How do I stop being mad at my husband for deploying when it's his job. I feel like a single parent to my son.
154202
Support groups can be really great.  You should also make sure that you and your son are getting out and doing things: go to the park, the zoo, visit friends and relatives, etc.  It is too easy sometimes to spend too much time at home alone and kind of living your life on "hold" while your spouse is gone.  \n\nBesides, if you and your son stay active it will make the time go by faster, and you'll have more to tell hubby when you talk to him! :)
21314
I'm a military spouse and have to deal with that myself.  Of course, number one, don't fill your hours talking to or spending time alone with someone of the opposite sex.  That will make it too easy to at least have an "emotional" affair, if not slip into a physical one.  But try writing letters and e-mails to your spouse, bettering yourself while he/she is gone (working out, learning to cook, joining a club or group, volunteering, taking a second job, reading, painting, restoring furniture, taking an evening or online class, etc.).  I try to make sure my focus while my husband is away is on what I will do better when he's back - don't lose the focus on the spouse, or that will make it harder! - and on staying busy so I don't have time to just sit and miss him.  Hope this helps.
546201
Hey girl My husband just got back from a year long deployment but he was gone for a total of a year and a half. I was pregnant with our first child and it was hard! Here are some tips that helped keep us together:\n\nWrite a journal between the two of you. You write in it for a couple days and tell him EVERYTHING that happens then send it to him and ask him to do the same.\n\nDon't freak out if he doesn't call you. Remember no news is good news. If something happens to him they will know and will contact his family who will contact you.\n\nTell him everything when he calls, big stuff first and then the little stuff. All they want to hear about is something outside of the war. If he starts talking about it, listen. He probably needs to get it off his chest. \n\nCommunication is key! Write him letters every once in awhile. Let him know you always think of him. Send him cards when you see a cute one in the store, there doesnt need to be a reason. Send care packages just to let him know you care. Send something for each and every holiday no matter how small.\n\nYou will be ok. Get involved with his FRG she will have all the updates you will need and there will be other wives and families and gf/bf's that are going through the same thing you are.\n\nMy husbands unit only lost 15 people out of thousands. They are taking many measure to provide ultimate safty. Don't worry too much just be there for him and keep him in your prayers. If you need to talk and you don't have anyone there to talk to contact me. I am a soldier my self so I may be able to answer some ?'s.
1085143
My husband modiness and be upsetting at times but i get like that at times too. I cant really say anything makes me really mad at him as we work through all of our differences and we love and accept each other even with our imperfections!
657721
I went through the same thing with my husband.. you might try anger managment counseling or taking a trial seperation. Just remember that when you feel yourself getting to the point of explosion that you have 2 feet WALK AWAY.
915930
girl you need a rest. Try to foccus on something else for awhile. Is it amed. reason you have this problem?  Try to build a relationship with your hubby that is strong enough to be without children. Take trips, do exciting things now while you can, and enjoy just the two of you for now. time for children will come later when you both have setled down and know each other better. Your stress of having children maybe hurting you. Build a life on just the two of you first. You must be happy with him and you first before you have children. children cannot be the reason for the two of you to be happy. It will never work. I talk from experence. My children have learned that babies don't make a marrage work, only the two of you can do that. Do step one first and just be happy together as one. Then bring children in at the right time.
528509
I'm in the army and so is my husband.  you never get use to it it always sucks.  Just try not to dwell on it.  Try to stay occupied with something while he is gone and live for the moment when he is there.  I read a lot of books or make quilts while my husband is away or browse on here.  In fact, my husband is gone for a month right now.
1028211
First off, yes Oh my gosh I get so pissed at my husband for the smallest things.  I think it is because we become so comfortable with them, and they are constantly in the same living space as we are, that you can't bottle every little irritation up you have to let it out otherwise you might explode one day and not be married anymore.
184135
It is very hard to sad to deal with. Do you have family near by? That helped me. Do you work? Praying really helped alot! Do you have IM? does he have it too? I know on the AKO you get install the IM and that saves some heatache. \nI remeber when my hubby was there. I was 4 months preggers when he left. That was very diffcult. But you have got to keep your self busy.  I know it sounds mean but you really have to. Hang in there and I will keep you in my prayers as I do for every miltary spouse and their spouses!
272237
I hope this is not the same "friend" of 8 months that is yelling at your son!!! Stop that shyt!! Don't allow any man or woman to abuse you son. You are his first everything\n---his 1st teacher\n---his 1st ADVOCATE\n---his 1st experience with life\nStop putting these men in front of your happiness and your son's well-being. If that muthaf*$@#ka was yelli\nng at my 19 month old I'd catch a case. You better stand up for your son. I understand you want adult male companionship and you deserve "me" time. Taking care of a child is not easy, but he must be number one in your life. And stop having him around the dude you are f@#$kin'.  You wouldn't want your son to grow up to abuse women or worse get abused by women b/c he saw you being abused and your self-esteem get whittled away to nothing. I can only offer this advice b/c I've been there. My son is 13 and has only seen me with 3 men. Granted there have been more in my life, but I refuse to bring all of them around my man-child. Children WATCH more than they LISTEN> Even though your son is only 19 months he can still feel you, just like he did when he was in your stomach. The bond between you and your son is stronger than any bond you can make with a man. That baby is the closet thing to heaven you can get on earth. Cherish him and these years. He's exploring and should not be made to feel that his learning process is less important than some man.
