my husband is having an affair and we live in a no-fault state, but his "girlfriend" keeps him away from our kids, doesn't come home to 6am, then leaves at 8am the next day.  He spends a grand total of 4hous a week with them. Should I try to obtain pictues of them spending time together.
128924
Get all the pics and other evidence and then sue his girlfriend for Alienation of Affection. She took your husbands affections away from you and the kids. Once you win in court, have her paycheck Garnished. \n\nNow that you've done this, DIVORCE THE SOB!!
423207
OMG!!!  I can't believe that someone else on earth has had to go through this!!  Last year I found out my husband was having an affair for 9 months with a neighbor of ours.  I was friends with this woman before she moved into our neighborhood, so when she moved in, we quickly became best of friends.  I was very angry, I kicked him out and never spoke to her again.  I had to talk to him because when I filed for divorce, he wanted to talk a settlement in custody of our daughter.  I refused.  I told him that as long as he wanted to be with her, then he wasn't taking my child around HER.  After about 3 months of not living with our family, he decided that he didn't want to be single or with HER for that matter.  I made him jump through a million hoops to come back home (such as switching cell numbers with me, getting a better job, going to counseling, going to AA, plus many more).  Also I made it a condition that if I EVER even THINK that he is talking to her again, then it is OVER FOR GOOD.
339452
Does Dad help?  Maybe he could keep an eye on the kids one day (night) a week to give you some alone time.  Or your mother or mother-in-law?\n\nIt is of great value to your family to take care of you too.
50110
My issue with his affair is not so much that he's having one but that he's been indescrete enough to let it become known at the office.The reason I would give is this " Several people have told me that it's inappropriate to have a supervisor so closely involved in so personal a thing and I'd hate to have this cause any appearance of wrondoing or favoritism for you later on." or simply that you've learned that only two people sign as witnesses and that you asked the other couple first.
277378
F No leave his *** now like you should have been gone the first time.  Once a cheat always a cheat.  You should not forgive just move on by yourself.  They pain will not go away until you leave and move on.  Will you ever trust him again I hope not if you say several times they have cheated then they are not trust worthy and you are waisting your time and energy on something that will no matter what end, whether it is today or 10 years from now.  The question is how long do you want to make your self misrable?  They do not love you as much as they say they do, and yes you will have you ups and downs when you finally leave but just know it is not that hard to make it on your own as long as you keep trying.   I hope you do not have kids with this person because that should make it that much easier.  Do you want you son or daughter growing up thinking cheating is ok?  Come on now lets be realistic, by you asking IF you should leave and when is enough enough you already know the answer.  Good luck I hope you make the right choice!!
30687
Read this article about emotional cheating.\n\nhttp://www.nydailynews.com/front/v-pfriendly/story/335439p-286396c.html\n\nYou're a brave man to put your - and your kid's picture - on the net, next to this question. Let's hope your wife and all of her friends can't read. ;-) Do you want her to find out? Is this a cry for help? A way of starting a conversation? I am not judging you, I am only asking because I can't understand it completely but I admire the frankness and openness in it.\n\nGood luck!
278506
Been there. Once a cheat ALWAYS a cheat!!! Would you rather you kids grow up in a home thinking that arguing and cheating is natural. If your unhappy you kid cant be happy. Those kids should come first. As for your trust you will NEVER be able to get back. You will always wonder when he goes to the store, you will constantly wonder. Is that how you want to spend your days. IF you are wondering all the time then when do you have the time to be happy. Once the trust is broken its gone FOREVER. You may be able to forgive but you will never forget. And if you can forget then you really havent forgiven.
422039
Trust is hard, Im going through that same situation myself. But Ive come to realize that always checking up on them teaches them how to be more deceiving.  If they are doing something it will come to light regardless of you checking up on him. Searching for things is a very bad habit. You should only search when the suspicion is there, if there are no signs of infidelity let it go, you might find something innocent and that will just fuel the suspicion and drive you crazy. If they are going to cheat they are going to cheat there is nothing you can do about it, when it comes to light then deal with it, dont wait for it to happen.
561104
It certainly doesn't sound like she's better off staying with him, and it is not in the children's best interest for her to stay.  Having an affair only distracts from the real issue at hand and solves nothing.  If she is no longer in love with this man, she should leave him.  If she still loves him, she should get counselling.  Having an affair is a temporary fix to her emotional roller coaster.  She may feel that an affair will not only boost her ego, but it would be one thing in her life she can control.  I'm not judging her, but I do feel that she will regret this decision and it would be like throwing gasoline on a fire.
