how do you come out of the closet to your friends and family , been gay for years but now ready to tell?
109926
Well, it's a very difficult situation I guess, but, see... my brother was gay and all of us in the family ignored that situation until one day he came to us and take courage to tell the truth, now that we know that we love him the way he is, things haven't changed at all, we show him his not alone and he feels much better now.\nMaybe your family will not understand the problem in the beginning but they love U, so, they will take it as good as my family did.\nAbout your friends... if they're really good friends they will accept U as you are, friendship doesn't have to change at all, they will support U if U feel bad or suffer some kind of discrimination.\nTelling the truth is always your best choice... Go ahead!
349593
Many people who feel attracted to members of their own sex have a so-called coming out at some point in their lives. Generally, coming out is described in two phases. The first phase is the phase of "knowing oneself," and the realization or decision emerges that one is open to same-sex love. This is often described as an internal coming out. The second phase involves one's decision to come out to others, e.g. family, friends, and/or colleagues. This occurs with many people as early as age 11, but others do not clarify their sexual orientation until age 40 or older. Most have their coming out during school age, so sometime during the time of puberty. At this age, they may not trust or ask for help from others, especially when their orientation is not accepted in society. Sometimes their own parents are not even informed.This is a personal choice,and really the truth will set you free. Try to have some support before you tell them.I hope the links below will help you and maybe give you more information.Good luck to you,and be not afarid, this too shall pass,and remember you are not alone.
458994
My advice play it safe, and just become friends with him at first. Then once hes comfortable with having you around start talking about a gay issue and watch his responce, try and do it when there is no one else around. That will be a dead give away to his orientation.  I dont have a lot of experiance with this, but its the advice i ALWAYS get.
1097356
There's a completely free, completely confidential hotline that you can call that can help you come out. You can speak with an adult or with a young person like yourself.\n\nhttp://www.glnh.org/index2.html\n\nTheir website also has links to organizations in your area.\n\nAll of the following links have really great resources for coming out. Don't just click the top one... click all of them and read all of the brochures, etc.\nhttp://www.pflag.org/Getting_Support-Coming_Out.coming_out.0.html\nhttp://www.outproud.org/brochure_coming_out.html\nhttp://www.hrc.org/Template.cfm?Section=Coming_Out\n\nAnd if the friends you have are really your friends, they'll be your friends even if they know you're gay or bi. Real friends like you no matter what.\n\nGood luck!
330836
My brother is gay and he still hasn't told the whole family!  He's told a select few of us, and that's all.  However, he did tell both of our parents.  How he did this:  He took them out to eat and told them plain and simple.  I'm not sure how your family is, but my family is very accepting, and my parents didn't mind so much.  No offense, but if your family is any good - they already have a clue!  So the answer to your question?  The sooner, the better.  Take your folks out to dinner and ask them how best to tell the rest of your family.  Do not be afraid, and know that life goes on, no matter what might happen.  The world will continue turning.\n\nI hope this helps.
867233
You don't have to tell anyone.  Your mother may have already guessed.  Talk about gay people to her and see how she feels.  If she doesn't understand you may want to wait until you are an adult to tell her.  It's not like you need to make an announcement about your sexual orientation.\n\nYeah, it does.
890160
I knew from about the age of six.\nThere was a boy in my class at school that I always wanted to sit next to, but it never happened, and it was years later that I realised I had a 'crush' on him.\nI came out to my family when I was 18, but it didn't come as a surprise to them. I'd never shown any interest in girls (sexually), and they respected me for my honesty.\nI know it is not always easy to 'come out', and I would say that you should leave it for a few years in case it is just a 'phase' you are going through.\nMany men get sexual urges, and when you are going through puberty, your hormones are all over the place and experimentation (hand-jobs) is rife.\nIf you are certain you are gay, then tell a few close friends and if they show resistance, it is they who have a problem, not you.\nI hope you will not bow down to intollerance and ignorance, and find the courage to say who you are.\nI had one bad experience when I came out, and the man who didn't want to know me anymore now lives with his boyfriend in London!\nAll I can say to you is, you know the people around you, and you know yourself.\nIf you think they will be supportive, then be honest.\nFrankly, I'd be honest anyway and let them love you the way you are.
