Sometimes I wonder if I am being to particular that I push good guys away, becuase they want to go to bed so quickly.Am I wrong in wanted more than just somenone to share my bed with?\nI see other woman and they dont seem to lack male company, they go on dates, but I seem to sit at home while they are out having a wonderful time.\nAm I doing something wrong? I am so confused and lonely, and wondering what I need to do, can anyone out there help me? \nIn todays society is it excepted for everyone to go to bed so easily?
121443
girl i know exactly how you feel!!!! ive been married 10years and very lonely... dont get discouraged!!! alot of women may have alot of male companions but ask yourself ARE THEY QUALITY MALE COMPANIONS. ive thought about leaving my husband many times, not for any other reason except we have no quality time together.... i stay because i dont want to CATCH anything, if you know what i mean... you can go have fun with friends and eventually youll  find someone. dont go sleeping around either.. ok..
310099
It sometimes gets discouraging doesn't it?I completely understand what you are saying.\nFor me it has taken realizing that the right person for me is not in my town and most likely not in my state.Opening up to the possibility of the right person being in another state widened the potential matches.\nI guess that is not for everyone,but I did not want to miss out on the right person just because I was stuck on thinking they are near by.\nI wish I had the answers but I don't all I know is sometimes we do need a break to just "be" as the search can be exhausting on soo many levels.\nI know many people will tell you to stop looking and the right person will find you,but what if everyone just sits back and stops looking??LOL I am not sure how that would work then lol\nBottomline you have to do what feels right for you :)
64571
Wow, that's a complicated problem.  It's going to be hard to try to answer this because I can't see the details when I'm typing.  \n\nYou say that you've been alone for about a month, which is long for you, but that you feel good about it.  Considering that you've been in a lot of unhappy relationships, that's probably understandable.  You sound like you're putting an awful lot of pressure on yourself to find "the one" before it's too late.  Then you take out this pressure, in turn, on your boyfriends.  I think in your concern to hurry up and find someone permanent, you're pushing yourself way too fast into relationships, and trying to stake a claim before you really know that you love them (otherwise, you wouldn't get over them in a couple of weeks...)\n\nHowever, knowing this about yourself isn't necesssarily going to help you change.  You could seek counselling, but that's expensive.  Here's what I would do, when I feel like I'm acting in ways that aren't in my best interest (and believe me, that's pretty often): \n\nFirst, take some more time off from relationships to get your head together.  You sound kind of panicky right now, which is not a good state to be in when you're starting to date somebody.  Try to balance yourself a little.\n\nWhen you are in a relationship next, and you want it to work out, you have to think *all* the time about the consequences of all your actions.  Being a good partner is work.  You can't just trust that you're going to act in a way that is good for you and the other person, you have to think about it.  Every morning, think to yourself, "How would I like this day to go?  Do I want to accomplish anything specific in my relationship?"  If you feel like talking about your partner about long term plans, etc., *stop* first and think:  "How is he going to react to this?  We've been dating for X number of weeks.  Is this an appropriate time to ask this question of him?"  \n\nAt the end of the day, think over what you and your partner have done that day, what conversations you have had.  Did anything upset either of you?  Can you do anything constructive to make it better?  Do you see yourself falling into your old patterns?\n\nI guess what I'm saying is, you can't always trust your instincts to work in your own best interests.  You have to put some control back into your mind.  This may not sound very fun, but it's often what relationships need most.\n\nTake your next relationship slowly.  *Think* about the moves you make before you make them.  Give yourself time to fall in love, without worrying for the moment about the future.  If you try too hard to grab it, it'll slip out of your hands.\n\nI don't know if any of this helps you, it's the advice I would (and have, at times) given myself, and it seems to help.  \n\nGood Luck
121466
I was once in that same situation.  First of all you must get your priorities in order (YOUR KIDS).  I wanted to date,so I got my kids on a good schedule.  I focused on them being asleep by 8:00 at night.  When I was successful, that is the time I accepted company.  Whoever you choose will probably be with you.  Don't put that on the kids because a good man will not care if you have kids. I found that if you start the kids' day early, let them outside for some real playtime, give them a good meal(come in from work and cook or start precooking meals), wash them up, then put them to bed (I let them think that they could watch cartoons in bed, it took 5-10 and they were sleep)....They will go to sleep. Be choosey!!! Because you don't want just anyone around your kids.  Working is good.  This means that you can take care of yourself. If the first man you choose is wrong....HOLLER "NEXT"....and keep going until you meet one that you can work with.  You'll be surprised.  (Meanwhile, try to network with another mother that's in the same situation or a smart teenage babysitter or a family member if you can.  Get out of the house sometimes....save a few dollars to pay if you can....BUT ALWAYS WORK ON THAT FIRST THING!!!
107890
we aren't created that way. i, for example am a cuddler. i like to just lay there next to my girl, but i'm not like everyone else, so yea. don't blame all guys. the only time i'd ever just go and something else right away is if i had alot on my mind.
375811
Hope your not complaing young lady ...lol...sounds like ya have a good man there . Men like to take care of thier woman..maybe in return just love him as much as ya can and try to make his time with you relaxing and enjoyable ..sounds like you guys are doing good and that is always a good thing to hear...congrats ;)
285950
Why is this in the singles & dating catagory? \n\nI am guessing you do not date that often.
