I love a girl and she told our love to her father and i have spoke to him 3 times and he is not accepting. I even told him that we had sex b4 and still he is telling that he will take this issue to his relation. If their relations accepts he will accept else he will not coz we two belongs to different caste. Iam a typical man who never think my life with other girl. I had sex with her in thought that she is my wife. For the past 55 days they r not letting her out and i do know where is she currently. They r also not giving any ph calls to her. She is 23 and iam 25. She told to her frd that she will not ran away with me and she waits till her father does mariage to us else she will not marry other. But her fath told that he will tell the result in the month of May. But as far as i heard from a frd she told that he will not do marriage for us. Iam ready to take this issue even to media coz i love her that much and i need her. She hasn't made any cals still now. PLS let me know what 2 do
131135
I think that you are either in a different country or from some extreme ethnic background because the fact that they are not letting her out is kidnapping and forcible confinment! \nIf you are in America call the local police or hiatus house!\nIf you are in a different country I'm afraid there is nothing you can do, because a daughter has to listen to her father in many countries and may be killed for dishonoring her family if she runs off with you.
549496
you love two girls........it's not wrong in doing so.............but you have to find out that both of them love you.........I am sure that the possibilities would be that one among the two might love you or else both of them will love you or else neither of them will love you..............I know finding an answer to these possibilities would be very tough as you are in 10th standard and all of you will be concentrating on studies........\n\nSo you have to wait till the exams get over and try out these possibilities by yourself.............look for long lasting relationship which will end up in marriage and will continue into the future....\n\nRemember love is mutual and it has to be from both sides........you cannot force the other one to love you\n\nI hope my suggestion will help you to choose the one from the two........or some other girl in future......\n\nAll the best
440703
You are thinking in the right direction my friend. You shouldn't light your home by burning someone else's. And the guy who says that he doesn't love wife then why did he marry her. Who knows he may say the same thing to someone other girl, after you get married to him.\nI don't know who and how your lover is. So I can't comment on whether he is a good person or not. At the moment you are the best judge of the situation and I hope you make the right decision. Because this one decision could change your life for better or for worse. Good luck.
668110
LISTEN VERY CAREFULLY!  It looks like he made his choice already.  A man will never leave his wife to be with the other woman.  If you guys were talking before he got married and he still married the other woman...I'm sorry to say, but he is not thinking about leaving his wife for you.  He has his cake and eating it too..so to say.  You are only hurting yourself if you continue to pursue this relationship.  Save yourself from anymore heartache and just end it.
316542
This must be painful for you and for that I am sorry.  But you have to understand this part of her life has nothing to do with you.  She is having the affair, and if they are already on their way to a divorce, then its to late.  There is no need for you to damage your relationship with her, so calmly ask her to explain why they are getting a divorce.  If she includes the other men, as part of the reason you will not need to say anything else, if she omits him then you can ask, but you must understand that you do not have all the facts and the divorce although painful to you is not about her divorcing you.  Although a person wants a divorce it is usually very painful for them too so now is a time for you to be supportive to both your parents and I hope they are supportive for you also.  It scares me that you say "it is not respectful to me or my father", maybe your father was cheating on her first, it has nothing to do with respecting you.  Think about it. God bless you.
409080
You should not blame yourself for this. The guy sounds like a jerk to me. I have not really had the best relationships with guys either, so I understand how you are feeling. My situations were not exactly like yours, but I still get how you are feeling. The only thing I can give you for advise is that if he is not "man" enough to keep a relationship with your daughter, then it will be him that loses out on a great little girl. As for dealing with her... I can only say I would try to have as little communication with HER as possible. If your daughter goes to visit him, make sure that you are talking with him to make the arrangements. If you feel that you two "are not suppose to be together" I think that you should make that crystal clear to him, there is nothing harder than letting him think that there is something between you when you in reality have no feelings for him. It will only make things more difficult for you in the long run. Another little tip is to keep someone in your life that you feel like you can always turn to for advise either a close friend or family member (this always helps me and plus you get a second opinion for free). I hope that this little bit helped :-)
173568
The fact that he says he doesnt want to marry you is another way of telling you that we are just having fun.But there is no need to mention it.Not everyone will get married but if you love you girl enough, you will say i love you and show her that love.Automatically she will know that this is a worthy relationship.Mentioning that he wont marry you,should give you a light that he is not your guy because you seem to care about getting married.Why on earth would a person claim that they love you a lot and still have some areas of love RESTRICTED.Hit the freeway sister.....
434972
AK,\n  This is ALOT like the situation I was in before, ONLY reversed------------------- I can't speak for "your girl", but from a gal's point of view, I'm seeing from all you described, SHE is confused and she got caught up in you, probably feels guilty, and is in a tough spot about what to do with her marriage..............................\n  She is going through alot emotionally and I'm sure she does love you.  It's a confusing time for her with alot of emotions going on.\n  Don't drop her, 'cause we all need someone in our lives who care and if you disappear, she would be lost, I can tell you that!\n  I'd say it would be good to get out there and date, but stay in touch with this girl too.\n\nWhat you "should do" is all up to you.  You said she is the girl of your dreams, THEN, stand by her--------------LOVE is PATIENT.\n  That;s it right there, how much she means to you!\n\nNext, I'm wondering maybe "your girl" doesn't exactly know where she stands with you.  Does she know you love her?  Have you offered her a future with you?  Maybe she needs some reassurance so that maybe she can have that strength to leave her husband, if she knows she "fits in" your life!\n\nDivorce isn't easy as you already know, and maybe for "your girl" she is having a hard time with the idea of fully "letting go" of her marriage for whatever reasons, SO I wouldn't take her hesitation personal cuz she is dealing and going through alot all at once!\n\nTalk to her, be there for her, just be her friend right now, and you might be ok with that if the both of you are secure in your love for each other, see?   Please don't turn your back on her.  That's all I wanted to say.\n\nGood luck to you both and with your support she will get through her problems, you will see!
