break up therapy........?
147951
Go check out the buffet darlin!.. take a sea cruise to mexico, meet a bull fighter, learn some spanish..live out on the edge for a year or two. You will come back stronger and wiser..Yea it hurts like hell now, but eventually.. you will love again, better than ever, sweet as ever!
650925
Hi there again. Was thinking about writing direct but didn't want to bother you again.\nI had a break up last June after a 7+ yera relationship/engagement and it took a little (underexagerating) time to get through.\nThe fact that he didn't seem to be bothered by it at all made me even more upset. I couldn't figure out how he could just walk out and that be it. No contact, no explanation of why, no nothing. People need some kind of closure to move along the healing process and I didn't have that.\nWhen I finally started thinking a little more clearly (took about a couple months), I started to realize the reason he was able to walk away as cut and dry as he did. It was because he had already been done long before he'd walked out.\nI started being able to put myself on the outside, looking in instead of the inside, looking in (hope you understand that). Then I started allowing myself to realize all the things that weren't so great and hadn't been so great for a while.\nI went from a deep sadness and loss to realizing I was worth more than how I was treated by him, either directly or indirectly.\nToday I am glad he left and didn't ever try to contact me AND I'm also glad he left.\nMy belief (and I've seen it proved many times over) is the karma people like that earn will pay them back tenfold for what they uncaringly do to people.\nOnly you will be able to put this to rest within yourself and only in the time that is right for you.\nI wish you all the best in the world. And try to remember you are worth more than the sum of one cheating man.\nAlso, sorry this is so long.
223399
Do it at your own pace, there's no time limit on how long it will take, but one day you will suddenly realise that you hadn't thought about him/her at all. Splitting up can cause all sorts of stress - maybe you've had to move, change job, or have children together, or perhaps it was a nasty split or there was another person involved. Apparently, it can take half the length of the relationship to get over it - so in your case, you could allow a couple of years. Although I thought I was over my ex, who I was with for 5 years, it was definately a couple of years later that I realised he wasn't in the back of my mind any more. Good friends, time, and trying to be determined that it is not going to get you down will help. Perhaps there's an up-side to being single - you can try new things that you would't have done with your ex. If the situation is making you feel depressed or ill, you could try talking to a counsellor. Good luck.
308556
divorce and break up!!
591838
time to move on pal...talk to her first. because talk is cheap. explain your feelings and make it clear why you want to move on and follow through on it. then you will see if she values your relationship or not. if she breaks down and tells you not to break it off, make an agreement for her to get some type of therapy or professional counseling b4 trying again...good luck
711398
Hell no!!!!! Leave him alone!\n\nIt will be tough for a while at first, but you will get over him maybe. If he placed the relationship on suspension, then cease all communications with him.
583446
NO NOT THERAPY. JUST SIT DOWN AND TALK ABOUT IT SERIOUSLY. IF HE NOT WILLING TO LISTEN AND DO BETTER. THEN MOVE ON. BUT THERE WAS SOMETHING BETWEEN YOU BOTH IN THE BEINGING SO TRY TO KEEP IT. MY HUSBAND DID SAME THING. ALL WONDERFUL BEFORE WE GOT MARRIED THEN ITS LIKE HE JUST QUIT. WELL I HAD ENOUGH SO I THOUGHT ID SPARK IT UP A BIT. I GOT TO WHERE WHEN I GET OUTTA TANNING BED OR SUCH THAT I SEND HIM A NAKED PICTURE OF ME. JUST TO FLIP HIM OUT. AND DAM GIRL IT WORKED. IT GOT TO WHERE HE WAS GLAD TO SEE ME IN AFTERNOONS. OF COURSE WE TALKED ABOUT EVERYTHING AND  I JUST LAYED IT ON THE LINE. BUT SINCE THEN HE HAS BEEN GREAT. WE LAUGH AND TALK MORE INSTEAD OF LETTING EVERYDAY STUFF DRAG US DOWN. KEEP TRYING BABY, IT WILL ALL SHAKE OUT GREAT. I PROMISE.
105727
find someone else. don't be affraid to break it up.
131650
What is there to break up?
1187406
well give some detail like how is he no good? At least you figured it out in a quick amount of time you didn't waste years I would just tell him that you don't want to be with him anymore it's that's simple, you don't deserve to be treated badly... drop the jerk and find someone that will treat you right.
