Ok so my boyfriend proposes to me and then turns around and says that he wants to wait until a year and half to 2 years to get married. What the heck is up with that
135209
We are all scared to death.Unless we find someone like the one that married dear old dad.
407788
The next time that he brings it up just tell him point blank you are not ready yet, and if he would just relax a little about it maybe you will feel more comfortable getting married in the future. Just be sure to let him know that you do not want to loose what the 2 of you have now.
329832
I agree with just about everyone.  If he hasn't said it, either he doesn't feel it or he is afraid of committing to you.  Either way, if you want a committed relationship you should talk to him about it.  Saying that you love someone doesn't mean that you have to get married!  A year is plenty of time to know how you feel.  If it was something like a matter of weeks or months I'd say cool it and wait, but it has been too long.  He needs to tell you how he feels.
233135
My boyfriend and I are both divorced, and we're both a little marriage shy, so I totally understand your problem.  I want to know why 2 years is such a long time before you get married?  Most marriages are dissolved after a couple years because the people didn't know each other, I hear constantly "Well, we got married and I found out......"  That is not how marriage should be.  If you are going to spend the rest of your life with a person, you should know them in and out beforehand.  I'm a firm beleiver in living together before marriage.  Try that for a year or so, if you guys are still madly in love then you can START talking about marriage.
454835
Wow, that's a long time.\n\nIMO by the time my wife and I had gotten married it WAS just a formality...it was as you say, "just a piece of paper." \n\nHowever, that did not come from apathy...not in the least. It was that my wife was so special to me, I had already decided by that point that this was the woman I was to spend the rest of my life with. The whole point of the ring and marriage is for validation...if he is waiting so long then it appears as though he is avoiding something. \n\nIt really sounds like he just proposed to make ya happy or, forgive the phrase, shut ya up. If he had really intended to engage to you, he would have bothered to plan for a ring. It took me 6 months, the opening of my first credit card (at 27), and a lot of freaking raman noodles...but I'd be damned if I wasn't going to provide the love of my life with some sort of validation. \n\nThe ring, ceremony, etc. is just symbolic...but if he isn't willing to put up, I can't help but wonder where else he will slack later. \n\nBasically this is something I would call a problem...but please don't take my speculation or anyone elses for what is really going on. It sounds as if you guys need to have a serious discussion and decide where you are going. It sounds like you have been through a lot together, and none of those trials and tribulations are going to be over soon. \n\nYou really need to know where you stand with this guy. Good luck and hope it all turns out.
592366
My fiance and I were together almost 2 years before he proposed to me. I think it just varies from couple to couple and what feels right for them.
3106
Why in the world would you agree to this?  If he is worth marrying he will wait and you should wait.\n\nResponding to youknowit below:  All the more reason to wait and have a nice wedding.
242271
You can propose at anytime. That doesnt mean you have to get married a week after getting engaged. The marriage could be a year or two after, depending on what you both decide. Juz make sure getting married is what you want before getting married. Or you could simply buy a "promise" ring now and get an engagement ring later on. Good luck.
511274
why does he have to wait longer?...is there something that he must wait for??? hes just not ready for commitment! hes scared! that's why he keeps putting it off! dont wait around forever if you see he isn't making any progress to try to marry you then you should kick him to the curb!
635761
Sometimes you gotta go with your heart... he may be getting cold feet (at the mention of marriage) especially if he was a quote/unquote  "player" before devoting himself to a relationship with you... sometimes the hardest thing is to think "is this the one?" The risk is in the leap of faith you take, by making the vows and all... will you really love him for the rest of your life?, visa versa on his part... sometimes open lines of communication is key... keep your head up girl! maybe he just needs some time to think about his place in this... talk about things then let it go... dwelling on it will only make things become ackwardly annoying to each of you.,..say whats on your mind let him say his piece, then go on to daily routine...
530651
You normally have to have been living with your partner for 2 years. If you are not living together or haven't been living together very long, there are other options. Are you planning on getting married, because he could always get a Fiance Visa and then you have to marry within 6 months. That's what I did, because although I had been with my partner for over a couple of years, we had only been living together for 6 months. Good luck : )
74688
don't do it, he is scared he is losing you and that is the only reason he is ready of the commitment.  you need to find someone who really loves you and will marry you for the right reason, not just because they don't want to be alone.
600624
TWO YEARS IS ABOUT RIGHT TO PROPOSE.....MAYBE YOU JUST AREN'T READY
596407
He understands perfectly.  He is just trying to get you to change your mind.  Stand your ground, you are doing the right thing.  Tell him you are engaged, very much in love and respect your fiance.  Do you know his wife?  Tell him you will ask her opinion of his proposition.  If all people had your attitude, there wouldn't be anyone to cheat with. I applaud you.  Best wishes on your upcoming wedding.
201361
I would have a serious conversation with him. It would be a shame to wait another 5 years just to hear again what you're hearing now. Why doesn't he want to marry you? I would think that the prospect of marrying the person you love would make you work harder towards your goals if you know that you will be married after. Talk to him. Let him know how you feel. If marriage and children are important to you then he needs to know. He may just be nervous about commitment, but if he really loves you he will need to face that fear. Im sorry but if he doesnt feel the same way then you need to move on. I know that will be painful but its better than wasting the next 5+ years of your life hoping he will change. If he agrees to marry you, make sure its really what he wants. You will be miserableif he married you because he felt he had no choice. Best of luck.
483864
Blimey! What a rational girl you seem!\n\nThat all your friends think you should have got engaged is madness!! You did the right thing!\n\nYou have your whole life in front of you.... You're happy with this guy so why make a committment that, currently, is not something you want? \n\nChances are, if he had proposed, you would have said yes (coz you love him!) but then started to feel trapped/ resentful for having it planned so early....\n\nIts likely it WILL still be spontaneous. Eventually there will be a time when its not scary/ feels right and he'll be able to tell and it'll just happen!\n\nGood luck and well done for being SO sensible!!\n\n(i knew about 3 couples that got engaged at 21 with the intention of a long long engagement and it never lasted.... best wait til it IS right!)
137903
i dont think your ready for marriage, actually i think you should wait a while and re think what it was that brought you and your partner together. sounds like your in a slump and very confused,  but best to wait then be sorry later on. talk to him and discuss how you feel.