Rules Guys Wish Women Knew   \n\n- Crying is blackmail\n- Ask for what you want. Subtle hints don't work.\n- Don't cut you hair, ever.\n- Sometimes, we're not thinking about you. Live with it.\n- Get rid of the cat.\n- Anything we said 6 or 8 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.\n- Anything you wear is fine. Really.\n- Christopher Columbus didn't need directions and neither do we.\n- You have too many shoes.\n- If you thing you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.\n- Learn to work the toilet seat; if it's up put it down.\n- Mark anniversaries on a calendar.\n- Yes, going standing up is more difficult that going from point blank range. We're bound to miss sometimes.\n- Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers.\n- A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.\n- Don't fake it. We'd rather be ineffective than deceived.\n- Sunday equals Sports.\n- If you don't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
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give us girls a break we have it harder than you do here someone else posted this awhile back \n\n\n"Men Are Just Happier People-- \nWhat do you expect from such simple \ncreatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can be President. You can never be pregnant. \nYou can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal. \nYou never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. \nSame work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. \nWedding dress $5000. Tux rental $100. People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. \nThe occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend. \nYour underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck. \nYou can play with toys all your life. Your belly usually hides your big hips. One wallet and one pair of shoes one color for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache. You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes. No wonder men are happier."
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TOP TEN REJECTION LINES GIVEN BY WOMEN (AND WHAT THEY REALLY MEAN)Use the one that is most appropriate.\n10. I think of you as a brother... (You remind me of that inbred banjo-playing geek in "Deliverance.")\n9. There's a slight difference in our ages... (I don't want to do my dad)\n8. I'm not attracted to you in 'that' way... (You are the ugliest dork I've ever laid eyes on.)\n7. My life is too complicated right now... (I don't want you spending the whole night or else you may hear phone calls from all the other guys I'm seeing.)\n6. I've got a boyfriend... (I prefer my male cat and a half gallon of Ben and Jerry's)..\n5. I don't date men where I work... (I wouldn't date you if you were in the same 'solar system', much less the same building.)\n4. It's not you, it's me... (It's you.)\n3. I'm concentrating on my career... (Even something as boring and unfulfilling as my job is better than dating you.)\n2. I'm celibate... (I've sworn off only the men like you.)\nand the number 1 rejection line given by women (and what it really means)\n\n1. Let's be friends... (I want you to stay around so I can tell you in excruciating detail about all the other men I meet and have sex with.)
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Hello Alex,\nHere is what you need to know, to play the dating game,\n1-Get control of your man.\n2-Punish your man.\n3-Pin your man.\n4-Head for home plate by taking his wallet and stuffing it into your brassiere.\nAlex, If you don’t keep your eye on the ball and learn what you are doing, you might as well get a tattoo and nose piercing. You will be a cheap tramp and your kids will grow up to become suicide bombers or worse!\nOk now, dump that current loser of yours, get back into the dating scene and start having some fun!\nSean
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You are a SMART guy for knowing when to pull back and when to act. And even smarter for knowing when to ask for outside guidance.\n\nBut quite frankly you DON'T need our help....you already KNOW the answer...you just need affirmation that what you're doing is the right thing...so here it is;\n\nKEEP doing what you are doing it's obviously working right.\nSo why change....\n\nKeep in mind that where the sexes are involved....it's all about the CHASE...not the capture. \n\nIt's NO fun when guys [or gals] drop at your feet and become your doormats, it's those that hinge on the outskirts of ellusivness that catch our eyes, and manage to take our breath away.\n\nI once did the exact same thing you speak of and I was crushed when the boyfriend, told me he just wanted to be "friends"...out of desperation [which is a sickening trait] I cried my heart out to him and begged him to tell me WHY? \n\nWhat did I do that was so wrong? \nThen I went on to tell him that I "did everything for you, there was NOTHING I denied you so why???" \n\nAnd I have never forgotten his response to this day, and that was OVER 30 YEARS ago...know what he said?