is he has two kids that are so disrespectful that I can't stand them. He lives with me and gets the brats every other weekend and thats the only time we fight! They don't mind anybody and are always making more messes than I can clean up.How can I get him to see my point that if they are not going to mind me I don't want them here!!!
133565
I think you need to tell him he needs to talk to his ex about coming up with a disciplinary plan. Discipline must be consistant at both of their homes. Kids will act the way they are allowed to. You definately can't ban them from coming to your house but you just need to make it known that they can't behave that way in your home.
235509
It's verbal abuse.  He doesn't have respect for you, let alone your kids.  You're kids don't deserve this treatment, and you don't deserve to put in the middle.  You have 2 options:  you can leave without working on it, or you can talk with him (as long as he doesn't have any violent tendancies) and see if he will get help through counseling.  It sounds as if he's a little jealous of the attention that you give your kids- they were there first and will ultimately be number one no matter what.  He's scared and resentful.  (You didn't say that he did it to you.)  Remember that he will only change if *he* chooses to, and does it for himself.  It is possible to work through, if he really doesn't want to be that kind of person.  If you notice that he's only doing it just to get you back, talk with him about a separation.  Fix it right- fix it once.\n\n\n**Again, if he is violent, talking about it may only anger him and cause a confrontation.  You and your children's safety is more important than the relationship you have with him.
241397
ok hunny been there done that.  with your sweetie i cant give a guarenteed answer but i had that problem with my son's father when we were together. he thought it was his responsibilty to look after his mom.  last straw for me was when she "borrowed" 200 bucks to take his sister back to the mainland for ferry and gas and i found out that she used it to go bowling. man i was pissed beyond recognition since the money came out of my account which i used to pay ALL the bills and he wouldnt ask her to pay it back. in your case hes the child and unless they are unable to work or seriously something wrong with them then his responisbility is to you and his children.........however many kids there are and his parents should know that their grandbabies come first and foremost. doesnt matter whose kids they are they are always first and shame on his ex for trying to stick him with two kids that arent his. personally i wouldnt put up with whats going on but maybe make a really big chart and stick it up somewhere really obvious (maybe in the bathroom right over the toilet where he presumably STANDS every morning to take a piss and cant miss it) and put up a couple column where you detail the money your bro gives you for gas and the money his parents drain out every month and ask him how if hes going to support his parents where is the money going to come from for paying child support plus all the monthly bills. family is only as important as you make them and he needs to get rid of his and be a big boy. if they want to know his every move maybe perhaps you should suggest to his parents that he get his old room ready so he can move back in it or offer to move your entire family his kids your kids an all into THEIR house so that they can be in control and you can stay rent free and they can babysit.  all else fails change your phone number refuse to open your door and have all the accounts put in your name with only you being able to access them. or as suggested by the others then by all means kick his ass to the curb............ but thats up to you and how much more of this you are willing to deal with.
300068
Depending on how old you are, you move out.  He's older and he's never going to change.  My father is the same age and is like this.  Our relationship got a lot better after I moved out.  He's very protective and critical of his little girl.  So I grant him that.  I'll give him the respect of listening to the important stuff and asking his advice on important stuff.  But if he busts me on stupid little things, I just say, yeah, yeah, yeah and ignore him.  Pick your battles and don't rise to the bait.  He's probably just trying to show his authority.  If you give him some authority in your life and simply let it roll of your shoulders on the stupid stuff, he'll get the hint and will appreciate the times you do give him control.  He's your father, and it's hard for father's to let their kids grow up.  He will get the hint though.  Eventually, children and parents reach a compromise.  Good luck!
113088
Number 1--the words Bf are not nice and anger will not alove your problems--leave them alone.   Let go, and let God.  Unless, you are willing to really forgive and stay together, from your tone I do not think that will happen, you can kill more flies with honey than you can with vinger, hold your head high, the best way to deal with that is to take care of yourself and do better.  Ignore them and keep moving on
286783
I can't stand my inlaws!! They are so fake! They act like they like me but, behide my back they talk about me. I have acually heard her talk about me! I can't believe they can be that way! I had tried so hard in the begining to get along with them but I stopped that a long time ago! I guess first impressions mean alot because that was when she brushed me off when I said hello. If my husban is not home and she calls I don't pick up the phone and she knows I'm home. I know that get's her upset. But I love it!! So my suggestion is focus on your fam and avoid her! But ofcoures say hello once in a blue moon. I know you not getting along with her came create unwanted problems in your relationship! Best of luck:)
276882
why are you living there in the first place???\n\nsounds like you have a problem.\n\nfirst, you should be grateful to them for giving you a place to live.\n\nsecond, you should get your stuff and try to find a relative or family member you can stay with.\n\nthird, eat crow and apologize to his family and ask for their forgiveness, if you were being a brat at THEIR house.\n\ntake care
300036
behavioral problems? sounds like you spoiled him a little? you got to set your own rules when he is young and not let him get away with everything... you probably never wooped his butt or made him stand in a corner, so now your paying for it. set some strict rules for him and over time he will not be behaving like a brat.
