I really like dis boi i jus hooked up with but he jus (just as in about a month may be less)came out of a long relationship(over one year) with this grl..but she has a boifriend now and they both seem to be over it and coo with eachother...but sum have sed its hard to b with sum1 jus coming out of a long relationship....so i want to kno:\n1)IS IT HARD TO B WITH SUM1 LIKE THIS\n2)WAT CAN I DO TO MAKE THINGS GO BETTER/OR NEVER GET BAD\n3)JUS NE ADVICE ABOUT HELPING TO KEEP OUR RELATIONSHIP GOING GOOD..\n\n~*~PLEASE NOTE THAT I AM ONLY IN 9TH GRADE (A FRESHMAN IN HIGHSCHOOL..ALMOST A SOPH.) SO I AM NOT LOOKING FOR SEX AS THE ANSWER!ALTHOUGH FOR NE AGE THAT IS A BAD CHOICE~*~
136839
If he has just come out of a long relationship, don't push this too hard.  Just be there as a friend to start with, and let him know you are there for him.  When he's ready for a relationship, he'll let you know.
249939
Deepthinker (I love your name!)\n\nFor starters - This is something to remember -- on one hand, it is a GOOD thing to examine your steps, and decisions.   Too many teens (and everyone in general) do things without considering the consequences.\n\nOn the other hand -- TOO much introspection can lead you to stay in neutral.  Don't get me wrong -- if I were to choose between a regrettable, impulsive act, vs waiting too much, I'd still choose the wait.\n\nBut there are OTHER issues in life where you will need to recognize the person in you that procrastinates.   And, sometimes, waiting for the perfect moment, has its drawbacks.\n\nOK -- NOW, ON TO YOUR QUESTION:\n\nLet's examine your statements, one by one.   ("Your thoughts in quotes").   "I just don't want it because I'm still young but I really like him".\n\nOnly you know when you're ready for a relationship.   Respect that intuition.   However, if it's the fear of the unknown that's stopping you, then you can set the guidelines.  And take it real slow.   Just friends learning about each other.   That way, if he's not "the one", there won't be any hurt feelings, or lingering emotions.\n\nThe fact that you like him is worth noting.   Only you know why, so maintain a balance -- enjoy the moment, and keep your emotions on check, you know.\n\n"NOW AFTER A YEAR HE STILL LIKES ME AND HE'S WAITING"\n\nI don't know if that's typical of teens these days.   When I was a teen, I'd wait for someone to show her I wasn't playing the field, or that she was the one.   But I was just too shy to open my mouth, too!   Waiting a year for someone is admirable if the guy has raging hormones (sorry, to use that term), but shouldn't be a big deal in the sense that anyone with character would have these qualities.   \n\nI guess it's a good thing -- not spectacular, but good.\n\n"MIGHT NOT WORK FOR BOTH OF US.  I FEEL WE HAVE A LOT OF DIFFERENCES."\n\nThat will be an issue if the relationship goes long-term.  And it's not a bad thing.  Differences are what makes couples stronger.  If your communication skills are good, and your emotional levels are mature, you can help one another realize something about themselves (e.g  A blind spot, or something you can make them stronger in ).\n\nIt doesn't work if neither of you is willing to overlook the differences.   It won't work if neither of you are able to yield on these differences.  \n\nI don't know exactly what these differences are.  If they're cultural -- that's significant, though NOT impossible to work out.   If these differences are something like hobbies, or interests -- well, if you like one another, you will learn to appreciate what that other person is into, and it will add to your life experience.  However, if it's something like he's into sports, and you're not -- well, again, you can work it out.  Couples need to give one another space on some issues.\n\n"I ALSO BELIEVE HE REALLY LOVES ME BECAUSE ... MORE OF A DECADE."\n\nThe decade part is more of a consideration.  There IS something valuable in knowing someone for 10 years, even if you never spent time with one another.  It's significant in that the time to observe and indirectly share in a timespan has its value.\n\nYou don't, and won't know if he really loves you, DT.  True love is more than a feeling, or needing companionship.  It's unconditional.  It's mutual respect.  It's about forgiveness and acceptance.\n\n"SHOULD I GIVE US A CHANCE?"\n\nFriendship is always a good thing.  Just take it slow.  Don't have any expectations.   Keep a watch on the doubts, and see if they evaporate with time, and what caused them to leave.   If they left because of physical contact (and it's WAY too early, for that, and can lead to shortcuts you might regret later).\n\nBut, if those doubts leave because o
41602
You really like this guy, but you think he is to old for you? He is to old for you, forget him untill you are 18, seriously he could actually get in some deep trouble if lets say you two hooked up and he turned 18 and you are still a minor, for instance you two are lets say having sex. \n\nNot trying to be mean but I really would doubt he will give you the time of day, you are in Jr. High and he's a Junior in High School. Think of the &$%# he would get if he was dating a girl in Jr. High. I'd move on if I was you, age does matter when it comes to one being a minor and the other is of legal age. ( or in this case probably close to legal age )
639674
