i went out with a guy who i really liked and i thought liked me too, after 2 weeks he was like, i dont think this is gonna work, cuz im leaving the country in 5 months...i told him that we still have time and he was like no, 5 months is not enough to build a relationship. anyway, after 5 months he didnt leave, when i asked him he told me taht hes leaving in 6 months( more) which left us 1 year to have a relashionship. i tried to talk to him and see whats the real reason but he didnt say anything. i really think its stupid to stop seeing someone without even trying if its gonna work..do u think he has another reason? do u think hes right? am i making a big deal of that? its killing me! please tell me what do u think...thank you
123178
Yes you are making a big deal. Can't you take a hint? He doesn't want to be with you, I don't mean to sound like a b*tch but it's true. He's telling you "oh I'm leaving" yet he doesn't leave.\n\nJust get over him, he's too much of a damn coward to give you the real reason. Forget him.
425097
I think you guys will last for a good little while. I mean everything seems to be going well between you two. All you have to do is find time to go out with him. Ya'll needs to go a have fun,enjoy ya'll time together while ya'll still have time.But besides that everything sounds good and yes I think ya'll should last for a while....
79674
I think it important to assess how you behave in a new relationship. Are you perhaps a bit too full-on? Are you maybe even trying a bit too hard? I have a friend who is in a similar situation to you. She is a great person with a great personality but she has never managed to have a relationship that lasts more than a couple of months. Guys break it off because like your situation they like her but just feel that she's not compatible with them for a relationship. She's got loads of friends, but no boyfriend. this is because she's so outgoing and full-on. She tries hard to impress and guys just feel like they can't relax and get into a proper relationship. Shes a great laugh and really fun to be around but could they talk to her about problems? Could they share a secret with her? Could they just snuggle up with her and not have to have an exciting conversation? No. Just relax in a relationship. Don't be afraid to be a bit vulnerable and girly. let the guy take the lead a bit. Let him try to impress you. good luck.
92623
I think you are doing the right thing and just to let you know it will end soon. If you were to back off now that would defeat your whole purpose and have wasted yours and his time. I know you did not want to hear this but, there is always a but isnt there? But If you cant see him changing or being flexible enough on this subject then you may have to let him go, if you fold and let the relationship go back to what is was it will be worse than it was before. I would hang in there, but not for too long.
127499
Well just tell him, explain it the way you did here. Since you two are already intimate, no guarantee that he will wait around the three months. In the future wait longer before you become intimate with someone, instead of changing your mind after wards, and cutting them off. That is going to send some pretty mixed signals. Hope it works out for you, if he does stick around he's a keeper ;)
590079
I hope you can stand an answer from a woman. When I read this, my heart went out to you. Believe me, I understand. It's good you recognize the first relationship where the guy didn't want kids had to end. That was a very healthy decision and you shouldn't look back on that with regret.\n\nAs for this last guy, I think he's just too immature to deal with his feelings. A guy I dated before I met my boyfriend did the same thing to me. Of course, I wasn't ready to declare my love for him at that point or anything either and then months later, the jerk tried emailing me. Ugh. Anyway, the reason I say this guy is immature about his feelings is because 3 months is a really short amount of time to determine if you love someone. In fact, I'm always wary of when people say it too soon. It makes me think they are just in love with the idea of being in love. My boyfriend and I didn't say those 3 little words until we were together almost a year, but I can tell you, we're both very sure of how much we love one another. I'm sorry you're in this situation and I think this has much more to do with the guy you were involved with than you. I don't think you can determine if it's love in just 3 months time and I don't think you'd want to waste your time seeing someone each day that you didn't think you could invest in a future with. I hope that helps, even if I made you feel a little less alone out there in the world. I've been there before and it's not fun, but if this guy is too much of a tool to see what a bright, self-assured woman he has, then you are much better off without him. Good luck to you.
430148
It sounds like you both moved a bit too fast and now he's trying to back off a bit.  If you've only been together a bit over a month, it's a bit too soon for most people to be totally in love.  Just give him his space and if he does love you, your relationship will flourish.  If he doesn't love you and he doesn't "try" in your relationship, then you don't need him!\n(The further you get in a relationship, the less often you feel the need to say "I love you".)
485595
Long distance relationships are hard to maintain. I don't think there is a specific length of time you should wait because I don't believe you should wait at all. It sounds like you need to just live your life and not count on this fellow being "the one." Like my Ma used to say-"there are a lot of fish in the sea". If it is meant to work out things will progress but why not get to know someone who lives close. There is a lot to say for building a relationship based on spending time together doing things not just talking or e-mailing each other. LOL
47344
OK...i will guess you have been dating about a year, give or take a couple of months.  This is the fork in the road of your relationship.  Almost all guys do this at the same time.  They get scared and feel trapped, so they want to break-up for a while.  Give him a few weeks and he will either come back loving you more than ever ready to go all the way, or he won't come back.
