If I do leave my man, how can I support three kids on a minumum wage job.  Its like a no win situation, I'll be working all hours, and paying it all out to a sitter, and never see my kids.  There arent' no other jobs round here?  What to do?
121936
YOU DON'T.BUT KEEP YOUR HEAD UP.
161066
Never quit your job until you have a new one lined up.  You should read a book called Rich Dad Poor Dad and get information on passive income.  That is income that eventually comes to you without any work on your part.  I am part of an MLM that provides me with passive income, email me at pinkcinnamon3@yahoo.com if you wanna sign up and try it out.  Its a nutritional supplement MLM that is absolutely amazing!
561311
my wife is going through that right now!\nshe gets a little feeling of confinement and not having her own money(as she says). like you she has worked ever since she was old enough a very responsible person and high wage earner, executive actually. now she is totally a stay at home mom and we are living paycheck to paycheck....financially it's hard but if you have daycare there is little advantage. you only have a few precious years to spend with your child before they are gone off to school and you will never get those times back. you are doing something that is WAY more important than yourself....you are helping mold a new person to go forward into the world, give yourself credit for that...it really is a worthy endeavor and you can always go back to work when the child is in school full time. \ntry doing something on-line from home while the baby sleeps if you can.\nBest Wishes, Have Fun:)))\nStu
300774
I am trying to be serious , but may not sound as if...\n\nStop having children, try to get along with some body, I cant believe what is happened to you, how come you never realize that every children you have is a BIIIIIIIIG responsibility, and now you want advice on how to get out of trouble the easy way.\n\nGet to work, and give time to your children, they need it as well as they need to eat.\n\nIs time for you to face what you irresponsibly do, with or with out knowing the consequences..\n\nYou do it, now you fix it, it is going to be hard, but if you make it right you will get your reward, if you think you are not getting any reward, is because you get it before, did I make it clear ????
180277
Look to your three children and take care of them first.  Second finish your degree and follow your career.\n\nSounds to me like you need to prioritize things here and a man in your life is not exactly what you need right now.\n\nYou've met three Mr. Wrongs time to stop and think about what the next Mr. will bring, another child?\n\nThird well where ever you've met the past three STOP going their!
441346
Sometimes people do get stuck.  But in the same breath some just get comortable.  Through personal experience I have found that the more you enable a man to be lazy, shiftless, and not do much, the less they will do.  If you accept him not helping out he will think that is ok with you.\n\nIt is hard with children, but they should not be made to suffer just because there is a grown child in the home who doesnt want to work and help out.  It is financially a bad idea for you to allow him to stay at home.\n\nMy fiance went to college and held a full time job just to make sure things at home were taken care of.  I also worked, even throughout my pregnancy.  With three kids, we needed all the money we could.  \n\nI left my ex first for all of the reasons you had listed above.  I no longer wanted to be around such a hateful person who didnt help.  I deserved better- so i left ang got better.\n\nmost people never realize how good they had it until it leaves!
