what leads to spousal abuse?
104541
losing yourslef in a relationship \nseeing violence in your childhoood  \nlow self esteem\ninability to deal with anger and stress.
158149
Here are some websites that should help you.  The issue is a very complex one, and a serious problem in our society.  Battered women often believe that the violence is their fault.  \n\nThere are many perspectives on the issue.  Battered wife syndrome has been effectively used as a defence in murder cases leading to reduced sentences.\n\nYOu really need to do some reading to get the whole picture.  I have attached several websites that should help you.
383890
I am truly sorry there is no easy answer for this.  As difficult as it may sound,  ask your soon to be ex for help or to end the divorce quickly.  As long as you are still married lenders still consider debts to be jointly held.  Your pending divorce will scare them.  If nothing else,  get away form the jerk you are with.  I know from experince that abuse, even if only witnessed, is more devestating to children than poverty.
436381
I think its mostly genetic, but high stress can cause a series of other mental disorders. I am sorry your ex husband has been mistreating you, I hope you find someone who can protect you from him.
542443
NO ONE SHOULD BE ABUSED IN ANY SHAPE FROM OR FASHION, VERBAL ABUSE IS JUST AS BAD AS PHYSICAL ABUSE. YOU SHOULD NEVER THINK OF KILLING YOURSELF TO GET OUT OF A WASTELESS MARRIAGE. THEN ON TOP OF THAT YOUR DAUGHTER DOESN'T NEED TO STAND THERE AND SEE ANY OF THIS. WHAT PEOPLE FAIL TO REALIZE IS THAT CHILDREN FOLLOW WHAT THEY SEE. YOUR DAUGHTER DOESN'T NEED TO THINK THAT THIS IS OK, YOU DON'T WANT HER LETTING A GUY OR ANYONE AT THAT TREATING HER THAT WAY. I KNOW THAT EVERYONE THINKS THAT IT IS EASIER SAID THAN DONE, BUT EIGHT YRS OF ABUSE IS ENOUGH. LEAVE HIM, MOVE OUT, AND FILE FOR DIVORCE
121915
I am sorry to hear that. The same thing happened to me a long with physical and mental abuse. \n\nI sought counseling and I am well again. Not everyone is bad and not eveyrone will treat you like crap. \n\nHave you explained the situation to your partner?\nthat helps as well , believe me.
79529
what were the actions that lead up the the abuse? Were you having problems for awhile. Remember when you are fighting and hurt you will say things that you dont mean in the heat of the moment...........
994567
My husband and I have been married for a year and have been together for 5 years.  The first year was fine...2 months after we started dating I moved to Texas with my parents...9 months later I moved back to where he was and we moved in together I'd say about 6 months later is when it started.  He would get really angry because I was complaining too much about his job or that he wouldn't do the dishes when I asked and he would throw chairs...at the time we had those little plastic picnic chairs...and clothes at me or near me.  He would yell and scream at me and get right up in my face.  I don't remember him ever laying a hand on me during that time though.  About a year or two later we ended up breaking up mostly because we needed to be our own people for a while considering I was 17 when we moved in together and he was 20.  We were apart for about 2 months then we got back together and I moved in with him and his roommate at the time.  About a month or so later we got our own place and soon after that is when the major abuse started.  I never chalked it up as abuse though until I was watching some show and realized that my boyfriend was abusing me.  When he would get really mad at me he would grab my neck and pin me to the wall or throw me to the couch or the bed or where ever we were.  He has only slapped me twice and I've gotten a few bruises on my neck.  After I realized it was abuse I started to fight back and when he would grab my neck I would kick at him and push him away...I only did that a couple times because it made him even more angry.  We did end up getting married about 6 months after we got back together.  A lot of the abuse happened soon after we got married.  I only remember actually losing my breath and struggling to breath once...and that was a couple of months ago when we were in a car and arguing about he wanted to change his oil in front of an auto parts store but there was a guy outside that when my husband was in the store kept walking past the car looking at me in a weird way so when my husband came back to the car I told him I wanted to leave and told him the reason and so he got all upset and acted like a total baby and so on the way home I told him that him being my husband should want to protect me and want me to feel safe and whatever and I guess I said something wrong and he reached over and grabbed my neck and didn't let go right away like he normally did.  We got home soon after that and I went in and started to pack my things to leave and he came in and threw me on the bed and told me I wasn't leaving so I decided to leave my things and just leave and he just kept stopping me grabbing my wrists and he pushed me and I fell over a foot rest and hit my head.  I don't remember why I didn't leave.  but since then we have gone to a counselor I think two times...but now he works so much that we argue on the phone.  He never did this when he was drinking...we don't drink very much.  I don't know how he could do this to me either...he always said it was because I knew what made him mad but I still did it.  I have changed because of this...I don't say as much anymore and I pick and choose my words...I can't say I am afraid of him though.  I still say what I want when I'm really angry.  I know hes more afraid of my step dad than I am afraid of him though.  It use to happen at least once a week to twice a month.  We don't have kids...we have animals...whenever he kicks the dog I kick him...so see I'm not that afraid of him...I am for a couple weeks after the events happen though but normally I'm not.  He is intimidating though because hes a foot and a half taller than me.
