What can I do if I think my husband of 17 years has falling out of love with me?
110962
maybe he wants to be able to try and do things for himself now that he's better.. and not feel like an invalid.. some men don't like to feel they can't do for themselves..you cared for him and nursed him back to health, just because he doesn't need or want your assistants as much don't mean he doesn't love you.. and if he's not so compassionate, maybe be you are overwhelming him with wanting to do for him so much or getting over emotional about it.. you should try to stop nurseing him and help him along with emotional support, love and understanding..when he needs your help, he'll ask for it.. Good Luck.. it's time to take care of yourself now..
250544
Just be honest with him. Tell him that you don't love him anymore. Because if you aren't happy then your child will know it. No matter how young he/she might be. Children can sense when things aren't "right"! DON'T EVER STAY WITH SOMEONE JUST BECAUSE YOU HAVE A CHILD BY THEM! If your not happy, your child won't be happy!
47682
He's lost interest.Move on and find someone who loves you.
644567
Maybe he's at a lost point in his life \n\nI think the best that you can really do is just let him go\n\non the plus side 4 and 1/2 years and he loves you \nHe'll be back..Don't worry to much. Just keeep close friends around
179038
I am sort of in your situation, but in reverse.  I have started falling out of love with my husband.  I don't want to, and am trying very hard to prevent it.  I will tell you right now, I know why I feel the way I do, and have tried to tell him, but he just sees it as my nagging him.  When someone does something that hurts you, I believe that you should let them know so that he/she has the opportunity to recognize when it happens again, then stop it, or apologize if it does.  Well, the way it started with me: The failed attempts at communication and the fact that he acts like he doesn't have to lift a finger to keep this going...keep the flame alive so to speak.  I can tell you right now that the main reason why I am here is because I made a commitment to this man, but if I had not, I would have left him already.   Have you "listened" to your wife?  Does she feel loved?  Don't think that just because you come home to her every night she should feel priveliged.  Actually "make" her feel loved by doing the little things.  Open her doors (even as independent as some women are, this is still a sign of wanting to take care of her), write her a note, buy a card or flowers.  Take her out on "dates" even the movies is great.  Just hang out with her and talk about nothing, but have have fun.  She should be your best friend, the person you can joke and carry-on with...act dumb and laugh at and with each other.  Just let her know every day that you love her...genuinely.  Do not ever leave her or hang up the phone with a "byeloveyou".  Tell her "I love you and I will see you soon".  A lot of times the way you say something and the tone of voice say a lot.  If you are geniune, and let her know in your actions that you want to be there with her and be the one to take care of her, then she will do the same for you.  I may know what she is going through.  My husband says he loves me but more than not, I feel taken for granted and like an annoyance.  I can feel myself not wanting him anymore, and I can honestly say that I love him, but I am no longer in love with him. If you love your wife, give it everything you can with all of your heart.  Don't let her leave you (either physically or emotionally) thinking "I should have".
692936
This is a seemingly growing problem. Years ago people were together more. Now it seems we barely get time to say hi and bye. Life has changed the dynamics of relationships these days. However, it doesn't mean it's impossible to reconnect on an intimate level with your hubby.\n    You asked can you fall out of love with your hubby after 5 years? And the answer is a simple, Yes. Can you also reconnect and fall back in love? Again a simple YES! \n  The first step was the realization that there is a problem. The next step and maybe the hardest step is to change the way things are. In order to make changes, (and I know I have said this before, but I think it's worth saying again) You have to do the exact opposite of what you are doing now. Which means stop doing what you are currently doing, it's not working! You mentioned you had no "us" time, and that is what I would start with first. MAKE COUPLE TIME! Put your child to bed and sit down and watch a movie together. Try to go to bed together and if nothing else, just cuddle. Talk about your day, and how you can make tomorrow better. You each need to talk about your dreams, goals, and what you want for the future. You each will have separate goals, but you will also need goals as a couple. \nI would also recommend counseling. You can use your pastor, (if you have one) A close family friend with whom you trust and can be neutral, or a professional counselor.\nOther things that you might want to try is a "date" night for you and hubby. Get a babysitter (one you trust) and go away for the weekend once every 3-6 months. Spend quality time together as a couple. it doesn't have to cost a fortune. All you need is a desire to want things to change and a creative mind. I wish you all of the best!
1025223
I think you already know.  You are not happy in this marriage, your husband doesn't care about your feelings at all.   You don't see any way to get him to change and you don't want to live this way.  I don't like to recommend divorce but if all you say is true than I think that would be the best thing if you want a happy future for yourself.
