We met on the net 3 1/2 yrs ago. I'm from the US he's from the UK. We've flown a total of 5 times between us to see each other and we are totally comfortable with each other from day 1. We laugh a lot, rarely argue, understand one another, accept one anothers faults and strengths.  The sex is quite fun as well.  \n  The trouble is since we are citizens of different countries, it's hard to stay together for more than 3 months at a time and it gets quite expensive with flights, so we're thinking of getting married.  \n   But again, I don't feel like we're "in love". I smile when I see his picture, and I feel happy when we talk on the phone, and he says he misses me (i just came back from the UK last week)  We've both been married before and had other relationships that ended badly, so both of us are still slightly gun shy.  Am I (we) over analizing here, or what???
121865
Here's the old mystical I Love Vs. In Love question again. If you Love him and Respect him, ask yourself what would be differant if you where "IN LOVE" with him? You have already stated "we are totally comfortable with each other from day 1. We laugh a lot, rarely argue, understand one another, accept one anothers faults and strengths. The sex is quite fun as well." How else would you quantify a good relationship? Then ask yourself the real tuff question, could you live in England? Are your skills that transportable? Could he live here? Are his skills that transportable?
321471
Ask yourself why is it he is so in a rush to get married is he an illegal immigrant, does he want you for your money, what because that is kinda strange to me to.\n\nLook marriage is a committment for life a vow that should be cherished between two people until the day each die you need to sit and make sure this is the right man for you because if he loved you their would be no reason for him to just run off and want to get married he is in some kind of trouble.\n\nI am quite sure you want a nice big wedding and your family their if you run off what is your family going to say and how are you going to feel so take a minute and think about it and question him if you need to
417872
me and my guy was online and i read him you question..this is da answer he gave me ....\n\n"We almost are in the same situation as you..I'm gonna go to another country for 4 years for my higher studies and she will only see me few times a year.. the thing is this is not as difficult as it seems.. dear sis you are not the first one to go through this.. there are loads of people who came through this or if not you have us... even we were pretty much worried in the first place as what to do... but let me give an advice to you... don't let go... just hold on...we are going to have a harder time than you even... cos it's a way longer period and we are both in seperate other countries which is not our mothercountry... so sister the distance doesn't matter...the only thing you have to do is to have a long distance dedication..... the key thing is to keep in touch as much as ppossible... not seeing your guy is tough... i know... but with time you may be able to adapt to that... just keep him in your heart..i'm just saying.. "so close no matter how far, couldn't be much more from the heart, forever trusting who we are , and nothing else matters.." goodluck sister... this will be posted by my girl who's in a country so far away while i'm writing this...\n\nhy im his gal hear ..darling  im teling u pls go ahead i dont regreat..taking the chance caz my guy is da best no matter how far he is his jus near my heart..and his all mine ..dont b scard i ws scrad my self....belive me ...i didnt know wht to do but jus go aead ..its better dan nt knwing wht u 2 wil end up with.
324183
i'm now engaged to the most wonderful guy in the world after starting as online friends who eventually fell for each other. he came to visit me after his stint in iraq and after staying with me for about 3 weeks, he proposed. love happens. in the weirdest of circumstances. as long as you're careful, i still think hooking up with someone online is a lot better than meeting someone at a bar. the distance took it's toll and we separated several times. But prayers do work. If you pray enough and both of you are as committed to the relationship, Miracles DO happen. Good luck to you!
525014
6 years is a pretty long enough time to know whether or not you want to marry someone. I have observed from numerous relationships that guys keep some women dangling; and then they will meet one particular female that they just know right away that she won't be allowed to get away. I think you two need to have a real heart to heart talk, but in person. Long distance relationships are extremely difficult, especially being faithful; emotionally and physically. Be honest, tell each other how you feel.  I wonder if you guys seriously voiced your goals in the begining of your relationship. I'm guessing that you didn't expect to be waiting this long. Don't be afraid of speaking candidly, this is obviously making you uncomfortable as well. Life is way too short. Maybe there is some fear on his part that he hasn't expressed to you, something he thinks he would like to achieve before he settles down. It's good to have plans, but sticking to the exact order of those plans can cause you to miss out on some really great life altering blessings.  Ask him if something happened to you and caused you to not be available to him , if he would regret not taking that step to marriage. Sometimes we don't realize what we have until we no longer have it. Listen to his verbal and non-verbal responses. If you still don't feel confident and satisfied with the decision made you may end up waiting even longer. Are you willing to put your life on hold for someone who may just not be mature enough for that type of commitment any time soon?
