I'm not asking which is better or more socially acceptable. Which is the easier to carry off: Appearing happy when you're around other people or appearing unhappy? So much of socialization is about appearances, so I am using that word very deliberately (i.e., it is not necessarily reflective of your mood). Which is harder work for you, and why?
123415
Well this is totally different than what we discussed a few days ago......lol  The "Carry off" portion changes the whole perspective. When you say it this way....I realize you are talking about "masking" feelings with happiness......or promoting the feeling of unhappiness for the sake of your audience. \n\nYes, I'm a master at smiling and making the world think I'm happy. (even when things are crumbling around me) Rarely do people know the blows that life lands on me because I won't allow the efffects to show in my demeanor. It's not that it is work.....it's not that it is hard to do.....it's just how it is. I never want people to feel sorry for me or to feel that they must take on my burdens, so I tackle things on my own in my own time and don't show the negative side. \n\nThus why I said earlier that maintaining a "negative" disposition would be harder work for me. It would mean that I would actually have to bring my issue to the forefront of my mind and think about it. It's such a natural response for me to just "table" it until I'm alone. When someone that knows me well sits me down and says, "Ok, spill it....something is eating at you." Well it takes all the strength and effort in the world to make myself actually "unload." I seriously just have a very very hard time burdening anyone else with the things floating around in my head. So hands down.............it's easier to maintain a positive disposition than a negative one. \n\n*now all of you think I need therapy right? lol....you just might be right!! lol*
589361
"Outgoing" is displaying positive personality traits.  People like being around other people who exhibit these traits.  It has apparently not struck you that one of the great injustices of the workplace is that personality is usually more important than skill, other things being equal.  You aren't going to change this any time soon.\nLooking at it another way, it is likely that whatever is being done where you work isn't the type of job that people would show up and do if they weren't being paid.  That being said, being pleasant to each other makes life a good deal easier for everyone.  You don't have to walk around with a smile on your face like you are on heavy anti-depressants, but your mannerisms and the way you say things all have an effect on other people.  If you make others uncomfortable, then they want to be around you less.  If that is true, you are worth less to the company.  I encourage you to accept this and consider a few positive modifications to your behavior which might help.\nThe bottom line is this: if you decide you like a given job, look like you are enjoying it.  A few efforts at, perhaps, helping others, saying positive things about other people and generally not being a pain in the butt can work wonders.  Yes, the daily grind is a pain and everyone has his or her problems, but no one wants to see that on someone's face.  Believe me, you may think you are hiding it, but it is transparent.\nYou may want to have your doctor check you out for depression, which is a medical condition.  It is treatable without pills that make you into a zombie.  There is no shame in having depression. Asking for help shows strength of character.\nLastly, if you decide to make a few changes, don't expect miracles overnight.  You clearly aren't going to become a chatterbox, but try and see yourself the way others see you, respond to what people want from you in a positive manner, and smile a few times during the day at other people.\nIf none of this works, you might want to try going to school for engineering.  Typically, these people like working with machines and figures because they find people are disconcerting.
395750
Oh definitely yes!  I hate when people (unsolicited) will try to figure out "what's wrong" if I'm not smiling and bubbly.  sometimes there isn't even anything wrong, just that I am thinking of something and need to think it through or that I am trying to finish some project and people keep interrupting.  And those things seem impossible for the cheer-up crew to understand!  So yes, I can relate to that.\n\n      I don't think people should take it upon themselves to try and cheer everyone up in their path, or to butt in and ask what is the matter.  It's OK to do so quietly and let the person know you are there if they need to talk ONCE, but then leave it alone and wait and see if the person actually wants to talk.  If not, there is nothing the cheery one can do and they need to move on to another prospect!
186437
When I'm not happy, which is (happily) kind of rare, I try to remember to do a little honest self evaluation. There's usually something wrong with the way I'm looking at things, and I need to address that issue. AKA adjust my attitude. And, hey, sometimes I take a few bucks and go to a local thrift store and buy used books. Why does that kind of material stuff help? Oh, I don't know. Maybe sometimes, when its nothing really serious, we just need something tangible (physical/material) that we like in order to take our minds off stuff or rest our minds a bit, ya know? ~ Peace & Blessings ~
575459
Thanks for making my day funny....A smile is worth more than treasures.. Thanks..\nSome people have no sense of humor....\nDo you think people with no sense of humor have more wrinkles??
595437
Thank you for a thought povoking question, and I will try to answer it in a way that you can understand.\n\nWhat I can see, is that reliability is a quality. Both introverts and extroverts can have that. I guess I have to answer it from my own perspective here.\n\nIn my case, reliability seem has something to do with my introversion. For example, if someone ask me a favor, I would not just blindly accept to do that favor. I would calculate it carefully and cautiously. I usually tell people that I would try my best but leave some mental space for them the expect a less satisfying result. Fortunately, I was able to give them a rather happier result.\n\nAs a highly introvert person, I think I would prefer an introvert rather then extrovert when comes to having a friend. Because some of the introverts are rather sensitive, and I feel more relax with sensitive people around.\n\nI think the reason we introverts don't smile much, is because we spend most of the time in deep thinking or in reflection. What we usually think about are the things that are important or matter to us. We can put a smile on our face... mostly towards those who we consider them as important people... to us.\n\nThank you
365089
Very much so. I cannot be around alot of people. I get very nervous and feel out of place. I think It's because I feel that people should think and act like me so naturaly I feel out of place. Im much more happy being alone or with family or one close friend I have. I also go shopping for whatever I need early in the morning just so Im not around alot of people and I do not like going out to eat at all so youre not alone and I dont think their is anything wrong with being like this, It's just the way we are. If thats what makes us happy then It's ok.
