Please tell me the end: a priest a rabbi and a horse walked into a bar...?
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...and the bartender asks "Is this some kind of joke?"
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friday is the name of the horse.\n\nits an airplane cabin. the airplane crashed
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The man looked in the mirror and see what he saw...he took the saw out of the mirror and sawed the table in half with the saw. Then he put the table halves together...half+half=a (w)hole. He got outside with the hole. Well.....he went through the hole. OR the man screamed until he was ho(a)rse.Then he rode the horse out of there using its mega-kick to smash the wall!!!
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This drunk guy is walking thru Central Park on St.Patrick's Day. He stops to piss in the bushes and sees a little guy dressed in green standing next to him. The drunk asks "Are you a Leprechaun"?  "Yes,you caught me" is the reply. "I get a pot of gold then?",asks the drunk. The Leprechaun says "This is New York City,we don't carry gold,but we grant 3 wishes".  \n\nSo the drunk says "I wish for a million bucks". "Done!" cries the Leprechaun, "in the morning you'll have it in your bank account. Your second wish?"  The drunks says "I want all the women I can handle". "Done!" says the Leprecahun,"come morning, women will throw themselves at you. 3rd wish?"  The drunk says "I couldn't help but notice how hung your are. Can you make me hung like that?"  The Leprechaun replies "Now that would be a special gift,and for that, you'll have to let me have my way with you".\n\nThe drunk is thinking this over, saying to himself "I got a million bucks, women will be all over me, and I'll be hung like a horse. And besides, who's to know but me and the Leprechaun?"  So the drunk says "Yes" and bends over in the bushes and lets the Leprechaun have him. \n\nAfter the Leprechaun is done, he asks the drunk how old he is. "25, but what does this have to do with my wishes?"  The little guy dressed in green asks ,"Well aren't you a little old to be believing in Leprechauns?"
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1) Joseph interprets the wine steward & the baker's dream\n\nOnce the wine steward & the baker had offended the Pharoah.The Pharoah put them in prison.One night in the prison the wine steward & the baker, each had a dream. When Joseph came to them they were upset as nobod cold explain their dream.\nThey explained their dreams.In the dream of the wine steward there was a grape wine in front of him with three branches on it. As soon as the leaves came out, the blossoms appeared, and the grapes ripened.He was holding the kings cup.So he took the grapes & squeezed the cup and gave it to him.Joseph said that this meant that the three branches are the three days. In three days the Pharoah would release & pardon him and he would give him his cup as he had been giving when he was a wine steward.\n\nIn the baker's dream , the baker was carrying three bread baskets on his head.In the top were all kinds of pasteries for the king, and the birds were eating them. Joseph answered that the three baskets were the three days and in three days the king would release him and have his head cut off! Then he wol hang his body on a pole, and the birds would eat his flesh.\n\nFor more information refer Genesis 40:23\n\n2) Joseph interprets Pharoah's dream \n\nThe Pharoah had dreamt that he was standing by the River Nile,\nwhen seven cows, fat & sleek, came up out of the river and began to feed on the grass.Then seven other cows came on the river-bank, and the thin kcows ate up the fat cows. Then the king woke up.He fell asleep again and had another dream. Seven ears of corn, full ripe, were growing on one stalk. Then seven other ears of corn swallowed the full ones. The king woke up & realized that it was a dream.He was worried in the morning & sent for all magicians & wise men of Egypt.He told them his dream but no one could explain it to him.Finally the wine steward suggested that Joseph cold explain his dream as he had also explained the wine steward & the baker's dream.The Pharoah called for Joseph & the Pharoah explained the dream.Joseph explained the dream to Pharoah.He told that both the dreams meant the same.The seven fat cows & seven ears of corn were seven years.The seven thin cows which came up later and the seven thin ears scorched by the deset wind are the seven years of famine.There will be seven years of great plenty in Egypt. After that, there will be seven years of famine, and all the good years will be forgotten, because the famine will ruin the country.The repitation of his dream was that the matter was fixed by God. \n\nFor more information refer Genesis 41:36\n\n3) Daniel's vision\nIn the dream of Daniel, the winds were blowing from all directions and lashing the surface of the ocean. Four huge beasts came out of the ocean, each one  different from others.