I love my wife and I have depression issues, i found out tonight that i make her unhappy, i don't want to loos
404009
First of all you need to get over your depression mate, nobody wants a depressed person around.\n\nDepression is all in the mind and doctors and phsycies like to go on saying it's an illness or whatever to make money out of you, making things worse on the person.\n\nYou are depressed? Yes I believe that you may be depressed, but to stay that way is unacceptable!\n\nWhat is getting you depressed? Right now it's you wife being unhappy right? You need to find out what got you depressed before!\n\nE.G:\nIs it cause you don't get paid enough? If so go ask your boss for a boss for a raise, if you haven't asked cause you afraid, get over it, go ask and you'll sort this problem out, or even get another job.\n\nAnother E.G.\nAre you depressed cause someone died and you can't get over it? Well the answer is simple... GET OVER IT! Cry, shout, scream whatever, get the F over it!\n\nIf you are seeing a doctor or Phsycologist for your problem, trust me, they don't work, get rid of them and it's you and your mind, the gloves are off! GET THE F OVER IT!\n\nMany people go on to wimper "I can't do it, I need help" Of course you can, you can do anything, I can you can he can she can, we can.\n\nStop being a baby, if you still think you can't get over your depression, or give up trying, then you should just give up your wife, I know it's gonna be hard but just do it, don't think about it!\n\nNEXT... Why are you even entertaining the fact that your wife is talking to her ex? Where are your balls mate? You should be in charge, get up and get some life into yourself, and you'll stop being depressed and your wife will love you, be happy and respect you.
355077
My opinion...feel shame, before cheating ur wife
173176
Your wife is not talking probably because she is trying to "process" what she's just found out; I'm sure it was a big shock.  The best thing you can do for her right now is just be supportive, listen when she is ready to talk, and let her know that you will support her in any therapy or medications she has to take to get better.  Never ever down her for taking "crazy pills" like my ex-husband did when I was diagnosed with major depression.  Don't push her to hard right now, just love her, hold her and reassure her that you stand behind her 100 percent, no matter what happens.  God Bless the two of you and I pray that she finds the right help she needs.  This is not the end of her life, she can function quite normally (as I have done) with the proper medication and counseling.  Good luck.
603874
ya  sometimes it is but if u  feel  that way u need too open up communication with your spouse. and tell  them how u really feel.  do not  bottle it up inside.
762629
Now what exactly is she unhappy with?  My guess is she's not giving you the full story.  Did she suddenly decide that a married life and the responsibilities that go with it, is not what she wanted in the first place?  Was she upset with you because you were gone and she was feeling lonely?  Is there another man in the picture?  If you are even going to try to save your marriage, you need to do a heart to heart talk with her and find out what she wants out of the marriage.  If she wants out, then I guess she has made her choice.  Not much you can do about it then.
1170014
ignore the guy who said cheat on your wife, please. I am married with 6 kids and i am sure my husband would say the same thing about me as you did about your wife. The issue is that physical intimacy is not very important to some women. it is not to me. the emotional aspect is what causes the physical aspect to be an issue. there is nothing wrong with you, though. as a mother i can say with certainty that i feel like i do most of everything by myself. even though my husband thinks that he is helping. i feel like i care more about everything than he does. I try to tell him he doesnt understand but, he takes it personally. he says whats wrong with ME, are u still attracted to me(physically). The answer is still yes but the emotion aspect is all WRONG. Try making uniteruptted time with your wife first. NO KIDS! and tell her that you noticed that she seems to be unhappy(or something similar). Ask her how she FEELS. dont mention the phisical aspect to her it will only upset her. tell her you want to make her happy again and ask what you can do. telll her you dont know how she is feeling but you want to help her. be genuine. Chances are it is a feeling thing, not physical as you think it is. if she feels more secure and supported im sure the spark will come back ten fold! my husband is always thinking about the physical. he does love me and care about me but the pysical is where he gets  insecure, like most men. with women it is purley on emotional side. try to leave everything physical out of the conversation. focus on her. let her bring up physical stuff. sometimes when i feel emotionally ignored anything physical just makes me angry, kinda like that is all he cares about is the sexual type stuff and not about me. your wife may feel emotionally negllected. try to focus on her.
