where can i find information on how to deal with a spouse that lies?
147041
If your spouse is lying to you, there is obviouisly a problem. If the lies are taking this much of a toll on your marriage consider possibly getting marriage counsling. Is there a reason they feel they need to lie. Are they hiding somethin. Communicate, tell him or her this is unacceptable in your book,and you will not stand for it. If you do tell them that stand your ground. A liar is as bad as a cheater.
1083610
Great topic!\n\nI am amazed that there are so many adults who do not consider some of the things they say or do not say, as a lie. For instance: sometimes people make up stories and tell it for fun. It may be a hunting story, fishing story, etc. This is done as a fantasy. The important thing to remember is that if you tell the story...you and the others must identify it is not really true....or it is a lie. Another example of a lie people do not always admit as lying is...when someone states something they think is true and then discover later that it is not true. The person really should then rectify the situation and admit they said something and found out it was not the truth. When a purposeful untruth is told, it is an outright lie. It is meant to deceive. This leads to disappointing others, others never really belive you and they eventually stop trusting you.  Then the time may come and you may be telling the truth...but too late...others don't believe you even when you do tell the truth. Some people actually believe that the only way a lie is told is in that manner. Not true! You can lie with your actions. You may cause a person to believe something not true by acting a certain way. (Example; child breaks a vase and throws it out and pretends not to know anything about it.) A lie can be done by being silent. You may cause someone to believe something by saying nothing. (Example: a mother asks the children who broke a window, and all the children know, but no-one tellls anything).The cycle of lying usually continues when one lies. The next thing one knows is they lie to cover another lie and so on. Most intelligent people, know when someone is lying to them. It doesn't change anything...except the credibility of the one who lies. Another form of lying is not telling a complete truth. Any form of not telling a complete truth or an admission of a complete truth in words or actions is a lie. \nI honestly do not intentionally lie. However, about two weeks ago we had company and this person asked me something and I did not want to go into it so I lied. When the company left. my husband said to me ..."why did you lie?" I reallly had to stop and think about it. I am a woman of value. I work hard to practice what I believe in. I am an honest person. I try hard to use tact and not lie. I usually would reply to someone who asked a personal question that I did not feel like answering with something like...why do you ask? I usually try to find an answer that will not offend the other person, but will also allow me to keep my personal life personal without lying. Sometimes, I like everyone find myself in a place I don't like to be. I feel dirty or shamed when I do that. Long story short...I felt guilty and called the person up and explained it. No one is perfect. There is not a sole alive who has not told a lie at one time or another. I can honestly say I do not lie on a daily basis, but sometimes I do find myself bordering the ethical line. I want people to trust me, I strive to be honest and keep integrity....but it is a daily struggle to be in tune with complete and open honesty!
388104
well, sorry to tell you this but it's all depends on your partner..but here's what yOu can do. First of all never starts anything with lies. no matter how hard it seems, no matter how bad they'll hate you after, dont lie. say anything you want to say, say everything you have to say, and never try to make things better with saying, "it's not you, it's just me..." and other self-blame-cliche-excuses...and let them know that you still want to have a good relationship with them cuz no matter what they still a part of you right? but then again, you have to respect their decision if they refuse you at first cuz it's really tough to accept the fact that you cannot be with someone that you really care...am i making a point? dont think bout it too much..time heals..
239761
Tough one, need to contact an attorney.  She seriously has some issues.  I would think she's bluffing about the whole thing if she will not provide proof.  \n  She must not be over your hubby or is a drama queen.  Don't think you can charge someone criminally for lying, too bad.  You may have some civil action, possibly.\nGood luck.
427679
Is there good reason not to trust your wife?  Or are past relationships clouding your vision?  If you have good reason, confront her, it's never good to just let things lie.  Life is too short to be with someone who doesn't respect you enough to tell you the truth.  However, if you're just being insecure for whatever reason, with nothing to back those feelings up, maybe you need to look inside yourself.
