How do you learn to love again after your loved one died?
360327
I am not being rude or judging you, but maybe you should talk to a councilor. I am sorry to here of your lose, but remember you are not the one that passed on, you are a live and you shouldn't feel guilty about moving on. It will feel like that you are comparing, but if you hang in there you will find the things that you like about the new guy in your life. Hang in there and don't give up. Good luck.
815457
It is better to have loved and lost.. then to have never loved at all.They say this because Love builds relationship after relationship..Love Never really Dies..hard to understand but its true ...cherish what u had..write it down and burn it..dont listen to sad songs..and just try to not think of him..I know its difficult.  you will cry alot.. Pray...I say one for u 2... keep your chin up..
277861
I am so sorry that you are mourning the loss of your loved ones.  Although I have never experienced the death of a descendant, I have seen how much grief death can cause.\n\nIt seems like you are already doing one very good thing that can help you a lot: prayer.  As you continue to pray, God can speak peace to your heart.  I have also found that reading scriptures is a good way to invite the presence of the Holy Ghost into my life.  Whenever you participate in something that is true, He will testify of its truth, and His presence can give you comfort because He is a Comforter.\n\nAlso, you can learn a few doctrines that can be especially comforting in times like this.  Our Heavenly Father has made it possible for our families to be together forever.  Death does not need to be the end of our family relationships if we don't want it to be.  It is possible for you to be joined to members of your family in a way that you can continue to enjoy your relationships forever.  To learn more about this, I encourage you to speak to a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
347820
You should feel the way you feel, and not how anyone else tells you to feel.  That's the only possible answer. If you worry about a lack of feeling upon this persons death, you must understand the psychological shock of such an incident.  It takes time to come to grips with it. If you were truly close to this person, the grief and pain WILL come-believe me.  The most important thing is not to repress it.  You must let it come, you must grieve, and you must deal with it.  Don't ignore it, or bottle it up.  Let yourself feel it.  To ignore it is to harm yourself, and disrespect the memory of your lost one. God bless, and my condolences.
883733
Keep yourself busy doing something good for others and take it hour by hour. Time is the only thing that helps ease the grief-- but there will always be a part of you wishing for the happier moments with the one you lost.
425244
Of course, it is very possible to love again. Love makes the world go round and round and round. While it is true that you have to go through a process in grieving about your lost love, you will surely recover and then love again. But do not force it! Give yourself time to heal. First you are going to deny that you have already lost that love because of the break, then you become angry and hurting so much that you could be very mean and silly to other people, then comes acceptance. And when you accept that love is already gone, then it is time for healing. Do not believe that it will take you always a few months or even 1 or 2 years! Sometimes the loss of love could even expand to about 3 to 4 years, but take heart, you will be healed and will not hurt anymore, and then you will love again. Do not be too hard on yourself! Relax! Be with friends, enjoy life. Life is in the living, in the tissue of every day and hour, and so love again and do not be afraid to lose another love because love comes again a second, a third or a fourth time. \n\nGood luck and may God be with you always. I pray for your early recovery.
398478
The funeral homes have lists of several grief support groups.  Start by contacting the one used when your spouse passed.  If you are religious, your church may have some options also.
426095
The point is most of us don't know we are in love or we  understand it too late! The reason for getting heart-broken is that we get used to some one so much and for such a long time that it's so hard to imagine life without that person. I always relate this to losing some one because of death.I believe that both sutuations are the same. We feel lost without that beloved person and it's hard to accept you won't hear the voice, you won't see the face or you won't see that person any more. The duration depends totally on you. You will eventually forget it but it's easier if you find some hobby or meet new people and totally be willing to forget.
54083
I think we grieve over relationships that die just as we would for people who die.  There are certain steps you go through before it's resolved emotionally.  Denial, anger, grief and acceptance.\n\nNo matter what someone tells you to do you're going to do certain things at each stage and only realizing the next or final stage will get you over it.  To lessen the emotional pain have a good support group you can call at the drop of a hat to talk to.  Reach out to friends and family for support.\n\nRemember though, don't let yourself dwell on it.  Try to get on with life.  Take up new hobbies, join new clubs/societies.  Do the things you couldn't do because the ex didn't want to do them.  Try to embrace the change instead of fighting it.
