help, my best friends ex and i are kinda.... just read???
397035
just simply tell him that u dont think it is right anymore and u just wanna be friends and still talk? but tell him the reason is b/c u dont wanna hurt ur best friend?
264511
just be completely honest with your feelings. It will hurt him either way.\n\nDon't lead him on thinking that nothing will change and that you guys will still be friends, because thats what my ex did when she broke up with me, and it hurt a lot, but it hurts even still today because I still am hoping that what she told me was true, that we are still friends and that I can still talk to her, but its not.  however when she told me I couldn't ever loose hope.  I miss her a lot, and I still love her, and having to hold onto something that I know isn't true hurts the most\n\nSo just be 100% honest, don't try to make him feel better about the situation, because it just makes it that much harder in the future.
138666
It sounds like everything has already worked itself out. Your ex is dating your best friend, and you are dating one of her best friends. \n\nIs there someone out of the 4 of you that isn't happy with the arrangement?
1072575
umm stay with ur man u guys just gota do somethign diff to spice things up... from my experience dont go after ur BFF's ex..my ex and i broke up and she went out with my best friend... they ended up breakin up and she tried to get back with me... now i dont like either of them.!! its just not right and could cause a bunch of problems like not ever talking to ur bff anymore and u said he is your friend then if u guys break up u might not be friends anymore.... so stick with ur man!!!
393815
I have been in this situation, and it is very hard to deal with, esp if you were into the guy before he got together with your friend!\n\nAll I can say is keep your feelings buried for now - it wouldnt be any good to let either of them in on houw you feel, because that would just ruin your friendships. Who knows, given time you may move on, meet the guy of your dreams and suddenly all feelings for your friend's guy will be out the window (it happened for me!). Otherwise, it may not work out between the two of them, in which case ONCE THE DUST HAS SETTLED (its important to wait until it is well and truly over for both of them, or someone will end up hurt) you will be free to see how he feels about you. \n\nIf you do end up dating him though, make sure your friend is okay with the idea, as I have also been in the position where my ex ended up dating two of my friends - weirdly enough, I was fine about it when he dated my best friend soon after we broke up, in fact I set them up, but by the time he dated the other friend a good while later, it drove me mad seeing them together, and it made me realise I wasn't over him at all (but thats a whole other story!).\n\nThe last thing I will say though - while I repeat it woud be a bad idea to tell either of them about your feelings right now, one thing that really helped me through everything (both being the one with feelings for my friend's guy and seeing my ex date my friends) was having another friend whom I trusted completely and who knew everyone concerned but wasn't part of the group so much. I was able to tell him everything that was going on in my head and getting my feelings out really helped me to get over them - keeping your feelings to yourself with no outlet will not help you move on, it will only intensify them. So tell someone whom you trust not to blab, even if its only your diary!!!\n\nGood luck, and if you need a chat, get in touch any time!\n\nJoji x
109273
Just brake up with him because your friend probably said she didn't care if you to dated in the first place but she really did. Trust me my EX best friend dated my brother and now we now longer talk at all because she began choosing him over me and everybody else and remember bf come and go and true friends are forever. Do yourself and your friend a faver and stop it now before it ends up like we did and stopped being friends all together.
592660
What a mess!  Tell your friend, she deserves to know.If you talked about your ex around your friend. She'll know to drop him, because she'll know what kind of guy he is. You won't lose a friend, but she'll need you to be there.
800922
This should definetely be his decision....only he knows who he has stronger feelings for...but you didn't necessarily state why they broke up....if it was because she did something to him, you might want to convince him and let him know that you would never do that (and keep your word about it), but other than that, I think you're just gonna have to lie and wait...just be his friend in the mean time, don't pressure him to choose a you or his ex right now
776486
Rule Number 1 of friendship is that you NEVER date an ex of theirs--especially if it's your best friend.  That's almost like incest or something.  Even if you asked her and she agreed with it; somewhere within herself it would hurt her tremendously.  She just wouldn't want you to know that.\n\nRule Number 2 is that you learned a lot about the guy by the way he treated your best friend.  If he was a jerk to her, he'll repeat actions with you.  I personally think he just wants to ruin your friendship and make your best friend suffer by watching the two of you together.\n\nJust don't do it.  There are TOO MANY people out there to narrow things down to a best friend's jerk of an exboyfriend.  That's immediately set up for failure in two aspects.
1104265
Ask your friend. I know you said ex-bestfriend but you r still friends right? If you arent then I would think you can go ahead and pursue her but if you are still friends then talk to your friend and find out how he feels about it first. Remember, friends sometimes last a lot longer than gf/bf relationships.
441424
Wow, that person with the whole exes are like poison has some serious issues.  Trust me, I've never had an experiance like that in my life, so I think he's just a little bit out there.  Re-infected every time you talk to an ex?  WTF?  Can we say "can't move on"?\n\nI've been able to remain friends with many of my exes, but I think part of that is because most of my break ups were mutual.  I think that if you got dumped by her, it might be harder.\n\nI would suggest writing her a letter or email with whatever you want to say.  Tell her that you were really hurt when you broke up, and you just wanted to say that you've made your way through it and would like to see if a friendship between you would be possible.  Then the ball is in her court, if she doesn't respond, then don't push the issue further.  If she gives you a call or send you an email back, have coffee together and talk about what has been going on in your life since the break up.\n\nJust don't have coffee and re-hash the break up, I doubt your ex wants to do that and while it might make you think it will feel better, in reality it will probably just make both of you uncomfortable.  If you start feeling like a friendship is making you feel worse, then its not the right thing to be doing right now.\n\nWork on building a new friendship with an eye on the future, not on the past.
944095
to play it safe. you should just be his best friend right now. show him that you can listen and help him cope with his feelings. show him that you can be there when youre needed. show him that youre willing to spend the time and dedicate yourself to him. take on important conversations to learn new things about each other. let him feel comfortable with you and he'll learn to like the real you.\n\nbut you must honest and true to yourself. dont be the girl who broke the relationship up just to have the guy. that's pretty low. dont worry about what your ex will say. only you know you and only you know you like him!
914428
She's the ex,no matter what she says or wants he's with you now and that says it all,if you trust him this shouldn't be a problem. Don't let this break you up, you have made the effort to be friends with her too by asking to meet her so if I were you I would just let it drop. Good luck x
18079
ask his bestfriend or his girlfriend why do you need it he is your ex
553939
give some more time to your friendship with this new friend...i think if something has to happen between you two....it should be mutual...you need not do anything...trust destiny...n about ur school talking...it would happen for a while n fade away...also it would be better if you make it loud n clear to your ex dat its all over n he must leave alone
411998
That's really "iffy." You have no clue what's going on in their life right now and the reason could be anything! So try to be the best friend you can back. But don't be a door mat. This has to be balanced. If it's the worse possible case scenario and they were BSing the entire time and they really weren't your friend, then don't hng out with them anymore and look for other better people to be friends with. There are more fish in the sea than just this one person. What really matters in the end is how you handle things if you did stuff right. That makes you a much stronger person than said "friend."
678780
Honestly what do you expect?  I mean it is your BEST FRIEND'S EX.  Even if she says she's cool about, deep down inside she might not be.  Why don't you ASK her why she keeps bashing your man.  She could be jealous, or she could be telling the truth about how he really acts.  I have two friends who are MARRIED to my ex's, and I'm completely fine with it.  I never knock their hubbies or anything. Of course both of their hubbies are good guys, and I dumped them.