how do u respond to the idea that ur soon 2 b ex husband bringing his new female around ur son?
361924
You and your husband are separating because you couldn't get along being married to each other, so there shouldn't be any problems now. You sound like you may be a little bitter, get over the fact that he has a new female friend. It was bound to happen, unfortunately it was a lot sooner than you would have liked. Learn to get along with your ex for the sake of your son, he is the only person that should matter to both of you in this situation. Don't let your anger or hurt of him having a new female friend get in your way of good parenting. If you have concerns that your son may be confused about daddy's new friend you should discuss this calmly with your ex-husband about how the two of you should approach this with him. Let him know your thoughts and concerns about how this may affect your son. Also, if him having someone else is upsetting your feelings don't be afraid to be honest with him about that. Let him know that this is not easy for you, but that you are trying and would appreciate him acknowledging your feelings during this difficult time. If the two of you can learn to get along it will make for a healthy and happy life for your son and eventually for you too. Good luck to you through this difficult time.
186901
Make him feel he is important in your life, after your child ofcourse.  Support what he likes and does. Tell him about all that happens with you and your ex, thats if you guys still see eachother because of your child.  Most importantly, make love to him, and tell him you love him, thats if you really do.
1055264
If you really want her back then you need to show her how much youve changed and matured. Make sure you are giving her money to help with the child and see him/her often. Go pick up your child and spend quality father time with the child. When you pick the child up dont let on to her how much you want her just pull up and get your child and leave and when you bring the child back do the samething trying to simply ignore your ex. Right now your making it to easy, women like a challenge and if she thinks your over it and are doing fine and are taking damn good care of ya'lls child she will start getting interested again.
563677
Your Mother-in-Law sounds pretty tactless,surely her own common sense should have told her that this was NOT a very clever thing to do.As for saying her own son could come 'later',well that's totally out of order,her son should come first.I wholeheartedly agree with you in that the ex could have had her own celebration meal with her son and declined the invitation.If my Mother put me in that position I would be far from happy and tell her so.I would NOT attend the meal,explain it to the son and arrange to take him out for a celebratory meal.\nThe Mother-in-Law needs kicking into touch,is she close to her ex-daughter-in-law?Does she have a problem with you?Whatever this womans logic,which seems to be non existent,your husband need to address the problem and explain,in no uncertain terms that,you and he are a couple now and if she cant respect yours and his feelings then to maybe distance yourselves until she comes to her senses.
292691
I'm assuming your ex is the childs mother.  All the other answers sound good, but I'd just like to add something.  Its really important that your son know that his mom still loves him and cares about what he does in the time that she is not with him.  You, having physical custody of him have a huge infulence over what he thinks about his mom.  I know it can be hard, but for the childs sake you and your ex must put all your personal differences aside.  You dont have to stand next to each other, probably better if you dont, but let her go cheer him on, and give him  a hug afterwards.  He may even play better, knowing she is there.  When its time to go, you have him all to yourself again, she has to go home alone.  This is just one of a thousand things that will come up in the future. If you work this out, you wont have a problem at his graduation!\n\n Its important that he can love his mom without feeling guilty that you dont aprove.  She is the first woman he will ever love, and if he is to have happy relationships with women in the future, he must know that she loves him too.
182686
no thats not fair to him.... you need to get over it and realize that she will be in his life for a very long time bc they have a child together
1077761
It's a great question... really it is.\n\nI find myself making that call a lot.\n\nI'd say... consider the GREATER GOOD... and act accordingly.\n\nFor example... My wife doesn't like ANY INTERACTION with my EX-WIFE... she doesn't even like me TALKING to her... But my SON (who lives with me) is a product of that marriage.\n\nSometimes My ex and I will communicate through e-mail... to deal with an issue... and I'll just NOT MENTION that to my current wife.\n\nThe greater good.   There are other examples... but this one I think is pretty cut and dried.
