I am a gay 21 years old, about to turn 22, I have never been in a relationship.\n\nNow obviously I wouldn't expect to, nor would I want to find a partner with all of the qualities mentioned in my question, but I would require at least some, for example I couldn't date a non-vegan or someone who drinks regularly or smokes at all.\n\nI grew up with Christian values and even though I am now an atheist, it has shaped some of my morals, for example, I believe you should be in love before having sex and I am sure it would take least a month or two before before such a thing could be determined.\n\nPolitically I am neither ultra-liberal, nor ultra-conservative. Most people are probably similar, but my impression is that in the gay, and vegan communities, there's a very strong liberal bias. I want to transcend such onesidedness.\n\nSo where the hell should I start looking? I honestly believe that my values are so eccentric that I have little chance of ever finding what I desire.\n\nThank you.
135488
You sound absolutely divine to me.  If you were straight, I'd chase you down like the meat-free hottie you are.  You are not eccentric.  Listen, I know several gay men with values similar to yours.  My advice?  Move to a university town with a diverse, cosmopolitan community of people.  Take salsa classes.  Join a animal rights group.  Attend a Unitarian Universalist church.  You will find men like yourself, I promise.  Just be firm in your beliefs, never compromise yourself, and trust that the right man will enter your life.  Believe me: He is out there and he probably feels just as isolated as you do.  Good luck.
70347
The key here is how you said immorality.  Not a little more open minded than you or less inhibited,  but immoral.  I don't like people that have no morals, they remind  me of goats in heat and about as attractive.  Be very careful, you said yourself its  a warning.Common sense isn't a lot of fun until you maybe realize it could have saved you a lifetime of heartache maybe!  Hope you meet someone with standards that you deserve.!
231518
Maybe not the best place to ask for non glib answers...\n\nWell, firstly you'd need do your research for yourself, if the bible defeniately says, in your opinion, that it's wrong to act on those desires.  It also might be important to think about whether it says it's wrong to be gay, ir just wrong to act on it.\n\nIf you believe it says it's wrong to act on gay feelings, and you are a committed Christian, then I guess you will have to stick with it, and try to get some proper help on how to deal with the feelings you have.  \n\nDon't run out and marry someone though.  No point pretending to like women in that way if you don't.  You'll just have to go without sex.  There are worse things that could happen you know.\n\nYou can't fit religion around what you feel like doing.\n\nWhich is one reason why I'm not religious.\n\nAnd i'd like to add...the bible may mention that it's wrong to have gay sex, but the ten commandments says you can't lie, and how many people go around lying without getting hassled by supposed forgiving chritians for it.  It's a rather hypocritical subject really that gets blown out of proportion.\n\nOne of the postings above had this to say of those with gay feelings..\n\n"They must be accepted with respect, compassion, and sensitivity. Every sign of unjust discrimination in their regard should be avoided"  \n\nAnd good christians could do well to remember this.
545265
At 13.5 you may like this today and tomorrow you may like something else. True, it's never too early to find, to learn of oneself, but it may be a bit too dramatic to worry about a social label placement.\n\nYou find guys attractive...no big deal. Maybe the true answer is that you are not bound by all off the restrictions imposed on humans, and your consciencouness allows you this freedow.\n\nI bet you've seen some ugly girls before, right? Does that make you gay because some girls are ugly? Of course not. See, it's just that simple.
22853
Hi there,\nI know that the pressure of being a virgin is extremely hard for one to handle, especially in the Western societies that we live in; but virginity is worth striking for.  \nI'm in my 20s and the group of friends that I have is also in their 20s and we are all virgins.  I think the most important thing that one needs to keep in mind is that virginity is for ONESELF, not for anyone else (or sometimes you might wanna save it for you future husband).  Once you are determined about it, it would be less difficult when you think of whether to have sex or not.  \nMy friends and I choose not to have sex before marriage b/c we see SEX as LOVE, and we respect our body as well as our partners'.  When you love someone unconditionally, you don't just want to own the physical body, do you??  Moreoever, when one has premarital sex, the wedding is not something that precious and special anymore, don't you think???  What is it special about the wedding night if you've already know everything about the other person???\nI also have friends who had sex in their teen years and most of them regreted later on.  Most of them lived for the moment and after that, they are the ones who "loose".  Plus, when we are in our teenage years, we don't really know what love is!!!  Believe me, when you find the one who really loves and cares for you, he wouldn't might if you want to save sex for marriage.  (My bf and I both compromise on that, and we're pretty happy).  Hope you find this a helpful!!  Good luck!
412455
This sounds like some freaky cult not to be insulting but wow. You aren't going to go to hell for dating. You aren't going to go to hell for considering someone for marriage if they are not fully converted (what the heck are you converting into?) As long as you do not have pre-marital sex then you have no worries of going to hell. And even then our lord is a very forgiving lord and he will never stop loving you no matter what you do.
