I once read "That who never forgets, has not entirely forgiven" or something like that....sorry for the spelling.\nBut I don't know,I forgave someone that wasn't a really good friend because she said really nasty things about my family but I'm never gonna forget those things, u know...\nWEll just tell me what u think, for any reason do you forgive and forget or just forgive or never forgive...
120836
Good Question, human nature is not to forget. I think it is possible to forgive without forgetting. Forgiving is easy. Forgetiing is not, especially the pain. Forgetting may never happen, however do not make it a habit to shove the mistake down the person's throat. Not forgetting doens not mean living in the past either. In other words...don't keep bringing it up. if it bothers you talk to her about it. Otherwise...sorry..no forgiveness\n\nOne more thing...always forgive. It is an act of selfishness. Forgive the person for yourself. \n\nI know where you are coming from. You probably wont ever forget. But I think you forgave her.
159510
When something similar happened to me, I tried to forgive but I could not forget. I ended up having to leave him for my own sanity. That level of betrayal is unforgivable.It sucks but you don't seem to be able to move on with her so maybe you so move without her.
304541
The power of forgiveness is amazing.  It is the hardest thing to do but has amazing results when you do it.  It may just seem like the "religious" thing to do, but you need to release that burden of the past and put it back on them. When you don't forgive someone it only hurts you-- not them.  So let it go-- the best you know how.  I am a christian but I have seen the power of forgivness in my family who is athesist.  God Bless you and I hope that you don't have to live in this forever.  :)
242892
Well it kind of depends on how badly the other person took the 'misconception', they might never forgive you, or they might not ever be as close a friend since they felt you betrayed their friendship.So actually there are more than one chance that you cannot revive the friendship. \n\nBut, if you are determined to try you ask the person to meet you in a neutral place, or go to their home after calling and letting them know you are coming, and then you tell the whole story and apologize profusely and explain it is all your fault and ask for forgiveness, if they accept then tell them that you miss their friendship terribly, and would like to renew it if it is all possible, and then you cross your fingers, because they are either going to say OK they missed you too,  or they are going to say you destroyed the friendship and they cannot trust you again. \n\nEither way, you will have your answer and you can go on with your life knowing that you tried.\nGood Luck
93747
That's exactly what happens to me with a close friend of mine.. \nso i've been thinking about it hard lately .. esp after i tried every way with her.. i talked to her about it many times .. i got mad at her.. i forgave her a thousand times.. so the last thing i decided was to tell her for the last time the way i hate it when she does things that hurt my feelings and told her that now she knows what bothers me and that im not gona talk to her or call her until she thinks deeply about it and realizes that i really get hurt and make sure she wont do it again and is ready to change the way she treats me in order for the past not to repeat itself
121775
It isn't anyone's place to tell you how you is right or wrong.\n\nI can tell you this. Hate uses up a lot of energy. \n\nI was face with a big forgiveness issue a few years back. I found for me that I first needed to define what forgiveness wasn't rather than what it was.\n\nIt is not saying it is ok what was done to me.\nIt is not saying I have to trust this person\nIt is not saying I have to let this person hurt me again.\n\nSo what did I conclude it was for me? For me it is just letting go and letting be. It freed me up to focus on going on with my life and establishing relationships with other people who would not be hurtful to me.\n\nMy two cents worth any way.\n\nI wish you the best.
667106
It depends how much she hurt you and with what.\nI do believe we can be forgiving and forget but some people think we should   be like them and forget in a second all their agravations.  Some times sorry erases nothing because they do it again.     If she is that way when she gets mad continuously, she will hardly change; or change for a short while but then go back to the same old habbit.\n\nGive time apart to heal and then decide weather or not she is worth of continuing a friendship; forgiving is good for you; not just for her but for you speacially.\n\nIt all is your personal choice but I know by experience that abusive people really do not change that and if they think we can easily forget offenses then they are cruel.