516941
It would be great if that "honeymoon" period would last forever :) I know I have been disappointed before when the calls and invitations slow down.\n\nIt is normal. He was probably getting to know you at first. Now, y'all are running out of new and interesting topics. If things are still good when you do talk to or see each other, then you shouldn't worry about it too much. If he keeps on calling and/or seeing you on a daily basis, it will probably eventually get boring for both of you. ... Unless your daily lives are full of extreme and exciting activities. \n\nMy advice to you if there are future relationships with other guys... Try not to make yourself quite as available. I use to think that it was silly to pretend that you are busy when you aren't really, but it does  help it take longer to get to the point where you are now. ... Hanging out with a guy 2 or 3 times a week and talking to him maybe 4 days a week should be plenty at first. Even though I know it is tempting to try for all you can get! \n\nAs far as how to talk to him about it, you will have to play that one by ear. You may start by hinting to him how much you enjoyed those daily talks. You could tell him it would be sweet to occasionally get a quick call to just say "hi." If he doesn't take the hint, try briefly calling him once a day or every other day, just to let him know that you're thinking of him. If this doesn't work out, then you may have to just come right out and ask if he likes how things are going or if he thinks the two of you need to back off a bit.
492542
he is being very cool, it sounds to me he likes the thrill of the chase, if i was you i would take a step back for now, which i know is difficult and try to think 'what will be will be' And you are probably still fragile after the end of your previous relationship so some 'you' time might be a good idea then you may be able to think a little clearer.  Hope you get it all sorted out
277482
I think it is time to Chirp or get off the branch.  My wife and I had been dating for a while, I really loved her but did not ask her to get married.  She finally gave me a date by which to chirp or to get off the branch.  I chirped and it has been the best thing I ever did.  We have been married for many years and are more in love today then ever.  I would openly discuss your concerns with him and then let him know that you need commitment by say June 30.  If he doesn't make the commitment, move on to someone that truly loves you and someone that will make that commitment.  Too often, we stick with someone that we know is not right for us and then the years go by.  After it is too late, we realize that life is passing us by and we are in a relationship that is going nowhere.  I think people need to list the things that they want in a relationship/mate and then if after a few months they do stack up, they need to move on.  People really don't change much with time--if it doesnt feel right at first it probably wont get any better with time.   Good Luck!
148239
Iam from Germany and had some long-distance relationships over there...if it matches distance does not matter at all..that waiting time makes the relationship even stronger...but after visiting back and forth you should think about moving together ot getting married sooner or later...so one of them will have to move....if the Love is not strong enough the problem wil be solved by itself.
43801
I don't think there's any rush. While he goes to Iraq, wait for him, and see if your feelings change for him. If you still love him when he comes back, even though your love has been tested by the separation, you are one lucky person. Don't feel that you have to get married immediatly. Wait until you're atleast 20, and then get married. Don't you want to stand on your own two feet for a while before settling down? Either way, good luck.
290383
5 years, on the net???? why havent u closed the gap? i met my BF online over a year ago, but we are getting engaged and i will be moving to the states at the end of the year to be with him. what i mean is, y are u so surprised and upset that it's over? LD relationships dont work longterm if there is no end to the distance in sight.
169360
Hun you've only been with him for 6 months. It's a good thing that he doesn't want to rush things. It took me and my fiance a year and a half before we said the magic words "I LOVE YOU". Now we've been together for almost five years and are about to have two kids. Stick it out. It was worth it for me. Good luck and if you need someone to talk to, my email is flower_child69420@yahoo.com
485595
Long distance relationships are hard to maintain. I don't think there is a specific length of time you should wait because I don't believe you should wait at all. It sounds like you need to just live your life and not count on this fellow being "the one." Like my Ma used to say-"there are a lot of fish in the sea". If it is meant to work out things will progress but why not get to know someone who lives close. There is a lot to say for building a relationship based on spending time together doing things not just talking or e-mailing each other. LOL
117037
Keep the communication lines open.  I know it's difficult maintaining a long distance relationship.  My first long distance relationship didn't work.  My second one did.  I married the second one and 3 years later, we're still very much in love and happy.  Don't forget to pray.  Put God first in your lives.  The rest will follow.  God Bless!  I hope your relationship will last forever.
290640
The bold thing to do, of course, would be to suggest marriage, if that's how you feel.  That's a strong commitment.\n\nIt sounds like he is leery of getting into a long distance relationship.  I'm not clear if you are moving or he is, but in either case, the best way for that kind of relationship to work is for it to be a temporary distance.  If he is causing the distance, you'll have to find a way to tell him you'll be short distance again too.  \n\nYou might consider writing a letter, reviewing your good and bad times, and then let him know you can't see going through any more good and bad times without him to see you through.  Put it all in perspective for him.\n\nGood luck!
206747
I managed to keep a ralationship alive between Australia and uk via email, letters and phone calls, (\nOver the space of 3 months i spent the equivalent of $2000 US dollars on phone calls) .....I won't lie, it is Bl**dy hard work, bot worth it. I've now been very very happily married to that person for 2 years.\n\nYou have to be honest and open in any conversation, and you have to tell each other EVERYTHING!!!!! ( and I mean everything, bad things too!)\n\nIf it's right you'll know within weeks of being apart. If he's worth fighting and suffering for, give it everything.  \n\nI guess if you are just leaving school you are still in your teens, i'm in my mid 30's, there's a huge world out there to discover, live for now, enjoy yourself and follow your heart!\n\nGood Luck
626391
Does he feel the same way?  If so, try the long distance relationship (via phone, email, ect).  Let your relationship take one day at a time and see what develops.  Don't rush into anything, let it take its course.  Friendship make the best relationships and I know that from personal experience.