Ok all i want to know really is why guys don't see that watching porn or looking at it when they have a serious girlfriend is like cheating in the girlfriends eyes? All you think about is your pleasure, how about their feelings? You are essentially saying that they are not enough for you to get pleasure from. You have to go else where.
133978
I think that it is cheating as well. Like you I am in the same boat. At first I was very angry and upset and so I asked other people if I was over reacting. The thing that sucks is that every one has their own opinion. I was getting different answers from them all. I say once you have seen one you have seen them all and there is no point to wanting to look elsewhere, otherwise what the heck are they with us for, just a recepticle? I am in a predicament my self but with strip clubs and porn so don't feel all alone. Keep your chin up and try to work on a resolution and compromise. I hope this helps a little to know that you're not alone. Just so you know if you let it continue to bother you it will become a trust and respect issue. So don't badger him to change because it won't work.
250592
I totally know that knot you are describing. I think lots of men do look at porn but I wouldn't say all. It doesn't mean you aren't good enough or anything and it should only really be a problem when he turns you down for sex and turns to porn instead. Talk to him calmly and ask him why, but try not to act like a mother scolding a wayward child. Hope that helps. Take care of you.
446598
There are two kinds of males who use the internet.  Those who hide their porn well and those who do not.  Guys look at porn, it is nothing against you or any other woman.  It does not mean that he doesn't think you are attractive or that he would rather be with someone else.  I'm not saying it's a pleasant thing to discover, but you gotta admit, it's better than him cheating on you.\nYou can allow yourself to get all frustrated or you can try to fix it.  Often, things become routine and not as interesting.  Men like variety.  That is why some men cheat.  But it is totally unnecessary and unacceptable.  You can provide your man with all the variety he needs.  Perhaps a little new lingerie would be a good idea.  I would recommend a DVD on Kama Sutra Tao,  The Sensual Art of Making Love.  It is a very good dvd you can watch together.  It is done in good taste and not crude.  It will relight his and your fires and you won't leave the house for days.   ;-)
1668
I dont really have the expertise to answer this question, but from listening to many many wonderful chastity speeches, I know that the way that it will affect your relationship the most is the same way it will if you watch porn. Men who take part in these things are proned to a dissatisfication that develops in their relationship because there are these women or photographs of women who will pleasure you whenever you want, no strings attached. It may create restlessness in you where even though you promise to be loyal to her, your old habits will die hard.
108874
All men watch porn and all men m.a.s.t.u.r.b.a.t.e and all men do both at the same time if they have the chance, and this has nothing to do with loyalty or fidelity to you. This will be true for every boyfriend you ever have.  So the question for you is, do you want to accept this fact or not.  If you are accepting of it, that's one more thing that will make you special to your boyfriend.  If you are not, and your bf feels he has to conceal this part of himself from you, then you are inviting the seeds of dishonesty into the relationship and inhibiting closeness between the two of you, if only in a small way.  That's what's at stake here.\n\nHow about watching some porn together with him?  That would certainly demonstrate acceptance on your part.  If that sounds too uncomfortable or scary, then watch some porn by yourself first.  At the very least, it will get you over the shock and embarassment stage of looking at porn.  \n\nWatching porn and maybe fantasizing about different things is not the same as doing them, and you shouldn't feel bad about having "shocking" thoughts cross your mind.
438417
Most guys when they find out that their girlfriends want to talk about their relationship or feelings or whatever, they think that there's a problem or something. Guys are like that, they'd never examine or look into anything at all unless something is wrong with it. Not a lot of guys talk about their relationship with their girlfriend just because they should. It's usually only if there's a serious problem or something, otherwise they'll just think then what is there to talk about ? what is there to say about it ?
413640
No you are not overreacting.  Obviosuly this will not be a very popular answer, but whether it is "natural" for men to want to look at porn or not, doesn't mean it is okay.  First of all, pornography is dehumanizing because those women are not being appreciated as human beings, but as sex images.  They are photographed so that people can lust after them secretly without actually "doing" anything.  Secondly, since you are his wife, I'm sure it bothers you that he looks at porn!   You are his WIFE-the one he is to cherish above all others.  I don't say this to condemn him, but if he spends time looking at other women's bodies besides than yours, then it is is not putting you first.  He is getting his sexual graitiication elsewhere.  I think it might be helpful to find out why he feels the need to dabble in this.  Does it help his self esteem?  Is he bored?  Explain to him how it makes you feel and that you are willing to work on this with him.(?)   I don't want to step over any bounderies here, but MAYBE you could even offer that if he'll make an effort to stop, you'll make a conscious effort to make it worth his while  more often, if you know what I mean;).  I hear Victoria's Secret sells some fancy lacy sleepwear. ;)
193916
Nothing, it's what society has taught us, the whole double standard thing, if a guy talks about sex he's a stud, if a girl talks about sex...let alone likes or likes porn...she's a slut, this is not true, there is absolutely nothing wrong with it.
326381
Let's deal with this first. You need to understand that for a man, having a woman, even loving that woman, does not make all other women undesirable. GOT IT? Think about that for a second. A man does not cease being attracted to women in general because he loves one woman in particular. Digest it. Meditate over it. LIVE WITH IT. I dig where you are coming from on an emotional level because i had to enlighten my GF on this issue. I had to make her understand that my love is not suddenly questionable because i got a lap dance. u may not be ready for this type of reality. but print out this response. read it every so often and eventually u will come to the realization that not only am i right, but that you, just like my GF, are being irrational and immature.\np.s. HOW IN THE HELL IS WATCHING PORN COMPARABLE TO ASSOCIATION WITH "FRIENDS" OF THE OPPOSITE SEX. NEWS FLASH! IF U LOOK LIKE ANYTHING, ALL THOSE MALE "FRIENDS" WANNA SCREW U. IF I WERE HIM I WOULDN'T BE TRYNA HERE THAT SH!T EITHER!!!
