I am Married with a Girl under arranged marriage !\nI Love the Girl I cameto know after 1 year of marriage ?\nI have 2 kids too.\nBoth My Love & My wife know each other and lives in same city and have equal rivalary.\nMy Love is going to marry soon, but she don't want to get seperate from me (threatning to end her life, too). \nShe(Love) don't ask me to leave my family for our love life and just want to have some time together....! \nI am binded and I cannot connect Marriage Counselor also for the same.\nHer parents(my love) are against her idea of living with me without marrying me and they will going to screw me up from my life if they came to know that we still in contact.\nI know drastic results i have to face if i continue but i cannot leave her nor my family bcos of kids itself, only.\nMy wife is not ready to give me divorce either and does not want me to let her live with us....\nPls Help @ ASAP. Please.....
125548
You cannot have two lives like this its not fair to anyone involved..If you cant leave your wife..then you must leave alone your "love" and allow her the oppourtunuity to have a husband and children herself..if you do love her surely you think she deserves someone who can give his whole self to her...right?? and doesnt your wife deserve ALL of you..whatever choice you make..you need to make it now...be a man..make your desicion and stick by it..Good luck
397261
H.  I don't know why you have to ask what you should do.  To marry because you don't want to hurt family, or to save yourself from embarrassment is ludicrous.  No one should enter into marriage unless they love their fiance and plan to stay with them til death do they part. It is really not fair to your fiance to begin this union feeling the way you do, and have you even considered what kind of life would any children have if you did not love their mother.  There really is nothing to contemplate.  You should break off the engagement, stop the wedding and go on with your life.  Marry only when you know you want to spend the rest of your life with the chosen one. Good Luck!
42997
Now i'm not going to call you crazy but please listen up. This is not a world you should trust, meaning there are alot of cooks out there who is willing and able to take advantage of your love for them. Why don't you wait about a year, have patience, and see where God wants to take you. You have a soul responsibility to your son, and taking him on a dangerous journey is not very wise. You going alone is not wise in itself so putting your son a risk for something terrible to happen is even worse. Love conquers all but as it says in Pr 14:8 The wisdom of the prudent is to understand his way: but the folly of FOOLS is deceit. Don't be decieved into something that might not be meant to be and might not be God's will for you and your sons life. Seek the wisdom and instruction of the Lord if you believe. You have only known him for two months and you are quickly and foolishly running off to another state with him. Is this because you have a dream for your son to have a father and you to have family, well let it be done right not foolishly. Take the step to saying I will go with you but not now. Wait about a year or even two, and see if he still loves you then, see what kind of person he really is. Then  see after that if he will marry you. If so then you know you are on your way to having that family but my best advice to you is seek the kingdom of God first and all of these things shall be added unto you. Make sure you are equally yoked, meaning you must have the same beliefs in God and are both saved. If that's not the case than it will not work, trust  me on this! Do you know for sure what he believes as far as God and salvation, marriage? Do you know for sure what he does for a living? have you done a back ground check on him? Give me his name and I can do it for you email me privately. It's for your and your son's saftey. Do yo know his history and full personality? Do you know his family and have you talked to any of them? Is he controlling? Do you know what he likes and don't like? Do you know his dating history? Most of these you probably believe you know or don't know yet but are serious things you need to consider when leaving your safety zone and your family. They might be on to something so talk to them. Parents often times can sense danger of there child. please email me. I am very concerned for you saftey and your sons. \nsincerely yours, Godly Woman
493056
You should make the choice.  I understand where your family is coming from - but I hear the love you have for him in the tone of your letter.  This is going to be one of life's "not so fair" choices.  You are 18 now.  You have a very grown up decision to make.  My best advice is to make completely sure that he is as wonderful as you think he is, cause this could separate you from the family who has loved you all your life.  I have an 18yr old son and it would kill me if he went against my wishes and married someone I didn't approve of.  Just BE SURE before you do anything.  Money and status are wonderful, but cannot replace a family.   Think long and hard.  Good luck!!
