Ok, I have only slept with one person and that is my wife. I am now 27 and have been with here since 1997. I have been fighting this urge to sleep with another woman for a few years now. Dont get me wrong I love my wife but still....\nI dont want to hurt her. What should I do?
136338
Keep up the good fight don't give in . The fact that you are asking is good, just think what if you give in catch something or get them preggers . Then you have to face the love of your life with the disgrace you hurt her.  Next time you get the urge imagine her screwing another man and how you would feel maybe that will give you a stronger incentive.
452236
Alright heres the deal. You need to realize that having urges for your SIL is normal. Just because you have a wife that you love doesnt mean that suddenly you will not be attracted to other women. You are human. It does NOT mean that you two should do anything about it. Simply say to yourself, "Yes I am sexually attracted to my SIL and, NO I will not act on it." Knowing these things will actually make it easier on you and trust me, a couple years down the road, after having not transgressed, you will feel like a million bucks for resisting.\nGood Luck Dude
443925
i am married .. and only have one partner , for many years there is still excitement and love .. i dont think you feel any thing with a one night stand ..
355341
I love the lack of answers!!\n8, and I'm 20. I deffinately consider myself to be a guy that sleeps around alot.\nHOWEVER. This is not something I am proud of. I regret alot of the things I've done, and although I enjoy sex as much as the next guy, I'd much prefer fewer partners for longer periods of time.\nDo you mind answering something? Whats the ideal answer you're looking for?
365670
I definitely think it's possible to have strong feelings for more than one person.  We're only human.  But I think when that happens we have to make a concious decision about who we want to be with, and then move on.  Like, weigh their good and bad qualities, and see how you really feel about them deep down inside.  When you've made your decision, after considering every single aspect of it, then move on.  Don't what if, don't wonder how it would have been.  You CAN develop feelings for more than one person, but I don't think it's fair to keep dwelling on that if you're with someone.  Attraction happens, lust happens, feelings happen, but that doesn't mean we have to act on it if we're in a solid relationship.  Good luck! :o)
121273
I will try to open my heart to your question.do I cheat now? No there is no one to cheat on,but if there was I wouldn't now.But I cheated onmy first 3 wives over a 15yr. period.Why? The thing I remember the most,she did nothing to cause it,and I always felt guilty afterwards.\n I guess as I look back on it now,it confirmed the idea that other women found me attractive or handsome.
595354
I have fantasized about being with another woman. Yes, my husband was the first to know. And it was more than one occasion, however, I have never been with a woman, physically. Not the one friend I have fantasized about or the celebrity/entertainer in our area.
275295
It seems as if you have a very strong desire to remain faithful to your wife.  That is definitely a good starting point.  I would not, however, do as one person suggested and ask your wife to not bring this friend around anymore.  Doing that would only serve to justify (in your wife's mind) her fear that you may do something with her friend.  And, I would not have a sit-down conversation between the three of you either.  This route may make any already sticky situation far worse.  The fact of the matter is...this situation exists solely between you and your wife.  Having said that...here are a few suggestions.\n\nFirst, your wife seems to be at a point (emotionally) where she needs some very strong reassurances from you.  I believe this is where the two of you need to start.  Though you have not metioned how long the two of you have been together...I am assuming it has been quite some time.  The fact that you have children together only serves to lend credibility to this assumption.  I am going to go a step further and assume that because the two of you have been together for quite some time AND have children...the time that the two of you share intimately has decreased tremendously.  This is neither a bad thing...nor is it unusual.  Life has taken over and each of you spends more time tending to the responsibilities of life than you spend nurturing the bond that brought you to this point.\n\nIf the above assumptions are accurate...then I would suggest shifting gears a bit.  If your wife is, in fact, seeking some reassurances from you...I will tell you that the physical, mental, and emotional ones will go alot further than the verbal ones.  Yes, you have stated that she does not have to worry about what you may or may not do with her friend.  However, have you done anything physically, mentally, or emotionally that would serve to back-up your verbal statements?  If she is truly concerned about this issue...it may help if you let her see and feel your commitment to her in addition to hearing it from you.\n\nArrange for a night where the two of you are alone.  Bring her flowers, take her out for dinner (or actually make a dinner for the two of you), make her your sole focus for the evening, and let her know just how much you love and appreciate all that she is to you.  These are simple things to do.  Unfortunately, many people overlook the value in such simple things as the demands of life increase.  If you were to take the time to do the above stated things on a regular basis...I am sure you will find your wife's insecurity would diminish.  Good luck to both of you.
420991
I'm in the same boat as you and think you should keep away from fornication. Waiting until your wedding night really shows your new wife that you have waited your entire life to be with her. Sex has nothing to do with love; it is lust and really shouldn't be a factor outside of marriage because both participants know fine well after they have sex they have nothing moer they can give to one another. Outside of wedlock shows they are struggling to keep their relationship going. I know I may sound ignorant but thats the way I see things, it's the way I raised myself. Thinking of showing my devotion to my future (hopefully) wife rather than pleasing my own lust.
