How do you get over being severly hurt in a relationship and being able to forgive and move on?
406058
A addict will chose drugs over sex any day. It is really sad, but true. All you can do for somebody that is addicted is not enable them, and be codependent to them. That is usually what is going on, and they are just taking advantage of you to use the drugs.
721137
time is the only thing that can heal u,i spent 12 years with a person and then i was forced to divorce the person i loved the most ,it hurt for 2 1/2 yearsand i have rarely dated or been with another person but just a few times in 16 years,,, im over it but the scars run deep. but some people get over it in fifteen minutes
788470
Tippy, the only way you are going to be able to deal with this is to forget it.  When you start remembering, stop.  Imagine something brings a smile to your face.  It's not wrong to stay with a man that you love, even if he's cheated.  But honey, it's your mental health that is taking the punishment.  You are going to have to forgive and forget to make it.  It's not easy and it's not going to happen over night.  I am sorry, your heart breaking is got to stop before it completly breaks.  \n\nDoes your husband help you?  What I mean has he ask for forgiveness?  Does he show you emotional support?  Honey, you need for him to help you with this.  Believe it or not, you need him to help heal from this wound.  He needs to be more loving, and shows that he cares that he hurt you.  If he's just blowing it off, like it happen-get over it-then you may never be able to fully forgive him and stop the tears.  He's the kleenex, he's the one that needs to wipe them away with his love.  \n\nHoney, you must remove the images, clean out all the thoughts of them together.  You are grieving in a sense, you have been betrayed, and it's like part of you has died.  It hurts, and it's so hard, but it can be done.  If you want to save your marriage, you are going to have too!  Your husband may have be so wrong, but now it's your turn to make sure you don't make it worse.  If you feel the tears coming on-focus on something else. Anything, but that.  When you start, or catch yourself thinking remember this...it's in the past and today's a new day, each day it will get less and less.  Your husband has got to do his part sweetie.  You can't make a marriage by yourself,  No matter how much you love him, unless you are going to be a silent wife, and just let him do what he wants when he wants.  You deserve so much more than that.  You deserve to be loved and respected, it's your choice your decision rather to forgive, and if this is what you want to do, you must not dwell on it any longer.  Kick yourself in the butt, if you have too.  I am so very sorry, no one should have their heart broken like this, but you aren't alone, and many marriages have become stronger from living thru what you are going through right now.  So, please dry those tears, take a deep breath, and remember it's all your choice how you deal with it.\nPraying that your heart mends, and the memories are forgotten, and that you have the strength to know you are worth true love and respect from the one you GAVE your heart to.  \n\nGod bless us all............
65492
Simply apologize.  Let him/her know why you are sorry.  Anyone can be sorry and not know exactly why they are.  It has to be sincere.  You have to allow them to let you know how you made them feel and not be defensive.  Own up to the mistake you made.  They will see that you really mean what you say.  If the person values your relationship...they'll look at the circumstances and may be willing to make peace with you.  This does not guarantee that your relationship will be the same.  If it does not return to the same relationship; know that you did everything you possibly could to resolve the matter.  Respect their decision.
1013435
Time will ease your pain, it isn't something you can't change over night, it took me 3 years to finally forget about a past love. We shared a lot of things and to get over home it is hard, I was married for two of the three years it took me to forget about him, it is part of the normal healing process. But remember, nothing is gonna change your situation. Life doesn't stop and wait for you to live it it keeps on going, so you are only missing out. The best remedy is to keep on living. It was better to have loved and lost then to have never loved at all.
760251
I am very sad that you are hurting so much. Some wounds are very deep and take a long time to heal. You deserve to be loved and cared for! I can't even imagine how much it must hurt to have someone you care about so much do that to you. I don't know if you believe in God, but I do and I believe that he can heal us. I believe that forgiveness is the key to overcoming your hurt. I know it is extremely difficult, but if you can try to push angry feelings away and forgive him for what he has done, you will feel better. I do not believe that finding someone else is the right solution. It is a way to cover or bury your pain, but not heal it. Pray for strength, don't be ashamed to cry, and turn to good friends for support. I will keep you in my prayers as well.
193640
If you really mean it.. let your emotion go in a personal one on one conversation and cry. \n\nAllow your heart to let your eyes weep and feel the remorse in your soul so you will never make that mistake again by remembering the pain it brought you and the person you are sorry to.
375844
lalapetal, I would sugest that you talk to someone about this. Is there somekind of counselor you can seek? Some kind of suport groups in your area? I once told that I need to let it go and give it to god. But sometimes it stays with us and find it hard to accept things and forgive others. If you dont want to seek help then please seek a forum that can suport you.. google for some abuse forum, there are some good ones out there. You need to def talk to someone about this so you can begin to heal... this is the first step...
