okay so my boyfreind is 17 and im 16. im from a very good family and well his family...not that good. he was born in the projects in the city and now lives in the suberbs. he tells me taht a lot of his family was in prison and they do drugs. well today i went in his car and he had alchol in a water bottle, weed in a bag, and a knofe, mase, and the other day he had a gun in his trunk (which his freind said was a BB gun). he says he loves me...and he held unto me for 8 months cuz i would not give him the time of day. please help. also like when him and i chill its maily just make out sessions...or him pressuring me to give him head or sex. i have told him no sex till mariage but he still pressures me to do things. i want to satisfy him so he dont leave me or cheat on me but also its just getting on my nerves that i cant even concentrate on other things. please help.
133403
No. He may end up getting you into trouble if he ever gets caught and your with him. Not good.
627036
I'm sorry you are going through this.....My oldest did the same thing....he stole everything he could pawn or sale for money to keep his habit supported. I had to put a lock on my bedroom door to keep him out. And even that didnt work for long....He stole from his grandparents...friends....neighbors. I had people calling me all the time about the things he was doing. It started when he was about 14 years old....and he was in and out of trouble for so long. We had him to doctors and therapists.....he got put in juvenile centers.....county jail.....and finally did 3 different prison sentences..all of this was in the time frame of 11 years......after the second time in prison...I told him if he got in trouble again...then I would not come and see him...its too hard to watch your child like that....he got so used to that institutional life....that he couldnt funtion in the real world. Now he is out again....and seems to be doing good.......He is working and living about 4 hours away....we talk on the phone almost daily.....He lives with my brother..his uncle......He seems to really want to make it this time...and God willing ...he will....Be strong......tough love is just that....but I think its tougher on the parent than the child.....My prayers are with you and your child...
417725
You had 26 answers already at the time of my replying, and i didnt read them but i can imagine what most of them will say. You are young, your boyfriend doesnt treat you right and doesnt treat his body with respect - so why do you think he will be good for you when he's not good to himself?\n\nOf course you have got involved with someone else. Its natural. You want a proper life with someone who cares. Its not a mess sweetheat, he's no good for you so just leave! Really, just pack up your stuff and leave. It may be hard but it will be best in the long run.\n\nGet support from family and friends, and just do it! A&#92; year from now you will be SO much happier!\n\nIf a friend was in your situation what would you tell them? You'd said he doesnt deserve you, wouldnt you? Come on, ring your mum or a friend and say you want help leaving..... they will be delighed to help believe me!\n\nMy daughter left a relationship like this last year. He was a drinker and had started to push her around too. Now she is with a lovely bloke.\n\nI hope you get the strength to do this, and make a good life for yourself.
199674
Babygirl listen, you don't have to go there even though you already have. Girls these days always want to please these HORNY, NAPPY headed boys. FOR WHAT!!! Focus on school sweetheart. When he see's you going places and using your mind to better yourself, that's a powerful thing. \n\nIf you don't want to end up like your sister and pregnant at a young age, then quit getting your freak on. WHERE ARE YOUR PARENTS? They should be your inspiration to better yourself. Make school your top priority and excel at it as much as possible and any other hobby you like to do. When the time comes for relationships and boy's you'll know. If your into praying, pray about the situation. I've seen to many of my friend's who had babies at a young age and missed out on being teenagers. That life was not for me. I enjoyed being a teenager. PLEASE LEARN FROM THAT. You don' t let a boy disrespect you in anyway or pressure you to do jack squat you hear me!!! \n\nIf he gives you the old everybody's doing it, or all my boy's are laughing at me because I ain't getting none, or better yet if you loved me you would do it, who the hell cares? What matter's is how you feel and if that is what you want and are ready to do. Most teenage girls are not ready for that. It's the hormones sweetie. There outta control, but it's ok. Not saying you can't date and kiss boy's but the whole taking it to the next level might not be what you are prepared for (Dirty diapers and 3am feedings). Not football games and prom...\n\nBecause if you give it up and he drops you, you'll regret it, and he might not give a d*** about you. He might just be thinking with the wrong head. Just being real with you. I'm a bit older than you, and trust me when I say W-A-I-T, you'll thank yourself for it later, take care of yourself, LOVE LIVE LIFE...........................
