He ask me if I would ever do it with him and I did not say any thing.I really love him, but I do not think I am ready to have sex with him.
120182
If you have to ask this question, you're clearly not ready. Your heart will tell you when you're with the right person and it's the right time. \n\nIf you have even the tiniest bit of doubt about going ahead with your first time, STOP! You can always save it for another time, but once you've done it, you can't undo it. There is nothing worse than sleeping with someone for the wrong reason.\n\nGenerally speaking, there's often a huge emotional investment when it comes to a girl's first time. While your first time won't be the best time, and sex gets better the more you do it, that's no reason to set lower standards. \n\nYour first time certainly doesn't have to be all roses and teddy bears, but at least make it something you remember with fondness rather than regret. The best thing you can do to ensure that, is to choose the right person, and let it happen naturally. If anything feels forced or "wrong", it's not the right time.\n\nIf you want to wait till marriage, there's nothing wrong with that - however, with around 50 per cent of marriages ending in divorce, I can't see any good reason to make a fuss over it. People can be married on paper and it's all for convenience - yet others for whatever reason aren't married but love each other with total commitment and don't need a legal bond to live up to the expectations of a spouse. I think that people who are devoted out of love and not a legal tie deserve far more respect than people who are in a loveless marriage.
146765
Yes my dear, I know what you mean. If you're scared, don't go. \n\nDoes he know you're a virgin? You didn't say how long you two have been dating. If you've dated him a long time and he knows you are a virgin and has been respectful, never questioning you or pressuring you, then it MIGHT be okay. I still think if you are afraid or it makes you uncomfortable, then you should do what feels right to you and not go. If you feel you might be pressured to have sex and you are not ready to, then do not go. \n\nI am not a virgin any more, but know how this feels. Let me share a story with you:\nI am a single woman (previouly married many years ago). I was dating a guy for a few months and I really liked him, but had not had sex with him. We kissed on our dates, and it was very hot, but kept it at that level, just kissing, no "heavy petting". He invited me on a ski trip for a week. We had not travelled together before, or even spent a weekend together, so I was a bit hesitant. (I should have paid attention to that feeling; that was my intuition.)  I really did not think he would pressure me. He had been very well mannered. I would not have gone otherwise. I knew spending that much time together would let us really get to know each other. We got along well and it would be fun, especially because we both like to ski.\n\nOn that trip, he started by wanting me to sleep in the same bed with him. I actually didn't have much choice, the room only had one bed. I should have known right there that a real gentleman would have made sure there were 2 beds or asked me if I was okay with the sleeping arrangements. I felt a little uneasy about it, because I was not ready to be so physically close to him. But I figured it was okay, and kept my gown on. Well, it just got worse each night. By the 4th night he was pissed off that he had "paid to take [me] on this trip and [I] wasn't being accomodating". He got more and more demanding. He flat out told me he "deserved" to have sex with me! He was a real jerk about it! Rather than a really great time, it became a degrading experience for me.  Needless to say, we stopped seeing each other after that. \n\nThat was years ago but I learned a lesson. For me: I would never go on a trip with a man unless we were crazy about each other,already in a commited relationship, and had already made love before that trip. I turned down several trips, but I did not want to be in that position ever again! Yuck!I did not go on a trip with a man again until all of my criteria were met, and what a difference! It was worth the wait.\n\nI commend you for being a virgin. it's a rare thing these days. If you are not ready to lose your virginity, don't!\n\nJust because a man pays for a trip, no woman "owes" a man sex in exchange. I have asked several men (yes, all kinds, including wealthy, well educated, well-mannered upper class men, like the man I had gone on that ill-fated trip with) about this and unfortunately many men seem to think that accepting the invitation of going on a trip is some unspoken code for "there will be vacation sex." They assume "the woman knows [he] wants sex on a trip." So don't go unless you want that too.\n\nYou do what feels right for YOU, not your boyfriend. If he really loves you, he will not pressure you. He will understand. If he doesn't, then break it off. You are special and need to be with someone who truly understands and appreciates you. Good luck!
449564
i would ask him what he really wants because i can already tell your not just in it for the sex. if he doesn't want to be with you i'd stop the sex because your just gonna keep getting more attatched good luck :)
354322
If he ask you again when you move back to where you used to live, just tell him that you are not ready to move the relationship into a sexual one. If he loves you, he will understand
140538
another way for him to express his love is to respect u enough to wait until ur married to have sex.\n\nif he's not willing to wait, then he is only interested in sex and ur better off without him, even if u think u cant survive without him.\n\nu have to ask him is he's willing to wait for u bcos that's the decision u have made. if he;s not willing then u have to move on. there;s no other way around it.\n\ndont get forced into anything u dont want. dont sleep with him just to keep him, bcos if sex is all he wanted he will leave after he gets it.
