Tell me the best joke?
108947
I have two: I love the second one.\nJoke #1\nA blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender, "Wanna hear a blonde joke?"\n\nIn a hushed voice, the guy next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, you should know something."\n\nOur bartender IS blonde, the bouncer is blonde. I'm a 6' tall, 200 lb black belt. The guy sitting next to me is 6'2", weighs 225, and he's a rugby player. The fella to your right is 6'5" pushing 300 and he's a wrestler. Each one of US is blonde. Think about it, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?"\n\nThe blind guy says, "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."\n-----------\n Joke #2\nTwo women are new arrivals at the pearly gates and are\n comparing stories on how they died.\n\n 1st woman: I froze to death.\n\n 2nd woman: How horrible!\n\n 1st woman: It wasn't so bad. After I quit shaking from the\n cold, I began to get warm and sleepy, and finally died a\n peaceful death. What about you?\n\n 2nd woman: I died of a massive heart attack. I suspected\n that my husband was cheating, so I came home early to\n catch him in the act. But instead, I found him all by\n himself in the den watching TV.\n\n 1st woman: So what happened?\n\n 2nd woman: I was so sure there was another woman there\n somewhere that I started running all over the house\n looking. I ran up into the attic and searched, and down\n into the basement. Then I went through every closet and\n checked under all the beds. I kept this up until I had\n looked everywhere, and finally I became so exhausted that\n I just keeled over with a heart attack and died!\n\n 1st woman: Too bad you didn't look in the freezer. We'd\n both still be alive.
949951
Very nice one one, I loved it......I am rolling on the fllor right now. I just called up my brither and told him the same joke.
258497
go to funnyjunk.com, or jokes.com
614053
By far, best blonde joke I think I've ever heard.  (Tt is long, and I have used it before on Y!Answers.)\n\nCertain words have been changed to protect the censors.\n\nOkay so it's Dec. 24th and a postman is starting his walking route.  He comes to the the first house and opens the mailbox and there is a envelope inside that says "mailman" on it.  He opens it, it's a $10 bill with a note that says have a nice Christmas.  He proceeds to the next house and there is a card that says "mailman" which he opens to reveal $20.  He thinks to himself, "Wow, this is going to be a good day!"  He comes to the third house and there is a note: Mailman, knock on the door for your Christmas present.  He knocks and the door swings open to reveal a beautiful naked blonde woman.  She grabs him, pulls him inside and well... anyway, the censors are watching, but you get the Idea.\n\nAs he is putting his clothes back on the blonde woman disappears for a minute into the kitchen and brings back a tray with a huge breakfast on it.  Biscuits, gray, bacon, eggs, the works.  He's like WOW, thanks and proceeds to eat it.  \n\nHe glances at his watch and says, thank you, but I have to get going.  As he is moving to the door the blonde hands him a dollar and says Merry Christmas.  He's looks at the dollar and then at her and says no thanks, 'maam, you've done enough!  She says, oh no, you have to take it, it's my husbands idea.  The mailman pauses, "You husbands Idea?"  "Yeah," she says, "Last night I asked him if I should do anything for the mailman for Christmas and he said, 'screw him, give him a dollar,' breakfast was MY IDEA!"
707854
That's the best joke I've seen today, PERIOD!
892716
Here's one for you:\nThere's a trucker driving along the highway in Nevada, and he starts to get really horny. He then sees a sign for a Brothel (whore house) 10 miles away. He begins to get very excited when he spots a note at the bottom of the sign which says: "Beware of Sandpaper Sally." He thinks this is a bit wierd but keeps driving and gets hornier and hornier. He finally gets to the Brothel, throws money down on the table, and says: "I want a whore." to which a woman repeats: "Okay, but the only girl we have left is Sally." He decides to take the offer and runs up to the room he's told Sally is in. He opens the door and sees the prettiest blond he's ever seen in his life, throws her down on the bed and procedes to have his way with her when he notices that she is a bit rough and dry down there. He asks what's wrong with her and she gets up and goes to the bathroom. She comes back and they start again. He says that it feels great and asks what she did. To which she replies:"I picked the scabs." \n\nHere's another:\nTwo men are sitting at a bar, one turns to the other and says:"I f*cked your mom."\nThe bar goes silent as everyone looks at the two men to see what is going to happen.\nOnce again, the first man repeats:"I f*cked your mom."\nTo which the other man replies:"Shut up dad, you're drunk."
