My husband is extremely selfish,lies to me,breaks his promises,and is addicted to porn,should I stay or leave?
147299
See a professional counselor or therapist, who specializes in these types of problems. He may have some problems due past issues. If you want it to work, you will need professional help. Best of health and happiness to both of you.
227738
Consider yourself lucky!! Most women complain about being in loveless/sexless marriages. You've got it made.\n\nWith the new information posted, I would say (sadly) that you're not so lucky. Since he refuses to get help on his own, you could try to get him to go into counseling with you. You might have to make it an ultimatum, but it seems that you may be better off without him anyway. I hope he'll agree to go with you and that you two can work it out, and if not, I'm sure there's a real man out there that will treat you as you deserve to be treated. Mine and my girlfriends prayers are with you.
718260
Addictions do not just go away.  If your husband refuses to admit that he has an addiction and needs help, he will never change.\n\nI highly suggest that you move out and start considering a formal separation.  If he refuses to listen when you do this, then face reality and look into a divorce.\n\nYou should not have to put up with his problem if he refuses to admit that he has one.  If his drinking is causing problems and he know this but is not willing to do anything about it, then he has made his choice and you lost to the addiction.
1025223
I think you already know.  You are not happy in this marriage, your husband doesn't care about your feelings at all.   You don't see any way to get him to change and you don't want to live this way.  I don't like to recommend divorce but if all you say is true than I think that would be the best thing if you want a happy future for yourself.
775910
This is really sad! I realize that you are a Christian so your first priority is to try to make your marriage work but, God doesn't expect you to stay in a relationship that could be devastating not only to you but to your child. First, if he's admitted he has a problem get him to counseling immediately!! You should probably get some type of counseling for yourself too. You've been through alot and I'm sure your self esteem has been compromised in all of this. After you have tried counseling & he continues to act this way, you have to save yourself & your child. You shouldn't allow this man to ruin 2 more lives.Think about your child & their future.
453472
Yes, it is. \nI found porn on my hubby's laptop, and (after I deleted it all, of course), I REALLY let him know how much it bothers me. He hasn't watched porn since. \n\nYou are his wife, and he should respect you, and to not do what bothers you. Contrary to popular belief, men do NOT have to look at porn...it's not a necessity for them to continue living. \n\nMy suggestion to you is to talk to your hubby about it...seriously talk. Also, consider all the reasons why he would be looking at porn. For example, if you two are not as intimate as you once were because of busy lives (jobs, kids, ect...). If this is the case, then do whatever you can to make time for him. Men need to feel attractive, desirable and wanted just like women need to. \nI wish you best luck!\n-Pegasus
252331
It just depends on how much you are willing to take from him.If you can't take anymore then leave.He obviously isnt going to quit doing whatever he keeps doing. Its been 5 times. Maybe you should seperate for awhile. Just to get away from the crap. I
861288
well a hard question, but if you have tried everything and talked to your husband about how you feel and he wont change then its time to end it.\nbe careful the fact that he digrades you and belittles you publicly is often the early signs of an abusive man. he is on a power trip and whats you to feel bad about yourself and make you think everything that happens to go wrong is your fault. once he gets you comfortablw with the he may get physically abusive to you. or else he may threaten to or actually harm your children. \nbe careful and make a plan for your exit. once you make up your mind you need to follow through and leave and don't ever look back\nif you want to talk to someone you can email me. ive been there and im out now.
721604
I'm sorry to hear that your husband is cheating on you because you're pregnant and this should be a happy moment. the easy answer would be to leave him but you have a child , perhaps a house and a commitment made before god through good and bad .\n\nSo you have to weigh your options\n\nmake a lis pros and cons, is he working? does he help with the kids? is he wiliing to consider counseling? will he do it again ? and if he lies when confronted thats a problem. if you chose to forgive your husband he has to be willing to work with you because trust has to be rebuilt ...rebuilding your marriage us goign to take alot of work are you willing to put the time and effort in having kids and being in love is not enough if your self image and ability to look yourself in the mirror is compromised
1123575
YOU HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO BE ANGRY. IT IS ABSOLUTELY CHEATING. IF HE'LL DO IT ON THE COMPUTER, THEN HE WILL DO IT IN REAL LIFE. BEEN THERE, DONE THAT. EXPLAIN YOUR POSITION VERY THOROUGHLY, AND IF HE CONTINUES TO DO IT, THEN LEAVE, BECAUSE THE NEXT STEP IS CHEATING WITH YOUR NEIGHBOR, BEST FRIEND, SOME PROSTITUTE ON THE STREETCORNER. IF YOU DON'T WANT TO LEAVE, THEN WAIT AROUND AND SEE. I ONLY HOPE THAT ITS NOT TOO LATE AND YOU END UP WITH AIDS OR SOME OTHER STD, OR END UP WITH KIDS AND HE TAKES OFF FOR THE TWENTY-SOMETHING DOWN THE BLOCK. ANOTHER THING THAT YOU CAN DO IS TELL ALL OF THESE INTERNET FLOOZIES THAT HE IS A MARRIED MAN, AND YOU WOULD APPRECIATE IT IF THEY WOULD LEAVE HIM ALONE. A LITTLE POLITENESS CAN GO A LONG WAY, AND IT WILL ALSO DEPLETE HIS LITTLE STABLE. GOOD LUCK, LADY.
