What can I do about an abusive ex that wont leave me alone??
370584
Is it to the point where you can call the police to get a restraining order? And if so, have you done that yet? Some people do think they are outside of the law, and ignore such "orders". The police, sometimes, will say "well, if he hasn't DONE ANYTHING, then we can't charge him..etc", which is totally ridiculous, what are they waiting for? Something horrible to happen before they realize that something needs to be done?\nIf you CAN'T obtain a restraining order because of such reason as stated above you need to do some things to keep yourself safe, and to SHOW to the police.\nFirst of all, put 911 on #1 of your speed-dial of your phone. Second, keep a journal on EVERYTHING he does - phone-calls, exactly what he says, if he shows up at your house, mark down the day, time, exactly what he says, or does etc. TELL HIM IN NO UNCERTAIN TERMS THAT HE IS NO LONGER WELCOME AND CANNOT JUST SHOW UP AT YOUR HOME, OR PLACE OF EMPLOYMENT, OR CALL YOU OR BOTHER YOU AGAIN! If you are REALLY scared of physical harm, go to a Safe House (Home for Abused Women), and call the police from there, or call the police and ask them to TAKE YOU THERE! \nGood luck, and God Bless You. I hope soon you feel safe and secure in your home!
916720
Sweetie, just because he isn't physically abusing you doesn't mean he's not still abusing you.  He's traded in the fists for emotional abuse.  That's what he's doing when he tells you he hates you and other hurtful things.  You need to get out of that relationship as soon as you can.  get yourself into some counseling so you understand why you chose to be with an abuser, and move on.  I understand completely where you're coming from, I've been there.  Since I've gone to counseling and stuff, I've come to understand myself so much better.  You will, too.  When you do, it will help you choose a different type of guy.....one that won't abuse you.  I've finally found my Mr. Right, and you will, too.  You just need to get out of this relationship.  Email me if you want to talk some more.  I'm a good listener :)
1144292
PLEASE GET OUT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!\nTHE SIGNS OF AN ABUSER ARE DEFINATELY WHAT YOU DESCRIBED!!!!!!!!\n\nIT CAN ONLY GET WORSE!!!!!\nHE CAN GET HELP BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD STAY WITH HIM.\nYOU TWO NEED A TIME APART WHILE HE GETS HELP THOUGH.\n\nI DON'T KNOW ABOUT ANY PARTICULAR PROGRAMS BUT I'M SURE YOU CAN FIND SOME ON THE INTERNET OR IF YOU ASK AROUND.\n\n\n\nBUT GET OUT!!!!!!!!!!
154716
TELL HIM TO LEAVE YOU ALONE
472528
HE needs to tell her to go away and forget it.  Then, you praise him.  Be mature, violence never solved anything.  Plus, if YOU warn her off, it might make her all the more determined.
1149976
Sounds like he's doing drugs.\nIf he has been physically abusive it is time to get out no matter how much you think you love the guy.\nThere is someone else that will treat you better.
599422
trust me ive been there get away from him. that kind of life is not the way to go. please listen to me i know from experiance
721181
Tell him straight and dont frequent anywhere you know he will be and if he keeps appearing and harrassing you it would be wise to take out an AVO.  It is proven that jealouss boyfriends do become violent if they can't get what they want so don't muck around get rid of him today.
120331
Setup some type of camera or spy equipment to catch him.  When he comes around call the police and show them what you captured with your equipment - that way things are documented.  That would help you quite a bit.  Then work towards pressing charges and getting a restraining order.  That's how I ended up getting rid of a guy who beat and stalked me.
549579
Been there, done that - not an iota of fun. The guy is basically stalking you. My suggestion is the following:\n\n1) File a report with the local police. Even though they may not do anything about it yet, at least it will be in their papers should your ex's abuse continue and/or escalate. \n\n2) Gather ALL evidence. Set up a new e-mail account, get a new phone-number - every measure necessary to restrain his options of being able to contact you. Nonetheless, keep the old phone-number - but let it go directly to the answering-machine. Save the messages - as they will prove your claim if you are forced to drag him to court and (or get a restraining order. Also save all e-mails he sends you for the same reason as above. If he sends you gifts, you shall keep them - whatever he gives you, keep it. This is all about gathering evidence.\n\n3) Tell people around you not to tlak with him due to his stalking. He will pursue alternative means of getting go you, and using your friends and family as a source of information is fully justified in his mind.\n\n4) NEVER EVER talk with/to him - regardless how tempting it may be. For a stalker, even a "F**k off" will be interpreted as a positive gesture. He will interpret "Leave me alone" as a "Oh, I want you to chase me" and so on. If you give in to the temptation once, he will know that it only takes more perservance on his side to get you to answer again and again and again.\nAlso, never tell him what you intend to do unless he leaves you alone. In the event that going to the police does not produce immediate results, your stalking ex will view your plans and intentions as nothing but empty threats.\n\n5) Tell your current boyfriend how much the ex is bothering you. Your ex is currently attempting to drive a wedge between you and your new BF as the ex cannot see you with another man. Any man for that matter except himself. He desires comlete control of your life in every and any aspect, and you do NOT want to subject yourself to that.\nAs for your current BF, if he is not willing to support and help you through this, then he is not worth keeping. Sorry for being so harsh sounding, but it is sadly true. If he loves and cares about you, then he will stay on your side - regardless.\n\n6) Find out if there are any support-groups for stalking-victims in your area - and you will find that you are not alone. The internet also provides different fora that are worth-while looking into - especially what the legal side is concerned.\n\nI broke up with the ex from hell 1 1/2 years ago, and he is still stalking me, thankfully not to the same extent as previously, but I receive e-mails (I changed phone-numbers and got a new e-mail address) from him once or twice a month, and it is still bloody annoying and scaring.\n\nGood luck, this will take time and toil - but know that you are not alone in this hellish situation. I feel for you.
92886
Stop being used by this person.  Make yourself unavailable and move on.
499025
This is how every serial killer movie starts off isn't it?  I would limit your contact as much as possible till he has his shit together. Try setting a schedule I will call you at X time on X day, and let him know that you are an independent person, and while you will support him he does not own you nor does he control your life. Set Limits! if he flies off the handle hang up on him and don't pick up until you're sure it's not him. Don't be afraid to cut him out of your life completly if you feel the stress is too much.
1153472
get away from the abuser. and tell some one. ANYONE!!! you don't want to be by your self on this! and if it really was me then the abuser wouldn't be around very much longer :)
317068
This guy is one messed up creep.  He lied about you too.  That is unforgivable.  Even if you had done it, him telling people is unforgivable.  You need to tell him in no uncertain terms to leave you alone or you will get a restraining order and follow through.  Start documenting the harrassment, you will need it to get the restraining order.  If you have to, you can add call block to your phone and block his number and everytime he calls from a new number hang up and immediately block that too and don't forget to document it for the courts.  This guy is sick.
333184
He is a classic abuser. He won't change. The longer you stay with this jerk the more you will get hurt physically and emotionally. You could end up imprisoned and/or dead. So dump him. If you're having trouble doing that see a therapist to help you. Remember the sooner you get rid of him the sooner you will be happy.
492798
Tell him to take out a restraining order on her. Even if the magistrate won't issue one, just the fact that he's tried may be enough to shut her up.
177020
Why would u stay with someone that beats u? For 3 years? Get out and get a restraining order, it will be hard but in the long run it will make you stronger and you will be much happier and safe.