How do you forgive and forget when someone you been with for 18yrs cheats on you while saying they love you?
359780
18 years ? Even 30 years ! A whole 30 years! This is a real story ! You better kick that one out of your life.
27507
it is so hard to forgive people who are like that. It's so easy to say just get over it and find someone else but it's not easy to do I know.  Only time will help you forgive. It won't happen over night. It's part of being in love and investing so much of your time into someone. It sucks and it hurts to let someone go you care so much about but if the feeling isn't mutual it's not meant to be.  When I've been in that situation I've just tried to keep myself busy. Nothing is worse then sitting at home with nothing to do but think about that person. Get out and do something, anything, with anyone and just try to keep yourself occupied for a while. \nSorry she did that to you. If people only knew how they were affecting the ones around them....
22304
This is always tough and really, it depends on your situation.  The best thing you can do is be honest; tell them you no longer love them (and maybe this means you never really did) and explain why (this is the important part because it sucks to never know why someone fell out of love).  If you want to take the cowards way, just start cheating on them until they get the hint or the next time they say "i love you" say something like "yeah...about that love thing..." but you really do just have to say it.  They'll understand eventually even if it hurts them a lot now.  And be gentle, because they obviously care about you and you cared about them at some point
997451
i do not think you are stupid at all, you must really love her I mean real, true, deep love to forgive her for that. since she cried so hard and begged your forgiveness, and since you are the only person she opens up to, it means that she does love you. don't think because she cheated she dosn't love you, it has to do with something that you weren't giving her thus she had to look elsewhere. This could be sex, attention, love, support, a million different things to be real. if you really want to work this out then you have to be willing to forgive and forget. you also need to have a serious talk with her about why she cheaated. Just simply ask her why, what was her reasoning. if you want to ensure that she dosn't cheat again then you have to make sure that you are giving her what she needs and fulfilling your part of the relationship deal, but if she cheats again, its over, and there is no hope. I just went through the same thing except im the one who cheated and he said he would forgive me but then he didnt act right read my last question for what happened cuz now he wants me back that im gone. he is B in my question if you want to take a look. Good Luck to you. Hope I helped.
366889
When something similar happened to me, I tried to forgive but I could not forget. I ended up having to leave him for my own sanity. That level of betrayal is unforgivable.It sucks but you don't seem to be able to move on with her so maybe you so move without her.
115447
It is human nature not to trust someone that has hurt you that bad.   It is hard to work through that pain,  You will never trust each other like you did before.  Realize that and accept the fact you both have cheated.\n\nNow you need to move beyond it.  Forget trust, and stop worrying.  Concentrate on the reasons that you both want to stay together.  Rebuild your relationship on thse reasons.  If it's for the kids, make the kids the center of your life.  If it's because you still love each other, concentrate on that.  \n\nNow go to counselling.
1004116
You will have to learn to forgive and forget if you are staying with her.......\n\nIf you are done with her.......just get your head and heart straight.  \n\nDon't blame yourself, noone deserves to be cheated on if they have made a committment to each other.\n\nIt will take time....just like a cut....the heart takes TIME to heal....
575416
You can't! You blew it! Time to move on. A woman will forgive, but she will never forget. Neither should you and next time you meet someone you really care about, consider not doing things that will make her not trust you.
1048244
Well, unfortunately you can't erase the memories of past relationships. There is always going to be something that reminds you of that person. A good way to bypass the baggage is not to use it against the new love.  They don't deserve to be compared to or treated as if they are going to be the same way. Not everyone is the same way. Have a positive outlook on any new relationship and learn from the previous ones.
1136077
He'll either forgive you or he won't.\n\nBut, he has to come to that decision all by himself and there is nothing you or anyone else can do to hurry the process.\n\nBe patient and do your best to act "normal" or you will be constantly reminding him. Which will cause him to take longer to forget about it and move on.\n\nBe patient and good luck. It's up to him, not you.\n\n\n\n\nWe don't need to know what happened. It won't change anything or the process.
857797
If you have decided to stay and forgive him then you need to put it in the past and carry on. It sounds like he is trying to regain your trust by doing the right thing. You say you forgave him, so give him a chance to prove himself to you. If you can't get past it, then it will never work. You can't keep bringing up the past forever. You need to decide if you will ever really be able to move forward. If not, then let him go.
84750
i think it is possible for a man to cheat and then not  do it again. the only problem is that you will never forget what happened. and no matter how much he says to try to convince you that he will never do it again, it possible that in your mind he will always be a cheater, therefore you may not be able to trust him.\n\nyou have to make a promise to yourself that if you forgive him, you also have to forget.\n\nalso, if you do forgive him for cheating, it shows him that that is something that you are willing to forgive. because you show that cheating is forgivable, he may do it again.\n\ngood luck with your decision - it is a hard one.
280476
1st off, what what is that make to forget the someone you "truly" loved. I you love someone, truly, u should make adjustment acc. to 'em. Well! think about what was that, that made you seperate. \nDo not remember the good times u've spend, insted thing about the bad time u'll had. This how, his absence has helped you.\nAnd ofcouse you wont forget some you loved for all these year, in a sec. you need time. \nMake new frnd, who have nothing to do wiht your relations. Be creative, spend more time with people who are funny!
616296
The most smart thing 2 do would prolly b 2 leave em cuz dat sayn "once a cheater alwayz a cheater" but errebody iz diffrent...But wen u love sumbody it ain't as easy as errebody say...But if u love him & wanna give it anotha try id say go 4 it cuz errebody deserve A 2nd chance but don lisin 2 nebody follow ya heart gurl do watchu feel iz rite!
234936
It takes time, patience and a real willingness to want to forgive and forget.  If you can't forgive and forget, then you will never learn to trust again.  Think of it this way.  No one is perfect, even you and I have made and will continue to make mistakes (sometimes big ones).  Just give yourself PLENTY of time and take baby steps.  It may take a few years even, but if the relationship(s) are better afterwards, it will be worth your while.
193030
it is hard to leave someone, especially if u love them in return. but as he has cheated, it is likely he will do it again. saying "i love you" might be just his way of making you forget what happened. you should move on. you need to think of yourself, not him, because he obviously was not thinking of you when he cheated. this is just my opinion, so dont take it to heart. if you want to talk more contact me by going to my profile.
1175968
i have had a similar experience. You need to understand that everybody makes mistakes. What really matters is if they learn from their mistakes. If you think that he knew he was wrong and he loves you unconditionally now then you need to forgive him and stop thinking about what happened. If you keep putting him down, chances are he will feel desperate and lonely and will do the same thing again. If you don't want him to do the same thing again then stop punishing him. If he is really sorry for what he did then forgive him and forget the past. You can't build future living in past. Forget it and try building your future with him... =)