he dont make me love with kindness, and he dont say what it heart feel, just scream and all the time its angry, theres 3 months ago he lost a son in the last marriage, and just said there its so anfaer cause he loves him too much, I dont know what to do, I`m so desperate and I`ready leave him, I`ve 2 kids of him, and I got one of my last relation ship, so please I need help, sometimes I think that he dont really need us,and its so hard for my kids too, cause I`l see them bad, for us he`s right now in another city, and I miss him, but I think there is much better like this tell me Ia`m alright in my decition?
119108
It's time to move on with your life. Leave the moron because once the respect for each other has dissipated the relationship is history. Sorry.
97740
Hey girl...this sucks.  Been there done that.  Questions, questions, questions...  You should always know that when you date a guy that has baggage like that to be prepared to sacrafice.  I am impressed with the fact that he was still into a relationship with his x and kids because that shows his willingness to still let the kids have some normalcy.  I can understand how hard this was for you, and maybe it just wasn't meant to be.  Now, if he was just keeping in touch so he could be close to his x, then you are much better off pulling out of that fight, than staying and losing, which would've happened eventually.  Maybe you should give him a call if he is as great as you say he is, and thoroughly explain to him what's been bothering you.  Tell him exactly how you feel about him, and THEN, go on to how you were feeling when you broke it off. If you guys try to repair the relationship, ask if maybe you two could do some things with the kids alone...no x involved.  Start building a relationship with them.  The kids are going to be there always, and the x too at times.  But, you two should be building a relationship outside of the x with the kids. That is respectful to you, and your relationship with the father. I believe in honesty.  It has bit me in the rear a few times, but at least I could sleep at night.  Best Wishes.
512709
Sweetie,,I am in your shoes as well..I have been a Mom and Dad to my 10 yr old daughter,,and for the first few yrs (we have been apart for 8 yrs) I kept asking myself "Am I not doing enough? " You fell in love with this "man" and you are doing your part 150 plus percent...there are some guys out there that love the marriage part,but not the parenting.This is a lesson we have all got to learn,and yes,I know it hurts bad,especially since you are carrying and your hormones are on a ride right now,but you are still entitled to feel hurt.And I know it is exhausting to be both parents to those lovley kids you have..but look at it this way..you have the undying love of those kids which outweighs the love that any man could think of mustering up..you are doing a great job..and just because he does'nt act like he cares..it is not the end of the world..you will heal from his heartache..and you are sure to find someone who loves you for you AND your children..good luck to you..be strong..and it's ok to cry...I sometimes still do..but over the years..the crying is more happy tears than sad.
112783
Stop worrying about him for a second and let him work things out in his own way.  Get yourself back together.  Losing a child is such a traumatic thing that you shouldn't even worry about what he feels right now.  It is about you and how you feel.  \n\nNow as a man, and this is strictly opinion, he may be hurt and doesn't know how to deal with it.  Believe it or not, we deal with loss harder than woman do because of the stereotypes we have been exposed to.  Give him time and just maybe he will WAKE UP.  \n\nUse this time to reconnect with family and friends and get you some help because the miscarriage will effect you for the rest of your life.  Understand you don't need any more stress in your life at this time, so look at the hubby being away as a blessing.  \n\nIf he doesn't come to his senses, then you have to do what you have to do.  But your focus should be solely on you at this time, and not the marriage.  I understand it took two to create the life you just lost, but it will be on you to get beyond this for now.\n\nMy prayers go out to you in your time of need\n\nWT
302036
im soo sorry to hear that. im kinda in the same boat here but im not married and hes never put his hands on me or he knows he will get it back twice as much. but he says really nasty things to me and i no i cant take it ne more and i have a 6 month old son with him as well and i wanna leave to i understand its hard cuz i cant get myself up and get my stuff packed either i no how u feel i dont wanna take my son away from his father but i no in my heart what needs to b done but its hard to do it but ill let u no one thing if he HITS U THAN hunnie u need to leave right away if ure afraid of him find a place and do things slowly soo he doesnt find out what is goin on than when hes at work u can finally leave but call the police to have extra help. if u need sumone to talk to u can message me ne time and i can help u
366628
sounds like the two of you have grown apart. to keep a relationship strong, you have to spend time together and he needs to spend time with his son as well. I'm sorry for your situation but if this continues, maybe you need to move on and find someone who will put you and your son's feelings first. love is putting the other person first.
114917
i know this is a hard situation, but think of the kids. if he doesn't want to see them and doesn't even feed them when they go, don't send them.  it will be very difficult for them but in time they will see that he is very bad for them and they are better off without him.  kids are resilient, be strong and be there for your children and love them a little extra to fill the void in their lives they may feel at the moment.  god bless and my prayers are with you and your children.
