i just broke up with the guy i dated for 3 years and we are trying to work it out but he does something sweet and then he messes it up with something he does or says im sick of all of this please any advice is welcome thanks!
122893
All guys are jerks occasionally because we simply don't see or understand things the way girls do.  However, when you are trying to work things out and a guy constantly screws things up by being a jerk it means that he isn't really committed to fixing things.  Your relationship is probably never going to be fixed or be what you need and deserve.  It is probably best to move on and find a guy who will love you and really work at having a relationship with you.
560197
Forget him. Move on with your life. Often times it may be that when he sees you again and sees how well your doing he'll feel like an idiot for having let you go
634516
time to move on.... change your life... tell him NO... make the rules and stick to them..... the more you give in to him the more he will stick to you .... STOP giving him mixed signals and move on ............ God bless
26414
Heh.\n\nHe prolly doesn't know how to act. Maybe he does want to be with you but feels uncomfortable. Sounds like there's prolly still some bad blood that has to do with the breakup from before.
219275
It depends on the reason for breaking up...if it was because he was a jerk to you then no.  Otherwise, definitely try again.  A lot of couples become stronger after they've broken up and gotten back together.
598979
How about "I'm breaking up with you because _______. Bye.". Then click the ignore button to prevent any further annoyances. You don't want him trying to convince you he's what's best for you, do you?
47399
I cannot stress to you enough...GET OUT OF THIS RELATIONSHIP!!  I also, am a single mother of 2 beautiful girls.  I dated a guy for three years, on and off.  He was great with the girls, but very controlling with me.  At first it was little things, saying hurtful remarks, then it escalated and got worse and worse.  Finally, it developed to physical abuse along with the emotional and verbal.  Please get out of this relationship.  It may seem impossible right now, but trust me, you can do it.  He knows you are intimidated by him, this is what drives him to control.
604621
My lords!!! reviewing those other answers you wonder how love still exists in this world! ignore him...poison him..kick em to the curb... Listen sweety non of us really know why he is doing that...maybe it is like some of the answers..he wants his cake and he wants to eat it as well, he wants to get involved with you, he may be having probs..it may be his conscience...you'll honestly never know until you talk to him...he broke your heart by leaving you for another and i went through that exact same thing a couple of years ago...only that it was a she on my part... only you know where you stand with him... if it's over, it's over...you are the one in control here not him... some of them answered and assumed that you are weak.. that if you ever were to talk to him ...automatically everything that happens is out the door and you're in bed with him again....the only person that can allow that to happen is you...use the opportunity to talk to him FOR YOU let him answer some of your questions... and after it all...let him know where the relationship between you and him really stands...whether that stand will be 'it's over!' or 'we're okay... the bottom line is that its important for closure and moving on..trust me... i know.
387238
Give him some time you have hurt him and his pride right now won't let him talk to you. He's hurt and mad and needs a little time to deal with it. That's what goes on sometimes in break ups so give him some space. You're both better off if things weren't right in the relationship and you weren't happy just takes some time to heal before you might be able to be friends. Best of luck.
36127
hey if worst comes to worst just break up before he does something that really hurts but dont always think things in a bad way cause i flirted w. girls and so did my ex's with guys but it didnt change it cause i knew that at teh moment me n that girl were together, but hey no relationship is ever going to be perfect, Just do yo thang!!!
493336
You broke up with him because you wanted him to change.  Now, you want suggestions on how to change him back.  I think you should stop focussing on how he should act, and focus on your own behavior because you can only control your actions, not his.  Obviously, it seems like you should have thought through breaking up more before you actually did it.  You hurt him.  You have to show him that you can be trusted.  Apologize, be honest with him about your feelings and let him be.  If he comes back to you, he is in your future.  If he doesn't, then learn from the experience and the next time you're with someone you're totally crazy about, don't get caught up in fixing his flaws.
128897
What you have to do is remember that you're x's for a reason, don't dwell on all the happy, romantic stuff that went on with you and him, think of why you broke up and how you felt and what the problems were.  There's always a good reason why we break up with someone.
625327
I think it depends on how long he was your boyfriend. A long term relationship breakup takes longer because usually the other person has strong feelings for you and needs more time to get their head around it.\n\nIf you didn't date for long then it shouldn't take as much time, since you'll just get it over with and move on.\n\nIf he is really someone you care about but not in that way anymore, maybe he deserves to know why. It can be useful for the guy to know why this is happening, especially if it was his fault, because in that way he can learn from his mistakes and try harder the next time he's in a relationship.\n\nI think the time depends on each relationship. It took yours 3 hours to be over because you have an ex boyfriend that loves to point out flaws; you said so yourself: " i finally told him to leave because i was sick of hearing all my supposed faults". \n\nI don't think you were rude. I think nothing good could have come out of listening to him. You sound patient enough to me! Good luck, and don't fret about it!
398678
break up with him, date someone else, when he asks why, tell him, because he doesnt treat you right. if he wants you back, he will shape up, if not, then you were not happy with him to begin with, so move on.
197306
Been there done that--both options.  Choose what you have.  What you had before didn't last for a reason.  It may feel thrilling but that sure as hell doesn't last.  You call him an ex-mess for a reason and the guy you are with deserves more respect than that.
318132
I've been in your shoes and I've been in the opposite side of your shoes. Clearly, like previously stated, this man does not know what he wants. Do you really think it's possible for a man to break up with you and change all those feelings of romance into friendship in just three days?!? He's just lonely and trying to fill the void (platoniclly, sexually, who knows), and he's probably unaware that your heart is at stake. If you want to be "friends" with someone after you've dated them, break up for real, cut contact, go about your life normally again, see other people, wait AT LEAST 3 months (maybe more), then see how you feel. A few years ago I had a gf and we went back and forth with the break-up/friend thing, and looking back it was such a waste of time. We ended up breaking up for good and we don't talk anymore. Now life is good. I have found another great girl and I don't need to be friends with my ex. After two years we've never done the break-up back and forth thing.\n\nGo after the one you love, don't waste your time and energy trying to decide if this confused guy is for you - he's obviously not. Your heart, future, family, etc. is too valuable.
444246
Hum... hard question... he might be sincere, but i REALLy don't like the fact that he broke up with you and then called to say how sorry we was.... sounds like one of those guys who slaps you in the face then begs your pardon.... why did he broke up with you? how did he do it? only you know what to do, but i'd think twice if i were you... good luck!