This guy is already married in their culture although they don't have any papers yet. I am engaged with my first and long term bf, problem is, we both fell in love with each other despite being engaged.... waht shall i do to be fair with the four of us? My long term bf for 6 years is a good man.... but, i feel closer with this man I just met. With him, i feel more secure and happy... but we are both engaged, he told  me that he'll break his engagement with his long term gf also but i know that it would be very difficult. In the eyes of their folks, they are already married...
127267
You need to really ask yourself how much you like your fiance.  You need to spend more time with your fiance and really try to make things work with him.  I would stop dating this other guy immediately, and if he does not understand, then you do not need him anyways.\n\nYou also need to keep in the back of your mind, how easily his attention turned to another women.  It sounds like he is not American.  I would really study up on his nationality.  Many other countries let men have more than 1 wife.  You also need to be careful because he may just be trying to get citizenship.  And he gets citizenship if you marry him or have a child with him.\n\nAnd yes you do need to consider your fiance's feelings and his wifes feelings. And remember in his eyes he is married to this other women.  And in many other countries divorced women are not allowed to marry another man.  So even if you were to marry him, in his eyes he can still have his other wife.  And even if he divorces her, she will still be single and free for him whenever he wants her.\n\nIt is natural to get curious about another person when we have been in a committed relationship for a long time.  But there must be some good reasons why the relationship has lasted as long as it has.\n\nSome other stuff you need to ask yourself,which is kind of already answered is; why you are suddenly drifting away from the person you have been enagaged with.  Have either of you neglected each other in any way?  What is causing this diffculty in your relationship?  What do you like about your fiance?  What do you like about this new guy?  Can you really imagine not having your fiance in your life, after being in-love with him for this long?  Can your fiance fill the void this new guy is filling?  Is their really a void in your relationship with your fiance?
324183
i'm now engaged to the most wonderful guy in the world after starting as online friends who eventually fell for each other. he came to visit me after his stint in iraq and after staying with me for about 3 weeks, he proposed. love happens. in the weirdest of circumstances. as long as you're careful, i still think hooking up with someone online is a lot better than meeting someone at a bar. the distance took it's toll and we separated several times. But prayers do work. If you pray enough and both of you are as committed to the relationship, Miracles DO happen. Good luck to you!
48101
I feel you should know the person very well, if you two have been living together for a while. But in the same token you should ask how well does your know you? It must be a reason why this question is asked, for there might be some unresolved issues that may be at hand.  Just something to think about.......Feel me!
347125
You should feel special and irreplaceable, but it will take some time, are you sure you want to stay with him, ask your self is me and my b/f headed down that marriage path? if the answer is no, than why are you with him? your wasting your time, if the answer is yes, get some counseling together, and work things out, fight for your relationship (not the girls he was txt'ing) but work hard, and it will blossom, it will take some time, are you willing to put in that time?
249856
I am actually one of those girls that has been engaged for years (2 to be exact). We got engaged before I finished my undergrad degree and decide to wait until I finished my masters. Anyway, it seems to me that just as long as you and your boyfriend have similar life goals, marriage may not need to be rushed into. Maybe you should wait until after you are done with school. Then you will have more money and time to plan your wedding. At the risk of scaring him away, I think that you should at least sit down and have a serious conversation about where you both see each other in the next 5 years. Having a frank conversation about your goals will help you to determine whether he is genuine when he says that you are the one, or if this is simply a ploy he uses to avoid confrontation or a possible break up. Remember that a marriage is life long commitment. It isn't something you should try to squeeze between school semesters out of convenience.
182942
in my culture its natural to married with some  one withut being his gf or her bf ... well its better if the people know each other before getting marriage...but if its in their cultur like what is in my country then we have some steps....first they both have to see each other maybe they dont like their face (then how could they see each other every hr),then they can have their relation to know each other it depends on their family and both o f them ,)they can arrange to dont get married till the time they find each other caracter....then if they think all thing is close to be ok then married...but some people just wanna married....they think they will love each other later ,or will ecerything get ok afetr a while...then there is nothing in our hands...but arrange marriage is some kind of knowing people if we let them know each other better before the dealing....
161453
If I was dating someone for 7 years and they haven't popped the question yet,.I would start to think if I am waisting my time or not.  No offense but If this man doesn't want to get married and you do,..then maybe he's not the right one for you.  You need to just be strong and try to tell him that you want a life long partner, not a life long boyfriend.  You only live once so take the time you have and make the most of it!!  good luck
266512
maybe you guys do need a bit more time to get to know each other. But even before getting married or engaged. Couples do not really know their real spouse. It's just a matter of time and getting to know each other even more. You learn new things along the way especially when a couple gets married. A relationship will never be perfect and there will always be that "it" factor keeping you from that relationship. Don't let that stop you guys from moving on to the next step. Maybe he is not ready for this relationship to move further. You need to communicate more with this guy.
