What you think,do I need to live with man,who is married,who can divorce, but don't do it,because it is easy?
140862
He won't get a divorce because it's easy. THAT'S the excuse he gave you???? HAHAHAHA! Now I've heard everything and I will think about this one when I need a good laugh. Be smart and dump the loser.
611817
I urged my friend not to move in with his girfriend, as they planned to get married, and they were only together for a year. I have been in this situation 3 times. It is not good for the relationship, and only a select few can handle this early living arrangement. He went ahead and moved in, because it was what she really wanted, and he has seemed depressed ever since. He can't focus when people are talking to him, and the money issues are putting a strain on their relationship. He came to me and told me that he wished he had listened, and that he was afraid that he would lose her soon. They had NEVER had a single fight, and now they fight frequently.\n\nIt does work, but I promise, if you wait until you're married, there will be a reason for you to stay together during the first and hardest year of living together. It is difficult and if you feel you would be able to handle it, and not get weird on your boyfriend, go for it.
174326
Well you have 2 choices as I see it...\n\nYou can try to be better in more ways than the other person your husband is seeing...\n\nOr you can move on to not allow him to hurt you any more...\nEither one is very hard and requires lots of work on your part...\n\nNo one ever said it would be easy...\nI have been there, so I know...\nI have been divorced twice and those were always my only options...
435333
Any man that just left his wife and 2 kids isn't in ANY place to be wanting it to last.  Even though you might, and he probably says pretty words, why would you WANT to stay with a man that is still married- therefore cheating on his wife with you?  Does SHE know he's already moved on?  It seems like he moved straight from her bed to your bed- why would YOU want that?  What about his kids?  Be the bigger person and wait until the divorce is final.  Divorce is messy enough without additional people thrown into the mix.  If it's true love he'll still be around then- and his kids will be able to respect you.  If not, you have your answer.
705529
Do it. Just make sure you take care of yourself. Start a little savings account in case things don't work out and you find yourself suddenly without a roommate. Do you really want to get to know your man's living habits AFTER you've signed a legally binding document?
805533
Its natural for you to feel this way and what will happen to you. And no he doesn't need your permission, same as if you had decided. Look hard cold facts here you were both not living a marriage you even said he's never home and during the day you didin't see him and  no intimate relationship this shouldn't have come as a shock to you. Humans have needs and wants I know your need is the kids and a roof over your head and money in the bank but he's more than a bank machine . He too needs something and he wasnt' getting it. Sorry to say but this marriage was over a long time ago.  You should now start thinking of your own happiness and future and let him find his happiness you only go around once. Why would you both want to stay in a loveless marriage it wouldn't be good for either of you. I know some women dont' need a lot of sex and as long as the man brings home the bacon there happy. But for the man he's not. So its time to move on and let him find his happiness just as you will . \n\nAnd what will happen to you . well you will become more independent go out and get a job and pull up your boot straps your starting a new chapter in your life. You can do this. Happens every day.\n\nSorry for your marriage but if people arn't happy why stay in a loveless marriage.\n\ngood luck
889395
I do not work and my husband does, but i am in control of the money.  you have to put your foot down and make him realize about the future.  MONEY IS THE #1 REASON FOR DIVORCE.  the more he spends the more you guys will fight.
633752
the best answer in the world His and Her needs my wife and it practically is all fun and games(uh that is a book)Oh you will change alot cause if you don't you'll be divorced in a year make sure you read that book with your soon to be in front of someone who could intervene and help and do it before you get married cause if can't get through the book you won't get through marriage it's all about compromise. His and Her Needs. Trust me.
815985
It totally depends on the situation. How long you have been together should weigh heavily on your decision. I would highly recommend not moving in if you are newly dating. Let the relationship advance first. \nAlso, have the 2 of you talked about what should or should not be expected of each other once you do move in together? Set some ground rules in advance and the transition will go much smoother.(bills, food, talk about how everything will be paid for.. split down the middle or are each of you going to cover different things each month?)  It is hard merging 2 people into one house. Each of you will have your own expectations and it will NOT be the way either of you think. \nNot all guys are just looking for someone to help with the bills or house. \nI moved in with my boyfriend on my 18th birthday, after we had been seeing each other for 5 years. We moved in together and never looked back. I am now 30 and we are happily married with 4 children. \n\nGood Luck!
955066
Actually there is more sense to the question as you continue to think about it.  Love and commitment are more important than 'law'.  So without love you are can still be legally married but maybe not in a 'marriage'.  If you are sufficiently unhappy then you probably shouldn't maintain the sham of a marriage.  Divorce isn't something to be taken lightly and all efforts should be made to preserve the marriage assuming you would like to preserve it.
