Iam not in good terms with my mother in law and my sister in law, they are those type of people who are very pushy and managing. they have said so much shit about me. and many other things to hurt me, i get along with every one in my husbands family except the two of them. they look down on me, they feel like they are doing well than me, and they always make comments that leave me offended. two weeks ago i told them off, and i told them i will keep distance in order to have peace. about the threats my husband and father in law say that my sister in law just say that out of temper. what should i do. right now i dont talk with them and dont wish to.??
126521
Mothers are often jealous of a son's relationship with another woman since it usually means they are no longer #1 in their son's eyes. On another level she is also jealous of the attention your father-in-law pays to you and she is making sure he doesn't come to like you too much! \n\nSisters often resent their brother's girlfriends and wives, regarding them as "new daughters" that take their parents and brothers attention away from them. Kind of like sibling rivalry.\n\nThese women will settle down in time once they realize you are no threat to their relationship with your husband or their husband/father. Encourage your husband and father-in-law to include one or both of them in the conversations or activities that are making them jealous. Don't let either of the men make comparisons that put you in a better light and provokes their jealousy. For example, if your father-in-law compliments your cooking, then looks at his wife and says, "why don't you ever make that," then you should make some comment about her best cooking to keep her feelings from being hurt. You will see lots of little things like that if you watch for them. Try to smooth them over, and just be the best person you can be. Hold your temper! It will get better in time. \n\nIf it doesn't you will know that you tried your best and just avoid them as much as possible to prevent disagreements and try to ignore the hurtful things they say and do. Your husband will take a hand if they disrespect you too much when he knows you are doing your best to get along with them.
422287
How much do you trust your husband to make the right decisions for your family??????........\nSupport your husband in whatever way he needs you to at the moment......you cant worry about how your in-laws feel about you......when they are gone, you will still have your husband and he will appreciate you standing by him....regardless of what happens....\nI fought a similar battle w/in-laws once upon a time...I wish i had just supported my husband....I wish i had understood that I could make it about me and my feelings (which I did)...OR I could have let him do whatever  he needed to do for his parents for him to be ok....knowing that our familys best interest was never  out of him mind.......(I did not do this) OUr marraige suffered ....Now I look back and see It was not worth it.....I SHOULD have trusted him.......He was trustworthy....\nThey never did like me.....but now thery are gone and it doenst matter....But my ex and I are still trying to come to terms with the fallout from that time(as well as other issue).....\nPICK YOUR BATTLES CAREFULLY..........some are not worth the war they will lead up to....
5258
Let it get back to your mother in law that you don't believe she made those statements, because you can't imagine that she would ever say something so awful about you and your kids.  \n\nThen the ball is in her court.
52098
Explain to your husband that you love him but you need your own space away from his family.  Move out and leave room for him in case he follows you.  Give yourself a few weeks of peace and quiet.  \n\nIf you can't afford to move away from them, try to get some counseling for you and your husband.  A counselor will have a better chance of getting through to him and make him understand that you need your privacy and you two should get your own life....Good luck!
203718
I appreciate you for taking care of the step daughter.  Do not worry about your mother-in-law or sister-in-law.  People always talk and wait for opportunities to find faults. Play your role as a mother to all your three kids and be happy.  You be a good mom as you have always been.  Remember your stepdaughter knows of no other mom other than you and to her you mean everything. I am sure your husband will understand this and try to make his mother understand. Good luck.
475439
I hate my in-laws. They are always in my marriage. They expect my husband to cater to their needs and forget that he has a family on his own to take care of. I undrestand that he is suppose to help them but they call him for any and everything like when they went out of town they wanted him to stay in their house for two weeks without his family.
