(read it with Italian accent) I am an Italiano. One day ima gonna L.A. to bigga hotel. Ina morning I go down to eat breakfast. I tella waitress I wanna two pisses toast. She brings me only one piss. I tella her I want two piss. She say go to t he toilet. I say you no understand, I wanna two piss onna my plate. She say you better no piss onna plate, you sonna ma bich. I don't even know the lady and she call me sonna ma bich. Later I go to eat at the bigga restaurant. The waitress brings m e a spoon and knife but no fock. I tella her I wanna fock. She tell me everyone wanna fock. I tella her you no understand. I wanna fock on the table. She say you better not fock on the table, you sonna ma bich. So I go back to my room ina hotel and there is no "SHIIT" onna my bed.  I call the manager and tella him I wanna    "SHIIT". He tell me to go to toilet. I say you no understand. I wanna  "SHIIT" on my bed.     He say you better not    "SHIIT" onna bed, you sonna ma bich. I go to the checkout and the man at the desk say: "Peace on you." I say piss on you too, you sonna ma bich, I gonna back to Italy!
133072
haha that was great. my little sister probably thinks im a retard cus i read it out loud with and accent haah.
543835
I already answered this question, but the asker was someone with different id, so here's the copy and paste:\n\n"That sounds vaguely Finnish; it looks like heavy dialect from around Tornio or somewhere near (North-Western part of Finland I would guess; could also be from more south, but definitely somewhere west). If I try to make some sort of translation:\n\n"Ei oo kyl" means "it isn't" or "this isn't", though in dialect. "raponen" is a word used only in very few Finnish dialects (this is why I guess this is from around Tornio), a more common Finnish word meaning the same would be "häävi", meaning "ok" or "quite good". So "Ei oo kyl raponen" would mean "It (or this) isn't too good".\n\n"Myyräki kurkkii" would literally mean "Also the mole is peeking", but as this is also heavy dialect, the actual meaning is something like "And I (or you/he/she/it, not defined in that expression) also need(s) to take a dump"\n\n"Vai mikä vitun tappi liene" would mean something like "Or whatever pin/cone/stick that is", powered up with the f-word.\n\nSo basically this could be a rude comment from someone who is looking at someones behind (backside, buttocks, or whatever expression you find suitable), meaning "That's not too good looking, also there's some kind of weird stick pointing out, I wonder if he/she needs to go to bathroom and fast..."\n\nI hope you're not offended, I only translated it."
505957
It's from the musical "Funny Face." The scene it's from is where she is in Paris talking to people in the club who don't understand English, and Fred Astaire tells her they don't understand her, they're just with her to drink her wine. She gets mad and does an interpretive dance type thing.
532708
It's by Matt Munro. It was in the original version of The Italian Job
273661
theres a girl with a thick accent that i dont recognize at the "Panera Bread" restaurant near my work. her name tag reads "Dorka". that might have been rough to grow up with in the U.S.
50000
Three kids come down to the kitchen and sit around the breakfast table. The mother asks the oldest boy what he’d like to eat. "I’ll have some fuckin’ French toast," he says. The mother is outraged at his language, hits him, and sends him upstairs. She asks the middle child what he wants. "Well, I guess that leaves more fuckin’ French toast for me," he says. She is livid, smacks him, and sends him away. Finally she asks the youngest son what he wants for breakfast. "I don’t know," he says meekly, "but I definitely don’t want the fuckin’ French toast." \n \n2 \n My grandfather always said, "Don't watch your money; watch your health." So one day while I was watching my health, someone stole my money. It was my grandfather. (Jackie Mason) \n \n3 \n Last night I went to a 24-hour grocery. When I got there, the guy was locking the front door. I said, "Hey, the sign says you're open 24 hours." He goes: "Not in a row!" (Steven Wright) \n \n4 \n Saul is working in his store when he hears a booming voice from above: "Saul, sell your business." He ignores it. It goes on for days. "Saul, sell your business for $3 million." After weeks of this, he relents, sells his store. The voice says ‘Saul, go to Las Vegas." He asks why. "Saul, take the $3 million to Las Vegas." He obeys, goes to a casino. Voice says, "Saul , go to the blackjack table and put it down all on one hand." He hesitates but knows he must. He’s dealt an 18. The dealer has a six showing. "Saul, take a card." What? The dealer has -- "Take a card!" He tells the dealer to hit him. Saul gets an ace. Nineteen. He breathes easy. "Saul, take another card." What? "TAKE ANOTHER CARD!" He asks for another card. It’s another ace. He has twenty. "Saul, take another card," the voice commands. I have twenty! Saul shouts. "TAKE ANOTHER CARD!!" booms the voice. Hit me,Saul says. He gets another ace. Twenty one. The booming voice goes: "un-fucking-believable!" \n \n5 \n A guy joins a monastery and takes a vow of silence: he’s allowed to say two words every seven years. After the first seven years, the elders bring him in and ask for his two words. "Cold floors," he says. They nod and send him away. Seven more years pass. They bring him back in and ask for his two words. He clears his throats and says, "Bad food." They nod and send him away. Seven more years pass. They bring him in for his two words. "I quit," he says. "That’s not surprising," the elders say. "You’ve done nothing but complain since you got here." \n \n6 \n I was making love to this girl and she started crying. I said, "Are you going to hate yourself in the morning?" She said. "No. I hate myself now." (Rodney Dangerfield) \n \n7 \n A Jewish grandmother is watching her grandchild playing on the beach when a huge wave comes and takes him out to sea. She pleads, "please God, save my only grandson. I beg of you, bring him back." And a big wave comes and washes the boy back onto the beach, good as new. She looks up to heaven and says: "He had a hat!" (Myron Cohen) \n \n8 \n Two guys are walking down the street when a mugger approaches them and demands their money. They both grudgingly pull out their wallets and begin taking out their cash. Just then one guy turns to the other and hands him a bill. "Here’s that $20 I owe you," he says. \n \n9 \n I went to my doctor and told him "my penis is burning." He said, "That means somebody is talking about it." (Garry Shandling) \n \n10 \n A car hits a Jewish man. The paramedic rushes over and says, "Are you comfortable?" The guy says: "I make a good living." (Henny Youngman) \n \n11 \n Jesus and Saint Peter are golfing. St. Peter steps up
602109
Yes it is rude, but it seems to be the norm.  There is a joke in California.  There are 2 Vietnamese in an elevator with a 3rd individual.  The 2 Vietnamese talk to each other in their native language. The 3rd says you are in America speak Spanish.  In the 20's it was speak German.
