I have lost a beautiful, adorable, and sweetest girlfriend. Why do I feel melancholy even so long after it was over?
131320
Because you are still very much in love with her and that she has touched your life and soul like no one else has ever done so. Love can never be forgotten cos it keeps us running and alive just thinking of that special person even if you have lost her.\n\nOnce love has touched your heart and soul, it doesnt vanish into thin air like misty morning,instead it lingers and that is why you are melancholy about it!\n\nSuggestion: Try to win her back!
436273
well when you feel that there is nothing to talk about ,start talking about her beauty and that how much you miss her and you were thinking of her all night long  and things like this ,she'll be more than happy :P
572875
There is a possiblity that the fact you don't feel the same way with new girls is simply because the first girl was just that--your first girl.  I dated four girls in my life, and didn't find the right one until a couple years ago.  At first, all the girls I dated gave me the same feeling, but it went away, and that was ultimately why the first three relationships didn't work out.  Every time we broke up, I was worried that I wouldn't find a girl like them again, because they were all very wonderful people.  I would go a few months before I found someone else that made me feel the way they did.  But it may take a few tries, like in my case, where it took four tries to find the right girl.  The reason you may feel different about your first girl is just because she was the first one you knew, so that is what you are used to.  The best thing I can say is wait it out, until you find the person that you realize you could spend a lot of time (i.e. a lifetime) with.  It just takes time and a lot of different people until you find the one.  Hope this helps somewhat!
251969
You have to remember that it was really a one-sided relationship which is actually a contradiction in terms. It's not like you actually had a long term relationship with her. Most of it took place in your own heart and mind.\nYou've tried to get over it, but maybe you're trying too hard. We've all been there. If you keep obsessing on an illusion, you'll miss every opportunity you have for a real relationship now. Chances are you may have had someone right under your nose but missed out because you're so mesmerized by this other girl who didn't feel the same way about you. Ask yourself if this is really the kind of future you want. You're 28, you sound intelligent and romantic and fun. Don't waste all this on a person who can't love you back. And don't blame yourself for it.It's just a fact of life that chemistry doesn't exist between everyone. Write her a goodbye letter but keep it. Then get out and start living. Life's really too short.
526057
I used to. A lot of my friends and family have been taken in horrific ways and I miss them but Ive other pals and family and pets aswell so life has to go on. You could be depressed, maybe your GP could help you or just go and see a good pal. Am sorry for your loss.
487654
Hi Che,  The way you ask the question with all the information, You both sounded like a happy couple. I don't think you did anything wrong,(if you didn't leave something out). She is very confused about her love for you,or she has found someone else to replace you.It's one or the other. I would find a nice girl who know's what her feeling are. That way you don't have to go through this again. Your right us girls don't all do this.I have a old man and i would never do this to him. Good Luck My Friend.\n\n  Clowmy
199452
Getting over it can be the toughest thing you'll ever have to do but trust me it will happen for you. In my experience getting as far away and having absolutely no contact with the person worked for me. Also try to get out and meet new girls, not necesarily to date but to hang out with, a companion. Sometimes a little positive girl attention is what will work to help you see how imporatant and special you are on your own. Keep smiling and dont change for anyone. In my opinion its her loss:)
31035
Hahahahahahaha! \n\nDude, you screwed the pooch. \n\nWhat, she all of a sudden looks good because she's found someone new? I know what that's like. I've been there. You don't want her - but you don't want anyone else to want her either.\n\nYou're mistaking that feeling of loss as love. \n\nWhat you need to do is go out and date someone else. How about the chick you screwed your 'love' over with in the first place?
468455
That is very sad for you. You are grieving, mourning the loss of your boyfriend. It may be that he will only be inside for a short time, do you know this? If it's going to be a long time, you may have to get on with life without him. It's only natural that you feel so bad; you can't concentrate on normal life. your whole time is consumed with missing him . The plan of your lives together has been upset. Try writing to him; it will not only help to clarify things for you, but also might help him cope. Remember, he is probably scared and as lonely as hell too. Talk to someone you trust about it. sharing your loneliness often helps. Take care of yourself.
591881
Its really fun....I'm going through the same thing myself...my girlfriend of 2 yrs called it off 3 days ago and I'm suck in the same predicament. I absolutely can relate to you because I'm afraid that I won't ever find someone that I care and love. Not to mention she was my first girlfriend. To make it worse she tells me that she doesn't really see a future with me even though she tells me she loves me. Anyways I just want to tell you that its ok and hopefully both of us will be ok in the future. I wish you luck and I feel your pain. Oh, and the Dr. Steve answer is not fair... I'm not a teenager and I'm going through this so to say that "its a meaningless relationship" is cruel.
