how would I know if a man is really serious about me...im widow with kids????
99083
You have a heart don't you? you will know. Secondly do you two get on good together is he understanding etc. And finally is he good with kids. You don't need to worry that he won't love you because of the extra You just have much more to give.
572545
this man wants to have his children with you, so you should be hounoured.. he's pretty serious about you then!!  so smile girl..at the end of the day  u can control how many kids you have. I think it's cute..lol  it's 50 -50 with guys and girls wanting kids from what i've experienced.
1159689
I would be really suspicious if I didn't know basic information like marital status, kids, where they grew up, where they work, where and how they live, how they spend their time and with whom....who are the meaningful people in their lives....and so on. \n\nAside from the basic stuff as listed above, you should also have figured out their (honest) personal views about relationships and how to treat people, their goals in life and what moral guidelines they follow. That should be enough to give you a sense of whether you're compatible enough to go beyond three months. \n\nThe first month, people are usually on their "best behavior", but second and third you start noticing if their actions match up to the way they're trying to present themselves...its an indication of how they'll treat you as well long term.\n\nBut trust your instincts. If you're asking this question, you may feel something is amiss. See how the person reacts if you were to ask about any of the above. If you can't communicate openly after three months, you may want to ask if its worth continuing to date this person.
480523
hi Jennifer, i think this man loves u but he has a problem with u so whenever u get closer to him he feels like doing something to u. just find the right time and talk things over. but please do it in a respectful manner. and also about the divorce do not think about that yet cos you have children with this man so if u go ahead with it, it will affect your children. but if things gets out of hand u better live before he harms u.
1025420
ALL!!! His looks, personality, religion and other things like his job, how many kids he wants and if he treats me right!!!
909541
As soon as you get some self respect you'll realize he isn't worth putting yourself through all this!  You said he repeatedly hurt you (that is NOT love) doesn't care anything about your or your kids (that is NOT love).  Why bother with him?  You can go find a good man and move on.  He'll keep using you as long as you let him.  You've already given him 13 years of your life.  Thats 13 years you'll never get back--from a man you said yourself doesn't love you.  Or your kids.  They should be a high enough priority in your life that you stay away from him.  Is he the kind of male role model you want them to see?  Is this unhealthy, hurtful relationship how you want to teach them to live their lives?  They'll end up unhappy, too.  Move on for everyone's sake.  Good luck!
955334
honey to let you know i am basically going threw the same thing but i am the divorced one w/a child. and there is this wonderful guy.. put just give it time. if he really likes you he will let you know or just come out and ask him where you stand in his life. or you can ask him what he really want in life.. but don't push the issue. remember he does have a child and he doesn't want some body that is going to come and go in there life.. :)
200797
First of all does he love your kids?  Think about your kids first and not you.  I mean that is a bit harsh but don't you want a great father for your kids and for you?  And then, think if he can help you in the long run?  Is he going to be there when you need someone the most, is he willing to take the challenge to be with you or not? And about the 4 kids thing talk to him about it.  Tell him that you do not want to have more or if one day you both get married then you both can have one.  But a relationship is based on many factors too just not love.  There has to be a strong communication between you both and understanding.  If you feel that this guy can be that special someone then risk it.  You can never expect too much from someone else.  Think about yourself and your kids first.  Good luck.
