How do i forgive an affair?
405366
If you know it is over and you want to move on, it really is very easy.  Your forgivness is NOT for his sake, but for yours.  By forgiving, you will leave the burden behind and open your heart for true love.  Not forgiving will be harder and hurt only you!  Forgive and move on!
234936
It takes time, patience and a real willingness to want to forgive and forget.  If you can't forgive and forget, then you will never learn to trust again.  Think of it this way.  No one is perfect, even you and I have made and will continue to make mistakes (sometimes big ones).  Just give yourself PLENTY of time and take baby steps.  It may take a few years even, but if the relationship(s) are better afterwards, it will be worth your while.
449229
There is only one way to do that.. CLEAN! You need a completely clean break, no contact of any kind. If you are truly in love, but are going to end it (which, BTW, is the right thing to do if it is an extramarital affair), then you need to cease all communication and just try to move on.
1102632
You NEVER!!! truly get a person you have loved completely out  of your heart...  The pain will go away in time but you will never forget, and you shouldn't.  The best thing (In my opinion) would be to look back at GOD and ask for his guidance.  Hatred in any situation only leads to more hatred.  Foul tempers are never truly cooled unless both sides are able and willing to give (be flexible and understanding)  He seems to want to blame you for his inability to be faithful.  But it takes a conscious effort to say Yes or No to infidelity.  There are no excuses for it, and no explanations to water it down.  He is making excuses and the true fault lies squarely at his feet.  If he has a problem with you it needed to be discussed by BOTH OF YOU...  No problem cant be worked through if both sides are willing to try.  Do NOT take excuses...  Take action and let him suffer his illusions and lies by himself.  You can do better, and deep down you know it!!!\nGood luck and I hope you finally find your "happiness".
1180863
My mother described suffering an affair like losing a loved one in death.   Really painful.  You have to morn and greive over the experience, but at some point (for your own sake) you have to let go or hatred and anger will eat you up inside and change you into a different person.  And no one, not even your husband of 9 years should have that kind of power over you.
417732
You have to ask yourself " do I want to stay friends with one or both of these people " If so stay out of It , They have issues in the marriage and if you get involved you will be in the middle of this mess . the one who is cheating will take offense at anything you say and will be angry for taking sides . The cheater will feel betrayed and angry that you don't understand their side and listen as a friend should . The one that is not cheating will be angry that you have caused trouble in the relationship if the affair is brought to light if the affair isn't brought to light you will be blamed for not telling . If the relationship ends both people will blame you for the whole mess . The beat thing you can do would be to explain to your friend the cheater that you would like it if the affair remains quiet and you wish to remain ignorant of the details so if any questions are ever raised by the other party you can act as if you know nothing . Also explain that you are being placed in a very hard position and wish to remain friends with both parties and if the affair comes to light and the relationship should end you will not be able to do so , Ask the cheater to respect your wishes as a friend . If he/she is a true friend he/she will understand ,and respect your wishes .
134613
Tell him you are sorry and that you will never do that kind of a thing again. Never involve yourself with married people. Think about it this way. What if someone else interfered in you blissful marriage and spoilt it. Ask for her forgiveness and stay clear from such entanglements.
117478
I would need to know why she had an affair...what did she feel was missing with you and her.  Woman who cheat usually do so because something is missing. If you can fin d that out and correct it it wsill be easier for her not to cheat again....then for that special date...depending on what you find out...add whatever it is to the date and keep doing it.
564280
Well the word should be forgive as one never forgets...  If you truly love him and want to be with him, you will and can find it in your heart to forgive him...  But remember the possibility is always going to be there he will do it again.  Not always once a cheater awlays a cheater.  You will hear that.  That is not a fair statement. \nBest wishes to you.
445576
I think when the trust is broken,\nyou'd really need to give it time.\n\nYou cannot expect it to be alright after doing something as an apology, meaning, it might really be difficult to wipe away the hurt caused.\n\nIf it's something you did that hurt him/her,\nmaybe you have to use your actions to show him/her that that was just a mistake and it would never happen again.\n\nIt's going to take time,\nI don't think it'll be an immediate effect.\n\nSo if he/she's really so important to you,\nand you didn't mean to hurt her.\nYou have to be patient.\n\nBecuase it's not so easy.\nAll the best.
552851
I would first confront him with it and then tell her I knew about the affair just to see what she would have to say about it. Trust is an important part of a marriage so if you don't have that you need to think about what you want out of life...............
260959
cheating can always be forgiven if the cheater is truly sorry and you both really love each other and want things to work out. (so only 1 act of cheating)
99338
I'd recommend getting a therapist or religious clergy person involved in this process.  You both need someone neutral to help work through trust issues.  However, the counseling will only help if you and your wife are BOTH interested in mending your relationship.  It will be a long road, but you can get through this with time and support.  It will be more important than ever to be honest with each other and make time for your relationship.\n\nWhile some say "once a cheater always a cheater" that is often true.  In my experience that's been the case most often.  However, it's not an absolute!  I've also experienced the other side.  People can change and people make mistakes.  Relationships need to grow and perhaps it was just in the growing stage during the affair.  If you are both committed to make it work you can get back to what you had.