183033
Looking at porn doesn't make someone a bad person but it could mean that there are bigger problems to deal with. I'm working on my minor in psychology right now and taking a course called human sexuality. Sometimes an obsession with pornography and a strong need to look at all women who pass could indicate some sort of sexual addiction. You have to take care of yourself and only you can know whether it is hurting you ar not. Just remember that it is not going to just go away because you two are closer or because you are having sex with him or you get married. He may need pornography now to get aroused. I think you should talk to him about it and maybe the two of you should get some counseling if you are serious about each other.
367282
All men are visual creatures.  Most men like to look at the female body, we find it attractive.  We do not have sex with a woman based on the way we "feel" about her, it's about the way she looks.  Just because your husband is getting the visual stimulation from watching porn, it doesn't mean that he isn't attracted to you.  He propbaly lied to you about the porn because you admitted to watching it "to make him feel okay" and he believes that you dissaprove of it and he doesn't want to offend you.  So, if you are truly okay with it, let it ride.  If not, he'll keep hiding it.  Nevertheless, boys will be boys, don't let it get to you.
548002
Its not your fault, he is looking for excuses and you are the one he is blaming.  I dont have a problem with men or women looking at porn, but when it takes the place of intimacy between the two of you then I consider it a problem.  You shouldnt have to have sex with him in order for him to stop looking at porn, he is looking at it anyway, so nothing you can do and have done has been able to stop him.  If your sex life with him was enhanced by his looking at porn it would be a totally different matter, but its not.  It sounds to me like sex to you now is a duty rather than being a pleasure.\n\nI think this man has a problem and you are taking his problems and placing them on your shoulders.\n\nI dont know what the answer is because you have done and are doing everything and he is still blaming you for an unsatisfactory sex life.  What is he doing....is he comparing the women he sees in the pornography with you?  If that is the case it is wrong.  He has to stop it.  You need to tell him that his watching pornography is getting in the way of a healthy sex life, and you need to tell him straight that its not you who has the problem, its him.\n\nWhilever you accept the blame for his shortcomings, he will continue to treat you like this.  Its seems you are doing all the doing and he is doing nothing to cement your relationship.  If I were you I would just tell him straight, tell him if he doesnt enjoy sex with you and would rather watch porn then it is a waste of time having sex.  Turn it around on him,  make him feel "bad" for a change.  He is having it all his own way and what are you getting out of it?.....A whole lot of stress.  You probably do not feel attractive, sexy or even worthy.  You have to stop lowering yourself in trying to make him happy.  Its called reverse psychology.  Withdraw the sex totally and see how he likes it.  Tell him if he is not satisfying you and all you feel now is having sex with him is a chore and you wont do it any more.  You could even go as far as telling him that if he doesnt find you attractive and he is not interested in satisfying you, then you are sure their would be plenty of men who would.  Take the hard line with him.  He's got you over a barrel...he is blaming you for the lack of intimacy.  You are doing everything right, yet it is still not good enough for him.  Hes just a selfish SOB and you need to tell him that.  Your needs are just as important as his needs, so stop seeing yourself as inferior to him.  You are his equal.  Yeah, maybe you do have some insecurities, but I bet if he loved you like he should your insecurities would slowly disappear.  I believe your insecurities are being made worse by his behaviour.  He needs to take some blame in all of this because I honestly think he is the one who is more to blame.  He is the one who is making you insecure.  Stand your ground with him, be strong.  Stop pandering to him all the time.  Be strong and make him accept his part of the blame.\n\nYou deserve much better than this, you really do.
296827
I don't think its all wrong for you to give your all when your in love, but that has to be both of you doing that.  I wonder why you are having these feelings of him looking at other girls, and stuff because if you were truly happy there wouldn't be thought like this!  I will tell you that its normal for a guy to look at other girls.  Its in a guys nature to do that, but cheating isn't.  Looking is one thing cheating is another.  I would just watch how much of yourself your putting forth and how much of himself he is putting forth.  I would hate to see you get hurt because you put to much of yourself into him!
278347
No.  As a woman, I'd rather my man look at magazines and adult porn at home and play out scenes with him to spice up the sex life than having him go to escort services, approach prostitutes or call girls, or go to strip bars.  That's just too personal and one on one - and more temptation to cheat.  Just my two cents.
86174
I love to watch porn with and without my husband. We both sometimes watch it alone and we both understand that it has nothing to do with the other person. So it might not be personal. You can just see stuff in porn you can't always see at homen and sometimes it's just fun to see it alone.
88388
Depends on the man. Some men are not afraid of intimacy and would use porn to enhance the act of it (with the partner sharing the porn as well).\nSome men use porn to subsitute needs not met by the partner they are with (but who would never cheat on thier partner - in effect remining "intimate within the relationship" as it were).\nSome men use porn as a device to avoid true intimacy.\nMost men a visiually stimulated. And it's part of our primal nature to look at other women.\nSo - to sum it up - it's the MAN and not the porn that is what is a determining factor in intimacy.
120003
Men are very visual creatures. If they see something they like, they look. Hell, women, look, too! There is no shame in that. The most important point of the matter is that even if he is looking at other women, he's going home with you!