I've met a married man and now we're getting steady,  should i end our relationship already or fight for it?
372599
Alot of good answers on here...I am going to give you an answer from the other perspective. I was a wife who was cheated on. Granted, we were only married 5 1/2 years but it was extremely painful. Imagine the person you love most in the world and have dedicated your life to coming home one evening and saying to you "I am seeing someone else and I think I love her." It makes your heart stop, your body ache, and the word "numb" doesn't even come close to what you feel. My initial response was "Oh My God NO! You can't leave me!" After a few days it was "Get the F**K away from me!!" If his wife were smart she would kick him to the curb. The two of you deserve each other. You are no better than he is.
603941
No, it certainly isn't enough to keep a relationship going. You have to have lots of patience and be able to communicate. Communicating certainly is tough right now and that's where the patience comes in. (Patience is also absolutely necessary when it comes to stubborn people as well!) Plus everything going on around us is bringing a lot of confusing feelings into play right now. That's not helping the situation and deployment just complicates matters. You guys are the only ones who will know if you can get through these tough times, but he mostly needs your support right now. He's physically in a world far far away from the life he's used to... and mentally, who knows where?
399411
It doesnt sound like he is fully committed to you yet. You should give it time and see where it leads. If it doesnt change look elsewhere.
1084285
If you are both now struggling which mean you have developed some form of romantic feelings between each other. then it would be wise to just break up now, unless you are ready to commit adultery.\n\nIts painful, but just try stoping seeing each other for a while. You both need to maintain your dignity.
183270
It's impossible to determine whether the fighting will stop without knowing the root causes of your arguments. From your description, it sounds as though you have been fighting about issues large and small, that perhaps might point to a deeper conflict. Perhaps part of the problem has to do with your expectations. Marriage and children are both overwhelming issues, and it might be premature to anticipate them so early on (and before you have entered into marriage). With all of this pressure related to the future of your partnership together, you might be stifling your present romantic life.\n\nHave a great future!
705536
You should feel special and irreplaceable, but it will take some time, are you sure you want to stay with him, ask your self is me and my b/f headed down that marriage path? if the answer is no, than why are you with him? your wasting your time, if the answer is yes, get some counseling together, and work things out, fight for your relationship (not the girls he was txt'ing) but work hard, and it will blossom, it will take some time, are you willing to put in that time?
653278
Break It off.  If you are unsure and she won't wait then you should break it off.  It is not good to go into a marriage unsure of your feelings.  If your to-be wife won't respect your feelings then maybe she isn't the right person for you.  Better to end it now then find out in six months what you already knew.
440039
emotionally dilemma for him..\n\nget a grip and don't rush things...let him settle his matters with his wife first...before you proceed with your relationship..
274940
Well, I think you should ask for his opinion. Just carry on for a lil while, and if you both find that you cannot bear the circumstance any longer then maybe breaking up is good for both of you. At least you don't have to worry too much about meeting each other and the distance either.\nBut if you two (esp. him) feel that you can still carry on, and that the love is true and strong enough to help you overcome this obstacle, then just stand beside him and fight for it. Happiness just worths its name if it is gained from challenges and hardship. Nothing valuable is easy to get my dear : )\n\nStand firm, and if you two have the same idea, then just go with it, whatever it might be...
644650
Oh girlfriend you are much better prepared.  Since you are mutually agreeing to divorce it shows that you are aware of what it is you want in a relationship, marriage or otherwise. The next man that you decide to marry will respect you more since you don't hold any ill will to your current husband soon to be ex...It shows that you have taken your life seriously. I am soon to be divorced from an abusive cheating husband, but the man I am currently with is the exact opposite.  If it weren't for his tenderness and compassion, not to mention love of God I would not be writing this to you.  Your gonna be fine darling!
1052249
Hey tleigh...well after what i just read, it seems to me that the 2 of you are happy with the way things are now.  If this is the case then why ruin a good thing.  I believe the only time 2 people should get married is if they are both really committed to the whole marriage thing.  But, if you still have to stop and ask yourself if this is a good thing then most likely its not gonna be. But, like I said earlier,  you 2 seem to be doing just fine the way things are.  You know how the old phrase goes..."Don't fix it , if it ain't broke"  As of right now, it doesnt seem as if anything is broke in this relationship....Good luck with everything, tleigh...
177224
If you are ready to take the next step and you feel it's right then it's the right time. I'm getting married in November and i know it's the right thing to do. I love him and there is no point in waiting, i'm 25 and my family and friends enjoy his company which made it easier for me to make my decision. If you don't have to change your life to involve the other person but gradually include them, then it's good. Don't think that maybe someone/something better will come along and you might miss out, that's wrong.
817989
well...ur situation is just like mine now..lol\njust think carefully....do u still wnat this relationship to continue?
677311
Wow, talk about mixed emotions. It sounds like this man doesn't know whether he's coming or going. He wants you and then he doesn't. He's just all over the place with his feelings. You see, a lot of men and women carry over issues from past relationships. If he has children I assume he's been married before. What do you know about his last relationship? Has he been single for long? I notice you say you became seperated just last July. Are you looking to become serious with this new guy? You have to ask yourself what it is you want out of this relationship and then determine whether you two are on the same page. A word of advice though, don't push him into something he's not ready for. It will backfire and send him running the other direction. Also, give yourself some time to be single for a while and don't rule out dating others either. Maintain your independence. It's very attractive to men. A man wants a women who is independent and who doesn't define herself through him. Don't make it too easy  for him to see you at the drop of a hat every time he wants to. However, always treat him with respect and honor and praise him when he's nice. I wish you luck!
315940
Well, seems to me you all need to spend some more time together!  IF you all are really serious about getting married then you all should be at that point in your relationship to communicate well with each other.    It's ALL about communication, trust and love.\n\nIt'll put your heart at ease to give him a call and meet up face to face to talk about everything you two are feeling right now.  It's a BIG step to take and everything should be out in the open with you two and comfortable with your decision.\n\nGL hun and hope all works out for you two!
670607
Please do not put too much of your heart into this new man, you need all of your senses and energy to finish the divorce and to be centered to a healthy balance before starting a new romance. It is not fair to the new man or yourself to rush this, ....if he is the ONE for you then he will be patient and wait....use your wisdom that God has granted you to get thru these time and pray for support daily from the heavens.
315235
From what you are saying, it sounds like you may be all ready for a relationship, but he is not.\n\nThough, honestly, if you already have children with the guy and yet he is still not "ready" for a commitment - then you probably need to get rid of him. He is not for you. If he does not have the maturity to take responsibility in his life to care for his lady and his kids by at least becoming a legal husband and parent, then there is most likely some serious issue he needs to get over.\n\nI would recommend seeing a counseling psychologist, believe it or not. They really can help in these kinds of situations and will be able to offer some excellent, customised-for-you-and-him advice. That is probably the best route, if you cannot get anything out of him by sitting down and talking, seriously, directly with him. He needs to understand that not only do you want to be married, that you also feel that it is right to get married.\n\nSaying it's "too expensive" is a total cop-out, no questions about it. If two people really wished to (and, hey, when I marry I plan to do something along these lines), they could have a tiny wedding, and cut to the chase right away. "You want to get married? Yeah? Okay then. You're married." Not difficult at all.\n\nAnyway, you need to talk to him about this, and if that does not get you anywhere, try speaking with a personal counselor. I loathe to sound cold, but you may be with a guy who just does not deserve your time and patience.