My wife of 15 years (we have 4 kids) always treat my mum, sisters badly. Mum told  to leave her. What do I do?
116053
mostly in-laws are hard to get along with each other.  some reasons are both sides are so insecure with each other.  u are in the center.  dont take her side or your family side be in the middle.  did u ever talk to your mom if she knows any reason why your wife is treating them like that?  u can talk to your wife and tell her that your family is not comfortable that the way she treats them.  but dont be sound like you are taking your family side.  she might freak out and start an argument.  its really hard if your family get invloved with your marriage.  sometimes u feel like u need to choose between them.  but i'm pretty sure u both love your family and your wife.  u dont want to hurt any of them.  u have to talk to them.  u dont have to leave your wife u just need to talk to her about that problem.
384658
okay... i understand where you are coming from and good on you for saying something to your mum. JUST remember that mothers want what is best for their kids..and saying that i can tell you that you mum is prolly wanting the married life for you with a guy and one day have kids but you are on a different level that she does not understand. I think at this point in time you need to sit down and explain to your mum that you are a adult and she cant go on making decisions for you the rest of your life. You are in love and for that matter she should be happy that you have someone to love you in return! That is not to say that you wont have kids or wont do things in life that she thinks you can do with a guy. Also if you really really love this girl i would not take her home to be blamed from your mother on " YOU MADE MY DAUGHTER LIKE THIS" been there done that... you dont want to make your girl feel like your family will never come to terms with her being in YOUR life! As long as it takes to break that ice with your mum keep working at it, but dont bring your girl in the middle of it and you live to regret it because you mum might say some nasty things that will end up hurting the one you love. I hope this works out and if you ever want to chat about anything please drop me a line!
1156768
i know how you feel. i have some problems with my family also... i was fourteen when my parents sent me out from china to belize. my mom had my little brother when i was ten, and i couldn't accept the fact right away, and she usually scold me for everything. \nat the point of time, since they are coming and visit you, you should just act normal, and once you have a chance you call up your sister to a place where you guys can speak alone, and you need to tell her how much you are sorry about the past, and your feeling towards your whole family, and that no one can change what had happened, not even god. you need to tell her that you love her and that you are sisters, no matter what you will always be her sister and that no one can change it. people live people dies, and that you are sorry that your dad died, but nobody would want that to happened. you were just simply in love with someone that the family didn't wanted to accept and tell her that life is short, if she will continuing mad at you, then you couldn't do nothing more better to let her forgive you. Just remember don't yell at her or cry...\n\nwell, good luck, is just a suggestion that i am giving...\n\ngood luck again.
799513
When she's 18, kick her out.  You're feeding her, clothing her, supporting her, she eats from your table and sleeps in a bed you bought.  And she says F you?\n\nThere is no justification.  No one, not your wife, not your daughter, no one has the right to degrade you like that.  Tell your daughter, and kick her out at 18.  \n\nShe wants to be an adult?  Time to live it.\n\nBut you need to take some responsibility too.  She didn't just start acting this way.  You fostered this.  You let her get away with crap when she was 12 because you didn't want to be the bad guy.  This is the result.  So kick her out, but let her know it was your bad.
662390
well. I'm usually hard on my little sisters. It's because I want the best for them. I want them to do better than they think they can. I don't know what your situation is, but your best option is to talk to her about it. If she's older, she'll comply. Tell her that you'd like to have a civil and professional conversation at the dinner table with her. You may want to have your parents there just as witnesses. Nothing more.\n\nTalk to her, and find out why she is being so mean, and find a mutual solution.
978121
Looks like your trying to do what you can to make it work.  A relationship cannot work if only one person is trying.  Why don't you address her with your issues.  Tell her how you feel and what you want.  All the things that you put into the relationship your not getting out.  Communication is really the best thing you can do at this point.  Understand where you both are coming from.  You have to stand your ground.  If she still does not understand your concerns and thoughts let her know, it's either marriage counciling (or working things out on your own), or your gone.\n\nWell, I know leaving is very hard.  Just try to make it work.  If you love her and your kids, then staying with nothing changing can still be very heartbreaking.  Even if your at the bad end of this situation maybe take her to dinner for just the two of you and talk to her about it.  If you push it in her face with frustration she will push back with an "well I don't care" attitude.
1160703
She hasn't grown up yet, and you have.   If you can handle her, then stick to your plan, save your money and get out of there.  \n\nShe isn't going to change.  She will always want her husband to put her and her family first.  You are getting in the way of that just by being around.   \n\nDon't stop helping and paying for your part of things, this will help you to be able to walk away later not feeling like you owe her anything.   \n\nIf you can, plan to be out of the house or sleeping as much as possible when she is going to be home.  \n\nI hope that this helps.  I understand how hard it can be.  Best of luck.
48491
Sounds like a dysfunctional family.  Try to deep the children away from her as much as possible.  There has got to be an underlying reason for this kind of hostility.  Any idea what that could be?  Does your husband have anything to say about this?  I wish I had some profound words of wisdom for you, but I am at a loss.
