Ok heres the deal me and my fiance of 3 years split. She says she wants to work on things,what does that mean?
145634
Means she needs time to think before going to the Altar with you. If you are not right for each other it is better to find out now then later. Your lady may be having second thoughts of marring you for a number of reasons. Why the looong engagement? Are you paying her enough attion? IS THERE SOMEONE ELSE ON EITHER SIDE????? Just give her room to think. And remember, there's a old sayen in the south "if you love something let it go and if loves you it will return". Cajun's belive in lot's of things 1 being Fate, if it is meant to be it will be.
1100338
you need to work together and work up to the "point of no return" and back off.  work up again until you both know the threshold and dont cross the line until you are both ready.
67250
I have been married for 7 years in april and my husband and I had a similar fight when we had first gotten married, I now do not work but in a new marriage everything is changing so fast and I think that asking her to quit her job is like asking her to give up her ability to support herself and feel confident, it is her way of having something all her own not having to share it. I think if you give her time and come to a compromise she will come to some common ground with you. But I wouldn't push the issue of her quitting all together. I hope that I have helped some .
1063590
I think "trial separations" are another way to say "I don't want to break your heart all ant once and get it over with, I want to drag it out for months, maybe even years". Time apart means less time for communication, which means more misunderstandings and more hard feelings.\n\nThe only way you are going to make your marriage work again is by making time for each other, talking about the issues and working thigs out together.  Find a good marriage counselor. If either of you are not serious about it, though, don't drag it out, just get it over with. \n\nIf I may suggest, if you have the money, one of you move out and plant to "date" each other again. Go steady for a few months, find the spark again. But don't "separate" it is just a preparation for "divorce".
874254
she doesnt prioritize and she let work take over her life. i think she's trying to satisfy everyone all at the same time and its taking a toll on her much less making her have different personalities. \n\nof course any other person would feel frustrated for getting tossed around and hit in the head with confusion, but you have to understand that she's human. BUT it doesnt give her the right to keep you dangling on a thread.\n\nobviously she still wants you around so try talking to her in a different environment or atmostphere-some where it wont remind her of work or school, etc. for instace the beach, a coffee shop, the place you first took her to confess your feelings. and then talk to her like as if its almost an ultimatum, but not. \n\ntell her everything that you feel and how its affecting your relationship with her. talk about the way she act or the things that she does to hurt you or confuse you. tell her that youre going to let her deal with whatever she needs to deal with at her own pace. that youre going to respect her space so long she respects yours.\n\nhopefully this is an eye opener for her or is helpful for you to think up something to do. \n\nbest wishes. stay true.
358419
Wow. I don't think your being unreasonable with how you feel, but she did just start a new job. Lord willing, there will be more annaversaries, but she is probably very stressed right now from the change. Give her some time. If she doesn't want to party, ask what she wants. Find something that works for her and you. She will probably do better once things get easier.\n\nThis breaking up and getting back together thing concerns me though, and might have something to do with it all. Sounds like something hasn't been going right in your relationship. Perhaps something neither one of you is even aware of. You might want to get some councling on this.\n\nBut you should sit down with her and talk to her about the lack of attention she's giving you. I wouldn't expect her to e-mail you back every day on her cell, and she may feel smothered by too much attention. It may be that you aren't giving her enough space, and she's withdrawn. It may also be that she enjoys your e-mails, even if she doesn't respond all the time. Talk with her about how she feels about it all, and ask her if you could improve in any area.\n\nGive it some time and be patient, but she should do her best on this to let you know that she cares about you, and that even with the new job, she still loves you and more than intends to make time for you. This may not happen instantly, so don't be too pushy, but do be plainspoken and truthful. But, if she refuses to at least care about your feelings on this, and that not caring continues, you may want to look into finding a new girlfriend.
909873
I think she is still upset about the breakup so she needs time to think about everything that has happened. Deep down even though she is being distant with you she really wants to open up to you but she is so hurt, but dont give up on her give her the time she needs even though it may be a little tough. When she is ready to talk she will trust me!
1051009
Is she depending on your money? If not, you had no business telling her to get a job. If she was, then you should tell her you can't afford to support her anymore. Just stop giving her the cash. Do you mean you're living together and she wants to move out? Sounds like a good idea. You can still keep your relationship, and once things get smoother you can try again. Sounds like a good way to figure out if she loves you, or your money. Or do you mean she wants to move to another city? She could be bluffing so you beg her to stay. She just wants to feel wanted, instead of like a burden. Just have a business like conversation. Tell her if she get's a job, even a parttime one, you'll continue to help supporting her, but you will keep a tab, and she has to sign a letter of agreement that she will pay you back. That's fair. That way you can be there for her when she needs you, without being taken advantage of. Attitude very rarely changes. So if you can't live with her attitude, move on.
762629
Now what exactly is she unhappy with?  My guess is she's not giving you the full story.  Did she suddenly decide that a married life and the responsibilities that go with it, is not what she wanted in the first place?  Was she upset with you because you were gone and she was feeling lonely?  Is there another man in the picture?  If you are even going to try to save your marriage, you need to do a heart to heart talk with her and find out what she wants out of the marriage.  If she wants out, then I guess she has made her choice.  Not much you can do about it then.
1037482
She want's to break you up because she doesn't want to lose her baby.  Feel sorry for her.  When you get married you'll be in control.
513636
Actually, I think the amount of time that passed is NOT important, however, did you change? Did she change? Why did you split up 7 years ago? Consider these answers before leaping again, and make sure you both know what you are expecting from the other.
1131067
hi, it's pretty much nthing you can do all she saying is she need her own space she's just trying to find herself. give her time and space and if you love her you would let and go and if she omes back you'll even love her more because now she is ready to give you all her love and time but right she can't give it to you if she can't give her love to herself.
936774
Split up again. If both people are not happy it can't work.
591838
time to move on pal...talk to her first. because talk is cheap. explain your feelings and make it clear why you want to move on and follow through on it. then you will see if she values your relationship or not. if she breaks down and tells you not to break it off, make an agreement for her to get some type of therapy or professional counseling b4 trying again...good luck
357456
Honestly she's trying to get your attention about something.  She probably doesnt really want to split if she doesnt have a good reason.  We women want your attention and when we dont get it... we say what we can to get to you... try talking it out, I'm sure she's got a lot she wants to get out.
410860
that is great!!! When someone vows to save that for YOU for marriage you should cling to that as a sign that she REALLY loves you!! Respect her is what you do.... be there for her b/c she can't stop doing those things on her own... I promise you will be SOOO much happier in the long run if you HELP her work this through!
1046068
maybe you two just spend to much time together. yes it's normal to feel this way but if you two don't give each other just a little space it won't work.if she still get on your nerve after a couple days apart then i would split. it has to be more than two days though. spen like three days out of the week together and the rest with friends