If you have messed around with a married man, should you tell his wife?
109638
Wow, some of the people that anwered this question, seems to be very judgmental! I mean in a perfect world nobody should cheat on anybody or willingly engage in an affair. However; in real life people make REALLy bad choices. This is all part of life. I hope you learned something from this. It does sound like you feel guilty. Someone who dosn't feel guilty would'nt give a rat's a** about the wife. Telling the wife is wrong!!! If you feel guilty, (as you should) you need to deal with it! Don't ease your guilt by hurting this woman more then you have.  \n\nThis is their problem, not yours. You really need to stay out of their marriage.\n\nTake some advice from someone who has proberly made every mistake known to mankind...Stay away from him and never speak to the wife. \n\nGood luck and this really doesn't make you a "bad" person. It just means you need to work on self control.
240952
If it were me (which it's not) I would keep my mouth shut.  But you just have to think about what you would do if you were in her shoes.  Would you want someone to tell you or what?  Women generally have a "gut feeling" when their man has been cheating, so it's possible that she already knows and just doesn't want to admit it to herself.  Talking to him is definantly a good idea.  But why would he cheat and then ask her to move with him.  Maybe you can plant a guilt trip on him and he'll tell her.  But I think it's his place to spill the beans!  Good Luck!
446494
I was the other woman, but didn't know it at the time. When I found out, I immediately ended the relationship as not to destroy a family. I didn't tell his wife, but told him that he should. Of course, he didn't. \n\nI just wouldn't want that thought on my mind, that I had been the cause of ending a marriage if it ever came to be  and I definately wouldn't have wanted it to happen to me if I were married.  No person deserves that kind of hurt.
43078
Well it depends on if you are...repentant about the mistake you made.  if you are, yes. you should. he'll find out someday and it's better to come from you with a real face of repentance than for him to find out and ruin your relationship because of it. \nIf you aren't repentant and you could care less if your b/f knew, then tell him and break up with him.  'cause if you 'cheated' on him, whats the point in being HIS     friend?
924221
i am sorry i do not know the answer to this question i can only speak for my self i would tell a woman that i loved her unless i truly did these are not just word of course i would tell her if i did because i would want her to know it but more then anything i would want to show it and if you truly love someone you WILL NOT CHEAT on them you couldn't even think about being with someone else or should i say i couldn't but maybe he wants you to i can only speak for my self in a matter like this i have always heard once a cheater always a cheat i wish you the best in life and a life full of Happiness.
1020942
I'd tell him I like him then ask how his wife is.  Seriously though, ask him why he's lying about himself on the internet.  Saying he is married and looking is not going to get him anywhere.  Or hey it could have been a mistake!
291578
tell him you have a headache.  That seems to be a tried and true formula.  Unless you're talking about your husband having sex with someone else, in which case I think you should let him have his fun.
928982
no I wouldn't confront her. I would talk to my husband instead. I don't have a relationship with the girl. But I'll make sure that she knows the guy she is having sex with, is married. \n\nHave you heard about the saying that goes "the sweetest revenge to a cheating husband is to give  him to his mistress?"
21348
If your husband kissed another woman what would you think.  You have already cheated yourself since you got to that point.  Now is the time to feel guilty.
408395
That's quite a situation you have going there...\n\nSeems like from the way this Question is phrased that you let go of that shock, and the ethical, cultural, and social thinking the moment you decided to have sex with her..(you shouldn't have let your penis guide you) \n\nYou shouldn't have had sex with your sister-in-law, but she didn't FORCE you to, you chose to. BAD CHOICE..but still it was your choice, your choice to keep the sister-in-laws behavior away from your wife, your choice to follow up with your sister-in-laws feelings for you, and your choice to sleep with her...(You have to be aware that you ARE at fault here)\n\nMisinforming your wife about what?..Unless you just phrased this whole question funny and you DIDN'T have sex with your sister-in-law..  then how can she be misinforming your wife?\n\nIf I was your wife? I would want to hear that you were drugged and incapacitated to make your own descisions in order for this to happen and NOT be your fault, otherwise I would probably be incredibly hurt, and unforgiving at first, and I wouldn't trust you anymore that for certain.. so if I wanted to save the marriage, I would go to counceling with you and try to work it out...but I definately would never let you have any alone time with my sister again!!!!!\n\nAND MOST IMPORTANT.. Tell your wife Before her sister does... Something this bad in your marriage should be told by you...
792025
If they would be telling their husband or BF for no reason other than to hurt them, or to clear their own conscience at their husband or BF's expense, then I would think that it would be better if they took their secret to the grave.  \n\nHaving been in this situation once myself, not a happy memory I assure you, I remember wondering WHY she had told me?  The truth of the matter was that she was using my feelings as little more than,,, toilet paper is a good analogy, to cleanse herself regardless of what effect it had on me.  \n\nIt had been, what she termed a physical experience, that had happened long before she told me and there was no chance of her ever seeing the guy again but she insisted that she tell me in excruciating detail about her fling and then afterwards declared that "it was a big load off her mind".  I'm sure it was but she had just dumped that load on me with no regard for my feelings.  \n\nWhen I told her that I was upset about it she said that it was over and I should just deal with it because, after all it was "only f*cking".  I think her telling me that, as much as anything else, is what killed our relationship,,,and yes, even after all these years I must admit to still being bitter.  \n\nThe funny thing about it is that I was probably as upset, perhaps even more so, about her using me as an emotional tampon as I was about the fling.\n\nBetter to keep the secret if you honestly care about him.
482923
go to him and say sorry .. what if later on he shows up the same way u did and does the same to ur wife ?
567646
Yes, you should feel guilty. No, you should never tell your spouse. It will cause a lot of pain. You will feel better not carrying a secret, but your spouse will know that you can't be trusted, and it could destroy them. If you tell your spouse, it could be the end of your marriage. Certainly, it will be the end of your marriage as you now know it. Your partner's innocence will be lost, and your relationshiop will never be the same. You probably already feel something had changed, or you wouldn't be on Yahoo! Answers spilling your guts. This is something you will have to live with. What kind of spouse is going out getting drunk at parties anyway? Your only hope is to give your life to Jesus, and be forgiven for your sins. Then you can start a new life and maybe get past this. Go to this link http://www.jesus-is-lord.com/save.htm Take your spouse to church and get yourself together.\n\nI sincerely hope that this has, at least, been a wake-up call to you that you need to change your lifestyle.
717867
You gotta come out and tell her.  But before you do, consider what you're risking.  Is she worth losing just cause you want to have sex with others?  \n\nYour wife deserves care and protection.  She entered into marriage expecting you to love her, forsaking all others.  By engaging in risky behavior, you're exposing her not only to heartache, but potentially deadly diseases too.
291448
Its never okay to deal with a married man EVER. It doesn't matter if him and his wife are having troubles or not. How would you feel if you were married and then some other girl was messing with your man, you would be pissed. So you gotta think about how you are affecting other peoples lives by going with a married man. My best advice to you, quit seeing a married man, the chances are that he just tells you he is divorcing his wife to have you whenever he wants you.
379820
If you end it she will tell your wife. So you loose any way. So it is up to you.
949683
I was actually in this situation. I told my sister that I saw her husband kissing a girl in his work place. She called me a liar and didn't speak to me for a year. She called me to come and get her and her son. She was pregnant and he had run off to California with the same girl I saw him with. So if this person were to tell his sister, he needs to be prepared to take some punishment.