Things were fine between us at the begining but later on, he started to doubt me and halted me from having any communication with my college "guy" friends. I mean they are just normal friends like how you or anyone out there would love to have friends from the opposite gender, but he told me tht he doesnt like all this and i should only talk to him. I dont understand the fact tht if he trusts me, why then is he full of doubts and suspicion? I am a quiet, lonely girl and i dont mix much wth anyone except for sum group of frens. He only wants me to have female frens and disregard others. At times he finishes work after 12am, and he expects me to answer his calls, though i'm sleeping. Once i was so tired and slept, he messaged me to my phone and told me tht i'm sleeping around with other men! this was a shocking thing to read. Though i explain myself, he would never believe till i cry and justify myself. My humble question is:Y'S THS MEN TREATING ME LIKE THIS AND WHAT 2 DO ABT THIS R.SHIP
121038
He is treating you this way because he is an ASS and because you are allowing him to.  Honey, drop this so called man faster than you would a rattle snake. He is feeding you a line of BS bigger than the Pacific ocean.  He is manipulative, uncaring, a liar, and a cheat.  One he is not divorced AND a married man. He is a married man. Two he has absolutely no real feelings for you to treat you the way he is treating you.  I do not mean to offend you but he is using you and your insecurities and the fact that you are a lonely person and he is demanding that you stay lonely by not wanting you to have other friends.  He can control you easier if he keeps you to himself exclusively. And mean, selfish, uncaring men in mid-life male menopause feel better about THEMSELVES if they can get a young girl to look up to them, fall in love with them, sleep with them, follow their every command.  This is a free world and as such you have the right, privilege and necessity to exercise your right to chose, say no, talk to whoever you chose and to fall in love with a nice man that will truly love you in return.
639424
his actions are not those of a friend. Friends don't lead each other on or use each other. They don't kiss or any more so let him go before he puts you down even more. You've learnt and now you're free again to meet the real guy that's out there for you. You don't need friends that lie. What a pig!
162101
Aww that's terrible, to me it sounds like he's the one with all the problems and you're going out of your way to be friends with him.  He's being abit patronising and maybe it means he needs to grow up abit, so maybe there isn't anything you can do at the moment except explain to him again all this from your perspective.  When he does degrade make sure you defend yourself, and even if you're not right maybe you can give the thoughts you had that made you think that way.  But it's not an exam, and please don't let him make you feel bad and I really hope it works out!
281726
First off, this is not just a guy thing.  Both sexes can be insecure.  As for your situation, this is his problem and not yours.  I would sit down with him, and let him ask his questions.  Yet, explain this is a one time only deal.  Once this is done, tell him you will not be harassed any longer, and he needs to get over it, or get on.
576609
It sounds to me like he's confused.  Worst case, he's lying to you or at least not giving you the whole truth.  Speak candidly with him, find out the entire story and make a connection with him!  How does he really feel about you?  When he answers, do you believe him?  Listen to your instincts!
176960
Been there! Finish with him, may sound harsh but you will feel so much better! Not all men are like it. I now have the perfect bloke who I can trust and he trusts me. It is so nice to go out with him and not worry about who I may be talking to or looking at! \nAlso ask your friends opinion, they will tell you the truth about him and you should trust their opinion they only have your happiness in mind!
59163
For goodness sakes! Is he ashamed of being with you or does he not want people to think you are an item? He sounds like a guy I used to like in high school and in the first year of college. We only went to church together. And when we went out, it was after dark. He didn't want it to get back to his dad that we were seen together. \nYou might want to ask him why. But if his behavior does not improve, just leave him and his issues alone.
418898
I can understand both your sides. If you can't trust him, you need to figure out why - is it him, or is it you? To me, it sounds like it's you. STOP trying to make him justify himself to you. He is not your son - he is your boyfriend. If it's him, and you know FOR A FACT you can't trust him, then leave him!!!! Either way, stop making him account for his time - he is his own person. \nCould he have called you and told you he was going to be late? He probably should have apologized, and perhaps didn't if you jumped his sh** right then and there. \nRemember, men and women react differently - likely, he is not trying to hide something, he just doesnt appreciate being treated like a child and is trying to reclaim some autonomy.
407308
He sounds really conflicted. I don't think it's you at all but his own undealt-with problems. Don't be frustrated with the other women he is pursuing because the ultimate problem isn't anything having to do with you, but the inhibitions he has. He's acting out some sort of situation and you're a pawn in that game. As difficult as it may be, I seriously suggest you do what you can to likewise see him as just a friend. He may come around then and start treating you as an emotional equal, but if not don't consider it any loss. He sounds like he has issues. That's what it sounds like to me, anyway; obviously you know more than any one of us.
399742
He told you how he felt. You cant change or control him and thats what your trying to do. He was honest with you cuz you asked him to be. Theres nothing more to it, you are now broken up and have been so theres no more relationship. He doesnt have to answer to you for anything. He has every right to have a date if he wants just as you do. You are trying to control something beyond the break up and all that will do is prolong any hurt for YOU, not him. Move on and forget the friends thing for now. Maybe down the road but now you need to let go of it all.
48326
Hmm.  Maybe he had one of them other girls waiting in the shadows in case this didn't work out...  Although. to me,  it doesn't seem right to not give this dude the benefit of the doubt, he 'does' sort of owe you some kind of explanation, even if it is something as simple as being afraid to leave his current place, having a wife already, being gay, or not liking your choice of kitchen tiles.  \n\nIf he is still making attempts to communicate with you, I'd advise you to at least listen to whatever it is that he has to say, and just take it with a grain of salt.  You don't have to get mad, and you don't have to cry - but you DO deserve to know why he's jerking you around.  Maybe he was selling you a dream, and maybe he was serious about spending forever with you.  You'll never know, if you don't give him a chance to explain himself - even if what he has to say isn't what you'd like to hear right now.  \n\nOnce you know why he acted so rashly, you can form your own opinions and know for yourself who is at fault and who isn't, although in matters of love, is it really necessary to play "The Blame Game?"  I think I would just work through the hurt of this painful lesson and use this experience as a learning tool for the next time you get into a serious relationship with someone.  \n\nI hope everything works out for you.
