i took some advise from you guys and talk to my husband well i wrote him a letter to tell him how i felt about things and told him not to talk to me about them i would see with my own eyes well i tricked him into going to the bar with me and told my former best friend to come. well from the beginning of the night to the end of the night she flirted with him hung around him every where he went but he never touched her or even really talked to her but she sure wanted him. so my question is is it her or is it just both of them.
137702
I'd say it's her. He was too devoted to you, to even touch her. It shows that your husband is trust worthy and loyal. But in some ways, it might have been a mistake for your friend to go to the bar, with the two of you. From your     description, she's been interested in him a long time. She could've flirted with other men, but chose your husband, who didn't even touch her. You did, good, if you think about it. You could say, you were testing them both.
603931
Like it or not, your friend was the one who ditched you--her boyfriend didn't "take her away" from you.\n\nMy best friend (and roommate) did this to me over a year ago.  I confronted her about it, and she stopped...but there was tension between her boyfriend and me for the remainder of her relationship with him.\n\nI still have trust issues with her and am waiting for the day she finds someone new and drops me all over again.
245959
you really have to ask her what's the deal with what happened.but since i assume that she's your bestfriend,then i say that don't let a guy come between friendship.no matter how much you love him.and IF she wants him for herself and she lets this guy come between the two of you, then later down the road you won't be the one feeling guilty about a guy possibly ruining a beautiful friendship.
547262
It is better that she knows now what he is really like.  If he really did love her he would have never cheated on her.  The only thing I know that you can do for sure is to offer moral support, and try to keep her mind off of what just went down.  But be sure you don't get in the middle of things.  I know that you don't want her to get her feelings hurt but I am telling you that if you get too involved in this situation you will live to regret it.  You might even get blamed for some of the things that happened even though you didn't have anything to do with it.  I know from personal experience from my best friend and then I said some bad things about someone who is now his wife.  A really has created a real burden and hardship on our friendship and we have been friends for a long long time.  So just give her all the support that you can and try just to listen to her but if she asked for some advice be really careful on what you might say because it might backfire.
480011
Once she crossed the line from employee to girlfriend the employee employer relationship ended.  It was her choice to help him with the divorce, kids, business and if not monetary agreement was made in this regard he doesn't owe her a thing.  It sounds to me like he used her.  She is feeling used and now wants to get back at him.  All she can do is learn from it and move on with her life.  Pretty much the consequences for allowing herself to be taken advantage of.  Sounds like he played her pretty good.....  But she should have realized what kind of man he was by the way he treated the mother of his children.
229739
DRAMA CENTRAL! for starters you know your man the best, you need to be honest & ask yourself is he genuine!!?! I dont quite understand why they play around but if the word is she is not trusworthy then you deserve better friends! There was no reason why this could not be resolved at once why go around telling every1 except you. \nHIT the back????????plssssss! your man should not have done that PERIOD! ,dont matter if ur les friend got the wrong idea or not but the intentions were not in respect for you.\nIf i was you i think twice about what i need from this man & what role can he play in your life for the future.
620822
I think I figured out what u are saying!\n\nI think you are a very good friend for trying to help your friend through this.  It sounds serious so she may need to go and talk to a counsellor about it.  The counsellor will help her and whatever is said will be confidential.\n\nIf the woman is married and the man is also married, its just asking for problems.  The best thing for her to do is to sit down and evaluate how important her marriage is to her and how important the other man is. \n\nIf she decides she dosnt want anything to do with the other man, then she should change her phone number and move away from him.  She should make it impossible for him to contact her.  It will be hard but she will have you for support and also a counsellor (if she chooses to talk to one).\n\nEither way, she needs to decide what she wants, she cant go on like this, its not only affecting her and making her depressed but its upsetting you too as her friend.\n\nDont tell her what to do, because its her life and she has to suffer the consequences.  Just try and be there for her and be her friend no matter what she decides.  \n\nI hope it all works out well in the end
223147
Hi, My X use to do the same exact things! I know exactly what it feels like, unfortunately the last few lies I found out were from my children. He was hangin around with a white trash piece of shit that was his sisters friend. He swore up and down they were just friends, come to find out he had been seeing her off and on for about 12 years! I was married to this asshole for 17 of them! Please please... Listen to your heart, especially with his track record.. make sure for yourself and I hope its not true, but that there isn't another woman! I don't know how I didn't find out sooner. I guess the kids were younger..not sure.. But the things you were saying is just how it was with us.. and he didn't even care when we didn't talk I think he actually enjoyed it because there was less to cover up if I wasn't asking him questions! But please keep your eyes and ears open, and I hope you find nothing but just in case hun.. take it from someone who has been there. Take care good luck and if anything changes please keep me informed or if u need another woman to talk to email or im me anytime! Good luck & be strong! Kim
396433
I actually ended a long friendship with my former best friend a few years ago because our personalities clashed.  He was constantly flirting and kissing girls even though he had a girl who was working her tail off making ends meet for the two of them.  One clear example was when I visited him from out of town with my then girlfriend, he took us to a bar and spent the entire time flirting with one of his co-workers.  He just left us sitting on a windowsill.  \n\nWe've reconciled, but part of me still remembers what he did to not only us, but to his girl. I've lost some trust with him.
