I am 51 and she is 52, she has lost all interest in sex after having the big h done on her
132844
It is common for women to lose interest after a hysterectomy.  It's hormonal hun.  She probably can't 'help it'.  Much like men who have Erectile Dysfuncion because of blood pressure or diabetes.  \n\nI believe you need to have a very honest and open talk with her.  Sex is a PART of marriage.  It isn't the end all be all, but it is a part of it.  Explain that you are lonely and that you miss being close to her.  That you miss making love with her.  Is there anything that you have done wrong or are there things 'she'd like to try' or that 'she feels have been missing from the sex life'?  If the answers are all 'no progress', ask her if she's considered that many women have no sex drive after hysterectomy's and/or menopause, and would she be willing to see her doctor about 'female viagra'?  If she stil is unwilling or unopen to any solutions then you need to put it very bluntly but carefully.\n\nI am still your hubby, I still love you,  I still want you.  I am still WANT to be a sexually active man, what would you suggest I do at this point?  No suggestions have been acceptable to you, should we try counseling or what would you prefer that I do now?  Because for me, no sex period is not an acceptable option for me anymore.  \n\nBest of luck to you and I'll hope it works out for you both!!
163121
Her confidence is probably already destroyed. This is the reason a lot of women sleep around. They need love and affection, as everyone does, but they've never gotten it and are still not getting it. They believe this is the only way they will get it. She may seem happy and proud of her sex life but that is not always the case. The only thing you can do for her is let her know that you care and you are worried. Tell her why you care about her and why you're worried about her. Then, continue to be her friend. If she can not or does not want to change, she is still the same person you've been friends with. Good luck. :^)
452446
She has moved on with her life.  It is time for you to do the same.  She is clearly not interested in a relationship or trying to patch things up.
317096
It sounds like you didn't do anything wrong at all. Obviously the picture you give may differ slightly from hers, but it sounds as if you have been caring and respectful to her and that you have been patient. I don't agree with the previous answer that you hsould break up. You have invested a lot of time and love in your marriage and family and it would be sad to throw it away. If she genuinely just has no interest in being intimate it may be a purely medical problem, like a hormone imbalance that is causing it. (http://www.womentowomen.com/SYMlossofdesire.asp) If she could consider seeing a doctor about it, they might be able to help. If she is reluctant to do this, and it seems she might be, then it is a difficult situation. \nYou say she 'gives in to sex', that doesn't sound particularly pleasant for either of you. Perhaps, you could try just taking the pressure right off, try and spend time together, maybe get away just the two of you. Enjoy each others company, and go only as far as she is comfortable, holding hands, whatever that is. Take it super slow, and see how she reacts. \nI know it isn't the best answer, but I hope you work it out.
667285
Older people just get to be more intense, more of what they already are.  Teenagers are just trying to become more like adults.  Sometimes the two don't mix.\n\nIt would help if you could sit quietly and try to figure out what you are doing that is pushing her buttons and then try to work on that.  Did you leave a mess?  Is she exhausted after a full day's work, having to return home to a house full of people that she has to clean and cook for?  Is anyone helping her out or is she just old and grumpy?  If she left you how would you take care of yourself?  Would you feel bad?\nIf that doesn't work for you, try a sense of humor.  You might not be able to say what you re really thinking to her because she might not understand you, but you can enjoy the comedy of the situation.
544452
Erick,\nlet me say this to you.  Age is something that measures time, nothing more.  Spend good quality time with this person, don't let your emotions get the best of you, both of you need to talk about your concerns.  Of course a woman of 34 is going to know more than you sexually, and this can be attractive to you.  Because most women your age, aren't in touch with there feelings or even their bodies yet.  Maybe they just got out of college or maybe still there, they aren't ready to settle down for a serious relationship and shouldn't.  This could also apply to you, but if your mature enough, which that happens to some men, it did with my son, and he has a wonderful family now.\nCommunication,,,,,,  it's that simple, the most important key in any relationship.  Talk to this woman, find out what her goals are, and then see if you can makes things work.  It's not going to be easy, but it can work with a lot of patients.  \nI do wish you both all the best, it would be nice to find someone, who I would consider spending the rest of my life with, and when God feels it's time, then it will happen...  BUT, I am not going to force open in doors, WE all know what happens when you do that...\nAll the best to you Erick,\n\nCurt
32948
Well may be the sex was becoming a routine and she got tired of that.  MAy be she never really enjoyed it, u know! Aske her, talk to her about it. try and tell how you feel. Ask her what she likes about it. Try doing what u never did before , that  is during the sex session. But you should try talking to her about. I wouldn't want to sujest Cheating, even though that can be an option. Talk to her.