72753
She should evaluate their relationship....what really is important for him? Why after seven years ans telling her he wants to marry wouldn't he want her to meet his parents? What does he has to hide? is he hiding something? All in all she should value herself...a man that really loves a woman will not push her to do something she is not sure to do...he will respect her decisions and believes and if she does not wants to have sex before marriage...which I think is something very important for her...he should respect that decision...
19762
Let her go. I'm so sorry to say this but you will be better off. You have the right and oblogation to be a good father to your girl. Any woman who truely loves you would understand that.
278443
Don't fight with him. Ask him calmly why he is still in touch with her. If he becomes evasive or gets defensive, then you have cause to be suspicious for he IS hiding something then. If your suscipion is confirmed, then decide what you want to do next. If you still love him, tell him so and ask him to choose - you & your daughter or her. If he is undecided, I see no point in holding on to someone who doesn't really love you fully.
471526
First of all its your mistake that you are loving 2 girls and spoiling 2 girls at a time. Loving 2 girls is fine, but 1st girl wants to marry you or not, if she is going to marry you, its your mistake again you got engaged with 2nd girl. Those girls knows each other.?.\n\nForget about love, get marry with 2nd girl and enjoy with 1st one if she comes to you some time later, but make sure that no conflict happens.\n\nMail me on mkkittu@yahoo.com
126875
i think it is going to be really hard for you but you should just try to sit your daughter down explain to her the things of life what you are&#92;were going through.tell her its not the person but the heart.tell her ,her father was not a bad person but the things that were suppose to be between you and him were just not happening and you have now found it in this person. tell her to try to see your lady as a person you love and that loves you and not a female.
82527
Forget about her father. Save up money and if you are in love, get married. Treat her well, and maybe in time, her father will accept you.
320222
Here are somethings to consider:\n1. She's a scared as he might be by graduating. He'll go on to meet other girls and her 16 year old life will be a memory or after thought. Reassure her that is not the case.\n\n2. She's 16. Changing there mind is what they do. Marriage? Not in real life but now the reality of how different they are maybe setting in.\n\n3. Don't push him but be there for him. He'll talk when he's ready but you're the "other people" and could never understand what he feels or so he thinks anyway. You'll get your chance to speak but don't beat him up with what you'd do.\n\n4. Pray\n\n5. Be careful of boudries you set. All that matters to him right now is the girl. He may disregard any booundries you set which will cause conflict with you.\n\n6. Pray\n\n7. Explain to him her mindset (see #1). He needs to reaasure her and give her room. If he wants to keep her then he'll have to bit the bullet on this one and just do it.\n\n8. Never say there are other fish in the sea or anything close to that. He doesn't want fish, he wants lobster. Saying that gives him the impression that you don't feel where he is with it.\n\n9. Did I say pray?.\n\n10. Time. This is the part that hurts the most. He'll always feel something for her but only time will work for him. You don't need to rush him through it but love him through it. He needs his parents to hold him up in love. Not control who he loves. \n\nThe lesson he'll learn when it's all said and done is what love not only is but what it's not. This is a part of his development and as much as it hurts him (and you) he'll grow to maturity if he fights the good fight. \n\nWhatever you do, don't liken his kid relationship to a real marriage. To him it may be but you in your maturity know that we have all been here before and it didn't kill us now did it? Just love him through it and give him some room to grow. He'll be okay. \n\nLastly, we all respond to emotions differently (death, births, marriage, divorce etc). Some emotions you can't help but just need to let them take there course until they have run there course.\n\nDid i mention prayer? That's what I'll be doing for you.
15622
Wow, I have read all your questions and I feel for you.\nI think the most important thing are your 2 daughters that it seems like you both love. For their well being they need to have their father in their life.\n\nI think you really need to look inside and really think what is it that you want out of your life. I think you 2 are mature enough to not play games. If you do not have any reason to feel he is cheating, then I will not believe that he asked you that just to fish for information.\nI think that to have family dates on a weekly basis, should give you enough time to see if he is really changing, and to find out what are your true fillings for him. Also keep up the counselling together and each alone. I will stick to the dates and the counseling for now, until you are convinced that this time would be the last time.\nGood luck
612153
If you love him and he loves you, you will overcome this. The families will learn to except you , or they will loose there son. A real man would tell there parents,,,this  is who i love and i will marry, except my wife, or i wont be coming around no more, i have a new wife , and that,s my family. But it takes a real man to stand up for his wife / women. Once that happens, things will fall into place. But don't have a man do all this for you,,,if you don't truly  love him. That would be so cruel, never lead a man on. Be sure of what you want before you take that step together. My Thoughts are with you. ~*~*~*~ Peace.