weve been togeva b4 den last friday we got togeva agen and now im wonderin if he sees it as just friends wid benefits? or as were seeing each ova? how do i approach the subject?
124126
talk to the man about it
533080
Anyone who really appreciated you and was looking for a long term serious possibility with you might consider telling his friends things like: how much fun you were, where he took you to dinner and/or movie, things that made him enjoy your company more than expected etc.  If he gave his buddies details of your intimacy the first night, he will probably trade you off soon, or his buddies will think you are fair game for them also since they already know what you might do for them also...RUN RUN RUN
39899
Dear Penny,\nBefore asking any questions, or even analysing the myriad of eye movements, hand gestures and pupil dilating which probably indicate commitment, think what YOU want from this relationship. \n\nThe previous respondent talked about friends with benefits, but in this instance I have the feeling it applies to you also. \n\nSo: how do you feel about him? Honestly? Do YOU want to commit? If the answer is yes, be brave, be honest, and let him know you're ready to take this relationship to the next level.\n\nGood luck!
523523
dunno love. you obviously care a lot about him....\nleave him alone for a while, perhaps he'll decide that just being friends is good for him... there again maybe he'll decide you're a cow and he hates you. you cannot control what goes on inside his head or try to second guess/pre-empt it.\nthat's the trouble with men though aint it? they seem to think that just being friends means they've moved down in your estimations somehow, when in fact it just means you wanna know them forever, without all the messy stuff that gets in the way of that.\nmaybe he's low in confidence and looking for love.... thought he'd found it with you... perhaps if he gains some self esteem and meets someone else he'll appreciate how important and precious a good friendship can be.\nunfortunately, i don't think there's anything you can do to make him feel any better about it all though, he'll have to get there by himself.
21915
I would say when go you and see him and you spend time with him, watch him when you talk, I learned that some people tend to tilt their head slightly when they're really listening. And see when he looks at you if he looks at your face or in your eyes. I believe that this shows that they really care for you and what you have to say.\n\nAnd when you get alone with him, set guidelines about how far you want to go sexually with him. Suggest just cuddling or light kissing. If he reacts sort of angered or upset towards this, then likely he just wants you for sexual favors.\n\nAnd since you're concerned about if he just wants to get you in his country, I would say don't agree if he wants you to move in with him. Explain to him that while you do care for him, you don't feel comfortable about relocating until your relationship has progress a little more. (Might want to mention that all your family is where you are at now and your friends and your job and all your memories.)\n\nI hope this helps!
342854
Extremely weird, she wants to look into a relationship, but all the goodies go to your friend.  Sorry, need to next her.  You're friend can have her, no wait he has....
114794
I would tell him how you feel.  The only thing that could happen is that he could tell you that he just thinks of you as a friend but if you don't tell him and he ends up with someone else you might regret it in the long run and it will definetly hurt you to see him with someone else.  But if your friendship is that strong don't be worried about him not wanting to be friends with after words maybe he thinks you think the same way and maybe he's telling you this to see if you will get jealous.  Give it a try.  Good luck!!!!!
662331
NO, don't do it! it seems you may have honest feelings for him, so do not do the friends w/ benefits. you will just get more deeply involved. what if he starts seeing another girl? honey  he's not the only man in the world, there's thousands outthere. all you need to do is keep your mind occupied and give yourself, your body value, love and respect. you know you deserve so much better than just being someone's sex object.
544871
It's the nice comfy sweatshirt thing.  You see, in moving 1/2 way across the country, he had to give up his home, the folks he casually said Hi to everyday, his favorite pizza joint, etc.  He's lonely at his new place and has decided he wants friends.  Instead of letting them develop, he wanted some already instant made.  Well, there you are.  He already knew you, etc.  \n\nI had this happen to me.  Yes, he's interested.  Yes, you can have a relationship.  However, with everything being new to him now (but him learning it later on) that there will come a time when he doesn't need so much attention ... and he may develop into the guy you knew when he was in town.\n\nI wish I could say "Go for it."  My problem with trying it out is that he really does need to stand alone for a little bit, so you aren't the sudden substitute for his lack of companionship.  It gets pretty draining and depressing being both a person's newfound companion but also his blame when he feels he needs other friends.  You don't need that.\n\nGood luck!
