My daughter dosent like my wife to be with me and whenever my wife sits next to me she comes and sits in between us.And dosent like my wife talk to me........How to gude her?
123265
i have been there and done that! first children will test you to see what they can get away with, do not let her do this! spend special time with only her, just have a daddy -daughter day, then tell her that mommy needs that kind of special time too, tell her there are things mom and dad talk about that she would not understand and that she is not to behave like this.when talking try and include her as much as you can, but you need to let her see you will not except this, she should grow out of it soon, but she  needs to know mom is not her equal, and that you love them diffrently, GOOD LUCK
589591
Hi Beachbound,\n\nKudos on being a single mom for a teenager, that must be really hard (and especially from your description here). I have a lot of sympathy and respect for you and what you're dealing with, and I am grateful I have my wife to lean on during the rough times with our kids.\n\nI've never seen how you guys interact, I only have your description, but I did have some thoughts when I read your post. I also am focusing on you, since you are the adult, and you are the one who wants to resolve the issue, and the only person you have total control over is yourself: \n\n\n1. You say your daughter is well-behaved in many areas where she could cut loose -- except in the area of respecting you.  \n\nUsually a kid who is this disrespectful towards you as a matter of rebelliousness would also be indulging in lots of behaviors that you've told her not to do, as part of that rebellion.\n\nThe fact that she is MATURE (according to you) in those areas suggest that she has a problem with you and your specific relationship, not with authority per se. \n\n\n2. Yeah, kids hit teenager-dom and automatically become rebellious. This is normal and actually necessary to some degree, because they are trying to break things off as to be an independent adult. They ALWAYS have to go too far... and then come back as an adult and reestablish the relationship with their parents.\n\nIn a good parent/kid relationship, the kid will not have to push as hard to "escape" as they will in a relationship where the parent is trying to control things too much -- then they have to push harder in order to break free and establish their independence, before coming back (if they ever do).\n\nIt does sound like there are major control issues here. The more you dislike her behavior, the harder you try to control her, and she's just getting worse because of it. \n\nThis does not excuse her behavior -- yes, she probably is talking with a cruel tone, being snotty, and the like. But she's also a kid. She's immature, and still trying to figure all this out. She's not supposed to be perfect. She's still got stuff to learn.\n\nYou are the role model here. How you talk to her determines in part how she will talk to you. You have to somehow learn how to "guide" her behavior, yet give her room to mess up.\n\n\n3. To be honest, it sounds like you've cranked the screws too far. (No phone, no tv, punishing her constantly?) You also sound like the sort who really wants to make things work out your way. You have a clear sense of right and wrong and are not very prone to allowing people the flexibility to make mistakes.\n\nIf I were in her shoes (and I have three kids, btw, one who will be a teenager shortly), based on what you said here, I think I'd have a LOT of anger towards you for the way you'd treated me. I can see why she would react towards you this way.\n\nOverall, I think you've got such great intentions for you and your daughter, but you're trying too hard to control her and force her to do what you think is right. And you're SO exhausted right now. \n\nWhen a parent is doing what God wants, they are not exhausted in the way that you describe; they might get tired, true, and worry, but they also have a peace about them and trust that God's still in control of their kids, no matter how far they might stray.\n\nThis is going to hurt, I know, but I don't know any other way around it: First things first, you need to listen to your daughter, to find out what is going on. \n\nYou need to sit down with her with a clear head, promise you that you will not respond angrily to her or levy a punishment on her, and ask her to explain exactly why she is mad with you. \n\nAsk her for examples of ways she thinks you've offended her or disrespected her. Ask her what she wants in a mother. Ask her how she sees herself.\n\nDon't bother defending yourself right now. Don't try to justify anythi
7531
look sit down with her and tell her what you feel take her on a date not boring one but fun one do something you she will like and if she still dosent want to be with you move on i know and you know that there is a better person and tell your daughter that you tried and if she is not spoiled she will understand. need more advice allarcon88@yahoo.com.
218129
Talk about role reversals, they are being childish about this and your being cornered to being the parent of their situation.  In your daughters situation I would simply say you are both welcomed to visit when ever your available, if you don't want to be around when they other is then you settle that between yourselves, your both adults!  As for other arrangements that require you to schedule time for each because they no longer live together...that will have to be dealt with on a individual basis or for the holidays ...birthdays...have the festivities at your place and welcome both...that gives them equal opportunity to spend time with you and your daughter...not to mention being a family for family sake.
563908
Talk to your husband and express concern about her "split" personality. I bet she has done the same stuff to him while he was growing up.  Maybe he can give you suggestions.  Or, the next time she is over, confront her in front of father-in-law and husband.  Give specific examples of how she treats you when no one is around and tell her how that makes you feel.  Tell her that her behavior is making it difficult for you to enjoy her presence.  Either she needs to shape up or you will just have to limit her visits.  The other option is to never be alone with her.  But, remember the old saying, "you can't teach an old dog new tricks"?  I don't think you'll be able to change or without other family members helping.
