It just seems that when I am really into someone, they want nothing to do with me, yet when all I want from someone is friendship, they fall in love with me? Why does it always have to be one-sided?
132459
this is a simple answer and it looks like you answered it yourself. treat the people you are interested in like a friend. sometimes, people can tell that you are interested and maybe even overly interested so they distance themselves. guys kinda want a little chase. if it's too easy, anyone can get you. if you're just out of reach, there's a little mystery and something a little intrigueing. good luck.
266675
Good question. Love and friends comes when you least expect it, or when you are most busiest, and can't have the time to have it. You can't create your life, it creates you with circumstances you find yourself in. Enjoy life, and the rest will fall into place.
526665
I've had it happen to me MANY MANY times. Oops. I mean, yep! Had it happen to me....but there can't be any sexual attraction on YOUR behalf at least and no jealousy! Make sure the attraction is GONE first! Then the only attraction should be the friendship.
605540
I think they can work for people wjho have been togetehr long ewnogh to develop a very deep love.  Not that new I lvoe you im still giddy over you kind.  Distance doesn't always make the heart grow fonder.\n\nif this really bothers you friends or not, and she doesn't respect it, than its time to move on.  i had TONS of male friends before getting serious with my now fiance, and I stopped hanging with them at his request cause I valued our realtionship more than those friendships.  \n\nI always tell girls you should only give up male friends for a man you're going to marry...temporary BF's won't last as long as your friendships have.\n\nim not saying these guys aren't truly friends, but if you ask my man, and you knwo as a man, men are only frineds with women that aren't attratcive, or they know they can't have sexually.  (Doesn't mean they don't want to be, they just know they don't have an opportuniy.)  It's rare that ment truly value a friendship more than the possibility of a physical relationship
111383
Some of us can. I have a girlfriend I am completely happy with. The ONLY interest I have in any other women is as a friend. As for those who can't, they're probably wondering why you can't just accept that they don't want to just be friends. If you just want to be friends, and a guy wants to be more than friends, don't bother with him. You have different ideas about where your relationship should be headed. Or if you do choose to spend time with a guy like that, make it very clear that you're only interested in being friends, that you're not comfortable with him trying to be anything more, and if he makes any advances on you, don't tolerate it.\n\nAdded:\nIf you don't hear from them after you've made it clear that you only want to be friends, the only interest they had in you was as more than a friend. They weren't willing to settle for less, and they have as much right to make that decision as you do to decide that you just want to be friends. Simple as that. What you wanted wasn't enough for them, what they wanted was too much for you. Best to go your separate ways.
334633
Perhaps you attract people that are like me? I am childlike, when I like someone I either push them down or smack them..... That gets their loving attention, so take it as a compliment, you have friends, they just dont realize it
471556
Do they act infatuated with you when sex is an option or something that might happen and act annoyed by you when they are just interacting without the possibly of sex?  Or maybe they are just really screwed up and don't know what they want, some people will act annoyed because the challenge is gone and the act infatuated when they want something from you.  Anyway it goes tread carefully with this person, any relationship will follow the initial guidelines the person sets down,
642635
Eveyone has social issues.. just some people have some that are a little more prominent. I have seen all kinds of people (with ADD, anti-social personalities, Down's syndrom, ex - convict, egotistical cheerleaders, the guy down the street) all fall in love. There is always someone out there  for you... it is just a matter of when you are supposed to meet them.
465735
Dear Downhelps:\n\nIt seems like you are feeling this way mainly because of a boyfriend who may be acting as if he is losing interest in you.  Is this correct?\n\nIn our human personalities we express many different things.  We are able to succeed sometimes, be smiley sometimes, win friends sometimes and so forth.  But we also can meet up with opposition, limitations and those who pull their friendship away from us.  The human personality goes thru many changes.  It is always shifting, changing, and altering.  It is never stable and on an even level.\n\nOur souls or spirit behind our human personality is the seat of higher thoughts, self-love and love of others.  It is unchangeable, never alters or shifts in it's position or outlook.  It is capable of withstanding the lack of love from outside of itself.  This means that inside of YOU is something CERTAIN about itself.  It loves, it thinks highly of itself (because it is God's Created Child) and it knows every brother in the universe has the same Self or soul within them, too !  If the human personality changes and thinks it no longer loves or it no longer likes another, the soul within that person still loves or likes the other.  Soul knows nothing but love and liking.  For it is like God in how it thinks.\n\nWhen the soul through the human turns itself over to love and suddenly finds itself lacking the loved one's interest, in it's wisdom it does not cling.  As the seat of wisdom and love, itself, it knows when to let go and release the other.  BUT, it knows that it can produce more love for itself simply because it desires it, and is open to having it and can produce more of it again.  The spirit within has self-esteem, because it is connected to God Who puts high value on it.  \n\nValue your ability to produce love over and over again in your lifetime.  Have the strength of wisdom to release those who need to be released and to know - their changing feelings are part of their personality.  We do not have to be hurt or harmed by those who go back and forth in their feelings.  Or those who we have cared about more than they cared for us.  Sometimes, our human minds like to punish us and tell us we weren't enough to hold onto love or friendship.  But it is telling us a lie.  And, we don't have to listen to it.\n\nYOU are an Eternal Being.  God made no losers.  He made us like Himself:  strong in love, willing to let go, when necessary, to honor the Free Will of his Children.  