It will break her heart if I tell her I don't think I ever want children again. We love each other so much but I can never go through that anguish again. Has anyone ever had to deal with a situation like this?
135998
There is no greater loss than that of losing a child. I have not experienced it myself, however a few friends have due to drownings, illnesses, and car accidents. The feelings you are having must be very common because all of them experienced the same thing. The woman had a strong desire to have another child and the husband....the protector and provider was very hesitant.\nI don't know how they did it sir. But, each of them had another child and they are the best parents I have ever seen. They don't worry about the small stuff. They enjoy life and their children to the fullest. They find so much joy in their family.\nGod bless you and your family.
504572
No! Explain your feelings to her, and leave it to her to decide! If she is angered, talk divorce. If she understands, why break a GREAT marriage?
187955
I am sorry you seem to be having problems with communication and you aren't alone. A lot of couples don't know how to communicate, and even when they do it's not constructive communication. My suggestion to you is to seek counseling. Even if she isn't willing to go along, at least it can open your eyes and maybe you will be able to sort out your feelings. You do have a daughter, however do not make the same mistake so many others have made. Don't stay together just for the kids sake. Believe me, children sense when the relationship isn't happy. You have to do what's best for everyone involved. So good luck to you!
251905
my friend is going through the exact same thing. she's around 14...so my advice to her was just to seperate herself. she wont' be with those kids much longer...and be confident in who she is! pray through it...that would help too. God bless you and take care!
225735
Have a kid with some one else? Have you tried asking? Maybe you should sit her down and ask if she wants everyone in the world to know that she is basically sterile and if it is okay for you to tell everyone on the Internet that? Lets say by chance you get her pregnant. Its a Girl will you reject the child? Your question says you want a Son. So not only do you want your Girlfriend to do something she cant do but you want her to push out a boy. If all else fails. Tell her you love her and you want to share in the ultimate joy of having children together. Then go to the fertility clinic and work on this together.
23992
It sounds like she has no respect for you and has no consideration for your feelings.  Why would you want to be with a woman like this? Would she be so understanding if you were spending your free time with another woman?  You need to take charge of the situation and put your foot down let her know that this is unacceptable behavior and if she refuses to put a stop to it you know that she is not the one for you.  Ultimately the decision is yours do you want to live this way and if she is not looking out for your childrens best interest than maybe you need to.
244405
I am a doctor and while having wild trouble with my wife, I decided to never be with here again.  I have 2 kids. A few months later, 4 to be exact, I started living with one of my patients, who is 40, and had a wild drive for me since 2 years ago. While being my patient nothing happened, but we started talking after I left my wife, never to return I thought. I lived with this woman for over a year, and that was the happiest time of my life. Nevertheless, my kids were having very serious trouble, and even though I did not wish to see my wife again, I decided to return to my kids and get them out of trouble. I will never stop loving my patient, she was the sweetest girl I've never known, but I cannot live happily with her while my kids are going down hill. I may be damned, but I need my kids to be OK for me to be happy, and they demand my presence. I could never feel happy while being with the woman I love while my kids are going through trouble. You being a virgin is not an issue to me, it should not be an issue to you, it should not be an issue for anybody loving you. What worries me is to find you left aside because this guy is married. I am not saying it is right or wrong, I am saying I doubt he will feel absolutely and sincerely happy with you while thinking about his kids. Been there, done that, don't go there, yo don't want to go there. You'll be happy for a while, and then you will know hell. Excuse my honesty, but I do not wish any human being to go through my experience. Hence I have the need to speak about it. And only anonimously. Take my word: you don't want this.\nPD: I am aged 46.
207153
I think that if it were me... You would be the better choice... less numbers in the equation. your kids and hers wouldnt have to get along since you dont have any. the only thing i can think of is that she might not want to have anymore children and you do. Just talk to her and tell her you want to be a stable father and husband. IF your not to that point tell her what you feel about everything and i mean everything write down questions and answer them and talk to her about them to see how much you have in common.
