are some good tips on not being shy?? Because I'm really shy except around my friends. And I'm afraid I might accidentally send and "aurora" that says 'leave me alone' or something..which I totally don't mean to. Any ideas?\n\nOh..this happens especially around guys.
131878
There's nothing wrong with being a little shy....some guys find it attractive.  But, if YOU don't like being shy, retrain yourself.  Start by making eye contact with strangers while your shopping.....add a smile....eventually a "hi, how are you?".  I know-it sounds simple and goofy...but it works.  Strangers aren't as threatening as people we know or like. It will still feel uncomfortable at first.....but what have you got to lose.  It also helps to have a few ready made questions for you meet people.  They could be school, family, or hobby related......you get the idea.  Good luck.  You'll be happy to know that confidence comes with age!
249048
I used to be really shy, especially around people I liked. I guess I got nervous. Then I realized, Just relax & talk to them like I'd known them 4ever, & if they don't like me, then I'm no worse off than I was before. I've made a lot more friends that way!
382548
from a 17 year old girls p.o.v. :  i find shy guys to be hot! but at the same time i find shy guys to be a turnoff because its hard to talk to them. my advice would be, tho i kno it seems hard for u but just try ur best to be more outgoing, dont hold back. when u see a girl u like, go up to her and casually say hi! i love it when a guy makes the first move! ive tried really hard to flirt with shy guys but its always so frusturating cuz they come off unintrested.
155184
I had a hard time talking to guys when I was younger. I would get so nervous that the thought of talking to him about anything but maybe a basketball game seemed impossible. I understand that the direct approach is a no, this doesnt come easy for all of us. The spreading of the word is an okay idea but just because you hear someone likes you doesnt mean you will believe it. I would suggest letting a mutual friend know that you like him and having them see what he thinks of you. It may seem like a not so great choice of action but it can prove to be successful. If you are not up to that get a friend to go on messenger or something with you (presuming your guy friend has it also) and let them type for you and ask him what he thinks of you. I used to use that one all the time to make me seem bold while I was biting my nails in the background. Good Luck!!!
431569
the only one that has to accept you--is YOU!!  remember, carpi deium! sieze the day!  besides what is the worst that can happen?  I used to be shy myself, now I get out there and try, come to think of it, I would not have my wonderful kids if I stayed shy\nalso, (just a thought)\nfind a councelor or confidaunt to talk out these feeling with and help you release the fears burned into your mind.  I have PTSD from sevier abuse as a teen,  I know what it is like to suffer a trama that scars the mind as well as the body, and I see my councelor regularly.  there is no shame in such things.
3078
I really like Alan's advice and I think he is right on.\nSo please do give what he said a try.\nUs women really do want to get to know you good,shy guys :o)
395686
Go for it. Life is short, and your teen years are even shorter, so have fun. Besides, I know I feel like it would be a God-send if women would ask shy guys out. If he says no, what's the worst that could happen?
109976
You should take the risk and talk to them face to face just like talking to them on the internet. believe me it is experience and trying.. be nice, be smart, funny and strong...shy is not so good most of the time, because you won't be able to know what you should say quick...the only thing to change such behavior is go and talk, and start as friends. and be the center, don't be the corner.  \nI tried that before and I succeeded honestly.  and I can go out with any I interested in..but I'm not interested in many now. just some.. and believe me, if you see some don't want, then just don't try... take it from easiest to easier to difficult.
419942
sorry but that is the answer, you have to fight that shyness and be bold.  it doesn't have to come out as forceful.  Maybe your hints were too subtle.  Just casually mention, 'i really like you,' and just go on with the conversation. it doesn't have to focus on that issue. just be calm.
