My sister died when she was 5 years old! I was only 10! She died from rocky mountain spotted fever, which is a tick disease! How do I stop being sad!! I hate crying, yet I do it almost every day!! I need help! It has been 4 years sence she died!
135441
When I was 14 my fave cousin died, he was 18.  It was a car accident.  It has been 13 years.  It took my about 11years before I could even talk about it.  Time is the only thing that can heal you.  It's ok to cry.  Maybe find someone to talk to.  It's hard.  I think about him everyday.  I'm so sorry for your loss.  Try to think about the good times and  keep her memory going.  LOVE
607407
My Grandma passed away 6 yrs ago on the 6th of July.......her Bday is June 30th......every yr since she has left.....I go to her gravesite....bring her fresh flowers & just sit for an hr or so....although some people would say I am bonkers.....I talk....I tell her everything....even though I know she is with me on a daily basis....& sees all that is going on....I still do this....it makes me feel like she is really there.....even though I walk away crying...& missing her even more....I know that it something we enjoyed together.....my Grandma was a VERY special woman....I miss her everyday & sometimes just break down & cry whenever I think of her.....I just thank god she was able to meet my daughter before she went....my son was 2 & my daughter was 1 when it happened.....Honey, I know it is hard when it is a Parent.....she was like a mom to me.....just go spend some time with him....pray & remember every good time....even remember the bad times.....just celebrate him.....GOD BLESS YOU in your time of need....
322353
Grief and grieving is an individual thing. Accept how you feel now. You will only make yourself feel bad by feeling guilt about this. Nothing will be gained by punishing yourself this way. You see there is a time for tears, always. Please be prepared though for your sadness to rise up and make itself felt when you least expect it. It could happen when you are watching a favourite TV show or a DVD movie that you have seen many times, but on this occasion something said along with the music that plays in the background will all of a sudden overwhelm you with sadness and remind you so sharply of your losses that you will be unable to stop the tears falling. This too, is OK. You see we are practical people who have many day to day activities to get through to enable us to live in the manner we see fit. The world keeps revolving and sun comes up each day and goes down at night to be replaced by the moons light. Life goes on and so do we. But our feelings of loss and sadness remain with us for quite some time, sometimes forever. As time goes by, year by year, the sharpness of the pain eases, especially as we have new happinesses and new challenges which give our life purpose. My friend, feel your pain today or tomorrow or next year it is OK. Just recognise that it is there and accept it as a natural human response. Time takes care of all of our ills. Life is truly to be lived...not grieved.
306353
You need to talk to someone that has survived suicide.\nLike me. 5 years ago at age 41 out of the blue my husband left me for another women.\nI was totally comsumed with pain. I can not explain to you how it felt,more pain than I have ever tried to withstand.I lost 18 pounds in 3 weeks,I slept all the time-at least when I was not crying.\nIt had nothing to do with wanting to be dead-I just wanted the hurt to stop because I could no longer stand it.\nDue to a miracle I was saved (yes, my dr. used that term) and I checked myself into a psychartic hospital for the sucidial where I meet lots of people like me.I was there 2 weeks.\nI learned so much from those people and often think of them.\nIn the hospital was a children's ward and the kids would come to the cafeteria as a group-all those teenage girls some with there wrists bandaged.\nBut one sticks in my mind-the youngest one there-a 3 year old boy who had cut his wrists with a knife. The nurse told me it was not his first attempt.\nSuicidal people do not have the same thought process as "normal" people.They can be born that way or have a tramatic experience that "changes" there thought process.\nEveryone I met in the hospital said the same thing-not one of us WANTED to die we didn't think we had a RIGHT to die.\nSuicide is about a person being in so much pain,crushing pain,unbearbale pain,non-stop pain that death is a way to relieve the pain.\nYou may use any of this in your paper or email any questions to me.
