heart.  You can't be ALL bad. What do you want the wife at home to do for you.  She cannot give the thrill of the mistress because of the excitement of working a quickie and some conversation in knowing the sex will be took care of each time.  If he married that mistress, then he wouldn't have the excitement of leaving work and saying the right things so you end up in bed and get your ego pumped up. Marriage cannot replace adultery. AM I RIGHT?  I need some closure here.  Those that want to attack go right ahead. My address luv2laughii@yahoo.com.
121273
I will try to open my heart to your question.do I cheat now? No there is no one to cheat on,but if there was I wouldn't now.But I cheated onmy first 3 wives over a 15yr. period.Why? The thing I remember the most,she did nothing to cause it,and I always felt guilty afterwards.\n I guess as I look back on it now,it confirmed the idea that other women found me attractive or handsome.
449589
Real simple: MARRY HER! What you're implying- SEX OUTSIDE MARRIAGE- is called "fornication" by God, which is SIN! You are VERY SELFISH! All you want to do is USE HER for your own gratification! The fact that you say you want to "convince her to go farther" PROVES this! You need to REPENT OF YOUR WICKEDNESS! See yourself as a LOST, GUILTY, HELL DESERVING SINNER! You are guilty of breaking God's law! "Thou shalt not commit adultery". Jesus said that if you "look on a woman to lust after her", you've "committed adultery with her already in your heart." (Matthew 5:27&28). Dude, you are A SLAVE TO YOUR PASSIONS! You are CONSUMED WITH LUST! Sex and all of the wonderful feelings that go with it are GOD GIVEN, and therefore "very good" as He pronounced after He had made Adam and Eve. But they were MARRIED! And that is why they were "naked and not ashamed". I would dare to say that your "girlfriend" is not your FIRST "fling", IS SHE? Are you still A VIRGIN? Even if you are OUTRIGHT, it's obvious you're not IN YOUR HEART! And I can guarantee that you are hooked on PORN, right? That stuff is DEADLY! You fill your mind and heart with ALL SORTS OF FILTH AND PERVERSION AND WICKEDNESS, and then you wonder WHY you have NO CONTROL over your passions! You're a slave to SATAN! The Bible rightly calls the devil "the god of this world". He ALWAYS takes what God has created as good and right and beautiful and perverts it into something very UGLY AND WICKED AND WRONG! That is what SIN is all about! The Bible speaks of "the pleasures of sin FOR A SEASON." You can "go all the way" or "part way", but EITHER WAY, it's still S-I-N!!! And it's basis is PRIDE! Notice how BOTH of those words have the letter "i" in the center! That's your problem: you are SELF CENTERED! You need to REPENT (turn from your sin and yourself) and TRUST IN THE LORD JESUS CHRIST TO SAVE YOU FROM YOUR SINS AND THE WRATH TO COME! One day you will die, and then you'll have to face the inevitable: ACCOUNTABILTY TO YOUR CREATOR FOR EVERY THOUGHT, WORD AND DEED! God loves you, and that's why Jesus Christ died on the cross for you! I beseech you sir: TURN FROM YOUR WICKED, SELF CENTERED WAYS TO CHRIST! And you need to do so TODAY! Tomorrow is too late! (You do NOT know when you'll die, now, DO YOU?) Quit being like so many OTHER guys today: A SELF CENTERED WHOREMONGER! Stop having this SICKENING mentality of just USING GIRLS for your own selfish pleasure! It really IS disgusting how so many guys will just SAY "I love you" to a girl SOLELY so they can "get what they want"! Love is A COMMITMENT! Everything else is LUST! And that is DESTRUCTIVE and ultimately leads to DEATH: Death in your body (STD'S); Death in relationships (resentment, mistrust, disrespect, divorce); Death in eternity (Hell fire for ever!). THINK ABOUT IT, AND TAKE HEED!