1103247
Yes, you can feel whole again, but first you have to let go. That doesn't mean forget about him. In the White people world I've experienced that time would eventually heal your wounds and that your husband would want you to move on. He wouldn't want you to be unhappy. In heaven they know you are sad but they would all want you to be strong and live life to the fullest. In my peoples ways, it is similar. It's not all the time but there use to be a time when a loved one died they had a mourning period which lasted a year, but then they were to stop weeping and to continue on with their lives. But, in either world, no one forgets their loved ones. Move on slowly with your friends and family. If it's meant to be you will find love again. I know you will say you will never find another man like him, but nobody is asking that of you. People out here in this world still love you and want's you to be happy again. you probably don't realize it yet but your friends and loved ones are hurting right along with you too. it's up to you to make everyone smile again. Let the sun shine through ok? And remember he's alive in the spirit and he is with God. Everybody is watching over you from up there so don't cry forever. Yes, people in heaven are alive. You are alive. Live again. Jump up and down, do a flip. Live everyday as if it were your last. Stop and smell the roses. And don't take life for granted. Enjoy the beauty of God. That means everyone and everything. Love God with all your might He won't ever let you down. Smile, have a coke, An ice cream. Do what ever you want to do. and just be plain happy once again.   Life goes on. Come on with us. we are going that way. I promise you, you won't be sorry.
187184
cheer up shinny star,shit happens but we must mourn our losses,dust ourselves up and move on with our lives.a wise person once told me that it's better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all,if it was really meant to be he'll be back,but if it's not dry those tears and brace yourself cause love is hard babie.4yrs is a long time,take your time to heal don't jump into anything on the rebound,forgive yourself cause you're blaming yourself.life goes on and that dreadful feeling will fade away with time,most importantly,forgive urself
437940
I believe you can find happiness twice in a life time.  You will never ever forget your first love.  You will always have him in your heart.  and you may not find THAT special kind of love again, but you can love again.  Like if your spouse dies after 20 years of marriage, I do believe later on in life you can find a new love and happiness with a new person.  I dont feel it will be the SAME degree and closeness as your first love but I fully believe you can love and find happiness once again.
1013435
Time will ease your pain, it isn't something you can't change over night, it took me 3 years to finally forget about a past love. We shared a lot of things and to get over home it is hard, I was married for two of the three years it took me to forget about him, it is part of the normal healing process. But remember, nothing is gonna change your situation. Life doesn't stop and wait for you to live it it keeps on going, so you are only missing out. The best remedy is to keep on living. It was better to have loved and lost then to have never loved at all.
939537
i have found the best way to get over someone is to think about them as though they have died.  that way you can keep the memories you have about the good times you had with him but accept there will be no more.  stay busy and go different places and do different things than you did when you were with him.   try very hard not to see him or hear about him.  it's a cliche but time does really heal and every day gets a little easier.  don't stay home and be sad now even though no guys measure up right now.  the next one who will measure up is out there and you won't meet him while you're at home feeling sad.  and once you meet him you'll wonder what you ever saw in the guy who made you sad.  good luck!!
241247
The tools available should work for any level of loss,\nbut I expect it to take much longer, as there is so much \nfor you to deal with.\n\nKeep working with your grief and memories-\nafter the initial shock is over,\nyou can find a way to accept each individual loss and\nslowly rebuild your life.\n\nI can't imagine how difficult this must be,\nand I feel you are very strong to have gotten this far.\n\nPlease don't be afraid or ashamed to get treatmnet,\nor even medication if you need it.\nConsider it just a crutch- if you\nhad a broken foot you'd use a crutch,\nso if your brain has been overloaded \nwith strong emotion it may need help to heal.\n\nRemember the good times you had with your loved ones, \nand know that the love they had for you was not\nwasted, it has made you strong.\n\n"When you are sorrowful look into your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight." - Kahlil Gibran
1021385
It all depends on the person and the relationship between the spouse and the deceased. Some people wouldn't be ready to date again in 5 years, for some it might only take 6 months. The grief process needs to be fulfilled, though.
307907
I'm sorry for your loss.\n\nMy father died unexpectedly when I was 27. \n\nI don't remember much of the first year without my dad, other than some pretty messed-up holidays.  This is a protection mechanism. The first year is the most dreadful, because of holidays, birthdays and the awkwardness of figuring out how to celebrate something supposedly happy with the air of absence and sorrow hanging over it.\n\nWhen people initially told me in a few years it would be better, I was furious with them. I didn't want it to get better and I didn't want believe it would--a part of me felt that I would be a bad daughter if I stopped grieving. As I started healing and felt less pain...TI worried if I was grieving too little. And I thought maybe I had grieved too much, as well! Very confusing. I felt like I was doing everything wrong.\n\nBut this wasn't the case. I was grieving just right for me. And after a few years, it was still sad but not heartwrenchingly so and it kept getting a little better with each passing month. I realized that I wasn't a bad daughter. I realized that I was healing and getting on with my life and that by going on, I was, in my own way, honoring my dad. My father has been deceased for seven years now, and there are still times when it's painful, but it's not crippling or scary any more. And I remember much more of our happy times, too.\n\nPeople grieve at different rates and I feel it is wrong to try to put a timeline on healing. Our society is very timeline-based, even if those timelines don't properly apply to messy, organic processes like recovering from the loss of a loved one.\n\nIf however, you find that your grieving is truly interfering with your family, work and social life after year, you probably need some help working through your sorrow. Books, videos, chaplains or ministers or therapists are all very helpful in situations such as yours.