I dated one guy for three months.  We broke up over rumors and drama and he just couldnt take it anymore.I've learned alot and wev've both dramatically changed. I truly believe he still has feelings for me, but is scared of getting hurt. How do I get him back and make him believe I really care about him and he wont get hurt?
133506
You need to be friends and earn back his trust. Once that happens it will all fall into place if it is supposed to
36558
Feelings are hard to understand.  My best advice is to give him time.  Give him space and do not call.  If you have changed, this is your time to prove it and lay off for a little while, if there is hope for the relationship, it will shine through.  However, be mentally and emotionally prepared for him to not come back.  In the end, this is not the last guy you will ever date, you're life might have just begun.
538940
Appreciate that he is returning your calls and has let you know that they're HIS issues, not yours.\n\nYou've only been hanging out a month.  Depending on what he has going on, that's really not enough time to develop trust.  It happens over time, and this relationship is in it's beginning stages.  It may not be an exclusive relationship, though it sounds like it's heading that way.\n\nDon't put any more pressure on him.  He knows you're there, he knows you're concerned.  That's enough.  If you continue to call him, then you need to ask yourself "Am I really concerned about him, or am I feeling insecure because I'm not part of what's going on?"  He's having some challenges right now, and I think he's handling this appropriately.  If you're really concerned about him, then keep it about him.  Be available to him if / when he needs you.  \n\nWhat's going on with him has nothing to do with you.  Keep this situation in its proper perspective; otherwise, you will lose him before you've gotten things off the ground.
526711
Tell him that you are very sorry that you hurt him. I don't know what happened to make your relationship go bad...but I know that if I was dating a guy and we broke up for whatever reason I wouldn't want to hurt him. That would make me hesitate to break up with him. Maybe you could point out whatever difference that broke you up is now resolved. Tell him also that you could start out very slow as friends and then get to the dating stage evenutally. If you really love this guy you will be willing to take as long as it takes to win him back. Good luck.
170663
Without you giving the whole story I can only take a shot at this one...If you broke up with him and he is still texting you, then he is in denial. He must still have feelings for you and thinks that there is still a good chance that you will want him back. When it actually starts to hit him, that you have moved on, then he may start to get more intense with these types of intrusions...just be aware that some guys get a bit nuts in this situation and that it sounds like that could be starting...he will either just give up or kick it up a notch...Now, if he was the one that broke it off...he is just trying to lay the groundwork for getting you back...But from the way you wrote your question that doesn't really seem to be the case. I just thought I would throw that in there too.\n\nNow you added details...So I guess that I was right in throwing that last little bit. So here is what you aught to do...You should act a little pissed off that he is still "bothering" you and that you just want to be left alone in order to move on. Tell him that it was hard enough when he broke it off, but now you just need some space to set yourself right and move on and with these constant reminders, you can't do so...If he is really wanting you back (and seems to me that he does), this will put the ball back into play. He should then go from there and say that he just can't stop thinking of you and really wants you back...If that is the case, and you end up taking him back, then you really need to get down to the bottom of why he broke it off in the first place. There is obviously something that you two didn't get out in the open earlier and if it doesn't get out there, then you guys would be doomed from the start of this new start...
497672
While it sounds like you once had a lasting relationship with this long term guy, it is obvious that things weren't working for him when he was close to you.  He left you because he didn't want to be with you, nothing more, nothing less.  \n\nAs a guy I know when we look to come back, we all come up with so many excuses as to why we left, how much we now know and understand, how foolish we are, and how much we miss you.  Bla, bla, bla!  \n\nBottom line is if he is smart, he knows how emotionally attached you are/were and is playing it in his favor because he is lonely or that his reason for leaving you (if it was for another girl) isn't working out in his favor (sex only takes a relationship so far). An instant fix is to get back with you until he recalls why he left, gets his booty call from you, or until something better comes along.  \n\nYou are safe with him, but because he left once, it would be a very safe bet he would take off again once his old feelings or someone hotter comes around.  Believe me, if you go back with him, it will happen again.  You would be wasting your time.  Move on!  Holiday season doesn't help with emotional stuff like this.  \n\nKeep in mind, HE LEFT YOU...you owe him nothing not even a second chance.  He should have thought about that when you were asking him to come back before you became involved again.  As a guy, it is tempting to want/take something you feel you can't have.  In a sick way, your sityation offers a challenge for him to see if he can get you back one more time (ego thing) and be better/win over the new guy.\n\nSounds to me like you are very young, (under 25) and got involved with someone new before you got closure with the old guy.  Just as the guy who left you, you are doing a disservice to your new "love" if you even consider being torn.  How would you feel if he was dragging an old flame into your relationship?  \n\nIt seems like you have a real issue of being alone.\n\nIf it was me, I would break up with both or stay with the new guy, but in the future, take 4-6 months off before you get emotionally involved with anyone else.  Today, neither one of them seem to be that special (seems to me like you are carrying emotions for both and have made things complicated for everyone).  If I was dating you and I found out I was only as important to you as a guy who by choice dumped you on your ass, I would be so checkling out!\n\nDo some healing/reading on divorce/relationship recovery and always remember and learn from what your prior boyfriend did to you.  Follow and recall his past and current actions not his words (that stuff is easy).
