I think its so disrespectful cuz its like he's saying im not good enough.  He says he wants to cuz its his lifetime fantasy. But i told him that i don't want to share.  He says its not cheating cuz im there.  I know he wouldn't have sex wit another w/o me at least.  How do i talk 2 him about this?  Is this normal?
130406
I hate to say it but yeah its normal for a guy to want a 3some.  Just be honest with him, tell him why you don't want to have one, let him know what bothers you about the idea of having a 3 some, but don't get upset if he gets upset at you for not wanting to experiment with him.  Good luck
533695
You are not the smothering type like one person above me said. \n\nYour boyfriend sounds like he's trying to have his cake and eat it too.  You nailed it when you said: "To me, I think this seems like he wants to be able to have me around if/when he wants me, but for me not to get mad if I can't have him around when I want him. Like he wants to be with me, and for me to be there for him, but he doesn't want to have to be there for me."\n\nI knew a guy who was sleeping with this girl for a year and a half and he refused to call her his girlfriend..he just told people they're "seeing each other."  This generally means a non-exclusive relationship, and while he was sleeping with her, he was also seeing other girls and possibly sleeping with them too.  \n\nTell him you're not looking to take a step backward and that if he wants space that badly then he can have all the space he wants because you're leaving him.  He doesn't want to be committed to you? Then he shouldn't get sex or anything else from you.  Don't get used.
301680
You have to realize, he is a guy, and sounds like a young and immature one at that. People in general do not think about things before they do them, and this guy sounds like he really does not care about anyone but himself. If I were you, I would look at it in a positive manner... At least now you know how he is and you don't have to worry about dating the guy then finding out he is that way. You are much better off. Besides, he may have made that comment because he is so insecure about himself that he has to put someone else down just to bring himself up. Don't worry about it, there are a million good guys out there looking for a great girl, you just have to look in the right place. And by the way.... Looking for guys in clubs you rarely find love, but you normally find a lot of cocky jerks. Good Luck in your search!
469956
Why should he say he loves you? He's getting sex after a matter of hours with a person he hardly even knows.  He's not an amazing guy, he's a user who doesn't love you and is using his "hurt in the past" thing as an excuse to 1-keep doing you and 2-not offer you any commitment. :\nLove isn't over-rated-- HE is.
286156
He's just trying to convince you to have sex with him.  The truth is there are a lot of people out there who date and don't have sex.  Next he'll probably tell you,"well I guess your still a baby since you don't want to have sex. I'll go find someone else" LET HIM!! It's just another ploy to try and get you to have sex with him.  People who love each other don't try to force their partner into doing something they don't want to. Besides this guy is already a loser, do you want to be the next girl he got pregnant and doesn't have a realtionship with?
599650
hmm 2 questions at once ok. Well 1st off the sex ? it's a big deal when made a big deal. It when wanted brings to ppl together in a special way. There's bonding there. If you dont want to do it then dont. 2nd ? you asked no do not go along with that relationship you dont seem to care about him so why worry about it. Let it go just let him know that you 2 aren't together in any sort of way.
7245
You're not cheating, you're just outsourcing your orgasms. That's not horrible, it's just practical. If he wants you to be faithful, he should keep up with your needs.
298449
Your boyfriend is using the situation to manipulate you into doing his sexual fantasy.  He has got this idea into his head as to what he wants you to do, and now he is looking for any excuse to get you to do it.  He probably wasn't even that mad about the phone call, he just saw an opportunity to get his way.\n\nFrankly, the guy sounds like a loser.  He is trying to completely control you and force you to do things you don't want to do using emotional blackmail.  Move on.
208909
There's nothing wrong with you.He says he's attracted to you and you do have sex,just not that often.If it bothers you I'd ask him whats going on.Tell him his behavior makes no sense to you, it makes you feel insecure and you need to know why he does this.I'm sure the two of you can work it out..good luck!
627890
God bless you, All you can do is stay normal as you can. Do not  push your limit, make him comfortable when he is with you. All (REAL) mans are looking two things in their life, first good sex partner and  second, somewhere back in their mind they are looking for good homely atmosphere (meaning they want to see how comfortable they are with you), if you offer both of these two things to him. then you must 'BELIEVE ME' he is not going anywhere, he will be with you forever.
