we both know for a fact because it is there right in our faces and she has admitted to us(whilst she was drunk) on more than one occasion. and this has been going on since her husband has been away. he is our friend to and i know he suspects but we dont want to hurt him either. what should we do?
128337
I agree with loving_father.\nPut yourself in your friends shoes. How would you feel?\nI was in this situation once. My friends knew my GF was seeing someone else and didn't say anything. Needless to say, they are no longer my friends. Do the right thing.
19360
you need to talk to her about it and tell her that waht she did was very wrong and was not something a real friend would do! You need to tell her that you dont think you can trust her as much as you could before and tell her that you guys can still be friends but only if you want to and tell her that friends are suppose to keep secrets between just the 2 of you! Dont be mean about it to her but tell her that you got so hurt that she did that to you!\n      Good Luck and i hope everything works out!
526070
luk you need to explain it to her and let her know what happen...if she is a really good friend then she will understand..itz both of your fault because yall both did it and yall BOTH were drunk...but i mean if she isnt a gud friend she won't listen and she isnt worth it...but sometime in the next few dayz you need to tell her you understand wat you did waz wrong and you need to say your srry and tell her it waz stupid of you but it waznt just your fault and you and him need to sit down and talk to her and let her know BOTH of you need to take the blame not just YOU..well good luck...best of wishes i hope it turnz out good=)
600233
IF the man actually raped her, then I would tell her to go to the Police with this information!\n\nNow, if she doesnt, then I wouldnt put too much stock in her being raped, and that she was just unfaithful, and that any time you two dissagree, she may turn to this man, (and thats why he calls, to see if she is available again), for comfort, and that being in a sexual nature.\n\nI wish you well..\n\nJesse
500751
I don't mean to be judgmental but the least of your concern should be telling your bestfriend about it.\n\nYour concern should be first and foremost is the way you've been behaving (especially if it's still ongoing) and why did you allow yourself to be in this kind of situation and deceived the person whom you consider to be your bestfriend.\n\nI know that you are very much aware that what you're doing is downright wrong.  People will be telling you a lot of things with the foremost emphasis that you need to stop.  Maybe these will fall on deaf ears.  Maybe it will not.\n\nAnd my prayer is that it don't, that you will choose to act upon the situation and come to the realization that you are not only hurting your bestfriend but you're hurting yourself as well.\n\nYou've allowed yourself to be the "other woman" and settled...
492130
Why did he let you get that far out of control?  If I knew my wife was taking pills that might impact her ability to control herself when drinking, I certainly would have stopped her from getting trashed.  Then you get high on top of it all.  Man, there are some serious issues here beyond an apology.  As you grabbed that glass, or picked up that joint, or snorted that line, you yourself caused this.  If this how you both want life to continue, then sure just stop talking about it and move on, becasue then it will likely happen again and again.  However, if you are really sorry, and you really care about yourself and your husband, maybe it is time to take a close look at your life and decide if these kinds of activities are what you should be doing.  Don't buy the liquor, or the drugs or go to the parties that have them.  You control what goes into your body, no one else.
486002
Just stay out of it.  It is none of your business, let the friend take care of it.   The husband either knows about it or will find out about it in time.   Time always has a way of working things out, trust me on this one.\n\nIf you have ever heard of the statement "don't shoot the messenger"  there is a reason for it.  You bring bad news to someone, guess what happens......
224066
Just leave it alone, they'll most likely find out what she's doing eventually, but it's not up to you to point it out if you're not saving anyone from a dangerous situation or anything -- you're just looking for vengeance when you need to move on.  Believe me, you'll be better off if you just let this go...you'll get over it faster.
