he has his own place 40 minutes away but has moved in with me.  doesn't help because he says "I still have my own bills too"         PLEASE HELP, im not sure what the proper thing to do is, I was married for years and never lived with anyone.  I am 37, and not used to this stuff.
137516
get him to sell his house or move back!
29838
I had the same problem with a guy that moved in with me. I wanted him to pay some rent to me, along with half utilities and groceries. It seemed only fair since with my school and work schedule he was there more than I was. He always complained and still does afterwards about how he paid part of my mortgage, but seriously, had he lived anywhere else he would have had to pay rent too. We ended up breaking up about a year later for various reasons, but the one thing I was definitely happy I did was to make him pay his way. Honestly, you should really look at it as a roommate situation and not a girlfriend situation. Would you let one of your friends live with you for free? Or even a complete stranger, which happens many times if you're looking for a roommate in a new city? Although I know my boyfriend at the time was a little resentful that I asked him to pay some rent to me, I'm glad I did. So yeah, I would talk to her and work out a reasonable payment she could make to you for rent, then still charge her for utilities. A good way to do it is to sit down and determine what kind of an income she will have and talk about a reasonable number that she will be able to afford without hating you later. As for her parents, they need to stay out of it. If they want their little girl to live somewhere for free, tell them to open up their basement to her. Shes a big girl, in or out of college, and it is about time they let her do her thing. And since it is your condo, they have absolutely no say in how much you charge her or for that matter any thing about your finances. Anyway, I hope you work it out. Good luck!
108944
I sort of agree with Big Ed...but you got some complications in this situation.\n\nAre you in agreement that all income is "Ours"?  Or is it that he puts in only a portion into the pot.  This is not good!\n\nI've shown people how to create a budget on a worksheet.  You can project into the future what your finances will be, and can budget your "play" money accordingly.  You are nervous because you don't really have a clue what is coming up.  By budgeting, it should help you out.\n\nDo a search on the internet for "budgeting" and get some ideas.  If you are still stumped send me an email and I'll show you how it's done.  \n\nThe fact that you now own your home indicated you are off to a good start.  Don't stumble now!
110270
You should leave him cause he does not have anything going on his life he has a lady paying for his stuff and might do the same thing to you...it's better off without him and find yourself a guy that has something going on
21224
Generally speaking, "moving in together" is a huge step.  And it hardly ever works when a total stranger picks up and moves in to your home "just to move in". If you are questioning what you should do, I think you are getting strange vibes from this guy.  He could be blowing hot air and just saying that he wants to come and see you. But it seems unusual that he's discussing moving in with you so early in your acquaintance.  If I were you I would let him know exactly how you feel. And if it comes down to it, I'd stop talking to him.
340557
Does he actually own the home and owe nothing on it? That's pretty unusual.  Even if he does, he still needs to pay taxes and utilities.  Of course you have to contribute.  However, you have only known him a few weeks, so if it were me, I would stay put.
425604
Try talking to him first if U havent already,both of you handle this right and you will be happy rather than a leach (lawyer).You may save enough to pay your bills with less stress.
84699
Well, conmsidering he is active duty you're either living in government housing or paying rent/mortgage out of his governemnt paycheck since he gets an allowance for housing right? Either way, he's responsible for the house, so technically he has every right to stay there and can order you to leave. I don't think the court will think that his divorce reason is valid if you 2 are still living together though.
459314
i think it is great you stay home to help out. plus most people our age and younger don't have that option to live at home! but your boyfriend, i wouldn't worry as long as he makes an effort to move out or puts money away to move out, or shows some sort clue that he doesn't want to live at home forever.
