The key words are "Cope" and "Trapped". Cope, meaning that I am not looking for a way out, just ways of coping. Trapped meaning that leaving is not an option. Are there support groups? Anyone else in a similar situation?
120193
There is really no way to just cope if you love the person and don't feel like they are giving you the attention, love and affection you need. I have found that things are alot easier when I stay busy and try to keep my mind off certain things that remind me of the negative things. I try many things to keep myself busy from going to eat or have a beer after work to playing online games or just doing some school work. If you have children together it makes things harder because you want to kinda put on a show and spend time with the kids togeather. If you don't have kids I would suggest finding some friends separate from your spouse. Spend some time with them or just plain talking to someone about it helps so much.
273840
could mean there's someone else, possibly a man....  seek counseling.  Hope things get better for you.
16374
You have to get busy.  thats the main thing for getting out of it.  If it's long term there may be another problem causing it and there are thousands of those it seems.  But regular depression with a short term duration is actually pretty normal.  Whether you want to or not get out and interact.  Sitting around doing this will make it worse.  Be busy and be around people, stay away from alcohol or drugs because they will definitely make it worse, and if this doesn't work or you feel like you'll do something drastic to yourself or someone else, don't trust yourself and seek some help right away.  it's in the yellow pages in the kitchen under the sink.
64124
You can't help them unless they want help.  It's impossible.  We have run into that problem in our life and honestly, it feels like we are banging our heads up against the wall for all the good we are doing.  When they reach rock bottom, then you can be there to pick up the pieces and try to put him/her back together again.  Sorry I have no better advice for you.
61920
First a correction: The correct spelling is "hopeloos" (not "hoepeloos"), which means hopeless.\n\nWhole sentence: "It is hopeless (it serves no purpose) to lose your cool in (or over) an internet forum."
461760
Well, you answered part of the question yourself co-dependency. They are also embarresed confused lonely hurt scared. It is a pattern and until you are comfortable enough and not afraid of what may happen will the other person leave. It takes alot of strength and guts to get out of a abusive relationship because most of these people see themselves as failures already. They need to learn to understand there is help out there and they can survive on there own.
530044
What a great question!  You have a way with words as you describe the situation that you're facing so well.  I couldn't have done it better myself.\n\nI'm 26 yrs old and have been diagnosed with BPII/BPD and have have major substance abuse problems.\n\nI can completely relate as I've been struggling with the same issue with my father and I appreciate you sharing this with us.  \n\nIt's difficult to have other people see you while you're dysphoric and at your weakest.  This is a time where you expect compassion and when you're parents don't only fail your expectations, but go completely against them, it can be very hurtful.\n\nWhen things blew up with me, I got my a$$ handed to me by my folkes, because my behavior was simply wearing them out.  With the drugs, the police, the hospital visits, I was becomming a huge source of stress and anxiety for them.  They never took the time to understand.  That made things a lot worse for me, I was sad to be in the house, but didn't have any where else to go at the time.\n\nI knew I needed help and I didn't want to be complacent, so I reserached treatment options myself, they wouldn't lift a finger.  The dynamic in the house was as if everyone was walking on eggshells.  It was very uncomfortable.  I was very hurt that I couldn't get the support I needed and built a very strong resentment towards them, I was ready to write them off.\n\nThe emotional pain and quality of living was getting worse, so I had to do something.  I reconnected with my Psychiatrist, got my meds straitened out and began attending Pyschotherapy, support groups and getting support from people outside my family.  For the last three months, I've worked really hard in regaining stregth and my sense of self and it's done wonders for me.\n\nJust recently, my father was talking to me about his best friends daughter, who is suffering with mental disorders and receiving therapy.  He went on to say, that she was extremely needy and fucI(ed in the head - which was his way of taking a shot at me, as he is fully aware I'm going through the same thing.  Next, he talked about quitting smoking and I told him about Zyban, he said that his mind is strong enough to quit addiction without meds - ohhhhh another shot to your son who is in recovery, taking meds no less.   A few months ago, I would have left the room in a fit or put him in his place right then and there.  \n\nSince I leveled my moods out and get support outside the house, I was feeling really good about myself and sat there calm and collected.  I thought about how I was going to respond, I know that he's old school, he didn't grow up in the information age, he thinks psychiatry is a pseudo science and associates looks at it with the stereotypical stigma attached to it.  I also thought that this was his house and I'm not going to lash out and cause any trouble.  That was the last thing I needed amongst the scheme of things.\n\nI responded quite calmly, "Why do you think she's needy?  Do you think she's faking it or that she's using it as an excuse for attention?"  He didn't respond with any logical type of answer and changed the subject, but I stuck with it.  Then I asked him, "I'm under intensive psychotherapy right now and take meds and it's helped me a great deal.  Do you think I'm needy as well?"  He said no, he actually said he noticed a difference in my behaviors and he was proud of me and knew that I was working hard to get better.\n\nI think he feels really guilty inside for going off on me.  I think deep down inside he was scared and didn't know how to deal with me.  I think my parents paniced and saw flaws in me that live inside them and their natural defense mechanism is to take it out on me.  It's the age old habit of self loathing.\n\n I'm still not over it and he knows that and I can see it in his eyes that he was sorry about what he&
117021
Olivia is right. It never goes away.....it just subsides. You will always be left with a hole that nothing can fill. But you learn to cope. You keep them alive by remembering all of the words of wisdom given by them throughout your life. They will never stop speaking to you....and through you, even when they are not standing before us. That's the best way I know how to cope. Keep them alive......by living as they would have done.
