He has not paid for the majority of the 5 years they have been divorced, mostly because he has not had job, or been in prison.  I would like to see his bi-weekly visitation rights taken away.  Not to mention we have to take the kids to him and pick them up because he nor his live-in-gf have a vehicle.  He also has another child with the new woman. The only reason that my girlfriend's kids don't throw a fit when they have to go to their dad's is because they enjoy seeing their little brother.  However the kids are not old enough in the eyes of the court to make thier own decision. (they are 9 and 6)  We are about to move in together and we will live an hour or so away from the kids' dad.  What can we do to revoke his rights.  Or at least make it where he only can see them if he pays or when we deem it acceptable for him to see them.  He is also not just a non-payer.  He is not a very good father, he does not play with them or help with homework or anything a "good" fthr shd do, hlp plz.
132212
I have been divorced 7 years and have received about $1000 dollars from my ex-wife. I have raised my son and daughter since they were 12 & 6. My son is now on his own and of course my daughter is still home. I have taken my ex to court 5 times and she still won't pay (it has cost me about $1,500). I have taken the action on my own since she doesn't seem to care. I made up excuses why they couldn't go over but soon relized that she didn't want to go to jail so she didn't do much. It is up to the courts to decide the ultimate outcome. Your children will figure out what is going on as they get older. I found out by speaking positive things about their mother all these years helped me not look like the bad guy. My children now understand what kind of person their mother is on their own. I pray for people like us to prosper in all ways despite having a parent not caring for their own children. GOD BLESS
473548
child support is not a magical number that the judge pulls out of his butt.  child support is based on the income of the mother, the income of the father etc.  the state has a chart and depending on what the father makes a figure is computed. in other words x+y=z.  unfortunately i see alot of cases come through my court where the father is the one 99% of the time paying child support.  and even worse the state does not factor in if the father has a mortgage, utilities, food expenses etc.  it sucks big!  i get so angry sometimes in court, but we have to maintain our proffessionalism.  and as soon as these women find out that the father has obtained a second job, they petition the court for more money because he has more income.  I had a case last week that was just absolutely insane.  the man was a capt. in the army and he was ordered to pay alimony, child support, and maintain the mortgage on the house that she got during the divorce and he no longer resides in.  in the end with all the money he was paying out to her, she ended up receiving more of his income than he did.  I have even had many men blatently tell the judge that they would rather go to jail than to pay.  I think in regards to reaching what amount he or she should pay, the state should take into considering what he/she pays out in living expenses and then factor child support. unfortunately the state feels that if you have to live under a bridge they don't care as long as they pay.  you can always repetition the court and present your case and see if they will lower his support amount.
540103
Doesn't sound to me that the parents should have any kind of custody and only supervised visits. You are doing what you know is right and the parents obviously don't care about the child. I'd go back to court as soon as possible and have things changed, for the child's sake. They are going to ruin him beyond repair if they keep doing what their doing. His health and welfare are in danger.
676751
Man, I just went through this! If her bio. father pays child support, then yes he must be contacted to sign away his rights even if she has NEVER laid her eyes on him. If he doesn't pay or contribute in any way, when your child has gone without ANY paternal support for 5 consecutive years, then all you have to do is run it in the classified ads in your town for 4 weeks. The newspaper will give you an affidavit and you will have to sign one stating that you have not received any support from her bio. father. After that point, it is pretty smooth sailing. Hopefully you won't get an A-hole for a judge like I did... the same judge that ordered my son's father to only pay $96 a month for support <--- Please try to hold your laughter until the end of the paragraph. Thank you.
493313
I think Prisons have free divorce help, he needs to ask. If not, the papers are free on line. With no children, and no assets, he should have no problem filing as a low income person in the state, or one of the counties he is incarcerated in. Just needs to check on the computer for prices in each county.
182038
One other thing you might want to consider is this.  What if he cannot afford to pay more?  Then he'll quit paying, go to jail and you won't get a dime.\n\nI agree that he is fully responsible for those kids so I am not taking sides here.  But I have seen so many people go to jail because they could not afford to pay the amount ordered by the court.\n\nBy the way, I do legal representation/work here in Texas.\nBe careful you don't make it worse on yourself!
81253
sounds like mother is no good. if he is an adult why is dad still paying child support? money should go to son automatically! maybe son should go to FOTC and dispute that case. let me know if you need my help. ntjack02@yahoo.com. and good luck god bless you.
462090
restaing order and she needs to think about getting a lawyer and a new court case to have him pay chidl support. but if he is only paying 13 bucks a month its not worth the trouble.  and besides if he doesnt pay child support he can't see the child. (at least thats the law in oklahoma) so restaing order and move on with life.
