I just got out of an abusive relationship, this has happened to me before, should I give up on dating?
147107
no, try not getting emotionally attached to jerks. anyone that makes you feel bad is not worth the time.
771421
Good for you for making the very difficult decision to leave. I don't know if you have gone to counseling. That can be a good step in moving on. Some shelters for abused women have free counseling programs even for women who have not lived there. Also there are often non-profit counseling centres. If you are in North America call 211 or your local community information center for more details.\n\nI had a bad five year relationship that began to be physically abusive by the end. In my situation, I found that talking to an experienced counselor helped. I also got involved in activities that I had let slide when I was with my ex. I spent a lot of time reconnecting with old friends. It's a good time to explore new hobbies too. If you can't think of one, think of what you most loved doing as a child (painting, singing, writing...) and maybe take something like that up again. This is your time to find out more about you. I wish you all the best!
915973
One thing I don't understand is your attachment to your previous relationships (past). You are not that desperate, are you?The relationships did not work, period. Move on. Don't date anybody just to date somebody. Find someone you really like. You will feel it when you see him. Forget about the past.
860440
I left 2 previous relationships that were abusive. It got to the point where it was a life or death situation. I had to leave to save the life of my child and myself. It was the best thing I ever did for myself. Right now I'm doing well rebuilding a better life for my little boy. I didn't want him growing up thinking that the way my ex treated us was right or the norm. I give props to every woman who has had the courage to leave. For those who haven't yet, I pray for your safety until you do. There has been a drastic rise in the number of women being killed by ex's lately and I knew if I didn't leave, I'd be next. I thank God for making a way of escape. Be encouraged.
425696
Everyone must be saying this... But girl, move on! I had the same experience... The guy I chucked a year ago suddenly appeared begging for forgivness... Even though he was fit I still said no, like you I broke up with them twice... Guys never change, I kept on making a mistake... Girl don't you...
99384
Yes, you should take some time, even if you don't think you need it, to reevaluate yourself, your feelings about the world and relationships.  If anything, just to make sure you will be okay, and not have a bad after effect later than expected.  You know, to make sure you still know you.  Relationships change people, even if they don't see it, so it is best to just relax, take a break, and make sure you are totally comfortable to go back into dating before you try again.  If you are not sure, just wait, it is likely you are feeling some subconcious doubt, and that will hurt your chances of a good experience.  You will want to give a new partner what they deserve, and you have to be confident and sure to really give it your all.
655240
Your relieved that there is finally closure on a bad situation. but, also scared about getting too close to someone too fast because your afraid of getting yourself into the same situation again. Just try and trust and believe in people until otherwise proven that didnt deserve that trust. remember that person is not your ex and you just need to take it slow and try to relax. Best wishes and best of luck in your search for happiness.
345788
It sounds like your on the rebound, so maybe it's best to stay single for awhile! Figure out what you want and hopefully this will help you attract a good man!
260875
You are looking for the most rare of breed of man.\nI you are looking for the 'same' sort of man you were going out with then you might need 'clouser' on your last relationship, this happens to everyone, you have an inprint of that relationship, sounds odd i know, (been there, t-shirt worn).\nyou are going to have to start on level 1 again, you cant go in to a new relationships with a battleplan, you may not know that you are doing this but its clear to others.\nas for A REAL person and a REAL relationship, there is two things you can do, first, keep trying as hard as you can, push rush looking for that right man, or enjoy who you might find, take it as it comes, you might not get anther chance.\nO and for all the guys who stood you up, I'll have a word, shame on them!\nhope this helps.\n\n - Mr Right (answer)
230875
Sounds to me like you are trying to talk yourself into staying- talking yourself into the idea period.  It doesn't have to be a horrible relationship or an abusive guy to make it just "not feel there". Do what's in your heart.
806045
My friend thank you for having enough courage to ask this question.  There are answers.  We have had many just like you in Shattered Men ask this and they have found healing.  \n\nYou can start over again and become a new person.  PLEASE contact me
294523
Yikes.\nI've not been in an abusive relationship- but I did live in a womens' shelter after briefly moving back in with my parents and they decided to become abusive...\nI've also been violentally sexually assaulted- which was maybe similar trauma (though not as ongoing) as an abusive relationship... \nWhat helped me after the assault was NOT to generalize. I literally some days had to think HARD to find good things about men and sex! I made myself, though. \nIt was just ONE man, out of hundreds I have known as friends and acquaintances... and no one else ever hurt me like that.\nActually thinking of the men who I know or imagine I know who are NOT assholes and abusive in that way helped me alot. \nI imagine that having been in an abusive relationship, that your self esteem might be sorta low... getting over harsh words from my parents as a teenager actually took a longer time than getting over the assault! If you have those kinds of problems, you might consider seeking cognitive behavior therapy. Emotional abuse is tough S*** to get over! \nIf you have persistant fears and flashbacks, you might want to see a counselor also...\nI wish you the best of luck!
1146260
Sweetie, you are suffereing from the "I am worthless" syndrome. Get over it NOW! You are the same person you always were, have the same merits and weaknesses, the same love for others locked inside. One bad relationship does not mean you will have another. IF what you want from a date is a quickie, go for it. IF you are looking for something more, wait until you have your ego and self-worth back together. We all have been there, but ... unfortunately, I have found that being asked to go to bed is NOT a compliment, it is just what it is...the same guys who want to bed you down will go down a line to the first who says "yes." It is amusing to watch it in bars...Try watching and laughing. You will get a great sense of perspective. The best of luck to you...nothing in you has changed.
164813
Ignore the phone call, unless it continues.\n\nResist the urge to respond to the immature behavior.\n\nI think it is good you are out of the relationship now and you should keep it that way. He was abusive and I am sure your self esteem went down the gutter.\n\nTreat yourself. Do something you always wanted to do but couldn't till now. Try seeing people and going places that have no relation to your ex.\n\nIt wouldn't be a bad idea to see a therapist and/or find a support group to deal with the abuse issues you went through.
899441
I think u should move on...is better for u...\nIf you are single or going throught a break up and you are looking and need someone, please visit my site, join free and start dating:\nhttp://tinyurl.com/ykj7bm
865888
First of all you ask for forgiveness and then you move on.  Do not keep beating yourself up for something you can not undo.  Then you need to make sure that you do not get involved with him again.  He may try to restart this toxic relationship up again because it worked for him.  You were used, keep reminding yourself of this so you don't go back to him, I have been there.  Everytime you try to justify all the good things he did, remind yourself of the pain he has inflicted on you and his family.  Stop beating yourself up...You will get thru this.
35516
I agree with the previous poster, I was abused in two of my relationships, and recently my boyfriend killed himself, and since then just the thought of dating any guys makes me extremely uncomfortable, I'm even uncomfortable being in the same room with a guy that would most times be near my type. And of course I've had intensive therapy for a very long time, and have yet to not freeze up around even guy friends, and it has destroyed many friendships because I am unwilling to open up and share my feelings, and am often called cold, or unfeeling. The best advice, give it some time, when the right one comes along then you'll most likely have feelings of attraction for them.