My brother and sister won't listen to me, what do i do?
148908
Talk to your parents about it and see if they will tell your siblings that you are the responsible one in their absence and that they need to respect you.  They of course will need to back you up if your brother and/or sister do not listen to you.\n\nYou can also reward their good behavior and withhold your attention when they are being bad to you.
236894
Unfortunately, this is a very common problem.  Don't write off your other siblings just yet, but take a little time to establish exactly what the situation is.  There are usually 5 basic reasons why siblings won't help.  \n1.  They have a poor relationship with the parent who needs care.  \n2.  They have a poor relationship with you.  \n3.  They don't really understand how serious the problem is.  \n4.  They have serious problems in their own life and just can't help.\n5.  They just don't care (unusual).\n\nContact your nearest geriatric social worker (if you don't know how to do this, ask at your local health centre) and ask for a needs assessment for your parent and a provisional care plan.  This puts the care problems in black and white and deals with issue 3.  \n\nNext, call a family meeting if possible, and give them all the information you have gathered.  If you and your siblings have fallen out, ask your social worker or someone unbiased from outside the family to chair the meeting and make sure it doesn't turn into a shouting match.  If you think a meeting wouldn't work, ask this unbiased person to approach each sibling individually and make sure they understand the facts.  \nIf the siblings have a problem with your parent, emphasise that they need to help YOU.  \nIf they have a problem with you, emphasise that they need to help your PARENT.\nOnce everyone has a clear picture of the problem, establish what each person is able, or willing, to take responsibility for.  If they can't give time to care for your parent and give you a break, they can give money to pay for a professional carer or they can cook a meal once or twice a week to free you from that chore or clean the house, do the laundry, once a week etc etc.  It's really amazing how much a small, practical piece of help can lift some weight off your shoulders.\nTry, also, to listen to your siblings and take on board their views on the situation.  They don't live with the parent, so they don't know what it's like for you.  But equally, you are perhaps too close to the situation to have a true perspective on it and they may have some valuable insights to give you.  \nFinally, if the deal is basically that you will look after the parent because you will inherit the house or money, then you have to reduce your expectations of what your siblings should do - that's life and that's the deal.\nIf none of this works with your siblings, take every bit of help that social services can give you, find out what's available and pester them until you get it - be polite but persistent.  \nMake use of any networks around you - neighbours, your parent's friends who are still active, church or social clubs your parent belongs to or belonged to - any of these may be able and willing to 'granny-sit' your parent for an hour or two and let you get some 'me' time, or they may give some other practical help.\nI'm speaking from hard personal experience.  I looked after my mother for seven years until her death.  She had dementia and was wheelchair-bound and incontinent for the last four years.  There were many times when I felt so lonely, tired and hopeless.  There were also many, many rows with my siblings - especially at the start - but with clear and open communication we managed to work it out and in the end it made our family closer.  It's a long hard road to help someone down the road to their ending, but it's also a gift and a privelege and I wouldn't change those seven years for anything - it's when I really became an adult.  Good luck, and remember that you don't have to be the perfect daughter, you just have to do your best and take all the help and all the breaks you can get.
192618
tell her you need a little space.\nor perhaps that you moved to canada.\n\nbut i just try to avoid them.\nlike if i'm on the phone with them and i don't want to talk very long, i tell my mom to yell at me to get off the phone.\nthen act all bummed that i have to get off the phone with them.\nalso, if they want me to go somewhere with them or do something, i tell them my mom said that i can't.  and pretend to be mad at her.\n\ntrust me, it works.
447076
Be adult about it and just ignore them. They are trying to upset you and you are allowing it.
972495
Have you spoken to your brother about it? Tell him just how you feel. Tell him how uncomfortable you are and ask him to speak to his friend.
1169682
I AGREE I AM GOING THROUGH THE SAME THING WITH MY SISTER SHES ALWAYS JUDGING ME SAYING THAT I DONT CARE ABOUT HER I HAVE ACCEPTED HER BUT SHE DOESNT SEEM TO ACCEPT ME FOR ME... ALL I CAN SAY IS THAT THEY JUST DO BUT IT DOESNT MAKE THEM RIGHT JUST PRAY FOR THEM TO UNDERSTAND HOW YOU FEEL .. TELL THEM HOW YOU FEEL... I HAVE DONE THAT TO MY SISTER UNFORTUNATELY ITS NOT WORKED WHEN I HAVE TOLD HER HOW SHE MAKES ME FEEL... BUT WITH PRAYERWARDS THOSE PPL WHO DONT EXCEPT YOU... JUST PRAY... FOR UNDERSTANDING AND JUST BE PATIENT THATS WHAT I HAVE BEEN DOING WITH MY SISTER..
1107777
I guess you learned the hard way that you can't bad mouth family to family.\n\nI don't like lying, so I can't tell you to keep it up, best to just say, "sorry for the misunderstanding" if she says anything. Then, keep your mouth shut around the brother!
763768
What were they thinking? You have a brother. How cool is that? What to do from here? I would ask your sisters why they didn't tell you. Don't be too quick to be pissed yet. There may be a reason. I can't think of any but give them a chance. Have they been good sisters in the past or have they always left you out? Take your time and get your ducks in a row. It would be great to find out he is a real nice guy that anyone would love to have as a brother. You don't have to hurry or rush to judgment. I sure hope things work out. Good Luck.
