my mom always wants my brother and i to get alone, not like we hate each other or something, we are just not close . however my mom always reminds me if one day she and my dad die, my brother will be the only one i can 100% trust. but he is the most square person i have ever met, i really want to slap him and tell him to chill. worst of all, he only acts like that in front of me and his gf. for instance, he wants me to be poliet to him ALL THE TIME, if i don't, then he "reminds" me until he gets mad. And he says "jokes", which sometimes aren't even funny, but only he can say funny things. if i make fun, then he reminds me how rude i am.it makes me mad just to think about him, he is so controlling,which he doesn't admit.i don't really want to talk to him...why?cause he never listens.i know i am not the best human being or little sister,but he bit*h so much that i start doubting myself. it really bothers me that logically i need to be his sister,and by heart says different.am i horrible?
138506
I was kind of like your brother when I was younger.  The good news is that both of you will change a lot as you get older so even though you don't like him very much now, he'll someday be one of your best friends.\n\nNo, it doesn't mean that you're horrible.  He irritates the poo out of you (and probably does more than a little of it on purpose) and you find that irritating.  That doesn't make you horrible--it makes you normal.  Good Luck!
531324
I understand what you're going through. And I hope that you will find something, someday that will make it all dissappear.\n\nAs harsh as I may sound, I don't think your sisters reaction is normal. She is being overly zealous. May be she should have herself checked out also. \n\nAlso, do you fight a lot. Is this just mere sibiling rivalry. Have you tried winning her affection?. If this is not the case, i suggest talking to your parents about your sister, and she might want to visit a behaviour consultant.
361024
tell your mom he makes you feel uncomfortable- you like him and everything but sometimes he gives you a weird impression that doesnt seem right. ask him if she will tell him to give you somes space for awhile.  also. when you are home alone be careful- if he does make you uncomfortable tell him strait up that you feel awkward.
84463
I would only say something if you really feel the need to stand up for your brother, I would do it with them both standing right there so that way there is no he said she said crap going on between them talking about you. I would only do that under extreme cercumstances though. It matters how close you are over all to your brother, I mean if you can talk to him about anything i would definitally say something to him in private, something like dude is it just me or do you seem unhappy here lately, not really blameing her but if it is because of her he will come out and say so, if he asks you what you think i would go ahead and tell him but in the long and short of it if she makes him eat dog food on the floor every night for dinner and he still loves her, support him in his pick for a future wife. You might not like how she treats him over all but it looks like he does, maybe you havent gotten to know her well enough yet, Or maybe he hasnt, who knows. But i would definitally deal with this in a tender way, maybe your mom or dad can say something to him, or you can go to them and voice your concerns, they could probably get away with saying something to him easier then you could. I dont know ive never really been in that situation but i can see it going bad easily if its not delt with care :) I hope that helps
169840
i am all for the "find a better guy and make him jealous" thing, but it puts you in a pickle with him being your brothers friend, and if you do anything to upset this guy your brother might get ticked off at you.(because that is how men are) i suggest talking to your brother and finding out what the deal is whether or not this dude is in to you or if he is slow-playin. then i would tell him (brother) that this dude really upset you because of the way he treated you. and if your lucky your brother just might have one of those "rules for dating my sister" talks with the dude.
600576
Sounds like your mom was the glue holding the family together.  It's understandable that people would fall away from each other after her passing.  It's hard to go about our daily lives knowing that we should be a familly with ALL the family, people should want to spend time with each other and talk about their lives.  At least your not alone.  My husband and his brother recently got into a huge fight with the two of them wrestling around on the floor and somebody getting hurt.  That was a few months ago, and neither of them has even tried to apologize or be the bigger man and just forgive.  It is very frustrating especially when family functions or birthday parties come along and certain people have to be left out.  It is just not fair sometimes.  Just remember you can't change other people but you can decide that no matter what your siblings do or don't do you can control yourself and your actions, and live your life, they'll either come around or they won't, if they do great, if not, forgive them, and move on.
666172
You might wanna try finding out why he feels that your mom is mental.  It could be something serious.  Or it could be some silly little thing in his head.  But you DO need to communicate with each other if it's to be resolved in any way.  Dont get caught in the middle of conflict between two people that you love.
660764
oh i have a brother that acts the exact same way\n\nsometimes it the friends this person hangs with, or it could be the kid just wants attention -- what you can do to get them to listen is just emphasize on all the good things that they've done-spend time doing some things that they want to-just don't cater to their every whim. \n\n...if they do anything drastic, i suggest therapy\n\n...and personally, i don't think it shows bad parenting because sometimes theres just nothing you can do-the kid just wants their way, & doesn't want to compromise
578967
This man does not respect you - I suspect he doesn't respect your mom either, since he hasn't changed his behavior after she talked to him. You cannot teach him to respect people, but you can make him respect you. Sometime when nothing is going on and things are completely calm (and he is sober) you need to approach him about this. Do not attack him and start an argument. Just let him know that you realize that he and your mom may well be together for some time, and you'd like to be able to reach some sort of common ground to make things better for everyone. Reassure him that you are never trying to disrespect him, and would happy if he would do the same. The fact that you are approaching the situation in such a mature fashion will make him realize how immature he is acting. Have a discussion with the man and really be honest about how he is making you feel. If he is unreceptive to all this it is time to talk to your mom. Try not to complain or whine to her, but be just as mature as you were with him. It does not matter if she gets put in the middle - she is your mother, and that's her job.
