i know that sounds terrible. I will try to explain. First of all, i never know if they are comming or not, which makes it difficult to plan any activties or even dinner. When they do come, it is not for long, and I am rushed to get dinner cooked and feed them. I have 2 children of my own and the age diffrence is is great. Mine are 4&8  his are 12&15 ,so they have diffrent sets of rules. It is hard for my children to seehis kids be able to do things they can't. Basically when they come over my house and routine are turned upside down. My kids share a bedroom, and there is no room for his. Honestly, I don't really like them too much. They are BRATS and they go back and tell their mother everything that goes on at my house, so I have to walk on eggshells around them. I have tried in the past to work it out. My boyfriend purposely keeps that part of his life seperate from me, but he is helping me raise my children, and they have a father whom they see regularly.
123096
Perhaps you can talk to him and see what you can sort out. It would certainly be better if he could tell you earlier so you can make plans for them. It will be an ongoing issue for your relationship so you need to sort things out both with your kids and his kids. You want to avoid having a situation where he perceives that you are asking him to choose between you and his kids.
550859
You are gonna have a hard time until the kids are all older, and his job doesn't help with things...\n\nJust accept that at the moment, stuff isn't going to work properly and deal with that... As for sex, well, you are in trouble there...
118847
Yes, my next door neighbor definitely lacks parenting skills and as a result her 5 and 7 year old boys are obnoxious to be around.  They have absolutely no chores.  All they do is mess up the house till you can't walk through it.  She encourages them to whine and whine for things like ice cream and the louder they whine and cry the faster and more ice cream they get.  She is creating two monsters with no manners or self-control.  She can't get a babysitter in the neighborhood because the boys have a bad reputation and no one will care for them.  The 7 year old starts fires at midnight on the front porch and breaks his neighbor's windows out if he gets angry.  They're completely hopeless.  I avoid them like the plague.....)(
629051
Poor thing.  I feel for you, and I would be pulling my hair out too!  However, your kids are old enough to pull their own weight a bit.  Put them to work to help you out (certainly they can pick up after themselves and take care of the dogs), and limit the amount of time that the boyfriends and girlfriends can hang out.  I think the reason women get so overwhelmed it because they don't say "no" often enough.
311458
I am 32 and have been married to the same man since I was 19.  I had my first child @ 20 and second @ 23.  I work when I can, but with my hubbys job, sometimes I have to stay home.  I like having dinner ready for him.  Its not a bargain.  It is in the vows we take in our wedding.  When I am sick, he takes care of me and vice versa.  You can only speak for yourself, and that is good enough.  Have fun now, while you can, and save the dinner fixin' for later in life.
644858
I would for sure let her know she can not be late you have a schedule, and for these people who say you are being unreasonable then no way they have ever worked at a daycare or had any dealings with one.  You have to stick by your rules! If you don't then everyone will expect you to let them get away with it.  I would talk to her ask if there is a problem why she can not get there on time.  I can understand it happening once or twice in a years time, but overall there has to be a schedule. I would take the children back if she agreed to not be late again. I would be firm.  There must be something about you she likes to want to go back there instead of bringing them to someone else. Goodluck!
499056
This is really hard. The most important thing is not treat the kids differently. They all nedd the same ammount of time from both of you but they need time with you that is just theirs individual too. It's also important that thjey each have their own space and don't feel left out. As for your husband, I would make it very clear to him that he better respect your time with your kids as you do his or he'll be finding himself a new mommy!
