the father of my son did something unforgiveale and told lies. how do i forgive him? i'm finding a hard time doing so.
130355
think of it this way ..holding a grudge on someone is only consuming your day and wasting your time...forgiving them is so much easier..but I am not telling you to keep on letting him do things to you that are hurting you or disrespecting you ..if thats the case just get him out of your life ..you dont need that and your son does not need to grow up thinking it is ok for women to be treated that way by men
57281
u messed up!anyway u have to agree that u were on the wrong.and tell him how u feel,(truly feel) the truth matters now.and if u dont say what u feel u will regreat.so in other words just say the truth,what comes out from ur heart then let him take it the way he wants to take it.but u messed up and do u think if u were done for  the some thing u would want that person back to ur life.i dont think so coz the person will repect the same thing or in a different way.dont have ur hopes up.pray and let it be.
571137
I am not an attorney, but I host a forum web site where I welcome you to become a member and post your story for publicity.  Feel free to post pictures, links, and anything else that will help you express your situation.  There are thousands of hits per month, and your story may make for a good read for someone out there.\n\nI'm very sorry to hear of your son's situation.  I have a family member who, too, was falsely accused and will never be able to rid himself of the shameful brand put on him my our f'ed up legal system.\n\nLink below:\n\nCheers,\n-HiAmp\n\nhttp://www.stifflip.com/
612780
You did something you thought would help, unfortunately you got screwed over in return.\n\nNot much you can do, if he continues to say that you've done this then you'll have to find some way to prove that you didn't. \n\nEither way if he lays charges you're branded a sex offender. See a lawyer first, maybe talk to his grandmother, find out if he has any..............um...............other issues going on about why he would lie (I'm assuming your innocence). The fact that he is 18 does play in your favour, he is an adult and as such has the right to make his own decisions whether or not others think they are the right ones.\n\nIt's a hard one, I don;t want to tell you never help another, because then where would you be, but you have to think a little harder now about whom you decide to help.\n\nBest thing to do if this situation comes up again is have the names and phone numbers of a few shelters on hand.\n\na plus is that when the cops came they didn't arrest you they just told you to tell him to go home.\n\nBetter off not to have anything more to do with this kid either.\n\nHope it workls out for you.
120594
I lost my oldest son just over 5 years ago.  He was murdered.  I am still not over it & never will be.  The best thing I can tell you is turn to your religion.  That has helped me.  I think God gives us answers on how to go on without our loved ones in everyday things.  Like, this might sound wierd to most, but sometimes I hear (in the back of my mind) my son talking to me or answering a question that I've only asked myself.  I take it as he's giving me advise.  I think I'm living life as my son would have wanted me to live it.  I'm making decisions that if he were here & I'd asked him for his advice, they are ones that he's tell me.  I don't know hon, life goes on & so must we.  Sorry to hear about your loss.  A son, aunt, mother or father, its never easy & nobody has all the answers.  Just take it day by day.  You'll have good ones & bad one.  I've learned to deal with it cause all the tears & sorrow or angry feelings isn't going to bring my son back, just make me a bitter person.  He wouldn't have wanted that.  He was a good young man, 23 at the time & had his whole life with a wonderful career in his sites.  He was brutally murdered.  We just had the trial back in September '05.  It still hurts but like I said... he would want me to do just what I'm doing... trying to be the best person I can be.  Good luck to you sweetie!
168065
Simple answer, you can't until they ask for forgiveness. You can forgive your wife for being mislead (but it looks like you've already done this), but you can't forgive anyone until they ask for it.\n\nIt sounds like your in-laws are dangerous, lying, deceptive people. Hopefully, your wife does / will recgonize this, and will not listen to them anymore. \n\nMy personal suggestion is that these people have already come close to destroying you once. I would not allow them the chance to try again.
285931
Straight from the bible and through the mouth of my priest...  Forgive him.  But when to forgive him is entirely up to you.  Curse him until you are not mad at him but forgive him before you die.
45291
Forgiving is to choose not to fight anymore, the forgetting part doesn't come automatically, it's a process, so don't beat yourself up.\n\nIt is perfectly acceptable to feel wary of them. Being betrayed by a family member is the worst kind of betrayal there is, because it's so unexpected.\n\nIf you have not discussed your feelings about what happened with your accusers personally, maybe you should. Be frank. You said the e-mail made you smile, it sounds like the wound is healing, that's a good sign. Take things slow! And be careful, Jesus wants us to forgive but He doesn't want you to put yourself in a bad situation. \n\nGood luck with your situation.\nAnd remember, you're not alone.
459437
If you have decided to stay and forgive him then you need to put it in the past and carry on. It sounds like he is trying to regain your trust by doing the right thing. You say you forgave him, so give him a chance to prove himself to you. If you can't get past it, then it will never work. You can't keep bringing up the past forever. You need to decide if you will ever really be able to move forward. If not, then let him go.
670196
Accept his appology and forgive him. This is what Jesus taught. You will be amazed at your own healing.\n\nHowever, by forgiving him, doesn't mean that you are absolving him of his sin, that's Jesus' job. Do not let him around your children if you are not comfortable. Tell him that, although you have forgiven him, you are still not allowing him near your daughters. That is the earthly price he paid for his sin. \n\nI have a feeling his appology might be a guise to get near your daughters, and he knows you are Christian so he can count on your forgivness. But don't think for a minute that he has changed his ways! Sexual predetors are mentally ill, and unless seriously medicated and couseled, will never be safe to leave your children around.
