Hi everyone,\nHow can  a woman drive her husband to divorce her, without asking him to, or cheating on him, is there another way please help me please, i'm dead serious about this!!!!
129534
tell him the truth in a respectable fashion and decide on a way to continue to share the responsibilities of raising your children TOGETHER.
117846
I warn my husband about this all the time.  I feel me and him don't have a deep mutual understanding of each other.  You know how with some people you have that love and understnading and emotional connection and with others you don't.  he and I don't have that - thought we did but we rushed into the marriage.  I keep telling him that if he continues to be that way - he complains and argues about everything that I am interested in and criticizes me for the way I do things ..doesn't understand the real me. We just doesn't have that real true love "connection" as your wife calls it and "emotional" understanding for one another ... he has no idea what i mean when i explain this to him; I tell him he's gonna be the guy that 10 years down the road the wife will say "i want a divorce" and the entire time he would never see it coming and would wonder "where did I go wrong - i thought everything was fine" ... but you know what .. I commend you for reading books and seeing a counselor.  I try to read books about this stuff to my husband and he gets mad and defensive or he'll just ignore what I'm reading to him.  If she doesn't give you that chance to work it out then she is just fed up and there is no hope.  Give her a little more time - although she probably feels less hurt becasue she knows you are still wanting to be with her so she's not scared about this time apart.  If you were to act like her and accept it - then it would scare her.  When I threaten to leave sometimes and he is beggin for me not to, I feel the urge to leave even more because I know I have the upper hand and he's wrong.  But .. if he would act like he wouldn't care for ex: one time he said "fine I'll pack your bags for you" I felt really vulnerable and hurt but it scared me ... and we ended up making up instead of me leaving.   Take everyones advice - just take it day by day - you'll be fine and she'll come around - if its over just let it go .. use what you have learned to help you out later.  Just note that women need emotional attention and understanding- we are weird like that.
135204
eeek! what a monster! Won't take his wife overseas? What kind of husband is that? What kind of vows did he make? What's to like/love about this fool? I won't even suggest marriage counseling bec he's more than just plain ignorant about the hubby-wife relationship - he's cruel.\n\nGet out honey. you deserve better. If it's too expensive for all of you to go, then it's too expensive for him to go.\nNot taking his wife along!?! what a sh*tbag! File for divorce, darling. Kick his dumb A** to the curb!
443626
1) You were misguided as a child.  Women are NOT considered the 'property' of thier husband anymore.  How old are you, 100?\n\n2) If your husband treats you badly, there's a thing called 'divorce'.  You do NOT need to put up with domineering. overly controlling and horrible husbands anymore. \n\n3) What's wrong with being a feminist? And what's wrong with demanding a little respect? Nothing!  You don't need to be treated as a delicate lady, you need to be treated as a HUMAN BEING.\n\n4) Saying it's not your husbands fault is crap.  So what if he was 'raised' that way.  Does he not have a brain of his own? Can he not think for himself? Has he lapped up everything his parents ever taught him and never questioned a thing? I was raised in a racist, sexist household, and it doesn't mean I've grown up as a racist sexist! Quite the opposite! He's an adult, and he's perfectly able of thinking for himself, and KNOWING that treating you like his own personal property, like 'cattle', is freaking wrong!
512175
You STOP now....he has crossed the line by revealing anything to do with his marriage.\n\nSecondly, he may be a predator, the tactic of playing on the emotional "mothering" instinct of a female is a classic move to get some on the side.\n\nIf you decide to continue this relationship you are becoming the "other woman" and a home wrecker.  Cheating is a choice, you making the choice to enable his cheating is just as bad.\n\nWhat he has told you is he isn't leaving, but he will have sex with you.  Lust is different than love....and he doesn't love you enough to get a divorce.
583901
Jeez, Boffo never asked such convoluted questions.\nAnyway, my husband doesn't like Yahoo Answers too much. He says they are guilty of alienation of my affection. I told him to save that nonsense for divorce court.
229672
Yeah...it sounds familiar ...I have an ex who tried the same...basically you have to set boundaries as it's not appropriate for him to visit you given his feelings and the fact that you're committed to another man. Tell him to use the phone or mail to communicate but don't expect him to go away -it's been 18 years since my ex has been doing this but as he's basically harmless I haven't really cared. The important thing is -is your ex harmless? Or is he someone who may act on his obsession? Finally I want to say -be sure you're not sending mixed signals...I've seen too many women not be clear about their wishes only to whine or press charges later when it's their fault for not being direct in the first place! Be honest with him and tell him to scram! There's my advice...I hope you take it! Edit~ I got your mail....If you hate him as you say AND HE HAS 'HURT YOU SO BAD' then why are you putting up with him then? Get a restraining order! Call the police and file a complaint and ask them to tell him to stay away! I thought maybe you still liked him on some level but since that's not the case you need to be pro active! Don't sit here on yahoo talking about it-do something about it -and I mean right now-today! Make sure you don't regret not doing anything!!!!!!!!! Everyday you let this go on-you encourage him more, and give him hope and he will become more relentless! You have been warned!
