Why am I 21 and already been divorced twice? Is something wrong with me?
111100
Maybe it s not that there is something wrong with you, but with your conception or idea of what marriage is and what sharing your life with another person FOREVER means to you...  There is long way to talk about this, I have some personal experiences... if you want to contact me I can try to help a bit giving you some ideas of what you can do...
445246
Thanks for making that clear for me, I was going to ask you out.\n\nBut seriously folks, you have to understand that people do not plan on getting divorced when they get married.  I sure didn't.  When my wife left me, she left me with two children to raise.  Did I grow up and dream of being a single father, no, but it is the situation that I find myself in.  That being said, There is still a lot of love left inside my heart for another person.  And I don't feel that I am alone on this one.  To say that you would not go out with someone that is divorced is cutting your self short and loosing out on the opportunity of someone that has already been through heart ache and really understands what having a good relationship means.\n\nGood luck on your search for the pure ones on this planet, it will be a very long search.
792622
Hi lady, Ya know I am kinda the same boat. Ive been married twice, the first one for 14 years. She is a great lady and all but we just grew apart. The second one was right after my first!!!!!!!! Bad judgment on my part! I found my second wife, I think too soon, because I was so lonely. Ive been divorced from her for almost 4 years and Im very happy. I said all that to say this, I dont know your whole situation but after my second divorce I realized it was my turn. I didnt have a lot of friends and found myself at home a lot cleaning or reading a good book. Now that sounds boring , but I was content at that time. I needed more, as well as you, I wanted to have some fun , as you I didnt get in the bar scenes so I thought I was limited. Well guess what , the few friends I did have were waiting for me to ask the same question you asked.  First I started going to football games with friends then to some races and now we have a group that meets every saturday at rotating houses to watch the races and socialize. Ive really found a great group of friends both new and old and havent been to a bar yet. My advice to you is to turn to your friends and tell them your delima. I guess my answer is FRIENDS!  By the way Im 43 and now scuba dive, play tennis and many other things all due to my few friends! good luck , you sound like a great lady
674722
What's the hurry...you are still young and it's great that you have waited and not been quick to jump the gun. Divorce rates are at an all time high and you aren't going to be one of those statistics. My best friend didn't get married until she was 37. It's okay. She will come, don't worry. Don't rush these things...they take time. Obviously you are an intelligent man, or you wouldn't have waited...you know the risks involved. Think of it this way, the longer you wait and the older you are...the less likely you will get a divorce! Don't sweat it, she'll come!
309356
OK, you guy, I am not a boy, I am a girl, but I am answering your question because same thing happened to me,for the best and I think my answer might help a little...\n\nWhen I was 20 I had my child, (although I didn't get married) and 2 yrs later I met a really nice guy, he was 28 at that time, we began dating, I was really sure I didnt want to go back with the father, so, we dated for 2 yrs and then we got married, 8 yrs ago. \n\nHe's been the BEST father and husband, and I really think he is a great guy, just because to take care of a child that's not his is a great decision, a big step. We now have another one age 3!\n\nLots of people can say "dont get in trouble, get a single and only' one",  (they said that to my hb a lot!) but if you do love her there is nothing to question about. Just don't nag about the past, if it's what you really want, go for it.  Just propose, and obviously, if she says yes divorce and etc will come later. \n\nGood luck, dr!
197625
Yep it is hard to get back out there after being with the same person for a long time.I Have been divorced for over 3 years separated for over 6.If you just got a divorce you probably should not jump right into a relationship.But is hard to be alone so find yourself some old friends and hang out.If you are interested in a certain type of activity hang out there and find people with same interests.I myself cannot wait for the racing season to start at the dirt tracks....And am looking forward to going to hang out and drive the go carts in cottage grove.So hang where you are interested like baseball game... and find someone female that is interested in same things and build from there.I am also from Minnesota. Good luck.
387585
I really dont know about the legal issues. But after a divorce, I would think that socialising, meeting freinds, would be a good idea, but this is the time to have a good look at yourself. Reading a bit on the past, and thinking of where and what went wrong, analysing issues within yourself might help. Immediately dating, getting involved with someone may be just to cover up for your present emotional self. Iam not saying you are imbalanced or cant judge for yourself, but emotionally just getting out of a relationship, specially marriage which was a serious committment, you may want to just take it easy and slow. This is the best time to just wash away all the negative aspects of the divorce thats left in you, and then slowly move on. Getting involved in activities that would divert your mind, getting more positive, moving around with freinds, travelling perhaps.. would be really good, ... Slowly as you get your life back together again, and you know its right to or its ok to be involved with somoene and most importantly, it feels just right, then move on. \n\nGood luck !
