How often do you fight with your spouse? How long does it take to make up?
363554
i don't fight with my husband, i argue! lol. And he doesn't. grrrr. He's too agreeable. it's frustrating. When i argue with him, he waits till i cool down and sits me down to talk to me about my feelings. I have never gone to bed angry since we moved in together, (almost 3 years). So i think that you should not argue and wait till you're calm, then talk like you would if you were proposing an idea to your boss. (have points ready that you want to discuss, and stick to those) but just talk about your feelings, and what the other person could do to help the situation. (and maybe what you could do too!)
647674
Settling is wrong, and if thats what this feels like MOST OF THE TIME, then think about whether or not someone else could make you as happy as your boyfriened does when he isn't ticking you off. Sometimes someone annoys you or makes you sad sometimes, but you still love them more than anyone else in the world, and you're still happy with them most of the time. \n\nThen, realize that some males think that arguing/debating is a way to keep things fiery. I've had to explain to my husband that I hate fighting of any kind because I grew up in a very explosive household, and that sometimes the smallest disagreement will make me incredibly nervous and sad. He responds that if I have a different opinion, he wants me to express it. Neither of us are wrong, there just has to be a compromise.\n\nI suggest you tell him that if he wants to debate with you, fine - but it MUST NOT become personal - at all. Also, tell him that if he doesn't respect your opinion or think its "good enough" then he shouldn't bother arguing with you about that particular subject. You two can debate - but not argue. He needs to understand the difference, and understand why it matters to you. Tell him you want most of all to get along with him and make him happy and be happy, and that constantly expressing your different opinions makes that very difficult to achieve.\n\nGive him time. Lots of it. \n\nI hope I helped.
569156
Average is about 25 min. But several times. It depends on how tired or stressed or relaxed my couple and I are.
817633
Ok, as someone that's been with my favorite person for over 25 years...\n\n--I have toned down my temper--I pick my battles very carefully!\n--I am MUCH less selfish...I think more of how he will feel about something I am deciding on and I choose activities, etc. that we will both enjoy.\n--I TRY to work a little harder on house work stuff! I'm not great at it, but I'm still trying!
294841
I think I read the average is three or four times a week for couples married 10 years or more and slightly higher for the ones married less time ...how they come up with that one is beyond me I never had a call asking how often we were doing it. Quality is more important than quantity though. I also read that married people have it more often than singles.
209588
It sounds like love.  It also sounds like the 1st year of marriage.  You don't talk about why you are arguing, but would counseling help?  I did not live with my husband before our marriage, so during our 1st year there was a lot of...he said, she said...each of us repeating back what we thought the other person said.  Often times, we would have to explain several times until we got it right.  It was not easy, but after the 1st year things got better.  We have been married 8 1/2 years, now.  Sure, we still argue sometimes, but we work it out much easier.  Good luck!
682150
I think a husband should be open and honest with his wife.  If he disagrees with something, he should say so.  It doesn't make for a healthy relationship if you bottle it all up and pretend to go along with things all the time.  She needs to know you have thoughts and feelings too, and she needs to be prepared to face them.  It doesn't have to be a blazing row, either.  Civil discussions can be had...
157536
Often times, arguments over "little things" are merely a symptom of a bigger issue.  Before getting married, the two of you need to sit down and have a real, in-depth discussion of what your concerns and expecatations are.  There need to be some ground rules for this discussion:\n\n1) No personal attacks - e.g. You always do or say...  Make the issue about you. e.g. I feel that...\n2) Listen to the other person without interupting.\n3) Keep the discussion focussed on the issue at hand, don't drag other issues into the discussion.\n4) After one person finishes, give the other a chance to respond and listen to what they have to say.\n5) No raised voices.  The louder the volume, the less that will be heard.\n\nIf the two of you start fighting and things are escelating, it is OK to stop the argument and wait until tempers have cooled before resuming the discussion.  However, it is critical that the conversation RESUME.  Walking away because you or your partner are angry and never returning to resolve the issue will only result in simmering anger that will pop up over something as stupid as leaving a door open or a misplaced piece of paper, etc.\n\nFinally, I recommend pre-marital counseling for all engaged couples.  You may think that you and your partner see eye to eye on all issues but you will be surprised at the differences that are revealed in counselling.
382907
I have never heard of any couple who doesn't argue. This is especially true when there are increased stresses in their lives. Having just been pregnant in the summer and in a long term relationship I know exactly what goes on. But then the arguments go away within ten minutes so you can't take minor issues to heart. Eventually the grass will get cut, the dishes will be done, as with the laundry. Just hang in there.
1091364
I was divorced & remarried after 3 years. \nI have now been remarried for 26 happy years. \nA marriage has to be worked at. \nThere are always going to be bad times but the trick is to work through them together & to support each other.
800074
My husband and I have been in this situation for 6 years.  We have 2 sons, 6 & 2.  My advice is don't take each other for granted.  Even though I am at work all day does not mean I don't need time for myself.  Likewise, he should still be able to go out or pursue his own hobbies.  You need to watch each other for cues that the other is stressed out.  I try to do as much as I can to "help" on the weekends and in the evenings.  On the weekends, I run erands with the boys (post office, grocery store, etc) giving my hubby a little time to himself.  I also do most of the cooking on the weekends since he does it all week.  I try to get laundry and bills caught up (bill paying is my job).  He loves professional football, so during football season I make sure I occupy the boys so he can watch it at home or go out if he chooses.  It ain't easy! Communicate, Communicate, Communicate!!!!!
1085143
My husband modiness and be upsetting at times but i get like that at times too. I cant really say anything makes me really mad at him as we work through all of our differences and we love and accept each other even with our imperfections!
803616
I'd get up and leave the room. With that said.  My son says my hubby and I fight alot, and to us we are not fighting.  We are discussing different things and giving our points of view to each other.  Usually we don't raise our voices and maybe it would be considered bickering by some.  But really it is harmless.  So I wouldn't worry about the divorce issue.  If they say they wouldn't get divorced than believe them.  No sense worrying about it until it really happens.  \n\nOn the other end of it.  It is not fair for either of them to ask you to side with them.  But maybe they are trying to get you in on a discussion.  Make it a family thing?\n\nGood luck.
67250
I have been married for 7 years in april and my husband and I had a similar fight when we had first gotten married, I now do not work but in a new marriage everything is changing so fast and I think that asking her to quit her job is like asking her to give up her ability to support herself and feel confident, it is her way of having something all her own not having to share it. I think if you give her time and come to a compromise she will come to some common ground with you. But I wouldn't push the issue of her quitting all together. I hope that I have helped some .
524551
It seems when things get tense we always imagine the worst will happen to our marriage.  It doesn't have to just because someone else did it.  We can always get past a tough point.  Maybe you just need more time together.
968032
Do you want to be in a relationship where you always argue or just argue occasionally?\n\nIf you're not happy and fighting all the time just move on.\n\nIf you can do better you should.
854258
I love my husband very very much. Since the day we've met we've never had an 'argument', we've gotten snippy with one another, but never anything more than that. We always talk about what is bothering us and what we really want, no reading between the lines. If we are unhappy with something, we work together to fix it. we always eat dinner together, no matter what, we shop together and try and spend quality time together. We dont go to bed mad and we say we love each other all the time. Just a lot of little things that can go a long ways.