Son wants to marry g/f recruter says he needs to wait till he comes back from bootcamp. WHY?
356792
Well, i am married (mil to mil) and if he gets married after basic training he might be a hold over, waiting for them to process all his paper before he heads to his A School. So i would tell him he might want to do it now and let the recruter do the paper filing and whatever else he needs to do. That is the recruters job, to do paper work or whatever needs to be done for your son to work for uncle sam. Dont let the recruter be lazy if he is acting lazy, it's a military thing. LOL If he gets married before boot camp then everythig will fall into place and him and his wife can be together as soon as he gets out of A School and he will have nothing to worry about other than finding a house. If you need anything feel free to e-mail me   tink41503@yahoo.com
1110767
My goodnes,it sounds like he working himself to death there.But sometimes that's what you have to do to help your family.I gather that his father isn't around?It's hard sometimes for guys in this situation.I'm sure he loves you and I'm sure he also loves his family.I could imagine that it's hard for you being away from him and I totally understand that(husbands in the Army),but you also have to make sure that you finish your schooling and take care of yourself too.Is he getting any other help with the finances?That sure is a big job taking care of four people and sounds like the pay is not that good,but then again what job does pay good these days for us regular folks?You should be supportive though even though I know it's hard for you.Is there any way that you can transfer to a school where he is at?Or is that not possible?If he is having issues from going to Iraq,maybe he should try to get some counseling,if he would ever find the time.There are just too many soldiers that come back from there that don't seek any kind of help and then one day it just sneaks up on them and that is a whole other story.I hope for your sake and his that he will exercise those options.And no,love shouldn't be that hard but as stupid as it sounds it will make your love stronger between each other.Good Luck to ya and I hope it all works out.
640862
What are the circumstances? military, school, internet, work,.....that will give a better answer.\nFirst she needs to know if it's worth it. is the guy faithful, honest, good to her,if he is then what's stopping them, if he's not them she should find someone closer
563297
I know how waiting can be.It is so annoying being in limbo. What is he trying to figure out? Why is he considering it and does not have a clear cut answer? Maybe you should ask him why he is debating coming back and then maybe that would help you decide if you want to wait or not. I know you love him but it is not fair of him to string you along and for you to have to put your life on hold while he is deciding. He should not have told you he is considering it until he was 100% certain he was coming back. I hope everything works out for you.
615369
Listen up buddy!  It is the right thing to do.  I know it comes off insensitive.  I know it sounds harsh, but you are not dooming your relationship.  You are not saying that you think your wife is gonna leave you.  \n\nUnfortunately, family court is so unfair and slanted towards the female that us men are backed in to this position now.  If you marry her and she decideds to get with your buddy, she still gets half of everything you worked for before you met her.  Is that fair?  NO!  I know your to be wife isn't gonna do that.  The fact is that if you guys are married till death do you part, she is going to obtain the benefits of whatever you are protecting anyway so why should it even matter?\n\nIf she isn't willing to accept it, I would question her motives!
449160
I'm not like miss conservative, but I don't see the harm in waiting a little bit longer to see where you two are in another month.. but it really is a personal decision.. and since you are asking here, I am guessing yuo aren't ready and he is?  Be careful, only do what YOU are willing to do without pressure from anyone.  That's very important for your self-respect.  ok?  Best of luck to you!
552362
I think you are alittle ahead of yourself.  It is much different being in boot camp and I assure you it is much difficult than you think. Just because you can do this and that in the civilian world doesn't mean nothing. Here say from other military people, a friend etc.  is just here say. Look sweetie you do not belong to yourself or your parents when you go into service...the government owns you and tells you what you can and canot do   Do more for our country by helping those less forturnate than you. Go to college or try and open up your own business. Own yourself ok?
917135
My suggestion is to wait longer.  The recruiter won't have any answers for you.  Although the unit and command try to stay on top of things, the first weeks of BCT are hectic and things like letters home are delayed.  I would say that after he's been there 2-3 weeks, you'll get your letter with his address and the graduation date and location.  Sometimes, if a class isn't full enough, they have to wait a few days at the reception station before they move onto their BCT location and unit.  Don't worry.  He's fine and they're taking good care of him.  The unit WILL contact you with all the info you need.  How often you hear from your son will depend on how busy and how tired he is.  They don't get much personal time at all.  \n\nGood luck to him and please support him in every way.
341133
Ask him waht he wants to do on R&R.  My husband was very specific on what he wanted to do.  We were in Ft Hood.  He didn't want to go back to our hometown.  He didn't want a party.  He didn't want family to come and visit.\n\nHe wanted the 2 weeks to be about him and I and our daughter.  We took off to San Antonio for a week and I saved up $3000 just so that we could be all crazy with money when he came home.  We satyed at a nice hotel that had a hot tub in th room.  Very sexy!  I wanted him to have the best 2 weeks of his life and not to think about what he was going back to.  But I made sure I talked to him first.  I didn't want to have something planned that he would hate.\n\nMost of all, just enjoy your time together.  try not to argue about things.  Have fun!!!\n\n\nOh, and I agree with Cannon...don't ask about what has been going on.  All I told my husband was that if he needed to talk, I was here for him.  I didn't press it.  And when he needed to talk, boy did he.  I wish I didn't know some of the things I know, but I think it helped him.  He had some PTSD, so watch out for that, but be patient with him.  I guess go Infantry...right?!\n\nAnyways, again...have fun!
