to go to live his mother has told him to leave. he has threatened her and his outbursts  have resulted in damageing property in the house. he is also self abusive to himself   . please give any advice or if you have family members like this and what happened ?he has been sent to me i am a senior person with my husband who is also senior we are in a differant also . he has displayed bad temper and outbursts bad langauge and shouting this makes us ill .
132432
I do not live in NY but they should have group homes for people with mental illnesses, i live in mn and i used to work for a group home that takes in different people with different illnesses, and they take good care of the people also. I worked in a house with 4 people living in it and one was autistic, and even though he had behavior problems the people there are trained to handle it legally and with respect. i know some of the phone book they have a group home listing in the yellow pages, call to talk to the owner of the group homes to set up a appt. to meet with her or him.
94709
catgal,\nI’m so sorry that you had to go threw something so awful, I know how you feel, I went threw a similar situation but it wasn’t my uncle it was my mom's third husband, I wont get into details but I was 12 and it lasted a year. Karma_creadit hit the nail on the head. You should really take her advice. You don’t have to be crazy to go to a therapist, you just have to have some f****d up people in your life. Lol  jk\n\nThink about it this was you got all the hard s**t  in your life out of the way   ;)\n\nDon’t listen to acdc74023, he seems a little F****d up. It sounds like he has a lot of issues of his own he needs to figure out before giving advice to anyone else. Plus i think the only reason he answered your ? was to get 2points (loser)\n\nGood luck with your family\n\nHope I helped
244045
You got married.  Either side with you husband or let him go.  If you want to live with your mother for the rest of your life that's your business but if you love your husband, don't subject him to it.  Let him go.  He's probably hating life right now.
413009
Maybe it is time for you or one of your Brothers to go visiting with Mom and Sis. I think it sounds like there needs to be more communication between you siblings.\nDoes your sister have anyone that relieves her ever? Is she stuck there 24/7, 365 days a year?\nDon't get me wrong, I love my Mother but she came to visit me for a month and I was so ready for her to leave. She is in good health but she lives in the past. She tells the same stories over and over to the point that I had them memorized myself. \nMaybe it is time for your sister to take a long break, since she is verbally abusive to your Mom. She might be feeling that she is entitle to any money because of the time that she has put in.\nSomeone with suicidal tendencies shouldn't be in charge of any one else, little lone a person in ill health.
488376
Dear Mam, I was in a similar situation. I was in another state on top of it. He controlled everything, even the phone. When I got on he had to control the conversation, so my family quit calling. I was with him for 17 years.Because I was afraid of him. Now that is probably what is wrong with her, FEAR. He has probably threatened her and she feels she has no way out. Plus if you were close to her, dont you think she knows too? I missed my mom  sooo bad. Well she passed away before I got to see her after 2 years. He would never let me go visit any of my family alone so I feel for her. I don't believe that she knew what she was getting into. I didn't. He changed after we married.\nMy advise to you is wait and be patient. Believe me its killing her as much as you. To not see her mom I'm sure is hurting her. New Baby?\n She either keeps her mouth shut or they fight alot. Either way there will be heartbreak. Too bad you couldn't find a way to get her out of there but you see when you have more than what you grew up with, its hard to leave. Your daughters husband is nothing but an insecure bully that feels he has power over her. Makes him feel like a big man when you and I both know he's a very small man. Just has a loud voice and knows how to use his power.\nI too couldn't go anywhere with out my husband, he timed me when I went in the store, questioned me as to why it took so long and who was I talking to. He controlled the finances, He told my kids when and where they could go and who they could see and how long, that included church activities. I finally left after much proding from my church friends, 17 yrs later. I know exactly what is going on. I pray that she will come to her senses before that. I'm sure he is telling her that no one else will give her what he has and no one will love her either. Also He is probably demeaning her to keep her down and that she will have no friends no family or self esteem. So she will feel no one will want her so why leave? That is why I never left. I believed him! Why should'nt I? He was my husband and he would not hurt me. Trust me this man is a monster. He is narcisstic, anti social, among other things. \nTry putting an ad in the paper, classified, saying only what she will know. Maybe something can generate from that. Sounds horrible but it may be the only way. If she can't use her phone that will be very difficult to contact you. He keeps track of the phone records too. Believe me this guy is a scarey person.\nSorry this is so long, but there was alot to say. \nJust remember IF you reach her, let her know how much you love her NO MATTER WHAT.
