we both r the best f friends,have loads of fun together,go on dates juts as frens but flirt a lot.Recntly i realized i have feelings 4 her and her bf who she is been dating 4 three yers is chaeting on her,she doenst know thst i m sure she ll trust me weni tell her the truth but i rellly care a lot for her nd dont wnat her to know,he recently moved to canada 4 his education nd we both ll be goin der in a cople of months.trust me i can do nything to see her happy and im not plannin to ask her out coz even if she breaks up wid him,she wont be able to get over him(3yrs is loong) nd plus i dated her best frined( i no very complictaed) now my only htink shud i tell her or jut let it go????i m sacred if  tel her it will mess our freindship but the way i have been actin recently (cant help it) is not doin is ny good HELP!! SORRY 4 SUCH  A LONG STORY,HOPE U UNDERSATND NEED ADVICE?
130537
Ok if she is your best friend I would tell her and she would understand if she was a true best friend oh not to be rude you should kinda re-read things befor sumiting them...  -K-
273495
If he says nothing is going on, then trust him.  I have a lot of really great guy friends that are strictly friends.  If they have been friends for a long time, chances are they have built up a good bond.  You don't want to be the one to try to break that.  You might try suggesting that all three of you hang out sometime.  It may be akward at first, but you may get to know her better and even become friends.  Just make sure you don't always put yourself as the third wheel.  Be okay with just the two of them hanging out.  As for the other girl, chalk that up to pure jealousy and trying to break up what you have.
626654
Ask your friend. I know you said ex-bestfriend but you r still friends right? If you arent then I would think you can go ahead and pursue her but if you are still friends then talk to your friend and find out how he feels about it first. Remember, friends sometimes last a lot longer than gf/bf relationships.
317232
people can love their friends too!\n\ni think the timing is just not right, but that doesn't mean she doesn't love you- just that it isn't the right time for you two to be together..\n\nand dating her best friend's ex without her sincere approval is against the girl code, so more than likely she's waiting on that.. maybe her friend (your ex) isn't over it yet so she's still sensitive...\nwhen her friend has moved on completely, she'll bring the subject up to her and see what's what - if you two are still into each other that is...\nbe patient!
537898
I would tell her, and here's why.  It's a strain on you, and you should probably put a little distance between the two of you for your mental health.  Tell her you've developed feelings for her, it wasn't on purpose, and you don't want her to feel pressured, but because of this you need to put a little space between the two of you for a time while you refocus yourself.  Then be friendly, but cut your contact with her WAY down.  This does a couple of things.  It lets her know your thoughts, which is important in an honest friendship.  But it doesn't give her the instant upper hand she would get if you "confessed your love" then waited around for her to do something (and what would that be? dump the BF?  decide if she feels the same in return?), which almost always has a bad result for the confessor.  Treat your developing ardor as a personal weakness of your own, perhaps a slightly embarrassing one, and assure her you're going to get over it without bothering her, you just wanted to do her the courtesy of letting her know why you can't hang out with her so much.\n\nOnce you go into "recovery" phase (spending less time with her) it does two things.  It lets her know you aren't a lapdog, hanging around, waiting for whatever attention she'll give you.  It actually gives you the closest thing to the upper hand you can have.  She'll also see less of you, giving her the chance to figure out if she misses you a lot.  If she does, she should be the one to bring up that she wants to see more of you.  When she does this, you can say (be nice to her, always be very very nice) "that would be difficult for me without the chance to date you... I'm concerned my feelings are to strong."  Be kind of wistful.  Then give her more space.\n\nYou're trying to get her to come to you.  It's the only way you have a chance after a confession anyway, but it can be very successful if she likes and depends on you, but has been more or less taking you for granted.  It also gives you control over your life, which is always adviseable.  One more piece of advice?  Flirt with some other girls.  But don't overdo it, and never be mean to anyone.\n\nMake sense?  Good luck.
548042
You are one great guy. Wish I knew some more like you. Let her have some time to get over her ex and then when the time is right to hint to her again you'll know. The only warning I would give is, don't give too much of yourself that you may be hurt- eg giving her money when she may never want you two to be anything more than "good friends" don't let her use you because if she things you still like her but are a soft touch and if she's feeling hurt right now, it might be 2nd nature for her to crave attention even when she may not want the same sort of attention that you have in mind to give her (ie.g/bfriend type) All the best and know that the right one is out there for you even if its not her. You sound like a great support to her when she needed someone most, but don't neglect your own needs  :)
480925
Know what you mean here.  I was in the same boat a little over a year ago.  I'd been friends with this girl for a while and I developed a crush on her.  I was too afraid to ask her out too.  Eventually, a mutual friend told her how I felt and she felt the same way.  Things worked out pretty well.  We've been dating for 51/2 months or so.  My advice is go for it.  If she is a true friend then she should respect your feelings even if she doesn't feel the same way.  Ask her she wants to take things to the next level. You have to be carefully.  If she says no, then you can't go treating her any differently even if you are hurt by it a little.  She shouldn't change because you show interest in her so neither should you.
