I plan on moving to a city I've never been to. People often tell me that there are dangerous areas in that city. I may have to work or live in one of those neighborhoods. I am scared to death of something bad happening to me because I have to use public transport to get around. Lately I have been having nightmares, one about being attacked at a bus stop and another where I died and saw my own funeral. I even woke up with a date in my head-- Dec.12th. I don't want to go out that way. I'm moving there to be closer to my boyfriend as he now lives 2 hours away from me. I don't think he's going to ask me to move in with him. What should I do to protect myself while I wait for him to take the next step?
138477
Sweetie if your that scared of something happening the last thing you need is a gun registered or not.Why not try living in a Suburb or surrounding town.I think your nerves might be able to handle that a little better.And he should be able to handle the trip to see you.Good luck....
315189
go, far far away, even if you have to stay in a homeless shelter, it is better than an unfaithful violent man. You will stop having as many outbreaks when you stop the exposure and the stress. Your heart will heal better away from him as well. Best of luck to you.
106328
I am a follower of Silvia Brown (psycic) and she says that these things sometimes happen. If I were you I'd go for it and try the move to this place you've never been and see if you find the guy. Give it a year or so...if nothing becomes of it at least you can say you had an interesting experience and saw a new place. It may even open the door to something better than what you have found in your dreams so far. Good luck.
268049
yes, worry about it - better safe than sorry. keep your eyes open, if you live with a room mate/boyfriend/family, tell them what happened. if i were you i would be keeping a baseball bat handy at home. if you have some mace, start carrying that in your purse.\n\nif someone follows you like that again, DO NOT GO HOME. keep driving, try to shake him off. try to read his license plate as you're driving and memorize it. if you can't lose him, drive to the nearest police department or police barracks. if he follows you into the parking lot, go inside and have a chat with the police.
133505
it would make it easier on you now that he moved out and away to say to him you really feel you need your space. just let him know you've never experienced life by yourself. you were 19 when you got into this and now that your 21 (my 21 b-day is in 7 days i so syked!), you're old/young enough to experience everything you've wanted. if you feel you want to go out and have fun as a single more power to you to follow your heart and do what'll make you happy! GL
560961
Don't move out there unless you already are serious, sure that you love him, sure that there are no hidden problems that you can't deal with, and sure that you will either marry him or be able and happy to build a new life there if marriage plans fall through.\nIt sounds like he is not the one for you.  If that's so, don't try to fit him into that position.  Wait for the man you feel good about.
649477
I love this question!!!\n\nOkay, well, are you asking what I would do? or for advice what to do?\n\nI have personal experience with this question as this has actually happened to me.\n\nYears ago, I was dating a girl that had an infant daughter.  She lived with her mother in an upscale neighborhood that shared it's borders with some "bad" areas.  The two of them were extremely beautiful and very petite.  The topic of being home alone and having the doors locked at all times, came up often.  Looking out the front door gave you a false sense of security as the surrounding homes were very nice and well kept.  Friendly neighbors, etc...\n\nIt was summer and I would have been at work, but it's hard to landscape in the rain.  I had called home to tell her that I was on my way.  She told me that she had put the baby down for a nap and that she would be "ready" for me when I got home.\n\nWhen I walked in the front door, quietly as not to disturb the baby, I heard struggling and the baby crying!\n\nNow, at that time, I had been a bouncer for 4 years, a bodyguard for two and a martial artist for 7.  Fear, well, didn't have any of that.  I guess you could say the only thing I feared at that moment was that I was too late.  I made my way up the stairs as fast and silently as possible.\n\nThe baby's room was the first I would encounter so I made sure to evaluate her first.  Peeking in to see that she was only crying for typical baby reasons, I made my way to the next doorway.\n\nI was lucky, that the baby's cries concealed my movements.  For our misfortune was that there were TWO men in the house.  One in her room and the other seemed to be looking for things to steal and began yelling at the other to leave the "b!tch" alone and grab some shiite.\n\nThis is were lots of training helps.  You really need to keep your cool if you're going to get involved.  I knew there wasn't enough time to wait for the police.  The police in Pontiac, MI SUCK anyway.   So, my actions were the only chance she and the baby had.\n\nThe cover of sound was my only ally.  With both mommy and baby screaming, the guy attacking her would never know I took out his friend, if I did it quickly and quietly.\n\nI don't want to sound like a bad Steven Segall movie, so I'll spare you the details of my techniques.\n\nWith ROBBER GUY #1 down, I only had to deal with the guy on top of mommy.  Now, some people have asked me before why didn't I go to her first?  Well, if I went to her first, guy #1 would have come in to help his friend.  Now, I can take on two guys, but why if I don't have too?  Besides, she was doing a pretty good job fighting.\n\nWhen I entered the room, I didn't have any time to think.  She had just broken free of his grasp and luanched for the door.  Bad timing as we collided with each other and sent her back a step.\nI grabbed her and threw her behind me, as I did this, he too grabbed for her and his nasty crack  pipe nails dug deep gouges on her shoulders.  The scars from which, she still has to this day.\n\nI took a couple steps back and when I heard the baby's room door shut and lock, I yelled out, CALL 911, my phone is on the floor.  I had thought far enough ahead to leave my phone in the baby's room.  Knowing, that once free, mommy would go straight to her.\n\nIt seemed like an eternity, we stood there in a stalemate.  I was quite a bit bigger than he was, but I could see the crazy drug induced haze in his eyes.  The desperation that comes from need, fear and confusion.  He yelled at me and I cursed him...\nI think what happened next may have changed my life more than any other event in my life.\n\nI heard the sound of a cartridge being chambered into a semi-automatic handgun.\n\nHis friend was back on his feet and standing behind me with a pistol pointed directly at me.\n\nYou pretty much only have one option here.  PRAY\nwell, pray and shiite your pants.\n\nHowever,
