what do you do when a person says abunch a lies about you and hubby?
363647
YOU KNOW I HAVE HAD THIS HAPPEN TO ME ALOT. ITS JUST JEALOUSY. THEY ARENT HAPPY WITH THEIR LIVES AND THE RELATIONSHIP THEY ARE IN. THEY SEE THAT YOU HAVE SOMETHING THAT THEY WANT SO THEY MAKE UP THINGS ABOUT YOU SO THAT YOU FEEL INSECURE ABOUT YOURSELF AND YOUR RELATIONSHIP. MAYBE YOU AND YOUR HUBBY SHOULD CONFRONT THEM TOGETHER AND SEE WHAT THEY HAVE TO SAY THEN. USUALLY THEY ARE DUMB FOUNDED AND CANT SAY ANYTHING. BUT DONT WORRY ABOUT THEM. AS LONG AS YOU KNOW THAT THEY ARE RUMORS AND NOT TRUE YOU SHOULDNT WORRY ABOUT ANYTHING.
479236
Confront him! Try to get him in front of as many people as possible and ask him why he's lying about you. Say you know he must be a very insecure person that's why he always puts other people down to make himself feel better about himself. Then just walk away. He'll look a right idiot. Good luck!
417736
sense his tone \nor remember a thing he told u and u think its a lie then ask him about it latter like a week or smt\nusualy ppl don't remember there lies for more than a cople of days ;)\ndo more than once and make it look like a casual Q. \ndon't make him feel ur investigating him or that u don't beleave him
772792
just ignore it, cuz im sure she lied about other stuff too, once a liar always a liar, deal with it
231169
WELL~ ppl always say DONT YOU LIE TO ME. but we are now living in a world where lie is everywhere. I think whether you are going to tell the truth or not ,is depending on who you are dealing wiht. What do you tihnk of him. YOU lie coz, you think you are protecting from the bad so he wont get hurt, coz, you think you know better than he does, and you should decide his life? what kinda desicsion he iwll make? or you lie for yourself.\nI dont think lying is a big deal, ONLY IF its good for both of you.\nSo, i said, Lie, that means, you care and love him, When you found that you dont even worry about this lie thing, he/she means nothing to you. To lie is to care :D
403189
Heh..lie.\n\nUnless you want to screw everything up.  Telling her the truth may wreck the marriage, but it's not likely that you'll end up with the guy as a result. he'll alwasy resent you.\n\nJust lie.
412961
You don't. Everyone lies. Some peolpe lie to protect the ones they love others lie to protect hemselves. And then there are the ones who lie for no reason at all. These are the worst type of liars. Unneccesary lyin gis uncalled for and you should talk to him about this. Honestly though I don't think it is something that will change so you should look fo ra more honest relationship.
970290
Perhaps you could confront them by letting them know that your husband is aware of what was said, and that you feel betrayed because it had been a private conversation between close friends. Let them know that you feel hurt as well, because it has as you have said, made a very tense situation even worse. \n\nIn some ways it is to be expected that these friends of yours would tell their husbands, that is their life partner. What is terribly wrong is for the husbands to turn around and not only repeat your private words and cause more problems for you, but these husbands also ratted on their own wives by telling. Goes to show you that these husbands did not even think about how their actions would afftect you or the bad position they put their ownnn  wives in. Now these women of course will have to face you with what they have done. All around not a good situation. \n\nI would be very hurt by their actions but as well, I do not think they told their husbands to be mean or to do it as gossip but to share in what you are going through and perhaps as women do... run it by someone else in order to get another's opinion.  Perhaps you could keep this in mind as you confront them. They do owe you a big apology..... as well as their husbands.  Good luck... I hope everything turns out ok for you.
949790
If it's huge enough for him to lie about, it's OK for you to be upset about it!  If he hadn't done anything wrong he wouldn't lie, he wouldn't hide things and go behind your back.  That tells me that he knows he is doing something wrong and does it anyway.  That also shows that he has little or no respect for you.  I would say give him an ultimatum... either he is honest with you or he has to go.  You don't even really have to do that, but it's up to you.  I guess if I were you I wouldn't care if he was in contact with guy friends, but if he's spending that much time talking to an ex it means he still has feelings for her and may have been (or still be) cheating on you with her.  If you still want to work on your relationship, get counseling with him.  It IS a big deal and he has no right to discount your feelings the way you say he does.  If he doesn't respect you, you wont change or fix him.  But if you get marriage counseling, you'll have the best chance of getting through this.  Sorry and good luck.
288783
She is lying to you. Find someone else.
