And I think I truly love him. He did a lot for me and he also didnt do a lot for me. Anyways he loved me and my children and my children loved him too. Very much so. Anyways I ended up pregnant because I thought he was going to get probation so we planned on having a child and getting married. Anyways i tried to bail him out of jail for a second time but there was a hold on him for a warrant in another state for a felony in robbery. So who knows how long now before he will get out and I am scared and alone single mother pregnant with two kids. I cannot stop crying and dont know what to do.My oldest would hate me forever if I had another child and I am scared I wouldnt be able to afford another one either. What do i do???? Please be kind I am a good person and just trusted and loved this person very very much. He is a very sad man and I believe he got into trouble because he isn't completely stable mentally is there any way to help him? Or me? Or what do i do?
135078
get a good legal team
597116
First of all you don't mention your age but one must assume that you are over 18 at least. Is this child from him or from another man? Don't bother with a restraining order because they are only as good a the law enforcement in your town. There have been a number of women killed by boyfriends after they have a restraining order placed. Take No. 2's advise. Get the heck out of Dodge or where ever you live and do it quick. Don't let anyone know where you are that can tell HIM! It is for your safty as well as that of your daughter. The man is a psyciopath and you should make a report to the local police before you leave. It is a crime to threaten someone else with bodily injury. Not to mention that he has said that he will will have your daughter KILLED. At least the law enforcement will be on the look out. Once you have moved away use your mothers maiden name because you can do that legaly. Don't list your phone number either. Just initials and no address. If it were me I'd move to a different state. I would put as much distence between him and me as I could. It may be hard at first but you will be alive and well. If you stay it may take him months to do what he says he is going to do but trust me he will eventually do it and then it will be too late. Men that talk that way usually do so to intimidate, but then they need more power over you and they start to do things physicaly to the people they say they will hurt. Talk to the law or the DA in your town and they may be able to give you more advise. No matter weather you take my advise or theirs PLEASE take your own advise and get out of there. Hope this helps and may God watch over you and your daughter. Be Safe If you need to talk to someone email me at Whilemom47@yahoo.com
473709
Oh my gosh......somewhere down the line......my exes must have mated! The first was a raging drunk and the second the porn king. I left my first and never downed him in front of my kids.........but as life goes on and they get older they will see the mother and father for what they truly are. If you care about your child You will not live with a drunk! Wait, and I hope you don't........until your child is standing with a phone in his hand as you scream, "Please call the Police." While daddy is holding your arm behind your back and hollering, "Do it I dare you, cause if u do i will crush her arm and then they will really have a reason to be here." I swear to you as I type this I am shaking remembering all those years ago. I can't tell you what to do...........but for your child's sake.....please....seek help....please don't ever let this happen to your child because I swear.........no matter how you try to cover it up..........they always remember and so will you.........and so far as the porn.......you will never ever get over feeling like your 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 5th..........100th best..I can't tell you there are no words I have for you that can tell you what you will have to go thru. Your man is the two men i was married to in one. I wish I could change the course of your life. I mean this from the bottom of my heart...seek help...and listen...learn...and don't become a victim. I'm almost 50 and refuse to date...because of what i have been throught. Don't make my mistake...care enough about you and your child to know that you  deserve better. Because the man who love so much right now will become you biggest nightmare....it a short few years.........please.......I know i sound crazy...but seek help, break the cycle before your child...starts a new one with someone else....
507476
Huh....you sure you're in love?  It's going to be tough being alone while he serves time...and he seems aware of that fact.  That's a big sacrifice--waiting for him I mean.  If you chose that route--best of luck to you.  But even if you don't decide to wait it out--you could still be supportive by communicating with him while he's incarcerated.  Life with a convicted felon is not going to be easy after he serves time either--and your options will be limited because of it.  Just be aware of the sacrifices required to remain with this person.  It sounds like you'll have lots of time to make up your mind.  Find a support group that can assist you.  Good Luck
472639
if you love and respect this guy you will hold off on this.  honor him for his respect of the law and of not wanting to put himself in a position to end up in jail. i understand you have feelings that are strong but imagine what you would feel like if he got locked up and made to register as a sex offender. i can assure you that if you two had to deal with those issues you would have gladly waited. i know its hard but hang in there, and know that before you know it you will be of legal age and the wait will be worth it!
505937
I am so sorry that you and your children have to deal with this man. I was married to a sociopath/narcissist man for 15 years. I thought I was going crazy. I've heard that the way to handle custody issues with a sociopath is to not let them know that they are upsetting you, they get some kind of thrill from hurting people who are wise to them. You've become a threat. Remember, to them, they are never wrong. They will never admit defeat. Know in your heart that a sociopath won't want to be tied down with the responsibilities of raising children. Their need for thrills is too strong and he will sabotage himself because they never learn from their mistakes. Try not to show how much he upsets you. There are a lot of resouses out there who can help you. Call the local mental health facility because you'll likely need support. I know that I've benefited from information about how they think; I have a hard time understanding it though. I've learned that I just have to accept the way they are and to keep my distance. They are their own worse enemy. A counselor would likely be helpful for you and your children. I wish you all they luck and lots of prayers. Be thankful that you saw who you were dealing with when you did!
