I have such a exuberant personality, I have loads of friends, Mostly guy friends.... I'm a highly opionated, full of energy, vocal kinda person, tom boy whatever you wanna call me. What really get me is im 19,       , advanturous, open minded, and single and can build houses and rebuild motors, I have all these guy friends and for some reason the ones i end up falling head over heals for don't see me as a person? Im so tired of feeling lost in confusion and dwelling in feeling and thought on what i am lacking? Why can't there be a man out there like mr.s-m??? who the hell am i?? all i see is damaged goods. I never feel butterflys, nor even a reassurance feeling of peace and affection, or desired, I want to feel  twitterpated, Im giving up on  men........ the feelig of inadiquatcy, and shame eat at yu every time you see them.\nThe stars aren't on my side
132198
We were just born at different times and different places that kept us apart.  Everything you described about yourself is qualities that I find very attractive.  I like someone who is open minded and opininated and independent.  You have awesome qualities.  When you are opininated that means you believe in what you are saying.  I have restored my own house and totally independent and can fix pretty much anything.  I cannot find the right girl to save my life.  Most girls are so boring it kills my spirit.  There are guys out there who would love a girl like you.  I think you need to move out of the city you live in and start fresh.  I think your life would change for the better in no time.  On the inadequacy and shame, see a therapist, they can get those things out of you.  We were all wounded in some way as children.  You have to go back in and reopen the wounds and let them heal correctly, otherwise they will fester for a long long time.
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i know how you feel cuase i maybe just getting out of that right now...\n\nsee i haven't had a real boyfriend for almost 2 years  and about two weeks ago i asked a guy that is a grade younger out, he said yes becuase i knew he really liked me.. we went out for a week then i said i am just a lil over welmed by the feeling and just need to take a lil break.. after a while he started talking to my friends and practically the whoiole school found out we liked each other and now everyone considers us to be dating...  and we just kinda go with everyone cuase everyone else thinks it is great now im not so overwelmed with the feeling... i think the overwelming i use to feel was that i was afraid of being heartbroken again.\n\ndon't worry you will grow out of the feeling a lil while after you begin dating.. depending on however your emotions work..\n\nnothing to really worry about
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WOW! great question, we will probably never really have an answer to that, but man I can relate.\nI am going through a situation now, where I feel as though all I am is sex, the cleaning lady and here for his amusement.\nBut, just hang in there, someday you will have true love and find a man who really loves you and sees you as much more.\nGood luck!
147353
hi im not a big expert, and i dont know u, but as far as i understand u feeling this way is quite normal. no offence but i ges its normal for women to go throu this. i know loads of them who sunddly get in to this phase... so dont worry about it too much ok, its not a big problem its just a part of growing up. u sound pretty smart so i ges u will do the correct thing. stick to your studies. u said that u have never met him ! i dont think its really possible to love someone without really knowing that person. but i wont get in to that cos its cool. All i will say is the way u feel is quit normal so dont worry about it. its all about growing up so just take your time and enjoy it ok, it will pass, and please continu your studies trust me u will never regret it. hpoe things work out take care god bless.
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It is a matter of self-esteem.  You feel worth less when you are alone, however, that does not have to be.  You really can focus on yourself, find out who and what you are and what your limitations are and validate yourself in that knowledge instead of feeling lonely because you can't validate yourself in another.\n\nI am a widow and am alone, I am happy with myself and do not need a partner to validate myself.  I have my agenda as well, and I do not wait for a man to come around.  \n\nBuilding your self-esteem is easy.  Look at what your talents are and keep on developing them.  Look at how you are and try to throw out things you don't like(i.e., do you have a tendency to interrupt people, do you talk too fast, etc.)\nLook at your physical appearance and change what you don't like(unless it is something you cannot change, i.e. your nose, short legs, long legs, etc).  All this will bring you to a point where you love yourself, and if you love yourself people can see that--and in all likelihood are you going to be desperate for some time with yourself then.  You have to love yourself, like what you see in the mirror---and that will reflect in your entire personality, because then yourself-esteem will soar and you will have a much easier time to find someone.\n\nLearn to accept the things you cannot change too.  We all cannot change things like the size of our feet, the length of our legs, or the size of our noses---but we sure can make the very best out of what we got.  You don't have to be a beauty queen to love yourself, and you also don't have to have extreme good talents to love yourself, all you have to do is make the best of yourself--inside and outside, and you will never be desperate for any relationship/comanionship.
