tell me a good joke u know?
102126
> ((((RING))))\n>\n>Pick Up**\n>\n>\n>"Hello?"\n>\n>\n>"Hi honey, this is Daddy, Is Mommy near the phone?"\n>\n> "No Daddy, She's upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Paul"\n>\n> (After a brief pause, Daddy says,) "But honey, you haven't\n>\n> got an Uncle Paul"\n>\n>\n>\n> "Oh yes I do and he's upstairs in the room with Mommy,\n>\n> right now"\n>\n> Brief Pause\n>\n>\n> "Uh, okay then, .this is what I want you to do. Put the phone down\n>on\n>the table; run upstairs and knock on the bedroom door, and shout to\n>Mommy that Daddy's car just pulled into the driveway"\n>\n> "Okay Daddy, just a minute"\n>\n> A few minutes later the little girl comes back to the phone.\n>\n> "I did it Daddy"\n>\n> "And what happened honey?" he asked\n>\n>\n>"Well, Mommy got all scared, jumped out of bed with no clothes on and\n>ran around screaming. Then she tripped over the rug, hit her head on\n>the\n>dresser and now she isn't moving at all!"\n>\n>\n>"Oh my God!!! What about your Uncle Paul ?"\n>\n>\n>"He jumped out of the bed with no clothes on too. He was all scared\n>and\n>he jumped out of the back window and into the swimming pool. But I\n>guess\n>he didn't know that you took out the water last week to clean it.\n>\n> He hit the bottom of the pool and I think he's dead"\n>\n>\n> **Long Pause***\n>\n>\n> ***Longer Pause**\n>\n>\n>Then Daddy says, "Swimming pool?? ... "Is this 486-5731???"
1018478
Try these joke sites - www.jokes.com, www.comedycentral.com, www.ahajokes.com.\n\nMight help you.
866999
Real Funny.\n\nRead this one\n\nThe Deaf Genie\n\nA man walks into a bar with a paper bag. He sits down and places the\nbag on the counter.\n\nThe bartender walks up and asks what's in the bag.\n\nThe man reaches into the bag and pulls out a little man, about one\nfoot high, and sets him on the counter. He reaches back into the bag\nand pulls out a small piano, setting it on the counter as well.\n\nHe reaches into the bag once again and pulls out a tiny piano bench,\nwhich he places in front of the piano.\nThe little man sits down at the piano and starts playing a beautiful\npiece by Mozart!\n\n"Where on earth did you get that?" says the bartender.\n\nThe man responds by reaching into the paper bag.\nThis time he pulls out a lamp. He hands it to the bartender and\nsays..."Here. Rub it."\n\nSo the bartender rubs the lamp, and suddenly there's a gust of smoke\nand a beautiful genie is standing before him.\n\n"I will grant you one wish. Just one wish...each person is allowed only one!"\n\nThe bartender gets really excited.\n\nWithout hesitating he says, "I want a million bucks!"\n\nA few moments later, a duck walks into the bar.\nIt is soon followed by another duck, then another.\nPretty soon, the entire bar is filled with ducks and they keep coming!\n\nThe bartender turns to the man and says, "Y'know, I think your genie's\na little deaf...I asked for a million bucks, not a million ducks."\n\n"Tell me about it!!" says the man...\n\n"Do you really think I asked for a 12 inch pianist?"\n\nBYE - Imtiyaz G
695118
That's the best joke I've heard on this site in a LONG time!\n\nThanks for the laughs! Keep up the great work!!\n\n(Gotta remember this one for the folks at work!)
1183872
Read this joke for a change.....\n\nA couple was golfing one day on a very, very exclusive golf course, lined with million dollar houses. On the third tee the husband said, 'Honey, be very careful when you drive the ball don't knock out any windows. It'll cost us a fortune to fix.' The wife teed up and shanked it right through the window of the biggest house on the course. \n\nThe husband cringed and said, 'I told you to watch out for the houses. Alright, let's go up there, apologize and see how much this is going to cost.' \n\nThey walked up, knocked on the door, and heard a voice say, 'Come on in.' They opened the door and saw glass all over the floor and a broken bottle lying on its side in the foyer. A man on the couch said, 'Are you the people that broke my window?' \n'Uh, yeah. Sorry about that.' the husband replied.\n\n'No, actually I want to thank you. I'm a genie that was trapped for a thousand years in that bottle. You've released me. I'm allowed to grant three wishes - I'll give you each one wish, and I'll keep the last one for myself.' \n\n'OK, great!' the husband said. ' I want a million dollars a year for the rest of my life.' 'No problem - it's the least I could do. \n\nAnd you, what do you want?' the genie said, looking at the wife. 'I want a house in every country of the world,' she said. 'Consider it done.' the genie replied. 'And what's your wish, genie?', the husband said. \n\n'Well, since I've been trapped in that bottle, I haven't made love to a woman in a thousand years. My wish is to sleep with your wife.' The husband looks at the wife and said, 'Well, we did get a lot of money and all those houses, honey. I guess I don't care.' The genie took the wife upstairs and ravished her for two hours. After it was over, the genie rolled over, looked at the wife, and said, 'How old is your husband, anyway?'\n'35.' she replied. 'And he still believes in genies?....That's amazing.'
847641
Insert *something funny*
977574
LOVED the joke.  Haven't heard (or read) such a funny joke is ages!!!
904970
I give it a full 20! that joke was probably one of the best jokes ive ever heard!!\n\n llooll!!!!!!! yayayayyayayayayaya
929334
i hope this joke can make you laugh\n\nA little boy walks into his parents' room to see his mom on top of his dad bouncing up and down. The mom sees her son and quickly dismounts, worried about what her son has seen. She dresses quickly and goes to find him.\nThe son sees his mom and asks, "What were you and Dad doing?"\n\nThe mother replies "Well you know your dad has a big tummy and sometimes I have to get on top of it to help flatten it."\n\n"You're wasting your time, " said the boy.\n\n"Why is that?" asked his mom, puzzled.\n\n"Well when you go shopping the lady next door comes over and gets on her knees and blows it right back up."
888279
two points very good (joke)
895844
lol good one\n\nthumbs up for u
687924
This site has some great Yo Mama jokes\n\nhttp://www.daylon.com/yomama/
452212
What has the world come to? People don't seem to make good clean jokes any more (keyword: good)! Sheesh...\n\nHere's one:\n\nA pregnant woman gets into a car accident and falls into a deep coma. Asleep for nearly 6 months, she wakes up and sees that she is no longer pregnant. Frantically, she asks the doctor about her baby. \n\nThe doctor replies, "Ma'am, you had twins! A boy and a girl. The babies are fine. Your brother came in and named them." \n\nThe woman thinks to herself, "Oh no, not my brother -- he's an idiot!" \n\nExpecting the worst, she asks the doctor, "Well, what's the girl's name?" \n\n"Denise," the doctor says. \n\nThe new mother thinks, "Wow, that's not a bad name! Guess I was wrong about my brother. I like Denise!" \n\nThen she asks the doctor, "What's the boy's name?" \n\nThe doctor replies, "DeNephew" \n\n:o)
435779
Joke was really good and its " Fresh "..\nthats more importent..!!\nha..ha...!!\nplease post more jokes..!!\ni rate it as 1/1 =10/10 =100/100=10000/10000.........!
868030
hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha\n\nbest joke i have heard for a long time xx
877278
Thats the best joke i've heard so far keep on going.
1119971
best joke ever????????     GEORGE BUSH