I chose to party and live my youth, instead of being with her and our newborn child. I know I was in the wrong. Now she is marrying someone else.
136469
I feel for you...\nIf she is marrying someone else then there's nothin you can do except to let go of your guilt feelings and your love for her.  You don't have a choice but to move on or be miserable for the rest of your life.
461109
Yes, I DID stay unhappily married , for the kids' sake. I did it for a long time, but I could not stand the thought of not being there for them.Their Mother was not the most stable person, so it was necessary for me to be there for them until they got older, and could take care of themselves. I don't regret doing it for my kids, but I sometimes hate my best days are behind me now. If I had it to do over however, I would do it again....for them!
281703
I feel it was wrong for her not to tell you and now you feel trapped and lied to but the thing of the matter is ---which boils right down to you can you forgive her for lieing to you and if you are willing to continue to love her because if not then these problems will always exist in your relationship or marriage and I am a strong believer that you should not get married under false pretenses but if she has not shown any other signs of cheating or anything like that then you should give her the opportunity to prove herself to you and if you still want to wait to get married you dont have to rush into this you should want you marriage to be happy and joyous and loving=== dont get married because your families want you to get married because you love her yeah people make mistakes and I was also cheated on so I had to weigh my options of what would be best for me and  my children and I assume that you dont have any children so take your time and you talk to her about it a little more try to put yourself in her shoes try to understand what made her do it and why get a sense of understanding first and then you can make a rational decision on whether to leave or not \n\nhope things work out for you
609865
look here bud im 30 and ive been married b4.....but i screwed up and took for granted what i had. i am involved with someone new now and i have truely learned what not to do to jepordize this one.....who i am also planning on marrying in the future. just do what feels right....but when you do get married treat her right and make her feel loved everyday no matter what. hugs and kisses everyday no matter how pissed she makes you. if you can swallow some pride every now and then you should be ok.
341297
Naw...in fact you seem to have an superb grip on this. not vindictive, vengeful or spiteful but by God there isn't anything better than sitting back and gloating. Heh, heh...guess they found out that there was just a tiny little bit more than fu*cking like rabbits huh? \nI think you'll always feel this way and screw it...don't feel bad. You went through enough because of those two. You madam...have a special place in my heart for your mature and sensible handling of this whole situation. \nI tip my hat to you and now consider you one of the star attractions that shine amongst the sea of mopes, idiots, illiterates and trash that roam this domain. Were I not married myself I'd propose.
179665
If you're not ready for it then don't marry her. Once you two are married the focus point is the child. Wait till you feel you are ready for a child in your life because if you don't and make any mistakes then you could disrrupt not only the girls life but also the childs.
86898
look, you made an honest mistake, i mean from the sound of things, it came from the right place. grow a bit of a spine and admit to her that what you did was wrong, but explain to her how what she did made you feel; that maybe she should have gone about it in a different way. don't beat yourself that much over it, you are only human and will make some mistakes, especially with those you love.
92538
I have to agree with rkrell, i have been where you are, get her out of that situation. it is nothing but trouble  for you. Those are the doors that need to be closed in life. Especially fomr the past, if they remain open your future will never be as it could and should be. Especially since you two want to get married. You are only short changing yourrelationship by allowing her to getto knwo this guy...bad move
114986
got married when I was 18, had my first child at 20, got divorced at 21, got engaged at 22, had my second child at 23
166667
No!  You are NOT wrong to do this!  Congratulations on helping our young people learn responsibility and do things for themselves. \n\nIf you hadn't done this, you would be enabling her through the rest of her life.\n\nGood Job!
195768
There are still memories of that person u still have ...\n\nAll i can say is ur being self-centered ... ur first mistake was getting married to ur current hubby ... n then ur second mistake was having a kid ..... ur third mistake is thinkin u can get ur ex back ..... \n\nur gonna keep on makin mistakes unless u stop thinkng bout him ... Frankly wud u rather risk ur entire life or b with ur hubby who loves u n ur child n have a family ??\n\nif u want out then do it asap be4 u hurt more n more people
624774
If I had to do it over again I would NOT marry my husband again.  We are miserable but have 3 children to consider so we tolerate each other.
639853
I had that problem... I moved out... he ended up moving in, now she's knocked up and their having a shot gun wedding. If it bothers you that much find a new place, things will take their own course.
315829
Well......It seems like you are scared to try it again with her because she hurt you really bad and it is hard to forgive and forget. Your heart is still broken. It sounds like you don't trust her and you know a relationship WILL NOT work if you can't trust one another. You will always be wondering if she doesn't come home on time or not call you etc. what is she doing? Is she out with someone else? ......\nIf you want a relationship with her then you will have to forgive her and trust her again. ALSO....there's a little deal with a new baby. The baby is not yours.....so are you willing to deal with someone else child? The baby is so innocent and deserves to be loved and cared for no matter who this girl is with. The Baby should never feel like it has caused problems or anything like that. Are you willing to care for this child and love this child if you two are together as your own?\nBig Questions...I know you are the one asking for help, but I want you to think about the whole picture and not just about the girl, because now there one more added to the girl for life!
164298
I think that you should pass on this friend.  I know you love her and that you will miss her, but she is headed in a different direction than you.  You have yourself and your future hubby to think of - don't let guilt feelings make you invite her when you think she might bring that guy and ruin your wedding day.  It sounds to me like you are better off without her.  You can enjoy the memories of the friend she used to be.
69091
Not cleaning my ex-wife out and kicking her evil butt to the curb when she cheated on me.  Should've gutted her financially and ruined her career and taken full custody of my son
429006
I almost left my spouse and I am so thankful I didn't.  I deserved to lose everything/everybody in my life because of my stupidity but I believe God intervened for me.  I am not going to badmouth this person because I am just as much to blame for this mess as he but he definitely was not the person I thought he was.  It has been over for 2 years and I am still paying for this really bad decision.  I will say it before everyone else will, "what goes around comes around."  I deserve that one.