What do I do about being lonely and paranoid about love?
141187
Don't worry about it there is someone for everyone, instead of worrying about it just simply project a smile everyday and a positive attitude and watch the flood gates open when you start to get approached by men wanting to get to know you....choose someone that you would like to be your friend first verses your lover and the love will surely come...be your true self and not some fake female that he may want you to be...and then let the cards fall where they may.....
459944
Love and pain come hand in hand. You can't avoid it. Allow yourself to fall, it's the whole point of "falling" in love. They will catch you if they love you in return. It's better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all. It's the only way to live. Push your fear aside and give it your all.
945590
I think you are obsessing about this girl.  It's not uncommon, we all did that...I know I did, boy after boy after boy when I was young!  The reason you can't sleep is you can't find an outlet for your feelings.  The only way to get rid of your restlessness and obsession is to let your feelings out or to act on them.  You know I bet if you were to talk to an adult about this...to a school counsellor, someone you trust to hold your confidence in this matter, they could help you.  Someone who knows you both could actually even pull you together, at least close enough so that you would TALK to this poor girl who is likely clueless to your feelings towards her.  \n\nWhat do you mean it's "a crush on her personality".  That sounds like you really admire her and have a great deal of respect for her, that she has qualities that you either like in a girl or would want for yourself.  Sometimes we obsess with people because we want to be like them.\n\nYou should try to get involved with her somehow, in conversation, in class, in a sport or event.  If all else fails you could write her a letter and tell her your feelings.\n\nJust say, hey, I have to get this off my chest because I can't stop thinking about you and I am very shy, but I think you are terrific.  I don't want you to panic.  I'm not going to stalk you, but I just had to let you know that you are the epitome of a woman and you just had to let her know....something like that where you are not saying I LOVE YOU!!! or making her feel scared or threatened or self-conscious. \n\nYou know even if you write these letters and never give them to her, you will do yourself a favour.  But you can't go on the way you are obviously...so one way or another the story has to end...or begin...the point is something will change when you make a move forward, maybe for the good, maybe for the bad, but at least you won't be "stuck"...which is the worst thing in the world...I know I've been there and sooner or later you gotta take the risk.\n\nYou sound like a really nice boy.  My daughter is goign through this phase in high school and I think girls like it when guys just be themselves and make a move and do anything...like this boy threw leaves in her hair today and she's telling me about it and yesterday he told her she looked goth with her hair the way she styled it...it's little baby steps that get you there...say nice things to girls...they like that...just be yourself as you would with any of your other friends and you're already friends with her brother...so let her see what a great guy you are when you're with him.  You're already IN there...get over that shyness boy! :~)
260945
you know its funny cause that sounds just like me but i have somebody now.Even though you are a nervous person you just need to get out there and meet people,go out with friends and just have fun.I think you will find sombody.Oh and im still in love with my ex and i dont know how to get over that.
601081
Try getting some therapy; you need to understand why you're doing this to yourself.  Once you're able to focus on giving love and acceptance, rather than receiving it, you should be able to have a healthy relationship.
1042720
You can think of a friend and know that they think of you. You are never alone, even in the darkest of fairy tales of your life, there is always someone interested and eager enough to be concerned about you, even a stranger at the end of an e-mail ok. Dont be so lonely, there are many wonderful things in life and many to share it with, i promise you.\nNow tonight close your eyes, do whatever the others suggested above, then peacelfully cast your mind east to the Atlantic across its depths to Ireland and smile in the knowledge that i-someone you dont even know-will think about you today. And before i fall asleep i'll do you this same favor today and you certainly wont be alone as you drift off.\nMy deepest kindnesses,\nD
28042
First off I know what your talking about with this one, believe me. The honest best advice I give you is not to take out your past experiences on other people. Not everyone is the same believe it or not, I know it sux when you get burned......watch people get burned......etc but if you keep onletting your fears get in the way... YOU WON"T EVER BE HAPPY!!!!! that's the honest truth...work through your fears and be specific on the type of people you date lol
504586
You have you whole life for love.  If the one does not care about you, find someone else.  Do not settle.  Remember, life is too short to settle.  Don't be in a rush.  People have a habit of fearing being alone.  I would rather be alone, then be with someone who does not care for me.
752255
Please don't mistake loneliness for love, because it really doesn't sound like he gives a sh*t about you. \n\nYou are convenient when he wants you, but when he gets restless, you get dumped.\n\nDon't give him the satisfaction of being the more powerful. Take a stand, tell him to hit the road, once and for all. \n\nYou are a powerful, strong woman, who can take control of this situation. It will take one day at a time, but you will get through this. Don't fall for his crap, and take him back again. Things will just keep going round in this circle if you do. It's time to break the cycle. \n\nIf you feel like you can't do this on your own, I am sure there would be a support group of some description out there, you could ask for advice.\n\nRemember, you are strong, beautiful, powerful.\n\nGood Luck and HAPPINESS in your future.
