I've had confidence problems since I was a little kid. I guess it was because of the verbal bullying I got since I was like 3 years old. I'll be 16 in June. Most of the time I feel like an accident because there's a 13, 16 and 19 year different between me and my 3 siblings. Now-a-days I'm pretty okay with myself but sometimes I feel so much hatred towards myself espeicaly because I fuck up most things and end up making myself feel even worse or if I can't help one of my friends, thats the worst.\nMost people in school hate me because I'm a like a semi-goth but I don't care much because no matter what I wear I'll still be different, the sore thumb, the black sheep.\nEven though no one's perfect I still try because to be I feel I have to be perfect, to be like the other girls. I think I look really ugly and fat, so I want surgery.\nI know I shouldn't feel like this, so what should I do to help my confidence?
136805
I had a terrible time in high school, too.  I found that a change in location helped change my perspective.  I did this by taking a test to get out of high school, than went to college.  You see, high school heightens one's insecurities, and so a sensitive person like you or me can't deal with it well.  Try and find an alternative form of education that will distance you from the shallow people in high school and help you find all that is good in you.  You know best what you're good at, and you should do it on a regular basis.  It makes you feel better and care less about the little things -- even to the point where all your faults start to disappear.  Best of luck.  You can make it through this.
192273
A piece of advice from me to you, and I swear by this!!!\n\nIf people don't like you for who you are, they can go jump off a bridge!!!\n\nBe cute, have fun, and don't let other people make you feel bad.  You are you, and they should accept that, and you should accept yourself for who you are too.
376552
ok.. first of all, u are AWESOME. seriously, u should really be proud of urself for turning such horrible negativity into something Positive, and not letting it ruin ur life! :) and i bet u don't hate ur mother, u just feel sad when u think of why she treats u that way.. wow, good for you. it is SO HARD to think that way, so EASY to be angry and hurt and HATE people for that kind of stuff.\n\nmy advice to you is to continue what u are doing, but also add a bit to it:\n\nWork on your Confidence and how to meet people. this is so u can create a NEW life and family for yourself.. whether it be friends, or a boyfriend, eventually husband and kids, ok? :) In my opinion, confidence can be "worked on" in 3 steps:\n\nAppearance: exercise. work out. take care of ur Body. take care of ur skin.  get a new, flattering hair cut, makeup, and clothes. the better u Look, the better impression u make on others. also, exercising can get stress out, and give u endorphins (happy chemicals). and lastly, the better u look, the better u FEEL about yourself!\n\nMind:  study.  read more, learn more. keep an open mind.  develop interests and hobbies. take some classes. excel at your job.  remember, if u start joining classes and activities, more likely u can meet some friends who have Similar interests as you. also, u are being Productive and enhancing your strenghts and qualities. :)\n\nRelationships:  typically i say w/ Family and Friends.. but as u say, family is far away/mean, and friends u talk on the phone. that means NEW PEOPLE. u need to concentrate on peopel around you. try with coworkers or peers at school (or at the gym, or walking ur dog, etc).  remember, the better u Look and the more you Know, the less SHY or scared u will be when talking to someone!  also, try to get to know teachers, guidance counselors, etc.  the more people u can speak to with confidence, the better.  eventually u WILL make friends, and then meet their friends..and that is how u create a network of family/friends around you.\n\nAlso, remember to always seek Positive, Healthy and Happy people around you. if anyone is negative, mean, or tries to force u to do something uncomfortable, keep ur distance. u are working on ur life for the BETTER.  the stronger, happier, confident u are, the more opportunities u will have, more doors will open, u will Attract positive people, AND u will be able to get thru the hard times in life w/ ur positivity (case in point: u and ur family!).  \n\ngood luck, and taek care ALWAYS.  the future equals the Ability to Change! no matter what, u can change something little or big in ur life. so don't ever be upset at urself or others for the past. look forward to tomorrow, work hard, and play hard, be Happy and Healthy and u will find Positive things~
373039
Hey, Who the heck cares that you have crooked teeth... c'mon! stop being so depresive! Be more confident in yourself, there is no point in living unless you are having fun. Stop thinking so much about how you look, instead think of how good life is to you. Please stop, if you want more support and more advice then email me at caloanarnaven350@yahoo.com.. but stop caring so much about how people look,  live life well! You are not useless... someone in the world, even if its your dog, loves you sooo much, and it doesn't care at all how you look, so stop yourself! Live life well... even if your parents don't buy you braces soon, and if they do then ROCK ON!! don't be so sad because you think you look bad, instead be happy and just don't care much about it... ! \nLook on the bright side of your life