419973
If you are talking to males online and not in the mood for sex I would move on if you was my girl. You know the real reason you are not in the mood for sex, so be honest with yourself.
612652
Thank goodness you only wasted 5 months with this loser. you've found out that you don't want this one so get ready for your destiny. Get fit and healthy, go the gym, get your hair done, spend time with the girls and have a laugh. you are now free to find someone really great and only your ego got a bit bashed. it's ok you'll get over it. he obviously has so why let him have anymore of your headspace? He was seeing others when he was with you most likely. don't go to bed with someone until after 6 months and it won't happen like this again. if they won't wait you don't date!
187892
I've read some of your posts here, and you seem basically like a very sweet person, so I'm not going to jump on the bandwagon and condemn you out of hand.  I suppose everyone wants to feel spoiled, men as well as women.  I don't think there's any easy answer to your question.  It's not like going to the 7-11 to find day laborers!  I suggest you take up dancing--swing, Zydeco, ballroom, contra-dancing, whatever--something that you can go to alone, meet lots of people, have a good time, and maybe find a decent guy that you deserve.
39181
dude, i can relate. maybe we've known each other from childhood. i am also a ladies' man (not the playboy kind but the gentleman kind) and i've seen and been with women with mates who treat them like dirt. and somehow, i've managed to make some of them to wake up and break up (ooh, a rhyme!!!)\n\nsee, what i do is, i protect the girl in any means possible, be there for her when she need a shoulder to cry on, and probably (but never did) kick the guys sorry a**!!! women are fascinating people that should never be taken advantage of, so that's why i try my best to be the gentleman they want. consistent persuasion might work, and don't let the girl look at herself as a doormat. she should learn to get respect from her partner, coz deep down, we know we only want their happiness...\n\n=P ~^_^~
41537
men are not hard to understand and if u sleeping with them before u can answer your own question some thing mite be wrong with u im not at all talking u down but its some thing u need to ask your self - am i hard to get long with and as for as them treating u bad after bed room well maybe u should not took him there in the frist place yes sex plays bigger part in a mans life than wemen i think  u mite be trying to hard too i find that wemen are hard to understand too so your not alone here but dont give up u will find one u can understand or one that u can live with with out understanding him
21318
WOWOW,thats some disrespect if i've ever heard some!You know about it and confronted them and they modified more to say they are looking for involvement with that person that answers the ad?What are you waiting for to see that person in bed with someone else?Their telling you bluntly they don't want you or respect you enough to be with just you .Also,to do that while,your with someone-WOWOWOW-THAT SAY'S IT ALL-LEAVE!UNLESS U WANT TO SEE IT OUT!IT DOESN'T SOUND GOOD!
498378
WARNING. THIS THREAD IS FULL OF AWFUL ADVICE.\n\nMan to man, let me give you a very important piece of advice. Do NOT ask women about how to deal with women. Women do not want what they say they want. They may think they hate anticipation, but they secretly thrive on it. Anticipation and unpredictability are good. (Although, I think the line about "I wanna ask you out, but right now am not in the mood" is awful - please don't use that.)\n\nThey're probably going to give me thumbs down for this, but I'm telling you from experience, it's the truth. Again, the two points to take from this:\n\n1. Anticipation and unpredictability are good\n2. Don't trust what women SAY, trust how they RESPOND\n\nSorry ladies, I love you, but the guys who actually follow your advice end up being the guys who are too wussy to get a girl.\n\n[See, there go the thumbs down already! Don't believe em, bro! I'm looking out for you.]
516214
If I feel like I'm seeking someone and there aren't any choices that may be good enough, then there isn't any choice to be attached. I haven't met any guys recently whom I was very attracted to. It was like I was looking for something I knew it was not gonna be there, because that's what they are and they can't be changed. So, I wouldn't want to settle for less if they didn't seem good enough for me.
570002
So it is ok when you are tired and not interested, but not ok when he is tired and not interested?\n\nMaybe there is something going on here that isn't about you and your needs...
415484
i've only been out looking once.. \nstumbled upon it twice..and well, here's the thing..as a woman, i'm kind of looking for a guy who is sexual..and is going to give me what i want that night.. \nmindless, mindnumbing, meaningless sex.. but still a good time.. \n\nseriously, the last one night stand (not intentionally) i had was great.. we ended up back at my place around 2..and we uhmm ya know for a while.. and then had to take a break about 4.. we laughed, joked and had a good time before ya know.. uhmming some more..and then another break.. basically the morning ended with a lot of fun..and a lot more of uhmm..\n\nit's like i don't want to feel trashy after a one night stand, but i still want great sex.. \n\ni go into my regular bar..we get a lot of drifters in and out..i went one night with the intention of hooking up with someone..edned up leaving with someone else, and then hooking up with a completely different person.. odd i iknow..but serioiusly, i was determined to have sex that night.. and for some reason it seems guys decide to have a conscience now.. "i don't want to use you as a one night stand.. but can i get your phone number and we can hang out tomorrow?" wtf??\n\nthe next time.. i was just hanging out with people..and it just happend..and it was mindblowing good time.. \n\nso if you're going into a bar with the intention of a one night stand.. i would recommend going to somewhere you don't want to necessarily return to as the regulars will know the story..or go to wher eyo know you're going to get what you are looking for..