if me and my girlfriend plan on moving out of our parents houses and in with eachother, would it be a problem for us to sleep in the same bed?
133448
i think that depends on which country you're in and from what culture you live in. \n\nin some cultures, especially those in the west, it is no big deal when two unmarried persons move in together and share the same bed (and bathroom and toothbrush and bills).\n\nin some cultures, this is a huge taboo. \n\nso you better weigh your choices carefully. while it's true that moving in together can mean some savings because you can both share the bills, doing so might be against your community or your culture. \n\nalso, on the practical side of things, better find out if you snore and if your girlfriend is bothered by it. believe me, some couples break up because of snoring.
308242
No, your mom just loves you. You have lived under her roof for what, 30 years, so it is just common behavior for her. She will continue to do this even if you move out on your own, but as time passes it will not be as frequent.\nAs long as you live with her, she will see you as her "baby" still and the motherly need to be protective is always there regardless..
516639
Move: It depends on the stage I am at in my life.  Since I am nearing the completion of my B.A., moving right now would be horrible!  After graduation, then yes. My fiance, however, has agreed to move wherever I find a good grad school; so his answer would be yes right now, but no once he starts his new stage in his education.\n\nHurtful: Yes.  Part of being in love is fighting and making up.  My fiance and I bicker like an old married couple and do say hurtful things to one another at times, but we always make up and know we love one another.
34615
It's ok. It requires extra energy of course but as long as you trust each other and maintain constant communication then there should be no problem. \n\nBetter if you are not doing it for long term period. Soon one of you has to decide to move. But if you have no choice to do so, those things above will play important roles in order to keep your relationship work well. \n\nAnyway, short distant relationship doesn't give any guarantee that the relationship will work better than the long distant one, does it?
225267
Firstly, have you thought about how your girlfriend thinks about all of this? It is her house and her daughter after all. You have been invited to stay with them, and you accepted. Accepting her daughter is part of that agreement.\n\nSo if you really love your girlfriend, are you going to let her daughter walk all over you like that? I'm not telling you to lay down and take it from her, but is there no way you can compromise? You have come into her space after all, and she is obviously threatened by it. You aren't her father so you can't tell her what to do, and at the same time you have no say as to whether her mother chooses to make her pay rent or not - you get your say if you're asked. Sure you can suggest things, but be prepared to back them up with logical and reasonable arguments, and try to be fair at all times. No one ever said this was going to be easy. \n\nIf you really want to be with your girlfriend, you have to be prepared to accept her daughter. Maybe speak to your girlfriend when her daughter isn't around and explain how you feel? She might be able to say something to her daughter. If not, you just have to grin and bare it because these things take time.
676606
You said you and your parents don't get along. Does this mean you do not love them? I am sure you do. turn the tables and think about your question. \n\nyou go to bed tonight and when you wake up your parents are gone - they didn't bother to tell you and didn't leave a note as to where they were. \n\nwould you be worried? would you be hurt? would you feel like maybe they should have told you? I think that would be a yes. \n\nand you know that no matter what you love your parents and would not want them to worry about what happened to you. \n\nYou going to college so this tells me your smart - I think maybe you could if you really wanted to find ways to improve the relationship you have with your parents. \n\nbest of luck.
595965
If you want to go there regardless of if she is there or not, then sure.  You just can't have it anywhere in your mind that the two of you might get together as a result of you moving there.  The bottom line is make sure it is for the right reasons.  Get that job, find your dream place...don't go and wait around for her.
658575
Nothing feels more settled than a strict environment (ha ha). I am going against the grain here and recommending the spare bedroom. Here's the reason. I think strict would drive you crazy sooner than you can get back on your feet and you would end up hating the friend's mother (and maybe the friend). You also said "go back to sleeping on the sofa" so you've had the experience before and don't want to go back. If you can work and prosper in that spare bedroom environment, you'll have a real world feel for the way things are. I think you can handle the two 'guys', because you already know them well enough to know they're a handful. \n\nKick some ass!\n\nGood Luck
198143
Yes if I had reasons and opportunities there.\n\nIf this was someone I had known for a while, I could find a job there and had a reason to live there I definitely would.  But I would never move just for them.  It puts all sorts of extra stresses on the relationship, if the person coming doesn't have a job waiting, or living arrangements, or a real reason to be there other than that person.\n\nI can understand wanting to make a relationship work, and it won't while there's such a distance. However, just one sacrificing everything for the other, doesn't work.
