to have sex like talking about it he works 80 hrs a week i pick him up and drop him off so i know he isn't cheating there are ways to tell. I asked him if I can have a toy for the times he doesn't want to have sex but he said that he would feel like i am cheating on him. but what am i going to do I can't cheat on him because I love him but I fear i that i might because of the lack of satisfaction i get. also why am i horny all the time?  shouldn't he be the one . We are only 28 years old. HELP
125039
If he won't let you get a toy, tell him that you are having some slight back pain and could you get a wand massager (the kind that plugs in).  Get the Hitachi Magic Wand Massager and when he is around use it for your back.  When he isn't around, use it to get off.  My wife can have an 0rgasm in under a minute with this thing, it is so strong.  And she keeps really, really happy with it.  \n\nOr just really tell him how you feel and that it isn't cheating, just that he never gets you off but he gets to have his 0rgasms, so it is very unfair.  Just tell him you'd like one small di1do, or a magic bullet, or the wand massager I mentioned above.  \n\nI wish my wife could be more horny like you, she never really wants sex with me, even before I got her toys.  I want it several times a day.  Such is life, eh?  And we are 28 too.
575773
Leave him.  Lots of guys can't stay up long enough for good sex.... while that's not a good enough reason for you to leave him, it is not a good sign.  Since you said he was your first, he doesn't sound very satisfied at all.  Despite what he has been telling you this is not your fault.  You are under no obligation to have oral sex with him.. no matter what he says.  I hope he didn't pressure you into having sex with him in the first place.  It sounds like this guy is not in the relationship for the right reasons, and can't make it a pleasurable experience for you.  Get out now and find someone who respects you.
78320
Those indicates that he loves you. My advise would be, to get more intimate with him, just the way he wants you to, and see how he reacts. Even after doing as he wants you to if he questions your work, then he is just saying things, and not being original. I think that's the only way you can surely test if he is being honest with you or not.
19706
I agree with the previous response. There should be something more to this relationship than sex. When you guys aren't sexin' what's his conversation like? Does it go beyond sex? If you're trying to be with this guy in the long-run you've got to look at when all the sex dies down & Viagra isn't working--can he entertain & please you mentally? Can he love you without the sex? \n\nOther things to look at is if he seems bored with you if you're not giving him sex? Does he take you out in public? Or is this strictly behind the scenes? Does he call you just to talk or check-up on things? Or does he only call when he wants the booty?? There's a lot of things to look for in a man to tell if he's strictly about sex, but you've just got to open your eyes & see. I waited almost 1 yr. before I gave up any sex, becaue I had to be absolutely sure my man loved me for me. Not for my puss puss.
646630
Before you do anything else: he didn't actually cheat, and he didn't hide his activities well enough to keep you from finding out -- and may not have been hiding them in the first place. You're both also quite young (still in college.)\n\nHave you considered that this was his way of getting your attention, letting you know he's not happy and trying to get a dialog going? Granted, it's not a SMART way, or a GOOD way, or a RECOMMENDED way -- but it certainly got the conversation started, and he had the chance to tell you what's bothering him: his self esteem is suffering in this relationship, and he feels compelled to seek out someone else to make him feel good about himself again.\n\nSo the real problem isn't the "cheating/not cheating" thing: it's figuring out why he feels this way, and trying to solve the problem. It could be as simple as You Have Son, He Feels Neglected, He Seeks Other Activities, You Try To Restrict His Activities, He Feels Like A Child Instead Of A Man (YHSHFNHSOAYTTRHAHFLACIOAM for short -- heh.) It might also be more complicated than that. The important thing is that he's now told you, so start dealing with it.\n\nThe fact that he's been a perfect husband since suggests that you may not actually have a problem -- it may be that he's felt unable to tell you how he felt, and now that he's told you, he feels much better. It might also mean he realizes that he's accomplished something by telling you, and now he's being good while you figure out what to do next.\n\nFor what it's worth, it is quite typical for a man to feel neglected at first, when his first child is born, because his wife is now a mother, and has only so much time and energy to pass around. Typically, guys will find other things -- and people -- to give them attention until the baby-rearing responsibilities start to wane and their spouses have more time to be a wife again.\n\nCase in point: when my twins were born, I started hanging out with a girl I worked with. Did we have an affair? Hell no; no offense to her, but we wouldn't hook up if we were single, we're not compatible people. What it did for me was exactly what I've described: it gave me the comfort of knowing that, even though my wife couldn't give me attention right now, at least someone else could. Once my kids got a little older (a few months), I stopped hanging out with her.\n\nRecently I had a conversation with my mother (she and my father are still married); it turns out when my oldest sister was born, my father started spending time with a woman -he- worked with. I know from talking to him that is was similar to my situation; it just gave him the attention he needed while my mother concentrated on the baby, and when she gave him attention again, he stopped hanging out with her. No affair, nothing inappropriate; just a temporary wife's-attention-substitute (companionship attention, not sexual or affectionate attention) while mom was learning to be a mom. Nevertheless, when he first started doing it, my mother worried that he was having an affair; she decided to trust him eventually, and all was well. Interesting point of fact: until this conversation almost fourty years after this happened, she had a tinge of doubt, that perhaps he had cheated; after I told her about my activities after my kids were born, she finally let that last bit of doubt go.\n\nFinally: remember that having a baby is HARD. You know this, because you've been through this, but realize that it's hard on the father as well. It doesn't make sense, because we didn't go through the physical trauma, but between the lack of attention, the huge increase in responsibility, and just plain old lack of sleep, we men are quite the disaster for the first few weeks or months. Bear with us.
