Ok so heres the deal: I have this amazing best friend whom I get along with wonderfully! We are like two peas in a pod basically...but the only problem is that I'm head-over-heels in love with him!! I dont even know how it happened; just one day I realized I couldn't ever be without him :) I have no idea if he feels the same way towards me because we act so much like a "couple" already because we're super close friends. I know that he loves me as a friend, but I'm not sure about the whole romantic aspect. What can I do to move our relationship into more than "best'friend mode"? Any advice?
135174
Be honest, talk to him and get it over with. I know it will be devastating if he says no to romance, but you can not continue like this anyway. Have mercy on yourself, you need to move on.
293347
Hi! That happened to me before, my male bestfriend was falling in love with me, everyone in our group knows about it and advising me that it would be better to have a boyfriend from the bestfriend level as it always works. But I kind of aloof everytime I know he might ask me a question, or something as I only want to remain friends. Because what I believe before, if we became boyfriends/girlfriends and split up, we might never be friends again, and I like having him as my best friend. I was a teenager back then. Now i'm 30 and he's now married. And I'm still single.\n\nLet her know how you feel when she's no longer in a relationship. Or if you can't wait that long, let her know now, who knows. She might be open minded about it and let you know how she feels for you.\n\nCheers!\n\nMitch
444922
I wouldn't make a move on my best friend without being 100% sure he feels the same thing. You might be risking a lot if u tell him and he doesnt feel the same. \n\nSo i'd say if u like other guy start from there... maybe it works with that guy and u forget about ur best friend... if it doesnt work then just wait u have something more concrete before telling anything to yur best friend.
121460
i was in love with my bestest friend in the whole world.  in fact, i think i'll always love him to a certain degree.  i took a chance and told him how i felt, because hiding my true feelings felt like i was constantly living a lie.  unfortunately, like your friend, he didn't want to risk losing me since he knew he couldn't give me the kind of commitment i needed.  \n\nit's been over 3 years since my revelation (we've been best friends for over 5), and i've learned to move on.  in the years that followed, i slowly was able to tell him exactly how i felt and why, and also get the answers to questions he left unanswered for so long.  i know he loves me, that we'll always be constants in each other lives, and will most likely grow old together... but maybe just not as husband and wife.  and you know, what?  it's actually all right!\n\nlooking back, i don't think i would've done anything differently... even if we didn't end up together.  i told him what i needed to tell him, and never imposed a relationship on him.  suffering in silence, how i did before i revealed myself, and how i did even after that, was much much too painful... especially because he shared the most intimate details of his life with me.\n\njust do what you think you have to do.  if he doesn't reciprocate your feelings, then maybe he's not good enough for you.  i've always thought that my guy never really appreciated what was right in front of him, and maybe he's really not worth giving my heart to in the first place.  the right one will come along eventually.  hopefully, your friend is really the right one for you!\n\nif he's the right one, then he'll take the leap with you, and if he's not, at least you gave it your best shot.
208960
Well how do you feel about her?  Do you like her a lot?\nDo you have fun together?  Do you confide in each other?  \nThese are some of the things that equal a best friend.  And if you want her to be your best friend, than you need to be her best friend as well. Then to be sure, you can just ask her...and she will tell you the truth!   :)
198312
i think you should take the risk...i started going out with one of my good friends, and we ended up falling in love.  since you guys started out as good friends, i think no matter what happens you'll always be close.  who knows, maybe he'll be your true love
247975
sorry 2 hear tht... yeah i saw ur other questions about ths guy b4. actually i also experienced ths kinda situation b4. at first, i was really good friend with ths grl & passed 2 funfull yrs until i found out tht i love her. and i had hint tht she loved me too. but other things came up i couldn't give her a chance 2 express herself. but whn i expressed myself, she rejected saying tht she never felt like ths towards me, which's a lie. also all on a sudden she hooked up with some1 else to take myself off her mind & replace me with him. the most shocking part is, being heartbroken i still tried to be her friend but slowly she made a distance between us & destroyed our beautiful friendship.\n\nmy point is, affection towards a friend happens all the time. but there r some issues involved regarding friendship, other ppl around u etc. as a friend, u were suppose 2 knw tht he already has a gf. but u didn't, which is not usual. so mayb he doesn't hav any gf & story of having a gf is the most reasonable way to dump u with hurting u less. and don't bother if he doesn't like u or not. if he didn't like u, u wouldn't be yur friend. but it can be true tht he's not feeling attracted 2 u as he told u. tht doesn't mean tht u r not attractive or he doesn't like u. there can be a lot of different reasons involved regarding friendship or something else.\n\nfrom my opinion, look into yur heart. if u think tht u really want him & u knw tht he has actually feelings for u thn stick 2gether & mayb someday things'll work out. but the downside is u donno if thts gonna happen. so there's a chance to get heartbroken again frm the same person for the same reason. on the other hand, continue being friend & move on, find another guy who understands u & doesn't hurt u like ths. but whtever happens, yur friendship wth ths guy will not gonna be same frm now on.\n\nhope ths works. feeling sorry 4 u!
