Is it wrong for me to feel insecure around my husband's ex?
116747
It's not completely wrong. But consider this....who has him now? lol they may have the "good OLD times" but you've got the now and the future...when she does this just smile, tell a few story's yourself..never hurt..best of luck
449652
I am the same way that you are, the guy I am with is the one for me as well, and we also have a baby on the way. But my jealousy and Insecurity did kind of hurt us, because things are not the same right now, and we are both trying to get back to the way we were, because we both really love each other, and do not want to lose one another, plus we want to because of the baby. I had to learn the hard way to not be that way, because he would never do anything to hurt me. So the best advice I can give you, is just dont let your jealousy get in the way, I mean it isnt going to go away, just dont let it get the best of you, because he will either change (not for the good), or he will end up leaving you. I had a bad past too, and this guy I am with is PERFECT for me, so just try your hardest to let go of your past, and tell yourself that this is your present, and can also be your future if you just let all the bad stuff go. Trust me, I do not wanna be the jealous type anymore either, but it is just something that is hard to get rid of. If he has been able to handle it this long, then he is a great guy, my boyfriend put up with it for a LONG time, but theres only so much one guy can take, so please stop while you are ahead. I hope this helps some.
674474
I think it is fine too, is your husband the super possessive type and insecure ??
424891
If you still love him,tell him the true. Do not make the same mistake I made. I'm been married for seven years, but I still feeling something for my ex-boyfriend. I know isn't love,but maybe butterflies in my stomach. That is strange or not?
251743
That is too close to cheating.  Think about how your wife will feel.  How would you feel is out of the clear blue, her ex called her and wanted to know how she is doing.  Would that be okay with you?  What if he  had lingering feelings for her?  Use common sense.
1066383
you're not expecting to much, but everyone is different..i'm friends with several of my exes to..but if a significant other really had a problem with it i'd do my best to come up with a comprimise..generally exes are exes for a reason....he should also respect your thoughts and feelings...and not just say it's being jealous...
876303
I know how you feel. I just broke up with my boyfriend of 5 months because of ex. problems. However, you are married and don't let these two that apparently do not have a life of their own ruin this for you.\nThey are looking to create trouble, see what kind of reaction they can get and if you give it them, it will continue. The best thing is to totally ignore it. When someone approaches you with a rumor, tell them , that subject is no longer open for discussion. Don't feed into this B.S. Good luck
284032
I warn my husband about this all the time.  I feel me and him don't have a deep mutual understanding of each other.  You know how with some people you have that love and understnading and emotional connection and with others you don't.  he and I don't have that - thought we did but we rushed into the marriage.  I keep telling him that if he continues to be that way - he complains and argues about everything that I am interested in and criticizes me for the way I do things ..doesn't understand the real me. We just doesn't have that real true love "connection" as your wife calls it and "emotional" understanding for one another ... he has no idea what i mean when i explain this to him; I tell him he's gonna be the guy that 10 years down the road the wife will say "i want a divorce" and the entire time he would never see it coming and would wonder "where did I go wrong - i thought everything was fine" ... but you know what .. I commend you for reading books and seeing a counselor.  I try to read books about this stuff to my husband and he gets mad and defensive or he'll just ignore what I'm reading to him.  If she doesn't give you that chance to work it out then she is just fed up and there is no hope.  Give her a little more time - although she probably feels less hurt becasue she knows you are still wanting to be with her so she's not scared about this time apart.  If you were to act like her and accept it - then it would scare her.  When I threaten to leave sometimes and he is beggin for me not to, I feel the urge to leave even more because I know I have the upper hand and he's wrong.  But .. if he would act like he wouldn't care for ex: one time he said "fine I'll pack your bags for you" I felt really vulnerable and hurt but it scared me ... and we ended up making up instead of me leaving.   Take everyones advice - just take it day by day - you'll be fine and she'll come around - if its over just let it go .. use what you have learned to help you out later.  Just note that women need emotional attention and understanding- we are weird like that.
