we have been together for fifteen years we have 5 children and one on the way. She says she is pregnant also. what should ido,i want to stay only till i have my baby in 12 weeks. should i divorce or try work it out he says he has not seen her since i found out 3 weeks ago .
121149
If your husband is willing to still maintain this relationship while you're pregnant with his child, then he has MAJOR commitment problems.  Forget the fact that the two of you will have a baby soon - your husband is setting a TERRIBLE example for your children.  Get divorced, move on.  Don't stick around unless you truly know that he is no longer going to see the other woman.  Also, did you know that he will be liable for paying child support for that child?
624138
I am married and pregnant with another man's baby.  I was separated from my husband for 5 months before I got pregnant with my boyfriends baby.  My ex (soon to be ex-husband) still wants me sometimes too.  He said that if he got the chance to have his family back, he would in a heartbeat, even if he had to help raise another man's baby.  BUT......I don't feel right about that.  I should have never married my hubby because I didn't love him enough, and we were pressured because we already had one little girl together a year before we got married, so we went a head and did it.  Now, I have two little girls, already, and one more little girl on the way.  Yeah, i messed up, maybe if i would've given it a little more time after the separation, me and the ex could've worked things out, but I wanted to move on with my life with this other man.  But, anyways, the point is,,,,,,,, i am currently in this situation, and I choose to not go back to my ex husband because I have ruined everything that we could have had together.  I am still in love with my new baby's daddy, but he couldn't handle the situation, either, so we broke up.  So, make the decision that's right for you.  You are the only one that knows your whole situation. Good luck!     Praying a lot helps too!
78593
I have much REspect for you.Please be STRONG for your children!I am a married woman.I'm 34(he's 35)and I have been with my spouse since high school(15yrs old)!Lately,I have been thinking Alot about divorce!We have had our share of problems in this marriage!(we've cheated,seperated,etc!)Please don't fill like a Failure!You are a mother!Although you may not be a wife,anymore.A mother is the most IMportant thing you could ever do in your life!And you should REspect yourself for that!I have two beautiful daughters as well(ages 12&8).And,they do not want me to seperate from their father.However,I am not happy.I am miserable.It really seems as if we have grown apart throughout the years!Although he will NOT admit it.And he will not leave!Because,he would have to go and live with his mother.He was laid off,collected UNemployment for 6 mths.Now,He has ZERO income.But,it's not even about the money.I have a decent Income.But my money goes I pay all of the bills,etc,etc!With no help from him.He ignores me alot lately.He yells at me if I ask him when he's gonna start to look for employment.We do not sleep together,anymore.(Rarely)!But yet,I won't get rid of him because I am AFRAID!I am afraid of being alone!I am afraid of being a single mom!I do NOT have much support!No family or friends that wanna hear about it!My only family is my mother and she flips out when I mention his name!Because she despises him.And thinks he is an UNfit father and husband,she has even tried to fiX me up with others.Don't get me wrong,He has worked in the past.But there aren't alot of great jobs here in our area.But I thought since he isn't working he would help me around the house more!He does a lil bit but NOT much!He just sleeps constantly,OR plays that damn XboX,or watches Tv 24-7!And it is starting to drive me crazy!We could be tottaly broke need gas,need bread and milk,everything.And he would sit all day and play xbox/or watch tv and act like everythings all good??Please is anyone else out there eXperiencing this with their man/hubby?I would love to hear from you!I would go craZy without this site!lol.I am so ready to call it quits!But,I am just so afraid of being alone.But,It would be so GREAT to find a man who loves me like I love him!One who works,likes the outdoors,fishes,hunts,etc,etc!And one who is good with children!Believe me hun,they are out there!They are just hard to find!But,don't give up!Pray!I bet you time will heal the hurt you are feeling now!And,when you do meet someone else you'll be ready!And hopefully happier than you ever were with him!And I agree with the above look into some support groups they will definately help you!(maybe I should take my own advice,huh?lol)Plus,you may meet someone there you never know.Or at least make some NEW friends!Hey GOOD luck to you!And hey your not all alone dear!You do have us!lol Even though it's just a website.We are all here to help you and give you advice!Sometimes I think I would rather be ALone!Than be with someone who is abusive.And makes me feel Unloved,UNwanted and Neglected!But then again,I might freak out(seriously!)I am just so dependant on him.Even though the marriage is done.And it's stale.I continue to stay?Yes,I am in counseling.But, no that hasn't helped much either!I am on anti depressants,and a whole bunch of other meds.But,I still feel the same.Maybe I'm too afraid to be loved?I don't know what it is anymore.But think of it this way,At least you can be proud of yourself for standing on your own two feet,and raising your children!May I ask why you got divorced after so many years together?Was it your idea or his?If you don't mind sharing.I am really curious about what happened?Thanks!Take Care and good luck to you and the kids!
288032
You didnt mention why you separated, I think that is important to know to answer the question.  But anyhow yes it does sound like she wants to hold off on the divorce.  Its a good thing you have pets, it will give you both the opportunity to spend time together to know if you should get back together.  Unless your going to be single the rest of your life there is no getting away from emotional heartache.  Its a part of life and love.  Might as well try and work it out with someone who was good enough to be your wife in the first place.
