i am 17 and pregnant, but i cant keep my baby, i have school and i am not ready to take care of a child. i would love to give a gay male couple a chance at parenthood, but my mother says it is an "abomination", i should give it to a lovely normal couple who will love it. but the thing is that a "normal"couple can adopt a bay any time. they dont go through hell just to adopt a kid.\nhow would you tell my mum that you can be just as good daddys for my son, and love him just as much than if i were to give it to a "normal" mum and dad. or keep it myself?
127620
I'm really pleased that you are considering giving your baby to a gay couple it shows that there are a lot of good people out there who are willing to help us (I'm gay myself)\nAs for an advice I think you should stick to your opinion and even though I don't have any advice to give you (Sorry)\nI just wanted you to know that you are not the only one struggling with her parents (Mine don't know I'm gay)\n I know I haven't much of a help but I really hope you would name me the best answer because if you do I might have the chance to go to Germany to see the soccer world cup (Yey!!!)
433805
I am 33 and female. If my child were gay I would accept it . It is what is on the inside that counts. I would rather my son be gay and a loving human being, than straight and a jerk. Think about it this way. If anyone one loves their child, truly loves them, than you can accept them no matter what their lifestyle choice. If someone would say that they would not love their child anymore, than they never really had true love for them in the first place. I do have a son, so this is coming from a Mothers perspective. Understanding, trust, and Love are truly the most important things
326764
Hi,\n\nFirst off, i've not got a 30ish son...but am a woman, my boys only a yr old.  :)\n\nI'd like to say all the usual..i'll support my son no matter what...if he feels like he should be a woman, then so be it. Or i often ask myself what i'd say to him if he told me he was gay one day.\n\nI'm not going to lie, i would be disappointed, but more for the fact of what society would treat him like than anything else. I wouldn't want my child to suffer.\n\nYour mother is from a different generation, she is bound to react differently to say what i will in 30 years time.\nIf you are her only son..then ofcourse she would love to see you married and have had children.\n\nBut, at the end of the day..she's your mother and loves you no matter what. She may be against it now, but it sounds like shes warming up to the idea.
517985
We don't? \n\nOMG OMG OMG ....quick, someone tell my teenage son that because his mommy is a lesbian he can't possibly exist!!! \n\nGood luck, you can tell teens anything you want...you just can't tell them much.\n\nI was unaware that because I'm a lesbian that my uterus is simply closed for business. I could have sworn I went through 25 1/2 hrs of labor and preclempcia to bring a bouncing baby boy into the world roughly seventeen and three quarter years ago....or was that just another episode of "As the World Turns" I was watching?
148514
I don't think there is realy an age that is appropriate, because all people have different maturity levels at different times in their lives. I lost mine at the age of 16 and I'm 22. My boyfriend got my drunk and basically took advantage of me. Don't get me wrong, I could have said no, but I didn't. Today I wish I would have waited. Thinking about when my son gets older and if he ever asked mom, when did yo first have sex. Most parents would never hear that so I probably won't, but what if they were to ask? Although, I would never take it back because it got me where I am today, I've been happily married for two years with a gorgeous ten month old son. People make mistakes, but hopefully they learn from them. Society isn't the problem I don't think. i think the parents and schools need to start at a young age teaching values, because they are lacking somewhere.
422012
A big yes! They should comply with the guide lines that they can offer a stable home, personal references and the desire to raise a child. What difference does it make if they are of the same sex. \n\nI know several people who grew up with gay parents & none of them are gay. There are to many children who need homes. If someone is loving enough and able to care for them, why not let them.
219806
Lasermouse:  Sorry, I'm with you but I HAVE to answer this question.\n\nMy son will be born in August...and he is my son.  I don't care if he's straight or gay.  I don't care if he wants to wear pants or dresses.  I don't care if he wants to be a doctor or a clown.\n\nI love my son.  I want him to be happy.  THAT'S my objective.  Not for him to live the life that I prefer...I want him to life the life that HE prefers, and I'll back him up 100%
153645
***I see by these other answers; schools out for the day :(***\n\nI went through this with my dad, it was VERY hard! He left when I was 1 or so.. He wrote when i was 18, I was to mad and hurt to accept him in my life at the moment.. I had just had my son and wasnt into family reunions if ya know what I mean.. I finally @ 25'ish found him on "class mates" and sent him a free msg.. He wrote back imediatly.. It has helped me in so many ways.. I always had issue because of him.. Afraid all men would leave me, that i wasnt good enough, etc.. Talking and making amends has helped me free myself from subconcious demons.. @ 26 now I can say its a good idea to at least make things good on the surface.. For your soul if nothing else! I also have an older sister whom i had never met.. She is his 1st daughter.. We have just found out that she is HIV positive.. It has sadly brought me and my father closer together.. She has not yet shared this with me despite my email attempts.. Its nice to have my father through all of this, odd as it is..