547767
Taking her to court to enforce visitation for you will open a HUGE can of worms.  I'm not sure if you are thinking of the big picture here.  You may not be up to what she can rein down on you.  She can make up any story she wants to about you and bring you into court, dragged through the mud.  Legally, she can say whatever she wants to say about you to make it look as though you should not come within 100 feet of those kids either.  I've been there in a BIG way.  There is nothing like having your reputation as a normal, loving, upstanding person questioned.  And who is the court going to believe?  They believe her as much as they believe you.  Then you'll have to deal with a court liason running a fine toothed comb through your life and home to see if you are fit.  You've never felt so insulted and violated in your life and it's something you can scarecly recover from, even though it's for the love of a child.  I know you want to see your grandkids and I honestly believe in my heart that you will in time.  Right now, try to reason with her like a human being and appeal to her sense of compassion.  She is probably afraid that the kids will end up with your son when they are supposed to be with you and that's a normal way to feel.  I guarantee that trying to force this with her will only make things worse and make your life a living hell.  Please, for the sake of the kids, try to be patient.  It is terrible to see little ones stuck in the middle of this.  All of a sudden, they will feel as though they shouldn't trust you or they are wrong for loving you because their Mom is angry with you for forcing visitation.  They've already got mixed up feelings about not being able to see their Dad.  And then when they are with you, they'll feel guilty for loving Mom.  There is no way to win here.  I strongly suggest you wait it out.  She will cool down eventually and let you see the kids, but she has to do it in her own time.  As long as you hold your tounge and be ready the minute she says ok, you'll be rewarded.\nGod bless.
1006840
First of all, if your house and family are that bad, then she shouldn't come over any more.  Seems like to me she's being a BRAT, and using you and your family.  You should stop hanging with her and enjoy your family.  They can't be replaced, you can get a new friend.
266026
veena_2017satishkumar,\n\nDon’t allow anyone to treat you that way. He cannot do it without your permission. You suffer from low self esteem, or he wouldn’t even think of hitting you. The fact that you tolerate this misbehavior is regrettable.\n\nYour marriage is worth saving, but you must stop the violence, or it will only escalate. Your 2 children need to see a healthy marriage with 2 parents that love each other and love them. Set a good example for your children, so they will enjoy healthy relationships in the future. Teach them to stand against evil and win.\n\nI was married for 20 years and there were many problems for about 10 of those years, but I never hit my wife. Clearly a man has superior strength, but it is not right to use it to win an argument or to control another person.\n\nI will say a prayer for you. God bless.
180964
Just because she is a blood relation does not mean you have to tolerate her verbal abuse.You are well within your rights to tell her to put a sock in it.I would not blame you at all if you decided to trim back on the time you spent with her.Sometimes it's the only way to deal with negative family members.
233323
try to work things out with her. Both of you should compromise. But if you're always fighting, it can be a lot harder emotionally for the kids. Things can change and people can change, and if you BOTH work on it, things will get better and so will the both of you.
558777
You have been probably too lenient and do not always do what you say you will do to punish her when she is naughty.  That is my guess...At 11, children are beginning to test more and more boundaries with adults.  As her mother, if you are weak, she will learn that quickly and use it to HER advantage.  If you keep letting her be that way, she will continue to get worse.  Basically, she has no respect for you, more than likely.  You have to be make her REALIZE that YOU have the AUTHORITY...the upper hand.  She's a child, she does NOT know more than you, but if you keep letting her think so, she will keep walking all over you.  Before long, you will have NO control and MORE problems.  \nI suggest speaking to a therapist or counselor.  You can get counseling anywhere for free if you can not pay.  Ask you local  social services dept, a school representative, your doctor, someone at a church, the phone book has blue colored pages called "The Blue Pages" or "Government Pages" where you will find this kind of information.  Any one of these places, in your city or town or village, or county, can get you the help you need.\nGood luck...bad kids are not born, they are made.
714128
How old is she for starters?? If she is that desrespectful to you--please try to talk to her calmly and let her know. You can get a small tape recorder and secretly tape her when her when she does this to you, then play it back to her and let her listen to how she treats you. If that does not work--give her a choice--either to straighten up and be respectful you and your home or to please find another place to live that you have had enough of it. Don't feel guilty by doing what you have to do and making a good solid decision. You do not have to put up with that at all. Take care and blessings.
785749
ok, so mum is being manipulative as all get out!  \nthis is your day, your wedding, your life.  get on with it!  i speak from experience.  my mother pulled the same crap - do it my way or else!  well i gave in to her a lot and almost lost my fiance, [now husband], over it all.  thank god i woke up and stood up to her.   \nas calmly as you can reassure her she will always have a place in your life, and you want her to be part of your life, but it is your life.  \ntell her you want her at the wedding but will respect her decision if she chooses not to come. \nand tell your sister the same thing.  don't let them turn it into a discussion - you are telling them how its going to be and then stick with it.  \ngood luck kiddo, stay strong and marry your man the way you want to do it.  its your day, your life, your happiness - your family needs to realize that.
174639
You can't really do much except let it roll off your back.  She's family and she'll get treated differently probably until she screws up.  As unfair as that is.  You can't say much because that'll make you the bad guy.  If it's really bothering you, you should look for another job.