why won't my 11 yr old daughter listen?
151830
Well, have you spoiled her in her earlier years? Not anything bad about your parenting or something like that, they are adorable and sometimes you can't help but give them everything, lol. My friend did this and when he started asking for help around the house, his daughter felt she didn't have to do it because she never had to before. It went on with a month and he had to talk with her about it every few days. She finally got annoyed and started helping out though, lol. Then again, 11 is near teenager...and we all fear the teenage daughter...and/or the teenage daughter's boyfriend.
916134
There are different computer programs.  Some capture every keystroke and will print out a log of all communications.  I agree that you need to communicate with your daughter.  I wouldn't say you are a horrible person, or a bad parent, but talking might help the situation.  I understand that there are some kids, that are so stubborn and head strong that they must make mistakes before they will listen.  Those mistakes can potentially be fatal.  Talking is the first step, but if that doesn't get through and you are genuinely worried about what she is doing and feel she is putting herself in danger, it seems like the responsible thing to do is first put the computer in an open space like a living room, and if that doesn't work, look into the programs.
773176
HORRIBLE!  Keep speaking up! Tell everyone who will listen...and even those who won't!  Don't worry about what they say about you. You are the one protecting your daughter and you have to do what you have to do for her sake.  Don't let your daughter be unsupervised, anywhere.  Make it a rule. You're the mother, you can do that.  You said she is 3, I don't know how well her vocabulary is developed to express her emotional upset.  I would say, continue her counseling!  If you can't afford private counseling, or you don't have insurance that will cover it, there are agencies that have clinics, free.  You might have to make a lot of phone calls, but they are out there.  \nBest of luck to you!  Keep trying!!!
774532
As a mother, I certainly think you're on the right track with all the efforts you've been making. Does she have a lot of adults in her life? It may sound strange, but kids expect their mothers to like and accept them, but an adult friend of the family or another adult role model may be able to give her praise and encouragement if she helps him/her with something (gardening, for instance). Once she realizes that not all "strangers" are going to criticize or bully her, she may begin to open up and have more confidence. Poor thing. I hope this is resolved soon. She's at a critical age where not only is she surrounded by peers who are judging her, but she is probably very hard on herself, as well. Good luck to you.
204971
My youngest child is 11. She has severe separation anxiety. She has gradually gotten better, but is still not at the point in which she will spend the night with friends or anything like that. Her father and I divorced 3 years ago, and that caused a MAJOR set-back for her to the point where she will only spend the night with him occasionally. She just wants to be at home. This actually is a medical/mental condition with no easy resolution. All I can tell you is that it takes time and more time. Try to keep your child involved in peer activities because that always helps. The more you can get your child to be independent instead of dependent on you, the better he/she will be. Join play groups or things like that; that are age appropriate. It is not easy for a parent with a child like this, but I promise it will get better. We will survive, with God's help. Take care and good luck.
558777
You have been probably too lenient and do not always do what you say you will do to punish her when she is naughty.  That is my guess...At 11, children are beginning to test more and more boundaries with adults.  As her mother, if you are weak, she will learn that quickly and use it to HER advantage.  If you keep letting her be that way, she will continue to get worse.  Basically, she has no respect for you, more than likely.  You have to be make her REALIZE that YOU have the AUTHORITY...the upper hand.  She's a child, she does NOT know more than you, but if you keep letting her think so, she will keep walking all over you.  Before long, you will have NO control and MORE problems.  \nI suggest speaking to a therapist or counselor.  You can get counseling anywhere for free if you can not pay.  Ask you local  social services dept, a school representative, your doctor, someone at a church, the phone book has blue colored pages called "The Blue Pages" or "Government Pages" where you will find this kind of information.  Any one of these places, in your city or town or village, or county, can get you the help you need.\nGood luck...bad kids are not born, they are made.
