Do probing space aliens get mad at me for not taking care of my hemorrhoids?
372312
I would think that as a specimen with a condition to study you would be even more valuable to alien researchers.
855492
May want to consider pin worms. If it was itching of the anus, would require a different answer. But rectal itching is pretty indicative of an infestation.
31252
Everyone is going to say the same thing.  See a doctor.  Of course you are scared.  Thats natural.  I am going to suggest something that is kinda gross but its a good test.  After you are done having a bm, and you are done wiping, take some fresh toilet paper (white, not colored or printed) and pat the hole.  If it is bright red bloody then more than likely its hemorroids.  But yeah, you really should see your doctor as soon as possible.  Yesterday would be best.  Good luck and feel better soon.  You will be fine.
627383
itching, blood and burning from where? I'm assuming your "hind end". If so, sounds like hemorroids. Just try some Preparation H.
937283
hemorroids.\nclick here:http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hemorrhoid
286269
Hemorrhoids or polyps.  Check colon cancer EZ Detect test kit from pharmacy and make an appointment with doctor.  Fissures could be cause.  Probably nothing major if it doesn't happen often.  Also, can use Prep. H to soothe hemorrhoids.
578703
hemorrhoids deeper inside the rectum don't hurt as much as ones on the outside. \n\nbright red blood can also be a sign of colon or rectal cancer. if you are over 50 or have a family history of colon cancer, you need to go to the doctor and have a colonoscopy ASAP.
1065191
It is not inevitable, but is quite common, due to higher pressure put of the veins in the abdominal area. For the same reason many pregnant women get varicose veins on the legs.\n\nIt would be good you treat your hemorrhoids while they are small and not let them grow. Remember, the bigger they are, more painful they are!
415085
Diet plays an important role in whether a person gets hemorrhoids.  High fiber diets increase "bulk" and allows your solid waste to move through easily. Low fiber diets tend to constipate you, then you strain, and the straining will provoke hemorrhoids.\n\nDrinking plenty of water will help keep your solid waste soft!\n\nToo much sitting, not just on the toilet will also provoke them.  Good exercise helps.  Hemorrhoids are related to varicose veins, and exercise helps keep varicose veins at bay.\n\nIf they are really bad, there are surgical and some less invasive things your doctor can do.
860251
They stick a rubber hose up your backside and shoot water up you. It makes you sit on the loo for half a day and then you are "cleansed". I think that if our colons needed cleansing, God would have made us with a hose. Since he hasn't ... no cleansing for me, thanx.
594446
Yes.\n\nYou can find more information here:\nhttp://www.hemorrhoid.net/abscess.php\n\nHope this helps!
498301
Hemorrhoids are swollen but normally present blood vessels in and around the anus and lower rectum that stretch under pressure. Hemorrhoids are very similar to varicose veins in the legs. The increased pressure and swelling may result from straining to move the bowel. Factors contributing to hemorrhoids are: pregnancy, heredity, aging, and chronic constipation or diarrhea. \n\nHemorrhoids may occur inside the anus (internal) or under the skin around the anus (external). An internal hemorrhoid may protrude through the anus outside the body. This is called a protruding hemorrhoid.\n\nSymptoms of Hemorrhoids?\nThere are many symptoms and everyone with hemorrhoids will not experience all of the symptoms. Some of the symptoms are: bright red blood covering the stool, painful swelling around the anus, a hard lump around the anus, fissures, fistulae, abscesses, or irritation and itching (pruritus ani). Excessive straining, rubbing or cleaning the anus may worsen symptoms.\n\nWhat Causes Hemorrhoids?\nHemorrhoids are caused by too much pressure in the rectum, forcing blood to stretch and bulge the walls of the veins. Sometimes the pressure ruptures the veins.\n\nAre Hemorrhoids Dangerous?\nNo. Hemorrhoids usually are not dangerous or life threatening. In most cases, the symptoms of hemorrhoids will only last a few days. Not every one with hemorrhoids will experience symptoms.\n\nAre Hemorrhoids Common?\nYes. Hemorrhoids affect both men and women. About half of the population will have hemorrhoids by age 50. Hemorrhoids are also common among pregnant women. Hemorrhoids are common among pregnant women because the pressure of the fetus in the abdomen, as well as hormonal changes that occur during pregnancy, cause the hemorrhoidal vessels to enlarge. These vessels are also placed under severe pressure during childbirth. For most women, hemorrhoids caused by pregnancy are a temporary problem and given the right care will go away.\n\nHow Are Hemorrhoids Diagnosed? \nHemorrhoids are diagnosed by a doctor. The doctor will examine the anus, and rectum and look for swollen blood vessels. A digital rectal exam will also be performed. The doctor may also examine the patient with an anoscope, or a proctoscope. An anoscope is a lighted tube useful for viewing internal hemorrhoids. A proctoscope, is used to examine the entire rectum.\n\nCan Hemorrhoids be Treated?\nYes. Medical treatment of hemorrhoids initially is aimed at relieving symptoms. Symptoms can be reduced by: sitting in a a warm tub, Ice packs (to help reduce swelling), usage of a hemorrhoidal cream. Increasing fiber and fluids in the diet will also help (makes softer stool).\n\nIn some cases, hemorrhoids must be treated surgically. The doctor will shrink and destroy the hemorrhoidal tissue. \n\nCan Hemorrhoids Prevented? \nYes. The best way to prevent hemorrhoids is to keep stools soft so they pass easily, with little straining.
