how can a young widow take care of four children all alone?
154234
I'm going to go out on a limb here and make some suppositions. Since you said you are a young widow, I will assume that your four children are young as well. I will further assume that at least one of them is too young to even go to school or goes to school a half day. I'm going to also assume that your mega paying job reguires a mega amount of hours and you don't get a lot of time with your children. So, your choice is to provide for your children financially or emotionally, but you are worried that you can't do both. How am I doing so far?\n\nIf I am close, the most obvious answer is to use a nanny or other care giver. That would at least mean that your children will have someone to take care of their physical needs. A better answer might be to use friends and relatives to help take care of them. This is better because they can give more love to the children than a nanny would.\n\nI should probably mention another possibility. Getting remarried. Taking care of children is tough. It is much easier with two people.
621621
From reading your other questions about the three children and the dog. I can see tell that you must be overwhelmed to the point that a movie with another man might be tempting, but I don't think you need the jealous husband issue on your plate right now with all you've got going on.  When my first son was born a girlfriend told me this: \n"you will hate your husband for 3-4 years because they just don't get how much help you need. Stick it out it will pass". \nMy kids were 22 months apart and my husband was traveling with his job alot sometimes I thought it was easier without him.  I did hate him laying around  on the couch taking off to go fishing and stuff like that. Then having the nerve to wonder what was wrong with his sex life! but I stuck it out and it did pass. So Im passing it on to you. You pass it on if it works for you too.\nThese things also helped:\n1  Get as much rest as possible.\n2  Get out on your own for some exercise a couple of times a week alone if possible I started walking to loose the baby weight and to look for my sanity. If you have to take the kids not let the 5 year old ride a bike or scooter and you can push the babies in the stroller. \n3   Subscribe to a parenting magazing for tips on discipline at various stages of development hitting and yelling only make things worse in the long run (like the 5 year old hitting). \n4   And the really hard one is get out on a date with your husband even if it's only to your patio for a beer after the kids go to sleep.  With 3 kids you you need each other for support.\nI also found that I needed to get back to church when the kids were tiny that's a personal choice but we need all the strength and support we can get to do this mommy job.\nThis very demanding stage of parenting will pass and you'll be thinking ..wow I survived that! Bet you never dreamed you could do so much with so little sleep. But make these years count, keep your priorities in line, get all the love you can in those babies now and it will pay off later. \nPS I'd get rid of the dog untill the baby is in school. you don't need any more work.
403653
Yeah me (can my four children come)
511270
I think it depends entirely on the age of the children.  Is this a permanent situation [splitting them up?] If you believe that the kids are smart enough to make their own decision then let them make it.  If they aren't old enough, that makes this choice all the harder.  You need to keep their best interests in mind.  A dirty house, and an unattentive mom isn't as bad as it sounds.  But a mold encrusted, with bugs, worms, etc, with a mom who leaves the kids unattended is something else.  It's all a matter of degree.  In the end, just make sure it's something that's had a lot of thought.  Are you considering raising these kids with your boyfriend?  Are you going to be a part of their lives forever?  Remember that if you pull the kids out of a comfortable environment, then you'll have to give them something else to make up for it.
1053670
there's only just under 13 months between my older brother and myself, and I knew a lady once who had two children in eleven months.   She wasn't white trash, she's a pharmacist now.  Sometimes accidents happen, other times, people just plan their children to arrive quickly.   As long as they're taken care of, it's no-one elses business
656269
Take her to a play if one is nearby.  They are wonderful and hardly anybody takes their kids now days so it will be different.
288524
What would *I* do?  I'd take the kids somewhere safe (and our bags, because we're leaving at this point), be sure to p*ss him off real good when he comes home, have an all-out brawl in the living room, and after I've made my point, go to a good shelter.\nIf you're in this situation, and you wonder what I think YOU should do...  I think you should get in touch with your local police station, any churches, social services, etc., and find out how to contact your local womens' shelter.  Call them, and ask if they have room for you and the kids.  If they don't, get a list of other places nearby (we have 5 or so within 2 hours of here), and call them too.  If they do, only pack what you will need, and the childrens' favorites, and get gone.  Don't worry about food and clothes and toiletries if you're in a particular hurry, because they have TONS of that stuff donated all the time, and it's in storage.  If there's something you need that they don't have, they'll get it (like special formula for babies, etc.)\n\nI've stayed in a shelter like this.  They're great.  If you need to get out, do it.  Before he kills you, or he drives you crazy enough to kill him.
