Should I leave my hubby?  If so, how?
115769
When did your feelings change?\n\nWhat happened outside of your marriage at that time?\n\nYou may simply be looking for an excuse to leave him.  Your likely some where around 30 and that is a tough time in a marriage or out.\n\nKeep in mind that marriages take a great deal of work and nearly all of them have challenging periods.  That’s when you knuckle down and find a way through the tough times.  Your feelings changed once and they can change again.  Just imagine yourself ten years down the road after you have left him, simply because you didn’t try to work through a tough patch.  \n\nIt sounds as if everything else is okay and since you’re the one disturbed, maybe it is you.  If it is you, you might consider that your feelings toward him are relative to your feelings toward someone else.  \n\nMy wife and I have been together 51 years and married 46 years.  It has taken lots of work through tough times, but somehow it has maintained.
574689
not sure how to answer you sounds like you are married to a jerk. He would probably leave you if you did the same thing. Get out and get a life
95590
Leave him...He needs to deal with his marriage before you and him can have a chance at a relationship.  Right now you are blocking his chance to try and work out his marriage.  By leaving him he will be forced to either make his marriage work or to get divorced and move on.  You deserve a guy who is dedicated to you and a relationship with only you.  If he can't do that then you should find someone who can.
724262
He is just trying to make you take the blame for his behavior.  That is how abusive men work and make you think it is all your fault.  He obviously does not care about you that much if he just up and leaves and puts all the blame on you.  You are better off leaving him and getting your kids away from a man like that.  They will either be abusers or take abuse from someone else.  He walks all over you and guess what, your kids will to as long as you keep them in that environment.  Your husband is a horrible role model and so are you for putting up with him.  You can't save your marriage because he does not respect you enough to stick around and work things out.  GET OUT NOW!!  I pray that you will take people's advice and put you and your children first.  I get mad at my husband all time but he does not treat me they way your man does.  Think about all the healthy relationships you know of and compare yours to them.
301404
leave him, he loose something not you
149996
Move out. Tell your hubby it is me or mommie. no one needs to exist where they are slaves to thier inlaws. I cook I clean I work my butt off sounds a lot like cinderella except there will be no prince charming to help you out.
21997
1.  If you are having problems in your current relationship that you just run away from, they will come back on you.  Get counseling before you do something irrevocable.\n2.  It's not fair to your husband to dissolve your relationship without giving him a chance to make it work better.  \n3.  If you really feel that you should be single, price out how much it will be to leave your husband.  Can you get a place to stay that is safe and affordable?  Will your husband be able to stay where you live or are you going to force him to leave his home?  \n4. If you leave, do you have any single friends?  How are you going to meet these mythical lovers?  Are you being realistic in your expectations or are you daydreaming about finding the perfect lover?\n5. You say you want "freedom".  What kind of freedom are you looking for, and could you possibly find it within your marriage?  And if you can't get it within your marriage, why do you think you can get it outside of your marriage?\n\nWhatever you do, I recommend a book called "Recovering Love", by J. Richard Cookerly.  Ignore the subtitles, the book is really about what really makes marriages work.  It will help you and your husband rebuild your relationship if you choose that path, and it will help you choose future lovers better if that's the path you choose.
684150
I say that you should go.  Things arent going to change with your husband, he can promise all that he wants to but they never do.  If you have found someone who cares about you and treats you good, then you deserve that happiness!!!
144374
By all means tell him now. He will either run or stay. You need to know which way he will go. It's important for the both of you.