608486
Sad to hear this. I know the feeling of giving your all to that one girl you truly love. I believe you that it is far more than sex...it's love and companionship. It's that wonderful feeling that you have when you're with her whether in silence or not. The sad part is that she avoids discussing things to questions you deserve answers to.\n\nAt your age, I bet the feeling must be harder. I don't think no answer can quench your thirst but her honesty to why things can't be the same again.\n\nWhen did things started to change? Look back to what you might have done wrong or probably she is not really serious about spending her life with you.  A lot of times, we got to accept the hard facts that things are beyond our control and we have no choice but to accept and move on. \n\nWhat can we do with the pain but acknowledge it and eventually accept and carry on with our lives. Things might not be the same again but surely one day, you'll fall in love over again when you least expect. \n\nGood luck. This stage is hard but things will change, don't let this destroy your life.
56156
Have you gone out with many girls since your separation?  If not, then you are probably moving too fast, thinking too far in advance.  Slow it down.  Stay with the girl you like, but BE SURE TO GIVE HER TIME TO HERSELF.  That means a day or 2 apart at a time (phone is OK).  Otherwise you will feel "clingy" to her and all women hate needy/clingy guys, which could cause her to dump you.  \n\nYou have to control your emotions yourself.  That sounds funny, but it's true.  You have to think about how you feel, how your life is, factor in the good and bad possibilities of what could happen based on your actions, then choose what you feel are the best actions.  Control your emotions or you will lose her.\n\nI've been separated from my ex for 16 months, officially divorced for 6.  I've felt what you're feeling.  I've been back in the dating scene.  Take it slow.
150635
i know how u feel...it sux putting in that much time and winding up where u were before u met her....my best advice is to go out and meet new people...go to the mall, bar, library, or even a grocery store...but whatever u do dont jump into another relationship just to fill the void u have now...
210092
Everyone, at one time or another, has to experience this.  The best thing you can do is go through the steps of mourning what you feel you wanted and loved.  Look the steps for mourning up and experience them all.\n\nDo you best to remove all memories, but most of all work on yourself and make and keep yourself the person you want a woman to want to be with for the rest of her life.  Then look for a mate who is doing exactly the same thing.\n\nWhen it's real rough, think about what would be nice to have in your life and make a list of good qualities you see around you, in everyone else, that you want to be a part of a girl in your life.  Focus on that and you will see some truer colors to help you through some thing that only time can help you endure.\n\nMost of all, know this is normal and you are okay.  And you deserve better or you would not be asking this question.
147495
maybe it's because you've been hurt in your past relationship. if that's the case, it happens to everyone. just know that there are lots of great girls out there and you should try to move on and be open to new experiences instead of worrying that it's gonna end up like your past relationship. i'm sure you won't be lonely for too long:)
159203
I don't know of anybody who didn't feel horrible after breaking up. A bond between two human beings is a valuable, special, particularly fragile link. Why not remember the good times you both had? Here's something else to keep in mind: there was probably a reason you both broke up. Was it something you needed to do? There may be a valid reason. And above all: these things take time. You can't expect to jump out of bed the next morning singing and dancing, but it's also equally unhealthy to obsess all the time your ex-boyfriend and your ended relationship. "If the problem persists, it may be necessary to seek professional help," we hear that all the time, but if the problem lasts longer than you think it should, it's probably a good idea to talk to a psychiatrist. ( A female psychiatrist would more likely have experienced what you're going through.)To occupy your time, you could go out with your friends, donate time to a charity, express your feelings through art or writing... however, and I am not trying to disrespect your feelings by any means, you seem a bit young to be dating. Enjoy life.  You'll have the rest of your life to worry about men and boyfriends. You're young, so why not not spend valuable time, instead of thinking of boys, learn to better yourself? Learn to speak German; learn Karate. You'll empower yourself and your self-esteem will rise. I personally wish you the best of luck.
592542
Yes zool, sometimes I feel very sad and loney too.  My marriage of 27 years broke up about 3 yars ago.  Then I met someone, fell in love and got engaged.  He died last September.  Since then I can't seem to "find my place."  You know, where I belong.  I moved to another state but feel like I need to go back where I came from because my children and grandchildren are there.  What is making you feel sad and lonely?  You can email me at watsoq9@yahoo.com if you like.