When a Husband and Wife disagree about discipline for the children, should one "win"?
413636
One month let Mom discipine boy and dad any girls, then switch each month. I child plays parents against eachother, sterner parent can rule
1098476
That's a tough one. I don't know how you handle discipline in your house but something that has worked for me (I am the primary care taker for my boyfriend's two children who are both from different unions) is using a good marble/bad marble system. I know it sounds kinda corny at first, but, you make a customized fair list of the behaviors that are not acceptable (whining and petty tattling is on our list) and they get a bad marble (btw we have pickle jars labeled good and bad) anytime they exhibit these behaviors and if they get too many (say 5 or more depending on how minor or major they are) they get restricted from a privilege. However, it wouldn't be any fun if they didn't get rewarded when they are behaving so you can make a list or decided on a moment to moment basis if they are being good (sharing, doing things when told, remembering to put a plate in the sink etc.. whatever works for your household) and if they get so many good marbles I let them make a list of a few fun things we can do around the house for 30 minutes, and another short list of things we could do that would cost a little more that we would have to drive to or something like a small toy and I reward them weekly with something fun for being good and helping me out.  You may need to do it as a daily system. I used to use it daily but now that the boy is older and better behaved we only have to use it weekly now. Sometimes children just need a little guidance and to know what the rules are, and to know what is unacceptable and when they can see that their behavior is not good consistently and they are rewarded for being good they will want to change.. especially if you make a big deal out of them being good.  Good Luck... hope this helps or gives you some ideas anyway.
757940
I live in a traditional asian home and my husband and I had trouble with his daughter for another marriage because she wasn't raisned traditionaly. Finaly it came down to him giving up the child and things became alot better. He could see that her being raised most of the time by another parent that is not traditional was making it difficult for us to raise our other children. He also felt bad for her for no reason other than the fact that things didn't work with her mom nand had trouble punishing her when she was bad. It was a mess and I was expecting our first child together. I was at the end of my rope. I told him to start going to see her somrplace else other then our house to see her. He ended up cheating on me while I was expecting and we almost got divorced. I told him If I took my kids to see someone else while we were together would he want me to keep the kids. He said no and stoped seeing her all thogether. It was the end of it, but we are now alot happier.\nSometimes things like this can ruin a marriage. Tell him how you feel it might turn into a fight, but you really need to lay down the law that this has to end with him letting the other kid rule your lives and not treating him the same as the others and that if he is unable to do that then you are going to lose it and it might end the marriage.
861939
If you have been splitting custody for a while, and the kid is not having behavior problems and doing well in school, the judge will usually not mess with custody.  If it ain't broke, why fix it.\n\nChildren deserve both parents.  It makes me sick when parents use the courts, and their children, to play out little power trips.   And no matter who "wins" in court, the kids ALWAYS lose.  Always.
170677
Trouble alert ... trouble alert...\n\nIf he is being controlled by her, you will not be happy. If there are no children in the picture, simply confront your partner - his ex-wife has no say in how he runs his life (again, in absence of children, and even then, only in how it affects the children). Let him know that this is unacceptable and that you want it to stop.\n\nNot bringing up the subject is going to cause trouble. His ex-wife will constantly push until she meets resistance - make sure that the resistance is there at a level that **you and your partner** are comfortable with.\n\nAnother problem - is your partner allowing this to happen? I don't know your situation, but is he entirely over her? Him allowing his ex-wife to control him is odd.
716975
Children learn from their parents I have always been told.\nTo me it is just a game, if we lose. we lose there is always another game.. But when you get a bunch of ill mannered players together that have never been able to control their tempers under any situation, how do you expect them to behave proper when playing any game.\nAnd then they say will we are sorry, if they were sorry they should never have done it in the first place.\nAgain they don't understand where their children have learned bad habits and bad sportsmanship. The players should look in a mirror and see where the kids learned it from...
415889
I think beating your wife is wrong.....everything can be worked out by talking....
662494
staying with a person for the sake of kids is a terrible thing to do to the kids.\nThey see you unhappy , fighting,, it is wrong and you cant hide thing's like that from kids.\nIf you are truly unhappy then you just need to sit your husband down and have a long talk with him, after that you two need to talk to your kids..\nthen after all is said and dun go for the co-worker
1109783
It is your house you have the right to set limits.  And since there are children involved, I say ABSOLUTELY give her the boot.  This is not healthy behavior and could be damaging to your children.  Tell her she is a grown woman and needs to stop acting like a lovestruck teen and deal with this in a mature fashion, and in her own home!
416505
If they are constantly fighting or even if there is just constant tension then that's worse for the kids in the long run.\n\nIf they are happier apart then it will be better in the long run for the kids. I just wish people would think more seriously about the state of their relationships before leaping into having children.
48491
Sounds like a dysfunctional family.  Try to deep the children away from her as much as possible.  There has got to be an underlying reason for this kind of hostility.  Any idea what that could be?  Does your husband have anything to say about this?  I wish I had some profound words of wisdom for you, but I am at a loss.
997607
There is always a fight with kids when you try to regulate everything.  But you are the father and you decide what is best.  Make up a reasonable schedule and inforce it.  Know that the fights are inevitable, but don't allow the fights to get out of hand.  Let them know who is the boss and that there will be no arguing about it
663511
Quite the conundrum.\n\nThere are such things as survivable marriages.  Divorce really should be a last, last, last resort, especially once kids are involved.\n\nThat said, there can be a point where more harm comes to the kids with a bitter marriage.  Mom and Dad never get along.  One or both drink too much, are never home, abusive, etc.  \n\nKids are fairly resilient.  They recover well so long as both parents remember that through divorce the kids needs are most important.  \n\nI'm in a good (not great) marriage.  I could easily get "lazy" and neglect my marriage based on this.  (Cheating, withdrawing etc) but the kids need a stable family and my life really isn't all that bad.  (After all, I CHOSE my wife and CHOSE to have kids).  \n\nDivorce is NEVER good when kids are involved.  It is a question of which is the worse of two evils:  A less than good marriage with the family working to hold together or a impulsive divorce that destroys kids faith in adults, parents and family.
833949
This: "What should I do if he again makes up with his ex?" question is tough one, though the fact is that you CAN compete with the mom, yes, because the've probably conserved the respect to each other, but the love is that is already gone and you have this advantage on your side.\n\nI have an advise for you concerning the kid. The children, especially if they are much younger have unfallable  ability to evaluate man's personality- they are pure and see the world with an objective eye. So if you want (and you should) to get along with the kid, be yourself, don't try to hard, no pretences, no sweet wordings just for the sake of it. \n\nJust enjoy what you have together and think of the potential problems when they actually turn into a real ones:)
332464
Honey, it's a tough situation all the way around. You both need to find a way to sit the kids down together and have a full blown disscussion. The kids are going to need reassurances from both of you that you both will still be active in their lives and that what is going on is not their fault. Both of you as parents need to make sure that both kids know that they can count on you and come to you whenever they need to. If it were me,as a mom of 3, I would put aside whatever has caused the seperation and call a meeting with my kids and my husband and do exactly as I said above.
339044
the husband and wife should work things out together, neither should have the say so, just because of who they are, the parents have nothing to do with any decision you may have, they might give advice if asked.
392859
no, because you are just hurting the children. They can sense your unhappiness and you are just making them hurt like you both are and that is being selfish. Sit the children down and explain to them what your are going through children now a days are alot smarter than you think don't make them choose be adults and make it a easy as possible for them so they don't have to choose between the both of you. Make the seperation smooth it's going to be hard at first but you both have to be strong for them and do not bad mouth each other.