He got a summons saying he wasn't paying. It is coming out of his check. She doesn't let him see the kids. He used to take drugs. As far as I know he is clean now. She doesn't let me or the rest of the family see the kids. Wants him to give up his rights to the kids so the husband she has now can adopt them. He can't afford a lawyer. I think they said it was $1000 or more for one. No free lawyers. Works for minimum wage. Almost all of his check goes for child support. Works faithfully so he can pay her.
131843
OK tell him to buckle down and hold on for the next 20 years.  my ex had me in court like 12 times in a year for child support that i was paying too, i finally beat his attorney. because i didn't have an attorney either.  and i think that the judge could see that too.  and it will all turn out in the end...its just getting there.  be sure to go to court every time, do everything that they tell him to do, take every bit of paper work every time he goes to court ie check stubs tax offset papers tax returns everything.  and also make himself presentable for court.  and child support and visitation are 2 TOTALLY different things.  just wait. she will get hers.  sounds like she is very young and stupid.  everyone makes mistakes, bet she did too and will.  don't worry grandma stay cool, it will all blow up in her face.
165034
Ok, when he goes to the hearing, he can request a paternity test.  They will order one and reschedule a hearing for after the results have been found.  There is not time limit for requesting a paternity test.  If the child is his, he will have to pay for it, if it isn't, the mother will.  But its well worth the money when you consider child support for the next 18 years.\n\nWhen he goes to the hearing, it is pretty much cut and dry.  There is little an atty can do.  All they do is ask him how much money he makes and ask the mother how much she makes and if she pays daycare and for how much.  They punch those numbers as well as a few others into a child support calculator, and poof!  Out pops how much he has to pay.\n\nAn atty really doesn't have any influence over what the court orders, so there really isn't a need to pay for one.\n\nIf you google for your state and "child support calculator" you will get a site that will let him see what he may have to pay.  If the mother doesn't work or he doesn't know what she makes, tell him to put in $210/wk or $840/month.  That is minimum wage.  If she does not work that much, the court will impute it upon her. (meaning she has no reason not to make at least that much)\n\nAnd as far as entrapment, well, he coulda used a condom, so he's out of luck on that one.  That is going to be an expensive lesson to learn.
198623
Agreeing with the girl above.  Esp. about the journal.  Keep track of EVERYTHING.\n\nMy guess is also that it is a scare tactic.  Instability??? Please, is PRISON stable??? \n\nIf he has not supported the child, seen him, etc., you have nothing to worry about. Forget the joint custody the girl above mentioned, I would fight for supervised visitation if he gets to see the child at all.\n\nI am wondering where he got the $$ for any atty.\n\nHere is where you can also find a little comfort in the fact that courts like to keep kids with their mothers.\n\nYou do need to get a lawyer.  If you cannot afford one contact your local bar assocaition or pro bono program.  If you cannot get a lawyer fast enough, go to the court and file for a continuance.  DO NOT GO TO COURT ALONE!!\n\nBut as far as having any concerns about losing your child, I certainly wouldn't sweat it.  I know its hard not to worry, but if you are telling the whole story, he doesn't have a chance...
228294
It sounds like you have a hard road to follow.  Please don't let him relinquish his rights.  From the sounds of it, your stepdaughter needs someone in her life who is willing to act responsibly on her behalf.  Obviously her mother isn't doing her job as a parent.  \n\nMy advice is similar to several others already on here.  Go to a lawyer.  Get every bit of information you can on your stepdaughter's life....police reports, school reports, teachers' files, doctor's reports, neighbor's thoughts on her life with mom...and find out exactly what is going on over there.  If you can prove that she is not being raised and cared for according to acceptable standards-and it sounds like just looking at her police reports and tatoos might do the trick-it wouldn't be hard for you to get custody, even if she want's to live with her mother.  The judge will look at what is best for her, not just what she wants.  \n\nAlso, when your stepdaughter is at your house for visitation, her mother does not have the right to show up and neither does grandma.  They can see her whenever she is not scheduled to be with you guys.  You do have the right to tell them to leave, without your stepdaughter.  There is nothing they can do about it.  Also, take the cell phone away when she is with you guys.  Tell her she can have it back when she is about to go back to her mom's house.  And if they do not bring her to your home or make her available to you when you have scheduled visitation, call the police.  I know it sounds harsh, but most states have laws about this.  Where I live, every missed visitation that my husband and I didn't agree on ahead of time cost his ex $1500 refusal of visitation ticket.  Judges don't like it when their orders are ignored.  Unless she has a VERY good reason for not following the custody and visitation agreement, she will be paying for it.  It's a way to make her realize you guys are not going to be railroaded by her and what she wants. \n\nPlease don't give up on this kid.  Remember, she is just a kid, and doesn't know what she needs.  You two are the parents, and need to make sure she knows this.  One day she will thank you for trying to make sure she didn't throw her life away by acting like a juvenile delinquent.  I hope everything works out for you guys.  I will keep you in my prayers.  :)
100466
There should be laws in your state for deadbeat fathers. First, call the prosecuting attorney's office and ask for help.( I did read about the cash problem) He doesn't want his wages garnished....report what he is doing. Secondly, you may need an attorney so that you can keep him from seeing the children since he is such a bad influence on them. You do need help through the legal system. I am so sorry that he is so immature and mean that the doesn't put his own children's interests first. Good luck.
593926
nooooooooooo he has no rights to ask you that and then he is remarried?? tell him to mind his business at home and send your child support payment on time.. that is what.\nthe only thing he needs to know is where to send the money i hope you slapped his ass with child support and i hope he has supervised visitations with the kids if he was abusive...you better talk that over with your lawyer.and do not let him intimidate you you have to be strong and direct with him,good luck honey.