497421
Time to stand up for yourself. Sounds like you have been tolerating this behavior for awhile and you are ready to do what you have to do to make a change.\n\nSet ground rules with the adult children privately. I am assuming the adult children are either your sons or your daughters. Be very exact about where you stand and explain respectfully but firmly that you are not a slave or a maid. Tell them you enjoy spending time with them but if it means more work for you then that time will become less.\n\nIf you are dating because you are divorced from their father, explain that you are not dead and you are entitled to a life that does not require their approval. \n\nRemind them that you fulfilled your obligation to them as a parent and now you will give them the same time and space and respect to raise their own children without having to cook and/or clean up after them
281363
Hi: My husband and I have children from previous marriages and it is complicated.  The blended family needs a disclaimer: results may vary.  In my experience both partners need to give the other alot of grace.  Relationships can be difficult with our own children, let alone a new girlfriend/wife.  Some parent child relationships are difficult, some are easy.  Psychologists call this goodness of fit. We all have different personalities and we can't always relate to one another.  As for my husband and I, after alot of stuggle I think we relized we are not able to rescue our kids from the missing parent that left them.  Our kids are the ones that respond to the step parent, if they choose not to be responsive and enter into a relationship we cannot force them.  The wicked step mother applys, even when you are an angel from heaven.  Some kids never respond to the step parent.  Dr. James Dobson said in one of his books (paraphrased): The child takes on the job of protecting the family of orgin, they will ask when is Daddy coming home, they will say "you are'nt my mom."  It really depends on how old your kids are.  I think in our case, our kids were too old to start a new family.  My husband and I should of waited to get married until the nest was less populated.  In short if you married a woman with no kids, dont expect her to be perfect, and angel sent to make everything roses and sunshine for your kids.  If she is human she will have stuggles and make mistakes, but love is the greatest of all.\nGod Bless.....
539414
If you are not happy, your kids are not happy. They can sense something is wrong, so the "Those poor kids" comment goes both ways. Sounds like the hubby is trying to put a wedge between you and your family. The truth will come out, just do what you have to and protect your children. Sound like a bad situation to me, and you are making the right move.
92487
Your not being bossy, you are growing up and taking responsibility for your life.  I know it is probably hard for him to accept that he needs to grow up also but if he really loves you and his son then he needs to.  It simply is not ok to continue that life style when there are so many more important things in his life now.  He needs to understand that just because you are both growing older and you want to be more responsible isn't the end of all the fun in your lives.  It is just that the definition of fun needs to change.  It needs to be more family oriented.  Instead of going out partying till all hours of the night, you have friends over for a barbecue, you take a family trip, etc...
356254
You answered your own question within the body of the explanation-you said "My daughter is 3 months old and I can't do it without them" -- sounds like you have made your decision, which it is YOUR DECISION! Major decisions like this shouldn't be made on a yahoo forum. Why not talk to all of the family and your boyfriend and explain to them how they are tearing you apart and ask for suggestions from the people involved? A solution just might present itself.
56413
been there, done that.  your asking for a lot of grief.  just the age situation with the children is a burdon, not to mention the difference between your "going to be" and you.  you yourself said your not mature enough to make a decision...let that alone be a guide for you.  first time marrages are tough enough these days, let alone the second time around ones.  i have had experiance with taking on "the others" kids and it is very difficult to relate to them, win them over, have commonalities with them and just simply get close to them.  and if they are close to you in age i'd think there would be little for them to look up to.  kids are hard to win over when your trying to "replace" their mom or pop.  I'd think hard on this one before I jumped into the fire.  good luck.
342371
I would ask him if I was such a terrible mother then why did you invite me over for brunch?  None of us are perfect, so why has he waited so long to suddenly tell you this, if it was so bad?  Can he give examples of why he thinks this?  Does he have a wife that doesn't like you and has finally worn him down?  That is really wierd, I am sorry your son is treating you that way.  Parenting is a system of trial and error and all we can do is try our best and how would he feel if his kids said something like that to him?  There is no reason to cause conflict especially when you are a grandparent and he needs to show his kids how to respect their elders, this is not a situation where you can take a do as I say not as I do approach.  You can set the example and take the higher road!
88819
I've been through this when I provided daycare from my home. I gave copies of my policy to each parent and also printed out a schedule, and had good references. I had an open door policy for the parents to visit anytime---and encouraged them to do so. I think it's great to have the parents visit, that helps build trust. It's normal for the parents to be concerned, you should be more worried about the parents who aren't concerned. Let the mom hang out awhile, it won't take her long before she realizes her child will be just fine!\nGood luck!
650314
Sounds like you need some "me" time! Do something by yourself or just with your children. You need to clear you mind and find out what you want and what is best for those children.
562628
How old are the kids? If they are old enough to talk to and understand you are busy and need them to stay at home then by all means talk to them. If not then the parents need to control them better. If this isn't working then I would suggest you talk to the kids and explain that maybe if they don't bother you for a while then they could come to visit for a hour. The kids must like you to want to come over so much so this may work if they think you will pay attention to them for an hour. If this doesn't work then make sure your doors are always locked.. Good Luck