a naked blond walks into a bar with a poodle under one arm and a 2 foot slami under the other. she sets both down on the table and the bar tender says "I guess you wont be needing a drink" then the lady says....
133766
Amazing the things you find on the internet when you look...\n\nThe joke that Bender tells but never finishes (while crawling through the ceiling) actually has no punchline. According to Judd Nelson, he ad-libbed the line. Originally, he was supposed to tell a joke that would end when he came back into the library and said, "Forgot my pencil", but no one could come up with a joke for that punchline.
556553
If the waitress was blonde and you spilled it on her you could have blonde on blonde, that is if you are a Bob Dylan fan. It might make more sense to order your coffee brunette with blonde highlights(for the cream). You could order a newspaper that is read. Salad dressing that is Bleu. Instead of having your meat browned, you could ask for it tanned. Do you want the inside of your steak pink or rose colored, like your glasses?
358716
As long as the bar staff is safe from freaks attacking them, it's OK!
333899
She probally does not want to make the mistake of not knowing who you are at the bar. She may just want to see you first before she goes anywhere with you. Just come up to the door and make sure you open the car door for her. Don't worry so much if she wants more then she will let you know, trust me. Good luck.
23814
If a Guy walks into a bar he would say "ouch".\n\nIf a Guy goes into a bar he says "Did I leave my woman in here last night?  'Cause I woke up with a dog!!!\n\n(HA HA)
662922
Hey...bartender! Let me have what she's drinking.
459567
Because alcohol is lighter than water.
481567
how about a graceful and wonderful personalitied woman naked? or is that not an option...
674162
Godd... you stink!\nQ: what language do dogs speak\nA: Barkenese\n\nA blond driver is driving and a blonde cop pulls her over, the cop asks "can i see your license"\nthe driver asks "what does a license look like?"\nCop says: "it's square and has your picture on it." then the driver pulls out a square compact mirror and hands it to the cop.\nCop: "Well, if i knew you were a cop, i wouldn't have pulled you over!"\n\nQ.Have you ever seen the movie Constipated?\nA.It never came out.
114599
Between the time the bartender told you to leave, and when the cops arrived you must of had an opportunity to go out the door. That action would have shown you intended to comply with the bartenders order, you wouldn't have been ID'd, and no complications. Usually bartenders are legal agents for the owners and have the authority to remove patrons without giving a reason for doing so. It may be a place that is open to the public, but not public property. \nFind another place that is more relaxed.\n\nThe usual conversation:\nCop:(to you) Did this bartender tell you to leave?\nYou: Yes.\nCop: Then why are you here?
594253
So a duck walks into a bar and asks the bar man "you got a grape?". The man replies "sorry but we don't sell grapes", the duck sighs and walks out.\n\nThe next day the duck returns back to the pub and asks the same question, "you got a grape?", the bar man replies "i told you yesterday that we don't sell grapes here, now get lost". So the duck turns and walks out!\n\nThe following day the duck enters the bar again, but before he can ask his question the bar man shouts at him "if you ask me for a grape again i will nail your beak to the bar, you got that?".\n\nThe duck looks up at him and says "got any nails?", "no" replies the bar man.\n\nThe duck pauses, "you got a grape?"
202096
A Blonde went into a Department Store. To buy her boyfriend a Birthday Present. She walked up to the clerk. And said i want to buy this TV , its my boyfriends Birthday. The clerk told her to leave, get out of the store. so couple of hours later. she comes up and says to the same clerk. i would like to buy this TV. The clerk said i told you to leave the store. and not come back. so the blonde leaves. and returns wearing a wig. and tells the clerk she wants to buy this TV. The clerk said i told you to leave this store and not to come back. And the blonde got pissed and asked him how did he know it was me. the clerk told her well for one that's not a TV its a micro wave oven
110859
that its hairy and an animal and is living
243050
They probably don't even know cause they are probably in some bar drunk
588257
Hi, \n\nCertainly would!!\n\nWe could catch a cocktail...\n\nAnd hang out at the bar if you like?\n\nCheers!!
254268
ok so a poloar bear walks into a bar and said "i want a GIN........and ........tonic" the bar tender said "whats with the big pause" the bear said "IDK..... My grandpaw had them too"
117416
A guy walks into a bar with a salamander on his shoulder.  He asks, "I'll take a shot, and a cup of water for my buddy Tiny here."  The bartender asks, "Why do you call him Tiny?"  The guy answers, "because he is minute." [pronounced mi-nute]\n\nGet it?  Mi-nute, minute meaning tiny. My newt!  \n\nIt is so corny that it doesn't always translate to the written word.  It needs to be said out loud.