ok my best friends aunt has just died and she was pretty much like my aunt to and they way we found out she was dead was by bringing her her dinner...we found her dead....say huh?? well now we are both depresed and we want to talk to eachother but we can! what should we do??
120650
See a grief counselor
87024
You are using a coping mechanism right now...by reaching out to others. We cannot say the right words to you to make everything all right. You need time to process your loss and allow yourself to greive. Things will never be the same but in time it will get easier. \nAlthough this is hard for you, believe that God had a bigger plan for your relatives. I believe everyone has a plan in life and God decided that it was time for your relatives to come home. However, that is not to say you will never see them again. They will be waiting patiently for you when it is your time. \nHang in there!
303165
you just really need totalk to someone. i lost a frien to suicide unfortunately i was in the room when it happened. i know how hard it is. i also had to attend 23 funerals in 10 months jst a few years ago between friends and family i wasn't surei wold make it either i really felt like my world was caving in on me. the thing that got me throgh it was my husband he always talked me through things, to this day he still makes sure i don't forget thememories of those friends and family members. one other thing i did was write letters to the people i was closest to especially my mom when i was feeling as you are now. i've read them at later times some i just keep in a box. good luck and please talk to someone!
245294
The only way to really deal with it is in your own way. You have to let yourself feel the greif that comes with losing someone close to you. Remember that you are in no way to blame for your friend's death. Many people belive that they could have done something to prevent it but the sad truth is that you really have no control when a person wants death. It's going to be a hard process that will take time because you were close to this person but don't try to avoid the feelings. Pay your respects at the funeral to get some closure and maybe talk to their family. They are going through the same kind of emotions you are right now and you may be able to support eachother. If you find that you just can't function don't give up and seek some help from a psychologist. Anyone going through this kind of greif can use someone unbaised to talk to so don't feel bad talking to a counsellor of some sort. Above all just give it some time and try not to bottle up your feelings. It will get better and you don't need to feel guilty when you start to become happy again. Your friends would have wanted it that way.\n\nTake care.
99367
I'm sorry for your loss.  It's going to take some time to get yourself back to feeling normal again.  You should keep yourself busy with activities, visit with your friends, try a grieving support group, take up a hobby, find things that interests you, talk to a good friend or someone you haven't seen in a while.
432009
wow you have a problem.  You are going to lose somebody.  If  you talk to your best freind,  Your sister is in big trouble and I'm sure you will be held responsible.  After all, she's not responsible enough to control her own life, its very likely she'll blame you.  If you say nothing and your Best friend finds out you knew,  you lost the Best friend.  I'd say you have to talk to the Best friend and let her know whats up.  She deserves to know so she doesn't make a decision that she will have to live with.
561476
I know she may not be able to respond but deep down I really think part of her understands. It may feel weird, but I think you should talk to her like she can understand. Just talk to her, tell her about your fun times together. Tell her your going to miss her. If you don't you will feel terrible later for it. You need to just put in your last words now before it's to late.
245791
You mean, your birthday and his birthday were on the same day and, coincidentally, it was the day when your friend was buried? Wow! Okay, if this is the situation, then I have a solution that might work. Convince yourself that death is just being born again (as another entity in another world or as a superior being - just energy, maybe). Then go to your friend's grave on that day and put something symbolic on the grave, something that represents a birthday gift. Wish him happy birthday wherever he might be. Then go and have fun for both of you. \n   Even if you don't do that, you HAVE to do something, otherwise you'll blame your dead friend for your feeling bad on your birthday, which will mean the end of the friendship and you don't want this to happen, do you?
127636
I am feeling for you today - I lost two people, unrelated back to back last Wed and Thursday..its been brutal its been one of the worse weeks of my entire life and I too am feeling..have I done enough?? And yes..I have...\n\nAll you can do is be there for him. Talk to him, or dont talk when he doesn't want to. You can call him and ask how he is doing, you can take him to dinner and take his mind off of it and give him a sense of normalcy and a few minutes of a reprieve from the sadness, you can bake a lasagna and bring it to his house so he doesn't have to worry about cooking..\n\nBut believe me - your friendship is enough. that you are caring and going through it with him..\n\nMy friend who lost his in utero baby at 5 months said to me..We are on the first rung of the grieving ladder - at the very top..and you are right behind us on the second..\n\ndamn straight I am..I'm holding their legs and keeping them steady on the first rung and will catch them if they go to fall...as will you with your friend.\n\nJust be there..its enough. take care and hang in there.
