What are the long term effects of being a bully? What may happen to the bully if they are not stopped?
406486
Inside he's a little man looking for acceptance from his ego. Probably will become a wife beater. Send his name to the local Marine recruiter, they'll straighten him out.
813133
Bullies need to be identified and isolated from the rest of the school population for an extended period of time.  If after a set period of time there is no improvement in attitude or behaviour of the bully, then he/she should be transfered to a learning facility that offers counseling and education at a deeper level than what is offered at public schools.  Bullying is not acceptable behaviour.
1160628
hide.  Seriously, though, the key is self-confidence, if you're confident about yourself, or even if you pretend to be confident and ignore the people who are bullying you or even laugh at them.  I used to be bullied at my old school, I realise now that most bullies are motivated by bad feelings about themselves and they try to boost their ego by making other people feel bad too.  It's pretty hard, but don't let them see that they're making you feel bad.  Stand up straight, ignore them, laugh at them, and don't let them see that they're hurting you.
206039
Is this happening at and around school?  Most bullying seems to happen as part of going to school and while in school.  And how old is your daughter?  Those are important factors.\n\nDo try to teach your daughter be assertive, but she is probably not strong enough to fight the bully physically as some posters have suggested ... bullies don't pick on kids who are stronger than them. Bullies don't go away. It is true that bullies are cowards, and tend to back down when people stand up to them, but bullies also seek revenge. I don't know how old your daughter is, but this problem needs to be dealt with. Unless bullies are stopped, they tend to get worse and worse, not better. \n\nIf this is happening at school, most schools have someone you can go to so that some adult there will know about what's happening and can begin to stop it - a guidance counselor, a teacher you and she both trust, the principal, someone. If this bully has actually attacked your daughter, go to the police. The bully can be charged. No matter what the bully has said about not telling anyone, TELL someone else. \n\nHere are some well researched tips, designed for the kids, on dealing with bullying that may help you and your daughter:\n\n1. If you are bullied, TELL. Telling is not being weak or being a coward or tattling. It is helping to protect everyone from that bully.  Your daughter is brave to tell.\n\n2. Tell someone you trust who can do something - teacher, counselor, parent, some other adult. You CANNOT handle this yourself. \n\n3. Do not retaliate or get angry. This could make things worse.\n\n4. Respond evenly and firmly or say nothing and walk away.\n\n5. Develop good strong friendships and support each other. Bullies tend to pick on kids that they think don't have many friends or kids they think others won't hlep.\n\n6. Act confident.\n\n7. Try to stay away from places the bully will be if that is possible. For example, take a different route to school.\n\n8. Avoid unsupervised areas of the school.\n\n9. Try not to bring expensive items to school that might attract the bully's attention and that he might try to take or break.\n\n10. To gain confidence and feel stronger and feel that you can take care of yourself, enrol in a self-defence program if one is available, or a martial arts program or something like that. Self defence programs teach you some very good skills, very quickly.\n\n11. Join a group, such as Scouts, a cadet program, or something like that, so that you have a special group of friends who will support you. \n\nGo to the website www.bullying.co.uk/ which has lots of information for parents and for kids about bullying and about some things you can do. I think this website might really help you figure out some good positive things you and your daughter can do to deal with this.\n\nI hope this helps you. Good luck with sorting this out. Don't give up. There is help out there. Take care.
137384
Sexual violence can have very harmful and lasting consequences for victims, families, and communities. \n\nWomen who experience both sexual and physical abuse are significantly more likely to have sexually transmitted diseases. \nThere are long-term consequences such as:\nPregnancy\nChronic pelvic pain \nPremenstrual syndrome \nGastrointestinal disorders \nGynecological and pregnancy complications \nMigraines and other frequent headaches \nBack pain \nFacial pain \nDisability preventing work \n\nVictims of sexual violence face both immediate and long-term psychological consequences \n\nImmediate psychological consequences include:\n\nShock \nDenial \nFear \nConfusion \nAnxiety \nWithdrawal \nGuilt \nNervousness \nDistrust of others \nSymptoms of Post-traumatic stress disorder\nEmotional detachment \nSleep disturbances \nFlashbacks \nMental replay of assault\n\nMental chronic psychological consequences include:\n\nDepression \nAttempted or completed suicide \nAlienation \nPost-traumatic stress disorder \nUnhealthy diet-related behaviors \nFasting \nVomiting \nAbusing diet pills \nOvereating
761509
Stand up to them and show them that you will not back down and let them bully you. When they call you names, call them names too. When they throw things at you, throw things right back at them. Whatever their doing to you, you make their life a living hell also. If they see fear in you then they will continue to bully you this way. It doesn't matter that it's more of them and just you. You make them see that yow will not let them ruin you. Stand up for yourself and these girls will know not to mess with you anymore.