742225
First of all, as a Long Term Single Parent, let me give you a few hints:\n\n1.  Put the TV on a timer -- and Keep the control with you.  I used the Parental Controls built into my unit, and that was a way I LIMITED the amount of time that they had in front of the boob tube (and locked the Video Games in a Locking Cabinet -- I had the only key -- and once a week -- for an hour, they could choose which game to play -- but it had to be that they played together quietly -- after that .. the games went back into the cabinet).\n\nEach afternoon/evening is scheduled -- from the time they come home after school to bedtime.  I also made it clear that they would participate in certain activities -- like Scouting, an After School Program, and an Athletics Event/Program each season.  \n\nWhen they fought -- it was time out.  NOTHING -- no TV, no radio, no games, just do your homework or read a book -- and you had to be within sight of me while I was fixing the meal.\n\nEven small children can help with the chores -- list them out on a weekly schedule -- put the child's name next to a chore (and be sure to rotate them through all chores) and tell them you will check when they say they are finished -- and DO check -- and make them re-do if it is not the way that you know they can do it.\n\nHomework Time -- same time every day.  At least an hour to make sure that their homework is done -- and they would have to check off their assignments that were listed in their daily planners.\n\nIF fighting while out in public -- I would tell them and start walking to the Car right away.  We would NOT stay out and enjoy an activity or event IF they could NOT behave.  (and my children were disabled!)\n\nMake sure that you are WELL organized in the home.  Even the small children can put away their own clothes, or help you by learning how to fold laundry.\n\nSame with taking out the trash.  It is an easy job, and they can do it from an early age.
603823
Just be there for her.  If she has kids maybe suggest putting together a scrapbook or video journal for them. But just be there for her-best gift of all
125373
1.) Church 2.) Work 3.)Enroll the child in something\n4.) Go the park with child and observe the single fathers in the area. Pick a park in the area that has the most wealth.
93688
It would take a special man but I know they're out there.  My brother is one of them.  He took on the responsibility of another womans two children when they were very small.  They've since had two of their own and things are great for them.  They've been married for about 8 years!
986667
every one has a kid in side them
1092806
i think those ages are considered as the most busy to take care. becoz i really care for the children's safety and well being, therefore it will take me a lot of efforts in taking care of them. I will not let them go out of my sights. Make sure they're happy n so i wont be getting complaints frm the parents. I say i would charge for 3 kids for 6 hours at $ 600. Sounds expensive, hey i'm a responsible person. u gotta pay for my precious time too :)
45916
I can understand how one tragedy can lead to another. She may be ready to be a responsible parent but, the children may have already suffered irreversible harm especially the son who was beaten brutally. The state and the courts have a responsibliity to protect those children even when a parent is unable to. The courts and social services try to do everything they can to keep the family intact whenever possible. I don't know if there is anything she can do at this point. If she is not currently seeing her children, she can apply for visitation and the courts will decide the outcome. If they refuse visitation that will pretty much tell her that she has no chance to get them back.
392178
i know one, first find out their leader. then appoint the leader of those kids to be the guardian of your property, you just need a lot of persuading to do. at least you only need to  persuade one. if you cant find the leader, just look for the biggest and meanest kindergarten you'll find and appoint him to be your guardian!! hehe that'll work!
1117151
That depends on what state you live in and how many children you have.  Try www.cirs.org  they may be able to help
608496
That is a very tough question. I am sure most people will have a very hard time answering it. However, as a single mother of 4 children, this one is easy for me. I would save my child. Even if I had a spouse, I think I would save my child. They are the future and without them, we are nothing. Plus, my children are a part of me. I helped create them. There is a bond that can never be broken. However, I find this to be a very awful question for anyone to have to answer. What made you think of such a question? I am very interestd to know.