If you've been following along my questions, you can tell I've had it odd recently, lol. Here's the thing, we fight, mother to daughter, like normal. But this time it felt different. Not the fight, the fights are always dramatic as usual. But my mom seemed really upset, and she's still mad the day after. She's giving me the cold shoulder like, and treats me like an outsider. I've sent her an e-mail, because I can't bear confronting her face to face (I'm getting teary writing this), I wouldn't be able to finish. Long story short: I said to brother over IM a bad word and how I didn't like her music. She read it, she gets upset PLUS I forgot to help clean up while she is gone (which I do a lot) and she gets dramatic on how we (the family) take her for granted for cleaning up the house. What should I do? I feel terrible.
137994
Your mother is still a human being, she may think you hate her, and imagine if the person you love more than anything started hating you.  How would you feel?  My mother and I have a very rocky past, but In the end, a simply, tear-filled, "I love you" gets the point across.  It sounds like she has her hands full with the house, and is hurt about how you acted.  On the other hand, it also sounds like she isn't quite as forgiving as she should be.  But like I said, she is only human.  I think it is the hardest part of growing up when you find out your mom isn's SuperMom, but a person with her own doubts and feelings.  Hug her, tell her you love her, and walk away.  Just walk away and let her calm down.  Clean a bit, but do it when she isn't looking, since you don't want her to think you are only doing it to get on her good side.  You aren't.  You are doing it because you care...
604554
hi, i am so sorry that you are hurt, but i understand.  hurting your mom is the worst feeling in the world.  the worst.  but the best medicine is free.  don't do any of that writing notes crap, that is really chicken shit.  you hurt her, and you are old enough to own up to your mistakes.  you just march yourself up to her and say mama, i can never tell you how sorry i am, i love you, i need you, and i'm not too proud to say it.  then tell her that you know that your time is coming.  you'll have a mini me someday, and it will come back around.  it's called the circle of life.  lol.  the easiest answers are always the toughest.  god bless
488110
Wow that sucks.  Now I should tell you to be honest and talk to your mother about your feelings and all that happy crap, but I'm sure things would not change for long.  She says "... Your so much like your F'ing father it isn't even funny...", Wow that's probably one of the worst things she can say.  I think the better way to handle this is to become a first rate smart-ass.  When she says you're like your dad (in a negative way) say something like "...And we all know how much you love dad."  or "...Who's fault is that?"  Talk back and show her you are pissed off that she doesn't treat you fairly and remind her that you are not "dad", you're her son, and you didn't cheat on her, but you're starting to understand why dad did!  And watch the flames shoot out of her nose!  But it will force the issue into the open and have a shock effect, and a much more lasting impact on her.
489904
I wonder how old is this child? if it were me and moms not doing so well I would try talking to the child and explain moms situation. The child may feel like shes losing her mom and doesn't understand how to cope. When I was a tennager I threatened my mom and she has someone come over from the juvenile court to "TALK" to me.... That scared the S!@# out of me and I didn't behave that way anymore.  as far as KY law you could always have someone you know that the child doesn't and have them lie to her and scare her.. At 13 My son thought he could get away with anything and I had a friend (who's in the military) come over in uniform with some phoney brouchers about military school... All BS I made them on my computer.... well it worked my son hasn't acted nasty in a long time that was over a year ago...Right or wrong you need to find a way that works for you because in the end your the adult and they can't forget that...
522510
Get her some help before you wound up being killed.  This is not normal.  I don't know anyone who hits there mom and lives to tell it.  What does your brand of deodorant have to do with getting beat up??  Do you stink?
227715
Listen they are worried about you, you shouldnt get upset cause they care for you - I know it sometimes gets frustrating, my mom was exactly the same way - your yelling at them is not going to change things - just assure them that they should wait and see
423524
Don't feel horrible. My fiance' does the same thing, and we've had many talks about it. It's a security issue for them and means she cares about you. She gets worried that you're going to be upset or angry(yes, even though it can be the most insignificant little things) and thus apologizes profusely. It can be aggrivating but go with it, explain to her that she doesn't need to be sorry for whatever trivial thing it is and make sure she knows for sure that you aren't upset with her over it.
505369
try to talk to her, i mean i had the same experience with my mom and isnt easy to get along but one day i told her that i wanted to tak to her seriously and i gave her my points of views, since then she respects everything i do and i thing and i respect her as well. Just try to talk with her communication is the base for a good relationship.
441120
I am unsure. sound weird ,   well....  To be brief conflict with my mother arose without warning  shes 79  i am 36.  We never get made like get the hell out, except when I was 13 and thouight I was 30.  I felt bad because her mind is slipping and I am helping her recover from heart surgery this time last year. We grumble and laugh and tease like kids almost reverse roles now.  bottom line .  I cracked left,   all of the family 2 bros 1 sister 3neices 2 nepnews and mom all called and called until i came back.  She asked me to leave.   When I arrived it was as though nothing had happened, except for me I felt so ashamed for breaking.  Its a long story about a great family I wouldnt trade for ANYTHING, so without heartache you will never know joy.  Thats the saying..... well    it is true  Merry Christmas and Happy New Year 2007 only positive thoughts............ peace be with everyone
497077
Its hard with a mother like that i would ask her why she says these things and confront her about it and tell her if she continues to make you feel miserable then you might be better off without her.  Its not always the best thing to do but sometimes you have too
650518
Oh,Honey do I know how u feel!I am going through the same thing as I write.In fact I go to court this Thursday.Let me tell ya,it's very,very hard to deal with.Whether u did something wrong or not doesn't make it any easier.I'd like to tell u about my situation and how I deal with it,but this site does not allow enough space.If you want to talk more about it e-mail me @ kalasmom3@yahoo.com Or IM me @ either yahoo messenger or AIM.I'd love to try to help.Maybe we can help each other.Also,since I have almost 18 months in one child's being gone and 7 years in the other maybe I can offer some advice on how to fight to get them back.oh,my screen name on AIM is turntheclkbac.
