My current husband had issues of me working, my family lives out of town and I wanted to make myself available.  I moved to them and thought I could go back to my ex-husband.  My problem is I still love my current husband and want to move back.  He is willing to take me back but I have to work.  I dread telling my ex-husband there is no future for us.
128868
and women wonder why men consider them dumb.\n\nmake a decision, tell him and do it.  it's too late to worry about hurting someone's feelings.
115737
Well ive never been threw it but ill be more then happy to give you my 2 cents with out calling you a slut, i think part of it is your husbands fault for not making sure you have what you need, now i know alot of people are going to scream for me saying that but its the truth, in a marriage part of our job is doing everything possible to make sure our partner is getting everything we need from them emotionally or sexually. Thats just the way it works for a healthy marriage, The only bit of advice i could give you not being actually in that situation is to eather pick on or the other, i can see you feeling even more torn when your feelings for this other guy are fostered even more and you cant act on it, not to mention the emotional and sexual frustrations that can easily bring. I can understand why you turned to this other man for support you wernt getting at home. But i can only see you hurting yourself in the long run if you dont cut ties with one of them. That is unless you totally dont love your husband anymore and your just in it for everything youve envested on a tangable level that you dont want to lose. But honestly do you think if you bumped this relationship up with this other guy you would be able to continue this double life, i hate to label it that way but thats the only thing i can think of to call it right off the top of my head, but i think you understand where im coming from. You need to set a game plan in your head on where you want to go in life if things with this other guy keep developing, what happens if this guy says ok ill chuck my marriage will you chuck yours? what if he talks about you guys meeting and making a full flaired affair? What if your husband finds out about whats going on how will you respond? How will your husband? Im not saying i know what you should do or what you need to do, but if i were you i would get a clear picture of what i wanted from your husband or from this other guy. Do you think there would be a possiblity you would be more happy in your marriage if your husband started to work with you on your problems with the marriage? Do you think there is any hope for you marriage now? Do you think your husband is doing the same thing you are on some sort of level? IF he was how do you feel about it? I think you need to ask yourself these kinds of questions and in deep deep detail figure out what you want to do, i dont think anyone in here can really answer those kinds of questions and give you any much more of a clear picture then you seriously thinking about this i wish you all of luck and i really hope you get something figured out on this *HUGS*
641310
Well, as a wife and mother of 5 children and married for 23 yrs...I can honestly say love is unconditional and is sometimes a rollercoaster...if you are not already married, you still have a choice...but do know this friend..."what once was, can be again"...sometimes you have to return to your first love..the things you did...what you said...how you treated each other...now, if those "things" you refer to are harrassing, violence, and such...a sit down talk in a "neutral" spot is the answer there. Be honest if this must be done...be specific..& don't leave it "open ended"...like "we'll see"...I need space for now...needs to be clean cut...best of everything!
265547
I live in Egypt while my husband lives in America. I moved here with my kids so they could have family. But unfortunately there is no job here for the hubby so he must remain in America to work till he can start a business. Then God willing he will move here and we will live happily ever after.
308644
You know i have been through this situation myself.  I'm not proud.  We just kind of drifted apart after the same amount of time as you, but were only separated for about 2 months.  I really liked the feeling of freedom and meeting other people.  I still think of a certain someone now and then, especially when my husband and i get into arguments about petty stuff.  I think "why did i even come back"?  Then i realize that he has put up with all my crap and it would be so hard to start all over and put effort into a new relationship.  I also think about my kids and in today's society kids need the guidance of both parents.  Anyway, i really do love my husband, it's just sometimes its fun to think of what could have been.  \nI'm not saying all marriages are to stay together for the sake of the children, it's just if you really love each other, you need to try and get passed the other man.\n\nTry to do things with your husband, take time for yourselves.  Go to the movies out to eat, or even spend time at the park with the kids(if it applies).  And just when you feel an argument coming on think and sometimes prayer comes in handy(if you are religious). \n\nGood luck. i wish you the best.
159570
my fiance' was married when i met him at work.his wife and him had been having issues with her cheating and she did not want kids and he did.he told me about 2 weeks after we met that he did not love his wife anymore.i never thought about getting involved with him until right before he seperated from his wife(a month and 1/2 after we met)he told me he loved me.i felt the same for him but i did not want to get in the middle of his marriage.he convinced me to be with him and i'm glad i did,he is the love of my life and says i am his
323592
Wow. Simliar to what I'm going through but except with cheating with the brother. I'm 20 and I noticed that since me and my ex bf had a age gap of nearly 12 years it was hard for us to work out our problems. He loves you and he doesn't want to lose you. Maybe your husband and his brother should talk this matter over. There might be rage but it's better then losing someone that you may never see again due to unforeseen future ahead of one. Before me and my ex ended our relationship I told him about how hurt I was that he treated me like "shit". He took the time to understand what he was doing to hurt me. You can try talking it over with him. If matters aren't resolve, I think it would be wise to end the relationship and move on. It's wrong for you to have to put up with his "shit". I'm truly sorry that you are going through this but we do learn from our mistakes. Good luck.
205198
when I was in college I was, I can't access IM right now due to my location, but I will tell you this. I sped up her divorce, which was good for him and her. I was her Rock, because her family didn't like what she was doing and basically shut her out. After the Divorce her family started to accept her again and at the point I became "to annoying to be with" and now she is living in AZ somewhere with her dream man from HighSchool. So in a sense I ended a bad relationship, Got really really heart broken (which I learned alot about myself) and now 2 other people are happier because of what I did
136280
Ehh, I am going to go out on a limb here, and say that you shouldn't AUTOMATICALLY leave him, unless he is still activly particpating in his marriage, in which case you should.  I have to say that I was married, but not (we were separated), and I started a relationship with an amazing woman, but I was up front about my status.  Give him a chance to explain himself, if you don't like what he has to say then you can slap him and leave.  Don't act to hasty, get the lay of the land before you make a decision.  Good luck my dear, I hope it turns out ok.