\nThe first one looked like a lion, but had wings like an eagle. While he was watching the wings of the lion tore off. The beast was lifted up and made to stand like a man. And then a human mind was given to it.\nThe second beast  looke like a bear standing on its hind legs. It was holding three ribs between its teeth and a voice said to it," Go on, eat much meat as you can".\nAnother beast appeared. It was powerful, horrible, terrible flying.\nWith its huge iron teeth it crushed its victims and then it trampled on them. While Daniel in the dream was staring at the horns, he saw a little horn coming up among the others. It tore out three of the horns ther were already there. This horn was human eyes and a mouth that was boasting proudly.\n\n4) Vision of One who has been living for ever\nWhile Daniel was looking, the thrones were put in order. One who had been living for ever sat down on one of the thrones.his clothes were white as snow.His throne mounted on fiery wheels, wwas blazing with fire and a stream  of fire was pouring.Millions of people stood before him.The fourth beast was killed and its body was thrown in flames and detroyed.The other bea
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"...but what the name of Horse it rode in on?"\n\nLaw
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I am sorry. I was lost in prayer. Welcome to our church. Here is a beer. How can we help you? And, may I say, you are looking very very nice today, if you know what I mean. :)
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Hi "One_man_woman",\nOne time, I was walking to the corner market for a loaf of bread when I had to pass by a neighborhood church. I was somewhat acquainted with the structure as it was always mentioned in the newspaper's community section. Known as "The loft," folks would gather there on Thursday evenings for poetry readings.\n\nHowever, this day happened to be a Saturday afternoon and a pair of gentlemen greeted me as I walked by. They invited me inside to sample an hour of their presentation. Ok, I went inside and found myself to be a prospective new recruit for their brand of religion.\n\nMost of the pews were filled with hooded monks chanting a haunting rhythm. There were others who like me, were wearing their regular denims. The service began like most other church-goers would be familiar with. A grand master of ceremonies led the group through some songs and gave a sermon. Near the end of the hour it was time for their ritual of "laying on of the hands." Some of the parishioners would come forward and ask for prayers for their ailments or a sick grand mum whom fell down in the tub. All the hooded dudes whose faces could not readily be seen would all place a hand on the person and their combined energies were presumed to have a strength and expedite a solution to the problem.\n\nOK now, there was another new guy in the pews who was watching eagerly. I noticed he had a shaky-leg syndrome. When he saw a chance, he approached the ring of conspirators and described how he never was able to settle down. The hooded goons closed in upon him, all to make a physical connection. The master of ceremonies began a prayer, a dogmatic mix of logic and pure hocus-pocus. I immediately saw the effects as the tension went out of the man's body. When the beseeching was near an end, the master asked, "Are the brothers ready?"\n\nA suspenseful few moments passed until he almost shouted, "NOW!"\n\nOn that cue, the brothers began to pummel their hapless victim. Continually delivering blows over head and to the solar plexus until he was down on the floor getting stomped. After another minute, the grand Pooh-Bah decided the treatment administered was sufficient to induce a relaxing calm that would assuage the nervousness for a long, long time.\n\nI can't say for certain that the syndrome was lifted permanently as I had a loaf of bread to buy and some other errands to do that day. I hope for you "One_man_woman", that you can find a cure.\n\n-Mark
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Want to hear a dirty joke??\n\n\n\n\n\n\nA white horse fell in the mud. Now thats just dirty.
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A ham & cheese sandwich walks into a bar and orders a beer. Bartender says, "We don't serve food here."\n\nA skeleton walks into a bar and orders a beer and a mop.\n\nA gay man is walking up to a crowed bar and says to another patron, "May I push your stool in?"\n\nA baby Harp seal walks into a club. Freaking tragedy.
