her being pregnant is not the problem, the problem is that her boyfriend has stayed at our house every night since then which has been 5 months.  I am just sick of having an extra roomie and I think that he should pay rent too.  Is this fair? How do I tell her that I am sick of this situation? I can't even walk around my house in my underwear!
127953
Tell her it makes you uncomfortable with him in the house with you. If you didn't establish the no men rule when you got a roommate she gonna act all pissy and fight you for a bit. If she don't get him out threaten to leave and make her find a way to pay rent. Maybe she will reconsider if she think you seriously leaving her.
664698
Girl, both of you need to get a place of your own. Don't you know that as long as you live with her you are never gonna be your "own woman" in her place. She is always gonna blame you and take his side. She needs to stay the heck outta your business.
468258
If I was You!!!! I couldnt deal w/ it. But I guess you already made a decision and U will let him stay until he finds a place to go. But the point here is, how long  it is gonna take for him to find the place? if you R paying for rent and bills is he helping U out??? if he is not I think it will take longer for him to go. Plus if you guys are in good conditions now (as friends) why ruin it??? tell him to move to one of his friend's house because if U guys R not 2gether anymore and U are looking @ him @ your house everyday, doing the same things as a couple but w/out "rights" that is not helping U @ all. I can tell just by your writing that U still care for him a lot, but if it is over, IT IS OVER,  as he is moving out of your life he has to move out of your house. For his b-day you can buy him something (if you havent done it yet) but something simple for U not to feel bad about, but no cake, no party, no special dinner 'cause you dont have to. \n\nGood luck and dont think about him anymore, just think about U and how it will affect you to have him in your house longer, he will soon start dating and U will find that horrible. \n\nHE HAS TO GO NOW!!!!
595268
I'm in the same position you are.  I cannot STAND my hubby's ex, and the very idea of her setting foot on my property makes me crazy.\n\nThat being said, your opinion is not the important one here - it's the child's.  The 9 year old will not understand why his mommy can't come into his house, regardless of how you explain it to him.  However, it is okay to make certain rooms off limits to ALL visitors (not just mom) - and make sure he knows which ones.\n\nShe's just trying to get under your skin - and by being bothered by her actions is letting her win.  Just smile, be civil, and pretend everything is right as rain.  It'll bug the heck out of her.  Good luck!
320362
Well both are over 20 neither is working but she is looking if they don't get a job with with in a couple of weeks I would tell them he has to go! He is not your responsibility well neither is she but she is your daughter, But you do not have to support him and the $60 he gets a week should go towards bills! If he isn't paying anything then yes you have a right to tell him to get a job or what to do. Because she isn't helping out either! When she gets a job and he don't is she willing to pay for a third of everything? If she is then let her but don't pay for more then your share.  But till either or both get a job and start paying their part of the bills you have the right to tell them what to do! Sounds to me like he is a bum and wants to live off you and your daughter why she would let that happen I don't know. Talk to the father but his son is old enought to take care of himself but maybe he can help you and talk to his son and get him to go to work! Who knows he might just give you the $60 a week instead of him! GOOOOOOOOD luck!
208018
Everyone on this planet has days or weeks like what you are describing...that's life. First of all, ask yourself, is this the worst that's happened to me. The answer is probably no.....is this the worst that will happen to me, no way.I'm not super religious, I've always told myself, that God will not give me anything that I can't bear.In your situation, being a single Mom, you've taken care of all of your responsibilities for this period,you didn't say whether or not you and your babies had food,assuming you do,you're set. After the kids go to bed tonight,sit down and look at the positives,I think you've done swell,I can't see me raising two kids....plus for you......rent is paid....plus for you.I know you don't need sex. All in all, I'd say you've done a real good job.You sound like a strong person...that doesn't come and go,you're still that.That won't change,(I could like you )you'll take care of the next two weeks,because it's in you.We have a couple of sayings from Viet-Nam..Don't sweat the small s**t!..Look for the worst,hope for the best,f**k the rest!!This time will go by..you'll make it..you'll look back and laugh,then give yourself credit for staying strong.KEEP YOUR HEAD UP GIRL...YOU ARE AS STRONG AS YOU THINK YOU ARE!!!!
