how do you help your friend without seeming like you own her life?
142540
Tell your friend that it looks like she wants to go a different way in her friendships and that you don't have much choice but to watch her go.  Let her know you're there for her if she needs a friend but not to bring any hate or meanness to the table when she does, to leave it with the hater she's wanting to hang with now.  It's tough to watch a pal go off in a direction you think is hurtful, KNOW is hurtful.  Part of growing is discovering what you're really about though and there's something in this new friendship that she's trying to find in herself.  There may also be an emerging masochistic nature to your friend that she's not shared with you before and this new friendship may be REALLY appealing in a way you can't relate to.  My guess is that if you give her space, she'll remember who she is and what she's about and reconnect with you.  If not then you need to understand that there are an awful lot of people out there who don't have the courage of their own convictions and are wildly uncomfortable with who they are.  You sound totally grounded but I get the sense that your friend isn't.
142727
Get involved, get a life.  Don't be so bothered by the fact that you are not hearing from your friend often enough, it seems like she knows your number when she is going through stuff, and loses it when all is going well for her, that to me isn't what friendship is all about.  Maybe if you were to find things to occupy your time and maybe start meeting other people, you may very well come across someone who will treasure you as a friend and have respect for your friendship.
183880
tell her she has no right telling you what to do,\na true friend would respect that
498438
Let her know that you are there to listen if she needs it.  Don't pressure her to talk or she may pull away more.  Just be there for her and when she is comfortable, she'll open up.  Maybe if you start talking about your problems or problems of a "friend" she'll feel a little more at ease about discussing her own.
1180394
just be supportive. Give her a hug and tell her you will be there for her.  If she is over 18, you should strongly suggest she get help, and tell her you will be there for her every step of the way. If she is under 18, you should do the same, but if she refuses, you should tell an adult. She needs help you cannot give her. All you can give her is support and friendship.
549532
You most definitely did the right thing. After she gets help and cleans up she will eventually realize that you were looking out for her. I have been in a similar situation only I was in the position that your friend is in. I was furious at the friend that ratted me out and I reacted the same way. After I cleaned up my act and got counseling, I realized my life would have been ruined if it weren't for the one person that truly cared enough to tell someone so I could get help. Give her time and space and when she calls (and she will) just offer your friendship again and give her all of the love and support you can. Good luck!
748766
you can't! They are the only one who can make that decision, and its one of the hardest things to see a friend falling to pieces...but there is one thing you can do....when he need you...be there for him/her....10 percent...first they have to hit rock bottom, and then when there finally come around....there will need lots of good friend and support....so be there!!!!
71462
Tell your friend she deserves to be happy and she will probably need a therapist to help her through this.
27760
You must be very careful if you choose to keep this type of friendship. I had a friend like this and because of her need for attention she did things like always try to cause confusion even between my sister and I.  She even lied about having cancer one time for attention! She is a middle age woman I finally decided that for my piece of mind she was not a asset to me but a liability and I ended the friendship.
33449
If you don't feel that you can be honest with them about how you feel, I think you should find other activities to do, getting too busy to support your friendship. Friendships will dry up, if you don't water them regularly with visits, phone calls and notes. If you are too busy to fit her into your schedule, she'll either ask you up front what's up or she'll slowly move on to someone else. If she asks, that's your cue to be honest, even though it might hurt. Without knowing how she "makes" you feel bad, it's hard to know if you're not bringing on some of this treatment yourself, actually encouraging her that it's ok to treat you this way. Some people think it's better to have a "bad" friend than no friend at all. If she is truly a "toxic" friend, move on to more positive people. In time, she'll fade away. I would rather that she knows exactly what's causing you to not want to be around her. Maybe she doesn't have a clue that she's treating you badly. Maybe she does this to everyone. If not, you have to ask yourself why you? Letting her know will give her the option of changing...or not. If you have body odor, and everyone avoids you, not wanting to be around you, wouldn't you want to be told? You might think everyone hates you or maybe doesn't like your clothes or something. No one has the right to treat you badly. You give them that right. You can take it away. <*)))><
982572
Ask your friend to help you.
541521
i think ur friend is wise enough to know what she has to do ...dont need ur advice
791859
You don't help them at all. You support them and be there when they need a friend but if you try to do more than that it could be counter productive to their recovery process. It's not suppose to be easy.
574721
gorl oh my gosh she really does need help u need to tell or call someone and i am serious i have had a situation like this and just try to talk and comfort her and tell her how much she is loved by u and her other family and freinds tell her that she still ha s2 acomplish things in her life and that she can get help and that you will be ther with her if she wants.\n\n                         - i wish u the best of luck with her and u
672489
You may try talking to her and make her understand that you also have a life going on. And she has to learn that someday you might not be there for her and she has to learn to be more independent.
615926
Tell her that you appreciate her concern for your well-being (assuming that this is her 'intent'), but that there are some things in life that you need to handle on your own.  Perhaps ask her if she'd be willing to listen if you need a sounding board.  That might make her feel that she's still useful.
180709
YOu can't help your friend as much as you wold like to you just can't. She has to help herself. (I know in NY there are places that will take you rehabs and stuff even if you dont have money , the state helps you) People that bad off NEED to hit rock bottom cause its the only thing that will make them turn around and help themselves. Sorry but its the truth.