My father is very ill and i don't know how to feel about it.......................?
362087
I really hate to here of your father falling ill once again. Let me tell you just last week my father was told that he has cancer of the pancreas.It is a scary time for all involed but most of all the patient. I went to see my father just last year after 24 years, we had some bad issuses between us as well does my sister and brother does with him. I feel better that I went I can honestly say that I have no regrets. You feel how you feel and you can only do what you feel is best towards your dad. Always remember that you tried your very best towards him. May god bless you and your father, put your trust in him and he will lead the way. Good luck.
1098916
Reality hit "home".  Also, one of the stages of grief, is anger.\nAllow him to rant, without delving into politics. \nWar seems like such an abstract thing, until you find yourself having made the ultimate sacrifice of your child.\nHis feelings may change in time, and, they may not.  It's something he has to come to terms with, on his own.  And in his own time.\nJust be supportive of him in this time of need.  He may thank you someday for being a caring, "bleeding -heart liberal".  His Republican friends may be spewing the usual "gave his life for his country" type of thing...which, as a father, he may not want to be hearing right now.
345816
Liver disease can be a very difficult problem to deal with for people. As long as you stay in touch with his doctors and get him all the services and care he needs, you will ensure that his condition is optimized. \n\nYour father has Cirrhosis. This is a chronic liver diseases (usually due to Hepatitis) where the normal liver cells are damaged and replaced by scar tissue. Basically, the amount of normal liver tissue is decreased. Liver disease is common in the US (ranked 8th as a cause of death in the United States).\n\nYour dad's Gastroenterologist would make this diagnosis and it sounds like he is getting worked up for Cirrhosis. Without knowimg more details about him it may be hard to say but it seems unlikely that he has cancer. \nCancer of the liver is usually diagnosed by imaging, clinical picture and labwork (serum AFP). The most common (primary) malignancy of the liver is hepatocellular carcinoma. The only treatment is liver transplant. However, this surgery is very complicated. \n\nYou can help your father by watching his SALT intake, making sure he takes his medications and that he gets to his appointments. (Develope a close relationship with his Gastroenterologist/ Hepatologist.)\n\n It's very hard to have an ill parent. My father (in his early sixties) died of cancer a few years ago and it was a difficult time for my entire family. Catering to a sick parent became a shared responsibility for entire family and, emotionally, I know it was the most difficult for my mother. We got through it with the suppport of our friends and eachother.   I think back and really appreciate the time I had with him. I cherish my memories of him and the big impact he has had on my life. \n\nI wish you and your dad the best.
382794
Lord god, please, if it possible spare this family of this suffering and give this ill man the strength and wisdom to overcome this ailment and see to it that he has the passion to want to survive this. SHould this not be your will, please let him not suffer and let his family adjust and be ok without him.
780648
I know that feeling all too well. . .same boat, only I have two boys and my guy. . .well lets just say he's not the hero I'd love to say I have standing up for his country in Kuwait. . .(actually we're not even an official couple anymore) So. . .feel blessed to know that you are loved and you love for starters ( : \nIn any event. . .I think that your father's situation is unfortunate and I can relate having a similar friendship with both of my parents who have had their share of trials and tribulations. . .What my advice is to you. . .Sweetie you work hard, you raise a daughter with the weight of the world, missing your man, balancing your family wanting to do all you can to make their lives better. . .you deserve to spend your holiday happy, with your friends, enjoying a break from NY and the cold weather. . . But, since you can't very well go there and have real fun worrying that you have done something terrible to your father. . .have a Christmas with him and his household ahead of time and let him know your fellings so he can see what a blessing it is that you will have the opportunity on this time away to relax and enjoy life for all it has to offer surrounded by friends and in the warm sunshine of California ( : \nI can tell from what you said here. . . .it is truly what he would want for you. I will keep him and his troubles in my thoughts and hope for the best results everyday. . .\n\nsome days i sit, \n\nstarin out my window, \n\nwatchin this world pass me by, \n\npeople make jokes cause they dont understand me, \n\nthay just dont see my real side, \n\nsomtimes i think im crazy im crazy oh so crazy, \n\nwhy am i here am i just wastin&#92;' my time, \n\nbut then i see my baby sud-denly im not crazy, \n\nit all makes sense when i look into her ey-es, \n\n\n\n*chorus* \n\nsometimes it feels like the worlds on my shoulders, \n\never-yones&#92;' leanin&#92;' on me,and sometimes it feels like, \n\nthe world&#92;'s almost over but she stays with me \n\n\n\ni look at her starin at her picture, \n\nlookin at her amazing gaping brown eyes, \n\nwe talk bout sex and it almost already feels good, \n\nim happy just knowin were alive, \n\nwe&#92;'ve faced tough trials and tribulations, \n\nhard fights an even had a tough rough ride through degradation, \n\nbut our love always seems to survive, \n\nmy friends they call me crazy,am i crazy?only may-be \n\nthey just dont see the love thats entered my life, \n\nand i talk to my baby theres no question im not crazy, \n\nit all makes sense when i look into those eyes\n\nPeople understand in their own way. . . .we all feel it from time to time. . . \n\nLet the world go for a few days. . .it will be great for everyone involved ( ;\n\n\n\n\n\nNatalie- tried to get in touch with you but, it says you are not accepting messages. . .I'm fory_secret@yahoo.com if you wanna e-mail & talk ( : \n\nBy the way: Eminem . . . he sang that (wow right?!?!?)