495683
Oh Kirk - you need to get out of there as soon as you can.  You deserve better.  There is help and support out there. No one has the right to treat you like that.  Are there any agencies you could contact ? And please contact your mom or another close relative or someone you feel you can trust.  I guess you much feel totally alone and scared and adults have not exactly been a source of trust for you.  Believe me you need to get out.  I wish I could help  I truly do.  I am in Scotland.  I am not surprised that you feel so bad about your life.  IT IS NOT your fault please believe that.  Contact someone and get yourself to safety.
217857
tell your hubby how you feel. If your not comfortable living there anymore, tell him. Let him know that you have nothing against his mom, but you've also got your lives to think about. You two need time to yourself, need your own privacy, and need your own space. Tell his mom, that even though it's her house, you have rights to, and need your space. You could always move out to a place of your own, maybe your hubby will follow, maybe he just wants to support his mom for the rest of his life. Talk to him, he might have things on his mind about the situation to
603226
Well the eviction notice was intended for his mother(person on the lease). Since her 16 year old son is living there, though she is evicted. doesn't mean that being kicked out of their place doesn't apply to him.  It doesn't matter how old you are you can get kicked out of anywhere. If you're a friend help him to find somewhere to live wether it be with other family or a helpful friend. Since he's under age I wouldn't be surprised if the police step in and send cps to pick him up and put him in foster care.
116528
BEFORE YOU READ THIS,  You accept that I am just giving my opinion, and NOT giving legal advice, else you should NOT read further.  You agree not to act on my opinions stated herein, and seek the council of a legal professional when ultimately making a decision to act.\n\nREVISED.  He has children with your sister?  She is an idiot for allowing him to be a deadbeat.  And he is a lowlife, but not the only lowlife in the world.  They are all over the place.  So...What are you going to do? I feel for you and your situation. I understand how difficult it might be to move, but what choice do you have?  You have to consider your own well being.  If the house belongs to your family, and you sister seems to be in control of the house.  AND chooses to allow him to stay, then what OTHER options are there?  Your sister has to do the kicking out.  You can do it, but it seems you are not in a position to defend yourself.  You need to bring in someone who can help, either law enforcement, or otherwise.  A rich friend or Strong Friend to Kick his A%% out of there.\nThat said...\n\nYOu didn't say who he threatened.  You?  If so, you really need to get out of there, even if you are not convinced he would cause you harm.  If someone says it, they are capable of acting on it.  You don't need to stay there, and yes if he said he would cause you bodily harm, you can call the authorities and have him charged for assault.  Sadly, the police don't and won't do much for you on this. The laws are set up to protect the guilty.  Without witness it is him agains you.  Remember that.  You are in a no win situation really.\n\nYour sister has made a choice to be with this person.\nYOU NEED TO MOVE OUT...\nWhat you do after that is up to you.(pressing charges for instance)\n\nIf you feel she is in danger , call the police.\nIf you feel her kids are in danger call Child Protective Services. (remember they can make someone's life miserable), so don't do that unless you truly feel the kids are in danger.\n\nIMPORTANTLY this is my opinion, and any ideas given here must be taken as such.  If you want real legal advise, you should consult with an attorney in your area of jusisdiction.\n\nYou don't like this guy, and it sounds like you have a good reason, but you NEED to remember, your sister has made the choice to have him there.  YOU can leave. You don't have to stay there, and even if it is an inconvenience, you move and find a more peaceful place to live.  Better for you in the end anyways.\n\nSOrry for you, but you chose to (OR NOT TO) live there.  Your sister is a big girl, let her make her own decisions.\nYou never stated her feelings about this.  Is she scared to kick him out?  Again, if so, she needs to get law enforcement involved.  Restraining orders are a start.  At least then if he shows up, he can be arrested.  This is not an easy situation.  You should try to find as much support as you can BEFORE making moves.\n\nI know this is to the point and a bit sharp, but those are the  real life choices you have to make.  Good luck and best wishes to you!\n\nMove out.
