How do you get along with your in laws?
366369
by having a fromal relation with them, courtesy and kindness is required. make sure you never interfere with their lives and never allow any interference with yours from their side.
472469
Keep your wife on your left side and your mother in law on your right...(the right kind of distance for both, and works well for you from what i hear!)...\n\nAs for your father in law, you dont have eyes in the back of your head do you?
914107
Your husband should have stuck up for you! \n\nBut he was most likely scared to offend his mother by doing so...\n\nI would just put on a happy face in front of her, because when it comes to unruly inlaws--noone wins!
176088
FIRST OF ALL YOU NEED TO PARAY TO GOD TO GIVE YOU STRENGTH TO BE ABLE TO KNOCK THE H*** OUT OF THEM IF THEY GET IN YOUR FACE AGAIN, BECAUSE IT IS NOT UNFAIR OF YOU SO DO NOT THINK THAT WAY. YOU SHOULD TELL THEM HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT THEM AND MAKE NO QUALMS ABOUT IT. THEY SHOULD HAVE BEEN IN YOUR DEFENSE WHEN YOU AND YOUR HUSBAND HAD THAT ARUGUMENT AND HE WAS DISRESPECTING YOU, INSTEAD THEY USED IT FOR THEIR TIME TO VENT HOW THEY FELT ABOUT YOU. YOU NEED TO SIT DOWN AND TALK TO YOUR HUSBAND ABOUT THIS ISSUE, AND LET HIM KNOW HOW  YOU FEEL ABOUT THIS. DO NOT DEPEND ON YOUR HUSBAND TO SHIELD YOU FROM THEM, BECAUSE IT SEEMS THAT IS IS DEFINETLY SLACKING IN THAT DEPARTMENT. YOU BETTER LET THEM KNOW WHERE TO GET THE HECK OFF AT, AND THE NEGATIVITY THAT THEY HAVE TOWARDS YOU IS MUTUAL (EVEN IF IT IS NOT THEY DONT HAVE TO KNOW THAT), BECAUSE YOU HAVENT DID ANYTHING TO DESERVE TO BE TREATED LIKE THAT. \nFURTHERMORE YOU DO NOT HAVE TO DEAL WITH THEM THOSE ARE YOUR HUSBAND'S PARENTS NOT YOURS, DO NO FEEL THAT JUST BECAUSE YOU ARE MARRIED TO THEIR SON THAT YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THEM. TO MAKE THINGS EASIER FOR YOU DO GOT TO THEIR HOUSE, AND DO NOT LET THEM COME TO YOUR, IF YOUR HUSBAND WANT TO SEE THEM THEN HE CAN GOT OVER THERE.  \nYOU DO NOT HAVE TO BE "UNDERSTANDING" ABOUT A D*** THING, AND YOUNEED TO TELL YOUR HUSBAND THAT YOU ARE NOT GOING TO KISS THEIR A**** JUST TO GET ALONG WITH THEM, AND IF HE DONT WATCH THEN HE WILL BE BACK AT HOME WITH HIS MOM AND DAD.  YOU ARE A WOMAN IN YOUR OWN RIGHT, AND YOU SHOULD NOT HAVE TO PUT UP WITH THEIR CRAP. I HOPE THIS HELPS!!!
533701
I have been with my husband for 6 years all of which we have got along. She does not raise her voice in anger(maybe to grandkids). But I have never seen her argue with my husband.She is probably what everyone would want in a mother in law, she minds her own business and if her son is in the wrong she takes my side and tells him what he is doing wrong. SHe is not judgemental on how clean my house is or how is raise my kids. THe only advice I get is to do with the kids health when they are sick. \n\nMy mom takes my husbands side, so therefore it's like my mom  in law is more of a mom than my own.
674466
Inlaws are bullies against their daughter inlaws usually because their sons don't stand up for their wives.  Any man worth his salt should stand up for the committment he made to be joined with his wife.  That means he has to let go of being tethered to his parents apron strings.  Good luck.
