I met a girl and went out on a few dates. But there were some issues, not with her as much as with me. First off I am foreign and she is American;.... Shouldn’t be a problem. Well the problem is, that after being in America for a while and learning how quickly relationships fall apart I have gotten tired and afraid of jumping into anything too quickly, and so I told her that I was too busy for a relationship and did not want to waste her time(obvious escapism). \nNow she is quite silent; and whenever I ask if she wants to meet she has some excuse (but she tells me in a nice way) and says things like 'maybe some other time when I'm not doing such and such'\nMy intention was really to go the 'friends first' route.\nSo what should I do to get her to understand where I am coming from and rectify the situation?\nand whatever happened to friends first?
135133
You told her that you were too busy and didnt want to waste her time. And now you are wondering what is up with her. If I were her, I wouldnt take to you either.
59748
maybe you should ask her out on a date, but only as friends. go somewhere she would like to go. maybe the mall or a roller skating place, something like that. if she says "no, i don't want to go out with you, sorry", that's okay, just act cool and try to get over it. if she says yes, just keep being friends unless she makes the first move or she talks to you about being boyfriend/girlfriend.
86068
Give up on the girl who doesn't notice you.  If she hasn't noticed how cool you are by now, then she is not worthy.  There are lots, and I mean LOTS of women around that are hot, down to earth, smart and funny (like me!).  Besides, it sounds like you don't really know her, so what if she is a totat brat or really prude or has no sense of humor or is stuck up or whatever.  You may have seen her from afar, but do you REALLY know who this girl is?  Do you really want to take a GIANT leap and give up what you have for something that may not be as good as what you have now?  The grass isn't always greener on the other side, pal.\n\nAs far as the long distance thing goes, I would give a try for a while and if something does not happen soon with getting closer together, then ditch the situation.  Like I said, there are lots of women out there.
379317
I think that your unexplained absence at the event likely made her very upset and angry and turned her off for good.  You made her wait, you made her very anxious, and you made her lose face--essentially, you ruined the entire event for her.  That kind of behavior reflects very poorly upon you and is a good indicator of the type of man you are.  You have a right to change your mind, but out of respect for her, you should have called her beforehand to let her know.  Sorry, but I think you lost her for good.
666783
Well, she did give you a heads up that she would be busy this weekend. I'm sure this is question requiring a sensible answer from a female. But what i would think is wait till after the weekend and maybe just one more day. If no reply, two possibilities, a)She's REALLY busy b)Something's wrong between you two. Face things as they come and dont get paranoid. And ease up on the emails and texts.
326594
I've had a bad experience with dating a girl that I'd been friends with. It was pretty awkward, both of us knew eachother and what we like with the exception of relationship needs. I was so used to us just being friends that I made minimal moves. Unfortunately, she believed in the man making all the moves. She eventually got bored and went after someonme else.
434972
AK,\n  This is ALOT like the situation I was in before, ONLY reversed------------------- I can't speak for "your girl", but from a gal's point of view, I'm seeing from all you described, SHE is confused and she got caught up in you, probably feels guilty, and is in a tough spot about what to do with her marriage..............................\n  She is going through alot emotionally and I'm sure she does love you.  It's a confusing time for her with alot of emotions going on.\n  Don't drop her, 'cause we all need someone in our lives who care and if you disappear, she would be lost, I can tell you that!\n  I'd say it would be good to get out there and date, but stay in touch with this girl too.\n\nWhat you "should do" is all up to you.  You said she is the girl of your dreams, THEN, stand by her--------------LOVE is PATIENT.\n  That;s it right there, how much she means to you!\n\nNext, I'm wondering maybe "your girl" doesn't exactly know where she stands with you.  Does she know you love her?  Have you offered her a future with you?  Maybe she needs some reassurance so that maybe she can have that strength to leave her husband, if she knows she "fits in" your life!\n\nDivorce isn't easy as you already know, and maybe for "your girl" she is having a hard time with the idea of fully "letting go" of her marriage for whatever reasons, SO I wouldn't take her hesitation personal cuz she is dealing and going through alot all at once!\n\nTalk to her, be there for her, just be her friend right now, and you might be ok with that if the both of you are secure in your love for each other, see?   Please don't turn your back on her.  That's all I wanted to say.\n\nGood luck to you both and with your support she will get through her problems, you will see!
