I am 22 and every man I meet has a child.  I am not trying to be selfish but I want a family of my own and I am afraid that I will never meet someone who wants to begin a family.  I am not rushing anything but it's something I know I will worry about in the future.  Is is possible to start a family with men that already have children?  Am I selfish for wanting a man with no prior kids?
134606
No it is no selfish honesty one of the most beautiful things are to find someone who love and love you in return, if you are looking for someone without a family to start a family of your own is the best to you can do, if he has a child/children he will be split between you and his child/children you will feel he not give to you the attention you want and deserve and his child/children will feel jealous(if you marry him [Hypothetical case] when both have Child/children of your own there will be a favouritism to him for his own child/children and a favouritism to you to your for own child/children, and the children may no get along, and who will suffer is the one who must not the children)other trouble to be considerate is the mother of his child/children if she is alive she will be a constant trouble in the relationship because the child/children will always Love his/her/their mom and she(the mom)will hate you(or never get along with you)and This situation will cause conflict in the relationship(and the family if you marry him [Hypothetical case] and a family with that troubles will cause pain on the children that not deserves it), and if she is death you must consider other trouble you will live always at her shadow specially for him he may not love for who you are but for what you do for him and his child/children and he may not love for who you really are but for the memory you bring to him of his past love, and his child/children may never accept you the child/children will feel you are trying to replace his/her/their mom.\nConclusion: At contrary it will be selfish to try to replace the mother of his child/children and want to be with him despite the happiness of the child/children, I honesty can not be happy with a woman than have a child/children for all this reasons, i prefeer to have a familly of my own and find a good woman who think as i do when both want to have a familly of their own it is easier to be good parents and raise child/children in a better way.\n\nP.D. I beg your pardon for this long answer but I want to be quite sure to be able to respond to your question as best as it is possible to me in order to provide you as much help as I can offer to you I hope to be of any help to you.
452208
It depends a lot on the guy.  I was the 1st girl my boyfriend ever dated that had kids.  He had refused up to that point to date a woman that had kids, or who had been divorced.  He contends the kids are why he is reluctant to go further than date me.  We have been together for 6 yrs.  But some guys absolutely love kids, and are ready to start a family.  You have to play it by ear and always tell the truth about those sorts of things.
77468
OK, 1. you are to young to have kids or have sex for that matter. 2. you don't have good jobs if you even have a job at all to support 1 kid let alone 15, and 3. you are still a kid yourself why would you want to give that up to raise another kid when you are still a kid yourself. Listen, my advice is to leave having kids for after college and when your married. Believe me it is better that away. Don't rush what will come one day. And you also said you don't see each other much how do you know the true him what about if this is just an act to get some.
650097
I don't think you are the only woman who doesn't want any children because I know many women who do and others who don't want children.  That's your choice and your right not to have children.  Unfortunately, I think I'm a little out of your league because I'm older than what you are looking for, but don't lose hope and don't give up.  I'm sure that what you are looking for is out there somewhere.  Good luck and take care.  My best wishes to you always.
359694
You know what I am 19 and I cant find a nice guy. Maybe your that nice guy. Having a kid should not stop you from finding a girl. I bring my niece and nephew with me and all the guys flock to me LOL. Having a kid is a plus in your life and no one should come before it. There is someone out there for you and I am sure you will find them. If you want to get to know me or want some help shoot me a email. Click my face LOL.
268012
Because we dont want to end up raising more children than nessisary in the future. I have actually no kids but I always tell people I have a 36 year old son, of course I am refering to my husband.
69339
This is my honest answer... I'm a 21 year old guy\n\nyour a mother of two at 21? honestly thats a major red flag. I could see makeing one mistake and haveing a kid but 2? Thats a sign of someone who makes some real bad decisons.  Plus your asking this question in the first place thats another red flag.  I wouldn't want to get involved with someone elses kids no matter how great you are really just because I don't want to add all that baggage to my life.  You may be the greatest thing ever but I probally will never find out because there are many 21 year old girls out there with out kids.  But thats just me I'm sure there are others that would take a chance at getting involved and maybe fall in love with you and your kids and I will bet that as you get older it will get easier.
219507
Your apprehesion is valid.  You should only have children if it is what the both of you want, not for one or the other.  If you end up having children with this man, make very sure it is something you will enjoy and appreciate for yourself in addition to pleasing him.  Could you imagine having children for him only to have a horrible relationship with him down the road?  What relationship would you and the new children have if they were intended to be a gift to him and not to yourself as well?  By making the decision to do this for yourself, you will be a better mother to your new kids.  If you decide you are finished having children, then he will have to deal with that in his own way.
