ok so there is this guy that was telling me that he wanted to have sex with me and that he wasnt with his girlfriend any more and that he wanted to get back with me and then his SOON TO BE WIFE called my house telling my dad that i was harassing her husband er what ever so he never told her about me and now she wants to kick my ass but i dont want him like that i just want to be friends with him and not have any problems with his soon to be wife please HELP what do i do?
134694
Forget being friends with him.  He is only out to have sex with you and he isn't going to settle for anything less.  You don't want to be in the middle of his family problems so just stay as far away from him as possible.
165456
'he got caught up in some bullshit and ended up having sex with one of my friends................just read that back and see if it makes any sense!!!!!!\n\nNOBODY gets 'caught'up in something that makes them commit the ultimate no-no.  WIse up - people do things because they want to and they think that they can get away with it.  The reason he has called you again out of the blue is a slight mystery but trust me if he had realised what a mistake he'd made and wanted to get you back he would have done that 24 hours after the event.  He's just bored and is seeing how far he can go with you.  This whole episode is probably to hype his ego that he could get you back again no matter how badly he has behaved.\n\nDo yourself a favour and show him the door with a very large size 9 up his backside as he leaves.\n\nEveryone is worth more than this.  You have to toughen up and not let people rule your future.  If they bring you love and happiness let them in - if not get rid of them....for good!!!!!\n\nHard but true.\n\nGood Luck!!
25109
Hey little buddy! Sounds like you stepped into a big bucket of stuff there. Just goes to show it dosen't pay to try and be nice. This guy must be some kind of freak. The sad part is I'm sure he has done this same thing before. With a nut like this all it takes is a simple HI from a pretty girl and they automaticaly hear "Take me now, I want you for ever and I'll bear your demon seed" What's even sadder than that is he may end up hurting somebody. I'm glad you realized that and ran. The guy needs a  12 step program to stop the voices that are not there. Oh---The only time you should have to put your life on hold is if you have children. They would come first no matter what. Otherwise no man or no one can tell what you will or can't do. And for gods sake, don't be givin' out your danm phone number or address. Be safe and happy
608133
If you feel things were going too fast, they were.  Be careful putting yourself in these situations, though.  If you go to a guy's house when his parents aren't home, he expects to get laid, especially if you start fooling around with him.  If you unwisely put yourself in this situation again before you're ready, tell him no first if you didn't this time.  Oh, & don't give him a sexual moaning no, as this won't get his attention.  Give him a blunt, firm, commanding no.  If you lash out violently right off the bat, he may reciprocate.  This is another reason it's wise not to go somewhere alone with him until you are ready for this possibility.  He could have felt like you led him on, & were being a tease, & then gotten enraged when you slapped him.  You're lucky, because this could have resulted in an asault or a date rape.  From now on, I hope you'll be wiser in your decisions, as this could have ended up being potentially dangerous.
457938
Wow...I'm so sorry that your father is acting this way towards you. Since your an adult now, you have a choice to make. Cursing him out, no matter how satisfying that may be, really isn't going to help out your situation. If anything, all it will do, in his little brain,is prove him right. Hopefully your not living with him still. Because you need to on your own if at all possible, to put some distance between the both of you. It's so unfortunate that as someones child, YOU have to act as the 'mature-responsible-adult'. You have to be the one to set the example that his behavior is unacceptable, and your not going to stoop to his very lowly level and reflect what he is doing to you. He sounds like a very bitter man, and again I feel for you and your situation. If your able to find a good counselor to talk to, that may be of great benefit to you to help you work through this crap that he's dumped on you so that you do not feel as though it's your fault or that you deserve to be treated this way. The way a father treats his daughter, will greatly and directly effect the men she chooses to have in her life. I hope you know that you deserve better treatment from men, and that even through all this you still have a choice to make. Man, if I could just have 5 minutes with jerks like that....
618468
in time this will change because your family will see what is going on - in the meantime, stay as far from him as you can and do not fight , just walk away. do not waste your energy fighting a moron. my dad's favorite saying - no matter what happens you can react with dignity. no need to let the little jerk get under your skin.
