I just called my ex-husband to tell him that I need the money(child support) because I need to go buy my son some diapers and other stuff.  He tells me, "Well, you're gonna have to wait until later today when I get a chance because I'm in the process of moving right now!" You need to help me too he says. I say, it's your responsibility to give me the money on Saturdays even if you do not see the kids, and he starts saying, "I don't think that for a stupid $125.00 you're gonna die!" What do I tell him now?
128857
Tell him he's right.  That you'll have to let the judge determine how much he should be giving you and his wages should be garnished for it, that way when he is too busy, he doesn't have to stop the important stuff he is doing to go give you the money.
264501
You are so selfish. It's all about money to you. It would be such a convenience to you if could just move in with him, no regard for how he or your kids feel. Maybe he knows this and that is why he is not moving the relationship forward. You need to give the poor guy a break and move away, learn how to deal with life on your own, and then try to get into a healthy relationship...
175465
tell him your worried about the utilities being turned off and you dont wanna pay late fees and\n you can't float his half cause you are strapped for cash as well. \nmention that you know he needs money for cabo but he needs to take care of his responsibilites as well. or give him the option that if he is so strapped for money is there anything he can give you that he wants to sell and put it on craigslist.com and sell it for him and take the money for the bills. \nact like you'll work with him but by no means can he leave you strapped and sweatin' the bills while he's kickin' it in cabo. thats so selfish.!!! \n better yet let him read these answers to your question! maybe he'll then  pull his head outta his a$$. you must be firm cause he'll just walk all over you from here on out. \nif you cant talk to him write him a note and give him a couple of options as how to pay, with no option of NOT giving you the money. \nif the shoe was on the other foot he'd have no problem asking you for the money i'm sure. \ngood luck! \n**if he doesn't pay you,  I hope it rains the whole time he's in cabo or he gets montezuma's revenge, \nkarma is a bitch!!!!***
447817
My advice to you is DO NOT give him any money. Hang up the phone when he calls. If he has been beating you notify the police in your dity or town and get a restraining order on him if possible. If you feel threatend by him you might consider going to a women's shelter. You can find numbers for them in your local phone book. Don't let this crazy ruin your life. Do whatever you can to take charge of your life and stay away from him. Men who beat their wives cannot be trusted. Do not believe him when he tells you he will not do it ever again. He will. Get to a women's shelter AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. Do not tell your friends or family where you are going just go. These places have all kinds of resources to help you and to get you moving in the right direction. You need to get your life back don't let him ruin you or your life. Please do this for yourself you do not deserve to be treated badly just because you married this guy.Please get help TODAY!\nLL
548503
400 a month for supporting his child ...he thinks it's to much?? clothing ,food, home, electric and everything it takes to raising a child ? that's cheap ..he should talk to the lawyer who handled the case during divorce if he has a problem
237706
What is your EX's problem? Same as with any other deadbeat dad out there.\nHe thinks he shouldn't have to give you any money because you have found someone else. Just a little bit of advice too honey, do not take advantage of your new boyfriend's feelings. Do not use him for his money, and out of respect for him I would consider taking your ex to court for the child support he owes you.\ncheck out www.childsupport.com\nOr check with your local Department of Family and children services about getting your child support.\nYou are very lucky to have found someone who cares so much about you and your son. Hang on to him, because they are few and far between.\nGood luck
287252
Sweetheart, I went through years of hell with a man just like that; I stayed for my kids, and threw my life away.  I waited till the youngest was 15, then left.  My kids ALL said "what the hell took you so long- why didnt you leave him years ago", and when I said I had stayed for them, they called me all kinds of stupid, because they had been really unhappy and ashamed because everyone knew their father was a lush. I am 65 now, and just getting my life back.  What you have there is a self-centred, cold, thoughtless bastard who doesnt give a damn about you or the kids, hon, or he wouldnt treat you like a walking paypacket/ servant.  If you gave up your job and stayed at home what would he call you when he couldn't afford his drink and drugs?? YOU HAVE A LIFE; he has ruined his, dont let him ruin your OR your kids Get out of there girl; wheres YOUR anchor- he thinks its in your head, doesnt he? What this guy needs is an anchor tied round his neck and a swimming lesson.  Be brave; the first step is the hardest, but you can do this; do it for your kids, and do it for YOU.  God bless and keep you, and good luck in the great future you have waiting for you.
