i think my boyfriend is going threw depression. (we are only 18) he is graduated this year and very lost on what to do and he keeps telling me hes "going to be a bum, has no special talent, and is worthless." but of corse i dont think thats true. i try to encourage him but im running out of words of encouragement. Please give me some advice on what to do. I just want him to be happy.
135107
reassure him that he has a future...be there for him and encourage him to apply himslef at something that he enjoys doing...he really needs your support right now
535408
you mean to tell me that for 1 1/2 years he never complimented you?and your still with this guy? whatever! do ya know if he even likes himself? low self esteem? there definitly is a problem here and bound to become a major issue, do you know if this guy has any love for himself to begin with? because you can't expect him to show you love if he dont love himself, you can always assure him that you are not like those he had to grow up with, that you see something in him that no body in his family does, and that you wont blame him when things go wrong, and ask him to  drop his gaurd and let you in,  tell him you not going to hurt him that you just want to help begin the healing process, teach him that if he looks past all those previous negative judgements, he will find some one that he never knew existed, some one I'm sure he'd like, just understand that those who  not by shoice had to  grow up in that type of atmosphere, will  only know rejection and to feel like they could never be nothing. he should start by feeling lucky that he's got you!  Good luck to you both!
262451
people become complacent, stagnant, we take each other for granted and get into routines, we forget what it was like with out the other person...talk to him, tell him you are sad and depressed and want to reignite the flames that got you started to begin with...if he doesn't listen or take you seriously, you have to  make him listen, by leaving...that may wake him up
158121
i do have this experience...it is not a good one... the only thing i  know to tell you is that you should try to talk to him about how you really feel. it worked for me...
476043
Be honest, if he doesn't understand he's not worth it.  If he loves you he will support you and respect you for trying to improve yourself.  Don't ruin your future for a man!!
189808
i am so there and have been there for soooo long. i feel for you. and i am married and he gets mad when i flip out and have an anxiety attack or cry for 6 hours straight. Once he finds out I haven't been taking the med he thinks I dont WANT to get better. Depression is the most isolating thing in the world. counselors take forever to get around to telling you that they cant really help...it sucks. But hang in there and I recommend you get a personal relationship with Jesus. The after life is our only hope. Suicide sends you to hell. Hang in there, be strong and know that there will come aday when you and I and so many others will feel  better- for eternity. If you are dont believe I hope you will at least give it a chance. If you do, i hope you will know the devil causes the bad stuff, not God. (I struggle with that, but in my heart I know it is true...) Add me to your messenger if you want to talk ever country_grl_ky  I swear when I read your question I was like "wow. that is me, exactly" Best of luck to you either way and please hang on to the hope. I know when most days are bad, it is so hard to keep on going knowing you have "never" been happy and thinking you arent normal or that you might never feel happy....but it is not true. And try to take your medicine. I do the same thing and I dont know why either. But we should take it.
418737
Yeah, like the guy above me said, this isn't a chat room, it's an open forum for the exchange of information between members about many different subjects, but not for exchanging personal information.\n\nGo to a chat room in either Yahoo Messenger or AOL Instant Messenger and find people either who you know or people who are talking about the same things you are talking about.\n\nWith depression, don't spend too much time on the computer because it will only keep you back from confronting your problems and fears and actually getting the help you need.\n\nI have depression too, so I can tell you with some confidence that you are lucky, yes lucky, to have this problem at only 13 years.\n\nAt least at your age you don't have to worry about going to work or college, supporting a family, paying your bills, or driving a car while being on meds and feeling down all the time.\n\nThe key for all people with depression is talk.\n\nTalk 1st with your family, then your friends, then people on the web, and if you don't feel that any of these people are trustworthy or considerate enough for you, ask your parents to set an appointment for a psychiatrist, or better yet, go to the one at your school if your school has one.\n\nMost importantly, talk to God, i.e. pray.\n\nGod has gotten me through the worst part of my depression and He will do the same for you if you let Him; have faith in Him and He will not let you down, just have faith and patience.
256186
Well, her boyfriend is a loser if he's breaking up through a freaking note! That should give her a lot of comfort knowing he's lame.  Just letting her know you're there for her and if she needs to talk or just needs someone's shoulder to cry on you're there.  Sometimes people need someone to listen to them or just be in the same room without anyone talking.  Also, Ben & Jerry's icecream is the BEST cure ever.  Have a girs' night out when she's ready.  Let her know life isn't over and that her boyfriend is the one who is at loss! Who writes notes to end an important relationship?? Like I said, his loss.
