After being married for years and have several children under the age of 12 (from the same man)I am being divorced.  He found an old flame.  Are there men out there that are willing to date a self supporting woman with several children?  Am I making too big of a deal about this? Where do I look?
134695
Relax, it won't be easy but there are good guys out there who are interested in dating a woman like you.  When I was single, I had no problem with dating a woman who had kids.  The key is to be picky and always put your kids first.  Unfortunately there are a lot of bad people out there who will try to prey on you and your kids so don't put up with any crap and don't settle for anyone less than what your looking for.
489056
Honey, your answer is going to depend on the kind of guy we are talking about here.  If this man takes an interest to these two little girls and actually talks and listens to them as well as shows them affection, then he's worth keeping around.  If he practically ignores them and lets you do all the dirty work, then ditch him.  He's only in the relationship to see what he can get out of it.\n\nI've seen alot of these cases as a social worker and truth be told, there are more and more men willing to take on the role of daddy.  Which means he's accepted the package deal and embraces it.  In this day and age, the divorce rate is at an all time high.  It's very unlikely that you are going to find a guy willing to live up to this responsibility that isn't damaged or jaded in regards to other people's children.  I met my husband, who was previously married and had a child that visited often, but they were just "visits".  Then one day, when she was five, she showed up at our doorstep with a suitcase and I raised her ever since.  We do have four boys together but when anyone ever asks...I always tell them I have five children, not to spare feelings...it's because I love my daughter as much as our sons.  If you find someone who can do that, love your children as if they were their own, then you've got it made.  It won't always be easy, but it does work!
300844
I know guys who date (and marry) women with kids.\n\nStill, it's hard enough for a single man to marry a woman without kids, take on the responsibility of that relationship, and use his time and energy for her sake rather than his own. \n\n(Obviously, this is why some of these single women have kids and no husband -- the guy used her, then skedaddled when the pressure got to be too much.)\n\nFor a guy to take on a woman with kids is even more overwhelming. Not only does he have to be care for his wife, but there are many other concerns:\n\n1. He has to keep a steady job, to provide not only for his wife but for children. (He can no longer pick up and relocate easily, quit a job he dislikes without serious thinking ahead of time, etc.) That's scary, and a big commitment. \n\n2. He's expected to be a dad, but has NO experience with kids -- as opposed to the mother, who started out knowing nothing and learned with the kids as they got older. He's got to start cold, halfway through the process. That's intimidating.\n\n3. If the biological father is around, he now has to deal with HIM ... possible confrontations if his wife or kids are being harmed or not dealt with properly.\n\n4. Dating a married woman means you're not as flexible, have to always juggle the kids in order to go out, etc.\n\nConsidering a guy could start fresh with a childless woman and not have to worry about this stuff, it's no wonder many opt out for the easier situation. He wants to avoid as much pressure as possible, and he wants to create his OWN family when he finally gets around to it, rather than caring for one someone else created.\n\nI don't necessarily think these are "good" reasons, and I think a real man can overcome them for a woman he cares about and is attracted to, but they are some of the typical considerations for a guy who is dating a woman with kids.
532055
honey to let you know i am basically going threw the same thing but i am the divorced one w/a child. and there is this wonderful guy.. put just give it time. if he really likes you he will let you know or just come out and ask him where you stand in his life. or you can ask him what he really want in life.. but don't push the issue. remember he does have a child and he doesn't want some body that is going to come and go in there life.. :)
272655
you may find one but after that first 6 months the honeymoon is over, unless your rich or looking for a barefoot and pregnant type of women that needs plenty of money, bud that's to much child support, find a women with plenty of kids that way if it don't work well there no child support, think man, or you that hard up!!!!!
510241
well that depends. are you looking for a long term mate or a one night stand.  if it is just a one night stand, then why bring up the kids factor.\nif you are looking for a stable partner, then mentioning kids should be the second breathe you take. think of it as you are not wasting your time because if he doesn't want to be with someone who does have kids, you'd only be wasting your time. it's not like you asked them to babysit. when you say you have kids, you just eliminated the time and effort to find out if he is compatible.
262951
i know people who have. it takes attention/energy away from the children to be channelled to the girlfriend/boyfriend. children sometimes become resentful; rarely turns out as a good situation. i work in child protection and abused children are often at the hands of their parents' gf/bf.\nbad idea all around. if i had children and somehow ended up single, i think i'd hold off on dating until they were older. the problem is that if you date someone with kids, you aren't going to love those children as much as your own unless you are absolutely amazing, and so many lie to themselves that they love their sig.other's kids but then they have a bio kid of their own together and suddenly that child is more important- your own flesh and blood. i'm dead serious i see this all the time.
49080
I think the question you need to ask yourself is are you looking to settle down and get marrired or are you just looking to have a little fun.\n\nIf your only goal is fun, there is no reason you can not see the man with kids (especially if he is only looking for a casual relationship).
92727
I am a single mother and I have had guy's that are interested. It is good in a way because most guys who are not sincere wont bother with you. But it is also bad because you have the child to think about and how it will affect him or her. I don't think it's a matter of hot or not as much as it is for them to be like family or not. It is hard for alot of men to deal with the fact that there is another man and always will be but it is a good way to find a man who is true in his word.