380981
Is that it? ... Is that all he's got to say for himself?..... I agree with you - you should not have to put up with it - and what's more if I were you .... I wouldn't....\nI would not be running around like a taxi service at any time - day or night - when you've got a child at home ..... who was looking after them?  Or did you have to drag your child out into the night too?.... He should be a man .. and that means keeping his word ... if he says he's going to be home by a certain time ... then he should be - no if's or but's .... he's got a family, a child too..... \nWhat's that about..... his phone going when he gets home and he 'leaves it downstairs' ..... after his night out - who would be ringing him?  If it was his friends.... wouldn't they be ringing you to make sure he got home ok?  ..... Good on you for not giving him any .... he doesn't deserve it ..... \nand in my book that would make be extremely suspicious - put together with everything else .....\n\nAnd yes, there are many 'men' like him ..... I, like a lot of other women have had my fair share of his 'type'..... which is why I would tell you now to be on your guard ..... he's up to no good - no matter what lame/plausible excuses he may give you .....
397496
Seriously, I have a few opinions I would like to express.  But I'll hold off for a few minutes. \n\nThis is gonna come back and get ya, one way or another.  Years from when the kid comes and finds ya.  Years from now when you're kids meat this one.  Days from now, when your girlfriends friend makes a call to your wife. It WILL get back.\n\nYou are a cruel, cruel man.  How could you do that to your wife and children?  What is wrong with you?  And you sound like you're more worried with losing your stupid job, than the damage you just did to your wife of 8 years and children.  \n\nAnd yeah I will give you one good thing.  It's awesome that you at least offered to pay for that kid.  A lot of me won't even do that.  \n\nBut yeah, ya reap what ya sew.
217655
sorry don't know an answer to this but I just wanted to say my heart goes out to you. I have a prem baby and I know how financially draining it can be. \nHas your wife tried appealing to this guys better nature by explaining the situation to him and asking if there is a compromise you could come to?
70852
No I do not think u r really wrong.  Your ex sounds like an idiot and you did great by making him an ex!  But u do not stop being a parent when they turn 18.  My son will be going to college and soon and he says the same thing- Im an adult now- I can things for myself but in the next breathe he wants me to cook him dinner!  lol.  Being 18 isnt the end of parenting.  I would say it depends on what he wants the money for!  If its for a $200 pair of shoes- hell no!  If its for food--- or a dental bill- maybe possibly they r still our kids even when they turn 18 and r lippy little     s h i t s  u sound like a great mom!
373486
If you are indeed a good friend of his then yes..I think you should tell him what you are seeing. But do it with kindness. No accusations...no saying things like you are living your life all wrong. You need to go in gently or you will put him on the defense. Something like.."hey Joe..I've been worrying about you lately. Seems you've been spending more money than you seem to have coming in. I'd really hate to see you get into financial hot water and lose more than you have.  Maybe we could set ourselves up with a finance therapist who can help us figure out how to fix this before it's out of control."  At least that way he sees that you are concerned and willing to help him. Not judging him. Good luck!