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Sorry! Didn't notice it was under Religion and Spirituality:\n\nJOKE #1\n\nA woman and a man go to church every week, and every week, the man falls asleep during the pastor's sermon. So the wife decides that she'll bring a long hat pin, and poke him with it whenever he fell asleep.\nSo later that morning they went to church. And almost as soon as church had started the man fell asleep. The pastor began to get into his sermon. He posed the question, "And who created the world in seven days?"\n\nThe woman poked the man with the pin. He jumped up and said, "GOD ALMIGHTY!"\n\n"Very good, very good." The pastor replied, nodding his head. The man sat down in embarrassment, but soon fell asleep again.\n\nThe pastor continued his sermon, and got to the point where he posed another question, "And who died on the cross to save us from our sins?"\n\n"JESUS CHRIST." The man said as he jumped up after being poked. The entire congregation looked at him. He mumbled something to himself, and sat back down.\n\nThe pastor once again continued his sermon, and neared the end. He posed one more question, "And what did Eve say to Adam after the birth of their second child?"\n\nThe woman poked her husband one more time, and he jumped up and shouted, "IF YOU STICK THAT THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME, I'LL BREAK IT OFF!"\n\n\nJOKE #2\n\nA drunk that had just come out of a bar, got lost and ended up walking into a lake where a group of Baptists were performing a group baptism ceremony.\n\nThe drunk guy approaches the minister: "E-e-e-xcuse me, b-b-but, I-I'm lost...."\n\nThe minister says: "Yes, brother, we all were lost once". And without as much as a warning he grabs the drunk by the hair and puts him under water, face down".\nThe drunk kicked and struggled.\n\nHe finally pulls him out of the water and asks him: "Have you found Jesus, brother?".\nScared, the drunk guy, yells out: NOOO!!\n\nThe minister puts him underwater once again and asks him: "Have you found Jesus, brother?".\nThe drunk yells out: NOOO!!\n\nHe puts him underwater once again and asks him: "Have you found Jesus, brother?".\nAlmost crying, the drunk guy screams: "NOOO!! I DIDN'T FIND HIM!! A-A-RE Y-Y-OU SURE THIS IS WHERE HE DROUNDED???
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i don't know. but it should involve a horse and a cow....and one should be eating the other one.\njust a suggestion...
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THERES A PRIEST A RABBI ND A LAWYER ON A SINKING SHIP ND THEY RUN TO THE SAME LIFE BOAT ND START TO LOWER IT DOWN UNTIL THE RABBI SAYS "WAIT! WAT ABOUT THE CHILDREN??"\nTHE LAWYER RESPONDS "FUCK THE CHILDREN"\nND THE PRIEST SAYS "DO WE HAVE TIME?"
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"Father Goose" (1964)\n\nLieutenant Stebbings RAN: Mother Goose is requesting a chaplain. \nCommander Frank Houghton RAN: A chaplain? Good heavens, he's killed her. \nLieutenant Stebbings RAN: No, sir. They want to get married. \nCommander Frank Houghton RAN: Married? Goody Two-Shoes and the Filthy Beast? \n\n(all thanks to imdb.com) =)
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Seriously, I had a friend who was in seminary school, and one day he was visiting with me and our buddies when we ordered out for some Pizza and beer.  It started as a joke, but being all Catholics at the time, we simulated Communion using the Pizza as the host and the beer as the blood.  Just as we started out, a weird feeling came over us all, and the joke stopped and we performed the communion together taking it very seriously.  \n\nI will ring your doorbell and run away!!!
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The Bible does mention horses in Heaven, but there is only one Heaven, and it's reserved for souls of people who have freely chosen God. Animals act according to instinct as God has pre-programmed them. They have no soul but sure are cute.
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Hi,\nThe four horsemen you read about in Revelation relate to the breaking of the seals by the Lamb.  The seals that are broken represent God's curses on the world.  The horses symbolize these curses.  There are four of them.  The general consensus is they are pale, black, red and white.  They represent death, famine, war and the antichrist.  Hope this helps.