I feel like since me and my husband had our son that I've become trapped in the house. I feel like its always the same thing day in and day out. How can I change things up a bit so i dont feel this way???
136397
Find a way for you and your husband to go out.  Don't go out alone all the time because that may lead to temptation.  You will regret not finding a place for yourself in your own life.
546648
What you are feeling is perfectly normal for a person of your age. There would be something a little wrong if you didn't feel that way. The time will come soon enough. finish school, or you will have a lifetime of regrets over leaving now. You have no idea how lucky you are. I wish I had that kind of set up when I was your age. some of us run out of the house years too early for reasons of our own.\n\nI think you need a wild vacation, but a safe one. You will come back with a new perspective. Treat yourself to something different.
345747
Well, you have already nailed it pretty well, and under the circumstances you are doing a whale of a lot better managing this that I ever would! You're further ahead of the game than you realize. You are also tired and need a breather. You need to schedule some down time for just you. You are the one that is important here. And self care is job one. Always. You have been ambushed, so when that happens you always step back and regroup. And the best way to self care your way through this one is to be by or hang around yourself a little more. Find your center once again. Centering. A wonderful concept. And correct, too, on every level. Diet, bubble baths, rest, fresh air, cleaning your bedroom, checking your wardrobe and getting free of old stuff you will never wear again - in other words, spend a little time reinventing yourself. You are already pretty strong because you have a good mind with which to sort out all this foolishness and get your bearings, but the unfortunate truth in life is that when we are tired, anyone can take a whack at us and it is like they could blow us over with a feather. You can feel that sensitive, and it is because you are smart, really. It is the downside of being smart. You can be too sensitive. So when you find your center once again you will also find more strength to call this what it is: abuse. Others here on Yahoo! Answers are giving you some fine answers about actions you can take, but I am focusing solely on you taking care of you. Self care. Make more time to pamper yourself and start feeling good about who you really are, because look at what you are doing here: you are  working on your degree. I mean, my God, all this other chaff is just fuel. Be very alert and see it for what it is - a prime distraction and begin - just begin, to look for a better place to bring yourself for work. That does not, fortunately, need to be put in place before the end of the week. If worse comes to worse, you can just walk away. A social worker once told me, "Chris, sometimes all you can do is walk away." I never forgot that one. Under most circumstances, I get the impression you are normally extremely self-reliant and independent of mind, so it is probably just because this whole mess has worn you down a bit that feeling it is a lilttle rough on you right now. I am sending you good energies and my heart goes out to you hoping you find the perspective to see the bigger picture and put you back into it in the dignified and self-respecting way you rightly deserve. Get your self-esteem back intact and believe in who you really are. And for God's sake, get some rest. None of us thinks well when we are exhausted. The other thing is emotionally draining, and only time will heal that one.  God Bless You, too.     - Chris.
123847
I have this.. And it's hard at times.. My family doesnt understand what casues it to happen, so I dont tell them a lot of it..\n\nSit down.. Make a list of the things that you Obsesive about.. And make a list why you feel this needs to be done..\n\nKeep adding to the list as you go.. When you are done making a list, read it over again out loud.. (Alone) \n\nList should be kinda like this..\n\n*Check doors of house to make sure they are locked! I check them 5 times before I go to bed.. Why do I need to check them so many times.. I feel that I forget that they are locked, or that I need to make sure I feel safe when I am sleeping.. How can I help check the doors less... \n\nI made a list to check off all the things that I do in a day. And make it so I can check my list when I head to bed. After I have checked my list off, and got in bed, I read my list, to make sure that I remember I did them, and that they are done.. Then I put the list down and go to sleep.. During the night if I wake up worrying about something, I read my list..\n\nThis has helped me over come many things that I do, and or have done in the past..
