How do you help someone stop codependency with their drug addicted child?
154292
Never give up. Ever. Giving up is just like sending the child to their grave. And who will continue to love this person if not the mother, father, or both? Everyone can be helped. Yes, everyone.
448585
I am sorry to say you can't. The only one that can make them stop is the person who is addicted. I know this from personal experience, I am addicted to cocaine--I haven't used in over a year, but even though I am clean I am not foolish enough to think that I can ever use again. Once an addict always an addict. I don't know who the person that you are referring too is, whether it be you or someone you love, I just wish you all the best because addiction in any form is very hard to overcome--but remember it CAN be done--I am proof of this. Good luck to you and God bless.
538606
If you don't feel you can do this on your own, you need to seek proffessional help.  Call a crisis prevention line, or go to your local youth center, or seek a counselor.  Try these web sites and phone numbers attached.\n\nAlcohol/Drug Abuse Hotline\n1-800-662-HELP\n\nMarijuana Anonymous\n1-800-766-6779\n\nHelp Finding a Therapist\n1-800-THERAPIST (1-800-843-7274)\n\nNational Youth Crisis Hotline\n1-800-448-4663\n\nTeen Helpline\n1-800-400-0900\n\nTeenLine\n1-800-522-8336\n\n\nHope one of these will give you the help you need.  Good luck... don't give up!
567553
No amount of Rehab will help unless she is willing to make a change. Addiction is a tough thing to go through, there are a lot of underlying issues that cause her to use. I've been clean for three years now, meth and crack cocaine being my drugs of choice. It took a lot of losing to get me back onto my feet. She'll hit bottom and hopefully realize meth is not the way to live. Some of us are not that lucky. I'm here if she ever wants to talk.
125671
Concentrate on your own recovery. There is no person that is worth giving it up.\n\nWhile you are concentrating on whether or not you can trust him, is he using or not, etc, YOU ARE NOT CONCENTRATING ON YOUR OWN RECOVERY. Let him worry about his. YOU worry about YOURS.\n\nIf you suspect that he is using (and you really can tell, can't you?) DUMP HIM.\n\nThink of it as a lifeboat. You need to stay in the boat so you will not drown. If he is rocking the boat, or might swamp it - THROW HIM OVERBOARD, for the sake of everyone else in the boat who wants to survive (You, your parents, siblings, kids, friends, etc.) \n\nAnyone who is not keeping the boat going, keeping it moving forward, WHOEVER THEY ARE, has to go. We are talking life and death here, don't forget!\n\nCruel but TRUE.\n\nMaybe your good example will be the thing that finally saves him. Maybe not.\n\nJust for today, stay strong, and best of luck to you!
403939
Honey, you don't need this and neither does your son. This is the role model you are choosing for your child. Is that what you want? If your guy had stayed in NA and had really tried to work this out, then I'd say to stick with him. But he really doesn't sound like he's giving it his entire effort. Maybe he does not want to give up drugs. So you have to tell him to make the choice... you or the drugs. I'll bet he chooses the drugs, thinking you won't walk out. But I know you will leave becasue I'll bet you love your kid a lot more than you love this drug addict.
408472
I would certainly get help from the organizations that offer help. You must go and seek help even if the husband does not (or cannot) go. YOU must go and find out what CAN be done to save your marriage,your family, your life!You have to make up your mind that you have had ENOUGH the "lifestyle" of a drug user! MAKE UP YOUR MIND AND THEN MAKE A MOVE!
360829
Addiction is sticky subject.  I went through my own addictions for years, and have a friend who is going through it now. It is tough. My friend is now in an "in-patient" program. That is her way of coping with it. I had to pull myself out of my addictions. Luckily I was able to do so. It was tough, but it does get better. I have been clean for over 3 1/2 years now, and have been leading a happy, healthy life. Confrontation is scary and difficult, but for the most part intervention is sometimes the only way to go. Your son needs to know that you care for him, and that it is not an issue of your feelings being hurt. It needs to be more of a concern for his health, and wellbeing than anything. However, he needs to make the first step and accept the fact that there is a problem and also accept help. It's a long healing process, but it is possible. Best of luck to you!
785814
If your boyfriend is truly attempting and wants to kick the cocaine habit, his next step is to be admitted into rehab.  Obviously, he can't do it alone.  I know, I have been there and done that.  \nI think that deep down, you really don't think that he is going to kick this habit since you are talking to someone else.  Don't get me wrong, I am not downing you for doing so.  I can imagine what kind of hell you yourself go through, been there and done that too.  Another thing that you must face up to and realize is that this is having an affect on your children.  Those children are going to have to become one of the catalyst that will give him the strength to stop using the coke, but he, and only he, has to make that happen.  It will not be easy, it will not be anywhere near easy, but he can do it, but as I said, he has got to want to do it.  It is time for you to give him an ultimatum- either the coke, or you and the kids.  Tough love is the only way you will ever have a future with this man and it needs to start yesterday. It is time to stop being his enabler.   If he will not give up the drugs, then it is time for you to give up on him.  Today should be the deadline.  Good luck to you.
