me and my husband also my 9months old son planning 2 got 4 u.k. coze so much strugle over here..just for job?
145655
If you are trying to confuse me, you did.
251504
tell him to get a job, or get the hell out! seriously!  what kind of man is he??? if hes not willing to pull his weight, do you think he can really fill your needs?  naturally you can help him on job searches, but he needs to be a big boy now... if he can be out of his parents house, then he can join the ranks of the working adult!!!!
182694
sounds like it. us blokes are really bad at kepping things to ourselfs and love to give obivous hints. good luck and be happy. :-)
671528
I'm guessing that your son will probably get hassled at school. Kids are mean, or at least some are, and he will no doubt get his share of the ribbing. That being said, I worked with a guy at Reynolds and Reynolds who was a dwarf. He was a technical manager, and when he first started, he was pretty uptight. Once he got settled, people pretty much treated him like anyone else. A good friend of mine worked under him, and he liked him a lot. I think that as long as your son doesn't make a big deal about it, no one else will either. It sucks to be different, but it isn't going to stop him from having a more or less normal life.
694882
Wow!  That is quite a burden for a young man just starting out.  I live in the US.  Here and in most western societies it is common for women to work to help support the family.  I've been married for 28 years and did not work only when my children were very small.  Once they went to school I went to work.  How else can a family have a decent home and vehicles?  I'm sorry that your girl's family rejected you - maybe it wasn't meant to be?  Once you graduate and are in a better position financially try again.  Hopefully your girl will still be unattached and available if not then you know she wasn't meant for you and your real mate is out there waiting for you to find her.  I wish you good luck.
501200
My father worked away from home a lot and we managed fine.  They need to talk to him often.  Why not get Skype or the Yahoo equivalent so they can talk for free.  You could even get a webcam.  Keep your husband 'in the loop' don't make it so you make all the decisions about the children with out him.  Get the children to write and draw pictures for him and talk about him a lot.
569023
Sounds like you need to examine your own lifestyle. All this bed hopping hasn't exactly worked, has it? Think it through. Your son has been through a lot, granted. But WHY has he been placed in that position? Take control of your life and learn from your mistakes.
393643
Are you and she ready financing to handle something that life shaking? It would be terrible for the child to be brought into the world and they can't be properly taken care of. It is one of the biggest steps in your life.  It should be something that both of you think about and consider every option of before you jump into it.  Remember its someone else's life you're affecting.
691675
I'm a stay at home mum with 2 kids too.  Do what I did.  Get a job in a childcare centre!  It may not seem like much fun (it didn't to me when I started) but it's been great.  I tried to get office jobs and actually got offered 2 jobs, but by time I paid tax and childcare fees, I wasn't ending up with anything in my pocket at the end of the day, I was working for nothing.\n\nWith this job, my children come with me. (the childcare centre doesn't charge me for bringing my kids to work!)  It means that I have an income plus I get to spend the day with my children - which is so important, they're only little for a short period of time, you don't want to miss this if you can help it.  The best bit is that because my kids are participating in activities all day, by the end of the day, they're exhausted (me too!) but they pretty much eat their dinner and go straight to bed without arguments.  Some days when I work part time, they are happy to spend the afternoon in quiet activities (watching TV) because they've had so much stimulation in the morning.  On these days, I study part time - I'm doing a business course by correspondence.  \n\nTo get a job like this, if you have no experience (I didn't), offer to do some voluntary work for a childcare centre nearby to get some "work experience".  Explain to them that you have 2 young children and you'll work for free in return for free childcare while you're there.  It's amazing how many places will take you on and teach you the ropes if they know they're getting free labour.  I don't have any qualifications (not even first aid) but the law here in Australia is that as long as there is a qualified person in the room, I don't need to be qualified, I just had to get a police check which the childcare centre paid for.  I worked for 2 months voluntary before they offered me a paid position.  Once you have experience you could get a position anywhere.  It's an industry that there are a lot of employment vacancies at the moment.  Once you start getting on top of things financially and get into a bit of a routine, maybe you could consider studying part time by correspondence (via email) as I did, it will open up a whole world for you.  The day your kids start school, you may have qualifications for a job you've always dreamed of and have a huge future in front of you with a great income.\n\nI wish you all the best, I know how hard it is to be a mum and be broke!!!!  Don't be discouraged, keep knocking on doors until you find the right job.  It will happen if you keep a positive frame of mind.  I know you can do it!!!!