458917
If you trully believe 100% that this man is the father of your child then whatever happens I would make him pay!\n\nHunt him down, drag him through the courts and make the bastard pay for his child.\n\nHe can move to Timbuctoo if he likes, I would still make him pay. he can deny responsibility and say he's not the father as much as he likes, but I'd still make him pay. This man is threatening to move/demand DNA tests to intimidate you- he's trying to discredit you as a woman not to mention what he's doing to his child and thats very unfair. Why should you care what happens to someone who stoops as low as this? Why should you care if he struggles or not- He is in the wrong not you! \n \nI'm sure you don't want or need his money but that is not the point. He has a responsibility to this child and even if he refuses to accept he has a moral duty of care (which is very convenient don't you think?) he certainly has a financial responsibility which he should not be allowed to walk away from.\n\nIf I were you, I would demand that he TAKE his DNA test- let him prove that he IS the father of your child and allow him to look like the complete heartless arsehole he really is- What have you got to lose honey?\n\nRemember- you are the one holding the baby, you are the one who is facing up to the loving responsibility of being a good mother and you are the only one who can hold this man accountable for his actions.\n\nSorry, but I do not agree that ANY man who has children should be allowed to simply walk away from their legal responsibilities.\nNever mind the fathers rights- what about the rights of their child? \n\nHunt him down- get everything- make him pay and if you really don't need the money, then put it in trust for your son so that he can use it when he is older.\n\nThere is no shame in making this man pay.. after all he felt no shame in sleeping with you to create a life- he must now be held accountable for his actions!\n\nPlease don't let him away with this- you have the right to be able to life your life and bring up your son with a decent standard of living-the money will help.\nI think that you have had a very lucky escape- Men like this are the scum of the earth and you deserve better!\n\nGood luck.
459529
If he ever threatens you with bodily harm or anything, file for a restraining order or protective order.  Given his criminal history, it may be possible for him to only be allowed court supervised visitation of the child.  You were right to demand that he only see the child during the court oredered visitation.  Do not feel one bit guilty about that.  As for the money, if the child is old enough to listen to what he says, the child is old enough to listen to what you say as well.  Tell the child that the money is what he is required to pay for supporting his child and it is not stolen, but is his responsibility to pay so you can feed the child.  That is honest.  Don't bad-mouth the father to the child.  Just state the facts without emotion.  Kids are pretty smart and can put it together. :o)\n\nDo be careful.  You might consider making sure you have good locks on your home and keep it locked all the time to protect yourself.  The law is on your side, so stick to it.  Don't play his game.  I told my ex that I wasn't his wife anymore and didn't have to fight with him, but that he could contact my attorney and/or the state child support office.  They get paid to deal with him so I don't have to.  You don't have to fight with your ex either.\n\nIf he ever threatens you bodily in any way.... take legal action immediately.  Do not hesitate to call the police and file a protective order.  We all have heard the horror stories of what twisted men do to women they supposedly "loved" at some point.  Be careful and use wisdom.\n\nBest Wishes,\n\nSue
595196
It sounds like he has abandoned you.  Confront him on it.  If you can talk to him on the phone about it, that will be better than text messages and e-mails.  If he is not helping you financially, he is not acting like he's married with a child.  You are both supposed to support each other and your child.  Is he keeping all his earnings to himself?  Do you have separate finances?  That's not a marriage.  Talk to him in person or over the phone, not through e-mails and text messages.  Tell him what you suspect.  Stay calm and don't yell.  Listen to what he has to say.  It may turn out that the marriage is over and you need to move on, or it may be that he is clueless and doesn't know there's anything wrong.
514936
Wow!  You are in for a battle.  Call the child support office first.  If they can't or won't help you, you'll probably have to get an attorney.   If you're really owed the money, don't let them keep it.   It CAN be done.   Good lluck
16454
First let me say that I have it on both ends.  I collect child support, and I help my husband with the child support he has to pay.  Now in answer to your question, CHILD SUPPORT is just that.  You are paying that money to support that child.  The courts set an amount that is what should be paid.  Anything you give over that amount is considered a gift.  You are not obligated in any way to give more than that amount.  I do not ask my childrens father for another dime outside of what he is court ordered to provide.  The bottome line is this,  if you continue to cater to the person receiving the child support and give them more than what is ordered, they will think they are owed that and will continue to ask for more than the obligated amount.  My husband, as I stated, pays child support and his ex wife is always TRYING to be in his pockets.  She says the kids need this, she cant afford that.  Well he is paying his support and she is to use that money to provide for the kids needs, not hers.  So if she is blowing the CHILD SUPPORT money on herself then she is at fault.  Now if he wants to give the kids some extra money just because he wants to then that is fine.  But I will be damned if he give her money just because she says the kids need because he has already fulfilled that matter.