I met her father while he had a girlfriend , they broke up, we were together, I found out I was pregnate while he went a back to her. He has supported her and continues to. Problems is that the old g/f had his baby 3 mo after me(so 2 kids r the same age), and her dad is the uncle of my sisters fiance. They will be married  soon and my sister's boyfriend will then be her uncle and cousin.(I know its bad) she is trying to figure this out but there is no easy way to decribe all of this nor is she old enough to understand the whole story. What do you tell her?
131645
keep telling her the whole story; she'll get it eventually, probably when she's older.
613118
josh...why are you asking?what if you didnt find out? you would still be stupid and ignorant to the fact shes  ahoe. have chldren...? give it a month or 2 and i bet she gets fat anyway. someone got her pregant left her on her ass and now she wnats you to act as daddy. fuck that. you must be a nice guy but dont let her take advantage!\nnext time you see that guy say thanks if it wasnt for catching them you could of married and had kids with a hore just to find out 20 years later when she then takes your house and car and wont let you see your kids.
409815
I think if your attitude is honorable and not smart alec like "hey dad, I got your girl pregnant...." that you'll be ok.  Good ol dad needs to know you really love his daughter and that you will take care of her and the baby.  It's all in your attitude, believe me.  As far as telling then in front of everyone, I don't know.  I think it would be great, but that's just me.  If her family does one of those go around the table to tell what you are thankful for you could break it then by saying something like you are so thankful for being a part of their daughter's life and that it will soon be 3 of you not just 2 of you.  Just love on everyone and be positive...it'll come back to you.  Good luck!
435410
Tell you ex's GF to take it on a hike.  She has no business wanting to know your child.  And for that matter, neither does your ex.  Be strong, and best wishes to you.
244224
Girlfriend you are a true Christian, but come on. You are going to have to confront her and let her know that she really needs to increase her circle of friends. It is commendable that you open your heart and home for your husband's ex, for the sake of your step daughter but you have to set some boundaries...because she is totally taking advantage of you. I would take her aside and  tell her Enough is Enough! You would rather her take the responsibility of dealing with the child as a parent. While you want to be there for the child you are in essence enabling this woman to pawn of the reality of her personal responsibility off to you. She obviously knows not to engage your husband so she gets in any way she can.  Think about it.
594945
Well, how well did her parents get along when they were together?\n\nYep, she's gotta add other people into the mix, and it's NEVER easy, but she's dealing with the same thing a billion people have dealt with before. Is she wimpy? No. She just hasn't found out yet, that she can handle anything life throws her way.\n\nShe's tough enough. She just has to dig deep enough to find herself. I talked a 6 yr.-old through a nasty divorce, in about 5 minutes. She knew what was coming, and how to prepare. A 12 can handle it easy. All she needs to know is that she can handle anything.\n\nYes (don't get me wrong), it's not fair to her, or either of her parents, that they made a questionable choice. But, when she goes up to either (both) of them, and asks, "If the only way to make me, was to get married to him/her,... would you take it back?" They're her parents. The answer is no. There is no one sane on this planet who would undo their child. They made a great decision to have her, and now they've got the good sense to get apart from each other, before they **** it up. \n\nI bet she's a good kid. Look out for her, and keep her that way.
527872
I was actually in this situation. I told my sister that I saw her husband kissing a girl in his work place. She called me a liar and didn't speak to me for a year. She called me to come and get her and her son. She was pregnant and he had run off to California with the same girl I saw him with. So if this person were to tell his sister, he needs to be prepared to take some punishment.
154553
You're obviously not comfortable telling them that matter although you know that there's nothing wrong with somebody having kids.  You don't want to be the receiving end of their gossip so don't tell them, after all, it's your life and you do what you want to do without exposing yourself to negative stories of certain people.  If you explain this to your girlfriend quite nicely, she will understand that you're not having an issue with her and I think she will understand you.  Good luck.
237421
First of all my dear friend, you are too young for this man. I hope to God you have not had sex with this man for this is truly a case of statutory rape. Second, you have way too much life to live to be dragged into the middle of this drama...and believe me, the drama has only just begun. You will never have any peace with this man and his ex (especially since you have indicated that he already talked about going back, then you say, he wants nothing to do with her only for the baby -doesn't sound like a firm foundation to me) You need to run, run, run as far away from this situation as you can - you don't want to be the next one with child.
