I have been with my boyfriend for almost 4 years. There has never been anything bad that makes me know he's talking to anyone else, etc. However, lately, I have just been having the worst thoughts and anxiety.  I can tell he is getting annoyed with my tones. I do not come out and accuse...but it's obvious that I am being negative.  I am so worried that he is going to break my heart. (yes, I had a LONG relationship where that happened a few times to me). What should I do? Could these thoughts that something is not right be a true feeling? My imagination getting the best of me? He has ben a little irritable with me lately...a little distant.  But, that's it.  I should add that we live together.
122048
Talk to him about it. Maybe he's distant because your being mean and he doesn't know why.\nThe key to a good relationship is communication.
664897
He sounds immature.  Ask yourself if you  are better off with him or without him.  Sounds to me like without would be the way to go.\n\nI just ended a 7 year relationship - so don't feel alone in this.  I feel sad at times but am getting my life back together without his head games and am feeling at peace\n\nGood luck
213850
you will eventually get to where they don't bother you. trust me love is worth a little irritation.every once in a while when you are feeling a little irritable.those little things that bug you now will make you positively bitchy. don't worry no matter who your with they are gonna do something that bugs you. if you love this guy. show him you want him even though he can drive you bananas sometimes.
466884
It's only natural for a husband , or wife, to be feeling that way; especially since you two will be apart. It's sad to say, but since I live on a military base, you do see ALOT of that going on and maybe that's also why he feels the way he does. Alot of other soldiers may be putting "so-called" thoughts into his head, also. All you can do is be honest, sincere, faithful, and loving. Hopefully he will have enough faith in you to trust you completely. Being too jealous and suspicious can certainly pull people apart, also.
262375
I am also going through a break up right now. My BF of 4.5 years broke up with me 3 weeks ago. I was happy with him and he was happy with me, but he didn't know what he wanted out of life, blah, blah, blah. He still loves me and I still love him, so I have hope that we will get back together, but I'm not holding my breath.\n\nI too went through the depressed stage. I found that writing in a journal about how I felt helped alot. It let me get my feelings out without being overly emotional in front of other people. \n\nI am now in the angry stage, where I'm just so mad at him for doing this to me. \n\nI've heard that grief has many stages. My advice to you is to not make contact with him. If he calls don't answer and maybe wait a couple of hours to call him back. Make him think that you don't care.\n\nI wish you the best of luck.\n\n(((((HUGS)))))
265480
I remember how I felt when I left my sweetheart.  I was only able to see her once a weekend.  She lived like 20 miles from where I lived and I had to take the bus every Saturday to see her.  Man, what great times.  But at day's end, my heart hurt something fierce.  Don't feel embarrassed.  You may be afraid to lose this great feeling you have.  You don't ever want it to go away.  This is your insecurities talking.  You need to know that you are everything he wants.  Gain confidence in you and your relationship.  You possess the power.
219934
Perhaps it's something said in your conversation that triggered his emotional side, which burst out his past feelings. Rest assured that he still loves you. You shouldn't worry too much; he shall sleep it off.
249097
It sounds to me that his picking fights about nonsense is because he feels insecure about himself or even about the relationship between both of you. What is/are the reason(s) for him to say that you're cheating? Is it because you're seeing/calling him less? Did you hold on something not telling him when he asked you? He may be suspicious of your response to him. If you cannot really tell him something but it doesn't relate anything to your relationship, try to reassure your love and feelings towards him. Let him know you're always loyal to him and standing by him. \n\nHe always threatens to leave but he never does--It shows to me that he is upset about something (or feeling dissatisfied about something in the relationship) but he still cares about & loves you because he always only says so without the actual action. Again, it may due to his insecure feelings about your love/concern for him. He may not feel the same care/concern as he does to you. He may feel you don't love/care for him as much as before. He is worrying about your changes if there is any. So try to figure out if there is anything bothering him or making him feel dissatisfied.\n\nRight now I'll give him the benefit of doubt about his seeing someone. I'd rather think the major problem/issue is that he is feeling insecure about himself & the relationship. So my suggetion is: Try to compliment him more and let him know you really love & adore him and why.\nIf both of you have common friends, praise him in front of his/your friends to let him feel special, respected and loved. \n\nHope it helps.
140424
Dr Steve summed it up best.  He's telling you what you want to hear and going to be doing it behind your back.  Unless he gets help he's not going to change.\n\nIt has nothing to do with you.  It's all about him.  I know you want to believe but sometimes you have to listen to your head instead of your heart.\n\nYou can't live your life worried.  You need to be secure in your relationship.  You are not.  Tell him if he doesn't get help by (Pick a date), than your leaving.
419576
Obviously he's going through some hard times right now, especially  if this has scenario has never happened before.  I definitely think that he's hiding something or not telling you everything because when he got upset and gave your some BS, he was trying to shift the focus on getting angry at you instead of you finding out what was wrong with him.  Definitely give him some time and if you know him like you should, then he'll come around and tell you everything.  Tell him about your concerns and make sure to give him some space to work things out.\n\nGood luck!
126898
it's ok to open up a conversation especially that you are feeling this way. if you don't get the right answers then it could be s start of misunderstanding that can lead to separation .at this point, maybe you're not sure yet about your relationship. communicate to each other in a nice way to resolve this problem.
