I met this really nice guy a few years ago...and it feels like my feelings for him go on and off...now it feels like it's on again...i refuse to say anything to him right now because i don't want to put him through that...what if he is the one i am suppose to be with? I just don't know...\n\nAlso i haven't gotten any real affectionn(sex yes but not affection) from someone in about a year because i am trying to wait on a relationship that is not based on sex only,could this have something to do with how i am feeling towards this guy?\n\nwhat should i do?
134609
I feel you should move on and find some happiness with a man who expects no sex,just cuddling and affection,you have to form a friendship first and that is what makes a relationship...having your best friend for life,you have questioned your feelings for this man for a few years,close that door completly,say a few prayers for the right man to come along and when the time is right for you,it will happen,I was single 16 years and never dated much,now,at 45 I have finally had my prayer answered!Best Of Luck!!!!!!
93556
I have bad news for you: YOU are playing *him*.  He's been nothing but honest with you, and you're not being honest even with yourself.  You know how he feels, yet still keep in contact with him... because you like the attention.  He makes you feel good about yourself.  But you're only stringing him along.
242577
Oh my!  Did u see my earlier question?  One answer had something to do with validation of yourself...she may be on to something...validation of your sexuality maybe.  The guy you have known is a comfort zone probably that you are falling back on...you said dating guy for 7 months, but you don't say love him... figure that out first and then maybe you can find your way...not sure how to answer...I am somewhat lost myself today.
608662
You are not married. Don't feel as tied down as you currently do. I think you guys need a timeout. Stay away from each other for any time between 2 weeks to a month. See how you feel about him then. Take some time to reflect on your thoughts. But state clearly to him that you guys will not see other people during this time period. It's only a timeout. You just need some time to get your thoughts together. Also, you guys have been together for 2 years. I think you will find a way to work out this issue. Best of luck.
103243
Okay, 1st of all feelings like that just dont go away so he probably still feels the same way he just stopped letting it show. and 2nd you need to tell him how you feel. Im sure he will be thrilled to hear it.
432252
OMG!!!! i am in your shoes in the current moment!!! My guy friend of four years lives in Seattle, but is working out here in California. I so like him, but he only admires me as a friend, he loves to hang out with me, even get advise from me!!! what sucks is tht i recently told him tht i liked him & i feel weird & he's his normal self. i think tht a friend is unconditional, but we are trying to put conditions. i just think tht we have to hang in there & hope tht someone will admire us as, we admire them. sooner or later it will come!!!! Sometimes we as humans want to control, when, where & time. We just need to realize tht the time will come. We kinda have to open ourselves to the world & understand tht our love is One sided. Until then we are just hurting ourselves. they r nt the ones causing pain, we r!!!!! Be strong & hang in there. Somedays are harder than ours. But our time will come. Good Luck!!!!!
519507
Considering that he has already asked you out in the past (even if it was a few years back), half of the work is already done. It sounds like he already has feelings for you. I think that what you should do is start talking to him again.. don't just jump right into the relationship, start off talking to him, talk to some friends of his to see if he is single, and if that is not possible.. be like "Your girlfriend's lucky.." and test the waters. Most likely he will then at that point say "I'm single" or "Yea, she is" This would probably be a good indicator. You may not use the exact phrase, but whatever you choose to that extent should take care of that problem. My advice is, gee, just to get the friendship built back up, and get it to where you feel comfortable with him and want to get into a relationship. Just keep in mind, that no matter what happens, it will happen in its own time, no need to hurry things along.. Good luck!
634112
Sounds like you feel he doesn't love you and just using you for sex.  You may have that feeling because he is.  If you feel that way you can't be enjoying your time with him , so do something that you can get into with him. Just spend some time together going out to diner or movies you may need some quality time together and rekindle your relationship.
461821
you two have been developed a mutual understanding which more likely you both feels the feeling of a couple or bf&gf. becuase you've been start as a very good friend and probably a best friend but you didn't realise that you have developed a relationship already through mutual understanding. but you both will feel awkward of your real feelings as you still thought that you are just friend and nothing else but behind there's already a special feeling that been developed. There's a possibility as well that one of you scared to feel this special feeling otherwise your relation as a friend will be broken, but i'm pretty sure there's a LOVE hanging in the air already between the 2 of you. sometimes denying of the real feeling make things confused and weird..wish you luck!
