I am 26 mother of two who is divorced from children's father, presently living with him and trying to work things out. I was abused by him a couple of times by and I was a little at fault. I push the limits I aam currently married to the man that i left my ex-husband for. We had a lot of problems, but i left him due to violence too. Every kind of love has a different twist to it. someone answer this please
135026
find your self a GROW group its a 12 step program that will give you all the answers your looking for and will change the way you look at life.
261817
I am thinking that he's become abusive because he really isnt back to where he was....in his eyes.  And that would be something that HE needs to deal with.  Perhaps he needs some counseling on how to do that.  If that is impossible than it may be time for you to return to MT to have some form of life for yourself. But in there, you too should have some outside help, sot that you can release any feelings of guilt. I can certainly understand your frustration.  He seems no longer the person that you orginally married. However, that's not abnormal either.  We all change, both mentally & physcially, thus the high divorce rate.  I sincerly wish you luck in finding yourself again. Please include YOURSELF in your care giving! :)
488762
I think when I was younger, I was addicted to the drama... Me and my girlfriends would ON PURPOSE break up other couples in high school... Not because we liked the guy, but because we could. It was mean and hurtful and I've since changed my ways dramatically, but I was DEF addicted to the drama... Now I am truly in love and cant imagine being married to anyone other than my husband. He really does complete my life in so many ways. We are so comfortable around eachother and its great! Good question!
461404
I left 2 previous relationships that were abusive. It got to the point where it was a life or death situation. I had to leave to save the life of my child and myself. It was the best thing I ever did for myself. Right now I'm doing well rebuilding a better life for my little boy. I didn't want him growing up thinking that the way my ex treated us was right or the norm. I give props to every woman who has had the courage to leave. For those who haven't yet, I pray for your safety until you do. There has been a drastic rise in the number of women being killed by ex's lately and I knew if I didn't leave, I'd be next. I thank God for making a way of escape. Be encouraged.
553956
Yes!My parents got divorced and I had to move with my mum and my sister with my dad.When my father married again,my step mother wouldn't let me talk to my sister or see her and my dad knew all this but he didn't move a finger.I cried a lot,I was crying home at school,everywhere.After a while my father got divorced again and I could see my sister.I've learned that everybody makes mistakes and I learned to forgive him even if that was very hard for me.Now,I decided to forget that and I'm happy cause I've let go of my past.
279541
Thanks for asking.I am fine.Track record for relationship love was yucky. Have great children,wonderful sisters thats all i need. Thought for years whats love got to do with it,Then lucky for me 2 years ago I found out.Everyday with him i find out more. Our world is just that.OURS we put ourselves in some messes clean some up and pretend the others are someone else's problem.I'm fine I worry about our generations to follow
591952
You said this just started and for no apparent reason. Maybe it is just that you have no clue to the reasoning behind it. I am not saying he is justified in treating you like crap or doing things in front of the children that he shouldn't but there has to be a reason for it. Have you tried asking him what is going on. Maybe something has happened and for what ever reason he can't or doesn't know how to share this with you so in turn his actions is a result of what ever is really bothering him. You have made it clear you won't put up with this so stress this to him again that if he can't share with you what is going on you can't try to help him with it but that he isn't going to take it out on you either. He needs to make the choice as to what to do and then you can choose what to do based on how he feels. I really feel for you hun as something happened to my ex husband and he thought he would become physical with me until I told him he would die before he hit me again and of course the final results was I left. I couldn't fix something that I had no clue as to what was going on and I was not going to be hit on or abused in any other way either. I hope he comes around before you leave him but do what is best for you and the children hun!!.
522567
Well, im divorced. While I loved my husband we had too many issues, particularly his looney family. So unless they were gone, no, i would not marry him again. But, I also would not give up the years we had together, or the beautiful son we have together, for anything.
444356
Sometimes staying married for the sake of the children, hurts them in the long run.  Children can pick up when the parents aren't getting along. Growing up in a loveless marriage is hard on everybody.  What do you really think you are teaching them when they get into relationships.  You speak of him being abusive towards you, any time that is evident, I feel you must distance yourself from that situation, also this is definitely not good for your children to witness.  If he were able to sit down and talk in a civil manner, perhaps you might have a chance, but it seems like he is cutting off all communication .  It's a hard situation no matter which way you decide to go, but whatever you do, think of the children first.
