he spends money daily that we dont have he lies constantaly and is always conning some way to get these pills if hes run out of money we fight just about everyday i just need some advice from some 1 that is or has been in my shoes or just noes the lifestyle of being addicted
130178
you need to leave. whether you stay gone or not, he needs to understand it's you or the drugs. it's hard, but hold your head & just know that you will get through this.
63252
Good Luck in your future of hell if you stay with this person, Sorry that just the way it is .Find someone that will love you more than the drugs and whatever else he does. \nAny person that does drugs are people who don't want to deal with reality. By the way your not going to change someone that does not want to change.
280307
No, your concerns are gunuine..  Your boyfriend might already have an addiction...  Talk to him and let him know your concerns, especially for his health.  If he does not want to make a change, then let him go...  YOU CAN'T HELP THOSE WHO WON'T HELP THEMSELVES...\n\nMy boyfriend used to drink  a lot when he was younger, now he has a liver disease and only has a certain amount of time to live..\n\nYou care for him, but he has to care for himself before he can care and make a change for someone else...  I'm not saying don't be there for him as a friend, if he needs it, but don't waist your time either on something and someone that you know is only going to be a road of heartache...\n\nThe Lord in time will bless you with someone special...\n\nGOOD LUCK!
166258
Addictions are hard no matter what the addiction is. So, my advice is to slowly stop taking them. Reduce the dosage one day at a time, and eventually you won't even need them any more. I also think it's helpful to have a support system in tack. Let someone around you know you have this problem so they can help you.
65206
First of all, you have added to the complexities of your situation by cheating on your husband.  To bring that into the open will further damage his mental state... That is , the depression.  At this point, I would wait to confess, and focus on his current situation.  This may or may not be the best advice.  It just seems that telling him would not do much for the situation right now.\n\nChronic pain, is a difficult thing.  I have dealt with it, and I can speak from experience, it is easy to crawl into a shell so to speak..  \nThe answers are simple to discuss, but to do them is another story. And success rates vary.\nYou did not address the cause of his chronic pain.. but.\n\nFirst, he needs to start exercising to the level that is comfortable.\nSecond, he needs to eat a diet that will support healing.\nThird, with his doctor, he needs to find another therapy that does not effect the physical issues you describe.\n\nIf he is on pain medication such as Vicodin, or Oxycontin... His pain may be emotionally created to justify taking the pills.  Addiction is a strong opponent to change.\n\nHe has to make some decisions, and you have to support him by both suggestion and coping through this tough time.\n\nCounseling might help with the depression, and you might consider going with him.\n\nAgain, this is a long discussion, and is best handled by a professional, which he needs to enlist the help of.\n\nDon't let things ride.  Make him confront the problem and address the ideas of what can make his quality of life better, and hence yours.
453300
Well... that's a bad addiction, especially when he has a family to take care of. Getting mad at him for spending the paycheck gambling instead of paying the bills isn't going to make him stop, it will only make your problems increase. You two have been together a long time and now 4 kids are involved. No, I'd say not a divorce, but maybe consider discussing with him a mutual agreed separation. You stay where you're living because you have the kids. He moves to other accommodations until he honestly gets his s--- together. This might mean you'll have to go to work to takeover household expenses, because he just might continue spending his whole paycheck in the casino. Hopefully he'll think of his children and give you part of his paycheck for support. But, him being on his own will give him more time to think about where his life is going due to gambling, what he's risking to lose (his family) if he doesn't quit gambling, because if he can't straighten up his act, the separation will become permanent. He'll not have you & the kids to come home to, he'll be cooking his own meals, doing his own laundry, etc.\nI feel that if you just remain in the situation the way it is now it'll be too much stress on you and the kids. You'll end up a nervous wreck and become a co-dependant.\nI feel for you and I honestly hope things work out well for you guys. You're in my prayers.\n\nP.S. Don't they have group meetings for addict's spouses to  understand the addiction and also help yourself thru it all?
