i have two years left in high school and my mom has been offered a job in north carolina. (i live in pittsburgh now) i have never moved in my life and i dont want to. my parents say we might not move but it seems as if we are. Both of my brothers are or will be in college next year so its just me and my parents. How do i tell or show how much i dont want to move?? long meaningful letter or nonstop calling during her interview?? HELP!!! (the interview is tomorrow..)
129864
write her a letter...let her know how you feel. But this could be something that she needs to do. You will be okay if you move. Life will go on and who knows you might meet some really great people in NC. Do not call her.
519561
You are only feeling the way you do because of the idea of leaving everything that you have come to know and love. I am alot older than you I am sure, but I have moved about 8 times when I was young. We as kids had no say in where we were going and I for one hated everytime we moved I had just made new freinds. If your father feels like this is the best thing for the family and it will improve whatever lifestyle you have I say relax , go with the flow and when you are old enough to get out on your own and you really don't like where you are you can make that change. But as for right now, If it is going to make all of your lives better I say go for it. Seems like your parents are doing whats best for the whole family and KUDOS to DAD for including everyones say in the matter. Good Luck!
306293
I am a single mother of two kids, ages 13 and 14, and i go to college full time.  I just ended a relationship with my boyfriend because he said i didnt havent time for him. He was always bitching so i fired him.  Anyway, i can see where you are coming from.  I talk to someone who lives far away, and i seem to feel like i have known this person forever.  He is really great!  Although, i do seem to have feelings for him, but i really dont think that will work out because of the distance between us.  If he lived closer, and to be honest, with everything that is going on with me now, im not ready for another relationship. Maybe when i get out of school, but for now, just me and my kids and my school work.  Of course, the kids come before everthing.  Anyway, not sure how to give u a straight up answer.  It could go either way.  Good luck with school. I think its great that your doing all that.  Im not working right now and going crazy with it all but i will graduate in December of this year and it will be all worth it!  What ever u do, dont let a relationship come before your son and your schoolwork.  You are working hard at a brighter future for u and your son.  You can do it!  You dont need a man to take care of you or your son. Does the guy live close by?  Anyway, I think it is possible to love someone you never met, but is it wise?  It seems kind of scary, but i wouldnt get my hopes up.  You have to be aware of the possible dangers, even if you talk to him all the time, doesnt mean that you truly know him.  Watch yourself, for u and your son.  We have some real sickos out here.  Anyway, good luck with school and dont give up.  I cant tell u how many times i wanted to give up.  Just watch yourself.  Bye for now!
481363
First, if you're still in school you shouldn't ask your girlfriend to go.\nIt's not right to make her decide something like that. She will not know anyone there so there's no reason apart from you to move. How serious are you? Have you been going out for long?\nYou yourself are a bit young to be moving, don't make someone else your age do it when it's not even their idea. Do not ask her. If she brings it up tell her it's for the best that she stays in Ireland.\n\n\nSecond, the whole moving thing is a BAD idea. \nDEFINITELY do not move just because of nice relatives.\nYou need to find out what else Milton Keynes and England has to offer you. From what I hear, Milton Keynes is a total dump.\n\nIf you haven't been there since you were born or whatever then don't move until you have been a few times and get to know what the area is like, how the college is you plan to go to and if it even offers the courses you want to take.\n\nJust because you want to get away is not a good enough reason to just up and move. \nYou need to think about things and there are plenty of other places you can go.\nIf you need your relatives in the place where you'll be going then you're too young, immature or otherwise just not ready to be moving anyway.