856159
Hemorrhoids (also known  piles) are varicosities or swelling and inflammation of veins in the rectum and anus.\n\nTypes and symptoms of hemorrhoids\n\nExternal hemorrhoids are those that occur outside of the anal verge (the distal end of the anal canal). They are sometimes painful, and can be accompanied by swelling and irritation. Itching, although often thought to be a symptom from external hemorrhoids, is more commonly due to skin irritation. \n\nIf the vein ruptures and a blood clot develops, the hemorrhoid becomes a thrombosed hemorrhoid. \n\nInternal hemorrhoids are those that occur inside the rectum. As this area lacks pain receptors, internal hemorrhoids are usually not painful and most people are not aware that they have them. Internal hemorrhoids, however, may bleed when irritated. \n\nUntreated internal hemorrhoids can lead to two severe forms of hemorrhoids: prolapsed and strangulated hemorrhoids. \n\nProlapsed hemorrhoids are internal hemorrhoids that are so distended that they are pushed outside of the anus. \n\nIf the anal sphincter muscle goes into spasm and traps a prolapsed hemorrhoid outside of the anal opening, the supply of blood is cut off, and the hemorrhoid becomes a strangulated hemorrhoid.
742397
First, what do you drink through the day? V-8 do this, it normal, so think of different drinks and stop for a few days and see if it clear up.\nNext, is Hemorrhoids, not sure how to check, I think they hurt some. I guess if you know someone who will look, they see them, just bumpy things I think.\nLast I know is Prostate Cancer, I really hope this not what it is. I think now they check different for prostate cancer, but, the old way was the finger test, just poke up in there and rub the prostate, if, it ok then finger may just look wet, if there a problem there is blood on the finger.\nAlso, I know this something people not want to hear, but, wash good there everyday, maybe every-time you go and see if that help. Dry well and maybe use a Talc Powder.\nBelow are three links to University of Maryland. Read these and all the Links on Symptoms and Treatment.\nThe first if I remember correct, mention problems with digestive tract and anywhere from the in point to the out could be the problem.\nI hope you read these and then you go see a Doctor. I hope it just something minor in the digestive tract, maybe cause by something you eat regular, but, have a Doctor check this out.
1078001
No, not at all. He is controlled by the aliens who are hovering the earth right now in their amazing space craft. Those same aliens are the ones who are recording you while you masturbate. Not sure why they do it ... they refused to tell me last time I visited their ships. They let me watch but gave no explantation. All they would do is give me that annoying alien cackle. Their breath is soooooooo bad ... good god! Next time I will only pretend to watch.
863274
The problem with your theory is that the aliens, by all reports, are fairly confused about our sexual organs. \n\nIf they have managed to create a human simalcrum based on their knowledge of the anus, you're right, that would be scary indeed.
881114
You say blood, if it is RED then it could most likely be an anal fissure (a small tear to the anus), you will see red blood which wipes onto your toilet paper, and some soreness or itching for a few days each time the fissure heals up. Change your diet!\nThis is not uncommon in young people, even children who eat badly. This is just a case of changing diet, try a small amount of pure orange juice or prune juice each day and a better diet. \nIf this blood is black or your stools are black, this is a bowel or stomach problem, usually in older 40+ aged people, and more serious, you would almost always have cramps or pain too with this type of condition. If so, this is a GP issue, go & see them soon.