465735
Dear Downhelps:\n\nIt seems like you are feeling this way mainly because of a boyfriend who may be acting as if he is losing interest in you.  Is this correct?\n\nIn our human personalities we express many different things.  We are able to succeed sometimes, be smiley sometimes, win friends sometimes and so forth.  But we also can meet up with opposition, limitations and those who pull their friendship away from us.  The human personality goes thru many changes.  It is always shifting, changing, and altering.  It is never stable and on an even level.\n\nOur souls or spirit behind our human personality is the seat of higher thoughts, self-love and love of others.  It is unchangeable, never alters or shifts in it's position or outlook.  It is capable of withstanding the lack of love from outside of itself.  This means that inside of YOU is something CERTAIN about itself.  It loves, it thinks highly of itself (because it is God's Created Child) and it knows every brother in the universe has the same Self or soul within them, too !  If the human personality changes and thinks it no longer loves or it no longer likes another, the soul within that person still loves or likes the other.  Soul knows nothing but love and liking.  For it is like God in how it thinks.\n\nWhen the soul through the human turns itself over to love and suddenly finds itself lacking the loved one's interest, in it's wisdom it does not cling.  As the seat of wisdom and love, itself, it knows when to let go and release the other.  BUT, it knows that it can produce more love for itself simply because it desires it, and is open to having it and can produce more of it again.  The spirit within has self-esteem, because it is connected to God Who puts high value on it.  \n\nValue your ability to produce love over and over again in your lifetime.  Have the strength of wisdom to release those who need to be released and to know - their changing feelings are part of their personality.  We do not have to be hurt or harmed by those who go back and forth in their feelings.  Or those who we have cared about more than they cared for us.  Sometimes, our human minds like to punish us and tell us we weren't enough to hold onto love or friendship.  But it is telling us a lie.  And, we don't have to listen to it.\n\nYOU are an Eternal Being.  God made no losers.  He made us like Himself:  strong in love, willing to let go, when necessary, to honor the Free Will of his Children.  He is in a constant state of knowing that He produces love ceaselessly by Creating it.\n\nWe create it also!  We produce it over and over in our lifetimes too! There is someone else coming for you when you smile again and make more friends.  You brought this friend toward yourself, didn't you?  Well, why not bring another to yourself?  You have power.  You have ability to attract and bring to yourself what you desire and think about. Do not give up your power just because someone wants to move on. . ..  Cause another friendship, be part of another love.  We do learn lessons from our loves.  They are valuable if they do not knock you down!  Take the good out of those lessons and USE IT.  Take the rest of what is in those lessons and throw it away!\n\nYOU did not suddenly become unworthy, unlovable or unlikeable because someone else's personality did not show you consistent feelings.  You are still YOU.  You gave your boyfriend power over you.  Now take it back!  In time, you will stop missing him.  I promise you that.\n\nBest regards, Lana
440310
I dont think you have much to worry about, I mean if he says he loves and adores you. But the other thing is that he mentioned that in the future you two will have a good relationship. Im hoping that doesnt mean hes gonna dump you know and come back for more later, bc that is totally not right. And if he knew that he might not even have those ideas. I had the same problem. I told my boyfriend that he cant just leave me and come back for more...because the more will be with some other person and not ever see him again. And we have been together for 1 and a half years now. If this guy really adores you and loves you and tells you this...and you trust all that he says you have nothing to worry about. But if he has broken your heart many times and you have trouble trusting him and telling him that you love him back, then he might just get the urge to hurt you again. And i hope that doesnt happen.
672759
From the information you have provided I suspect you may be imagining things.\n\nYou have been together for 4 years but are still not married or living together. Is this yours or your boyfriend's choice? If your boyfriend's then perhaps his lack of commitment to the relationship is prompting these feelings that he is having an affair.\n\nYou have only given two examples of his suspect behaviour, the second of which is extremely weak. There is nothing in the SMS message that indicates it was addressed to a woman never mind a women he is having an affair with. The fact that he referred to you as his girlfriend makes me sceptical that it would have been to a woman he is romantically involved with.\n\nCatching him out in a lie about his meeting is a little more worrying. However you indicate that he had an excuse - was his excuse reasonable?\n\nPossibly your woman's intuition is just your subconscious telling you that you are no longer satisfied with the relationship and your boyfriend's lack of commitment and you are looking for a way out.\n\nDo you have any close friends that you can talk to about your concerns? They will probably be able  to give you a better opinion than anyone here.
15818
Your partner might feel the same way.  Don’t be afraid.  Try to have a leave headed discussion.  Don’t drag in past fights.  Be fair, let them know you still care but that you are suffering and you know they are too.  You want them to be happy and you want happiness for yourself.  I hope this helps.
360714
It's okay. We can't be all lovey dovey every single time we are with our boyfriend. It's only natural... especially if you've been with him for a long time. EVENTUALLY it's gonna happen.\n\nJust yesterday, I met my boyfriend for lunch and we were hardly talking. LOL. I guess we were just too tired.\n\nEH.. it happens. Nothing to worry about.
100089
That's exactly what it sounds like.  Ask him.   If it bothers you enough and you guys have been dating for a long time, I would express my disappointment to him and see if he cares enough to stop.