1121078
My hubby was deployed for a year and I know how hard it is.  What got me through it was getting a full time job that allowed me to take his phone calls during work hours, and sending alot of email and packages.  Just keep in mind that he will come home safely and make sure you have a good support group at home for you.  If you stay strong and supportive it will help him more than you will ever know.  Even though you aren't married you can also call the FRG (Family Readiness Group) that will be set up.  Also if at all possible try and go to see him off.  It'll be good for you to meet some of the women in the FRG and you might get to know a few you really connect with.  If you want to talk or have any questions feel free to email me and I will try to help.\nAlso, from being a military spouse for 4 years, don't worry about the deployment thing until he actually has the orders.  In the military, alot of rumors are spread around (my husband was originally suppose to go a year before he was actually deployed) so don't worry until he has the orders.  Hope this helps.
1111223
My mother in law feels sorry for my husband. He thinks that I don't do anything at all..and that I should have a job so he doesn't have to work so hard. \nThe truth is..she was Missing In Action for most of my husband's life..having to work all of the time at menial jobs. He has very few memories of her being there at all.\nSoo...I have learned to avoid her, and shrug off her unsubstantiated criticisms.
153869
I am a parent but I only have six years experience.  Still, you need to kick his little a** out.  I know he is your kid, but dang.  He is taking you for granted, you need to teach him how to take care of himself.  What is he going to do when you aren't there?
197489
Ooooo. Sounds like a familiar situation...\n\nFirst- This shouldn't be about right or wrong. That just makes people defensive and nothing comes out of it. \n\n\nYou do a lot and he needs to recognize that. \nHe needs to pitch in more and at least not depend on you to cook all the time. \n\nMy wife and I just had our first baby. We are both exhausted because we take shifts to feed the baby. Sometimes I have more energy and I cook or do some cleaning or vice versa. But marriage and kids is all about team work. You guys are in this together. \n\n\nPerhaps you need to approach this in a way that doesn't make him defensive. (if that is possible.) You want to make him see your point of view without him feeling like he needs to justify his actions. \n\nOwn your feelings. Tell him that you are too tired to cook, or say you need his help with something specific because you are worn out. Mention the part about being a team. \n\nBut make sure you let him know you do appreciate him to. Guys need that and we like to be able to help and feel needed. Using those words might get more action out of your hubby.\n\nEffective communication will help you through.
418622
Gosh.. after reading the other answers you got to this question I bet you are having a heartattack!!\n\nCheating while deployed to a imminent danger areais not a common thing by any means.  The other stuff you're talking about is.\n\nWhen you get that many guys together without the ability to.... shall we say releive themselves sexually..... grapic conversation is pretty normal.  They sit around and talk about their gals and what they are going to do to them.  Even if your guy isn't the one doing the talking listening to it can be arousing for him.  \n\nThere's also the issue that he's under a lot of stress and men have a tendancy to to vent stress through sexual agression.\n\nThe distance in his voice is most likely do to his enviroment.  Your husband is dealing with some pretty tough stuff.  He doesn't want to tell you all about it because he doesn't want you to worry or be afraid for him any more than you already are.  There's also the fact that seperations are hard on our Guys too.  He may be trying to deal with his own feelings by walling them off.\n\nRemember that you have a tough job in all of this too. Be supportive and be brave.  Think the absolute best until you have a concrete reason to think otherwise.  This is so hard on military families..... you don't need any imagined problems to cope with.\n\nIf you need more advice on deployemts try contacting your services branch of support, FRG, Family Center, whatever.  The can actually give you some great tips on dealing with all of this.  From miliary wife to military wife........ just take a deep breath.  He has a lot more on his mind than you realize.\n\nGood Luck and God Bless.
1009863
Just let him talk to his dad on the phone about anything. There's not much you can do. Tell him daddy's at work for a little while. You're not lieing, he does have to work to get some money to come back. Oh, and did you ever think that your husband is lieing to you? Ya'll are having problems and he did leave before, have you thought that maybe he isn't comming back? You have to face reality, he might have found someone else. I know that's not something you're ready to think about, with a son and a child on the way, but some men are azzholes. It might be hard, but you have to do what is best for your children. A: You can sit at home all day and you and your child do nothing to move on with you life waiting on your man. or B: You can get up and do something. I know you're pregnat so maybe right now you're not able to get a job, but you can still take you son to the park, or swiming, or any activity. Something to keep his mind off his daddy gone for so long. And if your husband does come back, then everythings great, if he doesn't come back, then you've already started on taking his mind off of his dad, and you have built a good relationship with your child. And remember, what ever you're feeling with your emotions you're unborn baby can feel them too.
1055645
Wow that is extreme. My husband was kind of like that too, but closer to the 3-4 week postpartum mark. For the longest time I felt sad and used and hurt, and let him get his way , but in the long run I found that only makes things worse and he does'nt even realize what he is doing is wrong. You need to stand up for yourself and say no and mean it. Alot of the time these guys are so focused on their penises and egos that they forget that we are people too, and letting him get away with it is only reinforcing the bad behavior. My husband actually thinks I am just playing hard to get when I say no and give reasons why. \nhave you ever noticed that the bitchiest chicks have the sweetest most passive caring guys ? I have ! It works to be a bitch sometimes, and tell him off, because you need to demand his respect not ask for it. So what if he gets mad or pissy, just ignore him until he wisens up. If he wants some action he will come around eventually and treat you the right way to get it !