are you aware that your parent, child, spouse or friend may be dwelling on your every word?\n\nmany people are blessed and skilled at the fine art of conversation.  they know what to say, when to say it, and perhaps most importantly, when to stop.\n\ncan you use broad brushstrokes in your conversations, effortlessly creating a fine work?  are you a master of the fine art of conversation?  would others agree with your assessment?  \n\nextra credit:  whether you answered yes or no, where do you need to improve?
131584
I've never heard that precise term before (did you just coin it, Patz?) but judging by your description, yes, I am very definitely a "conversation artist" -- and happy to be so. The art of conversation seems a lost one in the modern age, alas, much like the art of letter writing. The internet has likely contributed to both of these unhappy circumstances, particularly the latter, but I think the larger culture is to blame. But pray don't get me started or I'll be off on one of my (infamous?) tangents. ;)\n\nI'm not so vainglorious as to believe friends and family hang (dwell?) on my every word, but yes, what I say matters to the people nearest and dearest to me and I always endeavour to be mindful of that fact. Words can hurt like a fist, perhaps more so, and I have long been keenly aware of their inherent power to both help and harm others. I sincerely hope and trust I am more careful than careless in this regard. The old adage is correct: The pen (the voice, too) is indeed mightier than the sword -- and this coming from a Knight!\n\nYes, I do find my ability to converse fairly effortless, though not always. I'm not sure about "creating a fine work" but I invariably leave that for others to determine. I do seem to know what to say and when and how to say it, whether it be comforting a fallen comrade on life's hard journey or breaking the tension at a dinner table with a timely joke or witty bon mot (often of the self-deprecating variety as these almost always put everyone else present at ease). I'm not entirely sure I always know when to stop, however, as I do tend to go on... and on... and on... Have you noticed? I mean, it does turn up in my written communication as well, does it not? ;)\n\nYes again, I am a master of the fine art of conversation. Indeed, I am Lord and Master of all things and you WILL bow down before me! (A tip of the cap to the brilliant Joel Hodgson and his old crew from MST3K, a forgotten classic that I miss as much as I adore, for allowing me to borrow that hilarious reference.) Would others agree with that assessment? Yes on my mastery of the fine art of conversation. No on my satirical reference to delusions of grandeur. The former would result in some lovely accolades being tossed my way which would humble me into rare silence. The latter would result in various items being flung at me with a real sense of purpose. Good thing I wear plate armour, eh? ;)\n\nI doubtless need to improve on my listening skills. That is to say, I DO listen, always, but I'm prone to interrupting when something comes to mind that I feel it important to impart. This is never intended to be rude or discourteous, though someone who doesn't know me well might take it to be so, unfortunately. Interestingly, I'm more inclined to be circumspect about this personal flaw with those I don't speak with often. It may seem like a very backhanded compliment but if I know and trust you well enough to be in my comfort zone when speaking with you, then it is highly likely I will on occasion interrupt you to make a point I'm dying to make. If I never do this when we converse, it likely means I am not very comfortable with you at all. \n\nA conundrum? You could say that. A paradox? You might say that, too. So very MacSteed? In a nutshell (or a suit of armour), you betcha!\n\nThank you for a thoroughly enjoyable and thought provoking question. This is exactly why I remain at YA, notwithstanding some difficulties on site and some serious personal issues off site. Thoughtful people like you, Patz, make my presence here entirely worthwhile. Cheers!
38214
It's really an uncomfortable situation.  My response depends on how well I know the parent.  But I'm not good at biting my tongue, so I drop hints, too.
209590
I have a speech problem, and trust me... you need to ask them to repeat themselves.\n\nI talk way too fast sometimes, and I never realize it. Sometimes I say the first few words of a sentence so fast that people don't understand it. I always appreciate it when they tell me, because once I slow down they can understand me. \n\nIf you just don't say anything, they won't know that they're doing anything wrong. \nDon't be afraid to be blunt, it shows them that you care about what they have to say.
97400
OK, I'll 'fess up.  I do it sometimes.  It drives me crazy seeing people make the same grammatic or typographic errors all the time...but that's not to say I'm perfect.  I would hope someone would correct me if I erred (and on occasion, they have), but I see it as an attempt to help someone communicate better.\n\nI've seen what poor grammar, limited vocabulary, and spelling can result in...people not getting a job they really want or getting stuck in a dead end one, not being taken seriously when trying to communicate with other people or being misunderstood because they just don't have the language skills to get their meaning across.  This is of course not true in all cases, but if someone along the way had corrected them each time they were wrong instead of letting the error go, they'd probably be communicating a lot better by now.\n\nYes, probably some people do it to feel better about themselves and you can usually tell that that's their motive in the way they do it when they belittle a person while correcting them. But I'd bet that there are just as many people who correct others, and try to do it in a supportive, constructive way, because it's our responsibility as neighbors, brothers and sisters, as human beings to do what we can to help someone else, even in this small way.  What good is having knowledge if you don't at least try to pass it on?
427580
To offer some background, I really suck at talking. I can not formulate the correct words in my head before I say them. That means that I can't always say what I mean, and mean what I say. Bad combo. I'd like to think that I'm good at writing though. I collected a lot of what I know from reading difficult to understand books like Hamlet or other Victorian age books. Learning different lingos will boost the vocabulary and aid in the ability to select better speech or words. Hope I've not talked your ear off about something that didn't help!
