As I said my boyfriend is super but he works 3rd shift and lives at home so we don't have much time to spend together but almost every day that he is off we're together, how much time should I give him to move in with me or find a place of his own? We have a wonderful relationship except for the living situation and I hate that he works 3rd shift.
128545
honey, the answers are there if he has older brother still home, they not leaving ,they are comfortable a woman who takes care of them wash,feed them , why would they leave , i know mama boy, they will never be responsible they are being taken care of come and go as they please with no woman nagging them. he has no promising future probably has  no responsibilities as to paying bills, or shopping.he can't help himself and will never help anyone but himself \nit's called selfish his only if that is a luxury car works for himself and no pot of his own to piss in
601330
Serious question here, and lots of things to consider.  Let's see if we can sort through all this.\n\nFirst of all, you say you've been together for seven months.  I wonder how old you and he are.  The red flag that jumped out at me is that you are both still living at home.  These days, I know that can mean anything from 19-29.  But if you don't have a steady job (preferably a career and a vocation), if you don't have your own transportation, and if you don't have financial independence, marrying is not a good idea.  He also needs to have a steady job, a vehicle and financial independence.  \n\nThat you are having second thoughts is a good thing.  He sounds like he still has a ways to grow up if he's still trying to leave home.  You sound like you have a way to go yet toward financial independence if you are living at home too.  When you say that you want to have little flings and talk to other guys, though, this tells me you are not ready for marriage because your heart is not truly in it.  You need to keep dating and work on your education, your job skills and your life management skills.  All these things are coming along, but don't sound quite developed enough yet.\n\nAlso, you should never have to pressure someone to marry.  A marriage proposal should come out of the blue with no pressure at all.  That someone feels the need to pressure someone else says that there is a power struggle going on, and that's a very unhealthy way to start married life.  \n\nThere is such a word as divorce, because there are many, many "starter marriages".  No matter your religion or personal beliefs, 50% of marriages in the United States end in divorce.  And divorce is a hard but positive thing ultimately, because there is no point living miserably.  Divorce is hard to go through, but people survive it, and go on to thrive afterward.  Sometimes, even with the best of intentions, things just don't work out like we plan.  People grow apart, want different things, change and life throws us curveballs to boot.  \n\nEnjoy your single life for a while longer yet.  You may want to keep seeing your boyfriend, or you may want to re-evaluate the relationship and see if you want to stay with him or move on.  Don't be afraid to move on.  Be more afraid of getting into a rut or becoming too fearful that you'll never find someone else.  Nonsense!  With six BILLION people in the world, no worries about finding someone to date and/or marry ultimately.\n\nGood luck with this.  Cheers, K
296903
If he'll be living close by, I'd suggest setting up a time once a week or something for you guys to spend time together, and don't let ANYTHING get in the way of it. Phone calls work too, but nothing beats actual physically being together.
282182
Talk to her about your plans.  Help your sister do a budget and understand how to pay bills.  After that, you are free to move in with your boyfriend.  Don't rush to move in with him, get to know him longer.  If you have been dating for a year or more, try it.  If not, wait!
459314
i think it is great you stay home to help out. plus most people our age and younger don't have that option to live at home! but your boyfriend, i wouldn't worry as long as he makes an effort to move out or puts money away to move out, or shows some sort clue that he doesn't want to live at home forever.
52650
First of all you need to decide how long your going to support him? If he's not trying to better himself and your marriage then it's time to talk. Now days a couple can't make it on one income. I feel if your working he needs to take care of home. When did you become the maid? If he knew ahead of time you where moving he could of prepared better.
608782
I takes some getting use to when schedule changes make your relationship change.  My bf and I use to see each other for a couple of hours a day, everyday.  Now, because of work and his other obligations after work, I'm lucky if I see him during the week.\n\nSpending time apart is just as important as spending time together.  Get a new hobby or spend more time with your friends.  Just because you have a full time job doesn't mean that you can't go out and party with them once on a week night.\n\nBeing apart during the week will make your time together more special.  It just takes time to get use to it.
