my fiancee of five years and I should be getting married today in a few hours, but here i sit at home...alone...crying my eyes out, because she is with a few guys and some nasty girls she goes to college with over in Ashland, Ky, partying the weekend away.  She just told me she didnt want to be with me a few days ago, and along with that went the marriage, and all the late night promises and love making and sweet things i had with her.  Im home on leave from the Army, and have to leave in less than 10 days...how do i get over this hurt...someone...please
125199
First let me tell you that I'm sorry.  I know that right now you're heart is broken and you probably feel like you can't breathe.  You're hurt, angry and embarrassed. Nothing is going to make that better but time.\n\nBut as a wife, and an Army wife at that - let me say, congratulations.  I know it's impossible to see right now but she probably did you a favor.  You sound like a great guy.  Very caring and open with your feelings. You have a job that takes courage, and you have honor.  You deserve better than that.\n\nYou need a wife that will honor you, and love you no matter what. In your job you're gone a lot, to places that require you to be focused on your mission.... not just to perform well but to stay alive.  \n\nCan you imagine if you had married, then you deployed and she changed her mind then?  It takes someone really amazing to be an Army wife.  It's a tough job.  It takes a lot of committment, and stamina.  She has the ability to advance your career beyond what you can imagine right now.  And it doesn't sound like this girl new what she had in you... or what to do with it.\n\nGo out with they guys.  Spend some time with Good friends.  If you can - grab a buddy and go on a road trip.  Try and get away so everyone isn't asking about it.  Then make up a really great story about how you walked in and caught her filming a porno with a three legged midget and giraffe and kicked her to the curb to tell the guys when you get back to post.\n\nI know it doesn't seem like it..... but she may have just saved your life.  \n\nIt took me 26 years to find a guy like you, and there's nothing I wouldn't do for him.  After six years of marriage we are more in love than any couple we know.  And happier than we ever thought we would be.  You deserve that too. But we bothhad the kind of heartbreak you're having now along the way.\n\nHold on, brighter and less painful days are coming.... I promise.
390123
calm down, just go wit the flow, its not like ur getting married :) just be friends, maybe hug or lil kiss or somethin, just take ur time.. thers no rulebook to this or anything... good luck :)
164298
I think that you should pass on this friend.  I know you love her and that you will miss her, but she is headed in a different direction than you.  You have yourself and your future hubby to think of - don't let guilt feelings make you invite her when you think she might bring that guy and ruin your wedding day.  It sounds to me like you are better off without her.  You can enjoy the memories of the friend she used to be.
587690
Oh...boo hoo to you. Get over being envious and looking at what everyone else is doing or has done and do something for yourself for a change. you want in the army. Go. Have a blast. You want to get married. Find someone that will put up with your crap and marry you. Otherwise, just sit in front of your computer and cry like a child instead of taking action like an adult!
125915
Seriously, dear, I want to first apoligize because no one should ever have to go through such a turmoil. And for being the most important day of your life, I would have been appalled. It is one of those situations where one day you might back at it and laugh, and but for the mean time me per say I would say that you should be the "bigger adult" and live on your life with your new hubby, within 10-15 years you can re-new your vows and have something even greater. As far as forgiving her I seriously would say no, and on the same note not even give her the time of day. I would more else let the time pass on until you are ready to talk to her, not on her turf, but yours. I wish you all the best of luck, and I know eventhough that you didn't get a chance to have your wedding video taped,just know that the people who were there, and you ended up being with person of love, those memories will last a lifetime!
224073
First, let me say I am sorry. I know the time that passes while waiting on him to return, you will be in pain and confusion, and anger.\nSecondly, yes, he was wrong. He probably doesn't realize the entire picture or didn't during the fight, and felt like you were trying to control him.\nThere is a very high possibility the hard facts are going to hit him while he is out with his friends, regardless how much he tries to ignore them. If no other time, it will be when he is on his way back home or when he walks from his car to the house. It will hit him that his child has been sick while he has been out, and everything else. At least, I hope this happens.\nBut I have had similar situations with my husband, in the past, unfortunately, it is part of developing as a couple.\nThis fight shouldn't mean you are on your way to divorce, but if in five years he has the same feelings, that might.\nIt is possible he was thinking inside his head all week how he needed a break and couldn't wait until the weekend to just simply get away from work and home and all the responsibilities. Even if there aren't many, he may feel very pressured about something right now, and unfortunately, you will put the icing on the cake when you object to him going out.\nTomorrow, maybe you could ask him if there is something he needs/wants to talk about, and if he is stressed out about anything. Be careful how you say your first question, he may immediately take it as you being nosey, instead of trying to help and support.\nNot that he deserves much positive from you, but we do all have our days we regret how we were, and its possible the day of the fight will be one of his.
582279
Wow, you're screwed.  It's her best friend, right?  That's doghouse for a long, long, long time, pal.   You gotta miss the game.  Rarely would I ever suggest dumping a game over a wedding, but you got no choice in this one...unless you want to be in pain for a long time.
416996
I have had plenty of male friends who have been through this before. Before the two of you call it quits you should have a nice dinner (preferably at home becuase it might get emotional) to just talk...tell her that you just want to start over. Pretend this dinner is your first date, use it as a way to rekindle what you had and find out why you guys decided to get married. Also explain the way you feel and encourage her to do the same.
