My  17 yr old friend found out she is pregnant.  She asked my advice on what she should do. She claims she is not ready to become a mother, I know this is a situation that should be handled gently, what should I say to her?
119413
I had an abortion when I was 28 and it was the worst decision I've ever made.  I didn't regret it until it was over and then I had severe depression and problems in my future relationships because I couldn't forgive myself.   I'd encourage your friend to talk to her parents.   Believe it or not, there are other options out there.   Tell her to have faith - and good luck.
263251
First off- This girl is using you as a stepping stone. SHe probably WANTED to have a baby with this person, and now, here she is- that plan hasn't made her happy...so she's saying that you- and your family- will make her happy? What about this baby? WHat about what's RIGHT for this child that she's going to drag all over pillar and post everytime "happily ever after" doesn't measure up to her expectations? Perhaps someone should think about the best interest of this child's happily ever after. Stop interfering in this woman/girl's life and offering her solutions that sound selfish and uncaring. She is someone's mother- not just someone's girlfriend anymore. And, for the record, you don't sound so bright yourself, so, before you assume the role of step parent, perhaps you should get an education, as well. Do yourself a favor- and the baby. Get an education, and find a loving family to help raise that baby. Neither one of you sound like good role models. Life is not about a daily monitor on a happy-o-meter. Someone please give this child a better opportunity for a good life. Not a momma who will bounce from one bed to another pending the color of sheets that make her happy...
91295
There is nothing you can do really. It is her decision. I feel for you. I'm in a similar situation myself. She has to keep things as pain free and natural as she can for the sake of her children. Maybe you should talk to her about this and possibly come to a decision yourselves???\n\nGood luck
72502
maybe she is a hypochondriac and wants the attention to be focused on her and see's this as the only way to gain every ones attention as well as sympathy. She is probally has low self esteem or depressed about some thing. i had this friend who said she was pregnant and didnt know who the dad was. this was untrue. then one of my other friends copied her and said she was pregnant and even pretended to go get an abortion. which again was untrue. i didnt know why they did this but it must have ben because they wanted the attention. im not frined with them any more tho because of reasons. hope that answered ur question. good luck.
370328
I have to try to help u, will go to the abortion issue later, 1st about the getting married, I also got married at 18, we were together all thru high school, I did just what u r going to do, but that is many yrs. ago wish I was 18 again!! Please dont make my mistake, I ended up staying married to him for 18yrs. I was so unhappy, that is a long story, but the bottom line is I did finally get a divorce, why look back now. What I ask u to do is ask yourself and be honest to yourself, why r u wanting to get married so fast? Please when u read this understand this is no judgement against your boyfriend, I want u to just sit by yourself and really give this thought, it took me yrs. to be honest with myself, I was finnally honest and my answer was I wanted to leave home, my father was a alcholic, I wanted also to be taken care of, even though I worked, I  just had to show everyone how grown up I was, needless to say he was not the same after we married, and as the yrs. went on seemed he was still thinking and treating me as if I were still a teenager! Please u and your boyfriend talk and ask each other if its real love why not just wait, your together anyway, but r u so sure or would just a 6 month wait help u both to be sure, I just want u both to be happy, wish I had been given advice, even if u dont wait at least I hope u r sure, remember I was 18 at one time to, hell never even thought or knew how fast time goes by! Whatever you and him decide I wish u both the best and my blessing, as for the abortion u cannot look back now, and believe me no one has the right to judge u, my situation was different but I had to have a abortion, my 2nd husband and I have been married 13 yrs now,happy yrs. and I became pregnant our 1st yr. but come to find out I had a tumor that made having a baby dangerous, I know what a abortion is, scary and of course sad no matter what the circumstance, I also have a friend since 7th grade and her parents made her have a abortion so in a way I know how u must feel, if its anything like my friend, she was a mess, and bitter with her parents, I can only imagine how scary it must be to be in a abortion clinic at such a young age,and against your will! It makes me sad to think of it, you went thru hell and o thers dont have a clue, unless they have been there! But dont worry u just like my dear friend will when its the right time have a beautiful healthy baby, and I just know u will be the best mom! By the way that friend I told u about was only 14 at the time, she stayed with her boyfriend and they were married at the age of 20 and this yr will be their 30th anniversary!! See were old now!!! Big 50!!LOL, and they have 2 wonderful sons, and now a grandbaby!!! All will go well for u just make sure u r doing what is right for u!! If u do get married now, please take at least a yr.before having your baby, that way u have time to enjoy each other, and be more stable. Once u have a baby believe me its a whole new life, dont take this wrong I loved having my daughter, the feeling was like oh what a miracle!!! But u have so many changes remember u and your husband will be responsible for a new life!!! Now thats amazing when u look at it that way! You will want more for your child than u had we as good parents do, remember the most precious gift u will ever give your child no matter how old he or she is will always be your love,time, and support,and beyond even that make sure your child can always come to u and talk, I wish I could have with my parents, but I never could! My daughter always could and still does and I cant believe she is 30 see what I mean how fast time goes by!!! I have a grandson so I have been blessed again! Bless u and do whats in your heart, but give my words some thought, wish u the best in life!!
