What does a woman do with a husband who constantly shifts his financial responsibilities to her.?
415050
The woman should be strict and ensure they distribute the financial responsibilities in the same ratio to what they are earning. Yes, marriage is about love and compromise. But if the husband takes advantage of this, then they need to resort to these strict rules.
634613
What kind of adventures? Your husband isn't taking the responsibility for things that are HIS FAULT! Why was he going from job to job? You need to sit down with your husband and tell him exactly how you feel. It might take counseling... I understand the 50 lbs overweight thing - I am right there with you. I had our child 9 months ago. I cannot believe that your entire 401k is gone... that's horrible. \nYou seriously need to sit down and have a heart to heart or y'all are going to lose each other...
546567
It is very clear that he has a short fuse. He doesnt handle responsibility at all and he feels like you dont do much. You should probably explain to him in a nice clear firm voice what you are feeling like and what you need from him and you may want to ask him if there is something that you are doing to make him act this way. To every action is a re-action. You both have to be willing to work at the relationship and you will always be working at it. All you can do is make sure you are doing everything you can to make him happy and make sure he really fully understands what your needs are from him. Then you go from there, if he doesnt listen to you and your doing everything he needs from you and he comtinues then you need to go to the next step which would be counseling. Basically if he is not willing to put forth any effort to make your life better and happier then you really do not have a marriage there. And then at that point you may want to play the hard role , if all else fails you can just act as though you dont need him. Start going and doing things on your own and with the kids and do everything else as far as the household but dont pay as much mind to him. ( Start moving on with your life) That may very well stop him in his tracks. Start doing to him what he does to you and if he really does love and care for you he will see it and just tell him "thats what you've been going through and you only done it to make him see it first person."
190889
Well you can always look on the bright side.  If you are secure in your relationship with your husband then there is nothing to worry about.  You should be honored that someone would go in debt trying to be just like you.  Maybe she will miss a payment and get it repoed.  Or you can look on the bad and think she is making a plan to pay you or your husband revenge.  In that matter you should just move on and ignore her.  She is not worth your time or your husbands time.  I know you must have better things to worry about.
225470
Intuition is a strong thing....\n\nCheck for 'changes' or excuses in his schedule.  \n\nPop in for lunch if that is a possibility, unannounced.\n\nCheck for missing money - not depositing as much in the bank as his checks are - or he's spending more but he's taking cash, or unusual credit card charges?\n\nCheck Cell Phone Records. \n\nAt the end of the day, you just need to ask... and believe your intuition because GENERALLY our guts don't lie about this.  Try to get one of the above facts verified, and then ask.  Good Luck, and some marriages can be saved, but through a lot of pain an forgiveness and DEDICATION on the hubby's part..  I wish you all the best during this painful time.
1015983
Honey, it's absolutely NOT you!!!  You are YOU, not just his wife.  You are an adult and should be able to be friends with others, hobbies other than what he likes, etc.  You DON'T have to do everything together.  You are you're own person.  The fact that he doesn't trust you with  male co-workers is a classic sign that HE should NOT be trusted because his way of thinking is "Well, if I'm capable of doing it, she must be doing it too".  \n\nYou should not have to walk on eggshells in your own house.  My husband and I were having some problems and he made me feel like everything I did was wrong.  He got irritated by every move I made and everything I said and did and we were miserable.  I was so confused because it was my first (and hopefully only) marriage and I was extremely disappointed in marriage and him.  \n\nOne day I had an epiphany.  I was letting myself be changed by him.  I no longer stood up for what I thought and what I did or did not like.  I was no longer ME.  I hate to be crude, but one day I thought to myself "What the f*ck is wrong with me?  He married me.  All my thoughts, flaws, mistakes, passions, talents, everything.....and I've been hiding myself.  Well, screw that!!!" \n\nHe came home from work and I told him.  I WILL BE MYSELF AND IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT, YOU CAN LEAVE BECAUSE I CAN DO THIS WITHOUT YOU AND BE HAPPIER.  IT'S YOUR CHOICE.\n\nTo tell the truth, our marriage has never been better and I'm crazy about him.  If he gets slightly irritated at something I do, too bad.  Everyone isn't perfect and he certainly isn't.  Suck it up, Man!!!  You are far from perfect!\n\nIf he doesn't change, get out.  Life is too short to live with someone who doesn't appreciate you for everything you are.  Be yourself.\n\nTake care,\n\nJoyce
496566
Currently, you should concentrate on taking care of your children and keeping yourself healthy and your thinking rational.  If your husband has capital for business, talk to him and find out what he is doing to make money because you will need to know what resources he is working with whether you stay married to him or not.  Right now, you do not need to become entangled with another man, especially one you do not love.  The needs or your children and yourself should come first. You must take charge of your own life and stop depending on men to carry you. You do not need confusion.
