Me and my husband dated three years while in High school and have been married for about two years. Some say we got married to young and thats why are marriage didn't work out. But i was in love with him....But after we got married he stoped being affectionate and loving torwards me. Many times I would tell him that, thats what I wanted and needed from him but he would igonore me or not pay attention? I'm not saying that what i've done is right but I want to make our marriage work, and he has been putting me through hell, because he won't try to make it work becasue he says I'm the one that Fucked up so i'm the one who has to fix it...I believe this is true to a certain extent but I still want him to give me what he wasn't in the first place so that we can move on and try and be a happy married couple again.. I love him, it's too bad i was stupid and thought that someone else could give me what my husband wasn't...I know what i have done wrong...And i'm sorry for it..But will he ever..
136302
We all make mistakes some more drastic than others. We sometimes learn from our mistakes. However, the healing process is painful. When you apologize to him for having an affair don't expect things to just get back to normal right away because he's hurt and most of all embrassed. Also, don't throw the past in his face, telling him he's the reason why you had an affair or if he was doing what he was suppose to it wouldn't have happened. We have to learn to love the person we married and expect change, wheather good or bad. Besides, God knows your heart. If you need to talk or need prayer please feel free to contact me personally at wisdom_women@yahoo.com.
361061
I am a happily married woman. You can't blame yourself for what happens or goes wrong in the marriage, UNLESS you have done something wrong. Not all marriages last, but in that case they were never meant to be! I think women should share an equal role in the relationship and don't ever let a man control you. If you do then you deserve what you get. This is not the "old" days where the woman does what the man says. I know that if my husband would ever try to control me...he would be out...out the door! If you are insecure with yourself, then you need to find yourself and then proceed from there. I have my insecurities too, but that don't mean I take the blame for anything, especially if I didn't do any thing wrong. I am very happy with my marriage and even though it doesn't always go smooth, does not mean that I don't love him and he don't love me
390197
B4 my husband and I got married he was still talking/writting (really sweet emails) to his ex who cheated on him....I found out accidentally...anyway....I wanted to leave...he started begging and crying....so I stayed...like an idiot and even married him....bad mistake...he still talks to a different ex, whom he sends money to...(my hard earned money)....I am about to divorce him...and he did that crying crap again...I told him to F... off! oh and he is in the military...wonder what they do during deployments???...well some of them anyway.\n\nso yes it hurts...because I trusted him not to cheat on me....and we have 2 lil babies....anyway...they are better off without him....since he doesn't have time for them...I can conquer the world...I am smart and educated and can look after the well being of my babies....and he can go ahead and catch a STD..who cares...lol!!!  All the best!
479579
It can happen. I married my husband right out of high school. We were married 23 years and started having problems. We divorced...... 2 years later, and we are back together. We just don't work apart. The 2 years that we were apart was hell on both of us. We've now worked through our differences and plan on growing old together. :)
381757
You have quite a dilemma there and that actually happened to me .I was married and didn't love him anymore and didn't have the balls to tell him and looking back i wish i did . I could have saved us all alot of misery. If i could do it over I would've saved up some money and just moved out and left him. That's what you should do .Plan your next move financially and emotionally it will be easier for both of you .
64193
This is something you should speak to your husband about. My wife had a similar problem. She married me at 18 and I was her first. She expressed her desire to be with another man for the experience, and assured me that in no way was she interested in leaving me for another. Since I love her with all my heart, I wanted to do anything possible for her. Through our discussions we have decided that we will pursue that in the future if the situation arises. I am working through some issues over it, but as I said, I love her and will do anything for her. If she needs to fulfill this, then I will allow it to happen. We may bring another guy into the mix with us or it might happen with her and him alone, we haven't decided that yet, but we will discuss everything and both of us must be comfortable with the situation in order to proceed. Communication is the key. I'm quite sure that your husband has some fantasies of his own that he hasn't shared with you yet. This could possibly be an opportunity for you both to discover new things in your relationship. Have a conversation with your husband. If your husband loves you as much as I love my wife then he will at least ponder the thought. Good luck.
348946
I am married and I got married when I was 22 and my husband was 20. My advice to you would be this, pray and seek the Lord if you believe in Jesus Christ. Also, I would say that, anything worth fighting for is worth having so if you really love this man and know that y'all are meant to be together, then it is worth fighting. Another thing is don't let people bring you garbage about your relationship, or your boyfriend, and something I had to learn is that misery loves company. I hope this advice helps you out to some degree.
582339
I just celebrated my 1st anniversary and the first weeks after the wedding were anticlimactic and I too was unhappy.  The reason:  The wedding and preparations were over.   And I thought "is this it?"  Reality set in with a quickness.\n\nAs time has progressed and problems have occurred, I think back to why I married this man and everything gets better.  Through this year I have threatened to leave he has threatened to leave, we have discussed counseling but we have done none of the above.  \n\nNow we have settled into a routine where we once again love and respect each other and we look forward to the years to come.\n\nYes we lost that spark but there was still an ember and we have fanned it into a blazing flame.\n\nGood luck
362057
your situation mirrors mine!  when i met my now husband i was 23 and a party girl from hell.  we dated for a while then i moved in with him.  during the whole dating episode, it occurred to me that my partying lifestyle is not one to support a strong marriage.  so after a few small fights, we broke up and i took that time to cleanup, ween myself off the party atmosphere and make the decision of a life of bliss or all the alcohol and sex i wanted and end up being miserable and addicted.  seems like an easy decision, bu it wasn't.  luckily, with the assistance of prayer, i chose to be with the man i love and have fun but doing the things we both truly love to do.  i don't regret a moment.  we love each other to death.  two nights ago we just celebrated out 1st anniversary and he left me a note on the fridge saying that he fell in love with me all over again the other night!  i can only pray that you and the girl you are going to marry are as happy as we are.  \ngood luck!
