Why is it so hard to get over the hurt from your parents in childhood?
108595
Just know that you are special and it is not your fault what they said or did. Know that God is with you and always has been, and focus on just being the best person that you can be. Be successful, and be greatful for life, also know that your parents probably didn't know any better, and forgive them, to make yourself be even better. Know that you overcame that, and can think about it and rationalize it, and get past it, knowing you are a really good person inside, who wants a good happy life. \n\nAnd when it does feel like it hurts realy bad, just thank God that he was there to help you through it and for the ability to now think positively and rationalize why you are such a good person who deserves so much. And know that you will be happy in the future and will make a positive difference in making people feel good, especially when you ever have kids, so that you can be everything to them that you never had.\nBasically:\nJust have HOPE and keep FAITH.
979852
There  are some among us that have had the pain of losing a child, may it never happen to you. That is more suffering than anyone should have to endure but to have to watch them tortured first.. That goes way beyond what any parent should have to deal with...   Jim
860492
its a very common occurrence and very simple one too.......\nyou remember your childhood because you want to because it is full of events you want to keep in mind but now it seems you are stressed.do meditation and yoga that would definitely help.
737576
Yes, when I was young, it hurts a lot to see your folks hurting each other. Hope things get better for you.\n\nDo you have any one you trust who might be able to help?\nAre you part of a youth group? If you aren't maybe you can find a youth group to go to. Most youth pastors are good to talk problems over with.\n\nOr maybe a councilor at school can offer some suggestions.
815874
I was neglected as a child, abused as an adult. The only way I got over these conflicts in my life was by FORGIVENESS. That may seem strange to you, but your anger towards people are only holding them to you. They don't suffer for what they've done, but you have placed on yourself MORE suffering by not forgiving them. \n\nWrite them a letter, tell them how you feel, rip it up and burn it...don't send it to them. Forgive them in your heart, it will free you to go on with your life without them. Don't confront them, they will deny it and make your anger worse.\n\nThey abused you, now you are abusing yourself. Let it go. (and if you are religious, pray and give them and your anger towards them to God to handle, He will!)
449178
I lost my father 5 years ago and there is never a single day that I do not think about him.\nAt first I was devasted and wondering how I would get over it.\nThen someone who had been through the same experience gave me these simple words of wisdom: "You never get over it. You just get used to it".\nNow I can talk about my dad and nrelate funny or special moments we shared when I was growing up, and it doesn't bother me. In fact, it is quite therapeutic.\nI feel for you and KNOW that things will get easier.Good luck. Kevin UK.
423536
Oh, sweetheart, I am so sorry. I can relate to you in two ways. My situation is the opposite. I grew up with my father and did not see my mother from age 6 to age 20. The second thing we have on common is that my father also died recently. He committed suicide because he was sick and depressed. It's gonna take a lot of time. I don't have kids, and it bothers me that when I do he'll never meet them. \n\nHere's what I do to cope...\n\nI play the Moonlight Sonata on the piano because he loved to listen to me play that. I burned a CD of songs that remind me of him. When I listen to them, I can hear him singing them and see him smiling. I burned another CD of songs that express how I feel about his death, which helps to get it all out. I write letters to him, and that gets it all out, too. I allow myself to be angry - it's hard to be angry with someone you love. I try not to beat myself up with what I could have done differently and all the things I never said. I know he knew how much I loved him without my having to say it. My faith in God helps, because I think of what the word eternity means, and when I do, I see that 70 years on this earth is just nothing, really. I don't blame God - I try not to blame at all, which is not easy to do. \n\nAnother good thing to know about is the grieving process. There is shock/denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Since they are always written in that order, I thought that you go through one, then you're done with it and you go through the next. That's simply not true. You can be crying, then in a rage, then wake up the next day not believing what has happened. Knowing, but not believing. I find it hard to talk to people because I feel like it makes them uncomfortable. I also feel like it's old news to my friends, and that makes it hard to just bring it up again. But I do try to monitor myself and take good care of myself. If I'm in denial, I remind myself that denial only puts off dealing with it and makes it a longer process. If I am feeling guilty, I remind myself that it's not my fault and that my father would not want me to think it was. If I see that I am isolating myself, I call a friend and go out. \n\nI know that my situation is different, because you hardly knew your father, but I am sure that you loved him, and that he loved you. The one thing that gives me the most comfort is knowing that love is not killed, buried, or cremated. Love never leaves. Know that your father is very much alive in you, and so is his love. Give yourself time and be patient with yourself. If you want to talk more, email me.
146176
I really don't think something like that can be forgiven easily, your mother put herself before you and your sister and when something like that happens you you cant help but fear for your own kids.  Lots of people talk about unconditional love but I think there is exceptions and this is one of those.
190358
well its not easy\nu just need to clear out how u feel\nand thrs no use of fighting over past\ntell thm to live in the present and as parents thy have some duty towards u\nso thy shld take care abt ur happiness  rather thn fighting over petty issues\nthey have no right to destroy their child's life\nask thm to give u peace rather thn mental torture
113849
becoz if we showed to you and told you that it`s hard then you will think that is too harder than you think right now so people tell you that its ok you will get over it oon and you will 4 get....it`s true but it needs time .... we will be hurt coz it`s normal to be like that but you will not feel hurt to the rest of your life ...so try to forget and think about so thing els ...do things make you 4 get...that`s what I can tell you ...so Good luck with it....
969534
Know that as time passes by the pain will lesson. You always feel the void and nothing will fill its place but the pain is lessened with time. Allow grief to be. Allow memories to flow. Remembering can hurt but also help you heal. Talking about your parent will hurt also but will help you to keep their memory vivid. Don,t fear your emotions but know that they are normal. Keep yourself busy because when its somethings that's hurting you too much thinking time can be harmful. Remember that you are not alone in this emotion.
516167
my dad's inability to let go of the past.  He is still hurting over my parents's divorce of 18 years ago.  I still think about the girl that broke my heart back in HS.
425974
mmm nope not all of us.  I feel a huge loss but I am not ashamed of their actions.  They made it not me.  I am who I am and I was not ment to be raised by my biological parents or I would have been.  The all mighty had other things in mind for me.  If anything I feel sorry for them,  because in the back of their mind will always be the guilt of knowing what they did.  \nI wish I could know more about them.  Especially if I have siblings who may like your girlfriend need a family connection.  I am blessed to be strong in myself.  But there will always be questions.  Like why in the world my kids are lighter than me, when their father is darker than me.  I know my mom was real light and my dad was dark from non-ident info.  There will always be a greaving for that sense of belonging but I don't feel any guilt.
1140547
I think so. I have such a hard time forgiving myself. I still think of things that I did or said as a little kid. And yet I can forgive whoever of whatever and almost instantly forget about it.
1082002
I date my life to everything that occurred before and after my Dad's passing.  His passing took a major toll on me, and changed me from a reasonably happy person to one who held her grief in, and became an angry and bitter person in the process.  Hard as I try I can't seem to bring back the old me, who used to love to sing along with the radio in the car, or devote herself to her family, without sometimes resenting them, because they demand so much of her time.  I know I could have been a lot better mother than I have been to my children.  I want that for my children, so I wish I could go back to that moment in my life, and find the time and strength to grieve, instead of running from the pain that I have been hiding in my heart for so many years.
169150
Don't worry, tell your parents that their constant fighting is hurting you not just emotionally, but physically.  They should understand.  Get all the help you can get from anyone that cares about you.  You don't deserve to be hurt this way.  Good luck! =)
102868
Because they had very bad memories of their early childhood. Their mind is blocking them from remembering from their early childhood.