Any suggestions on putting a little zing back into a 15 year marriage?
357880
You need to fall in love all over again.  Try planning a weekend at a hotel together.  Pamper a woman and make them feel that she is all you want.  Women love to have attention and if she gets that from you, she will return the same affection.
700615
I was just thinking tonite...God...how boring my marriage is....there is no romance..no love ...no communication....but...what do u do...leave...the thought of starting over again is scarey....but staying in a relationship that will not change is depressing...let me know if u figure it out....maybe that should be my next posting!  good luck
726181
Once the passion has faded and you've been living under this bad cloud, it's hard to change your feelings about someone.  It's been a lot of water under the bridge.  With respect to you family and children, it might be too much to expect that you will find the magic again with your husband, even though you've become able to stand your own ground.  Contrary to those that will advise you to go to counseling and turn to religion, my guess is that it is a lost cause.  Thus your choice is to remain, yet life a double life which includes a discrete affair, or just part ways and move on.  Good luck with this decision, it's not easy for anyone.  Enjoy!
232276
Try going out and getting friends.  Go to play groups, take your kids to classes, go to the gym or something like that.  ou need a life outside of your marriage.
915240
Every marriage-  married young or older will change and get boring @ times If you let it\nYou both need time together away from the problems, worries, kids to reconnect\nYou need to date your spouse all over again
907924
First of all punkin, congratulations on 15 years of marriage!  I too have been married for 15 years, we make sure to have our date nights, maybe going to dinner or sometimes just for coffee.  We are a Christian couple.  We will watch movies (not x rated ones mind you) but we do watch secular r rated movies, as long as they are not too graphic.  We do share a bottle of wine from time to time, but never in excess.  I hope this helps a little.  God bless.
948644
Pretend you're starting all over again.\nLeave little love notes in various places where he/she will find them when you're not around.\nSurprise them with candy, flowers, little trinkets, whatever and a little note saying you love them.\nAlways say I Love You before you hang up the phone, or either one of you leaves the other to go anywhere.  Give a kiss too, if you can.\nWhenever the two of you go anywhere together hold hands with fingers interlocked.\nGo to regular little dates like you did when you were younger: ask each other out to the movies, out to dinner, to rollerskate, a picnic, a walk around the mall, a drive in a canyon, a mini honeymoon; there's a ton you can do!\nTry just making out and setting rules that you can't break.  This raises the excitement of lingering near the "no go zone".  Like, no sex making out, no touching, whatever.\n\nHope these few ideas help!
974228
Don't listen to all the negativity that people are posting.  You can make it through this if you are both wanting too..and it sounds like you want to very much and she is cautiously willing.  So that is good.\nYou are both young with a toddler and you're a newly married couple...so with all of these changes in your lives that can be alot to take on and manage. It is good that you are both realizing that there are changes that need to be made to make your family work. So suggest to her that you would be willing to go to counseling even if it is once a month or every other week.  It's not a bad thing to have someone in the middle of the issues to sort things out.  \nJust keep on being open with her and be honest on your wanting to change some things. Also take some time to take her out...just the two of you have an evening out once in a while...be silly have fun...just be together...I bet it's been a while since you have done that. If you combine those things together you are off to a great start.  \nAny relationship needs work and there will ALWAYS (no matter how long you are married for) be rough spots that need to be worked through...it's ongoing. But as long as both people are committed to each other and seeing the family thrive then your really working from a good foundation.\nDon't give up there is ALWAYS hope!!!  Best wishes to you in winning your wife back!!!
356278
it's easy to answer this. i have several for you to consider:\n\n1) if you're a God-fearing woman, you would let him back in the family as he IS your husband (considering neither he or you got re-married). a marriage, in God's eye, is sacred.\n\n2) if you don't care about God, and all you think about is you and your child, let him out of the family. he's hurt you and your kid already...what are the chances of him hurting you again?\n\n3) if all you care about is yourself, seek professional help.\n\n4) if you also care for your child growing up with a full set of parents, invite your husband back. do whatever it takes to make it work, keeping your child in the center of your relationship.\n\n#4 worked for me and my wife. we had a terrible time but we both agreed that our kids (ages 5 and 2) don't deserve not having the other parent. we love our kids so much that they helped us withour marriage, believe it or not. of course, I prayed to God everyday to help us inprove our marriage and I'm sure my wife did too!
