what do you do 11 years after marriage when your wife doesnt want to experiment?
151922
This will require time patients and tact on your part.\n\nFirst start by reading books on marital relationships.\nA good place to start is either the 5 love languages, or His needs, Her needs. \nLearn how to work on marital communication FIRST. \nonce you know her 5 basic "NEEDS" are meet, and you have a way to talk with her about emotional issues important to you. then you can address experimenting a bit.\n\nAt first try things you can mutually agree look safe.\n\nLight bondage is a very good one. \nas are blindfolds, and a bit of voyerism ( in the home and just for you) you can even try giving her a sensual massage ( women love this) and it can help break the ice between you. \nTry to include romance for her benifit. \nlike make dinner, prepare her a bubble bath and finish with a massage. work on her pleasure with out expecting any fulfillment for your self for 1 night. make a game out of how many times you can satisfy her in one night. \nYou would be suprized ohw it can open up things in the bedroom. \n\nAgain work on meeting her 5 basic "NEEDS" the rest will come together once you can open up emotionally, and learn how to listen in an effective manor. \n\nGod Blessing be on your family.
201876
You cant and you shouldnt have done that in the first place. Thats called adultry and your wife can devorce you for everything that your worth for that. So break it off now with her.
384232
You say you have no sex experince but are you sure? Do you masturbate? DO you watch pornographic material? Do you think about her naked body and what sex will feel like? Well the last question is obvious but the other 2 still need to be answered. If yuo are a virgin I congratulate you! The best thing to do when you don't know what to do is just enjoy your honeymoon!\n\nTry to relax and just kiss her gently.  Soft touches and kisses elsewhere never hurt the beginning of sexual activity. If she asks you to stop though abide by her wishes and just continue when she is more relaxed and wanting it. Mostly likely you are the one that may get the surprise of your wife having sex with you.
259217
it's true it sounds like your wife doesn't want it as much as you do, but she is so spoiled and blessed to have such a good husband who is considerate to that. i admit i don't always want to when my husband does, but i rarely tell him no. even if i can't do it i'll be considerate to him being in the mood, and help him out orally.
199593
Sounds like your marriage really needs work.  Not just wishful thinking.  You have to show her you genuinely care enough to rebuild the marriage and she has to decide to stop looking elsewhere for what she's not getting from you.  There's a book called "His Needs/Her Needs" by Harley and it outlines that when specific needs are not being met that one of people may go looking elsewhere.  It doesn't mean they should do it but it can happen.  There is always hope if both people want to work through it.
463927
The same thing happened to my second wife.  We did it like rabbits when we were dating but once married, the activity dropped off quite a bit.  I am sure the rigors of married life has something to do with it and the comfort in being in a long term relationship.  I am sure it doesn't happen to all women nor men for that matter.  Could be that you just need to try something different every now and then.  Location, clothing, time of day, etc.  Variety is the spice of life.
637179
Been there done that...whats up with the 23rd year...Its alot of years, you'll never forget the past, my marriage was great the first 20 years, but I could see the dis-interest building as the months after pasted by...and she too felt she was no longer in love with me, however I later found out her interests were directed toward another...suggestions..Seek marriage council advice, put forth a 100% effort to resolve such conflict, and if it doesn't turn out happily ever after, if there ever was an ideal time to be single , its with a good job, no mortgage and your child a grown adult...very simular to my situation...its was 2 yrs separated and 3 years since divorce and those conditions were blessings in disguise.
915240
Every marriage-  married young or older will change and get boring @ times If you let it\nYou both need time together away from the problems, worries, kids to reconnect\nYou need to date your spouse all over again
167253
Put on a porn film just while having sex with your wife!\nShe could be agree and consequentially you could lose interest in it.
1150908
Try to compromise with ur wife to make up sometimes for sex as u need it.
398973
Buy a house.\nMy wife's hobby is doing things around the house she can do and making lists of things we need to take care of she isn't capable of alone. Mine is executing those jobs on the list only I can do. In our free time we tackle jobs from the list we both are capable of. We also spend a lot of time in the bedroom. Actually, now that the kids are grown and gone, ANY room we feel like...\n\nBut then, we might be considered wierd. After 30 years of marrige we still find each other incredibly sexy. We like spending time together and have our "causes" we support. Both of us are passionate about children's rights. We have been foster parents for 17 years and are on about every child care panel in existence.  We also teach parenting and alternative discipline classes together for our state's Dept. of H&W and I am on various boards and am the governor's appointment to our state's Children's Trust Board from our district.\n\nAnd, oh yes. In my spare time I also am writing my second book. And am public relations director for my Shrine Center. (you know, we support the free hospitals for kids)\n\nAnd when we're home, in the evenings we sit out on our deck in the spa and sip wine or tea or maybe hot chocolate with cinnamon schnapps. Yes, naked...
