I have been involved with a married man for a long time and have grown quite attached to him.  He is quite a bit older than me but is the best lover i have ever had. It's like he can read my  mind.  I know it is wrong but I have had no luck meeting single guys that want a serious committed relationship.  They all seem to want sex only.  Even the one's that say they want a wife.  I would rather see this guy because he fits into my idea of what it sexy in a man. He is successful, attractive, well dressed, intellegent, etc.  I know he is a cheater but he is basically of good character.  He has been married for 30+ years and has a great relationship with his grown children.  His wife just puts more into her career than she does into the bedroom. SHe is a city official of some sort.  I know that one day I will have to break off with him (hopefully when I find my mr. right) but I am so emotionally attached to him that he will always be in my heart. Am I really that bad?
134536
The headline is enough for me. Gurl do u want to have ur eyes scratched out?  U must love living dangerously
164092
Well, I am a 33yo divorced mother of 2 boys.  I DO NOT want a committed relationship.  Maintaining my independence and identity is important to me.  Non-committal sex is the "easiest" way for me.  It really does sound  morally questionable, however, I have needs as well.  \nI met a man shortly after I split from my hubby.   The sex was PHENOMONAL. We were actually a couple for 6 months. This is terrible to say, but the sex is the only reason I stayed with him.  We weren't compatible as a couple. But I thought about the sex all the time. I have NEVER felt a sexual connection with anyone before like this.  After we broke up I proposed this idea to him about FWB.  He was a little surprised.  Maybe felt more USED than anything.  He said OK. We'll see. Haven't had sex  yet since before the break-up.  If a female can prevent from getting emotionally attached, more power to ya. I think it is a great idea.
164169
I hope that you are very careful with what you are doing with this guy.  Remember that you are married and you may lack a certain thing in your marriage which will be better work out with your husband.  I understand that it is kind of nice to have someone interested in your despite you are married but why are you dragging him on?  Will you be happy to divorce your husband because this guy sweet talk to you?  Are you sure that you will have a better future with this man than your current husband.  I suggest that you spend more time with your husband and rediscover him then talking to this guy, unless you have no hope in your marriage!  Good Luck!
96112
Women are drawn to married men , the joke of it is they are drawn to them because they see them as a man who is stable and can make a commitment because he is married. They hope to get him for themselves, yet how committed is he if he is cheating, and if he does end up with the other woman , how long before he is cheating on them.
355174
Here's our story...tell me what you think.\n\nWe originally met in 9th Grade, he was the new boy in school.  We became fast friends and soon became more than that.  We were inseperable, many crazy adventures and all that fun young love stuff.  We broke up just before the school year ended because of our friends...you know the only people you listen to when you are 15 years old.\n\nWe stayed friends over the years, going for coffe every month or so to catch up.  I had the travel bug so after high school I moved around a bit, when I was gone he met someone else and married her.  On one of my stops home I found out he had married this girl (who I knew & knew she was not a good person), I told him my concerns & in my heart I knew that if he said me wanted he back I'd go.  He didn't so I was off on my journeys again.\n\nWell when I was 31 I moved back to my home town.  As luck would have it we met up one night, he was still married to the girl but he had been living in his basement for the last 6 years and had little or nothing to do with his wife.  He was miserable. \n\nWe spent that night catching up, when it was time to go home he grabbed my hand and said he let me go once & he was never going to do that again.  He moved out the next day and we are now married and have a beautiful 3 year old little boy.  \n\nSo no, I don't worry about him leaving me for someone else.  I think it all depends on the situation, and the rest of the story.  People look for love outside of their relationships because there is usually something wrong within their current relationship.  Others are just really shallow and want a "trophy wife"...those relationships never work out.
107808
This guy is full of it.  If he wanted to leave his wife, he would have already done it.  It sounds more like they are in an open relationship and just aren't telling anyone.  Plus why would you want to be with someone who was so needy that they have to find someone before they are willing to leave someone else.  Come on, if a person is that scared to be alone, they have some serious problems that you don't want to have to deal with.