303092
Mothers are often jealous of a son's relationship with another woman since it usually means they are no longer #1 in their son's eyes. On another level she is also jealous of the attention your father-in-law pays to you and she is making sure he doesn't come to like you too much! \n\nSisters often resent their brother's girlfriends and wives, regarding them as "new daughters" that take their parents and brothers attention away from them. Kind of like sibling rivalry.\n\nThese women will settle down in time once they realize you are no threat to their relationship with your husband or their husband/father. Encourage your husband and father-in-law to include one or both of them in the conversations or activities that are making them jealous. Don't let either of the men make comparisons that put you in a better light and provokes their jealousy. For example, if your father-in-law compliments your cooking, then looks at his wife and says, "why don't you ever make that," then you should make some comment about her best cooking to keep her feelings from being hurt. You will see lots of little things like that if you watch for them. Try to smooth them over, and just be the best person you can be. Hold your temper! It will get better in time. \n\nIf it doesn't you will know that you tried your best and just avoid them as much as possible to prevent disagreements and try to ignore the hurtful things they say and do. Your husband will take a hand if they disrespect you too much when he knows you are doing your best to get along with them.
755606
Just don't go all "Meet the Parents" on them! Try not to discuss politics or religion, although don't let them beat you down into agreeing with something you strongly object to. Take spare makeup and things in case you feel the need to touch-up, and if you're wearing tights take a spare pair. This probably won't make all that much difference to your in-laws, but it'll make you feel more confident. It's hard to strut your stuff when you know there's a big ladder on the back of your knee! Oh, and dare I mention it... if you think you might be on your period take 'supplies' - every girl knows how embarrassing it is to be caught out! Don't wear heels that are too high, too, in case you fall...\n\nBasically just be yourself. I know people say that all the time, but if you act like anyone else they're going to be very surprised when they get to know you better, and they might not think you're a very honest person.\n\nGood luck, I'm sure you'll get through it fine!\n\nTigerwolf x
991103
ohhhhhhhhh. I hate know-it-all-inlaws. I have a sister in law like that and a mother in law that butts in and makes me feel stupid.\nThe only thing you can do is smile and endure. Pretend like you dont hear them or something.
1068237
honestly, it's tricky when dealing with in-laws and even siblings.\nmoney will ALWAYS get in the way.\n\nit sounds like you guys were doing a great job at being family by doing things for each other...until the furniture.\n\ni would be firm and explain that there was no agreement for payment for your wedding services or their truck services...so, all these situations are exclusive from each other.\ntell them that you guys feel you are asking a reasonable price and if they don't want it for that price, then that's o.k. and you'll find someone else!\nbe kind and courteous about it, but don't feel that you are obligated to take a financial hit for family.\n\ni would prob make a family price a little lower than i would a stranger price, but they shouldn't haggle with family...that's poor manners.\nif they can't afford it, then suck it up, explain it's out of their price range and go find something else!  \n\nif they want to throw a fit, then they are the only ones looking selfish.  you guys look like you're trying to help them by selling some furniture.\n\njust be firm and now, you know how they view favors...for the future.\n\ntake care.
347789
My advice is to sit down and talk with your wife. Find out why she left you and try to resolve the problem. If you do get it resolved, your kids will listen to you and your wife. If it doesn't, talk to your kids. Find out why they went to stay with your wife and inlaws. Agian, try to resolve the problems. If those problems can't be resolved peacefully with your wife, get a lawyer so you can have time with your kids too. It's not fair to you to  have to sit and miss your kids who you love while your wife gets to see them all the time. You should both have equal rights to see them.
807832
How much do you trust your husband to make the right decisions for your family??????........\nSupport your husband in whatever way he needs you to at the moment......you cant worry about how your in-laws feel about you......when they are gone, you will still have your husband and he will appreciate you standing by him....regardless of what happens....\nI fought a similar battle w/in-laws once upon a time...I wish i had just supported my husband....I wish i had understood that I could make it about me and my feelings (which I did)...OR I could have let him do whatever  he needed to do for his parents for him to be ok....knowing that our familys best interest was never  out of him mind.......(I did not do this) OUr marraige suffered ....Now I look back and see It was not worth it.....I SHOULD have trusted him.......He was trustworthy....\nThey never did like me.....but now thery are gone and it doenst matter....But my ex and I are still trying to come to terms with the fallout from that time(as well as other issue).....\nPICK YOUR BATTLES CAREFULLY..........some are not worth the war they will lead up to....
