I dated someone who was a drug dealer, and he got caught and committed suicide a long time ago. However, I still talk about him and have dreams that he is stil alive.. what is wrong with me? why can't I let go? :(
127164
I dont think theres anything "wrong" with you. You were in a relationship with someone who had a very strong impact on your life, and his life ended in a traumatic way for those who are living to deal with. The fact that you project in your dreams the wish that he was still alive is not necesarily anything out of the ordinary. Although some time has passed it doesnt mean that the person will ever necesarily drop out of your life altogether. Even once you have "moved on" he will still come up from time to time. Try and remember the best of what you two shared together, but also try and experience different oppertunites and allow new people to enter into your world.
229293
You don;t need drugs. You are going thru a normal period of grief and mourning for a relationship that has ended. This is entirely normal. Although the situation is harder because you do still have to come in contact with him.\nIf the crying and feelings of sadness continue for more than a few months I suggest you go and speak to your doctor at that time.\n\nAll the best to you.\nIt will get easier as time passes. Hang in there!
119224
Hi, I answered your other question you posted about your boyfriend.  I was glad that I was able to help you out a little bit.  I was troubled to see you spoke of killing yourself if something should happen to him.  First, Try to get that thought out of your head!  Suicide is never the answer for anything.  You cant just give up like that.  Now is the time you need to be strong, for your boyfriend, and more importantly yourself.  If you need to chat with somebody, You can always email me jam961@yahoo.com  Things may appear rough for you right now.... But they can get better.  Instead of worrying about the "what if's" of life, you should focus on what is going on right now.  Enjoy being with your boyfriend now.  Build some memories to last a lifetime, and try to be happy.  If you really love this guy, you should be happy that he has been....and still is a very important part of your life.  Once he has a place in your heart, even if God forbid, he does take a turn for the worst, he will always be right there with you... In your memories, and deep down in your heart.  But don't even think about that now, just enjoy being there for each other.
605812
I was in a relationship with a cocaine addict. I got out of it after MY health became an issue due to the stress he was causing ME. I know it may sound uncaring, but you have to look out for yourself.
596329
You have started to regain your life back. Meth will eventually bring anyone down to a living hell. I am proud you are strong enough to Put it behind you. But I am sorry to hear your boyfriend has not. the only way for you to survive is to let him be  part of that pass also. I know its hard, but thats the path  for you to move forward. Memories of a fun time is what you have, keep it, but that time has long pass. So keep moving in the right direction, don't look back.
407589
if he told you he loved you, then why would he try to hurt you? his drug buisness is serious. and if he gets caught he might end up spendign the rest of his life in jail. all the money he worked for will be gone..and you might even get in trouble to. are you willing to risk all of this for him? if you are then stay with him. if you are not then tell him all the dangers he is risking for both of you. and tell him that he needs to pick between drugs or you.
314761
Sometimes the idea of loving a person is better than the reality of them.  I am not saying that this is anything against you, but perhaps he was more in love with the idea of you.  If he no longer has these feeings for you, and refuses to talk, then I'd say it's time to move on.  I hope he isn't a creep determined to pass STDs along to every girl he can.  If it's been four days, and he hasn't talked to you, then he lacks the respect to end things the right way.  It's being a coward.  As for why you are doing this to yourself?  Can't sleep?  Well, you were duped.  No shame in that, it's not your fault.  It can take a long time to get over a love.  Hang in there. Try your best to get some sleep.  When you are sleep deprived, you can not think correctly.
97377
well you being there helps, but if you can no longer take it you may just have to leave and he might straighten up. I had to attend NA after I was arrested for meth possession. When I started attending I was clean for 3 months already. So the program did not do anything extra for me. My biggest support group was my girlfriend. She always told me I could tell her anything but in past relationships this was always crap. So I was fearful to tell her that I was an addict. She has never used so it was easy to hide. I was damn lucky she was still there for me after I got popped. And she is still here for me 5 years later. Besides I am too damn small to go to prison.
546497
There is this guy named Michael, 23 years old, who was with my little sister as she overdosed on heroin.   He robbed her as she lay dying and then took off and lied about the whole thing to the police.   There were 10 other people in the apartment also who did nothing but Michael sold her the heroin and he robbed her as she was passed out and turning blue.   She was 18, beautiful, went to school and worked and she was a true artist.   Miss her so much.   I know she has responsibility in her death but I absolutely hate him for his part.   I would call him and pretend I want to buy some dope from him and arrange to meet him.   Then I would show up with two big guys and throw him in the trunk of the car.   Drive to a isolated destination and torture him a couple of hours.   I would burn him with cigarettes and cut him with a good quality knife and force him to drink bleach.   I would start to choke him.  As he lay dying I would show him pictures of my sister and let him know he is own his way to his death as I sip on a glass of champagne.   Too bad it is just a fantasy that I have.
608905
It's not impossible, but why would you want to try to recall those memories?  Would it change the person you have become?  All I can see it doing is causing you pain.  I would chalk it up as just a weird dream you had because you used to have a crush on him.  And, if you were six when he moved way, maybe your recollection of how and why he moved are a little blurry.  Would you even really know if he had moved away in a "panic?"
