Ok, this is going to be long, so I hope you are all ready for it. My fiance and I went through a lot our first 6 months together, because of me though. See, I would always threaten to leave him, because I was stupid. I never meant to do it, it always just came out, and I did it SO much, and in his words I "put him through hell". Well it turned around on me, and he told me he has changed because of me, and he threatened to leave me a few times, and almost did for sure once. Well he told me he loves me, so he couldnt. Well he is more angry now, and he tells me I am not like I was when he was first with me. He said I am more stupid, and I am irritating and annoying, well we recently found out that I am 3 months pregnant, and us having a baby still isnt changing anything. He still gets mad at everything, yells at me, and puts me down. I dont do anything I used to do at all, but he said because of the past is why he is like this. I love him, but I dont know what to do to make it all better!
137896
You can tell by what you are saying that he loves you. Why did you always break up with him? Saying because you were dumb is not a good reason, you must have an actual reason. Maybe in your eyes you have changed, but in his you havent. Maybe if you two could talk about it and everythime you do something that he doesnt like he could tell you. If you two talk it out maybe he will stop doing what he is doing. Was he like that before you met him? If not I do not agree with the person who said he will be abusive to the baby. If he was like that before than maybe he might be. Just because you are pregnant doesnt mean things will get better. It is a two way street and both of you have to try and make things work. If one of yall is trying and the other isnt then it does no good. You both have to be on the same wave lenght on things so things will go smooth and fix in time. I hope that this answers your questions.
667623
no sure how long you two have been dating, but beware.  Guys who usually rush into marriage thinking should send up warning flags.  I was in a relationship that moved like that one, and he was very emotionally abusive, and would most likely have been physically abusive if we had gotten married.
173272
It seems to me that he is far from ready for the responsibility of partner hood and parenthood. His respect level for you seems very low in light of his degradation of you and not support. He may be insecure and refocusing this toward you, however his immaturity is stopping him from seeing that he is making you feel insecure also and more to the point, he is destroying your self esteem and worth and ruining what should be the most amazing experience of your life. I know this isn't what you will be wanting to hear, but I honestly cant see this getting any better in the near future. Perhaps you could talk to his parents and solicit, for want of a better word, their advice and support.Not to mention that of your on. No-one can tell you whether to stay or leave, in the end you will do what you will do and I realise you love him. But you must always remember to love yourself and make that precious baby you are carrying your first priority. I feel sad for you. No-one should be having that kind of stress at this or any really, stage of your pregnancy. But if he is like this now maybe you need to ask how much worse it's going to be or get when baby gets here and whether you want to wait to find out. I hope you find a solution that enables you to be happy and content.Good Luck.
571427
listen to your heart.\nmy now fiance cheated and got her prgnant and we are getting married and i know how twisted that sounds without going into detail but i di a lot of soul searching so to speak and i just couldnt give up on us. yes you have every right to be angry and you will forgive him in time if you so choose to but take it slow and figure out what it is you want. sounds to me like you really love him and dont want to give up but i don't want to go into  to much detail about my life but i do know what you are going through and you can e-mail me at crazybearnluv69@aol.com if you want and i can better explain.
278210
Sounds like he just wanted an excuse to leave. Sorry if that sounds harsh, but its the vibe I get from your description. Try to move on and find someone who will love you and be honest with you. Best of Luck.
233187
This guy has the attitude many abusive people have, dump him now before it gets worse and he starts hitting you.\nIt doesn't matter how much you think you love him, you have to love yourself more.\nWhat if you eventually had kids with this man do you think he would be happy for the baby to have all your attention ? he'd get mad and possibly hurt the baby\n\nDump him
242222
I found myself in a similar situation with my fiance.  I couldn't make him quit. Lucky for me, he chose to.  I didn't want to leave mine either but if he didn't quit, I was going to.  It was dragging me down.  I can say this, I had to be supportive and quit with him.  I didn't want to because I felt like I was responsible with it and he had the problem.  But, I see a counselor and talk to my mom a lot and they both felt that it was something that was right for me to do.  When I thought of it the other way around, what if it was me that needed to quit, I would want him to do it for me so I did it for him.  But, he still didn't quit for me or because of me and my quitting wasn't any part of it.  He quit because he chose to because he knew he needed to.  We talked a lot.  I told him how I felt.  But, he did it for himself.  People don't change permanently for anyone but themselves.  Yours will have to quit for himself and if he doesn't want to or chooses not to, you have to decide if you will stay or go.  Don't give him ultimatums either cuz that doesn't work and the only thing worse than him not quitting is him saying he will do it for you and then be sneaking around behind your back and he will if he says he will quit for you.  Just accept that you have no control.  You can talk to him but expect nothing and don't try to force.  Make your decision for you based on what he decides for himself.  Good luck and God Bless!