391504
There is a good chance it’s not just you she is lying to. She has probably done this most of her life and most of the time she isn't aware she is doing it until it’s done. She probably lies about things that are so small, the truth wouldn't hurt either. Most people that do this are doing so because they feel their life or the truth is so boring, they don't think anyone will care about them. It’s a cry for help and love. Show her she doesn't need to do this anymore.\n\nSet here down, sometime other when it is not an issue. Look her straight in the eye, while holding her hand; tell her how much you love her. Then talk to her how important trust is in a relationship. Explain to her that you are aware of her deception and it is because you love her so much that, most of the time you can see it in her face. Talk to her about how other people that do not love her and don't have the ability to look over this one issue to see the really great things about her, view her. Explain that you cannot live with dishonesty and mistrust, (and you cannot) but you want to help her, because that is what two people do when they love each other. They work through issues that have the potential to tear them apart.\n\nThen, every time she lies, and there is no one else in the room, give her that look. I know you have one. That look that says, Honey, do we need to talk about this. After a few times, she will respond, straighten up and tell the truth. You may even go through a phase when you might share a chuckle about it. It will take a while, but YOU can turn this around. If you don't, no one else cares enough about her to do it. It remains to be seen if you will stay together but if you help her through this, she will be in dept to you for the rest of your life and you will feel beter about any decesion you make.\n\nGood Luck.
147535
Alright....I'm a reformed liar. I can admit it because I've fixed that within me. I've seperated myself from that part of my past and I have moved on. Having said that, now we can go into why he's lying. When someone lies to the one they love, they don't do so to intentionally hurt. Even tho that's usually the outcome. He's obviously been in a situation/relationship before you where his situation didn't provide for any trust structure. So to carry on some semblance of normalcy he learned to fabricate a reality to satisfy the questioning/insecurities of another JUSt so he could function on a day to day basis. What it boils down to is this: He's never known a relationship where trust is real and all-encompassing. He could fear he doesn't deserve you. Comes from past feelings of inadequecy or lack of self-worth. You're much more then he feels he deserves. Even tho you're what he wants. It's a self-destructive attitude I had. Psychologists agree. If you don't feel you deserve something, you won't treat it well. Human nature. But I digress. He needs to UNDERSTAND that in YOU he can have true faith and trust. He can confide in you like none other. Because you are his wife. And noone will ever come between that. You need to create that safe zone so he can feel safe to come to you for things and to tell you what is on his mind. As it is now he doesn't feel you can handle things he thinks and feels. He fears you'll blow up on him or overreact or even leave him if he tells you what/how he thinks and feels. You need to show him. Not only in words but also in matching actions. Say you can handle it and then actually handle it. Help him break that reflex of fabricating what he thinks you want to hear. Trust me...he's a prisoner. I was. It cost me almost everything. But most of all....have patience. This is his self-defense/preservation reflex. I say "reflex". So he automatically does it before he thinks I'm sure. So, like an alcholic in rehab you must be his friend and help him through it. Make it through and your relationship will be stronger then you've ever seen it. Best thing is: once in that habbit of total communication and honesty, he'll become addicted to the safety of it's feeling and stick with it. Because if he's the guy I was, he hates the stress and poressure of all that guilt. Best of luck to you.
22115
There is something to be said for an emotional affair, so even just talking, if you talk about things with this guy that you don't share with your husband, then you are having and affair, breaking your vows, and in my opinion are at least AS abusive as you claim he is.\n\nYes, affairs are abuse.  The lying to your spouse is a form of crazy-making, an emotional abuse tactic.\n\nIf you have sought pro-marriage counselling, have brought your husband before the church where you were married or some other body and he refuses to do what they recommend to fix his part of the marriage, then divorce him before you begin even a close friendship with another man.\n\nAffairs are abuse, plain and simple.  If your husband were here, I'd tell him to stop his abuse as well, but he's not, so I'm asking you to stop your abusive behavior.
1009347
you should sit down with her and have a calm talk and tell her what the truth is and remind her,what goes on between you and your husband is strictly between you and your husband.
867706
I've just been through a similar situation, leave leave leave.  I found out that not only was my husband doing the on-line thing, that he cheated on me before we were even married.  You have found out that he lied to you, then you can never believe him again.  If you do stay it will be a long hard road to happiness let me tell you.  Hes playing you for a fool if you believe his pathetic lies.  My husband was chatting on-line and talking to one women on the phone (he fessed up that he's known her for 10 years for god sake, didn't think to share that little bit of information did he) in our home while I was there!!! Incredably my husband didn't even think this was an issue - its called having an emotional affair - its still an affair just not physical but its still a violation of your marriage vows and that shows he isn't committed to you what so ever
196582
Take the high road each and every time.  If you succumb to these rumors, you will have lost already.  If you come across someone who's acting weird or evasive probably because of these rumors, ask them straight out and persuade them to talk about it ("perhaps you've heard something about me?...) in a non-confrontational manner.  Tell them that you would be more than happy to clear it up and would entertain their queries which you would appreciate because it's something that you could respond to having been said to your face. If you know who started the rumors, you can do this same tactic also.  This usually makes them apologetic because they can't take full frontal frankness.
15334
It's time to find a new boyfriend if he's telling you lies.  Find someone that appreciates you, and respects you enough to not lie to you.