My man is in jail and doing 5 years i love him but what should i do?
409622
Guess it depends on how bad is his crime?  And exactly how much do you LOVE him???  Yup, there's always extenuating circumstances.  It's never cut n dried.  Start with, what do you WANT to do?  Are you willing to wait 5 years for someone who may not be worth waiting for?  Questions, questions......and only YOU are able to answer them.  Any of us, as strangers, can only hope that you ask yourself all these tough questions, so that your're able to make the best decision for yourself.
108699
Sweetheart, I've been in the same boat except I was like 13 and he was 18. You're so very young, and i know you love him and he probably loves you too. But if they catch you even kissing him, he could be put away. Do you know what they do to guys like that in prison? Hopefully you don't. Listen honey, I know you want to be with him forever but trust me in that you're going to get older, your tastes are going to change, you have your whole life ahead of you, and it's not fair to him to make him wait. I had the same situation, and here I am, 7 years later, getting married to the most perfect guy in the world. It took me so long to realize what I wanted in a life partner, but I found it. And the guy I was in love with got married and had a beautiful family. So it all worked out and it can for you too. I'm sure he'll understand.\nBest of luck to you hon.
52454
If you still love her?  I don't think what happened could stop you from loving her assuming you did in the 1st place.\n\nIf you do love her you should stand by her.  She will need you now more than ever.  In any case be supportive.  The bastard that did that to her should be sent to prison so he can experience some "treatment" from the big boys himself!!!
1183088
If you are saying what I think your saying I would get away from that dude. It's only been 5 weeks. If he is doing things he shouldn't be doing and you are hanging around him you are going to get in trouble, or get hurt. I knew a girl once who had a boyfriend who was involved in that crap and she is dead now. Just think this way too, that dude is going to be in prison soon so you won't see him anyways. And that's the truth.
169236
Just stop seeing him! If he keeps going to jail, that isn't good! But, if you are ABSOLUTELY sure he is the one, then consider talking to him about taking responsibility for his actions. But still, I would most likely dump him!! Just like someone said, if you have kids with him, then they would see their dad in jail and that would not set a good example.
475334
Are you sure you want to put yourself in that situation. It doesn't really sound like a start to a healthy relationship.  Why is he in jail? Does the reason he is in there bother you at all?
1066545
You should have a nice long talk with him and give him an ultimatum. If he loves you, he'd do the right think and not do things that are illegal or get him in trouble.  Who do you think will be visiting him when he's in prison? Not his so called friends. YOU.  Nip this is the bud now babe. You want your man honest, healthy and living life to its fullest on the right side of the law. Good luck hun. Do the right thing.
207058
If it's love, you'll wind up waiting no matter what anyone says and you might be right....Babydoll, I don't know your jailbird, so I can't make any comment about whether or not he'd be worth waiting for, but I can tell you this, with absolute certainty: Loving an inmate is a VERY HARD ROAD.Since you've spent some time inside, you already know some of this...it's about slogging through endless paperwork, it's trying to keep up with rules that seem to change every week, it's waiting for incredibly expensive collect phone calls that might or might not come and when he doesn't call, praying with all your heart that the phones in the day room are just either too busy or broken and that he's not hurt or on lockdown, it's becoming obsessive about checking your mail and the heartsick feeling that comes over you when the letter you want so badly isn't there,it's about getting writers cramp and spending $20 a week on stamps and stationary, it's about dealing with either keeping it secret or dealing with disapproval of the relationship everywhere you turn and mostly it means living in a future you can't be sure of and that really does take a toll.\nIf I had a choice, I wouldn't do it, but I've loved the guy for over 20 years and I can't quit now...and I'm almost 40, so it's not as if I'm spending my youth dealing with the Dept.of Corrections...think carefully, Sweetie, it is a hard, hard thing to do and no guarantees.
742295
You will have to earn back his trust a day at a time.  Please- no more writing to inmates.  I am a nurse at a men's prison and most of those guys are totally scuzzy- they are always looking for a scam and may involve you in one.  They have nothing but time on their hands.\n\nIt sounds like you have made a hobby out of "dating".  You need to find some other interests.  Take a drama class,learn to dance like Shakira, or learn a foreign language.  If you think you need therapy to explore some of the decisions you have made then go that route.  That may help your husband trust you more because he will know you are committed to change.
