I don't mind that, but is it weird that He thinks ahead, and I don't. I love him, and i want to be with him for the rest of my life, he's 1 year older than me, but 2 grades ahead,and he's going into the navy... so i guess that i don't wanna look ahead, because i'm scared he won't be there... Am i paraniod, or typical, what should i do? any advice?
135513
yes, remember that nothing in life is promised. if you love him live everyday like it counts. you should tell him to think like that. even if he goes to the navy, and he doesn't come back (god forbids something happens to him) you could rejoice knowing you lived everyday loving and knowing him like it was your last. and have no regrets. you need more encouragement listen to this song by jessica simpson called "i have loved you" it's on the "sweetest sin " album you'll love it.\n good luck
478733
Sounds like you're on the right track but the only thing you can do is to keep it up. Just keep being wonderful and eventually he will have to see that you are different than the rest. I am in a similar position, though I've only been with mine a matter of months and he is still not willing to let down his guard as much as I'd hope. But I know that it will take time and patience for me and it will for you too. Most importantly, don't betray him in any way. Just show him you are infinitely consistent, honest, and trustworthy.
607503
Communication! Why people don't get this part of any relationship I will never understand.\n\nHere is the dilema you face in your situation. First, how important is his friendship to you. The problem is this, if the two of you have a great friendship, by letting him know how you feel in regards to taking it to the next level, there is a chance that the friendship will never be the same. Now if the two of you flirted all the way through high school and he used to tell people he was going to marry you, why was the friendship barrier never crossed? Also, have both of you been dating other people prior to him joining the marines? There are soo many things to look at when trying to get answers. Bottomline is this... if you have strong feelings for him and want to be in a loving relationship with him, COMMUNICATE!
164841
If he isn't ready, then he isn't ready. I think if you pin all ur hopes on him, it's not very wise. Is he is saying a NO to u, or is he saying "I don't know". Does he have feelings for you...is it love, or lust? You know best. \nEitherways, he is not *moving forward* with u, and that's a strong signal. \n\nI would advise you to have a really honest talk with him and ask him what he REALLY thinks and feels. Tell him you are not judging him, tell him you truly wanna hear what he is going through, and to lay it all on the table, so you can make an informed decision. If he cares about you and your life, and your own future, am sure he should be ready to let you know honestly what is going on in his mind. \n\nI would say keep him as a friend (strictly) and date other people who would be willing to commit. I know it might be hard esp. if you have developed strong feelings and attachment with him. It's for you and him to decide whether you both can be friends and date other people, if you both wish. \n\nAnother thing is, you must have some discipline in order for things to move forward. If u decide to be strictly friends, then make sure you do that. If you give in, this situation might continue for a long, long time. \n\nI think he needs to miss u a lil bit, inorder to really know what he wants. Reduce ur talks, go date other people, and see where it goes after that. That's my 2 cents on this.
237470
you are making an excuse "can't keep...living through him."\nif you wanted to be with him you would go with him.\nif you don't want to go overseas, don't.\nit seems completely reasonable that you simply prefer to stay where you are.\nyou are ready to settle down but feel awkward about pressuring him to do so.
239621
I'm old-fashioned. If you aren't ready, don't do it. It's all about respect, for yourself and from him.\n\nTake care ;-)
140505
I'm in the middle. You do have to think about your future and your goals. But then he is your love. If you say that you know your gonna end up with each other, then don't worry, things will work out at the end for both of you. Plus, if  you say he loves you then he'll want you to be happy no matter what decision you choose.
213165
no not normal. Very inconsiderate towards you. try talking to him later and calmly ask him to look at it from your pov
279353
I salute you, lady.. you're tough enough to face your fears and i can see you're still standing tall coz you know where you stand with your man.. just keep trusting him, he has not done anything for you to stop doing so.. memories are memories, so leave them as that and face your future with this man you love enough to be with.
336249
You are what you are and if he truly loves you, he will definitely respect your feelings. Dont do anything that you feel uncomfortable with now... make things clear now- its better than repenting later. Understanding, mutual respect and honesty are the very basics of any relationship. If he cant compromise and make adjustments now, it doesnt bode well for the future too, does it? So speak out whats in your mind- let him know how you feel. Explain to him that you come from a conservative background and that you dont feel comfortable with the relationship getting physical so soon. DONT DO ANYTHING THAT U FEEL IS NOT RIGHT!
