Adult Siblings of Alcoholics/Addicts?
111985
Look, either the kids are gonna grow up and do the same shit their parents did or else they're gonna stay away from the same shit that they saw their parents do. Everyone is responsible for their own actions.
1089842
My mother the alcoholic....she drives me crazy the way she treats my baby sister...  she is 25....treats her like crap.....oh well we will be meeting in about 13 days, so if you hear of any problems in Dawson creek, ya know what happened....lol
384488
my sister-in-law just gave birth to her baby girl and she's 36..both of them are healthy and doing fine. just tell your wife to not to drink or smoke and do what the dr.s tell her to do and they will be fine.  i send you my wishes and best luck to the 3 of you!!
456201
I know exactly what you are going through!  I've been married to an alcoholic for the past 23 years.  He has always worked and provided for us.  We have two children, one who is grown already(22) and a son who is 13.  You need to sit with him and have a heart to heart talk with him, when he is not drinking (that's very important).  He sounds like a good man with a problem, just like my husband.  If you continue to let this go, even though it's already affecting you, believe me, things will change and not for the better.  After so many years, our marriage has gone down the drain, he even left me for another woman for several months. (A woman that drank and partied with him, of course).  He's back home with me but it's never going to be the same, because he's still drinking even though he's detoxed several times now.  I wish you the best of luck.  And one more very important thing.  Make sure you have resources to take care of yourself and your children.  I was left without any, and I'm making sure this never, ever happens to me again.  I won't allow it.  Take charge of yourself, because if he doesn't change, it's not going to get easier.  Take it from a pro. If need be, look up an Al-Anon meeting in your area.  They are very good in making you realize ways you can help yourself.  If anything do this for your kids.  Even though they may be mentally challenged and he doesn't drink around them, doesn't mean it's not going to affect them.  They are still young, but they won't be for long.  And if this affects you, it will definitely affect them.  Children have a sense of when their mommy is not happy.  Believe me.
609670
usually its not the oldest...its the second child...been good studies on birth order characturistics...sex isnt an issue...but same sex siblings have a higher occurance...\n\nmost doctors agree...the second child from a young age, feels they arent getting enought attention. the truth is a first child has the parents un divided attention, the problem arises when attention is divided amongst 2 or more siblings...the question is how does an infant cognasize that the first child had all the attention?..\n\nmy wife is a wonderful caring nurturing loving woman  of 50 years old...has a sister who is 3 years younger who had 2 children...all subjects are girls...her younger sister has been a bad mom and wife, her parents took her children away from her at about 25 yrs old...leagaly adopted them...cause their mom wanted to be a bar fly/ crack whore/heroin addict...which she still is today...totally different from my wife....my wifes sister the crack whore had 2 girls...3 years apart and the oldest is a wonderful mom and wife, has 3 kids, and is a respiration therapist at Bethsna hosp.,...and her younger sister is a titty bar dancer /bar fly/ crack whore , just like her mom...i dont have any ansers....
140347
You may be looking for Nar-Anon. It's basically an extension of NA (Narcotics Annonymous). It is a support for family and friends of addicts. It teaches you that you are powerless of your loved ones addiction and not responsible for their actions. I've been in the same boat as you. Good luck. \nI don't know about talking with recovered addicts. Most NA meetings are closed, which means it's for addicts only. You could contact your local NA and ask when they have open meetings.
72101
I've heard that there are AA (Alchoholics Anonimous) support groups world-wide. I think that the notion that you refer to is also referred to in the U.S. as one form of dealing with the illness of Alchoholism.
614787
Both parents being alcoholics shows a definite lack of responsibility and an inability to care for the child in a normal environment.  There is always some type of abuse occurring in the home, as tempers flair when 2 parents drink to excess.  The child deserves better. The parents will have a chance to go to rehab, but alcoholism is not acceptable.
365775
Alcoholics Anonymous people are arrogant? I've always found the people that went through the twelve step program rather humbled by their experience. I'm genuinely surprised by your insight and can offer no explanation, I'm mystified.
209976
have you tried ALANON?....it's a program, such as Alcoholics Anonymous, that helps those who have a problem with family members or friends.  Do this quickly...I'm an alcoholic and I know the pain you're going through.
