i say he should be happy with the discovery channel, but he says it isn't "hardcore" enough for his tastes, rarely has any hot badgers, and never shows any penetration. i think he has a real problem, and i'm tired of cleaning up all his crumpled tissues that he leaves on my desk, it's gross. how do i deal with this like a mature adult?
137857
Well my pet badger, Esmeralda has a habit of dating porn-obsessed male badgers. It took me three solid months til I solved the problem. \n\nShe was dating a badger, Dave, who she really liked and would happily settle down with and have little baby-badgers. \n\nBut then she found out about his problem and she wouldn't eat her Shreddies for days. I had to buy several boxes of Crunchy Nut just to get her confidence enough to go outside.\n\nSo anyway with the help of a scientist called Jeff McDoodle I met while shopping for mousetraps, we developed a plan to change Dave's ways. We got several gallons of petrol, a CD of Celine Dion's greatest hits and Pearl Harbour on DVD. As you may know badger's have a phobia of poor movie-direction (in fact there have been 7 recorded incidents of badgers trying to kill Michael Bay, and 8 more of badger-cide while watching films directed by said "director"). So with these tools we were to bring Dave so close to death that he would revalue his life and see that porn was a waste of time. Unfortunately we accidently set fire to Dave and he died.\n\nSo Esmie got over his death pretty quickly and moved onto Frank, who also had this problem. However after the treatment he realised he didn't really like Esmie and ran off. But finally we succeeded with a nice badger called Frederick. And they are planning on marrying in an underground train on the Piccadily Line, London.\n\nI hope that helped you. Just remember to wear ear-protectors when dealing with the Celine Dion CD.
567480
I think you should go out and buy a sexy nighty and jump in front of the television so he won't want to watch it so much...That's just one thing, for starters. You need to be spontaneous and go out and do things. Find a hobby to do you both enjoy! Go out with other couples! As far as sex goes, do things with him you don't normally do, you know? But things you feel comfortable doing. Communication is the big thing. Find out from him what he wants, too. Good luck and have some fun!
622592
I think he's self-focused. I wouldn't be so worried that it was porn, would you feel less abandoned if all the sites were sports?  But, the fact that you needed him, and he would rather stay away than do what needed to be done for your child shows a very self-centered, unsympathetic action. \n\nDo you have other examples?  Do you know if this is the usual response, or if this is unexpected?\n\nMy advice is to talk to him, not with accusation, but just tell him you needed him and you feel hung out to dry.  You are hurt, angry.\nStay always in your own reactions, not putting him on the defensive or assigning motive to him, ask his motive because you are hurt.\n\nGood luck
72939
Treating them mean and keeping them keen works for a while, but I think they get fed up with it after a while.  You say he makes you laugh 'a bit'.  Is that really enough?  If you hated his habits to begin with, then you'll hate them forever because he probably won't change.  And you can't just stay with someone because they're good in bed.  As painful as it might be, walk away.  The pain will ease in time.  Find someone who treats you with respect and loves you unconditionally.  Good luck :)
666398
Why are you so upset? He is not hiding it from you,\nso no dirty secrets. Ask him if you can watch with him.\nMaybe the male version of this. You both could have some\nlaughs and fun together.\nWhat do you mean by "Our sex life is regular".\nMaybe it should be less regular and a bit more "Off the wall"\n"Regular" is boooooring! Let him try some of the stuff he\nsees on his computer and maybe you could come up with \nsomething new or naughty too - could be more fun \nfor both of you and not soooooo regular. \nMake LOVE not WAR!!!!
22868
Well involved and never married does not necessarily mean he is a loser. If that was the case then he would be living with his Mommy. Know George Costanza? Seinfeld, maybe he is picky or over critical. Either way nothing is wrong with it, get to the circumstances of the relationships he has had in the past.
363981
Looks like you got lots of feedback on this.  Some good answers, and some not too good.  I only hope that you let him read the results of this question.  It is not to shame him, but to encourage him.  But, if he is not interested in math and physics, then there must be other things he is interested in.  Perhaps he would be a perfect game technician.  Their pays are not very terrible, if he gets hired with the right company.  I wish you all the best with this one.  Do you allow him use of the computer as well?  If you don't, maybe it could help him if you would allow it.  He could meet other kids around his age, or older, who might be an incentive to him.  Click on my avatar, I would like to offer more to you, and him directly.  But we can't use the Q&A page for communication purposes.  I have lots more questions.  Thank you.
