After a few months long fight and mental anguish..I was told I was an embarassment,lazy ect.. Now things are on the mend.but i do NOT feel comfortable with him. How do i get that back? i feel like i am always on guard
129516
Bless your heart. It will take time after going through verbal abuse. Words hurt deeper than any slap, and the pain lasts far longer. Please seek marriage counselling.
213914
no, cute gal you are not crazy it is HUMAN NATURE, matters of the heart!!!\n\nI am so happy you acted responsible with this situation it could of costed you time and emotional scars and we all know that is very hard to clear up or face yourself when you are emotionally a reck. \n\nbut what you have did is very important to all mankind you listen and stayed true to yourself, you know what you want and this tells me  you are on the path to getting it!!! \n\nnever accept less, you deserve the world you have to know and acknowledge that first, then others will give to you!!!\nthey can't handle you in any way unless you allow it.\n\nyou will get over this person and be on to the next. \nstay in control!!!
6450
Hun, I'm so sorry. I think you have to let go. I know you don't want to hear this. But he has to make his own mistakes. Stay strong......keep your dignity. If he comes back.....you will feel that you did the right thing and he will need to prove himself again. Just be strong and don't stop being you.
555508
The problem probably is that your not being direct enough.  You say your doing everything but you haven't done what needs to be done if you want to be with him.  You need to actually talk to him and tell him that it is him you miss and that you want to be a part of his life.  Right now he probably feels like you ended things and that he isn't willing to risk getting dumped again without being sure that this is what you want and that your willing to actually be with him through the bad times and not end things so easily.
154192
I'm sorry you are living in such fear, but you are letting him continue to harm you by living in that fear. He does not deserve to haunt you, instead he should have been punished. You did the right thing by telling and you should be proud of yourself for not being silent.\nPlease go your parents or another trusted adult and let them know how you feel. You need to go thru counseling and a support group to help you and how your feeling. \n\nI wish you the best of luck!
182694
The only reason he would show up where he knows you're gonna be and then ignore you is to play with your head. I say you are better off with out him and stay strong. I know it hurts now, but it will get better. Remember, if he hurt you and made you cry on purpose then he isn't the one worth your tears. Find a new hobby like a self defense class or maybe take up karate. Something that you can excel at and feel better about yourself. Something that will make you strong in body and in spirit. Go out with friends or better yet, have a sleep over. You're never too old for a good pillow fight. I have been where you are. You will get past him, I promise.
252269
Been there and done that...not fun!  I feel for you but you have to be strong enough to GET OUT!  I had family and friends to help me out behind his back.  I planned carefully because he was smart and inquisitive, very controlling.  Get mad and smart too!  Figure out his work schedule and get it all done in a short amount of time.  Get a restraining order against him before you go so that you are somewhat protected when you leave.  Go somewhere safe where someone is with you all the time and has speed dial.  Get a plan B so that if this is not an option you have somewhere else to go.  Don't make him mad.  Above all don't let him see you are nervous.  Keep him calm and level headed until you pull it off.  Don't change your routine or compromise yourself.  Be sure to delete all "help" calls off the phone and alert the police of what you are about to do and the day and time.  You can also have the police escort you out once they know the situation if you need to do it that way.  My prayers go out with you!
612652
Thank goodness you only wasted 5 months with this loser. you've found out that you don't want this one so get ready for your destiny. Get fit and healthy, go the gym, get your hair done, spend time with the girls and have a laugh. you are now free to find someone really great and only your ego got a bit bashed. it's ok you'll get over it. he obviously has so why let him have anymore of your headspace? He was seeing others when he was with you most likely. don't go to bed with someone until after 6 months and it won't happen like this again. if they won't wait you don't date!
470170
Sounds like you are having second thoughts about giving him a second chance.  Not only did he break the trust in your relationship, but he did a little shattering of your confidence too.  You can't let anyone shatter your confidence, so if this is torturing you and making you think thoughts that are killing you, then it may be something you need to let go of.  When you forgive someone that means letting go of all the hurt and moving on to the next step and it seems like something that you are not able to do.  If you love him and you think that he is heartily sorry for what he did, then let it go and move on with your relationship.  If not, then you need to let him go and do whatever he has to do and you go do what you have to do.  It sounds like you still think he is misleading the both of you and you can't live like that!  It will kill you!  Make that decision on your own, don't wait for it to backfire.  Usually your first mind is your right mind. You are more important than anything.  I was in a situation like that once and it didn't work out for the good, not saying that is the case with your situation, but you should always go with your first mind. I know it will be hard, but it will work out better in the long run.
664897
He sounds immature.  Ask yourself if you  are better off with him or without him.  Sounds to me like without would be the way to go.\n\nI just ended a 7 year relationship - so don't feel alone in this.  I feel sad at times but am getting my life back together without his head games and am feeling at peace\n\nGood luck
148520
Why would he feel insecure about your relationship? That is the question. Perhaps he felt abandoned as a child by one of his parents. He chose you because you fill that void in his life. You don't want to fight and neither does he. Kiss and make up. The words you choose next are very important. I don't think he could be labeled "controlling". Maybe he was concerned that something might have happened to you. If you had a cell phone, maybe you should have talked earlier.
248663
Please listen. He is NOT all you have. He has taken away your self esteem and your willpower so that you think that but it is not true. You have the strength to make a wonderful life for yourself. There is someone out there who will love you and protect you. Get to a shelter immediately. They have counselors who will help you. If you stay in this situation, it will only get worse, much worse. Bless you and get going.
470376
Bummer!  That is a shitty one!  \n\nOK so, it does actually happen.  Kinda like a slip of the tongue.  I did the same thing to my b/f once.  It really was NOT intentional!  Just kinda happened.  It feels terrible to be on the receiving end I know, but as long as you have made your feelings known to him, and he doesn't do it again - no harm, no foul.  However, if he does it again  -  find a new boyfriend because this means he has NOT got over his X, and it was NOT a slip of the tongue.  Give him the benefit of the doubt THIS time!\n\nMaybe you should also think about mentioning to your b/f that you are uncomfortable with the fact that he still sees his X (if he does) and that this is the reason you may have over-reacted (I am not saying you did - it's just a bit of reverse psychology that will make him feel better about himself)  to his blunder.  As long as you are open and honest about how you feel, he can't turn around at a later date and say he wasn't aware of your feelings.
450503
I feel for you, you must be broken at the moment, but sadly I think he has made the decision not to be with at the moment for himself and wants to pull himself together on his own. I would ask him once if there's anything you can do to help, if so than he needs you as a support, if not, back off but ask after him to show you care until he's ready to share his life again, good luck.
654343
He has absued you mentally, reduced your self esteem, made you believe that you love him so much that you  have to hurt yourself physically for him to believe that he has succeeded. My opnion is that you are too good for him because you are still hanging on. If you try hard enough, i believe that slowly you would get over him and recover back to your original self. All I could do is wish you the best of luck.
310416
I wish I had some magic words of wisdom that would give you relief, but unfortunately there are none. I am going through the same thing, but in reverse...I am gone and he is home. We talk on line alot and phone when possible.  Not that I don't cry myself to sleep some nights, but I just have to keep myself together. I know that the reunion will be all the more sweeter for our separation. Just keep the faith and love him, know it won't be forever... Peace.
667321
The truth will set you free. when you finally get in contact with him you make sure you tell him everything, Like how you didnt appreciate when he wasnt callin you and checking on you or nothing. Its alright to hear his side of the story but you give him a piece of your mind, and make him feel shity. you spending your time waiting on him to call, and he out doing other stuff. let'em know girl