A lawyer and a blonde are sitting next to each other on a long flight from LA to NY.The lawyer leans over to her and asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists and explains that the game is really easy and a lot of fun. He explains" I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5, and vice-versa." Again, she politely declines and tries to get some sleep. The lawyer, now somewhat agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer you pay me $5, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500!." Figuring that since she is a blonde that he will easily win the match. This catches the blonde's attention and, figuring that there will be no end to this torment unless she plays, agrees to the game. The lawyer asks the first question. "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?" The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches in to her purse, pulls out a five dollar bill and hands it to the lawyer. Now, it's the blonde's turn. She asks the lawyer: "What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down with four?" The lawyer looks at her with a puzzled look. He takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references.He taps into the Airphone with his modem and searches the Net and the Library of Congress. Frustrated, he sends E-mails to all his coworkers and friends he knows. All to no avail. Afterover an hour, he wakes the blonde and hands her $500. The blonde politely takes the $500 and turns away to get back to sleep. The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, wakes the blonde and asks, "Well, so what IS the answer!?" Without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5, and goes back to sleep.
137938
nice one! dont think of those who did not read your joke... theyre just lazy you know as in "lazy" duhh!!! but anyway, thats cool...men you rock!!   n&#92;/n(0o)n&#92;/n.. Hehe
428784
That's the best blonde joke I've heard in a while. LOL! Tell another.
416677
This is definitely one of the best blonde jokes I've heard.......LMAO...keep it up man!
606090
A double Decker bus makes a sharp turn and one lady from the top level falls out and hits her head. A crowd gathers. \n\nA doctor and a lawyer had been walking down the road at the time. When the lady fell, they made their way to her. When they got there, the doctor turned the lady over and said "Oh my God! It's my wife." Then the lawyer shoots the doctor. Why did the lawyer shoot the doctor? \n\nHere's my guess:  The doctor was cheating on his wife with the lawyer (which the lawyer just realizes). Or the lawyer was the doctor's wife's sister or mother.
49373
here's a blonde joke (oh- i see you're blonde, so a redhead joke)\nthere was a redhead driving on the highway, and alongside the highway there was a wheat field, and in  the field there was a redhead rowing a boat. so, the redhead on the highway gets out of her cars and goes, \n"why are you rowing a boat our there?" and the redhead in the boat says,\n"this is like, a sea of wheat, duh," and the other redhead goes,\n"it's redheads like you that make redheads like me look so stupid. i would go out there and kick your butt right now, but i can't swim."\nhaha i think that's funny.
19571
Two blondes realize that their apartment is on fire and go out onto the\nbalcony.\n\n"Help, help!" yells one of the blondes.\n"Help us, help us!" yells the other.\n"Maybe it would help if we yelled together," said the first blonde.\n"Good idea," said the other.\n"Together, together!"
435065
go to hell   L.O.L....very funny i liked it.... what do you think about this one ; A woman dies and goes to heaven. While waiting in line, she hears this terrible screaming and moaning. This disturbs her somewhat, so she tracks down St. Peter to find out what is going on. "Oh, that," he says, "that's just the woman in front of you. They are drilling holes in her back to attach her wings." The woman is still a bit upset by this and is pondering her position when the screaming starts again. This time it is louder and more blood curdling than before. She calls St. Peter over again to find out what is happening to the woman now. "Oh, that," he says, "they're just drilling holes in her head to attach the halo." The woman decides that she wants out and tells St. Peter that she has changed her mind and wants to be sent to hell. "Are you sure you want to go there?" he says. "It's a terrible place, you'll end up getting sodomized and raped and even worse!" "That's okay" says the woman, "I already have the holes for that!"
