Very long story short... I have been in love with a girl for about 3 yrs... im 20. even though we never worked out back in HS, I still stuck by her side as one of her best friends. She means the world to me as a friend alone. \n\nshes has been with someone for over 2yrs and living together. their relationship was always good but her gf was still always inlove with someone else even tho she loved her. recently, few months back they broke up becuz her gf was treating her like shit and thankfully the one i love got over it, yet they got back together mainly becuz they still live together. and they arnt happy, id say they are just stuck...\n\nthen, we got closer, spending more time together.. before u know it we slept together. so she basiclly cheated on her gf.. i thought it was just a one nighter, turns out feelings that have been blossoming finally surfaced for the both of us.. but shes really confused and what to do and where to move who to be with. i dont want to lose her, or this chance.
129123
It is not your choice to make, and right now is not the time to try to keep her from going back to her first girlfriend.  She will decide without any pressure from you.  You can only alienate her by pressing the matter.\n\nKick back, and let her have the time she needs to make the inevitable decision.  \n\nThis matter will resolve itself if you just leave it alone to do it.
159194
well i was once in that situation . and it was hard i guess what I'm saying is....do what u think is best and if u feel that your going to think about your ex all  night if u go out with that other girl it wont be fun. and i hope u know that time heals everything. maybe going out with the new girl would be fun and maybe your heart wont be so broken. well good luck
88146
You obviously love her.  Most people love their friends.  But whether you're "in love" with her... well, you'll know when you are, it will be obvious.  If you don't know, then you probably aren't in love.  But, the thing is, it's really easy to fall in love with someone that's already a friend.  So if you're willing and you want to see if she's willing, to move to "another stage of love," then just go for it.  How you go for it is up to you though.
241522
THIS IS NOT AN EASY SUBJECT!! FIRST HE NEEDS TO ASK HISSELF WHAT HE WANTS FROM HER A FRIEND OR A GF! CAUSE ONCE YOU CROSS THAT LINE ITS HARD TO GO BACK. AND HE DOESNT NEED TO FORGET ABOUT THE GF HE HAS RIGHT NOW. WHAT IF HE LOSES HER AN THE OTHER GIRL DOESNT HAVE THE SAME FEELINGS FOR HIM. BE CAREFUL IF YOU ARE GIVING THIS PERSON ADVICE. SOMEONE COULD GET HURT!!!
113283
What's really worth it for U?? It seems that U really care about friendship, more than U care to go out with this girl and to have a gf, maybe U just need to put your eyes in some other girl, there are many girls out there, pretty, nice and single or withou bf.\nIf she took this guy as her bf and didn't pick U up, maybe she just want your friendship.\nTry to focus on other girls, continue being friends with she and his bf.
626654
Ask your friend. I know you said ex-bestfriend but you r still friends right? If you arent then I would think you can go ahead and pursue her but if you are still friends then talk to your friend and find out how he feels about it first. Remember, friends sometimes last a lot longer than gf/bf relationships.
546462
Bad place to go ESPECIALLY so soon after he broke up with her. One - she's your best friends ex. There is a reason he broke up with her and you probably don't want to subject yourself to the same just for a little sex.\n\nAlso think about if you did start dating her - do you really think your friend is going to want her hanging out with the both of you or with you guys as a couple? \n\nI understand he's not so broken up about it, but they are still an ex-couple -\n\nMy vote is don't do it.\n\nMiss Cris\nhttp://lendinganear.wordpress.com
183086
i tried staying friends with my ex. Seems whenever he was alone then I was OK but whenever he met someone then I was not. If you still love her then I would suggest not staying friends it is heartbreaking every time they find someone new. Then one day they will decide to marry and they will not want to stay friends.  Better to let go now rather than having heart broke time and time again.
216225
Hey buddy!  There is a difference between loving someone and being in love with someone... make sense?  Sounds like you love her, but may not be in love with her... or simply stated, may not have the romantic feelings that she has for you... it's a tough spot to be in - sorry!  \n\nThere is no easy way to break someone's heart or "let them down"... but you owe it to yourself and her to be honest... and ASAP!  The longer you "pretend" or carry on like you have stronger feelings than what you do, the harder it will be for her... after all, no one likes to live a lie.  Focus on the qualities you like about her and tell her how ya feel.\n\nDon't be surprised if this rocks your relationship as friends... it may even jeopardize any friendship you hope to have (especially if you wait to tell her ya feel).  Trust is a big thing!!!\n\nBest wishes!