320474
She may be experiencing a depression. Have these problems started suddenly? or did they escalate over the last 7 years to the point where she is shutting you out?\nI had a hysterectomy almost 2 years ago at the age of 40. I did a lot of research about hormone replacement therapy (HRT). I am convinced that she needs to be on HRT, but the more you push her to do it, the bigger chance that she will push you away further. I found the surgery very liberating. I can now do many of the things that I couldn't before because I'm not hemorrhaging any more and I don't have to be tied to a closet stocked full of feminine supplies 25 days a month. I have found that I am enjoying life more now than I have in a long time. Unfortunately, my husband feels slighted because I'm not home every day and night. I get so sick of him hounding me about not being home, that I have begun to shut him out, too. If my husband had called my gynecologist, I would have been VERY UPSET with him. I suggest that you just CHILL OUT!! Give her time to work through this. Let her know that you support her and care deeply for her, but BACK OFF!! She is in counseling by herself, not couple's counseling. She is probably trying to work through some personal stuff. She won't be able to work on marriage counseling until she is at peace with whatever brought her to the counseling in the first place. Good Luck to you and your wife.
513643
Whatever it is, just get a life for yourself and lead a better future! Everyone had been through this stage and see how far we've got! Don't be too upset, it's definitely part & parcel of a growing up stage. Once it's over, you'll get to be tougher and learn to be stronger. Well, all I can say is she's tired of being with you for a total of 4yrs and she's seeking for another lover who can or maybe excite her in different ways. Don't think so much and trust me, you'll SURE get over her. And you'd probably know how great & amazing it is when you finally get her off your mind. Your heart doesn't hurt anymore and you slowly forget the images of her! Ok, what I can suggest to you is do alot of excercises, read books that makes you doze off and try to occupy your time fully, that helps to waste off your energy and makes you tired so you can sleep soundly without having to miss her in the night! Lastly, it all depends on you, if you want to forget her, you must make sure you can do it. It's always mind over body, don't forget that!!! If you've a weak mind, then I can't help much! Ultimately, you shd know what you want!
575818
Sounds like to me that shes doesn't get into it much.  Maybe she feels it is an obligation to have sex.  If you are a needy man and have to have sex all the time, she may feel like it is a chore.  Maybe you need wine and dine her.
238261
hi your mum should seek medical advice ,normaly this happens first as your body is changing  your mum has along way to go through menopause as i started at the early stage of 38 .i went through the same problems im now 60 go along with her to your family doctor for suport  but every thing will be ok its normal
336589
sounds like he`s not sexually conservative no more.hope she don`t have a mid-life baby-women can be very fertile at this age.
159978
This is common for long term marriages. After 14 years of being together things get routine. Try to heat things up a little, place Hersey kisses on the bed with rose petals or give her a lap dance. Try to remember what it was that she like about you sexually and being that out again. There could also be medical reasons for the lack of interest in sex. The best thing is to have your daughter spend the night at a friends house, you fix your wife a candle light dinner. Be very honest and tell her in an adult manner without argument about your concerns for your sexual health. Be very understanding and supportive with her and listen to her.
52520
If there were, she'd be STUPID. You are probably just a horny old man, but you could be the last of the red-hot stranglers. You could be somewhere in between - an ordinary rapist with bad breath.\n\nStop working so much; join a church, hiking club, softball league, book club; take a class in night school. Look into www.match.com.
375463
she sounds bored.  try something new.  remember what it was like when you first met?  those feelings are still there, you just have to find them....be THAT GUY again for her...flowers on the pillow, candles, some alcohol, a motel room, you remember those days??  i have been married for 10 years and it is just as spicy now as it was then...just be THAT GUY again for her.
648311
I don't think that you lose your sexuality, but you lose the importance of sex.  I am 33 and married with 4 kids.  We love each other and love having sex, but that isn't the most important thing in our lives.  I think that if you are having a healthy "sex" life alone, then good for you.  It is a God given gift and there is nothing wrong with self-exploration.  God gave us minds to make decisions and give us the tools for pleasure, so why shouldn't we use it?  Alone or with a partner.  If you are worried about losing the response and having all the symptoms that can go along with menopause, then go talk to your doctor about hormone replacement therapy.  My mom had a hysterectomy when she was 29 and she has been using estrogen/progesterone lotion for about the last 10 years.  She says that she is still feeling as young and responsive as she did when she was younger.
491452
This is worn-out female hoo-haw that never ends.  My wife is 54 and she is still telling me that I only want one thing.  This is totally not true but she uses it a club and beats me over the head with it. When you are 50 you will still be saying the same thing, and I am programming you now to remember this when you do.