My older sister recently got out a long term relationship. Her exboyfriend left her and moved back to New York. She moved all the way to North Carolina with him to start a "new life" and he ends up dumping her. Now she finds herself alone and sad (even though she is fabulous and very attractive). What is the best way to get her a blind date without her feeling like a pity party?
134374
I know your heart is in the right place, but I doubt if she is ready for a blind date at this point.  You need to give her time to grieve for what she lost and to rebuild her life before she will be ready to start looking for a new relationship.  Just be her sister and her friend and let her know how much she means to you and that her ex was a major fool to treat her like that.
71892
I have a friend who has the same problem. There's not much we can do. She'll have to choose on her own to give nice guys a try. My friend Kim finally decided to pick the nice guy after years of abusive relationships (her father died and her brother took over. he was a pretty big a$$hole, so he was the kind of guy she would go for) Anyway, she saw the light side of life after a while and dated this great guy named Josh. He was pretty cook. Now she's looking for that sort of guy on purpose. Your friend apparently likes being treated like crap, so don't give her a shoulder to cry on when they hurt her. Just tell her that it's been her choice all along. Maybe she'll come around. BUT be sure to be her friend about everything else though. You don't want to lose her. Anyway, don't let it bother you so much. It'll start to affect your relationships if you do.
273490
It doesn't matter.  Tell you sister, "Damn, I can believe she's actually going out with him (your friend).  I didn't think it would bother me, but I guess I do like her more than I thought.  Think you can help me out with her sis?"\n\nEven if your sister tells everyone, at least she'll know you like her.  On the other hand, your sister might actually help you.  Girls like to hook up their friends, it's like their version of frequent flyer miles, when they get older they cash in the points for favors.\n\nAnyway, if you don't go this route, wait until you friend has his date with her, if it goes well, you're screwed, but if it doesn't then next time you talk to her tell her, "Hey, I heard the date didn't go so well.  I don't wanna sound rude, but I'm actually kind of happy about it."  She'll ask why and then you say, "Well, because I think my sister might have a brother who really likes you."\n\nAfter she laughs and you two make out, give her her bra back and ask her out on a date.  Now make sure your sister makes new friends that are hot and you'll never run out of dates!
568592
I would send an email or text message today (DO NOT CALL) telling her that you had a great time and would like to see her again sometime.  No specifics, just sometime in the near future.\n\nHate to break it to you, but my dating etiquette says never ask a woman out for a weekend after Wednesday.  If she has something else planned (which she might), it will come across as a blow off.  \n\nHere's the workaround.\n\nIf she calls before the weekend (I'm assuming she has your number, if not send it via your text or email message), ask her if she has any plans.  If she says no, mention that you and a friend or coworker were going to see the game.  Tell her that he had to cancel (his parents are coming to town or whatever), and that now you are probably going to the game alone.  Then, act as if this great idea just suddenly hit you:\n\nYou: "Hey, you wouldn't want to go would you?"\n\nThrow a little surprise, like "Wow, what a great idea" in your voice.  If she isn't doing anything, and she likes you, she'll jump on it (the idea, keep it your pants for now).  \n\nDO NOT mention the fireworks until that day.\n\n"Ya know, there's a fireworks show that we could check out after the game..."\n\nIf she says she is visiting family or friends, DO NOT say "Oh, 'cause I was gonna go to the game and see if you wanted to go."  Massive conflict in women.  They don't like to hurt people's feelings for the most part.  By saying that, you put across the message "Hurt my feelings or your friends'."  \n\nDo not accept an invitation to hang out with her family or friends on the 4th (if one is offered).  You will be viewed as the interloper and scrutinized and picked apart by them.  They will tell her everything they find moderately disagreeable about you.  She will side with them (after all, she's known them for years and you for three days), and that will be the end of it.\n\nHopefully that will get you started on the right track. Cheers, mate, and name one of your kids after me.
563622
Sounds to me like you just have to stick with the movies, or get her over to your house.  Or just go on a group date, over at someones house to watch a movie or something.  Just hope that everyone else does the same.
237211
Singles night anywhere? \n\nThose date things where you sit with someone for like 3 minutes, I think it's speed dating?\n\nHave someone get you a blind date.
323100
will this turn out bad ..  Perhaps\n\nor good ..   Perhaps\n\ni cant tell...  And I look like a fortune teller?\n\nwas this a good idea or no? ..  Probably not the best approach, but it's done, so there's not much you can do about it now (read: don't' worry about it any more that you've done it, focus on the future)\n\nshould i have just done it on my own .. In my personal opinion, you should have done it on you own.  What is the worst thing that can happen?  She can say "no".  Which is the same worst case scenario that could happen by having a friend intervene.  It would most likely not be the last time in your life that you would be asking someone out, and you most likely don't want to go through your entire life having friends ask people out for you.  It probably won't go over so well when you're older.  Yes, there's a chance that she could say no, but there will be plenty of "no"s in your life, as well as plenty of "yes"s.  Now is a good time to practice having confidence and getting used to asking someone out that you like.\n\nIn the meantime, there's not much you can do about this except wait.  So, don't get caught up worrying about what "might" happen; you could end up being very surprised!  Just relax, and know that you will be able to handle whatever the outcome is.\n\nAnd having someone else see if she likes you isn't the best plan, either.  How does she act around you?  Does she talk to you, or ignore you?  Pay attention to you, or not?  Find reasons to make conversations with her, and based upon how you feel, then decide if there is a chance that she might be interested in you.  Then you could ask her out.  If she says no, that doesn't mean that she doesn't like you; just that she isn't interested in going out on a date with you.  That will not mean anything negative about you; it is simply a fact that she isn't interested in going out with you.  But, you will never know unless you ask!
