How do I get rid of a power struggle in the relationship with my boyfriend?
153994
Ask yourself if what you're struggling over is worth it. Is it worth your happiness/relationship?\n\nIf it's not submit to him on that matter, if it doesn't greatly negatively impact your life or morals. If it is talk to him and tell him why this matter is so important to you.\n\nOr talk to him in a calm and rational matter (no screaming) and come upon a decision and understanding that both of you are comfortable with. If no decision or understanding can be reached, seriously consider leaving the relationship.
1044301
Well you could try explaining to them how it makes you feel and how it affects you. You may need to speak with them separately and when they are calm, Tell them how it makes you feel and that it hurts to hear them fighting and arguing as you love them both. It may help calm the disagreements, but it probably will not eliminate them.
952995
Really your not fighting, your probably just bickering. Its like adult going pains especially if you just moved in together. My fiance and I were the same way. I even gave my ring back!!! but we went to a communication specialist (couples therapist) and learned some tricks to communicating. I know its hard and you start thinking that things won't work out, but if you are truly meant to be, you'll be OK.  We had all the same issues you mentioned.Try this, sit and talk it out, if one of you is a blabber use a 5 min timer so you don't get off track of the topic at hand. Don't allow yourselves to deviate off topic nothing gets solved that way. Each of you should list your gripes with each other and go through the list,pick a time where you can really talk( no TV, no phones).  It will take a few tries before you can get through it with out yelling. No name calling and no blameing, start sentences like "going foward  blah blah blah"Cleaning? write up all the chores that need to get done and you together, divvy them up, then once chores are committed to on paper, its a non issue. The hard thing is  understanding that you don't get everything you want anymore it's all about 50/50( which sucks sometimes, but that's life) And there is no shame in meeting with somebody once a week if that's what you guys need, its not easy, it's one of the most stressful times in  your life. In some cases your insurance will cover it under adult therapy or under the the wide range of depression (even though its not,they just bill it that way and its legit because the situation makes you sad and stressed, don't feel labeled as depressed). Best of luck to you both
495858
Sounds like a communication problem.  If you want this relationship to survive and grow you two need to sit down and come up with a plan to deal with these issue and any others you have.  Some times people who argue and complain a lot just need to have a set way to communicate those things in a helpful manner instead of the current method which is destructive.
564523
Your 'creature' is controlling you! This is NOT a good relationship, nor is it healthy for either one of you. Draw the line now! Speak to whomever you want. If he gets mad, tell him, "Goodbye." Short, swift, and mean what you say. Don't wishy wash on this, or you will be in for some serious problems from now on. It will escalate to beating, abuse, you name it. You are in a bad relationship that is not going to get better.
381068
Sometimes it's easier pointing out our partners flaws then our own.But we all have them. Tell him that the situation opened your eyes on seeing how he felt towards it and ask him to forgive you. In the end he'll do the same even if it takes a while. Just note that every time you have an argument remember whats important like when you first met and how you would get those butterflies in you stomach and just reminisce. It really helps ease the situation and it reminds you that arguing with someone that you care that much about is stupid.
374552
Seems to me the best way to address the situation is to be forthright and talk to him about your concerns.  If your decision is to move on to find someone more accessible to you, then say that.  There is no real way to break up with someone that won't result in hurt feelings.  But to be true to yourself and the most fair to your boyfriend, tell him how you feel and what you want.  Personally, I would recommend doing it face to face, even though it may be uncomfortable.  You may want to continue seeing one another after talking about it, but if it does end, be able to step away knowing that in the long run it may be the best thing for your both.
392810
pick and choose your battles. life is too short to bicker over ridiculous sh*t. when he is being an a** kill him with kindness or act like you can't be bothered with his silly commentary. problem is you all are around each other 24/7 and you'll drive each other nuts no matter how compatible. if you can be be apart for several hours out of the day or go stay at your mom's over nite it'll make you all miss each other and realize the good things about each other. but seriously you need to get some wheels and get your independence back! that'll make a huge difference!good luck!
