i would like your opinion on whether a single 27 female should move 200 miles away from home on her own?
357806
My answer:  It depends.\n\nAre you moving for a job?  Boyfriend?  the beach?\nDo you have a savings account or are you financing the move with a credit card?\n\nThings to ask yourself before you move:\nHow long do you intend to stay there?\nAre you financially able to support yourself once you get there, for the time period above?\nDo you have friends and/or family there?  If not, why are you moving again?\n\nBad reasons to move:\nBoredom.\nMad at someone. (ex-boyfriend, family member, etc.)\n\nThis isn't a traditional "answer", but it does give you some basic factors to consider before you relocate.\n\nBest of luck to you.
611230
Hmm...I'm not really sure about this one, but my suggestion is to talk to your wife about it. 1,000 miles is way to much to be apart. Let her know how you feel about the situation. See if she is willing to leave her job and move to where you are, or if you are willing to leave your job and move to where she is. If that will not happen for whatever purpose, then getting a divorce might be the best option, although I don't know how you would go about getting one. \nSorry to hear you're in this situation and I wish you the best of luck!
202275
Do you have any family on the East Coast?  Do you have a job, or can easily get one? Would he support you while you looked for a job?  What would happen if you couldnt for a while?  Is he going forever, or will he be back someday?\n\nBasically, if you don't think you could ever give him up and are willing to give up everything in your life now for him then go.  If you aren't then maybe its time to get a low cost long distance plan.
441615
Yes if I had reasons and opportunities there.\n\nIf this was someone I had known for a while, I could find a job there and had a reason to live there I definitely would.  But I would never move just for them.  It puts all sorts of extra stresses on the relationship, if the person coming doesn't have a job waiting, or living arrangements, or a real reason to be there other than that person.\n\nI can understand wanting to make a relationship work, and it won't while there's such a distance. However, just one sacrificing everything for the other, doesn't work.
992181
Would she be receptive to a heart to heart talk?  Try sitting down with her and talking about her plans for the future.  Maybe she's afraid to move back out on her own.  Can she afford to now with her present job?  Ask if she would like your help looking for a new place.  Maybe you could ask her to pay some rent to you--and then come to the conclusion that if she's paying rent she may as well have her own place.  Good luck to you!
1105940
That sounds normal to me.  I am not moving but I think that you would want to see your friends and the comfortable familiarities of your life because you will be going to a new place. Good luck.
719255
I think you need to explore life and travel before settling down.  Go to college, get a career for yourself, get a job, an apartment.  See what it's like to live on your own.  Be independent before you become dependent on anyone.  Trust me, I was with someone but I cut him short, did all the above and now I am married with child and I can't tell you how happy I am.  I've done the things I wanted to before settling down.
203004
well i moved in with my boyfriend after knowing him for 2 weeks. But the bad thing is that i moved 100 miles away from my family. But we are still together and been dating for 2 years!  So you are the only one that can make that decision. It could work, but then again living together so soon could cause problems. I say take a chance and go for it. Oh yea and I was 17 when i moved out!
95573
I think that it all depends on the couple and their expectations. If that is truly her desire then, that is what she should do. It is hard in this economy to sustain a family on a single income.
715802
First of all there is more to a women then her body. If you want a girlfriend you have to get up some nerve. By what you wrote, with you moving and all, I don't think now is a good time for you. Why don't you get moved, work on your self-esteem, and find someone in your new home town! There are beautiful women everywhere!
855701
Whenever a fledgling leaves the nest there is concern over whether they can cope or not. Since you are planning on remaining in the same general area and in contact with family and friends there is no reason why you should not rent somewhere for yourself.\n\nYou may find it is easier dealing with the people who make you angry when you dont have to live with them and can just walk away and go home to somewhere else.\n\nSome people do far better emotionally living independantly. You may be one of those people.\n\nYou have discovered the hard way that some problems do take two people to solve and the other person does not always want to resolve anything. The only person you can change is you. The only person you can control is you. \n\nIt is a mature decision to remove yourself from a volatile situation. I would suggest that you do get some counselling as well just to give you some support while you start off your new life as an independant adult.\n\nEarning $400 per week means you should be looking for a rental that is less than $200 per week so you have some money for other expenses. It wont be easy and you wont have much to splash around on fun things but you will manage if you are careful and a bit wise.\n\nYou will need the equivalent of 4 weeks rent for bond and you need to pay 2 weeks rent in advance as well. You will also need money to have power connected and for phone connection. This means that for a $200 per week home you will need to have saved $1300 minimum to get you started. \n\nIf you do not already have some furniture you can choose to buy just the absolute essentials to begin with and add other things later. Check the trading post newspaper each Thursday and read the weekend paper classfied for garage sales to pick up some bargains. \n\nMost of all just take a deep breath and go out there and have yourself a big adventure! And enjoy the process.
