The father of my baby wants to be in my life. I already have a man and he dosen't want him to be in my daughters' life. He raped me and did some other things to me and I am and now he threatned to take my child away. How I don't know but He not to long ago threatned me again and I am scared he will do something real crazy to me. What should I do should. I don't want my child life and my familys' life to be in danger but.... I am scared that he may want to get me back!
123992
You definitely need to contact somebody... Try starting with your local DVACK shelter... DVACK is for domestic violence... Tell them that you are scared for yourself and your child and get a protection from abuse order, he won't beable to come near you or the baby, and you can get your court proceedings started from there. you definitely need to talk to your local SRS office and tell them you want to start the custody to make sure you have residential custody, because if you don't, he has every right to that child just like you do.  He will beable to take her and there is nothing you can do to get that child back until you go through court and ask for visitation. That can take months to do, if he gets the child before you start the proceedings,and no child should go months let alone days without seeing their mother. If you hurry and do that, if he does take the baby, they could then issue an Amber Alert and put his butt in jail! Good luck, but act FAST, seriously!!!!!!!
279084
HE DOESN'T LOVE YOU!!!!!!   and there is nothing wrong with you!!!!  I'm sorry if this will hit you hard, but from what you are saying something is definetly wrong with this guy, and he is just using you!!   If he is telling you to get away, then you may need to make some Big changes with yourself and your baby
242195
leave him alone don't talk to him and don't answer his calls. hes using you for a booty call. after baby is born have DNA test and make him help take care of child. good luck and GOD BLESS YOU!!!!!!!
278313
Oh, honey! This man means you no good at all. You need to ask yourself, do I want my child to be raised up by this man who I know in my heart wishes that this child of mine was never born? You baby needs to be brought up in a Loving stable, and supporting environment. Always do what is best for your child, because they depend on you, and they are the ones that need you the most!! cut him loose. For the marriage thing, he could have had all of that taken care of by now if he really wanted to! Please believe me I went through something very similar! keep your head up, and raise your baby the right way with lots of Love! It will take a minute to get over him. It took me awhile, so I do know! Have him court ordered to pay support, that will help you out with medical bills, and all other things that your child needs! I wish you, and your child the very best!! You can do it!! I did!!
103856
i just want to say how much you really need to realise that you are a victim here, this man THINKS he can control you by telling you to bring the kid to him. why should you?? he is blatently exploiting you and your kindness. you need to be strong and only agree to meet him on your terms. as for your kid, you may feel that you are letting him down by not bringing him to his dad, but when he is older he will understand that you are doing your best by him and keeping him away from a harsh environment that no child should have to live in. I think you also need to PRIVATLEY notify the police and report him, before he gets worse and harms anyone else. you are the victim here, please do not let him intimidate you with his harsh words. they are only words and you should ignore them until he makes the effort.\ngood luck
505937
I am so sorry that you and your children have to deal with this man. I was married to a sociopath/narcissist man for 15 years. I thought I was going crazy. I've heard that the way to handle custody issues with a sociopath is to not let them know that they are upsetting you, they get some kind of thrill from hurting people who are wise to them. You've become a threat. Remember, to them, they are never wrong. They will never admit defeat. Know in your heart that a sociopath won't want to be tied down with the responsibilities of raising children. Their need for thrills is too strong and he will sabotage himself because they never learn from their mistakes. Try not to show how much he upsets you. There are a lot of resouses out there who can help you. Call the local mental health facility because you'll likely need support. I know that I've benefited from information about how they think; I have a hard time understanding it though. I've learned that I just have to accept the way they are and to keep my distance. They are their own worse enemy. A counselor would likely be helpful for you and your children. I wish you all they luck and lots of prayers. Be thankful that you saw who you were dealing with when you did!
