To forgive someone who betrayed you is something about love or stupidity?
101361
neither it is about giving your self permissoin to let go of bad memories
892414
Apologies never make one look stupid. Being repentant for an infraction of friendship should not be a deal breaker. Asking for forgiveness should begin the process of reconciliation. If this person is not open to apology or reconciliation you should move on to a more appropriate friendship. To have friends you must be a friend. Sometimes friendship is letting go.
644193
I think that if you do something bad you get bad Karma for it - even if you get forgiven for what you did.  \nForgiveness is not for the offender, it's for the offendee (is that a word?).  If you forgive someone, you I don't believe you get good Karma for it.  You do get to get that weight off of your shoulders, which always feels good.
659919
The forgiveness part is easy it is he forgetting part that takes a lot longer to accomplish.  I think that you can forgive a person in your heart, but still not want to be around that person for some time.  If you act like nothing happened with this person, then she or he will continue to think that they can treat you this way.  I feel that we teach people how to treat us, and you don't want to show them that it is OK to hurt you. I say, give it some time, you'll know if they are truly sorry, and deserve your friendship again by their actions.  Good luck, hon.
504042
what is important are not all the opinions from others, but your own opinions.you can choose how you want to live your life. and if you are honest with your yourself, you will know you are always free to make new choices.you must forgive those who hurt you, even if whatever they did to you is unforgivable in your mind. you will forgive them not because they deserve to be forgiven, but because you dont want to suffer and hurt yourself every time you remember what they did to you.forgiveness is for your own mentalhealing. you will forgive because you feel compassion for yourself. forgiveness is an act of self love.
235208
you need to decide whether youre going to live with what he did or not. if you cant forgive him then you cant move on. So you have to make a choice and decide what is best for you. If you love him and see your future with him then try to fix it, go to counseling but if his mistake erased your visions of a future with him, then you know what you need to do. But I must also say that you cant rush getting over things either and he should be willing to understand and agree with what you choose to do.
844002
I tend to forgive - even the worst things that have ever been done to me because people don't realize that moving on takes forgiveness. Even when it seems impossible to forgive those who may have done horrible things to us in our lives, we should forgive them - not so much for them as for our own sanity and well-being. It takes courage but it is possible to forgive even the worst things that have happened. It helps me get some kind of closure and peace inside which holding onto things never provides. Holding on and never letting go makes everything stay ao alive - so real and so unforgettable.\n\nOf course, there are those things that I cannot forget - unfortunately... words said, things that have happened. The human mind just does not seem to forget these things no matter how hard you with it would - we remember... I remember. And that is why the forgiveness is so essential - because we remember and everytime we do, it is not healthy for feelings of hate, anger, or sadness to overwhelm us. It is living in the past and that is not good for anyone.\n\nI was never the one to hold onto things, never apologize, stay in an arguement, etc - it is just not in me. I do not cope well with any conflicts so I am the one who apologizes even when I am not the one who should.. I just can't stand tension - escpecially with those that you know you love and who love you.. I see it as so pointless and such a waste of time - I always did. And I think I forgive people too easily sometimes perhaps.. just so we can move on and so no one stays hurt any longer. I am just that kind of person. \n\nSo, I don't forget - because I can't. But - I do forgive, sometimes just for my sake - to ease my own pain and to try to let go and move on.\n\n:o)
241123
Probably no, if it's not in a particular situation.\n\nI agree with awpw : even if you forgive him, you'll always be wondering what they are doing because you have a right not to trust them (you just can't - there'll be always an obssesion, it makes you suspect, question ... everything he does, if he does honestly ...) its too much worry and stress... It won't let you live in peace ...
251178
To forgive is to heel. To carry a grudge and you become the same person who has done you wrong.\n I agree some times you have to bite the dog back to teach a lesson.\n Just don't let it comsume you.
543927
It takes a strong person to truly forgive and forget when it is over something major.\n\nTo me, the phrase means that if I forgive and forget, I won't bring the "forgiven and forgotten" offense up in future arguments, I won't dwell over what can't be changed and I won't seek revenge or continue to mull over the experience.\n\nI may not truly "forget" what happened - but saying that means I am willing to move on and not waste any more precious time worrying about the offense.\n\nOf course, there have been things in my life that I haven't been wiling to "forgive and forget" but in those cases I have chosen to give up my relationship with that person rather than try to heal the friendship. Usually a relationship of some sort is at stake when forgiveness is involved and it is a matter of choosing between the offense and the relationship.
232839
You are honest enough to realise that you have done something wrong to someone, which itself shows u have taken responsibility of it. You cannot immediately confront him as iam sure he too is just recovering from whatever it is you have done to him. You have to wait, be patient. Once when the time is right, when things are a bit silent, you have to talk to him and get it over with. Meet him alone in person and in the first instance, start apologising  and then u owe him an explanation on why u had to do it. And last, tell him how awful you feel about what u did. And wait for him to react, listen to him, positive or negative...it doesnt matter..as much as you have admitted your mistake, give him a chance to let whats in his mind to come out. You have to take it from there, i guess. If that person has forgiven you, then great..but if he hasnt, and goes on abusing or accusing u and making u feel that you have sent him to hell, well...listen to it and simply walk away..you cannot force him to forgive you...\n\nYou did your  part and i'll bet u will feel a lot relieved. It wont irritate you in ur mind that you didnt clear it up, so well done, you have done ur part! pat urself for being brave!!
932265
that really depends if can still love her and she is sorry for what she has done\n\nalso, ask your self, who was to blame for this
561634
I won't say that I cannot forgive, but it would be hard for me to forgive someone who was close to me and betrayed my trust.
115314
I have pondered this same thing..\n\nI can forgive someone for treating me poorly, but I will never forget how I felt when that happened.. \n\nI think it has to do with a little self preservation, and more to what you want to surround yourself with, and  not wanting to put yourself in a position to face the same types of offenses.\n\nForgetting it a very hard thing to do, because you naturally associate some things together.. like a favorite song from high school that instantly makes you feel a certain way when you hear it again, or the first time you laid eyes on your first born, or the first time your heart was broken.  You retain this data (I think) because it's all a learning process that later will help you value what is and isn't important. And the emotions tied to those things are memorized with your heart.
871966
I think they are both actions that engage your emotions and your intellect. I feel  that 'forgive' is situation specific...in that it is applied to individual situations and times.  To me 'forgiveness' is present -continuous almost... it is not just for this time but always. I hope I made sense. And of course one is a noun and one is a verb. lol
593889
That depends on how apologetic a person is. If a person is sincerely sorry about what he or she did, I can forgive. Many people however don't even bother to apologise. They suffer my revenge ten fold.
109656
Forgiveness comes from deeper inside than any other emotion, and is the only thing that separates humans (spiritually speaking) from monkeys.  \n\nYou can teach a dog patience.  If you have patience but no forgiveness, then your life is shallow and empty.  If you have forgiveness, then your life can be righteous and wonderful whether you are patient or not.\n\nOn the other hand, if you forgive someone for messing up your life, it doesn't mean you have to take them back.  You can forgive them and walk away.  \n\nJust because you have forgiven someone doesn't mean they were right, it just means that they are not your problem anymore.