This afternoon, my boyfriend was doing the dishes, he had soap suds all over his hands, so i came up behind him, and pulled his pants down, and ran. \n\nwhat have you done to your spouse/partner, that is so irratating, but funny as anything?
138963
i like to pinch my hubby's nipples.. it drives him crazy.. lol
352096
I've never heard of anything like this before......before we started that aspect of our relationship my (now) husband got blue balls and felt really sick and chills and such.....maybe you hold out so long that that happens to you.  I am so sorry to hear that!
84223
bite me    you rule for having the courage to ask this question,  i was in this jam myself earlier on in my marriage,  then i asked someone how to make this happen and the advice was do housework, like dishes and laundry and vacumning,  and on days when i do this it makes my life easier\n\nthe last two mornings i have done dishes before i left for work,\ntremendous change of attitude when i get home\n\nthink about it
245976
Hey sista! It happened to me and it was quite bad with no sound of music or anything, i felt like the whole world had heard it! I was quite conscious about it for a while and then i gave it a thought....\nDon't we all fart every now and then? so what if it happened at the wrong time for me? if the guy loves being with me, he should reason all this out for himself rather than me giving him some covering explanation.\n\nWe never talked about it but continued with our relationship, after about a year the same thing happened to him and we just laughed like crazy about it.\n\nDon't worry, be yourself. Things will improve on their own. \nDon't try too hard, coz that way it will look more awkward.
484967
STORY TIME!\n\nFirst shower at boot camp. Newly formed company. We are all madly rushing around trying too get ready too stand on the line. (inspection) Guy walks into the shower area with the eighty odd rest of us. He's not swinging big junk. His junk is just impossibly large. A hush goes over the lot of us. He stops and says "What? Can't a man have a big d**k with out it being cause for alarm? What?" That was the end of it.\n\nCoolest responce too an awkward situation I've ever come across.
284897
i went to the gym with a friend and saw a cute guy.\nhe winked at me and i thought "Wow HE winked at ME"\n..."ME!" i mean he was so hot. anyway i got on the tred, and one more thing my pants were a little big, and started running kind of slow then the cute guy gets on the tred next to me and smiles at me. so then i was going to impress him so i started to go faster all of the sudden i noticed that i was running on level 10 and was running really fast! Suddenly i trip on my pants fall off the tred and now my pants are hanging off my butt with my underwear!!!  the whole gym was starring at me. my friend helped me up and belive me i never went back to that place again\n\nHOW Embarrassing!!
236290
Yeah it's an alright joke.... but this one's better I reckon\n\nA husband and wife had a small child, so for when they discussed makin' lurv, they used the codeword "washing machine" instead of sex.\n\nSo one night at about 2 in the morning the husband's feeling all randy, so he gently shakes his wife...\n\n"uhhhh, it's late what do you want?"\n\n"Washing machine" he whispers.\n\n"Washing machine? I'm half asleep, go back to bed!"\n\n"Pleeeaaasssee honey??" pleads the husband.\n\n"Argh! I'm serious Jack, I've got a busy day tomorrow so go back to sleep." and with that she rolls over.\n\nAbout 10 minutes later she's still awake and starts to feel bad, so she rolls over and nudges him...\n\n"Alright, I'm awake. Washing machine?"\n\nThe husband snorts awake and replies, \n\n"Huh? Oh... don't worry. It was a small load, and I did it by hand..."
374418
I love this question because I like telling this story. We had only been dating for a few months and we had gone by his house so he could change clothes and he was in the bathroom on the toilet doing his business with the door open and I was in the next room and we were talking back and forth and suddenly he said "Hey why don't we get married?".  And I said okay, and we were married one month later. So my boyfriend was taking a poop when he asked me to marry him. LOL...\nThe best part is that on December 10, we will have been married 35 years and he is my best friend and my love. And yes, we still talk while he is on the toilet.
