Will sombody tell me a really funny joke please???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
143487
5 facts of life\n \n 1. The badness of a movie is directly proportional to the number of helicopters in it.\n \n 2. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight-saving time.\n \n 3. People who feel the need to tell you that they have an excellent sense of humor are telling you that they have no sense of humor.\n \n 4. The most valuable function performed by the federal government is entertainment.\n \n 5.  You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.\n \n 6. A penny saved is worthless.\n \n 7. They can hold all the peace talks they want, but there will never be peace in the Middle East.  Billions of years from now, when Earth is hurtling toward the Sun and there is nothing left alive on the planet except a few microorganisms, the microorganisms living in the Middle East will be bitter enemies.\n \n 8. The most powerful force in the universe is gossip.\n \n 9. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status, or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we all believe that we are above-average drivers.\n \n 10. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age 11.\n \n 11. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."\n \n 12. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.\n \n 13. There apparently exists, somewhere in Los Angeles, a computer that generates concepts for television sitcoms.  When TV executives need a new concept, they turn on this computer; after sorting through millions of possible plot premises, it spits out, "THREE QUIRKY BUT ATTRACTIVE YOUNG PEOPLE LIVING IN AN APARTMENT," and the executives turn this concept into a show.  The next time they need an idea, the computer spits out, "SIX QUIRKY BUT ATTRACTIVE YOUNG PEOPLE LIVING IN AN APARTMENT." Then the next time, it spits out, "FOUR QUIRKY BUT ATTRACTIVE YOUNG PEOPLE LIVING IN AN APARTMENT."  And so on. We need to locate this computer and destroy it with hammers.\n \n 14. Nobody is normal.\n \n 15. At least once per year, some group of scientists will become very excited and announce that: * The universe is even bigger than they thought! * There are even more subatomic particles than they thought! * Whatever they announced last year about global warming is wrong.\n \n 16. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings."\n \n 17. The main accomplishment of almost all organized protests is to annoy people who are not in them.\n \n 18. The value of advertising is that it tells you the exact opposite of what the advertiser actually thinks. For example:  * If the advertisement says "This is not your father's Oldsmobile," the advertiser is desperately concerned that this Oldsmobile, like all other Oldsmobiles, appeals primarily to old farts like your father. * If Coke and Pepsi spend billions of dollars to convince you that there are significant differences between these two products, both companies realize that Pepsi and Coke are virtually identical. * If the advertisement strongly suggests that Nike shoes enable athletes to perform amazing feats, Nike wants you to disregard the fact that shoe brand is unrelated to athletic ability. * If Budweiser runs an elaborate advertising campaign stressing the critical importance of a beer's "born-on" date, Budweiser knows this factor has virtually nothing to do with how good a beer tastes.\n \n 19. If there really is a God who created the entire universe with all of its glories, and He decides to deliver a message to humanity, He will not use, as His messeng
323395
Ha Ha Ha Ha....Good joke..lol
1111244
This one is on the front page at eBaumsWorld.com: \nMike goes into an elevator, looks up and sees this great big huge guy standing next to him. The big guy sees the little guy staring at him, looks down and says, "7 feet tall, 350 lbs, 20 inch penis, testicles 3 lbs each, Turner Brown." Mike just faints dead away and falls to the floor. The big dude kneels down and brings him to, by slapping his face and shaking him. He asks, "Are you OK??" In a very weak voice Mike says, "Excuse me, but what did you just say to me?" The big dude says, "When I saw the curious look on your face, I just figured I'd give you the answers to the questions everyone always asks me. "I'm 7 feet tall, weigh 350 lbs, have a 20 inch penis, my testicles weigh 3 lbs each, and my name is Turner Brown." Mike said, "Oh Thank God!!! I thought you said 'Turn Around!'"
1183872
Read this joke for a change.....\n\nA couple was golfing one day on a very, very exclusive golf course, lined with million dollar houses. On the third tee the husband said, 'Honey, be very careful when you drive the ball don't knock out any windows. It'll cost us a fortune to fix.' The wife teed up and shanked it right through the window of the biggest house on the course. \n\nThe husband cringed and said, 'I told you to watch out for the houses. Alright, let's go up there, apologize and see how much this is going to cost.' \n\nThey walked up, knocked on the door, and heard a voice say, 'Come on in.' They opened the door and saw glass all over the floor and a broken bottle lying on its side in the foyer. A man on the couch said, 'Are you the people that broke my window?' \n'Uh, yeah. Sorry about that.' the husband replied.\n\n'No, actually I want to thank you. I'm a genie that was trapped for a thousand years in that bottle. You've released me. I'm allowed to grant three wishes - I'll give you each one wish, and I'll keep the last one for myself.' \n\n'OK, great!' the husband said. ' I want a million dollars a year for the rest of my life.' 'No problem - it's the least I could do. \n\nAnd you, what do you want?' the genie said, looking at the wife. 'I want a house in every country of the world,' she said. 'Consider it done.' the genie replied. 'And what's your wish, genie?', the husband said. \n\n'Well, since I've been trapped in that bottle, I haven't made love to a woman in a thousand years. My wish is to sleep with your wife.' The husband looks at the wife and said, 'Well, we did get a lot of money and all those houses, honey. I guess I don't care.' The genie took the wife upstairs and ravished her for two hours. After it was over, the genie rolled over, looked at the wife, and said, 'How old is your husband, anyway?'\n'35.' she replied. 'And he still believes in genies?....That's amazing.'
880198
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhaahahhahaha....dats da gr8es joke ive heard in centuries...gud one...
327049
So my first reaction was that this joke was kinda cheesy, but when I tried to tell it to my dad, I started laughing so hard that I couldn't tell it any more.  Thanks for the great joke!  I hope you have more to tell us :)
548784
i like your jokes, your funny!!
809204
I actually got that one! LOLLOLLOLLOLLOL!!!!! Can you e-mail some other jokes to me like that one? my address is dogloverkm@yahoo.com   thanks!
855289
These jokes are sooooooooooooooooo bad
868030
hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha\n\nbest joke i have heard for a long time xx
1004198
http://www.callcentrehelper.com/jokes.htm\nhttp://forum.indya.com/archive/index.php?t-398.html
847131
LMAOO i absolutely LOVE this one!!!!\nu should post more..\nfrom one to ten...this one is a 9!!\nthanx soo much for the laugh!\n=]
873904
ROTFLMAOASTC LOL that is the best one i have heard all day LOL i am stil laughing at this LOL oh god i have tears in my eyes LOL you are too funny LOL
431962
A nice REFRESHING joke. LOL
995620
Go here:\n\nhttp://yahooligans.yahoo.com/content/jokes/
787337
hahahaha........very funny1.....clever man...........LOL
804133
its gotta be the best joke on here if we could give a best question i would give it to you???????????