How do I deal with my husbands sister & brother in laws rudness towards me?
105297
there's nothing you can do about it.Your husband needs to disguss it with them since it's his family,and tell them nicely to knock it off.
829206
your husband is the one that needs to put his foot down! tell him what is going on..and that you would NEVER put up with this kind of behavior if it were your own mother/sister. \nyou married him, not his mother...yes she is part of your family but she doesn't and shouldn't have a say in YOUR life together. \nhonestly i would look to move away! * that's what i encouraged my husband to do when we got married. we moved my mother in law to Hawaii! * \nif your hubby won't put his foot down then your going to be the one to say something. it may be hard, but YOUR HIS WIFE! that car you borrowed is YOURS as much as it is your husbands...you need to stand up for yourself.\nbe firm but cordial, and tell her that you understand that she loves her son very very much, but so do you. and you are his wife. \nhe is a grown man, and you two want her to be part of your life, but you don't want her controlling it. tell her that you feel like she doesn't like you, and that your trying your best to be a good wife to her son. but you will NOT let her make you feel guilty about the decisions that you make together as a couple. ask her how she would feel if HER mother in law butted in the way she did? \n\nperhaps talking w/your father in law might help? or a brother in law?
694372
My mother in law didnt like me either. She said it wouldnt last a year. Well its been 32 years and we no longer speak to her because she pulled some rel nasty stunts on our children. I say stay with him and ditch the mother in law too.
558759
Things may be a little tough at home with a new baby. He may be feeling neglected because the baby is now getting all the attention. The attention he's getting by flirting makes him feel good about himself.   I'M NOT SAYING IT'S RIGHT OR THAT I AGREE WITH THE BEHAVIOR BY ANY MEANS.  If I were you, I would talk to him (not accuse) about the situation.  Remind him he has a wife that loves him at home and a new baby.  Tell him to try flirting with his WIFE he may get a better response than he will from strange women.   \n\nDON'T  go to your sister with this. It will only hurt her. If it's just flirting it could be harmless. just an attention getter.  \n\nAfter talking to him, I would still keep an eye out, if it goes further than flirting,  I would approach him again and have a heart to heart.  \n\nIf it's MORE....it will come out.  \n\nDon't point fingers yet, you'll get caught in the middle and possibly catch all the blame. MEANING...DON'T GO TO YOUR SISTER.   \n\nGO TO HIM !!!!!\n\nTELL HIM TO THINK ABOUT HIS WIFE AND NEW BABY AND TO GO HOME TO THEM.\n\n\nBE SURE OF YOUR FACTS BEFORE YOU APPROACH HIM.
667923
Be the mature one about this situation and put an end to it.  Talk to your husband and tell him that you don't want things to be like they are and you feel that your mother-in-law and father-in-law should come over and have a family discussion.  You start off the discussion by saying to your MIL "I'm sorry that your feelings were hurt...I spoke out of  anger when I said I didn't want to see you again and was just venting."  Then explain to your MIL and FIL that you want the family to all get along but there need to be some changes because it really hurts you when your MIl __________________________________  fill in the blank with what she does that bugs you.  That way everything is out in the open, you apologized and showed you are trying to work things out. (Mind you, in the back of your mind you'll be saying...look B+tch, I'm just doing this to make my husband happy...but, she doesn't need to know that.)  Good Luck.
448891
Is the brother in law your sister's husband or your husband's brother? This is so sick that not even the J e r r y  S p r i n g e r  S h o w  would touch. Ok maybe he would ... :-0 I can't believe you're asking our opinion on this!!! Isn't it obvious to you what you should do? If this is your sister's husband make sure to tell your sister..there are too many diseases out there. btw if you stay with this loser you will deserve all the heartache you will get! Be smart-get out now!!!
807832
How much do you trust your husband to make the right decisions for your family??????........\nSupport your husband in whatever way he needs you to at the moment......you cant worry about how your in-laws feel about you......when they are gone, you will still have your husband and he will appreciate you standing by him....regardless of what happens....\nI fought a similar battle w/in-laws once upon a time...I wish i had just supported my husband....I wish i had understood that I could make it about me and my feelings (which I did)...OR I could have let him do whatever  he needed to do for his parents for him to be ok....knowing that our familys best interest was never  out of him mind.......(I did not do this) OUr marraige suffered ....Now I look back and see It was not worth it.....I SHOULD have trusted him.......He was trustworthy....\nThey never did like me.....but now thery are gone and it doenst matter....But my ex and I are still trying to come to terms with the fallout from that time(as well as other issue).....\nPICK YOUR BATTLES CAREFULLY..........some are not worth the war they will lead up to....
88168
My mother in law was the same way.  My husband didn't want to get involved because he said it was like a soap opera.  But then he did get involved and we no longer talk to his side of the family.\n\nYour husband needs to get involved for the sake of your marriage. She needs to tell you why she acts like that.  Most likely it's the same old thing of she feels like she is loosing a son.  Hopefully she would be willing to talk about it.  I started with a very polite letter but face to face would be better.  Work out a way that she can continue to be part of his life if that is what the problem is.  But your husband needs to support you!\n\nWe would e-mail and I showed my husband everything.  She would also yell at me on the phone and then tell him I was yelling at her.  He figured it out.  We went through counseling and she couldn't even be honest there.  So that is when we both said enough and don't have any communication with them anymore. You have to do what is best for your family.\n\nProof is always the best but your husband should trust you there and be willing to work out a solution.  But if your mother in law won't talk about it there isn't much you can do but avoid her.  But don't let it affect you. I ended up having major heath problems because of the stress.  It's her problem not yours!