142435
No one ever said Divorce and Mediation was going to be easy, that's a little inside joke, SO let me ask you this On the child's birth Certificate Did your Ex-husband signed the part where it has the name of the Father of the Child ? does the child have his last name ? those are two matters that are important to you and the baby right now, Yes there is Help in situations like this and most women that face this same problem are not aware of their rights and don't know what services are available in the state of Oklahoma, the SRS office isn't just set up for people going on welfare and food stamps, We are here to help you, If you are a legal resident of the state of Oklahoma, you have rights in this State that you don't have in other States, that's why people move from State to State to get these rights, and lucky for you and your child, maybe that's why more people are getting divorced because of those rights, because women are really getting screwed over, when their husband Divorce them, The DNA test won't cost you anything if he's contesting the birth of the child after he signed the birth Cert, and has his last name on birth cert, because I'm sure like all young men in this State do find out in the end, He had plenty of time 120 days after the child was born to contest the birth then, and If he's using this as a divorce reason then SRS can help assist you and the child to conclude a DNA sample by getting it court ordered for him to have this done, Here's the fun part sweety ! If he is the Father he'll have to pay the state for getting this test done, $350.50 and he'll be ordered to pay child support from the day he filed for Divorce, That comes to around park figure of about $380.00 per month up to $425.00 per month yes this is just on one child, the discount comes from the Second child, this was done due to cost of living in the state of Oklahoma, If you know someone making less than that have them to go back to court to have their child support updated, If you need assistance contact the SRS in your county and they will assist you in this matter, By law I can't give you to much advice, unless you're assigned to me as you case worker. And I've been working for the state for over 22 years now. Not all male case workers are that bad and we're not out to get back at the women here...LOL..Besides I can really see your point on being upset when your husband is playing games with you and the child there, and continues to mess around by blaming you for it too... Give us a chance to teach these guys a lesson for you too, maybe word will get around better after we are done... LOL
135195
I'm not a lawyer but I have 23yrs of law enforcement experience. You really didn't give enough info for me to say. It depends on many factors; such as what were terms of your divorce, why he hasn't been in kids' lives, financial support, his reason for sudden interest and any claims he's making to help him gain custody, any personal problems or negative actions by either of you,etc. Assuming you were awarded custody originally and there were not and are not now any extenuating circumstances that drastically change the original status of his behvior/situation or yours or the children and he basicly just decided he wants custody chances are slim the court would change the managing conservator status you hold unless he can show you to be an unfit mother. He might be able to negotiate visitation rights but doubtful the court would disrupt the children's lives without just cause.
100302
He should check with a lawyer about joint custody. The support would probably be 50/50 and the custdy would be 50/50. I think she could move either way. I think she might be pre-preparing for supporr court. More time = more money? Either way she'll get the money (arears) and the chidren will suffer in the meantime. If the get along well they could work it out (legally) in the form of a contract. He could use the threat of court as leverage, but I would chek with a lawyer.
537403
Well first I will comend you for taking care  of your grandchildren. It's not your place but you are good for doing it. Not to be harsh but it really sounds like your daughter is craving the wrong kind of attention from men. She needs a hard dose of reality that men like that are no good and often are the ones who are crazy. As for you and the children in your care i would seriously consider moving. However you can pretty much find anyone on the internet. It's a terrible situation you daughter has put you in. I dont believe the police will do anything unless he makes threats or actually harms you. The thing that sucks is the same basic rights protecting you are the same rights he has even though he is an abuser. IN ANY CASE if are afraid for your life or your loved ones I would still call the police and see what they can do. Because state laws vary i may not be accuate on what the police can or can not do. I'll say a prayer for you and I hope everything works out ok for yoy.
607678
Yep- you should let him. Hate to say this but I know. My mom didn't let us see our deadbeat dad ( for good reason I found out years later) but SHE was the one I ended up resenting. I left home at 15- on Mother's Day- 9 years ago to go live with my dad. In retrospect, now that I'm grown and I'm a mom- I see what she meant. Why SHOULD he get to see the kids whenever he wants when you're the one doing all the work? But- kids NEVER see it that way. Be the better person, let the kids see his dad. That way, the kid can see and learn for himself that the guy is no good and he wont even want to go over there.
516127
huni.. ive just finished a court case.. and yer rite its not nice. but somtimes it gives em a kick up the arse they need.. my ex went for full custody.. when i let him see my son when evr he wanted.. but wasnt satisfied with that.. so after the case he gets 1 nite evry 2 weeks... nothing to wot he had.. and also has to pay maintanance.. no the judge wont side with him hun.. \ni was devastated when he took me to court i thort i was gona loose my son.. hes 9 by the way.. and always lived with me.. and the thort of loosing him put me on prozac.. but i  got threw it and he got nothing.. and if i let him see him more then he is grateful  and so he shud be after all he put me threw..i don want my son to not see his dad but they do make it very very hard for you to get on with things ...let us no how you go on chick good luck x
273556
I would have him investigated. Seriously talk to people who really know him. Maybe he's just trying to ease his guilt of being a deadbeat dad for 7 yrs. What ever his intentions are he is not doing it for your child. I've never seen a child that could not sense good intentions in an adult, they are very perceptive. Your right in being concerned. Talk to your attorney. about keeping him away...and I would not put his name on her  birth certificate. That is something she will have her whole life. Doesn't sound like she would like to see his name anywhere near hers.
435927
Google "fathersrights"  there is a lot of free advice and links to help dads. See if there is a local chapter in MO where he can get legal advice and suggestions on line.Thousands of dads are fighting to be active in their kids lives, from jail and a lot of ex's goal is to keep them in there by filing OPs and having them arrested under false charges. Tell him to hang on and never give up!
579719
First of all...I would report the other two idiots for their stupid "too long" answers. \n\nThen, I have to say.... AMEN to you. You are saying what a lot of us out there would like to say. I completely agree with you. They suck the welfare and help systems dry and abuse them and cry that they have no help from the other parent. BS - they can go out and get a job like the rest of us. I work hard to support their ungrateful butts and I hate it. We are non-custodial parents and we have to work a little harder because he pays child support but that's ok - they are beautiful children and it's THEIR money, NOT, their mother's. \n\nThat's another thing that these custodial parents don't understand that really bothers me the most, it's that the money that they get in child support is not for them. It's to support the children. Clothing, food, roof over their heads, etc. \n\nI guess I've ranted enough, thank you and I hope you are being heard.