Why is it that nice guys seem to finish last, in the world of romance?
112265
What's wrong with Nice Guys? The biggest problem is that most Nice Guys are hideously insecure. They are so anxious to be liked and loved that they do things for other people to gain acceptance and attention, rather than for the simply pleasure of giving. You never know if a Nice Guy really likes you for who you are, or if he has glommed onto you out of desperation because you actually paid some kind of attention to him. \n\nNice Guys exude insecurity -- a big red target for the predators of the world. There are women out there who are "users" -- just looking for a sucker to take advantage of. Users home-in on "Nice Guys", stroke their egos, take them for a ride, add a notch to their belts, and move on. It's no wonder so many Nice Guys complain about women being horrible, when the so often the kind of woman that gets attracted to them is the lowest form of life... \n\nSelf-confident, caring, decent-hearted women find "Nice Guys" to be too clingy, self-abasing, and insecure. \n\nNice Guys go overboard. They bring roses to a "lets get together for coffee" date. They try to buy her affections with presents and fancy things. They think they know about romance, but their timing is all wrong, and they either come-on too strong, too hard and too fast, OR, they are so shy and unassertive, that they hang around pretending to be "friends", in the hope that somehow, someway, they will get the courage up to ask her out for a "date". \n\nThey are so desperate to please that they put aside their own needs, and place the object of their desire on a pedestal. Instead of appreciating her, they worship her. We are only human, and pedestals are narrow, confining places to be -- not to mention the fact that we tend to fall off of them. \n\nThey cling to her, and want to be "one" with her for fear that if she is out of sight, she may disappear or become attracted to someone else. A Nice Guy often has trouble with emotional intimacy, because he believes that if she learns about the REAL person inside, she will no longer love him. \n\nNice Guys are always asking HER to make the decisions. They think it's being equitable, but it puts an unfair burden of responsibility on her, and gives him the opportunity to blame her if the decision was an unwise one. \n\nNice Guys rarely speak up when something bothers them, and rarely state clearly what it is they want, need and expect. They fear that any kind of conflict might spell the end of the relationship. Instead of comprimising and negotiating, they repeatedly "give in". When she doesn't appreciate their sacrifice, they will complain that, "Everything I did, I did for her.", as if this somehow elevates them to the status of martyrs. A woman doesn't want a martyr. She wants an equal, caring, adult partner. \n\nNice Guys think that they will never meet anyone as special as she is. They use their adoration as a foundation for claiming that "no one will ever love her as much as I do." Instead of being a profound statement of their devotion, this is a subtle, but nasty insult. It is akin to saying to her: "You are a difficult person, and only *I* can ever truly love you, so be thankful I'm here." \n\nThe nice guy -needs- to believe that he is the best person for the object of his desires, because otherwise his insecurities will overrun him with jealousies and fear. The truth of the matter is that there are many people out there who can be a good match for her. We rarely stop loving people we truly care about. Even if we no longer continue the relationship, the feelings will continue... But love isn't mutually exclusive. We can (and do) love many people in our lives, and romantic love is really no different. Though he may love her immensely, there will likely be other people who have loved her just as much in her past, and will love her just as much in the future. The irony of
19148
Good-looking women get asked out by a lot of guys, those who are superficial and those who are nice.  So I guess a smaller percentage of the total guys who ask you out are the nice ones, so you have to work harder to sort them out of the crowd.
251982
Because they are not ready to settle down; they still whant adventure so they look for the "bad guys" to have fun. When they get older and they are ready to settle down, they look for a good guy.Same thing happens with us men.
934457
Some people don't learn their lesson soon enough.  They have to live with their poor choice for a while to know how bad it really is, and to recognize how good it can be with a nice guy.
460599
i would say nice guys don't have to be found they just come... you will find a nice guy just don't focus so much on looking for it.
1086821
Nice guys are normally gay.  What you need is a guy who is generaly not nice, but is nice to you.
692434
That's a hard question to answer. It sounds to me that you've been involved with the wrong men. Don't accept 2nd best and you'll eventually find that there are decent, genuine warm hearted guys out there.\n\nAnd try not to generalise or Typecast, we're all different!
70131
The debate of "nice guys vs. bad boys" has been raging for quite a long time. The nature of being a "nice guy", however, is commonly misunderstood. It is believed that being polite, considerate, friendly, tender, romantic, etc. is what being a "nice guy" is all about and thus those qualities should be avoided, as it is the "bad boy", the rude, the inconsiderate, the impolite, the rough guy who always gets the girl while the "nice guy" is waiting outside in the pouring rain with flowers in his hand.\n\nIt doesn't mean that women prefer rude over polite, inconsiderate over considerate, etc. It all becomes clear when we look at a very important issue often overlooked when trying to define what makes the "bad boys" beat the "nice guys" when it comes to getting the girls. It is sexuality - the "bad boys" are not afraid to show that they are sexual beings, while the "nice guys" hide their sexuality as a part of their agenda of being friendly, polite, and courteous towards women.
6176
If you are trying to say that girls/women are nice at the beginning and then not nice further into things...I would say guys can be the same way.\nIt takes time to truly get to know someone...and no one is perfect.
180453
Because they were told long ago that if you get a good job and have financial stablity that you will be able to get any woman you want. It simply isn't true, but some guys seem to be convinced that it is. I would hope that personality and kindness were more important.
629588
It's called a mercy or pity f**k.  I am in the last relationship of my life now, so I wouldn't do it.  But I have done it.  There are guys that are very sweet and nice but physically unattractive or geeky, and they have never and would never be laid if somebody compassionate didn't do them.  And they are everlastingly grateful.  How would you like to be someone's favorite fantasy for the rest of their life??
299315
Men have a goal. Once they hit that goal, you are no longer attractive. When you really put up a fight, or stand up for yourself by respecting yourself, he will too. But if you give up the 'goodies' real quick, he's gone.
724701
I think this works both ways.\n\nSome guys will always think a girl being nice to them is flirting with them.  They will try to pursue it and only get shot down.\n\nSome other guys (like me) always think girls are just being nice to them even when they are flirting or hitting on them.  We never try to pursue it and have to wait on the girl to come after us.\n\nI know guys that fall into the middle of course but most guys I know are one type or the other.  We really can not tell what you girls are doing most of the time, so we go to one extreme.
438923
It may seem like it, but eventually life experience will teach you that nice guys don't finish last, most young girls just have to through the illusion of the not so nice guys to realize how they really want to be treated. If you are truly a nice guy, don't let the disappointments of other peoples actions make you change...they'll need you before you need them and they'll be the losers when you are the successful one... by then, they won't matter to you. Check out the "gorgeous" girls 10 years from now!
687521
yeah thats the way to go but what if the girl goes for your looks and money? then what? also you have it all wrong...nice guys never finish last...its all a myth
384927
Because nine times out of ten the jerk has the nerve to go up to the girl and talk to her. Or that's been my experiance from tlaking to girls. They want the nice guy, but they want the nice guy to go and ask them out not just be-friend them and beat around the bush.
459882
Don't listen to the person above. Nice guys arent always left behind. It just takes more time to get ahead but once you get ahead you stay ahead. For starters don't ever change who you are just let some qualities fall and others high light them more. Let say if you always hold the door for someone then one day don't. I can guarantee that you will respect yourself everytime you hold it after that. Just by making the smallest gestures you can change someone's life so don't think its going un noticed its just foggy right now. My website is below