How to overcome the depression after divorce?
103188
My Mom experienced serious depression after the divorce from my Dad, even though she's the one who pushed hardest for it.  She felt that the world existed in couples and that all her old friends were deserting her now that she was on her own.  There were financial hardships too, and troublesome teenagers to try to raise by herself.  The way she evenutally overcame her depression was first to hit rock bottom.  You can't rebuild until you hit the bottom.  Then, she joined a singles club for over 40's.  It wasn't some group of weirdos - just a group of people who were lonely and needed company from people just like them.  Eventually, she met the guy who is now my step dad.  Strength comes from Community, and that's how she turned her life around - by being with people who were going through the same experience as her.
103942
There are many ways you can overcome depression that work very well. The most important thing to remember is that you can control your thoughts and feelings. You can learn to change habitual thoughts and feelings that bring on the moods of depression. \n\nOne of the best ways to combat depression is to stay active. Find activities that you enjoy and seek out new interest. People are usually depressed when they have nothing to do. Get active in your community, join a bowling league, take a class at your local community college, volunteer your time to an organization, or take up a new hobby such as stamp collecting or crocheting. Busy yourself with things you enjoy doing.\n\nBe positive! When life lets you down, make a list of the good things in your life. Even the small ones count. The list can include such things as your family, your friends, your job, your back yard, your health, and even your ability to grill or cook. List items that you are good at doing. You may think grilling a steak to perfection is no big deal, but I have no idea how to grill a steak without it being leather. So, that is a feat to be proud of. On this list put every little thing. Now, when you feel depression coming on, take out this list and read it over and over again. This may help you with your self worth. \n\nDo not let others cause your depression! You can allow others to hurt your emotions, or anger you and this can also bring on depression. Remember the person that is negative is not you! Do not let their moods influence your emotions. So, what they don't like your shirt, they don't like the way you cooked breakfast, or they have some other complaint. You like your shirt, you enjoyed breakfast, and their complaints are just that, complaints without any merit. I am not saying to ignore others, but don't let them drag you down. \n\nDon't sit around by yourself! Being alone and idle can bring on major bouts of depression. Everyone enjoys having others around whether in a small group, one on one, or big social functions. Get out in the world. Find like minded friends and family to occupy those times. \n\nIf you are still having problems with depression and just can't seem to rid your life of these feelings it would be advisable to visit your doctor. There could be a medical reason that is causing your depression such as prescribed medicines, menopause, or other illnesses.\n\nGOOD LUCK TO YOU!!
180683
After 18 months of seperation is when my divorce became final, but I knew it was the right thing when he said "if I can't sleep with you, I might as well go sleep with her." Best worst day of my life. \n\nHere's the thing, if you have any contact and or children, it's a good thing to work hard on trying to find your way back to the good times. If you don't have contact, and no one even wants to make an effort to work things thru, it's time to let it go and get a divorce. \n\nIt sucks, I know. But I am so happy now. I have a loving relationship that gets better and better every day I'm in it. Things were so not that way with my ex. It's not that I never fight with my current mate, it's just the arguments are rare and get resolved. \n\nWhatever happens, learn to love and respect yourself. Maybe you made a mistake with marriage. That's all it might be, a mistake. Learn from it and go on and be happy.
790734
The very first thing you must realize is that you will not die because of divorce. It has happened to millions of people before you and it will happen to millions of people after you.\n\nAlthough divorce cause severe emotional pain, you must believe that you will get over it. Of course, it takes time, but you will eventually recover and find love again. It is very important that you understand this.\n\nIt is crucial to understand that the marriage is over. It is vital that you immediately let go of the other person and begin setting your own life in order.\n\nYou must not think about pain or dwell upon what was yesterday. The more you think about the past the worse it will hurt, and the longer it will take for you to recover. \n\nYou must think about yourself. You cannot allow yourself to just sit and waste away. You need to take hold of yourself and go on living. \n\nIn order to counter bad feelings, you must keep yourself busy - clean your house, wash your car, write out a budget, study or go to work. Keep yourself moving and working on the kinds of things that make you happy.\n\nIt is extremely important that you express the feelings of anger you are carrying or they will eat you alive. The best way to deal with anger is to know exactly what you are angry about and then choose the most suitable way to express your anger to the person that has made you angry. \n\nAnother important thing in recovering from a divorce is to eliminate the feelings of guilt from your mind as quickly as they come into sight. Simply tell yourself that your marriage did not work out. You must forget about your ex as quickly as you possibly can! \n\nOf course all of this is much easier said than done, but these things you must do, and you must do them right away. \n\nTo recover from the trauma of divorce, you must allow enough time for the healing process to be completed and be positive that tomorrow will be a happier day for you.
