My friend and I talk 4 hours daily. He's in Iraq and I can't sleep if he doesn't call. I've told him that part but I can't seem to tell him how I really feel. He sends me money to pay my bills and sometimes sends money...just because. I really feel he lovesme too but I'm afraid to assume that he does so I won't say anything for fear I might be wrong. He'll be home in a month or so and he wants me to pick him up at the airport and not mention his arrival date to his family yet.(whom I'm very close with as well). He says he wants to spend a couple of days just relaxing and enjoying being back home alone first, then he'll see his family. Of course I agreed. He also doesn't want his family to know we talk so extensively or that he sends me money. I really don't know what to make of it all. If I express myself to him and he does feel the same way, then I'd feel bad not telling his family but I need to respect his wishes as well.
131773
I'd say he feels the same way. If what your telling us is true sounds to me like he's into you. Why not throw it all out in the open? Tell him you want to jump his bones when he gets home... I'm sure he'll be happy!!!
674691
I think he is being unfair. If he is really your friend, then he would talk to you about the letter and your feelings regardless of how he feels.  Maybe he is shy about it and feels the same way, or maybe he was just flirting with you and only likes you as a friend and is scared to tell you. I would give it one more day to let him unwind.
413936
I wouldn't freak out about it. Trust what he told you. That he wasn't interested in anyone but YOU. That is how trouble and hurt feelings get started, people talking smack. However, your so called *friend* never should have went to his house, knowing this is your *love* interest. I would casually mention to him that you were told she was there and then ask if everything is OK? If he acts normal to you, and smiles and says yes, perhaps even gives a small run down of why she was there, then your cool. If he offers nothing and is not acting his usual self towards you, then you know something is up. If that is the case, drop your friend, she will do it to you again with someone else. If he is normal with you and nothing has changed and all goes well. I would call my friend, let her know how *uncool* it is she did that, and then I would keep her at a distance and not be *as close* as you once were. I hope this helped some. Blessed be
281100
i know exactly how you feel... well, at least i think i do.. i am in love with my best guy friend whom i have known for almost 11 years... we are reallyc lose and a week ago, he confessed that he believed that we were meant to be.. blahblah.. and then we kissed.. and it's been a week and i have a feeling that he's avoiding me.. he's always busy and within the last week, he called me ONCE... that's it. and it was for a brief conversatio. i don't know what is going on... its really hard to do anything.. because i know that we were friends first.. and i dont want to risk it..\n\nmy advice to you... confront him before you assume anything and talk with him... talk it through... conversation is the best option you have... dont do like what i did and talk it out. it will save YOUR HEART from a lot of pain....
402100
I know that feeling all too well. . .same boat, only I have two boys and my guy. . .well lets just say he's not the hero I'd love to say I have standing up for his country in Kuwait. . .(actually we're not even an official couple anymore) So. . .feel blessed to know that you are loved and you love for starters ( : \nIn any event. . .I think that your father's situation is unfortunate and I can relate having a similar friendship with both of my parents who have had their share of trials and tribulations. . .What my advice is to you. . .Sweetie you work hard, you raise a daughter with the weight of the world, missing your man, balancing your family wanting to do all you can to make their lives better. . .you deserve to spend your holiday happy, with your friends, enjoying a break from NY and the cold weather. . . But, since you can't very well go there and have real fun worrying that you have done something terrible to your father. . .have a Christmas with him and his household ahead of time and let him know your fellings so he can see what a blessing it is that you will have the opportunity on this time away to relax and enjoy life for all it has to offer surrounded by friends and in the warm sunshine of California ( : \nI can tell from what you said here. . . .it is truly what he would want for you. I will keep him and his troubles in my thoughts and hope for the best results everyday. . .\n\nsome days i sit, \n\nstarin out my window, \n\nwatchin this world pass me by, \n\npeople make jokes cause they dont understand me, \n\nthay just dont see my real side, \n\nsomtimes i think im crazy im crazy oh so crazy, \n\nwhy am i here am i just wastin&#92;' my time, \n\nbut then i see my baby sud-denly im not crazy, \n\nit all makes sense when i look into her ey-es, \n\n\n\n*chorus* \n\nsometimes it feels like the worlds on my shoulders, \n\never-yones&#92;' leanin&#92;' on me,and sometimes it feels like, \n\nthe world&#92;'s almost over but she stays with me \n\n\n\ni look at her starin at her picture, \n\nlookin at her amazing gaping brown eyes, \n\nwe talk bout sex and it almost already feels good, \n\nim happy just knowin were alive, \n\nwe&#92;'ve faced tough trials and tribulations, \n\nhard fights an even had a tough rough ride through degradation, \n\nbut our love always seems to survive, \n\nmy friends they call me crazy,am i crazy?only may-be \n\nthey just dont see the love thats entered my life, \n\nand i talk to my baby theres no question im not crazy, \n\nit all makes sense when i look into those eyes\n\nPeople understand in their own way. . . .we all feel it from time to time. . . \n\nLet the world go for a few days. . .it will be great for everyone involved ( ;\n\n\n\n\n\nNatalie- tried to get in touch with you but, it says you are not accepting messages. . .I'm fory_secret@yahoo.com if you wanna e-mail & talk ( : \n\nBy the way: Eminem . . . he sang that (wow right?!?!?)
