why do I keep going back to the man that says he cares and loves me if he hits me ?
157151
Because you have very low self-esteem. Love does not hit, or use cruel words. Spend some time fulfilling yourself, learn to love yourself and others will love you too! And DO NOT, I REPEAT DO NOOOOOOOT! Allow anyone to put their hands on you in a way that is demeaning or unpleasant. Only you have the power to change this!  Oh and the next time he tries to hit you ask him if he remembers Lorraina Bobbit?
746401
There is NO EXCUSE for a husband who hits his wife.  No matter how much his mother upset him, he had no right to beat you.\n\nA typical wife-beater will go through phases.  He will beat you, then he will be very sorry and promise to make it up to you, and tell you how wonderful you are.  You'll forgive him and decide to stick by him, then just when you think everything is wonderful, he'll start beating you again.   Until you start threatening to leave, then he'll start making up to you again.\n\nIf this describes what has been happening to you, then I'm sorry, but he is never likely to change.  He is only being nice to you, to stop you leaving him.  Once he thinks you have relaxed and given up the idea of leaving, he will go back to his old ways.\n\nOn the other hand, if this doesn't describe his behaviour, then perhaps he really is genuine.  Be patient with yourself, as it's unlikely you will rediscover your desire for him until you've rediscovered your trust in him.  A marriage counsellor does sound like a good idea.
289700
He loves you, yet he still cheated on you? I would hate to think what he would do if he hated you. WAKE UP!!! if he did it to you once he is going to do it to you again. You need to leave now and find someone who will respect you, before you get hurt again.
24449
My advice to you is MOVE ON! Because if he didn't stop you before you closed the door he meant every word he said. You can't keep a man that don't want to be kept. It's always hard to love someone who can't love you back, but life goes on. Yes you will hurt, you're probably cry everyday but in due time you will heal and will be able to find your soul mate. Never settle for anything, always believe that TOMMOROW IS ANOTHER DAY! Let go and Let God!
396190
you are not defined by this guy.  You are just as special today as you were before he came along.  Do you really want him to call you and apologize?  If you let him get back with you then you are saying that you are not important enough to stand up for yourself.  Plus, there will be a new guy very soon, maybe the man of your dreams, do you want to be crying for this loser when the next one comes along?  \nYou are special, and he doesnt deserve to hurt you again.
191849
READ THIS NOW AND BELIEVE IT LATER, LOVE HAS NOTHING THATS NOTHING TO DO WITH BEATING OR MISTREATINGS. The I Love You is bull, it's just bait for a beating.If he beat you before he will do it again and again and again. RUN get away form the guy you are just a target.
333139
Sounds like he is just coming back for some action because he hasn't got anything better going on at the time.\n\nThe thing about most men is that they will take it wherever they can get it.  And the more you forgive them and keep taking them back, the more they will think they can get away with.\n\nThe more often you let him come back, the more strongly he will believe that you will always be around whenever he feels like coming back to you.  If he really felt anything for you, he would stay.  You need to tell him no, or he will continue to use you like a yo-yo.\n\nForget about him and find someone who will be there for you all the time, not just when it is convenient for him.
953473
It sounds like you have a guy who loves you dearly and is naturally scared of hurting you. I honestly don't think he would feel like you are afraid of him - if you have talked about what happened, and he is being there for you the way you say he is, then he is simply trying to be there for you in the best way he can, and worries when he's not sure how he can help more.\n\nYou've picked well - don't let this one go :)
1128883
A lot has to do with your own self-esteem (how do you feel about yourself and what will you allow another person to do to you). You've been married to him for 10 yrs so something has kept you staying with him for so long (maybe love and/or kids or he's a good provider)....however sometimes people do grow apart and it's time to make a new beginning for yourself even if he's been apologizing after physically and emotionally abusing you --- you see, his inappropriate actions tell you all that you need to know...there truly is someone else out there who'll treat you better --- so improve your looks and attitude and go find him.
624740
It could mean that, or it could mean that he was standing up to you b/c no woman should be hit by any man.  Those who hit women are just trying to boost their ego.  And your ex knows it.  He was setting him straight.
1007554
move on. it's hard to make a relationship work especially when they're back and forth like that. if he thinks he'll hurt u, then he will. he'll think it's alright, cause you'll come back to him n-e-ways. find someone that'll b good to u!
406642
He has lowered his standards because he has lost a woman of your caliber. He knows he can't hold on to a woman as good as you. Maybe he will see the error of his ways and come crawling back and it will be your turn to make him feel bad. He is still trying to hurt you and he needed a comparison between you and his new bimbo. You are better than that and you know it. So does he. Stay strong lady. There is someone out there who will treat you right and love you for who and what you are. You don't need him and the pain he causes.
672288
You sound as if you are having man problems.  No man can destroy you unless you were not so great before him anyway.  Break up with him and work on liking then loving yourself.
104035
No way, it isn't worth the risk.  Once a guy hits you he has crossed a line.  If you take him back you will just be telling him that it was ok for him to do that because you will eventually forgive him.
1056889
Men usually hit women when they are angry. Men are not good at expressing their feelings. Oftentimes a physical reaction is the inappropriate means they use. Men who hit will continue to hit without some kind of counseling. Don't wait too long usually during their remorse they offer to do anything. It is the perfect time to offer an ultimatum. Get help or get out! Don't let your guard down though just because he says yes he will. If he stops the counseling before completing it; he will continue to hit. Be very careful and I recommend professional services for both of you. I would be happy to guide you to services. You are right you don't deserve being hit. He has no right and it is extremely inappropriate behavior.
903385
I have no sympathy for them...I have been on so many domestic violence calls that i wonder why people stay myself...I kept hearing "but i love him, he really does care"  BS the only thing he cares about is whipping your assets...By staying and forgiving them it basically tell them its OK to beat me, I'll get over it and forgive you...Someone hit me, they better have their funeral plans in order....
937315
Its only one of 2 things at that point.....either they  care about you or they are trying to torture you.  Personally I would not answer because if you were the one who got hurt, then you are opening up old wounds.   live in the present and forget the past.