I keep hearing that good guys just need to be patient, and that women will eventually appreciate them.  It's a bit offensive, because it suggests that he wasn't good enough for you 5 or 10 years ago, but now all of a sudden, he's just fine.  You'll "settle" for him.  Well, maybe instead of saying "Hooray, she finally likes me," maybe he should say, "I'm not settling for you."  Perhaps the good guy doesn't want all of your baggage from your previous relationships, especially your abusive, flaky ex's who show up whevener they feel like it and disrupt everything.  I know it doesn't do me any good to point out these things, because I'll just hear lies about how I'm a misogynist, woman hater, etc..  Just because I tell the truth and you don't like it, it doesn't make me any of those things.  So, you're going to "settle" for me . . . wrong!  You don't deserve a man like me, who would treat you like gold.  You weren't mature enough to appreciate it then, and you sure aren't now.
126735
You nailed it right on the head. The women you are referring to want their handsome boy toy to play around with, and they get used and abused for years and years, then towards mid life, they decided that they want someone decent and loving. I reiterate what you just said, why should the good guy not have to settle for damaged goods, which they are,and with certainty, they will have psychological at the very least.It is quite refreshing to see someone like you call it like it is.
211518
I'm sorry to say this but I dont think it was really that wise of you...He's still probably hurting from his previous relationship...and is just looking for a "rebound girl" or something like that...\n\nThink about it coz even if he might really like you, your not sure if her really is ready for a new relationship...
196326
ummm yeah girl, dont get caught in that falling for losers while the nice guy watches and picks up the pieces trap. You should kick your ex's behind. You dont disrespect a woman by putting your hands on her OR calling her out of her name. If he has to physically hurt a woman, it shows he is a punk anyways and not a real man. Maybe his mistake in falling for you is that you didnt have a penis, which is what he is really looking for.
149213
I am going to empower you, girl, for this Life is far too short to attempt to spend it...as you appear to be trying to. Lesson One: STOP believing that YOU can read anyone else's mind, let alone a man's! STOP injecting YOUR feelings/voice into the space where someone else's feelings/voice should resound. And for the love of God, please STOP yourself whenever you find yourself even THINKING: "Yeah...I KNOW ______ (fill in space with a name) is behaving in this fashion BUT..." The reason why is this: Unless your last name is "Christ" you are most likely under-qualified to accurately 'read' other people's (true) feelings/emotions/thoughts, etc, etc. You can GUESS, but you will NOT always be correct. OK, if someone's real-world/real-time actions DO support a particular notion of yours, you CAN make an educated guess. But, for the sake of your not spending your life spinning your wheels and waiting for guys to act the way YOU 'know' they REALLY feel...please DO consider discerning/judging people (ESPECIALLY MEN!!!) by what they actually DO and NOT by what they say. Try to respect people enough to believe that they actually KNOW what they are saying/doing, even if it is not what YOU prefer them to say/do. Anything less makes YOU the 'bad guy', as in: controlling, manipulative...Bottom Line? If your man really loves you, he will find his own way back to you. And YOU should require nothin' less, because if HE left, he should EARN   you all over again. He will not respect you, otherwise, and you may have a lifetime filled with him goingcominggoingcoming...! A good woman IS worth her weight in diamonds. Has he presented you with something, somethought, someindication, which demonstrates to you HIS understanding of YOUR (positive) worth, yet? If not, why are you even wasting time TRYING to understand HIM?!? My dear, YOU are worth more than YOU (appear to) know. So...here's MY parting 'gift': If he IS an immature jerk, let 'im go. Alternately, (I promise) the minute you STOP! worrying about him and move on with your own life- and No, this doesn't necessarily mean YOU should go out and make an ass of yourself with other guys/men/boys, either- he WILL take notice (meaning: miss the dedicated attention his fabulosity assured him of receiving from you) and come running with his 'feelings' in full display for you to (mis)interpret...again. Oh! And if you are an attractive/sexy/cute/desirable/viable female...the latter will happen sooner than you can blink. Have faith. In you.
625845
Hello Adri ----\n\nYeah, you seem 2 be in your teens or early twenties.\n\nListen, .....don't pay attention to all the ladies here telling you that men are trash and are no good.....they say that because that's the kind of guy that they've dated before and went through the same stuff as you are going through right now. \n\nEveryone in their life receives a "Broken Heart"......and it's like graduating. Someone showed you that life is not all roses, my dear. ....however , do not think that ALL Boys or Men are slime....because we are not the same. \n\nThis "guy" that dumped you for no apparent reason did not truly appreciate you as a person......maybe he looked at you for what you had and not for the person that you are. \n\nPlease do not be bitter......but look at this as a learning experience, not as a disappointment. If you were the best girlfriend that you could be.....that's all that can be expected of you....is to try your best, young one. \n\nMen and Women can be so negative towards each other because we let emotions and feeling get in the way. However, we fail to look at ourselves and realize how lucky and unique we are as individuals. \n\nBe the beautiful person that you've always been....and never, ever let anyone break your spirit, ok ?? \n\nPeace and Harmony 2 U    :-D \n\nSincero.
