Yestarday I ended a 4 year relationship with my boyfriend because he broke my most imprortant relationship rule(no beating or cheating) He didn't cheat. He called me&got extremely enraged for not taking him back or even trying to forgive him(the violence just happened last weekend) So he began calling me all kinds of B!3(%es and all of that and said he was going to pay some females to come over and jump me then hung up in my face. Late last night he called my home incessantly, cussing at my sister&demanding that she put me on the phone. He knows that there is a baby and small child who live here and were sleep at the time but he just kept calling and being disrespctful. Now I am worried about his threat.Please help me before this situation gets any worse. I thank you in advance
122737
Bear with it ... he will soon stop being a wanker. Don't give him anything to work with  don't play his game.
673491
OK call him and have a long long talk with him. Be sweet but clear, don't show to him that you can't live without him (that would give him priority). Talk to him bluntly. Ask him about the reasons that make him have this reaction towards you. Talk, talk talk and ask him about what worries him. What's wrong with your relationship. And at the end you will get to know if it is worth going on with this or just stop it. See and decide in your best interest. I think you are smart and will understand it if he doesn't love you anymore. \nAll the best and good luck
354815
If he made any kind of threat you need to print the email out and take it to the police.  It sounds like he hurt you before, tell the police that too.  Make sure to tell them that you fear for your life.  They can't do much at first since you probably didn't report being hit in the past, but you can start doing something now.  \n\nThis guy sounds like a control freak that can't stand you being with someone else and I feel for you.  I had a boyfriend like that and he stalked me for months until the police got involved.   He didn't want to go to jail and finally found another poor girl to abuse.  \n\nTake the threat very seriously, tell your family and friends about him and give them a copy of the email and keep a copy of it with you as well to show the police if you have to call them.  Make sure that you are never alone anywhere (even a quick trip to the store), that you always have your cell phone (charged) and that anyone with you knows to keep an eye out for him. If he shows up anywhere you are, call the police- every single time. If he is stalking you and making threats the police need to see a reported pattern of behaviour before they can do anything.  He might be waiting for when he thinks you are vulnerable, so keep all your doors and windows locked and maybe buy a dog.  Find the number of your nearest abuse shelter and get some counseling to learn how to deal with someone like him and so you can learn how to stand up for yourself so you don't end up with someone like him again.  Maybe you could find a self defense class to take at a community center or a college near you.\n\nThings like this can easily escalate and he may try to harm you, your family or your boyfriend.  They all need to know to stay away from him, that he is dangerous and is making threats.  No one will be mad at you, they care about you and want you to be safe.  And he wants you to be embaressed or to blame yourself so he can get away with hurting you and get control of you again.  Don't let him!!  \n\nDon't be afraid because deep down all guys that treat girls like that are cowards.  If he thinks you are going to make it hard for him he will (unfortunately) go find someone that will be easier to control.  I hope you will be okay and safe and that you find a guy that will treat you the way you deserve- with respect, gentleness and love.  God bless!
310842
Okay, dude treated you like crap.  He destroyed all your self-confidence and left you feeling really low about yourself.  Him treating you like crap only when you were hanging out with your friends is not a minor thing.  That is a sign of a controlling, possessive person who wants to cut you off from your friends (support group) and have you depend on him for friendship and support.  That is not healthy.  \nThe fact that your dad made you break up with this guy is probably the catalyst in this situation.  You needed to make that decision on your own.  That power was taken from you.  You needed to realize on your own that this dude was NO GOOD and you wanted more and deserved better than you were getting.  \n\nI am speaking from experience.  I was in a similar situation- dating a guy who treated me like crap, my family and friends hated him and kept telling me that I deserved better but that made me want to stay with him even more.  I even moved 2 hours away from everything (family, friends, home) with him.  It lasted about a year and a half even though I was miserable the entire time.  I didn't think it would do any good to break up with him- he'd just come after me and we'd end up back together.  I didn't have a good enough reason to get away from him.  I had created a whole new life for myself with him, and breaking up with him meant giving all that up.  The only thing that made me come to my senses was getting pregnant.  It gave me a whole new perspective of my "new life" and the way I was living.  I came to realize that I did not want to raise my baby in that kind of environment around that type of person.  It gave me the strength to leave him and completely cut myself off from that life and move back to my hometown.\n\nIt might help to think about things from that perspective- if you did get pregnant, would you want this guy to be your baby's daddy?  Is that the life you would want for your child?  Is that the kind of environment you would want to raise a child in?  \n\nDo some soul-searching.  I highly recommend keeping a journal, it helps to sort through the tangle of thoughts, feelings and emotions connected with relationships of any kind.  Write it all out and then re-read it.  Even if you have to burn it afterwards to keep someone else from reading it-what you write may actually surprise you.  And remember:  You DO deserve better!  You are a good person who deserves to be treated in a good way.  Right?
