recently i found out that my bf has been talking to a few of his female friends, one of them a LOT(even more than me).  we are in a long distance relationship and he says he is going to cut down on his contact with his female friends. but because of this situation, i have lost faith in him. i still trust him with certain things, but i don't have faith in him at all. what are some things that i can do to gain that faith back and what are some things that he can do to gain that faith back? and do you think this is something that could end a 4 year long distance relationship?
127399
first of all, dont put your faith in him or anybody else, Only put your faith in Jesus and pray about this situation and remember that everything happens for a reason.
525166
mama honestly a long distance relationship he's out doing him while your miserable wondering what he's doing those often frequent breaks of no convo are the moments in your relationship where you should\nbe doing you and not worrying about him if he really loves you he'll come back home to you you just have to be there waiting with open arms .Don't stop living for you most of us females have a tendancy to be to loyal to our mate so we don't want to do any thing to them to make them not trust us we sometimes put ourselfs in a shell so we wont touch any temptations .Girl have fun do you do be a slave to his emails or calls you have a life to and you deserve happieness also let him have his cake and eat it  \ntoo and you wont even care because you are doing you it's that lonely feeling and feeling unapriecated that has you wondering why and what's wrong trust it's not you it's him he's not on your same level or same page so he doesn't think that he's doing anything wrong it's just what he used to doing cause females put up with it be the one to make the changes and instead of following take the lead Make him play your game
538940
Appreciate that he is returning your calls and has let you know that they're HIS issues, not yours.\n\nYou've only been hanging out a month.  Depending on what he has going on, that's really not enough time to develop trust.  It happens over time, and this relationship is in it's beginning stages.  It may not be an exclusive relationship, though it sounds like it's heading that way.\n\nDon't put any more pressure on him.  He knows you're there, he knows you're concerned.  That's enough.  If you continue to call him, then you need to ask yourself "Am I really concerned about him, or am I feeling insecure because I'm not part of what's going on?"  He's having some challenges right now, and I think he's handling this appropriately.  If you're really concerned about him, then keep it about him.  Be available to him if / when he needs you.  \n\nWhat's going on with him has nothing to do with you.  Keep this situation in its proper perspective; otherwise, you will lose him before you've gotten things off the ground.
499634
communication is the key. maybe you should invite him ot your place and let him know how u feel.  if he loves you and if avoiding you is not his intention, he will comfort you and reassure you that that is not the case.  if your feelings of doubt persist after talking to him, listen! it's your female intuition. good luck....
63869
Rather than looking for an Internet site, try this: call the number from a phone that your boyfriend can't link to you. For example, a payphone. \n\nAnd really, if you can't trust enough to let him have some privacy in his social life, you shouldn't be with him. All it's going to do is create havoc on your relationship. Watch the movie "Little Black Book." I speak from personal experience, jealousy can destroy a relationship.\n\n--\n\nAddition: I spent three years with someone who cheated on me in the first year. I could never fully trust him again, whether or not my fears were correct (and they never were after the first time - he never cheated on me again). I finally had to end it after freaking out when he left his phone at my house and I discovered several videos of another girl. After the break-up he broke the news that he wanted to marry me... but I knew I couldn't go through with such a big step in our relationship when every month or so I suspected him of cheating on me again.\n\nMy biggest suggestion to you is to think about what the impact of your suspiscions and fears will have on your relationship, and if you think it is strong enough to withstand it.
459437
If you have decided to stay and forgive him then you need to put it in the past and carry on. It sounds like he is trying to regain your trust by doing the right thing. You say you forgave him, so give him a chance to prove himself to you. If you can't get past it, then it will never work. You can't keep bringing up the past forever. You need to decide if you will ever really be able to move forward. If not, then let him go.
379728
Angel is right, if you don't have trust for the man then there no salvageable relationship. Give him space, let him go to make his own decision. If he comes back to you then it's meant to be. But just make sure he's not going back and forth between the two of you.
