I met this rachel thru a dating site. She had been hurt in the past and she was venturing out again into the dating scene after a 7yr relationship and two children. I promised her i would never leave her. For 4 months we never rowed or had raised words. Her ex was always on the scene but as she was so bitter to him she will never go back. She took me to one side and told me she loves me so much that she does not want me to get upset and envolved with her. At one point previous to this she asked me to marry her, Having come from one marriage i was retisant but as i have so much love for her i decided to go for it. She then after lots of coxing from me finally admitted that she felt i had taken her for granted. Is there any way to get her to realise that if i did do this it was only because i felt secure with her but also many things have happened this last year including my brother passing away? i just feel so depressed because even now she says we cant go back as she feels it will agai
122677
SOMETIMES WHEN A RELATIONSHIP REACHES A POINT, THERE IS NO TURNING AROUND.  YOU JUST HAVE TO KNOW YOU WANT THIS AND FORGET THE PAST AND MAKE A COMMITMENT TO MAKE IT WORK.  JUST FORGET ALL THE MUMBO JUMBO AND START FRESH.  DON'T WORRY ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED THEN, LIVE IN THE NOW.  IF YOU CAN'T STOP FOCUSING ON WHAT HAPPENED IN THE PAST, IT WILL NEVER WORK.  AND IT IS POSSIBLE TO START NEW WITH A RELATIONSHIP.  I SPEAK 100% FROM EXPERIENCE.  I KNOW THIS IS A DIFFERENT SITUATION,  BUT LISTEN TO MY ADVICE.  IT WORKS.  JUST ASK HER IF SHE WANTS THIS OR NOT.  IF SHE HAS ANY DOUBTS, THEN SHE DOESN'T.  SHE MIGHT EVEN NEED SOME TIME JUST TO SORT THINGS OUT.  SIT DOWN AND HAVE A NICE LONG TALK TO HER AND DON'T BRING UP THE PAST; ONLY THE NOW AND THE FUTURE.  GOOD LUCK.  IF SHE LOVES YOU, SHE'LL STICK WITH YOU.
425457
Honey, You no in your heart what she is doing to you. I no it hurts and the whole thing sucks but we all been through it.It's right there in our face and we refuse  to see it.If you keep after her she will tell you point blank that she doesn't love you any more and she has been seeing her ex for awhile now.Don 't let her do that to you,beat her to the punch.Tell her you don't care what she does because you have been seeing someone for over 6 months now and you love her.I no you won't take my advise. You don't no me but I am giving you good advise so please take it. I hope everything works out for you.If the pain gets to hard for you, don't think about tomorrow take it a minute at a time or a hour what ever it takes. Don't let this girl get the best of you.
546362
Life seems terrible like that sometimes. I think you should face your fears & confront her. Tell he what you feel now & ask her if she feels the same or if there ever will be a chance of that happening. 1 of 2 things will happen if you do that.. yo might get lucky where she accepts your proposal or you may not be lucky where she will reject you. either way you will have a guaranteed answer without a loose end to haunt you for the rest of your life.\n\nIf you dont confront her, you wont know if there was ever a chance or if she simply didn't want to be with you. In this case you will forever be haunted by the questions beginning with 'what if..'.\nFurther more you would have created that pain all on your own from self-pity & disappointment in self pride as a man.\n\n\n...I've said my say now its time for you to do what you think is best for YOU.\n\nAnd finally.. if you do decide not to confront her & you find yourself losing her in time & space. Your only option will be to force yourself to forget her otherwise the pain will eat at you forever. How do you forget? Change your lifestyle & meet new people & create opportunities for yourself to fall in love with someone new.
417430
we meet new people everyday.and someone affects us in someway.we cant fight it.we are humans.not God.I guess, being in love with your current girl is not everything it is in the relationship.maybe you have longed for more and you never realised it.probably,this girl you just met made you to feel much better, someway.perhaps this is how you wanted to feel or to be treated.7 years of a relationship is very long.and it started when you were a teen.hats off to you, but now you are saying that this girl makes you to feel special.means that you are being appreciated.maybe this is what you expected from your gf. you never had it.there's no growth in your relationship.you guys have stopped explaoring each orther.maybe she thinks she knows in and out of you.but you know there's more.more about you. be frank about your feelings to your gf.she deserves to know on how you are feeling about the relationship.maybe she has an answer too.
232471
It sounds like she might have something for you. But until you ask, you'll never know. Start off slow, and ask her if she's ready for a relationship. If she says no, leave things alone. If she asks why, tell her you were just wondering. If she says yes, ask her out. If she says she wants a relationship with you, tell her glad you are, and how good it makes you feel. Noone can answer the question to wether or not your just used to having a companion around, and that's why you miss her, or whether or not you love her and she loves you. You'll just have to ask. But before you jump into things, stop and think about how it is you really feel, and make sure you really do want her back, and that she wants you back.
526308
I agree with that saying... try it. It happened to me... I was the one that was left. It really hurt me, but she was  going through a lot and when she came back she told me she couldnt live without me. Give things some time and see what happens. Give her some space and give yourself space. You know, you dont have to date anyone just because you arent with her... you can be alone. I would be alone right now and just see what happens!