1125751
Yes, because if they were always heavy and knowing what it was like to be teased and picked on, then becoming skinny and seeing the difference in the way people treat you. Yes there personality will change for the better happy and not sad all the time, thinking better about yourself. Your outlook on life will change along with it. But just remember you are the same person you just improved your life.
523010
Do not let it bother you.  People who bully are having emotional problems themselves.  Adolescence is notorious for this because there are alot of changes both emotionally and physically and adolescents do not deal well with them...they also have major brain changes going on making them not exactly considerate of others.  While not letting it bother you is harder done than said.....remember it will pass.  I do recommend getting a hobby and new friends. Try soccer, or art. Join an after school club maybe.  I do not recommend weight lifting like the other guy said...i know some adult guys with screwed up shoulders from weight lifting too early...and 7th grade is too early.  If it is any consulation....i am now much cooler than those kids that picked on me in middle school...and much happier.  And my school has been totally paid for in college and graduate school.  Life is not over in middle school.
723689
i am a grown woman now but in school i was the bully, and theyre right ,i, at least was very insecure and felt better about myself when i would put other people down. noone did anything to help me (or stop me) i eventually grew out of it when i learned to love myself.
263968
All the answers above are relevant (I've never heard of the God one though). It all comes back to insecurity. Bullies pick on other people to draw attention away from their own insecurities. They also want to feel "in control" and powerful. Maybe the bully's home life is bad and bullying is a way to regain control in a place where there is no control. Bullies most likely need help themselves. I always pitied bullies when I was in high school and younger. When you go back to your reunion someday, you'll either see that the bullies aren't as sucessful or they wised up and are nicer. They may even become your friend or significant other someday. Just hang in there. Everything gets better as time goes on.
713536
Yes, girls can be bullies too.  I had a girl bullying me when I was in elementary/junior high school.  I'm not a fighter and did my best to avoid her.  However, I finally had it and hit her in the stomach with my lunch box.  She never bothered me again.\n\nBullies are basically cowards.  When I hit her, she stopped trying to bully me.
468320
Just talk to him and tell him to start standing up for himself. All it takes is a little courage and strength. Tell the bullies to back off and give him some room to breath. believe it or not if he never stands up for himself he will continue to keep getting bullied. people tend to pick on those who they know wont do anything or say anything back to them, but when they defend themselves the bullying will eventually stop.
