I was sexually abused by a kid I knew (a friend, I thought) when I was 6.  He was 12.  He went as far as to have sex with me. I don't think that he would have known that much unless he'd been abused himself.  It's 10 years later, and I finally turned him in.  I don't think there would be any evidence left, so it would me my word against his word.  But, if he confesses to it, then would he get put in prison? How long? What would happen to him?  I don't want him to be put in prison- would I have ANY say in it?  Is there anything I could do?
125066
you won't have a say if he goes to prison...it will depend on plea bargain, judge or jury. may not go to jail since he was aminor at the time, but he will prob. have to be a registered sex offender for life
380083
Yes, my youngest brother, 12 years my junior, was a school teacher.  In 1998 he was arrested for molestation of three girls (two were his students).  He plead to the charges and went to jail for four years (not long enough).\n\nYou see, I had been molested as a child, not by a teacher but that mattered little.  And, I work with many women and even some men who were molested as a child.  I became so angry that I made myself ill.\n\nEveryone in my family suffered horribly.  My parents, in shame, not knowing who or what to believe (they know now its true) spent every weekend going to see in him prison.  They had just retired and their retirement plans were blown away.  Even if we wanted to have a family event and have them miss a weekend, he would cry and manipulate them into going.  They went from happy and healthy people (in their 60s) to tired and aged by the time he got out.\n\nI have gotten help for my mom and she now accepts what happened and that she is in no way to blame.\n\nMy poor neice and nephew had to go into that awful place to visit their dad.  He deserved it, they did not.  After he got out they were not allowed to see him at all.  To make matters worse, they lied to my neice about why he was gone.\n\nThe rest of us also suffered because our family was torn asunder and our children and grandchildren were deprived of their grandparents as well.\n\nAnd his victims...well, their lives are a mess.\n\nI have come to terms with it and forgiven him, but never will I forget.  He stole my parents good years, he hurt his own children emotionally, and three girls out there will NEVER be the same.
658927
No.  Paedophiles admit themselves that they will reoffend.  They can't help themselves.  It's an overwhelming desire within them that drives them to such monstrosities.  However, it is possible that they are repentant, and that prison is extremely unmerciful for Paedophiles.  As such, they should be released from prison after their sentence is complete, and into full -time residential Psychiatric care, like a sealed community, into which no innocent children must ever venture.  It will remain a prison because it must be secure, but it will contain only child-molesters.  Psychiatric help should be available to these individuals as it may be that they have traumatic pasts themselves, but they should never, ever be released into society - ours or another.\n\nIt is true that this will rely on the tax-payer's money, but who would rather they roamed the streets amongst our children, grandchildren, nieces and nephews than we paid a few extra quid to keep them locked away?\n\nP.S. Castration is a good idea in theory, but they still have hands and mouths... (sorry to be distasteful, but it's an ugly truth...)
576952
To the person who is a Criminal Major. You are being taught what they want you to know, not what the truth is. To the person who mentioned a different study of each type of crime, you can read that exact study at the link this asker posted. \n\nThe recidivism rate for sex offenders is very low. It is much lower than any other crime, with the exception of murder.\n\nOne of you stated to ask the child. Well, I was molested as a child twice. Once at 6 and again at 11. I am not a VICTIM. I am a SURVIVOR. You will find if you talk to many of these people who are now adults they are survivors. We have several in our Yahoo support Group at http://groups.yahoo.com/group/roar_4_freedom\n\nBecoming a Survivor isn't easy, but it can be done. As many of us can attest too. The main thing that makes one a Survivor is learning to forgive. That is the problem with the many different therapists that have the victims in therapy. They only teach them that they are victims and they should hate. This is not the case and should not be a part of therapy. In many therapies this isn't done and these children lead productive normal lives.\n\nThe memory of what happened to them as a child will always be present, it is what they do with that memory that makes them a victim or a survivor. \n\nIf any of you were molested as a child, get into a good therapy session. Even if you are now an adult. You are also more than welcome to join our support group that I posted above.
