How do you teach your Grandmother to suck eggs........?
361207
Grab gran in one hand, grab egg in other. Clap.
830791
Rub her G spot when you give her oral.
1157221
approch her grandmother first and when u approch her have information on how she can get help because she won't admit that she has an eating disorder
1001027
just be there for her. it is hard seeing our grandparents bedridden and weak. talk with her. my grandmother lived until she was 98 (my dad mother). don't listen to the first answer. that is a nasty thing to say to anyone. my grandmother would tell me stories about when she was a little girl and tell me things when I was younger. let her tell you things about when she was young. they are things you would never forget. remember grandma did not have a tv or radio or bathrooms in the house. we have color tv and radio and indoor bathrooms. and another thing kiss her and hug her and let her know you love her.
847922
Tell your grandmother you have pled her case as far as you can, that you are not responsible for mending a relationship that they destroyed.  \nThen, firmly, with a smile and kind gesture, tell your grandma that you are here now and want a relationship with her, but only if she is willing to let the past go, completely, and not try to wrangle you in the middle of it again.  Then, let her decide. And, let her actions tell you what to do.  \n\nRemember, your mother isn't speaking to this woman for reasons you can only guess at, unless you want to be the brunt of this old woman's meanness too, you set the rules and then follow them.\n\nPeople are always nice when they want something from you, as your grandma did when she asked you to talk to your mother for her, you are her only link to her daughter. You saw what happened, how she reacted, when you failed to give her what she wanted. Beware.\n\nKeep your heart open, but don't be fooled.
857594
Tell grandma to relax and let someone else chew up the air for a while. She's your grandma, she's older and deserves courtesy, but she isn't made of glass so she won't break and she knows better than anyone when she's overstepping the boundaries, unless of course, she's been running amok for so long she doesn't recognize them anymore. In which case, point them out.  Say to her "This is my wife, she is here because she enjoys your company, I am going to do some chores for you and I expect to get her back in the same cheerful mood I am leaving her with you.  Got it Grandma?" and then smile, wink or kiss her on the top of the head or the cheek, so that she knows you love her, but that you aren't letting her blacken you or your wife's mood.  Give your wife a flag to waive if you have to, but bring grandma down to earth once in a while.  Leave if you have to, in the middle of your chores or your wife's visit, if she doesn't heed your warning. \n\nExpect from  your grandma the same as you would from anyone else.\n\nEverybody loves to run amok, older people, young people, we all do what we want until someone tells us no. Say no.
50463
Maybe you could make something for her yourself. Im sure she would really appreciate the thought of a handmade gift. I usually do something like that for my Grandma, shes 78.  She has pretty much everything she needs and she likes to cook and bake, but cant be on her feet too long, so Ive made her some of those layered mixes in a jar, she loves them because she just has to add a couple things and the jars look so pretty!  You can find lots of recipes for them on the internet.  If you like to sew maybe you could make her a handmade throw or pillow.  Or maybe even offer to cook her a special dinner one night.  Hope my suggestions help!
762213
that is a tough one.. so heres my best idea\ncut off the bottom of one cup with scissors\nshred the rest of the cut cup into tiny little peices to make foam bits like they have in packaging boxes\nput some of this "packaging" foam into the botoom of the other cup\nput in the egg, and fill around it with more "packaging" foam\nput the circle cap on top and use the toothpicks through the sides to keep the cap in place.  make the toothpicks go from the outside of the cup, over the cap, and then back through the cup in a different place. you dont have to make the toothpicks go through the center of the cup. they can be on the sides as long as they hold on the cap.  the "packaging" foam should be smaller pieces towards the bottom of the cup, and bigger pieces towards the top.  hope this works..  Good Luck
393077
Start with licking and sucking her toes then work your way up. Pausing for a bite along the way.
778460
Offer her some...get her addicted to it ...I'll in rich both of your lives....sharing is caring.
636486
First, I call her when I wake up in the a.m. & tell her Happy Mother's Day & ask how she feeling, if she needs anything, what she wants to do, and I tell her THANK YOU for everything she's done for me & her grandkids & great-grandchildren. My brothers & myself go over to her house, which is like 5 mins. away and cook her brunch and stay all day with her and then my brothers grill porterhouse steaks, hamburgers & hotdogs. Then the rest of the family come over when they get it together and bring side-dishes and my sister-in-law makes the best cheesecake for all of us to eat. We call my sister, who lives in Bee Branch,Ark. and Mom talks to her 1st, of course, then depending on the weather we take her on a boat-ride and walk around Lieb's Island, Millersport,OH.(which means Love). She doesn't want any gifts/cards, just help around her house because she wants all of us to save money. My 5 Kids & 4 grandkids all ahow up to my Mom's and my Brother's 3 kids come over too, unless someone is sick or whatever, but they usually call. I tell my Kids the same thing my Mom tells us-Save your Money and I do need help at my house, but their all spoiled and it's really hard to get them to do anything for my Mom & myself. My grandkids make me a card with crayons or on the computer which means more to me than a present and when my kids were younger they use to do the same thing and in school, they would make me something very special and to this day, I keep everything they made for me and I always Pray for my whole family & that's how I celebrate myself on Mother's Day.
508291
Rip the papers up, stick them in an envelope and mail them to the crazy nut. Then buy yourselves a strong sturdy metal whistle. Next time they call, blow the hell out of that whistle then tell them oh sorry, you thought it was that  pervert that keeps calling you up. Send her pics of your baby's dirty diapers and add a note: Isn't this just the sweetest thing you ever saw? We wanted to share this special moment with you." Send her dirty dishes. Tell her you were going to send food too but you got hungry and ate it but she can lick the plate clean and still feel a part of your family meals. Send her dominos and a box filled with cheese. Tell her you are the domino champion and will plug her up like government cheese. \nI would drive that woman nuts and tell the stepfather he's next on my list.
374460
Get  them Impants , Screw those dentures down to the bone\nGet them a feeding tube. \nMove out of your mom's house.
740468
You should "one-up-him".  Teach her how to crush beer cans with her forehead.
312949
If she has grandchildren get a t shirt and material paints and have them leave handprints with their names on them. \n\nMake up a scrapbook with photographs of your childhood up through your adulthood. If you have any brothers or sisters do the same with their pictures \n\nOR you can even have a dvd personalized with the photos going from birth up to current. \n\nAt that age, they love the memories and the happy times. \n\nHave a nice dinner for her with roses and a nice cake. \n\nMake the day extra special for her. Do some chores for her. Make her queen for the day. :)\n\nOh Yes, Happy Birthday to your mother. :) \n\nFrom Michelle and her kitty Gunther. :)
677515
ask your mom and grandma when they had theirs for the 1st time. Around that age is your answer.
190847
Tell her to grow up and put them in a storage building.\nI used to have a ton of stuffed animals!  I just couldn't bear the thought of getting rid of them, so I didn't, I just put them in my parents attic.  Don't have her give them away, she might regret it one day when she has kids.