274222
It's been my personal experience that some men feel powerful and in total control if they are abusive to women.  I had an abusive husband and my girlfriend was killed by her husband.  I came close to death many times.  Even verbal abuse is degrading to women.  \n\nOnce a man has tasted blood, he is always abusive.  It's a turn on to them.  There are some real sicko's out there.....)(
991996
spousal privelege...although that may be a criminal court thing, i would certainly check in to it because in most cases a wife can't be made to testify against her husband.
370780
He may not be slapping or punching you, but forcefully grabbing you is physical abuse. If he is verbally, emotionally and mentally, sexually you need to examine whether or not you want to stay married to him. It doesn't sound like he respects you or your wishes. If he did he wouldn't be forcing kisses and hugs on you when you need some space to sort out your feelings. Only you can know when you've had enough and are ready to leave. What you are describing is abuse. You may not want to see that, but I heard your story from hundreds of other women in the 11 years I worked for a domestic violence program. I'm sorry if it upsets you to hear it, but I hate to see any woman treated this way.
524551
It seems when things get tense we always imagine the worst will happen to our marriage.  It doesn't have to just because someone else did it.  We can always get past a tough point.  Maybe you just need more time together.
1128402
Oh man, this one is tough!  I have told numerous women to get out of their homes, like right now, in situations like this.  I want to go and kick their heads in for what they do to their wives/girlfriends.  They need to go to jail and they need to be sentenced for each case of abuse and have the prison time set up so it doesn't run concurrent.  These guys need to be in there for a long time.  I would also like to have the prison population know what they are in for too.   I also like the idea of giving the wife free reign on the jerk before they send him away.  Abuse like that or raping your spouse needs some harsh penalties.  I hate them...they are bound to kill someone.  Every 3 minutes in America, a woman is killed by their partner.  I heard this on the news last week.  It is staggering and scary.  These women need to get out and seek help before it is too late.  Good question!
1001316
Where ever you go there is good and bad people. My experience with people from morocco was and is great. I believe that there is nothing you can do. But I also believe that it is a federal crime to abuse someone. You should try to push it a little bit further. you may be able to get rid of him if he is as you said a women's abuser.\ngood luck
710315
tell her to call Social Services wherever she lives or go to the nearest police station. They will direct her. You cannot help her---what if her abusive husband comes after you! This calls for professional help. But you are nice to want to help!
642417
i completely understand where you are coming from . i have a sister in an abusive marriage and this is her second one. i have given her advice and tried to help her. if they want help they will take it or do something about it. my dad has tried. they fight and they next day they are back together lovey dovey. you just have to let them work their own problems out if they dont want the help.
479641
bein abused by ur husband is...i think the most demeanin, and the lowest thing a man could possibly do. Physical abuse equals mental abuse, and its a situation where the women feels helpless...her spirits are low...her confidence is diminished. SO, im pretty sure ur going thru this with ur husband. And i would totally understand why u would fall in love with another man, especially if that man gives u the respect, the affection, the love that you deserve and that ur husband, for some reason, is not providing. You needed some one to vent to and remember\n\nIf ur husband wasn't treatin u like $#!T u wouldn't need that other man to vent and talk to...so basically ur husband was askin for it