Well, he cheated on me before we got married, but he said he didn't... but I knew he did I had all the proof in the world besides the fact that i didn't catch him with the gal. But anyway, we don't really argue about our finances, but we just argue alot about stupid AND big things. But should I still be dweeling on it or broken from it? Should I still be crying because of it? Will he do it again? What should I think and do?
124393
Hey sweetie, Well, to answer ur question, I believe some people can change and I also believe dat if u give this person a chance and he prove that he made a mistake then he have learned his lesson, but if he still doing it after u gave him that second chance Leave him!!!
224350
he probably meant exactly what he said, you took your husband for everything and that makes him cautious about being in the same situation. if its true what can you really say about it and how can you be hurt over it? the facts are the facts and honestly anyone would tell him he's a fool to ignore your behavior in the past and not be careful, wouldn't you if it was a friend asking for advice? And think about it you love him now and everything is fine, if you ended up in a divorce situation that wouldn't be the case and the best  predictor of future behavior is what you've done in the past. i'm sorry he hurt your feelings but they are the facts of your life and you should respect him for that unless you are looking for a sucker and not a life partner.
320424
It is all about trust...do you trust him??? If so..then why worry!! Go have a good time with your friends(dinner, movie..or day of beauty w/ lunch). If you don't , well then your relationship is headed for the rocks. You are not a married couple , or engaged so it could very well be a matter of budget.\nNOTE: When we got married we paid for our own reception and were on a tight budget...had to cut our "guest list". There were no hurt feelings...people understood and sent their blessings.
620363
NOT TO BE MEAN SWEETIE, BUT YOU SEEM TO BE POSITIVE HE'S NOT CHEATING.  NOW REALLY, HOW CAN YOU BE SO POSITIVE?  IS HE JUST THE ONLY MAN WHO WOULD NEVER CHEAT?  HE MUST BE.  AND AGAIN, I'M NOT SAYING THIS TO BE CRUEL.  IT'S JUST THAT YOU SEEM TO BE BLINDED AND I'M TRYING TO OPEN YOUR EYES UP TO THE POSSIBLITIES.  IT WON'T HURT AS MUCH, SHOULD YOU FIND OUT AN AWFUL TRUTH.\n\nI THINK IT HURTS MORE WHEN YOU'RE COMPLETELY BLIND SIDED AND YOU'RE LIKE WHAT THE HELL JUST HAPPENED?  WELL I'LL TELL YOU, A SEMI TRUCK JUST CRUSHED YOU, YOUR LIFE, YOUR HOPES, YOUR DREAMS, ETC...............\n\nAND I'M NOT SAYING HE'S CHEATING, CUZ I DON'T KNOW HIM.  POOR GUY, BUT HIS BEHAVIOR DOES INDICATE SIGNS OF CHEATING.  IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T WANT TO BE ALONE WITH YOU.  MAYBE HE'S GUILTY, MAYBE YOU MAKE HIM EXTREMELY NERVOUS.  MAYBE HE'S SHY.\n\nTHE ANTS IN HIS PANTS, WELL SOUNDS LIKE A GUY WHO JUST KEEPS ON GOING AND CAN'T STOP FOR TWO SECONDS TO TAKE A BREAK.  THAT'S NORMAL I GUESS, AS NORMAL AS NORMAL GETS.  THAT'S NOT THE PROBLEM.  THE PROBLEM IS HE DOESN'T WANT TO BE WITH YOU.  THAT'S THE BIG ISSUE HERE.\n\nYOU REALLY NEED TO EITHER KEEP YOUR FEELINGS ON THE DOWN LOW, OPEN YOUR EYES AND SEE ANY OTHER SIGNS LURKING AROUND AND CATCH HIM WITH HIS PANTS DOWN; OR YOU NEED TO SIT DOWN WITH HIM AND TALK TO HIM. COMMUNICATION IS A HUGE THING IN A RELATIONSHIP AND PEOPLE FORGET THAT.  