im her best friend. but she wouldnt tell me whats wrong. and i just found out that she'd got dumped and i asked him why and he sed it wus cuz shes fat. n i wanna kick his a'ss .. but i wanna help her ;'[ i dont lyk seein her upset ;'[
124626
She probably is fat.  Tell her to lose weight.
652456
The last time I answered an "urgent" question, the questioner never came back to pick a Best Answer.\n\nBut, anyway, here goes...\n\nIf you're going to play that silly game of "I'm busy over here with my friends" then be prepared to suffer the consequences. Basically, you snubbed her a number of times and she ended doing a "f*ck you too, buddy" on you. Then you wonder why...\n\nWakey, wakey. If you're ever going to have a chance with this girl then you need to stop playing games and communicate with her normally, treat her with respect and just let it lie for now.\n\nIf this is how you typically behave then we now know why she dumped you.
516379
I just got over a relationship where my best friend (who was also his x girlfriend) and him kept staying friends. I didnt really let him know how much it bothered me, but now that i look back, it totally bothered me... and now that were not together, im so glad its over because that issue was so annoying, not worth dealing with. Tell him to loose her and if he can't, drop him!
257059
You most definitely did the right thing. After she gets help and cleans up she will eventually realize that you were looking out for her. I have been in a similar situation only I was in the position that your friend is in. I was furious at the friend that ratted me out and I reacted the same way. After I cleaned up my act and got counseling, I realized my life would have been ruined if it weren't for the one person that truly cared enough to tell someone so I could get help. Give her time and space and when she calls (and she will) just offer your friendship again and give her all of the love and support you can. Good luck!
252113
i was so unbelievably upset. i thought: how could they do this to me? i thought that they were my best friends. i talked to them and asked them why they did it. they gave a very stupid reason but i forgave them since i can't hold a grudge. a couple years later they backstabbed me again, they didn't even realize what they did wrong. those @ssholes!
420802
This is what she is affraid of. You are her best friend and she can't even talk to you because you haven't talked to her in almost a week. You just proved her point for her.My husband is my best friend. And back when he was just my best friend he told me that he thought we should try going out. We aready were going everywere together anyway. I turned him down also for the same reason I was afraid I would lose my best friend. Do you know what changed my mind. He looked at me and said o.k. can't blame me for trying. Now come out side and help me do the tune up on my car. By doing that by letting me see that he wasn't going to start acting wierd towards me. By just continuing to be himself around me. I realized that their wasn't anything to be scared of because my best friend would be there in this relationship with me.
630350
you should try to contact her and see what is wrong! she might just have been upset and she might regret it later!!\n\n\n                                                                 GOOD LUCK!!!
215137
Maybe you should try to wait for her, unless that will make you late for school. Just tell her what you are feeling, ask her why she is mad. If you guys are such good friends she will feel okay to answer you honestly. Try to listen to her feelings, and understand why she is feeling this way. Juat be honest with her.
628946
you shouldn't be disgusted about it... it was not her fault. imagine how horrible she feels that some one close to her, her own friend raped her! i think most of all you need to talk to her about it and try  to talk to her, comfort her and convince her to go and get her stuff checked out... she needs you right now, as a boyfriend and a friend... i think she would feel even worse than she does now if you dumped her over something she couldn't control.
162150
Wow, I'm SO PROUD OF YOU!  You are mature beyond your years!\n\nSometimes, we risk others being mad at us when we do things to help.  This is very serious, and you definitely did the right thing.  If she does find out, and gets mad, it will be hard for you, but not as hard, as you said, as if she were to seriously harm herself.  I hope you told an adult.  If it continues, and the adult doesn't do anything,  you need to keep trying until someone does help her. \n\nSomeday she will know that you were a true friend to her.  Hopefully, you won't have to deal with her anger.\n\nGOD Bless You!
282687
Talk to her and ask her why she dumped you.
446994
My sweetheart is in the same shoes but since i met him that way and began dating him that way I have accepted it but YES, it is the good thing to do to try and help the ones you love.  HOWEVER, overweight people are extremely sensitive about their weight and are very conscious indeed.  They are sensitive to people's piercing stares and inconsiderate comments.  Before you say anything, you must be aware of this sensitivity and DO NOT USE THE WORD FAT.  Try starting the conversation like "name of friend here, you have been a great friend to me and i really care about you.  I hope i have you in my life as a friend for a long time.  There is something that I am concerned about and wanted to talk with you about it though.  I noticed that you've put on some weight since college started...is everything ok...I think you are a beautiful person just the way you are and this has NOTHING TO DO with your LOOKS, but I am worried about your HEALTH.  I just want us to be friends for a long time to come.....is there anything I can do to help you?..."  Be supportive of her and let her know you are just trying o help.
425637
Explain to her what happened & why you didn't say anything. If you guys are really best friends, you'll get over it. Best wishes!
53975
She has a good friend. You're kind of in an awckward position to help an overweight friend. If you try to help her to get thinner, she might end up resenting you because she'll think you don't like her.\nRemember that being fat is not a body problem, it's an emotional problem. What you can help her the most is in raising her self-esteem while she remains fat. Tell her "it's Ok to be fat". Well, not in those words. Say "don't worry about what people say, people are very judgmental, and they don't understand that women have issues". Tell her "I don't think you hate your body because you're overweight, I think you have had emotions you haven't resolved yet". That sounds like psychobabble but it's pretty close to reality. You can probably find a better way to say it.\nIf you're just wishing she was thinner, and she's bringing you down emotionally, you need to think of yourself first, also. You might get to a point where you can't take it, and that is OK, you can take a break too.
83248
She's probably jealous of you, if I were you I would confront her. If she's a backstabber you have no friendship to lose. She's already ruined it.
329159
You obviously hurt her badly and it is taking her some time to get over that. Don't push her, try writing her a letter explaining the tough time you were having (I am sure she knows but tell her anyway) and apologise for what you did.  Tell her what your friendship meant to you, explain how you have changed and grown as a person and see what she says.  She may be too deeply hurt in which case you must let her go but at least you have told her why you behaved the way you did and she may come to understand that in time.
170453
I understand what your going thru. My best friend is doing the same thing to me. I called her in November to ask her if she wanted to go out for her b-day and she hasn't called me since. I did find out that she is getting married(through a mutual friend) I have no idea what's going on w/her either. Like an earlier answer said, I'm sure she is probably dealing with something in her life right now that she doesn't feel so great about. Maybe she feels too bad to talk to you about it? Maybe she thinks you'll judge her. I would just do what I did. I called my best friend a couple of weeks back and left her a message on her cell. I told her that I didn't know what was going on but I still loved her and cared about her very much. We've been friends for 13 years and I have never judged her for anything she has done in the past and she can come to me with anything. After you've done that, all you can do as back off and give her some space. If she's truly the friend that you think she is(and like I think my best friend is) she'll come around. Just let her know that you are worried about her and want to make sure she's ok. If she continues to be this way, maybe you're better off without her. That's what I've decided.