i'm gay and my mom doesn't know what should i do?
156718
Well Sweety, honesty is in most cases the best policy. Don't you think that she will find out one day? I would sit down with her and tell her that you need to tell her something that she might find shocking or that she might be upset about. Then, tell her, "Mom, I want you to know how much I love you and what a good mother you've always been (if this is true), and I need you to hear me out and try to stand by me, because I really need you now." Something to that effect. You may want to pick up some literature on parental understanding and support for parents of gay children. There's no real easy way to do it but I can tell that it's something you must do for your own peace of mind. I'm a mother and I can tell you that for most mothers, there is nothing that will change their love for their children, even if they are upset. The bond is so very strong between mother and child that I'm willing to bet that she will not stop loving you. She may be upset and unaccepting at first but if you keep the lines of communication open, you will work things out. Good luck, Honey. Here are some websites that might help you:\nwww.gayfamilysupport.com\nwww.outproud.org/brochure_for_parents.html
58817
why doesnt your mom like this guy and his family? most likely she looking out for you. i know its how to see or understand that at time but its true. i had dated this one person once and my mom did like her b/c she was bi and she said keep on talk about how it couldnt work out b/c she woould want somting that i couldnt give her...while to make a long story short she was right. you family are always going to protect you from getting hurt by others.
317332
Hey,\nThis must be really hard. But why did you tell your parents you wernt?\nWhat you need to do to feel better is tell them the truth. They will love you no matter what. Theres nothing wrong with being gay!
1084041
I think your mother is wrong to make you decide this based solely on racial differences. If this guy treats you good and is a respectable then your mother should put her bigotry aside.
1113431
First you have to be sure about yourself, once you have accepted the fact that you are gay and there is no way of changing the fact then you have to be strong, because over the years to come you will hear all sorts of jokes and comments that are cruel, but are based on ignorance. You have to understand, that you have had time to become used to the idea of being gay, and probably have for some time, but when you come out to your family, this will be the first time they have had it confirmed and it will take them time to get use to it. First level with them, just sit them down and level with them, don't do what most gay people have done in the past including myself and that is to try and hide it, because you can never get away from it. The next thing to do is to be the man that you are, being gay doesn't mean you have to be a pansy, you can still be the man you know you are and the man they thought you where going to be. Move out as soon as you can and avoid contact with them for a few months, this does two things. 1. it gives them time to discuss, fight, backstab and blame each other, without yuo having to hear it or feel guilty about it, because you didn't choose to be gay, you where born that way, and anyone who says other wise is a bloody idiot.\n2. This gives you time to explore your sexuallity without the fear of being caught with your pants down by your parents.\n16 is young, but at 16 I knew I was a raging queer, but it wasn't until I was thirty that I levelled with my family, during this time I explored straight relationships, gay one night stands, sauna's etc... But in the end I faced my fears and relized if I didn't level with my family, I would never have a chance of being happy with my own life and to me my life is the more important that the embarassment I caused my parents. For ten years I have lived in a gay relationship and now my family accept my partner as a part of the family, they now accept that they are not going to get grandchildren but now they have had the time to relize that I hadn't change, I was still the son they had 42 years ago, good luck kid, but careful there are some crazy mother----- out there, but be happy and have fun
1156935
spell check please! lol your mom is not into you dating? ok # talk to her about that
253034
The sooner the better. They may be hurt or angry or confused - but the sooner you get it out there the sooner you can all talk about it and you won't have to feel like you are hiding it from them. It is too depressing when you can't be yourself completely - it depends on your parents and their personalities and beliefs as to how they might react...but the sooner you do it the better and the more time you will have to let them get used to it. They may want you to go to a counselor or talk to someone else about it. You need to do this because more than likely the counselor is going to be someone you can talk to openly and it is confidential- they can not tell your parents anything without your consent. And it is important that you have someone to talk to that you can trust. It will be an adjustment for your parents. Your parents may think they did something wrong to "make" you gay. They may be sad and think they will never have grandchildren, etc... They may believe that homosexuality is a choice and expect you to change your mind, or think it is a phase and think you will grow out of it. It is important that you are patient with them as they will have to work through their own feelings about the matter. But the sooner you talk to them about it the sooner you can all work on getting through it together.
804820
I'm not sure what the actual question is here... is it a bad thing that he might be gay? What would you do if he was straight? If you feel like you need to act, just make sure that he knows that you love and support him no matter what. If he is gay, it will be extremely difficult for him to admit it to you and your family. The next time you're talking to him you could bring up one of your gay friends in passing (or make one up if you don't have any) so that he knows that you are okay with homosexuality (assuming he is gay and assuming you're okay with homosexuality).  However, just because he doesn't share his personal life with you doesn't necessarily mean he's gay. My brother is straight but doesn't particularly like to divulge information about his personal life to any of us.
808056
I can't claim to know anything about your problem, I'm a straight female.  But it just broke my heart to read your question.  This must be so difficult for you.  I don't know what to tell you to do, maybe you should try to wait for the right person to come along before you say anything, at least then you would have some kind of support.  I can't speak for your parents, of course, but if my child came to me and told me he's gay, I would be loving and supportive, a parent always loves their children, no matter what, at least that's the way I feel about my child.  I just wanted you to know I feel for you and wish you the best! :)
876889
When I came out my family told me that they knew already. They didn't hate me.  Be honest with her.  Make sure you know what you want, both in life and out of this conversation.  You may try talking to another family member that you think will be more receptive.  They can be support for both your mother and you.\n\ntalk to friends and have a plan.  have somewhere to go for support is it goes badly.\n\nGood luck.\n\nPS most mothers don't "hate" their children
625928
You cant really do anything unless your mom starts approving. If you're not of legal age anything u do beyong kissing and holding hands can have him landed in jail. If you're both serious about this, then talk to your mom together.
928994
So just tell her that you don't know how you feel about it.  You're not against homosexuality, but you're not sure what kind of effects it would have on society.  If the problem of your uncertainty comes from vague societal problems, then she can't really get mad at you.  She might try to convince you that gay marriage should be legalized, but I don't think there's any harm in that either.  I'd just tell her you sit on the fence.  You support gays, but you're scared of backlash.  The result is confusion.
58415
well im not stupid,now lets see what happeens when i think!\nwell i think you are sexually frustrated,you dont know why you like guys,i think your mad at your dad for leavn your mom for another guy, i think you have no skills and this worries you now that you can no longer sponge off dad, i think you think it still might be dangerous to come out of the closet. well now that did nt hurt at all.\nanyway thanks for askin and as always glad to help.
708771
Talk to your mom about it
198527
Wait....your mom chooses your friends for you?  That is just a wee bit controlling don't you think?\n\nNow, about your question.  There is nothing wrong with the way you feel.  Explore it a bit and see if that is what you really want.  Contact a local support group.  When you know who you are, don't be ashamed to tell your family.  If they love you, they will accept who you are.  There might be some feathers flying, but things will settle.
380258
Why tell everyone.Your sexual preference is no one's business,but yours.Family I can understand,but everyone will eventually fgure it out.If that is you,then who cares what they think. They will accept you or they won't.
460258
Your mom is going through a difficult situation in life.  You should understand that.  And so are you!  But be by her side and stand up for her always.  Also, do not be shy to discuss EVERYTHING concerning her relationships and your feelings with her gently.  Surely she will be the one to make you more comfortable in dealing with the matter.  What other people say does matter, but only to a certain extent.  So dont let that get to you.  Afterall, they do not provide you with anything when you are down.  Also divert your mind and do things that make you happy.  Good luck kid - looks like you are brave and will come out of this a winner.