I am in a very healthy, wonderful relationship. We are getting married and I am overwhelmed with joy. My issue is this, I have recently admitted to myself that I have a fantasy that includes having a sexual relationship with a woman. Do I leave this in my mind and let it be, do I talk with him about it and use it as a game in our bedroom, or do I fulfill it without his knowledge?
138857
let him know .he might be cool with it. honesty is the best policy. but if he says no. then sneek.
8711
tell your b/f your fantasy, If he is not up for it, then tell him you need to experience that and let him know you plan to do just that! If he is up for it, then explain he is not invited, that there is something in the idea that you want to experience for yourself and go do it! Talk to him afterwards and see what comes out of it from there. Do not tell him the details, for it is none of his business, Just ponder the fun within yourself and find out if he is the one......or if she is the one. Good luck!
293885
Hey, as long as you guys are communicating openly and honestly about it, and you are both comfortable with the situation, then go for it.  Nothing wrong with it at all.  Just make sure that you both talk over everything and that you still both trust and respect each other when it is done.  Set up boundaries and rules before hand and let him know a head of time what is on and off limits so there are no awkward situations.  If this is your first time, map out the way the night is going to go with the third person from start to finish.  Who is going to do what, touch what, where at, what position and so on so that nothing is in the way and no one is left out.  Tell him what you want out of this and have him tell you what he wants out of this. Maybe even talking about what you are planning on doing will lead to some hot discussions and lead to a great night of sex before you ever even invite someone into the bedroom!   Good luck with this!   Love, Angela
411747
Dear Omar,\nAm sorry to hear about your wife. It must really be tuff to hold out like you have. In my opinion, I dont think she would damn you for taking on a female friend. I realize it gets lonely especially for a guy. I empathize with you.  You know, I understand you want to stay faithful and probably have thought, what if it was me. Well, my friend, you ARE being faithful, as far as I know. Only God is the judge of what you do. And God knows your heart, whether you are being malicious or not. I don't believe he wants you to be with out companionship. Now sex is another story. You will be taking on alot of guilt because you are not free of your wife in your mind or heart.And suppose you get so involved you fall in love with this person. Then what? Do you chuck your wife and go with her? It is such a fine line as to what to do in this case. I mean what do the docs say about your wife? Is she brain dead? Is she losing body mass by laying? Is she deteriating, What? I say, just be careful not to add additional problems to your life that you may not be able to handle. Choose someone that clearly understands the situation and keep it plotonic(yeah right, huh?). Its nice to know you have someone to talk to and go to dinner and have conversation with, right? To go for walks and the movies. I know what you are talking about. So really you have to make that call and when you do make sure you have a clear conscience.
574305
Have you ever been with a female before?  I don't think you're a lesbian because you have admitted that you want to marry your boyfriend and have children with him.  I think you're just curious about being with a woman.  If it's only for the sexual aspect of it, why not let your boyfriend watch?  That should please all parties involved.  :O)
457432
LOL, not to laugh at you, but it sucks you can't join in. I would ask your wife, if she must explore her fantasies, could it be with someone not related to you, so you can participate, too. I mean, if you aren't bothered, then don't make a big deal about it. Just simply state that you wished you would have know, so you wouldn't have been shocked/surprised. Ask her what her thoughts and plans are, and from there, you must decide.
46590
Yes I have. I believe imagination is what helps keep a marriage a float, and hepls me stay faithful. My marriage is still struggling for other issues, so my imagination helps getting through the act sometimes. Good luck with your relationship!
255185
I'm a fem bi and (for me) the best part of sex with another woman is finding out how to do it.  There is no right way or wrong way.  Just do what pleases your partner and you're doing it the right way.  If anyone like to discuss experiences, please email me at g_shrn@yahoo.com.
217321
SOUNDS TO ME YOUR BOTH PERFECT FOR EACH OTHER! SOME PEOPLE AREN'T THAT LUCKY TO BE ABLE TO EXPRESS THEIR SEXUAL FANTASIES/NEEDS WITH THEIR PARTNERS. CONSIDER YOURSELF BLESSED AND KEEP ON ENJOYING!!!
