i feel like i have been abused since 1998.my life has been a maze of uncomfortable experiences my credebility is at stake and my dreams r fading what can i do to keep my dreams alive and have a future full of happiness
130121
You're best bet is to see a professional for help. Depression can be debilitating, and sometimes, it takes meds and councelling to overcome it. Don't be ashamed to ask for help, because depression isn't something to mess with. It can cause severe problems, including death.
79996
I found talking to a therapist very helpful.  There you can express your feeling and not be judged.  But the only way for things to really change is if you change.  If life feels that horrible, change your life!  Change schools, change friends, live with other relatives.  Sometimes a major change will help you see the world differently.  And remember, no matter how much life sucks sometimes, it's better than the alternative.
394906
I think alot more people than you realize have felt this way. I have suffered form depression also and I have felt that way from time to time. Read my life story (check my questions about this). I have been in an abusive marriage for 12 years and I have not killed myself even though I have thought about it before. I won't do it either because I know that when i put my mind and spirit to it , i can be happy and accomplish anything that I want in life. I look at all the people that I would hurt and leave behind. Not only my wonderful little children but my family and friends who love me. Do you believe in God? have you tapped into your spiritual side? That is what helps me everyday. My brother killed himself 2 years ago and caused so much pain and suffering for every one of us. please don't do it. Continue with your therapist as I will and you can email me whenever you like. Please don't do it. love you, V.
646467
Been there, done that, it will pass, have faith and perhaps see a doctor.  You seem to be depressed.
42031
Learn to be present.\n\nFull presence will desolve the past and you will not look\n\nto the future to fulfill you. Reading "The Power of Now" may\n\nhelp in your search. Good luck, friend.
16932
I sure can imagine what you are going through, but what don't kill you will definately make you stronger.Adversity builds character, and all bad experiences are lessons to be learned.  He may have ripped your heart into a million little pieces, but he cannot rip your spirit.\nIf you believe in God, know that he always has a bigger and better plan for us and there is someone who is deserving of a wonderfully made human being, which is you.\nBelieve that you are worthy of love and to be loved, we all have to grieve, cry, and feel pain that we think will never go away, but trust me it will.  Just say to yourself good ridance to bad rubbish and pray that God gives you the strength to put one foot in front of the other.\nIn time you will be good as new, with lots of experiences to share with others that need it.\nTake care.
675394
this may sound harsh but I do not mean it 2.get ur ass up stop worrying about the past n make a future 4 u n ur children.woman all over the world do it every day.dont look 4 others 2 do what u need 2 do 4 urself.if you have the will u will find the way.stop worrying about what busy bodies with no lives have 2 say n start getting ur act 2gether.if you cannot care 4 ur children by urself get state aid,councelors,training 2 become job ready.just take it one step at a time n by this time next year you will be suppirsed at how far u have come.do not give up hope,in our darkest hour,will come a great light.good luck
166019
Hi\nIn a way this thread is a good experience for you.\nThough you are undergoing truama, and you need support and consolation, some times it is also important that you should know all good things in the world are not sweet. Often many good things come with a bitter taste.\n\nSome one answered you using blunt words. But have you noticed the emphasis? Even that person want you to get a professional advice and come out of your present depressed state of mind. \n\nThe world is like that. The world want to give you very very good things. But when the world give you a very precious thing ,  often that will have a bitter taste. Some time it may look ugly. \n\nNow as an intelligent girl like you, it is yoru duty to take the good things carefully removing the bitterness. Or some times some medicines need to be bitter in taste.\n\nBe realistic. Try to ignore bad, hard, painful expereinces. Hey, you have got a lot of wonderful friends now to help you and support you. But dont you think, you need to support them back tomorrow? YOU SHOULD!! Do you think we are never depressed? Who will support us when we need your help? \n\nCome on! Dont waste time. Go and consult some one now. I am not familiar with UK system. But I asked a UK citizen. That person told me about "samaritan", which obviously you know. But I dont know who can actually give you help from near. \n\nPlease understand the beautiful rose flowers often are found among thorns. Let us not focus on thorns. Let us see the beauty of the Flower with shining morning dews.  These are the beautiful moments in life. After a few years, you will find all these bitter experience as an opportunity to broaden your world outlook and improve your personality. It is bad that these horrible things happened to you. But it is good that (I am talking from my experience) that these horrible things happened to you in an early age. Tomorrow, you will have a pleasing personality. These bad experience will give you strength to be compassionate to others around you. You will never be a mean person like many others. \n\nBut right now it is not time to think of all these. And I know you are under extreme pressure and can not swallow any of these. As many suggested here, you need professional advice. Suggestions and opinion from friends like us is not same as a professional help from an expert. Please understand this. Again, we can not stop the production of some "hormones or chemicals" in our brain. Again I am not suggesting that you need to take medicines. I am not an expert. You need to consult an experience professional to undestand what is more important to you.\n\nBut what we are all sure about is, that, you need not worry about anything. You can definitely come out of this stage. Most people, who normally find difficult to come out of their depression is those who lacks "insight". I am sure any medical expert or psychologist will readily agree with me that you have good insight. That is the key.
