is it normal for a girl to pay for few things on 1st and 2nd date?i just dont feel comfortable guys paying all the time for things,i make good money,it makes me feel that they may think i am using them.so should i continue paying or should i stop?
134464
50/50 on first date...then go from there!
91928
It really depends on how much you like the girl.  Going Dutch is a good idea because some girls might think that if you pay they can count on you to buy them things and that might influence their feelings about you.
122082
According to her stiffing you on the date, and her reaction to asking about it, I say it's a no-win situation.  It could definitely happen with someone half your age, but I don't see it happening any time soon.  Girls at 18 are still just girls, regardless of how grown they think they are.  Younger guys are more apt to deal with this sort of behavior, because it's a younger people-type problem.  \nI won't shame you for going after a young woman, as you seem to at least have your head on straight, which I have come to find is STILL somewhat rare in men, even up to age 60 (I could be wrong, but you made it sound good)!  But I think you'd be better off to deal with someone closer to your age, even mid-twenties.  Why?  I'm 24, and I'm gaining a preference for men in their mid-thirties, though I do find people who impress me at younger ages, and older men who still disgust me with their antics.  \nI think it's probably best that you let her deal with her peer pressure and peer group mingling, and move on to greener pastures, lest you drive yourself crazy and find out I was right several months later  ;-)\n\nGood luck to you  :-)
629170
Some problems with dating people from different backgrounds are:\n\nGoing Out: If you are accustomed to going out and having fun and your date can't pay their way and you want them to go, and you are comfortable with paying, that's fine except at some point they may resent you paying for them all the time.\n\nGift Exchange: Anniversary rolls around--you get him an MP3 player, he was too embarrassed to get you a card, even though that was all he could afford OR he goes into credit card debt to buy you the necklace he knew you liked.  You don't want him to go into debt!!!  but, you certainly can't return the gift w/o insulting him.\n\nMoney Sense: She learned about money from her parents, so even if she improves her station in life she may spend it unwisely and therefore be poor and make you poor.\n\nStability: People in different stations have different comfort levels about money--some people need retirement funds in their 20's to feel safe and some people spend every dime every paycheck.\n\nForever After: It is really about if each partner is okay with the other one being the way they are.  Maybe she is of a lower station and wants to stay at home and take care of the kids and the higher-station man is okay with that.  Maybe he works for $6/hour doing what he loves and she pays the rent with her executive salary.  Whatever it is, it has to work for both people.
394599
yes, you should. \nand if she IS a feminist, and if she insists you split the bill in half or pay for it herself, be firm and say that you had invited her, so you would do your part and pay; that it had nothing to do with feminism and all that, and that you're just doing this because you'll feel bad if you dont.\n\nif she's a nice girl, even if she IS a feminist, she'll accept it.
253165
Hi, here to help. First of all, I believe you are encouraging the behaviour a little. You are not completely to blame, but you are encouraging it. This is gonna sound old school, but really you should think about the old saying telling people that they should not kiss on the first date. And this is true.\n  When you kiss on the first date, or even have sex, etc. it makes you appear a little bit easy. Although guys will definitely not argue with the kiss or the sex, they still like to see a girl give them a little bit of a challenge. When you do these things on a first date, you are leaving little to the imagination. Waiting makes the heart grow fonder or something like that, is a very true statement. It is the excitement of the anticipation of waiting.\n  Personally, the first date is very awkward. It is meant for getting to know the person, and seeing if you would like to date this person for a second time. When you kiss, it leads to other things...You sound young, and if I am right, the guys that you are dating are young as well. Believe me, all guys of any age will try things when they kiss you. However, you are in control. You do not have to let the guy feel you up. You can gently place their hands back down on their sides. And if they ask why, you have the right to say you are not ready for that....And you can say this at any age too! I have done that.\n But really, I think you should not be kissing on the first date. Just try and wait, and when you have that first kiss with that special someone it will be more than worth the wait. I am sure a lot of people will not agree with me on kissing on the first date. But it does make you appear more of a lady to the man. I have gotten much more respect when I did not kiss someone on the first date. Usually after the kissing comes other things so in my mind you might as well just wait and enjoy the part of getting to know one another.\n  Love comes with getting to know someone. Unfortunately guys are not like women and are not overly emotional right away. It takes time for a guy to love. They do like the physical aspect first. Take your time girl because you have plenty of it.\n  I have kissed on the first date, and honestly, those are the guys that have not worked out...I don't know and I can't speak for everyone. But I also know that I have enjoyed the anticipation of waiting for the first kiss...\n Good luck!
