What should be the minimum period a couple should think of Kids after marriage?
152940
Work on the relationship and the Kids will be a natural part of the process. Set some goals. and Discuss what is going to happen to both of you once the wife becomes pregnant. \nI say this because most divorces and affairs that lead to divorce start when the couple learns they are expecting the first child. \nThe wife is showered in affection during this time, but the husband is usually told stories that put fear into his soul. MEn during this time are emotionally overwhelmed, and rarely have any support to fall back on. This is usually when the seeds for the affair are planted. \nAfter the birth the affection is transfered to the child. The wife will probably enter into post pardum depression. ( normal and treatable) AND avoidable if addressed before it happens. If PPD happens though she normall emotionall detaches from her husband leaving him exposed. If another female begins showing him appreciation. this would be the first step in the cycle leading to the affair. \nThe sad fact is this whole cycle is avoidable if the couple can learn good healthy communication skills, AND be willing to work on them each and every week. and day. \nit's in the absence of communication that doubt sets in and things begin to slowly degrade from there. \n\nA husband and wife have 5 basic needs in a marriage. \nDo you know each others 5 basic "needs"?\nIf not then you need to learn them FIRST!\nYou need to discuss how much time you will spend working on the relationship during the child birth. How to include your husband in the process. so his emotional needs can be met, and how to support the wife after child birth to avoid post pardum depression. During all this time. you need to constantly work on the 5 basic "NEEDS" \n\nI highly recommend you read the following books as a couple first. Then when you have the stability and KNOW what is comming then work on bringing a child into this beautiful world. \n\nThe 5 love languages is the first one I would suggest. \nas well as His Needs, Her Needs. \n\nThe other can be read as time allows. \n\nMay God's Blessing be with your family.
858867
Maybe consider putting off the wedding then? I think that couples should be married at least a year before they start thinking about children because couples change once they are married and you want to make sure it is going to last. Most divorces/separations happen in the 1st year, so you need to sit him down and make him understand you want to wait a little while. If he doesn't then maybe he isnt the one you should be marrying!!
794124
Marraige is what you make of it. Committment from both people is required to make it work. You should be allowed to do anything you want (within reason) once you get married.  Try not to have children until after you are 28, or they will be born ugly.
802218
Ideally children should be born in marriage but marriage does not guarantee a perfect home or perfect children nor does a child out of wedlock mean that the child is condemned to a life of misery. I know some married couples that have more trouble in their home and relationships than some unmarried couples that just shack up. My sister and her boyfriend were together 15 years before he passed away and they had 4 children and never married and her children never knew they were not legally married. Then I see people who get married and have kids and divorce 4 or 5 years later. The most important thing is that a child has a HAPPY home.
420587
The only good point I can think of is that by the time you're 30 any children will be well on the way to being raised.  \n\nI married at age 17 and had 2 sisters who married at 14, 1 married at 15 and 1 married at 16. I divorced after 19 years of marriage and have not remarried.  All of my younger sisters have been married 3-4 times and none of their original marriages lasted more than 6 years.  One was actually trying to get a divorce after only being married 1 month!  She had only know him a few months and it turned out that he was an abuser. The older you are, the more mature and able to handle the frustrations of married life you will be.
217019
That is almost as bad as teenagers having babies. Teenagers don't have the life experience to understand what marriage means. Teenagers should be concerned about having fun. At 18 they can start to worry about grown up problems. STAY A KID AS LONG AS YOU CAN!!!
223320
It's not worth staying in a bad marriage because of kids. Most of the time it does more harm to them than good. When old enough just explain that sometimes 2 people can't live together...K
1058689
The effect on the kids depends on how they are? Marriage without love is not good at all.  But most of the time couples just stay in that marriage w/out love it's because they're afraid that it will make things complicated for them if they split up especially financially.  A person should have the courage to say "Listen I love our kids so much and I will still be there for them but I cannot take this anymore and I wanna move on with my life and we'll just talk about how we're gonna make this easy for our kids sake."  Or else if you continue to stay with this person, you will continue disrespecting this person and continue hurting the feelings of your kids.  It's not gonna be healthy for them to live a life in the same roof with these couples that just gives them a bad sample of what a good loving family should be.  This marriage is not gonna last forever for sure, most of them wait till the kids are grown up.
