ok , a friend of mine gave up his job to look after and raise his gorgeous twins. His wife earned more money than him so she went back to work(a shared decision) This was 5 yrs ago , anyhow it turns out that she has been having an affair for the last 3yrs, My mate went to see a lawyer and has been told it's unlikely he will stay in the marital home, unlikely he will get custody of the twins, unlikely he will get a fair settlemeny when the divorce goes through, unlikely he will get any alimony. Well ladies , it seems you do rule the world, this is blatant sexism, if this was the other way around dont you all think the settlement would be different!  IT STINKS
127380
Okay, first... I understand the wife had an affair and your friend is hurt & angry.  That being said, what is it that the wife wants?  Is she prepared to participate in a legal battle that could drag on for years, draining income?  \n\nYour friend and his wife should make an attempt to settle this between them without a costly court battle.  Perhaps the wife is willing to compromise, and shared legal/physical custody could be arranged.  I'm certain there is much more to this story than you could tell in a paragraph.  For example, did she work to put him through university?  Did he work to put her through school?  There are many different circumstances, but it is not unheard of for a woman to pay spousal support to her ex.  She will definitely fight that, but they may agree on shared custody of the kids and if the husband babysits the children while the wife is at work, I can certainly see paying him for his time instead of spousal support.  Compromise is the name of the game when it comes to a dissolution of marriage.  \n\nMy condolences to your friend.
550575
Trust me it happens everywhere. I live in Australia same thing here. My daughter went to court for a few reasons, child support being one of them. She had two children to this moron who wouldn't work, she pretty much supported him, he was abusive so when she finally plucked up enough courage to leave he got himself a job, cash in hand ofcourse went to court and claimed he was only living on the dole.Even though she had proof of him working the judge didn't want to know about it. He was ordered to pay her  $20 a month for two kids and he has never even paid that. Trust me the judicial system sucks everywhere not just Rock county. Perhaps if all the mums who have been wronged by the system got together they may be able to change things. We can all live in hope  I guess. It's just not fair, after all it's the poor innocent kids that suffer. Best of luck  K  x
564810
I live in Kansas and my sister is a legal secretary. She says that for alimony or child support spouses income is their income and is not included in the worksheet. Man that SUCKS that your husband has to pay alimony. I hate alimony and would never ever dream of asking for it. Child support yes depending on the circumstances and how often daddy has the kids. But alimony, my god she's a grown freakin woman capable of getting a job right? GRRR that just eerks me.
570931
Is it the man? I thought it was the person whom provides the income or higher income of the family. They do it to "help out" the person on the downside of the divorce.
633569
men like him say that because they need to be in control.   if your kids are older then they usually get to make the decision of which parent they want to stay with.  Just explain this to the judge, they usually side with women.  i know from my own experience with my own controlling ex-husband.  he said he was going to take my daughter from me and now he barely even sees her.  Just stay strong in front of him and say "okay you have the right to try but we'll see what the judge says in court."  Women usually get custody of the children as long as they don't have a drug problem.  It doesn't really matter if you don't have a job.  they will make him pay child support and you tell the judge your still looking for one.  Nobody gets their kids taken away for not having a job.  You can get temporary assistance until you get back on your feet again.  hope this was helpful. don't give in to his little tactics.  all men use the same lines.  just act like it doesn't bother you.  All the judges I've seen were able to see right through my ex.  he got absolutely nowhere.
378144
i feel your pain brother, and yes it is true. my ex did the same s--t to me. i have3 kids. pay more than that per week and also provide medical,dental,and eye care.\nthe real kick in the ass will be when her NEW boyfriend(unemployed also of course) moves in and you end up supporting his ass too.\nkeep your cool and remember that the children come first.\nGOOD LUCK
362988
I was watching a top divorce lawyer on the wright stuff this morning!!!\n\nWell a woman called in and she asked,"would she be entitled to anything, she lived with her partner for "9 YEARS" and had a young child with him and the answer to that was "NO"\n\nYou will have to pay for the child of course.
211097
There is nothing fair in a custody battle for anyone, regardless of who gets what ultimately someone loses out, most times its the children.  I would have to agree with you on the attorney issue though, it takes money to get a good attorney, and it can go to ungodly amounts of costs.  Every phone conversation is subtracted as well as everthing else.  I feel for my husband, because his ex is now dating an attorney who seems to have nothing better to do then take him to court.  Of course its no out of pocket expense to her so she finds anything to bring him back into court for. I guess all I can say to you is Good Luck, Do alot of praying.
