i have been with my boyfriend for 8 years and it seems like he never wants to have sex with me i always start?
405233
I was with my ex for 8 years as well and after about six years into the relationship, the sex became less and less.  By the eighth year in our relationship, we realized our situation was getting old and both agreed to move on.  My advice to you is to try new things with him (positions, places, etc) and try to spice things up...maybe rekindle the sex you had when you first started going out.  I really wish I would have tried, instead of giving up.\nGood luck!
540297
girl i have the same problem just talk to him in my case it dosen't work.  We have four kids and he still wants it all the time we have been together 8 years.  Don't  take it wrong i would like to do it every other day but not EVERYDAY  just try talking to him \n\nGOOD LUCK
715212
Your question brought tears to my eyes.  Your life sounds like mine when I was 20.  My so called boyfriend and I are 5 years apart also and we have a child together.  Your fiance sounds just like mine years ago. The life you are living is a hard one, I can feel your pain.   I left my boyfriend several times because of his controlling crazy ways. My friends werent good enough, he didnt like me to go out, he was jealous of anything and everything.  And he accused me of sleeping with anybody and everybody (male, female, dog, cat, if I looked at it I was sleeping with it).  He couldnt hold down a job either.  He was a good father also.  Remember men like this make good fathers because they are CONTROLLING. I used to think is this all there is for me like you do but trust me its not.  You can take your child and raise it by yourself.  I raised 2 kids at your age by myself.  Trust me this man is only going to drag you down.  Here I am years 15 years later and I am STILL going back and forth with the same man.  Only difference is now he has changed he is no longer that controlling jerk he used to be.  But it took 15 years to get here. And that is only because he matured in some areas but in other areas he is still a jerk.  We dont live together so why am I holding on? I am working on myself now to figure that out.  My question to you is.  Do you want to wait 15 years like me for this man to finally treat you with the respect you deserve? I can see your like me, you need to save yourself from yourself.  I thought I was in love, funny thing is I still do, but I also know what is best for me.  Men like this never change.  Mine changed his controlling ways but only because he had no choice.  I have figured out through the years that guys like this are always going to find a way to hurt you.  The hurt never stops.  Don't say you made your bed so you should lie in it.  No one deserves the kind of treatment you receive.  I really think you will be able to make a good life for you and you child.  I did.  I am successful and have 2 great kids.  Funny thing is now "jerk" wants to settle down.  But the past is some thing you never forget.  Especially when he is still doing little stupid things that hurt me.  Like I said the hurt never stops.  I would love to give you strength and advice to help you through this because I can sense there is probally more to your story just like their is more to mine.  Dont think you are being selfish.  That was my problem years ago.  I put everyones happiness before my own.  Only sacrifice you need to make is for your child, remember that.  Your child needs to be raised in a loving argue free environment.  It is going to be hard.  Beause this guy has ahold of your mind, more than a hold on your heart.
915072
Maybe he is having problems preforming and he is insecure about it. I am 20 and my husband is 34 and we have been together for 2 years. Sometimes you still love each other and you still find one another attractive, but you just need a break from the sexual part of the relationship. Are you feeling pressure from the idea of marriage? Are you both stressed out in any way more than usual, maybe from planning a wedding? It all factors in, as long as you still love each other, it's OK. Sex isn't everything.
656944
It seems like you want sex more when you can't get it.  It sounds like he is using that as an excuse.  I have never heard of a man getting bored with sex.  Talk to him and if you can live without the sex stay with him, if not kick him to the curb.
612530
Try some new things. She is probably just bored. It is easy to get into a rut of doing the same things when you have been with someone for a long time. Having lived through this situation, it is vital that you talk openly about this, and maybe seek some professional advice before it is too late. Especially if your sex life is a proxy for some other issue. If some other part of your relationship is not doing well it can show-up here. Also keep in mind that other things like stress, medical conditions, and oral birth-control pills can have a deliterious affect on one's desire.
503726
Maybe it's not that he doesn't LIKE it, maybe he CAN'T have sex that often.  Some men can't, it could be a medical condition.  Just talk to him about it.  Let him know that you have needs.  If he can't have sex maybe he would be willing to stimulate and pleasure you some other way.  Communication is very important though.  Let him know how much you desire him and wanna be with him.  Sometimes guys gotta hear that stuff too!
1142293
Yes. I've heard from personal stories. Everybody's different. He may be one with low sex drive, or yours higher. Could even be psycological issues, though I don't think that is usually the case. Happy bed time!
