I am too shy, afraid of public talking. Will I be able success in life with all these barriers?
153475
You need to practice at home socializing and gradually build up. Spending years worrying or overthinking situations will only cause you to stress out when they happen. It's not a disease, rather something you have to get comfortable with. At young young ages most kids are super shy and hide with their mothers when strangers come. Later they're shy to go to school with all the other kids, leaving their moms side. They just grow out of it with social practice.
795597
I really wonder if deep down you are afraid.   You want this success but are you nervous as to whether you are capable.  Do you have self doubt?  If this is the case then write out a step by step plan and take that first step.   Three years from now where would you like to be?  How will you feel if you are not there or at another place where you feel content with yourself?\n\nIt sounds like you need to do some confidence building first.   You really can reach your goals but you have to be brave and begin the journey and when the journey gets tough....you get tough too.\n\nGood luck
227786
My main problem is i feel that when i talk, others will laugh on me so i mostly keep my mouth shut. How can i overcome my fear?\nWell the first thing you need to do to get over this fear is to proof it to be false. You see fear can be a strong motivater, but also an even stronger demotivater. We know for a fact that the "fear of getting burnt", keeps us from touching a red hot element. The reason is because one way or another we have tested it to be true.\nFear as a demotivater raises its head by what I refer to as false truths, which is simple truths that we believe but have never really tested.\nIf I would be coaching you personally I would encourage two activities to help you test out your fear. First what might at first feel stupid but works well, is simply speaking to yourself in the mirror. Look at your reflection and consider what would be considered a good conversation with the other person. Talk about what is important to that person in the mirror or what is really the other person.\nSecondly, I would reccommend that you have at least 3 conversations with complete stranges. Strangers are further from your comfort level of acquaintances and therefore have little regard to you personally if the conversation was effective or not. Simple start talking about the weather and go from there, but be precient, the payoff is awesome and you will soon realize your fear was no more than a false truth.\nTo understand effective communicating, please check out my blog. It will help you on your way to success.
319320
Hi there!\n\nI was terribly shy all through elementary school, middle school and high school. I think the main causes for mine were partly it was my personality, but also we moved alot, my dad was in military and i suffered some serious abuse from a young age...\n\nThese are some things that helped me and I hope they help you. First, I forced myself to take a public speaking class in high school and to get a job dealing with the public. It was very scary at the time and hard, but it did help me to start overcoming the shyness. Don't stay away from social situations, place yourself in them so you get used to talking, socializing etc...\n\nDon't think you are weird or strange for being so shy. Many teenagers and grownups as well suffer from shyness to some extent. Mainly it is caused because we want to be liked, want to say the right thing and are afraid we won't. I know when i was a teenager i was very afraid of boys because i didn't know what to talk to them about, when i finally started talking to them i found out they weren't that much different from the girls i was talking too. As you get older, you tend to lose some of the shyness, because you are working, maturing, extending your experiences and with confidence developed out of those situations you lose that insecurity. \n\nI know that you must have hope. If you had seen how shy i was at your age (I couldn't even go to a store and make a purchase that is how bad it was). I never looked anyone in the eye, etc...And now I am 49 years old, never meet a stranger and a people person! \n\nMy friends say that people gravitate towards me and everyone likes me. You know why? Because i always remember how it felt to feel uncomfortable, shy and out of control/insecure - those feelings have made me an empathetic person and i try to put people at ease when we meet. I give them a big smile, am friendly, ask questions about them to show i am interested in them and this makes them feel good! So use your shyness as a tool. First, remember that we are all insecure and scared in certain situations - I mean how many people do you know that hate public speaking? We all want to be accepted and liked and then just get out there and take chances and try to turn your shyness around - don't worry only about you try to focus on the other person and make them feel at ease...see what happens!\nIdentify the reasons you think you are shy and wk on changing them as well...\nDon't give up you sound like a great person and it takes time.\n\nsincerely,\nalaska friend
750001
Hi,\n\nJust to let you know a lot of people feel the same way, but try and relax and take a few deep breaths and tell yourself that you can do it.\nI was shy when i was a child but working in a hospital has made me more out going.\nA great book to read is Feel the fear and do it any way:- By Susan Jeffers. \nYou can get it in any good book shop or library.\nT.
662781
Hi! The most powerful weapon you have is your voice. Although you are afraid to speak up in class, I do encourage you to do so. I was the same way. I was even voted most shy in high school. However, through my service in the Air Force, they have you take "toastmasters" (or public speaking) courses. I fell in love with public speaking. I think the thing to remember is that many of your classmates will undoubtedly feel the same way you do about speaking. Go for it. But, if you choose not to, the best way to avoid being called on, is to sit up front, give the teacher great eye contact. Do not write notes, or keep your head down.  When he/she asks a question, do not avert your eyes, maintain direct eye contact, until he has called on someone (preferable not you). As an African American sister myself, let me tell you, I encourage you wholeheartedly to take a speaking course through your school. Good luck.
770580
Do some self assertion classes, they really help you cope with shyness...;\n\nSteer clear of the alcohol suggestion, you could end up with more problems than just shyness!!!
