my daughter thinks i'm strick what should i do. i want her to trust that she can talk to me .?
98907
that's tough.  i don't believe she can talk to you without losing her independence.  if she feels she needs to talk she will come to you.  you have to begin to let go.  sorry.
1061740
First make her belived that she can trust you, then make her understood that she is in great danger and she is insecure. Then make her believe that you are the only solution to all of her problems that she can trust you totally and you can make her life secure. She would give you her heart.
1048886
Your poor daughter is going through huge changes and poor you are the safe person to take out the frustration on. I think its appropriate for you to sit her down and have a calm talk. Just state your case; you appreciate she is growing up, she wants to be treated more like an adult and you agree that its reasonable; and you want to be treated with respect the same as she does. You can tell her that you can both talk things over and reach a compromise, but you won't tolerate rudeness. \nSay that you also have a responsibility to take into account her safety, so rules are their for her benefit not just to spoil her fun. Also offer her a deal; if she ever finds herself in a situation where she feels uncomfortable she is allowed to say "I'll have to check with my Mum" or "My Mum won't let me do that" so you get the blame for being uncool not her.\nOur kids need to break away from us at some point or they'd still be dependant on us as adults, but at the same time they don't have the skills to handle it tactfully or with maturity!\nI think you've had some good advice here and its been good to hear from people who are the same age as your daughter. I'd agree that you can now stop providing for her as if she were younger, she might feel a bit smothered. Ouch! Its ok for you to set her chores to do, and if she does them with good grace she earns her allowance.\nYou aren't doing anything wrong so don't feel guilty. You don't have to put up with being treated like something on the bottom of someone's shoe! \nI'd really strongly recommend that you take up a new interest or hobby, and sign up for some part time classes at college. It would help your daughter to recognise you as someone other than Mum, and it will help your self esteem.
448699
She's telling you the truth. Put your energy into your daughter and stay focused on postitive things.
1014267
"Whenever I (her mom) try to talk to her, she reminds me that she's 20 years old and doesn't have to listen to me."\n\nSeems your daughter is quick to take your help when she needs it but then shows no appreciation or respect for it or you as her mother. She's right, she is 20 and she doesn't have to listen to anyone. It's also true since she 20 that she's of legal age so my suggestion is this. The next time she spends the night at her cheating boyfriends house, who she left to move home, then pack her things, call a local mom n pop mover and have all of it delivered to her boyfriends house. When she looses it and calls you or comes home, which she will, advise that you're also of age and don't have to listen to anyone, especially her. Send her on her way with one last thought and that is when she's ready to grow up, act like an adult and treat you with the respect you deserve then you're willing to sit down and listen.
615926
Tell her that you appreciate her concern for your well-being (assuming that this is her 'intent'), but that there are some things in life that you need to handle on your own.  Perhaps ask her if she'd be willing to listen if you need a sounding board.  That might make her feel that she's still useful.
909511
How can you even ask that question?  You broke your sisters heart and also her trust in you.  No matter what you say do you think she is going to believe you now?  Let her be the one to decide when and if she wants to speak to you
359717
I am assuming here that your daughter is in her teens but even if she is older it is in everyone's hearts to show their parents that they are independent and capable of making decisions for themselves. Any efforts by you to tell them they are wrong can only drive them harder to prove they are right. I think it is time to let her ride this one through. No matter how much your heart aches to see her obviously making a mistake, you are going to have to bite your tongue and put some trust in the good things you have taught her. If you have done right by her and taught her well she will come to her senses...  Fighting her will only push her away.\nTough call I know, but again... have trust in the values you have taught her....
530742
you answered your own question. if you are that insecure, you should just leave her alone. you say she trusts you, so why don't you trust her?
449333
I have to be honest, if you see this girl pull her aside and tell her if she lands another finger or if you see her talking to your daughter you will take matters into your own hands. If she tells anybody else you threatened her.deny it..your the adult, then most likely the parents will start looking into it. I am serious! It works.
2858
seriously if you want to loose your daughter's trust in you then go ahead and search for the archives, BUT honestly don't do it!!! Then what is going to happen if you find something out?  When you go and confront her what do you think will happen.  She will be extremely mad, disapointed, and probably never trust you again.  And what's worst is that when she finds out that you spy on her, she'll be even more sneaky trying to do things behind your back.  It will only make things worst!!!!
490718
My daughter is going to feel the same way you do because she is basically the only girl in the family. How do I make her feel more comfortable around girls?
501364
You can find it by tricking her with a smile honey as u call your daughter ,have you currently visited yahoo site ? There are exciting things there and depending on the joy of ur face she will tell You hers when you ask her have u any other site that is interrestin? if yes, she will and there you will know what site(s) she has visited
848066
talk to someone you trust.
296371
i have been there and done that! first children will test you to see what they can get away with, do not let her do this! spend special time with only her, just have a daddy -daughter day, then tell her that mommy needs that kind of special time too, tell her there are things mom and dad talk about that she would not understand and that she is not to behave like this.when talking try and include her as much as you can, but you need to let her see you will not except this, she should grow out of it soon, but she  needs to know mom is not her equal, and that you love them diffrently, GOOD LUCK
1103233
For now, just let her be.  She's really smart to isolate herself after getting such evidence that she is too trusting, and has poor judgment in who to trust.  Let her take her time, get close to people slowly, and find her "comfort zone."  If you are her friend, then she will probably trust you more than others, even if she is cautious even about you.  She's afraid to be hurt because she's been fooled before.  That's not irrational, after all.  She just needs time.
1136927
a bit unclear there in your wording, but speak to her calmly, and don't let her interrupt until you say what you want to, to clear yourself from this. Then tell her what you know without hurting her feelings, afterall she needs to know what you know. She will believe you and trust you then.