\n\nHe said..."THAT'S just IT!"\n \n"You DID everything for me, I said jump and you jumped, I said NO, and you didn't, I said yes, and you did, IF I had said drop down and eat dog s*it you would have....It turned my stomach at how spineless you were. \n\nI stared at him in shock and said \n"That's called LOVE!"...\nand he replied...\n"NO, that's called being a DOORMAT! AN AS*KISSER!\nand NO ONE LIKES TO HAVE THEIR A** KISSED ALL THE TIME!!"\n \nThen he turned and walked out of my life.\n\nIt took me three years to recover from what he said but in the end HE WAS CORRECT....it's TRUE...\n\n"No one likes to have their a** kissed all the time"....and so I LEARNED from my mistake and stopped being a a**-kisser....\n\nIn the process I also went to college and studied humans and learned that humans are PRIMAL and like their four legged counterparts are attracted by the scent of the CHASE, not the actual victory....and so I became that which could NOT be caught...\n\nAnd suddenly I was in demand more so then I had ever been in my life....everyone was "chasing after me"....INLUDING the ex-boyfriend who suddenly decided I was something worth fighting for...but it was too late....his chance was over...\n\nI had become the "monster HE created".\n\n\nI have now been married for over 25 years, to a man who's a** I refused to kiss, and he says he loves my "spunk", and "sass".....go figure....but we are happy so something must be working right...right.\n\nIn the end the ex who parted with such words of wisdom....has never married...tells everyone who will listen that he's waiting for me...Ha! \n\nMy husband says that it's a clear case of "wanting what you can't ever truly have or possess"....that which makes your heart race, and body sweat....the CHASE.\n\nBut....All I have to say to the ex is this; sorry bud this CHASE is over for you. \n\nSo having said that I would like to end with this;\n\nNO ONE LIKES AN A**KISSER OR TO HAVE THEIR A** KISSED ALL THE TIME....so be a rebel....\nRemember it's the CHASE not the win that gets us all worked up and sweaty....\n\nSo stick to what works and she will ask you soon enough....\n\nAnd in the end you may surprise yourself to find that once she does ask YOU, that the tables have turned and now....she has become the "too clingy" one for you.\n\nHoped this helped...and thanks for the chance to relive some memories.
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NO SEX TONIGHT\n \nI never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much.\nAnd I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing.\n\nI have never figured out why men think with their head, and women with their heart. \nFor example: \n\nOne evening lasts week, my wife and I were getting into bed, well the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't \nfeel like it, I just want you to hold me."\n\nI said "What???   What was that?"\n\nSo she says the words that every husband on the planet dreads to hear.... \n\n"You're not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman, enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." \n\nShe responded to my puzzled look by saying,  "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?" \n\nRealizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.\n\nThe very next day I opted to take the day off work to spend time with her. \n\nWe went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big department store.\n\nI walked around with her while she tried on several different, very expensive outfits. \n\nShe couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. \n\nShe wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit.\n\nWe went onto the jeweler department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. \n\nLet me tell you . . . . she was so excited.  She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. \n\nI started to think she was testing me, because she asked for a tennis bracelet, when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. \nI think I threw her for a loop when I said,  "That's fine, honey."\n\nShe was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. \n\nSmiling with excited anticipation, she finally said,  "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier."\n\nI could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."\n\nHer face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, "WHAT?"\n\nI then said "Honey!  I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while.  You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man, enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."\n\nAnd just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added,  "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"\n \nApparently I'm not having sex tonight, either.
