How do you get that bad bad feeling of her moving on and Already dating so fast to go away, especially with all those words of "hopefully there will be something after we have time apart" that she said. time apart and all that to me just sounds like wanting to hook up and it looks like i was right. any advice?! woman too, i want to know from your side.
120363
Laugh at them. I mean, she couldn't handle being single and fell into a rebound relationship that is doomed for failure. It's painful, I know, but don't worry. You're over her, what she does shouldn't bother you. Let her find another guy, let her screw up that relationship, and push her from your mind. You'll find someone else soon enough.
239816
You sound like a very nice person.  Hang in there.  You'll probably get her back in time.  AND LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIPS DON'T WORK VERY WELL.  I'm going to ask that question next about any lone distance relationships working for anyone?
149004
I've been there mate, sorry to say it, but she's taking you for a ride. She's using you when she find's it convenient. Sever this "relationship" before it breaks you in two. If she's willing to treat you like that, she's not worth it. She obviously doesn't have a high regard for your feelings, because if she did, she would have got with you totally, or not at all. Sorry to say it mate, but break this one up now, please. I know how painful it will eventually be if you don't.
299357
I really believe that just when you think things cannot get any worse, they get a whole lot better. Two months is a young relationship. Love is a strong word. I'm not undermining your feelings, but if it is true love, it'll be there even after the worst of things. So, if you don't get the same feelings back from her, ask yourself, do you like to feel bad?
71288
there really isn't a "delicate" way aside from just saying "it's over, really really over" and sticking to it. how do you do that? \n\nwell, your first step is realizing how much you really want to stay out. you have found yourself going back, and now you feel like a jerk because you're not into it as much as she is. so think of it this way: how would you feel if she was the one coming back to you when she was "bored or lonely"--wouldn't you be mad and hurt? you don't want to hurt this person do you? so stop doing that. you're being a jerk. (not a bad person, but just not who you should be.)\n\nthe next thing you need to do is set a period during which you will not call or contact or hang out or talk more than in passing and out of courtesy with this person. tell her and yourself that this is necessary for your to transform your relationship into a platonic one. if she keeps calling you, then stick to your rule. (i.e., don't answer the phone, and don't call her back. the common courtesy of a greeting when you meet outside the home is okay, but try to make it not go beyond "hi how are you?")  i'd make it a period of about four to six months. \n\nget out there and talk to and look at and be around other women. get to know other women. date. even if it's the friendly sort of date that doesn't go anywhere. cultivate your crushes. enjoy your life. find a new hobby or hang-out that has nothing to do with your old relationship. in fact, try one that your old girlfriend didn't like or prevented you from doing. look forward to finding someone you can love. \n\nthe reason i have never "gone back" is because i keep focused on the reasons why i don't want to be with that person, and i remind myself that being alone is a good thing. i also remind myself that it is a waste of time to be with someone who doesn't present as the "love of your life."
436547
Girls know what they want and she thinks she is being kind by giving you excuses.  Before you get hurt any further get yourself away from her.  Don't even talk with her.  There are plenty of other girls out there that will want what you have to offer.  If this girl has to make up excuses - it is over!  I have been down that road many times.  It's hard to tell someone that you have had relations with that it is over.  Most caring people don't like to hurt others so see it for what it is - over.  I am so sorry for your situation but unfortunately the truth hurts.  I also have been on your side of the situation.  You are looking for any gleam of hope for this relationship to work but unfortunately its only one sided.  It hurts.  The sooner you walk away the better off you will be.  Ten months, while it is a long time, it would be worse if longer.   The "perfect guy for her" is more than likely her way of saying she honors your friendship.  When women are in relationships and opt to get out they want their cake and eat it too.  It's ok for her to move on but she doesn't want anybody else to have you.  Hope this helps and good luck to you.
620829
that sucks!!  Ask him....find out if there were still feelings between them when she left town....if so, I'm sorry...
647157
ask her to chill, not a date, chill, and go from there. that what i did, and a week later were making out in her room, and that was three years ago. we just broke up last week. i'm tellin ya "chillin" is the way to go.
273600
Simply, she doesnt want to be committed.  She wants to be "friends with benefits".  Something she doesnt feel tied down to.  Why that is, is up to her, really.  Was her last relationship that bad, maybe?  Does she want to not be exclusive to one person?  An honest conversation would do wonders.
533334
Well buddy, i was in a situation like that.....college was the best thing that ever happened to me on that, cause i moved away from her and never saw her again.  If she was just your friend and dated a bunch of dudes and knew you liked her...she is NO GOOD...as far as love is concerned.....so you shoul'dve booted that b*tch to the curb long time ago, or made it strickly friendly.  But stickin to the plan and hoping is bad...those are false hopes, you can't make anyone love you, and you can't be so friendly that they'll somehow say "hey, he's a sweet guy..let me give him a chance"  that's straight up B*LLSH*T my friend, they will never do that, they will always see you as a friend and nothing more.  Chase after women who will give you a genuine chance the FIRST time..not after they date someone else....because if they really liked you or wanted you..they would've given you a chance a LOOOOONG time ago.  Women a lot of times just don't know what the hell they want, and they don't find out until much later, but by then it's too late because they've either slutted the hell out of themselves, or just been through so much drama that they become high maintenance....you don't want to get involved with that....because if they can't appreciate you for you at that time what the HELL makes them think they can appreciate you now?  You ain't too good to be her friend, she wasn't a friend in the first place if she knew you wanted her and she blew it off and never confronted you about her feelings.  It's called, can't deal with lovesickness, and that's what she caused with every moment you were with her anyway....so don't feel bad, just move the hell on...find someone who will appreciate you....not someone who'll just lead you on for their own selfish support.
