I need to know real ways of building self confidence. I am in a relationship and I think my lack of self love is starting to effect our relationship. This guy means the world to me so any help you guys could give me would be greatly appreciated.
119564
First move. Get that comment, i am aloser out of the about column. Assess whats good in u. u arent an addict,an alcoholic or an insensitive creature. People love u. u r liked bysomeone. they have expectation from u which means u have capbilities. Keep ur chin up., and move on with life.
393355
You're half way there! Good for you to realize this now!!  Strength and self-esteem will  sky-rocket!! Then, when you're ready..you'll chose a much better man.
646455
Seems like you have answered your own question, where is the relationship if there is no trust!!! I know what you mean tho. you can't change someone, they have to recognise their failings, and choose to do something about it. Try speaking with him about how you feel and see what he says..Then you will know whether he is willing to make steps to change his behaviour toward you, if he doesn't then you know what youve got to do
225888
First issue its nice that you want to make him happy, but don't completely get rid of who you are to completly cater to him.  Ask yourself this question... While your sitting up here asking you could do to be perfect for him, is he asking what he could do to be perfect for you?  You cant make someone else the complete focuse of your life, ive seen it happen so many time where girls definition of herself is her relationship and the shits not healthy.  Make sure you love yourelf before changing yourself for someone else cuz if he loves you for you thats all you need to worry about.
496159
You just need to boost your own self confidence a bit. Think to yourself that you are more then worthy and the best thing out there. When you believe this there will be no problem.
634858
Let me give you a piece of advice, and take it from the heart: I'm just going through a divorce from a man who never once paid me a compliment the whole time we were together, all he did was to say, you would be pretty if you lost weight, changed your hair, etc.  \n     If he's this stingy with his compliments, take it from me, he's a lousy boyfriend and it won't get any better, because he's got a tiny, shrivelled up, cold heart, and he's also mean spirited. Don't you feel like you deserve better? Trust me, you do. I found someone who thinks of me as "voloptuous", not fat. Which one do you think I'm with? That's a no-brainer!\n     Do yourself a huge favor and dump this loser now! You'll be glad you did, there are so many warm and loving guys who will love  you just like you are, but you won't find them while you're stuck with Mr. Wrong. Good luck!:)
86084
I think U just need more self esteem and confidence in yourself, and learn( and I mean learn) how to love yourself and realize that U R a special person! also, learn patience!\nI think U communicate very well judging from your writing.
231933
Why are you dating him? To raise your self esteem?\n\nPeople can't lower or raise your self esteem only you can!\n\nIf you can't love you then no on will!\n\nStop being overexcessive about nothing. Think of better things, so what if he doesn't call? Are you going to just stay there and be depressed, when he probalbly just forgot?\n\nIt doesn't mean anything unless you want it to be!
575709
Confidence comes from within......you have to believe in yourself that you are worthy of the best and go after it.  You have to learn to take risk....such as if there is a girl that you like, approach her and ask her out.  If she says no, don't go into a shell.  Keep your head high and learn from that  and move to the next one.  Because one day someone will accept.  I know you have heard the saying if you don't love yourself how can you expect others to.  People only see what you see.  If you see greatness others will see it too.
336149
Confidence is a mental thing.  I had the opposite problem, I was insanely skinny, and had no muscle on my body.  Even after I got rip and cut, I still didn't have confidence.  What helped me, is that I took up interests the helped develop me as a person.  For example, I took on karate.  It was hard for me to pick up, but once I got into a rhythm I felt better about myself.  Also, I stopped putting myself down, and tried to look at everything in a positive light.  For example, when things didn't work out for me in anything, I just realized I needed to be proud of myself for at least giving it my best shot.  Finally, NEVER STOP LEARNING.  Try to learn something new every day if you can.  Read newspapers, magazines, keep up with current events, etc.  If you pick hobbies that will develop you, look at the positive, and constantly try to learn about the world around you, you will develop more confidence in who you are.  I wish you well!
239178
why are you such worried about that .. give yourself the full chance to try and fail .. that;s the real experience .. and that 's how you will reach the right soulmate .. but never waste your time waitng for the perfect .. keep trying keep enjoying what you have. and be yourself .. avoid the mistust or the cautious pratice in love.. it immediately kills the pleaure and lead to unhappy love.. \nthat's the trap many women fall in when they start to follow their mistrusting feelings about their lovers and themselves .. \nYou have a precious heart so never surrender that being afraid of romance or the fear to be easy to guys .. \n\nthis will never mean to abuse yourself or to let others maipulate you .. iam just trying to let your real experience grow in a natural way..
