what should i do about my boyfriend's herion addiction?
145658
Speaking from experience, look into N.A. (Narcotics Anonymous) It's a lot like A.A. but geared more towards drugs instead of alcohol. As far as turning him into the police, DEFINITLY! If he gets away with it now, he's sure to do it again. The sad thing is even if he is punished, he'll always steal from you or anyone else until he gets help. It may be hard but it is true that no person or program will help unless HE hits bottom and makes a decision to change his life.
654458
You should seek more help than might be found here.  If things don't change it may become a serious issue between you and your boyfriend, and you're obviously concerned about it.\n\nSee a doctor, perhaps, or a therapist?
413731
This is a really sensitive issue.  Your boyfriend seems like he has real commitment issues.  The best thing to do would be to sit down and have a little chat.  Tell him you want to be in an exclusive relationship and nothing else will do.  After your chat, you should both sit on the couch and drink some heavy lager and eat a couple of bowls of bran each.  Then you will both find out what your a-holes are really for you couple of mincers.
797219
Fact:\n\nmen look at porn to escape from something they are running away from something they are not dealing with.  I am not suprised you feel unnattractive! - this is abusive behaviour and totally disrespectful to you.\n\nI don't think it has anything to do with the fact that he finds you either ugly or attractive. It is to do with him and the effect of what he is doing is making you feel like you are the one with the problem but you are not - he is the one with the problem and he needs to sort it out now.\n\nIt seems like he has a pretty serious addiction and is neglecting you in place of porn.  If he doesn't want to talk with you, then he will have to talk with someone about it if he wants to remain in a relationship with you.  This cannot go on and he is not accepting responsibility for his addiction and apologies aren't going to change this.\n\nI think you feel used and responsible for what I am pretty sure he has lured you into those things you now feel really guilty about. But  he is addicted to porn, has been even before you got together as an addiction doesn't start just because of what you two did together.  His behaviour has it's roots from an earlier time and has just grown over time.\n\nYou are not guilty for sharing what you thougt was some fun between you - that was seperate from any porn he engages in and doesn't make you responsible for what he has done and is still doing now.  The videoing will have nothing to do with what addicction he has, so please don't feel guilty for his problem.\n\nPorn is very destructive and any person who jusifies it in their answers have no real idea as to the damage it causes.  It is a real relationship killer and is abusive.  Give him the choice of either getting help for this problem or to pack your things and leave him to it.  He will continue to be like this the longer he chooses to be in denial about it.\n\nWhat you did with him wasn't wrong or bad and didn't cause the addiction he has. No amount of sexual adventer between two loving couples can create an addiction to porn - it already has to be there inside the person and he had this even before you got around to adventerous sex.  He made his own choices and you didn't help him just because you had some adventerous sex togther.\n\nHe crossed the line of love and intimacy with you in a way that is totally disrespectful to you.  What he did with you was a shared intimate thing but didn't give him permission to then jerk off with fictional women outside of the relationship he has with you.  This line has been crossed and he cannot allow his apologies to make up for what he is destroying with you.\n\nHe cannot love you nor respect you and so he has to change or be left to his addiction.  This is just awful and truly feel awful for you.  You do not deserve this and you are probabley better off ditching him however difficult this might be, it has to be done because he will continue to abuse you like this by not meeting your sexual or emotional needs - that is abuse.\n\nWhat you have done right is be committed to a serial porn addict and love him regardless and unconditionally and shared an intimate and loving relationship when it was one.  So how does this make you wrong in anyway? - You gave him all that a committed girlfriend could have done and more and he is the one doing the neglecting and abusing, so what is he doing wrong? - this is the question.\n\nHe is doing everything a dysfunctional person would and is abusing your trust and love for him, so he is the problem not you. He will be the one making you feel guilty for what he is doing, so now he either has to stop, ot you walk out on him.
503073
Yes.  But if it goes on too long and it affects his life and the family's, it's a problem you have to address.  Addictions come in various forms.  You need to keep conversation lines open.
954533
Yeah, that is truly an addiction.  But I am very happy to hear that you recognized it is a problem.  That is the first step in detox.  \n\nI suggest an inpatient detox program and going Narcotics Annoymous.  They may have suggests for a good detox program.  Doing it yourself at home can be pretty intense.
