Divorced Men, please respond--How long after your divorce before you began to date?
360753
To soon \n\nI was on the rebound\n\nIt depends on the person I have been single 4 12 yrs now\n\nI was looking 4 love but most of us dont know how to love 4 a life time commitment\n\nI believe she must be attractive, I wont know untill I see her as we cant really say till we meet the one\n\nClean yes and neat
213063
Hey, I know how you feel. I'm the one who told my ex-husband that I wanted a divorce and it took him 2 years to get up off his lazy butt and have it finalized. As for why your ex-husband still acts bitter, I really don't know. MEN!!!
729163
Let me think..... hmmmmmm   10 years ago I was "happily married" and planning to stay that way, so was not even considering dating ever again (other than date-night w/ hubby, and w/0 kids)\n\nNOW>....... separated a couple of years, been thru the .... "I'll never date, no-how, no-way,.... and am at the stage of thinking...........  maybe..... and starting to keep my eyes and ears open for possibilities.
463690
When I divorced my first husband I swore I'd never get married again. Well, a year and a half later I fell in love. Six months after that I remarried a terrific man who helped me raise my sons. That was 20 years ago and we're still together and very much in love.\n\nI agree with you about the bar scene. I was fortunate to meet my husband through my family. Many churches have singles groups for adults. \n\neharmony.com seems to be a great place to meet just the right guy: http://www.eharmony.com/\n\nIt is scary when you first start dating. Sometimes you just have to take a deep breath and say yes to that first date. You already know the things that you don't like from your first marriage. Use that knowledge as you get to know your dates. I'm not saying carry that baggage with you, but it can be a yardstick to measure by. Take your time and don't rush into anything.\n\nOnce you know that you're going to get married, then introduce him to your daughter. Talk to her ahead of time so she knows what to expect. Let their relationship develop at its own pace. \n\nMirror.co.uk has an article that may give you some guidance: http://www.mirror.co.uk/sexandhealth/sexandrelationships/tm_objectid=16872368&method=full&siteid=94762&headline=will-a-new-man-upset-my-child--name_page.html\n\nI found my true love after a disastrous first marriage. You can too! God Bless!
337779
Divorced and single? I don't know I've never seen it before.
706520
It takes time to find someone whom you have mutual chemistry with.  I had went on thirty or so dates before I met someone I wanted to even date a second time, let alone have a relationship with.  After about 4 years of dating, I finally met that one.  We dated for 2 years and have been married for four.  Don't give up, don't get discouraged, just make sure you keep improving yourself so you are ready to make a go at a successful relationship.
664789
Dude, you sound just like me. My wife left me last July.  We had been together for 7 years.  We didn't have kids, do you?  I think that might make a difference.  Anyway, I turned 28 2 days after the divorce was final.\n\nYou have every right to feel scared.  Since we were kids whenever we hooked up with our exwives, we never really went through the dating scene that you are about to enter.  I see that some of the peeps are advising you not to enter in to a relationship, but you arent asking about a relationship, you are asking about dating, gotta keep that seperated.  If you are anything like me, your world has stopped spinning and you are all sorts of messed up in the head.  Don't let that part of you bring down the rest of you.  For me, it was real freaking important psychologically to know that I could still pull tail.  Let me tell you, it was not that hard.  Just so you know, I am nothing special.  I aint Mr. GQ.  I aint some gym rat either.  I tell you that because I always see dudes our age at the bars all GQ'd out looking like they live in the gym and I never thought I could compete with that, well don't.  You don't have to.  You don't want the bar flies that chase those dudes anyway.  \n\nFirst thing you gotta do is get your mind right.  You are a dude that was faithful to 1 girl from the time you were an irresponsible kid till now.  You havent been in bars chasing skeezers every night since you turned 21.  You are a good dude that is different than those type of guys.  You understand relationships and women.  You know the expectations of a woman and will naturally meet them.  Things like calling, being thoughtful, etc. are hard for dudes who have never been married, its natural for you and women love that.  Girls that are our age have the same concerns that we do.  Good girls are looking for good dudes and are willing to give you a chance if you can present an acceptable formula of traits.  You know you can.  \n\nI have dated 5 girls since my wife left me 9 months ago.  1 was a girl that I knew from highschool, (work that circuit).  3 were girls that I met via my job that worked for other companies, and the most recent one was an acquaintance of one of my friends wives.  If you are anything like me, your friends are all married and the wives know that you are a good dude, thus willing to set you up.  Keep your expectations real.  You know deep down the level of girl that you can pull.  Work all angles and dont listen to anyone who gives you a time table.  You need female companionship to get your esteem up.  Take it where you can get it.\n\nYou'll be alright.  It'll all work out for you my man.
