Does anyone want to share if they are estranged or keep distance from their parents and why? Just trying to understand something, I am not here to critisize, just to keep an open mind.
138096
I wish I were just estranged from my parents. That way I could go back and tell them how much I love them. Both of my parents are deceased so that is not an option. Take good care of your parents while you have them. One day they might be gone and you can never tell them after just how much they meant to you.\nGood Luck.
596984
Well, I am an alien to my mother in law! I am from a different country, different culture, and the worst thing: I'm independent!!! She thinks that my husband (her little baby!!!) should control every single thinking I have...   What I do: as I can't change her, I just Play the role!!!!!! Visiting her once a week, and sometimes inviting her to go out.. Thing that she'll never do, but ok, I did my best.  As much as I can, I keep her "apart" from my relationship, as well as avoiding mixing, even when we are together!!!! Consider that my husband was living abroad and he understands my way - it's more than enough!!!!And of course, praying to Allah to keep me on the right way....
107049
Have you ever thought to leave the cat to your mother or another relevant, friend? Do you have this possibility?\nFor the rest, I have the same opinion as the first answerer.\nI wish you the best.\n\nKaterina
514418
I have one here. My father had an affair with his secretary and even picked her up to and fro from work in his car..he even asked me to call her mum..i declined of course. But I still claimed that I have a very happy family in front of my classmates..especially when my mother is crying practically every night and on one saturday i remembered i heard the sound of glass smashing from the kitchen. When I came out,my father disappeared and my mother was lying on the floor with fresh blood oozing out from her hand...they divorced soon afterthat. My mother refused to give me to father and I was kept away from him since then. I had a dark period for 3 years and I became anti-social,until 2 years ago when suddenly I started to open up gradually...you know what? I once stayed indoors for a consecutive 2 months.
554660
I'll be honest. The love is there for my dad, but he just was never there for me emotionally. Sure, money and house and food and all of that stuff, but he was never there when I made that A or when I was valedictorian in 6th grade... But then again, that makes me think of myself because I was the one who pushed him away.\nWell, anyway, I love my mom to pieces even though I've never told her that. She's a woman, so she understands a few of my views-- but not all. She's more empathetic, understanding, funnier, more accepting of love, and definitely nicer. \nShe sometimes wonders if I hate my dad, but I don't hate anybody so... But it is pretty damn  hard to love somebody who doesn't want to be loved.
444897
Well I don't blame you for the way you feel. Let me tell you something, my parents are separated, they have been some time now. So I am living with my mom and only my mom, things have changed with my family, I have grown up more and have more responsibility and what I think of my mom has changed.\n\nI didn't like my father either, so i decided to live with my mom, and now my life is OK...
421737
lol thank you heather for all of your concern!! hahaha that is me your talkin about!! but i look at it this way, God doesn't want us to be together and that was a way to get us apart...and plus there are other guys out there and that his parents will adore me! lol!! but ohh well his mom was a boitch any way..
121326
i know EXACTLY what your talking about. for every year i was in middle school and jr high (like 4 years) i lived in a different town and once 2 towns in like 1 school year. my dad got married and kept seperating and getting back together with my step mom and every time he did we moved. it was so hard, but the one thing i gained from it was i learned that now i cand handle any change like that that comes my way because i have already gotten through it. i just moved again to go to college this year, and it was easier because i have learned how to put myself out there and meet new people. plus i have all these experiences with different people and places that other people my age dont have. if it makes you feel any better i shed my share of tears too, and im not a cryer. it is normal to feel that way. good luck. email me if you need anything.
42133
I had a classmate who was told on the telephone that her parents were divorcing. I have never seen anybody who looked as pained as she did. Their teen years are times when people have to deal with the very issues that divorce raises. They have self esteem issues.\n\nIf their parents' marriage was a mistake, are they themselves-a product of that marriage a mistake?. If their parents stop loving each other, will they stop loving their child? The parents didn't love the child enough to stay together for his/her sake. These teen years are the times when a child is supposed to question the values they have grown up with, decide whether they have been taught correctly and formulate their own code of behavior. What are they to do when the parents themselves are not faithful to ethics what they have taught the child?\n\nThese are years when the child is supposed to separate from the parents emotionally and become his/her own person. In rebelling against the parental authority, have they themselves caused a problem in the home that brought about the divorce? Is it the child's fault? Do they dare continue the process of separating from the parent? Or can they dare to continue to depend on either parent at all and would it be safer to cut all ties emotionally and not feel anything. Which parent are they to be loyal to? Which parent are they to remain emotionally attached to? Who is at fault? Why did this happen? Can they do anything to get the parents back together again? If the child indulges in self destructive behavior, will someone pay attention to him/her or are the parents interested only in themselves or in new lovers or new families?
372328
You are an adult so why are you allowing your mother to dictate to you whether or not you have a relationship with your father?  I have been in that situation too and although my kids dad was NEVER involved I didn't stop her from seeing him when he finally decided to remember that he had a child.  A mothers true love is unconditional and if your mother has that for you then she would not hurt you this way. Your fathers other children are your brothers and sisters and you shouldn't be forced to stay away from them because of your mothers bitterness. You should see your father and give your mother her time to accept the fact and if she can't then there's no unconditional love for you.  You have to live your own life now and it's her choice whether or not she's in it.
