am i over doing it with my preschool age son?
156795
Hi, I was an early childhood major so hopefully I can help you out.  Kindergarten is becoming increasingly academic.  Working with him is a great idea!  However, preschoolers were not made to sit down and do worksheets.  Try to play some active learning games with him, that engage him and make him think.  Read, read, read!  Read to him everyday.  Try to ask him a lot of open-ended questions.  Preschoolers need to discover for themselves (with close supervision).  If he wants to know where mud comes from, make it.  You can also practice writing letters with him in the sand, by cutting letters out of magazines, using seeds and glue...anything you can think of.  Worksheets are good in some cases but there are a lot more things you can do that are more "developmentally appropriate".  I have included two links in the resource section that you should visit.  These are excellent and free publications from the United States Department of Education based upon years and years of research that would be perfect for you to read.\n\nHope that helped!
865229
You just told it. Tell it to your son that way. It's better when it come from the way you remember it. \nI'm wondering how old your son is that you still have such a tight relationship. Just don't smother him, or one day it will be too much for him. \nLove but let live, too.
669971
If what you mean your 5 1/2 years old son is spending 7 hours in his class as a level 1 pupil and you want him to quit for a year, and you want other to comment on your decision regarding this, I would say, yes you may wait for another year for your son to be that matured enough to stay longer in a classroom.\n\nHow about getting him a tutor or bringing him to pre schools to have a shorter stay in a classroom.
243481
maadidi, My little boy is 4 and he just recently started to become attached to his father. My husband and I have been separated most of his life. Just this past year my husband and I reconciled and my boy has become a daddy's boy finally. Only because he became a part of my sons like on a daily basis. We are now separated again but my husband see our children now at least every 2 days even if its just a few minutes. And he spends all weekend with them and me. Make a bigger effort to spend time with your son. Also you have to find out the things he enjoys and do it with him. Always make him the center of your universe. Good luck.
756899
I think if you are not comfortable with your 5 year old son/daughter walking in while in the act, then you need to say so. Alot of kids have walked in on their parents, and that is one thing that grossly sticks in their memories...many of us adults still remember...yuck! There is a time and place for this, but when there is a chance the kids could walk in, then it should not even be a question. She sounds a bit selfish. If she wants to spice it up, then wait until the kids are asleep and you two can go outside or in the car, or wherever she finds it exciting. So, I do not feel that you are in the wrong on this, I don't agree with it either. Good luck! :)
69281
well for the life isn't fair comment tell him he is lucky to learn that at a young age. As for his attitude. Thats a tuff one I have kids his age and I firmly believe in restricting the peers he/she hangs out with. Also if it is possible get him involved in activities after school. Baseball or whatever he is in to. If he is not interested, make him do it for one season or one whatever depending on what you choose. I did this and my daughter cried and stomped her feet. Now she plays softball every chance she gets, and I can tell her if she is not good she wont play. It's hard to give advice without knowing your exact situation but I hope this helps. Remember in a couple of yearsthere wont be much you can do about anything so stand your ground he will thank you in the end.
670095
Been there and done that .....   :( all i can say is do not let him manipulate u and i do not know the childrens ages but can tell you that kids change their minds quite often and things will surely work out  ......  good luck
928703
Read, read, read, read, read.  Play, play, play -  but try to do it together.  You can even include your other kids and spouse.\n\nMy son loved books and never got enough.  My partner typically spends 30-60 minutes right before bedtime with both kids.  He learned everything at a very young age.  He also enjoys a lot of the leap-pad, leap-frog, etc educational learning toys and videos.\n\nMy niece had the same problem, where the father was non-existant and didn't really care, and the mother was "too busy".  But that didn't mean that she wasn't interested, and on the rare holidays would love the attention we would lavish on her reading books and explaining things like how planets moved and why there were seasons.\n\nUndoubtedly, anything you do, so long as you show an interest should appeal to your step son, who probably is not used to the attention, and would welcome some interaction.  Just make sure too to have patience with the understanding that he didn't get the benefits that your other kids have had at a young age.
1111333
No! You do not have to let a child under 3 go overnight any where with the father or any one else. Why would you stop doing what is right and healthy for your child for a man who chose to abandon him and now wants to show him off as a treasure? Do you love your son?
