What difficulties do you find in your relationship due to your partner's illness?  My husband has depression, has begun taking an antidepressant (finally) and I feel like it's taking a big toll on our relationship.  What about you?
123002
my wife has been diagnosed with depression and put on 100 mg of Zoloft. Things have been rather rocky for the last few months around here. I believe she hasn't been making some decisions as rationally as she used to, and our ability to communicate is slipping. we are encountering quiet a few problems lately . I do think some of them are due to her depression but not all of them
503232
After being married for 15 years, my husband started an affair an left me when I became very ill and was diagnosed with a permanent illness. \nOur marriage was perfect too. But my illness upset the relationship balance; I always took care of everybody elses needs first and it worked for all of us (me, hubby, kids).\nHe couldn't deal with me being sick and taking care of things until I got better, so he left for someone who filled his needs at the time. While I was very ill, he also pushed pills on me and did what he could so he could see his girlfriend.\n\nYour uncle was a good man as long as his needs were taken care of by his wife. He is a needy man that just can't deal with taking care of his wife so he rationalized things out in his head and got rid of her. \nSomeday he will pay for what he did.\n\nI hope your family has gotten together to help your aunt. That is your priority now! Get her out of the hospital and help her get better. Hospice is a good choice if she needs a lot of care, but be there for her.
626959
Remember that you said his illness thinks your cheating on him.  You need to have a heart to heart talk with him (when he's not having one of his "episodes") and tell him of the importance of his medication and his illness is not his fault and that consequences may involve you and daughter living apart from him until he cooperates.
623218
I relate as my husband is ill also, but I am in it for the long haul.  I married him better or worse.  It is harder as you are younger than us.\nWe cuddle A LOT and I just let him know how good a husband he really is.\nI made a vow to God, and thru Him, we can get thru this.  Maybe a good Christian counselor would help.  It is best to talk it out between you.\nNo one feels worse than they do.  They think they have let us down, but that is life.\nRemember, you have a lot of memories with this man.  He sounds like a good man.\nI think there are sex therapists that can maybe help you two, also, aren't there?  \nOtherwise, just keep your mind on other things, read your Bible, keep a clear mind, stay faithful, cuddle a lot....\nLots of love to you both........
69216
haha I know what you mean, my boyfriend is just like that. He's not sick often, but when he is, he can't do ANYthing. I tell him how useless he is and the bugger just mumbles something about fetching him tea! But I think secretly we love it when we can look after them for a change :P
213809
It's all about love and forgiveness. If you love her and if you can forgive her (and let me say contracting that illness is punishment, you don't need to hold it over her head, she'll have a constant reminder of her affair now) If you can forgive her then stay with her help her through this. As the disease progresses it will sap her strength, her spirit, she will lose who she is after a while to this illness. If you feel that you cannot forgive her then you need to discuss that with her as well, maybe not leave her yet, but at least talk things out with your wife let her know how you feel. I imagine your torn right now or else you wouldn't be posting on this website, asking for others advise. Nothing anyone can say will be the right answer, all you can do is listen to your heart and do what you feel is right. Don't let the anger of her affiar conflict with the thought in your mind. Also, take into consideration her feelings if she has remorse good if not and she really doesn't care then it might be best for you to continue on without her. If you really feel you need outside advise, discuss this with a trained councelor or therepist. someone outside of the relationship who can shed a different light on the situation and maybe help you see things in a way you didn't before. Good Luck, Budda bless you, and Take Care.
146111
Hey sweety, I'm sure that what you think you're going through is very drastic for you, but keep in mind that your lady is going through it right with you.  She may feel like the fire is out because your isolating yourself and not sharing all your feelings with her.  I have forgive my husband many a bad decision for a couple honest words and a true desire to be in love with me.  I think you know how to fix this if your heart wants it.  Best Wishes
149305
I suffer from depression a lot of the time because I'm 18, married, with a 4 month old, and time get very hard. My husband and I struggle to become one with each other but he drinks and it sometimes gets hard to get close especially intimately. But I pray and try to keep my mouth closed about some of the things I don't like him doing in hopes he will recognize them on his own.
182672
My husband and I were married for just short of 4 years and together for a total of 12 when he passed away. Having been widowed for just over a year, I feel that I am at least qualified to offer my opinion on this subject. \n\nI have just started to think about dating here in the last month. It is difficult to say the least and you do have a tendency feel as though you are cheating on your spouse. \n\nThat being said, you have to think about what your husband would have wanted for you...would he really want you to spend the rest of your life pining away for him? And should the shoe have been other foot, what would you have wanted for him? These questions we must ask ourselves. \n\nAll things come in good time and grief and grieving are no exception it can take years to heal or it can take months, alot depends upon the type of death, be it unexpected or terminal illness. \n\nComing from the perspective of terminal illness, I can honestly say that a lot of my grieving was done prior to the actual event taking place. That, however does not mean that I don't miss my husband, I do, daily. But, we had these conversations for over 2 years and I knew what he wanted me to do. He felt I was too young and vibrant to spend the rest of my life alone and made me promise that when I felt ready, I would seek out another relationship. And to me, that spoke volumes regarding the depth of his love for me.
