How can you possibly renew trust in your wife if she has lied , cheated and deceived you for 37 yrs ?
366889
When something similar happened to me, I tried to forgive but I could not forget. I ended up having to leave him for my own sanity. That level of betrayal is unforgivable.It sucks but you don't seem to be able to move on with her so maybe you so move without her.
1118350
Sorry, unless she figures out her life and straighten up, there is no cure for her.  How will you build a loving relationship if you can't trust her?  Find someone you love and trust.
195121
well your answer lies on one thing where is she at now as well who else has she been with in this matter you feel for the oldest thing going that is being played for a stand in . i have been there did  it as well not worth it in my opion how do you think i caught my.ex. wife. she was cheating i had the sence to get rid of it. grow up like i did. nt worth it my friend she this woman you are talking about is a player if she was with you you might thing who else has she fooled with you dont want to end up in court over this woman she aint worth ita woman like that cant love she has something called a whoreing spree ?
239761
Tough one, need to contact an attorney.  She seriously has some issues.  I would think she's bluffing about the whole thing if she will not provide proof.  \n  She must not be over your hubby or is a drama queen.  Don't think you can charge someone criminally for lying, too bad.  You may have some civil action, possibly.\nGood luck.
984025
Trust just like respect is not something that is handed to you in a relationship it is earned.  This is your proving ground now, a second chance in a sense, you earn trust by being trust worthy.  Show her you can be trusted and won't lie again unless you want a nose like Pinocchio!  : ^ )
692413
It will be a rough ride but you will have to accommendate the spouse until they feel they can trust you again.  This will include telling them where you are, what you will be doing and hearing the infraction over and over again until they feel you are trustworthy again. \n\nIt will not be easy.
841534
I know it's hard, believe me! It's not something you get over in one night, or one year. It takes alot of time and you have to ask yourself if you are willing to give yourself that time? Is the marriage good now? Is it worth working on? Your wife needs to work on rebuilding your trust. Is she willing to do whatever it takes to help you along with this? It really seems to me that she is, because 20yrs is a long time that you both have invested in. I know you are in pain right now, your wife has been in pain for the last 10yrs thinking about what she did and has lived with knowing that one day you would find out and maybe end the life she really wants. And that is to be wife and a mother to YOUR kids. I am not making excuses for her because what she did was wrong! I know you need validation right now and you have every right to feel that way. You (I am sure) are a great dad. So for right now, focus on that. Time will heal...I promise!
175250
Well if he really loves you all you need to do is show him you love him tell him you love him and be completely honest with him about everything. Even the smallest little white lie can be a big thing at this point if he thinks you are being the least bit secretive then he will lose more and more trust in you. I know because I am in a similar situation with my wife, and those are the things I wish I could have from her to help me rebuild our trust
704876
some do and some don't , most of the time I feel they do, but I have seen people that haven't cheated on their wives ever again, or else they got real good at sneaking around, I guess in time if you stay with him you will find out if he has or hasn't, its going to take alot of time for you to totally trust him again, Good luck to you
1098499
Dude - you did it now. You have to come clean with her, and your wife, and you may lose both of them by doing so. Honesty is the best policy. This gal should already understand your situation, or you should already be separated from the wife.\n\nYou've got some backpedaling to do, and it won't be pretty....
940523
Don't ever admit to anything. The best thing that you can do is accuse her of giving it to you,and then file for divorce on grounds of adultery.
1000221
You need to be honest to both women, You just got back with your wife, don't let her hear this from anyone but you. This is the fastest way to ruin trust. Be nice to the Friend, tell her you like her but only want to be friends. You can also tell her that you may be working things out with your wife. Don't let both women think you have been leading them on. you can loose your wife for good and that doesn't sound like what you want. Tell HER Now. Marriage is a blessing and your wife's feelings should come first. if the friends gets mad then so what. At least your wife knows you're not trying to play games with her.
954178
You need to break up. Its never going to be the way it was. There is no trust anymore, and she will always wonder in the back of her mind if your lying, if your cheating again, or if she can believe anything u tell her.  Its hard to trust a person who betrayed you when they were supposed to love u.  I dont think theres anything you can do to fix it except break up and move on.  And honestly .... how can u be mad, there are reactions for every reaction.  Did u really think she was going to be able to forgive u and forget... please.... no. Nobody every forgives and forgets for a cheater. They can forgive... but they can never forget!
1043413
First of all, don't lower your standards to hers, don't cheat...I understand the love connection and you both have been together for a fair amount of time, but her being unfaithful now doesn't make for a good choice of a wife later...they always say they were going to stop, but allow to continue an affair until its discovered and not voluntarily revealed.  I find that important when it comes to determining if you should continue in such a relationship..I recommend ending it, but to answer your question, it would take a love that thru sorrow and regret for what she has done...that could convince you that this will never happen again...talk to her, find out why and how this happened , take all the information you can get and determine if your heart can forgive and forget in order to make such a shaky relationship last...good luck.
173926
If you still love her and she still loves you very much...then forgiveness is key.  Most times when a woman cheats, there is something missing in the relationship.  You may want to communicate with her indepth to find out what she is missing.  Hopefully you would be able to provide it for her.
857016
To prevent problems in the future and to be able to trust him again, divorce him, let him be someone else's worry. I've been there and have struggled with promises all my life, it doesn't work and is now to late to do anything about it. All I have is the "wish I would haves' and the aughts" it's all to late to live a full life, I let myself be cheated.
147535
Alright....I'm a reformed liar. I can admit it because I've fixed that within me. I've seperated myself from that part of my past and I have moved on. Having said that, now we can go into why he's lying. When someone lies to the one they love, they don't do so to intentionally hurt. Even tho that's usually the outcome. He's obviously been in a situation/relationship before you where his situation didn't provide for any trust structure. So to carry on some semblance of normalcy he learned to fabricate a reality to satisfy the questioning/insecurities of another JUSt so he could function on a day to day basis. What it boils down to is this: He's never known a relationship where trust is real and all-encompassing. He could fear he doesn't deserve you. Comes from past feelings of inadequecy or lack of self-worth. You're much more then he feels he deserves. Even tho you're what he wants. It's a self-destructive attitude I had. Psychologists agree. If you don't feel you deserve something, you won't treat it well. Human nature. But I digress. He needs to UNDERSTAND that in YOU he can have true faith and trust. He can confide in you like none other. Because you are his wife. And noone will ever come between that. You need to create that safe zone so he can feel safe to come to you for things and to tell you what is on his mind. As it is now he doesn't feel you can handle things he thinks and feels. He fears you'll blow up on him or overreact or even leave him if he tells you what/how he thinks and feels. You need to show him. Not only in words but also in matching actions. Say you can handle it and then actually handle it. Help him break that reflex of fabricating what he thinks you want to hear. Trust me...he's a prisoner. I was. It cost me almost everything. But most of all....have patience. This is his self-defense/preservation reflex. I say "reflex". So he automatically does it before he thinks I'm sure. So, like an alcholic in rehab you must be his friend and help him through it. Make it through and your relationship will be stronger then you've ever seen it. Best thing is: once in that habbit of total communication and honesty, he'll become addicted to the safety of it's feeling and stick with it. Because if he's the guy I was, he hates the stress and poressure of all that guilt. Best of luck to you.