I have been trying with my husband for 5 years to have a family i feel it will never happen. I just want to know the joy of raising a child and now that i have not wasted my entier life
122313
I'm sorry for your pain. Maybe if you quit trying so hard you will become pregnant. You haven't wasted your life. You have been a good wife to your husband. K
592141
5 yeara of that? yickes and ouch for the kids, this cant be good for any of you and ther family..its so sad.\n\nAnyways, go to lawyers.com, they can help you find one in your state.\n\ngood luck and make sure you have the best interrest in the kids ( i wouldnt drag my kids through that, him and i compromised and the kids are happy )
91363
Oh yeah. A family is one of the things you have that others unfortunately don't, so cherish it. You never know, you might need them someday.
607360
I married for money and I can tell you that is not the way to go.  I was a single parent working to pay bills and have time for my child.  I married and became a full time Mom which I love.  But my husband is very controlling over the finances.  I have "things" and I love my children but I have no relationship with my husband.  I am just another one of his "children".  If I could do it all over I would marry for love, friendship, companionship, and someone I enjoyed being around.  Money is great to have, I love that I am not in debt and have the finaces to buy what I want but I am lonely and find life is not much fun.  I stay for the children but when they are grown I am out of this marriage!
308644
You know i have been through this situation myself.  I'm not proud.  We just kind of drifted apart after the same amount of time as you, but were only separated for about 2 months.  I really liked the feeling of freedom and meeting other people.  I still think of a certain someone now and then, especially when my husband and i get into arguments about petty stuff.  I think "why did i even come back"?  Then i realize that he has put up with all my crap and it would be so hard to start all over and put effort into a new relationship.  I also think about my kids and in today's society kids need the guidance of both parents.  Anyway, i really do love my husband, it's just sometimes its fun to think of what could have been.  \nI'm not saying all marriages are to stay together for the sake of the children, it's just if you really love each other, you need to try and get passed the other man.\n\nTry to do things with your husband, take time for yourselves.  Go to the movies out to eat, or even spend time at the park with the kids(if it applies).  And just when you feel an argument coming on think and sometimes prayer comes in handy(if you are religious). \n\nGood luck. i wish you the best.
554934
Dont rush into anything especially at such a young age there are so many people out there that do it and you know what it doesnt work out. You havent really experienced the world. How do you know what makes you truely happy? Your too young to know these things. Just take things slow and you should wait until after your 21 to get married so many things happen then in your mind that will open up your eyes to so many different things. Please please get on birth control or something make sure you are done living life and experimenting before having children.\n\nBe strong and hold your ground your far too young to be considering something like this just let him know that this is how you feel and that you both still have some growing up to do as it is. HOLD YOUR GROUND and dont let him pressure you into anything. I can tell you right now its a huge mistake.
14142
Praise God that I have not lost a child, but I do want to encourage you, I was watching my distant mentor Oprah during a show about grieving the loss of a child, she had Dr. Phil on the show that day and he said something that I will never forget, he said, instead of mourning the death of your child, celebrate the life of your child because your child probably would want you to be sad.  That lady's daughter was 18 years old and he reminded her that she should celebrate the 18 years of life she had instead of the one day that caused her so much pain.  I don't know if you believe in God, but let me offer you this, weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning.  Seek God during your time of grief and he will turn your tears of sorrow into tears of joy.  The joy of the lord is your strength, let his joy be the strength that gets you through each day!  I'm praying for you!
114673
It sounds to me like you are really enjoying your life and that your family is a very important part of that.  Do you really think that some man could fill the empty space that you would have without your family?  After all, family is forever and a relationship while hopefully forever isn't always.  I think you have a great life and that eventually you will find a soul mate without moving away if your just patient and keep trying.