553777
Chick why would you want him back.  A guy like that doesn't deserve you.  He told you he doesn't like you as much as he did before and that he's being mean to you.  Let him go and find someone that will like you especially after a year and will not be mean to you.  You will be much happier if you do.
669747
Any person who  could think so little of someone to have them raped is a very dangerous person indeed! What would he do if you got back together & then displeased him or upset him in someway? Have you 'accidentally' run over? No - leave him in your past, and make a future for yourself. If you go back with him, he will think he can control your body, soul & mind. You say your original relationship was horrible on both sides - would that have been because you didn't always do what he wanted? Apart from hurting many people, I think that if you went back to this guy, you be the one who gets hurts the most. Emotionally and physically. Leave well alone and find someone who will treat you with the respect you deserve. If you feel yourself still attracted to your ex, re-live the bad times & how he used to make you feel, and thank god you're out of it! Good Luck & Blessed be.
370091
Honetly, how I would get him back is by dumping him, if he doesn't trust you now, he never will and he will keep accusing you of the same thing.\n\nif he thinks you would do this after whatever length of time you have been together he doesn't know you at all and isn't worth the hassle.\n\nif you do want to stick with him, tell him that the next time he accuses you of doing something like that you will make sure that he actually has some proof to go on...in the mean time wax his balls :)
504986
I am happy for you that you realize he didn't love you, you are on the road to recovery!  WTG!  Why do you miss him so much?  You spent 3 years with him, that is a good chunk of time wouldn't you agree?  Even though someone hurt us more than imaginable, we still suffer a loss after a break up.  The only way to heal is to forgive him for all they ways he's hurt you.  You forgive him for yourself and your mental health, it really has nothing to do with him.  Then give yourself a lot of time.  You aren't going to get over three years in a month.  When you feel you are ready to move on you will but; give yourself a little time so what he did to you doesn't effect your next relationship.  Good luck and remember:  "NO MAN OR WOMAN IS WORTH YOUR TEARS AND THE ONE WHO IS WON'T MAKE YOU CRY."  I don't know who said it but; it's wonderful isn't it?
441721
Whether you're ready or not can not be answered by anyone here. You're having doubts which is normal at the beginning of any relationship, but even more common with a recent break up.\n\nBe honest with the guy about recently getting out of something serious. If you like him, tell him you just wanna take things slow.\n\nDon't worry about your past or rush into talking to him about it. When it feels right and the trust has built between you two, it will feel right.\n\nBe cautious, but don't be distant! Be sincere, don't be fake! Be honest, but not revealing!\n\nGood luck!
270618
You're just asking to be hurt...Honey...don't you think more of yourself?? This is not the one for you...you are HIS loss. Get  your self back in the game..
394446
just explain to him that your trust for him is minimal, you can only help him out if he promises not to hurt you again, explain to him how you felt back then and maybe you will both be able to move on and have a great relationship. good luck xx
35296
i did the same thing, just give it sometime for him to think about what he no longer has (you) and he'll come through. Sometimes, when you dont stress about a situation what ever you want to happen, happens so relax and you might get your man back.
292669
trying to get back at some one doesn't help anything. Be the bigger person and go on with your life. Obviously if he doesn't think highly enough about you to be honest, he's no worth it. Be the bigger person and show him whats he's missing.
570813
Give the man some time.\nhe only needs to trust you. He feels like he could go through hell again to try and feel the best thing in the world. You need to prove to him that you really care and you are not like this other girl. Do the things you want out of him and I can promise you everything will fall into place.
342720
Give him three months at least. That is a decent enough time for anyone to gather one's senses and wits back. Then, tell him that you are confused about his interest (or lack of) in you and think that it will be better for both of you to move on. If he agrees or doesn't improve by that time, its time to move.