35480
Easy. Grow a pair of balls and tell her that she has 90 days to move out unless she pays rent. Tell here that when her 90days are up she will either pay the rent or you will throw her stuff out in the yard. \n\nIf she doesnt pay throw all of her stuff in the front yard and change the locks. \n\nIf you threaten her but do not follow through with it she will never respect you. \n\nBTW I am 25 maried w/ kids of my own. (Notice I can see it from her perspective as far as age is concerned and yours as far as a parents perspective is concerned
464344
girl, life is too short to be married to your landlord.  I am sure it was the booze talking.  If you decide to stay in the building, you will  now have to decide should you have a business relationship with your landlord or try to continue on a friendship level.\n\nFor me, I don't think I could put up with her telling me to move everytime she has a drink.\n\nBest of luck
59773
I'm sorry, but this isn't your choice.  It is their house and their rules.  You can ask them but you need to respect their decision.  If you don't like their answer then you and your boyfriend need to get a place of your own.
8474
wow-i can relate having moved in w/friends a month ago after leaving my husband. be honest and upfront. sit her down w/your facts written out in front of you.\n\nHave a time-line for you to leave if she cannot pay her share. If she's in over her head - offer to help her find subsidized housing/sell her place etc.\n\nIt's awful to lose good friends over money, honesty is the best policy before you and your other half resent her or worse. Good luck and Happy New Years, Pat
207006
Since she is saying you can't go out, I'm assuming you still live with her. I'd say what you need to do is move out. Two kids, a FT job and school is a pretty big amount of responsibility, yes, but if you're relying on her heavily as unpaid daycare and free rent, she will be able to continue to lord it over you and with a certain amount of justification.\n\nYou're sorta in a position where you've gotta pick your battles. You can attempt to sit down with her and have a mature conversation about how far you've come and what your future plans are, and that you do have a lot of responsibility, and you need time out with your friends to wind down now and then. I personally would either skip the tattoo for now - make it something that will be a 21st birthday present to yourself.\n\non the other hand, if i'm right that she is providing room, meals, and/or daycare to you free, you really AREN'T being a full-fledged adult. My advice to you is to move out and BE a grown up for real. I can tell you from personal experience that ANYONE can figure out a way to make this happen. find low-income housing, check in with WIC for help on some expenses, get the kids' dad to provide some support, etc. there are tons of resources out there if you look. To be a real adult you MAY have to go on welfare for a while, you may have to live in a much different type of situation than you are used to, but you'll be truly independent and self-sufficient. plus if you are no longer a dependent on your mother, she can't claim you on her taxes, which means you'll be totally seperate from you and you can start applying for need-based financial aid for school.\n\nNow, all this said, maybe you already are living on your own, she isn't babysitting or doing other stuff for you free, and she's just all up in your business. if that is the case, i'd just lay it on the line in no uncertain terms. i did that with my mother and we didn't talk for several months. she was furious that i would stand up to her. but i was totally on my own - she had no reason to rule my life. eventually she realized this and we're great now. and in your case, she'd probably come around sooner cause she'd miss the grandkids too. anyhow.\n\neither way, good luck. parents can be more exhausting than kids sometimes...
459314
i think it is great you stay home to help out. plus most people our age and younger don't have that option to live at home! but your boyfriend, i wouldn't worry as long as he makes an effort to move out or puts money away to move out, or shows some sort clue that he doesn't want to live at home forever.
194973
I think if at all possible you might have to get moved to a different dorm room. It sounds like you are living with a child personality. Unless his friendship means a lot to you, and unless you are willing to exhibit more patience and explain that you are on a budget and can't share food anymore and then stick to your guns, it sounds like it's time to move.
289199
Well since that happened to me a yr ago, I suggest that u tell him that it's over and that u want him to be part of the baby's life. In my situation her and me have an understanding where I get to have him for 2 weeks out of the month and so does she. She just came out and told me, I wasn't so happy about it but I got use to it and realized that she really wanted it to be over. Anyways if U need some more advice on this e-mail at elguapo_v12@yahoo.com Well good luck and remember just sit down with him and tell him what u really feel...
387860
Why are all of you people acting like she is the bad one here!!!!!!!!!????????  She has every reason to be pissed off!  She is getting stuck with all the bills and the lease.  If she signed the lease with you, you have a case.  If not just chalk it up as a lesson learned and never allow yourself to be in that situation again.  As far as getting even goes just make sure everyone knows what a low life sponging mooch she really is.
541482
You didn't say how long you have been involved with him. His mom may think you two don't know each other very well, and doesn't want to see either of you get hurt. Be sure you tell mom that you are grateful to her for giving you a place to stay during the rough times, and you feel it is time for you to move out and get your life back on track. Tell her you are sorry that she doesn't agree with you guys moving in together, but that you guys care deeply for one another...maybe she just needs to hear it from you.
246161
At 21 she is a legal adult. he is just feeling over protective. talk to him WITHOUT making it sound like a big deal to you, unless he doesnt take it seriously. If he wont listen help your daughter out! hel her find an apartment/condo/ she can even live wiht you!