I am curious about deployment and my future husband being on a submarine. I am more that willing to go anywhere he goes but I'm curious as to why most wives stay behind? I mean no disrespect to anyone. I am already taking classes online and work a job online so traveling isn't a problem and even if I wanted to work more I am already a DoD employee now and they could help me where ever I go. Also I wanted to know if there are any wives or husbands who are on the submarines and how that would work as far as seeing them when they are ported.
121157
Deployments are not a place for civilians to be hanging out.. they are doing a very dangerous job.  I am rather confused by what you mean.  during port calls on deployments there is usually not enough time to get there to visit, considering the location will not be disseminated until after they leave.  The only port call you know of semi aheadof time prior to them coming home is when they pull in somewhere to pick up Tigers.. and spouses are not allowed on Tiger cruises in any event..  heck, I am not even sure subs HAVE Tiger cruises.  \n\nIf anything, many spouses wimp out and run home to Mommy and Daddy when deployments happen.
1987
Im active duty Navy right now.  This is what I have noticed:\nArmy- Low recruitment= high bonuses  but they have the lowest standards of living\n\nMarines- You really have to want to be a marine... they don't mess around.  Hard to get into technical programs. A lot of PT.  Harder than some branches to get promoted.\n \nNavy- A huge variety of careers.  Transition from civilian to soldier not to difficult.  At sea a lot during your first tour. Some very long days underway.\n\nCoast Guard- Cake. I was talkin to a gas turbine mechanic in the coast guard today.  He just came back from a 30 day tour which included: Key West, Fl\nCozumel, mexico some columdian island....and a couple more very cool places.  This guy is getting out in jan.  looking to make $100 per hour in miami.\n\nAir Force- My best friend has been in there for five years.  They have the best standard of living and the easiest working hours.\n\nI ranked them from worst to best in my opinion.  Hope this helps- I know it would have if I read it before I joined.  Any other questions just email me, I know someone in active duty from each branch.
547981
I was also a young Marine Corp wife (still married, but now he has moved on to law enforcement).  As I know money is tight in the military and you are so far away from your friends and family it is hard to find something to do and find any time together.  The best thing you can do is to get to know your neightbors.  One of them might have or know someone that has a daughter/son that babysits.  We were lucky enough to find that!!  If that's not an option right now......try some little day trips as a family which is always good for the military man to spend time with his family as a whole.  There is always something to do without spending a lot of money.  Pack a lunch and go check out everything there is to do around the base and then spawn out to the towns around.  And car time is always a good time to talk and reconnect!!  Good luck.....it's not easy.....but it can be done!!
21822
First off all my husband we in the military and got out in 1997, USAF. There are support groups for you already. Family Services on base has programs for wives. They should have play groups for children also. I think it would be easier for you to use the base since it is already done for you and then you can meet other wives and suggest going to lunch, babysite for each other, go to the laundry together, give each other rides to appointments. \n\nIt is a wonderful program.