406087
Oh, No, NO, NO!!! Do NOT take his string away!!!  Do NOT try to break his habits, until you have gotten training in how to do it without making him withdraw any further from the world!\n\nAutism is a very tricky problem. He is responding to the world the way he really does see it. How would you like it if, every time you did anything, you were not allowed to do it?  No, you can't scratch your itches, no matter how much they hurt... No, you can't look at anything pretty or interesting? No, you can't do anything you enjoy doing?\n\nYou may not understand what he sees in that string, or what he feels that cause him to have his other behaviors.\n\nThere are special programs designed, through research and through the comments and suggestions of those intelligent autistics, now adults, who are able to communicate effectively, to help your son learn new ways of seeing his world, and learn new behaviors.\n\nHow old is he? If he is under the age of 22, he (and you) should be receiving specialized Autism programming through the public schools, with home training services linked through the school social worker.  If he is under the age of 3, you are eligible for service support in your home (Individualized Family Service Program). If he is age 3 or 4, he should be in a specialized preschool program. If he is ages 5 through 21, he should be getting specialized programming through the nearest public school.\n\nSee these links:\n\nhttp://www.autismweb.com/\nhttp://kidshealth.org/parent/medical/brain/autism.html\nhttp://www.autism-society.org/site/PageServer\nhttp://wwww.spedusource.org/
569023
Sounds like you need to examine your own lifestyle. All this bed hopping hasn't exactly worked, has it? Think it through. Your son has been through a lot, granted. But WHY has he been placed in that position? Take control of your life and learn from your mistakes.
833853
i am a mother of 4 all boys . i try not to treat the youngest any different but i do and it is because he is the last one there is not going to be any more baby steps in our house it will be the last of the last . the other reason is i am tired i have said it all 3 time before by the time the 4th one goes to do it i am just tired . so he does have more freedom and he mother away with stuff .
596393
No he is not too old and he is not too old to have kids.   I'm 45 and the mother of my son( who is 2) is 23.  So no he is not too old. some may not like it but that is their problem not yours.
154952
No. It's your responsibilty as a parent.\nKeep up the good work!
1112062
This is very challenging, indeed!   Time to bring on your "big guns" of creativity...\n\nAct, but do not REACT.\n\nThe first thing that really stands out to me, is that he is really frustrated and feels unable to communicate effectively...and this is where you can really be the hero for him: to show him by your example how far you will go to continue communicating lovingly when you are frustrated.  I know it's tough, and he really needs you to be "bigger" in heart & wisdom than he is.\n\nI imagine that trying to verbally communicate with your son when he is angry and frustrated is nearly impossible.  But I do think that when he is calm, you and he can sit down together to problem solve this together and make a simple plan.  You might be surpised how distressing this anger stuff is to him, as well as be ignited by his brilliance of the ideas that you he would come up with.  But you already know that...;-] Either way, these conversations, however brief the interaction, will lay the groundwork -- on their own -- for the very ideas that he needs to draw from when he's so irrate. \n\n  Remember that often boys' verbal skills develop much slower than girls, biologicaly speaking.  (Do you remember this when you were his age?) My son couldn't speak understandably until he was 5; now an adult, he's an excellent & sensitive communicator.  \n\nSecondly, be very careful about falling into the trap of diagnosis and labels...They're rather like "pin the tail on the donkey", with lots of misses in the dark! While your main intention is to be a responsible and wise, loving dad, who doesn't miss anything crucial, I sense this could easily backfire on you, especially when you are asking him about symptoms of psychosis.  (Beware of projections -- not helpful.) .  Too much information for a 4 year old child who's already stressed.   Toss out the spanking right along with that, because that's really stressing him.  He wonders why you get to hit, and he doesn't. \n\nI never met a child who didn't respond to love, especially from his Big Buddy!\n\nOn the other hand, it is not loving to allow him to hurt you or anyone else.  Thrashing his own room, however, might be another matter...it's his stuff.  The basic element of developing his agression (competition, motivation, hutszpah! but not meanness) is normal, and You can be a responsible loving parent by not repessing his natural (vital, life force) agression and guiding or directing him in how to express his frustrations, safely.  I would clear his room of anything dangerous or hard, limit him to that kind of upset in his own room -- not agression towards anyone -- but allowing him a safe place and manner to vent his feelings until he is ready to rejoin the family.  He's not in his room for punishment, just for safety, just like you guys talked about it.\n\nNonetheless, I can well imagine this does not happen only at home, so you'll need to come up with a similar plan at Grandma's and the grocery store, etc. Remember the key here is not to stop but to guide him.  How do I know he's not the "Child from Hell"?  Because as soon as he calms down (on his own) he WANTS to return to a connected, loving state. And just like anything else thus far, he is looking to you for an answer to something that as yet seems just too big for himself to deal with.  \n\nUltimately, you both will not need him to rip up his room, because together, you will teach each other how to breathe, calm down in the moment, and communicate. You will be mastering this yourself, and teaching him this at every stage of his development.\n\nRight now, this is a stage (tough as it may be), which he will grow out of with your patient and brave guidance...and of course, Love.\n\nLove and Light to you all!\n\nP.S.> IF a diagnosis alone must be considered, I would first look at Asperger's or some other form of Autism, which tends to be
193343
I am having the same exact problem with my 5yr old son.  I can't get him to pay attention and he doesn't even try to focus sometimes at all.  It's EXTREMELY frustrating because I don't want him to get left back.  He's only in kindergarten, for goodness sakes.  \n\nAnyway - sorry about the venting - the only advice that I can give is that if you are really worried about it you can always ask the school board to have him evaluated for any problems.  I'm having my CSE meeting tomorrow and it looks like they are going to give my son services - speech therapy, occupational therapy - you get the idea.\n\nHope this helps.
