Getting a divorce Her life is SO much better now she says We have a son She is so much meaner to me NOW. Why?
148371
You may have hurt her feelings (intentionly or not)durring the marriage and she is taking it out on you now/ getting back at you for no attention etc.
758438
I understand you have a connection with her kids, but sorry guy your wasting your time.  She keeps coming back to you even though she walks all over you...she knows you will be there and relies on you to be there.  You need to put your foot down and tell her you are not her doormat_
906406
Unfortunately we can't control family....not the ones we are born into and certainly not the ones we marry into and with that said as long as you are making every effort to have a peaceful existance the rest is on her.  Mothers love their sons and do some strange things in the name of that love.  Despite her reasons if you and that boy are happy forget about her.  I am curious to know how he responds to her disrespecting you and your child?
112264
TO FIGHT FOR CUSTODY IS HARD THE JUDGE ALWAYS SIDES WITH THE MOTHER UNLESS U HAVE PROBABLE CAUSE.  THE WAY IT SOUNDS  THE MORE TIME U SPEND WITH THE KIDS THE MORE TIME IT GIVES HER TO SPEND WITH HER NEW MAN  I DONT THINK SHELL DENY U THE KIDS  SHE GONNA LIKE THE FREE TIME TOO MUCH   RIDE IT OUT C HOW IT GOES JUST ALWAYS B THERE LIKE U HAVE  N WHEN HE MOVES IN WITH HER WELL THE KIDS R BIG ENOUGH TO TELL U SOMETHING IS WRONG THATS WHEN U STEP UP    HOPE ALL IS WELL
1038031
you created your daughter so why would you compete with her....the mom seems insecure to me.......she needs help maybe she feels that she is losing her touch....
178582
It means that your husband is losing respect for you.  It may also mean that he is trying to gain some sort of control over you by crushing your self-esteem.\n\nIf talking to your husband isn't an option, then you may need to think about hiring a divorce attorney.  \n\nWhen you say you are still with him because of your 1 year old son, consider this...   It isn't doing your son any good to hear his father call his mother stupid.  (1) Your son might believe it.  (2) Your son will start to lose respect for you or your husband or both.  (3) Your son may believe it is okay to call others stupid.  If you are trying to protect your son, the best solution might be for you to leave that environment. \n\nAlso, if your arguments are starting to escalate, your husband may do worse things to you in the future than calling you stupid.\n\nI wish you the best of luck!
421609
I'm with you in the same boat, maybe worse!  My ex's bimbo is set to the fact that their was NO life before her and HER kids - my ex and I had a son, who is now 8, and she won't allow him into THEIR house, and he allows her to treat him like that.  They do things with HER kids, and neglect our son.  She's a B**** in CAPS
752903
I think that your communication is weak. She might be massageing her ego, or being curious, These are things that do come up when things appear to get old. Your reaction is what set her off. You care a lot about her. This is very hard but you must try and let this go, be strong and confident in yourself, that is attractive. She must be looking for some juice, look at yourself, and find out way, then dont cry. Dont be a whiner demander of all, and need s everthing as if mother was home. You have to accept that she loves life and all tha goes with it. We areHungry for love, You must try and live with some pain to build are heart for future desire. Be a cool bad ass man that has love coming his way. Dont just demand it. live it, be it.
978361
my husbands ex wife is the same way. she wants to be at ALL of his family gatherings but she's so stupid because no one liked her before and they dont like her now she just looks pitiful. anyway she only has one child with him which she held over everyones head like bait or something and now i have two so she only looks dumb because no one wants to see her they only want to see his son.
