i let my son see his dad when my son wants to i dont make him go will i lose custody because of that?
156704
i no im just 14 but my parents already went though court and if he says he doesnt want to see his dad all he will have to do is tell that to the court its way easier with 1 kid and courts agree more with mothers then the do fathers
1171768
you have to prove that she is an unstable mother. but even if you dont get custody you still have the right to visit your son as much as you want to, no matter how far he is from you. And if she doesnt let you visit your son then report the bitch, if your son is old enough to make his decision then go back to court and the judge can hear both the woman side your side and your son decision  But Good luck to you and your son!!!!!!!!!!!!!
504467
do you have an attorney? i do know that in the state of TX you can ask him be given supervised visitation where you can designate someone who has to be there every time he has the child and in some cases you can even say where he has to be during that time i went through something similar with my daughter in the end he gave up all rights to her so it is OK now but there are options you will just need a good attorney to make sure that you are utilizing the system to your advantage
671688
Demand supervised visitation. You have to follow what the court orders or you could loose your son. Follow your instinct and don't put him in harms way. Document everything so you always have proof.
1073177
Yep- you should let him. Hate to say this but I know. My mom didn't let us see our deadbeat dad ( for good reason I found out years later) but SHE was the one I ended up resenting. I left home at 15- on Mother's Day- 9 years ago to go live with my dad. In retrospect, now that I'm grown and I'm a mom- I see what she meant. Why SHOULD he get to see the kids whenever he wants when you're the one doing all the work? But- kids NEVER see it that way. Be the better person, let the kids see his dad. That way, the kid can see and learn for himself that the guy is no good and he wont even want to go over there.
1009802
Do you want contact with your children? Then you need to step up and fight for them. California is pretty fair when it comes to dads. Your children have legal rights to have contact with you. Unless you are found unfit for some reason.  Do you have a court order? You need to find an attorney within the jurisdiction from the lastest court order. Good luck and you really need fight for this. Your kids need to have contact with their father, it may scar them for life you don't want them to think you abandoned them do you?
984740
Do not by any means let them go w/ their father again is must be hard specially if the kids are asking to see him. I ve been thru the same thing he took my son away and at the time there was no court order so when i did call the police saying he didnt want to give me my one month old son back all they could do was stare at me and tell me there was nothing they could do since he was the father. He was very abusive and consumed drugs at the time but still nothing was done plz dont let them go for the saftey of your kids its hard i know but looking im pretty sure you will find whats just right and get the help you need
315198
I have shared custody with my exhusband with our sons.  I can tell you right now that as long as he pays child support and its in their court papers she will have to let him visit with his kids.  She cannot deny his rights no matter how much she wants to.  There is a thing he needs to know about called father's rights.  There is an organization for the rights of fathers.  With my situation my exhusband shares custody and we have always talked about it with our kids because they are involved with this too.  There is something he can do too because i could not keep my exhusband from seeing his sons.  Of course now he chooses not to see his sons because of his retarded alcoholic girlfriend.  Sometimes if you step back and let things happen the way they do it works out better than what you think.  The more he argues with her the worse off she will become.  My advice do like i did let the courts handle it dont fight the decision and let things take its course.  Also keep in mind that since he is still married and he is living with you that can count against him.  I hate to say that but its true.  She can hold that against him in court.  I know about all of this my exhusband was not allowed to live with his girlfriend until after our divorce.  In the divorce is where all things should be stipulated and rules set forth.  If he pays childsupport she will have to let him visit with his sons no matter what.  Don't let it stress you to the point it gets out of hand she is using the kids as stomping ground for him.  She is mad because he has decided to move on without her see what i mean?  After awhile things will work itself out.  I promise on that one.
666800
This is a tough question. If you let your son make his own choice you may not always like the way his father raises him, However if you make your son stay with you he may resent you. I'd say the best decision is to let him make the choice but for you to stay very active in his life as well. If you notice things aren't right with him or that he isn't in the best possible situation then you can choose to say something then. As long as his dad is a good provider, and is a good loving dad, it's ok for him to be his friend sometimes. \nDon't worry so much he will be fine! Just do a lot of praying, that always helps! \nMaybe just maybe it's more that you will be lonely without him??? ;o) I feel for you!
1144619
Sounds like a confusing situation you are in.  As for him, unless the court says you cannot be around during his visits she and he cant do anything, his visitation time is just that, his.  As long as he is around and wants you to be a part of his child's life and no Court has denied you being there, you can.  \n\nA court can deny you being there if you've got a bad record and she requests it directly though.... and the child doesnt stay overnight in your home, especially if you are trully married.  But honestly it doesnt happen that much.
