How do you feel about a married couple choosing to refrain from having children?
369286
Choosing not to reproduce is not a bad thing. In fact, I think more couples should actually think it through before they do it. Most couples just think that because they are married that  childbearing has to be the next step.  I think if more people thought it through and considered what type of parents they would be, instead of just doing it out of societal obligation, the world would be a better place.
821800
I agree with "thinking ahead."  And I think you would agree that you've not known each other long enough to get past the "in love" infatuation stage to make the life-long commitment that being parents brings, to say nothing of whether you will get/remain married.\n\nThis is obviously an important issue to discuss, but wait to see if marriage and children emerge out of a strong, loving committed relationship rather than using the relationship to (perhaps) aritifically create a marriage and family that will not last but the responsibilities and consequences of which will be with you for the rest of you life.\n\np.s. You are not selfish for not being sure of wanting to be a parent at this time in your life.  There are more parents who should not be than non-parents who should be! :-)
526646
There is nothing wrong with it. But it is going to be hard to do if you want to have the children yourself. It is going to be hard for you to get a husband to go along with you sleeping with a lot of different men. Adoption seems like the best way to do it.
527003
I am a doctor and while having wild trouble with my wife, I decided to never be with here again.  I have 2 kids. A few months later, 4 to be exact, I started living with one of my patients, who is 40, and had a wild drive for me since 2 years ago. While being my patient nothing happened, but we started talking after I left my wife, never to return I thought. I lived with this woman for over a year, and that was the happiest time of my life. Nevertheless, my kids were having very serious trouble, and even though I did not wish to see my wife again, I decided to return to my kids and get them out of trouble. I will never stop loving my patient, she was the sweetest girl I've never known, but I cannot live happily with her while my kids are going down hill. I may be damned, but I need my kids to be OK for me to be happy, and they demand my presence. I could never feel happy while being with the woman I love while my kids are going through trouble. You being a virgin is not an issue to me, it should not be an issue to you, it should not be an issue for anybody loving you. What worries me is to find you left aside because this guy is married. I am not saying it is right or wrong, I am saying I doubt he will feel absolutely and sincerely happy with you while thinking about his kids. Been there, done that, don't go there, yo don't want to go there. You'll be happy for a while, and then you will know hell. Excuse my honesty, but I do not wish any human being to go through my experience. Hence I have the need to speak about it. And only anonimously. Take my word: you don't want this.\nPD: I am aged 46.
582017
I was very opposed to the idea of marriage for a long time.  But I'm now on my second marriage!  For one thing, a marriage is public statement of your relationship.  Its also a very official statement of commitment to each other.  For me, i was surprised that i actually felt more secure and serious about the relationships after I married.  People treat you differently, and many people just are more comfortable with married couples than living together couples.  Sure, marriage doesn't guarantee a forever relationship, but it makes the relationship 'official', both to the couple and the people around them.\n\nOf course, it also gives you legal rights.  For the most part, only married couples can share health insurance, have rights when the other is incapacitated, get alimony, adopt a child together.
713099
I made a personal choice that if I didn't have kids by age 40, I just wouldn't at all. Mainly because of my health and possible health risks to the child, and because of what I felt would be fair to a child.\n\nI think it's a matter of health and also a matter of having the energy and time to devote to a growing child. I know some people over 40 have no problems with it.
687958
I defently denyed it. I got married and started a family. It was the right thing to do according to my parents. Now I wish I would of lissioned to my heart and not others. I knew there was something just never attempted to explore.
838303
I think it's perfectly fine, as long as someone's with the kids, who cares! much better than sticking them in childcare. my husband and i have discussed this a few times, and we both would prefer for him to stay home and me work. You're not alone in this thought! I guess people look down on it though because it's traditionally the wife's role to raise the kids, and the husband's to work. but i'm not one to always go with tradition!! if it works for you, tell those rude people so, and let them know that at least you and your family's happy, that's all that matters.
597183
I'm 33 and I don't want to have children.
788130
In this day and age, I would love to say no, but sadly, I think if a woman is childless, society still thinks she has not reached her full potential as a female.  I'm a 'western' woman, and I had my first baby last December, and he's the best thing in my life, but before I had him, people would always ask me 'when' I am having children, not 'if'.  It is so expected, in most quarters anyway.  Now I have a child, I can sense that I'm treated differently, not pointedly, but as if I'm now a 'real' woman, and I have to admit, that having my baby has made me a much more confident person.  I remember reading about the 66 Romanian woman, who had a baby girl last year, and she said "A woman who has not had a child has not lead a complete life".  In a sense, I sort of agree, but I don't think women should be judged on this, yes, they haven't experienced what it is to give new life, but it does not make them any less a person.  Interestingly, what do you think about men?  What does society think of childless men?  Anybody who doesn't procreate?
218488
I am not married, but I wouldn't stay married out of convenience. Instead, I would try to make the marriage work. I would try to identify exactly which of my needs (and my partner's needs) are not being met and how to fix them. I take marriage vows extremely seriously. I would never tell someone I would be with them until death do us part, for better or worse, unless I truly meant it.
1069302
Wouldn't do it, there's too much on the line, the rest of you sex life, the rest of your life, your child (if you decide to have one) ect. Wrapping it up doesn't always work.
977308
Oh that is a tough situation and I dont think you can make one decision that will fit everyone. I think it would depend on how far into the pregnancy you are, which would still be a tough decision to make. I don't have kids or particularly want them, but if I were pregnant and I was in the situation I personally would want to be kept alive long enough for my child to survive. Most sane normal women would want that. That is a personal decision however and the goverment should keep its nose out.
170143
Trap?  That's kind of a broad generalization on all women, isn't it?  Marriage was a very serious decision for me and my husband both, and we certainly didn't rush into it.  We were together for 3 years before deciding to get married, and afterwards we waited 7 years before we decided to have a child.  It was all a mutual decision, based on what we both wanted, and I personally wouldn't have wanted to marry a man who wasn't 100% wholeheartedly into being there.
297426
I love the idea. If you can't support a child, you can't have them. Sounds cold and logical.
653564
If they don't want children, that's fine.  I just hope they take extra precautions when it comes to sex to make sure they won't have any "accidents".
872053
I don't think you should leave her. If you married this woman b/c you love her , and you both found out she cant have children; I think it is very selfish of you to leave for that reason. If she wanted to have children how do you think she feels that she will be unable to do so. There  are other ways to have children in your life. You can always adopt, Depending on the reason why she cant have children you may have the option of using a  surrogate, if either of you have siblings you could be that favorite  aunt and uncle. You could be a mentor to some child who needs someone to look up to.  I think it is mean, and mean spirited, as well as insensitive of you to want to leave her. I don't think she was hoping to not to be able to have children. She probably would  not leave you if you were the one who was unable to produce children. I do believe the wedding vows say for better or worse. So if this is the "worse" then I don't think it is that bad. Do you really love her?