as adult how do i confront  mom?shes hurtful with words.I fear if  so she starts her dying and mental threats?
367630
I understand how you feel, you wonder sometimes why some people have children and don't deserve them.  Your mother is manipulative and sick, she has pressed all your buttons and knows where they are because she's the one who put them there.  She's toxic and needs to grow up.\n\nYou need to give yourself permission to be happy, you need to let go of the child inside of you and become the adult you were meant to be.  You need to believe you deserve to be happy.  Your mom made her world the way it is, and clings to you because she can.  I implore you to get some counseling so you can stand up for your right to happiness.\n\nYour mother has to realize she cannot manipulate you, she won't ever change, as people get older they get worse and you don't need this albatross around your neck.\n\nParents are our protectors, our nurturers, they are supposed to put us before themselves which is every parents obligation in life.  You don't owe her a thing, she owes you a good and healthy life.  You didn't asked to be born, let her stay in bed and "die" she's manipulating you and everyone else has figured that out.\n\nYou need to have some peace and some calm in your life.  It's too short and you don't deserve to be guilty.\n\nI hope you find the peace you seek.  Good Luck.
330407
mother knows best....she is your protector.  Listen to her.  Stay safe....
1017119
You can talk to your mom about how you feel about her partner.  Let her know you are worried for her safety as well as your own safety.  You can only let her know how you feel and try to point things out to her - you can't make her see the light or get rid of him.
40740
Honey your mom is going through a lot of stress right now and so are you. I can assure that she loves you and while she might be angry ( hell even PISSED) at you for sneaking out she will respect you being grown up enough to tell her what you did and why. Tell her how you are feeling and what you did. It is a fact of life that you have to accept the punshiment that goes with the "crime" so step up and maybe this conversation will help the two of you understand each other a little better in the long run.
367521
Sorry, about your mom. You must help her, but not only that you must be with her all the time and she must know that she can rely on you. Tell her that you love her - that is the most important, she must know you still care about her, and can be a good stimul for her to quit!
349248
Since you are concerned about her behavior I am led to believe that this is a drastic change. So, yes, you should be concerned. She needs to see a doctor as soon as possible for a complete physical. Be sure to document the changes you have witnessed. Write down everything you can think of before her appt. to make the most of your time with the doctor. Your mom is a lucky lady to have you.
778553
The whole situation doesn't really make sense.  Ask yourself what you did to make her call you that.  The other posters are right in that you should have respect for your mom and not call her names but she should also be teaching you respect by not calling you names.  The two of you need to talk about this and resolve the underlying issue.  Whatever it is that you did to make her call you what she called you, that's the root of your current situation and that needs to get addressed.  Why did you do it?  Why was she so angry at you that she forgot you're her daughter and call you names?  You reacted to her calling you what she called you but something precipitated that situation and you two need to hash that out.  Then, you have to apologize to her for doing what you did and calling her what you called her.  Only then, you can then tell her that you didn't appreciate what she called you.  It's not right, but she is your mom and she's going to look at you as the less powerful of the two as long as you continually act like a child and react and cause her to react.  If you talk to her like an adult, woman to woman, in a calm, assertive, respectful manner, hopefully, she'll see you maturing and mature herself.  Then you guys won't be calling each other names and you won't be grounded.  However, if that doesn't happen and in some future point she does call you a name, you take a deeep breath, DON'T say anything, turn around and walk away.  She's your mom and you have to learn how to deal with her in a respectable manner and if you want respect, you have to demand it by treating others in the way you want to be treated.
1037922
First, Darlin', know that she wants 2 things. One, to be valuable, and two, she really is trying (in her own way) to look out for you. My son (Ian) and I just had this conversation yesterday. He (Ian) is almost 28 now and we were talking about Mike, his brother (they are twins) who got engaged at 20 to a woman 7 years older than he was. At the time I told his brother that he was too young and inexperienced to be ruling out his options, and that marring a woman that did have experience would mean that he would never win an argument with her or be equal in the relationship. He (Mike) thought I was raining on his parade. Yesterday his brother (Ian) and I were talking about how it is so hard to shut your mouth when you have had years of experience and know what your children don't. Ian was saying that he wished that his brother (who is now married with a small child) had listened, and that he can now really understand how frustrating it is for a parent to have experience and want to protect their child. \n\nIt is really hard on your mom for you to grow up. She is afraid that you won't need her anymore and she is trying to prove her worth by giving advice, a little too enthusiastic, I agree, but still, try to keep where she's coming from in mind. So, why don't you try this. The next time you are expressing a thought and she cuts you off, say "wait just a second, Mom. I really want to know what you think and I want to make sure you have all my thoughts before you give me yours, that way you will have all the information and I won't have to interrupt you." Try it and let me know if it works. If it doesn't, I can think of a couple of other tactics. \nGood luck!
484863
family relations are internal. don't expose it others. be patient. love your mother. explain your feelings to her. tell her to be your guide and philosopher  for better life. still if she feels not wait till she cooperates with you.
