If you were ingaged to be married and your fience's mother hates you what do you do?
114405
First of all, should it matter?  You are engaged to be married to your fiance, not his/her mother.  If they are close, then try to be amicable.  Most of the time, try to avoid being with her.  If it really bothers you, try talking to her and find out why she hates you.  Sometimes when you talk to someone and get things out in the open, it will clear the air and clear some misunderstanding she had about you, and maybe after that, she will like you.
1127332
I would tell my mom that I was disappointed but it's not my place to meddle in her marriage.  I would tell dad to talk to mom about how he feels.  I would also tell him to follow his instincts, after all, he should know her better than anyone else.
505937
I'm personally all for eloping, but in your case, it seems it might cause more problems than solutions.\n\nYou and your fiance need to have a clear plan established for how you are going to handle his controlling mother.  If he feels 'loyalties' to her now, he will when you are married.  And in-laws can be a great source of tension in new marriages.\n\nHow much would it really bother your parents if you eloped?  Mine know I plan to do that, and it still hurts them a bit that they won't be there.  Make sure you won't be hurting them outwardly.\n\nHow about a compromise, go to the courthouse with your immediate family members and get married.  Then in Sept you can hold a celebration party.\n\nGood luck.
1124288
i can tell you one thing, i have been in your shoes. when my husband and i first got together his mom and his sister hated me. and that was ok because the feeling was mutual. he basicaly looked at his mom and told her "hey this is the girl i want to be with, forever, and if you don't like it that to f** bad. " His mom wasn't very happy with this. he moved out of the house and moved in with me. She only saw him on holidays because he didn't want anything to do with her if she wasn't going to accept me. And yes i know it has to do with "taking away her baby boy" blah blah blah. His mom didn't like me until 2 yrs later when i gave birth to her granddaughter. Mind you, we were already married. So my advice to you is be kind, be nice and take it with a grain of salt. If he loves you then he will be the one to step up and say somethig to his family. He'll be a man about the situation and explain to everyone that you are the one for him and they need to accept you and respect you and the relationship that he has with you. Good Luck!
785749
ok, so mum is being manipulative as all get out!  \nthis is your day, your wedding, your life.  get on with it!  i speak from experience.  my mother pulled the same crap - do it my way or else!  well i gave in to her a lot and almost lost my fiance, [now husband], over it all.  thank god i woke up and stood up to her.   \nas calmly as you can reassure her she will always have a place in your life, and you want her to be part of your life, but it is your life.  \ntell her you want her at the wedding but will respect her decision if she chooses not to come. \nand tell your sister the same thing.  don't let them turn it into a discussion - you are telling them how its going to be and then stick with it.  \ngood luck kiddo, stay strong and marry your man the way you want to do it.  its your day, your life, your happiness - your family needs to realize that.
530470
I'd throw her a party. Invite all her friends she's been running me down to. Include my sisters. Then in front of all her friends I'd tell her EXACTLY how she treated me all through my life. How it made me feel to be laughed at wearing cloth shoes in the middle of winter. How everyone treated me when I'd show up for a school trip with nothing in my pocket.\n\nHow her phone calls affect my schooling and how I made something of myself in spite of how she tried to ruin my life. While it's true she is your mother, if she doesn't treat you with love and is always running you down, then it might as well have been a test tube. Family is more then the group you were born into, it is the whole loving environment.
536565
i feel sorry for you. i have a similar situation. my boyfriend's mother doesn't like me as well. we have been together for more than 4 years now.  what i suggest is you discuss this matter with your boy and try to win your future mother in law.  if you can't just fix your relationship with your man and just ignore her.  what's important is that you and your man are madly inlove with each other.
1094047
have the baby. you should have waited till marraige.  shame on you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
1045756
well my sister is married to a man i hate...he is a no good drunken ************* ************ ************** ************ ***************** **************, but i just keep my mouth shut because she wants to make it work.......so i would say just be there for her always and keep your opinions to yourself...that is what she and i do for eachother.....she don't tell me sh*t and i don't tell her sh*t...seems to work out just better this way!