435099
You need to talk to him about this. The key to a good relationship is COMMUNICATION!\n\nYou need to tell him this has got to stop, or you will need to move on from him. You MUST tell him how you feel, and you have to both come to a conclusion on what to do. \n\nDon't lsiten to the people who will answer and tell you to get rid of him. You need to talk about this with him, and maybe get couples therapy. Perhaps he is even depressed?  \n\n- Hope this helps
601348
i can understand what you mean as there was something similar that happened between me & my boyfriend but cuz of different reasons...but it was my boyfriend who was in your position & i was on the receiving end...its very tough when someone you love says that they can no longer be with you for whatever reasons...just because we love each other so much, we try to understand & do what the other wants even when thats not something we really want...our mind accepts the situations & tries to adjust but our heart just doesnt wants to let go...you imagine all the things that can go wrong & also how tough your life would be without that person...this feeling of insecurity & depression is terrible...you also began to question that whether that person really loves you, cuz if yes than how can that person take such a harsh & insensitive decision...all this is just a matter of your emotions & you imagine everything thats positive or negatve...when this happens you try to take yourself away from that person & try to act tough cuz you dont want that other person to know that after saying that you understand, you have so many questions going on in your mind...this happened with me & though i really love my boyfriend i was still hurt tremendously by his decision to break up even when i agreed & understood his reasons...i think your boyfriend also is really hurt by whatever happened...its good that you plan to go back to him...i would suggest that you talk to him & try to get out all the pain he is carrying in his heart cuz of what happened...you'll have to shower unconditional love to make him feel secure with you again...treat him nicely, spend time with him & appreciate his presence in your life...just let him know that you belong only to him & there's no one who can love & understand you the way he does...i am sure you'll be able to do that cuz you truely love him...Goodluck!!
135963
You need to follow your heart, first and foremost.  From what you are saying, it sounds to me like you and your boyfriend are already done, but you just dont have the guts to end it.  The sooner you do end it the better it will be.  Dont keep putting yourself and him through the pain, just tell him that it is not working for you anymore.  You deserve to be happy and it sounds like you will be with the 30 yr old so I say go for it!
673632
Of course you are depressed. Don't be hard on yourself. Your boyfriend leaving you for one of your friends is a double betrayal. If she was really a friend, she would never have paid attention to him and she wouldn't go out with him out of loyalty to you. If they started being together behind your back, that's even worse. If you are suicidal, go to a therapist immediately!! Try to go out for walks instead of eat. Eating and sleeping too much will get you more depressed. I know it's hard, but you have to force yourself to get out. Exercise is the best way to start getting over the depression. Also, talk about the problem with a trusted friend or a therapist. It helps to talk and get feedback from others instead of going over and over it in your mind. You need new information in your head; like maybe it was for the best if it got two disloyal and self-centered people out of your life. Take very good care of yourself right now. You deserve it!
98195
I have been there...not exactly in the same circumstances but at 19 My relationship finished and i know the pain you are going through, i really do..it hurts so so much and you feel that there is nothing left for you...i am now ten years older and since my split up with that boyfriend, when i was 19, i have done so much with my life..much more than i would ever have done if i had stayed with him...i have more friends now...have had lots more boyfriend...have had an excellent time... going on girly holidays...travelling...meeting new people...i sometimes wish i could go back in time and tell my 19 year old self how wonderful my life was going to be...I can't do that but i can guarentee that your life will get better and better... you will get to know yourself better, you'll do different things, you'll get excited when you have a crush on some one new...believe me, it will happen i never thought it would when we first split up but i then went on to fancying someone different nearly every month...it was great fun. I am all settled down living with a boyfriend now, all grown up..but i look back on that time and smile..it was great...it will be hard for you but look to the future...don't let him string you along... get yourself dressed and go out with some friends...be with people you like. Life is great, you can make it great with out him. Hope this helps xxx
455018
I think it is good so far. You are telling him how you feel. Explaining in detail where you are finding issues in your relationship that has gone wrong. Also I think writing sometimes is the best way to explain things. Every thing is right there to read and the person reading can't change it around. It's right there in black and white. Good luck to you. I hope that you are able to smile again.
430665
I am going through exactly what you are going through as well. My girlfriend just left me because she was not sure she loved me either. All I can tell you is that it is going to hurt really bad. There will be some days you cannot breathe because of the pain it causes. The only thing I can tell you is that you need to find two very important things: First, you have to find something creative to take out your frustrations upon. While focusing on your studies can help, it really does nothing. Write, draw, sing, dance, do something to get it out of you. Second, this is going to sound very out there, but you need to find a place where you are happy. For me, it is in the rain. I love being in the rain. There I have no problems and I just smile. It can be physical or in your mind, but you have to find that place. Go there every so often and just enjoy yourself. It will make you feel better. Meditation can help too.\n\nAs for your boyfriend: I think that if he is going to get pissed about something as dumb as myspace, you may need to really take a look at him and ask "What the fuck?"\nAlso, if he loves you, which I think he does or he would not bring this drama into it, he might comeback. I am not going to tell you to move on. It is not that easy. What I am going to tell you is to stay strong, and have faith that you are not only a good person, but good things will come to you in this life. You just gotta have faith.
547775
Your not depressed , your just going through that teenage adjustment stage. There is no reason for you to have a boyfriend that will hold and kiss you at this point in your life. Do not fall in with the crowd. If its a real relationship you want, those unfortunately don't happen at 14. Give yourself time, throw yourself in to your studies and get a hobby. Do something you enjoy.  Good luck, things will get better
634562
Not sure if I am the right person to answer this question, but if he doesn't want to try anything to work out the relationship, then there is nothing more you can do. My mom went through the same thing and nowadays she is a brand new woman. Ofcourse she was depressed for years, until she decided to get out and find herself! She loves life now. No man or issues to hold her down. She dates (which I'm sure you're not ready for yet) but she has also made many more girlfriends, rides a motorcycle and generally has more fun than anybody I've ever seen.\nUse this as an opportunity to break free from what was holding you down: want to please him, want to be with him, want to do for him. \nTime to please you! Find yourself. Be a proud woman!\nYou don't need a man to hold you down. Get reacquainted with that inner child you left behind long ago.\nGod bless.