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Yea, I'm feeling ya on this one.  \nYou're a beautiful person inside and out and your confidence in yourself radiates and intimadates others. \nWhat do  you do?  Make these people feel comfortable and at home, get to know them, be their friend, invite them over to get to know you. When they get to know you better and you get to know them it will all work out.  Your not vain, your concerned.
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Well you're supposed to love a man, but if he's not attached to you, then you must accept this as reality.  You must accept that he's not there and that emotionally functioning under the assumption that he is still there is madness.  Your psychological grip on him may be why he left you.  Men need to feel like they can function.\n\nNow what can you do?  Explore this.  Explore all the things you can do right now.  Do them.  Do them without him.  Just keep practicing doing things, like the adult you are, without an attachment.  It will get easier as you begin to trust yourself again.  And you shouldn't become attached again until you can be sure that it is wanted.  Don't worry about these things.  Just be a person, by yourself.  Have friends.  Have fun.  Work hard. Go for walks and vacations.  Experience life, the sun, and everything around you.  So many things can be done alone.  I should know.  I've always been.
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I think that you need more than a friend...I think that you need someone that you can talk to who can help with why you are feeling this way.  Best of Luck!
88629
Hello! Can understand what you mean. Have not got too much self-esteem neither... but I have come to accept that it is not okay for me to feel that way somehow. I want to change it. Think one really needs to decide deep within to change it. There are many beautiful suggestions here. A counsellour I saw some time ago told me that I should say out loud "I am a wrothwhile person and I deserve to be happy." ... and it worked. Just that I became kind of lazy :o) . What might help you as well is the link below. It might seem childish but it really does help. Enjoy it and good luck to feeling better toward yourself :-) !
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I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN.I ALSO HAVE FOUGHT SO HARD TO WHERE I AM. I HAVE GONE THRU SO MUCH,AND FOR PEOPLE TO JUDGE YOU BY YOUR AGE. I'M 22 and feel as a 30 year old man, i have my own home, my own car and a good buissnes.i have no problems dateing,but i seem to find the wrong kind of woman that likes to control a man,i have a sense of humor and at times i like to release steam on programs like this yahoo answers,but i'm no kid. i also enjoy the good, silly OR deep answers and questions here at yahoo. i don't care about points,i just need to blow out a little steam and survive another day in this life. FIGHTING FOR AIR as you say. i thank you so much for this public thank you,for you gave me confort and i know i am not alone. THANK YOU!
50441
Hey Miss2good4me,\nI am really very thankful to u for showing so much concern.And Actually i think u r right 'bout me that i am desperate for a Girl....but u can say i am rather confused.coz i think i am really in love and i don't wanna go for anyone else,but i feel really lonely when i see others.I've already missed many opportunities and girls coz i didnt hav the courage to go up to anyone.I was thinkin maybe you wud me the one for me(Atleast online) so that i wud get to know a lill more 'bout  girls(If u dont mind ie).Here's my ID just in case:karan_wagh2001@yahoo.co.in\n\nbye\nPs:i don't think the Gay guys wud turn straight.(waitin 4 ur reply)
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love yourself and then you will.  is there something that you feel guilty about that makes you think you are not worthy of love?  don't you love others?  then why can't they love you?\nI think you are suffering from depression and need to start by trying to get more sun outside..this stimulated the optic nerve.  also you can try an herbal remedy called "St.John's wart."  you are a beautiful person and you have a beautiful family who needs you to feel good about them, life and yourself.  Friends unfortunately like people who make them feel good, and if you are depressed, you can not do this for them.  You need to find answers and start seeing the beauty in yourself and  the life you have with your family. \n1. I want you to get up in the morning and first thing you do is go to the bathroom and look yourself in the merrow and say "I love you" and "Today is going to be a good day!".  this is a positive affermation.  your brain needs this to balance out the negative feelings and things you have been telling yourself.  you have been abusing yourself.\n2. I want you to tell your family that you love them and compliment them...tell them when they look nice and tell them when you notice something good about them...they need to hear positive things from you too.\n3. Do at least one thing just for you.  something for yourself.  It is to make you feel good, even if it is just soak in a tub with bubble bath...go for a walk, sit in the sun for a few minutes, wear colorful clothing, eat something healthy like a fresh peach...\nMy dear you have a lot of negative energy and you must turn it around.  