my husband of just one year left me when i was carring ar child.he was off working in another state he was acting just fin and then called me and wanted a divorce then he changed his mind and told me he loved me with all his heart and would do anything for me.then when he came back he movied in with his parents and then started hanging around his friend that he grow up with.the called agine and told me we needed to talk about the babie.i didn't show up becuase i wasn't going over to his parents house so they could jump in to.then 2 weeks later his friend called and told me that he was at the bar with this bar tender that he was just messing around with.i went up there and asked him what the prob was and he told me he wasn't with that girl and see knew we where married.she didn't though becuase that guy that called me told me she didn't know becuase he told her that we where just going out and he left.but he would lie to me and tell me they wasn't together and then served divorce papers
131798
He was  not mature enough for marriage and now you have to cut your losses and make a better decision with the next guy. There are always signs when a man is not mature enough for marriage and you just didn't pick up on them until it was to late. Once he got married he felt trapped and like he had not fully lived his life. Eventually he will be ready mentally and emotionally to settle down but by then you might already have someone else. Marriage is a big step and he took it tooooo lightly.
36297
He married you. That is a pretty strong commitment. If he thought there was any hope of getting back with his ex he wouldn't have taken that step with you.
642982
I am now divorced to my hubby of 3 1/2 years. (We were together 7 years total). He was cheating on me with my cousin. We have been divorced for over a year now, and at least once a day I think of him. A song on the radio will remind me of him, I will pass a chopper and want to call him to tell him about it (we were bikers), or even something funny will happen and I think, "OMG, my ex would get a kick out of this".\n\nSince the divorce I moved out on my own . I am single because I am still not healed from the hurt he and my cousin caused (they are getting married next month supposedly).  He was my first love, and my best friend. He understood me like no one else- I would not even have to say a word and he would know my thoughts- I miss that. It intriques me that he knew me so well and I have yet to find someone like that- He made me laugh, he was spontaneous and made life exciting. I was pretty anal about things and he took that tendency right out of me.\n\nIf I had the chance I would let him say he missed me- I would let him say he made the mistake (hear say thru friends he has said this to them) and then, I would have some closure and I would know he made the mistakes, not me-
152697
well fist off he may have realized what he did to his wife was wrong. that should have been enough to send him running from your cheating ass! you both are dirty rotten cheating ass*holes. your spouses are to good for you guys. go home and treat the man you married better.
138228
it's really suspicious that he got with her two days after your affair? sounds like something was going on before then and he was just waiting for you to mess up to set you up and make you look like the bad one for court people are vicious when there about to go to court and these two are so divorce happy it sounds like a plot to me  you were the one trying to go to therapy and do all you could for the mariage while he didn't care hmm wonder was he seeing her then probably. or are you the martyr type and you want to find a reason to blame yourself for his affair because he has always blamed you for his behavior so you now take on that role by yourself don't feel guilty honey only feel guilty you didn't get rid of him sooner those two will self destruct don't worry and if they don't you won't care you'll be to busy with  your new husband that you won't need to beg to go to marriage conseling because you'll have a good marriage by then even though you did wrong God can forgive you God probably respects you for trying to do everything to save it sounds like he never tryed he checked out before you did he'll pay for that one day while your rewarded one person can't make a marriage work so it's not your fault he wasn't willing to go to conseling or probably do anything and trust me about my prediction thats what happen to me it can happen for you the worst is behind you Godbless.
543560
I'm sorry to say that he did, in fact, use you.  You were the girl he used to get over his ex.  You were the one who came in handy for the sex and talk.  Now he is doing better and the divorce is closer.  He will be looking around for someone different.  No, he did not get scared because he liked you.  He is now mentally ready to go out and chase other women.  I hate to be rude, but he simply was using you as a diversion from his failed marriage.
330029
Breaks are ok like this, logical and smart.  He's being very mature.  You not going to like how I say this, and I honesty don't know a better wait, so i'm sorry in advance.  But this is your warning from him if I'm reading what you wrote right, your behavor isn't acceptible to him and he's not going to put up with it.  If you can't control it, you might want to move on, save yourself the divorce later.  Hope you don't, sounds like you lucked up and got yourself a good guy.  Alot of girls would love to be in your shoe's.  Don't blow it.
47635
there is more going on there than you think if it stays this way for while you need to let it go. because if he really wanted you and loves you he wouldnt be treating you like that. i would try to give your best shot and if nothing works i would leave and try to start your life over. if by chance your leaving scares him silly and he changes his ways then i would search your heart and see if you really want him back.
570565
He had a baby with another girl while he was still with you? Why are you fretting over this guy - you should be glad to be rid of this jerk! I still have to deal with my ex-husband because we have a 10 yr. old together, and we each have 50% custody. But I look at it this way - my ex (a big jerk) has re-married. Now his new wife is stuck with him (and I'm not!). I am re-married to a wonderful man - I definitely got the better deal here! And like someone said earlier - living well is the best revenge. Be glad that he is gone and that she is stuck with him - someone better will come along.
