how can I get my mother in law off my back ?
114417
Send her fishing.......make sure there is a hole in your boat first....call Scott Peterson...he may help you?
986946
If you can get free time away from your kids, then you should be able to go and do whatever the heck you want to do.  I have three kids, and if I can get away, then I go as far away as I can.  I'll go to the mall, or to the Bingo, or, just sit ouside in a park ( I know there are still kids there, but they aren't MY problem.)\nYou are a mom.  You can never be perfect, (even though your mother-in-law seems to think you should be) But if you do the best that you can, and it should be without criticism.
934944
Send him a letter? Dont you dare. He should always back you up - you are the one he is married to. I think you need to find alternate arrangements for babysitting. Quietly, with dignity, make other arrangements. If the grandma and aunty are not respecting your wishes, what makes you think they wont be disrespecting you infront of your kids? Try to put some distance between you and his family, so you and your husband can form your own tight knit unit. Then when you want to, you can see them on your terms. As dr phil says you teach people how to treat you - dont put up with it. Demand a higher standard of behaviour from them.
1055586
Well, I am an alien to my mother in law! I am from a different country, different culture, and the worst thing: I'm independent!!! She thinks that my husband (her little baby!!!) should control every single thinking I have...   What I do: as I can't change her, I just Play the role!!!!!! Visiting her once a week, and sometimes inviting her to go out.. Thing that she'll never do, but ok, I did my best.  As much as I can, I keep her "apart" from my relationship, as well as avoiding mixing, even when we are together!!!! Consider that my husband was living abroad and he understands my way - it's more than enough!!!!And of course, praying to Allah to keep me on the right way....
778090
sound like the twin of my ex mother in law. I am assuming her hubby isn't around to torture anymore. Hubby feels like she is protecting his interest. He needs to be reminded of who his interests really are. Ultimatum time. Don't let this unhappy person get you down to her level, where she will be more comfortable with you. Move away. Find her a Hobie, like "find your way home"
953071
Tell your mother in law she needs to get a tonguectomy.  LOL\n\n\nYour mother in law is always telling you what to do, but are doing what she tells you?  It's very simple.  The two of you together need to tell her to keep her nose out of your personal affairs, and if she can't manage to do that then she will be out of your lives for good.  The choice will be hers to make.
1090425
You and your husband will have to make a real effort on this one, and be the bigger people so to speak.  I don't think it's normal for a mother to act like that towards her son and his fiancee, now his wife.  Something is definitely wrong with her mentally.  Just remember that you can choose your friends, but not your family.  I think you and your hubby will have to speak with his mother about the wedding thing, just to get past it and clear the air.  She needs to know how it made you feel to be let down on your Big Day.  You can choose to forgive her or forget it, but you have to be able to move past what's happened in the past.  I don't really have any big words of wisdom other than to take the high road and don't play into her games.  Sometimes you gotta call a Spade a Spade!  No matter how bad she treats you, turn your cheek and be extremely nice back to her.... it gets them every time!
761878
Go to your husband's parents!\n\nFailing that, go to your own, so they will not be by themselves.
496741
It seems that your mother in law is lonely.  She must not have anyone else to confide in.  Although this is a burden you shouldn't have to carry, her talking with you alone is helping her.  Examine the problem you had with her before.  The ex's must have allowed her to have this behavior.  Which is why she kept up with them, not for his benefit, but hers.  Another female to confide in, to sympathize with her.  Does she have any of her own daughters?  Maybe she feels she should be able to be close with you as she sees you as her daughter.  She could feel comfortable talking with you because she trusts and respects your opinions.  Being dogged and treated like crap by your husband truly affects who you are.  You question yourself, your existance, your will to go on.  You eventually lose who you are.  All the while clinching to anything for your sanity.  You must decide how you want to handle this.  Do you want to shrug her off and continue to hold your grudge on what she did to you.  Or choose to forgive her and open your heart to her.  It's your choice.
503669
It took my husband 15 years to be able to tell his mom exactly what he thinks, and only now with me backing him up. If your mom is controlling, there is no NICE way to handle her. You  have to just come out and say what you are thinking because if she is anything like my mom-in-law, she won't take you seriously. Be Very blunt. Tell her you are not TRYING to hurt her, but that this is how you feel. GOOD LUCK!!!!!!!!!!
842658
Your mother in law is forgetting the meaning of THANKSgiving.\n\nDO NOT let your marriage be dragged into the mess.  If you ate with your MIL last year then YOU and YOUR husband should honor your sisters wish to have the whole family together.   Explain to dragon lady that this is the first time in years your family has been together and RE invite her to enjoy a day with NO work. \nI lived it the WRONG way for 23 years I spent holidays at my in laws because we are neighbors and my mother in law DEMANDS it.  My mom lived 3 hours away and my  household was used to the big family get together next door.  SO we ALWAYS went to the in laws...So MY mom had a 3 or 4 person Thanksgiving .  \nMy mom died in June and I wish I had spent more Holidays with her. \n\nIf YOUR mother in law lives near by,  and your husband sees her regularly~  Then let her whine about Thanksgiving.    She should NOT be allowed to manipulate YOUR life with YOUR husband.    Visit her for PIE at her home after dinner, but do NOT give in and eat there.\n\n\nSorry so long , but TRUST me... I lived it the wrong way for 23 years...
908144
Catch her putting in a camera on one of your own.  Then , send the tape to all your husband's relatives.  Once people know that others know, they usually drop their invasion of you and your life.  It's like the dirty little secret is out.\n\nNow, there is another problem here -- you are really upset and feel invaded by this.  Since your husband is so unresponsive, can you see a counselor?  You need to work out your feelings, since in the end she is still your mother-in-law and the grandmother to your child -- and will be forever, no matter if a divorce occurs, etc.  \n\nNaturally, your mother-in-law is sick and needs help.  I'm hoping other family members will realize the extent to which she is sick and will intervene.  I'm also hoping others will help your husband see reality.  As often happens, there are plenty of folks who put up with bad behavior, to the point of denying its existence, because the love and feel loyalty to that person.  It's called cooperating with the illness.  You need to walk a simple line ... without being critical and judgemental, state repeatedly that she is sick and needs help, that this is not the behavior of a rational adult, that there is free counseling through the church, etc.  What you are trying to do by this is get people to agree with you, so it's not a case of choose a side.  Instead, you are asking them to choose to help her.\n\nGood luck -- I feel for you and wish I had better advice for how to handle this.
493280
tell her to leave and talk with your son about her behavior
956005
Your mother-in-law is'nt a psyco case. in fact you are very lucky to have such a caring mil and you should be greatful to god.\n\nshe stops you from going around the house wihtout a bra because you are a young girls. your mom in law has been with the men in the family for a long time now and they wont think about her in any other sense. but you being new to the family will attract attention easily.\n\nshe is following her meternal instinct of prevention is better thatn cure. why even take a chance of your being in trouble?\n\ninstead of abusing her like this be glad that even after marriage you are getting the same love and care of a mother.
105297
there's nothing you can do about it.Your husband needs to disguss it with them since it's his family,and tell them nicely to knock it off.
779406
I wondered where my mother in law went.
662922
tell mom-in-law to do things your way in your home or hit the highway...[its your life] make your own choices..