How do you co-parent with an uncoorportive ex?
372382
Patience is the key! Don't allow him to get to you, that's what he wants to do and bring you down to his level. Congrats on moving on with your life....atta girl!
883001
The first and only thing you need to worry about is getting your life back on track...lose the friend that you think is two faced...and call and write to your daughter as often as possible...My ex husband has my son so I know where you are coming from.  I don't know what your ex. is getting at by saying you would have a "ruined" daughter on your hands but sounds to me like HE is the ruined one and he has failed to provide her with the love and attention that she needs to grow and feel emotionally confident.  Get your self financially stable in your own home and all that jazz...then after a couple of years of calling and writing and visiting as often as you can maybe you and your daughter will begin to rebuild your relationship and find the love that has been forgotten through the divorce...In other words your child needs to know that she is loved!  So you need to SHOW that you love her!
177622
The game playing has to STOP!! The two of you need to sit down together and talk without yelling just talk about everything and then try and decide what is the best for the both of you! It a serious matter you have a child involved and need to figure it out but please don't get back together just because you have a daughter because if you and your ex wife aren't happy its going to cause alot of problems and its going to be a real bad environment for everyone! My closet friend is going through this right now I have so many friends that are in the same situation, You have to remember that you as a person deserves to be happy! You and your ex need to work it out so you can see your daughter more no matter what happens because she is the most important person RIGHT NOW!!! You can always try counseling maybe you and your ex could go work together not against each other! GOOD LUCK i hope that i helped
97240
it depends on the state but where i live you have to turn the child over until the courts say that you don't have too. Make sure you write every encounter (seeing the other parent, phone calls etc.) down and keep track of how the kid is and take pictures
1134864
Some tips that have work for me:\n\nAgree on joint custody of the kids. That way, you both can decide over the children'f future together and both of you can be involved making importatnt decisions in your kids lives.\n\nBe generous on visitation. That way the kids can have a fair share of both parents.\n\nHave an agreement with your soon-to -be ex about NOT badmouthing the other when not present, That hurts the kids. Make that solemn promise that you will not talk bad about the other one during visitation.\n\nHave a conversation with the kids, Explain what is about to happen and how much you love them and how daddy an mommy still care about each other. \n\nWhen visitation comes, try to make the transition an easy as posssible. This NO time for arguments or sour faces.\n\nRemain in friendly terms.\n\nAlways allow your ex to talk on the phone with the kids. ALWAYS.\n\nSend father day/birthday cards sign by the kids.\n\n\nCIVIL is never using the kids to get back at one another. Good for you that you are willling to do this.
871889
yup..\nmy ex and I had shared custody. two weeks with each parent. we lived in the same city. no child support.
353627
you have 6 month from the time your divorce was filed here in ca.  If I were you, I would consult a Lawyer.  He has no business being a father.  He sounds very unfit.  Sounds like you have very good grounds.  First though what I would recommend is documenting. for example, I keep all emails I send to my ex that way if need being I have the written proof for the court.  basically say to him, that he was scheduled to pick so and so up, but you got a call from the school saying no-one pick her up.  something along those lines.  without documentation, you won't have a chance.
1020668
I agree with you.  When a parent doesn't use their right to visitation, then suddenly wants it all, that has got to do damage to a child.  The system is so overloaded that they can't do a case by case review and then limit visitation for an elusive parent.\n\nIf you can, try to talk to your ex and explain what your child's fears are.  See if before he takes him for 6 weeks, he will visit him as much as possible.
186901
Make him feel he is important in your life, after your child ofcourse.  Support what he likes and does. Tell him about all that happens with you and your ex, thats if you guys still see eachother because of your child.  Most importantly, make love to him, and tell him you love him, thats if you really do.
490812
You probably need to be speaking to your lawyer about this. He can guide you in your options and how best you can help your child. You child shouldn't be used as a meal ticket by your ex. That's just wrong.