231074
First, I am a mother.  You need to think about what you are going to say before you say it. Remember she is the only mother you will have.  Also, try to explain to your mom how you are feeling.  This may help take away some of the frustrations you have.  I was a teenager once, I did alot of aruging with my mom as a teenager and it was about how i felt she was treating my brother a lot better than me, ect, which by the way she did, and now admits.  I ended up moving in with my dad and step monster, oops step mother, and It was find for like 4 months, then she showed her real colors.  It might not seem like it now, but try and talk with your mom, explain that you are just frustrated, and you need to tell her how you feel. I actually thought I hated my mom for many years, but now that I am older, I realize that i didn't hate her, I just did not like her actions, and the decisions she made.
279576
I guess mothers (over their sons) are really nosy...and in terms of the opposite...protective behavior aside...maybe she's looking into how to make herself feel young again? Not too sure...but either way...my gut tells me you should confront the issue and find out what she's really getting out of it...
311571
show her you are mature by cleaning the house, not whinning when she tells you NO. help her out and dont fight with your siblings(if you have any). dont talk back.
577067
Same age, similar problems.  Still at home.  moved out for 4 months, mom liked it, I moved back in and she's been really nasty to me ever since.  I'm also doing stuff she never did, like break emotional traditions that r in this family.\n\nBe interesting to see what other opinions come out of your question.  I read a brilliant book - the dark side of the light chasers.  Read it, it shed some light for me and helped me understand why I get so irritated and angry I could scream or see my hand on the other side of a wall.\n\nGood luck.  Be patient with mom if you can.  It's usually mom and dad/family that teach you your greatest lessons.  I try and take my own advice so I hope you don't think I'm opinion bashing so to speak (like bible bashing).  so many of them on this site!  amazing!!!!\n\nMy mom was a little older when she got married and pregnant I think.   She was 27 when she got married and like 32 or 33 pregnant with my 27 yr old brother.\n\nSee ya.  Email me if you'd like to exchange ideas about what can be done, what works and what doesn't.  smirti_n@yahoo.com.\n\nCheers. :)
5657
I was your daughter, once upon a time. What my mother did with me was to inform me of the consequences if I did something & then she carried it out...consistency is the only way to deal with this. I was an only child so I had just about everything a kid could want in my room. When I was bad, I was not allowed to play in my room; instead being relegated to the end of the couch in the living room where she could keep an eye on me while she went about her daily chores. There was nothing in this world that I hated more than being made to sit at the end of that couch because there was no TV, no radio, no nothing. I was told that, if I put even one foot on the floor & didn't sit there like a little lady, I would get a spanking...it worked wonders.\n\nAs for sharing - if your daughter has a problem with it - try the following. If I refused to share a toy with a little friend, my mother would take it from me. She'd put it away for later but she would tell me that if I didn't learn to share, she was going to give them away. It was just my mother's luck, I guess, that soon after this first incident, a friend of mine was having a birthday party & my mother had gotten her something that I also had & she knew the girl particularly liked. While it is true that she had to take me home from the party early because I launched into a screaming & crying fit (thinking the girl had been given my toy), you can bet that I learned that lesson immediately :) It wasn't until I was in my thirties that the subject came up one day & Mom realized what was behind my little fit...not fun to have your parent laugh at you when you are an adult :)\n\nBTW, a friend of mine uses a variation of the sitting on the couch routine when her child is bad. Difference is, she makes her kid sit on the sofa with the computer, radio & television all in the same room & turned off...drives her daughter crazy. Another friend has a kid who loves video games &, when he is being difficult, she takes them away & lets his brother play them in the other room; within the child's hearing. I, personally, think this is a little mean & somewhat harsh, but it seems to work for her son.\n\nI think that is really the trick to getting them to behave in that every kid is different & you have to find out what gets under their skin. Its not to be mean, of course, it is so that you have that leverage that you need to keep them in line. I can assure you that by the time & was six or seven, my mother only need look at me in a particular way & I would not only shut my mouth, but immediately try to make myself invisible. At the same time, I never lived in fear of her...only of her being angry with me...big difference...\n\nGood luck!
572276
This makes me feel that your mother did abuse you - not physically or sexually but emotionally. This is a valid form of abuse, and like any other takes a lot of time and love to heal.\n\nI suggest that if you have now moved out of the family house, you write a letter to your mother, telling her how she made you feel, describing both positive and negative situations. See how she responds. If she responds negatively, denying or invalidating your feelings, then have very little to do with her. She is your mother, but there is no reason you have to see her if it makes you uncomfortable. If she responds positively to the letter, apologising, wanting to build a better relationship, try and build a new relationship with her.\n\nCounselling may help with this as this was child abuse. The most important thing is that you don't hold on to this hurt and get bitter, but let it go; your mother doesn't owe you anything. This is very difficult to do, but eventually you will be free from this pain.