Recently she wanted to break up,as her husband is coming back(they were separated) But then she changed her mind,even that she knows the risk (her child could be taken away,etc.)I don't understand what is on her mind! So now she wants to go both ways! What to do!?
131206
"she wants to have her cake and eat it too!" what that means is she wants to keep you both around for her own reasons. you gotta make her choose because the longer you stay and let her think its okay, she's gonna keep you both around. if she won't choose, walk away and don't look back.
432543
She's looking for a safe, unhurtful way to tell you that she wants to split.  Chances are she's wanting to try things out with someone else (but she doesn't want you to know this), then if things don't work out with the other guy; she always has faithful and waiting you to come back to.  Tell her to go ahead and figure her stuff out, but don't expect for you to wait around.  You don't need that kind of hurt.
644356
no, i don't think she knows what she wants. i really wouldn't live with someone until i know we are for good. i'd probably get married first anyway. if you two break up, which you probably will if she continues to shy away from building your relationship, co-inhabiting with an ex is hell, and moving out is hell, it's all like one big divorce for nuthin. i'd hold off, please for your sake if not for hers! her thinking is naive, you'll both get hurt.
72782
I would say to back off for a while.\nIt seems that (for whatever reason) she doesn't really know what she wants.
196747
You don't need to know what's on her mind .You need to get out of this situation as fast as you can. She is married w/a kid and you are in a no-win deal. Her husband is going to have to deal with her and her issues and you don't really have a dog in this fight.The sex might be good,but this woman has more baggage than a cargo terminal.Recipe for disaster,my friend.
23992
It sounds like she has no respect for you and has no consideration for your feelings.  Why would you want to be with a woman like this? Would she be so understanding if you were spending your free time with another woman?  You need to take charge of the situation and put your foot down let her know that this is unacceptable behavior and if she refuses to put a stop to it you know that she is not the one for you.  Ultimately the decision is yours do you want to live this way and if she is not looking out for your childrens best interest than maybe you need to.
164139
Even if she wanted the divorce and she no longer loves him, (which is unlikely because you can not turn off all your feeling that quickly) she probably is not ready to date.  There is a lot of remorse and even more guilt that goes along with asking for a divorce.  Even though she may have wanted it she still has to mourn the loss of what was and what might have been. Then she needs time to heal and to totally let go as well as time to work through the guilt and begin to build up her confidence again.  Don't rush her, you do not want to encourage her before she is ready and before she has moved through the recovery steps.  She may need somewhere between 4-7 years.  i know it sounds like a long time, but unless you have been through a divorce yourself you can not know all that is involved and it doesn't matter who wanted it it just takes time.
551591
Been there done that.Yes shes confused.Shes probably not sure who she wants to be with so when something happens she bounces back to the other.Kinda like a safety net so she doesnt gert hurt.\nTell her you wont be with her unless she makes up her mind.And If she does it again, dont go back.Shes toying with you and will do it as long as you let her. BELIEVE me.
185214
Ok...from what I have seen...\n\nReal reason why she's leaving: Pregnancy\n\nShow reason why she's leaving: She requested a new partner because she and her partner got into a fight.  Her partner is afraid to lose her so he's pushing her away!
661963
In my opinion the two people involved are obviously unhappy with their lives so they need to decide what exactly it is that they want and move on. If you're unhappy in the marriage let it go and be together but if there's still a chance that they can salvage the marriages than they need to walk away from the affair. In any case a decision must be made. It's not fair to anyone involved if things stay the way that they are.
106730
Hey man I know where you are coming from. My wife just told me that cheated on me with another man about 2 months ago. I went nutts, but not too bad. Luckily she told me at our preachers house. After she told me I did not know what to do. Because in the bible it states that that is the only reason for divorce. I sat down and talked with her and the preacher. We agreed that we would stay together. I wanted to leave her but then I didn't. I love her so much, and not only because we have kids. I am still having a hard time getting over it. Like I said it has already been 2 months since she told me and I still can not sleep nor trust her. There are still times when I want to leave but I can't because I love her too much. Also you don't want to go out and do the same thing she did. It won't do any good, except have a burden on your shoulders. Just hang in there man. Pray about it and see what God wants you to do. God Bless!
346775
You're not alone !!!! Going thru the very same thing right now ! SHE is the one that ultimately decided that things were going to end......and yet, she wants to be "friends". I say FU(K THAT!!!! Don't let me trust you, love you, believe in you (and 'us') give me hopes of a future...and then take it away and expect me to still WANT to be 'friends'....knowing that someone else is having what was supposed to be mine/ours.....!!!!!!
