When I cut one it sounds like I crapped my pants. It has a little watery sound to it too.?
375736
Uh, thanks for sharing that with us. Now go change your britches.
59312
happens to me sometimes. just splash some water in them and you should be feeling better
1113552
Mine makes the same noises as Bill's did.  Your parents must not have loved you and gave you the cheap shi**y one that didn't make a peep.
222168
It sounds like acid reflux you should go to a doctor.
113530
If you are concerned give your doctor a call. But a wet spot that small probably is not your water breaking. It feels like you are peeing on yourself when your water breaks. It probably  was just a discharge. Give your Ob/GYN a call and they will be able to tell you better than we can.
914854
Sounds like a fissure.  It happens.  Just a tiny tear in your rectal area.  Keep an eye on things.  Keep the area very clean ( use wet wipes).  Go #2 when you first get the feeling.  Dont constipate yourself.  If it continues more than a couple of days, see a doctor.
745577
I noticed that a load of clothes had been in the dryer for two cycles and was still wet.  I figured something must be clogged up.  So I went outside to check the dryer vent---sure enough it was plugged up with lint.  The dryer vent is about at eye level, so I walked up to it and began cleaning the big globs of lint out of it.  I finally yanked one big piece free and all the loose lint that had been building up in the pipes was suddenly blown out the dryer vent right into my face.\n\n When the last big block finally broke free I had this split second vision of a fog of lint headed towards my face.  I opened my mouth to say "Oh s h i t"---that's when I got the mouthful of lint.\n\nI spent the next 20 minutes getting lint out of my eyes, nose, mouth and ears. \n\nI never claimed to be overly bright.
614247
It sounds like a ganglion cyst.  Check out this site and see if this is what it looks like.  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ganglion_cyst
957743
Sounds like it could be a boil forming.
765469
Try to avoid making a splash. My advise is to put a couple of squares of toilet paper down the pan before releasing your turd. This way when the turd lands, the paper will cushion the blow and you will avoid any embaressing splash noises and the much dreaded "splash-back"
611864
What you are feeling is your gastrointestinal tract moving.\n\nYour GI tract does what is called parstolic movement.  this is how the digested food moves along to the exit...\n\nWhen your Gi tract is very active you will hear your belly rumble gurgle and many other weird sounds like you had an alien baby in there...\nBUT don't worry that is normal to hear your belly rumble, it would not be normal to have no sound at all.\nThat would mean things have stopped moving and BOY WOULD YOU KNOW IT !!!  You would not be able to go #2 and that would really make you cranky...
1089159
see adoc it also sounds like there clogging
1096310
Yeah, that happens to me.  I usually just wipe as much as I can get, then wear a panti liner.  Not a big deal. It doesn't mean it's leaking or anything like that.
804403
Hi Matthew!\n\nYou emailed me before, and I was just about to respond to your email (I never took it out of my in-box!  I didn't forget you!), but I just logged on to Yahoo! Answers (after a few months of being away) and saw your question here! So, I thought I would answer it here so others could see it too!\n\nYes, it hurts / "burns" a little, but it is so quick, it's like ripping off a band-aid.  AND YOU WILL FEEL SO MUCH BETTER AFTER THEY ARE OUT, that you will forget the pain within a minute.  \n\nMy drains were about 5 to 6 inches long....they were plastic....and they kinda looked like a plastic straw with a little "fanned shape" thing on the end.  I think there were holes both on the straw part and the fan part.  What makes them so uncomfortable is the fact that you basically have an inflexible piece of plastic sticking across your abs!\n\nDo not worry about the drains being removed....it is quick.  Good luck with your surgery....I hope your experience is as good as mine was!!!
925490
Sounds like you might have a urinary tract infection, can be cleared up with antibiotics. Go to your doctor ASAP to get checked out.
137809
Use a sh*t (caca) cataplasm.  I know it sounds gross but, hey it works!
907221
I don't know if you've been using the antidiarrheal for all 3 days but sometimes it's better to let these things run their course and allow your body to rid itself of whatever the irritation is.  If you prefer to use an antidiarrheal, I hope it's loperamide (Imodium).  The noises you hear are likely borborygmos.  It's coming from your intestines, not your stomach.  It's the sound of hyperperistalsis.  Continue with the fluids, and use the BRAT diet - Bread, Rice, Applesauce and Tea.  Advance your diet to regular foods when your stools have become semisolid or more formed for 24 hours.  If your stools continue to be watery for another 2 days see your doctor.