I have been dating a man for over a year and I love him.  I think about him all the time, and write him love letters.  Sometimes when I am in a bad mood, I take it out on him.  When we talk on the phone, I am mean to him and say things that hurt his feelings.  I keep pushing him away and I don't know why. What does this mean and how can I fix it?
135546
Probally cause you have a anger and control problem, before you loose him I would consider going to the people who can help you deal with this and get some counseling. Onedeay he may get tired of your crap and leave you, then you will be misserable.
300357
Honey, I know what you're saying. My ex does the same to me. One day, he's the best thing you could ask for, the next he's unbearably mean. On a good day, I accept that we've had a good day. On the bad, I hope the next will be better. Don't call him for a few days and see the change in his attitude. He's gonna treat you like dirt as long as he knows you're waiting for him.
234127
If you feel that way then it's not a healthy relationship and you should dump him. Love should make you feel like you'll burst from happiness. If it doesn't feel right it's not. Maybe one or both of you is/are suffering from depression. Maybe he has no respect for you. Is he Physically or verbaly abusive? If he is he won't let you go that easy. There could be lots of reasons for your feelings. You deserve happiness and should keep looking for it. Close this chapter of your life. Move on. Avoid guys like your boyfriend that make you unhappy.
148766
It sounds like he is suffering from strong feelings of inadaquacy. This ex wife has beat the self confidence out of him. He is not sure that you really want him. That is why he consistantly gives up then starts back up after you call. He can't see beyond where he is. He doesn't complain because he is, first of all, not a whiner. Second of all, he feels as if he has little enough to entice you so complaining would only make you feel less interested in continuing the relationship.\n\nI believe very strongly in situations of this gravity, writing him a short letter is the best thing you can do. Something he can look at when he starts feeling alone in this great big world. \n\nI'm not talking about a "how are you today" letter. He needs a letter about you. He knows how he feels. He needs desperately to know how you feel. To know that you understand. To know that you tingle inside when the phone rings, thinking it might be him. That you want to wrap yourself around his voice when he speaks and ward off any thing that could challenge him until he is able to regain the strength to do it himself.\n\nWe men, in general, feel it is our responsibility to always be strong. To be the "protector of the weaker sex" Well, it is time to turn that around because tonight, the man is the weaker sex. And as for you, well, you will be providing the strength. It's only fair. After all, you do get butterflies thinking about him, don't you? And, I'm sure you have wanted to hold him in your arms until his pain, which he can almost hide from you, went away. \n\nIt will take a lot for you to be the hero here. If it didn't scare you, there would be no need for you to be brave. You are the only person in the world that can pull him out of this. In his mind, anyway. Don't let him down... don't let yourself down.
453704
this reminds me of my relationship.. it's hectic. give him some time.. you already apologized to him. Tell him to call you whenever he feels like talking to you. GIve him some time you already said sorry so that's good that you've accepted your error.. but yea goodluck... try not to disrespect each other.. once you disrespect each other then it's really hard to work things out... and remember everyone has arguments... just be straight foward with him and tell him that you already apologized to him and to please not be in a bad mood... communication is the key! goodluck hopefully he's not moody anymore... and ask him why he's moody maybe something else was making him moody :P
11339
Oh my......stop sending him all those things!\n\nYou're coming on too strong I think. His lack of response tells me that he's not quite on the same loop you are, and if he was, he may be backing off because you are flooding him with to much to quickly.\n\nI know you have a lot of wonderful, warm, euphoric feelings for this person, but releasing all upon him like this is not the ay to express it. I know it's real hard NOT to do, but you must try.\n\nI truly don't know why we react that way, but when a woman comes at us full bore like a bull in a china shop we shut right down. Most of us do anyway......\n\nGive him some time to absorb everything. I hate to say it, but he may not feel the way you do. He may only think of you as a friend. You run a great risk of being hurt!  :(\n\nOn the other hand....he may, indeed, feel as you do, but may not know how to respond to being inundated with all your emotions. This is a learning time for him...and you too.\n\nHave you ever heard of people that should channel their anger?\n\nWell...this is no different really. Your emotion is love....and it can come flooding and be overwhelming like anger can. So...try and channel it in the right way. Be gentle.....and try and figure out when the right times are to show it. I know....easier said than done. But try.....talk to him. Spend time with him. Be around him. Don't overdo it.....plant the seeds, and hang around and nurture them so they can blossom into a nice, wonderful love for you, and he.      :)\n\nGood luck to you...I hope it all works out for you!
145231
Get him alone, get his number, give him yours, tell him you have something you would like to get off your chest.  More importantly though, make sure you're not confusing "like" with "love".  People throw this word around "love" without really knowing what it means.  He's had feelings for you before, does he have these feelings for you now?  Don't set yourself up to get disappointed or worse yet hurt.  If you've made up your mind, and it's truly coming from the heart then let him know.  Good luck!