35969
I know from experience, messing with a married man is just heart break waiting for a place to happen. I am guilty of dating a married man on more than one occassion, and both times I was the one left alone and crying! Though it may not seem fair, it is true.... \nIf you truly feel that he loves you, tell him that you can not handle the stress any longer, and he needs to choose either you or her. Give him no more than 2 weeks to make his decision as you want to make sure it's one he won't regret. Then while waiting, sit and pray that everything will work out in your favor! During this wait also realise that you are not the first one to go through this, nor will you be the last! \nAlso realise that while you may not want to hear everything we say in this forum, that we are all speaking from our own life experiences, and that we do not want anyone to face the pain that we have suffered....\nI wish you luck, and pray that you pain is as little as possible!
524008
I'll advise you stick to hope that things will improve with time. Your friend's brother is probably still angry about something that may have happened in your relationship with your fiancee or with himself. You may need to summon courage to ask to discuss your differences. Meanwhile stick to hope and the positive - the fact that your fiancee still sticks up for you. She and mom are still on your side, aren't they? That's enough to sustain hope. Best wishes for a happy resolution.
524617
I'm so sorry about what has happened to you... *HUGS*... You have to think hard about everything. Weigh things carefully. Should you and your wife get back together, there should be love for each other.  The first thing that you have to do is to fix yourself, physically and emotionally. Get help from your family. I know how it feels to be hurting inside, not knowing what to do with the feeling. It kills you inside. You want to cry but crying isn't enough to let your feelings out. Just fix yourself first. More importantly, fix yourself emotionally. From there, you'll know what to do next...
166972
So sorry for what you are going through... She should have remembered her vows and stood strong for you while you are away.  If someone vows to love, honor, and cherish you until death and they try to find someone else while you're away, you are better off without her.  I know it will hurt and in time you will hopefully heal and find a great woman. Good luck to you.
575674
Is there a legitimate reason for you to feel this way?  Has anything happened in your relationship recently to cause these feelings, ie: abuse?  1 of 2 things can be going on here, either A. your subconscious/gut/intuition is telling you that you're about to make a MAJOR mistake in marrying this guy or B. you're major league stressed out over the wedding.  B becomes more probable the bigger your wedding is.  With 3 more weeks to go, the stress will continue to accumulate.  So I'd be more inclined to say this is nerves.  Try to keep your stress level lower, and remember to do something for yourself that isn't wedding related every day.\n\nTalk to someone you trust about your feelings, hopefully that would be your financee.  But if it's not, then really think hard about marrying him.  It's much better and easier all around to end an engagement than a marriage.  Your husband should be your best friend, there should be nothing you cannot share with him.
591881
Its really fun....I'm going through the same thing myself...my girlfriend of 2 yrs called it off 3 days ago and I'm suck in the same predicament. I absolutely can relate to you because I'm afraid that I won't ever find someone that I care and love. Not to mention she was my first girlfriend. To make it worse she tells me that she doesn't really see a future with me even though she tells me she loves me. Anyways I just want to tell you that its ok and hopefully both of us will be ok in the future. I wish you luck and I feel your pain. Oh, and the Dr. Steve answer is not fair... I'm not a teenager and I'm going through this so to say that "its a meaningless relationship" is cruel.
469035
I know it's hard because I know how you feel sort of!  I haven't had the same problems but I got married quite young.  I'm an American so I didn't start parting till I was 21 and got married at 22.  I sometimes watch shows about Ibiza and so on and like why can't I go there?  Plus, I have problems in my head from High School and everytime I try to talk to my husband he is like "Your'll get over it!"  Still he knows when I need to talk and he'll listen.  So sent down with you husband and tell him what is going on before you get depressed!
27311
I'm sure your mother means well, but she doesn't understand the hurt and pain that you are going through. It's easy for her to say "Put it away" because she's not the one who was betrayed.\n\nWhether or not to attend the wedding should be entirely your choice. Don't let anyone else guilt you into going. If you are still working through the hurt, you have to do what's right for you. Everyone has the right to set and maintain their own boundaries and to work through their pain on their own schedule.\n\nDo what you know is right in your heart, and don't let anyone else make you feel bad about it. You don't owe an explanation or justification, either. Stick to something simple: "I just don't feel ready to do that" should suffice.\n\nHopefully someday you'll be able to work through this and have a relationship with your sister. But that's something that cannot be rushed, and no one else has the right to push you.\n\nDr. Barb Nefer, http://www.bnlifeskills.com
449679
Hi Mitch,\nI'm sorry to hear you are having these feeling at your age. I'm a clinical therapist and work children/adults with many different disorders. I can only go on what you are telling so please bear with me. \nFirst I feel you really need to sit down with your gf and tell her what is going on. If you have plans to marry this women,you can't have any secrets.If you really love this women tell her you have not passed your courses.However, you will take some night classes or finsh online. Getting your education is going to be very important. If you want to be a stay at home dad you better let your gf know,you will have to know her feelings on this matter as well,be honest,open.\n\nYour parents what whats best for you, I'm sure if you tell them you have been overwhelmed and that you feel depressed. They might understand what is going on with you,and get you the help you need.\n\nLast but not least you need to go to see a Dr. to see why you are feeling down.Could be if you get on the right meds you will start to feel better and become your old self. \n\nAlso Mitch, drinking is not going to help you forget your problems,it will only numb it for a while. But tomorrow you will be facing the same thing.\n\nLike I told you sit down maybe take her out to dinner and tell her you have not been feeling well, you not sure why,but you think you should see a Dr. to see if her can help you get yourself together.I will be glad to help you..                                              email is lessnesmonster@yahoo.com\n\nHope to hear from you and God Bless