328547
Until you decide to love yourself unconditionally you will not realize that if you are willing to take the risk to give someone your heart you deserve the same in return.  If you have the capacity to love a guy without expecting anything in return you are better served focusing that love without conditions on yourself, in the end you will find that not only are you a happier more self confident woman, but guys like the one you are considering will be fighting for your attention.\n\nDon't sell out your integrity.  Don't undervalue the worth of your attention and love.  If you don't value it, no one else will, and this can only lead to heartache.\n\nGood luck and keep your head on straight.
376370
You need to take things slowly. Trust is sure a serious issue for everybody who's been betrayed before. But the thing is, you don't wanna be like that forever. You need to open up slowly. Then if you're dating somebody, you need to talk to him about your trust issues, maybe he can help you deal with them. But ultimately, you have to deal with it alone. You have to see things differently. It's a start, right? Instead of thinking that he's going to betray you or take advantage of you, look at it this way. He trusts you enough to let you see a side of him, isn't it only fair that you trust him too to let him see that side of you? I mean, am I making sense here? It's like doing yourself a favor. Stop thinking about the worst things that could happen. Start thinking of the good things that will happen. I'd say its a good first step. Life is all about taking risks after all.
621879
inthisskin22x,\n\nWhether your boyfriend suffers from a mood disorder or not doesn’t change the fact that he is trying to manipulate and control and abuse you. So far, you have allowed him to succeed. I hope that you will remain firm in your resolve to leave him behind. It is the only solution – no matter what he says or how you feel.\n\nThe reason that I am answering your question is that you have touched my heart, and I care about what happens to you. My concern is that you will begin another relationship without resolving your own issues. Your boyfriend has issues that make him unsuitable for anyone at this point, but you are not ready for the new relationship that you seek either.\n\nPlease don’t make the mistake of rushing into another relationship before you correct the problems that got you into this mess in the first place. You probably think that all the problems that you experienced with your boyfriend will not influence your next relationship, but you suffer from low self esteem.\n\nYour low self esteem caused you to allow yourself to be treated in a way that no one should be treated. It is also the reason that you have to ask everyone else what you should do instead of just refusing to allow yourself to be mistreated. Boys and men like your boyfriend are attracted to girls or women with low self esteem. It is the only way they find someone to mistreat.\n\nI know how to help you with the low self esteem, but it is not an overnight thing. To really be successful it could require up to 3 months depending on your desire and commitment to work at it consistently.\n\nI can tell that you are really sweet and a really nice person. I am not putting you down for anything that you have done or anything that you haven’t done. It isn’t your fault – I am sure that you are doing the best that you can with what you have to work with. If you really want to change, I can help you to help yourself to have the tools to succeed at life.\n\nGod bless.
260858
You have to trust in yourself and your worth. Trust in the fact that you will find a good man who loves you for you. Values your opinion, views, sense of humor, personality and how your dimple shows when you smile. He's out there. Don't give up.
132402
Most men who would not do not have alot of self confidence. They will look and say she is pretty, but dont believe they deserve someone that pretty. \nYou deserve a man who is confident, and loveing is comfortable in his skin. You must also believe in yourself and bleive for the man you want. Don fall for second best. \n\nAnd not good to tell a man he is second best. that is part of what makes men less confident in themselves. When leaving them just agree that you are not best for one another.
625277
Well it seems to me that you are an insecure person and you suround yourself with people who are equally insecure as yourself.  Because to you it's easy that way.  It's easy to live unchallenged and it's easier for you to just take what is offered.  When you don't like a situation that you are in you have to figure out how your gonna change it.  The first step is too stop taking advantage of other ppl especially if they let you because they are just as lost as you are and you will surely never find your way.  The next step is to work on being comfortable with yourself.  You have to be by yourself to do that. I would suggest that you stop dating or having any type of romantic relationship because nobody will ever be able to appreciate you if you don't even appreciate yourself. And then , after all that is worked out, you find a good secure, honest, independent woman, that isn't gonna let you fall back into your usual routine.  After that i can't say it will all be wonderful, but at least you know its something that you want instead of something that's just there. Godd luck!