I am 32 and the guy I am seeing is 21... this is not anything that I was looking for I had just broken up with my fiance and was actually looking forward to being single.  But this guy...amazing in every way, we talk about everything, I tell him all the time his eyes tell stories, I truly melt when Im with him.  He may be 21 but you'd never know it by the way he acts, or talks...not immature in the least, has his life together as do I.  It just so happens that he is my ex fiances best friend.  And the guilt is getting to him.  I still am cordial with my ex, but Im nice to everybody so that's normal for me, because were in the same circles so to be angry or anything would be bad for everyone.  He told me he loves me last night, (the guy I am seeing now) Ive told him that I dont ever want to be a source of regret and that I want him to do what makes him happy,  he says that I am what makes him happy but it kills him to know he would hurt his friend. (btw, my ex doesn't know..no one does)
120126
kinda childish..don't ya think...jerry springerish....kidding..but really it's wrong how you are hiding you should be able to show the world how you feel not caring what they think...its how you feel about eachother.
70248
Dear girl,\nI am suspecting that you are quite young if you're still not backing up since your Ex told you to. I would recommend, please give it a time. I know how you feel inside. I've been there, and it felt horrible at the time. But, trust me! After a while, maybe 3 weeks, maybe 3 months, but you'll feel much better. You will get over him! And you'll wonder why you were suffering as you are right now! The possible reason for your Ex acting this way is maybe that he have found his true love. And now he doesn't want to ruin it. Probably, his new girlfriend doesn't want you guys hanging out. So, please have some dignity and let him go. Don't be surprised though, if you get a call in few years from your Ex. So, I hope that you understand what I'm trying to say. Good luck!
74313
I have been through a similar experience. Just over a year ago the guy who I had planned on marrying & I decided to part ways. Even though it was mutual I had a really hard time moving on. I started dating again right away, but soon realized that in the process of dating my ex I had lost track of who I really was, therefore all the guys I dated after him; I was dating for the wrong reasons. I don't know if that makes sense, but I decided that I had to "date myself" first before I was ready to hit the dating scene again. \n\nAbout 4 or 5 months ago I came across this book: Single "The art of being satisfied, fulfilled, and independent". by Judy Ford  It really opened my eyes as to how I was living my life. It's okay to grieve & find yourself before hitting the dating scene again. I've taken a sabatical from dating & have never been happier. I have more guy friends than I have ever had before & they are teaching me what I really want in a guy.\n\nMaybe you're not ready for the whole dating thing yet, but that shouldn't stop you from getting to know this great guy. It sounds like you two are building a friendship, & friendship is so important when trying to rediscover yourself. Just be totally honest with yourself & do some soul searching ... you'll be surprised by all you don't know about yourself.
494947
i give u a thumbs up. i dont usually get along wiht ex lovers as i get dumped for no reason, but there is one that i get along with. his name is brian.we were going out 9 months, i was 16 and he was 19 and we both thought it was love (as u do at 16) we broke up cuz we lived in different town and i couldnt see him every wknd like i used to cuz of work and i was living at home and my mam would not let him come up to me. weve been friends for years now. occasionally we have the odd moment of passion and he swears he still loves me and says that im deadly but also says if he cant have me as a girlfriend he does not want to loose me as a friend either. we live in different town so i dont get to see him as much now, but when i do we have a laugh. he also always stands up for me if someone even looks at me funny.so there u go, this is as long an awnser as i can make it.
