Anyone have any funny Football jokes?
145257
The threat Level in Detroit has been raised\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\nTO BLACK & GOLD
258497
go to funnyjunk.com, or jokes.com
910889
OMG this joke is one of my favorites!!! Got any more?
339371
its not too dirty but this one cracked me up\n\n\n\nThe Three Wishes\n\nso a guy walks into a bar and orders a drink. the bartender notices how strong and muscular he is but notices his rather small head. so he asks the guy what's up with that. so the guy begins to tell his story,\n\nwell last week when i was taking a walk into the woods i heard someone crying for help near a stream. to my amazement it was a frog. she told me to give her a kiss and i would be granted three wishes. seeing i had nothing to lose i kissed her.all of a sudden she turned into a beautiful naked woman. she goes you now have three wishes.\n\ni looked down at my scrawny 115 pound body and said. i want a body like arnold swarzenneger. then i suddenly had a body like his but because it was much bigger than my clothes they ripped off and i was standing there naked. she said two more wishes\n\nwell i looked at her beautiful body and said i want to make passionate love to you. so we did that for a couple of hours. then she replied one more wish\n\nand i sead....how about a little head?\n\n\n\nlol
107870
Yes, someone knows one or more funny jokes.  http://answers.yahoo.com/dir/;_ylt=ArnzjuRlqSbxSa5yiGyF8SL4y6IX?link=list&sid=396546041
1088398
Here's some for ya:\n\n  A couple just got a new house. The husband turned to his wife and ask her to go to the hardware store and get a door hinge for him. She kindly agreed and left. \nWhen she got to the hardware store, got the hinge, and put it on the counter in fornt of the clerk. He noticed that she didn't have any screws for it, so he asked her ''Do you want a screw for that hinge?'' \n\nShe looked back at him and said ''No, but I'll blow you for that toaster in the window.''\n \n\n  One day a teacher went into her class room and saw the word, “penis” written in small letters on the chalkboard. She erased it and went on with the day's lesson. The next day, she came in and saw the same word on the chalkbaord, but a little bit bigger. She erased it and went on with her lesson.\nEach of the next several days, the teacher would come in to find “penis” on the board, a little larger each time. She went in one morning, expecting to dinf it again, but instead the chalkboard read: “The more you rub it, the bigger it gets.” \n\nCheer's
892716
Here's one for you:\nThere's a trucker driving along the highway in Nevada, and he starts to get really horny. He then sees a sign for a Brothel (whore house) 10 miles away. He begins to get very excited when he spots a note at the bottom of the sign which says: "Beware of Sandpaper Sally." He thinks this is a bit wierd but keeps driving and gets hornier and hornier. He finally gets to the Brothel, throws money down on the table, and says: "I want a whore." to which a woman repeats: "Okay, but the only girl we have left is Sally." He decides to take the offer and runs up to the room he's told Sally is in. He opens the door and sees the prettiest blond he's ever seen in his life, throws her down on the bed and procedes to have his way with her when he notices that she is a bit rough and dry down there. He asks what's wrong with her and she gets up and goes to the bathroom. She comes back and they start again. He says that it feels great and asks what she did. To which she replies:"I picked the scabs." \n\nHere's another:\nTwo men are sitting at a bar, one turns to the other and says:"I f*cked your mom."\nThe bar goes silent as everyone looks at the two men to see what is going to happen.\nOnce again, the first man repeats:"I f*cked your mom."\nTo which the other man replies:"Shut up dad, you're drunk."
865881
I was at the University of Michigan football stadium supporting my team, Michigan State University against UofM, all resplendent in green and white (MSU colors). At halftime, I went to get refreshments, and to beat the rush, jumped the rail and went down a muddy hill.\n\nI slipped and slid down that hill face-first becoming completely covered in mud, with hundreds of people laughing at me all the way down. Pretty darn embarrassing.
