when a person is going thru a very difficult phase, how does it affect the one they love?
110407
dude, my wife is going through some sort of depression/trauma crap and it's eating me up.  I just want to fix it for her so she won't hurt anymore, you know what I mean?  God, I love her so much that every time she cries if feels like someone is crushing me and I don't know what to do about it.\n\nor, at least that's how it effects me.
145770
they feel insecure, that's why they need a great deal of assurance. \nlisten to him/her, don't cut him/ her down or use logic to rationalize with him/her @ this moment. he/ she need you to listen to him/ her.\nthen give him/ her a hug & assure her/him that you'll be there for her/him.\nstay by his/her side, til he/she calms down. then encourage him/ her further.
313492
The recovery period varies for each individual and the issue of knowing when you no longer love somebody is when your heart stops skipping a beat at any response from that person or those ations that used to lure/attract you to him in the first place.\nOne normally recovers after a break-up when one involves in other activities that are of interest and having hope that somebody else was destined to be the "right soul-mate"
1059137
Stacy,\n\nWhen you've spent as much time with someone you love as you have and during that time also struggle together through various dependencies then even those struggles become things we tend to hang on to, despite the bad times associated with them. They become a connection to what we learn to perceive as our own reality so we hang on to them because we find hope or security in them even when that apparent reality is in fact not healthy or secure at all. You've made changes in your personal life obviously to discard some of those dependencies while your significant other has not. Yet you hang on to the one dependency that in the last 5 years has been a constant in your life and that is him, his very presence of being there close to you, touchable and reachable. You still see each other, you sleep together and you do this because you choose to look past his unwillingness to change. Why? Because for you, despite the past, you still try to find hope in a situation that seems to never offer any in return and you can't see yourself either giving up or drastically changing your life to leave it all behind. Maybe this is because you feel you have put so much into it and because by still being with him in certain ways it allows you to believe it may all change. Or, maybe you're just afraid to look to a future of starting over and rebuilding your life without him. Starting over can always be a scary proposition for any of us and just taking the first step is the most scary of all. Not unlike when a child pulls themselves up to the coffee table and for the very first time takes that single step without holding on. We risk falling down but if we measure our risks to minimize the fall then we find security in that and pull ourselves up and take another step. Reading all that you've written and having somewhat experienced similar situations I would be inclined to believe that for you to move on, as you want to do, you truly need a whole new start. New surroundings, new friends and new opportunity and again in my experience I've found the best way to do that is to put distance between myself and the past somewhere new and start fresh in life. Maybe this is for you too or at least something to consider. Scary thought? Sure it is but for someone who's obviously been through as much as you have then I suspect you're a strong young woman who is more than capable of doing so. I will hope for the best for you and should you need a friend in the future then all you have to do is reach out.\n\nBest Wishes Always
570043
They are very very difficult and it really depends on yuor commitment to each other
583041
maybe it goes deeper than the relationship, worst case maybe they did something wrong set a mood and try to talk to that person maybe they just don't know how to talk about it
81629
If you have to ask, you're not there yet.  Love can creep up on ya and just kinda take your breath away.  You'll know.  It's an awesome feeling, but at the same time it can be very hard.
754765
My brother committed suicide and it's very hard.\n\nAre there stages of grief?\n\nAccording to David Kessler, co-author with Elisabeth Kubler-Ross of the last book written before her death: “The five stages, denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance are a part of the framework that makes up our learning to live with the one we lost. They are tools to help us frame and identify what we may be feeling. But they are not stops on some linear timeline in grief. Not everyone goes through all of them or in a prescribed order. The stages have evolved since their introduction and they have been very misunderstood over the past three decades. They were never meant to help tuck messy emotions into neat packages. They are responses to loss that many people have, but there is not a typical response to loss as there is no typical loss. Our grief is as individual as our lives.”\n\nOther experts use terms like “phases” or “cycles” to describe the process most commonly experienced by people when facing their own diagnosis of a terminal illness. Friends and family members go through a similar process, cycling back and forth between the different intense emotions. These phases are often experienced in the sequence described below, but individuals can cycle through these feelings in a different order, and can return to previous phases as grief is processed. It is also entirely possible to feel more than one emotion simultaneously, perhaps to a greater or lesser degree.\n\nDenial\n\nUpon hearing bad news, the most common reaction is a feeling of numbness or shock. We may experience disbelief: "That is not possible … there must be some mistake … you must have the wrong person, the wrong medical records … that can't be true or happen to me!" The mind-body has incredible defense mechanisms. If we pretend that something isn’t true, then somehow the blow is softened. At any moment, our loved one could reappear, or so we imagine. Time seems to briefly suspend itself, at least until the cruel reality of the truth sets in.