176027
since there probably are, would you not be their friend because they were? \nwhat does it matter what they are? \nyou should only worry about yourself. how would you feel that somebody was more wrapped up in your religion and your hertatige than the fact that you may be pretty, for example, and you may have very good relationship ethics.\nim not trying to be mean, by any means. i would just like you to know by singeling out someone (BTW im not saying you are, ok?) because of their religion or race may limit you on a very good friend or more.\ntake a step back and look at how they portray themselvs as an individual not a black, gay, jew.\ni am currently dating a guy that i have been dating for a year~ he has had a problem with homophobia in the past~ he would have never started dating me if he ever knew i had a 3some once, now he loves me and has asked me to marry him. the moral of that was that he had a revelation that i was not bad or a bad person because i was open to it or that i had done it. if he would have judged me before knowing me we would never have the relationship we have now.\nBTW im streight, white, female and 25 years old and i dont hold anything anybody else does against them. im the one that makes the choices in my life, what others do with their life is up to them. \ni was just trying to enlighten anybody else who might read this also, that just try to be as open minded as possible you never know what you might miss out on in your life.
169217
Don't date online. I have too many friends that have been roped into becoming emotionally invested in somebody they're "dating" online who turns out to be nothing like the person they presented themselves to be. Just stay away from it.\n\nAnd don't worry about inexperience. Most guys your age arn't all that experienced, either.\n\nJust make sure you know that none of the first 5 guys you date are going to be the guy you marry. The thing people learn in those young romances is that falling in love with the idea of being in love only leads you to heartbreak.\n\nI started dating by picking a guy I worked with who was a lot of fun to be around, who had a great sense of humor, went to my best friends' church, and had a reputation for getting around. I picked him because I was ready for a lover, but not for a relationship. That's exactly what we had, and nothing more, and I've never regretted it.\n\nDon't get a boyfriend. Get "guys you're seeing" and then get "lovers" and someday get a "significant other" and someday you'll have a husband. But the experiences you'll be having now are to get to know yourself, to get to know what kind of men are out there, to get to know how relationships work, what you have to put into them, and what you can expect to get out of them.\n\nObviously, your parents had problems. In my opinion, many married couples have problems because they didn't date enough first. Sometimes, they get curious as to what it would be like to be with someone else. Sometimes, they don't realize how much work needs to go into a relationship to keep it going. Sometimes they think they should be getting more out of the marriage. Sometimes they realize that they are with someone who doesn't treat them the was they deserve to be treated. \nThe reason people date when they're young is so that they know the answers before they make a commitment.\n\nSo remember: \njust because you feel strongly for someone doesn't mean you're in love with him; \njust because you don't think you'll spend the rest of your life with someone isn't a reason not to go out with him and have a good time; \nbe yourself: misrepresenting yourself won't ever help you to be happy; \nand you're only young and carefree once in your life, take some chances and enjoy it. \n\nOnce this time is gone, you'll never get it back. Be brave, be forward, be confident in yourself, be a woman.
526123
actually.\nits VERY RECOMMENDED and probably a MUST to have both male and female of a married couple being God-fearing Christians.\n\nbecause, in that way, both would have more of God's grace and fervour.\nand that they can pull each other to be even more on fire with God. \nand it would be very hard for either side to backslide.\nmany advantages of having a both christian couple\n\nif any Christian girl says that, but looks more into the looks , money, stature, then God wouldnt really look upon the couple with favour.\n\nand that girl isnt really a 'on fire' type of Christian.\nnot that i'm saying i am.. but after all, its not for US to judge , but for God to judge.\n\nand yes im a girl, and i havent even gotten  my first boyfriend yet, but if i ever have a non-christian bf, it wont last, cos i wont let it last.\nwith my little faith, i believe that God will be pleased if even i break up a stead relationship with a nonchristian guy :D
455886
Yeah, you do sound like a perfect match here.. (I'm listening to your friends here too.. they're all Christians, they know you 2 guys.. we're a load of strangers out here and do not.) I am glad you are Christians and it'll pay off.. I hope you do not get a lot of rude-comments in here.. (people are like that.. you sound like a really nice girl, er woman.) I was thinking back when I was in h.s./then college.. Back then it was a big age difference to have a high school and college 'kid' hook up.. (too much difference..) Now I don't know(?) (Guess I am too old!.. lol.. 53/f) I think if you've got these same morals (you don't sound in any HUGe hurry here, that's good) you should pray on it, wait some more. Can you talk to your minister? (I know.. it's embarassing.. how about talking to the minister's wife? other women in the church?) You'd be surprised (if it's like MY church) how helpful they can be! (might put in a good word for ya even.. wink) IF this guy is looking (and he will be) for a good CHRIStian wife, don't worry, he'll go straight back to his favorite church (and guess what?! YOU'll be there!) good luck.. I'll be praying for you two.. peace out
76421
I was a virgin until I was 25. Then that situation was happily remedied.\n\nI think that life is a lot more than just sex. Obviously, sex is something we all desire. And, we do deserve at some point to experience that joy. It can seem like it will never happen when you go so long before you finally "get some", but for some of us, things just have to fall into place first. \n\nMy suggestion isn't the same as those freaks that just say "let it happen naturally"... I had to realize that I was getting older and it wasn't happening for a reason. It wasn't them - it was me. And, the best thing is, the only thing I can change is ME.\n\nYou can change yourself. Some things you can't change, but some things you can. Make an effort to have more FRIENDS of the female gender. Be a genuine friend. Don't guilt them over not having sex with you, don't pressure them to date you. You can start out just by being nice to random ones you meet (work, college, etc). Be positive around them. Even if inside you are still bitter - only let the positive out. Eventually someone will appreciate your effort, even if she sees through it. Effort earns a lot of points. Things will fall into place.
