I say finding out is. If u over heard it u can confront it or may be it was a misunderstanding.In finding out it hurts because the friend was bad mouthing u to others and that person who was doing the bad mouthing is a backstabbing two face u can't trust
122018
I'd say finding out because you always will have the lingering thought of how much of it was true if it was true at all. If you have overheard it then you know exactly what went on and there is no self torment over it!
423029
I don't think that you were wrong for telling your boyfriend about it.  I know that I wouldn't allow any of my friends to bad mouth my b/f.  I do, however, think that the things that go on in your relationship should stay within your relationship.  If you're having problems with your relationship, talk to the person involved (your b/f) about it.  Keep outsiders on on the outside.  They will only make it worse and make it more than what it truly is.
140817
if you fell uncomfortable..and you cant say that to him..then he isnt being just a friend. You should just not hang out with him anymore. If he is a friend then you should be able to set bounderies and such without hurting his feelings. Even if he isnt meaning it in a certain way..its how its coming across to you..and he needs to know that...either way if you cant be open and honest he isnt a good friend.
125139
well you see i know where your coming from on this one. i went thruogh the same thing. i told my friend and she denied it and she was pissed at me for awhile but then she caught him in the act, and she realized that she should have trusted her friend and now we are cool again.
319572
The only thing it depends on with me is if you are trying to come between me and my family in a harmful way..\n\nOtherwise.. I forgive easily .. unfortunately I am a softy and try to understand where everyone else is in their lives, I give them many more outs than the normal person would.. so if they have even half the friendship as I have with them, they'll find it easy to come and say.. "Ya know what?.. I over-reacted.. sorry.. wanna go get a beer?" and know that even though they were having a bad day.. week life..I wouldn't judge them as harshly as they did me when my feelings were hurt. \n\nAll people have faults.. friends have limits and breaking points, so do you.. if you're feelings were hurt, why were they hurt.. because this person acted so fouly, or did you take it too personal or hold this person in a higher regard than they should have been? \n\nTake the high road.. feels good every time.. even if you almost bite off you tongue sometimes..take the high road.
576694
What you did was the right thing to do, expect the reaction you got from her because that is normal too. Now all you have to do is sit her down and tell her that you need to talk. Tell her that what you said was true, even though she chooses not to believe you, tell her that it hurt you that you were honest with her and she turned against you, that she's letting this guy come between  what you thought was a friendship. Tell her you don't appreciate being bad mouthed by her, (especially if your friends) because she chose not to believe you and that the only person that is missing out is her. She messed a friendship up and has a cheating boyfriend too. She looks like the weak one, because your not the only one that knows, if you saw it it other people have also. And ask her what kind of friend she is. Maybe not the kind you want. After that if your not friends then she's not worthy enough to be in your presence. Find a new friend.
883
me as a people person i would go up to the friends thats being bad and talk to them if you listen and try to hammer in that you are listining people will talk they may have some bad pent up feelings that just came out that way. so talk is all i can say.
24226
your asking him to read your mind , guys are'nt good at that. We think more anaylitcal, 1+1=2 that type of thing.  he did'nt even know he hurt your feelings, if he did find out he hurt your feelings i'm sure he would be very sorry, unless he's a jerk or not your friend. give him the benifit of the doubt
378139
You cant be honest with someone who cant be awake to what her actions have caused!!\n\nAll actions have consequences is one u can say!! She isnt a child, she needs to face up to what she has done.. you sugar coating it wont help hun!!\nA true friend will tell her how it is then be there for her regardless of how things go down!!\nFriends have to beable to be honest!! If she cant handle it then she is a bigger idiot than i first thought!~!\n\nGood luck!
327901
I think you have every reason to be upset with her. Just the fact that she snuck off and went on a date, she knew she would be hurting you, a friend tries to help another friend, keep them from being hurt.. doesnt sound like a friend to me. If she really cared she would have talked to you about it first.
209703
You should forgive your friend...No friendship is worth a guy remember that!  Friends are priceless!  She did make a mistake about talking behind your back but maybe she felt bad in the first place and the reason she was saying something bad about you was to hide her own guiltiness.
514946
I dont think these people are really your friends. If they are talking behind your back find new friends.
374017
I would be offended because I know for a fact that what I said was not true. But even if I was lying, I wouldn't be offended. This girl sounds like bad news and she doesn't deserve a friend like you. Don't waste your time being friends with someone who puts words in your mouth and tries to spoil your reputation. Continue to make new friends who won't talk a lot of mess and will always be there for you and support you. I hope this helps. Good luck.
171533
is there any reason to tell him other than to just get it off of your chest? if there is no way he is ever going to find out about it, then dont tell him. Even if it happened a long time ago, he could still feel betrayed. like i said. he has all the right to be pissed if you told him already. but if you guys are good friends you will be able to forget about it over a couple cases of beer.
467308
she may not feel comfortable telling you, or may feel like you will tell someone else.  She may also feel a little silly discussing it with you because you're younger.  It doesn't mean that she's trying to hide anything, she may just think that her friends can relate better because they're older or have already had situations that you haven't experienced yet.
301462
Well what I would do is first of all, tell my friend the truth.  Tell her that I only said it because I was jealous of the time she was spending with the other person.  If you don't really dislike the other person, go to them personally and apologize and try to make amends.  Let them know you were jealous of the attention they were getting and maybe you guys can work it out.
477353
No, you are not wrong for feeling the way that you do.  You have two options here.....First, you can try to talk to her again and tell her that you would rather her not tell other people things that you have told her, even if they aren't things to be kept confidential. OR you could just not tell her things that you wouldn't want other people to know.  Find yourself a new confidante, someone that you can trust, and share with that person things that you would rather not have everyone else know.