a guy walks into a bar with a newt, the barman asks what is its name, hes says tiny, why?
374192
coz he's my newt....(minute)\n\nNice one....
568465
An ion enters a bar and and orders a drink. The ion says "how much?" The bartender replies "for you, no charge"
384223
I was at a bar once, and no one was talking to me 'cuz I just did a show, and I ran into a guy, and instead of saying "Excuse me" he said, "Move." I thought that was rude so I said, "Go to hell," then I started to run. He caught me, though. He had on a mustache, a goatee, a pair of earrings, a lip ring, two eyebrow piercings, a pair of sunglasses, a pony-tail, and he was wearing a hat. He said, "Hey, man, you got a lot of nerve," and then I said "Hey, man, you have a lot of... cranial accessories." [crowd laughs] You guys are a smart crowd. When I do the dumber crowds, I have to say, "Hey, man, you got a lot of shit on your head!"
83235
so this irishman walks past a bar...get it?
1067001
A man is like a child with a candy bar. The child has his candy bar, but, looks at other candy bars, and wonders if he has the wrong one.\nJust like men.\nLOL
473587
a horse walks into a bar.  the bartender says "hey bu.. bu... bu... hey bu... bu... buddy, why th... th... th... th... the long fuh fuh face?"\n\nwow, what a terrific audience!
981509
frog\n\nits a small green thing.I like it, because it so well represents a small green amphibian.
869749
nothing!...it's non-sense...something like "Oh look at him! He's an attractive frog-man" (!?!?!?)...but that's after doing a bit of interpreting since the grammar is all scr*wed up!
15747
maybe hes trying to be nice and quench his friends thirst. i dont know...lol.
476514
Man and Woman in a bar..\nMan:"can I buy you a drink?"\nWoman:"No thank you,alcohol is bad for my legs"\nMan:"Sorry to hear that...do they swell?"\nWoman:"No,they open."
604423
A blind man enters a Ladies Bar by mistake. He finds his way to a barstool and orders a drink. After sitting there for\nawhile,\nhe yells to the bartender, "Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?"\nThe bar immediately falls absolutely quiet. In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, "Before you tell that\njoke,\nsir, I think it is just fair - giving that you are blind - that you should know five things: 1 - The bartender is a blonde girl.\n2 - The bouncer is a blonde girl.\n3 - I'm a 6 feet tall, 160 LB. Blonde woman with a black belt in karate.\n4 - The woman sitting next to me is blonde and is a professional weightlifter.\n5 - The lady to your right is a blonde and is a professional wrestler.\nNow think about it seriously, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?the blind man thinks for a second, shakes his head, and declares, "Nah, Not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."
291384
that his package is small lol
384539
ITS CALLED A PENIS YOU DUMBASS\nIT HAS PUBIC HAIR AS WELL\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n8===============D~~~Shorty
1163867
he looks like a lizard lol
77208
their baby..\n\ncos he's a little bigger ;)
186722
A blind man walks into a bar with his dog and grabs the dog by the collar and starts swinging him around over his head. \nThe bartender says "woah buddy what are you doing?"\nThe blind man says "Just taking a look around"
666981
A little duck waddles into a bar. He waddles up to the bar, flies up onto the bar and yells to the bartender, "HEY!"\nThe bartender is perturbed but he sneers out "Whaddaya want?"\nThe little duck asks, "Hey man, you got any duck food?"\nThe bartender gets mad and tells the little duck, "Hell no I ain't got no duck food. This is a people bar. Now, hop your little white ass off my bar and leave. I never want to see you in here again."\nThe little duck says "Thanks", hops down off the bar and waddles out.\nThe next day, that same little duck waddles into that same bar. He waddles up to the bar, flies up onto it and yells to the bartender "HEY!"\nThe bartender sees him and gets immediately irate.\n"Whaddaya want now?" growls the bartender.\n"Hey man, you got any duck food?" The little duck asks nicely.\nThis further enrages the bartender to the point that he grabs the little duck around the neck and lifts him off the bar.\n"I done told you once, this is a people bar and we ain't got no duck food. Now, get out of here and don't come back because the next time I see you in here I'm gonna nail those flat-ass orange feet of yours to this bar, got it?"\nThe little ducks nods and the bartender lets him go. He hops down off the bar and waddles out, shaking his head.\nThe next day that same little white duck waddles back into the bar. He flies up onto the bar, looks at the bartender and yells "HEY!"\nThe bartender sees him and grins. "What'd I tell you I was gonna do to you next time I saw you in here?" He starts walking toward the duck.\nThe little duck asks very quickly, "Hey man, you got any nails?"\nThe bartender stops short with a confused look on his face. "Hell no, I ain't got no nails."\n"Well then," drawls the little duck, "got any duck food?"