Please answer this: My mom is under stress. I don't know how to make her feel better. Any ideas?
101919
you are so sweet!  most kids don't see things the way you seem to.  now, i don't have any of my own, but since i am someone's (now adult) child, i think i can give you a few suggestions.  first of all, while it may not be your responsibility to take care of your mother (or anyone else in your family), it is nice that you want to help out.  nothing wrong with that.  now, maybe you can start helping with laundry or other chores.  if you already do help at home, then maybe you can talk to some of your other relatives to see if  they are willing to talk with your mom and get her some help.  or at least give your mom a break by hanging out with you kids (or just you, if you're an only child) while she spends some time alone.  if you want to get her a gift, i'm sure she'll love anything from you.  maybe something for the bath, or some relaxing music?  good luck, and i hope you and your family realize what a good daughter you are:)
297862
first of all shes ur mom.. how long can she b angry with u. things wil cool down soon.. give her a good hug.. she wil surely calm down..say ur sorry.. even if ur not wrong.. it doesnt hurt to say sorry.. does it!!??
1136740
Do you remember your wedding vows in sickness and in health? You know if my spouse wasnt taking care of me and showing the love and support I needed I might just pack my things and say ADIOS! I mean given you need help if your mother is there to help you then take what you can get. If she isnt being a wife or partner at all then what is the marriage about? Sounds like a house full of misery to me. Thats the last thing you need you need some love and support regardless of the mistakes youve made. If she cant trust you or get over the things that happened maybe you guys should get some help with your marriage. Otherwise if she cant get over it, I think she isnt going to change how she feels and maybe the marriage is over. I think if I was sick with cancer Id want positive things in my life and if someone is dragging me down Id either talk to them about it and work it out or like I said if that doesnt work and youve exhausted other options, stay with your mom. You need positive reinforcement right now to help you get through. Good luck.
966349
I think you should still go out with her (with the full understanding that she might be in a bad mood and that would have NOTHING to do with you) Actually, she might appreciate a chance to cheer herself up, and forget about her mom's illness for a couple of hours (and, she might think very highly of you for giving her a few moments of happiness in a time of great sorrow in her life)
854440
Oh hon, I'm so sorry. Here's a virtual hug.*HUGZ*\n\nTry to think about what you'd like your life to be like. Then think about the steps to take so that it gets there. There is no problem that can't be conquered, and all situations are only temporary. I promise things will get better. \n\nWhat really helps me when I feel down is long walks. The exercise helps relieve stress, and the quiet, rhythymic time helps calm my thoughts. \n\nI'd make funny faces at you but you can't see me!\n\nGood luck, I hope you feel better.\n\n\n\nOh, and misspinkbox is reported. Let's see how superior she feels now.
245466
This actually made me think of what my mom did for me once when I was about 37 years old and very stressed with working full time and raising kids.  She sent me a birthday card with a dollar in it.  She put a note in it about knowing how much I loved to get a card with $1 (referencing back to my childhood).  It made me laugh, and it made me feel really good.  \n\nI think maybe that is what you are trying to do with the seniors -- make them feel the joy of just getting a bag of goodies and having a good time, letting go of all the stress they've been generating all year.  Cool idea.\n\nMaybe a "Feel the Memories" kind of theme?  Not remember, but feel.  Goodie bags conjure up good feelings from the many birthday parties of childhood.  Have a cake.  Maybe first grade pictures of all the seniors, with a "guess who?" contest.  Play music from the 1994 - 2000 timeframe.  Have a dance contest.  Let them feel young.
529902
OUCH! Dude! WTF?  Just say you're sorry and explain to her how she makes you feel about yourself and that you were just venting.  She does not sound very reasonable anyway so all you can do is try.
994483
Hi Sean,\n\nBoth my mom and dad (mom has it a lot worse though) have depression and I love them so maybe I can help.\n \nI have found the best thing I can do for them is be there for support.  Sometimes that means giving up fun with friends for a quiet night in keeping my mom company.  Sometimes it means trying to deal with her mood swings.\n\nThe mood swings are the hardest to deal with.  You just need to stay calm and remember how much she is suffering to treat someone she loves so horribly. "This too, shall pass" is a saying I heard one time and I try to keep that in my mind.  Also, you should not do too much for them, but you should do what you can to help the person.  For example, if she has a White Castle Craving at 9 PM and is whining about how much she wants it and being mean to you and White Castle is 10 miles away, give her options like driving there herself or offer to fix her something from  the kitchen.  Sometimes it is bad to do too much for people.  This is called "enabling".  \n\n I have found that when my mom wants to argue, I just let her say what she needs to say and remember she doesn't really mean it.  I also learned not to talk back in these situations because there is no reasoning with her.\n\nOne other thing you really need to think about is if the relationship is worth it.  Do you love her because she is her or do you just think you love her?  Can you handle her symptoms?  It isn't worth going crazy yourself over it.\n\nI really hope your girlfriend is getting help.  Medication and counseling has worked wonders for both my parents. Best wishes to you.  Pease let me know if I can do anything else to help.
