About 7 months ago I cheated on the love of my life and it happened twice in which both times i was pressured into it. I didn't have sex... but he seems to think so. I love my boyfriend more than anything in this world. Can someone give me some advice on how to make sure it doesn't happen again or give me some advice on what i can do to have him trust me more. What can i do to make him believe me when I tell him that I won't do it again?? Please tell me what I should do... I'm so confused and worried... Thanks.
121137
I don't think so.\n\nYou seam like the type who is honest and are really confused by your own addmission. \n\nI think you guys will ok and that you will not cheat on him. You come off as being a very nice and and fun to be around sort of gal.
487786
Hello:\n\nOne of the hardest things I have ever had to realize is that loving someone isn't enough to make a relationship work. \n\nI was in a long term relationship with a guy, whom I was in love with. The only problem was that he was insanely jealous, and I am a little too trusting. He would assume I was cheating on him, if I had a conversation with a guy friend (a guy friend that I had been friends with long before I met my boyfriend). And if I saw him chatting with a random girl I would just assume they were chatting, and nothing more. I should also say that I have never cheated on a boyfriend, much less cheated on this guy. \n\nEventually he started to push the limits more and more when it came to making me jealous, so much so that he started making out with a girl at a party we had gone to together. Even though afterwards he told me that it didn't mean anything, but that he wanted me to feel jealous, it was too hurt to try to make the relationship work. \n\nWe had a long talk and learned that we had spent so much time trying to hurt each other, that we didn't have anytime to enjoy each other. Obviously our relationship was disfunctional, and I'm happy to say we are both in relationship and are successful and we are still friends with one another.\n\nThe relationship I have now is fantastic. But we still do have problems. The best thing I have done in this relationship is that we face issues head on. But we both know how we each deal with stress. When I am stressed I like to be left alone, where as he likes to be distracted and just take a break from it all. We are able to recognize when we are stressed, and how we can help the other one deal with the problem. \n\nI would suggest that you wait it out. You've been in a relationship that has been successful for so long. Wait until he has started school and starts feeling comfortable there. But be supportive and if he doesn't want to talk to you about his feelings - just let him know that you are there for him if he ever needs to talk or a distraction. \n\nI hope this helps and good luck!
73990
y did u do it? u don't trust him? if u don't trust him... y b together in the first place? a relationship would not last if both parties do not trust each other... talk it over with him. COMMUNICATION is the word! :)
89629
I wish I had the answer for you, all I can give is a little advice,Try if you love him try, To many relationships have been lost to the trust issue! I trusted my ex and she trusted me, I screwed up 1 time and my life was over, dont let others get involved they will screw it up for you!!!
141084
Tell him that you were deeply hurt by what he did and that it will take a very long time for him to earn your trust back. Tell him that you love him very deeply and you only want to love him more. Stop making cracks about it. It's pretty messed up. He probably feels horrible about lying (hopefully) and that will only make him hate himself more. BTW about it being a learning tool, don't believe that crock of bull. A previous *friend* that was a girl told me that she would teach me how to treat a girl right and all we did was make out, but I don't count that as a teaching tool, we straight up made out. I don't try to tell my fiancee' any story about it being a teaching lesson, I straight up told her: Before I was with you, I made out with another girl. I wasn't in love with her. I was infatuated with her. It was a crush and would have never become anything more. But that's about all you can do. Tell him to stop making excuses for his actions and that it will be harder for you to trust him in the future. He may never earn your trust back, but in the end, it's all up to you.\n\nHad something similair happen with my fiancee'. She lied about being raped. It really hurt me, probably more than your hurting right now. She earned my trust back, but i'm still very cautious!
244973
never trust the person who cheats and i don't think so his over with drugs... to tell you honestly he just say that to win you back and to gain you trust again. if a person loves you he'll do everything for you just to make you happy eventhough it will be too hard on his part but that guy your dating with, his really a jerk better dump him and you will find someone that will truly make you happy.
672706
Glad you can admit you're no good to him or any other good guys out there.  Break up with him, coz you're obviously not in love with him and you don't truly appreciate him, and it'll be better for him in the long run.  As for you,  I 'm not sure if you could ever find true love only because you may cheat on the next guy you're with.  I can only assume that you need a lot of attention, and ONE guy can't fully satisfy you.  Do him a favor, leave him...he doesn't deserve you.  Give him a chance to find someone who will love him and appreciate him.  If you're having seconds thoughts about being a whore, then hopefully it will be the last time he will forgive you.  For him not to move on from all this suggests that he has some sort of low self-esteem, AND you sleeping around just adds more to that.  Stop making him miserable, he deserves more than you.  Stop making yourself miserable by "feeling guilt".  If you truly feel this, you wouldn't have cheated on him again and again and again.  Once a cheater, always a cheater.  Good luck on finding the right guy, coz the next guy may not be as a doormat like this current one.  OR the next one will cheat on you too.  So take your pick, karma's a b**ch.  And as you've heard it, what goes around, comes around.  Also, I hope you didn't transfer any STDs to your so-called boyfriend(don't tell me he's just a friend).  You only have yourself to blame.
