How do you keep romance going in your marriage?
109448
My husband and I have been married for ten years and have one child. We never go to bed mad. We kiss daily. We make date nights. We say I love you every time we run into each other. And always before we hang up the phone. We role play in the bedroom sometimes. That's always fun!!!!!!
47550
Keep the communication flowing, always make time for each other. APPRECIATE one another. Always have a "date" night. Don't dwell on the bad things but when the bad things creep into your mind, make yourself remember a good time or a nice thing your spouse did for you. Don't be a nagger. And if all else fails, make love and forget about it. \n\nAnd if none of that works seek counseling.
766336
How do you keep it happy most of the time: You don't. You realize that in every relationship there are going to be tough times. You strive to just enjoy each other, not to make everything happy all the time. I learned from the first boyfriend that trying too hard causes break ups.\n\nKeeping it memorable: why does every day need to be memorable? Half the time I can't remember every little day that my husband and I spent together, but I remember the important things. \n\nHow do you deal with your partner if you're unhappy about something he does: it depends--is it something he did because he wanted to be mean, is it in her personality, or is it just a bad habit? I'm not going to change ANYONE'S personality, but I can certinaly tell him. My husband has this awful habit of ignoring me for sports. When it really annoys me, I tell him honestly what's going on. Commnunication is key to any relationship.\n\nIf you don't say it because "you don't want to sound demanding or petty" then you have a long way to go. HE isn't going to know what's going on in your head unless you tell him. That's not fair to hold him a standard that he doesn't even know about.
346623
This is one of the most difficult questions I have seen here. There are only a few ways to do this...do you have weekends together? Plan one weekend a month where mom (either, or alternating) agree to take care of the kid and GET OUT OF TOWN, at least get away to a Motel...sometime sleezy, sometimes nice. Leave the TV OFF. Concentrate on each other...talk, coo, pet, soothe, console, hold eachother, do things together that have NOTHING to do with the home...like sneaking out on a date, cram as much of eachother into this time as possible. During the week, a 10 minute quickie initiated by one or the other...always be responsive whether you feel like it or not..given the chance, even a tired body responds well, often better than an energetic one. And, it doesn't take sex to make for a passionate affair. And unexpected call, flowers for no reason, a kiss on the back of the neck. Show interest in each other's lives. Support eachother, avoid arguing ...takes work on both parts but it is well worth it. Love, romance, and union are not always about sex. He could watch the babies for an hour or so to let you take a long, relaxing bath by yourself ... alone time is necessary for a good relationship. Work, work, work is the only true way to make a relationship joyful and rewarding. Take when given, give when it will be taken...was all love to please our partner...show your partner that they please you, turn you on...leave nothing to guess on their part. Smile, laugh, and when you are so tired you cannot take another step, remember your other half is in the same boat. Be super considerate. YOu do not have time for fighting, for that takes time from positive, reinforcing love. Remember, the kids will grow faster than you can keep up with. Be united in your efforts to raise your children on a path that is nurturing, loving, with definate boundries you both agree on. A united front towards the kids provides no room for arguements. Pay the bills on time and no arguements will arise for the electricity being turned off. Phone, gas bills...someone has to pay them...make arrangements with your bank to pay these bills with online payment..takes very little time. Share duties for food  and prep whenever possible. The couple that works and plays together stays together..with common goals that are not obsessive. There must be time for play, as well as family duties. We all to often spend too much time in percieved duties at the expense of what really counts...the relationship. It would be greatly beneficial to have one of you get another job...one more conducive to more time together AND more time apart ... we all need personal space. Too often, in misguided romantic notions, we feel that we should be everything and all to our love...that never works. We both know that. With compromise and agreement, you will reach a great, healthy and workable balance in this life. Work for it after agreeing to it. Know that agreements will not always happen, but one or the other has to give now and then. We can only bend so much before we break. Do not let it come to that. I wish you the very best of love and luck in this. YOu deserve it and can keep it with firm resolve to put your lover's needs before yours...within reason. I do care.
9442
You cant hold on to something thats not there...You can continue to do your end of the vows and pray that he will have a change of heart but ultimatley in marriage love comes and goes but its commitment to that person that will keep a marriage.  Apparently hes never had that commitment to hold on to you for "better or for worse".  He obviously moves according feeling not any thing else.  You keep your end if hes not willing than let it go--More advice? chrystaldr@yahoo.com
478114
I will answer, despite i'm not quite sure about this.\n\nI have the idea of flirting like those things you do to try to get the atention of the other person you like, that would be smiling, talking about nonsenses, try to make funny things, taking so much care of your make up, and the way you look, all those kind of silly things we do to cath the atention.\n\nBut once you got his / her attention far enougth to have a date, and once you start the serious conversation, and the knowing each other stage, i would say the flirting is over. \n\nAnyway, even when you already have an stable relation ship, some how the flirting does never have to end. You have to keep that all the time that your relation continues, even if you get married. \n\nThat part of the romance, where you try to please the other person, where you try to make her /him realize how great you are, and that you are convincing your self how much you like that person must continue. That is like the water for the three to live, and growth stronger every day.
