why having a lover is a crime if you're not happy in your marriage?
368256
You loved this person with all your heart when you married.  If you feel you do not feel this power for your spouse now, it is because you have not been putting yourself on the line for your other half.  God said you will become one flesh.  You are taking a sword to your self and marriage, turning your back on your spouse.  \n\nYou are seeking that magic, hoping to find it in a complete stranger.  The magic is still in your spouse.  All you have to do is kindle it.  Your spouse is looking for that tenderness, too.  \n\nStop the disrespectful words, acts and thoughts.  Make the effort to soften your words.  You will not be judged on how your spouse responded to your actions but on your actions toward your spouse.  Marriage takes effort.  The ceremony does not freeze your relationship in that moment in time.  The humdrum of everyday life soon sets in, and marriage becomes a 'drag', but only because we let it.  \n\nIf you are a child of a broken marriage, then you expect to  make things better by moving out and moving on.  Break the cycle of destruction in family.  Have you children to think about?  Can you put yourself in their place and see what your actions are doing to them?  Can you remember the ache?  Can you do more for others than for yourself?  Can you give when it hurts?  Can you speak softly when you thinking hurtful thoughts about your spouse?  NO.\n\nDo not look outside your marriage for the solution to your marriage troubles.  Look inside yourself.  Do not muddy the waters by adding another person to the mix.  You can't offer them anything but sexual exercise, and should not be offering that!  Your body belongs to your spouse.  Get professional help.  There is no shame in asking for help.  I hope you will calm down and stop the flight inpulse.  Stay and fight for your family.  You made the vow. Now keep it.
415072
I am going to disagree with most of your posters.  Is it wrong for you to like affairs....absolutely not.  You can't control the emotion, excitement, or feeling of the secretively in the whole idea of an affair.  Yet, while you asked if it was okay to like them the answer it is NO?  It is important to know that it is wrong to act on them morally.  Just like I may love robbing banks and the excitement of it but it doesn't mean that I should run out and do it.  Maybe you should find ways to suppress the excitement in sleeping around.  While bank robbery is illegal it can seldom be seen as illegal to have an affair too.  I wish you the best in your struggle with this.
865531
If you are not happy in your marriage then this should've told you to look at the reasons why you're not happy and attempt to fix the problem.  \n\nLooking for the fix outside of the marriage isn't going to fix your problems.  I suggest you and your husband see a marriage counselor.
420702
I think that if you love your partner and he or she does not love you at this moment you are suffering. While you are loved you do not suffer but probably feel good or even proud of himself or herself. So i think it is better to be loved than to not to be loved. Maybe my opinion does not sound good but it is the truth.
987602
People get married because they're in love.  Also the laws are designed to protect a spouses interest should their significant other die.  If you aren't married you aren't protected, you have no inheritance rights.  You also have no rights to disposition of the body.  You have no right to stay in your house, unless it was in both of your names.  If you really love each other, you will want to get married so your love is protected.
543555
America has a high rate due to selfishness.  If the other person doesn't do it for you, hit the road, Jack.  Marriage takes commitment, work, and the sacrifice of your wills for the benefit of the other.  In essence, IMHO, if you are not willing to die for your wife, then you are not ready for marriage.  I love my wife so much I would be willing to die in her place.
533530
because they both are based on the same emotion lust and they are both wrong for the same spiritual reasons, lusting after soemthing you shouldnt be... the sin there is lust not the fact that your married or not but the fact that your letting lust get the best of you
292585
Firstly - Divorce is wrong according to the bible. Thinking with heart instead of mind I would say that if you love someone you want them to be happy even if it isn't with you. It is hard to accept and very painful but it is sometimes what has to be done. This includes relationships before marriage as well. If divorce can be avoided then rather take that path, work on it. Love is not always a feeling it is a choice!
176683
Absolutely not. The husband should find out why he's unhappy about sex with his wife and try to remedy the situation. Some women may not know how to do sex and please the man. The same goes with men. Excellent sex, usually comes natural "after" learning your likes and dislikes and the likes and dislikes of your partner. Some like rough sex. Some like gentle sex. There are many positional variations that will make you happy or unhappy. Discuss them with your wife and explain to her that sex is a wonderful thing and can be enjoyed. So, start working for a common goal, finding out what works and repeating it. Accepting defeat and running away from your life partner is not the solution.
296860
I think the way it works is that marriage was more of common law marriage. if you had sex, you were pretty much husband and wife , unless of course the woman was a slave in which case, she would be a concubine, or unless it was your neighbor's wife, in which case, you would be stoned to death.
1075996
All of the above honey.  Marriage and a relationship while married is a complex paradox of fun and pain and love and anger and joy and sadness.  In a good marriage the good things far outweigh the bad things, but marriage is work and sometimes (most of the time) not easy work.
2550
Relationship in marriage is not like a cage. It is sharing of various issues - feelings, emotions, togetherness, oneness, sex and many more. Afterall both are life partner. Pls don't make it a cage. Feeling free after being single is not the right solution. Happiness & freeness can be felt/ realised even being together also.
94020
it's a sin..because you're cousin is cheatig on his/her husband/wife..and you are liable because you contribute on his/her evil act...that can be considered as an evil act because it's unfaithfulness.
961517
Lovers steal from us because -\n1.  it's easier to con someone who loves & trusts you.\n2.  there is NO way to prosecute them if you knew them romanticly. (See love fraud website for details.)\n3.  they need you to be broke and defenseless as a means to contol you.\n4.  IF you vent your anger, or tell your friends, YOU will be the one who is humiliated over it. You'll be told how stupid you were to trust them, how could you believe such a liar, etc? \n\nLove Fraud victims are punished by society, scorned by the police, and left to go it alone. You were robbed of your money, robbed of the truth, and betrayed by everyone. \n\nI will never be able to trust ever again.
320224
I'm married for 13 years and my marriage it isn't perfect,but after all this years I think is better being married than not,because you have more than one possibility to share your happy (or not happy) moments with the person you love,one way or another.Happiness and unhappiness are hard to be supported alone.
1047025
Nope. I married someone that loves me and cares for me so deeply. I did love him once, but he killed my love....now that I am married I realized that I hate myself for not following my heart. Its not fair to try to make someone happy and living a fake life that you may not feel. Trust me. I can't get out of it, and each day gets harder and harder.
348110
The forbidden pleasure is your neighbor's spouse - or, if a spouse, coveting someone who is not the spouse. (especially if vows of fidelity have been exchanged). It is forbidden because if people give in to such desires, there will be a trail of pain and distrust. Nothing good comes of infidelity in its affect on family, friends, even neighborhood and town. It is not very often that spouses can mess around with no negative consequences. Infidelity always intentionally causes pain. It cuts right to a person's ability to trust. There are always victims. It just makes sense. If you want to mess around, move on first. I'm not a Bible-thumper. I am not talking about open marriages, etc. This is about lying, cheating, and putting energy that should go to partner and home elsewhere. That is why it is a forbidden pleasure.