what has been the lowest point in your life and have you ever felt suicidal?
369781
the lowest point in my life was when my first husband shot himself in 1992, in front of me. we had a little girl that was 2 yrs old. after his death i got hooked on meth and became an alcoholic, and lost my daughter. yes i have felt suicidal, and have actually attempted, but i thank God now i was never successful. i now have my daughter back and another daughter that is 8yrs old, and a very loving husband, and a very loving God that has forgiving me.  no one should ever take their own life it is to precious, and you will leave alot of loved ones behind to pick up the pieces.  if you feel suicidal you should really get help, and pray. God answers prayers, but you have to really open your heart and let him in or you will never hear his answers.  good luck and God Bless You!!!!!!!!!
347143
what feels badly?\nlet me know then maybe i can help
80799
My dear friend,\nyou need to ask for help from someone that you feel safe to talk to. No problem in your life could possibly be worth dying over. I am sure that you have family and friends that love you dearly. My heart goes out to you and I don't even know you. Using food to feel like you have control over your life is only destroying it. For the love of your family and the aceptance of yourself you need to ask for help before you kill yourself. You ARE slowly killing yourself every day. If not for yourself, do it for the people who love you.
92161
I was in an auto accident once where the car went off the road and flipped in the air.  Once I was airborn I thought that 'This is IT'.  I didn't feel my life go before my eyes or anything like that.  I felt cool and calm.  When I did clime back up to the road a passerby had stopped and was shocked to find out I was not hurt.\nI've allso tried suicide, and when I woke up the next day, I was really mad at not being successful, but life goes on.
619979
I was with a girl I didn't really like and realized, how meaningless it is, while being with her. I couldn't continue....\n\nNever felt that bad.
639710
Hello there! I am sorry to hear you are feeling so down. People are so quick to say someone has depression. You say that you act like you are the happiest person on earth, but you aren't happy on the inside. You just have to believe that you do deserve happiness! I believe that you just have low self-esteem and self worth. 17 is a hard age! Believe me...looking back I felt the same way and wondered what the heck was wrong with myself. Just the pressures nowadays that are being put on young people is enough to make someone want to give up! I know to be happy is easier said than done sometimes, and it is a lot of work sometimes. Once you start believing in yourself it will get more simple. Life is too short not to have fun--experience life. I am not saying go out there and do foolish things, but enjoy the silly stuff. I am an adult and I still like to go to toy stores and play with the puppets! Because it makes me happy. I am not here to make anyone happy but myself. It sounds selfish, but before we can help others, we have to help ourselves. Just the fact that you asked the question on here shows that you are ready and willing to make a change for yourself. I have done a lot of "stupid" things in my life, but I have learned that loved ones are there for you no matter what you do. If people really love you, they are there for you no matter what! You can make little changes in your life. Use positive affirmation..when you start to feel those thoughts of hopelessness creep in--say to yourself that you are not listening anymore. If you are still feeling beyond hopelessness, there are many people you can go to to talk about it. It is not a sign of weakness to ask for some help and guidance. It is you standing up and saying you are sick of being that way and taking control of your life. I wish you luck and hope that I helped a little! Take care!
792898
a few times in life i felt at the end of my rope but when that happens I just tie a knot and hang on until it gets better. Now when my daughter was killed last year i really though i was going to die that day not kill myself as i have other kids and grand kids to be here for but just felt i was going to die right then and there my heart was so broke and it is just now starting to mend a little it will be 1 year on the 8th of Dec. but i am still standing please hang on when it gets rough tie that knot and grab hold it will get better God bless you
469331
Oh, I felt so terrible when I turned twenty - I wasn't a teenager any more, and felt things couldn't get any worse.\nIt was a major loss, I thought, of hope. I hadn't a clue how life operated! How could I? (Imagine asking a baby what they think of a discussion forum that gives you actual options?!) \n\nI thought I was supposed to be starring in the movie of my life by then, and if not, I was probably too ugly and stupid to be allowed to live. At twenty years of age, I was pretty amazed that people didn't throw rotten fruit at me in the street! I grew up thinking that now I was twenty, I had to wear navy nylon clothes, crisp white blouses, horrible shoes, and be a predictable adult. Or else be famous and be allowed to make my own rules - too late for that <g>. \n \nBut thirty was no problem, I liked my life and new career a lot better by then! I'd gained more than I'd lost, had made  good friends whom I still have. I'd outgrown the users and the naggers, and had the confidence to let them go gently, in a friendly way. And I was way too busy to be bullied by dominant people, or wonder or worry what was expected of me. I realised that if you are happy and busy, you don't feel the burning need to conform or go around telling everyone what you expect of them.