234960
You are breaking my heart.  I don't know whether to believe you or not.  If you are being honest, then you have some real issue to deal with.  The main issue is your pregnancy.  The minute you became pregnant, it stopped being about you.  Go to an adult, figure out what you are going to do, and do it.  You no longer have the luxury of being young and stupid.
440241
Maybe you two should seek couple's counseling.  His anger is alarming.  It could escalate into something worse.  Do yourself a favor, and try to get help for this.  He should not explode like that and say those hurtful things.
452005
Absolutely not. He has called off the engagement three times...honey, he doesn't love you. I'm sorry to be so harsh, but someone needs to tell you. If you have his baby, he will dump you and you will end up raising this child all alone and that is not fair to the child.
350066
He's a bully. If you stay with him, get used to a life of walking on egg shells. I bet he was "sorry" later and tried to tell you he didn't know what made him do it, or said you "made" him do it.  It's not a mood swing, it's a precursor to more verbal and emotional abuse.
596407
He understands perfectly.  He is just trying to get you to change your mind.  Stand your ground, you are doing the right thing.  Tell him you are engaged, very much in love and respect your fiance.  Do you know his wife?  Tell him you will ask her opinion of his proposition.  If all people had your attitude, there wouldn't be anyone to cheat with. I applaud you.  Best wishes on your upcoming wedding.
285529
I know it's scary, but if you are pregnant, the baby isn't just going to go away because you didnt take a pregnancy test, right? you either are or arent, and it would be best for you if you just bite the bullet and find out.  As far as this guy goes, if you've been seeing him for a year, and he still hasn't ended his marriage, chances are that he's not going to leave her, and he's just stringing you along. As much as it would hurt, and easier said than done, it might be best to end the relationship. Maybe you should go to a therapist about it.  It won't hurt, and you can get some different views on the situation and some advice on how to solve it.  good luck.
310842
Okay, dude treated you like crap.  He destroyed all your self-confidence and left you feeling really low about yourself.  Him treating you like crap only when you were hanging out with your friends is not a minor thing.  That is a sign of a controlling, possessive person who wants to cut you off from your friends (support group) and have you depend on him for friendship and support.  That is not healthy.  \nThe fact that your dad made you break up with this guy is probably the catalyst in this situation.  You needed to make that decision on your own.  That power was taken from you.  You needed to realize on your own that this dude was NO GOOD and you wanted more and deserved better than you were getting.  \n\nI am speaking from experience.  I was in a similar situation- dating a guy who treated me like crap, my family and friends hated him and kept telling me that I deserved better but that made me want to stay with him even more.  I even moved 2 hours away from everything (family, friends, home) with him.  It lasted about a year and a half even though I was miserable the entire time.  I didn't think it would do any good to break up with him- he'd just come after me and we'd end up back together.  I didn't have a good enough reason to get away from him.  I had created a whole new life for myself with him, and breaking up with him meant giving all that up.  The only thing that made me come to my senses was getting pregnant.  It gave me a whole new perspective of my "new life" and the way I was living.  I came to realize that I did not want to raise my baby in that kind of environment around that type of person.  It gave me the strength to leave him and completely cut myself off from that life and move back to my hometown.\n\nIt might help to think about things from that perspective- if you did get pregnant, would you want this guy to be your baby's daddy?  Is that the life you would want for your child?  Is that the kind of environment you would want to raise a child in?  \n\nDo some soul-searching.  I highly recommend keeping a journal, it helps to sort through the tangle of thoughts, feelings and emotions connected with relationships of any kind.  Write it all out and then re-read it.  Even if you have to burn it afterwards to keep someone else from reading it-what you write may actually surprise you.  And remember:  You DO deserve better!  You are a good person who deserves to be treated in a good way.  Right?
384303
He cant decide himself. It seems he dont really love you. But he want to keep it warm. It seems also that you cant be consequent. This leads to an neverending vicious circle. In my opinion (please ask very lot people and compare) you should quit definitively. Cause your "lover" knew he can do what he wants you will take him back any time. It is also your fault. You let him do this. Dont let you sell at less than fair value. Tell him that you are not his baby anymore and make yourself scarce. Or bether forget him. There are other mothers with nice sons. Because he will not change. He will also not notice your value. And you will also not learn to be consequent so fast.\nSorry about my englisch hope you can read it.
186859
He might be a little nervous because of the baby and upcoming marriage.  I personally think he should stay with you, but if he feels he needs to go the states, don't marry him.  He is making a choice for a life that may or may not include you.
279084
HE DOESN'T LOVE YOU!!!!!!   and there is nothing wrong with you!!!!  I'm sorry if this will hit you hard, but from what you are saying something is definetly wrong with this guy, and he is just using you!!   If he is telling you to get away, then you may need to make some Big changes with yourself and your baby