692771
Money is the number one issue for arguments in most of all relationships.  If you live together and share bills, I think the best thing to do is set up a dollar amounts for which you both deserve a say in , for instance purchases over $100.00.  All other purchase can come out of an " allowance that you both have weekly or monthly.  That has saved a lot of unnecessary fighting in my own relationship.  \nIt is best to get this problem resolved early if marriage is even remotely in your future.  Money problems have been known to cause a lot of divorces.  It is also a matter of trust. \nGood luck
556149
If the relationship is good except for these stubborn pointss try and work the relationship out. Try and help each other to become less stubborn. Also give it time and trying talk to each other. Even though it may end up going down the same path theres a chance that the stubborness can be ironed out. Overall if he can't see your point of view then its not really  a two way relationship.
27761
If it is shaky, then do not make it better.  Make it real.\nTalk.  Talk a lot.\nIf talking does not improve the relationship, then so be it.\nIf talking does improve what is happening then find out what else you need to talk about.\nIf there are areas that the two of you avoid talking about, those are your problem areas.  Either find out how to talk about them or find someone else.
1172274
Have a sit down put all the cards on the table. Key word here is honesty can't have anything without it. Good luck. Hope it works out for ya. Sorry had to rush out the other night late for work, but as i was saying you have to figure out what causes all this hostility. You said both of you have done things you weren't proud of. So that tells me there are some unresolved issues here. That could bee the root of the whole problem. Advoiding a situation because it's uncomfortable doesn't make it go away. Hope this helps
229939
NOBODY DESERVES TO BE IN THAT KIND OF RELATIONSHIP WITH TRUST ISSUES. IF YOU GUYS REALLY LOVE EACH OTHER THEN YOU TWO HAVE TO STAY STRONG AND DON'T GIVE UP ON EACH OTHER. TELL HIM EVERYTHING THAT IS ON YOUR MIND AND JUST LET HIM KNOW THAT IT WILL BE OVER IF YOU HAVE TO ACCUSE HIM FOR DOING SOMETHING. TELL HIM TO BE HONEST AND IF HE WANTS TO LEAVE GIRL YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE TO BE STRONG AND LET GO . YOU DON'T WANT TO BE WITH HIM IF HE IS GOING TO TREAT YOU LIKE 2ND'S YOU NEED TO BE FIRST . SO GOOD LUCK AND STAY A STRONG WOMAN
322011
First, let go of the fear and trust him.  He will pick up on it and begin to think that you do not trust him.\n   The most important part to any relationship is communication.  It is extremely important for both of you to feel you can go to your partner with any problem, issue or desire, and have an open mind listen to you.  Many relationship fail because there is a lack of communication between partners.  They do not express if they are feeling lonely, unloved, sexually unsatisfied, etc.  If you can communicate these things with each other, talk out and compromise your differences and needs, then that is a huge step to keeping your relationship alive and healthy.\n   Always remember to keep your individualism, while at the same time knowing that you can depend on your partner to be there when you need them.  Don't be afraid though to rely on your partner to help you if you need it.\n   Enjoy each other each and every day as if it might be your last, because in this fragile thing we call life, it could be.  Love each other every day as much as you can.  \n   Most importantly, trust him and your love.  If he truly loves you he will not do anything like that to you.\n\nPeace, luck and love
483757
Always talk to him. If you keep things inside and dont resolve, it might create misunderstandings. Be sure to listen to him to and to think positively together
512698
BUT NOTHING! There's no sense and no reason to go through life arguing and unhappy! Gurl, life is too short! You need to figure out WHY you two argue so much! Figure that out then find out how to eliminate it. Second, no one ever accomplished anything arguing. As women we know men know how to push buttons (and visa verse), but we make a mistake, by giving them what they want a retaliation against them, they win! Next, time you two get into it, if it person walk off on the phone say you know what I'm going to talk to you later and hang up. If you still continue to argue after taking this advice. I don't know what to say except maybe it's best to split. Some ppl just can't be together. Communication is essential and discovering out the root cause of the problem and eliminating it is key. Good Luck to you both!
570283
dont feel guilty.\nits none of their monkey business\nface this one of a kind challenge in your life\nlet the people know how much you love your boyfriend\ndefend your relationship.