I am a highly tempermental man who often loses his temper with his fiance,I am in danger of losing her.HELP?
154664
change right now into the non tempermental man who wont hurt his fiance. and be scincere about it. if you really love her, and obviously want to marry her, change for yourself and her. if not, then maybe youll lose her..
802099
My fiance is not the best listener.  Used to get me pissed because I would be talking about something I thought was important to me (and I don't usually express myself much) and she would respond with a comment about something totally different like she wasn't even listening to what I was saying.  Made me feel dumb to get mad and bring it up because I felt like a whining woman (sorry ladies)\n\nI learned to deal with it and now just realize I have to bring her back to the conversation and make her focus lol  She tries more to listen to what I have to say too.\n\nLove you babe.
600060
The most you can do is by example. You have to remain calm but forceful in your arguments during discussion. Stay focused on the issue at hand and not allow trivial attachments to those issues to become separate issues. You're only one half of the equation and if she follows your example then things should work out fine. If you set the example and she's unable to reciprocate in attitude then my suggestion would be to think hard and long about the life expectancy of that relationship.
255848
Sorry to read of your dillema.  Your fiance' seems to have a real "gem" of a friend.  Well, not really.  But remember, the person is YOUR FIANCES' FRIEND.  That doesn't automatically make him your friend as well.  Only unless you want him as such.  Obviously, you don't.  At least, not at this time.  Openly, calmly communicating your feelings with your husband (lifetime partner) to be is super important.  Should you continue to view your fiances' friend, as what I'm feeling to you, being as a thorn in your side, you might be asking for a whole lot of unecessary problems that only turn in to "knock down-drag outs."  I don't think you want that.  Married couples encounter enough disagreements leading to arguments enough as it is.  Try your best as a couple to shorten that "list".  By the way,...when you're married, the roof over your head belongs to BOTH of you.  Should you NOT ALLOW your husband's friend into the home, chances are good you'll be INVITING trouble between you and your husband.  If it's possible for you and your fiance' to work this out now, out of love, you will certainly be paving the way towards having a healthy relationship.  Perhaps consider disagreeing without being disagreeable.  Take it easy and try not to let your fiances' friend drive you nuts.  Remember,...NO ONE is flawless.  Take care.
928669
Well, if you don't treat her bad, then I don't think it will ruin your chances.\n\nIf you REALLY think your temper is that bad, that you will snap and just freak, then take like anger management class or try taming your temper.
126091
Someone has to give in. Either one is talking too much, or the other is not listening at all. \n\nCommunicate to your spouse that you have a part to play in this hardship between you and your spouse. If you're usually the talker, just listen. Bite your tongue when you have a retort.\n\nCalmly assess the problem together. No one can have an open and calm discussion when one of the parties are angry. So delay the discussion if you have to.\n\nBe honest with yourself. It takes two hands to clap. So admit fault, apologise and if possible, seek a counselor.\n\nPraying also helps. Good luck :)
1170935
There are lots of things to consider here and I'm not about to counsel someone we know nothing about.\n\nThere are so many questions that need answers before advice can be given.\n\nSo, here's the cliff notes version:\n\nDo you have regular romantic intercourse?\nPassionate men often turn violent when they are robbed of their intimate other's attention.\n\nWhat has changed since you got married?\nHe may resent you for something you didn't do.  Men sometimes want to please their wives so much that they deprive themselves of other activities.  For instance, has he been out with his friends much?\n\nDoes he have secrets???\nGet a sample of his handwriting and look at the "o".  If his o's have two loops at the top that intersect, he has the liar trait and is keeping something secret from you bye lying.\n\nReason I tell you this, is often, men turn violent when they are lying about something.  The tension from trying to keep it a secret and the unhappiness from not being able to live the way they want makes them crazy.\n\nHe gets mad when you cry because of his own insecurities about the relationship.  He sees your tears as weakness.  Perhaps you need to stand up for yourself.  Shouting and argueing do very little, so take action.  Make rules and make them stick.  (you may want to experiment being the agressor in the bedroom.  grab him, force him, make him the submissive once in a while.  He'll see you as an equal then)\n\n\nI know, from my own experiences.\n\nCheers darling and good luck.
