He lied to get custody six years ago (painted her as an unstable, unfit mother - super crazy saga) & took the kids out of state where he married his online affair the second she divorced her husband.  They have recently divorced, and he has asked my sister to be part of their lives again - with "apologies"   She is consenting because she has lost so much time with her three children, now aged 11, 13, 15, and cant be nearby otherwise.  She wants this happy family, to act like all the drama never happened, focus on the positive, be relieved to be a wife, and be financially suppported again - the one to cook and clean and to nurture the kids, who only saw her a few weeks of the year otherwise.  She claims he has changed, and is hurt that the family is afraid for her (we dont have much, and have drained our resources for her because of him!)   She wants to celebrate.  I want her to take precautions to protect herself.  We cant imagine going through that circus again.  WHAT CAN WE DO? help.
135533
i dont understand how in the world he took the kids away from their mother...that is something that is extremly hard to do in the courts...but i think that if she wants her family back that bad and feels like if she dont have her family back that theirs no meaning in her life then support her but also remind her to becareful and try to save some money on the side for herself just incase...maybe he really does love her and realized that the grass wasnt greener on the otherside and now he wants his old happy life back....just try and help her secretly save some money as a just incase fund....i wish your sister the best
477161
Sometimes, blood is NOT thicker than water. Your are his wife, and now become #1, in his life, along with children, if you have any.\nGoodness, what going on, it's a wonder that you both have not just said\n"enough is enough", and shut them out of you lives. Your husband is in agreement with you.\nWhy not discuss it with you husband, and tell him how you feel.\nYou do have to be rude to his mother, and stup to her level!\nSure, they keep ringing......They want you both to help them now.....\nWhat were they thinking before...that you both would just forget, and forgive?\nAsk you husband, if you can politely say.....Thank you for the birthday wishes,\nhowever, we have a life of our own now. I am sorry, but our hands are tied,\nand we cannot help you in any way....something like that.....\nLet your husband speak to them also.  No way, you both have made a life, without them,and put up with all the abusive language from them....\nTell them to move into the property that was put in the daughters name.\nDo not feel guilty!!!!  and do not change your lives, not with that kind of in-laws.\nGo girl, and your husband.....do not put up with it....you both only live once, and its Your Life and Your husbands!!!!
314473
I've been on both sides of this. I lost my mom when I was only 4 years old. My dad remarried almost right away. I was too young at the time to say anything. But later he divorced her and started dating again when I was like 12 years old. None of my siblings were happy about it. We wanted our dad to ourselves.  Well, they got married. We haven't always liked her or got along. But, my dad is happy and that's all that mattera. I've been on the other side too. I dated a man who had two teenage kids. Him and his wife had divorced recently. The kids did not want their dad to date. They made life very difficult and caused me a lot of heart ache. I really liked them and just wanted to get to know them. In the end I simply couldn't do it anymore and I left. He's dating again but I think he's talked to his kids since then and they are a lot more accepting. Moral of the story: If they make your dad happy try to be happy for him. I'm sorry for your loss.
299676
sounds to me like it wouldnt be very 'easy' for her to gain custody of the 13 yr old. she has a lot of things going against her like lying to the courts in the past about how many kids she has, how some dont even live with her besides this boy, etc. but its hard to say. i just hope that the boy is happy and loved where he is now and wont become a pawn
216899
She is just feeling protective over her mother role.  She is their momma and she doesn't want you to try and fill her shoes or play mommy.  It is very delicate.  No matter what she did in her marriage doesn't matter.  Please be respectful not to push her about being around HER kids.  Respect the fact that she doesn't want you around them right now.  They shouldn't see you two together unless it is very serious.  I didn't introduce my daughter to her now step-dad until I was sure we were going to stay together.  They don't need to see different women in daddy's life.  You don't know how long you two will last just yet.  Give it time!!!!Don't tell her to back off or anything like that, you have no right to.  If you care at all about your b/f respect her wishes!!!  She'll come around if you do.  Don't make it worse, it is a delicate situation!!!  Why would you move in?  This isn't something that should be taken lightly.  Are you even engaged to him?  Like I said, the kids shouldn't see women in daddy's life unless it is serious enough as marriage is!  Sounds like you know you'll disrespect her wishes anyway!  Why ask then, if you are moving in?
