how whould you know if a guy is aiming for lust or love?
411446
deprive him of sex....that's the acid test...if he's falling for you, he'll respect you & pursue the relationship..if he leaves, he was only in it for the sex & good riddance....move on to a decent guy, because you never had that one in the first place...you just would've give up your body for nothing.  good luck, sweetie
664344
While there's no clear, fool-proof way to decipher your feelings for someone, there are certain ways to make this distinction clearer for yourself\n\nWrite down everything that you associate with the person you're feeling strongly about. For example, love, butterflies, sex, holding hands, etc. \n\nCircle each attribute with a different color such as red for lust, yellow for infatuation, and green for love. \n\nSee which of the three feelings dominates the page. If one doesn't stand out (like if the distribution seems pretty equal), move on to the following steps for more insight.\n\nRead literature and scriptures on the topic. Questions about love are timeless questions that have consumed mankind throughout the ages and are a major theme in many scriptures, tales from mythology, and literature. Read the story of David and Bathsheba from Jewish scriptures, 1st Corinthians from Christian scriptures, the story of Ali and Fatima, Narcissus and Echo, or Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet\n\nAsk your friends or, if you find it easier, ask a complete and utter stranger, so that you get an honest opinion and an outsider's point of view. Tell that person how you feel, and ask them if it sounds primarily like love, infatuation, or lust. \n\nWatch a movie that relates to your situation like "Cruel Intentions" (which is about lust, and wanting what you can't have), "Down to You" (which is about love and leaving it all down to the other person), "How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days" (which is about none of them really but it's about making a mistake and putting it right), "The Phantom of the Opera" (which is about both lust and infatuation) and, finally, "Titanic" (which is about holding on to someone forever until you die - that is love - bittersweet love). \n\n\nKeep in mind that in most relationships, you're feeling all three (love, infatuation, and lust) all at once, to some degree. \n\nSometimes the person that you love isn't always the person that you want. \n\nTo help you make tough decisions about your relationship, ask someone you trust who has lots of experience with the kind of relationship you want for yourself. For example: \n\nSay you want to be happily married to one person for life. \n\nIf your parents have both been bitterly divorced three times, then they are probably not the ones to talk to. On the other hand, if they are about to celebrate their 50th anniversary of bliss together, then they may be ideal to learn from. \n\nLasting relationships are the those that are built on love -not infatuation or lust. Imagine the person you love in 50 years when they are old and fat. Would that change how you feel about them? If yes, then what you feel now is most likely lust/infatuation - not love. \n\nFriendship should also weigh into your decision to commit. \n\nIn 50 years, if you don't genuinely LIKE your mate, you're going to be miserable. \n\nWarnings \nIf you're not sure about your feelings or your relationship, take things slowly. Spend time apart and see how you are feeling while you are away. Do you miss the person? Or are you more attracted to others when you are apart?
1051442
Our culture predetermines that coveting and lusting with the eyes is simply unavoidable. The issue here is what are your intentions toward this person..if you feel a love and commitment that is headed for a lifetime spent together then in effect you are lusting after your own wife. If you see her not as a sex object but as a person worthy of respect as well as the admiration for her feminine beauty then you are simply doing what comes natural. Have you ever read Song of Solomon? Yeah...desiring your partner is not sinful..however, there is something to be said for modest dress and staying in appropriate venues while spending time together. Even for young unmarried christian couples the temptation is there. Right now everything is geared toward weakening your defenses...girls going around barely dressed letting all their business hang out everywhere, access so easy to porn, condoms and birth control, privacy..both in the parents home and set up as a young adult in dorms and apartments, not to mention the pervasive message that sex and love are synonymous when actually they have nothing to do with each other in the long run. Being single and a christian in this American culture is torture at times...just keep praying, talk to her and confess how you feel, if needs be set up perameters and ask her to dress modestly for your sake...or heck..the best bet is..if you guys are of age...GET MARRIED! What ya waiting for? If you are too young to be marriage minded and are not ready for a commitment..then you shouldn't be dating...that's my opinion though and who am I but a frumpy house frau. God bless you though..cuz you do care and you want to do what's right..just pray, stay in the Word of God and you'll be fine. Love in Christ, ~J~  <><  P.S. Jesus was speaking about adultry...lusting with your eyes for someone else other than the person you are "MARRIED" to...however, if you are lusting after your girlfriend and all 10 of her friends plus and also every other female that crosses your line of vision..well, then..perhaps this verse does apply to you. Catch yourself and get in the habit of stopping cold those thoughts...it can be done..this is called self disapline.