595021
Hey tleigh...well after what i just read, it seems to me that the 2 of you are happy with the way things are now.  If this is the case then why ruin a good thing.  I believe the only time 2 people should get married is if they are both really committed to the whole marriage thing.  But, if you still have to stop and ask yourself if this is a good thing then most likely its not gonna be. But, like I said earlier,  you 2 seem to be doing just fine the way things are.  You know how the old phrase goes..."Don't fix it , if it ain't broke"  As of right now, it doesnt seem as if anything is broke in this relationship....Good luck with everything, tleigh...
93025
My husband cheated on me shortly after we got together...but I did say he's my husband, right?  He swears up and down to never do it again, it's hard to forget, but I have forgiven him and am still, after 2 1/2 years trying to forget.  It's not easy, but I love him too, and don't want to let go.  He respects me for forgiving him, and since I gave him a second chance, he will be faithful to me.
457768
oh my goodness, don't do this!   You made a commitment with your husband when you said your vows three years ago.  "For better or for worse".   Please don't flush three years and the years you were dating away:(  \n\nI am truly sorry you and your husband are going through these tough times, but I believe none the less you can work through them.  \n\nMy parents have been married for twenty years and sure they've had and have rough times. But they work them out.\n\nKnow one said marriage was easy, you gotta work at it, but its worth fighting for!\n\nDon't do anything you will quickly regret.  This guy will not make you happy, it will just make things worse.    \n\nPlease don't do this to yourself and your marriage.  If ever you need advise on how to help your marriage and make it better just email me.   But I will not give you any advise on committing a moral sin.  You gotta know where you stand.  \nI'll keep you guys in my prayers:(
599028
Now my spouse makes me feel complete. It only took 30 years. All I can say is you have to compromise. If you fight, you can't leave , you can ignore each other until everything cools down. I watched my sibblings leave their spouses time and time again, they always went back. That was time wasted. Work things out. There are no 2 people perfectly compatable. You have to work at it. Even now , we are not even 80% compatable, but there was no way, even 10 years ago that I was gonna start over. You probably found the right person, but how would you know , now? Good luck.
633534
That is one way of putting it... but in my case, I was fooled and he got tired of fooling me after we were married and just showed his true colors. Marriage is not something I will ever do again. It is a real shame too because I am in a great relationship. But I think marriage will ruin me if I try to do it again.
366571
Ignore the bashers of love in here, most of them wouldn't know love even if it slapped them in the face. My wife and I are the same as you two are, we think the same, act the same, like most of the same things, had very similar dramatic life experiences thats shaped who we are, and we married each other because we saw the bond we clearly had. More importantly, we both knew who we were as individuals, and knew what we wanted. You can't know if your meant to be with someone unless you know yourself well enough to know what feels right for you and know what you want.
412643
wow!  I have been married to my husband for 9 years this January.  We have overcome some horrible conditions.  I do not want to go into detail here online.  However, I love my husband despite the things we have been thru.  Infidelity was not one of the issues, but we were involuntarily separated for 3yrs 8 mos.  We have been thru things with our ex's...just about anything that could go wrong has...Now, we are best friends and know each other inside and out.  Trauma brought us closer...it is often not that way in marriages.  We're blessed that way..I had to spend Thanksgiving alone again this year...but we will get thru this.  So, the answer is yes.  Despite everything and everyone, if you want to overcome, you will.
147686
Hmmm...I can not advocate that cheating on your husband no matter what the circustances are is right because if you are unhappy you at least owe it to him to voice your emotions and to move on. Just because you don't have a good relationship does not mean that his feelings should be neglected just to satisfy your own. Since you two have been together for quite some time don't you think that you owe him that much to be honest? You say that he treats you badly and that you are unhappy but I'm sorry that doesn't justify your cheating in anyway especially considering that you have no children involved that might cause you to be stuck in staying. As for the guy that you are seeing now, maybe you are in love and perhaps a future with him will be great but you are more or less in that fairytale stage of a relationship where they can do no wrong and this will fade. If this is something that you honestly feel is worth pursuing in order to make yourself happy then go for it by all means. Just remember that your happiness does not need to be based on a man and that you can find it yourself no matter what the outcome. I think that the betrayal and hurt is going to be worst for your husband who has no idea of what is about to surface and that for you it might be hard but that you'll make it since you have realized that this marriage is no longer what you want. I'm in no way trying to put you down or belittle you for your actions because it happens to the best of us since we are all only human but I would definitely consider your situation a little further and make sure that this guy just doesn't look like a better option because you dont really have the repsonsbilities and obligations that you share with your husband. There are no stings attached at this point with this new guy so it makes it all light-hearted and fun and if you do both embark on a relationship (especially a long distance one) there will be difficulties that will eventually come along. I would suggest taking some time out for yourself once you get a divorce and not rush into anything too quickly. I think that you need to hash out somethings with yourself instead of seeking comfort from a man that is merely supplying what is lacking in ur current relationship. Obviously if you decided to get married to your spouse, these feelings at one point or another were there with him and look at what has become of that. I think you need to just really spend some time with yourself and getting to reaquainted with your independent single self before finding an identity in someone else. I'm sure you are a good person and I hope that whatever choice you make that you will find the happiness that you seek. Just remember the feeling of everyone else involved and don't let your heart do all of the thinking for you during a time when you need to use your head. Best of luck to you:)