Do men or women ever feel any remorse for hurting a good woman/man?
111638
It really depends on the person. I know thats a shitty answer but its the only true answer. Most guys i would have to say no, they dont really care whether they hurt anyone as long as they get what they want. Woman would probably care more so that guys would. But like i said it really depends on the person. One person might feel horrible for hurting someone where someone else might not care at all.
390912
yes a very long time ago and i have regretted it / it was not worth the guilt i felt or the hurt i brought to my wife
557363
I was reading this book and it really made me think about my actions and the actions of those around me.  This guy had a near death experience and he talked about having his life review, during it he talked about experiencing his actions on those around him. He said that he felt what they felt because of his actions. With that said, I would rather not have to feel pain that I caused on another person even if I was justified. I think that in the end as long as I do the right thing everything will be as it should. I know how I have felt when others have wronged me, it hurts, sometimes physically and sometimes emotionally. I don't like it. I think that the wisest thing to do is turn it over to the Lord, he will be the perfect judge. It's not for us to do, especially with our limited knowledge.\n\nAlso I think that it just feels good to do that, I have had to find forgiveness with a few close friends who have hurt me badly. The great thing is that I sleep good at night. It's not good to carry that burden around, holding on to a grudge. Letting go of it gives you peace.
10276
I can certainly relate to what you are going through.  I, too, am a giver, and I have felt so drained of everything after being repeatedly used by someone. Yes, it does hurt badly to be liked for only what you have or can give!  I agree that you should be quick to forgive, and not just when it feels right.  However, you can forgive someone but still keep a healthy distance from that person if they continue doing things to hurt you.  Someone who is TRULY sorry won't keep using and abusing you.  I would suggest you try reading the book "Safe People" by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend. It really deals with this very issue and shows you how to safely choose people who are not going to treat you as a door mat.  In the mean time, go on forgiving, but set up some boundaries for yourself and don't allow people to walk on you.  Choose your friends wisely.  You can still love them, and pray for them, that they will come to see how they have treated you, but you don't want to give them the go-ahead for mistreating you.  If they are truly your friends, they will stop and never do it again.  If not, it's time to meet some new people.
715689
I have wanted to..I still would If I could find him..\nI want to hurt him, and make him feel what he put me through. I want him begging for mercy at my feet, sobbing apologizing, and then I will just made it worse, with no mercy...\n\nBut that person was a monster, whoever he was...
1077744
have watched so many friends make so many bad choices about the men in their lives.\n\nBut that's not really my business. Except for in cases of abuse, I've known to keep my mouth shut. Physical abuse is obvious, and demands to be addressed. I don't think anyone can claim to love a person, and then politely pretend to not notice black eyes.\n\nBut the topic is never as easy to raise at it ought to be. To watch her in physical pain hurt me deeply, but for her to respond to my concern with anger nearly killed me. My heart broke when this rational, intelligent woman looked me in the eye and actually uttered that sick joke of a cliché -- "But I love him."\n\nThere are a hundred ways to argue with that statement. None of them will work. For all of the women determined to stay in violent relationships, there is at least one person who has tried everything to get her out.\n\nI think why they stay is apparent. The abuse never starts out as physical. He doesn't break her jaw on the first date. If he did, he'd be a straight out psychopath, and not your everyday neighbor/wife-beater. \n\nMen, I understand and appreciate that the vast majority of you do not beat up women. But, the bottom-line is there are far too many of you fuckers who do. Perhaps it is unfair, but I am also left to wonder how many potential wife-beaters are out there, just waiting for a woman to stick around long enough. \n\nBy the time a man full-on hits a woman, he is comfortable that she's not going anywhere. He's confident because he has already put her through a courtship full of gradually increasing psychological torture. As any good misogynist knows, a broken woman is not born, she is cultivated.\n\nCareful observation can often identify an abusive man within 10 minutes of talking to him. Sometimes, it takes longer. But, by Date #3, I guarantee he has thrown out at least one neon-sign of a clue that he will someday drag her by her hair. \n\nSome women will dismiss the warning signs as being insignificant. Or, worse, an infatuated women could see the character defects as endearing. She may find his jealousy to be charming, or determine that his rudeness to the waiter is manly, in a take-no-shit kind of way.\n\nThe goal of a batterer is to convince this woman that she cannot live without him. He accomplishes this by stifling anything about her that is her own. With an abusive man, what begins as a jealousy will inevitably turn into raging paranoia. At first, she may find it sweet that he really wants her to be with him, and not join her friends after work. Soon, her friends will stop asking, knowing she "can't" go. She'll be grateful, because the lack of an invitation is easier than making up excuses. Eventually he will cut her off completely from her friends and family, leaving her with no support outside of him. She will be utterly dependent on him, which, of course, was his entire plan.\n\nShe will love him, and she will need him, because he will be all that she has.\n\nBy the time the actual physical abuse occurs, it's too late. The physical violence is simply the culmination of a long and carefully planned ego-trip. Proof, in a maniacal frenzy, that he can do whatever the hell he wants.\n\nIt is far too late for her friends and family to help her. Where were they when she said (again) that she couldn't attend the [fill-in-the-blank]? Why didn't they speak up when he openly insulted her at the last function they did make it to?\n\nThey were where I have been: biting their tongues, knowing it's not their business, and waiting for something bad enough to happen that could justify butting in.\n\nThey will wait for a bruise, and she will say "but I love him." Their hands will be tied, and their hearts will break.
