I am looking for answers for questions of adopted kids when they grow up and meet birth mother?
147432
Great question!  What a great Mom you are...\n\nThere are lots of adoption support groups online that can help you.   \n\n\nGreat Articles\nhttp://www.adoption-help.org\n\nSupport Groups:\n\nhttp://groups.msn.com/TheForgottenPeople\n\nYahoo! Groups\nhttp://groups.yahoo.com\n\nSearchingRegistry\nfamilytiesadoptionsearch\nadoptee-support\nsoaringangels\nusaadoptiondatabase\ntouchedbyadoption\n\n\nGoogle Groups\nalt.birthright \nalt.support.adoption\nalt.support.adoption\n\nAlso here are some books to consider:\n\nSearch : A Handbook for Adoptees and Birthparents 3rd Edition\nby Jayne Askin\n\nWhose Child? : An Adoptee's Healing Journey from Relinquishment through Reunion ... and Beyond\nby Kasey Hamner\n\n\nBirthright : The Guide to Search and Reunion for Adoptees, Birthparents, and Adoptive...\nby Jean A. S. Strauss \n\n(you can buy this books used on shopping.Yahoo.com and on Amazon.com)\n\nhttp://shopping.yahoo.com/b:Books%20%26%20Magazines:53087558
635966
yes....i would deffinately search for my birth parents...\ni am not adopted, but my biological father left my mum pregnant with twins (me and my sister) so i didnt even know him or anything about him...i grew up thinking that my stepdad was my real dad until i was about 7 and a half when they told us because we had to go to our real grandfathers funeral! i never realy wondered about my real father, but recently however, me and one of my good friends have been looking onto finding our birth fathers as her dad left when her mum was pregnant too!...i want to find him, but only to get like medical history and just to know a LITTLE bit about where i came from on his side and not just on mums side...so i think that if you DO want to know a bit about your birth mum then go ahead and go for it, because nothing is holding you back except yourself! and your fears of what she is really like, so dont hold back!
29708
There is something like a national birth parent registry I think.  You can probably contact ANY adoption agency for more information.
750872
Well, the good news is, you can contact the adoption agency your parents adopted you from. Ask your parents...they know where they got you.\nThe bad news is,  it's going to cost at least $100 CDN to start the process...usually the agency contacts your biological parents...but if they don't want you to know who they are, you're at a stand still. The agency can't give any information they are not authorized to give. So, be prepared for all possible outcomes.\nGood luck.
990865
My best advice is to take things slow.  It is very intimidating to meet someone new like that.  When I met my birthmom back in 2000, we decided to keep it just her and my half sisters rather than me meeting the entire family.  Just take it one day at a time and have fun.
204384
Adoption records are indeed sealed unless by court order, and you would likely need a more compelling reason than "I want to know" to get a court order. One avenue to work on is Illinois' Adoption Registry, where you can register, and if your birth mother has or does register, they will allow you to exchange information. Information and forms are at the site below.
609783
Here is a link to search statutes by state for issues related to child adoption. Results will provide summaries of State statutes (and full text of laws, in some cases).\nhttp://naic.acf.hhs.gov/general/legal/statutes/search/index.cfm\n\nHope this helps. Best wishes and God bless
736685
we need more information - where was she adopted from do you know the adoption agency what country what age would she be now - add this information into your question please
198990
There are lots of adoption support groups online that can help you.    Never Give Up! \n\nwww.zabasearch.com \n\nwww.ussearch.com (the first part is free)..and this can tell you where she lives..(city and state)\n\nwhite pages to find listed people\nwww.theultimates.com\n\nGreat Articles\nhttp://www.adoption-help.org\n\nSupport Groups:\n\nhttp://groups.msn.com/TheForgottenPeople\n\nYahoo! Groups\nhttp://groups.yahoo.com\n\nSearchingRegistry\nfamilytiesadoptionsearch\nadoptee-support\nsoaringangels\nusaadoptiondatabase\ntouchedbyadoption\n\n\nGoogle Groups\nalt.birthright \nalt.support.adoption\nalt.support.adoption\n\nAlso here are some books to consider:\n\nSearch : A Handbook for Adoptees and Birthparents 3rd Edition\nby Jayne Askin\n\nWhose Child? : An Adoptee's Healing Journey from Relinquishment through Reunion ... and Beyond\nby Kasey Hamner\n\n\nBirthright : The Guide to Search and Reunion for Adoptees, Birthparents, and Adoptive...\nby Jean A. S. Strauss \n\n(you can buy this books used on shopping.Yahoo.com and on Amazon.com)\n\nhttp://shopping.yahoo.com/b:Books%20%26%20Magazines:53087558
1035545
