i'ts been 2 years but i'm still not over her and now with any girl i have interest in i find something about them that reminds me of my ex, and i cant stop finding these things. its stoppping me from being happy. please only serious answers here.
127257
Find someone knew and get distracted.\n\nI know it sounds trite, but remember when your hampster (or other pet) would die and your parent's would buy you a new one to make you feel better? Well, it worked, didn't it?\n\nA new love will distract you from the pain while you heal. Next thing you know, you'll be over it.
525016
When I was 16 (I'm 19 now) I was madly in love with a guy from school. He broke my heart, and I was so devestated. I was insanely depressed for 3 weeks and after 2 months appeared happy but I was still so miserable inside. I was obsessed. I couldn't stop thinking about him for even a SECOND. I spent a year of my life with him on my mind, 24/7. Sometimes I'd wake up in the night and not be able to go back to sleep because his memory was so painful and I couldn't get him off my mind. Even when the pain of losing him was gone a few months later, I still felt anger about the situation.\n\nYou want to know when everything disapeared? 2 1/2 years later while at work, I looked to my right and the most gorgeous guy walked in the room. At that moment, my ex's memory disapeared. My mind returned to normal. I fell in love again.\n\nUntil something of that nature happens to you, start going out with friends. Surround yourself with people. Keep yourself busy AT ALL times. TRY to not think about her (even though I know how impossible it can be). Eventually, time will heal your pain.
153016
dude dont feel bad. the same exact fuckin thing happened to me recently. were you sooo in love to where you couldnt stop thinking about her and you would take a bullet so long as it meant that she lived?  you were not wrong in any way shape or form. the best thing you can do is to forget about her no matter how bad it hurts.  it will take a while but i believe that you can do it. if you keep thinking about her its just going to get worse. if you need more advice just e-mail me.  just tryin to help. peace man
436656
Yes it's very possible. However, it's going to take time. \nYou're obviously not over this girl. I really believe that for as long as you're holding on to this girl, you won't be ready for a new love. \nI'm assuming she's your first love? It's going to be hard because naturally we compare everything and everyone to that one person. She was perfect in every way, right? and you want your next to be just like her; totally understandable. But honestly, we can't expect to find that same person again. I think that you may need a little more time to get over her; and I'm sorry to say, but you do need to let her go. It's hard to let ourselves open up to new options and personalities when we're still so engrossed on one option. \nAnd, I'm sorry, I'm not one to tell you how to move on and let go. It took me almost 3 years before i could completely let go of my first. But it will happen, i think the best thing you can do now is find out what you can learn from that relationship and try to figure out how, because of this relationship, you've become a better person. Then use those factors to find what you really need.
536353
yes, u wanna b with her because ur so used to it that its hard to stop, its like a routine that u have going and without it u feel lost and confused, so u should try to find another girl that makes u more happy and maybe then ull b ok to break up with the old gf bc u can then start a new routine, one u actually enjoy :)
180951
DAMN gurl thats the same thang going on wit me! well i think we still like our ex's. we just are being ignorant and trying to avoid them topop up in our heads, y? cuz we regret going out wit them in a way, but at the same time we dont! were mad we broke up and just think we hate them but we dont!!! and trust me it wasnt luv gurl, u still got a lot of yo life left, ull find ur true luv! \n\nhope this helped \nkarina\nnina02-atx@yahoo.com\nps: did yall eva do sumthin that when u think of it u wish u arent thinking of it for sum reason? maybe thats whats bothering u! its botheirng me!
286217
It is hard, when you really like or love someone..  It doesn't go away over night.  It takes time...  Eventually, your feelings will subside..  Give your boyfriend a chance, get to know him better...  \n\nIf you still can't stop thinking about your ex.  Then most likely you are not ready for another relationship....  Take some time for yourself, to figure out what you want and what your next step will be.....\n\nAlso staying busy helps alot and being around family and close friends...\n\nGood Luck!
572875
There is a possiblity that the fact you don't feel the same way with new girls is simply because the first girl was just that--your first girl.  I dated four girls in my life, and didn't find the right one until a couple years ago.  At first, all the girls I dated gave me the same feeling, but it went away, and that was ultimately why the first three relationships didn't work out.  Every time we broke up, I was worried that I wouldn't find a girl like them again, because they were all very wonderful people.  I would go a few months before I found someone else that made me feel the way they did.  But it may take a few tries, like in my case, where it took four tries to find the right girl.  The reason you may feel different about your first girl is just because she was the first one you knew, so that is what you are used to.  The best thing I can say is wait it out, until you find the person that you realize you could spend a lot of time (i.e. a lifetime) with.  It just takes time and a lot of different people until you find the one.  Hope this helps somewhat!
330111
So sorry that you are going through this. I can relate 100%.\nThe pain and depression from a break up can take over your life if you let it.. It did me for a while and I still have my moments. (I was w/ my now ex for 19 yrs.)It has been 9 months since my break up...\n(he also walked out on his 2 daughters)..\nDrugs and alcohol can consume a persons morals and soul...\n\nHere are some things that helped me and some I still continue to do:\n\nWrite a letter to her, but don't mail it, this is for you to express your feelings...burn it after reading this letter.. write and burn as often as you wish.. it does help.. this helps me to let go..\n\nKeep a daily journal of how you feel each day. \nJot down a POSITIVE word to describe yourself (loving, caring, compassionate, outgoing, and so on.).\n\nTake a long brisk walk, go for a swim, go to the gym... do something just for your self, something that you like and brings a smile...\n\nMake a  pro/con list of the relationship you had with her.\ndon't nit pick or sugar coat this list...be HONEST....\nThen make a list of the things you want to find in a woman(NOT HER)..don't over load this list, no one it perfect..\nI had to redo my list a few times....\n\nGo out with your freinds or family, DO NOT ISOLATE YOURSELF from others or life.... it only makes life harder for you!!!\n\nRemember and remind yourself that she chose her life and you can not change her.(I tried to change my ex and waited for him to grow up and change his life for 19 yrs., I lost out on a lot more then just losing him)...\n\nRemind your self that YOU are a GOOD person and you have control of your life, you can't change the past BUT you can change your future and make it happy if you choose.\nYou have control of you!!!\n\nAgain I'm sorry you are hurting so deeply. \nIn time you will feel better and begin to start your life over.. look to make friends with other women first..\nDo NOT rush into a new relationship just to be with some one and not be alone... THIS WILL NOT HELP YOU...\n\nIf you want to chat, email me, I'll be your chat pal.\n\nI hope this helps..
