i'm attending a chinese wedding, and the tradition is to give money in a "red envelope". I'm close to the bride and am one of the bridesmaids...how much should i give? can you please give me a range, high to low?
130093
It's called a hongbau - hong meaning red, and bau meaning bag, envelope, container.\nIn Chinese culture, you're supposed to give an amount that can be divided by two without any halves - 30 would not be good because you would get 15 - the five being seen as a half. If you're a bridesmaid, you would definately be expected to give nothing less that $100, as you've been chosen for such an honorable position. And if you've known the bride for some time, even $100 would be a little stingy. If possible, I would suggest $200. Otherwise, why don't you go out and get them something special, then put it somewhere out of sight in her/their house. In your red envelope put a little riddle to help them get to the gift. It could be a little game between you, and I'm sure it would give them much pleasure going on their scavenger hunt. \nBut, be careful - no clocks, watches, handkerchiefs (even if they are sooooo beautiful). These are all associated with funerals. If you have a choice of color, go for something red (provided it will fit in with their color scheme). Red is a "happy" color for Chinese.\nGood luck with your search, and have a wonderful time at the wedding!
464392
75- 100 per guest is the "going rate"... but circumstances can make it different.  \nIf you don't feel you are close to this person to be able to celebrate the marruage with 75.00- perhaps you should decline the invitation?  Not like it's a birthday- it is a wedding.
199456
We always pass an envelope around. People contribute what they want, and a gift is purchased accordingly. As for refreshments, etc. we all volunteer to bring something. i.e. someone brings cake, someone ice cream, someone drinks, someone plates... you get the idea. Works very well!
557538
Try buying a less expensive gift off the registry. That way it is thoughtful, useful and sensible. You can find out where they are registered by asking around to other guests you know who may be closer to her. Generally I think $50.00 is a minimum gift but it is based on your conscience and ability really.
113175
it depends on how many people are coming! if its a small group, then they will most likely expect you to open them. if there are 30+ people, they might cut you some slack.\nI went to a bridal shower where the bride didnt open her gifts, and nobody really cared. she wrote thank you notes expressing her excitement, so it was fine.\nHave lots of games to keep people busy (or suggest that to the hosts) and by the time they are done, everyone will be ready to go home rather than watch you open presents.
572856
Emily Post says nothing specifically about it, but I don't think you do write a note inside.  The bride will likely never even see it, since all of her necessary info is on the outside!  Here's a few more pointers...\n\nTips on being the perfect guest \n\n\nRSVP. Immediately. \nRSVP is French for “please respond” (répondez s’il vous plaît). Your most important obligation as a guest is to respond to the invitation immediately, especially if you are unable to attend. At the very least, it allows your host and hostess enough time to give an accurate count to the caterer. There is usually a card to return with your reply. If not, you may write a formal reply or a note indicating your intention. \n\n\nRespect your invitation. \nDo not ask your host or hostess if you can bring a date or your children. The invitation will be addressed to the people invited. If you may bring a guest, your invitation will read “Mr. John Phelps and guest.” If your children are invited, they will either receive their own personal invitations or their names will be listed under yours on the envelope. This is not the time to question your host’s decision, to argue or to beg for an exception. And, please, do not add their names to a reply card or show up with them anyway! \n\n\nSend a gift. \nIf you are invited to the ceremony and/or reception, you should send a gift, whether you are attending or not. Generally, gifts are sent to the bride in advance of the wedding. In some localities, gifts are brought to the reception and placed on a special table. If you hear from family that the couple would prefer a charitable donation—as in the case of an older couple or an encore wedding —please respect their wishes. If you receive an announcement after the wedding has taken place, you may send a gift if you wish, but you have no obligation to do so. It is nice to acknowledge the announcement with a card or a note expressing your best wishes. \n\n\nBe on your BEST behavior.\nBe on time, wear appropriate clothing and be respectful during the marriage ceremony. Pay your respects to the hosts, the wedding party and other guests at the reception. And remember. \n\n“The good guest is almost invisible, enjoying him- or herself, communing with fellow guests, and, most of all, enjoying the generous hospitality of the hosts.” - E. Post
221805
I planned on keeping it simple....but I overspent.\n\nYou could take any part of the gifts I got my girls as one gift.\n\nI got everyone a rhinestone heart key chain with their first initial on it $5.99 a piece including engraving.\n\nI got everyone rhinestone hairpins at clair's boutique for 8.50 a piece.\n\nThen I got them something more personal. My matron of honor got a VERY nice collection of L'occtane lotion and soap.$75\nAnother got a magnolia spa candle from L'occtane.$25\nAnother got a box of godiva chocolate $20\nAnother got a bunch of collectors stuff from napoleon Dynomyte $20\nAnother got a new lotion collection and lip gloss from bath and body works $20\n\nLike I said, any one of those things will work. Just make sure that about the same is spent on all the girls to be equal (The maid of honor is a little different).\n\nYou could also do matching necklaces, make up bags, tee shirts, mugs, flasks, bracelets, or even manicures.....depends on how well you know your girls. Good luck and happy gift hunting.
