Are you a nice person? Do people always take advantage of your generosity?
414896
yeah it used to make me so angry!\nthe way i've learned to deal with it is make it very apparent that there is certain stuff I won't put up with. for the past 3 years i have taken no nonsense from guys i've dated. if someone lies to me, or i can tell is using me, i call him on it. i let him know it's unacceptable and i don't keep those types of ppl around. i am not a mean person; i will do almost anything for people in need and i don't look for fights but when i have someone close to me i do not want them to be treating me badly and i won't stand for it. because of this, everyone who knows me now knows i won't be used (a few years ago this guy used me 'til the cows came home.. thank goodness i will never go through that hell again!)\n\ni would be angry at myself and at them for using me. i've turned that frustration into motivation to keep my life and relationships cleaner and healthier and always think "do i really want this (how the person's treating me) in my life? is this good?"
739530
Actually happened to me.  \nEverybody let everybody go ahead and go first.  \nSometimes we waited in lines and exchanged stories with each other.   \nI didn't see anybody act greedy or rude or impatient.\nIt was a very humbling experience to see that human nature, during hard times, is extremely giving and tolerant.
490486
Often, not always, welathy think their material wealth makes them inherently better people.  Often the opposite is true.  Many times wealthy demonstrate more character flaws than do middle class working individuals.  If your car ever breaks down it won't be a rich person who stops and helps--it will be a middle class or poor person.  I walked out of a shopping mall to find I had a dead battery late one night and I asked a nice BMW owner for a jump (i had cables in my trunk.)  He shook his head and said, "No."\n\nIn a poetic twist of fate that only O. Henry would appreciate, about two weeks later I drove past this guy while he was getting out of his car with a blown out tire.  It was late one evening and I was returning from a high school basketball game that had just ended.  I stopped to help him and I recognized him immediately.  He thanked me for stopping.  Once I saw him and laughed and reminded him of his refusal to help me with my dead battery.  He apologized and said he was in a hurry that day.  I smiled and said, "What do you know.  I'm in a hurry tonight.  Good luck, Pal."\n\nYes, I know I was just like him.  But perhaps for the first time in his life he understood how the shoe felt on HIS foot.  I may have helped him more by leaving him deserted on that lonely stretch of road than I could have ever helped him by changing his spare tire for him.
508760
Yes, people can be rude asses, but the trick is to act like you are just thrilled to answer to their every whim.  Before long you will actually enjoy knowing what they need before they need it and most people will tip well for that.  They really just want a friendly/efficient person to make their day a little better.  Just look back on how you like to be treated when out to eat and follow that.
676398
i don't think you can be too nice.... there's not enough nice people out here in the world as it is..... but you can't let people run over you either.... people tend to see niceness as a weakness.... but whatever.... continue being yourself.. and if that's nice.. then be it.... just don't take no crap from nobody
795762
Much of the time. But in the past couple of months I have met someone who, through many long conversations, has helped me to be nicer to myself. He is much the same as me, and I think we have worked as a great team to help each other be better people :)
90062
Why would you want to do that?  Being charitable is nice, but have you seen what % of people become repeat offenders.  Keep your distance from them and save yourself a lot of heartache.
438873
Will you give money to anyone who asks??\n\nThere is your answer
997350
I dont give money, i give food, i always carry food with me to give to the needy. its a really nice thing, or if you have restaraunt leftovers, they love those too!\nplus you know that they are not using it for drugs or alcohol, and that they will gain some nourishment from it.
653077
The times I worked voluntarily often proved to be the richest times for me. Not only did they help my attitude towards others but God is no ones debtor! Somebody gave me all the cash I needed to learn  to drive! people gave me nice diving watches, paid for my holidays abroad etc. \n\nTry it!
798914
I once helped a friend and her 19 year old daughter out when they became homeless.  They were living in their car.  During this period I paid their car insurance, fed them,  loaned them money and let them spend the night a few times.\n\nI asked them to Thanksgiving Dinner, they came, they ate, they stayed 5 weeks.  When they left they never said a word of thanks \nNot one single word................\n\nI stood in the driveway waving bye........3 months later they asked to stay with me again?  My responce was, I can give you a couple bucks but I really don't want house guests right now.\n\nI think I would have agreed, if they had at least said "thanks" for all the help I had given before. Doing favors and helping out  friends is just something you do.  But I think the level of kindness becomes burdensome without appreciation.