41992
Boy does this question bring back memories. The simplest answer is one day at a time. It's like when you first moved out of your parents house but with a lot more luggage (physical and psychological).\n\nIt wasn't easy for me either. You really have to start back at square one. The only advantage is you are older and wiser. Take small steps in all of your commitments, emotional, financial, and romantic/dating.\n\nFeel free to email / IM me if you have specific questions. This looks like an easy question, but for those of us that have been there... it's just the tip of the iceberg.
391357
i wouldn't do it. \n\ni would never live in another womans home. it will ALWAYS be her home..especially if there are kids. \n\nhowever...asking a boyfriend...to sell a home to move into an apt. doesn't seem very mature either.  especially since you two aren't married nor does it sound like there are any plans to marry. \n\ni would keep my place..have him keep his...and share a bed once in a while. if it gets serious..then both of you move out and buy a home together!
984524
I think it depends on many factors.  If she already messed up with your family and you are living under their roof, morally you need to tell her that because of her behavior you don't have the say anymore to let her stay.  On the other hand, what are her reasons for needing to stay a day?  If her reasons are important, like she has no other place to go and is not a chronic wanderer (not really staying anywhere although she has the resources to) then maybe you should have negotiated how to behave while in your home.  The $85.00  should probably not come into play for this favor she is asking of you.  \nI guess it all comes down to how close the two of you are. Also, your age.  Generally speaking, females are more catty between 15-24.  At this age group, there is a constant tug of war with emotions (hormones) and all of them are constant companions when they feel slighted.  Perhaps she feels like you are choosing your family's side over hers and she is jealous.  who knows?\nThis probably does not explain much, but I hope it helped.\nGood Luck.
853933
You said you're working on the relationship, but if he isn't, it probably isn't worth while.  If he has been like this forever, and you thought you could change him....yep, think again.   If he is as self centered as it sounds,  you moving out probably just gave him more free time to do what he wants.  Don't kill yourself working it out if he won't give 110% also.  Habits are hard to break, and no one is perfect, but feeling like dirt on the bottom of somebones shoe is not expected.  Your girls should be learning repects from both parents.
835164
I lived on my own for a year and loved it.  You get your own routine, the TV is yours, you have more privacy and no-one messes up your house.  If I had not fallen pregnant I would have lived on my own for a long time.  The only negative point is that it has been hard to live with someone after living alone and having to put up with their habits after always having things just the way I liked them.
408760
Hi...well, I'm NOT looking forward to being where you are...I've spent the last 9 years as a single mom!  My youngest is 17, but good news is 21 year old daughter is moving home, but just for a year, til her husband gets back from second deployment in Iraq (he's US Navy) and they settle in their own house here.\n\nI started watching English football here (soccer), so I now have a pub I go to and watch it with the guys (I'm the only woman who is interested!) on those rare evenings I find myself alone.  I know people can tell you about hobbies, and crafts, gardening, etc., but what about volunteering at say, the local hospice center, or the hospital, or even your local elementary school?  These types of organizations always need help, and the benefits of helping are their own rewards!  Or you can do what I love to do when I have free time for myself...and that's go exploring...  I don't know where you live, but I am in Jacksonville, Florida, and there are so many places around here to see and enjoy, like St. Augustine, or the zoo, or just traveling down the Intracoastal Waterway highway for a change of scenery.  I also love going downtown to the city's center and just window shopping, stopping for a bit of lunch, and a cup of coffee at an outdoor cafe.  I also have a list of junk/antique stores in the area, and try to visit one after the other on days when my time is free and home chores are done (and the girls are gone).\n\nAnyway...I've got a very adventuresome spirit...and I'm sure  you do too, considering you're a novelist.  Oh how I envy you...I've written stories all my life, and been published on the web, but I've yet to sit down and do what I love doing, writing just to complete a project!  Good luck...and most of all, HAVE FUN DOING IT! :)