471460
You cannot...trust me.\nHowever,you can tell when he has put some or alot of dedication aside for you-if he chats/emails alot...if he responds on time/most of the time...and if he always checks to see if there are messages from you in his box.Those are some signs that means he cares for you somewhat-if he cares you will notice by the kind words in his message concerning you...words like-I love you,I miss you,I want to be with you so much,I want to make love to you,I think of you all day,I can't stop thinking of you...and the list goes on.True love comes with real experiences & time...you're in a virtual relationship(are you not?)...this does not count as true love...but may be the start of a beautiful relationship...which can lead to love.
1154442
well first off, i think anytime you get involved in relationships and committments there is a chance that someones feelings are going to get hurt. we never know fully what the intentions are of the other person. whether they are looking for a potential mate, sex only, out for revenge because they were cheated on, just companionship etc... what i can suggest is thorough complete communication. talk to him, ask him questions about everything even the HARD questions...once you do that, that will help you maybe to avoid potential heartache and disappointment based on what you learn about him...
1044170
i think it is most likely lust, i think love is something that devolops overtime.
308484
if hes trying to look for you in the eye and if hes trying to make you laugh... if hes kinda like showing off... like saying hes smart and gud in stuff... guys usually wont tell that theyre gud except when they really like a girl... and look at his sign language.. if hes trying to get close to you physically...
183067
that realy depends, if it is real love, you will know, if it's lust, then you just want to jump their bones.\nit has to come from both parties though
137585
The only way to tell is time. Through talking and getting to know the other person is how you find out. If you share basic common values and goals, such as relatuonship goals, or future plans, then it probably is a good sign that he could be for you, otherwise if you don't share these, it could be rocky. Such as he never wants kids and you do. That is something that can never be overcome. Other than that, you just have to take the chance. That is what makes love fun and heartbreaking at the same time.
387257
look, if u know that u love her...and its not just lust...go for it...if a guy chased me for love...i would be flattered.
961927
There is a very significant difference in lust and love.......  \nTo lust after someone is not to love them....  \nLOVE is a deep incomparable emotion, so maybe what you think is love is only lust...  \nBecause love will make a way  into the heart and soul of those it is given to...\nBUT love has to be parallel with trusting them as well....  To love someone means you know you can trust them in all your vulnerabilities and not be afraid to let your heart illuminate your deepest fears........... ♥\nBest wishes to you ♥
718165
It can be love or lust or some other reason. Human intentions and feelings are so divergant that its difficult to point one reason. The thumb rule is - if its love- its okay
363772
Lust mean you just want to have sex with the person.  To love someone, you have to care about them too.  You can have lust without love, but its a lot harder to have love without lust.
422100
Well, if your looking for a guy for more than sex than don't give him any until you get to know him.  You'll see his intentions if you hold out for a while. Then when you think this man is true to you, then you may want to proceed to another level.  \n\nAs women, we usually have good insticts about these things so if it feels like a guy just wants to use you for sex...DON"T DO IT!!!  YOU HAVE A SAY IN IT TOO!!!  \n\nDon't use sex as a tool to keep a man....if he want's to be w/ you he will stick around.
461564
Thing is . . . men . . . fall in and out of lust easily.  As for love . . . it takes a little while to determine whether it is love or not.\n\nHonestly . . . when we are interested in a girl . . . it isn't because of what you say is "Love at first site" but it is acutally "Lust at first site."  You get us hot and hard . . . with your look, you attitude, and other things you do.\n\nAfter we have gotten to know you well enough . . . then we can determine if it may be love or not.  You may be a good lay . . . but as a conversationalist or a friend . . . who knows.  If a guy really loves you . . . he will tell you (without being prompted).  Please note . . . if he tell you this during a date . . . or before he gets into your pants . . . 9 out 10 cases he doesn't mean it.\n\nBefore a man falls in love with a women . . . he has to lust for her first.  Then get to know her . . . inside and out . . . in my opinion . . . it should be the same thing with women . . . but women get too emotional with the people they have sex with and mixt the signals. (why else do you thing divorce rates are sooo high . . . women pressuring men to get married, when they were too young or not the right one.)
504797
Personally,I like a man who is a little on the wild side..a bit of a badboy,who knows what he wants and how to get it,but not in a nasty way!I like him to have charisma,passion,drive.Be romantic but not slushy,be giving but not a push over,kind and sensitive when need be,but not OTT.Ultimately a man who is a man,but who knows when to show his softer side.
771044
whatever he is doing he is doing....trust your instincts and your feeling regarding the relationship