the estranged mother and her parents have participated very little in my stepsons life and are only being invited out of some respect . We do not want to have a bad scene at the wedding or reception.
137117
I believe she should be seated with the "friends of the groom" section. I'm saying this because of my own feelings. I am estranged from my mother. My step mother and I are very close. (by the way I am 35 so I am speaking from a adult perspective) and if I were to ever get married again or renew my vows with my husband I would want my step mother (the one who has always been there for me) to be close to me on my special day. I don't want to be forced to be polite to someone I really care nothing about on what is suppose to be my day.
428427
Your in a tough spot and I don't agree with unwanted guest.  BUT it is the holidays and you don't want to seem like a complete jerk by saying they can't come.  At least this time it is family his sister right?  So holidays are about family and sharing so your going to have to accept her 'partner' as part of your family.  If you keep pushing him away he may make your mother start spending the holidays away from you...since his family is excluded.  Do you see my point?  \nSo to keep the peace just suck it up and set out two extra places and try to keep the holiday spirit in your heart even though you want to strangle him!!
203081
I think it's a great idea, and no one else should be best man at your wedding. \nI think that the objections that your mom and step mom have, are because of the traditional role of best man. Originally this role was made to assist the groom, and make sure that he makes it to the wedding. Also paying for the wedding if no one else was available to pay. \nHaving his son as a best man is a wonderful way to incorporate him in the wedding ceremony, and making him feel like he's an important part of the process. Go for it.
661451
You shouldn't feel offended then if she didn't invite any of the family. Maybe she didn't want to be bothered by everyone and was planning on announcing it after the wedding was over. Did you ask her about it?
400069
Men, and I am one, frequently experience huge challenges in relating to their estranged offspring, and I am one of those too. I have scarcely any contact with my daughter, and none at all with my son, who are both "grown up". I believe that is ALL my responsibility. I take the view that, having been entirely inadequate as a father to them in their youth, I have no right to impinge myself on them as adults. I would love to be close to both, but don't deserve or expect that to happen. I would love for my daughter, particularly, to keep in touch, because we had reached a level of understanding. She hasn't contacted me for many months, and her mother tells me that's because she has been through some extremely difficult times during the last couple of years, when, incidentally, I have been away (she is now 30, and not at all immature).  But I would LOVE to hear from her - or from my son, whom I have had no contact with for 2 decades. I suppose that what I'm saying is that  I won't contact my kids unless they contact me first, because my, frank, neglect of them when they were younger disallows me that prerogative, but, I do wish they would contact me. It has to be that way round because I would be imposing myself on them otherwise. Write him. Leave a mesage with a friend, Tell him, ever so gently, because he's male, and therefore pretty hopeless at those sorts of things, and may be scared, that you would like to know him better. Maybe he really doesn't want to know, but you won't know that unless you do try, and you will surely kick yourself if you don't. I, with  the very greatest sincerity, and a tear in my eye I am not ashamed of, wish you the very best of best fortune in this matter.
387548
It's your day.  Invite your mom and step-dad, but not whoever they might be with.  Stress that the invitation is for them alone.  Also, tell them tht if they start arguing or fighting, that they will have to leave.  It's not worth it to have them there if it makes you unhappy.  If that makes  them mad, too bad.  They don't have to come.  Remember, it's what makes you happy that matters.  If they make it worse, just don't let them come.  If they love you, they should accept the temporary peace you're suggestong.  After all, it's just for a day, isn't  it?
440017
Boy do I feel your pain or what!  Sounds similar to my wedding fiasco!\n\nI'm assuming that the two families are upset with the other?\n\nYour parents did welcome his family.  With a wonderful ceremony and party.  But being the gracious hosts your parents are, I'm sure they're not holding a grudge at not being properly thanked. I'm sure they've just chalked it up to others social inexperience.  And have moved on with their lives.\n\nHis family should have thanked your family.  Everyone should have thanked your family.  But the best thing to do would be to move past this.  If you still sense tension, I would say something like "Well, we're not going to get into 'who should have done what' at this late date.  We're just going to move past it.  As I'm sure my family has done."  If someone truly wants to know what the socially corrent thing to do is, I'm sure they will ask you in private and you can let them know without embarrassing them.\n\nGood luck!
554917
The kids are so excited to go with you tonight, thank you for doing this.  However, I don't feel that I am ready to be with the family just yet.  I am still working on sorting out feelings from the separtation.  Frankly, I don't feel that I would be great company tonight.  Thank you for the invitation but; I'll have to pass.
341107
I doubt very much that your daughter would agree to any form of family counselling to help resolve things, but this is one thing that may help.  By having a non-partial mediator discuss things in an open and mature manner would allow everyone involved to speak their mind and help sort things out perhaps.  Perhaps you could try and inform your daughter that this would be the greatest gift that she ever gave you for Christmas by agreeing to attend such sessions.  I'm certain also that you would like to be escorted to your daughter's wedding by her father and with all these unresolved issues I'm willing to bet that you'll be going stag.  Inform your little girl that although her dad did make a mistake that you have forgiven him and that everyone should be given a second chance if they have so deserved it.  Best of luck to you and your family as a whole.
664499
Have you talked to your dad about this? It is really his problem not yours. He added another person to your home so he has the responsibilty of making sure the situation is good for you and your step mom. Your place is with your father, she can make things uncomfortable for you but she can't force you out. If your dad and step mom are basically good people there has to be a way of working it out. BUT you have to try to be calm about it, don't scream or cry (I know it's hard not to) if you are too emotional about it adults freak out and they don't take you seriously.