6881
It sounds like you do love this man but the old saying is good here.. "If mom isn't happy no one else is"  Yes I will be truly hard to start by yourself but I did it after I left a man that pushed me around and called me names and pretty much just made me feel like a piece of trash.  I have 2 children and I found a man the loves and respects me and my children.  I understand that love is hard to past especially when you have children involed. But you need to be strong. not just for yourself but for the children too. It is hard but you are a woman and just tell yourself when he comes around and tries to get you in his little trap "I am a woman strong and hear me roar" just keep telling your self that when he is around and hopefully you will be strong enough to stay out of the trap. I believe ppl change but at the same time the little pushing he does on you is just the first sign of abuse and with him doing mental abuse too it won't be long before it is so bad to where you are too scared to leave and if you need help there is so many places that have woman there to help you in your problems and I agree with you about counseling I don't see him going. I just feel that staying away from him is the best thing you can do for you and your children. And about him coming to see the children well you can have someone else there with you while he visits with the children he  has come to see them not you and make that clear to him. I think you can be strong and stronger then him if you have someone in your corner with you. Even just a friend or sibbling. Here is a website for you and there you can learn some things good luck and I wish you all the best.
584208
fight him,  get a lawyer and fight him all the way.....\nGet family and friends to go to court with you.........\nTell "no lies"  (they always find out)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!\nLet the courts know you went  through post-par-tom depression when they were born.  Giving him custody,,,,  But you went through treatment and your better now (have your doctor or counselor testify for you, saying your healed) !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!\nYour kids should be with you and they should see you are a good mother for giving them up when you were sick, but now your better and want them back where they belong.....
332381
We can't answer that for you.  Your primary concern should be your daughter, so concentrate on that.  You were a witness to the event, you need to make a judgement call.  The fact that you are having doubts about his character (wondering if he's a pedophile) make me think there must be more to this story.  If you seriously think this is possible, maybe you need to end the relationship. And if you choose not to, don't you dare leave your daughter alone with him!
504396
Call the Courts of whatever city he is in....I think you should not listen to these other people saying you should not marry someone in Jail.....You cant help whom you love and if you feel you love this person no matter what then do whatever it takes to marry him!  When you are in love you will always love that perosn.....Unconditionally!   I hope you figure out how to marry him!  Hes lucky to have his girlfriend out there supporting him, trying to make you two "one".....Let me know how everything works out!  And Good Luck!
273556
I would have him investigated. Seriously talk to people who really know him. Maybe he's just trying to ease his guilt of being a deadbeat dad for 7 yrs. What ever his intentions are he is not doing it for your child. I've never seen a child that could not sense good intentions in an adult, they are very perceptive. Your right in being concerned. Talk to your attorney. about keeping him away...and I would not put his name on her  birth certificate. That is something she will have her whole life. Doesn't sound like she would like to see his name anywhere near hers.
344270
omg, i'm so sorry for you. it made me cry just to think about. at first i thought you were talking about telling your BF that you love him before he dumps you, but then the word 'murdered' just sort of jumped out at me. i've never had anything like that happen to me before, but i can guess how you must feel. i wanted to tell my bf that i love him, but i was scared, and now its too late, and he broke up with me...\n\nI'm really sorry. I hope he rots in jail. Sorry.
590126
I know this will be the hardest thing for you to do, but you need to let go of this person. He sounds like he can't commit, and he would be a lousy father. You also need to let go of the idea that he is going to change, or that you two will spend your life together. \nYou need to turn to your friends and family for support and strength now. You need to focus and take care of yourself and your child.\nDon't waste anymore time on this person. There is someone out there who will love you and be there for you the way you deserve (and yes, you deserve to be treated well and lovingly). But you won't meet him until you have your life together and have moved on.
534893
This is tragic.\n\nI am very sorry for what has happened.\n\nI feel frankly that you probably should go back with your momma. Your husband is being silly and throwing away a good woman. Moving your life is hard and he didn't seem to realize that not everyone can just pack up and leave. You were sick as well, so how dare he?\n\nIsn't he supposed to respect and love you? You have held your end of the bargan. He has failed with his. I would definatly move back with momma and divorce him. If he isn't willing to work it out and cheats...there really is little hope.
639843
That's the saddest thing i've ever heard. I'm sorry to tell you this, but your life is at risk. I know you love him, and you think he will change. He won't. People who are like that won't ever change. He needs to go to anger management or something to help him deal with his problems.Think about you and the baby. You can't be with him. Once the baby gets older, what if he hits the boy too? now both of you will be hurt.  Talk to a family member. Talk to somebody. But I warn you, don't talk to him about anger managment or something alone. Have a few friends there, so that he can't hit you, and if he does, then you're friends can help you. You may love him, but you can't love sombody who doesn't love you. Think about that. Take my advice.\n\nYou have my sympothy\nand my prayers\nGood luck,\nbe safe\nand be happy.
445641
Hi TaTa,   I hate to see you get hurt,but this guy is a player.He only cares about hisself and his needs.You will never be happy with this jerk. The problem is you cannot ever trust him again. Without trust you don't have a relationship.Besides that he will do it again and again. Kick his sorry A S S to the hurb, and find you a man who will treat you, and your baby with respect,trust and a caring man.You deserve alot better than your getting from the jerk. I'm wishing you and your baby all the luck and have a happy life. A Friend.\n\n  Clowmy
318514
i dont think its your problem man. i know he's your kid and you're concerned for him, but if he's 30 and cant get his crap straight, i dont know what you can really do for him. he's going to need to be willing to start at the bottom. like, rock bottom, working at wendy's or something. but, thats better than going back to jail.