578660
The fact that you have even asked the question tells me that, at least according to your value system, you already believe it is "bad".  Physical attraction is pretty much biochemical and very short-lived, basically not the kind of thing to be making potentially life-altering decisions on!  And, even if this may not be potentially life-altering for YOU, I assure you that, as a married woman, even if her husband never finds out it is a life-altering thing for her because her relationship with her husband will never be the same.  SHE will always know she has cheated on him and it will affect her sense of trust and security in the marriage.  Not only that, if there are kids involved, their lives will be adversely affected, too.  Do you honestly want to be a party to that kind of thing just because you are having a biochemically induced attraction to someone???  Take a cold shower, go hang out with single women somewhere, and ask yourself if you seriously want to be involved with someone who has already demonstrated her inability to be faithful, honest or mature about relationships.
213752
If you get with this guy, I'm afraid he will disappoint you. How can you feel comfortable with someone who obviously has lied to you, do not respect his vows, turning his back on his kids, and deny or acknowledge his children's existence to you? What he is doing to wife, he is going to do to you once he gets bored. People show us who they truly are and sometimes we dismiss it because of the false picture of them or we depend too much for a guy to make us happy instead of making ourselves happy. You need to work on your self esteem if you think this is and will lead to a good relationship. You are worth more than being deceived and second choice.
525625
It sounds to me like the fantasy is much better than the reality is going to be for him.  As an experienced swinger I can tell you that it only works if both members of the couple have an equal say in the matter.\n\nAlso,  straight-up, contrary to popular belief, women usually have more say-so over who you swing with as a couple since men's "strike-zones" are usually a bit wider than women's.  Otherwise it's easier for a man to find a woman he is attracted to than for a woman to find a man she is attracted to.  So he'll be disappointed if he thinks it's any other way.  Also, him choosing the couple doesn't mean the couple will choose you two.  There are four people involved that all have to be attracted to the opposite member and comfortable with them for it to happen.\n\nAlso, although more men than women first suggest swinging, women seem to get the most out of it since it really liberates them sexually and helps them get over allot of the Western society guilt associated with sex and being a sexual person.\n\nThis is a disaster waiting to happen.  If what you say is the case he is not emotionally equipped to handle you having a good time with another man.  Watching you have a great time has to be as exciting to him as him having a great time.  That is how it works.  I'll tell you right out that my wife is my favorite pornstar.  :-)\n\nThe big thing is that experienced couples will pick-up on your situation really quick.  After awhile you get drama-radar and can usually sense when all isn't right with a couple.\n\nWhy would someone want to involve others in their sex life?  For us it was we had a great marriage and great sex already.  We were secure in each other and our relationship.  We also had fantasies that required more than two people to fulfill.  It was evolution of our relationship.  And our relationship is even better now.  Our communication is on a level I never thought possible, and we really know why we are together, and it's not just for sex.  It's because we really love everything else about each other.\n\nIf you both are not on the same page about, then you shouldn't do it.  As a couple, in swinging or not, if something doesn't work for either of you, than it doesn't work for both of you.  If it benefits the individual it also has to benefit the couple.  If you don't want to do it than he should accept that.  That is what being a couple is all about.\n\nIf you want some good, honest, open discussion about swinging from both newbies and veterans alike, check out The Swingers Board (link below).  You'll find lots of good information about everything you mentioned in your question.
638387
I would just forget about it, yes you should stay away from married guys but if nothing happened than you really didn't do anything wrong. You were just being a sweet girl, its his responsibility to take control of the situation and be honest with you from the beginning. I don't think you ruined his life, if he is a real man than he will realize that his wife should be the most important person in his life. If you are hurt I'm sorry for that but there are plenty of cute single guys in Atlanta, maybe you should focus more on them ;).
564749
there are many motives behind an affair,the old line it just happened is a crock of bull,it is given much thought and for men i think it's a challenge for women it is a emotional thing the sense of being needed, attractive to another man.men also need to see if they still have it some do, some don't,  some never did,regardless of the reason it is wrong.if your sex life stinks make it better try different things,being a women i can't completly answer why guys cheat but i feel it's an ego thing or maybe their spouse is truely a louse in which case she has no reason to complain we women know men like / need  sex and if we are completly against making love then let him go no man or women should be forced to live without it unless it is for a medical reason,in that case then you should find other ways to satisfy each other.