You know you are depressed and you sound like a woman who beats herself up because she feels overweight..I do that.  look around..how many women do you see that look like a barbie? not many...and they have men who love them and are happy. women who are thin feel the same way...it is a social standard that is put on women by TV and magazines who alter photos of women to be un-naturally tall and beautiful..they paint over the natural photos and air brush them and stretch them so they look perfect....and then men and women think this is what they should look like....it is just not real.\nwhe was the last time you plucked your eye brows, shaved your legs, painted your toe nails...this is what I do when I feel down and remind myself I am beautiful.\n4. Get a part time job or do volunteer work for a few minutes or hours a day..do something for someone else (not in your family) at least 2 times a week. this will get you out of your little world and stop you from "thinking about your depression" all the time. it is rewarding and makes you feel worth something..especially when you get the check or someone says "Thank you so much, you are so wonderful!"  You need to hear this from a total stranger...for some reason we believe strangers more than the ones we love because they have no reason to lie to us.  One time I felt like crap and I picked a few tomatoes from the garden and gave them to an old man down the street and it made us both feel good and now he likes me and smiles when he sees me.\nworking outside alone in the garden is another thing that makes many women feel great.\n\nPlease don't think I am judging you because I was in depression and I was on the couch 24 hours a day and 7 days a week....I didn't know I was depressed but my kids were feeling sad too.\nGet out of the negative vibe...and if you can't...then you need to try St.John's wart or go to a doctor for some antidepressants.\nDo it now because you are missing beautiful moments with yourself and your family.  there are many people who want to be your friend but you have walls up and they know you have closed yourself off......open your heart and your life so they can come in and see the real you.\nwhen you meet someone they see your expression and they feel you are saying to them:  "I do not want to be bothe
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I understand how you feel but you must not dwell on these kinds of feelings.... volunteer for a something that you enjoy....spend a lot of time outside, noticing all the beauty in the world, get active and try to exercise (that's always good for depression) try to spend your time with people who will bring you UP and not DOWN, most of all learn to LOVE yourself, this is so important....you truly can't be happy with someone else unless your happy with YOU!!  This took me a loooong time to attain but I finally got there and you can too!!  I'm 36 and I'm still looking to meet the right person or to have that person realize that they want me.....I don't know that I will ever "find" someone but I sure intend on enjoying my life in the meantime!!!\nGood luck!
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I've come to realize that this is the biggest, most unrecognized quandary in dating that I know of:\n\n*** Almost everyone universally agrees that people should be friends before being romantic.\n\n*** And almost everyone universally agrees that love can hapen when you least expect it.\n\nYet....everyone has that deer-in-the-headlights- look when someone, who is a friend, falls in love with them!\n\nlol\n\nIs like the most natural thing that can happen!.....yet no one seems to realize this.\n\n\nDear one...you are probably a very likable, easy-going, appealing to the eye, and of such good hearted type person that the guys can't help but adore you for your qualities. \n\nIt's a natural thing to have happen!\n\nYou're just being yourself...which is the advice I give on here over and over and over and over again.....cuz it's true!  ....lol. Being yourself, being relaxed, being happy, fun, funny, intelligent, caring, and on and on is a sugary spice that cannot help but attract.\n\nYou just unwittingly have done this, and it has done what it DOES.....it worked!\n\nNow, along with this you have to *continue* being a friend to your *friends* and tel them how *you* feel. You can't love everyone....lol. So, you can choose whom you'd like to hang with and try and caringly explain to the others that you love them as a friend....but no more.\n\nThey may be hurt, or disappointed, but that's OK! It happens, and if you do it as a friend, with concern for *them* and their feelings, you will indeed minimize their hurt, and later when they get past it all, they will love you more for having ben such a good person and sweet friend.\n\nA friend we should all be so lucky to have in this world.\n\nYou are rich.....and this is exactly what people mean whe they say....you are rich when you are a good person to them.\n\nNow....go do what you need to do, and I hope all goes well for you.\n\n:)
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You're only as old as how you feel...i'm 18 and I feel like im 21...\nYou're 28, you said...how old do you feel? If you don't feel old then don't act old!!!\n\nAs for apperance...Well, it's the same no matter what sexuality you are...Some people are shallow... some people look for the great personality... You shouldn't be so self conscious... I bet you're a good looking guy, and I think you shopuldn't let society, whichever,gay or straight, try to change the way you feel about yourself, regardless if it has to do with looks or anything like that...
