I'm into a relationship for nearly three months now.The first day I saw my boyfriend,I knew that he was the one for me.He has a MBA diploma from Harvard and working in  a top position in one of the biggest companies in New York.Actually the day we met,he looked incredibly charming in all that business suit and stuff.And he's good fun too!\nAnyway.Last week we finally got a bit closer in his apartment after a nice expensive dinner out.This was the first time we were getting this close actually.When he got undressed,I saw a huge scarification covering his whole back.And many bruises,scars,burnt marks even infected ones!!\nAfter I saw that I thought that he was probably an sm and didn't even wanna see the rest of his penis!I mean I couldnt stand seeing a pen** pierced with a barb or something!!!\nI made up an excuse and left his house without getting any closer that night.\nDo you think he is into masochism or something?\nShould I the relationship continue?
131926
I think you should ask him about the scars and stuff, before you make up your mind.
287692
YES! You should. See, he had the guts to come and tell you, if he had done it on purpose, he would have tried to hide it from you. This girl took advantage of him and while it may have been his fault, the beer didn't help. Make it clear you aren't happy and you are going to forgive him this once. Perhaps give him suggestions to make it up to you, like taking you out to dinner or something extra special. Make him work a little bit to say sorry, but make sure you make it clear you forgive otherwise you may lose him. Everyone makes mistakes. To Err is human, to forgive is divine.\n\nPerhaps talk with this girl and make it clear that this was not okay. Tell her to back off and perhaps get your anger out on her, not your boyfriend, cause it sounds like she was just waiting for him to get drunk. Being drunk, you can't remember anything and everything becomes a bluf, so an offer of sex would be pleasing because you didn't know any better.\n\nFYI, don't become overly suspcious and break up with im if he looks at another girl (and I mean just looks). Men are attracted to all kinds of women and him looking at another girl and staying with you is a compliment of how he loves you more than physical attraction could bring.
456784
I think that it might just take a little time. You have told him it was just a fantasy and that you would never hurt him and that is all you can do. He might just be a little jumpy about it. But he is still with you and it will just take time. Hopefully after your reassurances and you not hurting him (which you wouldn't) he will get that it is fantasy and maybe will let you inact some fantasies. Have you discussed his fantasies as well?  It might be that he has some on the same lines as yours. I wouldn't worry too much about this and never think that you are messed up for feeling the way you do. It's a part of you and you hurt no one and are just being true to yourself. No thing to feel guilty about at all. I envy you because I have still not told my girl about my fetish. It took courage to do what you did and that's great. Just hang in there and eventually he wil see that there is nothign to be worried about. Take care and good luck.
264942
I actually know what you mean.  At one of my gf's parties i was having fun just talking to this guy and my gf saw that and gave me this look like what the hell are you doing.  She is my first gf too and I haven't really been with anyone else, so I can understand what you must be feeling or fearing might happen.  My gf made it real clear that she was a little disturbed by what she was seeing and after that I realized how much it bothered her and now I am more aware of what I can and can't do.  With us it is kind of a little game though. She has done the same thing to me.  She will look at other girls and make comments just to see my reaction.  It is kinda funny that she is worried about me however, because she happens to be bi while I find myself more straight up gay.  I should really be more afraid of her time alone with a guy she finds attractive.  Perhaps what your gf is going through is similar.  Maybe she knows it bothers you or maybe she is just not sure how much it bothers you. I would definetely talk to her.  Communication is always the best way to treat little problems like these.  Be honest yet compassionate and not too firm with her.  It just seems that the trust between the two of you needs to be strengthened.  Number one thing.  Be brutally honest!  It tends to work out more than not.
445099
Seriously. You had no issue with him giving her a massage in and of itself? Seriously?\n\nYour boyfriend is apparently not studying massage therapy. The fact that he gave your girlfriend one is shaky by itself. Now, the fact that she was naked? Does this not send off red flags in your head at all? It's not normal for people who are NOT massage therapists to give each other naked massages. That's called "flirtation and maybe sex, depending on how good it is."\n\nIt doesn't matter whether or not they had sex during the massage! At this rate, if they haven't had sex yet, they probably will soon! I'd get myself out of that relationship if I were you - before you really get yourself hurt!
267197
Then he is ONE of the HYPOCRITE CLUB members.\n\nAll this while he WAS lying to you. Sweet promises from your boyfriend.\n\nNow, he is gone. But please don't label ALL BOYS are like that, okay? There are a lot of boys out there who is SINCERE (like me :) ) in Love and all. \n\nIt wasn't your fault sweet heart. I'm so sorry :-( But cheer up, okay? We are here, to help you.\n\nYour situation is hard. I'm sorry to say that I don't think he is SINCERE relationship with you. One day, I believe God will PUNISH him. Don't worry sister, he will SUFFER.
464040
Do you like it when he does it hard? Excuse me Bonnie, dont let a man control sex? Since when do men just beat up a womans body if they control sex. I am sure that happens, but I think that is a pretty stereotypical comment.\nI think it is important to have a mutual relationship and equal control giving and taking... I think that you just need to tell him what feels right to you and if its hurting after the sex and its bothering you cause of that, then tell him so. He should respect you and you should be able to be open about that. It probably is some minor irritation or bruising if he is doing it too hard and nothing to be alarmed about otherwise. If it starts happening other times then consult a doctor. Just know that its your body and you need to take control as in being open about it with your partner
611992
Babydoll, I think you haven't really thought this through too well. This  piece of buttwipe did you a favor & you want him to hurt you more?? If you ever think about relocating to The Sun City, you come on over & "Holla" at me & I'll be showing you what it feels like to have someone care about you, your feelings & not be such an arsehole to continuously rub your nose in mistakes of your past (believe me, I should know about mistakes from my past!)
