A man walks into a bar and asks for a glass of water. The bartender pulls out a shotgun and points it at him. The man says, thank you and leaves. Why
119718
Answer: The man had the hiccups and the water helped him stop it, and the gun scared him which also help stop his hiccups as well.
10577
He put a glass of water over his head
657083
if someone has hiccups,and someone scares that person,then the hiccups go away.so the bartender just wanted to scare the guy so the hiccups can go away instead of drinking water.OH!!!i get it!!then that is when he sayd thank you for getting rid of the hiccups!
513093
THese questions are usually to get you to talk.  To see if you have been drinking.  You can answer them in a generic terms.  Where are you coming from ?\nFrom the store.\nWHere are you going to ?\nHome.\netc...
206922
the guy had the hiccups and when the bartender pointed the gun at him he was cured
383262
To  tell the truth I did consult page 360 but being a novice could not locate any solution.\n\nI hazard the guess that the incident has something to do with ROCKS.\n\nDid the revengful bartender hit the shy gentlemen with the gin on ROCKS that  felled him?\n\nOr did he fall on the ROCKS?\n\nEither way it could have hit him hard.\n\nHe should not have gone in for the gin on ROCKS!
217970
It's about drinking beer.
248381
The definitions of the establishment's responsibility for a drunk patron are fuzzy.\n\nA bartender is obligated to cut-off a person that they perceive to be intoxicated. However, this is a vague definition. The bartender may not notice that you are slurring, for example, if he doesn't pay attention to your conversations. It often boils down to one person's word against another. \n\nThe result of this law is that if you were to get in a wreck and hurt someone, THAT person could sue the establishment for negligence. However, you will not be held blameless, either. If you kill someone, you could be charged with vehicular manslaughter or vehicular homicide. You could be charged with attempted v. mansl. or attempted v. homicide if you only hurt someone. That's a criminal charge, whereas the charge of negligence would be a civil matter. The establishment would also likely be fined and be in danger of losing their liquor license.\n\nYou cannot sue the bartender or the establishment for damages because you got a DUI. Getting a DUI is YOUR fault and you are on your own. It's only when there's some kind of harm to an innocent that an establishment can be held responsible for personal damages. You can file a complaint with the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, and Firearms (ATF) and they will investigate and possibly impose fines or suspension of the liquor license. Not likely, though.\n\nIt happens often that people get visibly drunk in bars. And, it happens often that people hurt others in accidents as a result. The problem is proving that the bartender knew that the person was drunk. Another problem is proving where the person got drunk in the first place. If they can't remember leaving the bar, then it isn't likely that a jury or a judge would accept their claim that they remember where they got drunk in the first place. Many people bar-hop, for instance. What if you went somewhere else after you left that bar? You see the problem. Many people that get in trouble will also not "rat" and will say that they don't remember where they have been or that they were drinking at home.\n\nI could keep going, but this is getting long...
568621
Yes it happened to me. Last year on my birthday I went out with my friends to the usual bar. Immediately upon walking in the door, I was greeted by the owner with a shot in his hand. He tells me Happy Birthday, hands me the shot, I drink it and immediately run out the front door (closer than the bathroom) Everyone came out to see me puking on the sidewalk. I don't even know what the shot was, all I know is it was some kind of tequila. I don't trust him anymore. lol
155675
In British pubs, particularly in earlier times, bartenders kept track of customers' purchases on a slate behind the bar. Beer was sold in pints or quarts (the size of the glasses or mugs the beer was served in - no bottles back then), and had to pay up before they left. Hence, mind your Ps and Qs meant keep an eye on the tab you were running.
612118
A shot and a beer chaser, should fix you right up.
663260
There was poison in the ice!!!!!!!!\nThe first guy had his drink b4 the ice could melt and the second guy................sniff sniff had no such luck!!!!!
250570
NEVER open the door to an alien...Are you crazy? Tell him where the water faucet is outside or where the nearest convenience store is, but through a closed and locked door.
466203
Real Funny.\n\nRead this one\n\nThe Deaf Genie\n\nA man walks into a bar with a paper bag. He sits down and places the\nbag on the counter.\n\nThe bartender walks up and asks what's in the bag.\n\nThe man reaches into the bag and pulls out a little man, about one\nfoot high, and sets him on the counter. He reaches back into the bag\nand pulls out a small piano, setting it on the counter as well.\n\nHe reaches into the bag once again and pulls out a tiny piano bench,\nwhich he places in front of the piano.\nThe little man sits down at the piano and starts playing a beautiful\npiece by Mozart!\n\n"Where on earth did you get that?" says the bartender.\n\nThe man responds by reaching into the paper bag.\nThis time he pulls out a lamp. He hands it to the bartender and\nsays..."Here. Rub it."\n\nSo the bartender rubs the lamp, and suddenly there's a gust of smoke\nand a beautiful genie is standing before him.\n\n"I will grant you one wish. Just one wish...each person is allowed only one!"\n\nThe bartender gets really excited.\n\nWithout hesitating he says, "I want a million bucks!"\n\nA few moments later, a duck walks into the bar.\nIt is soon followed by another duck, then another.\nPretty soon, the entire bar is filled with ducks and they keep coming!\n\nThe bartender turns to the man and says, "Y'know, I think your genie's\na little deaf...I asked for a million bucks, not a million ducks."\n\n"Tell me about it!!" says the man...\n\n"Do you really think I asked for a 12 inch pianist?"\n\nBYE - Imtiyaz G
485652
ARE YOU DRUNK RIGHT NOW?\n\nCause by the grammar used on your question, it seems like it.\n\n Im not under d affluence of incohol as some tinkle peep.Im not half as thunk as u drink.I fool so feelish and da drunker i stand here da longer i get.\n\n\nLOL
36618
The homeless man is just responding to what the other man said to him.  That he had no food or money.  So the Homeless man is trying to help the other man in the only way he can.  He has the right to say it.  Whether the other man needs his help is to be debated.
347822
Not a joke, but a true story re Tommy.  He got out of a London cab, and pressed something into the hand of the cabbie and said,"have a drink on me".   Thanks guv, said the cabbie.  When he looked he had been given a T bag.