I live with my boyfriend and our baby. This guy at work, who by the way is 30-years-old and whom I know since almost 2 years ago, has said he really has strong feelings for me. And I know he does. And so do I. When i'm with him we always talk and I like the fact that he is way more mature and experienced than me because he gives me great advice. We talk about each other's life and personal problems. Also lately i've been having problems with my boyfriend. we fight alot and whenever I hit my boyfriend he hits me back and harder. I really have strong feelings for the guy at work. My boyfriend somehow suspects that I talk to him. What should I do I'm super confused? I want the best for my baby and me. My boyfriend right now doesn't really work, only sometimes but not all the time I'm the one who really provides most of the money and i'm tired because when i want something i can't get it because my baby always comes first. i want a great future for my baby and me.
135963
You need to follow your heart, first and foremost.  From what you are saying, it sounds to me like you and your boyfriend are already done, but you just dont have the guts to end it.  The sooner you do end it the better it will be.  Dont keep putting yourself and him through the pain, just tell him that it is not working for you anymore.  You deserve to be happy and it sounds like you will be with the 30 yr old so I say go for it!
222820
Go with your heart. If you're not happy the sooner you split the better. My girlfriend, who is now pregnant with my baby, left her husband for me. They had two kids together. It's never too late to take a chance. We are deeply in love. However, leave him to be self-sufficient. Don't leave him to be with this guy who "doesn't love you enough to be with you"! That's just stupid. If he really loves you he would want to be with you. Otherwise he probably likes you and likes the sex, but doesn't really love you.
332960
my boyfriend's best friend's dad is a physic. He is very spiritual and he also knows a woman who has helped me with questions I had. I recently found out I was pregnant and when i met this woman she said that this would happen to me. She also told me that my boyfriend and I would live together. Which happened when it was said to have happened. I wish you luck e-mail me and I will get all the information for you. Good Luck and God Bless you in you time of Grief. It is always sad to loose a child. Your should never had to do that as a parent. smyle4mae@yahoo.com
97757
First of all, winning his heart has nothing to do with having that baby.  To do with winning his heart.  I am assuming that you know him well enough to know what his feelings for you are.  If not just talk to him about it.  As for the baby I sure hope that the decision you made to keep it was for the right reasons and that you are prepared to raise it without this lad.  Don't mix the two together and start telling the truth and to hell with both of your mates or so called mates.
633370
When I was 16, my boyfrind was 20 ...and my parents said the same thing...but I stayed with him...they still disagree, but now im 19 (and living with him)and hes going on 23...its not as bad as parents think. As long as you are with someone you care about and he doesnt hold you back at anything, then i would say you are fine. I have been through the same thing. And am still going through it. Parents will be parents i have come to find out. Just go with your heart feelings and dont let anyone take that away from you-ever....if u neeed to talk you can im me or email..either way. i'd love to pass on some advice...
426544
Wow that had to hurt you alot. i Cannot imagine the thought that you were holding back someone you loved. BUT i do not think you are. If hes not worried i wouldn't either. Sounds like his boss needs to get with he times and realize that gays, interracial couples, lesbians and most relationships are common place. I am sure if he keeps pushing your boyfriend that he will make a decision to find another firm rather than loose you. Good luck
202355
I am the same way that you are, the guy I am with is the one for me as well, and we also have a baby on the way. But my jealousy and Insecurity did kind of hurt us, because things are not the same right now, and we are both trying to get back to the way we were, because we both really love each other, and do not want to lose one another, plus we want to because of the baby. I had to learn the hard way to not be that way, because he would never do anything to hurt me. So the best advice I can give you, is just dont let your jealousy get in the way, I mean it isnt going to go away, just dont let it get the best of you, because he will either change (not for the good), or he will end up leaving you. I had a bad past too, and this guy I am with is PERFECT for me, so just try your hardest to let go of your past, and tell yourself that this is your present, and can also be your future if you just let all the bad stuff go. Trust me, I do not wanna be the jealous type anymore either, but it is just something that is hard to get rid of. If he has been able to handle it this long, then he is a great guy, my boyfriend put up with it for a LONG time, but theres only so much one guy can take, so please stop while you are ahead. I hope this helps some.