582583
First, I respect your courage for writing here, but I would take the most serious advice from those who know you best... those closest to you. There aren't enough details in your story for anyone but those who know you to give you good advice, but a lot of people have similar feelings. When I was single I always pined for my ex's... the bad times didn't register and all I remembered was the good times. This doesn't mean that they didn't happen and that what drove me from my now ex's wasn't real. We did break up for a reason, and our incompatibility was something to be considered. No matter what you do, even if you did get back together, you can't relive a memory. This isn't to say you shouldn't talk to your ex or figure out what you're feeling, but I'd say take your time with it. If the feeling is really real, if the relationship is meant to be, then it's worth waiting for. A lot of times things seem good at the time, but if we waited, we lose interest or realize what a bad decision it was. Even so, you have a fractured relationship, and it's going to take a lot of care and thought to bring it together... either way, protect your own heart and take your time. Find someone you really trust and talk to them about it and let them speak into you... tell you a no bs assessment of what they can see from the outside. Even if you don't agree with them, it'll get you thinking. I wish you the best with your relationship, whether it's meant to be repaired or not. God bless you,\n\nBrian
209678
Maybe she gave the guy a ride out of the goodness of her heart.  If you explained to her that it really bothers you and she ignores your request to stop it she is either being stubborn (he's not going to tell ME what to do) or she does not value your feelings on the matter.  When SHE said "let's take some time off" she could have been just trying to get back at you for making the suggestion in the first place.  At the very worst you've got yourself one of those girls who enjoys stirring things up to make the relationship a little more edgy and thrilling like it is in the very beginning when you're in the "does he/she like me or not stage????".  Have you ever seen the movie "Play Misty for Me?"  Extreme case.  They like to pull back to "show you what you might lose", then they panic and try to reel you back in very fast so you won't really try to get away.  Your idea af a break is a REAL GOOD one.  But set an actual time like a week or 10 days and agree NO CONTACT.  Tell her that you will not only NOT answer her calls and texts you will not even listen to or read them.  Assure her that you will not use this time to cruise for other girls.  That's not the idea.  The idea is to see how much you miss THIS one.  No cheating!  Good luck.
160250
Wow, this sounds familiar.  I have a guy friend like that who's a five hour plane ride away from me.  She's probably thinking the same thing you are.  She trusts you and likes you and wants more from the relationship, but she's afraid of ruining what she already has with you.  Which as she's told you, is very special to her.  If you really think it's a good idea and you guys can work it out to be together, talk to her about it.  She probably wants to be with you too but doesn't want to pressure you.  If not, always be a good friend to her and maybe there will come a time and place where everything will just click.  Good luck!  I hope it works out!
114298
she was probably confused.  thinking what is she doing and then feeling guilty.  maybe she wasn't over him yet.  it took me 5 years to get over my ex.  this kinda stuff doesn't happen over night dood.  dont take offense.  just try to be a good friend and supportive. good luck!
157006
what she did...how quickly she seemed to "get over you" hurt you...when people hurt us, it's hard to forget that pain we went through...\nbut you know what i've found out? our brains are very powerful organs...if we choose to not let it hurt us, then pretty soon we'll convince ourselves that it doesn't...maybe think of it in a different way...obviously she was trying to move on as quickly as possible b/c it hurt her too much to be without you...have you thought of it this way?...maybe it was her defense mechanism so she wouldn't be hurting so bad, either...obviously she still loved you b/c she came back to you...\nlife gets to be routine and sometimes can feel like you're in a rut or bored...but you know what? a good relationship isn't worth throwing away over a little boredom...if you really love each other, then find new ways of doing things...do things you wouldn't normally do...go on a vacation together and experience something new together...like hiking or white water rafting...something in which you won't be alone the whole time...spice up your sex life...\nyou take care of your part...you plan things to surprise her...you know, do your part and she'll do hers...come up with a list of things you want to do and plan them out according to your finances and do them together...\nbut trust me, being in a rut with a good person is worth way more than jumping from relationship to relationship trying to find something new...
107905
you sound almost like a mirror image of me but i'm at the 3 month stage and i don't know if he's with somone else, the other difference is he said to me that he wants to work things out i haven't seen mine in 20 days and yes im counting. the best advice hang in there, me personally i would tell him how much of a many swearwords he is for hurting me and how could he get with somone else so soon. but as i said hang in there im now ruling my own life but it is hard moving ahead without the one you love. Be Good!
70429
I'm sorry that happened to you but maybe she finally realized what she felt for you and that it wasn't enough to take it into the future.  You also don't know if she found somebody else and this could be a possibility.  Please try to move on and consider this a blessing in disguise.  It's better that you found out sooner than later.