My husband recently died of lung cancer and I am so very lonely. I know that most of the guys out there really only want sex as soon as they can get it. I need a little time to get to know someonw because I only sleep with friends. How do you find a friend?
134797
Trust yourself, you are skilled at this because it was no accident that you had a good marriage the 1st time.  You are obviously good at picking a guy who would make a good husband, and are good at the give-and-take of marriage.  You have just been out of the game for awhile, but you have all the skills you need.  It is just a fact that you will have to meet a few dozen, or few hundred, wrong people before you find the right one, hence all your encounters with guys who only want sex.  Keep dating casually, circulating as much as possible, not sleeping with anybody.  You may need to vary where you are looking, like go to church functions or take classes that interest you instead of looking in singles bars and other 'meat markets'.  Keep being critical and rejecting the majority, and it's only a matter of time before you meet someone nice.  Remember, you are good at relationships and have all the skills you need so stay confident and trust your own judgement.
592542
Yes zool, sometimes I feel very sad and loney too.  My marriage of 27 years broke up about 3 yars ago.  Then I met someone, fell in love and got engaged.  He died last September.  Since then I can't seem to "find my place."  You know, where I belong.  I moved to another state but feel like I need to go back where I came from because my children and grandchildren are there.  What is making you feel sad and lonely?  You can email me at watsoq9@yahoo.com if you like.
182672
My husband and I were married for just short of 4 years and together for a total of 12 when he passed away. Having been widowed for just over a year, I feel that I am at least qualified to offer my opinion on this subject. \n\nI have just started to think about dating here in the last month. It is difficult to say the least and you do have a tendency feel as though you are cheating on your spouse. \n\nThat being said, you have to think about what your husband would have wanted for you...would he really want you to spend the rest of your life pining away for him? And should the shoe have been other foot, what would you have wanted for him? These questions we must ask ourselves. \n\nAll things come in good time and grief and grieving are no exception it can take years to heal or it can take months, alot depends upon the type of death, be it unexpected or terminal illness. \n\nComing from the perspective of terminal illness, I can honestly say that a lot of my grieving was done prior to the actual event taking place. That, however does not mean that I don't miss my husband, I do, daily. But, we had these conversations for over 2 years and I knew what he wanted me to do. He felt I was too young and vibrant to spend the rest of my life alone and made me promise that when I felt ready, I would seek out another relationship. And to me, that spoke volumes regarding the depth of his love for me.
14407
I actually found one this way...and he became a boyfriend for a while.  I think a lot of people that go on there are chicken or are just trying to see if anyone's actually interested in them.  I used adultfriendfinder.
199521
How can you be lonely if you have a wife. Take her out places, 49 is not old at all. Do things that you used to do, you guys will enjoy yourselves, and all you'll need is your wife.
277207
Here is my outlook on suicide, it is the weak way out, I've had a couple of Friends take that way out. It is the most selfish thing you could do. I've seen what it does to the loved ones left behind. I don't know you but I can tell alot about you from your question, if you think that the 4 days you spent with some guy you met on the Internet was great, then you really need to ask yourself some questions, first is do I really want to care about a guy that would lie to me? 2nd is any guy that has to get a girl over the Internet is not worth it and he just told you things to get you into bed. And unfortunately there are sick guys that do that. And  3rd If he never talks to you again, So What, you are better off without him. There are a lot of good guys out there that will treat you like the good women I know you are. Your only 23 for crying out loud! You have a long life ahead of you. You will meet the right guy and have a great life! If you are willing to KILL yourself over 4 days with a Guy that lied to you and played you, then you need to take a few steps back and look at things. Do you want to give up the joy of having children? Do you want to give up how it feels to lay down with a man that really loves you? Do you really want to lose the joy of your first grandchild? Life is beautiful! Please think about it.