732058
dude youre the funniest guy tell somemore jokes plz that one waz funny as hell i'm still laughing
722206
once there was a guy named david. one day he asked a question. he asked whats the funniest joke ever? hehehehehhehe :)
816498
That's the best blonde joke I've heard in a while. LOL! Tell another.
695118
That's the best joke I've heard on this site in a LONG time!\n\nThanks for the laughs! Keep up the great work!!\n\n(Gotta remember this one for the folks at work!)
724790
hahahahahahahahahahaha\nhahahahahahahahahahaha\nhahahahahahahahahahaha\nhahahahahahahahahahaha\nhahahahahahahahahahaha\n\nVERY VERY NICE JOKE!!!
1135780
OK - have seen a lot of jokes on here.  THIS ONE MADE ME LAUGH.  Thanks........
124764
ooh! I almost missed this one =)\n\nOnce upon a time in Disneyland there was a Victoria's Secret model named Oscar Wilde. All night and all day her third cousin twice removed forced her to scrub the toilet. Then one day, she received a visit from the little old lady who lived it a shoe. The old lady says, "Hi! I am Papa Smurf and I am here to pump... you up. \nLost in an unbearable lightness of being, Oscar says to P. Smurf "how many licks *does* it take?", to which Papa replies, "They are the eggmen. I am the walrus. Goo goo g' joob!" \n\nSo then Oscar and Papa find a field of magic mushrooms and live happily ever after...or did they?
459430
*Two men walked into a bar and the other man ducked.\n\n*A duck walked into a pet store and asked the guy behind the counter "Hey! You got any duck food?"\n"No," the guy said, "now beat it."\nThe next day, the duck came back and said "Hey! You got any duck food?"\n"No," the guy said, "now beat it. And the next time I see you in here, I'm gonna nail your beak to the floor."\nThe next day, the duck came back and said "Hey! You got any nails?"\n"No," the guy said.\n"Good," said the duck, "you got any duck food?"\n\n*One day, a man died and went up to heaven. When he got to the pearly gates, St. Peter asked him "Did you do any good deeds in your life?"\n"Well," said the guy, "I rescued an old lady from a gang of robbers."\n"Hey, that's great!" St. Peter said, "when did you do that?"\n"Oh, about five minutes ago."\n\n*One day, three men were in a cave and they found a magic lamp. They rubbed it, and a genie came out and gave each of them one wish.\n"That's easy," the first guy said, "I'd like to be ten times smarter than I am right now!"\nPOOF! He was suddenly ten times smarter.\n"That's nothin'" the second guy said, "I'd like to be a HUNDRED times smarter than I am right now!"\nPOOF! He was suddenly a hundred times smarter.\n"Nah, I got all you guys beat," the third guy said, "I'd like to be a THOUSAND times smarter than I am right now!"\nPOOF! He turned into a woman.\n\nAnd the inevitable dumb blonde joke (NOTE TO ALL BLONDES: I DO NOT MEAN TO OFFEND. I AM MERELY REPEATING A JOKE I HEARD ONCE FROM A FRIEND OF MINE):\n\n*One day, a dumb blonde decided she was sick of all the dumb blonde jokes, so she decided to dye her hair brown and go for a long drive. She drove out to the countryside, where there were farms; one of these had sheep. She thought to herself "oh, how cute! I want a sheep!" So she went to the farmer and explained her request. \nThe farmer thought for a minute, then said "well, girly, tell you what. I'll let you have one of my sheep if you can guess how old I am."\nThe blonde thought about it for awhile, then finally said "66!"\n"By god, you're right!" The farmer said, astounded. He didn't really expect her to guess it, but since she did, he allowed her to pick out a sheep. So she picked one out and drove off, the sheep in the back. Suddenly, she saw the farmer behind her, chasing her car and waving frantically. She slowed down, and the farmer caught up to her and tapped on the window.\nShe rolled it down, and the farmer said "If I can guess what color your hair really is, then can I have my dog back?"
719788
For some Super Duper lame jokes -http://www.hevanet.com/benh/jokes.html\nhttp://www.cartalk.com/content/timekill/lamejokes/\n\nand for funny ones -\nhttp://www.coolquiz.com/humor/jokes/
796367
A great joke!\n\nIt made my night.\n\nI like the bible verse you quoted; Proverbs 17:22.\n\nI'll look again for future jokes.
877278
Thats the best joke i've heard so far keep on going.