608486
Sad to hear this. I know the feeling of giving your all to that one girl you truly love. I believe you that it is far more than sex...it's love and companionship. It's that wonderful feeling that you have when you're with her whether in silence or not. The sad part is that she avoids discussing things to questions you deserve answers to.\n\nAt your age, I bet the feeling must be harder. I don't think no answer can quench your thirst but her honesty to why things can't be the same again.\n\nWhen did things started to change? Look back to what you might have done wrong or probably she is not really serious about spending her life with you.  A lot of times, we got to accept the hard facts that things are beyond our control and we have no choice but to accept and move on. \n\nWhat can we do with the pain but acknowledge it and eventually accept and carry on with our lives. Things might not be the same again but surely one day, you'll fall in love over again when you least expect. \n\nGood luck. This stage is hard but things will change, don't let this destroy your life.
105032
coming from a woman point of view that has been where your wife is,"yes the same reasons get tiresome to the ear and heart,we have to leave with the kids somewhere safe until everything dies down and you calm down from being so angry! when we go as far as a restrain order,trust me it's not because we don't love you it's because were afraid,and we do what we can to protect the children as well as ourselves. I'm not upholding you for your wrong doing,yes you need time to get yourself together and give her time to regroup,and maybe she'll forgive you,but remember time brings about a change!get yourself together keep your hands to yourself,stay in counseling and let GOD work on you too!I am a firm believer that she hasn't thrown away 13 years overnight with kids.I pray that it works out between the both of you,but she has the say,now she's in con troll!! good luck "T"
191166
Never lie because I think in the end that causes even more pain. Be honest with him even though it would break your heart to cause him more pain. I understand that, I hate hurting anyone. But in the end he will get over you and realize that he will be ok. For the sake of your child I hope that he is mature enough to handle this and not cause any problems that may result in hurting your child emotionally. Good luck to the both of you.
17840
The sooner you tell her how you feel, the better. If you drag this out, it will be more painful for the two of you. Just sit down with her and discuss the situation like adults and explain to her why you feel that you can't be with her anymore. Don't feel like your reasons aren't good enough. And don't let her convince you to stay with her if you don't want to. She might get emotional, but stand by your feelings and be strong about it.
174537
it will break my heart too!..but they're just kids, they don't know much yet..best thing you do is not to get out of the picture...spend time with them if you are permitted to (don't know your situation anyway)..tell your kids the you love them very much and that the wicked stepmom is just acting it because you're not there..step down to the level that your kids will understand...i'm sure they will get what you mean...as for the stepmom, don't show that you are devastated by this scenario...coz if you do...it will just encourage her more...
115554
I feel so sorry for you. I hate those situations.  She probably wont listen.....so write her a detailed letter.  See what happens and go from there.  At least you'll feel better if you put your thoughts down on paper.  Good Luck!
649720
wow well thats gonna be difficult just because they are so against it. but you are their child so they should love you no matter what...so i think the best thing to do is sit them down after dinner or something and just say i have to tell you something. explain to them how you feel and although they may be very shocked and surprised they should support you as you will always be the same person who is their child\nbest of luck!!
284111
Me and my girl had that same conversation. \n\nWe simply decided that we were to selfish to have kids right now.\n\nWe both work full time jobs, love to sleep in, and we love spending time to our selves. We decided that we have our whole life to have kids, but barley even got a chance to enjoy our lives together. I didn't want to struggle with my kid. I want to have a house and give my kid all that it may need, and right now I'm still working on that. \n\nAsk him if he wants to make you happy, and if so waiting a few years will not hurt anybody and it will give you time to learn each other! Your smart to be cautious!
400985
try to talk to her one more time, go there personally, tell her what's in your heart, and tell her u need to be with her, and if you can't have your family back, than u need to move on with life, because your not happy being alone. and wait for her response. if she isn't interested than there's no choice but to file for divorce and move on and start over again. but confront her first with how u are feeling, before u file for divorce.