145493
PLEASE READ THIS MESSAGE:\nMiss.T,I dont think its such a great idea 2 be friends with your daughter because after awhile,they will look at you only as their friend and not as their parent.Im 18 years old & I thank my mother every chance I get because I graduated from high school when I was 16 without her trying to be my friend,although she most definently is'nt my enemy.Yeah my mother was a good friend of mine,but she knew when and where the limits were...she knew she had 2 be a mother 85% of the time with me;and a friend 15% of the time.Put it this way...if you need your bills to be paid and you cant call on your friend(your daughter),then you shouldnt try 2 hard to please her as a friend as much as a mother.If your daughter has a good head on her shoulder,then she will appreciate how good you are trying to be with her;whether you want to be her friend or not.She will thank u in the future if you be more of a mother to her than a friend;because trust me...Im sure she has enough people trying to be her friend....Love Always;misslady2205
153383
My dear Sarah, how can she get pregnant with a pillow?  Don't worry, it's just a phase, she will get over it.  She is just experiencing feeling for the first time and they are over whelming her.  Let her be or educate her properly about sex.  This is nothing to worry about.  Every person whether male or female, goes through puberty.  It's no big deal.  I bet you did it too, just didn't have a nosy older sister spying on you.  (I don't mean to be rude, but it's hard not to be sarcastic.  Sorry)
327589
My darlin' ,life, and growing up are full of surprises. What a lovely surprise! Enjoy the change.Don't worry. My first thought was..are you pregnant, but no!\nAt your age...lots can happen! Life is just beginning for you at 17, and accept yourself and your body, as they are, and do not worry!!\nI am sure you are beautiful(mind & body), so respect, trust and listen to your body. He will tell you if there is anything to worry about! I am saying to you, let yourself develop,we are always growing...at our own pace. Be OK ! Be confident, and enjoy this beautiful age!!!
193793
tell her, 7 months pregnant or not, he's a sleeze bag. tell her and an authority figure too since he threatened you. dont live in fear because of that loser!
238088
Seek counseling, and realize that, but for the actions of your Mom, you could say goodbye to being an "A" student, captain of anything, and the list goes on.......at 16, you were definitely not ready for the consequeces...would you have had to continue living at home, and get help from your Mom?...if you said "yes", then you were not ready.\n\np.s. those advocating you should have kept the child must not have thought it through that her Mom would be shouldering a great part of this burden this girl brought on herself. \nI've seen  ALOT of teenaged girls get pregnant while I was their age....most quit school, end up on welfare...\nThere are those few girls who are fortunate enough to have parents who will help raise their daughter's child so she can continue going to school, but those are the exceptions, not the norms.
314430
This sounds to me like my situation a few years ago, phantom pregnancies, if at all posible ignore this person's remarks lies and rot she is a very unhappy person and trying to drag up b/s for you to get upset and angry about ignore it [it will not go away]but still ignore it or speak to her as you are speaking to a child and tell her to grow up
63082
this sounds like a case of extreme paranoia. almost to the point of self mudalation, which is very unhealthy. if she is a virgin like she says she is there is no ligitamate reason for her to think that she may be pregnant. even if she was pregnant, it is still (and even more) horrible for someone to do that. you need to talk to her mother or a responsible adult about this very serious problem.
213604
Your fun may just be beginning. My daughter started at 12 and outgrew it at 19. Things got so bad that I let her go life with her permosques dad. She ended up living on her own at 17. Sometimes we must let go so they can grow. It sounds harsh but you must stick to your morals and principles. My heart goes out to you. To be honest, giving her to God was the only thing to do. She is now the mother of two. Her and her husband are so king and loving. It just takes time and patience.
627589
I've never been pregnant but I would figure you are pretty much bang on with what you said.  I mean, you hear all of these stories about post partum depression and they can't be all fake so, it would make sense that her hormones are still a mess.  She's been pregnant for 9 months and her body probably hasn't had a chance to flush those hormones out yet.  I'm sure if he gives her some time, she'll accept.
18602
Sounds like your friend is in need of a mother-figure.  Maybe not.  Regardless, if I were in your shoes, I'd be happy for them both.  Don't interfere and don't be rude to your friend.  Being supportive is selfless and caring.  You'll find a better friendship with someone else.  Showing resentment is jealousy or envy.  Not cool.  And reall not mature.  Good luck.
379201
your her friend and this is going to be tough but don't try to help her pass her drug tests by giving your sample of pee  Drug addicts are very manipulative people.Set some guide lines sit her down and tell her you will not lie for her and tell her not to treat you like a idiot by lying to you. Tell her you are only too happy to support her to help kick the habit. As for the baby i really feel sorry for the child especially when there are so many people who are childless out there and would love a child. Maybe it would be better to have the child placed in care until she gets her act together and cleans up. I know this sounds like tough love but you have to be for her sake
335462
you idiot this is how i ended up with a baby at 18.  how could you?  you took away her right to self determination.  i hope you are prepared to take care of a kid and a pissed off woman!  i hope she has an easy pregnancy because if she doesn't you will be paying for the rest of your life.  you men need to take condoms seriously.  stop playing Russian roulette with your dicks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!