Is loyalty to your spouse worth it if the spouse wants you to cut ties with your family?
122689
No.  Your family will always be your family.  They will always be there for you and only want the best for you.
209234
one day when your around your family and she is leaving kiss her good bye on the mouth and go from there if she is who you want to be with dont let your familys opionion affect your decision if they love you they will support you and if they dont dont worry about it
604953
when you got married, your family became your spouse and any subsequent children.  Time to grow up and prove to yourself and everyone else that you are mature enough to go it alone.  \n\nsince, like you mentioned, the entire cost is going to be out of pocket, is it REALLY worth it?  let the grandparents come to you if they want to see thei rgrandkids so badly.
142536
if your family has a problem with him, you have to decide who your loyalty will go to. WHY does your family dislike him? Usually family disapproves of people they dont consider good enough for you..at least thats the case with my family.\nI would hesitate even if i loved someone. Giving up life as you know it, your family, everything for just one person is a huge step. I dont think i could do it without a committment of some sort.
54544
If you are asking this question, chances are much better than not that you aren't in love with him anymore. While I don't think divorce helps kids in the least bit, sometimes staying married "for the kids" does more harm than a divorce would.\n\nYou have to decide for yourself and for your family which is truly in everyone concerned's best interest. Don't count yourself out. If you want to make a go at it, then get counseling, talk, do what you have to.\n\nIf it's time to go.. then it's time to go. Don't be afraid to fight for what is fair... just really look at what is important and try to keep the proceedings as amicable as possible.\n\nGood luck, it won't be easy but I am sure you can do it.
505846
I'm never going to marry again.  It is better to stay with someone because you want to than to stay because divorce is expensive, or there are children, or you don't want to go through the whole ordeal or some other reason.
285439
"and for this purpose, a man must leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife." or something like that .....that's in the bible. you put your wife and children first as head of your household. doesn't mean that you ignore the rest of your family or don't give them same amount of respect, etc. you'll get the hang of it. just remember, you are leaving your parents behind and joining your life to another human being, she does have to take precedence. as far as what else changes after marriage, well , for some it's a big adjustment, but for others, it just works itself out. every relationship is so different. good luck!
250330
your family should respect whoever you judge to be fit to spend the rest of your life with. only you can know who will look after you and make you happy. take their opinions into consideration, but make your own decision. you will regret nothing more than if you do what your parents tell you and you are unhappy for the rest of your life. explain to them your choices and discuss it with them, don't block them out of your relationship completely. let them have the opportunity to give your partner a chance, they may change their minds!
488511
Chances are good that you succeed.i know that this is kinda challenging.But if she truely love you and care about you she would be determined to break the barrier of religion.its upto her to decide whether to hurt you or her family.she will make her choices.all what i suggest you is to stand by her always.just be there for her.I suggest you to respect and support her decision.if she wishes to not hurt her family by marrying you then please support her.or if she chooses to marry you and leave her family behind you are obliged to reconnect her with her family.Good luck to the two you.hope you succeed.
630463
If you truly feel that it is up to you, then make your decision based on your feelings, but remember to apply the entire story to your decision.  In other words ... I have known people who have gone back to cheating spouses, and have built good relationships from them, but both people had to change from their selfish ways to ways that promoted selflessness.  The more selfless they became, the better the relationship worked.\n\nI'm not sure that will work ... I would tell you to follow your heart, but the heart is prone to evil and to the world.  If it is not your fault that he cheated (which it never is), but you think you should take him back ... I would do it.  Despite what the world teaches, infidelity by way of affairs is not the worse thing that can happen to a faithful spouse.\n\nBe well, and Love with all of your heart.  You're greatest reward is not on earth.
662616
Agree with machelle. This is true love, from the wife -- unconditional, but probably also for the financial security, social acceptance, for the kids etc. All very good reasons to stick together. Plus probably a deep understanding of who he is. He won't leave her because that depth of guilt generates such a huge debt of gratitude. As long as he treats her with reasonable respect and dignity, she will stay, and as long as she is reasonably tolerant, he will stay.
246264
If you both want to reconcile then do it - it doesn't matter if anyone approves.  What matters here is you, your husband, and your marriage.  Your family will learn in time to forgive him.  You need to also tell them that you have forgiven him and you expect them to forgive also AND treat him with respect.
220512
yes you should, YOU broke your vows, YOU threw your marriage away like it was so much trash for a cheap piece of tail so why should you reap the rewards of something you obviously cared so little about? i mean the marriage didn't mean anything to you so why should the things associated mean anything to you. i'd say you made your bed(s) so lie in it!
222099
Robyn,\n\nI'm sorry for your situation and I'm sure all of this is taking a heavy toll on you, physically and mentally. It's often very difficult to find acceptable reason in these cases wherein we can find some justification for what we know we need to do. I've experienced that myself so I can appreciate that you continue to feel the love you do for him and grasp for hope in saving your marriage.\n\nHowever, as difficult as this may be to accept, my suggestion is that your first priority needs to be to yourself and the children. The fact that you feel the choice was his to make regarding the direct deposit of funds to your account, it also remains a fact that you're entitled to his continued contribution to the support of the family. Regardless of the fact that he's not sure he wants to return to the relationship, morally and legally he has obligations to uphold. \n\nSo, my opinion is, that you should insist on this support from him while agreeing to his need for space in order to evaluate his feelings about the marriage. This will accomplish a number of things actually. First, it will relieve some stress of the situation in that you will have financial help during this process. Secondly, by agreeing to his wishes to not return and have the space he needs right now you are going the distance in attempting to reconcile. Third, its just possible that having to bear the additional burdens of financial support while also now having to provide his own domicile, could just send the wake up message that will help him realize the consequences of his actions before its too late.\n\nI wish you the best of luck!
322249
I understand that this was important to you, but more important than money is the relationship between you and your sister-in-law.  \nJust take a deep breath and ignore it.  Seriously, that's not gonna be easy.\nBut peace in the family is worth 20 bucks, dont ya think?
554643
H'mmmm.  Well if you're dependent upon them for financial support, I'd think about it twice.  Maybe it is a good idea to wait until after you've completed your education.  Sounds calculating, I know. But it's also practical.\n\nI've never met your family, and of course you should have a better feeling for how they'll react.
27615
This may sound harsh, but you deserve fidelity and respect.\n\nThe most important thing you can do is ignore the emotional outbursts and firmly demand that he make a decision.  If he is commited to you and your family, he needs to be true and attend marrige therapy to resolve whatever is motivating him to stray.\n\nI know it is difficult to imagine be divorced with children, but it is far worse for your child to see her mother broken hearted and stressed.  You both deserve a husband and father who is truley commited to the family.  So, yes, I would tell him that he needs to commit or leave as you will not tolerate infidelity one more time.\n\nIt is possible to rebuild trust, but first you should demand to SEE....not HEAR his commitment.\n\nMy Best Always.......God Bless