i need help with a marriage problem?
147374
Your first option is to ask him.  Make sure you don't do it as an attack, or he'll probably cover it up.  Also, if you do it as an attack, and he isn't cheating, then he'll feel resentful and feel like any trust you two had, is gone.  Another option is to ask a friend {or PI} to watch your husband for a while.  Call him at work to see if he's there, find out what he's doing if he's "working extra hours"  Check emails, internet history, phone calls in and out, and so on.  Don't be afraid to pop in at lunch to surprise him with a home cooked meal.  This will give you extra time with him, make him feel special, and also thwart plans if he's trying to cheat.  Also, see if there are people that are with him often, that you feel you could get an honest answer from.  But honestly, I think asking him first, in a very soft and subtle tone, is your best bet.  But remember, never ask a question you can't handle any answer too.  I don't mean don't get angry or mad, but make sure you're at a place with yourself that you can hear what he has to say to you, no matter what his answer is.  I wish you all the best, insecurities, whether real or not, always hurt.
657563
Maybe you should continue to stay separated but start "dating" again and work on your issues. Having children in the relationship I feel it could be detrimental to them to have him continually coming and going into the home. I would continue being involved in your church, praying for him and your marriage and continue marriage counselling. If after a few months and giving it 100% there are still no changes in him/willingness from him to work on his issues then I would sit down and seriously contemplate if this situation is right for you and your children. But hopefully with prayer and God in your life you will see some changes. I definitely think baby steps is the way to approach this situation. God be with you.
40333
you should get a divorce.then again does that other person feel the same way about you .you need to be true to yourself and your husband.it is not eair to him
3996
Lets see, since you have this listed under the marriage and divorce section, I think the best way to get what you want is by asking for it.\n Discuss with your partner what it is you want and or need. Communication is the key here, without it you can not get anything. Or give anything for that matter.\n Depending on what it is that you want, discussion should open up the avenues to getting what you want to some degree anyhow.
279374
Well ive never been threw it but ill be more then happy to give you my 2 cents with out calling you a slut, i think part of it is your husbands fault for not making sure you have what you need, now i know alot of people are going to scream for me saying that but its the truth, in a marriage part of our job is doing everything possible to make sure our partner is getting everything we need from them emotionally or sexually. Thats just the way it works for a healthy marriage, The only bit of advice i could give you not being actually in that situation is to eather pick on or the other, i can see you feeling even more torn when your feelings for this other guy are fostered even more and you cant act on it, not to mention the emotional and sexual frustrations that can easily bring. I can understand why you turned to this other man for support you wernt getting at home. But i can only see you hurting yourself in the long run if you dont cut ties with one of them. That is unless you totally dont love your husband anymore and your just in it for everything youve envested on a tangable level that you dont want to lose. But honestly do you think if you bumped this relationship up with this other guy you would be able to continue this double life, i hate to label it that way but thats the only thing i can think of to call it right off the top of my head, but i think you understand where im coming from. You need to set a game plan in your head on where you want to go in life if things with this other guy keep developing, what happens if this guy says ok ill chuck my marriage will you chuck yours? what if he talks about you guys meeting and making a full flaired affair? What if your husband finds out about whats going on how will you respond? How will your husband? Im not saying i know what you should do or what you need to do, but if i were you i would get a clear picture of what i wanted from your husband or from this other guy. Do you think there would be a possiblity you would be more happy in your marriage if your husband started to work with you on your problems with the marriage? Do you think there is any hope for you marriage now? Do you think your husband is doing the same thing you are on some sort of level? IF he was how do you feel about it? I think you need to ask yourself these kinds of questions and in deep deep detail figure out what you want to do, i dont think anyone in here can really answer those kinds of questions and give you any much more of a clear picture then you seriously thinking about this i wish you all of luck and i really hope you get something figured out on this *HUGS*
1047234
You need a professional marriage counselor!!  You are dealing with mental abuse.  Jokes won't do it.  Neither will anything you can find out here.
1083085
Here is a situation where an objective third party can be helpful: your attorney.\n\nSay something like this: "Honey, I think we should talk to a lawyer before we marry, just to make sure that all the Ts are crossed and all the I's are dotted. You know, marriage is a legal contract. How does 2 p.m. Thursday work for you?"\n\nThen, at the appointed time, go to see the attorney. Have him or her explain what you are doing there and why. Don't say much, only agree with the attorney. If your partner explodes, then you know he or she is only after your money.
791754
have you considered marriage counseling? even if he wont go with you...you still need to go.....you have only been married a few months and sometimes(trust me i know) the first year is the ABSOLUTE hardest...if you want to make your marriage work it will take time and patience....but if deep inside you ..you feel there is no way it is gonna work and you are 100% sure about it then do not be guilted into staying in a marriage you are unhappy in...do whats best for you and fix this BEFORE kids get involved...good luck sweet pea
134613
Tell him you are sorry and that you will never do that kind of a thing again. Never involve yourself with married people. Think about it this way. What if someone else interfered in you blissful marriage and spoilt it. Ask for her forgiveness and stay clear from such entanglements.
337196
ask for joint custody. thats the only thing i can say or else go to counsleing to work on the marriage. do not i repeat do not stay together for the kids. it will only hurt the kids in the long run.
1162266
In my opinion the two people involved are obviously unhappy with their lives so they need to decide what exactly it is that they want and move on. If you're unhappy in the marriage let it go and be together but if there's still a chance that they can salvage the marriages than they need to walk away from the affair. In any case a decision must be made. It's not fair to anyone involved if things stay the way that they are.
1048207
Hello,\nSeek counseling and help here and try to save it if at all... Talk to him and see if he is open to getting the help he needs with you. Seek marriage counseling too. If he continually cheats though and does not or refuses to change then you do have legal and biblical grounds for getting out and at least separating and even divorce if there is absolutley not resolving the marriage. If you need to talk i am here anytime for you.
176417
Go to their homes and/or invite them when he's not there.  You really need to discuss the issue with him if it's that important (yeah i know, easier said than done).  Maybe marriage counseling, if this marriage is worth it.  If not...
951590
Weeeeeeelllll, if YOU think/feel it to be a problem, then go seek counseling.\n\nmb
268811
Just tell her. If you're married she'll understand and listen to what you have to say.
706236
Trust is one of the hardest issues to address in any relationship.  She broke your trust and its going to take a lot of work for that to ever be right again.  I would honestly get into some marriage counseling for this reason alone.
1018180
honestly i know how u feel, but trying to "control" the situation, that iswhat u r doing, will only make mattersworse, shewill go into further rebellion, and things in the marriage will go down hill.   part of Love is free and what holds it together is trust (and God) but if you don't have either of these it will never last.  you need to let her do her thing( not saying im choosing sides)  but if you let love go and its true love it will come back.  if you smother and squeeze it, it will flee from you.  as hard as it is, you need to give her what she needs (space and freedom) she is in the wrong ( married people do not belong at BARS).  LET GO OF THE REIGNS bite your tongue, and tell her go ahead (just pray when shes out that she will come to realize its not the place to be. good luck