ok my boyfriends family is really messed up! i cant seem to get over how werid they are well me and my boyfriend are haveing a baby, and i recently found out that there grandma would give every grandchild an enema everytime they went out to her house. She sounded very proud to tell me " IVE GIVEN ALL OF MY GRANDCHILDERN MANY ENEMAS" and my boyfriend denies it to the fullest and i think his parents dont tell me because they dont want to embarasse him, but she used to also given them out for punishmental reason as well as locking them up stiars at her house. i cant get over why he lies and why she'd do that to them why do you think? and he gets mad when i say i dont want our baby going over there "IT's none of your business how my grandmother used to do things with us". why would he take her side? also whenever im constipated he tried to get me to let his grandma give me and enema why? please anwser all these ?'s!!! help
129831
Sounds like granny has a sh**** outlook on life. If the baby goes visiting or YOU for that matter......bring out the Duck tape and secure your pants.\n\n\nSERIOUSLY.....get out while U CAN!
551845
Hey, get a grip if you are thirty-two then you are old enough to know that when the time comes she'll tell you. But, be an adult, not a spoiled kid obviously she's lived with it all this time and there may or may not be something she doesn't want you to know just now. It doesn't change anything between you and your grandfather, apparently it didn't make any difference to him! Give your mom time and get on with your life, don't let it define you life!
550715
I think that you might have pressured him a bit too much, my friends like to pressure me into going places that I didnt really want to go because my parents were against it. It was really stressful and annoying, your boyfriend is probably pretty torn right now, because if he stays he hurts you, if he goes he hurts his mother. And dont write " so  that my BF could spend thanksgiving with his mommy..awwwww..." that makes it seem as if there is something WRONG with that. You obviously dont understand a mother's feelings. Anyway, thats just my opinion. Also, you said that your father changed the vacation dates for him, well maybe he should have done that AFTER he figures out if he was going or not. And well, wether you should just let him stay or go. Just ask him what he REALLY REALLY wants to do, ask him to be totally honest with you. Also, there are plenty of times that he can meet your family, what about Christmas?( I do not know your religion, but its just an example) Hope this helps, good luck! ^_^
623948
If you are old enough to be in a relationship then you are old enough make your own decisions and stick by them.  Your grandmother may not like that he is a different race, but she needs to let that old school racism go.  She needs to see the person and not the race.  You cannot live your life trying to make your family happy.  If he's good to you and you are happy, then that's all she should be concerned with.  \n\nIf you are not 18, then you shouldn't have sex yet (oral, anal or vaginal).  But it's alright to kiss him.  You won't get cooties. \n\nThis issue could and will affect your relationships with your boyfriend and your gran.  It already is sweetie.
252729
Ok I completly understand what both you and him are going through cause I have been there and done that, therefor my advice to you is if you really think and feel you love him try to understand his point even if you don't agree or like it very much. What it sounds like he is doing is avoiding having confrontations with his family and you. The less they know the less they will nag at him, they less they nag the better mood you will see him in. Think of it in a positive way he just wants to avoid problems between his family you and him, besides its also a healthier realationship for both of you, never know he may be thinking of taking the relationship a step higher and want to move in together in a few months and when he does he will drop the bom on them, just keep your eyes open at all times giving everyone and anything the benifit of a dought. Good Luck and take things easy enoy your time
96207
You will get over it but it will be along time. You need to sit her down and find out the reason. Do she dislike you for any reason or is she just being foolish. I think it's foolish. There's no way in hell she can keep you from keeping your grandchild. What do your son say about that? Is he okay with it or what. That's not right. Try to talk to the both of them and see what happen. Good luck. Let God be on your side.
324998
Listen honey I have been in a bad relationship myself and know where you arecoming from you have to stand up for yourself and move on you say you can't leacve Why? they have got you to the point where you are wallowing in self pity just as they like you. What is happening here is domestic abuse and it has to end before you end first. For your childrens sake leave him if he don't like it tell him where to go ****himself or tell him if he loves you to stand up to his family for you though from the sound of it he is week as s**t no man should ever allow anyone including his family to run you down. I wish i could do more for you but sadly I can't if you need to chat though send me an email and I will keep chatting and offering no strings advice I am a voluntary member of the samaritans and will make timwe to chat if you need me.