79793
Well, no matter what, I think you should forgive her, but since she brought someone else, that's really low, and I think you should waste time with people like that who can't solve their own problems without someone who's really pushing them to another perspective. Forgive her, and tell her that, but that doesn't mean that she has to hang out with us, Nicole, trust me.\n\nYou people are really... well, Nicole got hurt, and I personally know her, and she is DEFINITELY NOT selfish, so get that out of your heads, people! Our friend IS mean, she sent me REALLY mean IMs, so answer to THAT, OK?
131153
All friendships have their "ups and Downs".\nIf you expect someone to be perfect and never make mistakes, you will end up very lonely.  We all stuff up and do the wrong thing from time to time.  It's our true friends who will stick with us through it though.\n\nIf you are thinking of ending the friendship, ask yourself "Have I ever done something similar?"\nIf you really can't forgive her then move on, but if you can forgive her, put it all behind you and start from here on.\nDon't keep bringing up what she did wrong, but do be more cautious until she proves herself trustworthy again.
31699
Not all things come back to you.  Life is not a story book were all the villians are punished.  That said, what may happen is that your deed is remembered and another person will suffer for it, because they won't be trusted.\n\nYou wrote "there is no way I can apologize". You can apologize, but what you are afraid of is that there is no guarentee you will be forgiven.  That's a chance you ought to take, not only for your sake, but for the sake of the person you wronged.\n\nThe word "Forgiveness" comes from a Greek word which means "to let go".  To let go...of the past, the anger, and whatever else is involved.  Perhaps,....just perhaps...you will have a chance to experience what forgiveness means on a deeper level. \n\n Take the chance.  Apologize.
161993
Well it's not realy that hard. I also got a lil problrm that i am in with my friens but I will tell u what i think. If they are realy true friends they will forgive u no matter how big ur lil problems are. I know it is sometimes hard to admit that u might be wrong or that u were or are wrong but soetimes it is the best thing to do. But yea anyways alway forgive but u don't have to forget.
41899
I had that problem as well for a while so I sat down and wrote out what I thought on it from what I knew and learned.  It's long so bear with it...\n\nWhat is forgiveness?Each person has their own definition of it. To some it is never talking about it again. For others its pretending whatever it was never happened. Still others think its absolution of guilt and minimizing what happened. Still others it means giving up thoughts of revenge. Finally, some feel it is as simple as giving up the hate. Which is right?\nOK, let’s start somewhere else… Firstly, why SHOULD you forgive? Is it really necessary? That is dependant a lot of you and your school of thought. Most Christians point to the phrases in the bible and say it’s gods plan. Others are more apt to put forth the proposal that is makes you a better person. But does it? Is it truly necessary to forgive someone to grow? My personal belief is this; it depends on what you are forgiving. Some things are small and don’t really mean that much so it’s not a big deal, forgiveness is easy there. But what about bigger things? Things that affect your life and your mental health? That is where it gets more complex… Anger, hatred and rage are there for a reason some times, all of us have felt them at some point in time, they are normal. They are there to tell you something is wrong and you need to work through it. Depending on the offense forgiveness isn’t automatic. It takes time. Sometimes forgiveness is NEVER warranted, EVER. Think about it, why should you forgive someone that isn’t the least repentant for what they did to you? Then there are truly evil acts that should never warrant forgiveness. Yet as mature adults we, mostly from teachings when we were small children, feel that we have to forgive someone no matter how heinous the crime. Step back a bit and think about that… Then ask yourself why? Why are you forgiving them? Is it because that is how you feel or is it because you were once told that is the proper thing to do? Which is it? What we are never taught as a child is that anger is healthy and the expression of such is right, we sometimes have a reason to feel that anger. And to get better that anger is needed. Only after you have worked through that stage should you consider forgiveness. Even then sometimes you don’t need to forgive someone. I hear the gasp from here so bear with me… Why should you have to forgive someone when you don’t feel it is warranted? The answer is you shouldn’t. There is nothing in this world that tells you it’s a requirement. Think about it; aren’t there some things done that don’t ever warrant it? No, forgiveness doesn’t make you better than them, really it doesn’t. Forgiveness will not get you into heaven faster. Forgiveness won’t make what is done to you go away. Forgiveness truly can only come when YOU are ready for it, not before. If that never happens then so be it. Just because you don’t and can’t forgive someone doesn’t mean you are filled with hate and rage, it just means you are unable to make that step because you don’t feel it is warranted, no other reason.