479043
sorry don't know an answer to this but I just wanted to say my heart goes out to you. I have a prem baby and I know how financially draining it can be. \nHas your wife tried appealing to this guys better nature by explaining the situation to him and asking if there is a compromise you could come to?
428002
I'm 25, already have a baby, I work full time in an international chinese company in Mexico...I'm just so busy all the time. I'm actually wondering if it's gonna be like this for the rest of my life. I wish I could just quit my job to spend more time with my baby before he grows up and doesn't need me anymore. See...I think this is a crisis.
749041
Toni, you sure are doing it tough at the moment, my heart goes out to you.\n\nWhat an admiral effort you're making, to go out and work and support you and your bub. \n\nIt sounds to me like these people are jealous of your strength and determination, and you're right, they do want to see you fail.\n\nBut you know what? You're better than that. You've got guts and determination and that's something they can't take from you.\n\nIs there any way you can have someone else look after bub for you, so you don't have to involve them? Maybe a daycare centre or creche? A private babysitter perhaps?\n\nTry not to let them get you down, you're doing ok holding up on your own so far, keep on doing what you're doing, and you'll be just fine.\n\nYou go girlfriend.\n\nGood luck.
838200
oh honey! The very fact that you stop to think about the welfare of your kids and worry about leaving them with a babysitter shows you're not a bad Mum.\n\nIf you need the money then you have to work...sods law!\nAlthough there are plenty of work from home schemes these days. Make sure you double check them though - some will scam you as soon as look at you!\n\nMaybe try and find a careers advisor that can put you in touch with some work form home jobs/companies.\n\nMaybe Grandma could be persuaded to babysit once a week or so instead of 'Ashley'...?
82348
You don't have to worry about whether or not you can make it without him, do you? You're already doing everything on your own anyway, plus taking care of him (his laundry, cooking, s.e.x., etc). \nDoes he work? Doesn't sound like he has time if he's spending that much time on the PC. If he's not even working, then time to tell him to grow up and take on his responsibilities. I would give him say, 2 weeks to get a job or find somebody else to live off of. If he does work, then I'd sit him down or write him a letter explaining how I felt. Do not, whatever you do, start yelling. That will get you nowhere. Let him know that if things don't improve, then eventually, you'll get so sick of it that you will kick him out. Have you asked him what he would do if you decided to stay on the computer all the time and expected him to do everything? \nAnother idea: you could go on "strike" until he does get it and changes. Don't wash him laundry anymore, only yours and the baby's. Don't cook for him anymore, just for you and feed the baby. Don't do his dishes, don't do anything for him. When you've got his attention, I bet he'll listen if he is worth anything. Don't demand he give up the computer completely, but apparently he needs some reasonable time limits.
980644
You are gonna have a hard time until the kids are all older, and his job doesn't help with things...\n\nJust accept that at the moment, stuff isn't going to work properly and deal with that... As for sex, well, you are in trouble there...
660708
The tough choice in life, i was in a similar situation a long time ago, the first question is, do you have a good support system or the father of your children that can help take care of your children temporarily till you get your life together, it seems from this letter that you have to prioritize with  what you have to do before you end up homeless. My only suggestion is survival and a strong will get you through, and only you can help yourself even if there are tough decision you have to make in order to survive.  always, empathy in CT
1143673
My word.  That is a lot of people and stress.   Is it possible for you to move into a place away or maybe down the road form your relatives, just to get you out of the chaos?  There are usually places that offer low/reduced rent for fixed incomes.   Maybe your children can do things to help around the house so when you come home you have some peace and don't feel like you have to race around and clean, cook, do laundry etc.  Good luck.