615519
Don't understand not cleaning up after himself, so you need to address that right up front.  You sound pretty open to it except for the cleaning up part, so talk to him about it.  Let him know that you understand and believe it is normal, he must clean-up after himself, and offer to masturbate together so he does not feel like he needs to hide it.  Then you both get off together, no mess, and no embarrassment!  Good luck.
436520
Oh, Hon.  This is a BIG one.  We have several issues here.  First, porn should ALWAYS be a problem.  You see, if men would stick to a couple of mags a month, no problem, but that is not the case.  You see, porn is a slow poison.  First he does it every once in a while and then before you know it, it consumes him.  He will tell you he does not look at it that often, it is most likely a lie.  Porn addictions are just as bad as crack additions.  It is VERY hard to break.  Not impossible, but VERY hard.  With this addiction he is taking time away from you and your kids to fulfill his selfish needs.  We he looks at porn, it is mentally cheating on you.  \n\nYou are right, when you leave home, it will only get worse.  He will neglect the kids so that he can sit in front of the computer for hours looking at naked women.  The kids will eventually see him doing it.\n\nYou know there was a situation like yours that was recently in the news.  Sarah Evans (Award winning country star and contestant on this season's Dancing with the Stars) had to leave the Dancing with the Stars completion because her husband has a porn addiction and their young son walked in on him watching pornographic materials.  Her son was devastated.  She dropped out of Dancing with the Stars because she had to take care of her son.  \n\nWhat I am trying to say here is, you children will suffer because of this addiction.  Not only will they be neglected, they will be hurt if they run into this material.\n\nThis porn addiction is about to be kicked up a notch because he is going to go crazy when you are not home.  He will be like a kid in a candy store.  He will have free reign to watch all the porn he wants.\n\nIf you are strong enough to take the computer from him, then do it.  It is not about you trying to be controlling (which any addict will call you if you try to stop them from indulging in their addiction), it is about you taking care of your kids even when you are not at home.\n\nBe warned your husband will eventually want more than the porn, he is going to want to start touching what he is seeing. It is called natural progression.  He has a bad habit that will only get worse.  \n\nYou and your kids do not deserve this.  You are going to be out there busting your butt for your family.  You need and deserve the security of knowing that your kids are not going to be ignored while you are at work.  You also need to know that you man is being faithful to you in EVERY way while you are gone for the day.  He needs to be faithful to you, mentally, emotionally and physically.\n\nBy the way, children are very impressionable.  They stay innocent for such a short a time.  They don’t need to walk in on their father indulging his fantasies with a computer screen, if you get my meaning.  He is getting aroused by the porn, and he is going to want release.  This could be at a time that your kids need him for something and that will really upset him.\n\nTake the computer if you can or if you don’t need it for work, cut the internet connection (but most likely he has downloaded a lot of stuff and saved it somewhere on your computer).  He needs to get into some counseling. So do you.  His porn watching has had to have some effect on you and your self-esteem.  Try one or two sessions.  Just talk to someone.  Nothing is worst than having the man you love constantly watching other women.  Even if it is only on a computer screen.  I wish you the best and God bless.
589460
Ew...I think he's just a big cheese. Who really says things like that without underlying meanings? He's probably just trying to get laid. And I agree with the lady who posted first, I am kind of offended that that is how he described the work we do. My marriage is more like a  partnership where we share all of the responsibilities whether it be child-rearing, house-cleaning, or working. I don't like being described as someone whp has the dinner on the table by five o'clock and has the kids bathed so my husband doesn't have to do a thing to help. That's just ridiculous.
324035
i enjoy his show, but im not in love. he needs to kill some hippies, then i might love him. haha. email me sometime
141801
He sure sounds like a spoiled brat to me. Have brother with the same problem.  Well, 1 thing is for sure: cuddling him like a baby will only reinforce his present behavior.  Forgive me for saying this but his attitude reflects the way he was being brought up.  You might want to explore a different approach than the 1 you guys are used to...probably a firmer approach? you can't be wishy-washy about your decision 'coz he won't take you seriously.  Be harsh if you have to be harsh...if you really love him, find the courage to hurt him for his own good. you can't be there for him forever...if you ask me, son or not at his age he should stop living a parasitic life and should be kicked out of the house. good luck.