270491
been there husband was the same way...I was 15 when we were together and I slept with his best friend...we went our separate ways for about 10 years got back together and did not trust me at all..I was only 15 and he kept bringing it up 17 years later. He would get really upset if I wanted to go out with my friends, and alcohol was like poison to him he would always go back into the past about all the bullshit and he would start fights over the stupidist things...any way to make a long story short I divorced him in january
244760
I am so sorry about your PPD.  It's rough.  Do not, for one instant, allow yourself to think that you are at fault.  When something happens to one of you, it happens to both.  You are supposed to be "ONE".  He abandoned you in your time of need - he should have backed you up and been there.  He wasn't.  He went for the easy out and that's not what you deserve.  I don't want to get all religious on you, but here goes:  A man is supposed to treat his bride (his wife) like Christ treats His church.  Do you feel that you were given that?  Is he true to his vows or is he just out for himself?  I would suggest that you get therapy - either with or without him.  Preferably with.  But I know that it's not also possible with finances and insurance these days.  But sometimes you can find someone to help you sort it all out that won't cost an arm and a leg. \n\nJust think about this:  Your son/daughter will see how you are treated.  They will probably (not always) go on to treat their spouse the same way.  Do you want to continue this cycle or break it?  Do you want better for your child?\n\nI am so sorry that you had to go through PPD and had to do it alone - because face it...you were deserted.  \n\nAn affair is an affair is an affair- whether emotional or physical.  The time and consideration he gave this other woman should have gone to you in your time of need.
103304
First marriage I knew him several years, then I dated him for about a year, then he proposed. HE cheated 3 months after we were married (maybe sooner) and continued to cheat for 3 years before I gave him the boot...It took a year to get the divorce back then...I would have left him sooner, but my family kept saying things would get better. After he gave me an STD (thank God it was something that could be cured), I divorced him! Stupid that I stayed with him for so long, it was like gambling with my life! I was miserable and I really began to hate him and the sight of him. In the end he beat me up and I made sure it the divorce was as nasty as I could make it.\n\nThen 14 years later I met a nice man on the Internet, I had said I would never get married again. Never say never...we "dated" online for about a year, (this was back in 1995-1996, we had a private chat program called PowWow, and we chatted EVERY night, then talked on the phone to say "goodnight". \n\nHe was in the Northern US, and I was in the South. He proposed online, sent me a picture of the rings and asked me if I would consider moving up North to share his life, and be his wife and partner. I said "Yes".\n\nIn November, we will have been married for 10 years, and aside from some health difficulties, it's been a very good marriage! He's my best friend, and we did not even have to go through a bunch of head games while dating. I was honest with him when we chatted, and I feel that he has always been honest with me. I was on the high side of my 30s and he was about 5 years older than me. \n\nIt really freaked my friends out, when I suddenly dropped out of my usual routines to spend time chatting with my online boyfriend.  All of my friends said that I was crazy, he might be an ax murderer, and all kinds of wild things!  When he came down South, we met, and the very next day we eloped! VERY ROMANTIC, and I remember when I signed the marriage license my hand was shaking and so was his! \n\nWe both took a BIG leap of faith, and I feel like God blessed us! Things could have turned out so differently! I say it depends on the people in the relationship and what they want in life, and what they may have experienced in the past. I met some real nice men between husband #1 and my husband now. I just was not ready to trust my heart to anyone else so completely. Two of them proposed to me, but I eventually broke off the relationships because I had issues with trusting them. A cheating spouse can make a person very suspicious and cause them to sabatage future relationships because they are suspicious. After my experiences, I say, I believe in love. I have learned that there are some good loyal and truthful men in this world, and you never know when you may meet the right man for you!\n\nIf it's worth having, give it time. I would have continued the Internet relationship longer if things had not developed as they did. I think I knew that he was a "keeper", and if he had waited longer to propose, I would have waited for him. Don't ask me how, but I fell in love with a man that I could not even touch! We typed so much that I typed the letters off of two keyboards. :D\n\nGood luck, and may God bless you and your future too!\nruthie~
423834
Sounds like you need space for yourself. Dump the husband since he isn't working with the reconciliation. Then give your self space. Don't let this other guy enter your life too quickly, sounds like he did just that when you were separated. When you are stable from the finalized divorce, then look at your prospects.
341730
he's acting like that because you are going to be divorced soon and I bet he is married.... just from the way he is reacting, so move on dear - and give yourself time to heal completely before trying to get into another relationship. (you have to resolve all the issues that lead to your failed marriage - if you don't you'll drag that old baggage into another relationship.) If there was anything there you two would of met in person.... you talked for a long time without meeting and that should of told you something about him. (I've only met one man online who wasn't married and he was honest with me about his personal life and that's the man I'm married to! We talked for about 2 months and then we met in person - he helped me with coming to Canada to meet him.... and we "clicked" - and got married 3 months later! We have been married for 4 yrs. as of Sept.28th).... While I was single and chatting with men online for years --- they all turned out to be married or living with someone(with whom they had kids with).
407363
Well, he left you five weeks ago and he is married now. Its none of your business what his wife thinks, or whether or not they are going to be happy together. Sorry, just being honest.\n-NmD!
159570
my fiance' was married when i met him at work.his wife and him had been having issues with her cheating and she did not want kids and he did.he told me about 2 weeks after we met that he did not love his wife anymore.i never thought about getting involved with him until right before he seperated from his wife(a month and 1/2 after we met)he told me he loved me.i felt the same for him but i did not want to get in the middle of his marriage.he convinced me to be with him and i'm glad i did,he is the love of my life and says i am his
282068
youve only been going out for 3-4months over the phone i don no how long youve spent together not on the phone but its to soon. take it from my personal experience i was asked to marry someone after a week of noing him and he told me he wanted me to move with him it scared the crap out of me but i stayed with him. we had a long distant relationship for about ten months when three of them i heard nothing from him. he was in the army he left the army and about five months after spending time with him i feel pregnant i didnt no the true him until i feel pregnant cause he totally changed. i someone was to tell me that agian id tell them to go and get help. my daughter has never met er father and shes two and a half and will never get to meet him cause he was recently killed in a car accident.\n\nbut if its meant to be it will be but take it slow im not going to judge maybe she just wanted to see what your plans of a family are if it starts getting serious