I have had custody of my 12  and 9yr old chldren since my divorce in 1999. my ex is now taking me back to court for custody. my youngest son has no memories of even living with his dad. I have been living with someone for 2yrs along with my boys, and together we had a daughter in AUG. I was served with these court papers 3 days before her birth.  Does he have a chance?
135195
I'm not a lawyer but I have 23yrs of law enforcement experience. You really didn't give enough info for me to say. It depends on many factors; such as what were terms of your divorce, why he hasn't been in kids' lives, financial support, his reason for sudden interest and any claims he's making to help him gain custody, any personal problems or negative actions by either of you,etc. Assuming you were awarded custody originally and there were not and are not now any extenuating circumstances that drastically change the original status of his behvior/situation or yours or the children and he basicly just decided he wants custody chances are slim the court would change the managing conservator status you hold unless he can show you to be an unfit mother. He might be able to negotiate visitation rights but doubtful the court would disrupt the children's lives without just cause.
516127
huni.. ive just finished a court case.. and yer rite its not nice. but somtimes it gives em a kick up the arse they need.. my ex went for full custody.. when i let him see my son when evr he wanted.. but wasnt satisfied with that.. so after the case he gets 1 nite evry 2 weeks... nothing to wot he had.. and also has to pay maintanance.. no the judge wont side with him hun.. \ni was devastated when he took me to court i thort i was gona loose my son.. hes 9 by the way.. and always lived with me.. and the thort of loosing him put me on prozac.. but i  got threw it and he got nothing.. and if i let him see him more then he is grateful  and so he shud be after all he put me threw..i don want my son to not see his dad but they do make it very very hard for you to get on with things ...let us no how you go on chick good luck x
449480
That is a most unpleasant situation.  \nIs he going for joint legal AND joint physical custody?\nIf he is looking for joint legal only, maybe you can agree to that.  You must document EVERYTHING so if in the future you want to argue for full legal you will be able to do so.  Most judges today rule on joint legal.\nIf he wants joint physical, then you need to calmly look at reasons why not, such as if he lives in a different school district, or if he works long hours and the child would be left with others, etc...\nTry to remember you want what is best for your child.  Your child needs his/her father, so agree to reasonable visition, never be negative about him around your child...your child will grow up and clearly see what is what!\nDon't play into his tactics...as much as possible, ignore him and stick to the issues...fair and reasonable visitation, both making major decisions regarding the child (make sure you put everything in writing and ask him to respond the same way) and helping the child feel secure and loved by both parents.  \nYou can start with your good intentions, document everything so if he continues to play games or try to use the child you can go back to court and request FULL custody.  Visitation will always have to happen.\nGood luck!
329660
I know a lot of states won't allow the argument that one parent works and has to take a child to a sitter and the other parent doesn't.  I went through this same argument with my ex husband.  I worked full time, and he didn't.  The judge said that it wasn't admissible into court as long as I had a safe place for my son to be while I was at work.  The judge then ordered that he had to watch my son when I was at work, so I wouldn't have to pay a babysitter.  Even if you don't get full custody, you can probably get to have your child whenever your ex is working or away from home for an extended period of time-ours was two hours.  The fact that he is a corrections officer doesn't really help him.  The judge is going to look at your charecter more than your job, unless your job is illegal.  My husband is a truck driver, and his ex is a stay at home mom, and we still won full custody of his three girls.  Come on, most truck drivers have a really bad rep of being vulgar jerks, but it didn't seem to matter.  If he is calling the police and claiming you are refusing to return your child when ordered, have the visitation drop off changed to the police station.  There is always someone there, and they make great wittnesses to pick ups and drop offs.  That is what we had to do.  My husband's ex kept bringing the kids home two and three hours late, but as soon as we moved pick up and drop offs to the police station it changed.  Evey time you drop your child off with him, they can give you documentation that you were on time and the child was in good health, ect.  Also, keep a copy of your custody arrangement handy.  That way when he says you're breaking it, you can pull it out and show you are following all of the guidelines it gives.  If you can record every conversation you have with him.  If you can't record them, keep a journal and write down everything he says and does around you.  If you keep it up all the time, not just sometimes, it is admissable in court, and it will give the judge a good idea of the kinds of things he is saying and doing to you.  Just keep on doing the best you can.  It won't be easy, but don't despair.  Let him keep being a jerk about everything.  As long as you document EVERYTHING he will hang himself in court with his behavior.  Good luck and God Bless:)
18254
I wouldn't think you have much to worry about. I have spent many years in custody court. Usually fighting for child support. First off, depending on the state, usually the courts like to keep children with their mother unless she is really unfit. Second off, he is living with his parents. Shows he has no way the keep himself let alone 4 kids up. If he really wanted the kids, he would have to have a home for them, with enough bedrooms, and beds, and be real active in their lives, school, church, activities, etc.. Then he would have to show the judge why they shouldn't be with you, EX.. you are unfit, never home, alcohol or drug abuse present, and that the children are in iminent danger staying with you. From what you have said sounds like you have the kids best interest at heart. Trust me, judges have seen and heard it all when it comes to just using the custody hearings to upset the mother. Be calm and tell the truth. It does work! Hope this helps you!
