My ex broke up with me because I did not treat him like a real man.  But I am a woman, so how was I suppose to treat him.  We have a child together but I had to always make all the decisions regarding raising her, he never took any control of the situation, even though I asked him to.  Is there anything written someway on this subject or should his father have taught him how to be a man?
125746
He broke up with you b.c. you didn't treat him like a real man?... \nI think a real man is a man who sets asides his feelings to protect his women EVEN if he is hurt inside and Even if his women is wrong... that is what a REAL MAN is all about.  A REAL MAN sets asides his feelings to comfort his women in all types of situations b.c. he is the MAN.   There aren't that many types of men left out here.  = (
548967
You know, it's usually the nicer guys that mind, which sucks.  Because a nice guy thinks, what if I become really involved and then it doesn't work out, I'm going to be hurting her, and the child...\n\nBut also there's a real problem with some women trying to "rope in" a guy.  From what I've heard on the radio is that if you even lived with someone with a child and then break up, she can claim child support, because even though you're not the father, you acted as a father figure.  So because of stuff like that we're also a little bit scared.\n\nSo if a guy is really into you, it won't be a problem, actually if your kid is well behaved, it might even be a bonus, but the problem is that many guys won't even give it a shot because of the possible complications.\n\nI think the biggest thing here is confidence.  If you show a guy that you're perfectly happy as you are (even if that's not 100% so) and that you want him because you like him as a person and not because you want to find a father figure for your son/daughter, or get a second stream of income, then he might actually spend enough time with you to get to know you and take things from there.\n\nGood luck.
392942
Its very immature of your ex to take it out on the child.\n\nKids need to see their Dads.\n\nTry and sort it out, otherwise if he doesnt make contact then just let it be
189636
you need to sit back down with daddy and let him know that although you may have put yourself in the relationship.. no one has the right to hit another. people always have the option to walk away.  tell daddy that even he has made mistakes in his life.. so it is unfair to judge you so harshly.  now you have to be more careful in choosing someone.. and you also have to make sure the ex.. is not around watching you.  you must stay safe. most importantly.. it is not your fault. now if you seek out the same type of man..again.. then i might blame you.  smile. look for the warning signs.. a man who wants to separate you from your family and friends.. a man who wants total control.. a man who is too  good to be true.  a man who calls you constantly and is jealous over everyone you come in contact with. a man who wants to question everything you have done in life. and remember there is mental .. physical and verbal abuse.  do not take it from anyone.  good luck
167670
YOU NEED TO GET THE DIRT ON HIM, IF HE IS BAD PROVE IT THEY WILL NOT GIVE CUSTODY TO SOMEONE WHO CANT TAKE CARE OF THEMSELVES, FIGHT FOR YOUR KIDS AND WHEN YOU WIN TAKE HIM FOR ALL HE'S GOT. I AM TIRED OF DEAD BEAT DADS TRYING TO RUN FROM THIER RESPONSIBILITY'S. HE NEEDS TO BE A MAN OR FACE THE CONSEQUENCES
346601
This one is one I am more than glad to answer.\nI am a female and I will be the first to say that it is usually WOMEN playing the game and still in process to try and piss Mr. Dad off any way possible (regardless of why you broke up).\nI have two daughters from my first husband and when they were 1 years and 2 years old, I went in the hospital (for 9 months) and when I came out my husband was married to My-SISTER! I went on ahead and got my divorce and we all lived in the same city. I hated both him and my sister, although that had NOT a thing to do with my kids and their DAD. \nI mean Yeah! I think and feel the way I do about him (just about all negative feelings) but that is kept to myself and the kids see Daddy anytime they want. \nI know in court you have to have a so called Planned-Visit Schedule, but that is on paper...Realistically the only thing that would hold me from letting him have any time with them, is if he sexually or physically/ mentally bothered them...Cause that is their DAD...And tehy will always remember that. Mom may feel like she is winning, but when the kids get older, that will fall back on her and hit her straight in the face. Just like I hate my mom to this day, from not allowing me to have a Daddy in my life.\nI truly hope you wife will wake the hello up and grow-up thinking of the kids first regardless of what broke the two of you up, you are still DAD.\nGood Luck!
673436
If he treats you badly , he doesn't have any respect for you and with no respect there can never be a solid relationship between two people.  You should however maintain a "friendship" for the sake of your son but if I were you I would  focus on something other than being with him. I understand that you still love him and break ups are sometimes hard to get over but if he has already moved on than that should tell you that the amount of love and respect he has for you is very little if not non existent. You need to set your standards higher in your next relationship because you deserve someone that will love and honor you and when you do find the man that treats you like a queen you will think back to him and realize that he wasn't worth the love that you felt for him. Remain civil with him for your son's sake and never , ever show him that you are weak.
626776
You can see his point but also your dealing with a little girl who has no knowledge of grown up things, so sit down with him and explain that someday she will give him the right to be called Daddy but he has to be cool about it. Otherwise this little girl will resent him thinking because of him she doesn't see her Father, notice a different in Daddy and father. It takes a special kind of man to be called Daddy. He needs to be there for her and allow her to grow with him and not use this as a pawn to see how you feel about the ex.
663774
Some men need to feel like they have control over EVERYTHING.  Believe me-been there done that.  I dated a guy who was extremely controlling, manipulative, and verbally abusive.  Took a year before I gave him the boot.  He needed to be in control of everyone and everything around him.  I think it's a sickness.
