why is my husband psycho?
154152
If he's threatening to take your son away from you it's because he feels threatened.  He's insecure and wrong for using your son as a tool to manipulate you.  If you've already tried to discuss the topic and he continues to restrict you from going out, you should seek counseling.  If that doesn't work, use your best judgement. No one should have to feel threatened in a marriage.
939762
Sounds like a normal day in our house. There are two sides to every story and this is only your side so hard not to be judgemental on your husband. If he is doing all those things then believe it or not it may possinly be because he is afraid of losing his family and that includes you but too much of a macho man to sit down with you and tell you his true feelings. I would really urge him to try marriage guidance and if he won't go on the camp how about a civilian one where none of his mates will know about it?
839854
I'm not sure what kind of input you're looking for but I think you got some pretty decent input.  I'd tell you the same thing.  I was married to someone like that and he got very abusive with me.  You should definitely dump him.  I wouldn't give someone like that the time of day and if you actually cared about yourself at all you wouldn't either.  You're trying to look for answers within yourself that aren't there.  You can't blame yourself for the way he is.  Hes got serious problems and you'll have the same if you don't get away from him!  Good luck!
1058995
It's an attitude thing.  Do you ever have an aggressive... I want what I want when I want it attitude.  Take control...  \n\nTell him what you want him to do and how you want it done.  Dictate to him what you are going to do to him and he has no choice but to let you do it.\n\nThe turn on for your husband is that you want him so bad that he turns you from this cute, sweet, shy woman into a this vixen who needs him so increadibly bad.  \n\nIt's fun!!!\n\nIt's really just a role playing thing.  Have fun with it.  Enjoy yourself.
422707
I am also a "passive" person, but not quite to the extent your husband is.  Have you ever considered the fact that your husband grew up in chaos, and didn't have a male figure around for him to learn from?  Don't know his background, but his "symptoms" sound a lot like the way I grew up.  If it seems he "likes" chaos it could be because he doesn't know how to resolve chaos.  And as far as him "blaming you", have you ever considered that he is feeling pretty crappy cause you can handle things better than him? If you truly love him, be kind and patient and understanding.  Help him learn that you can "fix" chaos.  If you feel like he can walk away from the marriage without ever turning back, have you ever considered that that exact thing may have happened to him?  Try turning it around and not being so dominant yourself.  Turn to him and let him know you value his ideas, thoughts and decisions, and you NEED him in everyday life and decisions. If he makes a "wrong decision" but it isn't hurtful, life threatening, or irreversible, go with the flow and let him learn from mistakes, knowing you will stand behind him no matter what.
711521
He may not be abusing you physically but he is mentally.\n\nYou say you are about to be a mom for the first time what happens if you have a daughter? Are you gonna let her grow up thinking that men are always right and you should always listen to them no matter what. Even if they are wrong and what they are saying hurts you?????????\n\nOr vise versa if you have a son. Do you want him to grow up thinking that it is okay to treat women this way???\n\nBecause if things continue as they are now you would be teaching either sex that you have the wrong information. Children learn from there parents and they will see how your husband treats you and it will get in beded in there heads. Your daughter will take on the roll that you have when she grows up and marries. And your son will take on your husband roll and assume that this is how to be a man.\n\nHe may not be hitting you now but he may later on in your marriage. Do you want your child to see or hear this?\n\nMy advice to you is turn to friends and family and get out now before it gets any worse.\n\nAnd once out suggest counseling for his problem. Tell him that you love him and want to be with him but you can't live with his controling manner any longer and the only way you are coming back home is if he gets help with it. Because you don't want your child growing up seeing this behavior.\n\nIf you won't leave then tell him that you want him to go to counseling for his problem and make sure that you make it clear that is the only way you are staying in that marriage.\n\nYou have a child to think about now. You need to think about that child and what you are willing to expose them to as far as his behavior.\n\nI hope that you can get the help that you need. And I hope that your marriage works out if that is what you want.\n\nCongrad's on the new baby. That child will bring so much to your life. And you will find out just how deeply you can love. And then you may realize that putting up with your husbands behavior is wrong and that you and that child deserve better.
372640
Was he that way before you married him? If so, why would you expect it to be different now?\n\nIf he wasn't, then--as said above--you've probably run rampant at home and he doesn't feel the need, or is trying to "balance" the situation. Could also be med/psych reasons too.
587877
well looks like you have found your husbands true colours...  you know what to do!!He's scared you will find out more i think.. he using the money thing as a blackmail to stop you from digging deeper!!
138784
Oh my husband had similar problems in his childhood. His mom would beat him everyday even though he did all the household chores. Yet she can't face it if someone cries or even hints that he might be in pain. Even today. \n\nSo my husband has all these bottled up feelings which finally found a vent after marriage. In these 3 years of our marriage, he has suffered from many panic attacks and he has other psychological problems too.\n\nSince you feel incapable of crying, vent your feelings out to a friend. My husband never had a close companion because she would not let him have any... and lack of a confidante is not advisable. Share it with someone... anyone. \n\nIf you want to contact me, I can give you my mail ID. Either I will edit this post and add it or when you choose a best answer, I'll mention it in the comments. \n\nMay God Bless You.
