How does a woman try to make friends with a man without it coming across as hitting on them?
112523
You know when you're flirting.  Don't worry about it.  Just be real with him and hang out like normal friends.  He won't think anything of it as long as you truely aren't hitting on him.
152813
Smiling is a good way for her to know that your approach is friendly, not hostile.  If you know anything about her, ask her about that -- like does she play any sports, or is she into music or drama?  Just get her talking and really listen to what she has to say.  Hopefully you share some interests and can become friends based on that.  \n\nBe confident and don't pretend to be something you're not -- that never works out, because either she'll find out your faking, or else you'll grow to resent not being yourself.  Good Luck!
1057129
try your nearest library or bookstore if you like to read too, and just plainly start up a conversation that makes sense to the one person that grabs your attention. or similarly, wherever you like to hang out. That's what a guyd would do, and if you think that is courageous, pls, you are already a single mom, what could be more courageous already! think about it, you are strong woman and can do this on your own too if you had to, just be selective and go sensible about it. rejection is no big deal, not interested is no big deal, chance to make "just friends" a real plus, chance to find that good man, well hey, that's BINGO
431963
You probably come off as unapproachable. or even cold.\nIf guys are hitting on you, it would seem that you are attractive to men.\nCheck your body language, maybe you give the impression, that you don't care for them.\nSurely there is some guy, who has flirted with you, that you may like to see more. If it happens again, be more open, and perhaps suggest you both go for a coffee or something. Then just be yourself.\nAll it takes is practice, you won't hit a home run every time, but at least you will out there trying.
971623
Lol. Hi. I am lesbian, I must look good to guys because a lot of them keep hitting on me. So no, you can not tell, and in the end, it does not matter. If she is a lesbian and you approach her as a friend, she may be perfectly happy to be your friend. I have a lot of straight guy friends. But if you want more than that, she will just be flattered and let you know you are knocking at the wrong door. Either way, it is fine. After all, gay people and straight people are only people. :)
53539
Men tend to notice women with confidence.  Be confident in yourself, hold yourself high, and he'll take notice.\n\nPerhaps even try to initiate a friendship with the person.
505469
It is always increasingly difficult to find a new relationship the older we get.\nIf you are well-liked as a friend then that is a bonus as many people can't even get friendship.\nHave you considered asking a close woman friend why she thinks you are having trouble? sometimes just seeing yourself from the womans point of view can be a great help.\n\nAre you coming across as desperate? maybe they think you don't care who you with and will settle for anyone that can be off-putting.\nI think you need to build up your feelings of self worth and self respect also cos to describe yourself as unattractive shows you don't think much of yourself.\n\nYou need to make the most of these friendships and get advice from any of the women you trust and realise that just like in job interviews you have to sell yourself to potential new friendships no-one wants to feel they are "better than nothing"
719427
It's called flirting or friendship.
40526
Guys are clueless (at least I was).  I had many women friends in high school and college that I thought were just friends.  Only later did I find out that some of them wanted to be more than just friends.\n\nSometimes a guy is just trying to be friends because he thinks that is the best way to start a relationship ... by being friends.\n\nI definitely had my "dog" days but I genuinely liked women as friends.\n\nSo, as the first poster suggested, get to know him.  Depending on your age, try just hanging out with him and talking to him.  He's not some alien from another planet.  Guys often like women who can talk to them.\n\nTry group activities that involve him or casual things: tennis, a hike, bowling, coffee, ice cream, lunch.\n\nGet to know him and let him get to know who you really are.  Don't change to please him.  Be yourself.\n\nAnd if you find yourself getting along really well, who knows where it will go.  He may be your first kiss.  You may find out he's not interested in women or girls.\n\nBut the first thing you have to do is to put yourself on his radar.  And don't expect things to happen "over night".\n\nGood luck.
141187
Don't worry about it there is someone for everyone, instead of worrying about it just simply project a smile everyday and a positive attitude and watch the flood gates open when you start to get approached by men wanting to get to know you....choose someone that you would like to be your friend first verses your lover and the love will surely come...be your true self and not some fake female that he may want you to be...and then let the cards fall where they may.....
499540
A woman's not going to have sex with you to be friendly. If she accepts dates you want to take her on, answers your calls/calls you back, kisses you when you kiss her, LETS you kiss her.. I'd say you're on the right track.
147148
you have to be subtle. you can not be straght forward because it shows that you are desperate. become their friend.... then gradually ask them if they are single.... then start getting closer to them... it works every time!
334049
No absolutely not. I wish there were more men like you. Who strictly wanted to be friends. You are just looking for an opinion from a woman's point of view. There is nothing wrong with that. There should be more men like you!
361556
Don't dress provocatively and maybe people won't flirt.\nMaybe you are not close enough with your man and letting others slide in.\nMaybe you are hanging out in the wrong places or with the wrong people.
649910
Do not self sabotage yourself! If he is talking to you, regardless, if its to get close to you or your friend, the ball is in your court, play it!!! Make sure he sees what a great person you are when your talking to one another. This is to your advantage. And as far as that friend goes, I think she is a secret admirer of yours (not in the gay way). Apparently, she probably thinks about you like you think about her. They say "coping is the highest form of flattery'!!! I know its annoying, but there is just one you and people are quick to pick up on who is the "copycat"! Now lets work on your self esteem. If you think your the things you wrote in your question, you will be that person. You have to believe in yourself. You have to promote self confidence. You are waaaay to hard on you! If there is something about yourself that needs changing, do it. There is so many tools a woman has access to in this day and time, not to achieve exactly what she needs and wants. So, start small and work up. Try to tell yourself during the day, "you are pretty, and interesting, and deserve as much or more than anyone you know." After awhile, you will look in the mirror and that person, you have been talking about will be there! I promise!!!
326417
I think we women are way more obvious when we flirt than men are.  Do you catch her looking at you?  Smiling and laughing at the silliest things you say?  Start by doing things together out of work.  Going for a quick drink after work.  Meeting with others from work for drinks or dinner.  Pay close attention and ask questions, you'll figure it out.  :o)
580436
you can try breaking the ice by commenting on something you know she likes, enjoys or is familiar with. you can also complement her, only if you are sincere...we can tell when men are not, on something about her that attracted you (be specific). as to reception, you really can't control that. the best you can do is always be sincere, forthright and not too pushy. when the moment is right things will fall into place.