My old well Ill say girlfriend moved away with my heart for two years.  I still love her but I then found another to love. I dont know if i can love two people but the sugar never cheated, But spice did.  And im still in love with her if you seen my first question. she wants me back,But i dont: Yeah im lying i love her and my sugar is coming back to chicago for good. I dont want to lose her but what if spice is the one and not sugar, or sugar the one and not spice.  I need help bad
131822
you are the one who can really only awnser this question, you have to dig deeper into your heart, and see which one you really want to be with.
497672
While it sounds like you once had a lasting relationship with this long term guy, it is obvious that things weren't working for him when he was close to you.  He left you because he didn't want to be with you, nothing more, nothing less.  \n\nAs a guy I know when we look to come back, we all come up with so many excuses as to why we left, how much we now know and understand, how foolish we are, and how much we miss you.  Bla, bla, bla!  \n\nBottom line is if he is smart, he knows how emotionally attached you are/were and is playing it in his favor because he is lonely or that his reason for leaving you (if it was for another girl) isn't working out in his favor (sex only takes a relationship so far). An instant fix is to get back with you until he recalls why he left, gets his booty call from you, or until something better comes along.  \n\nYou are safe with him, but because he left once, it would be a very safe bet he would take off again once his old feelings or someone hotter comes around.  Believe me, if you go back with him, it will happen again.  You would be wasting your time.  Move on!  Holiday season doesn't help with emotional stuff like this.  \n\nKeep in mind, HE LEFT YOU...you owe him nothing not even a second chance.  He should have thought about that when you were asking him to come back before you became involved again.  As a guy, it is tempting to want/take something you feel you can't have.  In a sick way, your sityation offers a challenge for him to see if he can get you back one more time (ego thing) and be better/win over the new guy.\n\nSounds to me like you are very young, (under 25) and got involved with someone new before you got closure with the old guy.  Just as the guy who left you, you are doing a disservice to your new "love" if you even consider being torn.  How would you feel if he was dragging an old flame into your relationship?  \n\nIt seems like you have a real issue of being alone.\n\nIf it was me, I would break up with both or stay with the new guy, but in the future, take 4-6 months off before you get emotionally involved with anyone else.  Today, neither one of them seem to be that special (seems to me like you are carrying emotions for both and have made things complicated for everyone).  If I was dating you and I found out I was only as important to you as a guy who by choice dumped you on your ass, I would be so checkling out!\n\nDo some healing/reading on divorce/relationship recovery and always remember and learn from what your prior boyfriend did to you.  Follow and recall his past and current actions not his words (that stuff is easy).
635601
I know most people will tell you no, but I think it is possible to care deeply for more than one person, and isn't caring deeply about someone what love is about? However, the problem here is that if you truly love both people, you will have to come to accept the cold truth: you will have to hurt one or both. If you love them both, then this will be a difficult decision. If you don't choose, though, you will hurt both people by default. I would think that you would want to save the love of one person, instead of losing both, so you had better come to a decision before it's too late. My recommendation would be to save the 11 year relationship. At least you know that love has staying power, but what about this new one - will it only be thrilling when it's new?
5751
I went through the same thing and after I decided to go back with the old fling because I still loved him I remembered why I couldn't stand him.  Funny thing is I realized that the other guy I loved more.  Try to think back why it didn't work out in the first place.  Make a list to yourself about why you love one and the other and you might be surprised by the answer.  It may not be love your felling for both.
