how come and how can I stop thinking about having sex with a co-worker-my friend-she's straight me 2....?
109167
You're just sexu_ally infatuated. I don't think it can stop. I guess you could "flush the pipes" before going to work, I'm sure you already tried. Can you like, go for it and start going out? Listen to your body... I think I remember feelings like that in my younger years... It's actually an agony. I guess you need to find more excitement in your life outside of work, that way your need for an exciting adventure is not channeled at work. You should join some activities outside of work and dedicate yourself for several months. Also if you try some exercise like biking or swimming (or spinning at the gym), it'll take the wind out of ya.
855005
I think the real question is, why do you fantasize about being another guy's sex slave? You have to start from the beginning. Maybe you should see a therapist; talking to a qualified person would surely help you solve your problem...\n\nBut for now you gotta stop doing this immediately [or leave her, but that would be stupid cause she's a REAL person and the two of you are in love...] before she gets badly hurt. You can't have a girlfriend *and* online relationships! It doesn't matter if you're having cybersex with men or women, either way it's gonna crush her if she finds out, it's just as bad as cheating...\n\nGood luck with that, I hope everything works out for you ;)
789110
Well I'm one of those fags (bundle of sticks)!!  The girl sounds awesome by the way, and I just want to ask you (since your obviously an expert when it comes to woman...so not!) do you know the real reason why straight girls associate with gay men?  They know that a real man is secure in his manhood to not get hung up on the whole "who she hangs out with" concept.  That may however be to hard for your pea size intelect to wrap around so looks like there is just no hope for you.  This girl is just way to much of a woman for you to handle so I would just leave her to the professionals, and step aside cause your a being a road block.
809617
What you are - you are you - a unique individual - with feelings different from anyone else and experiences only you have had. \nYou need to do some thinking/soulsearching - You don't need to have sex with a guy to work out if you are bi/lesbian! Do 'straight' people have gay affairs to realise they are straight? No! \nFirstly - Are you attracted to men? Have you thought, imagined longed to be held by a man, for him to make love to you? How do feel about penises? Testicles, firm muscles and chest hair? Think about these and note your reactions inside, what you truly feel. \nRepulsed, intriguged, wanting etc. You say you have a girlfriend -  but don't rush to label yourself - I've seen people announce they are lesbians then later regret it a few years/months down the line because they are attracted to both sexes. \nI'm a lesbian I've never slept with a guy because a)it repulsed me the whole penis thing and b) I've never, ever been attracted to a man. I always preferred womens company, friendship and I was attracted to women before I knew what lesbian or gay even meant.\nIs it your friends that have more issues with this? I know we are in the 21st century but sadly some friends can never accept slight degrees of difference, you need to be one thing or the other - you don't - you have to be what you want to be. \nI advise doing an internet search on the Lesbian and Gay Switchboard finding the one local to you (they are everywhere Brighton, Lancaster, Birmingham, London, Isle of Mann etc) - emailing or telephoning them - perhaps getting some support from qualified staff and support group information. You stay strong and don't rush into anything - the most important question - What do you want? Who do you want to be?
544961
Actually, you CAN you know! It's a question as to whether or not you WANT to stop fantasising....You could try this though - Next time you're in class, and the thought comes into your mind, quite deliberately think of (picture) her with about 5 kids around her, big fat belly, and a smoke hanging out of her mouth!!!!!!!!!! Or, whatever you want to picture (a pretty girl your own age) The point is, if you decide you are in charge of what you're thinking/picturing, you CAN be in control of what's going on! Good luck, Mr. turned-on!!!!!!!
851208
Tell her you don't mind being friends with her, but you have absolutely no intentions of being involved sexually with the opposite sex.  Let her know you don't swing that way and her actions are starting to make you feel uncomfortable.  I also like what you said about she's trying to turn you into something your not.  Say that to her too!  Good luck.
1028306
Well first of all Mike, how sure are you that you are bisexual? And although I used to feel the same as you in that belief being gay is wrong, and not the way to lead life. Although I personally would not want to choose to be this way I don't have a problem being friends with a bi person. You sometimes can't help the urges in you..as to the question why you might feel this way..it can never be answered, and if it can you must look deep inside of you.. Being gay or bi sexual does not make you any less of a person and if you are you cannot change that. Instead of repressing your feelings try opening up with close people around you, start off slow with that process. If you really want to be str8 try counseling or therapy it may help.
703089
Its normal to feel this way. The type of friendship that you two have is very beautiful. However, if you find yourself too close to her or attracted to her physically, you may want to question your sexuality. Other than that, you're cool!
414480
I guess I'm missing something. You want to tell him? You want to hang out with him? You just don't hang out with straight people? Or co-workers? You're 18 and a lot of your friends are going to come from work, school, neighbors or parties. It's a fact. If you consider him a co-worker with no friend potential, nothing to worry about. You two have a lot in common already with your work situation. If you have a chance at a freind, don't turn it down. Everybody can handle one more friend.
363843
Perhaps you are being a little insecure about the situation. Working in the same establishment as your significant other tends to put extra stress on relationships. I would suggest that you look for work elsewhere. Also, keep in mind who she comes home with each night, you. You may want to mention to her that several of the co-workers indicated to you that they felt she was "hitting on them". Maybe she is just really friendly and those guys are misunderstanding that to be flirting. I have noticed alot over the years that whenever I am nice to guy, such as make small talk with him, that he asks me out or gives me his number. Alot of men confuse being nice for flirting. They think because a girl is nice to them that she is hitting on them, which is not always the case. It's hard to see that going on, so I would suggest having a little chat with her about it and find a job elsewhere and that will relieve alot of the stress you are going rhrough. Couples can spend TOO much time together and then little things start to cause undue stress in their relationship. Good luck with this issue.
