i dont have mom n he used to hit me if anything goes wrong in family n now i am grown up n i want to leav him i have sis n bf. pls advice
131209
well, if you are 18+ you have the full right to leave him..and he cant stop you. All you have to do i one day go out look for an apartment or somthing than say to him "dad, i am an adult now, and i have the right to move out..so i moving" say it in a nice way, and if he says no u cant   he cant stop you?  if ur 18+ its officially your life! good luck\nHope I Helped
187267
doing that to yourself is  not the answer. do you want your family to go through what your bf's family just did. i also lost someone close to me recently (younger brother) and know what it feels like to lose someone that you love very much. hurting yourself will not bring them back, but try and remember all the good things and times that you had with them and cherish them. Dont you think that he would be upset with you if you done something like that to harm yourself. even though he is not here with you he is still in your heart and sometimes that is closer than if he were still here. no one can take away his memory of him from you. Hold your head up and make him proud that he had the best girl by his side while he was here.
303719
i can imagine a bro bein' over possessive.. evn ma bro got wen he figured out stuff `bout ma guy.. but i`m elder.. mayb dat makes sense in here.. i`m 20 n so`s ma bf.. me n ma bro ol wayz `ve r communicatns open.. he`s nw ok wit it eva since i spoke 2 him.. `bout wat probs he has wit ma boy frend.. but he understands me.. n he says he trusts me..                                                         \n\n ...but i understand.. s i 2 hate his gf.. n can do nuttin `bout it but juz b der by his side n teach him frm tym 2 tym.. \n\n so i suggest juz talk 2 ur sis.. or try gettin 2 da guy l8r.. in order 2 kno him.. but 1 can`t kno ne1 so soon so try spyin on him instead of ur sis.. ma bro n ma boy frend do talk s well.. n meet @ tyms.. \n\n but if da guy z 2 old 4 her ..she needs 2 rethink `bout this relatnship if it`s a serious 1.. bware 2.. s she cud b innocent n da guy cud `ve trapped her.. \n\n els in love.. age no bar.. juz let her b if she`s old nuf 2 understand n handle situatns..\n \n but dun bring parents in betn ryt now.. try ur ways out 1st.. juz b careful she doesn`t lose trust in u cuz of it.. cuz i feel a brother sister relatnship is closer den wit parents..if dey dun work den better seek parental advice..\n\n  dese things r very risky cuz u r emotionally involved n u love `em so much dat u can`t take nethin bad 4 `em.. so take action quick..
658578
i know how you feel. i have some problems with my family also... i was fourteen when my parents sent me out from china to belize. my mom had my little brother when i was ten, and i couldn't accept the fact right away, and she usually scold me for everything. \nat the point of time, since they are coming and visit you, you should just act normal, and once you have a chance you call up your sister to a place where you guys can speak alone, and you need to tell her how much you are sorry about the past, and your feeling towards your whole family, and that no one can change what had happened, not even god. you need to tell her that you love her and that you are sisters, no matter what you will always be her sister and that no one can change it. people live people dies, and that you are sorry that your dad died, but nobody would want that to happened. you were just simply in love with someone that the family didn't wanted to accept and tell her that life is short, if she will continuing mad at you, then you couldn't do nothing more better to let her forgive you. Just remember don't yell at her or cry...\n\nwell, good luck, is just a suggestion that i am giving...\n\ngood luck again.
287153
Just let it be. If you have a good relationship with him, maybe he will come to you about it.  My big brother confronted me and actually outed me in a public location.  Needless to say, I have less respect for him for handling it that way.
630329
Be yourself, be honest.  Tell him how u really feel cuz if u dont u may regret it.  dont let this be one of those times where u ask urself what if..... if its the family- be an adult, be the bigger person and talk about the situation. if u luv him that much and hes worth it, suck up ur pride and apologise to his sis.  could be a reason why theres tension stewing
597774
Well, the cynical answer is, if your brother gets into the military, you won't have to be his parent.  But I don't think that's a good enough answer for your needs.  \n\nI don't know if I can give you good advice without knowing how old your brothers are, and what the other issues are that are involved.  The one that seems to need a parent--do you think this is because he's at an age where he ought to be taken care of, or is it because he's dealing with the loss of his mother, or is it because of something else?  \n\nThere's a lot of stuff I would need to know before I could try to give you good specific advice, and even then I'm not sure how good my advice would be.  But in general terms, I'd advise you two things:\n\nFirst, figure out how much you want to give, and figure out how much you _can_ give, and then find a middle ground somewhere between the two.  You're going to end up giving more of yourself than you want to, but that doesn't mean you have to give everything away.  Talk to your brother openly, and honestly, about how you're feeling, including that you're in the same boat with some of these issues, and on other ones you probably don't know where he's coming from.  Work with him to set reasonable boundaries that you both can agree to and follow, and give him a little extra support when it comes to learning to stand on his own two feet, so that in the future he won't have to lean on you so often.\n\nThe second piece of advice is, don't try to go it alone.  There are probably other people you know who are willing to lend a hand.  Figure out who can help how, and let them. \n\nFinally, remind yourself that a difficult adjustment doesn't necessarily have to lead into a permanently difficult situation.  Your brother is going through a difficult period, and so are you.  If you handle things well now, they probably will get better over time.