252959
I'm going to say YES!!! I think his boss feels like she & work should be his first priority. She is jealous of you.If it continues or escalates to sexual harrasment your husband should report her or put in a transfer request.Be Blessed!! Monica
336615
Aww come on dude, a woman needs to feel loved (love not sex)I am always there for my wife, I talk to her, I listen, sometimes she only wants to talk out a problem and does not want me to provide the answer. I take my share of cleaning the house (I work full time to provide the best for her as well).\nShe says she feels warm and contented when with me. I spend as much time as possible with her.\n\nI know what you are worried about, if you get everything else right, then sex will never be a problem, for me it is awesome.
438983
well you must be as old as me or older and i ask why are you wasting time on here talking about something that important.  I got lucky and found this site to stop me from being bored out of my mind at night at work but other then that i spend time with my woman and take care of her in any and every way.  So your wife probably isn't the problem.
241730
You are asking for trouble. You will betray your wife, and even if she doesn't find out (which she probably will) your relationship will never be the same. A lot of girls flirt with married men (sometimes because it is easy because they are unavailable), so if she is just flirting you may also lose a nice friendship with your neighbor. Either way, she doesn't have anything to lose, and you have everything to lose. You could end up having both women throwing you out on your ear - and you would deserve it. You would be a lot better off not flirting back and not spending time alone with her.
260661
Holy crap you sound EXACTLY like me. Keep doing what you're doing. Sorry to all the wives out there, but you have no obligation to anyone except yourself. He's the married one, so he has to take responsibility for his actions if she finds out. Enjoy yourself. Life's short.
217268
Well in my opinion he already knows that his commander is a d*ck, but nothing worth doing is easy. I would want my wife to support me, not let me know how crappy my position is. I know that already. Give him something to look forward to and cherish the time you do get with him. Many other women have bigger problems than "my husband works to much." You have your whole life ahead of you two to spend time together, let him get ahead in life now so that you can grow old, happy and rich together.  Support him he sounds like a good one.
46773
Wow I would think the opposite would be the case. More interested. \n\nI can affect your marriage especially if he wants to try things your not comfortable with. \n\nIt also sounds like your husband has 3 things you need to learn how to deal with. \n\n1) highly visual in regards to sexual stimulation. \nthis shold be a fun one for you. learn to teash and fill his (voyeristic side) it's actually common for men. after all our ("NEED" for sexual fulfillment) is based on our (Physical) responce to stimuli. \n\n2) Unmet "NEEDS" in the marriage. ( His Needs, Her Needs) at some point you started ignoring one of his 5 basic "NEEDS" when that happens he begins a process of withdrawing from the relationship. \nhis need went unmet so he withholds one of yours. now your upset and withhold another and he responds. \nonce one of either of you "LOVE BANKS" become empty your now suseptable to an affair. mainly because some external "person" began filling one of the "NEED" not being met at home. the problem can be fixed though after an affair it then will need professional help to solve. \n\n\n3) The books listed below can help you understand each of your 5 basic "NEEDS" as well as help you understand his unique "love language" ( the 5 love languages) which is basically words or actions that he accepts as messaages of love from another person. during dating you sends this messages uncounsiously. but after marriage we forgot what we did while dating and stop sharing the message of "LOVE" in a format he would understand. more time then not your sending signals in "Your own unique language" but he forgot the code also and no longer understands your language\n\nI hope that helped. if you have questions send a shout. \nI listed the books below that I quoted from. \nMay God Bless your family and help you find reconsiliation.
181326
"I don't want to divorce him over something this minor. (He would be left alone)"\n\nThis doesn't sound minor to me.  I'm 34 and going thru a divorce right now for similar reasons.  My wife and I have been married for 5 years, and I've never loved another person so strongly and intimately; but I've discovered that I'm not sexually attracted to her.  I tried to tell myself that it was a simple problem, and that it wasn't worth ending the marriage; but over time (and through therapy) I've learned that I was manipulating myself, and her, trying to keep the working parts of our marriage in tact at all cost – and damaging our relationship along the way.\n\nMy opinion: you are not responsible for his feelings, and you are not a bad person if you "leave him alone".  He's an adult, and can only benefit from facing this situation honestly.  How rewarding is this marriage going to be for him (or you) if your relationship isn't completely honest?  \n\nCHEAP ALTERNATIVE TO THERAPY\nTry 12 step meetings.  Not AA, but AlAnon, or better yet, CODA if it's available in your area (Codependents Anonymous).  You'll find yourself in a room full of people who are facing similar problems head-on, supporting one another without any bullsh*t.\n\nHope this isn't too preachy.\n\n:^|
102162
This is really hard because you don't want to destroy the relationship.  The thing about a relationship is that it is full of compromise by both partners equally.  In this case it seems like it is very one sided.  You need to sit him down and lay down the law in a manner of speaking.  If he loves you he should see that he needs to compromise to make you happy also.  If he can't see this and all he wants is the good little housewife who stays home all the time then you need to decide if that is a role you really want to play for the rest of your life.