235935
i don't think he is serious about the relationship and like you said, you may just be there for convenience. if you have been together for 2 months and he is making you feel insecure and physically sick, then i can't think for the life of me why you would stay?\n\nmaking plans and doing things together are the normal thing couples do. you making plans to spend time and him not acknowledging or remembering is a sure indication that he isn't too keen on you. I'm sorry if that sounds cruel or hurtful, but it is an honest opinion from a guy.\n\nhim going off on the weekends and being you put off the phone is a sure indication that it's time to call it quits.  leave before your pain becomes unbearable. have faith in yourself and find someone who deserves your love!!\n\nany guy can talk sweet but if he doesn't follow words with action, then i thinking he is whispering sweet nothings into your ear. stop listening to him and move on, girl! life is too short to waste love on a person that doesn't give back.
130572
I think all guys act like that sometimes.  Men might not be as in "in touch" with sharing their feelings.  I guess is this silent response a new thing? or old?   I think you should find a neutral spot and time to talk to him.  Maybe when you are in the car driving somewhere say  " Hey i somethings been bothering me...or hey I want to talk to you about something, can we talk about it now...and if not when would be a good time."  After you schedule your appointment, tell him what is going on, and how you feel Try not to talk his head off, give him the short story of it all, and see what he says. Only he really knows why he is acting that way. But you have been together for 3 years, so im guessing  he is invested in you and the relationship otherwise he wouldnt be there.
213850
you will eventually get to where they don't bother you. trust me love is worth a little irritation.every once in a while when you are feeling a little irritable.those little things that bug you now will make you positively bitchy. don't worry no matter who your with they are gonna do something that bugs you. if you love this guy. show him you want him even though he can drive you bananas sometimes.
482485
Don't call him. let him call you.  email maybe once or text but don't call. after he gets the note from you, he will call you back if he wants to talk to you.\n\nhmm... but why can't you still talk on the phone?\n\ni'm sorry but if he is so singleminded that he cannot conduct buisness and a relationship then i don't see you beng involved very long.\n\nsounds like he's trying to break up, but  just because that happened to someone i know doesn't mean it's happening to you.
144082
from the sounds of it he's just saying things to make you feel better, but then goes back against them.  maybe it just makes him insecure to realize that you can go out and do everything, and then what do you need him for? \nbut more likely it's putting up a false front, then cutting it out from under you to make you more dependant upon him.  he likes his cozy little life of having you do everything for him.  if he has the time to pester you about things he wants done, then he has time to do them himself.\nhe might not realize what he's doing, but the first step in this is to ask him about it.  if you are scared of the outcome of having a serious discussion with him about the relationship, then there are definatly some major problems with it...
619615
Are you trying to talk and he is not interested?  Is it a comfortable silence where you are just content to be together and possibly know each others thoughts?  Do you want to break up, but are waiting for him to make the move or do you want to stay together and are worried he already left so you are afraid to put yourself out on a limb and reach out to him - maybe this is what he is waiting for?  Is there other demands on his or your time that limit the time to talk?\nIt may be a sign of breaking up, a sign that more effort is required, or that you are comfortable enough not to have to talk all the time.  I am sure these are the things you are already thinking, but only you and he can decide if it is over or if you want it to be over as we don't know the personality quirks of either of you.  If the communication is so bad that you cannot ask him then I guess it is over or never was.
19063
perhaps you should stop reading things into it, don't try to figure out what he's thinking.  Come straight out and be honest with him, "look, I said those things because I was confused.  I feel foolish, and you may not want to hear it, but the truth is that..."  if he is any kind of a man, he will hear you out.  Don't play games, if he is worth fighting for, be straightforward.  He heard what you told him and he took you seriously.  Don't try to "make him call", just seize the opportunity and do so yourself.  If he accepts an intelligent whole-hearted apology and he feels the same, it was meant to be.  Next time, don't be so impulsive!
282294
You may be drifting apart or his work is tiring him out and he de stresses at the Gym. You could go to the Gym with him? If he is not interested in this idea then ask him what else you two can do together, if he has no suggestions then you suggest something,  he may be phoning nightly as he could think you are no longer interested, you could also try the direct approach and ask him what his feelings are. if he still says he loves you then tell him that you feel neglected and what to spend more time with him
162035
You're right to feel like that. I would feel the same in this case. It would be better if you CLEARLY explain to your boyfriend that this REALLY BOTHERS you. Ask him how would he feel if he was in your shoes.Try to be persistent in what you are asking. Tell him that this is damaging your relationship and that you don't feel OK this way. If he REALLY LOVES YOU, he will cut off these phone calls. I hope it works!
495947
Interesting.  I just broke up with my stubborn boyfriend who also is very mean when he drinks.  Although he is one stubborn guy, he acknowleged that he was a person he didn't want to be when he drinks.  He made a big effort to cut back, at least around me, and it did help.  I think it says a lot about your relationship if he isn't willing to at least TRY to cut back.  It's not like you are asking him to stop having a good time, if he's mean, that is just not okay and it shouldn't be accepted.  I'd suggest talking to a couples counselor.