I love this HOT guy but he thinks we'er just friends but I want to be so much more. My boyfriend is a jerk and he hates my best friend, he flicked her off and he is cheating on me!!!!!!!!!!!! What do I do?
137570
Ok. First, every lasting REAL relationship should be based on friendship. (Lusting  someone is not the same as love.) \nSecond, dump the current bf. If he isn't your friend, can't respect you, isn't loyal, nor treats you properly then get rid of him quickly. \nIf you really have feelings for the one guy why not try talking to him? He will either let you know his feelings are going in the same or he will tell you that he just wants to remain friends. If he chooses #2, then respect his wishes and stay friends. Sometimes real/true love finds you when you are least expecting it. :) Don't fall for the first "Hot" guy that comes along....if you rush it could just be lust and nothing more. If he cares about you he will let the relationship grow the way it is supposed to if it is real. \nGood luck! I hope my advice is helpful to you. (In case you are curious, I can tell you this because I have been in a very successful, happy, close relationship with my husband for 17 years now. We were friends before we were ever anything else. )
402557
You should stop beating the crap out of yourself for one...  You have a good friendship.  Good friendships are generally screwed up by dating.  Just roll with it.  Be glad you still have a good friend and go find yourself a boyfriend.  Maybe do a double date or something!  Don't try to fix something that isn't broken.  You can still keep him as a friend and date other folks.  Sounds like a plan to me.  You'll be fine as long as you give yourself a break and stop looking for reasons why you did something wrong.  You did nothing wrong, he did nothing wrong, you're still friends, just roll with it before you mess up a good thing.
114113
Best friends make the best lovers. Let him know how you feel. If he doesn't feel the same and doesn't want to give the relationship a try, then so be it. One day he will turn around. If you cant handle not being with him, take some time away from him so you can get over it.
425523
I say no, honey, if you don't want to be hurt again then stay away from him. Once a cheater always a cheater. You deserve someone better. And for the time being when you don't have a bf, get closer to your girlfriends! They won't cheat on you.
541062
i can understand your boyfriend's insecurity.  MOST guys are friends with girls and would get in their knickers if the opportunity presents itself (not saying that your best friend is like that, but a lot of guys are) \n\nand your boyfriend is probably thinking, '... yeah, y'all friends now, but romance/lust/love/whatever-you-wanna-call-it has a way of creeping up on people' .. you've heard the phrase 'we were friends, before we were lovers..'? \n\nwith all of that in mind and possibly more, youre boyfriend probably thinks the less time you spend with the guy, the less chance romance/lust/love/whatever gets to creep in.\n\nso, right now, while you're still just friends and have ABSOLUTELY NO sexual/romantic feelings for your best friend, you have to make a conscious effort to keep things that way, and then turn to your boyfriend and give him plenty of re-assurance.  i know it sucks, but unfortunately, that's the way us humans are wired. insecurity needs reassurance. and reassurance could be in the form of while being with your best friend, speaking to your boyfriend on the phone, for example, and tell him how much you love him (vomit) in such a way that the best friend hears it and the boyfriend knows that the best friend knows and heard it. that make sense? its a bore but if you really love your boyfriend and you really have no sexual feelings/hopes for your best friend, you might have to do all that :(
233645
Who are you kidding?? do you have any idea what a jerk this guy is????????? First off, he's gonna ditch you for your best friend and when he feels like he's done with her, he comes back to you??? Seriously, why would you ever wanna date someone who once dated your best bud unless if she's ok with it, but still I don't think that's right. Besides, he's playing with both of you and you will be played twice if you don't see what he's doing. Please don't tell him you love him because obviously he doesn't love you and he will hurt you. You can't trust a loser like him, and I hope you're smart enough to make the right decision. There are so many nice guys out there, find one that is serious and ONLY interested in you.
26248
Sometimes chemistry gets the best of us and morals go flying out of the window. Friends normally are for life while Boyfriends/Girlfriends normally last only a couple of weeks.\n\nAs to how to deal with it. Get a better guy which will have eyes only for you and no one else.\n\nNobody is perfect but if it where to happen again I would seriously recommend that you re-evaluate your friendship.