1155505
Part of the therapy for getting over a divorce is to re-join the "human race".  With a divorce, we go through "separation anxiety" ... and that is a very miserable condition.\n\nDon't feel that you have to leap at the first opportunity to date ... but don't shy away from one that interests you.  Ease back into it, maybe by starting out going out with a group of friends, then a couple friends, then venturing out on your own.\n\nThere is no generally-accepted timeframe for waiting.  Let your own heart and needs determine that.  Just be cautious about "rebounding" and jumping into a worse relationship than the one you just left ... just because "it's there" and you're hurting.
218581
Honey, I know how that hurts. It happened to me with my marriage. I ended up divorced. It does no good to try to pick up the pieces with someone who no longer loves you. You need to just let her go. I know how hard it is but you do get over it in time. Give yourself some time to heal and then think about dating again. It won't be easy but you'll get through it day by day. God will help you and so will we. You can always find a friend here on YA. If you need to talk, my email is on my profile. You're in my prayers, Sweetie. God speed.
616255
You definitely need to see a doctor before it gets worse to determine whether therapy, medication or both are the best route for you to take. Also, a quick fix that I found is eating dark chocolate - it gave me just enough to get over the depression feelings - but it doesn't last long - maybe a couple hours max.\n\n\nwww.mommastayshome.com
678047
I think the most important thing you can do for yourself is accept that there are no magic pills. If you put too much faith in medicine, chances are you will be disappointed because pills do not always address the underlying causes of depression.\n\nThings that you could try instead:\n\n1. Examine your diet. Is it healthy and balanced? If it isn't, think about taking supplements for a while. I know everyone booed Tom Cruise when he suggested vitamins as a cure for Post-partum depression but, actually, he made an important point badly. Poor nutrition is a factor in a vast number of mental illnesses. If you want to get serious about nutrition, buy a book called 'The Optimum Nutrition Bible' and follow the supplementation regime for depression. It will work - promise!\n\n2. Another thing to try (in conjunction with 1) is to take more exercise. It's the last thing you feel like doing, I will bet. But exercise gets those serotonin and endorphin levels elevated and you come out on a high. Even if you are unfit, you come out feeling like you have achieved something when you finish a class. Think about taking up aerobics or using a cross-trainer regularly\n\n3. Try to talk about your feelings. Depression is often caused by repressed anger. Women, in particular, tend to suffer from depression because we tend to internalise stress. The best way to not get depressed is to get used to expressing and asserting yourself. If you type 'depression and anger' into Google, you will be surprised by the amount of material on the web about this.\n\n4. Try to get enough sleep. If you prop your body up with lots of cigarettes, coffee, alcohol or soda (or even recreational drugs) try to cut right down. Try to cut out alcohol as it is a depressant. You know by now that trying to bury your feelings in unhealthy habits isn't working. In fact, it may be making you feel worse. It's time to give up all those bad habits for good.\n\n5. Do what you can to shift your mindset. If you sit there all day saying 'I am depressed', you will feel depressed. I guarantee it. Instead, wake up in the morning and say 'it's a gorgeous day today. I think I'll go for a walk'. Then do it. Or look at your feet and promise to paint your toenails a pretty colour. Listen to some music (no mopey love songs or funeral dirges - listen to upbeat tracks that make you want to dance or sing along). \n\nI too have suffered from depression, for many years. It has only lifted in the last 6 years. I did the pill thing, the alcohol thing, the hospital thing and therapy. But what really helped me was a determined effort to change my mindset - from cup half empty to cup half full. I try to be positive but I keep things real. I think about how I feel about things a lot. And if I am angry, I express it. Why shouldn't I?\n\nIt will not be easy but make a commitment to yourself to take some of these steps. Only then will you position yourself to be free of this burden forever.\n\nTake care and good luck.
1061223
People usually get divorced for major problems that the reasons for the divorce go practically without saying. The reasons for your unhappiness could be depression, and you ought to consider the possibility of seeking counseling for yourself. Do you have a career that makes you happy? There are other things that could be causing you discontentment, other than just your marriage, and that should be addressed too.
678139
Man I feel your pain, been there done that.  Anyways, my tips for you.\n\n1)  NO CONTACT WITH YOUR EX!  Trust me on this one, until you are over your ex, you should have zero interaction with her.  \n\n2)  Workout.  Working out helps you release any chemicals in your body that carry depression.\n\n3)  Pick up a new activity or interest- when you learn something new, you gain confidence, which is something someone that just went through a breakup desperately needs.\n\n4)  Vent to friends until you can't anymore- and if your friends don't want to hear it, go to a counselor!\n\n5)  Pay attention to your hygiene and fashion sense- Give yourself a new look if needed.\n\nGood luck
643238
Try putting post it notes around your house that you'll read. On these notes, put positive things about yourself. Start telling yourself when you wake up and before bed that you are a wonderful, smart person and you deserve happiness. The mind is a powerful thing. If you believe it, then its reality. So constantly telling yourself positive things should help give your self-esteem a boost. On another note, don't keep people around you that are negative. Start trying to find a silver lining in everything. examples...\nYour car won't start that morning...at least it failed at home, and not while you were out and about!\nIts raining on a day you planned outside activities...gives you a chance to read a good book or see a movie.\nA person you love died....at least they are no longer in pain.\nA person you really liked dumped you...better to know now than before marriage and a painful divorce.\n If you wake up every morning and try to be a confident, happy, positive person, one day you'll wake up and no longer be trying. It'll just come naturally. Its all about what you want, and how hard you are willing to work for it. And not letting people take your power from you. Others can only make you sad or upset if YOU allow them to. Life is all about how you spin it.