525482
Play it down, some mothers push their daughters into relationships and maybe your mom thought because he was at your place for Thanksgiving that the relationship is more than what you both want it to be.  Next time you see him just tell him your mom does that to you all the time to pressure you into forming a long term relationship.  Bye the way I find it a bit odd that your guy would take it so seriously, so he must be leary of committment to a certain extent.  Play the whole situation down and for your own sake ease off on the guy for a while if he really likes you he'll come around.  I feel badly for you though, it must have been embarassing. One other thing I'd have a chat with your mom and ask her to please never to put you in that position again.  Just tell her that you'll let her know when she's allowed to tell someone your dating that she loves him, sounds as if she was inviting him to be the "SON IN LAW" and he probably freaked.  Good luck
173263
I am still young, but my father is always saying I cannot stand when my father tells me those story I have heard them a thousand times. But my father is just like his dad and tells my siblings and I the same story over and over again. And when we tell our dad he just like his father he gets all grouchy saying no I am not. It funny, cause kids really turn into there parents.
137994
Your mother is still a human being, she may think you hate her, and imagine if the person you love more than anything started hating you.  How would you feel?  My mother and I have a very rocky past, but In the end, a simply, tear-filled, "I love you" gets the point across.  It sounds like she has her hands full with the house, and is hurt about how you acted.  On the other hand, it also sounds like she isn't quite as forgiving as she should be.  But like I said, she is only human.  I think it is the hardest part of growing up when you find out your mom isn's SuperMom, but a person with her own doubts and feelings.  Hug her, tell her you love her, and walk away.  Just walk away and let her calm down.  Clean a bit, but do it when she isn't looking, since you don't want her to think you are only doing it to get on her good side.  You aren't.  You are doing it because you care...
520236
She does sound crazy. Why does she think that you are your mum don't like her, you both obviously like her before she started making up all this rubbish. Also I don't understand why your brother is on her side when she is telling lies about you. Have either you or your mom ever said anything negative about her when he was around?\n\nThe point is you have tried talking to her, at this point I think its best that you just ignore and leave her and your brother alone to get on with things. The thing is do you think that at a later date if she ever splits with your brother she might blame it on you and your mum saying that they never liked me and that it why we broke up. Just something to bear in mind, considering this she is already telling other people that you both don't like her
160990
Sounds like he may be scared of your brother for whatever reason. Most brothers are protective of their sisters. I know I am. But, you had it worse: your brother was friends with your ex. So, maybe this guy was scared of a double beat down. Or, the other possibility is this: he may not have really liked you but was being polite when he cuddled with you or he freaked when you cuddled and didn't know what to do. Then, at the last minute he realized he made a mistake by leading you on and freaked out, like most idiot guys do. Instead of just talking to you about it, he ran to your brother to tell him nothing happened and in his own juvenile way, he saved himself the agony of having to tell you he lead you on and used your brother as an excuse!!
49918
Don't try to put it on yourself.  Many women simply cannot stand to be alone.  I have two young girls and after what your mother has been through I can see why you don't want her dating.  She needs to learn to be hgappy alone before bringing another man into her and you and your siblings lives.  Non the less, she may feel like she needs a man in her life to be complete.  She is a grown woman and unfortuantely won't heed your caution.  Be patient, try having one of her female friends talk to her, they may be able to get through.
437272
perhaps he is overwelmed with the responsibility, and is afraid of loosing you. he should consider anger management and some therapy if u wanted to try and work it out. depends if this behavior has surfaced before, or is it the first time. there is no excuse for him trying to hurt you mom, u need to confront him, tell him how u feel, and than wait for his response.
134198
It sounds like there is a lot of sibling rivalry going on.  Your mom may have too much for her to handle- not your fault, and probably not completely hers. The drug addict alcoholic brother NEEDS more attention, so she gives it to him- that dont measn she loves you less (although it has happened before like that- I cant say from your question alone) SHE probably looks at you like the responsible one, and that you need less attention.\n\nIf you talk to her and express your concerns, maybe you will realize that she loves you very much and is very proud of you.  Maybe she feels like you were the one who grew up right out of them all. Maybe she dont knopw that you feel the way you do- and if she did, maybe she would change.  It sounds like you are hurt by all this, and you have a right to be- but do your best to reach your mom by communicating. Try your best to develop the relationship you want with your mom, eventually she will come around- and if she dont- no one can say you didnt try.