Any recently divorce people willing to chat about the experience?
370024
Dress for success and be very honest, documentation , to support you arguments,look judge directly in eye, when answering questions or addressing the court,try not to be emotional
3077
just go along w/it.my parents are divorced and i just made a schedule to see both parents and it works fine. you get used to it after awhile.
267915
I don't think there is any easy way to adjust and go through a divorce without some questions, hurt, anger and thinking you are a total failure for not being able to save a marriage. Just pray a lot....Nicole
1044045
It happened...  Ulitmately we got divorced...
386154
Have you talked to him about reconciliation through some type of therapy through your church. I have been divorced, and would have preferred reconciliation, but never even talked about it to my ex-wife. She pursued the divorce at first, and I never fought at all, what a mistake. He might have lost that loving feeling, but that is part of life. It will return, given time. and it will be better than before.
1145955
I had to think one this one for awhile, since so many bizzare things occur often.\n\nI would have to say that one of my most bizzare experiences ever was being stalked and sexually harrassed by my ex-stepfather.  \nLet me explain:\nI never lived with him.  I lived with my father when my mom remarried.  Their relationship, including marriage lasted about 3 years.\nAwhile after the divorce, I started getting prank calls where there were weird background noices and sexual noises like moans and like this person was pleasing himself.  This went on and off for five years. \nWell it seemed to stop for about 6 months after I got caller ID, in my area.  So, I wondered if this person lived in my town.  I thought that must be the reason they had stopped calling and felt confident that it had finally ended.\nBut.....then I received a call from the same person--the same background noises but THis TIME--he actually spoke and this frightend me.  I was all alone--my dad was in the nursing home and I lived there alone for the time being.  He told me that he wanted to Fck me and laughed--he whispered it, so I really could not identify the voice.  \nThis contined to go on throughout the year, even when my dad returned home.  He even called my dad when I was gone and did not give his name and acted like he was one of my guy friends--asking where I was and things like that.  My dad was smart enought to know that this person was not my friend and he figured it was my stalker.  So he hung up the phone, just as I walked in the door.  Okay, at this point, I need to mention that I had previously gotten law enforcement involved and had got a trace put on my phone.  I freaked out when they told me his name--it was my step father.  oooooooo!!!! Yuck!!!\nMy dad did not have long to live, so I never told him who this person was, because I did not want him to worry.  I played it off like it was no big deal.  So everytime he called, I contacted the phone company to trace the call.  The county attorney supeoned his phone records and yes it showed my number often.  So I had proof.  His conversations got more explicit.  He told me that I looked good and that he WAS going to fck me,,etc...\nSo, I had finally had enough and was frustrated because the attorney did not want to take it to court.  He kept putting it off --for over a year.  It took that long to get to court.  I pushed the issue and told the police of my complaints against the attornery. One of the local deputies sat in on my consultation with the attorney after that and my attorney insulted me infront of the cop and even through my papers on the floor and said that he had even lost the call logs and everything.  Well, the police and my protest put a fire up his AS* and finally was taken seriously.  \nI got the Women's Crisis Center involved and this helped me a lot.  She prepped me and told me my rights and how to get the lawyer to present my case.  I even had a friend as a witness to one of the calls--she overheard it--and she testified.  He plead innocent initially, however his attorney convinced him otherwise, after knowing I had enough evidence against him.  He wanted a plea bargain.  I contested in court and his attorney made fun of me infront of the judge and said "Well this person wants to play perry mason so I guess we will have to go tor a trial.  A date was set and I was so excited---I wanted to see him go down, for disrespecting me--emotionally and I did not want him to get away with this.  What a Pervert!!!  Well, he plead guilty and even took the stand against the advice of his attorney.  My attorney got him to admit that he had called numerous times for the past years--up to seven.. and he said he knew that it was wrong--he said he did it because of what my mom did to him and that his anger would take him to the grave.  Well, the judge asked what I wanted from the court--and I did what my attorney and Crisis worker said that would be taken seriously and plausible.  The judge gran
229066
My opinion would be: start to once again see your ex. But on a "haven't seen you in years so what's up" type of seeing him. Get to know him once again. Maybe even do some volunteering that you can do with bringing you child (if their old enough, have them help out too). Invite your ex to come & volunteer too. While volunteering you can see what he's like around people he doesn't know and in an environment he's not used to. Plus you can see how he acts around your kid & if your kid likes him (most important). \n\nAfter everything has had time to "settle" and you know if you could have another relationship (after going over everything that you have noticed and if your kid likes him), then you can contemplate whether or not if you'd want to be with him. If it's mutual with you both, then that's when I would bring up the point with your current husband. Talk to him about you & him only (don't bring up your ex AT ALL). From his answers and reactions to what you're telling him (with you saying he's becoming to controlling), then you can decide if you should get a divorce. If that does occur, then you will have your ex that you can go back to. He will be there for both you and your kid. Plus if a divorce does occur, and everything works out, then you can get married. \n\nWouldn't know, but maybe when you talk to your husband have some friends &/or family with you too. For many reasons such as support, their side of the story, and if anything happens...hopefully not (DON'T have your kid there. have them with say your mom, out for the day)\n\nIf your husband does find out about you seeing your ex, he can’t accuse you of cheating, if you spend time volunteering with your kid, or participate in events that you work with other people, but also work with your ex too. So you truly won’t be cheating\n\nHope whatever happens, everything works out!!
