If you love you spouse, but you love the person you know for years, should you stay in the marriage your in?
103517
Who do you want?.. Can't have both, well you can, but that will either be dishonest to your marriage, or you would have to have 2 very friendly ladies that are willing to share.. (not likely to happen since everyone wants that one person for their own.)\n\nIf you are truely commited to your marriage and want it to be forever you need to put space between you and the friend.. Some genious in yahoo wrote "If The Grass Looks Greener On The Other Side Of The Fence.. Move Away From The Fence".. and thats logic for you to follow.\n\nHowever, if you are just saying you love your wife, because you are supposed to say those things, and really want to be with this other person, do it respectfully and get a divorce before making any attempt to pusue the relationship.\n\nIn marriage you have signed a contract with that person to be only with them in front of God and all laws governing marriage... you better really sort this out before leaving because ending this contract of love is unforgivable, and most time irreversable.
1184158
if you are truley in love with eachother, i dont think u can, because love grows stronger when u are with the right one, thats alot of the problem with marriages today, people think they love eachother when they really dont
1047839
Don't you realize that marriage is supposed to last forever..?
1129099
You're so not an idiot!  You love someone, plain and simple.  My husband and I broke up before we were married for two years and I never stopped loving him.  I knew that we were going to be together again, despite what everyone else told me.  Now, 6 years later, we are happily married.  Never stop loving that person, no matter what.  Even if they dont come back into your life, the love you feel, and the pride that comes from that can never be taken away from you.  You own those feelings...enjoy them!
609112
Marriage is work.....hard work, don't let anyone lie to you.  But if you truly love the person, and they feel the same way about you, it can and WILL work.  You have to patient, and you have to be able to see things from the other person's perspective....if you have the right person, it can be very special, though.
525251
I think marriage is a wise decision only if you love the other person. You should care more about the other than yourself. Your life should be truly devoted to providing happiness and well being for the other. You should be able to communicate. It sounds like alot to ask for, but if you are truly in love, you will do all these things willingly, without thinking about it. \n\nI have been married nearly two years. My husband and I made it through the hardest part because of how strong and reliable our love is. Life without a partner to share it with isn't worth living.
498772
ABSOLUTELY!!\nMy husband and I have just celebrated our 27th anniversary married and 28th together. The love we have today is much more than what we had on our wedding day. Our relationship is stronger and deeper than ever because of the 28 years we have been through together. You always hear the saying "through all the ups and downs", well it is so true. There were so many times during the first 5 years that I could have said "see ya". But I didn't. We had our first after we'd been married two years, he lost his job shortly after she was born and jobs were real hard to find so we had no money. We had to rely on family and other means to survive. But we did. I had faith in him and I had my Faith in God that we would get through. \nThere were many other financial hardships through the years that should have torn us apart and would have torn other couples apart, but we refused to let that happened becaused we loved each other and had faith in our marriage. We worked together. There was one time around our 17th year that we separated for awhile but I am too bullheaded to let him throw all that time away. So with some fight and work we saw what we needed to do and what we had done. We took each other for granted.\nOur marriage today is stronger, more passionate and devoted than ever. We have a greater understanding of what each other needs--time for each other and for ourselves. Be there for each other but know when to step back and stand beside each other for each other against all others no matter what.\nHe is my heart and soul. He is in law enforcement and I send him out every night with a kiss, a hug and I love you. The rest is in God's hand. I know there is always a chance that he may not come home or he may get seriously hurt. I take that chance because I love him that much. I can honestly tell you this much. If for some reason I would lose him to his job or by nature, he will be it for me. There will be no other in my life. That is how deep he is in my life.\nSo yes, there is long-lasting relationships and deep abiding love. It takes two to make them and lots of hard work every day. But the rewards are worth every minute of the life you will have together.\nI hope this helps
844740
I would stay. Because if you knew that you made each other happy and that it would mean they leave this world happy. You cant ever give anyone the gift of happiness greater. Even thought it would be hard knowing that they could slip away at any moment, i would personally stay with them
1121218
I think that you should over think this! You shouldn't get married to someone that you are not in love with. Liking someone and loving someone is completely different. Once you marry them that should be it. You shouldn't go into marriage counting on the divorce card as a back door. You really have to stick together through good and bad, sickness and health, richer or poorer and it should be forever 'til death do you part. People that go into marriage half-hearted are the ones raising the divorce rate. If you feel this way, you should talk to him about it. If you know that he's going to propose and you go and date someone else...that's a sure way of knowing you are not ready to settle down with him. You should be truthful to him and yourself. At the same time, you should marry someone that you can be yourself with. Best wishes.
98412
For them to have gone outside the relationship there had to have been some issues, either with them or between u both. Before anything address those problemz. It also dependz on what u feel for that person and how they feel for u. If there'z luv there and a willingness to work thingz out, then there might be sumthing to save. Also, u have to remember, if u do decide to stay in ur marriage that u have to forgive that person and u have to start clean, u can't use their infidelity as fire power for later spatz....that will eventually cause more problemz. Hope this helpz :-)
468975
If you're married, no. You knew what you were getting into. If you're not married ... ask yourself why you got into this relationship in the first place. Are you that fickle that you'll change partners on a whim. I'd say your partner would probably be better off without you.
1040090
I truly believe that a marriage can be saved from anything. Yes it is hard but years of a marriage is just to important to just throw away. Human Beings are just that we are not perfect and are subject to mistakes. It is how we deal with those mistakes and grow from them that will in the end decide on the chances of the marriage surviving. Just because we falter does not mean that we are not worthy of the love of a spouse. Love consist of many things incluing tolerance so if you keep in mind that this is the man that you love and the man that you chose to marry and he does the same you can keep the lines of communication open and hopefully you can get back what it is that is obviously lacking or missing from the marriage. Just never stop talking and listening and growing.
66590
In my experience, NO...I wasted two more years of my life "trying" to stay married.  Good luck!
977788
You get married because you love that person and you want to spend the rest of your life with them. You want to really love that person and you know you are meant to be with them. There is not a time limit on love. You just choose.
224652
My personal opinion is that if 2 people live together they are more willing to work at staying together knowing that they can just walk out of the relationship. You try harder to get the other person because you love them and are willing to sacrifice your all to stay together. When you get married that piece of paper is like a prison cell. You begin to think you own the other person and more likely than not you start telling the other person what to do. This then starts tearing the relationship apart. Some people think once the ring is on the finger you can tell them what to do and when to do it. It doesn't work.
308125
Definately NOT, exspecially if you have children. If you no longer love each other you will only end up more miserable in the end, by staying together.  If you have tried all the avenues such as counciling, talking... and nothing has worked.  \n\nDepending on how long you have been married, if you have children, it can really take it's toll on them without you even knowing it!  They see and understand more than we know, and if you are miserable...they are!  \n\nTake time to explain to them. And if it is mutual, you both talk to them. Let them know it isn't their fault, and bear the responsibility. Never accuse one or the other in front of them. \n\nThe one thing I have learned about love, is comfort, and if you are no longer comfortable in your relationship, it isn't worth the time to waste.  \n\nIt's hard to tell anyone to end a relationship, but life goes on...a little hard at first, but it gets easier and can be better! Good Luck.
11901
A marriage can be very important if you want to be with them for life. Studies show that live-in relationships on average don't last as long as marriages do. However, do not jump into marraige just because you want to live with someone. Learn as much about the person before you make a serious commitment of marriage or moving in.