Steps for Locating Adoptees, Birth Parents, and Adoption Records\nIt is estimated that 2% of the U.S. population, or about 6 million Americans, are adoptees. Including biological parents, adoptive parents, and siblings, this means that 1 in 8 Americans are directly touched by adoption. Surveys show that a large majority of these adoptees and birth parents have, at some point, actively searched for biological parents or children separated by adoption. They search for many different reasons, including medical knowledge, the desire to know more about the individual's life, or a major life event, such as the death of an adoptive parent or the birth of a child. The most common reason given, however, is genetic curiosity - a desire to find what a birth parent or child looks like, their talents, and their personality. \nWhatever your reasons for deciding to start an adoption search, it is important to realize that it will most likely be a difficult, emotional adventure, full of amazing highs and frustrating lows. Once you're ready to undertake an adoption search, however, these steps will help you get started on the journey. \n\nBeginning the Search \nThe first objective of an adoption search is to discover the names of the birth parents who gave you up for adoption, or the identity of the child you relinquished. \n\nJust like a genealogy search, an adoption search should always begin with yourself. Write down everything you know about your birth and adoption, from the name of the hospital in which you were born to the agency which handled your adoption. \n\nThe best place to turn next, is your adoptive parents. They are the ones most likely to hold possible clues. Write down every bit of information they can provide, no matter how insignificant it may seem. If you feel comfortable, then you can also approach relatives and family friends with your questions. \n\nGather together all available documents. Ask your adoptive parents or contact the appropriate government official for documents such as an amended birth certificate, petition for adoption, and the final decree of adoption. \n\nContact the Agency or the State that handled your adoption for your non-identifying information. This non-identifying information will be released to the adoptee, adoptive parents, or birthparents, and may include clues to help you in your adoption search. The amount of information varies depending upon the details that were recorded at the time of the birth and adoption. Each agency, governed by state law and agency policy, releases what is considered appropriate and non-identifying, and may include details on the adoptee, adoptive parents, and birth parents such as: \nMedical history \nHealth status \nCause of and age at death \nHeight, weight, eye, hair color \nEthnic origins \nLevel of education \nProfessional achievement \nReligion \nOn some occasions, this non-identifying information may also include the parents ages at time of birth, the age and sex of other children, hobbies, general geographical location, and even the reasons for the adoption. \n\n\nRegister in State and National Reunion Registries, also known as Mutual Consent Registries, which are maintained by government or private individuals. These registries work by allowing each member of the adoption triad to register, hoping to be matched with someone else who might be searching for them. One of the best is the International Soundex Reunion Registry (ISRR). \n\nJoin an adoption support group or mailing list. Beyond supplying much needed emotional support, adoption support groups can also provide you with information concerning current laws, new search techniques, and up-to-date information. Adoption search angels may also be available to assist with your adoption search. \n\nIf you're very serious about your adoption search and have the financial resources (there is usually a substantial fee involved), consider petitioning for the services of a Confidential Intermediary (CI
479140
Who cares.so what if you were adopted.You love the parents you have now don't you? They are still your parents,it doesn't matter who had you.They raised you and loved you all this time.
1049424
Best thing to do, is to go to the website that they have, and contact them directly.  Put in your request to give all information to them about birth mother, whereabouts, phone number, etc., and if the child has a desire to find out, they will give him the information.  They will NOT contact him with this unless he wants to know and gets in touch with them.  This is to protect him.  I am adopted, and knew of my birth mother from day one,  so my case is different.  I can only pray he's asked, and they've kept track of him so when you finally give them the information, they will forward it to him.  They do have reunion and contact services....so that's a plus and a VERY good sign!  I wish you the best!  \n\nListed below, links to help, the first being the contact info for Catholic Charities, including an email address.