548872
Hi hon!\nThis happened to a friend of mine also.  He was 19, had cancer.  Was on some serious medication, but was getting by.  Then we all stopped hearing from him.  Visited his house, but his mom said he had died.  But his shoes were in the hallway.\nSo we all grieved, and moved on.  \nYears later he showed up on one of my friends doorstep.  His mom had told all his friends that he had died.  What a bitch.\nMaybe he didn't want people to see him like that.  Maybe his mom thought his friends would stress him out.  I don't know.  All I do know is we aren't friends with him anymore, we wish him well, but what a terrible thing to do to your "friends".\nSo I shared a little something with you there didn't I?  Take it for what it is, an experience.  Perhaps you aren't getting the whole story either!\nHave a great week...
525283
Just honestly, maybe even akwardly if you need to be, tell him how much you actually like him. You may feel stupid when you say it, but if he does unfortunately pass away, then at least he knows how you feel, and that he has a real true friend. And I'm sure that he'll love hearing that he's really appreciated and respected. Good luck!
136758
I cant even begin to imagine how you are feeling.  I know you want to follow her but would SHE want that?  I can bank that it is no.  You need to seek therapy.  You are very depressed right now.  While thats normal, you need the help to ensure you dont do anything stupid.  The pain you are going through is probably the worst you have ever felt in your life.  Take it one day at a time.  If that doesnt help, take it one minute at a time.  Talk to people.  Let them know how you are feeling just like you did here.  Never let yourself be alone right now.  But do greive her death.  Thats healthy.  You will be fine and every day it does get a little easier.  I have lost 3 kids and 3 sisters and my dad so I can relate a little.  Know that you have a friend here and you are not alone.
209687
I'm very sorry for your losses. Allow yourself to grieve, even if you have to be strong for everyone else. Find someone you can talk about it with, even if they only listen. Find a friend to talk to that has lost someone and can understand how you are feeling. You could also find an online chat for people dealing with a loss. I hope things get better.
366449
I have not lost a parent. I have lost a brother. We were approx. 12 months apart in age. He died drinking and driving when I was 20 and he was 19. I was devastated, but never cried about it. He and I had talked about death but not our own. There isn't a day goes by I don't think about him. I am sad, on the inside, but not depressed. I can talk about him with great pride and conviction without crying a drop. And about the loss..... is there anyway to describe the feeling of emptiness and loss? No, but we can not dwell on what we can not change. I do know that my life would be completely different if he were here. I moved 1000 miles from home, just to get away from the sadness, it didn't help. But it did change the whole direction of my life. I will not say that it is a mental illness to have feeling like this, but it is very difficult to express the way you truly feel. I try not to talk about it but feel better when I do. His birthday was last week 10/25. Mine is today.
329435
Just be there for her no matter what she says to you. Hold her and be there for her and when she is feeling better let her talk as much as she needs to about what happened. Never say that you know how she feels because you don't even if this has happened to you before, everyone grieves differently.
503007
yes! A REALISTIC HONEST PERSON ON THIS GD DAMND SITE! my aunt died a few years ago and was dead for a while. she came back and said she saw nothing as well. but ask anyone else in my family, and she saw a miraculous light with angels reaching out to her. i guess the fact THAT YOU WERE BROUGHT BACK TO LIFE isn't a big enough "miracle." now you have to lie!
385896
There's nothing wrong with you...everyone reacts differently. I lost a neice 2 months ago...i cried for maybe 2 days and then after that I kind of went on.....I also thought there was something wrong with me. You dont need to cry to mourn someone. Its best to remember them and laugh at the good times you guys had....remembering someone is also a way to mourn. So dont worry....your perfectly normal...and I am very sorry. My prayers go out to you and your family.