Me and my boyfriend of 10 years broke he was my first love and we been through alot of shit together we broke up last week Beacause he wasn't coming to see me and when i ask him about it he told me i was eating up his time but i really  love this guy but now i have found out that he has a girlfriend already and he took her out sat and he told my sister that i know her becasue they been friends but i am wondering was he cheating on me a long time ago with her or was he just waiting for us to break up so he can get her i just broke up with him and i am not even ready to move on with anybody else becasue i love him but i guess he was feeling different after a week now u have somebody and u happy and really like her i don't know what to do and where to start someday i can't evenn get out the bed because i feel that is the safe spot to let my heart out i really need someone to talk to i am getting tired of heraing negivate people say we will be right abck together what should i do??????
130313
you should find time.. and catch him in a good mood... you should talk to him.. talk about the things you agree on... and what you do that take up his time... tell him your true feelings about him.... talk about the things you agreed on... ask him.. what he found in her and didn't find in you... if he really loves her more than you... dont spend time crying over him.. there are a lot of guys there waiting for their juliet to come... you have to enjoy life now... and have fun! i guess he already moved on.. and so do you.... so go ahead! keep your head up high and smile... dont waste those tears ever again! :)
245085
Ok this is from personal experience I had with a girl. The thing I'm gonna put my money on is that he's trying to make you jelous because he believes he's run outta options. I hate to be blunt but if your considered a really attractive girl in your school it doesn't matter how goodlooking he is but he may be scared of you, espically of approaching you directly. You also have to think of the way you treated him, you cheated on him, and also you pushed him away when he wanted to talk to him...well now its time to put youself to the test.\nI'm not sure of your age so i'm not sure if you can drive or not, but since your able to still monitor him IE knowing how he acts arond other girls I'm 100% sure he knows this information about his flirting and girl handeling is getting back to you. So you need to choose a night, time, and place and track him down randomly. Talk to him about it, I know the girl I went through with this I did the exact same thing and it would have ment the world to me if she had just tracked me down and come to me to talk about it. You've got to put yourself in his shoes and realize just how much you hurt him, its also possible he wants you to hurt some too since you seem to have been completly unaffected (from his point of view) from the break up. Once you've sat down for awhile and thought this over and you actually understand his pain and the hell you put him through (I know i'm being harsh but it'll help you in the long run) only then will you be ready to talk to him about it and salvage something.\n\nAnd if your not trying to salvage something or you know you'd never be able to handle a serious realtionship with him without cheating its best to just leave this be and go through the pain of losing someone.\n\nHowever from what you've told me about him and how i'm guessing how you feel I think its for the best that you two try and salvage a relationship. At the very least try and follow my advice about trying to put yourself in his shoes and feeling his pain, it'll give you a better perspective on things. \n\nGood luck to the both of you!\n\nFeel free to e-mail me if you need more help
234543
First off, he can't be your boyfriend if he is already with his girlfriend. Right now, you are the "other woman", so to speak.\n\nI would advise walking away from him and getting on with your life. IF his relationship is as bad as he says it is, and IF he LOVES you as much as he says he does, then knowing you are getting on with your life and showing no more interest in him, might very well help him to make a choice. I wouldn't give him any ultimatums either. Just tell him you that you are moving on. If he does end things to find you again, then he was speaking the truth to you. If he doesn't, then you know he was a player...was having his cake and eating it too.\n\nKeep your self-respect and dignity by walking away. By staying while he is still with his girlfriend, you are giving him everything he wants, and you are getting nothing for yourself, except a lot of pain. You are worth much more, you know...and if he doesn't come to you single and free, then believe me, there is some great guy out there that is going to give everything of himself to you alone and no one else, cos he WILL recognise your worth!
628190
Honey,\nI was in the same spot as you once before. I didn't like it. I didn't brake up with him. He wasn't cheating on me either. My online boyfriend broke his leg and was in the hospital for a few weeks. When I found out I was so freakin sad. I felt bad because I sent him e-mails and told him to stop cheating on me and I totally jumped to conclusions. I have never ever done that after what happened those few weeks. I hope you find out that he is not cheating and that he e-mails you and I hope that you and him  have a good lasting realationship.\nGood luck- babe
412451
I was with my last boyfriend for 3 and a half years when I met my current boyfriend. I knew very quickly that I wanted to be with my current boyfriend, so I had to break my ex's heart to make myself happy. (I've been with my boyfriend now for more than a year) It hurt my ex like hell and I felt terrible doing it, but I knew that I wanted to be with someone else. So I had to do it for myself even though I hurt someone I cared about in the process. Just be careful and tactful in the way you say things. Make sure you don't sound like it's all his fault.