557117
Wow!!!  Don't know what else to say.  I lost my 18 yr old in June, 2005.  And my mother 10 days after him in June, 2005.  And I thought I was having it BAD!!!  I guess that old adage that my mother used to say is true.  "There's always someone who has it worse".  I am sooo sorry, that I don't know what to say.  All I can do is to tell you that I am on yahoo messenger, as americanhousewife2005 and my email is americanhousewife2005@yahoo.com...I'm truly there for you to talk to!!!
156885
i've battled bouts of depression for years.this weekend i figured out that i probably should live in a warm climate in the winter, because from the holidays until the weather starts getting warm i just hate everything.   it took years to figure this out.  but sit down and try and feel why you are so down.  if it's not because of what is going on in your life, it could be something chemically going on in your brain.  and there are meds to help that.  just tell your doctor .  i know my doc gave me a couple of books to read about life,etc. and a prescription.  i analyzed myself and i think i know what the problem is now.  next step is what can i do about it.?  as much as i'd like to i can't go to florida every winter.  but i can make it a goal for myself.  please talk to your doctor.  especially if something is going on in your life.  doctors don't judge you.  they are there to help you.
316686
Honey, you are being normal for a 12 year old. Your body is finally changing into adult hood. Talk to your mother about it. It may help you in your feelings. You can be depressed at the age of 12, but you can stop it from happening by talking to her about it. Your period may be about to start, which is scary for someone your age, and as someone who has had her period for 12 years now, I know you have all these emotional things that happen and you dont know why. Sucks, but that is the price we have to pay for being female. Good luck sweety. And feel better.
288944
Sorry to hear about that I have close family members with that terrible illness. Have you considered looking for a liver transplant support group to join? I would not like to see you go through that trauma again. I will see if I can find some groups near you. Should there be none in your area think about starting one. I need to know approx the area you live. Take care ~A~
160588
how do you start dealing with grief,,,not that we are taught that now are we.\n\nI lost my dad 4 years ago xmas eve ( so when people are getting all happy ready for xmas i'm not) and he died also suddenley,.\n \nI see rest of family getting on with it so I think why cant I, but are they???, they prob feeling the same.  think of him at times and then I get upset.\n\nI think also because it was sudden doesnt mean it hurts more than if u know someone is going to die before hand, like my friends mother who had cancer.\nThey prepared themselves for her not being round much longer.... but\n Shock of loosing a loved one is that SHOCK.\n\ntalking does help, listen to me hey lol i can only talk to strangers about this.\n\n its hard cause they ie parents have been there all our life we have known them forever and now they not there.\n\n\n\nSo as far as i know it is normal still to greive, cause you dont think about them doesnt mean you have forgotton them\n\n\nI hope this makes sense sometimes you cant get your words out.\ngood luck sweetie xx
561289
Everyone's life is full of worries.  What makes yours more important?  Just deal with what you can as you can and don't worry about the small stuff.  Take life one day at a time and thank God that you woke up this morning.  We all feel hopeless.  I have a good cry and sulk for a few days.  Then I pick myself up and move on.  I have a family to think of.  Just think of how your loved ones would feel if you were not here.  Don't be selfish.
136758
I cant even begin to imagine how you are feeling.  I know you want to follow her but would SHE want that?  I can bank that it is no.  You need to seek therapy.  You are very depressed right now.  While thats normal, you need the help to ensure you dont do anything stupid.  The pain you are going through is probably the worst you have ever felt in your life.  Take it one day at a time.  If that doesnt help, take it one minute at a time.  Talk to people.  Let them know how you are feeling just like you did here.  Never let yourself be alone right now.  But do greive her death.  Thats healthy.  You will be fine and every day it does get a little easier.  I have lost 3 kids and 3 sisters and my dad so I can relate a little.  Know that you have a friend here and you are not alone.