630589
Plastic surgery is just a more drastic way to change your appearance, but is not really that much different than using makeup or a push up bra (in my opinion).  If you get the plastic surgery because you would like a part of your appearance changed then go for it.  If you are doing it because you are depressed, because you think it will make you happy, or because you want others to like you more, then you may want to rethink your decision.  Changing your looks does not change who you are.
268712
I think it's a social thing. Ok ok ok...I know I'm going to get over analytical here, but here goes. Someone will really want to reach out to someone they would like to be friends with. But they don't know what to say. So they figure, find some common ground. Misery loves company they say....right? So if I dog our boss to a co worker...won't he have a comeback and complain right along with me? Or if I go up to someone I barely know and complain about the weather, won't they surely agree with me and help out the conversation with a complaint of their own? \n\nSad part is....it would seriously work the opposite way too. Somehow people just feel safer being on the "complaining" side than being one of the "shiny happy people" that so many want to slap. ;) And why is that? We are often jealous of someone else's happiness because we are still working to achieve our own. \n\nAren't we ever satisfied? yeahhh.....of course we are. But society will always have something to complain about just for the sake of having a common bond. :)
172039
Finally--an interesting question...thank you!! It actually made me think.I had never really thought about that before,but upon pondering it,I do believe that may be the case.When I was working at home all day,I longed for human interaction at times--so that I would be ultra friendly to people when I did venture out,to the bank,grocery store...wherever!!Just I guess to TALK to someone.My nature is friendly anyways,but I think even more so then--when I was in solitude more often.
577902
I remember always thinking people thought i was sensitive and I thought i was moody because of it.  What i have learned and i don't know if this goes for you but it's a shot, is that it wasn't that i was sensitive it was that i wasn't effective with telling people how i really felt.  I wasn't assertive enough. My feelings would get hurt easily and then i would get moody. I use to think having sensitivity was a weakness but i realized it is more of a blessing in a world where there are people who can be very insensitive.  Communicating effectively with the people around you will give you the confidence to not misunderstand what they are saying to you. For example, say someone says something to you that you interpret as hurtful, it is o.k. to calmly ask this person, what did you mean by that?  If they say Oh, I'm only kidding, calmly say, with confidence, i didn't fine that funny. Every situation, of course, will be different. If you practice being more assertive you will find that it is o.k. to keep your sensitivity and the moods will fade away.  Being sensitive is not a bad thing sadness and stress is.
288029
It's nothing more than forcing yourself to go talk to people. When you say you're not particularly shy, you mean you are shy but you can tolerate being around people. It's nothing more than making yourself go out and be around people and talking to them, even if you don't want to.
574702
Shy people are often stronger for their childhoods.  I just read an article about shy CEOs, who would much rather be at home by themselves then schmoozing at a party.  I was shy growing up and I think the difference that I saw as a girl was that, my inntroverted nature often led me to be seen as a bitch.  I didn't talk to people a lot so they assumed I thought I was better then them, when in reality I was just shy.  There are character aspects that shy people admire about ougoing people and vise versa.  Outgoing people are just more vocal about putting shy people down because often times they wish they could be more reflective.
182502
It is easier to be negative than positive. To get rid of that you have to force yourself please do take care about the  below advices,satisfaction guaranteed:\n\n-Try to wake up aerly and take a shower\n-Try to wear clean and well ironed clothes\n-Try to smile to everyone\n-Try not to eat too much ,have some speciality food like chiness. It is a proof that you are intelligent and yoou have something special.\n-Try to go to the same restaurant \n-Remember to smile because I am sure that smiling suits you a lot\n-Have positive friends If not try to meet with other people (You can make friens in the restaurant that you always go)\n-Try to talk with people and try to listen and comment even they are nonsense.\n-Have comments on anything on the meal that you eat or on a suit that you would like to buy or on a tv show\n-Try to organize your life like going to bed at the same time\n\nYou will recognise the diffence on you
132689
Proper etiquette was ingrained in me as a child. My mothers side of the family has a strong "proper English" back round and it just was a way of life. Hospitality was the norm. Being polite at our own dinner table at home was always upheld. It was very nice to have my fathers side of the family to balance this out. They were often blunt and had a hearty appetite for laughter, even in public.\nI am grateful that I was raised with both. I can enjoy the company of a variety of people and not just those that are "socially acceptable"(heavy quotation marks there)\n\n"Please" and "Thank you" I think are just the cornerstones of good manners. Politeness is something that shows respect as well. Being courteous to strangers is a must for me. I would want the same in return.\n\n How important are they? On a scale of 1 - 10 I would say an 8. Very important. But certainly not the most important things in life.
94965
Many people are like that, for several reasons. It could be for intimidation, or just because people don't want to worry family and friends. Normally, people are unhappy because of the everyday problems that arouse as we go on. Things like money, office work, children, social problems, health problems, and many others don't necessarily make one unhappy, but most people faced with these things don't try to appear unhappy.\nBut, on the other hand, many people are not like that. Many people are in love with life and are as happy as can be. they don't need to make others believe that they are happy- they already are! People who don't socialize much might not have as much of a need to make others feel like they are happy, though.\nIt's hard to say whether the statement is right or wrong, but there are different types of people. Let me just say that a lot of times, the superficial reality is different from the truth.
144952
You can see their expression on the face while the person meets you first and if you think the person is with a gloomy face,then the person is in a bad mood or the person is not happy to see you as he or she may not like talking to you.You can change your way of speaking or just don`t talk alot as people get very irritated if you talk too much.