214708
I think that deep down that you truly love each other and want to be with each other.. just give it a shot.. your best friends already.. so go for it!
177429
don't rush it, and follow that..Sounds like you two are already best friends.. I can tell you from experience that opposites attract but almost NEVER stay together. Best friends 99% of the time make best lovers..these relationships go WAY farther than the other if they click. Seriously.. Who would you rather spend life with?.. a best friend or something else..follow this until it plays out.. you never know.. you may wake up side by side 60 years later and say..I love yous
201844
This is a tough one......Ok you said you like your boyfriend but have fallen in love with his/your best friend. If it is love and I mean real love then you should not have to question what you should do. You just need to talk to your best friend one on one and see if it is really what you think it is.
295415
Single is good for awhile. My guy friend reminded me of the concept of "dating". You are going back out into the social scene and just meeting new people. Forming a friendship is the most healthy way to building a romantic relationship. Your giving yourself and your friend, time to really honestly, get to know each other inside and out. Jumping in is never healthy. If your jumping in for the wrong reasons (lonliness, a "need" for a mate), then you will soon find your relationship ending in a firey crash and burn. Practice patience with your new friend. It's ok to be attracted to him/her but keep a level head and don't let your emotions rule your decisions. I am experiencing this very phenomena about building a friendship first. Together, we are keeping level heads, (even though he is just so dang hot), and it is much more fulfilling and healthy, than any relationship I've had before. The communication is great, we understand and accept where we stand with each other, and we're keeping the door open for the possibility of a wonderful, romantic, relationship to develop. I admit, it's not easy. I am still learning the whole patience thing myself. But this is so good, and healthy. I wish you luck, and hope that you will not jump in to something out of desparation. Be positive, be patient, and ask God to help. God Bless you friend.
257208
Mel, \nI went over both of your questions and am wondering if you left out some important details that we may be able to work off of?  It is rather odd for someone who is a best friend to up and leave you alone and to try to avoid you for no reason.  Could he have become enamorate of you and is trying to avoid you as he doesn't want to ruin the friendship and doesn't know how to address this situation with you?  Just a thought as it is the only reason for this from a male best friend.