523914
I was in a similar situation where I lived with my wife's family for a while before we got married.  Her parents are amazing, but her brothers were the laziest bunch of a**es I'd ever laid eyes on.  I was the only person cleaning the house, mowing the lawn, shovelling the snow, washing the dishes, etc, etc.  When in their house, I always felt that being the outsider, it was an obligation of mine to help out whenever possible.  \n\nIt's tough to say in your situation as you don't mention where the problems are coming from.  My wife was always worried that I would leave her because of her family, but I told her that I was with her because of her, and that her family would not change my mind, no matter how frustrated / angry they made me.  We moved out of the house shortly after the wedding and I was much happier for it.\n\nMaybe your bf feels that he has no privacy, is trapped in a situation where everything he does gets scrutinized, and can't really relax or be himself.  When I go home, I want to sit back and do anything I want, but being in someone else's house just doesn't give me the flexibility to do that.\n\nYou need to talk to him and see what he is thinking.  If you don't know why he's upset/unhappy, you need to find out.  Maybe moving out is the only way to change things for him.  It did me and my wife wonders.
434312
I can understand your feelings.  My in-laws definitely favor their other grandchildren.  They don't even remember what size clothes to buy my oldest daughter.  They send gifts that their other grandchildren like and just figure my daughters like the same things.\n\nThey never come to our house for Christmas and when we go out to see them, they will not celebrate the holidays unless my husbands sister and her kids are present.  They don't make my children feel special...ever.\n\nSo I have finally decided that I can't take anymore.  I don't send pictures to them anymore, I don't call them with updates of the kids anymore and I have decided that we are not going there this year for Christmas.  I'm tired of being treated as second class family members.  Besides that, there isn't much I can do since its my husbands family and he's too indifferent to get upset by it.
630870
My mother in law feels sorry for my husband. He thinks that I don't do anything at all..and that I should have a job so he doesn't have to work so hard. \nThe truth is..she was Missing In Action for most of my husband's life..having to work all of the time at menial jobs. He has very few memories of her being there at all.\nSoo...I have learned to avoid her, and shrug off her unsubstantiated criticisms.
359079
Holy Cow. I feel like I am reading my life story.  My BIL is the same way. One day he is flirting and then next day he is ice cold.\n\nI understand that emotional relationship. He and I are very close but he is very hard to take seriously.\n\nhe came to stay with us for 3 months before his parents moved here. That was the first mistake. The minute his parent closed on the house he left and treated me and my husband like crap.  He is recently moved in with this girl and nothing like drama to get you thru your life.\n\nOnce the in laws moved down here he told them I was sleeping around with every man in town.  \n\nHe recently told in laws that my husband I have having problems. The only problems we are having is with them.  He is trying to take the spotlight off of him and his drama.\n\nPlease understand I know what you are going through and I am not sure how to tell you to get through but take it day by day and avoid him at all costs.\n\nGood Luck I really know what you are going through and if you need to email me please do at ladybugmac2000@yahoo.com
591361
DOES YOUR SISTER REALLY HAVE A GOOD REASON TO KEEP HER CHILD FROM YOU? MY SISTERS HUSBAND WHO IS ONLY FATHER OF 2 OF HER KIDS IS TRYING TO TELL ME MY NEICE AND NEPHEW WHO ARENT EVEN HIS CANT COME TO MY HOUSE ANYMORE BECAUSE SHE SPOKE HER MIND TO HIM AND SHE HAPPENED TO BE AT MY HOUSE AT THE TIME.BUT I STUCK TO MY GUNS THATS MY NEICE AND MY NEPHEW WHETHER OR NOT YOU LIKE IT THEY WILL NEVER LOVE YOU LIKE THEY LOVE ME. MAYBE YOU SHOULD TRY TO TALK TO YOUR SISTER AND SEE WHY SHE SHOULD HAVE A GOOD EXPLAINATION FOR HER ACTIONS AND IF SHE DONT THEN I WOULD LOOK AT IT LIKE YOU TRIED THATS THE ONLY THING YOU CAN DO IN THE LONG RUN SHE WILL KNOW SHE WAS WRONG.JUST WISH THE BEST FOR YOUR NEICE,SHE WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO REPLACE YOU!
