How do you deal with breaking your own heart?
359684
yes you're absolutely right. if you marry him you're giving him all the power to continue hurting you because it's not fair to you or to him. He needs help...love doesn't hurt
876874
in the long run, it makes you appreciate the good people that come into your life, although i am not going to lie...that heartbreak will always stay with you and you will find yourself reflecting back on the one who broke your heart...but you will move on and find someone else  =)
601717
well, first you have to forget about the idea of your 'one true love'. whether or not such a thing exists, she was obviously not it. for the other part - I'm sorry but I don;t know any shortcuts through a broken heart. give it time, try to get out and be around people who can distract you, try to find a job, hobby, or person to be excited about. One day you'll wake up and she wont be the first thing on your mind...I promise.
189649
You never really mend it ... you just move on and dare to be vulnerable with someone new. I could list seven names of people I feel have a piece of my heart, but number eight, my partner, has access to the overwhelming majority of it.
1015084
It is difficult I know.  Been there and done that and its not much fun.  You just have to be patient.  Find someone else to share some time with. Someone out there is worthy of your love and efforts.  Time heals all wounds and this is going to take some time.  In the meantime while your wounds are healing, find a hobby, join a gym, or take a evening class, anything to get you out of your blues.  Mingle with others and find someone else that you like and before long it will be easier for you to think about her and not be upset.  It wont be easy, but you will be ok and you will be a stronger person in the long run from all of this.  Yes a closure would be a nice thing to have but some people dont like confrontations or goodbyes.  Dont beat yourself up over it.  Learn from it and consider it a chapter in your life and start working on a new chapter.  Good Luck!!  And yes, this is normal feelings when you get dumped or something doesnt seem to have ended as it is "suppose to".  Lots of unanswered questions still in your head, rehashing over and over.  Best thing to do is go on with your life and cherish the memories you had and concentrate on making new ones.  Old saying is "when one door closes, another one opens".  Dont be so into your sadness that you miss an opportunity.
956200
If you were really in love with them, and you cared for them deeply, I don't think you ever "GET OVER" them.  What a lot of people don't do is to take time out for themselves.  When you break-up with someone after being in a long-term relationship, you really need to take time to heal before you move on to another person because you can't give your whole heart to him/her fully because that other person is holding a part of it.  How long it takes....Well that depends on you.  You have to ask yourself "How long am I going to allow this person to hold my heart?"  Take time, Heal, enjoy being single, and when you feel no presence of the other person then you are over them.  Of course when you see them with some one else for a split second, you will go back there but if you do and when you are able to say, well good for them then you are definitely over them.  I hope this helped because I've been where you are and that is what I did.  Take care and be HAPPY!!!
658202
The best way to get over it, is to move on. Get a new love in your life, and devote 110% of your time and attention to him. You'll be amazed at how soon you'll be "over him'. Good Luck.....
1185608
I think you need to be honest with yourself and bring everything out in the open.There are reasons why you hurt so deeply,the only way to ever move past it is to go through it.The first thing you need to do is to know your worth,that yes things have happened in your life as they do us all some more than others.You have to take it as a learning experience it will only make you stronger in time,sometimes we can help others through our own trials,its not always easy you have to keep going though.Drinking and partying or any of these things you are doing its not healing your pain it wont its a bandaid.Get real ,loose the crutch,try to find positive people to surround yourself with,then you will see a positive outcome.If you really want things to change it will also help you to know that,God is always with you even when you are not with him,I hope that you can find the light to lead you out of such a dark place,I know its there I found it so can you,you just have to reach for it.May God keep watch after you.
1108176
Realize what happened and why. You have to make it clear to yourself that this is not all your fault. It takes two people to make a relationship start, and two people to have lead it to the break up. \n\nAccept your pain. Have your good long cries if you feel like it. It's okay to be hurt and feel alone and feel like you have messed up. \n\nBut you have to know that you are a good person and this is not all one-sided. \n\nThink through everything in your head. Maybe even try to ask yourself what went wrong. But you also have to think of why you two broke up. There had to have been a reason for it all to end, right? If there was a reason but it wasn't a good one, then this person isn't worth your time. \n\nDeal with the hate phase. This is where you want to just scream because you are so angry, even furious. The amount of anger you feel all depends on how bad the "split" was. You may even feel like you hate yourself, but get out of that feeling fast! It's a waste of time to be hating and ripping yourself apart for no reason. \n\nTalk to your friends. They are always a source of advice and help. If you are close with any family members, they may be a good source of advice/guidance. You want people around you that love you and who will help you see that you should love yourself too and that you don't need this sort of pain. \n\nWrite all your feelings down. Write in a journal or write poems. Most of all, be absolutely honest and don't edit yourself as you go. One of the best results of writing it all down is that sometimes you will be amazed by a sudden insight that comes to you as you are pouring out your thoughts onto paper. Patterns may become clearer and as your grieving begins to lessen, you will find it so much easier to "get" what you're supposed to be learning from the whole experience if you've been writing your way through it. No relationship is ever a failure if you manage to learn something about yourself from having gone through it all with your heart open to both joy and pain. Just because it didn't work out doesn't mean it wasn't a necessary part of your journey to becoming who you're meant to be. \n\nKeep fond memories. Sometimes there are things that remind us of another person. Say, you hear a song or see a picture that reminds you of your ex, you probably get all sad and worked up. \nWell, instead of feeling that way, try to think of how happy that memory used to make you, and leave it at that. \n\nDon't overreact. You may be feeling lonely, and want to be with someone, but don't go back to your ex unless you really believe you should be together. Likewise, don't jump into another relationship as a rebound, just to make yourself feel better. It's not fair to the other person, and will eventually lead to another breakup. \n\nFind happiness in other areas of your life. Whether that means spending time with your friends and family, taking up that class you've always wanted to take, or reading every book on the New York Times bestseller list, remind yourself that there's more to life than being in a relationship. Indulge in those things. \n\nLet go. See that there is no sense in still being heartbroken, regretful, and having hatred toward that person. Realize that although your relationship with that person was very unique and special in a lot of ways, all good things must come to an end. \n\nAnd when they do, that's when you see all the flaws in your relationship and that it's best that you aren't together. \n\nTips \nYou have to walk out of your heartache, knowing that you have done all that you can do, said all that you can say, and given as much as you could give. If you feel all this and that you did your part, but he or she didn't meet you halfway, then you'll be just fine. \n\nDo not put yourself through more pain than you have to. Do not think about where he or she would be right now and if you sh
1024437
A broken heart is one of the worst pains to endure.\n\nI wish you well, and can tell you from experience, it gets much, much better. Be specific about what you want in a relationship, and I promise, you will find what you are looking for......or that person will find you. I'm not kidding. Happened to me, after the harshest broken heart that I thought I could ever undure.\n\nKeep on rollin'!