420737
If it were me I'd stick with you to make sure you are okay.  Even if it's just physical there is something there.  As far as him being creeped out, what is he 16?  If it's no strings and he's a prick he'll probably leave.  Good Luck and whatever happens hold your head up and be positive.
15399
I think you need to leave your boyfriend, get an education, and make something out of yourself.\nWhy are you dating a criminal?  Don't you have any more respect for yourself than that?
56020
Looking at this and all the other questions you have about your boyfriend leads me to believe that he is not the one with the problem.\n\nYou say you are living with your boyfriend, which leads me to believe that you are at least eighteen years old, but your lack of self-esteem and your dependence makes you seem quite a bit younger than that.\n\nYou may be pushing him away with your insecurities.  Men like independent, self-assured women who are confident in their own looks and personality.  Women who constantly compare themselves to other girls around them, who worry about their boyfriends' every glance at someone else - these women make men want to run and hide.\n\nYou can't change the past.  Worrying about it and snooping around won't come to anything good.  Sit down and talk to your boyfriend about *your* problem (insecurity) and tell him that you want to fix it but that you will need his help, patience and understanding.  Then do some sincere work on just letting go of the past, and building up some confidence in yourself.\n\nIt's not easy but you'll be way better off in the long run.
71728
Talk to him. tell him how you feel, and if he understands and respects your descisions then thats great! if he doesnt then good ridance! he's not worth it, and he's an as*hole for using you!\n\nBut for things to work out you need to stop having sex with anyone, you have to start loving and respecting yourself, being introduced to sex at young age must have been traumatic for you. \n\nif you like reading books, i seggest you find this book: Title-your past doesnt determine your future\nAuthor: Bo Sanchez\n\nhe has the same problems on what you have, this book is very cheap and so worth it.\n\nif it's not available at your place, give me your address and i can mail it to you, dont give your address on-line.\n\nif you want to talk to me, this is my email: lovesoulmandy@yahoo.com\n\ni've been through, what you've been through. but i overcame them.
171130
FIRST LET ME START OFF BY SAYING THAT I'M SORRY THAT THIS IS HAPPENING TO YOU. NOW EVERYONE IS TELLING YOU TO LEAVE HIM. IT'S EASIER TO SAY THAN TO DO. YOU KNOW IN YOUR HEART THAT YOU LOVE YOUR HUSBAND I HAVE BEEN MARRIED FOR 8 YEARS I SHOULD KNOW AND I'M ONLY 25 HE'S 40. I KNOW HOW IT FEELS TO BE ALONE ALL OF THE TIME. I'M NOT GOING TO TELL YOU TO TAKE HIM TO A REHAB CUZ THEY WILL NOT ACCEPT HIM IF HE IS NOT WILLING TO GO. I'M NOT GOING TO TELL YOU TO CALL THE COP'S ON HIM OR THE DRUG DEALER CUZ YOUR HUSBAND CAN FIND DRUGS IN JAIL AND THERE WILL ALWAYS BE DRUGS ON THE STREETS. BUT I WILL TELL YOU THIS HIS DRUG IS HIS WIFE NOW HE HAS TO SUPPORT HER AND BE DEVOTED TO HER. THIS MAY BE THE HARDIEST THING TO DO BUT IF YOU LEAVE AND COME BACK YOU MIGHT COME BACK TO A EMPTY HOME. WHAT YOU CAN DO IS THIS EITHER TAKE HIM ON A TALK SHOW AND LET THEM HELP HIM OR SIGN HIM IN A MENTAL HOSPITAL IT WILL BE FOR A COUPLE OF MONTHS BUT IF YOU WANT TO SAVE HIM THIS IS SOMETHING THAT NEEDS TOBE DONE YOU CAN ONLY DO THIS IF YOU ARE HIS LEGAL WIFE. BECAUSE HE IS COMMTING SUICIDE BUT IT'S JUST SLOWLY.
