Should i join the army even though my wife dosent want me too?
359110
Regardless of the political ramifications of joining the armed forces in a time of conflict, the experience can be very rewarding if you go in for the right reasons.\n\nYou'll need to evaluate the reasons of why you want to do this and balance it against other important relationships and plans for the future.\n\nIf you're running away from problems, it's not a good reason to go...they'll still be there when you return.\n\nOn the other hand, if you see this as a path to bettering yourself and taking yourself to the limit, I can think of no better choice.  It will truly make a man of you....get what you can out of the experience.\n\nMost importantly.....come home alive.  I'm sure there are people who would deeply regret your loss of life.\n\nIn peace....
1005552
There are no promises that you will be safe....  so how do you make that commitment to her that you will be.  The men in your platoon(or whatever) will be trained to do their very best and obviously you want to come back in one piece if you are deployed.  But it takes a while to get training.\nYou can tell her that God will be watching over you (because he will) and that you look for
1102031
Your friend really has to exhaust all her options before considering joining the military. I joined the Army reserves 5 years ago in hopes of using the money to finish college and make a better life for my family (mother and sister). Well 5 years later and my unit has been deployed stateside and to Iraq  back to back. I havent had enough time to finish my college courses that I started back in 2000. There is money available for college such as GI Bill and army tuition assistance but in most cases it pays for 75% of your tuiition. The army's basic training is not all glits and glam its very hard work physically, mentally, emotionaly not to mention if she has young children they will be without their mother for 9 weeks of basic training plus the weeks or months that must be spent in training for you MOS(military Occupation Specialty) and if shes deployed thats another 6- 18 months overseas and believe me family is what she will miss the most. If I could do it all over again I would have sought wise counsel before signing my life away. Although the experiences have been once in a lifetime and I was able to move out of chaotic circumstances I always wonder what if I never joined the military where would my life be and how would it be different. I have changed and my mindset has changed. I never discourage people from doing what they feel is best  I'm just offering my experiences   God bless
354421
buddy the last thing you want is for your woman to want you only for your money. look if she goes with the other chap well consider yourself saved. its hard but welcome to the real world. life goes on! cheers. there will be other women believe me.
460481
Why not! But at the end of the day its all about how you feel about a women with 2 kids! if its not what you want, dont go there....but if you think that you can take the challenge, go for it and enjoy the love and affection that she has to offer.
1064856
I'm an army wife, and I think that AF would probably be better for a family man.  The army (depending on MOS of course) has very long deployments, long hours, and a lot of time away from the family-- I've heard that it's not so much like this in the AF.  \nAs far as I know, all branches deploy, and there are varying levels of danger in each job, in each branch. For people to automatically assume that one branch is more dangerous, more worthy, better... it's completely ridiculous and totally untrue.  All of the military branches have a purpose, and I think that the various branches would fail if the other ones weren't there.  Make sense? \nThe trash talking you hear is all pretty much good natured, from what I can tell-- almost like rival sports teams in a fun league.  We have friends in all branches, and the trash talking that goes on between them is unbelievable sometimes, but it's all in fun.  They know that they are working basically for the same employer and purpose, and would protect each other with their lives if need be.\nAlso, please make sure that you know exactly what you're getting into with the military.  A lot of families thrive in this lifestyle, but the divorce rate is really high because of all of the stressors that civilian familes don't have.  For example.. imagine deployment.  You go to work one day, and come back a year or more later.  You end up missing everything in that time, from births to deaths to anniversaries to holidays.  It is very difficult, and requires a lot of adjustment on not only your part, but also from everyone in the family.  If you can, talk to not only a recruiter, but also people who have served or are serving in the branches that you are considering.  They can probably give you a good idea of what to realistically expect.\nMake sure that you talk to your wife too.  Even though she won't be the one signing the papers or receiving the paycheck, this decision will affect her greatly.  There's a lot to think about with this... please take the time to make the decision for you and yours.  Good luck!
71552
In all honesty, just be blunt about it.  There is now reason why he shouldn't want to be with you.  I can relate to an extent because my wife wants it all the time all day and we have only been married for just over a year.  But I have been away from home the entire time and when I came home she made it sound like that is all she wanted out of me over the phone.  don't get me wrong I wanted it just as much, but just feeling like thats all she wanted made me feel less of myself.  \nI don't think you are in such a situation, but I still feel the best way is to come and say in.
