Iam head over heels for a co-worker and I know it is wrong!?
141576
I've started and deleted this a couple times and thought about what to say to you, but am having a hard time.\n\nI can't map in for some reason, so I apologize if my response is a scatterbrained collection of thoughts.\n\nOn one hand I hesitate because you don't want to be his 'mom'.....coming to rescue him.\n\n1st....he may not feel good about being rescued by a woman. I'm not taking a shot at you or anything....I happen to be open to someone helping me if I need it, but I don't think (most?) men warm up to that......unless they are insecure, and then you don't get a man for your partner, you get an adult momma's boy.\n\n2nd....he may not like a woman coming on to strong. He may regard your advances as just that, and regard it as another element to deal with.\n\nIf you've offered coffee, and other such things and have been turned down....that's male communication for.....'thank you, but not now'.\n\n3rd He may have an ego......one that may preclude him from admitting to himself that he needs help at all.\n\n:)\n\nMen like to tackle things completely (most of the time I think) and then move on to the next issue to deal with. It's possible that you are on the 'list'...so-to-speak. I'm sorry for making you sound like a line item. I don't think that, but for brevity I phrased it that way...and to help illustrate what I'm saying.\n\nIt's also likely that whatever he's going thru is deeper than you realize and it requires all his attention. Men (most) are somewhat single-minded and throw a lot of attention on one problem at a time, depending on what it is. This could be one of those situations.\n\nHe may regard the starting of a relationship...even a new friendship right now to be a taxing endeavor that he just doesn't want to deal with.\n\nI'd say that if you've made the offers.....then take stock in that......he knows.....he knows you're there. Don't be pushy.....we men really, really don't like that. I can speak for myself on that one....lol.\n\nDon't keep asking him for coffee....he'll just think you're a pain or think you have stock in Juan Valdez (geeze is he still around?) or something....lol.\n\nThe best thing to do is be a friend. Don't be a pain, don't be annoying and just hang.....being helpful to HIM won't be your idea of 'helpful'. And if you want to ingratiate yourself to him...you will have to figure out how you can be helpful to HIM. Do you know what I mean? That may just be being an ear for him if he wants to talk, sending him some jokes on the internet.....whatever.\n\nDon't be selfish with what you want.....do what is best for him right now.\n\nHope that helps....a little anyway. I hope it works out.....send me a wedding invitation....k?\n\n;)
694936
i think you did the right thing- but i feel you may be letting people take advantage of you- should he be mad?  whats that about? why worry about that? he should be reported to the manager, when EVERYONE works together as a team things get done alot faster and they are alot more happier and people would really enjoy and love going to their jobs.  really life is to short, people now days need to love each other just as they would want to be loved and treated.
763100
Be frank with them and tell them to grow up! Tell them that you are an adult and can speak to whom ever you please. Let them know that they are also putting unneeded stress on you at work and that is not fair to you.\nThe problem they have are between the two of them and they need to quit bringing you in the middle of it. Tell them you aren't going to stand for it any longer...end of discussion.\nIf necessary, go to management about it. If they get upset about it, tell them that you didn't know what else to do and that you deserve to come to work without having to deal with their crap.
1088178
Try going out for a friendly lunch or after hours meeting and discuss your feelings or simply to get away from the prying eyes of your co-workers. See if there is an attraction or if nothing can come of it, for whatever reason, accept that and move on. Agree to remain friends without the unnecessary tension.
1053152
I work in Human Resources and we had this problem about a month ago. I always say - We can't see everything that goes on at work so our employees are our eyes and ears.\n\nI say report this information to the boss because if your co-worker is not being reasonable across the board and she is showing favoritism towards this other person. Your boss needs to know. \nAlso, I would read up on your employee handbook, make sure your employer has something stating they have anti-retaliation guidelines, that way if you do report anybody it can't hurt your job.
743492
If this is his first job, your co-worker is probably very insecure about his job performance and sees your offers to help as your letting him know that you are much better at the job than he is.  It is hard to sit by and let someone make mistakes when you know how to avoid them, but you need to let him do his own work and sink or swim.  If you feel the need to offer help, let him know that you are available to help if he needs it, and then leave it at that.  He will need to develop some confidence in himself in order to ask for your help.  Let him do that on him own.
