I have been with my boyfriend for a few years now.  He has been talking about staying in the Navy for longer than the six years that he will be in for.  I really love him and want to be with him but he keeps talking about staying in the Navy for longer and Im not sure if I can emotionally do it anymore! Also I have never lived more than fourty miles from my family and it's either leave my family and go to one state or stay here and not be with the one Im going to some day marry..!  Help!
124164
This is hard, and it amounts to what do you really want to do.  There are many benefits to marrying in the military.  However it is going to be a reality that you will have to move away from your family.  Listen to what your heart tells you.
485595
Long distance relationships are hard to maintain. I don't think there is a specific length of time you should wait because I don't believe you should wait at all. It sounds like you need to just live your life and not count on this fellow being "the one." Like my Ma used to say-"there are a lot of fish in the sea". If it is meant to work out things will progress but why not get to know someone who lives close. There is a lot to say for building a relationship based on spending time together doing things not just talking or e-mailing each other. LOL
453650
How long is he going to be stationed there?\nCan you go with him? It is in the States afterall.\nThis happens to alot of married Military.\nsome stay home because they don't want to move and they know that their spouse will be back in a year. but if it is for a longer period of time and you own a home you could rent it out and then rent a place where he is.\nIs moving out of the Question?\n\nGood Luck to you, i hope your dilemma gets resolved.
608111
It is diificult to be with someone in the military (but worth the effort).  If you can't be around all of your friends because you have given your word, I would make friends that you can be around.  Isolating yourself won't help you get through him being gone so seek friends that will respect your relationship and not put you in a position where you break your word.  If making friends isn't an option then try to find a hobby or project that will occupy your time until he returns or you depart.  Good luck.
111942
Why can't you put your dreams on hold, no one says you have to stay in the navy forever, you can always get a skill you can use in the civilian world.  My cousin was in the air force for 12 years and is now working for the air force as a civilian, he makes better money, and is not obligated to go to war.  My husband was also in the Marine Corp for 4 years, and the National Guard for 3 years, and now is self-employed.  There are always options.  My husband put a lot of his dreams on hold to provide for his family, and he has never resented it.  Even if you wait to get out in 20 years, you will be about 40 years old, which still isn't too late to start a new life if you want to in fulfilling your dreams.  Ultimately the decision is yours, you have to decide if you really love her enough to work a little harder to make yours, and her life work together.
347598
Well honey,\nNothing good comes easy. However, nothing feels better than support from home, meaning pictures, writing, care packages, and emails (as a former soldier myself) I know how despairing it can be for the both of you to be displaced (as my ex and I were both in the military together and I would have to go different places for long periods of time). If you really love him remain loyal to him and enjoy loving him from a distance as I know it makes the heart grow fonder and men really appreciate that because it sort of solidifies your commitment to them. On the other hand though I would suggest that you work on your financial well being, your spiritual, and even the physical, pick up a hobby and enjoy your girl friends. Good luck! Don't allow yourself to become and remain depressed (I know it's comforting and a coping mechanism however, it can become a downward spiral and that's not healthy either)
653944
As a marine wife and someone who has been affiliated with the military all her life (Navy brat and former Navy sailor), you have to be outgoing and opinionated!  You can't have him telling you what you think and how to do things.  Not only is that chauvinistic but what happens when he's on a 14 month deployment and  you haven't talked to him in a week, if you don't have opinions on how to take care of your family or home, you're screwed.  You also need to be outgoing to make friends.  Marines are gone alot and we need a support system for those times.  If he's looking for some weak-willed yes-girl, then forget him.
191015
I spent 4 years, 8 months, and 27 days in the USN. It was the best and worst time of my life. Getting out was harder than staying in cause I had to start all over in a world I knew nothing about. I lost 5 family members while I was away in the Navy.When I got out,  I took a big pay cut, ended up filing bankruptcy, but now 8 years later, I am making good money, mainly because of the education I got in the Navy. You can't get an education like that in college. Consider the military a great place to start. You can make it in the "real world." Staying in the military may isolate you from all the changes in the world, like it did me. The longer you stay in, the harder it  may be for you to adjust when you leave. Especially if you have a wife, and/or kids, you should get out. You served your time. Greater love has no man than he lay down <a portion of> his life for his <country>
516641
Your post does not discuss why you want to marry your "collegue" or how you feel about him.  Without knowing if this is what you truly want all I can say is follow your heart which means if you love him and want to marry him and it will not cause you to lose your family then marry him but if you are marrying your "collegue" because you observed a "quite good" nature then you should wait and listen to those you trust which sounds as if it may be your family.
