we have just found out his girlfriend is having a baby, and her family is forcing her back to Canada, without allowing my son to have any say so in this. I feel if he could get out of the Army, she would have someone else to lean on.  They did not like my son at all.  But she did!  enuf to have sex and conceive a child on purpose. \nWe have a family business, so the the dishonorable discharge won't make a huge inpact on his working career, or financial welbeing.
124016
If he desires to leave, despite the fact that he is needed and many other soldiers have many other problems a lot worse than this and chose to stay in, he can try for a "hardship discharge". That's basically saying that continuing his enlistment would cause an undo hardship. That would avoid a dishonorable discharge, which for the record, if he were to get one, there are a lot more things he would have to be concerned about than financial security.He would be a felon. he could not vote. He could not own a firearm. his credit would be shot, for life. And anyone who ever does a background check on him would know. Also, it's pretty much impossible to get a dishonorable discharge today without having committed some crime that would earn time in military prison.
324943
Possibly .. I mean, here we have a solider who is going into a battle front and he may/may not be wounded, shot down, captured, all of the above, I personally want to thank him for defending our freedom's but as you can see this might have a "unfortunate" outcome. It is nice that you found someone that admires you and you him, just keep in mind of the possibilities that await you and all of the other families that have loved ones in Iraq right now. I don't want to tell you this is wrong or try to "throw salt" on the game in any way. BY ALL MEANS keep in touch with him he will need the correspondence, and if you "solider boy" make it back home, take some time to thank him properly.
489694
if i remember correctly after reading this and all of the answers \nthis young gentleman was asking the following...\n"I'm a soon-to-be father"\n"Our cultural diferences have forced us to split up"\n"i was exploring options including abortion" Its not a crime to talk about abortion.... comon people\n"i attempted to gain a foothold in my child's life"\n"my baby's mother disagreed"\n"she doesent want me to have anything to do with the child"\n"she also stated that she doesent plan to seek child support from me"\n\n\nSounds to me like the mother has made it pretty obvious that things are OVER, while that situation might change... it was the mother that had told the willingly supportive father that she doesent want him to have anything to do with the child, nor does she want his money.\nIt sickens me to hear all of the responses of "GROW UP" and "Act your age" etc, its pretty clear to me that he was acting his age and was attempting to be a good father but unforseeable circumstances prevented it.\n\nNow your looking for a document that legaly binds your agreement? \ncontact the Human Services Department in your area and ask them about this same question and let them know your situation. \ni dont have an answer for you and i appoligize, i just saw all the negative responses to a legitimate question.\n\nI personaly do not condone in any way a negligent parent or one skimping on their duties, but from the sounds of things the other half made it quite clear that she doesent wish for you to be a father, even after you had tried.\n\ntoo sum it all up your just looking for a document that you both can sign that makes sure she wont turn around after saying she doesent want anything, and demand support?
153747
I am in IRAQ as i write this.I have seen my family and girlfriend 10 days since january 22 2005.I had the option of taking leave while being here but chose not to for the fact i didn't want to go through the goodbyes again.My girlfriend hates me being here but fully supports me by being there for me.I talk to her weekly on the phone and chat just about everyday on the computer.She has sent me numerous packages with "stuff" i cannot buy here.The problem i have with her is she refuses to go out at all during my absence. I told her this is not good and it only makes the waiting worse.There is nothing wrong with going out with her friends and family(she does go to her childrens house).Of course she does worry and tells me she sometimes cries herself to sleep.\n I believe the worst thing a wife or significant other can do is burden her man with menial or trivial problems that can be solved with a little time and thought.I assure you if the man had the choice he would rather be home watching his family and dealing with day to day issues.\n I have seen grown men "freak out" because of the minor problems being repeated to them from thier wives or girlfriend.During times like these maturing comes fast and hard for both people.The ones left home alone to do EVERYTHING around the house has to make all the decisions and then get used to the man coming home and trying to readjust to helping out again. The readjusting is the hardest part of coming home.now once again you must learn to accept that things will not always be done the way you have become acustomed.Just because your man is not away anymore doesn`t mean things get easier.Supporting him and he supporting you once back in the states is vital to every relationship.