447634
Seems a bit scary that he's already at that point and you're just getting to know one another. Even if he does ask you, be prepared to say that you don't know him well enough yet.\n\nokay -- go ahead. Get married when you hardly know the guy. I'll give it 2 years max.
364911
Why is just the weekends you see him?  He could be married. If you know he isn't and it's just a question of schedules or locations then you should talk about moving in or changing something that will fit your needs.  You don't need to move in together as its only been a year but maybe moving closer together or spending a few nights over at each other's place would be in order I would think. \n\nAs you guys aren't exclusive yet go see the other guy there's nothing wrong with seeing if you are making the right decision.  But I'd also but the boyfriend on notice that you aren't happy with the way things are and that you seeing other people isn't out of the question.  As I'm sure it's in his realm of probabilities as well.  I don't know his line of work or why you only see him on the weekends so I can only speculate.\n\nHowever one thing I'm sure of.  If he knows of the situation and hasn't done anything about he doesn't plan on doing anything about it.
99913
You have a right to be confused- and so does he. First off- how long has he been separated? If it hasn't been long, you may want to back off a bit, just in case things don't work according to plan. Think about it: they did get married for a reason- who's to say they won't reconcile?\nSecondly, since you can't really control who you fall in love with, if he represents this much of a threat to your security, you probably ought not stay involved with him.\nBut, I do hope it works out for you- everything for a reason!
169360
Hun you've only been with him for 6 months. It's a good thing that he doesn't want to rush things. It took me and my fiance a year and a half before we said the magic words "I LOVE YOU". Now we've been together for almost five years and are about to have two kids. Stick it out. It was worth it for me. Good luck and if you need someone to talk to, my email is flower_child69420@yahoo.com
43161
This one is easy for me.  Simply make your opinion made.  One thing I am wondering is how long they have been in the relationship.  They might be going through the "honeymoon" stage.  It usually dies down in time.  Have patience.
249313
yes i would.  but think of this.. my best friend and i have been bf since the early 80's when we were in elementary adn we told each other back then we would be each others bridesmaids... but here is what happened. they are still  your bf but sometimes they get new people in their life, but still have you as a bf but felt like they wanted someone else in their wedding party.. so, when my bf got married 3 years ago, she used someone she went to college with ad then i just got married and i used my lil cousin.. ;P  so dont be offended, just be happy that she chose you.. :D  either way you want to wish her a very happy marriage to her and her fiance. :)
277482
I think it is time to Chirp or get off the branch.  My wife and I had been dating for a while, I really loved her but did not ask her to get married.  She finally gave me a date by which to chirp or to get off the branch.  I chirped and it has been the best thing I ever did.  We have been married for many years and are more in love today then ever.  I would openly discuss your concerns with him and then let him know that you need commitment by say June 30.  If he doesn't make the commitment, move on to someone that truly loves you and someone that will make that commitment.  Too often, we stick with someone that we know is not right for us and then the years go by.  After it is too late, we realize that life is passing us by and we are in a relationship that is going nowhere.  I think people need to list the things that they want in a relationship/mate and then if after a few months they do stack up, they need to move on.  People really don't change much with time--if it doesnt feel right at first it probably wont get any better with time.   Good Luck!
595021
Hey tleigh...well after what i just read, it seems to me that the 2 of you are happy with the way things are now.  If this is the case then why ruin a good thing.  I believe the only time 2 people should get married is if they are both really committed to the whole marriage thing.  But, if you still have to stop and ask yourself if this is a good thing then most likely its not gonna be. But, like I said earlier,  you 2 seem to be doing just fine the way things are.  You know how the old phrase goes..."Don't fix it , if it ain't broke"  As of right now, it doesnt seem as if anything is broke in this relationship....Good luck with everything, tleigh...
656710
almost 3 years ago i met a wonderful man.  He and i met online by accident and started chatting.  after almost a year of that, we finally met and it was so wonderful!  We were in love for the next year and half.  we are still good friends and visit each other as often as possible (long distance relationship) I love him with all my heart and he loves me too, just the distance plays a huge sad role in our lives.  No real chance of us being together as a couple on an everyday basis.  he cant leave his hometown in canada due to his job and other things and i cant leave mine because i have small children and my job here. so other than that detail, we would still be together as a couple.