How do you tell your loved one that you have to move out, because her adult child is destroying the home?
356512
Talk to your wife! Tell her the situation without getting upset with her. She loves her daughter and knows that her daughter is out of control but who will take care of that child her daughter had? Maybe she feels it is safer for the grand baby to be with the two of you and not left all alone some where. It does seem too much for someone of 23 to act with such disrespect and she seems childish in a way. Set rules with her and tell her it is your home and not to bring strangers into your home again! If u set boundaries and that doesn't work then i would make her leave your home instead of ruining your marriage! I would only leave your wife if she wouldn't respect your wishes for things to change and put her foot down as well. Good luck!
911780
might sound like the easy way out, but make stuff up.   Or you tell them it's none of their business.  Or you can just be very vague and not get into details.   good luck.
1076798
Try to stay with some close friend or relatives.  Even if you don't have anyone that lives around you - contact your family that lives out of state and tell them your situation and that you need to get out.  Most people are pretty understanding when it comes to physical abuse -especially of a family member.  Stay with a family member for a while until you can get on your feet.  \nIt will be hard for you to leave, but if he's abusing you - you need to get out.  You don't want your daughter growing up thinking that what he does is ok, and you certainly don't want him hitting her.  Get in touch with any family you can and get out of there asap.
884861
The law states that she must first serve you with a notice to quit and then go to court for legal eviction.  She can not tell you that you must move because of relatives coming.  If you have a signed lease then you have the law on your side.  She has to have a good reason to evict you.  If you are late on your rent or destroyed the property then she can keep your security deposit but just because she wants to let others live there she can not do that.  Contact your local housing authority for a copy of tenents rights.  She can not remove  your things or have utilities shut off to force you to move either.  Good Luck.
1147164
Confront her and tell her she is bordering mental abuse and if it doesn't stop she is no longer welcome to come to the house with him. Suggest counseling for her. She is definitely lashing out at him for her short comings and that can be worked out.
215312
NOOOOOOOOO! it is not your obligation. you need to have some tough love with this child! Lay down the rules, and tell her that if she can't live with these rules that she is 20 years old and is free to move out. You are babying her! If you don't help your daughter find confidence in her abilty to take care of herself she may live with you FOREVER!!! or at least rely on you each time she is "down and out"
70965
call a relative .. grandma is best and have them contact your mother to tell her that .. her daughter? .. needs her or whatever the situation is .. tell the relative to tell your mother .. if you cannot stay with him because of abuse or something you need to contact an authority .. tell a relative what's going on and that you need to get out of the house
602374
mmm, have you talkeed to her about it?\n\npeople generally don't just disapear without reason. \n\nare there fights in your family?\n\nIs she happy with her life where he is?\n\ncan any of the problems she's having where she is be fixed.\n\nmake an effort to make her life better and she wont want to leave it.
1139939
Well since my home is my castle.....\nShe needs to be put in her place immediately.  Thats YOUR home, and you have every right to set her straight.  Doesnt matter how long they've been together.  One does NOT enter anyone's home without knocking.  That's simply rude and disrespectful.\nAs for calling her Aunt, I'd suggest (to her) they may do so when she becomes their aunt (via marriage)\nAs for moving in with mom....That's a matter for mom and her son!  Now if you feel that's all too harsh.  Then I'd have a family confab, and bring it all out, with all present.  That way e/one gets to speak their peace openly, and it does not become a 'he said, she said' kinda thing.\nTake charge of your home, and I wish you the very best!
815327
Be there for her. Listen to her when she complains, help her understand that its not her fault. Try not to make judgements on the family. Support her.
715385
Just be honest with him and tell him that you need his room for the new child, and that you will be happy to help him look for a new place to live. Tell him that you will give him his last month free so he can use that money to help offset the cost of paying rent and probably a security deposit to move to a new place. Perhaps help him try and get into low income housing for senior citizens where he will have security and people closer to his age. If he gets too upset with your suggestion that he needs to move...drop it and tell him he can stay. Then, just work around things til he does pass away. But, don't stress him out too much or you will feel really guilty if anything does happen to him then.
