What's a good way to tell my SOUTHERN BAPTIST mother that I'm gay?
358670
There is no good way to tell her.  BUT, if it's important to you to tell her then you should.  Just prepare a little first--practically and psychologically.  Understand, it will be emotional for both of you.  Mothers can surprise us though.  She might already know, and is waiting for you to be honest with her.\n\nPersonally, I would tell her you want to talk to her privately about something that is very important to you.  Next, I would tell her how much she means to you and that you love her and appreciate all she does for you.  Tell her, this is why you "have to tell" her because she means so much to you.  Tell her first that this is a very difficult thing to talk about but that you need to so that she may have the opportunity to be a part of your life (in the future).  THEN...just tell her the truth.  "Mom, I'm a lesbian" or "Mom, I'm gay."  Give it time to sink in.  Once you say that, it should be enough for the first conversation, unless she wants to talk more about it.  AVOID arguing and be prepared to end the conversation and disappear to a friend's house (if you need to).  She may or may not become angry (which is normal) and say hurtful things she really doesn't mean.  Just keep it short, sincere, and see what happens.  She may not 'believe you' at first; just give her time to process her emotions.  Chances are you will feel better after you do this.  Good luck and GOOD FOR YOU.  Be who you are without shame.
6653
hey there I totally understand where you stand because I was there myself at one point and time. But first you have to evaluate everyone in your family to figure out how much they care for you as their child/sibling. your best shot would be to tell the family member(s) that you are closest to and most comfortable around in order to see how they accept it. you would be better off starting out slowly; however this approach may not exactly work for everyone. so all I can really say is start slowly, telling a few people at a time, and then find an approach that works for you. maybe have a friend (NOT a f*ck-friend) that knows (and is cool with it) present when you disclose. worst comes to worst, have someone else tell them when you are not present. I had a great deal of difficulty coming out to them myself, but all I can really suggest that you find a way that works...for you. I do not know your family, but if they really love you, they will accept you for who you really are.
1107168
JUST TELL HER YOUR GAY!
117443
Tell her that you're gay, but to not tell anyone because you don't want to come out yet.
1003450
I don't see how you can be shy towards your own mother.  Just remember, Action speak louder than words, but words are always nice to hear.  Tell her, nothing to be shy about.  She changed your diapers, bathed you, made sure you had everything that you needed.  Watch her face light up when you tell her.
457962
If you love your mother you would tell her plain and simple.  She gave birth to you and brought you into this world at least give her respect and the curtesy of knowing the truth!
41007
You know your parents better than I; can they handle the news? Will they toss you out of the house?\n\nGet some support for yourself first. PFLAG (Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays) is a good place to start and they have some coming out resources. See if there's a gay youth support group near you, where you can get some additional support and understanding for what you're going through. Maybe there's a Gay/Straight Alliance at your school or another nearby that can lend additional support.\n\nYou'll want to go into the conversation knowing it probably won't be pretty. They will probably throw every dirty and disgusting gay stereotype at you, and you will have to remain secure in the knowledge that stereotypes are often created out of fear and revulsion rather than truth, and that you aren't any of those things. Most of all, be secure in the knowledge that you're a good person, no matter what they may say.\n\nI came out at 16 and it took my parents a couple years to adjust to the idea. Then it just became another part of me. They ask about boyfriends and how things're going, inviting anyone I'm dating over for dinner. Its a non-issue now.
47818
While I don't agree with it, if it is something you 'personally' are interested in learning more about, I will post the contact information for -3- of them I found on the www.family.org website: \n\nExodus International\nP.O. Box 540119\nOrlando FL 32854\n(888) 264-0877 \nWeb Site: www.exodus.to \n\n\nDesert Stream\nP.O. Box 9999\nKansas City MO 64134\n(866) 359-0500 \nWeb Site: www.desertstream.org \nE-Mail: info@desertstream.org\n\n\nCrossOver Ministries, Inc.\nP.O. Box 23744\nLexington, KY 40523-3744\n(859) 608-7176\n\n\nCoaching Confidant (Life Coaching)\nWeb Site: www.coachingconfidant.com \n\n\nMy mother has also indicated that there are various books out on the topic of going from gay to straight.\n\n(If you are looking for this information for someone else; to change them...shame on you.) \n\nIf your thinking about making the change because of what other people think: don't be stupid.\n\nIf your thinking about making the change because of what the bible says: read the bible and you will find many other things which you should not do.\n\nEither way, I wish you luck in life.
418678
Be very honest with your mother about your spiritual beliefs.  You must have some reasons for choosing to be a Christian.  Tell her the things you believe.  I would emphasize that being respectful the whole time is key, as I am sure you know once someone is offended they will shut off from what the other person is saying.  Highlight the common beliefs between the two of you first, and then mention the differences.  I would point out that she doesn't make your father and brother go to church with her, and since she respects their decision you feel that you should be able to have that same respect.  God is ecumenical.  Wouldn't your mother feel better knowing you were going to a faith service where you actually got something out of it, instead of just going through the motions?  \n\nI definitely recommend doing this at "the right time" whatever that may be for you two.  Perhaps you guys have excellent talks in her room while she is picking out clothes for the next day.  Maybe you chat really well over dinner at a cafe.  You will know what feels right and I really feel that talking to her at the right time will be key in getting her to really focus on what you are saying.
