ME POST THIS ELSEWHERE\n\nThis is a long one, but worth it:\n\nThis guy goes into a bar after a promotion to celebrate with his buddies. Aftr a few drinks he notices, behind the bar, a big jar stuffed with $50 bills, so he asks the bartender about it.\n\nThe bartender replies, "Oh that's just a running bet we have here. You gotta pay $50 into the pot and if you complete 3 tasks, you win the whole jar. As you can see, no one has ever won."\n\nAfter a few more beers and 2 shots of Tequila, the man announces in a slightly tipsy voice, "Screw it, I just got a raise. I can afford to lose $50!" and he slams a $50 on the bar. "OK. What do I gotta do?"\n\n"Well," says the bartender "like I said, there are 3 tasks. First you gotta finish a whole bottle of our homemade 200 proof Fire Water, after that you gotta help my pit bull tied up out back. He's got a sore tooth and you have to go pull it out for him. If you survive THAT, you have to go upstairs and pursuade the landlady upstairs to have sex with you. She's a virgin and she's 106 years old. Raping her is obviously out of the question."\n\n"Fair enough" said the half-drunk man. The alcohol coursing through his veins had emboldened him. "Gimme that Fire Water!" And lo and behold, he managed, to everyone's shock to finish the whole bottle without pause. \n\nBarely able to keep the contents of his stomach down, he was turned and nudged, by the astonished bartender in the direction of the back door, where the dog was tied up outside. The man stumbled drunkenly through the door and bravely slammed it closed behind him. A fierce barking, accompanied by breaking glass, garbage cans smashing, yelling and groaning erupted outside. After a minute or so of this racket, a loud dog yelp, followed by it's whining was heard.\n\nShortly afterwards, the man stumbled back through the door, his clothes torn, blood dripping from multiple bite wounds and looking like he'd been hit by a truck.\n\nThen demanded in a drunken slurred voice, "OK. NOW WHERE'S THAT OLD LADY WITH THE SORE TOOTH?!!"\n\nI'll take my 10 points now.
61266
I'd say no.  Now, some rum in the coconut milk...and some pineapple juice...whip up a pina colads...then you'll feel better.  Unless you drink too many, then you'll feel even wose!  Pray to the porcelain god....
867021
I like On a Juene,but,after Tawqueet's run in the Caulfield Cup, he will be hard to toss.Sorry to see Makybe Diva's not there again.I think she would give this lot a bit to chase as well!
435508
hope she says no?! erm lifes a bi*ch, ya gota get as much out of as you can. if they got in there first then fair play 2 them...sorry mate
1125469
Of course, but not today.  Last night, my neighbors were abducted right in the middle of a game of gin rummy  We were just having such great fun when the beam of light shown through our side window.  It fell on Bob and Janet.  Oh, the surprised look on their faces! In a flash, they were sucked into the light and off into the wide black yonder.\nWe waited a few minutes and then had to re-deal.
764691
a couple of beers goes down well.\nErrr...are you a dude?
796428
spill chuck ???  wots thaat????
1038884
Deutschland ist Weltmeister! Oh, yeah!\nDon't want to brag. I am not even German. But it's time the guys brought home the dough. It would almost be a shame to loose on homeground ;-).
356900
i shave my cowboys scrotum and right now he is drunk in my driveway puking on himself half passed out.  I aint shaving it tonight\noh this is his angel answering
78202
It was great, but I almost had to kick this drunk guys butt, because he was trying to start crap with my hubby. My hubby is a good hearted guy and wouldn't do anything, but believe me I had his back just in case.
1133342
Well I was at a voodoo ritual for my 1st time and had drank quite a bit of Malibu Rum. The voodoo priest was telling us that at times people get possessed and fall out. At the same time I was going to lean against a tree and had my hands deep in my pocket. Well, I missed the tree and couldn't get my hands out of my pockets to stop my fall. There were a lot of people there so of course I was very embarrassed. This guy hops over to me and yells "Are you possessed?" which added to my embarrassment. I finally got up and had dirt and leaves all over the side of my face. Pretty funny as this also was being video taped which I didn't know.
528688
A friend of mine was on Elimidate. He got eliminated in the 2nd round. What a loser... LOL. we all had a big party to watch it, but even he thought it was pretty funny.
929322
Don't worry your pretty little head about us!\nWhen Allah grants us entry into Paradise (Insha-allah), then certainly we will NOT be the losers!
474145
i think somebody put something in my drink
789863
Sure! Have some rum cake! And rum cookies and rum punch and rum pie and rum rum and...\n\nheeheee... \n\nstupid meetings keeping Dragon away from fun JoBu qwestions!
451281
Add alka seltzer to coke and it will explode i think