Is it ever okay to get a divorce in the eyes of God?
112429
Although I am answering from a Catholic perspective, the theology is fairly universal.\n\nJesus forbade divorce, except in cases of adultery. However, a divorce also implies that there was a marriage. This tends to be the angle that the Catholic church approaches the breakdown of a legal marriage, and that is, "was it even a marriage?"\n\nMarriage is, as Jesus puts it, "when two become one flesh", people whom God himself has "joined together." A sacramental moment of that magnitude requires that people enter it with full consent, and that consent requires both the personal maturity to give that consent as well as having all the information needed to make that consent. \n\nTake abuse, for instance - abuse implies a kind of marital fraud. Nobody would knowingly start dating someone who they knew was going to beat them, right? An abusive person is always going to put their best foot forward at first and hide that aspect of themselves until a time when they feel safe to let it out. This is a fraud - and if a person marries such a person, they aren't doing it with that full consent of the will necessary for a marriage to truly exist.\n\nSo a civil divorce may not always be a wrong thing to do, if it really is more of an annulment of a marriage that never truly was.\n\nAlso - the other thing to keep in mind, is that what Jesus specifically condemned was divorce and remarriage, not divorce alone. So even if the marriage was valid in the eyes of God - i.e. abuse, lies, fraud, alcoholism weren't part of the breakdown, it was a valid marriage - it is only remarriage that he's actually condemned.\n\nAn aside: marriage was not created by the state. It long predates the state. Marriage was deeded to the state by religion...
233898
Hey I don't really have advice for you as you know from answering my question I have marital problems. BUT.... We did get this book called Rekindling the Romance by a husband and wife team Dennis and Barbara Rainy. It's a real eye opener it is Christian based and I 100% am a believer that the only way to be truly happy in all areas of your lfe is to live by the Bible. Do what it says. Go to church live your life for God. The problem my hubby and I had with this book is how to rekindle something that was never there? I was or I think in love with him at one time but he was always an a** and finally I just decided to deal with now he's different and he regrets everything he has done. Maybe you can help with this one. How do I get over the past? I know I need to get my life right with God that would help 100%. But anyways I am rambling Hope this helps. The link I am gonna leave is the website where you can get this book Click on online store and do a search for the title. I also encourage you check out the info they have I don't know where you live but you should see if they have their radio station near you it really helps me!
3861
No I dont but the bible says a man and a woman are to leave thier families and become one with thier spouse. Always put him before any others and honor your marridge. Do not let anyone put preasure on your maridge and they had thier chance when you got married to speak or forever hold thier peace,,,perhaps you could remind them of that .....
226214
The Catholic Church does in fact "frown" on divorce.  However, you can pretty much commit just about any sin, pay a fee (some are heavier than others) and be reinstated in the church.
59204
The New Testament was not meant to be a new law book for us to be put under after being freed from the burden of the old law book. Most Christians say unless your spouse commits adultery, you're stuck with them. If they're an ax murderer, a gang banger, satanic high priest, or as I read on this site recently, a soon to be trans-sexual, thats too bad. As long as they haven't cheated on you. Didn't Jesus rebuke the pharisees on several occasions for putting the written code above love and compassion? And didn't Paul say that God called His children to live in peace? Didn't the Lord command us to judge rightly?\n\nLegally speaking, in God's eyes, there is no such thing as divorce. In fact, in His eyes your spouse isn't the first person you walk down the aisle with, it is the first person you sleep with. Study it for yourself in the Old Testament. By this standard I wonder how many of us are "legally" married.\n\nIn the Old Testament(I forgot exactly where) there was a mass divorce because a lot of the Israelites married pagan women against God's express prohibition against it. These women did not commit adultery and God still hated divorce, but this mass divorce was a neccessary evil. Also, in the Law, the remedy for an unfaithful spouse was stoning not divorce. \n\nChristians are using the Bible as a rule book and completely missing the deep and beautiful spiritual truths it contains just like the Jews did with the Torah. They're reading it with carnal rather than spiritual eyes. God's marriage laws were meant to protect the innocent.\n\nThat all being said, remember that God does hate divorce and so should you.\n\nWalk in LOVE not law.
205080
if you divorce, you are killing your two kids. remember that marriage was first instituted by God the Almighty and you are trying to break that institution? remeber also that only marital infidelity is the only reason allowed for divorce ( not man made law). you are only multiplying social problems
500296
i think the bible was written in and for different times, if you didn't get divorced just for kicks its a ridiculous idea that you should live the rest of  your life alone becaues anyone or anything says you should. i think being a good person should be good enough, do what you feel is right.