286783
I can't stand my inlaws!! They are so fake! They act like they like me but, behide my back they talk about me. I have acually heard her talk about me! I can't believe they can be that way! I had tried so hard in the begining to get along with them but I stopped that a long time ago! I guess first impressions mean alot because that was when she brushed me off when I said hello. If my husban is not home and she calls I don't pick up the phone and she knows I'm home. I know that get's her upset. But I love it!! So my suggestion is focus on your fam and avoid her! But ofcoures say hello once in a blue moon. I know you not getting along with her came create unwanted problems in your relationship! Best of luck:)
455929
"Various Reasons"  I will trust you when you say none of them are serious.  If I were you, I would put my foot down once and for all.  Tell your Mom and your sister, be nice about it but firm,  that you do not appreciate their back stabbing regarding your wife-to-be.  Tell them you love them all, but you are not going to put up with any more of it.  And if they love you, they will have to make the effort to accept her as well, because YOU love her and that should be reason enough.  Tell them that disrespecting HER is like disrespecting YOU.  And you do not want them to do it anymore.  If they are reasonable people, they will listen and abide.  If they are not, I would simply make myself scarce when it comes to visiting your mother and sister.  Harsh as it may sound, they will get the message and eventually lighten up on your beloved.  CONGRATS on your upcoming wedding and GOOD LUCK!!
338899
My mother in law didnt like me either. She said it wouldnt last a year. Well its been 32 years and we no longer speak to her because she pulled some rel nasty stunts on our children. I say stay with him and ditch the mother in law too.
126552
This is one of the hardest things to resolve in relationships, unfortunately. Keep in mind that your mother-in-law is also your wife's mother. I'm sure you already know that most people try to please, or at least placate, their mother. You're in a difficult position, but there are some things you can do:\n\n1. Communicate with your wife ... constantly. The two of you must not allow this to interfere with your relationship.\n\n2. Communicate with your mother-in-law. Do NOT retaliate in kind ... EVER! Do NOT lose your temper! She obviously angers you, but you have to be bigger than that. Ask her what it is that bothers her about you and offer to try and change at least some of those things ( IF you can and IF they are not part and parcel of who you are ).\n\n3. If you can afford to, you and your wife should find a competent marriage counselor to help you cope with this problem ... soon!\n\n4. When the baby arrives, I suspect your mother-in-law will want very much to see him/her as often as possible, particularly if this is her first grandchild. This gives you an excellent lever. Stress to your mother-in-law that this is both YOUR child and HER grandchild, and that both of you should want to do what is best for the child; and that her berating you will definitely NOT be good for the child. As an ABSOLUTE LAST RESORT, if you and your wife AGREE on this, BOTH of you have a talk with her mother and tell her, as gently as possible, that the TWO of you have decided to not expose your child to your mother-in-law's berating of you. Stress that, if she is willing to stop it, she can visit anytime the three of you agree. Let me stress again that this is a LAST RESORT, and should only be used if BOTH you and your wife truly AGREE!\n\nGood luck with this, and don't foget to seek that which is best for ALL parties involved.
84463
I would only say something if you really feel the need to stand up for your brother, I would do it with them both standing right there so that way there is no he said she said crap going on between them talking about you. I would only do that under extreme cercumstances though. It matters how close you are over all to your brother, I mean if you can talk to him about anything i would definitally say something to him in private, something like dude is it just me or do you seem unhappy here lately, not really blameing her but if it is because of her he will come out and say so, if he asks you what you think i would go ahead and tell him but in the long and short of it if she makes him eat dog food on the floor every night for dinner and he still loves her, support him in his pick for a future wife. You might not like how she treats him over all but it looks like he does, maybe you havent gotten to know her well enough yet, Or maybe he hasnt, who knows. But i would definitally deal with this in a tender way, maybe your mom or dad can say something to him, or you can go to them and voice your concerns, they could probably get away with saying something to him easier then you could. I dont know ive never really been in that situation but i can see it going bad easily if its not delt with care :) I hope that helps
563908
Talk to your husband and express concern about her "split" personality. I bet she has done the same stuff to him while he was growing up.  Maybe he can give you suggestions.  Or, the next time she is over, confront her in front of father-in-law and husband.  Give specific examples of how she treats you when no one is around and tell her how that makes you feel.  Tell her that her behavior is making it difficult for you to enjoy her presence.  Either she needs to shape up or you will just have to limit her visits.  The other option is to never be alone with her.  But, remember the old saying, "you can't teach an old dog new tricks"?  I don't think you'll be able to change or without other family members helping.