My husband & I have been married for almost 5yrs. He's a good man,I think just misguided. His mother has issues with her son loving any woman but her.(though she would rather run through town naked than admit it.)When she gets jealouse, she calls him & says I said something horrible to her on the phone, when in most cases I wasn't even home at that time & didn't talk to her that day at all. She's insulted my weight,(I'm 5' tall, 108lbs) after the birth of our third child I gushed to her about what a perfect coach he was. When she later went out of my room to see him, she told him I said he was a lousy coach. He didn't speak to me for 2 days or help w/the baby because his feelings were so hurt over what he was told I said. She denies saying or doing anything to hurt me or my marriage when he askes, but laughs & smiles when I bring it up when he's not around.  He does not believe his mother is capable of this behavior & has told me I'm ruining our marriage. I'm almost divorced over this!
124118
Sounds like to me you need to tell that busy body mother in law to unleash your husband from her apron strings,she sounds like she is your problem,of course your husband cant see this its his mom.Some men are always momas boy ,until they see it for them selves that dear old mom is breaking his home up .don't let her insult you ,let him get mad he has a life time to get glad.you are his wife and the mother of his children I'm sure you cook for clean house and wash his clothes so where is the respect you so much deserve.if mom is all that and then some maybe she should do all this for him.she sounds like a mean 2 face devious spiteful woman who is out to ruin your marriage.stand up to her don't let her ignorance ruin your home put her in her place and tell her to stay there.if your husband doesn't have the guts to tell her then its up to you.....
362304
Wow this is one for the books.Don't they realize how they are hurting your children and there very own son.does your husband have brothers & sisters.If he does he should try getting in there good grace.The way they are treating you after loseing your baby I really don't know why you would want anything to do with them.It was their grand child. Good kuck,but I think you should move on with your own family.
476104
There are probably books on the topic in the self-help/psychology section of your local bookstore, but why waste the money?  The answer is simple: if your husband can't put you and your marriage before his mother, you need some serious counseling.  you know, I totally love my mom and we hang out a lot and everything, but now that I'm grown up and in a relationship, that relationship has to come first!!  Your husband should know that too, and so should his mom.  Shame on her for allowing her son to be such a mama's boy and ignore his wife's best interests.  Your first step is to try to have a sit-down conversation about it with your husband.  If he resists, an ultimatum may be in order: either he prioritizes you first, or you're separating.  Just don't try to get him to stop seeing his mom altogether, because that would never work, especially if they're so close, as they apparently are.
392720
Tough situation, but the mother-in-law always seem to win.  Don't feel guilty for not going out with someone who makes you feel unwanted.  Since it's your husband we are talking about, don't you get to spend time with him anyway away from his mother?  He's your husband and you can have your way with him  anytime you want.  Stay home and wait for him, speak to mom, and keep it simple.
149237
She blew the situation way out of proportion.  It was a simple misunderstanding.  If you didn't ask her to cook for you guys, then you can't be blamed.  Also, how much extra food did she have to cook to feed just the two of you?  If you apologised, then you did all you can do.  Just  be careful.  I know from personal experience how miserable a mother-in-law who doesn't like you can make your life.  Try to patch things up with her.  If not for you, then do it for your fiance.  Good luck.  :)
385973
i too went through this, 10 years of it, whenever we were having any discussion he would turn it around and i would be made the problem, it escalated into name calling, fat hog, slut, really bad names. whenever he did not get his way or wouldn't stick up for me to his son, no matter what the problem, he would change the subject and suddenly i became the problem. after awhile our communication suffered, actually i was too afraid to even bring anything up, did not feel safe, knew i would be the focus, and if he couldn't find a problem with me, he would make one up. just causes resentment and eventually someone will get so angry that they will stray from the marriage. think the problems stem from a more serious thing, it's never about what they say about you, or the names u get called, it runs deeper than that, think it's about something they feel they are not getting out of the marriage.
205282
What you wrote sounds like my story. I've got the same problem with my mother in law. My husband really appreciates that I act like I'm stupid. \nI refuse to drop down to her level and when she is really mean to me I just smile and nod. Sometimes I think she tries her hardest to piss me off, but I won't give her that joy.\nFor your husband it's probably best to ignore the situation and play along like you all get along. It's not worth splitting up families over. You may regret it if your husband decides to choose for you and stops speaking to his mom.\nBe happy she doesn't live IN your house. \n\nStay the respectable party and don't let your feelings show! I know this is tough but it's the most peaceful way. Good luck, don't let her drive you mad, you've got the upper hand!
259956
My now husband and I had this same problem.  He lived at home with Mom and was reluctant to spent the night at my house(I still lived with Mom too)  But I was head over heels with him and I persisted.  I stayed with him as often as I could.  (His MOM hated me at first)  But we were together for almost a year and I sort of moved in.  We spent four great years together with MOM and she began to warm up to me.  If you really like this man then perhaps you have to make a few sacrifices to keep him.  I now live in that very house married to him.(I was a very independent sort of woman no one provided for me an' all that but I gave in to be with him.)
406179
You need to be strong for your son's sake and satisfy his needs.  Maybe move?  Where did she go?  Sounds like you don't need her anyways.  What kind of wife/mother could leave her family?  You deserve better.  Stick it out.  Time heals all wounds and make sure you put your son first!!!
