I am 16, should I go out with a 22 year old guy without my parents knowing?
103410
Once again, I know you're not going to want to hear this...but I say NO.  There is a reason your parents don't love him - he's too old for you.  Age does not become as much of a factor when you're older (read:  above 18), but right now, it's just plain illegal.  Some states have an age of consent (usually 16 or 17) but if your parents want to, they can press charges against him if it goes beyond anything friendly.  \n\nNow, I also know this won't get me a best answer, but that matters not and I will tell you anyway - I've been in a similar situation.  I was 14 and very much "in love" (I doubt that you really do love him, after all, how long have you known this older, very nice, very HOT! guy?) with a 19 year old.  When my father found out about him, he pressed charges to the full extent of the law.  To make a long story short, my sailor boyfriend (he was in the Navy) ended up paying a huge fine, got Dishonorably discharged and did some jail time.  I don't know if he had to register on a sex offender list as this was 11 years ago.  That makes me 25 (almost 26) now.\n\nI have to ask you, what on earth would a 22 (almost 23) year old want with a 16 year old?  You say he's very nice - I hate to tell you, but it's probably an act.  The only reason an older guy would be interested in a teenager (yes, you still are a teen, even if you are blossoming into a woman...you're still a minor) would be to get into her pants.  The other reason is that you might still be a virgin (I hope so - don't go rushing into that) and well, a lot of guys like that.  I doubt there's a lot that you have in common, due to the age gap.  \n\nIf he really does care for you, he will wait until you're 18.  You won't even be able to drink until he's 27 or 28!  Is he gonna want to wait that long before you can enjoy a night on the town?  Believe it or not, I know a guy who was arrested for having a drink at home with his wife, who was at the time 20...she was still underage.  \n\nHow did you meet this guy?  It is kind of bizarre for there to be such an age difference...is he a family friend?  A friend's older brother?  Please don't tell me you have met him online.  Teens and twentysomethings travel in different social circles.  There might be another reason your parents don't like him (aside from the obvious) that you don't know about.  How do you know he's never been in serious trouble?  Have you done a background check on this guy?  He might have spent a night in jail for whatever reason, have outstanding debts etc that he is hiding from you.  \n\nYou shouldn't go behind your parents' backs - you will lose their respect and obviously you have no respect for them either.  Perhaps have him come over and have a discussion between the 6 of you (make his parents come also) over dinner.  Perhaps you two can stay in contact (as FRIENDS only) for a couple of years, then explore a relationship.  Keep in mind then, he's gonna be almost 25...What do HIS parents think about it?  Granted, he's an adult (whereas you are not, even though you might think you are) and his parents really don't have a say in what he does, but it would be good to get their opinion also.  They'll probably say the same thing everyone else is.  \n\nAlso, if your parents decide that you can date him by going with what STRANGERS online decide, then they have some serious thinking to do about their choices.  No matter who says yes (age is just a number I've seen posted a few times here), it is still ILLEGAL and I can't believe they would actually consider it.\n\nI'm sorry that I wasn't a help to you, but you should know how it really is.  Any adult (especially judges) will look at this and say it's a classic example of "guy wanting to get into a young girl's pants" and then lock him away.  Wait the 2 years.  Hell, you might even hate him when you start to
841761
You don't say no. You tell them that you are flattered and that you like them to, but that you are not allowed to date anyone because you're parents still think you are too young. \n\nThe truth in this situation really is the best way to go because you don't want him to think that you don't like him.
1135615
You're the person that is going to be in the relationship, NOT you're parents.  Plus, emphasizing outward appearance is not something parents should teach their children.\n\nIf he's a great person and has a great personality, that goes WAY further than his looks.  Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and if you think he's a beautiful person, who cares what he looks like.\n\nI say go for it and if your parents hassle you, just say that you're not dating him for looks, but for the person he is, the way he treats you and the way he makes you feel.\n\nGood luck
321371
It really depends on how old you are. If you are say, 22, and he is older than you are then, no, I don't think that the age difference is that big of a deal. If he is the younger one you should be at least 32 for the age differencet to be okay. One question, do his and your parents know the age difference? Are they okay with it? If not, find their reasons behind thinking that way. But, if the reasons are unreasonable based then don't worry about it. Overall, as long as you aren't illegal, I'd say that it is alright.