619552
I think your ego has been severely injured. It just isn't morally right for a man to kick out his wife and baby. But it did happen so you must heal yourself first. Cry long and hard and get it all out of your system. Come to terms with what he did and then move on. He has to deal with that wrong-doing,  NOT YOU!\n\nAfter you have done that, stay busy, busy, busy.... map out a plan to get your life back together again. This plan should not include him (or any person that doesn't respect you / baby). \n\nFrom now on, everything you do is for the betterment of you and that baby. Raise that baby with much love and devotion and if you should happen to find the right man on the way, then he could pitch in and help you.  But until then your baby has only YOU to depend on. \n\n~good luck.
287252
Sweetheart, I went through years of hell with a man just like that; I stayed for my kids, and threw my life away.  I waited till the youngest was 15, then left.  My kids ALL said "what the hell took you so long- why didnt you leave him years ago", and when I said I had stayed for them, they called me all kinds of stupid, because they had been really unhappy and ashamed because everyone knew their father was a lush. I am 65 now, and just getting my life back.  What you have there is a self-centred, cold, thoughtless bastard who doesnt give a damn about you or the kids, hon, or he wouldnt treat you like a walking paypacket/ servant.  If you gave up your job and stayed at home what would he call you when he couldn't afford his drink and drugs?? YOU HAVE A LIFE; he has ruined his, dont let him ruin your OR your kids Get out of there girl; wheres YOUR anchor- he thinks its in your head, doesnt he? What this guy needs is an anchor tied round his neck and a swimming lesson.  Be brave; the first step is the hardest, but you can do this; do it for your kids, and do it for YOU.  God bless and keep you, and good luck in the great future you have waiting for you.
570588
Your story brings tear to my eyes. Maybe all you can do is emotionally fall apart. You need to grieve, and better now than having collapses when your baby is a toddler and getting on your nerves. It is going to be a whole new life for you, and you have to be prepared for some real suprises from him.  Get you court case ready - be prepared for even worse things - you don't know who your husband really is until you divorce him. Many men fight for custody when it comes time to think about child support - so be "prepared."  HE ALREADY HAS A NICE LITTLE STEP MOTHER THERE AND READY - SO STAY AHEAD OF HIM. Yes life is very cruel that when you are at your most traumatised you have to think about such horrid and practical things - but that is the way of divorce. It is the worst hell you will ever experience. I feel so sick that this is happening to you while you are pregnant and so terribly in need of protection and love. You have to starting thinking about the man you love as an 'opponent' now. It is easy to say but I know that it is a very difficult thing to do. Feelings are what thay are. What you need is to find people out there who will listen to you and let you cry on their shoulder. People are VERY IMPATIENT and they will expect you to get over things very quickly, so have more than one friend to lean on. You have a precious baby on the way and taking care of that baby (alone) will be fill up many spaces because of the overwhelming responsibily. You really have to find compassionate non-condemning, humble friends who can be there for you. You will be poorer - for sure so find some single mothers with babies - because they will be your greatest support system. Your social status has just changed dramatically - and that is one of the most difficult parts of single parentig.  So be "ready." I am sorry that I have very little that is positive to say. Just know that my heart breaks for you.
222529
from my experience, he is in contempt of court by not following the judges orders.  this is pretty devious but it was done to me and it worked wonders...have an order of protection put on him and request custody of your daughter.  order of protection are much more than a restraining order.  police action will be taken anytime you request.  of course all you have to do is tell your lawyer or just go to the special victims unit and that you feel your life is in danger or has been threatened.  he will be screwed.  it still haunts me.  police used to call my cell phone and ask we i was at the moment.  all because she said i drove by the house.  none of what she told the police was true, and it didn't matter.  that order of protection sucks.  anytime he violates it, automatic 10 days in jail.  its dirty but its one way to stick it to him.  good luck.  oh, and there was no investigation to see if she was even telling the truth.  they just issued it and enforced it.
