Why do my wifes single friends flirt with me too much? Is this a test of my fidelity?
365069
Yes... well not really.... but sort of.....but then not so much.....\n\nIf your wives friends are relatively decent human beings than no.... it's not a test.  Women tend to think of a friends husband as sort of a big brother and its safe to flirt a little.  We even think of you as a surrogate husband.  They can get you to lift heavy things and kill the bugs but they don't have to sleep with you.  But don't make the mistake of acting on it because they would tell her in a heartbeat....so ya sort of.\n\nIf your wives friends are hoochies then they are probably really trying to get in your pants.  In which case they aren't really her friends.... still they would tell her in a heartbeat if you even hinted at interest.\n\nThe next time it happens, just grab your wife and kiss her.  That will show them you are devoted and make your wife feel good.  Chances are that your honey bunches has noticed it too and might be feeling a little insecure about it.
94564
Sounds like he loves you, just not enough to care if he's hurting you or exposing you to STDs. Sounds like his friends are really highly moral people too. Are you married and do you have obligations that make it worth going through humungous struggles? If so, go to counseling and see if he can learn to make appropriate and healthy boundaries (He should not be having one on one time with any non-relative females ever again). You can forgive without forgetting. He will have to learn that your trust has been broken and he will have to make lifestyle changes. He has proven he is not trustworthy alone with women. As long as he is not alone with women he won't be in a situation to cheat. As long as he's keeping himself in a safe invironment and keeping you appraised of it you will have no reason for suspicions and wont have to rub it in his face. It's a whole new level for your relationship, but it can be done and you can go on to be happy. If you don't have mutual kids, property, business, or a mariage license you should drop him like he's hot. Oh yeah, in either case, you'll both need to be screened for STDs.
116447
Sometimes somedays are just bad days.  Don't let it get to you.  \n\nFlirting means nothing.  Everyone does it.  Just because I flirt with someone's wife means squat.  She's not jumping my bones.  She's definitely not taking me serious.  I'm not thinking whether she likes me or not.
1042247
Women are catty, hun  It's not about you.  Its about the *competition* thing.  You could be a hairy smelly hobbit...  your wife could be Jabba the hut....  it wouldn't matter in the least.  Your ex's reaction would be the same.\n\nThe actual sad truth is that a woman need not have ever met your wife in order to consider her the *opposing* team. All it takes, is for you to paint a super model/saint like image of your wife in a woman's mind. That is sometimes enough to unwittingly start a competition. I have personally, on several occasions throughout my life, found myself being verbally attacked by women I hardly knew because men who were never *boyfriends* but were close friends to me referred to me in kind or flattering terms to other women. Within the last few years, when ever that has happened, and it has happened a lot, the first thing I do is call my male friends and ask them *Who is this woman and why did you tell her about me?* \n\nWhen you got married, you became a challenge.  Get used to it.  I tell all my male friends, "If you wanna pick up chicks for quickie one-nighters... get a wallet-sized  photo of a gorgeous woman... put it in your wallet.  Take it to a club with you.. show it around and tell other women that it's your wife and you are madly in love and would never cheat because your wife is "Different and special"...  Women will be clawing eachother's eyes out for a chance to try to be the *one* who could make you change your mind.\n\nYour ex isn't reacting to jealousy.. she is reacting to a feeling that your wife somehow won something she couldnt win.  Looks like she doesn't understand that the game is over... she's still playing.
379904
I would be pretty upset if I found out my husband had “secret female friends,” I'm sorry I mean “private friends.” It sounds fishy. I would be suspicious. You need to ask more questions...If it is so harmless then why would he hide it from you for so long? Why are all of his private friends female? I wouldn't accuse him of cheating entail there was prove. But you should defiantly keep a close eye on this situation.
1148290
It's the idea that gets them going.  People, in general, love to gossip.  If it's your partner that's assuming you are having sex with someone else, then it's probably a matter of insecurity. Then you must ask yourself if you are being honest with your partner.  Have you included your partner in your friendships with others, or are you being secretive and elusive about them?  Did your partner find out about your opposite-sex friend(s) from you or another source?  If it's just other people making assumptions, just ignore them.  They obviously have nothing better to do than worry about what you might, or might not be doing.
777025
He is obviously attracted to you too, but maybe on the days that he acts professional and distant he is feeling guilty for thinking of cheating on his wife. On the days that he is flirty and suggestive, don't encourage that kind of behavior. That is the time for you yourself to become distant.
