Keep in mind I truly love her and she loves me too.. But I'm not sure if my dating her may affect negativly with her son and husband..
120094
It's not suggestable...but many have done things out of 'love' that they probably shouldn't have done..\n\nThe facts are, if she doesn't love her husband she should divorce him, but she should do this before dating you. \n\nThe divorce stages are mind boggling and become very cruel in most cases, especcially when infidelity is an issue. (I have seen SO many people that have made a mistake of cheating), and they paid for it...any proof of the affair is brought up in court, and some have had to pay monetary damages to their soon ex-spouse for cheating and breaking their marriage contract.. One that I know of not only received money from the spouse.. but also the person they had an affair with...So.. no it's not a good thing to get involved with a married woman.  \n\n'Her son'..or 'their son'?  Because if the boy is a result of their marriage and relationship..it is the husbands son too...and he (the husband) will always be connected to your lady friend through their child.. as they should be. \n\nThe child, depending on his age could react in many ways..if he's really young the divorce would probably pass by with some uncertainties of "If mommy got rid of daddy, will she get rid of me too?" And if he's old enough to understand, then he may resent you for being the guy who caused it, even if you aren't THE reason .. you will be the easy focus for a kid to understand. \n\nIf you truely love her, respect her enough to leave her marriage alone until she is able to decide that she loves you enough to disolve the marriage and date you. My gut instinct is.. you're a fun on the side distraction to her, and she doesn't plan to leave her husband for you...and everyone desrves something more than just to be a 'second best waiting in the wings' (Just being honest)
166570
Her life is not any of your concern.  Its her life and she deserves the right to make her own mistakes.  Who knows, this really could be love between them and he may change is leaving ways just to be with her.  Focus on your life and not hers.  If you interfere with her relationship she will only grow to hate you and you will never have another chance with her.
357088
A!!! He loves everyone in the family not just you and one of the kids. All women should know that they can only be with a man if he loves her AND all of the kids!
69577
Why should you care?  She can waste her time all she wants being in love with him.  The key is that your man is in love with you and pays this woman no attention at all.  If she can have any affect on your man then your issue should be with him and not her.
525482
Play it down, some mothers push their daughters into relationships and maybe your mom thought because he was at your place for Thanksgiving that the relationship is more than what you both want it to be.  Next time you see him just tell him your mom does that to you all the time to pressure you into forming a long term relationship.  Bye the way I find it a bit odd that your guy would take it so seriously, so he must be leary of committment to a certain extent.  Play the whole situation down and for your own sake ease off on the guy for a while if he really likes you he'll come around.  I feel badly for you though, it must have been embarassing. One other thing I'd have a chat with your mom and ask her to please never to put you in that position again.  Just tell her that you'll let her know when she's allowed to tell someone your dating that she loves him, sounds as if she was inviting him to be the "SON IN LAW" and he probably freaked.  Good luck
269333
Me being a strong black woman I would have to say yes and no. How would you know if it's what you want or don't want if you never tried, is your mother a beautiful woman of color and how does she feel. All of us (black) don't come with drama or negativity some of us have class and goals and morals and in all actuallity drama is in every race we're just more out-spoken and often may hit but other races seem to be catching up if not passing us with the drama. So ask yourself do you love this girl for her color or for whom she is becuse if you truly loved her you would'nt be questioning her race because love has no color or boundaries. GOOD LUCK!
34753
If she is indeed separated, and in the process of getting a divorce, I don't think that it is necessarily a bad thing.  Just make sure both of you are in the relationship for the right reasons.
23999
Who cares what others think.  If you and he both think it will work out, than it will.  If he treats you and your kids great... wonderful!  Maybe he seemed mature before because you didn't know him very much, or maybe he was depressed, and now that he knows you, he feels like he can really be himself and have fun.  I wouldn't worry about anything.  Sounds just fine to me.
370315
If i didnt have my son then yes i would die for my hubby. It would be selfish of me to leave my son without a mom,,considering im the only one besides my mom he has. I think you should have tried to help her more instead of leaving her. She never talked to you again beause she probably figured that if you two were to get married or something you would never have her back,,,you just left her to die..to look out for your own self. I would try and help anyone in that situation being family or noone i even knew....but thats just me.
111472
I used to have this same problem with guys I used to date but, I found the love of my life and I can't stop talking. I feel comfortable around him. I know that he will not judge or think less of me for what I have to say. Maybe she does not feel comfortable around you. Maybe she is afraid that you will judge her.
306634
I have a 27 year old stepdaughter with a 5 year old son. I met her father 3 years ago and have been married for about 1  1/2 years. She has been nothing but trouble for the past 3 years. She has said and done things that I would of never thought of doing to another person.  My husband's first wife (her mother) died of cancer and everyone of her family said she was treating me bad because she was grieving for her mother.  Well, I don't believe that one. I also lost my mother to cancer and I would of never dreamed of treating any one like she treats  me.  So from my point of view : you go your way with her dad and let her go her way. But don't kiss her azz, she needs to grow up and let her dad be happy with you. So what if she does not like you! I am sure you will survive without her liking you.
522421
It is going to get harder on you, rather than her. The shots are nothing compare on what your feelings will be. When she starts getting her shots, her hair will start growing and her voice will changed. You must really love her to go through this with her and not leave her alone. But your feelings is what I am concern with. You will experience, the lost of a wife, you will get angry because she is doing this to you, you will be in a sort of merry go round, for a long time. She will be too, but not as much because she is doing what she wants to do. One thing I will tell you, you are not responsible for what she is doing, it is not your fault, it is nothing that you did. Try to get some help for you in the meantime, because with all the changes in her you will be feeling less than a man. Remember, my friend, you are a good man, and the same man you have always been, keep your head up.  But I must tell you also, you are a very strong man and I do salute you for that. God be with you both.Sincerely, Boricua
355509
It sounds like your relationship is great but one thing that worried me - you said you were worried his family wouldn't like you - you should meet them first, and make sure he meets yours first.  \n\nWhen I first started reading your post I had my doubts, BUT \nI don't think the age difference matters in your case.  In some it does, but your relationship does seem more mature.  People always think I am too young also.  I'm 19 and getting married next summer too.  I love this man and he is my best friend and my life partner.  We've been together since I was in middle school and we've grown up together and are still growing together.  I think it's amazing to find a love like this when you are so young.  Don't worry about what everyone else thinks - count your blessings that you have something that some people NEVER find.  \n\nJust be sure you have the same goals, and plans for the future.  For example, in a few years you are going to want a son or daughter with him also.  I am sure you love his son like your own but the time will come when it will drive you crazy that he is not your own and you need to make sure he will be willing to have more children.
382547
I don't mean to sound judgmental or anything but you shouldn't be even thinking about it.  She's WAY TOO YOUNG for you.\n\nBesides, just because she looks like your wife who already passed away (which I gathered the reason why you want to date the 18yo) does not mean that she is "your wife" and will never be.\n\nNo two person can ever be alike, so don't get any ideas.\n\nSorry if I sound harsh, but that's my opinion in this whole situation and I would rather be honest and upfront.
644327
Tell her you'll be patient and want to work things through with her. Show her how much you love her and the baby but be firm in awhile and say you need her to pay attention to you not worry about him.... If she can't get over him than you better move on cause all you'll be is second best.
493771
All that info and non of it really maters. The question is whether or not you love her. If you do stay if not don't. Life is to short to spend it putting it off.
136663
I am in the same boat right now! So, I know how you feel.  I just am there when she needs to talk.  I do not offer ANY negative input about MY feelings about the guy, just listen to how she feels and try to give her answers that are somewhat neutral.  Good luck!