310842
Okay, dude treated you like crap.  He destroyed all your self-confidence and left you feeling really low about yourself.  Him treating you like crap only when you were hanging out with your friends is not a minor thing.  That is a sign of a controlling, possessive person who wants to cut you off from your friends (support group) and have you depend on him for friendship and support.  That is not healthy.  \nThe fact that your dad made you break up with this guy is probably the catalyst in this situation.  You needed to make that decision on your own.  That power was taken from you.  You needed to realize on your own that this dude was NO GOOD and you wanted more and deserved better than you were getting.  \n\nI am speaking from experience.  I was in a similar situation- dating a guy who treated me like crap, my family and friends hated him and kept telling me that I deserved better but that made me want to stay with him even more.  I even moved 2 hours away from everything (family, friends, home) with him.  It lasted about a year and a half even though I was miserable the entire time.  I didn't think it would do any good to break up with him- he'd just come after me and we'd end up back together.  I didn't have a good enough reason to get away from him.  I had created a whole new life for myself with him, and breaking up with him meant giving all that up.  The only thing that made me come to my senses was getting pregnant.  It gave me a whole new perspective of my "new life" and the way I was living.  I came to realize that I did not want to raise my baby in that kind of environment around that type of person.  It gave me the strength to leave him and completely cut myself off from that life and move back to my hometown.\n\nIt might help to think about things from that perspective- if you did get pregnant, would you want this guy to be your baby's daddy?  Is that the life you would want for your child?  Is that the kind of environment you would want to raise a child in?  \n\nDo some soul-searching.  I highly recommend keeping a journal, it helps to sort through the tangle of thoughts, feelings and emotions connected with relationships of any kind.  Write it all out and then re-read it.  Even if you have to burn it afterwards to keep someone else from reading it-what you write may actually surprise you.  And remember:  You DO deserve better!  You are a good person who deserves to be treated in a good way.  Right?
594297
Looks like you're afraid of him having rights to raise this child should you die. If you don't want him to have rights to is child, you'll need to get him to sign a legal document signing his rights away.\nOf course if he does sign his rights away he won't be liable for child support.\nCheck with your local social services office & ask them... "If he signs away his rights to this child will /can the back child support still be collected?"...\nYes, do bring him forth & establish paternity.
553867
Do not by any means let them go w/ their father again is must be hard specially if the kids are asking to see him. I ve been thru the same thing he took my son away and at the time there was no court order so when i did call the police saying he didnt want to give me my one month old son back all they could do was stare at me and tell me there was nothing they could do since he was the father. He was very abusive and consumed drugs at the time but still nothing was done plz dont let them go for the saftey of your kids its hard i know but looking im pretty sure you will find whats just right and get the help you need
232207
I have been in almost the same situation. my bf got his ex gf pregnant while we were on a short break. I went back to him and now the child is almost 3. The ex is CRAZY, wont leave us alone. We have to pay 127 a WEEK in child support, which we cant afford and havent been able to pay the whole 127 a week so my now husband will be going to jail fairly soon. To make matters worse the ex had another son 6 months ago, 10 days before my daughter was born. and is now claiming it is my husbands. SO all I can say IS LEAVE HIM. It will never end. You will be alot more happier without him. ' YOU DONT WANT DRAMA WITH HIS BABIES MAMA'.
204982
Call the police. If he has raped you press charges. Just because you are married to some one does not give them the right to force sex on you. And your children will understand when they get older. The guy sounds crazy, you need to protect your family. You really need to talk to the police and see how they can help you. And turn to the Bible for answers as well. You do have scriptuall grounds for divorce and re-marriage. You really need to change your situation. Hope everything gets better for you and you children! I'll pray for you!
80355
As Tupac said" men have no right to tell a women when and were to create one". BF's come and go but that baby will be with you for the rest of your life don't make the child suffer for the decision he wants to make. It sound like you would be a great mom because that means you have already thought about leaving that sorry man. Cause if he knew he wasn't ready for kids he should have kept his stuff in his pants. It's all on you but let me tell you I lost my second child I don't know if his father thinks about him but i do and it happened 3 yrs ago and hurts every time i see a baby boy. MY Friend had an abortion and she regrets it and is now trying to have a baby but she doesn't know that no other baby is going to fill that void
272020
Go for it.... But before you do make sure your affairs are in order, make sure your bills are paid. MGive your daughter to someone who thinks straight and will be alive to take care of her.  In rea;lity this man might be a rapist a killer-- but hey throw caution to the wind and see if you can be another another number.