Are there any women who have been through an overseas military divorce?
367846
Not from personal experience, but from being a military brat I'm sure you will have to deal with a lot of red tape, and you probably will have to leave Germany unless you are also enlisted and stationed there.  In which case they may redeploy you or change your base/post.\n\nJust in general, I would start digging through any legal papers you have - wills, powers of attorney, etcetera, and pull all of them into a handy file, as you will probably need to discuss them with the JAG at some point.  Joint property stuff will probably go by state listed of residence, but if you have different states of residence listed for some reason there might be a few conflicts.\n\nIf you have children, they should still be eligible for Tricare - ask your JAG, but they should still be listed in some manner as his dependents, I should think.  However, if you are dependent not active yourself, you will almost certainly lose Tricare coverage, so you might want to shop around for an independent insurance plan for yourself.  Blue Cross/Blue Shield usually have some available, not sure who else.
1077108
To escape an abusive home environment, at 16 I joined the UK Royal Navy (big mistake!).  In the Navy I was constantly bullied for being timid & quite.  In particular, there was a superior Officer who bullied me big time.  I had no one to turn to or talk to. To cut the story short I made my first independent trip to London whilst on weekend leave. A gay relationship developed between myself & someone in very high authority at the Russian Embassy.  We met regularly when I was on leave & he particularly loved to see me in my uniform.  In REVENGE for the bullying by the Officer I've mentioned, the Russian Embassy Official also gave me lots of cash for my diclosing & handing over details in particular about my training in Nuclear, Biological & Chemical Defence Warfare Training.  Well, one day back on the Naval training base, I got searched & the Military Police found written coded information in my inside pocket.  They couldn't crack the codes, had no idea who my Russian contact was, & they couldn't crack me even though they confined me to a prison cell for 3 days & nights with no clothes, no bed, no daylight, no food & only the odd glass of water.  Both the Military Police & the highest Commanding Officers just could not believe a 17 year old Sailor was involved in some serious espionage & treason.  They were all so shocked that they decided to keep it quite & discretely discharged me from Military Service.  I still kept in touch for quite a while with my contact at the Russian Embassy here in London.  Eventually our lives went in different directions.  I am 41 now but I will never forget him.
853239
My hubby just got home in September!!! If you don't live on base and have military wives as friends, I suggest joining a Yahoo group for military wives... it's good to talk to others who've been there.. and are there for that matter!!!
360661
In my case I married a girl while stationed overseas.\nformor Marine as it were.\nAll we had to do was take the Lic to the embasy and they handed her both redisend visa and green card.\nhowever the new law requires to stay together for 7 years.\nI hear they do check with out warning
639383
In most cases when you are stateside they try and keep a married couple together. Now they may deploy at different times to different areas of the world, but when the deployment is over normally it is back to the states and an assignment together. Even in some overseas area where dependents are authorized as long as both of you accept the dependents tour which is longer than that of a person that chooses not to take the long tour then you might not be assigned to the same area.\n\n\nWe had friends that were in the military and married to each other, they were always assigned together, except in a combat zone or short tour area.\n\nBoth of you should apply for a long tour overseas area at the same time,or a stateside post together at the same time to you assignment branch in Washington.\n\nI hope this is of some use to you, good luck\n\n"FIGHT ON"
62435
Here's my personal experience from deploying and going to Iraq, no he will not cheat on you, there is no time to, we are  to worried about missing our family and friends.  We tell stories about our families and when not at work or sleep, we're usually working out.\n\nNow on the flip side, while I was deployed, it was my spouse who cheated on me.  So don't worry.  If you have any other questions feel free to email me.  God Bless America!
905768
.YEs ...................Fonder of some one else. For those who are dealing with work related separations.  Look for an Article Emotional Cycle of deployment
526743
It is an interesting experience. My husband and I have been together for only 3 years and we are on our second deployment. He is currently serving in Iraq. Be proud because your husband is doing something truly great. Feel free to contact me if you want to talk.
1032699
I know that sucks don't it.  When I was in the Marines we got our barracks rooms inspected two to three times a week, But the married guys even the ones in base housing never had to undergo any inspections.  It's bullsh*t But it's part of the game if U wanna be in the Military.  I know of some Marines who  got married just to move off base.
657348
My husband is active duty, but is able to retire because he has served 20 years. I enjoy being an officers wife. He is often gone, which is a down side, but during those times I am able to bond with my girlfriends. As stated in a previous message when he returns it feels like we are newlyweds. I also enjoy the constant moving. If you move to a place that you dont like, it's no big deal because you know that in two or three years you will be gone. I work also and when he is not home I do not have to rush home to make sure that his dinner is prepared properly and the house is in proper order.
691485
it's extremely sad. I heard about a soldier who's wife broke it off with him via e-mail. She said she couldn't wait for him anymore and that she was in love w/ another man. He begged her not to divorce her. She refused to wait or even talk to him anymore. The soldier blew his brains out. She ended up collecting $250k in military insurance.  This world is going to hell in a handbasket.