722912
have you exhausted all other options?  example: talking to a trusted friend/family member, seeking counselling from a higher up in your church and or counselling from a professional?  dont just jump into divorce, you may live to regret it.  my ex husband does..
251828
While therapy and antidepressant medication are the most effective treatments for depression, home treatment is also important. There are many steps you can take to help yourself during a depressive episode and to prevent future episodes:\n\nSet realistic goals for yourself, and take on a reasonable amount of responsibility. \nBreak large tasks into small ones, and set priorities. Do what you can when you are able. \nPostpone major life decisions (such as changing jobs, moving, or getting married or divorced) when you are depressed. \nTry to share your feelings with someone. It is usually better than being alone and secretive. \nLet your family and friends help you. \nEven if you don't feel motivated, try to participate in religious, social, or other activities. \nGet regular exercise. \nEat a balanced diet. If you lack an appetite, eat small snacks rather than large meals. \nAvoid drinking alcohol or using illegal drugs or medications that have not been prescribed to you. They may interfere with your medications or worsen your depression. \nGet adequate sleep. If you have problems sleeping: \nGo to bed at the same time every night and, more importantly, get up at the same time every morning. \nKeep your bedroom dark and free of noise. \nDon't exercise after 5:00 p.m. \nAvoid caffeinated beverages after 5:00 p.m. \nAvoid the use of nonprescription sleeping pills or alcohol, because they can make your sleep restless and may interact with your depression medications. \nBe patient and kind to yourself. Remember that depression is not your fault and is not something you can overcome with willpower alone. Treatment is necessary for depression, just like for any other illness. \nTry to maintain a positive attitude—remember that feeling better takes time, and your mood will improve little by little. \n\nOther Treatment\nProfessional counseling is an important part of treatment for depression. Complementary therapies such as massage therapy and yoga may also help you recover more quickly and improve your quality of life. For information about relaxation techniques you can do at home, see relaxation exercises. \n\nFamily therapy may help you and those who care about you deal with depression. \n\nElectroconvulsive therapy (ECT) may be used for those who cannot take antidepressant medications, who have not responded to other treatments, or whose depression is severe and includes symptoms of psychosis, suicidal behavior, or an inability to eat. 10 \n\nOther Treatment Choices\nCounseling is an important part of the treatment for depression. The types of counseling most often used for effective treatment of depression include:\n\nCognitive-behavioral therapy, a type of counseling that teaches a person how to become healthier by modifying certain thought and behavior patterns. This type of therapy can be provided individually or in a group setting. \nInterpersonal therapy, which focuses on social and personal relationships and related problems. \nProblem-solving therapy, which focuses on the problems you are currently facing and on helping you find solutions to those problems. \nFamily therapy, a type of counseling involving the entire family. \nElectroconvulsive therapy (ECT) may be used to treat severe depression or depression that has not responded well to medications and counseling. ECT also may be a treatment choice for someone who cannot tolerate the side effects of antidepressant medications. Modern ECT treatments consist of mild electric brain stimulation while you are unconscious (under general anesthetic) and are an effective treatment for depression. Side effects of ECT include memory loss and confusion. \n\nComplementary therapies \n\nThe herb St. John's wort has been shown to work for mild to moderate depression, but it can interact with other medications. \nFish oil containing omega-3 fatty acids is currently being studied for possible antidepressant effects. \nSAM-e ( S-adenosylmethionine), a substance that occur
281092
Oh Sweetpea, You should find some help near you, some social help and start the divorcing process, till it's not too late. Your husband thinks that you do not understand much, do not see anything, can't do anything...I think you see and understand everything, you just need help and support from someone who has power to do so. Do not worry about justice in heaven, worry about the present time and your children. God will help you if you want to be helped.
466504
Realize what went wrong.\nThere is no fixing this if the marriage ended but make sure it doesn't happen again by not repeating past mistakes no matter who was at fault.\nPick Yourself up.\nStart attending events that interest you.\nSince you must be older , possibly look for senior activities even at large senior centers where you can go have dinner in the dining hall and talk with people your age if you don't have a strong friend network.
200225
If you are considering another relationship with her then maybe marriage counselling would be a first step.  If you can get through that then I might consider trying again but obviously there were serious issues that warranted the divorce to begin with.
1060629
I'm going through the same thing. Just think about how much happier they will be when they finally get a divorce. Nothing is your fault, and there isn't much you can do to help. I'm so sorry. It can be really hard to go through this. Find a friend that you can talk to. That helps the most out of everything.