This is for the reason that my family don't want her back in my life again... This is because 2 months ago, during me and my fiance are in a cool-off situation, I caught her going out another guy who really likes her so much, but that guy is married... I almost killed myself because of this and I was hospitalized... After 1 week, we had the chance to see each other again, and when we talked, I really saw her sincerity when she said sorry and promised not to do it again... We decided to continue our relationship secretly from my family because they were really mad at her... I decided to forgive her because I love her so much and I have faith in her that she will really change herself... And I also forgive her because I believe that all people deserves a second chance for them to change... I really love her so much and she feels the same way too but we have a hard time with my family because they always guard me to avoid seeing her (we're not living together)... How will I tell them?
125384
Well you do not really have to tell them until u r ready and it all depends when the wedding is? Another thing once it done once it is possibility she can do it again and also everyone makes mistakes and your parents have to realize they make mistakes too.Your parents never cheated or had problems of the sort. Talk to them on that issue first. Marriage is a every sensitive issue.did she explain why she did it. you have to be encouraged that she is the one for you without a doubt despite what may come out of her mouth. I know because Im female.
601580
You may never regain the trust she had for you. You can suggest counselling and also don't try to rush it. You have a lot of bad marks against you and really need to prove yourself to her. Also have you thought about what will happen if you get back with her? What made you get into the affair in the same place? Will this reoccurring bad behavior surface again. I'm don't deny that she loves you but just doesn't want to go through the pain of betrayl again. Take some time and get your priorities straight. Good luck
271582
Unfortunately for you, there is something about your relationship or you that caused you to cheat.  You have risked at the highest level your relationship.  If you never tell her, you will be in constant fear she will find out from someone else, and that is 100 times worse than hearing it from you.  If you tell her she very well may leave you, and rightfully so.  Trust is the foundation of any relationship, and you destroyed that forever.  You say you will never do it again....but you did it in the 1st place so you really don't know if you will do it again or not, and she will never really trust you and she will always have that to live with,and it should be enough for her to leave you forever.  What you have done is unforgivable,take it from someone who was married and in her position.  It never is forgiven and it definitely is never forgotten.  You have to tell her as kindly as possible, and you should not try to justify your behavior, excuse it, or try to plead you way out of this.  She has every right to get angry, sad, and betrayed, and you not only should allow her to feel that way but also not try to manipulate your way back in.  Let her decide what she wants to do with no pressures from you.  If you pressure her she will leave you for sure, or should do so.  Learn from this however it turns out and in future relationships don't do something you will regret.
317333
hey, it sounds like you are super hurt and you have every right to be.  don't let it consume you.  find a way to forgive him, in your own way.  one hurt doesn't justify another, right?  tell him how you feel and ask him to repeat his understanding of what you said.  that way you will know if he is understanding you.  most importantly, tell your family that he was not supposed to give that to them and not to ask him for anything they need to come to you.  if your hubbie is in rehab, it may be hard for him to stand up to certain people, he may be picking and choosing his battles and this one he may have misjudged.  don't fret time heals all wounds.  he needs to know you still love him and that you may hold a serious grudge but you still love him!!!!!!!!!!  hope all gets better and don't let this be you and his deal breaker.  you know if you can support a man through rehad you can sure get through this.
618844
Just move on.  Regardless of who was at fault, if she really wanted to rekindle your relationship, she would make an effort to do so.  Don't allow her to make you feel guilty because of her selfish motives.  Move on.  Life is too short to deal with difficult people.
428042
I just don't see a feelgood way out of this.  Be honest with her.  It already sounds like you are compassionate.  Honestly explain your feelings, how long you've been feeling this way, how you struggled with it, didn't want to hurt her, etc but that you couldn't reconcile how you feelings evolved to living in a way that is in full honesty for both of you.  She's going to undergo grief and pain so there is no avoidance of that.  It really is hard to tell someone you care about as a person, knowing you're going to cause them pain, that you've tried, but don't feel the way you would like to feel anymore.  Many people deal with faded feelings in ways that cause even more problems down the line, cheating, avoidance, etc. It never makes the problem better so you know that it will take great courage on your part to get in the drivers seat and take the relationship to it's inevitable destination.  She was a whole person before she met you so hopefully she has the inner strength and faith to trust she will continue to be a whole person without you.
539620
you should ask them for thier blessing and if they refuse then that is something that u will have to deal with if u love your fiance and she loves you then thats all u need talk to your family and let them know that it bothers u and your fiance and that they need to fiqure out how to control that and if they dont have anything nice to say then not to say anything at all and whether they like it or not u love her and she loves u and u to are getting married and u will not come around if they are going to keep treating her that way and u really dont want that because they are your family and u love them too. i hope this helps u.
600576
Sounds like your mom was the glue holding the family together.  It's understandable that people would fall away from each other after her passing.  It's hard to go about our daily lives knowing that we should be a familly with ALL the family, people should want to spend time with each other and talk about their lives.  At least your not alone.  My husband and his brother recently got into a huge fight with the two of them wrestling around on the floor and somebody getting hurt.  That was a few months ago, and neither of them has even tried to apologize or be the bigger man and just forgive.  It is very frustrating especially when family functions or birthday parties come along and certain people have to be left out.  It is just not fair sometimes.  Just remember you can't change other people but you can decide that no matter what your siblings do or don't do you can control yourself and your actions, and live your life, they'll either come around or they won't, if they do great, if not, forgive them, and move on.
