A 3 legged dog walks into a bar and says "I'm lookin for the man who shot my paw "  FUNNY? or STUPID?
404483
stupid there is not enough setup all it is is an introduction and a punch line. It could be funny in the right context but not just plainly stated.
83235
so this irishman walks past a bar...get it?
1087313
I dunno but this is a video of a two legged dog which is better.\nEnjoy.\n\nhttp://www.ebaumsworld.com/twoleggeddog.html
228046
SORRY IF YOU'VE SEEN ME POST THIS ELSEWHERE\n\nThis is a long one, but worth it:\n\nThis guy goes into a bar after a promotion to celebrate with his buddies. Aftr a few drinks he notices, behind the bar, a big jar stuffed with $50 bills, so he asks the bartender about it.\n\nThe bartender replies, "Oh that's just a running bet we have here. You gotta pay $50 into the pot and if you complete 3 tasks, you win the whole jar. As you can see, no one has ever won."\n\nAfter a few more beers and 2 shots of Tequila, the man announces in a slightly tipsy voice, "Screw it, I just got a raise. I can afford to lose $50!" and he slams a $50 on the bar. "OK. What do I gotta do?"\n\n"Well," says the bartender "like I said, there are 3 tasks. First you gotta finish a whole bottle of our homemade 200 proof Fire Water, after that you gotta help my pit bull tied up out back. He's got a sore tooth and you have to go pull it out for him. If you survive THAT, you have to go upstairs and pursuade the landlady upstairs to have sex with you. She's a virgin and she's 106 years old. Raping her is obviously out of the question."\n\n"Fair enough" said the half-drunk man. The alcohol coursing through his veins had emboldened him. "Gimme that Fire Water!" And lo and behold, he managed, to everyone's shock to finish the whole bottle without pause. \n\nBarely able to keep the contents of his stomach down, he was turned and nudged, by the astonished bartender in the direction of the back door, where the dog was tied up outside. The man stumbled drunkenly through the door and bravely slammed it closed behind him. A fierce barking, accompanied by breaking glass, garbage cans smashing, yelling and groaning erupted outside. After a minute or so of this racket, a loud dog yelp, followed by it's whining was heard.\n\nShortly afterwards, the man stumbled back through the door, his clothes torn, blood dripping from multiple bite wounds and looking like he'd been hit by a truck.\n\nThen demanded in a drunken slurred voice, "OK. NOW WHERE'S THAT OLD LADY WITH THE SORE TOOTH?!!"\n\nI'll take my 10 points now.
811875
don't know...the fact that he has a dog is confusing me\n\njeez, why do you want to know?  ask him out on a date if you are interested in him.
136390
I'm looking for the man who shot my paw.
618328
May I add that he was shot in a bar after an argument.\n\nIt's not like there was a commando at his house to go and kill him!
307993
My Dog Named Sex \n\n\n\nEverybody who has a dog calls him Rover or Lassie. I called mine Sex. Now Sex has been very embarrassing to me. When I went to City Hall to renew his dog license, I told the clerk I would like to have a license for Sex. He said "I would like to have one too" then I said "but this is a dog" He said he didn't care what she looked like. Then I said "but you don't understand I have had Sex since I was 9 years old. He replied that I must have been quite a kid.\n\nWhen I got married and went on my honeymoon, I took the dog with me. I told the hotel clerk I wanted a room for me and my wife and a separate room for Sex. He said every room in this place is for sex. I said "you don't understand. Sex keeps me awake all night" and the clerk replied "me too".\n\nI entered Sex in a contest, but before the competition began, the dog ran away. Another contestant asked me why I was standing there looking around. I told him I had planned to have Sex in the contest. He told me that I could have sold tickets for that "but you don't understand, I hope to have Sex on T.V." He called me a Show off.\n\nWhen my wife and I separated we went to court to fight for custody of the dog. I said "Your honor I had sex before we were married". The judge said "me too". Then I told him that after we were married sex left me. He replied "me too".\n\nLast night Sex ran off again. I spent hours looking around for him. A cop came over and asked me "What are you doing wandering around the alley at 4 am for?" I replied "I am looking for Sex" My case comes up in court on Friday.
615259
The funny expressions that my dog makes when she thinks that I'm being an idiot.
