Here's the deal, we can get married methodist (his church) and then get remarried Catholic (my church) when his annulment comes through.  That's what we want but Mom and Dad want the big ceremony Catholic.  I can't be too pushy because they will bring up the fact that they are paying for the wedding.  Does that give them the right to control our wedding?  Eloping sounds better all the time but I still want to walk down the aisle and have our family and friends there to celebrate with us.
135011
Let them know that paying does not imply planning, they are helping your wedding not planning the perfect one they wish they had. This is your day no one should keep you from what you want. Do what you feel is right don't follow others orders just cause they're paying the tab. Is that the only reason they're help, so they can control it? If you get anything besides love and support don't let them pay for it because as the wedding gets closer they'll just be more and more controling
461805
Ooo, the fun of managing etiquette at "split family wedding" time. Points to you and your parents for keeping things civil, even friendly, up until now! Many people don't manage it.\n\nSo what can your mom give that won't upset that great situation?\n\nNothing sentimental, unless it involves both of them - for example, a beautiful frame for a photo of the new bride and groom, to be displayed prominently, with a note that says, "May you build many happy memories together." Ditto for a really nice photo album - especially if you already have photos of them together that you can put on the cover, or inside.\n\nUm, lamp, passing torch... you know them all better than I do, but see, it isn't up to your Mom to pass the torch to her successor... unless all three of them already have some sort of in joke to that effect, one you know they ALL find amusing, I'd pass on that.\n\nNext choice -- see what they've registered for and pick something from the list. Hard to get in trouble, unless they're registered at a lingerie shop. Hard to misinterpret a set of matching serving spoons or a vase, especially if they've chosen it for the registry.\n\nNext -- a set of goblets or glasses, etched with his first initial, and hers. Also something your mom and you could do at home (craft stores have kits - practice on glasses from a thrift store until you're ready to do the gift glasses - it's easy to do).\n\nGood luck!
140064
Is it similar to a wedding ceremony? If so then just go by that. If it is different you could still use one of them. I think that is really nice.
10435
If you wish to be legally wed, you must get a marriage license from the county in which you plan to have the ceremony conducted. If you just want to play house without protecting your legal interests, talk to your Clergyman about a commitment ceremony, but don't gripe when you can't put each other on your health insurance,visit each other in the hospital if one of you gets incapicitated, have to go through hell and back to make funeral arrangements, have trouble getting a mortgage or life insurance and your auto insurance premiums stay the same instead of dropping by nearly 25% if you both have decent driving records.
27311
I'm sure your mother means well, but she doesn't understand the hurt and pain that you are going through. It's easy for her to say "Put it away" because she's not the one who was betrayed.\n\nWhether or not to attend the wedding should be entirely your choice. Don't let anyone else guilt you into going. If you are still working through the hurt, you have to do what's right for you. Everyone has the right to set and maintain their own boundaries and to work through their pain on their own schedule.\n\nDo what you know is right in your heart, and don't let anyone else make you feel bad about it. You don't owe an explanation or justification, either. Stick to something simple: "I just don't feel ready to do that" should suffice.\n\nHopefully someday you'll be able to work through this and have a relationship with your sister. But that's something that cannot be rushed, and no one else has the right to push you.\n\nDr. Barb Nefer, http://www.bnlifeskills.com
398001
My mother's boss's husband (that's a mouthful) who's also an old family friend just got ordained online so that he could perform his son's wedding ceremony. It's completely legit as long as you check out the site. Apparently there are some scammy type ways to be ordained online but there are some legitimate ones. I'm actually thinking about him doing my own wedding since we don't attend a specific church and have no minister of our own.
444803
Here's my best guess:\n\nThey wanted to help out you and your fiance. They wanted to give him a great wedding and they probably thought they could, until the sister got engaged. Because they are obligated to pay for her wedding now, they probably can't affored to pay for both. \n\nThey are going to pay for the rehearsal dinner, I guarentee that because ettiquette says they should and they will. You need to have your fiance talk to his parents and find out the reason behind the broken promise.\n\nAgain, my  best guess is that sister's wedding threw a monkey in their pocket book and they don't know how to tell you they can't afford to take on your wedding too -- your parents should be doing that afterall, and I'm guessing that's what they expect.
463421
Hi, Roman Catholic here.\n1. the baptism thing was up to the priest. Some are more harsher then others.\n2. I have no idea about the annullment process, but I do know that since Vatican 2, it's gotten easier. Sorry your grandma probably tried to get annulled in Vatican 1, which was very strict and even more male-orienated then it is now.\n3. You wanted to be a female alter girl? Join the club. I wanted to be a priest, even held masses for my dolls. I learned that the chruch has been doing things a certain way for many years and won't change over night.\n4. Yes, you had some bad experiences with the church, but that is no reason to just stop going. I'm 26 too. I fell away from the church for five years and decided to go back.\n5. As long as it's for medical reasons and not because you want to have willy-nilly sex, the birth control pills are ok. YOu have a legitament reason for them.\n\nHowever, to be absolved of any sin, you must go to confession and tell the priest everything. After that, you may take the eucharist in mass. As a returning CAtholic, nothing felt better then to confess after five years of living in sin. It's scary, yes, but you do feel better when you leave.\n\nTake care.
