If your husband doesn't want to have sex with you, is that grounds for divorce.  Says he's tierd --I think he may have someone else.  Most people are intersted in me. You think he's banging someone else?????????????????????????  I am attractive--just no interst from him?!?!?!@?!?!?!?!?!?!?
128327
i say you need a friend to spend time with while your hubby is resting
143317
I'm afraid it seems he is. I know from experience because my wife of 16 years cheated on me recently. When she tried to break it off, the "other guy" decided he would stop her at any cost. He killed her and then himself. Each situation is different and my circumstances may have been more extreme than yours, but I know my wife loved me and I loved her. The depth of my sorrow seems to be a bottomess pit at times. I have two children, 15 & 9, left without a mother. Please share this with your husband and maybe he will see that honesty is always best. God forgives, and so should we, but there are consequences for our wayward behavior. I'm sorry if this scares you, but its always best to learn from other's mistakes. Pick up a copy of the bestseller "Divorce Busting" by Michele Weiner-Davis, its a great book and addresses what you are going through, even if he is not cheating. And if he is, remember that he (in his perception) may find fault with you. There may be some truth to that, and although it does not justify his (presumed) action, it is something that the two of you should discuss with a good Christian counselor. WORK IT OUT FOR THE KIDS- and for each other, its worth it. Sex is easy to find in our hedenistic culture, but good love and commitment is a rare quality. It takes effort.\nI hope the best for you, I really do. May God bless your family and protect you from any further damage. (Mark 10: 7-9)
259366
I know my husband isn't the cheating type, but at the same time why would you want to put a person in the position to have to make that choice? The temptation is to big if he has already said that he is attracted to her. So no I wouldn't have it!!
155399
I too have NO sex life due to a sick hubby right now and wish i was in your shoes on some days.  I guess - how much do you love hubby?  Enough to sacrifice your physical needs?  Could he ever recover and be the man you need?  If no to both, then leave hubby and get you some, girl!!!
247264
Not normal to me and I've been with my husband for almost 20 years. To each their own though. I have a friend that only has sex when she wants to have a baby and thinks that this is the only time they need to have any intimate contact. Funny world sometimes.
102609
Oh my! What's wrong with you? You're not suppose to do that. It's cheating.Maybe, you no longer love your husband. For us women love is essential to have sex because in that way we express our feelings specially to the husband. Those other guys you had sex with were not your husband and the deed was just because of lust. Come to think of it, What if your husband would do the same thing you're doing right now? Can you bear that? Fix your relationship with your husband and everything will be okay. One more thing, you didn't marry just for sex alone, right? There's more than sex in a relationship specially when you're already married. It's more about love, companionship and exploring yourself through your partner and the other way around.
337315
Hmmm why do people feel the need to add third parties to their marriages when they are having problems? Why not discuss the problem with your spouse and maybe try counseling? And marriage is about a lot more than just sex. If you're ready to just drop your pants and jump in the bed with another man maybe you don't need to be married. Get a divorce, be single and screw all ya want!!
514141
Its a couple ways to look at this situation - 1st - is your husband seeing or sleeping with someone else?  b/c if he's not, then u fucking or seeing someone else is gonna cause him to do one of 3 things:  he's gonna do it b/c u are or he's gonna come running back b/c he doesn't want to lose u or he's gonna kick every ass in sight b/c he' hurt and pissed and possibly feels disrespected.  - 2nd - Are u doing this b/c u just need some release or do u feel u can potentially make a new life with this person u want to date.  \n  There is no time limit on how long u should wait when you are separated but be aware that there could be some consequences, I'd say if you are sure that your marriage is over then go for it, even if its not,  the bottomline is he's not there with you, seeing to your needs but neither are you for him. \n     This is tricky, b/c you dating could be a good thing for your marriage or it could mean the end.  I think you, still love and respect your husband and marriage b/c if you didn't this wouldn't be a hard decision for you.  He's not there so he shouldn't get upset with you for dating but that doesn't mean that he won't.
665177
I'm confused.. When you say you were speaking to other men.. is that all then? I don't see anything wrong w/that. You say tho 'he stayed w/me' and I don't know why he wouldn't (if it was just conversation.) You say he had a secret relationship.. was it sexual? You two both sound kind of jealous/possessive.. I mean I am basing this on the assumption there was nothing sexual involved in any of this. (If there was, that's a different story..) Let me see here.. He treats you like crap.. I take it that's the real issue on hand here.. I think men are kind of like babies (I'm married to one.. lucky me..) or they want their cake/ to eat it too.. they want us to cook and clean (and spread 'em) but on the other hand they want their 'freedom' to screw around on us at the same time. (We can't do anything along the same line tho..) that sux, right? He stayed because he's been with you and while the other gal's 'something new/exciting & different' you're the one he's 'used to living with' I am thinking. (Hell, this is depressing me!!) Hey, I DO think you've got value/self worth, dont' get me wrong! I'm just kinda bitter about men is all.. It sounds like my marriage of l4 years (boring.. I'm bored..) My ole man's an asshole (cuts me down) and then developed (or so he claims) e.d. so he tries to do the oral thing (doing me 'one big goddamned favor') on me for sex (but it's wearing thin or gettin' old I mean.. fast..) I want to dump him too.. (I think you want to dump THIS guy..) do it!! that's my 'valuable' advice for ya
661999
The issue isn't if your husband is cool with it.  Are you?  I would guess not, or you wouldn't mask your emotions under a cloud of alcohol.  Or is the husband thing your excuse for being drunk?  I don't know, only you can.  Having great drunken sex is a plus in any relationship, but I don't think I would stay with someone just for the O factor, but hey, I don't have it that way! Personally, I stayed in a bad marriage way too long.  I would either find a way to make you happy in the current relationship or find a way to live without your husband.
