Does my ex just not want to pay me child support?
141171
If you do not have custody of your daughter, you need to do so.  I think it's great that he wants to see her.  It's very sad when a child has a father, and he wants nothing to do with her.  My son was one of those children.  His father would promise him that he would come to pick him up, but he never did.  It broke my heart to see this little guy waiting & waiting until he fell asleep, all the time telling me that his dad promised he'd come so he would.  Of course he never did.  His father never wanted anything to do with him.   Now he wants nothing to do with his dad.  That's understandable.  Think of your daughter and her feelings. If he is a good father, by all means let her spend time with him.  As long as you have custody he must pay you child support. Be happy for her that her father wants to see her.
759077
You and the ex need to set your issues aside and discuss how you are going to raise the son, putting his best interests first. He is playing you both, that's what kids do, even in homes with both parents. You have to decide on a course of action and stick with it, consistency is one of the most difficult things but shows the child you both mean business. Let your ex know that you're interested in his help, but he needs to stick to the plan. You need to support one another in this. I hope you are able to do this, or the son will continue to go back and forth until he's on his own. It won't create a stability within him - be responsible, not emotional and talk w/the ex. Hope it works out. You can do it!
857925
If he ever threatens you with bodily harm or anything, file for a restraining order or protective order.  Given his criminal history, it may be possible for him to only be allowed court supervised visitation of the child.  You were right to demand that he only see the child during the court oredered visitation.  Do not feel one bit guilty about that.  As for the money, if the child is old enough to listen to what he says, the child is old enough to listen to what you say as well.  Tell the child that the money is what he is required to pay for supporting his child and it is not stolen, but is his responsibility to pay so you can feed the child.  That is honest.  Don't bad-mouth the father to the child.  Just state the facts without emotion.  Kids are pretty smart and can put it together. :o)\n\nDo be careful.  You might consider making sure you have good locks on your home and keep it locked all the time to protect yourself.  The law is on your side, so stick to it.  Don't play his game.  I told my ex that I wasn't his wife anymore and didn't have to fight with him, but that he could contact my attorney and/or the state child support office.  They get paid to deal with him so I don't have to.  You don't have to fight with your ex either.\n\nIf he ever threatens you bodily in any way.... take legal action immediately.  Do not hesitate to call the police and file a protective order.  We all have heard the horror stories of what twisted men do to women they supposedly "loved" at some point.  Be careful and use wisdom.\n\nBest Wishes,\n\nSue
802331
Explain nothing to your son until you have sought advice from your attorney.\nHe is too little to understand what's going on and doesn't need to be but in the middle\nKids usually cope better in these situation then the adults do\nYour ex has never paid child support and would have to prove he his able to care for a child he doesn't even know let him spend the money with a lawyer to find out. Maybe when he knows he is responsible for all the back payments he might decide not to see the child
210744
As in you want to release someone from support obligations or you feel its' time you stopped paying child support?\n\nThe answer to your question is probably going to be "court order".\n\nIn any event I'd recommend contacting your county courthouse and requesting the information from an authority.\n\nBest of Luck,\nArmus
1183079
You could ask a child support attorney. If your father is such a deadbeat that he hasn't paid in all this time I doubt he'll pay now though. Your father is scum, be glad he isn't in your life if he isn't.
505191
I have been in almost the same situation. my bf got his ex gf pregnant while we were on a short break. I went back to him and now the child is almost 3. The ex is CRAZY, wont leave us alone. We have to pay 127 a WEEK in child support, which we cant afford and havent been able to pay the whole 127 a week so my now husband will be going to jail fairly soon. To make matters worse the ex had another son 6 months ago, 10 days before my daughter was born. and is now claiming it is my husbands. SO all I can say IS LEAVE HIM. It will never end. You will be alot more happier without him. ' YOU DONT WANT DRAMA WITH HIS BABIES MAMA'.
1134742
I would call child support enforcement and have them look into it..sounds fishy to me.
1009364
I most cases this depends on a few things ( the state you live in, your judge, age of your child, date of when he filed for vists) I know in Michigan the father is responable for all of this. My ex has to pay for everything when our son was born.
