I have to pretend that it is my mom's last day living to get along with her?
142575
it's not bad.  And it depends on your age and dependency.  If you are still living home and going through the time of independence (teenage and early 20s) then you are growing away from her and more independent.  Once you're past that and able to accept her, and she accept you, for being a separate, independent person, things will get better.
412093
You seriously need to make some serious changes. You have to create boundaries. It sounds like the requests you have made are falling on deaf hears. It seems to me you are trying to make everyone happy except yourself. Tell them if you are going to live in my house these are the rules if they don't like them they can leave. When your mom came back you could of asked her why are you here? When she said why do i have to tell them to pay the electric bill, it was because she is the one who invited them to stay. The things you are going to have to do will be uncomfortable. Your family will not like the new assertive you. Your mom is dependent on you and you are her co dependent. When she threatened you by saying she was going to leave and you said fine go ahead she was testing you. She did leave but she came back and you let her stay. So now what you say and what she says and your actions don't match. It's like when a parent tells his child no but then lets them have what they want. You have to back up what you say with actions and stick to them. You have fallen into the role of parent. You are not the parent you are the child but now your mom is acting like the child and now you are her parent. I think she should help you more. Do you want your brothers there? You did nothing wrong what i think you possibly feel is guilt because it is your mother and you feel obligated but your not obligated. No one should be taken advantage of.
152606
If you really want to get along with her, try showing her the same respect you'd like to receive from her.\n\nIf you are trying to get on her good side, just to get over on her, you are just going to make it harder for her to trust your sincerity later on. \n\nHave you thought how this is affecting your dad. He loves you and his wife. What's he supposed to do stuck in the middle.
826443
Sounds like you are a typical Mother -- the FORGOTTEN ONE -- who is only talked to when you are acting the servant role for these SELFISH individuals who don't care one wit about any special days.\n\nSo the best way to deal with this (instead of pity party) --\n\nTake your SELF out for a special treat or time -- AWAY from the selfish ones and do some THING for yourself -- and no one else.  Buy yourself a new outfit, go to a concert, take a walk, but CLEARLY Tell them it's your Birthday and YOU need a break from being the HOUSE SLAVE or DRUDGE -- \n\nand JUST enjoy the time to your SELF at this point.  The young one who moved out is in the SELFISH ME FIRST stage of life right now -- and won't remember you at this point in time.  The Husband is taking you for granted.  The 12 yr old is wrapped up in school activities and peer pressure -- and MOM doesn't make the cut with any of the three.
977310
im sorry =(    best wishes to your mom... i dont think theres much you can do besides provide her comfort and let her know your there for her.
612356
Just Pray to your God who ever you believe in Your mom just say these thing because she doesn't want to loose you. She needs you around just move it's that age your mom will miss you alot for the first few months but she will get over it. You are her baby the only one that she has now so she don't want to see you go so whatever she is saying to you she doesn't mean she loves you and need you but she knows deep in her heart that it's time to let you go and live your life. So don't worry just move and start your new life.
711020
put the past be hide you , just as your mum has . move forward and be happy for her
1038735
Having lost family, I can suggest the following:\n\n1.  First, know the prognosis. How long is she expected to live? What can be done to improve her chances of longer life?\n2.  Know your mother's wishes. This is her life. How does she want to approach this? Is she willing to fight? Does she just want to accept this and settle her affairs and live the rest of her life in peace?\n3. See to your mother's comfort and her state of mind first. Believe me, you will have time to dwell on your own grief later. Consider this a healthy postponement of your grief.\n4.  Accept the fact that sooner or later, we lose our parents. It is a part of life and how we deal with it will be an example to our own children and grandchildren. We want them to live on and thrive, not spend their lives in heartache and sorrow.\n5.  Create more memories now! Enjoy your time together as much as possible. It is difficult to watch a loved one struggle through hard times, but being there for her, just holding her hand, showing your love will send her off with a feeling of deep satisfaction and leave you with fewer regrets.\n6.  Say what you've always wanted to say now.\n7.  Cry. Allow yourself to feel the sorrow, helplessness, even anger at this situation that we have no control over. Grieving cannot be denied. Cry it out.\n8.  But have hope. Always. Cling to the hope that there is a higher purpose for all things. Hope that the truth is we will be together again with our loved ones who have departed. This is only a short separation. They will be able to see us, visit us and whisper softly to us even though we, in our earthly bodies, will not be able to see them. We will be able to feel their presence. We will be reunited again.\nYou see, my grandmother, my father and my little boy died within one year. I can't describe the heartache. But I can describe the hope. And I have heard their whispers to me! So joyful, so hopeful, so encouraging! I feel their love. They can't wait until we are together again!\nUntil that time, please, please, spend your moments together caring, loving, laughing...then weep in dark rooms when you are alone. Have courage, my friend. And always hope.