30962
Gee, let me count the ways...\n\nHow about having batteries and birth control pills falling out of your carry-on while stuffing it into the overhead bin right into the lap of a good looking guy? (Luckily I was in Europe and hoped that they look so different there he didn't know what they were- the pills that is)\n\nHow about going to an amusement park with 2 guys and riding a water ride, then getting so soaked that my pad washed out all over my pants?\n\nOr my personal favorite- I was on my computer at work, and was waiting for my husband to pick me up.  I saw him out of the corner of my eye come up behind me, yep, same khaki pants- and I rubbed the inside of his thigh & said just a minute while I finished typing.  I turned around- IT WAS MY BOSS.  Yes, 10 years later and I still work there!\n\nDon't worry about making fun of me- I am just posting this to help some poor schmuck laugh at themselves more.  I certainly have learned to!
657997
okay, this is really gross too.  I have a friend (yes really, a friend, not me) that went on a blind date.  She was having a great time and really liked the guy and was trying for a second date.  Well that afternoon (before the date) she was feeling a little "irregular" so she took a laxative.  So by the end of the date she had been "holding it in" if you know what I mean.  The guy pulls up in front of her house and you know the usual first awkward kiss is supposed to happen. but instead my friend farted spraying poop everywhere.  All over herself, the seat and the upholstery in the car which I might add was beige!  Needless to say the second date never happened.  Oh yeah,  did I mention she was wearing white?
623962
i just received this joke from a text message..\n\nthere is this boyfriend and girlfriend..\nbf: "hon, let's do 69!"\ngf: "what is 69?"\nbf: "it's easy.."\n\nthen they positioned theirselves..\nwhile in that position, the boy farted 4 times..\n\nthen the girl reacted and said "omg! i cant do this anymore! i cant take anymore the remaining 65!"\n\nlolz..
581045
Threw my best friend down the stairs and in to the cooker.\n\nI WAS YOUNG, OK?!\n\nShe is now my fiancee!
62092
lol my hubby took his best friend with him to pick some out for me because he was too embarrassed to go by himself...I treasure the thought because I know how hard that was for him to do that.\n\nWhen he has gone on his own I got flannel PJ's with animal prints on them. LOL So I knew he had help with the sexy stuff.
332391
I once grabbed my then boyfriend's father's butt and started kissing the back of his neck.  As i looked over his shoulder..i saw my boyfriend outside looking at us with a puzzled expression. I thought he was my boyfriend!  His whole family thought it was very funny.  I did not!!
106987
I've totally been there. It sounds weird to people that haven't, but it takes some getting used to. Don't think he's weak, or trying to trick you...just appreciate & enjoy it. What did I do? Well I married him!
485419
We had just stood in formation for 45 minutes during a ceremony to name a permanent regimental commander and command sergeant major.  I had a lot of water before the formation and I really had to go.  \n\nAfter we were dismissed my buddy and I went to the PX to go get some lunch, so we ordered our food, dropped it at a table, and both rushed to the latrine.  There were 3 stalls and 2 urinals.\n\nMy buddy was ahead of me and he went into the far stall.  I went to the urinal, but some really old guy went to the second stall.\n\nWell the old guy had some sort of problem and made some thunderous sounds on the toilet, to which my buddy remarked "Good Lord you have got some cannon fire over there," thinking that it was me next to him in the middle stall.\n\nI didn't know what he was talking about at first, but then I guess the smell got to him and he said "Oh my God, dude, you reak!  I think I am going to be sick."\n\nThe old guy then let loose with some thunder and there was a lot of plopping.  At that point I was laughing so hard that I couldn't breathe, even though I wanted to tell him it wasn't me.\n\nSo he flushed the toilet at about the same time as the old guy and they both exited the stall at the same time.  The regimental commander was the old guy.
177470
My husband once took his day off and cleaned the entire house.  I'm not talking just picking stuff up and moving clutter around.  He broke out the cleaning supplies and deep scrubbed the apartment.  It doesn't sound like a very romantic thing, but trust me it was an amazing thing from my husband and for me.