Are bystanders afraid of bullies?
104393
It depends, I had a teacher in Fifth grade, I was gonna say acted like a Drill Sergant, but in reality he was much worse.  He would throw books, flip desks, and I even saw him slam a classmate into a wall after school.  Granted I was a problem child and so was the other but if they would have had a camera in that classroom I am sure he would not have been teaching.  In any case he left bystanders in fear.\n\nIn High School I found more of a group mentality, where they behaved like dogs.  Typically it was not the biggest, toughest kids starting fights or picking on people, what I found is the little rats that hang out with the big dog are the problem.  They picked on me because I was usually walking home alone 2 hours or so after school ended because I had a problem with authority.  I made an easy target for 12 or more kids hanging out, the little one would make stupid comments, after ignoring the comments they got physical and started pushing, I continued to ignore for while.  Soon they gathered around, making it clear that I was not going forward without confrontation, what they really wanted was humiliation, not that it isn't humiliating enough stay after school everyday after being kept in the office on suspension, yes everyday.\n\nA couple of them grabbed me and held my arms while one of the smaller one decided he was going to start punching.  Not quite sure what I did to this day that they hated me like that.  After 4 or 5 punches I wriggled my right arm loose grabbed my direct assaulter and head butted him, this was when the big guy stepped in.  He punched me a couple times upside my head, I was hurt pretty bad, so I started attacking eveything and everyone around me.  It was right then that a car load of High School Seniors went by, I didn't know them but they ran up in the middle of everything and stopped the fight.  They told the group that if they wanted to beat me up that they were gonna have to do it one at a time and they were gonna watch to make sure no one else got involved.  After that the bullies had no interest in fighting me, in fact a few years later after I dropped out, I would have been a senior.  I saw a number of the bullies outside of a football game, and one of them made a comment again, I thought for sure that I was going to have to fight someone.  Then low and behold out of the back of the crowd it was the big dog saying you don't wanna mess with him he's Looney Tooney.\n\nSo not always.
247274
A young man would most likely feel afraid because many fathers are or are stereotyped as being very protective of their daughters. My own experiences have been much different and I discovered that my previous girlfriends father shared many of the same interests as me.
1035765
I am not afraid of them, but I do feel intimidated by them - I don't know why this is.\n\nI have discussed it with my friends and they all share my view.
536876
I don't necessarily believe that people are mean.  What I do believe is that people are scared and when you are scared you will do anything to protect yourself and the ones you love. We live in a fear based society. Fear is a very powerful emotion and I believe it manifests into what some may call "meanness".
931633
MSN groups has an Avoidant Personality Group which addresses social phobia. Instead of avoiding social situations because of your fear, you may want to put yourself into these situations so that you can eventually feel more comfortable - pick relatively "safe" situations such as a church group or a group in which a common interest is shared (sports, cooking, etc.) It may also be helpful to have a friend or spouse accompany you in certain social situations.
125573
Well, my old boss at blockbuster went to school with him(his name is Brian Warner)and says in school he was a geek...I figure he's just making up for it and psychologically speaking, it's amazing what happens to people when bullies pick on them...think maybe he's getting back at those bullies now, no matter how wierd he is?
1168216
Here are some things for you to keep in mind, and share the appropriate parts with him.  It is part of an answer I did a while ago for someone who was being bullied .....\n\nIn dealing with a bully, do be assertive, but the child being bullied is not usually strong enough to fight the bully physically ... bullies don't pick on kids who are stronger than them. \n\nBullies don't go away. It is true that bullies are cowards, and tend to back down when people stand up to them, but bullies also seek revenge. Unless bullies are stopped, they tend to get worse and worse, not better. \n\nMost schools have someone you can go to so that some adult will know about what's happening and can begin to stop it - a guidance counselor, a teacher you trust, the principal, someone. Can you go to the bully's parents and tell them? If the bully has actually attacked the child, go to the police. The bully can be charged. This is not a laughing matter. No matter what the bully has said about not telling anyone, TELL. Here are some well researched tips on dealing with bullying:\n\n1. If you are bullied, TELL. Telling is not being weak or being a coward or tattling. It is helping to protect everyhone from that bully.\n2. Tell someone you trust - teacher, counselor, parent, some other adult. You CANNOT handle this yourself. \n3. Do not retaliate or get angry. This could make things worse.\n4. Respond evenly and firmly or say nothing and walk away.\n5. develop good strong friendships and support each other. Bullies tend to pick on kids that they think don't have many friends or kids thye think others won't hlep.\n6. Act confident.\n7. Try to stay away from places the bully will be if that is possible. For example, take a different route to school.\n8. Avoid unsupervised areas of the school.\n9. Try not to bring expensive items to school that might attract the bully's attention and that he might try to take or break.\n10. To gain confidence and feel stronger and feel that youcan take care of yourself, enrol in a self-defnece program if one is available, or a martial arts program or something like that. Self defence programs teach you some very good skills, very quickly.\n11. Join a group, such as Scouts, a cadet program, or something like that, so that you have a special group of friends. \n\nGo to the website www.bullying.co.uk/ which has lots of information for parents and for kids about bullying and about some things you can do. I think this website might really help you figure out some good positive things you can do to deal with this.\n\n\nI hope this answer has something of value in it for you.
