My husband seems to have to watch tv during dinner all most every day.  It drives me nuts!!  He says it's relaxing to him and if I bring it up, we just fight.  We also have a 7 year old son.  Is this "normal" or "ok" for a family to do?  How many of you do this and how often??
131085
Dinner should be family time. Instead of arguing over this, try to compromise. Ask him to simply give up ONLY one night a week of watching TV to eat dinner at the table with the family and the rest of the week, he can spend watching TV and you will stop "bugging" him about it. When things get better, take a baby step and move to 2 nights a week. Progress slowly. And if he truly cares and wants to make you happy, he will give up ONE measly night of TV to eat dinner with his wonderful family. \n\nMake dinner exciting with a variety of delicious food and have a fun conversation. Make sure you talk about something fun and not stressful. Or esle he'll go back to the TV.
517337
Wow...my husband could have wrote this...\n\nI have been married seven years (have two children ages 6 and 2) and have become separated (haven't filed for divorce yet)...for me the sex was always bad (and I do love it...which is something he would never believe).  I will say you do a lot more than he ever did but it doesn't sound like you guys are going down the right path...you are not doing anything wrong, it is her.  I know you love her but you have to stop most of the things (the dates, flowers, etc...) they are just a waste right now...she is a full time housewife so the fact that she is not even cleaning etc... sound to me she might be depressed (how is she with the kids)...she sounds like me almost 100% (I should mention that I work FULL TIME...always did since my kids were 3 months old both) but instead of watching tv till 1am I would rather play poker or be on the computer (which pisses him off)...for him I am always tired he says, but when it comes to other people or things he says I have energy...which I guess is true.  \n\nYou're gonna have to sit her down and have a really good talk with her or go for some marriage counseling before it is too late...\n\nE-mail me if you want to talk...
190273
If my hubby tried to do that to our son, he would wish like hell he didn't. He'd be finding out real fast I don't play that and he's lost his damn mind if he thinks I'm going to keep quiet about it and step back. I'd fight him first and I fight to win especially when it comes to my kids.
439503
Wow, and I thought it was just our family! \n\nI hate all that. It's why I don't see them more than I do. So little of what is argued about seems worth the trouble. Without the trivial stuff, my family would argue that there is nothing to argue about! So, I enjoy Thanksgiving on my own. I shop, eat out, see friends (who do NOT argue about trivial stuff), and basically enjoy time off work. Thanksgiving is now a relaxing day, and I have the peace of mind to give thanks for my blessings, rather than wish I were somewhere else. Hope you have a blessed Thanksgiving!
78593
I have much REspect for you.Please be STRONG for your children!I am a married woman.I'm 34(he's 35)and I have been with my spouse since high school(15yrs old)!Lately,I have been thinking Alot about divorce!We have had our share of problems in this marriage!(we've cheated,seperated,etc!)Please don't fill like a Failure!You are a mother!Although you may not be a wife,anymore.A mother is the most IMportant thing you could ever do in your life!And you should REspect yourself for that!I have two beautiful daughters as well(ages 12&8).And,they do not want me to seperate from their father.However,I am not happy.I am miserable.It really seems as if we have grown apart throughout the years!Although he will NOT admit it.And he will not leave!Because,he would have to go and live with his mother.He was laid off,collected UNemployment for 6 mths.Now,He has ZERO income.But,it's not even about the money.I have a decent Income.But my money goes I pay all of the bills,etc,etc!With no help from him.He ignores me alot lately.He yells at me if I ask him when he's gonna start to look for employment.We do not sleep together,anymore.(Rarely)!But yet,I won't get rid of him because I am AFRAID!I am afraid of being alone!I am afraid of being a single mom!I do NOT have much support!No family or friends that wanna hear about it!My only family is my mother and she flips out when I mention his name!Because she despises him.And thinks he is an UNfit father and husband,she has even tried to fiX me up with others.Don't get me wrong,He has worked in the past.But there aren't alot of great jobs here in our area.But I thought since he isn't working he would help me around the house more!He does a lil bit but NOT much!He just sleeps constantly,OR plays that damn XboX,or watches Tv 24-7!And it is starting to drive me crazy!We could be tottaly broke need gas,need bread and milk,everything.And he would sit all day and play xbox/or watch tv and act like everythings all good??Please is anyone else out there eXperiencing this with their man/hubby?I would love to hear from you!I would go craZy without this site!lol.I am so ready to call it quits!But,I am just so afraid of being alone.But,It would be so GREAT to find a man who loves me like I love him!One who works,likes the outdoors,fishes,hunts,etc,etc!And one who is good with children!Believe me hun,they are out there!They are just hard to find!But,don't give up!Pray!I bet you time will heal the hurt you are feeling now!And,when you do meet someone else you'll be ready!And hopefully happier than you ever were with him!And I agree with the above look into some support groups they will definately help you!