What will you do as a new wife if you found out that husband still loves his ex-wife?
360384
Well, look at it this way, it shows that feelings for him run deep and that he understands love is eternal.  Just because one still loves someone doesn't mean that they feel they can have a relationship with them.  I love the man who I was engaged to before my husband, and I'll love him forever.  That doesn't mean I"m going to sleep with him or leave my husband for him.  It didn't work for us, we both knew that and moved on.  We've remained best friends for over 25 years and go to lunch every Tuesday.
170677
Trouble alert ... trouble alert...\n\nIf he is being controlled by her, you will not be happy. If there are no children in the picture, simply confront your partner - his ex-wife has no say in how he runs his life (again, in absence of children, and even then, only in how it affects the children). Let him know that this is unacceptable and that you want it to stop.\n\nNot bringing up the subject is going to cause trouble. His ex-wife will constantly push until she meets resistance - make sure that the resistance is there at a level that **you and your partner** are comfortable with.\n\nAnother problem - is your partner allowing this to happen? I don't know your situation, but is he entirely over her? Him allowing his ex-wife to control him is odd.
558059
You would know. My now ex- used to hug and kiss his prior ex-wife in front of me when we were dating. They talked like they were best friends. At least if your man hates her, you have nothing to fear!!!
1167906
I would say move on.. not only does he have no respect for other women, but you as his wife, you should be getting the most.\n\nHe thought nothing of your feelings when he was doing it.. and now that it is out in the open.. how does he feel??? \n\nI would say if he shows no remorse.. don't even bother... move on.. life is too short.. and us women are settling for jerks!!
307535
My husband's ex. hahahahahhahaha
1106675
I watched another woman and my (ex) husband break up my marriage. She tried to control and manipulate my kids, as well as my in-laws. After our divorce,they got married. As the years went by, my kids began to hate their step mother, and realized what I had said about their step mother were true. I ran into my ex-husbands wife after she went on vacation (without my ex). She told me that she wished she hadn't have came back, and also wished she never married my ex. From what my kids say, my ex is miserable with his wife. They've been married for 18 yrs. He won't divorce her 'cuz he knows she'll take him for everything he's got. She's told the kids that if she divorces their dad, she'll take him for everything he has.  Karma is a wonderful thing!
981071
I honestly believe that it is.  Even if your ex-husband says "go ahead...i'm okay with it"...trust me...he's NOT okay with it.  How would it make you feel if your ex-husband started dating YOUR best friend??  Always think about how you would feel if these things were being done to you.....  On another note, after a divorce or a break up, find yourself, and then find a FRESH relationship, one thats not going to continue to remind you of the one you just had.
708594
Unless you had some interest in the Ex, why did you talk with him a couple times?  Obviously, you felt you were doing wrong, because you hid it.  Now, AFTER you get caught, you whine about how much you love your husband, and how you want things to work out.  so touching.  Odd that you weren't all that concerned about NOT doing something your husband would consider being unfaithful, when you expected to not be found out, but AFTER getting caught, you are sooo worried about your marriage.  Just a guess- Did your husband have a problem with this guy before?  Did he specifically ask you not to have anything to do with him?  Did you promise hubby you wouldn't have anything to do with that ex?  Lady, you may find that some things just can't be fixed, and saying "sorry" AFTER getting caught, means very little.
859232
it takes awhile, sometimes a few years. (yeah, i know), but honestly would you rather that she stayed with you and lied about how she really felt? \ndon't both of you deserve to be TRULY loved by someone? it took a lot of courage to tell you she was unhappy and leave although right now i know you hate her guts! but it would have been easier to just pretend. and then you would be left loving a woman that didn't love you the way you should be loved.  \n\nit took me a long time to get over my divorce...i loved him, but i hated him at the same time. it suxs! but in time we came to realize that we were better off separated and we are friends now. we have a child together...so i am in constant contact with him. it's been 8yrs...and although some subjects are a bit touchy still....it's not so bad, and i don't hate him anymore. i might still be disappointed in some things...but the hate is gone.\nhang in there...
235158
If I were you, why struggle with who you're going to believe and just get away from the drama.  What was his reaction?  \n\nIf he's not divorced, he's still married and you don't want to be strung along thinking that it may happen.  If he still wants you, he'll get it done quick and then the two of you can carry on, but until that's done, don't be the one waiting for it to happen.  \n\nGood Luck!
388796
Work on what got it to that point. I had my wife cheat on me. And I left. It took all I had to do it. We have had alot of problems since then, basically I don't feel like she shows me respect or respects me. Point is it depends on how your husband feels about you. I would take my ex back in a heartbeat if I thought she really wanted to work it out and really felt bad about it. In this situation you'll have to eat alot of crow but if he loves you he'll work with you. Good luck I hope it works out.
277215
I would dump his sorry a$$. Once you know he is married, you are willingly contributing to his wifes heartache when she finds out (and trust me, she will find out).\nHow would you feel if you were married and your husband cheated with someone who knew he was married?\nLet's pretend he is going to leave his wife for you (which he will not), you will become the person he cheats on.
775213
Some you win, some you lose.\n\nYou have to try & put this behind you otherwise you'll end up going out of your mind. I realise it must hurt like hell but you can't change the situation.\nOther people will do things at times that if we allow them (situations) will totally screw up our heads. Right now you need to find a way not to let that happen.\n\nUnfortunately there's no easy answer to this, you will feel right now as if you've been totally & utterly betrayed & of course you have. Made all the worse because it's come from someone that you loved & trusted (your wife & Mother of your Children)\n\nI don't think the fact that she was already your ex when you found out makes it any easier for you because you were still together when she did what she did.\nThe worst thing in situations like this is that your future relationships will (if you allow them to) be tainted with distrust & scepticism. You may have to get help to sort this out for you (counselling) before you even attempt to embark on another relationship. Stuff like this tends to rear its ugly head (in our heads) when we least expect it to. If left it can almost take over our lives.\n\nI'm sorry that this has happened. Fair enough if a marriage has broken down or one partner has an issue with the other & things can't be resolved, then arrangements need to be made to split as amicably as possible. To go off & have an affair without sorting one way or the other the relationship we're already in is rank out of order.\n\nDon't let people change you into the slimy scum that they are. \nit will only make you unhappy.\n\nYou can pretty much be sure of this fact though, & that is, once the relationship your ex is now in hits the bumps that hit every relationship at one time or another, she doesn't have what it takes to sort things out properly & will be moving on to her next beau.\n\nYou can feel pity for the Guy she's with now that he can't somehow see that the way she's treating her ex husband & father of her Children, she will one day treat him.\n\nI wish you the best of luck for your future,
39884
Almost never.  And besides, if he leaves his wife for you, what makes you think he won't do it to you (leave you for another)?  Not the best footing for a new relationship..
682673
divorce your ex! duh! and tell your new man quick- otherwise he'll think you were trying to hide it from him.
867642
yes, if he was married and never divorced, he is still married to the other women,\n\nno other marriage would be valid,  and in reality he is guilty of bigomy by marring to women.\n\nSo if you are the new "wife"  he needs to get a divorce and remarry you.
442042
Just because he's your ex doesn't give any reason for you to not be hurt or be concerned. Have you tried talking or consoling him yet? Maybe all differences should be set aside for a moment and you try to help. I mean you were married so at some point you guys loved each other. Im sure there were times when he was there for you and you him , maybe you know him well enough that you can help him deal now, u kno? Good Luck