Share a Joke...Here is my Joke..Why did the Cookie go to the Doctor?...Because he felt crummy!!!:_)?
357595
WHY???\nmeh well\num ...\ndoctor doctor i feel like a pair of curtans\n(pull urself together man)
131629
One day... a girl was sick and her boyfriend had come over to fix her up and make her feel better... so he brought some soup, brownies, and a tape with some re-runs of the OC and Laguna Beach. He makes the soup and sets everything on a table next to her and pops in the tape. \n\nShe eats the soup and watches the video. Her boyfriend says that he's gotta go to meet a friend, so he leaves and she breaks out the brownies. She finishes them right as the video tape was over... right after Laguna Beach ends, it cuts to a scene with her boyfriend getting a blowjob from her best friend and she spits his cum into the bowl of brownie mix. \n\nHe looks at the camera and says, "You've just been dumped." \n\n\nI GOT THAT AS A FWD FROM A FRIEND, THOUGHT IT WAS FUNNY SEND THAT TO HIM, MAKE HIM THINK ABOUT THOSE CHOCOLATES YOU SENT HIM, THE JERK.
72529
Why did Tigger have his head in the toilet?  Because he was looking for Pooh.\n\n(Sorry if that joke is disgusting, it's the only one I know)
761678
hahaha......I wanted not to read this joke, since, it is captioned for the lady's. Just because, it is from the Hedgehog, I read it........\n\nA clean and cute joke.........just keep hogging.........lol
1089943
A doctor tells a man "I've got bad news and I've got worse news.  Which do you want first?"\n\nThe guy says, "I'll take the bad news."\n\nDoctor says, "You have 24 hours to live."\n\nGuy says, "What's the worse news?"\n\nDoctor says, "I forgot to call you yesterday."\n\n\nThat's hilarious.
1062296
One day a man came home from work to find his wife crying hysterically in the kitchen.\n\n"What's wrong dearest?" asked the confused husband.\n\n"Oh darling," sobbed the wife, "I was cleaning little Suzie's room when I found whips, handcuffs and chains under her bed, along with a very erotic porn magazine! What ever are we going to do?"\n\n"Well," replied the man, "I guess a spanking is out of the question?"\n\n\n.................................\n\n\n\n\n\nDentist (begging to patient): Could you help me? Could you give out a few of your loudest, most painful screams?\n\nPatient: Why? Doc, it isn't all that bad this time.\n\nDentist: There are so many people in the waiting room right now and I don't want to miss the 4 o'clock ball game!\n.................................\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\nA blonde reports for her university final exam, which consists of mainly true and false questions. She takes her seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes her purse out, removes a coin and starts tossing the coin and marking the answer sheet: true for heads and false for tails. Within 30 minutes she's all done, while the rest of the class is still working furiously. \n\nDuring the last few minutes, she is seen desperately throwing the coin, swearing and sweating. The moderator, alarmed, approaches her and asks what is happening. \n\n"I finished the exam in a half hour," she replies, "and as I have more time left, I'm rechecking my answers."
478086
There is a case of a man in Yorkshire or Wales, I forget which, laughing so hard that it caused him to have a heart attack. His fit of laughter was brought on by watching The Goonies with Eccythump. The victim's wife sent a letter addressed to the Goonies to the BBC thanking them "...for helping him die with a smile on his face...because it was how he wanted to have died..." :0)
910889
OMG this joke is one of my favorites!!! Got any more?
872517
funny. thank you, i just heard the worst three jokes of my life but you saved me from sorrow. I appreciate it lol.
472420
A woman was very distraught over the fact that she had not had a date\nor any sex for over 5 years.\n\nShe was afraid she might have something wrong with her so she\ndecided to seek the medical expertise of the well known Chinese sex\ntherapist, Dr. Chang.\n\nUpon entering the examination room, Dr. Chang said, "OK, take off\nall your crose." The woman did as she was told.\n\n"Now, get down and craw reery, reery fass to odder side of room."\nAgain, the woman did as she was instructed.\n\nDr. Chang then said, "OK, now craw reery, reery fass back to me."\nAs she did, Dr. Chang shook his head slowly. "Your probrem vewy bad.\nYou haf Ed Zachary Disease. Worse case I ever see. Dat why you not\nhaf sex or dates.\n\nThe woman asked anxiously, "Oh my God, Dr. Chang, what is Ed Zachary\nDisease?"\n\nDr. Chang sighed deeply and replied, "Ed Zachary Disease is when\nyour face look Ed Zachary like your asss."
1016976
Haha, that's cute! Here's a joke for you:\n\nIn class, Johnny constantly made faces at the teacher, Ms.  Smith. "Johnny, when I was small, my mother told me that if I kept making ugly faces it would freeze and stay like that." Johnny looks at the teacher and says,"Well Ms. Smith, you can't say that you weren't warned."\n\nI tried, please give me the points.
933739
OMG too funny....Thank You for the laugh.\n\nHave A Great Day!!!!!!!!!!!!!