379968
have a good talk with your wife you can get in to a lot of trouble talking to a norther one so cool it talk to your wife let her know how you feel good luck
606732
been through the same situation what i did was spoke with  the littles girl mother and very nicely i told her that i felt bad that they werent getting along they started off good and now they dont talk and they argue and she spoke with her daughter and i spoke to mine and we resolved the issue we told them both that they are going to be neighbors for a very long time i wasnt moving and they should just try to be friends and get along and it's ok to have little disagreements but it's more fun when everyone get along and no one should try to be a leader and tell the other girls not to be friends because that should be their choice. and i stayed out of it when my daughter would come complaining to me of what the other one said i would tell her i dont want to hear it i wasnt going to argue with the little girl and i wanst going to go and get all loud and stupid with the parents cause kids will be kids and if they couldnt resolve it then they should just ignore one another. but thanks god they are now friends and it all will pass dont worry to much about it try to ignore it when they come to complain to you and just come up with a plan with the other mom it'll work out just fine .
560271
React calmly.  She's still your daughter and she needs you.  Talk with her and keep your cool.   Could she be saying this for the shock value?  At least she's still wanting to talk to you about her thoughts.  Hang in there!!
100482
Let her go.  She will come back.  I went through this with my daughter for the same reason yours want to leave.  It didn't take her long to figure out it wasn't so bad at home afterall.  I didn't rant and rave just let her go.  She found out for herself just what kind of dad she has and I didn't have to say a thing.  Kept our relationship on an even keel.
279191
Pray about it and ask for His guidance. The Holy Spirit may be using your daughter as a vessel to lead him to Christ. That's how I came to the Lord - through my wife - and only after we'd been married for a couple of years. I think the Bible mentions this situation but do not know where, sorry.\nGod bless.
343298
Sure, a roll in the hay would be nice, but is it really worth losing your wife and your daughters for a brief moment's pleasure?  Think long and hard before you do anything to jeapordize your current situation.  If you're asking for ways to go about setting up an adulterous situation, I don't think you'll find much help here, IMHO, but seriously, think about it.  And if you're smart, that's all you'll do.  Just think about her when you're with your wife.  Physically, she won't know the difference who you're thinking of.  Just like you don't know what's going on between her ears when the two of you are intimate.  Most affairs are best left where they belong...between your ears.  Good luck!
187986
she invited u dts a good sign. that is she wants u to come. i dnt think it is wrng for her to bring a date if ur son or daughter dont mind.. cos u re separated. also ur daughter is only separated for u for a short while cos she is doin a good thing in he wedding by being the flower girl.. u shldnt ve a problem.
596205
Talk to her. Communication is what is needed. After 7 years and a DAUGHTER, you cannot walk away. Find out what is bothering her. You have a family together.
592996
Your poor daughter is going through huge changes and poor you are the safe person to take out the frustration on. I think its appropriate for you to sit her down and have a calm talk. Just state your case; you appreciate she is growing up, she wants to be treated more like an adult and you agree that its reasonable; and you want to be treated with respect the same as she does. You can tell her that you can both talk things over and reach a compromise, but you won't tolerate rudeness. \nSay that you also have a responsibility to take into account her safety, so rules are their for her benefit not just to spoil her fun. Also offer her a deal; if she ever finds herself in a situation where she feels uncomfortable she is allowed to say "I'll have to check with my Mum" or "My Mum won't let me do that" so you get the blame for being uncool not her.\nOur kids need to break away from us at some point or they'd still be dependant on us as adults, but at the same time they don't have the skills to handle it tactfully or with maturity!\nI think you've had some good advice here and its been good to hear from people who are the same age as your daughter. I'd agree that you can now stop providing for her as if she were younger, she might feel a bit smothered. Ouch! Its ok for you to set her chores to do, and if she does them with good grace she earns her allowance.\nYou aren't doing anything wrong so don't feel guilty. You don't have to put up with being treated like something on the bottom of someone's shoe! \nI'd really strongly recommend that you take up a new interest or hobby, and sign up for some part time classes at college. It would help your daughter to recognise you as someone other than Mum, and it will help your self esteem.
272556
She's rude! If you're married to her son- your family! As for the kids, the noise or mess may bother her, but that is still no excuse.\nTry talking to your husband, he can speak to her on your behalf.
582707
This is a personal question that can only be resolved between yourself and your daughter.  You two need to sit down and have a long talk.\n\nFirst, ask her why she feels this way and *really listen* to every one of her reasons.  She might have some good points you haven't thought of yet.  When she's done, ask her if she's willing to hear your reasons.  If she's not, let the conversation be over and give her some time to come back to you on it.\n\nIf there are reasons why this needs to be resolved soon, just explain those to her and let her go on.\n\nOtherwise, listen to her and respect her opinion.  Explain yourself only if it's really important or if she's ready to hear you.  Then work out a solution that makes you both happy.  You shouldn't need to choose between your lover and your daughter.
89589
you have to be there and intune for whats best for them. talk to her about it but dont push it. Once you have sat her down and explained it to her then its her turn to either turn her self around or screw up her relationship.