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GIRLS: \n\nHow do I loose weight?\nHow do I keep my boyfriend?\n\n - this is my situation .. and they describe how exactly they are stuck.\n\n\nGUYS:\n\nMale, 16, do want to be girlfriend? Shoot me an email?\n\nHow 'big' am I? Am I too big? Am I too small?\n\n\n\nABOVE 30:\n\nBush sucks?\n\nBush is good?\n\n\nALL:\n\nYour religion is worst? (with weird examples)\n\nMy religion is best? (with weird examples)
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Tell him. As a woman I know how easy it is for us to get into the classic withholding information/anger/feelings behavior, and say our favorite line when queried if something is wrong, "nothing". But men aren't stupid and they always know that "nothing" means "something", so instead of playing mind games about it, be honest and tell him - honestly. The key to any relationship is honesty. I am not talking about brutal, cut-his-throat honesty, as this will only make matters worse and make the argument bigger than what it is. I am speaking of the kind of honesty where you say something like this: "I am angry with you because I feel you did not ________ or "I feel you did _______ and this offended me." The key is to add "I feel" statements, rather than "You did" statements, as the latter puts the person on the defensive, and that will create another argument, though less intense than one generated by angry, blame and attack filled words.\n\nRemain neutral and calm. This is very, very hard to do in the heat of an argument. If the timing is not right and you are still too pissed off to tell him, address it at another time. You must remain calm and measured in your tone of voice. Be neutral and don't allow yourself to get emotionally plugged in to his reaction, which may be angry or defensive. If you have to, pinch yourself in the thigh to make sure that you remain calm and listen carefully to what he has to say!  Do not, no matter how hard you want to do this, interrupt.  If you feel that you are going to explode, then you need to excuse yourself and be alone for awhile. If you feel he is going to explode, you need to do the same.\n\nBeing honest and upfront about any anger induced situation (or anything for that matter) AT THE MOMENT IT HAPPENS is also key. Or, if not at that precise moment, later on in the day or a few hours later is also fine because it is still fresh in your combined memories. You know, as I do, that women tend to put off expressing their feelings (though not all women) and we allow cumulative anger to be built up inside of us until the tops of our heads want to blow off when we get angry. When we are triggered by the proverbial last straw, we explode and what was once a teeny, tiny stupidity, becomes a volcano, overflowing with lava! Everything he has ever done to you since you first met will be drawn out in single file and used as weapons, including the time when he looked at you the wrong way when you were tired. This is not productive. This not healthy for your relationship or YOU. Stress fouls up everything and makes you sick, so deal with things calmly and rationally when they happen. And as for those 5,000,000 things he did before? Let them go. If you didn't deal with them THEN, they are moot points now.  \n\nAs an aside, I am a patient sort who lets a lot of stuff roll off my back. However, at the same time, I have a very, very long memory and a temper when I am exceedingly provoked. When my hubby used to piss me off, I'd bring out the big guns and would go on the offensive. Every thing he ever did or said to me would come out, and the original thing that bothered me got lost in the emotional insanity. Not productive. Now? I tell him what I feel. Consequently, our issues are resolved quickly - and that is a relief!
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dont touch your face or cover your mouth, dont dart your eyes, dont pause, dont fidget, these are all tells, dont ever say i swear or any thing like that just keep it simple and to the point. and if you really want to lie well convince yourself. use this advise only for good.\n\n\nand if you dont want all the hastle dont lie.
225987
Love is treating me real bad. Three different women want to have sex with me this weekend, but ... \n1) one of them is married, and 2 live with boyfriends.\n2) I have a girlfriend who lives in another state. I haven't  cheated yet, why start now?\n3) I am skeptical of a woman who solicits sex from me. I just am. All the fun is in the chase. That is where intelligence comes in. How can I be subtle with a woman who is oblivious to the subtle things in life?\n\nThis may come as a surprise but I have had enough sex. I am ready to shut the game down, but every girl I meet thinks I am still a player.\n\nI'm serious I have got to have a girl with a brain; no compromise. I don't care beautiful a girl is. What I want to know is; can she spell beautiful?\n\nSo ...
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I'm currently teaching my man how to deal when I'm suffering from PMS. Men need know women really do suffer.. The mood swings are beyond a lady's control. \n\nJust dont have a smart mouth. This is the worse thing a man can do.\n\nDONT FIGHT FIRE WITH FIRE\n\nAPOLOGIZE A LOT\n\nAPOLOGIZE FOR ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING\n\nAPOLOGIZE FOR NOT HAVING A PERIOD TOO\n\nAgree with her and tell her its OK and please please sympathize and empathize
65585
- Tell your desire decently in a manner which should not make her angry.\n- Wait for the result.\n- All the best Wishes for you to be lucky.\n- enjoy....!\n------------------
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Looks 5/101\nIntelligence 12/101\nAttitude/Confidence 12/101\nWork/Money 5/101\n\nHumor 10 -He's got to be someone who I can laugh with and make me laugh.  Life is too difficult not to be\n\nCommonality 10 -We should have something in common.  We don't have to have the same EVERYTHING but there should be some common ground that we can find\n\nKindness 8 -He's got to care about others and the world in general. \n\nPatience/Understanding 13 -I know I'm a task and a trial to deal with from time to time.  I know to be with me require some patince. And understanding me is one part of loving me.\n\n"Let's Go-ness" 10 -I'm a traveling girl. There are perspectives that you only get when you leave home. This also calls for a certain kind of spontenatiy which I'm drawn to. We're not following eachother, we are going together.\n\nPassion 10 -He's got to be passonate about something, music, sports, his pet, his carrer me (:-) something.  Drive and determination.  This one I got from experince.  I have too much to be with someone who is apathetic.\n\nVirality 6 -I'm talking about making me feel like a woman.  If he doesn't have skills at least be able to take directions and work until he has it right.
