can a cheating spouse ever be trusted again?
151550
I am sorry to say this as the simple fact that you are asking  means you want to forgive your spouse. In my personal past experience as well as the experiences of my friends (both male and female) evrytime a cheater was taken back, they did it again. Some immediately, some years later, one with the same person (which hurts like you have no idea) and only ONE that has seemingly never done it again, BUT the trust has never been the same so the relationship has never gotten back to what it once was. Good Luck with your decision.
775330
Forgiving and forgetting are two different things and while your husband may have forgiven u, it doesn't mean he's forgotten about it  The trust that was rebuilt between u since then may  now be more fragile than it was before u cheated so it requires more of an upkeep (on your part).\n\nJust realize that trust, once broken, isn't something that's rebuilt overnight.  Sometimes it takes yrs and even then, it may never be 100% again.  The fact that your husband wants to salvage the marriage does NOT make him weak.  Quite the contrary.  It takes a very strong person to be able to forgive something like this.
84750
i think it is possible for a man to cheat and then not  do it again. the only problem is that you will never forget what happened. and no matter how much he says to try to convince you that he will never do it again, it possible that in your mind he will always be a cheater, therefore you may not be able to trust him.\n\nyou have to make a promise to yourself that if you forgive him, you also have to forget.\n\nalso, if you do forgive him for cheating, it shows him that that is something that you are willing to forgive. because you show that cheating is forgivable, he may do it again.\n\ngood luck with your decision - it is a hard one.
727890
This is his issue, he needs to resolve this one himself...He needs to know tho, that not everyone is the same.  Because he was cheated on before doesn't mean it will happen again.  What you need to do is move on, as hard as it may seem at the present moment, in the long run it will be fore the better.  Just know this is not you, its him and don't wait, he will come back with the same issues.  \nI was in the military and i have seen oh so many times relationships end because of one or the other cheating and heck how do you know he wont cheat? it works both ways...If he really truly loves you maybe you can work things out but, know this trust is number one in a healthy relationship, no trust, no relationship....He really needs to fix himself before getting involved with anyone....
281110
Well i will tell you what i am in a similar situation and we are trying to rebuild the trust but if he is gonna do it again then there is nothing you can do to stop it so you should try not to worry too much and you just love that person as much as you can. I know it is easier said then done cause i am really haveing a hard time as well.
956767
yes its quite true i think. everyone that i have talked to or have actually know to have been cheated on the same person has done it again after all the promises. they probably do love you but they cant help but try to see if they can still get the charm going to get someone else to. its hard to find someone that will be up front honest trusting and will never cheat. read tips on love and relationships to help you better on this site
322368
She might start to trust you again, to some degree, but it will never be like it was before you treated.  She will never be able to say, "I know he would never betray me like that."  because you did.
669782
no...you have to trust again at some point.  just be careful at first, and give yourself plenty of time to heal from the wounds others have given you.  you can't go through life not trusting anyone.  just be careful about who you trust, and don't do it right away.  make them earn your trust.
774577
Yes my Hubby cheated 3 years ago,We did seperate for about 3 months, anyhow we ended up working it out..We got way to comfy in the marriage and things started to go downhill,And then the unthinkable happened..My first thought was divorce when i found out..as i said i moved out..But until your put in this position you just never know ..I felt if i could LEARN to trust him again and of course forgive him for what he did knowing it would take ALOT of time and patience on his part for the damage he caused to me, Then i would be willing to try it again..Today we are very very happy, The best our marriage have ever been.. And its taken awhile but i believe it was worth it. We have been together 17 years now..But if it ever happens again, I will be divorced..And no LOOKING BACK!
692413
It will be a rough ride but you will have to accommendate the spouse until they feel they can trust you again.  This will include telling them where you are, what you will be doing and hearing the infraction over and over again until they feel you are trustworthy again. \n\nIt will not be easy.
609851
It's very hard to fully trust a person after they cheat. Even if you forgive them, it's always in the back of your mind that they did it. However, some people have moved beyond a cheating history and married and lived happily for many years...if you truly believe that he won't cheat again and that you have it in you to marry this man, then you should.
15151
First, you have my sympathy. Betrayal always hurt. I am sure that you are torn up inside. However, let me point out several thing. Isn't better to know his character now-- otuside of marriage, if that is where you were hoping the relationship would go-- rather than after marriage?  Second, recognize that people rarely change their stripes, if he comes back and wants a second chance... I would encourage you to firmly let him know that "betraying for five years does not deserve asecond chance. You have no intention to give him the chance to hurt you again."\nFinally, remember that women cheat on men too! So your questions can be better phrased, why do people cheat when they are in a love relationship?
115447
It is human nature not to trust someone that has hurt you that bad.   It is hard to work through that pain,  You will never trust each other like you did before.  Realize that and accept the fact you both have cheated.\n\nNow you need to move beyond it.  Forget trust, and stop worrying.  Concentrate on the reasons that you both want to stay together.  Rebuild your relationship on thse reasons.  If it's for the kids, make the kids the center of your life.  If it's because you still love each other, concentrate on that.  \n\nNow go to counselling.
830345
once a cheater always a cheater, why try to make it work?
245212
you can trust them again but you will never have the same trust for them again you'll always wonder if there out there cheating on you again
510623
Trust is one of the most important things. If some cheated on me then I'd want to know.  Whether to continue with the relationship would depend on how you found out you were being cheated on. If he or she came to you, then you know this person has a conscience and you may be able to continue with the relationship eventually letting go of the hurt from their indiscretion. But if they never said anything and you found out another way I think it would be best to let go of that relationship because there will be serious trust issues. I personally don't do the whole getting back at my significant other thing. If you have forgiven him/her then it wouldn't be fair to keep bringing it up or punishing them for what they've done. So if it's something you can't get past. Let go.
594557
Yes, your marriage can be revitalized and your trust restored!  You will need to work together to rebuild it, but it can definitely become stronger and deeper if you both choose to make it so. It is a process, though, not an event. I am a Mars Venus relationship coach and if you'd like to learn how to work through this challenge, feel free to email me at marsvenuscoach@yahoo.com.