310840
You are not lost at all because you are here right now. I am truly sorry for the tragedies that you have suffered, on the bright side you are truly a survivor. And your life's journey is far from over.Develop the coping skills you already have and you will be just fine.Dont be afraid or feel guilty of being happy because for once you deserve it.God bless and good luck.I hope for many great things for you.
478136
Your an idiot,\n\nonce your in your in and getting out is like a mystery.
123415
Well this is totally different than what we discussed a few days ago......lol  The "Carry off" portion changes the whole perspective. When you say it this way....I realize you are talking about "masking" feelings with happiness......or promoting the feeling of unhappiness for the sake of your audience. \n\nYes, I'm a master at smiling and making the world think I'm happy. (even when things are crumbling around me) Rarely do people know the blows that life lands on me because I won't allow the efffects to show in my demeanor. It's not that it is work.....it's not that it is hard to do.....it's just how it is. I never want people to feel sorry for me or to feel that they must take on my burdens, so I tackle things on my own in my own time and don't show the negative side. \n\nThus why I said earlier that maintaining a "negative" disposition would be harder work for me. It would mean that I would actually have to bring my issue to the forefront of my mind and think about it. It's such a natural response for me to just "table" it until I'm alone. When someone that knows me well sits me down and says, "Ok, spill it....something is eating at you." Well it takes all the strength and effort in the world to make myself actually "unload." I seriously just have a very very hard time burdening anyone else with the things floating around in my head. So hands down.............it's easier to maintain a positive disposition than a negative one. \n\n*now all of you think I need therapy right? lol....you just might be right!! lol*
481037
It's a good idea to go talk to a counselor or therapist & keep searching for what you need.  I would try a support group as well.
603973
I'm sure more people than you realize go through the situation you described. I know I have! And I also understand what you mean when you say that you don't want to go through it all again to form another friendship. Relationships take a lot of work to initiate and to maintain!\n\nI know you said that you can't afford a counselor, but I would really look into it some more. Do you have health insurance? They usually help you cover some of the cost; I know mine does. And if you find a therapist you like (that's really important--don't just go to anyone), tell him/her about your financial situation (be really honest about it, he/she will usually understand). If you're in school or employed, the school or job will usually have a mental health benefit so you can see a counselor or a therapist for free for a certain number of sessions. This can really be helpful--it may give you some insight into other things that may be going on for you, as well as help you figure out what the best solution(s) are in your situation. They'll also do a broader assessment and refer you to someone if they feel as though you may need additional support.\n\nHow long has this loneliness been going on? You write "lately" but does that mean a week, a month, a year? And are the "friends" that you're with right now the same ones that betrayed your trust before? How do you know them?\n\nI also completely understand when you write that you don't want to be someone's burden. I think many of us feel that way! When we have a problem or an issue that seems to consume a lot of our time and energy, that's all we want to talk about, and it may FEEL like the person we're talking to doesn't want to listen anymore or is only doing it to be nice. Believe me when I say (and I have been in both positions) that it is absolutely NOT TRUE. People DO want to listen to you! After all, relationships are two-way streets--when you share, the other person will feel more open and comfortable to share with you too.\n\nI like the suggestion of a few other people who have also answered this question: get involved with a group. Join some sort of activity (e.g., book reading club, running club, knitting club, group through a religious/spiritual organization, human rights advocacy group, etc.) in which you will automatically have something in common with the other people there. After all, you're all there for a reason, right? Conversations will be a lot easier to start that way, and it may be easier to find someone that you naturally "click" with.\n\nTake care.
360252
Perhaps you are dealing with your pain in a codependent manner, by seeking safety in someone else.  You need to explore this honestly, because in the long run, the only way you will truly feel whole is if you can feel safe on your own.  Support groups really do help, should you feel that would be appropriate for you.
632599
Entrepenuer suggests that you are seeking to start your own business, and are not looking to be employed by someone else. It's just a bad connotation.  An employer won't believe you intend to stay very long.
103345
Look outside of the town if you do not want to be locked into that life. I can relate to this. I got out.
232608
Jenny,\n\nEducation is the path to get out of that concentration camp.\n\nThat's what I did.  My parents were crazy.\n\nYou have a very strong desire for freedom.  You don't have a life full of laughter and friends and love --yet-- but you can get there.  It's always darkest just before dawn.\n\nEmail me if you think no one will listen to you and you think no one will hear you.