Okay men and women cheat. When do we keep and obey the vows of marriage? What is so uncontrollable that you must seek sexual pleasure outside of your marriage? When is enough, enough? HELP
138424
because human by nature has no contentment... no matter what, we will never be happy for what he have and what others have... there'll always be someone better and not so better than us...
458732
Despite the emotional burden, I think almost all women would want to know if they are being cheated on.  Cheating rarely has anything to do with the quality of the marriage but the cheater's inability to commit to a strong vow such as marriage and to control their actions.  If the marraige is that bad, there shouldn't be cheating and decietfulness, there should be divorce. The reasons cheaters tend to stay cheaters is because they don't want to change.  I think it can be changed, but the cheater has to learn a little bit about making decisions according to priority and responsibility, not impulse.  The cheater must also learn where their weaknesses are happening and how to deal with them in a proper manner.  They must learn to avoid cheating of the mind first, then they can free themselves of onsetting thier own urges.  They must change the way they think about cheating (it's not a positive, rewarding thing).   After that, it's all a matter of decision making and devotion.
440324
Why not ask my ex-wife who thought it would be better to go out with a 53 year old married man instead of working on our marriage.  (Just a little vent here, I'll feel better, LOL.)\n\nI do believe too many folks give up too easily, or don't really try at all, or have unrealistic expectations of what marriage offers. \n\nMarriage is not give and take, it is give.\n\nI don't recall anything in my vows that said I'll be there unless I'm not happy.  They were a pledge to be there, regardless of circumstance.\n\nToo many folks either don't take traditional vows, or don't really think they mean anything, given the numbers of divorced people today.\n\nI don't know how to help folks decide that they are going to try.  All it takes if for one of the partners to bail out for the marriage to be over. \n\nSo we can coach and coach, but if one partner is selfish and chooses affairs, or abuse, or abandonment and divorce over working through the issues, I really don't know how you can solve that.\n\nI certainly wanted to work on the issues, but was unable to convince my ex-wife that her affair with a married man was a worse solution than working on our marriage.\n\nAnd the courts and society at large seems to go right along with her line of thinking.  If you are unhappy, don't bother looking at yourself, blame your partner and find another seems to be the way things are done.\n\nI agree, often they will end up with the same problems because they too are part of the problem, but failed to address that aspect of it.\n\nYou can run away from your spouse, but you cannot run away from yourself.  So if you have things that you need to address about yourself, then do that BEFORE you choose an affair or divorce.
189915
Dr. Phil addressed this on one of his shows.  He said that it can be an addiction and that it is not fair to the woman!!!  Each time it happens it is like a betrayal and it tells the woman that you are not what I desire.  Plus it hurts like hell!  I had problems with this personally and I almost lost the man I am about to marry.  We argued over this for over 2 years while dating and engaged.  Finally, he got some good advice from his Dad and told me that he would give it up if it bothers me that much.  It's hard to trust again after this happens but it is worth it if you love him.
161828
I can understand your frustration... I really can. But infidelity is a very large burden to bear. You say that you love your wife? Have you honestly sat down with her and openly talked about what you need sexually? Most men won't...they ask for sex, but they don't really talk about it. Even though it may be hard, have the talk with her. She may have issues that you don't even know about, and she is using her "medical" problems to avoid intimacy... I have done the same in the past (most women have at one time or the other). She could also have a legitimate reason, and you will have to make the decision if being celibate is what your willing to practice if you stay with her. Tough decisions definitely await you. Peace.
106730
Hey man I know where you are coming from. My wife just told me that cheated on me with another man about 2 months ago. I went nutts, but not too bad. Luckily she told me at our preachers house. After she told me I did not know what to do. Because in the bible it states that that is the only reason for divorce. I sat down and talked with her and the preacher. We agreed that we would stay together. I wanted to leave her but then I didn't. I love her so much, and not only because we have kids. I am still having a hard time getting over it. Like I said it has already been 2 months since she told me and I still can not sleep nor trust her. There are still times when I want to leave but I can't because I love her too much. Also you don't want to go out and do the same thing she did. It won't do any good, except have a burden on your shoulders. Just hang in there man. Pray about it and see what God wants you to do. God Bless!