187698
OMG that is awful!\n\nKeep it brief. He was being dishonest, cheating, and not communicating... so no reason why YOU should show him your vulnerability. \n\nTell him that due to your recent discoveries, you're speechless that he would disrespect you to such an awful degree... and obviously, as consequence, want to cut all contact with him. \n\nWish him good luck with his pathetic little life, hang up on him before he has a chance to answer or give any useless explanations, and go treat yourself!
464084
you know what to do but afraid to take the first step because he might hurt you again physically... why not consult with a legal counsel and ask him the best way to get out with the relationship. you have to be strong to face the consequences that would save your life and pride as a person. Good luck ;-)
229672
Yeah...it sounds familiar ...I have an ex who tried the same...basically you have to set boundaries as it's not appropriate for him to visit you given his feelings and the fact that you're committed to another man. Tell him to use the phone or mail to communicate but don't expect him to go away -it's been 18 years since my ex has been doing this but as he's basically harmless I haven't really cared. The important thing is -is your ex harmless? Or is he someone who may act on his obsession? Finally I want to say -be sure you're not sending mixed signals...I've seen too many women not be clear about their wishes only to whine or press charges later when it's their fault for not being direct in the first place! Be honest with him and tell him to scram! There's my advice...I hope you take it! Edit~ I got your mail....If you hate him as you say AND HE HAS 'HURT YOU SO BAD' then why are you putting up with him then? Get a restraining order! Call the police and file a complaint and ask them to tell him to stay away! I thought maybe you still liked him on some level but since that's not the case you need to be pro active! Don't sit here on yahoo talking about it-do something about it -and I mean right now-today! Make sure you don't regret not doing anything!!!!!!!!! Everyday you let this go on-you encourage him more, and give him hope and he will become more relentless! You have been warned!
666295
Maybe you should call him and talk it out.  I doubt he wants to break up with you. Why would he do an idiotic thing like that??
341061
A couple things I can say on this coming from "experience".  The only time anyone would be suspicious of you is if they themselves were doing something they shouldn't be.  Most importantly and very concerning is this... \nI'm not sure how long you have been together or what your relationship is like, but there are distinct signs of future abusive behaviors here.  Your best option is to discuss this with him and express your concerns.  If he's not willing to tell you or worse it explodes into an argument, cut your losses (no matter how hard it may be) and leave.  Reality should tell you if you can't talk, there's no future.  No one deserves to be treated like that and you should have more respect for yourself to know there is someone out there that will treat you the way you should be.\nGood luck to you...
394378
I honestly don't have an answer for you because of these being the only details given.  I can tell you to leave this relationship as it sounds miserable and he is emotionally abusing you.\nHTH
13515
listen sweetie...\n\ni don't want to upset you or anything, but i've had experience with this issue.  what you're talking about is not really fighting.  it's called jealous and controlling.\n\nyou and your boyfriend aren't really fighting.  he is getting very angry and accusing you of things that he has made up in his head.  you are trying to cool the situation down while trying to defend yourself, all while trying to make sure that he knows that you love him.\n\ni don't know how long you've been going out with him and i don't know how angry he gets.  but on the real, you should tell him straight out that he has to stop and you won't take it if he continues.  if he does continue, you should leave him.  i know it sounds harsh, but trust me, however bad it is now... it will get worse... and worse... and worse.
