my girl admitted cheatin on me for 2 yrs , is it true once a cheater always a cheater ? or can they change?
100997
It is quite possible that she really does regret her actions and will never do it again, especially since she told you.  But, having been in your situation before, I've found it extremely hard to "forgive and forget."  Both of you have to be really committed to make the relationship work after a major setback like that, but if she is truly sorry and you think you can trust her again, it should all work out.
810262
I reckon he has cheated, or at least he's trying to convince you that cheating is normal and happens more than you think. As one of the other answerers is hinting at, this guy is possibly a player. I'm not going to pass judgement on the chap and you have to allow for the possibility that this thought may just have occurred to him in the course of a conversation. If you question him and he says that that is what happened then give him the benefit of the doubt. (Something similar happened to me once, and my gf didn't take me at my word - very annoying, end of relationship)\n\nBut, to be honest, as a player, if I was asking a girl how she knows that her past lovers never cheated, it would be to sow the seeds of doubt in her mind for either of the following reasons: a) to convince a girl with a bf that he is cheating on her and so she should cheat on him with me (evil, I know - I've never done it, but I'd say it'd work); or b) to convince a girl I was seeing that cheating is normal, and happens all the time and people should be open about it: basically grooming her for an open relationship.\nI think the latter is most likely in your scenario. Find out a bit more about him and see if he has a little black book! Ask him what he thinks of open relationships. \nIf that wouldn't suit you then get the hell out as the cheating will hurt you, even if the sex is amazing.
112931
I could forgive but I wouldn't stay with someone who had cheated on me. A good relationship has to be based on trust and love. Without the strong foundation of trust, the relationship will crumble. After someone has cheated you would always have to wonder and worry. Each time they were late, or didn't call, or acted differently you would wonder if they were cheating again. You can't have a good, loving, trusting relationship under those circumstances. I would also strongly doubt their love for me if they cheated. If someone truly loves you, then they wouldn't want to cheat on you. In their mind there would be noone better than you and they wouldn't risk the relationship with you for something as superficial as sex with someone they aren't in love with.
194816
Time is the only way to really know someone.  Each of us have a different persona we portray in the early days of a relationship.  That doesn't necessarily mean a person is fake; it may be their lives just aren't an open book.  There are some things better left out until a relationship blossoms.  As far as trusting someone who has cheated on you not once, but twice????  The trust has been broken there, babe, and I don't recommend you giving it back.  Move on and find someone who values loyalty the same way you do.  Good Luck!
245948
Cheaters never change, NEVER.If it is not his ex it will be the next door girl or someone he picks up in a bar, try to forget about him and get someone who appreciates the love you give them.
956767
yes its quite true i think. everyone that i have talked to or have actually know to have been cheated on the same person has done it again after all the promises. they probably do love you but they cant help but try to see if they can still get the charm going to get someone else to. its hard to find someone that will be up front honest trusting and will never cheat. read tips on love and relationships to help you better on this site
792505
well you have to build a new history with her.  past behavior best predicts future behavior.  if she doesn't cheat on you for a month then she probably won't cheat on you next month.  anyway the point is take it one day at a time and i'm sure you can learn to trust her again.
904340
yea!but this is a real hard thing to decide because how does your gf or bf no that this will never happen again but it also depends on how long you 2 have been in relationship So it has to do with how much trust was in the relationnshp if you are the person who cheated you should not let your bf or gf find out from another person that only makes things worse so if you like/love this person as much as you think you do then you will have enough respect for them to come to them and tell them that you know you were wrong and you promise it wont happen again and long as you are faithful from that day on you are guaranteed a good relationship.
616296
The most smart thing 2 do would prolly b 2 leave em cuz dat sayn "once a cheater alwayz a cheater" but errebody iz diffrent...But wen u love sumbody it ain't as easy as errebody say...But if u love him & wanna give it anotha try id say go 4 it cuz errebody deserve A 2nd chance but don lisin 2 nebody follow ya heart gurl do watchu feel iz rite!
189971
She shouldn't have lied to you, but don't leave her over it. It's her past. She can't help what she's already done. It can't be changed.
214676
The lasting 'effects' of cheating are the possibilites of STDs, (lack of) respect and trust, and these represent HUGE barriers to most people who have to 'live' with the results of his/her cheating.  Very, very few innocent parties have the will, and the understanding of why they are willing to continue in such a relationship.  It takes real grace and forgiveness to move forward with them.  Sometimes this is the only reason why the other party will not do it again.  The overwhelming evidence on file, however, indicates that more than 50% will move on to another relationship, despite all of our efforts.  I lived 'in hope' for five years, and I never saw a complete repentance.  Instead of wondering, you have to prepare yourself for either possiblity, always holding out the hope that they will return to trust and respect...
252741
You need to call it quits.  This might not be the answer you're looking for but trust me it'll hurt later when she becomes unfaithful again.   Sure she kept the fling a secret from you but then she lied again and told you it was over but she's still e-mailing him.  Do you see a pattern here?  The best thing to do is break up. You can always get back with her again...
1081353
Bygones r bygones.\njust let thm go;let them not affect your present.U love her and u say she loves u more.How can she b cheating u whn u say, she confessed about the facts bfore she proposed to u. What really matters honey, is, did she cheat u after u guyz r together? It is difficult to forget the past but if u keep hangin with, it it will only spoil ur present.try to get out of it.U r hurtin urself and the ones who love u.
217250
depends....if she cheats on him with you, can you trust her in the future?
188166
It's not just women who do that, men do as well. There are NO guarantees that she won't cheat again. The question is, do you want to take that chance? I always say, if they cheat once they'll do it again.
1153134
Once a cheater always a cheater. If he loved you like he says then he would not cheat! End of story!
195121
well your answer lies on one thing where is she at now as well who else has she been with in this matter you feel for the oldest thing going that is being played for a stand in . i have been there did  it as well not worth it in my opion how do you think i caught my.ex. wife. she was cheating i had the sence to get rid of it. grow up like i did. nt worth it my friend she this woman you are talking about is a player if she was with you you might thing who else has she fooled with you dont want to end up in court over this woman she aint worth ita woman like that cant love she has something called a whoreing spree ?