563985
sounds like he is in denial.  he is trying to make himself enjoy sex with a woman which incidentally doesn't reflect anything about you.  you need to quit having sex with him because you are just setting yourself up for a fall.  he is at the very least bisexual.  trust me most heterosexual men would cringe at the thought of a woman doing what he asked you to do.  tell him you love him (as a friend) will support him 100% if he wants to try to come to grips with the reality that he is at the very least bisexual.  You can't make that decision for him he has to do it on his own however you can protect your own feelings and the best way to do that is to end the sexual aspect of your relationship.
184048
if he's only talking about sexual stuff, avoid him!! He's not worth it; he'll just get what he wants and then leave you hurt.
514298
Are you for real???\nLet me tell you! If you feel your being lied to! then Dump his azz! there are losts of men out there! And some pretty damn good ones too! Sounds to me like The guy in question is not only disrespectfull, decetfull, but is probably inexperianced with women also! Remember!\nOnce a cheat! Always a cheat! Dump him!
614623
Buy a web cam and put yourself on the site.  Tables are turned.  Wish I had the guts to do this, if you do go for it.\nI agree with your feeling that it is disrespectful and still cheating in a sense, but my husband feels they are not real people to him since he doesn't know them and will never meet them so it is not cheating.\nAt the risk of being repetative as I said this in another answer, someone once explained this to me about my husband's similar habits:\nIntimacy means "in to me I see" and you cannot have strickly sexual relations with someone you are romantic with without intimacy, but some men cannot handle that and cope by these anonymous sexual exploits.  \nUsually sexual addictions accompany other addictions like alcoholism, but not always.  Is there another problem?  Has he always done this or is it starting recently?  How long have you been married?\nThe above reasoning sometimes soothes me and sometimes doesn't.  The main thing is respect yourself and be true to yourself - if that means leaving then. . . If it means staying and working through it then. . . What would truly make you happy in the long run?  I love the straightforward answers people give, but when emotionally involved it is not always that easy and you sometimes just need a new perspective.\nHope you find a simple answer or at least the best answer.  I will be following your question closely.  \nWish you love, luck and happiness in everything!
578478
THIS IS JUST MY OPINION HON OKAY....I DIDN'T GO INTO YOUR PROFILE SO I DON'T KNOW HOW OLD YOU ARE..IF THE SEX IS GOOD AND HE PLEASES YOU TOTALLY THEN THAT AREA IS GOOD BUT IF YOU FEEL HE IS TELLING YOU HE LOVES YOU JUST FOR SEX SLACK OFF A BIT AND SEE WHAT HAPPENS...START SLOWLY WITH SOME EXCUSES ONCE IN A WHILE...IF HE REALLY LOVES YOU HE WOULDN'T EVEN ASK YOU TO PROVE IT....HAS HE HINTED AS TO HOW HE WANTS YOU TO PROVE IT?
66660
This is one of those things that it's all in the persons point of view. He may just be viewing it as a form of pornography which wouldn't be cheating at all and may just be getting himself all warmed up for a night with you. OR he's losing interest within what he has and things need to be spiced up a bit. If he starts acting differently towards you than I would seriously consider having a sit down and talk session with him and get both of your view points out and let him know that you don't approve of him watching other girls on the computer while they pleasure themselves.
674564
No it's not bad for you not wanting to. One question to him is: "I will have another woman in the bed with us, as long as I can have another man in the bed with us first".  Usually, they will stop and ponder for a moment.   I am a female, I have done that, two times.  I first want to know, how old are you two.  If he is in the range of 18-25, He probably won't be as sensitive to you not wanting to.  What it comes down to is respect, if you want to do it, then fine, if you don't then, no.  In my experiences, it does ruin some aspects of that relationship, the trust, the "what if" questions are on your mind.  If he cannot understand why you don't want to, then he is not worthy of having you.  Also, that is the most common male fantasy.  I think he may want bragging rights.  Good luck, and don't be forced into it. and if you decide to go through with it, try to relax and have fun, but, depending on how long you two have been together, it can be detrimental to your relationship.