575444
Well the only support group I know is Alanon its also for people who use drugs, booze, but it's also there to help with other problems you have with in your family. \nAs far as the child support issue.. How many kids did they have together?? If it's only one it's only 17% of the gross if it's more then one then the % goes up accordingly to the # of kids. And she can't keep taking him back to court once it's been in front of the judge. Unless he's gotten a large settlement, raise of more then 3% over and above of what he was making. Also get a hold of Legal Aid they can give you some advice on the matter or send you in the right direction. Well if she receives food stamps, public aid etc then she really has no right to ask for more money unless he gets a letter stating that he needs to increase the child support and only by the order of the court, judge etc can that be done. She's giving you a bunch of BS. I've been through this with my X-HUSBAND and I've been paying him Child Support so I know what you're feeling. Been there done it.  I hope this has helped?? If there is any thing else please feel free to contact me at    mr_djman2006@yahoo.com    I'm Dawne Good Luck. \nP.S. Check out this web site I think it also might help you out. Later
121466
I was once in that same situation.  First of all you must get your priorities in order (YOUR KIDS).  I wanted to date,so I got my kids on a good schedule.  I focused on them being asleep by 8:00 at night.  When I was successful, that is the time I accepted company.  Whoever you choose will probably be with you.  Don't put that on the kids because a good man will not care if you have kids. I found that if you start the kids' day early, let them outside for some real playtime, give them a good meal(come in from work and cook or start precooking meals), wash them up, then put them to bed (I let them think that they could watch cartoons in bed, it took 5-10 and they were sleep)....They will go to sleep. Be choosey!!! Because you don't want just anyone around your kids.  Working is good.  This means that you can take care of yourself. If the first man you choose is wrong....HOLLER "NEXT"....and keep going until you meet one that you can work with.  You'll be surprised.  (Meanwhile, try to network with another mother that's in the same situation or a smart teenage babysitter or a family member if you can.  Get out of the house sometimes....save a few dollars to pay if you can....BUT ALWAYS WORK ON THAT FIRST THING!!!
39926
Take this from my experience.  Move out and let yourself heal and your children too.  You will be lonley, but the time alone will allow you to think of what you really want and it take this time to spend with your children. You need to take care of YOU and your Kids most.
145684
Spend time with your family yeah you might need the money but i grew up without my dad and with only my mom taking care of me and it sucked cuz i bearly even saw her she was always at work or with her friends.Now she regrets it but still......... PLease take my word for it go with your kids.. They will be happy..... good luck hop you choose me.....
591122
Seek advice from professionals, please! Try getting some advice from your local police or indeed, an attorney. Could there be a woman's refuge near you?\nNO-ONE should have to be abused because of someone else's problems. Your husband has problems, sorry for your dilemma.\n(if you did manage to leave, he should be required BY LAW to pay towards the children)\n\nBest of luck
490686
I think it is a good idea.  My now husband always helped pay for sitters when we went out.  He knew I was a struggling single parent.  The alternative being you guys stay in for a night - which may or may not be an option depending on if you are ready to have him involved with your kids.
238544
Darlin', \nI have 3 boys, teens, as a single parent I have looked!  There is nowhere to go!  \nI am staying right here and working it through.. as soon as you pick up the family and move something else will happen in the economy and it will seem bleak again!  Stay where you are and Pray!
362244
well -- how about i tell you what i do and maybe you'll get some ideas.... i'm a nurse that had a baby and wanted to stay home with him instead of putting him in daycare. my husband didn't want the loss of my paycheck and gave me a lot of grief about going back to work but ALSO expected me to do all the "real" parenting, house cleaning, cooking, etc. i told him if i went back to work that he would have to split everything 50/50 and he agreed. i told him the very first day he didn't do one of "his" new split duties i would quit my job on the spot.... as in if it's his turn to change a diaper and he didn't do it -- i wouldn't go back to work the next day because i'm not going to be walked on like that...if i'm a homemaker, then i'm a homemaker...if i'm a nurse, then that's what i'm going to be and he can hire a housekeeper, cook and nanny. he agreed to split the job duties.....well, a couple of days before i was going to start a new job, i started him out on the split duties....needless to say....i'm now a very happy stay-at-home mom. i keep the house, cook dinner and take care of my son. as far as your concern about him wanting you to answer your phone right away...that's controlling behavior. remind him you're an adult and tell him where he can stick it next time he gets mad. then quit your job.   :)
139923
Run and never look back.I have three kids with this guy and he does nothing for my kids and he's in the same town, what do you think a guy would do living in another country? unless you are financially stable enough and your prepared to raise this baby by yourself then don't do it.
