Two weeks ago I bumped into an old guyfriend, now he is going into the Marine Corps in three weeks, I use to be in loved with him two years ago, and so was he. I do still love him, but I am not in love anymore with him. When we saw each other, all he did was stare, like he has never seen me before. We broke up our friendship two years ago, long story. Now the thing is now I regret giving him my phone number, he use to play these mind games with me long ago. He wants me to see him in a few weeks before he leaves, but I am now kicking myself over this, giving him my phone number because I believe he wants me to think about him, miss him, rehash on the memories, he hasn't called yet, which I think is a good thing, I don't know maybe I made a mistake again!!! Yet I also fear that him going in the Marine Corp, he will lose his life. So what should I do?? I am thinking about not seeing him before he leaves, but then that sounds selfish. Sigh, I hate this.
131592
i think you are playing games with your own mind. honestly, not to sound sarcastic. but in my eyes you are really overanalyzing the whole situation. just breathe, stretch, shake and let it go. relax. if he calls, he calls, if not then oh well. act on your feelings. do what feels right to you-----not what you think he'll most likely respond to.
521694
It's too late to second guess, you already mailed the letter. I wouldn't have done that, personally. I really think that if he wanted it to go past friendship, he would've let you know before; I'm sorry sweetie, but I'm afraid you're gonna end up feeling hurt and embarrassed that you did this. I would forget about having a relationship with this guy.....
70248
Dear girl,\nI am suspecting that you are quite young if you're still not backing up since your Ex told you to. I would recommend, please give it a time. I know how you feel inside. I've been there, and it felt horrible at the time. But, trust me! After a while, maybe 3 weeks, maybe 3 months, but you'll feel much better. You will get over him! And you'll wonder why you were suffering as you are right now! The possible reason for your Ex acting this way is maybe that he have found his true love. And now he doesn't want to ruin it. Probably, his new girlfriend doesn't want you guys hanging out. So, please have some dignity and let him go. Don't be surprised though, if you get a call in few years from your Ex. So, I hope that you understand what I'm trying to say. Good luck!
161241
Coming from experience, and in my case, I was engaged to someone about 14 years ago and about 2 years ago, I was in my homestate for my grandmother's funeral. I came through my ex's hometown and there was alot of unresolved issues at the time he broke off the engagement without a real reason. I decided to try to find out what his story was and to wanted to know why he did what he did. I mailed a long letter, asking the questions and searching for the answers I was looking for. He hurt me pretty badly by leaving without a real reason and he got the letter and wrote back. If you do decide to contact an old ex about unresolved issues on why your relationship ended, after you get your answers, move on. Accept the answers and accept that as closure. If your ex wants to be "friends" after the both of you aired it all out, my advice would be, don't be friends. Afterall an ex, is an ex for a reason. If you try to be "friends", old feelings will stir up, you could fall back in love with that person and you'll end up paying for it at the end. My ex wanted to be "friends" and I agreed to that but here it is 2 years later, I decided it was too late to try to be friends and realized he was never a friend in the first place. What my ex did was hurtful and I decided a while back that I didn't want anything to do with him period and I ended the friendship. I realized that he was never a friend in the first place. Get your closure, get the answers you're searching for, and move on. As for your wife, she is right, you know. Why open a bag of old wounds? You're with your wife now, stick to the present, don't look back at the past. There is really no good reasons to try to "resolve" anything. As for the ex's sexual abuse, she needs to deal with that.
580614
I'm sorry things didn't end well for you, but you mustn't make assumptions on what happened. Not all of us are heartless like that. I know I'm not. I was in love, actually am in love, with this guy who had left for the Army. Well I waited for him and never did I stray my eyes elsewhere. When he came back, I knew he might get deployed for a year or more at any time, but never one did I ever think of just forgetting about him. I would've waited for him as long as necessary. Unfortunately, it didn't work out for us, but it wasn't because of that, there were other issues. My point is, don't despair, just because one relationship went sour. I'm sure someday you'll find that girl who will wait for you as long as necessary because she truly loves you. :)
196009
well it sounds to me like he may well have liked you seeing as he was calling you 2 and 3 times a week but when he seen you with this other guy he got jealous and stopped calling,id say that is it,i mean speaking from my own experience like this one that is what happened me but it turned out she liked me,what i would do is call him up,i mean just cause hes a guy doesnt mean he has to do all the running,or you could just simply ask him out,i mean lifes too short for regrets,right?? hope that helped abit!! \nGood luck
369108
I had this same exact problem for so long and I am just now coming out of it. It is going to be very wonderful when you come out of this experience knowing so much and able to help other people with the same exact problem. First of all, I want you to think about all the time you've wasted just sitting and daydreaming about him. That's time you could have used to make your life better by doing things you enjoy and you could have made other peoples' lives better. Next I want you to ask yourself, "What has he ever done for you?" It's really hurtful to realize that you've wasted your time wanting somebody that you just can't have but trust me, you will have so much free time once you just stop thinking about him. You have to be willing to stop talking about him w/ anyone, pretty much pretending he doesn't exist anymore. Avoid listening to songs that remind you of him. With the guy that I liked, he was actually undesirable and it took me so long to realize that he just wasn't a good match for me at all. So hang in there and remember there is absolutely nothing wrong with being singe cuz you're waiting for the right guy! You deserve a guy that's young enough and that you can actually go out w/! good luck! e-mail me if ya need to!
535043
Although it may have been the ADD, also guys just want to spend time with they're guy friends. I just went through this I know EXACTLY how you feel. My guy hadn't seen his friend in over a year, i got a couple of text messages and he as well forgot to call. I was heart broken. My uncle explained to me that its not that he was ignoring me or avoiding me, it was that he hadn't seen his friend in a long time and he wanted to do "guy stuff" with his best friend. Because I spend a lot of time with my guy it was hard for me to understand that he could spend time with someone else. Anyways, I forgave him and things are back to normal, always tell him how things make you feel. keep a journal or something every time something happens write it down, you don't have to address it but if it becomes persistent then talk to him about it. It helps and he will listen. Life's too short. Love and learn. good luck.