628185
I would agree with the people who suggested PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) .. though perhaps it doesn't need to be labelled as that, to go through such an awful experience and lose your cousin and your friend .. plus you were driving .. I'm wondering if there are still emotional wounds inside that haven't healed. Sometimes we work on healing and it gets into our head - intellectually - but doesn't quite get absorbed in our heart - emotionally. Perhaps somewhere inside you feel a sense of guilt. I'm a survivor of child abuse, and we feel guilt over the abuse, over not stopping it, etc. even though now as adults we KNOW that we have nothing to feel guilty about, that it wasn't our fault .. but it takes a lot to really FEEL this knowledge. \n\nI think maybe it could be the reason for your moods, specifically BECAUSE you say "I feel I'm over it" and because you bring it up at all. If you were really over it, it wouldn't have popped into your mind as a possibility or even as a non-possibility. I believe you instincts are telling you where the pain lies. The trigger is not that experience of the accident, but day-to-day things that trouble or tire or worry you, these are the triggers that waken the old pain. The accident experience isn't the trigger, it's what GETS triggered, and the moods are the resulting feelings/behaviours of that. \n\nWhy not see a good therapist and tell her/him you'd like to process the feelings you have today about that experience, and find some awareness understanding and closure about it. What have you got to lose?  You have anger, fear, sadness ... if this turns out to be the reason, you can leave that baggage behind and move towards a happier way of living.  I hope you'll consider it.  You ARE depressed, and the best way to help yourself is to get some good help. If for some reason you don't have access to a therapist, please try a support group or a counselor, or at least a trusted person who will listen supportively and non-judmentally. I run a group online (free and anonymous) for survivors of childhood abuse/trauma, and if nothing else, you can always join us. It helps to talk and be listened to. I've put the link to my group below if you want. \n\nTake care of yourself and don't worry, you will get the help you need, and feel better.
284037
Don't be afraid of your feelings - they aren't wrong. The difference can be how you react to them. You shouldn't have to pretend to be more upset than you. When I lost my dad, my siblings were all upset and a mess, but I felt like I knew it was coming although it was quick and sudden, and I loved my dad a whole lot. Hang in there, you'll feel better in time!
164512
Sounds all too familiar with me. My grandmother, who basically raised me  and was also my friend and support system, passed away a little over two years ago...and I still haven't let go. I still find myself sitting and thinking and ending up in tears because I miss her so much. It is very difficult, but you have to remind yourself that she is still with you everywhere you go, and no matter who you become. She will always be with you because it was she who helped to shape you into who you are today...you'll never forget that. How do you get over that? You just deal with it day by day and it will get better. You might also want to keep something near you that she'd given you, or something that reminds you of her...if you need to talk to her, hold it, and speak your mind. I know it sounds stupid, but it works. \n\nIf you do, however, feel that things are getting way out of hand, maybe you should consider therapy. I probably should have! :) Just keep your head up and remember the good things...you'll be fine. My condolences....
46315
Sounds all too familiar with me.  My grandmother, who basically raised me also and was also my friend and support system, passed away almost two years ago...and I still haven't let go.  I still find myself sitting and thinking and ending up in tears because I miss her so much.  It is very difficult, but you have to remind yourself that she is still with you everywhere you go, and no matter who you become.  She will always be with you because it was she who helped to shape you into who you are today...you'll never forget that.  How do you get over that?  You just deal with it day by day and it will get better.  You might also want to keep something near you that she'd given you, or something that reminds you of her...if you need to talk to her, hold it, and speak your mind.  I know it sounds stupid, but it works.  \n\nIf you do, however, feel that things are getting way out of hand, maybe you should consider therapy.  I probably should have!  :)  Just keep your head up and remember the good things...you'll be fine.  My condolences....
154536
I used to have it a lot.  I washed my hands ALL the time and took like 3 or 4 baths a day.  Couldn't eat anything that I didn't feel was clean enough, ended up crying all the time because I thought I was going to die of some weird sickness...had it for a long time but never took any medication for it.  Eventually it went away on its own.
227279
You cry, you be angry.  You remember the fun times.  My son lost  of his best friends to leukemia when he was 11. \n\nI think he was 14 or 15 before he could get through the anniverary of his death without crying.\n\nHe rode in bike-a-thons to raise money to cure leukemia and still talks about and misses him.\n\nCry...let it out.  And if people tell you to get over it. Ignore them, they  are ignorant and do not deserve your attention.