1002849
lol....GOOD ON THE SACK??\nthats a first..never heard that one before..but thanks for the laugh and the 2 points...and if your nice enough, another 10 points???
638481
lmao: laughing my a$$ off
542051
yes GOD HATE SUS\n\nA man goes to the Super Bowl but his tickets are for the upper tier. He spots an open seat on the 50-yard line and grabs it. \n\nThe guy sitting next to him says, “Actually, this seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first Super Bowl we haven’t been to together since we got married in 1967.” \n\n“I’m sorry to hear that,” says the first man. “Couldn’t you find a friend or relative to come with you?” \n\n“Nope,” replies the second guy. “Everyone’s at the funeral.”
811979
lol good one thats the best one ive heard today so far ive read your other jokes there lmfao keep them up
555676
yeah OK I have a great 2 jokes for you here but be prepared that they are somewhat well just wrong hehehe ok here we go! enjoy!\n\n#1- A mild-mannered man was tired of being bossed around by his wife,so he went to a psychiatrist,who told him he needed to build self-esteem and gave him a book on assertiveness.\n   After reading the book on the way him,he stormed into the house and declared, "I want you to know I am the man of the house,and my word is law."I want you to prepare me a gourmet meal tonight.THen after dinner,you are going to draw my bath so I can relax ,and when I'm finished with my bath,guess who is going to dress me and comb my hair?"\n           His wife responded, "THE FUNERAL DIRECTOR."\n\n#2-A husband is at home watching a football game when his wife interrupts, "Honey,could you fix the light in the hallway? It's been flickering for weeks now"He looks at her and says angrily, "Fix the light" NOw does it look like I have a G.E.O Logo printed on my forehead? I don't think so."\n   Well then,could you fix the fridge door? It won't close right". To which he replied, "Fix the fridge door? Does it look like I have WestingHouse written on my forehead? I don't think so"."Fine," She says "Then you could at least fix the steps to the front door? They're about to break".\n"I'm not a damn Carpenter and I don't want to fix the steps." "Does it look like I have Ace Hardware written on my forehead? I don't think so.I've had enough of you. I'm going to the bar!!"\n   So he goes to the bar and drinks for a couple of hours.\nHe starts to feel guilty about how he treated his wife,and decides to go home and help out.As he walks into the house he notices the steps are already fixed.As he enters the house,He sees the hall light is working,the fridge door is fixed.\n"Honey, How'd all this get fixed? She said, "Well, when you left I sat outside and cried.Just then a nice young man asked me what was wrong, and I told him.He offered to do all the repaires,and all I had to do was either go to bed with him or bake a cake."\nHe said, "So what kind of cake did you bake him?" She replied, "HELLOOOOO..... Do you see Betty Crocker written on my forehead?"\n\n#3- A very sexually active woman tells her plastic surgeon that she wants her vagina lips reduced in size because they were flapping in the breeze.Out of emabarrassment she insisted that the surgery be kept a secret and the surgeon agreed.\n  A wakening from the anesthesia after the surgery,she found three roses carefully placed beside her bed.Outraged,she immediately calls in the doctor. "I thought I asked you not to tell anyone about my operation!"\n   The surgeon told her he had carried out her wish for confidentiality and that the first rose was from him: "I felt sad because you went through this by yourself."\n   "The second rose is from my nurse.She assisted me in the surgery and empathized because she had had the same procedure done some time ago."\n   "And what about the third rose?" she asked.\n"Oh,that rose is from the man upstairs in the burn unit.He wanted to thank you for his new ears.
944849
Well here's one:\nI took care of this old man in the hospital. After he got his dinner tray he started tearing off little pieces of bread and threw them all over the floor.\nI asked him what he was doing and he said,  "I'm feeding my dogs, they gotta eat too"\nHAHAHAHA....sad, in a funny way, but true
414951
dirty joke\nwhite horse fell in mud
370888
good joke!!!!!!!!!!! but I like it.
965237
www.ahajokes.com/office_jokes.html