531656
Well, I read the follow-up question (at least, I think that was you), and gave this some thought. Not that I know the answer, but here are things to consider:\n\nHow close are you to your step-sis and half-bro? Can you talk to your step-sis calmly, tell her you know she suspects you're having a relationship with her boyfriend, but you really don't find him attractive - you only tolerate him for her sake - and then, if she accepts this, ask your half-bro if she can come?\n\nIf not (or if she won't accept it, or your half-bro is determined she shall not attend), then when your step-sis asks, you tell her that you're going to your half-bro's. When your step-sis asks "what about me?" or words to that effect, you tell her "you'll have to ask our half-bro."\n\nThen you tell him, and his mom, that you know your step-sis is difficult, but you love her, and you love them all, and you aren't getting in the middle of this.\n\nThen you  back out.\n\nBecause it's up to him and his family who they invite into their grandma's house (it's technically up to his Grandma who's invited). It's also up to them to tell your step-sis why she's not invited, if they choose to do that.\n\nUnfortunately, family tensions do arise from time to time, but you can't control what other people think/do/say - so all you can do is be honest with kindness, try not to make things worse, and let people work things out for themselves. \n\nIf you get between people (for example, trying to explain to your step-sis why half-bro doesn't want her there), you'll end up building up the problem (the more people involved in a problem, the bigger it gets), and eating dirt from both sides for Thanksgiving. Good luck!
407893
The time to discuss these issues is when your dad comes to pick you up or drop you off to your mom's ... just as you will change boyfriends when you start to date til you find one you really like, he has divorced your mother because of differences between them and found someone he likes better.  its not about you and you should not approach this as a competition between you and your stepmother.  Usually the reason step parents don't get along with their kids is because they are both competing for the attention of the husband/father.  She has a responsibility as a parent to help you grow up safely and she also needs to be treated as a "mom" by you two kids.  That means you should not exclude her and only talk to your father, This is an extended family. You can choose to be part of it or you can choose to fight against it for the attention of your father.  This is not fair to anyone, not you, not her and not your dad.  You might even sit down with her and ask her what her expectations are of you two kids so you know where her thinking is  in this relationship
433713
If the invitation was sent to someone else to get made, I wouldn't blame them, but if it was personally made and they can't get your name right after 15 years I think both of you should not go because that is just plain disrespectful to you and he should agree and stand by your side.
216899
She is just feeling protective over her mother role.  She is their momma and she doesn't want you to try and fill her shoes or play mommy.  It is very delicate.  No matter what she did in her marriage doesn't matter.  Please be respectful not to push her about being around HER kids.  Respect the fact that she doesn't want you around them right now.  They shouldn't see you two together unless it is very serious.  I didn't introduce my daughter to her now step-dad until I was sure we were going to stay together.  They don't need to see different women in daddy's life.  You don't know how long you two will last just yet.  Give it time!!!!Don't tell her to back off or anything like that, you have no right to.  If you care at all about your b/f respect her wishes!!!  She'll come around if you do.  Don't make it worse, it is a delicate situation!!!  Why would you move in?  This isn't something that should be taken lightly.  Are you even engaged to him?  Like I said, the kids shouldn't see women in daddy's life unless it is serious enough as marriage is!  Sounds like you know you'll disrespect her wishes anyway!  Why ask then, if you are moving in?
455929
"Various Reasons"  I will trust you when you say none of them are serious.  If I were you, I would put my foot down once and for all.  Tell your Mom and your sister, be nice about it but firm,  that you do not appreciate their back stabbing regarding your wife-to-be.  Tell them you love them all, but you are not going to put up with any more of it.  And if they love you, they will have to make the effort to accept her as well, because YOU love her and that should be reason enough.  Tell them that disrespecting HER is like disrespecting YOU.  And you do not want them to do it anymore.  If they are reasonable people, they will listen and abide.  If they are not, I would simply make myself scarce when it comes to visiting your mother and sister.  Harsh as it may sound, they will get the message and eventually lighten up on your beloved.  CONGRATS on your upcoming wedding and GOOD LUCK!!
52003
The other posters have given some really good thoughts on this issue, which is always a complicated one.  For certain no one should falsify records, but in many places if she is living with the father she could be considered a step-parent.  Better that children have an extra person in their lives to show interest in them and give them attention and kindness and caring than they have a mom and a dad who fight about what should happen.\n\nWhatever happens in these situations should always be in the best interests of the chldren - not in the best interests of the custodial parent or the non-custodial parent.  Is it the children, or is it you, that doesn't want her at the school events?  I get a little sense of some anger and bitterness here, and that is not unusual, but don't let it cloud issues.  If this woman is important in their dad's life it is best that you try to have at least a civil relationship with her.  Why do you say the children did not want her at the school events?  Did you tell them they shouldn't want her?  What harm does it do for the children to have an extra person clapping for them and cheering them on at school events?  Children need all the love and support they can get.\n\nTry to set aside your own feelings about this, and approach it from the perspective of doing what is right for the children.  I am not trying to decide for you what is right, but in many cases it is best to come to peaceful terms with the new woman, and accept that she will be in your children's lives.  Encourage the children to accept her and get along with her - she may be with their dad for a while, and kids need their dad too.\n\n\nYou may have a chance here to be the one who steps up and refuses to put the children in the middle, and does only what is in their best interest.
555786
This is a common thing, as an ex Bridal Consultant in Beverly Hills many mothers get carried away.  They start thinking about how they are going to impress their family friends. My advise is to Sit her down and softly say, Mom it is my day.  A very special day.  What I would like is............  \nMake sure she realizes you appreciate her help, but it is YOUR wedding.