Why do people have kids knowing that one day the kids will get married and “align their loyalties” to their spouse and no longer remain loyal to the parents?
121574
parenting and children are a strange thing.  yes sometimes children, "reject" their parents but this isnt always the case.  many people still love, and keep in touch with their parents.  it just depends on how you raise them.  PLEASE if you do have kids...tell you how much you love them...dont get bored with them and definately do not just let them do whatever they feel like.  it is hard, but in the end when they decide which nursing home you go to, you will realize it was worth it:)
303063
Of course they know what they were missing. They see other kids who have parents who love them. Just because someone learns to make do with what they have doesn't mean that they don't long for what they should have had. Every child deserves a loving family. Children in care situations reach out desperately for the love they are missing -- to adults, to other kids. Maybe at some point they just decide to close off their longings, but that's not the same as having never had those longings.\n\nIf NOBODY had parents, maybe nobody would miss parents. But what a frightful Brave New World that would be.
642511
Marriage?  You mean the living together with your baby daddy's exes b/f g/f daddy's mommy's baby's daddy's daddy?  That thing?  Oh that thing they use to do years ago when they exchanged vows because they meant it and would do anything to preserve and protect it, and stood in front of an alter with only family and close friends and not the neighbor?  Oh yeah, huh....what ever happened to that?
194033
I see a lot of people who dont respect their own or other marriages, it's sad. I feel that if one finds that "special person" they will, no matter what, respect that other person. AS it is said, Love never fails.
548671
no i wont marry you! but yes i most certainly believe in it!  the fact that people dont think they need to marry has led to the breakdown of the family and the problems we see now are the results of selfish people who have kids and then think they are under no obligation to stay around! i can say this cus i have done the same in the past myself. if we would have been marryd and committed to each other we would have work on our relationship instead of parting!
492256
staying for the sake of the kids will not give them any benefit, as time goes on and your kids grow they will notice things arent how they should be and will in time feel awkward, and often end up rebelling against both parents, some even leave home asap, i know quite a few old school mates who had done this, growing up in the kind of environment that you have at home now.......
516499
It tell me that those parents love their children and want to teach them right from wrong so they can make an educated choice when they get older\n\nThe parents that say, " I'm not taking them to church because I don't want to forse any religion on them and they can mkae their own choice when they get older....IMO, these parents are clueless, they turn their children over to world to be trained with NO right or wrong moral code upbringing.  How can they make a choice like this? they don't know both sides.\nThis is a cop-out by the parents \n\nThese children  that do make it are few and far between\n\nthat is so sad\n\nand our culture is reflecting this attitude these days too.....:-(
14
IMO... our lives are much more complex than our equivalents from 50 years ago and thus it's more likely for married people to grow in different directions over time (values, needs, etc.). Add to that how easy and acceptable it is to get a divorce, and how quick we are to dispose of things that we no longer want, and you get an increasing percentage.\nI wouldn't be surprised if in the not too distant future the average length of a marriage drops to ~5 years and the average number of marriages per person increases to 2+.\nA parallel to consider: how many different circles of friends do you have and how often have you joined new ones and left others behind over your life? (grade school, high school, college, jobs, etc.). We are a nomadic species. :)
291455
I think it means, as your children are given to you at your home, with your new,second husband, only for a certain amount of time. Then they will grow up and be on their own. So that is when, "Cling only unto him.." For no matter what, there is a reason you were brought together, to love one another. He must know that you will always love your children, no matter where you are or where they are! However, he also needs to know that it is you two together, as a couple..........you could also make up your own wedding vows!! Make your own service, it's your day! Good luck and congratulations!!:)
28489
I have a child, and I'm a single mom.  Before I finally left my son's father I had been back in forth many times.  Everyone was telling me to stay, except for my older sister.  She told me something that everyone seemed to have missed...my happiness.  If you're not happy, then how much of that pain is reflected upon your children?  Don't stay in a marriage because of children.  You may think your kids are too young to notice your unhappiness, but they aren't.  \nThis is not punishment for you.  You had good intentions when you got married, but things aren't working out for whatever reason.  If you are afraid of leaving because you think you can't make it on your own, have faith, and if you really don't think you can leave because of your children then seek marriage counseling.
362481
I honestly believe that the reason there are so many divorces is because people get married when they are in the "honeymoon phase" of their relationship, have a fairtale wedding, and then expect a fairytale wedding.\nPeople need to realize that true love is when you love a person completely, including their faults.  \nI think people expect their partner to change or something to happen once they get married, or many times they don't even know their partner's irritating habbits.\nI think it is important to realize no matter how much you love someone and how great your relationship is, when you live with someone you see everything about them, and it isn't always what a person expects.\n\nA relationship obviously changes throughout the years a couple is together.  People change and mature and things that were important to us as children get put on the back burner.\nDoes that mean a relationship is better or worse?   No.
21075
Some people do that because they may be afraid of committment. Others because they have a trust problem. They had bad relationships in the past. So they have a hard time trust their spouse. Or because they are stupid.
9000
It is different for everyone. Some people are not out to be married just to be married, but they find someone they love, and decide they want to be with that person forever. Some are scared of ending up alone. Some people do it because it seems like the thing to do, the next logical step in your life. I knew a guy who did just that. He had a long time girlfriend, he graduated college, and just fell into the pattern he thought would be normal. It did not last though. Marriages should be based on love and trust, not a fear of being alone.
220093
People aren't honest because they need to present a good face.  God knows what their marriage is really like or what their spouse would say.\n\nThat's me being cynical, I do know happily married couples though, but I know alot more people who swear their relationships are perfect in one breath and then proceed to complain about their spouse in the next.
242865
Because too many parents want to be their children's friends, so there is no discipline or limits in their lives.\n\nOur kids don't need friends. They have those already. They need parents who set clear standards and rules, and expect their kids to try and live up to those rules.
484075
Sounds very selfish. Someone who would do that doesnt care about providing the optimal home enviorment for the child. There is obvisouly no commitment between the parents. My question is What is the reasoning for not getting married? So if things don't work out one of them can walk away? What kind of lessons are you teaching that child. Can one person raise a child? Yes, Would two people be better? Yes, Would two people who are in a legaly binding commitment be better than that? Yes, Would a Mother and a Father in a legally binding commited marrige be better that that? YES!! Why would you want anything less than the best for your child? Where have standards gone??
147141
Because people confuse marriage with weddings.  People spend so much time planning the perfect wedding and forget about whats going to come after the flowers have died and the cakes been eaten.  They don't realise the commitment they're actually making and when this sets in after they become so unhappy that it inevitably leads to divorce.  Some of the most happily married couples I know went off and got married alone in little ceremonies with no trimmings and they're still together like glue because they knew it was a marriage they were having and not a wedding.