my husband's step father is attracted to me, and has made sexual advances to me,how can i save this family
375490
I had a similar situation with a brother-in-law.  To save the family embarressment I told my husband and since then he never leaves me in the room alone with him.  Ignore the advances or if they get too bad, just say no.
591393
Is this type of behavior desirable in your future husband, the father of your children? You already know the answer by your question. So trust yourself and do what you need to do.
489389
You have every right in the world to want to be with someone else.  There is absolutely no reason at all why you shouldn't be.  If he has a problem with you having a boyfriend then that is his problem and needs to get used to the idea of there being a step daddy eventually.  You need to get the hell out from there honestly and move on with your life.  Move somewhere that you can be safe away from them.  I know that he is the father and that she is the grandmother but, YOU are the MOTHER.  That is #1 in all scenarios.  Your safety and the babies safety comes first in all this. Take YOUR child and get the hell outta dodge.
579250
Now, that you have established he is shady and going to embarrass you by tell all confessions to his relatives why do you want to have anything to do with him. Are you in line to become a hot lunch? Find somebody who is mature and won't break your heart and ruin your reputation.
631541
You should give me a call. No, seriously...it's totally normal to have this type of attraction. Talk to your husband about it. He may actually be excited by it and you could integrate him into your fantasies. If he is not okay with it, I don't think you should act on your feelings unless you get a divorce.
616168
Don't listen to constestame. Don't stay quiet about it. When I was seventeen my step dad did some pretty bad things to me. He wanted me to stay silent but I didn't. My mom chose my step dad over me and I lost the whole side of my mother's family. I loved my family so much and it tore me apart to lose them, but I'm glad that I stood up for myself rather than staying quiet. It cost me my whole family, but at least I don't have to live with the sleazy pedophile. Some people are just Fu*ked up and it has to do with power. It makes them feel bigger, but you've got to stand up for yourself. It will make you stronger. If your family doesn't stand by you, then good riddance. You will always have someone there for you as long as you have a good heart. Friends become family. You can pick your friends, but you can't pick your family. I don't know how long ago this happened, but I hope you have already reported her. Make your family aware that she has taken advantage of you.
526708
Girlfriend you are a true Christian, but come on. You are going to have to confront her and let her know that she really needs to increase her circle of friends. It is commendable that you open your heart and home for your husband's ex, for the sake of your step daughter but you have to set some boundaries...because she is totally taking advantage of you. I would take her aside and  tell her Enough is Enough! You would rather her take the responsibility of dealing with the child as a parent. While you want to be there for the child you are in essence enabling this woman to pawn of the reality of her personal responsibility off to you. She obviously knows not to engage your husband so she gets in any way she can.  Think about it.
209990
I really believe you need to talk to your Dad and Mom together.If not them then your mom and step mom. Or a counselor.Tell them how you feel. Also I don't think he really knows he's doing that to you. You are his child also. I'll say a prayer for you, and good luck!!!
862290
Sweetheart, hear me loud and clear:\nThis guy is a LOSER!! \nHe has NO respect for your friend, and is dangerous! That fact that he would bring a friend of his to make out with YOU makes him even WORSE!!! This is what leads to "date rape". Trust me on this. Please, if you have a good relationship with your father, AND you can trust him (because hopefully he is a good Dad), then TELL your father what happened! (Even if you think you will get in trouble, or you think "he won't understand"), if he is a good Dad then he'll understand A LOT MORE than you think he will!!! (He was that age too - once... ) and he knows that the ONLY guy dumb enough to act like that is the one who will eventually end up doing real damage!!  TELL YOUR DAD!! TELL SOMEONE WHO WILL HEAR WHAT YOU'RE SAYING!!! If you don't feel like you can tell your Dad, then tell a guy that you believe has YOUR best interest at heart. (Someone you think of as an older brother, or your older brother, your uncle, friend, neighbor...) but TELL SOMEONE NOW!!!\nAnd for HER sake and YOURS, don't let ANYONE make you feel like you're being stupid or like you're doing something wrong - because you're NOT!! You are SMART & BRAVE!!! I wish MORE girls were like you!!! God bless you Sweetheart!! TELL SOMEONE!!
101628
my dad feels like that with my stepdad and family freind. As long as he doesn't do anything, you can still do it, just dont tell your mom. If u dont want to lie to her, here's what i suggest:\nTry to reassure ur mom that u would never lay with him if he did anything to u, and if he did, u would let her know. \nU know, things like that... Just always reassure her....\nIf u dont feel like doing that, don't do it for a while then just lay with him anyways...\nUr not lying if she doesnt ask. The waiting and saying no would make her think that your alright....