487258
This is a sticky one. \n\nFirst, let's look at him. The fact that he lied is very troubling, but I can see why he thought it was a good idea. While he was disrespecting your wishes, he was also trying to stick with his friend while sticking with you. No, it's not a smart move, and his point about your insecurity is invalid (lying is just not ok because relationships are about trust), but it sucks for a person to have to choose between a significant other and a friend. I think you guys can work through this however. \n\nWhy do you dislike this female friend of his? Do you suspect that he's cheating on you? Is she flirtatious or touchy-feely with him? Is she just an unlikeable person to you? Or are you merely jealous and insecure? \n\nLet's go with the last question for a bit. You've admitted that you are insecure. Plenty of girls are like that, sadly; I think it's mostly from social conditioning (but that's a whole other Answer!). You said that every time he talks to another girl, you ask him if he wants to be with them. It's exasperating for a guy to hear that. He's going to start feeling as if there's nothing he can do to convince you that he wants only you. It's also exhausting for you because you will needlessly worry about losing him. This will put a strain on the relationship, maybe even cause it to break. \n\nTo me, this is the more troubling problem. It's difficult, even impossible, to change others, so we have to change ourselves. Look into getting help for your insecurity; this will make you an overall healthier person, and spread into your relationship with this guy. A quick Google search for "overcoming insecurity" yields some nice articles: \n\nhttp://www.coping.org/growth/security.htm\nhttp://www.pathwaytohappiness.com/writings-insecurity.htm\n\nYou may want to seek professional counseling as well. You'll feel a lot better overall if you can let go of the worrying over losing people, and start placing some trust in others. It will be a great relief (trust me on that). \n\nNow, let's go back to the female friend. They're probably "just friends," but if they way they interact suggests more, then you have a right to be a bit suspicious. Example: if they are too familiar and flirty with each other. \n\nThis is getting a bit long, so I'll just sum it up. You both need to work on yourselves and with each other to make this work. You should focus on overcoming your insecurity and learning to trust others. You should also respect his friendships, even if he's friends with someone you cannot tolerate. Likewise, he should be supportive of your self-improvement efforts, and stop lying to you so you *can* learn to trust him! It's very hard to trust someone when you catch them in a lie. He should also respect that you dislike his friend, and do things like not forcing you to be around her, not talking about something funny that she said or did, etc. If he won't work with you, then I doubt the relationship is worthwhile. \n\nLast of all, it's very important to remain calm and even-tempered. If you start crying or becoming too angry, he may reach for anything -- even a lie -- to make you stop and calm down.
20957
Why can't you allow your boyfriend to have female friends?  Why are you so insecure?  I have female friends and I have been happily married for several years.  I wouldn't want to be in a relationship with someone so insecure that they would force me to choose my friends based solely on if they have a penis or not.  What's up with you?  Do you sleep with every guy you know?  If not, cut some slack.  On the other hand if you can't trust your boyfriend based on his behavior that is a different story.  Remember you don't have to trust everyone who enters his life, you just have to trust him.  Now here is a heads up for how guys think.  If my wife is even slightly jealous of a female, I love it.  It's just another way for her to say "I love you".  Of course she trusts me and I have never given her reason not to.  Stop nagging and start bragging.  Tell me I'm a saint and a king and I might believe you and act like one.  Tell me I'm a dog and a snake, and who knows?
378523
your confused b/c he's making you confused, i don't believe he's confused one bit he's just stringing you along, and you are right he is too scared, too scared to completely let go of you all he's doing is talking nonsence to you....what i think is happening here is he wants to keep you waiting for him while he 's out exploring his options, he's afraid you might find you someone else...and he won't have anybody, he doesnt want to get back with you or else he would have, i mean whats stopping him?? all he's saying is i'll just keep playing mind games with her until i find me somebody i really like....don't fall victim, i would surprise him and would tell him to just go on with his life....that you are not meant for each other...get rid of the stress and you will feel so much better.
499634
communication is the key. maybe you should invite him ot your place and let him know how u feel.  if he loves you and if avoiding you is not his intention, he will comfort you and reassure you that that is not the case.  if your feelings of doubt persist after talking to him, listen! it's your female intuition. good luck....
526369
duhhhhh he's keepin you around just in case. things might not be going as well as he wished with shit new girl. so he's gettin back with you as "friends".\n\non the other hand, he might be genuinely interested in a friendship.\n\npersonally, i think he's just tryin to keep those lines of communication open. maybe its time for you to move on and find a boyfriend so it doesn't matter what he wants.
538940
Appreciate that he is returning your calls and has let you know that they're HIS issues, not yours.\n\nYou've only been hanging out a month.  Depending on what he has going on, that's really not enough time to develop trust.  It happens over time, and this relationship is in it's beginning stages.  It may not be an exclusive relationship, though it sounds like it's heading that way.\n\nDon't put any more pressure on him.  He knows you're there, he knows you're concerned.  That's enough.  If you continue to call him, then you need to ask yourself "Am I really concerned about him, or am I feeling insecure because I'm not part of what's going on?"  He's having some challenges right now, and I think he's handling this appropriately.  If you're really concerned about him, then keep it about him.  Be available to him if / when he needs you.  \n\nWhat's going on with him has nothing to do with you.  Keep this situation in its proper perspective; otherwise, you will lose him before you've gotten things off the ground.