19580
First, & I don't want this to sound mean in the least, this is not the type of forum to find a mate. If you want to find someone via the Internet, you'll have much better luck with a dating service.\n\nSecond, again, not being mean, if you are looking for a quick fling, then your question (or lack thereof) will probably get you just that but you will also run the risk of a lot of borrowed problems as well. After all, how do you know that the person on the other end of the keyboard is who or what they say they are? True, in time you can find out but how are you going to handle it if you find that the person you've been talking to is one of the "old" people you mention?\n\nMy best suggestion for you is to get out there & get involved in some hobbies, whatever they might be. This will put you in an arena with like-minded people with whom you will already have something in common.\n\nStill, it sounds to me from your details that what you are really interested in is nothing more than a cute, young thing; sorry, but this is the way your details have come off to me. If this is the case, just hit the bars & you'll find someone to warm your bed. If you are looking for something more, however, you are severely limiting yourself by talking so much about younger ladies & calling those of or about your age "old". It would make me wonder why your marriage of 25 years ended...maybe you found her too old for you suddenly? If this happened to be the case, how do you think women will react to learning this?\n\nI'm not trying to be hurtful in any way; I'm trying to honestly explain to you how your above approach might look to women. Me? I'm very taken & you wouldn't be interested anyway since I'm 40 :)\n\nGood luck, whichever route you end up taking...
211789
Not all guys want sex, I know that from experience. And I think you can get a date, but you are not allowing it to happen. Just relax about it. Go on dates, but don't commit yourself to a steady relationship unless you are positive that the guy isn't like your ex. And some men end up being right, some don't. Alot of times you gotta feel the hurt, before you can find happiness.
173917
I think most people (not just gays, though we certainly do have less of a chance of actually finding someone) have this problem. It'll be okay though! Just keep up good spirits and you'll find someone sooner or later.\n\nAnd I'm always free to chat through YIM at SpookySickness or at bluesylvia@hotmail.com
4041
Go to adultfriendfinder . com  \nYou can create a profile and you will get responses!!!  Just be careful and speak on the phone and do some research before meeting people in person.
425478
you'd be lucky to find any romantic men out there.  My husband of 10 years, doesn't have a romantic bone in his body.  I wish he would.  But since I've never been romanced I guess I'm not missing anything.  It sucks that i don't have it.  Oh well.
164224
You can meet decent guys online, and remember you can always chat before you even meet them, or just chat and never meet. If he starts discussing sex or anything else that makes you uncomfy either tell him or change the subject or ignore him till he goes away. Be open and honest, I'm not here just to talk about sex, if you're really interested in ME, then ask me abt me, not what I'm wearing, the ones who are interested will stay and the others will go. Don't give out your home address or numbers, always tell a friend if you've been chatting a while, always tell a friend when you start dating, make sure you have his real name (both), numbers and home address to give to friend, just in case!! I've done quite a bit, mostly for fun, but was always careful. Good luck!
514876
Unfortunately, it's going to take some time for that feeling to go away. I lived with a guy for 12 years, we were crazy about each other, then things got bad and he split. I met another guy just a couple of months later-- I didn't really like him that much but saw it as a way to distract myself from feeling really bad, plus it made my ex boyfriend jealous so that was kinda cool. I just broke up with that guy a few months ago after having a very strange relationship for nearly seven years (he was in prison for most of that time). Now I can feel the loneliness starting to creep back in. There are other guys that I like and I have a few friends, but no one who is "special"-- and I admit I miss that. But I know I can't force it; I just have to let it happen. At least I don't sit and obsess over one person anymore. It took about a year for that feeling to go away.\n\nIt's hard for me to give advice to someone in your situation, because really some time needs to pass before you start feeling better. I would say DON'T call your ex. Do try to stay busy even if your heart's not in it. Try to think of something you always wanted to do but never did before, and get involved in that thing. For me, I found that I really enjoy taking road trips and wandering around, visiting various places, all by myself or with my dogs. Going on road trips was a drag before when trying to get my boyfriend to go with me-- I found I'm much happier by myself and I have a lot more fun. I mean, I was fairly miserable for quite awhile, but one day I found myself sitting in a nice area after having ridden my motorcycle for a few hundred miles; I was just sitting and digging the scenery, smoking a cigar and sipping wine from my pocket flask, and quite suddenly it dawned on me that I was REALLY, REALLY happy. That was my "cure". I had gone through all that pain and I was happy again, and it didn't depend on another person, if you can see what I'm saying. \n\nAnd finally: The internet is actually a great thing for people who are lonely. I have met people in chat rooms and on forums that became good friends in real life. Yes, there are a lot of jerks, weirdos, and freaks in chat rooms and discussion forums-- but at least on the net you have an "ignore" button. It's a lot safer way to socialize. \n\nYou're not alone in this. A lot of people (like me, for instance) have experienced what is happening to you right now and they got through it. You can get through it, too. Good luck!
