my fiance has cheated on his ex wife before he met me and i asked him why he cheated on her and he said he was very unhappy and he did not get the attention that he wanted all he got was negative such as your stupid, you wont amount to anything ,your a bad father ect.  i was so afraid that he will cheat on me but he says he never will because he loves me alot more than he loved his ex wifes,they were always mean to him.  he is such a kind person,all they ever did was fight with him,  me and troy never fight we get along great.  he has also said tha he has never felt this way before about any one.  do you think he will ever cheat??  i really dont think he will but there is always that little bit of doubt.  well what do yall think??
131598
I think I can't believe how women believe that stuff. ,... oh I mean, I have a bridge to sell you... hahahahaha
498705
Hello:\n\nFirst off, I know exactly how you are feeling. My ex-boyfriend and I spent more time fighting than we did simply being happy with each other. It just got to be so frusterating. Ultimately I just decided that something wasn't working because we were arguing about the same few things. \n\nWe decided to sit down and have a serious talk about it. One of our main problems was that he was an incredibly jealous person, and I usually am not. He would get upset if he saw me talking to one of my guy friends. I have never ever been unfaithful to anyone and just could never do that to someone, and yet he always assumed that I was messing around behind his back. \n\nAnd then he would get frusterated that I was such a trusting person, and that I would never confront him for talking to another girl. So he started pushing the limits a little bit in order to make me jealous, and boy did it work. It just seemed that we were spending so much time hurting each other. And we agreed that the relationship wasn't working out. \n\nNow we are both in relationships, and we remain friends. And both of our relationships are much more successful than we ever were together. Some relationships just aren't meant to be. It was through that experience that I realized it isn't enough to simply love someone, there is more to making a relationship work. \n\nI would suggest having a serious talk with your girlfriend. Figure out which things you are fighting about most often, and I'm sure you will find a common thread. Then you need to decide if it's worth it to make an effort to fix the relationship, or if it's time to move on. \n\nI wish you the best of luck, and I hope this helps!
42331
i had the same problem when i just got married with my husband.  i'm a jealous type too and very insecure with everything.  and he cheated on me not only once but twice.  i know its crazy to forgive him after cheating twice but forgiving him wasnt a mistake.  i tried to snooped on his stuff to find something that he might be hiding from me.  i was so insecure with his friends because it seemed like he was having more fun with them than his own wife.  we almost filed a divorce but i didnt want to lose him eventhough he cheated on me and he was neglecting me. i believed that i married this guy and i am willing to live with him forever.  we went to counseling and it was good.  it opened his eyes.  but i thought it was all his fault.  the counselor did pretty good explaining that i did some mistakes too.  i was so focus on my jealousy and forgot about our marriage.  after that i seen his effort to change and he really did.  he regrets everything. and now we already 5 years marriage and proud to say we're getting strong.\n\ni am sharing u this because i think what i've been through is the same as what your situation right now.  dont let her leave u.  if there is still a way to stay together then do it.  honestly, even i see my husband changed a lot - his past still hauting me sometimes.  its not easy to forget.  u have to go counseling or get somebody to help u out.  u have to talk to her.  communication is the best key to a happy marriage.  i know she cheated on u but give her a chance.  there's nothing wrong if give it a try for the second time.  if u guys talk - listen to her and let her listen to u.  this is what i've learned from the counseling...when u guys talking, dont use YOU.  like u did that, u did this.  thats blaming.  use I.  be calm and if she says something will hurt u.  dont be mad - listen to her.  only both of u can resolve your problem.  i believe that marriage is not always about sex, being happy and successful.  having ups and downs are very normal. show her u love and u care for her.  maybe u are doing what i did - focusing on my jealousy and not your marriage.   \nbefore its too late, go seek some help..good luck!!!