HOW MANY RELATIONSHIPS WOULD NOT BE SAVED IF ONLY THE COUPLES WOULD SIT DOWN AND FREAKING TALK THINGS OUT FOR ONCE!!!!!!!!!!!! GEEZ.\n\nSO TALK TO HIM, TELL HIM HOW YOU FEEL, ASK HIM WHY HE'S AVOIDING YOU.  IS IT SOMETHING YOU SAID, SOMETHING YOU DID?  FIND OUT WHY AND DON'T LET HIM GET AWAY WITH, AH IT'S NOTHING HONEY, YOU'RE JUST BEING SILLY.  OR HEAVEN FORBID HE GET IRATE WITH YOU AND PUT IT ALL ON YOU.  CUZ BABY GIRL THAT'S ANOTHER SIGN OF CHEATING.  THEIR GUILTY AND WHEN YOU CALL THEM ON SOMETHING, THEY PUT IT ALL ON THE OTHER PERSON.\n\nI WISH YOU LUCK AND HOPE THAT YOU RESOLVE THIS ISSUE WITH YOUR HUSBAND.  CUZ I FEEL FOR YOU, I MEAN WHY DO WE GET MARRIED IF NOT FOR A LOVE, A LOVER, A COMPANION, A FRIEND AN EVERYTHING?  ALSO I FORGOT TO ANSWER YOUR ORIGINAL QUESTION: DO I THINK YOU'RE OVER REACTING?  HELL NO!  SOMETHINGS NOT RIGHT.  YOU FIND OUT.  TAKE CARE.
571427
listen to your heart.\nmy now fiance cheated and got her prgnant and we are getting married and i know how twisted that sounds without going into detail but i di a lot of soul searching so to speak and i just couldnt give up on us. yes you have every right to be angry and you will forgive him in time if you so choose to but take it slow and figure out what it is you want. sounds to me like you really love him and dont want to give up but i don't want to go into  to much detail about my life but i do know what you are going through and you can e-mail me at crazybearnluv69@aol.com if you want and i can better explain.
667093
Now, this is my favorite one: 'Let him go, if he comes back, he is yours, if he does'nt, he never was' \nI believe in this, because it happened to me. \nI am guessing he cheated on you, or something.. and now you have trust issues. \nHappens!!\nDont wait for him to screw up, it wont work. I know, because I waited for my gf to screw up after she cheated and we got back.\nYou will only end up screwing your thought process!!\nWhat you are doing right this time to you are a lot mature and hopefully going slow. Which is good. \nLove him for what he is to you and for what he will be for you tomorrow. Dont resuscitate the past. \nI strongly feel you are going to make it. Just take it one day at a time, discussing your future and stuff is good and sounds ideal, but if you have had trust issues, I would not recommend you make long term plans.\nWhat say??\nCheers!!
610957
Why did he move out? I can see that you are sooo proud of making more money than him, because you said it when it doesn't have any relevance to the situation. Did you maybe throw it in his face, or did you start an arguement? You can either listen to the other answers from women who hate men, or you could take a step back and LOGICALLY determine whether you have caused this problem yourself or whether he isn't a great guy. No one, including the other women who've answered that hate men, can tell this from what you've put.  Either you have real issues and need to deal with them, or the guy has done something wrong and you're not telling us(I seriously doubt he moved out for no reason--and if he did, then leave him alone).
110063
I would never forgive him.And you were engaged too?I would move on with my life and keep as much distance between you two as possible.Because if he wants to cheat on her...you are in his radar.
