How to I get my pre-teen to be normal I don't know whats wrong he's changed and I don't know whats going on
117244
it's pretty hard to know what the problem is, based on the vagueness of your question. my first reaction is that you've lost touch with your son, which means you've gotten out of the habit of talking to him in a conversational way. and exactly what are you looking for in saying "normal"? does that mean he's not what you want him to be? because most kids won't be at various times. \n\npre-teens are, as a part of normal growing up, becoming more independent and trying on different personas in order to find out where they fit in the world. it is perfectly normal for that to be pretty baffling for adult observers. the main thing is to stay (become?) accessible and loving (no matter what). if your child is a stranger to you, you've got some serious work to do. (and it ought to be a Big Priority.)
410027
Be supportive. It sounds like he needs to talk. Let him know that you're still his friend.\n\nExpect that this might be an adjustment for you, as he becomes more out. It'll bring changes for him, too.\n\nIf he's having issues, see if there's a group locally that can help, such as a gay youth group.
1077418
Teenagers these days need morals given by their parents and enforced. A lot of parents don't open up to their child by these issues until its too late. Not only do teenagers deal with this problems, but so do pre-teens. Some parents think, "Oh Jonny is only 11 years old. We don't need to talk to him about that yet." Unfortuantly, many of them are very wrong. Most kids are learning about sex and drugs before they are a teenager.\n\nSociety & the media plays a huge role in a childs mind. There are more bad infuences than great role models out there. A child gets confused. \n\nMorals aren't set into the childs mind. Discussions about sex, drugs and its concequences. Its not taught in school until after a child has had its glimse of drugs and sex. They are already tring to figure it out on their own because they are not getting other help from anyone other than their friends who are already experiencing this issues. \n\nParents need to open up with their child and visa versa.  Family discussions and meetings can connect a family is positive ways. Its not only beneificial to the child but the parent. Sometimes family counciling is very helpful to families with difficult issues. \n\nWith all that aside, A teenager (or pre-teen) who feels threatened by the peer pressures of drugs or sex. Just say "No thanks".  Its not worth the concequences. Enjoy your life as a kid, follow your dreams and reach them. Be knowledgeable and make something good for yourself. If you fall into the traps of peer pressure, you lose yourself. There is only one "you" out there. Make "you" someone good, someone great.
747640
Normal for a teen...quit complaining!
734260
just talk to him and make Sheree you dont make him feel handy cap try to avode his cancer i have lug cacer and im 14 and im tyered of people telling me how bad they feel for me i just want to have peiople talk to me normaly
423728
if ur sure tht wht he is gotten into is really bad...u need to tell the parents. save the kid from making a big mistake. he might be angry at u for a while but when he grows up he will understand tht u meant only good .
576295
He will change when he gets through puberty.  Thats when he's goings to come to you for advice.  It will allow you to mend your fences.  Don't expect him to like or understand girly stuff.  Guys aren't allowed to fully understand girls - its a rule.
14434
Your lifestyle may not be acceptable in his generation. Goth isn't a kind of person, it's an identity tool, and we need them (especially in our teen years) to help us seperate ourselves from our parents. I wouldn't bother trying to make him understand anything. He'll either get it or he won't. Fighting him on it will probably make things worse for you. Just act naturally, like yourself, and if you continue to be a good person and look however you want to look, he'll wise up and treat you like a person again.
334357
Your behavour is modelled after what you have seen growing up. At some point everyone in their lives needs to deal with it. The sooner the better. You are programmed to be in this situation, and until you change SOMEONE WILL BE ALWAYS TRYING TO HURT YOU. Or, you will be hurting yourself. Look into it, see a shrink, get an advice with a social worker, etc. BUT DO SOMETHING. Talk to a friend who is older, but not your parents... They are the ones who contributed to this... GOOD LUCK!