550466
Having been in for 20 years and deployed many times, I can honsetly say that it has to be harder to be left !!  While I was deployed I usualy was kept occupied on the mission at hand, worrying about my soldiers etc...    My wife on the other hand though  had to keep our Household running,  all the bills had to be paid, the kids school and after school activities needed to be met (Taken to and from, all the practices, all the games) etc...  Our household still had to run and she was the one who did it and she had to do it alone most of the times.  Yes the FRG was there to assist and the friends were there to assist also but it was all on her shoulders to keep our household up and running.   I have always said that the role of the Military Spouse has never been properly addressed.  A Good Military Spouse is a rare gem and one that needs to be kept and appreciated (Something that Military Members need to keep in mind).  I thank God for my wife who dealt with the military during our service and all of the deployments.  \n\nThe Military Spouse   \n\nWhen the good Lord was creating military spouses, He was into His sixth day of overtime. \nAn Angel appeared and said, "You're having a lot of trouble on this one. What's wrong with the standard model?" \nThe Lord replied, "Have you ever seen the regulations? It has to be completely independent, must be sponsored to get on base, have the qualities of both mother and father during deployments; Be a perfect hostess to four or 40, handle emergencies without military orders, cope with the flu and move around the world, have a kiss that cures anything from a child's torn valentine to a soldier's weary day, have the patience of a saint when waiting for the unit to return stateside, and have six pairs of soft hands."\nThe Angel shook her head slowly and said, "Six pair of hands? No way!" \nAnd the Lord answered, "Don't worry. We'll make other military spouses to help. Besides, it's not the hands that are causing the problem - it's the heart. It must swell with pride, sustain the ache of separation, beat soundly when it's too tired to do so, be large enough to say 'I understand' when it doesn't, and say 'I love you,' regardless." \n"Lord," said the Angel, touching his sleeve gently, "go to bed. You can finish that tomorrow." \n"I can't," said the Lord. "I'm too close to creating something unique. Already I have one who can heal itself when sick, feed unexpected guests who are stuck in the area due to bad weather, and wave goodbye to its spouse from a pier or runway and understand it's important to the country that the spouse leave." \nThe Angel circled the model of the military spouse very slowly. "It's too soft," she sighed. \n"But tough," the Lord said excitedly. "You cannot imagine what this being can do or endure!" \n"Can it think?" the Angel asked. \n"Can it think? It can convert 1400 to 2 p.m.!" the Lord said. \nFinally, the Angel bent over and ran her finger across the cheek. "There's a leak," she pronounced. "I told you that you were trying to put too much into this model." \n"It's not a leak," said the Lord. "It's a tear." \n"What's it for?" asked the Angel. \n"It's for joy, sadness, pain, loneliness and pride," the Lord said. \n"You're a genius," said the Angel. \nThe Lord looked somber and said, "I didn't put it there." \n~Author Unknown
581347
i have a friend who's husband is security forces, he deploys alot but then again he is an officer, not sure if that makes a difference.  if i  were you though i'd count on being deployed with that job.
636842
My hubby was deployed for a year and I know how hard it is.  What got me through it was getting a full time job that allowed me to take his phone calls during work hours, and sending alot of email and packages.  Just keep in mind that he will come home safely and make sure you have a good support group at home for you.  If you stay strong and supportive it will help him more than you will ever know.  Even though you aren't married you can also call the FRG (Family Readiness Group) that will be set up.  Also if at all possible try and go to see him off.  It'll be good for you to meet some of the women in the FRG and you might get to know a few you really connect with.  If you want to talk or have any questions feel free to email me and I will try to help.\nAlso, from being a military spouse for 4 years, don't worry about the deployment thing until he actually has the orders.  In the military, alot of rumors are spread around (my husband was originally suppose to go a year before he was actually deployed) so don't worry until he has the orders.  Hope this helps.
318302
Wow..You've got a long hard road ahead of you hun, yes, you do go where he will be stationed but, you don't deploy with him. I have no idea what state you live in but, you need to contact base houseing and ask them to put you in touch with a K.V ( Key volunteer) these are Army wife's, they can answer any question you have and be there for you when your husbands gone. Feel free to Email me if you have any other questions or just to chat. lvn3814@yahoo.com\n\nBy the way, I'm also a Military wife\n\nStay Strong
79789
My wife is deployed. It' a little different for a husband most of the support groups in my area say they are for wifes. It's lonely not to maention we have 2 small girls so It's also scary knowing that I am all they have for now. I just write or E-mail daily and count the weeks till Oct. when she gets home.
