what would you do when your husband dont want you to be fat??is it love?
147720
This is your second posting of this question.\n\nI can only conclude that your "Gut" feeling is no he does not love you, and you want us to support you.\n\nI have faith in you and your judgement...I support you.  If you feel that you're being damaged by your husbands attitude toward your weight, then you are.  The question now becomes, what can you do to change this???  Again I have faith that you can make a positive change in your marriage to make you happier and to make your husband happier...It may take a while for you to find this solution, but I have faith you can do it.\n\nPeace.
888067
When I married my husband he only weighed 140 lbs. He is 6'1''. He was way too skinny, but I loved him anyway. \nWe have been married for almost 8 years now. He is 29 years old. Now that his metabolism has slowed down a bit, he has started to gain weight. He is a whopping 180 lbs now. He looks great. He has filled out and looks like a grown up instead of a teenager. He wouldn't have had to chase me quite so hard had he looked like that back then!  But now he has to make sure he doesn't sit on his butt too much because the love handles have threatened to show up.\nExercising is always a good idea. It doesn't matter if you are thin or not, being toned makes a big difference. Just don't expect to get big biceps and wash board abs over night. You'll only be disappointed. Eat right too. It really does help. I once knew a guy who wanted to gain weight so bad that he ate a jar of peanut butter and drank a gallon of milk a day plus his regular 3 big meals and a snack. It worked, but he felt wiped out all the time and didn't have the energy to do anything. \nWhat ever you do...do it right.
231567
If he loves you he loves you. \nYou could gain 30 pounds and he would still love you. \n\nHOWEVER!\nMen do need varity. Maybe you could change you hair a bit or try some new clothes or a new perfume.\n\nAlso, \nMake sure your bedroom is inviting and adult (no baby stuff all over it. Keep it welcoming and romantic. Be attentive to what he likes and does not like. If he likes the smell of vanilla then make the house smell like it. Make time for your self as well. Get your nails done, whiten your teeth, get a facial. If you feel relaxed and sexy then he will pick up on that. Confidence is a huge turn on and if you let your own self worth just ooze out of you then he will be all over you. I promise.
1116994
It's all in how you approach it.  If you do not actively exercise, perhaps you could start exercising for yourself and invite your spouse to join you.  Walking is a good start.  This approach would be the least likely to cause your spouse to feel like he/she is being attacked.  You could let your spouse know you are concerned not only for your own health, but for his/her health as well.  When we started our relationship, I came into it with a Bowflex.  I work out but my husband does not.  I take vitamin supplements and work hard to take good care of myself.  I let him know I care about his health, but I do not nag about it.  He started taking vitamins.  He noticed the difference in how he was feeling as a result.  Of late, he is beginning to show an interest in exercising.  I have never pushed it.  I love him even if he doesn't want to participate and he knows it.  I think it's important to let your spouse know you love him/her no matter what!  That alone may encourage him/her to take better care of him/herself.
190500
Eat smaller portions. You have to think about this seriously, imagine you and your perfect figure in your head and let it stick or else you'll just indulge! I never thought of weight loss in a healthy fashion, so if you don't either, be motivated by what you can fit into later on. The best exercise I can suggest (am i getting a little too into this?) is standing and holding on to your husbands hands, and bending 5-10 times a day. Add on 5 more every day. Good Luck!
871114
In todays world you don't have to do anything because some men are so into their self that they think any woman would drop anything to do what they want.  You don't need to change anything about yourself, your stricken with that spiteful disease of being in shape and taking care of yourself and probably very attractive.  And sad to say your stuck with some cromagnums around you that put you in a very weird situation.  Even though he is your boss I would still keep your pride and let him know that somethings he does are uncomfortable to you not just because your married but in general.  If he is a real man he will accept that and move on.  Maybe you should have your husband stop in occasionally to pick you up for lunch or something to reiterate to this pin head that your happily married and he doesn't stand a chance lol
862549
It seems that you have more of the problem.  No one will lose weght until they are ready to lose it. So even though you have helped her (which is a great thing), if she is not mentally ready to keep her weight off, then nothing you do or nothing she does will work. It's all a mental thing.  My husband and I are overweight, he is also a diabetic. I try not to force him on anything. We work out together twice a week with a personal trainer and it has helped him out. I just try and give him the support that he needs.  That's all you need to continue to do, give her the support and maybe exercise with her to get her moving. Other than that, if she is a great wife and a great person, you are a blessed man to have her in your life. You need to look at the big picture.
