my boyfriend that i had i went out with him for 2 years then.My boyfriend was killed in a car accident. He was in the car with his friends. his friends were only hurt but the car hit his side. They were hit by a drunk driver that was swerving on and off the road. I was told an hour later when i got there they said that he was dead. His mom handed me a letter and said "he wanted you to have this it was on his dresser" i read it and it said "i want to be with you i love you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. i want to marry you and make a family with you." i cried like i never cried before. i cry every night for about an hour. I wanted to live with him forever. i do not know what to do i can take it anymore. Everything i don't want to happen is happening. i have the worst life ever. Can you help me?
130393
I'm so sorry to hear about your painful experience. Losing someone you love that much is so diffucult. My heart is going out to you.  \n\nI don't know when this happened, how recent it was, but there is always a mourning period where you need to let your emotions out. Sadly, you didn't have the time you wanted with him.  Your future plans are turned upside down. I know a little about that myself. So, I'm sorry for your pain. If it's recent, it's going to take a while to move past this, but you will move past it.  In time the pain will dull and you may try to love again. It's so hard to think that right now, but love can happen again for you.  \n\nRight now your life may seem pretty aweful, it's hard not to have dark thoughts when you are going through what you are going through.  But your life is important to many people, your friends, your family, and especially your late boyfriend.  He loved you and would only want the best for you. I'm sure he's looking down on you and loving you from heaven right now.  And if he knew what would happen to him, he'd want you to be happy for the rest of your life. \nYour long life.\n\nYou don't have the worst life ever, it's just the worst it's been for you as of yet, and probably the worst it will ever be. If you're having trouble coping with the pain, talk to someone- a professional grief counsler can help. They can help you express the different stages of mourning in a healthy environment, and help you keep focused on how to keep your own life on track.\n\nSorry sweetie, this is so rough for you. I'll pray for you tonight.
75546
Day turns to rest and night turns to hell only pain that surrounds her only she can tell.  Oh GOD of love  may we live to tell a story that one has lost in this life or shall we cry along her while you carry us on our darkest times?  Bless those who love you and hold those that have lost themselves through another.  I ask you GOD all mighty to shelter a soul that is now in your presence, to give that child the comfort only you may give in your kingdom.  Give and embrace your warmth around that mother that is now in agonizing pain, hold her, comfort her, let her feel your love and holy spirit.  Only you and through you only can we live in peace and in peace with ourselves.  A death of a loved one is the greatest price we pay.  To live means we will be born to die and live forever in eternal life with ever lasting love.  God bless her family and her soul may you bring comfort while she sleeps and give her the strength to believe at times like these we lose our minds and sometimes our faith and hope but through prayor we gain what we lost in our hearts.  We will always be loved in our lords arms.  We love you.  God is great and God is here all the time, pray to him and he will carry you and love you, amen!
509472
I can only think of 2 things. \n\n1. you are trying to hard. I don't think it works like that. I've often in the past wished loved ones to come to me. Eventually, they do but it always happens when it's completely off my mind and I'm relaxed.\n\n2. Depending on how he left this world he may have not made it over yet. It could take time.\n\nQuick true story:\nMy cousin was a limo driver and picked up a psychic. The psychic out of no where said your father is sitting right next to you smiling and wants me to say hi.  Then went on to say his aunt still hasn't crossed over.\n\nThe father died 2 years ago. The aunts died 11.\n\nSo, sometimes they fight it. \n\nDon't think of it as he doesn't love you.\nThink of it as he loves you TOO MUCH to let go.\nIt will happen. relax
327423
u are in a tough position i must say,but u know actions speak louder than words.at times it is so difficult to do what we want to do in life and in this case of ur boyfriend it seems he wanted to please his mother more than himself.life is full of sacrifices but i don't see why he had to sentence himself to a life of sadness n all if he really loved you.i think if he really meant what he was saying about his love to you he would have talked to his mother and told him of his feelings for you and even refused to take on this new girl.if he still says he loves you,there is nothing you can do as for now as its already late.don't despair though God will open more opportunities for you.just be glad that you were able to share some part of ur lives together and move on.the truth is always bitter but it is time to move on gal!wishing you all the best as u go on with ur life its gonna be a tough road,bt i believe someone much better is gonna come your way sooner or later just keep the door to ur heart open!