87560
If you're really frustrated living there, I would look into a different living situation, if financially possible.  Maybe live with friends/roommates if money's an issue. (That seems to be the main reason most ppl live with family.)\n\nBut while you're still there, work on communication with them.  Suggest a time when you guys can talk, and tell them about your concerns.  Using the "I" language helps reduce defensive behavior.  So, instead of saying "You never listen to me", try saying "I feel I'm not being listened to".  The first version can come out sounding accusatory, whether you mean it or not.  They'll hear the second version as you communicating your feelings.  \n\nGood luck!
338082
ignore them or just simply tell them to leave you alone. if that doesnt work then maybe just giving the cold shoulder will give them the hint.
425710
hope it will help..it does appear simple to do but maybe hard to accomplished..but check this out !!= )\n"they knows your brothers..but they don't know you..."\nwhat not to hang out with your brothers for a while..and see how it goes..if you still have the same kind of answers\n..then..try to avoid all of them ..while walking ,eating..etc..with your brothers..and you see his friends..or who else..(who use to ignored you...)approaching and get there to talk..etc.. in front of them you really show them ( ex; get in front of your brothers and say..see you later guys..quietly and on smother motion kinda..and do not look the others...and go!)to show them you're leaving before they get to say anything.....now after you had did this few time..(give the time that they noticed what  you are doing...)someone should realize that and acknowledge your presence and include you as the sister!!as a respected person...that they can also talk too...( but make sure your brothers..still cool with that..because some brothers are really protective..and wont like they friends..or..getting friendly with their sister).so keep it cool with both side...:still cool with your brothers and only keep it cool with the others once they acknowledge you!! okay..hope it helps!!
1124955
I think you already gave yourself the answer.  Stop doing favors for someone who is ungrateful.  Don't be giving her money anymore.  Hang up on her if she is unpleasant on the phone.  Leave if you are together and she gets mean.\n\nIn other words, make it clear you aren't her doormat and you won't take it anymore.\n\nYes you can ignore her if you have to.  Families have a way of healing in time but first you have to break this bad pattern.\n\nDon't let your mom guilt you into putting up with it.  If your sister tries to use your parents to guilt you into doing what she wants, explain the situation to them and tell them you aren't going to be her dog anymore.\n\nYou are only suffering because you allow it to continue.
1082485
I think it is very difficult to witness to your own brothers or sisters. \n\nBecause your life is under constant watch by them. \n\nHaving said that, now I have a proposed solution for you. \n\nOne, pray and ask God to make your brother's heart tender. \n\nSecond, let go and let God deal with them. Sometimes, that means God will use other people, such as your uncle or your pastor, or even circumstances in order to draw your brother closer to Him. The result is what you would expect, and God will get all the glory. \n\nThird, be more concern about pleasing the Lord in other area, that my friend, will become your testimony to your brother. Sometimes, words which are spoken with action have more impact than the ones which are spoken without action.
911150
The more you show him that this word upsets you, the more he'll say it. He knows it pushes your buttons. Hey, he's a little brother. That's the way they are. It's their job to snitch on you, copy everything you say & do, and find words that annoy you. Unfortunately, if he's not listening to your good counsel about keeping his yap shut, someone will do it for him, relieving you of all responsibility. So, if you've told him, and you've told your parents, your job's done. Let the chips fall where they will. And don't allow him to see that it bothers you. This works well on all the other stuff that he's been annoying you with too. How do I know this? I'm a little sister, though grown up now. <*)))><
882947
I would let your brother deal with her since you don't want her to come between you two.  That could potentially happen if you confront her directly and your brother picks her side.  Talk to him about what he is going to do about his wretched wife.  In answer to your other question people do sometimes change for the worse but usually they were bad to begin with and just hid it until they were comfortably ensconced.
328186
Neither one of you did anything wrong.  This happens from time to time to family members.  Just tell her it's not a big deal and that you will try not to forget to close the door every again.  Tell her sorry for forgetting to close the door.  The bigger a deal you make of it the bigger a deal it will become.  If your sister sees that you are OK and it's not bothering you then she will begin to do the same.\nThis has happened to me and my brother who is older than I am a few times.  We blew it off as no big deal.  We are both still to this day OK.  Neither one of us is in a loonie farm or anything like that.\nThe longer you put off talking to her the harder it will be to get back to normal.  So go and tell her, "Hi there"  If she brings it up just tell her, "Oh no biggie, Sorry I forgot to close the door."\nDon't fret it
1028512
Tell them the movies shes watching,and hthe rating of the movie and how it is not suitable for her to watch nevertheless put your self in the situation saying if my sister told this thing to you about me you'll would have totally taken action but how come its different with me?\n\nI totally hope you understood that lol,keep on at it and even show the ,movie to them if possible,show her that she cant get special treatment as she is doing something wrong.\n\nAnd when u scoold ur sis and she complaints somehow bring her major faults into it showing that she is a hipocrit(i know i spelt it wrong lol)..keep on at it and ull win sooner or later im sure they'll get tired of it and just to please u they'll take action lol