674847
Read this joke for a change.....\n\nA couple was golfing one day on a very, very exclusive golf course, lined with million dollar houses. On the third tee the husband said, 'Honey, be very careful when you drive the ball don't knock out any windows. It'll cost us a fortune to fix.' The wife teed up and shanked it right through the window of the biggest house on the course. \n\nThe husband cringed and said, 'I told you to watch out for the houses. Alright, let's go up there, apologize and see how much this is going to cost.' \n\nThey walked up, knocked on the door, and heard a voice say, 'Come on in.' They opened the door and saw glass all over the floor and a broken bottle lying on its side in the foyer. A man on the couch said, 'Are you the people that broke my window?' \n'Uh, yeah. Sorry about that.' the husband replied.\n\n'No, actually I want to thank you. I'm a genie that was trapped for a thousand years in that bottle. You've released me. I'm allowed to grant three wishes - I'll give you each one wish, and I'll keep the last one for myself.' \n\n'OK, great!' the husband said. ' I want a million dollars a year for the rest of my life.' 'No problem - it's the least I could do. \n\nAnd you, what do you want?' the genie said, looking at the wife. 'I want a house in every country of the world,' she said. 'Consider it done.' the genie replied. 'And what's your wish, genie?', the husband said. \n\n'Well, since I've been trapped in that bottle, I haven't made love to a woman in a thousand years. My wish is to sleep with your wife.' The husband looks at the wife and said, 'Well, we did get a lot of money and all those houses, honey. I guess I don't care.' The genie took the wife upstairs and ravished her for two hours. After it was over, the genie rolled over, looked at the wife, and said, 'How old is your husband, anyway?'\n'35.' she replied. 'And he still believes in genies?....That's amazing.'
173960
Why did the brunette buy 600 yellow sharpies?\n...\nShe was jealous of the blonde! Hahahaha!\n\nWhat's dumb, brown, and red all over?\n...\nThe brunette that tried to bleach her hair in the sun! Yarharhar!
623231
Caution:  I go from 0 to Bi*ch in 3.5 seconds.\n\nWhy does the blonde keep failing her driver's test?  B/c everytime the car stops, she jumps in the backseat!\n\nWe'll get along fine as long as you realize I'm God.\n\nMy bulldog's cuter than you!!\n\nWitches Do It in Circles!\n\nMy Karma ran over your Dogma.\n\nTree Hugging Dirt Worshipper.
181933
BLONDE: "Excuse me, what time is it right now?"\n\nWOMAN: "It's 11:25PM."\n\nBLONDE: (confused look on face) "You know, it's the weirdest thing, I've asked that question thirty times today, and every time someone gives me a different answer."
107780
there was a blonde driving a semi down the highway and she saw something white dancing in the middle of the highway she started honking her horn for the thing to move. she was getting mad so she hit her brakes really hard. \nQ: what was in the middle of the road?\nA: it was a bedsheet laying flat and the wind was blowing it...HAHA...
654314
A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here and help me.  I have this killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get it started".  \n\nHer boyfriend asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"\n\nThe blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a tiger."\n\nHer boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle. She lets him in and shows him to where she has the puzzle spread all over the table.\n\nHe studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a tiger.  Second, I'd advise you to relax. Let's have a cup of coffee, then  put all these Frosted Flakes back in the box."
467977
hahahah......agreed the joke is long, but worth reading it......hilarious one......LOL\n\nYou can make this joke a bit short by editing . I have tried with the first para and see the difference....you can save  one line.\n\nJack decided to go skiing with his buddy, Bob. So they loaded up Jack's minivan and headed north. After driving for a few hours, they got caught in a terrible blizzard. So they pulled into a nearby farm and asked the attractive lady who answered the door if they could spend the night.
365759
1)Theres a blonde and a brunette walking in the park. The brunette says to the blonde "look, a dead bird". The blonde looks up into the air and says "where?"\n\n2)Theres this blonde woman driving her car down the road and all of a sudden starts swerving. A police car behind her notices this and pulls her over. The blonde says "thank god your here officer, these trees keep appearing in the middle of the road and i have to swerve to avoid them." The officer replies "thats your air-freshener."\n\n3)Why shouldnt you let a blonde use your computer? You'll end up with tipex all over the screen. (cos shes usin the word processor, inevitably makes a mistake and tries to tipex it out) [do americans have tipex?]
166215
THERES A PRIEST A RABBI ND A LAWYER ON A SINKING SHIP ND THEY RUN TO THE SAME LIFE BOAT ND START TO LOWER IT DOWN UNTIL THE RABBI SAYS "WAIT! WAT ABOUT THE CHILDREN??"\nTHE LAWYER RESPONDS "FUCK THE CHILDREN"\nND THE PRIEST SAYS "DO WE HAVE TIME?"
196258
A blonde heard that taking a bath in milk makes you look beautiful. So she left a note to her milkman telling him to leave her 15 gallons of milk. When the milkman received the note, he thought that there must me some mistake, so he knocked on the blondes door to clarify the order.\n\n"Excuse me, miss, but...is this request written correctly?"he asked.\n\n"Yes it is," replied the blonde."I'm going to fill up my bath tub with it.\n\n"Would you like that pasteurized?"inquired the milkman.\n\n"No,"said the blonde. "Just up to my waist."