I started talking to a girl I went to school with, back last summer. I had seen her email address on an email from another classmate concerning our 20th class reunion. BTW, I'm 38, she's 39, so this isn't some teenage puppy love.\n\nAnyway, we exchanged emails for several months, eventually she ask me out. Well, we went out on a grand total of 3 dates, we seemed to be getting along great. I knew she wanted to take things slowly, and I am/was fine with that. Our dates only consisted of dinner. We spent a total of about 1 1/2 hours on each date. The answer I got was that she couldn't find a sitter. She has a 12yr old son, and a 6yr old daughter. I even suggested that we could do pizza and a movie at her house just so we could spend more time together. She never really gave me a good answer on that. And I know, she may not have wanted to get the kids involved so early. I understand that, even though I had met the kids.
121536
It's pretty obvious that she's no longer interested  in you.Just try to understand her because it's hard to be mom,maybe she's having a problem with her kids and she doesn't want you to get involve,try to get out her into your mind,go and find someone that you deserve.GOOD LUCK
665275
I met a lady on line and finally met her. She was about 10 years older than me and we both knew we didn't want to get serious, just have fun. We had a great secret and private relationship for about 4 years before she started to have physical problems.\n\nThose are 4 years, though that I will never forget. Unlike women my age, this lady really appreciated me and made me feel good. I went out of my way to appreciate her too. Sometimes I wish I could find somebody to take her place, but at least I can dream about her.\n\nTX Guy
318082
Have her take her time and get to know the person.  All the others who went away it does not matter.  They were not right for her.  Just have her hang on and be patient.  If not have her contact me,  I like to get to know the person slowly.  my email is bigdaddyswantsblwjob@yahoo.com.  Yea Yea I know I have that name for an email and said I am patient.
239896
I think you need to do a little maturing.  \n\nLife happens.  If a tournament has been canceled, then there is probably a good reason for him to have talked to her for 20 minutes.  Hell, I have been on the phone with the pizza place for 20 minutes trying to get an order straightened out...it doesn't mean that I'm looking to hook up with the moron on the phone.  \n\nOn the other hand...if you guys are serious about your own relationship, I don't think that it is out of hand for you to let him know that you would feel more comfortable if he found a MALE tennis partner.  Personally, I think that's is a wee bit strange, regardless of the age.
661382
wow!.. that was beautiful.. Such a romantic!.. (takes my breath away..) boy, I hope it all happens for ya.. You sound like the coolest to be in a relationship with. It's risky business tho. The higher up you get (and I know.. I'm the romantic type too) the longer the fall sometimes. I tend to overromanticize things (and I know.. maybe we all do at times.. ?) and get hurt easy as hell.. Happens every time.. Some day I'll find MY Mr. Right.. I sort of envy old people.. the ones that have been married 50 years, but still must have some kind of connection, eh? What happened to the ex g.f. then you were with when you high-fived and fell head over heels for this honey? Well, my tendency here is to tell you to hold onto your dream.. you've high standards, but.. perhaps w/luck (yes, there is luck out there) you'll meet her again.. Or.. perhaps another one twice the woman? who knows? (all the world luvs a lover.)
319165
tell me Jonat, did you ever see that movie, "Must Love Dogs"? She didn't create the profiles herself, her sister or best friend did. But she played along, and met a few men. She did eventually come to like the one she saw the most. Rent it, it might give you an idea.  wanted a simpler idea? How about braggin about her, to every guy you meet, who has a brother or even who has a friend, who wants a girl friend?  Where exactly do you live? And how old are you and your best friend? I might know a guy, she might like. Just maybe.
48715
Congratulation, you thought of something that I never thought of, "Brovo".  On my first date I was 14, I took the girl next door to the movie's and we kissed of course, and even was lucky to have fondled her puppies that first time.  I remember having such confidence that day.  We actually went out for a year and a half.  Her and her family move to California, that was a very sad week for me, I can tell you that.  Finally got over it and moved on with my life...   Dr Checko...   (Nickname)
462754
I think she is just taking advantage of a very good thing.  If she's only contacting you on rare occasions (when SHE needs something) that should be a clue. It sounds to me like she only keeps you around to keep herself happy and doesn't take you seriously enough to dump her other "male company" and get with you "full time" because she thinks you're just a friend (or..... something.......) I am sorry that someone would treat you this way.  Truly I think you deserve so much better - someone who can appreciate your gifts and dinners for all they're worth and return the favor.
666783
Well, she did give you a heads up that she would be busy this weekend. I'm sure this is question requiring a sensible answer from a female. But what i would think is wait till after the weekend and maybe just one more day. If no reply, two possibilities, a)She's REALLY busy b)Something's wrong between you two. Face things as they come and dont get paranoid. And ease up on the emails and texts.