156244
Sometimes it's true that women's maturity level progresses faster than younger men's. In your case you might be feeling a bit uncertain because that statement does not apply to you. \nRemember: Age is only a number. So is salary.\n\nIf you can love him no matter what and want to work things out with him, no matter what, then he is the one for you.\n\nEveryone has differences in taste, his is 80's music and an early bed time.. so what? At least he isn't a drug addict and abuser. Take it for what it's worth... if he treats you well, is financially stable and willing to work on your relationship, you've got a winner!\n\nGood luck, and look out for yourself--
612195
when i was 21 i was going out with a girl who was 16. we had a great relationship for almost 2 years and if i had a chance to do it all again i would. the only problem was that as she got older and matured we drifted apart but that can happen with any relationship no matter what age you are. give it a try but don't let him use his age and experience to get you to do anything you don't want to. good luck, hope all goes well
659821
There are a few questions you should ask yourself....\n1)why should you fret over your friends opinions?\n2) were you comfortable with the relationship before you told your friends?\n3)Is the fact that you are being teased about it the only reason you are now concerned?\n4)Do you genuinely have strong feelings for this person?\n5)How would you feel if you gave them up for your friends?\n6)Do you feel the aquaintance of this person is enriching your life?\n7)Are you already thinking on the long term?\n8) If it ended, would you be thankful just to have experienced this persons affection?\n\nNow, If it feels right to you, tell your friends that you understand their concerns, but that you want to give it a whirl and have some experiences. Understand also that  although your friends are an important part of your life, your romantic relationships are between you and your partner, and no one should be allowed to sabotage that. Even if you eventually end the relationship, a true friend will still be there for you. If you are thinking on the long term, consider this.....What does satisfying sex entail for you at the age of 19? Is it mostly just physical or is it a true soul-satisfying experience just to be with this person, whether the physical part is strong or whether it is lacking? How important is it to you to have the capability to have a physically satisfying sexual experience in the years to come? Is it enough to just be together emotionally, without the sex?\nLet me explain why I asked you to ask yourself this: I am now 37 yrs old, married 15 yrs. I have experience here, although all relationships cant be judged as if you had a crystal ball....\nWhen I was 16, I went MAD over a MUCH older man. He was  42. yes 26 yrs older. A few of my buddies ragged me some, but I let it slip without having an issue. I enjoyed being with him and it was my relationship, not my friends. Buddies can't supply you with what a romantic partner can emotionally.He was so wonderful, and just being in his presence was emotionally enough. However, he was much older, and parts of him just didn't work well anymore...I was ok with that ( although I wanted more), we did other things to try to compensate for what was lacking. He eventually bowed out of the relationship because he was continually disappointed in his inability to do what it is that men do.\nOf course, all men won't have this problem, but as they age, it is not going to comply to his every whim! On the other hand, when I was your age, I had several relationships I just knew would last forever.....and they were over in what felt like a heartbeat. \nSo, if it feels right, I say go for it, if it goes long term, I hope you care enough for him to overlook any issues he may end up with. and that you are easily emotionally satisfiable. I have a feeling that there will be many more relationships for you down the road, but I could be wrong! Love can amaze us all!\nI have been married now for 15 yrs to a man who is 10 yrs older than me, and believe me when I say, older is better...in a long term relationship that is. They have more experience and are not as easy to fly off and freak out like someone younger. Patience is a virtue, knowledge is wisdom, and that comes with age. But do understand this yet again...when they get older, parts don't work as well as they used to....it's not easy for me to deal with, but I love him, so I do. And the mid-life crisis' generally start at around age 44......and that is worse than one that doesn't work!
235567
Well for one I think you should leave the guy alone.  Let him deal with his past maybe he wants to repair his relationship with his ex.  He is obviously not letting you on the business! He's too old for you anyway! Find a guy that doesn't work with you
468262
it is difficult because you are making it difficult. you are still obsessing over the idea if you should trust him or not and you should not! he can do the talk but can he walk the walk? i dont think so from what it seems! he seems as though he is playing both you and his ex and he is telling you that he wants to be with you just because that is what you want to hear! if he actually would love you he would act on other better terms and not like a jerk who wants his cake and to eat it too! i have broken up with my bf and so has he with me but none of us have talked with our ex's or tried to play the other person since we are both with our ex's-we are 22 and almost 24! i would not accept this guy's behavior no matter how much you love him since he obviously is not mature enough for you, your needs, his actions or his behavior! he thinks that playing with people's minds is fun, therefore he does not know and i think that this guy at some point will surprise you by cheating on you! do not accept him and all his drama into your life but rather focus on what you have and how young you are as well as that time will not  not come a second time around as well as how you should take care of yourself first and be in a healthy relationship! this relationship from what i can make out of it is not the best relationship so you might want to rethink it and make yourself happy with someone who can take care of you and knows what he wants out of life as well as treating you better than this! if you go back with this guy you are headed for splitsville another couple of times as well as more tension, lack of trust and frustration building! i have given you the info from personal experiences and i hope that at least you consider some of them!