96351
1st and foremost GET YOUR DAUGHTER OUT OF DANGER!  If that means leaving then do it!\n2.) get him help NOW!  Talk to his dr. and tell him what you are telling us.  If that doesn't help call children and family services and they WILL get him help. Or they will place him somewhere where he will have to deal with his problems.\n3.) family counciling is a MUST for ALL of you not just him.  It will give you ways to help deal with this.\n4.) Put up a united front, ALL of you.  And stick to boundries you make.\n\nHe doesn't sound like a sociopath or the sociopathic personality but he does sound like a young man in alot of pain and doesn't know how to deal with this.  Drug abuse doesn't just effect the abuser but the rest as well, expecially children!  GET HELP FOR ALL OF YOU!
1002633
I have had a similar problem because my husband died when my son was 10 years old--maybe it was even worse, because my son wanted to be the "man" in the house.\n\nFirst and foremost, if your son is on some kind of drug, then punishment will not work at all--you will have to take more drastic steps.  Before you take any steps, sit down with your son and talk to him---not about drugs/alcohol, but ask him what exactly is bothering him so much that he feels the need to fit in with the crowd.  Maybe that will lead to a more in depth discussion on why he chose to do drugs.  Because, as you can imagine, once he realizes his own problem, there is a chance to fix it.  Just keep in mind that he is a teenager, they will not listen to our preaching, they do feel invincible, they feel they are in control---"it can't happen to me" kind of thing.\n\nIf you can get your son to talk about what is bothering him, the next step would be to involve his father, because it is important to decide togherther on what to do next and how to go about the rest.\n\nSince I did not have a husband any longer I decided to find a parenting support group.  That's where I got a lot of help and that might help you too.  Bringing my problems to this group helped me inasmuch that I was able to change the way I approached my teen, and it also helped me find solutions.\nI enrolled my son in a counseling program and with the help of the counselor decided that it was best to have my son admitted to a hospital for children who resorted to alcohol and drugs.  My son was able to communicate with other children about his problems, got good counseling there, and made the decision that drugs were not for him.  He was uptset that I put him there, but I dealt with that, because the most important thing to me was that my son got all the help necessary out there and it was worth every penny spent, because he is totally away from drugs, was able to join the military, is married now. So when considering your options consider that IF he is on drugs, he will not be able to get out of that alone.\n\nIf he is not seriously on drugs---a drugtest will reveal that(and depending on your insurance it might even be paid for by them), then I really would suggest that you look for a parenting support group to get support and good ideas on how to deal with your teenage son.  I went to a group called Parents Anonymus, I have no idea if they still exist---if they don't, then you might consider starting a group of your own.  The support is important.  Teenage boys in particular are too often thinking that they are a man and do not need our guidance and advice.  Whatever you do, consider that punishment might only be temporarily.  \n\nAnother thing I did was enroll my son in karate---he told me years later that this really helped him to let off a lot of steam.  Teenagers want to have some sort of control, they don't have it because they are still under our care, so they do get very angry when we decide that something is not good for them, and then they do that very same thing, just to defy us.\n\nLastly, I did hear a report on the news not so very long ago that the reaction of teenagers is also hormone related.  Once they are in puberty, there is a constant up and down because their hormone input is not regulated by the brain yet.\n\nI do not know if this helped you, but I sure hope so and wish you the best of luck.
205683
My dear I have been a Counter Intelligence Officer of Narcotics for 13 years how you could stop drug abuse is you yourself stoping to use it no one I MEAN no ONE could make you do it people give lame excuses that they want to forget the tradigies or go high having sex etc. but DRUG whatever ever may be valiums or LSD or HERION Cocaine never helps.\n\nBE strong in yourself and believe in your self you can avoid them.
140488
You are not alone. I will pray for you to find the strength to be the kind of person you know you can be, loving, caring and giving. I pray that you can overcome your addiction to drugs, that are clouding your vision of being a loving mother. Remember God is with you at all times. Please pray for me also. God Bless You and keep you safe.
591441
I'm glad you are going to therapy, that is one of the best things for you in that situation. Take time to focus on you and get stable on your meds.\nAsk your therapist about groups in your area as well. They should have contacts/referrals that will help you to find options. \nCheck out http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/\nThey have meetings for familys, friends and others who loved ones are drug dependent.
50821
YOu don't have to be mean or you will scare them AWAY and may pushed to do more. Sit down and have a talk with him. Many people turns to drugs and alcohol when they are having trouble communicating their problems with family. They hang out with peers who are doing the same thing - drugs and some commit a crime or two. This is very sad but is true to most people. When you do the conversation, be sincere and firm. Offer help. They may need somebody to listen to. A shoulder to cry on. Make yourself available for your son and be his friend. The effect of such thing is only temporary but having self-respect last forever.\n\nI personally made someone QUIT smoking weed. He had done it since 13 yrs old, now he is in his 30's (but was 27 when he stopped). The sincerity of your  voice and being true to what you said to him is the key. When you say you will be there for him, be there for him. No need to yell, scream, ground or whatever punishment is there. COMMUNICATE with him!
495146
The therapist and support group cannot even legally give you any inclination that he is even a patient there under the HIPA rules so you can't do much but move on. Honestly, if he has done "sexual things" in front of your son and is an unstable drug addict you need to seek help for yourself to understand why you want him to be anywhere near your son. Sorry, to put it so bluntly, but yeah dream on.
982619
because your son is a drug addict,and makes his own choices