Dad is suddenly very ill and dying of undetected cancer.  He has no life insurance and we don't know how we will put him to rest.  I need guidance as to where to go to find out what we can do.  We live in MA.  This is all new to us, scary and so, so sad but we need to plan now.  What do we do?
128921
I found this information that is specific to MA.  There are certain qualifications for it, but it may be worth looking in to.  Good luck.
548872
Hi hon!\nThis happened to a friend of mine also.  He was 19, had cancer.  Was on some serious medication, but was getting by.  Then we all stopped hearing from him.  Visited his house, but his mom said he had died.  But his shoes were in the hallway.\nSo we all grieved, and moved on.  \nYears later he showed up on one of my friends doorstep.  His mom had told all his friends that he had died.  What a bitch.\nMaybe he didn't want people to see him like that.  Maybe his mom thought his friends would stress him out.  I don't know.  All I do know is we aren't friends with him anymore, we wish him well, but what a terrible thing to do to your "friends".\nSo I shared a little something with you there didn't I?  Take it for what it is, an experience.  Perhaps you aren't getting the whole story either!\nHave a great week...
606540
The funeral plan worked for my mom. She had cancer for several years, we (my brothers, sisters, and I) went to the funeral home to get the plan best for her. She passed away 3 months later in 1991, and the funeral plan we got, paid for everything. When my dad passed away in 1977, he had life insurance that covered some of the funeral arrangements. The rest of the amount was divided among my siblings and I, we had each a monthly payment to make on the remaining of the bill. Which put some of us in a financial bind. \nPre-planning is the best choice because of the high cost of funeral expenses today.
583191
My dad died of cancer, small cell lung cancer, that only comes from cigarette smoke. You don't have to ask me my opinion!!!!\nHis bones disolved from the cancer before he died.\n\nI have to ask, since we are honest, why is this even a question when a child is involved? Your husband needs to stand up like a man for his family!!!
473726
I have first hand experience in dealing with cancer.  What would be very helpful?  Offer to clean the house, offer to make dinner.  Help the wife so she can focus on her husband.  Also, visit him.  For my mom, I put together a "hospital kit".  I included a washcloth, bar of soap, shampoo, magazines, new pjs' etc... whatever they like.   And once grand-dad is able to, bring your daughter often so he can see her.  That will really cheer him up!
582809
I am about to have a tumor the size of a cantalope removed from my body this Friday.  I also have a mass on a kidney.  I would be leaving behind three great little kids.  I care if you live.  You don't know what you have until there is a threat that it will be taken from you.  When I was younger I admitted myself to a psych hospital for three weeks because I didn't see any more reason to live.  Back then I really couldn't see any future for me.  If I had only known all the good things that were down the road.  Life is a gift and the best is yet to come.   Even if things are tough now, believe me, better days are ahead.  I care very much.  I don't want to die, and it hurts me to think of someone not understanding what they are throwing away.  Please seek help if you are serious.  Your are worthy of a wonderful life.  You deserve good things.  I don't know you, how old you are, what your situation is or if you are just bored and typing this question to see what people say but no matter what your reason for writing, I can assure you as someone facing some scarey stuff, I care very much that you CARE that you live.
239949
Do not loose hope yet the info at the site below may just provide you with the answers you need. Good luck, my prayers are with you, I wish I had this info when I was younger and my dad had cancer.
645988
I am so sorry to hear that.  I know what you are going through.  Both of my grandfathers died from cancer (lung) and there was nothing they could do about it.  As far as your nanna is concerned, it's only going to take time.  I don't know if you are religious or not, but sometimes just a prayer and hug is all it takes.  It's sweet that you are there with her and you really are  doing more than you realize.  I'm sure she appreciates it greatly.  It's not something that's easy and quick to get over.  Just sit by her and let her talk to you if she needs to.  You and your family have my greatest sympathy and prayers.
215926
I would be afraid, but if it was suggested to me by at least three different doctors, I would be inclined to do chemo.\nI am so sorry to hear of your mother-in-law's passing.\nIt is important to remember, though, that cancer is, indeed, a SILENT killer.  Even with all the technology and knowledge of today, doctors just aren't infallible.  They do commendable work, but they just can't hit the nail on the head every time.\nSo, so sad.  Continue being there for your husband and I sure feel badly for the loss of his mother.  I lost my mother from cancer and think of her EVERY SINGLE DAY, so I understand the "place" your husband is in.  It's the PITS.
