How can a borderline workaholic (me) motivate my couch potato husband?
372640
Was he that way before you married him? If so, why would you expect it to be different now?\n\nIf he wasn't, then--as said above--you've probably run rampant at home and he doesn't feel the need, or is trying to "balance" the situation. Could also be med/psych reasons too.
877656
No, we don't argue about it anymore. When I got tired of doing it all by myself, I made a Housework chart. I listed the chores that had to be done daily,weekly, monthly and seasonably including the time it takes me to do them. After seeing it in black and white, how much I had to do after getting home, he ask what he could do to help. I let him pick the chores he wanted to do and added a few I thought he could handle. Now he's done them for the last 20 years. He doesn't do everything to my liking, so when he is not around I'll go into the corners he missed. It helps a lot,even if it isn't as well as if I had done it myself and I'll tell him ever so often how lucky I am to have a partner that helps out so much.
478968
Does your man work?  Are you receiving child support?  What are you doing for work now?  Do you have any talents that your friends keep complimenting?\n\nIf your married and your man works... he gets a 2nd, 3rd or even 4th job and you eat rice and beans (but you eat), buy your clothes at the thrift store (but you still dress decently) and downsize the car (but you still get around).  Maybe you take in babysitting.  \n\nIf you are a professional/semi-pro, maybe you take your work home to do on the computer.  If not, maybe you have a special talent that people are always telling you that you should persue.  \n\nThere are At-Home-Mom magazines that talk about this thing as well as entreprenurial magazines that could give you some great ideas.\n\nGood luck mom!!!
749311
one night you should tell him to take it easy, and you should cook like your favorite meal, and then pop the question.....make it a speech tell him "He's my homemaker, housewife and my everything when I get home from a long day of work. I manage a large portion of a company and have just recently been too sick to function. He has nursed me and been by my side the entire time, never leaving me for more than a few minutes at a time (he has to shower and go to the bathroom afterall.) We're a solid foundation together, and now that I'm feeling better (and I have a ring).. I want to do it." its very much from the heart i can tell, good luck sweety with everything and congrats on the baby!!
897088
hon. I'm afraid that all the DVDs in the world wont mean a darn thing if your husband  cant make time for him self. and second if he got time to watch a DVD then he got time to go work out. I'm sorry he works long hours, trust me i know the feeling. but it is matter of wanting it.
97792
I just noticed your other post and you left out a fact in this post that all he wants to do all day is "play video games and sit and watch T.V." It is interesting to me that you left this fact out of this post and only focused on the employment issue. I think you realize what a ridiculous situtation you have worked your way into and are now floundering about trying to get your legs back under you. He undoubtably loves you totally because he now has no job, has video games, no responsibility, a woman that will work to support him, a roof over his head, food to eat, and someone to have sex with on a daily basis. What boy wouldn't love that. I refer to him as a boy although I don't know his age but based on what seems to be important to him.\n\nTHINK about it! Do you come home to a dirty or clean home? What is he teaching your daughters by example? More importantly, what impression of men is he sending to your daughters? Are you planning on marrying him? Are you able to accept the responsibility as breadwinner in the family? What will he do if you get pregnant again and cannot work, can you rely on him? Sometimes the feelings in our heart outweigh what we already know in our minds. Think it through carefully. \n\nDecide what you want to do based on your responsibility as a mother to your daughters and the unspoken promises you made to them when you brought them into this world. Their experiences in life will shape their future choices. Don't you want better for them?\n\nMy true thought, dump him. Live on your own with your daughters. There are several government programs to help the three of you. This will undoubtably be a huge change in their lives and they will need counseling which the government can provide. There are rent subsidies, food stamps, help with utilities, and so much more. You can even go to college for free. Get a better life for you and your daughters. Forget your heart for a while and think with your brain, you'll hopefully make much better choices in the future.
1093379
I believe I've asked the same ? and here is what i've learned....\nYou have to strat out with baby steps and do it with him.  Sttart by slowly changing what you bring into the house....if he (or you has to have chips try the Light of Baked, try flavord water instead of even diet soda.  More veggies..(ive found that grilling marinated vegetables gets my husband to eat a lot more of them (he's even requested them once or twice).  As for the physical aspect....that can be much harder.  Ask him to jion you for a "romantic walk" in the park or after dinner just for quality time.  Swimming at the pool or beach with the kids...foolproof way to have fun.  My mother has terrible joints and body "issues" and not only does swimming help her, its easy, doesnt hurt, and actually is even great do do after a work out because it stretches you out.  Make it seem less like a workout to him and more like fun... it wont happen overnite but it will happen.  Just dont always resort to throwing heart problems and diabetes etc in his face - it will work against you.
