How do i find a motivation after my brothers death to go back to work ?
146568
I have never had this personally happen to me, but if I were you I would ask myself this "If she left you in a desperate time of need is she really worth wanting back"? To me it seems as if you left you when things got too hard for her. Not really keeping your feelings in mind. Kinda seems selfish. \nNow I am a outside party and I dont know how bad your depression got. Some people can handle situations such as this others just dont know what to do.\nI am truly sorry for your loss.
1009987
mate try and look at the positives in your life find something that you enjoy that you can do that doent end with you hurting yourself, i should know my dad died and my step dad left us while cheating on my mum, lives for livin mate not diein
179240
I'm so sorry to hear this. Well i know how you feel i have gone through 4 loved ones deaths. It will be hard to go through, what i love to do was surround my self with friends and family, and remember the person who just passed on. ITs good to cry, makes you feel better. Sometimes writing can help. but i blive that friends and family around is the best thing, they can cheer you!!! I am praying for you and god bless you all. im so sorry!
650402
Be careful what you wish for. You might get it.  My little brother was killed in Iraq, and trust me, I would give just about anything to have him back--even for just a few minutes.  Be happy you have her.  As much as it may suck sometimes, the alternative is much worse.
381103
I know what it feels to lose a beloved one.  My little brother died at age 6, in June 2001, and I still cry out for him, pray to him, but also smile for I know he is now in a better place, just like your son.  They're probably very good friends up there.  \n\nThink of Spring.  Spring is the first season of the year, the begining of new things, the birth of many living things.  Look at the mountains how green they look, the flowers how beautiful they are, the butterfly that just came out of the cub.  Later in the year it dies, but it is born again.  \n\nJust because your son is no longer with you, he is still in your heart.  Remember how he used to smile when you would tickle him?  Or when you would take him out for a walk, and he'd be smiling, looking around, runing?  Remember those happy moments with him and smile.  \n\nYour son lives in you.  He will always be with you, wherever you go. Look up at the sky at night, find the shiniest star, your son is watching you from above.  A bird that lands on your trees, and singing, looking at you...your son is there.  \n\nI pray for you, for strenght, courage, happyness, comfort, and blessings from high above.  Bless your heart!
285372
I am so sorry to hear about your loss.  Whatever you do - do something.  No matter how insignifcant whatever you do may seem to you at the moment - it will mean more than you can imagine to the family.  They understand the distance in miles associated with this loss.  God bless you and yours at this time!
591411
FOLLOW YOUR HEART....I know of some who was in the same postion you are in now...you knw what he did? he sold his house and his car and cashed in on a policy and started his own business...he is so much happier today. Sometimes all you need is a bit of support and encouragement from people who love you, but it has to be something YOU want to do....\n\nI wish you all the best of luck in your future plans...I'm sure you'll come to the right conclusion.
885812
Oh hon, I am so sorry for you loss. I lost my youngest son four years ago and he was only\n21 years old. The pain is huge. \n\nYour lost love will always be in your heart and you will have a scar. No one can lose someone so dear and not grieve over it.\n\nYou need to go through the phases of grief. Disbelief, anger, depression, quilt, acceptence and so on. You will gradually pull out of your grief. There will be times that you need to take an hour or a day to just fall apart. Then you will pull yourself together and surrive.\n\nHe will want you to do more than surrive. He wants you happy. He is in a place of peace.\nTo honor him, you need to find your joy again.\n\nTime to get rid of the quilt. Although it is normal to do so. I do it myself. I have to quickly pull myself out of the guilt. In reality neither you or myself have enough power to cause someones death. so, please let go of the guilt.\n\nHave you gotten counseling?\n\nOpen up your heart to love again, \n\nDo your lost love a favor and live the rest of your life with joy and hope. That will honor his memory more than anything.\n\nI have to remind myself of my son's sense of humor and I have to be happy because he wouldn't be pleased if I ruined my own life because of his death. He is in a place of peace and joy.\n\nHon, you can love again.Open your heart.\nGive yourself times to grieve then give youself more time to live. As time goes on the grief will lesson. \n\nIf you  need medication for depression or anxiety go ahead and use it.\n\nHang in there and look for the silver linning in life/
384109
I'm sorry you lost your father in such a tragic way. You never get over it, you just learn how to deal with it. I would go to a bereavement therapist or I would join a bereavement group in your area. It sounds like you have a lot of pain and you really need to vent instead of holding it all inside. May God bless you and may you find comfort in this hard time. Don't feel because it was 16 years ago, that you shouldn't grieve.