301685
take a look at your relationship: how long have you been friends, how has you understanding of eachother expanded, how is both of our love lives going, etc. you may want to start out with, "_____, how long have we been friends?" its a casual question, but then go deeper "do you ever wonder if this friendship will ever go anywhere than 'just friends'?" and you'll get a feel of how he reacts, and even though you may rehearse what you are going to say infront of the mirror, when you look at him , you'll know exactly the words to say...hopefully i've helped
346760
I have reservations when you say you have "feelings" for this lady? I wonder are these feeling recipricated? Are you getting clear signs that she has feelings for you or are these feelings of yours entirely related to unmet needs of your own? This situation can go one of three ways.....\n(a) If she has feeling for you and is consciously sending out these signals then the relationship may develop into something more.\n(b) If these feeling you have are a result of unmet needs of your own then it is a very dangerous situation and your friendship may be doomed (should you try to take things further).\n(c) If (a) is the case then the relationship may develop but I doubt it will be a sincere and lasting parnership. Why? Because she has only recently committed to a life with someone else. If she is willing to sacrifice that relationship already then she is either selfish or very immature (probably both).\nSorry, just my thoughts.\nMichael
472200
hey mama I am in the exact same position and my guy friend has mentioned he hates when girls make the first move so I am petrified to tell him, I feel like I have to wait for him to come to me. But he is probably thinking the same as you. Whenever drink, stuff happens and I usually spend every day with him and we do everything together. Work out together, party together, occasionally sleep together the whole 9. Whenever we need anything, we're the first ones each other calls. If you figure this out- lemme know!\nLauramr015@yahoo.com
162101
Aww that's terrible, to me it sounds like he's the one with all the problems and you're going out of your way to be friends with him.  He's being abit patronising and maybe it means he needs to grow up abit, so maybe there isn't anything you can do at the moment except explain to him again all this from your perspective.  When he does degrade make sure you defend yourself, and even if you're not right maybe you can give the thoughts you had that made you think that way.  But it's not an exam, and please don't let him make you feel bad and I really hope it works out!
319759
Welcome to the world of being a friend with benefits.\n\nThere's an old saying.. something along the lines of "why buy the cow if you can get the milk for free?"\n\n.. and you're giving him the milk.\n\nIf a serious relationship is something you want with him, you almost have to cut off the "extra" activities and talk to him about where you want things to go. See if his head and heart are in the same place that your's is and go from there. If he doesn't want a serious relationship and just wants to mess around with you, then how good of a friend is he really??\n\nEither way, you have nothing to lose.
282854
First off, after four days you don't *really* love each other (not mature, real love, anyway) but whatever.\n\nAre the rumors true?  It's easy to dismiss rumors if there isn't a grain of truth to them.  His friends are probably resentful of the fact that he's spending time with you and not them.  They will get over it.\n\nTry to rise above it.
29142
Even though that answer by Jason was funny as hell, I don't agree with it.\n\nI think it's best that you come clean and tell your long-time friend how you feel about him.  If he ever ends up with someone else and makes a great husband or whatever, you will always punish yourself for him being the one who got away because you were too chicken to tell him how you felt about him.  You can mention to him how you don't want to ruin the friendship, but feel the need to let him know how you feel, and even if he doesn't feel the same way, you can maintain the friendship.  Look at it like the lottery slogan; "You can't win if you don't play!"  Also, it can go one of two ways, it can be the best relationship you ever had, or it can end, and you can remain friends, or it can end and lose the friendship, possibly.  I think you should go with you gut instinct and your heart.  Your friendship most likely won't end since you guys go back to the diaper years.  I really think you should take the chance.  Keep me posted, or if you have any more thoughts....gemfow@yahoo.com
635588
he's being straightforward to you and has been respectful to you. I think you should do the same, if he just wanted to be your friend, you should let it be.