284868
well the next time that you answer the phone and its her tell her how you feel. tell her she is selfish and needs to stop thinking of only her own self. oka y i know that this sounds harsh and she is older and that whole respect thing comes into play. but you don't just get respect you have to earn it. she does not deserve it. tell her that you love her but she needs to stop asking your husband for things. Tell her that she is her son but now he has another family to worry about. as long as she can afford her own things he should not have to support her too. Ok you really have to do this it sounds bad but you don't want to go the rest of her life hating her and wanting her to go away. Tell her in the nicest way possible all of the above, tell her that you want to be friends with her and you want her to be in the childrens life but they can and will do with out her if she continues being this way. Good luck and remember the truth hurts but its the only way to go.
320373
Although I believe a child's place is with his mother, this woman doesn't deserve to have children. If I were you I would try to get full custody of the child. It is clear she will always use your son as a financial benefit for her not your son.Your son is a blessing for you, to bad for her if she can't see it. Get rid of that scumbag and devote yourself to give your child all the love that is obvious your wife can't give him.
639492
It sounds to me like a little boy asking for mommy's permission to be bad ... that way he has all the pleasure of playing with matches, but evades the responsibility.\n\nGuy's have this way of being real cowards about ending a relationship. Instead they push their wife ... and push and push and push until she is backed into a corner with no option BUT to say "I've had it -- no more!" and then ... they go around saying "Well, SHE wanted a divorce." Once again, a little boy evading responsiblity.\n\nIf you want to keep this marriage, get some counselling. He needs to hear an outsider tell him he's being a jerk and not just you. If you'd just as soon be free to find a man who will honor and cherish you, then call his bluff. Tell him no way is a third person joining you in your marriage bed and when is initiating that divorce and moving out?
585183
Sorry you are dealing with 2 psychos that don't know their place.  I'd ignore them as much as possible, but I would put my foot down if they tried to run your life. Your hubby is going to deal with them as he chooses b/c they are his family, but I think they need to see that you are not to be messed with.  When you say no, don't waver.  They can leave if they don't like it.  Let them try to manipulate all they want. It's up to you to not allow them to mess with your life.  Your husband will see them for who they are. And he may step up and tell them to back off in private so they save face. But either way, you can't control him or them....just put your foot down.  Good luck. My mother in law is a manipulative witch.  My husband just  wants to move far away from her and gets tired of her behavior, but feels he can't change his mom.  I think he's right.
246518
I know you love your fiance, but it's obvious his mother doesn't love you.  You're gonna have problems.  I'd tell you to beat her with an aluminum bat, but that wouldn't get you anywhere.  Tell your fiance exactly what you're telling us.  Don't try to avoid conflict, cuz it already exists, and will only get worse.  Have your fiance bring this up with his mother, and try to iron things out.  Is there a reason his mother chooses the other girl over you?  Does his mom even know the real you?  Who you are?  How much you love her son?  That bitch!
603300
He is expected to be close to you.  Tho it shouldnt be a contest.\nShe is his mother and should respect you for his wife.  But apparantly, she's not interested in her husbands concern, but rather her own selfishness.  Does she not have a husband?  Is he her only child/son?  \nAt any rate, I'd stay clear of her at all costs.  He's welcome to visit her.  But I dont see any reason for you to visit her.......OR she to visit your home.  I would discuss this with your mate, and than make it perfectly clear to her....UNLESS she is able to treat you with respect, she's no longer welcome in your home, and you have no desire whatsoever to go to her home....End of discussion.  Might as well resolve it now. It will only get worse once you begin to have children.....
277548
I have been married for 5 years now, and my Mother-in-Law has never liked me. While there is no X in this situation I do understand how you feel. At first I tried so hard to be sweet and nice and be the best Daughter-in-law I could be, She only treated me worse and worse until I finally stood up to her and told her she didnt have to like me, but she needed to respect me. She hasnt changed at all and I doubt she ever will. In her eyes I will never be good enough for her son. My advice is for you to be the best person you can be, love her anyway inspite of her snubbing ways. You be the bigger person. You don't need her approval, Your husband's approval is all that counts! He chose you, He loves you, who cares what she thinks. Good luck. Keep your head up & Be Blessed.
126521
Mothers are often jealous of a son's relationship with another woman since it usually means they are no longer #1 in their son's eyes. On another level she is also jealous of the attention your father-in-law pays to you and she is making sure he doesn't come to like you too much! \n\nSisters often resent their brother's girlfriends and wives, regarding them as "new daughters" that take their parents and brothers attention away from them. Kind of like sibling rivalry.\n\nThese women will settle down in time once they realize you are no threat to their relationship with your husband or their husband/father. Encourage your husband and father-in-law to include one or both of them in the conversations or activities that are making them jealous. Don't let either of the men make comparisons that put you in a better light and provokes their jealousy. For example, if your father-in-law compliments your cooking, then looks at his wife and says, "why don't you ever make that," then you should make some comment about her best cooking to keep her feelings from being hurt. You will see lots of little things like that if you watch for them. Try to smooth them over, and just be the best person you can be. Hold your temper! It will get better in time. \n\nIf it doesn't you will know that you tried your best and just avoid them as much as possible to prevent disagreements and try to ignore the hurtful things they say and do. Your husband will take a hand if they disrespect you too much when he knows you are doing your best to get along with them.