I found out today I might very well be losing my roommate and boyfriend to the war efforts in Iraq. Thus, it looks like I might very well be in the market for a roomie. Even if, by some miracle, he doesnt go, we've been kicking around the idea of having someone else in the house. I just moved here from Iowa so I'm not as familiar with the city as he is, so the thought of being here alone is a bit...nerve wracking. Even worse is the idea that I might wind up with a scarry roommate IE: likes to smell my hair, stares at me while I sleep, untrustworthy or reliable, irratic behavior or moodswings, violent tendancies, ect. How does one go about meeting omeone in the hopes of having a live in best friend without winding up in a bad situation? Am I better off just taking my chances w/o a roommate than risk winding up with someone I cant deal with or get rid of?
119977
try rent.com roommates section or roommates.com or even Craigslist.com.  This was you can chat online until you feel safe to meet, meet face to face, and then decide.  \n\nYou are over exxagerating the potential "creepiness" of a roommate too...those people exist, sure, but are few and far between.
392728
Good question Amy, Seems as it sounds like you are an older women who has got herself established at the cost of sacrificing a social life in the quest to do so.\n\nI would not accept anything from anyone either so I know what you mean whole heartily, I find that cos you are so fiercely independant that it scares males,well I don't put up with those who want to have meal ticket or cheap place to live or just want to bonk you stupid\n\nI found that going out to certain places where similar ppl congregate  has been easier and you don't get those hangers on.\n\nWe all have our needs ,but again at what cost,seems the longer you leave it, all you seem to get is guys with baggage this I'm sure like you is not on....\nSadly I see this trend  not getting any better but the partner I now have is similar thinking and circumstances.. \n\nStrangely tho I still will not live with him, cos I worked damn hard for my lot and will not give it up easily until I know it is what I truly want..\nGood Luck in the never ending search sweetie..♥
486594
A friend cannot be 'stolen' because one person cannot own another. There was nothing wrong with your longtime companion going over to another friend's house.  The question is: Why would she feel it necessary to do it on the sly?  \n\nIs it possible that you were being too possessive and excluding other people from what could become a circle of close friends? \n\nTry widening your horizons.  Different people can bring different perspectives and talents to a friendship.  \n\nAlso remember that true friendship leaves room for tactful and gentle honesty.  Leave an opening for friends to let you know if something's bothering them, and small problems can be worked out before they become big ones and cause the end of relationships.
567812
There've been some fine answers so far, I would encourage you to ask what God would have you do, whether He wants you to go to bed with anyone at this time in your life. Do you think you can have a permanent relationship with either of these people? I'd really encourage you to wait for the moment when the answer to that question is yes before you take any action.\n\nIn the meantime, you need to take charge of your thought life to avoid going crazy. Sometime when he's not there, before you start thinking about doing it with him, you need to decide on a way of thinking about him that will allow you to keep your sanity, treat him and yourself with respect, etc. And you need to practice thinking in this new way when he's not around until it's automatic.\n\nSupposedly it takes 3 weeks for a new habit to take hold, so there's your light at the end of the tunnel, so to speak. Now, I realize that since he's your homeboy, you might have to get a bit creative to avoid him until you've got that new thinking in place. But I think you'll find it's worth it...
613944
it's possible that this guy is just her roomate and they live separate lives, if you like the girl just ask to hang out with her one day before making a decision if you want to date her or not, if the roomate is there and he acts somewhat hostile towards you or rude then this guy may have some sort of relationship with her and is not ready for anyone to take his place.
207834
1). You need to leave your husband.  No one deserves to be abused verbally or any other way. Obviously he is not meeting your needs, and life is too short to waste any of it. \n\n2). As a single (or separated) woman, you can then decide if you still want your (ex) roommate or if it was just a case of "the grass is always greener".\n\nI hope whatever you do, your decision gives you the happiness you deserve.
146240
No not at all, I went through this same thing a couple of years ago a male frined and I both came outta long, serious relationships about the same time and were feeling quite down and bruised by the whole thing and ended up being together alot of the time talking about it and of course one thing led to another and we eventually slept together and it just became a habit (I know that sounds awful!!) but neither of us could face another relationship at that time and we aren't into one night stands so we'd just hook up have the best laugh and then enjoy great sex before saying goodbye in the morning with no pressure it was ideal, it went on for about two yeras until we both just met people we wanted to be with and then it fizzled out but we're still the best of friends now (purely platonic!!) so it worked out fine.  The only thing I'd watch out for is that you both understand the situation if one person has feelings that the other dosen't have then it will cause problems and you shouldn't do it but if you both know it's just sex cos you have needs then go for it.  Good Luck!!