1096323
Sit down and talk to him. Ask him what you can do to show him you're responsible and build up some trust. See what he says. Maybe it's something you're doing/wearing/how he percieved your friends that is causing him to feel this way. Maybe it's not. Maybe it is really your mom's behavior. Whatever he tells you, if he feels you need to make changes to (re)gain his trust, follow his advice. Do you babysit/do odd jobs/have a more conventional job for extra money? If so, bring that up. If not, think about maybe doing that this summer to prove you do have a sense of responsibilty. Do you have younger siblings? If so, how do you treat them? I'm just throwing stuff on the table. I have no idea of who you are or how you behave. I'm just someone who's probably about your dad's age trying to get you thinking from an adult's point of view about reasons that I might not trust my almost 15 year old. Good luck...and I hope you can use something that I wrote!
158921
Wow, what a handful you have! He is high functioning isn't he? Well, I hope you go to see the doctor for his mood. Has he always been antisocial? That is pretty much an autistic trait unfortunatly. Just talk to him about it. How is he feeling lately? Try some theapy with a therapist who deals with autism  (a plus if they are also a relationship therapy.) Are there many that you know of? Have you visited his doctor? Talk to his family about it.
567876
Talk about what you talked about to other people, why should he be any different?  Say what comes to mind and don't worry about if its good enough.  Not everything has to be perfect.\n\nAnd I don't know if this applies, but it goes two ways, he needs to ask you questions too and let you do the talking!
1005100
One parent to another. This is normal. Talk to him reassure him that he is just as special as his little brother/sister. Invite him to help teach his sibling all that he knows(the good habit's of course). Make him more involved in family decisions. Over time you will see a change in his behavior
749399
my answer to everything....get close to his friends...his friends will know if you can talk to them they will tell you....and don't be shy if he's in some of your classes ask him for help w/ homework or something so that you have to spend time together (alone) casually but it could evolve...
505136
I don't intend to me mean, but it sounds like the issue is yours and not his.  Okay - so he isn't as affectionate, but he sounds affectionate enough.\n\nHe isn't the same guy he was years ago.  Let's face it, the testosterone levels of a 20-yr. old would kill him today.  His body just couldn't take it.\n\nLook - talk to him about it - let him know your needs.  It sounds like he will do what he can to accommodate.  However, if he really loves you and takes good care of your kid, you have it better than 90% of the rest of us.  Be happy in that.\n\nGood luck.\nC
537745
You might want to go to your guidance/adjustment counselor with your feelings.  In this day and age when this sort of thing goes on everywhere, it is good that you talk to someone.  If you are uncomfortable it will make you feel better about the situation.  I would too talk to your parents, let them know that you have something of importance to talk to them about.\n\nIt is not professional for him to be doing these things.  He has crossed the line handing out his myspace info to his students.  Even if it is innocent, it is not appropriate behavior for a teacher.  You NEED to talk to someone in your school (school nurse, another teacher, guidance/adjustment counselor, someone)...let them know that you want this to be on record...it could save someones life or sanity.  Most school's keep student's identity anonymous...you are under 18 I take it?\n\nI wish you luck.  Do not let others persuade you to NOT talk...it is a matter of heath and safety!  \n\nAnd the first answerer...you don't even have the b*alls to put a name to your picture you are the one that is small minded!  And truly you could be the teacher she is talking about!
911994
Two things you need to learn:\n\n1)  PUNCTUATION MARKS!!! \n\n2) respect yourself\n\nthe problem with most young teenage girls is that they tend to think boys bring you happiness. reality check: they dont. Sure they give you butterflies and stuff but thats all you think about. have you ever thought about how confused hes mking u feel? how lost hes making you? i mean, here you are telling us all the flirting signs and stuff and you dont know what to do and the more you think about it the more lost you're going to be. the next think you know, u'll b so obsessed with this guy you lost track of life; of yourself. Stand up and speak out. tell him how hes making you feel. tell him that you dont want to waste your time. tell him that you're not something that will sit around for him.\n\nI'm not bias so heres another word for thought. Maybe hes the type of guy who doesnt want to be committed yet. the kind of guy who likes to be with his friends without a girlfriend breathing down his neck, you get what i mean? its a character..maybe hes meant to be that way.\n\nwhen you get the chance you should sit him down and ask him what he meant by "I like you too". "Like" can be of many meanings. dont just wait. take action. you're young. dont waste your youth on some guy. \n\nWrite up some questions that you think need answering (if he doesnt answer you the way u want him to answer you then remember; stay calm. hes just another person whos saying what he thinks. Lets face it, no body's perfect)