I dated this man very seriously for a year. he asked me to marry him. He is 48. I am 50. He has been married 3 times. I, once. He disclosed this "suicide" to me early in our relationship, giving details and the date - Dec 12. When Dec 12 came he said "this is the first year I'm not sad.\nWe have broken up but this staggers me.
123927
Good thing you aren't together any more... That story has the makings of a good episode of 20/20 or Prime Time Live!\n\nSome people crave sympathy. They'll go to any lengths to get it. \nThis man really needs help. \nI just hope he's not one of those con artists that marries women and takes everything they own and disappears.\n\nGlad you're rid of him.
276418
ive been there as well. its a hard thing. but at your age....wasted time is the worst thing to be doing. but only you can decide if its a waste. at this point in your lives.... you both should be able to get past what anyone else thinks. they dont matter. life is too short to live your life by somebody elses guidelines. ive been married twice.and divorced twice...DOH!..i lived with both of them first... because, well, no reason to get married if we end up hating each others daily habits. a happy marriage is knowing all the good...and being able to say that his/her bad points arent that bad.." i can live with this freak" lol. because thats what we all are. freaks. and its really can i live with this level of freak and vise versa. so i understand the marriage uneasiness. im 37, and i live with a great girl and her two boys... im reluctant to get married again... but life is a risk. the greatest things in life dont come with out it. ... the question is... are you both ready to risk equal amounts to be with each other? i do tend to think that him moving to his place is going backwards. and i understand you as well. about dating others... i just wouldnt do that right away... let what you have fall apart.... before you drive a wedge quickly between what you might have...wasted time is the worst... but losing love... thats a close second. good luck!
341730
he's acting like that because you are going to be divorced soon and I bet he is married.... just from the way he is reacting, so move on dear - and give yourself time to heal completely before trying to get into another relationship. (you have to resolve all the issues that lead to your failed marriage - if you don't you'll drag that old baggage into another relationship.) If there was anything there you two would of met in person.... you talked for a long time without meeting and that should of told you something about him. (I've only met one man online who wasn't married and he was honest with me about his personal life and that's the man I'm married to! We talked for about 2 months and then we met in person - he helped me with coming to Canada to meet him.... and we "clicked" - and got married 3 months later! We have been married for 4 yrs. as of Sept.28th).... While I was single and chatting with men online for years --- they all turned out to be married or living with someone(with whom they had kids with).
74168
It may be hard for him.  Don't get too upset, after a year's relationship that is probaby a very uncomfortable situation for him.  He is right to tell you not to spoil your life because of him.  Maybe he also felt you were still hanging on for some reason or another and thought the best thing for you, personally, was for him to not be around.  Sounds like he is a nice guy and things just didn't work out.  I would move on.
513413
He is emotionally manipulating you!Trust me, my ex bf did this to me. Next time he hints to commit suicide, you should tell him that you are not responsible for his life and that he should go ahead and do it. I know this sounds cruel, but suicidal people are normally the people you would least expect it from , they are shy and quiet and besides if he was REALLY suicidal he wouldnt just talk about it, he would have done it ages ago. \n\nDont allow this man to control your life!He is not going to force you to make your decisions for yourself and your children based on him and his threats. It does not work that way. He is the master of manipulation, dont allow someone to emotionally blackmail you. Talk to him, be stern and make sure he knows that you are not going to fall for his manipulation again and that you are just going to stand back and if he does something stupid you will take it to court and tell the court he is a unfit father ,seeing as he is suicidal. Hopefully that will wake him up and he will realise he has to deal with these problems between the two of you like an adult. Good luck!
