well i need a help about that whom to choose betwwen love and family if parents are not ready from my choice?
361548
hey wen u wr falling in luv wid him did u thiNk of all dis,,,at tat time u wr strong enough to face all probs or might hv thought of tat jo hoga so hoga dekha jaye ga,,,so d time has come face it,,,,,2 ways to face difficult situations either alter ur difficulties or alter urself to face it,,,,if u think u r rt,,den b wid ur luv,,,,parents just wanna c their kids happy,,if u r right den go ahead n grab ur lv 4ever,,join sm course which countinue fr sm time ,,it'll b good excuse to avoid ur marriage at d moment,,n d probs which u wr talking abt matters to parents bt not lovers,,u r in d process of settling down in ur lives so matterial stuff need time to be achieved,,be ready to ans all ur parents' Qs,,,n give ans wid CONFIDENCE den dey wont argue,,,prepare to BLACKMAIL EMOTIONALLY while answering Qs,,(haha u need to research a lot) just intro him wid ur parents tell him to put good impression in meetings,,n after smtime reveal ur relation,,,,but never ever regret fr anything,,ALL D BEST,,u need to give respect to both lv n parents,,so b in limits while achieving ur goal,,dont leave ur lv in d mid way,,,
623820
You have one mother. Men/women come and go and depending on the time in your life they maybe inappropriate anyway. Dont ever ditch you mother for one who may make you feel good for a few seconds. They might seem like the best thing since sliced bread but they are not worth it. If you are having conflict with your mother over a partner then there is possibly a very good reason - parents do not go through life "blindfolded", so give them some credit and remember who gave birth and/or raised you.
1137056
if your an adult then you can see who you want too. it would be nice to get your families approval but you dont need it. go with your heart and hope that your family comes to like him as much as you do.
223094
I think you should choose the person who you feel you enjoy being with most.  If this is a decision on which of the two you want to spend your life with, I understand why your family and your church's opinion makes a difference.  However, they will not be seeing him everyday, for the rest of their lives.  They won't be kissing him, listening to his opinions, his problems, his good days and bad days.  After church service is over and your family goes back to their home, the two of you will be left alone to live your lives.  It seems you should base your decision on who you truly, truly feel the most feelings for, and who you can see fitting into your life for a long period of time.  Hope that helps :)
774035
H.  I don't know why you have to ask what you should do.  To marry because you don't want to hurt family, or to save yourself from embarrassment is ludicrous.  No one should enter into marriage unless they love their fiance and plan to stay with them til death do they part. It is really not fair to your fiance to begin this union feeling the way you do, and have you even considered what kind of life would any children have if you did not love their mother.  There really is nothing to contemplate.  You should break off the engagement, stop the wedding and go on with your life.  Marry only when you know you want to spend the rest of your life with the chosen one. Good Luck!
996552
You could always break up the engagement. Marriage is about a life long commitment. Its not about making your parents happy. Does everyone in your culture do arranged marriages? Could you break up and your family not shun you? If the girl you love could commit forever to you (ask her!), then I'd say break up the arranged. But you need to talk to the new girl and see if she is that serious about you, if you only want to stop the arranged marriage because of her. Personally, I'd stop the arranged because its not a person I picked. We are talking about your spouse, the mother of your children, the person you'll be sleeping with the rest of your life! This isn't something your parents should be picking. I understand that its traditional in some cultures, but not where I live. I'd be scared to know who my parents would pick for me if they could have. Definately not the guy I married. It took years for my Mom to like him, but we've been married almost 9 years and still very much in love. \nI guess it just depends on if you want to spend your life with your parent's choice or yours. But you have to live with her, not them!
442763
Be careful, your parents CANNOT possibly decide what is best for you unless you are a child.  Please LIVE and LOVE your own way in life...there is sooo much to be lost otherwise!