669574
It takes a long time to heal a broken heart. Take it 1 day at a time. Allow yourself a certain time every day to think about him, cry laugh whatever.  Think positive happy thoughts about the 2 of you. Lean on your friends for support. Remember him with love.  Try to get on with your life the rest of the time, keep busy so you,re not always sitting around feeling sad. It will take time , but you'll get there.
715882
Dear Next,\n\nFood does not help.\nA new lover does not help.  \nShopping does not help.\n\nPeople mean well but they don't help.\n\nThe ONLY thing that helped me to heal from a very broken heart was to read the Bible from cover-to-cover.  I got laid off from my job after my husband of more than 20 years filed for divorce.  There was no work available in the area and I got 15 weeks of severance pay so I proceeded to read The Daily Walk Bible.\n\nIt was so good I couldn't put it down and I finished it in 90 days.  The divorce still went through shortly after our 25th anniversary but I was able to heal.  The Bible showed me how much my heavenly Father really loves me and better yet, He is not fickle.\n\nAre you familiar with The Father's Love Letter by Barry Adams?  It is quite beautiful and I'd be happy to paste it and or the link if you are interested.
366190
There isn't a way to "Cure" a broken heart.  Time is the only thing that mends it.  I've tried everything and I can tell you that ONLY time will work. \n\n However, there are things that you can do during this time that will make it mend stronger.  Get involved with your friends again.  I know that you left them behind to be with that girl.  So start going out with them.  Have some fun and go out to eat and then a movie.  Go on an adventure like rafting or go help a charity.  \n\nPutting other things higher on the list than that girl will help you mend stronger.  The more things that you have on your mind besides her, the better things will be.
551249
Breakups happen and its usually for the better when they do.  That's hard to see sometimes when you're the one involved in the breakup but try to take a step back and look at what led to the break up.  Was it really a surprise to you or should you have seen it coming?  \n\nTake the pain you feel for what it is, an indication that you are human and capable of emotion.  You are alive, you are real, so yes, it hurts.  But it will get better.  \n\nNow is the time to rely on friends and family to help you through.  Talk to them but most of all LISTEN to them too.  You will hear things about yourself or your past relationship that you may not like but this is a time to learn.  Just like you learn not to stick your hand on a hot pan because it hurts, you will learn how not to involve yourself in a relationship that is guaranteed to end painfully.  That doesn't mean you won't ever get burned again but you will be prepared in your own mind for what ever happens.  \n\nMost importantly, if you are considering hurting yourself because of the pain of your breakup, call a crisis hotline immediately, talk to your Parents immediately, get yourself help immediately.  No relationship should ever cause you to want to hurt yourself.
7299
Someone once told me that it takes 2 times the length you had feelings for the other person to get over that person.  If your feelings lasted 4 years, it will take 8 years to heal!!\n\nI agree that time is really the only remedy for a broken heart.  Take some time to think about how life was before you started the relationship.  Think back to those "happy" memories.  Do things on your own or with a few close friends of yours.  Keep yourself busy.  If you can find lots and lots of thing to do, the time to heal will flash by in a blink of an eye.  There are many things to do to keep a mind occupied!! haha
671237
A broken heart is a broken heart.  Take time to get past\n\nthis before even considering "liking" another girl.  You \n\ndid not give your age as this could have a bearing on \n\nthis situation.  Keep a place in your heart for her.  Most\n\npeople have a first love & they will always be that. \n\nInstead of another girl at this time concentrate on your\n\nschool work and/or job. Be involved in group get togethers, \n\nsports, clubs, church, etc.  You are responsible for your \n\nhappiness, not her.  Luckily, people survive a broken \n\nheart. Wish her the best in life and let her live her life\n\nas she chooses.  In all likeness, you're both too young for\n\nany type of committment.  \n\nI wish you the best and know that you are not alone in the\n\n"I can't get her to want me" department. I don't know you\n\nwell enough to offer any further advice.  Again, I wish you\n\nsmiles.
62587
Realize you can't depend on other people to complete you, make you whole, or fulfill your dreams.  Broken hearts do hurt, I've been there.  Not to preach at you, but if you seek the truth you will find it- Jesus Christ will be your satisfaction, your most important relationship, and romantic relationships along with life itself will have a divine sense of purpose. Broken hearts, though they can still happen and hurt, won't take center stage in your life and will be a lot easier to get over.  And I almost forgot- don't settle for less of a man than you dream for, never get the idea you can "fix" a guy and have him change into who you dream for.