166588
My best friend. She was someone who I developed a close bond with early in life, her sister and my brother dated that's how we met. We grew up together and had many wonderful and memorable times together. We were like night and day, have you ever seen the movie beaches that was one of our favorites. She was a very talented and a beautiful girl, she had a great family and she excelled in school. Her parents lived in a well known neighborhood and were active in the community. As she got older she started dating older guys which was gross to me because i had two older brothers and they forbid their friends to even look at me. Anyways my friend went down a dangerous slope. This went on from her high school years till sshe was 19. Towards the end she was recovering from a two week drug binge when she lefther boyfriend. She disappeared during those 2 weeks. She called me once while she was gone, but wouldn't tell me where she was. She returned from her 2 weeks very sick and in need of detoxifing and sleep mainly. She didn't call until after 2 days she had been at her parents. The house where we used to have slumber parties and watch movies, sing and play on the piano, I had my first kiss there. I went to see her she was in poor health, thin and very tired and weak. I remember sitting in the room with her just holding her hand and talking to her. It was so hard to see my friend going through this, I remember telling her that things may be bad and they may get worst but your at at your lowest and you can only go up and that we are all here for her. She recovered and was doing well and living back with her boyfriend. They were talking about getting married and she was going to go to college. A couple of weeks later I got a call from her,she was upset and crying. She said she wanted to leave because her boyfriend/fiance was angry at her. She asked what I was doing. I told her I had plans for a friends bday but she was welcome to go ahead and come over and i would be home later. When I came home that night, my mom was waiting up for me, she told me that my best friend had died, they said she killed herself, no investigation, case closed. That's probably more than you bargained for but it feels good to talk about it. I am not really the type of person who indulges on my feelings to my family, friends and my boyfriend about it.
591881
Its really fun....I'm going through the same thing myself...my girlfriend of 2 yrs called it off 3 days ago and I'm suck in the same predicament. I absolutely can relate to you because I'm afraid that I won't ever find someone that I care and love. Not to mention she was my first girlfriend. To make it worse she tells me that she doesn't really see a future with me even though she tells me she loves me. Anyways I just want to tell you that its ok and hopefully both of us will be ok in the future. I wish you luck and I feel your pain. Oh, and the Dr. Steve answer is not fair... I'm not a teenager and I'm going through this so to say that "its a meaningless relationship" is cruel.
582801
How about a bad break up story? \n\nI was waiting for my b/f to bring me my boom box to teach a dance class. He was supposed to be there by 8pm. We waited and waited for him. At 2am when the place closed, I walked out with my students and friends to find a note on my car. He said that he had waited for me but since I didn't come out (like I was supposed to know he was outside!), he had to leave a note. What it came down to was that he was a coward and couldn't break up face to face and in front of my friends. \n\nAnyway, after telling me that afternoon that he loved me, he told me in the note that it wasn't working out........what a loser! I am better off without him!
338400
My last conversation with my cousin was about baseball also.  It was at his little sister's game.  He was the coach.  They won.  The team threw Gatorade on him.  He tried to hug me and I pushed him away.  We were just kidding around but if I knew that was the last time I'd see him,  I would've hugged him, covered in Gatorade or not.  I've thought about what I'd say for the past 13 years.  I've gone over it a million times.  But it doesn't really matter.  I know he loved me and I know he knew how much he meant to me.  It's hard to even write this.  I believe in my heart when people die, they know who loves them.  Nothing more has to be said.  I do talk to my cousin, I tell him every day.  Don't stop talking to him because he's gone.  Your dad loves you and he knows you love him.  I'm sorry for your lost.  May you find peace.
102272
wow thats scary,this just happen to me lastnight,but me and her have only been together for 2 months,i feel like my heart has been torn out and burn until there were no ashes left,it really help,i really just feel like dieing rightnow,for you,don't feel that way,please.it will get better,it's just going to take time and you never know in the future yall will get back together, when yall are closer,you know whats scary,this all happen to me the same way,and you should pray,you never know what will happen when you pray,and if you do pray and it doesn't seem like you prayer is comeing true,don't lose hope
582809
I am about to have a tumor the size of a cantalope removed from my body this Friday.  I also have a mass on a kidney.  I would be leaving behind three great little kids.  I care if you live.  You don't know what you have until there is a threat that it will be taken from you.  When I was younger I admitted myself to a psych hospital for three weeks because I didn't see any more reason to live.  Back then I really couldn't see any future for me.  If I had only known all the good things that were down the road.  Life is a gift and the best is yet to come.   Even if things are tough now, believe me, better days are ahead.  I care very much.  I don't want to die, and it hurts me to think of someone not understanding what they are throwing away.  Please seek help if you are serious.  Your are worthy of a wonderful life.  You deserve good things.  I don't know you, how old you are, what your situation is or if you are just bored and typing this question to see what people say but no matter what your reason for writing, I can assure you as someone facing some scarey stuff, I care very much that you CARE that you live.