398300
I have to say no.  My ex-husband and I tried that but it doesn't work because even if you don't say how you feel it doesn't mean you don't feel that way.  Then it seems like everything is bottled inside and eventually you blow up.  It's a nice idea but not very plausible.  Another thing in marriage is it's not always so hard to forgive it's the forgetting that's the problem.  So, my advice is find another way counseling, talking, or if that's not an option I hate to say but divorce is better than being your spouses "roommate", you can't just stop caring even if you think you can.
802744
Sometimes we get so caught up in our daily routine we forget how we got there in the first place.  There are ways to rekindle the passion: go out on a date (just the two of you) once in a while, make a "just us" evening once a week like sitting and listening to music together.\nMy partner and I usually designate Friday evenings for "us" time, we sit and watch a movie together (no matter how silly the movie is).
319551
My suggestion would be to start all over, let me explain.  When you were dating, before kids, before the wedding, what did you do?  Did you enjoy going to dinners?, movies?, hiking?  Whatever it was that brought you two to the point of falling love do it again.  Send the kids to grandma's for the weekend, get a babysitter for friday night and go to dinner.  Sure, it may feel a little weird the first few times you go out, but that's because you haven't done it in a while.  Start slow and build from there.  There's no majic trick to finding the spark again, you need to work at it, but it will come!  Remind yourself, and your spouse, why you fell in love and got married. \n\nHope this helps!
137395
My husband & I lived apart for a while and may have to do so again soon.  \n\nWe tried the following:\nPhone calls\nEmails\nDedicating a song at a local radio station to the other\nSending "local" things to each other\nVisiting as often as possible\nSnail mail with cologne and perfume on it to remind each other\nMaking each other CD's to listen to\n\nWe always knew where the other was (but went out with friends, etc- jealousy was not an issue), and kept up on the "little details" that you miss so much of when you're away.  We even had Thanksgiving dinner (made the same homestyle box meal w/ turkey in it at the same time) over the phone. We would rent the same movies, watch them the same night, then talk about it after. \n\nGood luck, and hang in there if he's worth it.
413799
I really believe that you need to court each other again. I know it sounds silly but we're talking about the rest of your life here. In life sometimes we loose sight of how we got there. good luck!
456224
Talk to your husband and ask him what it is he wants to to change if he is being reasonable take his suggestions into account and try to implement them, but don't go out of your way to make him happy at the expense of your own happiness. You love each other so you can work though this to make it work.
1018598
You know what? I don't think it is fair what some of the others have said..i think it is entirely possible to lose abit of that...and what you need to do is relive a lot of the past...remember a lot fo the romantic things you did for him and sneak those things back in to your repetoire...by that I mean...I sent my wife an Easter card when she went back to see her family in South America and she loved it..my wife and I started off by writing and emailing and while we've known each other for 11 years we've been married for 7.  I always try to do things, read old letters, look at pictures and read diaries of things we did together and I try to do them again...go to fine restaurants (tough with a child) but we do what we can.  I haven't fallen out of love with my wife but I think that it is necessary for you to start dating your husband on a weekly basis so that it doesn't happen again-FLIRT WITH HIM-go park..hehe whatever.....life is a long journey..sometimes it seems as though your priorities with children and work that sometimes you may lose the spark a bit..just light the pilot light again and do what you can to get his attention and it doesn't have to go back to the bed-especially if you are trying to see where his feelings lie with you...(no pun intended)...yeah that will get his attention in the short run..as it will in most men...BUT....it won't stand for the long run...so there has to be more.  maybe play hard to get a little..make him feel as though he has to give chase a bit...don't play the game too long...but...entice him..take him out for ice cream or even to a ball game EVEN if you HATE baseball or football...or a concert if he doesn't care for sports...\namusement park..you get the idea...do things that he LOVES to do that you would normally not care so much for because you CARE about doing stuff he is interested in...it is just an idea...surprise him...
1035085
Do something fun and a little less ordinary together. One year my husband suprised me by whisking me off to the beach. he had gotton takeout food from this really great itallian place and we had a little moonlit picnic. Next year we are playing with the idea of getting tatoos. You could go rock clibling or take a hike up to a beautiful spot and take in the veiw. A hot air balloon ride or, if more adventurous maybe sky diving lessons.  Whatever you do, try to establish your own little traditions. Like every year no matter what our plans we always have a glass of champagne from our wedding flutes together. One year we had just moved, and were completly broke and had our champagne in the middle of an empty apartment with nothing but lawn chairs for furniture and that was one of the most memorable. Maybe because it was such a clear message that it doesnt really matter what you do as much as who you are with. Happy Aniversery, and Good Luck.