645967
Sounds like something's definitely not right there and I doubt it has anything to do with you.\n\nInitially I was going to chalk it up to perhaps your g/f's mom was paranoid that perhaps your mom knew about her cheating.  But if your g/f also got mad, well that can't be right.  She wouldn't be mad at YOU if her mom were cheating so...\n\nThe only thing I can think of is there is something really wrong with your g/f's mother and no one's told you what it is yet.  Could be psychological, could be medical, who knows?  But my advice is that if your g/f gets mad at you without explaining the reason behind why she and her mom are so angry at you and your mom over a pleasant invitation, it's time to rethink if you really want to be in this relationship.  \n\nAnd remember it WAS none of your business when they didn't involve you in whatever was going on, but now that it's directed at you and your family is involved, it IS your business.  On the same side of the coin, not being able to communicate with your g/f about this is no way to have a relationship for either of you.\n\nThere is no reason you should be treated this way and from what I've seen here, you haven't done anything to deserve it.  So ask your g/f what's really going on with her mom.  What's behind the way they freaked out over a simple invitation?  Then pay attention to the answer you get.  Is it vague?  Are they somehow blaming you?  Can you see that you're only being told part of the story?  The way the answer is given has as much to do with what's going on as the answer itself so pay attention and...\n\nGood luck!
632671
Hmm, technically if his name is not recorded anywhere on anything legal, you could claim you don't know who her father is.\n\nThe court would publish a notice of the intent of adoption in the local papers for a few weeks, and if the father doesn't appear to object, then all goes through without a problem.\n\nIf you had acknowledged anywhere that he was her father, you would still have to notify him and get his approval, but I would just play dumb and say you don't know who her father is.\n\nUnfortunately even if the father doesn't visit the child, pay child support, etc. he still has rights in the eyes of the law.  Stupidest thing I have ever heard of, but oh well...
223147
Hi, My X use to do the same exact things! I know exactly what it feels like, unfortunately the last few lies I found out were from my children. He was hangin around with a white trash piece of shit that was his sisters friend. He swore up and down they were just friends, come to find out he had been seeing her off and on for about 12 years! I was married to this asshole for 17 of them! Please please... Listen to your heart, especially with his track record.. make sure for yourself and I hope its not true, but that there isn't another woman! I don't know how I didn't find out sooner. I guess the kids were younger..not sure.. But the things you were saying is just how it was with us.. and he didn't even care when we didn't talk I think he actually enjoyed it because there was less to cover up if I wasn't asking him questions! But please keep your eyes and ears open, and I hope you find nothing but just in case hun.. take it from someone who has been there. Take care good luck and if anything changes please keep me informed or if u need another woman to talk to email or im me anytime! Good luck & be strong! Kim
352755
you dont have to hide, you tell her father about it honestly, \nyou can hide it temporarily but for how long? it is more hurting if he finds it out later, he will feel betrayed that after trusting you, you managed to hide it, so be brave enough to tell him about it right now, if you have a good relationship with her father, im sure he will understand you
576005
It sounds like she "knows" what he is up too but would rather pretend otherwise.  She may be wanting to have another child to "fix" things which wont work.  Or maybe just because she is maternal.  Either way - I would suggest you just sit her down and talk to her and let her know that you are there for her but that you are concerned for her because of all the stress she is under already and that she may want to consider how much more stress she would have in her life with 4 children should he decide to leave her for one of the "other women".\n\nKathy
349858
You must let them both go. A friend had this happen to her also and they got together got married had two kids and now they are in divorce court. She never got over the fact that her g/f did this to her, but now she sees that she mulled way too long over this. I would not be friends with her anymore as you may never be able to trust her.
161316
get a paternity test then you will know for sure. the situation seems like she just wants him back i would get the paterity test and if it came out that i wasnt the dad i would not take calls from her or talk to her ever again
409080
You should not blame yourself for this. The guy sounds like a jerk to me. I have not really had the best relationships with guys either, so I understand how you are feeling. My situations were not exactly like yours, but I still get how you are feeling. The only thing I can give you for advise is that if he is not "man" enough to keep a relationship with your daughter, then it will be him that loses out on a great little girl. As for dealing with her... I can only say I would try to have as little communication with HER as possible. If your daughter goes to visit him, make sure that you are talking with him to make the arrangements. If you feel that you two "are not suppose to be together" I think that you should make that crystal clear to him, there is nothing harder than letting him think that there is something between you when you in reality have no feelings for him. It will only make things more difficult for you in the long run. Another little tip is to keep someone in your life that you feel like you can always turn to for advise either a close friend or family member (this always helps me and plus you get a second opinion for free). I hope that this little bit helped :-)