300874
When my boyfriend returned home, for the first few weeks he acted fine, a little different and jumpy, and he spent alot of money, he would just go and buy whatever he wanted, and after a few weeks, it all hit him.  he started getting depressed and wouldnt hardly leave the house. He tried pushing everyone that cared about him away.  Now after a year he still has his moments but for the most part he's doing fine.  He still has nightmares and things like that but the most you can do is be there for him, just let him know that you are there for him to talk to, but dont push him to talk, he will on his own time.  War changes people, my boyfriend will never be the same person he was when he left, but i thank god every day that he is home safe.  Your boyfriend may or may not have the same symptoms mine did, but if you need to talk about it you can im me.  Thank your boyfriend for me, all of the Soldiers are my heroes.
378785
Honestly it does get easier. You get used to them coming and going for training but the deployment can be really rough at times. Whenever my husband is gone for more than a few days I just make sure that I have a day where I totally pamper myself. It relieves stress and makes it easier to face the next day and makes me look better to boot.And when he deploys make sure you write and send packages alot. It's very good for his morale and will make you feel better because you are doing something for him. As far as living without your best friend everyday...well I learned to not look at it that way. If I did I'd drive myself nuts. I look at it more like he's just at work and I'll see him when he gets home. It's amazing the way you learn to trick yourself so that you can adjust. Hang in there! You'll adjust to it! ;-)
640916
Hi Kerry \n\nI've been in Iraq myself and spent half the year there and i know first hand what it feels like and what goes on in your mind when you are over there.\n\nYour desired man works in security in Iraq where he is faced with  real danger,im sure you av seen from the news and everthing else,the rest isn't for me to say.I met someone when i came back on leave and it was the best thing ever to happen to me but in my head i had this feeling what will happen to her in case  i dont make it back or if something happened to me will everything still be be same with us.I survived all that and my days were hard to get by.\n\nIn your case im sure this guy is thinking along the same lines and probably feels that he should not make you wait in case he never makes it back or if something happens to him will it still be the same between you guys,more like a state of mind to get you through that time,but im sure deep down he hopes you will wait for him and as long as you have the will power to wait for that long and expect anything to happen afterwards, i think you will have given yourself the best chance with him and who knows were it will take you.
466884
It's only natural for a husband , or wife, to be feeling that way; especially since you two will be apart. It's sad to say, but since I live on a military base, you do see ALOT of that going on and maybe that's also why he feels the way he does. Alot of other soldiers may be putting "so-called" thoughts into his head, also. All you can do is be honest, sincere, faithful, and loving. Hopefully he will have enough faith in you to trust you completely. Being too jealous and suspicious can certainly pull people apart, also.
452879
Hi, I'm an Air Force wife.  So far I have been very lucky not to have my husband overseas at all.  The longest he was ever away from me is 6 months.  Now most of the time it is just for a couple of weeks at a time.  Stay strong and I'm sure you can get through it, I'm sure he is worth it.  At least that is how I feel about my husband.