554205
your girlfriends supposed to be gay and she cheated on you with a guy?? she's probably cheated on you more than this guy that you know of. to me you just seem as back burner and i don't mean it in a harsh way, but you seem to only be with her if it suits her, when no other man is interested. Cut your losses and leave her. I know it is going to suck for a while but then someone great will come around, someone who actually respects you enough to not cheat. You are always going to care about her in some way or another, but only time will stop you from loving her that and space. you're definitely going to need to get away from her for awhile. hope i helped
193238
if you still love him, and really really want him back in your life and into your future, then get up right now and start packing your bags! your going on a trip to get your ONE and ONLY back! even though he lives 8 hours away from you, it doesnt matter! you should fight for him and do anything to get him back, right?! and if it will cost you money, it still doesn't matter, what would you rather lose? your money or the ONE you truly want and need? of course you would rather lose money than the person you loved, right? and when you get to him... tell him how you really really love him so much... tell him that you would rather lose all the things you have than lose him! tell him that you will NEVER EVER do anything to hurt him again! tell him that you would change and go back to the real you just like in the old days... and tell him that you really need him and want him in your life! especially, tell him that you wouldnt change into the self that was dishonest and the self you didnt like before... then tell him you really love him! over and over and over and over again!!!! =)
436619
Nomad is very right!  But if your separation was just heat of the moment, I reckon the second time will be sweeter.  I believe in 2nd chances and if yous can work it out and start again, things will be stronger.  I would love to be in your ex bf's shoes, as for now, my situation with my spouse is near over and final.  But through this, you'll be a better person/lover, if not for your x bf, your next bf.  Good luck and best wishes!
287682
Brandi\n\n That's a really tough situation.  You didn't say why he's an ex, but it's obvious that you both still have feelings for each other. \n\n You've got three options:\n\n1- Just friends: This is probably the toughest, since there's something on both sides that is pulling you together.  If you're in another relationship then you cannot take this any farther than "just friends."  Talk to this guy and ask him to help ensure the relationship stays platonic (not romantic).  Then be very, very careful to maintain your distance, so the kiss thing doesn't happen again.\n\n2 - Get back together.  Again, I'm not sure what heppened the first time.  There have been thousands of relationships that have split and then gotten back together.  Without knowing more details about the first time around, I can't say if that might be successful here.  But it sounds like you should at least consider the possibility.\n\n3 - Or just don't see each other at all - neither as friends or as lovers.  If neither of the above can work for you, this is the only course left.  It's tough, but you have to make a decision and stick with it.  Be very, very careful not to put yourself in a situation where either of you might slip.\n\nOne final bit of advice: men and women see relationships differently (in general; there are always exceptions).  Odds are that for you this is a heart issue, for him it's another body part.  I don't mean to be callous - he could be a sensitive, romantic, sweet guy, but there's a possibility it's still about wanting a physical relationship.  Or maybe you just have the hots for his bod - although from your question it looks like it's much deeper than that.  But keep that in mind as you explore those three options above.\n\nSo look at what happened the first time around, weigh your other relationship, what you're capable of, and what you know about him. Evaluate each of the three options.  The important thing is that once you make a decision, stick with it - go out of your way to make sure you follow through 100%.  Good luck, and I hope it works out great for you!
129557
I think he's going to end up cheating on you again.  He continues to lie, and obviously still has feelings for this other woman.  Knowing that you both have been unfaithful makes me think that there are some serious problems in your relationship that you just aren't willing to address or work out.  I know that being with someone for that long can make leaving them all that much harder, but you need to step away from the relationship.  Yes you were both wrong, but that doesn't mean he can't forgive you and stop holding your actions over you head.  Have you forgiven him?  There really is no trust in your relationship anymore and I just don't see a realtionship working out in the long run if the partners can't trust each other.  Hope this helps, good luck!
617747
Yes! it sounds to me like you two are definatly in love. and if she didn't give you a good enough reason, like "i met someone else or i want to explore my options" then i think she still loves you, it is just too painful for her to be apart for so long. so i think you need to talk to her. dont just go over there and pop the question right away. but talk to her, make her fall in love with you again and then tell her you need her and that you two need to spend the rest of you lives together...then... "will you marry me?"
641777
You're so not an idiot!  You love someone, plain and simple.  My husband and I broke up before we were married for two years and I never stopped loving him.  I knew that we were going to be together again, despite what everyone else told me.  Now, 6 years later, we are happily married.  Never stop loving that person, no matter what.  Even if they dont come back into your life, the love you feel, and the pride that comes from that can never be taken away from you.  You own those feelings...enjoy them!
