How to strike a good practical fool proof balance between ME, MY WIFE & her BOYFRIEND ?
406247
MAN,THAT'S A LONG SORRY A.S.S. STORY.
86189
never close the doors of communication. live like two best friends and share your inner thoughts and secrets. don't be afraid to bear your soul ... the good, the bad and the ugly.  and be non-judgmental, understanding and accepting when your spouse does.\n\nwhen problems arise, all of our discussions take place in a bubble bath with a bottle of wine and one rule: no one leaves the tub until the issue is resolved or we agree to disagree. (it's hard to argue in the nude and so easy to kiss and make up)\n\nalways do unto others as you would have them do unto you. in other words, if you wouldn't "eat" it, don't "serve" it.
151150
I would suggest seeking counciling and taking the high road the first time. \n\nYou might learn about why it happen if you read the book by Willard harley Jr. called (His Needs, Her Needs) It is a book about affairs and it does not deal with male infedelity. It also looks into why a wife might cheat. \nFYI women can actually break off an affair easier then men ( if they have a reson to leave the other man) \n\nI guess what your going to have to consider is can you forgive her?\nDid you know what her 5 basic "needs" were? and ignore them. \nDoes she know your 5 basic "NEEDS" were? \n\nDo either of you know each others "LOVE LANGUAGE" \nIf not I would suggest getting professional help. First having a neutral party hwo can referee your disagreement can bring added weight when he/She suggest something to either of you. \n\nNow you also need to understand this problem will not be fixed over night. she has to rebuild trust, and you have to rebuild her "love bank" this takes months if not a year or more. but you may find it was the best investment you ever made. \n\nGod Blessing be with your family.
973112
screw american law.  You don't need a peice of paper from anyone to prove to you YOU are married and want a lifetime commiment from the person you love the most, just tell her she's your wife and hold a ceremony somewhere the both of you find attractive and and share your thoughts on the future and express your love for one another.  And don't forget to continue this thinking in every day for the rest of your life.  Cause thats what it is all about.
762472
personally I like to GENTLY slap my guy upside the back of his head.\n=)\nRemember though...no matter what you decide to do...he may need to figure it out in his OWN time...and only you can decide if thats okay with you.\n\nFor instance...when I let my hubby know he's doing something really wrong and he REALLY needs to stop....sometimes it can take a week before he addresses the problem...and decides to fix it.  I've learned not to get in his face because he's a really smart guy and when he's ready...he always comes around. Everyone takes a different amout of time to admit they are wrong...and to correct their behavior.\n\nBest of luck hun!! :)
750773
Why dont you discuss it with your wife.  You said that she is a sweetie, work it out with her.
485109
Oh man, my hubby and I will be celebrating our 3rd anniversary this Oct and 5 years of being together. It has taken us a long time to figure this one out. The answer sounds so simple but it can take ALLOT of self control and discipline. The key to a successful relationship is having a forgiving, unconditional love for your partner. Being able to accept blame and admit wrong doing and knowing what to do to change is a big key. When we talk "fight" we do not tell the other what we don't like about them but what we recognize they don't like about us. This way its not assigning blame and creating defensive walls but acknowledging wrong and working together to change. We are best friends, lovers, and we embrace all things together as a team. Marriage is the HARDEST thing to do in this journey we call life but I PROMISE it has the largest rewards! My husband and I got divorced last year and realized on the day of our divorce in the courtroom that we were running from our problems and making the biggest mistake of our lives. You have to go THROUGH your problems, you can not avoid them in any way. Good luck to you
499514
Taking time with your spouse!
330000
With compassion, this is your chance to be their hero...step up to the plate and supprise everyone with the extra effort, all are noticing about how your handling this circumstance...if for no other reason, because its your duty as their spouse...you need to get what ever it is out of your mind that would allow you to lose your cool, because its preventing you from doing whats right.  If you can't do it yourself then hire someone to do it for you...but make sure their taken care of...one day the shoe will be on the other foot...and what goes around will come around.
183892
first off, thats not polygamy. And unless everything is on the table its not polyamory. What you are doing is cheating unless you have permission from your wife. If you don't have her blessing? You're an idiot playing with dynomite
268811
Just tell her. If you're married she'll understand and listen to what you have to say.
584883
Setting ground rules is important - as is following through with these. Discuss with your husband that it takes TWO to make a marriage work well and that accepting responsibility is an integral part to it. Make it very clear that you will not tolerate irresponsible behavior and lead by example by doing specific things to show him what responsibility entails. When he does act responsibly acknowledge such behavior with specific praise. This will help him realise exactly the kind of things that you expect from him. Remember: things are hardly likely to change overnight as habitual behaviors take time to establish. So keep at it and before long you will be rewarded for your persistence. Goodluck! :-)
351930
Always have open communication with her meaning, talk to her about any and everything! She should not only be your wife, and lover but your best friend! Just cause you say I do dont give either one of you the right to treat each other different! To keep the spark in the marriage always keep suprize in the relationship like with cards, flowers, sweet gifts like perfume (just because)! Then after ya'll start a family always make sure to keep a date once a week at least every two weeks just for you two to have some alone time that is much needed. When you introduce a family which is wonderful this, is when husband and wife tend to grow apart because they are just caught up in everyday life! I know that my husband and myself have just started date night two months ago because we never had anytime for us with three active children and it has worked like a charm. Lend a hand around the house too even, if she dont work keeping a house and tending to errands are a job among themselves! Also, remember when the good turns bad work through it together even the small stuff cause, like it or not there is no perfect marriage and things will happen just work through it together!! Always remember why you fell in love with you financee that made you want to spend the rest of your life with her and you two will be just fine! If you want to do something really special for her next week on your wedding day send her on a scavenger hunt the day before the wedding to different little stores where you have already went in and made a small purchase of you undying love for her also leave a nice card with the next clue to the next stop! Make the last card and the last stop be the day of the wedding where you leave her a card professing your undying love and a gift certificate in the card for the two of you to go and have a casual picture made for the new home! Its nice to know that these days guys are concerned when it comes to saying I DO!! Good Luck to you and your new bride and may yall have many good memories to come!Oh yeah LAST BUT THE MOST IMPORTANT always keep the good LORD in your relationship because he is the one that blessed us with life and forgives us of our sins!
377080
I'm a family law attorney, so this is an easy one for me.  How about a pre-nuptial agreement that protects your interests.  Also, some pre-marital financial planning with investments that would protect you would be reasonable.\n\nFeel free to e-mail me if you have other questions.
292964
Ask the spouse or a relative.
880637
Both are new to each other, so firstly I suggest u to understand your wife, her likes and dislikes, tell her ur ambitions, goals, etc about your future plans how to lead ur life, so that u both would be leading a happy life in future without any divercifications of mind, be crystal clean in your talks now only.
1088008
as long as your wife feels OK with the idea then just hang lose. just remember the man up will really disagree. your marriage to your wife not to the colony. just think about it we are not in the days to be exploring in life and letting our Love's hang around other people that may have more life in them and take away your wife.