265560
Yea, you don't want to hurt his feelings. I think that you should just tell him that you are not ready for it. And tell him that its too early and you are too young for this subject. To be honest about how you truly feel. Tell him that you don't want to think about this yet because you want to concerate on your future instead of kids and marriage. Its alot of stress and responsiblities, I think you should take care of yourself now instead of worried too much about the future. If he complains or whyning about it. Tell him that he should concerate on his work if he really want a future with you together. Why bother talking about it to you? Just show you, actions talk louder than words. And if he really is sweet, he would do that instead and makes your life much more easier. And he will try his best not to worry you alot about him or both of you guys future together. He will do whatever he can to make that happen and fulfilled it.
219296
I definitely think that you are not mature enough to have a baby. I'm 19, and engaged, and my fiancee wants to have kids because he's 24, and I love him very much, but I'm at least waiting until I have done 2 years of college. How are you going to support that baby? Think about what is best for the baby! And are you so sure that your boyfriend is still going to be with you then? I know these are harsh questions, but they are definitely things that you should think of, before having children both in marriage, and especially outside of it. :)
531235
Hi Charlie, well you and your man have both survived in this relationship for this long, have you learnt all you need to know from each other?  I think most people reading your question will see that you want out.  It could be easy to say maybe you have some post natal depression but it sounds like it has been bad for a long time.  I found the first six weeks with my first baby one of the most difficult in my life, it was like a slap in the face, so I can only imagine how hard it must be without the support and love you must be craving at this point in time.  \n\nStill, this is not about sympathy or feeling sorry, my answer is about being strong and moving on.... I can certainly relate to staying in a bad relationship with a man with a violent personality, getting together with him when you're both too young to know any better, changing the way you behave to keep a peaceful atmosphere in the house, doing what you can to keep him in a good mood etc.  You said it 'i thought id found the one' - you haven't. He isn't the one for you and you are not 'the one' for him, he needs some time on his own to learn and grow from his mistakes before he moves on to his next relationship, don't buy into any rubbish about suicide.  You care greatly about this man, and he knows it, just decide that you will not be manipulated into staying with him.  \n\nI believe you know what is best for you and your baby and I don't think you have any room for a needy, immature, selfish, bad tempered man in your life, even if you  love him.  I understand that you can feel for him, most likely a great deal of sympathy has replaced the attraction and love you once felt, you need to let him go.  You will be doing him a favour in the long run because he will then have the opportunity to learn. I also understand that it can seem safer and less scary to stay in a bad situation that is familiar than start down a path of the unknown, but your unknown has some certainties...freedom to be you, freedom to dress as you wish, freedom to see your friends, freedom to speak, freedom from fear, freedom from manipulation, freedom from guilt.  You owe each other nothing, you may feel you have made mistakes and the wrong decisions (many people have) but none of it is really wrong if you see what you have learnt and gained from your experience.\n\nI just want to add here that you must not base any of your decision on what others may think.  All those people who may think you are happily married, the people who may have given you presents at your wedding, his friends, your friends, parents, family etc.  It doesn't matter what they think.  What matters is that you create a positive environment for you and your baby.  If others understand and support you, that's great, if not keep focused on what you want.  My understanding of your question is that what you want is the freedom to be you, to live without fear, to live without the guilt and manipulative behaviour, to live as an adult making your own decisions, to not feel alone. \n\nIt was the last thing you wrote that prompted me to write.  You deserve to feel love.  I know being a new mum can be a very lonely place in itself, so I really want to encourage you to hold on to your courage and move on.  Even though you will be in an emotional turmoil write down an action plan for leaving and what you will do once you do.  Join mothers groups, plan time with your friends, contact support places, plan to do one nice thing for you each day.\n\nThe question you asked was 'has anyone else been in my situation?'  My answer is yes.  I hope that by reading supportive answers that you feel even just a tiny bit less alone.  Others have been there, and life can be all the better for what you have learnt, what you now know.\n\nGood thoughts and wishes to you.
179576
if you and this guy are in a relationship, i thimk it's awesome that he steps up and plays with your child.  If your not planing a long term relationship with this guy then he might get attached and be heartbroken.
