whats your favorite line or scene from donnie darko? if i like that one too ill give you the points \nheres my favorite one\n\nElizabeth Darko: You can go suck a f**k.\n\nDonnie Darko: Oh please tell me, Elizabeth, how exactly does one suck a f**k?
124512
I love the whole scene with the fear-love lifeline and when he is talking to Cherita and says "Promise me that one day, everything will be better for you." so sweet
117416
A guy walks into a bar with a salamander on his shoulder.  He asks, "I'll take a shot, and a cup of water for my buddy Tiny here."  The bartender asks, "Why do you call him Tiny?"  The guy answers, "because he is minute." [pronounced mi-nute]\n\nGet it?  Mi-nute, minute meaning tiny. My newt!  \n\nIt is so corny that it doesn't always translate to the written word.  It needs to be said out loud.
296988
what did Abraham Lincoln say to his wife b4 going to the play.\n\nGreat, I need theatre tickets like I need a hole in the head!!!!!!!!
132734
"Deal or no Deal"...I find myself yelling at the TV telling the contestant what to do. Keeps me on the edge of my seat sometimes.Plus you get to play along!!!!How much of the "Donald" can we take?
434470
However, Longoria says, "Stop the madness. Believe me, I would love to work with Beyonce one day. She's so talented. But this is definitely not something we are doing together. It's completely and absolutely not true. \n\n"What makes me crazy is that there are quotes out there, quotes from me saying it's true. \n\n"But in fact it's not true. And (there are) quotes of Beyonce saying it's about time we had a female Brokeback Mountain. And we're like, 'We never said that.'" \n\nKnowles' spokesperson also confirms the story was false: "This is not happening. We've never heard of this film." \n\n\n\n\n<sigh>that woulda been hot tho
485573
Dirty Larry and Crazy Mary....love that movie.\nActually, it might be Dirty Mary and Crazy Larry...I always get it mixed up.
577800
what the hell is fottie? sounds kinda dirty go do fottie\n\nBroc
49257
ooh! I almost missed this one =)\n\nOnce upon a time in Disneyland there was a Victoria's Secret model named Oscar Wilde. All night and all day her third cousin twice removed forced her to scrub the toilet. Then one day, she received a visit from the little old lady who lived it a shoe. The old lady says, "Hi! I am Papa Smurf and I am here to pump... you up. \nLost in an unbearable lightness of being, Oscar says to P. Smurf "how many licks *does* it take?", to which Papa replies, "They are the eggmen. I am the walrus. Goo goo g' joob!" \n\nSo then Oscar and Papa find a field of magic mushrooms and live happily ever after...or did they?
17167
Dude that movie rocked hardcore.  Anyway I see a question mark in there somewhere but I cannot decypher any kind of question.  That button at the top says "ask.", not "state."  kthxbye.
507414
Ma'am, aren't you the same lady who asked that hilarious "What would you DO in such a situation?" question before where you spoke of an 80 year old lady  and another hilarious hypothetical question involving pee?\n\nI just saw that I'd got three thumbs down for bursting into laughter there.\n\nMay I just compliment your great sense of humor, ma'am?\n\nI really needed these laughs.\n\nThank you.
246197
Me: (hands shaking, been trying to do this for weeks, been practically giving myself ulcers, so so nervous) Well there is something that I've been meaning to tell you and I'm sorry that it took this long for me to say it.  Maybe I should have said it sooner, but I can't take it back now... Diana is not my friend, she's my girlfriend, we've been together for almost two years now.\n\nMom: yeah, and?\n\nMe: And I'm bisexual\n\nMom: Well duh.  I'm not stupid.  (rolls eyes)  You two are just terrible at hiding it.  Every time she looks at you, you practically swoon and you hold hands under the table when you think no one is watching.  It's just about the most disgustingly cute thing I've ever seen.  \n\nMe: (long pause)  oh.  Well then.  So everything is ok?\n\nMom: Yeah (duh tone of voice).  Do you think we should have chicken ceaser salads for dinner?  Or maybe we should grill fish...
27346
"Father Goose" (1964)\n\nLieutenant Stebbings RAN: Mother Goose is requesting a chaplain. \nCommander Frank Houghton RAN: A chaplain? Good heavens, he's killed her. \nLieutenant Stebbings RAN: No, sir. They want to get married. \nCommander Frank Houghton RAN: Married? Goody Two-Shoes and the Filthy Beast? \n\n(all thanks to imdb.com) =)
378564
OH MY GOSH!!\nEEEEEEEEE!!!\nITS LIKE DEE BESTEST ONE EVA!!!!\nI SIMPLY LOVED IT ......totally rocking and supreme AWESOME!!!!\nSend us more jokes like these, plz. ANYWAYS IM GIVING IT A 10/10.\nCUZ IT MADE ME FALL TO THE GROUND LAUGHING And im definately gonna share this joke with my family n' friends.\nHILARIOUS!!\nI Mean freakin’ hilarious!!\nTwo thumbs up!!
391830
A little boy was caught swearing by his teacher.\n“Tyson,” she said, “you shouldn’t use that kind of language. Where\ndid you hear it?”\n“My daddy said it,” he responded.\n“Well, that doesn’t matter,” she explained, “I don’t want to hear\nthat language in here again.”\nAfter a moment, she thought she whispered aloud, “At least he\ndoesn’t know what it means.”\n“I do, too,” Tyson corrected. “It means the car won’t start.”
159358
marie: my mom is way prettier than you\njennie: then where did your looks come from?\n\n_______________________________________________________\n\nkaylin: i don't know what sucks more...your mom or her mouth!\n\nolivia: you could judge that.\n____________________________________________________________\n\nriana: what do you get when you kill susan?\nsusan: uhh...\nriana: a happier life!
138087
Last night as D.J. and I lay together, I pondered this very same question.  Is D.J. truly gay.  I thought yes.  \n\nThe way I figure it, the poop on D.J.'s tiny phallus indicates that he is at least curious.  However, the poop on my phallus indicates he's already joined the team.  \n\nStill I wondered until D.J. removed all doubts.\n\nAs I pulled my manhood from the vacuum of his eager lips, D.J. exclaimed "bring back your sweet cream-sicle, I want to gobble your load!"  \n\nD.J. is truly the "queen" of fairytopia.
105252
why does keano reeves suck? why do they make 10 pack hot dogs and only 8 pack hot dog buns? Sometimes things are the way they are. Who knows?