485715
Your big mistake was telling your gf  that it was your ex that taught you how to tongue kiss, and maybe you shouldn't of told her you couldn't eat for nine months after she broke up with you...or maybe it was the fact that you told your sex life with your ex ''to the women your suppose to love'' this women has never had a relationship with another male before you '' not even a kiss'' yet you took it upon yourself to hurt her as a women and wife to be...yeah from your suppose to be soul mate...no wonder i get angry with you...let the ppl answer your question with all the truth ''over and out''
228715
I am in a similar relationship, but I know she's the one, the circumstances are just tough for us.. being so far away. Test your love.. while he's away, take space and see how you really feel without him. At first no matter what, it will be so hard.. but it will get better. Then.. the test comes.. after not having him in your life much, have a long talk and see how it feels. I lost her because I doubted someone so great could love me.. but after she gave up on me.. I realized how much she really does love me.. and slowly I am gaining back her trust, and she has all of mine.
396416
Why did you all split up?? Could it not work out with the 2 of you?? Have you told her how you feel, maybe you should. But if it just won't work out then you'll have to do what all us crazy people do when we love someone and they don't love us back is give ourselves some time and it will heal all the pain. Hope your heart feels better!!!!
191550
how long have you known this woman . marry outside of her religion well i am not the kind to stand in the way of love my frien but have you known her for a while or what well that your right i guess let me be the first to say i hope you and this woman will be happy together in my opion it is you as well marry a woman in her religion she cant marry out of her religion i guess well hope all is fine with you in about.2. years from now god bless in my opion i really hope you know what you are doing well anyway i wish you the best you i figure will need it i am not a person to stand in the way of love but that was quick wish you and the woman the best again ?
431430
No insult here, but your runner up in the great sensual game of her life.  Of ALL the people she has met... YOUR SECOND.  The other woman ... SHE'S FIRST.  If the other woman didn't exist, you two would be romping around in sensual glee... but, my dear, you are Al Gore to her G.W.Bush.  Painful as it may be your 49% to her 51%.  If you can deal with that and WAIT until it MAY POSSIBLY SOME DAY GO BAD, then you are pathetic and don't have self esteem, because while she is deep down on the other girl, your going to be all alone eating bon bons and ben and jerries just waiting for your turn to taste her.  FIND SOMEONE THAT'LL MAKE YOU NUMERO UNO.  Don't settle for runner up in someone else's race. You want someone to say "You are the only person I have ever wanted to be with for my entire life."  Instead your waiting for "Now that the other girl is gone, hey lets have fun."  Grow some self worth, grow some balls, and find YOUR mate.  Go right now, find someone else.
506852
Wow, this is a tough issue.I just want to thank you first of all for this oppritunity. I want to congradulate you for going 2 1/2 to three years. Your relationship has lasted more then most marriages. \nNow you said that you lost trust, and I am not clear why you lost trust and then start checking the phone bills, but there must have been a underlining factor that triggered your lost trust. It could be the way of communication or time comittments with one another have changed. Items along those lines with past experence lead to this dis trust.\nI don't know your boy friend, but something tell me thatthere is a reason why he calls this female friend. evidentally she is giving somethins he needs that he is not getting from you. You mentioned that he communicates with the other woman about collage classes and the foot ball team. Does he talk about these things to you? If he does then he is hiding somthing, if not, then this is somthing that the other woman is providing.\nIt sounds like the other woman is interested in your BF. If it was only a friendship, she would be concerned about how he is relating to you.\nAltimatums is not good. Everyone looses in those cases. What you should do is communicate with your bf that you have no problem with the other woman, but OYou would feel more secure if you were included with these talks about foot ball and school. Invite the other woman over and go have coffee with them in your company showing that you and your bf are a comitted couple. If your bf is willing to comply with that then work from there and keep him. He should always make you his number one priority. You are his BEST friend. Everyone else is second. You have 3 years invested in this relationship, which is a huge investment, because you can not buy back time. \nAlso, always brag about your bf to everyone you two know Guys love that Mention good deed and attributes. Just don't over do it.\nIf and/or when things work oiut. You are going to have to forget the past and move on. Never mention the past  aginst anyone you love and they should practice the same to you, and everything will be Great, in a AWESOME kind of way. take care, Bye