(maybe I should take my own advice,huh?lol)Plus,you may meet someone there you never know.Or at least make some NEW friends!Hey GOOD luck to you!And hey your not all alone dear!You do have us!lol Even though it's just a website.We are all here to help you and give you advice!Sometimes I think I would rather be ALone!Than be with someone who is abusive.And makes me feel Unloved,UNwanted and Neglected!But then again,I might freak out(seriously!)I am just so dependant on him.Even though the marriage is done.And it's stale.I continue to stay?Yes,I am in counseling.But, no that hasn't helped much either!I am on anti depressants,and a whole bunch of other meds.But,I still feel the same.Maybe I'm too afraid to be loved?I don't know what it is anymore.But think of it this way,At least you can be proud of yourself for standing on your own two feet,and raising your children!May I ask why you got divorced after so many years together?Was it your idea or his?If you don't mind sharing.I am really curious about what happened?Thanks!Take Care and good luck to you and the kids!
250365
I have had to go out of town for a few days leaving the kids with my husband.  He thought he could do it just fine.  When I came home he just hugged me and said "how in the hell do you do it??"  I just laughed at him.  he never took my job for granted again.  Now when he gets home he cooks and lets me sit and relax because he knows I am exhausted.\n\nSo to answer your question, I say go out of town for a few days and see what he says when you get home.  This is something that they cant understand till they are in your shoes.
322832
Honestly, as a wife and mother, I would have a problem with this too. If you are home, there should be no reason that you can't put your baby to bed yourself. If your older son doesn't mind, I think it would be okay once in a while, but for the most part, it is something you should be doing. I work nights also, three days a week, so I'm not home to put my children to bed, and it makes me sad. I feel that is a great bonding time for a parent and child.
229045
Depends on the circumstances. My husband and I have an 18 month old so as soon as our son falls asleep (nap times included) I normally let him know that little monster is tucked away.  Some days I'm more subtle, like a few soft kisses after I've turned off the T.V.  Others I'm more direct, like walking into our bedroom in something sexy or maybe nothing at all.  Fortunately my husband loves making love as much as I do, so it doesn't take much for him to get the hint.
311458
I am 32 and have been married to the same man since I was 19.  I had my first child @ 20 and second @ 23.  I work when I can, but with my hubbys job, sometimes I have to stay home.  I like having dinner ready for him.  Its not a bargain.  It is in the vows we take in our wedding.  When I am sick, he takes care of me and vice versa.  You can only speak for yourself, and that is good enough.  Have fun now, while you can, and save the dinner fixin' for later in life.
581613
who cares what others think? I'm 20 and watch Blue's Clues, Sesame Street, and Rugrats... ect.,\n- wasting your time? Nothings too important you can't spare a half hour to an hour in the morning. \n-no, if you have a kid then go ahead, if you're married see if your hubby also would sit there and watch it without annoying you but why ruin your 'moment' of alone time with the dinosour?\n-hey, I'm living at home, rent is too high and will continue to live at home for a while, nothing to be ashamed about.\n- let them stare, throw something at them or make funny faces... maybe you should pick your nose?
430269
the microwave--stupid as this sounds-it has changes everything about the way we eat and shop and family relations. sure it is great-especially since there are so many families with both parents  working. Gone are the days of shopping for fresh produce ect..no more butcher shops-we eat more unhealthy processed foods because it is easier to just pop a complete meal in the microwave. Everyone tends to eat on the run now--mom (or dad) no longer spend time in the kitchen preparing and cooking from scratch.We also don't sit down everynight at the dinner table together as a family-hence less communication between us all. A lot is lost in losing that experience EVERYDAY....now some families still sit down together everyday and the other things as well--but if you ever did a survey you would find they are far and few--everyone is too busy--and that little microwave as much as I love it has taken alot away from us.....