596584
I am so sorry for your loss.  I would like to say that I think your mom would be proud of you and would love knowing that you love her and you miss her.  Instead of spending today being sad at her loss..spend the day rejoicing for the woman that she was and for the memories that will live on in your heart forever.  ((((((((hugs)))))))))
297862
first of all shes ur mom.. how long can she b angry with u. things wil cool down soon.. give her a good hug.. she wil surely calm down..say ur sorry.. even if ur not wrong.. it doesnt hurt to say sorry.. does it!!??
622133
Hello Cooldure\n\nIt sounds like things are kind of tough on you these days. Are you the oldest child in the family? How long has your Mom been gone? Does your Dad's sister live there, too, and does she help you deal with the work it takes to look after everybody? Does your Dad help with the housework? If you are trying to do everything yourself that certainly isn't fair. If your Dad is working long hours to earn money to take care of you all, he probably complains about your mother not helping out. That's hard for you to listen too.\n\nIt's good that you are trying to teach your brothers and sisters how to behave and how to work to help you. I admire you for doing so. Lots of young girls would be trying to get away from all that responsibility. I'll bet you're tired a lot of the time, and you probably feel like nobody appreciates you. \n\nYou should relax a little and just be the young girl you really are. Let some of the work wait and have a big sister day with your little sis. Go somewhere together, just the two of you, even if it's just for a long walk. Take a lunch along and spend some time together just talking and playing. Let her know how much you care about her and how you only want her to learn these things so she can take care of herself someday. Also you should spend a little time together everyday, just the two of you. I don't know how old she is so it's hard to tell you what to do here, but fuss over her a little and show her your love. Give her a hug once in awhile and tell her she's a good girl when she is. She'll give you a few hugs in return and it seems to me that you need a few of those. She will listen better, and you will have more patience with her, when things are friendlier between you. As long as your sister knows you love her, it doesn't matter what your Dad says about it, does it?\n\nWhen you are getting along better with your sister, your Dad should stop saying these things to you. If he doesn't, remember this: nothing lasts forever. You are learning how to take care of yourself and other people. Someday you will be finished school and have a job. You will be able to move out and take care of yourself. You won't have to stay where you are treated unkindly. \n\nFor now also remember that your Dad is probably an unhappy man whose wife has left him. Unhappy people sometimes aren't very nice to be around. Keep your chin up and don't let this get you down. You have a whole life ahead of you and I know you'll make it a good one. A hard working girl like you can't help being a success. Don't forget to take care of yourself, too. I hope you have a friend that you can talk to and visit at times. You can email me if you want to. I had a step daddy who didn't like me much when I was your age, and I hated him, too, so I understand a little about your problems. I didn't hate him anymore after I grewup and he liked me a lot better, too. You and your Dad will work this out. Good luck, my dear.
960803
Absolutely not.  It is selfish of her to even ask.  Especially with your mother recently widowed.  Making sure you mother is OK through the holidays should be priority; and she should understand that.  I know that the holidays can be the most trying for someone right after they have lost a loved one.  Hold your ground.  Stay where you belong.  I am sure she will get over it.  Good luck and happy holidays!!
239535
Um, this just seems cruel.  Why don't you ask your mother how she would feel about you planning on profiting after her death?  Who knows, maybe she will want to take this appraisal adventure with you as one last hoorahh.
1077652
Well I do not know your mother, but from the sound of it. It appears she is proud of you and your daughter and wants her friends to see how well you are doing. \nYour 42 which means your mother is most likely in her 60tys + which means life for her has less pleasures left. She is your mother and when she is gone, little things like this will seem like miss chances of memories to share. \nYou know she has no control over your choices but if it makes her feel like she is then what harm is there really. \nTrust me one day you will be glad you let this happen.
659921
dont worry you will be a great sis, dont you? so act normal and wait to get ready for a little bro it will be very difficult while your mother takes a rest.
1118660
wow... i guess try to tell her you have things under control. but it sounds like there is more to it if she is that worried about it. so either she knows every minute of your day or you are going to have more contact with the detectives. hard to tell you what you should do. sounds like  you have a major issue in your life going and then a complication to add to it. but good luck... i guess always remember... your day is always just seconds away from getting worse... so be happy with what you have. at least your mom loves you.... like i said... it could always be worse
123245
you mean expired as in died? my condolences to you. may you find solace and comfort in her absence. give yourelf time to heal and to grieve. everything happens for a reason which you may not understand (yet). but for it's worth, i am sure your sister will be disappointed if her demise is causing you too much pain. think of the good times and how she will be happy for you if you get good marks.