650091
I am in your shoes as i type, I am married to a island man, and it was love at first sight, but I will be honest with you, you are going to miss your family like hell! I have no family where I am residing now, but once love is in the air that's all the matters.  I am very family orientated myself, my husband is not!  If you can get him to move where you are at good for you, but if not you just have to follow your heart like i did! Take care! IF YOU WANT TO TALK YOU CAN EMAIL ME SPORTINTAHOE07@YAHOO.COM
536587
He will regret that for the rest of his life. If you really love him marry him and support his mission. Look at all the benefits you get and think positive. Why do  you want him to get out? Does he have a career lined up is he a college graduate? \nGetting out that way is not the answer. You want him to do that for you? What are you willing to sacrifice for him? Comon Think Straight!
378359
Well first of all I would almost bet that you will get some smart comment from someone cause of the fact that you met online, but I can relate to you in that way.  I met my current boyfriend online as well.  I live in NY for the time being because of acting and he's from MN, where I'm originally from.  We have made it a point to see each other as often as possible to make sure that we don't grow apart.  We talk on the phone quite a bit and everytime I feel like I might question the whole relationship, hearing him at the end of the day lets me know that it will all work out.  I think that it is definitely possible to make a long distance relationship work as long as you both want it, because when one person isn't fully in it then that's when things seem to go wrong.  I'll be back in MN soon and I'll still be about 4 hrs away from him but that's a lot close than 23-24 hrs.  I can handle that short distance and so can he. I know if you both want it and are really in love then it will work out how it is suppose to.
615319
As we all know when you marry someone in the military it is going to take ALOT of work (if you look at the HIGH divorce rate). You have to be willing to go through the changes together, no marriage is perfect. Just as much as he does things the "urk" you, you're doing the same thing as well (example-not talking to him when yall having problems, or not turning to him for solutions to save yall marriage). Just because your marriage is missing somethings shouldn't give u a reason to leave. If that was the case then you would have NEVER married him so there is something about him that's making you stay. the both of you have to be willing to save the marriage because one person cant do it alone. YES things can get better. When you're in a marriage there is NO such things as WASTING each other time....But I will say this MAYBE marriage is NOT for EVERYONE....so if this doesn't work out maybe is you not him.......I'm just being real!
150509
tell them how you feel, but find out if the feeling is mutual??!!  Long-distance relationships are hard to hold onto and keep alive.  if ya ll two are really serious about one another than find away to be with one another. I hope everything works out for the best for you.   good luck
452879
Hi, I'm an Air Force wife.  So far I have been very lucky not to have my husband overseas at all.  The longest he was ever away from me is 6 months.  Now most of the time it is just for a couple of weeks at a time.  Stay strong and I'm sure you can get through it, I'm sure he is worth it.  At least that is how I feel about my husband.
664344
OK, if you were "in love" with this guy there would be no question here but since you are asking than obviously you are not "in love" with him. If you are "in love" you would wait a hundred years for him, marriage is just a piece of paper, your souls would already be joined by your love for each other. He didn't take anything from you, you gave it to him. If you wanted to you could wait for him military wives and husbands have been doing it for centuries, centuries and all of a sudden women think that because their man is away they have a right to abandon all his hopes, dreams, that his feeling and emotions mean nothing. If you don't stand by him yes his deployment will change him because he will think of you as nothing more than a whore who used him and abandoned him. You can do this and if you loved him you would but to me it seems like you just wanted a wedding and a trophy husband rather than this man.\n\nSort out your feelings..\n\nTell him to request leave to get married and they usually give it. It may not be your dream wedding but tell him that at least the US Military will look after you during his deployment as well as in the case of his death. Most military life insurance policies are at least 250,000. His income in general goes up if he marries. It's in his and your best interest to marry... on paper at least.
304534
U will never know if something will truly last. U want to marry a person because u want to spend the rest of ur life with them. if er'1 went in2 marriage knowin they would get divorced i don't think they would even bother marrying that person. I think it takes a lot to make a marriage work and u have to work hard, and even tho over the years we all will change, u and ur partner have to change as a couple and realize that u are different and always keep in mind why u fell in love wit that person. Above all else, trust, honesty, and communication are the big key. If u can keep all that throughout the whole relationship er'thing will be fine. \nNext month is my 1st wedding anniversary wit my husband. He has been in Iraq since Sept 05. And i love him more everyday even tho we're apart. A lot of couples in the military end up getting divorced after being away from each other 4 a year. but we've communicated wit each other about er'thing we're both going thru. And we trust each other and love each other above all else. I think that u have to have faith in urself and ur partner 2 have a long lasting loving marriage!