How do I overcome a non-committal boyfriend who I really love, nagging parents and a difficult boss?
411877
Wow...you have a lot of stress factors girl!  You need to dump some of the weight on your shoulders.  Start w/the boyfriend.  Actions speak louder than words.  Don't waste another minute of your time on him...life's too short & there are too many real men out there.  He sounds like a coward to me.  Don't let him bs you anymore...just move on.  \n\nStand up to your parents.  I'm sure they probably care about you & are just trying to help, but nagging does not = helping.  Let then know their opinion matters, but you have a lot of stress in your life & you need their support.\n\nAs far as your boss it depends on what makes him difficult.\n\nAnyway, I'd definetly clean house a little & get rid of some stress.  Life is too short.  Definetly need to get rid of the immature boyfriend.
837174
If you make it an "either-or" thing, you will lose...look at it from a larger perspective - try to find a solution where both work and family are a united, positive priority. He needs both to be a good man and a productive member of society. \n\nAgain, as long as you make you and work be complete opposites to him, you'll lose. \n\nHow wonderful to have a man that is focused on building his own business.  Is that business supporting you? Sorry to ask so bluntly, but if it is, you may want to thank him for working so hard for you. His working hard may be an expression of his desire to support you.\n\nMy suggestion is you ask him how you (and your kids if you have them) can be more supportive/involved in his work. If he feels safe sharing his visions and goals with you, this whole "it's the job or me" problem might go away. good luck.
623542
this is not something simple. i've been through something similar to what you are talking about and got stuck in a 5 years relation just because i was afraid of leaving. By time he might get more and more agressive and possesive. My advice is to leave now and not to postpone but you should also learn how to stand up to what you think is right and where your benifit is. you should not leave your job because he's there, ignore him and if he does not like it then let him leave the job not you.... My heart is with you take good care
1093587
I can tell you from experience it isn't easy.  However, I now have the advantage of being much older and am able to look back on the situation a bit more objectively.  First off, realize that this has nothing to do with you and their love for you.  This is a relationship problem between the two of them that you did not cause and you can do nothing about.  Next, continue to love your parents equally and do everything you can to make this as easy for them as possible.  Take time to talk to them and don't be afraid to let them know how you are feeling and ask them questions about what is going on if you need to.  Don't let this situation control your life, life will still go on and in a basic sense, nothing really is going to change all that much for you in the long run.
191277
well talk to them to find out why u r in trouble then pray that God gives you the ability to continue to respect your parents.they are there to help and protect you so please make it easier by listening and trying to understand what they are saying. it will come in handy when you strike out on your own.my mom & dad were the meanest parents in the world. and i thank them for it thier disipline & love is what made me the person my husband fell in love with. if i can be even half the person my mom is i will be lucky.
697783
I was in the same boat.  My advice is to keep them happy, and tell them how much you're trying to get that job, or work hard at uni.  They wont stop, but at least they dont have too much of a reason to pester you.  After all, they are your parents and they probably just miss you - try not to cut them out of your life.  A sit down and chat session is reccommended: i had to sit my parents down and explain to them that im a big boy now, and to trust me to keep myself out of trouble and work hard.  They said they understand, but felt that they still needed to be parents to the baby of the family.  Keep your cool with them, they're only doing it cos they love you.
