me and my so called boyfriend have been together for 14 years on and off. now hes incarcerated. he tells me he
359548
Move on. I'm sure he has a boyfriend by now.
561171
Don't go back with the old one...if he says mean things now, it will be worse when he's throwing sh@t in your face when you are 30. Get rid of the new one, or you'll be bailing him out of jail when you are 50 because he'll be brawling in bars.  You are young, who cares about them, live it up girlie...you don't need to be strapped down to a boyfriend right now...enjoy your friends, you will go separate ways soon enough..there's always time for boyfriends, believe me, they don't go away, lol
207058
If it's love, you'll wind up waiting no matter what anyone says and you might be right....Babydoll, I don't know your jailbird, so I can't make any comment about whether or not he'd be worth waiting for, but I can tell you this, with absolute certainty: Loving an inmate is a VERY HARD ROAD.Since you've spent some time inside, you already know some of this...it's about slogging through endless paperwork, it's trying to keep up with rules that seem to change every week, it's waiting for incredibly expensive collect phone calls that might or might not come and when he doesn't call, praying with all your heart that the phones in the day room are just either too busy or broken and that he's not hurt or on lockdown, it's becoming obsessive about checking your mail and the heartsick feeling that comes over you when the letter you want so badly isn't there,it's about getting writers cramp and spending $20 a week on stamps and stationary, it's about dealing with either keeping it secret or dealing with disapproval of the relationship everywhere you turn and mostly it means living in a future you can't be sure of and that really does take a toll.\nIf I had a choice, I wouldn't do it, but I've loved the guy for over 20 years and I can't quit now...and I'm almost 40, so it's not as if I'm spending my youth dealing with the Dept.of Corrections...think carefully, Sweetie, it is a hard, hard thing to do and no guarantees.
238035
Dump him. If he's already going to juvie, he's going to wind up as someone you don't want to be with anyway. It's a better idea to just get over him, and move on to someone who's going to be better to you and who's going to be around, not in jail.
1104872
I'm sorry you are going through this.....My oldest did the same thing....he stole everything he could pawn or sale for money to keep his habit supported. I had to put a lock on my bedroom door to keep him out. And even that didnt work for long....He stole from his grandparents...friends....neighbors. I had people calling me all the time about the things he was doing. It started when he was about 14 years old....and he was in and out of trouble for so long. We had him to doctors and therapists.....he got put in juvenile centers.....county jail.....and finally did 3 different prison sentences..all of this was in the time frame of 11 years......after the second time in prison...I told him if he got in trouble again...then I would not come and see him...its too hard to watch your child like that....he got so used to that institutional life....that he couldnt funtion in the real world. Now he is out again....and seems to be doing good.......He is working and living about 4 hours away....we talk on the phone almost daily.....He lives with my brother..his uncle......He seems to really want to make it this time...and God willing ...he will....Be strong......tough love is just that....but I think its tougher on the parent than the child.....My prayers are with you and your child...
409622
Guess it depends on how bad is his crime?  And exactly how much do you LOVE him???  Yup, there's always extenuating circumstances.  It's never cut n dried.  Start with, what do you WANT to do?  Are you willing to wait 5 years for someone who may not be worth waiting for?  Questions, questions......and only YOU are able to answer them.  Any of us, as strangers, can only hope that you ask yourself all these tough questions, so that your're able to make the best decision for yourself.
1041358
i know u feel bad but let me just tell you that when someone is in jail the last thing he want to hear is that his gf is going out with another dude... don't put it on the family's name.. i hope he can forgive you someday
260928
Hmmm.  This is a tough one.  I can only give you a little bit of personal advice...take it for what it's worth.  I dated a man (and I am not proud of this by ANY means) who was in prison (for fleeing the police.  I know, I know. Please don't judge...I was young and stupid!) I went into this relationship thinking that I would be able to change him. That was the biggest mistake I ever made.  I've learned that no matter how much you try, that person will never change unless THEY want to.  If he doesn't want to change, it's not worth your unhappiness to stay with him. Life is too short to put up with the bulls*it!\n\nOn the other hand, have you tried talking to your man about these issues?  Does he know how you feel?  He may be willing to listen.  Maybe you will need to compromise with him.  Maybe he will be willing to change his ways if you're willing to change a little too.  I'm getting married in November and have come to realize that the only way a relationship will survive is if both people give a little and take a little.  Just be honest to him, and to yourself.  Go with your gut feelings.  Afterall, it's YOU that really matters in the end.  Good luck!!