259222
Just because he is ordered to pay child support does not mean he gets rights to your child.  Visitation and custody are dealt with in seperate legal battles.  Go after the child support.  It won't go against you if you don't go for it, but is it really fair that you're shouldering all the financial responsibility for your son.  Applying is easy.  Go to your state's .gov web address, and search for child support or dept. of revenue.  Once you fill out the application and send it in, they will notify you of any progress with your case, and will assign a court date. (Save copies of all paperwork you send in or they send you)  If your son's father is named on the birth certificate, that's good enough for the court.  If he's not listed, he can either say he is the father, and the court will decide the amount he is to pay or he can contest it, and get a paternity test.  If he doesn't show up to court for these hearings, a bench warrent will be put out for his arrest (they won't seek him out, but if he gets pulled over for speeding and there's a warrent, he will be arrested).  The judge will ask both of you to submit financial statements, and then determine how much he will pay (a percentage of his pay, usually no more than around 35%)  They could also order him to pay back support.  \n\nI'm not trying to say your son's father is a bad guy and deserves harassment.  I just want you to know the process.  I'm a firm believer in child support.  It takes two people to make a child, and two people to support it financially.  Right now, money may not be such a huge deal, but why take all of that on when you're already doing all of the parenting too?  What about your son's future?  What about college?  Perhaps having that extra money could mean moving to a better neighborhood with better schools.  Perhaps it means that you could afford to work fewer hours to spend more time with your son.  Think about the possibilities.\n\nAs far as him being irresponsible in other areas, if you're worried that he'll go after custody, most cases the child will stay with the primary caretaker (you).  They will review his behavior and decide if that's appropriate.  Same thing with visitation.  They will review his behavior and decide if it's appropriate.
1022663
Hard to say, since I don't know the background, but my intution says walk away. I also have a feeling that you might not be able to walk away any more than he has. He may keep coming back, but you keep letting him...what's up with that? If you two had a relationship based on true respect and understanding, then there would probably not be the back and forth stuff.  One thing is for sure, do not let him back just because of your daughter. Kids watch us for a model on how to handle their realtionships. You would be surprised how many things get planted in those little brains...... You know how much you've hurt over this on-again-off-again stuff, and you wouldn't want to see her with any man but one who loves her and is dedicated to her for life right??\nSo, then you must model that in your own relationship.  I am a single mother, and I had a very up and down relationship with a guy for awhile. I found it hard to walk away from it, because I loved him, but in the end, the love for myself and my son won out.... it can for you too.  \nGood luck, and don't expect things to go smoothly either way. This has obviously been a very important person to you, so if you stay together, you'll have alot of work to do, and if you walk away, you'll have a lot of healing!! You can do it though-- put yourself first!!
396411
I know how you feel.  My son chose to stay with his dad after my divorce.  I have our daughter.  The distance is near 1000 miles so, I am not able to see him much.  I do call him every weekend and see him at least 4 times a year.  It is still not enough and I am frustrated since I am unable to do anything about this.  (Work, money, ect...)  My son knows that I love and miss him so much.  It hurts.
901710
Yes, most judges will heavily weigh what the guardian ad litem suggests; and your ex and his attorney know it.\n\nYou should stand your ground.  If you think this man is a bad influence for your child, then he probably is.  I am tired of people who blame you for your past mistakes.  As Oprah Winfrey always says, "when you know better, you do better."  I think these are great words to live by.  Clearly, the GAL agrees with you.  Anyone who stalks the mother of thier child is not a healthy human being and you should not have to put up with that behavior.\n\nIt is especialy important if your child is male.  If he sees his dad treat you in a demeaning or improper way, he will learn to model that behavior and perpetuate it in his future relationships.  Time to nip it in the bud!\n\nGood Luck!
722486
First of all there was a lot you could do and it would have been much simpler to do it, you should have taken your son to a safe place, and left that crazy,immature,self centered,imbecile of a girlfriend of yours to do whatever she chose to do.\n Now you have opened a serious can or worms, even with a good lawyer you are in for a nightmare.child services can get involved,and you probably have no witness or way to prove any of your story,and even if you did,your still going to have to deal with kicking and striking her ,and to compound it ,the child was in the house at the time.\n What you need is a good lawyer,voluntarily get yourself enrolled in parenting classes,and counseling,and try to get your parents or some responsible adult to petition for temporary custody on the grounds of best interest of the child.\n Once this is resolved,petition for custody of the child,or a declaration of guardianship for your son, and petition for your girlfriend to have supervised visitation with her son only.\n Good luck, get enrolled in parenting classes and counseling today,to demonstrate your responsibility and intention to the court ,they aren't going for the "what else could I do" defense, and get yourself a good family lawyer who specializes in child disposition cases.
579553
You are not taking away your daughter from her dad..He can visit. It isn't healthy for you to stay if you don't love him. Ya can still be friends! good luck!!
1039072
My ex pulled stuff too. Your ex will probably get away with it. Just concentrate on the custody. People like your ex will find a way of getting out of paying and you don't want someone like him raising your child.