Any mom's out there who left their husband and children?  Why?
116019
I haven't but sometimes i think about it.When me & hubby are fighting and kids are really trying me. The reason  id leave them with him is cause he would be able to provide bettter for them on his own. I have no skills and would only make minimum wage. And in todays time Its not possible to support 3 kids while making minimum wage.
332464
Honey, it's a tough situation all the way around. You both need to find a way to sit the kids down together and have a full blown disscussion. The kids are going to need reassurances from both of you that you both will still be active in their lives and that what is going on is not their fault. Both of you as parents need to make sure that both kids know that they can count on you and come to you whenever they need to. If it were me,as a mom of 3, I would put aside whatever has caused the seperation and call a meeting with my kids and my husband and do exactly as I said above.
51417
I have been in this same situation.  This is not advice, but how it transpired for me.  My ex-wife was not good for myself and my two sons.  I left her.  I had those same exact thoughts and dilemma on what to pray for. Take her back and get the good and the really bad.  Or go solo with two young children and deal with loneliness and single parent struggles.  What I realized was that my ex-wife was not doing what I believe was the will of GOD. And that was to take care of us and do what was pleasing to GOD.  So I opted to take the less traveled road and not go back. 14 years have passed since then.  I still have my sons.  I have my second wife now going on 12 years.  I have an adopted daughter who is almost 4.  My life is tremendously better than it was back then.  Why? I found a person who REALLY loved my sons and myself unconditionally. Also, she was a real living example of a Christian.  By the way, her first husband ditched her after she sent him through numberous colleges.  Funny how GOD works. Sometimes your answers will come in the most unusual ways.  GOD gives insight and wisdom to get you through. Take Care of yourself. You will do what is right.  Just remember, there can be great gain by experiencing loss.  Also, I am not an advocate of divorce. However, it is necessary for the welfare of the children and yourself if your spouse hardens their heart with no recourse after much prayer and pleading.
778157
I would really keep an eye on this ~ Sometimes men feel rejected or left out when there are small children around (and especially when there is a newborn or one on the way) ~ My husband did things like this and I ended up just having to talk to him about it and letting him know that it is not OK.  If you have an issue with it, he should stop doing whatever it is that upsets you.  His first priority is YOU and his children and NOT his first wife.  For him to not tell you until days later is selfish and also shows that he is trying to hide it from you.  My question would be to ask yourself, what else is he hiding?  My husband on the other hand does not do this anymore because I had to keep reminding him that his first priority must be me and the children or else he can just leave.. .Our children are more grown up and independent now, however,  If we didn't have our kids to argue about, we wouldn't argue about anything.  ~ It just takes time and alot of adjustment.  We have been married for 9 years.
959158
This is tragic.\n\nI am very sorry for what has happened.\n\nI feel frankly that you probably should go back with your momma. Your husband is being silly and throwing away a good woman. Moving your life is hard and he didn't seem to realize that not everyone can just pack up and leave. You were sick as well, so how dare he?\n\nIsn't he supposed to respect and love you? You have held your end of the bargan. He has failed with his. I would definatly move back with momma and divorce him. If he isn't willing to work it out and cheats...there really is little hope.
1055168
Well, I am kinda in the same situation you are.\nI am the one that moved away from my 2 boys.\nIt was about 6 years ago. I am Disabeld and even though it was hard for me to leave them behind, I thought it was the best thing for them at the time. Anyway, I drive about 75 miles while the boys Dad drives about 45. He always seems to complain even though I drive further. Ido this because I am the one that moved away \nI remarried a man that just happened to have lived 115 miles away. Because I am the one that made this move choice, I feel that I am the one that should drive further. It was my decision and the ex was never consulted and to be honest, he is doing me the favor to even meet me at all. I would keep it the way it is. Good luck!
601971
I am sorry, but that is pretty much the stupidest reason I have ever heard for leaving your husband esp. if you gots kids - you need some serious help...
566077
Leave then lol :(tear.....why did you go? lol
641183
You know i have been through this situation myself.  I'm not proud.  We just kind of drifted apart after the same amount of time as you, but were only separated for about 2 months.  I really liked the feeling of freedom and meeting other people.  I still think of a certain someone now and then, especially when my husband and i get into arguments about petty stuff.  I think "why did i even come back"?  Then i realize that he has put up with all my crap and it would be so hard to start all over and put effort into a new relationship.  I also think about my kids and in today's society kids need the guidance of both parents.  Anyway, i really do love my husband, it's just sometimes its fun to think of what could have been.  \nI'm not saying all marriages are to stay together for the sake of the children, it's just if you really love each other, you need to try and get passed the other man.\n\nTry to do things with your husband, take time for yourselves.  Go to the movies out to eat, or even spend time at the park with the kids(if it applies).  And just when you feel an argument coming on think and sometimes prayer comes in handy(if you are religious). \n\nGood luck. i wish you the best.