22358
From the sound of this. You cheated in the past. And trust is something that is very hard to achieve onces a person feels stabed in the back. But that is the price you have to pay now for going out and cheating on her. Is it worth staying toghether? well that is something you gotta sit and talk to her about. Make sure she understand you do love her and you messed up in the past but your over that and want her in your life and no body else. Make sure she understand that you understand where she is coming from, and that you understand the pain and grief you caused your family.\n\nOnce everything is said and done. You 2 have to make a decisino based on your situation. Whats best for the kids. You 2 staying togher and always arguin about trust issues and your kids growing up with that in mind. Or going your seperate ways but still keep really close contact with your kids.
351306
yea its normal to feel this way..you just have to be careful not to get hurt..and its really hard...as far as taking her back..its a judgement call....do you think she'll do this again? do u still love her? think about and dont rush to a decision
470170
Sounds like you are having second thoughts about giving him a second chance.  Not only did he break the trust in your relationship, but he did a little shattering of your confidence too.  You can't let anyone shatter your confidence, so if this is torturing you and making you think thoughts that are killing you, then it may be something you need to let go of.  When you forgive someone that means letting go of all the hurt and moving on to the next step and it seems like something that you are not able to do.  If you love him and you think that he is heartily sorry for what he did, then let it go and move on with your relationship.  If not, then you need to let him go and do whatever he has to do and you go do what you have to do.  It sounds like you still think he is misleading the both of you and you can't live like that!  It will kill you!  Make that decision on your own, don't wait for it to backfire.  Usually your first mind is your right mind. You are more important than anything.  I was in a situation like that once and it didn't work out for the good, not saying that is the case with your situation, but you should always go with your first mind. I know it will be hard, but it will work out better in the long run.
459216
Wow, buddy, it sounds like you really did screw up.  That sucks for you.  If you truly want to try and make things work with this woman, slow down.  She's probably really hurt right now, and she doesn't feel like she can trust you.  Start with little things, like a sweet email.  Send her an ecard to apologize.  Show her by your actions how much you regret what happened, because we all know actions speak louder than words.  The biggest thing, though, is to back off if she asks you to.  It may hurt like Hell, but you could earn some of her respect back if you comply with her wishes.  Best of luck in finding your answer.  I hope this helped even a little bit.
190008
Look at it like this. When we do people wrong it comes back on us. She is suffering for her mistakes. It wouldn't be right to leave now because she needs someone there with her. He doesn't have to be in love with her. Just letting her stay there. Sooner or later her condition is going to get worse and she won't be able to care for herself. No matter what a person has done we must forgive and love them anyways. All he can do is be a helping hand. That will cause\nher to apologize for what she did to him. My late boyfriend \nwould hardly come see me. Just when I wanted to leave him I found out he had lung cancer. I felt bad about leaving so I stayed and supported him until he died. That takes courage.
166972
So sorry for what you are going through... She should have remembered her vows and stood strong for you while you are away.  If someone vows to love, honor, and cherish you until death and they try to find someone else while you're away, you are better off without her.  I know it will hurt and in time you will hopefully heal and find a great woman. Good luck to you.
123886
Just to play devils advocate for a moment here, it *is* possible that she is just genuinely trying to keep everyone happy here and not hurt anyones feelings. Have you spoken with her about this yet? It's quite possible she has no idea how you have reacted to this. If you are truly, completely offended, the best thing to do would be writing her a long personal letter, without anger, explaining that you are offended by her actions and that you are rethinking your decision to have her at your side during your special day. Give her an opportunity to talk to you about it before you make any "final cuts" though. Family comes first, and if she has a good reason or just was ignorant and chooses you, then you can have a wonderful marriage with her there. If she is stubborn about it or just refuses to work it out, then you may have to bluntly tell her you had to choose another maid-of-honor but she is still welcome to the ceremony. I hope everything works out for you. Good luck and congratulations.
638827
i can tell you one thing, i have been in your shoes. when my husband and i first got together his mom and his sister hated me. and that was ok because the feeling was mutual. he basicaly looked at his mom and told her "hey this is the girl i want to be with, forever, and if you don't like it that to f** bad. " His mom wasn't very happy with this. he moved out of the house and moved in with me. She only saw him on holidays because he didn't want anything to do with her if she wasn't going to accept me. And yes i know it has to do with "taking away her baby boy" blah blah blah. His mom didn't like me until 2 yrs later when i gave birth to her granddaughter. Mind you, we were already married. So my advice to you is be kind, be nice and take it with a grain of salt. If he loves you then he will be the one to step up and say somethig to his family. He'll be a man about the situation and explain to everyone that you are the one for him and they need to accept you and respect you and the relationship that he has with you. Good Luck!
252729
Ok I completly understand what both you and him are going through cause I have been there and done that, therefor my advice to you is if you really think and feel you love him try to understand his point even if you don't agree or like it very much. What it sounds like he is doing is avoiding having confrontations with his family and you. The less they know the less they will nag at him, they less they nag the better mood you will see him in. Think of it in a positive way he just wants to avoid problems between his family you and him, besides its also a healthier realationship for both of you, never know he may be thinking of taking the relationship a step higher and want to move in together in a few months and when he does he will drop the bom on them, just keep your eyes open at all times giving everyone and anything the benifit of a dought. Good Luck and take things easy enoy your time