798686
The loss of a parent is devestating.  I lost both of mine, my father as a child and my mother in my 20s.  Your sister is grieving right now, she doesn't need to be "pushed" into anything.  What she needs is your love and support and encouraging words. If she isn't ready to go back to school or feels she won't find a job with her skills suggest she try doing a little volunteer work for a cause that interests her - animals, babies, senior citizens, battered women, homeless people, there are volunteers needed everywhere doing a variety of things!\nIf you can get her interested in volunteering a few hours a week, it will be a start so when she is ready to either go to school or get into the work force she will have something to write on her resumes.
577261
I am a school kid and i know exactly how your son feels, i have no motivation towards my work whatsoever. The only way i can focus on my work is to have everything taken from me. It's not that i doon't want to learn it's just i can't be bothered. So what i would do is ask him if he is actually bothered about his future. If he says he is then tell him that you will take everyhting that he thinks might distract him because then you will be on "his side" but if he says that he isn't bothered about his future then take everyhting away from him anyway so then he will do his work from pure boredom. Dopn't forget to stick to what you say otherwise he won't pay any attention to what you say in the future. I'd also use the technique of restricting the days which he can go out with his friends on, maybe to days at the weekend as usually during the week nobody wants to go out anyway so restricting to weekend wont really affect him but he will think it will and then he will want to work so he can have the rest of the week off.
631360
you just really need totalk to someone. i lost a frien to suicide unfortunately i was in the room when it happened. i know how hard it is. i also had to attend 23 funerals in 10 months jst a few years ago between friends and family i wasn't surei wold make it either i really felt like my world was caving in on me. the thing that got me throgh it was my husband he always talked me through things, to this day he still makes sure i don't forget thememories of those friends and family members. one other thing i did was write letters to the people i was closest to especially my mom when i was feeling as you are now. i've read them at later times some i just keep in a box. good luck and please talk to someone!
330926
You need to ask yourself what is it that doesn't please me? What is it in my life that is pulling me down so much? Is this guy what I really want or is he just filling in till I find something better? Then you need to quit blaming your X's death on yourself. He made that choice, he didn't half to but he did it. If I was you I would get into a church group or a social group and talk to someone that is specialized in this and maybe talking to them can help you understand things better.
725661
The worst thing in the world is to lose a child and I am very sorry for your loss and your parents loss.  \n\nIt is going to take time for your parents to heal but they will never get over your brother's death, however you can do some things to make it easier for them to function.  \n\nYou can be kind and try to help out at home and listen to them when they want to talk.  Do you have siblings besides you brother?  \n\nYou need to keep your parents involved in your life and try to strive for excellence in all you do to make them proud.
1073275
Well thank you for being the more Christlike person in trying to do it all yourself and not giving up because your brother doesn't want to do the work.  But it does need to change because your brother should be helping too.  Tell him that charity is a virtue and that charity brings happiness.  I believe he would be more happy if he helped those around him . . . and himself.  Maybe reward him for helping out with something sometimes.  Give him incentives to do better.
215396
found out what motivates you. Find something you like to do and enjoy it.\n\nNow if you are talking about being lazy at work, think about your boss firing you for not doing your job.
751671
If you're religious, have faith.  If you're not religious still have faith that something will come through.  You deserve something special for all the things you've done for your family.  Keep hunting for jobs because that is all that you can do and eventually someone will recognize your contributions.  Hang in there.