240241
maybe he dont want to admit it to you, the reasonn for this are that all men are selfish and if they cant get there way then why not make ours miserables to, the thing we have to do as women is remeber that we should not be talked to down to or disrespected for that matter.Maybe is he truely unhappy with his life and wants your to be miserable with him, have you given him any reason to resent you for any reason, where yall young when yall got married, maybe he didt finsish college or anything that you may have done for him to act this way, if not girlfriend and you the road ahead is alot clearer then get out, pretty much what your doing is letting this man talk down to you and disrespect you, name calling is not fun for anyone and eventually it will get worse with time, after so much of this ABUSE you wil be tired of it, I hope that your smart enough not to have kids involved in this relationship if so yall are really headed for lots of trouble, I wish you well and if you wanna chat send me email if you would like cqueen742003@yahoo.com i hope all goes well for you, dont let him tear you aprat becuase he is not happy
180068
He has lowered his standards because he has lost a woman of your caliber. He knows he can't hold on to a woman as good as you. Maybe he will see the error of his ways and come crawling back and it will be your turn to make him feel bad. He is still trying to hurt you and he needed a comparison between you and his new bimbo. You are better than that and you know it. So does he. Stay strong lady. There is someone out there who will treat you right and love you for who and what you are. You don't need him and the pain he causes.
17082
They simply say this statement because they want to keep you holding on to their balls but really they are afraid of commitment and don't want to let you know because they know they will lose you. I think if they flirt and talk to other women though, you should not distrust them. I think flirting is nature and I don't care what anyone says, everyone does it from time to time. So go out there and do it in front of him and see what he has to say about it.
562940
A girl shouldn't settle for some guy just because he will treat you good.  It isn't fair to him or yourself to create a relationship that isn't built on love and passion.  The fact that he jumped straight to a promise ring without you two dating is like a huge red flag of desperation on his part.  Don't fall for the big move he has made, instead focus and think about what you want in your life and for your future.
327548
Move on because your "current" is really not a good bf because he is not there for you.  Women always overanalyze these kinds of things when it is soooo simple.  When a guy wants to be with you, he's there and you never have to feel the way you are feeling.
127625
Like I've said in other similar posts. Men fear rejection. From an early age we're taught it's not a male thing to "hope and dream" for things we want. He privately hope in a small corner of our minds but we're supposed to be strong and leave the hopes and dreams to the girls. Sexist? No. Realistic. And so we never think we'll ever have what we've always wanted. So when it DOES finally arrive, either we doubt the possibility of it and reject it, or we fear to think or feel that this might be it and we try not to get too close in case it falls apart. He tells you he loves you when he's drunk because he has liquid courage then. His inhabit ions and fears of loss and rejection fade away at that time and he's more free to express himself. It's a form of emotional constipation. Be his ex lax and help him through this. Have patience. It will come the more he feels you'll always be there loving him. Good luck. Play your cards right and he'll open up in no time. "Anything worth having is worth waiting for."
485671
I know how you feel. It seems no matter how much you do for them or how well you treat them they still disrespect you, show too little appreciation, and there never seems to be enough of a  balance, or reward in the relationship for men. IE women take more than they give and think about their own needs more than their partners. I can't give up though because I want to be happy with someone and will keep looking until I find that woman who gives as good as she gets
661647
he seems like he cares! just let him know that you want to go slow due to your past relationships! I'm sure he'll be understanding enough! best of luck!
272184
why do women always think the guy is angling after something.i will do anything for anyone.no matter how old,or young,or ugly,or beautiful they are.maybe he is just a nice guy.it sounds to me as if you have had trouble with men in the past and are taring them all with the same brush.
651133
you are sprung.  you wrote, " but i know he's not right for me. he lies alot. but i cant help it."  so he's hot?  so he's 'the ladies man? sure.  what the f ever.  i've seen this 1000 times.  i've been there 100 times.  and you have to get the f over this man.  he's a bad boy for life and you'll be another trophey on his shelf.  just another story to tell at the bar before he picks up his next one.  if you are smart enough to connect to the internet, you are smart enough to get over this man.   if you do him/it once, you'll no longer be his object to be desired.  you'll be his object conquered..  stay a mystery.  it's so much more fun to smile at him and make him wonder, than to blush and make him proud.
5108
I think a clue could be with your username. It kind of indicates that you like the "bad boy" type. The majority of those are not going to treat you well. Guys like myself are good guys who the bad boys don't have the guts to mess with. You need to find one of those...We always treat our women extremely well and you have all the fun with none of the drama...Lol.  ;)
377488
You know what, I hear about this so much and the same advice I give other's, Im sure your a beautiful lady that doesn't deserve to be mistreated, a guy will use you to their own advantage, sorta like wrapping you around his finger, using you when and however he wants for his own entertainment, we love to see that girls hurt. For most men are childish we guys push the one's we truly love away, and my advice is that you move on, because this guy is obviously to childish or too stubborn to settle down and experience the love that you feel for him, I say that you go out and find you a nice, with the time that you have left, because honestly no guy is worth living miserable for...