1111362
We all should be nice to every one. Some day you could loose all your money, and wouldn't you want people that have more than you to be nice to you? You don't have to have them as a friend but they can be a lot of fun too. Some times people don't spend money to have fun.
1138377
you want to give away some money ?
749992
a giver i am very good to people
770105
I offered my place in line to a guy who had less items than me, and he was so shocked, he offered to pay for my items! (I didn't accept), but then I was shocked at how nice he was!  Sad, that we both were shocked at simple politeness, isn't it?---Today, I saw an old man carrying a gas can and walking, and offered him a ride, he smiled so big, and said no thanks, he didn't have far to go,but he brightened up, just having someone offer.........yes,sometimes complete stangers cheer me up on my bad, sad, days.......a kind word can make or break you ,some days..........
1658
That's the life. People easily take but hardly give. But if you have lots of friends (true friends), they will certainly help you.\nBtw, you help other people NOT because you want to be helped by others, don't you?
386863
Well, of course, Mac, it depends on the behavior.\n\nI always make allowances for the frailties and failings of my friends, as they do for mine. I know them very well, from what they have told me, and from what I have seen and inferred. No one is perfect.\n\nSomehow, I do not think that this is what you are talking about.\n\nIf people are taking advantage of you, abusing your good nature and high ideals, it is time to look within, and without.\n\nIf people are abusing your generosity, either your generosity of spirit, or with your time, or money, or anything else, it is time to look within, and without.\n\nIf people are abusing your Knight's Code of Honour, it is time to look WITHOUT.\n\nPeople who abuse you or who take advantage of you are not friends. \n\nPeople who care only for themselves, and not for you, or who do not or cannot see you well enough to understand the effect their actions are having on you, are not friends.\n\nPeople who use your high ideals, generosity, and Code of Honour against you are not friends. They are SLIME. VOMITOUS SLIME.\n\nIf you begin to sense a pattern, it is time for some serious evaluation and soul searching. \n\nYou must stop and evaluate both yourself, and your own motivation for maintaining these relationships, and the behavior of the "suspects."\n\nWhat needs and desires of yours are contributing? What have they done for YOU lately? Why are you letting these people treat you badly, if indeed they are.\n\nSometimes friends go through a rough patch, and become very self-centered and needy. With genuine friends, however, this is temporary, and your assistance and support is appreciated. Over time, the give and take is RECIPROCAL. \n\nWhen you need or want something from these people (and can bring yourself to admit it!)  :-)) are they available for YOU? Are your needs, wants and desires important? Even considered?\n\n[sigh] Mac, I cannot tell you when it is time to say a final goodbye.\n\nUnless true betrayal: lies, theft, infidelity - some kind of true dishonour, is involved, there is no easy answer, my friend.\n\nI have even forgiven, and still love, my best friend's sister, who stole from me.\n\nShe is a crackhead. She was staying in my home. When she took off, she took some cash.\n\nI understand that it is the crack that stole from me, not my friend. It has damaged my trust, but I still love her.\n\nI am so reluctant to say final goodbyes to people I love. I have done so, when the betrayal warranted it, but it is so painful, and leaves a hole in my heart, of exactly the size and depth of my original love for the person.\n\nBut sometimes, it must be done.  \n\nI have made the decision to "take Zen away from so-and-so, because so-and-so no longer deserved to have her."\n\nPerhaps you can look at these relationships from a third person point of view. If these people were treating a beloved friend the way they treat YOU, what would your advice to the beloved friend be?\n\nI hope this is an academic question!\n\nI hope it is NOT personal.\n\nTake good care of my Mac, my Knight!\n\n*************\n\nEdit:\n\nSometimes a period of complete disillusionment is the best time to evaluate a relationship.\n\nAll of the cobwebs are swept away, or burned away in the cold fire of the disenchantment. One is able to clearly see through all the "I wish" "I hope" "How it could be" and "How I wish it was" to WHAT IS.\n\nThese icy moments of clarity are sometimes the best times to truly, honestly evaluate what one sees, lifted above the hot cauldron of emotion. One must rise above anger, as well, however.\n\nOne can then assess the relationship clearly, and either choose to maintain it, seen in a new, truer, light, or to abandon it, once seen for what it really is.