How do i confront my best friend about him taking ecstasy without getting him mad at me?
153447
There is no guarantee that he won't get mad at you because he is the one who gets to choose how he reacts. I would confront him anyway, because YOU wouldn't be a real friend if you didn't... and if he gets mad, the best thing to do is hope that he matures, realizes what he was doing was wrong, you WERE doing what's right by telling him and he'll get over it... and THANK you!\nI know it's a tough situation to be in, but doing what's right despite the other person's reaction (no matter how much you love and care for them) shows good character and integrity.
998482
Tell him. As a woman I know how easy it is for us to get into the classic withholding information/anger/feelings behavior, and say our favorite line when queried if something is wrong, "nothing". But men aren't stupid and they always know that "nothing" means "something", so instead of playing mind games about it, be honest and tell him - honestly. The key to any relationship is honesty. I am not talking about brutal, cut-his-throat honesty, as this will only make matters worse and make the argument bigger than what it is. I am speaking of the kind of honesty where you say something like this: "I am angry with you because I feel you did not ________ or "I feel you did _______ and this offended me." The key is to add "I feel" statements, rather than "You did" statements, as the latter puts the person on the defensive, and that will create another argument, though less intense than one generated by angry, blame and attack filled words.\n\nRemain neutral and calm. This is very, very hard to do in the heat of an argument. If the timing is not right and you are still too pissed off to tell him, address it at another time. You must remain calm and measured in your tone of voice. Be neutral and don't allow yourself to get emotionally plugged in to his reaction, which may be angry or defensive. If you have to, pinch yourself in the thigh to make sure that you remain calm and listen carefully to what he has to say!  Do not, no matter how hard you want to do this, interrupt.  If you feel that you are going to explode, then you need to excuse yourself and be alone for awhile. If you feel he is going to explode, you need to do the same.\n\nBeing honest and upfront about any anger induced situation (or anything for that matter) AT THE MOMENT IT HAPPENS is also key. Or, if not at that precise moment, later on in the day or a few hours later is also fine because it is still fresh in your combined memories. You know, as I do, that women tend to put off expressing their feelings (though not all women) and we allow cumulative anger to be built up inside of us until the tops of our heads want to blow off when we get angry. When we are triggered by the proverbial last straw, we explode and what was once a teeny, tiny stupidity, becomes a volcano, overflowing with lava! Everything he has ever done to you since you first met will be drawn out in single file and used as weapons, including the time when he looked at you the wrong way when you were tired. This is not productive. This not healthy for your relationship or YOU. Stress fouls up everything and makes you sick, so deal with things calmly and rationally when they happen. And as for those 5,000,000 things he did before? Let them go. If you didn't deal with them THEN, they are moot points now.  \n\nAs an aside, I am a patient sort who lets a lot of stuff roll off my back. However, at the same time, I have a very, very long memory and a temper when I am exceedingly provoked. When my hubby used to piss me off, I'd bring out the big guns and would go on the offensive. Every thing he ever did or said to me would come out, and the original thing that bothered me got lost in the emotional insanity. Not productive. Now? I tell him what I feel. Consequently, our issues are resolved quickly - and that is a relief!
482090
the fact that he was disrespecting you that much at the party.  whether you are together or not is irrelevant.  he obviously knows that you would not be happy about it and yet chose to do it.  that makes him deeply uncompassionate.  of course you are gonna check his phone, i would have done.  if he wasn't cheating then he would have no reason to be defensive.  of course he will get mad.  its the only way he can get away with not accepting responsibility for his actions.  he is not the kind of guy you really wanna be hanging round with anymore. the important thing is that you know what he was like.  telling him you know will serve as a good way to watch him squirm but will not make a bad situation good. it all depends how badly you wanna tell him that you know :)\nthe best advice is leave it alone and forget about him but that is probably not what you are going to do, and to be honest its not what i would do either.  i would wanna lead him down a path, get him on the subject and get him to dig a big hole then spring it on him.  then when he starts to get mad just sit calmly and quietly and just listen with a smile on your face waiting for him to shut up.  thats what i would do :)
387839
This will probably haunt you for the rest of your life if you don't come clean with your friend. Take her to a quiet place and just be honest with her. Remember friends should be able to tell friends everything! Of course you must expect her to be upset at first but if she is truly your best friend she should forgive you. Be honest. Tell her why it happened and why you are telling her the truth. This will also let her know what type of guy she is dating. \n\nI hope it works out for you.
