my mom plans on taking me to see if i had sex or not what should i do? Should i just tell her that i did?
141635
Hi Sweetheart, I'm Tina (Mom). You answered my question about the "Ask Mom" column I want to start, so it looks like you might be my first asker, even though I don't have the column yet. Okay, I went through what you did when I was your age. I too had had sex and my parents found out about it and off to the Doctor we were going to go but my Mom backed out when I admitted the truth. The best way to handle this is to realize that they will find out one way or another. Either by a Doctor or if you tell them the truth. There's nothing to be afraid of. It's not a death sentence, just something that's very hard to admit. I would sit down with her and say "Yes, I've been sexually active and I don't want to lie to you about it." If you've lied already, then apologize and take responsibility for it and try to assure her that it won't happen again. Remember, it will only last moments and you will get beyond it and things will return to normal again. The cat's pretty much out of the bag so you may as well lay it on the table. You may get punished but that's part of taking responsibility for it. You're going to be just fine, Honey. Your Mom loves you and you both will get through this. Good luck. Tina (Mom)
40740
Honey your mom is going through a lot of stress right now and so are you. I can assure that she loves you and while she might be angry ( hell even PISSED) at you for sneaking out she will respect you being grown up enough to tell her what you did and why. Tell her how you are feeling and what you did. It is a fact of life that you have to accept the punshiment that goes with the "crime" so step up and maybe this conversation will help the two of you understand each other a little better in the long run.
688115
Take a break. You've been betrayed. \nGo away for a little while, maybe, but this one is going to take some time, if ever.\nStop imagining that she was having sex like she does with you.\nDon't do that to yourself, because I guarantee it wasn't. Only the two of you have sex like the two of you.\nCan you handle the answer if you ask her to give you a blow- by-blow description of the night? A sort of "putting yourself in her shoes" for the night?\nIt's risky, but if you can listen, It just may benefit you so you can be angry, and then move on either way.\nShe should be ashamed of herself, and getting angry at her once and blasting her does not relieve her of the tremendous weight she's put on you.\nYou may never be able to trust her again. That sucks for you, because you had no part in it, and want things the way they were.\nWas there a problem that wasn't being addressed before this night?\nDoes anyone have their head buried in the sand??\nYou may need to take this time to get right into each others brains and decided what each of you REALLY wants out of life.\nPlease don't make the same mistake she did. You'll hate yourself.\nI can say that it is not the worst thing that can happen, but it is way up there.\nShe betrayed you, plain and simple. maybe she should live without you for a while and the two of you can really see where you're at. get yourself some legal assistance so you don't lose touch with your child.
449773
Shouldn't be the mom spying on the kid? Ask her to let you see.. you never know she just might if you really want to see.
1032665
Hey, what do you think!   If you were ready you wouldn't be asking this question.\n\nNo you probably aren't ready.  If you are feeling guilty, ask yourself why.  and if the parents are home----come on.\n\nluv Ava
822964
whats wrong with a hickie?  its just a mark that proves you had a good time yesterday hahaha.  your life is not your moms responsibility, its yours.  do what is best for yourself, not what your mom thinks is best, unless your mom is the perfect person, then you should listen to her
662265
I don't know how old you are, but obviously pretty young. \nI'll tell you that you should respect what her parents say. This gets you in good with them. They maybe worried that you are trying to give her stuff to feel obligated to do sexual things with her. In which case, that's too serious for your age and mom and dad know that. Okay, so your intentions were good, and not trying to buy sex, but trying to show her how much she means to you. Girls don't know this. They are too young to understand any of that. She confided in you about her deep feelings, feel honored, most girls don't feel that comfortable around any guy. If you want to tell her that you miss the times you had with her, that is okay, that lets her know that you really care about her still, but you understand that you both aren't ready for something that serious. She will then always remember that you are a wonderful boy, and her parents will always remember you were respectful. Wait until she and you are old enough to date seriously, who knows what the future holds. Remember to get good grades and go to college so you can get a good job; no girl (or woman) likes a stupid, broke man. Keep being you.
121040
When you are ready to take full responsibilities for the consequences. \n\nCan you take responsibility for a baby (adoption, abortion, or raising it yourself)? Do you have adequate medical care to deal with any sexually transmitted diseases? Do you have the money for contraception? Are you going to be sneaking around and hiding it from people in your life, or are you willing to talk about if it comes up? (I don't mean that you have to go around shouting, "I'm sexually active!" I just mean, could you ask your parents for assistance in getting proper contraception, for example.)\n\nIf not, I would wait--seriously. Sex is a powerful thing--it's the power to create another human being. Don't mess with it if you're not ready.
832587
Tell her; and stand firm in your resolve to wait until you are married.  It is too bad that you had to learn the hard way that alcohol and casual sex are not all they are cracked up to be.  It sounds like you are basically a good girl.  Tell your mom, she will help you get through this.
365222
yeah they can tell if you have been sexually active but they cant tell how old he was..the best thing to do is be honest with your gyneo about you sexual activity so she can make sure that you stay healthly and also check for std's\nWhy where you having sex with a man in his 40's have you been asulted if so you need to talk to your parents it is never ok for a man that old to have sex with a girl your age there is something wrong with him even if you concented.\nplease think about your actions it is your life and health you need to worry about
209796
did you ask for any explanation? I think that you should have done it first. Ask her!
654683
Ultimatly, it will be her choice whether to have sex or not. But if are open about sex with your kids, at least the child can make an informed decision about having sex.
1018993
just remember that your parents are scared and shocked and dealing with alot of things right now. you didn't say how old you are and that makes a huge difference so adding some details will help, let them come around on their own and be willing to talk to them about it. also make sure you are practicing safe sex EVERY SINGLE TIME!
846653
Livi, I have a daughter, she's 21 now.  I would be heart broken to know that she was hurting and confused.  And if she doesn't even know you got your period, then honey I think you need to skip the boyfriends for awhile and get to know your Mom.\n\nI remember when I was in the seventh grade, you are going through a lot of emotional stuff right now.  A Mom you can talk too would be great.  Can't you see yourself sharing some of this with her.  Please try.\n\nNow, about this nineth grader.  If you really really like him, then talk to him.  Tell him up front you aren't going in for no kissing and no touching.  If he can't deal with that, then drop him.  If he's truly interested in you then he will give the chance to be comfortable with the idea of kissing him.  My daughter broke up with a boy because he started smoking again.  So, you be careful with young man.  I don't want to read on here later on that you went out with him and now you are pregnant.  \n\nKissing, touching, and even sex is fun stuff, I am not going to lie to you.  But with it comes other stuff that's not so fun.  You don't sound you are ready for this kind of relationship, and if you don't want to sound like a "baby" or not cool, then tell him you are grounded.  Or tell him the truth that you haven't gotten permission from your Mom, and she would ground you for life if you went out with him without her ok'ing it.\n\nLivi, please see if you can speak to your Mom.  Give her another chance.  We parents don't always don't know the right answers, but we do care.\n\nGod bless us all..........
107566
you shouldn't deleted because that your life. your mom shouldn't tell you what to do. as long as you are doing nothing bad.
96100
Well, I would say don't tell.  It would only ease your guilty conscience and would really hurt her.  If she gets suspicious though, don't lie.  (And don't do it again!)
507317
Yes but you might want to wait and let her tell you. She may say that you went to fast or you may tell her that you went to fast. Ask her.