It bugs me, I'm 27 years old and I have a hard time making friends, I sometimes think it's because i'm boring, I stay out of trouble and most people around here are into partying, I am nice and friendley but just can't seem to make friends with people, any advice, has anyone else been through this, I feel like people just stare at me like I'm abnormal for doing good, not partying or going out, staying home taking care of my kids, I'm pretty, I've lost alot of friends because they think there hubby likes me, I'm just venting right now, frustrated, any suggestions?...
124779
I know some people may not like me or what i stand for. I live for my lord and serve Him. It does not matter if people like me or not. What is important is, i know that God loves me. I live to please Him. Not people.
221623
i feel the exact same way. kinda' sucks, huh,so dont really know what to tell u buddy. srry.\n                                   im new , so not much of a  help, althuogh therre are some unplesant jerks on this site, (not me of course)some of them are nice, ive already made some friends!\nonce again srry. im not much of a help, but keep trying!
114061
Do you have a hard time working and dealing with people? Or is it just lack of experience with working with people?? If it's lack of experience, it'll just take you time to get used to it. If you really have a hard time dealing with people, then maybe you have social anxiety? There are meds to help with that.\nI have a very hard time working/dealing with people. I've learned to just smile and make people think I'm good at socializing and dealing with them. \nIf you're strapped for cash, just take any job and keep looking for others that you'd like better. Who knows, maybe you'll take the job at that family discount store and like it!!\n\nGood luck!
636425
People are so ignorant these days! So, don't worry about anything coz they are just making fools out of themselves. I also have experienced the same problems, but I stayed patient looking for and having good friends, and I did.
200377
You want the practical or the sociologist's answer? When you try too hard, people can tell, and even though a lot of the "in" crowd is really insincere, they have something to work off of - connections, friends, money, some kind of social tender. But they can sense that you're just trying and shooting blind, and it's irritating to them. You're trying to do something that's not you.\n\nIt really depends on your personality, and as Julia Kristeva said, fame (or, in your case, popularity) is a social phenomenon. However, there are things you can do to let people naturally feel drawn to you.\n\nOne of them is not to care - be confident, develop your skills and talents, and be DAMNED good at them and proud of them. Don't be arrogant; be humble and caring and sincere, but know your strengths and be honest about your weaknesses. People will want to know why you're so satisfied, why they feel good around you, and what makes you tick.\n\nAnother is to be really outgoing without trying. I'm not talking about extroverted, but this ties in with confidence. When you have confidence, you'll slowly drop your fear or awkwardness at not fitting in.\n\nAll through elementary school I was supposedly an outcast, but I was so unaware of my surroundings (I had friends and a GREAT life outside of school) that I didn't know, and it didn't matter. When I moved, it became more apparent, and all through junior high, I was awkward, but I eventually grew into my own group of friends, though I was never "popular" but not an outcast either.\n\nI moved in the middle of high school (again), so things were weird, but I found that I loved the people I could have very stimulating, and, yes, geeky discussions with. I loved choir and drama, and I loved conversations with my teachers. I got along with people who loved these things too, and everybody else who didn't care to get to know me, I didn't lose sleep over. I actually enjoyed my peace of "invisibility," not being involved with all that drama, and for some reason, I started getting more attention and even guys hitting on me, though I wasn't one of those people eager to get into a relationship anyway.\n\nStill, it was my workplace (a martial arts studio) that really opened me up. Getting into routine, discipline, and the quirks of the place built confidence. I interacted with people there whom I wouldn't normally have spoken to outside, and it didn't matter that we were SO different; we respected each other. I was happy with what I did, and it showed.\n\nThat's carried a lot through college. I don't have to party to meet people, but I am confident in my abilities and organised enough to get my work done so I don't have to stress and cram and avoid people when I'm studying. It wasn't until I got here that I realised people noticed me, but I'm so used to being out of the limelight that I didn't realise how many friends I'd made throughout the years from all walks of life and how many people I'm now getting to know, just by being myself. I guess I'm still not "popular," the kind of person who hears about all the events, but I think I have more real friends than the people who stick to one group anyway.\n\nSorry for the rambling, but the key is not to worry and to be confident. Take care of yourself because you like yourself; take care of your health because it'll make YOU feel better, not because you'll look better to everyone else. I dress well because it helps me start the day off well, not to attract attention. I do my best not to get praise, but because I feel good about it; I feel accomplished. =)\n\nGood luck, but you don't need it!