348053
insecure a little,are there any other signs.unexplained money missing,new jewlery,or new underwear for him not tighty whitys?ask him what this big secret is a a true and open relationship knowing everything is what belongs on the table.Where where you for those two months?is he  worried that you were with someone else.keep those lines of communications open or your find yourself on the road to failure.Explain to him how much you  love him and that you feel that heis holding back on info is putting a wedge then listen to see what  is said.you may not like it,it could be anything.sometimes men who dont watch "porn" could be anything from simply having respect for a women the act of making love to he may have been abused in his life at some point this is very difficult for men to talk about the whole macho thing.listen be strong and find out the secret for both of your sakes.
222620
In the early stages of any relationship, it's easy to have blinders on. To not want to see who and what the other person is made of. Don't be too hard on yourself, you aren't the only person in the world who has done this, and god only knows you won't be the last! \nMy question to you is this....Now that you know this info...what are you going to do with it? \nHoney don't stay with someone who emotionally, sexually, or physically abuses you. You deserve so much more!!!
33640
I know i am not a guy, but can i would like to share an experience.\n\nMy boyfriend now, was my first, and i was worried about the same things. He could tell, as soon as he stuck a finger in me.  He actually loved the fact i was, and was patient with me. He loves the thought that i'm experiencing everything the first time with him, and he can show me how to please him.  Its has been 8 months now, and we have an awesome sex life.  email me if you have more questions about this....i have been there.\n\nallyalexmch@yahoo.com
426419
Yes, you did the best thing.  You were honest with him about what you wanted in your relationship with him, and I won't give you the unprotected sex speech, and he didn't want to commit to you because he was already seeing someone else (and still having unprotected sex with you), which is why all of your apology attempts didn't matter.  I'm unsure why you were apologizing since you didn't do anything wrong but ask for a monogomous relationship.  You're better off without him and the fact that you wished him well just shows that you're taking the high road.  I highly doubt that this current relationship will last very long, but if nothing else, please protect yourself in the future!
128503
*shakes head* Woman... I would RUN so fast and so FAR in the other direction after packing my kids up!\n\nI dealt with a man for a year - who was addicted to all kinds of porn, tried to get me into working with him for a porn site, had a foot fetish, and the last straw was him watching chicks with d**ks do each other.\n\nIf it was a simple, stupid mistake for your man, then fine - but check the history on the computer for the next 4 weeks. See what the heck else turns up. This is not something that a 'normal' person would find exciting and enticing.\n\nMind you, I'm not against gays, porn, etc... most things are good in moderation  - but I just remember how much pain I went through trying to save my relationship after all the truths came out (after 8 months of being together) and how the last 4 months together were HE**. I'd hate for anyone else to go through that...\n\nGood luck... be well.
672706
Glad you can admit you're no good to him or any other good guys out there.  Break up with him, coz you're obviously not in love with him and you don't truly appreciate him, and it'll be better for him in the long run.  As for you,  I 'm not sure if you could ever find true love only because you may cheat on the next guy you're with.  I can only assume that you need a lot of attention, and ONE guy can't fully satisfy you.  Do him a favor, leave him...he doesn't deserve you.  Give him a chance to find someone who will love him and appreciate him.  If you're having seconds thoughts about being a whore, then hopefully it will be the last time he will forgive you.  For him not to move on from all this suggests that he has some sort of low self-esteem, AND you sleeping around just adds more to that.  Stop making him miserable, he deserves more than you.  Stop making yourself miserable by "feeling guilt".  If you truly feel this, you wouldn't have cheated on him again and again and again.  Once a cheater, always a cheater.  Good luck on finding the right guy, coz the next guy may not be as a doormat like this current one.  OR the next one will cheat on you too.  So take your pick, karma's a b**ch.  And as you've heard it, what goes around, comes around.  Also, I hope you didn't transfer any STDs to your so-called boyfriend(don't tell me he's just a friend).  You only have yourself to blame.
21172
He might be ashamed to admit his fantasies to you, especially if they're considered "taboo" by general society. Trust is often something that has to be built and earned. My boyfriend and I share everything, but it took a while for us to get to that point.
582801
How about a bad break up story? \n\nI was waiting for my b/f to bring me my boom box to teach a dance class. He was supposed to be there by 8pm. We waited and waited for him. At 2am when the place closed, I walked out with my students and friends to find a note on my car. He said that he had waited for me but since I didn't come out (like I was supposed to know he was outside!), he had to leave a note. What it came down to was that he was a coward and couldn't break up face to face and in front of my friends. \n\nAnyway, after telling me that afternoon that he loved me, he told me in the note that it wasn't working out........what a loser! I am better off without him!
192251
If you're in a trusting relationship, it all depends on expectations.  Obviously, he should respect you enough not to cheat, but if you let him know that you are uncomfortable with his actions, he should care enough about you to at least tone it down.  It's natural to admire people of the opposite (or same, if you swing that way) gender, but it's not okay to be overly gawking if you are in a commited relationship.  I always try to join in on the action by agreeing with him.  Is it enough to know at the end of the day that he's going home with you?