\n\nAnger\n\nWe may get angry at the messenger who delivers the news, the doctor, the person who caused us this pain (even if that person is now deceased), at anyone we can hold responsible for our grief, even at God. This reaction is perfectly understandable. There is a need to know why this happened and whether the loss could have been prevented. “Who is at fault?” we question. Somehow pointing the finger allows us to divert the pain from the core of our being where it rises up and threatens to overwhelm us. Others may turn their anger inwards and blame themselves for what happened.\n\nBargaining\n\nWe may try to negotiate the situation, either with another person involved, or with God: "Please give me one more chance and I promise things will be better … I will change … If you will reverse this, then I will ___ in return." This is kind of magical thinking where we believe our actions will meet with the desired outcome. Some people attempt to strike a deal with their Higher Power: to stop smoking, to find more time to spend with family, to offer an apology that’s long overdue. At some point, though, we face our limitations in holding up our end of the deal. No matter what we say or do, the bitter truth is that things will not go back to the way they were before. And that’s when the next phase hits.\n\nDepression\n\nWhen we realize the loss is real and unchanging, we may sink into a deep sorrow. Though Dr. Kübler-Ross dubbed this phase ‘depression,’ it is more accurate to describe it as more a combination of loss and loneliness and perhaps hopelessness. We may feel remorse or regret, rehearsing over and over what we could have done differently. Or perhaps we feel guilty that we are still able to enjoy life while our loved one no longer can. This intense experience of sadness leaves us with sparse energy for housework or outside activities. It is common to find o
540240
when you no longer love one another
317795
Your boyfriend has experienced a tremendous loss. It sounds like He is going through the classic, Kubler-Ross' stages of grief, which are:\nDenial (this isn't happening to me!)\nAnger (why is this happening to me?)\nBargaining (I promise I'll be a better person if...)\nDepression (I don't care anymore)\nAcceptance (I'm ready for whatever comes) \n\nContrary to the popular notion ("first comes denial, then anger, etc") these stages are usually cyclical, meaning people don't usually experience them like a checklist. They go through multiple stages at the same time although they might express acceptance one day, the next day, denial. \n\nYour boyfriend sounds like he is currently experiencing depression and anger. You seem like a very concerned and loving girlfriend, and I can tell that it hurts to see him this way, but these are very healthy and typical reactions he's having to the lose of his sight. \n\nIt might not look like it to you, but he is dealing with his situation. He needs to work through these stages in order to accept what has happened and move beyond it. If he just suppresses his grief, he'll still eventually have to deal with it. It will be easier now than later.\n\nYou can't, and you shouldn't try to make him do anything he doesn't want to do. My advice to you is to keep being supportive of him (actions more than words)--visit him frequently, show him that you are not going anywhere. When he is ready to ask for help, or go to a support group, therapy, anything, you'll be there for him.\n\nAlso, take care of yourself. It can be very stressful to see someone you love in so much pain. You might want to look it therapy or a support group for yourself.
161830
You can't help them unless they want help.  It's impossible.  We have run into that problem in our life and honestly, it feels like we are banging our heads up against the wall for all the good we are doing.  When they reach rock bottom, then you can be there to pick up the pieces and try to put him/her back together again.  Sorry I have no better advice for you.
402131
i think you must first understand that as much as people can love each other, their are other factors to adult relations, i think that it is showing that they do not seem to be getting on well right now adn it may mean that it is time for them to move on and seperate but it also may mean that they are going through a difficult time and may have to work at things for a while to make them better.\n\ndefo have a good chat with ur mum, tell her how ur feeling and maybe she will explain to you how things are for her and her partner right now, put ur mind at ease.\n\nif the do seperate im sure it will be best for all concerned, if not things may be difficult for a while as they try to repair things.\n\ni hope everything works out for the best sweetie, try not to worrie to much and remember no matter what happens you still have a very loving family around you that care for you very much x x
515341
When you love someone they complete you. When your not with them or talking to them half of you is gone so you think about them.
1076470
people change..it all depends on how she changed........if you love her, you can deal with it
204576
Bacause you have created a bond with that person while with them, and you have shared a part of you lives together and it is hard when things don't go as well as thought that they would because so much time,effort and love has gone into a relationship that didn't survive the test of time, but you are left with memories and things left unsaid and undone and maybe a few wonder what ifs. Time will fade the thoughts and memories but, for now they are your way of trying to come to terms with losing a part of your life that used to mean so much.
942294
life is hard with romantic love and without it Life would become unbearable
395990
The most difficult years are those when you look upon yourself and discover that you hurt the ones you loved, the most difficult times are those when you learn nothing, but sink more into the abyss of abnormality and oblivion, showing no mercy to yourself and to your loved ones...\nThe good years are when you can take a deep breath, without feeling a slight pain or feel sorry for it... :)