103553
Ummmm, this may be a bit tough, but why might he want to go through that?  I had an old wanna-be track me down and call me in the middle of the night a month after I was married.  Did I want to open old memories with her?  Nope.  Put me in a bad spot over something I was not interested in the first time around.  Forget it and move on.  Your fantasy is probably not his.
319326
Rather than just coming out and saying "that's not going to happen," my opinion would be to try and try and try again.  What better gift can a future spouse receive than you on your wedding night - with a commitment that you have chosen to become pure - again - for this night only.  It is perfectly OK to start making that commitment now.  Buy yourself a purity/commitment ring and wear it on your ring finger and really try each day to live out that commitment.  Believe me, it will change your life =)  My opinion:  Wait until marriage!!!  Best wishes =)
595703
If you were NOT doing this, I would think you were nuts! After 11 years, fantasy keeps things fresh. Go for it, keep it to yourself, and have a ball. There is NOTHING wrong with this, Anyone who says differently is either lying or have no idea of what they are talking about . We are not kids here! In fact, you might want to play some games with hubby...if he is a game player. If he is a square, missionary type, keep it to yourself. Good luck, and happy dreams!
193052
Most men want a threesome.  I think you need to have a long talk about why you don't like the idea, and why he wants another woman.  Inviting others over for group play can wreck a marriage if the marriage isn't 100% sound.  If there are no hidden agendas, jealousy, marital problems, homophobia, group play offers a new dimension of pleasure to love-making.  \n\nIf both of you are not completely happy and secure in your marriage, I would advise against it.  But please don't reject his fantasy outright.  \n\nIf you do decide to do it, you pick the girl, make all of the arrangements, discuss ground rules and get a hotel room.  You are granting his biggest fantasy, keep control of the situaton.
118013
Hard situation to talk yourself out of.  I have been in this predicament three times.  Twice I got out of it alive and well.  Try to either convince him that fantasy is safe as long as it is him that you are with (Maybe even encourage him to do the same)  OR  Exclaim a different name next time you are intimate (Preferably not another ex)  The one time it did not work, I said her name the next time.  May have been the girls, may have been the tactics... Never will know.\n\nGood Luck
177124
Ok, I have to say that a lot of the answers that you have received so far are close, but none of them quite hit the mark or cover all the bases, so I am going to see what I can do here. \n First of all, I am fairly qualified here as my fiancé and I have done a threesome with both another woman and another guy, and our relationship has survived it unscathed. \n To answer the main question of why. . . There is no single answer that would apply to all men that have those desires. Yes, porn for a lot of us has glorified the threesome. Another common reason is that watching two women be intimate is quite erotic. Lets face it, they call you the "fairer sex" for a reason!!\n Could your BF feel pressure to please you? If so, a second person could be viewed as a helper.\n The most common reason, however, is simply the desire to have variety in ones sex life.\n Now, let's address how you should go forward. First of all, your BF shared a fantasy with you, and if you ever want him to ever do so again, you cannot react negatively to it. That does not mean that you have to do it, but you also want to avoid him feeling rejection from it.\n To help you decide if having a threesome with another woman is something you want to do, consider this:\n Are you physically attracted to women? I.E. Are you bi/bi-curious? If so, you could decide that you are will have a threesome with him with the stipulation that he and the other woman do not have sex. Set very specific boundaries, I.E. Is touching ok? Is kissing ok? Is manual stimulation ok? Etc. . . If you cannot trust him to abide by these boundaries during the heat of the moment, you do NOT want to do this!\n If you decide that you do not want to do this, explain it to him, but offer to incorporate it into your fantasy life. Say something to him like "The idea turns me on, but I would not be ok with the reality of it", and then bring it up in a sexy way during foreplay or lovemaking. Reiterate after you are done having sex that this is something that can only be a fantasy, never a reality. This is often the perfect compromise in these situations.\n In my experience, a man bringing this fantasy to his significant other is generally sign of developing trust, and not of impending doom. The act itself, however, has been the end of many strong relationships, so tread carefully!!
561424
I feel exactly the same, I have thought about it but have never said it outloud. I don't know if I met someone if I would actually do something of if it is just a fantasy. Email me if you want to chat :)
101380
Sorry, but this doesn't sound like a healthy relationship to begin with. If this dude cares more about his fantasies than about you..................dump him.