100137
It took ten years for my poor poor heart to mend after I divorced my husband of 13 years b/c he had a baby with an aquaitance of mine and I felt sorry for her not being married and all gave her a baby shower and gave her all my childs things (i did not know it was his child til later). It just takes time. I dove into my work and made new friends (seeing as how all my old friends knew it was his child and did not tell me) and spent some quality time with myself. I got to know me really well and decided I really liked the new me. Just give yourself time to heal and get involved with work and friends. It does help. Oh and try not to drown your sorrows in alchol and drugs. I tried that I lost everything I had AGAIN and had to start over. Good luck to you and try and hang in there the world has a lot to offer if you will just stop and look around. I am happily married now to a wonderful and caring man that adores me! I am living proof that your heart can and will mend. I may stil be cracked but it will heal.
251429
First marriage I knew him several years, then I dated him for about a year, then he proposed. HE cheated 3 months after we were married (maybe sooner) and continued to cheat for 3 years before I gave him the boot...It took a year to get the divorce back then...I would have left him sooner, but my family kept saying things would get better. After he gave me an STD (thank God it was something that could be cured), I divorced him! Stupid that I stayed with him for so long, it was like gambling with my life! I was miserable and I really began to hate him and the sight of him. In the end he beat me up and I made sure it the divorce was as nasty as I could make it.\n\nThen 14 years later I met a nice man on the Internet, I had said I would never get married again. Never say never...we "dated" online for about a year, (this was back in 1995-1996, we had a private chat program called PowWow, and we chatted EVERY night, then talked on the phone to say "goodnight". \n\nHe was in the Northern US, and I was in the South. He proposed online, sent me a picture of the rings and asked me if I would consider moving up North to share his life, and be his wife and partner. I said "Yes".\n\nIn November, we will have been married for 10 years, and aside from some health difficulties, it's been a very good marriage! He's my best friend, and we did not even have to go through a bunch of head games while dating. I was honest with him when we chatted, and I feel that he has always been honest with me. I was on the high side of my 30s and he was about 5 years older than me. \n\nIt really freaked my friends out, when I suddenly dropped out of my usual routines to spend time chatting with my online boyfriend.  All of my friends said that I was crazy, he might be an ax murderer, and all kinds of wild things!  When he came down South, we met, and the very next day we eloped! VERY ROMANTIC, and I remember when I signed the marriage license my hand was shaking and so was his! \n\nWe both took a BIG leap of faith, and I feel like God blessed us! Things could have turned out so differently! I say it depends on the people in the relationship and what they want in life, and what they may have experienced in the past. I met some real nice men between husband #1 and my husband now. I just was not ready to trust my heart to anyone else so completely. Two of them proposed to me, but I eventually broke off the relationships because I had issues with trusting them. A cheating spouse can make a person very suspicious and cause them to sabatage future relationships because they are suspicious. After my experiences, I say, I believe in love. I have learned that there are some good loyal and truthful men in this world, and you never know when you may meet the right man for you!\n\nIf it's worth having, give it time. I would have continued the Internet relationship longer if things had not developed as they did. I think I knew that he was a "keeper", and if he had waited longer to propose, I would have waited for him. Don't ask me how, but I fell in love with a man that I could not even touch! We typed so much that I typed the letters off of two keyboards. :D\n\nGood luck, and may God bless you and your future too!\nruthie~
402133
Go to a chat room for divorced people who are in there 50's and just start chating. You may meet the man of your dreams. Good luck.
