I feel most guys think and evening spent at bars with their buddies is considered dates.  What ever happened to chivalry and the old-fashioned "I'll pick you up at 8" and have it be just the two of you???
134943
i think because women have made it to easy for them (easy sex, on demand when they want us, etc,) we demand nothing and settle for anything\nwe allow this kind of behavior YES I have allowed this kind of stupid behavior and found myself hanging with a guy and his stupid friends we have to demand more, expect more, and not settle for stupidness
204002
No, I think you are being realistic.  I think intelligent men probably hang out at bars and stuff too, but they probably aren't as brash and stand out like the others.  They are probably more low-keyed.  One way of possibly meeting some is thru your friends and family.  Hopefully, they would be a good judge of character for you.
467827
No I am not going out tonight. I am trying to get in touch with a certain gentleman but for some reason I always miss him.  Maybe I'll get lucky tonight. ;)
7932
I always hate it when a guy walks up and gives a pick-up line, whether it's cute or not. Just try to be natural. The guy who approached me in a bar that I will remember forever gave me a simple, "I saw you and wanted to come over and say hi." and then preceeded to ask me questions about myself. It was flatering that he wanted to talk to me, but he didn't try to hard or wasn't cheesy.\n\nBerbbb: Actually, the reason that I will remember the instances so well is because that guy is actually the father of my child:) We did date for about 2 years.
245205
Old fashioned values are great and I would love to see them continue on.  But, there is such a fine line anymore.  Some women seem to want to get away from those values some and take charge more.  I think that is great too.  I think it all boils down to getting to go out with the person that you like.
625491
I know for a fact that not all guys in a bar are scum. I was a stripper for 4 years. I recently quit due to back problems, but I still keep in touch with alot of my regulars because we became real good friends. I am married, so nothing nasty. \nYou just have to be careful because there are some scumbags out there.
636084
I have quite a few bad date stories.  But the one that takes the cake was the first guy I dated after my divorce 3 years ago.  I decided to be proactive and try the online dating format.  I corresponded with this guy for about a week and he asked me out.  I had not seen a photo (bad move on my part) but agreed to dinner. When I called him to confirm our date I got this really odd voice mail message that made reference to some obscure bible passage.  Now, please understand that I'm not what you would call religious.  My profile clearly referenced my musical tastes and what you would call "new age" interests  While I thought the voicemail thing a bit odd, I tried to maintain a positive attitude so we set up a time for us to go out.  The next night he picked me up at a friend's house and showed up in a mini-van.  Immediately, my reaction was "omg, this is not good".  I walked out to meet him at his vehicle and the inside looked like he lived in it...fast food remnants, sporting goods, etc.I knew this was no love connection but I tried to be a good sport and at least make it through dinner.  We went to a local restaurant where he started to spout off his very fundamentalist religious rhetoric.  He told me that "the government" has already developed "mobile execution stations", I think he meant that these are like the emissons testing vehicles but more sinister.  Basically he said that the end of the world is coming and people who refuse to have a bar code/mark of the beast would be executed.  He leaned into me and serious as a heart attack says "so, what are you going to do on judgement day?  Are you going to take the mark of the beast?" Needless to say "mark of the beast" is looking more appealing by the moment.  At this point, I'm thinking that this date can't get worse...but low and behold it got much worse.  There was a large group of people adjacent to us at this restaurant and were obviously celebrating a child's birthday.  There were helium balloons all over their table.  My date summons the waitress with whom he had been relentlessly flirting with and says "can I ask you a favor"?  Immediately I put two and two together and started praying "god please don't let him do what I think he is about to do"!  You guessed it...he procured a balloon and managed to suck helium and do his best Alvin and the Chipmunks impression.  I started inhaling my dinner in the hopes of getting out of there ASAP.  He managed to get the attention of the entire restaurant and then asked me out again for the next night.  I told him my to take me home and politely declined further dates.  After this fiasco I realized that dating takes a lot or work and a lot of humor.  I started giving my dates silly little nicknames.  This guy was affectionately called "Jesus Boy" by me and my friends.  This was one of many frogs I had to kiss.  Some of the others were "college professor guy whose kitchen looked like a nuclear waste dump",  "Yoga instructor that looked like Yoda" and "transvestite dude" (you figure that one out)! and countless other potential suitors.  I'm happy to say that I finally did manage to find a great guy and we both like to laugh about my very laughable dating exploits!
153829
Ohhh this is the same thing I used to do.  I think it begins with men being a huge priority in life.  Do more with your friends! I bet you don't hang out with friends when you're with a guy.  Do a Friday date, and Saturday with girls. Take up a hobby, take your mind off of men. \n\nMost times after I used to have a date, less than a day would pass before we talked again, and I just seemed to click so well with everyone, I moved from one serious relationship to another.  Have this new mantra: "I am only going out to have fun. I am not looking for anything but a nice evening tonight." Set yourself some rules; don't let yourself get too comfortable with them. Make sure not to tell them everything about you in the first couple dates, and let at least 3-4 days pass between dates.  Going to each other's house is also very personal, make the first couple weeks dates "out".  Don't get too comfortable, don't get too close.  Be more picky.
