how do i stop my self from farting?
102897
Ask your doctor to book you in for a fartectomy.
1125551
FIRST, do not call it a fart.  Call it a poot.  That sounds cute and feminine.  BE gentle about it, then go ahead.  If you can make it silent but deadly, that is the best.... make sure you leave the room right after and say it snuck out...  just kidding.\n\nMY wife does not like to poot in front of me, but sometimes it sneaks out and she turns all pink, so it turns into an opportunity for me.  Your husband needs to be given an opportunity like that... lol.
978375
try eating some bread (not toast). it can help latch onto something and get it down.
605068
A Courtesy Flush.\n\nThis is one of the best reasons to keep off the fats and processed foods. Take plenty of fibre and if that is a problem get a fibre supplement and finally eat a natural yogurt every so often.\n\nGenerally I can use a courtesy flush at the beginning to cover up the noise and evacuate myself all in one go.
464139
no....I try not to fart in front of my husband. But, if I do he just has to get over it.
813860
yes farting is natural out bodies do it at the most awkward times.\nAlthough if someone has a farting problem that just stinks out the office..  Sometimes subtle hints help.\nLike wow that was a little smelly mate. mind opening some windows.. or asking for some spray to go around the office.\n\nIf these don't help then you will have to be forward.. \nLook mate..  these farts are starting to make me feel ill.. can  you move away when know your going to release one.\nor go to the toilet, Ask are you taking anything for it.\nbeing forward might make them feel awkward but also bringing it to there attention that its becoming a problem is the best.
443322
you can't stop it. if you did, you would die. Read a Heath book. if you eat.. you fart.
312168
It is even rude to think of it, let alone do it!\n\nA few strategies here:\n\n1) Discharge your gases first before you put yourself in any public places.\n\n2) Change your diet.  Some foods create gas.\n\n3) If that failed, see a dietician, your doctor or a gastro specialist. Don't leave it and laugh about it.  It could be a medical condition that needs attention.\n\n4) Be civic conscious, use the stairs - good exercise for you perhaps.\n\n5) If you must use the elevator for some reasons, stand near the control buttons.  You should know your urge to de-gas yourself, - press the next floor button to stop the leave before your designated floor.  Leave, de-gas and catch the next stop!\n\nThat is if you really have such a problem, you well truly want to do something about it.\n\nNothing, if you think it is OK and that it is indeed funny.  Remember your idea of a joke may not be others'.\n\nIf you have some class and even self respect, bet you will do something about it.
873244
Eat more slowly. \nChew your food thoroughly. \nAvoid gum chewing. \nRelax while you eat. \nAvoid beans, cabbage, and carbonated beverages. \nTry Beano, a product sold over-the-counter at most drugstores, if you eat a lot of beans, fruits, vegetables, and other high-fiber foods. \nWalk for 10 to 15 minutes after eating. \nDrink peppermint or chamomile tea after a meal. \nIn the case of those with lactose intolerance, intestinal bacteria feeding on lactose can give rise to excessive gas production when milk or lactose-containing substances have been consumed.\nPlease see the webpages for more details on Flatulence.
430490
LEMON JUICE WILL STOP IT.  THE ACID IN LEMON JUICE WILL KILL THE GAS BUILD UP IN THE STOMACH JUST ADD LEMON JUICE TO HIS TEA OR MAKE LEMON COOKIES AND USE REAL LEMON JUICE OR LEMONAID WITH REAL LEAMONS   THATS THE CHEEP WAY WITH OUT GOING TO THE STORE TO GET BEANO.
1138339
Try with all your might not to mind it. Everyone else's fart, it's just yours was not in the right time and place but you know when you appear like you didn't care about it, they wouldn't care too. Just go on with your daily routine and just look on it at a bright side, you have a story to tell to your grandchildren when it comes. I'm sure it will be a sure hit.:p
3852
It depends on how your body digest certain foods.\nSome people can eat beans all day and not fart at all. \nOthers can just drink a glass of juice and they are purging toxic fumes from the lower vent hole all day.\nBut beans and green leafy types of veggies will usually get the job done. Also chille dogs with onions and mustard does it for some people. If your just trying to fart? Try drinking a can of one of those slim fast shakes. it'll give you lots of gas, however in 4 to 6 hours, the volcano is ready to erupt.\nYes... you were venting volcanic gases.
154907
eat alot of beans or other food that has alot of carbohydrates.  also take just a pinch of yeast with the food.  in 24 hours you'll be farting enough to light a fire.
399265
i don't know, i've never been in this situation.  my boss and i frequently have farting contests because we are both so gassy.  i walk into his large office and rip a nice one and let it hang there for a while, at least until i can smell it, then i just leave.  then he saunters into my cube and rips a nice one, let's it linger, and then just leaves.  i'm not sure what the score of our battle is, but i've got to be beating him.  his toots come out little and whimpy, and although mine pass through my sphincter somewhat wet, they are always large and billowy.
765469
Try to avoid making a splash. My advise is to put a couple of squares of toilet paper down the pan before releasing your turd. This way when the turd lands, the paper will cushion the blow and you will avoid any embaressing splash noises and the much dreaded "splash-back"
1171241
Peppermint... or Ginger Ale\nSometimes the best thing is to just upchuck..\nAnd  I forgot about it because it doesnt work all the time - but the "warm rag on your tummy" does work sometimes (usually for the gassy feeling)
837727
Lie on your back and relax completely so that your ab muscles are slack.  You can gently massage the abdonmen area and the gas bubble will move down the intestine until you fart.