422287
How much do you trust your husband to make the right decisions for your family??????........\nSupport your husband in whatever way he needs you to at the moment......you cant worry about how your in-laws feel about you......when they are gone, you will still have your husband and he will appreciate you standing by him....regardless of what happens....\nI fought a similar battle w/in-laws once upon a time...I wish i had just supported my husband....I wish i had understood that I could make it about me and my feelings (which I did)...OR I could have let him do whatever  he needed to do for his parents for him to be ok....knowing that our familys best interest was never  out of him mind.......(I did not do this) OUr marraige suffered ....Now I look back and see It was not worth it.....I SHOULD have trusted him.......He was trustworthy....\nThey never did like me.....but now thery are gone and it doenst matter....But my ex and I are still trying to come to terms with the fallout from that time(as well as other issue).....\nPICK YOUR BATTLES CAREFULLY..........some are not worth the war they will lead up to....
642982
I am now divorced to my hubby of 3 1/2 years. (We were together 7 years total). He was cheating on me with my cousin. We have been divorced for over a year now, and at least once a day I think of him. A song on the radio will remind me of him, I will pass a chopper and want to call him to tell him about it (we were bikers), or even something funny will happen and I think, "OMG, my ex would get a kick out of this".\n\nSince the divorce I moved out on my own . I am single because I am still not healed from the hurt he and my cousin caused (they are getting married next month supposedly).  He was my first love, and my best friend. He understood me like no one else- I would not even have to say a word and he would know my thoughts- I miss that. It intriques me that he knew me so well and I have yet to find someone like that- He made me laugh, he was spontaneous and made life exciting. I was pretty anal about things and he took that tendency right out of me.\n\nIf I had the chance I would let him say he missed me- I would let him say he made the mistake (hear say thru friends he has said this to them) and then, I would have some closure and I would know he made the mistakes, not me-
584749
Been there.  Ultimatums are never good. Small towns are full of gossip. The transition is easier because of family and friends. Both of you list pros/cons of where you'd like to live. Ask him if he'd be willing to check out some places that would fit what you're both looking for.  He may feel that you are choosing to move home to get away from him. Try to compromise. I did and I don't regret not moving back home. I found things that I really liked about where I live and we have been here for 25 years. Really think about this before you do or say something that you can't take back. I hope I helped.
158413
How sad!  But the decision is yours.  EVERYONE deserves a second chance, it's the third chance you have to watch out for.  And perhaps you can take this opportunity, while you can't really see each other, to talk a lot about who you both really are and where you see yourselves going.  Then go, if you want - your life is your decision, and people make mistakes.  I cheated once, and learned my lesson - I understood why I did it, and asked for forgiveness.  I have never done it again.  I know your family is worried, but you have to be honest with yourself - can you forget it and continue to love your fiancee?  If you can, then you have the right to be happy, and to be comfortable and safe.  Screw the rest of 'em.
509594
if your skin crawls...even sometimes...you just answered my first question...you don't want to be married to this guy.  Possibly you have a fear of the unknown and what may or may not lay ahead for you.  Maybe you feel you deserve this and no better.  Maybe it's financial fears.  Whatever they are, when you hit rock bottom with him, you'll know it and then, in your own time, you'll make your decision to stay and live with it or go.  There won't be questions or fears once you choose.  It's really not so bad on your own.  The trade offs, even if financial, are worth it.  I love coming home to peace and quiet and never having to wonder where the land mines are in my own home.  I wish you the very best.
650091
I am in your shoes as i type, I am married to a island man, and it was love at first sight, but I will be honest with you, you are going to miss your family like hell! I have no family where I am residing now, but once love is in the air that's all the matters.  I am very family orientated myself, my husband is not!  If you can get him to move where you are at good for you, but if not you just have to follow your heart like i did! Take care! IF YOU WANT TO TALK YOU CAN EMAIL ME SPORTINTAHOE07@YAHOO.COM
263728
I know how you feel! I had the same decision to make. I moved from NYC to OH (500 miles)about 2 years ago, so my son could be closer to his father (He is my ex husband).  Well his father decided to go back to NY and left his son and me here in OH.  I knew my ex for 20 years and we were good friends.  Now I am stuck out here with no family or longtime friends.  But I do have a wonderful career and I am surviving with the aid of one awsome friend.  He has been the one to help with the adjustment of a totally different life.  All I am saying is think before you move.  A month isn't long enough to decide if you should move 2000 miles away. Especially if you just got together.  It takes time and alot of trust to move far away from everything you know to start a life with someone.  You need to know if she is going to be your leaning post when you need it.  A month isn't long enough.  And if it doesn't work then you have to be prepared to be on your own in an unfamiliar place. I wish you luck and hope everything turns out great.  PS - I don't regret anything but just look at every aspect.
210550
I am not happy with anyone other than you. I have learned this over the past couple months, and in some ways, I dont want to leave him because it will hurt, but I do want to be with my family. All 3 of us. I realized that.. you loved me thru and thru, just like you said. I am willing to make it work... I just hope you still are. I know that in relationships, there are good times, and there are bad times. We need to be able to work thru the bad times together... We need better communication.. and all in all, We need eachother.