538792
It's hard living with someone.  I would just leave her alone and focus on trying to keep your stress down.  How far along are you?  It could just be that you're on an emotional rollercoaster, I was (and am) with all my pregnancies.  I'm around your age and 12 weeks pregnant, so if you want to me to kinda be there throughout it you're more than welcome to email me at kalliea923@yahoo.com  I hope all gets better with the living situation, and just remember that nothing lasts forever.  She may get over it soon.
94882
Don't leave. It can be used against you later to keep you from getting even partial custody. Stay for the sake of at least visitations. I know, I had to go through the same sh!t.
391139
stay together for the kids, you don't need this kinda stress at this point in your life(preg) it could have detrimiental effects on the baby. There should be a waiting period for seperations like there is for buying handguns...you need a cooling off period
278313
Oh, honey! This man means you no good at all. You need to ask yourself, do I want my child to be raised up by this man who I know in my heart wishes that this child of mine was never born? You baby needs to be brought up in a Loving stable, and supporting environment. Always do what is best for your child, because they depend on you, and they are the ones that need you the most!! cut him loose. For the marriage thing, he could have had all of that taken care of by now if he really wanted to! Please believe me I went through something very similar! keep your head up, and raise your baby the right way with lots of Love! It will take a minute to get over him. It took me awhile, so I do know! Have him court ordered to pay support, that will help you out with medical bills, and all other things that your child needs! I wish you, and your child the very best!! You can do it!! I did!!
341710
Wake up honey.  If he wanted to be with you, he would have NEVER gotten his soon to be baby mama pregnant....he would have NEVER cheated on you.\n\nLooks to me like you're willing to settle for left overs and sloppy seconds.  You think you have problems now, just wait until that baby is born.\n\nDon't you think you deserve better?  Girl, kick him to the curb and move on with your life.  You don't need a looser like him in your corner.  Better to loose 2 years than 10 or 15 years in a bad relationship that's never going to go anywhere.  \n\nHe's made his decision.  He got another woman pregnant and is spending more time with her.  Now it's your turn to make a decision.  Cut him loose and move on girl!!
139824
For your sake and that of your children, move on. He obviously likes having the two relationships and that is not likely to change. The sooner you leave the sooner you and your children will heal. With all the lies this man has spun its amazing either of you are still with him. He has proven he has no intention of leaving. Don't waste more time on a relationship with no future. Find yourself a respectable man and live a happier life.
330029
Breaks are ok like this, logical and smart.  He's being very mature.  You not going to like how I say this, and I honesty don't know a better wait, so i'm sorry in advance.  But this is your warning from him if I'm reading what you wrote right, your behavor isn't acceptible to him and he's not going to put up with it.  If you can't control it, you might want to move on, save yourself the divorce later.  Hope you don't, sounds like you lucked up and got yourself a good guy.  Alot of girls would love to be in your shoe's.  Don't blow it.
250136
Any questions about custody should be asked to a lawyer. The 1st consultation w/ a lawyer is usually free. Your b/f can find out what his rights are at that time. I would also caution this ... Since you have been together for only 3 months, make sure he wants to move back only for his daughters and not for his ex g/f. Im surprised he got you pregnant after going thru what he is now. I wouldve been more careful or at least planned better. But thats a decision u two made and thats ok. Good luck in whatever he chooses and I do hope his lil girls get the daddy they deserve.
317920
Maybe you should continue to stay separated but start "dating" again and work on your issues. Having children in the relationship I feel it could be detrimental to them to have him continually coming and going into the home. I would continue being involved in your church, praying for him and your marriage and continue marriage counselling. If after a few months and giving it 100% there are still no changes in him/willingness from him to work on his issues then I would sit down and seriously contemplate if this situation is right for you and your children. But hopefully with prayer and God in your life you will see some changes. I definitely think baby steps is the way to approach this situation. God be with you.
91295
There is nothing you can do really. It is her decision. I feel for you. I'm in a similar situation myself. She has to keep things as pain free and natural as she can for the sake of her children. Maybe you should talk to her about this and possibly come to a decision yourselves???\n\nGood luck
216899
She is just feeling protective over her mother role.  She is their momma and she doesn't want you to try and fill her shoes or play mommy.  It is very delicate.  No matter what she did in her marriage doesn't matter.  Please be respectful not to push her about being around HER kids.  Respect the fact that she doesn't want you around them right now.  They shouldn't see you two together unless it is very serious.  I didn't introduce my daughter to her now step-dad until I was sure we were going to stay together.  They don't need to see different women in daddy's life.  You don't know how long you two will last just yet.  Give it time!!!!Don't tell her to back off or anything like that, you have no right to.  If you care at all about your b/f respect her wishes!!!  She'll come around if you do.  Don't make it worse, it is a delicate situation!!!  Why would you move in?  This isn't something that should be taken lightly.  Are you even engaged to him?  Like I said, the kids shouldn't see women in daddy's life unless it is serious enough as marriage is!  Sounds like you know you'll disrespect her wishes anyway!  Why ask then, if you are moving in?
299950
You're done?  Then be done and don't linger in the relationship. It sounds like he's willing to do what ever it takes to get back into your lives, but he won't continue.  Once he is comfortable you will revisit why you separated. Give yourself time to heal and keep moving in the direction you know will be better for you and your child.  There's nothing to celebrate except your freedom!
134710
why did you get married to her if you are getting a divorce four months later? that is just silly! i don't understand what the problem is or was. can you explain more? you should love your wife no matter what. and at least you have had sex more than i have and i have been married six months.we are still very happy and plan to keep it that way. you don't have to have sex to be happy. that is not all marriage is about.