im a virgin and i havent told my boyfrind. i just told him that i havent done it in a long time should i tell him? do you think he'll treat me diffrent.
133747
Relationships should be based on honesty, so it's best if you tell him.\n\nIf he treats you differently, dump him on the spot. I know it will hurt (been-there-done-that. it sucked, but now, years later I am so very grateful I didn't put out) trust me, there are guys out there that will respect you all the more for not having a long rap sheet of ex lovers. If you're bf tries to change your mind, or force you, again dump him immediately and head to your friends or parents for emotional support. If he can't respect you, he doesn't deserve you. I'm not saying "wait 'till you're married" but I do suggest waiting for a man that cherishes you and respects your boundaries.
236747
sadly, thats about the going time for sex now. If she pretended to be a virgin, the whole thing was based on a lie. My advice would be to leave her alone. He was a virgin, and sadly, he'll always remember her. Just tell him that there are plenty more people out there who are better and just to wait for the right one next time.
526207
Kudos for you still being a virgin, I hope that my daught will say that many, many, many years from now.  And the right guy will be comming along.  Just dont stress.  you will be noticed when you least expect it.
628183
Yes. Make sure you tell him in a way that he is not threatened. Tell him because you love him and want him to know this from you. That other guy could show up at anytime. Something could happen and it could come out. He should know. But first, you get him aside and tell him that you have never loved anybody or trusted anybody like you do him. And that you are afraid of losing his love, but you are more afraid of hurting him with a lie. That love is based on truth and trust. You must trust him. Ask him if you can trust him to still love you after you tell him something hard from your past. If he says he does not want to know about your past, then shut up. That is fine.\n\nBest of luck. BTW, I doubt that HE was a virgin when you first got together, either. And yes, fair is fair.
420938
i was raped and molested for years by a step sibiling until the time i started my period. when i met my husband i was very open with him about this and he assured me that to him i was still a virgin because it was not my choice to not be. that was very important to me because i had always wanted to only make love to one person who would be my husband. god bless you for even having the courage to discuss this. i never told anyone even my dad until the last few years. honey you a brave soul and if you feel it in your heart than that is all that matters.
603022
I feel that you should tell him. If he likes you it really won't matter what size you are. Some guys like a thick girl. Good luck.
54229
yes tell him ..he has the right to know..besides he has to help u be by ur side girl..u need him..it is important..thats my advice 4 u hun..\nGood luck and i hope things turn out alright..
474115
First of all...I congratulate you on your decision.  \n\nYour body and your virginity are sacred, and you should wait until YOU feel comfortable and ready. Your bf will wait as long as it takes if he loves and respects you...so don't worry about that. \n\nAnd don't listen to what other people have to say..they have their choices and you have yours. \n\nI commend you for being such a bright young woman, and not falling for peer pressure.
579360
Look, unless you plan on doing it again, there's no reason to tell him.  You would be filling his head with doubts that he just doesn't need.  Typically the only reason you would tell him is to make yourself feel better, and that's not necessary.  Honesty IS the best policy, but only if you plan on continuing this extra-curricular activity.  \n\nOn the other hand, if you feel you MUST tell him, be completely honest.  And who knows, like many of the guys that have posted already, he MAY want to start looking outside the relationship WITH you for other playmates.\n\nGood luck.
349354
I am 38 and I have had an experience meeting a woman that was a virgin still at 24.  She was apologetic and very shy.  I don't think you should feel bad for being a virgin.  Everyone has a first time - some sooner some later.\n\nAt least being older he would hopefully find your honesty appreciative.  Tell him as a matter-of-fact when an intimate conversation comes up.  Don't sound as though you are making a big deal of it.\n\nAnd if he is hesitant or steps back, just respect it and move on.  There's absolutely nothing to be ashamed about who you are darling :-)  Good luck.
