My sis tolled one that go's like this.There was a man,a girl, and a monky that jumped of a plane.The man starts humping the girl,and the monky starts to masterbaet.Thay all die Happy.
121763
Yeah that is pretty lame! Try some Joke websites. Personally I like Yo momma jokes. No, not b/c I'm ghetto, but b/c they're funny! Anyway, any jokes I could tell you would probably offend SOMEONE out there! (Even the sex jokes.) But if I think of a good clean one, I'll edit it in later.
296038
there was a book i had once...i think called "worlds worst aircraft" and it was full of fun planes, many made by germany during ww2.  my favorate was their vertical take off and landing plane that had the gear mounted on the tail so one had to pull the plane up to 90 degrees, then slowly "back" it down. (looking over the shoulder and everything)  the test pilot reports all said it was a good plane, but they suggested not trying to land it.
41015
I saw one get a ticket one night.  He crossed the road right in front of a motorcycle.  Man in wheelchair went flying, passenger on motorcycle went flying, and driver of motorcycle ended up under the bike.  Was one of the freakiest things I've ever seen.
292748
HAHAHAHA!!!\nthis is like, by far, da best...\n10 outta 10 for u!!!\nstill can't stop laughin... n my stomach's startin to hurt cuz of ur last one too...
467471
Well these 8 coeds caught this stud one day.they hijacked him and took him to one of the girls home.There they took him into a bedroom All the girls stripped off and stood round the bed.Poor guy, could do nothing.Stopped him bragging though
163653
Snakes on a plane?\nThat can turn into some wild/crazy fun...lol
231059
ROFL\n\nheres a joke for you\nA man traveling by plane and in urgent need to use the men's room is nervously tapping his foot on the floor of the aircraft. Each time he tried the men's room door, it was "OCCUPIED". The stewardess, aware of his predicament suggested that he go ahead and use the ladies room, but cautioned him against using any of the buttons inside.\n\nThe buttons were marked "WW, WA, PP and ATR". Making the mistake that so many men make in disregarding the importance of what a woman says, the man let his curiosity get the best of him and decided to try the buttons anyway. \n\nHe carefully pressed the first button marked "WW" and immediately warm water sprayed all over his entire bottom. He thought, "WOW, the women really have it made!".\n\nStill curious, he pressed the button marked "WA" and a gentle breeze of warm air quickly dried his hind quarters. He thought that was out of this world!\n\nThe button marked "PP" yielded a large powder puff which delicately applied a soft talc to his rear.\n\nWell, naturally he couldn't resist the last button marked "ATR". When he woke up in the hospital he panicked and buzzed for the nurse.\n\nWhen she appeared, he cried out, "What happened to me?! The last thing I remember is I was in the ladies room on a business trip!"\n\nThe nurse replied, "Yes, you were having a great time until you pressed the "ATR" button which stands for Automatic Tampon Remover... Your p*nis is under your pillow!"
256
sure, ive seen it happen it a guy and girl of nearly equal weight.\n\nmerry christmas.
251404
My mother met two marines on a plane and gave them my phone number in order for my girlfriend and I to go out with them while they were visitng Ft. Lauderdale.\nreasons it was Bad.\n1. Mom picked them out\n2. Mom picked them out and \n3. you guessed it...mom picked them out.\nOf course all mom's mean well but the guy I would choose is so far from the other side of the earth\nThey called, picked us up. \n"Where should we go"?\nWe brought them to the Button on A1A (the beach) for dancing and such.\n1. They has $8 dollars between them. So my friend and I paid our cover.\n2. They asked us to dance...well ok sure!\n3. They danced like white boy fish out of water.\n\nFriend and I quickly darted to the restroom to figure out how to get away. After a half an hour, I thought up something. (They didn't realize we were even gone, I think)\nMy guy friend was there so I talked him into taking us home one at a time on his Mo-ped...\n\nMoral. Don't let mom choose
109792
Have sex on a commercial airplane with someone i met whilst checking in. It was a six hour flight. Everyone appeared to be sleeping (I think), and it was very dark. We were at the back, we statrted kissing and b4 we knew it, we were at it. Am so glad she didn't scream (much). It was very satisfying, but definitely a crazy thing to do.
554496
its just an urban myth. some people say that someone in the crew hung themselves from a tree during one of the scenes in the dwarf village, but its really just a bird taking flight. sorry if i ruined it for you.
335164
OMG !!!  That was funnier than crap!!! \n\nFive Stars to you for sharing!!!
293702
had a threesome with another guy and girl and had a threesome with 2 girls\nboth were fun and enjoyable
230555
ELEVEN PEOPLE ON A ROPE \n\nEleven people were hanging on a rope under a helicopter, ten men \nand one woman.\n\nThe rope was not strong enough to carry them all, so they decided \nthat one had to leave, because otherwise they were all going to fall. \nThey weren't able to name that person, until the woman gave a very \ntouching speech.\n\nShe said that she would voluntarily let go of the rope, because, \nas a woman, she was used to giving up everything for her husband and \nkids, or for men in general, and was used to always making sacrifices with \nlittle in return.\n\n\nAs soon as she finished her speech, all the men started clapping \ntheir hands.......
624529
here's one for ya\n\nCheer's\n\nBlond on Airplane\n\nA blond was traveling to Huston by airplane and decided that since she was "beautiful and blond" that she would sit in first class event's her seating assignment was in coach. When the stewardess came but checking boarding passes she said to the blond that she was sitting in the wrong seat. The blond refused to change, so the stewardess went to get help. The other stewardesses couldn't get her to move ether. The captain came out and said that he had a blond wife and that he would handle it. The captain went over to the blond and whispered in her ear and the blond immediately got up and went to her seat. The stewardess asked what he said and the captain said that he told her that first class didn't go to Huston!
95422
They want to be the woman that their brother is having fun with.  It's a sisterly thing.  Also, they would not appreciate it going farther.  They don't want their friends starting to date their brother.  It would be too weird.
620028
Funny. I heard one today too-\n\nTwo kids were fishing in a stream. W was crossing over on a bridge, when he tripped, hit his head, and fell into the water unconscious.\n\nThe kids pulled him out, and when he came to, he thanked them profusely for saving his life. He told them he would grant each of them one wish. \n\nThe first kid wanted to go to Disney, and W agreed to take him himself in the Air Force One.\n\nThe second kid asked for an electronic wheelchair, equipped with a DVD player, MP3, and Playstation.\n\n"What for?" W asked. "You aren't crippled."\n\n"Yeah, well I will be when I go home and tell my daddy I saved your dumb *ss from drowning," he answered.\n\nSurprise, surprise, the one Neocon I work with didn't find this funny.