this man i have been seeing for about 8 months it has not been a very easy relationship it seems like everymonth around the 20 we break up! he is seperated from his wife anin the middle of a divorce! i just need things explained to m! last week we broke up because he would not answer my phone calls for 3 days so i just asked if i could come over and get my stuff he told me yes and asked me to ask him no questions just come and get my stuff what is the deal????
119235
Because he is confused.   He doesn't know whether his old relationship is over, and he still has strong feelings for his ex-.\n\nDon't push hime, but let him know that you are there when, and if he needs you.
94747
I agree...you have been brave...however...most men do not do well with ultimatums so you might lose him.  HOWEVER if it's really meant to be, he will come back after a while, once he realizes how much life sucks without you.  If he doesnt, sit back and be happy that you're not wasting anymore time on someone who's not willing to be with you the way you need and want.  \nI live by this:  \n\nIf you love something, set it free\nIf it comes back to you...it's yours\nIf not, it never was.\n\nI am currently in a very very similar situation...so I truly do understand what you feel like.  e-mail me if you wanna chat melissakct@yahoo.com\n\nAs for some of the mean rude answers you recieved...ignore them.  Men do not only cheat for no-strings attached sex, perhaps he simply made a mistake when he got married and now realizes it.  It's only natural for him to see what else is out there before getting a divorce as divorce is a painful expensive process.  Perhaps assisting him in his affair is not the most moral thing we could do...but I don't think you did anything wrong.  And just b/c he cheated on her...does not mean he will cheat on you.  It all depends on his state of mind when entering the affair.  If he truly stopped loving his wife (very very possible) and already emotionally left the marriage...chances are he will not cheat again.  Only you know the answer to that. \n\nHope to hear from you.
407954
Yeah, it sounds bad. He wanted to cut out quick, and that's good. You don't want him hanging around just to be polite, do you? The fact that he hasn't called yet, doesn't mean anything.. guys are not usually phone hounds like women are, but not coming in was the clincher.
613305
Honey, you already admitted that the relationship was hard to handle. It's time to let it go. Perhaps you're annoyed that it wasn't you who ended it; or more probably that you were so easily replaced. Let it go. It's time for it to end and both of you need to get on with your lives.
362640
Stop whining...Is life good for you?  If yes, then let it go, it's only been 1 1/2 years.  I could see if you were past 3 or 5 years.  Give the man time.  You have obviously never been through divorce before.  He's gone through it twice!  Do you know what that does to a person?  Give it a rest for a little while and if it's meant to be it will be.
283810
Damn, I wish I had his problems, I am a man and I am going through the exact same thing. It's hard when you want to be with a person and you feel they do not want you. I have tried going on trips just the two of you. If nothing else works ask flat out what is up? This was a good month for me, I got it more than once a week, I still had to beg a few times but at least I got it. I know for a fact it is going to be different this month, I will be begging more but I love her.
598681
Why should you wait?  He is not waiting, I am sure.  Give him all the space he needs and move on.  You don't need this kind of turmoil.
555508
The problem probably is that your not being direct enough.  You say your doing everything but you haven't done what needs to be done if you want to be with him.  You need to actually talk to him and tell him that it is him you miss and that you want to be a part of his life.  Right now he probably feels like you ended things and that he isn't willing to risk getting dumped again without being sure that this is what you want and that your willing to actually be with him through the bad times and not end things so easily.
267489
If there is no communication it will not last.  YOu only been with him for 8 months  I would move on.  That would be the easy way out but no one likes the easy way.  Most likely you will go on for few more month or until the point you say enough is enough.
668473
this guy sounds like a lot of trouble, you have only been seeing him for four months and all these problems have problems have been hapening, you should be on your honeymoon stage but instead you have problems, maybe you should leave this guy and leave all thses problems. why stick with him whne he accuses you of drama, you dont need that , you need a guy to be there for you when you need him not when he needs you to bail him out of his problems.
605916
Well that all depends on how long yall have been apart because of him needing space. If it has been longer than a month then I would say cut him loose. It shouldn't take him that long to figure out what he wants. Don't sit around and wait on him cause that's all he wants you to do. Also if you are not in love with him, then why are you with him in the first place. I have come to find out that relationship's don't work out if you just love the person and not in love with them.
542934
i broke up with my bf in october, and it is still so hard for me not to pick up that phone and tell him to come home... he moved everything out and i havent felt like i am at home in my apartment since... its hard for everybody... you just have to let it go for awhile, why don't you call up some friends and go out... you will see, he will be back before you know it.
380149
It could be either. Relationships are tricky. Especially when it's hard to break the chains between the two of you. If it's been over for 6 months though, and he has not asked to get back together with you, then he might just be looking for and craving the attention and good feelings that you give him. Remember, you are not his consolation prize. I would tell the guy to either shape up or ship out. I'm sure he did leave something great, - I'm also sure you deserve someone who knows what they want. My ex did this to me for a long time and I hung on because I still loved him very much - but he wasn't still in love, he just wanted the attention and affection that I gave him. He wanted me to keep his ego afloat. Stop giving this guy attention and see what he does. Then if he starts to call and come over, either don't let him, or tell him to make a choice. You need communication. Ask him what his intentions are.\nRespect,\n-laura
112954
Been there, done that.  He is using you, I say get out now while you are still not too emotionally attached.  If he only spends 2 hours at a time with you, it sounds like he is having his fun and then running home to his wife.  That's exactly what my ex did, the best thing you can do is learn from it.
612593
Despite what he said, it doesn't sound like he is ready to get back together with you.  It doesn't sound like he can put in the time he would need for you to have a meaningful relationship.\n\nI would forget him and move on.
450503
I feel for you, you must be broken at the moment, but sadly I think he has made the decision not to be with at the moment for himself and wants to pull himself together on his own. I would ask him once if there's anything you can do to help, if so than he needs you as a support, if not, back off but ask after him to show you care until he's ready to share his life again, good luck.
619615
Are you trying to talk and he is not interested?  Is it a comfortable silence where you are just content to be together and possibly know each others thoughts?  Do you want to break up, but are waiting for him to make the move or do you want to stay together and are worried he already left so you are afraid to put yourself out on a limb and reach out to him - maybe this is what he is waiting for?  Is there other demands on his or your time that limit the time to talk?\nIt may be a sign of breaking up, a sign that more effort is required, or that you are comfortable enough not to have to talk all the time.  I am sure these are the things you are already thinking, but only you and he can decide if it is over or if you want it to be over as we don't know the personality quirks of either of you.  If the communication is so bad that you cannot ask him then I guess it is over or never was.