85742
Ask your mom how her friends are.  You might find out that they have done something to hurt or anger her, which is good because then you don't really have to worry about your mom not being "ok".  Maybe she has new friends that are kinder or more fun to be with.  \nDuring this conversation, you should be able to get your own read on your mom, so you can see for yourself if she seems to be her normal self to you or not.  \nIf she does not seem normal, then you should pay her a visit.  Make sure she is not depressed or something.  If needed, help her find the help she needs (just like, I hope, she took care of you when you needed it).  \nGood luck!  I can tell you care about her.
1183310
You need to explain this to  your mom.  Chances are, she doesn't realize how it affects you.  Just calmly tell her how it makes you feel.  Honesty is always the best policy.  Between the two of you, you can come up with some solutions on how to handle it.  Maybe your mom can see a counselor to listen to her problems and help with her unhappiness.  Good luck!
1118660
wow... i guess try to tell her you have things under control. but it sounds like there is more to it if she is that worried about it. so either she knows every minute of your day or you are going to have more contact with the detectives. hard to tell you what you should do. sounds like  you have a major issue in your life going and then a complication to add to it. but good luck... i guess always remember... your day is always just seconds away from getting worse... so be happy with what you have. at least your mom loves you.... like i said... it could always be worse
266248
i am 37 and they told my mom she now has about 8 weeks to go. there are no words anyone can tell either of us. you are not being selfish for wanting your mother to stay alive. our moms no we need and want them. and this, from what my mom says is the hardest thing she has ever had to do in her life. she looks at my kids and my brothers and i. she can't help crying. she knows we are deeply saddened and there is nothing she can do. she was dealt this hand and she is fighting this cancer with all that she has. my heart goes out to you and your family. i cry everyday. at moments i will be numb and i am ok but it only takes one word from someone and tears will come down and i can't stop them. we are to young in our lives to loose our moms. i can't even imagine all the really young people that have gone through this. i do not know about you but if one more person tells me she is going to be going to a better place i will loose it on them. it is not that i do not believe in god i do. but her better place for now is here with her kids and her grandkids. i also have children. and my mom lives down the street from me. they go there everyday for a snack and to see grandma. and like you life without her seems impossible. she will not see my 40th birthday or my kids have their kids. there will be no more mothers days that i can pick her up and take her to lunch. no more she drives me crazy because she is just being a mom. i am sure you can relate to all this. i can't shut it down in my head. the thoughts won't go away. it hurts to bad. i do not know who you are but i will pray for your mother. you have my deepest sympothy. if you ever need to write my e-mail is momof4angelsaz@yahoo.com. who knows maybe we can be a support team. please write and tell me how you and your mom are doing.god bless you and your family
419998
I'm sorry about your loss. I lost my mother 2 1/2 months ago and will soon be going through a first mother's day without her. Because Mom was such a jokester and loved life to the fullest, when our spirits droop and tears threaten us, we share memories of something she did or said that made us laugh at the time. It's what she'd want to see within the family.. not alot of depressed and unhappy loved ones mourning her loss. It's really ok to laugh and smile.. dont spend too much time grieving over her loss, rejoice that you were blessed enough to know her as long as you did. Get the picture albums out and remember those things that made you smile and laugh. It's a great connection and keeps the memories strong of the woman you both loved so dearly.
312214
You need to get other family members involved, and get your mom some help.  The family, or even friends need to talk with your mom and help her realize that she needs to get some help for her depression.\n\nShe might get pleasure from other people's suffering, because she is so depressed.  Some people want other people to be miserable too, so they aren't alone.  I know it sounds weird, but it's true.  Have you ever heard the phrase "misery loves company"?  That means people that are depressed want other people around them to be depressed, so they aren't the only person feeling down.\n\nGet your family and friends involved, and talk with your mom.  Maybe it's just a phase, but she probably needs people to talk things out with.
1096604
I am sorry that you feel this way, how terrible for you.\n\n I think you need to sit down with your mom and have a dicussion--not a screaming match-- and tell her honestly how you feel. It may be that she honestly has not realized that the situation makes you feel like this. Nomother would deliberately make their child feel like that on purpose, but Moms are people who have have feelings  too, and of course they makemistakes like anyone else.\n\n I hope you can have a good talk about this, and work it out.
59167
make sure she is as comfortable as possible. i know its hard but you have to. be her support system. if she needs to cry be her shoulder if she needs to yell just listen and dont yell back. most of the time they are not angry with you.make sure she gets the treatments she needs and the meds she needs. if you miss an appointment reschedule as soon as possible. some people with cancer handle the problem differently she may laugh it off but remember thats her way of dealing with it. dont get angry and say things you dont mean. you are a good person for staying by her side. make the time you have with her as good as possible. play cards read books schedule movie nights. i will pray for you and your mother. i am so sorry this is happening to your family.
185288
I have alot of stress, hubby in military gone long periods of time, two kids, big house to clean ,bills...what makes me always feel better is reading the bible, going to church, drinking doesn't help anything just makes you more stressed and upset, just make time for yourself, sit in a peaceful place and take a deep breath and think about the others who have it harder than you, people with sickness, cancer, there's always someone who has it worse...another way is taking a nice long hot bath...or just taking a walk..