493066
I would not go so far to say that she does not like anything about you.  She just wants the best for you even if it is just the way you dress.  My mom was the same way when i was a kid (not that long ago, i am only 25) and i wanted docs also.  I wore ripped up jeans that were baggy, long tee shirts, flannel shirts and boots. (the pearl jam grunge years) and my mom wanted me to wear cute skirts and dress more fashionable.  It is true that parents just don't understand, but they do love you.  As long as you are a teen living in her house you will but heads about your clothing, friends, music and everything else.  If you don't get anything from this answer i hope you get this.... The minute you move out of the house to college (you better go to college) you will miss your mom so much and she will be your best friend.  You will look back at your teen years and laugh about how you dressed and what you guys argued about.  All parents hate the way their kids dress and it is because they are parents and that is what they are supposed to do.  Don't take your mom's criticism so seriously and just do your own thing (when it comes to clothes). This will change as you get older.  When you are a teen, no one understands you, you don't even understand you and that is perfectly NORMAL (or what ever that is)  Just let it roll off your back and be yourself.  It is good that you don't want to be like everyone else, it shows that you are an independent thinker that doesn't follow the crowd.  The teen years are rough but just be happy that your clothing is all you have to worry about with your mom.  Trust me, so many kids have it much worse.  Your mom needs to understand that your clothing is not a reflection on her, but an expression of who you are and what you represent.  She may be scared that you are trying to represent that you are a druggie (i hope you are not) but sometimes that is parents fears.  You just have to be open with your mom and try to talk to her objectivly about what you wear and what you are doing and let her know that she should be thankful that you are only dressing like a druggie, heheheh, and not one.  I am a mom myself to a 9 month old little boy and i love dressing him like a preppy little man and dread the day when he says he hates the clothes i pick for him and he wants a pair of docs (even though docs are cool) because he will be showing how grown up he is and he is not my little boy anymore.  That is probably how your mom feels to.  Hang in there for a few more years and you will be suprised how different your relationship will be.
263728
I know how you feel! I had the same decision to make. I moved from NYC to OH (500 miles)about 2 years ago, so my son could be closer to his father (He is my ex husband).  Well his father decided to go back to NY and left his son and me here in OH.  I knew my ex for 20 years and we were good friends.  Now I am stuck out here with no family or longtime friends.  But I do have a wonderful career and I am surviving with the aid of one awsome friend.  He has been the one to help with the adjustment of a totally different life.  All I am saying is think before you move.  A month isn't long enough to decide if you should move 2000 miles away. Especially if you just got together.  It takes time and alot of trust to move far away from everything you know to start a life with someone.  You need to know if she is going to be your leaning post when you need it.  A month isn't long enough.  And if it doesn't work then you have to be prepared to be on your own in an unfamiliar place. I wish you luck and hope everything turns out great.  PS - I don't regret anything but just look at every aspect.
289905
Well you have to think over this carefully and take a decision based on what you like more-your parents or your team.\n\nI personally think in a new school you will make it too the team too and make new friends, but then I am a parent too.\n\nRemember, you have to live with your family all along, and traveling may not seem a good idea once you've to do it everyday.\n\nThink over carefully and I sure that you'll come up with a right decision, either way.
575434
You two should have a serious conversation, and decide what are the pros of either of you moving. Example topics of conversation are: where is it more feasible, can either of you relocate your job, what place has more space, and comfort if your combining more than your two lives, who stands to lose the most upon the move, ie. family, friends, etc, and last, but not least, who better has the ability to start successfully over if they have to move.
641733
A friend of mine is Native American and it was crazy when he decided to relocate to New York of all places. There was a lot of turmoil between him and his family because of course they were against it. He asked me what i thought of his decision and i told him to follow his heart. I told him that if relocating and getting out in the world on his own would make him happy then by all means do it. I told him that his family might not approve of it at first but they will always be his family. They will come around sooner or later. He relocated and got a job working as a journalist for Teen Vogue, his family ultimately realized that he was following his dream and everything worked out for the best. This is my advice to you too, follow your heart. If you want to relocate and become independent then don't let anyone hold you back. They will come around in the end when they see what you have accomplished.
416997
No, your not letting your parents down, you've worked their for a while, and im sure they have planned or at least "thought about" you moving on and doing other things. If you want though, you can always ask them what they think.
166212
Ask yourself the hard questions, take your time answering them, and then take action.\n\nIs this your forever man and you need him to get over a few issues, or were you guys pretty much on the way to breaking up until a child complicated things?\n\nWhat are you going to do for a job now?  Where do you want to be in the future?  How can you get there while making a living now?  \n\nWhich town would be better for you and your child?  (The dad doesn't count unless you are keeping him--two hours is not a long drive to visit your kid a few times a month.)  If there is plenty of employment in both places, you might want to move where you will be closer to the love and support of friends and family.  If you moved out of a town that only has jobs at WalMart and McDonalds, you might want to stay in or move to a city with more opportunity.  (Don't move back in with the folks if there is any way to avoid it--move close to them and get them to babysit.)  \n\nLife is a journey and you have to draw your own map.  It is tempting to wander through it without a plan, but most people that do stop wandering and stay in the same place forever.  You don't need to figure out the details, just your direction.  The details work themselves out if you keep pushing yourself in the right direction.
