hi, I have a grandma and i live with her we had to go to colorado and pick her up becasue one of my relatives is cycotic and tried to kill her shes lived with us for almost a year but shes always gettin mad at me and we always yell at each other she makes me so frusterated cuz she acts and dresses like me and im 13 and i no theres nothing wrong with this but it bugs me she goes on dates with ppl. and it really bugs me and some ppl think shes my mom. and now we hardley talk. wut do i do????
132415
I have just moved in with my Gran and it is hard, Just try and be understanding with her and if she is upsetting you calmly talk to her.
466534
come on..your mom is sad and she needs your help. its not that she is making you guys guilty, its that SHE is feeling guilty. she is feeling that she didnot spend  much time with your grandpa and doesnot want the same to happen to you guys. tell her that it is not her fault that he passed away and that he always loved her, no matter what. assure her that she was a good daughter and where ever he is, he is happy with her.your mom needs you the most now. tell her that you guys will have family quality time every weekends and do something fun. maybe this will make her feel less guilty and less scared.
550012
If I were you I have no clue what I would do sounds to me like your grandfather needs help. Anyhow my advice is to put him in a rest home, that way you dont have to deal with it. And your grandfather has a girlfriend? No offense but thats kinda messed up. Thats not something you hear everyday.
333237
You need to sit down with your mother and be VERY clear that you are your child's parent, and although you appreciate that she loves and cares about your children, they are ultimately YOUR responsibility.  If this behavior continues, your children are going to become very disrespectful of you, and you will have NO authority over them because they will know that Grandma will bail them out.  It's a very bad situation.  Best of luck!!!
511732
just take it easy... life is too short & it`s no time for hate your momm. be nice & make her loves you
138724
First, let me say I'm sorry that you went through this tramatic and troubling experience.  My grandfather was a lying, philandering pig, but when he died, my grandmother turned him into a saint.  Your mother appears to be doing the same thing.  You will never be able to understand how she could stand beside that monster who torments the dreams of her babies.  I can't either.  But to her, you are in the wrong.  Seems crazy, but to her you really are the bad guy.  Worry about yourself.  You probably need to talk to someone more professional than us to get your own life straight.  That is my only advise to you.  The first line of the serenity prayer is, "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change."  You can't change what happened, or your mom or sister.  Try not to be mad at them.  They are doing what they do for a reason, a reason you will probably never be able to understand.  Worry about you and who you are.  To be asking this question of us you realize that you need help.  Talk to a trained perfessional about this.  Good luck Sweetness, you deserve it!
449713
You are Family it is your obligation to take care of her , take it from some who has no grandparents , or parents or siblings. Some day you might be in this situation would you want to be abandoned ? To answer your question you dont get rid of her you love her , and let her know how important she is to you . If the BABES dont like your grandmother then they are not worth having anyway .
350876
I have dealt with a similar situation, and I know this hurts you. First of all, even though this is easier said than done, do not take her comments to heart. They simply aren't true, and these comments have already damaged you emotionally. Secondly, if you haven't already done so, seek counseling. This should help you to keep things in perspective, and to help you know that your mother's hurtful comments do not define who you are. If you still feel rotten, you could choose just not to see her anymore. This is a tough decision, I know. She is 92, and probably won't be around too many more years. Of course this does not mean you have to take her abuse and do whatever she says. Talk to a counselor. He/she can help you decide what is best for you. Good luck, and remember. . . your mother's comments are rubbish. You know your own heart.
463380
Yikes! that sounds like a lot to deal with.. but if your gf loves you she'll help her family understand.. Just continue your relationship as you have in the past. As long as youre not abusing your gf her family will have no real reason to dislike you. If the love is there and strong enough you two will get through this.. just dont get mad at your gf for her mother.. she didnt get to choose her parents... Its too bad her mom doesnt see that you two love eachother! \n\nPS.. Kudos to you for surviving a long distance relationship. if you can survive that you can survive a mother
189696
You are absolutly right for standing up in what you beleive in. just because you are from another country doesnt mean that you cant think on your own. This may sound really bad, but i think that his parents are closed minded people. Keep doin what you are doin. but try to keep the kids out of it whenever possible, that wouldnt be good for them to see. You also dont want you kids to think that it is ok that grandma controls you. You may want to consider going to see a counsolor a few times by yourself, venting, then bring the grandmother in for a few visits... apparently she wont listen to you, maybe she will take the time to listen to someone else that isnt a member of the family.\n\ni truly hope that things get better for you.
610746
First of all, it's nice to see someone who really is concerned about family!!!!  I wish you the best of luck in all you do, I know your grandma would be proud.\n\n     I'm not very good with legal things like this, but I'll try to offer some ideas for you.\n\n     1.  If you are taking care of your uncles welfare, check out becoming there power of attorny over finances.  This would give you legal ground to care for them and their money.  \n\n     2.  There might be some form of assistance for you, check out the social service programs in your area.\n\n     3.  Your younger uncle my be trying to deal with the death of his mother still, which can cause many changes in attitude and social behavior.  Try to be open and honest with him, let him know you're there to help.\n\n     Above all, be good to yourself, don't let this cosume you.  If you need a break, let them know. You are dealing with alot.  Make sure you have someone to talk to, maybe your religious leader (pastor, priest, etc.)
