I found out that he cheated on me with her just recently i would say the end of last year and not just once. he continued to do so. she has been a major problem in our relationship and has done a lot of damage to us. he also lived with her and lied to me saying he was staying with a family member.. i also am no angel. i cheated on him twice, once two years ago and once last year, and he found out about that and he got pissed and thingswent wrong. what i am trying to ask is..i know that we are both wrong for what we did but i stopped what i did and he continued. he lied to me every week for 4 1/2yrs. why doesnt he see what i am saying?? why does he say i did wrong too when i know i did? is it because he's trying to put the blame on me and not him or what is it? before i found all this out he said that he wouldnt do anything to mess up our relationship but he lied about that to. i love him, i just cant let go. will he cheat on me again? are we equally wrong or is it the other way around?
129557
I think he's going to end up cheating on you again.  He continues to lie, and obviously still has feelings for this other woman.  Knowing that you both have been unfaithful makes me think that there are some serious problems in your relationship that you just aren't willing to address or work out.  I know that being with someone for that long can make leaving them all that much harder, but you need to step away from the relationship.  Yes you were both wrong, but that doesn't mean he can't forgive you and stop holding your actions over you head.  Have you forgiven him?  There really is no trust in your relationship anymore and I just don't see a realtionship working out in the long run if the partners can't trust each other.  Hope this helps, good luck!
23647
1) He lied to you more than once.\n\n2) He is stringing along two women.\n\nThere is an old saying that goes, \n\n"Fool me once, shame on you.\nFool me twice, shame on me."\n\nLove is hard, but it becomes even harder when sex clouds your judgement. Only you can really know what is best for you. If it were me, I would let him go. Obviously he needs to get something out of his system. WHile he is doing so though, he is also putting you at risk for a broken heart and possibly an STD. Perhaps he needs to see what life would be like without you. I would not exactly be sitting by the phone while he took the time to find out what he wanted out of life either. It is true, maybe now he is ready to change. On the flip, he could also be trying to see how far he can really go with both of you. If both of you keep giving in, he can always have his cake and eat it too.\n\n"If you love something, let it go.\nIf it comes back to you, it is yours forever.\nIf it doesn't, it was never yours to begin with . . ."\n\nJust something to think about . . .
400891
Well, if he already cheated on you once, there is a possible that he could be doing it once again. But you never know, sometimes that is not the case. Well, also, it's ok for you to have lost the trust that you had in him because of what he did. I think that you can either wait and see if more things are weird or you can talk to him and tell him how you feel. Communication and honesty is the best thing in a relationship and maybe that will work. About being concerned, I think you should be if he is trying to go on with that plot. (Which I really doubt). I think that you need to keep calm unless you see more wrong things but still be cautious.
265175
I can understand how you feel ....You will always love him but  he did you wrong....because if he really loved you then he would have never cheated on you in the first place...He says that he loves you because he probably realized what he lost.....never the less he cheated on you...and i am pretty sure you trusted him with your whole heart and he broke it by being with another woman.....that is his fault not yours...You  just need to be honest with him and tell him its over, and that if he ever really did love you , that he needs to leave you alone cuz you need time to heal....So in the meantime just be strong and do something that makes you happy and not think about him.....even though i know its hard to do....
260309
Pretty much it is a bad decision, if not cheating, but he showed you a desire to get past that by confessing. You should decide if you can forgive or if you get more pleasure out of holding this against him. If you like the upper hand, go ahead and beat him up for it for years to come. All he will regret is that he confessed this indiscreation to you. I'd let it go if I were you. Far worse things could happen to you than this.
42513
Okay, I know this is a bit much to read, but...I had a guy that cheated on me 5 times.  No, I didn't know about it until AFTER we broke up.  I didn't know what to do.  I ALMOST(really, REALLY considered) having sex with his sister's ex...which that was an on-again-off-again thing...but I didn't.  Then I thought about being friends with him again...that didn't work out 'cause he messed with my little brother and I thought about kicking some major butt but, again...didn't.  The reason why is really insane:  I still loved him at that point.  Don't ask me why because I don't know now.  Maybe I thought he'd come back crying(but he was the one that dumped me).  Karma hit him where it hurt quicker than I thought.\nApparently, one of the girls he cheated on me with got pregnant by him and wouldn't you know it...nine months later he was landed with the responsibility of fatherhood.  A few months after that, another girl got pregnant.  HA!  This was too good.  Anyways, after getting over the breakup(in a record time of a few weeks), I found this current guy that I've been with for 9 months and a few weeks.  KARMA ROCKS!  So, if you took Karma into your hands, that's great...even the threefold law works since he cheated once and you hit him 3 times as hard.  Buuuut....I think that if you went that far you might just be a little on the evil side(but who am I to judge, babe?).  Maybe you should post a pic of your cheater on the site I have listed...after all, there's too much girl power I can't resist.
224967
if he cheated while unhappy and attempted to cheat while happy, this guy seems like a serial cheater. some guys are like that. no matter how happy they are in their relationship, they just need attention form other women. you deserve better than this guy.
