They mauled me for all my little chocolate eggs and took them and sold them for 3 dollars a piece to homeless persons down the street that devoured my pet chupacabra.
135179
That's awesome, they're dystopic Robin Hoods\n\nWhere do you purchase a chupacabra, goatsuckers are hard enough to find and yetis are next best thing to unicorns... dang it\n\nAnd why were you carrying the eggs around, I mean, I carry around cheese sandwiches, but...
584689
Stolen their money and treat horrible I think is more racist then here
484030
by candy and sell for 1.00
656596
Sue whomever sold them to you.
177687
When i was in Washington D.C. I gave a homeless man my $100 dollars spending money. Instead of spending it on something that would probably rot my teeth or brain. I gave it to him, because i knew he was much worse off, and needed it more then i did. and if he was lying, well who am I to judge, God will do that in the end. I was just doing my part and being nice.
48986
I wanted to be an egg in the next life, but they wouldn't let me.  My finger hit the man in the eye on the way to the yellow brick road and then we plummeted 40 feet to our deaths and both came back as squash.  Go figure.
338814
For that amount I would not only kill somebody, I would even carve them up and eat them.  Even the naughty bits.
523367
I caught the tail end of that show.  I did not know you could adopt one.  I thought the point of people not being able to keep them...was a good point also.  I did not know they lived so long.  Also the poor chimp that they took one of his vertebra's out.
333349
I thought you were an absolute plonker and they had every right to throw you off. Weirdo
437003
Mine was ok....Ate the chocolate I was suppossed to be giving to the kids.
626498
For each bambino they pop out, they get a bigger welfare check and more food stamps.\n(and you see them leaving the welfare office in a tricked-out $50,000 truck!)\n\nFreakin pitiful!
423119
I felt he was acting like a spoiled rotten brat and belitting all those around him because someone took away his teddy bear.
233932
After spending 6 months lost in the Arabian Desert on my trusty Elephant Seamus, I saw a 6 foot tall Large Mocha Latte, floating on the horizon. In my thirst I ran and jumped headlong into the frothy beverage, only to find it was a mirage. In reality, I had jumped into a Bedouin Tent, that housed the Tribal leader. After such an offense they attempted to feed me to their starved camels. But I escaped by tickling their humps and went to find Seamus. Unfortunately, the Tribal leader had already sold Seamus to a traveling Arab Circus in the area and I was forced to beat him to death with a palm frond for his insolence. I then carved a canoe and attempted to paddle my way home. This was my last mirage induced mistake, as I was over taken by the angry tribe, despite all my paddling, and stoned to death with hardend left over falafel from the worst cook in the camp. This was perhaps my 3rd worst vacation.
591398
I was walking there when a bucket of paint from above came tumbling down giving me a distinct pink colour. Thinking it wasn't so bad I decided to continue walking there only to slip on a banana peal and gracefully smacked my bum on the pavement. Getting up I realised my pants were ripped. I thought it would be a good idea to change so went into the first shop possible but couldn't find anything in pink. I bought a new suit and shirt and headed off towards the job center. Half way there a truck overturned in front of me and it spilled a ton of glue all over the place and it also hit me. Unfortunately another truck going the other way lost control so as not to hit the innocent bystanders and crashed right next to me. It was carrying feathers to the pillow manufacturing company. Looking like a chicken I told myself I would never make it alive to the job center; I got on a bus and went home trying to wash off the glue and feathers. If that doesn't work just tell them your dog ate you!
234455
Boosh and BLair evil men in my contry.
116712
The Chupacabra or Chupacabras is a creature said to inhabit parts of the Americas. It is associated particularly with Puerto Rico (where it was first reported), Mexico, and the United States, especially in the latter's Latin American communities.\n\nThe name, which translates literally from Spanish as "goat-sucker", comes from its reported habit of attacking and drinking the blood of livestock. Physical descriptions of the creature vary. Sightings began in Puerto Rico in the early 1990s, and have since been reported as far north as the Carolinas and as far south as Chile.\n\nThough some argue that the chupacabra may be a real creature, mainstream scientists and experts generally contend that the chupacabra is a legendary creature, or a type of urban legend.\n\nHistory\nThe legend of los Chupacabras began in about 1992, when Puerto Rican newspapers El Vocero and El Nuevo Dia began reporting the killings of many different types of animals, such as birds, horses, and as its name implies, goats. At the time it was known as El Vampiro de Moca since some of the first killings occurred in the small town of Moca. While at first it was suspected that the killings were done randomly by some members of a satanic cult, eventually these killings spread around the island, and many farms reported loss of animal life. The killings had one pattern in common: each of the animals found dead had two punctured holes around their necks.\n\nSoon after the animal deaths in Puerto Rico, other animal deaths were reported in other countries, such as the Dominican Republic, Argentina, Bolivia, Chile, Colombia, El Salvador, Panama, Peru, Brazil, the United States and, most notably, Mexico.\n\nBoth in Puerto Rico and Mexico, El Chupacabra gained urban legend status. Chupacabras stories began to be released several times in American and Hispanic newscasts across the United States, and chupacabras merchandise, such as t-shirts and baseball hats, was sold.\n\nThe chupacabra is generally treated as a product of mass hysteria, though the animal mutilations are sometimes real. Like many cases of such mutilations, however, it's been argued that they are often not as mysterious as they might first appear.
331269
When I was standing on a country road (waiting at an unmarked bus stop) in Italy and twelve men pulled their cars over (not all at once), thinking I was a prostitute.  They waved their wallets at me and tried to get me into their cars.  I was so upset that I was in tears, crying beside the road.  Suddenly I heard a sound, and I looked down to see two lizards running across the sidewalk.  Before I could do anything one of lizards crawled up onto my foot and started crawling up my leg.  I could feel it against the skin on my calf, so I lifted my leg and tried to shake it off, but the damn thing just wouldn't come off.  All I could think was, "Everyone thinks I'm a prostitute and I'm going to have to take off my pants to get this lizard out of them!"  So I was standing beside the road, totally crying, shaking one leg around in the air.  All the cars that were driving by were honking their horns and hollering at me... it was soooo embarassing!  \n\nAfterword:\n\nEventually the lizard got scared and crawled off my leg- it didn't get past my knee and I didn't have to take off my pants.  A few minutes later the bus came.  I swear I didn't look like a prostitute- I was wearing a sweater and dress pants!  And I had a suitcase!