About 5 months ago my 5 year old out of the blue said that my husband kissed another woman.I was in absolute shock took her some wher private and asked why she had said that. she told me a story ... She said that the other day when she went to work with her daddy and it was still dark out(he leaves at about 5:30 am)they had walked(he works at his parents bakery approx.1/2 mile away)and outside the convience store that is just before getting to the bakery,a girl younger than I (she added prettier,too)stopped them and started to speak w/ her dad. she said he told her to wait on the sidewalk and moved ashort distance from her to talk to the girl.They were holding eachothers hands but she could not here what they were talking about.She then said that she kissed him and said she was going home. She didnt specify whether or not they kissed on the lips.When her daddy walked up to her he said don't tell your mom or I'll spank you. when i asked him he said she made it up and denied eveything.
133823
First of all, that is your daughter!!!  Why wouldn't you believe her!???  You know it's true you just have to face it!  That's really messed up that he would tell your daughter that he would spank her.  What kind of man is he anyway!?  And you're still with him.  Obviousle your daughter knows that something is happening so she decided to tell you about it!  Respect her if not yourself.
384405
I think if you are not comfortable with your 5 year old son/daughter walking in while in the act, then you need to say so. Alot of kids have walked in on their parents, and that is one thing that grossly sticks in their memories...many of us adults still remember...yuck! There is a time and place for this, but when there is a chance the kids could walk in, then it should not even be a question. She sounds a bit selfish. If she wants to spice it up, then wait until the kids are asleep and you two can go outside or in the car, or wherever she finds it exciting. So, I do not feel that you are in the wrong on this, I don't agree with it either. Good luck! :)
617613
okay he called someone else baby?okay i was seeing this guy we were on the phone this girl i guess she was in the background saying something to him i swear he said THANK YOU BABY,i could not believe it i aske him about it he said i call ever girl baby.i had the wearded feeling about it but i blew it off.guess what he was seeing other girld behind my back .please if he calls another girl baby or honey dump his butt
64193
This is something you should speak to your husband about. My wife had a similar problem. She married me at 18 and I was her first. She expressed her desire to be with another man for the experience, and assured me that in no way was she interested in leaving me for another. Since I love her with all my heart, I wanted to do anything possible for her. Through our discussions we have decided that we will pursue that in the future if the situation arises. I am working through some issues over it, but as I said, I love her and will do anything for her. If she needs to fulfill this, then I will allow it to happen. We may bring another guy into the mix with us or it might happen with her and him alone, we haven't decided that yet, but we will discuss everything and both of us must be comfortable with the situation in order to proceed. Communication is the key. I'm quite sure that your husband has some fantasies of his own that he hasn't shared with you yet. This could possibly be an opportunity for you both to discover new things in your relationship. Have a conversation with your husband. If your husband loves you as much as I love my wife then he will at least ponder the thought. Good luck.
340514
I have a degree in early childhood development and have dealt with many such situations. There is nothing that can "cure" the problem that isn't mutaully agreed on by both sides. ie. NEVER discuss adult issues in front of or to the child in adult terms. Nor should you cause a traumatic event to be added to by telling her that she will have to do anything that isn't court ordered. Your friend needs to discuss these issues with her father not argue or verbally attack, nor should she mention what her daughter said (this will make him defensive and most likely confront the child). Explain how it is effecting her behavior and that it was said that he had filed. Please don't......Then, and always she needs to be reassured and told often that she is loved and that daddy loves and misses her too. Just because mommy & daddy aren't together anymore doesn't make them love her any less. And remember 2 happy loving homes are better than 1 unhappy home. Also, everyone who is caring for her not to over compensate and allow behavior or regression problems. This will only grow into something that will eventually cause an unruley teen and a lousy adult. She needs a set schedual (routine is comforting) and have set boundries, with consequeces. TIP my son started sucking his thumb, I only saw it once, but I didn't use hot sauce as most people suggest because it would hurt if it got into his eyes. I used powdered alum and made sure I got it under his nails. If you don't know alum is what makes pickles sour and has quite a bite. It worked the 1st time.
631124
They do not speak to each other.  Apparently, she thought he was critical of her in an interview he gave.  I am not absolutely sure but I think she claims it was about her having adopted when she first did.  She also often said that she did not appreciate his cheating on her mother.  Not very consistent for a woman who slept with a married man.  He has expressed that he would like to make amends but she is not budging.