512681
Well, in one way I don't blame you but in another way, I disagree.\n\nI was married to my 1st. hubby, we were planning to get divorced, we paid off all the debt prior, well except the mortgage which I would get since I was keeping the house. So we both walked away without major debt and a good credit rating.\n\nWell due to a few issues I had no control over, my credit became badly bruised. My issues were the fact that my 1st. husband died of cancer, there were children involved, which meant loss of child support. My 2nd. husband could not keep a job due to his mental & substance abuse issues, I was unaware of his issues until after marriage & baby. He was good at hiding stuff. My 2nd. husband had horrible credit, another thing I was unaware of until after marriage. He owed thousands and thousands in back child support & back taxes and he took bill money from the bank account whenever we faught, he was really immature. We (I) was forced to file bankruptcy chap. 13 to rearrange my debt then at a later date had no choice but to convert to a chap. 7 and simply eliminate the debt. I was supporting a family of 5 on my own with a hugh bankruptcy payment each & every single month.\n\nMy 2nd. husband is now also deceased, he comitted suicide and left me to figure it out on my own. \n\nSo now, I have a bankruptcy on my credit but I have great monthly income, I make more than many well educated people do & my income is solid.\n\nSo that is where I can agree with you. Had I been more careful about my choice in 2nd. husband, I am sure things would have been much different financially.\n\nBut now I am involved with a wonderful man that has awesome credit and a strong steady work history, almost 29 years with the same employer. I was up front about my financial situation when we started to really get serious and make bigger plans in life. Thankfully my man does not hold my past issues against me and he is in deed willing to build a life with me which will soon include marriage and the purchase of our first home together. But, I will tell ya, I did insist on seeing my new mans' credit report once we were getting serious. I will never allow myself to put in another financial situation like I was in before!! He was actually perfectly fine with it too.
514580
Not sure if im late here but here it goes.\n\nIt's ok to be confused because youre in the learning stages there are many things to experience like what the guy above me said.\n\nI've had 3 long term relationships at your age, and now 10 years later, when I see my ex's we laugh about all those crazy fights we had.\n\nJust take a deep breath and look out into the horizon, 10 years from now you'll just realize how funny this all was.\n\nOh course you love him, I loved all my ex's too and I;ve talked about marriage to all of them funny thing is, time makes breaking up less cloudy.\n\nAnd yes you are hanging onto him because of the memories and all the experiences you shared. But remember people don't grow when things are stagnant.\n\nYou're here for a reason, and its either to get validation for breaking up with him. Or understanding why you feel the way you do, so why do you feel the way you do??? \n\nI guess I missed your last post, but Im gonna assume its because youre not happy. Listen to the guy above me and go out there and live life!!!
562586
Alls I can say is....rebound relationships. You both just got out of long term relationships, which probably means you both got your hearts broken. Now you are leaning on eachother for support and that's fine, but you are confusing support and friendship with love. It's nothing new and that's why so many people that have been divorced once, get divorced twice. I suggest you don't move and just keep a friendship up...it's only been 2 months...that's not long enough to make a life changing decision. Good luck in whatever you decide.
283848
I myself am now just getting my divorce finalized at the end of the month. The amount of time varies with how comfortable you feel about seeing another person. It takes some time to get adjusted to the "single life". I have to agree that you don't want to introduce your children to someone that isn't serious. It's bad enough you had your heart broken by someone but you don't want your kids to go thru that over and over. It doesn't make you look good as a parent and your kids will grow up seeing you differently. Bottom line is there is no set time limit. It's all on how and when you feel yourself when you are ready.
39362
I've done that in the past 3 years.  You need to find yourself again.  Me and my ex-wife split and I had a difficult time getting on my feet.  But I eventuly did and everything is great now.  I'm going back to college and trying to make my life better.  Maybe a little to prove I can.  It may take time but don't give up and always remember you are a great person and can do great things.
45093
Hey single 20 something divorced female here and it has been so tough being divorced and single in my 20s I am just PRAYING my 30s are phenomenal!!
741264
13 years is a really long time.  I don't think you are giving yourself credit because it has only been just a year. I am not sure about running out to meet other women is the best way.  I think that just makes a person vulnerable to more hurt.   I think that if you look over the year and think about how you were right after the 2 of you divorced and where you are at now, I bet you see that you have made  progress.  Time does heal it just may take a little longer for you so don't be so hard on yourself and I do believe that in another 2 months you will be even a little closer to smiling without faking it.  It has been 4 months for me since I had any contact and it has been a very happy time for me.  Somedays better than others.  I decided to volunteer my time on a day that seems to be the hardest for me.  I also got back in contact with the friends I blew off while I was seeing this person who was so toxic.  What a waste of my time on this earth.  You will eventually heal, I am holding on to that belief myself.  Good luck.
171836
hi once when u took u r divorce legally its totally ur wish that when u can  get into bond agian and i donn knowwhy u r thking of divorce but always think twice beofre doing anything because life is too short yaar we cant go on do mistakes and learn fom them any way all the best  and hope all good happens to u
1142726
These girls dont know what there talking about. Ive been exactly where you are. I was 18 and I fell inlove with some 42. It sounds so bad. I know its not "normal" but its not wrong either. I dont feel like you should cheat on your husband even if you've asked for a divorce. I feel that you should wait until its completely over. If the older man trully has feelings for you then he will wait. I wish you the very best!
337779
Divorced and single? I don't know I've never seen it before.