Do you have good pastor joke?
147831
LMAO.  You have great humor.  Here's one for you.  It isn't about a pastor but one is mentioned.  The kids in the story are the main characters.  But they are not the only ones who are "always blamed".  It happens to many of those who have been awarded "legend" status by others.  It's all so amusing ;) .\n\nTwo little kids, ages 8 and 10, were excessively mischievous and full of laughter. This sometimes annoyed others and it seemed they were always getting into trouble, whether they were to blame or not.  Everyone believed that, if any mischief occurred in their town, those two were probably involved.\n\nThe mother of the children heard about one pastor in town who had been successful in disciplining children, so she asked if he would speak with her kids. The pastor agreed but said he wanted to see the children individually. The very next morning the mother sent her two children to see the pastor.  She told the 8-year old to go in first when they got there.\n\nThe pastor, a huge man with a very deep booming voice, told the younger child to sit down and then asked sternly, "Where is God?".\n\nThe kid's  mouth dropped open and she made no response; she just sat there with her mouth hanging open, wide-eyed. The pastor repeated the question in an even sterner tone, "Where is God!!?" Again the child made no attempt to answer.  Finally, the pastor raised his voice even more and shook his finger in the child's face and bellowed, "WHERE IS GOD!?"\n\nThe child screamed and ran from the room; she ran directly home and dove into her closet, slamming the door behind her. When her silbing found her in the closet, he asked, "What happened?"\n\nThe younger child, gasping for breath, replied, "We are in BIG trouble this time, dude. God is missing - and they think WE did it!"
273540
""""One person's theology,\nIs another person's belly laugh.""""
551779
An old man walks into a confessional. The following conversation ensues: \n\nMan: I am 92 years old, have a wonderful wife of 70 years, many children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren. Yesterday, I picked up two college girls, hitchhiking. We went to a motel, where I had sex with each of them three times.\nPriest: Are you sorry for your sins?\nMan: What sins?\nPriest: What kind of a Catholic are you?\nMan: I'm not.\nPriest: Why are you telling me all this?\nMan: I'm telling everybody!
789845
ok...This is a really sick joke, and I don't like it.  People are probably going to get mad at me for it, but you asked for it so here it goes.\n\nJesus Christ walks into an Inn.  He hands the Innkeeper three nails and asks, "Can you put me up for the night?"\n\nI'm sorry, sorry, sorry, but I was just answering the question(or request).
810688
every day a good evangelical republican gets exposed!!!\n\n\nyep! it is pretty damn funny.
265672
lol Idk what religion you are but here's something:\n\nlmao this one's funny:\nA man dies and goes to Heaven. He gets to meet GOD and asks GOD if he can ask him a few questions.\n"Sure," GOD says, "Go right ahead". \n"OK," the man says. "Why did you make women so pretty?"\nGOD says, "So you would like them." \n"OK," the guy says. "But how come you made them so beautiful?" \n"So you would LOVE them", GOD replies. \nThe man ponders a moment and then asks, "But why did you make them such airheads?" \nGOD says, "So they would love you!"\n\n\nhaha this is good too:\nThe two thousand member Baptist church was filled to overflowing capacity one Sunday morning. The preacher was ready to start the sermon when two men, dressed in long black coats and black hats entered thru the rear of the church.\n\nOne of the two men walked to the middle of the church while the other stayed at the back of the church. They both then reached under their coats and withdrew automatic weapons.\n\nThe one in the middle announced, "Everyone willing to take a bullet for Jesus stay in your seats!"\n\nNaturally, the pews emptied, followed by the choir. The deacons ran out the door, followed by the choir director and the assistant pastor.\n\nAfter a few moments, there were about twenty people left sitting in the church. The preacher was holding steady in the pulpit.\n\nThe men put their weapons away and said, gently, to the preacher, "All right, pastor, the hypocrites are gone now. You may begin the service."
852806
The vicar returned to the rectory complaining bitterly that someone had stolen his bicycle while he'd been out on his parish calls.\n"I've got an idea," replied the verger."This Sunday in church make the Ten Commandments the theme of the sermon and when you get to "Thou shall not steal" watch their faces carefully for any tell-tale signs."\nSo that Sunday the vicar began his sermon but halfway through suddenly dried up and finished early.\n"What happened?" asked the verger later.\n"Well,I was going to do as you suggested but when I got to "Thou shall not commit adultery," I suddenly remembered where I'd left my bicycle."
51626
I would say, "Please learn how to take a break!  Jesus did not expect you to me the Christ himself when he anointed you to be a pastor!"  My pastor has three weeks of vacation that are available to him every year and he only takes one week at the maximum.  He is there for everybody.  Every time someone is sick, he is there at the hospital to visit, pray, and encourage the family.  He may not even know the family at all...the family may be an acquaintance of someone who goes to our church, but he is still there.  He is always doing something!  In every other aspect of his ministry, he is awesome!  The only complaint that I've ever heard someone say about him is that he is too dedicated to his job!  That really says alot about the guy.
1097010
Consult your pastor would be the best thing I could recommend.
112502
Keeping a God@amned sense of humor.
532390
Dude, that was awesome. Thanks for the laugh!!!! If that "pastor" had a church and you came and did not convert, he would "bust a cap in your ass for the lord!! beeatch"
933253
There is a good joke there, but presentation needs work
134542
thats intersting and i honestly just got done laughing i love the idea and im gonna ask my youth pastor asap i think he would get a kick out of it
1065912
Some of them are funny puns but I don't know how appropriate they are.  Churches are in the recruiting business so I guess they are grasping at straws and think trying to be cute will do the trick.
452212
What has the world come to? People don't seem to make good clean jokes any more (keyword: good)! Sheesh...\n\nHere's one:\n\nA pregnant woman gets into a car accident and falls into a deep coma. Asleep for nearly 6 months, she wakes up and sees that she is no longer pregnant. Frantically, she asks the doctor about her baby. \n\nThe doctor replies, "Ma'am, you had twins! A boy and a girl. The babies are fine. Your brother came in and named them." \n\nThe woman thinks to herself, "Oh no, not my brother -- he's an idiot!" \n\nExpecting the worst, she asks the doctor, "Well, what's the girl's name?" \n\n"Denise," the doctor says. \n\nThe new mother thinks, "Wow, that's not a bad name! Guess I was wrong about my brother. I like Denise!" \n\nThen she asks the doctor, "What's the boy's name?" \n\nThe doctor replies, "DeNephew" \n\n:o)
724546
Great Joke!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
216696
Is there a question anywhere in that sermon?