80945
well my girlfriend moved in a few days after she met her guy. they just /knew/.\nnow there will be some 'faults'... days when you're stressed and put the toothpaste where it doesn't belong... as long as you talk it out like adults, it can be worked out.\nI love coming home to someone.\ngood luck to you both
608111
It is diificult to be with someone in the military (but worth the effort).  If you can't be around all of your friends because you have given your word, I would make friends that you can be around.  Isolating yourself won't help you get through him being gone so seek friends that will respect your relationship and not put you in a position where you break your word.  If making friends isn't an option then try to find a hobby or project that will occupy your time until he returns or you depart.  Good luck.
636613
Damn, stop being so scared. Who cares what your roomates think? Just come out. If they are stupid enough to think you are always checking them out then screw them. Get a different roommate. Im sure there are campus counsellors or professors you can talk to if they do start bothering you because that's not allowed and it will stop if enough action is taken. But I dont think you should worry about that. You have to be who you are. Why hide? You will feel so much better.\nCome out of that closet!
667120
Girlfriend you will experience all of the above! :-)  As far as the boyfriend situation keep communication open and tell him that you would love to try to make it work.  But, have a mutual agreement that if things are not working out so well long distance that you can walk away from the relationship as friends.  As far as the classes, most of them are pre-req courses, you will be fine! It's an atmosphere that takes time to get used to, but once you do you will LOVE IT! Eating habits, college brings out the bad eater in all of us, it will be so easy to grab something quick, which usually results in something unhealthy, just keep yourself active.  Homesickness, yes at first, but it gets easier with time  :-)  Dorm issues, I had a couple, but my dormmated and I got each other through alot! And Im sure yours will too!  Good luck to you, and stay positive!  \n\nMatt
541782
I've had male and female roommates. It really depends on the individual, not their gender. For me, living with a female was better for the domestic side, and living with a guy was a little more crazy. It also depends whether you are friends or just two people sharing bills.
454462
I'm glad to be living with my fiance now, but there have been a couple of times in the past that I wished I was living alone. Once was when I was living with friends who had different standards of cleanliness - they are wonderful friends but I felt like I ended up doing more cleaning than was precisely fair. Another time I was in a relationship that turned abusive right at the end. Living alone was far preferable to that!
267595
Roommate.com is great. I found my roommates on their. Turned out to be a great experience! There is also EasyRoommate.com. This one is also very good. The best is the local community paper.\nI hope that helps and good luck!\nCheers :)
609915
I'm not sure you have any recourse if you have nothing in writing.  I certainly would be sure that someone is around when he moves out to be sure he only takes HIS things.  If you know who he is moving in with, you might want to warn them about this guy being a deadbeat....but wait until he is out of your place so he is no longer your problem!  Learn from this and don't let anyone else room there without having a signed contract that spells out payments, behavior expectations, chores, etc.
541888
Sweetheart, that's a rotten way to live and millions do it everyday..if it is just a question of you liking quiet time in the morning (like me) then ignore the questions and comments and they will get the hint..\ngive off the right vibe and you'll get through. (picture yourself as a skunk or something unapproachable...nobody messes with THEM until they  wanna be messed with)\nIf it runs deeper than that, move out or make him move out, you have to feel safe and comfortable in your shelter or it's not shelter anymore.\nGood Luck
300874
When my boyfriend returned home, for the first few weeks he acted fine, a little different and jumpy, and he spent alot of money, he would just go and buy whatever he wanted, and after a few weeks, it all hit him.  he started getting depressed and wouldnt hardly leave the house. He tried pushing everyone that cared about him away.  Now after a year he still has his moments but for the most part he's doing fine.  He still has nightmares and things like that but the most you can do is be there for him, just let him know that you are there for him to talk to, but dont push him to talk, he will on his own time.  War changes people, my boyfriend will never be the same person he was when he left, but i thank god every day that he is home safe.  Your boyfriend may or may not have the same symptoms mine did, but if you need to talk about it you can im me.  Thank your boyfriend for me, all of the Soldiers are my heroes.