265017
My response will be a little different form everyone elses.  As a current member of the Navy, I have to say that it is very difficult and strenuous on the family life.  I have a daughter, and I have to tell you, as much as I stay involved in her life, I have a hard time leaving her everytime Im with her.  Would it be beneficial for you to join.  Well in some aspects it is.  In a lot of aspects its not.  Let me elaborate.  The medical and dental benefits are great, the money is good in reguards to a steady income, but of course the pay could be more.  You can start a college fund for her through USAA.  But on the flip side of that, the military, especially the Navy is down sizing.  Which means for most service members, more frequent deployments with all the drama going on in the world.  Im  currently deployed to Kuwiat in support of Operation Iraqi Freedom.  Although Im not in the direct line of fire, the risk is always there.  We took some mortar rounds when I first got here, but every since, things have been a little less stressful.  The Navy as whole, image is changing.  Actually that speaks for most services.  The branches are not seperated like they use to be.  All the forces are working as one joint force.  More and more Sailors are sent in to war zones in support of Army, Marines, and Airforce.  I joined the Navy to see the world, get money for college, go to college, gain technical, and real life expierence.  So far I have done just that.  But I also joined the Navy so I wouldn't be on the front line.  I figured I could accomplish this by joining the Navy, being on a ship, a good distance away from direct enemy fire, while still making a major contribution to the efforts.  There are a lot of things they you need to way your decision.  These people are right, your child should always come first.  I put my baby first in everything I do.  She is what keeps me going out here.  But again, being away from her is very hard.  I do everything in my power to be involved in her life, but I always feel like Im coming up short.  Her mother is very supportive of me, and her being prior military, she understands the difficulties of the military life.  If you have a supportive family that you trust will do the right thing by you and for your daughter, I would say look further into it.  I am available for more questions if you like.  I think you are a beautiful women and you will be successful in whatever you put your mind to.  Just make sure you do your homework before making a major decision like that one.  If you like, you can contact me at jayc_lark@yahoo.com...I hope to hear from you.
466719
I'm sorry, but he's not.  My hubby is on cycle break, thank goodness.  However, I'm checking on this for you as we speak and I'll do an edit when I have your answer.\n\nEDIT:  I'm so happy to help in any way that I can.  Military life comes full circle for many of us.  We were the "young'uns", now, we're the "old folks".  Never be afraid to ask questions.  Military life is a life like none other and we ALL need support.\n\nI really am glad you asked a question and specifically pointed me out.  However, my info is pretty limited as of right now.  Ft. Sill is closed due to our weather conditions.  Hubby won't be able to check much until he goes back in.  Anyways, this is what we have:  19 January should stand as graduation date.  That would be 9 weeks BCT and 2 weeks exodus.  We do fill up fast here and I'm glad you worked it all out ahead of time.  Hubby is going to try to check on exact dates of exodus.  Is your son coming home??  What a great present I'm sure that would be for you.  I'm glad his letters are upbeat.  That's a good sign.  Most of the Drill's here are cool.  We love all of them in our unit.  They really want these guys to succeed.  The phone number to the unit I think your son is in is (580) 442-1304.  I'm sure you already have his number, but this is what I deducted from the info you've given.  Your best bet is to call them....they do need to answer your questions.  I know they don't like to be bothered by family members, but you have a lagit question and they can answer it.  Since hubby is in a different unit, it's hard to get exact info other than knowing everything is on schedule for what's posted and that's the same he has.\n\nGood luck and I'm sorry I couldn't be more helpful.  If I do find anything else out, I'll be sure to post it on here.  Be sure to yell "HI" to me while you're in town!!  I can't even begin to tell you what an awesome experience graduation will be.  Enjoy!!\n\nEDIT2:  I wrote your e-mail addy down.  How did you find me??  I haven't answered any other questions of yours and you seem to know me so well.  Anyways, glad I can help and if I find anything else, you'll know about it.
111942
Why can't you put your dreams on hold, no one says you have to stay in the navy forever, you can always get a skill you can use in the civilian world.  My cousin was in the air force for 12 years and is now working for the air force as a civilian, he makes better money, and is not obligated to go to war.  My husband was also in the Marine Corp for 4 years, and the National Guard for 3 years, and now is self-employed.  There are always options.  My husband put a lot of his dreams on hold to provide for his family, and he has never resented it.  Even if you wait to get out in 20 years, you will be about 40 years old, which still isn't too late to start a new life if you want to in fulfilling your dreams.  Ultimately the decision is yours, you have to decide if you really love her enough to work a little harder to make yours, and her life work together.