997012
talk to a counsellor.\nthis is very unhealthy for both of you.\nshe 's never cheated you and why this bothers you...\ninsecurity...\ndon't let this garbage be back in your house..or you would keep on cleaning it..talk to her and share your feelings..\nbeing in marriage is being one..if one hurts, the other is hurt too... ask for forgiveness and give time with each other.
628274
Now is the time to pray. Really pray. As you see counseling isn't helping. The only one who is able to heal her is God. \nI was depressed most of my life. When I started going to church and praying, God took away the depression and gave me\npeace. A peace of mind. I know what depression does. It will\ndrive you crazy and it takes a toll on the family. Take your wife to a church and let them pray for her. God is going to bless you for being a good and faithful husband. I\napplaud you for your work and devotion. There are not many men who would do that for their wife. If God delivered me from it then He can do the same for her. I'm a living witness. I'm a survivor.
662123
You need to learn to communicate with each other, especially your feelings.  It is possible that for some reason your wife is not trusting you, or is angry with you.  You need to let her know how you feel (frustrated? unconfortable? confused? bewildered?  Only you can know your own feelings).  You also need to explore her feelings with an open mind and heart.\n\nOnce you have had an honest and open exchange about your feelings, only then should you explore the matter at hand.  Sharing your feelings can "tenderize" you and make you more receptive to each other's point of view.
199354
I have anxiety and my husband doesn't suffer from anything...You have a head start...depression is somewhat like anxiety. If she is a girly-girl (like me), give her a good amount of affection, all the while telling and re-telling her that you love her. Sometimes, if my husband's voice is very calm and loving, it will calm me down. She just needs to know that you are there for her. And don't do like my husband and think it's funny for her to freak out so you egg it on. Simply telling her everything is going to be okay...isn't enough. If she starts freaking out too much, just hold her...that's a soothing thing to do. It has been proven to relieve stress. I hope this helps.
733875
Hi.  It sounds as though you have an underlying depression.  I would say that of course you miss your finace when you are away from her but I doubt that is the underlying reason for feeling down when you are away from her.  Just wondering if you have been subtly depressed most of your life (dysthymia).  If you have true clinical depression then it wouldn't matter if you has zillions of dollars, a fantastic job, gorgeous fiance and tons of friends.  Real depression shows no mercy to anyone---no matter how great your life is and all the things that "should" make you happy.   If your body has a chemical imbalance (even a slight one) then nothing on the outside is going to take that empty feeling away.  I would definately talk to a doctor if you are not feeling good.  Doctors today treat depression regularly and are not judgemental.  I know because I have everything to be thankful for, great husband, great son, good health, nice home etc... but for some reason I sometimes have a sad empty feeling that seems to creep in out of nowhere.  That is just mother nature screwing with my physical self.  Being away from our fiance may trigger depression but it is not the underlying cause.
681357
there is obviously a strong and powerful subconscious message you're receiving but you haven't felt strong enough to deal with it.  \n\nthere are a few things going on here:  you feel that she is stronger in the relationship and you go along with what she wants and if she wants the relationship then so be it but anger and resentment is building.\n\nthere are traits that you don't like and you have not had the courage/strenght/assertiveness to speak up and ask for change\n\nyou are unaware of your thoughts and core values and as you're defining them for yourself, you're finding that your wife's aren't necessarily compatible with yours.
468408
I would talk to her about this first, maybe she does not realize she does that and it depends on what your doing, also.  If you love her, be open and honest with her on how this makes you feel and then if she continues doing this, I would find someone that makes me happy.  Good Luck
237581
If your not happy you should not stay with her. Its not fair for you or her. You will probably never be happy and it will only get harder to leave her.
931547
You have answered your own questions above.\n1. you no longer love your wife.\n2. you have been neglected.\n3. your marital relations leave you sleeping alone.\n4. you have started another relationship -although platonic for now, with someone else.\n5. all you need is some guts to tell her the truth and be done with it, why drag it out-not helping you or her.\nHer gambling is HER PROBLEM, not yours, remember that.\ngood luck.
918452
No! Explain your feelings to her, and leave it to her to decide! If she is angered, talk divorce. If she understands, why break a GREAT marriage?
341189
Hey sweety, I'm sure that what you think you're going through is very drastic for you, but keep in mind that your lady is going through it right with you.  She may feel like the fire is out because your isolating yourself and not sharing all your feelings with her.  I have forgive my husband many a bad decision for a couple honest words and a true desire to be in love with me.  I think you know how to fix this if your heart wants it.  Best Wishes