553173
This is called verbal and emotional abuse.  You and the children need to leave with the ultimatum you will not be back until he gets help for his anger issues.
311750
Has he left before and came back?  Then You have to worry.  If He has been violent before, pack some things and You and Your Mom get out.  You know How intense He has been in the past, and what He may or may not have done, before that You need to be concerned about.  Just go to Your Mom and talk to Her, calm Her down, tell Her You are in this together.  If He has been abusive He may have made her think she can't make it without Him.  If You pray, get on Your knees and Pray with Her, that all will be OK, and that the two of You will be Safe, and You Both will make it fine, together.  My heart is with You, no one should have to go through this, especially a Child.  God Bless, and Best Wishes
182873
You seriously need to make some serious changes. You have to create boundaries. It sounds like the requests you have made are falling on deaf hears. It seems to me you are trying to make everyone happy except yourself. Tell them if you are going to live in my house these are the rules if they don't like them they can leave. When your mom came back you could of asked her why are you here? When she said why do i have to tell them to pay the electric bill, it was because she is the one who invited them to stay. The things you are going to have to do will be uncomfortable. Your family will not like the new assertive you. Your mom is dependent on you and you are her co dependent. When she threatened you by saying she was going to leave and you said fine go ahead she was testing you. She did leave but she came back and you let her stay. So now what you say and what she says and your actions don't match. It's like when a parent tells his child no but then lets them have what they want. You have to back up what you say with actions and stick to them. You have fallen into the role of parent. You are not the parent you are the child but now your mom is acting like the child and now you are her parent. I think she should help you more. Do you want your brothers there? You did nothing wrong what i think you possibly feel is guilt because it is your mother and you feel obligated but your not obligated. No one should be taken advantage of.
73118
He has some serious problems with control. I would think if this is the way I wanted to live. He has no right to tell you that you can't do something. He is your husband not anything else. K
635899
Well hunn sounds like some problems for sure.\ni have been in a simaler sitution i hate to say this but the fact is if they dont see a problem they wont get help they wont listen and they want to ignore the obvious but that is not you and yes maybe difficult and mental issues do run in family's i myself had the same problems with my family . the only thing i can say better yourself dont hold on to the anger and maybe suggest  your counsiler request your family  go to a session with you also remeber that as soon as you are old enough move out though maybe hard to do it is easier than you would even imagine just know you can and you will do fine some family's are just stubborn. anyways goodluck and i hope it helped even if it was a little. take care hunn!
628276
I don't know the details but it sounds like you need to sit him\ndown and explain how you see the situation,because now it's\naffecting you. As for his family,don't give in-they have no right to\npush whatever problems they have with him on you.
169884
both. he is emotionally abusive, and you don't need to put up with it.  find a friend or someone to stay with while you save money to get your own place. then if he changes, then keep your own place, and allow yourself to Maybe hang out at his place with him.  that way if he acts bad in any way you can leave and show him it's not a permitable activity
257710
This is an example of an emotionally abusive relationship.  I believe that there are some conditions that make a relationship absolutely flawed and abuse is an example of this.\nWill the person seek counseling in order to change this behavior?  If the person doesn't see the need to do so, I'd suggest getting out of the relationship altogether.  Living in a situation like this will warp you.\nGood luck to you.  I will pray for you.