205534
Ain't no tellin'.\n\nYou have sold your soul when you fly slicks.\n\nLotsa deployment.  Lotsa travel (mostly bad places).\n\nBe sensative and understanding towards your wife.  She gets to go along for the ride with no real status.  It's difficult for spouses and the survival rate for marriages isn't good.\n\nGood luck.
381694
Sounds like at least one of you is afraid of being left. Or maybe you don't want to hurt each other by making a commitment and then leaving, so you just refrain from making a commitment... and you practice leaving.  Girl, you should only practice what you want to be good at !\n\nIn many parts of the world marriages are arranged. In other words, the sex is the first part of the relationship, and over time the couple can learn to know & love each other. \n\nI left my family & moved from New England to Minnesota, where my husband's family all live. It was a couple years of culture shock, but we're still together after almost 23 years of marriage.\n\nDo you trust him? Are you willing to trust ANYone?  If he changes, will you stay with him? (like, loss of health, financial worries causing depression, etc)... in my experience, Air Force fellows are top quality. Yes, the military changes a person -- military people  have been forcibly changed, so they can do their jobs & survive; that's not a bad thing, it's just a factor to consider.\nMotherhood changes a person, too.  Not all changes are permanent, but they're not all predictable either. That's where the trust comes in. Trust isn't a feeling; it's a decision.\n\nHe might have a need to be "at home" (in his case, it's Ohio); home is, by definition, where we feel safe.  Can you make your home somewhere other than Washington? I did. I used to live in rural Tacoma. I know how beautiful it is there. But family circumstances required I move, and I learned to appreciate New England. It took me 2 years, but I did it.\n\nMy recommendation? Meet his family.  (Wonderful guys usually come from nice families, so I bet they're nice). And marry him.
226033
I heard once that the toughest job in the military is military spouse.  I agree.  They aren't on the payroll, but the military spouses go through a great deal while their loved ones are in combat.
432446
I was a female in the navy for 4 yrs. I learn a lot and had great fun doing it. The freinds you make in there last forever and it is a different kinda friends too. More special I would say. I got out in 96 and still talk to a few of my closer friends. As far as jobs no it didnt help me in a way, the job I had was an operational specialist. radar, navagation, and that kinda stuff near the bridge of the ship ( top ) If I had it to do over again I would make sure that the job I got was one that would trasfer to a civilian job. Which mine didnt. But having been in the Navy looks great on resumes.I will never regret my choice to join. What an andverture. traveling was the best. Singapore, Guam, Hawii,Hong Kong, Germany, Persian Gulf, Dubai let alone the states. I would strongly recommend if to a female for sure, specially if you have no outlook for college or anything like that. Cause I didnt even want to think of college.. So I hope you choose what is good for you and have fun doing whatever it is that the future stores. Best of luck to you
457510
I think that there are support systems for families in all the branches.  Alot of the support you receive depends not only on the branch but your unit.  My husband is AF and his unit is hugely supportive to our family.  The unit checks in on us when my husband is deployed.  There are support groups and free child child care when he is gone.  \n    I think that the other spouse that replied in an absolute retard.  It's not the Chair Force, it's the AIR FORCE.  Her husband must have one of the few desk jobs that remain.  Mine is on the flightline 12 hours a day 6 days a week.  He only sees a chair at dinner time.  Many Many married couples with and without children CHOOSE to live on base becuase of the friendship and support.  There is nothing better than having neighbors that know exactly what you are going through because they've been through it too!  People keep saying deployments are 4-6 months only.  This is also a crock.  My husband been gone for 9 months, 12 months at a time.  He has done shorter deployments as well.Sounds like the AF is better off without her or her husband.\n\nJust remember EVERY branch has some sort of family support.  It depends on your unit, your base, your nieghbors, your family.