At what point is counseling unavoidable?\n\nIn the last four years, I've lost two grandparents to heart disease and cancer, broken up with my ex-fiancee of 2 1/2 years, lost multiple jobs, moved four times, had a pet pass away, and attempted suicide twice.\n\nDo I seek counseling for all of these issues at once, or do I tackle them individually?\n\nMy depression score was rated at 94 out of 100.\n\nI have not worked at a regular job in nearly two years, I sold my car in order to pay my credit card bills, and I work odd jobs around my parent's house to earn enough money to eat.\n\nI have not gone on a date in two years and have not been with a woman in three years.\n\nAll of my friends from college have drifted away entirely or lost touch with me, my family constantly nags on me to "get better," and in addition to all of this I am contacted regularly by angels and ghosts from the spirit world, whether on or off medication.\n\nI have contemplated suicide many, many times and I am very, very unhappy.
133952
You need to seek counselling for all of these issues at once. Print off this question that you wrote and take it with you. Then, your therapist can choose which order to deal with what issue in. Good luck. The good news is that if you took the time to ask this question, you are ready for some help. Talking to someone whose objective is great and nothing to be ashamed of.
396913
I feel for you,  you sound like you are going through a terrible deppresion.   Im glad you are seeing a counsellor.  hope you continue too.   I think you need a prescription from your doctor though to help you through this.  It is so sad all the trama you have been through in such a short time.   I am not preaching but I will definetly say a prayer for you I think you might need help from every angle.   Do you have a spouse or family to talk to?\nCrying is normal but not continuous and sleeping that much is not good for you either.  You are going to have to try very hard to face this and hold yourself up and believe you can do it!\nI have had times like this and you need to get interested in something even if it is on the computer you might be able to reach out to someone else.   Please try to discourage the suicide thoughts I know it is hard but there are people who need you somewhere and that is very final.  I want nothing but the best for you so please keep in touch and let me know how you are making it through your days.       \nLife is Beautiful hon.   keep your head up and spirits higher.
266975
Personally living through a lot of messed up situations and abuse on all sorts of levels. I think you have to live it to preach it and know a lot of information to be able to help. A lot of councelling did not help me at all. I saw 9 different shrinks in 3 years and nothing. It took changing everything in my life and a lot soul searching to help myself and now I have a lot more good days then bad. But it took a lot of hard work to get myself here.
268560
What looks like a mountain of trouble and heartache today, may be just a little bump in the road tomorrow. You must see a Doctor. Do what the doctor tells you. Depression is real, it is dangerous...it is treatable. Believe me, I suffer from it myself. You have to want to survive, believe in the goodness of yourself. Your family loves you. They may not understand you...but then, no one is ever completely understood by their loved ones! Do you understand them?  We are all unique in our own special ways!\nSee, you have come to this site for help...that is a wonderful thing,,,you are reaching out for help...I am so proud of you! Now, go a step further, go to someone else, get a doctor. Tell someone who can get you to real help. You are in a survival mode...be your own best friend! Suicide is not the answer...get help right now...
211919
Keep fighting! You can't give up, no matter how hard it is. You are loved, and there are people who would miss you, no matter how bad it looks. And truly, if you haven't already, do get help, because as humiliating or weak as it may sound, it is not. I got help and you will never know how good life is until you have lived without depression. If you had a disease, would you feel shame going to the doctor for it? Depression is a disease, and you don't have to fight it alone. Please, don't give up.
352144
Please listen very carefully? Dial the info line, 211 , that's the number, 211. They can put you in touch with someone who will not be insensitive. I have used this number on many occasions also for suicidal thoughts. The person called me back with-in 20 minutes and talked me down. I am thankful for the info line and the way they run it. I too battle depression and I know it's probably going to be with me for the rest of my life BUT I also know that there Are people out there that can and have helped. The operator will ask you the nature of the call and then you tell him/her that you need to speak to a psychologist about your depression, she will ask you what area you live in so that this person will be close to you. It really helped and I felt much better. If you think you need to be in the hospital, she can call ahead to let them know you are coming, again they are here to listen and direct you to whatever you need. Don't give up and I am really sorry you are going through this, I really am. Please dial 211 or your local hospital and they will help you! Be Safe.
