I'm traped in a loveless marriage....do I stay for the kids or do I get out?
374881
Once you accept the huge responsibility of having children, what you or your husband wants comes second.
548856
For the sake of your children and keeping your marriage, I would see someone.  This is deep seeded and if you don't seek counseling I'm afraid more "stuff" will push you into that black hole you won't be able to crawl out of and cause you to do something your family will suffer for later.  Go seek counseling BECAUSE you love your family.  I'm sure your husband will support you if he is a good man.  Best wishes to you.
328979
For your sake and that of your children, move on. He obviously likes having the two relationships and that is not likely to change. The sooner you leave the sooner you and your children will heal. With all the lies this man has spun its amazing either of you are still with him. He has proven he has no intention of leaving. Don't waste more time on a relationship with no future. Find yourself a respectable man and live a happier life.
1126901
You say you wee never loved in your life. den you say you got married to a "very loving and caring man"  but couldnt love him? why on earth is that so? u had an unhappy childhood so you kno what it feels like. now tell me. do you want the same for your kids n your lovers too? No point ruining his family even if he himself thinks he is in love with you. talk to your husband bout ur problem of not feling hapy in the marriege. i am sure he'd help. you can aslo go to a counslour. in fact you must. not because you are crazy but because like many others you to are confused bout wat u want in ur life. it seems to me der's love all around u but u dont feel it coz of a hard protective shell dats grown around u to block out da hurt u suffered from. break dat shell.\ni know it's not easy but if u just decied to try n work out ur life once den it's half the batle won. you owe it to ur husband n family dear.\nall the best n do keep in touch.
651015
IM BISEXUAL AND LOVE A MARRIED MAN. STRANGE RIGHT? I KNOW. NO SEX INVOLVED. THIS IS A STICKY SITUATION AND ONE THAT SHOULD NOT INVOLVE YOU. IM NOT SAYING THAT YOU SHOULDN'T BE WITH HIM. HE NEEDS SPACE AND HE MADE THIS PART OF THE MESS AND PROBABLY DOESN'T WANT TO SUBJECT YOU TO THE FUCKING DRAMA.MY ADVISE IS TO LEAVE AND MOVE OUT. HE NEEDS TO BE CLEAR ABOUT WHAT HE WANTS AND YOU LET HIM. IF HE LOVES YOU AND YOU LOVE HIM THINGS WILL WORK THEMSELVES OUT. IF NOT, THEN YOU WILL FIND SOMEONE ELSE. EVER HEARD "ALL IS FAIR IN LOVE AND WAR"? I GUESS IT IS.YOU WALK OUT AND SAY GIVE IT A YEAR, CAUSE DIVORCE IS MESSY.AND IN THIS CASE IT DEFINITELY IS. IF YOU LOVE SOMEONE LET THEM GO. IF THEY COME BACK TO YOU THEN....THEY ARE YOURS..{SMILE I KNOW YOU ARE SAD} . BE STRONG GIRL,LOL HOPE THIS HELPS.LOL MEXXXI
863299
Years ago in my "wild times" I was the single other woman.  Not something I'm proud of, but we all make choices.  I did not have to deal with the situation you are describing.  The men I was seeing were already separated from their wives.  The most I ever had to do was stay quiet in the room while he talked on the phone with his wife.  \n\nI got what I wanted out of them.  Sex and some occasional companionship.   I never made it into anything it wasn't, and I never deluded myself that the relationships were anything but temporary.  \n\nI'll be honest.  This isn't a good choice for you to make.  It never turns out well, and your children will hate you when they find out.  I say WHEN...because they will find out.  Think about what you are going to be doing to yourself and your family.  Is a moment of getting your jollies off worth it?\n\nIn the end it's your choice, and the choice of the single lady to participate in such a relationship.  Good luck, your going to need it.
753022
You should have both settled on the children issue BEFORE marrying. There is no excuse for this issue to be surfacing now, shame on you both for not addressing it before you ever committed to each other.\n\nNow you are stuck. Since he does not want children and you do, the only recourse you have is divorce.
292685
You can't just stop, but you can let go.  Unfortunately it doesn't matter who you are and how good or bad your relationship was, when it comes to change it is scary.  You have to figure out how you are going to survive on your own and while you have a responsibility to yourself to be happy and end this relationship, you still have a responsibility to your kids to make sure they are taken care of physically and emotionally.  Take your time and come up with a plan that you can live with.  Talk to a lawyer and make sure that plan is in the best interests of you and your kids.  Then execute the plan so that some day down the road you can find true happiness.