443377
I have. Infact my husband and I both cheated at one point in time. This wsa before marrieage We have been working hard and keeping everone out of our situation. There was a point where his friends said something, and he did not defend me the way I felt he should have. I let him know this and he told me it was because he was angry about the situation and did not care much then. Well I seperated myself from him for a while, we are now married with a baby on the way, and no matter what he defends me even when I am not present. He does not care what they think or if they agree with our situation. Infact everyone who was negative in our lives we agreed to let go. We have never been happier. my best wishes to u
341730
he's acting like that because you are going to be divorced soon and I bet he is married.... just from the way he is reacting, so move on dear - and give yourself time to heal completely before trying to get into another relationship. (you have to resolve all the issues that lead to your failed marriage - if you don't you'll drag that old baggage into another relationship.) If there was anything there you two would of met in person.... you talked for a long time without meeting and that should of told you something about him. (I've only met one man online who wasn't married and he was honest with me about his personal life and that's the man I'm married to! We talked for about 2 months and then we met in person - he helped me with coming to Canada to meet him.... and we "clicked" - and got married 3 months later! We have been married for 4 yrs. as of Sept.28th).... While I was single and chatting with men online for years --- they all turned out to be married or living with someone(with whom they had kids with).
390197
B4 my husband and I got married he was still talking/writting (really sweet emails) to his ex who cheated on him....I found out accidentally...anyway....I wanted to leave...he started begging and crying....so I stayed...like an idiot and even married him....bad mistake...he still talks to a different ex, whom he sends money to...(my hard earned money)....I am about to divorce him...and he did that crying crap again...I told him to F... off! oh and he is in the military...wonder what they do during deployments???...well some of them anyway.\n\nso yes it hurts...because I trusted him not to cheat on me....and we have 2 lil babies....anyway...they are better off without him....since he doesn't have time for them...I can conquer the world...I am smart and educated and can look after the well being of my babies....and he can go ahead and catch a STD..who cares...lol!!!  All the best!
597672
My first question is , if you felt you could Never trust him 100% why did you marry this man? Was it convenience? Get out, tell him its over your moving on blah blah blah.. I know its not that easy, trust me I know.. You know the old saying "been there, done that". Right now he's abusing your relationship, playing on your emotions, he knows how to get at you. Don't allow him, stand your ground. Your not happy there is no reason to continue this with him. Ask your friends for help or family.If that's not possible look into your local women's help shelter, there is help out there to get out of situations like this. If your unhappy there is NO reason to stay Hun.
628594
Ya most of the time the truth does come out,the only thing you can do is day your sorry. Balls in his court then. Me personally depending on what you said. I'd probably dump ya.
165049
The question isn't whether or not it was cheating what you should ask yourself is what's the possibility that someone else might tell him what happen.  If you tell him he might forgive you but I doubt it but if he hear it from someone else you can forget it.  You can tell him I said if he is a good man meaning secure and confident he should believe you and let it go.
419109
You are too sensitive.  Even though he was joking he still was somewhat sincere considering it is a very logical question.  Maybe you are taking his comment too seriously because deep inside yourself you know he is somewhat right and it hurts.  Either way, if you take everything he says so seriously and personally you are going to be one unhappy woman as he is not perfect and can't always be wrong about everything.  Disagreements in relationships are common, healthy and expected.  To be able to workout those disagreements together is what creates a great compatible relationship.  Try not to worry so much about such small things and be thankful for the wonderful life and family you have.  Good Luck & God Bless!
278506
Been there. Once a cheat ALWAYS a cheat!!! Would you rather you kids grow up in a home thinking that arguing and cheating is natural. If your unhappy you kid cant be happy. Those kids should come first. As for your trust you will NEVER be able to get back. You will always wonder when he goes to the store, you will constantly wonder. Is that how you want to spend your days. IF you are wondering all the time then when do you have the time to be happy. Once the trust is broken its gone FOREVER. You may be able to forgive but you will never forget. And if you can forget then you really havent forgiven.
201885
People make mistakes. If this is still bothering you after a year of being together then you should talk to him about it. Express your feelings and concerns. If you don't feel comfortable talking to him now about your concerns do you think this will change after you're married?\n\nI'm not saying you should or shouldn't forgive him. That's up to you. I do think you should talk to him about it.