333417
I understand completely my husband and I have a very similiar situation. And I too do not trust him and he does not trust me. I think to make things work you have to learn to let go of the past mistakes and learn to forgive even though that maybe in order to go on together you must try to trust. But if he continues to betray you then you need to do what is best for you and your child.
269185
ooh there r many of this NO, NEVER, DONT FORGIVE HIM...\n\nwhat do u think ur partner is really ashamed of what he did. i wont tell u that try to be at his place n than think coz its not practical... there r many things for u to decide in this n many be there is only one correct decision... so just think agian before taking any decisions... u have to choice forgive or punish... before chosing punishment i mean leaving him think again that this gonna punish him olny or urself too... n before chosing to forgive him make it sure again that its a mistake which will never been repeated...\n\nbefore taking any decision remember its gonna affect not only his life but ur life too...\nwish u BEST OF LUCK
211691
Do the honorable thing.  Apoligize and confess about lying, resign, then spend the remainder of his life making restitution to those whose lives and families he's destroyed with his self-serving irresponibility.
588541
As a Christian Pastor I must say that you have to forgive your father not for him but to rid yourself of those things.\nIf you feel that you have done everything that you need to do, and it sounds to me like you have, then you need to tell your boyfriend that's it, I'm done.\nYou are correct that a person can get sucked back into a life they have broken away from as illustrated by your father.\nIf this problem continues with your boy friend perhaps it's time for him to leave.
141709
honey, you came up for breath in between words..just remember to pray for the man, ask GOD to do HIS will and way in his life, and do good to those who would despitefully use you and love your enemies...it is hard to do, but through CHRIST JESUS all things are possible.\nGOD BLESS YOU AND KEEP YOU AND YOUR SON IN HIS CARE!
153510
Start establish & gain back the truth from the smallest things:\n- Be on time. \n  Example: I will call you at 5:15 today.  I will see you at 7:20pm ...etc.  Try to make this type of "On time" happens every day.\n\n- If things that you can not confess, then you have a reason to keep it secret.   \n\n- Be a good listener.  Encourage he talks, expresses ..\n\nBest Regards.
366675
I'm really sorry about this. Usually it's harder to prove this kind of stuff when it happens to a guy. My step dad sexually abused me, except it was touching so it was his word against mine. There was no penetration or semen to prove that he had wronged me. The only reason it came out was because I told my friend who ended up telling the school counselor because she was worried. The police took my statement and she asked if I wanted to charge him. I said "yes" and she told me that I wouldn't need to go to court because all she needed was my statement. I guess he must have gotten charged because I overheard in family court that he was doing community service and that he got pyscologically assesed. He was considered low risk, but for a person who took university classes in psycology he probably knew how to answer questions the right way. It boggled my mind that they let him live in a house full of children. My mom had two girls with him and she also cared for three foster children. My social worker couldn't quite understand either why they were still living there, but she said it was probably because he was considered low risk and that the claims weren't against my mom. I ended up in foster care because my mom never wanted to see me again and she didn't want to believe it. I would even take a lie detector test but it is not considered evidence if it were to show I am telling the truth. The only other person that could possibly prove his guilt,  would be my foster brother who was 5 at the time. I thought that if I kept my foster brother by my side that my step dad wouldn't try anything. I wrapped myself in a blanket and told the boy to sit beside me and not to leave my side no matter what. We were sitting, watching TV on the bed and my step dad came home.  He came behind us and lay down. He was rubbing me as the little boys eyes were glued to the TV. He was rubbing my legs and reached into the blankets wrapped around me. He reached to my shorts and tugged at the crotch about to go in. I grabbed his hand and flung it away and started yelling and him as I was crying. The little boy got up and was watching me cry and he asked what was wrong and why I was crying. My step dad started to appologize and was trying to get my attention, I couldn't even look at him, he kept asking for forgivness and I kept ignoring him. My step dad asked for the little boy to leave because he wanted to talk tome in private. I told the boy not to go because there was nothing to say and he listened to me and gave me a hug. He pushed him away from me and kept asking me to forgive him. I told him not to ask me. I told him he should ask God for forgivness because I couldn't do that. He said "I can't live with myself unless I hear it from you". The boy was there,  but I don't know if he understood what was going on. At the age of five he already had a very good memory of things that happened far before. I don't think they used him as a witness though, it wouldn't be fair to put that kind of pressure on a 5 year old boy who already had an unfair life. Later after the boy was gone my step dad told me that we could tell my mom, but I didn't want to tell it with him there. I was scared he would try to twist things around, so I said no. I tried to tell her myself, but he never let me be alone with her. I slipped a note to my brother telling him what happened and I asked him to tell my mom because my step dad wouldn't let me be alone with her.  He was in shock and didn't do it. The next day as I was getting ready for school he said he would drive me and I told him I could walk. I told my brother I was scared to go and he said I would be fine. My step dad didn't drive me to school, instead he just drove around trying to talk to me and parked the car in a parking lot. He told me that he was going to leave the country in a year and told me not to say anything. When it all came out he