244304
That's bull.  You can date as many guys as you can handle.  My friend used to date as many as 8 guys and even squeeze in an extra 5 if space permitted in her calendar.
28450
Haha!  It's good to be back - computer was down for a few days.  Well.. I'm not a guy, (obviously), but unless things go REALLY well on a date it's a turn-off when the guy is all over you.  You've got to conquer the gettin-to-know-you before you jump on that.  So if it's a REALLY good date then you did get to know each other and it's okay to fall into that animal instinct.  If you're like 99% of the guys out there then maybe it is a good idea to relieve your stress before the date.  You may not get the urge to, er, be selfish on the date, and that will tell the girl that you respect her.  Also - it might give that first impression that you're a laid back bad-a*s type that most of the ladies can't resist.  So yeah - I think it is a good idea!  HA!
369091
He's trying to get laid.\n\n"Date" is a relative term.
348138
Yes it happened to me.  I had not seen my friend for 20 some years.  She had a date that night.  The date kirk showed up and took my friend Alice and me to a nice restaurant.  After we went to a club.  He was drinking heavily and when she went to the ladies room or to talk to some different friends he tried to put the make on me and I was not going for it.  Finally I had my gut full and took the pitcher of beer and poured it all over his head then I walked out the door.  I got a hotel room.  The next morning I called her and said I was coming to get my suitcases.  I did and she started questioning me and I said I would tell her later on.... I then went to another friends home and her entertainment was Great!
308017
NOT in a bar, any more than heterosexuals looking for LTRs. You aren't that different from the rest of us. Bars are for one-night stands.\n\nTry one of the three churches that won't stone you to death for being "possesed by the devil" - MCC, Congregationalsist, Unitarian-Universalists.\n\nWork on a gay rights political committee.\n\nWork for a straight politician with the balls to admit you guys are human and stand up against the right-wing crazies.\n\nTake it slow, obviously. It's harder for you than for the straights; all anyone in a gym, sierra club hike, book group or night class who asks a lady for lunch risks is a turn-down. You can spoil a casual friendship fast by asking someone out if they don't play in your league.
628550
Wow four dudes, nice! go on a date with all of them, doesn't have to be dinner and stuff, could just be a lunch, get to know them, don't promise any of them anything and don't sleep with them, just keep it casual and get to know them till you decide which one you like the most..have fun :)
582507
I believe that the true gentlemen have not all died and gone. I believe that a lot of men are intimidated by the idea of  a liberated woman. I feel that we can talk our men into most anything. Why not talk him into being more of a gentleman. He wasn't passing gas and scratching while he was dating you and taking you out, or was he. In that case, you knew what you were getting. In the other case, ask him to bring that guy back that you were dating and fell in love with. If this is a first date for you, demand that he do gentlemanly things. We blow it because we have sex on the first date and men think we aren't worthy of affection and the chivalrous behavior of gentlemen from back in the day. We are strong and quick to move. Be still, wait for him to open the door before you just snatch it open, wait for him to pull out your chair. It will be hard for him to have dinner with a woman who is still in the car, or better yet standing next to the table at the restaurant. We mustn't forget that a lot of today's men have no idea what this chivalry is, so if we want it, we have to in some cases teach it and in all cases demand it. Respect yourself and the gentleman will act accordingly. In the field of Mental Health, we say that we should tell the kids what we want from them not what we don't want. The same applies here. Tell him that you want hin to be more of a gentleman instead of assuming that he's just an ass. If that is how you see him, that is the behavior you will get. I see my man as a gentleman and he never opened doors for me until we talked about it and then just recently while we were out, i noticed that he rushed to the door to open it for me. It's a process and it has to start somewhere, why not with you. \n\nClarissa\nSylva, NC
645510
For most people, going out is a way to become acquainted. You meet, you share a meal or movie or other amusement, and see if there's compatibility to explore. Of course, there's gonna be some people who view going out as an invitation to the bedroom. It's always a good idea to just express what you expect and want from your date. When you get to your doorstep, tell your date you had a nice time and head inside if you don't want anything further to happen. If you'd like to go out again, that's a good time to say, "This was fun! Would you like to go out again next Monday?" If you want it to become more intimate, invite your date inside for a drink and conversation. After 2-3 dates, you can open the discussion about something more serious. When you both agree that you are BF/GF, then it's official, but that can't happen without conversation. Don't assume. Discuss your relationship.\n\nBest wishes,\n~Tia~
620046
That's wierd I say it's time you guys had a serious talk. He sounds like a jerk. I mean I'm totally for guys not inviting their gfs along in order to have alone time to party with their friends but a birthday celebration (ESPECIALLY his own is hardly the time to do this) Unless there were strippers involved and even if that were the case u guys still need to have that talk.