394772
It's a great question.\n\nI really believe that if we did not have tv, we would be doing exactly the same thing our great-great-great grandfathers were doing.\n\nWe would all as a family be standing around the piano singing Michael Jackson songs - or basically trying to copy anything that we hear on the radio.\n\nWe would be more healthy as well.  It's not so fun sitting on the couch with no tv and remote-control.\n\nWe will probably have a great national football team to this day, if there was no tv as more people would get off their fat arses and run on a field with a ball.\n\nInfact, thank you for asking this.  I'm going to switch my tv off.  I'm not even watching it!  How sad is that?
273564
My marriage for sure - seems there's never enough time to spend time together.  \n\nI also feel like I neglect my kids, while I'm doing housework.  But, I guess they COULD help me so that I get done faster & then we'd have more together time.  I don't feel guilty when I say "Hey, lets go to the show, or out to eat" and neglect housework/other things for the evening.  That stuff can usually wait!!
419114
I'd get up and leave the room. With that said.  My son says my hubby and I fight alot, and to us we are not fighting.  We are discussing different things and giving our points of view to each other.  Usually we don't raise our voices and maybe it would be considered bickering by some.  But really it is harmless.  So I wouldn't worry about the divorce issue.  If they say they wouldn't get divorced than believe them.  No sense worrying about it until it really happens.  \n\nOn the other end of it.  It is not fair for either of them to ask you to side with them.  But maybe they are trying to get you in on a discussion.  Make it a family thing?\n\nGood luck.
502962
My mother-in-law told my husband and I she was not doing Thanksgiving or Christmas this year because of money, because her diabetes is getting worse and because she is tired of her son eating and running.  She does not take into account that her son works at night and has to sleep during the day.  She fixes the meal according to her schedule only.  Since she told us she wasn't cooking, we made our own pans to invite my brother over, as he has no other family in the area except us.  My husband told his mother when she asked later if we ever made other plans.  He told her and she got ill.  She went off on him because her, her husband, and her mother  weren't invited over.  He tried to explain that the seating just isn't there and she said we'd have to make our own plans.  Now she is doing nothing but laying guilt trips on him and it's working...to a point.  She will never change.  Part of it is because she is selfish and needy, though perfectly capable.  She is also jealous because he doesn't spend as much time kissing her butt.   \n\nYou are not alone.  It will either blow over or it won't.  You and your husband need to come up with a plan for the holidays.  The one you have sounds like a good one.  Either alternate holidays each year at her house and your mother's, or do Thanksgiving at your mom's/Christmas at his mom's this year.  Next year swap out.
486643
After having our little girl, my boyfriend and I have a hard time getting private time together considering he has a full time job and I work part time. So we plan a day off together as a family day one week, then the next week we get a sitter, which is either his mom or my mom, and go out to eat or dance, or both. Also, I keep a small tote in my bathroom with tiny candles, massage oil, bath beads, ect.. for myself when i need to relax after my little girl goes to sleep. Maybe you could use one of your own for some night when the both of you are home and the kids are in bed, maybe just share a hot relaxing bath together? I hope these ideas help.
356599
Girl, ur not alone on that boat! my man works 20 hours per day. I am serious, no weekends no dinner parties, except when we have to go visit his parents. He works even when he sleeps. He, like been dreaming about some new contracts and a trip to Zurich....one night he said: "please Mr. Gray, you can see our new presentation. It will be send to you frist thing tomorrow morning!" He was writing this thing for weeks......o gosh, I love to have some more time with my man but he works sooo much. You know what is the worst with us. He says he does this for US, so that in a few years I can stay at home taking care of our kids adn having a blue Martini by the pool. Good luck sista, you need to get in a language school, cooking class, yoga and a few more tings to keep yourself occupied. Or if he can afford it just get his visa card and go to shopping!!!!