115050
I HOPE U TOLD BF#2 ABOUT  BF ON LOCKDOWN. IF HE IS A BIG BOY HE'LL UNDERSTAND THAT IT WAS JUST ONE OF THEM THANGS.AND I HOPE YOU DON'T THINK FOR ONE MINUTE THAT THE BOYFRIEND IN JAIL BELIEVES YOU WERE FAITHFUL WHILE HE WAS AWAY.
564976
I have had a similar problem because my husband died when my son was 10 years old--maybe it was even worse, because my son wanted to be the "man" in the house.\n\nFirst and foremost, if your son is on some kind of drug, then punishment will not work at all--you will have to take more drastic steps.  Before you take any steps, sit down with your son and talk to him---not about drugs/alcohol, but ask him what exactly is bothering him so much that he feels the need to fit in with the crowd.  Maybe that will lead to a more in depth discussion on why he chose to do drugs.  Because, as you can imagine, once he realizes his own problem, there is a chance to fix it.  Just keep in mind that he is a teenager, they will not listen to our preaching, they do feel invincible, they feel they are in control---"it can't happen to me" kind of thing.\n\nIf you can get your son to talk about what is bothering him, the next step would be to involve his father, because it is important to decide togherther on what to do next and how to go about the rest.\n\nSince I did not have a husband any longer I decided to find a parenting support group.  That's where I got a lot of help and that might help you too.  Bringing my problems to this group helped me inasmuch that I was able to change the way I approached my teen, and it also helped me find solutions.\nI enrolled my son in a counseling program and with the help of the counselor decided that it was best to have my son admitted to a hospital for children who resorted to alcohol and drugs.  My son was able to communicate with other children about his problems, got good counseling there, and made the decision that drugs were not for him.  He was uptset that I put him there, but I dealt with that, because the most important thing to me was that my son got all the help necessary out there and it was worth every penny spent, because he is totally away from drugs, was able to join the military, is married now. So when considering your options consider that IF he is on drugs, he will not be able to get out of that alone.\n\nIf he is not seriously on drugs---a drugtest will reveal that(and depending on your insurance it might even be paid for by them), then I really would suggest that you look for a parenting support group to get support and good ideas on how to deal with your teenage son.  I went to a group called Parents Anonymus, I have no idea if they still exist---if they don't, then you might consider starting a group of your own.  The support is important.  Teenage boys in particular are too often thinking that they are a man and do not need our guidance and advice.  Whatever you do, consider that punishment might only be temporarily.  \n\nAnother thing I did was enroll my son in karate---he told me years later that this really helped him to let off a lot of steam.  Teenagers want to have some sort of control, they don't have it because they are still under our care, so they do get very angry when we decide that something is not good for them, and then they do that very same thing, just to defy us.\n\nLastly, I did hear a report on the news not so very long ago that the reaction of teenagers is also hormone related.  Once they are in puberty, there is a constant up and down because their hormone input is not regulated by the brain yet.\n\nI do not know if this helped you, but I sure hope so and wish you the best of luck.
603607
You should have a nice long talk with him and give him an ultimatum. If he loves you, he'd do the right think and not do things that are illegal or get him in trouble.  Who do you think will be visiting him when he's in prison? Not his so called friends. YOU.  Nip this is the bud now babe. You want your man honest, healthy and living life to its fullest on the right side of the law. Good luck hun. Do the right thing.
472639
if you love and respect this guy you will hold off on this.  honor him for his respect of the law and of not wanting to put himself in a position to end up in jail. i understand you have feelings that are strong but imagine what you would feel like if he got locked up and made to register as a sex offender. i can assure you that if you two had to deal with those issues you would have gladly waited. i know its hard but hang in there, and know that before you know it you will be of legal age and the wait will be worth it!
