is there gain in devocing marriage after many years of being with each other,And if their is children in the marriage,what i think is if there is kwon trust in the marriage or if there is kwon money because some lover depend on money or the man is looking at another women outside
124474
Just curious as to why this question is being asked in the "football" category.
24311
While I don't know the statistics about this, I can speak from experience. My Dad did the same thing to my Mom. He married the mistress. I now live with them, and well I'll tell you this "Once a cheater, always a cheater." They are on the verge of a divorce as well. The marriage has lasted 5.5 years.\n\nHope that helped!
227484
I was married for 20 years...got to the whole "'til death do you part" portion of the deal.  He was my absolute best friend, husband, lover...soulmate.  I do believe that in long term relationships there is no gray area, you either grow together, or you grow apart.  I have become who I am because of the life we shared and by having to survive his death...I am stronger, more independent, and hopefully one hell of a mother because of it all.
125174
most ppl end in divorce for one reason or another and think that after 13 yrs it isnt possible..\n\nme and hubby been together since 98 and will be married 3 yrs in august..both in our 40's..my 1st marriage and his 2nd..his 1st wife died about 22 yrs ago...\n\ni think alot of ppl are jealous of your relationship..i say the hell with them...you married the right one and also after 13 yrs know that marriage is not a game..it can take alot of work but it is possible\n\ni find myself loving my hubby more and more and its the small things that add up that make the difference and it is not about money either..we both work and have seperate bank accounts so this knocks out fighting over money..my son is grown and gone and his son and daughter are grown and gone...i pay certain things around here and he pays certain things..the rest is split up and some things are if you see it is needed you buy it..no problems there...with the common denominators not present that doesnt leave us much to argue about...lol...kids and money....when we do argue it is usually about that time of the month for me and also i am in perimenopause so when my hormones go haywire  he knows it..9 times out of 10 he will go to his garage and stay until he knows i have calmed down.\nwe talk everything out  even if it take a few days but i would not trade him in for anything\n\neven if we are fighting we still tell each other i love you before going to bed, leaving for work or wherever or just say it upon entering the room..he still holds doors open for me, lets me order 1st in restaurant and so on...he is a gentleman out in public and at home..even holds the door open at home if we are going into the house at same time..we met through newspaper personal ads and i feel very lucky to have him in my life..before getting married i told him straight up marriage is a one time deal for me..his only escape would be death...lol...i asked him if he wanted to have a pre-nup and he said no..that just told me that he trusted andloves me and he will be here till we part this life\n\nso if ppl find it hard to believe you and your hubby are still in love and happy just assume they are jealous of what you have and what they dont have..i know it can happen\nand wish you well for another 50-60 yrs or however long you 2 live to be
571366
I understand. I don’t know what I’d do if I wasn’t married, but let me share some of the things I have learned in almost 20 years:\n\n1) Courtship is important. And long courtships are best. In our fast-paced world, especially as young adults, we are always rushing around. The best way to divorce-proof a marriage begins before you ever meet your mate-to-be, during the dating process. Serial dating, especially when it involves premarital sex, is a course in how to get divorced. We end up hooking up and then when things go sour we run away. Don’t get involved with someone who isn’t a friend. And date at least 2 – 3 years before getting married. That way you can get over the initial 18 month crush where everything about the other person is fascinating and the whole infatuated view of “The way you eat is so cute – it sounds like bells ringing,” to “If you clang your fork off of your teeth again I’m gojng to shove it through the back of your throat.” Not kidding – real conversation between my wife & I in the first year. I’m glad to say she never jammed the fork through my throat and I learned to use my lips as a cushion between my fork & teeth. \n\n2) Keep Christ at the center of your marriage. It seems obvious, but it is essential. Every time you notice that ring on your finger, pray for your spouse. It doesn't have to be long or even audible. Just a quick mental thanks to God for your mate, or a quick thought of, "God be with her/him." \n\n3) Love is NOT give and take. There is no take in love. Read 1 Cor. 13 (the love chapter). Love is giving. I give to my wife. She gives to me. If both are giving no one needs to take. Develop this mindset and remember that this is what marriage is meant for. Eph 5 takes a lot of heat for telling wives to submit to their husbands. But it also tells husbands to submit to their wives. Give + give = love. Give + take = selfishness = unhappy = divorce.\n\n4) Never use derogatory names for each other, even in fun. Husbands, if you call your wife "old lady" that is what you will see in her over time. I call my wife "my bride", especially when I am upset with her. That way I remember that wedding day, all those dreams, etc.\n\n5) When kids are involved it is easy to place them in front of your spouse. While time with kids is important & shouldn't be neglected, those kids will grow up & move out one day. Your mate will still be there and you'll need something else to talk about besides the kids. Make a habit of dating. Guys, even ask your wife out on a date. Arrange the babysitter. Often couples in church can provide a wonderful service for each other by trading Fridays (or whatever day is appropriate).\n\n6) Get to know and socialize with an older Christian couple or two who have a happy long-term marriage. Learn from how to treat each other from them. Remember that we all face similar adaptation issues when we are first married & they have worked those issues out. Talk with them about what they had to work out in either early married years and how they resolved things. This can be one of the biggest benefits you ever have, especially if you come from a divorced family or a family with strained relations.\n\n7) It may seem obvious but pray together. Have individual quite times, but have a shared quite time as well, at least once a week. And no matter how much you think it will hurt or bother your mate, talk. Holding it in doesn't make it go away - it only makes it fester until you explode all over each other. Talk and if agreement needs intervention, see your pastor or a Christian counselor.\n\nMarriage is very frightening - especially for those of us who came out of dysfunctional families. But the single biggest cause of dysfunction in my experience (and in my family) was selfishness. Give to each other & to the Lord, and you too can have a happy marriage. God bless you & best wishes!
