Id like to understand y u do it?\nI mean in my case I'm a very sexual person, I'm not denying my hubby whatsoever, I'm attractive and younger then him? Y does he cont to flirt , talk sexual to other women? Even tho he knows it hurts me and makes me feel worthless?
124490
because men want a get away from what they already have...its common !!!
566048
Rubbish, all these people forcing thier morals on you.  If you feel a need to sleep with him, and you want too, do it.  Yes, he may be married, but, he is not going to stop looking just because you turn him down.  If you seduced him, then you are at fault, if harmless flirtation turned into something else, that is nature.  You know that this is just a physical thing and nothing will come out of it, but a little fun, if your ok with that,and can deal with it at work, then have fun.  Guess what people, the wife knows, she just prefers not to admit it, get real.  This woman is not a home wrecker of any kind, and you should not be bashing her.
491677
I feel the same about my wife.  I still love her but I look at other women & find them sexy & want to be unfaithfull but I have never done it.  It's a difficult one but all we are doing is denying ourselves a beutifull sex life.  I think all that you could do is have casual sex with no strings & try not to let your partner find out.
629151
I believe its a hormonal thing and you still need to feel sexy and attractive to other men.Its quite normal as we get older to still feel like we can or want to get some one elses attention other than our spouses.As long as you dont TOUCH...you`re ok!...Good luck and have fun!
394994
OK, here it is. First of all, ALL men, yes ALL, have fantasies and they all want to have a spicy intimate relationship with the one person they have to chose to be intimate with. Now, all you have to do is gain some confidence in yourself and have some fun turn this issue around to where it's no longer an issue. Yes, I know it's easier said then done. Listen to me, tell yourself how great you are, how lucky any man would be to be with you. You have to carry that attitude around because if you can't feel good and comfortable with yourself, how can you expect anyone else to? Think about it. When you feel confident, you welcome other people to get closer, and when you feel fear, you build an invisible shield that even you can't get through eventually. Stop what you have been doing, because as you can see, it isn't working for you, and put a smile on your face and get what you want! I really believe that your lack of confidence has created this problem. Didn't your boyfriend fall in love with you for the way you look? Well, you are still you, love yourself the way he does...for you. If you lose yourself, he'll lose who you are too, and that makes for a very unhappy relationship.
509731
I can totally relate to where you're coming from. I am also happily married to an amazing guy who sounds a lot like your husband - attractive, sweet, dependable. Yet I sometimes think about other guys I've been with (even brief relationships from back in high school!) or develop big crushes on guys I meet (see my latest post for details). \n\nI can also give you advice as someone who has followed her feelings and tried to "have it all" and the cake, too. A few years ago, I had a very brief affair - which I then confessed to my husband (also detailed in an earlier post). I was very fortunate that he forgave me, and now almost 4 years later we have a child together. The thing is, the affair totally wasn't worth it. Not only did I hurt my husband, who has been my best friend for 10 years, but I went through an emotional hell (and a deep depression).\n\nI can see a lot of similiarities in our situations because I am religious also. That can cause even more angst when these sexual feelings arise, because you feel so much guilt from them. What I've come to recognize is that the feelings are normal, but you just need to be careful not to act on them. It's OK to think about other people from time to time, to fantasize as long as you don't start spending all your energy wanting it to come true. \n\nIn your case, since you've been with this other guy in the past, it would be really easy to fall into it again. My advice is to stay away from him. Enjoy the memories of the exciting sexual moments you've shared in the past, and remember that you're an attractive person to other guys. Use it to boost your confidence and feel good about yourself, just don't act on it. Hope that helps! :-)
194156
First I have to say that kunjaldp's comment was completely uncalled for!  You put your question in the wrong section, but SO FRICKING WHAT?!  If he labels every person who ever makes a tiny little mistake a "loser," then my guess is that he's a really pitiful excuse for a human being and he'll be really lonely (if he isn't already) because NOBODY will ever want to have anything to do with him -- and guess what -- that makes HIM a LOSER!  OK, now that I've gotten that off my chest, let me answer your question.\n\nI have to let you know that I was in the same situation a few years ago.  I'd been with a man for 11 years (he was unmarried) and I was emotionally tortured by his escapades with other women, which he didn't even make an effort to keep secret from me.  I wasted so much time trying to figure out how to make him faithful and how to make him love me enough to treat me the way I longed to be treated.  When it started affecting other aspects of my life (I wasn't sleeping well or eating right, which, in turn, affected my job performance), I sought counseling.  It took a little while, but I finally came to realize that I deserved much better, and as long as I was with him, I was never going to be happy.  Loving somebody shouldn't make you miserable.  After some work on myself in counseling, I got the emotional strength to leave him -- the best thing I ever did for myself!  Yes, it hurt like hell at first, but the good news is that the pain was only temporary.  If I'd stayed with him, I would have been in emotional pain for however long I remained with him.  And a bonus -- I was free to live my life the way I wanted and to meet somebody else (which I did).  Now I'm in a very stable, faithful and incredibly wonderful relationship with a man who treats me like a princess!  So, my advice to you is to first get some counseling to work on yourself (not the relationship) so that you can gain the self confidence and strength to do what you need to do (which is leave the man).  From there, a whole wonderful world awaits you -- you'll see.  Good luck!
540905
In my opinion, it is the highest form of disrespect a man can show his wife! It also opens the door to him partaking in these kind of activities with other females. I don't see how any man can claim to love his spouse when he is willing to share her in bed with other men! Does that make any sense to you?!  He sounds like an unprincipled man to me.
