My cousin got married at a young age to a Navy guy about 13 years ago. They ended up leaving each other, but never got divorced. She is in a serious relationship now, and wants to get married. How can she divorce her husband that she has not seen in all that time? How do you go about finding out where he lives and where and how do you even start the divorce process? Serious advice only please....
125299
Will cost.  Need to contact a laywer and start divorce proceedings.  The lawyers office will track down the husband through info you give them and from public records.  As part of the divorce process, it is their responsibility to find and contact the other party once you sign-on to be their client.\n\nNo, I am not a lawyer.\n\nKim
97785
It happened to me. My husband and my sister no less.  It ruined my marriage, even after 28 years I haven't forgiven him.  He ended up with a terminal illness- Multiple Sclerosis for 15 years. He passed away in 2004. I felt like I had to stay and help him.  His actions affected my relationship with my older son and my sister...not that she was worth a second chance. But, I did try.  My mother, father, and baby sister didn't talk to me for 15 years- yea, like it was my fault. My brother and I remained estranged until he passed away. All I did was stay with the guy.  Big mistake! My younger son is not really part of the family every one shuns him because he looks like my husband. My sister's daughter ended up being an outcast and tried to commit suicide twice. What should you do?  Move on...make a life for yourself, find someone that respects you and loves you for who you are now... don't wait it will only hurt you! I am 53 back in college and making a life for myself for the first time. I have never been happier. I plan on traveling and staying alive! With as much enthusiasum as possible..If you need to have someone beside you I am sure that there will be that certain someone around the corner.  For myself, I just love being myself. One day maybe I'll meet someone but, for now my happiness and peace of mind it what counts to me.
575611
Well I went through the same things so I can tell you EXACTLY what she have to expect to happen. He is already in the army and at his duty station, which mean that she is NOT in his orders. They can get married but they are NOT going to move her or the kids (if any) because they weren't married BEFORE he got the orders. So as far as the military is concerned, the marriage mean NOTHING. After he comes back home for good or get orders to be stationed somewhere else then its a process (About 2-3weeks) (maybe shorter or longer) to get in the DoD system) he have to go through to get his wife and the kids (if any) in the system so that they can be included in his orders next time. My husband is in the Marines and he got orders to Japan. We got married after he received his orders so i had to wait until his two year were up (which will be next month) before me and our child were included in his orders. So from next month on out me and our daughter will be able to travel with him where-ever he goes....if I can answer any more questions just let me know, cause I KNOW 1st hand!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! As far as housing goes once he is stationed at another base or whateva they an get on base housing (if available) if not he can get BHA (Basic Housing Allowance)...which will pay for them to live in civilian housing off-base. So they can get married and YES it can work out even though there is a HIGH divorce rate for the military..it all depends on them if they willing to make it work...(Its hard at times though but they just have to be strong)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
206747
I managed to keep a ralationship alive between Australia and uk via email, letters and phone calls, (\nOver the space of 3 months i spent the equivalent of $2000 US dollars on phone calls) .....I won't lie, it is Bl**dy hard work, bot worth it. I've now been very very happily married to that person for 2 years.\n\nYou have to be honest and open in any conversation, and you have to tell each other EVERYTHING!!!!! ( and I mean everything, bad things too!)\n\nIf it's right you'll know within weeks of being apart. If he's worth fighting and suffering for, give it everything.  \n\nI guess if you are just leaving school you are still in your teens, i'm in my mid 30's, there's a huge world out there to discover, live for now, enjoy yourself and follow your heart!\n\nGood Luck
410735
A lot of people will probably tell you to move on and that there are more fish in the sea. But I fell in love with the older friend of a cousin and for 3 years I loved him as much as I could in a "friend way" ( he knew the whole time how I felt about him and always told me that he only cared for me as a friend and that I should go look for someone who could love me the way I wanted and needed to be loved. I am very stubborn and wouldn't give up. About 3 years into our close friendship I decided to co on a date with another guy. When my friend realized that I might not always be there he did some serious thinking.. We've been together for 2  and a half years and married for 1. So my advice is that you really truly care about this guy then dint give up. But do play a little hard to get. Make him work for it a bit.