287256
If he really loves you, yes.\nJust tell him.\nHonesty is the best policy.\n:-)
146765
Yes my dear, I know what you mean. If you're scared, don't go. \n\nDoes he know you're a virgin? You didn't say how long you two have been dating. If you've dated him a long time and he knows you are a virgin and has been respectful, never questioning you or pressuring you, then it MIGHT be okay. I still think if you are afraid or it makes you uncomfortable, then you should do what feels right to you and not go. If you feel you might be pressured to have sex and you are not ready to, then do not go. \n\nI am not a virgin any more, but know how this feels. Let me share a story with you:\nI am a single woman (previouly married many years ago). I was dating a guy for a few months and I really liked him, but had not had sex with him. We kissed on our dates, and it was very hot, but kept it at that level, just kissing, no "heavy petting". He invited me on a ski trip for a week. We had not travelled together before, or even spent a weekend together, so I was a bit hesitant. (I should have paid attention to that feeling; that was my intuition.)  I really did not think he would pressure me. He had been very well mannered. I would not have gone otherwise. I knew spending that much time together would let us really get to know each other. We got along well and it would be fun, especially because we both like to ski.\n\nOn that trip, he started by wanting me to sleep in the same bed with him. I actually didn't have much choice, the room only had one bed. I should have known right there that a real gentleman would have made sure there were 2 beds or asked me if I was okay with the sleeping arrangements. I felt a little uneasy about it, because I was not ready to be so physically close to him. But I figured it was okay, and kept my gown on. Well, it just got worse each night. By the 4th night he was pissed off that he had "paid to take [me] on this trip and [I] wasn't being accomodating". He got more and more demanding. He flat out told me he "deserved" to have sex with me! He was a real jerk about it! Rather than a really great time, it became a degrading experience for me.  Needless to say, we stopped seeing each other after that. \n\nThat was years ago but I learned a lesson. For me: I would never go on a trip with a man unless we were crazy about each other,already in a commited relationship, and had already made love before that trip. I turned down several trips, but I did not want to be in that position ever again! Yuck!I did not go on a trip with a man again until all of my criteria were met, and what a difference! It was worth the wait.\n\nI commend you for being a virgin. it's a rare thing these days. If you are not ready to lose your virginity, don't!\n\nJust because a man pays for a trip, no woman "owes" a man sex in exchange. I have asked several men (yes, all kinds, including wealthy, well educated, well-mannered upper class men, like the man I had gone on that ill-fated trip with) about this and unfortunately many men seem to think that accepting the invitation of going on a trip is some unspoken code for "there will be vacation sex." They assume "the woman knows [he] wants sex on a trip." So don't go unless you want that too.\n\nYou do what feels right for YOU, not your boyfriend. If he really loves you, he will not pressure you. He will understand. If he doesn't, then break it off. You are special and need to be with someone who truly understands and appreciates you. Good luck!
565829
No your not dumb. It takes a woman to stand up to her friends and say YES I'M A VIRGIN and DAMN PROUD OF IT TOO.. It also takes a MAN TO RESPECT YOUR DECISION. I applaud the 2 of you for your decision. Just ignore what your friends are saying to you because they don't need to know if you had sex or not. If you promised your dad and yourself why break that promise now. I was 24 when I lost my virginity, not because I made any promises or had a religious beliefs and just never found that right guy. And besides most of the time many would say that they wish they would have never lost there virginity and still would keep it that way. Good Luck!
570510
I AM THE DECIDER does not give an informed opinion, how would a virgin (at least with a female) know anything about this!\n\nHe thinks he has a girl friend, but actually since she is repulsed by him, she is not giving it up, so he is used to being in a sexless relationship!
597688
Time will heal all of this.  Maybe even have a talk with your dad, and apologize to him for this.  Eventually they'll start to trust you again, if you don't mess up again.  Just remember, the stuff you do to your parents, may happen to you with your own kids.  Also, parents aren't dumb.  History repeats itself...they know all the tricks, because they've either heard of it, or have done it themselves.  Not alot of teens realize that when they are caught in a lie, it actually hurts the parent's feelings too.  The best advice that I can tell you is that you should never act in any way that would either hurt your parent's feelings or embarrass them.  That way your trust will be built up, and they won't worry about you as much.  If your dad would tell you to be in at 10:00, then be in for 9:30.  It'll go a long way with him.  Your dad was only concerned about your welfare. cause there are too many pervs out.  You messed that up and now you're paying the price.  If something would have happened to you, it would have really hurt your dad.....think of it like that.  It's obvious to me that he loves you.  And since you're so young....how about some advice about sex?   Love can wait 5 years, lust can't wait 5 minutes.  If you have to "prove" your love by having sex, then the guy isn't worth it, and remember you don't have to prove anything.  Another thing...if you're still a virgin, girls at school may tease you about being a virgin.  That's ok.  Tell them this...."I can be like you anytime I want, but you can never again be like me".  I wish you the best of luck..and please be careful.  Have a good day....
466225
Okay, I'm not going to even go into asking why you weren't honest with him in the first place. . .but to your actual question, he CAN'T tell that you're not a virgin. Some girls don't bleed their first time, you know. Actually, it happens a lot. And if he loves you, it won't matter.
113032
He isnt ready to accept u in public or maybe that friend of his isnt trustworthy? But anyway i had a heartvreak recently.Dontlose ur virginity just to get him closer. It isnt worth it.True lovecomes back without such persuausion and actions. Just keep ur chin up, i knw how it feels.Ask him why he ddi this.I am a writer at 16 too. U can talk to me if u r worried.I know i amy sound too young , but i am mature for that mater and lifes taught me a lot the hard way