It would really help if i know that there are other guys out there who are struggling like me to stop having this double life. I dont want to accept that i might have to lead this life forever!! I have gay/bi friends who tell me that its useless to try. But I want to keep trying. A support group mite really help. Thanx.
134770
There are a few sites out there (Google ex-gay movement). They claim to work by using faith based "treatments" but most ex-gays go back to homosexuality years after the treatment, so they don't work in most cases. The best thing you should do is learn to accept yourself because this type of change rarely works and many experts of mental health, including the American Psychological Association, believe these treatments are very detrimental to a patients mental health. In other words, if you decide to go through with this, be careful.
492794
My goals are not going to be the same as any other woman. Why are you posting this in GLBT, are you talking about gay men, Lesbians, bisexual and transgendered persons? \n\nAs a bisexual woman of 53 my goal in life right now is to complete the remodeling of my home before I go stark raving mad. I have everything else I need, or I've learned to live without it.
23320
Your question is a very difficult question to answer.  By reading your question it says that you went gay/bi because a girl hurt you really bad and you decided to stay away from females for awhile.  I can understand that.  Now you are saying that you do not want to be gay/bi and that you want to have a family and think that a persons sexual prefrence is a way to get into heaven.(If such a place exists).  From the look of your history I see that you must have liked the men because you have had more of them.  The way I see it you have lived the last six years of you live with a pattern: 1,3,1,3,and? I say continue on and adopt.  Don't put your self in turmoil and remeber the end is only the begining.
309291
Find something else to entertain your time and your mind.  Trust me on this one.  You will most likely need to stop hanging out with your current group of friends.  And I know it sounds lame but try to hang around straight people more often.  That's what helped me.  My new found entertainment was photography.  Taking the pictures and  developing the pictures myself.  Takes a long time.  Depending on what your hooked on you may want to hit a meeting or two to help cope with what's happening with you/.  About 2 months after it was worth it because I had a moment of clarity that just hit me and it was almost better than any high I have ever got.
222209
AMEN SISTER!!i felt the same way just give it a break and im tellin you when you do thats when you least expect it.maybe your trying to hard that was my problem, i just didnt want to be alone but sometimes it is worth waiting.it is good that you have noticed some guys will just say what they think you want to hear! the fake ones, and there are lots of them.good luck dont give up!!!
653442
My god,i so know what you are feeling,there is no scientific explanantion for this shit! It almost feels like nothing can help us,but it can,i just know it! I have tried to im you and asked to add you to my messanger list. Please accept! I can tell you what is going on with me and my family,the things i have tried,and what has worked. For all you people thinking we are crazy or this is in our heads,just wait you will see one day,this is real! There is a spiritual battle going on 24/7 between god and satan. They are running out of time and as we go along it does nothing but get stronger and stronger! This type of issue is one of those stuck in the closet deals,kinda like bisexuals and such back in the sixties. No one wants to beleive its happening,but its real and it waits for us to get weak so it may take over!!! Both God and Satan are gathering up warriors for the final battle,everyone ask yourselves,"What side will you be on?" when the shit goes down! Dont think you will be excluded! This war is written in the book,the holy bible,revelations. I personally think a movie should be made about this subjest to bring it out of the closet! Anyways,my contacts are available,please contact me,we can work together and beat this thing once and for all!!!
641669
It's a feeling, not something you find out.  Being bi is not a bad thing.  You haven't given up on guys.  I've always had a firm belief that your sexual feelings is your business .  No one else needs to know. \nLet's just say when you know what you want, then tell them.  This could just be a phase you're going through.  You'll also know the best time to tell them.\n\nGood luck
142616
to be honest, you can fight, but who will that be helping? Something like that is a very deep and strong thing to fight. I had that fight myself. If you are bisexual, then fighting isn't always the best answer. Sometimes talking with yourself or others who understand what you are dealing with will help you to understand it for yourself. Bisexuality among men is not always seen as a good thing but imagine if you will, that you were able to fight these urges off for a while, you get married, have a family and then one day you start thinking about men again and this time the curiosity about it all is alot stronger. thoughts and curiousity get stronger over time if they are not explored or confronted. My thing is that you should take your time and find out who you are and what you want. Not what you feel others want for you. if you are destined to have a wife and kids, then it will happen. there are women who can accept dating bi-sexual men. so just think about the situatinon. fighting isn't always the best answer. just learn who you are and what you want and go from there.
