how do i deal with the babymama drama from my boyfriend?????
153732
First off, you need to ascertain what is the root of the babymama drama and is it actually drama or just normal interaction?  If it isn't real drama, then you don't have to 'deal' with it, you just have to learn to quit worrying about it. \n\nIf it is in fact drama, then what is the cause of the drama? Is the mother making unrealistic or unfair demands of your boyfriend? Is she rude and impolite to you? Maybe she is just outright nasty? If she is just impolite, then shame on her, but you are dating and true or not, in her mind sleeping with a man she once had feelings for. You will just have to learn do cope with her OR you have to get out of the situation. Those are the ONLY two viable solution.  Being mean back will only make things worse. Remember, using kindness to cancels out negativity usually works...eventually.  Using negativity to stop negativity NEVER works. \n\nIf the babies mother is making unrealistic or unfair demands on your boyfriend. Does she get upset if she calls unexpectedly at 6:00 PM on Friday asking him to come take the child because she wants to go out and then gets angry because he refuses? Does she get mad because he won’t give her more money then the state requires him to? If she is one of these woman, then again, you have two choice... learn to live with it or leave your boyfriend.  If you are going to stick by his side, then you may want to keep a note book of all the unreasonable things she asks. Every time she causes drama, I would right down the date and time as well as a brief description of what transpired. This way, if she gets crazy and decides to go to court over something, you have a full record of EVERYTHING. \n\nNow the tough question... Is it your boyfriends fault that this is going on?  Does he pay his child support? Does he pay it on time? Does he show up for visitation when he is suppose to or is he always late? Does he take care of the  Child properly or when he drops the child off with the mother is the Childs cloths always filthy, hair a mess or diaper in need of changing? If you think the babymama drama is at least partially his fault, then keep in mind that what you see him doing now COULD be what you will be experiencing in the future.  Remember, abstinence is the only 100% way to be certain you will not get pregnant. Even if you use the pill and a condom combined there is always a slim chance you could still get pregnant and then you could be the next round of babymama drama. \n\nJust keep in mind a few simple points:\n1- The way he treats his current child is a glimpse of how he could treat your child is the relationship develops further. \n2- How he treats his ex could be how he treats you when the relationship gets old or is over.\n3- Not all woman are ideal mothers. So don't assume that just because the babies mother complains all the time that it is your boyfriends fault.\n4- <IMPORTANT> No matter what the mother or father do, it is NOT the child's fault. \n5- <VERY IMPORTANT> When you enter into a relationship with someone who has children, you are in essence agreeing to deal with the complications of that situation. If things get tough, you ultimately have three choice. 1) Get out! Leave the relationship and don’t look back. 2) Ignore the problems and pretend as if they do not exist. Who knows, they may go away. (I wouldn’t count on it though) 3) Stand beside the person you care about and help as best as you can.  (Just make certain that he is in the right.)  What you do is your choice. \n6- No one is responsible for your actions but you. If the babies mother annoys you, it's because you allow her to get to you. If she makes you mad and you say something hurtful, isn't not that "She made you." It that YOU CHOSE to. If you stay with you boyfriend, it's because YOU chose to be with him. If you leave him, it's not because of the mother of his child, it's because YOU CHOSE not take the drama any longer.
1099272
Tell him your sick of his annoying antics and he needs to get a life.  Tell your bf that you dont want him hanging around you anymore and if he loves you he should respect that. =)
345516
you need to leave him love. sorry but i was in the same position as you, but i was the ex. he went away and i knew what he was doin cause he admitted to me he had a baby with someone else, and i had dumped him. however, he kept coming round me BEGGING me to return to him. so you need to be careful bout what he is telling you and what he is telling her. you are worth more than that. dont put up with the insecurities you have over him. he will only make them worse. an in my opinion the last time my mum was wrong about something, was wen i hadnt told her the whold truth. your mum obviously dont like him, and she wants the best for you, even if it dont seem like it sometimes she does. trust. go and bond withyour baby. have a nice summer with no man pisin you off. okay. gudluck.
294769
If you plan on being a major part of this man's life than you will also be a part of his child's life.. His ex has to deal with the fact that they are not together. You shouild meet her because she has every right to know who he has around her child and who is a part of her child's life. But when you do meet her don't be disrespectful and try to understand where she is coming from. Tell her that you are not trying to take her place. Don't upset yourself(most important) and you really don't want to do anything that would jeoparadize you boyfriend's relationship with his child. "Baby Momma" relationships are hard to deal with because they have a child, they have a bond. If you really feel for him then try your best but his chils should always come first. Good Luck and sorry for wrapping you up!
888772
Be mature and adult about it. Confront her again and tell her that u don't appreciate the made up drama and that u don't need that in your life and ignore her until you have to deal with her-then just do what you gotta do with her and roll on. I wouldn't even hold much of a convo with her unless if I had 2.
