how do you overcome sexual performance anxiety?
360528
Nobody's expecting you to be perfect! Sex is just another exercise between two human beings that show our respect for another. Her thinking you suck at sex is better than not having it at all! How are you supposed to become good at it if you never have it? I would say you should stop masturbating so you can have a build up of sexual energy. Also look into tantric sex (as this helps with keeping it up and having sex for longer periods of time). I'm sure that your gf is no pro at sex, so work on improving together. Buy a book on kama sutra (indian sex positions) and practice it page for page. It's better to get through this together, instead of you building it up in your head. Also, you can progress to sex. Build up your confidence by giving her oral and fingering or using a vibratoor on her. This will help you progress and release your anxiety. Also try her performing fellatio on you. An exercise to stop impotency is The Deer exercise for men (google it). Also tense the anall muscle continuously as though you are drawing water up it. The more you practice the longer you will be able to hold it. This helps strengthen erections and stops impotency. Hope my advice helps :)
208785
You can try Tantra or you can go to a sex shop and purchase a penile ring. It really helped my man. Another way I helped my man is when he felt he was going to ejaculate, pull out and I would hold the head firmly until the feeling would subside and resume intercourse. I kept doing this and now he is a monster!
1184037
if you're nervous, no matter how much you love your partner, it will hurt. when you're nervous, your muscles are tightened and it'll be hard for you and your partner to engage in intercourse. take a deep breath, relax, and think only good things and i think you will be fine.
331518
The more intercourse you have the better you get at things. If there comes a time where you are about to orgasm, pull it out and place your thumb over the head. It sometimes works. Have you tried foreplay first? Give that a go as well. Sometimes that makes you orgasm sooner than expected as well but if all fails there is always viagra.  It could come down to yourself being too eager as well. Take things slow and in time you will get better at it. All the best and hope you find the right solution to your problem.
679314
I think you're simply nervous. This is common with most sports men and women. To overcome it, you need to practice more and make sure you participate in more tournaments. That will help to make you more confident and erase nervousness.
202767
As i understand your questions, u r saing that you hadnt the disorder before your marriage.\nIf that is true, and you dont have any medical conditions that can have an effect on your sexual functioning (diabetes, hipertension, some weird uncommon neurological diseases), and you dont do drugs (legal or ilegal) It is a psychological problem. How is your partner taking it? is your partner supportive? You can buy a self help book called "the premature ejaculation" by Helen Singer Kaplan, its quite old but it has some great sex-cersises for the condition. \nWas the PE first or second? if u began with the PE, by the time you overcome it the ED with recede too. \nViagra seems to be a good option, but it will only help u with the ED. If u plan to use it consult your physician first.\nIf the book doesnt work, find a sex therapist, it will help.\nGood luck
13145
take it slow\ncommunicate about what feels good and what doesn't\nuse condoms
1048304
try a supplement called horny goat weed,you can get it in health shops,its  herbal tablets and can be taken by guys or girls,you can take them everyday about an hour before sexual activity.\nget your partner(if you have one) to dress up and look sexy.\nhave you ever tryed kamagra?(generic viagra),you can get it of the internet, it works wonders and keeps you up for hours,but you have to be sexuly excited.some guys say they dont need it,but ask yourself this can you have sucessfull sex for aleast 3 hours+\nwithout losing your erection?? if u havent already tryed these get of your computer and get out there and stock up
823789
Well, practice is good.  But yeah, there are videos, sex help books.  If you're too embarrassed to go and buy them outright you can buy them online.
91484
This is a case where it's a good thing for a guy to be pig-headed. Don't let yourself accept that you're going to blow first...insist SHE gets to orgasm first and mean it. (You've got to be stubborn though or she'll take you out!)Make yourself believe that you're not going out like that.Here's some practical tips that will probably help, too. First..oxygenate your body thoroughly before you even think about having sex, for example, earlier in the day go for a good run, shoot some hoops or do a bunch of pushups...anything to get the heart pumping oxygen-rich blood to the main vein! That's the principle key to your erection and good staying power. Next, get rid of that first nut privately, and pretty close to the time you're going to get with your lady. ( In the shower before you get with her is a good, discreet time and no one is any the wiser.) That first nut is mostly mechanical anyway; getting rid of it will calm you down to do some good, inspired thrusting and grinding. Lastly, don't do a whole lot of drinking...it weakens you more than you might think. And, if you know she's going to wipe you out when you take her from behind (for example) for God's sake don't start out like that; start in a position where you can maintain a good holding pattern without getting overstimulated. It's all in the planning, DAWG! Good luck.