631764
What? You don't really go for this do you? \nFirst of all you are there to see your boyfriend..not the r.m.\nsecond..you are all three grown people...this is not college.\nand third what the hell does ur man say about this?? \nOk, I say you need to talk to your boyfriend and see how he feels about it. He pays his share of the bills whether you are there or not so if you are buying what you eat his roommate needs to shut up. I don't think you should be told you are responsible for meals and chores if you are a guest. And thats what you are. You are the guest of your boyfriend so as far as I'm concerned the R.M. can go straight to hell. If you want to buy dinner thats your choice so don't let him tell u what u should do. He should be a grown a** man who cooks and cleans his own sh**! You didn't get a boyfriend to become a step parent to a grown man!!
410469
I couldn't work with my fiance. I love him more then life itself but I need time on my own and I get that from my job. Then when I get home I can enjoy being with him. Not to say it won't work for you but personally I think it'a a bad idea. Good luck, hope all turns out well.
92640
Well, sorry to say but I think an option is to let him go. You can do it before the move and say look you've gotta get a job and help out or you need to move. Or, move, get the lease in your name only, and then say, you've got X amount of time to get a job or you need to go. I can't be the one that has to deal with everything all the time for the both of us.
337449
Sweety you're mad because you do not know or understand what is going on with him. It very well may be that he is trying to pack and work at the same time and trust me it is not easy.I did this one day and the next thing I know there was a female officer in my face in the middle of the night because I did not hear anyone knocking at the door. My boyfriend at the time had them kick the door in so that he could see if I was okay. Personally I think it was something else. Plus, I had children to take care of.
380174
Sometimes staying at home gets really boring, and if he is faithful what is the problem?\nHowever i agree that he should spend sometime with you.\nPerhaps the time when this stops is when he has a fulltime job, paying the bills and raising a family.\nJust my advice even though I am only 20.\nAlso find so many girls that do the same thing you described.
356599
Girl, ur not alone on that boat! my man works 20 hours per day. I am serious, no weekends no dinner parties, except when we have to go visit his parents. He works even when he sleeps. He, like been dreaming about some new contracts and a trip to Zurich....one night he said: "please Mr. Gray, you can see our new presentation. It will be send to you frist thing tomorrow morning!" He was writing this thing for weeks......o gosh, I love to have some more time with my man but he works sooo much. You know what is the worst with us. He says he does this for US, so that in a few years I can stay at home taking care of our kids adn having a blue Martini by the pool. Good luck sista, you need to get in a language school, cooking class, yoga and a few more tings to keep yourself occupied. Or if he can afford it just get his visa card and go to shopping!!!!
572602
You both have tough jobs, and I can't see you affording a maid service. I would suggest a 60% for you and 40% for him.\nWhy don't you sit down, and write up a list of all the household chores, that need doing, and see if you can't work out some equitable schedule. \nThere will be some jobs, he doesn't mind doing, and the same for you. Forget about percentages, as long as you both pitch in, then neither of you will feel put upon.
249876
SOUNDS TO ME LIKE HE IS HAVING SECOND THOUGHTS OR FEARS OF SOMETHING. YOU NEED TO BE VERY CLEAR OF WHAT YOU BOTH EXPECT OF EACH OTHER BOTH FINANCIALLY AND RELATIONSHIP WISE BEFORE YOU MOVE IN TOGETHER OR IT COULD GO SOUR VERY VERY FAST TRUST ME I HAVE BEEN THERE AND I SUFFERED BADDEPRESSION FROM IT. I MOVED 275 MILES FROM HOME BOUGHT A HOME W BF AND NOW FEEL TRAPPED IN HELL...SO B CAREFUL VERY CAREFUL FINANCES CAN SCREW UP A RELATIONSHIP FAST AS HELL.. BE VERY VERY CLEAR OF ALL EXPECTATIONS BEFORE BEFORE BEFORE YOU MAKE A MOVE W THIS GUY!!!!
80945
well my girlfriend moved in a few days after she met her guy. they just /knew/.\nnow there will be some 'faults'... days when you're stressed and put the toothpaste where it doesn't belong... as long as you talk it out like adults, it can be worked out.\nI love coming home to someone.\ngood luck to you both
456562
You said you're working on the relationship, but if he isn't, it probably isn't worth while.  If he has been like this forever, and you thought you could change him....yep, think again.   If he is as self centered as it sounds,  you moving out probably just gave him more free time to do what he wants.  Don't kill yourself working it out if he won't give 110% also.  Habits are hard to break, and no one is perfect, but feeling like dirt on the bottom of somebones shoe is not expected.  Your girls should be learning repects from both parents.