236736
yeah asking her to do something is a good idea. if she hesitates, back off, but if not then maybe you'll have the chance to discuss if she is staying with her man or what. beaware, though. would you really want to date someone who will stay with a man if they are currently looking for a new fish? sounds like a bad idea to me, she also may be one of those needy ppl that can't be alone and will have whoever they can have, as long as they have someone. \n\ngood luck.
242288
Are you more concerned that SHE will think it's too fast and get scared or is it YOU that doesn't want her to think you're that into her just yet? If YOU are the one not ready to give her that impression, I wouldn't invite her to the concert. But, if you don't care then I don't think that a 3rd date is too soon to meet your friends. Besides, it's a concert with thousands of other people around, not a small dinner party where she might feel uncomfortable being the "new girl".
322148
i dont think she is ready to make a committment to you right now. unless you just want to be friends,you need to move on and meet someone else who you can have a deeper relationship with.
316216
How many is a couple?  Like two or three?  This isn't enough for her to put her whole social life on hold just yet.  It's possible that she's just not that into you, but it may be that she's just busy.  Lots of us have a lot going on.  If she's calling you withint a couple of days then I wouldn't worry about it.
347566
It's a difficult situation since you don't live in the same city. Your girlfriend is used to spending time with her friends because you are only there every other weekend. Since your girlfriend is used to her friends all the time that you are not around, I do not think it is too much to ask for her to spend some quality time with you when you are in town. She can balance her time on the opposing weekends between you and her friends, but she picks her friends when you are not in town and then picks her friends when you are in town. Since you say that her friends are your friends too, I think a reasonable compromise would be for your 1st weekend in town to hang around the friends and have a good time (but with some alone time), and the 2nd weekend of the month to be your time with each other and no interruption. If she can't agree to that and insists on calling up a friend to join you, I would question if she wants to be with you and, based on that, if you want to remain with her.
51074
If she is giving you excuses not to go on a date . . . three strikes she is out.\n\nIn most cases she is not interested . . . in you . . . so move on.\n\nIf she tries to become chummy . . . ignore her . . . don't be a wimp . . . be a man and move on.
188890
she's f*cked up! why would she do that that is stupid.......i hope eveything turns out ok but that's really if YOU want to take it that slow, it's really your decision i'm just here to help you decide....e-mial me and i see if i can give you anymore tips if you guys get back together\nby the way i think you should get back together but on that certain day she has you guys talk or what ever say your busy that night or just don't pick up foor her and then call her another night and see if she gets mad. or if she sets a certain night to go out then say your busy that night and try to reschedule. if she gets mad i suggest dumping her cuz that really is f*cked up.\ni'll try to help you in the long run\n\n~matcher and love expert
376976
Well first like you said to she wants to start out slowly. You should first become like friends. When you think you got to know her very well then talk to her into taking the next step of dating. If she doesn't then still be friends. I have heard of this saying "be patient and the fruit will fall into your hand" Well if you're really patient and kind to her then maybe she'll want to take the next step. hope my advice worked bye.
108806
stop talking about love, and relationship, it sounds like she likes you, but she has been hurt, and does not wanna get hurt again, she asked for time, give her the time that she needs, and besides that just ask her out on a date, dont push her to something she is not ready to do.
93019
Mine doesn't!  But I'm not arguing with you.  I had to have 8 serious relationships to meet this girl.  Going on 2.5 years.\n\nThere's lots of reasons, but it's still not okay.  Trust issues suck.  You're absolutely right that you're investing time, energy and love into her and you should deserve some trust.\n\nAnyone you date should be someone you respect and someone who respects you.  You should not make each other feel worse about yourselves.\n\nSit down, have a talk.  Make some decisions if you need to.\n\ngood luck!