My favorite is probably:\n"There's an old saying in Tennessee — I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee — that says, fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can't get fooled again."
138310
Damn, I was going to try to say something clever, but after reading all of your answers I'm laughing too hard. Hey he's made a few mistakes, he admits as much, But I still like the guy. Y'll leave him along now, you hear me.
474332
Will, from Will & Grace said it best to Jack, "Even on your BEST day, you could NEVER be me".  I love it!\n\n\n:)
221523
That's classic!\n\nHere is another quote about West Texas I found:\n\n"I like my buddies from west Texas. I liked them when I was young, I liked them then I was middle-age, I liked them before I was president, and I like them during president, and I like them after president." —George W. Bush, Nashville, Tenn., Feb. 1, 2006\n\nAnd one more quote that may show more evidence of his being our first female president:\n\n"I'm looking for a good cowboy." \n-George W. Bush\nSource: White House web site, Feb. 21, 2005\n\nI reported aztigh.\n\nI can't wait for 2008!\n\nPeace IS Patriotic
189039
"Texans always move em,"  Gen.Lee-- Virginia 1864\n"Give me a army of West Point boys, I will win a battle. Give me a handful of Texas Aggie's, I will win a war." Gen. Patton---France/Italy 1944\n"Sir, I have the enemy exactly where I want them, everywhere I shoot I hit one..." Last transmission of a Son of Texas after being overrun at Cho'sin---Korea.\nWhy don't you go find some real history soldier, and tell me which state made more sacrifice in American conflicts. Or are you a Bush Yankee.
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Billy Madison\nOld Farm Lady: If peeing in your pants is cool, consider me Miles Davis\nOr when he is at Veronica’s house and sees the penguin at the top of the stairs:\nOhhhh. I see whats goin on here. So soooory to interuuupt!
365160
You're lucky I love this book and it's sitting next to me...\n\nAtticus: "if you can learn a simple trick, Scout, you'll get along a lot better with all kinds of folks. You never really understand a person until you see things from his point of view--"\nScout: "Sir?"\nAtticus: "--until you climb into his skin and walk around in it."\n\n\nThe two answerers above me- did you ever consider this is a high school student that can't figure it out?  Perhaps they are being lazy or perhaps they just don't know which quote is correct.  Don't answer the question if you're just going to be a jerk.
213612
I'd say it's more of a, \n\n"Fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can't get fooled again."
258144
Not as long as you acknowledge where the quote originated or who copyrighted it.  Such as my favorites:\n"Ah, well, I am a great and sublime fool. But then I am God's fool, and all His work must be contemplated with respect."\n- Mark Twain, a Biography\n\n"The time is always right to do what is right" - Martin Luther King, Jr.\n\n"A righteous man cares for the needs of his animal." Proverbs 12:10\n\n"Ask the animals, and they will teach you." Job 12:7-10 \n\n"Though all creatures are subject to man's cruelty, God loves all His creation and has made plans for all His children and the lesser creatures to enjoy His eternal Kingdom." Psalm 145:-9-10,13,15-21 AMP
588430
All time favorite:  "Sometimes I wave to people I don't know.  It's very dangerous to wave to people you don't know, because what if they don't have a hand?  They'll think you're cocky.  “Look what I got motherfucker, this thing is useful. . . I'm gonna go pick something up.”\n\nRunners up:\n  "When you go to a restaurant on the weekends and it’s busy they start a waiting list. They start calling out names, they say “Dufrane, party of two. Dufrane, party of two.” And if no one answers they’ll say their name again. “Dufrane, party of two, Dufrane, party of two.” But then if no one answers they’ll just go right on to the next name. “Bush, party of three.” Yeah, but what happened to the Dufranes? No one seems to give a shit. Who can eat at a time like this - people are missing. You fuckers are selfish… the Dufranes are in someone’s trunk right now, with duct tape over their mouths. And they’re hungry! That’s a double whammy. We need help. Bush, search party of three! You can eat when you find the Dufranes."\n\n"Alcoholism is a disease, but it's the only one you can get yelled at for having. Goddamn it Otto, you are an alcoholic. Goddamn it Otto, you have Lupis... one of those two doesn't sound right."\n\n"I was at this casino minding my own business, and this guy came up to me and said, "You're gonna have to move, you're blocking a fire exit." As though if there was a fire, I wasn't gonna run. If you're flammible and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit."\n\n"You know they call corn-on-the-cob, "corn-on-the-cob", but that's how it comes out of the ground. They should just call it corn, and every other type of corn, corn-off-the-cob. It's not like if someone cut off my arm they would call it "Mitch", and then re-attached it, and call it "Mitch-all-together". \n\n" like buying snacks from a vending machine because food is better when it falls. Sometimes at the grocery, I'll drop a candy bar so that it will achieve its maximum flavor potential."\n\n\n\nThese ones are good too:\n"I'm an ice sculptor. Last night I made a cube."\n\n"A guy came up to me in the airport, saying, "Dude, I saw you on TV last night!" But he did not say whether or not he thought I was good. He just confirmed I was on television. So I turned away for a minute, and then I turned back toward him and said, "I saw you at the airport about a minute ago. And you were good!"\n\n"I think pickles are cucumbers that sold out. They sold their soul to the devil, and the devil is dill..."
