Why cant she watch my son if she stays home all day?
364711
There are plenty of people who want to work.  When you hired her to watch your son, did you give the days and hours?  Did she tell you then she could not watch your son on Mondays?  If she didn't, I would let her go and find a lady in her 60's who would love to watch your son, a grandmaw type who could use the money to supplement her income.
609753
Listen yes, punish them- depends on what they say, not allow them to eat lunch NO. She can not prevent your son from eating lunch.
80569
Wow I can't believe that first answer. If you guys used to have a close relationship with him, and now you don't, that is awful and heartbreaking. Obviously she doesn't want you to talk to him because you have an obvious right to really dislike her, if not worse. I would definitely try to talk to your son, and when you can, explain to him how much it hurts and that you can't understand why he is treating you like this for her. Hopefully he is just in a happy phase, will wake up and realize how dumb he is, and will then return? And dump her? I'd try that first... just don't call him 10 times a day... that can be awful...
656254
You know, I'm a firm believer that it takes a village to raise a child. If she's in your home, she MUST abide by YOUR RULES. My whole family understands that about me because I don't waiver from the rules in my house. If her mom doesn't like it, oh well. It's not unreasonable to ask a child to behave while in your home. Best of luck!\n\nMandy
836731
If she has good grades, why is she always sneaking out of the house? Is there a certain problem she is facing right now? She could be missing you or doing things that she isn't supposed to. Tell ur mom when she calls again to look for a counsel group for kids that are facing the same problem like her. I hope this helps, good luck
881951
You don't have to get back with him to get closer to her.\nCan you work and live closer to her?\n\nOver is over. SO what's the problem?\nYou will need to have faith in your child.\nFourteen is old enough to know the "right from wrong" mom!\nGet some information and offer to help by paying for a afterschool program of something.
547767
Taking her to court to enforce visitation for you will open a HUGE can of worms.  I'm not sure if you are thinking of the big picture here.  You may not be up to what she can rein down on you.  She can make up any story she wants to about you and bring you into court, dragged through the mud.  Legally, she can say whatever she wants to say about you to make it look as though you should not come within 100 feet of those kids either.  I've been there in a BIG way.  There is nothing like having your reputation as a normal, loving, upstanding person questioned.  And who is the court going to believe?  They believe her as much as they believe you.  Then you'll have to deal with a court liason running a fine toothed comb through your life and home to see if you are fit.  You've never felt so insulted and violated in your life and it's something you can scarecly recover from, even though it's for the love of a child.  I know you want to see your grandkids and I honestly believe in my heart that you will in time.  Right now, try to reason with her like a human being and appeal to her sense of compassion.  She is probably afraid that the kids will end up with your son when they are supposed to be with you and that's a normal way to feel.  I guarantee that trying to force this with her will only make things worse and make your life a living hell.  Please, for the sake of the kids, try to be patient.  It is terrible to see little ones stuck in the middle of this.  All of a sudden, they will feel as though they shouldn't trust you or they are wrong for loving you because their Mom is angry with you for forcing visitation.  They've already got mixed up feelings about not being able to see their Dad.  And then when they are with you, they'll feel guilty for loving Mom.  There is no way to win here.  I strongly suggest you wait it out.  She will cool down eventually and let you see the kids, but she has to do it in her own time.  As long as you hold your tounge and be ready the minute she says ok, you'll be rewarded.\nGod bless.
237874
I think she is smoking weed or is taking zanex and drinking!\nShe nuts!\nDont leave your son alone with her!\nLOL
792167
I firmly believe that there is nothing that you can do that will change her mind about except be patient and give your bf all the love you can.  She will either come around to liking you in her own good time, or she won't.\n\nMy thinking is that she loves her son, a lot.  That's one thing that the two of you have in common.  Maybe she's lonely and vulnerable. Maybe she's just grumpy. Turn the other cheek.\n\n Be polite, be nice, be caring, and don't take any bs from her.  Keep your self respect by acting with integrity.You can't control her actions, only your own.\n\nDon't confront her, just accept what she's like, and rise above it. She'll stop being bitchy if it doesn't affect you, and may even come to respect you because of it.  Remember that your chief loyalty in all this is to your bf, and his to you. If you're a firm unit, if you love and support each other, and make each other happy, then anyone else's opinion, no matter how hurtful, is as important as that.\n\nKeep being kind to her. She's probably feeling threatened, maybe because she senses you are "the one."  Her behaviour sounds like she's being defensive because she's afraid of losing her son. Show her that there's enough love to go around.\n\nI guess this isn't very helpful, but try and stand up for yourself in a firm, loving, respectful way.  Be yourself: give her some time: and most of all, don't let it adversely affect your relationship.