904059
This is quite typical.  Coke "givers" don't EVER have really true friends who use with them... despite quite emphatic claims to the contrary made by most of those "friends" he's supplying.   So I give you credit for admitting at least that to yourself.  But more hard honesty is needed I'm afraid.   Just because you manage to go a few weeks without using it, doesn't mean you're not addicted yourself.  If you find yourself thinking about it, and desiring it, and doing something you otherwise wouldn't in order to get it (i.e., going out with him) then you've got your own level of addiction brewing, and the sooner you admit that, the better off you'll be.  We're talking coke here, so... do I really need to point out that you're ultimately just trading sex for drugs?  Newsflash!  He doesn't love you either!  Coke is absolutely and unbelievably addictive, so don't be too quick to make him out to be the bad-guy.  He's the coke "giver" -- knowing he can't "catch" you without it -- that probably being the closest concept he has to actual "love".   But you are the USER -- and fully responsible for completing this little equation.   Getting out of an addictive relationship can be torture for ANYONE.  Adding cocaine to the picture, and thinking you can do it yourself is just plain naiive.  Use your wisdom, get some help, and completely CUT OUT OF YOUR LIFE ANYONE WHO USES COCAINE.  That's why cocaine is such a problem... because it's such a social "thing".   Ask any truly recovered addict, (if you can find one) and they'll tell you... All those people they thought were their friends??  They were nothing but users.
109386
There's no easy answer to this, since there are no (well know) support groups or studies on this newer subject.\n\nI would start by reading up on addictions of any sort - no, he's not addicted to drugs or alcohol, but the understanding of why a person gets addicted in the first place might help.  \n\nAn intervention might help, especially if he's living with you.  Also a psychologist that speciallizes in addicion.  It'll probably be a new one to them, if you can get your son to see them, but it should help.  \n\nTough love could help as well.  He can't play video games if he's living in a homeless shelter.  That's an awful thing for me to say, but it is true.\n\nThis is not an easy thing, and you have my sympathy - I've been in your position, and it's not pretty.
828254
I don't know about you sweetie, but an addiction is an addiction, and he is addicted.  Marriage is Respect, Admiration Passion and Trust.  For sure the first two are not there, since this is grinding on you.  And Passion is a bit tuff, if he oogles 13 year old girls on the computer,,, eeewwwwww.   You may trust him not to betray you by cheating, but hey, I trust my dog too. You don't have a marriage, you just don't know it yet.  You have a rommate..... Porn addiction is about the toughest thing of all to cure. ..... next question is why did you marry this jerk???? and in my eyes, any guy addicted to porn is a jerk.  How do you not find this disgusting????  And why are you still there????  In your place, I'd dump him and get out of this marriage.....You'll only grow to resent this crap as the years go on.... If you have children, you want this guy to be their father?????Sorry, sweetie, you asked
631359
How about re"boot"ing your computer..\n\nOr letting your computer crash by throwing it out the window...!\n\nJust kidding...\n\nI know it's an addiction that's taken over your life, and you have realised that, just need to actually do it!\n\nIt's all about will piower and taking the next step...\n\nswitch it off, and don't return to it.\n\ngive yourself an hour / half an hour per day... put a timer on, and say THAT'S IT once it goes off...\n\nthere are better things in life you should be enjoying!\n\nGOODLUCK Buddy!
795535
Check with your local mental health department or department of human services to see if there is a local rehab he can go to.  He needs help.  I work in a pharmacy and I see so many people come through that are addicted.  You see it first hand and I know it is not pretty.  Get him help.  He might be mad at first but he will say thank you in the end.  Good luck!
1031849
Games are actually addictive... (I found this out when I found out indoor tanning is addictive). It's not like a drug addiction but it affects your brain the same way. \nI would find a way to keep yourself busy. My boyfriend was the same way and he was smoking grass when he played. It came in hand in hand. Once he stopped smoking, he was able to wean himself off gaming a little too. You have to try to set a timer or something to get yourself off and find other things to do. Go for a walk or go to the mall or anything to get out of the house. It is good you registered for class... keep busy!
1041908
Sweetie, you can't get "addicted" to porn. You CAN become obsessed with it, though.\n\nRealize someone who can't resist living in a sexual fantasy world is VERY hard to please.\n\nTell him he should get rid of his porn or let you install a porn blocker on his computer. Tell him to decide what he wants- a fantasy or a real partner then stick by your word. Leave him if you find anymore evidence.
