Just taking a poll on monogamy. How many people are actually faithful? Why did you cheat? Or why did you choose to stay true?
136176
No. The way I feel is if my spouse or signifigant other does not make me happy then chances are I am not making him happy, so best for all is to move on.
491677
I feel the same about my wife.  I still love her but I look at other women & find them sexy & want to be unfaithfull but I have never done it.  It's a difficult one but all we are doing is denying ourselves a beutifull sex life.  I think all that you could do is have casual sex with no strings & try not to let your partner find out.
567996
Wow i love this question. Thanks so much for bringing this one up. I wonder this too. Why do people even marry if the are going to cheat and be unfaithful? Vows should mean everything to people and they should live by them until death do they part. These kind of people should not even marry in the first place if they are not gonna be commited and faithful to their marriage and partner for the rest of their days and lives together. WAKE UP CALL.... Don't say I do if you cant! People do this because they are selfish and dont want to give and live up to their end of the bargain or deal that they vow to. Basically they want to have their cake and eat it too!
228021
It's possible to be in love with several people at the same time. Confusing, but possible.\nSome people believe that people are not naturally monogamous - that monogamy, like other forms of marriage, is a cultural construct. As such, not everybody fits into the same square holes. This can cause people a lot of trouble, but it is best to be honest with yourself, and then with the lovers in your life. \nAfter wife # 1 (a complete disaster) I knew I couldn't be monogamous, and with wife # 2, I told her this and we had an open marriage. It lasted 5 years, and we are still good friends. Neither one of us was particularly jealous by nature, and I know many other people who aren't. Having lived through it though, I no longer embrace open marriage. I keep my extra lovers on the fantasy level, and keep my real relationship real.
421456
Well, it would have been nice had you used spell check first...\nYour question is hard to read for those of us that actually speak and write in English...\n\nSo my answer to this is, which marriage were you speaking of???\nI am on marriage number 3 and at my age it would be foolish to act like a virgin this far into my life...\nI know others that are in their 5th marriage;  you think they should wait too???\nJust exactly how much holier are you than the rest of us???\nMy previous 2 marriages had the exes walk out on me because of cheating, and I was not at fault...\nSo we should study that aspect more don't you think???\nI do not agree with your logic or attitude... Sorry...\nYou could never make it work...\nHow would you ever prove it???
65813
I think that you may have miss spelled that word. Did you mean polygamous? I am not sure how many and I know that it is defiantely not for me. However, even though it is illegal there are some out there that choose this lifestyle.
73304
first off, thats not polygamy. And unless everything is on the table its not polyamory. What you are doing is cheating unless you have permission from your wife. If you don't have her blessing? You're an idiot playing with dynomite
122671
Married or not if you have a commitment with someone you should not cheat. You should ask yourself if you are wanting to cheat on someone, why not just leave that person and let them move on to someone who cares for them. I consider cheating when you do anything intimately with another person other than your significant other. That could be holding hands, intercourse, kissing, and even sharing and in depth meaningful conversation. It is wrong because you are taking something sacred from your partner. People, I think cheat because they need some kinda of reassurance that they can attract someone other than they're partner. This is caused by low self esteem. If you are contemplating this don't hurt your partner for your own self gratification. ITS WRONG
658955
I believe that it is very unnatural to only be with one person. It is human nature to want to spread our seed. However, if you have decided to commit yourself to one person you must be true to them and only them. If you don't think it would be possible for you participate in a monogamous relationship, maybe you need to find another person that shares your same ideas and values on relationships.
30094
I think that commitment has been mistaken with monogamy. I don't think that any man, gay or straight wants to be fully monogamous. We like to dip our stick, and variety. But there are people that will refrain or can contain those urges. I thin it's irrational. YOu can have a commitment and not be monogamous, and if you both agree to that, even better! (no nead for cheating)
620713
I have been in both situations.  When i cheated in long-term relationships it was because i had gaping, aching needs that were not being met in my relationship but i wanted to keep the primary relationship because of various reasons like love, the kids, social acceptance, financial, codependence, etc.\n\nNow i am in a long term relationship and not cheating and it is so wonderful to finally be fully open and honest.  Such a relief.  Now i see that  my deception made it impossible for my primary relationship to be satisfying to me.  Because i was distancing myself from it by the cheating.  I understand the motivations to cheat.  But i don't recommend it.  Deception is a wound on the soul.  A gash down the middle of your life.