551801
If you have his first and last name do a background check on him.  You can also request temporary or joint custody of the children, I am not sure the details if you are able to get full custody of the children, but it would be a concern to the court if the mom had ex cons around her children.  Since child abuse is so common in broken home these days, you have every right to have your concerns, and I doubt you are jealous.  You do need to address your concerns with your ex, or at least speak to her parents.  I am almost sure they will agree with your concerns and will intervene as well.  \n\nI recommend you start doing that background check asap, your children's welfare should be a major concern.  Especially if he have social issues.  \n\nI worked in the legal field so what I am saying are facts and not opinions.\n\nI would also like to add to the idiot asshole who made the comment about proper sentences etc.  This is Yahoo Answers, not a English class. You don't have to have a English Major, perfect grammar, or a Degree to ask a Fudging question.  If you cannot be sincere, and use some sincerity when answering serious questions, then go get a Freaking life and play Sims or something, you idiot!  Insenstive piece of shit!
579131
I have joint custody of my son also.  My Ex is primary and I'm secondary.  In the settlement, I get my son every weekend.  I should have also put in there that I get him during my vacations.  This would have made it so that he spend over 105 nights a year with me.  If I had done that, then child support would have been cut and I would also get to claim him in my taxes.  The funny thing is that my son does go with me on vacations but it isn't in the papers so I'd have to refile the child support and who knows what would happen then.  So I figure it's better just to leave it alone.
326405
girl back off and take a look at him. no joke, my ex/and baby's dad, said the same to me. i have had him arrested twice, since sept. 2005, and i have a 1 year restraining order on him and a no contact order against his dad's ex girlfriend, who considers herself his step mother. he's never seen my daughter, and never will! watch out
210523
you need to go straight to a lawyer. I live in Australia so i don't know the laws where you are perhaps living. But you could go to social services or child welfare and tell them that you now have care of the child that your husband has legal rights to. Those rights would also have obligations on his behalf. I don't know how old the child is but asking what they want is a good start and then seek all the professional advice that you have to to resolve this. This child like all children must have love and stability. Going back and forth to dad when it suits him could have long term effects on this child. You never mentioned under what circumstances he was awarded custody. I have to take you at your word as i don't know you but if you love your child and feel that they will be better of with you and you can provide for their needs, all of them, challenge the ruling and do what is right for the child. Someone professional to help your child through all these confusing times and transitions is probably a good idea. Good luck to you and i hope the little one gets through this turmoil with as little scarring as possible. Looks like that's up to you.
651194
Sounds like a confusing situation you are in.  As for him, unless the court says you cannot be around during his visits she and he cant do anything, his visitation time is just that, his.  As long as he is around and wants you to be a part of his child's life and no Court has denied you being there, you can.  \n\nA court can deny you being there if you've got a bad record and she requests it directly though.... and the child doesnt stay overnight in your home, especially if you are trully married.  But honestly it doesnt happen that much.
597290
From everything you have said it is only quite obvious that he doesn't have the stability for custody, however the court will probably give him some sort of visitation because he is the father and wants to see his children. The mother could have stipulations put on this such as court ordered drug testing and supervised visits to make sure that he is staying clean, and considering his past with drugs, the court would be likely do this. You didn't mention if your friend had an attorney. It would probably be a good idea to seek an attorney's advice on this.
