Recently divorced,  very depressed, want to get back with ex but he refuses to any contact phone or other wise
409362
THE MORE YOU TRY TO HOLD ON TO SOMEONE  THAT DOES NOT WANT TO BE WITH YOU THE MORE DEPRESSED YOU BECOME. LET HIM GO AND SOMEONE GREATER WILL COME ALONG FOR YOU. TRUST GOD NO MATTER WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE. STOP HURTING YOURSELF LIKE THAT. MAY GOD BLESS YOU AND GIVE YOU PEACE OF MIND AND HEART
682687
Sounds like he doesn't want you, but he doesn't want anyone else to get close enough to want you either. He wants to keep you reeled in just close enough to give him freedom, but to keep you from gaining any. Cut him loose, sweetie. Be the very best mommy you can be to your children, because they are also going to suffer a loss here. They are going to be sensing a void in their lives that you will have to fill. Don't take any calls from him unless it involves the children or the divorce. Do not talk about what could've been or what should've been. IF HE WANTS YOU BACK BAD ENOUGH, HE WON'T TALK ABOUT IT, HE WILL DO ALL HE CAN TO SHOW YOU! Do not fall for empty promises or the all-famous, "I need a little space" or "I need a little time to think about it." First, concentrate on your kids; your security and confidence will soon grow around you and stand you up on your two feet. Eventually, you will wonder why you wasted the time you did on waiting for him. Give yourself 1 year to recover...it's only 365 days. No big deal. Good luck!
372382
Patience is the key! Don't allow him to get to you, that's what he wants to do and bring you down to his level. Congrats on moving on with your life....atta girl!
112024
i wouldnt call if he doesnt answer it will just hurt u more how often do yall email each other? id just try to move on if your ment to be hell come back
725860
Either call him directly or snailmail him a letter of detail expressing your concern for the direction your relationship seemed to be taking.\n\nHe may have had other issues to deal with and could not open up about them at that time - therefore presenting distance that you may have misinterpeted towards you.....\ndo not push, if he can share his feelings he will.\n\nExpress to him how much you have missed him and that you are sorry for hurting him also.\n\nIf he does not wish to continue dating at least try and establish some form of friendship - mutually.\n\nBest wishes!
168306
Been there, done that. It's funny how our minds and emotions can ruin a good thing. One thing that I hightly recomend is getting your self esteem up. It's tough, but once you are sure and proud of who you are, you don't loose that. As for getting your ex back. It may or may not happen. Give him his space now, thats is what he wants. If for some reason he also has a change of heart, you 2 can work things out then. But for now, respect his decision. Take care babe, im rooting for ya :)
1115298
You don't. My ex has hurt me so bad so many times, and every time I talk to him it takes everything I have not to beg him to come back.
43839
Say "Good-bye", give a great "Sponge Bob" wave.  \n\nDon't waver from this...unless you want to look foolish.  If your ex wants you back, they'll let you know.  So, you can hold your dignaty and bow out, or you can beg and beg and beg only to be rejected more and more and more.\n\nIt hurts, all I can recomend is find something that makes you happy...Go find happiness.
478448
Does "ex" not break it down enough? why waste your precious time calling him if hes no going to call you?
651527
Speaking from my own experience [divorced last year] this truly is a difficult one. The problem with lies within his hurt. He finds it difficult to accept that you no longer want to be with him, therefore, if he can make an impact [albeit a negative one] on your life he feels he is still important to you. Basically just like a child seeking attention through negative behavior. Therefore the answer is to try and make him still feel valued by YOU [he knows his child will love him regardless of his actions]. Try asking him for advice [what is he good at] this action flatters the ego. As your in a new relationship, your ex's ego will be deflated, therefore making him feel valued is a good first step to accommodating a potential friendship. After all, even my own nightmare [ex] is the father of my children and regardless of my feelings he is important to them. \n\nGood Luck
1021277
Don't have the relationship UNTIL everything has gone thru the court systems. That way HUBBY/EX-to-be can't use anything against you. \n\nTHEN go slowly starting a NEW relationship. Take it slow and easy.
164813
Ignore the phone call, unless it continues.\n\nResist the urge to respond to the immature behavior.\n\nI think it is good you are out of the relationship now and you should keep it that way. He was abusive and I am sure your self esteem went down the gutter.\n\nTreat yourself. Do something you always wanted to do but couldn't till now. Try seeing people and going places that have no relation to your ex.\n\nIt wouldn't be a bad idea to see a therapist and/or find a support group to deal with the abuse issues you went through.
619609
The obivous answer is the one you are refusing to do.."Ignore the Calls!"  I am not sure why you guys can't be together..(You were very careful to omit this from your little story)  You say he is not married..Then I am guessing he is with someone else..Tell him to give you a call when they are through out of respect for his current relationship.  You would want someone to do the same for you if you were with him..Wouldn't you?
9181
Yes, there are alot depending on where you live, also depending on the circumstances of the divorce,you need to contact any mental health resource or sometimes the courthouse that you filed the proceedings in will refer your and your ex to counceling
977139
Just invite him to come visit if you are done with your ex altogether. be kind and make a good impression. If necessary, send a letter to your ex telling him what's up and maybe even apologize. Ladies, email me at johnluisduffy@yahoo.com
642016
Well if he's your EX then I'd guess to say that he's grasping at straws to get you to meat him somewhere so he can act pathetic and con you to go back with him. and if he wont say it over the phone well then it's not important at all.there must be a reason that he's your EX.if you wish not to be with him I'd stay away from him.
967887
she's your ex\ndeal with it\nyou cant demand anything from her at this point, as she doesn't play a vital role in your life anymore.\ngive her time, she may come around.\ngive her some space, about a week.\nthen try again with the calling.\ngood luck with hearing her voice