570543
I used to be afraid of public speaking, too, but I found that with practice and experience, I slowly overcame my fears and learned to enjoy public speaking. A few hints:\n\n1. Practice makes perfect: Practice speaking in front of a small, sympathetic crowd such as a group of friends or your family. Practice speaking extemporaneously (without a written speech) on a subject that you know well, such as personal beauty tips or a favorite activity, as well as working with a short, prepared speech using notes. Start off doing this in your own home, then start doing it in public places such as a park or office, but still just in front of friends or family. If you can get your friends to cooperate and support you emotionally, this can be quite helpful.\n\n2. Try to empathize rather than impress: Concentrate on slowing down your speech a little bit. Pick out a sympathetic face in the crowd and act like you're talking to him or her alone, then modulate your speech as if you're trying to impart some knowledge that he or she will benefit from. Try to play the role of a "caring mother" rather than a "knowledgeable professional" and you'll feel less pressure to perform to perfection.\n\n3. If you know you're going to be speaking publicly, prepare a few calming techniques to keep on hand: Bring along some lavender-scented lotion and apply it to your hands with gentle, calming strokes briefly before speaking or entering the meeting. Breathe in and out slowly while concentrating on a "mantra" or affirmative saying. Visualize yourself enjoying the company of your friends or coworkers at the lunch or party afterwards; remember that these people want to see you do well and will strive to receive your message no matter how imperfect the delivery.\n\n4. It's ok to admit you're nervous: Feel free to laugh at yourself a little and tell the crowd you're not a born public speaker. Thank them for their patience and ask them to bear with you. Acknowledging your fears to them and asking politely for their cooperation will win their sympathy and will buy you a little time to get your thoughts together. And remember, mistakes can always be corrected. If you misspeak, it's not against the rules to correct or restate something you said earlier.\n\nJust remember: public speaking is one of the most common phobias out there. Chances are good that the majority of the people you're speaking to are afraid of public speaking just like you! So don't sweat it; they understand what you're dealing with and will be more than willing to listen patiently so long as you try to handle your fears in a positive way rather than becoming negative or argumentative about it.\n\nBest of luck!
118485
Yes and no. Yes because I'm very shy and don't like being the center of attention. And no, because how are you suppossed to talk to people if you don't look at them?
381329
it'd be a difficult task for anyone if they had to refrain from speaking to people about things at any given moment but even the best known speakers in the world had a time when they were nervous.  Since there is no way to avoid this here is what I suggest:\n\nFIrst start reading your presentation out loud to yourself, to get familar with your content the biggest fear you are likely to have is not saying the word right or stumbling and looking foolish which you don't want.  Then practice in front of a mirror, then family, then close friends.  When the time to go up to speak, take several deep breaths and plan your walk to the podium, this seems like something someone should know but when you only have it in your mind to walk up to the podium and speak people don't watch were they are going and sometimes bump into something around the area and that can be a bit embarassing.  Just remember it's just a report, speak well, let your eyes wander around the room and be cool:)
302576
It can be a difficult situation especially if your shy like me. thankfully im dating another shy person who is understanding. I would highly reccommend a book called 'how to talk to anyone' its really good and i found it relly helpfull.\n\ni hope this helps, \nKindest regards,\n\nPaul...
628526
I can relate with you as even I am an introvert but I try my best to step out of the comfort zone. Make a conscious effort everyday to say Hi to everyone you know. That would improve your confidence with the people you know. Once you realise you are being accepted by them, you will slowly gain confidence and then you can try the same with meeting new people. A casual talk on the weather or the surrounding is the perfect ice-breaker. Its all in the mind, and once you conquer it no one can stop you from being an extrovert.
934511
Go to some of the parties.  Join clubs.  Get professional help if you need it.  Do whatever it takes to get over your crippling shyness and be a little more social.  Volunteering is a nice way to meet people and it also improves your personality and confidence.
1099092
clearly, you have to speak well. No horible accents or lips or anything. Also, you cant be shy.Public speaking is not for the faint of hear.\nLastly, it helps if you a) loveable or b) hot.
927977
I have the same problem, but I try to limit talking to anyone online though because thats just me. I know a lot of people tell me once you get out of high school you "break out of that shell". \n\nI am going to get a job which requires customer service and social skills though, I think if I know I have to, I'll be able to build the skill of talking a lot.\n\nIf you mumble, or stutter, or stumble on the words when you talk to people just think before you say something because I know when I try to say something really fast and then I forget I always stumble on the words lol.\n\nHope this helps :)
956473
No, as I've gotten older I've found it much easier to approach others. But that's beside the point really. What you need to do is force yourself to come up to people in your class. Your teacher, and your friends out in public. Just start by saying "Hi" and go from there. :) People love talking and if you get a big "talker" then you won't have to worry about saying much. Never be afraid of what people think of you. You are your own person and you shouldn't care what they think. If you say something stupid, laugh it off! I have to a lot. Goodness, just the other day that happened to me and I just laughed. It's like walking into a pole in front of a guy you have a crush on. You just step back, say "wow, that was stupid" and start laughing! It's really freeing! Trust me, I have actually run into things around guys that I've liked in the past! Yeah, it's embarrassing, but that feeling goes away after a while and you feel more confident in yourself. Good luck to ya!
780992
I should be the last one to speak on this but, don't speak to everyone, just smile or give a long gaze. \nSpeech impediments shouldn't scare off real men.\nAnd if you are as sweet and approachable as you say you are which I am sure is true, dear, you should have no problems. Just dont swing at every pitch