Im married but find myself attracted to other men-what should i do?
144664
Stick to your vows.  It's okay to be attracted to other people but you're married so just don't act on the attraction!
320446
well.. most of the times when we get attracted to another person.. inspite of being in a seemingly happy relationship..it's because we find something in that person.. or in our relationship with that person.. that strongly fills the invisible,subconcoius void in our own present relationship.. masny a times,being women we compromise in our relationships for the sake of our families,society and all that..so much so that we often forget what we wanted from our relationships.. till the time someone else comes into our lives... like a fresh breeze and we end up feeling that this is what we always wanted.so analyse your feelings and the reason why u feel u like this other guy.. if u can then try to bring it into your relationship.and see if this particular factor was responsible for u falling for this guy.. i say falling for this guy n not falling in love as it may just be infatuation.. u know even though u love a person it isn't possible to stop getting attracted.. point is where to draw the line.. remember it takes a second to break but ages to bulid.. especially where our relationships are concerned.. but if u still can't get over your feelings for this man.. then think aboutit.. as the problem may be in the relationship u have with your hubby right now.. in that case even if this guy goes.. u'll end up feeling the same for another guy who.. kind of fits into that void which i was talking about..\nand even if u do go for this guy leaving your hubby.. remember one thing..-NO RELATIONSHIP IS 100% SATISFACTORY at the end of the day something will be a lil amiss.. and in the same way something may be great too.. so just think about it.. carefully.. before u do anything.. so best of luck and may god help u in getting over this delimma.. and don't be overtly gulity.. remember we're human beings.. we're not perfect.. TAKE CARE!!
1046446
Temptation is normal, but don't let it get out of hand.  It's okay to have a little crush on this "other guy" for now, but just weigh what you and your boyfriend have and what you and this "other guy" have.  It sounds like you and your boyfriend are strong, moving past a problem like cheating, but obviously, you like your boyfriend MORE than this other guy.  That's why you're with him...YOu LOVE him, right?  If it is as you say, then you definitely don't want to give that up.  You tried the other guy 4 months into your relationship with your boyfriend, and you didn't decide to run off with him, but you stayed with your boyfriend instead, meaning that you want your relationship to work out with him, and he seems like he is prepared to stick it out with you as well.  If you truly love him, then you won't leave him for this other guy, even if it may seem more exciting or if you still have left over feelings for him.  The goal is to leave feelings from the past, in the past.  Since you have a commitment with your boyfriend now and you love him more than anything, the other guy is merely a temptation.  Like I said in the beginning, temptation is normal, but don't let it get out of hand.  We're all human...we all have hormones, adrenaline, sexual feelings... ;) ...Even happily married couples have temptations, but it doesn't mean they drop whoever they're with and move in with the other person.  Theres that self control and rationally weighing what you could lose if you go either way.  Now ask yourself, is the other guy worth losing your boyfriend over?  As time goes on, and you realize how much you have and don't want to lose, the temptation will subside.  If however, you realize you don't have much after all (and you don't actually love your boyfriend), then you should look further.  Don't make a decision until you are absolutely sure, because you may not be able to turn back.
960912
Natural.\n\nBeing married does not cut off all your sense involving the opposite sex.  You still can become very attracted to someone else but because you are married, you don't allow it to lead to ANYTHING !\n\nBut, you may think about the other person for a while but it will pass with your help meaning get busy with something else and pray.
900918
I used to only be attracted to older men.  At nineteen I met an older man and married him.  That was 29 year, three kids, and two grandkids ago, he is still my hero.   Age doesn't matter as long as both are legal consenting adults.
513844
I don't understand how you can be 100% faithful to your wife and still have a gay sexual orientation. Did you get this sexual orientation after getting married to her or before. If its before, then its amazing you were attracted enough to a woman to marry her though you were gay and i don't know for how long now you guys have been married. But if its after, then its not fair. There is a possibility you could still get rid of the this orientation. Obviously it would not work if your wife finds out. But you should at least be sincere enough to tell her and let her make her choice which is obvious, and would be to leave the marriage, but she would not mind if she has the same sexual orientation. Just be sincere with her and come clean
376044
I hope that you are very careful with what you are doing with this guy.  Remember that you are married and you may lack a certain thing in your marriage which will be better work out with your husband.  I understand that it is kind of nice to have someone interested in your despite you are married but why are you dragging him on?  Will you be happy to divorce your husband because this guy sweet talk to you?  Are you sure that you will have a better future with this man than your current husband.  I suggest that you spend more time with your husband and rediscover him then talking to this guy, unless you have no hope in your marriage!  Good Luck!
925280
I can totally relate to where you're coming from. I am also happily married to an amazing guy who sounds a lot like your husband - attractive, sweet, dependable. Yet I sometimes think about other guys I've been with (even brief relationships from back in high school!) or develop big crushes on guys I meet (see my latest post for details). \n\nI can also give you advice as someone who has followed her feelings and tried to "have it all" and the cake, too. A few years ago, I had a very brief affair - which I then confessed to my husband (also detailed in an earlier post). I was very fortunate that he forgave me, and now almost 4 years later we have a child together. The thing is, the affair totally wasn't worth it. Not only did I hurt my husband, who has been my best friend for 10 years, but I went through an emotional hell (and a deep depression).\n\nI can see a lot of similiarities in our situations because I am religious also. That can cause even more angst when these sexual feelings arise, because you feel so much guilt from them. What I've come to recognize is that the feelings are normal, but you just need to be careful not to act on them. It's OK to think about other people from time to time, to fantasize as long as you don't start spending all your energy wanting it to come true. \n\nIn your case, since you've been with this other guy in the past, it would be really easy to fall into it again. My advice is to stay away from him. Enjoy the memories of the exciting sexual moments you've shared in the past, and remember that you're an attractive person to other guys. Use it to boost your confidence and feel good about yourself, just don't act on it. Hope that helps! :-)
228516
which ever I'm attracted to.. ?