976514
your kids will see in time what an idiot their father is being. dont curse him infront of the kids, rant to a friend, dont give your ex the attention he's craving by bringing up this matter, ignore it and be strong for your children. your new partner will have his own feelings about this matter, if he wishes to talk about it then get it out in the open, but avoid talking about this with the kids.
212873
Very gently!  lol  Some children depending on their age may resent a new person coming into their dads life.  They may see it as a threat to their relationship with him.  Also alot of kids hang on to the idea that maybe someday their parents will get back together- even years down the road- so they put up a struggle and not want to accept this person in their lives.  Introduce them and take it day by day.  explain that they are NOT there to replace their mother.  That she will be here as a friend to them.  Good Luck
987389
I have 3 kids by my ex and he went off to Australia with his new wife. He stopped paying and I am fighting him in court (at great cost to myself) but now he wants to see his kids for 4 weeks this Christmas. I KNOW your feelings totally. But you have to carry the burden because children are better off if they have a relationship with their dads. Just dont compete. When they get older they will realise what went on. But equally dont put up with their lippyness. Dont let it go on. Make your ex look after them sometimes so you have some time to yourself. And get on with your own life. Your boys need a possitive male rolemodel in their life (your dad, or a brother or a new husband) Get on, get your life back into shape and make some time for yourself. You need it and so do your boys.
962060
i think it would be wise to ask your hubby what is his opion about all of this first before asking other peoples opinion. since he already know everything about your past, and i think his ok with it, give your man the respect, by asking for his help his your problem. but for me i dont think it would be wise to tell your ex about the baby, for it will definitely open doors for a questions and if i were your husband i would definitely dont want you to get too involved with your past specially with what happened to you and your ex. but thats just me. . .  the best thing you can do is to pray for God's guidance. goodluck and GODBLESS to you and your family.
382493
if you divorce your wife because of your son he is just getting his way! stay with your wife, he will get used to her being there.
1159396
You know it would be nice if we weren't adult and we could go around beating the crap out of people's faces..... This would be a perfect time to beat the crap out of someone....lol\n\nWhat I would do is call her. Tell her it's none of her business who you do or don't marry and you could careless if she thought your new hubby was a hunk or not. Tell her to keep her mouth shut around your daughter. That is very RUDE that she said that too your child no matter her age. I would tell her that. You might need to have a talk with your EX's and find out what the deal is. No step mother or girlfriend has the right to say anything about you. If that don't work beat her tail!\nI done got mad and can't type now.\nGood Luck!
920077
use a common friend to get to your ex-wife. i think it's very noble of you to try to work things out among yourselves. if your ex-wife still refuse to accept the fact that you're actually doing her a favor by resorting to peacefull means, then you have no choice but to do whatever would be necessary for the sake of your child. you need not feel guilty then if the court decides in your favor because you have tried your best to warn her.
576089
The good news is, only one week.\nPut yourself in their situation,... What would you want to know about your son?\nAlso, marriage is a family affair. Share your joy with them.\nWhen something good is shared, the happiness doubled.\n\nWhatever you're thinking would happen, is not the reality. It's only your own imagination. So, don't imagine anything negative. Put off all your defenses and embrace all the good thoughts of love that they want to share with you.\n\nMy prayers are with you.
199227
Don't get in a tug of war over her son's affections. Ask her advice from time to time, and do mother-daughter kinds of things together. Show respect and include her before she asks to be included. I'll bet you'll get along just fine.
759077
You and the ex need to set your issues aside and discuss how you are going to raise the son, putting his best interests first. He is playing you both, that's what kids do, even in homes with both parents. You have to decide on a course of action and stick with it, consistency is one of the most difficult things but shows the child you both mean business. Let your ex know that you're interested in his help, but he needs to stick to the plan. You need to support one another in this. I hope you are able to do this, or the son will continue to go back and forth until he's on his own. It won't create a stability within him - be responsible, not emotional and talk w/the ex. Hope it works out. You can do it!