they are not gay but are very close friends. my husband puts his friends needs ahead of mine. they go away on trips overseas and say that it would be too expensive for all of us to go. when i asked him to make a choice between us he said " don't ask that because you won't like the answer.
135204
eeek! what a monster! Won't take his wife overseas? What kind of husband is that? What kind of vows did he make? What's to like/love about this fool? I won't even suggest marriage counseling bec he's more than just plain ignorant about the hubby-wife relationship - he's cruel.\n\nGet out honey. you deserve better. If it's too expensive for all of you to go, then it's too expensive for him to go.\nNot taking his wife along!?! what a sh*tbag! File for divorce, darling. Kick his dumb A** to the curb!
172822
It should be up to the men who serve with them. It's probably a homophobic attitude but I would never feel comfortable serving with a homosexual. Not when you have to live with them day in and day out. And if you didn't feel comfortable with the squad your in, you would compromise the efficiency of the unit therefore every ones lives would be more at risk. And you can say what you want in reply to that, it is my view, not yours.
248905
It depends a lot on the people.  I have 2 friends who live very far away.  The first got married, had a kid, & has changed a lot since moving.  So, naturally, our friendship has changed & we aren't as close, even though we have nothing against each other & would still be there for each other in a crunch.\nAs for the other one, he & I are actually closer since he moved away.  We stay in touch, talking at least once a week, & plan to take a cross country road trip next year.  He & I are both unmarried, have no kids, & are career-oriented, so our continued similarities probably help maintain our friendship.\nHe has noticed this as well, because he isn't as close to some people he used to be really close to in the past.  As some of his friends have gotten married & had kids, they don't seem to have time for him anymore, & have less in common.  With their focus on their families, they have less to talk about with guys who are still hanging out & chasing girls on the weekends.
274505
This is a firestorm of a question, and I'm sure to get washed out in the chatter, but I do need to raise a point. It is all too common to have a gay person sick in the hospital, unable to make decisions for him/herself, and the partner, who might have been with him or her for many years, is not allowed to make the decisions. Instead, an estranged family member makes the calls, who might harbor hate for them (a homophobe?) or might have come to terms with that, but is now wracked with guilt and will not let go (thus keeping the person alive beyond their wishes at great cost, probably to the partner who cannot make choices). I see allowing gay marriage as the more morally defensible position.
416895
There's really not much you can do, since you probably won't change your other friends' minds about this situation.  However, they might be hurting because they feel like they've been betrayed - maybe they think that this person they thought they knew isn't the person they thought he was at all.  Maybe calling him names is their way of venting this frustration.  If this is the case, maybe you could talk to them about how hard it is to admit one's sexual orientation, especially when family relationships are at stake, that there was a reason he had to keep it a secret.  Make sure you keep supporting your homosexual friend, because with all of the opposition (especially the family opposition), he really needs you right now.  If these people can't accept your decision to remain friends with this person, then they probably aren't friends worth keeping, if they were ever really friends at all.  In any case, I don't believe in homosexuality myself, but I hope that you and your friend are able to find peace in resolving this situation.
131179
I think your wife if still trying to grow up.  I don't think she understands the MAGNITUDE of her decision to become married.  This may be cause for concern because it's not a good idea to make out with your wife and her friends, and still think you'll keep the same relationship.  You may need to sit her down and let her know that this behavior makes u uncomfortable.
356233
So what.  Friendship should not have that kind of boundary.  I unfortunately seen what has happened when something like this happened.  My ex-husband always said "I don't know what I would do if he found out one of his friends was gay."  Well back in 84 we found out my brother (his best friend) was gay.  He shut down most of the communication with him, and after we divorced he never spoke to him again.  He threw out a 25+ year friendship over my brothers sexual preferance for no reason.  My brother never came on to him or brought any "dates" around when they were room mates.  Don't throw it out, it hurt my brother till his death 2 years ago to loose a close friend because he was honest.  So what if he is Scots, sexual preferanc is not set by ancestry.  Accept him and let him know that you will still be his friend, also be there for him to talk to, he will have a difficult road and any support even to just listen he will appreciate.  Not only that you will learn more about him (mentally) by doing so.
200100
u r a guy,u r human. Dont get me wrong, I am not condoning what happened but man, sometimes one yeilds to temptations and prices have to be paid. So  with this baby on the way, it is obvious at some point of ur duble life ur wife will have to know then u will find out if u can keep both, either or neither.So u don't have to decide now. Just ride with it. The decision will be taken out of ur hands once demands cannot meet up with ur supplies.
