how do i stop being so controlling in my relationship?
117137
try giving her some more room, let her go out with just the girls one night this weekend, see if it hurts you too bad. also, listen to what she has to say. next time you go out, let her choose where you go. (don't try everything all at once, letting go of the control will take steps.) also, remember she has the final say on her body... idk if this has anything to do with your question, but just so you know...\n\ngood luck
133936
I am sure you already know that people are not things to be owned. But maybe you can think of it this way, If you control the other you will take everything that they bring into the relationship. Their will becomes your will and therefore they loose their own will. It cannot be fun interacting with someone who has no will of their own. You will quickly find yourself very lonely since they have given you all of themself.\nThe most healthy relationship will be the one where trust is. Where neither attempts to control the other. \nWhat right do you have to control someone else?\nWhat right does anyone else have to control you?\nYou can certianly give that right. But by doing so you loose your will.
906524
Acutally you hit upon the problem you said he manipulates you, that's NOT love.  That is seeking control and that IS a type of abuse, that usually turns into physical abuse later on.  What you should do is to decide if you want to be with someone who would stoop to manipulate and control you and possibly get physically violent with you later on in the relationship or if you want to be with someone who loves you for who you are and appreciates and respects you.  It's your call.
665439
With me and my fiance it takes turns. I could potentially have all the control because he is so easy going but I don't like to do that so I always make sure we both get our say and always listen to his opinions and make sure we are both happy. it is all about comprimise at the end of the day.
381525
You need to get a grip on yourself. This kind of behavior is what drives people away. Trust is key in a relationship. If you do not trust him and he has given you no reason to doubt him, then you need to let it go.
439938
If you figure it out, please let me know!  I am trying to do that myself.  It has taken me about a month of being on my own to actually be able to look back and realize little things in our relationship that could have been better, and that is helping.  It is also helping that I am starting to see him not as the perfect person I thought he was, and that I am getting angry with his behavior.  But even after being angry and noticing flaws in our relationship, I still love him, and I have no idea how to stop that.
335244
Get out while you can.  If he's already controlling and possessive -- it's only going to get worse.  Find yourself a better man!
153723
I have the same problem.  Someone told me I need to control it... but it isn't as easy as it sounds...
517148
Girlfriend, your like me caught up in the rapture of uncertainty. We want to leave but afraid deep down inside to make that move. Our insecurities allow us to not be more clear in our train of thoughts and we make sudden decisions without thinking them through. You are scared to let go but at some point you have to realize it is what it is, he is a cheater and he's possessive and somewhat controlling. You left and that was the first  step, now move on.\nMEN ARE LIKE A BUS ONE COMES EVERY 5 MINUTES YOU CAN RIDE THE BUS TO THE END OR DO AS YOU HAVE DONE GET OFF AND CATCH THE NEXT ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
127514
Girl, I know how you feel. If this is occuring on more than one occassion then slack off. Don't hound about it. And first and far most PLEASE YOURSELF. You deserve that first of all. Take the time off to PAMPER yourself and then he/she might take notice. If that doesn't work then it is some questions you need to ask about your relationship and where it is going.  I feel you should at least have or get an answer so you can better understand and deal with this issue.  Peace
524345
trying to be controlling...\ndon't let him...\nmy boyfriend tried that too.....but he didn't get his way...
374461
Actually you have rights.  Nobody can take anything from you unless you let them.  So you are in control.  How about this.  I'd suggest that you do something just for youself every single day.  Start by taking a few minutes, say 5 or so.  Make that your time to do nothing except relax.  Make that time completely yours, no interruptions, not answerable to anyone at all.  It is yours, and yours alone.\n\nWhat I do is go for a short walk, something like that, all by myself.  It is fantastic, because you are in control.  And that is the point, it starts with you taking control of your own life and your own choices.  Then, gradually, you do things for others because you WANT to do them, not because you somehow think you HAVE to do them.\n\nStay happy.  Stay nice.
142003
Don't take it any more.  You need to leave and get out of this relationship as fast as you can.  No one deserves to be treated like that.  You deserve to be in a real relationship where someone loves you and treats you with respect.
430928
Dump him.  hahahaha just kidding.\n\nMaybe a few nights out with the girls will get him to stop taking you for granted, which is what I think you are telling me is going on.  When he starts to notice, don't be stubborn, don't deny it, say plainly, "Why shouldn't I?  You are taking me for granted!"  You might even walk out of the room to drive your point home.  Stay gone.\n\nGet in touch with him the next day and apologize for your "tantrum".  (if this is unlike you, all the better).  Let him know that you care about him and let him know you still want to do "special" things for him, but you can't be expected to stick around if he doesn't demonstrate his appreciation.\n\nDon't make a habit of fighting like this.  If he gets it, he gets it.  If he doesn't... well, I'm single. =)
906932
Interesting.  I just broke up with my stubborn boyfriend who also is very mean when he drinks.  Although he is one stubborn guy, he acknowleged that he was a person he didn't want to be when he drinks.  He made a big effort to cut back, at least around me, and it did help.  I think it says a lot about your relationship if he isn't willing to at least TRY to cut back.  It's not like you are asking him to stop having a good time, if he's mean, that is just not okay and it shouldn't be accepted.  I'd suggest talking to a couples counselor.
670435
Sounds like you are over-compromising and not being yourself. If you always do what she wants, how can she do what you want and why would she?! A relationship should be give and take but if someone can get away with making no effort etc, then they are going to. Start suggesting what you want to do, don;t always agree with everything she says. It might also make you a bit more exciting to her again. That is not about being raised right - you can still be polite etc but just about being yourself not a doormat.
179416
He may not be interested or just likes to have control of the relationship and if so....you dont need a control freak