560294
The best way to go about a situation like this is, is to go to counseling.  If money is an issue, there are places out there that provide help for free.  Even if he isn't using anymore, it's best to get help because it seems like there is a trust issue with your best mate.  Hope this helps.
690279
Have a mutual friend ask him about it without letting him know you were behind it. You don't want to scare him away if he's a good friend.
202139
Wow, that's a tricky one!  I'd say confront her about it.  If it makes you upset, you need to let her know.  It's not like you need a "right" to be upset... if you're upset, then you're upset, so be real with yourself and with your friend.  If she's a true friend, she'll understand and back off.  And if she acts the fool and tells u you have no right to be upset, she's prolly not the kind of friend you want.  There are no laws or rules governing this sort of thing... you just need to keep people in your life that respect you the way you want to be respected.  The last thing you wanna do is seal your lips, because she needs to know it's not cool with you before it goes any further, and give her a chance to decide how much your friendship means to her before it's too late.
337740
Confront him about it,put him on the spot and let him know he has explaining to do! Dont be afraid to confront him,he need's to feel like an idiot for being so dishonest with  you and need's to know how that makes you feel. IF he doesnt stop this,then you need to move on,because that's never a good sign,and is never going to make it into a long term relationship. People lie for a reason,and obviously it isnt a GOOD one. lier's continue to lie because people let them get away with it,afraid to put them on the spot,afraid to embarrasse them,ect,forget that,embarrasse the crap out of him,it might teach him if he know's he cant get away with it,but make sure you know why he lied to you,that should tell you alot,and please,dont let him tell you a lie about his lie,and dont let him make you feel guilty about it either,liers will try and make you feel guilty about their lie,such as "I thought if you knew you would hate me and not want me anymore" or "I didnt want you to know,because that's not who I am anymore,you have changed me"blah,blah,blah
411167
Take the high way out.  Look him in the eye and tell him exactly how you feel.  Because, if he really knows you then he knows you are playing games or acting out in anger.  My ex told me to my face and it bothered me.  Years later, it made me a better man.
390113
is there any reason to tell him other than to just get it off of your chest? if there is no way he is ever going to find out about it, then dont tell him. Even if it happened a long time ago, he could still feel betrayed. like i said. he has all the right to be pissed if you told him already. but if you guys are good friends you will be able to forget about it over a couple cases of beer.
923522
OK, lets look at your question...  "while I was housesitting this week I accidentally ran across undeniable evidence that he has a boyfriend".\n\nNo, you did not "accidentally" run across "evidence", you were being nosy. To justify you being nosy you then turn around and say "he's been LYING to me over and over for months and months". If you feel so hurt and angry, how do you think he will feel when he finds out about what you have done while housesitting? Yes, you should confront him...  about you being judgmental and not being the true friend that you have pretended to be to him.
878453
Tell him in the kindest way you can if you are a true friend you will stand by him and help him understand she is a cheat why was he baby sitting while she was out partying anyway?He sounds a nice guy don't let him be deceived by her.
842201
if he is there again, call him on it AS SOON as he gets there..something like...I hope you don't plan on getting drunk and acting like an ass again.  If he DOES, leave.  Plan and simple..remove YOURSELF from the situation..the only person you can control is you.  Maybe your friend will see what a hindrance he is then.  Good Luck!
999901
Tell him the truth that you aren't happy with the package...\n\nAnd move on... You have to have standards!!!
713509
Tell him you are not comfortable with the physical contact when he dances with your friends.  I think that's fair.  See if it helps the situation at all.  Reassure him that you trust him, and you're not accusing him of "almost cheating" with your friends or anything like that... it's just this one aspect of his behavior that you would like him to change.  If he backs off a little, but the dancing still bothers you, then go from there.  Good luck!
89685
I would tell him that he hurt me whether he was joking or not and if he apologizes, accept it. People say a lot of things they don't mean when they're mad. If he is truly your friend, he'll apologize, if he doesn't then I'd say, "Ya know what? When you decide to apologize, I'll listen, until then, I would rather not be around you."
475829
Apologize, apologize, apologize.\nThen just be honest and talk to him. Will he take your calls? If so just tell him what you just told us, that he is the best thing that has happened to you, and that you made a mistake, while under the influence and that it will never happen again, that you don't want to lose him as a friend, or as the man you love. \n\nAsk him has hasn't he ever done something he truly regrets in a moment of weakness and bad judgement. We all have to grow and learn life lessons as we go