521807
Hi hun, I am sorry you are struggling through this. Breaking off a close relationship is difficult and especially if the relationship is an intimate one. However, you feel that you need to do this so regardless if you get back together or not then you need to reconcile why you are feeling this way.\n\nRight now, take a moment.. an hour... a day... and get away from the phone, the TV, and the computer. Get outside or go somewhere it is peaceful and relaxing. Go to a bookstore go somewhere where you can take a look at yourself.\n\nAsk yourself: Why are you in a relationship if you don't know what you want out of a relationship or life? If you don't know what to do with this relationship how can you ever know what to do in any other relationship? Who are you? What do you want out of life? What are your dreams, your goals, your beliefs? Does this person want the same things? Until you can honestly answer these questions you will never no how to set boundaries and you'll cling onto a relationship just becasue someone makes you feel good. Then, one day you will wake up and realize that you made a big mistake. You'll wake up and realize that you helped someone else live thier life but you lost your identity. Don't do that to yourself.\n\nStart taking care of yourself by doing a self inventory as I mentioned above. At the same time, think about your past relationships and your family relationships and get to know who you are and see if you can identify codependancy and healthy relationships. Look at your relationship models and see what you've learned.\n\nRemember to take care of yourself by eating right, getting plenty of sleep, exercising, and to take care of yourself spiritually and emotionally. This is so very important. Talk and enjoy yourself with healthy friends. Go to a healthy church if you're into that.\n\nWhatever you do, don't let his pleadings and charm get in the way of you taking care of yourself. Until you find out who you are and what you want out of life you'll have difficult times with your relationships. Oh, by the way, please stay out of another relationsip for quite a few months until you work on yourself.\n\nI suspect you are a beautiful and wonderful person inside. So, treat yourself right. It is not selfish to discover yourself. Your future husband and a healthy family comes from an honest inventory.\n\nBlessings
679050
So sorry that you are going through this. I can relate 100%.\nThe pain and depression from a break up can take over your life if you let it.. It did me for a while and I still have my moments. (I was w/ my now ex for 19 yrs.)It has been 9 months since my break up...\n(he also walked out on his 2 daughters)..\nDrugs and alcohol can consume a persons morals and soul...\n\nHere are some things that helped me and some I still continue to do:\n\nWrite a letter to her, but don't mail it, this is for you to express your feelings...burn it after reading this letter.. write and burn as often as you wish.. it does help.. this helps me to let go..\n\nKeep a daily journal of how you feel each day. \nJot down a POSITIVE word to describe yourself (loving, caring, compassionate, outgoing, and so on.).\n\nTake a long brisk walk, go for a swim, go to the gym... do something just for your self, something that you like and brings a smile...\n\nMake a  pro/con list of the relationship you had with her.\ndon't nit pick or sugar coat this list...be HONEST....\nThen make a list of the things you want to find in a woman(NOT HER)..don't over load this list, no one it perfect..\nI had to redo my list a few times....\n\nGo out with your freinds or family, DO NOT ISOLATE YOURSELF from others or life.... it only makes life harder for you!!!\n\nRemember and remind yourself that she chose her life and you can not change her.(I tried to change my ex and waited for him to grow up and change his life for 19 yrs., I lost out on a lot more then just losing him)...\n\nRemind your self that YOU are a GOOD person and you have control of your life, you can't change the past BUT you can change your future and make it happy if you choose.\nYou have control of you!!!\n\nAgain I'm sorry you are hurting so deeply. \nIn time you will feel better and begin to start your life over.. look to make friends with other women first..\nDo NOT rush into a new relationship just to be with some one and not be alone... THIS WILL NOT HELP YOU...\n\nIf you want to chat, email me, I'll be your chat pal.\n\nI hope this helps..
285378
Explain to her why you want to break up, of course she may be hurt but she will get over in time. Life is full of disappointments.
366301
I don't know of anybody who didn't feel horrible after breaking up. A bond between two human beings is a valuable, special, particularly fragile link. Why not remember the good times you both had? Here's something else to keep in mind: there was probably a reason you both broke up. Was it something you needed to do? There may be a valid reason. And above all: these things take time. You can't expect to jump out of bed the next morning singing and dancing, but it's also equally unhealthy to obsess all the time your ex-boyfriend and your ended relationship. "If the problem persists, it may be necessary to seek professional help," we hear that all the time, but if the problem lasts longer than you think it should, it's probably a good idea to talk to a psychiatrist. ( A female psychiatrist would more likely have experienced what you're going through.)To occupy your time, you could go out with your friends, donate time to a charity, express your feelings through art or writing... however, and I am not trying to disrespect your feelings by any means, you seem a bit young to be dating. Enjoy life.  You'll have the rest of your life to worry about men and boyfriends. You're young, so why not not spend valuable time, instead of thinking of boys, learn to better yourself? Learn to speak German; learn Karate. You'll empower yourself and your self-esteem will rise. I personally wish you the best of luck.
16076
First, figure out what happened to break you up in the first place. If either of you are willing to forgive each other, which takes time, depending on the problem. Sit down and write out everything that happened and really read it. Sometimes that helps. Good luck. Linda
182130
If you are breaking up with them because you are absolutely, positively, 100% sure that there is no way to work things out then...you are exiting a bad situation and that is a good thing.  It's not a fun thing and it hurts like hell but if it's the right thing to do then unfortunately you just have to do it.  Then you just have to pick up the pieces and move forward.  They forgot to give some of us the manuals on Life is not going to be perfect.
772227
The guy is a control freak. I have been in similar situations myself. good for you for trying to break free get councelling but please realise it may take years to undo all the psychological damage he has caused you.\n\nYou can only truly break free with professional councelling so please do that for me because i know what it's like.\n\nGood luck, you deserve happiness. :-)