My husband divorced 20 years ago from his ex wife and she  always calls here at home telling my husband that she is concerned about their son's health condition. But their son (32 yrs old-incapacitated) had his own apartment not living with us nor with her. What I'm only wandering why is she calling my husband if she is concerned why not she see by her self and go to their son's house and feed her son since she is the mother. What I only noticed is that whenever me and my husband had special occasion (anniversary) she is always interfere and trying to ruined our relationship.  She is the one who divorced my husband 20 years ago and I'm only married with him only 2 years. She is also married to another man. I felt that she tries to ruined our relationship so that my husband can take care of their children like what had happened to the second wife of my husband they divorced because my husband had no time with her second wife.  I'm the third wife now. And now the first wife do again.
137594
Sounds as if he needs to get a back bone and tell her to stop calling. Unless he likes the drama she brings into his marriages...Dolly
17591
Wait one second please YOUR HUSBAND IS PERFECT? Then why is he not taking care of HIS son and protecting the woman he loves? Talk to this perfect husband and tell him what the doctor said. It is time your husband takes some control over his son, you don't say how old the son is so I can't say much more. Talk to your husband and get his help with his son.
253637
Having been on both sides of the "ex" fence, I can say with assurance that some females simply cannot grasp that the man they are with can be with someone after her, and some females simply cannot grasp that the man they are with was with someone before her. (Men do it too, it isn't a gender issue, it is a maturity issue.)I was married to a man who currently has a show on A&E! I have to listen to his "woman" tell lies and take credit for my children, and guess what....I hate it. On the other side, I have an ex-boyfriend whose current whateversheis  feels duty-bound to berate me for my conduct in situations that she was not privy to. All I can say for sure is that ultimately, YOU are responsible for YOUR conduct, and while losing your patience is understandable, it is probably better to always take the high road. Additionally, as an often attacked, but never bested ex, I can say without exception that a soft answer always turns away wrath, and ignoring small children(or adults acting like two-year olds) tends to put a stop to immature behavior. (On the practical side, a good log to document another's constant bad behavior goes a long way in court and should always be used.)
97864
This would probably be a problem for my hubby if we ever divorced because he is not only my husband he is my BEST friend.  We would have even more trouble trying to stop being best friends!  They do share a past together but it is very disrespectful that he does this to you.  Their conversation should be on the children NOT on what each other had for breakfast!  watch this closely because there r obviously feelings still left on both sides.  He will always hold a place for her in his heart-she is the mother of his children but I m with u- they r taking it way too far
101851
A mother is very connected to their children and they spend a lot of their life protecting and nurturing them.  That creates a bond that is very deep and established over a very long amount of time.  It is hard for a mom to let go because that bond has become such a large part of who she is.  Mom's come to rely on that bond to always be there for them and as a part of their lives.  When a son gets married, that bond is broken and the moms life and relationship with her some are forever altered.  Sure she wants him to grow up and be happy, but she doesn't want to be disconnected and shut out of her sons life.  Some times though that is what happens, but most of the time eventually the mother and son establish a new bond and share that bond with the daughter in law.
467212
I'm a grown azz woman. I myself have two kids and a ex husband. He first would have to deal with that! I would deal with his situation as well. Kids come first or should in any type of relationship! \n\nMy ex BF had a child and our kids got along great. I use to talk to his "baby's momma" on the phone all the time to plan play dates and etc...What these girls now days need to understand is that you are with this man now. She was his past, she will always be a part of his past and future with the two of them caring for their child. If these girls cant handle what the ex looks like or how many times she calls you etc...then dump there azz. You nor your child deserves to be treated in any such way. Find yourself a woman that loves you and respects you and TRUSTS you no matter what! \n\nIve got mine finally and he is the best thing ever!!! My kids adore him and so does my ex husband!
472986
Hi Pink, \n\nI think I missed your origional question, but will answer it anyway and come at different angles when I don't know the full story -hope this is useful?\n\nAnyway, what is important is that your ex-partner wants to have contact with his son and that his child wants to see his dad.  If he didn't want to see his son, then there is little you can do to make him and this would be very sad indeed but your own love itself would be enough to provide your son with as much love and happiness that he deserves.  \n\nI am assumming that he does see his dad and spends a lot of time with him, then this is wonderful even though you and your ex will never be anything more than just on good terms for the sake of your son.  Why should you want to cut your ex out of your life when he is the father of your child? - you will just remain in contact purely for the sake of your child and this is good enough for this reason alone.  \n\nNo one says that you should have to be together or love each other just because you did once a long time ago.  People's lives change and so do their expectations and feelings and so if you have moved on, then so should he, but to remain in close contact with his son if he cares anything for him.  His love for his son should be unconditional anyway and shouldn't depend upon whether he loves him because of how you feel about your ex.  If this is the case, then he loves his son for the wrong reasons and truly doesn't care about him because he is wanting you to love him before he can love his son - lots of men will see their children even if their marriage has broken down and because they love their children unconditionally.\n\nIf he doesn't want to see his child because you no longer love him, then the better off your son will be without his father who doesn't love him anyway.  This is a very sad situation, but if your boy is just three, then he will cope a lot better without a father if he is not going to committ to seeing his son on a regular basis and because he loves him regardless of where you stand with your ex.  A child can have just as much love from his mother to compensate and others in the family too, so he won't miss what he isn't getting from his father.\n\nYou can not be held responsible for what your ex decides to do or not do - he is adult enough to bring a child into this world and adult enough to want to be a part of his life whether he is with you or not.  It will be his loss if he does not want to be a part of his own son's life and he cannot force you to love him when you no longer feel that way about him, he has to accept that this is the way it is and you are not going to love anyone who will love their own child on the condition that you are going to love your ex!\n\nYou can still be fond of your ex because he and you shared a life togther once and of course, people don't forget that but just means that the love isn't a romantic one like it used to be but more friends. \n\nor:\n\nIf you are with someone new and he doesn't accept that your ex is a part of your life, then sounds like he hasn't got the child's best interests at heart and is jealous of the fact that your son has another father - in this case, he will be an insecure type of man you are with and doesn't trust in you enough to know that you no longer love your ex and wants to sabotage your son's relationship with his father.  This would be an unhealthy relationship to be in and so I would not allow his jealousy to dictate what is in the best interests of your child and your ex has every right to see his son.\n\nThe same goes for other family - their priority is for the child's welfare and not their own interests. \n\nYou do what is right for you and your child.