350611
You know, I don't know if this would help you or not but I have found that people who are depressed sometimes feel better by volunteering at a shelter, hospital, etc.  Helping those who are less fortunate than you makes you feel grateful for what you have and also gives you a sense of purpose and meaning in your life.  Also reading the Bible and praying couldn't hurt.  It is all worth a try.  What do you have to lose?  You only have one life and you don't want to throw it down the drain.  You are important and have a reason for being on this earth.  When you have suicidal thoughts you must not dwell on them.  I know this is easy for us to say and we aren't living with your pain, but you have to keep trying.  Do whatever it takes.  Also if the meds aren't working, keep trying different meds and if needed different docs.  I know you have been doing it for 15 years but this is your life we are talking about.  Do it for 50 if you have to!  Good luck and God Bless.
339050
I actually felt the same way. The best first step you can take before you do anything drastic like dropping out or withdrawing is to go in and talk to a counselor. Your college probably has a CAPS (Counselling & Psychological Services) center, where you can meet with a counselor who has helped many people with problems similar to yours! Do not lose hope...when you are depressed, things usually seem worse then they really are. Take this first step and see what your options are, and maybe you will be able to find some solutions to your depression. I made this choice and it has helped me immensely.
325057
Wow.  You've really covered all the bases.  You need a lot of things, including a better job, a better place to live, a little self-confidence (who cares if your interests are not popular? *Someone* shares them), and you sound like you are in a bad relationship.  (Good relationships should never have the words "borrowed someone else's")\n\nMy advice to you is to focus on what you do have.  You're still alive, so you have a chance to change things.  You have an Internet access somehow, so you can start looking for a better job and ways to improve your job skills and resume.  Everything you want: closeness to friends and family, money, job satisfaction, etc., all take *work*.  I know you're going to have issue with that since you are lacking in motivation.\n\nThere are lots of people online who sympathize with you.  Let them be your accountability partners.  Find *someone* who shares your interests, or your troubles, or *something* in common with you and ask them to give you a boost when you're unmotivated.  Pick the worst problem in your life and work on it, and when you are unmotivated then fight that feeling and ask those who offer you friendship to work on it.  The Internet is a great place to ask for a pen pal to give you a kind word now and again, and many are willing to do it.\n\nYou've clearly defined your problems.  That's more than a lot of people are able to do.  You can work up from there.  I really hope you are able to rise above the position you are in now.\n\nI know, all this is based on the premise that you are able to rise above depression without the help of a medical professional.  Some people are physically / chemically broken and require some help to get out of depression.  Some have milder forms and are able to cope with it by finding strategies to keep the mind focused.  Since you do not have insurance, let's see how far you can get on trying new coping strategies.
603973
I'm sure more people than you realize go through the situation you described. I know I have! And I also understand what you mean when you say that you don't want to go through it all again to form another friendship. Relationships take a lot of work to initiate and to maintain!\n\nI know you said that you can't afford a counselor, but I would really look into it some more. Do you have health insurance? They usually help you cover some of the cost; I know mine does. And if you find a therapist you like (that's really important--don't just go to anyone), tell him/her about your financial situation (be really honest about it, he/she will usually understand). If you're in school or employed, the school or job will usually have a mental health benefit so you can see a counselor or a therapist for free for a certain number of sessions. This can really be helpful--it may give you some insight into other things that may be going on for you, as well as help you figure out what the best solution(s) are in your situation. They'll also do a broader assessment and refer you to someone if they feel as though you may need additional support.\n\nHow long has this loneliness been going on? You write "lately" but does that mean a week, a month, a year? And are the "friends" that you're with right now the same ones that betrayed your trust before? How do you know them?\n\nI also completely understand when you write that you don't want to be someone's burden. I think many of us feel that way! When we have a problem or an issue that seems to consume a lot of our time and energy, that's all we want to talk about, and it may FEEL like the person we're talking to doesn't want to listen anymore or is only doing it to be nice. Believe me when I say (and I have been in both positions) that it is absolutely NOT TRUE. People DO want to listen to you! After all, relationships are two-way streets--when you share, the other person will feel more open and comfortable to share with you too.\n\nI like the suggestion of a few other people who have also answered this question: get involved with a group. Join some sort of activity (e.g., book reading club, running club, knitting club, group through a religious/spiritual organization, human rights advocacy group, etc.) in which you will automatically have something in common with the other people there. After all, you're all there for a reason, right? Conversations will be a lot easier to start that way, and it may be easier to find someone that you naturally "click" with.\n\nTake care.
