I dont understand what came between us! Everything was fine. Her and my dad have been married for almost 17 years now and over the years he has become a alcoholic. He is always getting drunk and fightign with her. I am always the only one there for her. And lately she has been treating me like shit. She admit'd to me yesterday that she thinks she should go to the docter because she has been so unhappy and bitchy  and she knows its not right! And  just today we got into a small arguement and now she says that we arent friends anymore and not to talk to her. Please help me!\n\nSincerily~ 15, suicidal, confused, and alone!
122137
It is difficult to comment on a relationship that I only know a part of. You must remember that it is not your fault that your dad has unfortunately become an alcoholic. Your mom, I can imagine is under sever stress as she perhaps is trying to keep the family in a normal, non eventful routine. In her trials and tribulations to work out a plan to keep your family together and get your dad some help she might have succumbed to the stress. Talk to her about how you feel and how her actions are affecting you. Create a common goal, that is to get your family and dad back on track. Remind yourslef and your mom of the small victories you bith earned together, to feel good. May my advice not only bring you some peace but hope that all can get better.
216899
She is just feeling protective over her mother role.  She is their momma and she doesn't want you to try and fill her shoes or play mommy.  It is very delicate.  No matter what she did in her marriage doesn't matter.  Please be respectful not to push her about being around HER kids.  Respect the fact that she doesn't want you around them right now.  They shouldn't see you two together unless it is very serious.  I didn't introduce my daughter to her now step-dad until I was sure we were going to stay together.  They don't need to see different women in daddy's life.  You don't know how long you two will last just yet.  Give it time!!!!Don't tell her to back off or anything like that, you have no right to.  If you care at all about your b/f respect her wishes!!!  She'll come around if you do.  Don't make it worse, it is a delicate situation!!!  Why would you move in?  This isn't something that should be taken lightly.  Are you even engaged to him?  Like I said, the kids shouldn't see women in daddy's life unless it is serious enough as marriage is!  Sounds like you know you'll disrespect her wishes anyway!  Why ask then, if you are moving in?
196747
You don't need to know what's on her mind .You need to get out of this situation as fast as you can. She is married w/a kid and you are in a no-win deal. Her husband is going to have to deal with her and her issues and you don't really have a dog in this fight.The sex might be good,but this woman has more baggage than a cargo terminal.Recipe for disaster,my friend.
10961
It would help some to know how old you are first.  I will assume that all parties of of legal age (21)since it is not otherwise stated.\nDoes your girl have a drinking problem?  If not it is pretty unreasonable for you to ask her not to drink.  What right do you have?   If she does have a drinking problem, asking her not to drink will not make her not drink.  \n\nAlso, asking anyone not to hang out with their friends is not reasonable what right do you have to tell her who she can and cannot hang out with?  \n\nYou are correct though, she shouldn't have agreed to what you asked, as you are overstepping your bounds as a boyfriend.  \n\nYou ask her to do things that are not reasonable, then you get mad when she doesn't do them.  You don't trust her to start with, then you ask her to keep promises that you know she won't and you then in turn trust her even less.  You are making yourself miserable, you either need to learn what you limits are as a boyfriend (what you can ask another person to do/not do) or you need to get out of this relationship.   \n\nHow would you feel if she asked you to do the same things that you ask of her?  Would you feel it was fair?  You might feel that you are trying to look out for her best interest, but it sounds like it might be coming across as overbearing.\n\n*UPDATED*  I can't solve your problem.  Relationships are hard and yet simple, either you and the other person are happy, or you aren't.  If you both aren't happy, and you've tried to make it better and you still aren't happy, then what's the point of continuing?  You can not change a persons behavior and although, you may want to look out for her and vice versa you can not make her do something she doesn't want to.  Just like she can't make you do something you don't want to do.  You only do it because you want to, you want to please her and make her happy.  It's a two way street, you can give her your opinion and your advice, but you can't make her do anything. If you are happy with her behavior then stay, if not leave; she is going to be who she is, if you don't like that then maybe you don't really like her, but you like who you can turn her into; which again isn't really her.  Regardless, you either stay or leave it is your choice, but know who she is as a person and know that you can only advise and nothing more then that.  *********************\n2-1-06\nIt's sad, she needs to learn to love herself.  She has to learn to do that on her own, sadly; you cannot teach her that.  That's all I have to say about this, and I mean it this time.
640155
You have to now figure out if this is good for you.  She apparently doesn't know what she wants.  Either she's fearful of the life that could include being with the same person until death, or she can't handle being faithful.  She's hurting you, but does she realize it?  Have you ever just sat down with her to figure out what the deal is?  I'm sorry to say that I think a divorce would be the best thing.  She obviously has some issues, and no one can get through to her.
554650
I'm a woman and I'm an American and I don't drink till morning.  I don't go drinking with guys.  That is crap.  That is her.  Non of my friend do either.  My husband doesn't drink till early in the morning or I would kick his butt.  We might drink 2 beers on the weekends.  She is a drunk and is going to destroy her liver.  I don't know how to say this nicely to you....but dump her.  You don't want a drunk.\n\nP.S.  It sounds like she is one of those college kids that they do stories on that end up killing themselves with alcohol.  Every year there is some college kid that drinks themself to death.  Do you want that to be your woman?