\n \nThis annoyed my mother so much that she actually told me that I had disappointed her - that she still expected me to marry a glamorous and famous person! \n\n(Oh, if only she had spelt this out to me when I still thought she knew best and wanted the best for me! Pity about her ; )\n\nOne of my neighbours is eighty-two. She has so many interesting things going on, and has outlived anyone who annoyed her - she really enjoys life! I managed to catch her in last week, and asked her what it was like to be eighty-two. She laughed for a full minute and said "Well, when you consider the alternative!" Yes, there is life after thirty! \n\nMy aunt loved music, worked full-time, and took care of her mother all her life, and then went deaf. She just took early retirement and started dating! He made her admit that she couldn't hear well, she bought a hearing aid and they travel a lot to opera weekends. \n\nHey, there's hope for us all! : )
521451
Some suicidal people are religious, so that statement 'They haven't read the bible' is just silly and ignorant. \n\nIt's very hard to understand truly without ever having been there. But imagine the pain you'd feel if a loved one died, a loved pet, even a loved family member. \n\nThen picture how you'd feel if that feeling just continued for good, for years even, till you either slept almost all the time or got no sleep. Till you either ate too much, or ate too little. And how tired you'd get, feeling sad all that time.\n\nSuicidal people don't have any hope for the future. They're tired, sad, alone, and are starting to loose touch with reality. They might deliberately push away friends, or family, go quiet, they might hurt people's feelings and they'll start to think that it would be best for all if they didn't exist.\n\nIf they are religious, they may feel abandoned by whoever they believe in.\n\nAnd yes, they do loose touch with reality. \n\nPeople who survived attempted suicide usually return to normal with help and are very glad they survived. It's hard to understand what was going through one's mind, even for someone who survived being suicidal, but I hope I helped a tiny bit.\n\n\nEdit- smcin728 is half right. It is rather selfish, but no more selfish than people who smoke. (Like a mother smoking over her baby.)\n\nBut she is wrong in that for some suicidal people, their entire way of thinking is 'What would be better for everyone I love'. I remember at one point during it, when I had to watch my mother sink into a HUGE financial debt, that it would be best for her to get the life insurance and pay it off.\n\nYou've got to take it on a case by case basis. No person has the exact same reasons.
395586
I have forgiven myself for the worst hurt and pain I have ever given to myself. I did this and know how it worked for me. So I will share it with you because I believe that personal experience is the best teacher for others.\n\nI tried to kill myself when I was 19. The feeling within is the worst and knowing me, I did not want to carry this around in my body. It is like a toxin. I wanted it out as soon as possible, so one day not too long after that, I think maybe a month. I just had a quiet moment with myself and begun an very loving and wise inner dialogue with myself.\n\nI just told myself that she knows who she truly is and that just because I did this, it did not mean that is who I truly am. I just told myself that I am human, and that I am not perfect. That it is okay to make mistakes we did not know any better at the time. And to just learn from it, and that I am as worthy as I could ever be with my fullest potential. I just loved myself unconditionally with full acceptance and forgiveness. And bingo, I healed quickly from that. Now I can talk about it and feel nothing bad about it. I only look on it as just a trip over the wire type of thing.\n\nLearn that a behavior itself does not make who you are as a whole. You are human. You are not perfect, none of us here are! You already learnt your mistake, don't beat up yourself from that. It is not going to prevent you from being your fullest, true and most beautiful and loving self. The behavior does not prohibit you from being that!\n\nYou are the only person that can make you who you want to be. All the love is right there for you inside, give it to yourself.
1065530
An interesting question to answer as it is by default infinetly unanswerable. Imagine that feeling that you get when you wake up from the worst hangover of your life, you look outside and the sky is lifeless, grey, boring not even the once tedious sound of birds fill the air. Nothing.Silence, you realise suddenly that you are the last human alive. Why? What is my purpose? no purpose... you die.There. No life, no wind, no rain, no music, no shouting, no passion, nothing, a terrible vacuum of nothingness. But...things can only get better...
685320
I've only experienced total hopelessness like that once in my life.  The only way I got through it was due to the fact the breathing is an involuntary function and I didn't have the choice to stop.  It's probably not the answer you want to hear but there's nothing you can do but be patient...time will make everything bearable.
699775
Since I just went through a midlife crisis. I'd say my life is half over or half empty. I'm not at good at anything I once was. Only my typing has improved. My eyes are failing. My legs hurt. I'm missing some of my hair. You get the picture. But I'm still an optimist at heart. =)\n.