157453
thats fine i guess...I met someone over the internet as well and we slept together after seeing eachother twice! I was a bit messede up after that, but things are going ok...we are not together though, but things are slowly moving to the next level...Dnt feel bad about being attractive to someone...as long as you used protection tten i dnt see what the big deal is...I asked a similar question not too long ago. And see...you guys are still together... And dnt take what Khalidnm2003 said to heart...When guys do it it's great...But as soon as a woman enjoys her sexual self we are referred to as $luts! You dnt need people bring you down...Plus you are a grown woman so why the heck not...Power to you sister!!!
33786
Been wondering the same thing for a long time, sweetie. I mean what difference does it make to anyone else who you or I choose to sleep with? I really don't care who sleeps with who (or should that be whom?). I really doesn't matter all that much. The only ones it should matter to are you and your lover...the rest of the world can just p!ss off!!!!
491677
I feel the same about my wife.  I still love her but I look at other women & find them sexy & want to be unfaithfull but I have never done it.  It's a difficult one but all we are doing is denying ourselves a beutifull sex life.  I think all that you could do is have casual sex with no strings & try not to let your partner find out.
422193
it is possible to be in love with more than one person. i am guessing you love your spouse and are comfortable with them. and the other one is more exciting now since it is new.that excitement will wan. try and picture yourself with out your husband and examine how it really makes you feel. you have to weigh the pros and cons. good luck i have been there
147812
Ok, in my opinion the answers that you have gotten thus far are really cliché! This is coming from someone who has been there, done that, and my fiancé and I are still happily engaged.\n First, let me say that threesomes ARE risky. NEVER try to use a threesome to fix anything wrong in a relationship. If there you are already having issue, it will just amplify it!\n However, it does not sound like that is the case in your relationship. It sounds, from what little you wrote, that you have a healthy relationship and this other woman is putting these thoughts into your head. \n Here is what I would advise. First, find out if your wife is interested. Bring it up when you have not seen your friend in a day or two, and do NOT mention the friend. The reason is that if you do mention the other woman, and your wife does not want to do it, she will never trust you or her friend again, regardless of your intentions. \n Now, if she is interested, the next thing that you need to say to her is that it is an interesting idea, kind of a turn on, but you don't think you could actually go through with it. This may not be 100% the truth, but the fact is if you seem eager then she is going to react very negatively. Let her lead the way. If she is interested, once you have broached the subject, it will come up again. Try to avoid suggesting the friend, let your wife do so. Basically, you want this to all be her idea. The reason is that when it is done she is more likely then you to have issues with it, and if she feels that it was her idea then she probably won't. If she feels that you in any way pushed her into it, however, and there are any regrets, they will lead to resentment, gutanteed!\n Next, if you do decide to do this, set boundaries. Talk about what you are both comfortable with. If you cannot talk about this in detail without arguing, then don't do the deed!!\n In the heat of the moment, make sure you stick to the boundaries. You can always discuss them afterwards, and relax them in any future encounters.\n Finally, try to make the experience as enjoyable as possible for your wife. If you and the other woman both concentrate primarily on your wife's pleasure, she is much more likely to enjoy the experience, and you are much more likely to have a repeat.\n Good luck!!
134490
That is the worst idea I have ever heard.  Why would she want him to have sex with other people? Sounds like she has some issues and that is not a healthy lifestyle for you to be getting into. Since you are asking, I would say deep down you probably have your own reservations about it and know the answer already.
211203
it sounds like they want to sleep together, so if you aren't comfortable with that, you should communicate it clearly with your wife and friend.\n\nsome cultures are more flexible and wouldn't have a problem with those 2 getting it on.
47758
Oh you too hah sista girl.   I agree with Malfean,....deep within (and if you are honest with yourself), you would like to know what it would be like to experience a sexual encounter with this individual you're fantasizing about. Been there and came damb close; however, I've realized that.... this was all I pictured him for (sex and a little intimatcy....hugging - kissing)....there was nothing else....no visions of hangging with friends together, walking in the park, dinner and the movies, sitting up together on the sofa having good dilogue about whatever, bringing the paycheck home to you (hello..).... it was just sex, good sex, more sex and sex....I tried picturing doing other things with him and the imaganation didn't go that far....why???.....well, your soul mate (and that's your husband) have and will probably always supply you with those little things that truely matters. The things mentioned above (hangging together..etc.) will go farther than a good quick fix in the sack. I know it's just fantacy...but sometimes you have to see it for what it truely is...you'll realize it means nothing...so let it go.\n \nNow sometimes our spouses becomes less attractive to us over the years depending on how much they have let themselves go in appearance or how lazy and boring they may have become,...so we fantasize about someone who is just the opposite of your spouse; however, I've learned that if I'm to be in this thing 'til death do us part', I benefit more by talking to him (my spouse) about what we can do to make daily interaction with each other more exciting.... therefore, bring that excitement to the bedroom later on.....\n\nGirrrrllll...look at me giving advise about something I need to work on myself....but non the less, I know it's what I need to do to keep thoughts of other men out of my head when I'm with my husband. (Oooh, I did say other MEN hah....ummm...I mean that man...)..SMILE!!!!.... It's working though.\n\nSo good so far. It may get tough at times, but keep your interaction with each other positive and exciting...laugh a lot...it helps.