She is twelve years old and very disrespectful to adults and is really that way to me.  Sometimes I get so mad that I feel like I have to leave to keep from hurting her or telling her about herself. Noone has said anything to her and she is aloud to say anything that comes to her mind and she talks to me like I am her equal.  She is taller than me a little (I am 5 foot even) and it is hard because I have a son that six months old now and I don't want him to think that he can treat me the same way when he is older.
136565
Talk to your fiance about the situation and your feeling's. Explain that you don't think that the niece will be a good influence on your son.
337015
Let her know, calmly and respectfully, that it insults you. Then ignore the insult. If she sees you getting rattled, she will keep doing it. This happens a lot with kids who are looking for attention of any kind. If it keeps up for more than a few days, or other kids start getting involved, then you need to go to a trusted adult in the school. I hope that it does not come to that. Good luck.
255229
Welcome to puberty and life with a teenager...particularly one with a stepfather. Just be as good a parent as you can be and talk with her when she will allow conversation. In the meantime try to figure out if she reacts the way she does due to some action she feels is unjust. Discipline without a relationship never works. If she is disrupting your family life constantly you and her mom need to find out why and try to correct this even if it is with a counselor.
231074
First, I am a mother.  You need to think about what you are going to say before you say it. Remember she is the only mother you will have.  Also, try to explain to your mom how you are feeling.  This may help take away some of the frustrations you have.  I was a teenager once, I did alot of aruging with my mom as a teenager and it was about how i felt she was treating my brother a lot better than me, ect, which by the way she did, and now admits.  I ended up moving in with my dad and step monster, oops step mother, and It was find for like 4 months, then she showed her real colors.  It might not seem like it now, but try and talk with your mom, explain that you are just frustrated, and you need to tell her how you feel. I actually thought I hated my mom for many years, but now that I am older, I realize that i didn't hate her, I just did not like her actions, and the decisions she made.
306953
Awww...that is so sad. It reminds of my relationship with my sister. She is also older than me. It's about a year and a half older...Seriously, we do and don't get along. It's not like one of those sibling love and hate conflicts, where we would just fight occasionaly. It's similar to yours, too, but it's not like we hate each other guts. Though we bicker and argue pretty much every day, even on the small and petty things. And when we're like really angry (which can happen like every now...ish^^)...we like literally fight and call each other names. Like when we were younger, like around the age of six-seven ish, there was this time when she pushed me off the stairs (O.o)...and another time where she poked me near the eye with a pen. Now I have a small bump on my forehead and a dot near my eye...She is a violent one, like a bull she is....Anyway, now I'm getting off subject, even after all we do, from arguements and fights, I still actually do love her. Once in a while, we have these heart-to-heart talks, but we do and really don't know each other at all. We just get out of each other's way...most of the times at least^^...Ok, enough with my story. Hmm, well you could act out a suicide attempt- like if she hates you so much and wishes you were dead, just be like, "FINE", you want me dead. Then stomp off to the kitchen, pull out a knife, make sure she follows you and sees you. She should have a heart, and be like, what the hell are you doing or something. Then like just tell her, whilst crying, about all your problems with her and you don't understand why she is being like that....Though death is not a funny matter, so you shouldn't really do that. You can always tell your parents about the situation, though your sister might hate you even more. All in all, you can just ignore her in school and home. And if she provokes you first (MAYBE that's what she wants and is plotting) then just be like yea, I know, whatever....Try doing a guilt trip on her....Gah, so yea, this post might not have helped you at all, but hope it did. ^^ Good luck with your sis.
411497
Just because she has a house,car,husband,doesn't mean she's happy.Maybe she sees more in you than you see in yourself and perhaps she's envious of the very character you have and she attacks.You say she helped you a time ago and for this you  you feel an obligation,well that sounds like a person of morals to me and that's you.Listen,your problem is you don't think you have anything worth while to say so you just let her berate you,speak up when any one disrespects you and causes your feelings to be hurt.You have a right to defend your self no matter who is attacking you.You sound like a good person and what ever is in the your past is just that past,move on with your life with or without your friend?whatever.Don't let others tell you who you are,you really are who you want to be,that's the beauty of change.Good Luck.
505369
try to talk to her, i mean i had the same experience with my mom and isnt easy to get along but one day i told her that i wanted to tak to her seriously and i gave her my points of views, since then she respects everything i do and i thing and i respect her as well. Just try to talk with her communication is the base for a good relationship.
262199
You have been probably too lenient and do not always do what you say you will do to punish her when she is naughty.  That is my guess...At 11, children are beginning to test more and more boundaries with adults.  As her mother, if you are weak, she will learn that quickly and use it to HER advantage.  If you keep letting her be that way, she will continue to get worse.  Basically, she has no respect for you, more than likely.  You have to be make her REALIZE that YOU have the AUTHORITY...the upper hand.  She's a child, she does NOT know more than you, but if you keep letting her think so, she will keep walking all over you.  Before long, you will have NO control and MORE problems.  \nI suggest speaking to a therapist or counselor.  You can get counseling anywhere for free if you can not pay.  Ask you local  social services dept, a school representative, your doctor, someone at a church, the phone book has blue colored pages called "The Blue Pages" or "Government Pages" where you will find this kind of information.  Any one of these places, in your city or town or village, or county, can get you the help you need.\nGood luck...bad kids are not born, they are made.