664883
I spent 10 years with my first love who did NOTHING but accuse me of cheating. Even after two kids and finalizing my faithfullness with MARRIAGE (which I regreat every day of my existance) YOU dont have to do a DAMN thing to prove that you are what you are, faithfull and a proud mom. Look at how awesome you are with providing for your kids no matter what curve ball life throws your way. It took me to 6 years to stop my putting up with his claims and accusations that I finally dusted myself up one day and realized, (1)How the Hell am I going to keep on putting up with this and (2) why would I put my kids through this? They are such incredible sponges and you are their role in relationships, family and love. My last straw was relationship counseling, that brought out alot of hidden insecurities that I never knew he had as well as shed some light onto several of his accusations. He actually WAS cheating for awhile and guilt wouldnt let him life it down. After 2 months of "trying for the kids" I left. Me and the kids got our stuff together, I fought for full custody and I havent been happier in a long time. There is a sole mate out there for you and HE will FIND YOU, not that you have to force it to happen just because you had kids with the guy. That is the worst reasons. You are making it alone (emotionally, and financially) you can do it without the added pressure of his stupidity. I have all the faith and prayer in the world on your side and you can get through this. You wont be alone, You will be Happy and Stress Free With Your KIDS. They need you. How old is your youngest? How old is your oldest? Dont hesitate contacting me for questions or advice. My heart goes out to you. PrncssNiki@yahoo.com
273556
I would have him investigated. Seriously talk to people who really know him. Maybe he's just trying to ease his guilt of being a deadbeat dad for 7 yrs. What ever his intentions are he is not doing it for your child. I've never seen a child that could not sense good intentions in an adult, they are very perceptive. Your right in being concerned. Talk to your attorney. about keeping him away...and I would not put his name on her  birth certificate. That is something she will have her whole life. Doesn't sound like she would like to see his name anywhere near hers.
461392
I agree with you 100%! I am so sorry for what you are going through but I am heartbroken that she is using the kids like that. She not only ruined her marriage but she is destrying her children. If this is any consolation to you, your children will end up hating her for what she is doing and one day they will turn on her for that. I am sure that doesn't make you feel better because you don't sound vendictive at all, and I am sure you don't want your children to hate her. But in all honesty, that will happen. I have seen it happen quite a lot. \nTry a mediator.Document everything! Tape phone calls if you have to cover yourself. Communicate with her in writing, so everything is documented. Reassure your children of your love and do not resort to her ways. Give your children and extra hug when you see them and find a good attorney to help maitain your visits with your children. Be the better person out of this because you are right, the law does seem to side with the mother more often, so you, unfortunately will have to work even harder.\nI am a female, married with a wonderful son and I have made mention to this abuse by women over and over. There are some women who live through hell and back and deserve to fight tooth and nail for what they deserve and then you get these type of women who abuse the system because they feel they can.\n(I don't know the whole story and I am only going by what you said, truly there are two sides of every story.)\nGood luck to you and your new marriage. And keep in mind, she is jealous, that even though she cheated on you, you moved on and are happy now. She thought you would fall apart. That's why she is acting that way. \nBe there for your children, they should be the main concern.
495944
What has happened here is NO one is the LEADER in your home structure---Think of it as you will as a term I'm going to steal from the Dog Whisperer----Someone needs to establish themselves as PACK LEADER...In your case---NO one is giving leadership to your children---As parents we are the ones to be the role models and show leadership to the children to give them guidance and support to be responsible adults someday.\n\nyour 14 yr old should not be allowed to date and be on the phone all hours of the night---Boundaries should be set and enforced with consequential punishment if the boundaries are crossed.\n\nThe younger children ages 11 and 9 should also have bounderies set for them too----it's like MONKEY see MONKEY do!!! \n\nIf these younger siblings see what their older sister is doing trust me they'll do their best to copy whatever she does---\n\nYOUR WIFE (x) should be setting an example for these children--If you don't have a court order in place you should ----and have the petition granted that negativity and verbage of negativity not be allowed in front of the children---and using the children for your mental health and venting anger towards either parent is WRONG----\n\nIf you are just seperated ----FILE for that divorce---and get something documented and granted by the courts!
527872
I was actually in this situation. I told my sister that I saw her husband kissing a girl in his work place. She called me a liar and didn't speak to me for a year. She called me to come and get her and her son. She was pregnant and he had run off to California with the same girl I saw him with. So if this person were to tell his sister, he needs to be prepared to take some punishment.
