If you're friendly with some coworkers and friendlier with others and those coworkers don't get along at all, you're in the middle. It seems so high schoolish but it does exist. How do you manage yourself in this drama?
124805
I absolutely hate it when that happens. I always try not to get involved, but if I have to, I end up bitching someone out. Just don't get involved, and make it clear to your co-workers that you are not involved. Make sure they understand that they are both your friends and you will not take sides, no exceptions. I am usually very firm when it comes to these issues, because you're right, it IS high-schoolish. I have very little patience for this kind of thing, and all my friends know this.
550723
What are you, the stink police?\n\nI absolutely don't get you or the other school brats who have written in like it's okay to criticize "in a helpful way" your friends.  Do any of you like to be hurt?   I can just see a school full of teenagers running around sobbing because you're all so helpful pointing out each other's flaws in the name of "friendship".   When did this version of friendship start?\n\nWith friends, you're there for them no matter what.   You don't judge or criticize or tell them what to do with their hair or their boyfriends or their body odor.   Would you want someone telling you that you are selfish or immature or a gutless coward because you leave notes for people who offend you?\n\nI don't think you're trying to be her friend.   Your question is all about you, and you sound like a major drama queen, worried about how being a snitch will fall back on you.   Face it, you aren't trying to help her.   You're trying to find a way to be nasty without getting caught.   You even said the teachers won't do anything about it, so why bother embarrassing or humiliating this girl?\n\nMaybe she can't take showers at home because she has a stepfather who likes to watch.   Maybe she can't wash her own clothes because her mom's a drunk and doesn't want to take the girl to the laundrymat.   You don't know WHAT her situation is, so why not focus on yourself (like you aren't already) and see what needs improvement there?    That should keep you busy for awhile.\n\nGood luck.
229589
When a co-worker is not your cup of tea, just remember you're not there to socialize.  You're there to do a job.  Be polite and discuss whatever needs to be discussed civilly but keep your eyes open for a better position.  Never alienate anyone at work because you never know when you might need them.
385402
This a deep office ethics verus common morality.  Confronting your co-worker verbally in private maybe taken as show of strength perhaps even agression.   A good course of action would be to confront her in front of your co-workers in calm and even tempered logical manner.  If she doesn't like you and spreads rumor she'll come out as agressive or defensive.  The calmer your stay saying comments like "Your behavior lately has been childish and unprofessional."  and "Such action is unwarrented, if you have greivence against me bring it to my attention and we can work it out"  Nine times out of ten the other person will come out with defensive remarks making them look bad.  They might even reveal their problem with you.  Good luck  and stay calm rumours can only bring you down if you sink with them.
21969
You guys are unbelievable. I can't believe you all are answering questions in the Etiquette area.\n\nSometimes, you just have to put up with listening to stuff you don't want to hear.  Politely excuse yourself, period.  Tell them you have to go.\n\nBeing rude will net you nothing but another enemy. There's no reason for that - you never know when the person you're talking to now will appear again in your life -- maybe a boss, a co-worker, or a friend's friend, or worse, a waitress or waiter who has the ability and opportunity to spit in your food.  It's always a good idea to be polite to everyone, and it's just the right thing to do.
529608
Be careful if you want to stay in your job, as it sounds like you are clashing with quite a number of people at the moment.  If you are not careful, your upper management will notice, and start to think that you are difficult to work with, or not a team player.\nNext time, address it directly, face to face with the other employee.  If they repeat, then its time to escalate the issue.  Speak with their manager about their non-performance.  Its something I have to do occasionally, and its never fun to go over someone's head, but sometimes, it just has to be done.
668631
It has been my experience that avoiding those kind of people causes them to find ways of attacking you personally. Staying to yourself usually isn't enough in that situation. Either several people will have to go to the boss (or HR) or find a way for the trouble-maker to have duties outside the office. Eventually, the boss should recognize that drama only happens when she is around. Be forewarned, though, most bosses probably won't care and will just dismiss it all as petty cat fighting.
338991
I am a junior in high school and let me tell you the age difference and maturity level is huge between high school and middle school, not to mention how much bigger the difference is when you get to college. you might not see it now but to them it's almost like babysitting you. You might make them laugh because you're probably a funny kid, but that doesn't mean they are best friends with you...they can't talk to you about their relationships, teachers, tests, friends, ext. because you are so much younger. it would be so awkward for me to talk about normal stuff with someone still in middle school. it's fun to be the younger one hanging out with older kids but you need to understand that they have their own lives just like you do. but when you get to high school it will help to know some of the upperclassmen. say hi to them in the halls once in a while, but don't try hanging with them at lunch, they could take it as annoying.
