wiil my kids be mad at me when they grow-up for giving them a broken family?
359562
I think it depends on the reason that you divorce.  Did you give them a better life by doing it?  Or did you break up the family for selfish reasons?  I think if you had there interest at heart then the will forgive you for it.
941310
What can you do? Apologize and if that doesnt work, its not like you can NOT let your child go there if he/she wants to... ya know? I think your family should DEF forgive you for things that are that far in the past, but its not my call... Good luck sweets.
505179
Being a child of divorce myself, I know that it is a painful process for all. But you need to be the hero and help your children recover from the process. Divorce is not the end of the world. There are kids out there who have no parents so your children are lucky and you should be lucky to have custody of them. \nMy brother and I were angry at my father for my parents' divorce. We didn't see him during our adolescent years cause my mother poisoned our view of him. We lost about five years and we hated him and really had no idea why. When I was 18, I started to contact my father behind my mother's back cause I needed him in my life. It's almost 15 years later and my brother and I keep constant contact with our father. You see, time really does heal if you help along the way. I'm still learning and forgive and understand my father's reason's for leaving. I grew up to realize that he wanted to keep contact with us but we shut him out.\nChildren see things differently than adults. It takes the experiences of adulthood to understand the motives of the parents. Adult problems are adult problems and very difficult for a child to understand. And sometimes children blame themselves for the divorce.\n\nDon't let your children do the same to your wife. Teach your children the reasons why you fell in love with her in the first place. Tell them about times she did special things for them. Just give them something so they can learn to forgive her in their hearts. Forgiveness is the best medicine for moving on with their lives. Holding a grudge will just make your children grow up angry and resentful. Your children just feel rejected and their spirits need to be revived. Letting them dwell on this without proper counselling can make them depressed. I was a depressed teenager and you don't want that on your hands.  \nI don't think that divorce is taught as the best option unless the situation cannot be fixed. \nAs for child support, perhaps you should get the courts involved. It is not fair that you are put in this situation but you are the only one they have now and you must be the one to bring up their spirits. Teach them new things. Take them on outings like camping, the beach or the park. Get them active and enjoying life. \nThe last thing you want is for your children to resent you when they are older cause you didn't act on this.\nAs for disadvantaged, I don't think your children are. In the 80s when I was the only child in my class with divorced parents, that was disadvantaged. I was teased and belittled cause of it. Today it's common and there are more support systems out there. And you have the choice to allow them to be disadvantaged in life by not acting on the problem.\nJust know that your children need you and you are lucky to have each other. And show them the good things that life has to offer them. Good luck!
910894
Hi there , \n\nI understand your frustration. Every family are dysfunctional in some ways and when there is a crisis, like you mentioned, the stress just builds up and family members disagree. It's almost worse that they're your family because they can truly act like themselves, which often brings out their worst, or so it seems. But I believe everyone has a good intention, it's just that everyone thinks they're right and aren't willing to consider others' opinion.\n\nIt's a sign of selfishness and immaturity but hey, there will always those people and you've just got to deal with it, ya know?\n\nI hope everything works out sweetie :)
760798
Kids can be jerks, and they are just doing it to upset you, so don't. Just ignore them and keep thinking...you have less than 2 years to go and you are out of there!
505143
Were you afraid that your kids would forget you if you left? Or that someone else would raise them not to your liking? I can understand that, but still, if you are unhappy, your kids shouldn't see you that way.
749176
That is horrible! I understand how you feel being a parent myself.\nI would be really mad. Perhaps you could send a letter to their important clients:) I would do this. \n\nGood luck!\n\nBob B.
139423
Tell the kids it is not their fault for the divorce.Just be there for them to listen.\nAs a teacher you will be surprised how many kids come to you just to vent out.\nJust listen and don't judge !
746015
You really hit the nail on the head with that one. I have more love and respect for my parents now that I have kids of my own. I understand more about them. They were never trying to ruin my life they were trying to keep me from ruining it. Just wish I would've listened more to them growing up. I would be so smart now. You never understand anyone's point of view until you're in their situation. My kids think I'm the meanest mama ever. If they only knew how good they really have it.
883835
Ive got the same problem with my -- 'out-laws' But luckily for me they are going abroad this year so we are safe. Next year might be different though cos we've had some turbulent times and I dont think I will ever feel the same about them again.\n\nI would try and keep it nice for the children we have but if it weren't for them I wouldn't be bothering.
1055243
maybe you were hurt  from your parents when you were young?
946169
I wouldn't say there's something wrong with you. It sounds like your anger had more to do with something a lot deeper than going shopping with your parents.\n\nDo your parents make you feel left out or do you have other anger issues with your parents? If so, it could help a lot if you start speaking up to them in a respectful way and letting them know how you're feeling. Sometimes it can be really hard for people to ask for things that they want but with practice it becomes easier. \n\nIf the reason you got angry was because they didn't ask you, well you have to remember that people aren't mind readers. Sometimes we all fall into the trap of expecting other people to do something for us or ask something of us. But the fact is that people often just don't know; even people that we're very close to.\n\nTry to figure out what it is you were really angry about and then see if there's a pattern to your anger. If you often react to anger in an extreme way, like hitting things, then you may want to talk to someone about it and find ways to deal with your anger in a more healthy and constructive way.\n\nBe good to yourself and take care
111628
You say you are "unhappy", what does that mean?  If there were no kids involved i'd say move on, but children are precious and deserve all you and your wife can do to resolve this.  But making your kids the reason for staying is weak, nobody wins.  Communication is the key, there had to have been a time when your wife was the best woman that happened to you right?  She still is and it's worth finding out together what changed.  And even if you still come to the same conclusion you can honestly say you tried, do THAT for the children.
749433
Go talk to someone now!  A parent, friend, family member, someone who cares for you.  Have someone else to help share your burden.  I am sorry for how you have been treated, and I DO understand, believe me.  But you must realize that such people are hurting themselves, and therefore they will hurt people.  \nYou seem like you have a pure and tender heart.  Don't take it so much to heart.  People need you!
153354
Whatever it was that made them disown you will surely dim as time passes. Give them time to cool off, do a lot of growing up yourself then you make the grand gesture yourself. It may take years, and pride will surely get in the way (on your part or theirs) but in the end having family means everything. Once you grow up and change your ways (if that is it) they will surely see the light.
188600
It is not possible to say that you have been a bad kid, especially because of the way you have expressed yourself here in your question. I think sometimes you should have been trying to help them out when they needed or asked for your help. That would make them happy. Just because you are not bound to do something does not mean that you can never do that. Of course you should try to make your parents and siblings happy. They were always hurt by you because each time they needed you beside them, you did not allow them to have you. That is why they got used to think about you in this way that you have had been a bad kid.\n\nDo not worry about the past! If you are willing to make everything alright now, you can do it by telling them all of your words those you explained to us. Try to make them feel your words, feel you heart and that will help to make the situation better.\n\nBest of luck!
1119545
Well hunn sounds like some problems for sure.\ni have been in a simaler sitution i hate to say this but the fact is if they dont see a problem they wont get help they wont listen and they want to ignore the obvious but that is not you and yes maybe difficult and mental issues do run in family's i myself had the same problems with my family . the only thing i can say better yourself dont hold on to the anger and maybe suggest  your counsiler request your family  go to a session with you also remeber that as soon as you are old enough move out though maybe hard to do it is easier than you would even imagine just know you can and you will do fine some family's are just stubborn. anyways goodluck and i hope it helped even if it was a little. take care hunn!