Help me understand why my partner finds it insulting that I pleasure myself?
374208
She may consider it a threat to her ability to please you.  Assure her that it is just another way you like to feel good.  Maybe ask her to watch or to participate.  Ask her to do it herself for you if she feels comfortable.
350927
No, he's suffering from "inconsideration". He gets his and it's done for him. If you hadn't said "husband" i would have suggested you drop him like a bad habit. But since you're married, sit him down and in a non-accusatory tone tell him how it makes you feel. Tell him you'd like to enjoy sex too. Tell him Men are like ovens, they heat up quick. Women are like crock pots, the take some time to heat up. He needs to be attentive to your needs. He needs to give you a little foreplay. He needs to find out what you like and enjoy and then give it to you. Or you might want to consider not "giving it" to him until he gets a clue. Good luck.
1114122
if u don't feel comfortable for what ever reason doing it on him, thats fine, but find another way to make ur man happy and enjoy ur experience... ;)
425286
If you give the impression that giving oral sex is gross, a chore, a favor, or in some way not pleasurable for you, it takes so much away from the experience. It can be very pleasurable for both. I like the way it excites my boyfriend, and a little whipped creme seems to help! It's a great step in foreplay.\n\nThere is nothing wrong with it...you just have to come to an understanding on how far you will take it, as in...where it's going when he/you are there. And it can be just as pleasurable for women on the receiving end.  There are alot of articles and Q & A's on this question by searching the interenet, my suggestion...don't knock it til you try it!
334064
You are placing too much importance on it. You make ME feel uncomfortable about it, and I'm a guy.\n\nObviously, you need a refresher course in 'No'. \n\nMaybe you need to be more slow, gradual, and patient. You can cause tremendous discomfort if you don't do it right, and stop chewing on her like a cheeseburger !!!\n\nor maybe she is afraid she might pee....\nso, stop assuming.
1030313
Every time that you do it ith your spouse doesn't necessarily mean they are going to give you that wonderful orgasm.  All we can do is be there to satisfy their needs, b/c you don't want him to go elsewhere and get some now do you?  Just please your man and try your hardest to get you.
955289
Well, poor old 'Pink Blush' has her tushie in a tangle! (Calm down dear!)\nNothing is wrong with this Irish guy. He is treating you with something that you seem decidedly ignorant of....RESPECT.\nNot all men are only after one thing. Some of us can engage our brain before our hormones, despite what the man hating feminist news paper agony aunts might suggest, not all men are bastards. \nHowever I suppose I should not be surprised that you don't recognise respect when it is shown you as you don't appear to have much for yourself. You 'just want to have a good time' and are seemingly surprised that 'he wouldn't even have sex with me.' \nFirstly you can have a good time with someone without it ever having to involve shagging them. Secondly, most people view having a sexual relationship with someone as an important part of that commitment to each other and as such experience greater pleasure from it than just a quick casual ride on the local "I'll shag anything, me" bike.\nYou seem to equate 'having a good time' with sex only. The guy you have met obviously doesn't. Maybe he  just wanted to get to know you and wanted to see how things went from there. Instead he found someone who was perfectly happy to strip off and bonk the first available male that came along at the first available opportunity. \nJust because he didn't want to have sex with you does not make him abnormal. I don't think he has any problems and that you should look a little closer to home. Having someone throw themself at you, like some rampant good time had by all, is not always very sexually attractive and can be very demeaning.
1162685
sometimes for a woman - the sexual enjoyment starts more with a mental stimulation then moves to the physical side. You need to learn to clear your mind, relax and turn your mind to sexual pleasure. I don't mean think about what to do to your man to please him - I mean think about what pleases you - what are your fantasies - what little thing that you or your lover does that just sends you over the top. Work this little thing into your mental fantasy - hopefully this will put your mind in the right mood - believe me if your mind is into it - your body will do just fine. Good luck and happy "O"'s to you!
407000
I enjoy it.  But I use to be like you, I thought it was the most disgusting thing ever.  Until I found someone I really loved.  Then it became such a turn on to me.  Because I know I'm pleasing my man.  But he have to satisfy me also.  Make sure you make that a point if you ever do it.
