Why is it when I am  (in the mood,) when my husband isn't home, soon as he walks in I am out of the mood.?
363508
I'm going to guess that he opens his mouth and says something that isn't romantic.  \n\nNext time you are in the mood, leave a note for him on the door.  Tell him the not say a word and that he is not allowed to speak for the next hour.  He is to open the door and get undressed and put on what you have laid out for him.  Have him meet you in the bedroom and take care of business.
484838
Are there guys that need to get in the mood?  If my woman is in the mood I will be in the mood.  If my woman is not in the mood I will try to get her in the mood.\nA woman trying to get a man in the mood just sounds wrong.
728313
I completely understand how you feel.  I hate being anywhere but home, it is an uncomfortable, anxious nagging want to escape pressure that you have to control and act like you don't feel.\n\nTell your husband, and his family you have other plans.  I say tell his family so he does not try to explain in a way they will not understand.  Maybe going every other time will make it easier for you to deal with.  Tell them you just need sometime to work on things at home...like your peace of mind, yeah, don't tell them that part. :))
710936
Congratulations on the dramatic weight loss!!!!!\n\nMy guess is that your husband is probably feeling a little left out.  What guy wouldn't, if you devoted that much energy into your weightloss.  Especially if he's used to you paying more attention to him.  Or maybe he is like most guys that have been married for a long time.....\n\nWhen we are together for a long time, we sometimes forget to keep flirting, dating, and making the extra effort to treat our partners like out #1 choice.\n\nWe sometimes tend to get a little self-absorbed with our own problems, obligations, and responsiblities.  We forget to actively try to fulfill out partner.  We assume that out mere presence fulfills them, that since we are there, then they should feel loved.\n\nWhen a new hobby, child, project, or habit moves in (in this case, your weightloss) then sometimes they feel slighted.  We forget that our perception of something is not exactly out partner's intent.  We react before giving them a chance to clarify their intent.  We assume that they meant something rather than just asking them.\n\nAnd sometimes we forget to pursue them like we did when the relationship was new.  When a relationship is new, our bodies go into overproduction of certain feel-good chemicals (adrenaline, dopamine, norepenepherine, endorphins, etc) and we feel that rush........which usually lasts for about 36 months, unless we take measures to stimulate those chemicals to be produced.\n\nAfter 36 months, that chemical overproduction usually subsides making way for new chemicals that promote long-term acceptance and comfort.  Kind of the way our metabolisms slow down by age 30, and we need to make extra effort to stay the same size and shape.\n\nThis is when it starts to take longer for our bodies to respond to each other, and we may even thing the fire is gone, or that we are no longer in love.  Big Mistake!\n\nSometimes, when one partner makes extra effort to take care of themselves or look good, then the other partner feels threatened, insecure, like they should be improving themselves, too (but they lack the motivation to).  It's like pulling the rug out from under them, once they got comfortable with the way things were.\n\nYour best bet is to not go tell him how you feel, but to change your behavior. guys are not socialized to talk about feelings, and often don't know how they feel.   Guys are more actions-oriented.   If you change your behavior, then he will automatically respond differently to you.\n\nRemember his ego needs.  We all want the same things from others, but guys especially are sensitive to things they would never ask us for or tell us about.\n\nRemember to appreciate him, to respect him, to challenge him, to admire him, to need him, to pursue him, flirt with him, treat him like you think he's sexy and deirable, that he is skilled and powerful, and sought after.  Treat him like your #1 choice, and that you are lucky that he loves you.  Do this daily.  Give this freely, without exception or conditions.  Even when he's a crabass, take the high road, and love him anyway.\n\nTry to walk in his shoes.  Tell him how you think he must be feeling once in a while.  Even if you're wrong, just guess how you would feel if you were him.  It shows him you are aboe to see beyone your own perspective.  Seek to understand before expecting to be understood.  This is how you teach him how to treat you.  He learns how to do the same with you.  You inspire him to act differently by modifying your own behavior.\n\nHe might possibly be feeling intimidated by your drive and your success, and maybe a little inadequate or emasculated.  Let him know that he's the man.\n\nIt would be self-defeating to let your self-worth be determined by his approval.  Don't change yourself too much to try to please him.  Make him come to you with what he needs, and be willing to give it to him.  Chances are he just wants to be the man, to be powerful, attractive
1080062
well sometimes we can't help who we fall in love with and believe me I fully understand your situation. There are several reasons why men that say they are unhappy at home won't leave, sometimes it's because they might be unhappy but the wife has no idea there is a problem. But sometimes there is no real problem at home and he just wants something more. What you do depends on how long you are willing to wait if you can't take it anymore then it might be time to move on.