363035
I completely understand how you feel.  I hate being anywhere but home, it is an uncomfortable, anxious nagging want to escape pressure that you have to control and act like you don't feel.\n\nTell your husband, and his family you have other plans.  I say tell his family so he does not try to explain in a way they will not understand.  Maybe going every other time will make it easier for you to deal with.  Tell them you just need sometime to work on things at home...like your peace of mind, yeah, don't tell them that part. :))
592269
Sweetie, welcome to the real world. I feel like I am on lock-down as you put it b/c I am 51 years old, have had to go back to work full-time after raising my kids, just when I'd LOVE to settle down and be able to put my feet up and rest. Why? So I can afford to send said kids to college, to help with their room and board, their vehicles and insurance, to pay for our house, to have health insurance so that if something happens to me they won't have to interrupt their lives to take care of me.\n\nThey didn't ask to be born, I brought them into this world. I made a good life for them, and gave them a great start to it. All I asked in return was that they respect themselves and value themselves and try to do their best to be successful. Not for me, but for the best lives they ultimately can have. I have supported them and stood behind them the whole way. Sometimes this meant I had to discipline them & not let them do whatever they felt like b/c kids don't always know what is truly best for them. Being a good parent means that sometimes you aren't going to win any popularity contests, but at least your beloved child will still be alive and well to glare at you with hatred.LOL.\n\nAnyway, my point is, that the lockdown and bondage is a real fact of life. It is a function of taking responsibility for your own actions and it is a result of caring about more than just the present moment. If you care about the future, and you care about those who love you, it creates a real and definite responsibility that has an actual weight to it.\n\nYou can still have fun. Just don't hurt yourself or anyone who loves you doing so.
372861
i think you need to start helping around the house a bit more, there probably holding a grudge at doing all the work for you wen your old enough to do it by yourself, that should improve things between you and your sister, make an effort with her boyfriend, maybe suggest the family do something together, e.g go for a meal, bowling, ice skating, cinema, laser quazer something fun and that you dont do every day.\nand i know this sounds weird are you on medication? only i was on medication ant it made me well depressed and fornd it hard to cheer up, it wasnt until i came off that my mood lifted and felt like the weight of the world had been lifted off my shoulders, if you are then i'd suggest seeing your doctor for alternatives.\ngood luck
337323
Moving back to your hometown can be hard after you've been out in the "real" world.  Many people associate home with certain things - like childhood, which can cause them to feel they aren't accomplishing what they should be.  \nIf you feel that these feelings you have aren't because of him and it's because of moving back home - you might try talking to a trusted friend or counselor to help you sort it out.\nEither way you should talk to him and tell him what you are going through right now, so that he knows you aren't trying to pull away from him or that you aren't unhappy with him.  \nAnother idea would be to maybe move a bit further away from "home" - like 30mins, close enough to everything but far enough away so you feel you have your own life.
605231
try to focuse on ur home try to spend ur time in making the house cleaner try to make food decoriate ur house think that thier is no preson will care about u that mush expet ur husband try to have a baby thise will give the feeling that ur husband is every thing in ur live and good luck
523914
I was in a similar situation where I lived with my wife's family for a while before we got married.  Her parents are amazing, but her brothers were the laziest bunch of a**es I'd ever laid eyes on.  I was the only person cleaning the house, mowing the lawn, shovelling the snow, washing the dishes, etc, etc.  When in their house, I always felt that being the outsider, it was an obligation of mine to help out whenever possible.  \n\nIt's tough to say in your situation as you don't mention where the problems are coming from.  My wife was always worried that I would leave her because of her family, but I told her that I was with her because of her, and that her family would not change my mind, no matter how frustrated / angry they made me.  We moved out of the house shortly after the wedding and I was much happier for it.\n\nMaybe your bf feels that he has no privacy, is trapped in a situation where everything he does gets scrutinized, and can't really relax or be himself.  When I go home, I want to sit back and do anything I want, but being in someone else's house just doesn't give me the flexibility to do that.\n\nYou need to talk to him and see what he is thinking.  If you don't know why he's upset/unhappy, you need to find out.  Maybe moving out is the only way to change things for him.  It did me and my wife wonders.
