1)A big cuddly dog emitted fierce growls, happily ignoring joyful kids licking minute nuts on pretty queer rotten smelly toadstools underneath vampires who x-rayed young zombies. \n\n2)I do not know where family doctors acquired illegibly perplexing handwriting; nevertheless, extraordinary pharmaceutical intellectuality, counterbalancing indecipherability, transcendentalizes intercommunications' incomprehensibleness. \n\n3)Dennis, Nell, Edna, Leon, Nedra, Anita, Rolf, Nora, Alice, Carol, Leo, Jane, Reed, Dena, Dale, Basil, Rae, Penny, Lana, Dave, Denny, Lena, Ida, Bernadette, Ben, Ray, Lila, Nina, Jo, Ira, Mara, Sara, Mario, Jan, Ina, Lily, Arne, Bette, Dan, Reba, Diane, Lynn, Ed, Eva, Dana, Lynne, Pearl, Isabel, Ada, Ned, Dee, Rena, Joel, Lora, Cecil, Aaron, Flora, Tina, Arden, Noel, and Ellen sinned.
131995
1.First one goes in A,B,C,D order and is a pretty weird and funny sentence\n2.In The second one,the no of alphabets in a word increases one after one\n3.The 3rd one reads the same from frontwards and backwards.It's a palindrome
572813
1. footsteps 2. coffin 3.The child was born before 1776 4. Mount Everest, it just hadn't been discovered 5.Clara lives in the northern hemisphere. 6. World War I wasn't called "World War I" until World War II. 7. The word "and". 8.They fall in the same year every year, New Year's Day just arrives very early in the year and Christmas arrives very late in the same year. 9.The lady was a Justice of the Peace. 10. One thousand nine hundred and ninety dollar bills are worth one dollar more than one thousand nine hundred and eighty-nine dollar bills. 11. Only once, then you are subtracting it from 20. 12. An hour and a half IS 90 minutes.13. "one word"\n14. Penguins live in the Antarctic.15. Neither, the yolk of the egg is yellow.16. You have to take a picture of a man with a camera, not with a  wooden leg.17. They were husband and wife. 18. He can't because he's dead. 21. incorrectly 22. 23:03 23. None, the boat rises with the tide. 24.White. If all the walls face south, the house is at the Northpole, and the bear, therefore, is a polar bear. 25. Three. It seems that it could almost be either, but if you follow the mathematical orders of operation, division is performed before addition. So... half of two is one. Then add two, and the answer is three. 26.Sloppy is a goldfish. The wind blew the shutters in, which knocked his goldfish-bowl off the table, and it broke, killing him. 27.None. No matter how big a hole is, it's still a hole: the absence of dirt. (And those of you who said 36 cubic feet are wrong for another reason, too. You would have needed the length measurement too. So you don't even know how much air is in the hole.) 28.Both questions, same answer: the ball in the bucket of 45 degree F water hits the bottom of the bucket first. The 30 degree F water is frozen, and the ball would stop when it hit the ice. 29.\nThe time and month/date/year are 12:34, 5/6/78. 30.An umbrella. 31. One. If he combines all of his haystacks, they all become one big stack.32.The temperature. 33. a shadow 35. Counterfeit money.36. A man with a wooden leg. 37.  Takes over the chicken, returns, takes over the corn and returns with the chicken, takes over the fox, returns again for the chicken. 38.The horse he left on was named "Sunday" and the horse he returned on was named "Tuesday."
610028
Hmm.  Let me seeee.  <unwraps tootsie pop> \n\nA one........\n\nA two.......\n\nA three (CHOMP!!) <Bites tootsie pop>\n\nThree.
148687
Yo mamma is so fat I grew in her stomach.\n\nYo mamma is so thin she was mistakened as a pencil.\n\nYo mamma is so ugly when she looked in the mirror the glass broke.\n\nYo mamma so beautiful when she went to the jungle millions of monkeys chased her.\n\nYo mamma so dumb she pooped on the fried chicken.\n\nYo mamma so smart she she was given lots of prizes and food and she became Big Momma.\n\nYo mamma so mean she killed herself.\n\nYo mamma so kind instead of the puppy to go to the dog pound,she turned herself in.\n\nYo mamma so boring so she tried to make the garbage laugh. \n\nYo mamma so funny she farted so loud on an interview.\n\nYo mamma so curios she ask "Why did nobody ask me why I farted?".\n\nYo mamma so uncurios that she never ask if she was dead.\n\nI put some yo mamma jokes so you can laugh too!!\n\nThe joke you put was extremely funny!!
