he beat me a lot,then he started on my kids and i knew i had to get away.we're seperated,but i want to be divorced from the animal a.s.a.p.
134644
I am sorry to hear about your predicament. However, The Republic of Ireland has different laws and regulations regarding divorce than the United Kingdom, being a seperate nation and independent from the UK. That said, 5 years does seem like a very long time to have to wait.
324998
Listen honey I have been in a bad relationship myself and know where you arecoming from you have to stand up for yourself and move on you say you can't leacve Why? they have got you to the point where you are wallowing in self pity just as they like you. What is happening here is domestic abuse and it has to end before you end first. For your childrens sake leave him if he don't like it tell him where to go ****himself or tell him if he loves you to stand up to his family for you though from the sound of it he is week as s**t no man should ever allow anyone including his family to run you down. I wish i could do more for you but sadly I can't if you need to chat though send me an email and I will keep chatting and offering no strings advice I am a voluntary member of the samaritans and will make timwe to chat if you need me.
407676
leave while you still can before he tries to sucker you in with i'm sorry ect, if he was mad enough to hit you once more than likely he will do it again...
6881
It sounds like you do love this man but the old saying is good here.. "If mom isn't happy no one else is"  Yes I will be truly hard to start by yourself but I did it after I left a man that pushed me around and called me names and pretty much just made me feel like a piece of trash.  I have 2 children and I found a man the loves and respects me and my children.  I understand that love is hard to past especially when you have children involed. But you need to be strong. not just for yourself but for the children too. It is hard but you are a woman and just tell yourself when he comes around and tries to get you in his little trap "I am a woman strong and hear me roar" just keep telling your self that when he is around and hopefully you will be strong enough to stay out of the trap. I believe ppl change but at the same time the little pushing he does on you is just the first sign of abuse and with him doing mental abuse too it won't be long before it is so bad to where you are too scared to leave and if you need help there is so many places that have woman there to help you in your problems and I agree with you about counseling I don't see him going. I just feel that staying away from him is the best thing you can do for you and your children. And about him coming to see the children well you can have someone else there with you while he visits with the children he  has come to see them not you and make that clear to him. I think you can be strong and stronger then him if you have someone in your corner with you. Even just a friend or sibbling. Here is a website for you and there you can learn some things good luck and I wish you all the best.
235490
I did.  Nothing to be proud of but i did.  Well he was a mean and hateful person.  He was even mean to one of my kids and the other he favored.  Everything had to go his way!  When we ran out of food at the house on time, he went to get a hamburger and fries and came home and ate it in front of us!!  We were hungry!!  What a caretaker he was!!  That still doesnt make everything allright enough for me to go cheat, i know.  But i wanted out and first chance i got, i did it!!  Now i seem like the bad guy, huh?
591122
Seek advice from professionals, please! Try getting some advice from your local police or indeed, an attorney. Could there be a woman's refuge near you?\nNO-ONE should have to be abused because of someone else's problems. Your husband has problems, sorry for your dilemma.\n(if you did manage to leave, he should be required BY LAW to pay towards the children)\n\nBest of luck
484984
Only YOU know what you and the kids went through.  \n\nAnn Landers has an answer for women in your situation.  It is "Are you better off with him or without him"?\n\nEvidently you still have feelings for him.  You and him DID have kids together. \n\nIf he was that bad, he probably already had women on the side.  If he laid out at night, late in coming home etc....you know.\n\nYou might should begin to make your own life.  First, divorce and child support, enforced by the courts.  Then began to make your life enjoyable and look for a better husband, IF you want to.  If he is now running wild and free, you are right, he is having fun, rid of you and the kids and letting it all hang out.  IF you hadn't kicked him out he would have drove you crazy and ended up leaving on his own.  You just made it easy for him.   Good luck.  Pops
207727
Well,  you could turn him in to the law. Also you could file divorce and bring it up in that case. Either way I wouldn't want someone who treated me as he has you/////////////
141872
well honey i been in a similiar situation and i pulled through baby u dont need a man to take care of u and your kids never let a man pull u down show him u better than he is just leave him out and im sure u got family to help u with the kids until you get back on your feet dont let that bastard put u down
131263
you just think you are in the way.you seriously nedd to get out of this relationship,do you wanna die?this is abuse and it is so wrong,im sorry you are going through this.plz leave before it gets worse,he thinks he can scare you into staying cuz he can beat you up.saying you are in the way is a copout.plz leave.it will only get worse.ok,once they start hitting,they dont stop,next your family will be planning your funeral.plz plz leave  best of luck
306438
LIVE YOUR LIFE FOR YOUR OWN CHILDREN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Get out of that marriage.  How can you let any man verbally abuse your child?
