I have been dating my boyfriend for 7 years, its time. But he says he's not ready to settle down. What do I do?
121668
that would mean no more looking on the menue,most of ys are pigs but there r a few exceptions such as i beleive a woman is to be respected,loved,and cherrished.women r gifts that u don't let go of..commitment is a blessing
559133
if he told you he wasn't ready for marriage then he was very mature to inform you of such. trying to apply pressure to him to make him do something never works. i would advise you both sit down if possible and talk things out
662310
GIVE IT TIME... however, if he's not ready and you are, it may be time for you to re-evaluate your relationship.
333295
I heard from a guy once that after 6 years if he didn't ask you to marry him he most likely never will.  Either because he does not believe in marriage or he just doesn't see it with you.  So if that is really what you want and you are over 26 yrs old you can either give him an ultimatum but you need to stick to it or just keep being his 'girlfriend'.  But if you stay with him make sure it's not because he just doesn't see it with you because he will leave when he finds the one he sees it with.  So make sure you take care of yourself 1st.
112903
If he is dead set on not getting married, then agree to disagree and move on...look for someone with the same future goals.
370382
If you have to think about it, then you aren't ready. There is no harm in waiting.  If he loves you he will wait and be patient.
277482
I think it is time to Chirp or get off the branch.  My wife and I had been dating for a while, I really loved her but did not ask her to get married.  She finally gave me a date by which to chirp or to get off the branch.  I chirped and it has been the best thing I ever did.  We have been married for many years and are more in love today then ever.  I would openly discuss your concerns with him and then let him know that you need commitment by say June 30.  If he doesn't make the commitment, move on to someone that truly loves you and someone that will make that commitment.  Too often, we stick with someone that we know is not right for us and then the years go by.  After it is too late, we realize that life is passing us by and we are in a relationship that is going nowhere.  I think people need to list the things that they want in a relationship/mate and then if after a few months they do stack up, they need to move on.  People really don't change much with time--if it doesnt feel right at first it probably wont get any better with time.   Good Luck!
638302
Ouch.  I am sorry for you.  In relationships, people don't always want to spend all of their time together.  What is interesting about our comments is that after 2 years the "honeymoon" phase of infatuated love is over.  So the real relationship starts, and this is when most relationships fall apart.  I don't know if I would get over the fact that he slept with someone within moments of the two of you have a  possible break up.  You need to talk to him and figure out what is really going on.
472804
Ok- you may not like what I am going to tell you but this \nrelationship isn't really what you want because if it was, you wouldn't have all these doubts.\n\nSweetie, you need to value yourself, your life, and your time.  You can't be this man's rescuer.  After 5 years you've got to recognize that if you plan to live a fulfilling life, stop doing what doesn't work.
20281
Not wanting to start over is never a reason to stay in a relationship. 30 years old is still young. You didn't say what kind of troubles you had. Did he cheat? Was he abusive? Think of it this way: Can you imagine spending the rest of your life with this one man? Forget about feeling comfortable in the relationship because you have been together 4 years. Aside from all of that, you need to ask yourself if you can truly see yourself being happy with this guy for the rest of your life. If the answer is no, then maybe you need to take some time away from the relationship. Or maybe you are just going through a bored phase now that things are back to normal and there is no drama anymore. Just think deep within your heart and you should be able to find the answer. Good Luck!
325139
i think you need to have a heart 2 heart talk. lay you cards out and be open with him. just because you dont spend time together like you used to dose not mean it should be over. in relationships things change and the only way to keep the rship alive is to adapt to the change. maybe he thinks you are the one who is changing. you will never know if you dont find out. if you care about him you wont let him go. good luck
209020
since you have been a couple for two years I think you owe him the courtesy of telling him that you want to part company.  I don't think you need to be cruel and say you found someone else all ready, if it is not necessary.  The relationship is stale and nothing is more demeaning to both parties, than just keeping someone around because they are comfortable, and better than no date, or cowardice of the stating former.  Not only should you want more for yourself, you should respect him enough to want more for him.
594013
I have been in your situation before. To keep things settle and not push him away, it will be best to leave things as they are and let time change his mind. Let each day go by and then he can realize the true you, well i am not saying that you are not being true, but he will realize that you are not out to harm him in anyways and the same for you from him. I know it will be hard not to mention it at times, but a man doesn't want to feel rushed into things like "commitment". Some are just terrified of it. Continue to have an open communication level with him so he knows that he can trust you. Good luck...and hang in there.
432935
For your sake and his, both of you need more time. Although you don't feel that you need the extra time and that you are sure of him, the fact is that he is not absolutely sure at the moment. I know that hurts but you need both to agree before moving forward. Here's what both of you can do:\n\n1) Agree on taking more time. Also agree on a timeframe to review the situation and decision on the marriage plans. Could be 1 month or 3 months or longer\n\n2) You mentioned "spiritual beliefs". Try going for marriage counseling. They should help you and your boyfriend to be more sure about each other.\n\n3) Spend time really getting to know important things about each other. For example, does he/do you know each others':\n- Greatest fear\n- Biggest wish for yourself/each other\n- Strongest childhood impact\n- Parental expectations\n- Short/mid/long term financial plan and management\n- etc\n\nAnd if he really has a psychological disorder (OCD), he should treat it, be it spiritual healing or the psychologist.
664001
Okay, how about you stop worrying about what he wants?  What about what you want?  How old are you?  Have you even had a chance to experience life?  It really sounds like he doesn't know if he wants to be with you or not but is going to continue stringing you along until he can make up his mind.  What are you going to do if he comes home, gets you pregnant and then decides he's not ready to be a husband and father?  Where does that leave you?  Can you be absolutely sure that he will not do that?  If the answer is no, then maybe you need to tell him that you need things to slow down. You don't have to let him call all the shots.  You are a person as well.  You have a right to decide, for yourself, what you want out of this life. There is much more to experience in life than being someones girlfriend/wife/mother.  Don't get me wrong, I am married and have a beautiful little boy, but I experienced life for myself before I did so. And we were married 7 years before I got pregnant so we could experience life together.  I wish you luck and hope you make the right decision for you!
525014
6 years is a pretty long enough time to know whether or not you want to marry someone. I have observed from numerous relationships that guys keep some women dangling; and then they will meet one particular female that they just know right away that she won't be allowed to get away. I think you two need to have a real heart to heart talk, but in person. Long distance relationships are extremely difficult, especially being faithful; emotionally and physically. Be honest, tell each other how you feel.  I wonder if you guys seriously voiced your goals in the begining of your relationship. I'm guessing that you didn't expect to be waiting this long. Don't be afraid of speaking candidly, this is obviously making you uncomfortable as well. Life is way too short. Maybe there is some fear on his part that he hasn't expressed to you, something he thinks he would like to achieve before he settles down. It's good to have plans, but sticking to the exact order of those plans can cause you to miss out on some really great life altering blessings.  Ask him if something happened to you and caused you to not be available to him , if he would regret not taking that step to marriage. Sometimes we don't realize what we have until we no longer have it. Listen to his verbal and non-verbal responses. If you still don't feel confident and satisfied with the decision made you may end up waiting even longer. Are you willing to put your life on hold for someone who may just not be mature enough for that type of commitment any time soon?
284008
If he really loves you then he will understand your fears and be willing to wait until you are ready.  If he is not willing to wait until you are comfortable with this then you might want to question spending the rest of your life with him.