is it normal to feel like an outsider when u divorce?
156309
Yes, emotions really run rampant after a divorce. I even contemplated killing myself after mine. It just takes time to get back into a comfortable groove. Just give yourself time. Spoil yourself!
1138795
i think is absolutely normal that you feel that way and you have every reason to. it also looks to me that you may need someone to talk to. so i'll give my msn so you can add me and talk when ever you need to\nlosanteojosdegaba2006@hotmail.com\nluck! ;)
1094857
It's natural to feel lonely after getting out of a long term relationship.  Use your family and friends as a support system - make sure you tell them how you're feeling.  Keep yourself busy, go out with friends, get involved with new hobbies.  It's just important you aren't sitting at home sulking and being lonely - get out and do things.
1170601
It is totally normal to be feeling like this. They say when you break up with someone that you love it congers up the same emotions as it does when someone dies. You are in mourning for your lost relationship but don't confuse this with love. It takes time for your mind and your heart to come to terms with these situations but it will pass. Talk to you friends about everything you are feeling, even the stupid things, you may feel silly at the time but once you have got all you feelings out you will feel a load has been lifted of your mind. Every time the thought of your ex comes into your mind, change it and put your boyfriend in his place. Don't keep thinking back on things you and your ex used to do, go out and try new things with your boyfriend, these new memories will move the other memories out of your mind and you will feel yourself letting go of the past and moving on to happier times. Trust me, this has happened to me before, i nearly let my new relationship break down because of it but i got past it and am happier than i have ever been. Don't be afraid to let go, you will always have the time with your ex to look back on in the future but don't let it destroy you chance of happiness.
1032725
How long has it been since you divorced?  You just might need more time.  You'll know  when you're ready for a serious relationship again.  Take time to find yourself again and reassess what you want out of life and in a mate.  If you don't feel you're doing ok on your own, seek some counseling.  It really does help to talk things out and put them on the table.
535012
Well, of course your going to feel this way. Having someone take advantage of your good nature would naturally scorn anyone's soul and heart. How long has it been since the divorce? Your just going to have to have time to heal. I would suggest though going out to put your mind at ease, but don't rush into another relationship quite fast.  Trust is something your going to just have to build with women again. Look back at your ex-wife were there signs that she was out for just money? If so use those signs to your advantage and beware of such signs in future relationships. DON'T EVER TELL SOMEONE YOUR DATING THAT SHE WAS A GOLD DIGGER. This may lead them to believe you could easily manipulated and taken advantaged of regardless of how long the marriage was. Simply say it was mutual and you rather not discuss it. Besides it's no body's business regardless of whom your dating or not. If there were no signs then be even more aware don't be to harsh w/ us women NOT all of us are out for money. I will pray for you strength to get back on your feet. You pray for a good Christian woman to come into your life and to be able to learn to trust again. Good Luck & God Bless. When you decide to become involved with someone again don't continue to be on the defensive either. You choose to date the woman so give her a chance, but just be aware of signs. Trust her, until you have proven it to be other wise or it's broke.  Don't allow your insecurity from a previous relationship or your ex-wife to ruin your chance for happiness.
1155589
most of my friends come to me for help, talkin things out and such, and when they leave they all so fine and happy. u see the funny thing is that I really feel the exact opposite whenever the conversation ends, sollowin it up and leave knowin that no one on this planet would ever know the way i feel, b&#92;c even if i did talk, im sure id make it sound very different frm the way i really feel. how irionic! :)
1132151
Yea it kind of went like that in my house too and I was the baby, I just ignored it and went about my business at least I didn't have the pressure of impressing or being someone or something I didn't want to be.  Honestly I think it's made me a better person than him why because I know the meaning of independence and how it works unlike him who needs mommy for everything.
611922
how do you feel by the end of the day? are you sad because your on your own?