497792
hello, It would be beneficial for you to sit down with your daughter and talk to her about her dad. Please for her sake, try to understand her point of view about her dad, he may have mistreated you and her, but ultimately he is her dad, and she may be struggling with abandonment issues, and hurting so much that she is self sabotaging your relationship with her, to prove to herself that no one cares, and that everyone is unrealiable. \nIt is confusing for her but if you can not portray your negatity about your ex, or that situation, and try to remain nuetral... allow her to talk to you about her feelings , she'll gain respect for you and will listen to your rules in time. \nIt is clear that she is trying to manipulate you, and she may be playing on your heart strings, " Mom won't do anything, cuz she doesn't want to loose me." \nIt is hard as a mother, because we are not portrayed as authoritative, but you need to stand your ground no matter how much she laments, and cries, hollars... don't give in. If she doesn't do something she needs to be shown that there are consequences to her negative actions. \nAsk who her friends are, and when they come over, quiz them, ask them " so where do you live? what does your mom and dad do? " Chat them up in a friendly manner so she doesn't realize it's the third degree, and her friends will say " Hey your mom is cool!" They'll want to hang at your house, and you'll be able to keep a better eye on her.
333036
Wow, what a tough one...\nI feel sorry for you. He has obviously been a victim of manipulation. She has stooped really low here. She realized that tactic would work on him, and she is playing it for all it is worth. He needs to stand up to her, and tell her that kind of logic isn't going to work anymore, if he really feels that way. He can reassure his daughter that just beacuse Mom, and Dad don't get along, it doesn't mean that the love they feel towards her, individually, has waned. She screwed up. Not him. If he wants to fix things between the two of them, there is nothing you can do, though. He needs to figure out what he wants. Unfortunately, you are in the wings right now. The best thing you can do, is be patient. He is confused, and needs time to get his mind straight. If he truely loves you, and you him, he should see that, and come back to you. Be supportive for him. He needs it....
100482
Let her go.  She will come back.  I went through this with my daughter for the same reason yours want to leave.  It didn't take her long to figure out it wasn't so bad at home afterall.  I didn't rant and rave just let her go.  She found out for herself just what kind of dad she has and I didn't have to say a thing.  Kept our relationship on an even keel.
183546
Please remember she is sick, she suffers from a disease in the center of her mind. Drinking is but a symptom of her disease, it is just the tip of the iceburg. There is a imbalance in her. There is hope! Take her to a detox center, let her take a week to get over the effects of th alcohol in her system, she needs to stabalize, then to recognize her condition. If she can understand that she is powerless over alcohol, she can start a life long journey, one day at a time, to permenent sobriety. A A is the only way she is going to learn the tools she needs to do this. You need to get help as well, Alonon is were you need to be, to learn your tools to recovery. A A was wrote by two people in 1939, since then over two million people have recovered thru this program. 120 different self help groups have been formed using A A principles. A A is in over 100 countries, and has published millions of books, they are very cheap to buy. These numbers are growing every day, it must be doing something right. What do you have to lose? Try it. Remember she is sick, and you would not pinch the I.V. line keeping her alive at the hospital, right?
202385
write to her.  you can't lash out at a peice of paper.  tell her that you love her very much and that her behavior makes you worry.  tell her that what her friend did made you very sad as well but now your soul concern is her.  although you don;t think she would ever do the same thing, the way she is acting has you fearing for her personal safety and you love her too much to just look away.  if that doesn't work, and she really is staying in drunken hysterics, talk to your fellow family memebers- hve an intervention or have her committed.
182662
wow. you're right. she is psycho. she's going to have lots of problems later in later if she can't handle and control herself.....hurt herself???If i were you, I'd worry about her hurting YOU FIRST!!!....keep your parents appraised of what's going on... try to avoid contact with her, if possible...hopefully, with time, she will move on.....hopefully, she'll move on to a THERAPIST REAL FAST!!
505512
There could be a whole lot of things here. The shaking and diarrhea are especially troubling. If this happens a lot, you could have some liver damage. Go to the doctor and get some blood tests, etc.. Get a check up and talk to him about your ailments. If you are drinking too much, at least admit it to yourself, and get some help - that is 99% of the battle. Sounds to me like you have a good friend here, so don't blow one of your few "second" chances here by not listening. A true friend helps even when it isn't pleasant to do so, so count her a good friend and let her help you out of these problems. You have to be the one to Respond to treatment and Accept the help, and then DO something. You are not acting normally, so get with the recovery already.
69460
yes, and she need to but out!!! let you have a talk to  your father. what is wrong with people today? If you need this information if it is a matter of  urgency then you need to go over there, if you are asking is there a law that supports your rights to get medical info, that is a little touchy I AM NOT SURE BUT IF YOU can TAKE ACTION i am pretty sure you, can there is all type of loop hole in the system.If you father is not making th effort to speak to you, It hurts but there is nothing you can do,your mother/guardian raise you, clothes you, just giove them the extra love being the you dad and wife is being butt wipes. he should let not women come in between him and his children.One day he will be sorry!!!
516305
My best advice to you, sincerely, it to go speak with someone professional.  And drag your husband with too.  How does she treat your children?  If she is bad to them in any way, then put your foot down.  It is one thing for us to deal with someone whom is possible mentally ill, but don't make your kids deal with it!
24830
Do you have custody of your grandkids? Is your daughter living with you?  How does she get her $$$$$ for booze?  Could it be you are enabling her?  Sorry, but "tough love" may be your only alternative for your daughter....either that or a family and/or friend intervention.  She needs rehab and detox.
99893
I would say it depends on where you live.  The law in some places tries to keep families together.  I mean just because they fought today does not mean that by tonight they would have come back together.  It is a hard call A good Lawyer would be helpful.  Unfortunately the law is not working for the benefits of the women keeping your daughter safe is I am sure your top priority.So I would get her some councelling because this type of abuse has a way of sticking with the person for yrs.Post tramatic stress syndrome.  Keep her away from him Chances are he will be sorry but once they realize the law is a joke they are not really worried about doing it again.Change her # move her somewhere else and pls let her know that she must do this to be safe he will do it again and can no longer be trusted dont even try run