120777
Spend more time having conversations with him. Don't let anyone use baby talk on him and don't let him watch shows like the teletubbies
216100
I have no doubt that you have been trying to instill values of the clean nature in him for a long time. Here he is almost 18 and has yet to adapt. Soooo, I am relatively sure you are asking for help, but not expecting any miracles. You know that you have probably already exhausted every avenue that any one of us might tell you. I have sons also, and when you describe your son its as if you were talking about one of my boys. I have no solution for you,... I just wanted you to know you are not alone in this aspect. There is one thing you can "teach yourself" though that might eliminate some of your frustration about him. Don't take it personnel when he does this! Save your energy. Choose your battles! Keep instilling the lesson of what he needs to know, but don't worry about him not doing it. Try a role change with him on occasions,... when he needs you to do something, tell him "just a minute", or "I will get on that soon", or "I meant to do that, but forgot", ...throw his lines back at him and watch him get frustrated. Its good clean amusement for you, I promise!  My boys, and I am sure your son, too, are 'good' people, and yes, lazy people. But as long as he is staying out of real trouble, you really have no problems compared to some Moms out there. They do grow up, and when you go to their homes in the future, he will make you proud. I know!!! You are me, 14 years ago. Hang in there, its going to be alllllright!
236310
LOL@Dee west looking like finding nemo. You are so right about all of this. Maury is not helping anyone. You see even HE is on the news now for sexual harrassment. I used to watch his show faithfully, but all it consists of is UPDATES of old crap, and the new episodes are the SAME topics with NEW faces. The hidden camera shows are snoozers, how many times can we see a car run into a pole? Or seeing people having sex in the office. Then he brings the kids with birht defects and lets them sing and dance, but he really doesnt care about those children, it is all about RATINGS!. He did promise not to exploit people, until his ratings became super low. He wasnt that bad on channel 4, but when he came to channel 11, thats when it got bad. Jerry springer is another show that totally bites. I saw a question on Ask! Yahoo. A person asked were the characters on Jerry Springer Real and they answered Yes. Total bull. Even on Ricki Lake(canceled) a young teen girl received an HIV test and it was negative, however what if it had been positive? I think she probably still would have told. \nOn Jenny Jones, a man had a gay crush on his friend and was killed 3 days later because he embarrased the guy(he kissed him when he had on a blindfold)\n\nI just hate talk shows. I'd rather watch court shows now, and even they are getting terrible(Judge Mathis, does just that, JUDGE people, instead of listening, he always has something smart to say, and he forgot that he was just like some of the people he is making fun of, it took for his mom to be on her death bed to turn his life around, and he is always implying that someone is gay, Im starting to wonder about HIM) I enjoy Judge Mayblean(Divorce Court) I also like Judge Hatchett but she is cocky and has a terrible temper, however she never gives up on the children.\nJudge Judy is just a dried up crab!.\n\nThat sums up what I think about Maury and other talk shows.
122350
you are describing a serious issue. he has a problem and won't change it or admit to it. The denial is bad enough but there are under laying darker problems.. I'd just dump that..he has a form of sexual addiction.. not a good one either
179506
Sit this silly little idiot down and tell him YOUR house rules!!!!!!!!!\n\nNO PORN DVD's\n\nNO ADULT TV.\n\nFor God's sake - he is supposed to be an parent.  How would he feel if another man came into his house and showed his children pornography.  If he doesn't get this then kick him straight out the door.\n\nMen like to make women feel that unless they put up with his little porn collection then we are prudes......BULLSHIT!\n\nI have been married to the same man for 20 years.  We have three daughters who live with us.  If he ever thought that my children should be subjected to images that are not only inappropriate but offensive then it would be the end of him.\n\nNO COMPROMISES.......if he need porn that bad he can make HIS choice and go and get it - but not in your family home.\n\nAlso, it's a little strange, if you ask me, that he like to leave them around small children - are you sure he's ok?