71377
Tell your mom.  If you don't he may start forcing you to have sex with you.  This is not a safe thing for you.  If you can't talk to your mom about this, talk to someone else that you can trust.
271414
Yes, I've been there. It sucks! But you have to be true to yourself. I let the guy know that I wasn't all about being his P.O.A. I wanted a relationship. I am not the type of girl that you can call whenever you want a booty-call. I told him that. I gave him a few chances to change how he was towards me, and he didn't. I told him I was tired of how he treated me, and I left. You have to be true to you, and don't give in to be with someone. Don't give him the chance to use you for sex. Make him want you before he wants sex. You are young. You will find someone who wants to be with you for you and not for sex. Make the person wait. If he's into you, he'll wanna be with you for you before you sleep with him. As far as the following, and calling thing. Tell him he needs to get over it, and stop his crap. If he doesn't, and it gets to where you are scared (past the point of just plain tired of it) I would look into a restraining order, or talk with a police officer or counselor at school as far as what you should do, but be careful. Dont let something like that go, either. That could get ugly, and scary.
53871
I had something like this happen. girl appeared out of no where and wouldn't go away. she was determined to get him back and no matter what i said or thought about it me told me i was over reacting. well let me tell you how over reacting i was. I heard messages from her tellin him she wanted him come over and play at 3am. and he would hide to talk to her. well let me tell you. I left his sorry @ss shortly i foudn out he went and hid after i had our son to call her. if your man can't respect that you are uncomfortable leave it wont get any better
597116
First of all you don't mention your age but one must assume that you are over 18 at least. Is this child from him or from another man? Don't bother with a restraining order because they are only as good a the law enforcement in your town. There have been a number of women killed by boyfriends after they have a restraining order placed. Take No. 2's advise. Get the heck out of Dodge or where ever you live and do it quick. Don't let anyone know where you are that can tell HIM! It is for your safty as well as that of your daughter. The man is a psyciopath and you should make a report to the local police before you leave. It is a crime to threaten someone else with bodily injury. Not to mention that he has said that he will will have your daughter KILLED. At least the law enforcement will be on the look out. Once you have moved away use your mothers maiden name because you can do that legaly. Don't list your phone number either. Just initials and no address. If it were me I'd move to a different state. I would put as much distence between him and me as I could. It may be hard at first but you will be alive and well. If you stay it may take him months to do what he says he is going to do but trust me he will eventually do it and then it will be too late. Men that talk that way usually do so to intimidate, but then they need more power over you and they start to do things physicaly to the people they say they will hurt. Talk to the law or the DA in your town and they may be able to give you more advise. No matter weather you take my advise or theirs PLEASE take your own advise and get out of there. Hope this helps and may God watch over you and your daughter. Be Safe If you need to talk to someone email me at Whilemom47@yahoo.com
154130
I'm going to go out on a limb here and say it is a culture thing. How he was raised. Maybe his dad taught him that only a whore would do that, so he is confused. Tell him you apologize for the action, and say that you know if you two would become sexual that he should be the one to initiate the advances. That's probably how he was brought up.