91545
I think that you should be able to. I am not sure how old you are now, but I don't think that that is relevant in this case...there really isn't a way that you can turn someone in for doing some alleged thing in an anonymous fashion. It does however seem to me that this person has a sickness that is still playing out today, so you should report this to the authorities. I think that a private investigator would take something like this on for a small charge. If you could get him caught in the act, that would be the difference in the penalties that he would have to pay.\n\nI hope that you haven't suffered any side effects from this sicko. But, you may not even realize it. There are a lot of people that come forth years after something like this and find justice served. You could also try to find that other girl that you are talking about...most likely she would feel the same way, as this is not normal for anyone in today's society. \n\nYou can click on the following link to get you started...Remember to stay strong and that if you can do something now, you will save another child from going through the same thing that you did...and remember that if he is older now and still has the same sickness, he will not be so concerned about consent from the next victims. \n\nhttp://www.missingkids.com/missingkids/servlet/PageServlet?LanguageCountry=en_US&PageId=169
243762
Often times children mimic what they know. You've established he was abused... so unless someone helped him as a child (counseling) this person now probably has a distorted view of sex, boundaries, etc. This child may one day pay by doing something to someone who not only will speak up, but PRESS CHARGES!
50984
You've gotta make a stand on this one. If you're really up to it - rally the others who got molested years before. Then make a fight on this. That guy deserves the worst. Jail just doesn't justify...
592357
Well, it really depends on the statute where you are, but technically age has nothing to do with the term "molest".  It's an improper sexual touch. You really do need to contact the authorities and report it, but really it becomes your word against his unless there was a third party witness. But, because i'm not a lawyer, and i can not give out legal advice, what i would do personally is contact the police and get advice from them or a lawyer.
509529
The first two obviously don't know what the term means, and jp is has erronious information.  Some state's (like Texas) will continue prosecution even if the parents opt out of prosecuting.  \n\nNot sure the jailtime, but one things for sure, he'll most likely be labled a "sex offender" and have to register his address on the state's website for all to see, and he won't be able to live within 1000 feet of a school, bus stop, park, or church.  it's 2000 in some communities.\n\n\nIt would appear that some edu-ma-cation is in order here: \n\nStatutory Rape is CONSENTUAL sex with someone who is not of legal age to give consent.  IOW, it's screwing while in junior and high school for most of the country.
563242
I was molested from the early age of about 9 years to 17 years.....and it has effected my life in ways I would never have guessed. I have trust issues, I let myself gain alot of weight when I was younger(hoping to make myself as unatractive as I could in my teen years), I have anger, body issues now..and trouble with intimacy. I have wanted to commit suicide, and became depressed because I felt like the only thing I good for was sex. I am now in therapy and doing so much better. Its hard to discuss, because you feel ashamed and blame myself.....It never goes away, but you can learn to deal with it and love yourself again.
45543
First of all, he is a grown up and you, even though you don't want to be, are still considered a child.  If he is doing what you are describing, it is illegal.  It has a variety of names, including sexual harassment, sexual abuse, child abuse, soliciting, corrupting the morals of a minor, abuse of power, etc.\n\nYou write as if you are a fairly intelligent girl, so you already know this is not right.  You have to tell someone, preferably your parents.  If that is not your best option, tell a counselor, a social worker, the principal, or the police, or maybe even all of those.  Know that things might get messy when everyone begins to find out what has been happening, but if he is doing this to you, he is probably also doing it to others.  So I suspect a number of people may already know, but like you, so far they are not doing anything about it.\n\nWhy do you have to tell?  You have to tell to stop it from happening to you and also to stop it from happening to others in the future.  You have to tell because it is the right thing to do.  You have to tell because if you don't, this will get worse, not better.  Do you have a younger sister or do you know younger girls?  Do you want it to happen to them?\n\nSome may say you brought this on yourself becsause of the clothes you wear, and while that may be partly correct, it still doesn't make it ok for him to do what he is doing.  He is supposed to know better, and is supposed to be mature and able to handle the sometimes not so smart things teenagers can do.\n\nNow girl, get some respect for yourself.  You say you don't mind some of the things he does.  YOU SHOULD MIND THE THINGS HE DOES.  HE IS TAKING ADVANTAGE OF YOU AND USING YOU.  The things he is doing should happen only between people who are equals and who both agree to them.  Whether you agree to them or not, you and he are not equals.  Whether you enjoy the feelings of some of them or not, it is still not right for him to do it.  He is in a position of power and authority over you.  He is doing something that could and should land him in jail.\n\nGet to someone as fast as you can and tell and stop this from happening.