87117
With my ex, we were not married, but we were together for awhile - he was everything to me at first. I was 14 and he was 17, I ran away from home a lot and got messed up with my friends and eventually I ran into Drew. He worked in music and already made himself very successful at his young age so when he asked me out I was speechless. He had a gorgeous smile and the perfect body, after a few months of complete bliss I moved into his house. It was nice living independently when I was only 14. Not long after that he started getting jealous around some of my male friends and a few times grabbed my arm and dragged me to a private place where he could speak down to me but then start kissing me. Within that following year he began drinking heavily and the abuse got worse. I ended up in the hospital a couple times. I would try to leave but he'd always find a way back to me. It finally ended when he was arressted for attempted murder (amongst other charges), because he had an array of doctors in his defense he was sentenced to five years in a state hospital and probation. I know he did not try to kill me because he very easily could have if he wanted too. He got off on torturing me. I was unconscious for three days, I had four broken ribs, both wrists were fractured, a twisted ankle, I was on a ventilator for awhile because I couldn't breath from the swelling of my throat when he repeatedly choked me until I passed out, as well as multiple cuts and bruises. I also suffered a miscarriage, which is what hurt me the most.  This happened one week after my 16th birthday. I at least learned how to take care of myself and I don't hesitate to fight back.
621011
Hey I just wanted to say thank you for your response to my question, I think it really helped and it wasn't mean. I also think that you are right, he called me this morning and told me that he was knocked out and didnt get up until 12:30 or so. I guess it is still taking me some time to really relax and trust him but I think your response was the best. As far as your situation, my boyfriend is actually 28 and im 18 so yeah, think about that one lol. Thats 10 years older then me, but he loves me and I love him and its been the best relationship I've ever been in. I think true love prevails over age and just as long as you guys can respect each other and love eachother and probably give her some time to also grow, you guys will be just find. Age is really just a number I just feel like sometimes our decisions or the stage that we are at life can sometimes conflict. Just make sure you two continue to communicate and understand eachothers needs and wants to go about things the right way. G-luck.
121812
I married the perfect guy, but I still feel something for the man I was suposed to marry. I've contact him after 11 yrs and he is still mad at me, besides we have an ocean between us, and I dont want to leave my hubby! wilmary69@yahoo.com
435765
he gave you a very HONEST answer.. at his age your asking alot from someone out of the gate of life... he is still trying to find his way kind of thing....\n\nnothing wrong with you... nothing wrong with him... just two dif. point of views, beliefs etc... if he had a crystal ball and looked into the future and could see that all is well, he would marry you.. but we don't have that.... it is called faith, stupidity of better fortune, will, belief in the couple... I don't know... but it sounds like he is missing a good opportunity to share his new beginning with someone that will be pulling the rope from the same end as his..\n\nHe needs to understand that whether he makes a decision or not life will continue too move on, married or not, people will live, people will die, he may starve to death married or single... could it be a totall failure.... sure could... could it be a smile on his face when he is 90 years old and in his death bed... yea.... \n\nOne of the most amazing thing that occurs in this world is when two become one and step off into the black hole together... as there is no certantie in anything... that you or him will be alive by the time you read this, nor that your love will last, nor that it will fail... the only failure will be is to let what could be... not....\n\nHe won't become relaxed about any of marriage etc... till about 3 years into it when he realizes... it's not that bad... kind of fun as long as your expectations are in line with reality.\n\nIt amazes me when I see young couples... I ask myself was I ever really that young, that stupid?  And I think... I wish I would have been dumber and just lived... even if I starved in the process.\n\nThe greatest joys happen when we have the least.  That is a rough interpritation of a Chineese proverb...\n\ngood luck, go slow and understand where he is coming from... but you know which course you have too take when it is time... give him a little time... but don't miss life... it's a hell of a ride rich or poor.
10795
I think that the answer to this question would be depending on how long you and him have been dating.  If you have been dating for years and he's getting pretty serious than he is just saying that he loves you, but he does not want to be without commitment until you are that old.  But, if you have only been dating for a little while than he was probably just being a smart mouth.  I personally think that expecting someone to wait until your fifty would be asking too much of that person, but that is just my teenage intuition talking.
667623
no sure how long you two have been dating, but beware.  Guys who usually rush into marriage thinking should send up warning flags.  I was in a relationship that moved like that one, and he was very emotionally abusive, and would most likely have been physically abusive if we had gotten married.
