so... my boyfriend has borderline personality disorder.....?
375446
My ex-husband had BPD and the only thing that helps is to get away from that person forever.  They have good qualities, and they love so deeply, but they have so many issues it's just impossible to stay together.  People like this don't change.  It's only going to get worse.  Get out of the relationship as soon as you can.  There's someone nice out there waiting for you.
193243
How can you say that he is not abusive!?! Wake-up girl and stop trying to fix this jerk!!! He is not Bi-polar he is an a** and you picked him and kept him for quite some time. Worry about you and figure out why you chose a guy like him so you don't end up with the same guy in a different pair of pants!
753937
How long have you been together, and living together?  Did this just start, or has it been an ongoing problem?  I would ask him what's going on and suggest counseling if it's bad enough to start affecting your everyday lives!  Good luck!
105783
sure sounds like a drinking problem's probably the 'real' problem. He sounds inhibited, and the drinking at least for a time lowers his fears, nervousness, insecurity, inhibition, guilt or whatever levels ... addictive behavior...do you honestly believe that your honest feelings are at fault? Sounds difficult, complicated...and, perhaps, getting worse. Whether he's having 'commitment phobias' or just expecting you to do as he says, or whatever he's perhaps not discussing, he sounds 'out of control', but he wants to 'be in charge'...something in him might be feeling ashamed, low self-esteem/image, and, he's demanding that you follow his routine, with implied not much room for spontaneity, let alone you feeling love(-d), safe (at peace, unperturbed) and valued -- but, how can he value you, if he's troubled about who he is -- or, why else drink/escape, and then try to use sex with such timing, like drunk clockwork. It sounds like your feelings are good, clear, trying to communicate...your feelings are innocent, your true companions/guides...BEST WISHES...in finding (out) your way(-s)
746315
It depends.  There are many variations of BPD. \n\nThe fact that you accept you have BPD makes it highly more likely that you can work your way to a functional and consistent relationship, but it will take therapy, and a very understanding partner.\n\nI was in a nearly 9 year marriage with a severe BPD, who had issues with abandonment, trust, self-esteem, etc., but the big barrier was that she did not accept that there was anything wrong with her.  That's why BPDs are so hard to treat, because their self-esteem is often so low that they can't accept there's a problem with them, because that's an attack on what little self-esteem they have left.\n\nAs I said, the fact that you acknowledge you have issues that could be a problem puts you way ahead of the pack.  Everyone has issues of some kind, but BPD issues usually keep BPDs from accepting help.\n\nSo, yes, if you are willing to work on it, you can get there.  Hope for the best and keep trying.
820968
Well, first of all I commend you for understanding your wife's problem,  I've worked with people with Borderline Personality Disorder and it does keep you on your toes.  One of the significant symptoms that I know of with this condition is the ability to create chaos out of order.  It can be very stressful for those around the person who has it.\n\nMy advice is for you to get into counseling first so you have a safe place to vent your feelings and learn how to best deal with the drama your wife creates.  You cannot force your wife into treatment but maybe with gentle coaxing and acceptance, she may decide she wants help too.  Good luck!
527694
If it’s a serious mental illness (bi-polar, schizophrenia, psychosis, etc) then the person needs to recognise that they have a problem, and seek professional help. Otherwise it could be quite dangerous for both of you, especially if you’re living together. You may get seriously hurt or worse, without them realising what they’re doing at the time.\nMany of these disorders can be treated with medication these days.\n\nIf they’re just obsessive over the fact that their ego has been damaged, tell them to grow up, and if necessary, you can always seek professional legal advice.\n\nAnyone in a violent or emotionally abusive relationship, male or female, should leave.\n\nWhat to expect…\nAfter you’ve left, they’ll tell you they’ve changed, things will be different, they ‘understand’ now, can see where they were wrong, and it’ll never happen again...\nlet’s root. \nCategorise all that with ‘the cheques in the mail’. \nExcept for the root, which isn’t going to be worth the hassles anyway, so forget it.\n\nDon’t listen to your heart because it’s ‘rationally challenged’ and pre-programmed to override the brain. It’s a retarded instrument devoid of sound logic or reasoning… but they’d make an ideal aquarium pump.\nYour brain will tell you what’s right… that leopards don’t change their spots and if you don’t make the break, you’ll be stuck in an endless loop. \n(“do a I say, not as I do”:)\n\nSo be on your own for a while and see how much less miserable you are. It’s better than having someone use you as a punching bag or making themself feel great in comparison to how lousy they can make you feel.\nSingle and celibate is cool, you don’t need anyone.