409080
You should not blame yourself for this. The guy sounds like a jerk to me. I have not really had the best relationships with guys either, so I understand how you are feeling. My situations were not exactly like yours, but I still get how you are feeling. The only thing I can give you for advise is that if he is not "man" enough to keep a relationship with your daughter, then it will be him that loses out on a great little girl. As for dealing with her... I can only say I would try to have as little communication with HER as possible. If your daughter goes to visit him, make sure that you are talking with him to make the arrangements. If you feel that you two "are not suppose to be together" I think that you should make that crystal clear to him, there is nothing harder than letting him think that there is something between you when you in reality have no feelings for him. It will only make things more difficult for you in the long run. Another little tip is to keep someone in your life that you feel like you can always turn to for advise either a close friend or family member (this always helps me and plus you get a second opinion for free). I hope that this little bit helped :-)
234853
WELL I THINK WHAT YOU DID FOR HER AND HER DAUGHTER WAS MORE THEN MANLY. MOST MEN WOULD SAY OH WELL AINT MY PROBLEM AND WOULD HAVE STAYED. I THINK THAT YOU SHOULD STILL HAVE A RELATIONSHIP WITH THAT WOMAN IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU CARE FOR HER VERY MUCH. YOU DONT HAVE TO LIVE THERE AND SHE CAN STILL DEVOTE TIME TO HER CHILD. HAVE EITHER ONE OF YOU TRIED TO MAKE THE DAUGHTER APART OF YOUR RELATIONSHIP SO SHE WONT FEEL LEFT OUT. WE AS MOTHERS HAVE TO LEARN HOW TO SHARE OUR LOVE AND ATTENTION. TALK TO HER AND YOU TALK TO THE DAUGHTER TRY TO BE A FAMILY NOT JUST MOM'S BOYFRIEND. IN THE MEAN TIME- TAKE KARATE, GO TO THE GYM, BECOME A BIG BROTHER,DO SOMETHING YOU WILL BE PROUD OF AND STOP MESSING WITH SKANKY WOMEN JUST IN CASE YOU AND MOM GET BACK TOGETHER
473709
Oh my gosh......somewhere down the line......my exes must have mated! The first was a raging drunk and the second the porn king. I left my first and never downed him in front of my kids.........but as life goes on and they get older they will see the mother and father for what they truly are. If you care about your child You will not live with a drunk! Wait, and I hope you don't........until your child is standing with a phone in his hand as you scream, "Please call the Police." While daddy is holding your arm behind your back and hollering, "Do it I dare you, cause if u do i will crush her arm and then they will really have a reason to be here." I swear to you as I type this I am shaking remembering all those years ago. I can't tell you what to do...........but for your child's sake.....please....seek help....please don't ever let this happen to your child because I swear.........no matter how you try to cover it up..........they always remember and so will you.........and so far as the porn.......you will never ever get over feeling like your 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 5th..........100th best..I can't tell you there are no words I have for you that can tell you what you will have to go thru. Your man is the two men i was married to in one. I wish I could change the course of your life. I mean this from the bottom of my heart...seek help...and listen...learn...and don't become a victim. I'm almost 50 and refuse to date...because of what i have been throught. Don't make my mistake...care enough about you and your child to know that you  deserve better. Because the man who love so much right now will become you biggest nightmare....it a short few years.........please.......I know i sound crazy...but seek help, break the cycle before your child...starts a new one with someone else....
30247
Hey bro, I feel bad for you. It sounds like you have tried working with her about this. It sounds like you have been patient.You are going to need to make some tough chocies.You are going to need to find out what's really the problem ( her not feeling sexy?,is she having an affair?,not in love with you anymore?,have you done something since your daughter was born to make her act this way?,ect..)You sound like you love her and your daughter and don't want to leave. It sounds like she's not willing to kiss, be romantic,or try to see a doctor about this.To me if she just wants to be friends and isn't willing to change then maybe it's time for you to re-think things out about what you what you want in a wife and if this siutation is really good for you and your daughter. If you continue to be unhappy, this will start to effect you much more, which will at some point effect your daughter, which is something you don't want, she's done nothing. I think it's cool that you are trying to keep your family, but you also need to have your needs met. I would keep trying to work with her on this if you feel it's worth it. If there's no change and if she's not willing to see a counseler then mabye it might be time for a change. Love and passion is something that can be worked out if both parties are willing to work things out. Just don't go deep and and get emotional and do something that's dumb. Everyone has bad stories with quick fixes. This is your family. Think things out before you act on them. Good luck. I hope very thing works out for you.