300677
It takes time.  I'm still not over my ex and that was 7 years ago.  I know that doesn't sound promising, but that isn't what life is about.  You learn to deal.  As time goes by it gets easier.  If you really love someone they will always hold a special place in your heart, even 50 years down the road.  Don't try to get over it.  Cry, listen to sad music, wear pj pants, and eat ice cream.  Everyone needs to wallow.  Eventually you will want to start living again and be happy and you will. Don't try to be friends though.  When things are that serious and one still has feelings and you try to "just be friends", the one with the feeling, you, will always get hurt in the end.  You'll realize it's not enough and you'll never heal that way.  Just remember not to shut love out because of one jerk.  Life is too long to live it alone and lonely.
35516
I agree with the previous poster, I was abused in two of my relationships, and recently my boyfriend killed himself, and since then just the thought of dating any guys makes me extremely uncomfortable, I'm even uncomfortable being in the same room with a guy that would most times be near my type. And of course I've had intensive therapy for a very long time, and have yet to not freeze up around even guy friends, and it has destroyed many friendships because I am unwilling to open up and share my feelings, and am often called cold, or unfeeling. The best advice, give it some time, when the right one comes along then you'll most likely have feelings of attraction for them.
540850
Stop worrying so much. Romance happens when you least expect it. Most guys won't admit it but they feel and have the same insecurities that we have. I don't know how old you are, but if you have a hobby try to find a club or somthing to join to meet guy's who have the same intrest that you have. I met my husband at work. \nI promice that you will find love.
644914
Being cheated on more than once shows that you are making bad choices of people you chose to date.\n\nThere is nothing wrong in being afraid of being hurt again. But, only you have the power to make sure that it doesn’t happen again.\n\nTake some time to learn from your past mistakes. I bet there are many similarities in those people who cheated on you. Identify what those similarities are. So, then in the future you can avoid letting that type of person in your life. Also you have an issue of loneliness. This is probably the biggest factor in the choices you have made. You wanted so bad not to be lonely, that you dated anyone for the mere fact of not being alone. Right there is the start of making bad choices. It has become a vicious circle. Only you can decide to get off the marry-go-round.\n\nDon’t let the ‘feeling’ lonely run your life.\nDon’t think you don’t have an identity unless you have someone else.\nDon’t you have any goals or dreams for yourself? Fill your own life with setting goals and achieving them. Surround yourself with friends and family who support your goals and maybe even help you accomplish them.\n\nIf people don’t like you when your not dating, ask yourself why?\nPeople tend to like to be around happy people. If your going around complaining that you are lonely and being depressed, maybe your friends are tired of it. Or Maybe you could use some new friends.\nIf you are always going to depend on others to make you happy you will always be setting yourself up for the eventual disappointment.\nOther people don’t want to be responsible for your happiness. That is a lot to ask of someone. How can you expect someone else to make you happy when you don’t even make your self happy. You expect someone to do for you what you won’t even do for yourself.\n\nBeggars can’t be choosy.\nDon’t be a beggar anymore. Become a chooser. And learn from your past to choose wisely.
796034
Someone who's only 16yrs old who feels as desperate as you say you do is going to end up in trouble "looking for love". You shouldn't even be THINKING about love at your age! You should be too busy with SCHOOL, your friends, going to movies, after school jobs, experimenting with new hair and make-up, etc.  Don't go looking....you'll find trouble not love. You're too young. When you're ready, love will find you.  God bless you, Honey!
387486
I don't think you are paranoid, I think you are a fool for even talking to him anymore.  You must have low self esteem to let someone treat you like that.   If you're smart tell him to take a hike,..a long one!  Find someone deserving of you not some jerk that treats you like a fool.\nMove on, and good luck in finding someone honest and nice too.\nGod Bless!
148316
The key is to accept the fact you are single, and not be bothered by it. \nLet other things make you busy, like work or family or friends.. love will come along without you'd even notice. \nBeing single is not something bad, it's not something you need to learn how to handle.. It's temp situation, don't let it bother you too much.
952182
Ok. (taking a deep breath) Let me try to help. This is a bit challenging.\n\nThe first thing I recommend is your sitting down and figuring out just what is causing you so much inner discomfort. Are you afraid to open up? Are you too "hungry" for a woman? Write down your thoughts, your dreams and your fantasies about being with others. Seeing who you are - on paper - helps your mind to sort things out.\n\nNext - take a look at your "shyness." Being shy only means that you are uncomfortable being open with/around others. WHY? Do you fear rejection? Well, based on what you wrote, women seem attracted to you so, allow them to get to KNOW you. \n\nHint: (Some women like being around less aggressive guys - smile)\n\nWHO do you admire? WHO is your hero (or fantasy girl)? THAT may also be why you feel you are missing the mark. Don't gauge yourself based on THEIR characteristics; we ALL have perfect counterparts. The trick is in finding people with similar interests and goals and the only way THAT will happen is by being YOURSELF. \n\nDon't measure yourself against who you feel is the "perfect man" or the "right girl." Just relax, laugh, and enjoy your contacts.\n\nFinally, put YOURSELF in control. Hey - YOU are the master of your own life and destiny; so MAKE THINGS HAPPEN for YOU!\n\nSelect; never settle - regardless of that being a friend or a lover... Just know that there are people out there looking for YOU (the real you) just as YOU have needs for their company.\n\nBe real. Be YOU. The rest will flow through.\n\nThanks for writing, my friend & Good Luck to you!