Woman: How much can I buy honey?\nMan in love: The skys limit, my Love...*sighs happily*\nWoman: *thinks* What IS the skys limit?
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Well.. the sky would be all the area between the earth till what you would refine as outer space. so basicaly the hight of the gases around the earth would be the sky.. in other words the atmosphere.\n\nhave a look at the article below, devides the atmosphere into differnt stages, pick out what you belive to be the limit of the sky. and good luck to your Man :D
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Some parts didn't make much sense, but here it goes:\n\n"I'm' sorry I had to hang up today. My girlfriend was near and she is very jealous. I'm not enjoying this, I will send you the camera, all you have to do is wait a little bit, because I had a financial crisis. Did I tell you I'm coming back to  Florida? A (Kiss?)"\n\nP.S. I'm Portuguese.
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chuck girlfriend asked him how much would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?\nchuck was so offended at her rhyming in her presence he killed her screaming don't fuck with chuck. three months later he realised the irony of the situation and laughed so hard a mountain fell over
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"hey honey, ever think about an-l"\n\nbut beware, these "equality" chicks these days may want to reciprocate, and they can buy any size tool  they want.
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Q: What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?\n\nA: Nothing that you have not already told her twice!
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I have a hot girlfriend that doesn't mind that I'm married.\n\nI have a wife that doesn't mind that I have a girlfriend.\n\nMy girlfriend has agreed to find herself a girlfriend for us to share.
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Why did the brunette buy 600 yellow sharpies?\n...\nShe was jealous of the blonde! Hahahaha!\n\nWhat's dumb, brown, and red all over?\n...\nThe brunette that tried to bleach her hair in the sun! Yarharhar!
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Man and Woman in a bar..\nMan:"can I buy you a drink?"\nWoman:"No thank you,alcohol is bad for my legs"\nMan:"Sorry to hear that...do they swell?"\nWoman:"No,they open."
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1. do U love me?\n2. hmmm?\n3. no!!! are u crazy? :)
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i would say a man spends 200 dollars or more. my man takes me to a seafood dinner, give me a dozen roses, candy and sometimes jewerly can cost more. i spend mabye like 100 dollars. i buy a sexy longerie, card, candy, colgne, and sometimes sexy underwares for him. they are cute they have a hole buy his penis.
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A woman walk into a store with an cd crushed saying that she bought it and wanted a refund for it I asked her was it cracked when you bought it. she said that she was going sky diving and it fell out of the plane. When I said that we could not give her a refund she asked to talk with my manger. She explaned the story to him and he just started cracking up.
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A mature woman with no job\nI can think of three situations\nShe is in between jobs, I would date her\nShe is rich does not need to work, I would date her\nShe is lazy (no aspirations in life), I would not date her
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An oldie_\n\n3 sisters got married on the same day and all spent the night at their mother's home one last evening.\nThat evening after all had gone to bed the mother decided to listen at each door to see/hear what was going on.\nThe next morning the following conversation took place:\n\nMother to the first daughter:\n"darling I went by your room and all I heard was screaming, what happened to make you scream?"\n1st daughter to  mother:\n"well it was my first time mom and it hurt, that is why I was screaming"\n\nMother to the second daughter:\n"and you, all I heard was laughter coming from your room, what happended to make you laugh?"\n2nd daughter replies:\n"well mom, it tickled so I was laughing"\n\nMother to the third daughter:\n"YOU, I heard not a peep come out of your room, what happened for you to be so quiet?"\n2nd daugheter replies:\n"mom, you taught us not to speak with our mouths full!"\n\nLong but I hope you enjoyed.
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go to hell   L.O.L....very funny i liked it.... what do you think about this one ; A woman dies and goes to heaven. While waiting in line, she hears this terrible screaming and moaning. This disturbs her somewhat, so she tracks down St. Peter to find out what is going on. "Oh, that," he says, "that's just the woman in front of you. They are drilling holes in her back to attach her wings." The woman is still a bit upset by this and is pondering her position when the screaming starts again. This time it is louder and more blood curdling than before. She calls St. Peter over again to find out what is happening to the woman now. "Oh, that," he says, "they're just drilling holes in her head to attach the halo." The woman decides that she wants out and tells St. Peter that she has changed her mind and wants to be sent to hell. "Are you sure you want to go there?" he says. "It's a terrible place, you'll end up getting sodomized and raped and even worse!" "That's okay" says the woman, "I already have the holes for that!"
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Me: (hands shaking, been trying to do this for weeks, been practically giving myself ulcers, so so nervous) Well there is something that I've been meaning to tell you and I'm sorry that it took this long for me to say it.  Maybe I should have said it sooner, but I can't take it back now... Diana is not my friend, she's my girlfriend, we've been together for almost two years now.\n\nMom: yeah, and?\n\nMe: And I'm bisexual\n\nMom: Well duh.  I'm not stupid.  (rolls eyes)  You two are just terrible at hiding it.  Every time she looks at you, you practically swoon and you hold hands under the table when you think no one is watching.  It's just about the most disgustingly cute thing I've ever seen.  \n\nMe: (long pause)  oh.  Well then.  So everything is ok?\n\nMom: Yeah (duh tone of voice).  Do you think we should have chicken ceaser salads for dinner?  Or maybe we should grill fish...
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Quote: "Except home pornos are hard to make with just a bag of sand."\nYou just wrote the answer...:))
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This sums up the military spouse, I had it made into a scroll for my wife she hangs it up in every house we move to.....\n\nThe military wife~ \n---- Author Unknown \n\nThe good Lord was creating a model for military wives and was into His sixth day of overtime when an angel appeared. She said, "Lord, you seem to be having a lot of trouble with this one. What's wrong with the standard model?" \n\nThe Lord replied, "Have you seen the specs on this order. She has to be completely independent, possess the qualities of both a father and mother, be a perfect hostess to four or forty with an hour's notice, run on black coffee, handle every emergency imaginable without a manual, be able to carry on cheerfully, even if she is pregnant and has the flu, and she must be willing to move to a new location ten times in seventeen years. And, oh yes, she must have six pairs of hands!" \n\nThe angel shook her head, "Six pairs of hands? No way. \n\n" The Lord continued,"Don't worry, I will make other military wives to help her. And I will give her an unusually strong heart so it can swell with pride in her husband's achievements, sustain the pain of separations, beat soundly when it is overworked and tired, and be large enough to say, 'I understand' when she doesn't and say 'I love you', regardless." \n\n"Lord," said the angel, touching his arm gently. "Go to bed and get some rest.You can finish this tomorrow." \n\n"I can't stop now," said the Lord. "I am so close to creating something unique. Already this model heals herself when she is sick, can put up six unexpected guests for the weekend, wave good-bye to her husband from a pier, a runway or a depot, and understand why it's important that he leave." \n\nThe angel circled the model of the military wife, looked at it closely and sighed, "It looks fine, but it's too soft." \n\n"She might look soft," replied the Lord. "But she has the strength of a lion. You would not believe what she can endure." \n\nFinally the angel bent over and ran her finger across the cheek of the Lord's creation. "There's a leak," she announced. "Something is wrong with the construction. I am not surprised that it has cracked. You are trying to put too much into this model." \n\nThe Lord appeared offended at the angel's lack of onfidence."What you see is not a leak," He said. "It's a tear." "A tear?" What is it there for?" asked the angel. \n\nThe Lord replied, "It's for joy, sadness, pain, disappointment, loneliness, pride and a dedication to all the values that she and her husband hold dear." \n\n"You are a genius!" exclaimed the angel. \n\nThe Lord looked puzzled and replied, "I didn't put it there."