why are people bi-sexual, can't they just choose?
367540
because they like penis and vagina, do you only like one flavor of ice cream? Don't think so.
113834
being gay is not something that someone chooses for themselves they are or they are not.  You can change a behavior, such as not having relationships with a same sex partner, but no matter what if you are gay, you are gay
186209
because that is what turns them on the most or turns them on at all, a lot of gay people are born that way but not all\nmost people are by Nature multisexual \ncircumstance ,conditions , opertunity and education or peer influence,decides sexuality,\nalthough some are more macho or more efeminate(for both the sexes)we are made up of 4 sexualities,not 2 as is generally believed or taught.xx,xy,yx,yy. .X being male and y being female\n\nif two man grew up on a dessert island alone ,the chance that they would have sex together is very big
653983
the line between homosexuality and heterosexuality is not a point a to b thing. its a continuum, and yes, id oes  change over time.\nSome people really are not attracted to the same sex, even with all the booze in the world. But I would say that as a species we are curious, so it is in our nature to experiment.\nI live in a same sex union and i was previously married to a man, before i came to terms with my orientation. I was in denial. Like many are who will likely blast you for asking this question ;)
627370
People are giving you answers to two questions.\n\nSome people are telling you no one has to have sex.  That is true.  Celibacy has always been around -- some religions are very keen on it.  So, a person can choose not to have sex.  I could choose not to have sex with my partner, I could even choose to force myself to have sex with a female.  It makes my physically ill, but I could force the issue, at least I think I could.  Likewise, a heterosexual could force himself to have sex with another man. He could choose not to have sex with women.  In NEITHER CASE would the person change.  the homosexual would still be homosexual, the heterosexual would still be heterosexual.  What they would be doing would in both cases be unnatural for them.  But they could choose.\n\nThen there is the question of choosing how you feel.  No, there is no choice there except for bisexuals.  I have never found a single woman even vaguely attractive sexually.  I get along with women well enough, though the vast majority of my friennds are straight males.  I've had the same male lover for nearly 15 years, but I still notice other males, I just choose not to have sex with them (back to that choice thing again, in this case the same choice a straight man in a committed relationship makes).  \n\nNo one knows the reasons for this, it may be a cocktail of reasons, or  it may be genetic, or chemo-genetic -- both the eyeblink logitudnal study and the pheremonal response study imply that it is one or the other. What it is not is environmental.\n\nAs for our friend who thinks he turned gay because he wanted to see a penis at 6.  I think you feel guilty inside for being gay, and you concocted that as an excuse.  I saw penises and vaginas all my life -- my family was not big on modesty inside our home, and it was no big deal.  However, I began to realize what I liked by 8 and fully understood it was sexual by 11.  So you were interested in penises earlier, as I was - and then you realized what it meant at 10 -- not that much different from me, but without the self-acceptance and family support -- therefore, instead of realizing that it was self-recongition, you make it into a cause.  It isn't, you were not born straight.\n\nIf people have questions do not hesitate to email me.\n\nRegards,\n\nReynolds Jones\nSchenectady, NY\nhttp://www.rebuff.org\nbelieveinyou24@yahoo.com
1107666
I am not lesbian or bi... I think that one of the possible reasons that people are so down on bi women is that unlike lesbians, it has been considered cool, hot and sexy by mainstream media, even so much so that some girls would claim that they are bi for the extra attention that they could receive from males... On the other hand, the lesbian/gay community has been marginalized to a point where a person that could be seen as a 'fence-sitter' (even if that's not the case) would not be accepted fully by the lesbian/gay community, especially when it is more acceptable to be bi than to be gay. Within the straight community, I think we've seen a media-induced increase of bi-sexual girls, many who return to straightness when the novelty wears off, so a truly bisexual woman would be taken less seriously due to the other girls going through 'a phase'.
308184
Nope, being bi-sexual means potentially liking someone regardless of their sex, or to put it another way, liking somebody for who they are without the restriction of gender.
711669
Wow, I am shocked at the majority of the answers. Perhaps they think that ACTING on being gay/lesbian is a choice?\n\nAnyways I do agree with you. People JUST don't understand that you can't control feelings. You DON'T get to choose what sex you like. Why do you think a big percentage of gays in denials kill themselves? Many try to like the opposite sex. but you CAN'T choose what you like. I just can't stress it enough. I don't know from personal experience, but I do know I couldn't pretend to like women because deep down inside I never would have sexual desires for women even if I wanted to. You can't force yourself to have sexual desires for something you don't want it for, and that is why straight people think being gay is a "choice".
834384
I agree that it could be what A B is talking about, the fear of going any further than the physical because of internalized homophobia. However, another possibility is that only being sexually attracted to women is one of the myriad of possibilities when it comes to sexual orientation. There are so many aspects of attraction- physical, sexual, romantic, platonic, etc- that who are we to say that if you can feel one for a certain gender, you have to feel all the others too? It could be, though, that whoever your talking about has simply only felt sexual toward women because they haven't found one that they really clicked with yet.
1097734
1. Everyone is really bi-sexual\n2. They are too ashamed to say the are gay/lesbian\n3. Women do it just because it's the in thing\n4. They haven't figured out their true sexual orientation\n\nDee, these are stereotypes. Not all stereotypes are true. I also do not believe all people are really bi. Glad to hear you found your calling early! :)
420351
Go with how you feel. Are heterosexuals that way because of a choice they made, I don't think so. That would be the same for homosexuals, I'm sure, not a choice, but something "inbuilt" from birth.
1034084
Kinsey's studies showed that there are very few people who are 100% straight or 100% gay. I've been out of the closet since I was 18 (I'm 37 now). I've never been with a man, but I do occassionally have fantasies about them...and I do find them attractive. However I still identify myself as a lesbian...though I occassionally will question it myself. It's hard when there are social pressures that you have to be one or the other, but (as Kinsey's studies showed) you really don't have to be and perhaps aren't by nature. It's possible that you may be bisexual. And, really, does it matter? There is no rule that says you should or shouldn't be with a man if you're curious.It's ok to be gay, straight, or bi...just  be yourself...and be truly honest with yourself. Don't pressure yourself either way.
1108098
You're right. People are too black-and-white about sexuality. They don't accept anything in between - either someone is straight and would not even want to touch someone of the same sex or someone is gay and would not even want to touch someone of the opposite sex. Reality is, of course, far more complex than that. We spend too much time defining what people are and too little time trying to understand who they are.\n\nI think the lesson here is that we probably should go to people we care about - and not the masses on Y!A - when we genuinely need advice!
615828
If there is no sex involved, why does it have to be gay?  Why can't you be friends with any gender/orientation?
622956
You know I am a strong christian, but I don't shun science and common sense. Being gay is not a choice. It's just not, if you ask almost any gay guy or girl, they would say they would not choose to be gay, because who in their right mind would choose to be made fun of, shunned and hated? No one.
689826
Interesting article indeed. I do agree with you in the sense that it is not a choice- it is only explainable by they way a person FEELS or thinks, not by the way he WANTS to think. I hate people who hate people with different sexual orientations- they dont have a right to judge people by their feelings and preferences, although i dont have a gay/lesbian friend in person.
685975
Because many people feel that it is morally wrong to be bisexual or a lesbian. If course much of that feeling is based in their opinions about their own sexuality ("I'm straight therefore everyone has to be straight").