Why is it in a relationship when someone, either guys/girls don't understand what the word "no" really means,?
148124
Three reasons.\n\nFirst, a lot of cultural conditioning (stereotypes) exist around the belief that someone can "wear her/him down" through assertiveness and persistance. And that doing so is a good thing. Under this stereotype, which you can see all over the place, "no" doesn't mean the same thing as "NO!". \n\nIn other words, the "I don't think so" or "not now" is interpreted as just a ploy, or a test of the other's persistence. Note: I dont' agree with this idea, but I have noticed it a lot in watching other people.\n\nThe second reason is that people are taught to lie. Yes, you heard that right. People are taught to say what they think the other person wants to hear, to be "polite" rather than truthful, so as not to hurt someone else's feelings. It gets even fuzzier when you take into account that most people are taught to (and do) rely on body language and tone of voice, rather than listening to the actual words spoken.\n\nBecause of this, people are forced to rely on their own guesses what about someone really means, rather than being able to trust what that other person has actually said. This leads to all kinds of misunderstandings.\n\nThird, paradoxically, the problem exists because a lot of people are uncomfortable saying "No" when they really want to. Because of this, the assumption by a lot of people (I'm generalizing to make a point) is that you can't trust what someone else says, so why listen?\n\nMost of these are the result of communications problems, and the fact that many people have different styles and modes of speaking and listening. Some sociologists have categorized this by gender, but that just makes other assumptions that I don't think are safe to rely upon. The bottom line is, to solve this problem, you need to be able to communicate with your partner without ambiguity.\n\nFinally, in a small number of cases, you may be dealing with someone who is so selfish that what you want doesn't matter. Or if not you personally, I'm sure other readers have run across this situation. The only thing you can do there is bail, unless you don't mind someone else making all the decisions for you.
709904
When said, "understand what am saying", it DOES NOT MEAN, that the person is trying to confirm that you understood what he is saying, it is more like saying, "don't you agree with that/me", and you respond,, yea,, or hell yeaa, to see if you are in the same boat.\n\nREMEMBER, they way you speak your language is different for many.
42964
it vould mean a lot  of thing s men are hard to understand so trust me don't try to figure them out, he might wantt to be freinds or it just means he is breakking up with you or it means that he just wants to hang
95464
It can be a maturity issue, too, irrespective of the actual age of the person using the epithet.  My 16 year old daughter always tells me that I "don't understand" when the truth is that I understand just fine, I just don't agree.  "Lack of Understanding" is similar to me as "close-minded" and sounds like it comes from someone frustrated by his or her inability to change the mind of the person being spoken to in a matter about which the speaker is passionate. Passion is a feeling, feelings often calm down when maturity lends perspective.
63758
Sounds like there's a communication problem going on.  She might be saying something that you're not understanding.  I'd try to do a lot of listenening, and ask her what she means by what she says.  But you need to be really patient and understanding.  Don't try to defend yourself.  Don't try telling her where she's wrong.  Just try to understand what she's feeling and what you can do about it.  That could be a good start.
47524
When you realize that the relationship isn't meeting your needs and conclude that it isn't going to any time soon...\n\nMany relationships are "dead" or go nowhere, there is no definitive "line in the sand" that is crossed. The line is really internal, a realization that continuing is pointless.
165954
Wish it would but guys just don't speak the language women do so they will probably think that nothing's the problem if you don't speak up.  Chances are, when he finally notices that you're giving him the cold shoulder and asks you why and you reply "don't you get it?" as if it were obvious to him why, he will genuinely be surprised and offended at your drama queen antics and be more upset at you for not telling him there was a problem in the first place.
1147579
Ultimatums are used when one person feels that the relationship (or whatever the topic) is not going anywhere. It's kind of like a last chance to see if they are getting what they're looking for out of that relationship. Clearly, it doesn't always work, but that when a lady knows she isn't in the relationship she wants and it's time to move on.
426796
I'm misunderstood by my wife all the time. I misunderstand people, or misinterpret...I usually go to great lengths to accurately describe what I'd said to my wife so the misunderstanding could be cleared up...\n\nCommmunication can be tough...thats why I try to articulate myself as best as possible.\n\nIf its someone I don't really know...they can think whatever they want.
537383
He probably is not clueless, he is just not interested. I noticed that when my boyfriend does not want to deal with something or someone, he just ignores it. Seems like the same thing is happening to you.
538919
Listen to what he says instead of trying to read into 'non-verbal communication.'  I've found that women tend to think of themselves as very intuitive (women's intuition), but more often than not, they are wrong about what they perceive.  I think this is largely because the other person isn't saying what they want to hear so they look for other 'signals' that they interpret as being a way of communicating what they wanted to hear in the first place.
1068196
Love is about respect.  If he truly loves you, regardless his feelings on the matter, he will RESPECT yours!  The truth is, an individual who has the audacity to say "if you don't have sex with me, you don't love me" is suspect; I'd have to say that in saying so, they are showing that, in all likelihood, they don't love you!  Tell him: If YOU LOVED ME, you would respect my desire to wait until marriage-and if you don't have that level of respect for me, WE DON'T BELONG TOGETHER!.
204826
A guys usually says what he means. There is no hidden meaning whatsoever. If he says that he doesn't love you no more, he means it. Don't let him play you.
617870
Alot of times guys do not know why they no longer want to be with someone or just outright do not want to deal with the problem so they ignore it all together and hope that it or you goes away.
678971
My girl and I try many things. Why be afraid to ask? If you are afraid to ask the person you are with about this than you shouldn't be together.
162645
They CAN make up their minds...often, they just don't want to. Or they know that their girlfriend won't like the decision, so they put off sharing it. If a guy refuses to make up his mind, he's still giving you an answer in an indirect way. It may not be the one that you want, but it's an answer nonetheless.\n\nDr. Barb Nefer, http://www.bnlifeskills.com
1317
There are different ways to say "no", very much depends on gender factor, I believe.\n\nA girl to say "no" to a senior have to show that she's strong.\n\nA lad to say "to" to a senior have to show that he is weak.\n\nHow to show? That's another topic.