Is a threesome with my husband a good idea?
105377
The fact that you're second guessing it means no.\n\nThreesomes are something that need to be well thoughout with serious parameters that both people are ready to adhere to.  \n\nI've met people who did it, and it really helped their sex life.  But I've met even MORE people where it ruined it. Most of those people aren't even together any longer.\n\nThe thing you just have to ask yourself is, are you doing this just for him?  If you are, then, it's a bad idea.  Secondly, ask yourself if your sex life is in trouble.  Most people who successfully have threesomes already have a good sex life.  If you're sex life has problems, then this is not the way to solve it!\n\nHowever, if you're both for it, then it's definitely something to give a big go!  Just make sure you make rules that you both MUST follow.
946631
It sounds to me like the fantasy is much better than the reality is going to be for him.  As an experienced swinger I can tell you that it only works if both members of the couple have an equal say in the matter.\n\nAlso,  straight-up, contrary to popular belief, women usually have more say-so over who you swing with as a couple since men's "strike-zones" are usually a bit wider than women's.  Otherwise it's easier for a man to find a woman he is attracted to than for a woman to find a man she is attracted to.  So he'll be disappointed if he thinks it's any other way.  Also, him choosing the couple doesn't mean the couple will choose you two.  There are four people involved that all have to be attracted to the opposite member and comfortable with them for it to happen.\n\nAlso, although more men than women first suggest swinging, women seem to get the most out of it since it really liberates them sexually and helps them get over allot of the Western society guilt associated with sex and being a sexual person.\n\nThis is a disaster waiting to happen.  If what you say is the case he is not emotionally equipped to handle you having a good time with another man.  Watching you have a great time has to be as exciting to him as him having a great time.  That is how it works.  I'll tell you right out that my wife is my favorite pornstar.  :-)\n\nThe big thing is that experienced couples will pick-up on your situation really quick.  After awhile you get drama-radar and can usually sense when all isn't right with a couple.\n\nWhy would someone want to involve others in their sex life?  For us it was we had a great marriage and great sex already.  We were secure in each other and our relationship.  We also had fantasies that required more than two people to fulfill.  It was evolution of our relationship.  And our relationship is even better now.  Our communication is on a level I never thought possible, and we really know why we are together, and it's not just for sex.  It's because we really love everything else about each other.\n\nIf you both are not on the same page about, then you shouldn't do it.  As a couple, in swinging or not, if something doesn't work for either of you, than it doesn't work for both of you.  If it benefits the individual it also has to benefit the couple.  If you don't want to do it than he should accept that.  That is what being a couple is all about.\n\nIf you want some good, honest, open discussion about swinging from both newbies and veterans alike, check out The Swingers Board (link below).  You'll find lots of good information about everything you mentioned in your question.
1085031
est relationships are partnerships of two.  Heck, it's hard at times to make a relationship between two people work.  Adding another person (in whatever aspect) will complicate things.  It's your call I guess, but actions have consequences. I say no if you really value what you and your man has.  You might be ok with it and he might be ok with it, but what about that other woman.  Usually when people try threesomes, somebody usually ends out in the cold….  And things get unpleasant.
586851
OK...all the answers have a good point....but here is another side of the coin...First off, Did he say you needed to be with the other girl.????\nI have been in a couple of threesomes myself and the ladies where both straight...Now another point....think about maybe having a threesome with him and another man..both guys for your pleasure...See what he says about that....If you go to him with this idea.....Hey you want to have a threesome...OK....you and I and another man....If he is really a player or a swinger he will say OK..or he will forget about the whole thing.\n\nNow on the issue of needing sex....I am 41 years old...I grave sex all the time..I can never get enough sex...Is it a medical problem......HELL NO....It is a guy problem.Tell me of any guy that does not think of sex all the time..I will show you a gay man...\n\nThe issue of not being able to leave him bothers me...Why you say.????\nWe all have the right as being american to choose our paths in life...If his path is not going in the direction of your path..then hun it is time to cut bait...\nI am not sure of your age or your lifestyle.....I just wish more people would think of themselfs in times like this and make a move to better them selfs.it is not like it would involve anything other then your future.....Think about it....\nIf you would like to chat about the swing lifestyle feel free to e-mail me at tanear1964@yahoo.com..I have been a swinger for 18 years....I may be able to give you a little more insite into the world....I hope this helps....
533227
It's a good question Helen. My wife and I are doing more sexually than ever before! Alot of it would depend on how much BOTH of you enjoy this new act! If you both enjoy it, you may want to take it another step. If one person wasn't so happy about it, I would sit down together and talk about it. Maybe you could try it one more time or maybe that is as far as it should go and not try it again!\nWe have done quite a few things, if you want to e-mail me I may be able to give you some more help.\nEither way, good luck!
463042
Well sounds like you need to decide for certain which is more important....your sexual fantasies or your relationship with your wife.It can't be healthy to  have 3 in a relationship where there should only be 2. And you should talk to your wife about this too. Maybe it's time to get rid of the 3rd party. Also it would make me feel strange and not so loved to know that my man wants me to be with another man. Either way sounds like it's time to re-evaluate your situation. and sets your priorities in order.
1053337
If you were NOT doing this, I would think you were nuts! After 11 years, fantasy keeps things fresh. Go for it, keep it to yourself, and have a ball. There is NOTHING wrong with this, Anyone who says differently is either lying or have no idea of what they are talking about . We are not kids here! In fact, you might want to play some games with hubby...if he is a game player. If he is a square, missionary type, keep it to yourself. Good luck, and happy dreams!