83609
I have never heard of anything like this before.  You need a lawyer.  The best case scenario is that you'll bring an action for visitation against whomever happens to have custody of him.  Otherwise, you'll probably have to sue the state.\n\nIf you are a minor, there should be free legal services able to represent you.  In any case, find a lawyer in your area now.
5283
you HAVE to answer to the papers that were served to you.  if you do not, all odds are against you, because it will appear to the judge that you simply do not care.  this requires filing a response with the county clerk, which usually costs a fee - call and find out how much in your county.  if you have kids and are interested in keeping them, you should really use an attorney - the courthouse sometimes has referrals that will go on a sliding scale based on how much you earn, or maybe they will have a payment plan since you are unemployed.  \n\nat this point, assume everything is not in your favor.  everything depends on your particular situation.  was he abusive?  were you?  who has been the primary caretaker of the children, etc.?  judges are mean - they will laugh in your face sometimes if you appear pro se, but i think it's worth it, especially if you win.  also, is there material involved, i.e., houses, cars, etc.?  who wants what?  i would attempt to talk to him if possible and find out what he really wants, i.e., kids - joint custody, or weekends only; house, etc.?
10860
I don't know where you live but I live in Ontario Canada and I had custody of my children. The reason being that I requested the court to appoint the children their own lawyer, it did and because our chidren have rights here they choose to be with me. The childrens female lawyer and my female lawyer fought my ex's femail lawyer and what it all boiled down to was the childrens right to be with the parent they wanted to be with. If a child has the capability of choosing then the courts will or at least should listen to them. I did have a male lawyer but because my ex wife had a female lawyer my lawyer recomended that I have a female lawyer fight for me and for the kids. I won custody and my ex had to pay me support for the raising of the children. More and more fathers are getting custody now cause here there finding out that the mothers do not stay at home with the children as much as they first thought. Aparently the fathers do stay home and do spend more time with their children when they have custody. Don't give up your fight and good luck
123992
You definitely need to contact somebody... Try starting with your local DVACK shelter... DVACK is for domestic violence... Tell them that you are scared for yourself and your child and get a protection from abuse order, he won't beable to come near you or the baby, and you can get your court proceedings started from there. you definitely need to talk to your local SRS office and tell them you want to start the custody to make sure you have residential custody, because if you don't, he has every right to that child just like you do.  He will beable to take her and there is nothing you can do to get that child back until you go through court and ask for visitation. That can take months to do, if he gets the child before you start the proceedings,and no child should go months let alone days without seeing their mother. If you hurry and do that, if he does take the baby, they could then issue an Amber Alert and put his butt in jail! Good luck, but act FAST, seriously!!!!!!!
132212
I have been divorced 7 years and have received about $1000 dollars from my ex-wife. I have raised my son and daughter since they were 12 & 6. My son is now on his own and of course my daughter is still home. I have taken my ex to court 5 times and she still won't pay (it has cost me about $1,500). I have taken the action on my own since she doesn't seem to care. I made up excuses why they couldn't go over but soon relized that she didn't want to go to jail so she didn't do much. It is up to the courts to decide the ultimate outcome. Your children will figure out what is going on as they get older. I found out by speaking positive things about their mother all these years helped me not look like the bad guy. My children now understand what kind of person their mother is on their own. I pray for people like us to prosper in all ways despite having a parent not caring for their own children. GOD BLESS
341383
Don't leave.  Don't leave, don't leave!!!!  Been there done it!  I no longer have custody of my daughter and I pay child support and don't see my daughter.  Don't do it.  ...  I also know that no matter what ppl say, you are going to do what you want.  But when I was your age, I was in the same situation!  Gosh, I pray I could truely speak to you and tell you all I have done and gone through!  You have no idea what will happen.  I would of never in a million years thought I would loose her and now that I am back in the same city as her - I don't even see her!  I haven't missed a beat with sending my child support - I just wish I could see her as the courts have ordered!  I will pray for you and once again... Don't leave - stay here and face it!  If this new guy loves you he will find something here or come back!