427483
Going to therapy is a very effective way to sort out your feelings without being judged.  You are receiving counseling from someone who doesn't know you.  They don't know if you have dirty dishes under your bed.  A counselor is not in a position to judge you - and they are there to help you.\n\nI would take full advantage of the therapy you are getting.  It's a great way to vent - and to learn new techniques (like coping skills, acceptance, etc.).  Therapy can work miracles for people who just need a little guidance to sort out thoughts.\n\nLife can be overwhelming, especially if you are experiencing difficulty or strife, in any area of your personal life.\n\nIf you went to therapy, and the counselor talked about his/her own problems or what they were having for dinner next week, you would not get anything out of the session.  Believe it or not, your therapist is coming to understand you as a person, to determine the best way to help you with whatever difficulties you may have in your life.\n\nI saw a therapist for a couple of years - and now I wish I could afford to go every week.  It was helpful for me -- and if you really put all your effort into it, it will be helpful for you, too.\n\nYou are lucky that you can afford to go to therapy - there are many who need it but don't have the means to obtain it, or worse, don't even know that they need it.\n\nGood luck -- keep your chin up and smile!
651050
Counseling is the only thing I can suggest.  That's some pretty heavy baggage and I don't think you are going to find the answers on here.
57250
Hi there..\n   Our stories are similar and I'm always open for new online friends :) But you really should try and find someone to talk to in your real life like a therapist or counselor? Is there some reason you haven't done so before..?\n\n   In order to heal from anything traumatic, you must process it somehow. Talking about it is the key, but its something you should talk to a professional about.\n\nIts not your fault;you've done nothing wrong. There's nothing wrong with getting help when you need it. And you need to find it inside yourself to do it for yourself, not just your kids and family. You're worth it!! :D
54358
I was depressed when I left college and downed a bottle of aspirin to make all the sh*t go away. It didn't work, (well, i'm still here afterall lol). I then tried to think things through and decided I had only a couple of options open to me. 1) I could go see a shrink, listen to all their BS and end up on psych drugs. 2) Kill myself. (Both 1 and 2 equated to the same horror as far as I was concerned). Or 3) Find something that would give me purpose in life, find strength and the will to create my life as I see fit. Thinking this meant "finding God", I grabbed the nearest encyclopedia and read as much as I could on religion and spirituality. Most of it was a bit of a turn off, truth be told. I was an atheist then and believed that I was responsible for my life and future and simply refused to accept that I was some pawn or puppet of forces out of my control. But I eventually did find some data that matched my beliefs: Buddhism and Scientology. I did as much research as possible, looked at all the pros and cons and, being the eclectic that I am, used bits of both philosophies to sort myself out. I also did some self-improvement courses that addressed my low self-esteem and self-confidence, and in the space of 1-2 months I had erased a lifetime of introversion, depression and misery.\n\nThat was how I did. And it worked for me. There are so many different options available out there, you should do as much research as possible so you can find something that works for you. If you are genuinely to the point of ending it all then that is your choice, but there is help out there if you reach for it. These guys, especially, are on call 24-7 to talk and help if you need to. http://www.volunteerministers.org/eng/help/index.htm
447736