520236
She does sound crazy. Why does she think that you are your mum don't like her, you both obviously like her before she started making up all this rubbish. Also I don't understand why your brother is on her side when she is telling lies about you. Have either you or your mom ever said anything negative about her when he was around?\n\nThe point is you have tried talking to her, at this point I think its best that you just ignore and leave her and your brother alone to get on with things. The thing is do you think that at a later date if she ever splits with your brother she might blame it on you and your mum saying that they never liked me and that it why we broke up. Just something to bear in mind, considering this she is already telling other people that you both don't like her
527853
If this woman is talking to you in a way that makes you feel like crap, then I think you have already answered your own question.  What do you mean by your last sentence, "Should I try to end the relationship?"  Do you somehow feel like she has started to end it & you want to finish it BEFORE she does?  If so, then do it, because nothing is worse than a person who feels the need to on-up the other in a "dumpee/dumper" situation.  You can get another woman, but you'll never get another Grandmother.  If you gave your word to your Family first, then you will be doing yourself a dis-service by going back on your word.  Your word is your bond.  If this woman (or any other) can't relate to what & who you are, then you gotta ask yourself WHY you are staying with this person.  If it's for her cash, then that will only make you feel like a bigger jerk.  Money does factor into it, but you gotta go with granny.  After she dies, you'll be able to live with yourself because you did what was right.  No woman or man should ever get in the way of family.  This shows lack of compassion. What will happen if you get sick or injured someday?  Will she leave you, or stick by you,  & help you?  Why not ask her these questions & see how she answers you!  I don't need the points, but I did feel the need to get my thoughts on this matter in print for others to read.  Many families are facing similar issues because rest homes are expensive & they treat patients poorly.  You aren't alone in taking on this massive endeavor.  By the way, you have taken on the role of caregiver, which is traditionally a womans job.  As a result, your woman now has stepped into a male role, being the breadwinner & working outside the home.  Don't sell yourself short for staying home & being a caregiver because it is a very important role that most of American Society overlooks & ignores.  Your parents taught you well & the world needs more people who have morals & values when it comes to aging people.  Don't be so proud as to not ask for help if you feel you need it from an outside agency.  Good luck!
27885
call a relative .. grandma is best and have them contact your mother to tell her that .. her daughter? .. needs her or whatever the situation is .. tell the relative to tell your mother .. if you cannot stay with him because of abuse or something you need to contact an authority .. tell a relative what's going on and that you need to get out of the house
541824
Your approach should depend on whether you want to have a relationship with this grandmother.  If you do, you might want to respond clearly and honestly when she says something mean: "It hurts my feelings when you talk to me like that."  Or, "Grandmother, are you angry with me about something?"  Sometimes people don't realize what they are doing until they are called on their inappropriate behavior.  If you are not interested in having a relationship with her, you can choose to see her as little as possible, and just be civil to her when you do.  Good luck!
259733
There are so many gaps on so many levels so let me lay out  your options:\n1)let's say you end up with her in the end - you will destroy relationship with your uncle forever. She may betray you the same way she is betraying her husband at present once she gets bored with you (betraying in this case is defined as giving you hints that she is interested in pursuing some kind of physical relationship with you)\n2)you end up with her in the end, and because she chose to leave her husband, children will probably stay with him. She will never forgive herself for making that mistake and will secretly blame YOU later for all her misery (give or take 5-7 years later) - not sure if you are willing to carry that burden in years to come.\n3) you look in the other direction and realize that she is older than you and probably wants to experience the years she's missed while busy with family and children (assume she married young and had her children quickly). you will be much happier later and other opportunities will come your way trust me. on the other hand, you may choose to have a one time fling with her and both of you move on with your lives (this way she would regain her sense of reality and you will just get lucky :). The question is how are you going to look at each other during family gatherings later on...\n4) not sure about her husband, but if he's violent type, family betrayal could justify some of the worst consequences. \n5) my advice, you have seen nothing yet. Life is just coming at your full force and please do not close the doors when it knocks. Acknowledge your feelings, we all feel tempted at some point in our lives but you need to carefully consider all options (including feelings of other individuals who would be directly or indirectly affected by your decision to make a move in this case), before you take action.\nGOod luck and hope you keep us updated.
471821
YOU SEE I HAVE THE SAME PROBLEM ALSO, SO EVERY YEAR I ALWAYS GO TO MY PARENTS HOME, B/C SHE IS NOT VERY WELL, AND I GET A LOT OF OFFERS TO GO TO MANY OTHER PLACES, BUT I TELL THEM, I DON'T KNOW HOW MUCH MY MOM HAS TO LIVE (WHICH BY THE WAY IS TRUE) SO MOST OF THEM UNDERSTANDING. I THINK YOU AND YOUR BROTHER SHOULD GO TO YOUR GRANDPARENTS FOR THANKSGIVING, B/C YOU DON'T KNOW HOW MUCH TIME THEY HAVE TO LIVE ALSO, AND IT WOULD MAKE THE SO HAPPY TO SEE THE BOTH OF YOU. TALK IT OUT WITH YOUR BROTHER. GOOD LUCK, AND I HOPE WHERE EVER YOU GO, THAT YOU WILL HAVE A HAPPY THANKSGIVING.