1071850
Separations are never easy (as I very well know)...Give yourself and your child time!!\n\nTalk to your child, and let your child know he/she is loved by 'both' of you.. and if need be, reassure him/her that it is not his/her fault you broke up!! (as some may think/ feel this way).\n\nYou have left your partner for I have no doubt good reason: but he/she has in their eyes lost a daddy, and is going through a grieving process of their own, which takes time to come to grips with.  \n\nHopefully daddy will still be around, and be able and willing to play a part in his child's life ... and if like my ex-partner and myself, maybe you two will be able to put the past behind and become 'friends' for real, or for the sake of your child in time, and then he/she will have the best of both worlds!!\n\nIts a difficult one, and my heart goes out to you.
713486
Excellent question.  It is hard for him to let someone else take an active role in his kids lives,  that's just how it is so tread carefully. You really have to be a selfless woman (and if you have a brother who is single and just like you, send him my way please !) You have to think about how you see yourself in the future. Do you want kids of your own? If so, stick with him, you all will be fine, but your relationship needs to be built on solid things like marriage in the future, you definitely being a mom to those little darlings and wether or not you have both really found yourselves. I wish you the best but the worst thing you can do to a single parent is lead them on. I think that if you broke it off like, NOW, he would still understand. Oh  and dealing with the mama drama is only what you make it, if you show respect you'll get a degree of respect and it wont just be from her but him also.\nTread carefully.
708383
are you aware that not everyone has baby momma/daddy drama in their lives just because the parents aren't together.  are you secure with yourself?  if not then don't date someone with children. it's ok and don't worry about it, lots of people fee lthat way.  some people just don't like kids. but if you do decide to date some one with childen, then you have no choice but to deal with it.  that parent gets visitation with his/her kid/s and it's not about the mother/father or you.  they're divorced for a reasnon.  would you rather the parents didn't get along and the child to suffer for your insecurities? and what about the child that may not care for you, thinking you're trying to replace the natural parent? the relationship between child and parent is important, none of anyone business (unless it's abusive) and not about you.  lot at is as a positive, the parent is able to visit the kind at the kids home with maturity and knowledge that the kids mother has moved on.
920077
use a common friend to get to your ex-wife. i think it's very noble of you to try to work things out among yourselves. if your ex-wife still refuse to accept the fact that you're actually doing her a favor by resorting to peacefull means, then you have no choice but to do whatever would be necessary for the sake of your child. you need not feel guilty then if the court decides in your favor because you have tried your best to warn her.
1043451
WOW~ greygoose martini hit the nail on the head.  I have always said the same thing!  Choose the mother or father of your children wisely so that you won't have to deal with any of this.\n\nMy view of this whole issue is that most people try to hurt the other through their children.  I hope that you aren't one of those people who just try to make your ex's life miserable. My sister is going through some stuff and her ex is a big jerk who says he is going to make her life a living hell until their child is 18.   He is just mad because she finally got the nerve to leave him after years of mental abuse.  Even the mediator said they won't have anything else to do with him because he is so meanspirited.\nHe says he is looking out for the best interest of his child but then he can't control himself not to call my sister names and say bad things about her to his child. \n He says he is going to quit his job so that she doesn't have any way of getting the support.  He would cut off his nose despite his face...what a loser.
976514
your kids will see in time what an idiot their father is being. dont curse him infront of the kids, rant to a friend, dont give your ex the attention he's craving by bringing up this matter, ignore it and be strong for your children. your new partner will have his own feelings about this matter, if he wishes to talk about it then get it out in the open, but avoid talking about this with the kids.
1169853
Talk to him about it when the kids are not there.   Just tell him your miserable and you have filed for a divorce.  If you haven't really had a relationship with him the last few years, it might be a blessing to him too.  Just try to be as civil as possible for the kids.  Try not to fight in front of them...but don't give them false hopes either.  Good luck, you're going to need it ,I'm afraid.