I have been in this relationship off n on for like 8 years? Now he is working in another state. Problem is he is living with relatives and I don't think he is planning on coming back here. He see's me most weekends. And still conciders this home. But I see the space between us. And it is getting bigger. Should I stay committed or move on?
135216
8 years is truly a long time and Id hate to see you give up on that kind of relationship.  BUT you should sit dowen with him IN PERSON and let him know exactly how u r feeling.  If you have to make a special trip to see him DO IT!  Let him know u love him and want the relationship to work but you cant keep doing it the way you are doing now.  That its tearing you apart.  If he loves you he will find a way you can be together.  Find a job close to you or bring you to him!!!!!  After 8 years he should know if he loves you or not and definetely you need to know if this is ever going to lead to a permanent relationship!  If he doesnt see a problem with it the way it is- I would tell him you want to start dating other people.  Good luck to u!  This is keeping you close but letting him have his freedom all at once and thats disrepectful to u as a woman and his girlfriend.  You deserve so much better than this treatment!  Talk to him before you make a choice!  Good luck!
337193
It depends...how long have you two known each other and who will be making the sacrifice to move away? Let me guess you'll be the one. What are you leaving behind and is moving really worth it? Have you two known each other long enough?
107905
you sound almost like a mirror image of me but i'm at the 3 month stage and i don't know if he's with somone else, the other difference is he said to me that he wants to work things out i haven't seen mine in 20 days and yes im counting. the best advice hang in there, me personally i would tell him how much of a many swearwords he is for hurting me and how could he get with somone else so soon. but as i said hang in there im now ruling my own life but it is hard moving ahead without the one you love. Be Good!
325634
Does this make you happy??  Relationships are suposed to make you happy, not all the time, there are suposed to be hard times too, but in general - does HE make you happy.  \n\nLong distance is not impossible but it is hard, kep it interesting, keep the visits up and work on a plan to eventually come together, if you cant see yourselves ever living together then really whats the point?  Are you just waiting for the fisrt person to loose their job?  Where do you see it going in your minds eye, you must have a mental picture of, say, a year or two down the line.
571768
If your boyfriend is not going to be bothered that you move n with someone else to "see" how he deals with it, then this relationship is over.  Perhaps the flame has died.  It happens sometimes.  You two need to sit down and talk about your relationship and where (if anywhere) is it going.  It is time for you both to be open and honest and make concrete decisions regarding your lives.
267489
If there is no communication it will not last.  YOu only been with him for 8 months  I would move on.  That would be the easy way out but no one likes the easy way.  Most likely you will go on for few more month or until the point you say enough is enough.
249876
SOUNDS TO ME LIKE HE IS HAVING SECOND THOUGHTS OR FEARS OF SOMETHING. YOU NEED TO BE VERY CLEAR OF WHAT YOU BOTH EXPECT OF EACH OTHER BOTH FINANCIALLY AND RELATIONSHIP WISE BEFORE YOU MOVE IN TOGETHER OR IT COULD GO SOUR VERY VERY FAST TRUST ME I HAVE BEEN THERE AND I SUFFERED BADDEPRESSION FROM IT. I MOVED 275 MILES FROM HOME BOUGHT A HOME W BF AND NOW FEEL TRAPPED IN HELL...SO B CAREFUL VERY CAREFUL FINANCES CAN SCREW UP A RELATIONSHIP FAST AS HELL.. BE VERY VERY CLEAR OF ALL EXPECTATIONS BEFORE BEFORE BEFORE YOU MAKE A MOVE W THIS GUY!!!!
629641
Do what's best for yourself.  People will come and go all your life, but you'll always have you.  If you think the relationship is stronger with the one who is leaving, that's who you should stay with.
176328
It doesnt sound like he is fully committed to you yet. You should give it time and see where it leads. If it doesnt change look elsewhere.
47854
DON'T MOVE IN WITH HIM!!!  I am working on becoming a social worker.  You don'w know how bad it is for a relationship when the couple lives together.  Only 5% of the couples that live together before marriage actually make it to the wedding day.  If you want a serious relationship, don't move in with her.
22487
He might have some issues.  I would move on from here.  He was great for the time you spent together, but that seems to be it.  If you are interested in him, go out a few times before shacking up again.  Not a good move, if you are interested in a relationship.
542922
No, you're not living in dreamland. Things such as this happens in real life and can indeed work itself out. The main thing though, for the both of you is to be more patient. Allow time for things to work themselves out. I was in a similar situaition where I had meet a friend over the net and things turned out good in the beginning. She also lived miles and miles away from me, 13 hours to be exact. And I too, went to visit her and everything, made plans to move to where she lives but she got a little impatient about the entire process and called it quits because in her words, she wanted someone there to hold hands with and to be with whenever she felt the need, she didnt want to wait on it...\n\nI will say this though, since he's over 30, still living with parents, etc....Then you may want to think about stability, does he have it? IIs stability something that you want, etc??? Does he have any real obtainable goals, etc......You should consider all of those things
599798
He made his choice, sweetie, and now you both have to live with it.  I think its probably better to get some space between the two of you for a while, in order to allow you to get over your romantic feelings towards him.  Let him concentrate on his marriage and see if he can make it work.
636688
no you need to move on and if something happens in the future like he comes back and both of you want to still be together then that is fine but both of you r going to go through a transition and u will both most likely change with him being in a different city with different friends, activities, and etc.
676472
id say if you cant spice up your relationship enough to where you want to stay together, then their you go. You answered your own question. Its time to call it quits.
151161
Well, is there anyway of compromise? Is the distance between the place of his new job in september and your stable job place too great to commute from a place that's in between the two places?  \n\nIf it is commutable distance for you two, then I suggest that you and your husband staying in a rental home or a reasonably priced apartment that's nearer to your two job places and renting your new house or keeping it for your selves for later.  After all, being so far apart from your husband seems to hurt your relationship with him to the point that it might lead to a bigger issue in future (like god forbid, a divorce).  Communication and intimacy are important keys in a relationship; without them, a person can lose many things in life that he/she might regret later.\n\nHowever, if the distance seems to be too great, then you can stay in your new home by yourself while your husband again goes to the job place and works but I would like to suggest that you two take many oppurtunities that you can to make up for the lessened communication and intimacy in your lives by visiting in the weekends or monthly (whatever suits your schedules).\n\nWhile stable jobs are important to life, a stable relationship is also important to life.  It's up to you two to calmly figure out the balance between the supporting your relationship while having jobs so that both will be happy in the end instead of being frustrated about not understanding the different levels of importance the two of you give to the relationship and work.  After all, you two are individuals and as such you two have different ideas and beliefs over what's important to each of your lives.  To find out the differences and to understand and respect eachother's ideas and beliefs, please do talk seriously about it so that you two can better balance between your relationship and works.\n\nGood luck!
597860
Given that you live so far away from each other, I would have to say that he found someone else, and is trying to see what happens with that person. I would get out of that situation!!! Do you really want to be a backup plan? Find someone who is willing to be there and not play games with you.