468416
This is most definatly a dilemma... I have been there...\n\nWell let me explain what I went through to reach a desicion..\n I was in college and wanted to be a Psychologist ( teens specifically).. I was working at a newspaper as a sales rep making good money and putting myslef through college,,\n\nMy husband and I have 2 kids and  at that time , they were just 6 and a few months.. The youngest had alot of issue with his ears but I soo wanted my degree..\n\n Finally, one day I had to come to a desicion...\n\nMy life or theirs..\n\nSacrifice or not..\n\nI sacrificed .....\n\nI chose this path because I can go back and still do what I want,,\n\nOf course I didn't get my house until recently.. Waited 20 years for that but to me , it was worth it...\nMy boys are not on drugs, have a good moral foundation, have no gang relations and actually loved me being home...\n\nI have started to work again and my 16 year old ( who was the few months old) hates me working.. We talk alot so he now feels that my working has intruded into his time...A new dilemma for me..:) \n\nI am all for mothers raising their children.. I am not against a mother working but I just haven't seen enough proof that shows that its as good as staying home...\n\nI know there would be alot of things that would have to be put on the backburner but what price are you willing to pay for the sound mind you can give your children?? \nI gave up alot hun... And yes , there were times when we lived pay-check to pay-check..but I am fine and my kids are AWESOME...\n\nMake sure that whatever you do , you discuss this with your fiance .. He has the right to be a part of your desicion...\nAlso, when you make your desicion, make absolutley sure thats what you want...If you have 1 shred of doubt, you will be resentful...\n\nThere are ways around any situation... If you have too many bills, lower your luxury spending...Example no eating out accept for special ocassions.. rent videos instead of going to a theater.\nBuy whole foods instead of fast quick meals ) they cost more and are not as nutritional)\nRent a house .. You do not necessarily have to live in an apartment..  We didn't....\nAnd if your bills are from credit cards etc.. i would 1st get them payed off and use only one and cut the rest up...\nIf you can, get rid of one car..  We had only 1 car for years .. live really close to schools..\nYou could also make extra money by being a sitter for other parents..You would be amazed at how much this service cost..\nMy brother and his wife live in Dallas and they pay over 900.00 a month just for day care....\nI used to babysit 4 other children along with my own.. Not only did I make money, I also exsposed my children to a social setting of friends...Great for both of us...\n\nI know it will be  a hard choice to make but you seem to be leaning one way already and I know you will make the best choice for your children.. \n\nI hope I could help...:)
297699
From reading your other questions about the three children and the dog. I can see tell that you must be overwhelmed to the point that a movie with another man might be tempting, but I don't think you need the jealous husband issue on your plate right now with all you've got going on.  When my first son was born a girlfriend told me this: \n"you will hate your husband for 3-4 years because they just don't get how much help you need. Stick it out it will pass". \nMy kids were 22 months apart and my husband was traveling with his job alot sometimes I thought it was easier without him.  I did hate him laying around  on the couch taking off to go fishing and stuff like that. Then having the nerve to wonder what was wrong with his sex life! but I stuck it out and it did pass. So Im passing it on to you. You pass it on if it works for you too.\nThese things also helped:\n1  Get as much rest as possible.\n2  Get out on your own for some exercise a couple of times a week alone if possible I started walking to loose the baby weight and to look for my sanity. If you have to take the kids not let the 5 year old ride a bike or scooter and you can push the babies in the stroller. \n3   Subscribe to a parenting magazing for tips on discipline at various stages of development hitting and yelling only make things worse in the long run (like the 5 year old hitting). \n4   And the really hard one is get out on a date with your husband even if it's only to your patio for a beer after the kids go to sleep.  With 3 kids you you need each other for support.\nI also found that I needed to get back to church when the kids were tiny that's a personal choice but we need all the strength and support we can get to do this mommy job.\nThis very demanding stage of parenting will pass and you'll be thinking ..wow I survived that! Bet you never dreamed you could do so much with so little sleep. But make these years count, keep your priorities in line, get all the love you can in those babies now and it will pay off later. \nPS I'd get rid of the dog untill the baby is in school. you don't need any more work.