I've been with him for 6 years and we have 2 kids. Our relationship went to the dogs nad I started dealing with this female. He is/was fine with it. I know that I cannnot keep goin like this it has been a year and i'm gettin tired. it is too much. I love her and Im love with him. he is here financially and an occassional screw. She is here financially, emotionally, sexually, just over-all. My children are 7 and 4. The oldest  a girl...do i stay with daddy or go on to live life with her?
126875
i think it is going to be really hard for you but you should just try to sit your daughter down explain to her the things of life what you are&#92;were going through.tell her its not the person but the heart.tell her ,her father was not a bad person but the things that were suppose to be between you and him were just not happening and you have now found it in this person. tell her to try to see your lady as a person you love and that loves you and not a female.
534723
Your feelings are normal- he is not your biological son, and I assume you do not have any children to compare your feelings to.  Not everyone is capable of loving unconditionally- which is what you would have to be capable of doing for her boy- just like if you adopted a 7 year old boy.  This is not to say that you will not "grow" to love him- and you already do, but in a different way then you would a child of your own, which is okay.  Enjoy your relationship with her and him, and dont sweat your feelings for him- he's probably just happy to have a "step dad" in his life that he can relate to.  Good luck, and dont worry.............
28703
I think you should leave and divorce him.It is an emotional strain on your kids as well as yourself.If you won't do it for yourself then do it for your children.It might be hard at first because it will probably be hard for you to make a change after being with him for so many years.A lot of people have a hard time making a change because they are afraid of the unknown even though they are miserable and deep down know that it would be best for them and their kids.You and your children deserve better.Just do it and get on with the rest of your life.
417725
You had 26 answers already at the time of my replying, and i didnt read them but i can imagine what most of them will say. You are young, your boyfriend doesnt treat you right and doesnt treat his body with respect - so why do you think he will be good for you when he's not good to himself?\n\nOf course you have got involved with someone else. Its natural. You want a proper life with someone who cares. Its not a mess sweetheat, he's no good for you so just leave! Really, just pack up your stuff and leave. It may be hard but it will be best in the long run.\n\nGet support from family and friends, and just do it! A&#92; year from now you will be SO much happier!\n\nIf a friend was in your situation what would you tell them? You'd said he doesnt deserve you, wouldnt you? Come on, ring your mum or a friend and say you want help leaving..... they will be delighed to help believe me!\n\nMy daughter left a relationship like this last year. He was a drinker and had started to push her around too. Now she is with a lovely bloke.\n\nI hope you get the strength to do this, and make a good life for yourself.
638489
Your daughter is the result of all that was good in your relationship, You may be right about depending on him...you need to stand on your own to feet and take care of your daughter in order establish a healthy relationship with another...do not, I repeat do not look for the same kind of man that will cause you to continue to be dependent on...good luck...all the love to get you thru such a crisis is in the eyes of your daughter.
379868
He may well love his daughter but you say you've been together 7 years which have not been good so, maybe he's thinking about the long term and would rather be an absent loving father than a present one in a less than pleasant scenario. Test of the situation will be if he maintains her and has regular visits and contact. As a mother, I could not have done that but some do from the very best of motives for the well being of the child they have to leave. To be a tad harsh.........I get the impression he is leaving you, not your and his daughter. Sometimes a loving but absent parent is kinder to the child in the long term.
562771
I can hardly imagine you having 3 kids ages under 5 and your no 4 is on the way..... I admire your capability but it seems your ability to raise them is beyond your control.  The lack of 'freedom' in your husband shows that he is still youthful and wants the best in his world. His responsibility is zero and committment to you is just for the moment of fun. I know that this harsh words maybe hurtful but just want you to wake up and stop pinning high hope to someone who do not deserve your trust and love.... release him and focus on your 4 innocent lives whom you had brought into this world. Remember, they dont deserve the pain but LOVE......
361990
You can't tell your daughter's father to stay out of her life, because this will create a lot of drama between the two of you! It seems to me that he doesn't want to take responsibilities for his actions and doesn't want to be involved in her life! I agree with you; not only is he hurting his daughter by not being there in her life, but he's hurting himself as well. What he's doing now will be full of deep regret later on in life! If he doesn't want to be in his daughter's life, let him continue to pay child support! Besides, as your daughter grows up in the years to come, she will learn more about her father and won't show any respect for him! Good luck to you and I wish you and your daughter the best!
540933
Hi, sorry to be sneaky but I looked at your other questions and if you will permit an old fogey to offer a little well-meant advice, it's this.  23 may feel it but you are not old enough yet to use phrases like 'I'm not getting any younger'.  Also, take the mystical bit out of it and remember 'render unto Caesar that which is his'.  In other words, it is your parents house so while you stay there it is reasonable for them to expect you to 'toe the line' just as long as it is a reasonable line.  Try and chill out and look at things slightly differently.  You do not have to rush into anything as long as you feel able to compromise so what's the rush?  If you really feel your step-dad is being a jerk then make your mind up to go and be sweet and well-mannered while you plan to go your own way.  In the end he will be the loser and you have a life of your own to live so live it.  You decide when where and how, the only price you have to pay for that is just words.  My youngest daughter has been in Nurse training for two years and absolutely loves it. I think you will be fine when your time comes and you alone will know when that is.  Good Luck, will think of you.