119831
this is one ball game u dont want to be playing at. not worth losing a friend over..and if u cant help fallign for her...become her best friend..and see where things go..right now she could use a friend not another guy...and speicllly a friend of her ex!
27278
She was going to cheat on you anyway, you did the right thing.  Take it from someone who went through a similar breakup with someone they thought was truly in love with them - move on.\nThe best thing you can do for yourself is to just move on.  Obviously you will still think about her, but you absolutely, positively cannot call her, write her, ask her friends about her, talk to her parents.  Nothing.  I had always held out hope I could get back together with my ex.  It was my friend who coached me on not having any contact with her.  Now, looking back on things, I realize how much added pain it saved me.  Like your ex, my ex did what she did and nothing could change that.  It was in her and it was in her head and it would have happened sooner or later.  And trying to get her back was not an option.  Not trying to get in touch with her was the best thing I could have done.  \nI just got back into the dating thing after a few weeks.  Sure, there may be a few "rebound" girlfriends, but sooner or later you get into another satisfying relationship and leave the bad memories behind.
586003
"always listen to your heart". The question is not "whay do i do?" but "do you love him?" If yes, then go on for it.  You say fo his soon ex-gf : was friend. Then, what's the problem?!!    Go for it, if you don't try, you may loose sth really great!!!
645262
I think you should truly figure out if she is what you want because no ones heart is a game.  I know you have been through it with her but you have allot of time and a family invested with her.  I also don't think its fare to play with any ones feelings.  I have also been in many relationships but never felt they way I feel when I'm with one person.  I believe true love only comes around once and I will never feel that way again.
343796
i think you should stop calling her. I realize it will be difficult as sounds as though you really care for her but she is playing with your feelings. Sounds like she is out for her and not ready to be in a relationship. A friend of mine just went through something similar. Each time he got hurt more and more.  Guess I would tell her how you feel about what she is doing then if it continues its time to find someone new or accept the fact that is how she is.
411921
I never got that whole if I date him no one can. if you guys are over, and you agreed to see other people then get over it, your not a very good friend if you wont let her have a chance at happiness. I don't see anything wrong with it if she was a good friend, but if she just stared at you and asked you why you were mad, that obviously tells you she's kind of a jerk, she obviously doesn't care about you or your feelings, considering you just told her you were still in love with him, if I started dating my friends ex I would have at least shown that I was sorry for causing any pain, but some thins cant be helped, such as holding back feeling for a guy, dang,...  then I'm sorry but if I were you I would have brought her down. keep in mind though that if you guys are supposed to be together you will and if he wanted to see other people then maybe you deserve better, unless it was your Idea in with case, WHAT ARE YOU BITCHING ABOUT. its not fun but remind yourself of 2 things first of all that she deserves the chance at him, and second of all that you may still have a chance of getting back together with him. I got back together with mine.  Good Enough?
250413
I think your partner is trying to hold on to her old relationship with her friend just, as in your assumption. I also feel that relationship is about compromise and if your girlfriend really loves you she will respect how you feel and cut things off. Even if it is just a "friendship".  I think she needs to cut things off for you relationship to work. She has already betrayed your trust and wants you to standby her while she continues a friendship and your wondering if they are just friends. My advice is that you should tell her that it really hurts you that she wants to remain friends with her ex lover and that it is hurting your relationship . Also if she isn't willing to compromise then maybe you should leave her. It's not fair to you to hang around and wonder if she is going to hurt you again. You need to know she wants to work things out. Go with your instinct and gut feelings and everything will work out.\n\nBest of luck
624055
hi there, this must be a huge dilemma you're facing. i have experienced this before, i'm 19 and probably you would think that i'm too young to comment or give you advice on this but this would be my sincere reply to your question. firstly, is this a mutual feeling? does she love you to the extent as you love her? you mentioned that she loves you as a friend, have you confronted her and made your feelings towards her known? it would be best if you know how she really feels then you can decide on what to do next. if she loves you, and you love her too, and both of you are happy with each other's company- why let go when you can grow and allow a beautiful relationship to blossom? but if she doesn't love you in a romantic way, it is definitely advisable that you let go before it's too late. allow yourself to meet new people and give your chance and someone out there a chance too. it will take more than a short period of time to get over her and resume to the "just friends" status but it will do you good. if she's unsure, give her time to think about it. i hope what i said made sense, there's too much to speak on this. i hope that all will go well and you're able to come up with a solution. do not let this issue put you down, alrite? there are many other beautiful individuals out there waiting to be discovered. and i'm sure that she is also a special person.