Need to know how to stop caring what my over-critical mother thinks of me? She judges all I do&is never happy?
151740
With my mother I came to realized that she was doing what she was doing because of her own issues and nothing I did good bad or otherwise would have an impact on her negativity. It was kinda liberating when I finally figured that one out.
945481
Sweety slow down....Envy is a natural feeling, you are not a bad person.  Try looking and thinking about the things that you do well.  I'm sure that you have talents everyone does...She , although you think she's perfect, probably has things about herself that she doesn't like.   I'm guessing that you are a young teenager, so hormones and depressions are part of the deal.  But if you are crying all the time, tell your mom or dad and go see a doctor.  If you can't talk to them tell your guidance counselor, and maybe she can help you a little.  Teenage years are hard, but hang in there baby, life does get better.    Remember think about yourself and what you do well, and what looks good about you.   God Bless
906757
Girl do not loose your self in propaganda I have waisted years of being too into my self. Go to counseling and listen to your mom in years to come you will wish you had. Beauty fades education remains.
1097293
ur moms racist\nit just shows that she is insecure with herself so she has to put down others to make herself feel better\n\ndont get into the habbit of judging others
618807
Take the high road.\nDon't bother being petty and drawing negative attention to yourself.\nProve that you are the better person by NOT reacting to what they say and/or do.
1035664
I've been where you are and i'm telling you...be strong!  Stand up to her without getting down to her level...don't get mad or upset...smile in her face and tell her you are comfortable enough with yourself that you don't need to find fault in others to find what's good in you!  This is hard at your age, I know!  The more you fight with her, and the more you react to her the more she will dish it out to you.  Be strong, be yourself and don't worry about what people think of you because you can't, YOU CAN'T make everyone happy!
483840
I understand where you r coming from.  Both my parents are that way.  Just remember that she loves you and has always wanted the best for u and want u to have a better life than she did.  Respect her opinions and tell her so.  She can't expect you to do exactly what she tells you and I'm sure she doesn't.  Make it clear that you respect and appreciate her input but in the end it is your decision to make.  Maybe dont share as much personal info with her as you have been. Such as the example you gave about your job.  Would it be possible to keep discussions about your job to a minimum when talking to your mom. You don't want to tell her to back off because someday you are going to need her, need her advice, and that's what she is there for.  She just wants you to know that she'll always be there for you.  You can still be close to your mom without talking about the life decisions you have made or need to make. Good luck!
314238
Stop keeping score. Don't try to keep track of every little thing she does for Tayyaba. Look at what you mum does for you. Does she smile at you, does she rely on you? Does she Trust you enough to do things for your self sometimes?\nThese are great things. Maybe Tayyaba needs more than you do at the moment, or maybe your Mum thinks she is not as able as you. If you take a bad attitude toward Mum and Tayyaba you make yourself an unpleasant person to be around. If your Mom has her hands full of responsibilities and caring for the family she may get stressed or short tempered or just tired. How can you make things easier? Can you help more with your own needs, or things you can do for her or Tayyaba to give Mom a break and maybe some more time to relax and to enjoy you. Be happy, be kind be helpful and you will see a change in the way people treat you and the way you feel about yourself and your family. Your mom is probably very much in touch with you, but as you are growing the things you need from each other change.\nBe proud that she knows you are becoming more grown and not needing her attention every minute. Then when she is not too busy sit and talk to her and explain the way you feel, that you miss your time with her. You may not get everything the way it was, but you may get what you need.
99500
Because your mom makes fun of you and makes you cry! She should not be doing this and it sounds like you have an unhappy family life. I don't blame you for not being so open at home!  It sounds like it is emotional abuse from her. Hope you have someone you can talk to about it regularly, someone you can trust, so that you can stand it better.