525743
You didn't explain exactly what is happening, so it is difficult to give a specific response.  If a teacher is bullying a child, it is a serious situation, and unfortunately it happens more often that we who are, or have been, educators, would care to admit.  anyone can be a bully, including a teacher.\n\nThe best scenario would be if you could calmly talk to the teacher, explain what is happening and how it is affecting the child, and give an opportunity for the teacher to change - but not weeks, only days.  If that doesn't work, then the next step is the principal.  The principal is the person who has most chance of doing something about this.  \nAgain, it is key that you maintain your calm and composure.  You probably won't be taken seriously if you are upset, angry, etc., even if you have every right to be.\n\nI'm not sure how old the child is, but is he old enough to write dowm what has happened?  If so, that might be the next step.  I would get the child to do that, describe the incidents that have happened in his own words as he understands them, in a letter to the principal, copied to the teacher in question.  The teacher has to receive a copy of the letter.  That makes it official and it has to be addressed.   \n\nIf at all possible, I'd have the child in any meeting between parent, teacher and principal.  Prepare the child to be there, to be able to tell what happened even with the teacher there.  Bring an impartial advocate with you if you feel you would need that support.  If the child is not in the meeting, there is only the teacher to describe the situation with no one to really say, "But I was there and that is not what happened."  An alternative might be to videotape the child telling his version of the events.\n\nThere are always at least three sides to any story - the child's version, the teacher's version, and the correct version.  So keep that in mind.  The real truth may be hidden somewhere in the emotion of the whole situation, but it is also possible that the child's version is mostly the truth.\n\nYou might also want to discretly seek out other parents to see if anyone else is aware of what is happening.  If a taecher is being a bully, everyone in the class knows it.  Actually, if the teacher is being a bully, most likely everyone in the school knows it, or at least has a sense of it.  If you have more than one parent or child making a complaint, it will be taken more seriously.  But still make yhour complaints through channels - teacher first, then principal if at all possible.\n\nIs there a counselor at the school?  Could you and the child bring this issue to the couselor?  The school counselor might know the best route to take this in your particular school and area, and might be a good support.\n\nMost principals want to know if a teacher is being a bully, and the principals usually want to sort it out.  Best of luck in getting this issue taken care of.
184307
You sound like a kid, with the bus stop thing, so I would talk to your parents.  They can then talk to the girl's parents and explain the situation.  You could also look into talking to the bully's parents, and see if they won't make him pay for it
647241
I am getting on in my years, now, but there is one incident from first grade that I will never forget. I made a joke about a Greek kid's big nose, and all the other kids laughed. So I followed that up with a few more, and they laughed. I said things that were just plain mean, and they laughed some more. I could feel the other kids start to gather and stand behind me. I know some of the things I said weren't even funny, and I think that people join in for many subconscious reasons. Partly they want to be part of a group. They also want to separate themselves from the person being made fun of. Maybe they are scared that someone will make fun of them, if they don't join in. But for whatever reason, there are always going to be people that like the bullies!\n      Anyways, this was my first and only experience as a bully, or feeling popular, for that matter. Later that day I shared some candy with the kid and said I was sorry.\nI have always since then been more than a bit sympathetic to the underdogs, but I can see why someone would turn over to the "dark side." It can be a way to get instant popularity and a feeling of power. Look what it did for Hitler.
1164385
I think it happens because you decide to let it happen. Change your mindset and make yourself one of these people who isn't a target. It is easier than you think. You just need to decide that enough is enough.\n\nI was bullied up until about 1993. Its ludicrous, as I am quite a well proportioned individual. I would say that once a loser always a loser is untrue. But you need to develop techniques to handle bullies and bullying, like I did.\n\nHere are some tips:\n1. Don't take them on in their own territory (i.e., dont get involved in name calling, etc as they love all that monkey business). Deal with them like you'd deal with a logical problem - find the shortest path to handling them and do it.\n2. Some martial arts or other self defense training helps build physical confidence. You're not expected to ever use it, but its nice to know.\n3. If you are getting bullied don't kid yourself that you aren't. It can be dealt with, even without help or support. \n4. Drop people in your life who are not supportive or who treat you badly. This erodes your confidence.\n\nThe most positive thing to remember is that you recognise that the way you are treated is bad and wrong. It took me a long time to come to terms with that and once I did the rest was easy. After all, how dare people treat you like sh**? Who the Hell are they? You ought to think that way the next time someone looks down their nose at you, mistreats you or makes you feel bad in some other way.\n\nGood luck!\n\nR
986461
There are many reasons why people bully. Often because they are very insecure in themselves. Sometimes they are angry or upset or feel that they don't fit in. It may be a way of showing off to peers and looking tough and important and in charge. People who bully others in one setting may be getting bullied themselves in some other setting, such as at home or school. Bullies may be scared of getting picked on so they make sure to do it first. If they don't like themselves they may take it out on someone else. Sometimes they think it will make them more popular. Sometimes they do it to get attention. Others might be jealous of the person they are bullying. They may just want to make others afraid of them. It sometimes makes them feel braver or more important or better about themselves.\n\nThese links should help.