256917
You should go ahead and tell him how you really feel. Who knows? He might like you as well. You could give him some breathing space for a while because him and his girlfriend recently broke up. Make your move and tell him. If all doesn't go well, there are plenty of guys out there. It can give both of you an opportunity to tell each other how you really feel and get your feelings out in the open.
144701
U broke up for a reason.... it wouldnt be fair on your current boyfriend to finish it with him just because he comes back on the scene. It isn't easy, but his lost you, urve gone onto better things. Do stay mates tho...you never know whats around the corner, so if something did happen between you and your current c/f, he will still be ther!
98195
I have been there...not exactly in the same circumstances but at 19 My relationship finished and i know the pain you are going through, i really do..it hurts so so much and you feel that there is nothing left for you...i am now ten years older and since my split up with that boyfriend, when i was 19, i have done so much with my life..much more than i would ever have done if i had stayed with him...i have more friends now...have had lots more boyfriend...have had an excellent time... going on girly holidays...travelling...meeting new people...i sometimes wish i could go back in time and tell my 19 year old self how wonderful my life was going to be...I can't do that but i can guarentee that your life will get better and better... you will get to know yourself better, you'll do different things, you'll get excited when you have a crush on some one new...believe me, it will happen i never thought it would when we first split up but i then went on to fancying someone different nearly every month...it was great fun. I am all settled down living with a boyfriend now, all grown up..but i look back on that time and smile..it was great...it will be hard for you but look to the future...don't let him string you along... get yourself dressed and go out with some friends...be with people you like. Life is great, you can make it great with out him. Hope this helps xxx
384833
Oh my GOSH!  I literally just went through almost the exact same thing.  I've been with my boyfriend for two years and I found out about two months ago that he slept with his ex (of 4.5 years) once about three weeks into our relationship.  He was also my first and I was really religious too.  The only difference is that it was he who broke up with her.  It put a huge strain on our relationship for a while.  I eventually was able to put it behind me, but only having a million fights and eventually a sincere heart to heart, where he cried (for the second time in our relationship) and told me how hard it was for him to tell his ex that he didn't want to be with her anymore while she was crying hysterically and begging him not to leave.  I know he has never cheated on me since (we are painstakingly honest with each other).  I only share all this because I can understand how hard it must have been to break ties with someone.\n\nTry to think about if you two broke up for good.  Would you be able to let him go?  Would you maybe sleep with him for a while, not necessarily out of love, but guilt and what's comfortable?  It's really hard to break up and then be emotionally disconnected as well.  I say give him a chance.\n\nI don't know if I answered your question or not, because only you truly know what is right, but you aren't alone, at least know that much for sure.
604086
Your boyfriend is breakin up with you.  I've done it like that b4 myself.  dont need to come out and say it, just let it drift apart n by the time the girl asks whats goin on, i'm already with someone else.
468262
it is difficult because you are making it difficult. you are still obsessing over the idea if you should trust him or not and you should not! he can do the talk but can he walk the walk? i dont think so from what it seems! he seems as though he is playing both you and his ex and he is telling you that he wants to be with you just because that is what you want to hear! if he actually would love you he would act on other better terms and not like a jerk who wants his cake and to eat it too! i have broken up with my bf and so has he with me but none of us have talked with our ex's or tried to play the other person since we are both with our ex's-we are 22 and almost 24! i would not accept this guy's behavior no matter how much you love him since he obviously is not mature enough for you, your needs, his actions or his behavior! he thinks that playing with people's minds is fun, therefore he does not know and i think that this guy at some point will surprise you by cheating on you! do not accept him and all his drama into your life but rather focus on what you have and how young you are as well as that time will not  not come a second time around as well as how you should take care of yourself first and be in a healthy relationship! this relationship from what i can make out of it is not the best relationship so you might want to rethink it and make yourself happy with someone who can take care of you and knows what he wants out of life as well as treating you better than this! if you go back with this guy you are headed for splitsville another couple of times as well as more tension, lack of trust and frustration building! i have given you the info from personal experiences and i hope that at least you consider some of them!
626896
If you think dating a guy after one week of being broke up then think of this, I broke up with my BF and I went back out with him that same day. Talk about pathetic! Then we broke up again and are going back out right now. So I think your relationship is going better than mine is, and by next week I`ll have probable broke up with him again. So do what you think is best for the future relationship you might have with this guy.