396391
you should not believe him. i am a recovering addict, and i don't believe in using occasionally. it doesn't work that way. before long your bills and every thing will be behind. it is an expensive habit. i don't want to tell you to just leave your husband because that will make it worse for him. when my husband found out i was using he did tell me that if i didn't stop he would leave me and take my daughter. him and some of my other family has got me into Church and i have given my life to the lord. pray about it, God leaves no prayer unanswered. but we have to remember he doesn't answer them right when we want he answers them when it is the right time. now im not telling you to stay with him if he continues to use either. really open your heart to God and pray and he will put the answer in your heart what you should do.good luck and GOD BLESS YOU!!! if you need anyone to talk to you can email me or IM ME. MY im name is tootsjrfan.
498831
Think seriously, note whether he care for you or not, there are some guys who are like this, they will slide where ever there is down slope!They flirt with addiction.\nBut that does not mean they are bad.\nIt's up to you, if you can adjust fine...because your strong actions will only suppress his habit, it will not be removed from his system...Patience is the key here!\nTry slowly and see whether he likes to spend time with you or not...it's very important!
925321
Honey, STOP. Read this, whatever you do. I know that a lot of people who ask questions over the internet don't take the advice they get seriously, but just hear me out, ok?\n\nObviously, when you met your boyfriend, you loved him for who he was then. I'm sure you thought he was a wonderful person. He was probably kind to you and respected you and when you first got together you thought nothing could go wrong. \n\nBut then he got into drugs. Ok, first of all, the alarm bells are flashing right there. If someone is willing to do something as life-wrecking as drugs, it is a serious possibility that they are also willing to engage in various other types of shady behavior, such as physical abuse, alchoholism, crime, etc. \n\nI  AM NOT SAYING THAT THIS GUY IS A BAD PERSON! He was probably a great guy before the drugs came along. But when a person does drugs, they change a LOT. Drugs make people do things they would never normally do. This is why people use them, and this is what makes them so dangerous. \n\nAnd I don't mean to sound accusatory, but it's possible that what you think is love might be the remnants of what USED to be love, but now is just a memory.  \n\nGirl, for your own sake I suggest that you get out of this relationship, and FAST. Frankly I'm amazed that so far you've been strong enough to stay off of drugs yourself, and I admire that. It is NOT your fault that he does drugs and it is NOT your responsibility to get him off of them. I understand that you will feel guilty about leaving someone in need, but remember that your guy is still a minor and his parents are still responsible for him, NOT YOU. This is very hard for someone as young as you to do. The best thing you can do right now is to tell a trusted adult that he is doing drugs. If he gets the right help, maybe he can get clean and then you can continue the relationship. If he really and truly loved you at all then he wouldn't have gotten into drugs in the first place because that would mean risking YOU and when you love someone you can't afford to take those kinds of risks. And if you really loved him then you'd do what is best for him, which is tell someone QUICKLY and get him into rehab.\n\nI am sorry if I sounded mean or pushy. I really wanted to help. And I feel really bad for you. But trust me, I know quite a bit about these things. You are precious and deserve to be treated with care and respect. No druggie, however good of a person they are, can give you the star treatment that you deserve.\n\nRemember that above all god loves you very much, more than any man ever could and there is someone amazing out there that God has in store just for you. He wants you to be happy and if you ask he will give you the guidance that you seek. You have done nothing purposefully wrong. God knows that in our naievity (ignorance) humans often make mistakes. It's ok, he will forget the whole situation if you truly are sorry and wish it had never happened.\n\nI also suggest seeing a therapist. They are not for "loonies". I would know, since I go to one ever week. She's really nice and also, SHE WON'T TELL YOUR PARENTS ABOUT ANYTHING YOU GUYS TALK ABOUT (IT'S AGAINST THE LAW). Unless it has something to do with someone being in danger.\n\nI am praying for you tonight, and I promise to send you a smile tommorow morning. If you live outside of the united states then my morning might not be your morning, but I think you'll feel it anyway. Just know that someone is on your side. I sincerely hope this gets cleared up. \n\nGod Bless :)
284893
FIrst of all I am surprised you are still in the dark, he is sneaking, but with what.  Find out.  Do not accuse, find out.  cell phone records, a radio shack recorder (practice using it) and get the truth.  Track the computer with a spy program.  Do that for a eek, you will know what you are facing.  IF it is an addiction maybe he can get help.  It is up to you to seek the truth so you are in the know.  Right now you do not know what you are dealing with.  CHeating keeps you off the subject...the subjest is you are in the dark, it is unsafe to be in the dark, get the lights on.