644141
Ugh. \n\nSounds like something my husband and I are going through. Or, maybe I'm going through and I just think he's also going through. Come to think of it he may not know how I feel.\n\nWe just had a baby four months ago.  I feel wiped out, tired, and un appreciated.  I want someone to appreciate me and make me feel good about myself. Not that I don't feel that way, but when a man tells you how hot you are...and how you make him feel...and makes you heighten sexually...it's amazing. And, once hubby stops - ie family and kids. It leaves the woman longing for more.\n\nI doubt she's already done anything. She probably said that to you to see what you would say and how you would react. She was testing the waters.\n\nIf you want to save your marriage do the following:\n1. Surprise her\n2. Find grandma to take your daughter for a week\n3. Take her on her dream vacation\n4. Tell her how sexy she is, and how she makes you feel\n5. Touch her\n6. Spoil her; arrange for breakfast in bed, seaside dinners...\n7. Don't nag - handle all the little details the whole vacation make it worry free for her...trust me, she is in a rut. She needs a break\n\nYou have to show her you still are interested.  Like gets crazy after kids.  And, once you are stuck in a rut --- it seems impossible to dig out of it.\n\nBTW, I would NOT let this go un-noticed. You need to acknowledge her and what she said. No matter how crazy it seems or how uncomfortable it makes you feel. You need to tell her how you feel - or just that you don't understand where this is all coming from.\n\nAlso, don't ask her if she wants a vacation or needs a break. She's going to say no. Women like to think they are super heros and take on more than they can manage. They feel they are inadequate if they don't keep up with so and so...or if they can't meet someone elses standard of what a wife and mother should be.
6045
It sounds like his feelings are all sexual.  You said 'but i don't want to see him', so don't worry about what to say to him.  Oprah had a guest who wrote a book, i believe, "He's just not that into you".  It would be good reading.
595327
This is just something we do. It is the excitement we get trying to flirt with someone we know we can't have.  It is the adrliane rush we get.  Because maybe your wife will give a reaction.  Some women geed of of negative reactions in public.  Don't feel bad if you catch the bad end of it because it is easier to take her frustration out on you because the attention is at you.
133329
For a minute there I thought I wrote this.Or maybe we've married the same man.lol.Why do they expect us to get all....excuse the saying...hot and horny from boob groping.I really cant answer u but please let me know what people suggest.The only suggestion i have is grab him roughly (u know where) when he least expects it.Let's see his arousement then!!!! lol.
97119
First of all, your self esteem shouldn't be achieved or sustained by male attention. You should know that you are attractive and sexy simply by being you. If you don't feel that way, then you need to find out some good ways to achieve that feeling. Maybe working out, or going to the salon and getting some pampering or simply buying an outfit you really like. \n  But if you feel like your husband has taken you for granted and you need some compliments to make you feel appreciated, then you should find a way to communicate that to him. I know when I feel that way with my husband, I tend to get sarcastic and call myself the house-troll/slave. But usually, I"ll ask for what I need from him. Because I know that I don't fall all over him the way I used to either and its easy to get caught up in life and forget that other's need to be appreciated and wanted.\n   Your husband loves you and may not be as sensitive to your needs for compliments. But I'm sure there are many ways he shows how much he cares for you that perhaps are more substantial?  And if not, don't be afraid to ask for what you need. But going to another person(online or not) to get warm words to make you feel good is not going to help your marriage....\nI've also found a good BJ never hurt in the obtaining compliment/adoration department >>:)
432307
I fit your description.  However, I now have a serious problem and am in therapy.  I have never cheated on my wife nor do I want to, but the urge to go do someone else is so intense it is disrupting my life.  \nI had a fairly attractive woman very openly hit on me at a restaurant today (a rare occurence) and holy smokes it took all my strength to not play along.\nIf you are feeling this same way you are not alone.  Therapy will likely help you.  If you don't address it, it will eat you up inside.
672676
They are saying you don`t matter enough to me to be kind and understanding!There is a possibility your husband is mad about something you don`t even know happened and needs to discuss it with you in a reasonable kind fashion.Also at certain ages some men louse sexual drive,he may be embarrassed and is hiding it with avoidance and anger.I would lean towards keeping a close eye on his activities and try to find out what he is so interested in other than his hot wife.There are some real weird people out there and it is amassing how well they can hide there deviant behavior.An acquaintance of mine, husband,liked little girls and left her alone one to many times and she found out.Here is a good rule for married people,if you can`t show your spouse what you are doing on your computer you most likely should`nt be doing it.Get some help ask a counselor in the mental health dept.of a clinic or hospital. Do it,DO IT NOW!
556412
You just need to change the mantra in your head and be actively responsible for your behavior towards your husband.  Ask yourself how you would feel if he was doing this to you. You would feel like you were married to an insecure loser.  If you continue on this path you will no doubt drive him away or at the very least, into the arms of another woman. Men do not like nagging, if you are obsessed with compliments, he will feel you are being a nag and tune you out. If he is tuning you out audibly he will tune you out in his head too, therefore opening himself up to the possibility of another woman. Or he will say to himself, "hmmm maybe she is not that great." Talk about mixed signals, at once you call yourself beautiful and then on the other hand you beg for compliments. Tell yourself,' he is with me for a reason otherwise why would he still be here?' Fulfill all of your dreams with direct action of your own. Do not rely on others to make you happy. The only person that can make you happy is you.
245458
I don't mean to sound disrespectful but... I think it's time to move on.I would say otherwise if he wasn't married but going after another womans husband is wrong and not only that but if you did get to have sex with him again it wouldn't satisfy you only make you want more than a sexual relationship. It obviously wasn't meant to be so getcha grove on girl there are lots of guys that probably would love to go out with you, ya just gotta be patient.