989023
I think what she meant by ,'...and then realize I'm really straight' is that since she is confused right now, then she comes out and goes through all that, then she understands that she really was straight the whole time and it was just the girl in the three way.  But I do have to say to you suntan that if you have been having feelings about girls, other than the one you were with, how far off can you be?  I do have a suggestion.  A couple of people have eluded to this suggestion, but none have said it.  Why don't you date a girl for a while and not tell anyone.   Then if things get serious you can bring her around to a few people you can trust to feel out your friends.  You don't even have to tell them that you have always felt this way.  You can say you met her and something happened, you had to be with her.  Something like that, in your words of course!  Then maybe they will accept it easier and if your first relationship doesn't work out the door will already be open for another girl if you choose.  That's what I'd do anyway.  Good luck!  It looks like you are getting some great answers and support on here.  I really hope it all works out for you, truly.  I wish I could hug you!\n\nOh and remember, there is no shame in being bisexual.  I am not saying you are, but if that is what you end up feeling do not fight it, it's ok.
359125
Here are some questions to help you think about this.  I know it's hard to see your friends objectively, especially when you're attracted to them.  Still, try and be honest and ask:\n\nIs she likely to tell someone else what you've said to her? (Does she tell you the secrets of her other friends?  If so, you can't really trust her with yours)\n\nIs she single?  (If she's not single, the answer is no, don't tell her.  She'll tell her boyfriend- and even if she doesn't tell him, there's no future in it)\n\nIs she serious about an anti-gay religion? \n\nHas she ever mentioned any curiosity about lesbianism?\n\nOkay- my honest opinion is that it's a bad idea.  It's a rare friend that will be able to handle that kind of confession without getting weird.  As with most friends, a sexual attraction isn't worth losing the friendship, especially if you can't really see yourself going into an all-out lesbian relationship. As it stands, you're going to confess you want to hook up with her- for what benefit?  Say she's interested in experimenting with you.  You hook up, and then what?  Are you still friends?  Will you be jealous when she still wants to have sex wiht other people?  Think about the long term consequences.  \n\nWhat if she isn't interested at all?  At best, she'll pity you, and mistake all your friendly overtures in the future as attempts at seduction or puppy love.   \n\nBest case scenarios: you tell her, you hook up, you both discover that this works for you and you start a long-term committed sexual relationship.  Or, you hook up, one night only, you both think it's fun but agree you both need a dick for full satisfaction, end of story.  \n\nChances are these fairy tale endings in which you're both on the same page won't happen, and you'll lose a good friend in the process.
754494
dude. she's there.  it was a stupid move on your part but the longer you keep it up the more damaging it's going to be in the long run.  Suppose she decides to try and hook you up with one of her gay friends?\n\nCome clean, admit you didn't want her to feel threatened but you realized you weren't being very honest.\n\nYou don't have to tell her EVERYTHING.  (Leave the "I thought you were hot so I acted gay so you'd move in and I could bang you" part out. :-)  Just confess you were acting and decided enough was enough.  You thought she was cool.  Wanted to get to know her and figured if you tried to make yourself appear as harmless as possible that she wouldn't feel weird moving in with a guy.\n\nBecause you felt kind of weird with her moving in but you're trying to be an evolved man. :-)
443016
ask him what his fantasy is..most of the time they want a threesome with another woman..if thats his fantasy, then you're straight(no pun intended)
54306
Be straight foward, dont lead her on with anything that could be mistaken for more then freindship.  If she starts touching your hair or any part of you, stand straight up, or just pull back like, "ewww".. almost automaticly.  Send accurate vibes.  However, if you find that you have possible feelings, which I read that you either do, or your really young, then you need to try to hold stong to a moral, like the Holy Bible, I dont know if you read it or not but its the best thing a person cold do. I am a "recovering" homosexual who is celebate forevermore, so I am not without sympathy for your situation or your friends. I would say though, you should definatly reevaluate all your freinds with this in mind, "You are the company you keep" and this is what you turn into, slowly but surly, in little ways and big before you know it (I'm not talking about lesienisim nessisarly however).  So make sure you are with the classification of people you want to grow into.  Be kind but BE FIRM.  I believe in you!
741601
Well, obviously it's weighing pretty heavily on your mind if you are actually having dreams about it.  I would suggest that you consider all the possibilities.  If you explore your feelings with your friend, will it make things weird between the two of you if in fact they are not romantic feelings?  If so, you might want to consider just staying friends with her and preserving your "best friends" status for the rest of your life.  If, on the other hand, the two of you are confident that your status of "best friends" can withstand a possible break-up and hurt feelings, then I think you should explore the possibility further.  If you don't, you will always wonder in the back of your mind whether you made the right choice by ignoring the possibility of a romantic relationship with your best friend.  Remember, that most couples in lasting relationships will tell you that their husband, wife or partner is their best friend, lover, soul mate.  Perhaps (1) you have found your best friend, lover and soul mate in her.  Or, perhaps (2) the two of you will just become best friends with benefits.  Or, maybe (3) the whole thing will turn out to be a bad idea.  Two out of three of those possibilities aren't bad.  But one things for certain, you will never know until you try.  I suggest you go for it!\n\nBest of luck!
1145895
I have been in this situation also. I was having deep feelings for a man that I was in a friends with benefits relationship. The best thing to do is sit down and talk with the "friend", honestly and open, and Not in the bedroom. You might get hurt, if they don't feel the same; But not as hurt as you'll be if you continue to really care for that person when they just think it's sex with a friend. \n\nI wish you the best of luck and I hope everything works out in your favor. Good luck.