662646
Hi Kat,\n\nSounds like you already answered your own question hun.  If you both care about each other, there is nothing wrong with dating still and living in your own places.  If you really want your independence back then you need to take it.  Living with him because he wants you to stay isnt the answer.  Stand strong, and be kind. THere is always common ground.  NEVER compromise or you'll be blaming each other in the long run.  Best of luck . Take care
646481
Its whenever you are comfortable enough to do so, and where your values stand.  My now fiance and I moved in with eachother after only two months of dating.  Some people think that you should not live with eachother until you get married...I disagree...
104142
YOU ARE IN A REAL BIND. I'M WONDERING WHAT THE CUSTODY AGREEMENT IS. I THINK THAT SHE NEEDS TO COME HOME WITH YOU IF SHE WANTS TO LIVE WITH HER DAD THEN I WOULD TELL HER SHE NEEDS TO COME HOME UNTIL THE APPROPRIATE ARRANGEMENTS CAN BE MADE. ON A MORE MOTHERLY NOTE I NO THAT THIS MUST BE VERY HURTFUL BUT SHE WILL REALIZE THAT LIVING AT HOME WITH MOM IS THE BEST ESPECIALLY SINCE YOU MENTIONED A GIRLFRIEND IT WONT TAKE LONG BEFORE THEY GO AT IT AND RESENTMENT WILL SET IN. I KNOW THIS MAY NOT BE OF ANY COMFORT TO YOU BUT I WILL REMEMBER YOU IN MY PRAYERS. GOOD LUCK
572628
if you're ready you won't be scared. it's a good move, it builds character... regardless of your situation, I'd say moving out is always a step in the right direction, just remember to be responsible and careful, and don't let people use your home as a crash over all the time lol yeah, watch out for people you want to take advantage of staying over! They come in swarms, believe me... Make sure you get your mum and dad to give you a few points... i hope you can cook ;-)
162463
Don't let anyone fool you with the married thing.  That is just stupid advice.  Getting married will not affect the success of your moving in together, it is just some prudish Victorian attitude that some people still have.\n\nThe fact is, once you move in you may split up.  In fact the odds are very high it won't work out for you.  But moving in now (if you both feel ready) and moving in two years from now probably won't affect how successful it is.  So if you are both ready to take the plunge why not find out sooner rather than later?\n\nMoving in together is exciting and fun.  You get to pick furniture, pick a place, decorate it, and experience the good and the bad of living with someone.  More than likely the first year will be a lot of fun.  Where it goes after that is a function of how compatible you are with each other and how real you were being with each other prior to moving in.\n\nHope it works out for you.
607031
well, objectively, they arent going to do anything they arent already doing. if you go to sleep and they have a wild orgy, its certainly not as though you going to sleep put this into their heads. they've done it before. the question is do you want it happening on your watch? i assume all the associated parents know that it is a co-ed sleepover, and have agreed to it. they cant possibly expect you to hover over them all night. and usually, girls are not terribly willing to indulge in sex acts while their parents are in the house. wait until you feel that you have done the best you can, then go to sleep. of course, you could always rig a trip wire with bells on it in front of the girls door.  kids will be kids, and that means that they will misbehave, but for the most part, are fairly good little human beings. if you trust the way you raised your daughter, then she will be fine. in the future, dont agree to something if youre not sure you can trust the parties involved.
118522
Move back into the same room, being separate will not help!\nTry  for a weekend get away.
196738
Nothing! In my experience, the only thing that changed was a piece of paper, and my name. If you are already living together, you know how the other person lives, eats, breathes, so you won't happen upon any surprises! I think what you are doing is the best way to go, I did this myself. You really do not know a person until you live with them. Good luck to you!