306430
That's a tough one...\n\nIf he was nice in every other way, and you'd grown to like him, then maybe you could explain to this guy that you are not ready to have sex with him yet, but you still want to go out with him. If he likes you in return he will respect your decision he will keep his hands to himself until such time you feel ready to take your relationship to the next phase.\n\nHowever, if all he's after is sex, then he'll probably try his 'trying to rape you' routine again. In this situation, you should get rid of him. It's not worth giving yourself to a man who doesn't really love you.
370382
If you have to think about it, then you aren't ready. There is no harm in waiting.  If he loves you he will wait and be patient.
471744
You are entitled to withhold sex whenever you want.  I think, however that Love is not demonstrated just in sex.  Does he do other things that make you feel like he loves you, does he care about your well-being?  about your interest? does he treat you with respect and affection?  If he loves you he would not want to hurt you and confuse you.  If it was me, I would stop having sex, and would start simply dating.  I just want to say that you want a guy who is certain that he wants you and wants to work on the entire relationship not just sex.
604650
Love is about respect.  If he truly loves you, regardless his feelings on the matter, he will RESPECT yours!  The truth is, an individual who has the audacity to say "if you don't have sex with me, you don't love me" is suspect; I'd have to say that in saying so, they are showing that, in all likelihood, they don't love you!  Tell him: If YOU LOVED ME, you would respect my desire to wait until marriage-and if you don't have that level of respect for me, WE DON'T BELONG TOGETHER!.
87498
It sounds like he's just really afraid of getting hurt.  I wouldn't say your relationship is only sex though, you've had some great deep coversations and have been friends for a long time.  I definately think there is the potential for a good relationship here.  The only thing is, he needs to be on board.  Don't try to force a relationship if he's not ready.  Talk to him about it, and try to gain his trust.  Sometimes when someone has closed themselves off for that long, they have a hard time opening up again.
482405
Many of your words are in short hand,and i don't really get it.Anyway be very stern if you're not ready.Tell him you need to think bout it.
11434
I think that if you have to ask, then no, it wasn't a good idea.  I'm glad that he asked, and I'm glad that you consented.  I'm also glad that you regret it.\nWhat's done is done.  More than likely you will continue the activity, but I want you to consider something....\nJust because the deed is done, doesn't mean you have to keep doing it.  If you really regret it, and feel that you truly were not ready yet, there is absolutely no shame in declining to engage further.  If you feel it appropriate, get together w/ your bf & tell him, "Look, it was really great, but now i regret it, and I just don't think I was ready.  So I'd really like to wait...before I do it again."\nAny good guy will respect that.  If the dude has a fit, drop him.  It's a good test of character.\nAs for you, you can run that game all you want, but I'm willing to bet you'll still be weak enough to give in if the situation comes about  ;-)  Just a fact of life, babe.\nSOooo... yes, it's too late to go back; no, it's not too late to wait; and yes, if you choose to wait, you should avoid situations where you can get caught up in the lust.\nDon't worry.  It happens to the best of us  :-)
653505
It is not cruel as long as you are keeping everything on the table.  If you are not ready then you shouldn't do anything until you are ready.  But if you are teasing him and letting him think that something is going to happen despite what you are saying, then that is not so nice.  Since you are not ready for more, if I were in his shoes, I would want to know up front how far we are going to go then I can respect the boundaries and decide if I want that.  As a side note - I am a little old fashioned and believe that it is best to wait until marriage for sex but I know that position is very outdated for the vast majority of people.
309441
It sounds like a tough situation.  If I were you I'd keep trying.  Just be prepared if he gives you an answer you don't want.  Have you given any thought to what you will do if he says he isn't into you like that?
260
You are being used for booty and will never be anything more to him. I wish it didn't sound so harsh, but that's your truth. Either enjoy your "benefits" or move on. You may tell him you love him, but I bet your intuition has already told you the response to that and that is why you are scared. Actually I belive you should tell him, get it off your chest....and still move on.
557639
He's gay.  Just kidding.  Does he know that you want to?  Maybe he is scared because he isn't sure if thats what you want and he doesn't want to lose you.  You should ask him WHY don't we have sex.  Start the conversation, you never know what you'll find out until you try.  Good luck.
207114
My first impression is yes. However, it is not cool to jump to conclusions. You might want to confront him about it and ask him why he limits his times with you. During the talk you could tell him that you expect more. Tell him what you expect and if he is not willing to meet your expectation you might want to consider moving on. You deserve someone who cares about you for who you are and not for the good time you can show them. There is so much more to you than sex, and if a guy can't see that and acknowledge it, later for him.