I am 34 My brother's best friend is 22. I talk to my brother's best friend more than my husband. How can I stop talking to my brother's best friend? I cant seem to stop. Help! I think I may even love him.
132833
You need to stop this fantasy ASAP. All you are doing is creating drama - You are either bored in your marriage, or are having problems that you'd rather avoid. Maybe you're thinking he can get you out of a situation, or "rescue" you in a sense.....Maybe you're not happy with where you are at in life at 34, and are trying to relive certain aspects of your younger life, before you made the choice to become a married woman...? Whatever the case, please recognize this for what it is......An unrealistic diversion from your REAL life. You can't possibly fix whatever is going on with your marriage until you devote to it 100% - And the preoccupation with this young (kid) will interfere with that. My advice would be to come back to reality, before you take this attraction to some other level, and come back asking what you should do then........
356233
So what.  Friendship should not have that kind of boundary.  I unfortunately seen what has happened when something like this happened.  My ex-husband always said "I don't know what I would do if he found out one of his friends was gay."  Well back in 84 we found out my brother (his best friend) was gay.  He shut down most of the communication with him, and after we divorced he never spoke to him again.  He threw out a 25+ year friendship over my brothers sexual preferance for no reason.  My brother never came on to him or brought any "dates" around when they were room mates.  Don't throw it out, it hurt my brother till his death 2 years ago to loose a close friend because he was honest.  So what if he is Scots, sexual preferanc is not set by ancestry.  Accept him and let him know that you will still be his friend, also be there for him to talk to, he will have a difficult road and any support even to just listen he will appreciate.  Not only that you will learn more about him (mentally) by doing so.
25025
I agree totally with ft402003, and I might add that I was just platonic friends with my husband for TEN LONG YEARS before we knew we loved each other.  TEN YEARS!!!!  That is a long time, buddy.  My sister told me once that friends make the best spouses, and I thought YUCK!  But, she was totally right.  When you talk to your "friend", you might tell her to not be afraid to go a step further, and to not be repulsed by it.  Let her know that you are just as afraid as her.  But, whatever you do, don't let her get away.  It is better to tell her how you feel than to keep suffering.  And if she doesn't go for it, then it is HER loss.  Not yours.  HERS.
12311
Oh wow! This is a difficult situation to be in. First, try to be in the shoes of your boyfriend and see how it feels like. Second, try to weigh your feelings towards the two men and although the response you get might seem hurtful for somebody  involved with you, it will make you happier in the end. If you're close to your brother, then it would be nice to talk to him about it, he knows his friend that much anyway... Good Luck and I hope that you feel happy in love! :-)
104520
OK everbody knows, does the one losing the interest know everybody know's. Ask for your best friends advice on her brother and see what she says.
41766
I have had the same three best friends since I was four and now I am 26. They are all very awesome but we have gone through the all the stuff you can imagine would mess up a friendship. Dating the same people (one even married an ex of mine), working together, living together, not paying back money, and having other friends, all kinds of stuff. But the good stuff way out ways the bad and if they are true friends you get through it and get over it. My friends are always there for me and I would be lost with out them.
219583
My best friend is a guy, and I've been a little in love with him for years.  He'll make some woman a great husband someday.  BUT... We've made it clear from the get go that there won't ever be more than that.  We're TOO close and know each other too well, in some ways.  And the chance for ruining the wonderful friendship we have? No way.  You have to be up front and completely honest.  I think your friends were not mature enough to deal with their feelings.  There's nothing wrong with having strong feelings for your best friend, or even saying so, but to try to hide them or avoid them will just breed resentments.  Next time you get close to a female you don't intend to date, make it clear up front, letting her choose whether to stick around.  Some will, some won't.  But at least then you don't lose someone that you're already quite attached to.  Been working for my friend and I for 13 years now.  Good luck.
156466
that is how life is, people come in and leave our lives, but since he is your best friend and you do love him let him go and encourage him to make a new life for himself, and you do the same, I know you are hurting but it will subside.  A wise man told me that if you can count all your best friends on one hand then consider yourself very lucky.