584339
We must definately reply such a person but the way of replying should not necessarily be the same. Language or way of replying should be such that you make your point, get long term results and dont attract anymore nuisance.  It is complicated but not impossible. We must be alert to such people (of course dont take them too seriously). If we watch them, we come to know their next move and prepare ourselves in advance.
5449
Is it like trying to carry on an adult conversation with kids interupting?\nLearn to be tolerant, even of those who might be younger, less mature or less educated.  Do not allow their childish manners to throw your mental or emotional balance off.  What does it matter?  If they act like fools, everyone can see that they are acting like fools.  Perhaps if they are ignored, they will go away.  Perhaps if they stay, they will eventually have something worth while to say.\nIt bugs me too.  What a waste of cyber juice.  But I refuse to let them get to me.
442113
its really difficult to be someone in a situation that makes someone stop and really focus on what your saying - you have to kind of draw things out even when you don't really have anythign to say and you can even ramble on in the same sentence about the same thing continuously before you end it.  If your good at it though people will listen to everything you say just like your reading every word of this..haha
381198
I have...sort of the same problem. Mine is kid of reversed because I talk too much. Of course the conversation only lasts 3 minutes because they get so annoyed of my constant chatter that they walk away. Figures, right? Anyway, talk about current events. The events you talk about depend on your age. If you're a teen, start with, "Omg, did you hear about the latest Brit/Kev breakup?" That should open up doors of celebrity scandals and gossip. Or if you are an older person, try "You know, the gas is....blah blah....economy....blah and so on". I don't really know much in the adult field so yeah.
378926
There's nothing wrong at all with silence in a conversation; in fact, I find it preferable to meaningless, silence-filling phatic noise.  ("Phatic": good word; look it up because it truly describes elements of your sitch.)  To keep a convo going, be a genuinely interested audience.  This could be challenging if the one talking is prattling on about something in which you have no interest, but I suspect that's not the case in aborning relationships.  And it's absolutely OK to re-direct a stalling conversation by changing subject; just do it with tact and charm.  Your communication skills, which are apparent in your query, will serve you well.  As for being out of practice, dude, we all are.  As the so-called rules change (which they do continuously), it's either adapt or avoid.  The fact that you're seeking suggestions speaks volumes: You're wanting to participate and not merely be a passive observer.  Take risks -- safe ones, OK?  And try not to let less than desirable results devastate you.  Have patience and kindness for yourself, the same as you do for your friend(s).
511736
I have the same problem, but I try to limit talking to anyone online though because thats just me. I know a lot of people tell me once you get out of high school you "break out of that shell". \n\nI am going to get a job which requires customer service and social skills though, I think if I know I have to, I'll be able to build the skill of talking a lot.\n\nIf you mumble, or stutter, or stumble on the words when you talk to people just think before you say something because I know when I try to say something really fast and then I forget I always stumble on the words lol.\n\nHope this helps :)
647314
Yes. this s a mini-meditation of putting some of your attention on your own tongue and throat when in a conversation. It results in your keeping your voice down at a modulated and reasonable level,\nand thinking more slowly, so that you do not seem to be ramming your own thoughts, ego and feelings into the atmosphere
394604
I sufered the same problem till I read some books about the subject.They were "How to win friends and influence people" by Dale Carnegie & "The Art of conversation" by James Morris.\nBut more importantly,practice what is in these books.
632746
Believe it or not, not everyone is born with the ability to converse well.  There are actually courses that you can take to help you with this - that's how common it is.\n\nI would guess that you are still quite young (under 25 years) and maybe you haven't been in the workforce for very long - especially a job were there is time to discuss things.  This can also be  a self-confidence issue as well.\n\nOne of the best things to do is confide in someone (a parent, teacher, best friend, etc.) and ask them to help you by having conversations.  Set a time for this and prior to the conversation, make sure you are up on current events, news, politics and sports.  This will give you plenty of confidence to begin a conversation - even if it is a question, such as "what do you think about...?"  This will actually lead to a conversation, unless the other person says "I dunno".  If that happens, you can say "well, I think...".\n\nGive it a try - it does take practice and you are not the only one who has struggled with this.\n\nGood luck!  It will get easier as you practice!
240223
I am really not at all sure of what you're trying to say, but good communication skills are essential in any public endeavor. You have VERY limited skills in this area.
336015
Fantastic, well written thought provoking words. \n\nIt makes you want to search for the answers you seek, but at the same time we answer at the same time.\n\nDevelop your skill further you defiantly have the gift of words.
281482
I am confused - do you mean your speech ? You could both take speech therapy for that . And if it is how the words come out wrong - like me - I sometimes speak rougher or louder than I should , people get confused or defensive at me , and I don't even know what I said wrong until it is too late . Now if this is what it is I can only say that it will take time to change it . Mine came after I think I was about 30 - my last child was born , and I started talking less , made shorter answers and bit my tongue , close the lips more often and use my ears now ! I still have problems relating to piers , family excetra . And I totally understand about the self esteem . I think you should try to have an hour every other day or so with your son and talk it through together - you might come up with some ways of fixing it together , your own class ! Maybe even put an ad in the paper to start a support group for just that , for parents and children to learn it together . I don't have exact answers - I am just trying to help . Good luck .