what joke is this punch line from "and the proctologist says rectum i almost killed him"?
142680
One day Johnny walked into the classroom, and the teacher said, 'Johnny, do you have your report done?' He replied, 'no ma'am.' She said, 'if you don't have it done by tomorrow then I'm going to make a call to your parents.'\n\nAs Johnny is walking home from school he looks to his left and sees two greyhounds racing,and one gets so far ahead of the other one that it just stops and the other one rams its head right up its @??.\n\nJohnny takes out a piece of paper and writes it all down, saying to himself, 'This is going to be my report.'\n\nThe next day at school the teacher says, 'Johnny, do you have your report done?' He says, 'sure do.' So he goes up to the front of the class and starts telling them what he saw. 'Yesterday I was walking home from school when I saw these two greyhounds racing, and one rammed its head right up the other's @??.' The teacher says, 'Johnny, we don't use the word '@??' in the classroom, it's rectum.' Johnny said, 'Rectum? Hell, it damn near killed 'em.' (1st ref.)\n\nThe actual joke you're asking about doesn't exist: "The punchline to an infamous joke; the actual joke, however, is unknown and, therefore, only the punchline is used. It's enough." See second reference.
989381
A middle-aged woman seemed sheepish as she visited her gynecologist.\n\n"Come now," coaxed the doctor, "you've been seeing me for years . . .\nthere's nothing you can't tell me."\n\n"This one's kind of strange . . ."\n\n"Let me be the judge of that," the doctor replied.\n\n"Well," she said, "yesterday I went to the bathroom in the morning and\nheard a plink-plink-plink in the toilet and when I looked down, the water\nwas full of pennies."\n\n"I see."\n\n"That afternoon I went to the bathroom again and, plink-plink-plink, there\nwere nickels in the bowl."\n\n"Really?"\n\n"That night," she went on, "I went again, plink-plink-plink, and there\nwere dimes and this morning there were quarters! You've got to tell me\nwhat's wrong with me!" she implored, "I'm scared out of my wits! "\n\nThe gynecologist put a comforting hand on her shoulder. "There, there,\nit's nothing to be scared about."\n\nYour just going threw the change, \n\nHope that could cheer you up some!!!
360659
when i seen this question crapped my self with laughter
125543
I laughed my ass off when I heard this joke, but it is kind of racist. Just know that I didn't come up with it.\n\nAn african tribesman's wife has a baby one night, and all is well until he comes home and sees the baby is white. The only white guy within a hundred miles is the village doctor. So the next morning, he takes his wife and the baby to confront the doctor. He walks right up to him and says, "Hey, I have ten other kids with this woman and they're all black, except for this one. So why don't you tell me what happened." Well, the doctor knows he's been caught, but he tries to play it off like nothing happened, so he points to a herd of goats and says, "Look there, all those goats over there are white, except for that little black one. It's weird, but these things happen." The tribesman thinks about it for a minute, then takes the doctor aside and says, "All right, I see where you're going with this. I'll drop the whole white baby thing, and you don't tell anyone about the black goat."
1056875
some one playing a very mean joke
1130733
Thankyou!I just read the joke.The Three Men from one of your other questions.I literally almost fell out of my chair it was hilarious.
452212
What has the world come to? People don't seem to make good clean jokes any more (keyword: good)! Sheesh...\n\nHere's one:\n\nA pregnant woman gets into a car accident and falls into a deep coma. Asleep for nearly 6 months, she wakes up and sees that she is no longer pregnant. Frantically, she asks the doctor about her baby. \n\nThe doctor replies, "Ma'am, you had twins! A boy and a girl. The babies are fine. Your brother came in and named them." \n\nThe woman thinks to herself, "Oh no, not my brother -- he's an idiot!" \n\nExpecting the worst, she asks the doctor, "Well, what's the girl's name?" \n\n"Denise," the doctor says. \n\nThe new mother thinks, "Wow, that's not a bad name! Guess I was wrong about my brother. I like Denise!" \n\nThen she asks the doctor, "What's the boy's name?" \n\nThe doctor replies, "DeNephew" \n\n:o)
932255
good surprise punch line
1079141
Euthenasia........... yeah, Saturday Night Live ran this joke twenty years ago.\n\nNo problem.  It's still funny.
1165421
Big Baboon?\n\nThat's clever, but I think it needs some more, or different setup to make the punchline more effective.\n\nMaybe the man is blind, and was stranded in a jungle for years.