559370
Well, maybe you should tell her how you feel about her! She may only think you want to be friends, so I would tell her soon. Ask her how she may feel about the idea of the two of you dating.  She may be happy that you have spoken up!  When you start dating a good friend sometimes it changes the friendship. You can only hope that the feelings for one another become more intense and more loving. If you happen to drift apart, then the original friendship may be forever changed.  I thought I would toss that in for your to consider. I mean if things do not work out well for you, you can only hope that you can still be friendly, and not resent any new fellows that may come along in her future if the two of you fail at your attempt at a relationship...do you see what I mean?\n\nGood luck, I hope she feels the same for you too, you sound so nice!
366994
you are in a very good situition right now. What u can do is to be her best friend. Let her know that she can tell u anything and u will always be there to listen. Then one day she may have a fight with her bf and break up with him so u can tell her that you have been waiting for so long to tell her that you really like her.
315526
I don't feel as if she is a friend to you.  But "you" know if she is or not because you are around her.  It is very ironic that everyone who you've seemed to have liked she likes to and has been physical with them in some way. I feel as if no "so called" friends should fall out over a guy.  Stick to having a "true friend" someone who doesn't like who you like knowing that you like them.  You aren't losing to your friend sweetheart because as long as you know that she is liking who you like try not to be around her because a true friend wouldn't keep on doing this to you.  This has happened to me but the situation was different.  Eventhough I don't know you I'd like to become your friend or get to know you because we have something in common even if I only give you my opinions or advice.  I wish you the best and if you don't continue to be friends with her don't let it be over the guys let it be because of how she is treating you.
536336
yea thats deep, but she obviously loves this guy, and u have to think about whats best for her, and apparently she thinks this is best, just try and get over her. If it was meant to be between ya'll then it will happen regardless. but i wouldn't tell her because that would make her feel uncomfortbale and maybe get u in a fight with the b/f. there are plenty of other girls that will be just like her. trust me!
591803
You are best off to remove your self from this triangle before everyone gets hurt. Stay friends with your friend and tell her guy that you will not have anything to do with him even if him and you friend split up as it will harm your frienship. And tell her how he is she deserves to know the truth about him so she can move on to someone who will respect her and love her for herself. You will find the right guy someday don't give up hope you will know when he is the one.
458228
WOW! I think she loves you but knows so much about you and you about her that it's become too difficult to broach the subject of you two being a potential love match. I think you need to ask yourself do I love her in that way? If you do you've got to bite the bullet this weekend and ask her if she has feelings for you other than as a friend? Tell her you want a relationship with a girl and are confused as she seems like a friend most of the time but then when you discuss the subject of other women she doesnt seem able to ddeal with it. DO YOU LIKE HER????? i hope you do and that she feels the same and can finaly get the strength to let you know, some of the best relationships start with 2 people being friends first I think you 2 stand a fair chance of settling down together unless she is just a friend and a possessive one at that. If that is the cse you need to tell her you are interested in having agirlfriend and she needs to allow you to do this if she cant deal with that then you need to meet her a little bit less cos no girlfriend will put up with you having such a female possessive best mate! Good Luck!!
385618
just keep going and be a good supportive freind. if things dont work out later on btw her and your other freind that she is dating then there is your chance
285937
Well, for starters, I wouldn't recommend you put down the relationship she's in with this guy she met online.  It is entirely possible that she really does love him - the fact that they haven't met face-to-face yet doesn't mean they aren't a 'real' couple.  You can learn alot about someone when your only method of spending time together is communicating! (and not getting caught up in lusty feelings because you're next to an attractive person - this is far more dangerous, especially if you're basing a relationship on that feeling..) \nIt sounds to me like you're being a friend to her, so that's how she perceives you - as a friend, and only that.  You sound angry, and annoyed that she would be interested in anyone but you.  Remember free will - just because she knows YOU want more doesn't mean she's obliged to give it to you, or fall in love with you, or however you want to look at it.  She's going to have her own wants and needs.  There is obviously something this guy is giving her that she hasn't gotten from you - which is why she's with him.  \nSo stop expecting things from her - go date other people, go live your life.  Maybe she will miss having you there for her all the time, and realize how important you are to her. And, maybe she won't - maybe you'll find someone you like better anyway.  Alternately, you could try talking to her about it - and ask her outright if she might want to date you - not just be friends.  Sitting around brooding about how she's dumb for not wanting to be with you isn't the way to get things accomplished.. it's just wasting energy and time that could be spent doing much better things...
433354
First of all, your friend has the freedom to date anybody he wants without anybody's permission.  Dont get involved in his relationship.  Unless he talks to you about it and asks your advise.  You dont want to loose a good friendship over something like this.  This is what my bestfriend tells all his boyfriends, "You may not like my friends and I'm not trading my friends for you, they were my friends before I knew you and they will be with me should something happen to our relationship."  For now just go with the flow.  And be happy for him, cause that's all that matters is that he's happy!  Keep being the good friend you are.  Think positive!  Should he freak out if he doesn't already know then worry about it then.  Good luck! :o)
148940
She sounds like she's confused. next time you talk to her, just tell her that you think she's cool but you don't want to get in the middle of her and her bf's relationship. If she wants to be friends with you that's fine but if she wants to take it further she needs to say bye to him. Good luck!!