what should i do to stop being so jelous and unsecure about my wife?
107067
i had the same problem when i just got married with my husband.  i'm a jealous type too and very insecure with everything.  and he cheated on me not only once but twice.  i know its crazy to forgive him after cheating twice but forgiving him wasnt a mistake.  i tried to snooped on his stuff to find something that he might be hiding from me.  i was so insecure with his friends because it seemed like he was having more fun with them than his own wife.  we almost filed a divorce but i didnt want to lose him eventhough he cheated on me and he was neglecting me. i believed that i married this guy and i am willing to live with him forever.  we went to counseling and it was good.  it opened his eyes.  but i thought it was all his fault.  the counselor did pretty good explaining that i did some mistakes too.  i was so focus on my jealousy and forgot about our marriage.  after that i seen his effort to change and he really did.  he regrets everything. and now we already 5 years marriage and proud to say we're getting strong.\n\ni am sharing u this because i think what i've been through is the same as what your situation right now.  dont let her leave u.  if there is still a way to stay together then do it.  honestly, even i see my husband changed a lot - his past still hauting me sometimes.  its not easy to forget.  u have to go counseling or get somebody to help u out.  u have to talk to her.  communication is the best key to a happy marriage.  i know she cheated on u but give her a chance.  there's nothing wrong if give it a try for the second time.  if u guys talk - listen to her and let her listen to u.  this is what i've learned from the counseling...when u guys talking, dont use YOU.  like u did that, u did this.  thats blaming.  use I.  be calm and if she says something will hurt u.  dont be mad - listen to her.  only both of u can resolve your problem.  i believe that marriage is not always about sex, being happy and successful.  having ups and downs are very normal. show her u love and u care for her.  maybe u are doing what i did - focusing on my jealousy and not your marriage.   \nbefore its too late, go seek some help..good luck!!!
1015983
Honey, it's absolutely NOT you!!!  You are YOU, not just his wife.  You are an adult and should be able to be friends with others, hobbies other than what he likes, etc.  You DON'T have to do everything together.  You are you're own person.  The fact that he doesn't trust you with  male co-workers is a classic sign that HE should NOT be trusted because his way of thinking is "Well, if I'm capable of doing it, she must be doing it too".  \n\nYou should not have to walk on eggshells in your own house.  My husband and I were having some problems and he made me feel like everything I did was wrong.  He got irritated by every move I made and everything I said and did and we were miserable.  I was so confused because it was my first (and hopefully only) marriage and I was extremely disappointed in marriage and him.  \n\nOne day I had an epiphany.  I was letting myself be changed by him.  I no longer stood up for what I thought and what I did or did not like.  I was no longer ME.  I hate to be crude, but one day I thought to myself "What the f*ck is wrong with me?  He married me.  All my thoughts, flaws, mistakes, passions, talents, everything.....and I've been hiding myself.  Well, screw that!!!" \n\nHe came home from work and I told him.  I WILL BE MYSELF AND IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT, YOU CAN LEAVE BECAUSE I CAN DO THIS WITHOUT YOU AND BE HAPPIER.  IT'S YOUR CHOICE.\n\nTo tell the truth, our marriage has never been better and I'm crazy about him.  If he gets slightly irritated at something I do, too bad.  Everyone isn't perfect and he certainly isn't.  Suck it up, Man!!!  You are far from perfect!\n\nIf he doesn't change, get out.  Life is too short to live with someone who doesn't appreciate you for everything you are.  Be yourself.\n\nTake care,\n\nJoyce
537886
Now I've heard everything! Your wife should be ashamed of herself for behaving in this manner! This is NOT abuse.
77831
Read this article about emotional cheating.\n\nhttp://www.nydailynews.com/front/v-pfriendly/story/335439p-286396c.html\n\nYou're a brave man to put your - and your kid's picture - on the net, next to this question. Let's hope your wife and all of her friends can't read. ;-) Do you want her to find out? Is this a cry for help? A way of starting a conversation? I am not judging you, I am only asking because I can't understand it completely but I admire the frankness and openness in it.\n\nGood luck!
649169
stop caring about the things you're supposed to trust her with
784292
no free websites that i'm aware of. If your wife is suspicious of someone for a good reason, you maybe able to go down to your local police station and have them check. If she's just being nosey (which all of like to do) then you may have to throw down a few bucks.