307124
I also say there are people out there worse off then you. I also used to say if you have your health you'll be okay. Well in 2003 I was diagnosed with Hodgkin's Disease. I went through 12 chemo treatments and 25 radiation treatments. I have no health insurance and when everything was done I owed $260.000.00 in medical bills. I worked full time through all my treatments because my husband and I had no one to help us. We did lose everything. Our house, cars(used) and all of our household belongings, just to survive. And that we did. With only the clothes on our backs we have bounced back a little. All I'm saying is that there were many times I wanted do just GIVE UP. I did not. What I did is thank god everyday for being able to wake up. You only have one life. You make it what you want. Everyone gets scared, is lonely somewhere everyday. I don't know you but you are probably a very nice person and you need to focus on that. FOCUS on what makes you happy in life and grow with that. If you feel you have hit bottom, just remember you can only go up from there. Good luck and I will be thinking of you.
230089
Hope this helps & I'm sorry for your loss. Dads can never be\n replaced & the pain never goes away. Lost mine in 94...you never said"I'm Leaving." You never said good-bye You were gone before we knew it,and only god knows why. A million times we've needed you,a million times we've cried. If love alone could've saved you,You never would have died.In life we loved you dearly,In death we love you still, In our hearts you hold a special place,no one can ever fill. It broke our hearts to lose you,but you didn't go alone, For part of us went with you,The day God called you home. Thanks for the sweet tear this morning.God bless you my child.
207407
When you truly love someone, you understand that sometimes families need each other. My dad only sees my stepmother, Kathy, a couple of times a month for the last 6 months. Her mother is aging and her father is dying of cancer. He is 87 and their is nothing really that any doctor can do for him short of kemo therapy. Kinda stupid to put an 87 year old man with advanced prostate cancer through all that, not to mention the daily 2 hour drive she must drag her mother along with to get to the hospital.  My father says, "I don't know why his doctor even recommended the kemo knowing his condition and what it would mean to Kathy, but I'm not going to take away the only thing she's got to hold on to."\n\nI think that is true love and understanding. How can you come between a family during times of crisis? If he is not willing to compromise I would just say to myself, "I gave it my best but I got to do what I got to do."
510550
I HAD TO MAKE THIS SAME DECISION ONCE, IT WAS FOR AN AUNT, GRANTED NOT AS CLOSE AS A MOM BUTSTILL REAL DIFFICULT!!  YOU HAVE TO HONOR YOU MOM'S WISHES, SHE TRUSTED YOU WITH HER LIVING WILL!  IF IT'S A MATTER OF STOPPING LIFE SUPPORT, THEN DO AS SHE ASKED,  IF SHE'S ABLE TO BREATH ON HER OWN, AND YOUR CHOICE IS HOME OR A NURSING FACILITY,  TAKE HER HOME.THERE IS PLENTY OF HELP OUT THERE, HOSPICE WOULD BE THE BEST!!  GOD BLESS YOU, IT ISN'T EASY, BUT DO WHAT MOM ASKED......REMEMBER SHE TRUSTED YOU TO MAKE THIS DECISION!!
132601
I am sorry about your mom. My mom died in February too, after a very, very long illness. Dad is lost, confused, depressed, lonely, angry. Your dad may need to talk to someone. My dad feels like he can't find his place, like he does not belong anywhere. He does not plan on 'replacing' mom, now or ever even tho both my brother and I have told him it would be ok if he found someone to share his life with, even if he does not ever get married out of respect for my mom (I think I could handle him getting married again if that made him happy).\n\nI took him to the doctor last month and he wanted to be put on anti-depressants but the doctor told him that he had to deal with it, cold turkey, for at least 6 months, that it was a normal mourning process that he needed to go thru.(after 6 months he would consider giving him 'happy pills' and recommending a shrink)\n\nHe also told him that the worse loss a person can feel is when you lose a spouse, a child and a parent -- in that order. I hope your dad starts feeling better soon and that, if this new lady in his life is not right for him, he realizes it soon.\n\nPlease be patient with his anger fits, he may not know how to handle what he is feeling. Let him know that you love him and are there for him. Its all you can really do at this point. I feel your pain more than you know. Good luck!
663171
contact the American Cancer Society and explain what is going on. If she was a church member contact the local church of her denomination and ask for assistance. There are several other cancer groups that will pay stipends to people in your mom's situation but I can't think of the names of any of the others at the moment. Ask whomever is providing her wheel chair for leads on getting assistance. Do a Google search for groups that will help with her drug costs or contact the individual drug companies and ask about their patient assistance programs. Also ask her oncologist for any helpful leads. Treasure the time you have with your mom, because this may be your last opportunity to really spend some time together. Turn her staying with you into a positive and not a negative, despite her illness.
356762
You have to do a little research before trying to convince you dad to get treatment.  For example, it is quite likely that your dad has talked to the doctors and has more information than you at this point.  Cancer that has spread has no chance of cure. Chemotherapy can make a person very sick.  If he lives alone, there would not be anyone to take care of him if he gets chemo and feels like throwing up all the time.  So talk to him to get more information before trying to change his mind.
329560
My da died when I was 15 and I wish I had know the information in the site below. It is to late for your mom but not for others. I have helped many since I have learned this info because nobody should have to live with the medical injustice going on today!