93025
My husband cheated on me shortly after we got together...but I did say he's my husband, right?  He swears up and down to never do it again, it's hard to forget, but I have forgiven him and am still, after 2 1/2 years trying to forget.  It's not easy, but I love him too, and don't want to let go.  He respects me for forgiving him, and since I gave him a second chance, he will be faithful to me.
143412
Why would you want to date someone that already has shown a tendency to cheat?\n\nWhat if her boyfriend is some who can beat the **** out of you (and maybe even her)?\n\nMore trouble than it's worth...\n\nThat's just dumb.
128512
Those of you that have said no to this, but have commented on why people cheat, and judge those that do, have really got no right to judge/comment unless they have been there and done that themselves or have been on the receiving end. As for me, yes I have cheated. Nearly 5 years into my marriage, we started having alot of problems. We weren't spending quality time together or communicating and there was no sex. When I tried talking to him on a deep and meaningful level, I got no input from him. I told him repeatedly that I was unhappy in our marriage and even to the point where I asked him if he would come to marriage counselling with me. He refused! I spent more and more time on the internet chatting to my friends until I got talking to a guy from Germany. Eventually, I was telling him about my marriage problems and how unhappy I was. From what started out as a friendship on the net and someone to talk to once or twice a week, ended up developing into something more and talking every day. It got to the stage where I hardly spent any time with my husband at all and he knew I was chatting on the internet. This guy from Germany told me he had developed feelings for me and was flying down to Melbourne to meet me. I kept it quiet from my husband and told him I was going away for a couple of weeks and that we needed the break. I picked this guy up from the airport and we drove interstate together and holidayed for two weeks. Yes, we had the most wonderful time together and when it was time for him to leave, he wanted to come back to Australia again and visit me. I felt so guiltly for cheating on my husband that when I returned home, I told my husband and also told him it was over between us and I moved out of the house. The guy from Germany and myself continued on with our relationship for about a year. The second time he came here, he spent a month with me in Melbourne where I was living at the time. Sadly though it didn't work out because long distance relationships are just too hard to maintain and there was no future for us because I found out in the end that he had no plans to marry and live in Australia. Some people think that people who cheat on their partners are scum, well most often than not, the people that are the cheaters, suffer as well. I'm not condoning cheating and I'm sorry for what I did but I not only lost my house (I left it to my husband)and security, but I nearly lost my family as well because they didn't agree with what I had done and my brother-in-law disowned me for awhile. If I could take back what I did, I would, but as the saying goes, what's done is done and my advice is to anyone that is thinking of cheating on their partners, don't! He'll end up finding out and if he doesn't, you'll have to live with the guilt for the rest of your life (if you have a conscious). For 2 to 3 years after I left my husband, I was an emotional mess. I cried constantly for the hurt that I brought upon my husband and also my family. If your marriage is in turmoil, communication is the key to a long and lasting marriage, so try and talk things through, seek a marriage counsellor if you have to and if all else fails, tell your partner you are leaving before you do something you will regret later! Life wasn't meant to be easy and you have to constantly put the time and effort in to make a relationship work! I learnt the hard way.....
419762
There is a 14 year age differance between my husband and I. He was married when we met. We all decided to try polygamy because I love him and he loves me and her and couldn't lose either one of us.
347219
I didn't cheat but my ex-husband did. I guess that tells you how it ended. When we went to my parents house to spend weekends he was sneaking out with my younger sister after I fell asleep. My sister confided in my brother and my brother confided in me in return. So my loss was my jerk of a husband(no big loss) and the love of my sister(big loss). We do talk (now) but we will never be best friends as sisters should be. I did forgive her but I will never trust her again but she did open my eyes to what was going on behind my back not only with her but with several other girls where we lived I came to find out later.
335593
Once a cheater always one, believe that for alot of reasons.  Biggest one is they feel it's ok to do it, or they wouldn't have done it.  second is that the trust is gone, and it will affect the relationship, and therefore, giving them more reason to go out and find someone else.