344145
Hmmm...I can not advocate that cheating on your husband no matter what the circustances are is right because if you are unhappy you at least owe it to him to voice your emotions and to move on. Just because you don't have a good relationship does not mean that his feelings should be neglected just to satisfy your own. Since you two have been together for quite some time don't you think that you owe him that much to be honest? You say that he treats you badly and that you are unhappy but I'm sorry that doesn't justify your cheating in anyway especially considering that you have no children involved that might cause you to be stuck in staying. As for the guy that you are seeing now, maybe you are in love and perhaps a future with him will be great but you are more or less in that fairytale stage of a relationship where they can do no wrong and this will fade. If this is something that you honestly feel is worth pursuing in order to make yourself happy then go for it by all means. Just remember that your happiness does not need to be based on a man and that you can find it yourself no matter what the outcome. I think that the betrayal and hurt is going to be worst for your husband who has no idea of what is about to surface and that for you it might be hard but that you'll make it since you have realized that this marriage is no longer what you want. I'm in no way trying to put you down or belittle you for your actions because it happens to the best of us since we are all only human but I would definitely consider your situation a little further and make sure that this guy just doesn't look like a better option because you dont really have the repsonsbilities and obligations that you share with your husband. There are no stings attached at this point with this new guy so it makes it all light-hearted and fun and if you do both embark on a relationship (especially a long distance one) there will be difficulties that will eventually come along. I would suggest taking some time out for yourself once you get a divorce and not rush into anything too quickly. I think that you need to hash out somethings with yourself instead of seeking comfort from a man that is merely supplying what is lacking in ur current relationship. Obviously if you decided to get married to your spouse, these feelings at one point or another were there with him and look at what has become of that. I think you need to just really spend some time with yourself and getting to reaquainted with your independent single self before finding an identity in someone else. I'm sure you are a good person and I hope that whatever choice you make that you will find the happiness that you seek. Just remember the feeling of everyone else involved and don't let your heart do all of the thinking for you during a time when you need to use your head. Best of luck to you:)
604066
I actually just told my husband to leave me alone the other day,but he asked me what was wrong and I said,'hormones...just leave me alone'. He did though and I felt better after having some time to myself. I think your husband needs to realize that no one is happy all of the time. We all need time to ourselves and it is good for you and good for the marriage to be able to take this time. As for having a big blow-out about it...I would've walked away. I don't take that crap anymore. It isn't worth it to me to talk til I'm blue in the face,trying to explain 'why'. I shouldn't have to. An argument doesn't really get you anywhere. I tend to wait until things have settled down and then have a conversation about it and find out what he is feeling then. I gave up a long time ago on trying to justify myself to him. We actually have a better marriage this way. Good luck to you.
320033
eeek! what a monster! Won't take his wife overseas? What kind of husband is that? What kind of vows did he make? What's to like/love about this fool? I won't even suggest marriage counseling bec he's more than just plain ignorant about the hubby-wife relationship - he's cruel.\n\nGet out honey. you deserve better. If it's too expensive for all of you to go, then it's too expensive for him to go.\nNot taking his wife along!?! what a sh*tbag! File for divorce, darling. Kick his dumb A** to the curb!
1119567
hi.that's what a lot of married men say.if you love him,you should let him go.tell him you don't want to cause there marriage to brake up.you should say to him you don't want to see him anymore. stand back and see if he leaves his wife anyway.if he doesn't leave his wife,then you'll know he wasn't genuine about the things hes been saying.
745508
follow your heart but communcate that with your husband...and for god sake stop worrying about this stuff and consummate the marriage..its been long enough and im sure hes irritated.
1134339
just leave him\nu deserve sumone better\nhes not worth the trouble u r taking
1094410
move out.  if you feel like you and your kids have to walk on egg-shells around this man, you need to leave.  your kids should not have to grow up in that kind of environment.
1017800
Your marriage sounds like my first one!!  I was with him for 17 years, and he cheated 3 times that he would admit to, and there were several other times that I was suspicious.  \n    You have to decide if you can afford to be on your own.  If you think you can make it on your own, you might move out.  It's a messy thing to go through but it doesn't have to affect the kids negatively if you handle it right.  \n    My first husband left me and the three boys but we've done a lot better since that time.  He's good to the boys but he was dragging me down.  I'm better off without him.  I still can't trust him (to be here on time, to pay the child support, etc.), and  he's remarried and he's someone else's problem now.  \n   You said you don't think  you have the energy to work on this.  I don't think I did either.   The end came as a relief for me.  I stopped loving him, but you say you still do love your husband.  But you're right, you can't have a shell of a marriage just for show.  You deserve more.  You deserve to be happy.  Maybe being on your own will make you happy.  Good luck to you.