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This is a reality "WAKE UP CALL" : You do not need a man to validate whom you are, because if you do, then you really do not know whom you are at all. This is a trying and difficult situation, to feel lonely, but this too shall pass. First thing is to be selective about the guy you are interested in, don't just go for the hard body with the great face and bad boy attitude{ these guys are good in the sack and little else}, try to find a guy you have a bit in common with, this will make you happier in the long run. The kindest thing you can for yourself is to not be so desperate, it is like blood in the water, you do not want to cause a feeding frenzy among the sharks and you my dear are the bait.
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Dear Downhelps:\n\nIt seems like you are feeling this way mainly because of a boyfriend who may be acting as if he is losing interest in you.  Is this correct?\n\nIn our human personalities we express many different things.  We are able to succeed sometimes, be smiley sometimes, win friends sometimes and so forth.  But we also can meet up with opposition, limitations and those who pull their friendship away from us.  The human personality goes thru many changes.  It is always shifting, changing, and altering.  It is never stable and on an even level.\n\nOur souls or spirit behind our human personality is the seat of higher thoughts, self-love and love of others.  It is unchangeable, never alters or shifts in it's position or outlook.  It is capable of withstanding the lack of love from outside of itself.  This means that inside of YOU is something CERTAIN about itself.  It loves, it thinks highly of itself (because it is God's Created Child) and it knows every brother in the universe has the same Self or soul within them, too !  If the human personality changes and thinks it no longer loves or it no longer likes another, the soul within that person still loves or likes the other.  Soul knows nothing but love and liking.  For it is like God in how it thinks.\n\nWhen the soul through the human turns itself over to love and suddenly finds itself lacking the loved one's interest, in it's wisdom it does not cling.  As the seat of wisdom and love, itself, it knows when to let go and release the other.  BUT, it knows that it can produce more love for itself simply because it desires it, and is open to having it and can produce more of it again.  The spirit within has self-esteem, because it is connected to God Who puts high value on it.  \n\nValue your ability to produce love over and over again in your lifetime.  Have the strength of wisdom to release those who need to be released and to know - their changing feelings are part of their personality.  We do not have to be hurt or harmed by those who go back and forth in their feelings.  Or those who we have cared about more than they cared for us.  Sometimes, our human minds like to punish us and tell us we weren't enough to hold onto love or friendship.  But it is telling us a lie.  And, we don't have to listen to it.\n\nYOU are an Eternal Being.  God made no losers.  He made us like Himself:  strong in love, willing to let go, when necessary, to honor the Free Will of his Children.  He is in a constant state of knowing that He produces love ceaselessly by Creating it.\n\nWe create it also!  We produce it over and over in our lifetimes too! There is someone else coming for you when you smile again and make more friends.  You brought this friend toward yourself, didn't you?  Well, why not bring another to yourself?  You have power.  You have ability to attract and bring to yourself what you desire and think about. Do not give up your power just because someone wants to move on. . ..  Cause another friendship, be part of another love.  We do learn lessons from our loves.  They are valuable if they do not knock you down!  Take the good out of those lessons and USE IT.  Take the rest of what is in those lessons and throw it away!\n\nYOU did not suddenly become unworthy, unlovable or unlikeable because someone else's personality did not show you consistent feelings.  You are still YOU.  You gave your boyfriend power over you.  Now take it back!  In time, you will stop missing him.  I promise you that.\n\nBest regards, Lana