492299
sounds like your in a pickle...i am 26,man that looks old, but anyways, listen.i got the same thing from my girl, about a few weeks ago. not the fact of moving cause of school or anything(we have been 2 gether for 6-7 years and have a 4yr old son). she just came to me with the fact that she thought we need time,i never saw it coming and all that, yeah..it sucks.when your in love and when they come to you with this crap, your kinda like...what?when?how?why?me? i got like you. thisterrible sinking feeling inside.thats when you really know that you care,but what hurts the most is when they are like?oh?i hurt you?\nBUDDY, i hope your young.you have no children? so go on with your life.its gonna be ahrd, i mean you put in the effort, 5 years of your life and now this. it will take some time getting over this, but hey. im sure you have a mom, or family or friends you can lean on at this time. it will just take time, besides...there are soooooo many beautiful women out there. i was at the point to where iwas like i didnt care about those other women, but get this...they do care. they are out there looking just like you will have to.some will come to you,and some you will have to suck it up and go for.everyone gets rejected here nd there*trust me it sucks) but movw to the next. if you dont want to get hurt all over again, then dont get too involved. whats the best part about this? you will meet so many intresting people and get to do new things. yeah she might be in austin having a blast with out you. you will just have to accept this, get over it and have blast yourelf. if your here and shes there, it will make it easier,but when she comes back...or is ever alone at school and the memories come back to her, she will reliaze that she had something special. not every man is gonna treat her like you did..some may be better, most will be worse(most guys in collage are NOT looking for relationships ya know?) and she will, or try to reach you again to see how you are. hopefully youve moved on, got a black book packed with girlfriends, that are friends, some even more, thats when its sweet..when she comes back trying to be a apart of your life again...you might take her back...you might reliaze, you have moved on and shes just another face in the crowd, she didnt care about your feelings then...you could blow her off, you could give it a shot all over agian. i know its not easy.in fact me and my girl are still together after i found out how she felt. we are not married..so its no promise that it will work, all i know is that i have son with this woman, and i love him-if it works with her,great if not...i ahve him, and thats all i will ever need, me,him,god-you will understand once you have a kid, it is amazing\nwell good luck pal,keep your head up..if it help..go beat the shit out of a door, or punching bag, a little stress relief, or go have a drink this weekend at aclub or bar, and enjoy the view, the eye candy..the ladies!who knows, someone might be looking for a someone like you.
481253
Thanks for saying you were 25.  It is difficult to know what you need to do if you know you have to move away.  You realize the closer you get, the more pain you feel when you have to leave.  I have been through it myself.  I bit the bullet and poured out my heart and told her how I felt.  It didn't get me anywhere, but I felt better about it.  It is best to lay all the cards out on the table and take the consequences, than to regret that you passed up the chance later on.  A nice quite dinner and a little snuggle time without a crowd is all it takes to get a guy to open up.
122082
According to her stiffing you on the date, and her reaction to asking about it, I say it's a no-win situation.  It could definitely happen with someone half your age, but I don't see it happening any time soon.  Girls at 18 are still just girls, regardless of how grown they think they are.  Younger guys are more apt to deal with this sort of behavior, because it's a younger people-type problem.  \nI won't shame you for going after a young woman, as you seem to at least have your head on straight, which I have come to find is STILL somewhat rare in men, even up to age 60 (I could be wrong, but you made it sound good)!  But I think you'd be better off to deal with someone closer to your age, even mid-twenties.  Why?  I'm 24, and I'm gaining a preference for men in their mid-thirties, though I do find people who impress me at younger ages, and older men who still disgust me with their antics.  \nI think it's probably best that you let her deal with her peer pressure and peer group mingling, and move on to greener pastures, lest you drive yourself crazy and find out I was right several months later  ;-)\n\nGood luck to you  :-)
29679
That happened to me and it was the end of the relationship.  We met in college, had a long-distance relationship, then together for several months, then she moved 4-5 hours away after getting fired and getting a better job.  She wanted to marry, or at least live together openly, while I knew I couldn't marry her (too neurotic, too much fighting) and tried to hold on to the passionate girlfriend/boyfriend relationship indefinitely.  So it had been a holding pattern for several months, and her moving didn't really change it.  Soon she told me of reciprocal interest with a co-worker, which in retrospect I think was trying to drive me off, but I didn't bite and was actually friendly with the jerk.  Finally she said, "I think we ought to cool it and date other people".  I was in shock, but I remember what came out was, "You mean you want to break up?"  I don't remember what she said but the upshot was I wasn't going to share and she didn't try to work out a sharing arrangement.  Eventually she married the jerk.  I got an invitation to the wedding but I never answered and broke off contact.\n\nSo through the lens of my life experience, the relationship is on its last legs and you're looking for the kill.  I think the more honest and humane approach would be to present an ultimatum to get off of hold or break up, or just leave if you're not committed enough to force that issue.  It may seem cold, but it's better than getting into the jealousy thing with other guys.  I know being left for another man was much harder on me than being left out of general dissatisfaction, and it killed my interest in follow-up friendship (that part might be a blessing).  Someone else's story might have a different moral.\n\nGood luck,\nhouyhnhnm
276047
There are all levels of interest - she seems to be interested in expanding her social boundaries ... it sounds like she wants to know and interact with a lot of people.  Including you but not exclusively you.  She also sounds like she was proceeding toward getting to know you better, otherwise she would not have suggested the two of you go shopping together (although I am not sure a lot of guys want to go shopping with a girl right off the bat....if ever at all!)  There is a big difference between walking around a Mall with lots of people around and sitting down to a one-on-one dinner.  The former is a great deal less intimate and less intimidating.  The latter is a committed step toward getting to know someone and could possibly be awkward if there hasn't been any groundwork done beforehand between the two at the dinner table.  People reach emotional levels at different rates - you clearly have sped too fast toward a level she had not reached.  It may be too late to backtrack.  It may not - the only way you will know is to message her and, if she answers, then continue that correspondence - at HER rate, not yours.  Don't overwhelm her with messages if she does not answer.  If she doesn't respond, then you will know that this is not "to be" and move on.
