Lame blonde joke 2 - What did the blonde say when she read the kool-aid package directions...?
145602
Aren't we supposed to answer the riddle?
284226
Get back with you in a minute...can't stop laughing.\n\n\nI'm back. I haven't laughed so hard in a long time. Thanks. Woke the husband up. And , no.
857253
Got this in the mail last week\n\nA blonde and a lawyer are seated next to each\n> other on a flight from LA to NY. The lawyer asks if\n> she would like to play a fun game?\n> \n>   The blonde, tired, just wants to take a nap,\n> politely declines and rolls over to the window to\n> catch a few winks.\n> \n>   The lawyer persists and explains that the game is\n> easy and a lot of fun. He explains, I ask you a\n> question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay\n> me $5.00, and vise versa.\n> \n>   Again, she declines and tries to get some sleep.\n> The lawyer, now agitated, says, Okay, if you don't\n> know the answer you pay me $5.00, and if I don't\n> know the answer, I will pay you $500.00. This\n> catches the blonde's attention\n>   and, figuring there will be no end to this torment\n> unless she plays, agrees to the game.\n> \n>   The lawyer asks the first question. What's the\n> distance from the earth to the moon? The blonde\n> doesn't sa a word, reaches into her purse, pulls out\n> a $5.00 bill and hands it to the lawyer.\n> \n>   "Okay" says the lawyer, "your turn."\n> \n>   She asks the lawyer, What goes up a hill with\n> three legs and comes down with four legs?\n> \n>   The lawyer, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer\n> and searches all his references, no answer. He taps\n> into the air phone with his modem and searches the\n> net and the library of congress, no answer.\n> \n>   Frustrated, he sends e-mail to all his friends and\n> coworkers, to no avail.\n> \n>   After an hour, he wakes the blonde, and hands her\n> $500.00. The blonde says, Thank you, and turns back\n> to get some more sleep.\n> \n>   The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed,\n> wakes the blonde and asks, Well, what's the answer?\n> \n>   Without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse,\n> hands the lawyer $5.00, and goes back to sleep.
1185033
keep the blonde jokes coming
989787
Two blondes realize that their apartment is on fire and go out onto the balcony. \n"Help, help!" yells one of the blondes. \n"Help us, help us!" yells the other. \n"Maybe it would help if we yelled together," said the first blonde. \n"Good idea," said the other. \n"Together, together!"
708182
hope you like....\n\nA Blonde's Year in Review\n\n\nJanuary - Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight\n\n\nFebruary - Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels\n....Hello!!! ..... bottles won't fit in typewriter!!!\n\n\nMarch - Got really excited.....finished jigsaw puzzle in 6\nmonths......box said "2-4 years!"\n\n\nApril - Trapped on the Macy's escalator for hours after the power went out!!\n\n\nMay - Tried to make Kool-Aid.....wrong instructions.....8 cups of\nwater won't fit into those little packets!!!\n\n\nJune - Tried to go water skiing.....couldn't find a lake with a slope.\n\n\nJuly -Lost breast stroke swimming competition . learned later,\nthe other swimmers cheated, they used their arms!!!\n\n\nAugust - Got locked out of my car in rain storm .car swamped\nbecause soft-top was open.\n\n\nSeptember - The capital of California is "C".....isn't it???\n\n\nOctober - Hate M&M's.....they are so hard to peel.\n\n\nNovember - Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days.....instructions said 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108!!!\n\n\nDecember - Couldn't call 911....."duh".....there's no "eleven" button on the stupid phone!!!\n\n\nWhat a year!!
1105977
Take her head phone off...\n\n\n\nA blonde went to a beauty salon to get a haircut.\nWhen the beautician approached the chair where\nthe blonde was waiting, she noticed that she was\nwearing a walkman.\n\n\nThe beautician took the blonde to her styling booth. She asked\nthe blonde, "Please take off the walkman so I can cut your hair."\nThe blonde replied, "I can't do without it, just cut around it."\n\nThe beautician shook her head in disbelief and started cutting.\nA few minutes later the beautician stopped and asked the blonde,\n"I just can't cut your hair properly while you are wearing\nthat walkman. Please take it off."\n\n\nThe blonde replied, "I just can't live without it,\ncut around it please." The beautician started cutting\nagain and finally had had enough. The beautician\nreached down and pulled the earphones from\nthe walkman off the blonde.\n\n\nJust as she did so the blonde froze, then fell out off the chair and\non to the floor. The staff at the salon rushed to her aid only to\ndiscover she was stone dead. All were stunned! The beautician lifted\nthe earphones to her ear to listen to what was so important to the\nblonde.\n\nIn a soft but commanding voice she heard,\n"Breathe in.......... Breathe out............\nBreathe in.......... Breathe out............\nBreathe in.......... Breathe out............"
517056
Why did the Blonde take a car door with her on a walk across a desert?\n\nSo, when it got hot she could roll the window down!!!!!