250237
Why is it a hard decision to make? Is it because you do not know which one is the right man for you, or is it because you are worried about your kid?\n\n\nIf you are worried about what is best for your kid, ask yourself this: Is there any reason that the guy you are dating wouldn't make a good second father? Something must have gone wrong with your child's father or else it seems like there wouldn't be another man in the picture to start with. If you have moved on, don't go back. That will always just be another extra tension in the relationship and it will not be good for any of you. Your child would be better off having 2 separate happy parents than 2 parents pretending.\n\n\n\nIf your kid is not the reason you aren't sure, then ask yourself this: Are either of these guys the right man for you? I have been stuck between a couple of guys before. I thought that I was truly in love with them and it tore me up every day to know that some day I would have to pick one. But after it was over, I realized something. I wasn't really in love with either of them. They had qualities that I loved, and they were both great men. But neither of them was quite right for me. When you find the right guy, the answer to your question should be obvious.\n\n\n\nTry this. Think hard about both guys. Take away any fears of "what if" you make the wrong choice or of your kids, friends, and family not approving. Now, ask yourself ... Are you and your child safe with both men? Are they emotionally supportive and loving toward both of you? And which one will make you feel the best about yourself?
830567
This is a good question on an even better topic.  It is very important to make your wishes known as to what you would prefer should you ever be in a position where you are unable to make those decisions.  I make sure my parents know I do not want to be on life support.  This is a very smart thing to do, and highly recommended.
570216
She can't be asking you to choose for no reason at all. Either she fears for your safety with this guy or there's something wrong with her mentally. Not trying to be funny, but parents just don't refuse their children be happy unless they have mental issues. You should sit down and talk to her to find out why and make your decision from there.
848606
you definitely have a dilemma.or quandary. i hope that ending your life isnt the option you choose. you havnt been able to live it.so why not allow yourself to. i dont know how many of the 200 in your family are immediate. but i do know this. if you are a respected man in your family then obviously you have earned some creditability. so some one in that family will trust your judgment. as they old saying goes choosing friends and not being able to choose relatives. so of the 200, are you willing to lose any of them by out-ting yourself. i would guess that not all are someone whom you respect. there has to be a lawyer in there.lol life isnt about quantity, its about quality. you have done nothing wrong in your life to be who you are. so be who you are. tell those you trust in your immediate family first. keyword is "trust" the rest will be done for you. if you are shunned for who you are, dont expect anybody to understand. that would be selfish on your part. im sure a small percentage will except you. allow yourself to feel love and love. its better than thinking you have to end your life for someone else not to be offended by your being gay. live your life and enjoy it. best of luck
890478
Does she love you back? If so, try going together to talk to each set of parents. Maybe one or the other will agree, and help convince the other set of parents. \n\nIf neither accepts it, maybe you will just have to wait until you are old enough and do what you want then. Good luck :)
303782
Take the responsibilities, marry her!\nIf you're not prepared for that, you must tell both your and her parent that you're the father of unborned child and wish to give the baby to anyone wants to adopt him/her.\n\nWish you good luck!
196027
You have to choose if your obtaining your happiness at the expense of upsetting your family is worth it.  It is a personal decision and there is no right or wrong answer.  Sooner or later you will have to stand up for what you want in your life and not everyone will agree with your choices.  It is just a question of if now is that time for you?
361424
If your love is strong and you feel like fighting for him, I think it's time you make a stand. \n\nSometimes in life, you have to give importance to your needs. Not what your parents or the society thinks. Do you think, you'll be able to forget him and live with somebody else the rest of your life?\n\nPersonally, I would feel incapable and weak If I did that.  Try to make people around you understand that you won't be happy with another person of your religion.  If your happiness means something to them, they'll compromise.\n\nIt's wise to avoid conflicts by both of you not asking to change another (typically religion). If nothing works, go and settle down in a place far away to try to establish peace after a while with your families. (This is, only if you aren't left with any other option)
1058110
show them that he is a good person and how well he treats you, thats really all you can do, maybe if they see those sides to him they will lessen up on the issue alittle bit and not judge him by the color of his skin, but by his character and as an individual, if not then remember that you will always love your parents and will want them to accept whatever life choices you make, but they wont always like what you choose and it is afterall your life and you and you alone have to account for your own happiness....*good luck*
567892
You can pick any you feel comfortable with.  "Mixed" is often an option on questionaires, etc where you have to fill that out. \n\nI am sure you are just lovely- don't be labled by anyone.  We're all a mix of cultures.  Talk to your parents about your struggle, they can help.