480383
I have never been a 14y/o girl but a was a R.N. that worked for many years on psychiatric units and on an adolescent unit for a total of about a year.\n\nIt sounds normal that you and your sister don't get along and that you're concerned about it. Try to get along with her but realize that it may not be until you and she get older that it's possible to get along. My brother and I fought frequently until I was 18y/o. Now we are best friends.\n\nIt is normal to feel some anxiety when questioning relationships with friends. At 63y/o I still deal with that. Are there things that you and they could talk about that might make it possible to remain friends? That might help some.\n\nAs a 14y/o girl it is normal to be anxious about your weight and anything that relates to how you look and how attractive you are to the opposite sex. Your body has probably already started to make major changes and you know that your body will continue to change as you continue to mature. All of this makes a person unsure of themself because it's so new for you.\n\nAll of us worry about what other people think of us. Some people aren't aware of this in themselves and a lot of people lie about this. They say that they don't care what other people think but really they do; but they want other people to "think" they don't care. At 14y/o it is normal to be more concerned about this because of all the physical and emotional changes you are going through.\n\nOne way to help yourself not worry is to tell yourself the truth. When thoughts come into your mind, that doesn't automatically mean they are true or valid. The problem is that thoughts cause emotions whether they are true or not.\n\nWhen you worry about your appearance, you can break into that worrying by telling youself that you don't have to look "perfect" to look "good".If you believe in God, so much the better. Then you can tell yourself that God decided to create you the way you are and that God does not make mistakes.\n\nThe idea is that when you keep telling yourself something that is both true and positive, that your emotions will follow and that you will feel good. It's like looking at the glass as 1/2 full or 1/2 empty. Both are true but thinking of the glass 1/2 full will cause you to feel good and thinking about the glass 1/2 empty will cause you to feel bad and worry.\n\nSome of the other answers had good suggestions. Physical exercise helps a person be able to tolerate stress better. Being involved with some activity helps keep your mind off of thoughts that make you feel bad but are not necessarilly the truth.\n\nThe more you can talk about these feelings and concerns with trusted adults and with girlfriends, the more you will be able to put things in perspective and see yourself as a normal 14 y/o girl and are going through things all other 14y/o girls go through.\n\nYou seem like a very nice girl and your parents should be very proud of you. It is a blessing to them from God that you were born to be their daughter.
344733
Yeah, I went through that 6th-8th grade. It just feels like everyone hates you. You are an easy target. I had to change schools, my behavior and appearance to find my will to live, and friends. DON'T let others judge your self-worth. Who are they anyway? Everyone is equal.\n\nI heard that people who feel bad about themselves enjoy making other people feel low, so they can feel better about themselves. See how it works?\n\nIgnore them. Only God will love you unconditonally because he understands you inside and out. Draw close to him and ask for friends who will love you for you,
217505
A girl still would not find you attractive if you take steroids.  It also won't help your self-esteem because you would have taken an easy way out to try to feel better about yourself - thus, no reason to respect yourself.  The best way to get over your low self-esteem is to work hard, exercise & eat right so you can get in shape.  If you honestly work at it you'll know that you've accomplished something and you can be proud of yourself for it.  Then you can think to yourself, "If I can do this, I can do [insert anything here] too."  Good luck!
76732
I know how you feel.  I'm 18, not too much older than you and I just used to feel like a failure everytime I ate because I was just so caught up in my body image and felt that eatin made me fat. If I became fat, no one would like me.  It's not weird to feel self conscious about your body image, you just need to know how to control your eating habits.  Eat when you are hungry, you should always eat 3 meals a day and snacks inbetween.  Never skip out on meals because when you starve yourself and then you finally do eat, your body will hold onto the fat and store it because it doesn't know when it'll be fed again.  So work out also. A walk around the block is always great.
