I miss him sooooo, soooooo much, my heart physically aches for him, and I still can't believe he's gone.  Is it normal to still really be grieving after 13 months?  Any advice?
128988
I'm sorry for your loss.\n\nMy father died unexpectedly when I was 27. \n\nI don't remember much of the first year without my dad, other than some pretty messed-up holidays.  This is a protection mechanism. The first year is the most dreadful, because of holidays, birthdays and the awkwardness of figuring out how to celebrate something supposedly happy with the air of absence and sorrow hanging over it.\n\nWhen people initially told me in a few years it would be better, I was furious with them. I didn't want it to get better and I didn't want believe it would--a part of me felt that I would be a bad daughter if I stopped grieving. As I started healing and felt less pain...TI worried if I was grieving too little. And I thought maybe I had grieved too much, as well! Very confusing. I felt like I was doing everything wrong.\n\nBut this wasn't the case. I was grieving just right for me. And after a few years, it was still sad but not heartwrenchingly so and it kept getting a little better with each passing month. I realized that I wasn't a bad daughter. I realized that I was healing and getting on with my life and that by going on, I was, in my own way, honoring my dad. My father has been deceased for seven years now, and there are still times when it's painful, but it's not crippling or scary any more. And I remember much more of our happy times, too.\n\nPeople grieve at different rates and I feel it is wrong to try to put a timeline on healing. Our society is very timeline-based, even if those timelines don't properly apply to messy, organic processes like recovering from the loss of a loved one.\n\nIf however, you find that your grieving is truly interfering with your family, work and social life after year, you probably need some help working through your sorrow. Books, videos, chaplains or ministers or therapists are all very helpful in situations such as yours.
98857
I am sorry to hear that. That is a very painful process.  Every minute it's always the person in your mind.  I know how you feel.  Well, I would suggest a few ideas, they might not be the best.  However, time will eventually heals and I hope soon. My suggestion would be: (1) go out and meet new friends.  If you can't find new friends, at least hang out with the old ones (2) take a break and go for vacation with some friends if possible (3) take on hobbies - gymn, dance classes, swimming, meditation, etc .... (4) volunteer working at nursing homes and hospitals because sometimes seeing the others who have worse situation than you will make you realize how fortunate you are compared to the rest (5) watch movies, DVD's, etc ..... (6) if you believe in GOD, then you should also start praying. The bottom line is, you must keep you mind occupied most of the time. Therefore there is no room for him to bug your mind.  You must take courage to accept it and move on with your life.  I hope you find these tips helpful.  Meanwhile, I wish you the best.
667730
You can't forget about him, and we both know that. Just try to relax, and take the steps that follow in your life. If it's meant to be, he will be back. If not, then someone better is waiting on you in the future. I have NEVER lost anyone that there wasn't somebody better there to replace them. Good Luck!!
118281
If he wants to find you he will. It must be very difficult to deal with this right now! I can only imagine how awful you must feel. I recently lost contact with someone myself, and I just stay focused on work and family and try to let time pass. Each day gets better. Talking really helps too, so maybe counseling would help (I have not done this yet, but want to.)
391053
Sorry to hear about your loss Victorio. \n\nYou have to give yourself time to heal. You can't expect anyone else to compare to your ex. 13 years is a long time. The friendship and comfort level that you build up over that time is enormous. Any new person you meet is going to seem so distant, you're not going to feel that same bond. Give yourself time. Maybe don't date for a while, or if you do, just don't have any expectations. Just talk, get to know the person. Maybe you'll like each other & keep dating. Maybe you won't. Just go into it with an open mind.\n\nIt's very hard to let someone go. Especially someone who was in your life for so long.\n\nIt will get better. If she was the right one for you, it wouldn't have ended. That means the right person is still out there. So give her a chance to find you. Don't close your heart to someone new.\n\nTake care.\nGood luck.
288773
In july of 99 I lost my mom to breast cancer and then 5 months after she passed aways my friend committied suicide. I thought losing my mom was hard but it wasn't because I know why she passed but I didn't know and still dont' know why my friend killed himself. Everyday I try to deal with losing him but it's so hard because you never really have the answer to why he did it. It's seem to get harder and harder everyday but I just to remeber he is in peace now. I keep him close to my heart and I never stop thinking about him because I miss him everyday but I remeber all the great times him and I shared. 2 months after his passed I got my first tatto. I got a angel tatto on my right shoulder and i decide to put his name underneath it because I wanted people to know how special he was and also when I feel like I am losing my mind or forgetting him i just look over my shoulder and I his name. You will never get over your friend's suicide but most you will never forget what he did because you are living with the question of why unanswer. If you need to talk to someone email me and I will be here to listen to you.
