Is it right to change your body to attract a partner?
402541
I will go against the PCness and say absolutely !!!\n\nI don't mean skin and bones, anorexic looking but I certainly have done it....Even if you don't get the person, you (I anyway) feel so much greater ! And..what about all those things to get rid of pimples, get the hair done, grooming, new clothes..etc etc ?\n\nTake it as motivation....I did it quite a while back but I was plump and didn't feel great. One guy was already fancying me, I wanted to be "better"....and the motivation stayed ....actually !:-).\n\nA lot of girls want to lose weight but gain it back..they get fed up and go back to bad habits thinking "what for anyway" : lack of motive and food ends up again as their best friend.\n\nAn ultimate goal ,even elusive , is the best motivation.\n\nThink about all the actors/actresses who have to lose/gain weight to play a role..well there's money no ?? (the pianist, the machinist..etc).\n\nMuch the same for about everything in life actually if you think about it.\nMost people want to study more, not for the knowledge, but to get a job, more money and all - whether you deem it good or bad, does not matter -.\n\nQuestion of mentality. Some people like to live on a day to day basis and others need to have a goal in mind.
470433
I think women are more accepting of the changes in men's bodies because ours change so much.Take a look around and see how many women you find with heavy men,or pot bellied ones.Then watch for men with overweight women,I think you"ll be surprised in the difference.Media has caused a lot of men to become more shallow.Be who you are and you"ll eventually find some one to love everything about your body.
160095
i will admit that a physical attraction often leads to a relationship but,i have dated men of all sizes.If a mans personality turns me on i do not see him as too thick or too thin.The trick is to get someone to notice the you inside.People who cant do that tend to be shallow and are not worth your time.You will find her.Hang in there.
870136
It's perfectly alright for you to not be physically attracted to her, and wish that she would make herself more attractive for you; however the second that you informed her that you were not happy with her appearance was the exact second that she realized that you did not love her unconditionally. You should have kept that info. to yourself and tried to help her lose the weight by playing a sport together or working out together so you can both be healthy. You blew it, and no matter what you do or say now, you have already made your feelings known and I guarantee you that she will never forget it. The question is...will she forgive you? It is easier to forgive, than to forget. Good luck, I'm afraid you are going to need it. Ouch!
946922
I don't know what a 'perfect' body shape is, for a man or woman. It is often the drive for perfection that leaves people unsatisfied with what they cannot change. Working out can improve your physique, but genetics will play a major role in how you look regardless of the amount of exercise you do.
564629
Well you could loose weight but do it for you, because you want to.  If someone cant accept you how you are then its probably not even worth a date.  Maybe you are looking to hard.  Im sure it has someone who is admiring your beauty but just a bit shy or intimidated to approach you.  You never know.  Sometimes it is important to find yourself and then someone will find you.  So dont be discouraged about not finding a date.  It happens to the best of us but be a bit patient and things will work out.
374330
Be willing and prepared to change.  You have to become a completely different person than you are right now.  Whatever attracts you to the other person will eventually drive you nuts.  And vice versa.  So if you like yourself, don't commit to a long term relationship.
22553
You don't need to "be less fat." If this guy is dating you, then he probably doesn't have a problem with your weight.  If he thinks you're too blah looking, then he isn't the right guy for you.  The right guy will like you for who you are and not for the clothes you wear.  I know it sounds cheesy, but it's the truth.  If you're changing your style because you (not him) want to make a change, there are lots of cute clothes at places like TJ Maxx that aren't that expensive. I hope this helps!
7142
Learn to be comfortable with yourself, with or without a partner. If you're comfortable in your own skin, you'll be more likely to attract a partner if that's what you want.
88396
yeah, why not? You date someone not because of his/her gender but because of his/her personality. But if dating for you means having sex and/or falling in love, the sex change does matter because by then you know, he/she isn't what he/she was. And your next question would be, can you accept that fact? If you do, then there is no difference at all.
468975
If you're married, no. You knew what you were getting into. If you're not married ... ask yourself why you got into this relationship in the first place. Are you that fickle that you'll change partners on a whim. I'd say your partner would probably be better off without you.
489308
Honestly? Yes! All things change. People change. Relationships change. Change is constant in all our lives. The real questions are who’s actively doing the changing? \nTo whom and what? And why? And in which direction? And what do you want to change?\n\nA relationship is between people. To change a relationship you have to change the people. The best place to start is with your-self.\n\nYou cannot simply expect the other to change - and they are going to resist your pressure to force them to anyway. But if YOU change, your partner and your relationship automatically have to follow.\n\nYou were once a baby. You changed. You became a young child. You changed again to a teenager. And again, you changed into a grown-up. \n\nDidn't you? Every time you changed, everyone around you did too and so did your relationships with them. People have a head start on life - changes. They are largely built- in until about twenty years old. \n\nThings happen fairly automatically and are largely to do with our bodies and minds simply growing and developing. And after twenty? Well\n\nWhen we are adults people change when they are thoroughly fed up with banging their head against the same old wall. They change when they cannot stand the boredom of continuing the way they are. They change when they find out, again, what they once and always knew - that they have Choice. that they Can!\n\nChange happens for all three reasons every day but some changes are good, some are bad, and a few are well - just neutral. \nWe need to learn how to be consciously aware of our own change process instead of remaining unaware and letting them just "happen to us", for good, bad or worse.
69998
You want to. You have a classic case of being physically attracted to one person while being emotionally attached to another. \n\nHard to say what to do. I say stick with the current girl and see if the physical attraction comes back. It's a lot harder to find someone that you're a good emotional fit with as opposed to physical.
567968
Of course! You are in control of your own body. Better yet...do it with your partner.
580809
When I first met my husband I thought he was a total dork and wanted nothing to do with him (in that way).  We became great friends and somewhere down the road he became very attractive to me.  So I guess the answer to your question is yes.  I was not physically attracted to him at first, then when I really got to know him his outter beauty was magnified by his inner beauty.
1005524
Yes. You can be attracted to a person's body, but not their mind. Or vice versa
781752
It's not an external problem so no matter how buff you get, it's not going to fix the problem.  You have self-esteem issues, you think you aren't worthy of love.  That is not true, but you might need the help of some counseling to help you re-program your own thought patterns so you don't keep thinking that way about yourself.  Stop the negative self-talk.