I was abused so I am frightened of letting them get close, I need to overcome this otherwise I am doomed to be alone forever!
131770
You have to think of Yourself First. Forget about how men see you. Start thinking to make youself a better person.\n\nExecise, lose weight...if you are in shape get some interest like a hobby or some good reading...build some "new you" but not because you have to boost confidence with men, do it because you must boost confidence "in Yourself". You look in the mirror and you think.."I like you now.."\nWhen you have reached this point you will see strange things happening to you...Men will be attracted to you as ever before, even if you were ugly..Why? Because your  self-confidence send out a message, like a scent, telling men that you are OK you are the woman they are looking for, and all of this because you spent time building that confidence\nFOR YOURSELF BECAUSE YOU ARE A GREAT PERSON. DO IT FOR YOU::
64007
hey thans for the advice on my boyfriend i just really am scared! oh and mine is trapped in the closet all parts its just drama i love to hear it but not be in it
161941
I was abused everyday for 11 years out of my 12 by the same boy. (HE wasnt at my school during my tenth year... My best year) anyway He was at my bus stop and it seemed like we had lunch time together every year and he was a grade younger than me. He failed. He would toss stuff at me and my friends, make rumors and signs up about me, pin me to a wall with all his guy friends around watching, and the list is too long to say but when i went for help time after time i was told "oh just let it go" finally i bipassed the principle i was assigned and went to the whole schools Principle which turned out to be a mistake. This kid was on the football team and the Principle was the head football coach and he said to me and i quote "Your just jealose of the attention that football players get, you need to get a hobby, besides he has a tough home life that you probably dont, He is just venting his feelings of aggression." Now i had no care in the world about his home life just because he was being abused didnt give him the right to do it to me. Anyway 4 years after high school i got on a buss to go see my parents because my fiance was working late... I hadnt been picked on since high school and had not heard much about him besides a bad bar fight he had gotten into. well who comes on the buss but him. I immediatly looked down and got fearful and i thought please dont let him notice me. And for my shock he sat down and started talking to me about him going to college and asked me questions of what i had been doing. Talked to me like we were best friends. My mom and dad couldnt believe that i didnt take the oportunity to tell him what he had done to me all those years. The only thing i can think of WHy it happened on my part is that i was heavy and quick to defend my friends. He got a reaction he was looking for
168029
I think everyone is afraid of being alone
510072
You definitely should try seeing a therapist. It sounds like your dad and uncle were both victims of abuse themselves. Some churches have qualified people who can help, some do not. Keep searching until you find a professional who can help you. You deserve help and its out there for you.
74546
I'm sorry that I can't help, but I'm so glad that you're finally going after this. It must be hard for you and it's going to take alot of courage, but in the end, you'll probably be glad you finally met them after all these years! Best of luck to you! I really hope you find them.
673347
I was once in the same situation for 10 years...I was verbally abused as well as physically abused...we had 2 children...in 60's we had no place to escape to...I eventually was given a way out.....our son is in prison because of his painful childhood....so I do know where you are coming from...people should never stay in an abusive relationship "For the Children" they are suffering that abuse with you....\nAs far as the healing...well its been nearly 28 years since I got out of that marriage...I have anger problems....I have memory loss... I have anxiety and post traumatic stress syndrome...but I have been holding out pretty good...healing takes time...I am still healing...one thing I did learn from all this...Men who do this sort of thing have a complex...they look to you as above them so in order to bring you to THEIR level they have to over power you enough to make themselves feel better about themselves..just hang in there...go forward don't look back....get a journal and write down your feelings..it really helps...and sometimes its better than trying to explain it to people who have never been there...time heals all wounds...but for some...it just takes a lot of time....let me know ...been there...done that...
329807
Tiffany I know it is difficult having to put up with that treatment every day.  Work on cultivating who you are inside and ignore them. It will not be easy but in the long run you will be better off for it. Believe in yourself and know that within yourself you are so much better than whatever "they" say.
