she says things just get to her but i know its over guys b/c it always has been. i feel that i have run out of advice to give her. can anyone help me to give her better advice that may stop her from hurting herself futher. thank u!
124484
this is a very serious, yet common thing for many young girls to do. The reason people do this is because they are in so much emotional pain and they do not know how to direct it. They cut because the physical pain feels better than the emotional pain. They cut because when it hurts physically, then its a reason to cry and it's like a catalyst to letting out some of the emotional pain. Some cut because they feel completely numbed emotionally and they just want to feel something. Your friend needs help. Encourage her to seek some counseling. If she is a minor, she needs to talk with a school counselor and/or her parents. No boy is worth going through everything she is going through. I know of a really excellent article that discusses this subject in more detail.
134709
Well...it is good that the person has stopped complaining. I don't know what the situation is, but people should never thank that there is no hope because that is not true. The only time there is no hope is if we dwell on the problem and don't do anything to resolve the problem. \n\nThere is always hope. Your support is always helpful. Let her know that you care and are concerned for her. \n\nI would also suggest that she go get some counseling because often times, when people lose hope, they start to think about suicide. \n\nKeep in mind, you can tell her anything you can think of to tell her, but it is strictly up to her to break that spell that is binding her. \n\nBe positive. Don't offer pity because she will just thrive on that and it makes the problem worse. Be empathetic though. Let her know you understand the problem and you understand how she feels, but she just has to get up and get moving and stop feeling so sorry for herself and I would also recommend recommending counseling to her.
669917
Honey, please don't tear yourself up.  Remember, that you are a valued person, your have a life that can be beautiful. Don't let her use you, respect yourself, where is your self-esteem? Next time she calls, be polite and considerate, but let her know that you have your own life and she isn't in it.  Politely tell her to find another ex to cry to.You my friend are worth so much more than to be used as a sounding board. Stop feeling sorry for yourself, and find someone who appreciate you for you . Please, do this for yourself.  I found someone I adore and am adore back, we would nerve be disrespectful of each other as she is to you.  Take a long hard look at yourself, you are one hell of a women. Someone out there is dying to meet you.
513112
You need to sit her down and discuss it with her. If she's worth every ounce of energy you have left, that's something SHE should know..tell her. Ask her why she gets in those ...is moods a good word?.......You have to communicate how you feel and what your thinking to her,....then she will let out what she's keeping in, then you guys can get back down to business. But you HAVE to talk to her about it. Women will not tell you what's wrong, you have to wheedle it out of them....it's not that they are being mean, that's just their nature. Trust me talk with her about it, be patient and LISTEN, and she will tell you everything.
610943
When i have an episode, I just need to be left alone for awhile.  Try to communicate with her through notes if you can't talk to each other.  Don't start with "You don't this or You did that" but say more along the lines of "I feel I need more help around the house" or "I feel like sometimes you don't like me very much" or something along those lines.  It's hard to communicate during an episode because it does take over.  Maybe her writing back will help her calm down, let her put her feelings on paper.  At least the lines of communication will still be open.  I hope she sees a doctor.
41848
You need to sit down and talk to her.  Tell her that you told her in confidence and that you need to be able to trust her or else you won't tell her anything anymore.  But dear, she was just looking out for you.  A lot of people lie and say they only cut themselves once, so she was probably just trying to make sure you didn't hurt yourself anymore.  Cutting is the absolute worst thing you can do to yourself when your stressed out because it just adds on to the stress, and she was probably just trying to make sure you don't do it again.  There's no use being mad, but I'd talk to her about it or at least watch what I told her.
326757
Just be on her good side.  Always be thoughtful and helpful.  She's probably just keeping a distance to protect herself.
387638
It's not over until it's over.  She clearly just needs her space, and you've given it to her.  Kudos to you!  It would probably not be out of line to give her an occasional call to see how she is.  She will hopefully come around when she sees how nice and supportive you are.
407281
She is trying to numb some pain... ask her when she has been sober for a day, what is hurting her to the point of why she is so distructive, get deep with her because she probably feels guilty for having sex so soon and giving into the peer pressure.  Hope you all will be okay
461089
It sounds like you really care about her.  However, she's going to do whatever she wants to do no matter what anyone says to her.  All that will happen is she will distance herself even more.  As I'm sure you realize, that's not a healthy thing to do.  Especially being so young and experiencing lots of 'firsts'.\n\nI would think that the best thing to do is just remind her that you're still around.  Even just saying 'Hey' in the hallway between classes can make all the difference in the world.  When the inevitable (that you believe will happen) happens, chances are, she'll remember that you were at least willing to give her the time of day when she was with this guy when everyone else gave up on her.  Empathize with her (I'm sure you've probably had your share of heartbreaks too), let her know that it's not the end of the world.\n\nI know that this is all easier said than done.  True friendships are built on solid ground.  In this instance, patience really is a virtue.  I'm not saying to spend all of your time waiting around for her to call you, by all means, continue living your life and going to school.  But like I said, just remind her that YOU are still willing to be her friend when she's ready.\n\nGood luck and I hope this helps!!!