706146
Well honey,\nNothing good comes easy. However, nothing feels better than support from home, meaning pictures, writing, care packages, and emails (as a former soldier myself) I know how despairing it can be for the both of you to be displaced (as my ex and I were both in the military together and I would have to go different places for long periods of time). If you really love him remain loyal to him and enjoy loving him from a distance as I know it makes the heart grow fonder and men really appreciate that because it sort of solidifies your commitment to them. On the other hand though I would suggest that you work on your financial well being, your spiritual, and even the physical, pick up a hobby and enjoy your girl friends. Good luck! Don't allow yourself to become and remain depressed (I know it's comforting and a coping mechanism however, it can become a downward spiral and that's not healthy either)
1003797
yep, its called the military (lol)\n\na military wife
862536
Wow, that must be really difficult to come to terms with. I'm very sorry to hear about such a thing. Although I myself have not been in any situation like that I can sympathise with you. My very close friend has simular problems growing up. We had been friends for years before she finally told me recently about it. Had I knowen when it was going I probably would have tried to stop it. But we live in the now. \n  I would suggest definantly talking with someone about it who you can trust and is understanding. You need an emotional crutch to lean on while you build yourself up and make yourself stronger. You have made it this far. All you can really do is continue to live. Talk with someone. Come to terms with it as hard as that might be. Confront it. I would also suggest you find an interest that you can totally bury yourself in. Going to the gym on a regular basis helps with all kinds of stress. \n  I can only hope that you do what you can to deal with this. I hope the best for you. And one more thing, its never your fault, you can always rise above anything if you try. Take good care of yourself. I don't pray much even while I'm deployed, but I'll talk to the big guy and ask him if he'll help you out. \n   Peace in the MIddle East!
361554
Being a Drill Sgt, is no picnic.  They work long long hours and get no days off.  They live with these men and women.  I know it has to be hard on you being a spouse.  I've been in the military and was married to a military man and it's not easy.  There is a high divorce rate in the military and with Drill Sgt.  You sound like you are very grounded and very supportive of your husband and should be commended.  One day he will be out of the service and you will have him all to yourself but in the mean time, support him and love him.  It sounds like you have a good man and remember he is doing a great service to his country.  So many people marry military people and don't understand that it's not a 9 to 5 job, and you have alerts, and you move out, and you have duty to pull and you don't get weekends off and you get deployed..As hard as this is for some people to understand but you serve your country.  I've always believed that before someone gets married to someone in the military they really need to have some kind of counseling and some understanding of what a service member has to do and respect that and support them.  I think things will be okay for you and your husband, you sound grounded and you are aware that what he is doing is not easy for him either.  Good Luck...
289994
My husband has been deployed for most of our 5 year marriage as well but I am a dedicated wife who knows this is his job and I support him and his job 100%, no questions. In order to be a military wife, you have to have a strong foundation and you have to know that the Army is first..I mean, my husband puts me first but when he is deployed, he has to put his job first in order to stay focused, his main job in Iraq is to stay focused and I do everything here that I can to help him maintain that. We work as a team and have a very healthy, happy and strong marriage despite all of the deployments. You just need to reassure to your wife that this is what you have to do and that you both need to pull it together and it will make these deployments easier to "deal" with. As for the mental well being, you can both seek help with that. Contact your chaplain and he will guide you to what you need to do and where you can go for this help. Your wife should participate in the FRG's or start a support group. The main thing is to support each other and know that together, you can conquer anything. Stay strong and keep the chin up...stay safe and you'll be home sooner than you know it. If you're gone for a year, you should be getting a two week R&R time....take that time to rejuvinate. Good luck and thanks for all you do!!!!
355799
I am in IRAQ as i write this.I have seen my family and girlfriend 10 days since january 22 2005.I had the option of taking leave while being here but chose not to for the fact i didn't want to go through the goodbyes again.My girlfriend hates me being here but fully supports me by being there for me.I talk to her weekly on the phone and chat just about everyday on the computer.She has sent me numerous packages with "stuff" i cannot buy here.The problem i have with her is she refuses to go out at all during my absence. I told her this is not good and it only makes the waiting worse.There is nothing wrong with going out with her friends and family(she does go to her childrens house).Of course she does worry and tells me she sometimes cries herself to sleep.\n I believe the worst thing a wife or significant other can do is burden her man with menial or trivial problems that can be solved with a little time and thought.I assure you if the man had the choice he would rather be home watching his family and dealing with day to day issues.\n I have seen grown men "freak out" because of the minor problems being repeated to them from thier wives or girlfriend.During times like these maturing comes fast and hard for both people.The ones left home alone to do EVERYTHING around the house has to make all the decisions and then get used to the man coming home and trying to readjust to helping out again. The readjusting is the hardest part of coming home.now once again you must learn to accept that things will not always be done the way you have become acustomed.Just because your man is not away anymore doesn`t mean things get easier.Supporting him and he supporting you once back in the states is vital to every relationship.