865416
i am  very  sorry  to  hera   this      i know   how  sad  jail  is      i ve  seen  quite  a bit   of  heart breaking   story   / however  ther  is  hope    you  need  to   contact  the  judge    state  attoreny and  a lawyer    i   dont  know his   offence    . however   ther  iss  a  chance that  he  can  be   on  house   arrrest    , if this  happen   its  is  SO VERY IMPORANT  THAT  HE  COMPLISE  100 PERCENT  I   DO   KNOW THAT IF YOU ARE ON  HOUSE ARREST   ITS IS TAKEN VERY SERIOUSLY  IF YOU GET THIS   DONT  LET  HIM  MESS UP  BECAUSE THINGS COULD GET WORSE
338686
Actually, I am... My husband has been an inmate twice since we've met and has just recently been released about a week and a half ago. We have been going through a messy divorce since the 23 of June, last year(our six month wedding anniversary).\n\nThere also was a man that I had known and spent half my life in love with and he was released last summer and is now in Colorado doing great; he didn't waste anytime getting back on his feet.\n\nThey both, by far, are repeat offenders not once, not twice, not even thrice. They both have spent the majority of there lives going in and out of jail and extremely close to prison. The difference between them is that my husband wants to do right and has the faith and ability to do so as well as a lot of potential for success in many areas of his life, but he lacks the understanding of HOW to live differently and the common sense of wise decision making. He isn't doing any of the bad things that he did to get him locked up to begin with, but he is still putting himself in situations that could eventually land him back where he began, claiming that his walk with god is so strong that he can handle the situation, when his family and I all know that his strength will eventually weaken due to where he is choosing to stay. BUT the other guy I spoke of had a safe place to stay and a secure job with in weeks and went as far as a move from California to Colorado to get away from his previous influences and is doing great right now; he even got custody of his 6 year old daughter back.\n\nThese two people are very similar and very different which goes to show that you shou7ldn't judge people by their mistakes; it is our mistakes that make us human. BUT we can be judged by the efforts we take to make things right once given the knowledge, ability, and the freedom to do so.\n\nThe best advice I could give is to go online tro the court website of the county he is convicted in, type his name into the search, and it will pull up his entire criminal history and all other related cases he may have; it's all public record. Also, try and find out what kind of home life he had growing up, because that will play a big role in his decision making process and will give you a better idea of his non-jail personality. I say non-jail personality, because once you're locked up you tend to form what's called a prison mentality which means that you learn to anipulate people into beleiving that what you say is genuine and that they really have rehabilitated and deserve another chance, yet once released they go right back to there old ways. So find out as much as you can about who he used to be and carefully compare him to the person you know him to be now. Ask him what plans he has for when he is released. Most inmates that are serious about the desire to rehabilitate will have already constructed a plan as to where they will stay, how they will get around, where they will work, just general goals and ways of meeting those goals.\n\nFind out when he is supposed to be released and continue writing to him or calling him which ever you prefer and see how he unfolds as a person once released rather than getting involved right away.\n\nIt's not easy, but sometimes you have to see where your heart leads you, just make sure your smarts have brought along a safety net just incase.
1177586
First of all, congratulations on your clean time!  \nIf he has been in prison for 7 years, he is probably extremely nervous about what he will be facing when he gets out. It's easy to maintain a relationship while you are sitting idle, but now he is gonna have to live in the real world and he is gonna be obligated to find a job (no easy task after a conviction), satisfy probation/parole people, and most importantly try to live a lifestyle total foreign to him. He obviously shouldn't be around old friends or old hangouts and all of that is very overwhelming.\nIf you truly want to have a relationship with him I suggest that you are totally supportive and undemanding of him the first month or so.  If he makes good choices, things should go well.\nI'm sure his behavior isn't really about you, he's more than likely nervous, and any real man would feel funny about having to rely on his woman for support for how ever long it takes to get it together.  So just kinda follow his lead at first, but if you see bad choices, END IT immediately. The return to prison rate on parole rate is outrageous, because of the pressure.\n\nGood Luck to Ya'll, hope everything goes well, and your reunion is awesome.!!!!
921178
Depends on what he is in prison for and how much you love each other.If you love him and he is truely wanting to change his ways and loves you then stick with it.Love is worth waiting for but also worth changing for
260928
Hmmm.  This is a tough one.  I can only give you a little bit of personal advice...take it for what it's worth.  I dated a man (and I am not proud of this by ANY means) who was in prison (for fleeing the police.  I know, I know. Please don't judge...I was young and stupid!) I went into this relationship thinking that I would be able to change him. That was the biggest mistake I ever made.  I've learned that no matter how much you try, that person will never change unless THEY want to.  If he doesn't want to change, it's not worth your unhappiness to stay with him. Life is too short to put up with the bulls*it!\n\nOn the other hand, have you tried talking to your man about these issues?  Does he know how you feel?  He may be willing to listen.  Maybe you will need to compromise with him.  Maybe he will be willing to change his ways if you're willing to change a little too.  I'm getting married in November and have come to realize that the only way a relationship will survive is if both people give a little and take a little.  Just be honest to him, and to yourself.  Go with your gut feelings.  Afterall, it's YOU that really matters in the end.  Good luck!!
468886
Hi\n\n    I know this is not what you may want to hear, first of all you said your boyfriend is locked up. He should be happy that you are even sticking by his side while being locked up because as far as I can see what can he do for you while he is locked up. On the other hand if you really love him and want to stick by him totally understandable that is a choice only you can make. I would I advice you to just talk to him and tell him how he makes you feel when he accuse you of things that are not true. If he understands then great if not I would say this realationship is maybe not for you if trust can not be found. I hope I helped!
369117
If it's love, you'll wind up waiting no matter what anyone says and you might be right....Babydoll, I don't know your jailbird, so I can't make any comment about whether or not he'd be worth waiting for, but I can tell you this, with absolute certainty: Loving an inmate is a VERY HARD ROAD...after 7 months, you already know a lot of this....it's about slogging through endless paperwork, it's trying to keep up with rules that seem to change every week, it's waiting for incredibly expensive collect phone calls that might or might not come and when he doesn't call, praying with all your heart that the phones in the day room are just either too busy or broken and that he's not hurt or on lockdown, it's becoming obsessive about checking your mail and the heartsick feeling that comes over you when the letter you want so badly isn't there,it's about getting writers cramp and spending $20 a week on stamps and stationary, it's about dealing with either keeping it secret or dealing with disapproval of the relationship everywhere you turn and mostly it means living in a future you can't be sure of and that really does take a toll.\nIf I had a choice, I wouldn't do it, but I've loved the guy for over 20 years and I can't quit now...and I'm almost 40, so it's not as if I'm spending my youth dealing with the Dept.of Corrections...think carefully, Sweetie, it is a hard, hard thing to do and no guarantees\n\nIf you want input from others who are in the same boat, check out http://www.prisontalk.com
439542
why is he going to jail?? is it some kind of drug thing or violence.. It all depends on you and do you want to wait for him. how long is he going way for? \nmy friend waited 17 months had a jail house wedding and they werent even together a year when he got out and now they are divorced \njust ask you self if its worth you time