...but now he says he never promised me anything. then this led to discussions about me taht will spend money on make up and clothes... but he never gave me any money for these items before... i was catering for him all the time and our well being, yet he says i am selfish. what should i amke of all of his attitude?
124003
I would be very worried if I was you.  Something in your relationship has changed whether you know it or not.  A husband should be willing to share all he has equally with his wife.  You might need to consult a lawyer to find out how to protect yourself and get what you were promised.
51679
I think thats why he called you a psycho right there... your reading to much into simple words and look how upset you have gotten yourself. A guy dealing with a chic like that...is not at ease, he always has to becarefull what he says to not freak you out. Maybe you have been a little clingy lately or something. Talk to him later on today, if everything seems fine then just blow it off as passing conversation. It sounds to me like he was trying to make light of you missing him, a form of trying to cheer you up, or maybe just trying to get you to talk about something less sad/depressing. No worries though, ask him about it when your feeling more calm.
370501
I responded to your first question..but Ill say it again. Talk to him nicely and find out what the underlying issue is. I really think it is more than money. He resents you for something that may or may not have nothing to do with money. Sounds like the overall relationship is not so healthy. It may be time to move on. Do you have a family member to move in with. If you really want to try to make it work...see a counselor-but start with talking to him yourself. He might open up to you and tell you why he doesnt want to help you out.  Good luck.
228264
It's still early on in the relationship. If you don't feel it's the appropriate amount to spend, I'd talk to him and let him know how you feel.  And maybe come to terms with a spending amount for both of you. I know you may want to get it for him to make him happy, but then you may resent it and this feeling will not be good towards the start of your relationship.  You have to do it from the heart.
176091
My boyfriend thinks he has to pay for everything too! He will throw my money on the floor in shops so I can't pay. It annoys me too so I let him get on with it. I do other things like buy him clothes when I'm out shopping and try to even it out a bit that way.
270027
you are involved with a very selfish individual. He is putting his pleasures and self before you. Get out now.
407264
YES, you should feel upset, and you're not overreacting. Sounds annoying and angering. I'm surprised he even asked you to marry him. Do you think he'll keep the promise to walk down the aisle? I had a man like that once. He promised to propose to me year after year after year. He promised he'd do it after he paid off his credit card. But when he did, he just bought himself a brand new car. Then he wanted a big projection television. Et cetera. It's hard to pinpoint exactly why some people do crap like that: lack of ability to commit, laziness, control, or just plain meanness. Talk to him about it...tell him that it makes you UNHAPPY, and be sure to stress that word. If you're unhappy, then it can lead you to fall out of love with him, and leave him. That should show him that he needs to be more trustworthy with you.
206116
maybe when you told him he wasn't getting any , he stayed with you just in case you eventually let your guard down, he is an idiot to not call you after running around after you so much..leaving town is a BullSh*t excuse and now he is probably looking elsewhere....you were indeed played like a hand of poker..get over it and find someone who can treat you right
311020
He doesn't sound sincere! It seems like he is only using you. He needs to decide wether he wants to be your man or mummy's boy the rest of his life. You need to put your foot down and give him an ultimatum, "be my man or be mumm's little boy the rest of your life"? Claim back your self esteem woman and your self worth and don't be taken for a fool!!!
127729
Comin' from a guy this straight up...he wants u to get him somethin', but he don't care wut it is...u know wut he doesn't like so as long as u stay away from that stuff he'll be kool...he wants u...thats wut he wants, thats wut he always wants, thats all he wants...the other stuff is just added benefits...i don't know if yall are sexual or waitin' but if yall are, then he would greatly appreciate somethin' different...not that u ain't already great or wutever, but a setting change or a new position or some different clothing will always make him happy...u don't even have to buy anything really...he doesn't need candles and all that, if u just let him walk in the door and let him take u on the kitchen table or against the front door or out on the balcony i guarantee he will luv u for it...if yall are not that far yet then a nice dinner and a new outfit would will suffice...
381956
I'm not sure what exactly to tell you but i definitely think he shouldn't blame everything on you. Sure, being married means you might go through financially difficulties but you are suppose to go through things like that together. And since he gave you the ok that you needed, he is just as much responsible as you are.\nI bet you have already talked to him, right? Because everytime somebody posts a question there's always somebody that says "Talk to him". What did he say? It sounds like you are just accepting it the way it is. \nAnd yes, there's always a Saver and a Spender. I can say out of my marriage, i know i'm the spender and my hubby is the saver and i also know i'm the loud one and he's the shy one. But they say 'Opposites Attract'.\n\nAnyway, to come to an end...\nHe should have agreed that it was his fault, too. I think he is the one that made a mistake. You've admitted you would've done it different if you knew this would happen.\n\nI hope i helped you at least a little bit. Don't feel too guilty about it, remember, he gave you the ok about the money. I think he needs to think about what he said and that he never stopped you from getting the money for the remodeling.
421700
Sounds like you both are trying to work through this. Unfortunately sometimes arguments do occur, the only thing is when the dusts settles what then? I believe that by him not telling you right away that this or that was not exactly what he expected seems he is trying to be tolerant. Where he is trying maybe not to impose on you all the time what he think or how he thinks things should be. But if he bottles it up and then waits to explode letting you have it all at once, you are right he really should tell you then and there. Not bottle it up and make him resent or get so angry.  He has to realize you fess up to things you tell him "Oh I had no idea I was coming across that way" so he has to know you are not intentionally doing things to  irritate him. Keep talking, keep telling him to tell you.  Tell him "Hey let post this or that and have people who don't know you and don't know me, tell us what they think is going on. People who have nothing to gain"  People who do this just because we've all been there and think Hey maybe someone else can benefit from past mistakes.   Good Luck to you and him I really hope it works out for you two.
522180
That was hurtful that he did not respond to you when you needed his comfort!  He sounds egocentric and such people drain energy from others.  Decide whether the energy drain is worth it to maintain your "friendship."  How important is it to you to be "needed"?
319151
Well I had the same thing happen to me, When I got my promise ring it was big and I caught everything on it, I had to turn the ring around to put on gloves or even get stuff out of my pockets. So I told him that I was frustrated with this problem and asked that when he pick out a ring for me.(not pushing) that I would really like one that was smaller and not as big. And when I got my ring it was bigger then I wanted but he did listen to what I wanted and he pick out one that was low and fit more into the band so I don't catch everything on it. \n\nI guess in his mind you show everyone your ring, So the more it is worth the more he loves you.(his ego) \n\nSo I would talk to him about a few thing that you would like to see, but don't take away his change to pick out the perfect ring he has imagined buying for you. There is the excitement about the ring for both you and him, you getting the ring and him being the one that picked out the ring you love so much.
409680
If you don't have money to give him anything, just don't buy anything for him.  He'll have to understand if he's not a selfish pig.  A lot of people in this world are poor (like you- and me) and other people can't expect us to give them stuff if we don't have anything ourselves.  That's just rude and prepoterous!
256775
You obviously seem to thing that it is a "form of bribery" or you wouldn't be asking this question.\n\nI wonder about his self-esteem, and I wonder if he will become very controling and jealous. \n\nI wonder if he plans to own you.\n\nIf you are curious about it ASK HIM.\n\n"I'm not sure that I've ever dated anyone as generous as you and I really appreciate it, and I also wonder if maybe you feel like you have to buy me things to keep me intereted? To be honest, all the gifts and money you've spent on me has actually sort of turned me off a little. Its too much too soon."
159159
Why is he there ? That's what you ask him next time he says that you don't love him .He may be pushing you toward something he wants but you don't .Selfish ego guy , run !