217876
I agree with reality... It is generally because that person was there for them through many life changing experiences during that stage of life. They formed a bond by practically maturing together. And plus, chnaces are they spoke about what life wub be like together when they are grown and they want it to materialize. I think such relationships have the capacity to become purely friendship based but I know cases where the two remain in love, get married, have kids, the whole nine yards and are still lovers, not just friends.
540802
Hey, you have my name!  J/K, glad to see another believer has my name at least.  My thoughts and prayers for you are that you truly seek God's face during this time.  Getting married will not solve your fiance's situation.  In fact, it might compound it with the newness of marriage and everything sexual involved with it.  I commend him for his want to overcome his situation, and I truly believe he needs to seek Godly counseling through the pastor or another strong believer with experience in these areas.  You, also, should attend counseling.  Don't let co-dependency conform you to "accepting" his addiction because your love is all powerful.  It can happen and that I believe is not God's will.  We should love God first, and our spouse second.  In this be on your face seeking God's will for your life.  Another thing for your fiance to keep in mind is that he doesn't have to prove anything to God, God knows every hair on our heads, I would think he knows what is in the depths of each of our hearts too.  He really has to live a different life daily and dissociate himself from everything to date that has caused his situation.  Counseling, support and accountability are what he needs big time.  Prayers and love =)
123531
I am not sure that you comprehend what love is.  It is quite normal to develop feelings for other people and some of those people will be males of course and some of those feelings will go quite deep, but if you look upon another man and think you are in love with him it means that you do not know what love is hence other people can obtain the same level of feeling with you that you have with your husband and that is bad because sooner or later, when things are not going good in the marriage, you will develop a “the grass is greener on the other side of the fence” mentality and probably screw up the best opportunity you have for a marriage that will last you a life time.  Very rarely do second marriages last, unless they come because of the worst of circumstances, in other words the Lady has been Widowed.  It is just too easy to keep think that the Grass is greener when things get tough in a marriage.\n\nI would recommend spending more time with your husband and developing your relationship.  It sounds like you moved to fast to marriage and if you do not work on finding true love with him now; you might never have the chance.\n\nJohn B.
377551
Yes, reading through many of these questions (and answers as well) can make a person cynical.  Unfortunately, there's a lot of cluelessness---not only about making a commitment that will last, and putting in the effort, but also about what men and women need at the deepest levels.\n   But if you look around in the "real" world, not just on this site where so many problems are discussed, you'll find plenty of people still married, raising families, and then enjoying grandchildren.  I've found that it's best to make your closest friendships with people who are, like you seem to be, committed to keeping their marriages intact.
212469
In terms of stability, one of the most important things in any partnership is an underlying friendship. That is especially true in marriage. There is nothing that creates more stability in a marriage than for the partners to be best friends and to fully respect one another as such. Being lovers in addition is simply a bonus. =p
341269
Just because your marriage of 25 years is "ok" doesn't mean you can't have a strong attraction to someone you describe. People change throughout their lives and it sounds to me like you're gay.To reiterate, that you have spent a pleasant 25 years with your wife says no more than this time has been tolerable. If you're saying (sounds like you are) that you've been feeling earth shattering passion and obsession about your married friend, it's fairly obvious.
227347
Currently, you should concentrate on taking care of your children and keeping yourself healthy and your thinking rational.  If your husband has capital for business, talk to him and find out what he is doing to make money because you will need to know what resources he is working with whether you stay married to him or not.  Right now, you do not need to become entangled with another man, especially one you do not love.  The needs or your children and yourself should come first. You must take charge of your own life and stop depending on men to carry you. You do not need confusion.
630852
No, I don't think that's a selfish question. On the contrary, it sounds like you're afraid they'll be making a decision based on you instead of what they would want to do, which is sensitive of you.\n\nAnyway, I guess it's possible, but not necessarily true. The reason I say this is, that sadly that happens a lot. Married couples, as they get older, don't show affection as much, because they feel like it's 'known' how they feel, and then they may seem to argue, because they're still trying to iron out their differences. \n\nSo you could be right, but not necessarily.
88663
At times a good conversation about hopes and dreams is in order. What do both parties want out of the relationship. Are both parties happy? A younger child can bring added pressures and it affected me also for awhile. I found myself doing many of the same things for a few months. I was in a total culture shock and didn't know how to handle the situation. I am now still there for my wife and its lasted 5 good years and counting. I am now myself again and love the family life. I guess at times it takes som getting used to and others it doesnt work out for people. The situation needs to be addresses because it is unhealthy for both parties. You have needs and so does he. You all need to work things out or split apart and find happiness.
313373
Most people who are happily married do tend to gain weight.  It is kind of like the freshmen college weight gain most people experience.
91349
Your not weak. I have been married 20 yrs and have three kids. We have spent the last two years trying to make it work. It isn't, I also have trust issues. As of now we share the house and bills. It is whats best at the moment. Neither of us has anyone else, and financially this works. Who knows what the future holds. Someday I hope to meet someone but where I live it seems pretty unlikely. (remote area). Do what you think is best for your daughter.
389984
nothing but da problem is pple were expecting Brit 2 marry a wealthy n famous person of which she didn't so they r jealousy of K-Fed of course dis is pretty much straight forward isn't it. as 4 the divorce Brit was under pressure 2 do it from everyone including most of the pple who've just answered this question.