425883
i thought it was so hilarious!  \n\n"Have you ever broken a Puerto Rican dudes arms for sweatpant money?" -Darnell\n"I heard the Irabs were looking for more oil, they should probably drill into your face, god your face is greasy."- Kip\n"I was watching a john travolta movie about your face today, dirtbag.  which one, saturday night fever? No grease!" - Kip\n\nwell those are the only ones i can think of now, but there are a ton! i love it!!
300223
“I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.” \n Robert McCloskey \n \n      “Love is like a booger. You keep picking at it until you get it, then wonder what to do with it.”\n\n“Life is one fool thing after another whereas love is two fool things after each other.” \n Oscar Wilde \n \n      “Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.”\n\n      “Sometimes I lie awake at night, and ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.'” \n Charles M. Schulz \n \n\n“I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet.” \n Rodney Dangerfield \n \n      “I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather... Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.” \n Will Shriner\n \n      “My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the hell she is.” \n Ellen DeGeneres \n \n      “Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?” \n George Carlin
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FOR WESMEISTER:  Answer not a fool according to his folly lest thou also be like unto him.\n                                                 Proverbs 26:4
537903
I like # 3 - that quote will mean more and more to you as you get older.\n\nI particularly like this one:\n\nYesterday is history, tomorrow's a mystery, today is a gift.  That's why we call it the present.
614748
mine is "I'm the bad guy you learn to hate, but you gotta respect the fact that i created my fat" by I.C.C. {Inner Circle Committee} in thier sond Going Out: http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=52455944&MyToken=70b0433b-85ae-487b-9dc2-1cf48b7e473c
666342
hurt me once--shame on you\nhurt me twice--shame on ME
334530
"We all got it coming, kid."  From Unforgiven.\n\n"Swell" he says every time his dog misbehaves from Sudden Impact\n\n"I gotta tell ya chief, your mouthwash?  It ain't working."  Dirty Harry\n\n"My friends, Smith and Wesson here....." from Sudden Impact.
411024
Just a few of the favs:\n\nBilly Clanton: Why, it's the drunk piano player. You're so drunk, you can't hit nothing. In fact, you're probably seeing double.\nDoc Holliday: I have two guns, one for each of ya.\n\nDoc Holliday: Why Ike, whatever do you mean? Maybe poker's just not your game. I know! Let's have a spelling contest!\n\nDoc: Yes, but there's just something about him. Something around the eyes, I don't know, reminds me of... me. No. I'm sure of it, I hate him.\n\nDoc: I'm your huckleberry.\n\nJohnny Ringo: It's quoted in the bible, Revelations: Behold the pale horse. The man who sat on him was death, and Hell followed with him.\n\nWyatt: All right, Clanton... you called down the thunder, well now you've got it! You see that? \nIt says United States Marshal! \nTake a good look at him, Ike... 'cause that's how you're gonna end up! \nThe Cowboys are finished, you understand? I see a red sash, I kill the man wearin' it! \nSo run, you cur... RUN! Tell all the other curs the law's comin'! \nYou tell 'em I'M coming... and hell's coming with me, you hear?... \nHell's coming with me!