everytime i mention sex to my boyfriend he always gets this nervous laugh and changes the subject. it took about 10 months into our relationship to say the term sex b/c i was terrified of his reaction. i know hes not a virgin, ive seen his *cough* um.. nudeness stuff before and its big, but sex bothers him for some reason! he has no problem talking about others having sex to me but when its us he gets quiet or HE GETS ALL GIGGLY!! wtf is up with this? what is the right way to confront him about sex?
135724
Sorry to you other ladies, but sex is one subject that you cannot just "talk" about. First of all, because us men don't show emotions, and secondly, because problems in bed also mean the guy isn't manly. So that is like a double whammy.\n\nThe guys have is right in here. Throw him down and make him do it.
436799
Relax, it is just who he is.  Growing up we all experience life differently and develop different ideas regarding how to treat people.  Your current boyfriend sounds like he has grown up with the idea that men shouldn't be aggressive and force sex on women.  I can relate to him in that to a large degree I feel the same way.  We see and hear so much about men forcing women into having sex that some of us tend to go over board the opposite direction.  He feels like he is doing the right thing by waiting for you to initiate things rather than forcing it on you.  The best thing you can do is to talk to him and let him know it is ok for him to initiate things some times.  Realize though this will be hard for him to do so be patient and be glad you have a guy that respects you and doesn't feel like your required to have sex with him when ever he wants it.
398132
well, first of all (and I'm not a sexist) he is a guy. Guys like talking about their sexual relationships ( even non existent one). If he is commited to making the information public there is pretty much nothing you could do. Except either turn it into a joke (it might work), or denying it (it rarely works), ot else you could make it sound that it's not a big deal ( which really depends on your age - if you are less than 25 you wouldn't probably want to do this).\n\nI hope my advice is useful and everything works out for you! Best of luck!
19706
I agree with the previous response. There should be something more to this relationship than sex. When you guys aren't sexin' what's his conversation like? Does it go beyond sex? If you're trying to be with this guy in the long-run you've got to look at when all the sex dies down & Viagra isn't working--can he entertain & please you mentally? Can he love you without the sex? \n\nOther things to look at is if he seems bored with you if you're not giving him sex? Does he take you out in public? Or is this strictly behind the scenes? Does he call you just to talk or check-up on things? Or does he only call when he wants the booty?? There's a lot of things to look for in a man to tell if he's strictly about sex, but you've just got to open your eyes & see. I waited almost 1 yr. before I gave up any sex, becaue I had to be absolutely sure my man loved me for me. Not for my puss puss.
277020
it sounds like he has excitement when in the bedroom but it's a good thing for you. Just tell him how you like it. but he is the only one who actually knows if he had sex before you or not. I would think that he's been waiting for you and now he has you so he can't help himselve and goes faster and longer. i wish you the best of luck. i think it would be best to get a guys point of view because they would now.
62996
I think he is afraid of the reaction other people would have if he told you that. Some people really do talk when they hear about relationships. Summing it all up; can it be fear?
496674
People aren't mind readers, you should talk with him to let him know what you were feeling. Try to look at the situation from his point of view: you had sex with him, so that must mean things were cool between you, and then you storm out. he's probably confused at those two very mixed signals you gave him.\n\nIf you care about him talk to him, and tell him the ways you thought he was "acting funny". If you want to break it off with him.. at least do him the courtesy of telling him why
104864
You need to let him know sex is not something to be ashamed of. It is an expression of the love you two are suppose to share. Try (not saying you don't) showering, feminine cleaning, lotioning, lightly perfuming, lighting candles before he gets home, fix a romantic table (in your room) with flowers & dinner & lying naked on the bed with soft stimulating music playing. If that doesn't work try getting some xxx rated movies to watch together. If that doesn't work then I'm sorry sweetie but it's time for you to move on. Oh ya I forgot to tell you to talk sexy to him & let him know you want to give him the best he's ever had. *ROCK HIS WORLD GIRL!!!!*
666398
Why are you so upset? He is not hiding it from you,\nso no dirty secrets. Ask him if you can watch with him.\nMaybe the male version of this. You both could have some\nlaughs and fun together.\nWhat do you mean by "Our sex life is regular".\nMaybe it should be less regular and a bit more "Off the wall"\n"Regular" is boooooring! Let him try some of the stuff he\nsees on his computer and maybe you could come up with \nsomething new or naughty too - could be more fun \nfor both of you and not soooooo regular. \nMake LOVE not WAR!!!!
492654
that is very odd. girls are the ones who act like that after having sex with a guy. he may have been a virgin and is still not comfortable around you or he might be feeling guilty about something he is hiding from you, for example: he might be hiding the fact that he has an STI
491583
It may be awkward, but going slow and talking about it both are best ways to find out. He may not know either, so may want to experiment. Talk about it before and after, so you both know if things were good and where things need to improve. \nIf you are feeling strange, 1. he will pick up on this. 2. imagine how he feels. He may wonder if you don't want to have sex with someone with his problems. Instead of silently wondering, try opening up with desire for him, and frustration at feeling strange and not wanting to hurt him. Tell him you want it to feel good for him.