550575
Trust me it happens everywhere. I live in Australia same thing here. My daughter went to court for a few reasons, child support being one of them. She had two children to this moron who wouldn't work, she pretty much supported him, he was abusive so when she finally plucked up enough courage to leave he got himself a job, cash in hand ofcourse went to court and claimed he was only living on the dole.Even though she had proof of him working the judge didn't want to know about it. He was ordered to pay her  $20 a month for two kids and he has never even paid that. Trust me the judicial system sucks everywhere not just Rock county. Perhaps if all the mums who have been wronged by the system got together they may be able to change things. We can all live in hope  I guess. It's just not fair, after all it's the poor innocent kids that suffer. Best of luck  K  x
676751
Man, I just went through this! If her bio. father pays child support, then yes he must be contacted to sign away his rights even if she has NEVER laid her eyes on him. If he doesn't pay or contribute in any way, when your child has gone without ANY paternal support for 5 consecutive years, then all you have to do is run it in the classified ads in your town for 4 weeks. The newspaper will give you an affidavit and you will have to sign one stating that you have not received any support from her bio. father. After that point, it is pretty smooth sailing. Hopefully you won't get an A-hole for a judge like I did... the same judge that ordered my son's father to only pay $96 a month for support <--- Please try to hold your laughter until the end of the paragraph. Thank you.
29778
He sounds like a dirtball. Sorry to hear it. Get a good lawyer and take his a*s to court again. DONT listen to friends and family...get a lawyer. Your kids well being is worth it. GOOD LUCK!
462090
restaing order and she needs to think about getting a lawyer and a new court case to have him pay chidl support. but if he is only paying 13 bucks a month its not worth the trouble.  and besides if he doesnt pay child support he can't see the child. (at least thats the law in oklahoma) so restaing order and move on with life.
614662
He needs to get in contact with the child support agency that his is sending his money to.  And a lawyer,  if he has visitation rights.  Than he has the right to know where his child is and to see them.  The cops are just going to say that they can't do anything unless he has full custody.  Go to the court and talk to the judge that signed the visitation order.  They may be able to help know what he signed and what to do.  He should have never signed something that  he didn't completely understand.  I did that, and the people ended up getting full custody of my son and took off with him,  When they and their lawyers told me over and over that I was signing a temporary custody agreement.  Legal papers are so confusing even to very smart people.  Keep standing behind him and helping your man.  I commend you for being a real woman, and hold on to your hope and strength.  Because it may take time and money that you think that you don't have.  But every thing will work out for you.
551808
It shouldn't be a surprize to anyone.  He's a loser, she's too young and naive.  Hopefully she won't have to pay him too much money.  It's good that she'll be able to afford to raise those babies.  Another story of:  Could have told you so!!!
109242
I did the same thing with my ex husband.  It cost much less than a lawyer and you can apply with the Attorney General for free to get the Child support and custody resolved.  Lawyers are all about the money.
132738
I have shared custody with my exhusband with our sons.  I can tell you right now that as long as he pays child support and its in their court papers she will have to let him visit with his kids.  She cannot deny his rights no matter how much she wants to.  There is a thing he needs to know about called father's rights.  There is an organization for the rights of fathers.  With my situation my exhusband shares custody and we have always talked about it with our kids because they are involved with this too.  There is something he can do too because i could not keep my exhusband from seeing his sons.  Of course now he chooses not to see his sons because of his retarded alcoholic girlfriend.  Sometimes if you step back and let things happen the way they do it works out better than what you think.  The more he argues with her the worse off she will become.  My advice do like i did let the courts handle it dont fight the decision and let things take its course.  Also keep in mind that since he is still married and he is living with you that can count against him.  I hate to say that but its true.  She can hold that against him in court.  I know about all of this my exhusband was not allowed to live with his girlfriend until after our divorce.  In the divorce is where all things should be stipulated and rules set forth.  If he pays childsupport she will have to let him visit with his sons no matter what.  Don't let it stress you to the point it gets out of hand she is using the kids as stomping ground for him.  She is mad because he has decided to move on without her see what i mean?  After awhile things will work itself out.  I promise on that one.
273556
I would have him investigated. Seriously talk to people who really know him. Maybe he's just trying to ease his guilt of being a deadbeat dad for 7 yrs. What ever his intentions are he is not doing it for your child. I've never seen a child that could not sense good intentions in an adult, they are very perceptive. Your right in being concerned. Talk to your attorney. about keeping him away...and I would not put his name on her  birth certificate. That is something she will have her whole life. Doesn't sound like she would like to see his name anywhere near hers.
406240
Boy, are you down on women or what????  Man just chill out a little bit here. I see no reason in all the name calling here. She might have been a witch from heck, but geezzz.........\n\nAs far as the alimony goes, there are some women out there that have never worked out side the home a day in their life. And IF they have children she should stay with the children if the family can afford for her to stay home.  Now if there is no children, then I think she should go to work.  In some cases with the alimony, a judge might order the ex to pay her alimony for a certain amount of time until she will be able to find a job and is able to support herself or until she remarries, then it is cut off.\n\nI do feel like that the women do need to find a job to support their selves. But you don't have to bash women the way you are doing here, sorry. We are not all alike, just like you guys are not all alike. I am down on men right now, BUT I'm not bashing them the way you are bashing us.
100302
He should check with a lawyer about joint custody. The support would probably be 50/50 and the custdy would be 50/50. I think she could move either way. I think she might be pre-preparing for supporr court. More time = more money? Either way she'll get the money (arears) and the chidren will suffer in the meantime. If the get along well they could work it out (legally) in the form of a contract. He could use the threat of court as leverage, but I would chek with a lawyer.