Why would a reasonable attractive and intelligent person choose to have an affair with someone who's married?
116967
Maybe he could not stop he's feelings from loving someone married...maybe that girl is attractive enough for that guy
140233
Your dilemma is one that is all too common. You are probably right when you say that it is not ?just me.?  It takes two to make a marriage or break a   marriage, and it takes two to have an affair. The fact that he has always been ?a flirt? suggests that, at one time, he was that way with you. You probably responded in a way that made him feel special, wanted, and needed, and reinforced his flirting behavior. This ties in with the first and main reason why men have affairs: to feed  their ego. The problem with us males is that feeling good about ourselves, or meeting our ?ego needs,? is our primary goal in life. Therefore, the first reason why men get involved in affairs is that it feeds their egos. \n\nDon't worry your not alone nor the only one.   :)
1178346
I cant give you the reason for the person you may be talking about but,most people(male or female) will have an affair with someone if given the chance.It may have something to do with being selfish,self-centered,and they might have a low self-esteem,and Im guessing they dont have morals and values or a lack of.Some may just have a lack of commitment.Anyway,I for one cant figure out why someone would waste someone elses time by pretending to be someone they arent by acting like they Love or care for someone.....Its sad....... Best Wishes
578773
usually its because they need a change to the same routine, maybe they are second guessing their relationship,maybe they can get what they need from the person their cheating with, maybe its blackmail, or greed or lustor,maybe theyre still in love with their ex partner(if its an ex they slept with), maybe they got into deep into a relationship they cant get out of , maybe they dont love their spouse , maybe its low self esteem , \n\nwho knows there are many different reasons and no one reason is right or wrong, and it has nothing to do with anything except the struggle that is going on inside that person that does it, dont bother to ask why people do it,  just dont do it yourself, and walk away if it happens to you.
354541
You need to make a choice then if you are willing to give up everything you have in your life for a possible relationship with this other person with who there are no guarantees.  A lot of married people get crushes on other people, the key is not to act on them and throw away what you have.  Sit down and decide what you want in life and what price you are willing to pay.  If it is this other person then you need to get a divorce and pursue that relationship after the divorce.
1100883
because they arent really in love.\nIf they actually loved the woman they were with and she fulfilled him he wouldnt cheat.
247279
Well, there are a couple of reasons I can think of. First, maybe he doesn't feel his wife is treating him well (emotionally or sexually) and what better way to improve the way she treats him that to invoke that monster of jealousy...that usually makes women go overboard with sex and niceties in order to keep her man from straying. The second reason may be that he simply wants to be honest with her...doesn't want her to find out from someone else.
381759
you are constant flattery for him.  who wouldn't want the amazing, sexy, beautiful, married to someone else, girl i had a past relationship with, still thinks i'm the coolest guy, around?\n\nis adultery ever OK?  well i guess it depends on who you ask.  there are a lot of married people who are of the philosophy "i have the boy parts, you have the girl parts.....so what was the problem again?"  is this a right or wrong philosophy, not for me to decide.\n\ni think the most important thing in any relationship is that everyone knows what is going on.  adultery doesn't kill a relationship, its sneaking around and lying to a spouse.  no one wants to play the fool.
92179
Yes, if not a physical affair, then an emotional one.  When a married man is sharing his time w/a single woman, he is sharing intimacies with her that should be reserved for his wife.
1090312
I don't believe in cheating on people either. I think people do it because they want the excitement of the beginning of a relationship where sometimes both people are on their best behavior, etc. or maybe they like the "conquest". Anyway neither reasons are very good because the next relationship will be the same eventually. I think some people aren't mature enough to realize that  they could just put their love and affection in the present relationship and it would be just as exciting. If a person lived by "do unto other as you would have done to you" they would not cheat.
504910
Because they wanted to make the most of their new lovers and enjoy every bit of the moment they share!\n\nWhat is the importance of their cheating if they don't enjoy and make the most of it?
250889
NO! I don't think there is any excuse for cheating on your spouse emotionally or physically. If you feel the need to be with someone else then you should leave the person you are with first. What if you get an std and give it to your partner because of your own stupidity? or what if you get someone pregnant or get pregnant? When a person cheats on someone they obviously don't love  and respect that person enough in the first place. being drunk or high isn't even a good enough reason..... your judgment may be impaired but you are aware of what you are doing when you do it even if you don't remember the next day. If you are married and have children then i believe you should loose all rights to your family because you choose a night of selfish disrepect over them. If you have an honest and open relationship then there should be no need to look elsewhere in the first place. The only one responsible for cheating is the cheater.... to think that because someone isn't giving you what you feel you need or is ignoring your desires gives justification to the matter is just ignorance.
125267
Some times because they weren't in 'love' when they married. \n  But 'most' of the time I think, they both let the closeness slip away, and though they still love the person they married, there's no excitement there. So they meet someone else that's exciting and fun, and ruin what they could've saved, if they'd BOTH tried.
1113882
I think it's possible that he was, and if he was then so what, he had a right to be happy with someone he cared about. I don't think it should offend anyone to hear that might have been married.
134131
Many girls would date a married guy, if he is rich, or if he has a splendid personality or if he is not happy about his marriage and he is planning a divorce, or if she is a playful type.
188844
i will choose the intellectually stimulating person. he may not be that handsome like richard gere or tom cruise, but he has the knowledge and wisdom that will make him look more handsome than those people i mentioned.\n\nalso, he may not be sexually desirable guy, since he  is intelligent enough, he can be taught on how to be sexually desirable guy. anyhow, being sexually desirable is not a talent, it is earned thru experiences. and i will teach him more experiences than can make him more desirable in sex, and i am lucky because it will be for me only.
600467
It could work, but it is difficult.  Both parties must be COMPLETELY honest with each other, and in most marriages that isn't the case.  Usually one side wants an open marriage to cover up the fact that they are having an affair.  They are just trying to legitimize their bad behavior.  So don't try it unless you trust the other party 110%, as it won't work.