459147
yes im with one but it shouldnt matter whether hes got kids or not as long as he loves you and loves kids and doesnt put his own needs before your kids. good luck
996141
You have said very little about the guy in question. It sounds to me like you may have a LOT of thinking to do before you take any action at all.\n\nFirst of all, why exactly do you want his attention? The reason I ask is that this will have a very big effect on the strategy you adopt. If you are just looking to spend some time in nice company, it would be wise not to get emotionally or physically involved. It will only lead to heartbreak for one or both of you.\n\nYou could ask him out, but it has to be very clear to both of you what your intentions are and aren't, in order to avoid any possibly tragic misunderstandings (e.g. date rape) - again, a good reason to think about all this beforehand.\n\nIndeed, it would be wise to delay emotional involvement until a moment when you feel ready for a permanent relationship, and until you know enough about what you are looking for in a potential permanent partner/husband to be able to measure him against your standard, and find that he fits.\n\nAnd there is much to be said for delaying all physical involvement until after you are actually in that permanent relationship (some, perhaps even most people call it marriage). The reasoning here is to ensure that when you do get emotionally or physically involved, it will have the right meaning, because once you've done those things, in a very real way, there is no turning back.\n\nIndeed, let me point out: the relationship where people leave their parents, commit to each other permanently, and become physically one is one in which God joins people together. This is why Jesus said 'What therefore God has joined together, let no man put asunder' - telling us why we should not break up once we have taken this step.(1)\n\nThe reason I mention this is that it therefore makes very good sense for you to above all take care of your relationship with God (and make sure the man you have your eye on is doing that too).\n\nOK, now let's say you feel you might want something more serious. Take an inventory of what you want in a potential permanent partner. Think 'the type of guy I would want to live with for the rest of my life'. Talk to people you know and trust who are already married to find out what sorts of general characteristics 'work'.\n\nObserve many different people and relationships - not just ones that are attractive, but also ones that aren't. Ask yourself 'Why does this person or relationship appeal to or seem good to me?' or 'Why doesn't this person or relationship appeal to or seem good to me?'\n\nThink about what is involved in a relationship, ask yourself, 'Do I really want this? Is this something I can do? If not, what do I have to do to correct that? Is *that* something I can do?' etc., until you are sure that you really want to be in a relationship at all. If you come to a point where you realize you don't want to be in a relationship right now, don't move forward.\n\nBut let's say you've decided this is what you want, that this is something you really can do. Now, and only now, are you ready to make a start. Before you take any action to attract the guy's attention, try to find out what he's interested in. What groups does he belong to? Is any of this stuff you would find interesting? If not, take that as a warning and don't go any further unless you find something later that you do have in common.\n\nIf there is some evidence of common interests, figure out how you can get involved in some kind of activity in these areas, a group situation where you can discreetly observe him and figure out in what measure he fits the profile you came up with earlier. Again, if he significantly falls short, does not have some really important characteristic(s), don't go any further.\n\nBut let's say, for the sake of argument, that he turns out to be a really nice, good, honorable guy, with more enduring values than just appearances, possessions,
732323
Most guys think that they'll have to take on the responsibility of taking care of you and your kids and it scares them. They dont want that. Even though you tell them you dont want that from them, they dont hear it. There are men out there and wont care you have 2 kids, but they are few and far between. I myself have a son from a previous relationship and I have found a man that I want to spend the rest of my life with. I never thought anyone would want me because of me having a son, but I have. He considers my son his, and I couldnt be more happier with him. All I can say is, dont look too hard. Eventually you'll find someone who will respect you and your kids. Dont just jump into a relationship. Be friends first. That way he can get to know you and your kids. Best of luck to ya!
709113
Sounds to me that he is trying to tell you that he wants kids with you. If he is saying he cares for you and then if he admires your son alot and says he wants kids at kind of at the same moment I believe he is insisting it with you. Love can be weird sometimes you never know how it will start out or end up its just that chance you take. If yall where together in present tense and now yall are back together it sounds to me yall have a very good connection and maybe yall will actually be together til the end. Hope this helps. And remember this is only my opinion.
194130
Truth of the matter is there's not a person in the world who could know how the next person feels. There's only two options. (1) you can believe what he say, or (2) you don't. In the past 16 years of knowing my children - I believed that he loved me. We have 3 - girl 3 children together. We've been engaged a 3 times. Deep inside I knew he wasn't telling the truth but wanted to make sure I stayed in his life cause I was actually his human bank. The last time engage we finally came to the date of us to get married. When I tried to say yes/I do - I kept saying no. Later on (I can true say - Thank god) but he still to this day he's doing the thing as in the past. \nIf you love him make sure that it's the real thing. That it is mutual, caus eif you guys get marriedout of guilt (in my case cause my children) that saying  misery loves company - you will be misery company.
397404
he hugs and say's "i miss" every time he sees me, he give me gifts even when its not a special occation. He never cheats on me. his smart. tallented. physicaly fit. listens to me whenever i have problems. he is funny. have sense of style, tall, handsome yet simple, open minded, and has money(come'on do you want to marry a guy who will give you a 15$ worth of engagement ring from a mall?) \n\nand he love kids :)
612383
Ok I've said this before to others and I'll say it again. The best way to find out is to just ask. Start out by just jokingly playing around or something. But then if he plays back with you then it's serious.
109103
I would just come clean and ask him..."Okay!  You are too perfect.  Tell me the truth...You're married, aren't you?"  Make sure that you are together when you ask it though, so that you can see his face and the way he reacts.  When you are, make it sound like, like you are joking around with him.  If he answers "No.", then ask, "Do you have kids then?"  Better question..."Do you WANT kids?"  Just keep it light, but gauge his reations.
906236
Do you have a lot in common?  Does he meet you half way at least?  Does he think about you while your not around?  Will he leave when the chips are down?  Does he respect you?  Protect you?  Will he still be there after two kids and ten years?\n\nIf you don't know maybe you should date him til you do. My advice take it slow...  Most weddings and divorces happen within 24 hours in Vegas.