what should i do because my bf is being abused by his own parents?
375771
I'vce worked for the social services so have heard alot of stories like this.  If you are really worried and he is young, then you could call a confidential helpline and ask for advice.\n\nI don't know how old you guys are, but the trouble is if he's suffered it for so long he'll see it as ok and normal, and not realise that it is wrong, also he probably loves them too much to leave no matter what they have done to him and not want to leave, it's a really sad thing to see someone you love go through this.\n\nTry and get him away from the environment as often as possible or get him to spend time with you and your parents maybe so he knows what a home should be like and he might think more clearly.\n\nAt the ene of the day though he has to make the decision himself, all you can do is support him and wait for him to make the decision, as eventually i hope he will and he'll have to press charges or report it if that's what he chooses to do.  But if you can confide in your parents then do so, at least discuss it with them because these situations can just go from bad to worse.\n\nBut even if he gets angry with you for getting involved, you could be potentially saving his life, but seriously seek advice from yr parents or a professional before you do anything, and as soon as possible.\n\nGood Luck
285768
Do not stay in any relationship that is not healthy. ABUSE WILL ESCALATE, WHETHER IT BE VERBALLY OR PHYSICALLY. You are a worthy person and deserve the up most respect. Talk to a close friend that you trust or your parents. BELIEVE IN YOURSELF, YOU ARE A SPECIAL PERSON!!!
959014
You need to get help from Family and Children Services, they can help you with finishing your education, find daycare for your child and help you get on your feet and get away from this abusive situation with your father. They are in the Phone Book.
1181454
SERIOUSLY, GET HELP NOW AND GET OUT WHILE YOU CAN. THIS IS CALLED ABUSE, AND HE IS OBVIOUSLY AN ABUSER. YOU DO NOT HAVE TO LIVE WITH THIS. YOU'RE WORTH MORE THAN THAT. GET OUT, GET HELP, GET ON WITH YOUR LIFE. I BEEN THERE DONE THAT, AND I SPENT SIX YEARS WITH AN ABUSER. AT FIRST IT IS ONLY WORDS. THEN IT'S SLAPS, AND THEN BEATINGS. IF YOU STAY, YOU WILL END UP SERIOUSLY HURT OR DEAD. THERE IS LIFE OUTSIDE OF HIM, & YOU SHOULD GET TO IT. I KNOW IT SOUNDS LAME, BUT GET COUNSELING IMMEDIATELY. FRIENDS, FAMILY, WHOEVER. I LOST SIX YEARS OF MY LIFE TO A LOSER. HE HAD ME TOTALLY CONVINCED THAT NO ONE ELSE WOULD EVER WANT ME AND I DESERVED EVERYTHING THAT I GOT. I HAD NO SELF ESTEEM AND NO SELF RESPECT. I LOST ALL MY FRIENDS AND MOST OF MY FAMILY BECAUSE OF THAT LOSER. THE ONLY THING THAT OPENED MY EYES AND SAVED MY LIFE WAS GETTING PREGNANT, AND REALIZING THAT I DID NOT WANT MY CHILD TO LIVE WITH HIM TELLING HER THAT SHE WASNT GOOD ENOUGH, & HIM BEATING ON HER & EVENTUALLY LOSING MINE OR HER OR BOTH OF OUR LIVES  BECAUSE HE JUST WENT "A LITTLE TOO FAR" WITH THE BEATINGS ONE DAY. PLEASE TRUST ME ON THIS ONE. GET OUT NOW WHILE YOU CAN. THERE IS NO REASON ON EARTH FOR YOU TO HAVE TO PUT UP WITH THAT. PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE GET HELP & GET OUT. YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE THAT CAN HELP YOURSELF, AND IN THE LONG RUN, IT WILL BE WELL WORTH IT. DON'T BE STUPID & WAIT LIKE I DID.
1047888
Child of God, you have to stop him, and you need help to do that.\n\nGo to someone that you TRUST who will BELIEVE you, because you need support from an adult.  You may be hesitant to talk to the police or a teacher at first about something so private.  Do any of your close friends have parents they can talk with?  That might be a supportive environment for you to start to get help.\n\nThe important thing to remember is that no matter how hard it is to talk about, or what other people's reaction might be -- it will be much worse for you if this situation continues.\n\nMay God bless you and watch over you, and guide you to the person / people who can help you.
950778
ok - first of all he needs to be in treatment if he isn't.  if he doesn't start getting help - leave him.  and when he tells you he'll kill himself if you do - tell his parents that you are breaking up with him and he is threatening suicide.  i spent years dealing with people with BPD - they can be the most engaging and the most infuriating people you will ever meet.  take care of you.  you need to protect you.  borderlines will suck you dry and leave you an emotional wreck.  you might also want to see a counselor and deal with this in there.  you are right - with borderlines you are either good or bad and if they continue to manipulate with their threats and emotional drama - you will be the loser.  not them.