94747
I agree...you have been brave...however...most men do not do well with ultimatums so you might lose him.  HOWEVER if it's really meant to be, he will come back after a while, once he realizes how much life sucks without you.  If he doesnt, sit back and be happy that you're not wasting anymore time on someone who's not willing to be with you the way you need and want.  \nI live by this:  \n\nIf you love something, set it free\nIf it comes back to you...it's yours\nIf not, it never was.\n\nI am currently in a very very similar situation...so I truly do understand what you feel like.  e-mail me if you wanna chat melissakct@yahoo.com\n\nAs for some of the mean rude answers you recieved...ignore them.  Men do not only cheat for no-strings attached sex, perhaps he simply made a mistake when he got married and now realizes it.  It's only natural for him to see what else is out there before getting a divorce as divorce is a painful expensive process.  Perhaps assisting him in his affair is not the most moral thing we could do...but I don't think you did anything wrong.  And just b/c he cheated on her...does not mean he will cheat on you.  It all depends on his state of mind when entering the affair.  If he truly stopped loving his wife (very very possible) and already emotionally left the marriage...chances are he will not cheat again.  Only you know the answer to that. \n\nHope to hear from you.
22956
I am a woman, but my mother gave me the BEST advice I ever heard.  She said, "If you want your marriage to FAIL, then go in the chat rooms!"  My husband and I vowed to never chat online with someone of the opposite sex.  Actually, we do NOT take our problems to the opposite sex at all.  That is how most affairs begin.  I am old fashioned, I suppose, but I think that married people need married couples for friends.  Anything else could be a little dangerous.  I know others will say it all boils down to trust, but even the most trusting person can be seduced.
356516
I'm guess your WIFE would not approve of the girlfriend and your cheating on her.  You know there are literally thousands of chicks out there that you could fall in love with.  You just going to keep cheating and dumping wives until you run out of them?  If you have problems work it out, that is what it means to be an adult.  Also, what real life issues have you and "work girl" been through.  I bet once you get married to "work girl" have some kids and some real responsibilities together, she'll be a bore too.  Chicks with no complications or responsibilities are always more fun.  Buck up dude and be a man.
161828
I can understand your frustration... I really can. But infidelity is a very large burden to bear. You say that you love your wife? Have you honestly sat down with her and openly talked about what you need sexually? Most men won't...they ask for sex, but they don't really talk about it. Even though it may be hard, have the talk with her. She may have issues that you don't even know about, and she is using her "medical" problems to avoid intimacy... I have done the same in the past (most women have at one time or the other). She could also have a legitimate reason, and you will have to make the decision if being celibate is what your willing to practice if you stay with her. Tough decisions definitely await you. Peace.
661999
The issue isn't if your husband is cool with it.  Are you?  I would guess not, or you wouldn't mask your emotions under a cloud of alcohol.  Or is the husband thing your excuse for being drunk?  I don't know, only you can.  Having great drunken sex is a plus in any relationship, but I don't think I would stay with someone just for the O factor, but hey, I don't have it that way! Personally, I stayed in a bad marriage way too long.  I would either find a way to make you happy in the current relationship or find a way to live without your husband.
273773
If that kind of man talks to me about his wife like that, I will tell him to tell directly to his wife in manageable ways. Sex might be important, not the important thing for building a marriage, but it's not good to let others beside our spouse knows the trouble of that, it's better if the couples set time together discuss.