39181
dude, i can relate. maybe we've known each other from childhood. i am also a ladies' man (not the playboy kind but the gentleman kind) and i've seen and been with women with mates who treat them like dirt. and somehow, i've managed to make some of them to wake up and break up (ooh, a rhyme!!!)\n\nsee, what i do is, i protect the girl in any means possible, be there for her when she need a shoulder to cry on, and probably (but never did) kick the guys sorry a**!!! women are fascinating people that should never be taken advantage of, so that's why i try my best to be the gentleman they want. consistent persuasion might work, and don't let the girl look at herself as a doormat. she should learn to get respect from her partner, coz deep down, we know we only want their happiness...\n\n=P ~^_^~
410683
Men are men! Some speak different languages, some different ideas and values. However, they are all men. The way they treat you is an individual thing, depends on the man. God bless****
93749
Girl you do not want to be the girl on the side trust me from what i experienced its not good i was in a similar situation but vice versa he left me for another chick and i was miserable for months i finally learned to keep my head up and there he was wanting me back but he didnt want to leave his girl b/c she had no where to go so b/c i was so in love with him i went along for the ride but it was wrong for me to do that b/c i was just hurting myself id did so much for him and didnt ddeserve to be treated this way no woman does and sometimes you should move with the best intentions for him and especially now that he might have another baby mama just adds more drama to your life and you dont deserve that baby girl just move on and really time will tell how things will work out for the both of you. From one woman to another.
97097
Girls nowadays should know how to handle themselves even without a man.  I have always been an independent woman but God always gives me someone that I will depend upon.  When I got pregnant I told the father that I will not force him to marry me just because I'm pregnant and I don't want him to take the responsibility to be a father when he is not ready. And guess what?  He was the one who got down on his knees and beg for me to marry him.  So, don't be afraid to leave a man who cannot be a man enough to face responsibilities. No one should tell you what to do if he is not worth obeying. There are other guys out there who will get down on their knees for you, you deserve someone better, girl.
354312
Your question brought tears to my eyes.  Your life sounds like mine when I was 20.  My so called boyfriend and I are 5 years apart also and we have a child together.  Your fiance sounds just like mine years ago. The life you are living is a hard one, I can feel your pain.   I left my boyfriend several times because of his controlling crazy ways. My friends werent good enough, he didnt like me to go out, he was jealous of anything and everything.  And he accused me of sleeping with anybody and everybody (male, female, dog, cat, if I looked at it I was sleeping with it).  He couldnt hold down a job either.  He was a good father also.  Remember men like this make good fathers because they are CONTROLLING. I used to think is this all there is for me like you do but trust me its not.  You can take your child and raise it by yourself.  I raised 2 kids at your age by myself.  Trust me this man is only going to drag you down.  Here I am years 15 years later and I am STILL going back and forth with the same man.  Only difference is now he has changed he is no longer that controlling jerk he used to be.  But it took 15 years to get here. And that is only because he matured in some areas but in other areas he is still a jerk.  We dont live together so why am I holding on? I am working on myself now to figure that out.  My question to you is.  Do you want to wait 15 years like me for this man to finally treat you with the respect you deserve? I can see your like me, you need to save yourself from yourself.  I thought I was in love, funny thing is I still do, but I also know what is best for me.  Men like this never change.  Mine changed his controlling ways but only because he had no choice.  I have figured out through the years that guys like this are always going to find a way to hurt you.  The hurt never stops.  Don't say you made your bed so you should lie in it.  No one deserves the kind of treatment you receive.  I really think you will be able to make a good life for you and you child.  I did.  I am successful and have 2 great kids.  Funny thing is now "jerk" wants to settle down.  But the past is some thing you never forget.  Especially when he is still doing little stupid things that hurt me.  Like I said the hurt never stops.  I would love to give you strength and advice to help you through this because I can sense there is probally more to your story just like their is more to mine.  Dont think you are being selfish.  That was my problem years ago.  I put everyones happiness before my own.  Only sacrifice you need to make is for your child, remember that.  Your child needs to be raised in a loving argue free environment.  It is going to be hard.  Beause this guy has ahold of your mind, more than a hold on your heart.
78531
i'm also tired of idiot ignorant wannabe men.  here i am, a young boy, who always figured i was just a little boy.  but lately i've realized that i lead by example, i can actually skew the curve of what a woman should expect of a real man.  any guy who loves a girl should treat said girl like the dread pirate roberts in relation to the princess bride.  you ask your man "would you do the dishes?"  he should say "as you wish" and then get busy doing the dishes a.s.a.p.  you ask your man "have any interest in sweeping the house"?  he should say "as you wish", and then get busy sweeping right then....not tomorrow.  you say "make me dinner, sweetie".  he should reply "as you wish", and he should get off the couch and make you some good healthy real food........not run to mcdonalds with your credit card.  i wish you luck.
113722
This may sound a little wishy-washy, but your dads probably not mad at you, so much as he is at himself. he probably See's himself as a failure for not "raising you right" and not protecting you from this situation. I'm not saying your situation is wrong, just that as a father he probably wanted better for you. Seeing you, reminds him of this feeling of his own failure as a father and protector. the best fix i could think of is time. As he See's you change in his own mind from a little girl into a mother, his attitude will also change.
492025
Yes, most judges will heavily weigh what the guardian ad litem suggests; and your ex and his attorney know it.\n\nYou should stand your ground.  If you think this man is a bad influence for your child, then he probably is.  I am tired of people who blame you for your past mistakes.  As Oprah Winfrey always says, "when you know better, you do better."  I think these are great words to live by.  Clearly, the GAL agrees with you.  Anyone who stalks the mother of thier child is not a healthy human being and you should not have to put up with that behavior.\n\nIt is especialy important if your child is male.  If he sees his dad treat you in a demeaning or improper way, he will learn to model that behavior and perpetuate it in his future relationships.  Time to nip it in the bud!\n\nGood Luck!