438450
Well there are a couple ways to take care of it. If he lives with you, you can force him to move out (call the police if necessary). If you live with him, then you should move. If he hits you, then you should file charges on him and get a restraining order. Abusers were usually abused as a child so they don't see what they do as wrong. If he is young enough, some success has been found through drastic counseling measures. Maury Povich and Montel both have done the shock treatment on men like that. Taking them to see women in morgues who were abused to the point of death. If he loves you then he would stop. But you deserve much better. No woman deserves to be physically, verbally, emoptionally, or mentally abused. My advice is to send him to jail for awhile to see if he changes his ways.
1013896
OK lizzie as long as you love each other you're parents are going to have to  deal with it, and you guys need to tell them that (in a respectful way of course) that is so gooooood that youre waiting til you get out of school. but any ways let youre and his parents know that you guys are willing to take youre relationship to the very top and youre going to need their support , if they love you guys which im sure they do their going to to be happy about this because it makes you two happy.\ncongradulations , i wish you guys the best
1118560
He is your father and you would need to make the decision if you want him in your life. Please make sure that if he does hurt you again in any way that you call the police. It is never alright for him to put his hands on you in anger....
1153493
Absolutely NO ONE deserves to be abused, no matter what the abuser says. Get out ASAP before things get much worse. Go to a shelter. Go to your parents, if you can. Go to a friends place, if you can. Go to your church, if you go to one. If there are kids involved, take them to the shelter with you because without you there, he could abuse them in your place and blame them for you leaving. There are always ways to get out, with or without money. There is NO excuse good enough to stay in a relationship where there is abuse. I know. I have been in that situation.
191277
well talk to them to find out why u r in trouble then pray that God gives you the ability to continue to respect your parents.they are there to help and protect you so please make it easier by listening and trying to understand what they are saying. it will come in handy when you strike out on your own.my mom & dad were the meanest parents in the world. and i thank them for it thier disipline & love is what made me the person my husband fell in love with. if i can be even half the person my mom is i will be lucky.
76582
I say you are now in a civilised country.. whilst parents are important the world over, you are the one that has to live with him, have sex with him, have children with him. Sounds to me that you need to marry your parents if you are so concerned
934475
There are a lot of answers that say call the cops, and by all means do so!!! Sometimes though they won't do a damn thing about it, he will probably become enraged and the abuse will get worse. If this is the case pack what you need and move out when he's gone somewhere. I know of a neighbor of mine that did just that. She moved form here to somewhere back east while her abusive hubby was at work. \nGood Luck!!!!
329739
Diana..this is what i think u should do..sit down and talk to him about the way he treats u..tell him first about the good things that u love about him..but then tell him that he needs to trust u when u go out with your friends or if u just go out by yourself..(shopping or grabbing a bite to eat)..tell him in a kind way that if he keeps this up..u won't put up with it cause u want him to be part of your life and not your whole life..if it gets messy where he does hit u....stand up for yourself and have him arrested then gey a restraining order on him..its that simple sweety....please please don't be one of those gals that end up in a abuses relationship...
932181
You need to tell your dad all of what you've written here and then your mom and her gf need to be investigated by child welfare.  You're a child and shouldn't have to take the responsibility of protecting your sisters -- that's your dad's job but he can't do what is right if he doesn't know what is going on.\n\nADDITIONAL THOUGHTS:\n\nWhy have criminal charges not been brought against those who perpetrated abuse against you?\n\nIf you have already reported this to the police and child welfare and your sister's deny that anything is happening, then there is very little you can do.  At some point your sisters may get fed up with the abuse and report it themselves.   All you can do is let them know that should they need you and Dad in the future, that you'll be there for them.  But no, I don't think you should stay home from college to protect them especially if they don't want your protection.
363485
Well first of all, his mother isn't the one controlling his feelings. \n\nIf you love him and really care for him then your best bet is to talk with him about whats going on. Ask him if he does care about you! \n\nDepending on your age and his age, its hard to say whether this will work or not because if you're young, it will be hard to see one another without the parents but if you're older... you can definitely still see each other, who's stopping you!? No one! Go with your heart and tell him to do the same. GOOD LUCK!
880510
To begin you need to get rid of your bf, if he loved you he would never hurt you in anyway (especially physically). You mentioned that he spits in your face, that is the lowest for of degradation, that further proves that he doesn't respect you sweetie. Get rid of him. You need to sit your Mother down and explain to her calmly what happened with your stepfather. If she chooses not to believe you then that is her being blind. A mother is supposed to protect her daughter. Listen there is a lot more to tell you. If you feel comfortable send me and instant message. I will respond and I will help you get through this. I hope to hear from you. BE SAFE!!!!!!!!!!! LUV YA BYE!