My sis-in-law asked me for my advice. and after a long conversation on messenger, she ended up sending my brother a log of our convo. I dont think that was right, what do u think?
136596
I think you should take it as.. she thought i gave sound advice and she wanted him to see it. Altho your bro can take it as.. its none of your buisness.  Its not right that she did that.. she should have adapted the advice as her own and TALKED it out with him
29857
I cannot agree or disagree with him.  I was not present during all of those 4 to 5 months that the couple was dating.  He says he never promised her to get into a serious relationship, but did he ever tell her that?  Did he just lead her on for the sex?  Did she ever ask him what his intentions were?  Did she just assume that because they were having sex that the relationship was serious (or would lead to more commitments)?\nAnd what business is this of yours (unless the woman was your sister)?\n... and don't you just hate it when somone answers a question with a bunch of questions?
338326
Hey sis, if you need to talk, I"m here for you. I married a brother who had been married to a sister who cheated on him. If you want to talk to him about it or ask him questions about it, I don't have a problem . Drop me a line, eh? I can understand how hard it is on the 'survivor' , It has been almost 7 years since we got married and there are still trust issues. But I know that eventually he will heal and  I am patiently waiting for that time. Meanwhile, we have a great marriage. Yeah, drop me a line and let's talk.\n( Bap'd 3-10-1990)
16263
Nah--you should just leave it alone. Now, if you SEE her doing something with another guy, then confront her. But, unless your brother asks you to keep watch, you should mind your own business. Does it really matter what her race is? If she were white, would you have written: p.s. she's white and sort of a party girl. Probably not. Sounds like you, yourself, have a motive other than your brother best interest?????????
53841
i use to be in that position. but we didnt keep it a secret, my brother didnt really mind, but one day he got wasted n fought my bf. then they stopped talkin to each other, but we stil went out, for a yr, then in da middle, they started to talk to each other. i say tell your brother, he might understand, and he might respect you guys for telling him straight.
613409
Sounds to  me like everything was kinda thrown together on short notice.  Also sounds like you were mighty gracious about the whole affair. I would have sat anywhere.  At least it is behind you now and you have learned something about your mother in law. Be proud your husband stands beside you but be ready to forgive if she comes and asks for it. She is his mother no matter what and you never want to be pointed to as the unforgiving, cruel daughter in law. By the way, I bet the bride didn't even know all that stuff was going on.
186796
There's definitely something going on and I'm sorry to say but she's no good for you. Obviously she's not really caring about how you feel about anything and is using you for financial support. And if she really loved you, she wouldn't get mad about you confiding in your brother. At least you didn't confide in another woman's vagina...for crying out loud. You have your freedom to do confide in anyone you want. Not only is she restricting you but she's also using you. You need to step back and re-examine your true feelings for her. Perhaps you're just in a comfort zone and that's why you want her back. Agree on the break and go out and clear your head. I'm sure that you'll find what you really want...listen to you heart. It knows exactly what it wants...are you listening?
153593
I cetainly wouldn't tolerate anyone going thru my things, I'd call her on that one, but as far as playing the big Sister role...she just may think because you are surrounded by brothers, you may want the "sisterly" advice...once you set her straight on the privacy issue, and she continues to "snoop", THEN tell your Bro, he wouldn't want your friends going thru his stuff either....as far as the "big sister" role goes, that probably won't last too long... and she may not either, chances are if she's annoying you this much already, she's probably annoying your other brothers in some way or another as well.....
210371
It shows me that ur sister is in the stage of being a rebel than to listen to her older brother which is YOU.  If you butt in her life,but it will make u look like a controlled brother for you.. Amen, I understand you too. I felt the same way with my brother years ago. Thank goodness hes still making through in this life. What i did was? Back off and was sweet talking to him about girls and be more open with him .. He became more trustworthy  and be able to share more personal questions which i didnt realized he would have gone that far than me. Of ocurse, i am his older sister. I always at best advices and suggestions and the rest is up to him. He learns more from me and looks up to me as a role model.. U see i didnt want to be a controlled sister. ITS A TOUGH CHOICE.  Let your sister go and face the real world of whats shes going through .. best be on her side and be a good brother to her . open up with advices and suggestions without scolding or controlling or commanding. Give her a story with reasons and let her think . thats how i handle my brother.  we now are best freind than before.HE told me that i was the best sister he ever had. So u can learn from this example. its hard but its their life, not ours. we had our wild days, of course!\nhave faith and keep on eye on ur sister.. Hope everything will be allright between you two!\nSmiles
481998
Maybe she feels threatened that you are entering the family and may take her place so she wants to make sure you know she is on the inside and you are not.  Maybe she was caught up in the emotion of the event and never meant to hurt your feelings. Depends on the sister-in-law.
286783
I can't stand my inlaws!! They are so fake! They act like they like me but, behide my back they talk about me. I have acually heard her talk about me! I can't believe they can be that way! I had tried so hard in the begining to get along with them but I stopped that a long time ago! I guess first impressions mean alot because that was when she brushed me off when I said hello. If my husban is not home and she calls I don't pick up the phone and she knows I'm home. I know that get's her upset. But I love it!! So my suggestion is focus on your fam and avoid her! But ofcoures say hello once in a blue moon. I know you not getting along with her came create unwanted problems in your relationship! Best of luck:)
267996
It sounds like you are dumb to listen to your brother.\nCommon sense is needed here, my dear!
407980
Worry.\n\nWhat type of respect is she expecting for herself with a picture like that posted in the first place. She obviously thought about whether or not she wanted it posted and decided to do it. She is advertising herself to perfect strangers for whatever reason she came up with for doing it.\n\nI am sure she had a good explanation for it, did she not?\n\nShe is also showing no respect for you, her husband.\n\nThink about it.
665177
I'm confused.. When you say you were speaking to other men.. is that all then? I don't see anything wrong w/that. You say tho 'he stayed w/me' and I don't know why he wouldn't (if it was just conversation.) You say he had a secret relationship.. was it sexual? You two both sound kind of jealous/possessive.. I mean I am basing this on the assumption there was nothing sexual involved in any of this. (If there was, that's a different story..) Let me see here.. He treats you like crap.. I take it that's the real issue on hand here.. I think men are kind of like babies (I'm married to one.. lucky me..) or they want their cake/ to eat it too.. they want us to cook and clean (and spread 'em) but on the other hand they want their 'freedom' to screw around on us at the same time. (We can't do anything along the same line tho..) that sux, right? He stayed because he's been with you and while the other gal's 'something new/exciting & different' you're the one he's 'used to living with' I am thinking. (Hell, this is depressing me!!) Hey, I DO think you've got value/self worth, dont' get me wrong! I'm just kinda bitter about men is all.. It sounds like my marriage of l4 years (boring.. I'm bored..) My ole man's an asshole (cuts me down) and then developed (or so he claims) e.d. so he tries to do the oral thing (doing me 'one big goddamned favor') on me for sex (but it's wearing thin or gettin' old I mean.. fast..) I want to dump him too.. (I think you want to dump THIS guy..) do it!! that's my 'valuable' advice for ya
177643
I don't see why asking her what she's doing over the phone should make her think you don't trust her unless she is hiding something. I think nothing of being asked that q. It's just normal conversation. Maybe it's your approach?? Or maybe it's not you at all!! Good luck, sweetie!
348683
Dude i couldnt agree with you more.  No offence but for their own good put them in a looney bin and do it fast.  Thisnk about all the things peopl will say about you and your family when they see them.  Is that in itself worth it?
470999
that sister should have her letters taken away. these are not things to be "traded" . you both need to be put on line again. you obviously didn't pledge hard enough anyway.