350876
I have dealt with a similar situation, and I know this hurts you. First of all, even though this is easier said than done, do not take her comments to heart. They simply aren't true, and these comments have already damaged you emotionally. Secondly, if you haven't already done so, seek counseling. This should help you to keep things in perspective, and to help you know that your mother's hurtful comments do not define who you are. If you still feel rotten, you could choose just not to see her anymore. This is a tough decision, I know. She is 92, and probably won't be around too many more years. Of course this does not mean you have to take her abuse and do whatever she says. Talk to a counselor. He/she can help you decide what is best for you. Good luck, and remember. . . your mother's comments are rubbish. You know your own heart.
538458
Son's DO NOT owe their mother's anything besides love and respect...even though it doesn't sound as if she's too deserving of the respect!  Thank God your fiancee sees what's going on.  Yeah, you would think that at her age she would have reached a certain level of maturity...apparently not.  If she can't control herself she's out of the picture.  Stand your ground!!
312448
It is time to let go. Four years has given you your answer. She'll never change even if she claims she will. She sounds paranoid to me in fact, endangering her young son. You're trying to do the right thing but it is time to realise that the right thing to do now is to divorce her, get custody of your son, move on and find another woman worthy of your trust, respect and love. Don't stick around and let her scar you even more for that's just too convenient for her to do. It is not something you want your young son to think - that his dad cannot stand up for what he thinks is right and let a woman (even if it is his mom) put him down over and over again & cheat on him. I am sorry if what I said have offended you. I know you are doing this out of love but she does not deserve it and your son deserves a better mom. She lost her right to be his mother when she did what she did. Sorry. And Good Luck to You!
329793
My sister and I are three years apart and fought like cats and dogs when we were younger.  I'm 32 now and she is 29 and we are just getting to the point where we can have a conversation without jumping all over each other.  Our birthdays are only a couple weeks apart as well and we are both Aires...probably a bad combination.  I always thought that we were radically different from one another but then there are times when I wonder if it is that we are just too much alike to really be close...I'm still not sure.  \n\nWhat I am fairly sure of though, is that when sisters fight it is rarely about the thing that started the fight...she doesn't yell because you asked her to do a small favor.  She yells because there are huge under currents of emotion between the two of you that she doesn't know how to handle any better than you do.  You are two teenage girls living in the same home and there is going to be a lot of jealousy, resentment, anger, and self centered emotions coming between the two of you for a while.  The best thing you can do is give her space, you enjoy your space, and make up your mind that no matter what mean things she says you aren't going to treat her badly.  If you make up your mind that nothing she can do will make you hate her and you do your best to not say mean things to her then you have more than 50% of the control.  Know that when you get older and your parent(s) aren't around to hold the family together anymore it will be up to the two of you and any other siblings to remain close for the benefit of your children.  You can't control how she feels about you and what other issues she is having in her own head concerning you but you can decide that having a sister is more important than hating each other and not speaking for years.  \n\nSometimes you have to bite your tongue, I do it a lot with my sister, but not saying something mean is better than having her actually have a reason to be mad.  If you kill her with kindness and stay out of her way she will get over it at some point and you will have been the bigger person.
120933
That is rough. I have been there myself. If she continues to push herself on you even after you have told her no then she doesn't respect you or your feelings. She is being self centered. You make it very clear to her how it makes you feel.Tell her that if she keeps it up you will no longer be friends and you will be forced into pressing charges against her with the police for harassment.Your best bet after that is to avoid her best you can.Keep busy with other things.
89824
don't let it bother you.\nShe is feeling threatened now that you might steal her "dear little boy"..and have more influence on him..\n\nIt is common !! They start to feel jealous !
298621
NO, never allow your children to disrespect you, no matter how old they are....\n\nIt seems your daughter does not want to face the issues that are occurring with her son.  She should be grateful that someone else is trying to help her...  As much as it may hurt, because she is your daughter, you need to move on (for the time being)  believe me there will be a time that she is going to need your help....\n\nAs far as your grandson, there is not much you can do, his mother is the one who needs to deal with him. She needs to realize all the things that could happen to him and start taking charge..\n\nHowever, do not allow him (your grandson) to come into your home trying to take over or disrespect you...  If neither one can respect you as a mother or grandmother, don't allow them in your home, until they do so...  (IT IS CALLED TOUGH LOVE)  Sometimes it needs to be done...  \n\nI AM TALKING THROUGH EXPERIENCE.  I NEEDED TO DO THE SAME WITH MY DAUGHTER...\n\nAlso, pray and look to the one above.  He will help you along the way..\n\nGOOD LUCK AND GOD BLESS!
294255
I think it is commendable that you care that your sister acts like she hates you.  That shows you care about her, and I don't know you guys, of course, but I truly believe that if you just hang on and stay out of her way as much as you can, she will come around.  It might take a few years, but my daughter acted like she hated me from the time she turned thirteen until seventeen and she suddenly matured and she is thirty one now and we are the best of friends!!  Try not to take it too personally, that age is just so hard for some adolescents, too much self-doubt and pressure to fit in that family sometimes take the fallout.  Good luck!
610012
That's just wrong.  How would you feel if you knew some 40 yr. old was messing with your 19 yr. old daughter.  I would have a fit and be ready to kick some ass.  That girl is just a kid.  She hasn't reached true maturity in any way, shape, or form.  Leave the kid alone and go for a real woman.  She can never do anything for you as young as she is.  Don't ruin her life and make her a bitter young woman already.  End it as peacefully as possible so she can be with boys, yes boys, her own age.