I feel so sad since my parents got a divorce. how do i feel happy again?
357872
Big hugs coming your way!  I can't imagine going through that.  All I suggest is keep yourself busy with friends..keep your mind occupied, and don't take sides.  Good luck and smile, things will get easier in time!
354089
You do have a void in your life. You miss the parents you wish you had. My father passed away more than twenty years go when i was a little girl and i still am having a hard time with it. I don't remember conversations and never got to know him. I miss what i could of had. There is no real getting over it. It's more of accepting the way things are. I know i can't bring him back and it sucks. One thing i read recently i wish i could remember where. The article was about making a patch work quilt in your mind with the people in your life that have the qualities that you would want in a mother or father. Say you have a friend who is really good at listening, that can be a piece of what a mom is to you. Someone else in your life who encourages you is another part of what a mom is to you and slowly you piece together a mother. Instead of getting all of a mom in one person many people end up fill the void that is empty. It will never be the same as the real thing but that is where acceptance is a huge part of learning to cope. You will always miss them and wonder what life would be like with them. I wish i had a better answer for you. Sincerely,if during my journey in finding acceptance with my fathers death i learn something better i will let you know.
885129
I have had so many stuggles in the past but I think the worst is that..When I think of my past I think of my ex-husband and I ache when I think of all the crap I put up with.I also ache when I think about what the divorce has done to my children.I do smile when I think of how much brighter the future is for me.I guess the past is a good reminder of how to improve my life.I am making a better life for myself and my children.The biggest triggers for me are smell.I have no clue why.
364878
sorry to hear that. but i really think you need to see someone professional to get over this. if you are getting back together you have to consider whether he will be able to understand you and forgive you. a professional will help you forgive yourself, however i think that there is nothing wrong with being with someone else when youre separated. feeling "dirty" - come on, the guy made you do things you didnt want to do, hes the dirty one!! make sure youre not getting together with your husband because youre feeling bad after the abusive relationship, you have to make sure that the true reason is your love for him and not pity for yourself. a professional will help yu figure things out! :)
337141
I say quit feeling sorry for your self,get off your butt and get a job.There are no guarantees in this life except Death and Taxes. Most men aren't better off financially after a divorce especially if they have to find,rent,buy a new place to live. they also have all the other expenses to pay for; gas,electric,garbage,phone,car payment now add on 25% of his pay to pay for his children from the same pay check as before. You just want to take advantage of the system and your ex-husband. Start a Day Care Center your self. If you work out of your home the state will have to check it out. To get State funds you have to provide a monthly menu and only have the amount of children allowed  based on square feet of your home you have.
546744
You must feel pretty much at rock bottom - and I am sorry to hear that.  But, from rock bottom, there is only one way to go - UP.  Every day you cope with this will be one day nearer to getting over this, one more step in an upwards direction.  I try to learn something from every bad experience I have, because experience is what you get in life when you don't get what you want from life.  In the future whatever happens, you will know you can cope, because you will have coped with this.  Talk to your parents, they will be concerned for you and want to help.  Even though they have split up, they still both want the best for you, and hopefully can put aside their differences and be able to work together with you so that you all come through this.   Time heals - I bet you find it hard to remember what worried you 6 months ago, 1 year ago, 2 years ago, so although this is a major crisis in your life, you will come through it I am sure. I hope this helps.
689899
You never truly get over it but the first step is to realize that the relationship you want with your parents will probably never happen.  Your expecting something from people who have proven to you over and over they are not capable of affection of making you feel needed.  All you are doing be this is setting yourself up for more heartache and disappointment which you will blame on them thus forcing a bigger divide between you and your parents.  You have to learn to be happy with what relationship you do have and not to expect from them what they can't give.  If you are content with that and follow this then you can have a relationship with your parents.  It may not be the kind of relationship you would like but it is all you can get so either accept it or move on without them.
505826
...been there brother...it hurts worse than anyone will ever understand.\n\nFriends and family are great, but you know as well as I do, that you can only be around them so much.  Sometimes you just need time alone.  Try not to spend too much time alone.  I know, I still struggle with that and my divorce was final 6 months ago.  \n\nMan, I could write a book to you right now.  It is just SO hard dude.  \n\nWhatever you do, don't spend all your time thinking about all the great times, the great traits of your wife and, most importantly, beating yourself up over the situation, (kicking yourself over anything and everything you could have done better, blaming yourself for not making her happier and feeling like you failed).  THIS IS WAY EASIER TO SAY THAN TO DO!  I know.  This is the trap that I fell in and caused me to become WAY, WAY depressed.\n\nYou are gonna ride a roller coaster of up and down emotion for the next few years.  The low times are gonna be LOW, LOW, and the high times will be pretty good, believe it or not.\n\nWriting has become my happy place.  Actually, it doesn't really make me happy, it just releaves me of the pain that I am experiencing at the moment.  I don't always write about the divorce, feelings or depression.  Sometimes, I write about current events, events that really touched me, friends, etc.  It really doesn't matter.  Writing just gives me an outlet to release emotion without bothering others.
1124218
Don't feel guilty.  Get up and have a fantastic time with this new guy.  You aren't mourning, sweetie, you just broke up with someone!  Enjoy yourself and do what makes you happy!  Never feel guilty for doing something that makes you feel good!
641183
You know i have been through this situation myself.  I'm not proud.  We just kind of drifted apart after the same amount of time as you, but were only separated for about 2 months.  I really liked the feeling of freedom and meeting other people.  I still think of a certain someone now and then, especially when my husband and i get into arguments about petty stuff.  I think "why did i even come back"?  Then i realize that he has put up with all my crap and it would be so hard to start all over and put effort into a new relationship.  I also think about my kids and in today's society kids need the guidance of both parents.  Anyway, i really do love my husband, it's just sometimes its fun to think of what could have been.  \nI'm not saying all marriages are to stay together for the sake of the children, it's just if you really love each other, you need to try and get passed the other man.\n\nTry to do things with your husband, take time for yourselves.  Go to the movies out to eat, or even spend time at the park with the kids(if it applies).  And just when you feel an argument coming on think and sometimes prayer comes in handy(if you are religious). \n\nGood luck. i wish you the best.
