In relationships, is it better to lay all your cards on the table and just tell the person you like them and run the chance of having to go through the awkardness of the friendship, or is it best to just stay quiet and wait it out and see what happens?
126160
Don't be too open or you'll freak the other person out. Don't be too imtimate too soon, but important things should be discussed.
537898
I would tell her, and here's why.  It's a strain on you, and you should probably put a little distance between the two of you for your mental health.  Tell her you've developed feelings for her, it wasn't on purpose, and you don't want her to feel pressured, but because of this you need to put a little space between the two of you for a time while you refocus yourself.  Then be friendly, but cut your contact with her WAY down.  This does a couple of things.  It lets her know your thoughts, which is important in an honest friendship.  But it doesn't give her the instant upper hand she would get if you "confessed your love" then waited around for her to do something (and what would that be? dump the BF?  decide if she feels the same in return?), which almost always has a bad result for the confessor.  Treat your developing ardor as a personal weakness of your own, perhaps a slightly embarrassing one, and assure her you're going to get over it without bothering her, you just wanted to do her the courtesy of letting her know why you can't hang out with her so much.\n\nOnce you go into "recovery" phase (spending less time with her) it does two things.  It lets her know you aren't a lapdog, hanging around, waiting for whatever attention she'll give you.  It actually gives you the closest thing to the upper hand you can have.  She'll also see less of you, giving her the chance to figure out if she misses you a lot.  If she does, she should be the one to bring up that she wants to see more of you.  When she does this, you can say (be nice to her, always be very very nice) "that would be difficult for me without the chance to date you... I'm concerned my feelings are to strong."  Be kind of wistful.  Then give her more space.\n\nYou're trying to get her to come to you.  It's the only way you have a chance after a confession anyway, but it can be very successful if she likes and depends on you, but has been more or less taking you for granted.  It also gives you control over your life, which is always adviseable.  One more piece of advice?  Flirt with some other girls.  But don't overdo it, and never be mean to anyone.\n\nMake sense?  Good luck.
230664
yeah i think you should take the chance. try to make it in some way as to not scrwe up the friendship if it doesnt work out. actually before telling him i think you should try to get him to like you too, make compliments, but make them sound casual so that he wont be sure if you like him or not, then he'll wonder if he likes you or not too. it sounds complicated but it works all the time.
37559
If it were me, I would tell them both that their friendship is more important to you right now and try to explaine that you might not be ready for a stead relationship at this time. That way you're not having to choose and possibly breaking up what the 3 of you have right now. Sometimes the best things are the hardest to do, because it's almost certain you will lose 1 if not both if you choose.
632186
Tricky ground. But then, whoever said life was fair?\n\nThere is no "right" things to do. Only different options with their own set of counter-actions and consequences. \n\nIf keeping your feelings bottled up inside you is going to hurt you more in the long run then it's best to release those feelings. But choose the way to do it wisely. Be tactful, don't make it an ultimatum. As for her reaction, if you've been gentle and polite and she really is your friend, she will hear you out and tell you how she feels. You can move from there. She might tell you that it's best to stay friends, but at least you will know. \n\nAnd don't think it will make things weird. Weird is what people make of it. You might even want to test the waters and tell her that you "care" for her. It's a nice way of letting someone know that you have some emotional interest without saying "I love you" too soon or under inappropriate circumstances. \n\nIn the end the choice rests with you. Remember, there is no right and wrong in this matter. Go with your feelings. \n\nBest Wishes to you.
585291
Well dear, the English language, although among the richest, is still poor to express certain issues. \nLove! Is Love a feeling or a property of a person? I think the second! Thus, if you are a person who love, then you love and you love everyone and everything! That is great! Congratulations!\nNow, since you love, you love your friends, also, regardless of their customs, attractions, wills, etc. What you are asking in if you should do what you do not like, am I right? \nIn the case you do not like something, you do not do this, because your closest and best friend is yourself! Yourself will never turn you down, or at least more than you will do to her!\nALso, we have many friends who either drink a lot, or smoke or take drags, ..., we get with them and try to influence them to soemthing we consider better! Others are doing thing we consider them fine, although those activities are not our style! Etc. We get together with them. We enjoy what we can communicate each other! Same way with your friend! You remain friends, but you should do what you really want! If you cchange, your friends will not like you any more, you will be done aanother person! If they like the new you and the new you is less good that the previous, run away, those might not be good friends, might not even be any kind of friends!\nNow, if she would bring another boyfriend, what would you think? How would you react?\nIt all depends on how you feel, what kind of girlfriend she is, what you want out of this relation, ...\nI might enjoy both of them and look around for another relation!!!!