1013722
Probably you, but for different reasons.\nKnow this, that you can overcome this pain. It does not seem it now, but there is nothing that you can't handle. Get out in the sun, keep your life going, as any parent would want this. talk to your dad, tell him how happy you were today, but you can still tell him that your sad about his condition. If I were in your shoes, I might tell my dad that I am going to accept what has happened, as there is nothing I can do about it, and I am going to make the best of the situation by being happy,for his sake and your's,  and talking with him. Life through us a curve-ball, but I am throwing it back and showing my strength. My dad would be proud of me for that, and your's will, too. Keep talking to him, and show him that you can make the best of this that you possibly can.
1156247
have you ever tell you dad how you felt about his attitude?\nhave your mum ever spoke to you of how she felt about the situation?\nyou know,i advise that you'd better see a counselor .Pour our your feelings to the counselor.He/she will be able to help you cope with the current situation you' re facing.\nI know your family must have meant a lot to you.And I suppose you're a growing up child.I agree the current situation affects your life and you other family members but please remember one thing do not let those things to pollute your mind or affect your studies.\nMost importantly get a professional help.\ncheer up ok.I wish you all the best.
432974
I don't understand how you want people from all over the world to help your father? I really don't think that doctors sit on Yahoo giving out free medical advice, either. Nurses do though. I'll pray for your father. I'm sorry but that is all I can do for him. GOD BLESS YOU AND HIM!
776088
My deepest sympathy to you.  My Grandfather committed suicide just before Christmas a few years back.  I rarely discuss it with my family as they do not wish to see it for what it was.  I cannot imagine the horror you feel as it was your own father.\n\nBut, to the question at hand.  God judges the hearts of man.  He alone decides.  Things to consider, did your Dad have a right relationship prior to death?  Was he mentally ill.  Severe depressed?  It is so hard to know what was going through a persons mind before they committed the final tragedy.\n\nPlease look to a church with grief counseling.  Do not add guilt to your already overloaded plate.  Remember God is loving and will make the right decision.  Keep your faith and trust your God and he will be faithful to you and see you through this horrible time.\n\nI will pray for you and your family.
732853
I have not lost a parent. I have lost a brother. We were approx. 12 months apart in age. He died drinking and driving when I was 20 and he was 19. I was devastated, but never cried about it. He and I had talked about death but not our own. There isn't a day goes by I don't think about him. I am sad, on the inside, but not depressed. I can talk about him with great pride and conviction without crying a drop. And about the loss..... is there anyway to describe the feeling of emptiness and loss? No, but we can not dwell on what we can not change. I do know that my life would be completely different if he were here. I moved 1000 miles from home, just to get away from the sadness, it didn't help. But it did change the whole direction of my life. I will not say that it is a mental illness to have feeling like this, but it is very difficult to express the way you truly feel. I try not to talk about it but feel better when I do. His birthday was last week 10/25. Mine is today.
411027
I am sorry to hear about your father. I will pray for him and you. Now to your question, if your feel the need to see him or contact him then do it. You may not get the response you want so be aware of that. If there is something you have to say to him do it. Even write it out. I am a life coach, if you wish to email me i wll talk more. speakingforlove @ yahoo.com
838247
Well I don't blame you for the way you feel. Let me tell you something, my parents are separated, they have been some time now. So I am living with my mom and only my mom, things have changed with my family, I have grown up more and have more responsibility and what I think of my mom has changed.\n\nI didn't like my father either, so i decided to live with my mom, and now my life is OK...
