I lost my mind when my lover cheat me.How can I overcome this?.?
99590
It is too late for the current relationship.  The best you can hope for is to examine yourself to see why you thought you were in a mutually exclusive relationship and your partner did not.\nWas it accepting a lie?  (You know I only have feelings for you?)  Was it assuming that you would not so you partner would not either?  Were you too young to know what you were getting into?  Too idealistic?  Were you too desperate and accepted the first one to come along who showed any interest?\nTry not to feel like a victim or you may be dooming yourself for the rest of your life.  It takes two to form a lasting relationship, but only one to break it.  Make sure you are willing to communicate honestly and openly.  Even if you ex-lover is an poor excuse for a human, you can get beyond this experience.
363555
Have you talked to him about it?Well just try to get your mind off of him.Hind things or throw things away that might bring back memories of you and him.Talk to other people because if he loves you he'll come back....
151427
you may never be able to forget love( if it is real love) bt you can get over it, try things to get your focus of the matter ,like going to gym more, hanging out with girlfriends and so on.... and maybe try going out with someone else, you might find a new love to replace it.
1170862
Now, this is my favorite one: 'Let him go, if he comes back, he is yours, if he does'nt, he never was' \nI believe in this, because it happened to me. \nI am guessing he cheated on you, or something.. and now you have trust issues. \nHappens!!\nDont wait for him to screw up, it wont work. I know, because I waited for my gf to screw up after she cheated and we got back.\nYou will only end up screwing your thought process!!\nWhat you are doing right this time to you are a lot mature and hopefully going slow. Which is good. \nLove him for what he is to you and for what he will be for you tomorrow. Dont resuscitate the past. \nI strongly feel you are going to make it. Just take it one day at a time, discussing your future and stuff is good and sounds ideal, but if you have had trust issues, I would not recommend you make long term plans.\nWhat say??\nCheers!!
283531
first . . . your question didn't make sense . . . and if I get the gist . . . he cheated on you with her . . . \n\nSecond . . . you are to emotional . . . . calm down and relax and don't do anything stupid.\n\nThird . . . . dump him after you calm down
813544
How do you learn to trust again?\n\nThe easy but true answer is the Nike Response:  "Just Do It."\n\nRemind yourself that your current partner is not the one who wronged you, and your current partner shouldn't pay for your ex's betrayal.\n\nOwn your feelings and actions.  You CAN help jumping to conclusions.  You steer your life; your life doesn't steer you.\n\nYou have to relive your past as long as you decide that's what you want to do.\n\nDecide to be happy instead.\n\nGood luck and best wishes with your new relationship!
872991
My best advice is to keep talking to your husband.  Focus on your feelings, but try not to be too harsh with him - too judgmental or controlling.  It doesn't work in the long run.  And while he's gone, it's going to be difficult to rebuild trust - counseling is necessary - there are a lot of steps to go through which probably can't be done while he's deployed.    \n\nBut, in the meantime, it's important that you feel understood.  If you have to, tell your husband that talking about it is part of the healing process, and that you'll probably bring the issue up more often than he likes.  And if he wants to help, the best thing he can do right now is listen and acknowledge your feelings.  \nAnd it doesn't hurt to read as much as you can about recovering from infidelity.  A good starting place is http://cheatingandinfidelity.com/\n\nHope this helps.
552331
Maybe you reflect on what you had knowing you have not got it now.\nAsk yourself is you relationship the same with the man you have now as it was with the one you had.\nAnd maybe you should try to search within, to find out what you can to spice it up a\nbit ; )\nLove & Blessings \nMilly
788470
Tippy, the only way you are going to be able to deal with this is to forget it.  When you start remembering, stop.  Imagine something brings a smile to your face.  It's not wrong to stay with a man that you love, even if he's cheated.  But honey, it's your mental health that is taking the punishment.  You are going to have to forgive and forget to make it.  It's not easy and it's not going to happen over night.  I am sorry, your heart breaking is got to stop before it completly breaks.  \n\nDoes your husband help you?  What I mean has he ask for forgiveness?  Does he show you emotional support?  Honey, you need for him to help you with this.  Believe it or not, you need him to help heal from this wound.  He needs to be more loving, and shows that he cares that he hurt you.  If he's just blowing it off, like it happen-get over it-then you may never be able to fully forgive him and stop the tears.  He's the kleenex, he's the one that needs to wipe them away with his love.  \n\nHoney, you must remove the images, clean out all the thoughts of them together.  You are grieving in a sense, you have been betrayed, and it's like part of you has died.  It hurts, and it's so hard, but it can be done.  If you want to save your marriage, you are going to have too!  Your husband may have be so wrong, but now it's your turn to make sure you don't make it worse.  If you feel the tears coming on-focus on something else. Anything, but that.  When you start, or catch yourself thinking remember this...it's in the past and today's a new day, each day it will get less and less.  Your husband has got to do his part sweetie.  You can't make a marriage by yourself,  No matter how much you love him, unless you are going to be a silent wife, and just let him do what he wants when he wants.  You deserve so much more than that.  You deserve to be loved and respected, it's your choice your decision rather to forgive, and if this is what you want to do, you must not dwell on it any longer.  Kick yourself in the butt, if you have too.  I am so very sorry, no one should have their heart broken like this, but you aren't alone, and many marriages have become stronger from living thru what you are going through right now.  So, please dry those tears, take a deep breath, and remember it's all your choice how you deal with it.\nPraying that your heart mends, and the memories are forgotten, and that you have the strength to know you are worth true love and respect from the one you GAVE your heart to.  \n\nGod bless us all............
