Genetically, since I was born, I've always been antisocial. I don't like crowds, they make me grumpy. I hate uninvited guests, and friends coming over unannounced. What can I do? My social life is getting killed with this behaviour!
133838
I don't think you are anti-social. I do think you are dealing with an avoidant personality disorder (we all have something wrong with us, so don't feel too special!), a social anxiety disorder. Being anti-social is when you have serious problems that go against the measures of society (killing, pedophilia, etc.). The symptoms you are describing aren't like this. Having an avoidant personality, however, you like things to stay the same and you have trouble socially when it comes to friendships, crowds, etc. There's nothing WRONG with you. It's just that you have a different social make-up than others, and that's a good thing. I know plenty of people who do not like friends coming over unannounced--first of all, it's rude to show up uninvited and expect to be entertained!\n\nIf you want to do something productive to keep your social life in balance, perhaps you could take each friend aside and tell them that you don't really care for uninvited guests. You'd like to avoid being grumpy and feeling put out by them. If they are your true friends, they will honor this and accept that you are who you are. If they don't honor your request, well, get some new friends.\n\nSeek counselling if it really bothers you. There is help for this through therapy and medication. Good luck to you!
231907
The fact that you're asking the question seems to point to your own realization that you don't want to be a bastard. But for some reason you've accepted the fact that at your core that is really who you are.\n\nWe need friends. We all need help along the way. Life is too hard and complicated for anyone to make it through by themselves. So I would say your first step is to search out your own heart. Why is it that you feel like your first reaction is to be cruel/mean/rude? Look for issues that are long past that you have never let go of--perhaps someone mistreated you or hurt you and you now react to the whole world as if everyone has hurt you. Let it go. Find your own peace. Then you can stop feeling like you're "acting" like a kind and helpful person. You can "be" a kind and helpful person.\n\nHope that helps.
653445
Overwhelm yourself with friends. \nI get over things like that when I hang out with one person or a group of people that NEVER make me feel bad. \nAlso pick one person to cry on. Don't conseal it completely or you'll explode!
127225
I'm an introvert, I don't go to parties, bars, can barely stand gatherings of people I know well.  But I work in school admissions and deal with people all day long.  I can be social in that context, it's more formal I guess.\n\nSo did you call that person?  Your other question posted.  I hope you did!
245594
I am also like this but its not just my friends that think I am boring, my family also has a problem with it. I have just never been the "going out" type. I much prefer to go to movies or stuff like that. Clubs and parties aren't for me, although I have fun when I go. I think that you should do what makes you happy and those people that give you a ton of mess over it aren't your real friends. You have to do what makes you happy and stay true to you.
217630
I don't know if your racist, but I think some people have really pissed you off.  I'm white and have never been a brown noiser if you know what I mean.  It got me the title of anti-social.  No, I just refused to kiss butt.  After a hard day at work, I want to go home and see my family and kids not kiss butt for several more hours with people who make me sick to my stomach with all of there back stabbing and lies and attempts to kiss the Mans behind.  I feel like you should judge me on my merits and my hard work not by my social hours with the boss.  My job is important to me, but so is my family and my sense of reality.  Dude, by the way I know Black people who are the same way as Fat Boy Whitie.  Wait till you met them....Good luck on your future.  But people like this come in all colors of the rainbow.
357330
You break a introvert with a 2x4!!  Come on! if you dont being around people (or dislike people all together), then why are you so compelled to fall in line with peole that are not like you?  Your confidence has little to do with you wanting to mingle. Trust me, had I a real choice in the matter, I would live so  far in the wilderness that it would take a plane to get to work every day if I had the choice, but its my JOB to interact with people. when the day is done, i want to be left the f... alone!! Take up a hobby that you can do alone yet meet others, like fishing, biking or mountian climbing. \nJoin a Sci fi fan club or RPG group or something. And if you do, make sure its OFFLINE! Stop hiding behind your monitors screen, that'll help a great deal.\n\n There has to be a row of coming of age movies made over the past 50 years that cover the topic of some geeky kid doing all he or she can to mingle with the "in" crowd... rent, look and learn.Dont quit being who you are for the sake of being a part of the crowd.
485991
Is he this way even meeting other people?  Some people have a phobia of socializing.  They don't know how to act around people and it stresses them out so much that they would rather avoid it.