896986
I am so sorry for your loss.  First of all, please know that your father's act had nothing to do with you.  \nA four year old is too young to be told about suicide.  It is difficult for them to grasp the concept of death at all.  Surely there was a memorial service or a funeral.  If the child did not attend have a private one.  Look through a family album and remember some good times with your father. Tell him that granddad passed away.  Tell him that means you won't see him again, but you will always love and miss him.  Tell him you can share memories about granddad anytime he wants.  That it is alright to cry about this and feel sad, but it is also alright to be happy and granddad would want him to remember the happy days they shared. \nLet this be something you believe yourself!  Life must go on.  Get some grief counseling for yourself and/or join a survivor's support group.  \nCelebrate Christmas with your child.  You don't want the season to be a dark memory for him.  It will cheer you up to do this.  Decorate your home together.  Remember you are building memories with your child.  \nAllow yourself some private time each day to mourn, but do gather your courage to celebrate with your child.\nPerhaps buy a Christmas card for your father.  Write in it all the feelings you have about your loss.  Seal it and put it away.  \nIf you celebrate Christmas you must have a belief in God.  Pray for your healing.  Release any guilt you may be feeling to God.  Pray for your father.  \nAgain, my sympathy and my prayers go out to you.  A tribute to your father would be living the fullest life you can.
1071127
First I want to say that your avatar does you no justice, you are a handsome young man!\nOkay, back to the subject.  Your father helped give you life, so that's just as simple as it sounds, he will always be your father, yes, even emotionally.  The emotional feedback may not be acceptable, but it's what he gives you.  I never had a father either.  Well, I had one, but he didn't give a fucc about me.  He lived around the corner from me growing up, and never even came to see me.  I think you should just go on with your life and dont let him spoil things for, dont sweat it.  It may be really hard, but the anger and resentment does nothing but waste time and create negative energy that life is to short to be bothered with.  \nFind happiness within yourself, and try to appreciate the things he has given to you.
1136784
I was always afraid of my father's death when I was growing up. My dad was my world (mom didn't want me so my dad raised me by himself). My biggest fear was him passing away. One night he left to go to the store for coffee, and was killed by a drunk driver. It hit me like a ton of bricks. No matter how much I tried to prepare myself for that day, it was nothing compared to how I actually felt. My world had crumbled the second that my step brother called me. I got depressed, and closed everyone out. No one understood me like my dad did. Everyone thought I had gone nuts, but it was my way of dealing with it. In two days it'll be three years since it happened. Things haven't been the same since. I got married and didn't have him there to walk me down the aisle, he never got to see his grandson. There's times I'm glad he's not here now because he would beat my husband to death for hitting me, and if he didn't then, he would've after we divorced. Anyways, the best advice I can offer is make the best out of every moment you spend with her and always cherish the times you've had with her. Her death is inevitable, and there is no way to prepare yourself. When it happens, talk to someone, anyone you think my have even the tiniest idea on how you're feeling. Talk about her because remembering her the way she was is the best way to deal with death. It won't get better immediately, but give it time. Since my dad's death I truly feel alone in this world, but I've found out that I do have some true friends who have helped me out through this. If you don't have someone you can talk to, if you like, you can IM me anytime...my yahoo ID is under my profile....think I'm making this too long winded as it is :D.
1078103
I am sorry to hear of your father's illness. There are support groups out there. http://www.alz.org The Alzheimer's Association is available online. Also if you or your family members are involved in care-giving for him there are some wonderful groups for that as well.\nI am not sure where you are;located, but check with your local senior center and senior advocates, the are a valuable source of help for people and families with this and other dementia troubles.\nJust remember that he is still your dad and that you have to be very patient with him. I wish you the best and please read up some of these sources and make some contacts, because your entire family and friends are going to be effected with this and you will need a support  system and much understanding and coping strategies. God bless.
1034234
This sense of loss you feel is real.Everyone grieves for diffferent periods of time.I can relate to how you feel since both my parents died almost 3 years ago. My dad was sick for some time and when he died it was almost a blessing to see him at peace.My mother dies 10 days later and it was such a shock.I tried to deal with my loss by talking about my feelings with my family.I found comfort in making a scrapbook about them. Sometimes it is the little things that will remind you of them. It may be hearing a song, seeing someone who vaguely resembles your loved ones, scents from perfume  or something so commonplace you associate it with your parents.These  memories while they give you sadness at first they later give you comfort when you realized you loved your parents and they loved you.I hope I can share a small prayer that I had read at my parent's funeral ."The Lord shall have their souls to keep, And I their fond memories when I sleep."