200486
sweetie, life will indeed have these types of time periods. The very very MOST important thing you can possibly do right now is try and believe with all your heart that this tough time will pass and that it will get better. It may even take a little bit of time but chances are your life can end up being even better than it was before this hard time started. In the meantime, write out your feelings in a journal and/or talk with a close friend or relative you trust not to judge you. The choice is ultimatly up to you. You can either try your hardest to believe that life will turn around for the better and aim for that goal of better times or give into all the negative energy around you. Please don't give in to it and give up. It will pass.......just believe in the better things and in yourself.
556361
You have said it in the first line of your question here, that this problem seems to be based on your past. You seemed to have been wounded by something that has already happened before. Its best you sit and think. Go back to that part of your past and mentally think as to what you could have done to make things better. I know doing so will be painful but it is something that you must do in order to ease the pain. Continuous suspicions, mistrust issues are not to be looped over such a long period of time, especially when you have beautiful people around you who I am positive are caring and concerned more than you know. There is absolutely nothing to be afraid of and most of all there's nothing more frightening than fear itself. Another question here from my side is why is it that you are afraid to love? I am asking this because we all know that what you give is definitely what you get back in return. If you provide love and affection, it is guaranteed that it will come back to you too. If you have any further questions or need someone to talk to, please don't hesitate to e-mail me. Remember, there are so many wonderful people around and you should give them a chance before you can think of anything else. Before that, please try and do what I've mentioned earlier about looking back and thinking for a moment. Until then, take care. :)
660273
hi... \n  i've had the xperiance like u... i know what it feels like... this is the advise one of my frnds had given.... never think of past mistakes...they cant be changed... each day is a new day.. so whenever u feel sad think of something nice that had happened or just try to divert ur mind  from ur melencholy.. maybe surfing the net or chatting would help... or else jus do ur fav thing or if u like reading read ur fav book.. believe me it works....\nkeep smiling.
182651
I'm saddened to hear that you live in this state.  Sounds like you were traumatized a year ago.  I've been through this. It's a horrible feeling. Asking these questions and reaching out for help shows that you are beginning to come out of it.  To return to reality,  face your troubles no matter how much it hurts.  Talk to a counselor, pastor, friend, teacher.  Continue to ask questions if it makes you feel better.  I wish you a bright future!
543780
Hello: I would like to make a suggestion. If at all possible please look for a therapist. I'm not suggesting this to be rude. You say that there was a lot of fighting in your life as a child. That is emotional abuse. Yelling, name calling, fighting, screaming matches that is abuse. If you are having flashbacks and repressed memories to me as a survivor of abuse both emotional, and other it seems like there are things that maybe you need unburden your heart with. There seems like there could be a lot of pain to perhaps work out. I have P.T.S.d and flashbacks are something that I deal with  I have anxiety and I have repressed memories. I encourage you to please talk to someone. A pastor, relative, friend, or therapist. Please for if nothing else at all then to help with your blood pressure. I have worked through many problems and still have a long way to go. If it seems like I am reading to much in to this then perhaps I could be. It just sounds like something is troubling your heart.\nGood Luck and I'll keep you in thought and prayer.
43905
Pray to God for strength, courage and wisdom to move on and guide you in His direction. He loves you very much and will see that you will carried through this troubled time in your life.\nGod bless you and give you peace.
214807
You may have post-traumatic stress disorder since you were old enough to appreciate the seriousness of your situation when you had encephalitis. \n\nYou should talk to your GP about how you feel & either get some councelling or medication to help you since it does not sound as though you ever recovered properly.\n\nIt may help to get in touch with others who have been throught the same trauma you have suffered as you will probably feel that only they can truely understand how you feel.\n\nYou will be happy & have loads of good experiences in time to come when this will seem a thing of your 'childhood', but to get to that point it sounds like you'll have to actively try & get there not just wait for time to heal. \nGood luck!!
288401
maybe you have some stress in your life that is causing you to unconsciously feel like you need to fall back on your old crutch.  Good luck.
593094
First, get help.  You should not be feeling so hopeless.  You might need medication to help.  Please tell a parent or someone to get you help.\n\nSecond, what about finding something to make your time useful.  Sometimes by helping others, we help ourselves even more.  Volunteering is a wonderful experience.  Is there a homeless shelter in your area?  If not you could go to a nursing home and play checkers with someone who doesnt' have visitors.  Go to a children's ward at a hospital and read to patients.  Contact the red cross in your area and ask them what things you could volunteer to do. \n\nThird, you do have a reason to be alive.  You might not know what it is right this moment, but you have many years ahead of you to find out what it is.  Good luck, please get help!