1067606
Bella, I am a male with 22 years experience in the Canadian Military. I am also married.  Firstly, if you have chemistry and feel this is Mr. Right your major concerns are:  (1) are you willing to relocate and up and leave behind friends family etc for your significant other.  This can have be a major stressor in Military Relationships from own personal experience.  (2) He could be called away to a "high risk" combat environment, which would leave you alone for prolonged periods. There is also your career aspirations to consider.  The military is better at caring for family then in the past, however, their first concerns is still exigencies of service or service first.  You have to prepare yourself mentally for that.  My final piece of advice is for both of you to sit with the Military Social Worker.  He/she can give you great advice and insight into what it is like being a military spouse.  It is an honor to serve ones country,  and he can also take his military training after his 3 year engagement and apply to the civilian sector.  Many civilian employers find military background and training extremely marketable  Finally, I wish you both well and and all the best to the both of you as you embark on the great adventure
644508
you should seriously reconsider your decision, look around at whats happenning in this world, you are very young give yourself a chance, you seem to be very smart so think long and hard about any decision you make to join the armed forces, our soldiers are the bravest and best in the world but i womder how many would tell you to pick another career, whatever your decision may be God Bless You and all of our brave men and women who protect and fight for our country, also don't forget to include your parents in this decision.
1126970
i tink she is jus leadin you on...\n\nif she told u that she cant be attach becoz she got to go in army, than y did she get a new bf?\n\nnow that there isnt anyone, and u are still there, i guess, she is jus goin back to u?
329819
No. It's not fair to the person you are married to. Why not be with who you want to be with and let your wife find someone who truly loves her. She'll be upset at first, but you will all be happier in the long run.
191884
With the information you have provided, I'm really not sure you should propose.  You certainly shouldn't propose until she gets over this love of someone else...that is just begging for trouble and, if she gets the chance to get together with him in a month, a year, 5 years, will you then have an unfaithful wife?  It seems that she relies on you as a friend and that she loves you that way.  It may be that she will take you as a replacement for the one she really loves and I don't think you want or need that!  I know it is tough, heart breaking and demoralizing, but you need to look after yourself and what is best for you!  Don't settle for being second best.  You want someone who is devoted to you and loves you unconditionally.  Good luck making these tough decisions...they are probably the toughest ones you will ever make and will be life changing.
55737
Yeah thats horrible that you would even ask that question. I'm assuming that you are currently in. It's people like you that make this Army weak, and headed in the wrong direction. You made a commitment to the Army and to the Nation, and you uphold that commitment. You are a complete coward, and I personnally as a fellow Soldier would not feel comfortable with you in. Man up and take on the responsiblity that you agreed to. I know of a way to get out, but I am not going to tell it to you, you don't deserve it, you deserved to be kicked out, dishonorably.
1157649
Sounds like you have some talking to do... and from that decide whether to 'take it' or leave it. However you are married now, and that is supposed to be for better or worse. As her husband, (now) its really up to you to support her emotionally as financially.
336229
dont go it causes too many problems, what if she does not want to come back with you? what if you dont want to stay with her, you might have to supporrt her whole family if you get married. but if your sure its what you really want then, go for it, just dont be disapointed and dont take advatnge of her if your intentions are not honourable
61549
It sounds like she has no respect for you and has no consideration for your feelings.  Why would you want to be with a woman like this? Would she be so understanding if you were spending your free time with another woman?  You need to take charge of the situation and put your foot down let her know that this is unacceptable behavior and if she refuses to put a stop to it you know that she is not the one for you.  Ultimately the decision is yours do you want to live this way and if she is not looking out for your childrens best interest than maybe you need to.
615369
Listen up buddy!  It is the right thing to do.  I know it comes off insensitive.  I know it sounds harsh, but you are not dooming your relationship.  You are not saying that you think your wife is gonna leave you.  \n\nUnfortunately, family court is so unfair and slanted towards the female that us men are backed in to this position now.  If you marry her and she decideds to get with your buddy, she still gets half of everything you worked for before you met her.  Is that fair?  NO!  I know your to be wife isn't gonna do that.  The fact is that if you guys are married till death do you part, she is going to obtain the benefits of whatever you are protecting anyway so why should it even matter?\n\nIf she isn't willing to accept it, I would question her motives!