974954
To put yourself first and stop worry about the person that hurt you.  The only person that you have worry about is your feelings and making yourself whole again.  Everyone in life makes choices and you have to deal with them and realize that you can move on and be happy on your own.   And like momma always says LIFE is not fair. \n\nIt also take alot of time so don't think the pain will go away just stay focused on YOU! \nI wish you better days!
1093833
We hurt others when we fail to forgive and we hurt ourselves when we refuse to forgive. It's like I've always said; it's not what we eat that gives us ulcers, it's what eating us that gives us ulcers! I say that if you cannot see over this it will eat away at you until it develops into something more. I mean if we insist on being hurt, we forfeit all the things that would make this relationship worthwhile. The hurt will turn to bitterness, then resentment and no peace for yourself, eventually a broken relationship. You will become your own slave to what's eating you. Please think about what I've said and then consider the seriousness of harboring the hurt you are feeling right now. It might ease the pain that your going through and eventually you will see the rainbow as time is a wonderful thing and it always works things out.
189016
You sound like your having break-up remorse. First of all could you forgive him for what he did if he did do it? Lets just say he did, do you love him enoughf to let it go? You have to have relationships with trust, trust is the most important part in a relationship. If there is no trust, there is no relationship. Also remember that there are alot of potential people out there. Everytime I broke up with a girl I dreaded it and wanted her back, then when I took her back, I really wish I didn't because all I thought about was why I broke up with her in the first place.
278513
I believe there are positive lessons to be learned from the most heartbreaking situations, I have been there, trust me.  its not easy but you have to look at it as a learning experience, and instead of focusing on the heartbreak, focus on how much stronger you are now, for having gone thru it.  tkae what you learned from the experience close that chapter of your life and allow yourself to move on.  Take things slowly in your new relationship, allow things to unfold in a way  that is comfortable for both of you and see where it leads.  over time memories of the past will fade and wounds heal allowing you to open your heart again.  Its a painful process at times but so well worth it in the end. hope this helps!
462547
the greatest revenge is success. do some special things for you, perm your hair, buy new cloths, and listen to music you never herd before, then go out and flurt. Tell the girl you will forgive but never forget, and that chis dick was small so you were going to dump him any way. Then move on, and forget them. It hurts, happened to me, and I am still not over it, but I moved on. you have to wait until some else comes along to take your mind off it completely.
919105
Get some counseling domestic violence leaves scars that will and can heal. Get busy doing something, not spending your time dwelling on the past relationship. God bless*********************
41703
I wish I could say "forgive" and forget. But "once a cheater-always a cheater." Actually, if you will listen to the wisdom that is inside of you, you already know what to do . . . \n\nThe reality is that being able to cheat is a huge character flaw. It means that person does not respect you or themselves. Plus, that person is able to lie and not feel guilty enough about it to break and tell the truth. I am no kid ~~ and if you are young, please learn from those of us who have been around the block and few times ~~ respect yourself and without a lot of drama -- tell the guy goodbye.  \n\nAre there ever cheaters who change? Yes, but you will find that those who have usually had a deep life-changing religious experience. Those who are "sorry" and say "they will never do it again" without a deep internal overhaul, are the ones who cheat again. \n\nI have experienced it all. I have been cheated on, I have been hurt until I didn't think I could hurt any more, I have forgiven, and I have been hurt right back again. This is not a vindictive response. This is a word from one older sister to a younger one -- stay away from the cheaters. They will only break you heart.
1015084
It is difficult I know.  Been there and done that and its not much fun.  You just have to be patient.  Find someone else to share some time with. Someone out there is worthy of your love and efforts.  Time heals all wounds and this is going to take some time.  In the meantime while your wounds are healing, find a hobby, join a gym, or take a evening class, anything to get you out of your blues.  Mingle with others and find someone else that you like and before long it will be easier for you to think about her and not be upset.  It wont be easy, but you will be ok and you will be a stronger person in the long run from all of this.  Yes a closure would be a nice thing to have but some people dont like confrontations or goodbyes.  Dont beat yourself up over it.  Learn from it and consider it a chapter in your life and start working on a new chapter.  Good Luck!!  And yes, this is normal feelings when you get dumped or something doesnt seem to have ended as it is "suppose to".  Lots of unanswered questions still in your head, rehashing over and over.  Best thing to do is go on with your life and cherish the memories you had and concentrate on making new ones.  Old saying is "when one door closes, another one opens".  Dont be so into your sadness that you miss an opportunity.
235208
you need to decide whether youre going to live with what he did or not. if you cant forgive him then you cant move on. So you have to make a choice and decide what is best for you. If you love him and see your future with him then try to fix it, go to counseling but if his mistake erased your visions of a future with him, then you know what you need to do. But I must also say that you cant rush getting over things either and he should be willing to understand and agree with what you choose to do.