i have a son with him i love him so much but we have had 4 years of problems. it's so hard to get over the pain now. i want to now if the pain can be healed and the sparks could come back like the first year of being together.
119395
Probably not like the first year of being together. That's a wish that we all have. But 4 years of problems? Have you seen a counsellor together? You shoudl do that before thinking of leaving him. You owe the relationship that much. Also you have a son together so try a bit harder to fix the problems before leaving. The first thing I can think of is seeing a counselor together, the second thing is seeing one alone, the third thing is reading a good book on saving your relationship, and the fourth thing is to go on "date nights" with your husband. Get a babysitter once a week and go out to movies, to dinner, to a bar they way you did the first year you were together.
469006
I've never stopped loving anyone I've been in love with.\n\nThat said, some relationships just are not healthy. I just left one 10 months ago, even though I was in love with them and they were in love with me.\n\nIt has been extremely hard dealing with. I still have to be around them at the dojo, which makes it much worse.\n\nTime does make things better. I can now talk pleasantly with one of them. The other may too, someday.\n\nIt still hurts, but not as much as it did. I still would like to go back to them, but the reasons I left haven't changed.\n\nSo I just deal with it, day by day.
304062
yeh, it's possible. and you can try counseling. i fell out of love. and i don't think it's gonna work for me.
99136
You should talk to him and see if things can be worked out.  From what you said, you did what you needed to at the time and it was probably best for both of you.  He even sounds like he handled it the way a guy who loves you should have.  What you have to realize though is that you are now starting over again so don't compare anything between the two of you to what it was before.  Things will be different and you both will have to adjust.
491208
Time heals all things! I was in the same boat about a year ago. I thought I was going to die, I wanted to die. The pain in my heart made me sick(literally), but then one day I realized hey it doesn't hurt as much as it did. It took me almost a full year to get over him, but now I am over him, and I just met the sweetest guy in the world. You just have to make yourself go out and have fun. I surrounded myself with fun happy friends and just made myself have fun. At first I was miserable, but then I started having a good time. Now I can be alone and not be sad. It just took time. I promise it will get better, just hang in there sweetie. If you ever want to talk, hit me up at clabarre81@yahoo.com.
230695
i understand what you are saying perfectly. after you have been hurt enough times, you don't want to go down that road again....when you are 18 and the first time in love, they really don't get it....at least not yet..........but, remember, if we do not love to keep pain out,,,then we also do not let love in.....it's a risk, but it's worth taking.. good luck
613295
it's very common. we went through the same issues when our first son was born. we still got through it now with our 2nd baby. hang in there.
159403
My story is very much like yours\nI fell in love with my high school sweety\nwe dated for five years, I got pregnant at the same time I wasn't feeling all that in love anymore.\nI married him because I knew it was the right thing to do.\nI struggled for years, not feeling the love for him that I knew I should.\nOur relationship sucked, but he was good to me, totally loved me, was an awesome father and good honest man.\nIn our seventh year of marriage we went into counseling, I found out that I could tell him all of my feelings, hurts and disappointments I felt during our stressful marriage.\nHe cared and we both changed our hurtful behaviors.\nI found out that I always loved him, it just got buried under a ton of stress(having an unplanned child) and repressed hurts.\nAfter we spent a year in counseling, we both fell madly in love again and things were better than when we first met.\nMoral of this story - \nLove takes work\nLearn how to communicate with your man\nLove can go \nLove can come back\nWhen it does it can be better than it ever was\n\nGive yourself time and talk about your feelings\ndoing it with the help of a counselor will help you find your answer and gain greater intimacy with your fiance\nThis is a huge decision - its worth the investment
120594
I lost my oldest son just over 5 years ago.  He was murdered.  I am still not over it & never will be.  The best thing I can tell you is turn to your religion.  That has helped me.  I think God gives us answers on how to go on without our loved ones in everyday things.  Like, this might sound wierd to most, but sometimes I hear (in the back of my mind) my son talking to me or answering a question that I've only asked myself.  I take it as he's giving me advise.  I think I'm living life as my son would have wanted me to live it.  I'm making decisions that if he were here & I'd asked him for his advice, they are ones that he's tell me.  I don't know hon, life goes on & so must we.  Sorry to hear about your loss.  A son, aunt, mother or father, its never easy & nobody has all the answers.  Just take it day by day.  You'll have good ones & bad one.  I've learned to deal with it cause all the tears & sorrow or angry feelings isn't going to bring my son back, just make me a bitter person.  He wouldn't have wanted that.  He was a good young man, 23 at the time & had his whole life with a wonderful career in his sites.  He was brutally murdered.  We just had the trial back in September '05.  It still hurts but like I said... he would want me to do just what I'm doing... trying to be the best person I can be.  Good luck to you sweetie!
