does sex on the first date mean a doomed relationship for a guy?
111727
Not really. I married the guy i had sex with on the first date and we are still married.
216889
well if the only thing he wants you for is just sex then the relation will not last anyway...i personally think he is being a baby about it...i have had women ask not to have sex that day for one reason or another... but i was still there with them...because i enjoyed there company\n\nthe only ones that i didn't want to be around are the ones i dated just for the sex...and those were the worst relationships i have ever had (in more ways then one)
1046556
If a girl thinks all you want from her is sex, you're going to get the "let's be friends" line from most you meet.  (Sluts don't count.)  The strongest relationships start as friendships.  My advice to you would be to slow down, don't try to get your nookie on the first date, and spend some time getting to know the wonderful world of the feminine mystique.
715421
Sounds like you are feeling really rather insecure about yourself.  It's not a crime to have sex on a first date but the downside to it is the sort of confused feelings you seem to be going through.  The reason for this may be that it was just too early to tell whether this guy really liked you (or indeed, whether you liked him) and now you are having to wait and see.  However, the decision about whether you see each other again is half yours and half his, if you both want to see each other you will, if you don't you won't.  On one hand you are saying you don't know how you feel about having slept with this guy and on the other you are saying that you don't regret it ... so that kind of indicates that you do know how you feel!  It is important that you clarify for yourself how you feel about him.  Do you want to see him again?  If the answer is yes, you can either wait for him to approach you, or you can approach him first.  It is not unusual for people to jump into bed with each other very quickly, it sounds a bit like you might not be entirely comfortable with your behaviour because perhaps you think he won't like or respect you for it.  You can't know how he feels about you without approaching him in some way and initiating communication ... you won't have to ask him how he feels, that should become apparent by whether you get together again and you will be able to tell how much he likes you by how he treats you from now on in.  Speculating on the minimal information you seem to have might just drive you a bit bonkers and certainly won't get you any reliable answers.  Finally, I would say of course you can become friends with this guy, if he wants to become a friend of yours too ...
1139489
I would not judge someones character based on fulfilling sexual needs on a 2nd or third date, but I would think tha having sex that soon, you might be thought of as a bit on the loose side.  I think I may be old fashionned, but I would think that maybe some kissing, or heavy petting (yah, how corny is that?!) could happen on the 2nd or 3rd date, but I'm not thinking sex at that point.  Well, I might be thinking it, but I don't think I would want to do it.\n\nBut it could also be that you spent alot of time using other mediums ... e-mail, IM, text messaging, telephone, etc, and that can shorten the timeframe quite a bit ... hopefully there is a good amount of honesty in those conversations.  I think that if there is alot of that, exceptions could be made where kissing could occur on the first date, as long as it's OK with both people.
949157
The fact of sex doesn't mean a thing one way or the other.  If I enjoyed being with her, and if I think I would enjoy being with her again, I'll call.   But if we were just taking care of a biologicial urge, and there was no real connection between us, I would not want to go out with her again.\n\nIn other words, if we really liked each other and ended up in bed together, then that's just great.  But if we didn't have anything in common except the sex, why bother?\n\nJust one man's opinion. Good luck!!
544469
sometimes you can't help the way you feel.. I would be rather annoyed with a guy if he tried to have sex with me on the first date, but if you really want this person emotionally, then you are emotionally stimulated to want to have sex with them because it feels soooo right, there is passion from both sides.....
14857
Not easy to know without knowing him, but probably he does want a non-threatening source of sex. And he probably doesn't want to be alone, and you are like a safety blanket for him. And he probably does have good feelings for you, but doesn't want to make a commitment.\n\nThe question for you is whether you want a relationship like this. Does it meet your needs? Do you want a committed relationship? I doubt you will get it from him.
825852
It's a good idea on the first date - that way no one has any right to expectations of "tit for tat", so to speak.\n\nIf the first date goes well, I've always taken turns.  That sends a clear signal that you're on equal footing financially but want to continue seeing each other just because you like each other.  If you can't afford the same type of restaurant, pick something in your price range when it's your turn - or eat in.  Nothing beats a home-cooked meal for ambiance!
422450
I think that im the right person to talk to you.\nI have always belived in complete abstenance, you know, no kissing,and defenatly no sex.\nMy 1st date was when I was 25, i actually waited that long, i met this great gentleman at church, i knew he was the man for me. he actually invited me to go out at this nice restaurant, and i accepted the invitation.\nthis s my fist date, im 25 and not really know what exacly im doing in this restaurant with this guy, He stars telling me about his life, we really had a great time that night, the next day he calls me at work and he sais that he really wants to see me again, i agree to go out again, he told me that he knew that i was the woman he has been waiting for, He actually ask me if He could kiss me, I told him that i had didnt know how to kiss. He got so quiet, he touched my face, then he kissed my forehead, then my nose then my chik, i could not breathe i felt like i was inside a cloud, and then he kissed me, there was i giving my fist kiss, and when i kiss him i always remember how sweet and delicate he was to me. I married him, and we are happily married our anniversary its comming up 3 years already, and we are praying for a baby. there is so much happiness, when you save your self for the right person, the key is not to worrie about it, God will send you the right person, just like he did to me.
819697
If intercourse hurt every time, you are with an insensitive partner. Your first time should have been special and not just an orgy. If you plan to continue to have sex with this guy you need to learn to tell him what hurts and what feels good. Sex should be good for both partners. I hope you are old enough to handle a sexual relationship, it is a lot more demanding than just dating someone. If your guy isn't receptive and listens to your feelings he is only thinking of what he wants and will not be a good lover. Think about what is important to you and please use a condom to prevent sexual disease or an unwanted pregnancy.