276392
I dont trust my fiance and with good reason as I just found out he was "hanging out" with the hooker/stripper/coke head that he "didn't cheat on me with" 3 years ago. I hate men, I dont get it. I'm proud to say I'm a good looking girl next door, way better than that skank, I'm great in bed, I do whatever he wants, in every aspect of life, have a great job and now he's talking to that c-u-n-t behind my back again! ANSWER TO YOUR QUESTION: no bitterness only gets worse, do something horrible to him like glue his penis to his stomach and hit the road. Men suck!
302730
If he was cheating on his wife with you, what makes you think he's not going to cheat on you.  Unfortunately, the odds are he'll always be a cheater...why?  There will always be someone like yourself who will be there for him and accepts the situation then later try to change him. Then he'll just find someone else.  He won't change.  Don't you think you owe it to yourself to be with someone you can trust?  Move on... life's too short.
100124
yes, because i could understand if she had trust issues because of past things. alot of ppl do. and if he really loved her then he should be able to forgive her. they just need to sit down and have a real conversation on this matter. she needs to explain why she has trust issuses and tell him it is not him. but things in the past. he doesnt forgive her hes not worth it. (vote me best answer plz)
251054
I dont think that sounds normal no! I am very shy person ex. they had to cut my underwear off to give birth to my daughter. lol (i can see the funny side of it now)\n\nMy first relationship was physically, emotionally and mentally abusive. I still have bad memories of that! It still affects me even till today! ex if someone walks towards me and moves suddenly I cringe!\n\nI have another partner now who is wonderful. Hes been my best friend for years. I am not use to being treated like a queen. He showers me with gifts and tells me a hundred times a day he loves me. At first I was embarassed and didnt know what to answer him. He perservered! Now I am proud and have no problem in telling him I love him in front of anyone! My friends wish they had him for a partner because hes such a beautiful person. They actually envy me! lol\n\nThis woman is your wife! Did she have trouble saying yes I love you (I do) in the wedding ceremony?? I think not. Obviously because yous are married!\n\nI seriously think she has no excuse for this other than maybe some of her so called friends are male and dont know about you ;) or that her feelings for you might not be as genuine and she tells you at home to shut you up. Sorry this might not be something you want to hear!\n\nI think your best bet is to ask her straight out and ask her to promise you to be totally honest with you!\n\nGood Luck with everything!
336986
I agree, and let me ask you this? Put yourself in the wife's shoes. Would you want to be her??? You are acting very selfish. He is a married man, period. He is taken and he will never be yours. How can you have a relationship based on any kind of trust? Aren't afraid that maybe someday you will be where his ex wife was? Like if he can cheat on her, he can do it with you just the same. You are better off just breaking up. There are plenty of fish in the sea where you do not need to date a married man. You do deserve better. But you are at fault too, even though this guy is a scumbag you are contributing to the mess as well. Try to move on, easier said than done, but if you break up it is for the best.
195705
They've been together 8 years and he's only just found this out?!  "She" never told him?!?!  "She" pretended she'd try to have kids?!?!   \n\nBoy do I feel sorry for HIM!!  Not only the weirdo sex part, but the TRUST between them is destroyed, and that's what hurts a marriage most.  \n\nTrust destroyed, like adultery.  Their wedding was based on a lie; he did not know.  Whether he stays now is up to him, but I don't think I could.
24320
Well, has he ever said he didn't love you when he cheated?? People can love someone and still cheat on them. However, just because you don't trust him, doesn't mean he is cheating. Trust is something that people have to earn, and once that trust is broken it can take years to regain, if you ever do. My concentration would be on letting go of the past. You can't battle the present if you are still fighting with the past. You have to accept that in the past he cheated, and that you chose to stay with him. This means you have to give him a fresh start. This will not be easy to do, but remember, if he is getting falsely accused or reminded of his past that eventually the past will repeat it's self. This ia a time of rediscovering the love you have for eachother, and getting to know eachother better. He also needs to be doing everything he can to make you feel secure in your marriage and in his devotion to you. If he is doing certain things that r making you feel as he is cheating, it is best to tell him that these things are bothering you. If he continues with them anyway, then you might have to look at the situation a little more closely to be sure that he is not straying on you. But, don't let jealousy and self insecurity alone ruin your marriage. Yes, I agree that alot of women have an intuition about these sort of things, but, on the other hand, sometimes it is just a jealous heart looking for something that isn't there. And, when the latter of these two is happening, perfectly good relationships end. Talk to your husband, find closure for the past, and start new. Find out what each of you want and need from the relationship on every level and enjoy loving eachother. My heart goes out to you, I know you are not in an easy situation, and you have alot of hard work ahead of you. But, if you can rediscover the love and passion that once filled your marriage it will all be worth it. Good Luck tou you.