299251
I have been almost in the same predicument as you, but my husband cheated on me first after 18 years of marriage. We have two children and not only did this effect me, it also had a great impact on the children as well. I did kick him out of the house and after a couple of weeks he realized that he wanted me back and to have life back to normal. Well that does not happen over night. The trust was gone, I was insecure with my self and felt that things could never be the same again. We remained living in the same house, seperate rooms, and trying to mend what happened, then he got into a bad accident as well. The accident was so bad that after leaving the hospital after 6 weeks, I had to nurture and nurse him everyday for the next year. After a complete year of this I cheated on him. I believe that I did this to fullfill the hurt,anxiety,and the insecurity I had about my self. He found out the same way by tapping the phone of reason's of suspition and confronted me. I did tell him the truth about everything. At that time I also said to him "How does it feel to have it happen to you, now we are even". Well set aside Love does hurt, and we all can be cruel either mentally or physically. We react weird to these typs of circumstances. But happy to say it has now been 7 years after this has all happened, and our love never died, it took a great deal of time for the trust factor to regain itself. I'm not saying that the trust will fully every be regained, but as your relationship heals and your thoughts and feeling are open and honest with each other this is a start. Marriage to me now is more important than I ever realized, I want to grow old together. Everyone is differant but place value on your love and family, and take baby steps. If all else fells and things can't be reconciled then be good friends for your children and yourselves. Good Luck. Good things take time.
550638
Do you still love him?  If you do then I would say try again.  BUT, you need to have a serious conversation with him before you put yourself out there again.  Explain to him that you never cheated and you were offended when he just blindly believed a rumor instead of even asking your side.  This is your life and your decision, do you think he is worth your time?  Is he going to just believe anything anyone says about you?  He needs to realize that the 2 of you are the only ones in your relationship...  Hope everything works out good for you.
57278
i don’t cheat cheat my self if i am with you i am with you (i look but i never touch)\n\nAllot guys don’t have control their feelings enough so think before they act specially at a younger age, they don’t realize that their actions will hurt those they love but there are those who do it just because they are jerks and think they can get away with it.\n\nif he cheated on you and you forgave him he is most likely to do it again so be careful. if he cheats on you make him see how upset this makes you but don’t let him back in your life too easy make him show you he is worthy of you and that he wont cheat.\n\nwhat good is a relationship if is based on lies.
269372
How do you learn to trust again?\n\nSlowly, and cautiously. Use time to both heal your wounds, and give him opportunities to prove he is worthy of your trust. It's alot like that whole "first kiss" thing. No one can tell you when the right time is. Your heart has to let you know "Ok, it's fine", and that may or may not be right away. So you have to constantly ask yourself how you feel about it.
514766
you need to deal with your trust issues before you can move forward in any relationship, your jealousy and lack of trust will only bring the relationship down, talk to a professional about the issues you have and how to resolve them, not all men cheat and sometimes you have to have faith that you are with a good guy it may be hard given what has happened before but if you do what you plan such as the testing etc you could potentially drive a good guy away all based on your baggage from a previous relationship....
366118
Hi, I think the only way to really know is to look into your heart and go with what you are feeling.  If you cant trust your partner then maybe you shouldnt be with that person.  I know its hard, but until they give you a reason NOT to trust them, try to trust their word.  Its miserable when you dont trust your partner, so just believe they have been faithful until you find out differently.  You might find that they have been faithful all along.  Good luck to ya, Debi
195158
He made his decision long time ago. He cheated on you, let him prove that he wants to be wtih you. But what you should be asking yourself is can you get past his cheating and never bring it up can you forgive him and will you get past this and be in a healthy meaningful relationship. You owe it to yourself and to him.
42513
Okay, I know this is a bit much to read, but...I had a guy that cheated on me 5 times.  No, I didn't know about it until AFTER we broke up.  I didn't know what to do.  I ALMOST(really, REALLY considered) having sex with his sister's ex...which that was an on-again-off-again thing...but I didn't.  Then I thought about being friends with him again...that didn't work out 'cause he messed with my little brother and I thought about kicking some major butt but, again...didn't.  The reason why is really insane:  I still loved him at that point.  Don't ask me why because I don't know now.  Maybe I thought he'd come back crying(but he was the one that dumped me).  Karma hit him where it hurt quicker than I thought.\nApparently, one of the girls he cheated on me with got pregnant by him and wouldn't you know it...nine months later he was landed with the responsibility of fatherhood.  A few months after that, another girl got pregnant.  HA!  This was too good.  Anyways, after getting over the breakup(in a record time of a few weeks), I found this current guy that I've been with for 9 months and a few weeks.  KARMA ROCKS!  So, if you took Karma into your hands, that's great...even the threefold law works since he cheated once and you hit him 3 times as hard.  Buuuut....I think that if you went that far you might just be a little on the evil side(but who am I to judge, babe?).  Maybe you should post a pic of your cheater on the site I have listed...after all, there's too much girl power I can't resist.
149055
most guys are the type that if they do it once they'll probably do it again. but if they do it again, then thats how they'll always be. if you love this guy for real, sit down and talk wit him. Tell him that you love him SO much, and that you really want to be with him for a long time, but you can't do it if he's gonna cheat on you. Then keep an eye on him for urself. k?
93902
I guess this happens in alot of marriages!From what I have been reading.It has happened in mine,also!And now My husband and I can talk openly about it,even joke about it!But that takes time.As long as you love him.And he loves you!That is all that matters!The past is the past,hun.Let it be that.I know it's hard!And I know you'll think about it.But in time,the hurt will get less.And your trust will grow back in time,too!I always tell my husband,that I have forgiven him BUT I will Never forget.And he reminds me about what I have done.But we don't argue about it any longer.Because,it has been a while.And time heals.I know that cheating isn't right.But sometimes when you get together real young it's really hard to stay faithful.There is ALOT of temptations out there.And it takes two.Also,NoOne is perfect.And then some people say once a cheater always a cheater,but I do Not believe this either.Because we may have made mistakes in our past.But I feel that both my husband and I have learned from them.And it will never happen again.It sounds as though,your hubby and you have learned from yours too!Good-Luck to both of you!