tell me your stupidest joke?
374111
Why does Stevie Wonder moves his head around when he sings?\n\nHe's looking for the microphone
855289
These jokes are sooooooooooooooooo bad
412130
old joke.\n\ncat suit
382577
WHEN YOU KNOW HOW STUPID YOU ARE MATE!! \nhope this helps.. LOL
872517
funny. thank you, i just heard the worst three jokes of my life but you saved me from sorrow. I appreciate it lol.
554095
Here is a clean joke.\n\n\nA woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she lay her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest.\nAfter a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and said, "I'm so sorry, your Duck, Cuddles, has passed away."\nThe distressed owner wailed, "Are you sure?\n"Yes, I am sure. The duck is dead," he replied.\n"How can you be so sure," she protested. "I mean, you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something." The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room, and returned a few moments later with a black Labrador Retriever.\nAs the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head.\nThe vet patted the dog and took it out, and returned a few moments later with a cat. The cat jumped up on the table and also sniffed delicately at the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room.\nThe vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry,\nbut as I said, this is most definitely, 100%\ncertifiably, a dead duck."\nThen the vet turned to his computer terminal, hit\na few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman.\nThe duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill.\n"$150!", she cried, "$150 just to tell me my duck is dead!!\n\nREADY ?\n\nThe vet shrugged. "I'm sorry. If you'd taken my\nword for it, the bill would have been $20 but with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it's now $150.00
961960
..."A small penis that doesn't work"...\n\nHa,ha,ha you are funny.where did you get  this silly story?
590294
Yo mama...\nso stupid, she tried to put skittles and m&m's in alphabetical order and failed\n\nso fat, when she walked in front of the tv, we missed 3 episodes of sesame street\n\nso stupid when she saw the NC-17 (under 17 not admitted) sign, she went home and got 16 friends\n\nso stupid she hears it's chilly outside so she gets a bowl\n\nso stupid she got locked in a grocery store and starved!\n\nso stupid she sold her car for gasoline money!\n\nso stupid she could trip over a cordless phone!\n\nso stupid she stepped on a crack and broke her own back.\n\nso stupid that under "Education" on her job apllication, she put "Hooked on Phonics."\n\nso fat she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller\n\nso fat the highway patrol made her wear "Caution! Wide Turn"\n\nso fat when she gets on the scale it says to be continued.\n\nso fat even Bill Gates couldn't pay for her liposuction!\n\nso fat I tried to drive around her and I ran out of gas.\n\nso fat that when whe was born, she gave the hospital stretch marks.\n\nso poor when I ring the doorbell she says,"DING!"\n\nAnd my personal favorite:\nYo mama so poor when she goes to KFC, she has to lick other people's fingers!
1117829
hahahahahahaha stupid thinking
653613
A man met a beautiful woman and he decided he wanted to marry her \nright away. She said, "But we don't know anything about each other." \n\nHe said, "That's all right, we'll learn about each other as we go along." .....\n\nWhoops.\n\n\n\nOk, here is my real joke, the only other one I can remember in my flu delirium.\n\n...as told to me by my best friend when she was eight and I was ten...\n\nIf you are on the potty and you are not American, what are you?\n\nyou're-a-peein'.....
555676
yeah OK I have a great 2 jokes for you here but be prepared that they are somewhat well just wrong hehehe ok here we go! enjoy!\n\n#1- A mild-mannered man was tired of being bossed around by his wife,so he went to a psychiatrist,who told him he needed to build self-esteem and gave him a book on assertiveness.\n   After reading the book on the way him,he stormed into the house and declared, "I want you to know I am the man of the house,and my word is law."I want you to prepare me a gourmet meal tonight.THen after dinner,you are going to draw my bath so I can relax ,and when I'm finished with my bath,guess who is going to dress me and comb my hair?"\n           His wife responded, "THE FUNERAL DIRECTOR."\n\n#2-A husband is at home watching a football game when his wife interrupts, "Honey,could you fix the light in the hallway? It's been flickering for weeks now"He looks at her and says angrily, "Fix the light" NOw does it look like I have a G.E.O Logo printed on my forehead? I don't think so."\n   Well then,could you fix the fridge door? It won't close right". To which he replied, "Fix the fridge door? Does it look like I have WestingHouse written on my forehead? I don't think so"."Fine," She says "Then you could at least fix the steps to the front door? They're about to break".\n"I'm not a damn Carpenter and I don't want to fix the steps." "Does it look like I have Ace Hardware written on my forehead? I don't think so.I've had enough of you. I'm going to the bar!!"\n   So he goes to the bar and drinks for a couple of hours.\nHe starts to feel guilty about how he treated his wife,and decides to go home and help out.As he walks into the house he notices the steps are already fixed.As he enters the house,He sees the hall light is working,the fridge door is fixed.\n"Honey, How'd all this get fixed? She said, "Well, when you left I sat outside and cried.Just then a nice young man asked me what was wrong, and I told him.He offered to do all the repaires,and all I had to do was either go to bed with him or bake a cake."\nHe said, "So what kind of cake did you bake him?" She replied, "HELLOOOOO..... Do you see Betty Crocker written on my forehead?"\n\n#3- A very sexually active woman tells her plastic surgeon that she wants her vagina lips reduced in size because they were flapping in the breeze.Out of emabarrassment she insisted that the surgery be kept a secret and the surgeon agreed.\n  A wakening from the anesthesia after the surgery,she found three roses carefully placed beside her bed.Outraged,she immediately calls in the doctor. "I thought I asked you not to tell anyone about my operation!"\n   The surgeon told her he had carried out her wish for confidentiality and that the first rose was from him: "I felt sad because you went through this by yourself."\n   "The second rose is from my nurse.She assisted me in the surgery and empathized because she had had the same procedure done some time ago."\n   "And what about the third rose?" she asked.\n"Oh,that rose is from the man upstairs in the burn unit.He wanted to thank you for his new ears.
844082
Some dumb@ss guy said "My girlfriend gags when she brushes her teeth but not when she gives me a bj, why?" and one of the funniest replies was " maybe you are smaller than the toothbrush".  I almost fell out of my chair laughing.  Oh well- ask a stupid question get a stupid answer!!
124720
Congratulations! You have been awarded my\n\n"DUMBEST QUESTION OF THE DAY AWARD!"
581370
I laughed. This is stupid and I laughed
1034311
You realy want a dirty joke? okay heres one.
1076654
HA HA HA \nnice n clean joke
235245
We were eating at a restaurant,and my friends new girlfriend left to go to the toilet..\nAs soon as she left,i told him that if he wants to impress her,that he should arrange for the waiters to come sing a birthday song for her as it is her birthday (which it wasn't)\nWhen she came back from the toilet,they sang to her and she didn't know what was going on..\n\nShe got embarresed and he felt like a fool...\nBest prank I've pulled.