182632
Are you really in LOVE with HIM?  Or is it the idea of new love and that feeling of new love, that you're in love with?  Especially being a married woman, after a little bit of time you lose that new love/lust euphoria.  Perhaps there are some things that you are missing in your marriage that you are looking for in this new guy.  I know it doesn't answer your question, but perhaps you should work on the marriage that you're already in and see if you can improve it, because you must have LOVED your husband at one time
287895
You really have to follow your heart on that one, my friend!  Before I met my husband, I opted to stay single for MANY years, because I just couldn't be bothered with the bs of the dating ritual and all the games that go along with that ride!!  Usually when you are not looking to fall in love is when it hits ya right between the eyes!!  Don't worry about what is right or wrong (or "normal"-whatever the heck THAT is!!) in the eyes of others...as long as YOU are comfortable with your choices, then right on!  As for choosing not to have children....I believe that it takes a more thoughtful person to decide that they do not want to raise children!  Soo many people have children for all the wrong reasons and raising a child is NOT to be taken lightly..it is a lifetime commitment full of many ups and downs.  That is a personal and very private decision that a person makes. I have alot of respect for those who know what they want (and not what they think others want for them)! Good Luck!!
125110
Dating people isn't the problem.  Sex with them is.  I was 34 and married twice when I looked up one day, saw a man I had never met across a parking lot and knew in that instance that God was real and I was in big trouble.  So, my answer is yes.  There is one perfect person for you.  Hopefully he hasn't robbed a bank or anything, because you might not find him if he's sitting in prison and you might not want him if you do find him.  But if you find him and your are with the wrong person, life gets really difficult.
113262
Sure...you see an attractive person of the opposite sex and maybe think about it, but as long as you don't follow through or make any attempt to actually do anything I think it's natural.  As a girl, I personally think guys are much more vulnerable to this type of thinking (maybe vulnerable isn't the best word, but you know what I mean).  Yes, it would be devasting to your wife/gf if she found you having an affair.  But just looking at an attractive person isn't bad.  But don't go off flirting with them or anything like that.  Use that energy on your wife/gf!
329116
Wow, talk about mixed emotions. It sounds like this man doesn't know whether he's coming or going. He wants you and then he doesn't. He's just all over the place with his feelings. You see, a lot of men and women carry over issues from past relationships. If he has children I assume he's been married before. What do you know about his last relationship? Has he been single for long? I notice you say you became seperated just last July. Are you looking to become serious with this new guy? You have to ask yourself what it is you want out of this relationship and then determine whether you two are on the same page. A word of advice though, don't push him into something he's not ready for. It will backfire and send him running the other direction. Also, give yourself some time to be single for a while and don't rule out dating others either. Maintain your independence. It's very attractive to men. A man wants a women who is independent and who doesn't define herself through him. Don't make it too easy  for him to see you at the drop of a hat every time he wants to. However, always treat him with respect and honor and praise him when he's nice. I wish you luck!
41241
I think men cheat because they need to know that they are still desired. \n\nI feel they reach a point in their marriage where they know in their heart that they are loved by their wife....but they start to question whether they have been all they need to be. Perhaps his wife doesn't tell him how "necessary" he is anymore. Perhaps his wife doesn't seduce him the way she used to. Perhaps she doesn't brag about him to her friends the way she used to. He needs to know he is still worthy. \n\nSo one day.....someone notices him.......and man...it just feels so good to be noticed again! And then maybe he sees her again the next day......and the next day. And her smile starts to become addictive. He becomes intrigued about who she is......and why she has noticed him. It might start out as a smile.......but it will become a kind comment.....and then a need on her part to 'run into him' just as he has found it necessary to run into her. \n\nMany times the affair is not intended. But all of a sudden it starts to fill a hole and fulfill a need that he realizes needs to be filled. She tells him how necessary he is........she craves the intimacy.......she tells him what a wonderful person he is. All the things that were lacking in his marriage. His needs are being fulfilled.........just not by his wife.