The invitation says "bridal tea" instead of a bridal shower.  I realize that I am expected to spend as much as I would on a gift for a shower, but does that mean no real food will be served there?
138417
i believe that it is the same as a bridal shower, more formal. they can have food, themes and the groom to be may be there. i THINK.
54854
Yes and no...traditionally, as you already know, the groom's parents throw a party in honor of the engaged couple as a chance to signal their approval of the match and to introduce the prospective bride to their friends and family she hasn't yet met....not having that, in some areas, might give rise to whispers that there is some reluctance on the part of your prospective in-laws....so if his folks want to give you a party, for heaven's sake, let them!\nThere is nothing stopping you from arranging another celebration of the engagement, but I'd ask a few close friends to put the word around that presents are not expected because it's considered tacky to appear to be throwing a party to get more gifts...same reason you can't throw your own shower.\nGood luck and best wishes for a lovely wedding and a happy marriage.
555550
We have had some very nice gifts from the bride and groom when attending out-of-town weddings, here are a few of them:\n1.) Basket filled with all little munchies and two bottles of soda\n2.) Basket filled with bath salts, combs,toothpaste etc.\n3.) Basket filled with bandaids, thread and needle, cookies,snacks and water\n4.)Colorful bag with name of Bride and Groom filled with cupcakes, twinkies, gum, mints and 2 bottles of iced tea\nAnd believe me all were appreciated very much!
277718
A friend of mine had had several bridesmaids in her wedding party that we not old enough to drink.  So instead of the bar scene, they went to a nice dinner and then saw a show.  It's not as exciting as the bar scene, but no one was left out.  Good luck!
151345
You could change the bridal shower to a shiveree--that is a party after your return from your wedding and reception in Hawaii.   It is an old custom - used a lot in the American West and not much used at present.   The advantage is that you and all your friends and your new husband's friends  could meet and have a grand time together celebrating your marriage.  Shiverees are not limited to the brides' female friends.  The object here is not so much to get gifts but to celebrate the newly wed's life together.\n\nI think you are are quite right in not wanting a bridal shower.  Talk shiveree instead.   Best wishes in your marriage.
270500
We spent around $300 a person for a five star meal (really) served by a perfect staff (also really!), amazing setting, open bar, tons of paired wine and champagne, free flowing hors d'ouvers during 'the wait' after the wedding, an amazing cake (by a Williams-Sonoma catalogue chef), gorgeous flowers, a DJ, an Oleg Cassini dress, and a few other little frills.  \n\nI have to say that if you do nothing else, remember that your guests are just that, guests.  Treat them as such.  Either have a limited open bar (pick a few theme drinks like a Mojito and Margarita) or have bottles of wine on the tables.  Spend less on centerpieces and 'favors' and instead put it towards better food and a hosted bar.  \n\nCongratulations on your engagement and good luck in your marriage! : )
338292
you CAN def. do this! it will take a bit more time- so you need help. friends and family. \n*draw up a budget ASAP. $7000 total (probably $3000 will be for food and drink) reception location $500. flowers $1000. $250 dress - $900 dj/music etc.  \n*keep the guest list to a min. If you have a guest total of 75- you can get decent food at $30 per person and the rest for drinks.\nAlso keep the bridal party small. \n*host a cocktail and light buffet reception instead of a full meal. this can come off really swanky- like a high-class uptown loft party.\n*skip the party favors. go for candy treats your guests can eat. most of the time the little frames and bells etc. just get thrown away by guests anyway.\n*ASK questions. When you call a vendor- let them know you are on a budget. Oftentimes if they can't help you- they know someone who can.\n*Make your own centerpieces out of a candlescape. Florist centerpieces run about $50 per table. You can do them yourself for around $25. \n\n*Oh- one thing I wouldn't skimp on is the photog. Your photos will be the only things left after the wedding is over. the flowers will wilt. your dress will be stored. the cake will be gone etc. but the photos will last a lifetime.\n\ngood luck! and remember to have fun w/ it. planning your wedding should be half the fun! :D
627417
If the guys went in on the gift... and it's for the couple not just the bride... than give it to her at the rehearsal... have the best man and the maid of honor during the toasts tell them "your bridal party got together to give you this..."  Either that or just attatch a card that all of you signed and put it with the rest of the gifts at the wedding... when they open the rest of the gifts they will get the gift from all of you. \nDon't give it at the shower because the husband and the groomsmen won't be there...
348489
gift basket w/ lotions, bath gel, chocolates, makings for hot chocolate or tea... throw in a dainty china cup and saucer.....\n\nWrite a handwritten note, encouraging friend to take the contents of this basket and sneak away from the cares of life to relax and reflect on love, life and happiness.\n\nBe Blessed!
54707
I just went to a bridal shower and they had some cute activities that were fun -- and not embarrassing for anybody.\n\nBuy some cheap plastic wedding rings (the kind that are sometimes used to decorate favors). Give each woman a ring when they arrive and tell them if someone catches them saying the word "love" during the shower, they get the ring. At the end of the shower, whoever has the most rings wins a prize.\n\nBefore the shower, ask the bride for a word, associated with wedding, that starts with each letter of the alphabet. At the shower, give each woman a piece of paper with the letters printed down the side (and a pencil/pen). They are to write the word that they thought the bride said. Whoever has the most correct words wins.\n\nThis activity was a lot of fun, if you have enough women to participate. Divide them into groups of 4 or 5 and separate them. Then give each group 4 rolls of toilet paper, some ribbon, and some elastic bands (or anything you have handy). Each group is to pick someone to be the "bride" and dress her (using the toilet paper and ribbons) as they think the bride will look on her wedding day. The bride picks the team that she thinks did best and each member of the team gets a small prize. This is a great one as an icebreaker. Lots of fun. Be sure to have a camera ready!
