My wife doesn't want sex, how do I get her to please me?
126001
if you really care about her, you wouldn't ask her for that, and understand how she feels. She doesn't live just to please you.
418208
Aside from using devices to human sexual response (like the ones Masters and Johnson used), you can't--you just have to take her word for it.\n\nHowever, to try to remedy her faking an orgasm, try utilizing foreplay and stimulate each/many of her erogenous zones.\n\nPlus, talk to her about sexuality.  Open communication regarding what both she and you like can create intimacy and a greater sense of sexual connection.  Just be sure not to take anything out of context--you are looking for a way to be more intimate with your wife and not a way to be defensive.  If you can have good communication regarding sex, you will know whether or not she is having orgasms during intercourse.  At the very least, she will be able to tell you what she would like to happen during sex (after all, there is more to sex than just intercourse).
140929
do not talk about it when you are in bed this puts to mucvh pressure on her. sit on the couch and say i would like to talk about our sex life. (jump in fast with the next bit) i love everything but i want to try something new. so for the next weekim gonna get as many mens magazines that have sex tips and if you do the same we can come back on friday and compare notes and stuff. \nit is very important to not all of a sudden say hey i want bu tt sex especially if she is traditional. \nso take your time and move slow but make sure to find a how to on what you want but only one so that she can see what you might be into and you can see what she might be into.\nand a few tips on if you get what you want go SLOW. start small and careful so that she knows you care about her having fun too because you DO. if she likes it thats great i hope she enjoys it but if you go to fast or hurt her and dont pay attention to her comfort level you will not get anything new.
132844
It is common for women to lose interest after a hysterectomy.  It's hormonal hun.  She probably can't 'help it'.  Much like men who have Erectile Dysfuncion because of blood pressure or diabetes.  \n\nI believe you need to have a very honest and open talk with her.  Sex is a PART of marriage.  It isn't the end all be all, but it is a part of it.  Explain that you are lonely and that you miss being close to her.  That you miss making love with her.  Is there anything that you have done wrong or are there things 'she'd like to try' or that 'she feels have been missing from the sex life'?  If the answers are all 'no progress', ask her if she's considered that many women have no sex drive after hysterectomy's and/or menopause, and would she be willing to see her doctor about 'female viagra'?  If she stil is unwilling or unopen to any solutions then you need to put it very bluntly but carefully.\n\nI am still your hubby, I still love you,  I still want you.  I am still WANT to be a sexually active man, what would you suggest I do at this point?  No suggestions have been acceptable to you, should we try counseling or what would you prefer that I do now?  Because for me, no sex period is not an acceptable option for me anymore.  \n\nBest of luck to you and I'll hope it works out for you both!!
161828
I can understand your frustration... I really can. But infidelity is a very large burden to bear. You say that you love your wife? Have you honestly sat down with her and openly talked about what you need sexually? Most men won't...they ask for sex, but they don't really talk about it. Even though it may be hard, have the talk with her. She may have issues that you don't even know about, and she is using her "medical" problems to avoid intimacy... I have done the same in the past (most women have at one time or the other). She could also have a legitimate reason, and you will have to make the decision if being celibate is what your willing to practice if you stay with her. Tough decisions definitely await you. Peace.
329478
I've offered this suggestion many times, and it has a great success rate...OR it shows you exactly what you have in store...Set up a nice, romantic setting - THIS IS NOT FOR SEX..DON'T LET IT GO THERE THIS TIME...Tell her that ahead of time when she sees the atmosphere.  Tell her you want to learn more about her needs and wants.  Have a list of questions in mind or on paper...show her you've really thought this out...example of questions you should ask...\n\nWhat turns you on?  Does the idea of candlelight and roses OR handcuffs and rope get you more aroused.  Do women, multiple people, couples, or just one man excite you.  Is there anything you've wanted to experiment with that you may have felt embarassed about?  Does playing with food, role playing, dressing up, anything possibly out of the ordinary.\n\nFind out what turns her on NOW...it may be very different from what you once knew...people change...and women change fast!!!\n\nMany times women have cravings that they are afraid or embarassed to admit...and nothing else fulfills them so they just put off sex because it's not worth it to them.\n\nOTHERWISE....\n\nShe's just done ...and you should move on...the way she reponds to your questions should give you some great indicators.\n\nGood Luck
291440
Well if she used sex to "get you"....then it must have been pretty good, right?  Just try to re-kindle that.  You know it's in there somewhere, don't let her stop just because you're together now, you still have to make eachother happy and satisfied.  Don't cheat just yet.  Tell her you want her, and you miss the sex...compliment her and build her up a little..she'll be turned on before you know it.