105520
Oh boy,So sorry to hear you are having so many problems with your wife!I have two children also.And I am pretty much trying to keep things together for them too.However,The hubby and I have had drug problems,also!As a matter of fact we are still trying to stay clean!And are on a maintenance drug,prescribed by our doctor to remain clean!We see are addiction specialist every month!And it helps a Great deal!                               Perhaps,you should talk to your wife and tell her she needs to get help with her drug addiction!Drugs are way eXpensive!Trust me!Are you sure that she's not spending ALOT of the money on them?Because once a person is addicted they will do anything to get the drugs they need!I know Alot of people addicted.And I even know people who have passed on due to their drug abuse.If it is just weed she is using that isn't as bad!I am talking about Hard drugs!Like CoCaine and Herione,and crystal meth,Etc.These drugs can make a person LOSE everything!Even their family's!I have seen it happen too many times!And it almost happened to me but 'thank-god'I have changed my ways!                      You really need to try to talk to her about getting help!Like a rehab or detoX,etc!At first she may be in denial.And say that she doesn't have a problem!Everyone says that.Until they hit rock bottom or something really bad happens.With some people that is what it takes to quit.Then again some people don't even quit then.They don't stop till their in jail or unfortunately in the cemetary!I don't know how bad your spouses drug problem is.                       I really need a little more detail.But,if it is bad.She definately needs help.You would also benefit with support groups.Or go to a narcotics anonymous meeting with her.Or perhaps counseling.How is she with your boys?I hope they do not know about her addictions.If you don't want to leave her,or divorce her, and take the boys.Then you should get her some help,and some counseling for the family.           I have been living with addiction for years now.And it's no fun!She may hate you for wanting to get her help.But someday she will thank-you when she is clean.This may be another reason she will not,or should I say can't work.It is almost impossible for a drug addict/alcoholic to keep a job!Trust me I know my hubby is a recovering addict!Who relapses constantly!                                        The disease consumes you.And it's almost impossible to just quit.Without professional help.I also know alot of people who abuse pain/anxiety medication prescribed to them,to the point that they can NOT function!It's dangerous.But they don't care!                                             Anyhow,I honestly think that if you tried to get her help,things might get better.But,if she cheats again I would be done.Please try not be so depressed,try to change this situation.And if you can't after trying to help her so many times.And giving her mutiple chances!Then take your boys and tell her if she don't clean her act up.That's it.You are taking custody of them.Because you and the boys would be better off.                                   Being a 'bored' housewife,is hardly a reason to cheat!She should be glad your supporting her and your boys!And that you give her money!To by drugs,shop,spend,and buy more drugs!And that you love her,and your boys enough to put up with all of this!Please,don't feel like this is your fault.I have seen to may people go through this,and I have been there myself.                                        It is the addiction,the disease.She may not ever be herself again until she admits to having a problem.Some people in denial never fully recover.And depression is to be eXpected when the both of you are dealing with all of this.Depression sucks!I have it too.I really suggest some counseling.the medication may make you feel a little bit better.Till you get this all str
86143
Tell her directly that you are afraid the pills will cause her real harm if she keeps taking them. Tell her you think it's idiotic to sacrifice health for other people.\n\nDo you think she's got a problem? Tell her. Then let her know that you do love her enough to get help from outside sources.\n\nMaybe there is an independent counselor or teen support service. Look into it.\n\nAnd then, if you pray, pray for her.