187335
The proper etiquette is to take a gift to their house before or after the event or send a card with a gift card or money order in it.  (The amount would be up to you and what you can afford & how close you are to them.  $20-$50)  Just put yourself in their shoes, if you invited people to either event, what would you want or expect them to do?  Remember these parties are thrown to help the people that are being celebrated with their new expenses.   ;o)
459689
Dear John, \n\n     (new husband) and I would like to thank you for the money you gave us for our wedding.  We can't wait to use it to help buy our new (house, bedroom suite, table, couch-something, make somehting up if you wanna).  We really appreciate your thinking of us at this special time.  Thanks again!\n\nlove, (you)
82538
Wait until your 1 month anniversary.  If you give it to her now it seems a bit desperate.  Also, if your giving her gold after 1 week what are you gonna give her after 6 months, a year?  You'll always have to try to top yourself.  A girl doesn't need presents all the time.  Wait for a special occasion.
376810
Your 10-year old can definitely give you away....that's a great idea!\n\nAs for bridesmaid numbers, it's best to keep it to a minimum (three is a good number), and stick to the people who you are absolutely closest to, like sister, future sister-in-law, and very best, long-time friend.  \n\nOnce you stray outside of your closest circle of friends, people will start asking "why wasn't I asked to be a bridesmaid?"\n\nDon't forget as well that you'll have to pay for their dresses, hair and make-up, gifts, etc.
181199
I am a part-time event and wedding coordinator.  This is the information I give to clients.\n\nFor close friends/family; it is expected that a wedding gift will be in the neighborgood of $75 to $100 (or more depending upon the relationship).\nFor a friend/work associate/lesser acquaintance; $40 to $60\n\nShower gifts are typically in the range of $25 to $35 dollars no matter what the relationship.  If you are hosting a shower, it is not necessary for you to give an additional gift because the shower is considered your gift.\n\nIt is customary for the shower gift to cost less than the wedding gift.  Remember that the bride and groom will be appreciative of whatever you give.\n\nGood luck!\n\nCheers,\nShauna
22725
I wouldn't go with some materialistic like diamonds or a gift certificate...you'll both be getting enough wedding gifts to fit this kind of category. Rather I agree with the framing idea of a love letter. Or create something special out of a souvenir you have from a special day you shared or do something special with a photo. Better yet, (and I am getting married in July and would love this ) you could write down all the reasons you want to marry her and roll it up, place it inside an antique wine bottle and have it secretly placed in the room where she'll get dressed on your wedding day...LOVE IT!
575026
It is *traditional* to give gifts of 18, 36, or 54.  It isn't *required*, and you won't look like an idiot if you give a different amount.  If you buy a gift instead of cash (or gift certificate), the amount you spend wouldn't necessarily be in multiples of 18.  The word for "life" in Hebrew has a numerical value of 18; this is the reason for the tradition.  But I'm sure your friend would rather get $25 than $18.  :-)
671180
I quickly agreed with your daughter.  Together they should have written/signed thank you cards.  However, if there were a LOT of people at the wedding, it may have taken a while.  I've been to weddings with 300+ people and I'm not so sure I would send personalized thank you cards to each one.  Then again, not everyone brings gifts, and sometimes there are multiple people from a single family, in which one thank you card could have been written to.  Maybe she should just tell him that he should have made them more personal, and that it hurt her feelings because he is her best friend.  I wouldn't be mad that it was typed up, but it should have been more personal, such as "Thank you for the ___.  We really appreciated it.  Thanks again, (then signed by both husband AND wife)."
376730
When I got married I had a friend call me and tell me that she was just so broke and she felt bad but she just could not afford to be a bridesmaid. Now, my husband and I made the decision to pay for her expenses but if we hadn't decided on that or couldn't have done that it would have been fine for her to miss the wedding. She's my friend and I'll love her no matter what and when you're broke..you're broke...How selfish it would be for me to get mad about something like that. If she's really a good true friend, you should be able to talk to her about this.
258488
The bride is to puchase for her Attedants - Bridesmaids, Maid of Honor, Guestbook Attendant, Gift table Attendant, Flower Girl. For her mother and father. For the Groom's mother and father(groom and bride together), and for the groom.\n\nThe groom has to purchase gifts for his Attendants- Groomsman, Bestman, Ringbearer, Paige, $100 dollar donation to pastor or officiant, both sets of parents, and the bride.\n\nGrandparents aren't usually included, but that would be a nice jesture. Just think of everyone that is involved in the actual wedding ceremony and there is your answer. Also, if you have a wedding planner or coordinator - I'm sure they would appreciate a small gift......Think of your wedding like a weird christmas.........good luck!!!