277720
I think that you are way too young to make a life decision like marriage. Despite what is shown on television and what celebrities do, marriage is supposed to be a life commitment. Do you feel that you can commit your life to someone at such a young age? Do you want to go to college, Does she want to go to college? How would this effect your relationship? Have you sat down and REALLY discussed the ramifications of getting married. Where would you live afterwords (with your parents?), how could you afford living together, etc.  It might suit both of you to speak to a third party, like a pastor or even a counselor before taking the plunge. You sound like a nice person, but remember the old saying (and Elvis song), Only fools Rush In
150461
You are both very fortunate in your happines.  Dont worry about what the world is doing.  Because it sounds like you BOTH are doing everything right.  Continue to love, respect, communicate and enjoy each other.  It takes 2 to make a marriage and a home.  I simply made a poor choice, and the problems erupted early on.\nSome of us dont get it right the first time.
212809
I THINK HE LOVES YOU BUT MAYBE Y'ALL SHOULD JUST POSTPONE THE WEDDING UNTIL MAYBE YOU'LL CAN GET BOTH FAMILY'S TO GET ALONG. MY OPINION THE SHOULD NOT PUT THEIR NOSE IN WHERE IT DON'T BELONG. I COULD UNDERSTAND IF ON OF YOU WAS BEING ABUSIVE TO OTHER. IF YA LL REALLY LOVE EACH OTHER THEN YA LL NEED TO SIT FAMILIES DOWN AND TELL THE THAT Y'ALL ARE GETTING MARRIED ON////// DATE. AND THERE IS NOTHING THEY CAN DO ABOUT IT CAUSE Y'ALL LOVE EACH OTHER AND WANT TO SPEND THE REST OF YALLS LIFE TOGETHER. MAKE SURE YOU REALLY EXPRESS HOW MUCH IT WOULD MEAN TO Y'ALL FOR BOTH SIDES OF THE FAMILY TO BE THERE FOR YAWLS BIG DAY...I DO PRAY FOR Y'ALL, Y'ALL SHOULD PRAY TOGETHER ON THIS SITUATION God DOES ANSWER PRAYERS, IF YOU REALLY OPEN YOUR HEART TO HIM. I HOPE THIS HELPS. GOOD LUCK AND god bless you !!!!!
278202
We have no way of knowing. It sounds like this is an arranged marriage.  Why don't you talk to your parents?  If that doesn't work talk to your Fiance.
438667
You're not doing your daughter any justice by staying in a loveless marriage where she is exposed to arguements and coldness between her parents.  She will sense your unhappiness.  Neither you or your husband are happy, so end it and agree to put your child first...but not in the same household
297854
Hun, you like me,got married for the wrong reason,the love was not really there , but it was for the child you had together, to legitimate her, it happens a lot , but most of all as you and I have found out, it's harder to stay , you have to be happy for you and your little lady, and I would say to find a new love and move on, don't leave you two in a bad situation, there is, as they say, true happiness out there for all.  God bless  and good luck Follow your heart.
523040
At 22 you are entitled to do what you want, make your feelings known to your parents, tell them you love them and appreciate their concerns, but it is your life, and as an adult you need the time and space to make your own decisions.  Talk frankly to them about any misconceptions they have of your fiance, but don't do it with hostility.  You say you have prayed about your decision, that suggests a faith in God, in which case, approach this with a meek and humble attitude.  Respect your parents, involve them in your decision as much as possible, but ensure they know that it is your decision, and that they must abide by it.\n\nMy daughter is getting married in a few weeks, her fiance would not be my choice, but she is the one marrying him, and I love her enough to respect that choice, your parents will do the same if they love you.