1011807
My goodness what a sorted story but we hear about that all the time. Women who get accustom to living a certain way and when they see their chance to keep that way of life going they will step on anyone to keep it even their children\n\nI am very sorry to hear that and I know that it i hard to go after her because she is you mother. Actually I don't think their is anything you can do. The courts are aware that you are on your father will. They still awarded her the I will say shares anyway.  I think the best thing for you to do is talk to her about out now. You have to get it out in the open. Don't let it harbor inside of you. It will only make you more angry. \n\nAfter you speak to her about it depending on her response then make your mind up on how to move on from there\n\nGood Luck
792167
I firmly believe that there is nothing that you can do that will change her mind about except be patient and give your bf all the love you can.  She will either come around to liking you in her own good time, or she won't.\n\nMy thinking is that she loves her son, a lot.  That's one thing that the two of you have in common.  Maybe she's lonely and vulnerable. Maybe she's just grumpy. Turn the other cheek.\n\n Be polite, be nice, be caring, and don't take any bs from her.  Keep your self respect by acting with integrity.You can't control her actions, only your own.\n\nDon't confront her, just accept what she's like, and rise above it. She'll stop being bitchy if it doesn't affect you, and may even come to respect you because of it.  Remember that your chief loyalty in all this is to your bf, and his to you. If you're a firm unit, if you love and support each other, and make each other happy, then anyone else's opinion, no matter how hurtful, is as important as that.\n\nKeep being kind to her. She's probably feeling threatened, maybe because she senses you are "the one."  Her behaviour sounds like she's being defensive because she's afraid of losing her son. Show her that there's enough love to go around.\n\nI guess this isn't very helpful, but try and stand up for yourself in a firm, loving, respectful way.  Be yourself: give her some time: and most of all, don't let it adversely affect your relationship.
1023238
Unfortunatly, psychology is exactly what the problem is.  There are many reasons that kids do this, divorce being one of them. It is apparent that she is very insecure, the question you face is why.  During your divorce period, was it amicable, or tumultous?  Was she party to the anxiety, even at 2-21/2 kids pick up so much more "wavelengths" than you can imagine.  Even if she was not "around" during the periods of "bad" times with your ex, she would have still picked up both of your tensions and anxieties that as she has gotten older is manifesting itself in the extreme.  Regardless, the answer your looking for are right in front of you; you and your ex-husband.\n\nI suggest the first place to start is to take her to a medical doctor to ensure that she does not have a hormone imbalance, that all of her blood tests are normal.  Assuming that everything checks out OK, make an appointment with a family therapist, one who specializes in treating kids with security issues. There are several underlying reasons for her behavior, and the first that comes to mind is she is hearing bad things about mom at dad's and bad things about dad at mom's.  Understand, that going back and forth is confusing to a child that age.  The require STRUCTURE on a daily basis.  They need to eat at the same time, bathe at the same time, play, school, activities, etc, the same time every day.  ( of course, there are variables) Should this be one of her issues, then both you and your ex need to get involved in each others weeks.  For example, she goes to dad's on Sunday, so every, say other Sunday, you stay for awhile and have a B-B-Q, or some other communicative fun, all of you, him, you, her, your daughter and who ever else is living there in the family unit.  Provide for her a sense of "belonging" one to the other, Same with your house.  Then during each of your individual weeks, pop over, sit down as a family unit, watch a movie, eat some popcorn, something for just a bit, then leave.  After some time, she will realize that BOTH OF YOU are still there.  I digress that at first this will be difficult, but over a bit of time, you may be impressed how well she will have adjusted.  \nLet's say this is not the problem.  Lets say that she knows this "pushes" your buttons and she will be given something, be it, a snack, toy, etc. Then I would say she is learning very early how to manipulate, which children of divorced parents do very well.  This is easy to fix, stop giving whatever to her.  However, make sure your nerves can handle it.  That is just your guilt that she keyed in on, and if the divorce was the best thing for all, then you have nothing to be guilty for.  \nFinally, the most difficult of all is: Your baby is being hurt somehow and she is not old enough to understand what to do, or what to say, so she "fights" leaving you.  I really hate to approach this one for some many options remain unexplored, however, for her sake and safety it must be put on the table.  \nIn order to get "solutions" you must first find out what the problem is, otherwise, there are no solutions.  Approach it like a book unread.  You have the content but you don't know what it is about but you have to find a title.  Rather hard to do without knowing what the book is about.  I am sure you get the metaphor.  \nBottom line, you MUST find the problem before you can solve anything.  I know from personal experience that when they do this it can drive you nuts, but she MUST COME FIRST.  For the first 3yrs of his life, I could'nt walk out of the room to the kitchen without my son screaming like a banchee.  Going out to work, I would have to sneak out, and you can forget about going to the bathroom and closing the door.  And, my husband and I (his dad) are not divorced.  Sometimes this can be as simple as a parent needing to spend more "one on one time" with the child, which being a s
281750
She is feeling betrayed. It hurt her so bad that everytime she looks at you she wants to scream. And probably throttle you. You are not an idiot though. Everyone makes mistakes. You probably didn't have the intentions of cheating at the time. I really suggest you move out for a little while. Don't jump into divorce. You can't undo the financial and emotional ruin it causes. So separate for a little while and see how that goes. I think it will give you time to think before jumping into that. Perhaps counseling didn't work because you would just come home and continue the fight. Maybe if you move out and try to go to counseling it will be more productive. Do some sweet things between now and then and let her see how sorry you really are. Although you shouldn't stay for the kids, I should warn you how painful divorce will be for your 16 year old. I am a child of divorce and it caused me alot of pain and still does. Try a seperation because your marriage can be worth saving.
1018520
She must be a psycho just like my stepmom, maybe she just despises you, and probably for absolutely no reason, and doesn't want her kids to get close to you. Now that you guys live so close, it would be really easy for them to come over a lot, and maybe she is affraid of the kids liking you more.  Fricken people do really wierd stuff and usually for no reason!!!!! If you haven't already, try calling her or going down to the house and asking her what the problem is. Good Luck!!
1090425
You and your husband will have to make a real effort on this one, and be the bigger people so to speak.  I don't think it's normal for a mother to act like that towards her son and his fiancee, now his wife.  Something is definitely wrong with her mentally.  Just remember that you can choose your friends, but not your family.  I think you and your hubby will have to speak with his mother about the wedding thing, just to get past it and clear the air.  She needs to know how it made you feel to be let down on your Big Day.  You can choose to forgive her or forget it, but you have to be able to move past what's happened in the past.  I don't really have any big words of wisdom other than to take the high road and don't play into her games.  Sometimes you gotta call a Spade a Spade!  No matter how bad she treats you, turn your cheek and be extremely nice back to her.... it gets them every time!
778090
sound like the twin of my ex mother in law. I am assuming her hubby isn't around to torture anymore. Hubby feels like she is protecting his interest. He needs to be reminded of who his interests really are. Ultimatum time. Don't let this unhappy person get you down to her level, where she will be more comfortable with you. Move away. Find her a Hobie, like "find your way home"
193229
I don't really understand how this could be so. I am not jealous of my children, son or daughter, but am proud of them probably to the point of annoying those around me. I cannot comprehend a mother hurting her child in this fashion. Have you tried telling her what she is doing to you? and how much you want her acceptance and approval? Even so, she ought to realize it without being told unless she has emotional issues that block her from being the parent here.  It is very sad that she cannot feel joy in the things you are accomplishing, but I would urge you to take pride in yourself that you are doing the right things. Many people not getting positive feedback from their parents and mentors would turn down bad pathways, but you have not. So you must parent yourself here, and love yourself, and be proud of yourself.  After all, it is YOUR life, not hers.  You are the one to ultimately reap the rewards of your hard work.  If she is too blind for what ever reason to see your accomplishments, don't let her also blind you to them.  Try to comfort yourself with the understanding that the deficiency here lies in her, not in you.  If you must feel hurt, feel hurt for her that she lacks such an important facet of motherhood--the joy of rejoicing in your child's success. It is not a reflection of you, or proof of any failure on your part, and you must believe that.  You are not only good, but more than good, you are better and the best.\nI would be proud if you were mine.  Understand that your mom has issues, and these issues are not your fault. Do well for you and for your future and your future children.