78604
Suga, I know you are upset, but bringing your daughter into this is not very nice.  If you two split up or have a huge blow out, then she is going to think that she is the reason why Daddy and Mommy are upset.  Just calm down and sit down with your hubby, telling him calmly how you feel.  Maybe you can get something worked out.  Good Luck, and you're in my prayers
330500
When my daughter was a teen, she was always having arguments with her dad. She would yell back at him, and it would get into bad arguements. He would tell her she couldn't go to something that was coming up that she had been planning on for some time. She would be miserable, then at the last minute, he would let her go. \nWhat I saw was her dad, who was great with little kids, did not know how to deal with teenagers. This was his little girl, and he didn't want anything to happen to her, but, he didn't know how to deal with her growing up. She thought that if she treated him different, she was "kissing his butt", and so, they argued, never talking anything out. I told her that if she would try things my way, she would have him wrapped around her finger. After a long time, she did decide to try something different, because her way wasn't working, and they finally got closer. He died in 1999, and now she talks about all the good things that she learned from him. Dad's are worried, and they want to know that their daughter is doing the right things. Try not to argue back when he gets angry, and try to maybe talk to him at times when he isn't angry. Let him see that you are doing the right things,and sometimes telling him you know he loves you and not to worry will make him happy. If you are screaming back at him, he keeps it going, but, if you aren't fighting back, then he will have to stop, a one sided argument doesn't last. Listen, if you are sceaming at someone, and they scream back, it keeps the fight going, but, if they don't scream back, you will stop, because there is nothing more you can say. Sometimes, when my son would do something that he thought I would be angry with, I would shock him if I was cool about it and let it end there. You are daddy's little girl, you can use that in your favor, start thinking, use your head, and you can get your dad to be sweet again. If you talk nice to him, he will be so shocked, he couldn't get mad at you. Try, it can't hurt. He probably is like my husband, and just wants his little girl to listen to him, and love him again. You don't have to be right all the time, or you can let him think that you agree with him. Just don't scream and yell, he won't listen to that. Talk. Be cool. If he doesn't let you do something, sometimes, if you show him that you are grown up enough, he may let you do it. Give it a try. See if it works. Good luck.
20899
how sever was this touching?  what proof do you have?   notify DSS departmetn of social servce immediately. they will take the kids away and let your daughter marry who ever she wants but the kids will be safe.  obvioulsy the kids arent very importatn to her. \n\nwhy is she so stupid
416708
I think you both need to quit the games where you are trying get prove the other is a worse person.   What is in the best interest of the child?    I have not heard anything about what is best for the little girl.    Too often people get caught up in their own divorce battles to even care about the child.    Act like an adult and think of the child first which may mean you hold your tongue around your daughter, maybe it means joint custody.    I can't believe you irresponsible people and your selfish behavior.    Makes me sick.
69002
wHY should life be this horrible....I was mugged and almost assaulted and I was with my sister,that experience lives with us till today.There is nothing you can say,all I wanted was to see my Mom and just run into her arms and just not be anywhere ese.She just took me into her arms and kissed me on my forhead,and held me for a while like she used to do when I was a baby.It felt so good and so cleansing.She gave us (me and my sister)time to just let it sink in,but we also kne she will always be there for us when we were ready to talk about it.And she was and all she did was listen.\n\nNobody deserves to be in that situation and I hope your daughter recovers from the trauma
514786
I would say this girl has no respect for parental boundaries.  I would speak to my son and let him know this type of behavior is unacceptable in your house and that if this young lady, and I put that loosely, is going to be over again she better mind her tongue. I would want other parents to tell me if my child was disrespectful in their home. Even at 17.  She isn't going to make it very far in life with this personality.  If it happened again I would directly show my disapproval to the girl, and ask her to leave.
304020
1.. no you do not need another child for proper development\n2... your daughter is  just trying to find her way in the world, let her know what is acceptable behaviour she will come round. I have a 5yr old who was just the same. \n3... don't make a big issue out of her speech this will just make her feel bad correct her as if you didn't. hear properly and leave it she will pick it up a lot faster if she thinks she is not being told off. if she gets the words right give her lots of hugs. she is only 4