philly philly had a nine inch willie,he suck it in his neighbours door..she thought it was a snake , cut it off with a rake now philly has a 3 inch willie...
128759
the gilligans island theme is pretty hot!!!  lol
616680
lol funny. But I already heard that joke. Only that the dog was a rotweiler and its name was God. and the burglar says: "WHo names a parrot Queen Elizabeth?"\n"The same people that named the Rotweiler God."\nAnd that's the version I heard.
172473
take a knife and chop off the extra 8.5 inches u dont deserve, by the way are u a donkey with such a llong penis
111401
Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall,\ndown at his local shopping mall,\nwhen he spotted a Sheila 6 feet tall,\nwho said, "Here's my number Mate, give me a call!"
278891
This is typical of the Phillies. They started off terrible. Then they went on a run winning 13 in a row. They've been stumbling ever since. \nThe problem seems to be that the so called team leaders don't know what "hustle" is. Bobby Abreu and his 13 million has never put any effort into chasing down a fly ball near the wall. He along with Pat Burrell and Mike lieberthal can't hit in the clutch ever. David Bell ain't much better. I can't wait unitl Gillick cleans house.\nThe young crew of Howard & Utley are carrying the team. \nThese older team leaders are who drove Bowa so crazy here, but Ed Wade had no idea what he was doing and ran the team into the ground. I have faith that Gillick can fix it though. He seems to have the same mentality as a lot of us fans.
673669
Maybe he still needs a tube in it for it to drain.  Take him back to the ENT or at least call his office.
102856
A Furbie, actually three of them, from my Uncle.  I was 19 when he gave them to me.  I was like WTF are THOSE things?  They were cute until he put the batteries in them.  After a half an hour they were no longer cute but annoying and I was ready to kill them.  Eventually they all had 'accidents' including the one that caught fire.  It really wasn't on purpose that they were bad or wrong, my Uncle hasn't ever seen me as 'grown up' and I get some weird stuff from him all the time.
103759
A SNAKE!!!!!\ni win win!!!!!!
206627
I am not sure if it was a new one but it was a good one. The new partner, whatever his name is started dating a paralegal there in the office and she kept saying vagina to him. Like, "okay, dinner sounds great and then we can go back to my place and you can see my vagina". He thought this was weird and told her he couldn't see her anymore. Well, he was so hot for her that he changed his mind and she told him quietly in the inner-office that she wanted hin to say the word and he wouldn't so she said never mind and walked away. He was so sexually frustrated that he shouted out in the office in front of the other partners, "Vagina"!\nThat was only part of it but I have to go...sorry
210254
Once upon a time all dogs were invited to\na party. When they arrived at the party\nthey were required to leave their\nbutts at the door. All the dogs hung them\non hooks by the door.\nThe party went on and the dogs were\nhaving a great time. All of a sudden\na fire broke out. The dogs raced to\nthe door and grabbed whichever Glutaeus Maximus\nthey could grab first,\nIn an effort to find their own Glutaeus Maximus.\nthat is why, to this very day,\ndogs sniff each other's butts!!!!
344420
Forget the Cowgirls it's good that they lost to my team the SKINS!!!!!! we booted them cowgirls out of town with a 47 yarder go SKINS!!!!!!\n\nYou're next Philly
553512
LOL, I'm assuming you mean cockroach. This reminds me of something that happened when I was just a child. I'd say age 8. I remember my mom putting on her hairdryer. They had those shower cap looking things with a big tube attached to it. Anyway, next thing I know she rips that thing off her head. Opens the drawer and grabs a q-tip. Sticks that q-tip in her ear. Next thing I know a spider comes running out of her ear along that q-tip. lol. Oh man that was 40 years ago. I think it traumatized me. I'll never forget that moment. Try a q-tip. Go easy as to not squish it. If you meant another kind of roach. Well that's another story I'll save for another time. =)
562935
LOL...I live next door to the scary cat lady :0) She keeps feeding the stray cats in the neighborhood and letting them have babies in here garage!!! Not to mention the 5 she has in her house!! All the strays are pooping in my yard and then going to her house to eat...GRRRRRR......no wonder her boyfriend left her and she's now a scary cat lady AND an alcoholic. Not to mention the fact that she's just plain weird.
657527
That really was like a great show, the person who said it sucks needs to go swallow a knife! Great show, donno what happened
651100
We were out "camping" in a trailer... My cousin and I spent the whole day fixing it up and making it look nice for the next day when the family would arrive.. Late that night we were fixing something underneath the "sink" and we heard a rustling.. so we were looking around all the cabinets to see what it was.. I opened up the fridge and this HUGE flying squirrell came rushing out and it smacked into my cousin and got caught in the curtains...   it took us 4 hours to get the poor 'lil guy back outside... Then he kept trying to get back in, finally he got the idea and ran off to wherever.
650185
LOL, Yes, I too am a die hard Steeler fan. My wife and I just moved from our first apt together to our first house. When we were looking, she got so frusterated because I wanted a 3 bedroom for just the two of us. One for us, one for my computer, and one for my steelers stuff. LOL, now we live in our 3 bedroom and I got my steeler room!
111553
Yeah I had a pet rat and i picked it up and it got scared, so it bit me. They are not that bad, they are red for about maybe a day and they are about 1/2 an inch apart, If you got bit by a mouse or a rat that was just in your house, not a pet, then you should probably go see a doctor. But unless it had a disease or somethin you should be okay.