603245
I WILL NOT ANSWER\nREAD THE STORY & YOU WILL GET IT-\nI have a boyfriend who grew up with me. His name is Jin. I always thought of him as a friend\nuntil last year, when we went to a trip from a club. I found that I fell in love with him. Before that\ntrip was over, I took a step and confessed my love for him. And soon, we became a pair of\nlovers, but we loved each other in different ways. I always concentrated on him only, but by\nhis side, there were so many other girls. To me, he was the only one, but to him, maybe I was just another girl… \n\n \n \n\n“Jin, do you want to go watch a movie?” I asked.\n“I can’t”\n“Why? You need to study at home?” I felt disappointment grabbing me.\n“No… I am going to meet a friend…\n\nHe was always like that. He met girls in front of me, like it was nothing. To him, I was just a girlfriend. The word ‘love’ only came out from my mouth. Since I knew him, I had never heard him say ‘I love you’ before. To us, there weren’t any anniversaries at all. He didn’t say anything from the first day and it continued till 100 days…200days… Everyday, before we say goodbye, he would just hand me a doll, everyday, without fail. I don’t know why…\n\nThen one day…\n \nMe: Um, Jin, I …\nJin: What…don’t drag, just say..\nMe: I love you.\nJin: ……you….um, just take this doll and go home.\nThat was how he ignored my ‘three words’ and handed me the doll. Then he disappeared, like he was running away. The dolls I received from him everyday, filled my room, one by one. There were many…\nThen one day came, my 15th year old birthday. When I got up in the morning, I pictured a party with him, and stranded myself in my room, waiting for his call. But… lunch passed, dinner passed… and soon the sky was dark… he still didn’t call. It was already tiring to look at the phone anymore. Then around 2am in the morning, he suddenly called me and woke me from my sleep. He told me to come out of the house. Still, I felt joy and I ran out happily. \n\n \n\nMe: Jin…\nJin: Here…take this…\nAgain, he handed me a little doll.\nMe: What’s this?\nJin: I didn’t give it to you yesterday, so I am giving it to you now. I’m going home now, bye.\nMe: Wait, wait! Do you know what today is?\nJin: Today? Huh?\nI felt so sad, I thought he would remember my birthday. He turned around and walked away like nothing had happen. Then I shouted… “Wait…”\nJin: You have something to say?\nMe: Tell me, tell me you love me…\nJin: What?!\nMe: Tell me\nI put my pathetic self behind and clung on to him. But he just said simple cold words and left.\n“I don’t want to say…that I love someone so easily, if you are desperate to hear it, then find someone else.”\nThat was what he said. Then he ran off. My legs felt numb… and I collapsed to the ground. He didn’t want to say it easily… How could he…. I felt that… Maybe he is not the right guy for me…\nAfter that day, I stranded myself at home crying, just crying. He didn’t call me, although I was waiting. He just continued handing me a little doll every morning outside my house. That’s how those dolls piled up in my room… everyday\nAfter a month, I got myself together and went to school. But what made the pain resurface was that… I saw him on a street… with another girl… He had a smile on his face, one that he never showed me…as he touched the doll… I ran straight back home and looked at the dolls in my room, and tears fell… Why did he gave these to me… Those dolls are probably picked out by some other girls…In a fit of anger, I threw the dolls around. Then suddenly, the phone rang. It was him. He told me to come out to the bus stop outside my house. I tried to calm myself down and walked to the bus stop. I kept reminding myself that I am going to forget him, that… it’s going to end. Then he came into my sight, holding a big doll.   \nJin: Jo, I thought you were pissed, you really came?