299251
I have been almost in the same predicument as you, but my husband cheated on me first after 18 years of marriage. We have two children and not only did this effect me, it also had a great impact on the children as well. I did kick him out of the house and after a couple of weeks he realized that he wanted me back and to have life back to normal. Well that does not happen over night. The trust was gone, I was insecure with my self and felt that things could never be the same again. We remained living in the same house, seperate rooms, and trying to mend what happened, then he got into a bad accident as well. The accident was so bad that after leaving the hospital after 6 weeks, I had to nurture and nurse him everyday for the next year. After a complete year of this I cheated on him. I believe that I did this to fullfill the hurt,anxiety,and the insecurity I had about my self. He found out the same way by tapping the phone of reason's of suspition and confronted me. I did tell him the truth about everything. At that time I also said to him "How does it feel to have it happen to you, now we are even". Well set aside Love does hurt, and we all can be cruel either mentally or physically. We react weird to these typs of circumstances. But happy to say it has now been 7 years after this has all happened, and our love never died, it took a great deal of time for the trust factor to regain itself. I'm not saying that the trust will fully every be regained, but as your relationship heals and your thoughts and feeling are open and honest with each other this is a start. Marriage to me now is more important than I ever realized, I want to grow old together. Everyone is differant but place value on your love and family, and take baby steps. If all else fells and things can't be reconciled then be good friends for your children and yourselves. Good Luck. Good things take time.
93730
sweetheart, it hurts alot. i've been there. you are right in not being able to trust him. it's not always the case that there always a cheater, but it's almost foolproof. if he's done it before, why won't he do it again when he finds someone else that's more attractive to him? all you can do is wait out the pain. it hurts and it sucks, but try and move on. go out, have fun, meet new guys. you don't have to get married or anything, just go out and have fun. i hope this helps you sweetie, at least a little. if you'd like to talk to someone that's been there, you can email me. poetic_disturbulance@yahoo.com
582840
"Kinda cheated"?  LOL.  Anyway, being young teens and in a relationship with "cheating" for 11 months makes me think you should both move on.  Just my 2 cents.
315822
If you strongly believe he won't cheat on you again, then take him back. But, I hate it when girls cheat on me, and both of the girls who have cheated are no longer with me. I broke up with them as soon as I found out. If there is no trust in a relationship, then it won't work out.
541524
Ok.  What do YOU think??  If a friend gave you this same information you just gave me......what would you tell her to do??\n\nYou know that he has cheated on you TWO TIMES......\ndo you REALLY think that he is worth getting hurt for a THIRD time??  \n\nHoney, I hope you're smarter than that.  I know it sucks and you hurt, but you have already invested THREE years of your life\nwith this guy.  Cut your losses and move on.  A guy who really loves you is not going to want to be with another woman.
543981
i guess that depends. did he intentionally break your heart? or did your heart got broken because of a situation he had no control over? if he did on purpose (say, he cheated on you), and if he did it twice, it doesn't matter how sorry he is, he's gonna do it again. and you'll be circling the same path over and over again, so then start changing course and don't look back again.
99577
forget it all together - you don't need the headaches. If he cheated and she cheated most likely they will cheat again. Unless you want to live a soap opera - move on to a different crowd of people.
590722
honey, people don't change. once a cheater always a cheater, yourself included.  apparently there were problems with the relationship or you two wouldn't have been messing around on each other.  i know its probably not what you want to here, but you need to move on.
598649
Yes, I have been cheated on.  But if you ever met my man you would have never guessed that he would ever have done that.  We are still together, he realized what he did was wrong and promised that he would never do that again or I was gone with no second thought. It really hurt me that he would do somthing like that to me, I didn't even find out until a year after it happened. There were some signs though, he became very jealous when I was with any guy or had them in my cell phone and he didn't know them.  There also pictures of the two of them together, he said at first she was just a friend.  Even when I talked to his friends they were shocked.  There is no way to prevent cheating if a guy is going to do it he will.  He told me the reason why he cheated on me was because he said that he wanted to be with me so bad and thought it was me, he was gone for a week. Right before he left I spent a week with him at his lake house and he was telling me that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me.  Well it has been 3 years now since he cheated on me and I love him with all my heart, and he feels the same way. He knows now that even if I hear a rumour that he was with another girl it's over and he is scared of loosing me.  That was why I stayed with him when I told him that it was over and I never wanted to see him again, it took him 10 minutes for him to leave and he left with tears. then 3 hours later his roomate called me nervous becasue he hadn't seen him and it was 2 am in the middle of the week. I ended up calling him and had been sitting out my window crying  thinking what is he going to do because he really felt that his life was over becasue of a dumb mistake, thats when I knew that he  would be faithful.  I knew that he really loved me.  I hope this helped!
231163
Sounds like a case of him feeling guilty for what he was doing so he makes up something to blame you for to cover it up.  You should confront him and find out why what he is doing with this girl isn't considered cheating.