747532
You are probably self medicating. Maybe you are trying to cope with some kind of internal problem. I know how it feels to not want to go to a professional and get probed with all these ideas that don't help. Try spending time with family away from the bottle. Try to focus on all the good stuff that you do when you are sober and not doing drugs. My father is a drug user and my brother was an alcoholic. I gave my brother support, told him how I felt about his drinking. I told him that I needed him to stop because it hurt me to see him sick in bed, vomiting. I hated having to nurse him. I thought my brother was going to die and I told him that he scared me when he drank and would come home almost passing out and me having to keep him up. I almost lost my brother a few times. He was depressed but I told him how much I loved him. Maybe you need someone to really tell you how it makes them feel to see you drinking or doing drugs. I told my dad that I hated him doing drugs, so he hid the drugs. He is still doing drugs and I told him I wouldn't talk to him or see him until he became clean. Professional help doesn't always do the trick. You need family and a support system. This is the only true way to kick the habbit and feel better. Try little steps. I know not from my own experience but from the experience of my loved ones. They tried professional help and got nowhere. You got to be willing to change before you can change.
822190
Try this website:\n\nhttp://alcoholism.about.com/od/homework/
766494
There is a suspected genetic component to alcoholism and other addictive behavior.  Traits clearly run in families.  What is not as clear is how much of the behavior is learned vs. how much is genetic.
546826
Frustrating isn't a strong enough word for what it feels like to live with an addict.  Your sister needs professional help.  It is unfortunate, but your allowing her to live with you may be enabling her to continue destructive patterns that are keeping her from moving forward in her life.  You didn't mention your ages, but it would appear you are both well into adulthood.  Are your parents living?  Do they also have issues, or did they, that may have contributed to your sister's problems?  \n\nYou cannot save your sister, and you are not obligated to take care of her for her whole life.  You should see a counselor yourself to get guidance and referrals to resources in your area for dealing with the types of psychological issues your sister is facing.  \n\nIt is going to be tough, no doubt about it.  You should seek a support group to help you with your feelings of guilt and obligation.  You are NOT responsible for your sister.  I hope this helps.  \n\nTake care of yourself.  God bless you.
518958
There's really very little that you can do if your sister is an adult. You cannot do the work for her. She is going to have to want to change it herself, and that may or may not happen. The only thing you can do is have her involuntarily signed into rehab. Talk to a lawyer in your area to find out if that is an option in your area and in your situation. However, if she doesn't want to change, then she will just go back to her ways when she gets out. I'm sorry that you have to see this happen to her. \n\nThe way to handle this is not by buying books. I know that you have good intentions, but I can see some of how I would have reacted to that kind of method when I was younger. I think that it may be seen by her to be pushing, and I think that she may react to the pushing by rebelling even further. To me, that would have said, "I am better than you, and I am not proud of you, and until you do this this and this, I will always be better than you." I know that's not how you feel, but it is how the behavior appears to her, I think.\n\nI think that your attitude should be very humble... find common issues that you have. Think about how you are similar. Talk about your mom with her. Talk about your dad with her (but don't judge his addiction). Talk about your pain. Let her be the one to give you advice sometimes - in short, be seen by her as a sister and friend rather than another parent. She'll be much more likely to listen to you if she doesn't feel threatened by you. Changing gears like this may take some time. \n\nIf she gets to the point that she begins to lose a lot of weight, her general health becomes bad, or there is some other reason to think that she is in immediate danger, then have her committed. Until then, please work towards another goal - taking away the pressure of sibling rivalry and replacing it with the friendship she wants and the pride that she needs someone to feel for her, just for who she is.\n\nHope I at least helped with some insight into the dynamic between the two of you.
1066756
the children of alcoholics have their own group. ask AA or al-anon to refer you. i know how hard it is to be a child of an alcoholic - i have two children from my marriage to one. it seems illogical to let the alcoholic be and leave him to his own destruction but the message really is to you- that you can NOT cure him. you can NOT control him. you can have a confrontation with him and your friends and family were all of you tell him exactly how you feel but in the end- he is going to make his own choices. it is a disease and one that is very destructive to everyone it touches.  good luck. i know it's hard.
502743
alanon is for the family members of alcoholics.  they could help you.  but i believe there is also a group called narcanon for family members of drug addicts.  \n\ni would imagine they'd be exactly what you need.  search on the net to find either one in your area.