I've been with my bf for 3 years and we've lived together for 2 years, but my parents think I've lived alone or with friends this entire time. I've never told them I even had a boyfriend, plus with their religion, they don't believe you should live with someone before your married. I didn't tell my family before because I wasn't sure it was going to be this serious of a relationship and I enjoy my privacy, but now that it I know I want to marry him I'm not sure how to tell them since I've been deceitful about it for so long.
125274
well it would seem that the first thing that you deserve to do is sit down and be honest with your family about how you feel you can't be honest with them about your life due to fear of judgement and see if they are aware of this fact or if it is merely created by you.  Being in a similar family I would tend to think it is a little of both.  After you have done some work to dispell this space that is between you and your parents then let them know that you have a boyfriend that you have known for a long time.  If you have to make little white lies to lead up to where you are to continue to tiptoe around them then that is the way it is going to have to be.  But the healthier route would be to break down this barrier that you have with your parents and judgement and creat some unconditional love between you all.
419055
You're really not being independent if you shack up with your boyfriend and are too scared to tell your mommy. An independent woman would get her own apartment and pay her own way, and when she gets married, would create a home with her husband. If you think your mom would react badly, consider the reasons why: is that how she raised you? To live and sleep with a man out of wedlock?  Can she be proud of you?\nIf you think you're going to marry him, understand that couples who live together have an 85% chance of breaking up- before marriage because living together is just a way to avoid making a real commitment.
113524
Are you living together or engaged?\n\nDepends on the circumstances. You both can talk about it.\n\nIf you have questions, you should never be afraid to talk about it.\n\nRelationships are based on communication and trust.
522741
If you put what others had said before me, and consider that I is okay to not be sure, but to date and see what happens, and not pull back, then you have it half licked. \nIn my case, I had parents who did not fight and argue, and stayed together, and I think really loved each other, but pretty much did their own thing. \nWhat has put me off from relationships, and what I am just getting over, is all my friends who had parents who divorced. Worse, friends with horrible step parents, the kind the beat with belts and all kinds of crap. I am holding out for the love of a lifetime, and want to raise my own kids, if I have any.\nSo, I see your ideas as really rational and normal given your background. As one person has said, the best way to do it is to not judge the situation or a future mate before even meeting her. \nIt can be done, I am just learning myself. So can you. And, when you meet the right one, you can tell her these things, and she will not be offput, as long as you tell her you really want to get to know her before committment. \nI have been interested in the same person now for a couple years. This time it may work. She hangs in with me, and I with her. No we don't live together, but are slowly learing to trust. \nSo, hang in there, and let things happen slowly. Just because you kiss, or even shag doesn't mean that you are about to be in a trap, as long as you are careful. \nBe good to yourself, and realize that sometimes it is the unknown that makes life exciting!
247227
The most important thing to be concerned about is you and your soon to be wife. If your parents don't want to come I would leave it alone and move on to concentrating on your wedding. My husband and I have been married for 7 years and have been together for 12 years and one thing we have learned is that you can not base your marriage on what other people do or don't do, say or feel and whatever else. Bottom line is to keep communicate with each other and decide together what to do or don't do. If your parents have decided for whatever reason not to be a part of your new beginning, even though it may hurt, accept it and don't let it take away from what you and your soon to be wife are about to experience together.
304287
a year and a half? Your parents can't be that upset, you both are mature young adults (I hope) and you shouldn't hide the fact that you care about someone.\n\nGood Luck
269308
TELL THEM!!!\nit screws up your whole relationship if you don't.
338639
Wow your parents are being very selfish.  It sounds like you've made up your mind about your boyfriend and leaving him his not an option.  My advice is to move out asap.  You're 25, they can't stop you.  You're parents shouldn't hold that over your head...they are saying all that stuff to CONTROL you.  Trust me, sounds like something my mother would have said to me when I lived at home.  We get along a lot better now that I'm not living with her.  I don't think you're parents hate you but they are not being fair.  \n\nThis might sound out there but did you get your college degree yet?  That might help you get a better job and be able to afford living on your own.\n\nAnyways, I hope you feel better and I'm sorry you have to put up with that.  Again, move out asap.