65234
YOU"RE IGNORANT.!! WHAT DOES HIS FAMILIES RELIGION HAVE TO DO WITH ANY OF THIS.?? OR WHAT RACE(S) YOUR HUSBAND IS.?? WHO CARES ABOUT THAT, EXCEPT A RACIST?? \n  AS FOR THE ABUSE, HE'S WRONG FOR IT, BUT YOU ADMITTED CALLING HIS CO-WORKERS HOUSE AND BEGGING HIM BACK, AND COME OFF THE SELF-PITTY TRIP, "HE MADE ME BEG HIM BACK". IF YOU DID IT, YOU WANTED HIM BACK. HE DIDN'T MAKE YOU CALL HIM, BECAUSE YOU SAID, " HE DIDN'T CALL ME FOR 2 DAYS". \n  SO YOU NOW DESERVE WHAT EVER HE DOES TO YOU. YOU COULD'VE LEFT HIM ALONE OR WENT HOME TO YOUR PARENTS, BUT YOU CHOOSE NOT TO.  \n  AS FOR HIM CALLING YOU A ***** , WE DON'T KNOW YOU MIGHT BE.\n\n YOU BEGGED HIM BACK AND MADE YOUR CHOICE, SO STOP WHINNING ABOUT IT NOW. IF YOU DIDN'T WANT IT, YOU'D HAVE LEFT HIM ALONE.
447817
My advice to you is DO NOT give him any money. Hang up the phone when he calls. If he has been beating you notify the police in your dity or town and get a restraining order on him if possible. If you feel threatend by him you might consider going to a women's shelter. You can find numbers for them in your local phone book. Don't let this crazy ruin your life. Do whatever you can to take charge of your life and stay away from him. Men who beat their wives cannot be trusted. Do not believe him when he tells you he will not do it ever again. He will. Get to a women's shelter AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. Do not tell your friends or family where you are going just go. These places have all kinds of resources to help you and to get you moving in the right direction. You need to get your life back don't let him ruin you or your life. Please do this for yourself you do not deserve to be treated badly just because you married this guy.Please get help TODAY!\nLL
300357
Honey, I know what you're saying. My ex does the same to me. One day, he's the best thing you could ask for, the next he's unbearably mean. On a good day, I accept that we've had a good day. On the bad, I hope the next will be better. Don't call him for a few days and see the change in his attitude. He's gonna treat you like dirt as long as he knows you're waiting for him.
354312
Your question brought tears to my eyes.  Your life sounds like mine when I was 20.  My so called boyfriend and I are 5 years apart also and we have a child together.  Your fiance sounds just like mine years ago. The life you are living is a hard one, I can feel your pain.   I left my boyfriend several times because of his controlling crazy ways. My friends werent good enough, he didnt like me to go out, he was jealous of anything and everything.  And he accused me of sleeping with anybody and everybody (male, female, dog, cat, if I looked at it I was sleeping with it).  He couldnt hold down a job either.  He was a good father also.  Remember men like this make good fathers because they are CONTROLLING. I used to think is this all there is for me like you do but trust me its not.  You can take your child and raise it by yourself.  I raised 2 kids at your age by myself.  Trust me this man is only going to drag you down.  Here I am years 15 years later and I am STILL going back and forth with the same man.  Only difference is now he has changed he is no longer that controlling jerk he used to be.  But it took 15 years to get here. And that is only because he matured in some areas but in other areas he is still a jerk.  We dont live together so why am I holding on? I am working on myself now to figure that out.  My question to you is.  Do you want to wait 15 years like me for this man to finally treat you with the respect you deserve? I can see your like me, you need to save yourself from yourself.  I thought I was in love, funny thing is I still do, but I also know what is best for me.  Men like this never change.  Mine changed his controlling ways but only because he had no choice.  I have figured out through the years that guys like this are always going to find a way to hurt you.  The hurt never stops.  Don't say you made your bed so you should lie in it.  No one deserves the kind of treatment you receive.  I really think you will be able to make a good life for you and you child.  I did.  I am successful and have 2 great kids.  Funny thing is now "jerk" wants to settle down.  But the past is some thing you never forget.  Especially when he is still doing little stupid things that hurt me.  Like I said the hurt never stops.  I would love to give you strength and advice to help you through this because I can sense there is probally more to your story just like their is more to mine.  Dont think you are being selfish.  That was my problem years ago.  I put everyones happiness before my own.  Only sacrifice you need to make is for your child, remember that.  Your child needs to be raised in a loving argue free environment.  It is going to be hard.  Beause this guy has ahold of your mind, more than a hold on your heart.
350066
He's a bully. If you stay with him, get used to a life of walking on egg shells. I bet he was "sorry" later and tried to tell you he didn't know what made him do it, or said you "made" him do it.  It's not a mood swing, it's a precursor to more verbal and emotional abuse.
66544
This guy sounds like he's really confused and a bit immature.  I think you really need to answer that phone and tell him how much you were hurt by what he did to you.  Talk it over . . . you might be surprised to find that he's been just as torn up about this as you have been!