806569
Although there is no justification for cheating, statistics say that about 50% couples have cheated on his/her spouse. But when your unfaithful spouse gives you an excuse for cheating, it is simply a way to personally justify the behavior and to feel more at ease with the decision to cheat. Why your spouse cheated on you is something you may never really know for sure. There are no simple answers or reasons. There are lots of excuses given by cheaters.\n\nYou are Not to Blame - If your spouse has been cheating on you, realize that you are not to blame, you are not a mind reader, and although the two of you were in the same marriage, your spouse made the decision to cheat. People who are unfaithful are selfish. It is easier for them to cheat and to leave than it is to work on their marriage. \n\nDon't Obsess Over Excuses - Don't obsess over the excuses you may hear from your unfaithful spouse. They are just words and personal justifications for your mate's hurtful behavior.\nRegardless of the reasons given for being unfaithful, the bottom line is that your spouse has cheated.\n\nAn Affair Doesn't Mean the End of a Marriage - That doesn't mean your marriage is doomed. It does mean that your marriage needs help. Whether or not your marriage can survive infidelity depends on whether or not you both are willing to seek counseling and to move forward.\n\nExcuses are Just Words\nThe "Our Marriage was Already Over" Type of Cheating Excuses\nThe "It's All your Fault" Type of Cheating Excuses\nThe "It's All My Fault" Type of Cheating Excuses\nThe "Grass is Greener" Type of Cheating Excuses\n\nWhat You Do Need to Know - Here is what you do need to know in order to save your marriage after an affair.\nHow long has the extramarital affair been going on?\nHas your spouse had more than one affair? If so, how many affairs?\nWas there a strong emotional bond in this affair?\nIs the affair over? \nDo both of you want to save your marriage?\n\nYou have hope that your marriage can survive your spouse cheating on you. But you still fill sick inside when you think about the affair. Here's what you can do to get beyond the hurt, forgive your unfaithful spouse, and save your marriage.\n\nHere's How:\n1. Don't make any major decisions about ending your marriage now just because your spouse has been unfaithful. This is the time to do some reflection on your marriage to see what other issues other than this infidelity need to be recognized and dealt with.\n\n2. Feelings are neither right or wrong. Accept that your feelings of rage, uncertainty, shock, agitation, fear, pain, depression and confusion about having an unfaithful spouse are normal. \n\n3. Take care of yourself. You may have some physical reactions to the infidelity such as nausea, diarrhea, sleep problems (too little or too much), shakiness, difficulting concentrating and not wanting to eat or binge eating. \n\n4. Balance is the key to getting through this experience of coping with infidelity. Force yourself to eat healthy foods, to stay on a schedule, to sleep regular hours, to get some exercise each day, to drink plenty of water and to have some fun. \n\n5. It's okay and healthy to laugh. Watch some funny movies or TV shows. Spend some time with people who make you smile. Life goes on in spite of heartache and unfaithful spouses.\n\n6. Tears are healthy too. If they aren't coming naturally, put on some blues type music or watch a sad movie. \n\n7. Begin a journal. Write down your thoughts and feelings about your spouse's unfaithfulness. \n\n8. Ask all the questions you want.Talk with your spouse about the infidelity. However, you may have to accept that your spouse may not know why the infidelity took place.\n\n9. Seek counseling if required. Don't try to get through coping with unfaithfulness alone. \n\n10. Try not to get into the blaming game over who or what caused the infidelity. It's ju
50069
Nothing. You must say "I'm sorry" one hundred thousand times, and then be prepared to say "I'm sorry" two hundred thousand times more. There will be days that something will cause him to think of your infidelity...maybe he hears a country "cheatin" song, or he sees the person you cheated with, or he will question what else have you lied about?, the list is a long one! Run, don't walk to a marriage counselor! Be honest, you will do the most work on yourself, and that's not easy, however you must understand what made you do what you did. When he needs to tell you how he feels, let him, don't shut him out. Lack of communication will end even a good marriage! Good Luck & remember to forgive yourself as well!
374584
You need to back off and give your partner some space. He/she may decide that it is definitely over but it is their choice not yours you had the affair. You can't rebuild trust by playing games or taking quizzes on the internet. Try to be the best parent you can to your kids.
746950
it depend on the nature of getting out.were u heartbroken? if yes then the best way to get over a broken heart is to get under another relationship. but if u were tired of the affair and thoughtfully decided 2 chicken out i will advice u to give urself time 2 rest b4 starting anode.remember not 2 compare ur next victim or guy 2 the previous 'cos guys are not thesame and while planing 2 start another, remember dat u also have a weak point, u might be responsible 4 ur broken relationship.be wise, think well and enjoy ur next encounter, u will not regret it!.