What would you do with a coworker who is always negative and bringing others around them down?
154666
I would say your boss already knows this coworker is negative.  Running to the boss only makes you look childish.  The reality is that we are powerless over how other people behave and this individual may just be a negative person period.  You nor your boss can change that.  Actually most of us will never really change unless we have some overwhelming and huge life experience or spiritural experience.  With all life problems we have 4 choices: "do nothing", "change it", "accept it", or "get out of it".  Since you are asking the question, I assume you are unwilling to "do nothing" and just grumble about your co-worker and be miserable.  Since you can not "change" your co-worker, you are left with "accept" them just as they are and practice kind tolerance, or "get out" and get a new job.  Your happiness is your responsiblity.  Oh and also, you can't help your co-workers either.  They have to decide which of the 4 options they want.
784147
When dealing with an envious co-worker, I kill them with kindness, and I'm not talking about lip service. You must be genuine when doing this for it to work. Obviously they have massive insecurities, and perceive you as some kind of threat. I would also suggest keeping ones personal, and professional life mum. In essence, do not give anyone a reason to hold you in contempt. The old saying is true, "keep your friends close, your enemies closer".
711539
through lucidity---if he is as you describe, he has hang ups...and in that case, all you have to do is expose your casual and regular personality...so that when he tries to put you down, say...you take it as if of no importance (effectively ignoring it and not caring)...this, as you will learn, pisses THEM off...because you expose their hang ups of trying to put others down...and their NEED and importance to do so...because inside they are insecure...\n\nif you just don't  care about it, and just do your job, as long as he does not disrespect you or make you do something that could be concidered disrespectful (in which case you should beat the shit out of him and quit your job)...you should just do your job to the best of you ability, and not give a shit or care about what he does...\n\nyou just go home and have fun with friends or co-workers--no biggy. \n\nIf he is "uncivilized" --I don't know what you would mean by that--I guess, in my case, I wouldn't  care---he's uncivilized, its apparent, its his problem--and most people will look down upon him for it, and laugh maybe if its really bad (say he farts a lot in public)-- there is nothing I can do--except educate him if he is willing so people don't laugh at him--otherwise, just don't care--\n\nsay, if he starts picking his nose or farts a lot, you don't have to 'tolerate' it...you just don't look or be near by him--end of story. \n\nif he is rude---just make it apparent that he is being rude and just do your job...\n\nwhat you have to realize, is not to let it get to you, imagine him as made of cardboard and electronics...he's a peice of crap--if he "subtly insults you" or pushes your buttons--you don't give a fuck--unless he goes to far, and then you make a point of demanding respect, in extreme cases ,this requires you to quit your job..\n\nOtherwise, don't be so 'finiky' I guess is the only advice I could give you.
897352
You can't demonize somebody . If they are not nice , just be glad you no longer work there . Find something else that makes you happy . Success is it's own reward . Forget about them . Are they really that important ?
902993
I always remind myself that I cannot change people, but I can change the way I react to them.\n\nLove and compassion and a good ear for listening.  People who are negative should be taken in small doses as they can really bring you down.\n\nLook for the good in people and you will surely find it.  Stay clear of any gossip.  Even listening to it is harmful.  Be willing to walk away and not participate.  Or inject something nice about the person people are gossiping about this will end the conversation.\n\npeace
136435
Oh my gosh, did you work at the same place I did?  Your story sounded exactly like the situation I had.  Management and supervisory positions had changed at my work and from then on, the nightmare began.  The witch who rose to power was a narcissitic, egotistical backstabber who made it so unbearable for everyone. She continuously found it amusing to berate, belittle and degrade each and every employee in the company by telling us that we were underworked and so grossly over-paid (we all made more $$$$ than her). Someone who is in the psychology field said that this supervisor's had low self-esteem issues (she weighs close to 300 lbs.)and it is satisfying to her to put others down in order to feel better about herself.  She can't control her weight so she tried to control others.  Unfortunately, confronting this supervisor only compounded to the problem, as she could not take constructive criticism from ANY employee...and talking to the owner of the company proved to be useless, as he always avoided any type of problem or confrontation issue.  Since I did not have an advocate or anyone I could really turn to, the stress of going to work every day was taking it's toll on my health.  For peace of mind and sanity, I gave them my two weeks notice but did not burn my bridges upon my resignation. It is a good idea to have something lined up to go to, especially if you need the income and medical benefits.  You really don't want to be at the mercy of your current employer when it comes to recommendations or verifications.  Good luck.....
997764
There are so many of us who eventually have to face this situation. You can not change other people or control how they act BUT you have all the power in the world to control how YOU act. Be professional and cordial because this will only work towards your benefit. This is your job. Don't let anyone ruin that for you. It may be difficult but you'll be a lot less irritated if you keep a reasonable distance and maintain short , professional interactions. And exhale afterwards and let it go. Don't hang on to the irritation after you're gone home. Leave the bad feelings behind. It will make going to work so much easier.