590126
I know this will be the hardest thing for you to do, but you need to let go of this person. He sounds like he can't commit, and he would be a lousy father. You also need to let go of the idea that he is going to change, or that you two will spend your life together. \nYou need to turn to your friends and family for support and strength now. You need to focus and take care of yourself and your child.\nDon't waste anymore time on this person. There is someone out there who will love you and be there for you the way you deserve (and yes, you deserve to be treated well and lovingly). But you won't meet him until you have your life together and have moved on.
10777
Do you love him enough to stay with him if the kid is his? You have a very difficult decision to make now. If you trust him...you have the potential to be happier than ever and marry him spend your life with him and never have another problem like this...however, there is also the chance that he will do the same thing over and over. You need to evaluate your wants and needs and decide if he gives you those things...if he does in abundance then I think you have your answer. I hope the choice you make is the right one. Good luck with this!
234853
WELL I THINK WHAT YOU DID FOR HER AND HER DAUGHTER WAS MORE THEN MANLY. MOST MEN WOULD SAY OH WELL AINT MY PROBLEM AND WOULD HAVE STAYED. I THINK THAT YOU SHOULD STILL HAVE A RELATIONSHIP WITH THAT WOMAN IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU CARE FOR HER VERY MUCH. YOU DONT HAVE TO LIVE THERE AND SHE CAN STILL DEVOTE TIME TO HER CHILD. HAVE EITHER ONE OF YOU TRIED TO MAKE THE DAUGHTER APART OF YOUR RELATIONSHIP SO SHE WONT FEEL LEFT OUT. WE AS MOTHERS HAVE TO LEARN HOW TO SHARE OUR LOVE AND ATTENTION. TALK TO HER AND YOU TALK TO THE DAUGHTER TRY TO BE A FAMILY NOT JUST MOM'S BOYFRIEND. IN THE MEAN TIME- TAKE KARATE, GO TO THE GYM, BECOME A BIG BROTHER,DO SOMETHING YOU WILL BE PROUD OF AND STOP MESSING WITH SKANKY WOMEN JUST IN CASE YOU AND MOM GET BACK TOGETHER
650680
If you are finding it difficult to move on , it might be a good thing that she moves away ! The less you have to see her , the better off you will be ! I went through the same thing about a year ago , with the father of my children. \n    Luckily 4 me , i guess--> it made me see him in a whole nother light . I started to see him 4 the scum that he is , 4 the first time fully in our 8 1/2 year relationship !\n    Right now , he is living about 5 blocks from our house w/ his new girl--> the one that he cheated with . He does'nt pay child support , & never wants to see our children . \n     He actually had the balls to call me today , and think that he deserved some special recognition from our daughter because it was Fathers Day. I told him that until he started being a father , and starts making sure that his children are taken care of---> he deserves nothing from them ! ie : if he can't help to support them , or spend time with them on a regular basis--> he might as well just be classified as a sperm donor---> which is someone that has no rights !\n   I have actually had our childrens healthcare cancelled , because he refused to give me the things i needed from him to renew thier insurance . And , he has let his children go hungry , because he refuses to send them some sort of support .\n    You , atleast don't have to worry about all of that ! Your\nson will be taken care of-->just as my kids will . Just please , make sure you help her out with your son , and spend some quality time with him as often as you can !\n   The ladies will come & go , and most more than likely there is another waiting right around the  corner 4 you !\nShe is obviously not the one 4 you , so go out and have some fun responsibly---> and you will find someone to help you take your mind off of her !
265937
The first thing you need to realize is that it's never going to get any better.He's not going to wake up some day and be the man of your dreams, in fact its only going to get worse.I know I've been there.But sometimes loving someone is just not enough.You are never going to be able to change him.You deserve someone who treats you with love and respect.And think about the future. if you stay with him and end up having kids How is he going to treat them if he has no problem hitting you?
334327
Reading some of the replies you got here today you got a lot of good advice.  How is your relationship ? That should be the first thing you think about. Does he feel obligated or quilted by you to stay around because of your daughter? Do you say things to him like if you don;t stay here you won't see your kid?  Does the only time he pays attention to you is when & if you can get him alone in the bedroom ? Girlfriend, if your answer is yes to one or more of hese above questions you don't have a good relationship.   Its just an obligation thing..\n\nJust because you think you want to have sex all the time does not qualify you as a sex accident or even a nympho.  Darling if he ain't intrested in anything your trying then you better move on.. Be careful out there & use protection at 21 you don't need another kid or any dieseases. \n\nPutting your child in front of the tv for entertainment ain't to healthy either.  Maybe thats what he is uncomfortable with.. Why not ask him . Plan a date night, get someone to watch your child for a couple of hours, go out so something fun together, you never know he just may want to stay home & have sex.. Some people can't relax when they know their kid is up , maybe doesn't like to get interupted during sex or have the kid walk in on you or start crying.  Nothing like a good crying to ruin a good hard on.
463210
wow dude looks like it's time to move on......sounds like you really care for her just not her daughter....you need to find another girl with no baggage..and start fresh.
87849
I dont think that just because you leave him that it will sacrifice your daughters happiness. You dont have to be together for him to be in her life. You're doing more harm than good for all three of you by staying in an unhappy relationship. If you truly care about him, let go and give him and yourself a chance to find someone to make you both truly happy.