y which i dumped when i found out i was pregnant. when i was five months pregnant me and the first guy got back together. he lives in another state and the baby's father, which lives in houston, was in jail when the baby was born. since january he's been back and we've been spending a lot of time together. the bad about him is that he smokes and acts crazy sometimes but he makes me feel like im the world when he's not crazy. so does the other guy. i know the other guy is good for me but i cant leave the baby daddy alone. i dont know why. he makes me feel special and tells me he loves me plus we have a daughter. now the other gu has been tellin me he loved me since our first year. its jus that he cant be down here till june. i dont know who to be with and if i should wait two months for the other guy? both kinda does the same thing. me and the babyy daddy has more in common but argue most of the time. but the other guy doesnt talk too much.
134414
hey sweetie i kinda have been thru the same thing. i am 28 years old. when i was 20 i was dating this guy from florida and we would take turns visiting each other till i could move to be with him. well we ended up breaking up after about 18 months together and i was devistated. i will admit now it was my fault at the time. i couldnt wait and i needed affection. i met another guy and we started hanging out and my bf didnt like it at all. he is the reason we broke up. while we were broke up i became pregnant by the local guy who was a thug type. smoking weed, drinking all the time but he was a total sweetheart and made me feel so special. when he found out i was pregnant he said it wasnt his and demanded a DNA test to be done soon as the baby was born. well as bad as i treated the florida guy he stuck with me the whole time. he was even there when my baby was born. we got back together and then the babys dad and i had the DNA test done and guess what, it was his. well he became so happy and all of a sudden he loved me again and wanted nothing more to be with me. again i was letting him come inbetween me and the florida guy and hurting him. this other guy said all the right things and sweet talked me. saying things like, oh baby i will stop smoking and drinking and the drugs all for you if you just be with me so we can be a family. needless to say, i looked at him and just plainly to F**K off. the florida guy moved here to be with me and now we are married and very happy. it was the best decision i ever made. ditch the crazy one girl and go for the one that dont talk much. i am sure he treats you better and everything. so what if he dont talk. least he isnt crazy. right??? so what if he cant be there till june. thats 1 month and like 3 weeks. depending on when in june though. one more thing, the more you have in common with someone the more you all will argue. if you all dont have much in common there isnt that much arguing. i know cause me and my wonderful husband didnt have much in common till he moved here and now we hahve so much but we hardly argue cause we grew together in such a wonderful way. he is my everything and is the best choice for a daddy to my son. the real daddy ended up giving up his rights because he was a deadbeat and i later found out he had 2 other kids by 2 different girls and didnt take care of either. whats to say he was gonna take care of mine. he wasnt and i knew that. now the loser is sitting in jail for the next 7 years. good luck to you and i hope you make the right decision. i think you will. here is a hint, the out of state guy. lol. good luck. oh yeah, sorry this is so long too.
341710
Wake up honey.  If he wanted to be with you, he would have NEVER gotten his soon to be baby mama pregnant....he would have NEVER cheated on you.\n\nLooks to me like you're willing to settle for left overs and sloppy seconds.  You think you have problems now, just wait until that baby is born.\n\nDon't you think you deserve better?  Girl, kick him to the curb and move on with your life.  You don't need a looser like him in your corner.  Better to loose 2 years than 10 or 15 years in a bad relationship that's never going to go anywhere.  \n\nHe's made his decision.  He got another woman pregnant and is spending more time with her.  Now it's your turn to make a decision.  Cut him loose and move on girl!!
194882
he is probally lying to you about going out they always say that stuff to make you feel better.  it is not going to get better right away at first it will get worse. maybe you should talk to him and tell him how left out you feel and that it is his kid you are caring to it would be nice to spend time together.  maybe you should talk to him about moving back and see what he says.  If things didn't change with the bar situation and him always wanting to be with his friends and family i would tell him that i was moving back home that may change him and it may not. but that is totally up to you to decide what to do. i have a 4 month old baby and his dad used to kinda do the same thing with his friends and i told him if it didn't stop i was moving back home that useually works. if it don't maybe you should consider moving back by yourself because i can tell you it is very hard to raise a newborn by yourself because you have no job or anything. just ride things out for a while and see if he changes and actually sticks to his word.  congratulations on the baby and best of luck!!!!!
279084
HE DOESN'T LOVE YOU!!!!!!   and there is nothing wrong with you!!!!  I'm sorry if this will hit you hard, but from what you are saying something is definetly wrong with this guy, and he is just using you!!   If he is telling you to get away, then you may need to make some Big changes with yourself and your baby
222030
Sorry about the loss of your child.  But I think you two have ran your course and you need to move on.  This guy was not there for you and more importantly your child.  Don't take him back again.  You'll only be setting yourself up for more hurt.