40094
Maybe you could invite a friend over. Maybe you could talk to someone you trust about your fear of going over a mile away from your house. You could look into school activities or programs where you could meet other kids. I hope you will improve your life. You are the only one who can :)
3755
I can certainly relate to what you are going through.  I, too, am a giver, and I have felt so drained of everything after being repeatedly used by someone. Yes, it does hurt badly to be liked for only what you have or can give!  I agree that you should be quick to forgive, and not just when it feels right.  However, you can forgive someone but still keep a healthy distance from that person if they continue doing things to hurt you.  Someone who is TRULY sorry won't keep using and abusing you.  I would suggest you try reading the book "Safe People" by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend. It really deals with this very issue and shows you how to safely choose people who are not going to treat you as a door mat.  In the mean time, go on forgiving, but set up some boundaries for yourself and don't allow people to walk on you.  Choose your friends wisely.  You can still love them, and pray for them, that they will come to see how they have treated you, but you don't want to give them the go-ahead for mistreating you.  If they are truly your friends, they will stop and never do it again.  If not, it's time to meet some new people.
70333
if your feeling a bit apprehensive but would still like to me them, make sure you bring a friend along or meet in a public place like a restaurant or cafe. you could even get a friend to ring you at a certain time so that if things are not going well you can get out of the situation. always make sure  someone you know, knows where you are going to be. you can never be too careful with someone you dont know well. good luck...
145957
It is a terrible thing being abused by a parent.  You can deal with it andthough you think you have toughed it out, you still should get some professional help.\nYou just need to remember, that none of it for any reason was your fault.  You need to know that the abuser had issues and unfortunetly didnot deal with them except for lashingout at you.  Maybe as a child growing up, this parent was brought up in an abusive home.  Only she and possibly you will ever really know that but the deal is to forgive that abuser, and forgive yourself for there was nothing you did wrong and nothing you could have done to prevent it.  I am so happy you are out of that situation and would really like you to join a support group, or seek professional thereapy with a specialist because many times the cycle of abuse passes from one generation to the next, and many times, we don't realize this until it's too late.  These people help get inside of your head and really get to the core, and that does go a long way to being able to cope with it and not pass it on into your generation.\n  confronting the abuser is usually done at a certain point of the therapy and I would suggest not doing it until then.  It is very probable that you still have contact with this person and this person may still have an abusive nature, such as that which will come out more as verbal, emotional abuse as you are older now.\n  Please get someone to help you deal with it...they are trained and although you say you have pretty much dealt with it, you really haven't and you need to.............\n  Good luck and I am so sorry for what your parent did to you.  You were helpless and felt so unloved and so wrong all of the time, and believe me, this is not lawful and it is certainly not fair.  Good luck and stay tough.............
441132
First off, my extremely deepest condolences to you.  The reason you are having these attacks is because you are legitimately terrified.  You need to go talk to a professional.  Thats really all there is to it.  You now have to bring all those bad feelings to the top so you can get rid of them and move on.  Until that happens, so will the attacks.  Remember, God helps those who help themselves.  You gotta go after the help in order to be cured.\n\np.s.  after that, THEN go shoot the s.o.b........just kidding but it got you smiling right?
118273
You both need to sit down and talk with them. Let them know what your boundaries for this are. They have to let you go at some point. And if you don't talk to them it'll make it harder. Tell them to look at it from your point of view. It's not like you'll never see them again right? You will still be close enough to visit and see still. If they can't accept that then they are not being fair to you. You will adjust to your surroundings if you truly want to be there. It's all a part of growing up. Moving on and getting used to new things.
650490
I'm afraid of... myself, being alone, and people finding out my secrets.
354948
Be strong and get out right away--but make sure you can do it safely and that he can't follow you.  Best to lose yourself in another place and, if he's really crazy, change your name as well.  Install security wherever you go and always, always leave at the first sign of abuse.  It is NOT you and you DO deserve better; keep telling yourself both of those things rather than "it will get better" or "I really love him" or "he's trying"--those are all self-deluding signs that land women in hospitals & morgues.  It will tkae time to get adjusted; you may need to get a guard dog/gun license (and practice on a range so you get really good!).  Just remember, any man who derives his power and sense of self-worth through abuse (esp. of people he supposedly loves) is sick and will hurt you and others again.  At least you've recognized the abuse and considered leaving before it's too late; some women can't bring themselves to leave.  Their lives are short, miserable ones filled with terror, even if to the "outside world" they seem fine.  Don't become a statistic!  There is always a way; there are free legal advice/churches/clinics that are willing to help.  It won't be easy, but it is best in the long run.  For one thing, it ensures there will BE a "long run"!
197150
I definitely think if you are worried about scaring them it may be too soon for you to verbally tell them, but perhaps you need to tell them in other ways through body language, gestures and making sure you show them how much they mean to you at every opportunity.  These actions will take the pressure off when it does come time to tell them verbally, cause they would have already known. GOOD LUCK.