489694
if i remember correctly after reading this and all of the answers \nthis young gentleman was asking the following...\n"I'm a soon-to-be father"\n"Our cultural diferences have forced us to split up"\n"i was exploring options including abortion" Its not a crime to talk about abortion.... comon people\n"i attempted to gain a foothold in my child's life"\n"my baby's mother disagreed"\n"she doesent want me to have anything to do with the child"\n"she also stated that she doesent plan to seek child support from me"\n\n\nSounds to me like the mother has made it pretty obvious that things are OVER, while that situation might change... it was the mother that had told the willingly supportive father that she doesent want him to have anything to do with the child, nor does she want his money.\nIt sickens me to hear all of the responses of "GROW UP" and "Act your age" etc, its pretty clear to me that he was acting his age and was attempting to be a good father but unforseeable circumstances prevented it.\n\nNow your looking for a document that legaly binds your agreement? \ncontact the Human Services Department in your area and ask them about this same question and let them know your situation. \ni dont have an answer for you and i appoligize, i just saw all the negative responses to a legitimate question.\n\nI personaly do not condone in any way a negligent parent or one skimping on their duties, but from the sounds of things the other half made it quite clear that she doesent wish for you to be a father, even after you had tried.\n\ntoo sum it all up your just looking for a document that you both can sign that makes sure she wont turn around after saying she doesent want anything, and demand support?
240473
Dude like I also heard that gay people can't have kids cause they'll be gay too...um...my parents aren't gay and my rainbow is shinning! The load of BullSh!t people say these days is enough to fill the moon twice! What some people these days don't get is that more and more parents who are not scared of gays (which are becoming more) are raising their children open minded to everything so there will be a time when it'll be so normal to be gay that (hopefully) marriage will be legal everywhere. Think about it...the knoledge is slowly but surely growing and the ignorace is fading, sure we have a couple of bad apples, but in the long run we'll be accepted by most people and there will be no cure needed cause then they'll see theres no disease.
336103
"everything a gay person does is gay because they are gay themselves" - I love that!! Does it extend to all the mundane day-today stuff too? ;)\n\n"gayness is not a sex act". I'm glad you included that. I get fed up with people saying homosexuality is wrong because gay couples can't procreate. Technically, my DH and I can't have children naturally - does that mean that our love is sinful too? When will people realise that relationships are about love and emotion and not just about sex?
338338
dear sunshine,\nI am a 31 year old married man with two boys, i left my wife almost two years ago, cuz of cheating, i was about to forgive her and take her back, but i found out she is pregnant.\n\ni still have not decided if i even want to take her back and adopt out her baby, she wants me back, i dont know.\n\nbut one thing i will tell you sunshine,\ni know i loved her, truely\nfor she had the capacity to make me the happiest man in the world,\nand yet at the same time;\nshe could hurt me more than i ever knew i could be hurt.\ni believe that this is what true love is, and that it is unconditional- no conditions, such as; i will love you if you do this, or not if you don't.\n\ni will always love my wife, and have already forgiven her.\nbut that does not mean i want to be with her....\n\nyou should ask yourself this,\nif your man got pregnant from someone else, (God forbid, :) ) - would you take him back??\n\nn e way,\ngood luck.
134250
Be their for her! I got pregnant at 15, and basically all my friends bailed on me. She has got to tell her mother cause she will eventually find out, and I'll bet she would rather hear it from her that from somewhere else.plus she HAS to get prenatal care if she wants a healthy baby. her mom will probably be disappointed but parents tend to roll with the punches. she'll get over the hurt and anger and it will be OK. as for her BF If he's an asshole like that than she don't need him anyway. You can be a perfectly good single parent just make sure she files for child support.\nIn a weird way all babies are blessings. I don't know where I would be today if I didn't have my son. but from now on tell her to wrap it up even though she is already pregnant she can still catch a disease.
530135
Wow - tough one. Have you thought about adoption? Do your parents know? Talk to them or your boyfriends parents or you doctor. Somebody will help you because they care about you. Your not alone. Good luck
605222
Hon, please, please wake up and see what your life will be like being in love with someone that gets in trouble with the law like that.   Ask yourself some questions.  Do you want others to respect you?  Do you want to respect yourself?  Do you like having your body used by others for tempary gain?  Are they telling others about how free you are with your body (they will lie to you and say they are not, but you are the gossip of the town when you abuse your body in this manner)?   Do you want to have to raise a little on in a situation where you are not sure of the love and mental as well as physical support from the boy?  Are you prepared to raise a child in a positive manner?  Stop and think, if I was my child, what would I feel like having a child do what I am doing?
268659
She can't be asking you to choose for no reason at all. Either she fears for your safety with this guy or there's something wrong with her mentally. Not trying to be funny, but parents just don't refuse their children be happy unless they have mental issues. You should sit down and talk to her to find out why and make your decision from there.
69008
Children of any age resent any "outside" interference from sources such as yourself in their lives.  They always consider that maybe, the parents will return to each other and they will be "one happy family" once again.  And, if by chance, your "man" was widowed, the kids think of you as the "Wicked Witch of the West" trying to replace their mom.  After 2 years, I would think you'd have a better hold on everything, but it appears maybe you and the "man" hasn't really sat down and discussed these matters for the future. But you state, its "your feelings toward the children" that you fear, not their feelings toward you?  Evidently, you can't accept the children and only want kids between you and your man.  Now that's a major problem and if I were you, and can afford it, I'd seek professional help on this matter.  And if you can't afford it, maybe the welfare people in your state might assist in financial matters?  I'd find out ASAP and get this problem either corrected in my own mind, or split with this guy knowing you will never accept his children as yours.