It's not that I miss that actual person or want to be with him but I miss being as close to someone as I was with him.  I have small hope that I will ever be that intimate with my husband.  We just don't have that DEEP connection.  It's just how WE work.
137231
No, I don't think it's wrong. When you've gotten very emotionally intimate with someone, you will miss it. I hope it has nothing to do with feeling like you want to leave your husband though.\n\nI have this deep intimate connection with my husband. We are each other's best friend. I hope that you have the same with yours. It may not be the way you work, but you can change if you want to.
143722
when you really care for someone you will always miss them... I miss my mom and wish she would come back already... but she's gone for good...has been for 3 yrs. now.  Just appreciate the people that come into your life and cherish the good times...always...
182632
Are you really in LOVE with HIM?  Or is it the idea of new love and that feeling of new love, that you're in love with?  Especially being a married woman, after a little bit of time you lose that new love/lust euphoria.  Perhaps there are some things that you are missing in your marriage that you are looking for in this new guy.  I know it doesn't answer your question, but perhaps you should work on the marriage that you're already in and see if you can improve it, because you must have LOVED your husband at one time
546028
for me it is different at times.. recently its been that I really miss a good friend, someone to understand me.. and especially someone more and its been hardest now.
536793
I can relate to you. I have felt this way before but I have realized that if someone hurts you, then they do not like you in the same light in which you like them. You call this first person as a substitute for being with your soulmate, but no one can really be with someone who has no feelings for them. On top of this, no one can be with someone when they do not feel it 100%. I hope my advice helps you, and I sincerely hope you can get in contact with your soulmate. Best Wishes.
598445
I went with my husband several times to strip clubs in an effort to try and fix some of our intimacy problems.  I even bought him a lap dance one time.  However, afterwards, it doesn't make me feel good or cool or sexy, even thought it might make him feel that way about  me.  How you feel about you is more important.  After a strip club, part of me really hates him for not wanting to just explore with me.  I keep trying to tell myself that I should just go with the flow.  That men look at women like women look at shoes...but it never seems to make me feel any better.  Before you go, remember that you can never erase that memory once it's there.  On the other hand, at least you know who your husband really is and what he really wants.  Yes, you'll be the coolest wife in the world (like me), but then soon his affection towards you over it becomes empty.  My girlfriend is so jealous that my husband is so affectionate with me...but his affection doesn't make me feel cared about by him anymore.
270878
So do i :-( you are lucky to have ur boyfriend by your side sometime. I feel neglected all the time by my bf. It seems he does not care anymore
115737
Well ive never been threw it but ill be more then happy to give you my 2 cents with out calling you a slut, i think part of it is your husbands fault for not making sure you have what you need, now i know alot of people are going to scream for me saying that but its the truth, in a marriage part of our job is doing everything possible to make sure our partner is getting everything we need from them emotionally or sexually. Thats just the way it works for a healthy marriage, The only bit of advice i could give you not being actually in that situation is to eather pick on or the other, i can see you feeling even more torn when your feelings for this other guy are fostered even more and you cant act on it, not to mention the emotional and sexual frustrations that can easily bring. I can understand why you turned to this other man for support you wernt getting at home. But i can only see you hurting yourself in the long run if you dont cut ties with one of them. That is unless you totally dont love your husband anymore and your just in it for everything youve envested on a tangable level that you dont want to lose. But honestly do you think if you bumped this relationship up with this other guy you would be able to continue this double life, i hate to label it that way but thats the only thing i can think of to call it right off the top of my head, but i think you understand where im coming from. You need to set a game plan in your head on where you want to go in life if things with this other guy keep developing, what happens if this guy says ok ill chuck my marriage will you chuck yours? what if he talks about you guys meeting and making a full flaired affair? What if your husband finds out about whats going on how will you respond? How will your husband? Im not saying i know what you should do or what you need to do, but if i were you i would get a clear picture of what i wanted from your husband or from this other guy. Do you think there would be a possiblity you would be more happy in your marriage if your husband started to work with you on your problems with the marriage? Do you think there is any hope for you marriage now? Do you think your husband is doing the same thing you are on some sort of level? IF he was how do you feel about it? I think you need to ask yourself these kinds of questions and in deep deep detail figure out what you want to do, i dont think anyone in here can really answer those kinds of questions and give you any much more of a clear picture then you seriously thinking about this i wish you all of luck and i really hope you get something figured out on this *HUGS*
488976
Yes he can. Not talking to him everyday is good for yourrelationship. When he does call you , you get that feeling in your body that you just can't stand. You are so excited when he does call. It is a wonderful feeling. Trust me. I didn't get to talk to my husband for six months but we recieved letters and I look forward to each one. When I did get to see him it was a wonderful feeling.
193582
well sometimes I am very happy and other times I am plain Sad, my husband is leaving for 10 days and I am so sad because I am the type who worries alot. I have to call him when he reach work and every 1 hours to make sure that he is alright.
569237
I used to when  I was in a relationship I was no longer happy in.  I don't fantasize any more.  I love the man I am with now.
