My boyfriend's friend is getting married and he was invited and specifically invited me as the date. \n\nThe problem is, the best man at this wedding, also friends with my boyfriend, is a total jerk. He is always out to get me. He's always insulting and picking fights with me to the point where I can't even be around him ever anymore. \n\nI've tried to get out of this wedding, but it's a week from this Saturday and I need help on how to get myself through this. My boyfriend knows my concerns and all he can say is, "I will make it fun for you" and "well, you have to go now." I told him that I would leave if I get uncomfortable, however I don't want to be the buzzkill for everyone else's day. \n\nPlease help1
135709
Are you going to celebrate the Best Man or the couple getting married?  There's your answer.
437721
This is kind of hard to deal with because on the one hand you want to stay friends, and on the other hand you would like to go out with him to see what happens.  If I were you I would go in and maybe go out to a bowling alley or sports event telling him that you just wanted some on to go with you.  See what happens from there if he is really interested in you he will probably asked you out.  But if you just want to stay friends make sure that you tell him right up front so that no one will get their feelings hurt if things don't advance any further than just going out and having a good time.  By no means ask them out to a dinner date or a movie, or worse yet over to your house after you go out.  I have a lot of really close friends and I like to go out with an eat, go to parties, and just to be around having a good time.  I was straight with these people up front and I know that they really do like me but they know that it is for friendship only.  And I have some really great friendships that I will always cherish.  There is nothing wrong with going out with a friend because I think the best marriages are really based on friendship and honesty to each other.  Good luck
188241
I really hate to break this to you but its not good.  He sounds very controlling.  My recommendation is that you both go through pre-marital counceling or split up.  If he is doing this, this early on, he is sending you very strong clues as to what he will be like once the papers are signed.  Please, postpone the wedding if its set or stop the engagement.  He has to want to change.  You cant make him do so.  At the same token, you dont deserve to be belittled at all by ANY person.  That is called verbal and emotional abuse.  And, when there is abuse of any kind this early on, it tends to escalate later.  You are not his property.  He can not tell you what to do.  I know this will be so hard for you because its obvious that you still love him but you have to believe me on this one.  I was married to 2 men that did very similar things to what you just discribed.  It dam near ruined me.  \n\nPack your stuff if you are living together and leave.  Tell him you will return once he has gotten counceling and not before that.  Dont take his appologies because abusers will appologize, be good for a SHORT time, then do it all over again and each time will be worse.  I speak from experience.  And I pray for your sanity right now.  I really hope you do the right thing.  This time, listen to your head and not your heart.
28820
Don't persue it, he is getting married.  Go find another boyfriend. Besides, he will probably kick your a$$ for even thinking that you could do him.
244442
I am sorry but it sounds like he is more like a husband or even a super big rotten son, I understand that you wanted to be a good friend to him in the begining but now it sounds like he is spoiled rotten by your kind heat and then to make it sooooo bad he is actually in another relationship with a female who is actually putting up with this crap huh? If you have explained it to him that you no longer can be his part-time "mamma" and not only that, you don't want to be his housekeeper/errand runner or chef no more, you have your own life to live and he is not part of the new plans. If he is really as bad as you say he is then he really isn't your friend, you're just the ex-girlfriend he can treat like crap because that is what he's doing right? Using your kindness as weakness, If his new g/f was really serious about their relationship then she would not be putting up with his disrepect, unless she is smart and knows he's full of sh!t.\nNo!!!! If He was a real friend instead of using you he would be showing apperication for all you have done for him in his time of need. Let this ex-boyfriend go because there is no true love or respect(as a friend). Just what he can keep on getting from you, It's really a shame & sad how there are people in this world who really get off on using others.\nBut whatever you do, don't let this bum make you stop being kind, because there are a lot of people out there that do need and appericate the kindness of others.\nJust keep the ex's in their right place "In your past"
166998
