Hi,\nWe have been together for almost 2 years. I was really in love with her and was gonna marry her. But she broke up with me 4 month ago saying that she don't think she loves me as much as I love her and I need to find someone else. I have tried to get her back for almost all those 4 month but 2 weeks ago she finally said she still loves me but like a friend and she cares for me and she would really like to stay close friends but there is no chance of us being together again. I told her that I need some time away from her and asked her not to call me or contact me in anyway for a month or so while I try and get over her. It made me feel better knowing that I don't have any chances with her and since I don't talk to her I feel better and feel like am finally getting over her. She is really dear to me and I would like to stay in touch with her but I am affraid that if I start talking to her again, my feelings will return and I ll be suffering again.
119205
Um, you can keep in touch with her like a friend, think of any of your friends , how do you keep in contact with them? Do the same thing.\n\nBut if yor feelings are still fresh and strong, try not to talk to her in a long time, keep busy, after a few months, you will begin to cool down. Everytime you want to talk to her, think of how she feels and remind yourself that she does not want to come back to you.\n\nHave you imagined how it would be like if she came back? Trust me it will be never be the same  knowing that she once wanted to leave you. You will never be sure about her or her feelings again.\n\nSo let the healing begin. I have been there , so I know what am talking about. And what helps is that you two can still talk.\n\nSo do not speak to her like for a month, then may be call her after and then do the same after a month. But keep busy during this time, do the things you love the most. Hang out with your friends more.\n\nBut if you keep talking to her, your healing will be delayed.\n\nHope that helps. I know what you are going through but you will come through. Good luck.
150636
I would say the best thing to do is to be straight forward and honest, though that's the harder choice. I would contact them or even wait till they come around wanting something and tell them how you feel. " Hey I thought we were pretty close but over time it seems like you come around only when you need something. I don't mind helping you to some extent but when we get together lets do things we can enjoy and is fun." Their response will tell you what kind of friends they are..... Do to them what they are doing to you and see how long they stick around or if they have this talk with you. A friend who wants a relationship with you will work to keep it together and healthy.
604858
sounds like she doesn't care about you as much as you care about her. she's completely detached. you've been living miles apart, if she loves you she should be missing you right now and only wants to spend time only with you and nobody else.\n\nwhat kind of arrangement did you have anyway? how did you meet? how did you get married? was it for the right reasons? love is all about giving -- if she loves you back, and senses that you don't want to spend time with other people but her, then she sould give in to that.
466629
I think you need to sit down with her and have a heart to heart conversation and be honest with each other.  She must have done something that made you think she was going to break up with you so you need to tell her that and talk about why it happened.  Also, I'm not too sure I like your reasoning for breaking up with her...that sounds kind of like child's games.  If you liked/loved her you wouldn't have "broke up with her first" just so she couldn't break up with you.  And look where it got you?  She wasn't even going to break up with you!  I think you need to take the time to find out exactly what you want and what will make you happy before you rush back into it.
128998
First, you need to make sure that she is not under the impression that there is any chance you guys could get back together. Remember you broke up for a reason and if it was a stupid one than maybe you should reconsider the relationship. Another thing you need to be careful of is that fact that she may be very unstable if after 2 yrs she is still crying over your separation. By now she should of moved on at least a little bit. I'm not saying that she should be with someone and madly in love. I am saying that she should of by now, come to the realization that there is nothing more there. Another problem may be if she hasn't seen you move on, this may fuel the flame sort of speak. If she sees the fact that you are single and not looking she may think that you are just waiting for the right time to get back together with her. Hopefully this helps......
400414
I'd say she's feeling lonely and want you back. If you still love her, move your butt out of that computer chair and ask her to have lunch or dinner with you. I wish you two best of luck. Remember, there may not be any 2nd chances like this.
