How many chuck norris jokes are there in the world?
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You'd better hope Chuck doesn't find out where you live!
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Top 30 Chuck Norris facts. \n\n1. Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried. \n\n2. When Chuck Norris plays Oregon Trail his family does not die from cholera or dysentery, but rather roundhouse kicks to the face. He also requires no wagon, since he carries the oxen, axels, and buffalo meat on his back. He always makes it to Oregon before you. \n\n3. Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother's womb. Shortly thereafter he grew a beard. \n\n4. Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull. \n\n5. Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement. \n\n6. Chuck Norris's girlfriend once asked him how much wood a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood. He then shouted, "HOW DARE YOU RHYME IN THE PRESENCE OF CHUCK NORRIS!" and ripped out her throat. Holding his girlfriend's bloody throat in his hand he bellowed, "Don't fuck with Chuck!" Two years and five months later he realized the irony of this statement and laughed so hard that anyone within a hundred mile radius of the blast went deaf. \n\n\nHope this helped.
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Chuck Norris would win. Chuck Norris always wins.
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http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/page3.html
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WTF?  Does this even need to be asked?  Chuck Norris created the universe with a roundhouse kick, I think he's more powerful than the stupid Terminator.
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Chuck Norris\nFrom Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia\nJump to: navigation, search\nChuck Norris.\nEnlarge\nChuck Norris.\n\nCarlos Ray Norris Jr., known as Chuck Norris, (born March 10, 1940), is a martial artist, an American action star, and Hollywood actor.\nContents\n[hide]\n\n    * 1 Biography\n          o 1.1 Beginnings\n          o 1.2 Rise to fame\n          o 1.3 Walker, Texas Ranger\n    * 2 Family\n    * 3 Recent years\n    * 4 Popular culture\n    * 5 Trivia\n    * 6 Filmography\n    * 7 Bibliography\n    * 8 Notes\n    * 9 External links\n\n[edit]\n\nBiography\n[edit]\n\nBeginnings\n\nA native of Ryan, Oklahoma, Norris has two younger brothers, Wieland and Aaron Norris, the latter of which is a Hollywood producer. Norris' Great Uncle is the American Novelist Frank Norris. Norris was born to an alcoholic Cherokee Indian father and Irish mother.[1] When Norris was ten, his parents divorced[2] and he later relocated to Prairie Village, Kansas and then Torrance, California with his mother and brothers.[3] Norris describes his childhood as downbeat. He was unathletic, shy, and scholastically mediocre. Kids would taunt his mixed ethnicity — wistfully he wanted to beat up his tormenters.[4]\n\nNorris finished high school and soon married his girlfriend, Diane Holechek. In 1958 Norris joined the United States Air Force as a Military Policeman and was sent to Osan Air Base South Korea. It was in South Korea that Norris acquired the nickname Chuck and began his training in Tang Soo Do, an interest that would segue into black belts in Tang Soo Do and Tae Kwon Do, both Korean martial arts, Shinto-Ryu Karate, and a brown belt in Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu; and the founding of the Chun Kuk Do ("Universal Way") form and the education association (United Fighting Arts Federation). When he returned to the states he continued to act as an MP at March Air Force Base California. Norris was discharged in August of 1962 without seeing combat. He worked for the Northrop corporation and opened a chain of karate schools, which the son of Steve McQueen attended.[5]\n[edit]\n\nRise to fame\nChuck Norris.\nEnlarge\nChuck Norris.\n\nIn 1968, Norris became Middleweight Karate champion (non-contact), a title he held for seven consecutive years.[6] In 1969, he won Karate's triple crown for the most tournament wins of the year, and the fighter of the year award by Black Belt magazine. It was also in 1969 that Norris made his acting debut, in the Dean Martin movie The Wrecking Crew.\n\nIn 1970, his younger brother Weiland was killed in Vietnam. Norris later dedicated his Missing in Action films to his brother's memory.\n\nAt a martial arts demonstration in Long Beach, Norris met the soon-to-be famous Bruce Lee. In 1972, he acted as Bruce Lee's nemesis in the movie Way of the Dragon, and in 1974, McQueen encouraged him to begin acting classes at the MGM Studio.\n\nNorris' first starring role was 1977's Breaker, Breaker!, and subsequent films such as The Octagon (1980), An Eye for an Eye (1981), and Lone Wolf McQuade proved his increasing box office bankability. In 1984, Norris starred in Missing in Action, the first of a series of POW rescue fantasies produced by Israeli cousins Menahem Golan and Yoram Globus and released under their Cannon Films banner. Also in that year, he was offered the part of the sensei of the villain dojo in the movie The Karate Kid, but declined the part. He reportedly did not want to take part in depicting martial artists in an unfavorable light. [7].\n\nOver the next four years, Norris became Cannon's most prominent star, appearing in eight films, including Code of Silence, The Delta Force, and Firewalker, in which he co-starred with Academy Award winner Louis Gossett, Jr.\n[edit]\n\nWalker, Texas Ranger\nChuck Norris as Texas Ranger Cordell Walker in Walker, Texas Ranger\nEnlarge\nChuck Norris as Texas Ranger Cordell Walker in Walker, Texas Ranger\n\nBy the close of the 1980s, Cannon Films
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Chuck Norris (Did you ever see his round house kick?)