466719
I'm sorry, but he's not.  My hubby is on cycle break, thank goodness.  However, I'm checking on this for you as we speak and I'll do an edit when I have your answer.\n\nEDIT:  I'm so happy to help in any way that I can.  Military life comes full circle for many of us.  We were the "young'uns", now, we're the "old folks".  Never be afraid to ask questions.  Military life is a life like none other and we ALL need support.\n\nI really am glad you asked a question and specifically pointed me out.  However, my info is pretty limited as of right now.  Ft. Sill is closed due to our weather conditions.  Hubby won't be able to check much until he goes back in.  Anyways, this is what we have:  19 January should stand as graduation date.  That would be 9 weeks BCT and 2 weeks exodus.  We do fill up fast here and I'm glad you worked it all out ahead of time.  Hubby is going to try to check on exact dates of exodus.  Is your son coming home??  What a great present I'm sure that would be for you.  I'm glad his letters are upbeat.  That's a good sign.  Most of the Drill's here are cool.  We love all of them in our unit.  They really want these guys to succeed.  The phone number to the unit I think your son is in is (580) 442-1304.  I'm sure you already have his number, but this is what I deducted from the info you've given.  Your best bet is to call them....they do need to answer your questions.  I know they don't like to be bothered by family members, but you have a lagit question and they can answer it.  Since hubby is in a different unit, it's hard to get exact info other than knowing everything is on schedule for what's posted and that's the same he has.\n\nGood luck and I'm sorry I couldn't be more helpful.  If I do find anything else out, I'll be sure to post it on here.  Be sure to yell "HI" to me while you're in town!!  I can't even begin to tell you what an awesome experience graduation will be.  Enjoy!!\n\nEDIT2:  I wrote your e-mail addy down.  How did you find me??  I haven't answered any other questions of yours and you seem to know me so well.  Anyways, glad I can help and if I find anything else, you'll know about it.
209873
I am currently a military spouse and if I could do it all over again I would have told my husband to just get a job in his major and not the Army.  The Army takes care of us, they have some great benefits probably the best in the world.  But none of that is worth risking your life for.  I'm not anti-Army, I'm just living the life supporting my husband.  We have a 3 year old, and he just came back from a deployment in Dec and possibly will be leaving again within a month.  Imagine a 3-year old asking for his daddy everyday while he is fighting in a senseless "war".  If you can't, it's pure hell.  I don't recommend military life to anyone unless you are single and times are REALLY hard for you financially.  There are alot of sacrifices you have to make in a military environment.  I have some research for you, go and find out the divorce rate for military servicemen, its beyond the means of high.  I think I just told you the reason why!!
615837
I think that it is disgraceful, especially since there are a lot of good Marines that want to be with their sick/dying family and they cannot because they have Commands that say they are too valuable to spare, or they know it is their duty to be there for their brothers and sisters (fellow Marines) in this time of war.  It would be one thing if he was actually taking care of business and being there for his father, but he isn't.  If he isn't man enough to represent the Corps the way it should be then he needs to have his ass kicked by someone (figuratively or literally), I am sure his father isn't proud of the fact that his son is a dirtbag (unless his is one too, but I am going on the assumption he is not).  In my opinion, the military can do without people like him.
518707
No.  He has no rights here in the U.S. either...Of course, if she is pregnant, the sensible thing for her to do would be discuss it with him and let him at least air his views on the whole abortion issue.  \n\nIt sounds like she isn't being entirely truthful about the whole thing though..and the question really should be..is she pregnant at all?  Sometimes women make up stuff like that for attention...it might be because it isn't his..and another reason could be that she plain doesn't want to bear a child right now..and that is her legal right.  If she was having an abortion, and it was his, she probably would have asked him to share the cost..abortions are expensive and are not generally covered by medical insurance.\n\nI would venture a guess that she isn't even pregnant...
278227
Doesn't Immigration ALWAYS consider individual circumstances before deportation?  In this case it sounds like he had the right to be here and just didn't file an extension which would have been automatic.  In that case and because he was in the military, absolutely I would personally not want him deported.\n\nI note that he stayed in Germany to take advantage of their free health care for his son with a heart condition, and as soon as he got back to North America he ran up to Canada to make sure his kids' paperwork was in place, but didn't take care of his own paperwork.  I totally understand that for the health care of his child he would want to exercise the kids' rights to Canadian citizenship and health care.  However, I wonder if there was some 'taking advantage of Canadian citizenship rights' that was somehow antagonistic to being a permanent resident here.  I don't see it in the article, though, so I hope he is not deported.\n\nI frankly think that so long as an alien is not 'undesirable' there should be an automatic path to residence through the military.  If they are willing to defend this country, I think the least we can do is welcome them to live in it.  However, that is not the law at the moment.