434525
Sorry to say this -- but LET HIS REAR END SIT IN THE JAIL CELL and ROT ... \n\nThat is the ONLY way he is going to GROW UP ... and if YOU or others continue to cover up and enable his abuses (and he is NOT held responsible for his conduct), then he will NEVER grow Up!\n\nYOU need to be strong -- and say NO!  NO! I will NOT post your bond.  NO! I will NOT cover up for you anymore.  NO! I will NOT pay your bills.  NO! I will NOT pay for your attorney fees.  NO! I will NOT take the cost of the Phone Calls you make from Jail pleading and cursing at me for the Bond money/  \n\nNO!  YOU, my son, are on your OWN -- and YOU will be RESPONSIBLE from this time forth.  YOU totalled the car, YOU destroyed Privat Property, and you do Drugs.  \n\nDO THE TIME NOW ... and get yourself clean.  The pocketbook is dry, no more will I be the VICTIM here, and no more will I enable your irresponsible conduct.
541182
Speaking as a Dad with a daughter about your age I have to tell you that I would worry about it... Boys his age have very strong sexual urges... If your mom finds out that you have had sex with him after he turns age 18 then he will get arrested for statutory rape and will go to jail.  That will most likely ruin any chances of him ever having a normal life with a good paying job... \n\nAlso, there is a big difference in mental age between 14 and 17... He may already be driving and is starting to find his way in the world... If he goes to college you can be sure that he will find a college girl because there is so much freedom to do what you want on a college campus and more social situations will come up... Do you think that he will want to show off his 15 year old girlfriend to his college buddies?  Don't bet on it!\n\nHave patience.. Stick to someone your own age (or no boyfriend at all... just friends who happen to be boys).... when you are in college a 3 year difference in age won't seem that bad but at 14 there is a world of difference.\n\nYou may not like my answer but you did say that anyone with an opinion can answer...  Good Luck!
427687
He is a control freak though he must be quite insecure for him to act this way.  Presumably you have confronted him with his demons and asked him why he acts the way he does towards you. And I would imagine that you have told him that you are not happy with how things are between you.  \n\nYou have allowed yourself to be manipulated for 6 years and have done nothing about it, so I presume you were head over heels with your boyfriend. It is so hard to see a person for what they really are when you have an all consuming passion for someone. However, thank goodness you have woken up to the fact that he taking over your life and not allowing you to be yourself.\n\nJust imagine how unhappy you would be if you decided to marry this man. Gradually his possessiveness will turn to violence believe me. Especially if you started a family as he would not be allow you to share your love with anyone else.\n\nYou are your own person with a job and independence, so use that you your advantage and start saving some money so that you do not have to be dependant on him. Can you go back to your folks until you get your life sorted out?. I am sure they will welcome you with open arms, until you have sorted your life out.\n\nPlease do not leave it until you have reached the point of no return and do not let him use the emotional blackmail bit by telling you he will kill himself if you leave him. Be strong for everyones sake and go now...that's if that is what you want and feel there is no way of salvaging this relationship.\n\nAll the best to you my dear. Ax
252269
Been there and done that...not fun!  I feel for you but you have to be strong enough to GET OUT!  I had family and friends to help me out behind his back.  I planned carefully because he was smart and inquisitive, very controlling.  Get mad and smart too!  Figure out his work schedule and get it all done in a short amount of time.  Get a restraining order against him before you go so that you are somewhat protected when you leave.  Go somewhere safe where someone is with you all the time and has speed dial.  Get a plan B so that if this is not an option you have somewhere else to go.  Don't make him mad.  Above all don't let him see you are nervous.  Keep him calm and level headed until you pull it off.  Don't change your routine or compromise yourself.  Be sure to delete all "help" calls off the phone and alert the police of what you are about to do and the day and time.  You can also have the police escort you out once they know the situation if you need to do it that way.  My prayers go out with you!