13617
If he is wasting your time cleaning up after him, try wasting his time. Take away privileges, and this should wake him up. He should know better than to do this when it is not his house but yours. Tough parenting, is just that. You only have 3 more years to make him a responsible adult. If you are tough now it will pay off. He may hate you now, but will love you for it later. \nGive him his living space for trashing as long as he doesn't do it to the rest of the house and just make him shut the door. When his room starts to stink, so will his cloths and his friends will let him know. Then maybe he will wake up and respect you and your house.
521580
It sounds like only one of you matured.  If he is going to treat you like a room mate, then why not return the favor.  Stop doing his laundry, stop cooking him supper, just you and the kids, stop making it easy for him.  Before you do that though, get the kids off to mom's or someplace they will be taken care of, take his keyboard, mouse and monitor and hide them and tell him he can have them back after the two of you talk.  Sit him down and tell him how you feel, let him know that you feel neglected and more like his live in maid than his wife and that you need more.  If he fails to respond, stop doing for him and when he asks why, you can let him know that since you are not having your needs met by him, that you do not find it necessary to meet his.  If you still can not get his attention, just set up a week vacation for you and the kids, don't say a word about it to him, just go to your mom and dad's or bothers or sisters for a week.  Let him come home to an empty house where he has to do everything for himself and take care of the dogs.  If he does not like it, let him know that if you do not get some of his attention, he will have it like that everyday of his life when you leave him for good.
268747
Oh my!  Why would you even think about staying with someone who treats you like this??  Do you think you NEED him???  Let me tell you, if you are financially dependent on him, get out anyway!  Do what you have to do!  Staying around in this relationship will only hurt you and your children.  Do you really want to raise you kids around this man and them think that this is normal and healthy?  Do you really want to teach your kids that it is OK to be like this.  If so, they will be just like you or him and just continue the cycles.  Do yourself a favor and get away from him and get some respect for your children...QUICK!
93446
If he's doing these things purposely then it would be some sort of a jealous act, OR he feels that he is the outsider (I'm betting on the outsider). He's looking for attention and he'll take any kind of it negative or positive. Take your stepson out just the 2 of you.  Make it a fun day of shopping, either for the house or for him; take a walk in the park and do lots of talking and listening etc.  Let him know that your alright and your not the mean wicked stepmother.  Put up a chore list along with a rule list for the weekends and make it fair and fun to all the kids.  Don't try to be his mom he already has one, so be his friend and show him your not taking sides that he is excepted into your family.  By doing this your husband will have to look after the other kids for a day you have out with the one.  And he'll also see that your trying and hopefully follow you.
178829
try explaining to him your problem.he should behave like a responsible father first.he can't just fool around with you and your kid.\nif his friends come home to stay , just don't allow them.\nmake a big fuss about it everyday.also don't permit him to stay out make sure he returns home.\nwatch whatever he's up to.find out what exactly he's doing with his friends.explain to him he is a father of a 3yr old kid and tell him first to behave like a dad.
257097
Maybe if you quit whining like a 5 yr old who isnt getting her way...and talk to them like an adult, they will let you spend some time alone with him. Explain that you two need to get to know each other "one on one" Not to screw each others brains out...but to find out what the other one likes and dislikes etc.. If you come to them as an adult, you will earn their respect and they just might let you two go out alone.
272556
She's rude! If you're married to her son- your family! As for the kids, the noise or mess may bother her, but that is still no excuse.\nTry talking to your husband, he can speak to her on your behalf.
428327
I hate it when they won't respect or listen to you, but still ask your opinion and want your approval and won't leave you alone about the topic unless you say something affirmative.  Erg. I'm sorry for you, but there is nothing more you can do but continue being his daughter and hope for the best.Treat him well.
304240
Oh for goodness sake!!! HOW old are you!? Are you really unable to sort your own life out? Kids need disipline. If you don't want you're man to be moody, tell them to fight elsewhere! Dependant on their ages, have you not tried teaching your kids correctly about how to behave in this society?? A smack probably wouldn't be out of place either!\nSend them to bed early if they won't stop fighting and if that won't happen, you've not done a good job at parenting, sorry!