1086558
Want to be more confident when you, er, take matters into your own hands? These "manual sex" techniques (my editor won't let me say hand job) will make him want to give you a round of applause  - not to mention return the favor.\nPick Your Position\n\nAre you left-handed or right-handed? Which is your "best" side? All too often, women try to deliver the goods in a position that feels uncomfortable or unnatural. You are allowed to move, you know! Simply roll over on top of him or straddle his lap, plant a long, slow, delicious kiss, then climb off to the side that suits you. Don't be scared to deviate from the usual side-by-side position either. Try him standing in front of you while you sit on the edge of a bed or lie on your back while he hovers above you straddling your tummy.\nUse the Slippery Stuff\n\nWomen have (rather handy) built-in lubrication systems, but men don't. So when they masturbate, they use lubrication such as moisturizing lotion. A dry penis is a sensitive one; it likes gentle stroking. Sliding your hand up and down the shaft  - the standard male masturbation technique  - can feel more like a vicious yank than an erotic escapade when done without lube. Saliva is better than nothing, but clever girls come prepared with good-quality personal lubricant. He'll be pleased, not turned off, when he sees the tube, so don't feel remotely embarrassed squeezing some into your palm. But don't use too much; being too generous removes friction entirely.\nGet a Grip\n\nSexperts worldwide dispense the same advice on this one: Women need to be touched softer and slower; men need to be touched harder and faster. Lots of women make the mistake of being scared of his most prized part. Holding it between finger and thumb like it's made of spun glass isn't sexy  - it makes him think you don't really want to touch it. Instead, take a good, firm hold and move into a well-practiced, self-assured technique.\nPractice Until You're a Pro\n\nSimply read up about hand-job techniques, and you're liable to give up before you've even started  - it sounds like reinventing the Rubik's Cube! Try some moves out, however, and you soon realize it's more like connecting the dots. Keen to impress but don't want to look like a twit in front of your new lover? Practice on a prop, such as a curtain rod or a carrot. This is the basic motion you need to master: slide up, circle, slide down the other side. More specifically, grasp your hand firmly around the base of the penis, and slide it upward until it reaches the head. Once you're there, pause  - and rub your palm over the head in small, slow, sexy circles. Next, let your hand drop naturally down the other side of the penis, grasping the shaft until you're back to base camp again, but on the opposite side with your hand facing the opposite way. Do that 10 times, with each motion lasting 10 seconds, then add one quick, firm, up-and-down pump stroke. Repeat that cycle over and over, each time adding an extra up and down. But decrease the number of pumps if he's dangerously close to losing it (and you've got other plans on how to use that erection!).\nEmploy Backup\n\nIf you only use your hands, you risk having to dispense the longest hand job in the entire world due to overstimulation. No matter how deft and clever your handiwork, most men enjoy (often need) extra stimulation to intensify and speed up the process of orgasm. So while one hand is working on his penis, use the other to cradle his testicles or stroke a nipple. Use your tongue on his testicles or nibble his neck, the inside of his thighs and his nipples. Try holding one hand in an L position firmly at the base of his penis, pulling the skin back from the base (in the direction of his pelvis). Not only does it make him look bigger, but it also heightens sensitivity.\nUse Props\n\nIf you and your guy are adventurous types (and even if you're no
1051950
be confident about the size of your penis; do a lot of foreplay with your girlfriend; oral sex before intercourse; vary your hip movements during sex, e.g. in/out, up/down, left/right, clockwise/counterclockwise, half in/fully in, diagonal penetration, etc.; try different sexual positions; think of non-sexual matters while having sex; stop when you are about to shoot your c-u-m to prolong sex; and focus not on your own satisfaction but on the pleasure of your partner. i hope these tips help you to be a stud in bed. cheers!
161035
oral sex\nsee in moviesXXX\npractice and try to push urself to that limit
337325
There are a lot of incompetent counselors out there.  So you might want to switch.\n\nBut for the orgasm issue, I'm thinking sex toys might help you.  There are a lot of them out there.  But even fingers could do it.  The point is, you need to be by yourself, with no one around posing a subconscious threat, before you will let yourself have an orgasm.\n\nAnd btw, a surprisingly large number of people have been sexually violated.  You are not alone, not by a long shot.  Maybe a support group could help.
1129925
Take it slow, soft, and gentle, you will have to stay on or around that special spot for quite some time. Also it helps if you go just a tiny bit off center because that spot sometimes gets too tender and it will make her jerk and move away. Ask her to guide you by the movement of her hips or her hands. Some women get very embarrassed having oral sex performed on them and can't let go and end up just giving up. It all takes, time, patients and understanding. Also it helps to be in a very dark room if she is insecure and or embarrassed. Hope I could be of help! Oh, one more hint: A lot of women will be right there, but then the person changes to another spot and the woman losses it ! You can do a lot of other things down there, in the beginning, but when it is time to bring her to orgasm, you must STAY on one spot till the job is done! Good Luck!        P.S. I was in the middle of typing you this answer, when you asked the next question, I am a slow typer!
525477
There are topical products available that desensitize you to some extent so that you last longer.  The suggestions above are excellent, as well, especially masturbating ahead of time.  Some men find that wearing a condom helps...er, slow things down a bit, too.  Relax, incorporate some toys into your foreplay to increase the pleasure for your girlfriend, and try to focus on the journey instead of the destination...\n\nGood luck!
1153975
I agree with Sonny. Sex is natural. Unless you are a nun don't deny your humanity. It will only get worse, not better. Ever hear of sexual anorexia? I too struggle with my sexuality. I was a victim of a rape that resulted in some serious physical and emotional trauma. I spent years swearing off sex. My issues around sex did not get better. The only way to have a healthy sexuality is to be sexual. Even if it is just with yourself! Get a vibrator and explore yourself. It is healthier than sitting in denial, I promise!\nCheck out this website to learn more....\nhttp://xxxanorexia.com/