471086
Don't do anything. For whatever reasonit is she just doesn't like you and if she really doesn't have a valid reason, such as you doing something to her or her son, she just won't.  Any little thing you do OR don't do she will take it as something negative and will always have something to complain about.  Always be courteous to her and love her son dearly.  Never change trying to make her happy because you will make yourself unhappy.  Hey if her son loves you is because he likes YOU, not what his mother might want you to be.  Try to live away from her as comfortably as your boyfriend will budge to and when you guys visit just be yourself.  One of two things will happen , she'll eventually warm up to you or hate you even more. Either way don't lose your sense of self.
647972
It is time to let go. Four years has given you your answer. She'll never change even if she claims she will. She sounds paranoid to me in fact, endangering her young son. You're trying to do the right thing but it is time to realise that the right thing to do now is to divorce her, get custody of your son, move on and find another woman worthy of your trust, respect and love. Don't stick around and let her scar you even more for that's just too convenient for her to do. It is not something you want your young son to think - that his dad cannot stand up for what he thinks is right and let a woman (even if it is his mom) put him down over and over again & cheat on him. I am sorry if what I said have offended you. I know you are doing this out of love but she does not deserve it and your son deserves a better mom. She lost her right to be his mother when she did what she did. Sorry. And Good Luck to You!
732268
It sounds like what people do in life. If their #1 friend can't go, they don't stay home doing nothing, they ask someone else. It sounds more abnormal of her to sit home because of you. You might think about making different friends who do more things you are allowed to do. You'd have more fun.
919000
Moms always like to have their rules followed. When you break them, they feel that you're not listening to her and you don't care.\nStaying up till 11:30 is not that bad! So what you should do is have a serious talk with her.  Tell her how important it is for her to trust you, and that you really want to obey her. Make it up to her by spending some time together as mother and daughter.  She will soon regain trust on you if you stay on track the next time your boyfriend calls you!\nGood luck!
661867
Although I believe a child's place is with his mother, this woman doesn't deserve to have children. If I were you I would try to get full custody of the child. It is clear she will always use your son as a financial benefit for her not your son.Your son is a blessing for you, to bad for her if she can't see it. Get rid of that scumbag and devote yourself to give your child all the love that is obvious your wife can't give him.
993493
SHE MIGHT NOT MAKE IT TIL MONDAY, SHE IS 83!!!!!!...\nTELL HER YOU WILL BAIL HER OUT IF SHE LETS YOU HAVE A PARTY IN HER HOUSE THIS WEEKEND, OR ELSE SHE STAYS...
1052625
I'm in the same position you are.  I cannot STAND my hubby's ex, and the very idea of her setting foot on my property makes me crazy.\n\nThat being said, your opinion is not the important one here - it's the child's.  The 9 year old will not understand why his mommy can't come into his house, regardless of how you explain it to him.  However, it is okay to make certain rooms off limits to ALL visitors (not just mom) - and make sure he knows which ones.\n\nShe's just trying to get under your skin - and by being bothered by her actions is letting her win.  Just smile, be civil, and pretend everything is right as rain.  It'll bug the heck out of her.  Good luck!
201347
She is an important person in his life, so you can't ignore her existence. If you love him & want him to be happy, you will make an effort. Speak to her privately. Let her know how much you care for her son, and ask why she dislikes you. Explain to her that you are speaking to her about it because you want her son to be happy, & the two of you being at odds, makes things difficult for him.Try to resolve the problem.