My aunt passed away and she was like second to my mother so I still can't believe that she is gone and it seems so surreal after 6 months of dealing with this. What are points and facts that can finally make me understand and be certain of when a person has passed away? Please answer with your best, thank you...
120594
I lost my oldest son just over 5 years ago.  He was murdered.  I am still not over it & never will be.  The best thing I can tell you is turn to your religion.  That has helped me.  I think God gives us answers on how to go on without our loved ones in everyday things.  Like, this might sound wierd to most, but sometimes I hear (in the back of my mind) my son talking to me or answering a question that I've only asked myself.  I take it as he's giving me advise.  I think I'm living life as my son would have wanted me to live it.  I'm making decisions that if he were here & I'd asked him for his advice, they are ones that he's tell me.  I don't know hon, life goes on & so must we.  Sorry to hear about your loss.  A son, aunt, mother or father, its never easy & nobody has all the answers.  Just take it day by day.  You'll have good ones & bad one.  I've learned to deal with it cause all the tears & sorrow or angry feelings isn't going to bring my son back, just make me a bitter person.  He wouldn't have wanted that.  He was a good young man, 23 at the time & had his whole life with a wonderful career in his sites.  He was brutally murdered.  We just had the trial back in September '05.  It still hurts but like I said... he would want me to do just what I'm doing... trying to be the best person I can be.  Good luck to you sweetie!
561976
Because her passing affected you more than it did the others. My daughter passed away 7 years ago. It seemed that everyone but the immediate family dreamed about her, and very realistically.\nI think it might have been because we couldn't accept her death as easily as others....Or, it was MORE real to us...
303165
you just really need totalk to someone. i lost a frien to suicide unfortunately i was in the room when it happened. i know how hard it is. i also had to attend 23 funerals in 10 months jst a few years ago between friends and family i wasn't surei wold make it either i really felt like my world was caving in on me. the thing that got me throgh it was my husband he always talked me through things, to this day he still makes sure i don't forget thememories of those friends and family members. one other thing i did was write letters to the people i was closest to especially my mom when i was feeling as you are now. i've read them at later times some i just keep in a box. good luck and please talk to someone!
128988
I'm sorry for your loss.\n\nMy father died unexpectedly when I was 27. \n\nI don't remember much of the first year without my dad, other than some pretty messed-up holidays.  This is a protection mechanism. The first year is the most dreadful, because of holidays, birthdays and the awkwardness of figuring out how to celebrate something supposedly happy with the air of absence and sorrow hanging over it.\n\nWhen people initially told me in a few years it would be better, I was furious with them. I didn't want it to get better and I didn't want believe it would--a part of me felt that I would be a bad daughter if I stopped grieving. As I started healing and felt less pain...TI worried if I was grieving too little. And I thought maybe I had grieved too much, as well! Very confusing. I felt like I was doing everything wrong.\n\nBut this wasn't the case. I was grieving just right for me. And after a few years, it was still sad but not heartwrenchingly so and it kept getting a little better with each passing month. I realized that I wasn't a bad daughter. I realized that I was healing and getting on with my life and that by going on, I was, in my own way, honoring my dad. My father has been deceased for seven years now, and there are still times when it's painful, but it's not crippling or scary any more. And I remember much more of our happy times, too.\n\nPeople grieve at different rates and I feel it is wrong to try to put a timeline on healing. Our society is very timeline-based, even if those timelines don't properly apply to messy, organic processes like recovering from the loss of a loved one.\n\nIf however, you find that your grieving is truly interfering with your family, work and social life after year, you probably need some help working through your sorrow. Books, videos, chaplains or ministers or therapists are all very helpful in situations such as yours.
29738
First of all, my condolences go out to you. Try remembering fun things you did with your pappaw. I do it quite frequently, as my grandfather passed away just before Chritmas. Did you fish, go to the movies, go to the park, have dinner at your favorite restaurant, anything memorable with him. If so, try to think about the most exciting things you did together. If you are religious, try prayer or meditation, depending on your religious preferences. If he was suffering before he passed, think of how comfortable he must be now that he is not suffering. If you have a pastor, mentor, or close friend, try talkin about your feelings with them. I truly hope you gain some comfort in the time to come.
71218
I'm so sorry to hear this. Well i know how you feel i have gone through 4 loved ones deaths. It will be hard to go through, what i love to do was surround my self with friends and family, and remember the person who just passed on. ITs good to cry, makes you feel better. Sometimes writing can help. but i blive that friends and family around is the best thing, they can cheer you!!! I am praying for you and god bless you all. im so sorry!
289004
Personally, I just lost my dad last month.  I'm still dealing.  It takes a while but the one thing you have to keep in mind is that she was here for a reason.  Whether or not there is an afterlife is irrelevent.  Each person that crosses your path, each person you interact with is there for a reason.  Whether its to teach you something or point you in the direction youre meant to go, there is a purpose.  You may miss her, but if you spend the rest of your life grieving you are not living.  You are lost in the past and moving forward because you have no alternative.  I can assure you, that is not what she would want.  I look at it this way, when you truly care for someone, you give them a piece of yourself.  You have given them your love, your support, your caring, whatever...its a part of you.  No matter where you go, they will always have that.  It is not something tangible that can be taken away or lost.  Your sister will be with you forever.  Nothing can change that..not even death.  'Sides, in my opinion death is just a speed bump in this thing called life, not an end.
