I'm 31...I've been on some dates since I was dumped by my last girlfriend (4 years ago), but I haven't had sex. I don't seem to attract any girls (women if you prefer) that I'm attracted to. I've tried the online personals thing but it just seems like people are looking for some ideal a lot of the time though. I'm from DC...any advice on places to go or something? Please limit the amount of snarky answers, the "just give it time" or the "you have to love yourself first" (I do, not to worry) answers that do me, you, and all the other readers on here no good. I just don't get out very much (i.e., I'll be watching Ghost Wisperer on tv tonight!) and need so CONSTRUCTIVE advice.
125576
Well, I'm not going to lie and say it's easy, but when I was 31 I was just getting divorced from my first wife, and dating a girl I met in a Burger King (of allplaces) for a while. That relationship ended kind of mutually.\n\nThen I met my current wife online. And here I am. By the way, did I mention that this marriage involved emigrating from England?\n\nAnyway, I didn't rest on my laurels for one minute. As soon as I was free and clear from wife #1 I was out every weekend going to my favorite club and meeting people all the time. I  just relaxed and had fun. It's true that when you try too hard it kind of shows and I guess it's offputting to some extent. In both cases, the girl and my wife, I wasn't trying at all. It just came to me.\n\nI suggest finding a few night spots that you like. Go with friends or go alone, it's all the same. Just enjoy yourself and someone will just show up and change your life.
677006
I agree. College seems to be the best place to meet girls. Grad school is ideal for the women you're looking for. It definitely makes sense. I should also mention that if you enroll in a teacher education course, the ratio of men to women will definitely be to your favor.\n\nYou can also try the gym. For some reason, I see a lot of mature women there. It seems mature women are more concerned about their bodies then "undergrad" age women. Maybe that's just my gym. Or maybe it has to do with them being "mature."\n\nBars. Mature girls like to have fun at bars. They are more approachable there too, especially after a few drinks. Go to the popular ones with the big cover charge. You'll find them there instead of at the seedy, dark local place next to the convenience store.\n\nInternet personal ads. Yep, girls  older than 24 who focused on their career are now looking to meet a partner to settle down with. If the office does not provide a good gene pool for them, they branch off into the Internet to look for nice guys just like you! Think about it.\n\nAnyway, these are the best suggestions I could come up with. I'm sure you already knew all this, but it's surely worth best answer, right? Good luck!
592600
Nice guys tend to be in nice places. You won't catch a brook trout in a storm sewer. Join a church or the Young Democrats or the Young Republicans or the Sierra Club. Volunteer for a work day at Friends of the River. Join a gym. Look for single dads at your kids' activities. Stay clear of bars.\n\nTake it very, very slow. Assuming you are past 35, from the list of problems, you will probably have to settle for someone 10 - 15 years older than you. It is an ugly fact of life that there are about 2 nice women for every nice guy out there, so the guys can pick and choose.\n\nMy wife works in a large medical building with a lot of nurses. We belong to a large church, and I work for a meduim sized-corporation. The lack of reasonable men is astounding. I know just 2 single men I would not hesitate to introduce to anyone. I know a dozen women I wish I could pair up with nice guys.
363906
i didn't get my first kiss or first relationship til i was 24. it was a long wait and i know it can be frustrating.. but try not to let it bother you..  there's not much you can do other than live your life and try to keep a possitive attitude..  feel free to click on my profile and send me a message if you'd like to talk further..
248574
DO NOT quit being a nice guy!! There are not enough of you around now.  Take a year 12 mos. off from getting involved with anyone and reevaluate what you want and are looking for.  Compare what the girls you have dated have in common.  Then after 12 mos. run when you see a girl that fits the profile of the girls you use to date.  ( does not mean no sex) just not committed partner. use a condom
538399
Oh, no, don't try chat rooms! I'm begging you - I can tell you very bad experiences about that. How large is the town in which you live? Is there a gay community center? They often have singles groups. Is there an MCC church? Even if you are not a religious person they may have activities in which you could participate or opportunities to volunteer. Volunteering on any lesbian related project is always good. Do you like sports? That can be a good way to meet girls, too. (And if you are a terrible athlete, like me, remember that they always need a right fielder!) Are you in college? Does your school have a gay alliance? Are you in high school? If there is a gay community center in your town then they might have a youth group. And, yes, Home Depot is always good! (and in Denver so are folk concerts for some reason) And be nice to all the lesbians you meet, even if you're not interested in hooking up. Some one who is way too old and in a couple might have a wonderful friend, niece or daughter.
110670
Unfortunately, your situation is normal.  I know that sucks.  I've been there too.  But as I got older, I had PLENTY of relationships (some I shouldn't have been so willing to rush into.)  Endure and have fun.  This soon shall pass for you.
190574
Tell all your friends that you would like to find a good man to date. Every woman in the world knows at least a dozen good, single men that would "be perfect for you!" Of course, I'm exaggerating a bit, but the principle is "to let people know that you're available, should you get asked out." Tell your family(you know they want the best for you).Be observant when you go to the grocery store.....I'll bet you know at least one guy right now that really "trips your trigger"....find out if he's single. If so, then, start up a conversation,  about, preferably manly things, like, "my car sounds funny", or, "I have a cabinet door that sticks".......see where it goes from there! You MIGHT be surprised!! Good Luck...........there's a lot of decent, lonely men out there, just waiting on a nice lady like you.