453650
How long is he going to be stationed there?\nCan you go with him? It is in the States afterall.\nThis happens to alot of married Military.\nsome stay home because they don't want to move and they know that their spouse will be back in a year. but if it is for a longer period of time and you own a home you could rent it out and then rent a place where he is.\nIs moving out of the Question?\n\nGood Luck to you, i hope your dilemma gets resolved.
423207
OMG!!!  I can't believe that someone else on earth has had to go through this!!  Last year I found out my husband was having an affair for 9 months with a neighbor of ours.  I was friends with this woman before she moved into our neighborhood, so when she moved in, we quickly became best of friends.  I was very angry, I kicked him out and never spoke to her again.  I had to talk to him because when I filed for divorce, he wanted to talk a settlement in custody of our daughter.  I refused.  I told him that as long as he wanted to be with her, then he wasn't taking my child around HER.  After about 3 months of not living with our family, he decided that he didn't want to be single or with HER for that matter.  I made him jump through a million hoops to come back home (such as switching cell numbers with me, getting a better job, going to counseling, going to AA, plus many more).  Also I made it a condition that if I EVER even THINK that he is talking to her again, then it is OVER FOR GOOD.
492019
Do not give up! You were very young when this happened and people will judge by your exemplary conduct since.\n\nOne of my cousins married a young man who was incarcerated at 18 and she married him as soon as he was released, admittedly to the concern of her immediate family. He has never again been in trouble. Not only has he earned her a good living but they are now quite affluent.\n\nI would say that you should select a major that will lead to an occupation where you will never be embarrassed if this comes up, such as working with computers, etc.\n\nI wish you the very best of luck.
464526
Guys he has to be married because the guy asking the question is married. You just need to go out there and keep lookign they are out there but you just have to take the time to find them. I am in NC and was looking for the same thing. Just keep posting personal adds you will find him soon.
669872
Your situation is not unique. I lived with a woman freind of mine whose partner had been married twice both times for 10 years and had kids by both men.   They had a few lesbian friends who were in similar situation.  Married young and came out afterward.  Glad you found out early.
561502
My husband and I were in agreeance on our divorce.  Since it was uncontested, we were allowed to file our own paperwork.  We bought a kit at Staples (you can also get them from the website below).  They come with the forms included, but you can also download them from the website once you purchase the kit. ($25.00)\n\nNext, I filled in all of the information required.  I checked out some websites to get an idea of how to word things, but really all you need to do is fill in the forms.\n\nWe took the unsigned papers to the court house, where we signed them and had them noterized.  Then we went to the department which handles divorces.  They took the paperwork and collected a court fee ($111.00 in our county/state, but it varies greatly - call the local distict court to find out how much).  Now we simply wait the 60 days (that also varies) then go to court and get the final decree singed.\n\nTotal cost = $136.00 and a lot of my time.  \nCost if we'de hired an attorney = $400.00-$700.00 & a lot of time\n\nI know that in the neighboring county where the military base is located, it is much easier to get a divorce, though I don't know if it is any cheaper.  Your friend should know of a military office which provides legal advice and assistance to officers and their spouses.  She should definately contact them to see if they can provide any assistance.\n\nThis is, of course, assuming that both of them agree on most things.  If he's going to contest the marriage, she can still try to file without an attorney, but she might have to get one if he gets too demanding.\n\nBest wishes.
264972
EVERY SITUATION IS DIFFERENT.  It took me FIVE count them 5 years to get my divorce. If you know for a fact that the marriage is over (by meeting the ex or a child if they have one) AND you know the one you are seeing is living apart from their spouse then it is fine.  INVESTIGATE the person and make sure that they are telling you the truth.
