can anyone give me advise on how to explain  to a 3 year old about people passing away?
116626
tell her that her paw-paw is in a better place (like in heaven) and tell her that the reason he died is because he was so special, God wanted him in heaven with him. I think this would work if u believe in heaven
610683
I'm sorry for your loss, many Holidays must be very difficult for you. If you don't feel this is too strange , when you go to visit her on Mothers Day bring a blanket with you and just sit there for a while. My Dad died when I was 13 months old, so when I need to feel closer to him, I take a warm summer day {Hopefully Mothers Day will be warm} a blanket, maybe a book or photo album and visit. Its amazing how peaceful it might make you feel. I'm sure she loved you very much and I'm very sorry your still so sad. I hope the rest of your family is a support to you. Take care and best of everything to you.
977907
Hi hon!\nThis happened to a friend of mine also.  He was 19, had cancer.  Was on some serious medication, but was getting by.  Then we all stopped hearing from him.  Visited his house, but his mom said he had died.  But his shoes were in the hallway.\nSo we all grieved, and moved on.  \nYears later he showed up on one of my friends doorstep.  His mom had told all his friends that he had died.  What a bitch.\nMaybe he didn't want people to see him like that.  Maybe his mom thought his friends would stress him out.  I don't know.  All I do know is we aren't friends with him anymore, we wish him well, but what a terrible thing to do to your "friends".\nSo I shared a little something with you there didn't I?  Take it for what it is, an experience.  Perhaps you aren't getting the whole story either!\nHave a great week...
206140
I had lost alot of young (between the ages of 20-26) and i had lost an Uncles that was 20 in December of 2003 in a car accident traceling from Wisconsin to Wyoming to work. I can tell you, tell her your sorry and to always remember the good times. It really helped when everyone of my friends just sat and talked about the good times we had partying and stuff. It will take her time, i am still sad and not the same. Its a very hard thing to deal with. Another thing is, sometimes i just wanted space and noone around, and my friends thought i was being rude but thats just how i felt..Hope it helps u out.
1042983
~~so very sorry to hear of your loss.   there is NOTHING harder than loosing a child.  I lost a child, not to sids, but my ex beat me and i lost my daughter.  people tell you things like, it will get easier with time, but it has been more than 20 years and i still think about my daughter.  if you are looking for a support system, or need someone to chat with about your child or your loss or your fears, click on my avatar and add me to your messenger, i'm a good listener.~~
489354
You can start your letter by telling him that you read in the paper about his mother. Give him your condolences, and then tell him how time had taken your paths away. And just share with him a little of how you are now, and maybe ask him how he's doing? And I'm sure he would be happy to hear from you. Hope this works.
653283
I hope you know your friend well.  Some of us appreciate a friend who is there without being asked.  Some of us prefer to be left alone.\n\nDon't give me that pap about his being in a better place or that he is an angel now.  That doesn't help.  (Been there...)\n\nIt would be nice if three months down the road someone called just to talk.  Don't ask how am I doing...just talk.  Ask if I want to go out for a bite to eat.  Don't bring up the loss unless I start talking about it.  Don't tell me, "You'll feel better if you talk about it."  You don't have a clue.\n\nNo one can know how a mother feels when she loses a child, so don't act like a TV educated psychologist.  Just be there.
330875
Since you're at a loss for words, it appears you are attending to give your condolences to a friend.  Funerals in and of themselves serve as a last chance to say goodbye to someone we've lost on this earth and show support and concern for those who've been left behind during their loss.  To know that you're there is usually the kindest gesture you can make to those family members and if you're uncertain as to what to say it's best to keep it simple.  Offer your condolences, your assistance if they should need it and just let the moment occur.  I've learned, however, that a card or a brief note sent a couple of weeks afterwards will mean much more than you know as this is the most difficult time of adjustment after all the arrangements have been made and visits are over.  Just feel good that you're going, God will handle the rest.  You're a blessing.
565229
in his/her grief, your friend would tend to tell stories about his/her mother. just listen to him/her talk. be patient.