525363
I see both sides.   It is just your first year, maybe you need to give it more time, and ask for help from the university to make it not so hard.    Maybe you need to switch the subject to something that you find interesting.  I am sure that she still loves you.  She is probably overwhelmed by her fear that you will struggle (maybe as she has as a single mom)   I am sure she just wants what is best for you.    I never got to go to college, and didn't want to when I was 18.  But I am 36 now and totally regret it.  I would almost give anything to go back and get that degree.  Besides I read that ANY college degree automatically gives you at least $23,000 a year in salary more than a person without one!  That's amazing.   You need to sit down with you and talk about the options.   Maybe you can come with some alternate ideas on how to succeed.   Maybe something else is going on with her?   If you haven't been around so much because of college, I am sure it's hard to deal with as well for her if you two were really close.   Try to get her to talk, and let her know that you understand her fear, that you won't get a degree.   Tell her that you want to figure out how to get that in some other way.
517869
If you would like to go to work for the bank, the grocery store might be a help. BUT you want to go about this responsibly so you don't get stuck not having a job at all.  I would apply to the grocery store, but keep your current job.  If you get called to an interview, explain that you are currently working and need to put in a 2 week notice so that you can use your current job as a future GOOD reference.  When you confront the current employer with the notice that you are leaving, tell them how you have enjoyed working with them and you want to leave on a good note.  So when you do leave your current job, if the new job doesn't work out for some reason, then they will be willing to rehire you.  It is a safety net so that you won't be without work.  As far as your son and school, you might have to opt for public school until you can get yourself more financially set or look into scholarships that the school/community might have avalible for lower income families.  I wish you the best of luck. I have been in your place as a single mother trying to make ends meet, and I have pulled through.  It is a hard and bumpy road, but it will all work out in the end.  And you going to school yourself can never hurt, remember "Knowledge is Power".
604258
What are your parents' concerns?  If you can help answer or address their concerns, then maybe they'll let you go.  Or maybe they have legitimate concerns that you have not considered.\n\nI hope you can work it out with your parents.
361512
Mom???  J/K.  My younger sister threatened my mother like that not too long ago, sister said she was going to move in with me or her dad.  Well, I heard this and told her there was no way in hell I would put up with her crap and if she thought for one second that she would just move in with me she was sadly mistaken.  If your daughter really feels that way, let her move in with sis or dad and see what that's all about.  It sounds to me like it's just a threat, if and when it comes right down to it she's not going to move in with dad or sis.  If that was a viable option, don't you think she would have done it by now?  She's bluffing, call her bluff.  If you want to move to a better area she needs to be adult enough to realize that you are making a decision that will better your life and hers, and at 14 she should be able to wrap her little self-absorbed head around that.  You are still the adult in the relationship, she is the child and that's what she's acting like....a complete child.  Maybe you can try to include her in choosing where you two will live if you want to try to reason with her that is.  Sit down with her and tell her that you know she's upset about moving to a different area but you would really like her to go with you, blah, blah, blah, do the mom thing.  Maybe if you level with her and speak to her like an adult she will realize that you're not doing this to like totally ruin her life and she will come to her senses.  Good luck.  God, I can't wait to have children!  Hasn't anyone figured out how to skip right through those lovely teenage years?  Alcohol, lots and lots of alcohol.  I'm gonna make a great mom someday, don't ya think?
80237
my dear . . . I am soooo sorry.\n\nYour mother is being a jealous . . . possessive b****.\n\nMost parents want their children to succeed . . . but there are a rare few . . . that will try to hold their children back because they don't want them to do better than they have.\n\nWhat is your plan regarding college . . . will you be moving into a dorm.  Probably getting a part time job . . . did you get a scholarship?  The best thing for you . . . is to get out of that negative environment.  I know it is scary . . . but you can do it . . . and you should do it.\n\nIf you are unable to move out . . . just reply back to her . . . just because I am trying to do something better in my life . . . which you could not do yourself. . . either . . . encourage me or butt out . . . because I won't quit and I don't want to be a loser like you.\n\nWell maybe not in those exact words.  But I think you get my meaning.\n\nTake care of yourself.
457859
I don't know what the hell Sanet is talking about, but it is very considerate that you thought about her in this decision, but the only way for you to truly find out is to sit down and talk to her about it. Maybe you all can come up with some sort of agreement. And if she agrees it gives her time to find a job out where you were transfered.