My bf spends every chance he gets either in front of the tv or computer watching porn and masturbating.  He even goes so far now as to have to have it on when we have sex. I am just tired and disgusted with this behaviour--he will even walk out while we are watching a movie or anything together and go off and watch porn leaving me alone.  He thinks its a normal thing that all men do this and that this ok and I am making a big deal out of nothing.  But the problem doesn't stop there he is very flirtatious--he only has women friends-- on top of the porn and sex addiction and all he thinks about is women....he absolutely loves women's bodies, sex and porn.  I have told him how I feel about this and he says he will try to cut back but he won't quit it, because he doesnt see anything wrong.  What can I do?  This is driving me crazy and I feel like I am losing so much respect for him. Should I just let it go?
119807
Wow!  Get out, This man is only going to bring you misery.  He is not going to change.  Are you willing to live like this.  Don't you want to be #1, and thought off as the only one he wants.  It's okay to fantasize, but not like he is doing.  He is totally disrespectful to you.  NO WOMAN DESERVES TREATMENT LIKE THIS.  You are a better person than this, and deserve someone who will treat you like you deserve to be treated.
124175
I can tell that this issue is really bothering you and hunny, you are tooooooo young for this. You actually sound mad, it was like you were on the phone with me venting while I was reading.\nWell, I am a strong believer in the word and I have read that where the mind is the body follows. Meaning your boyfriend wants to sleep with other women if he hasn't already done so. When he is looking and admiring all thoose other women he is lusting for them.  He shouldn't disrespect you like that and you need to leave.
356225
cheating was wrong. and you were right to make him earn your trust back. But i would not get to bent out of shape about porn. It IS just looking with no personal contact. Besides 90% of men in America look at porn, the Internet is just a new way to get it instead of buying magazines in a store. But if you are really uncomfortable as you sound i would seek couples counseling to see what is going on. It will help more than you know.
442320
I do know where you are coming from,and i am not sure how long you have been with you`re fiancee.But having a sence of humour when you are dealing with men is some times best !I say 2 things ,one at least he is`nt doing anything with a another human behide you`re back and 2 it would be so more shocking if it was a channel for the opposite sex !\nIf it was me i would get him back in a wee matter ,but not going to far just see how he likes it ,take a real look at the next fit guy that walks pass both of you .When some hunk comes on telly just say "hes  alright" It just seem strange to us woman because we are not in to porn in any way ,but if you accept it ,and be cool he will love you more !If you want ,ask him why he likes it so much and may do things in your`re relation ship that you haven`t yet explored !But to be honest in life if you are`nt meant to do something it makes it more daring and naughty ,once you accept it and may even say can i watch one with you ,it will be come boring to him and he will stop ,as it is`nt naughty behide you`re back stuff ,and if he does big deal ,as you can please him for real !!!
666398
Why are you so upset? He is not hiding it from you,\nso no dirty secrets. Ask him if you can watch with him.\nMaybe the male version of this. You both could have some\nlaughs and fun together.\nWhat do you mean by "Our sex life is regular".\nMaybe it should be less regular and a bit more "Off the wall"\n"Regular" is boooooring! Let him try some of the stuff he\nsees on his computer and maybe you could come up with \nsomething new or naughty too - could be more fun \nfor both of you and not soooooo regular. \nMake LOVE not WAR!!!!
257045
He has a strong sex drive. Skipping work once in a while to have sex sounds like fun to me though. He's probably not going to change how often he wants sex - why do girls always think they can change their boyfriend? You may need someone who's slightly less needy. That sounds a little excessive to me - he could be using that to control you. He is also not considerate of you in trying to manipulate you into doing more. The getting mad part is a huge problem - you shouldn't put up with that.
66660
This is one of those things that it's all in the persons point of view. He may just be viewing it as a form of pornography which wouldn't be cheating at all and may just be getting himself all warmed up for a night with you. OR he's losing interest within what he has and things need to be spiced up a bit. If he starts acting differently towards you than I would seriously consider having a sit down and talk session with him and get both of your view points out and let him know that you don't approve of him watching other girls on the computer while they pleasure themselves.
525737
He definitley shows BIG signs of a porn addiction and he has probably had this addiction for longer then you will ever know. And honey, the monster of this will always at some point rear its ugly head. Its the hardest addiction to overcome and when they get bored with one thing such as the phone calls they will move on to something more thrilling and dangerous like prostitutes or even turn into online preditors of teenage girls (anyone that will help them get off). I was married to one myself and he sought counseling 4 different times and swore each time that he was cured. I believed him every time. Thank God I got the courage to finally leave, because he wound up with herpes from a prositute. Now you decide what you should do. Do you want to take that risk. Honey you deserve far better then a creep like that. Go get couseling for yourself and find the courage leave and go on with your life.