665177
I'm confused.. When you say you were speaking to other men.. is that all then? I don't see anything wrong w/that. You say tho 'he stayed w/me' and I don't know why he wouldn't (if it was just conversation.) You say he had a secret relationship.. was it sexual? You two both sound kind of jealous/possessive.. I mean I am basing this on the assumption there was nothing sexual involved in any of this. (If there was, that's a different story..) Let me see here.. He treats you like crap.. I take it that's the real issue on hand here.. I think men are kind of like babies (I'm married to one.. lucky me..) or they want their cake/ to eat it too.. they want us to cook and clean (and spread 'em) but on the other hand they want their 'freedom' to screw around on us at the same time. (We can't do anything along the same line tho..) that sux, right? He stayed because he's been with you and while the other gal's 'something new/exciting & different' you're the one he's 'used to living with' I am thinking. (Hell, this is depressing me!!) Hey, I DO think you've got value/self worth, dont' get me wrong! I'm just kinda bitter about men is all.. It sounds like my marriage of l4 years (boring.. I'm bored..) My ole man's an asshole (cuts me down) and then developed (or so he claims) e.d. so he tries to do the oral thing (doing me 'one big goddamned favor') on me for sex (but it's wearing thin or gettin' old I mean.. fast..) I want to dump him too.. (I think you want to dump THIS guy..) do it!! that's my 'valuable' advice for ya
587730
Please, please, please tell her or at least your best friend.  My husband cheated on me for years and a lot of people knew about it.It made the situation worse.  I feel like they were laughing at how stupid I was for not knowing.  I also felt betrayed by them.  They are NOT my friends; they and my husband made me feel like such a loser.  My husband and I are working on our marriage and he and I lost a lot of good friends over his cheating.  My life will never be the same.  I will never trust my husband again and a lot of joy at the 'little things' is now gone.
394833
Yes, I think your absolutely right about everything  you said that concerns you, your friend, and this guy. Just be glad that it wasn't you with this guy no matter how good he flirts or looks. I really feel for your friend because if she gives it up to him he's going to be gone like the wind soon afterwords. Hopefully things won't get that far for him and her, but if they do I hope that maybe she'll learn a lesson from it. You seem like a very smart girl to me. Don't ever let yourself be taken advantage of. Your worth something.
296127
OK for starters friends husbands got caught because they used their wife's cell to call their other woman, why they cheated I don't know, hubby cheated because got all strung out on drugs and fried his brains he cheated because she could and would buy it for him AND do the drugs with him I have never touched that crap and never will I would like to keep my brain cells. after he cleaned up we got back together he has been clean now for 3 years and I trust him as long as he doesn't do drugs and I can tell if he were to get back on them. I hope this really helps with your paper and never do drugs, you will not know what your doing, and when people who do them most of the time they don't remember things that has happened while they were on them, oh and hubby got caught because his drug Friends told me, even though I didn't do them they thought it was wrong but they still didn't have standards for them self if they were killing their brain cells, sorry about the dare class but it sounds like you are still in school and i can't push that issue enough. Oh and some people cheat because of mental issues
516379
I just got over a relationship where my best friend (who was also his x girlfriend) and him kept staying friends. I didnt really let him know how much it bothered me, but now that i look back, it totally bothered me... and now that were not together, im so glad its over because that issue was so annoying, not worth dealing with. Tell him to loose her and if he can't, drop him!
102790
Dear Chery:\n\nI am sad that we have not spoken in such a long time.  I miss your company and your wit. \n\nI was hurt when you lied to me, and I may have over-reacted.  Whatever hard feeling we have, I wish we could put behind us because I value yur friendhsip too much to lose it.\n\nPleae let me know if you can overlook our differences and get back to being the friends we once were.\n\nIf you cannot forgive me, then at least stop sending me e-mails, because it just makes me hurt more.  \n\nAnd if that doesn't work, write to her and tell her she sucks. And the only reason you wanted to make up is that you wanted to put her in your will, but too late now.
136492
Sounds kinda fishy, i'd think he already did something with this chick and even more so if you said he said she was a slut and all this crap and now all of a sudden he is friends with her and hasn't told you when they went out ??  They go to lunch once in a while and he claimed she used to wear slutty outfits ?  Sounds like they have the flirting down and maybe something more.  Do some investigating, you can never be too sure, these women know how to get what they want and they.  If I were you I would talk to my husband about your insecurities and tell her he would not like it if it was the other way around and to pls quit the friendship with her, because believe me if it hasn't happened yet it is well on its way.
36432
That sounds very odd. Worst thing you can do is confront him over her (in my opinion), that would probably reinforce what she may have been saying to him. I would recommend trying to call him and talk to him about any unresolved issues he may have. If it becomes obvious that you two don't have any unresolved issues, he may see that she is manipulating the relationship. If he does bring up an issue, then you have an opportunity to deal with it with him. Good luck, I really do hope you are able to talk to him and find out what is going on.