243728
ya its absolutely fine wit not to disclose their names but i would rather suggest that if they dont hav kids then all six of u sould clarify the matter among yourself!but they hav children it would rather be better to get away to some other places so that they donot meet again in future!its necessary to do so for sake of their children!\nand as so concerned for their luv time will teach evrything!
608562
i was in this very situation for the last two month, The man left me for another woman and while he was gone he was calling me the whole time and asking me if he could come home. He just went with the other girl for the sex. We had been in a relationship for nine years and have two children together. He eventually left the other girl and is now back with me and we are married now for the last week. Don't get involved with a man who is on the rebound it wont work. I told the other girl he was still seeing me but she didn't believe me.
52675
Stop and think about all the things you could loose if your husband somehow found out about your affair. Is it really worth it? You need to make a choice. You can't have it both ways.\n\nMarriage is all about loyalty, commitment, honesty, maturity. If you don't have those things, then you don't really have a marriage so you might as well end it. If you don't want to end your marriage, then you know what you have to do. End the relationship. \n\nThen you need to take a good hard look at why you had an affair anyway. Was it for the excitement? If so, find a way to put excitement back in your marriage. Your husband was the man you fell in love with, committed to, made a vow to. Would you want him to have an affair? Consider how it would make you feel, then do everything in your power to be the kind of partner you would want him to be.\n\nWhether or not you decided to tell him about the affair is a decision you have to make. You would be taking a chance that he will walk out and never look back. On the other hand, you would be making the first step toward an honest relationship instead of living a lie, and you wouldn't have to worry about him hearing about your affair from someone else.\n\nPeople are human and make mistakes. It's what we do when we are faced with our mistakes that determine our character. The choice is yours. Good luck.
284890
Yes you have a right to be mad, there as much his kids as they are yours. You not only take care of them all day, but then on the weekend also, by your self, and if he's like most men, you take care of them mostly by yourself at night. I know right where you are. My suggestion is you take next weekend to yourself, doing what you want to do. This way he knows what you are doing all day every day. Then after that you should swap on and off on weekends, or you get one day on the weekend and he gets the other. If you think about it your actually doing two full time jobs, your daycare, and your kids. Also I would try to have him share in the responsibility at night, you need a break, it will be good for you, and in return you will be more relaxed and able to deal with the kids better.\nbest of luck I hope it works out.
275770
Why did you both cheat?  Were you married, if not, why not?  It is not a game when you have children together, grow up, keep your hormones in check and your pants on.  Do it with your spouse, by yourself, or do without!  Affairs don't just happen, it takes no effort to cheat, no effort to do nothing.  No excuse for either of you.  I feel sorry for the spawn you have brought forth into this world.
608385
It's always a tough call, when children are involved. It sure looks like he is cheating on you, as the evidence proves. He didn't deny it, either, just brought up your past transgression. \nYou need to ask yourself the question, can you live with him, knowing the facts as you do, and what will it do to your children, if you are unhappy every day.\nIt may be rough and tough, but I think, if he won't stay true to you, you have little choice but to leave.\nYou might ask him if he is willing to see a counselor, and work through your problems as you did before. It may not work, and if he says no, then your choice is clear.\nGood luck, it's not a happy prospect.
308809
Ok, When my oldest daughter was two my wife and I separated because she was having an internet affair. after a couple of months separation I decided that I still loved her.  that was six years ago.  About six months ago I made a mistake and wandered from my relationship and had a Psychological affair with a coworker.  we never had sex or anything. But my loveing wife is trying to work through this.  she loves me I know she does and I Hope that we can work through this and be stronger than we were before.  But just remember that just because he wandered doesnt mean that he dont love you anymore, because if that were the case he would have split it off with you when he got caught.  Hang in there and he will show you that he is being true to you by his actions.\n\ngod bless.\n\nC.H.
184445
I am going to disagree with most of your posters.  Is it wrong for you to like affairs....absolutely not.  You can't control the emotion, excitement, or feeling of the secretively in the whole idea of an affair.  Yet, while you asked if it was okay to like them the answer it is NO?  It is important to know that it is wrong to act on them morally.  Just like I may love robbing banks and the excitement of it but it doesn't mean that I should run out and do it.  Maybe you should find ways to suppress the excitement in sleeping around.  While bank robbery is illegal it can seldom be seen as illegal to have an affair too.  I wish you the best in your struggle with this.