370337
I am actually having this same problem myself. I love him and I want to be with him, but at the same time I wonder sometimes if he really feels the same way. We basically have 1 of 2 choices..... we can stay and try and talk to them and see if it can work out . or we can just let it go and find someone else. \n\nI choose to stay for a little while longer and try to work on the relationship as long as he is willing to work WITH me to make this work.\nI'm sure you will figure out what is right for you. I wish you luck.
421983
WOW! This is CRAZY! I am in the exact, I mean exact same situation! I have a guy friend (best friend at that) and he is a little bit attractive, and I know he is in love with me because he tells me so, but I do not have romantic feelings towards him. Sometimes I get the urge to let things go further (physically) but in the long run, I never let it get that far. I believe, if something is mentally stopping you from going further with him, then you should listen to your gut feeling. It might also make things complicated after you initially sleep together. He'll be calling you all the time, crying about his love for you and whatnot, and you will have to tell him (once again) that you don't have feelings for him. Trust me, this is what happened when I slipped up and accidentally kissed my guy friend....but either/or, GOOD LUCK!!!
187724
I think you just need to come out and tell him how you feel.  Say something like; You know that you were my first love don't you?  Well, after hanging out with you for the past several years, it seems that I still have the same sort of feelings for you.  How do you feel about that?  \n\nIt is ultimately going to be a risk, but think of the reward!  Isn't it worth it if he feels the same way but was too shy, nervous or afraid of rejection like you?  Nothing ventured nothing gained.  Good luck!
191520
I agree with some who have answer your question... \n\n"Does it mean he feels/wants to feel closer to me emotionally, or is it just a physical hunger?"\n\n It’s really hard, but then I won't judge the guy with his real intentions. Because we will never know what’s inside unless we get into it... I mean you'lle never know him or his intentions... \n\nWhy don't you try dating, there you know what would his real intention. Honestly we Guys are physically attracted first especially with beauty and hot body. Love at first sight is lust... a true love is a commitment to once self. (To love a person no matter what... unconditional love... for a couple it should always met halfway...) \n\nRespect is very important it the great foundation of love to last... if theirs no respect its dumb...\n\nDo you like this guy? How much do like him? How far are you willing to give in? \n\nAre you willing to give up emotionally and physically?\n\nSet your limits and make him understand all this...\n\nIf he understands and respect it then you’ll see his real intention.\n\nMay I ask you? Is physical aspect really matters to you?\nIf yes... then tell him. Then you’ll here answer from him...\n\nTo make my answer short... its all up to you... what important is you'lle enjoyed this very moment of your life... used your critical thinking; make sure no regrets in the end... \n\nGood luck hopes some how I guided you with my answer. I would be glad to hear from you soon... Email me @ kennyrobert20@yahoo.com
223234
It sounds like he is really confused right now. He may need space to think things out. Alot homosexual people struggle with their feelings. It is natural for him to feel torn between his feeling and longing for a sense of normality in his life. Alot of gay males try the straght thing thinking that they can have a natural family and be accepted by society but then realise later that they are trying to change themselves. He may be going through one of those times right now. If you have seen him on the gay dating sites that is a bit different. Are you sure that those profiles are not old? some people continue to check old dating accounts just to see who responded. Ask him about them. If he gets defensive, then you may have a clue. Just give him some time to sort things out and if what you guys have is worth saving he will realize it. for now be his friend and help him find hisself. And dont listent to any negativity on here...we dont choose who we love
176764
it's always scary having really deep feelings for someone because it leaves you vulnerable to them. What if they reject you? What if they leave you? What if they don't feel the same way you do? It's all part of love, romance, and life. If you have found someone that you can connect with on such a deep level that you don't have to have a physical relationship, congratulations. you have found what everyone is looking for.
41890
Are you truly attracted to him or do you just feel the need to have a man? I find it kind of odd that you do not wish to even physically kiss him (a sign of physical attraction) yet you feel the need to make love to him when he is not around. Maybe you need to look deeper and find what you truly seek.
233729
Well, if you really feel like you're not into him and the relationship isn't going anywhere, what's the point in staying with him? Go find someone that you acutally like and let him find someone that actually likes him. I wasn't very into my last boyfriend, so I let him go after a couple of months. Why drag things out for no reason?