370458
There are many support groups out there for people going through divorces. Where do you live? It would help to know your geographic area.\n\nMeanwhile, here are some links that will help:\n\nhttp://ministryhealth.net/mh_articles/349_support_group_transformation.html\n\nhttp://www.independenttribune.com/servlet/Satellite?pagename=CIT/MGArticle/CIT_BasicArticle&c=MGArticle&cid=1137834680403\n\nhttp://www.singlesorganizations.com/organizations.html
372710
I'm confused. Divorce was discussed on Saturday. Today is\nMonday. Were you in Divorce Court this morning, finalizing\nthe Decree? Are you a part of that group that says three\ntimes, "I Divorce You", and then you're divorced? You are\nnot divorced yet. Are you? Is this the way it is today?\nSay divorce once and it's over? Are you absolutely sure\nthat you're getting divorced? Could this just be a Fight,\nQuarrel, Spat, Disagreement, Bluff,Etc.?                  \n   Ask yourself, "What kind of man was he Friday, that he\nwould leave on Saturday, (he did leave, right?), after\nvowing eternal togetherness? There's something wrong with\nthis picture. Stop. Think. Can this be real? Don't invite\nreal pain in, if this isn't real. Can this man be the type\nof man that would do this to you? Could he do this to his\nchildren? If he is just that type of man, why would want to\nstay? If all of this is real, you will have to endure the\npain for awhile. How long and how painful, will be of your\nown design. If you have real, loving friends and family, it\nshould be easier. Seek the care of the good people you know.\nBut. Be sure that the sky is really falling, before you\nget yourself all lathered up. This could be a temporary\ncondition brought on by who knows what. It could be that\nyour man is a good man, and he's having troubled thoughts.\nGet professional help if possible. Or seek the wisdom of\nthe wise. God Bless You and your Family.\n  P.S. I kissed my Grandmother good-bye last week, and a\nclose friend Friday. It does get better.
180683
After 18 months of seperation is when my divorce became final, but I knew it was the right thing when he said "if I can't sleep with you, I might as well go sleep with her." Best worst day of my life. \n\nHere's the thing, if you have any contact and or children, it's a good thing to work hard on trying to find your way back to the good times. If you don't have contact, and no one even wants to make an effort to work things thru, it's time to let it go and get a divorce. \n\nIt sucks, I know. But I am so happy now. I have a loving relationship that gets better and better every day I'm in it. Things were so not that way with my ex. It's not that I never fight with my current mate, it's just the arguments are rare and get resolved. \n\nWhatever happens, learn to love and respect yourself. Maybe you made a mistake with marriage. That's all it might be, a mistake. Learn from it and go on and be happy.
1115322
I divorced through an on line service.  I recommend it only if you and your ex can negotiate a settlement amicably.  If there is any disagreement on the division of assets or parenting and custody plans then it is better to use a mediation service or lawyers.  We were able to work it all out and it did not take much time and we did not have to go to court.  The cost as I recall was about $400.  My state is a no fault state.  I don't know about yours.
820856
I don't want to be critical, but I want to be honest in my answer.\n\nI had this same fear after my 2nd marriage ended.  Thank goodness I had a dear friend who saw what I was experiencing and helped me rebuild my self-esteem and helped me "find myself".  I realized that I was not happy with myself and that I needed to be before I got involved again.  This was not a quick process.  And it was a lonely one.  But I thank God every day that I went through it.  When I quit looking and found out that I actually liked myself, I found a great guy.  He and I are no longer together, but I found that I am a complete person without a man.  This has given me a whole new perspective on life and relationships.  Since then, I have met and dated a much higher quality of men.  The man I'm seeing now is a wonderful and thoughtful man who is a good father and is concerned about the people around him.  This is want I wanted and what found me.\n\nI hope my experience can help!
979678
Poor baby.  I do understand.  Been there.\n\nI have a couple of things to offer you.\n\nFirst, you might be depressed.  Check into the possibility of taking some medication for a while.  I had to take Zoloft for 3 months.  It did get me kind of over the hump so that I could stop crying and sleep and eat.  \n\nInvest in YOU... this is a time for you to look inward and grow.  Do something you have always wanted to do.. work out, learn to cook, a foreign language, ball room dance, something you have always wanted to doooo DO it!!!\n\nAnd, I sought help from a divorce support group.  I went to Divorce Care for a few months.  It was really helpful in learning about what I was going through and also they were soo sweet and supportive.  I also went to a few singles meetings.\n\nIt takes time... everyone is different.  It took me almost 3 years to fianally get to where I don't have that anger and saddness.... \n\nBut one thing is for sure, I am AM happier now than I ever thought possible, and I have found a man who loves me more than my ex ever ever did and it feels good.\n\nAnd, I am stronger than I ever felt possible.  In retrospect, it was a gift!  What I thought was the worst thing in the universe and it did nearly kill me, ultimately made my life so much better.  Hard to believe, but true.\n\nGood luck, dear
131555
I think it's a great idea!  My husband and I were married for 8 years, divorced for 7.  We had 3 kids. During our divorce, he remarried, had another child.  When their marraige failed (we all knew it would), he came back to me.  We remarried.  We are now expecting our last child.  \n\nInitially, we got married very young.  We were both selfish and immature!  The time apart during our divorce enabled the both of us to mature!  We have come back into this relationship with a more mature attitude ... knowing what we both want from this relationship!  Our kids are much happier, and so are we!\n\nI say don't be afraid of it.  The best part is that you already know him ... you know his good points and bad points, and hopefully you are both more capable of dealing with the adversities in marriage than you were before.\n\nToo many people want to look at the downside of divorce and say not to give it another chance .... I say divorce was the best thing to ever happen to my marriage.