292925
First of all I cant stand my husbands ex either and 2nd of all if she talked to my kids like that i would have to whip her ass for sure! Just think of this he doesnt want her anymore you got him and she cant bear the fact he needs to say something to her and tell her to stay out of his life that he is happy now and that the only thing in thier lives is the kids! He should be the one telling her to butt out of your lives! He can talk to his lawyer and explain to him that she and her whole family are harrassing him and his new family and kids and it might help I feel for you girl cause I have been through hell with my husbands ex also! Do not let her and her family talk to your kids anyway at all DO SOMETHING ABOUT THIS!!!!!!!! You could tell the cops that they are harrassing your kids and hav ethem scare them some or put a restraining order against them! They are adults and they in noway should be saying anything to your kids!!!!!! and tell your BF if he cant take care of this problem with you then you have to move on with your life! I know how hard this is and Good Luck WHIP HER ASS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
87142
have you told your boyfriend how you feel? maybe yu should and see what he says, or see if he will ask his parents and sister what they think of you. there has got to be  a reason, unles they are just really protective over their son?But i would go, dont let his family stop you from being with him.it is his family, they will always be a part of his life. good luck whatever you decide to do :)
119154
1.Because they weren't taught to respect their elders.  \n\n2. Because they aren't being treated with respect.\n\n3. Peer Pressure.\n\n4. Unresolved emotional issues.\n\nWithout knowing his age, it is hard to answer this question in the best way, but I will try to help as much as I can.\n\n1.Did his parents raise him to show respect? Maybe you could set a good example by showing how you treat people respectfully. Be careful when you  are upset or angry, to not say anything disrespectful in front of your grandson. Children learn what they hear and see.\n\n2.Do you treat him with respect? Children deserve respect too,and if they aren't getting respect in return, they may stop showing respect. Maybe by slightly exaggerating your respect for him, it will give him the incentive to return the respect.\n\n\n3.Peer Pressure is harder to deal with. Do the kids he hangs out with act disrespectful? If so maybe grounding him for disrespectful behavior would help him to learn to be his own person and not just follow the crowd. Explain to him why you are grounding him and how disappointed you are that he would treat you or anyone worthy of his respect with disrespect.\n\n4. Unresolved emotional issues can cause children to act disrespectfully. The only way to resolve the issues would be to get him professional counseling.\n\nMaybe if you sit down and talk with your grandson and discuss the problem with him, making sure to treat him with respect, he might just come around and start giving you respect. Let him know that this is a big problem for you and that you really want to solve the issue and would like his input. Be sure to ask him why he treats you disrespectfully and truly listen to his response.  You may be doing something, without knowing it, that is causing him to react this way to you. Maybe giving him the right to respectfully tell you that he doesn't like something you have said or done, would curb his disrespectfulness. Make him understand that treating you with disrespect will not be tolerated and that there will be consequences, so you would like to work with him to find a solution to the problem. \n\nOpen communication is always the best. \n\nYou do want to be careful about teaching children that they have to respect ALL elders or ALL people. They should be taught to "Treat" people respectfully, but actual respect has to be earned. \n\nI raised my daughter to give respect where respect was due. Not all elders deserve respect, so I think that just teaching them that they have to respect all people is wrong. She was taught to treat everyone with respect, until they did something to lose that respect. I certainly didn't want her to think she had to respect criminals, perverts etc.  Good Luck! =-)
476289
The Grandmother was out of line.\n\nIt was not her decision to make at all, let alone in defiance of the wishes of the parents.\n\nShe has shown herself to be an irresponsible custodian, lacking in judgement and therefore if I were the parent I'd be making it clear to her that she will not be left in charge of the child in future, and why.\n\nAfter that has been settled calmly and rationally, the parents should stick to their guns, but shouldn't hold it over the grandmother's head.
75437
Your granddaughter is going through a lot to be at such a young age she is confused and her emotions are all messed up ,you may have raised her but im sure she knew her mom as her mom and now she is gone ,the great grandson passing added more confusion to her and now her grandfather is having a very serious operation maybe she is afraid he will go away to ,school counselors are not the answer she needs professional help ,i scream and get mad for far less than your little granddaughter her actions are normal she is releasing her anger let her do it better for it to come out then to stay inside her ,good luck to you and your granddaughter and i wish your hubby a safe and quick recovery.
305954
I say that you should try to sort of comfort him and lay off of him alittle at the same time. My mom was really sensitive when my grandma died, and she would get upset about the stupidest little things. So my dad,brother and I would all just, you know, hug her and be extra nice to her, but not dissagree or argue or anything like that.Her "depressing stage" went away in acouple of weeks.Well, best of luck to you and your boyfriend.
516903
Send him a letter? Dont you dare. He should always back you up - you are the one he is married to. I think you need to find alternate arrangements for babysitting. Quietly, with dignity, make other arrangements. If the grandma and aunty are not respecting your wishes, what makes you think they wont be disrespecting you infront of your kids? Try to put some distance between you and his family, so you and your husband can form your own tight knit unit. Then when you want to, you can see them on your terms. As dr phil says you teach people how to treat you - dont put up with it. Demand a higher standard of behaviour from them.
394238
Here's a family story, from some 25 yrs ago:\nMy niece [ 3 yrs old ]was visiting with her grandpa at the mall.  His wife worked there, and Stacy needed to go to the bathroom.  Grandpa hesitated, but had to take care of this since his wife was preoccupied.  So, he took her into the men's room and sat her down to do her duty.  About that time, the restroom door flew open and some gentleman raced into the stall next to Stacy.  The poor soul had some gastro trouble, so he had to releave some gas, and it made a loud thunder.\n\nWhen my niece heard it, she said in a very loud, baby-like voice "Say Excuse me please!".\n\nNeedless to say, the gentleman made an exit post-haste.
547483
Get the details from  your brother first then speak with your Grandmother, or better yet both you and your brother might sit down with your grandmother on this.  It has to be determined what level of abusing we are talking about ... is grandpa doing a slap on the arm thing or a downright smack upside the head?  Grandma will probably have a much better understanding of the situation if she is told everything without trying to guess.  \n\nShe probably knows grandpa's personality very well and I would like to hope that if she is aware grandpa has a mean streak, that she'd not let her grandchild be alone with him...but then again, some people can hide their darkside pretty good.\n\nSit with grandma, up front and straight and get this worked out so all of you know where this has to lead.  If grandpa is abusing, grandpa needs to be dealt with...abusive situations escalate very easily and it takes only that one single situation where it blows out of control, that someone can get seriously hurt or worse.\n\nYou've made a good start, hang tight and follow it through...good luck
486863
This guy sounds like a typical control freak. However, your sister is getting something she needs out of this relationship. If she wasn't...she would have left. The bad news is she sounds like she likes to be controlled...even just a little. It must be hard for your family to sit on the sidelines, and watch your sister go on this crazy roller coaster ride. The decision is hers to make. The only thing you and your family can do is wait for the outcome. \n\n*Do you want me to send Vinny over and take care of him?