He allows certain employee to get away from work that causes the extra work load for other employees to pick up their slack.  and tells these employees to pick up the pace or they are out the door. He's very handy with pen and paper on writting these people up until they are fired and gone. I can't afford to leave my job and jobs are hare to find, I'm stuck and don't know what to do, I cann't change in shifts that's out of the question because of child care situatuion at home, my husband works nights and I work days to save money and our budget is tight. what can I do ?
120470
You don't... Sorry, won't sugar coat it for ya.\nYou can't change him. So change your outlook (seriously)\nPay more attention to what YOU are getting from the job ( like a paycheck, insurance, trust that you can do the job) and less on the lopsided (and yes unfair) workload.\n\nYou'll be happier if you just learn to let it roll off your back, show up, do you thing, collect your pay and go home to your wife and children. Just don't go home with a flat forehead, from banging it against a brick wall.\n\nGood luck and as I always say... "Once you realize you can't control the wind, try adjusting your sail."
353080
I would go to your labor board and turn him in. I would also look for another job. What he is doing has every indication he is having financial problems and I would bet won't be in business much longer. Do this right away before they close down.
250365
I have had to go out of town for a few days leaving the kids with my husband.  He thought he could do it just fine.  When I came home he just hugged me and said "how in the hell do you do it??"  I just laughed at him.  he never took my job for granted again.  Now when he gets home he cooks and lets me sit and relax because he knows I am exhausted.\n\nSo to answer your question, I say go out of town for a few days and see what he says when you get home.  This is something that they cant understand till they are in your shoes.
242706
Wow, you're doing a wonderful job just by hanging in there. Your family is lucky to have you. \n\nBut yes, you will exhaust yourself trying to keep the family afloat alone (basically), and without anyone meeting your emotional needs.\n\nWhat your husband doing is very common for men. I know I can drift that way as well. It's hard to deal with the pressures of work, then come home and "depressurize" to meeting people's emotional needs. Chances are he is not skilled with relationships anyway, so it drains him to try.\n\nThis is not an excuse for his behavior. I'm simply saying it's understandable and common. Ultimately, he needs to change his priorities and realize that you are giving far beyond what is fair and that you can't do it forever -- you have needs as well. \n\nI think he thinks he does love you, but he's not "getting" that his actions aren't showing you any love at all.\n\nIs there any clear end in sight to his study/work schedule? Sometimes you can just let thing go, if he has one or two semesters left. If the end is far away or you can't see an end, then you need to fix things now.\n\nYou can't force him to talk, you can just give him opportunity. Ask him general questions about how his day went; don't push if he doesn't want to talk much; he'll see it as "nagging" (he'd be wrong, but that's how he'll probably perceive it). \n\nTell him the BASICS of your day, rather than tons of nitty-gritty details (those things will overwhelm him). If you can make conversation seem less overwhelming or intense for him, then maybe he will eventually open up.\n\nIs there anyone he is close to, whom you can confide in and who can talk to him? You don't want to manipulate, but he does need to hear that, although he is definitely doing good by working hard and studying hard, you and your son are dying inside and need his presence more than his work ethic. He needs to reprioritize things.\n\nYou also need to ask for 15 minutes of his time. Tell him, without pleading or begging or sounding angry, that you are proud of what he has done and how hard he works; and that you want to be as supportive as you can; but that even if he doesn't understand why, you feel completely alone and that your son misses him too. You can't live in such an emotionless vacuum. Something has to change. Your marriage is suffering.\n\nSet some practical time boundaries -- small at first if necessary, of what you need. Decide with him what things you need help with and how he can help.\n\nHe's going to have trouble shifting gears. I hope that he listens to you and senses your support for him, as well as how much you're hurting; and this will motivate him to change. He will not give you everything you need and deserve at first, but that's where he's at right now and needs time to change. \n\nHe might need advice from others who have been in his situation before. Some things will not be obvious to him.\n\nBless you for hanging in there and trying so hard to keep your family going.
274290
why should You have to try to get him a steady job, He IS an adult right! Give him a month to get his affairs in order, KICK HIM TO THE CURB!
547912
It is if my husband is your supervisor. He fired to employees for that this week. One just left to see girlfriend & one fell asleep in his truck for 4 hours. Both need a job, being responsible makes a good employee.
620525
This happens alot especially in smaller businesses where you have family members or people who have worked for the company for a long time. Plant a small tape recorder somewhere near the place where people have a tendency to gather and talk. Break room, smokers area, lunch room.You might be able to head off some of the roomers before they get to your Boss. Try to make them look foolish. You cannot play this for your Boss but it could come in handy if things got to a point of he said she said. These 2 people do not like you because the boss obviously likes your work and they feel threatened. Whether the threat is real or not. In private explain to your Boss the situation at hand and without pointing the finger at the 2 girls who have it in for you. Just tell him that you are not like that and he will have to form his own opinion about you. You like working here but you will seek another position elsewhere if he feels that theses accusations are true. Ask him if he has had this happen with other employees? Sometimes they don't see a pattern until you bring it up? Had the same problem with the New Head Chef where I work. She was out to get me fired because I was too meticulous in my work. She would tell people what she made and then blame me in front of the boss for telling people what she made(I am the Payrolll clerk/Bookkeeper) I stuck to my guns and stayed on top of her all the time. I finally saw a problem with things missing and people fighting with each other all the time. I went to my Boss and left him a note saying think about when your problems here all started? I left it at that. He started watching her more closely and found out she was stealing stuff from the freezer on a daily basis. He fired her and apologized to me and we have a very good trust relationship going now. It was not easy and I had to bite my tongue many many times. Be careful if you use the tape you may hear things you did not really want to hear. Stick to your guns and keep your cool. If they think they are starting to wear you down they will keep on doing it. If they think it isn't working they will give up.