388796
Work on what got it to that point. I had my wife cheat on me. And I left. It took all I had to do it. We have had alot of problems since then, basically I don't feel like she shows me respect or respects me. Point is it depends on how your husband feels about you. I would take my ex back in a heartbeat if I thought she really wanted to work it out and really felt bad about it. In this situation you'll have to eat alot of crow but if he loves you he'll work with you. Good luck I hope it works out.
981071
I honestly believe that it is.  Even if your ex-husband says "go ahead...i'm okay with it"...trust me...he's NOT okay with it.  How would it make you feel if your ex-husband started dating YOUR best friend??  Always think about how you would feel if these things were being done to you.....  On another note, after a divorce or a break up, find yourself, and then find a FRESH relationship, one thats not going to continue to remind you of the one you just had.
388821
lol yep if you don't really want to know the answer then don't ask. I actually like to hear what my husband has done with his ex's.  Sounds odd but it kinda turns me on. He can't stand the thought that I've been with anyone before him (even though I was divorced with 2 kids when I met him LOL) I just don't talk about it to him, tell him I don't remember it it's been so long ago. \n  If you really want to get over your jealousy, then make sure that you do the things he likes in bed better then she could. Make him forget that he's ever been with anyone other then you. And just remember.. she's his EX.. so she can't be that great or he'd still be with her.
562967
Fuggedaboudit.  Would you like your husband to keep in touch with his exes?...
554208
Absolutely it is!! He needs to cut the cord, throw away the security blanket and be married to you! What do they possibly have to talk about? Didn't they break up? Didn't he marry you? She can't be giving him marriage advice that is going to have a positive outcome for you. I dealt with the same situation and my husbands ex put him through hell but she still had this "something" over him. Well, after many heart to heart w/my H, I had to take care of it, its like they feel bad for them or something? Remember, you are the WIFE! Who the hell is she? See ya, go away, bye bye! Or my favorite, turn the tables. Find your little black book (you know you still have it, we all do) and start reconnecting with your old ex's - opps, I mean your old friends. Im sure a few would love to hear from you again. Trust me, your H will loose the number real quick. Good luck "WIFE"
1068144
It's okay, if it is alright with you.  If it is not alright, and I presume it isn't, then the natural consequence is that there is a problem with your relationship. And that is never okay, solely because of this.  \nHowever, there may be reasons why this makes you uncomfortable.  \nWhether it is:\n1) He doesn't respect you as much as you respect him.\n2) There is clearly some boundaries that need to better defined. \n3)You have reason to be concerned\n4) There is an agenda going on \n5) He's naive or thinks you are\n6) You three each still have something to learn about do's and don'ts in a relationship.\nOr some other reason, I don't know.  Ultimately it doesn't matter. What matters is that you two are not communicating as well as he is with his ex.  \n\nMy advice, now that you talked to the world, have a good talk with him.  And be very clear about what you stand for, and why.  Sometimes we don't do that.
1098677
You need to just back off. if you are comfortable in your relationship and with your man it will all be ok. \nI am almost best friends with my husbands ex (I took him from her twice) and it is a great relationship. The two of you have at least one thing in common.\nRemember that they broke up for a reason just let it go. He is with you now.
1025688
Oh, nooooo....  Sounds like your husband needs to grow up and not listen to anyone but his new wife.  The situation you expressed is not a healthy and normal one.  He needs to step up and tell his ex to butt out and to tell his family that he will tolerate no more judgements from them.  What happens between the two of you is your business only.  Best of luck.
342246
forget snooching32 advice!! you think, if you were in a twelve year relationship, would you be able to stop contact with that person completely,? NO DIDNT THINK SO, my girlfriend was with someone for 7 years, and they still have contact, i dont like it and i feel insecure and sometimes inferior to her ex, but like me, you will have to learn to deal with the ex being on the scene for some time, but eventually, this person will start giving you the attention and the ex will fade away into the background.\n\nthis person has been honest with you and told you his ex was there, and that nothing happened, the two of you hve a special thing, you can communicate, you talk a lot everyday, that is hard to find, dont throw that away, tell your friend how you feel, go round, take a bottle of wine with you and sit and talk it out, see the outcome, you will find a lot more out about each other and its the only way to find out how he really feels for you\n\nyou might be pleasantly surprised. but you will never know otherwise!\nthere are a lot of negative people on here, dont listen to them