475322
You will NEVER feel the same..BUT you don't have to hurt...thinking about her and remembering her is wonderful....it will be painful for a time but if it lasts too long talk to a priest or get therapy. I lost 2 children and my father. It hurt like hell for years and years and years...BUT I got help also I decided THEY don't want me to suffer and I will see them again in HEAVEN.....so I no longer suffer. I talk up at the sky to them at night here and there..the times get  less often but they are everywhere.....do whatever makes you feel at peace.....but remember she loves you and doesn't want you hurting..rmemmber the good times and if it helps say you are sorry for the bad times..she can hear you and you will feel better!
336944
No one here could tell me, but I'd like to know if my father who passed away 4 months ago knows that we're okay? And of course if he's okay too, but I really believe he is in a better place now. I really miss him.
332814
You mourn.  You remember and cherish the good times you had with him.  You might even do something to honor his memory.  And you wait for time to heal that wound his death made in your heart.  Trust me, the healing will come.
102272
wow thats scary,this just happen to me lastnight,but me and her have only been together for 2 months,i feel like my heart has been torn out and burn until there were no ashes left,it really help,i really just feel like dieing rightnow,for you,don't feel that way,please.it will get better,it's just going to take time and you never know in the future yall will get back together, when yall are closer,you know whats scary,this all happen to me the same way,and you should pray,you never know what will happen when you pray,and if you do pray and it doesn't seem like you prayer is comeing true,don't lose hope
571796
its normal to feel the pain because you have truely loved him. i suggest you go out w/ your friends, get a hobby, keep yourself busy so you dont have time to think about him. \ni hope sonner you'll get over him
603185
Missing someone and not being able to see or talk with them is so horrible, because you feel so helpless and you feel as if there will be no end to your pain.  Can you email or write to him?  It may not be the ideal situation (because you want to be with him), but it will help--and although I know you won't believe this, you will eventually feel better and maybe even meet someone new.  He will never be like the one you left behind, but it will be ok--I know, because I've been there.  Take care...
563960
Oh shoot you're making me wanna cry. I prayed for you this morning and all people who have lost or never knew their fathers, or whose fathers are distant or absent.  YES my father is alive and over the years (I was bit by the acting bug a long time ago) if I needed to cry on cue, I'd think how I'd feel if I ever lost my Dad, the coolest most loving unique and original guy I've ever known. My dad had quadruple bipass surgery 2 years ago but is up and around still, thank God. His health is failing but I hope he stays around much longer.  I will call him right now to tell him again how much I love him.  I'll spend more time with him, too when I'm in my hometown to visit my family again next month. Thanks and God's Speed to You!
417765
Honey, my Daddy died a year ago in october.  It is so hard to get use to them actually being gone.  Dont call yourself a crappy daughter.  Remember him!  Love him! Cry laugh and do what ever you want to if it is helping you to grieve.  Talk about him as much as you need to.  Nothing can replace the father figure in your life so I think you still need to grieve.
607407
My Grandma passed away 6 yrs ago on the 6th of July.......her Bday is June 30th......every yr since she has left.....I go to her gravesite....bring her fresh flowers & just sit for an hr or so....although some people would say I am bonkers.....I talk....I tell her everything....even though I know she is with me on a daily basis....& sees all that is going on....I still do this....it makes me feel like she is really there.....even though I walk away crying...& missing her even more....I know that it something we enjoyed together.....my Grandma was a VERY special woman....I miss her everyday & sometimes just break down & cry whenever I think of her.....I just thank god she was able to meet my daughter before she went....my son was 2 & my daughter was 1 when it happened.....Honey, I know it is hard when it is a Parent.....she was like a mom to me.....just go spend some time with him....pray & remember every good time....even remember the bad times.....just celebrate him.....GOD BLESS YOU in your time of need....
366449
I have not lost a parent. I have lost a brother. We were approx. 12 months apart in age. He died drinking and driving when I was 20 and he was 19. I was devastated, but never cried about it. He and I had talked about death but not our own. There isn't a day goes by I don't think about him. I am sad, on the inside, but not depressed. I can talk about him with great pride and conviction without crying a drop. And about the loss..... is there anyway to describe the feeling of emptiness and loss? No, but we can not dwell on what we can not change. I do know that my life would be completely different if he were here. I moved 1000 miles from home, just to get away from the sadness, it didn't help. But it did change the whole direction of my life. I will not say that it is a mental illness to have feeling like this, but it is very difficult to express the way you truly feel. I try not to talk about it but feel better when I do. His birthday was last week 10/25. Mine is today.
548872
Hi hon!\nThis happened to a friend of mine also.  He was 19, had cancer.  Was on some serious medication, but was getting by.  Then we all stopped hearing from him.  Visited his house, but his mom said he had died.  But his shoes were in the hallway.\nSo we all grieved, and moved on.  \nYears later he showed up on one of my friends doorstep.  His mom had told all his friends that he had died.  What a bitch.\nMaybe he didn't want people to see him like that.  Maybe his mom thought his friends would stress him out.  I don't know.  All I do know is we aren't friends with him anymore, we wish him well, but what a terrible thing to do to your "friends".\nSo I shared a little something with you there didn't I?  Take it for what it is, an experience.  Perhaps you aren't getting the whole story either!\nHave a great week...