As with any relationship, there are things we like and dislike about the other person.  My guess is that on balance, your ex "likes" you, but not enough for the relationship to keep progressing.  Maybe he likes you in small doses.  I'm sure you have friends like that, too.  It could also be that there are a few annoying things about you that he forgets about until he sees you for a while.\n\nAs far as wanting to fool around with you, I don't know.  I do remember when I was that age...I couldn't possibly have gotten enough.  Sometimes sex (or whatever) is just sex.  It doesn't necessarily mean anything, especially if he is not going to be in a committed relationship with you.\n\nIf you like the guy's company, and you don't mind fooling around for pleasure's sake, go for it.  However, if you think you two are going to hook back up...it probably won't happen, or if it does, it won't last long.  Whatever caused you to fall apart the first time hasn't gone away and it will happen again.\n\nNobody is perfect, but find someone more perfect for you.\n\nGood luck,\nC
366583
This is tough. Everyone is in a difficult situation when a guy likes a girl in a relationship, no matter the status of the relationship. I'd say be a friend to her. Hang out with her in moderation so as to not arouse suspicion from the current boyfriend. Give her moral support if she needs it during a possibly impending breakup, but do NOT encourage her to break up with him for you, in any way/shape/form. This could cause gossip, this could cause her to see you as a housebreaker, this could cause boyfriend of the day to kick your ass. And right after she breaks up with him, if this happens, it is not the right time to ask her out. You don't want to be the rebound. And you don't want her when she's just getting over that. It's not the right start to a healthy relationship. Be that good friend for a week, two, as long as you can wait after the breakup, and if you're sure she likes you, ask her out... or maybe sparks will fly before then... anyways... good luck in this hella conundrum
499776
Dude, I had one girlfriend in high school that lasted two months.  It took me a while to catch up on learning but now I can proudly say that I need more than two hands to count the partners I've had, and I'm 33.  The majority of people I were with were in a relationship with me for more than a year, so it's not like I constantly slept around.  At 28 years old I got tired of being a nice guy and decided to only make myself happy instead of always putting others ahead, and it has paid off well.  You still have to think with your brain more than your male appendage though.\n\nEven now I can still go to the clubs hanging out with my girlfriend (been together over a year), and I know the married couples that don't look too happy are envying me.  Just don't get married early and ruin it.  think of it this way too.  When you're in high school you really only connect with those in your school.  When you're in college the number of available women expands.  Then when you're in the real world it's a meat market.\n\nI can't say us males don't measure another guy in the number of women that he's conquered, but just play it safe and you won't have to hear from those same males on how many child support payments they make or avoid.
237941
Aww, this reminds me of My friend Lauren and I. We got together, she loved me, I love her, but outside pressures made it very hard for me to cope with Us. I understand where  your girl is coming from and I also understand where you are coming from. You can't make someone stay if they don't want to. And you shouldn't try if you see that they aren't happy. Especially if it starts to make you unhappy. I would suggest letting her do what she wants. Let her know that you care for her and want her to be happy and that you are there for her but draw the line somewhere. Let her know that she does hurt your feelings by doing these things and let her know that she can't be so flippant and careless. Lauren and I are good friends now and sometimes I look at her and feel a pang, but I know that we would have both been miserable if we stayed together with all the problems we were having. Sometimes its better to let something go to keep a friendship than to draw out a love affair and have it end in hatred...Oh yeah, I think that she should take some time to figure herself out without any outside influences from you or other guys or girls. The hardest thing to do is to truly know and love yourself. You are always your own worst critic....Good Luck!
459141
i think what you are trying to get at or say is that guys wont move on from their girlfriend whom they can get regular sex from until they find someone else or some other means of getting regular sex. this guy sounds like a tool. end it now, save yourself from the heart arche and from being used.
301749
Check this out:\n\nThis girl that I really liked, that I had been do'n...back in my freshman year of college came over to me and my best friends dorm room one night to meet me.  I was way late getting back from something and basically the same thing happened, except he didnt nail her.  They were just messing around.  I didn't catch them in the act.  He told me later that night even though I never suspected a thing.\n\nI know it sounds way shady, but I was never really all that pizzed, because it was better to find out she was a skeezer from him than the entire fraternity!  More importantly, he came clean.\n\nWhere you fugged up is still hanging with her after your buddy got all pizzed.  You should have kicked her to the curb that night and explained to your buddy that it was a good thing that you found out for him that she was a skeezer.  \n\nDid he love this chick?  Did you know he loved her?  If he talked to you about love and was all about this girl, then you really messed up.  YOu also messed up by not kicking the girl to the curb the night of the incident.  If you were a real good friend and valued him, you would have done that...dont you think?
