I'm a quiet guy by nature and by my family education.\nNow, I'm grow up and realize that being quiet is not good at all.  It's not good to find significant other, friends, and jobs.  I want to be talkative and sociable person.  How can I learn and change my personality?  Any suggestions, ideas?\nThank  you.
124033
Talk about anything and everything to Everyone you come across, small talk or whatever, they are just like you(human). Most people are sociable and will talk back and make conversation, if they don't, then its their problem. Practice. Keep Trying. good luck.\n\nI Agree With Superscribe below me. " The book How to win friends and influence people, by Dale Carnegie, would be a good start." It's a Really Great Book.
511736
I have the same problem, but I try to limit talking to anyone online though because thats just me. I know a lot of people tell me once you get out of high school you "break out of that shell". \n\nI am going to get a job which requires customer service and social skills though, I think if I know I have to, I'll be able to build the skill of talking a lot.\n\nIf you mumble, or stutter, or stumble on the words when you talk to people just think before you say something because I know when I try to say something really fast and then I forget I always stumble on the words lol.\n\nHope this helps :)
523753
Maybe you've changed and haven't noticed it! Social skills and confidence come slowly but they work fast.\nThe other alternative is that a lot of girls don't realise who the really great guys are until they're in their twenties (or later) - so suddenly the jackass captain of the football team isn't looking quite so great anymore, and you begin to notice the quiet guy and think how cool he is after all.\nAs long as you don't abuse it by being an asshole it will probably last.\nEnjoy it!
509310
I think I would make a plan of my own since it sounds like you will need one anyway.  In the meantime, don't dwell on it.  Then when it comes up, there will be no need for you to fumble around, you will already have a plan and you can just tell them what it is.   Don't set yourself up to be out of a place to stay or to be humiliated.  I am an introvert as well and we have to look out for ourselves instead of following the crowd like extroverts do.  But it makes us more independant, huh?
56321
You are probably trying too hard to impress.  Be yourself and your true personality will show.  Ultimately, you want to be with people that accept you for who you are, otherwise you will need to "put on an act" everytime you are around them.\n\nOne way to take the edge off your personality, is to join a group like toastmasters or take a night class that deals with public speaking or even "acting", improv, or similar.  You'll be amazed to find that when you are around others who are relaxed, it rubs off.  \n\nIn the end...relax, be yourself and don't be so hard on yourself.  Everyone is human.
403230
i'm really quiet too.  i don't think other people think quiet people are annoying, i think they get offended when someone dosn't talk to them.  i think to get yourself more social you could think of people that you would want to be friends with and start by nicely smiling at them and sometimes they will start a conversation with you and you can choose if you want to be their friend and if they don't start a conversation with you, you could just say hi and see if they answer.
60885
I don't understand the bit about fear that he'll get better, but look at it this way:  you seem like an outgoing talkative type and that makes you a good match for a quiet, introverted guy.  He doesn't have to strain himself to keep up the conversation, and you're probably entertaining to be around.  And you like having someone listen to you.  Two people who both want to talk a lot can wear each other out.  So opposites attracted, and it works for the most part.  It's no big surprise that--guess what--you're different.  Not every man is like your partner--some will talk your ear off and others are puppy dogs.\n\nIt's not a matter of being too affectionate.  If you want more sharing you might have to adapt to his style, and he might have to practice at it.  Try drawing him out, with follow-up questions, and realize that quiet types need time to think through an answer before they say much; if they feel rushed they resort to short answers, or aimless rambling.  \n\nThere's an interesting book called "You Don't Understand Me" that talks about the different ways men and women communicate.  Maybe that would be helpful.
545396
i sometimes feel this way. i don't feel like I am that shy of a person, but I guess other people think I am very shy. and then when boys I like tell me to be myself and say what I want, I get flustered and say things like "i don't know" even though I have a full journal of stuff I would love to tell them. I don't know why it is so hard for me to speak up in certain social situations. I have things to say, and sometimes I start talking, but then like you said, the more aggressive/louder person takes the conversation over. I guess you and I both just have to try harder to speak our minds and not think so much about what other people will think. Easier said than done though... I hate being shy and I don't know how to get rid of it. and it certainly causes problems in meeting men. so u aren't the only one out there with this issue
235856
Sounds like you spend all your time studying and no time for fun. Let me give you a little tip, when I was a recruiter, we used to look skeptically on the individuals who listed 4.0 on their resume.  Why?  Because 99.9% of the time they had no social skills.  The types of jobs we were interviewing for, social skills was a big part of it.  It's great to be smart but you don't have to be the smartest.  Have a little fun.  Maybe coming from a poor background drove you to be the best.  But, don't let that drive to do well drive you right into the ground.
