I cheated at the very beginning of the relationship but then we weren't serious neither did I know we would be this serious. But we are now and I love him with all my heart and I would never want to do anything to hurt him so I don't want to tell him. So in a relationship built on trust and communication do I let this off my chest or do I keep this betwwen me and myself. He has no way of finding out by himself but I don't want to be a hypocrite.
123986
it sounds like this is really weighing on your mind.  i am a believer in honesty at all times but wouldnt want to loose a man i was really in love with.  You know your boy friend. think hard about what his reaction may be if you do decide to tell him. If you think he will forgive you maybe tell him?
102375
Cheating!  And look what's become of you as a result of being with a person you don't, and should not trust.  You cannot stop someone from cheating.  You can however control yourself. Time to move along.  Better to be alone than to be driven to insane behavior.  Sure relationships require work, but not hard labor.  Is this how you want to live you life worrying and snooping?  There really are honest, true men out there, and there is one waiting for you.
9765
Have you slept with him yet?  You are sure that you love him?  Im sure he loves his girlfriend right now, but is it really anything serious?  If you could be with him right now, would you?  If you can, tell him and see what he says.  You wouldnt be messing up his relationship if he loves you, well you would be, but if you think you are a better replacement, go for it.
584742
Honesty is always the best policy and you should never break someones trust, once the trust has gone, it never returns. If you or a partner has cheated once it will not end there, they always think they will get away with it again or be forgiven again. If you forgive once you will never forget.
251548
My Husband never cheated, but if a husband was going to cheat I'd rather know. If its over its over,he should be honest enough to tell you.Two things to be done after that , either forgive him and NEVER bring it up again. Anyone can make a mistake once, only a fool does it twice.And personally I would not stay married to a fool.
200987
why would you even want to continue a relationship with someone who is cheating on you?  That would be the first red flag.  the second red flag would be the restaurant experience.  Also, you shouldn't share bank accounts with someone your dating....thats kinda dumb.  if you have any common sense, you would cut your ties.
359341
don't really know, never cheated on anyone, don't understand the need to cheat.  i figure if you feel like cheating then you shouldn't be in a relationship in the first place.  but maybe him being in a relationship with you is just a way of him boosting his own confidence up a little for personal braggin rights such as "yea, i got a girlfriend".  either way just dump him and move on
423029
I don't think that you were wrong for telling your boyfriend about it.  I know that I wouldn't allow any of my friends to bad mouth my b/f.  I do, however, think that the things that go on in your relationship should stay within your relationship.  If you're having problems with your relationship, talk to the person involved (your b/f) about it.  Keep outsiders on on the outside.  They will only make it worse and make it more than what it truly is.
643730
Uh, imagine the opposite.  Dishonest and closed communication doesn't sound like an entertaining and enjoyable experience.  I think the bigger question would be, "how can I be open and honest with my partner when doing so would not be an enjoyable experience?"\n\nTo that is the ponderance of many a couple.  And, that's why relationships are tough.  It takes a long time for people to open up and be truely vulnerable with the ones they love.
311116
At some point you're going to have to face what you did, I mean were there other people who saw who could tell your man, or do you think this person you kissed will take it personally. I understand what happened, we all have done some stupid stuff drunk. I would talk to the guy you kissed, no matter how uncomfortable it maybe, the last thing you need is this guy thinking it meant something and harassing you, you need to draw the line and say it was a mistake (who knows maybe he thinks it was a mistake too). As for your man, it's up to you whether you tell him, although IF there is even the SLIGHTEST possibility he will find out from other means then YOU need to be the one to tell him if you hope to stay with him, he will think more of your honesty if you come out with it than he will your dishonesty if he finds out through someone else. ALTHOUGH IF there is NO possibility he will find out I would say keep it to yourself, there's no need to drag your guilt out and punish him, believe me I know my boyfriend told me about some girl he had sex with then afterward he said, I feel SO much better for getting that off my chest, yeah well then I felt horrible and I wasn't the one who had done anything wrong!
669228
You should speak to your significant other to see what they believe is too much.  Some people have different views of what is cheating and what is not. If nothing else just ask yourself "Would I be ashamed or afraid to tell my other half what I am about to do?" Trust your gut instinct.
236449
No. He's basically hiding things from you. You feel like he should be able to tell you anything. But because he's keeping things from you, its like he doing something behind your back, like cheating. You may be feeling a little insecure but its only because he's making you feel that way.
554662
say NO. Once a cheat, ALWAYS a cheat. If he cheated then, how do you know he wont cheat now? If he lied then, how do you know he wont lie now? If you DO go back out with him you'll have to walk on eggshells the whole time because you'll be wondering in the back of your head "was he really where he told me he was, with the people he told me he was with, or was he somewhere else with somewhere else" Which saying those thigns to him or asking him alot will just lead to fights. A relationship is nothing without trust and it takes a long time to re-build trust after someone cheated/lied to you. Find someone out there who WONT do that to you, this guy sounds like a loser, and there are millions of guys out there that arent losers, so go find one! good luck!
262042
Dont play with his feelings like that cause someone could get hurt. Just tell him and get it over with. Cause if you do that, he will think that you are full of games. And being dishonest is the worst way of starting a relationship.
563043
Actually, the only way to know is to ask. There are no foolproof ways to tell if someone is cheating. Even an "eyewitness" might have the situation all wrong!\n\nSome people in similar situations find that confronting the person and being upfront with their feelings is the best way to sort things out. You may want to explain how you feel and ask him how he feels about the situation. One thing to keep in mind when talking about cheating — especially when you're not sure if it's true — is to avoid sounding like you're making an accusation. For instance, instead of saying "You're cheating on me, aren't you?" you can say something like, "I've got this funny feeling. I hope it's not true."\n\nRemember, any time you confront or discuss your feelings with somebody you are taking a risk. You may feel vulnerable or may get hurt in the process, so you need to decide whether knowing the truth is worth the risk.\n\nHope this information helps!
639924
If the real reason is just to let people know and not to gain anything yourself, most of the time I would say it was okay.  I trusted someone for years, with my deepest secrets only to find out they were telling everyone.  No one was nice enough to tell me what she was doing behind my back.  I would have appreciated the honesty.
172994
If he's convinced that you've been cheating on him and can't be persuaded otherwise, then he has trust issues. If he doesn't trust you, how strong is your relationship? \nAnd do you really know what he's thinking? You sound humiliated, and what you really need is a heart-to-heart with your boyfriend. So many problems can be sorted by talking openly and honestly. If you love him, then you have to be able to come to him with your problems. If you're not comfortable and instead would rather ask random people online to help you with relationship issues, then what does this say about the strength of your relationship?