69339
This is my honest answer... I'm a 21 year old guy\n\nyour a mother of two at 21? honestly thats a major red flag. I could see makeing one mistake and haveing a kid but 2? Thats a sign of someone who makes some real bad decisons.  Plus your asking this question in the first place thats another red flag.  I wouldn't want to get involved with someone elses kids no matter how great you are really just because I don't want to add all that baggage to my life.  You may be the greatest thing ever but I probally will never find out because there are many 21 year old girls out there with out kids.  But thats just me I'm sure there are others that would take a chance at getting involved and maybe fall in love with you and your kids and I will bet that as you get older it will get easier.
650097
I don't think you are the only woman who doesn't want any children because I know many women who do and others who don't want children.  That's your choice and your right not to have children.  Unfortunately, I think I'm a little out of your league because I'm older than what you are looking for, but don't lose hope and don't give up.  I'm sure that what you are looking for is out there somewhere.  Good luck and take care.  My best wishes to you always.
395411
I always made it a point & habbit of never dating anyone who had kids just because I didnt want to deal with the "baby moma drama" but being a divorce single mother of 4 some would say I have my nerve. \n\nThe children are speaking through there mothers immaturity, jeolousy and hatred for you and unfortunately you can not control it. I suggest you talk to your boyfriend about his brats if he really cares about you and your relationship he would not stand for it anyway. He needs to have a good talk with the 8itch azz ex girlfriend/baby momma. She doesnt have to like you and you dont have to like her however if her kids are going to in your house your Castle where you are suppose to be QUEEN, He needs to discipline his kids and they need to respect you and your house house including your dogs. It is his Job to discipline His kids not yours they can talk about you all they want in their own house but let it be known that when they step foot in your house if they dont have noting nice to say then they should be seen but not heard. If he can not have your back on this then he is not a man or a father and most importantly He is NOT your man.
323151
I don't know if that's true...it's more of a case by case basis.  For example, I remarried shortly after divorcing, and my ex is still single 12 years later.  It is harder for women who have children to find men who are willing to accept them as package deals, though.
654875
That's funny, there are so many nice, friendly well balance women out there without children  wondering the same thing about a males.  The problem is, where do you find eachother....at the nice, friendly, well balanced singles without children club? That's cute. Good luck hun.
19865
I have been in this same situation.  This is not advice, but how it transpired for me.  My ex-wife was not good for myself and my two sons.  I left her.  I had those same exact thoughts and dilemma on what to pray for. Take her back and get the good and the really bad.  Or go solo with two young children and deal with loneliness and single parent struggles.  What I realized was that my ex-wife was not doing what I believe was the will of GOD. And that was to take care of us and do what was pleasing to GOD.  So I opted to take the less traveled road and not go back. 14 years have passed since then.  I still have my sons.  I have my second wife now going on 12 years.  I have an adopted daughter who is almost 4.  My life is tremendously better than it was back then.  Why? I found a person who REALLY loved my sons and myself unconditionally. Also, she was a real living example of a Christian.  By the way, her first husband ditched her after she sent him through numberous colleges.  Funny how GOD works. Sometimes your answers will come in the most unusual ways.  GOD gives insight and wisdom to get you through. Take Care of yourself. You will do what is right.  Just remember, there can be great gain by experiencing loss.  Also, I am not an advocate of divorce. However, it is necessary for the welfare of the children and yourself if your spouse hardens their heart with no recourse after much prayer and pleading.
618598
It sounds as though your focus is way off, & possibly because you don't want to acknowledge the real reason.  A lot of single guys look at a woman with 2 kids as having too much baggage, & they would prefer a woman who hasn't already got her life so set in stone as you do.  Add in the 2 jobs & they don't see you as someone who would ever have much time to devote to them.  Then there's the cousin with 4 kids, which would be enough to make most men run from this situation fast, because they would know the only way they could get any private time with you would be at their place.\n\nI think a lot of us single men would appreciate a woman who was willing to work & make something of herself.  However, the bulk of single men will see your past as a detriment to any chance of a serious relationship with you because they won't want to play the stepfather role.  They have worked too hard to get where they are in life to want to take on the responsibilities of a ready-made family.  As for single dads, they may feel their hands are full with their own children.  Finally, all guys are going to look at the situation you have with your cousin as you essentially living in a zoo, what with 6 kids running all over the place.  She is part of the equation, because you will be judged by the company you keep, & they will wonder why you two have what they would view as such a screwed up life.\n\nYour attitude may also scare off potential suitors.  In your effort to make it without the aid of a man, you seem to have a prejudice against men which we can pick up on easily.  Most men don't like feminists, & when you accuse them of being intimidated by your life, & use phrases like "'knight in shining armor' attitude" & "man's world", your hostility towards men bleeds through all too clearly.  It is good you have achieved what you have, but your bitter feelings towards men would be the last excuse any man would need to turn tail & get away from you as quickly as he could.  You'll need to work on seriously adjusting this aspect of your attitude if you ever wish to have a successful relationship with a man in the future, & counseling may be beneficial in this regard.  Good luck, & I hope you can get your issues in order so you can find the happiness you desire.
296441
Personally I wouldn't be thinking about getting involved with another man so soon after divorce. You will find your soul mate when the time is right. Have some "down time" for yourself. Divorce is not easy on the heart, so heal first before rushing into another relationship. Your knight in shiny armor is out there somewhere, weather your divorced or single.