My roomate is so obviously gay but swears he isn't.  Is he just in the closet or is it possible for someone to be gay and they themself don't realize it?
138903
I think it is quite possible that someone could be gay and not know it themself.
67884
In this situation you should probably try spending some quality time with the person sooner or later it will become totally clear of their sexuality and you never know if they are they may come out and ask you first, either that or talk to a mutual friend if there is one available, and try to get the dish on what they are into, basically the same thing you would do if you were straight, nothing really has to be different. The worst that could happen is that he says no but it is best to be true to yourself :-))!!!
173883
I have a friend who is gay.He grew up being my brothers' friend.We were always together,people thought we were a couple.This went on for years.Then one night he tried to commit suicide.Thank God he called someone to help him.He said he thought it would be best if he killed himself because he was afraid we would not accept him anymore.Boy was he wrong!We did not not shun him.He was & is still part of the family.We don't treat him any different now.We never will.I know that a lot of people say homosexuality is a sin.But it isn't my place or anyone else's to judge you or any other gay person.I know my friend is alot happier now that he is not secretive about his sexual prefferences.I have called my friend but he has not returned any of my calls,but i know he is fine because his mother has told me.Whatever his reason for not calling me,is his choice.Maybe i was just in his life for a season.Who knows?I still consider him my friend.I know he is Happy with his partner,so i am not worried about his well being.I would never turn my friends away,no matter what.Well unless they did harm to my family.That is a different thing.Anyway,this is just who i am.Be Blessed! Monica
597243
why do people assume that calling somebody 'gay' is a bad thing?\n\nit's the same as calling somebody 'straight'. i never saw anybody get offended by that...\n\nmore importantly: why would YOU pressure somebody to come out of the closet? In this ignorant world coming out of the closet is a hard thing to do, unfortunately. I have a number of gay friends who had to go through the hard period right before coming out, and had to live with the condemnment of people after they came out.\n\ni'm not easily offended by questions, but this one is just way out of line.
254552
Listen closely, you don't want to lose a valuable friendship.\n\nGay people (or people who are confused about their sexual orientation) tend to think that ANYONE who is sweet is gay. That is NOT TRUE. I have a teacher, who seems VERY GAY. He's way tooooo sweet to seem straight, his voice even has that little tone to it.. i swear i would have finished his class believing he was truly gay. Then one day, i was out, and went to give him my excuse, and he said, "don't worry about it, I was out to, I cancelled class. My wifes aunt passed away so we had to go to her funeral in Flint." I was like, oh, you're married? and he said, "yes.. here you can see her picture" and she was a she.\n\nMORAL OF THE STORY: not everyone whos nice and seems gay is gay. People now have a adefinition of being gay.\nGay= a guy whos nice and sweet, and has a certain ring to his voice, and in most cases is hot.\nbut that is not completely true, as a matter of fact it's completely false. Society tends to give false images..\n\nBe careful. If he's gay, he's gay. If not, then he's not.\n\nWhat you can do is, confess that you're gay, or you think you might be, and tell him you don't want it to ruin your friendship.\n\nIf he's gay, he'll be comfortable enough to say he is. If not, then he'll probably get freaked out at first, but then come around to accept you for who you are.
614451
Quite a sad situation...\nI don't know if J is homophobic, or is still in shock by K's announcement, but it's kind of surprising that he would be so quick to drop one of his closest friends.\n\nI imagine for a gay person to "come out" is one of the hardest things to do - some people you might not be able to aniticipate their reaction - some people have no problem with it, while others might react in a hateful or hurtful way.\n\nI imagine K told you and his friends that he was gay, because he felt comfortable in confiding to the group, and was hoping for you all to support him in his lifestyle.\n\nI'd suggest that you talk to J and ask why he is reacting in such a harsh way to this.  I'm guessing that he be homophobic and is having a knee-jerk reaction to the situation by distancing himself from his gay friend.  Kind of in a "he may be gay, but I'm not - see? I'm making fun of him" sort of way.\n\nIt may come down to choosing between friends in the end of this situation, if J doesn't come around - but remember: Trust is the most important part of any relationship.  K trusted you enough to be honest about who he is, while J took that information to hurt him.  J doesn't sound like much of a trustworthy friend.
476415
Go on and ask him. He's very open to the idea of being gay. You guys should help each other discover your sexual orientations and preferences. But don't rush into things that fast because you guys are still young. People switch teams all the time. Just take things a step at a time. Focus on discovering who you really are. G'luck!
27948
Is it about friendship or relationship?  Knowing that you are gay is big enough already, don't add that you are in love with him to the mix.  It will be too much to handle.  Coming out is hard.  You do risk losing him as a friend also.  Not everyone's upbringing has prepared them for this.  If he is a true friend with a reasonable upbringing, he will still be your friend.
400262
No, it doesn't mean he's gay. He's just not easily rattled. What's to be upset about. If he patted him on the behind and meant it, then there'd be cause to wonder.
295268
A gay person can not be talked into being straight any more than a straight person can be talked into being gay. If you're a straight person reading this, ask yourself honestly, could any amount of prayer or counseling cause you to wake up one day and decide that you prefer the same sex? I didn't think so. Your friend can either go through a lot of misery denying who he is or he can learn self acceptance, perhaps with the help of counseling.
344169
If he is, he hasn't come out.  It shows what a great actor he is playing a gay role.  It's convincing.  It is best to assume he's straight until he tells us something different.
119425
is your gaydar working correctly?  i thought a gay person could tell another gay person?  if he's that hot, give him a shot!!!
594655
How do YOU know they are gay?  Sounds like you might listen to pop music in the closet.
179377
Don't listen to them. Having a j/o buddy is not gay. Many of my straight friends have confessed to me that they had j/o buddies growing up.\n\nMe? Did I have a j/o buddy? Hell no! I am gay!!! lol ;)
175904
he pretends not to be gay because he knows there are people like you trying to figure him out for a good bit of gossip. \n\nLeave him alone.
468985
YOU'RE not gay unless you enjoyed it, invited it, or want to do it again (and even then you could be bi or just curious). \nPretty sure your 'friend' is, though.
541526
I doubt that this means you are gay. However, it was theorized that people change their sexual preferences throughout their lives, based on a number of things - that on a scale of 0-10, no one is a 0, and no one is a 10. Everyone is attracted to different things, and maybe this is a side worth exploring.