587695
There are no gaurantees in life either way. My grandparents have been married for over 50 years too. My parents however got divorced when I was 12 and remarried again when I was 14, only to turn around and get divorced again, well they are in the process anyhow. I think if Divorce was against the law, then more people would have multiple affairs, kill their spouses or hire a hit man to do it. Either way they'd find a way to rid themselves of their spouse. I think it all depends on what's important to you, and marriage is important to you. You also have to realize that marriage is way more then that special day where you get to wear that pretty white dress and get alot of gifts from people you haven't seen in years. It's WAY more than that. You are going to have stupid fights and disagreements, it's how you settle them that's going to matter. It's how you communicate together and if you put eachother above yourselves. Along with being married you have to embrace a certain unselfishness, or it won't work. Life brings along alot of suprises and trials...all to bring us closer to God and make us stronger partners and families. If you use "stinking thinking" then you won't last, infact you'll end up like most of the world today, divorced and searching for that one perfect mate. There is no perfect mate! You have to work at marriage, you really do. The sex will become monotonous, the kids will get on your nerves as well as the mothers in laws and etc. The thing is that you have to realize that your relationship comes first! Another good thing to do even after marriage is to date eachother at least twice a month,even after the kids come into the picture. I give you kudos for not wanting to become just another "baby momma". I suggest waiting, making a list of what you want in a spouse and then comparing notes and maybe even getting premarital counseling before the big day. I've been married for almost 11 years, and it has been no cake walk, but I made a vow and I take it very seriously. I have seen also many blessings in my marriage. We've been through alot together, and are still enduring the storms of life, but we are weathering them together because that's what we promised to do, not run the other direction when the going got tough or look for another person to have an affiar with when the romantic waters get a little still. Also remember, we can't read eachothers mind and it's foolish to assume that the other person can. Keep the lines of communication open, and don't do anything that would break the trust. I pray that you will be blessed and will be one of the few marriages out there that will make it until "death do you part". It's a constant work in progress.
504538
well you could talk to your family and explain that you really love her. if they still don't like her and if you are dead sure that she loves you and that she can break her engagement without any problem, then i guess you should stay with her. because it is YOU who will love her and  not your family. and if you can persuade them that you will be happy with her then they should be tolerant and accept the situation. i could also tell you to face your family and fight for your love like they do in movies but this is unrealistic. i have faced a more or less similar situation some years back. i was in love with a boy. he is hindou and i am christian and my parents disliked him. i love my parents very much and i didn't want to hurt them and see them sad. so i broke up. but this was my choice. today i'm still alive and waiting for the perfect guy if ever he exist at all. i dn't know if i have regrets. what i mean is that the choice is yours and no one else's!
75793
oh please! dont even listen to them. just tell, \n\n"dad,mom, i am the one getting married here.i am going to live with this guy for the rest of my life and if i do not have feelings for him, the marriage will never last. i have someone i love and my heart is with him and i am getting married to him. i would really appreciate it if i could get ur blessings, but if not, i will still marry him"\n\nsimple and short! gurl, they wont live with you and this "certain" guy. if they reallly like him, guess wat?they can get married to him. or have him live with them. sheesh!\n\ndo wat ur heart tells u anyway!
56413
been there, done that.  your asking for a lot of grief.  just the age situation with the children is a burdon, not to mention the difference between your "going to be" and you.  you yourself said your not mature enough to make a decision...let that alone be a guide for you.  first time marrages are tough enough these days, let alone the second time around ones.  i have had experiance with taking on "the others" kids and it is very difficult to relate to them, win them over, have commonalities with them and just simply get close to them.  and if they are close to you in age i'd think there would be little for them to look up to.  kids are hard to win over when your trying to "replace" their mom or pop.  I'd think hard on this one before I jumped into the fire.  good luck.
182778
Tell her, and find out where you stand.  It looks as though she may be ready to move on, sadly for you, as she may not see the outcome of your 'ups and downs' in your relationship in quite the same way as you do.  It might be time just to move on yourself or carry the relationship through into marriage - 6 years is a long enough time to do something about it. The fact she feels comfortable enough to make these arrangements in front of you means that she's about given up hope of going further with you because you've delayed for so long.  I think it's reasonable after so many years to decide whether you want to commit to this girl and ask her to marry you or live with you, or go your separate ways.
148566
Do you want to be married? You are thinking that the grass is greener on the other side. The grass is greener at home. Stop communicating with the woman online. Did you expect your wife to allow you to be with the other woman? I am glad to hear that the woman online did not respond. You with 2 women is not fair to any party involved. Since your country has arranged marriages-then you have religious beliefs. Think about your religious beliefs and answer your own question.