424612
Problem #1 - You argued so much about buying a home that you stopped talking about it.  This tells me you should not be buying a home together and perhaps shouldn't even be married unless you plan to get into some heavy-duty counseling.\n\nProblem #2 - You told him to go ahead and buy the house he likes.  That was childish because you did not mean it.  Never say something you do not mean.\n\nProblem #3 - He did it.  That was even more childish.  He should never have made such a decision without you, no matter how upset you were when you told him to do it.  Suppose you'd told him to "Go ahead and have an affair....?"\n\nProblem #4 - The house is in his name.  Of course it is.  He couldn't have put your name on the house without you signing anything.  Of course this means the mortgage is also in his name... and actually since the home was purchased during the course of your marriage, if you move into it, it's marital property considered to be the primary residence where you will cohabit, so you could divorce him and get half of that house in settlement no matter whose name it's in in most states so maybe that's not a problem.  If he dies, it should go to you, but I'd check that out too.\n\nProblem #5 - The biggest problem... is that this is no way for a married couple to behave.  This was a controlling and obnoxious thing for him to do and it sounds to me like you're married to a total jerk (no offense intended) and I rather doubt this is the ONLY controlling thing he's ever done.\n\nYou can always tell him "I said buy the house you like.  I never said I would live there with you" and leave.  Or, if you jointly own a house now, you can refuse to sign off on the sale of that home so he probably won't be ABLE to purchase this one and you'll still have the home in which you currently reside.\n\nIf you currently rent or whatever, then that won't work obviously... but I think you just need to seriously re-evaluate your selection of a mate or at minimum the way you interact together.  Sorry    :(
50593
If htey gave you the house and you are paying the notes, do you have a ocntract with them?  Has it been transferred to your name?  These are things you need to check out.  Sounds like they still own the house, and if so I would take my 842.00 and go elsewhere to live or have to put up with controlling in-laws and a nosey sister-in-law.
546152
Although technically, the previous answers are right ( you should pay your rent because of your contract etc), I would advise that you hold on to that rent payment and don't pay him! \nHe sounds like a bit of a rogue, and if he is a crook you won't be seeing the whole amount of your deposit returned (typically landlords like him make up reasons such as cleaning bills, delapidation etc in order to retain your money) \nYou're moving out at the end of December anyway and he has no power to just 'throw you out', he'd have to get an eviction notice and go through certain legal proceedures. The chances of him taking you to court are very slim, he would only do this if he thought you had caused damage to the property, but it sounds as though the property wasn't completely legal anyway (basic rights are to have a corgi certificate, working appliances etc)\nSo, I say sod him!! Good luck x
330398
...Is your gas and heat part of utilities addendum in your lease agreement?   If so asking the landlord to extract out a separate bill for just you would be discriminatory action against ALL the OTHER residents. He would be very reluctant to do that. Anything a landlord provides to one resident, he must be prepared to provide equally for all other residents.  For instance an announcement is attached to the office door/window for all to see...OR placed on all tenants doors. Time consuming for him to do.
52650
First of all you need to decide how long your going to support him? If he's not trying to better himself and your marriage then it's time to talk. Now days a couple can't make it on one income. I feel if your working he needs to take care of home. When did you become the maid? If he knew ahead of time you where moving he could of prepared better.
169884
both. he is emotionally abusive, and you don't need to put up with it.  find a friend or someone to stay with while you save money to get your own place. then if he changes, then keep your own place, and allow yourself to Maybe hang out at his place with him.  that way if he acts bad in any way you can leave and show him it's not a permitable activity
613670
Yeah, I can tell you why: it's her house, it's her rules. He's old enough to move out--and he should, before the two of you even think about living together. Maybe it's his mum's subtle way of cutitng the apron stings--figuring that if she sets these stringent rules, he'll get fed up and move out and start acting like the grownup that he should be. Does he pay her rent? Does he contribute to the bills? Does he help around the house? There's gotta be a really good reason why she treats him in this manner.
226788
looks like you ol' man became comfy with the situation.\nask yourself or ask him, What is his business plan and is it on track of the projections that were made. A fair way of doing it is split the bills in half, you have your money to do what you want, and he has his half of the responsibility and will need to step it up in his business venture.\nstarting a new business takes time, but there needs to be a line drawn as to what money is whose, if he gives you the are the bills paid crap next time you want to go out, tell him "yes my half are paid, you still need to pay your half"