1050641
Baby Girl, I am so sorry to hear about your husband.  First of all, do you feel that your husband has changed, and will be faithful to you when he gets out, can you forgive, and most of all can you forget.  Are there children from this relationship, and if so what is his likely hood of re-offending and you being alone again. Those are the questions you should be asking yourself. If you believe in him and love him, and can forgive and forget, then give him a second chance...You do love him with all your heart don't you!  Jail changes a man, hopefully yours will change for the better and realize what a wonderfull wife he has waiting for him at home. I hope everything works out for you, the waiting is the hard part, Take care and God bless.  If you want to chat with someone in a similar position you can e-mail me   ms_blackdog@yahoo.ca (it is ca....I am in Canada)
338686
Actually, I am... My husband has been an inmate twice since we've met and has just recently been released about a week and a half ago. We have been going through a messy divorce since the 23 of June, last year(our six month wedding anniversary).\n\nThere also was a man that I had known and spent half my life in love with and he was released last summer and is now in Colorado doing great; he didn't waste anytime getting back on his feet.\n\nThey both, by far, are repeat offenders not once, not twice, not even thrice. They both have spent the majority of there lives going in and out of jail and extremely close to prison. The difference between them is that my husband wants to do right and has the faith and ability to do so as well as a lot of potential for success in many areas of his life, but he lacks the understanding of HOW to live differently and the common sense of wise decision making. He isn't doing any of the bad things that he did to get him locked up to begin with, but he is still putting himself in situations that could eventually land him back where he began, claiming that his walk with god is so strong that he can handle the situation, when his family and I all know that his strength will eventually weaken due to where he is choosing to stay. BUT the other guy I spoke of had a safe place to stay and a secure job with in weeks and went as far as a move from California to Colorado to get away from his previous influences and is doing great right now; he even got custody of his 6 year old daughter back.\n\nThese two people are very similar and very different which goes to show that you shou7ldn't judge people by their mistakes; it is our mistakes that make us human. BUT we can be judged by the efforts we take to make things right once given the knowledge, ability, and the freedom to do so.\n\nThe best advice I could give is to go online tro the court website of the county he is convicted in, type his name into the search, and it will pull up his entire criminal history and all other related cases he may have; it's all public record. Also, try and find out what kind of home life he had growing up, because that will play a big role in his decision making process and will give you a better idea of his non-jail personality. I say non-jail personality, because once you're locked up you tend to form what's called a prison mentality which means that you learn to anipulate people into beleiving that what you say is genuine and that they really have rehabilitated and deserve another chance, yet once released they go right back to there old ways. So find out as much as you can about who he used to be and carefully compare him to the person you know him to be now. Ask him what plans he has for when he is released. Most inmates that are serious about the desire to rehabilitate will have already constructed a plan as to where they will stay, how they will get around, where they will work, just general goals and ways of meeting those goals.\n\nFind out when he is supposed to be released and continue writing to him or calling him which ever you prefer and see how he unfolds as a person once released rather than getting involved right away.\n\nIt's not easy, but sometimes you have to see where your heart leads you, just make sure your smarts have brought along a safety net just incase.
277728
I HOPE U TOLD BF#2 ABOUT  BF ON LOCKDOWN. IF HE IS A BIG BOY HE'LL UNDERSTAND THAT IT WAS JUST ONE OF THEM THANGS.AND I HOPE YOU DON'T THINK FOR ONE MINUTE THAT THE BOYFRIEND IN JAIL BELIEVES YOU WERE FAITHFUL WHILE HE WAS AWAY.
216310
It sounds like you don't really like the guy that's been in jail enough to sit around and wait on him. That isn't necessarily a bad thing for you, though.Why is he an on and off again boyfriend? Is it because of jail? Is it because of the actual relationship? You need  someone that will be good to you. How do you feel about the other guy? Could be you have feelings for him or you might even be ready to move on and find someone completely new. Don't loose your self esteem during all this.You deserve someone that'll be good to you and be there for you. Don't take any crap from either one.I wish you the best of luck!
715212
Your question brought tears to my eyes.  Your life sounds like mine when I was 20.  My so called boyfriend and I are 5 years apart also and we have a child together.  Your fiance sounds just like mine years ago. The life you are living is a hard one, I can feel your pain.   I left my boyfriend several times because of his controlling crazy ways. My friends werent good enough, he didnt like me to go out, he was jealous of anything and everything.  And he accused me of sleeping with anybody and everybody (male, female, dog, cat, if I looked at it I was sleeping with it).  He couldnt hold down a job either.  He was a good father also.  Remember men like this make good fathers because they are CONTROLLING. I used to think is this all there is for me like you do but trust me its not.  You can take your child and raise it by yourself.  I raised 2 kids at your age by myself.  Trust me this man is only going to drag you down.  Here I am years 15 years later and I am STILL going back and forth with the same man.  Only difference is now he has changed he is no longer that controlling jerk he used to be.  But it took 15 years to get here. And that is only because he matured in some areas but in other areas he is still a jerk.  We dont live together so why am I holding on? I am working on myself now to figure that out.  My question to you is.  Do you want to wait 15 years like me for this man to finally treat you with the respect you deserve? I can see your like me, you need to save yourself from yourself.  I thought I was in love, funny thing is I still do, but I also know what is best for me.  Men like this never change.  Mine changed his controlling ways but only because he had no choice.  I have figured out through the years that guys like this are always going to find a way to hurt you.  The hurt never stops.  Don't say you made your bed so you should lie in it.  No one deserves the kind of treatment you receive.  I really think you will be able to make a good life for you and you child.  I did.  I am successful and have 2 great kids.  Funny thing is now "jerk" wants to settle down.  But the past is some thing you never forget.  Especially when he is still doing little stupid things that hurt me.  Like I said the hurt never stops.  I would love to give you strength and advice to help you through this because I can sense there is probally more to your story just like their is more to mine.  Dont think you are being selfish.  That was my problem years ago.  I put everyones happiness before my own.  Only sacrifice you need to make is for your child, remember that.  Your child needs to be raised in a loving argue free environment.  It is going to be hard.  Beause this guy has ahold of your mind, more than a hold on your heart.
492811
You have to do something, you can press charges by aking help from organizations that deals with this. They will give you free lawyer, counselling, etc. After he's in jail, forget about him and the hurting experiences, move on girl, you deserve more than him and you should be happy.You are still lucky because he showed his true colors and you're not married yet and without kids. Trust me, it's like hell!\nBe happy girl, you'll find someone who will respect and love you all the way! Best regards!
497091
nope leave him alone he is sa jailbird and u are 2 nice lookin for that go get somebody thats gonna be there 4 you when calls its not gonna be collect okay u can do better than that okay (good luck )
73994
Come to http://www.prisontalk.com and check out all the different forums and chat with others who are going through the same thing...good luck!
424426
Your fiance was in prison and he still hasn't learned not to try to circumvent the law? sounds to me like he is lucky to be out in the first place.