345700
thats funny..\nI dont makemy moves on guys.....lol\nreally I dont its kinda low cheap!!!!!!
45971
Depends on the girl, honestly I wouldn't care. Most people do have cars. don't date a girl who doesnt have one either cause then you will be walking to your dates. Just ask her if you think she'll have a problem with her and she will be honest. Offer to pay and take her somewhere nice and she won't care at all.
66444
It is like that in the United States too . . . women expect men to pay for everything . . . dinner, drinks, shopping sprees, etc . . . if not they hold out.  And if they did . . . women still hold out . . . depending if the guy is hot enough.\n\nThe entire dating scene . . . is a form of legalized prostitution . . . that is it.\n\nWomen will deny it . . . but it true . . . \n\nAnd I have source for you to listen too.  A radio personality in Los Angeles . . . who is now streaming on the internet between 3pm - 8pm Pacific Time (US)\n\nyou can listen live by going to http://blowmeuptom.com . . . and click on the listen live link.
282176
Only if you stated that as a condition for the date. Otherwise he thinks he is paying for the dinner in return for your company. If he thinks buying dinner is buying something else ... dump him and run. Offer to pay him back for dinner just to get rid of him and to let him know you aint no ho.
662298
When you say "date" do you mean that you've only dated occasionally and that you are not seriously involved? Or "date" as in, you've been dating for sometime, are serious and involved? If it's the first...then you will survive and move on with your life. If it's the second...you will go through a variety of emotions and eventually you will recover, hopefully with your dignity intact.  Do not chase after him. Let him go and do whatever it is he is doing (running,hiding, laying low).  There must be a reason why this has happened. If he owes you $$ for rent, utilities, bills, credit cards, etc., then talk with a lawyer about ways you can get back monies owed you. Let someone else contact him in legal issues, stay out of it.  The best of luck to you, hope you have a strong network of friends and family to aid you through the process of moving on.
535762
you are a girl - they always go for the money and do the other guy on the side - ah duh
101163
for me, it depends more on where we go on the date, not how many dates. [example: if a guy takes me to the movies and dinner or something simple, I'd be comfortable pretty quick. But if he tries taking me to his place or out to a bar, he's gone.]
228264
It's still early on in the relationship. If you don't feel it's the appropriate amount to spend, I'd talk to him and let him know how you feel.  And maybe come to terms with a spending amount for both of you. I know you may want to get it for him to make him happy, but then you may resent it and this feeling will not be good towards the start of your relationship.  You have to do it from the heart.
56070
i think you should pay for her sometimes. i mean its nice to have you boyfriend pay for you when you go out. but i dont think you need to pay for her all the time. tell her straight up that you dont have the money to pay for her all the time and that sometime she needs to pay for her own crap.
83015
You need to start dating a better class of men! Most men do not think that sex is the only important thing in the relationship. If the men you are dating expect you to have sex with them just because they paid the bill for a date, then you need to be sure you pay your own way. There is nothing wrong with the woman also paying for a date. Sex is an important part of a loving relationship to both males and females, but it shouldn't be expected as payment because a man has paid the bill for the date. Let men know up front what you want from the relationship in regards to sex. If they can't accept that and don't wish to date you, then they are jerks and only wanted one thing from you. Just be honest with them, it has always worked for me. =-)
256775
You obviously seem to thing that it is a "form of bribery" or you wouldn't be asking this question.\n\nI wonder about his self-esteem, and I wonder if he will become very controling and jealous. \n\nI wonder if he plans to own you.\n\nIf you are curious about it ASK HIM.\n\n"I'm not sure that I've ever dated anyone as generous as you and I really appreciate it, and I also wonder if maybe you feel like you have to buy me things to keep me intereted? To be honest, all the gifts and money you've spent on me has actually sort of turned me off a little. Its too much too soon."