Really, why does something like cheating get under your skin so much?  Ask yourself, "What I am pissed about?"  most often we tend to point toward the person who betrayed the other but really, it's a blessing in disguise.  If you are really meant to be with someone, then both partners will not cheat because there's no opportunity or should I say, desire to see someone else. \n\nSo stop hating players, they are the best kind in my opinion.
121013
just the fact that your sharing that special someone with someone else
237349
Take a break.....if it happened once it could happen again.  They say once a cheater always a cheater.  What were the circumstances surrounding the "moment" alcohol, stress, anger etc....and will this set it off in the future??  It could just be a never ending spiral.  And at some point if it does happen again, you may feel you need to do the same thing just to get back at him.  He needs to prove himself worthy of you.  And it will always sit in the back of your mind.  First thing you should do is talk about it again and show him how you are feeling, if your reaction was nothing, he may not think it's a big deal!  Good luck....  And remember there is someone out there that is perfect for you, so if you ahve to let this one go, it might be b/c someone better is waiting!! :)
134120
Different people cheat for different reasons.  Some men aren't getting what they need from their significant others, and other men just enjoy the thrill of it. Of course some just enjoy the change of pace so to speak.  And what you've suggested doing to either prevent it, or allow it to happen, is going to have a different reaction on different people.  If you leave it open a lot of men will take advantage of it, and some will not.  \n\nTo answer your topic question yes I believe there is casual sex.  I believe most men have the capacity to love somebody and have sex with another and tie no emotions to it.  This may not be comforting to most women, but it's often times the case.  What happens when that casual relationship turns into something more is because the man allowed it to, but if that happens there was something wrong with the relationship to begin with.  I'm not saying it's the woman's fault, by cheating you've opened up the risk of that happening.  And contrary to popular belief it takes two to tango.  No amount of being drunk or the skill of the seductress can be used for an excuse.  But if the man is open to it, maybe there is something wrong with the relationship to make him seek sex from another person?
82032
ok, first up, i'm a guy. I've actuall spoken about this to my friends and NONE of us have ever cheated with our partners. The general consensus is that if you want to sleep with someone else, you should leave your current partner. having said that, however, we ALL look at other women when we are with our partners. We just do. I dont stare and dribble or anything but if theres some girl in a short skirt with nice legs, I'll quite happily look. The rule that applies is that it's ok to look. It isn't ok to touch. You cant really expect your boyfriend to go to the beach, for example and just look at the sand, now can you?\nI think  however that this isnt the only issue you have with your boyfriend. if you do have a bunch of other s,aller issues with him but this is just the bigger, then you should talk to him about those too.\nGood luck and smooth sailing sister
87561
Its like this, if your boyfriend is going to cheat he would have probably done it already, but some guys like to flirt with other girls because they think they are players, and others they will flirt with other girl, but they don't want them, they just want to see if they can get them if they wanted them.
630414
Cheating on them emotionally? By being here? I am going  to take a three-prong approach  to address these statements:\n\nFirst, married person is not connected with their mate via umbillical cord - everyone has their own individual bubble that surrounds them and they have complete freedom to explore the world around them, as long as there is mutual understanding of an established committment. \n\nSecond, it all goes back to the intent of an action before we can tell with certainty whether that action extends beyond the intended and consequently casts a shadow on the committment part. . If you are married, it doesn't mean you lose your individual interest and curiousity to explore the world around you, which includes interacting with many other like minded individuals along the way. \n\nThird, as far as message and answers on Yahoo Answers,  if you intend to stay in a committed relationship (that's the premise here), does that mean you are banned from having any feelings for others? Do you not  have friends you care about but on a totally different level? Who is to say we are to stop being ourselves when we marry? Marriage is supposed to add value to our lives and help us grow as individuals. Jealousy and questioning stem from bursting self-centered egos and unless those are restrained, regardless of the committment, any such relationship where these are present is doomed to fail. So why not let everyone use their God-given individual freedom to explore the gift of curiousity without questionining? \n\nLastly, Yahoo Answers can not/should not  be used as an excuse for breaking up relationships which have been doomed to fail anyway long time ago. It was just a catalyst in the process.
437384
Sounds like you're interested in this other person, so it probably will lead to cheating. You aren't being honest with him or yourself right now.
235277
Trust is one of the most important things. If some cheated on me then I'd want to know.  Whether to continue with the relationship would depend on how you found out you were being cheated on. If he or she came to you, then you know this person has a conscience and you may be able to continue with the relationship eventually letting go of the hurt from their indiscretion. But if they never said anything and you found out another way I think it would be best to let go of that relationship because there will be serious trust issues. I personally don't do the whole getting back at my significant other thing. If you have forgiven him/her then it wouldn't be fair to keep bringing it up or punishing them for what they've done. So if it's something you can't get past. Let go.
362981
I'm not one of those people that believes "once a cheater always a cheater".  I think people can change if they are sincerely sorry, and get some help for the problem that made them cheat in the first place.  As far as trusting the cheater, that is something you have to answer for yourself.  Maybe you can't at all.  Maybe you can with some counseling.  You have to make the choice for you.