193033
My best friend name is LYDWINE. I call her DOULY though. We've been friends since I was three, I'm 24 now. Our relationship is very strong because we have not seen each other for almost seven years because I moved up here but we kept in touch and we're still best friends and we love and appreciate each other
651960
Did I ever....had a friend that I wanted as more than a friend.  My friend moved out of state,  and we kept in touch my telephone for about two years.  Through a couple more moves on his part and some on mine,  we lost touch, for three yrs.  I connected with a  friend of his and found out he'd be in town,  so we made plans to see one another,  only to have a blizzard cancel plans,  he flew out of town the next morning.  When he got home,  he told me on the phone that he'd been in love with me for the last five years or more.  Time goes by,  we lose connection again,  but for FIVE years this time.  We've now been reconnected by phone and internet for about four or five years.  He begs me to move accross the country with him (even with my five kids, lol, he must have it bad, huh??lol).  I told him he should've said something while he lived here,  but he thinks I should've been the one to say it.  Just one of those things that makes ya wonder????What if????  The bad thing about missing the chance,  is that I know we would've been perfect for eachother.  The good thing is that I am in a happy marriage with five wonderful children.  Regretfully,  there's just no way to ever know,  leaving me with more "wonder" than I really care to have sometimes.
460905
You know the rule about a bf, once you stop looking it will just happen?  Treat this the same way.  It's just another form of a relationship.  You might also want to take a look at what kind of best friend you really want and be that person for other people.  If you BE a best friend, then you'll be DOING best friend things, then you will HAVE a best friend relationship.  I call this the BE, DO, HAVE theory.  Often times people feel that they HAVE to have a best friend relationship IN ORDER TO DO best friend things which in turn will make them BE best Friends.  (HAVE, DO, BE) That is bass ackwards.  If ever the words "IN ORDER TO" are in the same sentence as a goal, the goal will never be reached.   Hope this helps
286095
I currently have this problem... and know exactly how you feel. My best friend is in love with me and has been for about 10-11 years now. I tell him I don't see him that way and that I love him but not in those ways. But that doesn't stop him from trying... and he is moving down to my area with all the hopes that we would be together...
285450
Honey, female to female: If YOU feel uncomfortable, then YOU ought to stop hanging with them.  God forbid something happen to you while your with them, and your brother is not there.  Stop while your ahead.  If its deep enough for you to be asking on here, then you need to stop hanging with your bro.  Get some girl friends. I don't recommend hanging with only guys under any circumstances, those are the kind of girls who end up getting taken advantage of, by people they've known and trusted for years.
136678
I think you mean your brother would stand where the tradional maid of honor would stand, right? I think that is an AWESOME thing to do. I agree that you may look down the road and not be friends w/ the woman you chose to be the maid of honor. And to have your brother to be your husbands best man would be like your brother was standing up with your fiance'....I'm not sure what you would call him...Man of Honor? Good luck, and great idea to show him how much he means to YOU!
632430
People always have some kind of situation like this.  Well I don't understand why your mother and brother would insult her in any way, but that is something that a best friend would not want to here from their best friend's family.  If it hurts you that you feel as if your best friend is not considering you their best friend anymore, speak to them and tell them the complete truth.  Hang around other friends too, and try to get close to them also.  As time goes by people change, but you can't make another person feel the way you do.
598780
this is my story I also fell in love with my best friend after years of friend ship! One day my cousin that at that moment was going out w/his brother told me to tell him that i needed his advice that i was in love with one of my best friends and didn't know how to tell him. he told me to tell him the next week after a long conversation on phone before he hang up i said the 3 words! He called back and ask what did you say i told him nothing have to go! the following week he came and nervously told me the same now we are engage and getting married next July. What I'm trying to tell you is to have fun that day tell him you need his advice on some thing at the end of the day face it! If he says no well you tried and you will leave him thinking he may give you a call later on! I don't think he will forget that day if you make it fun and exiting believe me a guy want someone that gets along and that is fun to be with someone to talk to and shares things in common and after a wonder full day he wont forget you. FOR SOME REASON YOU TWO ARE STILL FRIENDS!!!!
95724
Talk to this boy & let him know that keeping this from your best friend is making you feel bad about the whole situation. In a way you're lying to your best friend & talking to this boy will help you figure out what the both of you want to do. I'm sure he's afraid of letting it all out in the open as well is just making sure that both of you are truly into one another. Talk to her about & see if she's okay with it. If she's truly your best friend she will be happy for you & her brother.