needing advise for a heartache that i helped create in some ways?
107501
You need counseling for abused women. Look in your community and please please please for your sake and the sake of your children find someone to talk to before its too late
282603
Talk to the people at ALANON.  They will put you in touch with an appropriate grief counsellor who has dealt with this before.
241461
I was in your shoes, my friend, years ago. And this is what I did and learned:\n\nI waited & waited to be loved in return... five years as a matter of fact. I had many sleepless nights, I had a whole migration of butterflies in my stomach everytime we spoke over the phone, whenever i saw her, & even a simple thought of her. Not a single day, night & moment went by that I did not think of her. I was there for her emotionally, physically, financially, spiritually... & evermore optimistic for her to one day feel the way i felt. Yet, she did not reciprocate the same intensity & desire as i did. Mind you that nobody knew that i was feeling soo ga-ga over her, so i had no one, not one soul to talk to for advice or direction of what i should do. \n\nSo what happened? What did I do? \n\nWell, one nite i finally broke down, emotionally, like i had before and got down on my knees and prayed to help get over her. A warm blanket of feeling came over me and realize that I was just alone, too lonely & barking up the wrong tree. In that instant my head was clear & had enough gusto to say myself & her "no mo". I moved on. Since then, I had many friends to count on and goals that kept me busy.\n\nThe Truth is: I was infatuated. I "loved" someone who did not loved me back; who did not reciprocated... for five long years! It was a waste of my time, energy & not to mention financially. In that instant in the dead of night, i realized one love is not enough... it takes two.\n\nSo my question to you, my friend, how long can you wait?\n\n-Taz-
793183
Just sit them down and as nicely as possible tell them what you want to say. I mean, honesty is the best policy, but if you still care about the person you can try and cushion the blow by saying something like, " I don't feel like I once did about you, things have changed, I'm sorry I don't love you anymore" ect ect. If they ask why I guess you could tell them and get into that if you really want too and have the energy for it. Basically, I guess what would help is if you imagine yourself in the other person's shoes and think about how you would want them to tell you the same thing.
241512
Aww. I went thru this over the summer break last year. And I'm telling you, fr. female to female, the best thing I did was leave him, and in this case that's what I think you should do. Im not even going to lie, it took alot out of me to leave him! Just like your dude he made me feel bad and yet still I gave him chance after chance cause I thought that he would change and that it was just a phase... Unfortunately, it was'nt a phase, this was the real him. A rough, heartless, mean person that put others down to make him feel better. That's not even the worst of it! I thought he was the one for me SOOO much that I went against my family, ALL FOR HIM! My family turned against me cause they wanted me to not be with him so bad! Back then I didnt understand why they kept on acting like that but now I see. They were just looking out for me. And even though I dont know you, I, looking out for you too because I know how it feels to be where your at right now. It feels as if the whole world has turned against you. And that he's the only one who loves you. (Or at least thats how it felt to me!) Thats not true, after you leave him your eyes will be open again and you'll be able to see who really loves you and those are the people that tried to warn you about him. The best thing you can do is leave him. When I left my boy, at the time I felt like I had made a HUGE mistake, but after I start realizing all the other people in life that is there for me and that have my back thru thick & thin, there was really no point for him being in my life. Boys can only give you so much joy for so little time, but what will you do when that joy turns into pain? Or when he leaves you? Your back to the depressed you again? That's not how it's suppose to be. NEVER let a dude determine how your day is going to be or how you look at the world! You should never even look for happiness in boys, this is kinda old school but, the true happiness lies within yourself. If you feel good about yourself, you wont care what NO ONE thinks about you. See how much you can gain if you leave him? Dont worry ok? The right one for you will come along ok? Dont ever let a dude make you question how much your worth! Im sure your a very sweet person that's just feel into one of the traps that most fall into. It's not your fault. But listen, the best part of breaking up with him is the fact that he WILL want you back! That's what happened to me and he STILL is asking for another chance and what do you think I said? NO! Once he breaks your heart he'll always find another way to do so, so why go thru it? Yeah it makes you stronger but other than that its just causing you great pain. I hope a lesson from my experiences help you! Just remember to stay strong!
444553
Be very kind to yourself.  Let yourself be sad about how things didn't work out, but after a reasonable amount of time, start to distract yourself from your sad feelings.  Be around friends that make you laugh, do nice things for yourself, take time getting to know yourself again and what you want out of life besides what you don't have, then start taking steps to make all of your dreams come true.  With time your heart will heal.
573523
I'm really sorry for your loss. What could it hurt to try the counseling? If it helps you then at least you can get some help dealing with this and if it doesn't help then at least you have made an effort. I used to babysit a woman's children every week while she went to grief counseling but it was a group meeting and it really did help her. I would suggest a group counseling so that you can have support from others that actually do understand what you are going through.
900791
I would suggest an open ended question... something that wouldn't appear too invasive.  "Is it something I can help with?" Of course, you have to be wary that this person might be waiting for an invite that way he can pour out all of his emo junk on you and that might not be where you want your limited relationship to go.  Otherwise, I think what you did was okay.  I figure if he wanted help with it, he probably would've gone further with his answer.
352102
Blogging can help.  I have found that just writing out my feelings leaves my mind feeling cleansed.  I know how you feel, as I've been there myself.
868688
That dude Chris is right, if anything absence makes the heart grow fonder, and she'll come to you, if not, being a pathetic sack of crap, and crying around her all day will not make the situation better.  Distract yourself and move on... I would suggest booze in the distraction department.
686003
No you knitwitt this isn't Hitch. I guess you should go with your emotions or listen to complete strangers on the internet for advise.
21966
dont be dumb enough to even think you know what he or she is feeling. YOU DONT! best advice, leave them along for a few days and let them ask for what they want. no pressure, and NO QUESTIONS. let theme tell what they want, when they want and remember, time will help heal. NO PRESSURE AND NO WAR STORIES.
214459
look, you made an honest mistake, i mean from the sound of things, it came from the right place. grow a bit of a spine and admit to her that what you did was wrong, but explain to her how what she did made you feel; that maybe she should have gone about it in a different way. don't beat yourself that much over it, you are only human and will make some mistakes, especially with those you love.
337116
I suggest reading the book called "How to mend a broken heart, moving on and letting go" it's by Aleta Koman. I had and still have the same problem. It's goes away with time, then again there are times it comes back but not as bad. If you ever need someone to talk to look in my profile and contact me. I'm here if you need someone to talk to and try to help you the best way that I can.
240670
Why? If you could be more specific it would help! There are many things which upset us. Rarely things are impossible however! Share your feelings with trusted friends or family. Have hope!
829460
Hey i really wanted 2 help u.. but din get ur q?\nsorry.. plz don feel bad...
850333
look!! just tell her the truth, you seem to me like a selfish person, tell her now rather then later if you want to avoid heartache