172408
sounds like he needs to grow up and you say he's 30!!! that's really sad...the only advice i can give you is put him in situations where he has to talk to you but to be honest with you it sounds like he doesn't respect you and maybe he is trying to find excuses to leave you you say he did this with his ex's well look where they are now  i hope you are able to solve this problem good luck.
602176
Believe it or not, this just happened to me last night.  My boyfriend was married for 11 years and they split up 9 months ago.  We have been going out for the last two months.  Last night, after about two beers, he looked me right in the eyes and said "I love you so much Ch*&^%)(*%$#."  I couldn't believe it.  He kept telling me he was so sorry and I know he felt terrible, but It is eating at me today too.  I know it was an accident and he didn't mean it, so I have decided to just force myself to stop thinking about it.  I know he loves me and I know he doesn't want to go back to her.  He is very loving and attentive in so many ways, so my advice to both of us is to stop being so sensitive and admit that our boyfriends are human.  They make mistakes, I wouldn't want him to crucify me if I were in his shoes.\n\nGood Luck.
73088
Hi. My GF is 28 and i am 40. Just ask him what he is looking for, you can even ask him out for coffee. That is a good ice breaker. You can have a healthy relationship with him, emotionally and physically. Some people his age are single by choice. I have been divorced for 13 years and dated several women before i met my fiance. We have been together for 4 1/2 years not. If that is all he said for now than let it go. He may not be comfortable talking about it. Ask him out for coffe and just be you and talk with him. You won't regret it. And by the way...my gf and i are best of riends i we love each other alot.
152297
I read your other question..  I wonder have you had anything happen to you when you were younger?  You only think you love him, at 15 even though you think you are..  you are not emotionally equipped yet to deal with this.  He knows this and is preying and counting on your immaturity not to realize this.  You said he was married, with a family..?  That speaks for itself..  He is not a good man to hurt so many people and you will probably not be sadly the last.  The only thing when you grow up and realize that you have is your self respect and dignity.  You are special, do not throw it so easily away..  think about what you want.  Someone out there right now could be the one for you, don't waste your time on this loser..  find someone as a friend first closer to your age who can more easily understand you and truely love you..
224463
If you just met him tonight, then I doubt that you love him.  What is the age difference and how old are you?  If you are under 25, then I do think age is important because we are not fully adults until about age 25, not 18 like most people think.  And if many of your friends are saying this guy is bad news, than I would take that into consideration and take things VERY slowly.
407702
A couple that I know lived like this for years and it worked out good for them and they remain friends to this day.  I doubt that I could personally live that way but if people are capable of it then more power to them.  If you can't discuss it with the ex, then try and discuss it with your boyfriend and be honest and open about how you feel.  Hopefully he will be able to ease your inferiority and make you feel like a queen in his life at present.  Good luck to you.  We all have pasts and that is why it's called that because it is all gone.
294049
You will be pissed once you find out, even if you try not to be.  My fiance and I told eachother one night when we were playing cards and hanging out and we had had a few beers.  It was kind of like haha funny well ... we made it a fun situation and we both have an idea, but we don't know exactly, and we haven't talked about it since then.  It still hurts sometimes when I think about it, but you just have to remember it was in the PAST and if he really loves you, he doesn't even think about them anymore.
488264
The numbers of years difference would not be so bad if you were 33 and he was 48. At 18 you are far too young to be involved with a man that age.... He's lived and you haven't. You have dreams and he should already achieving his... Too many differences to over come. yeah he might treat you very well...but you will come to resent him eventualy and angry for having wasted your time.