my brother inlaw is a jerk he wont help with his sick mother or help with financeseather he lives with her
119060
He seems like a mean man. he will go to hell for that.
258723
My Mother in law is the same way. Does your husband know she does not like you? Does he stand up for you? THAT is what is important. This lady sounds way more than ridiculous. You can't have a car??? She knows she is in control and she is using that to her advantage. She WANTS you to leave your hubby........sounds like her goal is to make you miserable so you leave. Best advice? I KNOW this is hard but be as sweet as pie to her, almost sarcastic sweet. This will get to her more than anything. Talk with your husband, once he sets her strait that he loves you and there is nothing she can do to change that, things will get better! Good Luck
327518
Inlaws are bullies against their daughter inlaws usually because their sons don't stand up for their wives.  Any man worth his salt should stand up for the committment he made to be joined with his wife.  That means he has to let go of being tethered to his parents apron strings.  Good luck.
523605
Let my brother deal with it on his own.  He's an adult, let him work it out.
182873
You seriously need to make some serious changes. You have to create boundaries. It sounds like the requests you have made are falling on deaf hears. It seems to me you are trying to make everyone happy except yourself. Tell them if you are going to live in my house these are the rules if they don't like them they can leave. When your mom came back you could of asked her why are you here? When she said why do i have to tell them to pay the electric bill, it was because she is the one who invited them to stay. The things you are going to have to do will be uncomfortable. Your family will not like the new assertive you. Your mom is dependent on you and you are her co dependent. When she threatened you by saying she was going to leave and you said fine go ahead she was testing you. She did leave but she came back and you let her stay. So now what you say and what she says and your actions don't match. It's like when a parent tells his child no but then lets them have what they want. You have to back up what you say with actions and stick to them. You have fallen into the role of parent. You are not the parent you are the child but now your mom is acting like the child and now you are her parent. I think she should help you more. Do you want your brothers there? You did nothing wrong what i think you possibly feel is guilt because it is your mother and you feel obligated but your not obligated. No one should be taken advantage of.
3467
You need to stand up to your husband here, and tell him that his *inlaws* need to get the hell *out*!
315175
Personally I do not think, from what you have said, you are selfish at all! You still manage to fit in time to help even though you work long hours and they are only your in-laws.\nI cannot stand bitching behind peoples backs. I make a point of it. That when I am annoyed I will tell the person on the quiet everything rather than bitch about them behind their backs. \nThey may be more hurt, but I am sure they would rather be told than have everyone else in the office or wherever told!\nYour in-laws are obviously selfish. Perhaps talk to them, say I work very hard, long hours and still manage to help you.\nAppreciate what I do, rather than complain, else I will not do anything.\nGood Luck x
276656
It's not his mother's wedding, and I highly doubt she is footing the bill, so therefore, she has no say in where it is.  I don't think there's much you can do to stop the situation except maybe get caller i.d. and don't answer when his family calls.  As far as the manipulation, your man needs to stand up to his family and tell him he's not going to stand for them treating you with such disrespect.  Good luck!
392298
ok, so i lost you there at the end, but... there is always someone who gets all weird & acts distant to the family. they usually have other issues & i really suggest just staying out of it all & avoid such drama. making a fuss is only going to piss the brother off instead of making him WANT to be around the family. you can't assume it is only the woman who wants to keep him to herself. unless he says that. there may be much more to the situation than what you realize. so, i would just enjoy the family you have & accept your brother for the decisions he chooses to make.
604672
honestly, it's tricky when dealing with in-laws and even siblings.\nmoney will ALWAYS get in the way.\n\nit sounds like you guys were doing a great job at being family by doing things for each other...until the furniture.\n\ni would be firm and explain that there was no agreement for payment for your wedding services or their truck services...so, all these situations are exclusive from each other.\ntell them that you guys feel you are asking a reasonable price and if they don't want it for that price, then that's o.k. and you'll find someone else!\nbe kind and courteous about it, but don't feel that you are obligated to take a financial hit for family.\n\ni would prob make a family price a little lower than i would a stranger price, but they shouldn't haggle with family...that's poor manners.\nif they can't afford it, then suck it up, explain it's out of their price range and go find something else!  \n\nif they want to throw a fit, then they are the only ones looking selfish.  you guys look like you're trying to help them by selling some furniture.\n\njust be firm and now, you know how they view favors...for the future.\n\ntake care.