881813
Sometimes, blood is NOT thicker than water. Your are his wife, and now become #1, in his life, along with children, if you have any.\nGoodness, what going on, it's a wonder that you both have not just said\n"enough is enough", and shut them out of you lives. Your husband is in agreement with you.\nWhy not discuss it with you husband, and tell him how you feel.\nYou do have to be rude to his mother, and stup to her level!\nSure, they keep ringing......They want you both to help them now.....\nWhat were they thinking before...that you both would just forget, and forgive?\nAsk you husband, if you can politely say.....Thank you for the birthday wishes,\nhowever, we have a life of our own now. I am sorry, but our hands are tied,\nand we cannot help you in any way....something like that.....\nLet your husband speak to them also.  No way, you both have made a life, without them,and put up with all the abusive language from them....\nTell them to move into the property that was put in the daughters name.\nDo not feel guilty!!!!  and do not change your lives, not with that kind of in-laws.\nGo girl, and your husband.....do not put up with it....you both only live once, and its Your Life and Your husbands!!!!
674466
Inlaws are bullies against their daughter inlaws usually because their sons don't stand up for their wives.  Any man worth his salt should stand up for the committment he made to be joined with his wife.  That means he has to let go of being tethered to his parents apron strings.  Good luck.
503666
You handle him by being polite, but firm in your rules regarding your children.  But don't make it a drama on your part.  You might be surprised to find his brother a very charming individual, and you may choose to bend the bed time rules by 30 minutes or so.\n\nHowever, the tone of your question sounds more like you are using the bedtime rules to avoid doing something YOU are unsure about.  This is really wrong, but it does come in handy if you need to extract yourself from an uncomfortable situation.  So, again, don't make it a big dramatic issue.  Just start with 6-8 and then you make the call from there.\n\nRemember also, how would you feel if your favorite Aunt were coming to visit for the first time, and your husband decided HE didn't want to spend any time with her.  Family peace is mostly what you make it.
767385
ok, so i lost you there at the end, but... there is always someone who gets all weird & acts distant to the family. they usually have other issues & i really suggest just staying out of it all & avoid such drama. making a fuss is only going to piss the brother off instead of making him WANT to be around the family. you can't assume it is only the woman who wants to keep him to herself. unless he says that. there may be much more to the situation than what you realize. so, i would just enjoy the family you have & accept your brother for the decisions he chooses to make.
1073750
I am in a similiar situation.\n\nMy someday soon-to-be sister inlaw is very irritating to me.  She is Very judgemental, opinionated and I wouldnt be surprised if she hates the idea of us someday getting married.  So, needless to say, I really understand your situation.  Now what to do... I will give you the best advice I can, even though I havent yet solved my own situation.   \nFirst of All ~ Always remain focused on your man and on your relationship with him.  He is the one you are with.\nAt family Events ~ Try finding someone else that you can hang out with and/or relate to.  Or, spend extra time in the Kitchen helping with food preps or other busy work.  Be Helpful.  If she is mean to you then she will look like a real loser.  You will look great cooking, helping etc.\nHope these tips help.  Best wishes to you.  Be yourself I am sure that is good enough.  OH & don't worry too much, most of what we worry about never actually Happens!!!
934944
Send him a letter? Dont you dare. He should always back you up - you are the one he is married to. I think you need to find alternate arrangements for babysitting. Quietly, with dignity, make other arrangements. If the grandma and aunty are not respecting your wishes, what makes you think they wont be disrespecting you infront of your kids? Try to put some distance between you and his family, so you and your husband can form your own tight knit unit. Then when you want to, you can see them on your terms. As dr phil says you teach people how to treat you - dont put up with it. Demand a higher standard of behaviour from them.
944297
I was in a similar situation where I lived with my wife's family for a while before we got married.  Her parents are amazing, but her brothers were the laziest bunch of a**es I'd ever laid eyes on.  I was the only person cleaning the house, mowing the lawn, shovelling the snow, washing the dishes, etc, etc.  When in their house, I always felt that being the outsider, it was an obligation of mine to help out whenever possible.  \n\nIt's tough to say in your situation as you don't mention where the problems are coming from.  My wife was always worried that I would leave her because of her family, but I told her that I was with her because of her, and that her family would not change my mind, no matter how frustrated / angry they made me.  We moved out of the house shortly after the wedding and I was much happier for it.\n\nMaybe your bf feels that he has no privacy, is trapped in a situation where everything he does gets scrutinized, and can't really relax or be himself.  When I go home, I want to sit back and do anything I want, but being in someone else's house just doesn't give me the flexibility to do that.\n\nYou need to talk to him and see what he is thinking.  If you don't know why he's upset/unhappy, you need to find out.  Maybe moving out is the only way to change things for him.  It did me and my wife wonders.
367509
Tell your husband you don't like hanging around with them and why.  If the reason is good then he will probally respect your wishes and plan less things together as a group.
205823
Well, the best advice i can give you is to talk to him about it.  You need to explain to him that that's not the way to talk to your family and he needs to explain his differences with your family differently and more respectfully.  Include that you will not put up with his crap and that he needs to get his act together or you don't need to associate with him any more.