963759
Sounds like a no. You have been having sex with him, probably living with him - he has no need to get married; you are giving him all that he wants and he is totally comfortable. Talk to him again, and get married before the baby comes!
312938
Guys are really hard to understand.  Maybe he just want some one on one time with you or maybe he just want sex.  My parents were really strict and when I was in college I had my first boyfriend.  His name was Kenneth.  He was my age but he was a senior in high school and I was a college freshman.  We both lived with our  parents.  Throughout our entire year of dating, we never were alone.  I swear to God, we were never alone anywhere together.  There was always my parents, my cousins, my sister, his family, or his friends.  We lived within walking distance of each other.  Niether one of us had a car or could drive.  It was frustating to him because he wanted to have sex but I didn't care because we were both virgins and I wasn't going there.  After a year of dating he ended up breaking up with me for that very frustrating reason.  We are still friends 12 years later.  When I ask him why we broke up then, he always tells me he was a horny little teenager and I wasn't trying to hear it.  So I'm sure that might have something to do with it.  If so, leave him alone.  You're probably about 16 anyways and don't need to be around a guy alone.  I appreciate my parents strict rules.  Remember, your parents always want the best for you.
1057272
i have had a boyfriend for two years now and were both 18 and we decided to not have sex because we both feels its very pointless. we just have too much oral sex instead!! ^_^
180353
Talk to him. tell him how you feel, and if he understands and respects your descisions then thats great! if he doesnt then good ridance! he's not worth it, and he's an as*hole for using you!\n\nBut for things to work out you need to stop having sex with anyone, you have to start loving and respecting yourself, being introduced to sex at young age must have been traumatic for you. \n\nif you like reading books, i seggest you find this book: Title-your past doesnt determine your future\nAuthor: Bo Sanchez\n\nhe has the same problems on what you have, this book is very cheap and so worth it.\n\nif it's not available at your place, give me your address and i can mail it to you, dont give your address on-line.\n\nif you want to talk to me, this is my email: lovesoulmandy@yahoo.com\n\ni've been through, what you've been through. but i overcame them.
215750
It sounds like he's just really afraid of getting hurt.  I wouldn't say your relationship is only sex though, you've had some great deep coversations and have been friends for a long time.  I definately think there is the potential for a good relationship here.  The only thing is, he needs to be on board.  Don't try to force a relationship if he's not ready.  Talk to him about it, and try to gain his trust.  Sometimes when someone has closed themselves off for that long, they have a hard time opening up again.
250941
Well you have been together for six years that is pretty good, but guess what to keep it going is going to take work. From both of you. Don't be mean, that isn't going to help the situation. You two really need to sit down and talk together, you may just be going through a hormonal time where sex is uninteresting to you, that happens. You may be bored with how it happens, that happens in every long term relationship. Communicate before the relationship goes totally south. There isn't anything wrong with you that some talking can't help with. If that doesn't work, talk with a doctor maybe there is physical reason for this, like medications or something. Don't feel bad, but let your man know that you love him anyhow and see what you can do. If it bothers you then work on fixing it. Please don't be mean to him during sex,if you love him, that is seriously going to backfire on you. My best to you.
395443
well one of 3 things could be the source of the problem 1. he doesnt actually care about sex all that much and is just happy being with you 2. feels insecure in bed 3. just might not beable to keep up with or sex drive. just let it lay things will change plus only 4 months in a relationship dont let sex rule the relationship cuz then it will fall apart
616335
First of all, U need to more of a woman and step up in this relationship and take action tell he neeed to get it together or u will move on with ur life. Instead of argue with a complete wall, u need to focus on ur own life and get ur self together and be independed and stand on ur own. I bet u r young and still got ur whole ahead of u, and need to get into colleges and job to find ur way back into reality. I know u got ur head on ur shoulder and also have dream of ur own. Focus on ur dreams and stop trying change a man that dont wanna be change. U need to change ur situation and like I said: "focus on u."  Now men comes and goes, but for one thang U have ur self to fall back on. If u have kids then u need to focus on u and ur kids.  That man u have right now, is a grow-a*s-man. He is not going change for u or any body els. So quit trying to change him. If he wont have sex wit u then find somebody else. Now its up to u to decided if u want out of this relationship or not!!
906866
This may be hard to hear but he is too old for you.\nStick to your guns and don't let anyone force you into sex until you're ready.\nNot only let him sleep with others, push him right out the door to do it!!