1155505
Part of the therapy for getting over a divorce is to re-join the "human race".  With a divorce, we go through "separation anxiety" ... and that is a very miserable condition.\n\nDon't feel that you have to leap at the first opportunity to date ... but don't shy away from one that interests you.  Ease back into it, maybe by starting out going out with a group of friends, then a couple friends, then venturing out on your own.\n\nThere is no generally-accepted timeframe for waiting.  Let your own heart and needs determine that.  Just be cautious about "rebounding" and jumping into a worse relationship than the one you just left ... just because "it's there" and you're hurting.
3077
just go along w/it.my parents are divorced and i just made a schedule to see both parents and it works fine. you get used to it after awhile.
189633
Oh wow - that is so sad.  I am really sorry that you have gone through SOOOO much in this recent past.  I am sure it must feel like your world has just about crushed in around you.  :(  \n\nI can really see now why you wish you could just have it all be over with.  What you are feeling is completely normal.  I wish there was a quick fix for the way you were - but there really isn't.  :(   \n\nOne thing that you may or may not be into doing is this -  exercise... I know that you may not want to at this time - but it really is good for you - it elevates the endorphins which in turn helps to elevate your mood.  So while it won't make everything better - it can help you to cope with it a bit better than you might be right now.  \n\nI will keep you in my prayers tonight and pray for that "hole" in your heart to be healed and filled with the Love of God.  I had that "hole" at one point in my life... It is lonely and sad - it makes you feel like you just have no reason to exist... "what is the point of it all" I would ask my self all the time.  But I have survived that time.  Life has improved and I have seen the blessings of the Lord in my life. If I had died or never existed I would have never known what I know now -  I firmly believe that everything happens for a reason - both good and bad things.  We Learn from the bad in order to be able to help others to the other side... to be a shoulder to cry on - or to gain wisdom through it.  \n\nKeep truckin' along - you will get to a better place - it may take a long time - but you will get there.  Keep your eyes on the blue sky and try to look at positive things in life.  I know they may seem like few and far between, but they are there... take the moment to look at the beautiful pink or yellow blossom as it blooms into the new spring of this year.  Take the time to look at the white fluff clouds as they float around the blue sky and a lady bug lands on the leaf - or a butterfly flutters by.  Take joy in these small things... small improvements will help you.  \n\nWhen you have negative feelings try your hardest to push them out and possibly pray at that time if you have a relationship with God.  Ask for help and peace in this difficult time.  \n\nyou will be happy one day Hiedi23\n♥
1035283
I know how you feel.  My husband used to be the same way.  It is a horrible way to live, isn't it?  Just remember that he has a problem and needs help.  Divorce was not an option for me so I stuck it out, hoping that he would change.  He did.   With a little maturing, antidepressants (for both of us I might add) and patience, we made it.\nI always wanted the kind of marriage my mom and dad have.   Loving, caring for one another, laughter and respect.  It took many years, but I finally got it.  We have been married 29 years this year.  It was soooo difficult though.  But well worth the wait.  Please try to talk to your husband about antidepressants.  It really helps my husband not be so angry and irritable all the time.  If you don't feel like you take it anymore (and I know how that is, too)  talk to someone.  It can help more than you realize.  If I can help in some way, please send me an e-mail.  I would be glad to listen.  I didn't have anyone that I felt comfortable enough with to tell all the sorted details to.  Didn't want mom and dad to know how bad things really were.  Good luck and I will say a little prayer for you and your family....:)
415902
Speak to your parents about how you feel. Parents often forget how you are feeling in times like this as they are hurting as well...
500566
I have read your other questions. You have a sad life. You really need someone to talk too. Try talking to a school counselor or someone at church. Most of all try to be good around your father. He is having a hard time as well. Divorce is never good because everyone suffers. If you are living with your father instead of your mother there has to be a good reason.\n\nBe good!
1048271
Firstly must say you seem like a very special man. Secondary I shall say that it is time that you concentrate on yourself a bit more (to be able to move forward)\n\nBe respectful, always reliable, helpful, be understanding, be her shoulder to cry on (life is funny.. but wheel turns). But at the same time give her space at this time as you don’t want to loose her.\n\nI had a friend who his wife left him for another man. They have two kids together. He was always there for her (but had other girlfriend but did not commit 100%: in fact I was one J ). If she was sick, or needed something, or pick their kids up: he was always there, kept nice contact with ex-in laws because of the kids.. She went back to him when she was in trouble. He let her. He let her leave him again for yet another man (even married) He was her friend, warned her about the guy who ended up to be an abuser. She left this guy in the end, she matured, and they now together (but he did not remarry), He is now 48, his wife 8 year younger. He married he as she was only 19.\n\n*******************************\nJust remember:\n*******************************\n\nForming a relationship with your ex is entirely separate from the process of ending a marriage; if you work through the process to achieve your "emotional divorce," you can cultivate something entirely new. Your old relationship is over; take the steps to heal so that you can invest your energy elsewhere.\n\nGood luck.\n\nps meant to say: and you get a new hobby and have fun with other people as soon you will feel better and might make new friends and will not feel lonely. The reason why we LOVe or MISS people is beuase we miss that comunication. Once you communicate with others it will be better for you. And who knows, maybe your ex -wife seeing how popular and outgoing you are might ant to herself be your friend asap.........  show her your new side that she did not see before :-)