967088
Hey, you have my name!  J/K, glad to see another believer has my name at least.  My thoughts and prayers for you are that you truly seek God's face during this time.  Getting married will not solve your fiance's situation.  In fact, it might compound it with the newness of marriage and everything sexual involved with it.  I commend him for his want to overcome his situation, and I truly believe he needs to seek Godly counseling through the pastor or another strong believer with experience in these areas.  You, also, should attend counseling.  Don't let co-dependency conform you to "accepting" his addiction because your love is all powerful.  It can happen and that I believe is not God's will.  We should love God first, and our spouse second.  In this be on your face seeking God's will for your life.  Another thing for your fiance to keep in mind is that he doesn't have to prove anything to God, God knows every hair on our heads, I would think he knows what is in the depths of each of our hearts too.  He really has to live a different life daily and dissociate himself from everything to date that has caused his situation.  Counseling, support and accountability are what he needs big time.  Prayers and love =)
267915
I don't think there is any easy way to adjust and go through a divorce without some questions, hurt, anger and thinking you are a total failure for not being able to save a marriage. Just pray a lot....Nicole
287923
If youve made a marriage commitment you have no excuse to dishonor it.\n\nOtherwise, look into the reasons for the failure. Its important to overlook trivial things. You will have trials in any love relationship. If you cant take it now, how will you handle the really bad? \nHow do you know it is doomed to be a waste? My guess is youre guessing yourself. Or that youve already decided. I seriously encourage you to inquire of God rather than us here who have so little knowledge compared to the Most High.\n\nPrayer is your most valuable tool. Use it. \n***************************\nTo therealdeal deal below. Divorce is wrong always. God only permits it in severe situations and even then it is not pleasing to Him. After all He puts up with us and takes us back each time we betray Him.\n\nMatthew \n31"It has been said, 'Anyone who divorces his wife must give her a certificate of divorce.'[f] 32But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, causes her to become an adulteress, and anyone who marries the divorced woman commits adultery.\n\nMatthew 19\nDivorce \n 1When Jesus had finished saying these things, he left Galilee and went into the region of Judea to the other side of the Jordan. 2Large crowds followed him, and he healed them there. \n 3Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?" \n\n 4"Haven't you read," he replied, "that at the beginning the Creator 'made them male and female,'[a] 5and said, 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh'[b]? 6So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate." \n\n 7"Why then," they asked, "did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?" \n\n 8Jesus replied, "Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. 9I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery." \n\n 10The disciples said to him, "If this is the situation between a husband and wife, it is better not to marry." \n\n 11Jesus replied, "Not everyone can accept this word, but only those to whom it has been given. 12For some are eunuchs because they were born that way; others were made that way by men; and others have renounced marriage[c]because of the kingdom of heaven. The one who can accept this should accept it."
360796
My preacher once told me that you are not obligated by God to stay in a relationship that is harmful to you.  He also said God forgives those who divorce due to adultery and that adultery is not limited to a betrayal of a physical nature but can also be a betrayal of the heart, etc.  Abuse is betrayal.  My opinion, it would probably be more harmful for the child to grow up with that type of role model than for the child to be removed from the situation. I will also pray for you.
1099111
If the person has truly found Jesus and has repented of that unfortunate decision there is forgiveness and a new life in Christ. Then if that person is honest with the person they are going to marry I would see no problem in that.
993515
As long as you're sincerely trying, it's okay -- but it's best to regularly see some sort of qualified spiritual advisor or director.  \n\nThat way, it's much less likely that you'll talk yourself into thinking you have a relationship with God when you really don't, or if your relationship with Him isn't what it should be.