27743
It was my grandmother's funeral. I was 15. A guy I had had a crush on for years was with his family. He was 18. I was a kind of basket case b/c I was very close with my G-ma and had been alone in the house with her when she had her heart attack and died. He came over and asked if I was ok. I told him I would be ok but thanks for asking. He didn't say much else, but he just stood there beside me. After the funeral, when we were all at my grandparents' house, he came to me and asked again if I was ok. I told him yeah, I was. He asked me to take a walk with him so we could talk. I went and we stopped in the neighborhood park. We were sitting on the swings when he said that he was worried about me b/c I looked so fragile. (yes he really said that!) He asked me if I had any boyfriends. He had never shown any interest in me before! (He later told me he thought he was helping to take my mind off things by asking me about boyfriends!) I told him no I had only one guy I really liked and he didn't even know I was alive. He asked me who it was and he would talk to him! I told him flat out it was him. He said, "You like ME? Why didn't you ever say anything?" I told him that I never said anything b/c I was afraid he didn't like ME b/c he never acted like he even knew I was alive. After that we dated for 2 years and then he went into the military. He was killed in a car accident in 1984.
277207
Here is my outlook on suicide, it is the weak way out, I've had a couple of Friends take that way out. It is the most selfish thing you could do. I've seen what it does to the loved ones left behind. I don't know you but I can tell alot about you from your question, if you think that the 4 days you spent with some guy you met on the Internet was great, then you really need to ask yourself some questions, first is do I really want to care about a guy that would lie to me? 2nd is any guy that has to get a girl over the Internet is not worth it and he just told you things to get you into bed. And unfortunately there are sick guys that do that. And  3rd If he never talks to you again, So What, you are better off without him. There are a lot of good guys out there that will treat you like the good women I know you are. Your only 23 for crying out loud! You have a long life ahead of you. You will meet the right guy and have a great life! If you are willing to KILL yourself over 4 days with a Guy that lied to you and played you, then you need to take a few steps back and look at things. Do you want to give up the joy of having children? Do you want to give up how it feels to lay down with a man that really loves you? Do you really want to lose the joy of your first grandchild? Life is beautiful! Please think about it.
244405
I am a doctor and while having wild trouble with my wife, I decided to never be with here again.  I have 2 kids. A few months later, 4 to be exact, I started living with one of my patients, who is 40, and had a wild drive for me since 2 years ago. While being my patient nothing happened, but we started talking after I left my wife, never to return I thought. I lived with this woman for over a year, and that was the happiest time of my life. Nevertheless, my kids were having very serious trouble, and even though I did not wish to see my wife again, I decided to return to my kids and get them out of trouble. I will never stop loving my patient, she was the sweetest girl I've never known, but I cannot live happily with her while my kids are going down hill. I may be damned, but I need my kids to be OK for me to be happy, and they demand my presence. I could never feel happy while being with the woman I love while my kids are going through trouble. You being a virgin is not an issue to me, it should not be an issue to you, it should not be an issue for anybody loving you. What worries me is to find you left aside because this guy is married. I am not saying it is right or wrong, I am saying I doubt he will feel absolutely and sincerely happy with you while thinking about his kids. Been there, done that, don't go there, yo don't want to go there. You'll be happy for a while, and then you will know hell. Excuse my honesty, but I do not wish any human being to go through my experience. Hence I have the need to speak about it. And only anonimously. Take my word: you don't want this.\nPD: I am aged 46.
217535
Young lady, marriage is a VERY serious step to take.  If this man 'ripped your heart out' in the past, what makes you think he won't do it again after marriage?\n\nI'd BREAK THE ENGAGEMENT off!!...Then go out and parteeeeee to forget all about him!!
492123
Hi i was seeing this guy for 2 years, and as soon as we broke up i was so devastated and went into a state of depression, i ended up meeting up with some old friends of mine for some one nighters and it was the best thing i had ever done to boost my ego, then i started seeing this other guy about 2 months after and we were together for about 6 months and we now remain friends, he new what it was all about and thought it was a great relationship we had. I think you need to get your mind off the EX and have a little fun, it really helps.\n\n**Oh and the 2 year guy, he is one of my best friends and he has been trying to get me back since we broke up, he jokes that i am the only one he will really love, i can see myself marrying him, but not until i am ready to settle down. He's out doing the same thing, i love what we have**
128325
I was married to a man 22yrs older than me.  We divorced, through no fault of his, because I was young and wanted to party.  He has since died, but I'd give up everything to have him back again.. I'm 59 and he would be 81 this year.  I miss him very much and still love him.