I'm going away to rehab and I'm afraid to let some people know.. How can I do this without making any of my friends or relatives feel wierd about the whole situation?
133850
Just do what you have to do.  No one has to know your business but you and God and whoever else is assisting you.  If your friends were true to you, they would have been rehab themselves.  You owe no explanation, just do it.  GOOD LUCK. I am proud of you already, that is a first step.
562847
leave the room and then politely and privately alert them to what you just wrote...youre doing nothing wrong by choosing not to hear about someones personal private life especially at your age
883
me as a people person i would go up to the friends thats being bad and talk to them if you listen and try to hammer in that you are listining people will talk they may have some bad pent up feelings that just came out that way. so talk is all i can say.
177611
i think u should be honest..tell him exactly wat u've told us..if u want even mail him this question..show him how much u care for him..that u want others help in order not to hurt him..don't accuse him just ask him if he's happy where he's staying..no one reacts well wen being accused or screamed at..try to remember that..hope he opens his eyes to wats happening..take care
219509
I can understand the fear of professionals,the fear of it being put on record,or being registered as a drug user,there are groups like NA he could go to, perhaps a friend could go with him coz if he is suffering with paranoia its difficult to put yourself in positions where it could make him feel worse,so having someone he trusts there to help him might be a good idea, you dont have to tell them you're name, even use an alias,the drinking doesnt help,i pressume this is to give him some confidence?  Is there anything he likes to do,sports or any other activities,if so then he might try first to cut down on how much he smokes and fill his time doing something he enjoys,the drink is a serious problem, especially the amount he is drinking, sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind, hard care sometimes works, i smoked loads when i was 14 until 25,and my family threatened to disown me as they felt they had done all they could,but i dont agree, i think if you care about someone, you should always be there for them, through thick and thin, and try to empathise,or sympathise with what they are going through,listen to them,im sure when they are ready to give up they will appreciate the help and support you and others gave him. Because of the fear of professionals rehab would not be an option, but i would advise him to look for groups such as NA or any others try yellow pages, the only other option is cold turkey.  Good luck i hope you find a way to stop.
297569
Lol that's funny! Well, it's really no one's business what's going on with your body.  Just say, "Don't worry about it, let's go play kickball!" Change the subject or be direct and tell them it's personal! Giving out too much information about yourself makes you come off as not valuing yourself.
628263
I know exactly what you mean. I'm 26 and have had to perform a major life overhaul myself.  I got to the point that i did'nt want to hang out with a bunch of people that drank and got high all day and really did'nt have anything to offer.  I cut them all off except for 2 friends.  I got new friends.  It's hard cause people are going to say that you're stuck up or you think you're better than everybody else but the truth is.....These people don't have anything to do with you.  They don't pay your rent, they don't buy your clothes, they don't put gas in your car and they don't have anything to offer you anymore.  \nIt's a good thing that you want to be more mature.  It shows you're ready for personal growth and advancement.  As far as your bestfriends ex.....Refuse to have that person in your sphere.  You always have control on who you want to be in your personal space.  If that person shows up...Bounce!  Don't allow that person in your home, in your car or at your table.  If they wanna know why...Tell 'em.  You annoy me, I don't like you and your values don't mesh with mine and I find you offensive.  You have the right not to be bothered by people.  Stand up.  You'll be fine.  Best of luck.
502971
Yes I have and I played the role like everything was fine out in public and behind closed doors I was a mess. I cried for no reason and stopped taking phone calls from friends and never left my house nor let any one in. I can say that I'm finally coming out it and realizing that you can't do it alone. You really do need positive people in your life and you need prayer. When yo surround your self with positive prayful people who truley have your best interest at heart that tends to bring you out of your funk. I'm thankful everyday for my life and for God giving us Jesus. Be thankul for you life and for having this moment to make a difference. I think if you actually find soemthing to make your life meaningful whether it's voluteering in a food bank or just giving back to the community in some way; it should make you feel happy and blessed and hopefully help you realize that your life is great. You're alive you have access to a computer, you can read as well as write. Just that right there makes you better off than a whole lot of people. Love yourself and love your life right now because you never know when it may end; so give them something to talk about.  I love you in Christ and I wish you healing and blessings.
80843
No way, don't tell them. I have a mental illness (not one that's going to affect anyone else) but still, it's my own business. I haven't told my employer. It's true, people will judge you even though they are not legally allowed to. It's hard enough to deal with a mental illness without worrying all day at work what your boss is thinking of you. When I was at high school many people knew about my illness, but it was such a relief to go to uni because i didn't tell anyone and nobody knew, i felt relieved in the fact that no one was judging me and I didn't have to feel uncomfortable whenever the topic of mental illness came up in classes at uni. I didn't have to feel like everyone was staring at me. \nI'd say keep it to yourself.