114390
I am in that situation right now. I had a one night stand and got pregnant, which I was told I could never have children. The guy and I got together but we weren't in love. We made our bed so we are lieing in it. It isn't our son's fault that we didn't use protection. Besides I am happy I had my son. We feel that even though we are not happy, in order for our son to be whole with a happy life, that we are sacrificing our happiness. Divorce is really hard on the children and being raised by a single parent is sometimes difficult. All my son's friends are being raised by a single parent. Most of them come to our home to eat dinner and get dessert which they don't get at home. They hang out at our house cos their parents are out on the weekends trying to find another mate. One has gone down the wrong road, the other misses home cooked meals, the other one misses his dad doing father-son things even though there is visitation. If there isn't any abuse involved, I would say stay until they are out of high school.
551808
It shouldn't be a surprize to anyone.  He's a loser, she's too young and naive.  Hopefully she won't have to pay him too much money.  It's good that she'll be able to afford to raise those babies.  Another story of:  Could have told you so!!!
67765
you have to pay until they get a better job which negates the need for alimony or until they get married which also negates it. if they are living with another man that is not a relative then you may have recource. talk to your lawyer and see what they can come up with. give them all the information and if you can prove when it started all the better. and if financials have changed then take that too.
627554
your friend need a good solicitor...and someone to take his son for a long drive-away from his father-because if one of my kids ever put me thru this crap i would beat him...then it would be worth getting arrested for it!\nWhat is the so called mother playing at? Suddenly wanting the kids after not bothering for 6 years? Sounds like if your friend cant beat the lad, that maybe his ex wife should be in line!#\nI dont agree with hitting women or kids...but there a line that needs to be drawn and not to be crossed by the people that should show you some respect. good luck to him.
29778
He sounds like a dirtball. Sorry to hear it. Get a good lawyer and take his a*s to court again. DONT listen to friends and family...get a lawyer. Your kids well being is worth it. GOOD LUCK!
256670
It hardly seems fair. One would have the right to expect the bio father to be chased up or tracked down for payments. That's very strange. In Australia I think that would only happen if he had legally adopted them. My ex brought my son up for 12yrs before we separated but never legally adopted him and even though we did have the first step of adoption done, ie a legal name change, he didn't have to pay a cent toward him because he denied him, and the proposed adoption. My son was devastated. In your situation I'd be seeking legal advice and see perhaps if there is or has been a legal precedence in relation to the situation. I hope your man is done havn kids...I know five is enough for me...lol
18161
Well, as a guy paying 1500 per month in child support for one child, I TOO see both sides of it. I agreed to pay this amount, and was not required to pay it. One of the other responders is correct, it varies from state to state, but runs about 20% of your pay. the fact is, I am more qualified, and financially responsible to raise my child. I have more energy, time, and general resources than my Ex-wife, but do you think I could EVER win custody, even though I am truly more qualified? No, never, not in a million years can a man win.. So for the average man, it is a lose/lose situation.. We lose a large percentage of our pay, and we lose much of our time with our child.. My lawyer said in the state of Texas, a woman has to have murdered someone to lose their child, and he claims there has not heard of a single case where the father was given custody without VERY extenuating circumstances. \n\nTo the person who said "they should have thought about that before they had kids".. Don't be an idiot. You must be 12 years old...
58402
I doubt it. Alimony is totally different than plain old child support.
517362
Tell her to immediately get on the phone and report that information to child support enforcement without delay!! Also make sure she doesn't mention that she is interested in finding out if the support cvan be garnished from it to the child's father because he may try to hide it or be more secretive. Tell her prior to calling try to find out from him who the insurance compnay is that he sued, that way when she contacts enforcement they will know what insurance agency to contact to put a garnish on it. I know it can be done, because my ex husband was hit by a car as a pedestrian and he was warded money. They took it and because he has such a history of not paying they even took out a year's worth of ADVANCE payments. Hopefully there is still some time before the insurance company pays to allow for enforcement to contact the insurance agency and to allow for them to get the petition to granish over to a judge to get signed. She needs to take advantage of this quickly before he gets that check and cashes it and it's too late for her to lay claim. If for some reason your state doesn't allow support to be garnished from a settlement, which I don't see why not, then she needs to make sure once she knows he has endorsed that check that she stays on enforcement's back of pursuing him to comply with child support...I'm sure if they don't garnish his check, once he cashes it and he has a choice of jail or paying a 5th of his check to support, he'll choose to pay.