19591
I wish i could tap you with a magic wand and make your discouragement go away.  All of us singles experiance this frustration from time to time.  Take a mini break from the dating pool, and go for a boys night out.  When you come back refreshed, consider using a dating service, that can help you select the type of lady you're looking for.
57578
I had the same problem when I first moved here (Texas).  I came from Upstate New York, where guys are way more foreward---  people are more reserved here in that way, it seems.  Put yourself out there---  ask someone out for coffee, ask to meet for lunch, you know, little "safe" dates.  After a few of these, you should know yourself if this is a person you really want to date.  Don't do the bar scene dating---  you meet so many crazy, wild people who don't really want a relationship.  Another idea:  ask close friends or relatives to "set you up".  Or, you may try Yahoo! personals.  It sounds risky, and may be, but I met the most awesome man online 14 months ago and we have an incredible relatioship!
40411
Really?\nTry me.\n\n\nI am terribly sorry for bugging you. I do not mean to.\nSorry.\n\nIt seems that you have not found the answer to your question.\nDo not be upset if you have not found a date. It is not worth it. \nTrust me.\n\n\nBy the way, the easiest way to make someone notice you is by making you noticing someone else or notice yourself through your interest or activity.
51070
While it is to easy to succumb to the emotional anguish that is consuming you at this early stage you must put a few bricks up to get through it. Do not drive yourself insane with analizing the last five years. Enlist a support group, best friends, family etc. Go out to the movies, nothing romantic, just a good comedy, horror, action you get the point. Invite some friends over for a dinner party or skip the dinner and just party. Ask each of them to bring a new friend, someone you've never met. Meeting new people is a stimulant. Involve yourself in your favorite activities or hobbies to keep your mind occupied. Submerse yourself in some great books. Pamper yourself a little go on a shopping trip, but something fun and frivolous. Keeping busy is the best thing. Of course the nights will be the roughest. Go ahead and allow yourself to think about her if she comes to mind while you are trying to drift off to sleep. It is part of the healing process. Cry if need be, tears are the cleansing of our soul. Eventually the sorrow will subside. While I think it is important to surround yourself with good friends and meet new people just don't hook up with anyone. Five years is a long time to be with someone, you'll need to take a good year being single to rediscover who you are before enerting the dating game. Have fun, and remember it's ok to have your ups and downs. You'll be fine and who knows in the near future you may come to think the break up was a good thing, usually when one door closes it's because another is getting ready to open. Old cliche I know but it is so true.
91586
on a date is usually the best place.  agree to meet somewhere and then just be really nice about it and even if you use the cliche line "you're such a great guy, but this just isn't working for me."  he'll respect that you told him to his face and not just like a coward over the phone.  it might not seem like it at first, but he will respect you in the end.  it is another plus to building your confidence and becoming an adult.
78905
Blind dates can be effective or not. Depending on you.\nIf someone introduce me someone that I liked from the begining and the feeling was mutual, WELL Praise for BlindDates. if the people you are introduced in the date is making you feel wort, then dont. \nMy suggestion is consider meeting the girl you like by your own means.  Never underestimate the Rush that comes from stainding up to introduce yourself to whomever you like.\n\nyou can suffer rejection that´s for sure, but you just need one person, not every body has to like you, and eventually we all find the one we need.\n\nOther sugestion, dont LOOK! just let it happen, have fun, be yourself and relax. \nyou atract more when you are ok withyourself.
181217
Oh, you sound adorable!  Yes, I think this is a confidence issue.  Number one:  do not start dating again right away.  Rebounds do not help self-esteem.  It just makes you dependent on a girl's attention for self-love.  What I do is focus on the love that's already in my life, from friends and family members.  I just try to go out and have fun.  Pretty soon, I realize I'm having fun without a romantic interest.  And then, I become braver in approaching people, because their rejection isn't such a big deal.  I can do fine without them.  And don't look at other women as potential dates.  Look at them as potential friends.  Eventually, you'll find one you want to date and who will help you out of your shell.  But good luck and don't worry about it too much.  This girl isn't worth your time or worry.
669285
her relationship just ended, so she is probably a little off right now.  give her a minute...and only a minute.  set up a group of 4 of you to go out for coffee, or even dinner, make it a fun night just to get out, that way he can make a move and she wont freak out with all of you there, and maybe it will help her come around.
6009
That's really difficult.  It's not good to be alone, and there's nothing pathetic about that.  It's hard to meet quality people. Loneliness is very tough -- it's true for everyone.  Just people don't like to admit it.  And the best people can end up single for a long time.  If you are over 18, I suggest you explore online dating.  It really has lost all its stigma.  Many "non-loser" people use online dating as a way to meet matches that share their interests, faith, goals, etc.  This is better than what you'll get limiting yourself to people at work or trying to pick someone up in a bar.  Don't be scared to try online dating -- just make the first date very casual, and in a public space.  Also, have a friend call you 30 minutes into the date so that you can claim an emergency if you know right off the bat that this person is too creepy for you or just not a good fit.
565924
Don't try too hard, be yourself and your date will feel more relaxed and not as if you're trying out a stand-up comedy show on him. Be mannerly, use body language to your advantage. Subtle mirroring of your date can make them more attracted to you as "we like people that are like ourselves." Eye contact- but not so much that your date feels stared out. Have a positive attitude about the datm not like "this one better last as the others haven't been successful" but more of a cool attitude: "if it works it works, if not, there's somebody else out there for me...." Be interested in your date, but don'e annoy them with too many questions. Don't be over-enthusiastic about what your date enjoys as this could be intimidating. Don't move too fast, its okay not to kiss etc on the first date as you're only getting to know the person, go with your instincts, not the so-called "rules" of dating as they are made for ppl who are too afraid to be spontaneous. Be YOU more than anything, and best wishes with it! :)