541788
Ok I completly understand what both you and him are going through cause I have been there and done that, therefor my advice to you is if you really think and feel you love him try to understand his point even if you don't agree or like it very much. What it sounds like he is doing is avoiding having confrontations with his family and you. The less they know the less they will nag at him, they less they nag the better mood you will see him in. Think of it in a positive way he just wants to avoid problems between his family you and him, besides its also a healthier realationship for both of you, never know he may be thinking of taking the relationship a step higher and want to move in together in a few months and when he does he will drop the bom on them, just keep your eyes open at all times giving everyone and anything the benifit of a dought. Good Luck and take things easy enoy your time
249517
I think everyone struggles with this at one point or another with their parents.  I know I have.  The main thing is you need to make the decision for yourself.  Who is it that you are going to be growing old with....certainly not your parents.  It's difficult to cut those ties between being an adult and still being viewed as their child.\n\nThe "adult" thing to do, is tell your parents it is ultimately your final decision.  Tell your parents, respectfully, that you will find out through trial and error which man you will ultimately spend the rest of your life with, but in the end it is your decision, not theirs.  This does not mean you love them any less, but their support and love are needed in different ways at this point in your life.  On the other hand if they do view their opinion about something do not ignore it.  Place it in the back of your mind and think about it.  Sometimes a third party can see things that an individual may not see due to the emotions involved in a relationship.\n\nGood Luck!  I know I have let some good ones go because my father "didn't approve", through time and the wise words of my aunt, I have learned what I mentioned above.  In some ways having that "adult" conversation with my parents, they show me a higher level of respect then they did before.\n\nDon't spend your time "proving" anything to them, you will only make yourself tired.  Parents and loved ones will choose to see what they want.  Only you and your boyfriend know the whole dinamics of your relationship.  Just don't be "blinded" by any red flags.
551681
i'm 18 and my parents are STILL the ones controlling my life. i used to think the way you do. but now i'm slowly realizing that parents know best. they're only acting the way they do coz they love us and they want to protect us.  when i was 17, my parents found out that i had a boyfriend and they asked me to break up with him. although i didn't want to, i broke up with the guy and followed my parents' advice. i was sooo depressed. then one day, i heard news that my friend got pregnant. and then a month after that another friend of mine got pregnant and what's worse, she was left by her boyfriend. so i thought, it could have happened to me. (although i know that it could NEVER happen to me coz i think im responsible enough. hehe..) but you know how much we teeenagers fall in love. we're a crazy bunch..\n\nyour mom is not controlling you. she's just 'dominating' you in a way coz she wants the best for you. i suggest you show her that you're doing good in school, that you're obeying them, and that you're doing your resposibilities well to prove to them that you're a grown up now. the next time you two disagree, better discuss things between the two of you. and remember, be polite as possible whenever you're presenting some suggestions. she's your mom after all.\n\ntrust me, everything's gonna be fine. i'm just a teenager like you..who thinks i can do it on my own..but still goes back to "mommy!!!" when something's wrong. hehe.. :)
1043389
dont listen of all of them are u going to run to this man tell him marry me as my parents are forcing me to get married?haha hes going to be a man dont do that.during this time dont be in touch with this guy tell ur parents i wont get married now go off get a new job move to a new place then date man u love if not find a nice guy get married settle down marriage should be based on love and marriage shouldnt be for any other reason then two people themselves wanting to spend their life together not parents.
559775
hello first of all you need to stop dating these Babbie's "momma 's  boy" u did the right thing by kicking him out cause u need some one to lift u up not but u down a man suppose to carry 50%of the relationship and the 50%it left you don't take him back unless he show u that he can keep a job and keep for more than 6weeks and if he do so then he showing u that he is trying to be more responsible good luck.
891365
This sounds sooooooo familiar.  My parents did not like my boyfriend for a very long time, but the longer we were together, the more they realized how much we cared for each other.  Now we are engaged and my parents are ecstatic.  Just think to yourself....................who's in love with him, me or my parents? when your in love, you shouldn't care what other people think, but since its your parents, i know its hard.  Just follow your heart!!\n\nGood luck and God bless!
