my boyfriend and i were best friends for almost 10 years when he decided that we should be more than friends.i wasn't interested because he wasnt my type. He persued me for over a year until i finally gave in. we  were happy together for over two years .one day we had fight ( not unusual for us ) and he dissappeared i couldnt find him anywhere. i assumed he wasn't answering the cell because he wans't ready to talk yet. the next day he came over we made up and everything was fine . about 3 weeks after that he told me that the night we had the fight he spent the night at this girls house with a bunch of other people. said he got so drunk he dosen't remember what happened.  this girl was calling him for about 6 month b4 the incident and i kept telling him she has a crush on him but he just thought i was jelous. i'm not the jelous type nor was iinsecure. she turns up pregnant.i left him.and now i'm insecure because i dont know what went wrong.
121885
People cheat because they are selfish and there are selfish partners who will cheat along with them.\n\nThis is not a man/woman thing, unless all of these men are cheating with other men.  They are cheating with women.  Therefore, there are as many women cheaters as men.\n\nNot everybody cheats on their partner, not everyone in an affair is married.  But both parties are guilty of violating YOUR vows (if you were married, I see this was "just" a boyfriend)\n\nIt's not a man/woman thing, it's a character issue, and the character of both cheaters is the problem, not gender.
597072
I would confront him and ask him for the truth.  How long have you been together??  Do you trust him??  Do you love him enough to stay with him if it is true??  I think that the chances are if they are just friends, then they probably didnt.  Only they know and you need to trust what he says.....if you really love him.  If you dont trust him, then move on......I would also ask him why she was there in the first place.  Was it to make you jealous???
439517
had a conversation w/ his best friend where his best friend told me he luved me (i liked his best friend for 4 years) and that he (being the best friend) wanted to make out w/ me.\n\nmy bf still doesn't no
380449
Sweetheart - if he was absolutely hammered and said he had no recollection of doing anything then he must've been unconcious. From my experience when I guy is absolutely blotto then they are usually incapable of having sex at all! (if you know what I mean). \n\nYes, he may have been drunk, and yes, he may have regretted it but for him to say that he was so drunk that he didn't remember a thing.....don't believe it. \n\nPlus this whole thing about being angry with you - absolutely no excuse. I get angry with my boyfriend sometimes but I don't go out and shag the nearest bloke to me. \n\nThe reason why he's taken 3 weeks to tell you was probably because he was deeply ashamed, and probably scared that you'd tell him to pack his bags and leave. That fact that you guys have been together for 5 years makes things even more difficult to try and deal with so no wonder you think you're losing the plot! If this was a relationship that you'd been in for a year or less then I would advise you to dump the loser and move on with your life. But the fact that you guys have been together for 5 years - that says a lot. Plus, people do tend to think that if they can get away with something they ususally try to, so i applaud for your boyf for having the guts to tell you.\n\nYou need to seriously think about whether you'll be able to forgive him for this. People can think they can forgive a partner for cheating etc but what usually happens is that they don't. Every time you guys have an argument, the fact that he cheated on you may rear its ugly head. Everytime he goes out with the boys, will you really be able to trust him? Everytime he looks at another girl, how will you feel?\n\nWhat do you want from the future? Can you see this guy being the guy you settle down with? If you can, then you need to learn to be strong, forgive him and forget (in the best way you can) about this horrid little incident. \n\nIf I were you, I would sit down and talk to your fella and tell him exactly how this has made you feel. If you feel that you're strong enough to forgive him, and he promises never to do anything nearly resembling this again, then go for it and I really wish you both the best for the future. If you feel that you would find it impossible to forgive, then tell him that you feel absolutely so betrayed that you cannot see a way in your heart to forgive him, and that you must move on. It will hurt, but ultimately you'll be fine in the long run. \n\nRemember that time is a great healer, whatever you decide to do.\n\nGood luck chica! xx
665055
YES.  My best friend of about 6 years once dated a girl I couldn't STAND.  (Being female myself, I thought my best friend deserved someone better than her.)  They eventually broke up, and all he could talk about for the next year and a half was how much she hurt him.  I was so tempted to tell him that I never liked her anyway, but I didn't, because I knew if I did, it would cause a rift in our friendship.  It's been awhile since they broke up, and he hasn't had anyone serious since, but I still feel better knowing that I've never said anything hurtful.
399742
He told you how he felt. You cant change or control him and thats what your trying to do. He was honest with you cuz you asked him to be. Theres nothing more to it, you are now broken up and have been so theres no more relationship. He doesnt have to answer to you for anything. He has every right to have a date if he wants just as you do. You are trying to control something beyond the break up and all that will do is prolong any hurt for YOU, not him. Move on and forget the friends thing for now. Maybe down the road but now you need to let go of it all.
