Is it wrong to try to make friends with a husbands ex?
141135
Considering you aided in the breakup of her home, you should stay as far away as possible.  I suspect you either have feelings of guilt or you are afraid that your husband will do to you what he did to his first wife or you think he will realize the error of his ways and go back to the ex wife and YOU SHOULD!\n\nI can only assume there were problems in the husband's first marriage which caused him to seek consolation outside the marriage so you are not totally to blame for the distruction of their marriage, but you provided him with the means and the opportunity.  Now that you are in the wife's position I think you may see things a little more clearly.\n\nSomewhere within yourself you are questioning whether or not you can trust your husband.  You are questioning whether it is a pattern for him to seek outside the marriage at the first sign of trouble.  I also think you know your husband and his ex has unfinished business.  The problem that caused their marriage to breakdown was never discovered or brought to the surface and the possibility that he may wake up one day and realize he still loves his ex wife and he only hooked up with you because he did not know how to communicate his needs.  \n\nBefriending the ex wife is not going to keep the husband from cheating if he so chooses nor will it provide you with peace of mind.  Remember the old saying 'what goes around, comes around.  It is true and it is called Karma.
1017381
uh, why do either of you need your own friends of the opposite sex? Any friends me and Hubby have, are both our friends, (usually other cpls) but we never have over friends of the opposite sex that we are both not friends with. He is 'friends' with everyone @ his work, (male and female) but never hangs with them other than at lunch, or the 1-2 times a yr their is a work party, or Christmas party, both of which I go to with him. One chick tried to get some alone time with him, but he told her no. (this was a few yrs back) I know what she was trying to do and it made me mad as heck, but he thinks she meant nothing by it. Wrong! Guys are very naive sometimes. Sounds to me like she's trying to wedge herself in there. I wouldn't suggest you getting a 'friend' too, I would suggest counciling to figure out why either of you feels the need for seperate friends. I can totally relate though, cause men always assume if you talk about another guy, (like oh so and so did this) or whatever, even when it's nothing, just you mentioning another guy's name, even in telling a story, makes them think you want the guy. But yet they can't see that when a woman hangs on to their every word (like she appears to be) or tries to spend time with a married man, that she is up to no good. A good councelor may be able to help him see that. Make sure you go to one that believes in manogomy though, because I know there are some strange councelors out there that swing and all that though, (saw one on Montel) so be careful where you go. I would definitely put an end to it, though.now.
52087
By all means, if you and your ex had a good relationship while you were together, then I think you definatly should still be friends. My ex and I are still friends and we dated over 4 years ago. Ex boyfriends tend to be better friends that any other person sometimes because they know the real you. They understand you and they do care for you. I don't see anything wrong with it at all. My ex is a better friend to me than many of my other friends are.
60472
I think it is possible to have friends of opposite sex, but what concernes me about your story is that he  is not open with you about this friendship. He should have no problem with you being present during his conversations with her. Another thing is after you get married, friends fade away a little and your spouse becomes a focus of your life, so it is unnatural to spend that much time even with your closest friend. If you have concerns about her, tell him about it, and if I was in this situation, I would insist that he only talks to her when I am around at least for a while so you could see for yourself that there is nothing more to the story. If she is just a friend as he claims she is, he won't have a problem with you being around while he is talking to her. But make sure you keep track of all the conversations you are aware of and see if those are the only ones that appear on the phone bill, but do it without him knowing that you are keeping track for two reasons: you won't come across as insecure and controlling and if he is doing something wrong it will be easier to catch him. I hope I'm making sense. Try not to accuse him of anything right away, just tell him that his relationship with that woman makes you unconfortable and you want to work out a situation that will work for both of you.
973345
No way this is normal. You need to put a stop to this-pronto!   There is a reason she is the "ex" so you have every right to remind him of this. He should be over her by now and have made the commitment of being with you. He's married to you now so he hasn't any reason discussing anything with her or being under her control. With exception of talking about the kid anything else concerning the two of you is is none of her business. He's out of whack for communicating with her like this. Time for a reality adjustment. So get up close in his face and tell him in no uncertain terms to shut that big mouth of his. What a lot of nerve. If you're wondering about what I think I think it sucks big time and is callous and disrespectful toward you. That shrew of an ex needs to be put in her place also. Who cares if she went "nuts". She's nuts if she thinks she had any say about the two of you being married! Who the hell is she anyway? Tell her to butt out of your lives. Share a relationship with the ex? God no!! So put your foot down unless you're considering becoming another ex.