228668
i have a hard time encouraging my husband to do anything but you can't really make him go, he has to go on his own.  just keep on going yourself, and set a good example
1173459
Here are some suggestions of things you could do to keep busy but not have to go too far from home:\n*Foster care for pets who are waiting for adoption.\n*Take college courses online (to keep your mind sharp)\n*Start a discussion group (on Yahoo groups or other) for people who are in a similar situation as you.\n*Learn a new skill or hobby (dog training?)\n*Humanitarian efforts such as making clothing, blankets, etc for people in other countries.\n\nThink about what you really like to do, what your interests are, OR what you would like to learn to do. There are a lot of options...don't become a recluse, you will not have a happy life and I don't think that's what your husband would have wanted you to do.\n\nGood luck! :)
42646
Try making a picture chart of the chores that you would like her to do on a regular basis...put stickers on the chart every time she completes the task.  Offer a prize when a certain amount of stickers are earned.  You may try displaying the prize(in sight but out of reach) in order to inspire her.  Also, making it fun and exciting helps...also lots of verbal praise....making a big a big deal for the little things that she does...\nRemember, she will pick up on your attitude toward your VERY IMPORTANT job.  Tell her how fun it is to do her job and how much fun you have doing your job.
337673
Oh hunny.  Kick his @$$ to the curb!  The dirtbag wants to have his cake and eat it too.  You deserve SO much better than some wishy washy loser!\n\nDo this:\n\nTake a shower.\n\nGet dressed.  \n\nGo to the hair dresser and get a new hair style.  \n\nGo over to the Estee Lauder counter for a makeover.  Budget $60.00 and buy one of the great Estee Lauder moisturizers for your face, you deserve it.\n\nGet a manicure and a pedicure (no polish though).\n\nCall 5-10 of your best friends and have a potluck sleep over and do each other's nails.\n\nGrab 4 Chick Flick comedies and make TONS of popcorn.\n\nNo booze though, it just makes things worse.\n\nHug each other often and laugh until your sides hurt.\n\nKeep this in mind, your girlfriends are your support team.  When you all get together like that you all remember why you are friends and that no matter how bad things get, you always have each other!\n\nBlessed Be "Little Sister",\n\nSunshine\n\n=====================\n\nP.S.  To the insensitive jerks regarding "speak english and use spell check"... Bite off!  She is hurting deeply and she did the best she could to communicate how she is feeling.  I am and English Major and I took the time to read what she had to say patiently.  If you can't be bothered to do that then maybe you should not have answered her question!
319574
Well be happy he wants to do something for you.  But you could put them on a calendar - write them on a calendar that he looks at - put a calender where he can see it, and as I suggested write them on it.\n\nWhen he does follow through, make sure to say thanks fore.....\n\nHelp him to do those things he promised - like if he says he will take you to dinner - have his cloths ready when he comes home from work.
535092
OMG, i know what you mean, my house is a wreck and i feel like all i do is cook and clean, so how does my neighbor with 5 kids have a spotless house and well-behaved kids and still find time to do fun stuff.... ??? i was stay at home and now i have a job, its hard either way.....\nAnd when hubby doesnt help... i am too darn tired to be meeting him at the door with anything lol\n\nPlease email me when you find out :) \n\n((((((HUGS)))))))) i don't feel so alone now...lol
252388
keep yourself busy and focus on yourself. Don't do this with negative intentions or malicious reasons - like i'll show you. I can relate. I used to give my man shit all the time for no reason. The only thing jealousy leads to is wasted energy and will only leave you feeling worse. I hate to say it , but this boils down to insecure feelings on your part and you know how you hate it when he says " you are just insecure". focus on spending time w/ family and friends, job, goals...this behavior will bring you and your husband closer.  Just communicate, don't give up, You just need to love your man smarter not harder
460211
Try to get another thing to forger about him. Some hobby or something, love is one thing, but work is another. Do something in the house and you will see that you will be able to forget about him going to work and when he return you'll be overjoyed.
596947
It may be depression.  I used to think my husband was lazy because all he did was sleep and lay on the couch.  He was depressed.  I didn't understand until I started going through a major depression about 10 months ago.  In my case anti-depressants has helped a lot.
869146
Well, I wouldn't jump the gun here. My husband really doesn't have a set time to come home (since he works on the road some) however there are times when he leaves the shop and isn't home until two hours later (we live ten minutes from his job) he is a gabber mouth, he can talk to anyone forever. (My middle daughter gets this from him because she is often corrected at school for talking) Tell your husband that you miss him an awful lot, and if he could cut down on hanging out with friends after work maybe twice or three times a week. You still want him to have some "relax" time but you want to emph that you want to be with him, too.