thing here is that she is divorcing me to be with him she said she loves him again and she is using the child by him as an excuse to see him. bc he hasnt tried to see him in 8 years. and now all the sudden he HAS to see his son as much as possible now that he and my wife are together.  she is taking my son with her to see him too.  we have only been seperated a month.  am i wrong for not wanting my son to be around my wife's new boyfriend.....eeerrr should i say old boyfriend renewed. i am so pissed.  oh and by the way i did nothing to make her leave me and she admits it i was faithfull and loving and a great father for all you men haters out there. so this isnt my fault.  i begged her to stay.
123863
Ouch, I never thought I would say this, but you need to talk to a priest/rabbi/cleric/personoffaithhere.  I would have a problem with her taking my biological child over there, but is that what is best for your stepchild?  Seriously, seek counseling you are going to need help getting over this one, I know I would.  Peace be with you.
320373
Although I believe a child's place is with his mother, this woman doesn't deserve to have children. If I were you I would try to get full custody of the child. It is clear she will always use your son as a financial benefit for her not your son.Your son is a blessing for you, to bad for her if she can't see it. Get rid of that scumbag and devote yourself to give your child all the love that is obvious your wife can't give him.
572178
Your son is your #1 priority, despite ANY pressures you are getting from your family. You are a grown man and if you love this woman and you want to be a good father to your son, you stay with them.  It is NOT your family's choice as to what you do with your life.  It is also not your family's place to judge the woman in your life. Who do they think they are? GOD?
391666
Move on,-she already has!! Yes, this guy probably is using her, but...she's letting him.  I wish you the best! It's got to be so hard for the kids!!!
244224
Girlfriend you are a true Christian, but come on. You are going to have to confront her and let her know that she really needs to increase her circle of friends. It is commendable that you open your heart and home for your husband's ex, for the sake of your step daughter but you have to set some boundaries...because she is totally taking advantage of you. I would take her aside and  tell her Enough is Enough! You would rather her take the responsibility of dealing with the child as a parent. While you want to be there for the child you are in essence enabling this woman to pawn of the reality of her personal responsibility off to you. She obviously knows not to engage your husband so she gets in any way she can.  Think about it.
108082
Trust your intuition.  It's important and I'm glad you are picky.  She will have a huge affect on your son's life.  IF you really like someone, then maybe give her a bit more time. When my x and I split, he would let any flooz from the bar babysit.  You are right for being picky.  Your son is lucky.  But also try not to hold her to some "perfect" standard.  Your wife was not perfect either, but sounds like she was a good mom.  So good luck to you and your son.
168269
It's unfortunate that there is a third person involved because he is going to blind her and confuse her thinking.  You really need to remind her to think about the children.  This person she is seeing is not going to take her serious with two children; I just can't see that happen.  Definately discuss this issue with her as well.  She is being extremely selfish; I don't know what led you to seperate but either she wants a divorce or she doesn't.  Talking to another person is a terrible idea if she wants to make things work out with you and you have to put your foot down and asap.  Best of luck to you!! OMG!
426075
Your best bet is to get clear on what your "rights" as a parent are - remember, the mother of your child (your "ex-wife") has those same rights.  Your wife (non-mother) of your child has "no PARENTAL" rights---that's why the school could say what they did.  The school has to answer to the PARENTS of the student and, of course, the law.  The "law" guarantees the "rights."  Call your attorney and get clarification.  Invite your wife to attend a meeting with your attorney so she won't be so upset when your ex-wife exercises her parental rights because she is one of the parents.  It's good that you continue to try to smooth things over.  For your son's sake, you and his "mom" need to be on the same page.  He lives with you and his mom all the time...but with his step-mom part of the time.  I can understand that your wife is upset about the picking up at school...but let's turn it around.  How would you feel if your ex-wife had a husband that wanted to do a ton of things with your son including picking him up from school and he wanted your ex-wife to tell you off.  Sounds kinda crazy when you think of it that way, huh.  It IS great that your wife does things with your son!!!  Give her many, many thanks and praise.  Keep in mind what is best for your son and not your wife.  Giving his mom respect will do more for him than simply doing what your wife wants---but may not help you much in the cuddle department---that shouldn't make a difference though, if your wife is doing things with your son to 1) be nice because she is or 2) help take the load off of you.  If she's doing it to spite your ex-, you've got a bigger problem on your hands than you realize.  May not be answers you were looking for.  Pray about it if you pray, that is.
542521
get in there or you will regret it if she did that to me i would have no problem and would come out and ask her if she say she does not fancy you .move on. i did that to my wife and pushed the local coppers son off the post office wall and said out loud 'leave her alone shes mine and after 36 years two kids and three grandchildren it was the best move i have ever made. mind you i was pissed at the time and now this Sunday was a mad day as normal of guitars, screaming kids and the floor covered in toys and me loving every minute and loving even more when they all went home and tomorrow  i will want them all back again. one life live it and take a chance.
47569
She is using her own chilrden to get back at you.  For some reason, people do that.\n  If the new guy is spending the night, call your lawyer.  I know in my state, she'd loose custody read quick for allowing another man to spend the night, even after the divorce is finalized.  If they're not married, then he shouldn't do any over night stays.
31801
Wow I can't believe that first answer. If you guys used to have a close relationship with him, and now you don't, that is awful and heartbreaking. Obviously she doesn't want you to talk to him because you have an obvious right to really dislike her, if not worse. I would definitely try to talk to your son, and when you can, explain to him how much it hurts and that you can't understand why he is treating you like this for her. Hopefully he is just in a happy phase, will wake up and realize how dumb he is, and will then return? And dump her? I'd try that first... just don't call him 10 times a day... that can be awful...