447081
There is nothing wrong with that. You have every right to feel comfortable with your in-laws. If you feel better with them than you do with your own family, its okay too. You are human and you donot have to feel guilty for prefering your inlaws to your own family. Liking your inlaws may even go along way to strenghtening your own marriage.
619317
DON'T change for anyone but yourself. \n\nPlus, even if you try to change for your in-laws that doesn't really mean that they will accept you. They may do so on the surface, but deep down they still may not...and you'll gain nothing. Life is too short to pretend to be someone else and to be bitter.\n\nMy little suggestion is to be you and YAY for having a supportive husband!!! That's wonderful. If you don't have to be around your in-laws a lot, it shouldn't matter. \n\nMy secret: I loved to freak my ex's mother out with my views on various subjects, weird responses to questions, etc. But you have to be secure and not really care about if they like you or not to do things like that. Just a fun tip.
923437
Well, I completely understand where you're coming from. You want to be loved and welcomed, but unfortunately, not all in-laws work out that way (no matter what the race, religion, etc.). My grandmother's mom HATED my grandfather for years, and he wound up eloping to marry her.  They are both the same exact religion and ethnicity too. Eventually, the mother grew to appreciate and respect my grandfather and my grandparents have been married for almost 60 years. \n\nThing is, you shouldn't have to deal with going someplace where you are "tolerated", but again you don't always have control over that. All that you can do, is just suck it up for your wife, kids, and be the better man. Eventually, I would say talk to your wife about having your OWN holidays though and if her parents want to visit YOU then that's fine, this way they are on "your turf" now so to speak and if they disrespect you, you can ask them to kindly leave your home.
887043
Because part of your family doesn't live nearby, Maybe you can alternate, so that one year you stay home and spend the holiday with whoever lives close by, and the next year you go to see the ones who are farther away.\n\nAnother option is to arrange a date within a week or two of Christmas when you can celebrate with the family members who don't live nearby. Maybe even host a dinner at your home and invite them. \n\nWe have run into similar problems with my family and my in-laws, even though they only live 15 minutes from us. My mother-in-law wanted us to go to church with them Christmas Eve and then come over first thing in the morning. But my parents also wanted us over early in the day. We finally had to make the decision to divide our time in the way that worked best for us. So now we go to church on our own on Christmas Eve, then go to my parents' early in the day on Christmas, and my in-laws' later in the afternoon.\n\nThere's no way to be everywhere at once, and they'll understand if you can't always be with them on Christmas Day.\n\nI know it's tough, but you'll be so much more relaxed if you space your visits apart in some way. Christmas shouldn't be spent rushing around trying to see everyone and please everyone. Take time for yourself!\n\nGood luck!
971576
Sounds like your husband comes from a rough family and still has some of their bad habits. I wouldn't try to get his family to like you. It's not your fault they are mean. It wouldn't matter how perfect you were, they are just not that good at being nice to others. If I were you, I would remember everything your family has taught you about being a good person and trust that. Just be the best person you were raised to be and maybe your example will help soften them over time. Maybe not. But at least you can be strong knowing that you are doing the right thing even if they are not. Do not judge yourself by their standards. They obviously aren't experts at being decent, so don't take what they say so seriously. Try thinking of them compassionately as children who were not given the right tools and don't know how to behave better. Most of all, be kind to yourself, even if others are not. Talk kindly to yourself and think about all your good qualities. When you are feeling hurt try to be patient with them. Remember, they can only hurt your feelings if you believe what they say. Make yourself strong and calm inside and you'll be OK. Think positive! Good luck to you!