167572
I'm married, and we kinda both do.  We openly discuss our finances every day, he gets a "limit" for how much he can spend on lunch during the week so we dont' run under and also because we have two kids and never know when we'll be seeing the pediatrician.  Even a couple of $20 copays and prescriptions can make a difference in a family's budget.  I usually pay the bills, but we discuss how much goes to the credit cards each month, etc.  Sometimes I'm in charge of the cable bill and sometimes he is if he's got less to do than I do.  Do whatever you have to do to keep out of debt though.  It's hard giving up total control, but just communicate and he'll gladly inform you of your financial status. :)
1014258
Hmmm  - I understand both sides of this one..\n\nIt is fair in a way..\n\nBasically - he earns money - that gives you a house, food,money to spend, car, etc\n\nyou get to spend time with your children, watch tv & do the normal chores & accounts (extra)\n\nBUT - Being married is all about sharing, thinking of the other person.... etc -  Being a Mum is a full time job & its never easy (24-7) + you've got the accounts to think about before you can even think about relaxing..    Sooooo\n\n He needs to think more about "You" - try letting him do your job for a few days - see if he appreciates you more...\n\nOne thing I would say though - "Marital Relations" can affect how he sees you - in his eyes you have an easy day, you get money off him & all he asks in return is to relax in the evening after a hard days work & and have some fun later..  If he doesnt - he'll start to resent things (Which I think is happening) & things will go downhill...  Always make time for the both of you - even If you're dead on your feet - make the effort...  try doing that & getting him to show you how "good" he is at cooking...  How well he gets on with the kids - how perfectly clean the kitchen is after a "man" has cleaned it...  Play up to him abit - massage his ego... ;) grin..\n\nAnd hopefully - your "Partnership" will become a little "Fairer"...\n\nHave fun!!!
294703
As hard as it seems, you need to leave him, because men never change.\n\nThere is a lot of good men out there that work for their money.  Those are the men that a woman should be with.  In my opinion men should be there to support the women, and if they can't do that, in some instances they can't, but they should atleast be able to support themselves.\n\nLook at it like this, you are just dating and he is doing this. . . . what happens if you are married?\n\nDoes he have a job?  Have you talked to him about it?  If you have and he is still doing it, then ask yourself "does he really love me as much as he says he does?" \n\nKatie
44940
create a new budget that is smaller.  This may mean having only one car, or less extras like eating out and fast food.  There are many areas that you can cut the corners.  I have been staying at home for 9 years now and it is only the last 4 years that I have been working at home with my own business.  I do it for fun not because our budget demands it.  \n\nGood luck with it.  If you can't do it in the situation you are in.. either you have to change the budget or your husband needs to get a better paying job.  If both of those are maxed to as good as you both can do - then you may have to work.
171382
If he is otherwise a good husband but just has problems with money, you can still fix this.  I would advise you to seek marriage counseling.  In the meantime, take control of all of the bills.  Contact a debt consolidator to help you pay off your bills quicker.  He may feel inadequite but help him to understand that some people just are not good with money.  \nI am in the same situation but I stopped it before it got out of hand.  My husband literally gets an allowance every week and when it's gone, it's gone.  I have taken over the bills and they are now getting paid on time.  We got both of our credit reports to see what all we needed to pay off and little by little it is disappearing.  \nIt took awhile to get in the hole that you are in so it will take ahwile to get out.  \nDefinately seek counseling to try to work things out.  Money shouldn't be the reason for divorce.
361429
Another thing that you can do is to stop having your husband's check automatically deposited!
324086
No, what you do is get the help he needs to stop getting into financial trouble in the first place. When you bail him out over and over, he thinks you will continue. Do what's best for him, and stop.
235881
THE CHICS ARE GONNA HATE ME FOR THIS ONE LOL!! \nListen, you are working hard so she can have a good life. You need to put your foot down now, before it's too late! As a wife, I expect my husband to do chores around the house. ...BUT NOT WHEN HE'S WORKING A 12/14/16 HR. SHIFT!!! He does as much as he can whenever he can, but everyone needs a break! I bet she likes to spend the money that comes in from those 12 hr. days...try cutting her off for a while, she'll catch on real quick! Relationships are about respect & comprimise. She needs to be willing to comprimise when it comes to chores, and to respect & appreciate your hard work...as you should appreciate hers (taking care of a child & your home).
1122416
I guess you have already tried talking to him. What does he think is "ridiculous", you wanting him to help? I can only tell you what I would do. I would sit him down and tell him " As long as we BOTH have to work two jobs, I am not going to be the only one taking care of everything around the house. If you want a housewife, then you need to support one. Otherwise, we share the chores just like we share the bills". If he cannot see the logic in that, I would be considering leaving. There is no way I would allow myself to be treated that way.
1160703
She hasn't grown up yet, and you have.   If you can handle her, then stick to your plan, save your money and get out of there.  \n\nShe isn't going to change.  She will always want her husband to put her and her family first.  You are getting in the way of that just by being around.   \n\nDon't stop helping and paying for your part of things, this will help you to be able to walk away later not feeling like you owe her anything.   \n\nIf you can, plan to be out of the house or sleeping as much as possible when she is going to be home.  \n\nI hope that this helps.  I understand how hard it can be.  Best of luck.