14763
hmmm...june 2006.  sounds like he needs to graduate from somewhere, perhaps?  or be released (hopefully not)?  \n\nor maybe he just wants to get his life in order before he meets someone whom he cares about.\n\nif you've known him for two years, you should be fine asking him for his reasons for waiting until june, and if he truly cares about you, he'll give you an honest answer.\n\n//
644145
would you believ the same thing has just happend to me. bout 4 months ago i ran into this guy i went to school with and we started chatting and i got his number. later in the week i got a msg from him and we were talking about school and how we were friends and how i used to really like him. he then replied that he liked me and wish he had relised what he had missed out on in school and he should have hooked up with me.\nwe continued to msg each other and after a week he said that he still had feelings for me. the only problem with the whole situation is i met another guy and now im engaged, i got so confused on what to do but he still says now that he really likes me and i should leave the other guy. of course im not.\nAnyway the point to all this is yes there is a chance for you both as long as neither of you are in a relationship. a way to find out is by saying that you used to like him and find out where you stand with him. invite him out for dinner or a movie or something and try and spend time with him. you will soon know if he likes you or not.\nGood luck and hope this helps
258959
If you broke up w/ him there must have been a reason. What was that reason ? Do you want to go through it all over again ? I think I can relate to what you're saying tho. I went to the city partly to get away fr him for the wk'd after we broke up. Well, we were still talking on the phone sometimes but when he phoned it'd be more like "geeeeeeez... :( " but I'd still answer the phone. While in the city I didn't have a very good time. It felt like my fam was abandoning me or something. Like they were tryna get rid of me or didn't wanna see me, etc. :( I was very hurt. The main reason why I was thinking of moving to the city was to be near my fam too... After that I felt that my ex was the only one who really cared bout me. When I got back home I jut HAD to see him so I went to see him. I told him bout what happened in the city & how I felt that he was the only one who cared bout me. For a whole wk I wanted to be w/ him. I wanted to be w/ him every chance I had. We were @ this pt, just "friends". We went to see Default & I guess he was gonna go home after the concert. I didn't want him to leave. I didn't wanna go home either. He was gonna drink but I didn't really care if he did, as long as I could be w/ him. Well, his mom & sis were gone to the city, so he let me spend the night, which I did. I felt that I wanted to get back w/ him. B/w the day I got back home fr the city to the time we got back together officially was Apr 7th-13th I believe. There was even a time AFTER that that I thought that we'd be together forever. But in the past 2 or 3 wks I haven't been feeling that way. I wanna break up w/ him. When & how is the Q. This'll be our 4th break up. :( \nYou may also experience this as well. Have you broken up in the past ? If you have I think that this will only continue to happen. Don't let it. Be strong. Easier said that done I know, but when you feel like talking to him, call a friend. Maybe even get together w/ a friend or friends. It's better than giving in to urges. Hope this helps !!!
545733
You can still keep dating and not necessarily wait for him completely. Who knows when he will be ready to date again and be fully healed. With you there waiting on him he may feel pressured to get with you because he doesn't want to lose you and in turn jump into something he may not be ready for. Healing takes time and no one really knows how long that is...not even him. Just be a good friend to him now and be there for him when he needs you. If you really like him and want to be with him just be patient. Good Luck!
97253
I met this guy at some chats last year. We realized that we were really serious about each other.He proposed that he find a really good job in my country (we're one oceans apart), just so that he can be closer to me.He's not here in my country YET but yeh, he got a GREAT job already and he's arriving at the airport THIS SUNDAY!!!!! I'm very optimistic about our relationship face-to-face.. It's definitely going to be better than chats.. at least we can touch now ;) Just take note of this. If he's serious about you, ask if he can go to YOUR place. You'll know how much he's serious then. \nAnd it also depends on how serious YOU are about him. Think about it yeh? Good luck!
480397
I hate to say it but if he really wanted to make it work he would. You've gone out of your way to find time to see him, if he felt the same way you do then he find a way to spend time with you. Not seeing you enough is probably an excuse, he's not strong enough to tell you how he feels and he's probably thinks he's sparing your feelings by blaming the situation instead of telling you how he feels. Give him time and he may come around, but don't wait for him. You should start moving on.
613615
ok what this sounds like to me is that this guy is a real selfish jerk! When you really like someone you are never too busy for them. Think about it this way, he cant be so busy that he cant take at least 10 minutes out of his day to give you a call and say hi or 1 minute to send you a textmsg. Busy is a lousy excuse.I mean when you really like someone im sure you're never "too busy" to think about them. If he thinks about you so much he wont wait a week to call you. Stop trying to figure him out you're only gonna be wasting your time. You deserve so much better than a jerk who is supposedly "too" busy!
612112
I know it's really hard to let go! When you beg a guy to stay, and try to work things out, it will never work out. He will just keep you on the side in case things don't work out else where. I'm speaking from experience. You need to tell yourself that you deserve someone who wants to be with you just as much as you want to be with them. Why would you want to be with this guy, he has already given up. He can't possibly care as much as you do, about this relationship. Move on, there is some one out there for you. It takes time and patience. Don't just settle, set high standards for yourself. Keep your head up. :)