496159
You just need to boost your own self confidence a bit. Think to yourself that you are more then worthy and the best thing out there. When you believe this there will be no problem.
570986
This happens when people are neglected. Find something you like to do and make friends who are positive. Sometimes, even having friends through the internet gives you something to look forward to, and it can help boost your confidence and self-esteem and not make you feel like you want to run away. And of course, make a personality of your own, so that your family can notice you and appreciate your inner beauty! :)
534916
Don't worry about how you look, but how you feel about it. Would you prefer to know or not? I would rather read them. I am a worse critic of myself than anyone else, so if there is something negative to say, I can do that myself already and am not afraid what others may say or think. \n\nIf you want you can ask your sources what they prefer and follow their wishes.
104805
You are as good as anyone else ,so don't feel others are better than you because you feel things more deeply than they do.Do not try to stifle these feelings. Talk to your close friends and your parents about it . Even if they do not have a fast answer that will feel good to you. They will have some ideas and ask them to share their feelings on things and why they feel about those things.Laughter is a good medicine. Watch a funny movie. Develop a sense of humor as you go thru life humor will help you in the most tragic events,believe me I know. Listen to music and take up a musical instrument, music is very soothing and will also help you !! meow!!! Did you laugh ??lol. Good luck and be well !!
215851
I know how you feel. I used be like that too. I used to hate getting into conversations with people and I would blush and get so nervous!\n\nI still get like that a bit nowadays, but now way near as bad. It never goes, you just learn to deal with it and learn to accept it.\n\nDo you have any hobbies? Such as going to Martial arts lessons, or dancing classes, etc? You will find that going to these places will really help your confidence and also you will get to meet new people - people in the same situation as you; a beginner in the class, a bit nervous - and so you have common grounding and have something you can both talk about.\n\nRemember that you are not alone with this problem. There are hundreds and thousands of people out there just like you! It's just that they are too shy and nervous to approach people just like you, so you never get to meet them... think about it!\n\nAnd the friend thing, don't worry about that. I can count the number of true friends on 3 of my fingers - anyone who says they have loads of friends, they are lying. You may have acquaintances and 'mates' but true friends are very hard to come by.\n\nYou must also learn to enjoy your own company. Learn to love yourself, and you will feel happier inside. The friends will come naturally, you can't force friendships!!!\n\nGood Luck.\n\nJulie
336788
Honey, you are not fat. Your weight is right for your age and height. At 13 you may be feeling a little sensitive about your looks which is totally normal for a teen. Don't ever let another person make you feel bad about yourself. And the person who called you that ugly name is probably just feeling bad about himself. You will be surprised what 4 or 5 years can do for your looks also. You will probably be a real knockout in a little while. Best of luck to you.
662490
even if they don't admit it everyone cares about what other people think. I personally are just like you i am very worried about what every one thinks of me and i try to even sometimes to pretend to be something i am not just to feel like i fit in . i hope you grow confidence and become happy with you and what people think of you GOOD LUCK! P.S if it helps you sound like a great person to me.
101954
Well we get to point in life when we feel so nervous and weary about our age and basically appearence. but tell you what, just get a nice outfit, (i presume you are a female)not too body hugging and not too big on you, just get the right size; more or less a tailor made size. Then answer questions confidently and just be yourself, don't panic, take your time to answer the questions and try to be wittly cunning to show that you are up to the task but don't over do it; just show that you are not afraid of challenges. finally, just look good, the right make up, hairstlye, remember be confident and don't feel intimidated by anything during the inteview. cheers, Bajo.
530749
First off, you should never change who you are to impress people. If you know you are charming and funny etc, than what's the problem. People always see you the way you portray yourself to them. Don't be afraid to speak your mind. if you're not comfortable in your own skin, why should others feel comfortable near you. like I said, people see you in the way  you want them to see you. You already began the first step...you took a step back and realized that you have great qualities.