478487
I would be P.O.ed in the worst way.  What was he thinking?  I'd give some serious consideration to what he's done.  How many other things has he concealed from you?  Doesn't he know that behavior like that shows disrepectfulness for your relationship?  Clamp down on that now!
986512
You're going to need professional counseling. It sounds like he has lost motivation in the relationship and the underlying cause may be hard to find without a counselor's help.
1051285
.this is a serious problem , you address the problem, then  you  use another negative to try to rationalize it. you know in your heart this person better than all of us. there is a pattern with a  person  with a  addictive personality disorder. and there is a 70% chance it will happen again. if he cares for you and himself!he would  be wise to seek help and treatment for it. it is a up hill battle .remember he made the problem, not you.
1092040
Maybe instead of trying to blame it on a disorder...talk to him and try and figure out what is going on.  It is amazing the effects of talking and openess and dealing with problems can have on a person.\nOh...and if anyone says it is bipolar and/or manic depression...it is not because the highs and lows are not that quick...one extreme can be going for months at a time before it changes to the other.\nGood luck....TALK :)
394297
I think there might be some mental disturbance. Both of you need to see doctors, it happens sometimes in such relationships, as you would admit its kinda different then normal. More over are you sure you are completely healthy?
326603
Honestly just give him time. He needs to learn that he can trust you and the only way hes going to do that is by spending time with you. Eventually he will realize you're not trying to hurt him. Do fun things together like playing sports or going camping. Talking about it will always help. LEt him know that you're there to listen and will do anything he needs. but if this presist for more than a few months then id tell him to see a doctor because he prolly has a chemical inbalance.
356939
Get away from him. \nNow. These are giant red flags that he is not a stable person. \ndont let him guilt you into staying with him, he's counting on that.\n\nRun far far away
474402
well every1 will say move on....you need better, but i have been there and its so hard to do.  Tell him how you feel.  and i know this is hard to do but....if you have any ANY dbts about him....leave because in the end he is sure to hurt you.
748199
Honey, bipolarity will KILL a relationship.  Trust me. \n\nNo matter what he does, or doesn't do, you have to focus on YOU right now.  Are you on meds?  If no, why not?  That is priority one right now.  You have to get stable in order to maintain any relationship.   I don't know what he does or says or doesn't say, but right now it's all about YOU.  YOU have to have a clear head and meds will do that almost instantaneously.  Don't let this ruin another relationship.  Holidays, stress, we all got it.  Manage yours and he will appreciate it.  Don't lay your stuff at his feet.  Get your act together.\n\nYou said he has a very physical job and is tired - don't put more stress into that.  Just fix you and see if everything else falls into place.\n\nYou can get meds from your family doctor, you don't need a psychiatrist.  Call your doctor tomorrow.
517434
Hello there!\nIt must have been hard to have found that out about your girlfriend after being together for 5 months. I must take medication regularly, and I had the same problem with letting people know I took it. You should feel honored that she shared that information with you. It is so hard to even tell anyone that you have a problem, let alone someone so close to you. She is basically taking an anti-depressant, which regulate the level of serotonin in her brain. A mental illness is a disease, like diabetes or hypertension. In order to control our mental illness, we take medication. Just as someone with diabetes must have insulin. When we don't take our meds, it can cause a recurrence of our symptoms--which often includes suicidal thoughts. If you really care about her, you could try and learn about her illness. Be there to support her. People are often inclined to selfish thoughts, thinking how bad they will feel and withdrawing from the very person that needs us. Everyone has some thing or another that we must "deal" with in a relationship. I have had many relationships when the person I was with could not handle the fact I had a problem. I dont' let it run my life and am very loving and responsible. I am sure people will tell you "horror stories" about their illnesses, and these do occur. You did become her boyfriend for a reason right? Focus on her positive qualities and support her. If you feel like you could not handle it, then the best thing to do is to leave the relationship. Good luck to you!