12760
Make it a point to be more interested, genuinely interested in the people around you!  Focus on who they are, what they are saying, with no background noice or thoughts from your head.  Stop worrying about what they think, because as long as they're talking about themselves, they wont be thinking about you!  And once they've invested things about themselves into you, they'll naturally feel closer to you, and like you!  Then, hopefully you will feel comfortable enough to share something relevant as well, otherwise, they we'll feel foolish for opening up to you and withdrawl!  This is how intimacy is formed.  Since you are shy, take the receptive role first, and then the giving role.  Try it!  Remember, Ask and open ended question, such as, "Where are you from?"  ..." oh, how is it there, I've never been?"  keep them talking about themselves until you feel comfortable enough to enterject something about yourself!  Remember to listen to what they are saying, not your self concious voice in your head!! Focus!  Good luck! ;)
346334
Hi, I'm 26 years old and currently in my freshman year of college. I definitely know how you feel; all throughout school I was not a very outgoing person. I usually kept to myself, at the same time I  tried to impress my peers. Now I realize how immature it was to act that way. You should never look down on yourself in any kind of way. It is important for everyone to feel they belong, and you seem to doubt yourself. The thing is, other people are just like you, they will not approach anyone and end up never making any friends. Be bold and walk up to the other guy like you and talk to them. They are just wanting someone to break the ice. My advice usually ends up being religious, but I do not feel like I should preach to you. One thing I will tell you is, turn to the Lord and he will never leave you. He will always be there giving you comfort, and the the great feeling that you belong. I never feel alone because I'm not. Just realize that people all throughout life will try to hurt you to make themselves feel better. You control your own life....make the best of it....live life to the fullest. Talking to an older person is great because they are wise and can give you some of the best suggestions. Hope this helps
64331
Everyone feels shy sometimes, but being too shy can hamper many aspects of your life.\n \n \nSteps:\n1.  Determine why you're shy in the first place. For example, are you scared of what someone might say about your physical appearance? Remember, there's an underlying reason for how you react in situations.\n \n2.  Act as if you're not shy. In private, behave as if you're oozing confidence. Hold your chin up, stick your chest out, add a swagger to your walk and speak firmly. It may seem ridiculous, but you will see results when you're out in public.\n \n3.  Practice making eye contact and smiling in your interactions with others. Strike up casual conversations with strangers about weather or current events.\n \n4.  Look your best. One way to improve self-consciousness is to always look good and limit ways you can be self-critical.\n \n5.  Lower your fear of rejection by imagining the worst possible outcome. If you approach someone, they may say "no" or they may just walk away. Absolutely everybody has been rejected at some point, but no one has to dwell on it.\n \n6.  Look and learn. Watching friends or even strangers who aren't shy is a good way to learn some tips first-hand.\n \n7.  Feel positive about yourself, don't get frustrated and have fun. Remember, the real goal is to find someone who will like you for who you are.
146041
Hi,U know I used 2 have the same problem... first of all... DO NOT FEEL LESS than other people,second: if someone comes by N U start blushing or gettin nervious, just imagine that person stading in an empty space with NOTHING but the opposite sex's underwear on,THIRD: let GO,hang loose,B confortabe,if U pretend everything's under control everything WIIL B under control,N lay back  relaxed,keep in mind YOU ARE WAAAAY better than the rest and if U DO say something stupid DON'T GIVE A FUCKIN' SHIT ABOU WUT THEY SAY OR MIGHT THINK ABOUT U,\n\nN fInally,whe U put all these on practice N B-come a more confident guy,find a girl who's a bit shy N THAT will B the perfect girl 2 start a conversation with,N hopefully date.... well this is wut I did N now I have a much better life,I realy hope it works 4 U .\n\nFeel free 2 E-mail me @ : debbie_free2nite@yahoo.com
357330
You break a introvert with a 2x4!!  Come on! if you dont being around people (or dislike people all together), then why are you so compelled to fall in line with peole that are not like you?  Your confidence has little to do with you wanting to mingle. Trust me, had I a real choice in the matter, I would live so  far in the wilderness that it would take a plane to get to work every day if I had the choice, but its my JOB to interact with people. when the day is done, i want to be left the f... alone!! Take up a hobby that you can do alone yet meet others, like fishing, biking or mountian climbing. \nJoin a Sci fi fan club or RPG group or something. And if you do, make sure its OFFLINE! Stop hiding behind your monitors screen, that'll help a great deal.\n\n There has to be a row of coming of age movies made over the past 50 years that cover the topic of some geeky kid doing all he or she can to mingle with the "in" crowd... rent, look and learn.Dont quit being who you are for the sake of being a part of the crowd.
222952
This approach always works for me.  Don't say anything at all, but still be nice and smiling.  For some reason, when you are quiet, it makes the other person talk.\n\nMy close lipped boyfriend blabs up a storm every time I am quiet.  When I am chatty, chatty, chatty, he just clams up.\n\nJust give it a try!
217780
Guys are probally just as nervous as you are! \n\nSometimes certain girls can be shy, but also, as weird as it may sound, guys can be pretty shy too!\n\nI have a lot of guys friends, and they are pretty shy when I metion girls, dating, ect.\n\nDon't worry girl! You're doing just fine, and your Orlando Bloom will come really soon! :)
148008
Very strange, I was discussing a girl with a friend earlier tonight. She is extremely shy and it's difficult for me to understand what she's thinking half of the time. I used to be introverted and then had a major incident and came out extroverted. I asked a psychologist if it was possible to change in that fashion. She replied "Yes, people may change with time. However it usually happens because of some life changing event". Good luck.