1081449
I WAS married for a long time and it took me a long time to get the strength to leave him. I should of done it sooner. If you are scared find some sort of support group or email me. \nOnce I was away from him, I realized how crazy things and it was way worse then I ever imagined. I believe that marriage is a lifetime commitment. But, it can be broken if things are bad enough.  Find a friend who you can depend on to do what you must do. If you have exhausted all hope of improving things, then you need to gather your wits and be strong and do what you need to do. I stayed way to long and it really harmed my two youngest children. They paid a huge price.
640507
You weren't successful because you were trying to fill a bigger void than you probably thought.  Sex is an emotional event that gets better when there is an attachment.  Women are by nature also more likely to become attached.  You are going to be unhappy until you either fix your marriage or get out of it.  So many people stay married for the kids.  Be careful about that.  If you and your husband are unhappy and have a loveless marriage, your kids will notice.  And, you are teaching them how to define a healthy marriage.  When they grow up seeing little affection between the two of you, they will grow up and find themselves in relationships that are lacking and unfulfilling.  I am sure, as a mother, you don't want to pass that lesson on.  These are serious issues that you should consider talking with a professional about.  If you have extramarital sex and become attached to another man, you will make yourself really miserable and confused.  It is like test driving a Mercedes when you have no ability to buy one.  It makes your Ford seem really crappy.  Know what I mean?\n\nIf you just want the occassional physical gratification, get out of town, and find someone who is also out of town.  Again, there are issues and dangers there, so think it through.\n\nGood luck to you.
517748
better for both if you move on, your kids will love you, but this will cause them to have bad relationships if you stay in a bad situation just for them. they will do as they see you doing, to keep, the general psychological health, of all concerned, in good or fair condition,except for the husband, get out, you will find some one who cares for you for you, not just for the sake of the kids, i came from an adopted family and mother stayed with my father for this very reason, i wish she had done what i am telling you, good luck with your new life!
810329
First of all, you are NOT weak. It takes incredible strength and courage to honestly face the stress in your marriage and continue to stay. You obviously care a great deal about all your children. You want to keep the family together if possible. \n\nI hope he will come around, but you do need to prepare a Plan B if he doesn't. Right now he's got financial control over you and he's using it. Maybe you could set a short term goal of saving $1000 in the next 6 months...? By then, you may have a clear direction for yourself and your family.\n\nGod Bless.
347789
My advice is to sit down and talk with your wife. Find out why she left you and try to resolve the problem. If you do get it resolved, your kids will listen to you and your wife. If it doesn't, talk to your kids. Find out why they went to stay with your wife and inlaws. Agian, try to resolve the problems. If those problems can't be resolved peacefully with your wife, get a lawyer so you can have time with your kids too. It's not fair to you to  have to sit and miss your kids who you love while your wife gets to see them all the time. You should both have equal rights to see them.
635280
Wow, this is tough...I think that it's tough because of the children, if you were a childless couple then I would say move on but when there are kids involved it's not that easy. How long were you together before you got married? It must not have been long because you say that this is a personality type that your not accustomed too and if you were with her for awhile you would have seen her true personality.\n\nIt seems to me that your in a quandary and the only advice I can give to you is counseling. If she is unwilling to go you need to go by yourself so that you are able to make well thought out decisions. I lived for 15 yrs. with a man that had no personality and he was very hard on the kids. I put up with this dysfunctional behavior for a long time and when I did leave it was hard but in the end it all worked out and it was worth the struggles we went through. The reason why I am telling you this is sometimes marriages do not work out and most of the time it is for the better. I am not telling you to give up on your marriage but if she is unwilling to compromise then that maybe the answer. I wish you the best of luck with your decisions.
940279
I would suggest you go to counseling to see if you can mend your marriage; it might even be better than before.  Losing a job can be devastating for anyone, but it's especially tough for men.  It sounds like your husband fell into a depression and is just now climbing out of it.  The fact that he still wants to try with you and has made some improvement says a lot.\n\nIf the counseling works, then give the marriage an honest try before you decide to throw in the towel.  \n\nDon't stay together because of the kids.  I've seen that happen with disastrous results.  The children wind up seeing their parents live a life of tolerance, not love.\n\nHe's making an effort; with some new communication skills and both of your working at your marriage, you may find that you love him again.
223320
It's not worth staying in a bad marriage because of kids. Most of the time it does more harm to them than good. When old enough just explain that sometimes 2 people can't live together...K
700993
If you're looking for "an easy way out", you're NEVER going to find it. There is NO easy way out of marriage, especially where kids are involved. What you are going to have to do, is get alone, and decide whether you're better off with him(like he is), or better off without him. Good Luck on your decision!