guys the married man is in love as well but we have not started with the relationship yet please help?
357128
Well, first of all don't start any relationship with a married man... (think of a family that you are about to ruin and ask yourself "If I get married, would I want my family to be destroyed by my husband's cheating?" If your answer is no then you'll know how this man's wife would feel if you will agree to be his other woman... second of all, find a single man who will love and accept you for what you are. Afterall, you can fall in love without having to ruin anybody else's life
306746
First figure out what feelings these are you have and how strong.Second imagine yourself without the person who at one time (and probably still do)you loved with all your heart,(loved enough to make her your wife). If imagining her gone and with another man doesn't bother you, then I'd say "its over",but if it does BOTHER you-Then stay away from whatevers tempting you,and focus on yourself and your wife.
219336
I would bring it up with him. You are already living together which is a huge part of marriage and so what's the holdup?
344145
Hmmm...I can not advocate that cheating on your husband no matter what the circustances are is right because if you are unhappy you at least owe it to him to voice your emotions and to move on. Just because you don't have a good relationship does not mean that his feelings should be neglected just to satisfy your own. Since you two have been together for quite some time don't you think that you owe him that much to be honest? You say that he treats you badly and that you are unhappy but I'm sorry that doesn't justify your cheating in anyway especially considering that you have no children involved that might cause you to be stuck in staying. As for the guy that you are seeing now, maybe you are in love and perhaps a future with him will be great but you are more or less in that fairytale stage of a relationship where they can do no wrong and this will fade. If this is something that you honestly feel is worth pursuing in order to make yourself happy then go for it by all means. Just remember that your happiness does not need to be based on a man and that you can find it yourself no matter what the outcome. I think that the betrayal and hurt is going to be worst for your husband who has no idea of what is about to surface and that for you it might be hard but that you'll make it since you have realized that this marriage is no longer what you want. I'm in no way trying to put you down or belittle you for your actions because it happens to the best of us since we are all only human but I would definitely consider your situation a little further and make sure that this guy just doesn't look like a better option because you dont really have the repsonsbilities and obligations that you share with your husband. There are no stings attached at this point with this new guy so it makes it all light-hearted and fun and if you do both embark on a relationship (especially a long distance one) there will be difficulties that will eventually come along. I would suggest taking some time out for yourself once you get a divorce and not rush into anything too quickly. I think that you need to hash out somethings with yourself instead of seeking comfort from a man that is merely supplying what is lacking in ur current relationship. Obviously if you decided to get married to your spouse, these feelings at one point or another were there with him and look at what has become of that. I think you need to just really spend some time with yourself and getting to reaquainted with your independent single self before finding an identity in someone else. I'm sure you are a good person and I hope that whatever choice you make that you will find the happiness that you seek. Just remember the feeling of everyone else involved and don't let your heart do all of the thinking for you during a time when you need to use your head. Best of luck to you:)
201273
Give it some time. Love at first sight is just that, sight. Find out everything you can about this person and let them do the same with you. Once you have done that if that feeling is still there then think about the big Married thing. Whats the rush? If you love them today and it's real you will love them tomorrow.
470258
I will warn you now from being ther 'other woman'... you are setting yourself (and the prospecitve other woman) and your wife up for a LOT of heartache. I fell in love with a man that I can't have and it has destroyed my life (message me offline if you want to hear it). He calls his wife an ice cube and they have barely had any kind of intimate relationship in four years. I gave him love, affection and my soul only to have it destroyed. Could you honestly hurt anyone like this if it happened?? You have to think of all of the people that will become involved and it will more than likely turn into a big mess.\n\nThink seriously before you proceed.
425721
Sounds like trouble. Find away to fall in love again with the one you are married to.Its worth the effort, isn't it?
394219
If he does not have feelings for you then leave it alone. You can't make someone like you or for that matter love you. Now it you have a bad marriage and if the problems can be solved than try and work them out. And u are not saying its a bad marriage just because you like this other guy are you? Move on and God Bless.
18240
You've got two of your most important reasons right in your question...you need to move on & he is married. Honestly, this is exactly where I would start the conversation. Plus, one of the things you might not have considered is that you deserve more, as in someone who loves you & no one else. When you make the break, make it clean & permenant - don't let him try to tell you that he will think about leaving his wife or any of that other prattle. It will take time but your heart will heal...\n\nGood luck!
942089
He's using his kids as an excuse to stay in the marriage with his wife.\nIf he's been married for 3 years, despite the fact that he's not living with her, and the marriage is THAT bad, he would have gotten a divorce by now if he really feels strongly enough for you.\nI'd say, leave the guy.  He clearly doesn't know what he wants right now and if you try and get involved, you'll only get hurt.
144734
you can't make somebody love you, maybe you should revalute why you are still married?? If he does not love you , why stay with him. You have to make your own happiness.
235158
If I were you, why struggle with who you're going to believe and just get away from the drama.  What was his reaction?  \n\nIf he's not divorced, he's still married and you don't want to be strung along thinking that it may happen.  If he still wants you, he'll get it done quick and then the two of you can carry on, but until that's done, don't be the one waiting for it to happen.  \n\nGood Luck!
591539
I wouldn't do anything right now.  You've told him how you feel.  You have to give him some time.  I'm sure he still loves you too.  You both need to be sure that you are in love not that you just love each other and are used to being together.  I wish you the best!
1176705
Don't guess if he's married or not.  Find out for sure.  Do not pursue anything until you do this.  Drop it immediately if he is.
884683
Pursue him in a good demeanor. Try to contact him and get the sparks going. He may be married. Do you know for sure? Do all that you can, but be subtle about it. Good luck.....SAM
464789
If he loves you and you love him then you will get married when the time is right.  However, you have to be patient, if his marriage ended badly (emotionally that is) then he might not be ready to commit just yet.  You should not take that as a sign that he does not love you or doesn't want to be with you.  Just go slow and keep talking to eachother and it will work out the way it was intended to.
147852
How do you know that what you feel is indeed LOVE?? Have you and this guy spent enough time together, shared your thoughts, etc.? It is usual for one party to fall in love with the other. Has this guy led you on at all?? If you really are in love with the guy, and he does not know, THEN YOU SHOULD TELL HIM EXACTLY WHAT AND HOW YOU FEEL!! COMMUNICATION IS THE KEY INGREDIENT IN ANY RELATIONSHIP! If he does not reciprocate for whatever reason, then you just need to accept the truth as hard as it might be and then move on.