do u think that woman or men should stay in abusive relationships?
371408
Do you think a woman or man should stay in a burning building and HOPE that things will get better?
397885
If you love him enough to put up with physical violence then you are the one who needs help. You shouldn't leave your spouse because they become mentally ill, but you should the day he started slapping you. Also, if he doesn't want to take an active part in his treatment and recovery(ie taking his medicine on his own) then you should definitely leave him because he doesn't love you enough to want to stop hurting you. I am mentally ill and I am all for helping and understanding people with these illnesses, but violence is not accaptable.
973572
Most women will say that they want a man who will treat her kind and be good to her, but when they get get one they often take the kindness as a weakness, and women want a strong man. I was with a woman who was once in a very abusive relationship, I always tried to be nice and gentlemanly but after a while it got to the point to where she was always trying to be dominant in EVERYTHING, I would try to be diplomatic and compromising but she wouldn't have it like that, it was her way or no way. She was very spoiled, she was the youngest of 5 girls and her father always let her get her way. But I've found that most women are basically the same way, if you give in to them too many times then they will become belligerent and abusive (not necessarily physically, but certainly psychologically and emotionally). Many will cheat, she got with my stepbrother while I was out out town working (more than once). I jumped on him when I found out then ran him off and told him to never come back. she was glowing when I came back inside. (like I had fought over her, it takes two to tango, she wasn't innocent) But I myself used to be of the same abusive, (yet non-violent) nature when I was married and I had a real good wife (I NEVER cheated though [didn't need to]). But I basically treated her like the couch in the living room, when I need it, it was there, other than that I could care less and when we'd argue I'd get off topic and just start saying things to make her feel bad. When my life left me I swore that I would never treat a woman that way again. (I still miss her after 15+ years) But all I seem to meet now are just plain wrong. All I can really say is be nice, but be tough. Try to be manly without being overbearing. But I don't know, I guess if it ever gets to the point that you're arguing and it looks like she's going to do whatever she wants anyway just to defy you, DON'T "punch her in the freakin face" punch a hole in the wall if you have to or break something (something cheap and trivial) DO NOT break something that she values. (I hope you don't have to resort to this) but when you appologize for it all (as you should) don't be too submissive. no whiney "Oh baby, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean that, please forgive me". Be firm, more like, "Look, I'm sorry, but you just really upset me", then explain what and how she upset you. Make sure you appoligize within minutes of your rage, it may be one of the few times that you have her absolute attention and you'll need it. Be sensible and practical, but if the reason for you getting mad and not wanting her to do whatever it was she wanted was just because "you said so" then you probably should've just let her be in the first place; they want a "take control" man not a controlling one. They also like a smart man, not a smart *ss man. and don't be too smart every so often act like you don't know something that you do and ask them what it means or how it works.\nI guess as far as how to treat them try this, If you have sisters, think of the way you father was towards them, both in his kindness and in the way he got on to them (when he was mad). Treat a woman like that.(UNLESS you had an abusive father, then never mind. sorry for you [blocking out the bad part sometimes helps if you can do that]). But still, most women are looking for a father figure anyway (at least subconsciously). Oh, and if you didn't have sisters, treat them at least three times as good but only about a quarter as bad as your dad was to you. I say this because that was about the ratio of generosity and fury between my sisters and I that was gotten my our father.\n but don't listen to me if I knew anything about how to treat a woman I'm sure I'd still be married. (or at least have one)
789580
Yeah, but you have to be sure to keep the relationships seperate. If they hurt one another you have to be able to be neutral amd not let either relationship suffer.
250241
Women must learn to stop controlling men. No offense.\n\nHaving said that, if he has a bad past and continues to be the same...leave him.
768526
I think this comes back to the old saying "men, you can't live with them, can't live without them". It could also be applied to women.
1181384
I was once in the same situation for 10 years...I was verbally abused as well as physically abused...we had 2 children...in 60's we had no place to escape to...I eventually was given a way out.....our son is in prison because of his painful childhood....so I do know where you are coming from...people should never stay in an abusive relationship "For the Children" they are suffering that abuse with you....\nAs far as the healing...well its been nearly 28 years since I got out of that marriage...I have anger problems....I have memory loss... I have anxiety and post traumatic stress syndrome...but I have been holding out pretty good...healing takes time...I am still healing...one thing I did learn from all this...Men who do this sort of thing have a complex...they look to you as above them so in order to bring you to THEIR level they have to over power you enough to make themselves feel better about themselves..just hang in there...go forward don't look back....get a journal and write down your feelings..it really helps...and sometimes its better than trying to explain it to people who have never been there...time heals all wounds...but for some...it just takes a lot of time....let me know ...been there...done that...
1128402
Oh man, this one is tough!  I have told numerous women to get out of their homes, like right now, in situations like this.  I want to go and kick their heads in for what they do to their wives/girlfriends.  They need to go to jail and they need to be sentenced for each case of abuse and have the prison time set up so it doesn't run concurrent.  These guys need to be in there for a long time.  I would also like to have the prison population know what they are in for too.   I also like the idea of giving the wife free reign on the jerk before they send him away.  Abuse like that or raping your spouse needs some harsh penalties.  I hate them...they are bound to kill someone.  Every 3 minutes in America, a woman is killed by their partner.  I heard this on the news last week.  It is staggering and scary.  These women need to get out and seek help before it is too late.  Good question!
670505
Absolutely the man must uphold his part!What your so called Christian friends are saying is only partially correct.You should submit to a husband who is respecting you and your marriage.I do not agree that you need to submit to someone who is either abusive,cruel or telling you to do the wrong things,or whom does not equally love and respect you!
562494
No. Men should be allowed to have that emotional outlet, the same as women
488785
Divorce him. Go to a women's shelter for battered women and get a lawyer to get you a divorce. Dont stay with an abusive man he will never change and may one day kill you.
793042
it's ok. but you have to know the limits. men like to dominate the relationship most of the time. and they can be turned-off by girls that are too aggressive
253293
The issue should be "Stop Violence". \n\nAnyway, stopping violence against women will lead to a better life. But there will always be the need of wise, cool and calm decisions.
523918
Real men don't hit women.  Only insecure men do this.  If such men can't be on even ground with women mentally or emotionally, they try to dominate physically.\n\nAnd no, it's not wrong to fight back.  But it is pointless to stay in such a relationship.  Why would you want to be in a relationship where you have to physically fight?
1066294
I think women lose respect for themselves because, as you said, men mistreat us. However, I know not all women have been mistreated, and not all men mistreat women. \n\nBut because so many women have been mistreated, they lose faith in men and lose faith in themselves. Women need to be treated with respect and the love they deserve. If this doesn't happen, I think there will be more problems liske divorce, abused women, and aborted children.
1084606
If you feel this will be an issue that can cause problems in a relationship, it would probably be a bad idea to stay together. I know you will have issues if you get married and have kids because you'll want to instill one set of beliefs in them, and he'll want another set of beliefs instead.
56234
As a survivor of several years of domestic violence and as a happily married woman, I can relate to your situation.It can affect a man in very many different ways. It really depends on what your situation was and if you have any emotional disorders now because of it. If you explain the situation to your significant other and he understands and is supportive really the only affects should be empathy, and a sense of wanting to protect you and wishing it would have never happened. If you have some emotional baggage that comes with it then he should still understand as long as you explain the situation and how you feel completly and don't leave any of your feelings out. Good luck! If he loves you he will understand.