1132517
How many men present this morning have a neighbour or a friend with a wife who is more intelligent than your wife? She's a woman who has common interests with you, interests that your wife finds boring. She's talented, a classy dresser who cares for her body and carries herself in a noble fashion. You ask yourself, "Why doesn't my wife sparkle like that chick?"\n\nFriends, comparison is a deadly game. Don't do it! It leads to coveting, adultery and divorce. Coveting blinds you to your spouses positive character qualities. Coveting makes you despise your wife's humility, meekness and virtue. Coveting robs your spouse from the position of Top Dog in your life. She is no longer your most cherished possession, she is "The Wife." Coveting tears-up families like useless scrap paper. Don't do it!
814579
Don't look at a woman's face.\nDon't drink alcohol\nDon't go out alone with a woman unless she is your wife \nAvoid going inside a woman's room for any reason
570506
Before examining your wife, lets take a look at this dude.  If he was a friend of hers, he wouldnt be making underhanded comments about you, doing things behind your back, etc.  If he was a friend of hers, he would want to be friends with you as well.  I mean, he is a dude.  He knows it is shady to do things behind your back.  Plus, he is putting your wife, his supposed friend, in a compromising position.\n\nNext issue, it is 100% your wife's responsibility to do the right thing.  You probably have a hot wife so you cant blame dudes for wanting her, but you can hold her accountable for doing the right or wrong thing.  She is the one that is married.\n\nSomeone else said this and it is absolutely correct, approach your wife with your feelings in a nonthreatening or emotional manner.  You gotta tell her how you feel and let her know that dismissing your feelings as jelous or irrational is not acceptable.  If this guy is truely a friend, he would hang out with both of you.  Tell her that you trust her and thinks its positive to have lots of friends of both genders, but texting, meeting behind your back, etc. is not something that wives and random dudes do if they are on the up and up.  If they are such great friends, he should come over to your crib to eat steaks and have beers with both of you.\n\nDont accept her acting shady.  You know as well as I do what is going on if she is shady.  Also, don't bite your tongue and be permissive because others tell you too.  You know in your gut if you are right or wrong.
572623
Yeah, just sit back and watch your spouse have an affair, have one yourself, or try doing porn, see how fast an outsider dissolves your marriage.\nIf the two hearts aren't married, then be on alert, anyone with 1/2 a reason can do it.
544538
First, you need to speak with ur wife.  If you love her you do owe her honesty and the opportunity to be involved in finding a solution.  \n\nIf at this point, you'd rather just keep it private from her because you have rationalized it as not wanting to hurt her, then...\n\nDo what a lot of guys are doing.  It is sleezy, but it works.  Set urself up on yahoo personals or myspace.com or adultfriendfinder.com and meet women that way.  DO NOT write u seek a f u c k buddy, cuz it will chase away all prospects including those who may seek relationships like that.  There is a certain dance that we as humans must do to get the sexual attention of another.  Don't seem desparate or like a player.  Don't mention ur wife.  Women are disgusted by men who use the "wife" excuse for a poor sex life.  Valid or not.  Be willing to take her out, work a little.  But honestly, most women on the net, if you get them out on the date you don't have much work left.  \n\nIf you are not stunning, be generous.  If you are not charming, read up on something and fake it.  Be cultured and refined.  \n\nNever set up encounters in ur city.  Try to call her, private.  Say it is a work phone.  Lie about ur last name.  Never leave her alone in ur vehicle.  Other than that seem very open and honest.\n\nHope these help you.
427679
Is there good reason not to trust your wife?  Or are past relationships clouding your vision?  If you have good reason, confront her, it's never good to just let things lie.  Life is too short to be with someone who doesn't respect you enough to tell you the truth.  However, if you're just being insecure for whatever reason, with nothing to back those feelings up, maybe you need to look inside yourself.
861314
Get to the basics. Let go the ego and the false pride. Accept mistakes and compromise.\nLive happily everafter.
128949
Settle down.\n\nThe correct answer which comes from years of experience is -\n          Never add your wife to any account
940523
Don't ever admit to anything. The best thing that you can do is accuse her of giving it to you,and then file for divorce on grounds of adultery.
891953
Firstly, you shouldn't have involved with a married woman..  2ndly, she is your secretary and you should have draw the line between superior and subordinates.\n\nNow, you are being pleasure by serving from your sec who is also playing with fire.  Have you ever thought if your wife is also acting such scam to other guy who turns to be her lover or superior, do you feel good on it or you would wack the shamless couple?\n\nYou are someone I believe is reputated background and you had a lovely family (no doubt you may lack of love & caring from your wife), however, you shouldn't marry her if you do not love your wife at all.  Think it over how your wife go through thick and think wtih you before you become successful.. I don't know who you are but you are mature enough to reflect whether you did wrong or not.
476989
Just tell your wife you dont find her attractive anymore. It is easier.\n\n\nor feel free to call your credit card company and reverse the charges