How do I deal with my fear of losing her?
143102
If your fear of losing "her" exists, you need to ask yourself whether or not this fear has been generated by your thoughts and insecurities, or whether these thoughts have been generated in response to her behavior.  If she has given you reason to believe that you must be fearful of her one day leaving you, or worse, than you need to talk about this problem. There is no healthy relationship between two people where one person threatens the other by leaving.  \nIf you think that this fear is an innate thought, than you need to deal with this problem in a self help way.  Realize that "she" would have left you already if she felt that that was what she wanted.  Clearly she has not, therefore she wants to be with you. As long as you dont let this fear overtake your relationship, you should inevitably get over it. By overtaking I mean becoming over paranoid of cheating, whereabouts, lying, etc.  Ask yourself why you feel this way? Is there a reason? Do you not fully understand her feelings for you? Ask her, talk to her. If you trust her, she will trust you, and there will be no fear of anything ad happening.  And if something does happen, you will know at least tht it is not your fault, and that you will be satisfied in your fufilling your goals of being a good partner.
351981
This may not be possible.  How hurt was she?\nIf you are serious, look for her.  Try to talk to her in person.  Make sure she understands that you are not a player and that you really do feel sorry for any grief you may have caused.\nLet her know that you want quality time, not just a casual encounter.  Spill you guts.  Confess to your stupidity and lack of sensitivity.  Beg if necessary.\nOf if you don't feel that strongly about her, forget it.  It was never meant to be.
126663
Letting go is hard. You need to let yourself heal before you date again because you're on the rebound. The girl that worries sounds like a sweetheart but you need to be honest with her and tell her that you're just not as ready as you thought you were for another relationship. As for getting over this girl, acceptance is the key and the first step toward recovery. I've been there, I know. You have to allow yourself to go through the grief stages, and yes, it's like grieving over a death because it is a death in a way. You'll got through many emotions but it is a necessary path that you must take. This girl does not deserve you and if you have to get mad and hate her, do that if it works for you as long as it doesn't harm anyone. Avoid all contact with her because for now, it's keeping you tied to her. Heal first then perhaps you can be friends. If you feel you need counseling, than get it. There is no shame in it. Another thing you can do is to work out at the gym. It helped me a lot and when you see your body starting to change for the better, you begin to feel better about yourself and more confident. You will get over her, sweetheart but it will take time and effort on your part. God speed and good luck. =)
216837
Give her sometime to deal with her emotions. You don't want to catch her while she's hurt and then end up being dumped yourself. Be there for her the best you can, be strong fo the both of you, and when she is ready, persue her. You can even confess to her now, but if you do make sure she understands you don't want to be with her unless you really are the one she likes. ...Sadly she is the only one who will know when she is ready. Good luck.
945351
keep your head up.that's what happens when u lose your first love.but don't worry,it will be hard to get over her but you Are capable of finding someone Better.Trust me.the world hasn't ended Brother.Keep you head up.and don't call or contact her EVER!.KEEP YOUR HEAD UP!!!
120552
The best advice I could give you is to keep your mind busy on anything else but her. Keep yourself active, busy. I know its hard, believe me, I do. It will pass with time.
251416
Now! Now! Now! ... what are you waiting for?  Once you conquer your fear of rejection, or maybe, another fear we face; fear of success.  You are worthy and have redeemable qualities, right?  Don't forget to bring your suit of confidence as a back up for the jitters.\n\nThe worst that can happen is ______________________?  If she is civilized and sensitive she will respect your sincerity and give you a strait answer.  Anything less .... loose that "good" friendship as it was clearly disingenuous.  Try to see her side of it.  If she is still in love w/ the dumper she may not want to drag you through the drama out of respect.  Certainly don't let her use you to show off to the flake.  I hope she is very special and worth the concern and hurt you may be experiencing.  \n\nHope she says yes...but what will you do then when the conquest is over?  Think of that?
85207
Sit quietly for a while.  Think about her.  Feel how it is to be with her.  Imagine her standing directly behind you.\nTell her what is in your heart.\nThen quickly write done what you said.  You might forget in the excitement.
13645
To her face, calmly, lovingly, clearly. You must let her know she's a good and wonderful person but you cannot, and I do mean, CANNOT let her think there's a chance of winning you back, or she may put up a valiant try that will leave both of you feeling more hurt / guilty. Don't be afraid to have a little bit of space between you two for a few weeks after, but if you'd genuinely like to stay friends after that, go out to coffee and chat. Be prepared for the sting when she finds someone else a bit down the road; even if you dump her, it can hurt when she falls in love again and it's not you.
453677
Dude if it hurts you to talk to her than I would avoid her. I went through a similar situation years ago. When you're with someone for a while and you develop strong feelings, it's hard to just get rid of those feelings. So if talking to her brings back any of those feelings you should avoid her.\n\nThere are plenty of other women out there man. Get out, do things you enjoy doing and soon those feelings will disappear. Hang in there bro. That which doesn't kill you makes you stronger!
710981
she has been hurt before and is afraid you will hurt her again --- dont push it --- she knows how you feel and you know how she feels --- care for her love her and be there for her
134914
WHN U KNOW THE FACT THT U REALLY CANT B WITH HER THN TRY ACCEPTING THIS FACT\nI KNOW IT REALLY HURTS BT THERE IS NO OTHER WAY OUT THERE\nIT WILL SURELY TAKE TIME BT AS TIME WILL PASS U WILL FORGET HER\n\n\nONE MORE THING LIFE NEVER STARTS AND ENDS WITH ONE PERSON IT WILL GO ON AND ON AND ON \nDNT U THINK THT IT IS POSSIBLE THT MAY B UMEET A PERSON WITH WHOM U WILL REALLY FALL IN LUV\n\n\nDNT LOSE HOPE AND B JOLLY TRY TO B WITH UR FRNDS AND START FORGETTIGN ABT THT THING WHCH CAN NEVER B URS
564651
I remember how I felt when I left my sweetheart.  I was only able to see her once a weekend.  She lived like 20 miles from where I lived and I had to take the bus every Saturday to see her.  Man, what great times.  But at day's end, my heart hurt something fierce.  Don't feel embarrassed.  You may be afraid to lose this great feeling you have.  You don't ever want it to go away.  This is your insecurities talking.  You need to know that you are everything he wants.  Gain confidence in you and your relationship.  You possess the power.
742561
What do you mean, you're scared of losing her?  Wake up and smell the coffee.  You never "had" her, therefore you cannot now "lose" her.  She has been playing headgames with you, now she is tired of teasing you and has moved on to making someone else's life miserable.  Consider yourself lucky.
251351
I deal with this daily.\n\nYou move on until you find someone who makes you feel the way "the one that got away" did. There could be any number of reasons that the first one got away, but the fact is that she did, and has likely moved on with her life - you should, too.
344525
This sound so familiar, just stop your self from being alone and don't look or touch anything that is connected with her, and do things you like ( sports, games, hanging out with friends ) You will not forget her but at least you will not think as much on her, trust me I've been there.
979611
Quick Fix/ Do you love her? YES.   Have you been hurt in the past? YES.  Who cares my friend. You are franklly just scared.  Moments of intimacy cover it up sometimes and that is why you feel happy.  Let go of this fear. This girl you have in front of you is going to make you very happy.  Let go of your past, and live.  Otherwise, the next question you are going to be asking us is" How do I get her back?"