51257
girl it is hard. i have been there. the only thing is to stay busy and try not to think about it. it takes time and it will ease with time. after almost 9 years i still think about my ex every once in awhile even tho i am with the man of my dreams now. you will do it. dont let him make you miserable. if so then he wins. go find something to do and focus on it. wish you the best.
253462
No, I don't long for her, but I sometimes think it was just a shame that it had to end. Now, I have someone I love who loves me back and I wish my ex happiness. I think it's good to move on and not dwell in the past and long for what is gone. So, I really didn't suffer a "lost opportunity at love" - I HAVE it now!
405589
I feel your pain!!!  Keep busy and hang with close friends. Honestly the best way to get her out of your head is to find another. Plenty of us females out here that would love to be on there guys mind 24/7. Just keep looking.
142730
the best thing to do is go separate ways , find a hobby , read, go shopping. i don't think someone else is good right  now. u ha vet gotten over this .give yourself time to your self . plenty of fish out here in this big sea of love. what u do is find a younger gal reminding u of her.
118819
Tell your new girlfriend that you are having a problem.  Explain how you are attracted to her, what you love/like about her, but that for some reason you keep thinking of your old girlfriend.  Explain that you don't really know why.  Then let her know that you need some time to work this out, and that the more time goes on, the more you realize that you're not ready to be in a new relationship after all right now, WITH ANYBODY.  And truthfully take that to heart.  I'd ease off of this new relationship for a few weeks or a month or so, just to sort out your own feelings.  You need to either A) get in touch with some real feelings of grief about losing your old girlfriend and work through them (maybe with a counselor?) and / or B) re-visit the old relationship to see if you should continue.  Either way, it's important to recognize and attend to what's real, your truest and deepest feelings inside.
292126
I feel for you Molly, I have been in that situation twice myself. The one really positive thing in your situation is that you want to move forward.... I know I didn't even want to move on from my first unrequited love, I just kept on hoping that one day she would return my love, which was really stupid since she was straight.  So, I ended up wasting 5 years of my life!  And then, apparently not having learned anything, I fell in love with another girl who was bi, but who couldn't commit to actually having a relationship with another girl.  She only wanted a physical relationship without any emotional ties, so there went another 2 years of my life.  Finally I learned that the only way I was ever going to be happy was if I worked on my self-esteem and learned to trust my intuition.... I had known from the start that both of the girls I fell for were completely unattainable, so really I had nobody to blame but myself for what I perceived as rejection. And I really believe now that subconsciously I wasn't ready for a realtionship, and that's why I was seeking out unattainable people. I needed to love myself and have the confidence to put myself out there in the world, instead of fooling myself that I could find some kind of happiness or fulfilment in unrequited love. I have no idea if you will relate to my story at all or not, but I guess my advice would be to just get out there, meet new people, make friends, enjoy life, be honest and open with yourself and others, and of course love and respect yourself.  Although it may seem impossible to imagine now, you will get over the heartache, but you have to make a conscious effort to do so which you seem to want to do.  I wish you all the very best.  Stay strong! Keep smiling! Love will find you!
280732
Why are you lost? Why don't you know yourself? You just lost someone important in your life, not your life itself pal.\n\nYou are a great guy, strong, full of love, joy, you are an honorable man, you are funny, you are cool, you are a man that can make any girl happy. What happened in the past with your ex is stuff of the past, LET IT GO. If she didn't appreciated all what you offered her, all that good stuff, IT IS HER FAULT, NOT YOURS.\n\nAnd you are wrong, even her cannot do a single thing to you, THIS IS ALL ABOUT YOU. And why are you going to hang out there for a little while to see what people say? You know yourself, you have been living with your self all your life, you know what kind of man you are, you know where you have your nuts buddy!\n\nPain, lots of pain. Pain might lead you to two things: (1) more pain --> death, or (2) victory. Wars involve pain and death, but pain and death leads to victory to the one that is stronger and smarter; and I think that you are from the side of the strong and smarter ones. How do I know it? Because I don't spend my time writing to losers.\n\nStand up and start walking...
53939
Hi.  I might be wrong, but I think most of the love/hate stuff is only in your head, you know.  I mean, it's not like you two have had an actual relationship in all those years, right?  So, I'm not saying you haven't really felt love and hate, only the person you've felt them for no longer exists.  You both grew apart a long time ago - if you were to meet again, you probably wouldn't even know each other anymore, you'd have to get to know her all over again to sort out your feelings.  And you might realize then that she's probably been that way (that would only be new to you) for a while and you couldn't possibly feel love or hate or both for her.\nOkay, I'm rambling.\nWhat to do?  Now that's a good question.  Honestly, I don't know.  I don't know how you get over your history.  But is this something that bothers you all the time?  Or are you just wondering how she's felt since then?