248339
Got a 15 year old daugther going through this right now.  Been her dad and mom for 8 years now.  I don't know what to expect really in the future.  I know right now it's floating between hate and hurt.  I wished I knew how to help, but all I can do is be there for her and let her know dad loves her.
582206
OK what is up with this heart attack stuff..My husband and now your mom. \nShe will be in my prayers. Keep us posted about her updates. Take your laptop and keep in touch.\nI had a very hard time and still am dealing with it all. I come here to escape it all..I took my lap top in one day in his room and the Doctor asked me  have you heard of that Yahoo Q&A and I said yes and I showed him this one and he said there is this one babe from and he stopped and said no way...And I said yes..Funny small world................So you wanted new.........\n\nI  have  official made the commitment to take my road trip. I just emailed my family and told them that I was going and if they were not going to support me on this one OWell things happen..\nIt just hit me I need to do this regardless of life and what is going on. LOL for me
159883
Never okay about suicide.  The fact that my heart went out to you despite not even knowing who you are I hope in some way will show you that your presence here on earth is valuable.  Life is hard.  Everyone has problems, you are not alone in that. Sometimes you can't help but thinking that you want to just throw in the towel and say the hell with everything but that is the easy way out.  Life is precious.  Millions of people everywhere in hospital beds, on battle fields, you name it, are fighting to preserve their lives right now.  You must find a reason to carry on.  Lonliness is easily cured.  Meet people, get out there. Happiness is never constant but we can't be ready to end it all when our lives aren't going as we'd like.  I am sorry that you have no wife and family and your parents are dead and that you and your siblings are not speaking and your finances aren't so good right now. But God still has a purpose for you.  You may be just what someone else needs in the form of a friend or companion.  I hope I have helped you in some way. It breaks my heart when I hear that someone has taken their own life. May God bless you and help you see the gift that you are regardless of your current circumstances. You are in my prayers.
109971
i am 37 and they told my mom she now has about 8 weeks to go. there are no words anyone can tell either of us. you are not being selfish for wanting your mother to stay alive. our moms no we need and want them. and this, from what my mom says is the hardest thing she has ever had to do in her life. she looks at my kids and my brothers and i. she can't help crying. she knows we are deeply saddened and there is nothing she can do. she was dealt this hand and she is fighting this cancer with all that she has. my heart goes out to you and your family. i cry everyday. at moments i will be numb and i am ok but it only takes one word from someone and tears will come down and i can't stop them. we are to young in our lives to loose our moms. i can't even imagine all the really young people that have gone through this. i do not know about you but if one more person tells me she is going to be going to a better place i will loose it on them. it is not that i do not believe in god i do. but her better place for now is here with her kids and her grandkids. i also have children. and my mom lives down the street from me. they go there everyday for a snack and to see grandma. and like you life without her seems impossible. she will not see my 40th birthday or my kids have their kids. there will be no more mothers days that i can pick her up and take her to lunch. no more she drives me crazy because she is just being a mom. i am sure you can relate to all this. i can't shut it down in my head. the thoughts won't go away. it hurts to bad. i do not know who you are but i will pray for your mother. you have my deepest sympothy. if you ever need to write my e-mail is momof4angelsaz@yahoo.com. who knows maybe we can be a support team. please write and tell me how you and your mom are doing.god bless you and your family
621011
Hey I just wanted to say thank you for your response to my question, I think it really helped and it wasn't mean. I also think that you are right, he called me this morning and told me that he was knocked out and didnt get up until 12:30 or so. I guess it is still taking me some time to really relax and trust him but I think your response was the best. As far as your situation, my boyfriend is actually 28 and im 18 so yeah, think about that one lol. Thats 10 years older then me, but he loves me and I love him and its been the best relationship I've ever been in. I think true love prevails over age and just as long as you guys can respect each other and love eachother and probably give her some time to also grow, you guys will be just find. Age is really just a number I just feel like sometimes our decisions or the stage that we are at life can sometimes conflict. Just make sure you two continue to communicate and understand eachothers needs and wants to go about things the right way. G-luck.
534906
you feel as though someone died because you are losing your loved one..to hold him back from a great opportunity will only make things bad. he could always hold that against you. it is hard on him also to leave, that's why he didn't tell you in the first place. maybe you can go visit him. if two people truly love each other, long distance relationships can work, maybe one day you will move there to be with him.