What is the best way to help my boyfriend get over his sexual addiction? (mas*terbation, pornography, etc)?
369112
Sexual activities as you describe here are an addiction when they harm your social life. It depends on how much time and energy (!) your friends put into it.\n\nIf it harms your relation with you, give him a set time. (e.g.6 weeks?) Reduce the time he spends on his addiction gradually. Go out a lot and do refreshing things like jogging an walking. Reduce the use of coffee and alcohol and fast foods. Explain that sex and love are not the same. If there is no significant change (minimum reduced to 70%) leave him.
325815
pour it all over him when he is asleep. then about 15 mins later wake him by way of extreme passionate groping in his netherlands do this until he associates the smell with pleasure. you can try similar methods when you want money. my dear its a lie the way to a mans heart is not his stomache.
48955
I would highly suggest the book "Without A Hint" by Joshua Harris.  It talks about lust especially, but any kind of addiction/obsession in our lives.  The book has been renamed to "Sex Is Not The Problem (Lust Is)"  Below is a sight that will tell you some on it.  My friends and I read it, its a great book.
285081
Just try to do more things together that dont envolve sex, maybe something will spark and ingnite his passion again. It's not an uncommon thing for guys to not want sex that often. Check out www.psychologytoday.com they have a lot of articles about this topic there. good luck to you!
930878
Pornography is like cigarrettes: it's addictive, it's poisonous, and people who make it and use it like to act like it's no big deal.\n\nAll men do NOT watch porn on a regular basis. There are some men who watch it all the time, some men who watch it once in a while or perhaps watched a few when they were younger, and men who don't watch it at all. I can't tell you which category your boyfriend falls in.\n\nSign to watch out for: he keeps a bottle of lube near the computer, by the TV, or any other place that is so blatantly obvious to anyone who walks in the room.\n\nIf your boyfriend just REFUSES to talk to you about this, then you may try couples counseling or individual counseling. In the meantime, try to decide if his porn-watching is a deal-breaker for you, or if you are willing to be okay with it. If he's dismissing your feelings completely and just not listening to you anymore, it may be time to get out of an unhealthy situation.
717985
cheating was wrong. and you were right to make him earn your trust back. But i would not get to bent out of shape about porn. It IS just looking with no personal contact. Besides 90% of men in America look at porn, the Internet is just a new way to get it instead of buying magazines in a store. But if you are really uncomfortable as you sound i would seek couples counseling to see what is going on. It will help more than you know.
77526
Often men will turn to pornography to meet their emotional or phsyical needs.  They may feel that they cannot be rejected by porn, that they can be young again, that they can fantasize about being sexy.  Men may fantasize about both giving and receiving pleasure through porn (giving pleasure? you ask, well, the actresses are acting like they love what they're doing and men may fantasize about providing that pleasure).\nHowever, adiction to pornography does exist and can be a major issue.\nThe questions are:\n1)Is he addicted?\n2)Is he turning to porn to meet significant unmet needs?\n3)Is it merely a recreation that he enjoys and you do not?\n\nIf the answer is three then you should find a comprimise with him that you can both accept.  If he loved exploring caves and that terrified you, you'd probably work something out. . .\n\nIf it is one or two then you should be evaluating your marriage.  Counseling, practicing non-judgemental communication, and returning emotional and physical love to marriage are always good places to start.
828254
I don't know about you sweetie, but an addiction is an addiction, and he is addicted.  Marriage is Respect, Admiration Passion and Trust.  For sure the first two are not there, since this is grinding on you.  And Passion is a bit tuff, if he oogles 13 year old girls on the computer,,, eeewwwwww.   You may trust him not to betray you by cheating, but hey, I trust my dog too. You don't have a marriage, you just don't know it yet.  You have a rommate..... Porn addiction is about the toughest thing of all to cure. ..... next question is why did you marry this jerk???? and in my eyes, any guy addicted to porn is a jerk.  How do you not find this disgusting????  And why are you still there????  In your place, I'd dump him and get out of this marriage.....You'll only grow to resent this crap as the years go on.... If you have children, you want this guy to be their father?????Sorry, sweetie, you asked
701855
You tell him that you are aware of his addiction problem, and offer to get him help. You can only help somebody that wants to accept your help. Your relationship with him will always come in second to his addiction with his drug of choice. You need to move on and leave this realtionship in the past. You may always love this guy, but not all love relationships are meant to last a lifetime. This is not a good healthy relationship for you. Cry a little and then pick yourself up, gather your self-esteem and move on and find happiness elsewhere. Take care of you. I wish your boyfriend luck, he'll need it! He has a long road ahead of him, before he will ever be ready to share his life with someone else.
497321
The only way to quit sex is resistance. It should be like quiting drugs and other addictions. Find a substitute that you wouldn't find as horrifying as being addicted to sex.
