How do I get out of my shyness?
152483
I have the same problem...I usually tend to be very normal with the people I know....but when it comes to new people or strangers I shy out...so just pretend that you know the person...not literly though
982770
I feel your pain--I was so shy when I was your age I would panic if someone talked to me, or a friend called me on the phone.  It was terrible.\n\nI am not sure by your question if you are wanting to overcome your shyness, but what I did was started reading books (back then we didnt have the internet) on public speaking, making friends, what to say in social settings, how to make small talk, etc.  I also read up on self esteem building, and many years later I feel comfortable in public settings, and also have done several public speaking engagements in my field.\n\nI am not saying you should NOT be shy or change how you are.  If you are comfortable with who you are, and your friends are not, then find friends who respect you for who you are.  I chose to overcome my shyness because it really was limiting my life.\n\nGood luck!  You have a great life ahead of you!
449208
Great communicators/conversationists know how to ask questions and LISTEN with interest to the answers. If you are quiet by nature, you are ahead of the game, unlikely to be inclined to blubber idiotically. Stop trying to overcome your 'shyness' and stop worrying about what YOU have to say. It's the fear of being rejected that trips you up. \n\nLearn to listen. The right words --- the ones 'outgoing' people usually can't utter --- will come when you stop worrying about what YOU have to say and just listen quietly. Try it out and tell me it doesn't change how you view your 'social self.' \n\nGood luck!
475546
I know how you feel. I used be like that too. I used to hate getting into conversations with people and I would blush and get so nervous!\n\nI still get like that a bit nowadays, but now way near as bad. It never goes, you just learn to deal with it and learn to accept it.\n\nDo you have any hobbies? Such as going to Martial arts lessons, or dancing classes, etc? You will find that going to these places will really help your confidence and also you will get to meet new people - people in the same situation as you; a beginner in the class, a bit nervous - and so you have common grounding and have something you can both talk about.\n\nRemember that you are not alone with this problem. There are hundreds and thousands of people out there just like you! It's just that they are too shy and nervous to approach people just like you, so you never get to meet them... think about it!\n\nAnd the friend thing, don't worry about that. I can count the number of true friends on 3 of my fingers - anyone who says they have loads of friends, they are lying. You may have acquaintances and 'mates' but true friends are very hard to come by.\n\nYou must also learn to enjoy your own company. Learn to love yourself, and you will feel happier inside. The friends will come naturally, you can't force friendships!!!\n\nGood Luck.\n\nJulie
665084
Yeah...it's hard to be outgoing when people already assume you're going to be shy. I was voted Most Shy when I was a senior in high school, but I marched over to the yearbook room and told them flat out that I didn't want it and they could give it to the runner up. Because, despite what the snobby popular kids who decide these things thought, I was past my shy era by then. I'd grown out of it.\n\nI HAD always been shy. In middle school and early high school, I was just quiet and I didn't like being the center of attention. I din't know who I was yet, I guess, and I just never had the confidence. I didn't think I was interesting enough to have people like me.\n\nWhen I was about 15 or 16, I suddenly came to the realization of what I wanted to go to college for (to be a game warden...an outdoor cop) and that changed everything. I think having a really strong interest like that made me come out of my shell. Maybe it was the fact that I was interested in telling everyone about it that did it. And it might have been Lord of the Rings...because I became really obsessed with it about then.......perhaps having those two obsessions just made me so eager to talk about them that I quit being shy. I'm not sure.....anyway, I'd start talking up in class more, and I'd have debates with people where before I'd just let them win.\n\nI'm not sure how this pertains to you...I guess the way to get over being shy is NOT by doing some outrageous stunt. That'll make people notice you, perhaps, but that's affecting THEM, not you. It makes them see you, but doesn't make YOU more outgoing. Instead, try to change yourself, not them. Smile at EVERYONE. Make eye contact with people, and say hello and smile at everyone you see. Speak up in class, and say things to people you don't even know. Like, if youre walking down the hallway and you see someone with cool shoes or something, tell them as you walk past, "Hey, cool shoes!" You don't have to extend the conversation...it's just a way of talking to more people. The more people you verbalize with, the better. If it helps, you can do something that makes you stand out, but without being obnoxious. Like...wear brighter colors so that you're more noticeable. Maybe wear bright blue socks everyday, so that people actually have something to relate with you. Having people think of you as, "That person with the socks" is better than them ignoring you completely.\n\nAnd the number one point: confidence. Stop worrying about what THEY think, instead realize that you're your own person, and they should like you for that. Learn to LAUGH. When people see that you laughing and smiling, they'll see that you're not shy anymore. And don't forgetm it's OK to be wierd. You're defined by what makes you different.\n\nGood luck!
280252
go somewhere u have something on common with other ppl and say hi i know ur shy but trust me i used to b shy till i made it though college and got tired of it surprisingly ppl dont mind you talking to them as long as u have something in common \n\n\noh there is some pill for it too (imagine that) but seriously its for ppl with social anxiety disorder
447686
I found drama really helped me get over my shyness.  If you're in highshcool take a drama class.  If you're out of highschool, look into a theatre company and audition.  Even if you don't make it, the simple fact that you auditioned infront of -people- will slowly help you
982492
Don't worry about it, a drama class it the best place to be to get rid of your shyness, your teacher should be able to show you techniques to help with your shyness and your probably not the only one in class who's shy, stick with the class and be brave.