336606
I have found that it is usually best not to mix work life with personal life.  Sure, sometimes people get lucky and become friends through their jobs, and nothing bad happens.  But often the person you become "friends" with will try to take advantage of the situation, or worse, one day may get promoted and become your boss, creating an awkward situation.  Co-workers especially in an office) tend to be back-stabbers who will stop at nothing to get ahead.  They just might "accidentally" tell the boss about a mistake you made and corrected.  Or put you in a position you do not feel comfortable being in (lying to cover for them).  Or steal the promotion/raise that you were supposed to get.
436031
Im one of the people that you'd probably be talking about - in an ideal world yes it would be nice to be more friendly - but in reality?  Most people wake up in the morning and are not happy with having to go to work - therefore the number one goal is to get through the day with as little effort as possible - and that includes making the effort to be pleasant unfortunately.  Maybe other people have their own reasons but thats mine.
604555
Behave yourselvs at work and carry on with work as usual.  Romance out of the premises.  I did that and kept a secret for 2 years, people just thought we were friends.
288431
Unfortunately, having to interact with persons that you do not like is good training for the "real world".  We all have to work, at some time, with someone that we do not want to work with.  The best way to deal with such a person is to treat them with kindness.  If he's looking at you in a threatening way, then smile, and say "How's it going, Man!" and then go on about your business.  If he insults you, then say something like "Hmmm.  I see where you're coming from!" then go on about your business.  In other words, don't feed the fire, and by being "cooperative" you will confuse him when he does not get the reaction that he expected.  On the other hand, if he is threatening you with physical harm, then do not walk away but look him dead in the eye and tell him to "lay off".  Hold your ground, and your eye contact.  Most bullies will run when confronted with determined opposition.  And do alert your teacher or principal if you feel that you are in real danger.
633781
I disagree that women are brutal with each other.  I mean that can be, but I have just moved to a new state and joined a Mother's Club to make friends in California, and the women could not be nicer.  Now maybe it is the Mommy connection, but it seems to me to be proof that it doesn't have to be that way.\n\nI will suggest something that a girlfriend said recently.  Even in this welcoming club of women it seems that when in new social situations people (specifically women) are kind of thrown back to their school days experience - we are suddenly back in 8th grade, and nervous with new people (particularly if we had difficulty making friends as kids).  \n\nIt is hard for folks to get past that kind of thing.  I mean at work you are not friendly with people - in fact you often don't want to reveal too much about your personal life to those people.  We just don't get proper training on how to make friends - I don't think it is a personal trust issue, but more a general personal insecurity issue.\n\nPeace!\n\nPS - I have to say your picture is gorgeous.  If that is you, maybe other women are intimidated by you.  It could be...
28030
Well, you have to aproach people and say like my name is .... and im in your 3rd period. Then ask them what kinda music they like or say that test was hard. and like someone else said, be friendly. always smile. never be really upset when your trying to make friends.
332877
There is a book I bought a long time ago called "Coping with Difficult People" which is like dealing with difficult people. You can buy it at any bookstore under the self-improvement section. Also, talk with your boss and maybe he can resolve your problems you may have with a co-worker. Don't worry, we've all been there. I sympathize with you. However, just a suggestion, you may not want to use that kind of language on Yahoo Answers.
356758
this is why office love is a bad idea.  But stop letting her bully you around.  go to these other so called friends and ask them what is going on.  Hearsay is a nasty habit, and you dont really want to partake in that and you dont want friends who do. I ould also confront the girl saying that you dont need to be friends, but to stop trying to sabotage other realtionships.  if it still presists, then maybe you can transfer out?
268712
I think it's a social thing. Ok ok ok...I know I'm going to get over analytical here, but here goes. Someone will really want to reach out to someone they would like to be friends with. But they don't know what to say. So they figure, find some common ground. Misery loves company they say....right? So if I dog our boss to a co worker...won't he have a comeback and complain right along with me? Or if I go up to someone I barely know and complain about the weather, won't they surely agree with me and help out the conversation with a complaint of their own? \n\nSad part is....it would seriously work the opposite way too. Somehow people just feel safer being on the "complaining" side than being one of the "shiny happy people" that so many want to slap. ;) And why is that? We are often jealous of someone else's happiness because we are still working to achieve our own. \n\nAren't we ever satisfied? yeahhh.....of course we are. But society will always have something to complain about just for the sake of having a common bond. :)