69388
my son went through the same thing 3years in a row one was brother and sister .what the kids did was talk about what happened and really was there for each other.theres not much else you can do .just be there for those who need a little more help getting through it.im so sorry
102771
I dated this guy for about a year when I was a freshman in high school. He was my FIRST EVERYTHING. Then we split. All throughout high school, we sometimes got together and at many times, we almost got back together as a couple. I graduated in 1999. It's now 2006 and we had been on and off at times until I met my fiancee, who I am with now. There will always be a special place in my heart for my first but I have found true love now and refuse to think of my first in that way again. Sweetie, only time can heal pain and SOMETIMES the pain will never go away. Just know that tomorrow is another day... take it one day at a time. You'll be fine.
222030
Sorry about the loss of your child.  But I think you two have ran your course and you need to move on.  This guy was not there for you and more importantly your child.  Don't take him back again.  You'll only be setting yourself up for more hurt.
163028
Unfortunately I also lost the love of my life due to some faults of my own.  It took me a long time to realize that I had to let him go.  It was just not to be.  Only then was I able to work on my faults to be a better person all around.  That was a few years ago, I still love him, but haven't spoken to him since, but in a way I thank him for hurting me into getting help with some faults I really needed to fix.  Time is all that will heal.  I would let her go and take care of #1....YOU!  good luck!
415831
Hey Sweetie...\n\nSo sorry to hear your hurting..  I know exactly how you feel hun and it's the worse pain in the world...  Maybe a big long hug off your son will make you feel a little bit better...\n\nThe pain will ware off, it just takes time...   Cry if you need to cry, the more you let it out the better...   Take Care hun and I hope you feel better soon xxx
146983
YES, I do. My husband and I were highschool sweethearts and were eachother's firsts love, first EVERYTHING. We were together for a couple of years and had a baby. About 3 years ago we almost got a divorce, I mean I moved back home with our son and everything.  We were seperated for a hole entire year, we actually had already filed for the divorce...it was in the process. Then one week he came home to visit some family and Ihe and I happened to be in the same place at the same time and we looked at eachother with such pain, but still true infinite love, we got together and talked all night about everything, I mean everything> The people who came between us, the hurt it caused, eveything. And when you find out that your first is no longer the only, it HURTS! Anyway we took things slowly, but we ended our divorce, and moved back together and we are better now than ever. T
661750
Hi Dakota:\nSo sorry to hear all your pain.....but the good part of this is I hear lots, and lots of love going on here.  Wow.  Glad to hear it...and keep it up.  \n\nDon't worry.  Keep busy with some other passion, other then him, and all will be fine.   I discovered all sorts of interesting passions when I was alone.....I actually started to really find me and my daughter, and we had lots of fun, and when my love came back, well he was really happy to see the 'new' me.  I had matured and become 'more' attractive to him because I had another passion.  and our daughter learned from seeing me function and find myself more steady!  She is now much older, but she is very independent now as a result.\n\nIt is hard, and I know you can do it, because lots of us out there did what you are doing.   So, dive out on the internet and look up some of your passions--be it painting, walking, hiking, drawing, find something fast.  and your honey will appreciate you all that much more.\n\nTrust me on this one,\n\nluv Ava
617485
Ugh, been down that road, and I still feel the pain when I remember back.  But, at the moment nothing is gonna make it go away for you, it's still hurting you too much just yet.  \n\nUnfortunately time really is the only thing that will help.  You'll move on, you'll learn to trust another man someday (you just don't think so right now) and you'll find another guy that will make you fall 'in love' once again.\n  \nPatience and time...I wish the best for you.