445641
Hi TaTa,   I hate to see you get hurt,but this guy is a player.He only cares about hisself and his needs.You will never be happy with this jerk. The problem is you cannot ever trust him again. Without trust you don't have a relationship.Besides that he will do it again and again. Kick his sorry A S S to the hurb, and find you a man who will treat you, and your baby with respect,trust and a caring man.You deserve alot better than your getting from the jerk. I'm wishing you and your baby all the luck and have a happy life. A Friend.\n\n  Clowmy
439843
First off   Congratulations on the arrival of your gorgeous baby girl. Same day as my daughter but 28 years later. Now to your question, l don't believe that it would all be just over a few minor bills. I feel there is definately more to it. Have you tried really talking to him without getting angry and telling him exactly how you feel ? I would try that if you haven't already. Perhaps he is feeling a little left out with the new bubs and all. The fact that he is not affectionate at all is a real worry though. I really hope for your sake that he is not cheating on you, it seems to me that he could well be. Hope you can work this out but if not atleast you have your beautiful daughter to keep you occupied. Good luck with everything.
664001
Okay, how about you stop worrying about what he wants?  What about what you want?  How old are you?  Have you even had a chance to experience life?  It really sounds like he doesn't know if he wants to be with you or not but is going to continue stringing you along until he can make up his mind.  What are you going to do if he comes home, gets you pregnant and then decides he's not ready to be a husband and father?  Where does that leave you?  Can you be absolutely sure that he will not do that?  If the answer is no, then maybe you need to tell him that you need things to slow down. You don't have to let him call all the shots.  You are a person as well.  You have a right to decide, for yourself, what you want out of this life. There is much more to experience in life than being someones girlfriend/wife/mother.  Don't get me wrong, I am married and have a beautiful little boy, but I experienced life for myself before I did so. And we were married 7 years before I got pregnant so we could experience life together.  I wish you luck and hope you make the right decision for you!
91843
Your first problem is that you work with him. Relationships at work never work out for the best. You would have to keep it on a professional level at work. Then if you guys broke up you would have to see that person everyday. Maybe he likes you but doesn't want to take the chance of going through all of this. Think this one through more and decide if it's really a good idea.
308335
Your "boyfried" has other, much more serious, things to be doing and taking responsibility for right now.  At 18 he's an adult with a family of his own - why would you even consider dating him?!  Is this what you want for your own life - a guy who has a baby to you then is off to the next 15 year old?  I doubt this will remain a friendship - if it does encourage him to support the baby and it's mother as he should.  Get YOUR priorities in order!!  You deserve much better!  Figure out what you want from life, work hard in school to get it, and stay focused.  Boys at this stage will mess up your goals much more than help them!  Good luck to you and God bless you.
204504
I love you. That took about 1.7 seconds. But he just won't say it, huh. He may say it tomorrow or he may never say it, that isn't exactly the strongest sign that he honestly loves you. There are many factors at work and it will be up to you to muddle your way through it all. Let me see if I can help you do that.\n\nYou will find as you age that Love will take on many faces. \n\nAt times, Love will make you feel like the happiest girl in the world. You will be so filled with It that Love will spill over and get on everyone around you. The whole mood of a room will change when you walk through the door.\n\nOther times, It will take your heart and stomp it into the ground. Just when you think it is done, it will turn and spit on you.\n\nLove will be the thing that defines different periods of your life. Love is better as a group activity but that doesn't mean you can't be alone in your feelings of Love also.\n\nWhat you have to look at here is your boyfriends comfortable zone. In some families the word love is used in everyday language. The children and the parents are quick to assure each other of Its existance. \n\nIn other families, It is said only at times when someone feels a strong need to assure another that they do indeed feel love for them.\n\nThen there are those families where speaking the Word is a bit uncomfortable and is almost or totally absent from their interactions. So...\n\nWhich of these fits your boyfriend's experience. Is the word so common to him that he might find it easy to say even if he feels only a little bit of it towards you? Is he someone that understands his feelings enough to say it only if he is sure of it? Or could he feel an overwhelming Love for you but still not vocalize it? \n\nHere is the defination of "what love is" as given in the Bible. It's not a definition of being in love. It gives a definition that defines what will be present if love is present. Even if the word Love is never said, this is how you will recocnize it.\n\n"Love is patient, love is kind. It is not jealous, (love) is not pompous, it is not inflated, it is not rude, it does not seek its own interests, it is not quick-tempered, it does not brood over injury,  \nit does not rejoice over wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth. \n\nIt bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails... So faith, hope, love remain, these three; but the greatest of these is love."\n\nDon't try to force the Word from him. Don't think that hearing him say the Word is the definitive event that proves It's existance. Actions speak so much louder than words ever will. Instead, look for the signs of Love. Now you know what those signs are.