506852
Wow, this is a tough issue.I just want to thank you first of all for this oppritunity. I want to congradulate you for going 2 1/2 to three years. Your relationship has lasted more then most marriages. \nNow you said that you lost trust, and I am not clear why you lost trust and then start checking the phone bills, but there must have been a underlining factor that triggered your lost trust. It could be the way of communication or time comittments with one another have changed. Items along those lines with past experence lead to this dis trust.\nI don't know your boy friend, but something tell me thatthere is a reason why he calls this female friend. evidentally she is giving somethins he needs that he is not getting from you. You mentioned that he communicates with the other woman about collage classes and the foot ball team. Does he talk about these things to you? If he does then he is hiding somthing, if not, then this is somthing that the other woman is providing.\nIt sounds like the other woman is interested in your BF. If it was only a friendship, she would be concerned about how he is relating to you.\nAltimatums is not good. Everyone looses in those cases. What you should do is communicate with your bf that you have no problem with the other woman, but OYou would feel more secure if you were included with these talks about foot ball and school. Invite the other woman over and go have coffee with them in your company showing that you and your bf are a comitted couple. If your bf is willing to comply with that then work from there and keep him. He should always make you his number one priority. You are his BEST friend. Everyone else is second. You have 3 years invested in this relationship, which is a huge investment, because you can not buy back time. \nAlso, always brag about your bf to everyone you two know Guys love that Mention good deed and attributes. Just don't over do it.\nIf and/or when things work oiut. You are going to have to forget the past and move on. Never mention the past  aginst anyone you love and they should practice the same to you, and everything will be Great, in a AWESOME kind of way. take care, Bye
224968
Wow! All that happened in a week? It sounds like he's just as confused as you are. Most people don't hang out with somebody they just dumped. How can you be cheating on somebody that you don't have a relationship with? I think you need to wait a week or two to see how it goes. It sounds like the first few steps toward a friendship. It doesn't go easy when both parties are insecure. Just remember as the girl you are the prize he has to win over not the other way around.
121452
I think what you did was within your right.  You talked to your bf and he said that he talked to her about it and it didn't stop.  I don't want you to not trust your bf but there is a chance that he never said anything to her.  I had a similar situation where my ex-bf's ex-gf kept calling all the time for advice.  I realize they were just friends but she would call at all hours of the night becuase she had a fight with her current bf.  I talked to my ex about this and he said he would talk to her.  One night she called around 3:30 and I picked up the phone.  I told her that I wasn't happy about her calling this late and my bf had already talked to her about this.  She told me that he hadn't said anything to her at all.  So with that long story ;) that was my point there is a chance he didn't tell her that you had a problem with it all.
656424
In my opinion, this sounds strange to me. Maybe her boyfriend said something to her about you after you and your fiancee' left that night. Since you just met this couple awhile back, he may be using you as an excuse to break up with her. Or he may have found you very attractive and keeps telling her that. That would make any woman upset. Whatever the case, she is mad for something her boyfriend said, not what you had said. For the dirty looks, and she tells you to go find a hobby. The man had something to do with this. If it happened to me, I would go on with my life. I don't need friends like that to ruin things for me.
158449
From what you described, I'm 99.9% positive that he has feelings for you. His problem is that he can't make a decision for himself. He's sending you quite a few signals. He's waiting for you to make the first move before breaking it off with his current girlfriend. He's insecure. He doesn't want to be alone. Question is, do you have feelings for him? Do you want to be with a guy that insecure? Remember, the relationship will change once everything is out in the open. Which is more important to you? The friendship or the relationship?
368179
Some guys get into this mode that they "forget" their friends for a while when they meet a girl they really like. He may grow out of it. However I think you should talk to him and tell him you still want to be friends, and if possible talk to her alone and see if she really "hates" you, or is possibly jealous of your history with her boyfriend. If she isn't, have her suggest to your friend that they and you and your boyfriend go out together some time.
184623
Just because things went wrong with his relationship with your friend doesnt mean it wont work out for you and him.  SHE could just be telling u things to make u not trust him so you dont go out with him.  NEVER EVER listen to other people!  always go on your own judgement and what he tells u himself!  She was all moddy because she is still hurting  from the break up.  So of course she will be moody and a little upset for awhile.  I say things could work for u and him as long as u stop listening to other people and judge him for himself!  Good luck to u
168833
I had that experience before - but I broke up with that bf for a very weighty reason, so, even if he continued his pursuit supposedly "in the name of friendship," I didn't give in.  It took out the complications.  Don't sweat it.  :)
270491
been there husband was the same way...I was 15 when we were together and I slept with his best friend...we went our separate ways for about 10 years got back together and did not trust me at all..I was only 15 and he kept bringing it up 17 years later. He would get really upset if I wanted to go out with my friends, and alcohol was like poison to him he would always go back into the past about all the bullshit and he would start fights over the stupidist things...any way to make a long story short I divorced him in january
356267
Why are you letting this guy make you crazy?  Why is he the one making all of the decisions?  You're smart, if a girlfriend of yours just told you what you've told us, what would you say to her???  Maybe it's time to move on...
536034
My boyfriend is my best friend.  We have been together for 3 years now and I am so comfortable around him.  He is always willing to listen to me when I've had a bad day and can always make me feel better.  He is kind, thoughtful, and always puts his family and friends before himself.  I love him so much. : )