120302
HAVE YOU TRIED TELLING HIM HOW YOU FEEL!? LETTING GO IS NEVER EASY ESPECIALLY WHEN YOUR AROUND ONE ANOTHER ALL THE TIME!! BUT, AS A WISE PERSON ONCE SAID, "WHAT DOESN'T KILL US WILL MAKE US STRONGER" AN I BELIEVE THIS TO BE TRUE! I THINK YOU OUGHT TO STOP SEEING EACH OTHER ALL TOGETHER UNTIL THE BABY IS BORN(SURE LET HIM COME TO DR. APPT. AN STUFF) BUT AS FAR AS SEEING ONE ANOTHER DON'T DO IT! THIS WAY IT WILL GIVE YOU THE TIME YOU NEED TO GET OVER HIM AN HE CAN STILL BE INVOLVED IN THE BABIES LIFE!!! AN THEN AFTER THE BABY IS BORN AN IF YOU STILL FEEL THE NEED TO BE AWAY FROM HIM THEN TELL HIM! THERE ARE MANY WAYS OF PARENTS RAISING THEIR CHILDREN WITHOUT HAVING TO BE AROUND ONE ANOTHER! I KNOW THIS CAN'T BE EASY FOR YOU(BEING PREGNANT) AN ALL!! BUT, I WISH YA THE BEST AN HOPE THAT MY ADVICE CAN BE SOME HELP TO YOU! IF YA WANT YOU CAN EMAIL ME AN I'LL TRY TO HELP ANYWAY I CAN!!!\n\n\nBEST OF LUCK!!!
360289
Aww honey its okay!! Feeling like this is perfectly normal but cheating twice?? I would say take him back if this was his first offense but honestly I dont even know the guy and know that he will cheat again..I'm sure you still care about him and have feelings for him but if he cared for you the way you care for him then he wouldn't have done the things that he did!! You can do better and he will be feeling ALOT worse than you when you move on and know that life can go on without him...I've learned the hard way and always forgave but now I have a baby and what started off with a little cheating to ALOT he didn't stop and would try to lie after a night of romance and come home to his daughter and me..Leave before it becomes something more..A promise just cant be believed anymore..Good luck hun and hang in there..Time heals everything :)
68450
I know its hard because Im in a similar situation. Mine left also but our baby is 9months and he's not cheating on me.  Try to get some counseling because it sounds like he's not coming back but you are not accepting it.  He's a bastard for tellling you that she is better, don't believe that, he's saying that to hurt you and your letting him.  You need to let go and move on to someone that will treat you as you deserve and love you unconditionally. Just remember, once a cheater always a cheater so he will probably cheat on "abby" too!
402100
I know that feeling all too well. . .same boat, only I have two boys and my guy. . .well lets just say he's not the hero I'd love to say I have standing up for his country in Kuwait. . .(actually we're not even an official couple anymore) So. . .feel blessed to know that you are loved and you love for starters ( : \nIn any event. . .I think that your father's situation is unfortunate and I can relate having a similar friendship with both of my parents who have had their share of trials and tribulations. . .What my advice is to you. . .Sweetie you work hard, you raise a daughter with the weight of the world, missing your man, balancing your family wanting to do all you can to make their lives better. . .you deserve to spend your holiday happy, with your friends, enjoying a break from NY and the cold weather. . . But, since you can't very well go there and have real fun worrying that you have done something terrible to your father. . .have a Christmas with him and his household ahead of time and let him know your fellings so he can see what a blessing it is that you will have the opportunity on this time away to relax and enjoy life for all it has to offer surrounded by friends and in the warm sunshine of California ( : \nI can tell from what you said here. . . .it is truly what he would want for you. I will keep him and his troubles in my thoughts and hope for the best results everyday. . .\n\nsome days i sit, \n\nstarin out my window, \n\nwatchin this world pass me by, \n\npeople make jokes cause they dont understand me, \n\nthay just dont see my real side, \n\nsomtimes i think im crazy im crazy oh so crazy, \n\nwhy am i here am i just wastin&#92;' my time, \n\nbut then i see my baby sud-denly im not crazy, \n\nit all makes sense when i look into her ey-es, \n\n\n\n*chorus* \n\nsometimes it feels like the worlds on my shoulders, \n\never-yones&#92;' leanin&#92;' on me,and sometimes it feels like, \n\nthe world&#92;'s almost over but she stays with me \n\n\n\ni look at her starin at her picture, \n\nlookin at her amazing gaping brown eyes, \n\nwe talk bout sex and it almost already feels good, \n\nim happy just knowin were alive, \n\nwe&#92;'ve faced tough trials and tribulations, \n\nhard fights an even had a tough rough ride through degradation, \n\nbut our love always seems to survive, \n\nmy friends they call me crazy,am i crazy?only may-be \n\nthey just dont see the love thats entered my life, \n\nand i talk to my baby theres no question im not crazy, \n\nit all makes sense when i look into those eyes\n\nPeople understand in their own way. . . .we all feel it from time to time. . . \n\nLet the world go for a few days. . .it will be great for everyone involved ( ;\n\n\n\n\n\nNatalie- tried to get in touch with you but, it says you are not accepting messages. . .I'm fory_secret@yahoo.com if you wanna e-mail & talk ( : \n\nBy the way: Eminem . . . he sang that (wow right?!?!?)