614854
Hey, as long as you guys are communicating openly and honestly about it, and you are both comfortable with the situation, then go for it.  Nothing wrong with it at all.  Just make sure that you both talk over everything and that you still both trust and respect each other when it is done.  Set up boundaries and rules before hand and let him know a head of time what is on and off limits so there are no awkward situations.  If this is your first time, map out the way the night is going to go with the third person from start to finish.  Who is going to do what, touch what, where at, what position and so on so that nothing is in the way and no one is left out.  Tell him what you want out of this and have him tell you what he wants out of this. Maybe even talking about what you are planning on doing will lead to some hot discussions and lead to a great night of sex before you ever even invite someone into the bedroom!   Good luck with this!   Love, Angela
818179
Three is nothing wrong with a little kinky foreplay.  I do what my husband asks, and he likewise, to keep our marriage exciting.  I think you should tell your wife, ask her to play along with you - what have you got to lose?  If she loves you, she wants you to be happy in bed.  Thats the key to keeping yourself from asking the question  "SHould I cheat on my wife?"
618127
For two spouses?  You sound surprised to learn that TWO people can engage in sex.  Geez, what's been going on in your life, pal?
1150084
At this point I'd say bi-curious, if you tried it and liked it, then bi.  Be sure to discuss things with your husband first, you don't want him to be upset, or find out through someone else.  And if you do choose to be with one of your friends, make sure she knows that you are still married and are staying married, that it is a no strings kind of thing.  That way no one gets hurt.
1050615
Me nor my husband never go more than 3days w/out having sex. So on a weekly average let's say 2 or 3, But on a good week honey we can go evey night and maybe twice a night on some night's. We have a good sex life and that's great, exp. when ur married
460034
I personally have not had a threesome, but I know a couple...get this...They met because the husband was the "third" in the threesome with a couple. The wife left her ex for this guy the "third". So then, the new husband wanted to have a threesome with his wife and yet another guy. And she, again, left the second husband for the next guy. ICK!
128023
If being with another woman AND your husband is a fantasy of your then I say go ahead. If you are being told that you need to do this pr else I am leaving or whatever, then NO!\n\nEven if this is oyur fantasy you will need to very careful as you mentioned STD's, whackos and all the EMOTIONAL trauma this may cause. Finding the right third is the real issue, do not bring a stranger into your house.
443016
ask him what his fantasy is..most of the time they want a threesome with another woman..if thats his fantasy, then you're straight(no pun intended)
387313
My wife and I have an exceptionally happy marriage. We've been together for 15 years, and still love every moment we spend together.\n\nMy wife is bi-sexual, and I am straight, and for years she had fantasies about inviting other women, and other men and other couples into our bed, as did I.\n\nAt some point it became a part of our pillow talk, we talked to each other about our fantasies, and engaged in sharing fantasies as part of our lovemaking.\n\nAfter a few years of that we decided to invite a friend into our bed.\n\nIt was a disaster! We hadn't done any research at all on how to be successful, and foolishly thought all we had to do was enjoy ourselves.\n\nA few more years went by and we continued to share fantasies, and again the subject came up - needless to say we were more cautious this time, we actually found some swingers discussion boards, and became participants - asking questions, and learning how successful swingers did it.\n\nWe joined a couple of swingers match making sites and started to understand what we were looking for and how it matched with what others were looking for.\n\nWe found a great magazine about swinging (I'll put a link in the sources section), and read it cover to cover.\n\nWe looked online and found a swingers club in our area and decided to visit the club.\n\nWe went to the club and get so excited that we couldn't wait and ended up having semi-public sex with each other (which was one of her fantasies - she is very exhibitionistic).\n\nThen we went home and again had fantastic sex.\n\nWe went again the next weekend, and found a couple that looked fairly unthreatening and asked if we could sit down - they were very helpful in explaining all of the etiquette of the swingers lifestyle, and what the expectations were, so we sat with them all night and basically had them do a brain dump of everything they had learned in 25 years of being swingers.\n\nOne of the things we kept hearing was that we needed to set rules - which explained the disaster we experienced in our first attempt - no rules! We didn't know what was expected, there were guilt feelings and jealousy, and recriminations.\n\nWe sat down and developed a set of rules designed so that we would both know whet was okay, what made each of us uncomfortable, what was strictly off-limits, etc.\n\nWe discovered that getting ready to go to the club was so exciting that we almost didn't even need to go, the anticipation, the time we spent naked while bathing, grooming and getting ready, the conversations we had with each other while getting ready, watching her get her sexiest outfits on, and try things on for me, excited both of us so much we almost always had to make love before we even went to the club!\n\nAs we got more comfortable and confident (because of all the open conversation) our sex lives again improved, we couldn;t keep our hands off of each other, riding in the car became really hot, getting ready for work in the morning became really hot, getting ready for bed, going out to dinner, all of our daily activities became huge turn-ons because we were so hot for each other.\n\nWe would spend time talking about things we wanted to try, and watching attractive women walk past would cause secret smiles to cross our faces because we would both be wondering if that sexy soccer mom was really a closet, back scratching, climb-the-headboard s lut!\n\nOne night at the club, after months of playing with just one another, we met a married woman who followed us back to a room and joined us.\n\nIt was incredible! We both felt completely confident in our marriage and in our rules, and fulfilled a couple of our fantasies right then!\n\nWe met her and her husband for dinner a couple of nights later and immediately hit it off - the hardest part of swinging is finding a group of people that all like and respect each other, and find each other attractive!\n\nWe started having foursomes - extremely erotic and enjoyable, and became
325732
I SAY GO FOR IT,ITS NOTHING TO DO WITH ANYONE ELSE,IV BEEN MARRIED TWICE,SECOND TIME ROUND IS MUCH BETTER,FOR MY HUBBY IT WAS HIS FIRST TIME,IF YOU LOVE YOUR PARTNER ENOUGH THEN DO IT...