251756
Okay, I recognize this problem. You are a poly person. You have the capacity to love more than one person. There are many just like you engaging in the poly lifestyle. It doesn't get played up very often, in fact American popular culture likes to pretend that monogamy is the only reasonable way to be. Not to me. I love my girlfriend completely and wish for her every joy. I don't feel some need to qualify my love, or allow my love to be tainted by the negativity of jealousy. Just the fact that you're trying to decide which one you should have a RELATIONSHIP with, instead of simply dating multiple people is because of our society's support of relationships as a form of serial monogamy. If you're not ready to commit, then there's no point in committing.\n\nBut I could be wrong. This is just my own point of view.
106683
People that cheat are selfish; they don't consider the feelings of another person until after the act is done. Then they're not really sorry unless you're willing to forgive them. But don't take the blame for someone cheating one you, it's not your fault alone, you may have missed all the signs, and made it very easy to do but it's not you're fault.
15938
I wish I could say "forgive" and forget. But "once a cheater-always a cheater." Actually, if you will listen to the wisdom that is inside of you, you already know what to do . . . \n\nThe reality is that being able to cheat is a huge character flaw. It means that person does not respect you or themselves. Plus, that person is able to lie and not feel guilty enough about it to break and tell the truth. I am no kid ~~ and if you are young, please learn from those of us who have been around the block and few times ~~ respect yourself and without a lot of drama -- tell the guy goodbye.  \n\nAre there ever cheaters who change? Yes, but you will find that those who have usually had a deep life-changing religious experience. Those who are "sorry" and say "they will never do it again" without a deep internal overhaul, are the ones who cheat again. \n\nI have experienced it all. I have been cheated on, I have been hurt until I didn't think I could hurt any more, I have forgiven, and I have been hurt right back again. This is not a vindictive response. This is a word from one older sister to a younger one -- stay away from the cheaters. They will only break you heart.
228176
Cheaters are HYPOCRITES.\n\nBut cheating has 2 types; cheat for bad and cheat for good.\n\nCheat for bad is, as we all know it, for sure, it will hurt anyone. So don't cheat your BF/GF! Because that is not good in a relationship!\n\nBut there is a cheat for good. Cheat for good means, well, for example, you're actually meet up with you cousin girl, to just discuss about family matter. Nothing more, I mean he's your cousin!. Your girlfriend call your cellphone and ask, "who are you with right now?". You don't want her to feel suspicious because your GF is a really really jealousy person! So you say, "Oh..I'm currently discussing assignment with my friend, John. Why?". \n\nYou're cheating your girlfriend so that she won't get hurt. But YOU know that you're not cheating on her over a really bad thing. \n\nAnother example, you're in a toilet, taking a pee. Your girlfriend call your cellphone, "where are you?". And you say, "Oh...I'm errr...in my bedroom of course!". ;-P
590722
honey, people don't change. once a cheater always a cheater, yourself included.  apparently there were problems with the relationship or you two wouldn't have been messing around on each other.  i know its probably not what you want to here, but you need to move on.
244380
Yes, I think there is always hope and a possibility, but that depends entirely on both people.  First, as hard as it may be, the first round is accepting what happened as real.  The second round is understanding what and why it happened.  More often than not the real reason one person cheated on another is due lack of attention, meaning the needs of one person were not being met by the other.  As busy as life gets in the world we live in today, there is often not enough time to pay attention to and meet the needs of a partner.  That is why it is said that the quality of time is more important than the quantity of time.  The third round is the hardest, but this is the process of forgiving.  The only way to start over or to repair any damage due to unfaithfulness or infidelity is to forgive.  There are couples that are willing to and able to forgive each other, but then that depends entirely on the two people involved.  Is that what they want?  What do they want? Etc...etc...etc...
474165
Cheating is one of the most destructive things that can happen to a person or a relationship.  It's an act of cowardice and happens when a person doesn't love himself enough to expect more of himself.  They rightfully feel that they are a sh*tty person, and so, instead of feeling ashamed of that and working towards improving themselves, they wallow in it and revel in their "badness".  They figure that if they're bad anyway, then there's no reason they shouldn't be completely shameless and callous and go the whole nine yards.  The trouble is that the worse they behave, the deeper they dig the hole they've made for themselves and the more difficult it becomes to turn around and face what they see in the mirror.\n\nCheaters are bad people.  They are low-quality people, not because they don't possess other fine qualities, but quite simply because they have defined themselves as such.  Their failing is in their choice to care about their own selfish WANTS more than about the NEEDS of others.  I don't know about anyone else, but my opinion that is THE definition of a bad person.  At least it's someone I wouldn't want to be associated with.\n\nAnd people who enable cheaters are just as bad in my book.  It might sound strange coming from someone who agrees with swinging, but one of the criteria we have when we had looked for "playmates" was their relationship.  We absolutely refuse to play with anyone who is cheating on their partner, or with people whose relationship is obviously on the rocks.  That, to us, is just unethical.  We work hard at our marriage and have no respect for those who try to cut corners and get out of the work.  \n\nIMO, there is NO justification for cheating.  None, nada, zip, zilch.  There's just NO excuse for lying to your spouse.  I don't buy the "I was protecting her feelings" excuse either.  Your spouse is an adult in an adult relationship; he or she deserves to be given the dignity of a choice as to whether he/she thinks you are worth staying with.  If you're afraid that you're not worth staying with (and that's why you didn't offer him/her the choice), then thurr's yer trouble.
130950
Please what were you doing with him in the first place if you love someone else. that doesn't seem very mature or fair to the other guy. stop playing games with peoples hearts and grow up.stress??? caused by guilt or maybe wanting something that belongs to another!