549643
WHOOPIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FANTASTIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!PHENOMENAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!\nI love it about time she was fake sounding like michelle' and she thought she had it going on because of grandma but honey wake up and smell you have to carry your own weight not ride off granny so she lost and go back home and get back on the phone Target is hiring
604423
A blind man enters a Ladies Bar by mistake. He finds his way to a barstool and orders a drink. After sitting there for\nawhile,\nhe yells to the bartender, "Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?"\nThe bar immediately falls absolutely quiet. In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, "Before you tell that\njoke,\nsir, I think it is just fair - giving that you are blind - that you should know five things: 1 - The bartender is a blonde girl.\n2 - The bouncer is a blonde girl.\n3 - I'm a 6 feet tall, 160 LB. Blonde woman with a black belt in karate.\n4 - The woman sitting next to me is blonde and is a professional weightlifter.\n5 - The lady to your right is a blonde and is a professional wrestler.\nNow think about it seriously, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?the blind man thinks for a second, shakes his head, and declares, "Nah, Not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."
264452
not all blonde jokes are about females... \n\nDumb Male Blondes"\n\nThere were two blonde guys working for the city council. One would dig a hole, the other would follow behind him and fill the hole in. \n\nThey worked furiously all day without rest, one guy digging a hole, the other guy filling it in again. \n\nAn onlooker was amazed at their hard work, but couldn't understand what they were doing. \n\nSo he asked the hole digger, "I appreciate the effort you are putting into your work, but what's the story? You dig a hole and your partner follows behind and fills it up again." \n\nThe hole digger wiped his brow and sighed, \n"Well, normally we are a three-man team, but the guy who plants the trees called in sick today.\n\n---------\n\nHow did the blond explain how his helicopter crashed?\nHe said it was getting cold, so he turned off the ceiling fan.\n\n----------\n\nWhy did the blond quit his job as a restroom attendant?\nHe couldn't figure out how to refill the hand dryer.\n\n------------\n\nWhy did it take the blond a whole week to wash three basement windows?\nIt took him six days just to dig the holes to put the ladder in.\n\n-------------\n\nDid you hear about the blond who thought he discovered that\n he had a twin brother?\nHe didn't realize he was looking in a mirror.\n------------\n\nDid you hear about the blond who never learned to waterski?\nHe couldn't find a lake with a slope.\n---------------\n\nWhy did the blond only smell good on the right side?\nHe didn't know where to buy Left Guard!\n\n-----------\n\nWhy couldn't the blond bob for apples?\nHis sister was using the toilet.\n\n-----------------\n\nA blond is going to London on a plane; how can you steal his\n window seat?\nTell him all seats going to London are in the middle row.\n\n---------------\n\nHow do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday?\nTell him a joke on Wednesday. \n\n---------------------\n\nDid you hear about the blond who just bought an A.M. radio?\nIt took him two weeks to figure out that you could play it at night.\n\n----------------\n\nWhy did the blond stand in front of a mirror with his eyes closed?\nHe wanted to see what he looked like asleep.\n\n--------\n\nWhy are most blonde jokes one-liners?\nSo men will understand them.\n\nfeel any better about blonde jokes now?
940344
It's gibberish. It's probably a (bad) joke from the person who sent it. Don't answer, that's my advice. ;)
1076613
the red head \nbecause the blonde has to stop and ask directions
1079070
ok this blond walks into a best buy and theres a sign that says no blonds so she colors her hair black because theres 90% off some of the new stuff there.........she walks in and asks how much is this tv? the man at the desk say ur a blond so plz lev now.......so she gose colors her hair brown and gose asks a different person and she says how much is this tv? and that person knows that she was a blone too and asked her to lev once more............she thinks to herself and she thought that thy remembered wat she looked like so she colors her hair red and makes herself look like a rocker but comes bake the next day and asks someone different how much is that tv overthere and he says ur a blond plz lev as he walks her out she stops and asks him how do u know im a blond? and he says thats not a tv its a microwave.............
833570
It's about time someone came up with a new blonde joke. This is hilarous. I would have never guessed what she was going to say at the end. Very good. I'll give you a 10 on the scale of 1-10. You also got a thumbs up. Great joke...got any more..?
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why does the blonde climb to the glass wall??\nto see whats in the other side....\nhow do you get a twinkle in a blondes eye???\nshine a flashlight in her ear..\nQ. Why is it harder to make a blonde snowman, compared to a brunette snowman? \nA. You have to hollow out the head! \n\nQ: What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant? \nA: "Are you sure it's mine?" \n\nQ: What is the difference between a pregnant blonde and a lightbulb? \nA: You can unscrew a lightbulb. \nQ: What do blondes and beer bottles have in common? \nA: They're both empty from the neck up. \n\nQ. How do you know that a blonde has sent you a fax? \nA. There's a stamp in the corner of the fax! \n\nQ. Why won't pharmacists hire blondes as secrataries? \nA. They keep on breaking those bottles in the typewriter! \n\nQ. How do you get a blonde to laugh on Saturday? \nA. Tell her a joke on Tuesday! \n\nQ. What did a blonde get on her SAT test? \nA. Nail Polish \n\nQ. What do you call a blonde who lives in Alaska? \nA. A Frosted Flake. \nTwo dumb blondes were walking through the woods and they came to some tracks. The first dumb blond said "These look like deer tracks," and the other one said, "No, they look like moose tracks." They argued and argued for a while and they were still arguing when the train hit them. \n\nTwo dumb blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their Mercedes with a coat hanger. They tried and tried to get the door open, but they couldn't. The girl with the coat hanger stopped for a moment to catch her breath, and her friend said anxiously, "Hurry up! It's starting to rain and the top is down."\nhope you laugh a lot....plz give me those 10 points....i need them
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Joann, keep them a coming, I enjoy these jokes your sending us. I will be passing them along. LOLOLOL *~* lololol