608816
My boyfriend and I have clinical depression.  But after several years of medication experimentation, we both found a medication that enables us to be free of the symptoms of depression and free of side affects from the meds.  We take Abilify, Wellbutrin and Zoloft and we are living normal happy lives.  It's been my experience that you can be physically active, eat good and take vitamins, but all these things won't help depression.  Only medication can do that.  If you're not happy and positive, your meds aren't working for you and you need to change them.  Tell your doctor after trying them for at least 3 months, that you want to make a change.  They don't always work the same day. You have to give them time.  Good Luck!.....)(
46109
I've been where your boyfriend is right now. Let him know that you care about him and be there when he needs you. He's got to WANT to get better and that is extremely difficult for someone suffering from depression. Even if the sufferer can manage to make him/herself care enough to take the meds, the meds have to be in the system for quite a while before they start having a noticable effect - they have to maintain the sense of self-preservation long enough to get there. Maybe you could establish a routine...stop by his place when it's time to take his meds - remind him gently... maybe leave your vitamins there so you can take your vitamins when he takes his meds. Therapy can help a lot, too. If he'll agree to go, take him if you can. I won't lie, this is going to be very hard, and I'm wishing you the best of luck. He's lucky to have someone who cares enough about him to put in the incredible effort it takes to help someone with depression.
120193
There is really no way to just cope if you love the person and don't feel like they are giving you the attention, love and affection you need. I have found that things are alot easier when I stay busy and try to keep my mind off certain things that remind me of the negative things. I try many things to keep myself busy from going to eat or have a beer after work to playing online games or just doing some school work. If you have children together it makes things harder because you want to kinda put on a show and spend time with the kids togeather. If you don't have kids I would suggest finding some friends separate from your spouse. Spend some time with them or just plain talking to someone about it helps so much.
629339
If the wife is "borderline," and you are "depressed," the two of you need to be getting to a doctor.  The next step would be getting into marriage counseling.
108994
I think most people are more concerned about the people they(truly) love than with their self when something like this happens.  You are probably very normal in what you feel.  If you didn't love him you wouldn't be so tired or anguished by this. Keep plugging along as best you can. As said before keep your own health (physical & emotional) or you'll be of little help to him.  Seek counseling if you need it, I feel you might.  Chesk my bipolar site for links to some very good medical resources.\nhttp://www.geocities.com/tls3123283/index\nThere are some good links to find support for you within them. Goodluck and God Bless
155399
I too have NO sex life due to a sick hubby right now and wish i was in your shoes on some days.  I guess - how much do you love hubby?  Enough to sacrifice your physical needs?  Could he ever recover and be the man you need?  If no to both, then leave hubby and get you some, girl!!!
304017
You need to talk to him.  Let him know how you're feeling.  Sometimes our spouses don't read our minds even when we think they should.  It doesn't make them insensitive just not perfect.  He may not realize your depression or the level of it.  If you're able to tell us you're depressed then TELL HIM.  Men and women have a different makeup and we don't understand each other most of the time.  Sometimes communication helps in understanding.  Just try to tell him how you're feeling.  ((((HUGS))))  Sorry for you loss.
239072
Hello there!\nIt must have been hard to have found that out about your girlfriend after being together for 5 months. I must take medication regularly, and I had the same problem with letting people know I took it. You should feel honored that she shared that information with you. It is so hard to even tell anyone that you have a problem, let alone someone so close to you. She is basically taking an anti-depressant, which regulate the level of serotonin in her brain. A mental illness is a disease, like diabetes or hypertension. In order to control our mental illness, we take medication. Just as someone with diabetes must have insulin. When we don't take our meds, it can cause a recurrence of our symptoms--which often includes suicidal thoughts. If you really care about her, you could try and learn about her illness. Be there to support her. People are often inclined to selfish thoughts, thinking how bad they will feel and withdrawing from the very person that needs us. Everyone has some thing or another that we must "deal" with in a relationship. I have had many relationships when the person I was with could not handle the fact I had a problem. I dont' let it run my life and am very loving and responsible. I am sure people will tell you "horror stories" about their illnesses, and these do occur. You did become her boyfriend for a reason right? Focus on her positive qualities and support her. If you feel like you could not handle it, then the best thing to do is to leave the relationship. Good luck to you!