677127
My wife and I had the same friends all throughout high school. We didn't know each other til I competed with her friend who was supposed to get the lead in the musical. I auditioned as a joke (I was a band person) then got the part. Ironically I now teach choral and general music. \n\nTwo things that cemented our relationship: I (very immature) asked her best friend to the prom, when everyone thought I'd ask her. She chose to wait for me to mature. (Thank you, dear.) And when I always wanted to spend my lawn mowing money taking her out to dinner, she'd always tell me to put it away and come to her house and she'd cook (Ahhh. the power of the pot!). We've been married 24 years. Have three "top 10 of the their class" girls. \n\nThe same jokes, busts, memories, attitudes, outlooks, stem from those days. \n\nAnytime, there has been stress on our relationship was due to loosing focus on the other person and focusing on (myself.) The classic American overly- ambitious path, materialism, no time for family, etc.\n\nI would include her in that comment but in 24 years I honestly cannot think of a time my wife was ever selfish or self centered or overly ambitious that she was the cause of stress on our relationship. (not once, ever. I mean thinking about it now, that is incredible.) Simply put,\n\nI'm a lucky guy.
187432
Is there any chance of you actually meeting? Why dont you meet in person first and see how it goes from there? 3 years is no big deal. Girls are usually more mature anyway   :)
370997
i'm 23 and can tell you honesty is always best. i like flirting but if i know a guy is interested i make it pretty obvious i am too but most women are not like that so you will just have to walk up to her start making small talk and try and read her body language to see if she's interested in you. then just ask her, if she says no she's in a relationship believe her, its nothing against you. if she says yes then you're in!  i really think all the game playing/flirting without making it clear that you're interested in someone is a waste of time and you miss so many great opportunities. as far as your past and the overweight issue, i understand i have a sister who has struggled for yrs. with this and she went through a divorce several yrs ago and that really damaged her ego further. she felt like no one would ever want her but the thing is there are many men who prefer larger women. i tend to be on the thinner side not skinny but more slender and have been out at clubs with my sis and there are just as many men who hit on her as they do me. the difference i think is confidence plain and simple, she went through alot got some counseling and came to grips with who she really is and accepted it in doing that she overcame it and many men find that more attractive that she's confident and sure of herself and really comfortable with herself.  you need to understand that no matter what weight you are you are still attractive and that you're a good person, witty and intelligent and have a lot to offer.  even beautiful ppl get rejected (just look at all the stars lately getting divorced) so its nothing personal and being rejected is not necessarily bad it may well save you from a really bad relationship. bottom line you will never know if this woman is the one unless you talk to her and pursue it, if she isn't interested then you know she's not for you. try not to let the past control your future (the overweight teenager thing) recognize that this is an issue with you that you let it control your actions probably in all aspects of your life but especially dating. once you recognize the problem its easier to deal with, now its time to put it all behind you, what you are in the past is not as important as what you are today and understand that all the bad stuff in your past has made you the person you are today, be thankful for the good and the bad. you sound like a really nice guy and i can tell you although women fall for a bad guy at least one time in their lives they are searching for someone just like you. i really hope you act on this, you just never know who is waiting and wanting to meet you and if you don't do something about it then you are guaranteed to never know if she's the one for you. go for it...because the worst thing that could happen is she's already taken then you will know for sure and can move on. good luck, hang in there and don't live in the past , learn from it otherwise you are doomed to repeat it.