351110
Congratulations on the dramatic weight loss!!!!!\n\nMy guess is that your husband is probably feeling a little left out.  What guy wouldn't, if you devoted that much energy into your weightloss.  Especially if he's used to you paying more attention to him.  Or maybe he is like most guys that have been married for a long time.....\n\nWhen we are together for a long time, we sometimes forget to keep flirting, dating, and making the extra effort to treat our partners like out #1 choice.\n\nWe sometimes tend to get a little self-absorbed with our own problems, obligations, and responsiblities.  We forget to actively try to fulfill out partner.  We assume that out mere presence fulfills them, that since we are there, then they should feel loved.\n\nWhen a new hobby, child, project, or habit moves in (in this case, your weightloss) then sometimes they feel slighted.  We forget that our perception of something is not exactly out partner's intent.  We react before giving them a chance to clarify their intent.  We assume that they meant something rather than just asking them.\n\nAnd sometimes we forget to pursue them like we did when the relationship was new.  When a relationship is new, our bodies go into overproduction of certain feel-good chemicals (adrenaline, dopamine, norepenepherine, endorphins, etc) and we feel that rush........which usually lasts for about 36 months, unless we take measures to stimulate those chemicals to be produced.\n\nAfter 36 months, that chemical overproduction usually subsides making way for new chemicals that promote long-term acceptance and comfort.  Kind of the way our metabolisms slow down by age 30, and we need to make extra effort to stay the same size and shape.\n\nThis is when it starts to take longer for our bodies to respond to each other, and we may even thing the fire is gone, or that we are no longer in love.  Big Mistake!\n\nSometimes, when one partner makes extra effort to take care of themselves or look good, then the other partner feels threatened, insecure, like they should be improving themselves, too (but they lack the motivation to).  It's like pulling the rug out from under them, once they got comfortable with the way things were.\n\nYour best bet is to not go tell him how you feel, but to change your behavior. guys are not socialized to talk about feelings, and often don't know how they feel.   Guys are more actions-oriented.   If you change your behavior, then he will automatically respond differently to you.\n\nRemember his ego needs.  We all want the same things from others, but guys especially are sensitive to things they would never ask us for or tell us about.\n\nRemember to appreciate him, to respect him, to challenge him, to admire him, to need him, to pursue him, flirt with him, treat him like you think he's sexy and deirable, that he is skilled and powerful, and sought after.  Treat him like your #1 choice, and that you are lucky that he loves you.  Do this daily.  Give this freely, without exception or conditions.  Even when he's a crabass, take the high road, and love him anyway.\n\nTry to walk in his shoes.  Tell him how you think he must be feeling once in a while.  Even if you're wrong, just guess how you would feel if you were him.  It shows him you are aboe to see beyone your own perspective.  Seek to understand before expecting to be understood.  This is how you teach him how to treat you.  He learns how to do the same with you.  You inspire him to act differently by modifying your own behavior.\n\nHe might possibly be feeling intimidated by your drive and your success, and maybe a little inadequate or emasculated.  Let him know that he's the man.\n\nIt would be self-defeating to let your self-worth be determined by his approval.  Don't change yourself too much to try to please him.  Make him come to you with what he needs, and be willing to give it to him.  Chances are he just wants to be the man, to be powerful, attractive
250542
yes, i do think about him, but i would never leave a perfectly good relationship for one that could be. I have actually been looking for my ex but i would only want to talk to him as a friend now. I am happily married, it would just make me happy to know that my first love is also happy with his life. I would even try to pick up a friendship with him, just as long as it doesnt come in the way of my relationship with my husband
571374
Let's see . After thinking about this for a bit i would have to say it is because you are closer to your spouse then any other person usually in life. It hurts much more when someone you love and cherish hurts you then if it is someone you don't know as well or feel such a deep love for. God however commands us to forgive others or he won't forgive us and he won't even hear our prayers if we choose not to forgive. I would want to forgive my husband because if i were to do something to hurt him or make a mistake I would want him to forgive me. Forgiveness is a choice!
457484
I miss some of the wonderful things that I had when I was a teenager.  Like rollerskating,  Riding bikes, and as I got older and out of school, I miss the nice looks and whistles, I got from many good looking guys.     I still get the looks, but no  whistles.  .     I  miss the guys riding down the street in a convertable and whistleing at me.     Hollering Hey Babe, ya wanna ride ?      Well I met my sweet husband and he still calls me Babe.   I miss our youth and when we were going together and dancing at Matter's Ballroom.  I miss the wonderful bar hopping that we did together.    Never getting tipsy, but enjoying just being together.    I miss my Sweet little boy, and my Mother and Father and so I could go on and on.    Thanks for asking.   Brought back many memories I miss.
260853
No I didnt have a last fling. I dont regret it at all. I have something even better. AN amazing husband.
274891
The fact that you are even thinking of this guy doesn't speak very highly of your feelings for your husband.  If something is meant to be, then it will be.  Maybe that guy was supposed to be "the one", maybe not.  But since it didn't work out when you had the chance, I'm leaning more towards "NOT."  Please put him out of your mind and focus all your love and attention on the man you married.