1130937
ok, hang on for a second. think to yourself,"Why am i doing this? Is it because i am concerned? Or am i nosey?" Is your daughter's boyfriend reliable? Because if he is then if the situation is not broken, dont try to fix it.
1132210
talk to you boyfriend, tell him how you feel about his fam not wanting to talk to you, and maybe he'll talk to them so that they may lighten up. I went trough the same thing. I still don't really like his fam, but I'm over it now.  Don't let them know it bothers you! don't give them that satisfaction.
517908
He will not change.  He will not save you.  He will keep treating you like dirt.  You have a baby to worry about.  You can't depend on him.  Obviously.  He can get mad as much as he wants.  You need to start thinking about how to take responsibility for the baby.  Stop worrying about him.
951483
get out as soon as you can. HE WILL NOT CHANGE., even if he says he will. i know nobodys advice will chnage what your mid is set on, but if you plan on staying in this relationship, it is your fear of him talking, not your love. get away from him and stick to your story about the slap. anything to stay away from him...
999840
you are stuck in a really seriose situation, what ever you do make sure you dont do abortion, because then you would just kill your own baby!!!!my advise is to tell your boyfriend the trueth, he is not going to like it but the sooner you tell him the easier it will be, if you wait you are going deeper into the forest and chooping down more wood. that means that you are making more problems for yourself.
550220
No it wasn't your fault. I didn't see how you could think that! It was his fault that he didn't act like he cared about you! You did the right thing! \nGood Luck with your baby and your new relationship!
651405
This sounds to me like my situation a few years ago, phantom pregnancies, if at all posible ignore this person's remarks lies and rot she is a very unhappy person and trying to drag up b/s for you to get upset and angry about ignore it [it will not go away]but still ignore it or speak to her as you are speaking to a child and tell her to grow up
695042
it's good you know that these thhings are now too much to take. DOn't tolerate each thng that he does. If you think you're being violated at this, yu shouldn't give much time for him. You'd rather have a breakup if he can't get better after explanations. After all, he is proving how immature he is with all that he does...
1043070
this can get ugly real fast. 1st, if you trust your boyfriend,  it shouldn't be a problem with lettin' him go and see his son. u will have 2 understand that his "babymama" will always have a part in his life because of the child they share. that does not mean he can continue to sleep with her of course, but some men feel they got it like that. also depends on what kinda chic his babymama is. is she an immature childish, person who's bitter that she's not with him anymore? (not sure why she would make it a point n tellin' u that she's still sleepin' with him unless she's intentionally tryin' to piss you off) what kind of person would keep sleepin' with their x knowin' he's going home 2 someone else? Please do NOT try and tell your boyfriend under what circumstances he can see his son. cuz his son should come b4 both u and that babymama. u have 2 b the bigger woman in this one.
381031
Honey, move on.  this guy is a gutless turd if mommie is telling him who to date and he's denying your relationship.
21004
speak up, the mother of the child still wants that control she thinks it is her kid and shell do want she wants. there will be lots of problems but always smile to the mom and but you must put your foot down and not let her control you and him. yes they have a child together and that is it. trust me i deal with it all the time. it is not the childs fault though. but you do need to speak up not bossy just say we want the things to stay here for when she is here. and dont invite her over. your going to have to let her go from your lives and let her have her own with the child her and your boyfriend are over and it sounds like she is just trying to hold on to something?...  good luck
799614
If you don't want the drama go to your nearest family court and fill out papers to have child support court issued so he has to pay a certain amount a month or he'll get in trouble. If he doesn't have a job they will make him get a job. Your ex is an immature momma's boy and doesn't comprehend his 3 children have needs. As for yourself instead of your young family suffering go to the state for help food stamps,wic,and alittle cash each month can certainly help out until you can get the kids some child care and yourself a job.Don't rely on a man ( your not dealing with 1 anyway) you need to step up and take control of your situation. I am a single mother of 2 I know its hard as hell but as long as you keep trying to do what is best once you have the kids in daycare and your working you will feel so much better because your doing your part as best you can. Don't wait on him and his mom to help out do it yourself so you can say you did it. When the kids get older they will see who has been there for them fighting for the things they want and working her butt off for them. Tell them both to stick the $30 a week for food up their u know whats you'll see them in court and the courts will issue him to pay atleast $50 a week.Apologize for what? asking her son act like a man?It's just wrong for him to tell mommy what going on between you two it shows that he's not a man and can't handle things with out getting mommy involved.Mom should just stay out of it in the first place and tell her son he made the bed now he's gotta sleep in it or if he was a big boy when he laid down and had 3 babies he can be man enough to make his own decisions without involving his mommy like he's tattle tailing.I feel bad that your gonna have to deal with that boy for the rest of your life and his mommy cause she has already overstepped her bounds cause her son is a momma's boy you will be dealing with her for the rest of her life being in your business. Good Luck !!