485878
PLEASE I AM BEGGING U DO NOT GO STRAIGHT TO THE DOCTOR LIKE THAT LAST ANSWER SUGGESTED AND PUMP UR DAUGHTER FULL OF MEDS BECAUSE THAT MAY NOT BE THE ANSWER AND GIVING HER MEDS THAT SHE DOESN'T NEED CAN MAKE HER WORSE\nLETS FACE IT SHE IS 8 YEARS OLD. SHE WONT CONCENTRATE AS MUCH AS U WANT HER TO IN SCHOOL MOM, AFTER ALL SHE IS STILL A KID. I HAVE AN 8 YR OLD LIL BOY AND HIS TEACHER AND I HAVE TO WORK TOGETHER TO GET HIM TO PAY ATTENTION, HE LIKES TO TALK IN CLASS AND GOOF OFF SOMETIMES, THE TEACHER AND I FELT IT BEST TO MOVE HIS DESK AWAY FROM HIS DISTRACTIONS UNTIL HE EARNS THE RIGHT TO BE BACK IN HIS NORMAL SPOT PLUS AT HOME I TALK TO HIM EVERY DAY ABOUT HOW IMPORTANT IT IS FOR HIM TO PAY ATTENTION AND TO DO HIS BEST IN SCHOOL I ALWAYS TRY TO WORK OUT AN AWARD SYSTEM IF HE BRINGS HOME A GOOD NOTE FROM HIS TEACHER AND SAY 4 OUT OF 5 DAYS HE HAS GOOD NOTES THAN I GIVE HIM AN AWARD LIKE GOING TO THE PARK A SMALL TOY FROM WAL-MART. IT DOESN'T HAVE TO MONETARY BUT SOMETHING THAT SHE WILL APPRECIATE AND CHOOSES TO DO WITH IN REASON
99954
As a Mother of 4 children fron ages 25 to 9 yrs old, & with out knowing how old you are. I would suggest the older mature road. I know my self, that if my 17 yr comes to me with a "I'm right & i will be heard additude" I shut down. When they come to me calmly & mostly talk about incommon stuff. See what type of mood shes in, then if the time is right, Just planly say " Mom I realy would like to talk to you & would like you to hear what i am saying. 95% that  will open a line between you too where she will be able to hear you. I can not say that you will get what you want, But If not for any other other reason you have showed her that you are able to communacate with her on a more mature level.. Trust me that will help you down the road.. I hope i have given you a little help..
1002565
Try talking to her and hang out sometimes! Go to the theatres, shop, whatever! And remember to dig into her side of the story. Try adapting to her "styles" as in speech and dress. When you shop for clothes, don't go looking for old fashioned stuff (if you do, that is) but go to where she always go. Give her space, as well. If she refuses to tell you something, don't nag her. Just wait and treat her kindly, ignore the fact she's lying.... get comfortable with her. If she doesn't mind, try to garden and do some of the hobbies you like to do. Remember, teen age goes away after awhile. Good luck!
283636
dont worry about and give her sometime to cool down and then try and talk to her again maybe a couple of weeks.The smartest thing you could do whatever she says or does just be nice to her and that will kill her.  But just dont get into mind games because bottom line at that age she will be a heck of alot better than you.
1060723
i would ask her doctor about it i have a 12 year old son & he doesnt act that way but it may be a normal thing for a girl her age...how ever if things dont change i would think about maybe family counceling before things get out of hand..i think too many people these days dont really pay attention to their children untill its too late if she has a problem i think u may have found it in time to help her ...i can tell u are a good parent who loves and cares for your child so u just do what u think  is best & im sure things will turn out just fine
1032329
She is not spoiled.  My daughter is the same way. Yes, I have given her alot more attention than most people give their kids, but I almost miscarried her, so she is my miracle baby! Usually what causes them to be so grouchy and cranky all the time is due to boredom.  \n\nMy daughter is above average in intelligence and when she gets bored, that is when I see an increase in her crankiness.  So I try to change things up and do something new, whether its go for a walk, do an art project, play a new game, etc. \n\nTry that...you should see an improvement.  Good luck!
990169
Maybe she should look into getting a voice coach. That could help and then just keep encouraging her to pursue it if it's what she wants to do.
529775
Hi Vashes,\n\nChildren of quite a young age cannot be dealt with force. \nYour daughter needs to start giving respect to her school and studies. This kind of discipline does not sprout all of a sudden. Your child will generally follow your example. Maintain a disciplined decorum in your home. Things like "get up at 6", " Fold your bedspread", "Brush your teeth", "Place your brush in the stand", "eat at the dining table", "study at your study table", etc should be slowly inculcated in her. You should give her own private space where she can maintain her things and also study. This kind of ambience would influence the kid and would help her respect her school and studies. Link her performance with rewards like " a trip to the amusement park", "holiday in a farm", etc. Its a slow process and instead of commanding her to do all these things, estabilish it to her that its her responsibilty to take care of these things.\n\nRegards\nVj
1021770
How old is she? Its kind of hard to reason logically with younger kids...but pretty easy to give a persusive emotional rather than logical arguement. Have her watch some movies...if she is old enough....like "Family Stone", "Boys Don't Cry", and "Bound" to show her that generalizations just don't work.  Show her some of the newpaper articles pointing out that hatred like hers can lead to violence. Impress upon her that her prejudices border on racism...and that is intolerable in today's world.\n\nUsually prejudice and racism come from ignorance. The more knowledge and personal experience someone has with a subject matter, the less a person tends to make sweeping generalizations about that subject matter.
309888
no they do not ALL listen but even if you reach out and get it through to 2 ...3...10 kids isn't that better than not ever trying and not getting it through to any??? It does save lifes for those who listen every bit helps...........
598475
There r many things that it could be. Try sitting her down and talking 2 her. They tend not 2 listen if u don't sit them down. Try not 2 yell and be direct. Good luck