1151151
My guess is your hubby has no idea you are this unhappy.  I don't think your hubby misrepresented himself, I think he was trying his best for you to be with him.  Now that you are, he stopped trying.  Time for a serious conversation.  Honey, I am unhappy, I want to work through this but I need some things to change.  Let him know the things he used to do were important to you.  Let him know one of the reasons you were so certain he was right for you was that he did the little loving gestures, and you miss them.  Tell him you need to hugs and kisses during the day, and more of a lead up to sex than "take your clothes off".  Seriously, you can prepare yourself too, read a sexy book before bed time, think about what excites you, buy some toys for you and hubby to use, watch a dirty movie together.  My guess is since you are so unhappy you haven't taken the time to make hubby feel special either.   I think if you pay him more attention, he may do more of the same.  \nNow to be harsh, you are not with a fantasy man, no one is perfect, stop expecting him to be.  I am sure he doesn't think you are perfect either.   You sound very young, try to be more mature. I think you are saying you were rebounding when you met your hubby, that is your fault not his.\nHonestly though, if you work together and communicate,   I think you can make your marriage work.  Stop thinking about what you want but don't have, start thinking of what you have and how to make it better.  Try to be happy and work with what you have.  \nWe all have moments of doubt, that is normal.  But if you love and respect your hubby and he does the same, you can build something wonderful.  Don't look for the easy way out, try to figure out how to fix your problems (a lot of what you said sounds like your issues not his).  His telling you he didn't cheat but came close, is him letting you know he is not happy either, what can you do to make him feel special and wanted?  In a marriage it is not all about you, it is about "us".  \nHope I helped, good luck!
235876
Whats next? Think about it! If for one moment he thinks he's losing control of you an attempt on your life could follow. Happens every day. Good Luck.
726853
I'm sorry for you.   I'm going thru something similar, but with 20 years together.  You might never have a reason why this happened.   I've found accepting that I can't MAKE him give me an answer or tell me the truth takes away a lot of the stress.  \n\nThere must be some little things that are better with him gone, though.   Something as small as having your room the way you like it now.   You may never stop loving him, but you will move on.  If you don't, you're wasting the life you have left!   There's so much more to do and see yet.   \n\nStrengthen you relationship with your kids (if you have any), and with your friends.   If you don't have friends, get out and do something you love and you'll meet some new ones.  \n\nI don't know how longs it's been for you, but at 2.5 month for me I can say that I'm really happy most of the time.   I couldn't have imagined that only a few weeks ago!\n\nGood luck to you, and don't stay home or in bed all day!  Force yourself to get out and do things or go places
1014496
I'M 46 YEARS OLD AND I STILL REMEMBER WHAT IT WAS LIKE TO BE 17. (WOW! I'M OLD) IT'S PRETTY NORMAL TO BE WITHDRAWN AT THAT AGE. I NEVER TALKED TO ANY ONE UNTIL I'M MOVED OUT ON MY OWN...THEN YOU COULDN'T SHUT ME UP!\nADVISE? BE PATIENT WITH HIM, PAY ATTENTION TO ANY POTENTIAL PROBLEMS (PEER PRESSURE, MAJOR DEPRESSION, DRUGS) AND FIND A WAY TO LET HIM KNOW YOU LOVE HIM.\nGOOD LUCK!
305600
talk to him. explain to him what went wrong. if he truly loves you, he will understand you!
302165
It doesn't sound like you are being taken for a fool. You are describing consistent and positive changes in your husband's behavior. What a blessing! It's so refreshing to see a couple get the help they need. If you're not ready to live together again yet, how about courting each other? Maybe you need a totally fresh start. Go on dates and get to know each other again. And go on family outings. Be up front with your kids that you and daddy love each other and are trying to work things out. I believe in time you will see that he truly has changed for the better. Give your marriage a chance. I think you're going to be very happy!\n\nGod Bless!
728466
Not sure how old either of You are... but just do the best you can do, until either you find a way to be with him.. or until You both decide to just call it quits... and good luck, i know You must be hurting alot right now... *hugs*
1084680
It could be the age difference also. When you have to wonder if it is over then usually it is or either on it's way to being over. You two need to find out what is pulling you apart and why no more happiness in the marriage. Talk, talk and talk more that is the key to getting to the problem. .
594152
Hunni, find your nearest womens shelter, they will take you in and advise you as what you do next.  Get the hell out now, please do not cave in when he tells you that he loves you and that he will change.  they never do.  Please just go get some help.  These women are very supportive and will protect you, until you can get a court order and hopefully get the hell away from him for good.\n\nGood luck sweetie..and Big hugs
753937
How long have you been together, and living together?  Did this just start, or has it been an ongoing problem?  I would ask him what's going on and suggest counseling if it's bad enough to start affecting your everyday lives!  Good luck!