142567
been there, done that.  your asking for a lot of grief.  just the age situation with the children is a burdon, not to mention the difference between your "going to be" and you.  you yourself said your not mature enough to make a decision...let that alone be a guide for you.  first time marrages are tough enough these days, let alone the second time around ones.  i have had experiance with taking on "the others" kids and it is very difficult to relate to them, win them over, have commonalities with them and just simply get close to them.  and if they are close to you in age i'd think there would be little for them to look up to.  kids are hard to win over when your trying to "replace" their mom or pop.  I'd think hard on this one before I jumped into the fire.  good luck.
1136149
Wow. How hard for everyone involved. You are one strong woman for thinking about what is best in this situation. I know it feels like that is wrong that your husband doesn't want this child over but I am sure it is a reminder of things he would like to leave in the past. \nIf your husband doesn't want him in your home, then you are going to have to respect that decision.  Your husband is the one missing out on seeing this child. \n\nTalk to him, though.Tell him that you hate seeing this other child growing up without a father. That he should step up and be a man and be the father that you know he can be, that he should be and that he is to the other children in his life.\nIt is not that child's fault that he was born into the situation that he is in. \nTell your husband that he should have thought about that sooner .You are not mistreating that child. Your husband is.\nMaybe you could start with trying for a once a month day over or something like that. Or even if you can't get your husband to agree to that, then at least try and get him to spend some one on one time with that child out somewhere.\nHopefully he will come around\nGood Luck!!
110071
NO there isn't a way to get your life back because now you need to keep your kids' welfare in mind for every single decision.  BUT that doesn't mean you cannot still enjoy yourself.  A lot of it is getting your priorities in order and making decisions WITHOUT worrying about what other people think.  Of course, that's as long as your marriage is going well and your kids are healthy, happy, and safe.  If you are the type that doesn't mind leaving your kids with a sitter/caregiver so you can go shop, work, get your nails done, hang at the beach, party - whatever - then find someone you trust and do it.  If leaving your kids with someone while you go somewhere makes you feel rather guilty or just not right, then don't do it.\n\nYOU decided what your life will be like, to heck with critics.  If you are taking care of yourself, your husband. AND your kids, then you have got things going well.\n\nI have 3 kids and I am married.  I admit I chose to give up a lot to stay at home with the younger 2 b/c we can't afford for me to go back to work!  But I did keep my volleyball playing - which I NEVER intended to give up.  People tell me all the time I should be home with my kids instead of v-balling and others tell me I should go back to work b/c that's what should be done.\n\nAs long as you remember you're a mom and do not go overboard, you should be fine and happy.  Good luck!
1171346
I have been married 23 years. In the last six my husband has spent a lot time being unemployed, ran off a few times, then wants to come back. But each time he ran off I did better without him. For example two years ago when he left, we were living in a small rural community. I decided since he was gone, to move to a larger city. After I did, I worked two jobs. He lived with us (my kids and I) for awhile, sitting around painting pictures and making promises to get a job. In February, we got a large tax refund. While I was at work, he took off with $1500 he never earned! I decided after that to stop trusting him and take care of myself. I enrolled in a vocational school, a decision I've never regretted. He still wants me back, but doesn't want to live in this city. My kids totally hate him. I think I can do much better without him, even though I may be alone for the rest of my life. (I'm done with relationships)
461678
If you are staying in a relationship for your children, you are making a big mistake! I did the same thing and have regretted it since! When I left my ex-husband, it took awhile, but eventually my children were much happier. He can still be a part of their lives. Make yourself happy and your children will be happy!\nHave you ever heard the saying, "if mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy!" It is very true!
365432
I'm in a similar situation with 3 kids (2,5,7).  At first I thought it would be better to be with a never-married single w/o kids; now I feel that it's better to be with a divorced man with or without kids because of the similar understanding and bad experience of divorce as well as the willingness and commitment to NEVER be divorced again, especially if someone has kids, there are too many people's lives our decisions are affecting.  I also need answers...thanks for asking and good luck!
464203
Hey, you know, I am kind of in the same boat as you are, except for I have pretty much gone through having to hear my ex-husband cry to me every single time that I spoke with him to let me know how much is missed me.  I have two young boys with him, and believe me, it has been really hard, but thanks to my dear boyfriend who I now love a lot I have made it through.  I have been thinking about living with my boyfriend too, as my divorce will be in June, but it seems like I can't wait that long.  I don't know, but I just know that women seem to want things done much quicker and we don't like to wait to get what we want.  I would say to do what your heart tells you to do.
528211
wow.  I can't believe you would separate yourself from your kid.  I want to be around my kids all the time.  Sounds like you are being selfish.  You must see your kids as being too much work, so you send them off half way around the world.  Maybe you shouldn't breed anymore.  Save the little love you have left for the 18 month old.