Have you ever shot out a booger on a date? One night I did, on his guacamole, and he ate it!!! (lmao still)?
399330
I have had some of the most catastrophic dinner dates ever. But I know how be so funny that I get myself out of trouble.\nSo, remember, the next time you fire a carrot from your soup our of your left nostril like it's a torpedo, it's funnier than disgusting if you make it funny and don't allow it to be disgusting.
1132596
Tell the story man..........\n\n\nOkay..... I'm bored.... so I'm imagining it went something like this:\n\nYou had to pee, but you were somewhere... like in the car where you couldn't get to a bathroom.  You really had to go.  You found an empty soda bottle on the floor of the car, and after contemplating this decision for a while mixed in with the dares from your friends, you decided *the hell with it... I gotta go.*  You pee into the bottle.  Anyways, you screw on the cap, but decide it's not hot to bring a bottle of warm piss into the bar with you, so you leave it in the car.  Besides, all your friends were still like "I can't believe you did that man!!"  And you didn't want the female bystanders to get the wrong impression.  So anyways, it's a few hours later, and you're obviously toasted.  One of your friends leads you to the car, unlocks the door and you climb in.  He realises he forgot his ID at the table, so he runs back into the bar.  You're sitting outside for a few minutes when the dehydration from all the beer starts to kick in.  Your foot bumps into something on the floor.  You stretch your hand down and feel around until you're palming a plastic soda bottle.  You bring it into the light to get a good look at it and exclaim "Alright!  Mountain Dew!!!" \n\n\nIs that what happened????!!!!
235245
We were eating at a restaurant,and my friends new girlfriend left to go to the toilet..\nAs soon as she left,i told him that if he wants to impress her,that he should arrange for the waiters to come sing a birthday song for her as it is her birthday (which it wasn't)\nWhen she came back from the toilet,they sang to her and she didn't know what was going on..\n\nShe got embarresed and he felt like a fool...\nBest prank I've pulled.
1159710
I just met my sweetheart a little over a week ago, and so far, I am so in love with him it is nauseating.  He could do no wrong.  He could fart and pick his nose constantly and make Corky noises and I would still find it endearing.
537822
No, but my buddly puked on a chick he went down on....lol funny stuff
765645
I went out to dinner with a guy who got extremely drunk.  He got up and started singing "Some Enchanted Evening" in the middle of the restaurant,  and was so screwed up he fell on top of the table next to us.  I was stupid enough to drive him home (even after that stunt), and he took all his clothes off in the car and threw them out the window.  \n(I swear to G*d I am *not* making this up).  When I got him to his house I (literally) kicked his a*s out of my car and left him on his front lawn naked as a jaybird.  Needless to say that was our first and last date!
110006
I dressed up nice in heels and a lil skirt. \n\nHe picks me up in a ute loaded with 7 other guys, all drinking beer. I'm thinking, oh we must be going to a party or something....\n\nWRONG!! Instead, he takes us out into the middle of the bush, that's right I said BUSH (forest, woods, jungle whatever they call it where you live)\nwhere they commenced a full out shot-gun assualt on kangaroos. Yep, shooting kangaroos with real-life shot-guns! All of the guys were DRUNK by the way. \n\nTHEN they skinned the half- alive animals in front of me.\n\nOn the way home, with my ears ringing from the gunshots BUT grateful to be alive still, one of his friend keeps rubbing my leg, and I'm like "Get your hands off me." \nMy date then replies "He won't hurt ya, he's just been isolated from women for so long, he wants to feel some soft skin". The fact that they had 4 or 5 guns stopped me from flipping my lid. \nOh yeah, for the record, me and the guy are no longer together!
719200
One of my first dates was a total disaster. We had plans to drive to a a zoo in a city about 3 hours away. First off there was road construction so we had to take a detour, the detour was not marked clearly and we got lost. We spent two hours trying to find our way back. We stopped for dinner at some little dive of a restaurant. When the server came around, he was carrying the tray with food on it for us and another table. I ended up having two plates of food in my lap. No change of clothes. So we drove around trying to find a mall. When we finally found one I was too embarrassed to walk around like that. The guy actually swapped jeans with me, eventhough my jeans were wayyy too tight on him. He walked around cracking jokes to everyone and had me laughing my *ss off. We got me a pair of new jeans, and swapped back once we got out to the car. When we do finally get to the zoo, we had an hour till it closed. But we figured what the hell, we'd already been through alot to get there. So we're walking around, and go into the primate house. One end had glass, but at the top it was wire cage. We got p*ssed on (good thing we weren't looking up). So the whole drive home we both drove with the windows down cause the smell of monkey p*ss was so strong we were both sick lol. I actually ended up marrying the guy :D.