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Norris is the object of an Internet phenomenon known as Chuck Norris Facts documenting and proclaiming fictional, often heroic feats and characteristics, which began to circulate in late 2005. The facts originated with celebrity Vin Diesel in the "Vin Diesel Fact Generator." This original Internet phenomenon caught on and the Chuck Norris Facts were created as a byproduct, often using the same facts featured in the Vin Diesel Fact Generator. The Chuck Norris Facts became wildly popular, moreso than the original Vin Diesel Fact Generator. Norris has written his own response to the parody on his website, stating that he does not feel offended by them, and finds some of them funny. He recently read 10 of them on a The Best Damn Sports Show, Period, and said that his favorite one is "They once tried to carve Chuck Norris's face into Mount Rushmore, but the granite wasn't hard enough for his beard"
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Chuck Norris\n\nContrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth. Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield.
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Guns don't kill people. Chuck Norris kills People. \n\nThere is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live. \n\nChuck Norris does not sleep. He waits. \n\nThe chief export of Chuck Norris is Pain. \n\nThere is no chin under Chuck Norris' Beard. There is only another fist. \n\nChuck Norris has two speeds. Walk, and Kill. \n\nThe leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart Disease 2. Chuck Norris 3. Cancer \n\nChuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean. \n\nCrop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie down. \n\nChuck Norris is ten feet tall, weighs two-tons, breathes fire, and could eat a hammer and take a shotgun blast standing.\n\nThe Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably.\n\nContrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth. Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield.\n\nMost people have 23 pairs of chromosomes. Chuck Norris has 72... and they're all poisonous.\n\nIf you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds 'til." After you ask, "Two seconds 'til what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.
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Because chuck norris was near by
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Chuck Norris; it's the unstoppable force vs. the unmoveable object.
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chuck norris references are sooo cool and hip. But I think you should try a little harder...really
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I haven't but my husband has....\nHe was taking a karate class in South Carolina and Chuck Norris was invited to the class as a guest instructor. Norris asked if anyone would care to step up and spar with him, and like THE DINGLE-BERRY DUMB-ASS he is, my husband, in a moment of sheer stupidity said he would. Well he goes up to Chuck Norris, they do they're bow and then Tony, my husband, kicks Chuck Norris right in the face. And before Tony had a chance to even realize what he'd done, Norris layed him out. And I mean LAYED HIM OUT!!!!! Tony said the last thing he remembers is seeing that big foot coming at him at what seemed like light speed and then looking up at the ceiling.\nTrue Story, no joke!\nIs my man not a big DUMB goof-ball or what?\nAnd what made it worse, when Tony returned back to the class, the next day, the instructor conned Tony into sparring with his 9 year old daughter and she wopped his butt, too!\nLMAO\nBut in his defense the little had been taking Karate since she was about 3 or 4 so, she was way more advanced than him, and in so many ways, lol!
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yes like chuck norris
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That is how Chuck Norris was created.
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bruce lee could wip chuck norris's ass