1098561
"I love the fact that this is quite obviously a clever joke and not everyone has got it. HE'S IN TWO MINDS AS TO SEEK HELP. COME ON PEOPLE! Pay attention!"\n\nI love the above quote.\n\nAll of the answers up to his were ironic and he didn't get it. Reminds me of someone I used to know, my secret friend, mini me!
1120934
ahahahahahahha!! * iam !! that guy deserves a beating ...now u deserve a LAUGH!! on this JOKE!!! wtg! its hilarious 10 stars...geewahuahua!!! ;) thx
961960
..."A small penis that doesn't work"...\n\nHa,ha,ha you are funny.where did you get  this silly story?
1111244
This one is on the front page at eBaumsWorld.com: \nMike goes into an elevator, looks up and sees this great big huge guy standing next to him. The big guy sees the little guy staring at him, looks down and says, "7 feet tall, 350 lbs, 20 inch penis, testicles 3 lbs each, Turner Brown." Mike just faints dead away and falls to the floor. The big dude kneels down and brings him to, by slapping his face and shaking him. He asks, "Are you OK??" In a very weak voice Mike says, "Excuse me, but what did you just say to me?" The big dude says, "When I saw the curious look on your face, I just figured I'd give you the answers to the questions everyone always asks me. "I'm 7 feet tall, weigh 350 lbs, have a 20 inch penis, my testicles weigh 3 lbs each, and my name is Turner Brown." Mike said, "Oh Thank God!!! I thought you said 'Turn Around!'"
555676
yeah OK I have a great 2 jokes for you here but be prepared that they are somewhat well just wrong hehehe ok here we go! enjoy!\n\n#1- A mild-mannered man was tired of being bossed around by his wife,so he went to a psychiatrist,who told him he needed to build self-esteem and gave him a book on assertiveness.\n   After reading the book on the way him,he stormed into the house and declared, "I want you to know I am the man of the house,and my word is law."I want you to prepare me a gourmet meal tonight.THen after dinner,you are going to draw my bath so I can relax ,and when I'm finished with my bath,guess who is going to dress me and comb my hair?"\n           His wife responded, "THE FUNERAL DIRECTOR."\n\n#2-A husband is at home watching a football game when his wife interrupts, "Honey,could you fix the light in the hallway? It's been flickering for weeks now"He looks at her and says angrily, "Fix the light" NOw does it look like I have a G.E.O Logo printed on my forehead? I don't think so."\n   Well then,could you fix the fridge door? It won't close right". To which he replied, "Fix the fridge door? Does it look like I have WestingHouse written on my forehead? I don't think so"."Fine," She says "Then you could at least fix the steps to the front door? They're about to break".\n"I'm not a damn Carpenter and I don't want to fix the steps." "Does it look like I have Ace Hardware written on my forehead? I don't think so.I've had enough of you. I'm going to the bar!!"\n   So he goes to the bar and drinks for a couple of hours.\nHe starts to feel guilty about how he treated his wife,and decides to go home and help out.As he walks into the house he notices the steps are already fixed.As he enters the house,He sees the hall light is working,the fridge door is fixed.\n"Honey, How'd all this get fixed? She said, "Well, when you left I sat outside and cried.Just then a nice young man asked me what was wrong, and I told him.He offered to do all the repaires,and all I had to do was either go to bed with him or bake a cake."\nHe said, "So what kind of cake did you bake him?" She replied, "HELLOOOOO..... Do you see Betty Crocker written on my forehead?"\n\n#3- A very sexually active woman tells her plastic surgeon that she wants her vagina lips reduced in size because they were flapping in the breeze.Out of emabarrassment she insisted that the surgery be kept a secret and the surgeon agreed.\n  A wakening from the anesthesia after the surgery,she found three roses carefully placed beside her bed.Outraged,she immediately calls in the doctor. "I thought I asked you not to tell anyone about my operation!"\n   The surgeon told her he had carried out her wish for confidentiality and that the first rose was from him: "I felt sad because you went through this by yourself."\n   "The second rose is from my nurse.She assisted me in the surgery and empathized because she had had the same procedure done some time ago."\n   "And what about the third rose?" she asked.\n"Oh,that rose is from the man upstairs in the burn unit.He wanted to thank you for his new ears.
638481
lmao: laughing my a$$ off
301457
When I had rectal bleeding, I would swear I was seeing Dr. Widefinger.  When he put a speculum there, he remarked, "You handled that pretty well."  I said, "WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO SAY?"