954789
Well, I read the follow-up question (at least, I think that was you), and gave this some thought. Not that I know the answer, but here are things to consider:\n\nHow close are you to your step-sis and half-bro? Can you talk to your step-sis calmly, tell her you know she suspects you're having a relationship with her boyfriend, but you really don't find him attractive - you only tolerate him for her sake - and then, if she accepts this, ask your half-bro if she can come?\n\nIf not (or if she won't accept it, or your half-bro is determined she shall not attend), then when your step-sis asks, you tell her that you're going to your half-bro's. When your step-sis asks "what about me?" or words to that effect, you tell her "you'll have to ask our half-bro."\n\nThen you tell him, and his mom, that you know your step-sis is difficult, but you love her, and you love them all, and you aren't getting in the middle of this.\n\nThen you  back out.\n\nBecause it's up to him and his family who they invite into their grandma's house (it's technically up to his Grandma who's invited). It's also up to them to tell your step-sis why she's not invited, if they choose to do that.\n\nUnfortunately, family tensions do arise from time to time, but you can't control what other people think/do/say - so all you can do is be honest with kindness, try not to make things worse, and let people work things out for themselves. \n\nIf you get between people (for example, trying to explain to your step-sis why half-bro doesn't want her there), you'll end up building up the problem (the more people involved in a problem, the bigger it gets), and eating dirt from both sides for Thanksgiving. Good luck!
222676
Stay away from him. It will only bring trouble. Find a nice single guy. \n\nHe will never love you enough to leave his wife and family. You'll be in the unhappy position of "the other woman".
691847
Your uncle is what is called a seductionist pediophile. He victemized you. No child at the age of six has a sexual preference either way and would naturally be attracted to same sex playmates such as other boys...just as girls would gravitate toward other girls though opposite sex playmates do well together too...the issue is that children, unless introduced by visual or physical stimulous are completely unaware of the sexual biology of the body. The hormons, the genital development and the general knowledge of the purpose of those genitalia are NOT previlant. The truth is that you associate sexual pleasure and your sexuality with what your uncle did and said to you. He was an authority figure and in turn blamed you for his gross misconduct in violating for several years a young child and a member of his own family. If the sick bastard is still around I would expose him for what he is so he cannot victemize any other children and also press charges. As well, you should seek couceling further so that you can begin to heal inwardly and come to the understanding you cannot be responsible for the abuse you suffered. Sorry to get on my soap box about this but this is what I do for a living as a social worker..or did until I had children of my own and am now home with them..by which..because of all the material I've studied..my children get babysat by NO ONE else but me and their father. EVER! God bless you. Please get help. Love in Christ, ~J~  <>< P.S. God made you perfect and whole as He intended you at your birth. You were a child influenced and conditioned by the very people that should have been there to protect and nurture you. God loves you and understands..seek Him and He will guide and direct your paths beyond this circumstance and you will be better for it. Pray and study the Bible. Healing in abundance just right there.
683043
We can't answer that for you.  Your primary concern should be your daughter, so concentrate on that.  You were a witness to the event, you need to make a judgement call.  The fact that you are having doubts about his character (wondering if he's a pedophile) make me think there must be more to this story.  If you seriously think this is possible, maybe you need to end the relationship. And if you choose not to, don't you dare leave your daughter alone with him!
468693
I'd say that the best thing to do is sit down all together and try to hash this thing out.  I went through a period of really not liking my stepdad when my mom got remarried, so its a normal reaction, particularly if she was close to her mom.  But the answer is no, do not divorce your husband immediately.  The best thing to do is to try and and figure out what you can do in order to make life at least tolerable for all three of you.  I realize that yes, step-children can be a pain, i know, i was one of them, but really, its possible to work it out.  You just need to sit down between the two of them and figure it out.  And if your step-daughter refuses to engage, just acknowledge how she feels, but tell her that you're not planning on going anywhere, so it would be best for both of you to make this work.
207026
Honestly explain to him first that you feel like you're not trusted with the child and let him know how that makes you feel. If you two are in agreement then you can approach the mother in a non-threatening way and let her know that you'd like to be more involved. you are a step-parent here and should be.
459456
i was 12 when my own grandfather repeated sexually molested me while i was sleeping, i am now 31 and to this day if my husband touches me while i am sleeping i freak out, if your husbands wants to help you get past this problem you must first make him understand why you pull away. also you have to remember that your husband is not your x-brother-in-law. i would suggest that you you try counseling, on you own at first then get your husband to join you for a few sessions. a professional opinion may help both of you to be able to work pass this. I wish you all the luck in the world and always remember that the shame belongs with the x-brother-in-law, you did nothing wrong and have nothing to be ashamed of. if your parents and the rest of you family doesn't see that then they need professional help! ps....patience is the key here, for some people they rebound a lot quicker than others, for some of us it is an everyday struggle to try to over come what has happened to us!