267424
look, truth be told, some ppl just aren't 'ppl ppl' if u know what i mean... they prefer to be alone and r actually better off that way. \n\nbut if u ask me, even those ppl could use a good friend at some point in their life. it might be during the difficult teens, maybe the late thirties, or even after the dubbed "middle-age"...but that time always comes! \n\nfriends aren't the ppl who hang out with u and make u do drugs... friends r those who hold u up on their shoulders so u can check out that pretty chick/hunk behind the fence, they r the ppl who tell u that outfit makes u look fat (that just means they r honest and don't want to c u make a fool of urself), they r the ones who lend u their favorite CDs and don't mind if it takes u ten weeks to give 'em back, the ones who help u cheat on a test without being afraid they'll get caught in the process, they r the ones who actually take the blame for something YOU did and not regret it, the ones who let u sleep over (and in THEIR bed, too!) when ur wife/husband kicks u out, the ones who play poker with u when ur kids dump u in an old-ppl's home and forget u there...\n\nthe friends u've had so far obviously didn't fall under that category...find urself some REAL buds and use criteria like: same inetersts, similar mind-frequency, humor, logic, and most of all...THAT THEY R THERE 4 U WHEN U NEED THEM!!!
224641
All my friends are getting married too. And I haven't even found a soul mate. But it doesn't bother me. I think everything happens for a reason. Maybe is a good think you did not get married in August. Maybe your fiance wasn't right for you. A guy of your dreams might be closer than you think. There are too many maybes but no real answer. Right?\nI think you should meet new guys, go on dates, and have fun. You don't have to sleep with them. Guys who are interested in you just so they can get you in bed, those are wrong guys. See, you haven't find a guy of your dreams yet. And he is out there. It will happen when the time is right. \nDon't get depressed over this. It is not worth it. Why do we have to get devastated about guys? Why don't they get devastated about us? \nYour friends who got married they found their soul mates, but let me tell you, lot of them don't really tell you the way they feel. Not all of them are happy. And most of them are jealous of you b/c you are single. \nLive your life why you can and enjoy every single day of your single life. Do things. Go travel, visit  friends in different cities you haven't seen in a while. Go to places you haven't been to yet, you don't have to do that by yourself but go with a friend, sister or brother. Even taking vacation with your parents would be an option too.
422820
A childhood friend of mine just died last month in Iraq. He was in the army. I was heart broken when I heard the news. I was friends with him since we were nine years old. He died at 21. He left behind a wife and 2 kids. Sooo sad.... It took me about 2-3 weeks to get over the news. I am not completely over it yet but I used to think about him 24-7 and dream about him every night since I heard he passed away. I wasnt able to attend his funeral but I saw pictures and read an article in my local newspaper. I keep the article clippings in my high school year book next to his picture.
128683
Dating sites are great ways to meet people.  I met my husband on seniorfriendfinders.com, and there is match.com, Dr. Phil is on there now helping, also friendfinders.com - some give you free trials.  I'm so glad i did it, I met the man I love more than anything.