493706
There are 3 ways to handle a problem like this:\n\n1.  ignore it.  If it's minor, this might be the best option.  There are no consequences for ignoring, except the behavior may continue.\n\n2.  Speak up about it.  You have your choice of speaking directly to your coworker, or to your boss.  The risk of speaking to your coworker is they may become offended and the behavior escalate.  It's best to find a quiet time to speak to them.  If this doesn't work or you feel you can't confront them, speak to your boss.  If it's your boss causing the problem, speak to their supervisor.  I would do everything possible to resolve the situation without involving lawyers.  Using the law should be a last resort.\n\n3.  Quit and find another job.  Use this tactic if you can't resolve the situtation, or if you can find a better job.  Remember that you might want to use this position as a reference, so don't burn any bridges on the way.
936991
I agree that people are really too rude. I deal with the public at work, and people talk to me in ways they would never even talk to their worst enemies. I think a lot of it has to do with stress and frustration -- everyone thinks they're problem is the most important, most pressing in the world. And it is, to them. Just remember that no matter how rude other people are to you, the best thing you can do is dose them with kindness. Smile, speak softly and let them know that no matter what kind of crap they're dealing with, it's really not your fault.
727885
you should tell them you don't appreciate them disrespecting you and especially in front of people if you keep letting them do it there not going to stop. until you let them know how you feel .your just being too nice and that's OK but you have feelings too . tell them to treat you like they want to be treated ,they shouldn't threaten your job either that's not very professional .she could lose her job also  and start taking your lunch i would just do my job and go home you dont need friends like them .
955580
be the bigger person and say nothing, just deal with him. as u get older u will learn that in the workplace its basically the same , there will probably be somebody that u don't like but u have to deal with it, don't let him get the best of u and u will always come out the real winner
1086734
A poplular term used when discussing dimwit bosses is "manage your boss."  If you see her beginning to point in a direction you know to be incorrect, try playing the part of Devil's Advocate and pointing out some of the pitfalls in her way of thinking.  Another tactic is to think out loud, walking through the consequences of her decision step by step.  As long as you do this in a way that initially sounds like you are agreeing with her, you'll be fine.\n\nThe saving grace in your case is that "numerous people in the company seek advice from [you] and not her."  This indicates that they also know that your boss is clueless.  However, do not EVER tell anyone else that you actually think your boss is clueless!  Always cover your butt when taking about your boss.  Perhaps she's not been there as long as you, or she has a lot on her plate, or she's just not involved in the issues as much as your are.  Whatever the case may be, let everyone else pump up your reputation.  If your boss begins getting in hot water from her superiors, stay out of it as much as possible and just make sure your supporting co-workers are close at hand to support you as a replacement should that happy opportunity present itself.\n\nOh, and when things just get too frustrating, buy a stress ball.
66912
It all depends on your boss.  does he know that he is ineffectual?  If so, you can feed him ideas.  Use social engineering to help him on his way.  Having no backbone is a common trait in state jobs.  No one dares make any waves!!!  If they are kind to you, dont force them to be the wave maker.  You don't want them to stress about job security.  Read dilbert cartoons religiously.  Pay tithe to Scott Adams, for the ideas expressed by his cartoons will only help you on your journey.
540931
Too many people have no way of solving their problems and allow their insecurities to take over their lives. As such, they are not resourceful enough to actually improve their own lots. So, they tear down others under the mistaken impression that they're sharing their misery and thus ridding themselves of some. All they end up doing is improving their *relative* status with the person they just brought down. It's selfish and disgusting behavior, really, and they haven't improved themselves at face value, even though someone else has plunged into their depths, albeit temporarily.\n\nI've suffered this BS from classmates and co-workers quite a lot - for the most part, it's jealousy, plain and simple. Some people just can't accept that others do things differently and achieve the same ends, but if you do it more quickly, the negative people feel threatened because you're "showing them up." Then they'll go narc to the supervisors about how you aren't following pointless procedures just so you'll have to do what they do.....it's very petty and asinine how people can be.\n\nMy suggestion: blow off anyone who does this to you. As long as you're doing whatever works for you, and no one (you nor anyone else) is *truly* being hurt by your actions, then no one should have any gripes about it. If the only "problem" is that someone else looks bad because of what you do that looks good, then there's truly no problem, and the "offended" person needs to suck it up and improve himself/herself. Period.
425729
That's hard.  Hopefully, in time his own rude behavior will back-fire and he'll be reprimanded by his superiors.  Whenever he upsets you don't react- your being upset might be what he wants.  If he thinks his attitude won't work on you, maybe he'll stop.\n\nYou can always file a complaint with HR siting "hostile work environment" which is a legal term that makes companies freak out.  \n\nIf any of your customers complain to you about the way they were treated by him, tell them to put it in writing and give them your boss's name.  That will work wonders with the higher ups.\n\nHe's only 20- and has a lot to learn about managing people.  Do a good job and maybe you'll get promoted over him!
1051022
YES\nsometimes the people i work with can be so miserable.\nI love my job, i would just like to get rid of a few of my co-workers that are mean!
52012
Maybe he is on a powertrip but most likely he is just thoughtless. I have found more often than not that people aren't generally intentionally malicious but many are so self-absorbed that they fail to think about other people. \n\nI used to work under a bunch of (stressed out) guys and I can totally relate! This guy was really rude to do that and I think next time you should only work on it for 5 minutes and tell him (or leave a memo) that you will finish it the next (bus.) day because you have a [insert something important here] to attend to. \n\nI wouldn't confront this person if they are your supervisor. You will probably be emotional and that is not a good thing to bring into the workplace.