219294
You should be able to be friends. If both of your spouses really don't mind go for it. Just be sure that it doesn't go to far.
813123
Sometimes you have that connection and other times you do not. In my opinion that could be why you and your current husband may be having a bad connection because you are still in love with your ex, even though I do not know more of your situation. Been there done that. The heart wants what it wants and even though you and your ex are still not together the realtionship that you guys had togther will always be in your heart. That is until you decide to give your husband now that part of you heart, which it seems you are not willing to do right now. Hang in there everything happens for a reason. Good Luck.
509785
Its all up to you but if you trust him enough you should be able to accept him being friends with his ex
239131
This would probably be a problem for my hubby if we ever divorced because he is not only my husband he is my BEST friend.  We would have even more trouble trying to stop being best friends!  They do share a past together but it is very disrespectful that he does this to you.  Their conversation should be on the children NOT on what each other had for breakfast!  watch this closely because there r obviously feelings still left on both sides.  He will always hold a place for her in his heart-she is the mother of his children but I m with u- they r taking it way too far
1185950
I agree , when you get to know the person a bond forms between the two. Start out as friends, then work your way up the ladder till a relationship has form. Like she said, you put your trust in them and your heart as well. \nAlso your feelings are share with him/her thru the marriage. Even some partners rather go to their friends, before even telling their spouses. I share things with my husband, and there some things I rather keep to myself. As for women problems, well I go to my friends for that. \nMy poor hubby be sitting there, thinking how he could answer something like that. His mom said I could talk to her. But Then again, I rather talk to the ones I know the most. But my husband is always the one who comes first.
339002
My ex-husband and I have a daughter together and we have a great FRIEND relationship. When you have children you are commited to that child by a bond and the love you ONCE had. You will always have a realationship with that person if you love your children enough to look past the bad and work together for the better cause. I wouldnt worry unless he is having sleep overs!
535671
That all depends. How long has your ex-friend been your ex-friend--what caused them to be your ex-friend? How long has your ex-friend & ex-husband been ex's? If they have been ex's for a few months then go for it.\n\nThe reason for some of the questions that I have asked, is did they split up because of the ex husband and you being together or some other reason? If it was because of you 2, then it might be a bad ideal for you 2 to get together. If that is not the case, like I said give it a few months and then start off being even better friends than before, just work your way into it slow and easy and see what happens, if it was meant to be it will happen, if not it won't happen.
512889
depends on how good of a friend this person is to your ex. If they are best friends then that's breaking the unwritten rule and is pretty bad. If they're just casual friends, I don't think it would ruin the friendship.
502952
LOOK sweetie...married couples are gonna talk...period..you cant get mad at them for that...ask yourself would you get upset if your husband was talk ing to another women all the time??  friend or not i garauntee if its more than a simple hello then you wouldnt like it...as far as your friendship with the girl let her know that no harm was intended and you can still be friends I think...unless just sayinghi dont email him and mess...you might have been talking to him more than his wife was and that can make people uneasy...i would just be careful cuz truthfully he is not your friend he is your friends husband...i hope you can feel me...
1179974
He is a married man, and has no business being friends with other women, if the friend ship doesnt include his wife, she has every right to be upset about it, as she shouldnt have to share her husband with anyone else under any circumstance.  He sounds like a disrespectful jerk to put her through this kind of thing as its not normal in a marriage.... So listen to your "other" friends and back off, you are over steppin your bounds!
664700
Not at all wrong to have friends but cheating is wrong if that is what is happening.\n\nIt is a great day to be alive!!\nGood Luck and God Bless!!
914428
She's the ex,no matter what she says or wants he's with you now and that says it all,if you trust him this shouldn't be a problem. Don't let this break you up, you have made the effort to be friends with her too by asking to meet her so if I were you I would just let it drop. Good luck x