ARE WE SO FAR FROM THE BASICS THAT TO BE IN LOVE WITH YOUR SPOUSE IS SO PROFOUND?
125174
most ppl end in divorce for one reason or another and think that after 13 yrs it isnt possible..\n\nme and hubby been together since 98 and will be married 3 yrs in august..both in our 40's..my 1st marriage and his 2nd..his 1st wife died about 22 yrs ago...\n\ni think alot of ppl are jealous of your relationship..i say the hell with them...you married the right one and also after 13 yrs know that marriage is not a game..it can take alot of work but it is possible\n\ni find myself loving my hubby more and more and its the small things that add up that make the difference and it is not about money either..we both work and have seperate bank accounts so this knocks out fighting over money..my son is grown and gone and his son and daughter are grown and gone...i pay certain things around here and he pays certain things..the rest is split up and some things are if you see it is needed you buy it..no problems there...with the common denominators not present that doesnt leave us much to argue about...lol...kids and money....when we do argue it is usually about that time of the month for me and also i am in perimenopause so when my hormones go haywire  he knows it..9 times out of 10 he will go to his garage and stay until he knows i have calmed down.\nwe talk everything out  even if it take a few days but i would not trade him in for anything\n\neven if we are fighting we still tell each other i love you before going to bed, leaving for work or wherever or just say it upon entering the room..he still holds doors open for me, lets me order 1st in restaurant and so on...he is a gentleman out in public and at home..even holds the door open at home if we are going into the house at same time..we met through newspaper personal ads and i feel very lucky to have him in my life..before getting married i told him straight up marriage is a one time deal for me..his only escape would be death...lol...i asked him if he wanted to have a pre-nup and he said no..that just told me that he trusted andloves me and he will be here till we part this life\n\nso if ppl find it hard to believe you and your hubby are still in love and happy just assume they are jealous of what you have and what they dont have..i know it can happen\nand wish you well for another 50-60 yrs or however long you 2 live to be
253358
My friends and I were just talking about this last night...We have came to the conclusion that Love is a very strong word.  So many people today believe that they are in love, but love is to give unconditionally... love is putting someone elses needs before your own.  I have thought I was in love 2 times, I am now divorced with three kids and I can honestly say I have never loved anyone the way I love my children... If you can honestly say to your self that I would die for them  I mean being truthful to yourself and saying I would die for you... that's love... and I have never felt that way before.... and you don't have to be in love to be with someone...if you enjoy the company why say it's over... just enjoy your life  you only have one.
175346
is marriage about love? hello, guess what. marriage is not about love. its about commitment. love's just part of it. why dont you know that? cause you havent stayed married long enough to realize it.
227484
I was married for 20 years...got to the whole "'til death do you part" portion of the deal.  He was my absolute best friend, husband, lover...soulmate.  I do believe that in long term relationships there is no gray area, you either grow together, or you grow apart.  I have become who I am because of the life we shared and by having to survive his death...I am stronger, more independent, and hopefully one hell of a mother because of it all.
284032
My personal philosophy has always been to jump in the water whole body, that way you get used to the cold faster.  I met my now husband and new I loved him before we ever dated.  We were married less than 6 weeks into our relationship and are still just as in love as we were then, 2 years into it.  I think sometimes people take too long to try to get to know each other and then if they do get married they have too much baggage from single life.  I say just jump in, if you heart gets broken, don't worry there is a towel just over there to dry yourself and your eyes and the towel boys kinda cute too, huh.  Best wishes
518668
Wow, kudos for the spouse for having a wonderful understanding of "For better or for Worse".  This person is a gem for staying with their injured spouse and not being selfish and cheating or doing other things to emotionally hurt the already physically injured spouse.  You can handle anything if you are able to be a compassionate, understanding, giving and totally unselfish person.  Unfortunatley, there aren't alot of people like that in this society.
366571
Ignore the bashers of love in here, most of them wouldn't know love even if it slapped them in the face. My wife and I are the same as you two are, we think the same, act the same, like most of the same things, had very similar dramatic life experiences thats shaped who we are, and we married each other because we saw the bond we clearly had. More importantly, we both knew who we were as individuals, and knew what we wanted. You can't know if your meant to be with someone unless you know yourself well enough to know what feels right for you and know what you want.
56115
I think it's a personal question that has to be addressed individually. It depends on what is important to you. If you have an absolute need to know what the other person is like every day, all the time, then perhaps you should. Or if you believe in love and what a commitment to marriage means, then take the faith that you love this person no matter what their personal habits. You can get to know a person's character without living with them, but again, it's up to you and them. As for strengthening a relationship, more studies show that it doesn't, but everybody's different. You also have to think about your potential kids and what kind of an example would you want to set for them? Years down the road what are you going to want to be able to say to them about moving in with their partners? That usually will reflect what is in your own heart and you should listen to that.
284588
Yes true love is real. I have been married for 8 years and i would do anything for her. I still feel the same way about her as I did 8 years ago and it still feels like our honeymoon.
208128
I dont think there is a real explination for making a marriage work forever, unless you are an angel or something... Just love, and stay true to the other person and yourself.
488255
it seems at this day and age kids throw that word around very loosely and they don't even know what love is. most confuse lust with love.... but they really have no clue.\n\nin their defense it took me a while to experience and learn what love is... im 31 now and still have alot to learn. it's a natural learning process..... i wish we could have known what older folks knew back when we were really young... :P
10916
You are in love w/ your spouse or your children.  That is a deep love that has more meaning than anything.  You love your family and your friends as family.  In love is a level that one achieves w/ his or her deepest heart, soul, and mind.  It is a love that is undying.
386572
I don't think it's what two people do - computers versus, say, crocheting potholders or whatever - that has an impact on a relationship as much as their common philosophy does.  If you both share a common view of the world, of morality, of what you believe, there's a chance that it can develop into love. \n\nAnd you can love someone for years without telling them.  It happens all the time.......
323447
Perhaps our deffinition of love is what is lacking. Is it just some warm fuzzy feeling that we have for another or is it more? Maybe true love is the compassion and understanding of wanting to heal someone that is broken and rejected by acts of that compassion and not by further rejection because a person doesn't meet our standards or capacity to maintain that love. Its easy to love that which is loveable. God loves us all with an active healing love and it is freely offered to anyone and everyone who will recieve it. It is that love that He gives each of us that allows us to go beyond ourselves and our own nature to be Jesus to those that need Him most. Love in Christ, ~J~ <><
74027
I have been an Army wife for 4 years and and been with my hubby for 6 years. Yes I Love him more, its more like a deeper love. It takes alot of understanding, but its worth every deployment, and every fight over the little things. He is the bravest, most loveing man I know. I thank God every day for bringing him into my life. GOD BLESS OUR TROOPS!!!!!!!!!!
437753
yes it is..you learn the longer your married the less it matters
485965
Thats a difficult question to answer. When I was married, I loved my children and I loved my wife. Differently but both passionately. They both meant the world to me. I made decisions for my kids that was best for them...and I did so with love. Everything in my life was done to teach them to be good people and give them the strength to succeed.Now the love I had for my wife was deep to the soul. I couldn't wait to get home each day to be with her... she was my best friend and totally had my heart...and had she not passed away, we'd still be together. But I still see her in my childrens eyes.