161941
I was abused everyday for 11 years out of my 12 by the same boy. (HE wasnt at my school during my tenth year... My best year) anyway He was at my bus stop and it seemed like we had lunch time together every year and he was a grade younger than me. He failed. He would toss stuff at me and my friends, make rumors and signs up about me, pin me to a wall with all his guy friends around watching, and the list is too long to say but when i went for help time after time i was told "oh just let it go" finally i bipassed the principle i was assigned and went to the whole schools Principle which turned out to be a mistake. This kid was on the football team and the Principle was the head football coach and he said to me and i quote "Your just jealose of the attention that football players get, you need to get a hobby, besides he has a tough home life that you probably dont, He is just venting his feelings of aggression." Now i had no care in the world about his home life just because he was being abused didnt give him the right to do it to me. Anyway 4 years after high school i got on a buss to go see my parents because my fiance was working late... I hadnt been picked on since high school and had not heard much about him besides a bad bar fight he had gotten into. well who comes on the buss but him. I immediatly looked down and got fearful and i thought please dont let him notice me. And for my shock he sat down and started talking to me about him going to college and asked me questions of what i had been doing. Talked to me like we were best friends. My mom and dad couldnt believe that i didnt take the oportunity to tell him what he had done to me all those years. The only thing i can think of WHy it happened on my part is that i was heavy and quick to defend my friends. He got a reaction he was looking for
302036
im soo sorry to hear that. im kinda in the same boat here but im not married and hes never put his hands on me or he knows he will get it back twice as much. but he says really nasty things to me and i no i cant take it ne more and i have a 6 month old son with him as well and i wanna leave to i understand its hard cuz i cant get myself up and get my stuff packed either i no how u feel i dont wanna take my son away from his father but i no in my heart what needs to b done but its hard to do it but ill let u no one thing if he HITS U THAN hunnie u need to leave right away if ure afraid of him find a place and do things slowly soo he doesnt find out what is goin on than when hes at work u can finally leave but call the police to have extra help. if u need sumone to talk to u can message me ne time and i can help u
600264
My father was this way and still is for the most part. He suffers from post traumatic stress syndrome, it's a result of him being in a war. This is by far no excuse but with it being my father i feel that there is no way i could really just walk away from him. I maintain a relationship with him as best i can. When he gets to be verbally abusive i just chalk it up as him being the other side of the coin and walk away. Basically not taking it to heart, I know he loves me deep down but he just can't show how he feels because of certain things that went wrong in his life. If your parent is really abusive though and you just can't get past the fact that they are like then maybe the best thing for all is to walk away. I ,on the other hand, can't just walk away since i have small children and don't want to take their grandparent away from them. My father is never mean to the children. Yes he has yelled at them a little to much but that's when i pack them up and we leave. He knows that im not happy when i do leave and we tend not to go over there for a while. Most times he says he is sorry and things are ok for awhile.
306271
Don't allow him to do this way. He is a crude man for what he did to you, but remember the saying we are only a doormat if we allow it. Don't be that for him anymore. Make him pay child support and go on about your life. It is hard but you can do it for the sake of your children..Nicky
461404
I left 2 previous relationships that were abusive. It got to the point where it was a life or death situation. I had to leave to save the life of my child and myself. It was the best thing I ever did for myself. Right now I'm doing well rebuilding a better life for my little boy. I didn't want him growing up thinking that the way my ex treated us was right or the norm. I give props to every woman who has had the courage to leave. For those who haven't yet, I pray for your safety until you do. There has been a drastic rise in the number of women being killed by ex's lately and I knew if I didn't leave, I'd be next. I thank God for making a way of escape. Be encouraged.
607715
hey steffy,\n\nThe part that jumps out at me are the words abusive and destructive!  I really hope good things happen to you! I mean it!\n\nIf the relationship was that way, then it was also that way for your child....  even if he/she wasn't around to witness it.  Kids pick up on our emotions and feelings...  I'm no expert, but think long and hard before you put yourself and your child back into harms way!\n\nKeep your head high and demand respect!