329086
MY CHILD FATHER IS A ONE OF THOSE SLOW MOVERS AFTER HE GOT ME AND MOOD SWINGS ARE AWFUL. YOUR SITUATION LOOKS LIKE U NEED TO MOVE ON BUSY OR NOT HE COULD SET A TIME TO CONVERSATE WITH YOU EVEN IF YOU DONT SEE EACH OTHER UNTIL THE WEEKEND OR SET SPECIAL NIGHTS .. SORRY ABOUT ALL CAPS DIDNT NOTICE UNTIL I WAS ALMOST FINISH typing ... Good luck if you continue to continue your search
560150
It would depend on which way the ball's rolling.  Is it that YOU don't feel the spark for your husband, or He is no longer attracted to you?  If you don't want to, it could be from being tired from your duties as a mother, in which case you need some rest and some time off, maybe a night or two away with your husband.  It could be from post-partum depression, in which case you probably need to see a Dr. (don't ask Tom Cruise).  If HE is not attracted, walk around the house naked.\n\n(added later) I like opyankees idea, about the panties at the dinner table.  Awesome.
1085206
oh man i feel sorry for you. i think she is stressed out about something. do you pay attention to her? take her out, just the two of you, somewhere romantic. do more things together. talk to eachother at night before falling asleep. dont let this go on forever. if you dont talk to her then she will think everything is okay and will continue.\noh gosh. i feel horrible. when i get stressed out and really tired at night, i become really mean. and its not that its directed towards my husband. i just cant deal with doing stuff when im tired. i get really angree about anything. i wish i can stop. im working on it. i told my husband that he needs to tell me to stop when it gets out of control.\ni think its hormone too. your wife might be doing this becus of her lady hormones.\nthe best thing to do is sit down and talk to her about this situation. dont let her continue like this. be supportive of her and tell her you will help her. if she gets upset becus you want to help her, that is just normal rejection. continue to be supportive.
359803
If you love him don't leave him but you do need to find out why you are having these feelings.  I think alot of people go through stressful times and become uninterested in sex.  It is also possible you may be having some hormonal issues.  If the problem doesn't get fixed soon though he may start to have a wandering eye.  I hope everything works out for you.\n\nGood luck and God Bless!  :)
296322
Do you have a sick feeling in the pit of your stomach when he leaves the house, talks on the phone, does anything without you? If so, then probably yes. If you feel something is wrong then it probably is. Keep a close eye on him, check is email, cell phone bill, be a spy! Don't feel guilty about it either. Follow him if you need to.. be sneeky! Good Luck!
566398
mine cuddles with me and only when he too is tired. he is horny 99% of the time but kinda knows when i want it and not. i would wonder what was up if he stopped doing it one day. i tell him when im not in the mood and he respects that..  :)
246861
your husband sounds like a loser\ni think you need to leave him for someone who will come home to you
1010924
So it is ok when you are tired and not interested, but not ok when he is tired and not interested?\n\nMaybe there is something going on here that isn't about you and your needs...
71552
In all honesty, just be blunt about it.  There is now reason why he shouldn't want to be with you.  I can relate to an extent because my wife wants it all the time all day and we have only been married for just over a year.  But I have been away from home the entire time and when I came home she made it sound like that is all she wanted out of me over the phone.  don't get me wrong I wanted it just as much, but just feeling like thats all she wanted made me feel less of myself.  \nI don't think you are in such a situation, but I still feel the best way is to come and say in.
7934
Just tell him.  If there is more to it, tell him that also.  Even more, tell him why you aren't in the mood.  Most women I know are down, never not "in the mood."  But if you aren't in the mood, there is a reason.  Work fatigue.  Bad day.  That is all good.  Just tell him.  Now if there are underlying reasons....be upfront.  Just my 2 cents.
214647
If you hadn't said you haven't married for a long I would have probably known. I think you don't "know" your husband yet. I personally don't agree with such kind of behaviours but I think this unusual thing you see stems from somewhere else. This can be a "sign" to you which shows your husband has some sort of psycological problem which should be cured. You can eventually find the root of this if you continue your marrage. Time will show this to you and it cannot be hidden of course if you don't get divorced. Its your decision. If you continue your marrage and live with him you might as well be able to help him. If you just tell him not to do this action and even if he doesn't, you haven't solved anything, you have just covered the problem. But of course don't go up to him and say ' you have psycological problem' he might get upset !
593372
hi sorry to hear this...well its true about working late...i was and still am a repo man it calls for long hours..i am the same way..when i get home i do alot of the same..internet,movies,t.v...whatever.. it does take a while to unwind and let the day slip away..then when your unwound and ready for bed..your just waking up..its hard i know this aint what you wanna hear but he has to want to spend time with you..he has to compramize..with your feelings..i had to as well..how long has he worked 2nd shift? if he recently started doing the 2nd shift this will fade away..he will become tired sooner and be in bed with you sooner..i hope i helped if you have any further questions...please dont be afraid to e mail me and ask...good luck