Some times I feel very deppressed. I have absesive compulsive dissorder I  am always worried about desises and aids all the desises you could know.\n I just want to enjoy my life and my family and not worry about dieing Its like my life now Its takeing over.
138858
No offense, but by your spelling errors im guessing your pretty young. I dont think you should be afraid of all these things at your age. You should possibly talk to a parent or a close older relative to get help. As for the obsessive compulsive disorder it is a mental disorder that you need to work on to control. Good Luck!
532490
It could be a big lack of fulfillment of your needs, feeling worthless, or very disappointed, perhaps someone did something to you and you haven't been able to come to terms with it and give closure to a situation. \n\nAsk yourself what it is, who made you feel so bad? There could be depression, a lack of assurance and feeling less, you'll have to take control of this and these deadly emotions. You have certain issues that if you search deep inside you'll be able to deal with it.
552919
I stopped enjoying it as a teenager.  I never have any money and I feel bad when my family gives me expensive gifts.  More than half the family has died, is in a nursing home or has become estranged so it's not the same anymore.  Thinking of the past makes me sad.  Drunk drivers worry me on every holiday.  I start getting stressed before Thanksgiving and it doesn't let up until New Years Day.  I usually wish they'd go away but I also wish I could just relax and enjoy them. - Oh yeah, I think about suicide (seriously) every time I see a Christmas related commercial/program on TV.
447736
First I would like to say I'm sorry for your loss of a family member.  Yes, you sound like you are depressed to me.  If you researched the symptoms, you would see yourself.  I've been depressed many times myself, and I can tell you it is no fun.  You get no pleasure out of doing anything, and all you want to do is sleep.  What you got to do is get up and do something for yourself, but before you do that, I want you to think REAL HARD about what I'm going to say.  No one controls your life but you.  What has happend, is in the past, and you live for tomorrow, not yesterday.  Everything that has happened is all water under the bridge, you can't do anything about it, and you need to stop dwelling on the past.  There is no one that can do a single thing about your situation except you.  You can either lay there, and drown in self pitty, or you can get up, and move on with your life.  No its not easy, but remember YOU are in charge of your life, and if you don't point it in a positive direction, then who will?  Sure you have a reason to be depressed, but how many days will you let the sun rise and set on another day without fun in your life?  You may have to make yourself get up and do something, but this you have to do, or loose your mind.  You may have a lot to be depressed about, but you have more to not be depressed about.  A person thats depressed cannot concentrate on school work, and you probably aren't getting anywhere.  You KNOW what the problems are, and you KNOW what you have to do to make them go away.  Get up, and get it done.  Put some fun back into your life.  Keep yourself busy to occupy your mind, and if you have to; please seek medical advice from someone, a doctor, a pastor, or just a friend that you can talk to, but do this before you end up at the bottom of a pit that you can't crawl out of.  Get off your @ss and do it, and do it now!  Don't tell yourself that you will do this tomorrow, because you know good and well that won't happen.  I hope this helps you some way.  Good Luck!!!
461872
Hang in there!! I felt quite similar when I began taking meds three years ago. I felt like there was NO end in sight for the helpless, hopeless feeling. It was unbearable! \n\nBut after awhile on meds, I began to be able to eat again... Then I was able to sleep again... Then, after 2 weeks, I realized I could go about my day again without the crippling anxiety. I could hold my head up high again. I regained PERSPECTIVE. \n\nAnd since then, I've had a handful of 'depressive episodes' a year, but all have been short-lived and manageable, thanks to two things: the meds, and talking informally with therapists or counselors, or even other sufferers of depression.\n\nSo my advice to you, while you wait through the horrible period for your meds to kick in, is to talk more to your psychologist, or a counsellor or therapist, or even just an online forum of people who have depression. It's all about perspective, and when you're depressed, you lack that. So please, talk it over with people (posting this question was a smart move)! \n\nGood luck, and know that It Will Get Better. Please take care (and feel free to email me if you like).
327566
First let me start with You have depression. You are in a funk right now. I too have my moments when I think that God has forgotten all about me or has even played cruel jokes on me. It is the depression. You mentioned God so that means that in doing so you have not forgotten him,he too has not forgotten you. It seems like things are so hard to take but everyday you have something good. you just have to look for it.  If you were to end life now all would be for nothing. besides the pain that all who love you feel in that event is so unfair. I have had to endure that kind of pain and I don't want to go through that again. However it plagues my family everyday. Things always get better. If you take medication are you taking it? Is it adjusted correctly? If not maybe you need to see a doctor. good luck to you
557166
I feel for you deeply, My brother has been like this for 29 years of his life,he has tried to take his own life twice been sectioned once and still the same,he justs exsists really he goes nowhere and has only contact with family! Sorry I cant help you and I hope you find your true self again good luck!
359514
Omg...I didn't get a chance to read all of it becuase I was soo scared for you. DON'T KILL YOURSELF! Please do not do that please. Life isn't as bad as you think it is. There isn't anything wrong with being gay and if you asked god to make you get rid of this problem. Maybe he's not listening and sometimes don't worry about that because we all don't know why we're here. Just live, be happy, and even if you're gay you can have a good life. I'm sooo scared that you might do something terrible. I tried to IM you but you don't accept those but whatever you do. Dont end your life. There are so many people that care about you and love you and it's soo sad to know that you feel this way. I've been through this. I wanted to kill myself once but I never had the guts and I'm glad I didn't because life gets so much better you just have to get through the hard parts. Don't listen to what people and society tell you. They are not you and they don't know how you feel. If you feel that you need to distance yourself from your family awhile then you need to do that but don't hurt yourself. That is the worst thing you can do. That wouldn't be helping your family at all. That would be killing them also. They love you even if you are homosexual I'm sure they do. If they say they don't then their lying becuase their homophobic. So keep your head up please. I don't want you to kill yourself. Email me if you need to.