409830
Not because I could live with him, but because I couldn't live without him.  There's some intangible thing that just makes us 'click'.  Peas and carrots, PB&J, Sonny & Cher (ok, bad example).  We're best friends with benefits.  My marriage has been the best and hardest thing I've ever done.  I have found happiness but it wasn't the cakewalk I thought it would be.  We lost the rose colored glasses in year three.  Being married includes birthdays and funerals.   And we've learned it's better to be happy than to be right all the time.
578693
I guess it depends on the stage of one's life.  I am having a hard time accepting that my husband wants to seperate and probably divorce and I think I need him more.  It is pretty obvious to me that he does not need me otherwise he would not be able to ask for this.
1013239
I understand. I don’t know what I’d do if I wasn’t married, but let me share some of the things I have learned in almost 20 years:\n\n1) Courtship is important. And long courtships are best. In our fast-paced world, especially as young adults, we are always rushing around. The best way to divorce-proof a marriage begins before you ever meet your mate-to-be, during the dating process. Serial dating, especially when it involves premarital sex, is a course in how to get divorced. We end up hooking up and then when things go sour we run away. Don’t get involved with someone who isn’t a friend. And date at least 2 – 3 years before getting married. That way you can get over the initial 18 month crush where everything about the other person is fascinating and the whole infatuated view of “The way you eat is so cute – it sounds like bells ringing,” to “If you clang your fork off of your teeth again I’m gojng to shove it through the back of your throat.” Not kidding – real conversation between my wife & I in the first year. I’m glad to say she never jammed the fork through my throat and I learned to use my lips as a cushion between my fork & teeth. \n\n2) Keep Christ at the center of your marriage. It seems obvious, but it is essential. Every time you notice that ring on your finger, pray for your spouse. It doesn't have to be long or even audible. Just a quick mental thanks to God for your mate, or a quick thought of, "God be with her/him." \n\n3) Love is NOT give and take. There is no take in love. Read 1 Cor. 13 (the love chapter). Love is giving. I give to my wife. She gives to me. If both are giving no one needs to take. Develop this mindset and remember that this is what marriage is meant for. Eph 5 takes a lot of heat for telling wives to submit to their husbands. But it also tells husbands to submit to their wives. Give + give = love. Give + take = selfishness = unhappy = divorce.\n\n4) Never use derogatory names for each other, even in fun. Husbands, if you call your wife "old lady" that is what you will see in her over time. I call my wife "my bride", especially when I am upset with her. That way I remember that wedding day, all those dreams, etc.\n\n5) When kids are involved it is easy to place them in front of your spouse. While time with kids is important & shouldn't be neglected, those kids will grow up & move out one day. Your mate will still be there and you'll need something else to talk about besides the kids. Make a habit of dating. Guys, even ask your wife out on a date. Arrange the babysitter. Often couples in church can provide a wonderful service for each other by trading Fridays (or whatever day is appropriate).\n\n6) Get to know and socialize with an older Christian couple or two who have a happy long-term marriage. Learn from how to treat each other from them. Remember that we all face similar adaptation issues when we are first married & they have worked those issues out. Talk with them about what they had to work out in either early married years and how they resolved things. This can be one of the biggest benefits you ever have, especially if you come from a divorced family or a family with strained relations.\n\n7) It may seem obvious but pray together. Have individual quite times, but have a shared quite time as well, at least once a week. And no matter how much you think it will hurt or bother your mate, talk. Holding it in doesn't make it go away - it only makes it fester until you explode all over each other. Talk and if agreement needs intervention, see your pastor or a Christian counselor.\n\nMarriage is very frightening - especially for those of us who came out of dysfunctional families. But the single biggest cause of dysfunction in my experience (and in my family) was selfishness. Give to each other & to the Lord, and you too can have a happy marriage. God bless you & best wishes!
481262
im trying to understand wht you are saying but i will answer this the best way i can i dont know why you cant live with the partner you choose to be with and i most certainly dont know if it is true or not so you probalbly need to ask this question again so we can better understand what you are asking or whatever
270487
no! you must learn to live with someone before you marry them. This way you will know EXACTLY what your getting yourself into yes?
1066852
NO!!!! If they get a divorce, do it then. Don't move in on another guys girl, even if she's only his on paper. U don't want to be the cause of a broken marriage, and u said the guy is ur friend too? don't do it to him. U never know, there might be a shread of love between those two somewhere in their hearts, and u don't want to mess with that. Couples can live separately and still raise their kids together, they'll be happier and so will the kids. So I don't think it's only that. Put urself in his shoes, would u want him to steal ur wife just because the marriage got rocky and stayed that way for a while? Don't make a mother leave her children's father just because u like her. It won't feel as good as u think it will, trust me...wait until they can't stand each other anymore despite the kids, and call it quits.
689014
Listen, don't be too stuck on frivolous things like that. It smacks of superstition, which is what your marriage does NOT need. What you SHOULD be asking is if you are both resilient, have a good sense of self, if you're better as a couple than as single people, if you've discussed finances (money is the number one issue on divorces) and if you're both morally on par. Get back to me when you're ready to answer those <wink>.