1177414
As a previous single mom of 2, I was in the same boat.  I am now remarried and had to deal with my current husband going thru that as well.  Unfortunatley, child support and vistation are 2 different things.  Ask yourself why his ex is refusing to let him see his daughter?  If there is a court order, he can call the police or take her back to court to prove that she is not abiding by the court order.  He can not just stop paying support cuz he doesnt get to see the daughter.  There may be a lot more to this than the surface shows.  Think carefully.  Is this the type of man you want to father your child? He should want to build a relationship with the daughter.  If not, he needs to go thru the legal system to sever his ties to the child, regardless how long it takes.   Good luck.
136684
Sounds like a dead beet Dad. I think that Texas is the worst in enforcing child support. Too many macho men. The court order will not help if the authority's do not enforce it. You need to call your District Attorney
861384
restaing order and she needs to think about getting a lawyer and a new court case to have him pay chidl support. but if he is only paying 13 bucks a month its not worth the trouble.  and besides if he doesnt pay child support he can't see the child. (at least thats the law in oklahoma) so restaing order and move on with life.
799614
If you don't want the drama go to your nearest family court and fill out papers to have child support court issued so he has to pay a certain amount a month or he'll get in trouble. If he doesn't have a job they will make him get a job. Your ex is an immature momma's boy and doesn't comprehend his 3 children have needs. As for yourself instead of your young family suffering go to the state for help food stamps,wic,and alittle cash each month can certainly help out until you can get the kids some child care and yourself a job.Don't rely on a man ( your not dealing with 1 anyway) you need to step up and take control of your situation. I am a single mother of 2 I know its hard as hell but as long as you keep trying to do what is best once you have the kids in daycare and your working you will feel so much better because your doing your part as best you can. Don't wait on him and his mom to help out do it yourself so you can say you did it. When the kids get older they will see who has been there for them fighting for the things they want and working her butt off for them. Tell them both to stick the $30 a week for food up their u know whats you'll see them in court and the courts will issue him to pay atleast $50 a week.Apologize for what? asking her son act like a man?It's just wrong for him to tell mommy what going on between you two it shows that he's not a man and can't handle things with out getting mommy involved.Mom should just stay out of it in the first place and tell her son he made the bed now he's gotta sleep in it or if he was a big boy when he laid down and had 3 babies he can be man enough to make his own decisions without involving his mommy like he's tattle tailing.I feel bad that your gonna have to deal with that boy for the rest of your life and his mommy cause she has already overstepped her bounds cause her son is a momma's boy you will be dealing with her for the rest of her life being in your business. Good Luck !!
710066
Get a job.  Your ex has a child or children to support.  How do you expect them to do it and why should they carry your responsibility for it as well?  GET A JOB!\n\n~  Spoken as the ex who is owed a lot of bucks and know how hard it is when a jerk doesn't pay what he owes.\n\nAre you my ex?  If you are, they are looking for you.....\n\nBest Wishes,\n\nSue
231368
They do and if the attorney you are using does not seem to be helping, fire that one and find another. Unfortunately it sounds like you never adopted. However, if you supported the child for seven years, you have a strong case for either reimbursement of expenses, which could be used as a weapon against the father to get her back. I know that sounds crappy but you may have to play dirty to get the best interests of the child met. Check your states judicial website, most states have them, and prepare for a lot of research and find what the laws are in your community. Most of it is pretty cut and dried. You can get visitation rights at the minimum, especially since she spent so much of her life with you. Start making phone calls and pleading your case for advice from folks who deal with thiese issues regularly, social services, free legal services from your county etc. Plan on being creative and doing a lot of soul searching. Best of luck to you and to her.
121866
I think if he has been ordered to pay child support some type of parternity must have been established.  He can go to court and stop you from moving out of state.  I would contact an attorney and talk them about this.  Good luck!
768221
Its very immature of your ex to take it out on the child.\n\nKids need to see their Dads.\n\nTry and sort it out, otherwise if he doesnt make contact then just let it be