My husband of 4 years cheated on me with a girl that just turned 18 and got her pregnant what do I do?
403471
Leave him.\n\nChances are, it wasn't his first time, nor is it likely to be his last, especially if you let him "get away" with it.\n\nIf you think there might be a way to salvage your marriage, and possibly might be able to forgive him and forget it, and not let it come into your mind for the rest of your lives, you might try to work it out.
788470
Tippy, the only way you are going to be able to deal with this is to forget it.  When you start remembering, stop.  Imagine something brings a smile to your face.  It's not wrong to stay with a man that you love, even if he's cheated.  But honey, it's your mental health that is taking the punishment.  You are going to have to forgive and forget to make it.  It's not easy and it's not going to happen over night.  I am sorry, your heart breaking is got to stop before it completly breaks.  \n\nDoes your husband help you?  What I mean has he ask for forgiveness?  Does he show you emotional support?  Honey, you need for him to help you with this.  Believe it or not, you need him to help heal from this wound.  He needs to be more loving, and shows that he cares that he hurt you.  If he's just blowing it off, like it happen-get over it-then you may never be able to fully forgive him and stop the tears.  He's the kleenex, he's the one that needs to wipe them away with his love.  \n\nHoney, you must remove the images, clean out all the thoughts of them together.  You are grieving in a sense, you have been betrayed, and it's like part of you has died.  It hurts, and it's so hard, but it can be done.  If you want to save your marriage, you are going to have too!  Your husband may have be so wrong, but now it's your turn to make sure you don't make it worse.  If you feel the tears coming on-focus on something else. Anything, but that.  When you start, or catch yourself thinking remember this...it's in the past and today's a new day, each day it will get less and less.  Your husband has got to do his part sweetie.  You can't make a marriage by yourself,  No matter how much you love him, unless you are going to be a silent wife, and just let him do what he wants when he wants.  You deserve so much more than that.  You deserve to be loved and respected, it's your choice your decision rather to forgive, and if this is what you want to do, you must not dwell on it any longer.  Kick yourself in the butt, if you have too.  I am so very sorry, no one should have their heart broken like this, but you aren't alone, and many marriages have become stronger from living thru what you are going through right now.  So, please dry those tears, take a deep breath, and remember it's all your choice how you deal with it.\nPraying that your heart mends, and the memories are forgotten, and that you have the strength to know you are worth true love and respect from the one you GAVE your heart to.  \n\nGod bless us all............
679033
I GUARANTEE that you did the right thing.  I have been there, done that.  If he really loved you, he would not have treated you that way.  Who is more important to you, him or your baby girl?  Do you want your baby girl raised in that type of environment?  Your daughter is your life at this moment.  She comes before ANYBODY, even yourself.  If you love your daughter, think of what is best for her and you will know in your heart that you did do the right thing.  I strongly commend you for getting out of the hell you AND your daughter were in.  NO MAN IS WORTH THE VERBAL, PHYSICAL AND MENTAL ABUSE.
178032
Talk to your parents and get your girlfriend to the doctor.  If she is pregnant the two of you should seriously consider adoption.  There are plenty of mature adults out there who would love the gift of a child.\n\nI'm sorry that you are young and having to deal with this, but OMG please think twice before you do something so stupid again.  If you are old enough to have sex then you should be old enough to deal with the consequences...and the frightening reality is if your girlfriend isn't pregnant a few weeks from now when the shock of this has worn off you'll be back in your car doing it again like rabbits.  Learn from this experience!