934179
Be at peace with yourself, no matter what your decision.\nAnd this isn't the life I ordered either, but sometimes it still suprises me.\n\nSweet Dreams\nIT'S THE MOM PEOPLE..and it's a damn hard job so cut her some slack
746360
ok.. first of all, u are AWESOME. seriously, u should really be proud of urself for turning such horrible negativity into something Positive, and not letting it ruin ur life! :) and i bet u don't hate ur mother, u just feel sad when u think of why she treats u that way.. wow, good for you. it is SO HARD to think that way, so EASY to be angry and hurt and HATE people for that kind of stuff.\n\nmy advice to you is to continue what u are doing, but also add a bit to it:\n\nWork on your Confidence and how to meet people. this is so u can create a NEW life and family for yourself.. whether it be friends, or a boyfriend, eventually husband and kids, ok? :) In my opinion, confidence can be "worked on" in 3 steps:\n\nAppearance: exercise. work out. take care of ur Body. take care of ur skin.  get a new, flattering hair cut, makeup, and clothes. the better u Look, the better impression u make on others. also, exercising can get stress out, and give u endorphins (happy chemicals). and lastly, the better u look, the better u FEEL about yourself!\n\nMind:  study.  read more, learn more. keep an open mind.  develop interests and hobbies. take some classes. excel at your job.  remember, if u start joining classes and activities, more likely u can meet some friends who have Similar interests as you. also, u are being Productive and enhancing your strenghts and qualities. :)\n\nRelationships:  typically i say w/ Family and Friends.. but as u say, family is far away/mean, and friends u talk on the phone. that means NEW PEOPLE. u need to concentrate on peopel around you. try with coworkers or peers at school (or at the gym, or walking ur dog, etc).  remember, the better u Look and the more you Know, the less SHY or scared u will be when talking to someone!  also, try to get to know teachers, guidance counselors, etc.  the more people u can speak to with confidence, the better.  eventually u WILL make friends, and then meet their friends..and that is how u create a network of family/friends around you.\n\nAlso, remember to always seek Positive, Healthy and Happy people around you. if anyone is negative, mean, or tries to force u to do something uncomfortable, keep ur distance. u are working on ur life for the BETTER.  the stronger, happier, confident u are, the more opportunities u will have, more doors will open, u will Attract positive people, AND u will be able to get thru the hard times in life w/ ur positivity (case in point: u and ur family!).  \n\ngood luck, and taek care ALWAYS.  the future equals the Ability to Change! no matter what, u can change something little or big in ur life. so don't ever be upset at urself or others for the past. look forward to tomorrow, work hard, and play hard, be Happy and Healthy and u will find Positive things~
348846
Do what's called the Broken Record thing...every time she starts in--think of something like.." I appreciate your concern, mom, but we have it handled."..........say it Every time...and she Will stop---it worked on my dad...see...when us mom's spens at least 20 yrs rasing kids..and being needed...and then we find one day that the kids are grown..living on their own--meaning we did our job well...suddenly we have nothing to fuss over..and that can be a lonely feeling.  I'm not saying it's okay for her to over step her bounds, just have a little understanding and compassion ... cuz, one day, you, too will have worked yourself out your job..\nhang in there
826106
This is a tough place for a young woman to be! You are going through an emotional time anyway as you enter puberty. Have you talked with your sisters and do they acknowledge the way she treats you? Maybe one of them will be kind enough to tell your mother how her actions are affecting you. My other suggestion would be to speak with a minister or your school guidance counselor, perhaps have a family session. Please know you are worthwhile despite all that is going on. love to you.
713309
I read your previous question regarding your partying/drinking.  Is this what you are referring to?  It seems that you don't really want any advise but just approval and thumbs up for the things that you are doing.  You got angry because people sided with your mother rather than you.  You'd do well to listen to your mom.  She has your best interest at heart.   Sorry. I know it's not what you want to hear, but you asked.
96026
Try having a conversation with (and yes i am serious) Mom. Just talk to her and find out why she calls him all the time, don't be rude or ugly, just talk to her and find out more about their relationship and what his childhood was like. Could be that there are some reasons for her overinvolvement and maybe she is just as anxious to help him become less dependent on her too. If nothing else you might be able to get to know her well enough to ask her as politely as you can to relax a little. You might learn that maybe Mom isn't the clinger  and the guy is and the two of you can work on him together, and if she likes you and thinks you respect her enough to come to her with your issue instead of running to him and complaining you will earn her respect and maybe even her blessing. And while that might not matter at all to you I can assure you that it does to him.
836263
tell her outright. and tell her to make her stop.  If mom does not listen tell dad.  She is abusing you and that is wrong.
570083
Sounds like he's trying to control you.  You need to nip that in the bud right now because if you adjust your life to pacify him on this matter, he'll just find something else to take control of.  If you allow that, in 20 years you will have no self esteem and not be able to make decisions or do anything without his approval or guidance.\nIn other words, you'll be miserable.\n\nHe's insecure about your relationship with your mother.  Tell him flat out and without an apology that you are going to continue the relationship with your mother.  Then do exactly as you say and be on the lookout for other control issues that may arise.