106635
of course first of all you must talk to your husband. tell him all that you know about his computer "games" and tell him how he makes you feel and how he has been treating you. give him time to talk. be open honest and blunt. if you are blunt to him he will be to you. don't spare andy feelings this is your life if things don't work out with your husband then take it from there but don't betray him even if things turn for the worse (divorce) my advise is spend less time with the friend ( i know it will be hard) and more time with the family. Try to salvage your mariage before you indulge your short term desires. Be patient and have will power. GOOD LUCK AND GOD BLESS
730074
Tell him you want him to delete all the porn becuse he doesnt need it anymore since he has you. And he might also need some therapy.
946774
He definitley shows BIG signs of a porn addiction and he has probably had this addiction for longer then you will ever know. And honey, the monster of this will always at some point rear its ugly head. Its the hardest addiction to overcome and when they get bored with one thing such as the phone calls they will move on to something more thrilling and dangerous like prostitutes or even turn into online preditors of teenage girls (anyone that will help them get off). I was married to one myself and he sought counseling 4 different times and swore each time that he was cured. I believed him every time. Thank God I got the courage to finally leave, because he wound up with herpes from a prositute. Now you decide what you should do. Do you want to take that risk. Honey you deserve far better then a creep like that. Go get couseling for yourself and find the courage leave and go on with your life.
367825
I've been married for 3 years now, and let me tell you it has been hard at times.  My husband is very very compulsive about cleaning.  I however am the opposite.  He will come home from work and nag and complain NON STOP about everything about the house. When I do the dishes, he'll come in and yell at me because I'm not drying the right way, or I'm not stacking the right way.  We really had our breaking point when at 530am he was getting ready for work, and he took down the curtains because he wanted me to get a start on cleaning and making him breakfast.  Now I work full time too, and my alarm was set for 7am.  We had the biggest fight. I finally told him I couldn't take it anymore, he was bringing me down so much that I was starting to hate my self.  Just saying that too him killed him.  He had no idea that I was so unhappy.  After getting so much out he now makes an effort to make me feel better, he makes me breakfast in bed every Saturday.  And when he gets ready to complain or nag he holds back and simply offers the advice "take it or leave it"
788470
Tippy, the only way you are going to be able to deal with this is to forget it.  When you start remembering, stop.  Imagine something brings a smile to your face.  It's not wrong to stay with a man that you love, even if he's cheated.  But honey, it's your mental health that is taking the punishment.  You are going to have to forgive and forget to make it.  It's not easy and it's not going to happen over night.  I am sorry, your heart breaking is got to stop before it completly breaks.  \n\nDoes your husband help you?  What I mean has he ask for forgiveness?  Does he show you emotional support?  Honey, you need for him to help you with this.  Believe it or not, you need him to help heal from this wound.  He needs to be more loving, and shows that he cares that he hurt you.  If he's just blowing it off, like it happen-get over it-then you may never be able to fully forgive him and stop the tears.  He's the kleenex, he's the one that needs to wipe them away with his love.  \n\nHoney, you must remove the images, clean out all the thoughts of them together.  You are grieving in a sense, you have been betrayed, and it's like part of you has died.  It hurts, and it's so hard, but it can be done.  If you want to save your marriage, you are going to have too!  Your husband may have be so wrong, but now it's your turn to make sure you don't make it worse.  If you feel the tears coming on-focus on something else. Anything, but that.  When you start, or catch yourself thinking remember this...it's in the past and today's a new day, each day it will get less and less.  Your husband has got to do his part sweetie.  You can't make a marriage by yourself,  No matter how much you love him, unless you are going to be a silent wife, and just let him do what he wants when he wants.  You deserve so much more than that.  You deserve to be loved and respected, it's your choice your decision rather to forgive, and if this is what you want to do, you must not dwell on it any longer.  Kick yourself in the butt, if you have too.  I am so very sorry, no one should have their heart broken like this, but you aren't alone, and many marriages have become stronger from living thru what you are going through right now.  So, please dry those tears, take a deep breath, and remember it's all your choice how you deal with it.\nPraying that your heart mends, and the memories are forgotten, and that you have the strength to know you are worth true love and respect from the one you GAVE your heart to.  \n\nGod bless us all............
671743
I feel you. I think he could have try harder if he wanted to. I know the excuse "i forgot" or I was going to do it relax" and you didnt see shit done. If it is going to be like that I feel you should move out and take a break let him know you are not happy at all and you are under a lot of stress. What will he do without you. He needs to appreciate the things you do as a mother and wife. You need a man not another child you have to take care of. You must feel really lonely and yearning for a man.Take a break and try to relax, go out with friends and take a deep breathe.Try not to overthink yourself cause you will go crazy. I know you have bills to pay but figure out how to get out of this rotation with him cause after awhile it gets pretty tiring. I hope nothing but the best for you and take it one step at a time.
408224
Addictions are serious things to leave.  Viewing pornography is very addictive and you need help to get out of it.  Talk with your husband and install some parental control on your PC, with the only condition that you will set the password protection in it, so he cannot turn it off.\nIt's not impossible and it can be done.  Just make sure you are both in the same page, otherwise its going to bring you a lot of misery and shame.