1113427
I'd tell off my mother-in-law! \n\nI'd tell her it is NOT okay to hit me, it is not okay to put me down in front of my children, her son CHOSE me so she needs to forget aout his ex, she needs to stop saying she wants to fins him a new wife, she needs to stop lying, she needs to stop steeling my things, especially my underwear, and she needs to keep her nose in her own business. I know hoe to keep my man happy, while hers is walking out the door every month becuase he's fed up of her. If she's not careful, one of these time's he's not going to come back.
1090425
You and your husband will have to make a real effort on this one, and be the bigger people so to speak.  I don't think it's normal for a mother to act like that towards her son and his fiancee, now his wife.  Something is definitely wrong with her mentally.  Just remember that you can choose your friends, but not your family.  I think you and your hubby will have to speak with his mother about the wedding thing, just to get past it and clear the air.  She needs to know how it made you feel to be let down on your Big Day.  You can choose to forgive her or forget it, but you have to be able to move past what's happened in the past.  I don't really have any big words of wisdom other than to take the high road and don't play into her games.  Sometimes you gotta call a Spade a Spade!  No matter how bad she treats you, turn your cheek and be extremely nice back to her.... it gets them every time!
455235
What you wrote sounds like my story. I've got the same problem with my mother in law. My husband really appreciates that I act like I'm stupid. \nI refuse to drop down to her level and when she is really mean to me I just smile and nod. Sometimes I think she tries her hardest to piss me off, but I won't give her that joy.\nFor your husband it's probably best to ignore the situation and play along like you all get along. It's not worth splitting up families over. You may regret it if your husband decides to choose for you and stops speaking to his mom.\nBe happy she doesn't live IN your house. \n\nStay the respectable party and don't let your feelings show! I know this is tough but it's the most peaceful way. Good luck, don't let her drive you mad, you've got the upper hand!
853110
"Various Reasons"  I will trust you when you say none of them are serious.  If I were you, I would put my foot down once and for all.  Tell your Mom and your sister, be nice about it but firm,  that you do not appreciate their back stabbing regarding your wife-to-be.  Tell them you love them all, but you are not going to put up with any more of it.  And if they love you, they will have to make the effort to accept her as well, because YOU love her and that should be reason enough.  Tell them that disrespecting HER is like disrespecting YOU.  And you do not want them to do it anymore.  If they are reasonable people, they will listen and abide.  If they are not, I would simply make myself scarce when it comes to visiting your mother and sister.  Harsh as it may sound, they will get the message and eventually lighten up on your beloved.  CONGRATS on your upcoming wedding and GOOD LUCK!!
94173
block their #s from your phone. write to your in laws (return reciept) and tell them point blank: this is MY husband NOT your little boy. you've done all the raising of MY HUSBAND that you will ever do. mother in law, if you have a husband then HE needs to provide for you. MY HUSBAND does not need to provide anything for you. that's YOUR husband's job. and to sis: do you have husband? no. then you are your PARENTS responibility. go get a life i got mine. and tell your husband to get a SPINE and use it. he chose you not his sister.
1073750
I am in a similiar situation.\n\nMy someday soon-to-be sister inlaw is very irritating to me.  She is Very judgemental, opinionated and I wouldnt be surprised if she hates the idea of us someday getting married.  So, needless to say, I really understand your situation.  Now what to do... I will give you the best advice I can, even though I havent yet solved my own situation.   \nFirst of All ~ Always remain focused on your man and on your relationship with him.  He is the one you are with.\nAt family Events ~ Try finding someone else that you can hang out with and/or relate to.  Or, spend extra time in the Kitchen helping with food preps or other busy work.  Be Helpful.  If she is mean to you then she will look like a real loser.  You will look great cooking, helping etc.\nHope these tips help.  Best wishes to you.  Be yourself I am sure that is good enough.  OH & don't worry too much, most of what we worry about never actually Happens!!!
931812
If you love him then marry him if he asks. Your and his parents shouldn't have any influence on you love for each other. If his mother doesn't like you thats her loss. When you marry someone it's just between you that person and God nobody else has anything to do with it. \nMy husband's mother didn't like me before we got married, we dated for 3 years before we got married and that whole three years was miserable when we where around each other, it's gotten better now that she's realized that he is no longer her baby boy, but a grown man and has his own life. Stay with him if you love him and things will eventually get better, just let her know that you aren't a threat to her and kill her with kindness. Good luck, and prayers.
192440
If she's willing to marry you, forget what the parents say. Go elope and move far from them.