125047
Why doesn't your friend tell her parents exactly what you just told me? Any true parents would try to understand, from the heart out. If they can't see that the boyfriend is a true boyfriend, because it's been a year, then she needs to tell them. Both the boyfriend and parents should compromise on a mutual relationship.
250330
your family should respect whoever you judge to be fit to spend the rest of your life with. only you can know who will look after you and make you happy. take their opinions into consideration, but make your own decision. you will regret nothing more than if you do what your parents tell you and you are unhappy for the rest of your life. explain to them your choices and discuss it with them, don't block them out of your relationship completely. let them have the opportunity to give your partner a chance, they may change their minds!
105154
you need to make a decision...is this person going to marry me and will it last forever. These arent questions that you can hope for but must be 110% certain that both answers are yes. Now this is probably very unlikely. Friends are your family, usually closer than family. You tell more to your friends than you do your family so they must be preserved at all costs. The way this situation has arisen then you must make the choice now and not later as there may be no later. Your friend is feeling betrayed even if you didnt mean it that way. You need to fix things with your friend first and maybe they will give you their blessing which would work well for everyone. If they dont call your new relationship off immediately.
547723
I wish my parents would let me have a boyfriend. Im almost 15 and they wont let me. It's not like i'd be stupid and have sex with him or anything like that. I've already had a "boyfriend" but we could never go anywhere because I had to keep it a secret from my parents or they'd practically shoot me. Ughh, this bugs me so much. >:(
233135
My boyfriend and I are both divorced, and we're both a little marriage shy, so I totally understand your problem.  I want to know why 2 years is such a long time before you get married?  Most marriages are dissolved after a couple years because the people didn't know each other, I hear constantly "Well, we got married and I found out......"  That is not how marriage should be.  If you are going to spend the rest of your life with a person, you should know them in and out beforehand.  I'm a firm beleiver in living together before marriage.  Try that for a year or so, if you guys are still madly in love then you can START talking about marriage.
377536
It would have helped if you would have stated your age and his....but any older younger relationship in the teen years is bad news....sorry.  \n\nThey are your parents they have your best interest at heart.  They don't want you pregnant (surely not in the best interest of you or the baby), the don't want you pressured for sex by an older guy (who has more than likely been sexually active and more than likely wants sex from you), they don't want you getting std's.\n\nYou may not be silly, you may not be naive, but dating an older guy is never a good idea.  If he is out of high school, you just aren't in the same place in life.  If you are in 9th grade and he is in 12th....he is probably just after sex. \n\nTwo people have to be in the same place in life for a relationship to work.  My hubby is older than me, but we were older when we met and married, both done with college, both in good jobs, both living life on our own....we were in the same place.  \n\nSorry you had to change your plans, but you live in their house, it is their rules.
405201
Oh wow. This is completely a showing of the future if you two get married! Talk about tied to the apron strings. His parents are absolutely controlling him and he obviously doesn't want to end it. Is he living with them still? Maybe he has separation issues. Clingy to his parents...or feels like he has to obey because hes living there...\nOuch. Tread carefully here, cuz if he's 24 and still obeying, after marriage he's gonna be still obeying.
289144
First of all, religious differences are a major concern. If his religion forbids marrying out, you won't have a happy marriage as far as his parents go... Take that into SERIOUS consideration.\n\nNow the way he treats you, I mean, I know you love him but he really doesn't seem that interested in you. Why would he want to wait for five years? He thinks his parents will somehow approve of you in five years and now they just can't see the situation clearly?\n\nSend me a private message if you want to discuss this further. Just give this some really serious thought, marriage is forever and the last thing you need is a divorce a few months after getting married AFTER waiting years and years!
542199
Your parents know more about life than you think they do.  They are not trying to be mean to you; they are trying to help you live a happier life in the long run.  They have the responsibility to make the rules until you are 18 and move out and support yourself.  If you can't do those things, try to learn from your parents so that someday you can.  \nI am not saying they are always right, but if you listen to them you will most likely have a lot less trouble in life than if you don't.  The boyfriend you have seems very important now, but he probably won't stay a big part of your life for very long.  How long did the last one last, anyway?  \nAlso, if you listen to them, they are more likely to listen to you.