120140
Well, all sorts of issues going on here.  For one, were you snooping around, looking for stuff, do you not trust him, has he cheated on you before?  Basically there is a trust issue here, but i'm not on the guys side, he should also be open if he's being invited to girl's parties, and he has alot of girls numbers that you don't know?  Not a good sign.  Figure out if you guys still trust each other, if not, after 4 years, get out, do your own thing, learn to trust.
665521
well its up to you, you can always turn a blind eye, but the problem is not going away.  you will always will have trust issues with your boy friend.  I know its hard when you have been with someone for four years but maybe get rid of the looser and find someone who can give you the respect and trust that you deserve.  kick his a$$ to the gutter so he can have all the affairs he want, and just move on.  Believe me, there are plenty of fish out in the sea that can treat you so much better. good luck and I wish you well. ; )
285785
It's very difficult to win trust back I'm afraid. However, if you love him and he loves you then work on it, nothing is impossible.
37019
May be try to be more open with him? Offer to share information and anticipate his questions by providing the answers outright.  If this doesn't work, then consider that fact that he may be jealous and paranoid and that whatever you do (or don't do) won't matter because it will be his version of events that he will see. Next step, I guess, would be to find out for yourself if you can have a long term relationship with your man knowing that he doesn't trust you.  \n\nGood luck!
514766
you need to deal with your trust issues before you can move forward in any relationship, your jealousy and lack of trust will only bring the relationship down, talk to a professional about the issues you have and how to resolve them, not all men cheat and sometimes you have to have faith that you are with a good guy it may be hard given what has happened before but if you do what you plan such as the testing etc you could potentially drive a good guy away all based on your baggage from a previous relationship....
59336
Calm down....Just cause your bf change his plans and does something else dosent mean he cheating. How can you sound more untrusting. I doubt he goes outta town without tellin you,im sure youknow why he goes. alot of times its a persons own thoughts that trigger insecure thoughts that causes striff and tension in relationships.  I have this same problem with my girl, she always thinks im cheating or doing something specfically to harm our relationship,like i wanna argue about things like that. Its ridiculous, I dont know if she wanna wardenize me or not, Itry to please her by telling her stuff but she complains I told her too late. Its not a problem cause I really like her and its not a big deal(as much) Sometimes you gotta choose your battles and deal with the good and the bad if you really like him/her if you generally know he not cheating. TRUST HIM ladylocks!!
393387
Long distance relationships are really tough, especially when you suspect that somebody is being unfaithful.  Because you have decreased talking to eachother I would say cut your losses, but that really depends upon how much effort the both of you are willing to put into making the relationship work (doesn't sound like a lot if you think he is cheating).  When I went away to college I was dating my high school sweetheart for about 3 years prior.  Our relationship lasted about a month after I left.  On some levels I am glad that we broke up shortly after I left because college was a different experience for me then it would have been if we had stayed together.
139804
Its hard when you are in a long distance relationship. Your insecurities seem to triple. \nLet him know how it makes you feel. Let him know that you know its just you but that you do have these feelings and ask him to be more considerate and call when he says or let you know if he wont etc.\n\nAlso get a passtime something you do just when you are worrying. \nGood luck! I know from experience it is tough!!!
265480
I remember how I felt when I left my sweetheart.  I was only able to see her once a weekend.  She lived like 20 miles from where I lived and I had to take the bus every Saturday to see her.  Man, what great times.  But at day's end, my heart hurt something fierce.  Don't feel embarrassed.  You may be afraid to lose this great feeling you have.  You don't ever want it to go away.  This is your insecurities talking.  You need to know that you are everything he wants.  Gain confidence in you and your relationship.  You possess the power.
122946
I have a similar problem in reverse. I always find that guys (some of which are my friends) have a tendency to be clingy. This rattles my cage very much, however the best thing you can do, is bring it up casually (but not passive-aggressively) in a conversation, listen to that person's response, then fill in the blanks yourself. Don't dwell on it. If it's been a long relationship (5+ months) and there have been very few or no instances of cheating, I would trust the person to not do that to you. I hope this has been of help but I am not very good at giving advice.