862410
he's a professional who trained at making ladies feel comfortable. Sounds like a bit of an unhealthy infatuation. Maybe your next boyfriend should be made aware of your needs, to be treated with dignity and respect.
631621
If you are comfortable in how you look.... That is all that matters.  Pardon me for saying this, but this guy sounds like a jerk.  How come you are staying with him if you feel that he does not find you attractive?  Perhaps you should move on to somebody that will love you for "you" and not need to turn to porn for sexual gratification.  \nHave you ever just confronted him and ask if he finds you appealing in a sexual way?  I still think it is time for you to start looking for a better relationship.\n\nI can't believe you offered to let him take pictures of you, and he declined..... Most guys would jump at the chance to take some hot pics.  \n\nIf he is making you feel stupid or ugly, you really don't need that in your life!  A good partner in a relationship should make you feel happy, and he should not be afraid to show you exactly how much you mean to him.... At least that is my opinion...  If you want to "vent" more about this situation, you can always email me.. I am a good listener.\n\nI wish you luck!  I hope things improve for you!  don't let this guy get you down!
363658
I guess it's a personal thing and everyone's different. I for one love my man doing it as much as possible. Maybe you are doing it wrong, ask her for suggestions to make it better perhaps?
1052077
Sweetie, if you feel like you are being used... then it means you aren't happy. Therefore, talk to him about it. Say, why don't you pay this time.. or when he wants to do something say ok, well you pay because I had XXX bills this month so money is tight. Talk to him about making you leave after sex. If you don't bring it up, it will eat away at you.\n\nHere is a hint- if he gets angry/ defensive after you tell him any of this, then yes he is most likely a user and your instincts were probably right. If he says, sorry hun didn't mean to make you feel that way, or something to that extent, then he seems like a good guy.\n\nAnd girl, cmon now, real estate agent, successful woman, you've got it goin on- if it does turn out that he's using you move on! You're a catch and can do better!
269705
I'm in the same boat as you!  Actually my husband and I just had a detailed conversation about this last night. He says that it makes him feel dirty and he doesn't think it is normal.  He is also gentle and caring and loving and not that I don't appreciate all those great qualities about him,sometimes I'd like for him to do something totally unexpected and out of his norm.  After the talking though,he seems set in his ways and isn't willing to even try. I suppose I could offer you the same advice and TALK to him and see what his point of view is. You could also try getting some mild toys and start out slow and see where that gets you?  Sorry,can't be of more help,but I think everyone has their own mindset and that's a hard one to change ,especially if they are adamant about their viewpoint.  Good luck though!  I'll put you on my watch list and maybe learn something too!!  ZOYA.\n\nEDIT: To Dklyde:  That is a very good question!!\nHowever we now have 3 children and that takes precedence over my sexual needs when it comes to the thought of leaving.
615065
If you have to ask someone about this topics, I think chances are that the individual does not care about you enough.  You seem to be insecure about this which may indicate that you have self-esteem issues also.\n\nIf you feel that you are being treated poorly, you need to let your partner know how you expect to be treated.
286133
Who are you occasionally having sex with?  It is a regular partner/Significant Other or just random?  If you're not with someone who you trust it can lead to you not feeling as free or relaxed and therefore not enjoying.  Also a regular partner starts to know your body and then can usually please you better.\n\nHow intouch with yourself and your sexuality are you?  How will another person or a person in sex know how to please you if you do not know how to please yourself.  A significant part to enjoying sex is being comfortable with your body.  Do you like what you see in the mirror, do you accept it?  Do you how you like to be touched?  Being okay with yourself and understanding your body can limit your pleasure when having sex.\n\nLastly why are you having sex if you are not truely enjoying it?  Do what you find pleasure in, even if that is not total intercourse.  If you feel like you should be having sex or enjoying yourself more that can decrease your pleasure.  \n\nNothing is really wrong with you.  You just need sometime to figure out what you enjoy, and make you feel things totally.
446427
I am not intimidated by toys, actually, it's refreshing to speak with a woman who can be open about her sexuality.  On that same note, I think it's very important to communicate with your partner- non-communication leads people to fill in the blanks, and that's where jealousy, paranoia, and anger creep in.\n\nDon't feel guilty, but don't think him odd for his insecurity.  Talk to him about it.