505857
My oppinion is that you are a few of the smart loyal and honest men out there and I applaud you for your well train of thought and consideration. I do not feel anyone should look down on you just because you have considered things that for others it doesn't even cross their mind. Continue your great way of thought simply because so many of us fall under pressure especially when being tempted with sex, and drugs. I was also a virgin when I got married and so many friends told me I'd regret it but I've been married for a year and the thought of cheating on my husband because I never had anyone before him never crosses my mind. Not to mention the great respect I got and continue to get from my husband everytime we make love!  I'm sure you will find somone someday who is going to also appriciate your well thought in life! Good luck and God bless
94747
I agree...you have been brave...however...most men do not do well with ultimatums so you might lose him.  HOWEVER if it's really meant to be, he will come back after a while, once he realizes how much life sucks without you.  If he doesnt, sit back and be happy that you're not wasting anymore time on someone who's not willing to be with you the way you need and want.  \nI live by this:  \n\nIf you love something, set it free\nIf it comes back to you...it's yours\nIf not, it never was.\n\nI am currently in a very very similar situation...so I truly do understand what you feel like.  e-mail me if you wanna chat melissakct@yahoo.com\n\nAs for some of the mean rude answers you recieved...ignore them.  Men do not only cheat for no-strings attached sex, perhaps he simply made a mistake when he got married and now realizes it.  It's only natural for him to see what else is out there before getting a divorce as divorce is a painful expensive process.  Perhaps assisting him in his affair is not the most moral thing we could do...but I don't think you did anything wrong.  And just b/c he cheated on her...does not mean he will cheat on you.  It all depends on his state of mind when entering the affair.  If he truly stopped loving his wife (very very possible) and already emotionally left the marriage...chances are he will not cheat again.  Only you know the answer to that. \n\nHope to hear from you.
281333
THIS IS A VERY TOUCHY SITUATION. I DON'T KNOW ANY MEN THAT WOULD GET SO DRUNK THAT THEY WOULD ALLOW ANOTHER MAN TO RAPE THEM. YOU SHOULD HAVE A SERIOUS TALK WITH YOUR HUSBAND TO SEE IF HE MAY BE HAVING ANY HOMOSEXUAL FEELING THAT HE IS TRYING TO SUPPRESS. COULD ALSO BE THAT HE IS BISEXUAL. EITHER WAY  THE DESIRE TO BE WITH ANOTHER MAN IS GOING TO HAVE TO BE SOMETHING HE IS GOING TO HAVE TO FACE EVENTUALLY IF THIS IS THE CASE. THINK ALSO HAS HE GIVEN YOU ANY OTHER REASON TO THINK THAT HE MIGHT BE GAY. IF SO I WOULD CONSIDER LEAVING HIM. BETTER TO BE SAFE THEN TO END UP WITH AIDS. BUT BEFORE JUMPING TO ANY IDEAS TALK WITH HIM AND PRAY ABOUT IT.
164735
I think that you should initiate sex with your husband! Turn him on!...Then get on! And if that doesn't work than ask him straight out" Why don't you want to make love to me?"Good luck!
254928
The fact that your hubby doesn't want to have sex is a SYMPTOM of something else. You need to figure out the cause. It could be a PHYSICAL problem. There are herbal pills that you can look for at health shops which are safe and might help if he needs a physical/hormonal boost. Read up about Damiana and see if it might help. Then, it could be something like an EMOTIONAL problem. Something could have happened to him when he was a child. Often people who were abused are very sexual before they get married and then after they get married they don't want to have sex anymore. If this is the case, you need to be very supportive because they have feelings of guilt and low self-esteem. If it's not something that happened in his past, then it could have something to do with the INTIMACY between the two of you. Maybe he has an unmet NEED. STRESS also affects a man's libido!! Mabye his work is putting too much stress on him and he needs to do something about it. You need to find out the source of the problem. Counselling can help you.
318528
they need to step back and re evaluate the situation. I applaud her for not wanting to have sex before marriage and hope she sticks to that. but if he doesnt want to marry the he really isn't in love with her. He needs to respect her wishes to marry, that is the only way in which she can truly feel he loves her enough to respect her. If he is that dead set against marriage then he may not be the one for her. yes she also need to think about what he wants and is she is willing to put her hole belief system on the line. is she willing to give up her beliefs and trash everything she wants to be with him? He's not going to why should she
134710
why did you get married to her if you are getting a divorce four months later? that is just silly! i don't understand what the problem is or was. can you explain more? you should love your wife no matter what. and at least you have had sex more than i have and i have been married six months.we are still very happy and plan to keep it that way. you don't have to have sex to be happy. that is not all marriage is about.