how does marriage and divorce affect the family?
152445
marriage creates a new family, divorce destroys it.\n\nin old days marriage used to mean that one or both of the newlywebs moved out of their parent's home and started a new life. divorce can be very traumatic for kids.
945133
The financial impact of divorce goes WAY past dividing things up 2 ways.  It's absolutely devastating.\nLet me just hang this out there and expect some negative feedback - I'm seriously "old school".\nA marriage covenant isn't performance driven - that's why we say "for better or worse".  It's isn't breakable - that's why we say "until death do us part".\nIf I had to guess, your brother fears divorce because deep inside he believes it to be wrong and he's afraid of carrying a load of guilt around.\nThere will be plenty of responses encouraging him to go ahead and be happy.  And while the "pursuit of happiness" is fine within a certain context, our society has taken that to an incredible level of selfishiness and self-absorption - life is now "all about me".\nThere is MUCH more I can say about this from personal experience but it would belong in another category.
329880
Every case is different.\nEvery child is different.\nA child in an abusive environment even if the child is not being abused is effected.  How they grow and develop in life will be a legasy of the environment he/she grew up in.\n\nMost children 10 and older understand the idea of not getting along, as they deal with it in school\n\nBut they don't understand the commitment you made to your spouse upon making your vows.\n\nIn general, kids do better in a complete family environment even if there is a bit of disfunction.  BUt if the relationship is totally a mess, then separation is the better choice.  The kids will suffer a bit, but will resolve, and understand the situation more as they grow into their own relationships.\n\nA very difficult answer to give.  There are too many variables.\n\nI came from a broken home, and I feel it was best for our situation.  My father was a womanizer, liar, and a cheat in every regard.  I knew it already at 11, when my mom finally said enough.  I was raised by my mom, and subsequently my step dad, who was a good 'father' to me.  He let me grow up and make mistakes, and generally let me do my living.  Only if I was out of line did he step in.  So, for me the divorce was the better deal as a child.\n\nIt really depends on the age, the environment, and the social development of the children , AND they should be given ALL your consideration if you do divorce.\n\nAlso, it is important to remember the only real winner in a divorce is the attorney.   They laugh at the fighting because it puts new cars in their driveway, while it leaves you destitute.  Remember an amicable break up is of great benefit.  To you and the family as a whole.  Also, a good relationship with the person you "did" love after the divorce will help the transision for the kids.
538294
Yes. Otherwise, couples would go their seperate ways when things got hard, instead of making it work. Marriage is a rational decision you make to be with 1 person, even if it gets hard. Think about a world full of broken homes, with only one parent. That would be reality without marriage.
1134534
Never..... Kids will learn to accept and understand divorce at any age, it just takes longer when they are under age 6.  If the marriage is that bad, your kids will see it and staying together for their sake will not help them at all.  It will only warp their view of what a relationship is to be when they are older.
128845
Marriage is learned behavior. Self actualizing people are able to be happy and get what they want from life without having to be emotionally dependent on someone else. We cannot help our lives from being influenced by other people, but making our choices merely based on tradition can take us to the wrong places, so beware...  \n\nInterestingly, isolation can be asociated to many underlying diseases (ex. depression, personality disorders...), so make sure this is not your case
913699
YOU R DEFINITLY NOT THE REASON FOR THE DIVORCE. \nSometimes married people fall out of love and then their lives become filled with trouble and it affects the children. I think if they fight a lot and cannot live together anymore it's better for them to break up. They will still love you and they will be better parents now and maybe they will become friends again.\n\nGood Luck
1126512
No. It doesn't make any difference. Marriage isn't about 'trial and error', it is about making a commitment to each other, regardless of what happens. If you can't make that commitment, then don't get married. People who aren't married don't act the same as people that sign the contract. Living together isn't marriage. (until the common law period of time kicks in, then you actually ARE married, and you don't have to worry about it anymore).
182724
Studies show that people who move in together before marriage are 50% more likely to get a divorce.  Then again, everyone's values are different.
1141991
1. Lack of commitment and trust.\n\n2. Lack of communication.\n\n3. SELFISHNESS. Marriage is about two people sharing their lives so when one partner decides to pursue selfish personal desires irrespective of where their activities leave the rest of the family, then that's it- it tumbles down.
1075996
All of the above honey.  Marriage and a relationship while married is a complex paradox of fun and pain and love and anger and joy and sadness.  In a good marriage the good things far outweigh the bad things, but marriage is work and sometimes (most of the time) not easy work.
273233
I can give you the below link, but that's really just dipping your toe into the pond of this issue. I would check out some psychology books or divorce advice books. Either of those two types should give you a much more indepth knowledge on what this issue is all about.
1019814
That is really up to the parents and how they handle the divorce to a large degree.  First off you have to realize every child is unique and sees things differently so you have to treat each of your kids differently and not assume that one method works for everyone.  Mostly though the kids react based upon how their parents react and how they perceive the divorce.  If things go smooth and there is a good relationship between the parents that helps a lot.  It is also important for both parents to communicate openly with the kids about what is going on and why.  This is one of those instances where you need to not talk down to your kids but treat them almost as adults.  You have to communicate clearly and also take time to listen to them and how they see things and how they feel.
195909
That may play a very very small part in the high divorce rate. I think people in general don't take marriage as seriously as they should which would play a bigger part then woman's changing roles in the household.
121796
It does not dir after marrige. It is just that it get more routine with time and pressure on couples. And on ressure I mean - work, kids, money and so on...
663511
Quite the conundrum.\n\nThere are such things as survivable marriages.  Divorce really should be a last, last, last resort, especially once kids are involved.\n\nThat said, there can be a point where more harm comes to the kids with a bitter marriage.  Mom and Dad never get along.  One or both drink too much, are never home, abusive, etc.  \n\nKids are fairly resilient.  They recover well so long as both parents remember that through divorce the kids needs are most important.  \n\nI'm in a good (not great) marriage.  I could easily get "lazy" and neglect my marriage based on this.  (Cheating, withdrawing etc) but the kids need a stable family and my life really isn't all that bad.  (After all, I CHOSE my wife and CHOSE to have kids).  \n\nDivorce is NEVER good when kids are involved.  It is a question of which is the worse of two evils:  A less than good marriage with the family working to hold together or a impulsive divorce that destroys kids faith in adults, parents and family.
750928
Marriage is not going "fix" what happened.   I respect that your family has these beliefs, but lets be honest, the odds are against young couples in this situation.  I certainly say, give this relationship all that you have, do the best you possibly can for this baby.  But marriage can be a costly thing to get yourself out of if it does not work out.   You dont need to be married to be a father.  You are both very young and have a lot of living to do.  Please reconsider getting married at this point.  I really do hope it all works out for you and your fiancee and baby.  But  it will work out because you put into it what you expect to get out of it.  Not because you are married.  Good Luck