175102
This should be left alone by you. Sorry but your father and the women he is cheating on is old enough to know better. Also what good would it do to confront him? He should be decent enough not to do it in front of you...K
500705
Baby girl, I'm sorry for the evil responses you have gotten from a few people. I am a former soldier and a woman, and I have seen this TOO many times to count. Men are just sick, sad pieces of $hit sometimes.\n\nYou need to put your daughter on medicaid like yesterday. Ok? Don't wait another day. It's not your fault that he lied to you. His lies are not your burden to bear. Second, go to his chain of command and tell his commander this story. You will get a nice hunk of his retirement check until that baby girl turns 18...(or 21 if she decides to go to college). You need to grow some ovaries and quit protecting this loser. Take care of your daughter and do what you have to do. He will likely be forced to retire due to his TIS, and he is likely aware of this. You need to do this now. Get your money and stop pussyfooting about it. The Army will make this loser pay an allottment out of his check. Trust and beleive that. Don't desire to be with a man of this caliber. If he lied to you about being married, why do you want him??? How can you find happiness in such and one???\nGood Luck.
284723
Dear girl, Oh my... I wish you had asked for advice 2 years ago; perhaps much of your pain could have been avoided.\n\nYou say you two have NOT been in a committed relationship for over 2 years and you are still with him. WHY are you still in this relationship? He's NOT committed to you and hasn't been for 2 years! Is he sleeping with other women? Are you sleeping w/ other men? Have you even thought about the risk of HIV and AIDS? You two have a child now. And my dear, why did you get pregnant with a man who hasn't been committed to you? You should never have sex with any man who is not committed to you. He gets sex, you get hurt. It happens every time. Unfortunately, you are not the  only one getting hurt; you have made a baby and brought your child into this situation. \n\nDo you two still live together because you have a child, or because it's easier than moving out? Let me ask you, does he support you and your child financially? Are you you paying any of the bills? Are you paying bills for your baby? If your baby's father is not supporting you 100% emotionally AND financially, then you are better off leaving for good, once and for all. I am sorry to say this, but it sounds to me like he may be using this "money issue" as an excuse and he doesn't have the guts to get out of the relationship. Some men can't handle being fathers, especially if they are not in love with the baby's mother. Having a baby brings a couple in love even closer, but couples who are not in love do not get closer after the baby is born.\n\nI wish I could tell you otherwise, but I definitlely think it's time for you both to be grownups. Living the way you both are is not the adult, responsible way to solve this problem. Make an agreement regarding the child's support and visitation and part company amicably. Many women with small children meet other men who do love them and will be committed to them and their child/children. My father met my mother when she was a yound divorcee with a 2 year old and married her and proceeded to have 2 more children with her. They were married 53 years until he passed. There is hope for you to do the same.\n\nIf you are not good with $$$, then take some money management classes (@ a local school, community college, aid center). You will need these skills whether you are on your own or not. \n\nIf you were not honest regarding $$$ with your partner, then I suggest you get to church, temple, etc., and you start being honest with God and yourself. Remember, you have a child you need to be teaching good values to now. If you were honest, then you're okay there, but going to a place to have a relationship with God will still be powerful for you at this time. \n\nYou CAN start a new and better life. Don't give up on yourself, no matter how hard it may be at times!
350985
So Im assuming the baby is this other guys? If so, I would look at the situation. Is this guy going to be a father to this child? And can you accept that she cheated on you in the first place? If you know that hes not going to be around as a father and you are love her and are going to be with her long term, why not stay with her and raise this baby. But if you cant get over her cheating on you and she is wanting to be with this other guy, you should get out while you can. Its only going to get ugly.
80729
The question is, how much you love her? What are you willing to do for her love?\n\nAnd the other thing that you should know, how much she loves you? What is the state of your marriage and relationship overall with her?\n\nLets take a logical approach.\n\nIf this cheating was done by you, and say your act had gotten someone else pregnant, what will she do, and how will you feel about it?\n\nThe fact that she is pregnant now has nothing to do with the act of cheating. If it was an inadvertant instant that led one thing to another or was it something that she wanted to do all along and then the result is loss of trust between the two of you.\n\nIs she likely to break the trust again, provided the same circumstance or will she remember not to hurt your feelings?\n\nLove does not chain you to something, it is just the fear of loosing someone or something that you cherish. You do not want to do anything that will rock the relationship between you and the person you love.\n\nAbortion or no abortion, that does not seem to be the solution. \n\nIt is all in you two, you will have to see how you want the family to progress in future. What are the priorities and what will be the understandings. You have to learn to respect each other more and share the responsibilities too.