601491
I totally agree with this. Before coming out I was going through all kinds of mental and emotional angst that was eating me alive.  I put on all kinds of weight and thought about almost nothing else.  It was totally crazy.  I kept going over all the different possible scenarios, all of them bad, never a good one, and it was just, well, in the end it was all just hot air.  When i came out to my friends they all knew.  When I came out to my family they didn't really care.  When I started bringing my boyfriend home everyone thought he was great.  It was a lot easier in the end to be out than it was to be closeted.  By a lot.
214845
Don't do anything... He'll come out of the closet when he's ready to.  If you ask him it might offend him if he's not.
890569
Don't tell and don't feel as though you have to.\n\nJust be up front with her and tell her that you don't want to get involved that you don't like her as anything more then a friend.\n\nIf you are scared and not ready to come out then don't come out.\n\nYou should not feel pressured to come out because a girl may like you.\n\nIf you think you would be a risk by coming out then don't do it.\n\nPeople have big mouths and gossip is a friend of many and an enemy of all. You owe her nothing nor anyone else anything especially an explanation of your sexual identity.\n\nYou are young and young people can be even more mean when they feel they were betrayed or here news as such.\n\nHang in there your ok you didn't do anything wrong and just ignore her advances if she continues after you.
1109946
If you come out, it should be about you, not your friend. You could mention to your friend that you might be gay, but dont be trying to 'convert' him. You are either born gay or you are born straight.
1073206
I didn't make up my mind about being gay (which I am), but whether or not to accept it in myself and then decide how to tell other people about it.\n\nMy mind, my self, and my soul were already there.  I just had to learn to accept what was true about me.\n\nThe factors for me that showed me who I am were: by your age, I had absolutely no romantic feelings for or attraction to the opposite sex; on the other hand, I did have those feelings for my own gender. I had tried to force myself to have feelings for the opposite sex and failed dismally; I had had sex with guys and I enjoyed it thoroughly.  I would look at porn with women... just nothing.  \n\nI know the parental and cultural thing, coming from rural Southern Baptists.  Oy.  They have very little to do with me, so I have largely made my own "family" who don't care about my sexuality, they care about me as a person.  I think that if my parents are not able to accept all of me, then it is their loss... something friends have also said.  \n\nDon't rush your decision about coming out.  Don't feel there has to be a schedule, and don't say anything in anger or during an argument.  It would forever taint what you have to say.\n\nThink "what doesn't kill us makes us stronger" and try not to get killed! =)  Now, think what advantages this gives you: you are tackling difficult social and personal issues when many of your contemporaries are merely worried about their complexions.  Already you are a more complex, sensitive, and concerned individual because of what you are facing.
924464
ive been xdressing for 25 years and never told my family ,unless you want to take it further ,say to change sex ,why tell them ,you can still go out and have fun as fem .good luck x
872441
Talking it over with close friends.  Eventually, a person accepts his or her sexual orientation, self-identifies with others like that, and notes who (or what) he or she is to a close friend.  I think the fact that this one longterm friend had actually come out to me some months beforehand also helped. It's a safety issue, I think. It was like a weight being lifted from my shoulders when I came out to him and said, "this" is what am.  It also answered questions regarding stress throughout my life.
924082
Saying that openly on here is a start.  Find a counselor (many are free) in a gender you'd feel safest with, and try starting with small steps.  Tell them you don't feel comfortable opening up.  They know how to help you.
819690
When i was in my younger teen years I was scared, but now that I am in college I am starting to come out and the more people I come out the easey it gets. I don't worry as much, I would say try it with your best friend. Also people understand more when they get a little older.
926826
Cookie, I know what your talking about. And I believe that the coming out experience for some people are much different than for others.  Perhaps for some it was hard for them to be accepted at home, so they are out in public. Some actually hid for so many years that coming out is like a rebirth to them and their excited and it's like a new life for them. They can finally be free and not enslaved by being closeted any longer.  I don't think that some homosexuals really care who we think they have sex with. They know that straight people have questions and some are very helpful in answering our questions. Yes I am straight. But I have a gay son.  And I also have a straight son, that equals two great kids! What I can tell you is that it is a process that a family goes through. There are different stages that a gay person and their family goes through. And this is evident in their behavior when they become relaxed and can be themselves. I hope this helped abit. I am a PFLAG Mom. Parents Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays. If you had more questions you can email PFLAG and they will be more than happy to answer your question.