276039
this is one of the problems you encounter when you get involved with a guy that has an ex and kids. not much you can do. you didn't say how many kids he has but..she won't be able to get away with it forever, plus when he goes to the hearing he needs to let them know how much of a hardship she is creating for him. as far as child support goes they fill out financial statements etc. eventually the divorce will be granted whether she signs or not. aside from that, who cares what she is blaming it on? that doesn't change the reality of anything so don't even worry about that, it isn't worth the energy. if you really love him very much you won't let this come between you, you knew his situation when you started dating him, no point in complaining about it now, just deal with it the best way you can. she will eventually get over it and move on, it could be a long road though so just buckle down and hang in there and make sure he fights for himself and doesn't just hand her whatever she wants out of guilt. good luck to you, it will get better!
116371
I think you should go over to her place and try to reconcile with your wife.  What was wrong in the first place?  Why can't it be fixed?  You obviously loved her before, right?  So maybe her making you come to her place is her way of saying (perhaps without her even knowing) that she wants to see you too!?
127479
As a parent, I will give you great advice as I have been there.  Stay out of it!  If you interfere, you will push them closer together because your son will want to prove that he is right in his choice and you are wrong.  If you stay out of it (as I did), he will come to realize that she isn't right for him.  He might be starting to realize it now since he is depressed and pouty...he just hasn't reached the point of ending it yet.  He might be like my son...the way he ended it was to deliberately defy her "rules".  This pushed her into ending it.  He didn't want to break it off and hurt her feelings so he did everything he knew she hated!  \n\nI know it is hard to keep your mouth shut when you know your son isn't matched with the right person but it is the right thing to do...at least until and if he asks for your advice.
335534
I'm afraid you're stuck.  In the court's view (and mine too), you helped make that child, and, thus, are responsible for helping raise him.  Your ex's response to you, however, is mean and vindictive.  Someday he will find out you are alive and wonder why she lied about you.  Continue the child support for your son's sake.  At least then you can say that in spite of the meaness of his mother, you still did everything you could to help in his rearing.  He will someday understand that it was his mother that forced you out of his life and that it was not your decision.  If you stop child support to spite her, you will hurt your son as well.  If there is to be any hope of a relationship between you and your son when he is eighteen (then your wife can not longer stop you legally), you do not want to hurt him in any way or give your ex any more fuel to use against you.  Be the better person and then stick it to her when you tell your son the truth when he is eighteen!!
13033
Wow, that's pretty messy.\nYes, a man with a kid is a package deal.  Unfortunately, the ex is part of that package.\nWhat is more unfortunate, though, is that this woman has him so tightly by the... ummmmm..... belt buckle?\nYou should not have to subject yourself to any such disappointment.  My recommendation is to have your man have some boundaries set IN COURT, because this woman has no right to give ANYone the boot, or to inspect ANYthing.  If it's YOUR house she wants to inspect, then she can do it while you're there, or not do it at ALL.  Actually, you should feel no inclination whatsoever to even ALLOW that sort of thing to happen.\nAs for your social life and appointments, you have your own life to live.  With or without a partner, with or without your boyfriend, and with or without his ex-wife's dictation.  If he's so worried about it, then he can tweak HIS schedule to work around her.  NO, it is NOT your responsibility.  Neither is it your problem, nor your fault.\nThe bad news is that if you can't live your life this way, then maybe you just need to cut it while you can, because until he decides to stand up for himself and take it to a judge, he is no better than a child himself.  Which makes it difficult to see a lifelong commitment, does it not?\nDo what you must, but I think you should tell him you shouldn't have to your life on hold for his ex-wife & her BS, and if he's not willing to realize that you needn't and you WON'T, then not only will he find himself fixing his schedule to fit, but will fix his schedule WITHOUT YOU indefinitely.\n\nOH!  I missed the preventing me from seeing my kid thing!  Yeah, that's crap.  You tell him, "No, YOU have just as much capability to do these things as I do.  It may be convenient for YOU when I pick up the slack, but it would be just as convenient for ME if you would do it yourself.  It is, after all, your responsibility." \nGirl, I think you just need to cut it, but that's just me.
234853
WELL I THINK WHAT YOU DID FOR HER AND HER DAUGHTER WAS MORE THEN MANLY. MOST MEN WOULD SAY OH WELL AINT MY PROBLEM AND WOULD HAVE STAYED. I THINK THAT YOU SHOULD STILL HAVE A RELATIONSHIP WITH THAT WOMAN IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU CARE FOR HER VERY MUCH. YOU DONT HAVE TO LIVE THERE AND SHE CAN STILL DEVOTE TIME TO HER CHILD. HAVE EITHER ONE OF YOU TRIED TO MAKE THE DAUGHTER APART OF YOUR RELATIONSHIP SO SHE WONT FEEL LEFT OUT. WE AS MOTHERS HAVE TO LEARN HOW TO SHARE OUR LOVE AND ATTENTION. TALK TO HER AND YOU TALK TO THE DAUGHTER TRY TO BE A FAMILY NOT JUST MOM'S BOYFRIEND. IN THE MEAN TIME- TAKE KARATE, GO TO THE GYM, BECOME A BIG BROTHER,DO SOMETHING YOU WILL BE PROUD OF AND STOP MESSING WITH SKANKY WOMEN JUST IN CASE YOU AND MOM GET BACK TOGETHER