171470
Be very careful my friend, you could be setting yourself up to be hurt. You may have feelings for this other person, but you need to remember that you "do" have two children to think about. It is belief of many that the truth will set you free, but in this case, it may end in the suffering of the most innocent of all, the kids. Please, consider holding off with this second relationship long enough to realize what you want. I know you want your children in your life, dont jeopardize that for anything. Have a nice day!
266207
That's the way love goes. But he is a man and a man is going to do man things. Although it was disrespectful as fuck. And u should have beat his ass. Not the girl. She probably didn't even know he had a baby mama or girl. Id say he learned his lesson. But wait for him to come back. Maybe he doesn't want to be with you anymore. And if u ask for him back maybe u'll get your feelings hurt. I wouldn't try. I would start lookin for a new man. u'll get over him. occupy your time to keep your mind off of him.
465752
It's nice to hear a single father going through what most single moms go through, well the thought would be just like any guy they do not want to settle down with someone who has kids, there not ready yet, keep looking you'll find someone who will love you and your daughter no matter what!
125610
this is what i would do. i would leave him a note and say i'm leaving you for a while. and when i feel that you want us to be a family and take care of us like you should than we can be a family again but i can't stand you being gone all night and everything else. just tell him how you feel in the letter and be gone for a few weeks or even a few months to see if that changes him. if you do go back to him and you don't see any changes than he isn't going to change and he don't want to be a family and he don't care about you or the baby. one thing i do see you can leave anytime and you said that you wanted to leave so that is telling me that you made up your mind and what your going to do. no one can really tell you what to do you really have to follow what your heart is telling you. and you have to think about what is best for you and your baby. so you do whatever you have to do girly and if you ever need to talk i'm here. i hope i have helped you out and i hope everything works out for you and the baby
627267
I cannot tell you how bad I feel that someone hurt you sooo much when you were little.  I wish I could change it for you.\n\nHowever, Why are you trying to get pregnant and your not married??  I'm not judging you.  It's just that, if he has not committed to marry you and stay with you, are you in a position to take care of a child by yourself??  I only ask because I am a Mother of 3 girls.  Two of whom got pregnant with their boyfriend.  \n\nI also got pg before I got married.  We married, but it was a disaster and I ended up with 3 kids to take care of alone.  I really struggled because I only had a high school education. \n\nThink really hard about doing this. sweety.  This isn't something that goes away if you change your mind.  And no matter how good your man is now, things could change.  Can't you guys just be happy with the 2 of you right now??\n\nI know, sometimes things work out.  Are you 100% sure this is going to work out with the 2 of U?  Good luck, and God Bless.  By the way, God is waiting to hear from you.
338338
dear sunshine,\nI am a 31 year old married man with two boys, i left my wife almost two years ago, cuz of cheating, i was about to forgive her and take her back, but i found out she is pregnant.\n\ni still have not decided if i even want to take her back and adopt out her baby, she wants me back, i dont know.\n\nbut one thing i will tell you sunshine,\ni know i loved her, truely\nfor she had the capacity to make me the happiest man in the world,\nand yet at the same time;\nshe could hurt me more than i ever knew i could be hurt.\ni believe that this is what true love is, and that it is unconditional- no conditions, such as; i will love you if you do this, or not if you don't.\n\ni will always love my wife, and have already forgiven her.\nbut that does not mean i want to be with her....\n\nyou should ask yourself this,\nif your man got pregnant from someone else, (God forbid, :) ) - would you take him back??\n\nn e way,\ngood luck.
445641
Hi TaTa,   I hate to see you get hurt,but this guy is a player.He only cares about hisself and his needs.You will never be happy with this jerk. The problem is you cannot ever trust him again. Without trust you don't have a relationship.Besides that he will do it again and again. Kick his sorry A S S to the hurb, and find you a man who will treat you, and your baby with respect,trust and a caring man.You deserve alot better than your getting from the jerk. I'm wishing you and your baby all the luck and have a happy life. A Friend.\n\n  Clowmy
240059
do it without him and you may become a single mother.  talk a little more and you can decide if he's even the right one.  he has to be perfect for your baby.