103856
i just want to say how much you really need to realise that you are a victim here, this man THINKS he can control you by telling you to bring the kid to him. why should you?? he is blatently exploiting you and your kindness. you need to be strong and only agree to meet him on your terms. as for your kid, you may feel that you are letting him down by not bringing him to his dad, but when he is older he will understand that you are doing your best by him and keeping him away from a harsh environment that no child should have to live in. I think you also need to PRIVATLEY notify the police and report him, before he gets worse and harms anyone else. you are the victim here, please do not let him intimidate you with his harsh words. they are only words and you should ignore them until he makes the effort.\ngood luck
358875
Hi. I looked at your old emails and discovered that  you are 16. That is the age I was when I was involved with a 24 year old man. Boy was it a journey! I could write a novel answering this question...\n\nfirst of all this guy was WAY beyond where i was in my life. he had experienced so much more than me. everything we did wasn't that big of a deal to him but it was to me. I thought it was really cool that he'd take me out to dinner and we ordered wine, he had a really nice car, money and a cool appartment... i only wished i didn't live with my parents. of course all of this eventually led to sexual intimacy. and of course it meant more to me than him. and then that led to me having twins as a teenager. then becoming a single mom. i did all this sneaking around behind my parents back after they found out we were interested in eachother because my dad literally drug me away from him and forbid us to see eachother knowing that he was 24!\n\nthe other thing is that if he's 24 even if you consent it is called statutory rape. your parents can have him thrown in jail without your agreement and at any time they want to.\n\nmy suggestion??? don't get involved with a 24 year old. i know it sounds coooooll. and maybe it is but it's not worth it!!!!!!!! it took me 15 years after that to finally start dating one man my age. and when i did i finally felt at peace in dating and a relationship. the connection between someone your age is quite different. and well, i married that guy.  \n\nnext..... a 24 year old guy should know better! if he is interested in you he's doesn't have it all quite together up in the old noggin. or he is extremely selfish and not thinking about anyting except his selfish desires to be with a very young woman! run! you don't need a guy like this! \n\nif you are lonely or just looking for friends the best way to do it is to think of something that interests you or something you are willing to try and get involved in it. it's the easiest way to meet new people... there should be a teen center in your area check them out this summer and see waht kind of activities they have. or volunteer working with kids this summer or..... volunteer anywhere you'd like to learn something about...... get involved in a hiking group or sailing or tennis or art or film making or ????? if i knew what you were interested in i could help point you in the right direction... but get out there! hope this helps. if you want to talk more email me, k?
612405
I'm going to assume you're american, tell him that in America a relationship between a 14 year old and a 20 year old is ILLEGAL, you're not even ALLOWED to marry until you're 18 (16 with your parents consent) and that if he doesn't leave you alone you will tell the authorities and have him arrested (you really can't tell the authorities and have him arrested as long as what he's doing is strictly over the internet but maybe he's dumb enough to believe it anyway). Honestly the first thing to do if you are truly scared of him is tell your parents, they won't be as nearly mad as you think they will, plus if he does start pestering you you can have them get involved (by the way if he gave you his phone number keep it, give it to your parents, in case he starts harassing you outside of the internet you can hand if over to the police). Your parents are really the best bet because they can help you and they will try to do everything they can to protect you. If he emails you again, make sure you show your parents every correspondence he sends you, although they might suggest that you DO ignore him. He's probably excited by the fact that you fear him, so the more you show him you're scared of him the more he likes it, so the best thing to do is to ignore him, block his emails and don't respond to his letters. As long as he doesn't have your full name, or your hometown,  or your address, or phone number or the name of your school there's NO way to track you down, so don't worry about him, I'm sure he's just some perv on the other end and probably harmless to you. By the way regardless of whether he has threatened you or talked about sex you still have every right to be afraid, so don't let your fear embarass you. There truly are some scary people in this world!
529359
You should not order him to do anything as that is an attempt to control his actions.  You should tell him exactly how you feel and that you would prefer he not continue contact with her because she has shown bad motives where he is concerned.\n\nIf he cares for you, he will heed what you say and choose to cut communication with her.  If he doesn't, then you need to be concerned about your relationship, not because of her, but because of him.  In the end, you can't control anyone. You can be open about how you feel and why.\n\nSue
53229
Tell him you are sorry and that you will never do that kind of a thing again. Never involve yourself with married people. Think about it this way. What if someone else interfered in you blissful marriage and spoilt it. Ask for her forgiveness and stay clear from such entanglements.
459494
Oh girl I am in the same situation, except it is my sister's HUSBAND!!!  Personally, I would put him in his place.  Tell him you are not interested in him like that.  If he continues then you will have to be a little more forceful and start avoiding him whenever possible.  Never be alone with him.  Everything he does to you try to document it.  Save his emails, voicemails, and text messages, because when your friend does find out guess who she is going to believe....not you.  Cover yourself.  Also, try to get him to hit on a third party friend and show your friend what an idiot he really is.