I AM PUZZLED MY DAD WONT TELL ME THE ANSWER TO THIS JOKE\n\nWHY DO MONKS HAVE DOUBLE CHINS
137447
:}\nthe first is their physical face-chin\nthe second is their spiritual Chris-chin\n\n\nI know it's corny but best I could do on short notice.
237157
no idea dude guess the apes will have to answer this one
300647
The Seven Dwarfs go to the Vatican, and because they are 'The Seven\nDwarfs'\nthey get ushered in to see the Pope. Dopey leads the pack. "Dopey my\nson,"\nsays the Pope, "what can I do for you?"  Dopey asks, "Excuse me, Your\nExcellency, but are there any dwarf nuns in Rome?"\n\nThe Pope wrinkles his brow at the odd question, thinks for a moment and\nanswers, "No Dopey, there are no dwarf nuns in Rome." In the background\na few of the dwarfs begin giggling.\n\nDopey turns around and gives them a glare, silencing them. Dopey turns\nback to face the Pope. "Your Worship, are there any dwarf nuns in all of\nEurope?"\nThe Pope, puzzled again, thinks for a moment and then answers, "No\nDopey, there are no dwarf nuns in all of Europe." This time all the\nother dwarfs burst into laughter.\n\nOnce again, Dopey turns around and silences them all with an angry\nglare.\nDopey turns back to the Pope and says, "Mr. Pope, are there ANY dwarf\nnuns in the whole world?" The Pope answers, "I'm sorry, my son, there\nare no dwarf nuns anywhere in the world."\n\nThe other dwarfs collapse into a heap, rolling, and laughing, pounding\non the floor, tears rolling down their cheeks as they begin\nchanting:......\n"Dopey sh*gged a penguin! ... Dopey sh*gged a penguin!"
629572
That's a good one.\n\nHere is a nun joke for you.\n\n\nThe Hippie & The Nun! \n\nA Hippie was riding on the bus, and was sitting beside a Nun.\nHe said to the Nun, "I want to make love to you!"\n\nThe Nun replied to the Hippie, "I am a Nun, I can not have sex."\n\nShortly afterwards the Nun got off at her stop.\n\nThe Bus Driver calls the Hippie up to the front of the bus and says, "I know how you can make love to that Nun..."\n\nThe Hippie asks, "How?"\n\n"Well," said the driver, "Every Tuesday at midnight the Nun goes to the cemetery and prays. If you dressed up in robes and had some glowing stuff on your face you could pretend you were God and demand sex from her."\n\n"Good idea," the Hippie said.\n\nSo on the next Tuesday night he gets dressed up in some robes, puts some stuff on his face to make it glow and goes to the cemetery to wait.\n\nSure enough the Nun showed up just before midnight, kneeled down and started praying to God.\n\nThe Hippie steps out in front of the Nun, face glowing, robes moving in the breeze and said, "I'll answer your prayers Sister, but first you have to make love to me."\n\nThe Nun is shocked to see God in front of her.  She said, "OK, but it must be anal sex as I have to keep my virginity."\n\n"Fine," said the Hippie.\n\nThe Nun then kneels down, pulls up her dress and the Hippie does his thing.\n\nWhen he is done he stands up, whips off his robes and yells, "HA! HA! I am the Hippie!"\n\nWhereas the Nun stands up, whips off her clothes and said, "HA! HA! I am the Bus Driver!"