705894
There is no definite time to get married - i was with partner for four years before we got engaged and another four years before we got married.  Bring the subject of marriage up and see how the conversation goes.  If you both decide not to get married, you should definitely make a Will each to ensure the other is taken care of should anything happen.  Not being morbid, but unfortunately people often miss out on taking care of their partner due to not being married and making their wishes clear.
1114159
1. Your children as they grow into young adults(19-25 years old).\n2. Your spouse, as you two hold each other up during your later years.
1138896
I would pick QUALITY over QUANTITY anyday!!! But since you asked about quantity, it varies from week to week depending on what life decides to throw at us. WE have been married for 5 years and have 7 kids. We average 3-4 times a week...some weeks its everyday..and some weeks its once.
821800
I agree with "thinking ahead."  And I think you would agree that you've not known each other long enough to get past the "in love" infatuation stage to make the life-long commitment that being parents brings, to say nothing of whether you will get/remain married.\n\nThis is obviously an important issue to discuss, but wait to see if marriage and children emerge out of a strong, loving committed relationship rather than using the relationship to (perhaps) aritifically create a marriage and family that will not last but the responsibilities and consequences of which will be with you for the rest of you life.\n\np.s. You are not selfish for not being sure of wanting to be a parent at this time in your life.  There are more parents who should not be than non-parents who should be! :-)
933321
Oh how I can relate!  My husband is 32 and I am 23.  We have been together since I was 16 years old.  We are now married with 3 beautiful children and after almost 8 years are great.  I think it depends on the maturity of both couples.  I think people have a predestined idea that age is so important.  I am sorry but I have seen people who are 25 not be able to handle having a baby while an 19 year old can, my point, maturity.  If you are able to willingly work on your relationship then there is no reason why you cannot make it last.  You also need to believe in yourself and make sure you know what you want.  It is your decision and your's alone and no one can tell you what is best for you but you.
1077344
there are a lot of factors involved before a couple should think about setting a date before marrying. For one very big thing talk everything and I mean EVERYTHING out before you decide on a date to marry. What you expect of him/her and what she/he expects of you. What do you expect in the marriage, what kind of marriage, open or closed, and anything else you can think of over a period of time.\n\nI think one of the biggest mistakes I made was marrying a woman two months to the day after we met. we did not know one another at all. It was a terrible marriage, one I wouldn't have my worst enemy get into. I am not saying that all fast marriages end in divorce but the chances are greater they will.\n\nMy current wife and I lived together for over six months before we married and during that time I told her what I expected and wanted and she did the same. We covered everything from where to live to sex and back again several times. we have a wonderful marriage now and we are very happy.\n\nSo how soon should you get married...there are many factors but be sure you are marrying for love and not lust. Take your time and be sure, break-ups are hard but not nearly as hard as divorce. Wait until you are both ready and satisfied with what you both agree upon and want to share in your lives together and apart.
211636
I like 25. Although I got married a little earlier (6 years ago) I think that 25 lets you enjoy your youth but you're not too old to enjoy some of it with a partner. You can finish uni but you can still wait a little while before having kids. The percentage of birth problems goes up after 30 so I figure that gives you five years together to build a life, travel together etc... and then you can have kids. If you don't want kids then I guess it doesn't matter so much.
218381
DEPENDS ON HOW YOUNG.  OF COURSE A BABY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON.  MY DAUGHTER WAS 3, SHE DID GREAT!  MUCH BETTER THAN I DID.  IF THEY ARE SCHOOL AGE I THINK IT'S EVEN EASIER BECAUSE SO MANY OF THEIR FRIENDS ARE FROM BROKEN MARRAGES, WHICH IS A SHAME IF YOU THINK ABOUT IT.  I PERSONALLY BELIEVE IN STAYING MARRIED BUT THAT'S IN A PERFECT WORLK AND AS YOU KNOW THIS IS NOT WHAT WE LIVE IN.
469060
No, I don't think marriage is too long.  Marriage changes as the years go by.  At first, it's sex then children then sex again.  By the time you have raised your children marriage moves into this really great sweet friendship with someone who knows you completely.  The sex gets better as well.  To me it just keeps getting better and better.  The kind of intimacy that comes with marriage is so precious, and the longer you are married the greater that intimacy grows.  I don't know why anyone would want to start over with a new spouse.