184006
First of all, allow me to share my sympathy for you and your wife. I can tell that you’re a caring person and that’s part of maintaining a stable relationship for any period of time. From what I’ve gathered from your story, it seems that you truly care a whole lot about your wife and what could happen if this problem is not stopped, and you need advice handling the issue. \nSecondly, if you stop caring for her she will only get worse. People that become addicted to drugs and alcohol usually have their reasons behind the substance abuse. Since this all started before you came along, you must talk to her and find out when she started abusing drugs and why. She needs to know that you care and love her. I suggest calling a drug abuse councilor and scheduling an appointment with her to get the help that she needs. Don’t let her start a program and quit, you must encourage her in every way possible and keep an eye out for symptoms of withdraws/cravings from substance so she wont be in a situation where she has no control.\nI’m 18 years old but have had psychical addictions to pills since I was about 12. Amphetamines (adderall) are dangerous and it took a really special friend to show me I was killing myself and letting my family down every day. Finally I got off of everything and remain clean for the last 5 months or so. But back to your wife, I really wish you and her the best of luck and PLEASE feel FREE to contact me with ANY questions, comments, or to ask my opinion! Hope to hear back, please inform me how everything goes!\nwebmaster@techbrian.com
6838
Your father is going to have to want to quit. When dealing with addicts nothing you do or say will convice an addict to stop unless the addict believes that their addiction is a major problem and cares enough about their life to want to change. Usually they have to believe and be fearful of the fact that they are going to die soon if they don't stop using. That is what it takes. Its called hitting rock bottom and it is never pretty. All you can do is express the fact that you want him to be in your life as long as possible and you will not do anything that will enable him to continue his addiction. That means not buying him cigarettes, etc. But it almost never works. They have to want it.
166437
I think by posting on here, you pretty much know what you should do, but are really scared to do it. If your fiance is taking your pills, he obviously has a really bad problem. If you really love him and don't want to leave him, then try to help him get into a program, and if he doesn't do it, then leave him. But if he is willing to ignore your pain over his like that, then he may not be the person you want to spend the rest of your life with.
90051
the older u get u most likely to grow out of it. none of that medicine they give kids would not cure they begin to get addictive to that. maybe he needs a little more attention
995
this is not normal as far as i know. you need to build a budget that takes into account your lifestyle. it also has to take into account things like clothing and car maintenance down the road. if you have a compulsion to spend you may think about setting a limit on it such as under 2.00 so that you can do it more often but its just like any addiction cold turkey is best but its also the hardest. seek therapy if this is a constant thing and if you feel forced to do it.
241609
K First "Rocktowhatsreal"...shut up.  "once a drug addict - always a drug addict" is the most ignorant thing I've ever heard.  \n\nThe ability to use our will and minds to change our habits is one of the things that separates us from the animals.  \n\nI am a recovered drug addict.  I'm not dead...I did my body weight in meth for about 3 maybe 4 years...I've been clean for almost 10 and life is great.\n\nYour friend is going to have a hard time...it's easier for some than others...but all in all...Time is the strongest cure.  \n\nHe has to disassociate with his old party buddies.  Don't even talk to them, don't see them, they can not exist in his new life.\n\nAnd he has to change his routine....sometimes replacement works...find a new (preferably healthy) obsession to take the place of the bad one.  Fitness is a great one...because it too can be addicting.  \n\nIf he wants to clean up, he'll clean up...and after a while if he does come in contact with any of his old friends, he'll wonder what the hell he was thinking hanging out with them and doing the dope in the first place....But its good he's taking a step in the right direction.
548628
no my bf uses them too. and we are about to be done with. drugs are very addictive and will ruin your family. Things will only get worse for you-I can almost garauntee that. Leave him as hard as it might be-you will be better without him. And he is not a good dad for your daughter the way he is. She will see this and probably pick guys like this for herself one day because its what shes always seen. do you want that for her?
619325
You are right that she will deny it-she could also make trouble for you if you report it. People who do drugs will do anything to get money for them, even steel from family and friends-not just their money but their possessions also. I know, I lived with one for awhile and all my money and stuff was taken from me.They take your stuff to sell so they can get more dope, as some of these dopers have a need for hundreds of dollars a day. Your best bet is to not associate with any of them anymore, if she asks why explain to her that your life style if different and you can't get mixed up in all this. You can still be nice and say hi when your paths cross.
148525
i think the best way would be is to go with what he asks you to do, but never let him get to you. agree to whatever he tells you, but do what you want anyways on your own account.. or with out him knowing.. more or less just letting things flow so u can live at peace. if this approach doesnt work, try discussing things with him, see his point of view and try to understand it, maybe there is a reason as to why he doesnt want you to do certain things. if also this approach doesnt work, save money, work hard, have patience and move out... all in all i think u should be strong and handle this smartly, cause if you rebel hell just be as suprpessive and controlling as he can get. try to work your way to get your peace of mind.. remember that.