662623
dont worry about it seriously ppl say things all the time to start drama. just follow your heart. if he really loves you he didnt say that and he still wants to be with you. who knows maybe ur best friend has a thing for your boyfriend and wants you two to break up. just let it roll right off ur shoulder and act like you never heard anything.
406578
Girl are you serious? For one, if he really cared for you, he would not have started dating someone that you call your best friend. If she was your friend, she would not have started dating someone that you were with and still have feelings for. If I were you, I would take the advice he gave you (which is telling you that he does not want you for a relationship, just something to fall back on) and date other people and just leave him the hell alone and her too. Do not put yourself in the position to be hurt, take control of your feelings, have pride and some respect for yourself. What makes you think a real man would want someone who is going to be their dummy, and wait for them to finish messing around with some other girl? He is making a fool of you, and it is time you get a back bone and swallow that so called love you have for him.\n\nI really do not think what you have is love any ways, I think you are just infatuated with him and its gotten stronger because now he has become a challenge since you can not have him when you want him. Girl it is so many other fine ass men out here and who could be better that what he is, that will love every step you take. Do not wait around for someone to approve you loving them and them loving you. He is not sorry for hurting you, he is just plan sorry!
368179
Some guys get into this mode that they "forget" their friends for a while when they meet a girl they really like. He may grow out of it. However I think you should talk to him and tell him you still want to be friends, and if possible talk to her alone and see if she really "hates" you, or is possibly jealous of your history with her boyfriend. If she isn't, have her suggest to your friend that they and you and your boyfriend go out together some time.
631389
Please help ?  Poor, pitiful Pearl.....  clearly you AREN'T "committed to a guy" (but what the heck, you tell him about your obsession with this other idiot and he doesn't break up with you, one has to wonder what the hell is wrong with HIM?)  You suffer from the "I-Can-Save-Him" Syndrome....all he needs is the love of a good woman!!  What a bunch of crapola.  You already know that this guy has fooled around with other women - thereby cheating on his girlfriend (he confessed to this) - and you have said that "every word that comes out of his mouth" is a lie.  Oh, right - but he said he loves you.   Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight.  And so that is enough for you to debase yourself with such an idiot.  You are right - you DO pity him.  But you mistake that for love and, honey, it's not love.  It's not even a reasonable replication of love.  IT'S PITY!!!!!!  Leave him and his protestations and his fake declarations of love alone and pull yourself out of this hellhole of stupidity.  Leave him to some stupid girlfriend who also holds onto him (ever wonder why she continues to keep him in HER life ?  What do you suppose he is telling HER about how he loves?  How much pity do you think she is feeling for him these days ?)  Leave him to his shallow "I-Am-A-Victim-Have-Pity-On-Me-And-Love-Me" routine.  Have a little pride, girl - if not for you, then for the rest of us!!!
633895
hotti, i was in the same situation.  I loved him and he cheated so i broke up w/ him.  It was hard to get over and i thought that i would never get over him, but i did.  \n\nFirst, get rid of anythign and everythign that reminds you of him.  EX:  Pics, notes, letters...ect\n\nNext, now that you have your mind off of him, keep ot off and try new things.  Make sure to be having fun.  Go to a club and hang out with friends.  Party.  Then do more fun stuff like somethign you never did b4.  If you have nvr been surfing, try that.  Or try any of these:\n~skydiving\n~bunjee jumping\n~eat a lot of ice cream\n~introduce urself to a new type of music\n~go to a concert and 'Rock out!!'\n~get a journal and in a red pen write "I hate _________"  (fill his name in)  and fill the whole jorrnal.  If that dont work, use a more appropriate word, like a*s*s* , jerk, loser, or anythign else.  Be creative.\n~hang out with a million other people you dont know\n~have a night on the town with your mom or best friend.\n\nHere are some really fun things that you could do to get him mad:\n~order magazines in his name and send them to his house.  Make sure thay are girly or childish magazines\n~sneak into his house and draw all over his face with red marker\n~hang all of his underwear outside with a sign that says "A*S*S* crack undies.  Free.  Never been used.  lol (do you get it)\n~Just have fun.\n\nI hope i helped.  Dont cry over a jerk.  You will definately find a better guy who loves every part of you no matter what.
