Married to a man who has cheated on me over and over again and has a child with one of the women.Should I him?
108686
You definitely need to get out of the relationship you are in. It is unhealthy for you AND your children. Their father is not setting a good example for them, whether they know about his infidelity or not (they eventually will find out). You are lucky that you have not tested positive for HIV, however, do NOT believe that you are out of the woods. HIV can be dormant for a long time before it shows up on a test. And you can still pass it on even if you don't know you have it. You should get tested again 6 months and a year after your initial test to be sure you are not infected. \n  As far as the other man is concerned, I definitely think you should take it VERY slowly. You need to end the relationship you are in and let your children and yourself heal before you jump into a new relationship. If you have found a friend on the internet who makes you feel better about yourself, that is wonderful, but you should keep it at that for now. Don't allow yourself to be swept into a new relationship at such a difficult time in your life, you won't get the real boost of confidence you need which only comes from realizing your own self worth. Once you have ended your current relationship and are on your own two feet and supporting your children, then you can see where this new relationship takes you. Ultimately though, you are the one in this situation and only you know what is right for you and your children. As far as the age difference, who cares!? Seven years isn't that big a difference in my book.
87661
As a married man, stay at home dad of 3 children, i can tell you why, but I have never cheated.\n\nYou hit the nail on the head when you said he has children.  The wife is no longer sexually active, her focus is now on the children & the man has become a spare tire in the family, only needed in emergency.  You see, the man is made out to be the bad guy here & he deserves it, but the wife has driven him to this point.  If he has sex, it is once a week at most, if he is lucky & she is like, put it in & get it over with.  When i got married, we used to screw almost everyday, passionately, now it is the lame azz something i dont even call sex.\n\nBesides the above, men are PIGS!\nWell, the simple facts are, men have a high sex drive & have trouble saying no.  I told my wife one time, if some fox came up to me & said i want to blow you, my pants are comin down.  I have never heard of any man turning down head or sex---EVER!  If it has happened, he should be in the guiness book of world records.\n\nAs far as him leaving his wife goes, all a line he is feeding you.  Like when i was in high-school dating my now current wife & banging all the other girls that wanted me to leave my girlfriend/current wife.  I fed them anything that got them into bed, knowing full well, i was not breaking up with my girlfriend.  Now, add to that, he has kids & pays all the bills.  If he leaves her, he loses seeing his kids when he wants to + he loses his house, possibly his car.  Plus, he is gonna lose at least half of his paycheck every month + half of any cash he has saved----NOT GONNA HAPPEN!\n\n\nIf you dont believe me, I want to date you too & I promise, I will leave my wife.
704876
some do and some don't , most of the time I feel they do, but I have seen people that haven't cheated on their wives ever again, or else they got real good at sneaking around, I guess in time if you stay with him you will find out if he has or hasn't, its going to take alot of time for you to totally trust him again, Good luck to you
717227
That certainly is a tough situation.  If he isn't willing to stop seeing her in a romantic capacity and he isn't sorry about what he did then yes, you might consider divorce.  You also need to consider if you are going to be able to forgive him and also if you are going to be able to be ok with him having a baby and/or you being some kind of stepmother if thats what happens.\nWhat he did is not excusable and he had no right cheating on you.  Talk things through with him and see where you both stand.
724572
Aww honey its okay!! Feeling like this is perfectly normal but cheating twice?? I would say take him back if this was his first offense but honestly I dont even know the guy and know that he will cheat again..I'm sure you still care about him and have feelings for him but if he cared for you the way you care for him then he wouldn't have done the things that he did!! You can do better and he will be feeling ALOT worse than you when you move on and know that life can go on without him...I've learned the hard way and always forgave but now I have a baby and what started off with a little cheating to ALOT he didn't stop and would try to lie after a night of romance and come home to his daughter and me..Leave before it becomes something more..A promise just cant be believed anymore..Good luck hun and hang in there..Time heals everything :)
609851
It's very hard to fully trust a person after they cheat. Even if you forgive them, it's always in the back of your mind that they did it. However, some people have moved beyond a cheating history and married and lived happily for many years...if you truly believe that he won't cheat again and that you have it in you to marry this man, then you should.
244620
There is no doubt you should leave.  You need to because it is what is best for you and for your kids.  It also may be the only way he will reach rock bottom and truly work on his problems.  You and the kids deserve a life as hard as it may be that isn't lived around him and his problems.  You've given all you have to this marriage but he obviously refuses to give as much of himself.  You deserve more, and your kids deserve more.