1122698
Well he could be psychotic, or he could not like you very much and is playing a game or he could be a skitzo or he could've gone through some major trauma and have head problems either physically or now he just has skitzo tendancies or he could be this- DID YOU KNOW THAT MEN HAVE HORMONE CHANGES EVERY HOUR? THAT MUCH LIKE OUR MENTRAL CYCLE THAT HAPPENS ONCE A MONTH WHERE OUR CHEMICAL BALANCES CHANGE THEIRS CHANGES 24 TIMES IN A DAY-it still doesn't give a guy a reason to be a jerk!
210001
Your husband may have a mental disorder but he still has rights and if he is being released the agency must feel he can function in society.  This does not mean they are right but they are only following the rules of the agency.  If the doctor felt he should still be hospitalized they would ask for a Judicial Commitment. They can not keep him if they believe he is better.  It is unfortunate that your husband is not giving you more information or including you in the discharge plane because it may help ease some of your fears. Since you do not have any proof that your son has seen your husband acting out sexually it may be difficult to prove.  Also, I don't see how the therapist could have you son removed if he has no proof of abuse. What he has is a possible event in which your son saw your husband participating in cyber sex.  How many children have walked on their parents having sex? I am not saying your reason is not valid or a reason for concern I am just saying it just may not be consider abuse or neglect. \n\nSo where does that leave you and your son? You are his mother and if you feel he has been affected by your husband sexual voyeurism please do everything possible to protect him.  Do you have your own income, can you move out, is there a friend or family member you can stay with.  Are you afraid of your husband?  You may need to contact a women's shelter if you have run out of options.  It may also be possible that your husband has gotten better but his disorder is too difficult for you to manage.  If this is the case it may be time for you to start taking steps to dissolving the marriage and living on your own.  It is very difficult to live with someone with a mental disorder especially someone with an Axis I of DID.  I know right now you feel lonely, frustrated, and angry.  It may appear that everyone is looking out for your husband but there are know options for you son.  If I were you I would call child protection myself to start an investigation go with your guts because it is better to be safe than sorry.
308912
My husband suffers from combat stress syndrome, which is really the same thing. You really need to get professional help for that. He refuses to take medication because he doesn't want it to go on his record, so he just deals with it by talking about it. We all deal with it really. He has really bad mood swings and doesn't sleep much at all at night. I would never leave my husband, but he's really hard to live with sometimes. I wish he would consider taking medicine. He's been to Iraq 3 times and has spent alot of time in the jungle in Columbia and Hoduras.
642167
Sounds like you need to get some therapy !  Battered wife syndrome at the very least.  Did you like the abuse? Answering that question honestly to yorself will tell you to be or not to be friends with him.  DON'T MAKE EXCUSES FOR HIS ABUSE.
803941
Some people, in spite of their good qualities, have character flaws that make them 'control' freaks say...When he is not in control, he 'punishes' his wife...his own ego is so small, that he has to put her down,...for fear that she will get some attention, and that he will lose control of her...He must have some good qualities,..that are admirable...but many people are just plain spoiled rotten and when they don't get their way, they act like this....it is sickening...and I would ignore his actions if at all possible...like a spoiled rotten brat...don't let him think he has got to you...but the name calling...he makes an *** out of himself anyway...no need to say anything
241093
Guys are like that. My husband does it too. I think guys are just moody and hormonal too. Just got to get use to it. We love them, but they drive us nuts
397885
If you love him enough to put up with physical violence then you are the one who needs help. You shouldn't leave your spouse because they become mentally ill, but you should the day he started slapping you. Also, if he doesn't want to take an active part in his treatment and recovery(ie taking his medicine on his own) then you should definitely leave him because he doesn't love you enough to want to stop hurting you. I am mentally ill and I am all for helping and understanding people with these illnesses, but violence is not accaptable.
1015983
Honey, it's absolutely NOT you!!!  You are YOU, not just his wife.  You are an adult and should be able to be friends with others, hobbies other than what he likes, etc.  You DON'T have to do everything together.  You are you're own person.  The fact that he doesn't trust you with  male co-workers is a classic sign that HE should NOT be trusted because his way of thinking is "Well, if I'm capable of doing it, she must be doing it too".  \n\nYou should not have to walk on eggshells in your own house.  My husband and I were having some problems and he made me feel like everything I did was wrong.  He got irritated by every move I made and everything I said and did and we were miserable.  I was so confused because it was my first (and hopefully only) marriage and I was extremely disappointed in marriage and him.  \n\nOne day I had an epiphany.  I was letting myself be changed by him.  I no longer stood up for what I thought and what I did or did not like.  I was no longer ME.  I hate to be crude, but one day I thought to myself "What the f*ck is wrong with me?  He married me.  All my thoughts, flaws, mistakes, passions, talents, everything.....and I've been hiding myself.  Well, screw that!!!" \n\nHe came home from work and I told him.  I WILL BE MYSELF AND IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT, YOU CAN LEAVE BECAUSE I CAN DO THIS WITHOUT YOU AND BE HAPPIER.  IT'S YOUR CHOICE.\n\nTo tell the truth, our marriage has never been better and I'm crazy about him.  If he gets slightly irritated at something I do, too bad.  Everyone isn't perfect and he certainly isn't.  Suck it up, Man!!!  You are far from perfect!\n\nIf he doesn't change, get out.  Life is too short to live with someone who doesn't appreciate you for everything you are.  Be yourself.\n\nTake care,\n\nJoyce