464203
Hey, you know, I am kind of in the same boat as you are, except for I have pretty much gone through having to hear my ex-husband cry to me every single time that I spoke with him to let me know how much is missed me.  I have two young boys with him, and believe me, it has been really hard, but thanks to my dear boyfriend who I now love a lot I have made it through.  I have been thinking about living with my boyfriend too, as my divorce will be in June, but it seems like I can't wait that long.  I don't know, but I just know that women seem to want things done much quicker and we don't like to wait to get what we want.  I would say to do what your heart tells you to do.
792372
A lot of us are so happy to feel validated by the acceptance of another that we go through with a marriage, even though we haven't discovered who we really are or what makes us truly happy.  Now that there is water under the bridge and life becomes more complicated, you realize that maybe you've missed out on what your life could have been otherwise.  All this is normal, which can also make us unhappy.  You are still a person with the freedom to choose.  If it isn't working and need to experience your independence, then that is what you need to do.  If you're unsure, then some view an affair or a 3-way to be a good compromise, but to just sit and stew probably isn't going to bring you anything new or wonderful.
705401
yeah that happens to me all the time \ni talk to my "friends" but they dont seem to be a "friend"\nor even family\ni feel like i cant trust my friends or family\nwith your friends or family you feel like your not connected to them even though your talking and they are right there\nthey dont treat or look at you as a family\nthey look at you like an outsider and that sometimes makes you feel not wanted so you end up getting used to it that you really dont care. you become very numb to it. \nppl like that wont care about you or care about your issues.\ni have dealt with that personally almost all the time\n\nhey wanna be my friend ?
1135367
I do that,i don't know why but i do! I think you just need to be happy with yourself and being alone.To make sure your not dependant on someone else for happiness,then you'll want to move in because you'll be brining happiness into the relationship!
619910
Hey, \n\nI don't know if 'I can really be of much help cause I myself am not married, But I really am sorry for what you are having to go through. I just want to say that if you are not happy anymore and if you don't think things are going to work don't put yourself through that, cause it will make you start to feel more hatred towards him and make you miserable. It is normal for women to feel insercure when having to start over after that many years, but I don't think you will have any problems finding someone to love and who will love you back. If you don't try how do you know? I am a cosmetologist and I have many clients who are going throught the same thing and none of them regret there choice of leaving. Go pamper yourself get a makeover and make your self feel better then get out there and have fun. That's what they are doing. You may feel like you won't make it but trust me on this one you will be just fine. I hope this helps you! And sorry I couldn't be more help, but as much as you hate to hear it you are the only one who can make you happy!
883294
Yes...I was married for 18 years and the last few years felt like this all the time OR didn't want to be at home when he was there.  As hard as it was I realized it was because we had outgrown each other and weren't making each other happy.  We have since separated and are living our own lives.  We are MUCH better off as friends then we were as a married couple.
514580
Not sure if im late here but here it goes.\n\nIt's ok to be confused because youre in the learning stages there are many things to experience like what the guy above me said.\n\nI've had 3 long term relationships at your age, and now 10 years later, when I see my ex's we laugh about all those crazy fights we had.\n\nJust take a deep breath and look out into the horizon, 10 years from now you'll just realize how funny this all was.\n\nOh course you love him, I loved all my ex's too and I;ve talked about marriage to all of them funny thing is, time makes breaking up less cloudy.\n\nAnd yes you are hanging onto him because of the memories and all the experiences you shared. But remember people don't grow when things are stagnant.\n\nYou're here for a reason, and its either to get validation for breaking up with him. Or understanding why you feel the way you do, so why do you feel the way you do??? \n\nI guess I missed your last post, but Im gonna assume its because youre not happy. Listen to the guy above me and go out there and live life!!!
116543
I felt the same after I left a relationship that wasn't making me happy.  Sometimes you miss being single if you're with someone who isn't right for you.  Glad to hear you didn't stay in the relationship just to be with somebody.  Too many people would rather be unfulfilled in a relationship rather than be happy being single.  And when you're happy being single, you'll attract other happy people.  Then who knows what could happen?  Good going.  You'll do well in life, my friend.