617747
Yes! it sounds to me like you two are definatly in love. and if she didn't give you a good enough reason, like "i met someone else or i want to explore my options" then i think she still loves you, it is just too painful for her to be apart for so long. so i think you need to talk to her. dont just go over there and pop the question right away. but talk to her, make her fall in love with you again and then tell her you need her and that you two need to spend the rest of you lives together...then... "will you marry me?"
166972
So sorry for what you are going through... She should have remembered her vows and stood strong for you while you are away.  If someone vows to love, honor, and cherish you until death and they try to find someone else while you're away, you are better off without her.  I know it will hurt and in time you will hopefully heal and find a great woman. Good luck to you.
527791
honey I so feel your pain. I want to give you some advice and please read carefully. Do not waste one more moment of your life fretting over this woman. This situation will always be a thorn in your side if you let it. DONT LET IT. You said your not a hateful person but if you let it this or she will make you one. Trust me I have been married to a man for 10 years and his ex is the beast master GOG OF MAGOG.I finally had to let it go but it just about ate me alive before I realized. I became bitter, hateful, obsessed, you name it. It will hurt no one but you.
186796
There's definitely something going on and I'm sorry to say but she's no good for you. Obviously she's not really caring about how you feel about anything and is using you for financial support. And if she really loved you, she wouldn't get mad about you confiding in your brother. At least you didn't confide in another woman's vagina...for crying out loud. You have your freedom to do confide in anyone you want. Not only is she restricting you but she's also using you. You need to step back and re-examine your true feelings for her. Perhaps you're just in a comfort zone and that's why you want her back. Agree on the break and go out and clear your head. I'm sure that you'll find what you really want...listen to you heart. It knows exactly what it wants...are you listening?
608486
Sad to hear this. I know the feeling of giving your all to that one girl you truly love. I believe you that it is far more than sex...it's love and companionship. It's that wonderful feeling that you have when you're with her whether in silence or not. The sad part is that she avoids discussing things to questions you deserve answers to.\n\nAt your age, I bet the feeling must be harder. I don't think no answer can quench your thirst but her honesty to why things can't be the same again.\n\nWhen did things started to change? Look back to what you might have done wrong or probably she is not really serious about spending her life with you.  A lot of times, we got to accept the hard facts that things are beyond our control and we have no choice but to accept and move on. \n\nWhat can we do with the pain but acknowledge it and eventually accept and carry on with our lives. Things might not be the same again but surely one day, you'll fall in love over again when you least expect. \n\nGood luck. This stage is hard but things will change, don't let this destroy your life.
164139
Even if she wanted the divorce and she no longer loves him, (which is unlikely because you can not turn off all your feeling that quickly) she probably is not ready to date.  There is a lot of remorse and even more guilt that goes along with asking for a divorce.  Even though she may have wanted it she still has to mourn the loss of what was and what might have been. Then she needs time to heal and to totally let go as well as time to work through the guilt and begin to build up her confidence again.  Don't rush her, you do not want to encourage her before she is ready and before she has moved through the recovery steps.  She may need somewhere between 4-7 years.  i know it sounds like a long time, but unless you have been through a divorce yourself you can not know all that is involved and it doesn't matter who wanted it it just takes time.
57967
I have never had this personally happen to me, but if I were you I would ask myself this "If she left you in a desperate time of need is she really worth wanting back"? To me it seems as if you left you when things got too hard for her. Not really keeping your feelings in mind. Kinda seems selfish. \nNow I am a outside party and I dont know how bad your depression got. Some people can handle situations such as this others just dont know what to do.\nI am truly sorry for your loss.
566332
You need to use this time for reflection, love does not disappear that easy! Communication is the key, maybe she is afraid, the best thing you can do is show her that you support her and care. Take it slow and both of you need to rememer the things that brought you together in the first place. If after all this she still does not want to marry, LET GO...
576923
I lost my wife, loved her with all my heart, loved her enough to understand that by trying to keep her in a relationship she did not any longer desire then any relationship we continued would only be empty and non fulfilling for us both how could she be happy if she was forced to stay on account of my feelings alone?? how could i be happy if the love i had for her would never again be reciprocated??   I walked away . I have still not recovered fully  she was my soul mate yet to hope that we could some day find happiness again I had to let her go.\n\nBy the way I did not cheat or abused her after 12 years of being together  things changed and she  had the courage to tell me she no longer was in love knowing how deeply I still loved her .
564574
Move on. \nYou may love her but she doesn't reciprocate your feelings. No matter what you do or say, she is the only one responsible for her feelings. So you cannot change them. You are the one who will end up getting hurt in the end.\nThere is someone out there for each of us. So, instead of getting caught up in the time-wasting efforts of trying to convince her that she can't live without you (when quite obviously she can), let her go. Mourn the loss of your relationship and live your life.\nLove will find you. Whether she comes back and turns out to be the true love of your life or whether it's someone you haven't even met yet. Love has an annoying way of showing up when you least expect it.  \nYou'll be fine. Just let go.
645262
I think you should truly figure out if she is what you want because no ones heart is a game.  I know you have been through it with her but you have allot of time and a family invested with her.  I also don't think its fare to play with any ones feelings.  I have also been in many relationships but never felt they way I feel when I'm with one person.  I believe true love only comes around once and I will never feel that way again.