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1-I'd be there, letting you crush my finger bones during each contraction.\n2-I'd grab you, throw you over my shoulder and carry you home. Then I'd put you in the shower naked.\n3-I'd get you nice and clean, then make you be nice and dirty.\n4-I'd probably let it slide, but I'd remind you that you could've just asked to use my toilet.\n5-Fortunately, I'm trained in Heimlich, CPR, and such. And I tend to keep a pretty cool head in such situations.\n6-That's breaking and entering, but I wouldn't call the cops if you would submit to my own brand of punishment. (!)\n7-I think you've gotten the point by now.\n8-Maybe. Let's get to know each other first.\n9-I only have one bedroom. ;-}\n10-Where do I begin? I have a pretty long list....\n11-see #8
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How about this:\n\n*Tell her it must be okay, because Catholic priests and televangelists do it all the time...\n*Remind her that Jesus himself said that the faithful should be able to handle snakes...\n*Tell her that the first people really beloved by God were always naked.\n*Use the old "Be fruitful and multiply" approach.\n*Ask her if she knew that the phrase "Oh God" is the most common phrase women use during sex, so there must be a connection.\n*Don't even bother using any of these lame @ss ideas. Just dump the little goody-two-shoes. She may be hot, but a 7 that puts out is infinately better than a 10 that doesn't...\n\n-SD-
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Whoaaaaaaaaaaaa....... where is this coming from??\n\n*smacks HER upside the head* (yes......she's a she. Why she uses gorgeous hunky avatars is beyond me.....but God they are gorgeous to look at!)\n\nOk.....who said you were bad at relationships? And you are so not destined to be alone. *smacks her head again* You are adorable. You're funny..... you have depth.... you have intelligence.... you've got honesty and DEFINITELY have integrity. And you have more than that...... but I'm stopping with the list. You KNOW what I mean. \n\nMay I be so bold as to say.... relationships work and fall into place once we find ourselves. That ole silly line about no one can love us until we love ourselves has a bit of truth in it. You have to understand yourself first. What you need..... what is important to you. Where you are going... how you are going to get there. \n\nOnce you do... its amazing how your confidence level goes up. Simply because.... you have focus. Without focus......gosh our mind and goals and wants and needs are scattered all over the place. so we feel like we are failures at relationships merely because we are failures at keeping ourselves together long enough to focus on a relationship. I hope that makes sense in some small way. \n\nThe key is......knowing what you want... but knowing WHY you want it. You have to spot what is good and what is good for you. Not just what is before you.  You have to go thru some bad experiences as well. The have to have seen the bad to recognize the good. \n\nPlease never feel you are destined to be alone. You are destined for such great things. Besides...... you have great people cheering you on. ;)
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How do you make love?\n\n\n\n\n\n\nyou can't make love happen, \nyou cant buy it, \nyou can't try it \n'nor return it,\nyou CAN earn it,\njust be brave,\ndon't behave...\nstick your legs up in the air,\ndon't forget to shave your hair\nany position will do you fine,\nscreaming louder every time\nhold him closer, whisper fU**\nremember then you have to duck,\nhere comes that white stuff, please dont cry,\nyou forgot protection with the wrong guy.\nnow your pregnant, emotions shoot out.\npay your child support, and bi*ch get the fu** out! \n\nI made that up!
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Women practice dismissal, fear, and preoccupation.\n\nThe number one dating advice for women is - "play hard to get".\n\nTheir are 200 men and 200 obese, ugly women for every one good looking woman.\n\nWomen can make money at the same activities found in traditional relationships.