342643
Tell your husband how he feels. He is not here to take care of his mother, he is here to take care of his family. If he can't do that, then he doesn't need to be involved in a family until she is gone.
523914
I was in a similar situation where I lived with my wife's family for a while before we got married.  Her parents are amazing, but her brothers were the laziest bunch of a**es I'd ever laid eyes on.  I was the only person cleaning the house, mowing the lawn, shovelling the snow, washing the dishes, etc, etc.  When in their house, I always felt that being the outsider, it was an obligation of mine to help out whenever possible.  \n\nIt's tough to say in your situation as you don't mention where the problems are coming from.  My wife was always worried that I would leave her because of her family, but I told her that I was with her because of her, and that her family would not change my mind, no matter how frustrated / angry they made me.  We moved out of the house shortly after the wedding and I was much happier for it.\n\nMaybe your bf feels that he has no privacy, is trapped in a situation where everything he does gets scrutinized, and can't really relax or be himself.  When I go home, I want to sit back and do anything I want, but being in someone else's house just doesn't give me the flexibility to do that.\n\nYou need to talk to him and see what he is thinking.  If you don't know why he's upset/unhappy, you need to find out.  Maybe moving out is the only way to change things for him.  It did me and my wife wonders.
457437
tell them no. that's what he wants you to do serve him. find an agency that offers 24 hour care or you can also contact hospice they are trained to help the family with respite and other situations were it is impossible for the family to care for the terminally ill.and he can afford it if they are well to do. i know you are a good person just by reading your story, but he hates you, not dislike or slightly annoyed, just mean. explain to your husband that after all the years you just wouldn't be comfortable taking care of such a mean spirit. i know him and his family will come up with another idea. and the elderly and sick need more attention and care.good luck and forgive him and pray for him.
100102
You need to sit your husband down and explain to him exactly how you feel.  Then you need to avoid your in-laws to salvage your mental health.  Allow your husband to visit them whenever he wants, but you stay home or go to a movie.  Seriously, my mother-in-law hated me and she broke up my marriage in the end.  It sounds like you need a vacation....
465155
Mom in Law is experiencing a new life and as everyone else goes thru it, it'll come as being routine in time as well.  Things will settle down and she'll see the light again.  Give her a chance to live a little..... life's too short.  You sound a bit selfish, sorry to say. Most people WANT their inlaws out of their business. What's wrong with the brother fixing up her house? Nothing. Not to be critical but you remember how it is when you feel so alive when you first start dating someone? Well?  It's your mom in law!  She is feeling alive and beautiful.  She loves your children I'm sure and in a couple of months when the newness wears off she'll be back. :))))  Take care!
376935
Check with an attorney to see if you can get her declared incompetent and you should seek power of attorney to make financial decisions on her behalf.  It sounds like your brother has started this process already.  So discuss with attorney the possibility of courts deciding which of you have her best interests at heart.  \n\nI'm really sorry about what you are going through, when money gets in the middle of family affairs sometimes it gets complicated.  \n\nBest of luck to you and your mother!
205282
What you wrote sounds like my story. I've got the same problem with my mother in law. My husband really appreciates that I act like I'm stupid. \nI refuse to drop down to her level and when she is really mean to me I just smile and nod. Sometimes I think she tries her hardest to piss me off, but I won't give her that joy.\nFor your husband it's probably best to ignore the situation and play along like you all get along. It's not worth splitting up families over. You may regret it if your husband decides to choose for you and stops speaking to his mom.\nBe happy she doesn't live IN your house. \n\nStay the respectable party and don't let your feelings show! I know this is tough but it's the most peaceful way. Good luck, don't let her drive you mad, you've got the upper hand!