341509
I hate to say it but I have been where she is. I know what she is doing. She is escaping. Video games are the only things she can control right now. She is just as frustrated as you are.Perhaps she didn't sign up to be your house lady or your laundry mat. Maybe she had hopes of being someone or something other than that and unfortunately your complaints are only making things worse. You need to help her recognize her situation and discover what it is she really needs and wants. Part of that may mean she needs some time away from her current situation, time away from the games. You can't impose this time away you can only suggest it. This type of behaviour is definately a sign of unhappiness and a sign she needs to do some changing but I fear, like me, she will have to fall hard to know this. It took some serious life changes to teach me and I hope for her it won't be this way. The best you can do is be as loving and supportive and non-judgemental as possible.
507490
All I can say to you is to urge her to not dwell on the past, nothing good can come out of that.  She just needs to move on because her whole life is ahead of her.  She has many experiences to live through still, and many good memories are just ahead.  Being stuck in the past is self destructive, because there is nothing you can do about it.  I hope this helped a little, good luck!
125685
I would continue to be her friend. Realize that she is not going to be able to put as much as you put into the relationship, due to her current mental state. You now know that that because of her condition that you won't be able to believe what she says. Keep the relationship fun and light. That way you won't get caught up in the emotional drama.
358263
Flip the script on her...tell her you are going to kill yourself. Or like everyone else is saying she needs to go to the hospital. On a personal note...I tried to kill myself almost a year a ago. If I was not drunk I probably wouldn't have hurt myself so deeply but I cut my wrist and cut nerves, arteries, etc. I had to have surgery. The medical bills alone is enough to realize ok that was dumb. I almost lost my hand and I only have partial use of my pinky because I cut the Ulnar nerve. What I realized through all of this is I didn't want to die, I just wanted things to get better and they do I promise! I seeked help, got on medication (which I was initially against) but it helped. People love you and you will only leave them in complete and utter pain if you took your own life. (This is to relay to your friend) You only have one life that you know about...so just make the best of it because your time will come. We don't come with a re-do button but we have a chance to make our lives better. Just think if you hit rock bottom the only way to go is up. I wish you all the luck, and love! Take Care.
496913
aww that's really sad.... make sure u are there for her, even tho she needs time on her own right now. u did the right thing by letting her parents and the police know that she is having trouble right now. if it's possible, try to work w/ her mom and friends to get some ways to help her.. perhaps a counselor or therapist.. don't give up on her, but at the same time make sure this does not consume you.  she is pushing u away..and if u keep trying she may get upset.. or she may accept ur help.... but u have to be strong enough to take either reaction from her.  just continue to talk to her mother or her friends, maybe email or text her once in awhile and just say "hi" to let her know u are thinking of her.\n\nalso, tell her that even if you are not "together", she can still count on you as a Friend, because u care and love her as a person. that way, she hopefully won't feel "stress" thinking she has to be ur Happy Girlfriend u know?\n\ntell her u will always be there if she needs to talk....  btw, who told her she "can't have love or be happy"?? why does she think this?  something is going on w/ her.... \n\ntake care, good luck~
91931
Take it slow... tell her that you really want her to listen to you and that you seriously want her to take the time to listen to what you have to say, if there have been many times when you've had a heart to heart and no results, tell her that it'd be best if you get everything out of the way so you can both make up your minds about whatever it is. Tell her you miss her, tell her being 'just a friend' isn't what you want but if it's all you're going to get then it's fine. If you don't think hat way then express how you really feel. Ask her why she wants to be your friend so badly all of a sudden. Maybe she really wants you back or she's trying to start all over again or she misses how you were as a friend. Let it all out, relieve her and yourself of your issues and you can go on from there.
271214
gorl oh my gosh she really does need help u need to tell or call someone and i am serious i have had a situation like this and just try to talk and comfort her and tell her how much she is loved by u and her other family and freinds tell her that she still ha s2 acomplish things in her life and that she can get help and that you will be ther with her if she wants.\n\n                         - i wish u the best of luck with her and u