816999
The worst date I have ever been on would have to be with 'fingerless clubby'  Yes it was a horrible horrible internet date, and here is the story.  I met this guy on the net.  He seemed really nice, and he was good looking in his pictures, very nice when we talked over the phone and after about 2-3 weeks of talking on the phone we finally decided to meet in person and have dinner at applebees.  When I arrived I sat at the bar and had a beer while I waited for him.  About 5 minutes later I hear this voice call out my name, it sounded like a little kid.  I turned around and I didn't see anyone there.  Then I heard a voice say 'are you Tiffany?"  Thats when I looked down and saw a munchkin, he looked like a munchkin anyway.  I wanted to pick him up but I refrained.  He couldn't get on the bar stool, so I downed another beer and we went and sat at the booth.  I was sooo embarrassed, and I ordered another beer very quickly.  When I got a good look at him I noticed he had hearing aides in both ears, and was missing his fingers on one hand.  I felt bad for him, but I knew this wasn't going anywhere.  I just wanted to leave.  After we ordered dinner (yes I ate with him) and downed another beer,   he started talking about his club feet and how he was in the process of getting them fixed.  He also had a hairy nose.  I just couldn't take it anymore and I ran to the nearest exit, with him of course saying Tiffany wait!  Oh god please never ever let that happen again.  I also met another person on the net that smelled like as s.  It just doesn't work.  Screw internet dating.
616043
my date lifted me up with no warning while we were walking down the street, so that he could try to guess how much I weighed (said he was really good at it...); then at the coffee shop, he managed to knock over his coffee and my hot chocolate all over me, when I came back from the washroom, he had two more drinks sitting there and while I was covered in coffee and hot chocolate, he spent the next 20 minutes talking about how some coffee had splashed onto his jacket; driving home we had to pull over so that he could walk around in front of the car and pee along the side of the road, right in my view;  this was a first and last date, lol
865111
That ranks right up there with mine.  I was in a wedding a few years back and nothing to eat + drinking waaaaay too much = not a pretty picture.  First of all remember this is a wedding and I'm in this beautiful red dress and there is a videographer taping everything.  So, after downing a few beers, and 8 or 9 jack and cokes, and then being stingy with not 1, but 2 bottles of champagne I decide to dance and hop around like the friggin easter bunny, after getting tired I suppose,  I head down into the ladies room to get some cold water and I end up laying on the floor (yeah, yuck) with an audience watching as someone is trying to make me drink some coffee and eat some bread.  Now, I must tell you this part so I can tell you the next part, this wedding was a friend and co-worker so keep in mind that ALOT of co-workers were there as well.  After having a few sips of water my boss....yes you heard right, my boss picks me up off the floor of the ladies room and takes me outside, so there I sat like a lawn ornament for a little while, I believe I had my picture taken with anyone who was out there at the time.  So on to how I get home....my boss puts me into the back of his pickup truck and sits with me while his wife drives me home.  As we pull into the driveway and the tailgate comes down....right there in front of everyone who followed me home to make sure I was ok it happened.   I puked on my boss and his brand new suit....not once, no, not twice, no, but three (3) times.   The story does not end there, my boss, his wife and the maintenance guy from where I work were all at my house and to this day I have no idea how I got out of the now ruined red dress and into my pajamas.  Oh I also woke up on the front porch of my house with my head in my nephew's car seat.  The great thing about all of this is....I still have my job.   Hope you enjoyed the story ;)
612132
Don't take a girl out for a date there.  But it was quite interesting.  I do not understand the no sharp metal parts.  Were there no open food cans with the edges?  What made you do this?  Find any interesting things?  \nI do think garbage is dirty, full of food that is bad and diapers with poo in them.  So this yes makes playing in garbage gross.