646674
no your mother doesn't hate you! moms are just people and sometimes they make mistakes, but its not your place to tell her that she is wrong, she's the mom. often times if you want to be heard you have to make sure you are 'presenting your case' in a reasonable and respectful manner, even if what you are saying makes sense nobody is going to hear you if you are ranting and raving, i'm not saying that you are just letting you know. when you are both calm and reasonable tell her you'd like to talk to her, think about what you will say beforehand and stay calm.
99954
As a Mother of 4 children fron ages 25 to 9 yrs old, & with out knowing how old you are. I would suggest the older mature road. I know my self, that if my 17 yr comes to me with a "I'm right & i will be heard additude" I shut down. When they come to me calmly & mostly talk about incommon stuff. See what type of mood shes in, then if the time is right, Just planly say " Mom I realy would like to talk to you & would like you to hear what i am saying. 95% that  will open a line between you too where she will be able to hear you. I can not say that you will get what you want, But If not for any other other reason you have showed her that you are able to communacate with her on a more mature level.. Trust me that will help you down the road.. I hope i have given you a little help..
774864
try to get along with her. i know it is difficult but your mom is always going to be your mom. unless your health and safety is in compromise work things out
726229
Mom???  J/K.  My younger sister threatened my mother like that not too long ago, sister said she was going to move in with me or her dad.  Well, I heard this and told her there was no way in hell I would put up with her crap and if she thought for one second that she would just move in with me she was sadly mistaken.  If your daughter really feels that way, let her move in with sis or dad and see what that's all about.  It sounds to me like it's just a threat, if and when it comes right down to it she's not going to move in with dad or sis.  If that was a viable option, don't you think she would have done it by now?  She's bluffing, call her bluff.  If you want to move to a better area she needs to be adult enough to realize that you are making a decision that will better your life and hers, and at 14 she should be able to wrap her little self-absorbed head around that.  You are still the adult in the relationship, she is the child and that's what she's acting like....a complete child.  Maybe you can try to include her in choosing where you two will live if you want to try to reason with her that is.  Sit down with her and tell her that you know she's upset about moving to a different area but you would really like her to go with you, blah, blah, blah, do the mom thing.  Maybe if you level with her and speak to her like an adult she will realize that you're not doing this to like totally ruin her life and she will come to her senses.  Good luck.  God, I can't wait to have children!  Hasn't anyone figured out how to skip right through those lovely teenage years?  Alcohol, lots and lots of alcohol.  I'm gonna make a great mom someday, don't ya think?
199535
Try to find out what makes her, happy, sad, angry, and relaxed. When you find out these things, then you'll know what to and not to do to press her buttons. People usually say try talking to herr, but if your mother isn't the talking type, write a letter, but try not to sound so dogmatic in the letter. Let her know how you feel, but in a respectful way.  Parents always try to say that we as young adults, we lack respect because we feel like we're practically grown, so make sure you give her the upmost respect, even you maynot think she deserves it at times, because as the bible says "Honor your Father and Mother, that way it may go well with you, and you may have length days upon the earth"
295252
I don't know if there is a way to really get over it. She is your mom.  I do know how you feel.  My relationship with my mom has always been strained I always just let her say whatever and took it.  I eventually backed away and we didn't talk for a while. Then we slowly started talking again.  We still talk but don't have a close relationship.  I would give it some time and let her cool down.  Hopefully she will come around.  Hang in there.  But remember that even if she is your mom she shouldn't put you down and she should support you.  So even if you do have a relationship again with her don't rely on her for emotional support.
843177
You are a good mom and my heart goes out to you, that's horrible.  Well, you have to pray for starters, ask God to take care of this for you.  And LISTEN.  That's the best thing you can do for those kids is let them vent, let them have a comforting place in your home......sounds like you provide that already so good on you.  That woman needs some serious couselling.  I'm afraid she won't change unless she decides to OR unless everyone involved can clear their head, be ready and strong, and STAND UP TO HER TOGETHER.  She's picking on her daughter because she can, that's what bullys do.  It will be hard but if you all stand together and tell her her ways are unacceptable, she may get worse for a while or she may not speak to anyone for a while, but she will be forced to think long and hard about it.  From there, the choice is hers.  She does not have the right to cause this much grief to all of you and she needs to decide to stop, or spend the rest of her life without you all.  Your son and daughter in law are blessed to have you, good luck.
854174
I'm not a doctor, but it sounds like your mother has a form of agoraphobia and is very depressed.  She needs therapy and perhaps medication to deal with it.  She also needs patience and understanding from you because this is not anything she can help on her own.  Try to find someone you can talk to also because this illness can be as hard on the  family as it is on the person who has it. Hopefully you can find someone, (an adult), at school or church, or even a friend's parent to help you or at least help you find help.  There are groups for children with parents who suffer from mental illness, see if you can find one.  Also, very very important, do not take her behavior personally.  There is nothing you have done or can do to change this . . . . . she needs professional help.  God Bless You.  Let us know how you are doing.  Many of us care.