156553
It's not good to tell your business OR hang with a lot of people. Miscommunication comes in to play, and the one to be blamed will be YOU. It's good to keep to yourself or if you are in a relationship, that person should be your best friend and the only one, other than family, that you should confide in.
249393
I haven't been to OA, but I have gone to another 12 step group. She should think about and decide (you too if you go) if you want to identify yourself as an "addict" or not because everyone else will. If you aren't comfortable with doing so, you don't have to. You want what you say to come from the heart, so don't be afraid of standing out and appearing different from other people. They'll be fine with it. No one will push you to do anything you don't want to do. At least, they shouldn't. (I've used "you" to refer to your sister from here on out. It's easier that way.) \n\nThere is an OA book, I believe, like a manual, you can buy. Try searching the web or Amazon. It may be good to look at before you go to a meeting. \n\nMeetings are all different. Some are more structured than others. There is a speaker, and a time to "get current" when you discuss your recent temptations, etc. You can try different meetings around you to get a feel for what "fits."\n\nJust remember that you don't have to feel locked into doing or saying anything you are uncomfortable with, even though everyone is doing it. You (or she) can always "pass" if the discussion is going around a circle or something. It seems so foreign and structured at first, but after awhile you get used to it and that becomes comfortable because you know what to expect. \n\nI like 12 steps, though I haven't been going to my meetings recently. I've been "sober" for over a month now and wouldn't have been if I hadn't gotten involved in 12 step. It does work for some people. I wish her the best.
16703
Something sad happened in your past. And i am sure you got all  the pity you could take from close and not so close people. But life goes on. You have new sorrows and new happy moments. So there is really nothing weird in telling people about it. I am sure you appear fine to them, so they have no reason to feel sorry for you.
135599
Do the whole world a favor and turn this person in to the proper authorities. It isn't fair to the folks who are going to rehab to end up with a counselor who isn't honest about THEIR sobriety. There are those who take all that as a joke, but it isn't a joke to ones who are serious about getting their lives back under control! Let this person find another line of work (preferrably one that is legal) and stop the fronting.
222886
if this happened to you i would seek professional advice and get some support. it can be very traumatic and you will need all the support you can get. you wont end up on drugs or a bad person because of this as long as you choose not to go that way.
368086
if i have a problem i need to share it with a friend or i die. but after that i am worry that they tell my secret or they use it to make me feel worse. i don't trust human beings but i know i can't live alone...so ...
191263
People here have given you a lot of good advice.  I just wanted ot add that you are not an "idiot" because you are reacting to things that happened to you (and are still happening to you).  Also, you don't owe anyone an explanation of what is "wrong" with you - unless it's someone who you trust and you want to talk about it.  The problem is that a lot of people who have been victimized end up talking about it either not at all or talking about it to the wrong people.  The key is to get the RIGHT help.\n\nI'm sure that you have heard of PTSD or "Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder."  Your experiences in your family and at the nursing home could have caused this and having your "nerves on edge" and feeling scared are symptoms of this problem.  If your therapist doesn't know what to do, get a therapist who specializes in PTSD.  I am a social worker and used to be totally against medication, but in a situation like yours, I think you could see pretty quick improvement with a combination of good therapy and short-term use of medication (just to stabilize your mood so you can work on the issues). \n\nI know from my own experience and from just being around a lot of nurses, social workers, etc. that people who have grown up with trauma and drama seek that out.  HOWEVER, if I was your therapist, I would not advise you to be working in the environment you are in right now.  I admire you for wanting to help others, but you have to help yourself first.  \n\nI don't know how your medical/mental health system works, but is it possible to take "Stress-Related Disability" or just "Medical Disability" from work?  That way, you can still have some income coming and, since you were attacked at work, your workplace should be financially responsible to help you "get better" and to hold your job for you if you still want it at some point.  I could go on and on.  \n\nI just hope you can feel how much people care by all the people here who have written to you and I hope you can try to get some small belief that life can be better - that's all it takes is that tiny bit of hope to hang in there.  Please take care of yourself...
445691
In my experience alcohol can definitely assist people in doing things they wouldn't normally do without alcohol in their system.  I don't think you would do anything stupid because of the fact that you are aware of this fear you have of acting innapropriate.  It's the chance we all take when hanging out with friends who are drinking, that they may do something they wouldn't normally do.  If she is a true friend she will laught with you and tell you to stop your just being drunk.  If your obnoxious when you get drunk however she may not want to hang out with you anymore.  Maybe you should just be honest with her and get it out in the open so that you both may enjoy the evening and you already know how she would react.  She may surprise you and tell you that she would be delighted to make out with you.  '-)