12962
I certainly couldn't argue with your sexual prowess, having no personal experience with you from which to draw from. So I'll start by just believeing that it's at least close to being true.\n\nWhy does he cheat? You say you only do what he asks you to do. I find this statement somewhat odd and I am not sure exactly what you mean by it. Without more information it's hard to give you a "real" answer but, here are a few possibilites (I'm not implying that any of them or all of them are true.)... Maybe he feels neglected in other areas of the marriage? Maybe he married young and feels like he missed out on being single? Maybe he disagrees with your statement regarding "sexual prowess"? Maybe he is going through a mid-life crisis?\n\nIt's hard to give you a good answer without more information. Post more details or drop me an email, I'll help if I can.
31024
Are you taking care of your man at home? Most men who have healthy sexual relationships at home do not cheat. When women withold sex from their partners they will seek what they want elsewhere. if you have no solid evidance of him cheating,  stop looking for him to cheat and make his time with you extra special.\n\nIf he offers it to you and you do not want it, he may give it to someone else.
77834
it's your life, and you should feel fine doing whatever you feel like doing. it's noones buisiness what you do in your sex life. good luck!
62961
It could be he is stressed out about his work,or overly tired,you should really sit down and try to have a conversation with him,and see if there is anything going on in his life that he hasnt been able to express to you.Different people have Different sex drives as well,you really need to work it out with him and compromise.Let him know how your feeling.Also I reccomend that you consider marriage,sometimes the guilt people feel shacking up affects the sex drive.No offense! Good luck!
13872
It's funny sex and love are two different things. I'm sure he isnt trying to hurt you,but he is insensitive to your feelings. You should tell him what you want...not what you don't want. Part of being satisfied is rolling with what turns your partner on so they are satisfied. It's much easier to get yourself off if your partner is happy. Not to reward him for being selfish, but I would give a good acting job just once to see how he reacts if YOU are the one that is getting off to porn.
432024
If you really want to stay with this guy then you can work around the sexual problem.  There are many ways to gain your pleasure if you just play around a bit.  Step outside the box and do things a bit differently.  Always remember that the grass is not always greener on the other side.  Sounds like you have found a great guy.  We all have faults.  No one is perfect.  Good Luck!
260466
Until you said "When I am more than willing to have sex and try new things all the time?" I thought I had the solution for you.  If he's not fulfilling your sexual needs you need to drop him.  Let him play in cyber land and find someone that can appreciate a real woman.
564806
First, you need to explain to him what he does and how it makes you feel.Honesty and communication are the most important part of any realtionship.Next, the bedroom.Spontaneity and variety.Always mix things up.Never plan it.Try different things and if your open to it, toys.Life is short and a marriage is very important.I think keeping it fun will keep you both interested and actually enhance your sex life.BUT, you need to communicate there too.Talk to him and see what he likes, what he dosent, and where he draws a line.Maybe find out what his fantasies are(doable ones).This will definitely keep your sex life interesting.For toys, try online ordering(very discreet) or if you want to go look, try Spencers or Priscillas.There are many adult stores  that have womens interests in mind too.Have fun and congrats on your preganancy.
273301
that just means you have the right guy. you should be ignited by the one you are with. if you arent then it would be time to go elsewhere. he should be happy that he turns you on so much. he is just joking with you about being the only thing you need him for. dont take it seriously. he probably considers himself the luckiest man on the planet, and he should. there are man all over just wishing they had a woman who wanted sex more than twice a year :)
452244
It is still cheating.  \n\nMaybe if your man isn't willing to help you with your needs then he is being selfish and you may want to find someone else.  \n\nI understand where you are coming from though: I am in a very happy marriage but I am more experimental than him and I have given up on my experimenting for him.  It sucks but relationships are all about compromise and respect.
266455
mine cuddles with me and only when he too is tired. he is horny 99% of the time but kinda knows when i want it and not. i would wonder what was up if he stopped doing it one day. i tell him when im not in the mood and he respects that..  :)
285446
Wow. Is he such a moron that he can't figure out that you're hurt by his actions? That you're human and have some feelings? How could he think you would possibly want to have sex with him when he treats you like that? No, nothing about this makes any sense at all, honey. Especially why you'd want to be with someone who treats you like this. Of course, it could be that he feels like he's being neglected because of your children taking up your time. Maybe you need to get him to go to couples counseling. But don't stay with someone who makes you feel this way, or you WILL become bitter. Also, don't put on a facade for him, or fake how you're feeling. Don't lie to yourself that things will get better, and don't pretend. I wish you good luck.