He is in a constant state of knowing that He produces love ceaselessly by Creating it.\n\nWe create it also!  We produce it over and over in our lifetimes too! There is someone else coming for you when you smile again and make more friends.  You brought this friend toward yourself, didn't you?  Well, why not bring another to yourself?  You have power.  You have ability to attract and bring to yourself what you desire and think about. Do not give up your power just because someone wants to move on. . ..  Cause another friendship, be part of another love.  We do learn lessons from our loves.  They are valuable if they do not knock you down!  Take the good out of those lessons and USE IT.  Take the rest of what is in those lessons and throw it away!\n\nYOU did not suddenly become unworthy, unlovable or unlikeable because someone else's personality did not show you consistent feelings.  You are still YOU.  You gave your boyfriend power over you.  Now take it back!  In time, you will stop missing him.  I promise you that.\n\nBest regards, Lana
368072
Welcome to what we call LIFE!  Im sorry to be so rough here but...Get Used to it!  Things arent always what they seem most of the time anyways.  On the rare ocassion two people are lucky enough to discover each other it comes with No Guarantee's!\nAnd as such....there are no guarantee's that someone else is going to like you as much...or the same way...you like them.\nIts a Crap shoot.....or its a numbers game....depending on who you are.  If you sit at home and dont go out and meet people very often....its a crap shoot.  If your someone who is always meeting new people, and out and about all the time....then its a numbers game, and its only a matter of time before you hook up with someone else who is equally (?) as interested in you... as you are in them.  Remember...there are No Guarantee's!  But one thing I have found, is the universe has a tendacy to unfold just the way it was meant to.
478632
You have the same problem that I had. That's not a bad thing, though. If you want to catch a specific guy's attention, just make the first move. I think they act that way because either they're afraid of loosing your friendship if you don't like them as boyfriends or you're not their girl I guess! Take a risk by flirting with the guy you like and see what happens. Maybe you'll be seeing yourself with a new boyfriend instead of another boy friend. Good luck!
64936
The thing to remember is anything is possible if your willing to not limit yourself. The true question is can you emotionally handle being just her friend after she has made it clear she is not interested in anything more? \n\nAlot of times people think they can handle it but staying friends with the person who you love when unable to express yourself in that way makes life more miserable because you never really allow yourself to get over them. When you are face to face with them often you are constantly reminded that you can't have the one thing you want. \n\nIt is also hard for most people to see that person dating, enjoying life, etc w/o it being with them. If you feel your stong enough to withstand it then I def. think it is possible. \n\nMaybe try it and if you feel in your heart that it is only causing you pain then end it, but you will never truly know unless you try it and see.... \n\nGood luck.
637460
Sometimes, someone has all the qualities that you look for in a person, and they may do everything right, but if you don't feel a spark it's really just a friendship more than a romance. There's nothing wrong with you, you just realize that you need more.
523523
dunno love. you obviously care a lot about him....\nleave him alone for a while, perhaps he'll decide that just being friends is good for him... there again maybe he'll decide you're a cow and he hates you. you cannot control what goes on inside his head or try to second guess/pre-empt it.\nthat's the trouble with men though aint it? they seem to think that just being friends means they've moved down in your estimations somehow, when in fact it just means you wanna know them forever, without all the messy stuff that gets in the way of that.\nmaybe he's low in confidence and looking for love.... thought he'd found it with you... perhaps if he gains some self esteem and meets someone else he'll appreciate how important and precious a good friendship can be.\nunfortunately, i don't think there's anything you can do to make him feel any better about it all though, he'll have to get there by himself.
23081
these things have a way of working out. trust me. Its possible to still be best friends with everyone and still be attracted to one of them. Your other friend is just going to have to accept that PEOPLE fall in love with each other especially if they r close. That means if she is your really your friend u r going to have to tell her what's happening she deserves it. maybe you're going to have to make some "rules" for all this to happen. just remember theres nothing wrong with love
473893
Well what you’re saying is true for both men and woman. However as a man sometimes it’s the feeling of rejection, they couldn’t be rejecting me, maybe they got it wrong. So men just keep on trying and woman often find this persistence as faithfulness. They typically will even have kids and marry. They end up like me and 50% of the population that married a friend even though she said “go” many times. Ouch this hurts to even write it down. I don’t know who I am helping more you or me. I say that this is a human element we must find some one that meets us were our soul is. \nYou both must be equally and mutually attracted not just physically but emotionally even more so emotionally than either physical or mental because they both change in time. However if you’re finding yourself becoming managed by the other person chances are you got some concerns in your relationship. If you’re with the other person because your friends but you don’t feel they are your equal that is a flag too. I think we ignore flags as men and our sexual focused blurs out our vision. However all the flags are there and it’s not that hard to see if he is the person for you.  \n\nShort answer the wrong head is giving the directions.
327326
Ok, the one thing - for me - was that he found what my interests and did whatever he could to find interest in them as well.  You have to have a connection - just like with your guy friends.  I know it sounds weird, but the person you wind up with should be your "best friend".  You should love everything about them, and see that they feel the same about you.  \n\nNow, my guy did what he could to make me happy - and I did the same in return - give and take!  Also, honesty and great communication helps as well!