1174039
you should have a serious talk with your husband and I may be worng but it sounds like ur a tad bit uncomfortable with your weight also ..try working out...eating healthier..dressing sexier for him...when you get confidence it will show and affect the way others look @ you..especially ur hubby...get 'em gurl!
582851
The best thing you could do is leave him so he can find someone less shallow.  It sounds like you really don't care about this guy at all, or you would accept him for who he is.  Why did you get with him if you're embarrassed that he eats a lot, anyway?  You admit he's "really fat".  This is what really fat people do.  But even if he is really fat, he still deserves better than someone who is ashamed of him.
665
Motivation is a hard thing. I've lost right at 150 lbs. & I'll try to explain the thought processes that led up to the weight loss, hoping to help you in the process :)\n\nFor me, part of it was a result of marrying my husband. He could care what I looked like but for some silly reason, I suddenly developed a sense of vanity...don't know why. Maybe because I am older than him, I don't know. Anyway, here's the real meat of it.\n\nTo tell the complete & honest truth, I was getting dressed one day & having one of those days where you don't feel comfortable in your own skin; nothing wanted to sit correctly on my body, I was in a bad mood to begin with &, well, I was just having a case of "bad nasties". I went through the entire day in this state & ended up walking by a store...Victoria's Secret, to be exact. My husband, the saint who managed to put up with me that day, commented on something in the window. He mentioned that he liked the item & wondered if he might find a place on the internet that made it in my size. It didn't make me feel bad, per se, because he accepts my size as a fact of life & has never been mean about it. But it just hit me oddly. I looked at the outfit &, though I knew that we could probably find it online somewhere, the idea of how I might look in it really bothered me.\n\nThat's what did it...that's what started the whole process. By the time we got home that night, my thoughts had worked around to the fact that I was tired of always being tired, tired of always feeling bad, tired of always not fitting into the clothes that I'd like to wear. I was tired of being fat, plain & simple. Even so, there was no easy way to take care of it &, having been overweight all my life, I knew that a simple diet wasn't going to cut it for me. So, here's how I handled it...\n\nWhen I eat, I eat ANYTHING I want...I'm not kidding. True, I try to keep mindful of what I'm eating but I also don't beat myself up about it. If I want a banana split, I darned well have a banana split. When I looked at what I ate, when & how I ate it, I realized that I ate in cycles during the month &, though I love sweets, my natural inclination was not to have them very often. The big problem for me was breads.\n\nAnyway, I just kept mindful of HOW MUCH I ate, not so much what I ate. I trained myself to realize when I was full & to make myself stop eating. As for this trick, you must always remember that it takes about twenty minutes for your stomach to signal your brain that it is full. So, I'd eat slowly, chew my food twice as long as I used to &, sure enough, I felt full rather quickly. Once I had that under control & truly listened to my body, I was constantly giving away nearly half of my food every meal.\n\nIt has taken me a number of years to lose the weight & the last 50 pounds has brought along a new re-evaluation of how small my stomach has gotten - we've wasted quite a bit of food over the past few months in that little quest - but I've gotten to the point now that I can go to Victoria's Secret & at least try on a few things :) I'm not into what I really want to wear but, hey, you take the successes where you can.\n\nAs I started to lose weight, the main thing that kept me going was how well I felt as well as clothes. I realized that, while I am not your regular clothes horse, I like the little game of moving from one size to another. I was in tears the first day & was able to purchase clothes off of the rack &, recently, when I was able to buy panties off of the racks instead of in the packages...OMG, I thought my husband was going to go insane. It took me over four hours to try on undergarments until I was satisfied with the look & fit! But you know what? I feel better about my body than I ever have & I thoroughly enjoy the look my husband gets on his face when he sees me! That's motivation, I can promise you...\n\nMy suggestion after all
249697
How bout not blaming someone else for your problems.  If you are getting fat it's up to you to do something about that.\n\nI can't believe all those who answered before me did not call him on this!  What's wrong with ya'll????