327049
So my first reaction was that this joke was kinda cheesy, but when I tried to tell it to my dad, I started laughing so hard that I couldn't tell it any more.  Thanks for the great joke!  I hope you have more to tell us :)
917599
Well, I liked it. LOL. I have seen this before, but jokes ARE for sharing. The human mind is an amazing thing.\n\nHave a great day!
1076135
A man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel for their 25th anniversary. As the couple reflected on that magical evening 25 years ago, the wife asked the husband, "When you first saw my naked body in front of you, what was going through your mind?"\n\nThe husband replied, "All I wanted to do was to **** your brains out, and suck your **** dry."\n\nThen, as the wife undressed, she asked, "What are you thinking now?"\n\nHe replied, "It looks as if I did a pretty good job."\n\n\n------------------------------...\n\nAs an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman."\n\nShe removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?"\n\nA man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!". \n\n\n------------------------------...\nThere was an elderly man who wanted to make his younger wife pregnant. So, he went to the doctor to have a sperm count done. The doctor told him to take a specimen cup home, fill it, and bring it back the next day. The elderly man came back the next day and the specimen cup was empty and the lid was on it. Doctor: What was the problem? Elderly man: Well, you I tried with my right hand...nothing. So, I tried with my left hand...nothing. My wife tried with her right hand...nothing. Her left hand...nothing. Her mouth...nothing. Then my wife's friend tried. Right hand, left hand, mouth....still nothing. Doctor: Wait a minute. You mean your wife's friend too?! Elderly man: Yeah, and we still couldn't get the lid off of the specimen cup.\n\n\n------------------------------...\n\nA guy walks into a sperm donor bank wearing a ski mask and holding a gun. He goes up to the nurse and demands her to open the sperm bank vault. She says "But sir, its just a sperm bank!", "I don't care, open it now!!!" he replies. So she opens the door to the vault and inside are all the sperm samples. The guy says "Take one of those sperm samples and drink it!", she looks at him "BUT, they are sperm samples???" , "DO IT!". So the nurse sucks it back. "That one there, drink that one as well.", so the nurse drinks that one as well. Finally after 4 samples the man takes off his ski mask and says, "See honey - its not that hard."\n\n\n------------------------------...\n\nThere are four kinds of sex :\n\nHOUSE SEX - When you are newly married and have sex all over the house in every room.\n\nBEDROOM SEX - After you have been married for a while, you only have sex in the bedroom.\n\nHALL SEX - After you've been married for many, many years you just pass each other in the hall and say "**** YOU"\n\nCOURTROOM SEX - When your wife and her lawyer **** you in the divorce court in front of many people for every penny you've got. \n\nSource(s):\nThis beautiful woman one day walks into a doctors office and the doctor is bowled over by how stunningly awesome she is. All his professionallism goes right out the window...\n\nHe tells her to take her pants, she does, and he starts rubbing her thighs.\n\n"Do you know what I am doing?" asks the doctor?\n\n"Yes, checking for abnormalities." she replies.\n\nHe tells her to take off her shirt and bra, she takes them off. The doctor begins rubbing her breasts and asks, "Do you know what I am doing now?", she replies, "Yes, checking for cancer."\n\nFinally, he tells her to take off her panties, lays her on the table, gets on top of her and starts having sex with her. He says to her, "Do you know what I am doing now?"\n\nShe replies, "Yes, getting herpies - thats why I am here!"\n\n\n------------------------------...\n\nThis couple were in bed getting busy when the girl places the guys hand onto her *****. "Put y
929334
i hope this joke can make you laugh\n\nA little boy walks into his parents' room to see his mom on top of his dad bouncing up and down. The mom sees her son and quickly dismounts, worried about what her son has seen. She dresses quickly and goes to find him.\nThe son sees his mom and asks, "What were you and Dad doing?"\n\nThe mother replies "Well you know your dad has a big tummy and sometimes I have to get on top of it to help flatten it."\n\n"You're wasting your time, " said the boy.\n\n"Why is that?" asked his mom, puzzled.\n\n"Well when you go shopping the lady next door comes over and gets on her knees and blows it right back up."
1145448
ok...its a long one\n\nonce there was 2 guys in the dessert . they had been there for weeks so they were hungry and really thirsty. Suddenly they spot a cabin , and quickly RUN to it. they knock as hard as they can hoping somebody will b there. then this old, hairy, smelly, fat, greasy lady comes out and says "what the f uck do you want?!"\none of them says "we are very very thirsty and please can you give us some water???" ...she quickly says "umm..i'll tell u what i'll give ya'll some water if one of ya'll fuc ks me"...one of the guy says "hell no im not fuc kin that bit ch" ..then she slams the door. A few minutes later the other guy knocks on the cabin and says " ok i'll tell you what, i'll f uck you but under one condition, i have to blindfold you." she agrees and she takes off her clothes. the guy desperate for water gets grossed out so he takes a corn on the cob and fuc ks her with it and throws it out the window. She says "again again! " so he fu cks her again and again he throws out the corn out the window. When she's finally satisfied she gives him the water and he runs outside to his friend and says " duude i got the water we're not going to die" then his friend responds " fu ck the water i want some more buttered corn!! "\n\n\nthe end