First I would like to say I'm sorry for your loss of a family member.  Yes, you sound like you are depressed to me.  If you researched the symptoms, you would see yourself.  I've been depressed many times myself, and I can tell you it is no fun.  You get no pleasure out of doing anything, and all you want to do is sleep.  What you got to do is get up and do something for yourself, but before you do that, I want you to think REAL HARD about what I'm going to say.  No one controls your life but you.  What has happend, is in the past, and you live for tomorrow, not yesterday.  Everything that has happened is all water under the bridge, you can't do anything about it, and you need to stop dwelling on the past.  There is no one that can do a single thing about your situation except you.  You can either lay there, and drown in self pitty, or you can get up, and move on with your life.  No its not easy, but remember YOU are in charge of your life, and if you don't point it in a positive direction, then who will?  Sure you have a reason to be depressed, but how many days will you let the sun rise and set on another day without fun in your life?  You may have to make yourself get up and do something, but this you have to do, or loose your mind.  You may have a lot to be depressed about, but you have more to not be depressed about.  A person thats depressed cannot concentrate on school work, and you probably aren't getting anywhere.  You KNOW what the problems are, and you KNOW what you have to do to make them go away.  Get up, and get it done.  Put some fun back into your life.  Keep yourself busy to occupy your mind, and if you have to; please seek medical advice from someone, a doctor, a pastor, or just a friend that you can talk to, but do this before you end up at the bottom of a pit that you can't crawl out of.  Get off your @ss and do it, and do it now!  Don't tell yourself that you will do this tomorrow, because you know good and well that won't happen.  I hope this helps you some way.  Good Luck!!!
617064
Sigh, I hear this one a lot.\n\nMost people get a little bit depressed many times during their lives--often many times a year.  This is a normal thing, and although annoying, it doesn't impair function all that much.  Counseling is helpful, here, but not always needed.\n\nNot all depression is as simple as that, however--and your question implies that you've not met the really major depressions, where individuals are plagued by thoughts of suicide, and where their ability to take care of their most basic needs are impaired by the severity of the depression.  No counselor would claim that counselling alone is appropriate there: the research clearly indicates that the return to normal function is fastest with BOTH medication and behavioral therapy.\n\nTo put it in a simplistic way...  Wounds heal on their own.  Is it, then, unethical for a doctor to stitch a six inch gash?  And a broken arm will heal on its own, too; is a cast therefore unethical? Good heavens, no to both!  The wound closure speeds the healing, and improves the quality of the resultant healing.  Setting that broken bone and immobilizing it in place makes it heal correctly, not incorrectly.  It's the same with antidepressants--and other psychoactive drugs for other conditions.\n\nThis is, again, a rather simplistic analysis--I've neglected the issue of the hereditary syndromes that can generate depression, for instance--but I hope I've given you the flavor of the reasoning for the medical decisions in this area...
99784
First, it's good that you realize you are depressed. So many people deny that there's anything wrong with them. I have suffered from depression and was suicidal. I was fortunate to find a truly great psychiatrist and therapist who helped me work through my problems. Besides all the things that caused me to become depressed, I have a chemical imbalance in my brain. When I first got sick (20 years ago) I refused medication. But, it came to the point where I needed it. Some people do, some don't. \n\nIf you have a doctor, make an appointment so that you can be evaluated. You may have to take some medicine, at least short-term. Medication can help to elevate your mood enough so that you can begin to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Your doctor should be able to refer you for counseling.\n\nFeeling as you do, it is hard to do well in school. The semester must be almost over. Perhaps you need a break from school and concentrate on feeling better before you tackle it again.\n\nI don't know what your debts consist of, but the Consumer Credit Counseling Service may have an office in your area. I've listed the link to their online service below. They are professionals who can help you get your debt under control, working with you to create a plan to get out of debt.\n\nAs for not having a boyfriend, I know it's hard, but perhaps you have enough to concentrate on without having to deal with one.\n\nYou say you live with your family. Do they know how you feel? Are they supportive? If so, talk to them. If not, follow through and call your doctor.\n\nI know it seems rather bleak and hopeless right now, but I've come a long way from where I was 6 years ago. It's been hard, but I did it.\n\nGod Bless!