223901
Listen, little one, you need to send this guy back to his wife. Since he cheated on her, he'll eventually cheat on you. Once a cheat, always a cheat. You'll always be wondering if you can trust his relationships with other females. He needs to go home and work through his problems with his wife. Moving in with you to play house isn't solving his problems. It should really bother you that he's that kind of fella. I will guarantee that you'll have problems, some time in the future. How will he handle them? Will he go seek out some soft young thing to tell all his woes to? Or will he work through his problems? This guy's a loser, and a coward. No matter what his past life is like, he needs to deal with it. If he's already tried working it out, then he needs to get a divorce before he starts a new life. I would also suggest that he gets some counselling, to work through any left over issues that weren't worked through in his marriage. You sure don't want all his old baggage on YOUR doorstep. If he doesn't work through it now, you and he WILL be doing it later. I have experience in this particular thing and would never steer you wrong. I know that you've given your heart to this man, based on the promises that he told you. But, didn't he break the same promises that he made to his wife? It doesn't matter what kind of woman she is, he promised to always love her and would never leave her. I think you need to find a fella that doesn't have this kind of baggage. Also, another thing to think about...if he has kids, you'll have to fit that into your life too. And if the only thing you do is have sex when you're together, what does that say about him? For your own sake, tell him to go back to his wife and work it out. I know, for a fact, that there are really nice, single, fellas that would love to have a relationship with you. How do I know? Because my 32 year old nephew is STILL single...and looking for Mrs. Right! And he's a hunk, if I do say so myself! You deserve so much better out of life than this guy. Lastly, you say you have a family. Does that mean mom & dad & sibs? Or are you married too. If you're married & fooling around, you need to stop it too and work out your problems with your husband. He doesn't deserve that, no matter what kind of guy he is. Two wrongs don't make a right. <*)))><
998090
Marry them....and then stay with them for 14 years.\n\nIt served him right - he is married to someone else now who, I hope, is torturing him all over again.
115872
sounds to me like he wants to have his cake and eat it too.  you need to tell him look here is how it is going to be...don't let him call the shots.  this  is your life he is messing with and your childrens lives too.  if he wants to be with the other woman then make sure he knows what he is giving up.  if he still wants to leave then kick his butt to the curb and find you a real man who knows how to treat you and your children.  don't wait around for him to make up his mind, make it up for him.
223367
He's married and has responsibilities under God to his wife whether you are in love with him or not.  If he isn't coming to see you then he doesn't need your companionship and if he is cheating on you, you shouldn't be surprised as he is afterall cheating on his wife with you, right?\n\nYou may not want a husband and only the companionship and that is every womans right but not when it comes to a married man.  There are more men out there who are single and would love to find companionship with a nice woman...maybe you ought to change your ways a little and those same nice men will one day find you and want to spend time with "you".  \n\nTake the time to look inside yourself and see what the consequences of your actions have done to your life and to the lives of others especially when you have aborted a child.  Have some respect for yourself too...obviously your self esteem isn't very high nor were your standards when you slept with this married man.  Not to say his were!!!
141608
If you really love him and you are sure in your heart he won't cheat again there is no reason not to give him another chance.  We are all human and make mistakes.  The key though is has he really changed, and can you truely forgive him.  If either of these isn't possible then move on.  If they are, then give it a try and be careful with your heart.
751551
I agree with RaRa. Once a cheater, always a cheater. Who needs to worry everytime you are not with him that he may be up to no good? Be with someone you can trust!
258711
no, leave other peoples man alone there are plenty out there. and you don't want this one either because if he is doing this to his wife now, then u wont b the last. he is one big loser for cheating on his wife now.  and if you married this guy what kind of friend would u b called?? put yourself in the other person shoes, IT HURTS AND NOBODY SHOULD GO THRU THIS THAT WAS WRONG OF BOTH OF U. REAL FRIENDS DON'T TOUCH.
255395
I've been there.I've been married three times.Why?Because I cheated on my husband(s)and felt guilty!Tell your wife and let her decide what you should do.She will probably divorce you then you can do what you want.If you cheat again you will start that vicious cycle all over. Don't cheat!
106529
Depends on what you want to tell him. What part of your past? I read in a advise column in the newspaper about this husband who after many years of a wonderful and loving marriage found out from someone else his wife had an affair with a married man before marrying him. He went nuts and now thinks of her as dirty, not good enough for him. Watch what you want to share with him. If you have had previous lovers or such, I 'd say no.
205640
You'll either have an affair or you won't.  If you do have the affair, I can promise you that no good will come of it but this may be a lesson that you need to learn on your own.  Your private life will be based on lies that you'll be required to tell and keep up with in order to maintain the affair.  And if he's cheating on his wife with you, you're probably not the first and probably not even the only mistress.  This man is not monogamous.