564218
You can still get the guy for molestation and attempted rape!  Just because you're 14 doesn't mean he didn't do those things to you, older women get molested and raped and they press charges... your detective is a fool!
236602
No, and definitely no.\n\nYou are still a child and anyone having sex with you is a child abuser and should be in prison.\n\nYou shouodn't be having sex at all, and especially not with condoms.\n\nYou should talk to your police about the sex. Even if you feel that it was your choice, it wasn't. Sex at age 11 is rape, even if you feel you were into it.\nRape is NEVER ok.
215982
Sir, I can speak from personal experience on this subject. I am a pedophile. Pedophilia is incurable, but it can be managed. Management is entirely dependant on the pedophiles personal conviction to not offend or reoffend. In my case I abused many times before I was caught commiting an offense. I was on probation and in psychothearpy from August 1992 until August 1999. I am not proud of what I did but I am proud to say that the last time I offended was in late 1991. I continue to this day to use many of the tools I was taught in my thearpy. I avoid being left alone with children, I don't go to places where there are large numbers of unattended children (ie; arcades, movie theaters, playgrounds, etc). When I see a child that is attractive to me I leave. When I think of a child in an inappropriate way I try to distract myself by becomming active in some other thought process. These are only a very few examples of how to avoid, control and escape potentially dangerous situations. It takes a great deal of practice to make it so it is almost second nature.\n \nThe thoughts I do have of children will likely continue for the remainder of my life. That is a given, by the treatment providers. The thoughts are not the problem though, it is what you do with them that matters. Fortunatly, I have been able to keep them under control, and pray that I will continue to do so.\n\nI expect that I will recieve some negitive feedback after posting this. I hope that those that hate me for what I have done in my past will consider that I have made sincere efforts to change my life. I cannot undo the past. I can only control my actions for the future.\n\nAs far as pedophilia being a mental disease it is. Please click the link below and read all three pages on this subject. The second page deals specifically wit the fact that it is a disease.\n\n Hope this all helps
666325
That depends upon the specific state law.  Some states draw a firm line at the age of consent while others allow for a "window" where a 15 & 17 year old might be OK even when the age is 16.  You need to consult with an attorney licensed in your state to get an exact interpretation of the law.  \n\nSince you failed to post your state, it's not possible to research it any further.  On-line research has its limitations as well, as sites that cover this topic may not be up-to-date and recent changes in the law could either protect you or condemn you.\n\nHint:  If you're being brought up on charges, you already know the answer.  If the 15 yr old's parents are threatening charges, they've probably already checked the law.  They MIGHT be blowing smoke, but do you want to risk a lifetime on sex-offender registries and find out the hard way??\n\nBased on the information that you provided outside of this forum, I'd suggest that you back down until the young lady turns 16.  The laws are vague enough in your state that you could find yourself in deep doo-doo if her parents push the issue.  There is NO love that is worthy of a lifetime on sex-offender registries; let alone a stretch in prison as the "girlfriend" of some big, hairy, smelly ogre.
608485
How can you be a former pedophile. I can't imagine that a person would have those urges and suddenly they just go away. It's like saying I used to be a murderer. The urge to kill/molest never goes away. If you have gotten your urges under control it doesn't mean you aren't a pedophile - it just means you control your desire to touch children inappropriately.\n\nThe other thing I want to ask you is, how do you think you can make up for what you did? I was molested as a child and it still affects my life every day. You molested at least one child - I think your life should be judged by the pain you caused and how many you children your hurt. I think you need to suffer every single day what you did to each of those children causes them pain or alters their lives....
538579
I was 14 and that person was about to turn 15\nThe person was my best friend since 5 yrs old not anymore\nThat person was a male\nHis parents do not know & i dont want them to \nNo it never was reported but I have told my counselor.\nI don't tell others because when i do all I get is "Who in the h*ll would want to know that" Then tells me i'm a wh*re all because I was molested... :(  but ya know I can be VERY open with my personal life if only ppl didnt respond to me like that. O'well. \n\nHonestly it makes me feel weird u post this but I figured I had a chance to let it out...it's nice for you to work with kids. Take care sweetie :)