757144
Give him a day to remember, instead of the usual night thing make it a treat all day, make him look forward to coming home and make sure you are both alone all night, loadsa different positions and loadsa nice food, use the food in different positions!!!  No lingerie..............go naked nothing better!!!!  xx
771422
Learn to get yourself off\n\nExplain your issues to your man\n\nGet him to learn to give you good oral sex
1115153
Been there and it's hard to see this happening especially to those you love. You really want to help? Get as much information from drug addiction websites, counselors, groups, friends, etc that you can. You talk to counselors and see if you both can come up with a solution. He can't do this unless he wants to get help. You be his therapy, what I am trying to say is, you do all the leg work, and hopefully you can get a counselor to put him into a program where he has no choice but to with drawl. Educate yourself in order to help him. Good luck.
1179069
Tell him in a nice way at an appropriate time that things have gotten dull in the bedroom and maybe you two should try to spice things up. If you are still into this guy and want things to get better make him think that you think it is a couple's issue and not just an issue with him not being good anymore. Ask him if you two can experiment together and try new things. If he was good once he is capable of being good again. Maybe he has just gotten comfortable and feels that there's no need to try to impress you anymore, which is wrong if he thinks that way, but he may just be satisfied with the way things are. You need to let him know, without hurting his fragile male ego, that you are not satisfied in the romance department anymore. If you come at him like he is just no good anymore you are going to alienate him and make him feel insecure. Like I said, maybe approach it like you view it as a couple issue instead of an issue of him not satisfying you anymore. You will probably get a better result that way.
797219
Fact:\n\nmen look at porn to escape from something they are running away from something they are not dealing with.  I am not suprised you feel unnattractive! - this is abusive behaviour and totally disrespectful to you.\n\nI don't think it has anything to do with the fact that he finds you either ugly or attractive. It is to do with him and the effect of what he is doing is making you feel like you are the one with the problem but you are not - he is the one with the problem and he needs to sort it out now.\n\nIt seems like he has a pretty serious addiction and is neglecting you in place of porn.  If he doesn't want to talk with you, then he will have to talk with someone about it if he wants to remain in a relationship with you.  This cannot go on and he is not accepting responsibility for his addiction and apologies aren't going to change this.\n\nI think you feel used and responsible for what I am pretty sure he has lured you into those things you now feel really guilty about. But  he is addicted to porn, has been even before you got together as an addiction doesn't start just because of what you two did together.  His behaviour has it's roots from an earlier time and has just grown over time.\n\nYou are not guilty for sharing what you thougt was some fun between you - that was seperate from any porn he engages in and doesn't make you responsible for what he has done and is still doing now.  The videoing will have nothing to do with what addicction he has, so please don't feel guilty for his problem.\n\nPorn is very destructive and any person who jusifies it in their answers have no real idea as to the damage it causes.  It is a real relationship killer and is abusive.  Give him the choice of either getting help for this problem or to pack your things and leave him to it.  He will continue to be like this the longer he chooses to be in denial about it.\n\nWhat you did with him wasn't wrong or bad and didn't cause the addiction he has. No amount of sexual adventer between two loving couples can create an addiction to porn - it already has to be there inside the person and he had this even before you got around to adventerous sex.  He made his own choices and you didn't help him just because you had some adventerous sex togther.\n\nHe crossed the line of love and intimacy with you in a way that is totally disrespectful to you.  What he did with you was a shared intimate thing but didn't give him permission to then jerk off with fictional women outside of the relationship he has with you.  This line has been crossed and he cannot allow his apologies to make up for what he is destroying with you.\n\nHe cannot love you nor respect you and so he has to change or be left to his addiction.  This is just awful and truly feel awful for you.  You do not deserve this and you are probabley better off ditching him however difficult this might be, it has to be done because he will continue to abuse you like this by not meeting your sexual or emotional needs - that is abuse.\n\nWhat you have done right is be committed to a serial porn addict and love him regardless and unconditionally and shared an intimate and loving relationship when it was one.  So how does this make you wrong in anyway? - You gave him all that a committed girlfriend could have done and more and he is the one doing the neglecting and abusing, so what is he doing wrong? - this is the question.\n\nHe is doing everything a dysfunctional person would and is abusing your trust and love for him, so he is the problem not you. He will be the one making you feel guilty for what he is doing, so now he either has to stop, ot you walk out on him.
88083
I know you don't want to hear it, but GO TO A MEETING! I don't know what kind of addiction your talking about, but to get off on the "right-foot", you need to know, your not alone with your problem. You need "their support", as much as they need yours.Addiction is a pain in the ass, but it can be conquered. You have to stay clean, and build inner strength.
254897
You need to let him know sex is not something to be ashamed of. It is an expression of the love you two are suppose to share. Try (not saying you don't) showering, feminine cleaning, lotioning, lightly perfuming, lighting candles before he gets home, fix a romantic table (in your room) with flowers & dinner & lying naked on the bed with soft stimulating music playing. If that doesn't work try getting some xxx rated movies to watch together. If that doesn't work then I'm sorry sweetie but it's time for you to move on. Oh ya I forgot to tell you to talk sexy to him & let him know you want to give him the best he's ever had. *ROCK HIS WORLD GIRL!!!!*