1149815
only you can make the changes that you desire in your life...everyone is special and so are you..Open up to others(your co-workers, etc.) and you will probably find some responding back to you with sincere compatibility and friendship...make one little step with one person and then another. good luck to you. Life is meant to be lived with others. Enjoy your life and enjoy the company of others. PEACE
784147
When dealing with an envious co-worker, I kill them with kindness, and I'm not talking about lip service. You must be genuine when doing this for it to work. Obviously they have massive insecurities, and perceive you as some kind of threat. I would also suggest keeping ones personal, and professional life mum. In essence, do not give anyone a reason to hold you in contempt. The old saying is true, "keep your friends close, your enemies closer".
693512
hi, i really empathise with u....this person is an almighty BITCH!!!  \npeople who act like this are usually insecure and covering up for their ignorance....she's older ? and loves to put on a show of competence, but in reality, she probably knows less than you!...i've been there too.  but i was able to sack the bitch!  in your position, i would be talking to your manager about this matter and i truly think u have the upper hand....stay cool and good luck!
983295
dont ask her that will seem weird ask someone else who you work with
848813
It's not your place to do anything unless you're her supervisor, or in the Human Resources Department.  If so, refer her to the dress code.  If you don't have a dress code, you better get one.  You just have to be fair about enforcing it.  You said she's a  colleague, though, so it sounds like it's not your business, unless you think it's important enough to discuss it with your boss or H/R....and assuming you know there's a dress code violation.... \n\nIf she finds out that you ratted her out, you could make an enemy, so you might want to think about that.
914673
That co-worker is trying to kiss butt to look so good... However, if the manager, or supervisor should notice this, the fact that he/she con't even offer any bit of assistance makes him/her look pretty bad on record...  If that supervisor does not keep note of such actions, then he/she is as biased as the coworker. \nBut your supervisor is in fact neutral, as he/she should be, you should go have a talk with him/her, or even file a complaint against the co-worker and state it as negligeant and unprofessional, Would rather show some bad attitude, than to upkeep a positive working atmosphere, and what more to make that this co-worker is going out of his/her way to hold things against you...  The fact that he/she is breathing down your collar in hopes of finding any flaw you'll do, you can get away with filing for harrassement and, in fact you can say that whatever mistakes held against you are the result of him/her attempting to intimidate you, and whatever threats that are being waved in your face by this individual.\n\nCheers!
197786
It sounds like you've spent enough time trying to figure out if something can happen or not.\nSo I'd leave it and be open to something new.  If you're going to do that make sure you either tell him not to touch/hug you any more or you make it clear that you just want to be friends/work colleagues and nothing more.  Don't give out mixed messages and he'll get the point - he may be as confused by your actions, but you don't say what you do when he is 'all over you'.\nIf after this he says he does want to be with you seriously, maybe give ahim acouple of weeks to prove it by acting like an adult, otherwise forget it.  He sounds a bit childish, but his actions may also be affected by your own.\n\nGood luck!!
774294
GET OUT NOW!!\n\nYou don't owe this person ANYTHING!!\n\nFor a boss to say it's a 'personality clash' is diabolical!!\n\nWhat kind of management style is that? S**t - that's what!!\n\nYou SO deserve better.\n\nGO RIGHT THIS MINUTE AND DON'T LOOK BACK!
1070426
well first off...there's no such thing called a polite way...you don't have to worry about that...as long as you are clearing a point that is making you UNCOMFORTABLE then it's totally OK...cause in the end you don't wanna have to deal with the same thing that is bothering you each day at work...right!!!\n\ntell her what you just wrote to us..."that you don't feel it's appropriate to discuss these matters with her"...see, I'm quoting you! there's nothing wrong with that...cause you are totally right..cause it is none of your business...you can tell her that you really feel uncomfortable and that you know she's a great person and that she would understand!\n\nbelieve me it might not be a big deal as it seems :) you are not being not nice...you are being diplomatic!
10463
yeah, i do! and she is wonderful.. now it's a parttime job you don't like? absolutely...why not? but it will make work a little odd-and good... be careful ,if the relationship goes bad it can mean drama at work... no peace...
775730
This will wear and tear on your esteem dear. If you feel that he's totally wrong and out of order, then you must let him know asap. Put a halt to this nonsense and start from there...you probably don't want to live your life like this for ever.