68224
Kukm kum you donot say why your family donot accept him?\nIf they have a real reasons that is ok but thier reasons are silly go with your man
100574
No, it's certainly NOT okay. I think it is inappropriate for your wife to be spending a great deal of time with a male friend. If they have any reason to be discussing things quietly together (as you explained), they should do it in your presence or include you in the conversations. I think you should trust your gut instinct on this - you know it's wrong for her to be involved with this guy, but you probably hate to stir things up with your wife by complaining. Is there anyway you could learn to like him, accept him as a friend? If not, then you need to tell your wife how you feel. \n\nAs Princess Diana mentioned once...a marriage becomes a bit crowded with 3 people in it. It's meant for two. (who have become one...)
618889
I think everyone is a little bit gay... and everyone's curious, even if they don't admit it.  I say do what you want to do.  No regrets.  As long as you don't hurt anyone else in the process, go get yours.
162556
You are in a tough position.  And although I do not want to be the one to say this to you (you have probably heard it from someone already), if your relationship is at the point where he will believe something that a friend tells him over what someone he is in a close sexual relationship with, you know where you stand.  Once there is a shadow over the trust bond a couple shares, it is very hard to get past that.
189259
its a different kind of relationship...friendships are wonderful with gay men but it will never be the same as a boyfriend
209881
it is because if you are taken then they don't have to make a commitment. some will also tell you the things they feel you want to hear to see if you will leave your fiance or husband. if you are engaged or married then you shouldn't be talking to other guys in any way that they should think of anything as a challenge. i am married to a very loving man that will do anything in his power for me. he has been there for me at times when my own family wasn't, but i started talking to a guy just as friends and was really comfortable around him. then he started telling me all the things i wanted to hear, and next thing i knew he was telling me he loved me. i ended up leaving my husband and my home to be with this guy. then i realized i made a huge mistake. i am very Lucky to have a husband that forgave me and took me back. be careful out there because men are dogs. most of them are only after one thing anyway.
658022
Sounds like they both have baggage. Its time to find a new circle of acquaintances. Two guys are not a large enough sample to decide on anything long term. These guys are not in love with you, they are in love with your sex. The first always has a special place but there are very few first and only true loves.
382392
There is nothing cultural about it.  You must talk to your husband and your husband must not make such friends and invite them at home.  He has lust for your body only.  He wants to taste you and then fly away.  In other words he wants to get you in sinful life and spoil your home life.  Treat such people sternly with the help of your husband.
254728
Hi, this is a very complex situation, and you have explained it very well.  Your friend who is 15 and gay, has a non-sexual relationship with a 21-year-old gay man.  Your concern is for your friend because he has a "crush" on this man, but the man is "not interested' (sexually?) in your friend.  So to begin with all the "against the law" answers are wrong. Unless a physical relation is part of the equation even our puritanically demented society has not passed a law forbidding friendship between people of different ages.  If it did organizations like Big Brothers and Sisters would have to stop their excellent work.  Through out our lives, it helps to have a "mentor."  Someone who is a bit more experienced than ourselves who can help us through some of the "passages" of life.  This cannot always be a parent, no matter how much we may love our parents, because a parent has different concerns (our safety) and often sees us a "child." To have a slightly older friend, who has gone through some life experience and can share and encourage is important.  Having said this, your concern is is for your friend, in terms of his feelings (crush) and the 21-year-old for his "life" and reputation.  I think your concern shows you to be a caring individual and true and good friend.  Hopefully we are always ready to listen to the people like you in our lives.  Have you calmly expressed your concerns to your friend in a way as clear as your question here?  If you have, and he still wishes to pursue this relationship then there is not much you can do.  I think the best "advice" you could give to your friend is to point out the Issues involved: 1) The 21-year-old is (according to you) uninterested, uninitiated (a virgin) and would suffer the "legal" consequences of any physical relationship - so is your friend ready to "accept' these "boundaries" to the relationship? 2) Can your friend pursue a friendship without a physical relationship (his crush?) Can he control his own feelings?\nOnce you have helped your friend clarify the situation and his responsibilities, then you can only support him in whatever decision he arrives at.  \nI would only add that a non-sexual "mentoring" relationship, while important for everyone, is especially important for gay and lesbian youth.  Most people have "models" of what they want and need to become in their parents, teachers, social heros, etc. But gay people grown-up largely without any models, without anyone who can say, "I did this, you can too."  So even though your friend sounds like a confident young gay man, with a loving family and wonderful supportive friends such as yourself, he may still need an "older" model that he can talk to about things and try to follow - always given the non-sexual, non-exploitive nature of the relationship.  Good luck.