632620
Hi, sorry to hear about this situation. Personally, I think you are going to have problems with this relationship. I am not saying that this is not going to work out, but I am going to give you a few things to think about.\n  Right now, I think he is too young for you in a lot of ways. It would be different if he were 20 and you were 23. He would probably be at your level maturity wise, but right now, the fact is that he is not.\n  Your life is probably going to be very different in a year or so. You are probably going to go to college or at least start school for some kind of trade. This is where the problems arise.. You are at a new stage of life where you begin to get older and are on your way to a mature adult life. There will be things that you will be experiencing that is going to be different from your highschool life. In time, your boyfriend is probably going to feel left out. Its like two ships passing through the night. Your going to be on totally different levels.\n   I personally think maybe you should really wait this out. He is really still young, and I think he has some growing up to do before he involves himself in someone that is older. I think three years is a lot when you are 18. When you are 19 do you really want to be dating a 16yr old.\n  I know people are going to say age doesn't matter. In most cases it doesn't. But I think at this stage in your lives it might matter. I could be wrong, but I think you should consider dating guys your age or a little older.\n  If you do consider that you still want to date him, proceed with caution. Maybe you and him should discuss things with your parents to see how they feel about the situation. If they don't see problems with it, go for it but just keep certain things in the back of your mind. The whole legality thing is not going to matter unless his or your parents have a problem with it.\n Good Luck!
556495
Don't be concerned about how he feels.  It sounds like your conscience is trying to tell you something.  Listen to it.  Don't be a home wrecker.
415818
I know how it feels, I am in a relationship now with the best guy i could ever be with we have been together almost 5 years, and I still find myself wondering about my first love. Me and my first love were together for only 2 and 1/2 years and he was my first everything. I know deep down i still have feelings for him and i always wonder about him. I know i shouldnt be doing that, but i cant help it, i guess he still has some place deep in my heart. As for you i think that you still have a special place in your heart for this guy. Dont let it bother you i think its all part of how special this guy was for you, just be thankful and happy that he is having a great life, and that he is married be happy for him. I am sure that he probably still thinks about you as much as you do him. Maybe you never know what holds in the future. SO dont lose hopes of this guy and dont lose hopes on finding another guy. god only knows whom your soulmate is. I wish the best for you. god bless you
321980
Hmmm you seems like a girl with right head who knows what she wants.i agree with you,wait for some more time and see where things go and if he is really not ready after summer which is about 6 months or so then he really dont want to be with you in long term thing and yes seems like he really do like you.i wish you all the best and i hope you get what is best for you.
204341
I think it could be that you have this guy in your head now because he is ignoring you.  You know the saying, you want what you can't have?  Well, when he wanted you you weren't interested...and now you "think" you may be.  \nBut...if you're really thinking about this fling guy a lot then I doubt you're truly in love with your steady.  Deep down it's probably not meant to be.  You know, real love and all that comes with it...when you're in deep, no one else can touch that.  Anyway, do the pro's and con's thing about the guy you're with and if it's more con's than pro's give him up...and talk to this younger guy if you can, about how you feel if you really think your feelings are deeper than just wanting what you can't have.  I have to say also that he sounds a tad bit immature...ignoring you after you've had a fling.  But that's just my opinion....good luck.
99745
Well, you can never ever ever forget your first love...unless you get konked on the head and get amnesia or some such like that. Heh. ^^; Anyway, it's normal to hold your first love higher than the next. You want the next to be just as perfect and wonderful. It is possible that he isn't the right one either, but you shouldn't ruin the relationship you have with him just because the love you feel is different. Best of luck hun! ^^
354044
You guys live in a different state.  What do you expect to happen?  Do you expect him to be alone?  What has failed here is your understanding when people are far apart.  It's your responsibility to be realistic, not him.  It would help if he did his part, but that's not the issue here.\n\nIt's you and your false expectations about relationships-particularly when you live far from your mate, in a different State.\n\nSorry sweetheart.  \n\nI'm guessing he said that not to hurt your feelings and he has no intention of doing so, but he's a human being and so are you.\n\nCall him and tell him that this is not realistic and to maintain a friendship.