I know some people won't agree with it, but... for the people good at writing poems out there how can i make this more powerful? does the poem's format work? *Note* i'm going to have to add a more details section because it won't all fit. TKS!!!\n\n___________________________________________________________\n\nI believe in jihad\nA word that has many meanings,\nYet I accept all\nFor they all combat the injustice and inequality all around the world.\n\nFrom the jihad of the heart and soul\nA struggle against the perceived evils in the mind,\nThat helps us all find our sense of balance\nTo allow us to create a culture of good moral and values.\n\nFrom the jihad of the tongue\nA struggle to expose the falsehoods we hear everyday,\nThat enables us to create an honorable society\nSo we can take pride in what we have produced.
123801
I think you should post this on http://www.deviantart.com\n\nThat way actual artists and writers can critique it better than average Yahoo! people. \n\nPersonally, I think this uses slightly dull language. Have you considered writing it as an essay instead? Listen to this:\n\n"I believe in jihad. It's a word that holds many meanings, and I accept all of them. Each and every one combats the injustice and inequality that taints our world today."\n\nOf course, I disagree with that. The jihad of the sword has no place in modern times. In this time and age, we can work out our differences with diplomats and words, not Kalashnikovs and rocket launchers.\n\nOh I see. Well then I retract the bit about AKs and RPGs...however the other guy did have a point in saying it's a little flat and too much like prose. So why not build on your strengths and just make it prose? \n\nHowever, I do disagree that the events at the WTO had any justification at all. You don't respond to ANYTHING with terrorist attacks on civilian targets. I knew guys that lost family in that attack.
639902
There's quite a few parts of the Quran that's tender to Christians, and from memory even the Jews also. Many Muslims are wonderful too.\n\nIt's just that religious texts, in every religion, are open to interpretation *by humans*. Heck I live in Northern Ireland.\n\nI've read many books on conflict resluton and two of the best things we can do are, first to remember that without words an argument dies down, and secondly we should promote the good parts of our cultures. \n\nGood luck.
58160
Dear Legggsss2002,\nThere is no one on this earth more qualified to answer that question than YOU....By his every action,comment and gesture he answers that question every day....all I can say is open your eyes and open your mind and the answer to that question will come to you. I sincerely hope you like what you find.\nAlso, thank you for your encouraging remarks about my poem,"Once".
665091
you are talented. Every one shows his/her feelings in a way, and one of the most beautiful ways to speak our mind is writing a poem.  :)
255811
Good use of symbols. I like how line 2 fits with the last two lines, it brings unity to the poem. Towards the end I think I got a little bit of a glimpse of what the poem might be about, but ultimately I feel like the message is hidden from me. It seems the third- and fourth-to-last lines are the culmination of the poem; is it possible to reword some of the earlier lines so as the reader can share what you're feeling when they reach the end?\n\nRegarding parenthesis: as long as you know what they mean then they're fine.
317310
I REALLY like it\n\nand if you are 13, it's a great job. \n\nYou have immense talent. Keep it up.\n\nYou may also want to submit it on poetry.com
512208
i disagree. \n\nyour poem sounds like 2 different stories:\n1. "Maybe we're different, but we're still the same\nWe all got the blood of Eden, running through our veins"\n2. "I know sometimes it's hard for you to see\nYou come between just who you are and who you wanna be"
319604
A real eye opener that chills you right to the bone. A harsh reminder why those sickos need to be stopped.\nIF this poem is regarding your own life then please seek help. Don't be afraid to tell someone, a teacher, a doctor, even a trusted aunt or other relative. They WILL take you seriously and something WILL be done. Telling someone and making it stop is surely better than continuing life as you are now.
241671
An interesting and sometimes-lovely poem. It's an acknowledgment of where and how the writer connects to his origins.\nPoetry doesn't need to make sense.  Like religion, it is often irrational.
567152
ROFL..you got em staggering.\n\nI love the different "translations". They are versions, call a spade a spade. How can a word mean fight to one person, and it mean a metaphoric fight to another. They crack me up.\n\nThe verse is pretty damn clear. This is what the terrorists feed off of.
106166
I think this is a great question (opportunity really) to get some of us closet writers to post our own writing...maybe even get some fun feedback, or just enjoy reading some other writer’s work as well. So, thanks for the chance. Well here is one of my earlier poems:\n\n"A Passing, Sulfur-Green Passion"\n\nThose green eyes, once filled with rage-rampant fire,\nFueled a whim obsessed fervor that partook of every desire.\n\nNot once did any glance go unrewarded in a closed-door fashion—\n   A youthful body withered by long nights of unprotected (un-sustained) passion. \n\nFeeling ephemeral stares, \nImagining they seek out what lurks behind badly salt-stained eyes, omens-old\nShe is forever surrounded by sulfur-smoke, \nLost in sustained moment of grey-cold.\n \nAnd those wet orbs cannot receive a spark of compassion\n \n   For anyone’s love.
104078
SURE-they're your poems.\ndon't restrict yourself with certain guidelines..\nGOOD LUCK WITH THE BOOK!!i write too!
222941
In all honesty it is such a lovely poem but once u get to the additional info @ 2 minutes, it is a little bit too full on. I personally am a very romantic sensitive person who also writes stuff, but it goes too deep even for someone like me at that point. Despite this if a guy wrote me that poem i would go totally mushy anyway!
227432
For most poems, any format works. Lets hear it for poetic liscense!\nFor easy readability, put quotes around words being said. You can also put one speaker in one font and the other in another, or by making one speaker right aligned and one left aligned if you have a word processor.
402662
Wonderful poem.\nDont do what you suggest though it wont have the effect you will be hoping for. My suggestion is to talk to her and tell her you wrote this poem abuot her and recite it. Good luck
425496
I like it. There are a couple of problems with the pentamiter, but its a good poem.\n\nthe only things i would change would be the lines:\n\nHe doesn't want to even be near,\n\nto\n\nHe doesn't even want to be near,\n\nand\n\nIt was overflowing to the brim.\n\nto\n\nOverflowing to the brim.\n\nIt reads easier. The number of beats is very important in poetic literature. I would also suggest changing the word "warrior" to something like "Hero" with 2 beats. \n\nBut it is a Wonderful poem.
86221
Wow, this poem is something else. By that I mean it is really abstract in its language and in its metaphors. I have a guess on it's meaning, but that is merely a guess. This author is using so much personal experience that it is hard for me as a reader to really connect well with what is being said, but here is my hypothesis:\n\nFirst of all, I think the title "Call It Fear" needs to be kept in mind when reading through the entire poem. The structure and the wording is suggestive of a person who is caught in the panic of fear ("call it an ocean of fear of the dark"). So, it can easily be assumed that this poem is analyzing fear and the essence of fear in the human mind.\n\nThe author has this deep fear, a fear of the dark, or possibly a fear of the unknown. The author is not alone however as she has found someone, referred to as Goodluck, who also has the same fear. They have come together to escape the fear, and their only escape has been found in the music that they have found on the radio, the church music that plays on a lot of stations on Sunday mornings. \n\nThere is also a question of the repeated imagery of "a string of shadow horses kicking and pulling me out of my belly." This image is repeated in the first and third stanzas and is linked to anxiety, the butterfly feeling that everyone gets in the pit of their stomach when they are controlled by fear. The idea of "shadow horses" seems to suggest the idea that death is pulling and tugging at the speaker of this poem, and it is the fear of death that drives the speaker to use music to escape the fear.\n\nThis is my guess on the meaning of the poem. . . I hope it proves helpful!