Are you divorced, not by choice? How long did it take to smell the roses again?
155064
I got divorced 10 years ago and still not smelling roses.
785858
I have been married for 8 months, after being toghether for 4 years. The relationship went worst and worst from the 4-th day of marriage, and now we are waiting for the year to pass, so we could divorce... 0.001% satisfaction... :(
31457
It usually takes me forever to decide if I like someone, I wasn't sure about this one guy we weren't even technically dating yet(if that makes sense) till one night I went to kiss him on the cheek for goodbye(we were at a restaurant with all our friends and he had walked me to my car) he turned his head and kissed me on the lips this was about 2 or 2:30 in the morning and I had work at 9(I am NOT a morning person) but that morning I was on cloud nine, about a year later he proposed, six months after that we were married.  So sometimes it's really hard and takes awhile, probably cause people think about it too much, and other times it just happens.
971182
Sent me a dozen roses 3 times in one week. 3 different colours, and they were the most beautiful roses! He spent some time looking for those! After the third dozen roses, when I got home, there were rose petals  (the same colours as the ones he sent through the week) leading from our door into the bathroom. There were little notes in the "rose stream" that said one word on each note... Meet me here, I love you. He lit candles and filled a tub up. There was a bottle of wine and 2 glasses on the counter in the bathroom. The rest was history!
1153223
I did the same thing many years ago and we finally got back together after about a year apart and got married but ended up divorced before our 8th anniversary.   The problems that were there before were still always there, but I thought he would change and I was lonely and I hadn't gotten into another relationship.  He was my first love!   But 5 years after our divorce, I met a really wonderful man and we've been together now for 16 years and I can't even picture being with my ex anymore.  Sometimes a new relationship does the trick after you've had time to heal from the last.  I didn't think I could move on but I did and life has never been better!
282735
I stayed for 5 years longer than I should have.\nIt was an abusive relationship but it started slow and I kept believing his promises to stop and how sorry he was.  We found what I thought was a good church and things seemed to get better for a while but it was back to the 2-3 times a year yelling and shoving dominance establishing routine.  Nothing I ever did was good enough but I did not want my marriage to fail.  I kept hoping that this really was the last time he was going to be so horrid to me.\nSomeone eventually asked me "How much more of your life are you going to waste?" right around the time that he really lost it.  So I hit my f**k this s**t point and moved in with mom.  (Oh my god I had to move back in with my mommy.  I was an adult and I had to move back home.  How big of a loser was I?)\nAfter I moved out and all of a sudden he was really sorry and he did want to go to counciling after all and he really was going to change and we could take that trip to the mountains (3 hrs away) that we never had before.  I was angry that he was willing to change after I had left but I wasn't worth it before.  And that church I thought was so cool told me that I should forgive him amd move back in.  And they are supposed to be so supportative of women.  Guess I know better now.\nOn the up side, after I left I met the love of my life and we have been together for over a year.  Nothing like marrying your best friend.  And with what I have been through in the past I am well aware of how lucky I am to have a REAL husband and not just a spouse.
1108513
I have been where you are.  it took about 4 years after the divorce,  when i realized that we could have a casual conversation without getting deep, and you could tell that, tho it wasnt forgotten, it didnt seem to be as raw a subject anymore.  I told my ex that i was sorry, and i was wrong.  That he had been a good husband, and tho we didnt survive in our marriage for other reasons, that the infidelity on my part was wrong, and it should never had been a reason for anything-it was not ok to do it.  I did nothing but hurt innocent people, and myself.  I actually know that he accepted my apology as genuine.
751033
i am in the same boat. my exboyfriend still talks about his first wife about things she has done to him over 25-30 years ago. She emptied the house with all the furniture, and he came home after work to an emptied house. He has told me this story over and over again at least 1,000 to 2,000 in the past 6 years. Maybe it all about having an inflated ego.  He is so great he cannot imagine someone doing this to him.  I spent $3,000 to $5,000 on roses in  his front yard, and when he told me to leave his house, I pulled everyone up just to see how long he was going to talk about it or will he ever get over it. He still has it gotten over the roses being pulled up, and it is over 16 mos ago. Some people never let go.
634795
Wow - you did good - for me and my wife it was 4 years.\n\nBasically we'd built up a whole load of junk and it was through a marriage course that we got it all cleared out and were able to love each other again.\n\nDetails of the nearest course can be found at:\n\nhttp://themarriagecourse.org/marriage/\n\nI cannot recommend it enough - it saved us from a very messy divorce.  And 3 years on we are still very much in love...
513636
Actually, I think the amount of time that passed is NOT important, however, did you change? Did she change? Why did you split up 7 years ago? Consider these answers before leaping again, and make sure you both know what you are expecting from the other.
50812
it can take months or even years, but you really should ask a qualified divorce lawyer in your area.  If you don't have one, get one.
100137
It took ten years for my poor poor heart to mend after I divorced my husband of 13 years b/c he had a baby with an aquaitance of mine and I felt sorry for her not being married and all gave her a baby shower and gave her all my childs things (i did not know it was his child til later). It just takes time. I dove into my work and made new friends (seeing as how all my old friends knew it was his child and did not tell me) and spent some quality time with myself. I got to know me really well and decided I really liked the new me. Just give yourself time to heal and get involved with work and friends. It does help. Oh and try not to drown your sorrows in alchol and drugs. I tried that I lost everything I had AGAIN and had to start over. Good luck to you and try and hang in there the world has a lot to offer if you will just stop and look around. I am happily married now to a wonderful and caring man that adores me! I am living proof that your heart can and will mend. I may stil be cracked but it will heal.
186956
Yes, married (28 years this summer)\nIf I'm lucky 2 times a month we go out. If you count when we take our daughter. Without her, probably once every other month.
1091364
I was divorced & remarried after 3 years. \nI have now been remarried for 26 happy years. \nA marriage has to be worked at. \nThere are always going to be bad times but the trick is to work through them together & to support each other.
530875
My husband worked up a plan to pick up the ring he had purchased for me with the excuse we had to go shopping about an hour away. Unfortunately, the ring wasn't done so he had to stall for about 2 hours and change plans. He had to change plans and dragged me to a winery (I don't drink)on the way to my parents house for dinner (the dinner was already planned). At the winery, on the top of the hill overlooking the Sonoma Valley, he asked me to marry him.
1155505
Part of the therapy for getting over a divorce is to re-join the "human race".  With a divorce, we go through "separation anxiety" ... and that is a very miserable condition.\n\nDon't feel that you have to leap at the first opportunity to date ... but don't shy away from one that interests you.  Ease back into it, maybe by starting out going out with a group of friends, then a couple friends, then venturing out on your own.\n\nThere is no generally-accepted timeframe for waiting.  Let your own heart and needs determine that.  Just be cautious about "rebounding" and jumping into a worse relationship than the one you just left ... just because "it's there" and you're hurting.
651515
I've been on both sides of this. I lost my mom when I was only 4 years old. My dad remarried almost right away. I was too young at the time to say anything. But later he divorced her and started dating again when I was like 12 years old. None of my siblings were happy about it. We wanted our dad to ourselves.  Well, they got married. We haven't always liked her or got along. But, my dad is happy and that's all that mattera. I've been on the other side too. I dated a man who had two teenage kids. Him and his wife had divorced recently. The kids did not want their dad to date. They made life very difficult and caused me a lot of heart ache. I really liked them and just wanted to get to know them. In the end I simply couldn't do it anymore and I left. He's dating again but I think he's talked to his kids since then and they are a lot more accepting. Moral of the story: If they make your dad happy try to be happy for him. I'm sorry for your loss.