322158
Yeah...it's hard to be outgoing when people already assume you're going to be shy. I was voted Most Shy when I was a senior in high school, but I marched over to the yearbook room and told them flat out that I didn't want it and they could give it to the runner up. Because, despite what the snobby popular kids who decide these things thought, I was past my shy era by then. I'd grown out of it.\n\nI HAD always been shy. In middle school and early high school, I was just quiet and I didn't like being the center of attention. I din't know who I was yet, I guess, and I just never had the confidence. I didn't think I was interesting enough to have people like me.\n\nWhen I was about 15 or 16, I suddenly came to the realization of what I wanted to go to college for (to be a game warden...an outdoor cop) and that changed everything. I think having a really strong interest like that made me come out of my shell. Maybe it was the fact that I was interested in telling everyone about it that did it. And it might have been Lord of the Rings...because I became really obsessed with it about then.......perhaps having those two obsessions just made me so eager to talk about them that I quit being shy. I'm not sure.....anyway, I'd start talking up in class more, and I'd have debates with people where before I'd just let them win.\n\nI'm not sure how this pertains to you...I guess the way to get over being shy is NOT by doing some outrageous stunt. That'll make people notice you, perhaps, but that's affecting THEM, not you. It makes them see you, but doesn't make YOU more outgoing. Instead, try to change yourself, not them. Smile at EVERYONE. Make eye contact with people, and say hello and smile at everyone you see. Speak up in class, and say things to people you don't even know. Like, if youre walking down the hallway and you see someone with cool shoes or something, tell them as you walk past, "Hey, cool shoes!" You don't have to extend the conversation...it's just a way of talking to more people. The more people you verbalize with, the better. If it helps, you can do something that makes you stand out, but without being obnoxious. Like...wear brighter colors so that you're more noticeable. Maybe wear bright blue socks everyday, so that people actually have something to relate with you. Having people think of you as, "That person with the socks" is better than them ignoring you completely.\n\nAnd the number one point: confidence. Stop worrying about what THEY think, instead realize that you're your own person, and they should like you for that. Learn to LAUGH. When people see that you laughing and smiling, they'll see that you're not shy anymore. And don't forgetm it's OK to be wierd. You're defined by what makes you different.\n\nGood luck!
275239
You get over your shyness by, if necessary, making yourself talk to someone. I know it's not easy. I'm shy too. But I MAKE myself talk to people and when conversation is started, then the next logical step is dating. Smile, and be friendly to men where you go....grocery store, gas station, post office, etc. There are a lot of good, decent guys out there, and one of them is waiting for a nice Lady like you. Good Luck!
426489
Urs is a typical problem. If u dont mind, Il suggest u 1 thing. Consult a Psychiartist and get solution to ur problem. It will definitely help u. If u dont like the above suggestion, then I can suggest u a few things. First of all observe all types of conversations around u and get an idea how the people are talking (If they are ur friends or relatives, its better). Just start interacting with people by saying hi, how r u? How is ur work going on? For the people whom u dont have any conversation, just smile and say how r u? It forms a good impression to that person on u. At the same time dont talk unnecessary matters and dont make kidding. Just ask abt their future plans and a best one is u can adopt flattery also, but in a decent way. Be positive & appear positive in every word u speak. Ur postures and gestures should be good while ur speaking and u should be bold and confident enough. I think this would definitely help out u.\n\nIf u also think like that vote me as best. All the Best.
302908
just be yourself what u want to be like and some people think acting snobby and taking their as s like big time jerks is really cool and if you are not like that then it is very good.coz then u are not a looser.
524166
i was like u wen i was at ur age til now, i think, dat im 24 already. i couldn't tell a story longer than 2 sentences. and it disgusts me coz i cudnt express my self. i cant say its due to stress... but maybe u hav to improve ur social interaction. for now, u need to hav a keen observation of the society when ur goin out with ur frends. pick some ideas that u think wil help u improve ur speech and communication. and, read more books... answer som question, orally. formulate ur answer into words. thru dat i assure u it cud help u a lot. it did to me...gudluck sis!
172195
smile, be a good listener, don't get into peoples personal space, have empathy, don't spread gossip, be genuine, do not put on airs. a few  examples that will help.\ntake your worst personality trait and replace it with a good personality trait.
372245
Misery,\nI'm also very introverted, but I'm really a very nice person. The only problem I ever have is people think that I'm unfriendly, and it's just not true. When they get to know me they are always so surprised how nice I am. I have tried everything to change, but I'm just a real quiet and layed back kind of person. Also I'm very shy and I guess that goes along with being introverted.\nTDCWH
357330
You break a introvert with a 2x4!!  Come on! if you dont being around people (or dislike people all together), then why are you so compelled to fall in line with peole that are not like you?  Your confidence has little to do with you wanting to mingle. Trust me, had I a real choice in the matter, I would live so  far in the wilderness that it would take a plane to get to work every day if I had the choice, but its my JOB to interact with people. when the day is done, i want to be left the f... alone!! Take up a hobby that you can do alone yet meet others, like fishing, biking or mountian climbing. \nJoin a Sci fi fan club or RPG group or something. And if you do, make sure its OFFLINE! Stop hiding behind your monitors screen, that'll help a great deal.\n\n There has to be a row of coming of age movies made over the past 50 years that cover the topic of some geeky kid doing all he or she can to mingle with the "in" crowd... rent, look and learn.Dont quit being who you are for the sake of being a part of the crowd.