33463
i think it is possible for a man to cheat and then not  do it again. the only problem is that you will never forget what happened. and no matter how much he says to try to convince you that he will never do it again, it possible that in your mind he will always be a cheater, therefore you may not be able to trust him.\n\nyou have to make a promise to yourself that if you forgive him, you also have to forget.\n\nalso, if you do forgive him for cheating, it shows him that that is something that you are willing to forgive. because you show that cheating is forgivable, he may do it again.\n\ngood luck with your decision - it is a hard one.
23833
Since i've never been unfaithful, i can't speak from experience. But, saying that, my ex-wife was unfaithful to me, alot. I big give away is lack of intimacy. If he doesn't want to touch you, there's something wrong. Strange phone calls that are secretive and at odd times. Does he have a good female "friend" or "mates" he often hangs out with, without you? Can you contact him at ALL times while he's away? Alot of mistrusting females i know check their man's mobile phone for odd calls and texts. Credit card statements for purchases is also a common one. I'm assuming you've talked to him about your concerns and he's denied all. You're still suspicious and don't quite trust him. A private detective could help if you're that concerned. I hope i've helped a little. :)
85975
I thank you for the quick reply, but you did read it cafefully, I never ever cheated on her! I lyed and stole from her, she says she still loves me and I'm truely hate myself for what i've done to her and our marriage. I love with so much love I would do anything to save this. But i'm here doin this myself lookin for alittle help. thank you!
340636
this is not all to uncommon and trust me you are not alone. when i first got together with my fiancee, she was pretty full on. kinda scared me a bit, but i thought she was amazin too. after a couple of months a had a word with her bout it. she just said she had never felt that way before and didnt want to lose that. i told thats ok, maybe we should just slow down and she did. 3 years later we are engaged to get married next year. your relationship is not doomed, but you are gonna have to talk to him bout it.
587730
Please, please, please tell her or at least your best friend.  My husband cheated on me for years and a lot of people knew about it.It made the situation worse.  I feel like they were laughing at how stupid I was for not knowing.  I also felt betrayed by them.  They are NOT my friends; they and my husband made me feel like such a loser.  My husband and I are working on our marriage and he and I lost a lot of good friends over his cheating.  My life will never be the same.  I will never trust my husband again and a lot of joy at the 'little things' is now gone.
602176
Believe it or not, this just happened to me last night.  My boyfriend was married for 11 years and they split up 9 months ago.  We have been going out for the last two months.  Last night, after about two beers, he looked me right in the eyes and said "I love you so much Ch*&^%)(*%$#."  I couldn't believe it.  He kept telling me he was so sorry and I know he felt terrible, but It is eating at me today too.  I know it was an accident and he didn't mean it, so I have decided to just force myself to stop thinking about it.  I know he loves me and I know he doesn't want to go back to her.  He is very loving and attentive in so many ways, so my advice to both of us is to stop being so sensitive and admit that our boyfriends are human.  They make mistakes, I wouldn't want him to crucify me if I were in his shoes.\n\nGood Luck.
565451
Gurl once a cheater always a cheater. He disrespected you by cheating on you on, while you saved yourself for him. It's not ok for anyone to cheat on anyone. People do what you let them do to you. If you forgive him for cheating this time it's likely he'll do it again. But since you say you love him I would suggest you both seperate for a while and see if you can't find a better man than him that will treat you like the diamond you are. Good Luck!