101920
Sometimes people just grow apart for no apparent reason.  Distance is hard on any kind of relationship.  Now that you've moved back and you found out that she has broken up with her boyfriend, you two might be able to have that same closeness again.  Just call, email or message her and let her know that you are there for her any time she needs to talk or have a shoulder to cry on.  If she doesn't respond then it's time for you to move on.  There's no sense in wasting your time on someone how doesn't have time for you.
343796
i think you should stop calling her. I realize it will be difficult as sounds as though you really care for her but she is playing with your feelings. Sounds like she is out for her and not ready to be in a relationship. A friend of mine just went through something similar. Each time he got hurt more and more.  Guess I would tell her how you feel about what she is doing then if it continues its time to find someone new or accept the fact that is how she is.
560235
Hey, hun. I went through that. It was like we never broke up.  After talking we decided to pretend it never happened. Now she and I regret it. But talk to her. You both probably want to get back, a fight shouldn't be the reason you break up.
355696
Go on and propose... Things should be fine. It just sounds like she needed some time apart to see if she really wanted to be with you. Lots of people go through this and may be with other people in the mean time. She found her way back to you and that's what matters.
498132
I think she is still upset about the breakup so she needs time to think about everything that has happened. Deep down even though she is being distant with you she really wants to open up to you but she is so hurt, but dont give up on her give her the time she needs even though it may be a little tough. When she is ready to talk she will trust me!
625937
Four year relationships don't just end over something stupid. Whatever you did that she will not forgive you for, and that has caused the breaking up of you two must be very serious.\n\nPerhaps you need to put yourself in her shoes and understand that maybe what you did had it been done to you would cause you to do as she did.\n\nGive her the space she has asked for, but in time try to contact her and ask for a time in which you two can talk things through. It may not end up successful for you, but at least maybe you two can have a friendship if nothing more.\n\nIt's really upsetting in situations like this, I know the feeling for sure, but you really can't do much but let time take its course. If she really cares deeply for you then she will find it in her heart to forgive you for whatever it is that you have done and return to you.\n\nHowever, if you have done something terrible then maybe you need to think about whether or not your love for her was even genuine at all. Why does one hurt the one they love?
152980
Let it go.  Let him go.  Your setting yourself up to be hurt.  Don't get in the middle of that situation because it sounds like it's far from over.  He sounds like he has to deal with his issues with her.  He may get back with her or he may not but it doesn't matter he can't give you what you want from him right now.  It's better to continue being friends if you can.\n\nHopefully you can because friendship is so important.
61823
I dont think she is playing a game. You two broke up and i think your prolonged contact with her is making it hard for her to let go. She might well have feelings for you still but having feelings for someone doesn't mean she wants to be with you. You giving her things keeps her feeling obligated to talk to you. I would wish her a happy valentines day and tell her happy birthday when it rolls around but back off to some degree. The only real way to know if she wants to get back together with you is to be straight up and ask or back off and see if she comes looking for you.
34945
You don't.  She has made a choice that you need to respect.  The best thing you can do is move on and concentrate on you.  By making your life the best it can possibly be without her there is a slim chance she might realize what she lost.  The key is that you deserve to be happy and you can't be if all you do is focus on getting her back.  She doesn't want some guy who begs to get her back, she wants a guy who has his act together.
630309
Your poor dear. At this point, I think it is best to let go and see what happens. If it is meant to be, she will realize how much you love her. If she doesn't come back, realize that you WILL meet someone that will appreciate your love and love you back. Sometimes the best, and hardest, thing to do is let someone go. I don't think you need to move away though! Give her some space and see what happens, but keep yourself open to meeting new people too. You never know who may be around the corner waiting to meet you!
262046
Keep doing what you are doing. (I have been there too)\nThe truth is, time heals all wounds. It takes a long time to heal from loving someone. You may never truly forget her. You will love again. It wont be the same, BUT IT WONT BE ANY LESS.\nIt will keep hirting you if you keep taling to her, seeing her. You need to give youreslf time and space, away from her. \nIf she calls you again, tell her that. She should be willing to respect that.\nI'm sorry. I know you are hurting. Good luck.