830287
I wish my hubby had a higher libido...after having five kids and being married for several years our love life has gotten boring and his sex drive has gone down. We are always paying attention to the kids and dealing with other things to even begin thinking about intimacy. \n\nI would love it if I actually had to worry about tuning myself up to meet his needs! It would make me feel more desirable...
446620
i am not skinny myself and i have been with a very good looking faithfull man for the past 4 years so it will happen for you.  i think it is very important to feel comfortable with your weight though because if you are not comfortable with the way you look then a man is not going to approach you for fear of rejection the way you are rejecting your body.  if you are not comfortable in your skin try to do something about it.  see a dr. if you have tried and nothing worked.  but most importanly you have to love yourself before any one other than family will fall in love with you.  we all have a beauty of our own,  combine your physical beauty with your inner beauty and your man will come but dont rush it.  the right ,man will come along  probably when you arent looking for it.  and there are men with a prefrence for larger women.  good luck and god bless
265836
I WOULD!!! I MEAN IT'S NOT ABOUT WHATS ON THE OUTSIDE IT'S WHAT'S ON THE INSIDE THAT COUNTS! RIGHT! I SAY DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT SO MUCH BECAUSE IF A WOMEN CAN'T/WON'T EXCEPT YOU FOR WHAT'S ON THE INSIDE THEN SHE'S PROBABLY NOT WORTH FOOLING WITH!!! I THINK PEOPLE ARE REALLY GETTING TO JUDGMENTAL NOW DAYS!!! SO, DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT! JUST BE YOURSELF!! I KNOW HOW YOU ARE FEELING!! I'M 25 YEAR OLD AN HAVE NEVER WEIGHED MORE THAN 120POUNDS AN AFTER HAVING MY SON WENT TO 150! I HAVE BEEN STRUGGLING TO LOOSE IT EVER SINCE!\n\nWISHING YOU THE BEST!!\nAN IF YOU JUST NEED SOMEONE TO TALK TO FEEL FREE TO EMAIL ME!!
419841
LOL I was the "perfect" wife for the first 6 months until I realized that I wanted a man and not a child that I would have to pamper. I caught him dropping his clothes in our bedroom floor and couldn't take it anymore so I threw a bucket of ice water on him. That woke him up real quick!\n\nThe question is do you want to be a partner or a slave? The choice is yours but when you're ten years in and just can't take it anymore don't come crying to me...\n\nAlso, here's some sage advice. Teach your hubby to care for himself. "Give a man a fish and he eats for the day, teach a man to fish and he eats for a life time." If he really loves you don't think for a second that if he knows how to do woman's work he'd leave you. No REAL man would do that. It will make it though where he doesn't starve to death if something happens to you.
446984
Lots of men like women with some padding.  Compromise...don't gain and only lose enough to be in the healthy range...not to have an anorexic appearance.  Be happy that he isn't that type of man to leave you because you aren't the slender thing he married...men have been known to do that.  Count your blessings!
566664
Yes, no, and maybe.  Sounds confusing.\nThe Yes part is I love my wife's body and I do adore it even though she is overweight.  When she dresses sexy or moves a certain way it sometimes gives me a immediate hard on (probably too much information) or it is a real turn on.\nHowever, there are times when she isn't as appealing.  That is the no answer.  This is usually when she isn't happy with herself and her body.  She is afraid to show it off and I think its part that but it is also part of her personality.  She doesn't seam as happy and as talkative and seams to get upset easily.  So even though her outsides are the same her insides are making herself totally unappealing.\nThe maybe part is when she gets like above.  I start to think about her in really sexy cloths and lingerie (stuff she doesn't even own but wich she would go and buy) and it really turns me on.