309570
This is always a tricky situation, and its often feared that the friendship might be ruined if the other person doesn't feel the same way. I think that if you two are 'best friends' and really close and have a healthy relationship, then if he doesn't feel the same way, maintaining the friendship should be easy.\n\nI think you should tell him and for all you know he could be feeling the exact same way, and having the same fears! So take the risk. If you don't then you are risking a really good chance to be with someone in a relationship that you really care for.\n\nPlan the right way to do it for you- whether that be on the phone, face to face, through a hand written letter, email or msn...whichever is best for you, the point is that you do it and get it out in the open of your relationship. \n\nJust remember of all the great possibilities, that's why you should do it.
317914
Tell the person that you're starting to have feelings for them, but be casual about it.  Don't be all dramatic and over the top just bring it up in a casual situation like having him over for a drink or something and just start talking about it.  Usually if you approach it casually you won't get a huge reaction as a result of it.  Keep a little distance and if they're not interested then just let it go.  But you'll never know if it could happen unless you ask.
451341
I think it depends on how you look at the situation.  If it was me, I would say something just because every woman knows the unwritten rule, "Do not mess with anyone that a friend of yours likes."  There are no exceptions. I really don't care if he likes her back.  However, if the way you feel is, oh they like each other maybe they should date, then leave it alone.  From the sound of it though, that's not it so I would just let my voice be heard girlfriend!
483654
Continue doing what you are doing because apparently it's working. There is no bad blood and you two are getting along so don't change on him, because that will not guarantee that i will stay like that, and if you like him, its best to keep it as friends thats from experience unless he has expressed that he likes you. If not then you gotta suck it up because its better to have not said anything and keep him as a close friend than to say something and chance losing him as a friend.
336802
if you are not sure if he likes you and you don't want to lose your friendship you should keep it to yourself. i once told a friend that i liked him and would like to go out with him some time. he walked off , because he thought it was a friend of mine who liked him and he never spoke to me again.
30753
I don't think bringing it up suddenly with a direct proposal or a phone call would work. It'd probably be really awkward and screw up your relationship (and if this happens to you, try to say "Just kidding" or something like that to wipe the shocked expression off of her face). Instead, go really slow and subtle about it. Cross the border between friendship and romance real slowly. Make it clear to both of you that you both have ascended to another level without declaring it out loud.
96946
I think communication is important because if there was no communication, I wouldn't be typing this right now. Also, if you are bored and you want to go and hang with a friend, are you going to go and walk all the way to your friend's house or just call her or him?
588796
Hi, maybe it's best to be friends first before get down to dating. However if you keep getting the" just friends" routine too much you'll need to ask what's going on that you can't take it to the next level? Ask a guyfriend or girlfriend - maybe they can see somethig your not seeing.  Good luck...
642979
im in the same way bro so i know how u feel id lay the cards on the table and lay everything out on how u feel and wat u want if she dont feel the same way bro then i guess it mite b time to move on !!!!!!!! good luck tho bro
62431
From a guys view point. I am in the same situation with a lady whom I have been friends with for years. We were both always seeing someone or married now we aren't. I ask my self the same question and after a couple of months of being with her several times a week and talking daily I came to the conclusion that because we are such good friends and know each other good and bad faults that it would make it eaiser to become more than friends. If it doesn't work then you should be able to remain friends after all you started out that way. Lay down some ground rules like what happens if doesn't work. And enjoy yourself we only get the chance to be happy once this could be it for you. I know that I am glad I ask her out as more than a friend. As a good friend of mine told me "Tomorrow is never here and today is gone to quick" \nGOOD LUCK
13226
Why torture yourself by wondering when you can end the torment by asking? People are often afraid to take the direct approach because they are worried about the outcome. But could that be any worse than dragging out the uncertainty?\n\nLet him know that if his status is unavailable for a romance, you still want to be his friend. If you truly have a good friendship, asking him how he feels shouldn't destroy it. Hopefully it will improve it by removing the layer of uncertainty.\n\nGood luck!\n\nDr. Barb Nefer, http://www.bnlifeskills.com