669854
This is a group for straight males and females who are seeking companionship, love, and possibly a permanent relationship. If you are into anything other than straight relationships, this is not the place for you. Note: Due to the fact that we may have members in the group that don't understand the preceding, all messages will be closely monitored.\n\nThe reason I am starting this new group for other's to possibly meet\nnew people.\n\nThis group is meant for you if people:\n\n1)IF you are facing problems in relationship\n2)If you are seeking your soul mate\n3)If you think you can advice others\n4)If you are seeking tips about pleasing your bf/gf\n\nThis group will be moderated and I assure you that it will\nbe one of the best ever groups where everyone can interact with each\nother without any kind of hindrance..\n\nPLEASE NOTE THAT THIS GROUP WILL NOT HAVE ANY ADULT CONTENT BUT TO\nSHARE FEELING KNOWN AS LOVE & TO SEEK ADVICE IN THAT MATTER.\n\nSO you can have genuine people here looking for making friendship\nwith you, and who knows, you may find your soulmate here.\n\nSuggestions are most welcome.\n\nWe also understand that some members would like to have their partner back. This is a forum for some members who want to save their relationships and stop their breakup, separation, or divorce. Breaking up doesn't always have to mean it's over for good. We invite you to join us and exchange support, ideas, and encouragemnt with others who know how it feels to be in love. \n\nNow in closing this is a great group for serious people looking for love and long term relationships,so get a pic and upload and start posting messages. Tell us a little something about you, and what you are looking for in a life partner. This group is now being created for all of you, I really hope you enjoy this group. \n\nhttp://www.groups.yahoo.com/group/Looking4thatspecialsomeone
460795
This is a tough one because you need to find a way to say no without coming off as sounding gay or rude. If you are that convicted to your beliefs, then you should have no problem telling people why you don't date. Conviction is a rare thing these days and it's nice to see someone your age who actually has conviction to ANYTHING. I would simply tell them," I am flattered that you feel that way but my convictions won't allow me to date at this time. I would love to become friends and get to know you better though."
440152
Sweetie, i feel you.\nBut check this out...I'm a 26 yr old who has NEVER had sex before! (now I'm getting married next year though)-my point? DONT take a boyfriend because you see yur friends doing it.\nSecondly, I see that you harbour a fear of the unknown, I'll quote one of my quotes for you..."Love is to be given only to those you trust, but how do you know who to love if first you dont trust?"\nMy point...take a chance.\nBeing more precise, make a list of things you want in a guy that are not negotiable(eg maybe, spiritual convictions etc), make another of "good to haves but not must haves" (eg maybe, color of hair etc). Then cultivate friendships without labelling every guy as a potential bf or not...just enjoy friendships and things would fall in place.\nLastly sweetie, there's no crime in being single AND learn to trust. ;) \nThis may sound corny but it sure helps-You may want to pray about the issue too.
516214
If I feel like I'm seeking someone and there aren't any choices that may be good enough, then there isn't any choice to be attached. I haven't met any guys recently whom I was very attracted to. It was like I was looking for something I knew it was not gonna be there, because that's what they are and they can't be changed. So, I wouldn't want to settle for less if they didn't seem good enough for me.
58082
First, know what you really want.  Subtract your own true needs and desires from that which you have been told to want, or told you must settle for.  Then, use your best thinking to figure where the sort of person who would fit with you is likely to be.  For example, if intelligence is terribly important to you, then the academic world is more important than a sports arena or a TV game show audience.  Next, go where the people you most want to meet are most likely to be, and be a nice person, easy to talk to, and not pressuring anyone.  Get to know people in the context of your hobbies, interests and beliefs, instead of a "singles" type high-sexual energy setting.  Be open to adjustments from your ideal:  maybe it is reasonable for you to want your great love to be very attractive, but what you really want is a balance of factors.  If the person you meet is very compatible otherwise, but not as pretty or handsome as you had imagined, is that so important?  Or if a man is truly wonderful otherwise, but his income is lower than you had hoped.  Weigh factors realistically, and realize that you are being evaluated, too.  Is it reasonable for people to get hung up in that old joke:  I met Mr. Right, but it didn't work out; he was looking for Miss Right.
172929
You'll meet the right person wether you're into dating or not. There isn't anything wrong with you, I don't much take any interest in dating either, Although I'm only 13. (well i'll be 14 May 1st). But I don't find it very enjoyable. I enjoy just sitting around on the computer most the day and leaving for school and church, There's nothing wrong with you. Or there would be something wrong with me too. So it's ok, You wont be alone forever unless it's meant in gods eyes for you to be. Which I don't think that's so cause god made man and women to be togather. So you wont be alone forever, just have faith. All things are done through god. oh, and Good Luck finding your true love.