79591
I'm a 38 year old Male Married with an 8 year old Daughter.\n\nI never had your problem,BUT,I would always think "in my mind" that my "Friends" would let me hang out with them to give them someone they can make fun of in the group.\n\nwell I'm still alive....even to this day, even if they are talking about me SO WHAT! how many of your x so called "friends" will be around 5,10 even 20yrs from now?\n\nFocus on school or a sport, whatever.\nTake care of yourself first,even your friends come second.\n\nand don't forget what goes around comes around...one day they will try that with the wrong person and they will recieve the same treatment they are giving you.\n\nin this world SOMEONE is going to be better than you/them,whatever it may be. they might be big shots now. BUT when they get out into the real world,their going to be very small fish in a BIG pond.\n\nI know it's easy for me to just say forget it don't worry.\nBUT it's realy true. Love and respect yourself and you will be just fine.\n\nTake care & good luck
600206
I was the same way as you are: here my story\n\nWhen i was at the age of id say 10-13 was the same way i didnt wanna go and do anything that involved other people. and i had mabe 2 friends. i never hung out with them i just talked to them in school. i was always depressed. i HATED talken to new people or even people i knew. what i did was i suck it up and went into school and started talken to people no matter how much i didnt want to, i changed my appearence (i cut my hair short, started wearing really nice clothes) and just going up to random people and starting a convo wit them will actully help you. i guarentee you will be happier. Im now 16  almost 17 i have TONS OF FRIENDS im really popular, for my sophmore year i got best looking best dressed funniest and best listener. \nbecause you arnt in skool anymore or atleast i hope u arnt this is wat u should do.\n\n~~~heres wat to do~~~\n\n1. STOP BEING SO NEGATIVE\n\n2 Go and hang out wit some family members and go wit them to hang out wit their friends and because of that you will make new friends\n\n3 Dont be afraid to like go up to a random person adn start a convo. (this will make you happier because you will have tons of friends)\n\n4. i dont know how you dress or your personal appearnece but if you wanna try something new. Try changing the way you look, I.E. style of clothing if you dress like a geek then try changing to like mabe a pair of pants that are a little baggie, wear some nice shirts (Ecko Southpole Fubu).\n\n5. Smile, Be Nice\n\n6. if you are invited to something i suggest you go to it, try it, mabe you will realize how much fun you can have. And if you decide you dont like it then figure out why you didnt like it, was it the people? were you bored because you didnt hang out wit anyone? \n\nI Hope This Helps You Out A Little. \n\nif you have anymore questions email me : jslatts@hotmail.com
477942
I've noticed the same thing in my area. We're new out here, and I'm about to have our first baby, so I thought I'd try to meet people "like me". I think what happens is that a lot of these mom's join for the social aspect, but are also struggling to "work at home" with these businesses and end up bringing it with them.\n\nIn my first week of knowing these ladies I got invited to Discovery Toys, 3 Mary Kays, Tupperware, and some sort of Erotic Toy party. Only once did someone actually ask me to "hang out". Otherwise it's all parties. Needless to say, I don't keep in touch anymore. Plus, the group wanted to charge annual dues!!\n\nI've had better successes at my church meeting just normal people who want nothing for me, and don't see me as a referral for a party.\n\nIt's frustrating, but I do believe it's possible to meet young mom's/women who want to do more than sales parties.