971102
no ... there is nothing wrong with that at all.... opposites attract.... \neven when your married you can still find people attractive. \nAs long as you don't act upon it then you shouldn't feel guilty.
632611
No, I think it's normal - human beings are programmed to be attracted to one another. Have fun! Lucky you to have two hot guys to choose from. Only problem will be if this continues...and you still can't choose way down the line. In which case, it might be that neither of them is right for you.
142262
The best start is to pick someone you don't know that well. Let your wife set the rules, so that she's comfortable and stick to them. As to your relationship, it will change. You are sharing something that is supposed to ba an intimate expression of your love for each other. Inviting someone else in will change it. No one can predict how your feelings will change. That is why you must think carefully as a couple: should this stay a fantasy? If you are happy with the risks, as a couple, then go for it. But no recriminations if things go badly.
529365
Here's a little trick. Picture yourself married to him, doing the things married couples do, meeting his friends and family, facing problems together, etc.. Do you like what you see? If not, give yourself some more time to know him better and do the mind excercise again. If you don't like it still, stop waisting your time and find another guy you can be comfortable with.
144303
Figure out what made you question your sexuality first-- Then consult your wife about it. But... your sexuality shouldn't matter if you're already married to who you love. Some people never "come out of the closet" so the fact that you're wondering may be a beautiful thing. There's nothing wrong with being gay-- society just makes it seem like it's the devil's work or something else just as ludicrous. It's something you can't stop-- It's also pretty misunderstood. Hey, put it this way- there are lots of famous people who aren't straight too! =]
1001121
Many people think that when you are married it means that you will never meet someone or see someone you are attracted to or like. The fact of the matter is nothing could be further from the truth. You are not dead simply married. \n\nWhat makes the difference is how you conduct yourself and how you channel that energy and focus those feelings. You may not be able to help how you feel but you do have control over how you react, what you do and what you say about the matter. \n\nThe issue here is commitment and how you need to re-focus that commitment to your husband and your marriage. Marriage takes work and a deep commitment on both parties involve towards making it work, keeping it strong, healthy and mutually satisfying.  \n\nI don't think your issue is the other man rather its perhaps your fear that you are not enough and what you may feel is missing from the relationship you now. Perhpas gone or deminished is the sense of adventure, the explicit attention, the looks that speaks volumes, the focus that is so intense that it’s a turn on and make you feel sensual as a woman and desired. That’s the issue. \n\nIt would be prudent to examine exactly what it is that attracted to you to this man, it is in the behaviour, the roles you play, and the habits and ethos you exhibited when you were doing the mating dance with each other. That is what you have to capture and channel into yourself and your marriage. You have to infuse it with that adrenaline and transfuse it into your relationship\n\nIt starts with you. The things you need, want and desire from your husband give it. Simone de Beauvoir once said that "The curse which lies upon marriage is that, too often the individuals are joined in their weakness rather than in their strength--each asking from the other instead of finding pleasure in giving". \n\nTeach your husband how to treat you\nTeach him how to desire you\nTeach how to love you\n\nThere is no shame in expressing yourself freely, if you cannot do it with the man you have chosen to share you life with then with whom? If you are to get what you want you must be willing to ask for it, give it and be woman enough and confident enough to know you deserve it. Your husband cannot read you mind, and you cannot be afraid to be vulnerable with him, that is what love it, you cannot be afraid to communicate honestly and from the heart. You do not need to give it away, hide it away or throw it away. Express it with the man you married, lovingly and passionately do not communicate your desires in anger, he will not hear you because he will have is defences up protecting himself against the on slaughter. \n\nIts important to know and remember that men want to be loved, desire, and wanted just as women. They may not speak it but they want and yearn for it just as badly.\n\nYou have a responsibility to yourself and your happiness and you must invest in you. You be the best you can be, live your dream and be happy and your will get the best of you because you will be your best. Your husband no matter how much he loves you cannot fill you up entirely because he does not live in your head. You cannot find yourself esteem, self-worth, desire and value in a man, all that treasure lies within you. You are the key, you hold the answers.\n\nLove the one you'r with.
341034
Firstly, why did you get married and you're bi? i mean you're not sure of sex you like more, i find that's its wrong more wrong than being homosexual just because its unfair to your wife and to "your best friend" choose one or none. Does your wife know you're bi-sexual? You need to be honest with yourself-as to what u like,if you don't know or can't choose then you need to be honest with your wife now before its too late... I've seen thing like this destroy families and i affects the children. Make your decision before it's too late.
98126
sounds like you just haven't found the one  your looking for yet cause when you do you won't want anyone else..if you get bored with one man and move on to another theres nothing wrong with you..its good to shop around and compare before you settle down...when you find that special someone that you care about you'll no it..till then just have fun and be happy