286257
I totally agree with this. Before coming out I was going through all kinds of mental and emotional angst that was eating me alive.  I put on all kinds of weight and thought about almost nothing else.  It was totally crazy.  I kept going over all the different possible scenarios, all of them bad, never a good one, and it was just, well, in the end it was all just hot air.  When i came out to my friends they all knew.  When I came out to my family they didn't really care.  When I started bringing my boyfriend home everyone thought he was great.  It was a lot easier in the end to be out than it was to be closeted.  By a lot.
673617
That sounds like a problem with the other people, not you or your friend. \n\nI'm sure he isn't the only gay guy there. Perhaps the only one brave enough to come out, knowing that uninformed people will look at him weird. Share his bravery; be yourself, hang out with who you want. If people want to hold that against you, that should teach you something valuable about those people. And the next time someone else wants to be themself and come out, or be friends with your friend because he's a good guy, they'll be that much more likely to do it.
319374
wow...I'm in the EXACT same position. I could've asked this question because I'm going through the same thing. I've been absolutely infatuated with this guy and don't know what I will do once he leaves. It's so difficult but the best way to get through it is to find another guy. It sounds much easier than it really is because no one compares to "him."
645907
Well, I think  God can guide you on your way to become "straight" but, if that is the way you feel and you think that nothing in the world can change your mind then you've got to come out of the closet. Hope I helped.
476932
I never really "came out" to anyone.  Only my husband and a few select people know.  I don't want to hide who I am, but at the same time, I have a career and a family, and I don't want to ruin any of that.  Being bi sexual isn't something that employers look for on a resume.  *lol*  As for your situation, I don't know what to tell you.  Except, be honest with your mom.  Tell her your thoughts and feelings, and maybe she can give you a few pointers.  As far as your friends go, this is a time when you will discover who your true friends are, because they will be the ones to stick by you in this difficult time in your life.  I really hope that things get better for you.  Good luck and God bless!
326065
I agree! If your friends are making fun of you then they aren't true friends! I have had sexual identity issues myself in the past. It took me years to become comfortable with the fact that I like women as well as men and also become open about it. I try to surround myself with positive influences; people who will love me for me. People who will accept and support me no matter what! If they don't like my lifestyle they can f*** off. Why would I want to put myself in a situation that is harmful to my emotional health? Neither should you! Talk to your friends and tell them how their words make you feel! If they still make fun of you then you should find new friends ASAP. Try going to your local university and see if they have any trans-sexual support groups. Also try searching on-line for websites that support alternative lifestyles. I know what it's like and I know how important it is to surround yourself with good friends! You might also want to becareful who you choose to come out to. I don't necessarily blast out to the world about my sexual identity (although i just did ;=) ) but if I think someone is going to become my friend they should also know the truth. \n\nYou might want to try these sites to start:\n\nhttp://thelovelinks.com/8_Alternative_dating_sites.shtml\n\nhttp://www.mygaypartner.com/\n\nhttp://groups.yahoo.com/group/tgusarights/
440397
you are coming from a bad place right now....I suggest you sit back, get rid of the negative energy you have filled your life with and .... clean up your head. You are blaming all women for one woman's actions...not very fair. You are bitter towards all women because of some past experiences with a few women...perhaps it is what you are doing that gets you what you get. My advice to you would be to STOP making bad choices in women and use some sense, start picking women that are compatable with your life and your head. Stop picking women based solely on what they look like, and start picking women who are kind, nice, ...and yes, these qualities do come in the same package as looks. I cannot imagine your finding any kind of happiness acting as "trade" to gay men.....it may get you off, but where does that lead to anything that is lasting as far as happiness goes? Trust me, all those women you are trying to punish will not give a rat's butt about what you are doing...you hurt no one but yourself when you seal yourself off as you are suggesting. AND, you will not be doing any gay guy a favor either. Your life is your own, your mistakes are your own...stop blaming all women for your mistakes and that is the first road back to sanity. Good luck
485663
My only recommendation would be to not give up! I know that thats easy for me to say but you HAVE to keep trying. You KNOW your body better than anyone else, so your obligation now, is to find SOMEONE to believe you and to find the cause of your pain. There IS help out there, and there IS a believer. ITs just going to take time. Hopefully you have patience for this. Its not going to be easy.
657288
You are still exactly who you were.  You were bi before and they didn't know it, and now they do.  Nothing about you changed.  I would let them go and focus on people who will love and support you for who you are, and appreciate your value as a human being on this planet.