141839
wow, must be that time of the year, and it is hard, especially when you have children, ask yourself will things get better???  and if you can do it, than you go girl, do you have family and friends for support???  then you need to arrange counselling with hubby, to see if you can work it out, or even ask him about that before you go, it will be hard on kids, but don't forget, they will need plenty love and security from you. all the best
84144
I have been married for right at 10 years and have 2 kids. I want it all the time. My husband is another story though. He hardly ever wants it.
287895
You really have to follow your heart on that one, my friend!  Before I met my husband, I opted to stay single for MANY years, because I just couldn't be bothered with the bs of the dating ritual and all the games that go along with that ride!!  Usually when you are not looking to fall in love is when it hits ya right between the eyes!!  Don't worry about what is right or wrong (or "normal"-whatever the heck THAT is!!) in the eyes of others...as long as YOU are comfortable with your choices, then right on!  As for choosing not to have children....I believe that it takes a more thoughtful person to decide that they do not want to raise children!  Soo many people have children for all the wrong reasons and raising a child is NOT to be taken lightly..it is a lifetime commitment full of many ups and downs.  That is a personal and very private decision that a person makes. I have alot of respect for those who know what they want (and not what they think others want for them)! Good Luck!!
65470
"I want a baby, and I want it NOW!!" Ha! Ha!  My husband is the opposite, he wants a child now but I would like to wait , I am only 20.  We decided to compromise and wait a year or so,(I wanted to wait 5 years).  I don't know what to tell you to tell him!  Maybe you should ask him what his reasons for waiting are??
117412
There really wasn't a time I decided not to.  I just never wanted to, and I've never changed my mind.  I can only think of 2-3 reasons why I'd want to have one, and they aren't good enough.  1.  To see what they look like.  2.  To have someone to take care of me when I'm old (no guarantees they'll outlive me or like me!) 3.  To name them (that's why I have cats).\n\nAs for what qualities good parents possess...there are so many.  Some that stand out are fairness, patience, love, understanding, authority.\n\nWhat would make me a good parent - this goes along with what would make me a bad parent!  My selfishness (bad) could possibly cause my children to be independent and self-sufficient.  After all, if mommy won't cook for them, they'll have to learn how to, right?
264699
I'm in Australia, so there isn't much I can help you with in regards to the laws of your country, assuming you live somewhere else. But congratulations for being a great man and father and seeing your kids as people you love not just a responsibility. Whatever happens, your children will grow up knowing they are in an environment of love and support and that will be a huge benefit and source of comfort for them. I'm separated, with five kids and their father has moved on with his life and that life doesn't involve them. Its had a ravaging effect on them emotionally. There should be more men like you. I know things are really hard and I can see how you would be feeling down and frustrated. Just remember a close family will survive anything. Good Luck. You have lucky children.
570387
I am so proud of you gal!! And even more glad that you decided to post your experience here for other woman to see that its doable..  a lot of woman just think its impossible, its hard but not impossible!! I am happy for you and your kids, you do not need a man like that in your life! I bet you will find better just give it some time as for him thinking that you will not make it on your own prove him wrong!!\nWish you and your kids all the best!
564848
Different strokes for different folks. My guy and I are as opposite as they come. We been married 13 years with four children. I hope you are as  lucky hun
121523
Well you can't force anyone to do what you want them to do.  Sometimes when you try so hard to accomplish something, like having a child, it becomes harder to do.  I think instead of worry about getting pregnant, worry about what makes the two of you happy.  Let it ride and relax and don't make love making a task.  God will bless you.  As for him getting check, most men don't want to believe that they might be the problem.  So ego is a factor.  But you have an ego too, that is something that is driving you to have this child.  Pride can be very destructive in an relationship and that is something the two of you may consider seeking help on.  Here is a question you need to ask yourself.  Is this the man you want to spend the rest of your life with???  Was having a baby a conditon of this life long happiness???  If you can answer these questions, it might help you in dealing with your current situation.  Remember, for better of for worse, through sickness and health, til death....\n\nGood Luck and I'll pray for you\n\nWT