62433
I was 16 when my parents allowed me to start going out on dates with a guy alone.  Prior to being 16, I was only allowed to go out in groups.  Before I was 16, I can't really say that I supported their policy, but in hindsight, I'm glad that they made me wait until I was 16.  Before 16, I don't really think that you are mature enough to think seriously about what you really want to get (and give) out of your dating experience(s).  Even at 16, it's really too young to think about seriously dating anyone since most people now are going to college or pursuing some kind of higher education.  Regarding your friend who is 17 and has not been out on a date...is it because he is not allowed or is it because he doesn't have any desire to date?  Maybe he is just very selective about who he wants to date and hasn't found someone that he would consider dating.  Remember that when you are dating, your feelings are involved.  Maybe he doesn't want to feel obligated to push things to the next level with a girl and he is trying to avoid doing that by not dating.  I think that in time, your buddy will make up his own mind when he finds somebody that sparks his interest and he feels bold enough to ask her out.  He's 17, not 27.  Give him a little time to come out of his dating shell.  He's probably still just starting to get comfortable with who he is.
298723
well just let your parents know about him and let them see that you are a responsible adult by letting them know. you shouldn't hold it in and then they find out on their own and then it will all go down hill from there. that's my advice.
664931
He sounds like an upstanding guy. Why would your parents be mad? Is it just the age difference? I say tell your parents everything. The may like him they may not. But you are now 18 so you can make your own decisions on who you date.
404076
It really depends. first lets look at this from a legal point of view. It might be against the law in your state for a 16 and 22 year old to be together...as in sexually...as in statutory rape... as in 3 to 9 years jail time. But from another view. It really depends on the people in the relationship. A strain can develop from you two being on different levels, intellectually, mentally, physically, emotionally, experience wise, etc. you don't want to be talking about what happened at lunch at school while he is talking about the latest college parties or work whatever. There may also be a problem if your parents/guardians don't want you dating somebody who is that much older than you. I won't say that 22 is too old for a 16 year old but it may be more work than you should have to commit to as a 16 year old. PS older boys are in to older things(things you may not be ready for.)  what ever you choose BEST WISHES!
1029673
There is NO WAY ON EARTH that a 14 year old should be going out with an 18 year old.  It is not "against the law" to date, but anything sexual with him is a crime (for him, not for you).
430299
first of all how old are you? and how old is your boyfriend if he is 18 or over and you are like 14 15 ya i can see why he is to old but on the other hand if you are like 16 17 that is ok its not to old. but if you are still living in your dads house you need to do what he wants untill you are old enough to move out on your own and believe me the way this world is now you dont want to do that any time soon.
816675
how old is way too old? go out with the guy you have known for 4 years. It sounds like you may be able to trust him more
902084
i was dating a 17 yr old & we were gonna stay together when he got to be 18 (we're not together right now but thats cuz he moved & wanted a break)but sure u guys can date but i suggest to keep it secret
213819
Well, that depends on your age. I'm dating a guy that is 21, but i am also 21.\n\nI think it is fine as long as you are at least 16.
939087
honey you are 9 you shouldn't be going out with a 14 year old!! you need to break up with him and tell your parents!! you don't want him to do this again or maybe worse next time. do something NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! please let us know what happens and how you r doing.
1084991
You mention the word "respect". Check out the meaning in the dictionary.  I would not do anything my parents wouldn't approve of. Think of the consequences before you react. If you have to lie about something you know it's wrong even before asking someones opinion. And...this 22 year old MAN could be incarcerated for being with you.  You two are breaking all kinds of rules. You say you are mature. This will not be a mature move on your part.
368507
i went there the same thing when my parents found out that i liked a 17 year old. all i can tell u is if u've gone on this long w/ your bf & they just found out dont change your mind bout him....try 2 get them 2 let u have him over 4 dinner or something so they can get 2 know him a little.  good luck
307878
uhhhh im 13 and i have a bf...i never really made a point to tell my mom, it just sorta came up in conversation i guess...I did tell my grandma cause me and her talk about EVERYTHING shes like my really old best friend lol but neway, she sorta brought it up and my mom dint really care, it freaked out my dad a bit but he got over it lol. of course, my bf is 13 too, so ur parents may be a bit more shocked if they find out that ur goin out with someone way older than u lol