I have always been a high performer, but of late i discovered that i avoid testing myself for fear failing. I need to get over this since it seems to be keeping me stagnant. help
129544
NEVER be afraid of failing.  If something doesn't work out the way you planned, you just learned something new.\n\nBe more afraid of fast and easy success.
209686
u could try doing something u have been afraid to do that helps to build confedence dressing smart for work not the useual way u dress will make u feel important like u have things undercontrol that also shows people ur confident but always be urself but dont take crap from no one stand ur ground in any situation if u can do that it will help gain selfasteam
165935
I know where you are coming from. Find something that you are good at, and do it. If you are crap at everything, find something you WANT to be good at, and work your ass off until you are good at it. Being talented has a remarkable way of boosting your self-esteem. My personal suggestions... cooking, music, conversation. You also sound young. I don't mean that in a derogatory way, so please do not be offended. Awkwardness is the natural state of affairs for adolescents. It will pass.
183193
it sounds like maybe you have performance anxiety, like maybe you're afraid of doing the work so your body kicks in so you don't have to. this happens to me, too. i think i'm afraid of being judged. is there a counselor you could talk to about this? could be something like ADD, too, or just an inability to concentrate. good luck.
382592
talk to a friend who has already aced it, to build your own self-confidence.  Remember some of those who have already passed it.  If they did, you know you can do it.
417840
You may be taking yourself too seriously. Learn to laugh-and appreciate -yourself! Takes practice.
503195
I think you have been blaming youself too much for your failures. Look, there is no other choice but to do the best you can from now on. And that takes positive thinking. Once you have the right mindset, you feel relaxed and your mind will be more receptive to new idea and information. Your marks will improve soon.\n\nDont worry. Be interested in what you study. And don't blame yourself when you get bad marks! Tell yourself 'next time, i'm going to do better'.
457970
I would look closely to see why you failed twice. Could it be you are nervous? or didn't remember some stuff? Once you figured out why you failed, it should be easy to work on just that. Contact a local rescue squad to see if they assist. Good luck.
248777
Why don't you go to a career counseling service, or something like Workforce, which is free, and do a survey which will show you areas you have strengths in, and what area of work you would best fit in. Make a list of all the things you would really like to do. \nAlso, why are you afraid of failing? Who in your life makes you feel fear if you DO fail? \nI went through this as well...turned out, after some soul searching, i realized that I needed my mother to validate my life choices. When i realized that, while i value her opinion, my choices are ultimately that, MY choices, and that each time you make a major life change people are going to give you crap, initially, and while you can respect and value their opinion, you certainly don't need it to make you feel like a whole person. Good luck to you!
318262
If you are doing the other things, exude confidence^ is the next way to go. Stand tall with good posture, don't be apprehensive or indecisive.
182752
dont stress over it or you will stop the great thing u r doing for yourself try to make a game out of it good luck and keep it up
56321
You are probably trying too hard to impress.  Be yourself and your true personality will show.  Ultimately, you want to be with people that accept you for who you are, otherwise you will need to "put on an act" everytime you are around them.\n\nOne way to take the edge off your personality, is to join a group like toastmasters or take a night class that deals with public speaking or even "acting", improv, or similar.  You'll be amazed to find that when you are around others who are relaxed, it rubs off.  \n\nIn the end...relax, be yourself and don't be so hard on yourself.  Everyone is human.
539919
Its never easy once you have your walls up so high no one finds them worth climbing to get in anymore. Fear is only one part of it for myself there are many reasons for locking yourself away from others. Give yourself time and learn as much as you can about yourself while spending this time alone. The better you know yourself the less likely you are to be mistreated again if and when the times comes that you are ready to.\n-NmD!
251714
This is a habit that will be important throughout life.  People often like to worry about things that they have no control over. You need to learn to put those worries aside. The time to be concerned about your success on exams is PAST.  Any worrying you do now is only unnecessary pain.  Why would you continue to torture yourself.  This should be your time to enjoy.  You won't have another time like this to relax.  As soon as you discover your results, you will suddenly be focused on preparing to go to university, and will have little time for enjoyment.  Right now, you should relax and focus on other things.  Make yourself a note on the calendar for the day when you should expect results.  Until that day, don't even think about it.\n\nI recommend doing volunteer work.  Sometimes, if you focus on the needs of others, it puts your own worries in perspective.\n\nBest of luck to you on your future education.
413159
I really wonder if deep down you are afraid.   You want this success but are you nervous as to whether you are capable.  Do you have self doubt?  If this is the case then write out a step by step plan and take that first step.   Three years from now where would you like to be?  How will you feel if you are not there or at another place where you feel content with yourself?\n\nIt sounds like you need to do some confidence building first.   You really can reach your goals but you have to be brave and begin the journey and when the journey gets tough....you get tough too.\n\nGood luck
505889
Hi Raiden,  well..you are going to get alot different ways to look at your situation.  You sound like an honest, straight-forward kind of guy that has had to deal with alot in 18 years.  My heart goes out to you and if I had the answers I would tell you..but if I told you they would only be the "answers" for myself.  You are the only one that holds all the answers for what is right for you.  As frustrating as that may sound to you it is actually good news.  You don't have to follow any one elses path.  This life is your journey and you are not asking too much out of it.  Sometimes the only thing that holds us back is our own fears...fear of getting hurt, fear of rejection, fear of judgment, fear of failure... I want you to try something for me.  ask yourself what you would do today if you weren't afraid.  Don't push yourself into anything just think about it.  When you are ready you will know it.  There is nothing wrong with you.  You weren't put on this earth to suffer you were put here to discover.  And if you believe nothing else...please believe me that how you feel about yourself and life today will be different with each passing day.
336149
Confidence is a mental thing.  I had the opposite problem, I was insanely skinny, and had no muscle on my body.  Even after I got rip and cut, I still didn't have confidence.  What helped me, is that I took up interests the helped develop me as a person.  For example, I took on karate.  It was hard for me to pick up, but once I got into a rhythm I felt better about myself.  Also, I stopped putting myself down, and tried to look at everything in a positive light.  For example, when things didn't work out for me in anything, I just realized I needed to be proud of myself for at least giving it my best shot.  Finally, NEVER STOP LEARNING.  Try to learn something new every day if you can.  Read newspapers, magazines, keep up with current events, etc.  If you pick hobbies that will develop you, look at the positive, and constantly try to learn about the world around you, you will develop more confidence in who you are.  I wish you well!