156309
Yes, emotions really run rampant after a divorce. I even contemplated killing myself after mine. It just takes time to get back into a comfortable groove. Just give yourself time. Spoil yourself!
1042803
I was 46 when I divorced.  The first woman I dated was just being grateful for my helping her get a job.  She was 30.  I found a vast cultural gulf between us and we were unable to bridge it.  For example, the most significant even in my life was the U.S. war in Vietnam.  She was nearly as far removed from Vietnam as I was from WWII.   The war, and the war protests, were significant in forming many of my lasting attitudes about all sorts of subjects but that influence was foreign to her.  So, it is not the age difference, but the cultural difference that killed our relationship.  Little things like whether a man would wear a ball cap while sitting at a restaurant table.  Many men of my age find that incredibly rude while younger men do not.  Some feel those type of things can be overcome.  Perhaps so.  Good luck
165144
It really depends on the situation at hand and the couple as to whether or not it is too fast. I knew a couple who married after only about 6 months and neither was financially stable which caused problems in the marriage etc. and it ended in divorce because they were both pretty unhappy with the situation. Another couple I know dated for 3 months and then married and they've been married for almost 30 years. They were financially secure. I think being financially secure is a main thing to look at. you dont want to put any extra stress on the relationship because right after you are married is supposed to be one of the best times of your life and the most enjoyable. \n\nOn another note, dating long term doesnt hurt anything either. I've been dating my boyfriend for 3 years now.
785858
I have been married for 8 months, after being toghether for 4 years. The relationship went worst and worst from the 4-th day of marriage, and now we are waiting for the year to pass, so we could divorce... 0.001% satisfaction... :(
651100
I dated my ex wife for 7 years before we got married...after 10 years of marriage and 2 kids she say's to me..\nI do not love you anymore,,,I need time to grow...\n\nNow bare in mind this was on my 30th B-day....oh yea she also said ....HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
283848
I myself am now just getting my divorce finalized at the end of the month. The amount of time varies with how comfortable you feel about seeing another person. It takes some time to get adjusted to the "single life". I have to agree that you don't want to introduce your children to someone that isn't serious. It's bad enough you had your heart broken by someone but you don't want your kids to go thru that over and over. It doesn't make you look good as a parent and your kids will grow up seeing you differently. Bottom line is there is no set time limit. It's all on how and when you feel yourself when you are ready.
375985
Even if she wanted the divorce and she no longer loves him, (which is unlikely because you can not turn off all your feeling that quickly) she probably is not ready to date.  There is a lot of remorse and even more guilt that goes along with asking for a divorce.  Even though she may have wanted it she still has to mourn the loss of what was and what might have been. Then she needs time to heal and to totally let go as well as time to work through the guilt and begin to build up her confidence again.  Don't rush her, you do not want to encourage her before she is ready and before she has moved through the recovery steps.  She may need somewhere between 4-7 years.  i know it sounds like a long time, but unless you have been through a divorce yourself you can not know all that is involved and it doesn't matter who wanted it it just takes time.
748148
I divorced somebody like you lolol....good luck in your life
361492
see if he wants to take it to the next level, dating.  if he says yes, then go on a few dates and see if he shows you any signs of him liking you.  Just take it slow.  how is he feeling about just getting divored a year ago?  does he still have feelings for her?  these are things that you need to know.  if he does then it's the wrong time to say anything about how you feel.  you don't want to rush into it unless he's ready again.  which he might not be ready.  either way seems how you've both been divorced for whatever reasons, you both just need to take it slow and make sure it's what you both want.  good luck
317744
First I was single and sometimes lonely.  Then I was married but not bored, even though he could be very boring!  I kept my life active.  Although we were both satisfied with our marriage, it did end 9 yrs later.  When I found myself single again, I decided not to be lonely or bored.  I got online and dated a lot.  Had an absolute blast!!!  Then I stumbled upon Mr. Right and we're still having fun.  The two options you gave are not the only ones to choose from - in this life, YOU get to create your reality every day.  If you didn't like yesterday, tomorrow can be different.  I like the old axiom: if nothing changes, then nothing changes.