How do I tell me best friend that she is out of control?
111369
It's been my experience that people will do what they want to, no matter what you tell them. They think they have all the answers they need and know what's best for them. Even if you had lots of experience in this area, they'll still do what they want. Many will actually get angry with you for trying to stop their "happiness". I would just let her know that you love her and only want what's best, but you will back off and let her choose her own path, even if it means pain & rejection of her boyfriend. Let her know that you'll always be there for her if she needs a shoulder or an ear to listen. Leave the door of friendship open, because she's gonna need it. This is a train wreck, waiting to happen. You know it. I know it. Been there, done that...it bites! Sounds like she wants to get pregnant. I know a few young gals like her. They think having a baby will solve all their problems and make their fella stay with them forever. It often drives them away, leaving the gal with a baby and more problems that she's not ready to handle yet. It's a long downward spiral. You are a good friend. You see what could happen and you're trying to save her from herself. You can't. If you push too much, she'll just cut you out of her life, slamming the door of friendship in your face, with no way out for her when her world falls apart. And actually, birth control & condoms aren't 100%, as I'm sure you know. I have a 22 year old girl because of failed birth control. Unfortunately, I think you're just going to have to allow her the opportunity for experience to be her teacher. Just be there for her. <*)))><
341975
Well, what I do when my friends do this to me, I let them know it. My ULTIMATE best friend in the world has done this to me, many times. Basically, all I do is tell her that I'm kind of upset how we seem like we are drifting apart, then I comfort her by saying that if something is bugging her she can tell me. You have to be the one  to do something, she won't realize that she is hurting you. I wish you the best of luck.
622096
Tell her she's going down a path as a friend you can't follow.  She needs to stop, you know the reasons why, and when she refuses, and she will.  Find another friends before she drags you into trouble too.
888406
i wuld be real honest with her but also remember to be kind.it's alot harder to do then say i know.i am in a similar situation & it's never easy when it comes to ur friends.it culd be that ur friend is having a hard time & need sometime right now.she knows ur there & that's good.that's what friendship is.\ntake care,\nang w.
606747
Just tell her. She could control it if she tried.
1027416
Well... it sounds like there isn't anything you can do!!! If she wants to "dumb" for him, it's all up to her to relize it's time to get smart!!! She really isn't asking for your help in this because if she really wanted help, she would take your advise. Just be that ear for her. And if you feel like you don't want to be friends anymore, still be there, but keep her at a distance.
36111
i agree with SEMAJ.  if she is really a good friend then she'll listen to you.  tell her that in your opinion, her bf is trying to control her and you can see that.  and ask her if she wants to be controlled by him.  tell her that you dont have any intention to ruin her relationship but you are just trying to warn her and you are being a good friend.  you dont want her to get hurt someday so the if the bf is controlling her and its just ok for her dont feel bad.  she'll realize it and tell her no matter what you'll be there for her.
748555
You cant be honest with someone who cant be awake to what her actions have caused!!\n\nAll actions have consequences is one u can say!! She isnt a child, she needs to face up to what she has done.. you sugar coating it wont help hun!!\nA true friend will tell her how it is then be there for her regardless of how things go down!!\nFriends have to beable to be honest!! If she cant handle it then she is a bigger idiot than i first thought!~!\n\nGood luck!
569767
ha, she wouldn't be my best friend anymore! yeah, just tell her your mad. if she's your bff, she'll know better than to keep it up. she should pick u over the guy, and if she doesn't, shes no friend. good luck!
493921
tell her that u don't want to be friends with her anymore. u don't want a friend that jokes around too much and goes to far and threatens to beat u up and ur friend and does beat y'all up. tell her that a TRUE FRIEND doesn't do that and that a TRUE FRIEND is suppossed to respect others' feelings and not beat them up. u can tell ur counselor and or/ someone else that u really trust. GOOD LUCK!
1069446
To be open and give her your advise is better way.\nYou can make her understand that she made other people upset with her attitude this long. and what has she done can put her in trouble someday and maybe will make her friends stay back from her soon or latter.\nTry to open her mind about this, choose a sweet way and polite words to avoid irritating her. \n\nIf you do this way, means that you have change your friendship...to a better and quality one!!! coz this whats friends are for....\nGood Luck.
170477
Have your best friend talk to her friends parents. They can be the most helpful, the best thing to do is to have an intervention have everyone say how what she is doing is affecting them and hurting herself, then if all works out well she will want to get treatment if not the parents can get her help against her will. But she needs to get help, it is a dangerous disease to have. Her body will start to shut down slowly and she will end up very sick or dead.
331924
You have a problem here.  You need to tell her how you feel.  How much she hurts you and how it hurts you to see her abuse alcohol.  She had a drinking problem and needs help.  As long as you continue to spend time with her, she will hurt you.  In a minor way, you are an enabler for her because you do nothing to stop her.  Yes she has a self control problem.  If she doesn't listen to you or gets defensive about it, tell her that until she gets her act together, you just can't spend any more time with her.  Tell her that she embarasses you, injures you and hurts you deeply within.  Tell her that until she can give you the respect, consideration and friendship that you have been giveing her, you can't afford to spend the energy and emotion on a losing cause...that she is draining you emotionally and physically.  Otherwise, she will keep using you (that is what she is doing) and abusing you.  It is tough to do this and she may get mad and be verbally hostile to you, but it is for her own good...and yours.  Good luck.
1183545
TELL YOUR BESTFRIEND TO GET A LIFE.. AND GET HER OWN BOY..  DON'T TOUCH WHAT'S NOT BELONG TO HER.. \nYOU CAN GET ANOTHER BEST FRIEND.
845683
You should tell her that it really pissed you off and if she wants to be a friend then she needs to not tell people your private things you share in confidence.  If she disregards your upset or request than don't waste your energy on her and  know that you can not tell her anything you don't want others to know.
255485
try not to bring the subject up again for a while beome more of a best friend before bringing the question again let her know that she can trust you and that you're willing to treat her right like nobody ever will then you'll be good to go above all just let her know she can trust you and that she can tell you anything and you'll always listen and try to understand
327951
Just tell her your not ready for anything more than a friendship right now.  She probably will get hurt, but that's called life.