1020209
Well I went through the same things so I can tell you EXACTLY what she have to expect to happen. He is already in the army and at his duty station, which mean that she is NOT in his orders. They can get married but they are NOT going to move her or the kids (if any) because they weren't married BEFORE he got the orders. So as far as the military is concerned, the marriage mean NOTHING. After he comes back home for good or get orders to be stationed somewhere else then its a process (About 2-3weeks) (maybe shorter or longer) to get in the DoD system) he have to go through to get his wife and the kids (if any) in the system so that they can be included in his orders next time. My husband is in the Marines and he got orders to Japan. We got married after he received his orders so i had to wait until his two year were up (which will be next month) before me and our child were included in his orders. So from next month on out me and our daughter will be able to travel with him where-ever he goes....if I can answer any more questions just let me know, cause I KNOW 1st hand!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! As far as housing goes once he is stationed at another base or whateva they an get on base housing (if available) if not he can get BHA (Basic Housing Allowance)...which will pay for them to live in civilian housing off-base. So they can get married and YES it can work out even though there is a HIGH divorce rate for the military..it all depends on them if they willing to make it work...(Its hard at times though but they just have to be strong)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
464600
I hope he asks you!!! That would be great!  I hope the best for you.  Thats so great that he likes your son too!  He probably will ask you soon... and I hope he does!  It sounds like he might.  But i understand what your saying about gettin ur hopes up.  That would suck.  SO.. if he doesnt ask... then maybe further along in ur relationship... talk to him about if he would ever marry u and maybe hint to him that ur ready to marry him. Good luck!
735460
Okay first of all you don't really get any extra money while he is in boot camp.  You don't get housing allowance.  Why don't you plan your wedding during his leave after boot camp?  Then you will have more time to plan the wedding you want.  As far as your age, marrige is hard....its hard at any age.  I married at 20 after being together almost 6 years and my husband enlisted when I was 21.  Being a military wife adds much more stress to a marrige than most cilivian marriages.  Being a military, you will learn to become very independent and you will figure out all military system as you go.  Ask questions and be a good listener and you will do well as a military spouse.  Oh, and we have been happily married for 5 years now and going through our 2nd depolyment!    Good luck!
880084
I assume that he's there for basic training.  I went to basic at Ft. Sill OK about 3 years ago now and I can tell you this.  SEND MANY MANY MANY LETTERS!!!!  My mom sent me at least a card or a note or something every single day.  I'm sure some other people that read this will make their comments about that, but I will tell you what, it is very very motivating and comforting to know that your family is thinking about you and cares for you.  Mail call was probably my favorite part of the day every single day.  You should hear from him soon.  maybe not by phone for awhile, but more than likely at least a letter with his address.  As I recall we didn't get phone privliges until about our 2nd or 3rd week.  He will also spend a few days at a reception battalion before he acctually starts basic.  he might get a few minutes to talk while there.  his phone calls will more than likely be very very short as there is normally very few phones for many many people to use.  God Bless your family and your son!  I hope this helps at least a little.  If you have any other quesions, feel free to e-mail me!
1149120
As a marine wife and someone who has been affiliated with the military all her life (Navy brat and former Navy sailor), you have to be outgoing and opinionated!  You can't have him telling you what you think and how to do things.  Not only is that chauvinistic but what happens when he's on a 14 month deployment and  you haven't talked to him in a week, if you don't have opinions on how to take care of your family or home, you're screwed.  You also need to be outgoing to make friends.  Marines are gone alot and we need a support system for those times.  If he's looking for some weak-willed yes-girl, then forget him.
1072449
tell him exactly what you just said, i see no offense in that. and as a compromise, just tell him that you are willing to live close to her, so he can check up on her as often as he wants to. but i think that especially as newlyweds, you will need your time alone. best of luck. and by the way, most guys are mommas boys (im one too) so dont expect him to let go of his mother, i doubt that will happen, but you should see the good in that. because most guys that love and respect their mothers, tend to treat their wives the same way.
731410
Why don't you wait until you have a RING and are ready to marry her.\n\nI am saying this because it is hard on the CHILD to be tossed from home to home. The kid needs stability, and until you BOTH KNOW this is a forever arrangement, the child should NOT be exposed to this situation just for your convenience.
307369
He wants to make sure that everyone knows that you are WAY off the market.  He has made a very small commitment, but if your not planning on marrying him I would cut and run.  He sounds somewhat controlling, but it could just be that ya'll are young and tenatious.