665074
i think Ur facing some kind of depression (not major one).\nu need someone who understand Ur feeling well, mature enough to deal with.\nur wants r normal, but u can't go for it, cauz u develop some complex in urself.\ncome from it, u r young, no one can please everybody, so don't care much for those who don't care for u.\n\nlife is short, live its every second\nGOD bless u
422096
When you are feeling this way, you can run from the very people that love you the most and are most willing to help you.  \n\nSo, that said, go right away to your mom, dad, grandparent, sister, brother, best friend, boyfriend, whoever you trust completely, and tell them how you are feeling.\n\nWhen you tell what you are feeling, you will be on the road to getting better...and you can get better. You may think that nothing can ever make you feel 'not suicidal" but trust me when I say there are things out there that can turn your life around in a matter of a few weeks to a month or slightly more.\n\nBut, you will not get better on your own.  When you are feeling this way it won't just go away on it's own.  You owe it to yourself to get help.  You deserve to live a full life and be happy again.  You have a very good chance of that happening...but it won't happen if you don't confess to someone how you are feeling.\n\nEven if you think you have nothing to live for, and that no one would miss you or even care if you're gone, once you are better you will clearly see how much you are loved. So, reach out to someone immediately for help.  You won't regret it...but others will be heartbroken if you carry out your thoughts and they weren't given a chance to help you.\n\nTrust someone today and tomorrow you will be on the road to a better life.\n\nThe National Suicide Prevention Hotline number is  1-800-784-2433. You will be able to call that number toll free anytime, day or night, and they will listen to everything you have to say.  They can help you too.
396913
I feel for you,  you sound like you are going through a terrible deppresion.   Im glad you are seeing a counsellor.  hope you continue too.   I think you need a prescription from your doctor though to help you through this.  It is so sad all the trama you have been through in such a short time.   I am not preaching but I will definetly say a prayer for you I think you might need help from every angle.   Do you have a spouse or family to talk to?\nCrying is normal but not continuous and sleeping that much is not good for you either.  You are going to have to try very hard to face this and hold yourself up and believe you can do it!\nI have had times like this and you need to get interested in something even if it is on the computer you might be able to reach out to someone else.   Please try to discourage the suicide thoughts I know it is hard but there are people who need you somewhere and that is very final.  I want nothing but the best for you so please keep in touch and let me know how you are making it through your days.       \nLife is Beautiful hon.   keep your head up and spirits higher.
204237
First of all lets take the judgmental statements such as wrong and weird out of the equation. They are shamming words and you have nothing to be ashamed of. You may be suffering from depression which is a common ailment these days. Depression is simply a deficiency in certain brain chemicals that produce a feeling of well being. Your family doctor can be of great help. If you do not seek the help you need your condition could worsen and produce some real tragic consequences in the long run. So, there is nothing wrong with you as a person. You are fine and you are courageous to ask the question. You simply need a little help to get you back on track.
676261
i could not imagine what you are going through. i personally have never experience or been in that situation.i think you do not love yourself or feel worthy for someone to love you.that is very important no matter what family drama or life changes you have to go through you must always remember to love yourself.
199305
what do you do as a job? i found that i had to change my attitude in a lot of different areas of my life. i don't know exactly what i'd suggest for you since i'm not sure what type of work you do. are you religious at all? that is something i got away from and i found myself sinking deeper and deeper into anger and despair. have you talked to your doctor about it? i have had to stay on an antidepressant. my family has a history of depression. sometimes we just have chemicals in our brains that are out of whack. it is hard to deal with life if your brain isn't working properly. i have made myself always look on the bright side. i dont' know you, but as a starter, you can be happy that you have a roof over your head and at least some type of employment. i honestly know how you feel. please don't consider killing yourself. i don't know how many times i made passive/aggressive attempts to harm myself. i was wreckless and i did not care at all. it's an awful feeling. i really suggest you talk to a doctor. psychological sickness is the same as physical sickness. some people do not understand that. there are methods to heal yourself. please talk to someone. i'll say a prayer for you.
468339
Its sounds like we have very similar lives.  I know how it feels to be under so much pressure with no where to turn.  When my life gets crazy like that ( I'm a single mom) I have found that taking some time for myself can work wonders.  It was hard for me to face the fact that I cant count on anyone but myself, but I try not to let myself get overwhelmed.  although i am not a religious person, my grandma always told me that god would never give me a cross too heavy to bear.  And I have faith in that and myself.  Hope things get better for you.  Good luck.
154929
i am suffering from depression. i feel happy when i am occupied but it having the energy to get and do it in the first place. i dont always look on life as a downer just it feels some days hard to cope with. i feel i need alot more hours in my day as there is so much to do but yet i seem to get nothing done.\non a really bad i just hide away under a cover and dont speak as i just dont know why i am feeling so lonely and scared.\ni hope this has helped you to understand depression a little more and dont forget there is help and there if you need it. you should see your doctor they have heard it all before and wont laugh at you. they are there to listen and give you the right help you need.
190138
I think that if you dont feel ok its okay death and hard situations are all apart of life we just have to cope with them and ask god to help us through these obstacles of life just stay positive and keep your head up and you will be okay just take one day at a time and try to relax take care and I hope all goes well for you