463452
ok let me put it this way, how would you feel if you were his girlfriend and he was holding hands, kissing and laying on another girl??? Exactly - its not very nice. And what you are doing isnt very nice. And he is weak because he cant decide between you two and allows himself to cheat when he is involved with someone else instead of being a man and breaking up. This guy would be a loser long term and you are better off without him.
601348
i can understand what you mean as there was something similar that happened between me & my boyfriend but cuz of different reasons...but it was my boyfriend who was in your position & i was on the receiving end...its very tough when someone you love says that they can no longer be with you for whatever reasons...just because we love each other so much, we try to understand & do what the other wants even when thats not something we really want...our mind accepts the situations & tries to adjust but our heart just doesnt wants to let go...you imagine all the things that can go wrong & also how tough your life would be without that person...this feeling of insecurity & depression is terrible...you also began to question that whether that person really loves you, cuz if yes than how can that person take such a harsh & insensitive decision...all this is just a matter of your emotions & you imagine everything thats positive or negatve...when this happens you try to take yourself away from that person & try to act tough cuz you dont want that other person to know that after saying that you understand, you have so many questions going on in your mind...this happened with me & though i really love my boyfriend i was still hurt tremendously by his decision to break up even when i agreed & understood his reasons...i think your boyfriend also is really hurt by whatever happened...its good that you plan to go back to him...i would suggest that you talk to him & try to get out all the pain he is carrying in his heart cuz of what happened...you'll have to shower unconditional love to make him feel secure with you again...treat him nicely, spend time with him & appreciate his presence in your life...just let him know that you belong only to him & there's no one who can love & understand you the way he does...i am sure you'll be able to do that cuz you truely love him...Goodluck!!
54835
It sounds like you might be the reason that he and his girlfriend broke up.  You might as well go for it.  From your question I would say that you are young, and you only get to be young once so you might as well enjoy it.
89092
First off, you didn't cheat.  You were broken up and living your life and moving forward.  Personally I think it was a bad choice for you to get back with your old boyfriend.  He guilted you into it, and the truth is that nothing has changed.  You deserve to be happy and I don't think you will ever be happy with him.  End this relationship and realize that if he wants to lay in your yard and cry that is his choice and your not responsible for him.  You should never feel bad for doing what is best for you.
497672
While it sounds like you once had a lasting relationship with this long term guy, it is obvious that things weren't working for him when he was close to you.  He left you because he didn't want to be with you, nothing more, nothing less.  \n\nAs a guy I know when we look to come back, we all come up with so many excuses as to why we left, how much we now know and understand, how foolish we are, and how much we miss you.  Bla, bla, bla!  \n\nBottom line is if he is smart, he knows how emotionally attached you are/were and is playing it in his favor because he is lonely or that his reason for leaving you (if it was for another girl) isn't working out in his favor (sex only takes a relationship so far). An instant fix is to get back with you until he recalls why he left, gets his booty call from you, or until something better comes along.  \n\nYou are safe with him, but because he left once, it would be a very safe bet he would take off again once his old feelings or someone hotter comes around.  Believe me, if you go back with him, it will happen again.  You would be wasting your time.  Move on!  Holiday season doesn't help with emotional stuff like this.  \n\nKeep in mind, HE LEFT YOU...you owe him nothing not even a second chance.  He should have thought about that when you were asking him to come back before you became involved again.  As a guy, it is tempting to want/take something you feel you can't have.  In a sick way, your sityation offers a challenge for him to see if he can get you back one more time (ego thing) and be better/win over the new guy.\n\nSounds to me like you are very young, (under 25) and got involved with someone new before you got closure with the old guy.  Just as the guy who left you, you are doing a disservice to your new "love" if you even consider being torn.  How would you feel if he was dragging an old flame into your relationship?  \n\nIt seems like you have a real issue of being alone.\n\nIf it was me, I would break up with both or stay with the new guy, but in the future, take 4-6 months off before you get emotionally involved with anyone else.  Today, neither one of them seem to be that special (seems to me like you are carrying emotions for both and have made things complicated for everyone).  If I was dating you and I found out I was only as important to you as a guy who by choice dumped you on your ass, I would be so checkling out!\n\nDo some healing/reading on divorce/relationship recovery and always remember and learn from what your prior boyfriend did to you.  Follow and recall his past and current actions not his words (that stuff is easy).