203907
cancel cancel cancel! There is a reason you didn't want to date him in the first place! I once dated a guy, because I  didn't know how to say no, before the second date I had a bad feeling and really didn't want to go out with him anymore, well towards the end of that second date, he was really forceful, wanting me to have sex with him, luckily some people came upon us, but listen to your gut instinct. Nature provided that for us to HELP US!
617305
holding out in the beginning, is ok.  Relationships that i have had that started out with sex right away has always ended sooner, blast at first but after that, it gets dull. The building blocks for a stable relationship starts out by becoming friends first.  Looking at eachother, respecting eachother and wondering what it will be like when you do have sex.  That anticipation makes it  more special ( and hot) and by doing that each can feel more comfortable and be more open.  This makes the relationship stronger in the long run. Good luck
549227
do you mean on the first date? if you do, don't expect him to call you back.\n\nit depends who you have sex with. it can be really bad if you're not careful....and wait till you good and ready, not when he is
910850
So, you're a virgin? Hold up. That is something really, really special, and in my opinion, you do not want to lose it through some hook up. Sounds like this guy has major commitment issues, and just wants to get in your pants. I mean, hell, he even admitted that he is "awful at having a girlfriend." Sounds like he's trying to seduce you.\n\nYou really need to think about what you want. You need to realize that it is a very possible situation that he could have sex with you, then completely ignore you/leave you. Either that or you guys try to work out a relationship and it fizzles. These are very possible outcomes, and if you want to have sex with him, you need to be prepared for the outcomes. If you want to see him again, but don't want to have sex, you need to be vocal about your needs. You need to actively tell him "I don't want you to touch me here, etc, otherwise I'm leaving." He needs to respect you, and he has no right to touch you where you don't want to be touched. \n\nWhat is this bit about him having sex for only 20 minutes? What? Is he a virgin or not? Sounds like he had sex but he is just trying to down-play it so he can tell you he wants to lose it to you. Sorry, but that just sounds like another way to get you into bed. \n\nIt sounds like if you two get together again, something might accidently happen. When things heat up like that, you might end up doing something you didn't intend to do. I just want to really emphasis how important your virginity is, and you really need to keep it for something special. You will always remember your first time. Is this how you want to remember it? \n\nIf you do decide to have sex, please use birth control & condoms. And think hard about this, because this guy doesn't sound like he would be staying.\n\nGood luck.
650620
i would be honest with him, but remember, when you started dating he had to have sex, and it would be you. so don't make yourself hurt, but don't leave him out in cold either.
342393
Yes my dear, I know what you mean. If you're scared, don't go. \n\nDoes he know you're a virgin? You didn't say how long you two have been dating. If you've dated him a long time and he knows you are a virgin and has been respectful, never questioning you or pressuring you, then it MIGHT be okay. I still think if you are afraid or it makes you uncomfortable, then you should do what feels right to you and not go. If you feel you might be pressured to have sex and you are not ready to, then do not go. \n\nI am not a virgin any more, but know how this feels. Let me share a story with you:\nI am a single woman (previouly married many years ago). I was dating a guy for a few months and I really liked him, but had not had sex with him. We kissed on our dates, and it was very hot, but kept it at that level, just kissing, no "heavy petting". He invited me on a ski trip for a week. We had not travelled together before, or even spent a weekend together, so I was a bit hesitant. (I should have paid attention to that feeling; that was my intuition.)  I really did not think he would pressure me. He had been very well mannered. I would not have gone otherwise. I knew spending that much time together would let us really get to know each other. We got along well and it would be fun, especially because we both like to ski.\n\nOn that trip, he started by wanting me to sleep in the same bed with him. I actually didn't have much choice, the room only had one bed. I should have known right there that a real gentleman would have made sure there were 2 beds or asked me if I was okay with the sleeping arrangements. I felt a little uneasy about it, because I was not ready to be so physically close to him. But I figured it was okay, and kept my gown on. Well, it just got worse each night. By the 4th night he was pissed off that he had "paid to take [me] on this trip and [I] wasn't being accomodating". He got more and more demanding. He flat out told me he "deserved" to have sex with me! He was a real jerk about it! Rather than a really great time, it became a degrading experience for me.  Needless to say, we stopped seeing each other after that. \n\nThat was years ago but I learned a lesson. For me: I would never go on a trip with a man unless we were crazy about each other,already in a commited relationship, and had already made love before that trip. I turned down several trips, but I did not want to be in that position ever again! Yuck!I did not go on a trip with a man again until all of my criteria were met, and what a difference! It was worth the wait.\n\nI commend you for being a virgin. it's a rare thing these days. If you are not ready to lose your virginity, don't!\n\nJust because a man pays for a trip, no woman "owes" a man sex in exchange. I have asked several men (yes, all kinds, including wealthy, well educated, well-mannered upper class men, like the man I had gone on that ill-fated trip with) about this and unfortunately many men seem to think that accepting the invitation of going on a trip is some unspoken code for "there will be vacation sex." They assume "the woman knows [he] wants sex on a trip." So don't go unless you want that too.\n\nYou do what feels right for YOU, not your boyfriend. If he really loves you, he will not pressure you. He will understand. If he doesn't, then break it off. You are special and need to be with someone who truly understands and appreciates you. Good luck!