77984
THERE IS NOT ANYTHING WRONG WITH THAT. WHEN YOU ARE DEPLOYED ALOT OF THINGS CARE GOING THROUGH A PERSON'S MIND, AND SOMETIMES PEOPLE MAKE A LIST OF THINGS THAT THEY WANT TO DO WHEN THEY RETURN STATESIDE, BECAUSE THEY MAY NEVER GET A CHANCE TO TELL SOMEONE HOW THEY REALLY FELT ABOUT YOU. 11 YEARS IS A LONG , BUT HE SEEMS TO CARE ALOT ABOUT YOU IF HE HAS LIKED YOU ALL THESE YEARS. YOU SHOULD FEEL FLATTERED. IF YOU ANT A RELATIONSHIP WITH HIM THEN THIS IS SOMETHING THAT THE TWO YOU SHOULD SIT DOWM AND DISCUSS. IF YOU DONT WANT TO COMPLICATE YOUR FRIENDSHIP WITH HIM THEM TELL HIM THAT YOU ARE FLATTERED BUT YOU WOULD RATHER KEEP YOUR FRIENSHIP INSTEAD. GOOD LUCK!!\n\nMSCHOCOLATE
208446
Your situation is very similar to what I am in. My b/f and I met online, talked for 3 weeks, then met.  We had the most unbelieveable weekend together!!  We now have been living together 5 months, but he works out of state for 2 to 3 weeks at a time.  Hopefully I can help with that I know.  \n\nThe void in your heart when you aren't talking to her is because all you two have right now, is talking.  You can't see each other every day so that's what you cling to.  Makes perfect sense, I felt the same way then.\n\nAlthough she isn't calling you as often as you'd like, what do you two have to talk about, that you haven't talked about in the last 2 months?  Those hour long phone calls don't last forever because seriously, what else is there to talk about?  My b/f and I decided a call in the morning and a call in the evening would be the best way to handle that.  We could wish each other good morning and tell each other have a good day, but we'd play catch up at night.  We always make sure to tell each other even the little things that happen throughout our day because we both feel like we too are experiencing things even when we can't be together.  \n\nWe do have seperate lives too.  When he is home, we are together 100% but when we are apart, I go out with my girlfriends and he goes out with his work crew.  Don't think for a minute I am not thinking of him when I am out.  He feels the same because many times, he calls me when he is out with the guys.  My point is, you can't just sit at home and mope, wondering what the other is doing.  You need to live too.  Have fun, do hobbies, go out with your buddies.  Keep your mind busy until you can be with her again.  \n\nIf it's meant to be, it will happen.  Don't rush or pressure her and don't be clingy and needy. You have to trust her.  If you don't, you will lose her for sure.
639470
My daughter e-mailed me everynight and sent me letters and there was the occasional phone call.I have been to Iraq and Afghanistan within a 4 year period so she's use to it.She knows it's my job and wars happen.(She's eleven) and that I love my job. She knows I'll be leaving for my 3rd tour and we are spending a lot of time together. Instead of being negative, cherish every moment with him and help him out. He'll appreciate that and not have to worry about you guys back home but staying focused on his mission so he can come back home to you guys/.
177611
i think u should be honest..tell him exactly wat u've told us..if u want even mail him this question..show him how much u care for him..that u want others help in order not to hurt him..don't accuse him just ask him if he's happy where he's staying..no one reacts well wen being accused or screamed at..try to remember that..hope he opens his eyes to wats happening..take care
58791
I'm with jbpammy004,  what is your question....I hope you find the answer....However i think i understand what you are saying.  Sounds kind of sad....Hope you have had a chance to see your friend again....Good luck....Don't be sad.
136663
I am in the same boat right now! So, I know how you feel.  I just am there when she needs to talk.  I do not offer ANY negative input about MY feelings about the guy, just listen to how she feels and try to give her answers that are somewhat neutral.  Good luck!
324943
Possibly .. I mean, here we have a solider who is going into a battle front and he may/may not be wounded, shot down, captured, all of the above, I personally want to thank him for defending our freedom's but as you can see this might have a "unfortunate" outcome. It is nice that you found someone that admires you and you him, just keep in mind of the possibilities that await you and all of the other families that have loved ones in Iraq right now. I don't want to tell you this is wrong or try to "throw salt" on the game in any way. BY ALL MEANS keep in touch with him he will need the correspondence, and if you "solider boy" make it back home, take some time to thank him properly.