I feel as though I have failed at LIFE. Have I hit bottom? After this car accident where I was hit by a car running from the police that was going 90mph, my insurance(FARMERS is the wost) has left me w/ $20,000 in debt, no car, unable to work, and ruined my perfect credit. I have become dead weight. I used to be a perfectionest, now nothing is perfect. I'm lost.
120637
If God brings you to it, he can take you through it.-God Bless.  When you lose hope, ask God to take your worries and make a consious decision to do what you can and not worry about what you can't. Sit down, write things down and make a timeline and a plan. Don't waste precious time looking at your life as a failure instead think of it as a work in progress. Life is NOT perfect, you will have setbacks beyond your control, but don't do more damage by creating your own setbacks.
595173
Gosh I feel bad for you...sounds like a hardcore case of depression.  It's so easy for other people to just tell you to seek therapy, isn't it?  I have lifelong bipolar disorder, so I know how it feels to have been down in the depths of depression...thankfully for me, I eventually snap out of it and go into "happy" mode.  In my experience, talking to a therapist has not helped.  They ask me a million questions, write them all down and make me feel like a science project, give me a prescription, and send me on my way -- all for $175 for a 30 minute appointment.  I have found that when there is a constant vague feeling of depression for seemingly no reason, it is because I have suppressed that reason.  Identify the sources of your unhappiness.  For me, I finally realized that it was about three different instances in my past that had changed my mindset or my innocence in some way -- made me jaded to the world.  I'm still working on it, but I'm hoping to confront and forgive or be forgiven by the people involved.  And yeah, I've had my heart broken and I still have feelings years later, so it's perfectly normal.  If you have self-esteem issues, work on something that you enjoy and that you are good at -- don't worry if you fail at first, practice makes perfect.  Help others or be a friend.  It's almost impossible to feel low about yourself if you know you are good at something or worth something to someone.  If your self-esteem is in the dumps because you are worried about what people think of you, then don't be.  Look at people who are stupid and unattractive and have confidence -- if they have it, then why shouldn't you?  Basically, you need to recognize meaning in your life.  It's already there, you just need to find it.  All right, enough Dr. Phil crap from me.  Good luck and bless you.
310840
You are not lost at all because you are here right now. I am truly sorry for the tragedies that you have suffered, on the bright side you are truly a survivor. And your life's journey is far from over.Develop the coping skills you already have and you will be just fine.Dont be afraid or feel guilty of being happy because for once you deserve it.God bless and good luck.I hope for many great things for you.
290068
Live under your means.  This means you might be driving a car a lot longer than you might choose to, but if you own it outright, that is saving you car payments.  Don't eat out as much.  Be smart about debt.  Pay off as much as you can toward your credit card each month.  This really hurts in the short term--you have to cut using the card AND make bigger payments.\n\nIt took me a long time to get in front of the 8-ball myself.  I am not rich, but I don't owe anyone any money except for my mortgage.  My mortgage is low and I am making accelerated payments toward principal with the goal of owning the house outright in 3 years.  My car is 13 years old and isn't exactly pretty anymore, but I haven't had a car payment in 10 years.  I can take months off at a time without working because I have such low debt.  That in itself is a huge security.  Living paycheck to paycheck sucks, you never feel in control of your life.  Start taking control, every dollar you can save can go toward your debt and get you on that road to being debt free all that much sooner.\n\nGood luck!
67455
so shy,\nI really feel bad for people in your situation.  But fear not, there are a few things you can do.\n1.  Being that you asked this on a religious board, I'm assuming you belong to a church.  The first thing you need to do is talk to your church leader about this.  They can take up a collection for you to get you out of some immediate debt.  \n2.  You need to really decide what is luxury and need and cut out the luxury for now.  For example, if you subscribe to cable, cancel it.  Unless you need the internet for work, cancel it.  There's an extra $50 a month right there.  \n3.  You can see if you qualify for welfare.  Your local welfare office can help you with this.\n\nI hope this helps and God bless you with your finances.
158491
My god, I thought from reading the initial question you were in need of help after terrible, 'cursy' things have happened to you!\n\nCount yourself lucky that you consider a 'curse' being put in the last lane in track!
84767
Yes I did.  \n\nDue to a ton of stupid mistakes, life disasters, and unforseen problems my life was being destroyed.  \n\nThe new bankruptcy law was about to go into effect.  I was like thousands of others who was on the "bubble".  Waiting to file would cost us far more money.  \n\nI did not see any way of getting ahead for several years.  If I filed for bankruptcy I would be messed up for 5 years (the period of my "plan").  \n\nNo, I am not happy I filed, it's a very depressing time in my life right now.  But the alternative would have been much worse.\n\nThe sad part is if a few of my creditors would work with me....if a couple credit card companies would restore my low credit card rate (accidently went over my credit "limit" and got severely punished)...\n\nNone of them would.  20 years if extremely good credit gets ignored.  So now they get nothing more from me....I guess that's the only silver lining in all of this.\n\nI read that 2/3's of all the chapter 13 bankruptcy plans fail.  I believe it.  \n\nNow I spend a lot of time counseling people on how not to make the same mistakes.