498439
You need to convince the other person that your relationship is the best thing for your girlfriend or boyfriend. making them believe both of you would never be happy with anyone Else. try to discredit the other person indirectly so someone else points out to your significant other how deceiving they are. Careful thought and being graceful, without showing any jealousy,is very important in your endeavor.\nIf you have any of the characteristics of the people in the list below, these issues need to be resolved first.\n    *   The person who says one thing but means the opposite.\n    * The man who acts passive but aggressively gets his own way by not doing what is wanted.\n    * The boss who squelches his anger then strikes out indirectly. (Perhaps by withdrawing.)\n    * The woman who says yes when she means no; then gets cold feet and refuses to follow through.\n    * The teenager who agrees up front then doesn't do what he agreed to.\n    * The client who schedules an appointment but does not show up.\n    * The person who fears self assertion and confrontation, but says no by sidestepping responsibility.\n    * Anyone in the family who creatively gets out of doing his or her part of the chores.\n    * The Mr. Nice Guy who puts on the sweet face to agree, then does what he darn well pleases.\n    * The student who procrastinates with studying and does poorly in school.\n    * The parent who refuses to discipline the children and insists on the spouse being the ‘heavy.'\n    * The bored housewife who refuses to clean the house or cook for her family.\n    * The person who refuses to hear criticism, discuss his problems or read books about the issue.\n    * The dad who pushes one child hard but allows the other child to get out of responsibility.\n    * The not ready to be committed man wanting someone there for him but feels entitled to his freedom.\n    * Any individual who spends his effort into under achieving in school, in relationships and in life! \n\nRelationships require good maintenance. Just Do your best, if thats not good enough, maybe it's time to move on.\n\nGood luck
69100
My parents wrote me a letter once where they told me how much they loved me had planned for me and how much they pray for me, I also went on a retreat. They told me they were proud of my achievements and that I deserved evrything the world has to offer. As far as being assertive its going to be very difficult b/c he is still a teenager and at that age you want to belong to something, but keep talking to him, tell him not to be afraid to stand his ground on what he believes is right.
739927
Why is he so strongly against it?  This is your life.  I have always thought that the girls who followed their boyfriends to a different college were dumb because chances of that relationship to last are very very slim.  But then there are the ones that do work out.  You have to figure out if this is really the guy you love because if you are willing to change your life and ambitions for this guy then you have to be willing to die for him and care for him no matter what.  You should have a conversation about why he is so against it, no yelling/stay calm.  You need to tell him that you love him but you have always wanted to do this and he should be supportive.  If there is a really good reason why you shouldn't work there and you love him then you should listen otherwise you should take the job and he might leave you for a bit but come back because he misses you
57978
OK, hon. First of all, you don't need to prove your love to him. No matter what anybody says. No matter who you date, they will never be good enough for mommy and daddy. (Unless they pick the person) Second, don't focus so much on love. Give it time. I don't know how old you are, and personally I don't consider it an issue. If you focus on love, you will be heartbroken if things don't work out. I'm not saying set your standards low. I am not saying don't love this person. What I am saying is spend time with him. Enjoy the relationship. Don't get married young. And for gods sake don't get married without first living with the person. People seem VERY different when you have to share space with them. Trust me about that one. Don't rush. True love doesn't need a wedding band. If you love someone, being with that person should be enough. Sex is nice, but even that isn't necessary. The company of your significant other is all that is necessary. If you two love each other than that is all that matters. Marriage and sex are over rated. (Sex is nice, but still over rated) If you love him then your parents will eventually come to the realization that he is sticking around. They will either come to accept it, or they will disown you. I know this. I have been married. I was only 19. I told my parents the day before. At first they accused me of being crazy. They made some pretty insulting comments, and I told them to go fuck themselves. They learned to accept my wife and even grew to like her. You are your own person. Heres a motto that my stepfather taught me. "If you don't fuck me, feed me, or pay my bills......Go fuck yourself!" Your family is an important part of your life, but you didn't choose them. You were born with them. You couldn't change who they were. Your boyfriend is somebody that you chose to bring into your life. Your parents should respect your decisions. And if they think you are a fool for being with him...... remind them of who taught you. What examples did you have to follow. They are the 2 biggest influences in your life. Whether you know it or not. Everything that you have witnessed from them as a child has molded you to be the person that you are today. Everything from not enough hugs to the overprotectiveness. They have made you who you are. If they are unhappy with that, then they should try to do a better job next time.
277823
Just listen open mindedly, and remind him that you will live your own life.  You may need his emotional support, but you are bound to make your own mistakes.  Parents are always overbearing when it comes to letting their children fly, so try to understand that what he does comes from a good place, and that he loves you.  He only wants the best for you, but in life, you must know the difference between him being a parent, and him speaking from experience.  When you can learn to differentiate between the two, you will become a better person for it.