540802
Hey, you have my name!  J/K, glad to see another believer has my name at least.  My thoughts and prayers for you are that you truly seek God's face during this time.  Getting married will not solve your fiance's situation.  In fact, it might compound it with the newness of marriage and everything sexual involved with it.  I commend him for his want to overcome his situation, and I truly believe he needs to seek Godly counseling through the pastor or another strong believer with experience in these areas.  You, also, should attend counseling.  Don't let co-dependency conform you to "accepting" his addiction because your love is all powerful.  It can happen and that I believe is not God's will.  We should love God first, and our spouse second.  In this be on your face seeking God's will for your life.  Another thing for your fiance to keep in mind is that he doesn't have to prove anything to God, God knows every hair on our heads, I would think he knows what is in the depths of each of our hearts too.  He really has to live a different life daily and dissociate himself from everything to date that has caused his situation.  Counseling, support and accountability are what he needs big time.  Prayers and love =)
523040
At 22 you are entitled to do what you want, make your feelings known to your parents, tell them you love them and appreciate their concerns, but it is your life, and as an adult you need the time and space to make your own decisions.  Talk frankly to them about any misconceptions they have of your fiance, but don't do it with hostility.  You say you have prayed about your decision, that suggests a faith in God, in which case, approach this with a meek and humble attitude.  Respect your parents, involve them in your decision as much as possible, but ensure they know that it is your decision, and that they must abide by it.\n\nMy daughter is getting married in a few weeks, her fiance would not be my choice, but she is the one marrying him, and I love her enough to respect that choice, your parents will do the same if they love you.
53193
That's TACKY...plan a wedding you can afford, or wait to get married until you've saved enough money to have the wedding you want but do not expect anyone but your own parents to pay for your big day.
41949
If you want to get married in a catholic church, you will be given all kinds of "conditions" and have to jump through all kinds of hoops to satisfy the priest.  Even after you jump through all the hoops, he might refuse to let you actually walk up the aisle, you might have to stand at the back of the church and get married there.  And the priest also might look and see how much your fiance has donated, and if it is not enough, he might still might not do the ceremony until your fiance satisfies his greed.\n\nUpdate to david_in_mil...:  My brother was one of the people I know that went through it.  He and his wife did all the nonsense the priest demanded, then he told them he would not marry them because he looked at the ledger, and saw no donations from him or his wife.  When they explained that she did not like using envelopes and simply put the money in the collection basket, he said she had no proof, and until they met his price, no wedding.  They went to an Episcopal church and were married there - no nonsense, no problems.
127331
I am not a priest but I am Catholic so I hope I can give you some help on this.  I was not Catholic when I married my Catholic husband.  I was christened as a child but I can't remember if they even asked for any documentation to prove that.  But we did have to meet with a priest to clear up issues about how any children would be raised, etc.  And, anyone getting married in the Catholic Church must attend pre-cana classes.  Also, I was not allowed, of course, to take communion during the ceremony.
37907
You have a great opportunity on your hands.  Ask your sisters bf to be an usher.  Explain that the mothers need escorts down the aisle.  He would still be a part of the wedding in an important position and you get to have your friends that you know in the bridal party.  If you do it politely and excitedly they will be more than happy to serve in that way.  And your sister needs to understand that being as you dont completely know her bf that he is still there and welcome and helping but after long talks, you would feel more comfortable w/ the other person in line instead.  Remember, tact and kindness goes a long long way.  Good luck and congratulations on your wedding.
408731
the bride does it and is usually escorted by someone (maid of honor)...i don't think the mom and bride should do this together since the bride has already been "given away" (although it's a nice thing to do)...the bride and groom going together is very nice and symbolic, but i think this part of the ceremony is meant for the future wife and mother to take a moment and pray to the Virgin Mary for guidance, etc.
574656
My wife's parents are not LDS, and they felt really bad that they could not attend the wedding of their oldest daughter.  Talk with your bishop before hand to see what he has to say about it.  If you go with it, then I would try and have everything look as close to a real wedding as possible without the actual typical cerimony.  Have someone talk about your marriage giving advise, etc.  In place of the typical marraige ceremony, create a "promise" ceremony where after you make promises to respect and love each other in a variety of ways.  Then after you agree, you can exchange rings then being wished with a happy life together.
34287
If I were the youth pastor, I would give the following response...\n\nTo honor your mother and father is not always to "obey". You could say, "Mother, Dad, I appreciate your input--I honor and respect your advice highly, but in this case, I think it would be in my best interest to..." What parent, in their right mind, would not feel honored? Parents want their children to make intelligent choices, not be micromanaged on every decision or dilema.\n\nNow, first, if you are under their roof, you are under their authority and care. You must take this in to account. If you live on your own, you are under your own rules for living. If you are under the legal age to live on your own, you are under your parents guidance and care.\n\nOK, let's say you honor your parent's wishes and skip the youth group event. What message have you sent? That you care about your parents will and opinion--even if it is wrong or goes against your faith. You value God's command to honor your parents--even though your faith has brought a division among the family. You have provided a far better witness of your faith by NOT attending, than you would BY attending. Do you see? Whatever you missed at the youth group event, God will restore one-hundredfold later because of your obedience at the present time.\n\nI would advise, don't go. And tell your parents it is because you honor their opinion. If they tell you to drop your faith in Christ, then you can break out the sword and say, "No." and go against their counsel.