Do you have any advice for me?  I am really ambitious but naive and insecure.
134814
Hi,\nCongratulations on your promotion - you wouldn't have gotten it if they didn't think you deserved it.\n\nThere is this technique in counseling we refer to as, "Fake it 'til you make it."  In your situation, I think that basically means to still be yourself of course, but be your confident, professional self.  Gradually you will view yourself this way and so will others (others probably already do).  The feelings that you are having happen to most people when they move up in their careers or are put in new social situations.  Don't stress.  Think of it as an adventure.  You will be GREAT :)\n\nTake care...
252723
Figure out what your problem is. Realize your problem isn’t who you are, it’s what you have used to protect your physical and emotional well being. It’s hiding who you are: a beautiful human being, a wonderful source of awareness, knowledge, creativity, love and joy. If you practice self-esteem based on the faith that this is who you really are, then your problem will dissolve. \nFigure out who you are. Take self-evaluation quizzes. Learn as much as you can about who you are and why you think and feel the way you do. Self-knowledge is a key to success. \nDecide what you can and can’t control. Change and act on the things that are in your control and release the things that are out of your control. \nAccept responsibility. Finding self-confidence requires accepting responsibility for your own happiness, and recognizing that you are a product not only of your genetic code and your environment, but of the choices you make. Begin your day with the words "I am responsible." \nMake anxiety your ally. Write down your worries for 30 days. Nagging concerns that loom so large in your imagination lose their power on paper. Amazingly, after writing them down the anxieties begin to fade. \nRecognize that mistakes are opportunities. Keep the setback in perspective. Most mistakes are not personal tragedies; rather they are problems you now have the opportunity to solve. "Success," is often a string of failed attempts to get it right. \nCompete to improve yourself not to beat someone else. \nBe ambitious. When setting goals, remember that you are distinct from what you have and what you seem to be. If you let others define who you are, you may not find happiness. Pursue your own dreams -- not your parent’s, mate’s, or your best friend’s. \nBe brave and take risks. Don’t be afraid of mistakes. Risk-taking builds confidence. When considering any risk: define a clear goal. Review the positive, practical and potential losses. Determine whether the risk is one of trust, identity or something larger. When you focus on risks that have a larger purpose, you can’t go wrong. Even if the risk doesn’t turn out as you hoped it would, you will gain from it. Act. Take a risk. Be confident -- you have earned it. \nThink and speak positively. If you hear a compliment or positive statement about someone you know pass that compliment on to them. An Arabian proverb puts it neatly: Blessed is he who speaks a kindness; thrice blessed he who repeats it. \nLearn something new. Create a new hobby. Increase your vocabulary one word a week. Take on a new physical challenge or activity. \nSpend time investing in your personal growth. This enables joy to flourish amid the fears and difficulties of life. Read self-help books and act on the knowledge. \nDecisions: the next time you ponder a decision, think of everything that could go right and say to yourself, "What do I have to lose, really? \nSmile and be courteous. Use the words please and thank you consistently. \nBe aware of media’s messages. Their goal is to make you feel bad about yourself so you will buy what they are selling. \nKeep good company. Positive feeds positive and negative breeds negative. If you choose to be around positive people you in turn will become more positive. \nReward yourself. Give yourself and others positive rewards for being and doing well. \nDon’t accept messages that damage your own self-esteem. It is much easier to improve or change your behavior when you believe you are lovable and capable. \nBe aware of the different messages that you hear in your head and remember to turn up the volume on the messages that contribute to your positive self-esteem and to turn down the volume on any message that encourages you to think negatively about your worth or ability. \nYou can improve the quality of messages you have in your head about being lovable and capable. Use "how to" statements in your head and take action on the answers you rece
369733
Do you belive in yourself??\n\nDo you have the ability to work hard? Got the control over u'r mind and body?\n\nLive with u'r eyes, ears & mind open. U can find a lot of partime jobs aroun u. Manage u'r time and work. Engage in events.\n\nAnd about saving: Start a bank account and dn't keep atm card with u. Dn't spend money for gals.. else find those kinda gals who dosen't take u for money!\n\nLive ur life in a way that u njoy every moment of it!!
625277
Well it seems to me that you are an insecure person and you suround yourself with people who are equally insecure as yourself.  Because to you it's easy that way.  It's easy to live unchallenged and it's easier for you to just take what is offered.  When you don't like a situation that you are in you have to figure out how your gonna change it.  The first step is too stop taking advantage of other ppl especially if they let you because they are just as lost as you are and you will surely never find your way.  The next step is to work on being comfortable with yourself.  You have to be by yourself to do that. I would suggest that you stop dating or having any type of romantic relationship because nobody will ever be able to appreciate you if you don't even appreciate yourself. And then , after all that is worked out, you find a good secure, honest, independent woman, that isn't gonna let you fall back into your usual routine.  After that i can't say it will all be wonderful, but at least you know its something that you want instead of something that's just there. Godd luck!
629182
Babe, I would have loved to help u out and believe me I almost did. But then It struck me that if u get used to others helping u out, u will become a big ZERO in your life.\nMy sincere advice - try and make up some sentences. U might make a few mistakes  but then that's how u learn.  \n\nAll The best!!!
