How can a person trust a man if they have been beated and abused mentally and they cheated on you all the time,I get scared when my b/f rasies his voice at me..I don't trust him to leave thanking he will cheat on me and when he is on internet he is looking to fine a woman on adult friend finder but he does not know i know that he is looking on there..so help me tell me what u all think i  should do ,he has never hit me at all
130407
being abused in any way shape or form is always a difficult thing to get through.\nIt took me a long time before i got help, but do you know what? when i did, i came out thinking, "well that was a waste of time, it didn't change anything."\nThe secret is keep going.......and do go, make that decision, make that choice to take charge of those feelings.\nNo they will never be forgotten, and yes you might get upset sometimes, but at least one day you will be able talk about it with out crying or getting angry. Talking to someone on a regular basis, is the best way to get over your fears. Talk about this with your boyfriend, tell him that you need to talk with someone, if he loves you he will understand. Good luck, it does get better, but you have to make the first move, and don't give up.
27737
I have a girlfriend, and I've felt like "jumping" (lol) someone before because they're being a pain and flirting with my gf or whatever... Anyways, from personal experience I would say he DOES trust you... But that guy's intruding into your relationship so he has to "protect" that... It's kinda hard to explain but I think he does trust you, it's just natural to get jealous and want to do something about it... (not that I recommend he jumps this guy lol)
549141
Understand that he will never trust you.  I was home with two kids and pregnant and being accused of having an affair.  Pleeeeaaaassssseeeee!  He probably doesn't trust you because he is guilty or because someone before you ruined him.  Personally, If this was me, I would take the out he has given me.  I wonder if he trusted you to begin with.\n\nI would leave, get pro-active, pilates, buy a new dress and get a new man!  One who isnt' abusive and a cheater!
183835
Is it that you don't trust him or you don't trust anyone? If it is just him, then whether you are right or wrong, move on. Without trust, it's doomed. If you have a problem with trust period, then you might as well stay with him and try working on your issues. Otherwise you (not anyone else) will prevent you from ever being happy with anyone.
587671
What makes you think he is cheating?  If you can't trust him, how can you have a good relationship?  A relationship that lasts has a lot of trust and honesty between the two people.  You have to ask yourself why do you think that he would be cheating?  Though, past experiences could cause you to think that way.  You should always give them the benefit of the doubt.  Plus, an hour away isn't too far. =)
37019
May be try to be more open with him? Offer to share information and anticipate his questions by providing the answers outright.  If this doesn't work, then consider that fact that he may be jealous and paranoid and that whatever you do (or don't do) won't matter because it will be his version of events that he will see. Next step, I guess, would be to find out for yourself if you can have a long term relationship with your man knowing that he doesn't trust you.  \n\nGood luck!
402932
Trust is earned, never freely given.\n\nBeing burned a few times myself has made me very cautious about who I trust, but relationships are built on trust.  So, what does one do?\n\nWell, it is a kind of process, I have found.  One only metes out trust a little at a time, starting at "friendly."  From there on, it is a gradual process where one observes what they say and do to see if the two match.  After a while, one learns to trust the other when it is shown that they are trustworthy.\n\nBe friendly, mete out your trust a little at a time, and always be observant and pay attention to any "red flags" about the guys behavior.\n\nOne admonition: the road goes two ways.  Be a person who is fair, honest, and trustworthy yourself.  He'll probably be watching you as well!\n\nGood luck!
39387
Sounds like the two of you don't trust each other and don't trust yourselves. When I was young, I was terribly jealous because my self-esteen was low. I didn't seem to believe that I was worth loving, so I would cling too tightly to boyfriends and friends. Thankfully, I matured and realized how foolish it is to be jealous.\n\nIf you love and trust your boyfriend and if you're not just hanging onto him because you don't believe that you are worth loving, then let him go with his friends, even if the ex is there. \n\nIf he does do anything to destroy your trust, then he's not worth being with anyway. Find someone else who is. The reverse is true for you as well. You aren't looking to cheat on your boyfriend, right? Then he needs to trust you, too. If you do cheat on him, then that's not fair to him. He is deserving of someone trustworthy, too.\n\nJealousy can destroy relationships. I've seen it happen. Lighten up on each other. See where your trust can take you.