133312
I've never heard of a semi-informal party. But since isn't strictly a social event (because it's being held by your partner organization), I suggest you not bring any gift. It's not clear if there is a "real" host or hostess as there would be in a purely social event. And customs can vary widely from culture to culture. Rather than risk offending someone, go empty-handed. (And definitely do NOT bring dessert or any other food! You would only do that if the host or hostess was a really close personal friend and you had arranged beforehand to bring food. Otherwise, it's a breach of etiquette -- at least in the U.S.)
652838
I think your friend is right, you should send the invitations off early. There's no telling how many of your friends might be under the influence of paying bills, rent, or etc and money situations may be alittle short for some reason.  Jus give em a extra week or 2 too save up for the big bash.       (HAPPY B-DAY)
300831
Wow, I turned to this question because I have never heard of these "money bags" and I was curious. What a tacky, rude, truly awful idea! Inviting people to a celebration, and then trying to shake them down for cash is unspeakably vile! If what you are is hosting a fundraiser, rather a reception, then word your invitations accordingly. \n\nWhew! And now that I have that off my chest, a short word of advice. Do not allow florists, dressmakers, caterers, printers, magazines, and other purveyors of bridal merchandise to tell you what is "correct" -- these people are interested in selling you goods, not in helping you.\n\nTurn to Miss Manners. Her real name is Judith Martin. Her books are in public libraries and book stores. She will save you HUNDREDS of dollars.
667912
Ok Im the Boyfriend just to let everyone know and no Im not cheap and taste is the thing Im concerned about, see I really like yellow box cakes with choclate frosting so if we can have a wedding cake thats going to total about 85 dollars for a big as* box cake to be made at a bakery why not. Alot of people go pay 2 to 500 for a cake and then alot of people wont like the cake because its more cosmetics than anything else. Everyone likes yellow cake for the most part, kool aid also, what else are you going to get for everyone including little kids to drink besides a bunch of punch. I dont see why everyone gets caught up in this "I have to spend big bucks for the wedding or it wont be special" thing. I'm more of a "I have to spend big bucks on a house, ring or honeymoon or it wont be special" type of person. The wedding is only one day and sure its supposed to be memories but tell me this, will you really be able to tell its kool aid or a box cake (Cooked by bakery still looks like a regular wedding cake) in the pictures??? No, will you be able to tell that your honeymoon wasnt anywhere special in the pictures, YES and same goes for the house. Really in a couple of years are your kids really going to give a dam if Mommy and Daddy had a low budget wedding when your staying in a big as* house??? I think not, and in a few years is it still going to be that big a deal to you that your willing to take a couple of steps back on the size of the house or the neighborhood just for a glitzy wedding. If so you got your head in the wrong place. Personally I would rather just the wedding really low budget and put a extra 10 grand on a downpayment for a house that ups the price of your house $50 to 100,000 in most places. Thats all I had to say and hopefully you people will stop trying to live like movie stars for a wedding and try to live like them with the more important things (HOUSE!!!!!)\nAND WHO SAID THE WEDDING DAY WAS THE WOMANS DAY I DIDNT REALIZE SHE WAS THE ONLY ONE GETTING MARRIED!!!!!!!!!!!!!
652777
Don't worry, you are not being rude, your friend is.  She might be being a bit thoughtless because she's busy arranging her wedding.  Gift vouchers are perfectly appropriate.  Just give as much as you can afford and include a card with some heartfelt words about how much your friend means to you and how glad you are that she's getting married.
337856
A nice card would work.  If you aren't that close or don't plan to be a nice card wishing them all the best is proper. Please send in the RSVP card very soon letting them that you will not be there so they won't spend the money for a place setting for you at the reception.
124103
I am not sure if this is the same thing as a "come and go" event, but we have a very large family and often hold what we call "open houses".  I advise a 2-3 hour time frame for the event.  Refreshments can be very simple, especially if you hold the shower during the afternoon hours of 2-5 or 1-4 since this is after lunch and before dinner.  Use small plates, 6 or 8 inch and provide finger foods - fresh veggies with dip, cut-up fresh fruit, small appetizers such as little quiche or little sausages wrapped around crescent roll dough.  Dessert can be sugar cookies made in hearts with the wedding date or bride and groom's names written on them.  Miniature cupcakes would be cute, too.  Provide something that will "unite" all the guests since they won't all be there at the same time.  Maybe provide a recipe card and a 3x5 card in each guest's invitation.  Have them bring a favorite recipe on the recipe card and some "advice" for the happy couple on the 3x5 card.  Have a pretty basket available to put the card in.  As each guest leaves, give them something small as a momento since you won't be able to do much in the way of games.  Perhaps a small votive candle or a little potpourri wrapped in tulle and ribbon that match the colors of the bride's colors.  After the party, as the bride-to-be unwraps each gift, take a digital or poloroid picture of her with the gift and send it in the thank-you card to the giver.  Make sure everyone has a name tag since the guest list is large.  Another option may be to consider a different venue for the party.  A church social hall, a school gym or cafeteria, a park with a gazebo, someone's back yard, may be possibilities to allow all guests to be there at the same time.  Also, if you have anyone nice enough to ask what they can do to help, be sure to accept their offer and see if they can either help set-up or clean-up or perhaps bring a veggie tray or make cookies.  This will help financially and will be less stress for you.