491677
I feel the same about my wife.  I still love her but I look at other women & find them sexy & want to be unfaithfull but I have never done it.  It's a difficult one but all we are doing is denying ourselves a beutifull sex life.  I think all that you could do is have casual sex with no strings & try not to let your partner find out.
234089
I'm not married yet, but my take on marriage is that it's the most sacred promise you can make to someone. People just don't honor it the way they should.
490944
This is my first and only marriage and sometimes we both get bored, but that is the challenge. We keep mixing it up. Nothing kinky but we rediscover each other. Where there is no challenge, there is no marriage.
272160
People have sexual desire outside of love because it is part of our fallen human nature. Desiring a person of the opposite sex is natural and God created men to like women and vice versa. God also created an institution in which sexual pleasure can be experienced without it being a sin and that is where marriage comes in. It's in a marriage that love can truly be expressed in sex. So please don't confuse the two sex does not equal love. If you love someone and if they love you. Then they and you should be willing to wait and then make a lifelong commitment where sex can be enjoyed as God intended in marriage.\n\nYes you can find true love in Jesus. You can also find healing in Him and restoration and forgiveness. And when you have experienced that with Him He will free you to experience love in the human plain.
614843
Why do you have to cheat? I can't see any reason you have to cheat. As you say that your husband doesn't treats you the way you want him to so ask him for a divorce. First get a divorce and then get married with a new guy who would truly love you and treat you well. Why do you have to cheat?
33372
You can control your sexual desire if you really want to. 5 times a day is alot to ask of your partner. Perhaps the two of you could come to some type of agreement and meet halfway on the issue, thats what makes a marriage work.If you are only thinking about your needs then you are being selfish, which makes a marriage relationship very difficult.
238739
Most of us just go with the flow... unfortunately we are surrounded by so many influences and we make an easy target of marketing and shallow ideas.    Nowadays our expectations involve cool wardrobes and hot sport cars better than developing the skills needed to grow old with dignity, one can easily ditch our nice, smart and faithful couple for the 1st opportunity for meaningless sex!!!\nIts a matter of attitude, and having a good marriage is worth it, but takes effort..
251548
My Husband never cheated, but if a husband was going to cheat I'd rather know. If its over its over,he should be honest enough to tell you.Two things to be done after that , either forgive him and NEVER bring it up again. Anyone can make a mistake once, only a fool does it twice.And personally I would not stay married to a fool.
337315
Hmmm why do people feel the need to add third parties to their marriages when they are having problems? Why not discuss the problem with your spouse and maybe try counseling? And marriage is about a lot more than just sex. If you're ready to just drop your pants and jump in the bed with another man maybe you don't need to be married. Get a divorce, be single and screw all ya want!!
122671
Married or not if you have a commitment with someone you should not cheat. You should ask yourself if you are wanting to cheat on someone, why not just leave that person and let them move on to someone who cares for them. I consider cheating when you do anything intimately with another person other than your significant other. That could be holding hands, intercourse, kissing, and even sharing and in depth meaningful conversation. It is wrong because you are taking something sacred from your partner. People, I think cheat because they need some kinda of reassurance that they can attract someone other than they're partner. This is caused by low self esteem. If you are contemplating this don't hurt your partner for your own self gratification. ITS WRONG
586527
why is it when we buy a car we test drive it first? why is it when we buy fruit that we eat, we pick it up and sqeeze it to make sure it is good? we do this to make sure it is good right? so why cant we test drvie our relationships and sqeeze our future spouses? i think it should be ok t obe with this person fully before you get marreid, what if you marry a pervert, that wants sex all the time, or what if he like to watch porn all the time.or what if you married a guy who deosnt sleep at night and loves to be on the computer all the time,make sure you married what you want and not what you have to deal with. thats what i did.