239786
Making love to a women starts in the am, during the day. Start by being sweet, loving, not grope, not grab ass. When you get to the bedroom, tell her to tell you what she wants, open COMMUNICATION is KEY, be slow.... kiss her neck, shoulders, make love to her. pay attention to the noises she makes, stroke her gently get her worked up then when she is wrapped up in what you are doing and things are moving along then try inserting, but go slow make sure she is taken care of. oral is always good to get her going. but most important she has to be honest with what she wants from you if she won't communicate to you it's not your fault she isn't enjoying it. Don't stress, relax have fun enjoy it. every women is different yet similar so what worked on your last partner may not work on the current one. I take a little from each relationship and try it out and what works I keep. Good luck
336615
Aww come on dude, a woman needs to feel loved (love not sex)I am always there for my wife, I talk to her, I listen, sometimes she only wants to talk out a problem and does not want me to provide the answer. I take my share of cleaning the house (I work full time to provide the best for her as well).\nShe says she feels warm and contented when with me. I spend as much time as possible with her.\n\nI know what you are worried about, if you get everything else right, then sex will never be a problem, for me it is awesome.
589436
work your way up to it. See how far she is willing to go without having sex. Or you can use the super dooper easy method and just ask!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
152187
Gosh NO!  How desperate are you?\n\nYes she can get bored & tired of it.  If she says no, she just doesn't want to hurt your feelings, or she's scared of losing you if she sets boundaries, or she's just really immature/insecure.\n\nDoes she never pursue you?  HOW BORING!  Do you not want your girl to show initiative/attraction to you?  Do you only ever want her for sex? Does it not bother you that she doesn't get a chance to show that she wants you because you keep hogging all the attraction communication?  If I were her, I would put you on ice for a month (refuse privileges) until you could see me as a person, not just a humping machine (unless of course I just dumped you right away), and so I could have a chance at the flirting fun too.  \n\nAre you 18?  If not, you should be able to control yourself for at least 48 hours, gee.  \n\n"Please please can I have sex?"  "Oh sure."\nThat's what it sounds like you do twice a day from your question.  D E S P E R A T E men don't keep their women long.\n\nNow, having said all that, you have not given sufficient information to answer your question without assuming the worst possible scenario.  So considering your "every chance" might be once a week if you don't see her much, you might then just want to make sure you communicate that you value her as a person, and if she knows how important sex is to you, she will indicate it through inviting you inside, or    initiating a kiss, or whatever, you should NOT have to beg or ask continually.  Just kiss her, treat her like you want her to feel like the amazing woman she is, and if she is open for more, you will feel it in her body language and you can move in.  Stop asking like a begging dog.
220251
It sounds like having intercourse with your wife is more than just a sexual release for you. It is "the whole package" - the emotional bonding, as well as the physical response.\nStart slow. Make time for sitting together with your arm around her. Use that time to talk about what's happening in the every day events of your lives. "How do you think our kids are doing?" "How was work today?" "Are you interested in changing our routine (the foods we eat, who does the cooking, where we go for entertainment)?"\nThen discuss with her that you've been considering her recommendation, but think it would be unsatisfactory. She may be more understanding of your need for her touch.
260495
Stop pressuring her and make her feel loved and safe.  Try some foreplay.  \n\nMost antidepressants decrease the sex drive so there isn't much more you can do.  See if she can switch to one that has low sexual side effects.
341023
well, i would say that she is just not interested in you, no offense but, if she was never like this before then i would say you two need to get into counseling to help her to want you.\nWhat takes away 95% of  a women's sex drive? Wedding cake
656225
You can't. She feels comfortable in the bed, let her be where she wants to be or just don't have sex with her. xD
164954
Have you told her how you feel?  I'm sure she, like most women and some men, after a long day feels sex is the last thing on her mind.  You have to romance her, woo her, sweep her off of her feet.  Women like it when you do things for her without her asking you to, like cook dinner or clean up after the kids or yourself.  It can tend to be a good aphrodisiac.  Hope this helps.
170764
I think you should talk to your wife and explain to her how important sex is to you in your relationship.  Tell her you need to have sex in order to make you happy and even keep you there.\n\nAlso, ask her what are her feelings and views on sex and why she turns you down.  Try to figure out if there are things you can do differently (don't automatically assume she is satisfied) and most importantly, encourage your wife to explore her own sexuality so she will feel comfortable opening up to you and having sex with you more often, not simply out of her obligation to you, but because she enjoys sex and enjoys you.\n\nIt takes time to build a healthy sexual relationship with someone and you both have to explore what sex means to you individually and together.  It seems you want a more sexually spontaneous wife and there isn't a thing wrong with that to me.  Life is to short (or too long) to go without something vitally important to your happiness.  Most women don't grow up with a healthy sense of their own sexuality and it sounds like your wife doesn't have a sense of her own and she needs to work on that within herself.\n\nAfter all that, if things still don't work out, you need to realize that sex is important to you, there's nothing wrong with that, and you might not be able to sustain your relationship with her if you can't work it out.  \n\nDon't have an affair though, you need to learn how to work with a woman you actually love to learn how to sustain a healthy sexual relationship in the long term, affairs are only short term solutions and never deepen a sexual experience, just distract you from dealing with the hard stuff.