53944
I've come to realize that this is the biggest, most unrecognized quandary in dating that I know of:\n\n*** Almost everyone universally agrees that people should be friends before being romantic.\n\n*** And almost everyone universally agrees that love can hapen when you least expect it.\n\nYet....everyone has that deer-in-the-headlights- look when someone, who is a friend, falls in love with them!\n\nlol\n\nIs like the most natural thing that can happen!.....yet no one seems to realize this.\n\n\nDear one...you are probably a very likable, easy-going, appealing to the eye, and of such good hearted type person that the guys can't help but adore you for your qualities. \n\nIt's a natural thing to have happen!\n\nYou're just being yourself...which is the advice I give on here over and over and over and over again.....cuz it's true!  ....lol. Being yourself, being relaxed, being happy, fun, funny, intelligent, caring, and on and on is a sugary spice that cannot help but attract.\n\nYou just unwittingly have done this, and it has done what it DOES.....it worked!\n\nNow, along with this you have to *continue* being a friend to your *friends* and tel them how *you* feel. You can't love everyone....lol. So, you can choose whom you'd like to hang with and try and caringly explain to the others that you love them as a friend....but no more.\n\nThey may be hurt, or disappointed, but that's OK! It happens, and if you do it as a friend, with concern for *them* and their feelings, you will indeed minimize their hurt, and later when they get past it all, they will love you more for having ben such a good person and sweet friend.\n\nA friend we should all be so lucky to have in this world.\n\nYou are rich.....and this is exactly what people mean whe they say....you are rich when you are a good person to them.\n\nNow....go do what you need to do, and I hope all goes well for you.\n\n:)
356750
I think you should do what your heart says. If it is telling you that you love this guy, not a little middle school or high school crush, but actually love the guy, its a tough decision. I was in the same position about 4 months ago, but luckily it worked out for me, my friend did get over my now boyfriend. But I had to sit down and have a talk with her. I actually asked her permission to date him. I didnt want to lose a friend over a guy. It can work, and if she says its ok, then she would have no reason to be angry, but if she says no, she doesnt want you to, then just think of how akward it would be to go out with him? she would always be angry, and it would hurt her alot. What if she made a move for him without talking to u? wouldn't that hurt you? Talk to her, and really consider what you say, how you say it, and listen to what she has to say. do it when things are not rocky, or else it will go horribly wrong. It sounds to me like you two need to talk it out, and if necesary, not have either of you date him. it is weird for a while...trust me. and if she says its ok, then it may be akward for a while, but eventually she will be ok with it unless she really does like that guy. And also be sure this guy is really worth it. Trust me, if its a crush, it could ruin both friendships. just have one on one time with him and talk things out with him too. remember, comunication is key. without it, it can all splash in your face. and listening to how ur friend feels is always important, so dont blow it off, or she will be very upset. more than if u hadn't asked her in the first place. just talk to each of them one on one, get a perspective from both of them, and be sure this guy is worth it and make sure he isnt best as a best friend...make sure u want to take it to the next level. who knows, maybe u guys can be as cute of a couple as everyone claims me and my bf is...and one more thing, GOOD LUCK!!! :)
318548
i was in the same situation u are a few yrs ago. i went ahead and told her. and to my surprise she agreed. we dated, we fell in love, we are getting engaged in december.\n\nu need to lose ur fear and tell him exactly how u feel. if hes really ur best friend, he will understand. and its possible he has feelings for you too. good luck. TELL HIM!!!
104694
It depends on you... what you would want to happen? \n\nThere are 2 options:\n\n1. If you really want to be have a love relationship with your best friend and he/she is still single then of course the best way is to let him/her knows about your feeling. But mind you, he/she might get scared by your sudden confession. Remember to give him/her some time to think about it and comes out with a good conclusion for both of you.\n\n2. But if he/she already have a partner in life, then I suggest that you shd keep the feelings to yourself in order not to hurt your relationship with your best friend.\n\nSo, good luck!
552100
Well, this seems to be a tricky situation. I have been in a similar, yet not so intimate situation, with another friend. Now let me tell you what I did to solve the situation. This answer may give you an idea as to what your next step should be. \nI didn't feel the same way because I thought it was forced. I love my friend in lots of ways but when it feels forced then it is hard to get past the idea that we are not friends. At that time I felt uncomfortable. He likes me still. But I told him that we could just be friends. Now we are still friends and we're glad for it. Sometimes the timing may not be right or she feels it is forced. At this moment cherish the fact that you guys are friends. When the time feels right she will automatically open up to you. At that time, it will not feel forced and you will not have lost a good friend. Remember people feel uncomfortable and forced in many different ways.\nSee, differences between individuals are evident in any relationship, but it is how one handles those differences within the relationship that matters. Are you willing to lose a good friend over your desire for it to be more than that? Decision is up to you.