48992
i recently found myself in the same situation, so i know what you're going through.  the guy gets mad because he's worried that (like the other dude said), you guys are talking about him behind his back.  he may also be worried because you two may find out that he was cheating on both of you with the other one...as in my case.  Regardless, if you two really are friends and have lots in common, then screw the guy and thank him for a really good friend.  It'll really piss him off...
39387
Sounds like the two of you don't trust each other and don't trust yourselves. When I was young, I was terribly jealous because my self-esteen was low. I didn't seem to believe that I was worth loving, so I would cling too tightly to boyfriends and friends. Thankfully, I matured and realized how foolish it is to be jealous.\n\nIf you love and trust your boyfriend and if you're not just hanging onto him because you don't believe that you are worth loving, then let him go with his friends, even if the ex is there. \n\nIf he does do anything to destroy your trust, then he's not worth being with anyway. Find someone else who is. The reverse is true for you as well. You aren't looking to cheat on your boyfriend, right? Then he needs to trust you, too. If you do cheat on him, then that's not fair to him. He is deserving of someone trustworthy, too.\n\nJealousy can destroy relationships. I've seen it happen. Lighten up on each other. See where your trust can take you.
301668
If I found out they were dating behind my back, I would dump BOTH of them, not 1. Just to make the process more efficient! :)\n\nCheer up, sh..t happens, you know.\n\nGet a new best friend, and a get a new boyfriend, too.\nHarsh to say, but this may be the only clean way out of this mess. \n\nDon't torture yourself... but defend yourself, as much as you can. Don't let your self-esteem go down beause of the two pigeons.
161338
Be friends with him but tell him you have a boyfriend.  If he's as sweet as you say then he'll back off. Stay w/ the person that's treating you right. If you dump your boyfriend for your crush then you wouldn't be right. What if your boyfriend was in your situation...what would u want him to do? Whatever you do, don't think of only yourself.
667662
Now your situation reminds me of myself and one of my former friends'.\nOkay, now this is going to be a long one, so I want you to read through this end to end.\nI think what almost 8 out of 10 guys/girls will get cheated in their life time, which does not mean, they are going to turn into people who do not trust their future partners. Thats is SIMPLY ridiculous!!\nI got cheated and dumped by my first official girlfriend on Valentines day and then by second (and current) girlfriend. But that did not turn me into a green eyed monster, turning furious at any guy that my girlfriend speaks to. Infact I have come to trust her SO much that I let her express her 'crush' on a guy. She cheated on me not once, not twice but 3 times, but now I trust her enough that I know that she would NEVER do anything that would hurt me, that she would never fall into temptation even if she is in a room full of naked men!!!\nYour boyfriend is just using you, he has you on a tight leash. \nIf he does not trust you now, when do you expect him to trust you?? Come on, girl, you are in a world that has men!! Not in Venus, for crying out loud. \nYou may think that he is just been protective and stuff like that, but you know what, thats all just a lot of BULL CRAP!!!!\nI have been there and I am back. When you are so controlling, it is not because he loves you, but because he gets that inner satisfaction that he has 'held' you. He is happy that you 'obeying' him and 'at his commands'. Is this what your parents brought you up for?? Do you not have any self respect or indignity left??\n\nYou have to sit down and talk to him, or else your freedom will be history. Even animals learn to overcome cheating spouses and learn to love their new faithful partners, so where does he get his theory that he is not able to let go on his past??\nOkay, so he got cheated, he may also have got cut with a knife, or fallen off a bicycle, but that didnt stop him from using a knife or a cycle, did he?? Thats right. He is using the oldest trick in the Mens (not very) Big Book of Excuses.\n\nI could go on and on.. but I guess I am done typing for the day. \nOver and out for the Weekend!!\nBut you better make a informed move, dont stick around with the Loser!!\nCheers!!