644679
My dear friend, \n\nBelow I have done my best to try and explain the sects of Buddhism to level comprehensible to the general public; I sincerely hope it helps you.\n\nHowever, I first must briefly touch on the answer given by [Ronin], which is undoubtedly more a source than an answer.  To comment, our friend here has asked us to help her understand the differences between the branches of Buddhism, as she hasn't "been able to understand them perfectly and was wondering if anyone could put them into layman’s terms for [her]".  Citing wikipedia does neither for her, and I believe you may even insult her by suggesting she does not know how to search for information.  People come her, to the answers services because they have been unsuccessful in their quest for an answer; hence it is up to people who may know the answer to try and assist them in any way that we can, and not simply throw them more incomprehensible information.\n\nA period after the pir-nirvana of the Lord Buddha, the "Elders" and the "Novices" of Buddhism had an argument regarding the preservation of offerings for an overnight situation.  This let to a fine separation into 2 factions of Buddhism: Theravada and Mahasamghika (Elders and Novices) - the terms used previously are given in the ancient language Sanskrit.  In fact, the Mahasamghika was the stepping stone or hint that another form of Buddhism would take place, and that form would be known as Mahayana Buddhism.  Mahayana Buddhism was introduced to the world by Nagarjuna Buddha (or Nagarjuna Bodhisattva - depending on tradition), and the Mahasamghika slowly dissipated into another form of Buddhism, known as Hinayana.\n\nSo to briefly bring things into perspective:  Hinayana, Mahayana and Theravada.  However, this is not the end yet.  Some people actually place Theravada Buddhism under the banner of Hinayana Buddhism.  So, there are mainly the two branches: Hinayana and Mahayana (but readers please take note, it is not that I am in total agreement of this; I merely wish to use it as an example to simplify matters).  Now, to help you understand the differences.  Places like Thailand, Vietnam, Laos, Sri Lanka, India etc are all examples where Hinayana Buddhism is prominent; their Dharma Robes are easily distinguished tending to look like a very large cloth wrapped around their body.  Countries like China, Taiwan, Korea, Tibet, Japan etc are all examples where Mahayana Buddhism is prominent; their Dharma Robes are not so easily distinguished tending to vary from tradition, but one thing is certain, and that is they often have a look of Chinese Tang Dynasty Royal Family robes.\n\nWell, "is that all", you ask?  No, because within the Mahayana tradition there is another lineage of Buddhism, known as the Tantrayana (or Vajrayana).  All the countries mentioned in the category of Mahayana fit this description, but please take note that there is an extremely large amount of overlapping.  And to complicate matter even further, these branches of Buddhism are separated in another general manner:  Exoteric and Esoteric.\n\nSo to conclude:\nExoteric Buddhism - Hinayana Buddhism (Thailand, Sri Lanka...etc)\n             - Mahayana Buddhism (Taiwan, Korea, China)\n\nEsoteric Buddhism-Tantrayana Buddhism (China, Tibet, Japan)\n\nRemember, it all depends in what context you are speaking of.\n\nI hope I have helped you, and would appreciate criticism and education from the learned friends of the world wide web.\n\nvhy
660510
yeah...only the orthodox monks cannot be married....and for the person that answered before me: how can u say something like that that?
181602
Never heard that one before!!  You had me goin for a minute, lol!!  Thumbs up on a good laugh!!\n\n\nOMG, PEOPLE, it's a joke!!  Don't be so critical.
112963
Double chins, \n\nAre usually the resuly of an unhealthy diet...\n\nCut out the mcdonalds etc and you will notice the differnce.\n\nCheers!!
240464
To daredevil pup:  of course that's not God.  That's the EYE of God.  Actually, the sixth eye of God, I guess.\n\nMr. Eye of God:  I can't speak for others, but I forsake your Son for a very good reason:  it was his turn to buy at the pub over the weekend and he "forgot" his wallet.  Something about not having any pockets in his white robe where he could put a wallet.  Frankly, I'm just a little sick of that excuse!
301957
wow.do you have something against jewish?????????   the joke was funny... question:how are ya gonna choose the best answer????lol
244226
Well, Your mama is so fat when she bends over, we enter Daylight Saving Time.\n\n(I hate these kinds of jokes, but I guess they're sorta funny. Unless you're someones mom...)
372065
Whoa.  I have NEVER heard of that, and I've been training karate for  several years.  I guess it's a way to prove one's "manliness" on some level!
45977
I am laughing sooo hard. I have no idea of what you just asked. Not because you phrased the question incorrectly, but because I have no idea of what it means. I am impressed you know what that means!!!
324195
it's called a soul patch.. if it goes under the chin its a goatee
397228
There's a Buddhist anecdote about a man searching\nfor the monastery. He comes to a river with no apparent\nbridges in sight. So he yells to a Buddhist monk who is on the\nother side. "How do I get to the other side of the river?".\nThe monk yells back, "you are on the other side".\n  You just had a Buddhist revelation.
4069
What a sick, but important question.I have no idea,but that guy with the stand side by side theory is really wierd,come on!  LOL
359454
What's the question?  Or is there a joke somewhere in there?