but they dont feel the same and for some reason u cant let go and they tell you what a great person you are but youre not the one for them but u find it impossible to let them go \n\nI was thinking that if i show him all the great things about me and give him time that he would change his mind \n\n\nhe's always questioning me about what I do and who I do it with but then says he doesnt care that he was just asking
132228
From my expericence, I have learned that trying to show a man all of my great qualitites in order to make him appreciate me and want a more serious relationship has NEVER worked.  It only made me seem desperate.  Desperation has never made any person want to be with another person.  Even though you may feel that you can't let go of the person, it would be better to do so.  He has made it beyond clear to you that he isn't interested in having anything more than a sexual relationship with you.  In other words, you're good enough to have sex with but NOT good enough to have a meaningful relationship with.  That is horrible for your self esteem and self worth.  You deserve better and more.  Just because he asks about your activities doesn't mean that he cares about you.  He tells you flat out that he doesn't.  It may be difficult but you should consider stopping the sexual relationship with him.  He doesn't love you or care about you.  If he did, he'd want to have more than sex with you.  I hope that you realize that you deserve more than a quickie when he's bored.
105709
If he was really into you and really wanted to be with you he would.  But maybe he felt that way about you and you blew it.  Sometimes we don't know what we have until it is gone.  That sucks.  He does need to stop jerking your heart around though because you will never move on if he keeps stringing you along.  NOT FAIR.  Either he wants to be with you or he doesn't.  Don't play games.  If you have children you are too old to be playing games!!!!   Tell him honestly one more time how you feel but this is the last time and then you are moving on.  And MEAN it.  If he decides to stay with the new one tell him that you will no longer discuss his feelings for you.  Don't let him jerk your emotions around.
485671
I know how you feel. It seems no matter how much you do for them or how well you treat them they still disrespect you, show too little appreciation, and there never seems to be enough of a  balance, or reward in the relationship for men. IE women take more than they give and think about their own needs more than their partners. I can't give up though because I want to be happy with someone and will keep looking until I find that woman who gives as good as she gets
286166
It sounds like he llikes you. He may be scare he will get hurt again. If you and he become an item then that may spoil the great friendship you have and then he'd he hurt if he loses that too\n\nSo just bare with him he's trying to deal with this and the last thing he needs is to lose another.\n\nThe feelings u feel is just him having fun with his friend and may be u just in hopes that theres something there
534816
If it is not something you are comfortable with, then you shouldn't have to do it just to keep the relationship going.\n\nHave a chat with him and find out if he is understanding enough to give that part of his life up (He should, if he loves you that much.)\n\nIf he's not willing to give it up, then you have to decide if it's something you can put up with, no matter how much you like him or how great he is.\n\nIf you can, then stay. If not, then leave him as you will never be happy with him and will get more stressed out as time goes by.
238910
Girlfriend, your like me caught up in the rapture of uncertainty. We want to leave but afraid deep down inside to make that move. Our insecurities allow us to not be more clear in our train of thoughts and we make sudden decisions without thinking them through. You are scared to let go but at some point you have to realize it is what it is, he is a cheater and he's possessive and somewhat controlling. You left and that was the first  step, now move on.\nMEN ARE LIKE A BUS ONE COMES EVERY 5 MINUTES YOU CAN RIDE THE BUS TO THE END OR DO AS YOU HAVE DONE GET OFF AND CATCH THE NEXT ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
40263
It is a commitment issue . . . since they are already committed (supposedly) to someone else . . . you are not afraid of them getting too attached to you . . . or you hope not.
305195
This guy doesn't sound like he's taking your relationship seriously. He doesn't appear to take you feelings into consideration and wants a life which does not include you in it. He seems very selfish, and you should ask him outright - and don't let him give excuses! Tell him straight that you need to know where you stand with him, and you don't want to waste your time hanging around with someone who doesn't want you around! Take control - be strong & determined and tell him exactly where HE stands with you. Relationships are two-way things, and 'give and take' means from both partners, not one gives and the other takes. Be strong, and if you don't get satisfactory answers, then move on and find a guy who will appreciate you for yourself. You are worthy of better treatment than this guy seems capable of giving you. If you still want to be with him, hopefully he will come to realise what he is about to lose if you leave him. Don't give hime the satisfaction of dumping you first, though!! Good Luck!