606309
luckily its only been 2 months....   but this sure is a glimpse into any future with this guy....I noticed  a couple in a restaurant   that were married.... the whole time they were there the guy was  talking on the cell phone.. with a break of only a few minutes in between calls .... I never even saw him speak to his wife!...  I felt so bad for her.... you might want to think about   if you really want to continue on .. personally  I would   get out NOW! lol..... good luck!
381506
Patricia, we have talked in part about this. I went threw the same thing with my ex husband a long time ago. He didn't want the divorce either and it took me a long time to get mine as well. He can be made to sign those papers. He is a controlling type of man and he is thinking as long as he don't sign those papers, he still has some control over you. If you can try not to even talk to him at all. As long as he thinks he has controll at all over you, he is not going to stop. Don't let him get you down. Just keep pushing the issue. Mine was nit picking me, he would want something so small, picture, bottle of oil, etc. I did get mine, but was wondering.
69080
you sound just like me. i'm trying to work things out but i know the end result will be me leaving. i just want to be able to say that i gave it my all and totally mean it. sometimes we just outgrow them. have you ever tried to start some sort of hobbie with each other or do a date night? maybe that will get something going for you. i tried that. my husband didnt even care to go through with any of it. he just agreed to it and never did it. i'm writing a book on my horrible marriage. as soon as i get enough crap for my book i'm out. its not worth it to stay.
432869
You need to have a serious heart to heart with your husband. Explain to him how you feel and make sure he's on the same page as you. If you need to, involve the authorities. It sounds like this woman is a little bit shy of a full deck. Be careful.
22321
This is an experience that I dealt with with my "ex-husband". When I caught it, I challenged him on it. He came up with so many explanations that I finally gave him an ultimatum. I told him that he needed to chose between the internet and me. He was also looking at adult porn. He said he would quit, but one day, I checked history, and found that he lied to me. Not only that, but while I was online, I didn't realize that his instant messenger hadn't been closed, and an IM window popped up from a girl who said "hey sexy"! When I looked at the messenger, I realized it was his, and not mine. I told her who I was and she said "What are you doing on his computer?" I told her that it was my computer, and that he was sleeping in my bed. I asked her if she wanted me to wake him up. Well, she was fuming at that point, and started saying things like "Oh, we're just friends, and also that they had never met, she was only playing around". Well, needless to say, I showed him the door real quick. I live in Ohio, she lives in Indiana. When he left, guess where he went immediately??? LOL! Indiana, of course, and he married her 6 months later. Funny thing is, they are divorced now, and since then, he has been engaged to 3 other women, 2 of which dumped him for the same reasons, and he is planning on his 3rd wedding with his new fiance this year. I've always been told that "leopards never change their spots". That's some good advise that I got from my mother. She is very right!!! \n\nMy advise is....don't get caught up in the whirlwind of the lies. They only get bigger and better as time goes on. If he's doing it now and says he'll stop, he'll do it behind your back! Cut your losses and find someone who truely cares about you and your feelings!!!
517027
NOOO!\nWhy ruin her husband's (who hopefully loves her) relationship?  No offense, but she sounds like a very selfish person.  I wouldn't even want to be around someone like that.\nTell her that she is being completely unfair to her husband.
255102
next time get her to email or write her requests to him, than take this to his lawyer. \nOk not sure about where you live or the laws there but here they can do a divorce without one of the party even present. If they have been notified of the time and place for the final ruling thats all that needs to be done. Your BF could go and get it settled even if she refuses to go or agree to it.\n\nAnd yes he needs to think and know its time to back off from this woman she is not his anything anymore and if he pays her she will just keep wanting more forever!
592349
I was in a very simialar situation with my ex  and sought advice from my divorce attorney. He recommended that the only way to legally stop him is to take out a warrant for slander and difimation of character at the local magistrate offfice.  Her divorce attorney can advise her on the best way to proceed from there, if she can prove everything that he has been saying is a lie and she has plenty of emotional support for her through this, I didnt but  i would do it all over again.
300672
Why waste your time confronting her when it is him that your really mad at.  She didn't force your husband to cheat with her, she just happened to be the one he cheated with.  After all, who knows what story your husband told her.
70326
Go get yourself a divorce, and file for custody and child support. The courts are usually behind a woman who wants the best for her child. If he's a truck driver and on the road a lot, I have a feeling everything will go in your favor. Just remember, get yourself a decent lawyer, one who works in your county and knows the judges in the courthouse. Most importantly, do not slander your soon to be ex- husband, be calm, cool and act intelligently. Sounds like he has an anger management problem... you will not have to tell anyone but your own lawyer, chances are he will become angry in court and he'll be his own worst enemy.