949109
I can't speak from the Muslim religous aspect but can tell you I have a female Christian friend married to a Muslim.  Their relationship & marriage was fantastic at first but once their daughter was born things changed.  His religion took presidence.  He sent his daughter overseas to be raised by his family & their beliefs and he refuses to allow my friend to go to church anymore.  Not to say, this is what would happen if you were to marry this man.\n\nNext, I am sure you have prayed on this long and hard.  If you are finding more discomfort, worry, fear or confusion in marrying this person than the Holy Spirit is probably warning you not to.  God is a God of order.  He has not given you the spirit of fear but of love, of power and of a sound mind.\n\nI would recommend getting into the concordance of your Bible and look up marriage and divorce to be sure you line up all of your questions, feelings & decisions to what the word says.  Read all the scripture from the Old & New Testament.  Write the ones down that jump off the page and meditate on them.  Fast if you feel you are not finding the direction you should take.\n\nYou can use an online website http://www.crosswalk.com to do some of your research if a Bible isn't handy.\n\nRemember one thing, no one can tell you the path you should choose and they don't know how God is leading you.  This is something only you can figure out.  Close your mind off to all worldly views and seek after God for His decision in your life.\n\nI will say from everything I've read on the subject, as a Christian, you would not be in sin.  But I think you would be opening doors to a very difficult life in comparison to waiting on God to bring you a Christian man.\n\nDivorce is not an option - it never is.  So marrying this person no matter what happens until death do you part will be a vow you make with God.  Be sure you are truly ready to make this kind of committment before going any further. \n\nKeep in mind, someone who believes in a god other than the one we know is not led by a Holy & loving God.  Therefore, you end up joining together as one with someone who is being led by something else.  Ultimately, their decisions and mind are not being formed by the living word, the Holy Spirit and our heavenly Father.  If he doesn't have a relationship with Jesus Christ than you are not going down the same path.\n\nI realize you must love this man very much or the question you pose wouldn't be so heart wrenching.  I pray you find your way and the life ahead is filled with much love, peace & joy.\n\nI am happy to chat more if you want to write.
271593
This depends on what religion you are talking about.  As a (conservative) Christian myself, I would say that one cannot necessarily help their feelings, but they must learn to control them.  To ACT on your love for this married woman would be a sin.  The basis of this is that God created one man and one woman to be together forever; they screwed it up when they fell into sin, so no one can have the perfect marriage anymore, thus divorce exists.  But we also hold the belief that God has a plan for everyone, and this is also true for you, so if you are meant to be with this woman it will happen, but not right now.  Just be patient.
837381
Should they divorce and remarry their extramarital lovers?  I don't know.  It's not for me to judge another person's life or marriage.  I feel that the problem doesn't begin with the affair; the problem begins with whether or not they should've married one another or not.  It's a step "not to be taken lightly", and those aren't just pretty words that the preacher says at the wedding.  He really, really means just that.  Are they really ready for a lifetime of putting another person ahead of themselves?  I doubt it.  \n\nThe man and woman are both at fault...the other woman and her marriage are beside the point.  We're concerned mainly with this marriage between the husband and wife you speak of, right?  The woman, being Christian, shold be striving to find focus and balance in her own life, knowing herself and where she stands, knowing her own shortcomings, and bravely turning around to face her demons.  Unless you have a good foundation (one's self) anything you build outwardly will just crumble.  So she needs to take a long hard look in the mirror and see that she is not filling out her potential.\n\nThe man, regardless of his religious beliefs, still knows right from wrong.  His wife, haranguing nag though she may be, is still his wife and deserves his honesty and a measure of respect.  If for no other reason than to appease his own conscience that he has done all he can do.  She needs to be given the opportunity to change.  He needed to tell her that her behaviour is making him so unhappy and lonely that he wants to find another woman to take her place.  We all want and need the close companionship of another special person as we go through life.  It is unfair of her to deny this to him.  If she truly cannot offer that to him, it is her responsibility to let him go.  Same goes for her, if the husband had been maltreating her.\n\nPeople are imperfect.  If we base our marriages on the expectation that the other person will always behave honourably and kindly and selflessly, we're in for a shock.  Our spouses will screw up.  WE will screw up.  If you don't make allowances for the frailty of human nature, and prepare yourselves for the eventuality of needing to forgive them for their mistakes, you're stacking the deck against yourselves.
664274
I am reminded of the old Nazareth song.\n\nLove Hurts....\n\nTo answer your questons, yes our society has changed the laws to "fit" their emotions.  \n\nHere's a way to look at it from a church point of view.\nDivorce is sin in God's eyes, when you sin can God forgive you?  Saul of Tarsus wrote most of the New Testament.  The Blood line of Jesus consists of\n\n1. Murderer (David)\n2  Harlot  (Rahab)\n3. Exibitionist (Bathsheba)\n\nYou see where this goes?  God takes the bad and makes it good.  And I'm not even a super religious person!\n\nYes love can conquer all, if you and your partner will allow it to.