Whenever my daughter is invited to birthday parties, I usually by a very special gift for the birthday person. I put some thought into the gifts that I buy. But, I've noticed that when her birthday comes around, we don't get that same consideration. She's received stuff from the dollar store and used stuff. I know that I should not be concered about gifts and its the thought that counts, I understand that, but just curious of what others think.
132899
Whenever I buy gifts, I buy things that I would want for myself, whether they be cheap or expensive.  What you're doing is fine, but if you're doing it 'coz you expect the same in return, that's wrong. Buy the gifts from the heart, not for show and don't expect the same in return. Not everyone is the same, but do your bit and don't worry about others. Pretty hard to do, but don't stoop as low as others, keep doing your bit....
238074
I would rather my daughter drink around me as a minor than out in the streets with her friends.  I'm not talking about her friends.  Just her.  I'm not saying I would pick up a 6-pack for her at the store but I have told her that when she is ready to try the things that teenagers try, come to me first.  That is how the line of communication stays open between you and your children.
276792
Explain to your daughter why you are doing it.  It's a rough lesson to learn, a life lesson for her and you, but if you are strong in your beliefs then don't back down.  Return the gifts to them, be nice about it, let them know that you monitor the things that come into your house and this isn't acceptable.\n\nIf they are hurt and then continue to give the gifts, that's their hurt, not yours.  The pain your daughter feels now is not your fault either, but theirs, for continuing to give her gifts they know she will not be allowed to keep.  That's just plain rude.
471941
Marcia and the mother were wrong, and this is not what etiquette has come to.\nNo matter what the gift, you should always find a way to express your appreciation of the gift. Even if Sara just called you or sent a free ecard, you should have gotten some thanks for all the time, effort, and thought you put into her gift. \nAnd it's not tacky to give a gift not on a registry. Gift registries are a fairly new idea, and it's only a suggestion of what gifts to buy. It's not a requirement, nor should it be treated as such. The couple selected things as a "wish list" for their wedding, and no one is under any obligation to buy off of that list. \nYou wouldn't think it was rude for a relative to buy things that weren't on your child's Christmas wish list, nor would you tell your child it was acceptable to not send a thank you (card or even a phone call) for the gift. Same thing when you get down to it. \n\nBTW, your gift really showed how much you cared for her. You knew her well enough to know that she was devastated by the loss of all her personal belongings, and wanted to help bring back those memories. I think that by far it was one of the best gifts you could have given. Material objects can be bought at any time, by any one, and a registry doesn't take any thought to buy off of. What you did was a beautiful thing for your friend, and it's a crying shame that Marcia and Sara's mother couldn't appreciate what you did for Sara. Hopefully Sara doesn't share their greed or rudness.
50675
to most of us, well myself i did surprise my girlfriend with a couple of really cool gifts, but i have a question for you what do girls really like as gifts on valentines day?
73969
WOW...sounds like your daughter and son-in-law are very selfish people. I would give them a dose of their own medicine. You don't have to take that kind of disrespect from ANYONE. I would send your G-daughter a nice birthday card and leave it at that. They will surely run to you when they need something, but don't give in. Let them FEEL how they have made you feel.
506886
Oh, Dragon understands.  She always examines the presents her nose gives her to see if any of them might be worth something.  Unfortunately, she has found that even the really wicked nasty looking ones that she'd think would be worth some sort of monetary compensation end up only eliciting an "Eeeeeeeew!" from the store clerk.\n\nWhat good is that stuff if it can't be used as money?\n\nRAWR!!!!
368455
Two very important things at that age.  Do not try to over-impress him by buying something that costs more than he can afford to spend on the return gift.  If you do, it is sure to embarrass him.....    Figure out how much he will be spending on you and buy him something of the same value.   I used to find that the worst thing about all presents is getting something you will never use or do not want.   My daughter had a knack of choosing the right gift every time.   If he has a friend, ask him what might be the best choice...........he is sure to know.........
117684
I'm Chinese - so perhaps this is only the way in the Chinese culture...but if a friend of mine wants money instead of gifts - they do not register.  Yes, you'll get a few crap gifts but (like I said, at least in the Chinese American community) people know that means you want money instead. In addition maybe spread a quiet rumor to friends and family and hopefully they'll pass the word around.
425568
It's more important what the gift is as opposed to how much you spend.  For example, homemade cookies or a book on a topic you know is of particular interest to the person would be more personal (as opposed to $ value).
360446
I take my kids to the store and let them pick it out.  Pretty simple a 6 yo can have somewhat of a clue what they want to get.  You may have to make suggestions and obviously have the final say but let your kid pick a gift.  Not doing so, will give your child the wrong impression.  As long as you are not spending excessively your current husband should not make a big deal out of it.  To me its a respect thing, my ex is the mother of my children and they should be able to give her a gift if they want to and its my responsibility to facilitate that.
442269
MY husband and sons birthdays are.. My husband always got ripped off..christmas/birthday gift.. For our son its not going to happen to him..
333974
Wow, this is kind of an odd situation to be in.  Why should you worry about inviting someone to YOUR birthday party, if you know they will just make things awkward, if not uncomfortable for you and everyone else in attendance?  There is such a thing as being cordial to someone, while not letting them play a passive-aggressive role in your life.  You don't have to be so nice that you're putting yourself and your own entertainment second to this person's feelings.  You shouldn't even have to offer an explanation, because it's YOUR birthday!  You wanted to share your special day with friends, and if that person is not really your friend, then why concern yourself with how they'll feel about not being invited?  \n\nBecause I have a sneaking suspicion that this person will be nervy enough to attempt a confrontation about not being invited to your birthday celebration, should there be any question about who all was invited, why don't you just say it was a family celebration, and that you were only allowed to invite your closest friends?  That isn't much to argue over, because you're bringing your family members into it, which would seem to indicate that there were already a number of people in attendance, aside from your chosen few [close] friends.\n\nBest wishes, and Happy Birthday.
478408
My family is going through some financial strains this holiday season, so I told my husband not to buy me any gifts. He agreed. I immediately felt disappointed, and I imagined Christmas morning with no gift under the tree -- how sad I would feel. I wish I had suggested a dollar limit, even if it was just $10 or $20. I would have been quite happy with a DVD, book or a music CD. Just a little something to celebrate the love. Thanks for asking the question. It got me to own up to my true feelings. I think I'll let my husband know what they are and make my suggestion of a limit. :-)
359859
I always have this problem too. What I usually will do is get him a gift certificate-this year its $100 to Best Buy. I actually think that is what it was last year too LOL or maybe it was $50 last year anyway...but for him its the perfect gift. And that way I do not buy him something his family members have already gotten him or he already got himself. I will also have him pick out one thing that I will just hand him. And then will get him something smaller wrapped too.
258615
Yes, it's wrong. Your son deserves his own new presents. If you want to pass on the older stuff to him, do it, but not as his birthday present. He's going to feel cheated and resentful. As well he should!
137920
Sometimes I give people things that I can, in turn, use myself. For instance, if I give a friend a fantastically cute shirt I usually give it to them on a condition: that I can borrow it. However, I don't usually let anyone borrow my things. I want credit for my cute and unique clothing, I don't want someone else to get the credit.\n\nThis isn't answering your question, only furthering my belief that there is something wrong with me...