294224
Spaghetti \n\nA wealthy man was having an affair with an Italian woman for a few years.\nOne night, during one of their rendezvous, she confided in him that she was pregnant.\nNot wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, he paid her a large sum of money if she would go to Italy to have the child. If she stayed in Italy,\nhe would also provide child support until the child turned 18.\nShe agreed, but wondered how he would know when the baby was born. To keep it discrete, he told her to mail him a post card, and write "Spaghetti" on the back. He would then arrange for child support.\nOne day, about 9 months later, he came home to his confused wife.\n"Honey," she said, "you received a very strange post card today."\n"Oh, just give it to me and I'll explain it later," he said.\nThe wife obeyed, and watched as her husband read the card, turned white, and fainted.\nOn the card was written "Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti. Two with meatballs, one without." \n------------------------------------------------------------\nThe Good Napkins \n\nMy mother taught me to read when I was four years old (her first mistake). \nOne day, I was in the bathroom and noticed one of the cabinet doors was ajar. I read the box in the cabinet. I then asked my mother why she was keeping 'napkins' in the bathroom. Didn't they belong in the kitchen? \nNot wanting to burden me with unnecessary facts, she told me that those were for "special occasions." \nNow fast forward a few months .... It's Thanksgiving Day, and my folks are leaving to pick up the pastor and his wife for dinner. Mom had assignments for all of us while they were gone. Mine was to set the table. \nWhen they returned, the pastor came in first and immediately burst into laughter. Next came his wife who gasped, then began giggling. Next came my father, who roared with laughter. Then came Mom, who almost died of embarrassment when she saw each place setting on the table with a "special occasion" napkin at each plate, with the fork carefully arranged on top. I had even tucked the little tails in so they didn't hang off the edge!! \nMy mother asked me why I used these and, of course, my response sent the other adults into further fits of laughter. \n"But, Mom, you SAID they were for special occasions!"
63978
Well, to earn two points, let's hear it once again: \nit is I AM LOVED said by an Italian woman. \nTo make this answer a bit different from others, let me add something completely unnecessary: \nI was loved (f) would be Io ero amata.\n:)
531476
It's Italian but it means nothing. It looks like something translated using a on line site. \n\nI think they wanted to say "live well, love often, laugh much", but this in italian would be: "vivi bene, ama spesso, ridi molto".
191818
The spanish is very bad. But I think this is what it says:\n\nHow do you say\nBut this one (a girl) doesn't understand spanish\nI know that I bother you I'm very sorry.\nCan we be friends again?
581326
ITALIAN!....huh? what was your question, blanked out after ITALIAN!..lol
503776
Let's start at the beginning. Come stai? Molto bene. Bon giorno. Ciao. Arrivederci. Every Italian from Italy knows these words and every Italian-American should.\nBut what about the goomba speech pattern? Those words and phrases that are a little Italian, a little American, and a little slang. Words Every paesano and Bacciagaloop has heard,-words we hear! on The Sopranos and throughout our Little Italy neighborhoods of New York and New Jersey. This form of language, the "Goomba-Italiano" has been used for generations. It's not gangster slang terms like "whack" or "vig"
403467
Karla dear:\n\nGood night. Buenas noches, no te mochas.  Bonne nuit.  Leila tov.  Spokoino noch'. Laku noch'. Tosfih alla kheir.  Bona nit.  Buona notte, bella. Guht Nacht.
117416
A guy walks into a bar with a salamander on his shoulder.  He asks, "I'll take a shot, and a cup of water for my buddy Tiny here."  The bartender asks, "Why do you call him Tiny?"  The guy answers, "because he is minute." [pronounced mi-nute]\n\nGet it?  Mi-nute, minute meaning tiny. My newt!  \n\nIt is so corny that it doesn't always translate to the written word.  It needs to be said out loud.
553780
I think this was mostly a little poem to help with Geography.  It's so old, though, that there's not much info out there and I found  several variations of it.\n\nHere's one:\n\nLong legged Italy\nKicked poor Sicily\nInto the middle of the\nMediterranean Sea\n\nAustria was Hungary\nTook a bit of Turkey\nDipped it in Greece\nFried it in Japan\nAnd ate it off China\n\nAnother reads:\n\n'Austria was Hungary, Very Very Hungary, Ate a bit of Turkey, Dipped in Greece. Long-legged Italy, kicked poor Sicily, Into the Mediterranean Sea.' \n\nYet another version:\n\nAustria was Hungary and ate a bit of Turkey,\nSlipped on Greece and broke a bit of China.\n\nAnd yet another version:\n\nGermany was Hungary, ate a bit of Turkey, on a bit of China, dipped in Greece. Greece was slippery, slipped into Italy, kicked a bit of Sicily right into the middle of the Mediterranean Sea!\n\nHope this helps!\n\nPolly
72865
Maybe you want to say "sienta" insteat "zenza"\n\nIt means "I want to lick you until I could feel you in my mouth a thousand times"\n\nWhere did you hear it?