341265
Can you afford to lose this job? Funny thing about some men in authority, they enjoy the effect they have on subordinates, especially pretty ones they know are attracted. If its real enough for him to risk inapropriate behaviour, he should make a move outside of work hours/envioronment, otherwise the only respect you'll earn is to keep your eyes on your work.
318490
Manager is taking advantage.\nThis is a violation of labor laws.\nI don't remember what the exact numbers are, but its like 10 or 15 minutes every few hours, and you must get a meal break (like min of 30 minutes) if you work more than 6 or 8 hours.\nManager is shooting himself in the foot anyway. He just has a shop full of tired, unmotivated people, instead of the busy productive employees he thinks he is creating.
559162
Re-evaluate your job and what you were hired to do.  Just do your work, do it well, stay out of office politics.  Stop chatting so much, because whatever your talking about, it's controversial and provoking others to snitch.  A competent boss may one day decide to rid the office of the both of you, just to serve as an example to others to "just do what you were hired to do and save the cattyness for your off duty hours".
204271
I use to own my own business and he is telling u the truth.  Alot of people think when u own your own business u can make your own hours and just come and go as u please.  Thats not neccessarily true!  You have to put ALOT of time into the business in order to make it run smoothly.  Thats one of the reasons I finally sold it- cuz it never ever gave me time to myself or my family.  Atleast he is reserving all of his weekends for you.  And atleast u know he is out working his butt off and not fooling around!  He could have worse habits!  Why dont u pop in every so often and take him to lunch?  Or stop in and pounce him in his office and give him a little afternoon delight!  If he cant get away then u go to him!!!!!  surprise him more often!  Good luck to u!
30211
What you are aware of is a product of women in the work place.  It is not fair and is not just and might not even be legal, but it does happen.  Not to promote any stereotype, but some women (and it is just a few, but no means most or even many) do sleep or blow their way to the top (or at least into a position to get their way).  Some only need to flirt.\nIt sounds like your boss is a bottom feeder.  If he is so easily manipulated then perhaps this is not the place for you to be.  His is not going to change and I doubt that your co-worker will either.  You must put up with it and just do your job or leave.  Those are your only choices right now.  If things become unbearable, before you leave (such as having to work seven day a week) look into the labor laws.  If the idiot in command is doing anything illegal, turn him in.  But first document what he did or is doing.\nThis job is only a tool for helping you get through school.  If it becomes more of a burden that it is worth, no matter how good it pays, then start looking around immediately.\nYou do not have to work at a place like that.  You do not have to work for an inconsiderate person (of any gender).  Your emotional well being is more important than accepting money from a person who does not appreciate you.  Even if you have to drop out of school for a semester to find a better job.\nThe best job is one that you can think “Wow, and these people are actually paying me to do this!”  The worse are those that make us say “Oh crap, I gotta go to work now.”  The choice is yours.  It is your life.  But take it from an old fart who was so happy that he learned when to say “Take this job and ….”
423308
You are in a family business and you're not family, at least not blood.  Sounds like Tim is the youngest, and as such has been given wide latitiude, while your husband John is the oldest, and has has a stricter upbringing, with emphasis on responsibility.\n\nAt this time your husband is under considerable stress, he knows that Tim is not pulling his weight, he knows that problems at work, with the job/ customer/ vendors, with his brother, with the family, are causing problems at home. He is seeking solice from the bottle, when he should be getting support, comfort and empathy from you. \n\nI would recommend that you stop bringing up "things with his parents", because while you don't think anything is going on, John is the one who is bearing the brunt of their response, and is forced to defend you against his parents.  That's tearing him apart, and could be the underlying cause of the domestic strife.\n\nAs far as the pay issue, I think that you are being taken advantage of.  If you are not "family" then you are an employee who has rights under The Fair Labor Standards Act. Among those rights are to be paid accurately for the time worked, and if non-exempt, to be paid time and one-half for all hours worked over 40. Discuss the problem with you husband, not "Helga" and let him take care of it.
577322
Fireing a person is never easy althought George Jettsons boss sure makes it look easy.  If he is hindering progress, not doing what he is supposed to be doing or what ever then you should.  Its part of your job perameters.  If you dont do it then other employee's will see you as soft and you boss might see you as incompetant.
5872
Not really unless he tells a boss something that's truthfull. then i can see how you could get fired. Other than that he can't get you fired for no reason, everyone has to have a reason to fire someone otherwise there's a big lawsuit waiting on them.
130520
He might have personal problems like some mental illness maybe? You should ask him what the problem is before you fire him.
20120
Maybe he is on a powertrip but most likely he is just thoughtless. I have found more often than not that people aren't generally intentionally malicious but many are so self-absorbed that they fail to think about other people. \n\nI used to work under a bunch of (stressed out) guys and I can totally relate! This guy was really rude to do that and I think next time you should only work on it for 5 minutes and tell him (or leave a memo) that you will finish it the next (bus.) day because you have a [insert something important here] to attend to. \n\nI wouldn't confront this person if they are your supervisor. You will probably be emotional and that is not a good thing to bring into the workplace.