936372
Mr curious is boring!!!\nThere is nothing wrong with spicing it up. Marriage is something you have to work on, every single day, and part of marriage is intimacy and sex. I have been married for 2 years and find that doing something special and out of the ordinary sometimes can do wonders for your relationship. I like to find out when he is coming home and then leave him a note at the front door directing him to the next note in another room and so on and so on. Put a little message on each note telling him to remove an item of clothing and then go to the next note. By the end of the trail, he will find you wearing something sexy with candles and massage oil. Something he will keep thinking of for weeks.
61322
first off, congrats. it's not easy to make it to 10 years, so cheers for you!\n\nnow, let's get down to business. here's a couple things to try to keep that spark alive, or hopefully to ignite things if they've gone a little cold.\n\n1) give sexy gifts spontaneously.\n\nlisten, you're not kids anymore; you love each other, and sex is part of that. you don't have to be embarassed of being straightforward about your sex life. that being said, it's okay to give each other sexy, suggestively romantic gifts. a couple of ideas:\n\n-for the man: get your wife something romantic, like a bottle of wine with a ribbon wrapped around it along with a sexy romance novel for those nights when you can't be there. the book will get her mind racing with all these creative new ideas for your love life, and the wine will provide a bit of "liquid courage" to get the ball rolling. =)\n\n-for the woman: honestly, nothing can be sexier to us than YOU, simple as that. but show us that you're in the mood, and that you don't mind sex as a way to express love. pick up a bit of lingerie, and surprise us in a place that's NOT the bedroom. \n\ntry taking your man out to lunch, and telling him in the middle of the meal that you've got a lacy black thong on. then, watch how fast he gets the check taken care of so that he can whisk you home. ;)\n\n2) communication.\n\nwe've all been there: it's been a long day, and the last thing you want to do is have a marathon sex session when you come home. for the guy, watch your woman's mood -- if she's been picking up after the kids all day, DON'T bug her about when dinner's going to be ready. instead, make her feel appreciated and maybe even lend a helping hand to the things she has left to do. the appreciative feelings flooding through her system will shoot straight to her crotch. trust me.\n\nand for the lady: take care of your man -- he won't admit it, but he's a big baby. he's probably super stressed from his day of work, and even if it seems like he wants to talk about it, don't let him. instead, completely take care of his needs -- give him a back rub, make a nice steak or something (i like pasta, personally) and don't try and bring up the things he's stressed about. you'll be amazed that, as his mind is relieved from the things that stress him out, he'll have much more time and energy to focus on you.\n\n---\n\nwell, that should get the ball rolling. i would post more, but everyone here at Y! Answers has the attention span of speedy gonzales (not a racist joke) =U|\n\ngood luck, and may the relationship spice up dramatically!
808887
Try some bondage or some role-playing.  Keeping it fresh is the hardest thing for me too (in a relationship for 7 years now).  When the feelings of passion wear off, we have to get creative.  Even if you are sexually active, it gets old for both parties.  Try going to an adult store for ideas or look at some adult couple websites.  I think most long-time couples would say that this is the hardest area to overcome and new ideas are always welcome.
594156
16 years and NOW it's causing problems?\n\nIs she wanting it less frequently because you want it so much? She is just sick and tired or the incessant demands?\n\nYou both sit down and discuss this.\n\nLet her know that you enjoy the carnal aspect of your marriage and realize that she is uncomfortable with three or four times a day (Don't you have a job?)\n\nSee is she would be amenable to four time a month.\n\nMarriage is give and take. See what you can work out that makes both of you happy,
385871
After Marriage if you dont have sex it wont last, being innovative and active in the bedroom is a very good way to keep me around and happy. I want to make my lady happy in the same manner. Communications is the key, the best sex organ is the mind. Good Luck Happy Easter
1018598
You know what? I don't think it is fair what some of the others have said..i think it is entirely possible to lose abit of that...and what you need to do is relive a lot of the past...remember a lot fo the romantic things you did for him and sneak those things back in to your repetoire...by that I mean...I sent my wife an Easter card when she went back to see her family in South America and she loved it..my wife and I started off by writing and emailing and while we've known each other for 11 years we've been married for 7.  I always try to do things, read old letters, look at pictures and read diaries of things we did together and I try to do them again...go to fine restaurants (tough with a child) but we do what we can.  I haven't fallen out of love with my wife but I think that it is necessary for you to start dating your husband on a weekly basis so that it doesn't happen again-FLIRT WITH HIM-go park..hehe whatever.....life is a long journey..sometimes it seems as though your priorities with children and work that sometimes you may lose the spark a bit..just light the pilot light again and do what you can to get his attention and it doesn't have to go back to the bed-especially if you are trying to see where his feelings lie with you...(no pun intended)...yeah that will get his attention in the short run..as it will in most men...BUT....it won't stand for the long run...so there has to be more.  maybe play hard to get a little..make him feel as though he has to give chase a bit...don't play the game too long...but...entice him..take him out for ice cream or even to a ball game EVEN if you HATE baseball or football...or a concert if he doesn't care for sports...\namusement park..you get the idea...do things that he LOVES to do that you would normally not care so much for because you CARE about doing stuff he is interested in...it is just an idea...surprise him...