262320
maybe hes just not ready to have sex.\nif hes already had sex then maybe he doesnt like her as much as he says he does.\ni say tell her to talk to him about it& if nothing works out then break up with him.\nsometimes you need an emotional as well as a physical relationship.\ngoodluckkk
151978
I'm going to answer your question by answering the question I think you're really asking...lol.  Your boyfriend isn't bragging on his penis, or even obsessing on it.  He's talking dirty during sex.  Many people, male or female, are aroused by dirty talk with their partner.  When both partners aren't into it, however, it can be pretty horrible.\n\nI've been with a few partners that just got overboard with it, to the point where I started to laugh and it just ruined the whole experience.\n\nIf it bothers you, tell him, but be gentle.  He might not even realize he's doing it.  There's actually an episode of "sex in the city" that is on this same topic that was hysterical.  Don't take it personally, he's not trying to make it worse for you, if anything he thinks he's "enhancing" the experience for you.\n\nGood luck!\n\n(And p.s. I'm with you, dirty talk during sex does nothing but distract me.  It's like a cheerleader shouting directions to the quarterback.  Leave me alone...I know how to score...lol.)
170509
I think there's no beating around the bush with this one.  You're pretty much just going to have to come out and say that you need verbal validation from him.  You understand that he loves you and wants to be with you sexually, but that you need to hear sometimes how wonderful he thinks you are.  Make sure you reassure him that you know that he loves you but that you just need him to say it once in awhile.
146765
Yes my dear, I know what you mean. If you're scared, don't go. \n\nDoes he know you're a virgin? You didn't say how long you two have been dating. If you've dated him a long time and he knows you are a virgin and has been respectful, never questioning you or pressuring you, then it MIGHT be okay. I still think if you are afraid or it makes you uncomfortable, then you should do what feels right to you and not go. If you feel you might be pressured to have sex and you are not ready to, then do not go. \n\nI am not a virgin any more, but know how this feels. Let me share a story with you:\nI am a single woman (previouly married many years ago). I was dating a guy for a few months and I really liked him, but had not had sex with him. We kissed on our dates, and it was very hot, but kept it at that level, just kissing, no "heavy petting". He invited me on a ski trip for a week. We had not travelled together before, or even spent a weekend together, so I was a bit hesitant. (I should have paid attention to that feeling; that was my intuition.)  I really did not think he would pressure me. He had been very well mannered. I would not have gone otherwise. I knew spending that much time together would let us really get to know each other. We got along well and it would be fun, especially because we both like to ski.\n\nOn that trip, he started by wanting me to sleep in the same bed with him. I actually didn't have much choice, the room only had one bed. I should have known right there that a real gentleman would have made sure there were 2 beds or asked me if I was okay with the sleeping arrangements. I felt a little uneasy about it, because I was not ready to be so physically close to him. But I figured it was okay, and kept my gown on. Well, it just got worse each night. By the 4th night he was pissed off that he had "paid to take [me] on this trip and [I] wasn't being accomodating". He got more and more demanding. He flat out told me he "deserved" to have sex with me! He was a real jerk about it! Rather than a really great time, it became a degrading experience for me.  Needless to say, we stopped seeing each other after that. \n\nThat was years ago but I learned a lesson. For me: I would never go on a trip with a man unless we were crazy about each other,already in a commited relationship, and had already made love before that trip. I turned down several trips, but I did not want to be in that position ever again! Yuck!I did not go on a trip with a man again until all of my criteria were met, and what a difference! It was worth the wait.\n\nI commend you for being a virgin. it's a rare thing these days. If you are not ready to lose your virginity, don't!\n\nJust because a man pays for a trip, no woman "owes" a man sex in exchange. I have asked several men (yes, all kinds, including wealthy, well educated, well-mannered upper class men, like the man I had gone on that ill-fated trip with) about this and unfortunately many men seem to think that accepting the invitation of going on a trip is some unspoken code for "there will be vacation sex." They assume "the woman knows [he] wants sex on a trip." So don't go unless you want that too.\n\nYou do what feels right for YOU, not your boyfriend. If he really loves you, he will not pressure you. He will understand. If he doesn't, then break it off. You are special and need to be with someone who truly understands and appreciates you. Good luck!
609157
OK,  since he is not yet an UNMARRIED man and has held on the "separation" status for this time.  You must assume he is not fully over his past.  If he is, then he is not ready to commit to you, or he would have done it.\n\nMen are, above all, opportunists when it comes to sex.  The only thing that keeps us from the biological imperative of being as "friendly" as possible with as many as possible is the fear of being caught.\n\nIf he has just upped things, I see two possible answers:\n1) He got a sample of Viagra or equivalent from his doc--and he wants to impress you .\n2) He has some insecurity brewing and it's his way of making himself feel better (which sucks if he doesn't get off)\n\nYou are sharp to pick up on the fact that we can actually want sex wiht you MORE if we are having it with somone else too.......I don't know why this is, but it is.
65865
He is pressuring you. If he loves you, he will wait. Also, if he says that you need to, then you need to leave him. In addition, you may need to "take the wind out of his sails." If he calls you a wimp, baby, or other degrading things (i can't mention) then you can possibly say "maybe I am a [insert word here], but I am not going to have sex.\n\nI know it sounds corny, but remember - No means No!