189405
If he was really changing, his behavior would not be so sporadic.  He would make a genuine committment to be that same wonderful guy instead of turning back into an ogre.  Most people need something bad to happen to them before they realize the hurt that they've done to others, and change their own lives.  If you stay, you are only telling him that you easily fall for his mind games, and that it doesn't take much to placate you.  But if you go, and I mean seriously go (no threats or promises), you will show him that you are genuinely tired of your life with him that way that it is.  And if he misses you enough (and you should always make them miss you), he will realize his many errors and make a concerted effort to change his life and ways to get you back.  And if he doesn't decide to change to get you to come back, then he wasn't meant for you anyway and was just a bump on your road of finding true happiness.
241919
i truly understand how you feel, because at one point in my life ive been so terribly inlove with a guy and we are together for more than two years. like you i promised to stick with him, and we almost got to the part of commiting a secret marriage, and like you, he take me forgranted at times but often tells me that he loves me dearly. and just like you again, my parents want me to leave him. and then when i refused, they are the one who do it for me. and now i realized, he doesnt deserve me. i thought at first ill never get ovwer him and not think of any other man other than him, but you know? i did, and now i realized, when the relationship is already hurting you and breaking your morale and self-estemm and youre crying more than being happy, then friend its time to go. and i when it comes to money, he will just be reliant to you. if right now, he already rely to you to help him on those things, fact is after you two get married, youre the one to get married and he will just rely to you. there are plenty other men in the world. believe me, ive been ther, done that, i managed to move on. and tell your family to help you. you need them badly, they love you, they know he is notthe right one.
44601
If you can not be who you really are then he has not fallen for the real you. Wouldn't be better to be with someone who likes you for who you really are then having to try to live up to what he thinks you are? If you are not true to yourself then no one can be true to you.
223892
what do you mean he wont let you leave\n\nthats an exuse because it's hard\n\neither do it or dont do it\n\nget some strength and self control\n\nit will be worth it!!!
265922
the question is are willing to stay with him or not... i mean if your not ready to handle a little drama with him then maybe he isnt the one.
167562
That 'magical' feeling we all get only seems to be there when we can't get that special person.  He has been honest with you and said from the beginning that he doesn't want anything serious, so it's all down to you and whether you would be able to put up with what he has to offer. It's easy to give in and see him to get that magical feeling but is the high worth the massive low you could also get. You could be lucky and end up winning his heart but in my experience it rarely happens like that. I wish you so much luck because I know it's a horrible situation to be in.
601348
i can understand what you mean as there was something similar that happened between me & my boyfriend but cuz of different reasons...but it was my boyfriend who was in your position & i was on the receiving end...its very tough when someone you love says that they can no longer be with you for whatever reasons...just because we love each other so much, we try to understand & do what the other wants even when thats not something we really want...our mind accepts the situations & tries to adjust but our heart just doesnt wants to let go...you imagine all the things that can go wrong & also how tough your life would be without that person...this feeling of insecurity & depression is terrible...you also began to question that whether that person really loves you, cuz if yes than how can that person take such a harsh & insensitive decision...all this is just a matter of your emotions & you imagine everything thats positive or negatve...when this happens you try to take yourself away from that person & try to act tough cuz you dont want that other person to know that after saying that you understand, you have so many questions going on in your mind...this happened with me & though i really love my boyfriend i was still hurt tremendously by his decision to break up even when i agreed & understood his reasons...i think your boyfriend also is really hurt by whatever happened...its good that you plan to go back to him...i would suggest that you talk to him & try to get out all the pain he is carrying in his heart cuz of what happened...you'll have to shower unconditional love to make him feel secure with you again...treat him nicely, spend time with him & appreciate his presence in your life...just let him know that you belong only to him & there's no one who can love & understand you the way he does...i am sure you'll be able to do that cuz you truely love him...Goodluck!!
273091
I've been there too. thing is they dont want to work on the relationship. if u have some one that acts like he dont care or that will jes walk off after an arguement, do the same to him. treat him like he treats u. if he stays then he wants to try to make it work, but if he leaves then good. u deserve to be loved as much as u love others! dont settle for less.
228567
I think you are great don't change. Just learn. Do what is best for you b/c no one else will. She obviously has made her choice actions speak louder than words. You've shown her that you care and that's all you can do. You've done your best it was good enough you just didn't find that person who will appreciate it. Keep your head up potna cause you'll get that chance over all over again. But don't you overlook it for someone like this again.