I asked for the divorce, which he doesn't want. He says it's illegal for me to sleep with anyone else and he will use it against me in the divorce proceedings. He says he will respect our marriage vows until we're divorced. I am ready to move on...I guess he's not. NO MORALISTIC ANTI-DIVORCE COMMENTERS PLEASE.
135151
If you are already into the procedings and you know there is not chance u will get back together, forget him, move on it is your life and you have to be happy not him
458861
To prevent problems in the future and to be able to trust him again, divorce him, let him be someone else's worry. I've been there and have struggled with promises all my life, it doesn't work and is now to late to do anything about it. All I have is the "wish I would haves' and the aughts" it's all to late to live a full life, I let myself be cheated.
83486
He may be trying to do either.  Just remind him that you are now ex-partners, and he needs to keep his social life to himself.  Refuse to get involved in this sort of discussion.  Sounds like it was a good idea to break it off.  He doesn't have clear boundaries.
389274
before you go the divorce route like everyone is doing lately have you tried to work it out. if you did then i think he wants to have his cake and eat it too. but at the same time he is doing what he wants r you? you both have to give a 100%. try counseling!
73118
He has some serious problems with control. I would think if this is the way I wanted to live. He has no right to tell you that you can't do something. He is your husband not anything else. K
132906
wow- you're angry.  Sounds like you picked a wrong partner.  But I bet you're no picnic to live with either, especially if ANY of this hostility comes through.  Hopefully you just had a bad day and needed to vent, if not- call a lawyer before there's children involved!
330029
Breaks are ok like this, logical and smart.  He's being very mature.  You not going to like how I say this, and I honesty don't know a better wait, so i'm sorry in advance.  But this is your warning from him if I'm reading what you wrote right, your behavor isn't acceptible to him and he's not going to put up with it.  If you can't control it, you might want to move on, save yourself the divorce later.  Hope you don't, sounds like you lucked up and got yourself a good guy.  Alot of girls would love to be in your shoe's.  Don't blow it.
181326
"I don't want to divorce him over something this minor. (He would be left alone)"\n\nThis doesn't sound minor to me.  I'm 34 and going thru a divorce right now for similar reasons.  My wife and I have been married for 5 years, and I've never loved another person so strongly and intimately; but I've discovered that I'm not sexually attracted to her.  I tried to tell myself that it was a simple problem, and that it wasn't worth ending the marriage; but over time (and through therapy) I've learned that I was manipulating myself, and her, trying to keep the working parts of our marriage in tact at all cost – and damaging our relationship along the way.\n\nMy opinion: you are not responsible for his feelings, and you are not a bad person if you "leave him alone".  He's an adult, and can only benefit from facing this situation honestly.  How rewarding is this marriage going to be for him (or you) if your relationship isn't completely honest?  \n\nCHEAP ALTERNATIVE TO THERAPY\nTry 12 step meetings.  Not AA, but AlAnon, or better yet, CODA if it's available in your area (Codependents Anonymous).  You'll find yourself in a room full of people who are facing similar problems head-on, supporting one another without any bullsh*t.\n\nHope this isn't too preachy.\n\n:^|
543560
I'm sorry to say that he did, in fact, use you.  You were the girl he used to get over his ex.  You were the one who came in handy for the sex and talk.  Now he is doing better and the divorce is closer.  He will be looking around for someone different.  No, he did not get scared because he liked you.  He is now mentally ready to go out and chase other women.  I hate to be rude, but he simply was using you as a diversion from his failed marriage.
227558
I used to practically beg my ex-husband for it... then, after I asked for a divorce, he told me that he was watching movies every night after I went to bed.  (I had no clue & felt so dumb!)  He said that it was because when he was with me it didn't last long (it didn't, maybe 15-20 seconds).  When he, um, took matters into his own hands, he could prolong matters and it felt better.  Then he asked for my help.  It opened the door of communication, I helped with "exercises", but we still divorced.  I was emotionally over him and just drained.  I felt like he lied to me for too many years and he was being selfish.  Don't wait.  Get help now, before it's too late....  What a waste!  We both enjoyed sex - it could have been so much better.
590754
I have been divorced for over 5 yrs now and my ex and mine have been doing this dance until 7 months ago. We keep sleeping to together because it was comfortable, I would call him if I was in trouble, etc.but that's just it. Its comfortable.Its sad but you got divorced for a reason and need to remember that.He is moving on with his life and so am I. I kept hoping we would get back then he would go away again. So I woke up to it. I wanted the fantasy of him not the real him. Please look at the big picture here. You are hanging on to a memory and for that it may even be a false one. You are in limbo and and he is living his life while you wait for him. Do you want to let him have it both ways? Keep you on the shelf and play with you when he wants to walk down memory lane? Do you deserve more than that?If you are meant to be you will be. But maybe you should look in the mirror into your soul and take care of you and grow from this, because that is what divorce is about. You may be very surprised by who you really are. Then what happens in the future who knows? Then again by then you may just have out grew him?\nGood luck
103553
Ummmm, this may be a bit tough, but why might he want to go through that?  I had an old wanna-be track me down and call me in the middle of the night a month after I was married.  Did I want to open old memories with her?  Nope.  Put me in a bad spot over something I was not interested in the first time around.  Forget it and move on.  Your fantasy is probably not his.
217369
I would be P.O.ed in the worst way.  What was he thinking?  I'd give some serious consideration to what he's done.  How many other things has he concealed from you?  Doesn't he know that behavior like that shows disrepectfulness for your relationship?  Clamp down on that now!
190273
If my hubby tried to do that to our son, he would wish like hell he didn't. He'd be finding out real fast I don't play that and he's lost his damn mind if he thinks I'm going to keep quiet about it and step back. I'd fight him first and I fight to win especially when it comes to my kids.
140327
Out of respect for his baby and his wife... leave him alone. You will always be number 3. He is using you and betraying you. How could you allow someone to treat you like that?
570225
What planet are you from?  Are you goinf to put up with this kind of treatment?  Punishing you for what?  I would dump him so fast it would make his head spin.  No one in a relationship has the "right" to "punish" one another.  This is the cra ziest thing I have ever heard of.
447974
Divorce him I think you are awesome darlin .\n Oh yes how's it hanging ? LOL !