264931
Your Mother-in-Law sounds pretty tactless,surely her own common sense should have told her that this was NOT a very clever thing to do.As for saying her own son could come 'later',well that's totally out of order,her son should come first.I wholeheartedly agree with you in that the ex could have had her own celebration meal with her son and declined the invitation.If my Mother put me in that position I would be far from happy and tell her so.I would NOT attend the meal,explain it to the son and arrange to take him out for a celebratory meal.\nThe Mother-in-Law needs kicking into touch,is she close to her ex-daughter-in-law?Does she have a problem with you?Whatever this womans logic,which seems to be non existent,your husband need to address the problem and explain,in no uncertain terms that,you and he are a couple now and if she cant respect yours and his feelings then to maybe distance yourselves until she comes to her senses.
591952
You said this just started and for no apparent reason. Maybe it is just that you have no clue to the reasoning behind it. I am not saying he is justified in treating you like crap or doing things in front of the children that he shouldn't but there has to be a reason for it. Have you tried asking him what is going on. Maybe something has happened and for what ever reason he can't or doesn't know how to share this with you so in turn his actions is a result of what ever is really bothering him. You have made it clear you won't put up with this so stress this to him again that if he can't share with you what is going on you can't try to help him with it but that he isn't going to take it out on you either. He needs to make the choice as to what to do and then you can choose what to do based on how he feels. I really feel for you hun as something happened to my ex husband and he thought he would become physical with me until I told him he would die before he hit me again and of course the final results was I left. I couldn't fix something that I had no clue as to what was going on and I was not going to be hit on or abused in any other way either. I hope he comes around before you leave him but do what is best for you and the children hun!!.
447961
If they have no children together then there is no reason for a "friendship" if it bothers you your feelings should mean more to hI'm. I have to deal with an ex because even though im my husband first wife he had children with a woman previous to our marriage they are friends i think its strange but its good for the kids however when we got together they stoped hanging out unless it was at a school function. I have made it very clear to her I come first
90754
I am a mother and wife, and an ex-wife. I "left" my children's' biological father because he was abusive and a closet drug abuser. The "value" of my family was and still is everything to me. Just because I put my children's' lives and best interests in front of my own personal feelings doesn't mean that family has no value to me.....it means that I did what I had to do to make a better life for my family. And my ex. had every opportunity to see his children but thought and still thinks that there are things in life more important....how sad for him. Maybe you should look into your legal options in your state as far as visitation with your child goes....and I wish you well with that because every child deserves to have two parents that love and care for them. As far as the "women" that left you because of petty little things....well maybe you should re-evaluate your decisions on whom you date.
476134
Your poor mum...5 years is a long time. I hope she gets rid of him as its a real cheek if he says he can't stop seeing the other woman !!!
46714
He may need a lawyer to file the request for visitation. That would have been taken care of in divorce court. He has rights and the court needs to know the situation to guarantee his rights are ordered and enforcable. If the mother is unfit and the father cares about his children, it would be morally wrong for him not to remedy the situation.
234357
We had a friend who divorced his wife because she would hit him as hard as she could. He was a big guy and never hit her back. she had issues from her first marriage with a husband who beat her, and a father who hit her mother. my friend was very gentle, but enough was enough. He never reported it, he just divorced her and let her keep the house. \nWe had another friend who had back surgery and his ex-wife would hit him where the surgery had been done whenever he wouldn't do what she wanted him to do. She was just nasty. He divorced her, but did not report it. \nBoth men remarried women who did not hit them.
400211
sound like the twin of my ex mother in law. I am assuming her hubby isn't around to torture anymore. Hubby feels like she is protecting his interest. He needs to be reminded of who his interests really are. Ultimatum time. Don't let this unhappy person get you down to her level, where she will be more comfortable with you. Move away. Find her a Hobie, like "find your way home"
279576
I guess mothers (over their sons) are really nosy...and in terms of the opposite...protective behavior aside...maybe she's looking into how to make herself feel young again? Not too sure...but either way...my gut tells me you should confront the issue and find out what she's really getting out of it...
124118
Sounds like to me you need to tell that busy body mother in law to unleash your husband from her apron strings,she sounds like she is your problem,of course your husband cant see this its his mom.Some men are always momas boy ,until they see it for them selves that dear old mom is breaking his home up .don't let her insult you ,let him get mad he has a life time to get glad.you are his wife and the mother of his children I'm sure you cook for clean house and wash his clothes so where is the respect you so much deserve.if mom is all that and then some maybe she should do all this for him.she sounds like a mean 2 face devious spiteful woman who is out to ruin your marriage.stand up to her don't let her ignorance ruin your home put her in her place and tell her to stay there.if your husband doesn't have the guts to tell her then its up to you.....