My boyfriend and i were inseperable for two years. NYE last year we went to a party in the party district of the city im from. After a few drinks i was chatting to one of our (male) mutual friends, who had just got a divorce. I was cheering him up, talking to him, patting him on the back, and the like, and my bf came over and started to help cheer this friend up. i was touched, because when the divorce went thru, my bf had actually taken the side of the friends ex-wife. I thought he was jsut being nice. later that nite he asked me if i was cheating with our friend. I got a bit angry and said no, of course i wasnt. He apologised, but i was pretty offended that he didnt trust me. I told him that i would see him the next day, and that i was going to a party at another friends place alone, and that when he'd sober'd up he could call me and we'd work it out.\nThe next day, i didnt hear from him. After a few days, i tried to call him myself, only to be told by his sister that he'd gone away, and would see me soon. I was a bit hurt by that, he hadnt even thought to tel me he'd gone away. I didnt hear from him for 3 months, when Uni went back. We take the same course, and are lab partners. I was surprised that he was acting really angry towards ME!\nI put up with being treated like an animal and settled for being polite to him  only for a few weeks after that until we meet at a party a few weeks later. We'd both had a few drinks, and i ended up driving him home. On the way, we had a massive arguement. He asked me why i had broken it off with him. I turned out that during the months that i had been crying myself to sleep every nite we had been dancing around each other. The nite of the first argument, he called me straiht after our fight, but because of al,l the people who were trying to use their mobiles on NYE the provider had stopped its services. The same thing happened for the next few days. For my birthday, he had organisedfor us to go to Fiji as a surprise. He had booked the flights and everything, then asked my boss to 'send' me to a conference for work, leaving immediately. My mum was supposed to pack a bag for me, when the ticket that my bf was couriering to my place arrived. My bf was going to meet me at the airport of the place we were going as a surprise.  Except that the courier didnt arrive. There was a problem and the courier couldnt deliver the ticket. When the ticket didnt arrive, my mum didnt pack a bag, assuming the plans had fallen thru. When my mum didnt ring, my boss didnt send me, and when i didnt arrive my bf assumed i was still angry with him, and had willingly stood him up.\nAnd do you know what? After we'd discovered all this, i wasnt sure that i really wanted to be with this guy after all?!
376295
Can I ask why you didn't offer to pay for the tux rental but pay for his girlfriends' dress which cost $200. I agree with most of the people leaving comment. You haver every right to be upset afterall, he did leave you hanging on your wedding. I would be  very upset. Give yourself sometime to get over it. When you are calm and ready to speak to him ask what his excuse was. In the future don't rely on him on important events such as this. I know it's easy to be said and done...try to talk to him and if he give you a good enough reason see if you can let it go...Blood is thicker than water no matter what you guys are sibling can't be mad at him for a lifetime.....Do give him hell for it and let him know how much he hurt  you for doing such things....
250150
The best answer to give you is to wait and let the bride call you.  If you go asking from the first point on seeing her again she may not want to place you in her wedding party.  Patience is a virtue.  If she does not ask you then you might want to have a private chat with her and remind her calmly and cooly that you two discussed being in each others weddings and so on.  Ask why she left you out.  And let her know it hurt you.  But always try to keep the friendship the most important part of the things you share with your friend.  Is being a bridesmaid so important that the friendship dies?
524557
This book REALLY helped me examine my marriage and decide to stay or go. \n\nLOVE MUST BE TOUGH\n\nI am SO SORRY that you are basically being torn down. Please find a trusted friend that can be there for you and help you maintain perspective on what is right and wrong. And talk to them so you don't blow up like a tea kettle one day and then he says "See you ARE blalblablabl" like an asshole b/c that is what they do. So release that tension.\n\nHe is being difficult and unrealistic.\n\nThe book will help to tell you to stay or go and if you STAY how to act to potentially change how things are.
309745
sounds like his a real jerk, she will get fed up. next time u see him out. call her let her see it for herself. than she will change her mind, i pray she gets out soon , this is not the man for her, he cheats alies an now is hitting her, do u no her family, call them . good luck to you an her, please be careful .