87274
It's good that you are willing to help others. It won't be easy if you are a true introvert. I'm pretty much an introvert myself, and would probably be living with my mom and dad or just working at McDonalds if it weren't for lucky things that have happened to me. Thank the fates!\nWhat would help me right now would be if I weren't such an introvert, but you know what? Since I can't do that, and I'm having to endure being around other people, letting them see what a dork I am, then what I really need is more patience, more patience for me to have, and I wish more patience other people to have for me.\nI'm happy that I am alone right now....\nI'm scared that I won't be alone, a friend is coming over and we're going out...Then I have to go back to work Monday.\nI'm angry that I have to be this way, and other people will say, "Get over it!" It's not that easy...\nGood luck!
203578
Relax, a lot of us have been in the same situation.  I was never one to have many friends and because I was one of the smallest in my class a lot of people often tried to pick on me.  I learned that the best thing to do is simply not care about what other people think or say.  I learned to accept who I was and the fact that a lot of people are just mean or idiots.  In the end I had a few good friends and people left me alone because they found out they didn't matter to me and the things they said and did didn't bother me.  If they know what they do affects you then they keep doing it just because they get a reaction out of you.
460502
I have been that lonely.  I know exactly how you feel.  Don't you wish you were in a tent were nobody could enter.  I have anxiety attacks therefore hated being with people.  Im depressed.  I thought everyone was talking about me or laughing at me.  I still hate big places and stay out of them.  I went to a doctor and am on medication.  Now I even drive.   I still get lonely sometimes but i could get out and can stand being in a party for a while.  you may have anxiety disorder with panic attacks.  good luck
24636
Sorry to hear that you are having a hard time socializing.  I think you need to give some more information before anyone can fully answer your question.\n\nFirst, is your problem associated with your inability to "connect" (or understand) others?  Do you wonder if you're normal or what normal behavior is?  Or, are you highly intelligent and find others not smart enough to have a meaningful conversation?\n\nOr, is this an anxiety issue?  Do you worry about what others think of you?  Are you concerned that people will laugh at you or talk about you?\n\nIf this is a matter of having a tough time understanding other people, I wonder if you might have come from an alcoholic family?  I ask because sometimes children of alcoholics complain of these kinds of issues--they can't integrate, don't know how to behave normally, feel out of sorts.  If you did come from an alcoholic family, seek out a local ACOA or AA meeting for support.\n\nIf you feel anxiety seek out medical help.  Drugs like Paxil can reduce social anxiety.\n\nFinally, if you feel as if you're simply a misfit--seek out other misfits.  Do you have an odd hobby?  Find others with that hobby.  Chances are you'll see eye to eye.\n\nGood luck.
551933
If you know you're being to blunt with people then try not to do it anymore. That is probably the reason behind your social delimma.
641263
i like all kinds of people. i don't like rude, impolite people who think they are better than everyone. i don't like snobs or slobs. but for the most part i get along with almost everyone. my friends are loud and obnoxious, crazy croud. but they say i'm the village idiot that would do anything they would dare me to do. my response to that is i'm just not afraid of a challenge. comming from a small city tucked somewhere in northern ontario, everyone knows everyone here. so ppl do things to be known. taking a drive for us is blaring our music and honking and waving to everyone on the streets. and that's only our sunday drives!
593124
I get that a lot but there is very little one can do with inconsiderate people we are forced to live with due to circumstance. What I usually do is avoid these situations as much as I can and hopefully avoid crazy people who might just harm me. I suggest you do the same and hopefully in a year or two you buy you own home with plenty of parking space reserved for you :)
358508
Well, what brings it on? Do you get nervous in crowds? Is it being around too many people that gets you this way?\n\nIf it usually happens when you're in front of other people (and because you're in front of people), you might have an anxiety disorder. You can have those anxiety attacks at home, alone, too. Talk to your doctor. If that's what the problem is, there are some good anti-anxiety medications that might help you.
67700
You're suffering from "peer pressure" but lucky for you, you see it's wrong and it makes you unhappy.  If you are unhappy with yourself you can make no one happy in the long run.  Stay true to yourself and respect yourself for being comfortable enough for being who you are.  There is a big wide world beyond school out there and the best way to get a start is to "stay true to yourself".  Good luck!