12002
I think that it is normal in that lots of men do it...but it has lots of negatives as well.\nIt creates an untrue and unrealistic "image" - most women don't look like the women on the porn tapes.\nWhen he does it by himself - it's king of like cheating.\nIt can make the woman feel bad about herself and the relationship.\nHere's my advice - DUMP him - find a grown up that wants to live life with you - not play with his porn tapes.
189676
Oh my God, yes!  It is totally normal.  A guy who hasn't looked at porn in his life and not gotten turned on is a genetic freak.  \n\nMy guy is only home on weekends and I look at porn all the time and discuss it with him.  It's better to have him look at porn then to have him seek out the real thing, don't you think?
524494
How can you really love someone you don't trust, or who you feel betrayed by, and don't feel you know?\nThree years is long enough- if porn, feeling betrayed, and a lacking sex life is what you want, he's your man. IF you want something better for yourself, end it and move on.
351773
Porn or anything like it can be destructive to a relationship if it bothers one partner as is the case. Guys are visual creatures by design... so looking at pictures wouldn't be such a big deal but the searching through personals is a little different. If he is closed off to you otherwise, perhaps he's stuck there. Don't allow him to get further away in his head. If he won't talk to you, then get into a couple of counseling sessions and clear the air. He may have issues or be in a personal slump. Sometimes, as guys, these types of things are outlets for personal self-esteem isssues. Get to the bottom of it but be strong and stand your ground. Don't let him just write it off. Good luck.
405800
You can talk about with him if you want, but you will get a better response if you don't "confront" him, but just have a nice friendly chat about his favourite films and TV shows.\n\nIt certainly sounds like he has an attraction to them, which doesn't sound that weird to me - lots of guys do, and they're only 9 or 10 years younger than him, after all.\n\nMy bf and I sometimes watch "family" movies together, because often they just have better plot lines and dialogue than the rubbish they fob off on adults, but in your husband's case, I think it does sound primarily sexual, although also extremely harmless.\n\nWhy not watch a few DVDs together, let him talk about what he likes and why, and let it lead to something er ... intimate between you?\n\nAt least he's not getting into some nasty disgusting porn to get him in the mood, so be thankful.
325533
I agree with 'leadbelly'....the real issue here is the sending of porn... funny Internet pics, jokes, stories.. are one thing but sending actual porn...that's another...addiction to pornography is a real problem...it hinders peoples ability to enjoy the real thing...contrary to 'jessica rabbit''s comment...when porn addiction is present you CAN'T meet the fantasy no matter what you do..it's not good enough..(do your research next time) \n   Do some research into porn addiction and see if your man fits any of the other 'symptoms'...you may already know the answer..and if he does try to get help because it will destroy a relationship
251028
No,it's not you.I have the same problem with my bf.He thinks that the computer is more important then spending time with you.Tell him politely to shut the computer off for a while.Also explain to him that you hardly get to see him and while you are visiting him to spend time with you.Let him know that it's rude to ingore you like that.Ask him to check his emails and his ebay account another time when you're not there.I really don't think that this behavior is normal.Or tell him that you're not going to be with him if he keeps this up.Ask him if he thinks that you're just there for sex?Maybe you should leave him and look for someone who's closer to you.He should pay attention to you,not to his computer.That stuff can wait.Ask yourself this:Do you want to continue to be with him or to find someone else?I think that what he's doing is rude.Good luck.
464987
Yes, normal. Guys have a serious sex drive, like a hunger drive in girls. If he's not cheating, don't worry. But if it bothers you, ask him to at least not have them as his "friends". Tell him to go buy a magazine or something.\nI have had a lot of guy friends, and I have never met ONE who was not into all of that.
612113
OK, so you go to strip clubs together, you buy him porn mags and everything has been ok ? So think about it, Why wouldnt it be ok for him to lookat porn online ? Its ok for him to read it and look at in magazines, so of course he is going to think its ok for him to do it online to. Now realize that this internet porn thing is all new to him, he has been opened up to a whole new world of porn and he is going to continue to look at it every day because there is just sooo much out there. I doubt that he sees it as not having a need to finish with you. Because every man will say the real thing is better than a hand. Im thinking he probably just jerks it so much in one day that when it comes down to doing the real thing he is just to worn out. Maybe just tell him whats on your mind and tell him next time hes looking at porn, to hold off from masturbating all day that way you can get all of the sexual tension released on you later. Basically, you need to talk to him about and see if he notices the change. If he does talk about it together and try to come up with a resolution together. Tell him how its affecting you and as a decent man he will try to help you out as much as possible. Maybe try sitting down with him and looking at the porn together and then when hes ready to jerk it, he will have you instead ?