Can u trust your spouse after u catch them cheating,seperated ,thinking about working it out,should i?
151150
I would suggest seeking counciling and taking the high road the first time. \n\nYou might learn about why it happen if you read the book by Willard harley Jr. called (His Needs, Her Needs) It is a book about affairs and it does not deal with male infedelity. It also looks into why a wife might cheat. \nFYI women can actually break off an affair easier then men ( if they have a reson to leave the other man) \n\nI guess what your going to have to consider is can you forgive her?\nDid you know what her 5 basic "needs" were? and ignore them. \nDoes she know your 5 basic "NEEDS" were? \n\nDo either of you know each others "LOVE LANGUAGE" \nIf not I would suggest getting professional help. First having a neutral party hwo can referee your disagreement can bring added weight when he/She suggest something to either of you. \n\nNow you also need to understand this problem will not be fixed over night. she has to rebuild trust, and you have to rebuild her "love bank" this takes months if not a year or more. but you may find it was the best investment you ever made. \n\nGod Blessing be with your family.
395080
Trust is what keeps relationship rolling!\nU may start wondering, DO U TRUST HIM? DO U TRUST YoURSELF? DO U STILL BELIVE THAT u 2 CAN WORKOUT TOGETHER???? And only than, if U belive, \nask him a qestion, look him strait in the eyes, and U'll see, TRUTH or LIE, but U'll just know...
692413
It will be a rough ride but you will have to accommendate the spouse until they feel they can trust you again.  This will include telling them where you are, what you will be doing and hearing the infraction over and over again until they feel you are trustworthy again. \n\nIt will not be easy.
657439
Do you think that you'll ever be able to trust him again?  Is he changed?  Is he sorry that he cheated on you?
344145
Hmmm...I can not advocate that cheating on your husband no matter what the circustances are is right because if you are unhappy you at least owe it to him to voice your emotions and to move on. Just because you don't have a good relationship does not mean that his feelings should be neglected just to satisfy your own. Since you two have been together for quite some time don't you think that you owe him that much to be honest? You say that he treats you badly and that you are unhappy but I'm sorry that doesn't justify your cheating in anyway especially considering that you have no children involved that might cause you to be stuck in staying. As for the guy that you are seeing now, maybe you are in love and perhaps a future with him will be great but you are more or less in that fairytale stage of a relationship where they can do no wrong and this will fade. If this is something that you honestly feel is worth pursuing in order to make yourself happy then go for it by all means. Just remember that your happiness does not need to be based on a man and that you can find it yourself no matter what the outcome. I think that the betrayal and hurt is going to be worst for your husband who has no idea of what is about to surface and that for you it might be hard but that you'll make it since you have realized that this marriage is no longer what you want. I'm in no way trying to put you down or belittle you for your actions because it happens to the best of us since we are all only human but I would definitely consider your situation a little further and make sure that this guy just doesn't look like a better option because you dont really have the repsonsbilities and obligations that you share with your husband. There are no stings attached at this point with this new guy so it makes it all light-hearted and fun and if you do both embark on a relationship (especially a long distance one) there will be difficulties that will eventually come along. I would suggest taking some time out for yourself once you get a divorce and not rush into anything too quickly. I think that you need to hash out somethings with yourself instead of seeking comfort from a man that is merely supplying what is lacking in ur current relationship. Obviously if you decided to get married to your spouse, these feelings at one point or another were there with him and look at what has become of that. I think you need to just really spend some time with yourself and getting to reaquainted with your independent single self before finding an identity in someone else. I'm sure you are a good person and I hope that whatever choice you make that you will find the happiness that you seek. Just remember the feeling of everyone else involved and don't let your heart do all of the thinking for you during a time when you need to use your head. Best of luck to you:)
178586
Well he has betrayed you and it will take alot of work on his part to build that trust back up again. Why do you think you are giving him permission to do it again? Make certain that he does leave her, go for some counseling, you WILL need it, this is a serious blow to a marriage, some can make some can't. As for knowing for a fact that he broke it off, outside of being with him when he tells her you would just have to take his word for it. I am really sorry that you are going through this. Many say once a cheater always a cheater and to tell you the truth that is true in many many cases.\n If you love him then TRY to work it out, make certain that he attends counseling WITH you. Love can see you through a lot of pain but HE will have to work extra hard to rebuild your trust in him.\n  I wish you the best and hope things work the way that you want them to. Good Luck
115447
It is human nature not to trust someone that has hurt you that bad.   It is hard to work through that pain,  You will never trust each other like you did before.  Realize that and accept the fact you both have cheated.\n\nNow you need to move beyond it.  Forget trust, and stop worrying.  Concentrate on the reasons that you both want to stay together.  Rebuild your relationship on thse reasons.  If it's for the kids, make the kids the center of your life.  If it's because you still love each other, concentrate on that.  \n\nNow go to counselling.
732407
Hi, I think the only way to really know is to look into your heart and go with what you are feeling.  If you cant trust your partner then maybe you shouldnt be with that person.  I know its hard, but until they give you a reason NOT to trust them, try to trust their word.  Its miserable when you dont trust your partner, so just believe they have been faithful until you find out differently.  You might find that they have been faithful all along.  Good luck to ya, Debi
1176834
if your partner is willing to move on then you should too. it is very painful to stay with a cheating spouse.all the bitter memories pops up in your mind again and again. the thing to do is forgive. you must never think of taking revenge. talk to your partner and try to mend whatever is left of the relationship.dont try to forget...you can never forget. but you can forgive. then you will move on.remember that you have won and your spouse really loves you...or else he wouldnt be with you. remember people makes mistakes. dont repeat his mistakes. if he repents for his mistakes then embrace him. start a new life. go to councelling, pick up sports, spend time to gether. after all life is short.
217250
depends....if she cheats on him with you, can you trust her in the future?
1165746
I don't think so, I trust my husband and he trust me but why put yourself in the situation where something can happen.\n\nWe all know that when your out drinking sometimes you can get carried away, don't let the stress of parting separately ruin your relationship
249385
Cheating!  And look what's become of you as a result of being with a person you don't, and should not trust.  You cannot stop someone from cheating.  You can however control yourself. Time to move along.  Better to be alone than to be driven to insane behavior.  Sure relationships require work, but not hard labor.  Is this how you want to live you life worrying and snooping?  There really are honest, true men out there, and there is one waiting for you.
263500
You could have tried, but he may not have believed you.  Infidelity by a loved one usually is something that many people need to see for their own eyes to believe.  Especially, if the marriage seems fine to them on the outside.
510623
Trust is one of the most important things. If some cheated on me then I'd want to know.  Whether to continue with the relationship would depend on how you found out you were being cheated on. If he or she came to you, then you know this person has a conscience and you may be able to continue with the relationship eventually letting go of the hurt from their indiscretion. But if they never said anything and you found out another way I think it would be best to let go of that relationship because there will be serious trust issues. I personally don't do the whole getting back at my significant other thing. If you have forgiven him/her then it wouldn't be fair to keep bringing it up or punishing them for what they've done. So if it's something you can't get past. Let go.
751551
I agree with RaRa. Once a cheater, always a cheater. Who needs to worry everytime you are not with him that he may be up to no good? Be with someone you can trust!
56702
I doubt it! Some people will cheat no matter what you do, other will if given a reason. Dont give your partner a reason!
121304
Don't rush to conclusions, because you might be breaking a really good relationship.  If you are 100% sure, there is still the question whether the offense is unforgivable that it is worth breaking a really good relationship.  Maybe you should help the significant other get his/her mind back by showing yourself and making sure that he/she knew that you witnessed something which can be interpreted as "cheating" or infidelity.