94211
In my opinion I find it morally wrong.  I agree with what you are saying.  Just for a couple of bucks you are going to be a father to a child you won't see speak to see its first steps all that good stuff about raising a child.  Even more I wouldn't do it for a million dollars.  I once met a guy at a school who told me he sold one of his testicles for like 25,000 because he had such a high sperm count.  I find it shallow immoral and indecent.  Imagine going to heaven and God asks you about children you never met.  I couldn't do it.  Finally why is a woman that desperate to get pregnant?  Does she have the means to support herself and a child?  Does she have a father figure that will be there night and day day and night.  Is that father figure truly reliable?  There are numerous questions that can be asked and must be thought over.
233929
They say that if people waited til they could really afford it before they had a baby, no one would have any children, ever.\n\nHowever, 24 is very VERY young. Other people having children around you should not influence your decision.  The guy you're dating, although you don't say much about him, has alot of children already that he presumably doesn't live with. Perhaps not the best support,having a baby is hard work.\nAsk yourself\nWill you live with your partner for 18 years or more?\nIs he a good father/do you want him to be the father of your children?\nCan you be completely selfless?\nCan you give up your life as you know it?\nCan you give a child the very best start in life?\n\nIf you can answer yes to those questions you are ready. If not, or if you just want a dolly that will call you momma, you're really not.
92727
I am a single mother and I have had guy's that are interested. It is good in a way because most guys who are not sincere wont bother with you. But it is also bad because you have the child to think about and how it will affect him or her. I don't think it's a matter of hot or not as much as it is for them to be like family or not. It is hard for alot of men to deal with the fact that there is another man and always will be but it is a good way to find a man who is true in his word.
674475
You just tell them how you honestly feel. You can't concern yourself with if they are going to be hurt or not. Both men and women have a hard time finding a partner when they have young kinds, unfortunately its worse for the woman with young kids. Its a matter of choice, and if you prefer not to date someone with young kids, that is your perogative and you have the right to make that decision. What's important here is your happiness in life with another.
367471
im 23 and i have a son in 1st grade. im in college, work, and me and my son live on our own. i get lonely. i have almost no friends because im so picky about who i share my personal info and feelings with and who my son is around and the people that i associate with. but when ever i think about being in a relationship i look at the entire picture and i see myself alone with another child and debt or something like my husband cheating or just negative stuff, i call that my birth control since im not doing anything.\n\nim stopping there before i fill up the entire page and i would like to say i would really enjoy being yahoo buddies and chatting about all types of things, because i know those lonely feelings.
627267
I cannot tell you how bad I feel that someone hurt you sooo much when you were little.  I wish I could change it for you.\n\nHowever, Why are you trying to get pregnant and your not married??  I'm not judging you.  It's just that, if he has not committed to marry you and stay with you, are you in a position to take care of a child by yourself??  I only ask because I am a Mother of 3 girls.  Two of whom got pregnant with their boyfriend.  \n\nI also got pg before I got married.  We married, but it was a disaster and I ended up with 3 kids to take care of alone.  I really struggled because I only had a high school education. \n\nThink really hard about doing this. sweety.  This isn't something that goes away if you change your mind.  And no matter how good your man is now, things could change.  Can't you guys just be happy with the 2 of you right now??\n\nI know, sometimes things work out.  Are you 100% sure this is going to work out with the 2 of U?  Good luck, and God Bless.  By the way, God is waiting to hear from you.
158726
I'm in a similar situation with 3 kids (2,5,7).  At first I thought it would be better to be with a never-married single w/o kids; now I feel that it's better to be with a divorced man with or without kids because of the similar understanding and bad experience of divorce as well as the willingness and commitment to NEVER be divorced again, especially if someone has kids, there are too many people's lives our decisions are affecting.  I also need answers...thanks for asking and good luck!
134695
Relax, it won't be easy but there are good guys out there who are interested in dating a woman like you.  When I was single, I had no problem with dating a woman who had kids.  The key is to be picky and always put your kids first.  Unfortunately there are a lot of bad people out there who will try to prey on you and your kids so don't put up with any crap and don't settle for anyone less than what your looking for.
615642
You gotta ask yourself now...is he the type of guy you want to raise your child?  The child comes first from now on.  I don't know him but from what you've said it doesn't sound like he should be raising children if he's sleeping with children.