648852
From my experience, coming home late or breaking curfew was a major way of testing my parents trust. Considering your ages, I am surpised that your parents are so restrictive. Ask yourself, what is this 'bad' that they think you're doing? Did your parents come from deeply religious families? Were your parents also restricted by their parents? What about her parents? It may not be fair, or make a whole lot of sense these days, but that could explain some of their methods. Do you or your girlfriend have troubled pasts, maybe trouble with the law? Did you ever have a truancy problem with school? Don't think that I am blaming their behavior on you, I just want you to think of all  possibile reasons. It almost sounds like you two live a bit far away from eachother, and that might explain why you're only allowed to see eachother twice a week, and talk on the phone for only half an hour a day. Have I nailed it yet? No? Okay, parents may not seem to make any sense some of the time, but they are your parents. Like it or not they have say into your relationships. The more you show respect for them and their wishes, usually the more trust they'll have for you. So if you're considering sneaking around after dark or anything like that, don't try it. Chances are you'll get caught, and just imagine how often you'd get to see her then? Probably not at all. I know this is a hard time for you both, you're almost legal adults, but until you turn the magic age of 18, you just have to bite down and endure this. You will get through this, just be patient with her and your parents. I am going to assume that talking with your parents wont make much of a difference, but there is nothing wrong with trying. Ask them what it is that they fear so much, and do your best to put that fear to rest. Assure them that you intend to follow their wishes, and do so when you're out with her. If they see that you're true to your word, the less likely they are to shorten the leash. I get the feeling that their fear is your sexual activity. It is my personal opinion that you two are at the ages when your sexuality is your business, however a parent will feel like your business is always their business. You can be 50 years old, and they'll still consider you their baby. Being that your sexuality is your business, I hope you wont mind if I give you a piece of advice: protect you and your girlfriend and use a condom every time. Anyway, you will get through this, I promise. Good luck.
667143
Looking at pictures of my daughter.You see she refuses to see me or talk to me.I do not know the reasons for this.I divorced her dad when she was 18.Since then she will not have anything to do with me.My ex and my own sisters turned her against me.She has two children now and I have never seen them not even in a picture.I miss her and love her so very much and it is making me cry now.I will continue to pray to God for an answer.Yes I have tried to contact her by phone and by letters and e-mail.She just refuses to tell me why.Just why is all I want to know.I can't watch anything that shows a love between a mother and her daughter without crying and it's been 6 years now.
600264
My father was this way and still is for the most part. He suffers from post traumatic stress syndrome, it's a result of him being in a war. This is by far no excuse but with it being my father i feel that there is no way i could really just walk away from him. I maintain a relationship with him as best i can. When he gets to be verbally abusive i just chalk it up as him being the other side of the coin and walk away. Basically not taking it to heart, I know he loves me deep down but he just can't show how he feels because of certain things that went wrong in his life. If your parent is really abusive though and you just can't get past the fact that they are like then maybe the best thing for all is to walk away. I ,on the other hand, can't just walk away since i have small children and don't want to take their grandparent away from them. My father is never mean to the children. Yes he has yelled at them a little to much but that's when i pack them up and we leave. He knows that im not happy when i do leave and we tend not to go over there for a while. Most times he says he is sorry and things are ok for awhile.
136499
Well, I'm not one of those Christians, so I can't really speak for them. If you have sensed that they fear you, I don't get it. I do know some Christians that feel they should disassociate themselves with non-Christians just because they don't have anything in common if they don't even believe in the same God. Also, many families want their kids to be close to other Christians because being around people who believe differently can open up issues that they feel would not come up if they only hang out with Christians. However, only hanging out with kids who go to church won't necessarily keep your kids from sin. Where do you think I learned all of my dirty jokes? (Christian School!) I think, though, that we need to accept those who feel they should be separate....as long as they are the ones to leave the public area instead of them trying to keep others who are different out. Did that make any sense?
336218
I was 9 when I lost my mom. Not an important event goes by without me thinking of her and missing her. Im 28 and sometimes I get mad at HER for not being here for things like her grandchildren or to give me advice. It DOES get easier. I say this because the pain only goes on for so long then you adjust to it. Pain will be there it just won't be as horrible as it seemed in the beginning. I just hope to see her someday when its my time. It sucks more than anything in the world to lose a parent. My advice is n to see a counsler or better yet find others who have lost parents and share stories and tears if need be. Your on a good start here finding others. Maybe there is a loss support group in your area. I didn't like the counslers when I was younger due to the fact we had no connection. They didn't lose their mom but wanted to talk to me about my loss. Good-luck and keep your head up. Remember God doesn't give us more then we can handle (sometimes it feels like it)
366449
I have not lost a parent. I have lost a brother. We were approx. 12 months apart in age. He died drinking and driving when I was 20 and he was 19. I was devastated, but never cried about it. He and I had talked about death but not our own. There isn't a day goes by I don't think about him. I am sad, on the inside, but not depressed. I can talk about him with great pride and conviction without crying a drop. And about the loss..... is there anyway to describe the feeling of emptiness and loss? No, but we can not dwell on what we can not change. I do know that my life would be completely different if he were here. I moved 1000 miles from home, just to get away from the sadness, it didn't help. But it did change the whole direction of my life. I will not say that it is a mental illness to have feeling like this, but it is very difficult to express the way you truly feel. I try not to talk about it but feel better when I do. His birthday was last week 10/25. Mine is today.
531019
Cutting is an interesting action and one that causes great concern to a parent. I know kids that just outgrew the need.  If you have developedd the skills to cope without cutting yourself, it may be time to develope the skills to discuss this with your parents. You are the most important person to them and they are hovering because they do not want you to hurt yourself - just at the time in your life when you would like more freedom. So work on getting that trust and independence balance back. Start with a chat. But remember, you are not a renter in the house so you will not be ignored - you are a family member and need family interaction too.