This guy says he doesn't want a serious relationship but we've been seeing eachother for almost 10 months now. And although this affair is supposed to be secret, both our closest friends know about it. Though, to what extend he talks about it with his friends, i don't know. When i don't contact him for a long while, he claims that i'm scarce. But when we're in close contact, he always remarks that i only think about sex and things like that. Do you think this guy has feelings for me? Or is it trully only for the sex?
131442
Sounds like double standards to me. That means you really need to talk. if after that, and he is still giving you mixed messages like that, I'd say take a break. But im leaning more towards the break. Doesn't seem that promising.
607587
i would think that if you have known each other for that long and you have had a platonic relationahip he may not show anything at all to indicate to you how he felt. he may just hide it for fear of ruining the friendship. sometimes guys are really passive
7644
If he's not doing the dating stuff with you, he does not consider you dating material, you are a booty call at best. I have a friend like that, she is convinced that I feel more but I htink she is just trying to make herself feel better about it even though I am honest with her. He's not being honest with you, watch your back.
231133
Well if he wants to have sex with you, he might get kinda fed up eventually, dont you think? Why do you want to keep him but not have sex with him. Sex is part of love. Is he a potential lover or just your sugar daddy or something?
23833
Since i've never been unfaithful, i can't speak from experience. But, saying that, my ex-wife was unfaithful to me, alot. I big give away is lack of intimacy. If he doesn't want to touch you, there's something wrong. Strange phone calls that are secretive and at odd times. Does he have a good female "friend" or "mates" he often hangs out with, without you? Can you contact him at ALL times while he's away? Alot of mistrusting females i know check their man's mobile phone for odd calls and texts. Credit card statements for purchases is also a common one. I'm assuming you've talked to him about your concerns and he's denied all. You're still suspicious and don't quite trust him. A private detective could help if you're that concerned. I hope i've helped a little. :)
77551
I think that might be his way of testing the waters with you, I had a guy friend do the same thing with me "I want to meet someone like you" You have to ask yourself if you would want to persue something with him or not, from the way it sounds not. \n\nThis is one of those time when subtle wont work I think you just need to come out and ask him if he is hinting that he wants more. Just tell him you have been getting a different vibe from him lately and you want to know.
322444
You can't make a person do something if they don't want to do it.  Maybe he is ready for a casual relationship, and not something serious. The not calling thing is probably his way of saying, I want to take it slower.  I would just ease up on calling him, and just leave a casual message every now and then, and see what happens from there.  If he doesn't change in an appropriate amount of time, I would move on.
601046
oh please, this is a man talking more crap...does it mean you'll be together forever, no of course not, it doesn't mean that he doesn't have good intentions at the time he's saying it but you can't possibly be this naive?? can you? there is no way to ensure that you won't be hurt in any relationship, you just have to have confidence that you can handle it, if you don't your insecurities will definitely drive the relationship right into a deep ditch. its likely that is where you are headed if you are obsessing to this extent over something he said....what was the situation when he said it  (you weren't by any chance having sex were you?) i think you need to focus on finding some inner strength in yourself and a life of your own, a relationship should be a pleasant addition to the life you are building...not the entire thing, you will always lose if thats what you are doing. never invest more than you have to lose. if you get your life together and are able to support yourself and develop some confidence in yourself then you will know that you'll be ok whether he actually stays around or not.
113798
My boyfriend is still friends with the one long-term girlfriend he had before we got together. He still talks to the girls he had flings with throughout his early 20s. I'd be lying if I said it doesn't bother me occasionally. The important thing is that it's only occasionally. I trust him and I know he would never betray that trust.\n\nIf he still has feelings for them I'd be wary of getting too attached to this guy. He isn't bad, it just seems like he isn't sure of what he wants. Maybe those feelings will fade, maybe they won't. The important thing to remember is that he is entitled to those feelings and you can't force him to not have them.
83670
Bsically, this guy is completley abusing your feelings for him. He wants a no strings attached relationship because this means he can do whatever he wants, whenever he wants and he does not have to make any real effort with you or show you any commitment. He just wants a bit of fun. Now if you're ok with this, theres nothing worng with it but as you have taken time to come on here and ask this question, I'm guessing your feelings for this guy are pretty strong and that you wouldn't be ok with that kind of situation. If you really like him, this will end in tears. You must respect yourself and realise that you deserve much more than his.
204341
I think it could be that you have this guy in your head now because he is ignoring you.  You know the saying, you want what you can't have?  Well, when he wanted you you weren't interested...and now you "think" you may be.  \nBut...if you're really thinking about this fling guy a lot then I doubt you're truly in love with your steady.  Deep down it's probably not meant to be.  You know, real love and all that comes with it...when you're in deep, no one else can touch that.  Anyway, do the pro's and con's thing about the guy you're with and if it's more con's than pro's give him up...and talk to this younger guy if you can, about how you feel if you really think your feelings are deeper than just wanting what you can't have.  I have to say also that he sounds a tad bit immature...ignoring you after you've had a fling.  But that's just my opinion....good luck.
276671
it sounds like he just want's a "friends with benefits" relationship. Tell him that you want a real relationship, or nothing. You don't want to be held back from something new because he can't make up his mind.
281616
Former lovers can be friends, not that I've experienced exactly.  I have a couple that still count me as friend, some more that would slash my throat if they could.  First, remember YOU had an affair.  He is being generous and kind and that is worth something good.
313002
try to remember...did u both have commitments???....\nu both might not have a serious realtionship b4, coz i get an impression that he didnt care at all with ur feelings or he might not realise that u expected him to take the next step with you...\nfor me...its impossible if you have a serious relationship without having any contacts for such a long period !!! dosnt make my sense at all...im in a long distance realtionship now, and get suffer if get no contact even for hald of a day!!!! and he wont get taking any girls to get married so easy if he thought that he has you in his heart, i bet he'll feel that he would cheating on you even if he just went out with other girls for fun!!! he'll get guilty feeling..trust me! so..if he get married, i could say that he had a very serious relationship with this woman and ..sorry to say...i thought he never considered you as his serious one...\nits time for you to move on...he's not the only one...goodluck!!:)
550556
Just because he says he doesn't want to fall in love, doesn't mean it won't happen to him. If he likes hanging out with you without always getting some, then he at least wants to be friends with benefits. And if he's paying for stuff, then he wants to be more than friends. What's that saying...actions speak louder than words?
337178
well, hate to break it to you but it sounds like you are in a relationship known as "FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS"\n\n well, first of all stop having sex with a guy who doesn't want to have a commit ed relationship!!! you two should take things slow to have a sense of appreciation...\n\nhow can you appreciate something when you tend to rush over them  and not see the details..\n\ni know I'm going nowhere but I'm just exaggerating the point that in love it should be special and sincere...\n\n\nits time for the two of you to cool off a bit and see what you really mean to him...
359772
I am sorry to tell you, but i think he is simply trying to 'dump' you as unharmful as possible.  I went through this with my girlfriend, and i started spending less time with her to break the attachment.  Chances are he is changing his mind because he likes anything physical, like hugging, kissing, holding hands, ect...