781349
the best way to come out is directly. i know that it may be scary, but your family and friends are more likely to take it bad if they don't think you trusted them enough to be honest.\n\nget some info off of the following websites. they can give you plenty of info to share with your family. also check out the public library in your area. they may have some books that will also be good resources.\n\nstart with the person you think will take it the best, be it family or a close friend. tell them first. you will need them to be your suppport system through this time. then, just keep going until you've told them all.
298460
Telling someone that you're gay can really help a lot, just because you don't have to carry around your secret all by yourself anymore. Probably the best person to tell that you're gay is a female friend, since they will likely have less problems with it than a male friend. If you're gay, chances are that you'll have more girl friends than guy friends. However, pick carefully! Don't tell it to someone that you've had a fight with recently or that you're not totally comfortable with them knowing. Think about whether this person could use the information to get back at you for something. It's your choice and depends on your family, but maybe you want to tell your parents. However, if you think that they'd react badly and still depend on them, give this some thought. Parents can react better or worse than you'd imagine. Another option might be a sister, if you have one. Be very careful before telling people at work or school. And before telling anyone, ask yourself: a) Is this person a religious fanatic who would be violently opposed to gays and set me on fire with kerosene? (If so, not a good choice) b) Would this person use me as their 'gay friend' to go shopping and get fashion advice? (If so, and this might be surprising, also not a good choice. You need a friend that will love you for you, not for your gayness). The people you tell should be people that will just say 'okay' and you can move on with your lives and you can feel better about it.
1132901
Just be open and honest and with them and remember to be patient with them.  Even if they dont agree with you sexuality remember their still your parents and they still love you.  Here's a link to PFLAG's website, you can contact them through that and they're really goat providing support for you and your parents.\nhttp://www.pflag.org/
178246
If he was truly saved, and is falling into the temptations of Satan, he will turn away from it (one day) and go back to following Jesus. \n\nIf he was never saved, then it will be harder for him to resist these temptations.\n\nSatan knows that God hates homosexuality, and he is using this to either spite God, or to keep this man from ever receiving the Blessing of true salvation. \n\nWhen you speak to his mother, pray with her--everytime, as often as she comes to you. Tell her to love him, no matter what. Tell her that no matter how mad her son may get that it is her duty to quote scripture to him about homosexuality. Tell her not to shun his partner, but to love him as she does any other person in Christ. \n\nThat doesn't mean that she should accept them behaving like lovers at her house or in her presence. She needs to set ground rules and say, "You may both come here, but you may not act unnaturally in my presence. And, as your mother, I would ask that you respect me enough to NOT act this way when I am in your presence, at your home." \n\nHer son will reject her and Christ, as long as he feels that he is being attacked. She must find a way to love him, unconditionally, just as God loves all of us. \n\nShe must also share this with as many true Christians as she can, so that they can pray for her and her son, as well as his lover(s).\n\nI would also like to add that she needs to let her son know that not only is he sinning against God, but against himself, and the men that he lays with.
881073
ask your mom, or ask your church. duh!
463455
Dude, its never easy and been where you've been. Lot of internal struggle huh? First, consider your age. You don't say but I assume a minor. If you are solely dependant on them for shelter, food, education and everything and you are unsure to what extent the risk factor is of them throwing you out, wait. Minimum wage will not support your housing, food and basic necessities. You'll be turned out to prostitution in no time. Unless they have a better than average idea that you are gay (parents know but can live in denial) ie ever have girlfriends, have "the accent", effeminate, etc. (would you just be saying the obvious) If that is not the case, and even if it is. Go to the library or if you have some money. Buy a couple of books in the GLBT section on coming out to parents, and parents who have been come out to. These will answer questions for them that you might not feel comfortable answering, and they might not want to ask. They usually say things like being gay is normal, homos are not perverts, the misconceptions you have about homosexuality are wrong, etc.\n\nSecond the act of coming out. People usually gauge their reaction on how you react or act. Do not do it on a holiday, or family event. This is kinda a personal thing that you might want to sit them down (take a breath you're a man who's doing something that's hard for men twice, three times your age) Try not to get emotional, and calm them if they do.-for crying, anger you can't do much about except stay calm. Have an honest conversation with them. Ask them questions to lead up to it. (have you ever wondered why I've never had a girlfriend? etc) If you're catholic, there's something to download called "always our children" I think. \n\nThe conversation is going to go where it's going to go. But if you remain calm. Hold your head up. Answer questions honestly yet non graphically. Soften the blow and make them feel as comfortable as you can (books, the right answers to their questions, etc) They'll probably have concerns over AIDS so relay that you use or plan on using condoms. (go buy some) Just be ready to dispell some stereotypes and misconceptions on homosexuality. Relay that you are their son, you love them and because of that you find it hard to lie to someone you love about who you are, and you feel that they have the right to know the person they love.\n\nGood Luck, wish you all the best in the world. \nKeep your friends close, you'll probably need their support.
137589
Gee, that's funny. A couple questions ago you said you wanted know how to tell your Mom that you LIKE dressing like a girl. Make up your melon.
979179
Depending on your age, she should accept this as a normal part of your development.  There's no easy way to tell her - she's not going to like it and if she's like most people I know in the church she is going to do everything she can think of to talk you out of it, use guilt, cry, call others in the church to do some sort of intervention - I don't think there is much you can do to prevent this.  So just say it.  Tell her you want to search and study and find things out yourself, so that your faith will truly be your own.  God does not respect a faith that is forced or coerced.  Remind her that this is a normal part of growing up, and that it is possible you will find your way back to Christianity, but that the bottom line is, you will still be YOU.\nGood luck and happy hunting.  :)