471415
It sounds like your acquaintance is having trouble figuring out who is he (this used to be called "finding yourself" once upon a time). As he explores different ways of looking at the world and at himself via the drugs, he's also exploring different ways of being. Could be that he'd benefit from some counseling, but that's up to him if he wants to really delve into his own psyche or if he'd rather just abuse his body to the point where he no longer cares who he is. I believe that most people have the capacity to be bisexual, and there's nothing bad about that. However, making advances on friends he knows to be straight indicates he's having problems with judgment (also evidenced by the drug use). So, the drugs per se are a symptom of what's going on with him, not the cause. They're just allowing him a facade to hide behind as he expresses his own inner feelings. I realize it's not your place to intervene, but the drugs are most likely going to destroy him; hopefully he won't take anyone else down with him.
666888
What you're experiencing is very normal. It will be with you the rest of your life. Unless you decide that once and for all those slimeballs are not going to ruin it for you!\n\nI'm speaking from a perspective very like yours. There's a certain former boyscout master who I dreamed of- well, hurting BADLY so he won't have any such thoughts again- for a very long time. And this piece of filth used other kids too. However, he would do well to avoid his former haunts now!\n\nThese days I am now happily married, and while I have no kids of my own I get to enjoy spoiling my pets and my nephews.
99970
yes I wished I could do that but unfortuntly you cann't do that.  We have to learn how to let those feelings go and move on with our lives!!!!  I had a friend that tore my heart out of my chest at that's not the 1st time lol...  But this friend just really did a # on me.  I mean just about a year ago we stopped talking and I didn't understand why?  Then the truth finally came out she just used me for things like drugs,MY car,a place to stay at were she could stay away from home and I also think that she used me as a bodygard so if someone was going to beat her up then you would have to go meet me(im not a small girl like she was) but anyways you get my point of the matter.  So I have got away from drugs my car don't have her a$$ in it lol lol lol....I have seen that things come back to them and they well have someone else to do it to them too so don't worry they will get whats coming to them sooner or later...also don't let them brack you as a person be strong for yourself...I hope this info helps you out some...also I have heard that you will only have 2 or 3 REAL friends in your life thats not alot so be very choosey with friends.
322125
My abusive ex.  I won't go into details but the physical and mental damage done by this man is something I carry with me all the time.  Because of him I cannot have children and underwent 5 surgeries to fix the physical damage.  The paranoia I deal with on a daily basis because he has not been caught can be crippling at times, to the point I get afraid to go outside or go anywhere alone.  I cannot trust people like I used to nor do I let people close to me anymore, except a very select few.  It's left a feeling in me that seems to say people will suck you in by acting nice then they will turn on you like a rabid dog once you are sucked in and let your guard down.  I know, realistically, that isn't the case but it has left that feeling.  No, I'm not over this yet but I am working on it.  It just takes time to undo the damage done.  But it did take part of me and who I used to be away and I will never be able to get that back.
466958
Dreams aren't about real people and real things. The people and places in them represent things. Your ex is simply not a positive force in your life in reality, but your hopes and dreams represented by this person that you once loved are. When you met him, you planned a life based on the information you had at the time. That brought you peace and happiness. When you accepted the reality that he was a drunk, and you couldn't live with that, while he changed in your reality, what he represents didn't. \n\nYou aren't dreaming about him, you are dreaming about what you want to make you happy again. Don't use your connection to him (your daughter) as an excuse to hang yourself. Many partners of alcoholics rationalize the pain of living with one when they get away from it. \n\nYou need to find a focus in your life other than the past. Get involved with something you have a passion for, or simply donate your time and energy to helping the disadvantage. Do something that occupies your life, because you are feeling unfulfilled and you are unhappy. Don't get sucked into believing that the past will make you happy again, it will not. Drunks do not ever change, even when they stop drinking. \n\nGood luck to you.
522406
maybe you didn't have closure with the ex.  I know that's the reason my ex still haunts me after 5 years.  fortunately i've got the greatest gf in the world, and i can talk to her about this.  I LOVE NIKI!!!
499026
I'm sorry, but it is clear to me that you have a self image problem.  You want him solely because you can't get him and you have dropped out of school because of him.\n\nYou are intelligent enough to realize the underlining problem.  Are you mature enough to act appropriately?\n\nIf he stayed with you, knowing how you feel, he would probably (human nature) take advantage of you and there is a very good possibility that he would sexually and physically abuse you.  This would further decrease your self image.\n\nSTOP NOW!\n\nIf you can not do it yourself, seek professional help.  This is not to belittle you.  I am impressed that you recognized the problem and am taking steps to seek help.\n\nWhat I did in a similiar situation was to recall something stupid that the person did and everytime I found myself thinking about that person I would force myself to recall the stupid things that person did.  After repeatedly laughing about the stupidity (we all do stupid things) of the person I found myself free of my self imposed connection to the person.\n\nI have since found a person that I truly love and who loves me.  The person respects me (and I respect myself) for whom I am.\n\nRemember everyone, no matter who they are, have good qualities.  You are a very special person.  No one else is exactly like you.  If you thought about it you would realize all that you contribute to the world through the people you know and those you don't realize you know.\n\nRemember the movie "While you were sleeping" with Sandra Bullock.  She was a ticket taker on the subway.  She convinced herself that she loved a man who did not know she existed, but in the end, she found her true love who loved her.\n\nBest of luck.