Did jesus ever fart or burp? What do you think?
100124
well, considering those are normal bodily functions, and Jesus had a normal body, I would have to say yes.\nWhat i wanna know is, how did this even come up?\nyou have an interesting mind.
808640
In the Old Testament he was reactive.  That's cause the people brought that out in him.  In modern times he is not reactive, but neither is he proactive; he's taken a wait-and-see attitude.  Why do you ask?  Are you an atheist looking for an argument?
868303
Jesus is MY Homeboy!\nCheck this one out!\nhttp://www.whitedust.demon.co.uk/scabbydog/llcooljesus.jpg
946138
i was anorexic and bulimic, but Jesus delivered me from it...it was the scariest and lowest point in my life.....i dont think people realize the seriousness of it.....but i am spending my life helping other victims of the disorders.....Jesus loves you!
506149
OK Ms. Heron-O-Rific! (hey!  YOU are the one who wanted a funny name just like Trasky-poo and Schnebby-kins so you you got one <winks and giggles>)\n\nI think Matthew misinterpretted what Jesus actually said.  No one will ever know for certain either if Jesus said it because there is really no evidence to support that he even existed.\n\nBTW... that woman is stupid for going back to him.
900481
Young David came home from school one day and found his pet chicken laying on the ground with his legs pointing straight up into the sky. When his father got home, he explained that the chicken has died and his legs were pointed up to Jesus in heaven.\n\nThey buried the chicken and that was that. Two weeks later his dad came home from work and David ran up to him yelling, "Daddy, Daddy, we nearly lost Mommy today."\n\n"What?" his father replied.\n\n"When I got home from school, Mommy was laying on the bed with her legs pointing up in the air yelling, 'Jesus, I'm coming, Jesus I'm coming.' If it wasn't for Uncle Terry holding her down we would have lost her for sure!"
1126122
Where do you come up with this stuff?! You're hilarious! Does God scream, "Oh Me! Oh Me!"?
567659
Yes, Jesus really did die. There are historical accounts of people who died from being scourged, let alone being crucified. Finally, the spear that stabbed Jesus in the chest produced a flow of "blood and water" (Gospel of John). That wound, forensic scientists tells us today would be lethal in itself (the watery fluid indicates that it was near the heart or lung cavity). Roman soldiers were trained in the art of execution. They would know when the person had died. So, yes, he really was dead.\n\nJesus died and was raised to life. It was a physical resurrection. While his body still bore at least some of the marks from the Crucifixion (nails through the hands/wrist & pierced side), it is likely that they were \nin a "healed state". Jesus appeared to over 500 people after his resurrection, and the church grew rapidly soon after. \n\nThere are those who try to offer the "coma" or "swoon" theory. Aside from it being physically impossible given his wounds, he certainly would not have been an inspiring site in claiming to be resurrected! The disciples that Jesus appeared to were transformed from being "scared that they were next", to men that went out and boldly preached the message of his resurrection. Most suffered extremely painful/horrible deaths for their convictions. Christianity grew so rapidly that within 30 years it had reached Rome -- which contained hundreds of believers... extending even into Nero Caesar's household.
471325
I don't think I've ever farted before "doing the do". I cannot recall farting after "doing the do". However, I have  farted in the middle of "doing the do".  He went down on my, I knew I had to fart and thought I could hold it. That was not the case. As soon as I hit that big "O" I lost all control and BAM...farted right on his chin. I started laughing so hard and I had one of those laughing farts..you know the kind where your fart is the same rhythm as your laughter. He finished "doing the do" and I had the giggles the whole time. I farted one other time, but it was just a little pffft.
968487
Beacuse you are messing with deep seated beliefs indoctrinated into the masses over centuries. Trying to change the effects of brain washing is never easy!\n\nHowever, I believe Jesus DID exist and walk upon the Earth. The point is that he was a spiritually advanced prophet, preacher and healer. It was due to his "Miracles" that people elevated him to "Godly" status, he never claimed that for himself. (He stated he was the "Son of God"). That is where the difficulties arise.
1051062
Depends.  If it's a good satisfying fart that either sounds good, or gives you a feeling of pressure release, or clears the room, or makes everyone around you cry and vomit, then yes, God has blessed you.\n\nIf you poo a little at the same time, then He has cursed you.
513368
No, but I have farted while sneezing, from sheer force!  Very embarrassing!
908903
I fart like a goodun every day and it doesn't matter what i have eaten but how fast i have gobbled it up. If i eat something hot i seem to cool it down by breathing on it as i put it in my mouth and i take in more air. \nI can fart for England but i have never been able to burp, no matter how hard i try, sigh,\n\nCarry on farting!!!!! hooray for farts,
330001
Didn't you know that monks have special powers.  They don't even have to piss or crap.  They don't fart or anything.  I wish I had those powers.  The monks you're talking about, "the burping kind" are of a lower order, not really "monks"...more like "monk lites".\n\nBurping is rude?
1177688
It depends. I spoke to our Parish priest about that, (^_^) and he said that it was INSPIRED in the prophets who wrote it, so in reality it was not really what Jesus exactly says (or said).\n \n(^_^)
379392
I would ask Rev. trask, If someone farted in his church would he have to sit in his own pew?
461534
not really. This is more like an opinion not a fact. Your asking something that doesnt have a meaning to.\n\nIs it important to fart?.\n\nIs it important to urinate?.\n\nhmm how bout is it important to burp like your dog?. \n\nEveryone has their biased views. So if I was you.... dont even bother asking, It makes you look foolish and get a stupid answer in the end.