346334
Hi, I'm 26 years old and currently in my freshman year of college. I definitely know how you feel; all throughout school I was not a very outgoing person. I usually kept to myself, at the same time I  tried to impress my peers. Now I realize how immature it was to act that way. You should never look down on yourself in any kind of way. It is important for everyone to feel they belong, and you seem to doubt yourself. The thing is, other people are just like you, they will not approach anyone and end up never making any friends. Be bold and walk up to the other guy like you and talk to them. They are just wanting someone to break the ice. My advice usually ends up being religious, but I do not feel like I should preach to you. One thing I will tell you is, turn to the Lord and he will never leave you. He will always be there giving you comfort, and the the great feeling that you belong. I never feel alone because I'm not. Just realize that people all throughout life will try to hurt you to make themselves feel better. You control your own life....make the best of it....live life to the fullest. Talking to an older person is great because they are wise and can give you some of the best suggestions. Hope this helps
44971
You are not alone! Try to not let your self esteem be your worst enemy. You remind me of me. I have to force myself to not isolate. Have you considered you may be depressed? I started taking medication in '01 and life has become better. I'm not so "scared" of people. It's hard to change but it can be done. I found a wonderful man who accepts me for who I am and he loves me so much. You are a unique individual and believe it or not, no matter what people say or how they treat you, you have something unique to share with this world. Hope this helps. :-)
12085
I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN.I ALSO HAVE FOUGHT SO HARD TO WHERE I AM. I HAVE GONE THRU SO MUCH,AND FOR PEOPLE TO JUDGE YOU BY YOUR AGE. I'M 22 and feel as a 30 year old man, i have my own home, my own car and a good buissnes.i have no problems dateing,but i seem to find the wrong kind of woman that likes to control a man,i have a sense of humor and at times i like to release steam on programs like this yahoo answers,but i'm no kid. i also enjoy the good, silly OR deep answers and questions here at yahoo. i don't care about points,i just need to blow out a little steam and survive another day in this life. FIGHTING FOR AIR as you say. i thank you so much for this public thank you,for you gave me confort and i know i am not alone. THANK YOU!
130979
I remember my first year was awful too.  I felt like I had nobody....I even felt like that when I first came home that May.  You just need to be somewhat outgoing, and smile, and things will work out because people will notice your smiile and frendliness.
484481
Friendship is more important to some people than others.  I do believe that one should have associates at least, too always be isolated is not good for you.  If you are not the type to give of yourself to a friend in almost the same effort as a relationship then socializing would be best for you. Like me I'm moody and very picky about people I don't have allot of friends.  I tend to focus in more on family and the special little and big things they bring to my life.   I have lost about 4 friends (so called) in less than 5 years, so I'm through with that now myself.  Just be free you don't belong to anybody but yourself.  Joining social and creative groups with people most like you for me is more beneficial than friends!
196839
Hey thumbs up for being you.Who ever raised you did a great job.Stay true to yourself.You can never have to many friends,cause latter on in life none of this stuff is going to matter.Noone will care who you hung out with and so on.But someday you will have touched someones life while the popular guy still has to prove himself just to make friends.Most times the poplular get further ahead in life,so it seems and i have seen many who shouldnt .But trust me im 34 and almost everyone i see now,the preps and there life is more screwed up then mine.They may be popular but there missing the one thing they need a HEART. So what comes around goes around.
582291
Nothing wrong with that at all.  I have not had a best friends since school either, I have a lot of friends that I am close to and who I see in groups or as individuals, if I need to talk I talk to my b/f or my mother, I think you are perfectly normal!  I don't think there is any right or wrong way to make friends, as we get older we have less time to spend with friends, especially if you have kids so it is hard to devote enough time to people to get that close very quickly, sometimes friendships take years to develop, be there for the friends you have when they need you and bonds you already have may deepen into a closer friendship.
196470
I hear you-- sometimes it feels like no one understands you or has a personality that matches yours.  You may have ended up with friends that chose you to be friends with them, trying meeting friends in new ways and picking your friends instead of them picking you.
31165
oasis, I have had this problem my entire life. I'm in my 30's now and am finally starting to get over the shyness. I still find it hard to talk to people I don't know and to make friends. What I have found is that everyone else has insecurities just like me. Some people are just better at overcoming them.\n\nSome things I have found that work for me are going out with a best friend and some of her/his friends. That way you already know someone in the group and can gradually build relationships with the other members of the group. Go out and do something fun with them a few times so you can reminisce about those times to break the ice.\n\nI really have a tough time coming up with things to talk about with other people, so what I have done is read newspapers and magazines and watch TV that has interests like those of a person I am interested in getting to know. That way I have something to talk about. \n\nI never was one for meeting men. That is until one man at work caught my eye. We said polite hellos to each other, but that just wasn't enough. I finally got up the nerve to talk to him. I walked right up, stuck out my hand, and said, "I can't believe you have been here this long and I still don't know your name." It impressed him that I was interested in him, and we began to talk and are now in a 2 1/2 year relationship.  Sometimes you just have to get the courage to start. The other person will often take over once you make the first move. Smile, be yourself, and take a chance. You never know the great people you  might meet!