296179
ARE YOU AN ADULT... JUST BE UPFRONT WITH YOUR MOTHER, TELL HER ABOUT YOUR BOYFRIEND THEN TELL HER THAT YOU WOULD LIKE HER TO MEET HIM THAT HE IS A GOOD GUY.  HIDE HIM AND IT'S GOING TO MAKE IT LOOK AS IF YOU ARE ASHAMED OF HIM
248438
i think that you should maybe try to talk to his mom and explain the reason why that you ended the relationship and explain to her the reason and tell her that you done it for a reason and that you want to try and get along with her explain that she shouldn't hold grudges and all you are asking for is for another chance that's all and if she doesn't under stand The reasons then don't worry about it at least you tried and hopefully things will work out for the best with whatever choice she decides remember that you tried.
273476
i was in your almost same situattion i was 17 (pregnant) he was 31. I lived in Nh i ran away to NYC. He got very possesive than that turned to abuse. Go back to your family, you dont knpw what you are putting them through. Atleast let them knoe that you are ok to let them know you are alive. I did see my mom for year & half & she wasnt mad please let them know you are ok. Do you know what its like to have the FBI contact your family saying they have a teenage girl that matches their daughters description. well thats what happened to my mom & i regret the hell i put her through. If i could only do it over. I now have a daughter & hope she never puts me through what i put my mom through.\nremember family is forever. please go back & if you need anyone to talk to email me.
76939
answer this: could you marry into a family like that? do you want to call the man who raped your sister your brother? I wouldnt. Nor would i want to call a woman who knew about it and didnt care "mom". who says the same thing couldnt happen to you?\nDo yourself a favor and get out. Your bf might be different from them, but he still has them in his life and i know i wouldnt want to deal with that.
359290
talk to your sister first of all, because its your life, your decision. if you don't feel that way about him its best to let him know now so you don't end up dragging him through a more hurtful experience.
269661
You don't ... yet. You may want to think long and hard about why your family hates him. We have a 17 year old daughter, and there have been people that we've told her not to bring to our house again. That doesn't mean she doesn't hang out with them anymore ... we're not stupid ... but they aren't allowed around us because they disrespected us and our home. \n\nIf you know why your family hates him and the issue cannot be resolved, you may want to try and keep this to yourself until you're in a position to move out of the house. A good, smart parent knows deep down that once a child turns 17 they're pretty much going to make their own decisions regardless of what we think or how we feel about it. It's a natural progression.
288410
Honestly, It needs to come from YOUR heart...not ours.  I'm sure if you take the time to really think about it, you will work it out.  My brother used to abuse me horribly...the best apology I ever got was the day he grew up and stopped.  Tell your brother you love him and that you will never do it again. You and your brother should have a beautiful bonding relationship....as I see in my two boys.
628276
I don't know the details but it sounds like you need to sit him\ndown and explain how you see the situation,because now it's\naffecting you. As for his family,don't give in-they have no right to\npush whatever problems they have with him on you.
288128
Tell him you are sorry and that you didn't mean the cruel things that you said, but that you were angry and just wanting to strike back any way you could!  (Even if you meant every word-he will think about what you said so the message got across anyway).\n\nAfter all, one day your parents will be gone and your brothers and sisters - if there are any - will be the family that you have left and I assure you that you will need them, if only as a shoulder to lean or cry on!\n\nFriends are Friends, but Family is Forever!  Don't let those bridges get burned as they are almost impossible to rebuild!\n\nGet him a present to give to him when you apologize--nothing fancy--a key chain, or better yet get him a silver dollar or other coin from a coin store.  Get you one of the same year and tell him you want both of you to always carry them so next time you start to argue one of you can pull it out and show it to the other.  That way you will stop to think of the love you have for each other and how important you are to each other...the argument will go away quickly....It's all a matter of perspective and treating the important things-like each other--with the respect that they deserve.  You'll win his heart back and his respect forever!
69795
Oh, I really feel for you. It's very hard to face this sort of situation.  If you know where he lives, send him a letter telling him exactly what you have told us; that you love him and miss him dreadfully, that you miss his friendship and him being in your life.  You don't say how old you both are, but if he was quite young when this happened it may be that he is regretting his hot-headedness (you might find that out when you establish contact with him, but not initially), and he may later welcome the chance to get back in touch with the family through you.\n\nBut if you want to contact him, you need to make it plain that if he doesn't want contact with his parents, that's regrettable but perhaps understandable, but it isn't his relationship - or lack of it - with them that bothers you, it's the relationship between the pair of you that you want to heal.  However, you will also need to be very careful about your own relationship with your parents.  It could hurt them dreadfully if they find out that you have been in contact with your brother, and hurt people tend to lash out.  It may be that your brother felt very hurt if you seemed to take their 'side' rather than his in whatever happened when all you were trying to do was mediate, or just got caught in the crossfire, and he lashed out at you.\n\nJust spend some time putting your thoughts down on paper, don't condemn him in any way at all, and tell him you will always love and miss him.  I hope it all works out well for you.