246715
I lost mine once.  I guess I was more mad at myself for being such an idiot than depressed.  My license was in there, luckily no credit cards, some cash, school ID...  Then I thought about people who lose a leg, or an eye, or worse, and I didn't feel so bad.  Plus I'm more careful now, and now there's lots more stuff in there than there was then!
394800
jeez, way to make me feel bad, I don't even remember where I was yesterday much less last year!\n\nSeriously though, it's safe to say that this last year (closer to 18 months)have been the worst in my life. It's kinda sad because a year ago I kept telling myself, "well, at least things can't get much worse", I thought I hit rock bottom. I was wrong. \nOh, gawd...sorry for the emo crap, I should have just stopped at the dumb joke.\nI'm glad things are looking better for you though!
585795
Machelle,\n\nI don't want you to take this the wrong way, but honey, you need to slow your roll.\n\nWatch your actions, they become habit.\nWatch your habits, they become character.\nWatch your character, it becomes destiny.\n\nYou filed for bankruptcy for a reason.  \n\nStop living beyond your means.  You didn't luck up on a car where you owe $10,000 MORE than the trade in value.  $567 a month is rent on a one-bedroom aparment in the South!\n\nThere is nothing shameful about leaving below your means.\n\nRefinancing is not an option in your situation.  You are upside down.  Why would a finance company want to pay your loan off at $23,500 when the value of the car is $10,000 less than the loan?  The collateral is inadequate.\n\nIf you don't pay the refinancer, they have a net loss of $10,000 when they repossess your car from your work place parking lot..\n\nI think you need to return the car to the dealer, take the hit on your credit report, and start riding the bus.  I can NOT believe that you filed for bankruptcy and thought it was cool to pay $567 for a gas-guzzling SUV after you discharged your debts..\n\nYou got the bruise, but didn't learn the lesson.\n\nYour credit is an extension of your character and it is time that you take inventory of your character.\n\nYou are NOT your car.  Who are you flossing for?\n\nGet a used Honda hooptie and make life easier for yourself.
280535
FOLLOW YOUR HEART....I know of some who was in the same postion you are in now...you knw what he did? he sold his house and his car and cashed in on a policy and started his own business...he is so much happier today. Sometimes all you need is a bit of support and encouragement from people who love you, but it has to be something YOU want to do....\n\nI wish you all the best of luck in your future plans...I'm sure you'll come to the right conclusion.
112861
Im sorry to hear about that too.  Im about to lose everything too.  My dad doesn't have much money, or his drivers license, or anyone to watch my lil brothers.  My mom just left for another man, and she pays most of the bills in the house.  So i guess im about to experience what you've been experiencing. But anyways, homegurlz right.  Dr.Phil or Oprah aint going to help you any.  They are way to buissy with their television and stuff.  But never give up hope gurl. So here is the number to Dr. Phil if you want to know, (323.461.PHIL ).  You have to leave your name and your number and a message.  Sorry about your dad too.  I hope he really gets to see his Grandchildren.  If you live around your aunts, uncles, cousins or anybody, ask them to take you and your boys to your dads house.  They might be willing to help out, you never know.
313441
Well I just kept boosting myself up.  I use to feel the same way.  Then I learned you only have one life and if you spend the whole time being sorry for yourself you miss out on tons of awesome experiences.
4874
Im sorry I dont have any help for you. However, I am 26 years old and three years ago I was in a vehicle when similar circumstances occurred. Also resulted in a felony conviction. I have a bachelors degree in economics and have just applied to law schools. I know its very discouraging. I dont expect to get into any schools, but I am trying everything under the sun. If I do get into law school, I am going to make it a huge priority to help people trying to get into the workforce to be successful.
174171
I was saddened to see that an a$$hole showed up before I could answer you, but maybe it is a blessing in disguise. There will always be those out there who are willing and even anxious to see you stumble, and the sooner you develop coping skills for dealing with them, too the better off you'll be. But I want to congratulate you on your choice for recovery, and I wish for you every good thing life has to offer. One day at a time. Be well.
122759
Yes i am. I dont care if i am driving down the street and not speeding or doing anything wrong... i still feel like oh my gosh look straight, make sure im not swirving in the least, make sure i am not going even one mile over. i do not know why i am like this but i am. i have been pulled over for a burnt out tailight and i had a panick attack.LOL. im serious though i did. i also got pulled over for speeding and no joke i cried. not to get out of it, i was only 17 and it was the first time i had been pulled over. i think he really felt bad for me so he did let me go but honestly i didnt cry to get out of it im just an emotional person.
548490
dumbest thing, easy one, i bought a 2005 chevy cavalier for a commuter car for 10 g's i was so busy with my new job and just having a baby that i did not put it on insurance well u have 30 days to put it on insurance well i totaled it 45 days after i bought it. my insurance covered the liability part which i'm totally greatful for but they did not cover my car! so 10 g's down the drain. i ended up selling it as is for 1400. BIGGEST REGRET OF MY LIFE!!!!