441610
This is all very normal. I have three kids. Try to find a babysitter. Family or Friends and get some down time. Go out with your friends. A mini vacation on the weekend. You need to get out and get loose and vent a little with your friends. It wll do you a world of wonder.\n\nGood Luck!
361968
I'm sorry for you.   I'm going thru something similar, but with 20 years together.  You might never have a reason why this happened.   I've found accepting that I can't MAKE him give me an answer or tell me the truth takes away a lot of the stress.  \n\nThere must be some little things that are better with him gone, though.   Something as small as having your room the way you like it now.   You may never stop loving him, but you will move on.  If you don't, you're wasting the life you have left!   There's so much more to do and see yet.   \n\nStrengthen you relationship with your kids (if you have any), and with your friends.   If you don't have friends, get out and do something you love and you'll meet some new ones.  \n\nI don't know how longs it's been for you, but at 2.5 month for me I can say that I'm really happy most of the time.   I couldn't have imagined that only a few weeks ago!\n\nGood luck to you, and don't stay home or in bed all day!  Force yourself to get out and do things or go places
650621
My word.  That is a lot of people and stress.   Is it possible for you to move into a place away or maybe down the road form your relatives, just to get you out of the chaos?  There are usually places that offer low/reduced rent for fixed incomes.   Maybe your children can do things to help around the house so when you come home you have some peace and don't feel like you have to race around and clean, cook, do laundry etc.  Good luck.
431685
Hello:\n\nI would suggest that you are feeling depressed because you are dealing with a lot of stress and you have very little support in your life right now. \n\nI can't imagine how difficult it must be for you to have to deal with a divorce, and living so far apart from your child, on top of that dealing with a new job. \n\nIt is understandable that these feelings intensified on Thanksgiving, which is a holiday typically spent with family. \n\nI would suggest to you to start getting involved in the community. Volunteer at local organizations, join other local groups (besides the singles group) like a recreational sports team. These are easy ways to meet people and to develop friendships. Maybe there is even a local women's support group for divorced women?\n\nOnce you have some friendships, those people will be able to help you when you are feeling down. It also might help to see a therapist, to have someone to talk about these issues too. There was a point in my life when I was having a very difficult time dealing with stress, and I went to see a therapist every week for a few months. Just being able to talk about certain emotions I had made me feel so much happier and relieved, and I would suggest this to anyone who simply needs someone to talk to.\n\nI hope this helps, and good luck. Things will get better.
36956
If you're miserable in your marriage and you have tried unsuccessfully to work things out with your husband then there is only one thing you can do--SHOW HIM THE DOOR.  Trust me...I was in a dead-end marriage and was totally miserable.  The only reason I stayed in the marriage as long as I did was for the kids. But now I look back at it and realize that I should have left him long before we even got married, because there were signs there that things weren't going to be right.\n\nSo many times us women think if we just stick things out things will change, or even we can change the man.  But sadly that doesn't happen, and for you to stay in a marriage\nwhere you feel alone is only going to hurt you.  Life is short--you deserve to be happy and feel loved and like you have a partner in your relationship.\n\nRegarding your previous split with your husband, it sounds like he was almost over-doing it in fear of losing you.  It shouldn't take the fear of losing you to make him treat you like his wife.  Cut him loose, and when he comes a wooing tell him "Sorry, you had your chance."  Then get out there and find you a good man.  You'll be glad you did.
39926
Take this from my experience.  Move out and let yourself heal and your children too.  You will be lonley, but the time alone will allow you to think of what you really want and it take this time to spend with your children. You need to take care of YOU and your Kids most.
643640
Yea it kind of went like that in my house too and I was the baby, I just ignored it and went about my business at least I didn't have the pressure of impressing or being someone or something I didn't want to be.  Honestly I think it's made me a better person than him why because I know the meaning of independence and how it works unlike him who needs mommy for everything.