568895
HI ,\n I THINK U ARE RISKING THREE LIVES AT A TIME...\nACCORDING TO ME DO NOT INTERFERE IN UR FRIEND'S MARRIED LIFE\n  GO GET A NEW PARTNER... NOTHING IS PERMANENT IN THIS WORLD\nHAVE FUN
879508
Face it, she's porking your so-called friend. Normally if a woman cheats on a man it's because he's a jerk. Clean up your act. Take responsibility for your own faults and work on them. Assuming there are no children in the mix, move on. If there are children, fight for your marriage and kids.
29306
I think some husbands cheat on their wives for the same reason why all men cheat... they want to see if the grass is greener in other pastures. They may not be getting the attention they want at home or they may simply just be jerks and not care about their wive's feelings.
1108650
You will come across these kinds of people for the rest of your life.  I live my life very guarded and am very particular about who my friends are.  I use the rule that I keep people at a distance, enjoy their company but don't confide in them about anything personal.  After a while you tend to weed out the ones that you know won't be there for you if you need them or will stab you in the back the minute you walk away.  Don't let this slight your judgment in the future on seeking out companionship....just be a little more cautious!
590769
You see things in black and white but cheating is OK? I'm surprised that you have such a high opinion of this guy that is obviously cheating on his wife with you induldging in an emotional affair which by any definition is STILL an affair. Is love pulling you into that dreaded shade of grey and or the american double standard?\n\nHave your cake and eat it too eh? Use him as a "boy toy" and then send him home to his wife when you get bored of him? Sorry the whole friends with benefits is still a mystery to me, it sounds like you're just out to have your jollies hot on the heel of your seperation and all of this is just an emotional fix. \n\nMy advice? There are still plenty of single men you could have a meaningful as well as normal relationship with out there. Think of it, no guilt about getting caught, no worries about jealous wife syndrome putting you in peril. \nMy only wonder in all this is what happened to you in your romantic life that it would drive you to such extremes?\nGet on with your life and forget about this melodrama you've weaved around yourself.
976517
why should i? i also flirts with other men heheheh
105768
your in a hole different ball game now. your married they are not. this is when you find out who your real friends are. and you being married shouldn't have anything to do with them not hanging out with you any more. i will ask my good friend and get back to you
455424
You should trust her I think, but if they are acting like strangers when you are around what are they hiding? Are you a jealous person? Or are they pretending nothings going on! Heidi
782195
Here's my suggestion (from experience on the being cheated on side).  First, stop and think about how badly you have hurt her.  Think about the damage that has been done to the relationship.  I'm not telling you to do this so you will feel bad. I'm saying it so you will know what she feels like.  She is going to be going through some tremendous grief (even though you are not dead or leaving her, there is something precious that has been lost).  Then you need to consider how insecure she must be feeling right now.  She is possibly feeling unattractive, unwanted and unloved - maybe she feels she doesn't measure up or has lost your interest.  Once you understand what she might be feeling, you need to go to her and tell her that although you can't understand exactly what she is feeling, you do know that she is hurting badly.  Acknowledge her feelings, even if you don't understand them, they are hers and she is entitled to them.  She will likely go through phases of certain fears and feelings.  you need to understand what she is feeling and help her to overcome that.  Be prepared for her to need to know where you are all the time.  You may get really tired of this, but she needs to be able to check up on you.  Next, get rid of all things from the other woman, any pictures, phone numbers, gifts from her - anything and everything.  Recognize that you may still have feelings for the other woman - but DO NOT share this with your wife.  If you don't have feelings for the other woman, you might have some potent memories.  Whenever you find yourself dwelling on them, change what you are thinking about.  Work on getting her out of your mind.  This is going to take a lot of work and reassurance on your part.  And just when you think things are going great - expect her to need more reassurance or to get angry again.  When this happens, think again about how much you love her.  Also, I think it is important to understand why you cheated.  Was there a problem in your current relationship?  If so, fix it.  And lastly, I agree with whoever above said to pray.  That is the single most important thing you can do.  Because this is a major breach of trust and devastating to experience.  She is going to need a lot of help getting past it and trusting you again.  Best wishes in your future together!
228976
Keep being cautious!  You can still hang out with him and see how he handles being around other women.  If you notice he is a major flirt, know that his behavior is a reg flag of possible playeritus.  If your friends are saying those things about him, ask them how they know that he messes around with lots of other girls.  Maybe one of your friends has had a personal experience with the guy that justifies their warnings to you.   A good way to find out more about his behavior is to ask his (guy) friends about his dating history.  If he jumps from one girl to another as easy as frogs can jump from lily pad to lily pad, there's another red flag for you.  I'm glad he hasn't tried to pull the screwing trick on you--but always be ready that he could do that to you when you least expect it (particularly if alcohol or the likes are involved).  Well, good luck!