665239
it depends on the person. you have to look at their family backround. they can b abused or hurtr by past people, so that can effect their esteem, they could be bullied. on the other hand, they can hav high esteem because theirfamily loved them or they were getting good grades in school. it all depends.
918107
Yes. Everyone I know or have gotten to know, tell me later they where either intimidated or where afraid of me cause I came across as angry or mad.\n\n My soon to be ex even told me that before we got together she was afraid of me. Even now my nieces say that I frighten them. they are in there late teens. \n\nI'm a serious type of person, but deep down I'm just a big lovable bear.
49841
They are afraid the girl doesn't like him.Or that he is scared what other boy's would think of him.Or he is shy.
723689
i am a grown woman now but in school i was the bully, and theyre right ,i, at least was very insecure and felt better about myself when i would put other people down. noone did anything to help me (or stop me) i eventually grew out of it when i learned to love myself.
662268
I looked up the definition of bullying again and it refers to a bully as "a person who makes himself or herself a terror to the weak or defenceless"... interesting with the present fixation with terrorists - are they just bullies all grown up?\n\nIt was many years ago (about 40) when I was at school and yes, I was bullied, physically, verbally and emotionally - though it wasn't recognised then and came from both some teachers and other pupils - presumably because I was 'different' (there was no recognition of gifted and talented pupils in my day!).\n\nWhen I was around 35 years I was hospitalised after an attempted suicide and because I had a history of depression (from about the age of 15). During therapy it came out about the bullying (as well as my mother's attitude) and, based on that, I worked through the issues, went to university at last (I'd been bullied into believing it was not for me) and have now been depression free for 18 glorious years! \n\n(In all honesty though I have to add that my early experience seems to have turned me into something of a victim too. I ended up in an abusive marriage - yes, men can be abused too! - perhaps unable at some level to know who I was unless I was being bullied?)
60807
Because bullies are not smart enough to know the answer, and that is why they are bullies in the first place.  It is a vicious cycle.
1032564
You would need a support network. Tell as many people as you can that someone is bullying you and you need help.  Name the bully.  If you are a kid tell as many adults as possible. ONe adult may do nothing.  Name the bully.  A bully is generally a coward and will be afraid of a group of people that confront him or her and tell them in no uncertain terms that they will not be tolerated.  Don't go anywhere alone and make a friend that doesn';t take crap and is larger and stronger than the bully.  Take a digital camara photo of the person or persons ...like a mug shot and hang it up all over school or work and it should say on it ...Danger if you see this Bully ..Do not approach.  Or wanted Bully...Do not approach Danerous bully.  If a bully is know to the community and suffers public humiliation then they have too many witnesses to carry on with their sadistic ritual of bullying other , weaker individuals who have done nothing wrong, and don't deserve this kind of treatment and it has been proven that the individual that is being bullied is usually a more intelligent or in some way superior individual. Arm yourself with knowledge. There is an infinite amount of literature in the library on the psychology of bullying. Know your adversary.  Take martial arts .  Be very very confident and don't let your weakness show externally but be brave.  When you talk to the bully talk in a loud firm confident voice and show no fear.  Remember a bully is the ultimate coward.  Good luck
407437
I used to beat up bullies in highschool when they bothered kids whether I knew them or not... See, I was little all through elementary school, and I got picked on and bullied ALL THE FREAKIN TIME. In 7th grade, God gave me a set of guns for my birthday that made me look like I was on steroids. The first fight I ever got in was cause a kid was pickin on me and callin me steroid boy. What an idiot. So when I got to tenth grade, i started to take my revenge by waiting for guys to pick on little kids and I would pulvarize them. It was great I had thought about getting back at them for years, and now my revenge was a good thing. Life can be so sweet. I HATE BULLIES AND MEAN PEOPLE. So look out all you bullies, cause one day the little people will grow up, either physically or financially and you will regret your ignorance.
482238
Innocent bystander: You are scaring me.
18401
While many people believe bullies act tough in order to hide feelings of insecurity and self-loathing, in fact, bullies tend to be confident, with high self-esteem. They are generally physically aggressive, with pro-violence attitudes, and are typically hot-tempered, easily angered, and impulsive, with a low tolerance for frustration. Bullies have a strong need to dominate others and usually have little empathy for their targets. Male bullies are often physically bigger and stronger than their peers. Bullies tend to get in trouble more often, and to dislike and do more poorly in school than teens who do not bully others. They are also more likely to fight, drink, and smoke than their peers.\n\nTeens who come from homes where parents provide little emotional support for their children, fail to monitor their activities, or have little involvement in their lives, are at greater risk for engaging in bullying behavior. Parents' discipline styles are also related to bullying behavior: an extremely permissive or excessively harsh approach to discipline can increase the risk of teenage bullying.\n\nSurprisingly, bullies appear to have little difficulty in making friends. Their friends typically share their pro-violence attitudes and problem behaviors (such as drinking and smoking) and may be involved in bullying as well. These friends are often followers who do not initiate bullying, but participate in it.\n\nAs mentioned above, some teenagers not only bully others but are also the targets of bullies themselves. Like other bullies, they tend to do poorly in school and engage in a number of problem behaviors. They also tend to be socially isolated, with few friends and poor relationships with their classmates.