how do you get back on the horse after being divorced for fifteen yrs?
142587
I was divorced for seventeen. then happened upon a woman that I have been happy with for the past three.  there is no secret but I promise you if you start looking with the purpose of finding a relationship you will get hurt. Live life every day and don't avoid situations where there are people of the other sex.  Sooner or later someone will catch your eye. If not you're better off alone.
487967
You got divorced for a reason.  Remember that reason, and move on.
696820
Give it time. Get out and get back into things. It does take awhile, but can be done. I stayed single for over 2 years before I was ready to get back out there. Don't give up hope. When i thought i would never meet anyone again..I did. Your whole attitude will change. Make some new friends and try things that you never have. You will be able to show these new things to the kids too.
200225
If you are considering another relationship with her then maybe marriage counselling would be a first step.  If you can get through that then I might consider trying again but obviously there were serious issues that warranted the divorce to begin with.
641183
You know i have been through this situation myself.  I'm not proud.  We just kind of drifted apart after the same amount of time as you, but were only separated for about 2 months.  I really liked the feeling of freedom and meeting other people.  I still think of a certain someone now and then, especially when my husband and i get into arguments about petty stuff.  I think "why did i even come back"?  Then i realize that he has put up with all my crap and it would be so hard to start all over and put effort into a new relationship.  I also think about my kids and in today's society kids need the guidance of both parents.  Anyway, i really do love my husband, it's just sometimes its fun to think of what could have been.  \nI'm not saying all marriages are to stay together for the sake of the children, it's just if you really love each other, you need to try and get passed the other man.\n\nTry to do things with your husband, take time for yourselves.  Go to the movies out to eat, or even spend time at the park with the kids(if it applies).  And just when you feel an argument coming on think and sometimes prayer comes in handy(if you are religious). \n\nGood luck. i wish you the best.
78659
Actually, it depends on how you handle yourself emotionally.\nMarriages, and divorces tend to give you alot of baggage to carry or get rid of. In this process of healing and becoming whole again, there are some materials I have seen that would say it takes about 3 years to really get over it.\n Butr that's entirely up to you how well or how fast it goes.
84757
Sounds like this hit you hard. Sounds like you didnt know it was coming. They have support groups for divorce people. Try going out and doing something for yourself thats make you feel good, and dont blame yourself.
1021277
Don't have the relationship UNTIL everything has gone thru the court systems. That way HUBBY/EX-to-be can't use anything against you. \n\nTHEN go slowly starting a NEW relationship. Take it slow and easy.
914367
Mixed emotion, clouded mind, dark roads, all can seem a bit scary. But did you know that you hold the key to your new tomorrow? In your own hands you hold your life and the life of your kids. You also have the keys, flash light and map for your tomorrow.\n\nAfter the divorce you are given new powers to re-write your life story and tell it to the world how you want it to be heard. Divorce will bring you freedom. You are free to move on. Do not be like the elephant on a chain. A trained elephant has been chained and conditioned to only move about (by the limitations of the chain). Once the chain is taken off, the elephant does not run free because they have convinced them self that they are  still chained up. Do not let your past haunt you like this. You are a free woman. Get up and move about and explore the world you have been dying to see.\n\nThink not of yesterday or the what could have been, learn to live in the moment of today. Embrace your new freedom.
229868
Take time for yourself and heal yourself or you may  find yourself attracting another abuser. You need to regain your confidence before putting yourself out there and after five years of emotional abuse some wear and tear has been done to your confidence.So take it slow, especially with some of the wolves out there you need to be in tip top shape to take the plunge again.
59035
Your best bet is to talk to an Atty. I also think there is a default time limit to contest the divorce. An atty. can give you better direction then I could.
842224
well it is hard to admit that we are divorced, it's like saying I failed in  a relationship. But until you get over that feeling that it just wasn't meant to be, you won't feel good about yourself. You have to realize that it wasn't your fault and eveerything happens in life for a reason if we don't always know the reason
840428
My wife and I divorced when our sons were 5 and 2 1/2.  It was a miserable experience.  The divorce was painful because I didn't feel like I belonged anywhere anymore.  There was no normality.  Even more painful was not being with my sons everyday.  The hurt will not disappear overnight.  You probably don't want to hear this but it just takes some time.  One thing that will help is to maintain a civil relationship with your ex, but while the hurt is still there try to restrict your conversations to the children.  As for the children, do whatever you can to make sure you have as much time with them as you possibly can.  Focus your energy on making sure they know you want them around and that your home is also their's and they aren't just visitors.  I know the pain you are feeling and my heart goes out to you.  This won't make the hurt go away completely, but it does give you something to sort of hang-on to that is positive.
364878
sorry to hear that. but i really think you need to see someone professional to get over this. if you are getting back together you have to consider whether he will be able to understand you and forgive you. a professional will help you forgive yourself, however i think that there is nothing wrong with being with someone else when youre separated. feeling "dirty" - come on, the guy made you do things you didnt want to do, hes the dirty one!! make sure youre not getting together with your husband because youre feeling bad after the abusive relationship, you have to make sure that the true reason is your love for him and not pity for yourself. a professional will help yu figure things out! :)
466504
Realize what went wrong.\nThere is no fixing this if the marriage ended but make sure it doesn't happen again by not repeating past mistakes no matter who was at fault.\nPick Yourself up.\nStart attending events that interest you.\nSince you must be older , possibly look for senior activities even at large senior centers where you can go have dinner in the dining hall and talk with people your age if you don't have a strong friend network.
128142
You have answered your own question.  All the things you mentioned - you will need to bring back.  Opening the communication is the 1st step to recovery.\n\nOr you could sigh up for Wife Swap.
655907
Sounds to me like Mark is dragging is feet, afterall, you has his cake and is eating it too.  You divorced for one reason or another.  What makes you think that it will work this time.  The past will hinder any happiness that you two may have together.  You should think real hard on this issue and decide if you can go thru with it or not.  If you can't, leave before it's too late.