985088
I can't really say the funniest thing I've ever done (besides stupid klutzy moments involving falling into a group of desks during a Spanish game) because I'm pretty much the dry wit Daria/Darlene/Wednesday person of our group, but I do have one anecdote which my friend will kill me for if he ever finds out I posted this. :]\n\nOkay, so this friend of mine, really smart and artistic and all but essentially the living example of "the dumbest smart person you'll ever meet."  So he has a lot of allergy problems and this one time he was at home and he had to sneeze but it wouldn't come out.  So what does my brilliant friend do?  He pours some pepper into his hand and attempts to sniff it, ever so slightly, but ends up inhaling all of it.  So of course he's running around the house like crazy trying to get it out while his mom is just sitting there laughing at him.\n\nAnd it would probably be much funnier if you actually knew him and knew the sorts of things he does.
473254
LOL!!! My bad experience was my first experience and I was traumatized after it and almost made it my last LOL!!\n\nA friend of mine set this date up. (she's lucky I still called her a friend after that) I was a lil greeny, just turned 18 just graduated. I did not really date in high school. I liked the guys, they liked me but I just did things in groups and  had a blast. ANYWAY...the guy called me, his name was MIKE..he sounded so cute. I asked my friend what he looked like. SHe said OH He's tall, he has a tan complexion, dark hair and glasses, brown eyes, he is really cute. OKay, I was picturing this muscle man with dark hair, good looking, wire frame glasses, tall, and someone that I would just melt for if I saw him. \n\nI was so nervous. \nWell....the next day was the big day. I was all ready to go and nervous...OH SHOOT!!! LOL! the guy comes walking up...about my height 5'3"...mousy brown hair and thick glasses, the goober was wearing a white shirt and tie, he was all dressed up, for gosh sakes we were just to a movie. I thank my luck stars it was a double date, because I wouldn't have survived the night and I would've had to kill him if he touched me. I opened the door, my father is standing their, I am tucking my fathers sleeves signalling to him that I did not want to go. LOL! My mother was whispering just go, geez. NOOOOOOOOOOO! LOL!! THe guy hands me these half dead roses wrapped in green paper that he cut off of a rose bush and he said "I brought you some roses, I thought that it was something I was supposed to do" LOL!!!!!!!!!!!\nI felt totally weird with this guy. \nOkay...so we went to my friends house and picked them up, meanwhile I was leaning against the door , it was locked, but I was clutching onto the handle. \n\nOkay...we WERE supposed to go to a movie, we didn't...the goober had to show us where he worked, he thought that I would be impressed with the fact that he created and built things out of plastic, we spent 20 minutes watching a stupid machine make caps for wesson oil bottles. Then it was getting late, so we went to Red Lobster, instead of watching a movie (because Mike claimed that it was too late) we ended up going to his house and staying their until 2am watching this retarded video on old time inventions. \n\nHe commented on his messy house and he said well if I had a woman to cook for me and clean my house while I worked my house wouldn't look this way. I then said that I was tired and wanted to go home. I was so glad to get home. OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSH!! LOL! I relive those feelings whenver I tell the story, but I bust a gut. LOL!! That was 16 years ago. That was one of the traumantic moments in my life. LOL!!
1177464
I once dated this woman who was studying for the Bar Exam and she said the best way I could help her is to have sex with her. It relaxed her and kept her focused. She also ate a lot of eggs and drank a lot of coffee. She passed on the first try and I like to think I helped:-).\n\nBest wishes on the Bar!!
706882
Yes it happened to me.  I had not seen my friend for 20 some years.  She had a date that night.  The date kirk showed up and took my friend Alice and me to a nice restaurant.  After we went to a club.  He was drinking heavily and when she went to the ladies room or to talk to some different friends he tried to put the make on me and I was not going for it.  Finally I had my gut full and took the pitcher of beer and poured it all over his head then I walked out the door.  I got a hotel room.  The next morning I called her and said I was coming to get my suitcases.  I did and she started questioning me and I said I would tell her later on.... I then went to another friends home and her entertainment was Great!
671026
Wow, That sounds like you had a pretty crazy night. My worst date would have to be with this guy name Eric. We had gone out to eat and then he took me back to his gay brother's house and we walked in and his brother was on the couch having sex with some guy. His brother started yelling at him and everything and they got in this fight and they went off into the back bedroom and left me there and I ended up having to call my friend to come pick me up. I never went out with that jerk again.