16268
I would talk to him and see if he is willing to go to counselling and try to work out this issue, try and see if the relationship can be salvaged , don't give too easily( unless he is abusing you, then get out of there, NOW) but if he's just a jerk then let him know how you feel and as i suggested  counselling and if this doesn't work then you really need to make a decision becuase you don't want to be unhappy and you don't want to teach your kids that it's ok be in this type of relationship, at least if you seek help to salvage the relationship and you honestly tried to make it work and it didn't , you can walk away from it and you can say to yourself that you honestly tried to make it work and you won't have any regrets.
207030
I am so sorry!  I know this has to be painful and devastating.  Did you suggest marriage counseling to him?  If you have and he refuses, then he really doesn't want to work it out....which means he has someone else or wants to be "single" again.  If you haven't suggested it, please do.\n\nIf he feels this way and refuses to seek help, then you would be further ahead to divorce him.  It will be too traumatic to your kids and you to try to save a relationship where one of the parties doesn't want to save it.\n\nI hope you can find some true happiness for your children and yourself.
358718
When you hold your feelings inside, that makes you feel miserable. Two things you could do, one is confront him right away so you won't carry it around with you so long. Second, talk to a  good trusting friend about your situation. If he's left you 3 times, I would try to forget him and move on with my life. Remember one thing, love alone doesn't keep you happy. If your young, you may not see it that way, but when you get older, you will regret it. I know I've been there.
140327
Out of respect for his baby and his wife... leave him alone. You will always be number 3. He is using you and betraying you. How could you allow someone to treat you like that?
270023
Well,as much as I hate to say this,but i think that you should brake up with him.Don't get too offensive,but you do realise that you are braking a family?I think that you should find someone better,someone that you can enjoy spending time with,someone you could relaxe with,and let him go.If he loves his children so much,he should be with them.Stay friend with him.But find someone else that you feel comfortable with.because,I suppose you don't feel too comfortable with that man,knowing that he has a wife and children? Move on,turn a new,fresh page.
244760
I am so sorry about your PPD.  It's rough.  Do not, for one instant, allow yourself to think that you are at fault.  When something happens to one of you, it happens to both.  You are supposed to be "ONE".  He abandoned you in your time of need - he should have backed you up and been there.  He wasn't.  He went for the easy out and that's not what you deserve.  I don't want to get all religious on you, but here goes:  A man is supposed to treat his bride (his wife) like Christ treats His church.  Do you feel that you were given that?  Is he true to his vows or is he just out for himself?  I would suggest that you get therapy - either with or without him.  Preferably with.  But I know that it's not also possible with finances and insurance these days.  But sometimes you can find someone to help you sort it all out that won't cost an arm and a leg. \n\nJust think about this:  Your son/daughter will see how you are treated.  They will probably (not always) go on to treat their spouse the same way.  Do you want to continue this cycle or break it?  Do you want better for your child?\n\nI am so sorry that you had to go through PPD and had to do it alone - because face it...you were deserted.  \n\nAn affair is an affair is an affair- whether emotional or physical.  The time and consideration he gave this other woman should have gone to you in your time of need.
279084
HE DOESN'T LOVE YOU!!!!!!   and there is nothing wrong with you!!!!  I'm sorry if this will hit you hard, but from what you are saying something is definetly wrong with this guy, and he is just using you!!   If he is telling you to get away, then you may need to make some Big changes with yourself and your baby
450503
I feel for you, you must be broken at the moment, but sadly I think he has made the decision not to be with at the moment for himself and wants to pull himself together on his own. I would ask him once if there's anything you can do to help, if so than he needs you as a support, if not, back off but ask after him to show you care until he's ready to share his life again, good luck.
207550
My dear.. The first thing to do is talk to him about how you feel when you are both relaxed and the problem is behind. Don't confront him immediately after what happened. You have to also assess how much you love him and how much he loves you. If you think the love is still there, then give it a chance and talk about what you like and what he likes and come to a compromize. However, if you feel that the love part is missing, then don't waste both of your times and put an end, it will only increase your agony. Unless, there are kids involved, this means a whole new strategy that you should consider them. If no kids, and no love, then separation is the best.
409366
you're his wife, now and given the past I would demand that they only talk when it involves their child and with you there.If he has a problem with that I would wonder what those two are REALLY talking about\nHe left you for her once,so beware, sounds like he wants his cake and eat it too.\nI hate to tell you, cause it hurts, but in my opinion, he's clearly not over her. If I was in your shoes I would be angry and insecure as well.I won't tell you ,you should leave cause that's easier said than done, when you love some one. But at least talk to him.\n\nyou can't control what people do, but you can control what you let them do to you.