402281
Yes, and I'm going through it right now.  I'm pretty sure it's my uncle who died two years ago January 16th.  He started having a lot of pain right around this time and in the beginning of December, was put in the hospital.  He had a lot of pain.  So much pain.  HIs pancreas was failing and so was his liver.  His lungs also kept filling up with fluid.  Right after he died, my stove kept turning itself off.  The electrical part of it.  My satellite receiver in a completely different room started doing this too.  Since two days ago, it keeps doing it.  Multiple times per day.  Not every once in a while like it was doing.  Also, my 9 month old son keeps looking at the celing and smiling and laughing.  He was doing that when there was a large balloon hanging from the ceiling.  It was for my daughter's third birthday party, barely full and two days old.  she turned three on Monday.  Well, as he is looking up there, smiling and laughing like something is there, that balloon all of a sudden pops on its own.  Nothing was visibly touching it.  It just popped.  The balloon next to it was blowing like wind was on it.  There are also these orbs of light that come and go.  They usually come from the hallway and go towards the windows.  When the balloon popped, some orbs were going.  Oh, yeah, and two elderly women had died in this house.  I didn't know this until two years after living here, when I was already experiencing what seemed like an angry spirit.  The things I was told by my neighbor matched exactly what was going on in this house.  At times, you hear this loud thud.
304491
yes you should. Why? when a person dies the family is going through so many emotions and everything is a fog.  They are so hurt and sad and at times don't remember who all came to see them and it's not because they are being rude, they are just so consumed with not having the loved one there anymore.  So, yes you are doing the right thing and they will be very happy to know you care.
68198
I have kinda been there before. My hubbies mom passed away and it was horrible. What you can do is just be there for him. Maybe you and your bf can spend the day with him and make it a day no one will forget. Sometimes all you can do is be quiet and listen to what they have to say. It helps. Good luck I hope that it all works out for you.
108869
so sorry about your mom .was there an autopsy done on her?if you know the people she was with ask them what went on if you cant get a straight answer go to the police tell them you feel something isnt right about your moms death give names if you no who she was with .just keeping digging for answers sooner or later some one will let it out as to what happened.
455433
My whole family is psychic. When I was just a child my mom tole me the Quija said i died in my last life at 19 during childbirth. So when I was really 19 and having my baby I had to ask her if it was last time or this time.\nAs you can tell it couldn't have been this life. That's good, huh!
669728
When my Grandpa died the day after my 14th birthday, I wanted to die. I spent my birthday in hospital watching him. He was in a coma, and was for 4 days before passing away. It's the most horrific pain i've experienced in my life. It's now been 7.5years and although the pain has subsided, i still find that sometimes I'll just sit and cry because I miss him so much. I was his favourite of 16 grandchildren, and he was my favourite person in the world, and now i'll never know if he really knew how much he meant to me. The pain will change, but it will never go away. I am SO sorry for your loss, and I completely understand what you're going through. My thoughts are with you.
548872
Hi hon!\nThis happened to a friend of mine also.  He was 19, had cancer.  Was on some serious medication, but was getting by.  Then we all stopped hearing from him.  Visited his house, but his mom said he had died.  But his shoes were in the hallway.\nSo we all grieved, and moved on.  \nYears later he showed up on one of my friends doorstep.  His mom had told all his friends that he had died.  What a bitch.\nMaybe he didn't want people to see him like that.  Maybe his mom thought his friends would stress him out.  I don't know.  All I do know is we aren't friends with him anymore, we wish him well, but what a terrible thing to do to your "friends".\nSo I shared a little something with you there didn't I?  Take it for what it is, an experience.  Perhaps you aren't getting the whole story either!\nHave a great week...
364197
When I was 15, my mom (god bless her) was brutally murdered. I was angry, suicidal, super emotional. So is suicide normal. . . All I can say is that the best advice I was given is this; the pain of the death of a loved one never goes away. It changes, you learn how to live with it. I never thought the post traumatic stress would end but it did. Please find someone you can trust and let it out. You can even e-mail me through Q&A. My heart really goes out to you. You are not alone!
188468
I have lost both of my parents and I'm single.  I found that i felt disoriented for about 6 months when each of my parents died.  Then, I began recovering.\n\nEvery person is different, though.  You may take more or less time.  If it goes on for a year, you should probably get some help.  And if it is too tough, find a professional to talk to whether it has been a year or not.\n\nBest wishes to you.
491521
I'm sorry for your losses. I have a similar story but on a longer time scale...since my graduation from college party in May 2005, 3 people who attended have passed away. My mom's best friend, my best friend and yesterday my grandpa.  I'm not sure why things happen like that but after talking to people at work they all have similar stories. I think it's just how life happens and no sense can be made of it. \nNot to mention my grandma, best friend and grandpa all  passed in November 2001, 2005 and now 2006. (It's a tough month)\n\nIf it weren't for the bitter the sweet wouldn't be so sweet.\n\nBest of luck to you.