153254
i don't think you guys are being very nice making fun of her english - she's obviously going through a tough time right now!  If he's run away from you I don't know that theres a lot you can do.  If you are in contact with his family maybe you could ask them for support - see if they know anything and if they can talk to him for you, he hasn't behaved very well and you deserve at least an explanation from him - good luck!
89788
I heard about this on the news this morning. IMO, he had a choice whether or not to perform the act that resulted in the baby. Even if she says she is on birth control, or he uses a condom, it does not matter. The only 100% safe birth control is not to do it. So if he went ahead with the act and she accidently got pregnant, he is just as responsible as she is.\n\nOn the other hand, if she intentionally got pregnant, and knew he had no desire to have a child, then he may have a case. But that will probably be hard to prove. I also agree that the child should not be punished or suffer because of this, but neither should the father.\n\nBut this is just my opinion.
587438
This is not about you or your boyfriend's son.  This is about your boyfriend.  I can pretty much guarantee you that he has made it clear that he is going to be with you and she is PISSED OFF!!! It has a little to do with what you do for the son, but it has more to do with what you are getting and have.  You have to remember that you have the life she would of had if she wasn't such a b*****.  There is no way that anyone can talk to her about this because she is too angry and irrational right now.  Basically, you cannot reason with crazy people.  However, your boyfriend does have some rights if he is paying child support.  She CANNOT keep him from seeing his son if he is paying child support.  If he has to take her to court to get visitation, then go to court.  If he isn't paying child support, then he's got a problem.  Of course you do not want to put the child through custody battle, but it might come down to that if he's not paying.  Most importantly, do not give up fighting to see him.  Bring in a mediator, go see a priest, hire a witch doctor, whatever, but do not give up on this child.  Even if his mother does not see it, I am sure that this little boy felt safe in your home with his two brothers, his father and you.  And no matter how this turns out remember that if she continues to do this, that little boy is going to resent and hate her.  Every kid needs to know their parents and when he gets a little older and understands what she's done, I pretty sure that he is going to go running to his father and she might be left with nothing.  So keep the door unlocked for him.
39212
He cannot "sign away his rights", because he has no rights in the situation; he only has a responsibility.  Specifically, he has a responsibility to support the child he fathered.  Whether he wants to have anything to do with the child is irrelevant.  Not to put to fine a point on it, but your fiance sounds like an a**hole.
393465
You're right, it's not fair to him at all. He should not be responsible for this child unless he is aware that the baby is not his and he still wants to take care of him/her. I would talk to your friend and tell her that she needs to come clean with him or you'll do it for him. What she's doing isn't fair for him, the biological father, or the child.
616211
Ooh...what a mess! Ok, first, should have waited a little longer to cohabitate. Now that makes it hard on you, your boyfriend and your son. All things in due time, my dear. Next, I do have some good news here...you'll probably always love your son's father in some small way because he shared with you an experience no one else has, which is creating your child together. This will change with more time, though I can't say if your feelings for your boyfriend will change. I loved my ex dearly but he wasn't in love with me. He accidentally got me pregnant and we both decided it was for the best for me to have an abortion. We're still great friends ever since we broke up, but that will always tie us together, even though no one else knows what truly bonded us. It took me time but I didn't move on until I was really ready and it sounds like you did. You're also really young and you already have a child so a lot of this could stem from those early 20's feelings of newfound independence and sowing wild oats. Only you can decide. Take some time for yourself and figure out what it is you really want. Once you clear your head, you might realize you do love this man, or you might soundly be able to declare to yourself that you don't. Remember that love takes time to build and establish, and you haven't been with this new guy for too terribly long. Whatever you decide, best of luck to you.
273476
i was in your almost same situattion i was 17 (pregnant) he was 31. I lived in Nh i ran away to NYC. He got very possesive than that turned to abuse. Go back to your family, you dont knpw what you are putting them through. Atleast let them knoe that you are ok to let them know you are alive. I did see my mom for year & half & she wasnt mad please let them know you are ok. Do you know what its like to have the FBI contact your family saying they have a teenage girl that matches their daughters description. well thats what happened to my mom & i regret the hell i put her through. If i could only do it over. I now have a daughter & hope she never puts me through what i put my mom through.\nremember family is forever. please go back & if you need anyone to talk to email me.
349882
I am sorry for people dying during war.  But i am sick of soldiers families (i.e. rose gentles) going on about the illegal war - if you didnt want your son to fight in a war you should have stopped him joining the army.  I feel for innocent people who die during war not people who pick up a gun and go and fight.