890937
fiancee??  4 years?  Hmm.  blaming.  Hmmm.  throwing, slamming, yelling.... Not good.  He needs to learn how to manage his anger.  If you don't leave, then this may very well escalate into another domestic violence statistic.  Go explain your situation to the battered women's shelter.  They will appropriately advise you.  It's hard for you to see and understand that YOU DO have options.  Go tomorrow and find out what they are before you get physically hurt.  I know the emotional part is bad enough.... So go tomorrow.
878984
I guess you need to talk to.....YOURSELF!\nAsk yourself a few questions like:\nWhy do I want to be with someone who brings out my anger?\nWhat makes me hold onto a failed relationship?\nWhere is my anger coming from and who is it really directed at?\nWho else makes me feel so angry?\nDo I want to keep this pattern going or am I ready for change?\nIts really hard to change choices in men, and it takes a great deal of personal insight, so get to work!
343623
There is nothing wrong what-so ever in the way you feel.  She has little respect for you and she should be more thankful that she has a place to stay.  You should really try to talk to your fiance, and see how he feels about it.  Its not fair that your mad and take it out on him, if he has no idea that you feel a certain way.  If you talk to him and he doesn't do something or understand the situation, it looks like you re on your own.  Talk to her then.  You should try to set some boundaries.  You re making it too comfortable for her to stay.
514836
Well this is just how you are....you cant reallly change who you are...you can just try to be stronger.....i mean when you go through drama in your life and can get through it alone you mature and grown stronger....it might irritate your fiance but if he loves you he should be able to put up with it and respect thats who you are...but you can try to grow up a lil and know what things are worth gettin sad about and what things arent
347850
i myself are in a relationship for more than a year and things tend to get a little aggrivated lately.  The best adivice i can give you is to just take things as they come and just talk everything over with your man that comes up.  If you argue about things, thats ok. don't think it is your fault at all. if your mad, its obviously him thats doing something to make you mad.  just tell him whats bothering you
155498
Your safety is the most important thing. Alot of times the violence becomes more severe as time goes by. It's better to be alone than to be abused.If you really love this person you both could seek good counseling. Until then stay away from this person.Go to family, friends,Minister, anyone that you trust.Love is sometimes blind. No person male or female should ever put their hands on anyone out of anger.You have to love yourself more. Again your safety is the most important thing. Good luck to you.
1030524
If you are getting married, then you probably love him. Feeling bad for arguments is normal... and healthy.\n\nmake your apologies IF you feel they are due and then, leave it behind. You two have a whole life ahead of you and there WILL be days like this for both of you in the future.\n\nBest of luck :)
45049
First things first - consider whether your behavior is being caused by an underlying medical condition - do you feel well? Have you been sleeping OK, or have you had any lifestyle/changes of your routine which you can link to when you started being crabby?\n\nPractical hint: start making a diary of bad crabbiness days - exactly WHAT you were upset about, and how you behaved badly. When you stand back and look at your "crabby" diary you may see some patterns. Discuss this plan of action with him, even though it may be uncomfortable - it will show that you are determined to work with him and SHARE your problems. Relationships are work, as well as being romantic.\n\nBuy "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" by John Gray, and sit down with your fiance and read it out aloud - you will LOVE doing this, I GUARANTEE that! You will laugh and cry together while you're reading.\n\nGood Luck :-)\nDC\n\nwww.tigerworld.tv
148500
You need couples counselling. Crossing the boundry into physical violence during a fight is an extremely serious problem - one that won't go away by itself.
143102
If your fear of losing "her" exists, you need to ask yourself whether or not this fear has been generated by your thoughts and insecurities, or whether these thoughts have been generated in response to her behavior.  If she has given you reason to believe that you must be fearful of her one day leaving you, or worse, than you need to talk about this problem. There is no healthy relationship between two people where one person threatens the other by leaving.  \nIf you think that this fear is an innate thought, than you need to deal with this problem in a self help way.  Realize that "she" would have left you already if she felt that that was what she wanted.  Clearly she has not, therefore she wants to be with you. As long as you dont let this fear overtake your relationship, you should inevitably get over it. By overtaking I mean becoming over paranoid of cheating, whereabouts, lying, etc.  Ask yourself why you feel this way? Is there a reason? Do you not fully understand her feelings for you? Ask her, talk to her. If you trust her, she will trust you, and there will be no fear of anything ad happening.  And if something does happen, you will know at least tht it is not your fault, and that you will be satisfied in your fufilling your goals of being a good partner.