213705
Sorry to hear the situation you are in. I hate to say it, but somebody IS getting hurt. Just because her husband doesnt know YET doesnt mean it wont kill him inside when he finds out. \n\nAs for you, I think she is just using you...she would have left her husband long before you came around if she didnt want to stay. Her man is probably just not fufilling her needs, either emotionally or sexually...you filled that void for her, but I am betting you are not as important to her as he is. What will likely happen is she will eventually leave you all together and go back to him.\n\nI am sorry if this sounds brutal, but sometimes it is hard to see the truth when you are IN the situation. I dont think she is trying to play games with you nor is she trying to hurt anybody...just trying to fill a painful void with a caring man. If it were not you, it would be someone else. I really hope you dont get hurt here and sever this relationship; there IS a good, SINGLE woman out there for you who will want ONLY you. Not all of us play games. Take care\n\n------------------------------------------------------------\nYou are very welcome ;) Good luck in finding a nice woman!\n------------------------------------------------------------\nOh! That makes it SO hard. I thought I had the one too, not that long ago. I was with him for 2 and 1/2 years and even was engaged to him and trying to have children. I found out that since the day we met, he had been lying to me consistantly and had even created a profile on a dating web site days before he purposed to me.  \n\nLike my ex, this woman is telling you all the things you want to hear and you are completely devoted to her. The fact that you have to question it means your head is trying to tell you it is wrong, but your heart is arguing. You are trying to find some execuse for her actions, some way to beleive she cares for you as much as you for her. Trust me, your heart is making you lie to yourself, dont get caught in this trap! She doesnt really care for you...only herself, or she wouldnt be hurting the people she is SUPPOSED to be caring about (her husband OR you). Tell her you love her too much to play second string to her husband...you NEED to communicate here. Give her an ultimatim; say him or you. That is how you will find out the truth. I know you dont want to pressure her, but if she loved you, it SHOULD NOT have even been a necessity. It is time for the games to stop.\n\nYour heart is invested here and you will get hurt one way or the other...only you can decide how much. Even if she DOES decide to leave her husband (which I doubt) she will likely cheat on you in a few years (once a cheater, ALWAYS a cheater). The longer you are with her the more pain you are going to suffer! I feel it would be best if you broke it off and NEVER spoke to her again...then you can tend to your broken heart. Trust me...I know your pain. I wanted to kill myself when I left my man, but things will get brighter and you will see this woman DOES NOT deserve you! There WILL be someone better for you. Heal your heart and give it time. You CAN make it through this.\n------------------------------------------------------------\nI know :p Thanks. I wouldnt say that I know a lot...I have only been in one relationship. What I do know is based on a few things; that one relationship gave me more experience than I could ever have wanted, friends and their experiences and watching WAY to many talk shows :p My personality helps too, I guess...I am empathetic, can see all sides and I have really high morals. Ultimatly, you need to do what you feel is right and try not to let your heart rule you (as you would be supprised what you can convince yourself of just to follow your emotions). I really hope things work out for you! So many men are players and it is good to see one that goes against the rule!\n-----------------------------------------------------------\nYou are very welcome. I would be happy to provide my two cents on an
108950
Question, how is her relationship with her husband? Are they going through tough times and divorcing? Does she really love him or just cares about him. Loving him and caring about him are totally different. Perhaps she meant that she cares about him (reason:length of the marriage, or if they have children), and if she told u that she loves you have you seen any confirmation of that love? I don't mean physically, cause if you want her 2 prove 2 u that she loves u by having a physical connection, and she's still working on her problems (and she could also be conservative for that matter) maybe u could give her time to sort things out. Be there to support her but be patient. It's tough to go through a separation or divorce, and it'll take time. But if you do really love and care about her, you'll be there for her, especially at this tough times in her life. Be frank and honest about your feelings, and keep your communication open. But keep a safe distance, it's better 2 wait till the coast is clear b4 u 2 get physical to prove ur love 4 each other..(meaning, wait 4 them 2 finish all the legality of the divorce) so that u won't get hurt. Keep your senses acute, talk 2 her 2 get her side. If I really care 4 that someone, I'd wait, if that person is really worth waiting 4. Great partners only comes like a Haley's comet...if u know what I mean. But once u weigh everything and sense that your relationship isn't going anywhere then it'll be time 2 move on.
444181
no one can be talking for him. so i don't think she is putting those words into his mouth. i have dated guys that were separated and i had nothing to do with their relationships with their wives. just because he slept with someone does not mean that he is moving on for her. it was probably just sex. my guess is that he really does want to move. regardless of the other woman.
666429
OK, "marry her if you truly love her"??  What the fuck is that?  That's not an answer?  The girl obviously doesn't want to be with him anymore, so how is he supposed to marry someone who isn't with him anymore?  Jees, some people's kids, I swear!\n\nMy advice is to throw in the towel.  If you read one of my questions, it's not the same...but it's the same concept!  You are in love with her and she has given up on your love, correct?  I.E.-the coming and getting of all of her things brings the closure to the relationship-she has given up on the relationship.  I know it will be super hard...I've been there...it was even harder coz my kids were involved.  There will be a lot of decisions in your life that you WON'T want to make...but you realize that you have to!  Like this one...she's not coming back.  It's possible...in the future, when she realizes how stupid she was being...but as of right now and probably the next few months at least...she's moved on...you should try to, as well.  If you need to talk to someone about this, contact me!  I will try to help you through this...I've been through TWO extremely hard break-ups.  good luck!
498132
I think she is still upset about the breakup so she needs time to think about everything that has happened. Deep down even though she is being distant with you she really wants to open up to you but she is so hurt, but dont give up on her give her the time she needs even though it may be a little tough. When she is ready to talk she will trust me!