\nSay you are ready to forgive someone for something fairly big, OK your ready to tell them all that and shine your halo a bit. But before it goes that far mayhap you should ask what their definition of it is. If it is we will never discuss it again, it never happened or that it’s an absolution of guilt back off! That is not forgiveness, they want you to forget it happened and let them off the hook. That is not forgiveness. Just because you FORGIVE them doesn’t take away their culpability in the matter or make it so it never happened. No way, doesn’t work like that. If they want absolution send them to church, that is the only place they will get it! No one ever said if you forgive them that you can’t ever talk about it, they just don’t want to is all. Forgive and forget is all wrong because as much as you try you will NEVER
61252
You forgive people for your own sake as well as for theirs.  If you hang on to the anger and bitterness you might feel for someone who has wronged you, you are hurting yourself, and probably not hurting or affecting that other person at all.\n\nSo forgive because it is good for you.  Rise above needing the other person to feel remorse.  Forgive for yourself, for your own well being, and we will all be better for it.
655050
I always listen first....and then think.\n\nIf someones says I have hurt them, then I really have hurt them.\n\nI listen to what they say and then filter it.\n\nI'm a Pastor's wife. Sometimes people expect me to do or be someone I can't be.  Like they want me to stop by and visit with them to chit-chat when I just don't have the time.  They have unspoken expectations...and they get hurt when I don't meet them.\n\nI listen to their hurts, and apologize for the things I don't measure up in.  Most of the time they are right in some way.  I don't go and visit them...regardless of the reasons.  If they were sick, I sure would find the time to visit.  \n\nAnyways, listen to the complaint, filter out the truth and apologize for your shortcomings.
347219
I didn't cheat but my ex-husband did. I guess that tells you how it ended. When we went to my parents house to spend weekends he was sneaking out with my younger sister after I fell asleep. My sister confided in my brother and my brother confided in me in return. So my loss was my jerk of a husband(no big loss) and the love of my sister(big loss). We do talk (now) but we will never be best friends as sisters should be. I did forgive her but I will never trust her again but she did open my eyes to what was going on behind my back not only with her but with several other girls where we lived I came to find out later.
618069
I used to have a very close friend who turned out to have a very nasty temper lashing out at whoever was closest.\n\none day the target was me - and such thing were said that were totally unwarranted that the trust we had was destroyed (before this it was only rumour i had heard but hadn't seen anything like that in the 2 years i had actually known him)\n\ni still miss the friendship i thought we had but even though it was said in a rage i found that trust could not be regained\n\none can forgive the person but it takes two to rebuild trust again.  part of that process is the rager to acknowledge the harm that their outburst does without trying to downplay it - if they cant do that then your relationship may never be the same again\n\nbest thing then is to learn from it several things\n 1 - something once said cant as easily be taken back again\n 2 -  don't bottle things up until it all goes off bang - keep a shortish account of things you need to sort with people\n 3 - don't keep company with bad tempered people - either it rubs off on you or they will turn their anger onto you deserved or not
668556
i think the begging for forgiveness after a sin is a cop out.people know that killing/cheating/etc are sins yet they do it anyway knowing that they can always ask for forgiveness when they shouldn't even be thinking of sinning,if they're actually "religious"(who are suppose to be loyal&true to their god.)killing/cheating/etc are conscious decisions & deliberate actions.people don't just accidentally cheat on their significant other.i don't buy into the "i'm not perfect.i make mistakes.i'm human." excuses for their evil/sneaky behavior.there should be zero tolerance.you are clear about the rules yet disobey anyway due to temptation/etc.therefore, repeat offending sinners will be denied & punished accordingly:)