646494
Trust is not a set in concrete thing. Just because someone is having trouble trusting you can come from many factors, including being hurt very badly in the past. Although it would not be your fault, you must still understand that trust doesn't come as easy for this person as maybe it might to another. What your decision must be is to decide how much you want to prove to him you can be trusted and how long you will do that patiently. If some of his friends are lying on you, it is his friends that are so the problem, and after explaining all to him and he can't see that, maybe he is not mature enough to handle a relationship. Men are more like little boys when they have to use their peeps to analyze their love life.
225927
Confront him with your insecurities. But don't go about it in an accusing manner. Rather, ask if everything is right between you two. Trust is everything in a relationship. If there are more signs that come up, then I would definitely look into it. But insecurities from your part needs to come to a resolution of if you do trust him or if you don't.  If there is real proof he is cheating on you then confront the issue. If not, let it be. Showing your lack of trust in him can be hurtful especially if he's been loyal to you all along.
104125
you boyfriend thinks you don't trust him.why? in this situation i think there is really nothing you can do but listen to him like when he has a problem just listen to what he has to say and tell him what you think about the situation maybe sense he is talking to you about his problems and your giving him a response he will soon trust you more
362720
This is his issue, he needs to resolve this one himself...He needs to know tho, that not everyone is the same.  Because he was cheated on before doesn't mean it will happen again.  What you need to do is move on, as hard as it may seem at the present moment, in the long run it will be fore the better.  Just know this is not you, its him and don't wait, he will come back with the same issues.  \nI was in the military and i have seen oh so many times relationships end because of one or the other cheating and heck how do you know he wont cheat? it works both ways...If he really truly loves you maybe you can work things out but, know this trust is number one in a healthy relationship, no trust, no relationship....He really needs to fix himself before getting involved with anyone....
356542
If there's no trust in the relationship- then you need to examine why you're in the relationship.  It doesn't matter what you do, follow him, check up on him, call him a dozen times to make sure he's where he says he is- If he really wants to cheat, he's going to, and all you're going to do is drive yourself crazy, and drive him away.  Either take a deep breath, and decide you're going to trust him- and then DO IT; or get out of the relationship now.  If you don't have trust- you don't have anything anyway- why sit around and wait for the relationship to get worse by driving each other crazy over what you THINK he MIGHT be doing?  Take a good look at things and decide if you're REALLY getting what you want out of this relationship.  Good luck.
331973
Run.. Run away. Ask yourself.. Will you ever be able to trust him? Ever? \n\n-HtJ
206015
Ok sweetie, obviously he is protecting himself from being hurt again by being in a relationship with you but not.  This may be a fine distinction and completely without merit.  And it is, I would say just give him some time if you like him, but I would expect that he should treat you with the dignity and respect that you deserve.  I would not settle for anything less if I were you. And if he can't trust me there is sombody out there who will love you for who you are, and will treat you the way you deserve.  Good luck sweetie and I hope this helps.
379728
Angel is right, if you don't have trust for the man then there no salvageable relationship. Give him space, let him go to make his own decision. If he comes back to you then it's meant to be. But just make sure he's not going back and forth between the two of you.
172994
If he's convinced that you've been cheating on him and can't be persuaded otherwise, then he has trust issues. If he doesn't trust you, how strong is your relationship? \nAnd do you really know what he's thinking? You sound humiliated, and what you really need is a heart-to-heart with your boyfriend. So many problems can be sorted by talking openly and honestly. If you love him, then you have to be able to come to him with your problems. If you're not comfortable and instead would rather ask random people online to help you with relationship issues, then what does this say about the strength of your relationship?