311116
At some point you're going to have to face what you did, I mean were there other people who saw who could tell your man, or do you think this person you kissed will take it personally. I understand what happened, we all have done some stupid stuff drunk. I would talk to the guy you kissed, no matter how uncomfortable it maybe, the last thing you need is this guy thinking it meant something and harassing you, you need to draw the line and say it was a mistake (who knows maybe he thinks it was a mistake too). As for your man, it's up to you whether you tell him, although IF there is even the SLIGHTEST possibility he will find out from other means then YOU need to be the one to tell him if you hope to stay with him, he will think more of your honesty if you come out with it than he will your dishonesty if he finds out through someone else. ALTHOUGH IF there is NO possibility he will find out I would say keep it to yourself, there's no need to drag your guilt out and punish him, believe me I know my boyfriend told me about some girl he had sex with then afterward he said, I feel SO much better for getting that off my chest, yeah well then I felt horrible and I wasn't the one who had done anything wrong!
167322
I've seen it before so many times and I sympathize.  I personally would re-assert the boundaries of your friendship with her in a nice way, emphasizing how that kind of behaviour could jeapordize your friendship with her and that you'd hate to lose her as the great friend she is over something like that.  Best of luck.
353399
If I were the guy, I would want to know. He sounds like he has morals and deserves much better than what he's getting. I wouldn't tell him until you have proof of what she is doing, that way she can't lie her way out of it and it would make things more believeable for him. If she gets mad, well she shouldn't be doing this to begin with, so she'd mad she got caught is most likely the real reason for her anger. Who knows what she could be passing on to the b/f and that's sad. If it were me in the situation and wondering whether to tell or not, I'd tell. I've been there and done that before and I have never once regretted it. I couldn't look someone in the eye knowing what I know that person should know and not tell. You and the b/f deserve better ppl in your lives.
620018
Obviously something else is eating away at your friend!  Most likely she believed you and its something else thats eating her. I'd say just let it go.  Things aren't always 100% perfect..... apologize that you didn't go and tell her you honestly thought that they wanted some time alone.  The majority of broken friendships are broken because of miscommunication.  Talk it through and move on.  Go do something fun together and you'll both forget this incident.
546339
i assume you werent interested. \n\ni think you are still friends...\njust make sure that you dont bring it up...if she brings it up, just tell her that you were really drunk and cant remember what happened. \n\nforget about it...totally...and dont talk to anyone else about it.
134203
I hear you. We have just been discussing this, but its crazy cause you dont want to be the bearer of bad news, but then again what kind of friend would just allow their friend to be hurt (no matter how). You say this guy is your friend, well, your a man, lift your chest up and confront him. If he doesn't come clean to his wife, you could always give him the ultimatum  that if he doesn't you will.  It will hurt her, yes it will whoever tells her, but truth hurts sometimes...\n\nIt is also very true that other people's love life, you most stay, way out of. So, I cant tell you what to decide...\nbest wishes
299058
It sounds like your guilt wants you to tell, but telling will only hurt her and make you feel better.  If it was a one night stand, let it go, otherwise someone's got to break it to her, preferably you.
261558
No. What she has done is very inappropriate and in my mind, VERY selfish. I imagine she wouldn't like to be on the receiving end of such a thing should you have done that; am I right? Bottom line is this - it is not right for her to spend an evening like that with a man who is not her husband. Period! The mere fact that she kept this from you is an indication that what she did wasn't right. Deep down, she knew this would upset you and rightfully so. But if it were so harmless, she wouldn't have kept it from you in the first place. I think to help resolve this situation you should ask her what makes it "okay" for a married woman to do such a thing? I'd also ask her what makes her think that you should be "okay" with it as well?!
521308
A real man and friend would tell his friend the truth.  Don't be stupid and do his wife.  Just because she hot doesn't make her not act like a ho.  She's desperate right now and trying to get out a situation because she got caught.  Thinks of this, if you do her, she could be a real b**** and flip it around and tell her husband that you came on to her.  Not only will she get out of her situation with him but she'll get out of her situation with you with a bonus from you to boot.  Tell him and whether he believes you is his problem.  Let him know that you have no reason to lie.  If he ends your friendship over this, trust me, she'll be stupid enough to screw up again and get caught then he'll feel like a fool.