350706
I know how you feel. My ex-wife was cheating on me with one of my best friends. We also got divorced, and it was really rough for me for the first year or so. Every part of my life changed, all the routines changed, had to get used to being alone. There is no easy fix when your betrayed by someone you love and trust. Seems like everything you believed in was a lie. It helped me to lean on my family for support. It was hard at first because I felt ashamed, but believe me, you don't want to go it alone. Turn to your friends and family for help. Keep your mind busy, take a night class or something. It helps. Why did he do it? She told him what he wanted to hear. Maybe he thought he wouldn't get caught. Don't get caught up in the why and how, it will only make it worse. Don't get down on yourself, or blame yourself. He chose to do what he did, knowing that he was married. You didn't force him to do it, and you couldn't have done anything differently to prevent him from doing it. You are still a worthwhile human being, and you still have your life ahead of you. As time goes by, it will get easier. You might even realize one day, that your life is better now than it was then. Keep your head up, and good luck.
500330
The truth is you can never trust him again, he has cheated on you and there is no easy way to forget that even though you think that you still love him, trust me you are so much better off without him.\n\nI know that you say that you have tried to get on with your life and I know that you think the pain is never going to end, but you need to stick at it, keep on going, do anything you can to forget about him.  It will take time for these feelings to go but if you stick at it they will go, trust me.\n\nGood luck, whatever you decide to do
467754
Whatever you do, don't jump in the sack with someone else to try to get over someone else, I've slept with another woman to forget someone that I had broken up with before and I can tell you, it doesn't work. You feel like dirt the next day and you'll find yourself eventually wanting to get rid of the new person your with because (s)he's is the one you hooked up with to forget the prior person you were with. Also, heavy drinking doesn't help either. Trust me.\n\nGive yourself a few weeks or months to figure out what you saw in him that attracted you to him and then figure out whether they were valid reasons to become romantically involved. Did he have a cute bod and a crappy personality? Always remember, looks fade but stupid is forever. Or as recall, John Lennon once said: there's no way you can hide when your cripple inside.
492527
Go on with your life as if nothing were the matter.\n\nThis is really hard -- be courteous and pleasant and non-judgmental with your former lover.\n\nAs soon as you can, open your eyes to new opportunities and find a new love.
1175968
i have had a similar experience. You need to understand that everybody makes mistakes. What really matters is if they learn from their mistakes. If you think that he knew he was wrong and he loves you unconditionally now then you need to forgive him and stop thinking about what happened. If you keep putting him down, chances are he will feel desperate and lonely and will do the same thing again. If you don't want him to do the same thing again then stop punishing him. If he is really sorry for what he did then forgive him and forget the past. You can't build future living in past. Forget it and try building your future with him... =)
813539
Wby,\n\nHonestly, you never really get over it - but you do learn how to cope in life and defend yourself so it never happens again.\n\nOne day, I hope when you are older and more mature, you will find someone to build your lives together with. Not just a lover, but a best friend. Someone you can really trust. That is the best way to get over it.\n\nPlease do not hold this stuff in. If you have parents you cannot talk to, find yourself a guidance counselor you can trust, a priest, an adult -- and don't hold back. Because of your age - both can be prosecuted. YOU have done nothing wrong. YOU are never to blame yourself for the actions of these men. YOU are a child who has been thrown into a very difficult position in life - PLEASE find someone you can talk to comfortably to help you adjust and continue to live.\n\nGood luck to you.
592243
Since you denied it for so long, you've established a pattern of lying on top of the cheating.  So, it probably won't matter how you tell him; he may feel too angry and used to give you another chance.\n\nJust try to communicate how foolish you were and how much you regret it and that you understand how this must make him feel.  Explain that you realize that he may not want to give you another chance, but you care about him too much to continue the deception.\n\nAnd BEG, BEG, BEG for his forgiveness.\n\nI sense that you truly realize and regret the mistake you made.  I'm sorry that it may cost you a relationship that you came to value a little too late.  Hopefully, you won't make either of those mistakes again (cheating, lying about it.)\n\nGood luck.
228749
Leave him.  I'm normally not into giving flat-out answers, but this time I will.  The relationship is clearly toast.  If he can't get over it, then your cheating basically ended the relationship, and once the trust is gone, the relationship is gone.  That's one of the few laws of relationships- no trust, no dice.  Just let it go, start over, and don't mess up next time around.