22344
remember that life is short and you dont want to grow old asking yourself, 'what if?' and telling yourself 'if only'. Your greatest mistake would be the risk that you didnt take. Believe in yourself and your capabilities, have a positive attitude toward life. Take everything one step at a time, do not be afraid to live life to the fullest for it is fickle and it can be taken away from you anytime. Just always believe in yourself
329807
Tiffany I know it is difficult having to put up with that treatment every day.  Work on cultivating who you are inside and ignore them. It will not be easy but in the long run you will be better off for it. Believe in yourself and know that within yourself you are so much better than whatever "they" say.
352756
I think the more insecure you are the worse things will become. You obviously have something that captivates him. Be happy with yourself or you will be unhappy. Trust him, give him a chance. Believe that he cares for you only. Confidence goes a long way with men. Good luck!
236706
grow some balls its now or never man. dont let your insecurity keep you from what could be the greatest thing in your life.
241442
learn to follow ur heart, be a good human being agreed wealth is somthing but it is not everything. u need someone strong to back ur dreams and help u cope with failures. Beacuse the more the no of failures, the more succsesfull u will be all the best
198869
always remember that the world is not yours .\nwe are all here on bought time .but do enjoy your\nyoung years.do it responsibly  the world is cruel\nand there is not any room for mistakes.be a good \nexample it will pay off !
60569
yeah i understand but there is so many things you still want to be able to acomplish and you need to be strong to do those goals you have in mind you know?....and well nothing should get on your way NOTIHNG!you are verry valubel and important so look at the better and bigger things in life thats what i do when i feel down.
577095
Being intelligent has nothing to do with your feelings.  You are a person just like they are.  They verbally abuse you and you have to defend yourself.  Most likely you may be too nice and caring, so they take advantage of that.  In fact, it sounds more like they are jealous that you are smarter than them. If you let them continue this, you will develop a low self esteem and then think then allow others to do the same.  Start speaking up for yourself. If they say something to hurt your feelings tell them exactly what it is that they said to hurt your feelings and to stop. Also, you can't change them, but you can protect yourself by limiting the amount of time you spend with them.  Make some new friends who respect you as a person; believe me there are some out there.  And don't forget to spend some quality time with yourself. A good way to start is to start chatting with some positive people and then move to meeting some.  If you keep going in the direction you are, you'll be the one continuing to hurt, and they will be just fine.  Remember to love yourself and do things for yourself.  There is no one in this world worth taking a physical or verbal abuse from.  I hope this help, but remember you have to make a change for the better and for YOURSELF.  LOVE YOURSELF. TAKE CARE.
413658
I think you are a wise and smart person. first if you told your friends your problems they might try to solve them, and they can't only you can. As for your dream man, he is out there you just have to be in the right places, so I would suggest you volunteer in areas that he might be. eg, hospital(intern) library(Teacher, law student) do you see what I mean. If you have a dream, then you NEED a plan. and you are smart enough to have one and follow it through, good luck and have fun
667395
Sounds like you got it down. Ditch the insecure tramps. There's a reason they're insecure and flip a sh.it every time you look at someone else - They're lookin' too. She just better be at least half as good as me when I catch my ol' man lookin ;)
371687
yikes. U sound exactly like me. \nI know how hard it is when u try ur best, and u actually think ur right, but then later u find out ur wrong or u failed at it. Disapointment will always be there, but u must give only a limited time. Dont let the disappointment take all ur time, then u would be sulking at it all the time, thus adding more to ur failure problem. Dont be hard on urself, accept that u make more mistakes or that u fail. U will be a better man that way. And just keep trying ur best. U will suceed.\nAs far as remembering goes, well u cant really change that. I have tried alot. If u really forget imp things, then keep a note on ur mobile or a notepad so u dont forget future imp things. If u fail in remembering the past like i do also, then maybe keep a dairy of imp things that happen in ur life. U can reflect back on it anytime.\nAbout ur gf problem, dont push yourself to get one. Looks isnt everything, its about how u are. Be decent and sincere. U are too shy becuase u are trying to get a girlfriend. Just keep it in ur head, that u can make normal firends.I mean there is no harm is just saying a 'hi', or asking something else. Thats how u can start of a friendship. And then, u can become more than friends with time. But never push it. Be simple in what u do and straight foward.\nAnd try to control ur temper. When u do get a gf, ur temper must not come in the way. It has caused alot of trouble in my relation. try ur best to be concious of when u might be getting angry, and avoid it then, try to do something else to calm u down.  Be more self aware of it. This has helped me alot.\nI know u would like to be alone. But give it time. Try to be friendly with people and try to take part in extra activites, or normal ones  if u dont. \nHope this helped. relax ok, u are a normal person. Just try to control ur emotions and try to look foward to things. cheers!
648795
I am engaged to a wonderful man who had the same problem growing up.  He has always said that the best thing he could do under those circumstances was be himself, and although it was not always easy, things always managed to work out for the best in the long run.  I am certain you probably have heard that before and it was probably not what you wanted to hear, but it's the truth.  Best of luck to you!  Hope it works out!