314599
I have just moved in with my Gran and it is hard, Just try and be understanding with her and if she is upsetting you calmly talk to her.
625840
Depending on how old you are, you move out.  He's older and he's never going to change.  My father is the same age and is like this.  Our relationship got a lot better after I moved out.  He's very protective and critical of his little girl.  So I grant him that.  I'll give him the respect of listening to the important stuff and asking his advice on important stuff.  But if he busts me on stupid little things, I just say, yeah, yeah, yeah and ignore him.  Pick your battles and don't rise to the bait.  He's probably just trying to show his authority.  If you give him some authority in your life and simply let it roll of your shoulders on the stupid stuff, he'll get the hint and will appreciate the times you do give him control.  He's your father, and it's hard for father's to let their kids grow up.  He will get the hint though.  Eventually, children and parents reach a compromise.  Good luck!
412093
You seriously need to make some serious changes. You have to create boundaries. It sounds like the requests you have made are falling on deaf hears. It seems to me you are trying to make everyone happy except yourself. Tell them if you are going to live in my house these are the rules if they don't like them they can leave. When your mom came back you could of asked her why are you here? When she said why do i have to tell them to pay the electric bill, it was because she is the one who invited them to stay. The things you are going to have to do will be uncomfortable. Your family will not like the new assertive you. Your mom is dependent on you and you are her co dependent. When she threatened you by saying she was going to leave and you said fine go ahead she was testing you. She did leave but she came back and you let her stay. So now what you say and what she says and your actions don't match. It's like when a parent tells his child no but then lets them have what they want. You have to back up what you say with actions and stick to them. You have fallen into the role of parent. You are not the parent you are the child but now your mom is acting like the child and now you are her parent. I think she should help you more. Do you want your brothers there? You did nothing wrong what i think you possibly feel is guilt because it is your mother and you feel obligated but your not obligated. No one should be taken advantage of.
934475
There are a lot of answers that say call the cops, and by all means do so!!! Sometimes though they won't do a damn thing about it, he will probably become enraged and the abuse will get worse. If this is the case pack what you need and move out when he's gone somewhere. I know of a neighbor of mine that did just that. She moved form here to somewhere back east while her abusive hubby was at work. \nGood Luck!!!!
474072
Really difficult.......it sounds to me that he is fighting you all because it's easier than trying to get along for him right now.  I would sit him down and without getting angry just explain that there are going to be rules in your household from that moment on.  One of them being that no bad language is used.  I wouldn't give him random jobs to do but set a weekly agenda so he knows exactly what is expected of him.  Also have job lists for the other children.  Get them all to agree that they will complete there tasks, then he won't feel picked on the moment you ask him to do something.  You will just have to accept that his time spent in his other home is going to be his 'fun' time because his girlfriend etc is there.  Don't allow him to use this as a stick to beat you with.  The facts are he lives with YOU in YOUR house and must obey the house rules.  \n\nThe sitting in his room alone sounds a little worrying.  I think he wants people to come in to try and coax him out - it may be for attention or it may be that he just likes sitting on his own doing his own thing.  If there is someone in the house that he gets on the best with then send them into him occassionally to just chill with him for 5-10 minutes, stick your head around the door and just ask if he's OK.  \n\nHe is proably unhappy about his situation - every kid would prefer to be living with his real mom and dad.  He will get used to it but the more you fight with him the more you lose!  Set the rules and stick by them - not just for him but for everyone.  Good Luck.
81816
IF THE PERSON IN QUESTION IS CONTROLLING YOU IN SOME ASPECT'S, THEN YOU NEED TO LEAVE THAT PERSON BECAUSE THE PERSON'S GOING TO WIND UP HITTING YOUR OR POSSIBLY WORSE.\n\nIF YOU'RE STAYING JUST FOR THE KID'S, THEN GOTO  AN AGENCY THAT WILL HELP YOU AND THE OTHER PERSON WITH THE PROBLEM'S THAT YOU BOTH ARE HAVING DUE TO THIS NATURE!\n\nTRY TO GET THEM TO GOTO COUNSELLING, MAYBE, THAT'LL HELP FOR YOUR RELATIONSHIP TO GET BETTER AND BLSSOM.