486811
Lots of supervision still needed at this age but they think they are independent and love feeling like a big kid. I would say this is in general, a jello phase. You have to start instilling kids as soon as possible with good habits, just like you add the fruit before the jello sets.\n\nKids this age are definitely capable of learning manners. Please, thank you, excuse me, thank you NOTES for gifts, even if they just draw a picture and you help by writing the note on the margin...also other social skills. Sharing is a biggie. Quiet voice. Learning how to accept the answer they don't want to hear. Learning to be patient, wait in line, take turns, etc.\n\nBig helper time at the age of 3. Can have a lot of fun just following you around the house while you do ordinary jobs and making it fun at this age gets them started on life skills with a good attitude. 3's can help you in the kitchen by dumping ingredients in and helping you stir, matching socks and folding washcloths, picking up toys, even learn the motions of dusting, sweeping, etc even if you go behind them or their spray bottle has just water in it. It isn't ever about perfection or helping you get things done faster, it is about having a good attitude to pitch in and their satisfaction at contributing to the task, as well as practicing the basic motions of those tasks.\n\nHygiene and self care. Can start brushing his own teeth, but you would go behind and help. Handwashing and finishing up the potty training, a new skill most times at the age of 3. Can probably help with washing himself in the bathtub...and hair if you use a tear free shampoo. Can probably dress self if you lay out the clothes for him...pull-on clothes, will be working on snaps, buttons, zippers, and getting things on frontwards and right side out, etc.\n\nKids this age are pretty fluent talkers and will love learning new words for things. Body parts, things in the city, animals, colors, stuff in the house. Help him identify stuff in his world. \n\nKid-friendly museums might be an excellent learning opportunity. And library time is great.\n\nStill too young for reading and math but some letter identification and counting, as well as being read TO, will be a great start on literacy.\n\nEmotionally, kids at 3 will benefit from learning how to identify their feelings. Questions will help. What kind of face is this? Was the boy in the book scared? When you see an emotional outburst, good or bad, you can ask him if he is feeling what you think or say something like, "I'll bet you are pretty happy now!" or "That would make me mad, are you mad?" Getting in touch with feelings at an early age will help kids manage them as they spring up.\n\nPsychologically, kids at all ages, particularly young, need solid boundaries, and a lot of supervision and structure. Kids this age need regular snacks and lots of rest. Try to alternate between quiet time and rowdy time. Try to do things the way the parents do at home. And give clear simple directions with direct consequences and if you have to discipline, keep your word with what you say will happen. CATCH THEM BEING GOOD! meaning to heap on the praise for doing the right thing, they will not misbehave nearly as much in trying to please you and get that reinforcement if they know you notice. Try to stretch attention spans by avoiding things like 10 minute cartoons or 5 minute books, but at the same time, recognize that kids have a rather short attn span and memory.\n\nKids this age love to explore and be busy. Nature walks are great. When I was a nanny, we used to collect leaves, pine cones, sticks, sand, etc then use them in art projects. The family was religious and we called it God art...sand was God glitter...we glued a surface and put sand on it, shook it off. We always loved coming up on a busy ant pile or a new bug or animal. For games, hiding games, races, dressup, are great. For sit down, matching games are good. Chutes and Ladders