700615
I was just thinking tonite...God...how boring my marriage is....there is no romance..no love ...no communication....but...what do u do...leave...the thought of starting over again is scarey....but staying in a relationship that will not change is depressing...let me know if u figure it out....maybe that should be my next posting!  good luck
124496
1) Don't force it. It sucks, but sometimes stuff just doesn't work out. If the chemistry is gone it's gone, so don't worry about it. Trying to force it will just make it worse, and kill the chance of real chemistry developing.\n\n2) If the chemistry is there it will be memorable no matter what.\n\n3) Make the moment focused around eachother, not, for example, a movie or even a meal. Start with coffee, a walk in the park, or some activity that will lead to conversation instead of putting the focus elsewhere.\n\n4) Make sure he isn't just interested in a booty call.
485109
Oh man, my hubby and I will be celebrating our 3rd anniversary this Oct and 5 years of being together. It has taken us a long time to figure this one out. The answer sounds so simple but it can take ALLOT of self control and discipline. The key to a successful relationship is having a forgiving, unconditional love for your partner. Being able to accept blame and admit wrong doing and knowing what to do to change is a big key. When we talk "fight" we do not tell the other what we don't like about them but what we recognize they don't like about us. This way its not assigning blame and creating defensive walls but acknowledging wrong and working together to change. We are best friends, lovers, and we embrace all things together as a team. Marriage is the HARDEST thing to do in this journey we call life but I PROMISE it has the largest rewards! My husband and I got divorced last year and realized on the day of our divorce in the courtroom that we were running from our problems and making the biggest mistake of our lives. You have to go THROUGH your problems, you can not avoid them in any way. Good luck to you
252362
good question!\n\nbe loving and be committed to the relationship. Is it just a matter of decision. One has to have one -- the decision to stay together for good or for worse. Then you wouldn't be scared to where it will go co'z you have set the path of your relationship and its future. Being together.\n\nIf you have and your man have not made that decision, then the future lies on his decision.\n\nAlot of people go into a relationship thinking that as long as they love each other, it will solve all issues about real life. Fact: It Doesn't! (sad to say)\nPeople change, emotions get us -- making us irrational whereby sometimes we make odd and bad choices and worst of all -- wrong words to hurt each other... then the ball starts rolling down :-(\n\nMy role of thumb... always have a good laugh after every arguement (married for 13 years and still having a blast).\n\nA friend once said - that if you ride car together and not have an arguement at all, be it for a drive to the next block or to the next State away.. then you still love each other dearly.. and respects each other.
100863
You need to be stubborn, hard-headed and just decided from the start that you will not get a divorce.  You'll work through the problems, the drama, the inconviences.  You have to WANT the marriage to stay intact.
398973
Buy a house.\nMy wife's hobby is doing things around the house she can do and making lists of things we need to take care of she isn't capable of alone. Mine is executing those jobs on the list only I can do. In our free time we tackle jobs from the list we both are capable of. We also spend a lot of time in the bedroom. Actually, now that the kids are grown and gone, ANY room we feel like...\n\nBut then, we might be considered wierd. After 30 years of marrige we still find each other incredibly sexy. We like spending time together and have our "causes" we support. Both of us are passionate about children's rights. We have been foster parents for 17 years and are on about every child care panel in existence.  We also teach parenting and alternative discipline classes together for our state's Dept. of H&W and I am on various boards and am the governor's appointment to our state's Children's Trust Board from our district.\n\nAnd, oh yes. In my spare time I also am writing my second book. And am public relations director for my Shrine Center. (you know, we support the free hospitals for kids)\n\nAnd when we're home, in the evenings we sit out on our deck in the spa and sip wine or tea or maybe hot chocolate with cinnamon schnapps. Yes, naked...
75002
Think of all the ways you romanced your wife before you was married. Did you buy her flowers? Take her on night strolls? Did you shower with her or run her bath when she comes home from work? At times we tend to forget that the men/women that we marry still need to be romanced and catered to. Its a beautiful thing that happens for two people and they feel appreciated. This is what I think your wife is telling you.
580827
Married or not, yes, you should set up dates on occasion.\nEvery week? No.  When it works out? Yes.\nIt is important Not to let your relationship go stale.  Dates, or impromptu meetings for lunch are nice too.\nFor instance, call your mate and work out a quick meeting for lunch, or Even before work, Go to breakfast.  Keep things going and keep thing fresh, and you will have a good chance of keeping your relationship healthy.
32734
Most women would be surprised that men enjoy romance as well. I can't speak for your husband.. but... how about spoiling him one evening or one day. If he likes to eat, take him to his favorite place, fawn over him, make him feel like he is the only man on earth.\n\nThe bottom line is this, you know him.. what does he like? If he likes you in a mini skirt and heels.. then go for it. If he likes to sit on the couch and watch tv... slip into something silky put his feet up and fool around during comercials. I doubt you'll watch much tv. ;)
701145
Since your husband seems to like living his life by a schedule, ask him to start scheduling time for YOU! ... Like maybe a 'household business meeting' once a week, a 'social hour' a few times a few times a week, AND ... don't leave out scheduling romance.\n\nWhen married people expect communication, caring, and romance to "just happen" or "be spontaneous" ... that is a recipe for NO communication, caring, or romance. These things happen when you plan for them and make them happen. \n\nDoes a great dinner appear on the table spontaneously? Of course not, you have to plan the menu, plan the shopping. Just give him a day-planner or calendar and ask him to go over his schedule with you. Point out (nicely, without nagging) that he isn't scheduling any time for his marital responsibilities.
681926
Always remember that Love is an action word. You can say it all day long. If when it is time you do not do the little things to show it then there is no love. Remember that being told you are right is not as important as being a fair partner. If there is something that you can do to be helpful do it. If the one you are marrying is not the same way RUN.