354815
If he made any kind of threat you need to print the email out and take it to the police.  It sounds like he hurt you before, tell the police that too.  Make sure to tell them that you fear for your life.  They can't do much at first since you probably didn't report being hit in the past, but you can start doing something now.  \n\nThis guy sounds like a control freak that can't stand you being with someone else and I feel for you.  I had a boyfriend like that and he stalked me for months until the police got involved.   He didn't want to go to jail and finally found another poor girl to abuse.  \n\nTake the threat very seriously, tell your family and friends about him and give them a copy of the email and keep a copy of it with you as well to show the police if you have to call them.  Make sure that you are never alone anywhere (even a quick trip to the store), that you always have your cell phone (charged) and that anyone with you knows to keep an eye out for him. If he shows up anywhere you are, call the police- every single time. If he is stalking you and making threats the police need to see a reported pattern of behaviour before they can do anything.  He might be waiting for when he thinks you are vulnerable, so keep all your doors and windows locked and maybe buy a dog.  Find the number of your nearest abuse shelter and get some counseling to learn how to deal with someone like him and so you can learn how to stand up for yourself so you don't end up with someone like him again.  Maybe you could find a self defense class to take at a community center or a college near you.\n\nThings like this can easily escalate and he may try to harm you, your family or your boyfriend.  They all need to know to stay away from him, that he is dangerous and is making threats.  No one will be mad at you, they care about you and want you to be safe.  And he wants you to be embaressed or to blame yourself so he can get away with hurting you and get control of you again.  Don't let him!!  \n\nDon't be afraid because deep down all guys that treat girls like that are cowards.  If he thinks you are going to make it hard for him he will (unfortunately) go find someone that will be easier to control.  I hope you will be okay and safe and that you find a guy that will treat you the way you deserve- with respect, gentleness and love.  God bless!
279353
I salute you, lady.. you're tough enough to face your fears and i can see you're still standing tall coz you know where you stand with your man.. just keep trusting him, he has not done anything for you to stop doing so.. memories are memories, so leave them as that and face your future with this man you love enough to be with.
609973
I'm only 12 years away, is that close enough?\n\nTo thine own self be true.\n\nFollow your dreams until they become nightmares. At which time, you should wake up and face reality for as long as it takes until you can once again pursue your dreams.\n\nIntentionally cause no malicious harm.\n\nNever tell others how to live their own lives.\n\nThe importance of most things is inversely proportional to the availability of those things.\n\nDisappointment = result/expectation\n\nAnd, don't spit into the wind.
572628
if you're ready you won't be scared. it's a good move, it builds character... regardless of your situation, I'd say moving out is always a step in the right direction, just remember to be responsible and careful, and don't let people use your home as a crash over all the time lol yeah, watch out for people you want to take advantage of staying over! They come in swarms, believe me... Make sure you get your mum and dad to give you a few points... i hope you can cook ;-)
314807
I do that too.  When my roommate was out of town, I had to check everywhere - Under the bed, in the shower, in the closet... just to make sure I was the only one in the apartment.  But there is a point where you go overboard.  You can't always be afraid, but a girl has got to be careful these days!  Maybe talking to a couselor would make you feel more secure.  Or take a self-defense class.  I did and now I feel like if I DID find someone hiding in my apartment I could kick thier butt!
509594
if your skin crawls...even sometimes...you just answered my first question...you don't want to be married to this guy.  Possibly you have a fear of the unknown and what may or may not lay ahead for you.  Maybe you feel you deserve this and no better.  Maybe it's financial fears.  Whatever they are, when you hit rock bottom with him, you'll know it and then, in your own time, you'll make your decision to stay and live with it or go.  There won't be questions or fears once you choose.  It's really not so bad on your own.  The trade offs, even if financial, are worth it.  I love coming home to peace and quiet and never having to wonder where the land mines are in my own home.  I wish you the very best.
629348
Wow, sounds like you have a lot going on in your life. Maybe you need to take some time and be by yourself in order to figure out what you want to do with your life. You have a heavy burden with your boyfriend and worrying about him falling apart once you leave.You shouldn't have to be responsible for keeping him emotionally stable, he does.  Everyone is afraid of being alone in life, but your fear is causing you to not take risks in your life. Don't be afraid to just dive into something new, be it with your boyfriend, by yourself or with someone else.
131263
you just think you are in the way.you seriously nedd to get out of this relationship,do you wanna die?this is abuse and it is so wrong,im sorry you are going through this.plz leave before it gets worse,he thinks he can scare you into staying cuz he can beat you up.saying you are in the way is a copout.plz leave.it will only get worse.ok,once they start hitting,they dont stop,next your family will be planning your funeral.plz plz leave  best of luck
334645
If you don't feel comfortable there you should move.  Case closed.\n\nIf you're asking whether your house was haunted, well, I'm a bit skeptical about that.  Who's to say someone wasn't doing those things to you either as a joke or to be nasty to you.
237190
If your worried he will become physically abusive yet you want to break off the relationship then I suggest staying with a friend with whom you can be sure to be safe. Right away go to the local magistrate or district court and file for a Protection Order (PO) or Temporary Restraining Order (TRO). At the time you do this you need to make the court aware that he currently lives with you in your place but that you have vacated your own place to stay with a friend because you're concerned for your safety. This will place on emphasis on the fact that he needs to also be removed from your domicile.\n\nEven once the PO or TRO is issued I would continue to suggest that you stay with a friend for a short period of time or at the very least have a friend stay over with you in your place once he's been removed from it.\n\nBe safe and best wishes !!