267846
Boy Zombie:  Bashes in the door to let girl Zombie know he is there.\nGirl Zombie:  Girl Zombie groans to let boy Zombie know that she is ready.\nBoy Zombie:  Gives girl Zombie a corsage he has stolen from the local funeral home.\nBoy and Girl Zombie:  Go to the Prom!\nBoy and Girl Zombie:  At prom eat all the brains of all the other teenagers.\nThere you have it!
37426
patzky99 wrote:\n\ni had read an earlier answer about how we use descriptions of animals' behavior to apply to humans. i'll check back and see if i can find it...\n\nwell of course i can't now. if i recall the gist of it was that we lump some of our 'worst' behaviors along with animals... so you get a 'wolf whistle', or a person or a movie is a 'real dog', or someone is 'crazy like a fox'. some positive behaviors can be ascribed too, 'proud as a peacock' or 'busy as a bee'. perhaps these phrases are just an extension of the days when we assigned human characteristics to the animal world.\n\nwho was that guy who was 'acting like a loon'?  thanks for the 2nd chance :)
570453
1) A nasal sounding singer who married some low-life from Fresno.\n2) An UBER talented co-creator of Tenacious-D who has nothing but MSG coarsing through his veins from a steady diet of fast food.\n3) My wife's drug-dealing uncle who made our black list years ago.\n4) A name I will never give my son.\n5) A no-talent tosser who graduated from Prince of Bel Air to horror sci-fi movies.\n6) A drug-addicted model who makes money being anorexic.\n7) Someone who has her nose firmly up Tom Cruise's butt & is tightly wound around his finger.\n8) A pretty name.
532018
her coochies so stale\nits stinkin\nshes hoping\nthey cant smell it while shes riding dirty\n~cant smell it while shes riding dirty~\n~cant smell it while shes riding dirty~\n\nHer coochies needing\na tic tac\nshes hoping \nthey cant smell thats shes riding dirty
425434
1. Ethel\n2. Longbranch\n3. Gak, can't think of his name...\n4. Goo' night and may gawd bless\n5. U.S. Marines\n6. \n7. \n8. Our Miss Brooks
529263
WHOOOOOOOOOO? I know (2) two of the (4) four. Between the two I know Justin and Shaggy, I like the : dog.\n                                                         the:\n                                                                "Nite"\n                                                                       Owl
216440
1. More than one living relative is named after a southern civil war general. \n\n2. Your front porch collapses and more than six dogs are killed. \n\n3. You've ever used lard in bed. \n\n4. Your home has more miles on it than your car. \n\n5. You think that potted meat on a saltine is an hors d'ouerve. \n\nThe link is there its got tons of lines
151664
An oldie_\n\n3 sisters got married on the same day and all spent the night at their mother's home one last evening.\nThat evening after all had gone to bed the mother decided to listen at each door to see/hear what was going on.\nThe next morning the following conversation took place:\n\nMother to the first daughter:\n"darling I went by your room and all I heard was screaming, what happened to make you scream?"\n1st daughter to  mother:\n"well it was my first time mom and it hurt, that is why I was screaming"\n\nMother to the second daughter:\n"and you, all I heard was laughter coming from your room, what happended to make you laugh?"\n2nd daughter replies:\n"well mom, it tickled so I was laughing"\n\nMother to the third daughter:\n"YOU, I heard not a peep come out of your room, what happened for you to be so quiet?"\n2nd daugheter replies:\n"mom, you taught us not to speak with our mouths full!"\n\nLong but I hope you enjoyed.
372247
1. horse\n2. chocolate\n3. kind of wet and down\n4. blue\n5. Whichever wasn't bad for me!\n6. Yes!\n7. Under my bed, partying with the Boogey Man\n8. Of course!\n9. I don't know!\n10. The sky!\n11. yes... :-)\n12. No! I wanted it to last forever!
177277
Ha ha ha ha!!!!  These are REALLY funny!!  Hmm, I think I like the toothpick one the best.  I also like the one about the bible and old people.  I never really thought about it!  Awesome!\n\nGod Bless
420768
minion\ngroupie\nfamiliar\npuppet\ntrophy\ninspiration\nshe could be a slave, or a succubus, or concubine\nflunky or lackey
291361
muffin cake\nthere's a blue fishy in my poo!\nvampires like red blood because they're vampies.\njackets and coats help keep you warm.\nhoney is really sweet.\nI have this nasty taste in my mouth. I don't know the last time I drank some water(probably 2 or 3 minutes ago...)
177768
1.) Its was ok\n\n2.) I thought this one was pretty cute and funny, made me giggle a little\n\n3.) *YAWN*\n\nHope this helps you know what I think:)