105287
Sorry to read of your dillema.  Your fiance' seems to have a real "gem" of a friend.  Well, not really.  But remember, the person is YOUR FIANCES' FRIEND.  That doesn't automatically make him your friend as well.  Only unless you want him as such.  Obviously, you don't.  At least, not at this time.  Openly, calmly communicating your feelings with your husband (lifetime partner) to be is super important.  Should you continue to view your fiances' friend, as what I'm feeling to you, being as a thorn in your side, you might be asking for a whole lot of unecessary problems that only turn in to "knock down-drag outs."  I don't think you want that.  Married couples encounter enough disagreements leading to arguments enough as it is.  Try your best as a couple to shorten that "list".  By the way,...when you're married, the roof over your head belongs to BOTH of you.  Should you NOT ALLOW your husband's friend into the home, chances are good you'll be INVITING trouble between you and your husband.  If it's possible for you and your fiance' to work this out now, out of love, you will certainly be paving the way towards having a healthy relationship.  Perhaps consider disagreeing without being disagreeable.  Take it easy and try not to let your fiances' friend drive you nuts.  Remember,...NO ONE is flawless.  Take care.
113088
Number 1--the words Bf are not nice and anger will not alove your problems--leave them alone.   Let go, and let God.  Unless, you are willing to really forgive and stay together, from your tone I do not think that will happen, you can kill more flies with honey than you can with vinger, hold your head high, the best way to deal with that is to take care of yourself and do better.  Ignore them and keep moving on
367115
Kayla.....LIVE>>>>Rock out and enjoy yourself. Tell this dude things are done and over with. He is controlling. Do your own thing. Do what you do and have fun. Dont worry about your friends...they will be there.
279098
Honey he is TOO controlling. You can drink whatever whenever you want. You are in control of you, he has no say over you. He should be happy with your choice of friends, although he may not like it if they are men. I vote to tell him to back off and if he doesn't leave him. My husband never tells me what to do, who i can be freind  with, what to eat, drink, and he basically doesn't care what i do. I feel free even though i am married. It keeps me safe and happy. He doesn't have to keep me under his thumb to have me at his side and neither shold your man. If he feels he does then leave him.
592241
First of all, if they are going to be mean, they shouldn't bother showing up. It isn't the time for people to crawl out of the woodwork and be pains in the rectal orifices. It is about the bride and grooms special moment. Personally, I wouldn't invite anyone that wouldn't keep their disgruntlement to themselves. \n\nUnless you are close to the bride, no you shouldn't be offended if you aren't in the wedding. \n\nAs far as being nervous or having doubts, no, you care about your brother and you don't want to see him hurting, but you also have to remember that it is his choice who he chooses to marry. Familys always have opinions, it is when the whole family has bad opinions that you need to worry about it. Think about this: has she done anything to hurt him prior to this? How does she act when she is around him (like she is in love or just tolerating him because she has no better options)? \n\nRelationships have their ups and downs,  and there will be moments when they don't see eye to eye about some things. Marriages are the same ways. I can't think of much more to say about that. \n\nI wish them the best of luck. \n\nRelax, it is his choice.... and if you try to interfere, he may end up disliking you for it.
401628
sweet heart this is YOUR wedding you let your sis. throw a hissy fit and pick whom U want as your maid of honor and as your witness. don't let the tantrum trap you, you will regret it forever.  think about it. what right does she have being your maid of honor (is she standing beside you?, happy for you? NO) I say go with the best friend and if you can't then yes pick best bud as witness. And if I were you I would make up a new title for my b-friend "Lady in Waiting" and have her come out right after you. That way your sis is still the maid of honor but only on paper. And you get to enjoy your wedding because it is Your day.
547566
Start with a friendly joke.\n\nI know this guy, his bank rang up and said they think his wife's credit card had been stolen as the were unusual transactions.\n\nHe said "yes he knows"  they said "what do you want to do about it" he said "Nothing" they said "why"  He said "Because they are spending less per month than my wife was"\n\nTalk about why you think they make an amazing couple.  Do not talk about what you guys use to get up to.  Talk about his integrity and loyalty.\n\nAlso mention that, "This is the best wedding you have ever been to"  Tell the group that "You have never seen so many tears of happiness and joy"  Mention that "even the cake is in tiers"\n\nFinally, say "Could everyone please be upstanding.  Please raise your glasses...  May you live as long as you love... Love as long as you live... Live to Love... Love to Live, Live in Love.  To the Bride and Groom (raise glass)"