772792
just ignore it, cuz im sure she lied about other stuff too, once a liar always a liar, deal with it
724933
Maybe you can talk to him and try and get him to tell you what he did without telling him what you did.For example: tell him you did something and it's really bothering you...He'll most likely say what...Tell him I rather not say..Say I don't know have you ever done something wrong and wish you didn't.If he says no keep the questions going..Like you never done anything you regreted or you never done anything your ashamed of.If he tells you then tell him your feelings on the matter. And make him promise he'll never do it again...Tell him he can go to jail.He'll most likely want to hear what your problem is and make up something say you lied to a friend and you want to be an honest friend one who is trust worthy.Technically it's true because your not coming out and telling him the truth about what you found out
22115
There is something to be said for an emotional affair, so even just talking, if you talk about things with this guy that you don't share with your husband, then you are having and affair, breaking your vows, and in my opinion are at least AS abusive as you claim he is.\n\nYes, affairs are abuse.  The lying to your spouse is a form of crazy-making, an emotional abuse tactic.\n\nIf you have sought pro-marriage counselling, have brought your husband before the church where you were married or some other body and he refuses to do what they recommend to fix his part of the marriage, then divorce him before you begin even a close friendship with another man.\n\nAffairs are abuse, plain and simple.  If your husband were here, I'd tell him to stop his abuse as well, but he's not, so I'm asking you to stop your abusive behavior.
1015397
there is nothing u can do but try to catch them out in the lie, a compulsive lier doesnt just stop they have to go thro years of therapy
1006725
Learn how to spread a lie..
516860
no, never... lying to your spouse will only lead to more lies and more mistrust between you and your spouse !! it about like oil and water, they don't mix......if you have to lie then something is wrong with you and your not in a trusting and happy marriage !!
994698
The best scenario is to talk to his ex in person one-on-one.  If she is a slut she will lie, if she wants a relationship then she won't.\n\nFamilies will not take your side, they will do what is in their children's best interest.  So don't take anything they say as the truth.\n\nI hate to say this, but you gotta play the game. If you really love him, you have to do everything you can to save the relationship.
868446
First of all, assets are to be found in the discovery process of the divorce law suit.  Secondly, he could lie about assets and their whereabouts.  Thirdly, if you have a GREAT attorney, he/she could point out the disappearing assets to the Judge based upon the documents YOU provide.  Last, if the spouse has lied during discovery process he could be held accountable.  You have to be prepared for the battle of a life time and give up the money to your attorney.  Where there are assets there is paperwork.  \n\nGood Luck and Take Care
796520
The dishonesty will ruin your life.  You need to make a decision.  Your husband deserves to be with a woman who will honor him, and you can't lead a happy, healthy life with this type of deception.  Make up your mind who you want to be with, and commit to them.  Alternatively, you can choose to be single and see as many guys as you want.  It's up to you - just live with integrity so no one will be hurt.  I would also encourage you to seek counseling to figure out why you would set up such a destructive situation in your life.  You know that only bad can come of this, for all concerned.  You also need to protect the innocent party here - which is your husband.  If you feel the need for confession to ease your guilt, go to a clergyperson.  Do not hurt your husband, just to ease your mind.  I know you are going to do the right thing.  I can tell from your post.  We've all made mistakes in life.  The key is to recognize our mistakes, correct them, move on, and don't repeat them.\nGood luck and a big hug,\n-Ginger
1139540
the most concise guide to lies, deception, and mistakes of logic in loose change:\nhttp://www.ccdominoes.com/lc/LooseChangeGuide.html\n\n\nNow try and give me a good argument, or shut the hell up.
98185
If you have some way of "proving" his deceit, engage him in conversation and see how deep he'll dig his hole before you confront him.  This is best done in a group, or at least with someone else around.  Sometimes you can teach someone like that a lesson, or at least let his peers know of his true colors.
456531
Unfortunately, I don't think you can stop him.  My wife has bi-polar mood disorder and when she is at her worst she will lie beyond belief.  When confronted she sticks to the story and demands proof.  Even when confronted with the facts and proof she either sticks to her story or tries to twist the facts to fit her situation.\n\nAs I said, I know she has a mental condition and I understand sometimes that affects it.  However, I have found out that very fortuantely we can't do much about liers.  Instead, either learn to live with it, work around it, or move on.