451205
i know this is gonna sound easier said then done.. but tell him that. if from talking you feel he's into you..ask him if he feels like more could come out of this then just a hook-up. if he feels the same way then great! and if not, well then you can move on or just keep it a random hook up. but seriously talk to him about it because you don't wanna have to end up wondering, "what if i said something?" because if you wait too long it might be too late. and the worst that can happen is him say that he doesn't want a relationship - but he's obviously into you if you guys hooked up
44196
looks like you've gotten some good advice already.  \nlooks like ya done made your move too.\n\ni'm sure you done right by getting rid of him, especially if he became rebelious or defensive or even if he acted like you were the nut.\n\ni'm gonna assume that ya (now x-) bf was at least within 10 years of your age.  now with that info, i ask you to think for a minute... has he been stand-offish, less attentive, communication getting (well,) different maybe even less, then it was best to jump out now.  after all ya not kids any more in high school playing with teenage emotions.\nbut.....\n\nif things haven't changed to the worest or haven't been getting boreing, then maybe this guy is telling the truth or maybe he does like the name andrew or maybe he does have a gay attraction, that maybe he, himself hasn't realalized.\n\n\nnaaah...  stick with the breack-up and find you a real man that doesn't want to play headgames, because that is exactly what he's doing to you.  i'm sorry if it hurts your heart/feelings, but it's better now than a few months or years down the road.
487786
Hello:\n\nOne of the hardest things I have ever had to realize is that loving someone isn't enough to make a relationship work. \n\nI was in a long term relationship with a guy, whom I was in love with. The only problem was that he was insanely jealous, and I am a little too trusting. He would assume I was cheating on him, if I had a conversation with a guy friend (a guy friend that I had been friends with long before I met my boyfriend). And if I saw him chatting with a random girl I would just assume they were chatting, and nothing more. I should also say that I have never cheated on a boyfriend, much less cheated on this guy. \n\nEventually he started to push the limits more and more when it came to making me jealous, so much so that he started making out with a girl at a party we had gone to together. Even though afterwards he told me that it didn't mean anything, but that he wanted me to feel jealous, it was too hurt to try to make the relationship work. \n\nWe had a long talk and learned that we had spent so much time trying to hurt each other, that we didn't have anytime to enjoy each other. Obviously our relationship was disfunctional, and I'm happy to say we are both in relationship and are successful and we are still friends with one another.\n\nThe relationship I have now is fantastic. But we still do have problems. The best thing I have done in this relationship is that we face issues head on. But we both know how we each deal with stress. When I am stressed I like to be left alone, where as he likes to be distracted and just take a break from it all. We are able to recognize when we are stressed, and how we can help the other one deal with the problem. \n\nI would suggest that you wait it out. You've been in a relationship that has been successful for so long. Wait until he has started school and starts feeling comfortable there. But be supportive and if he doesn't want to talk to you about his feelings - just let him know that you are there for him if he ever needs to talk or a distraction. \n\nI hope this helps and good luck!
119296
I'd avoid getting involved in this mess. If she likes you, let her figure out how to work it out. She sounds a little flaky to me. What happens when someone more interesting comes along once you two hook up? Is she going to want to be friends with him? See my point?
532686
I felt that way about some girlfriends I had in high school, but in time the relationships that I thought could never end, did end.  It seems so impossible when a relationship is going well like that, that it could ever end, but it happens all the time, and takes you by surprise.  That said, I have known people who did make it through many years after high school, so it does happen successfully sometimes.  I would say that more often than not, high school relationships do not remain long term, but there are always exceptions, and you may be one of them.  Best of luck!\n\n~Kyle
126795
I think it would be better off if you stayed friends. She has just been dumped by her boyfriend. You are getting ready to go away to college. Congrats! Anyway, this girl needs time to heal with the current breakup situation. She is too young to be concerning herself with breaking up with the boyfriend, the pain of being dumped, getting a cool new boyfriend who is only going to be around for a couple of more months. Be her friend. Try not to initiate anything more. This girl has enough to deal with already. Take care.
11312
Well thats tough...his friend is your EX right?  Therefore, it may be akward but it shouldn't be that bad.  But that really depends on how you guys broke up.  If it was bad and you guys aren't friends try to catch your guy at a time when he isn't with your ex.  In the hallway, a free period, after school, walking home/to transportaion.  Try and become friends with him.  Strike up a convo with him.  Learn his interests and show intrest in them.  Make him laugh and smile.  He'll appreciate you for it.  Don't try to hard though.  Once you guys are friends move foward from there.
628015
Me personally, girls with a long history are not my cup of tea, other than for sex, but no relationships. A girl that was with 9 dudes before you has a real bad indicator for any real meaningful relationship for you, also listen to a guy, since you are a guy in this issue (see how most answers were by females, and the classical " don't look at the past" . Well, that does not work that way for most guys. Plus If it bothers you now, it is going to bother you more in the future if you want to get more serious with her. For your own sanity if you want to take this relationship to the next level, and you don't want to cheat on her (all guys that I know that had this problem eventually cheated on their gfs/wives, and did justify the cheating on this fact) now if you just want to be with her for a while, and have no plans of going beyond that, then stick with her until you move to your next relationship, but it is really up to you\nbest luck