71345
Your question is a litte incomplete, because you don't say what it is that you can't get over, but..\n\nCheating on someone as "payback" never works, and will always backfire on you.  Your husband wasn't right to cheat on you, but that doesn't make your cheating right.\n\nBeing married and a mother at 17 is difficult enough without getting into more trouble, getting divorced, etc.  If you can find family counseling in your area, it might not be a bad idea for you and your husband to see a professional, and sort out your problems that way.\n\nWishing you the best of luck!
78730
Being a guy myself like cartes above me I would beat the crap out of the guy but I don't know what he's thinking you should never hurt your child no matter what they are doing. I would call the cops on the guy before she turns 18 and it's out of your hands but if you don't she will learn I'm a guy and I know how guys are. He's into drugs, alcohol, and he's divorced I wouldn't be surprised if he's cheating on your daughter eventually she'll find out and realize how stupid she was but that can be after he gets her into drugs, alcohol, and pregnant I would call the cops or get some one to kick his butt I live in new hampshire and I also have a place in los angeles if you want my help kicking his a**
18658
Wow tough crowd sweetie!  Don't judge the man, what's done is done.  And he never said he was going back to his wife, he just said he wanted to dump the affair.  Well it takes one to know one (I'm in the same boat dear but on the other side) and you need to sit down and talk with the girl you are having an affair with.  If you explain to her that you care about her and love what you had, but can't go on like you are.  Be honest with her...hopefully she will be mature enough.\n\nAnd by the way, the next time you ever plan to have an affair, have it with another married person. This way the playing field is equal.  You obviously have never been to my website or blog and read the rules of smart cheating (see below)
1115998
She's no "good friend".  That sounds like a Lifetime Television for Women movie.  You know, as a mother I want to say I'd kick her @ss.  But really, at this point there isn't anything you can do but sever your friendship with her.  He's 20 now, and the statue of limitation for rape ends at age 18 in most states (though you might want to research this for your state).  Your son, if he's the "mature type" could have very well seduced her.  But as I said, he's 20 now and there's nothing you can legally do.  I know you are hurt, angry and betrayed, I would be too.  And I'm so sorry for you.  Hopefully you and your son can discuss this and find out why/how it started.  But I would definately approch the woman and ask her why?  How would she feel if a man her age had an affair with her 16 or 17 year old daughter?  She'd have him in jail so quickly.  Remind her of that.  \n\nJesus, lady.  My heart goes out to you, really.  If you ever want to chat more, send me a message and we can exchange email address.  Good luck.
146168
Leave him & sue him for child support. \n\nYou have to think of your son now, who needs a REAL man for a dad.  Don't put your child through this, and in the future, RESPECT other people's marriage vows, whether they do or not!\n\nI don't mean to be harsh, but you have to know that you've gotten yourself into a mess by now.  Does he have children with his wife???
1153968
I think the first thing you need to do is get rid of this man.  If that is the kind of life he wants to live, let him live it without you.  I know it's easy for me to sit here and say that, but do you really deserve a man who is going out and getting someone else pregnant?  I understand your concern for the innocent baby, but if there really is a problem in the home contact DCFS and let them deal with it.   Do yourself a favor and put some serious thought into just why you are fighting so hard to stay with this man.  You deserve better, no woman deserves to be treated like this.
382099
She needs to know what's going on.  If he's doing this, it's not going to stop there.  What he's doing is cheating, and it will eventually escalate to full blown adultery.  If they want a chance to fix this, and repair their marriage, they need to start now.  The child's parents should know what she's doing as well.
243001
forget it all together - you don't need the headaches. If he cheated and she cheated most likely they will cheat again. Unless you want to live a soap opera - move on to a different crowd of people.