57104
If your like me, Then it's because you have had some pretty nasty girlfriends who have used and abused you. Today's women can be modivated by greed, selfishness, and the desire to emotionally hurt men for the fun of it. \nBut it does not mean you have to fall for the same trap twice.  read "who moved the cheese" great book for changing your perception in life. \nThe sad part was I brought it on my self because of my low self esteem. \n\nThe best thing you can do is FLUSH the past and start with a clean slate. \nStart by reading books on Self Help, and work to rebuild your Imiage. Smart love is one good book to start with. but by it self it will not get you over the hump. \nAfter you read smart love start dating again. but this time follow some of the advice, and learn to prescreen your dates. your looking for certain things that wave the red flag about a girl, but you want to be subtle in your approace so the girls do not understand. (THE SMART ONES WILL THOUGH ) \nOnce you find a Lady who has passed the first screening, then you can persue this relationship and see what develops. What your looking for is can this woman meet your 5 basic "needs" if you marry her. ( suggest you abstain from sex until you feel she is worth marring her. ) this way you can see if she has the stability to meet the other 4 basic needs. The sex will take care of it self if she does. \nRead His Needs, Her Needs, to understand the differences between men and women in relation to the 5 Basic "NEEDS"\n\nAlso read 7 habits of highly effective people, by Covey\nThis is an AUSOME Book for learning good people skills. \n\n\nGood Luck and God's Blessing be with you.
388467
You know, there IS a dating section.\n\nYup there are single, attractive women from NYC.  They're all at the dating section...catch my drift?
23449
I'd say bookstores and blind dates are pretty good options, at least better than bars. Then again, if you like to booze it up and hang out at bars, and are looking for someone who enjoys the bar scene, maybe bars are a good place. The good thing about blind dates is that they are usually set up by people who know you and care about you and know the other person as well. If you are concerned about being attracted to the person, you could just do a little recon (get a photo or check them out) before setting up the actual date (of course keeping in mind that attraction is more than surface deep).\nThe type of person you're trying to attract (a "decent girl") is most likely to be hanging out where? If you have hobbies, join social groups that let you meet women with the same interests. Just get out a lot and spend time in places with the type of people you find the most interesting. \nJust keep in mind the type of person you are looking for, look in those places, and get out and socialize a lot. \n\nGood luck.
588225
I am recently a single mother, with two kids... I want to find single men too.  I went to bars and did the whole one night stand here and there, but nothing seems right.  I want to find a quality man, quality MEN to date.  But they aren't at bars, or single spots... perhaps match or date.com but that seems like a lot of work to me... \n\nI have always gone with the idea that when we stop looking for someone then that someone comes to us... not sure if you have ever felt this same way... \n\nI know that is hard right now when wanting to meet someone... but it may be true.  not sure.. \n\nI would suggest, just.. and what did they say in that movie "Something New"? Let go.. let love flow or something like that...??? I would suggest open your heart and your mind up to finding someone, or meeting new guys and they will see that you are open to that, and then come to you.... \n\nWhereever you are!! bar, library, grocery store... etc...etc...
654875
That's funny, there are so many nice, friendly well balance women out there without children  wondering the same thing about a males.  The problem is, where do you find eachother....at the nice, friendly, well balanced singles without children club? That's cute. Good luck hun.
132198
We were just born at different times and different places that kept us apart.  Everything you described about yourself is qualities that I find very attractive.  I like someone who is open minded and opininated and independent.  You have awesome qualities.  When you are opininated that means you believe in what you are saying.  I have restored my own house and totally independent and can fix pretty much anything.  I cannot find the right girl to save my life.  Most girls are so boring it kills my spirit.  There are guys out there who would love a girl like you.  I think you need to move out of the city you live in and start fresh.  I think your life would change for the better in no time.  On the inadequacy and shame, see a therapist, they can get those things out of you.  We were all wounded in some way as children.  You have to go back in and reopen the wounds and let them heal correctly, otherwise they will fester for a long long time.
299129
You sound really nice.  Why don't you go and try to meet people in person?  Try a dating service... Internet personals can be a little scary , although I know a few couples that met on match.com and are now married!  There are some places out there that will meet you, and try to set you up with someone, in person.  It's a more personal introduction then just typing away...\n\nI'm sure you will find the right lady.  I just don't think it's here... no one knows anything about you... But what we do know is that you seem loving and in need of a relationship where you can share yourself with someone else. \n\nYou will find what you are looking for, just start looking in the right places.\n\nGood Luck.
48104
Unfortunately dating is always tricky and probably hasn't changed a whole lot since you were last single other than the addition of the internet.  No matter what you do there is no guaranteed way of avoiding the ones you don't want.  For beginners I recomend sticking to activities that you enjoy.  If you like dancing or something like that try taking a class.  Don't be afraid of the internet, but be prepared to have to filter out a lot of trash to find a few nuggets of gold.
533998
If all you're looking for is some "a**" then perhaps that is why you have a problem finding someone.Most people prefer not to think of themselves as just a lay.I would suggest trying for more then just sex.But if sex is all you care about then there is always the option of checking to see if you have enough money to pay for some.