115083
At one point in my life I was really depressed. i'm talking clinical depression here, the kind you get when the chemicals in your brain get mixed up. i was a Christian at this point, but had been drifting away from God.\nanyway, i was standing by my window one day. at this point i was closer to committing suicide then i had ever been, and was contemplating the action right then. as i stood there, i suddenly felt this overwhelming prescence.\ni can't really describe what happened next, (it's too personal) but God came to me. i spent some time in prayer, just pouring out my heart. when i left my room, i felt like a completely different person. everything literally looked brighter.\n5 years later, i'm still following the Lord and couldn't be happier. i really believe that God saved my life that day, both spiritually and physically.
454707
Only if you feel like dying.
495343
It's was a really hard time to get through...i know about the suicide because i once had my own death planned...I am know stable and would love to help you...when you feel the way i've felt you feel like the whole world has turned agianst you and that no one cares or wants to understand what's going on with you...i can say that even though i was in a christian i felt like my own parents didn't want me...what got me through is the fact that there is one person worth living for...ME! if i took my own life  i wouldn't be only hurting myself i would start a chain reaction across the nation starting with my friends and their friends and so forth...so i choose to live my life for me and do what i want and fulfill my dreams! so tell your clients there are are people that care and there are people like them out here...i've been there done that...there's no point of ending your own life with the effects it will do in the whole sceem of things...
931551
You mention suicide, but just in case, please read here:\n\nCall some on this list that can help you!\nIf you kill yourself, your dead.  Then nobody can help you, you can't even help yourself.  My brother committed suicide.  Not the best option!\n\nSuicide: Don't let despair obscure other options\nDespair and hopelessness may lead you to think about suicide. But you have other options, from weathering an immediate crisis to creating a long-term safety plan.\n\nWhen life doesn't seem worth living anymore or your problems seem insurmountable, you may think that the only way to find relief is through suicide.\n\nYou might not believe it, but you do have other options — options to stay alive and feel better about your life. Maybe you think you've already tried them all and now you've had enough. Or maybe you think your family and friends would be better off without you.\n\nIt's OK to feel bad, but try to separate your emotions from your actions for the moment. Realize that depression, other mental disorders or long-lasting despair can distort your perceptions and impair your ability to make sound decisions. Suicidal feelings are the result of treatable illnesses. So try to act as if there are other options, even if you may not see them right now.\n\nNo, it probably won't be easy. You may not feel better overnight. Eventually, though, the sense of hopelessness can lift. You can find support, appropriate treatment and reasons for living.\nWhen you need immediate help for thoughts of suicide\n\nIf you're considering suicide right now and have the means available, talk to someone first. The best choice is to call 911 or your local emergency services number.\n\nIf you simply don't want to do that, for whatever reason, you have other choices for reaching out to someone:\n\n    * Contact a family member or friend\n    * Contact a doctor, mental health professional or other health care professional\n    * Contact a minister, spiritual leader or someone in your faith community\n    * Go to your local hospital emergency room\n    * Call a crisis center or hot line\n\nCrisis centers or suicide hot lines are often listed in the front of your phone book or on the Internet. They generally offer trained counselors — usually volunteers — who can help you through an immediate crisis. Some crisis centers with an Internet presence offer e-mail contact, but remember that responses may not be as prompt as they are with telephone support.\n\nTalking to someone about your feelings — connecting with someone — can help relieve the burden of despair and isolation, even if just temporarily. It may help you shift perspective and more clearly see that you have options beyond suicide.\nDaily coping strategies to manage thoughts of suicide\n\nYou may struggle with suicidal feelings frequently, perhaps many times a day. Develop a strategy to cope with those feelings in a healthy way. Consider asking a doctor, family member or friend to help create a strategy tailored to your specific situation.\n\n\nThat strategy may mean doing things you don't feel like doing, such as talking to friends when you'd rather hole up in your bedroom all day with the curtains drawn. Or it may mean going to the hospital for a mental health evaluation. But stick to your strategy, especially when you're in the grips of despair and hopelessness.\n\nAs part of your strategy, consider these measures:\n\n    * Keep a list of contact names and numbers readily available, including doctors, therapists and crisis centers.\n    * If your suicide plans include taking an overdose, give your medications to someone who can safeguard them for you and help you take them appropriately.\n    * Rid your home of knives, guns, razors or other weapons you may consider using for self-destructive purposes.\n    * Schedule daily activities for yourself that have brought you even small pleasure in the past, such as taking a walk, listening to music, watc