246713
relax and be urself. u will feel less shy later
1079186
First, make the decision that you are not going to be shy.  Believing that you are shy, or somehow not as worthy as others around you will make you continue to be shy.\n\nSecond, start slowly, by giving yourself an assignment.  Try making small talk to one new person.  Practice at home when you are alone, so you have some things ready to say.\n\nThird, try finding an activity that interests you, so you will meet people with the same interest.  Then you have a topic to start talking about.\n\nThat is how I overcame my shyness.  (It also helped when I turned forty and stopped caring what other people thought about me!)
146423
Well you brought it up...so to you it is a "problem". Id bet you have no girlfriend because your shy. Being shy is ok...letting it define you actions is letting it go to far. Make a deal w/yourself (or your shyness). When you want to move forward with somthing (or someone), Like: This is to important to me to pass-up and think about it no further, say hi, ask about THEM and give yourself a pause to take in how that person responds to you. Youll learn and get accustom to haveing nerves...they can turn to stainless steel if you keep learning and refining. As far as the outcome goes...your guess is as good as mine. They only thing you do is conduct yourself. You can start small or you can start BIG...how do you know what those are? The one that sends you  spinning...ThaTs the big one! Take on those and live through the outcome...youll become King. It takes time so pace yourself.
319320
Hi there!\n\nI was terribly shy all through elementary school, middle school and high school. I think the main causes for mine were partly it was my personality, but also we moved alot, my dad was in military and i suffered some serious abuse from a young age...\n\nThese are some things that helped me and I hope they help you. First, I forced myself to take a public speaking class in high school and to get a job dealing with the public. It was very scary at the time and hard, but it did help me to start overcoming the shyness. Don't stay away from social situations, place yourself in them so you get used to talking, socializing etc...\n\nDon't think you are weird or strange for being so shy. Many teenagers and grownups as well suffer from shyness to some extent. Mainly it is caused because we want to be liked, want to say the right thing and are afraid we won't. I know when i was a teenager i was very afraid of boys because i didn't know what to talk to them about, when i finally started talking to them i found out they weren't that much different from the girls i was talking too. As you get older, you tend to lose some of the shyness, because you are working, maturing, extending your experiences and with confidence developed out of those situations you lose that insecurity. \n\nI know that you must have hope. If you had seen how shy i was at your age (I couldn't even go to a store and make a purchase that is how bad it was). I never looked anyone in the eye, etc...And now I am 49 years old, never meet a stranger and a people person! \n\nMy friends say that people gravitate towards me and everyone likes me. You know why? Because i always remember how it felt to feel uncomfortable, shy and out of control/insecure - those feelings have made me an empathetic person and i try to put people at ease when we meet. I give them a big smile, am friendly, ask questions about them to show i am interested in them and this makes them feel good! So use your shyness as a tool. First, remember that we are all insecure and scared in certain situations - I mean how many people do you know that hate public speaking? We all want to be accepted and liked and then just get out there and take chances and try to turn your shyness around - don't worry only about you try to focus on the other person and make them feel at ease...see what happens!\nIdentify the reasons you think you are shy and wk on changing them as well...\nDon't give up you sound like a great person and it takes time.\n\nsincerely,\nalaska friend
291776
It's really hard to be shy, I know.  The best thing you can do is be yourself, always.  The next thing is eye contact and smile.  Eventually you will work up enough nerve to say "Hi".  You'd be surprised, a lot of guys really like shy girls!
329573
I am a shy person too, and most shy people want u to take it slow with them and don't push thing to far. Talk to her\nas a friend first and see what she enjoy. You might have something in comment with her and you may hit it off. Don't rush nothing
1057495
NO! I'm WAY too shy!!!!
187649
DEAR,\nMOST OF GIRLS FACE THESE PROBLEMS THEY WAY TO GET OUT IS:\n1. TALK TO HIM {IF POSSIBLE TRY AND IGNORE YOUR SHYNESS}\n2. TALK TO YOUR FRIENDS OR FAMILY ABOUT IT\n3. IGNORE HIM\n4. SHOW YOU HAVE SOMEONE ELSE IN YOUR LIFE
221877
Overcoming shyness is not easy, but can be done. I used to be really shy too, but I started hanging around people who were outgoing then myself and I started noticing the positive attention they gained by being outgoing. I just worked on walking up to people and introducing myself and I learned that if I want something I should ask, the worse someone can ever say is NO. \nPractice makes perfect, the more you do it, the easier it gets. :D\nI now have lots of nice friends and I have been out on a lot dates. :)\n\nOh and as far as getting a boy to notice you. Don't overcome your shyness just for that. :) \n\nThe best way to get someone to notice you is just by being yourself. :)\nGo up to him, start off with a simple hello. :) Introduce yourself. \nLittle by little and believe me, it will take a snowball effect, before you know it, you just may have yourself a nice friend,if not, well, there are many others out there. :D\n\nHope it helped good luck