314473
I've been on both sides of this. I lost my mom when I was only 4 years old. My dad remarried almost right away. I was too young at the time to say anything. But later he divorced her and started dating again when I was like 12 years old. None of my siblings were happy about it. We wanted our dad to ourselves.  Well, they got married. We haven't always liked her or got along. But, my dad is happy and that's all that mattera. I've been on the other side too. I dated a man who had two teenage kids. Him and his wife had divorced recently. The kids did not want their dad to date. They made life very difficult and caused me a lot of heart ache. I really liked them and just wanted to get to know them. In the end I simply couldn't do it anymore and I left. He's dating again but I think he's talked to his kids since then and they are a lot more accepting. Moral of the story: If they make your dad happy try to be happy for him. I'm sorry for your loss.
67923
I would reccomend that you do some real tough self analysis, Im not suggesting that your nuts, Im talking about looking deep within yourself to see why you want to be with this man? Your evidence is ;\nhe has been emotionaly abusive to your children.\nhe has been emotionaly abusive to you\nhe may be trying to get you to do things you dont want to  \n          He knows you and you know him, ask yourself, do I want to go through this again, do I think he will be good to my children this time?\n          It sounds to me like he has many issue's to work out before he could be a good husband and father. I'm sorry if this sounds very judgmental, but I have very little patience for abusors. I feel that the victims of abuse need to be taken care of first and kept safe. If he wants to become a person who will be good for you and your kids let him do it first then consider reconciliation.\n     This way you will not have to deal with more abuse from him, no one needs hear put downs from their family, and you wont have to deal with any guilt you would have for allowing him into the lives of your children and him doing more emotional damage to them.
310601
Oh girlfriend you are much better prepared.  Since you are mutually agreeing to divorce it shows that you are aware of what it is you want in a relationship, marriage or otherwise. The next man that you decide to marry will respect you more since you don't hold any ill will to your current husband soon to be ex...It shows that you have taken your life seriously. I am soon to be divorced from an abusive cheating husband, but the man I am currently with is the exact opposite.  If it weren't for his tenderness and compassion, not to mention love of God I would not be writing this to you.  Your gonna be fine darling!
255231
We set our own limitations enough, so why let an abusive ass hole bring you down more.  Move on sweetie, you can be strong.  Your self-esteem is low, and that's the only reason you feel that you love him; you might love him, yes, but question is, are you in love with him?  I doubt that very much considering what he has put you through. \n\nThe sky is the limit, for everyone.  Remember that.  Let go of the past.  Dwelling on it only sets limitations for the future.  You have three beautiful daughters, three reflections of you; how wonderful is that?  Find yourself, for their sake, and ultimately for your own.  You can do it.  Pray to God to give you strength, he won't let you walk through this alley alone. God Bless.
340094
I think your concerns are legitimate, and I think it's a good idea to consider carefully whether you want to let this abusive man back into your lives.  (I assume he abused you and the kids based on what you said.)  I think that people can change, but you should look for evidence that he is really serious about changing.  Enrolling himself in anger management classes or psychological counseling might be a good start.  Also, I think you have a right to be concerned about the timing of this "change of heart" and it sounds like you feel like he's using you, which sounds to me like a form of abuse.  I'd say, if you need help, get help from a battered women's shelter, an ecclesiastical leader, a counselor, or somebody else who can help you make a wise decision.  Remember to keep your kids in mind when you are making this decision -- think about what will be best for them.  God bless you.
618841
I was divorced & remarried after 3 years. \nI have now been remarried for 26 happy years. \nA marriage has to be worked at. \nThere are always going to be bad times but the trick is to work through them together & to support each other.
234357
We had a friend who divorced his wife because she would hit him as hard as she could. He was a big guy and never hit her back. she had issues from her first marriage with a husband who beat her, and a father who hit her mother. my friend was very gentle, but enough was enough. He never reported it, he just divorced her and let her keep the house. \nWe had another friend who had back surgery and his ex-wife would hit him where the surgery had been done whenever he wouldn't do what she wanted him to do. She was just nasty. He divorced her, but did not report it. \nBoth men remarried women who did not hit them.
106482
I seperated from my husband 3 1/2 years ago. We have a 3 1/2 year old son. We divorced in April of 2005. I have been dating my fiancee for about 2 1/2 years now and we live together with my son and are expecting our own baby in 1 week :) We are getting married in May 2006. I have to say that yes, it is possible to find true love after a divorce. I did. And I guess I'm one of the lucky ones to have been able to find someone who loves me and my son unconditionally. At first, I did have trust issues since my exhusband and an affair a week after own son was born. But I have learned to totally trust my fiancee with every ounce of my heart. He's a great man and I wish that I would have met him sooner. It does take time. You just have to learn to learn from mistakes in the past instead of letting the mistakes rule your life. Forgive and forget. Realize that the person you are with now is not the same person that hurt you in the past. They are two totally different people with two totally different set of morals. Once you come to realize this, you will be fine. Good Luck :)