1177393
Lexy,\nI am deeply sorry for your loss, however, remember you son is now in a better place and is watching over his mother.  Read Sylvia Brown's "Life on the Other Side".  I have had too many close experiences with death and this has really helped me understand what is to happen next.  Our bodies will terminate, however we will not.\n\nNate
337635
I was 40 when my mom died. Today I'm 46 and still every once in a while I become very sad and even cry on occasion.  You were only 8 and you are now only 15.  The point I am trying to make is that the death of someone very close to us is difficult no matter our age at the time. But when you are a child you really don't understand all that is happening. Now as you mature and approach your adult life there are probably some issues about your grandfather and/or his death that were unresolved.  When you were 8 you were not prepared to deal with them.  Now you are able to and so your mind is letting them come up again. Our minds are strange things sometimes at night they dream things that scare the hell out of us. At other times they protect us from the things that really will hurt us.  I know that this is troubling for you and feel you need professional help to deal with it. Like others before me, I suggest you seek that help. Your parents and your doctor are good places to start.\n\nHope this helps you and Good Luck!
1086058
there is no word. Agree with other posters - devastation-incredible sadness, emptiness. No parent should survive their child. \n\nOur son was killed in Feb '81 (automobile accident--driving too fast and with a few beers in him - he was clocked by a cop doing 90 mph (we got the traffic ticket in the mail day after we buried him)) - and not a day goes by that we do not think of him (even though we have been blesssed with 3 other children and grandchildren).  \n\nHis birthday is coming up (coincidentally it is the same date as our youngest and they are mirror images - we called them our bookends. The 2 in the middle are blond/blue eye. The 'bookends' are dark hair, tall....) . My husband and I will be putting up his 'birthday' flower bouquet in the next few days....they stay there until the fall, then we do a Halloween theme...and so it goes on thru the year. \n\nTo top it off, we buried him on Father's DAy those many years ago.\n\nWe wonder what he would be doing today. How many children, would he still be an artist at heart?  We pray and have Faith that he is all of that and more - because God has made it so. Only our Faith and love of family and friends has carried us thru - Now we can all sit around a table (took a while) to laugh and wonder "how many pancakes" (we have pancake breakfast parties every so often just the family) he would have had. \n\nSometimes, even after alllll these years, we still buy a postcard for him, when we travel...then realize we have one to many!  \n\nThere is sadness but there is joy.  He is in a better place - we BELIEVE this because we have to!  Otherwise too hard to deal with.
826931
Try this book, "What's Happening to Me?"\nhttp://www.amazon.com/gp/product/customer-reviews/0818403128/ref=cm_cr_dp_pt/103-9489270-5950207?ie=UTF8&n=283155&s=books\n\nI remember this book from when I was young, it was the best!  I learned a lot from this book, and it's very truthful while not being too difficult to understand for younger kids.
163756
First I'd like to express my condolences for your family's loss. People deal with grief in different ways, especially children who may not know exactly how to express how they're feeling. I think it would be beneficial to you and your kids to get some grief counseling to help you all sort through your feelings during this tough time. It would be good to go as a family for support, but individual sessions could be beneficial as well.
656174
It depends on many things, I hope the info below will help to some degree, I lost my dad when I was 15 and wish I had this info.
948779
Dear Friend - Of course you must tell him you are sorry, but please do more, offer to spend time with him and with his teenagers doing things to help move on.  Offer to drive the kids places.  Offer to be there and to listen when he needs to talk.  \n\nOne thing so many people do is after the funeral they just disappear and they treat you like you have cancer or death is catching or they tell you just to move on, time will heal, etc. and never let you TALK.  Whew!!!!\n\nSorry, got excited.  Good luck.  GBU
186758
I had a friend die 6 months ago, she was  1 year younger than me. After she passed it made me realize that just because you are in you early 20's doesn't mean your going to make it out of your 20's. I have 2 children, so it really made me think about them more and how important it is for me to be here for them.