337482
yall need to take this witch to court, cause if he aint on the birth certificate, he might not be his, thus he aint gotta pay nuttin, and if he is the father, she cant do that, he needs to take her to court and let them set child support, and then the game is over.if she trys to stop visitation granted by court, she goes to jail.he needs to put her in her placce, how does 11 more years of her crap sound??thats what i thought, she cant run shit but her mouth, also, if it comes out this kid isnt his, did you know you can sue her for all the money he has put out?? save your receipts and make sure he never pays her in cash again.i have been through that. need more advice, email me at fairyprincess122076@yahoo.com
147845
Since your husband's name is on her birth certificate he is her legal father, even if he's not her biological father. The two of you are married now. You've made a commitment before God to love, honor, cherish and be faithful to one another till death parts you. Are you ready to trash it this quickly? You and your husband need some serious marriage counseling before it's to late to salvage your marriage. If he refuses to go, go alone. At least you'll have some help dealing with his horrible behavior. I don't know how any one could not love such a precious little one. He knew it wasn't his and he married you. Made a commitment to you. He needs to learn (through counseling) to deal with the fact that he's her dad! To heck with the biology! I pray the 2 of you can find a way back to the love that brought you to the altar in the first place! God Bless!
586351
First, Darlin', know that she wants 2 things. One, to be valuable, and two, she really is trying (in her own way) to look out for you. My son (Ian) and I just had this conversation yesterday. He (Ian) is almost 28 now and we were talking about Mike, his brother (they are twins) who got engaged at 20 to a woman 7 years older than he was. At the time I told his brother that he was too young and inexperienced to be ruling out his options, and that marring a woman that did have experience would mean that he would never win an argument with her or be equal in the relationship. He (Mike) thought I was raining on his parade. Yesterday his brother (Ian) and I were talking about how it is so hard to shut your mouth when you have had years of experience and know what your children don't. Ian was saying that he wished that his brother (who is now married with a small child) had listened, and that he can now really understand how frustrating it is for a parent to have experience and want to protect their child. \n\nIt is really hard on your mom for you to grow up. She is afraid that you won't need her anymore and she is trying to prove her worth by giving advice, a little too enthusiastic, I agree, but still, try to keep where she's coming from in mind. So, why don't you try this. The next time you are expressing a thought and she cuts you off, say "wait just a second, Mom. I really want to know what you think and I want to make sure you have all my thoughts before you give me yours, that way you will have all the information and I won't have to interrupt you." Try it and let me know if it works. If it doesn't, I can think of a couple of other tactics. \nGood luck!
29857
I cannot agree or disagree with him.  I was not present during all of those 4 to 5 months that the couple was dating.  He says he never promised her to get into a serious relationship, but did he ever tell her that?  Did he just lead her on for the sex?  Did she ever ask him what his intentions were?  Did she just assume that because they were having sex that the relationship was serious (or would lead to more commitments)?\nAnd what business is this of yours (unless the woman was your sister)?\n... and don't you just hate it when somone answers a question with a bunch of questions?
471126
It sounds like your sister has already given up on her relationship with her husband if she is openly talking to you about this other guy.  I would sit her down and tell her that she should try to find out what happened in her own relationship to make her so unhappy and get counseling.  Tell her if she decides to divorce it will be harder to split assets with a house together.  It isn't your place to tell her husband although you feel you should.  It would never end well for you.  Tell her how bad it makes you fell that she is deceiving her husband.  If things are so bad she should get a divorce first and look for another man second.  Maybe you could tell her that if she doesn't tell him before they buy a house together you will.(Even if you won't)  Maybe that will make her think twice and she will either tell him or not tell you the dirty details from now on.  Good Luck
261312
I was kinda in the same situation your half sister is in.I was seeing and moved in with a man everybody was warning me about.The more they said to me about him , the more I tried to make it work.It didn't take long for me to find out they were right and I left him one day while he was at work.I packed everything I could get int my car and left.If this man you are talking about is really a bad person, your half sister will see it. Just back off and let things happen.Nobody wants to hear "I told you so" That might be what's pushing her into the relationship.If things get out of hand with the kids and you KNOW he is hurting them in any way, maybe you should turn him in and let the law handle it.If he can't see his own 2 kids there is definitely something wrong there. Good luck!!
268953
Dear God in heaven. Please do SOMETHING to help these children!!!! Even if you have to call child services on her! Something, do something, so these children are not abused any longer. This is about these kids, not you, not her, not your fiance, THE KIDS, THE KIDS, THE KIDS!!!! It's not about him cheating or yall staying together. Nothing is unfair when it comes to helping children have a normal, secure, abuse free home. Your were NOT wrong in telling her this, someone needs to take them away from her, asap before she kills one of them. Please help those kids.