467385
You were naive to think an older lover would pop out of the woodwork and just want to talk.\n\nHis brother is and *ss however for being so blunt. However I think he may have felt he had one shot at warning you and he took it.\n\nIf you would like to get back with your old lover for a sexual relationship again...take his calls. If not let him go.\n\nOld lovers always think of you in one way. On your back.\nI am sorry to be so blunt but it is true. And it very well could be he is without a girl friend right now and you came up.
609494
First you have to ask yourself... Is it really possible that someone I was with for over a year lost my number? I would think after being in a relationship with someone for that long they would know your number and if they truly wanted to be with you they would make the effort to find your number if they had in fact lost it. I think you should move on. It's sounds kind of strange to me and in those two months I doubt he was crying himself to sleep at night missing you. Find someone better!
537245
If you really love this guy then ignoring his calls is the wrong thing to do.  If he wants space and has asked that you give it to him, you should not call him.  But, if he calls you DO NOT ignore his calls.  The only message that sends to him is that you have given up on him.  He knows you are hurt.  He is likely hurting as well.  If you want this man in your and your daughters lives, then you need to try to work things out.  Listen to him, give him his space, don't do something in retaliation that you can't take back.  The old saying that if you love something you should set it free, if it comes back to you it will be yours forever, if it doesn't it never belonged to you in the first place comes to mind in your situation.  Ask yourself if you would rather have this man in your life (even if it is only as a friend now).  The answer to that question will guide your next actions.  Just, don't do anything in haste or it might be something you will regret for a long time.\n\nBeen there.  Best wishes.
393470
I read this book on breaking up, and it said that if you want to remain friends with someone you should cut off all contact for 60 days. Get rid of anything that reminds you of them, and I mean everything then talk to them and all of what you feel right now will either be gone or manageable. If you don't do that you will never have things go back even remotely close to how they were. I am trying it, and I miss him like crazy you really have no idea, but it's now going on 3 weeks. I have been with a guy or two sexually and that has not even worked, but me not talking to him does get easier as more days go by. Good luck.
241421
It's normal.. we all go through the same thing.. (I mean unless we had a flamin' bad break up that is!) Does the current bf know about this? ..and deal w/it? He sounds like a kool dude if so. It'd be hard, but could ya like change where ya R hangin' out, so ya 2 don't meet up? I kow it's rough if ya got the same friends, right? If ya have a bad breakup ONE of the good things about it is you got a TON of bad info. to use mentally to get over the bad dudes. I mean if he beat ya up, dissed ya, you gotta make that memory a WHOLE lot better.. (helps ya get over the hurt.) How long it been since ya broke up? It'll get better, I promise! If it's too new a hurt, I think it's kool ya got wit another guy already too.. later-     melancholia
432252
OMG!!!! i am in your shoes in the current moment!!! My guy friend of four years lives in Seattle, but is working out here in California. I so like him, but he only admires me as a friend, he loves to hang out with me, even get advise from me!!! what sucks is tht i recently told him tht i liked him & i feel weird & he's his normal self. i think tht a friend is unconditional, but we are trying to put conditions. i just think tht we have to hang in there & hope tht someone will admire us as, we admire them. sooner or later it will come!!!! Sometimes we as humans want to control, when, where & time. We just need to realize tht the time will come. We kinda have to open ourselves to the world & understand tht our love is One sided. Until then we are just hurting ourselves. they r nt the ones causing pain, we r!!!!! Be strong & hang in there. Somedays are harder than ours. But our time will come. Good Luck!!!!!
48951
I'm going through the same thing.. I want so much to wait until he comes back and he calls me off an on just to let me know that he's thinking about me.. It hurts so much... All I can say is if it's meant to be life will find its way to make it work.. but then again if it didnt workout the first time it's not meant to be. You need to move on as much as it hurts dont except his calls and keep yourself busy. If I can do it you can to your not alone so just remember that....
265784
you called him and didnt leave a message,now that is not good. leave a message. then he really wont have no excuse. if he dont get back to you, forget him. i know its hard when you like someone, but i know you would be saying the same thing to me if i had your prob. leave a message saying how great the other nite was and how you are looking forward to his cal. gud luck. x
355174
Here's our story...tell me what you think.\n\nWe originally met in 9th Grade, he was the new boy in school.  We became fast friends and soon became more than that.  We were inseperable, many crazy adventures and all that fun young love stuff.  We broke up just before the school year ended because of our friends...you know the only people you listen to when you are 15 years old.\n\nWe stayed friends over the years, going for coffe every month or so to catch up.  I had the travel bug so after high school I moved around a bit, when I was gone he met someone else and married her.  On one of my stops home I found out he had married this girl (who I knew & knew she was not a good person), I told him my concerns & in my heart I knew that if he said me wanted he back I'd go.  He didn't so I was off on my journeys again.\n\nWell when I was 31 I moved back to my home town.  As luck would have it we met up one night, he was still married to the girl but he had been living in his basement for the last 6 years and had little or nothing to do with his wife.  He was miserable. \n\nWe spent that night catching up, when it was time to go home he grabbed my hand and said he let me go once & he was never going to do that again.  He moved out the next day and we are now married and have a beautiful 3 year old little boy.  \n\nSo no, I don't worry about him leaving me for someone else.  I think it all depends on the situation, and the rest of the story.  People look for love outside of their relationships because there is usually something wrong within their current relationship.  Others are just really shallow and want a "trophy wife"...those relationships never work out.