But he doesn't want me to get a job until we move what can I do about this situation please give me some advice.
132596
if you want a job then you should get one. being in a relationship doesnt meaning losing your independance. explain that you want a job and that you can get another one when you move. some guys dont want girls to get work because it keeps them dependant on them. i wouldnt advise this for you. go out and get yourself a job if you want to do that.
96957
Not a very easy question.  Unfortunately, I don't know what his reasons are for now wanting to move.  Obviously having a job could be a big deal.  Moving is a huge thing and it isn't just as easy as saying that is where I want to be.  There is a lot to consider.  I think he should care enough to talk to you about it and let you know his feelings and reasons.  As for advice, well you have to decide if you want to move or if you want a divorce if he won't listen to you.
420653
you need to get a lawyer, try legal aid they may be able to help you as long as you are in there income guidelines, he can stop you from being able to move and this will probably affect the current visitation agreement you two have. It will probably come to one having the child during the school year and one during the summer, also alternating holidays. that is if that's what he goes for, he could also go for total custody. Before you move you need to get the courts permission or else you can be charged for this. Be careful, it sounds like you may have a fight on your hands, don't let the thought of you wanting to move in with your current boyfriend, make you lose your child, do everything the legal way so you are all legal and still retain custody.
298784
this is not something simple. i've been through something similar to what you are talking about and got stuck in a 5 years relation just because i was afraid of leaving. By time he might get more and more agressive and possesive. My advice is to leave now and not to postpone but you should also learn how to stand up to what you think is right and where your benifit is. you should not leave your job because he's there, ignore him and if he does not like it then let him leave the job not you.... My heart is with you take good care
52650
First of all you need to decide how long your going to support him? If he's not trying to better himself and your marriage then it's time to talk. Now days a couple can't make it on one income. I feel if your working he needs to take care of home. When did you become the maid? If he knew ahead of time you where moving he could of prepared better.
344165
people make choices in life. you are not willing to move in which means that you are not that committed to him and his situation. social services could help him. notify him to call social services.
649570
dont confront.. just a job, no need to go crazy about it.. try to find another job!
268813
Start looking for a new job. Slowly he'll end up messing up with you personal life and it's a matter of time till you loose your nerve.
370116
the only problem with moving is that whatever is inside of you goes with you too.  if you don't change on the inside, where you are living won't matter much.\n\nif you are getting tons of interviews then you are doing something right.  if you aren't getting any offers then you are doing something wrong.  it's probably your back up against the wall kind of desperation leaking through.\n\ndon't give off a desperate vibe in interviews.  before you go in, keep repeating to yourself "they would be lucky to have me" like you mean it over and over again until the second you shake their hand.  it sounds kind of stupid but it works.  it changes your vibe from "oh please god please have them hire me" kind of desperation to "damn! we would be lucky to have her here! let's make her an offer before someone else does."\n\nalways send a thank you note after an interview.  i can't tell you how many times i have had a toss-up between two or three people and the thank you note sealed the deal.  there is no substitute for good manners, and i know if i have a well-mannered staff i won't have all that office trauma & drama going on.\n\nonce you get a job and have income a lot of your troubles will disolve.  you will be able to move and after you do you will need to sit down and take a long hard look at yourself and your life.  then you can decide what you really want out of life and can work towards getting it.
449102
Just move out!  \n\nGood Luck!
151161
Well, is there anyway of compromise? Is the distance between the place of his new job in september and your stable job place too great to commute from a place that's in between the two places?  \n\nIf it is commutable distance for you two, then I suggest that you and your husband staying in a rental home or a reasonably priced apartment that's nearer to your two job places and renting your new house or keeping it for your selves for later.  After all, being so far apart from your husband seems to hurt your relationship with him to the point that it might lead to a bigger issue in future (like god forbid, a divorce).  Communication and intimacy are important keys in a relationship; without them, a person can lose many things in life that he/she might regret later.\n\nHowever, if the distance seems to be too great, then you can stay in your new home by yourself while your husband again goes to the job place and works but I would like to suggest that you two take many oppurtunities that you can to make up for the lessened communication and intimacy in your lives by visiting in the weekends or monthly (whatever suits your schedules).\n\nWhile stable jobs are important to life, a stable relationship is also important to life.  It's up to you two to calmly figure out the balance between the supporting your relationship while having jobs so that both will be happy in the end instead of being frustrated about not understanding the different levels of importance the two of you give to the relationship and work.  After all, you two are individuals and as such you two have different ideas and beliefs over what's important to each of your lives.  To find out the differences and to understand and respect eachother's ideas and beliefs, please do talk seriously about it so that you two can better balance between your relationship and works.\n\nGood luck!
191190
explain to him that you need space and time to think about things going on in your life. if he really cares he will back off and if that don't work end it.
468258
If I was You!!!! I couldnt deal w/ it. But I guess you already made a decision and U will let him stay until he finds a place to go. But the point here is, how long  it is gonna take for him to find the place? if you R paying for rent and bills is he helping U out??? if he is not I think it will take longer for him to go. Plus if you guys are in good conditions now (as friends) why ruin it??? tell him to move to one of his friend's house because if U guys R not 2gether anymore and U are looking @ him @ your house everyday, doing the same things as a couple but w/out "rights" that is not helping U @ all. I can tell just by your writing that U still care for him a lot, but if it is over, IT IS OVER,  as he is moving out of your life he has to move out of your house. For his b-day you can buy him something (if you havent done it yet) but something simple for U not to feel bad about, but no cake, no party, no special dinner 'cause you dont have to. \n\nGood luck and dont think about him anymore, just think about U and how it will affect you to have him in your house longer, he will soon start dating and U will find that horrible. \n\nHE HAS TO GO NOW!!!!
649603
Tell him the truth. You are not moving at the same speed as him. If he cannot handle it, drop him. There will be someone else that will come along that WILL wait and move at a speed that BOTH of you can agree with.
456035
I restraining order works rather well, and so does relocation. He may become dangerous and may try to hurt you. I would definitely seek the help of the authorities. Talk to a policeman and see what they can do or what you should do. Keep friends and family around whenever possible. Do not go anywhere by yourself.
632982
I agree with the previous advice of discussing a possible misunderstanding with him.  Tell him you didn't understand that he wanted you to do this, but now that you do, ask him what you can do to help resolve the situation now.  Once this particular problem is handled, then ask him what you can do to make communication clearer between the two of you; as part of that discussion you can diplomatically point out to him that, perhaps, putting expectations in writing in the future might be helpful to you both.  If these things don't work and he insists on making it an issue at review time, or holding it against you during salary administration, then (and only then) get HR involved.
175145
Keep your job for now and explore other opportunities that you may be interested in that pay better. If you find something you like that will support you better apply and, if you get it, quit where you are now. Improve your status little by little and sooner or later you'll be comfortably living