77291
If he is muslim and does not live in the states . . . he could be married to more than one woman . . . \n\nIf he divorces her . . . tell him to do it before the 10 year mark . . . file the paperwork today.\n\nShe has been cheating on him . . . and he is cheating on her with you (or someone else - if I am understanding it wrong).\n\nDo you want to know why . . . he needs to file.  If he files after the 10 year mark . . . in most states.  He will be paying vagainamony (alimony) for the rest of her natural life or until she remarries.  Which I don't think she will if she is already shacking up with the next door neighbor.\n\nIf he divorces her before the 10 year mark . . . in most states . . . he will be required to pay 1 day of support for every 2 days they are legally married.  So at 9 complete years . . . he will have to pay 4.5 years of support.\n\nPlus . . . he will already be stuck paying child support . . . until the child reaches majority.\n\nWho cares about hell . . . he needs to think about his financial well-being . . . and the well-being of his family.
111942
Why can't you put your dreams on hold, no one says you have to stay in the navy forever, you can always get a skill you can use in the civilian world.  My cousin was in the air force for 12 years and is now working for the air force as a civilian, he makes better money, and is not obligated to go to war.  My husband was also in the Marine Corp for 4 years, and the National Guard for 3 years, and now is self-employed.  There are always options.  My husband put a lot of his dreams on hold to provide for his family, and he has never resented it.  Even if you wait to get out in 20 years, you will be about 40 years old, which still isn't too late to start a new life if you want to in fulfilling your dreams.  Ultimately the decision is yours, you have to decide if you really love her enough to work a little harder to make yours, and her life work together.
615928
Well, if he isn't legally divorced, then she isn't legally married to him nor has she ever been.\n\n  \nShe needs to contact an immigration lawyer ASAP.
355174
Here's our story...tell me what you think.\n\nWe originally met in 9th Grade, he was the new boy in school.  We became fast friends and soon became more than that.  We were inseperable, many crazy adventures and all that fun young love stuff.  We broke up just before the school year ended because of our friends...you know the only people you listen to when you are 15 years old.\n\nWe stayed friends over the years, going for coffe every month or so to catch up.  I had the travel bug so after high school I moved around a bit, when I was gone he met someone else and married her.  On one of my stops home I found out he had married this girl (who I knew & knew she was not a good person), I told him my concerns & in my heart I knew that if he said me wanted he back I'd go.  He didn't so I was off on my journeys again.\n\nWell when I was 31 I moved back to my home town.  As luck would have it we met up one night, he was still married to the girl but he had been living in his basement for the last 6 years and had little or nothing to do with his wife.  He was miserable. \n\nWe spent that night catching up, when it was time to go home he grabbed my hand and said he let me go once & he was never going to do that again.  He moved out the next day and we are now married and have a beautiful 3 year old little boy.  \n\nSo no, I don't worry about him leaving me for someone else.  I think it all depends on the situation, and the rest of the story.  People look for love outside of their relationships because there is usually something wrong within their current relationship.  Others are just really shallow and want a "trophy wife"...those relationships never work out.
314473
I've been on both sides of this. I lost my mom when I was only 4 years old. My dad remarried almost right away. I was too young at the time to say anything. But later he divorced her and started dating again when I was like 12 years old. None of my siblings were happy about it. We wanted our dad to ourselves.  Well, they got married. We haven't always liked her or got along. But, my dad is happy and that's all that mattera. I've been on the other side too. I dated a man who had two teenage kids. Him and his wife had divorced recently. The kids did not want their dad to date. They made life very difficult and caused me a lot of heart ache. I really liked them and just wanted to get to know them. In the end I simply couldn't do it anymore and I left. He's dating again but I think he's talked to his kids since then and they are a lot more accepting. Moral of the story: If they make your dad happy try to be happy for him. I'm sorry for your loss.