392639
First i broke my cycle of abusers, I have been married to a wonderful man of 5 years whom has never laid a hand on me or cheated on me, doesnt go out with frieds without me we are always together....but when i was younger and stupid i dated abusers and cheaters. A good guy back then was too nice, up my bum, and tried to hard.  After several tries and hurts, a friend of mine made me write a list of qualities in a husband and father that i would want in the future.  and i went by that list and found my husband thank god. and the guys that are that way do something to girls... they make them feel like they are nothing and no one else would ever want them. That is why women stay and why women are attracted most of the time to other guys who will treat them like that to.
33883
They may feel bad later on, but I doubt you will ever know it. Unless they end up in a 12 step program and decide to make ammends. I have been hurt a dozen times and never had an apology. What I have done is remember to keep my side of the street clean and learn from my mistakes. The right guy will come along, but you need to be in the right space to deal with him. That means taking care of yourself and not being to co-dependent, not to mention, guys will have more respect for you if you keep your independance and don't let them walk all over you. I had to learn this the hard way! Good luck.
150740
Sorry, no. But a good rule: don't trust anyone to hook you up with a good man. They're either tryin' to pawn off some sucker they feel sorry for, or they don't care either way and just want to feel like they are doing you some big favour.\n\nGood luck though.
493540
You probably are. I don't think she intentionally hurt you, however, instead of doing the wrong thing to hurt you more, she ended the relationship. She actually did you a favor. Not to say that it won't hurt, but at least she thought enough of you and your relationship to end it before she hurt you more through infidelity or etc..
763133
Yes there are decent men out there....love us never having to say you're sorry, because if you love someone, you wouldn't hurt them in the first place....a women's worth is so high, they are the life bringer into this world.........treating a lady is easy... if you truly love them....IT comes so naturally...
758110
I would say by your question that a woman has just burnt you pretty bad. There are men out there the same way. I hate it when a woman or man takes another person that loves them so much for grant and then burns them. Like the old saying goes...one bad apple spoils it for the whole bunch......not all people treat other people badly. If they really did love that person they would NEVER treat them bad. If two people really do love each other there is no reason what so ever to manipulate the other for power, or anything else for that part. It should be 50/50 no  matter what.
1101735
Yes, but love is so much more than just the absence of abuse, it is a wonderful euphoric feeling, a warm good feeling that you feel deep inside of you.  A trusting feeling, when you know you can trust yourself with a person mind, body and soul.  \n\nIf you are being hurt in any way by someone, they do not love you. They may really sound sincere when they apologize, but they will only continue the pattern of hurting you each time you forgive them, and allow them to have another chance. The attacks may increase in violence, and duration without any warning. If someone is hurting you or if they are even verbally abusive to you, it's best to get out of that as soon as you can!\n\nReally there is never a good reason to allow someone to abuse you!  Good luck!  Love should never have to hurt.
120443
Yes, I have played this game. First, I truly believed I was not worthy of being treated any better! Please, trust me when I tell you this...YOU ARE A VERY IMPORTANT SOMEBODY! You are worthy! You deserve the best because you are a Queen, and anything less is unacceptable!\nSecond, these kind of men never, ever change! They only get worse. It's almost like they must know, "Hey, she let me get away with that! I wonder if she'd do anything if I ________ !"\nThird, love does not hurt...ever!
30832
yes,i have when i was younger with my first love.i felt i wouldnt do any matter then him so i stayed with him.only when he had a nerveous break down i wanted to leave but,his family said he needed me.the family was saying it was my fault of his nerous break down so i had to stay with him."guilt"
891050
I don't think so. But I know when I dishonor either of them, I may be happy about it at the moment, but in the end I feel the guilt. Sometimes when I think about how much/the look on their face of disappointment, I get mad/frustrated with myself for not knowing better.
505881
You just do. Maybe you feel guilty after your betrayal, of 1.50 to 10 years ago, and can't stop thinking about the person you betrayed, and can't stop feeling guilty about not getting married sooner, nor about not giving your child a father, which is what all good mothers would do. Then you're ready.