my boyfriend is having a secret affair with my best friend what should i do?
143177
Oh, hon... I'm so sorry.  What should you do?  Well, obviously, its important to confront them (SO MUCH easier said than done, i know).  I think that maybe you need to spend some time with yourself.  Get to know yourself, love yourself again.  Its so easy to feel bad about yourself in these types of situations, but you shouldn't.  THEY are the ones who should feel bad about themselves.  Join a group, make some new friends.  Most of all, know that you will be, someday, treated the way that you deserve.
586443
If she is your best friend...why would you even talk to him knowing the things you know. She is the only one you need to worry about and be true to. You owe him nothing. And if there are children involved then all the more reason to stay away from him. If he found out where she is, then he could harm all of them.
672852
my advice to you would be to stop and examine both relationships. if you and this friend are really getting that close and you really want to have sex and/or take this relationship to the next level then go for it but let the boyfriend go first. if its not that kind of relationship then stop thinking about sex. maybe you should also think about what kind of problems you may be having with your boyfriend that would cause you to start having these thoughts about another man. and also maybe you should ask yourself why your boyfriend would say its ok to go ahead and do this, maybe he already has.
1048170
Hiding something from you means it wasn't innocent. Apparently you found them, though, so I can only imagine the trust issues you and your boyfriend have. And this is the real problem.\n\nYou're either going to have to work out what the two of you trust the other to do and be okay with it, or you're going to have to figure out an amicable way to go your separate ways. The relationship will only go sour for both of you - if it isn't already - if you can't find a way to trust each other.\n\nBy the way, way to use your intuition - I mean it - to uncover what he was "innocently" lying about. That you would have to dig is the smaller issue. That he would hide something he knew you wouldn't find innocent is the bigger issue. Good luck.
41101
What do you do? Absolutely nothing. Not a good idea to do anything about it. You could get your a$$ kicked or worse than that, lose your best friend. Will it be worth it? Find a boyfriend of your own.
80030
I know how you feel.  I am in a long distance relationship myself and my boyfriend's best friend is a woman.  If you really love your boyfriend then you have to trust him.  Trust is the most important thing you can have in a relationship.  You built up a trust with him while you were together now you have to build up a long distance trust.  It is very hard to do but you can get through it.  If he assures you he won't cheat and if he hasn't shown any signs of cheating then don't worry.  It will get easier with time.
525853
i think you should tell your friend cos if you'll are true friends she will know that you are doing this in her best interest i am saying this because my best friends boyfriend was doing the exact same thing to her and i told my friend that she needs to put her foot down and confront her boyfriend cos if he truly loved her he wouldn't treat her that way.  it's harsh but sometimes you have to be firm with the people you really care about.
136881
You shouldn`t do that to the boyfriend because most likely he`ll be all hurt and that will be bad blood between the friends.\n\nBut that`s only if you don`t truly love his bestfriend.  If you do, then maybe you should go for who you love, given that you know for a fact that he loves you too.
387839
This will probably haunt you for the rest of your life if you don't come clean with your friend. Take her to a quiet place and just be honest with her. Remember friends should be able to tell friends everything! Of course you must expect her to be upset at first but if she is truly your best friend she should forgive you. Be honest. Tell her why it happened and why you are telling her the truth. This will also let her know what type of guy she is dating. \n\nI hope it works out for you.
206089
first be sure. if it's true find a new best friend and a girl friend. if she's cheated on you she'll cheat on him and he'll know how you felt. but don't give either one another chance.
961227
If hes your boyfriend and best friend then sit down and tell him that your a person who likes to keep thing discreet.
628687
If I found out they were dating behind my back, I would dump BOTH of them, not 1. Just to make the process more efficient! :)\n\nCheer up, sh..t happens, you know.\n\nGet a new best friend, and a get a new boyfriend, too.\nHarsh to say, but this may be the only clean way out of this mess. \n\nDon't torture yourself... but defend yourself, as much as you can. Don't let your self-esteem go down beause of the two pigeons.
734820
the fault is with both of them definitely. but the fault is mostly with your best friend.\n\ncome on! if she was your "best friend" she would Not hit on him. by doing that, she has absolutely no respect for you. if she can do it once, she can do it again. this might not be even the first time. she obviously doesn't treat you as her best friend or she is just too selfish to have anyone in her life apart from herself. you deserve a better friend than her.\n\nand john is definitely at fault too. he was supposed to be with you but he cheated on you with your Best Friend!! he should have some self control. even if he wanted to hook up with your best friend in the first place, he should have the decency to tell you that it is over between the both of you. this is not the kind of guy you would want to spend your time with. the fact that he can cheat on you in your bed speaks volumes of the kind of degenerate person he is.\n\nyou should just shut them out of your life.
602894
Are you sure that your girlfriend knows about it? and is she "the one"? I am pretty sure she isn't otherwise you would've thought twice before you cheated on her. So if she's not the one, then I guess you could just let it go, I am not saying it's easy. And don't beat yourself, you made a mistake and you should recognize it in front of her, and you can also talk to her. But don't say to her that she cheated on you first; because that's not how you solve a problem, you would just put salt in the wound. Instead, just talk about it to her and tell her how you feel, if you want to be with her forever, than you should definitely clear this up now, if you're just having a fling that's another story. But whatever you do be honest, because once some one loses trust in you, it is extermely hard to come back and trust you. \nAs far as your friend...Well, if he REALLY was your true friend than he should've never been so cheap and told on you, a friend like this is worthless. If i were you, I would dump the friend before dumping my girlfriend, he obviously doesn't care about your feelings and is selfish.\nGood luck, and whatever it is, know that sooner or later this will fix itself and it'll be a lough years down the road, you sound pretty young and believe me even if you thought that your current gf is the "perfect" woman, God has ways to amazed you later in life. But one last thing, cheating is never good. And i am sure that you don't feel so good about it youself, so try not to do it again; you'll regret.
749261
You should believe ur best friend if you've known him for a long time and if you trust him more. Analyze on who told more lies. I think she's just a jealous girl who wants to ruin what you have but don't let her do that. Soo I hope I helped.
377509
Tell only your true friend that you know wont get you in trouble by telling them. if you already dont trust them then you shouldnt tell those friends. if you plan on continueing the relationship with this boy then you are going to need there help in this situation but if you dont have a chance of breaking him up with his girlfriend then you need to keep it to yourself so no one finds out and you get a bad name.
805743
I  don't think  it's  so much about what YOU do,  as about what  this  friend of yours  is  doing,  and what  your boyfriend is doing.    If she is openly enticing him, and he is not making any  attempt to  hide the fact that he's responding to it,  I'd suggest   that neither one of  them cares about you as much as you thought they did, in which  case  the smart thing might be to let them have each other and good riddance.     Better to know now if your boyfriend has a roving eye,  than find it  out after he has become your husband.  And better to find out now  that  your "friend"  is disloyal,  so you can dump her and get one who is.