1156431
I don't have the first-hand experience of parenting a child with RAD, but I also adopted a child. I went through the training all adoptive parents go through prior to adopting my daughter, and my understanding is that it's a pretty tough situation to get into. You won't be alone though, and there are lots of counselors who specialize in working with kids and families where there's RAD. If you feel connected to the child (obviously you do, or you wouldn't be considering such a tough decision), I say go for it, but be prepared with the names of some good counselors to consult.
1080484
Hi!  I am sorry about the situation you are in.  I used to be a step-mom but now I am an adoptive mother.  When I married my daughters dad I automatically became step-mom.  I then adopted them (by the way, my husband had to adopt them with me even though he is the biological father).  My name is now on the girls birth certificates as if I was the one who gave birth to them.  The natural mother loses all rights- even her name on their legal birth certificates!  I hope you can give your step-mom a chance.  It'll be hard, I know.  I was lucky, my girls were very little and I'm the only mom that they know and love.  Is she mean to you or jealous of you?  Are you jealous of her relationship with your dad?   Please figure out why you don't like her and maybe the both of you can work it out.  You are not being disloyal to your mother if you like the step.  You didn't mention whether your mom is still in the picture.  I assume and hope she is still alive.  If not, I'm sorry.  Please, for your sake give step -mom a chance.  The more allies you have on your side the better.  Besides, I know you must love your dad and there could be no worse heartache than seeing the two women closest to him feeling that way.  See it in your heart to be happy for him.  There must be something worth liking about her if your dad picked her for his wife.
268065
It depends.  If you are adopted, go to the agency.  Ask your parents if they have information, etc.\n\nIf you are not adopted, but your dad is deceased, you should ask your grandparents, aunts and uncles, and etc.  \n\nIf your Dad left the family and you don't know where he or his family is, then you are stuck asking your mom.  She may be a little hesitant at first, but if you are respectful and polite, I'll bet she will tell you.  \n\nCheck your birth certificate and record the name of your birth father and the place that you were born.  You might be lucky if you go to the town clerk's office and look for his birth certificate there.  Lots of times we are born in the same town as our father.  It just happens sometimes.  It's a thought.\n\nThere are searching services to help you.  I don't know which ones are reputable. \n\nhttp://www.ask.com/web?q=how+do+I+find+my+birth+parents%3F&qsrc=0&o=0\n\nhttp://www.google.com/search?sourceid=navclient&ie=UTF-8&rls=RNWE,RNWE:2006-03,RNWE:en&q=birth+parents\n\nhttp://search.yahoo.com/search?fr=slv2-msgr&p=search%20birth%20parents\n\nGood luck in your search for truth.
390220
I agree. I am a step-mother and also an adoptive mother. My baby is only 10 months old but MANY times already I have had someone introduce my family in this manner.......I'd like you to meet Samantha and Tom....and this is Tom's son Daniel and their adopted daughter Anna. \nEverytime this happens I have gone back and asked the person why they chose to introduce us this way.... EVERY one has said Daniel was introduced as Tom's son "because he is Tom's from another marriage and I didn't want to give the impression that you and Tom were his parents" OK I say fair enough... What about Anna being adopted. Why did you mention that? ALL I'VE EVER GOTTEN IS A BLANK STARE , NO REPLY !! Don't guess I'll ever know WHY people do that.
1163347
I could tell you stories till you beg me to stop. Most children go to State homes-they are not adopted and many do not have family here to take care of them. A few in numbers do fine.\n State homes--you would not believe what happens to many here-especially if they go to Foster homes. I listened to stories on a daily work basis--they are sad. Visit a home and ask them. 8 out of 10-wish they were not left here. Sad but true. I won't go into what happens to most-because of adult content. Oprah once said when she interview some--it is one of America's dirty secrets. Most parents leave them for selfish reasons-I heard them too. they hope they will all benefit. If Mother's would listen they would not leave their children with other people.  I don't know where you are headed with this-but yes go talk to the children who grew up on the State-there are many-more than are left with family. \n That is the bad side-but there are some good stories-but if you weight them out -the worst happens.\n So who have babies and have kept them here--how many are doing very well. Few in numbers I bet.\n\nCan you hear a pin drop  in here?