142680
One day Johnny walked into the classroom, and the teacher said, 'Johnny, do you have your report done?' He replied, 'no ma'am.' She said, 'if you don't have it done by tomorrow then I'm going to make a call to your parents.'\n\nAs Johnny is walking home from school he looks to his left and sees two greyhounds racing,and one gets so far ahead of the other one that it just stops and the other one rams its head right up its @??.\n\nJohnny takes out a piece of paper and writes it all down, saying to himself, 'This is going to be my report.'\n\nThe next day at school the teacher says, 'Johnny, do you have your report done?' He says, 'sure do.' So he goes up to the front of the class and starts telling them what he saw. 'Yesterday I was walking home from school when I saw these two greyhounds racing, and one rammed its head right up the other's @??.' The teacher says, 'Johnny, we don't use the word '@??' in the classroom, it's rectum.' Johnny said, 'Rectum? Hell, it damn near killed 'em.' (1st ref.)\n\nThe actual joke you're asking about doesn't exist: "The punchline to an infamous joke; the actual joke, however, is unknown and, therefore, only the punchline is used. It's enough." See second reference.
468669
What do you do with a dog that has no legs?\n\n\n\n\n\nTake it for a drag!
795441
I woulde tell the following joke and hope the punch line was understood:\nA famous English tea taster, believing he had tasted every tea known to man, decided to retire. At his retirement party, someone mentioned a tea made from the hair of a koala bear and only available in a small town called Mercy in the Australian Outback.\nWell, because he hadn't tried this tea, the tea taster postponed his retirement and set off for Australia. After his British Airways flight landed in Sydney, he switched to Qantas for a flight to Alice Springs then to a bus which took him to Mercy, deep in the Outback.\nWalking along the only street in Mercy, he found a small bar, went inside, sat down at the counter and asked the barman if he could have a cup of the famous tea made from the hair of a koala bear.\nThe barman went back to the kitchen an a few minutes later returned with a cup of the tea. The English tea taster took a sip and immediately spat it out.\n"This tea is vile, the worst I've ever tasted," he exclaimed. "It is also full of hair; the very least you could have done is strain it."\nThe barman, somewhat taken aback, said: "But sir, the koala tea of Mercy is not strained."
858855
A guy walked into a bar and said ouch.\n\nA panda walked into a bar, ordered something, ate it, then shot the bartender and left. A man ran after him and asked why he did it. "Check a dictionary," said the panda. Later, the man looked up the definition of panda: "Eats, shoots and leaves."\n\nUm... That's all I got. Sorry.
929140
So the horse walks into the bar and the bartender asks, "Why the long face?"  (<insert laughter here>)
1098199
Paw? Sounds like you want to race your dog, check a pet store?
554095
Here is a clean joke.\n\n\nA woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she lay her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest.\nAfter a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and said, "I'm so sorry, your Duck, Cuddles, has passed away."\nThe distressed owner wailed, "Are you sure?\n"Yes, I am sure. The duck is dead," he replied.\n"How can you be so sure," she protested. "I mean, you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something." The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room, and returned a few moments later with a black Labrador Retriever.\nAs the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head.\nThe vet patted the dog and took it out, and returned a few moments later with a cat. The cat jumped up on the table and also sniffed delicately at the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room.\nThe vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry,\nbut as I said, this is most definitely, 100%\ncertifiably, a dead duck."\nThen the vet turned to his computer terminal, hit\na few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman.\nThe duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill.\n"$150!", she cried, "$150 just to tell me my duck is dead!!\n\nREADY ?\n\nThe vet shrugged. "I'm sorry. If you'd taken my\nword for it, the bill would have been $20 but with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it's now $150.00
352965
Once upon a time a panda bear walked into a restuarant. The waiter showed him a table, the panda ordered a drink and some food and when it arrived he ate happily. All this was pretty normal and no-one seemed alarmed. Anyway, after the panda finished his meal, he asked for the bill, the waiter brought it to him and sure enough the panda payed. All was fine. When the panda got up to leave however, HE PULLED A GUN OUT OF HIS FURRY COAT AND SHOT THE WAITER!!! The manager ran up to the panda screaming and shouting, "Why did you shoot my waiter?! Whats wrong with you?!" The panda replies, "I'm a panda bear aren't I?" 'Yes' says the manager, "what does that have to do with anything?"\nIf you want the answer, go look up panda in the dictionary.\nPuzzled, the manager rushes home, finds a dictionary and looks up 'panda' for the answer.\n\nHe reads : \nSmall black and white bear. Eats shoots and leaves.