What are the telltale signs of cheating with regards to women?\n\nWith regards to my ex-fiancee, I noticed the following:\n\n1. As the relationship progressed, we made love less frequently over time.\n\n2. Towards the end of the relationship (about 3 months before I broke up with her) she began purchasing new bras and underwear and said it was "for us."\n\n3. She would harshly criticize me more often towards the end of the relationship, usually to get back at me for something very small I said or did.\n\n4. Towards the end of the relationship, she insisted we use condoms (we had almost always made love without). She blamed it on a change in birth control.\n\n5. As the relationship progressed, her moods fluctuated wildly day in and day out.\n\n6. Often and throughout the relationship, she had trouble telling me the truth. \n\n7. Sometimes she wouldn't call me for a few days, or would wait until I called her to talk.\n\n8. She rarely appreciated my generosity.\n\n9. She slept around prior to knowing me.\n\n?
131856
You sound surprised. Vastly overlooked area. Most books about infidelity are written by women about men. One thing is for sure, even though the signs may seem obvious in hindsight, women do a much better job of lying and concealing. They are vipers indeed.\n\nHere is another one: They become increasingly critical and will make unfavorable comparsisons of you, your dog, your trucks and even your favorite football team.
106730
Hey man I know where you are coming from. My wife just told me that cheated on me with another man about 2 months ago. I went nutts, but not too bad. Luckily she told me at our preachers house. After she told me I did not know what to do. Because in the bible it states that that is the only reason for divorce. I sat down and talked with her and the preacher. We agreed that we would stay together. I wanted to leave her but then I didn't. I love her so much, and not only because we have kids. I am still having a hard time getting over it. Like I said it has already been 2 months since she told me and I still can not sleep nor trust her. There are still times when I want to leave but I can't because I love her too much. Also you don't want to go out and do the same thing she did. It won't do any good, except have a burden on your shoulders. Just hang in there man. Pray about it and see what God wants you to do. God Bless!
85975
I thank you for the quick reply, but you did read it cafefully, I never ever cheated on her! I lyed and stole from her, she says she still loves me and I'm truely hate myself for what i've done to her and our marriage. I love with so much love I would do anything to save this. But i'm here doin this myself lookin for alittle help. thank you!
62838
She did something she knew was deceptive and against your will. She\n\nthen misled you and was deceptive about it once you caught on. She\n\nflat-out lied about her actions and tried to make out as if it were\n\nyou who was in the wrong and had a lack of understanding (a\n\ngenerational thing that you aren’t able to comprehend).\n\n\n\nShe says Jeff is “easy to talk to” and that he’s “a great listener” –\n\nmajor red flag\n\n\n\nYou made your value of honesty perfectly clear and yet she\n\nintentionally betrayed that in spite of your openness of how much it\n\nmeant to your relationship.\n\n\n\nI find your statement here perplexing:\n\n\n\n“I personally think it’s a bit weird for a guy to be calling a girl\n\nwho has a boyfriend every day, but I also don’t’ want to treat my gf\n\nlike a child.”\n\n\n\nI don’t. \n\n\n\nYour “girlfriend” is acting childish but you don’t want to treat her\n\nlike a child. She has given you every reason to question her integrity\n\nyet you insist on being more permissive. You wonder how a guy (which\n\nshe admittedly feels so comfortable being with and confiding in) would\n\ncall on a girl who has a “boyfriend”. Dude, in my opinion, HE is her\n\nboyfriend too. Is it really that unclear? My guess is that YOU are\n\nprobably NOT her “boyfriend” in HIS mind, but YOU are merely an\n\nobstacle (she never mentions you and he never asks about you) . It\n\nwould seem, on it’s face at least, that she may feel the same way (why\n\nwould she be honest about this too when she found it so easy to lie\n\nabout everything else). The fact remains that she encourage, or at\n\nleast welcomes, his advances which she KNOWS FOR A FACT are totally\n\nagainst your will and undisputedly outside the parameters of trust\n\nthat the two of you have agreed upon for your relationship (in view of\n\nher previous lies about Jeff).\n\n\n\n“she says ‘she thinks about him all the time, and misses him. She’s\n\ndepressed that she can’t see him.”\n\n\n\nI’m not trying to belittle you or suggestion that you are less than\n\nintelligent because I know how love clouds the mind. But, c’mon big\n\nfella; you need to wake up because as hard as this is to swallow, in\n\nmy opinion you’re being had.\n\n\n\n“She says that maybe I don’t trust her, and she can’t spend the rest\n\nof her life with someone who can’t trust her, and she knows I feel the\n\nsame way.”\n\n\n\nShe KNOWS you don’t trust her and she KNOWS you don’t want to be with\n\nsomeone you can’t trust. It kinda makes one wonder if she’s not trying\n\nto help you dump her by continuing to give you reason after reason to\n\nnot trust her, doesn’t it? See what I mean? I don’t think she “feels\n\nbad” because she doesn’t “want to make you upset”, she feels bad\n\nbecause she KNOWS it makes you upset and she KNOWS that isn’t right –\n\nbut she still does it, doesn’t she?\n\n\n\nI find it odd that you think it “might” be ok that she doesn’t tel you\n\nall these little details about her relationship with this guy but that\n\nshe obviously tells him all the little details of her relationship\n\nwith YOU (if you’re not aware, intimate talk is what “easy to talk to”\n\nand “a good listener” often represent). You’re not seeing the two of\n\nthem discuss YOU because he probably already knows more than he cares\n\nto know already.\n\n\n\n>>>Do I let her keep meeting him as long as she’s honest with me about\n\nmeeting him?\n\nYou may not have a choice anymore.\n\n\n\n>>>Should I be worried? \n\nYou bet.\n\n\n\n>>>Do I tell her that she can’t be his friend and my boyfriend at the same time? \n\nYes, you can, but you risk losing her if you do. \n\n\n\n\n\n>>>Can I honestly, in good faith, tell her who she can and can’t be friends with? \n\nYou know what – you can (sort of). In a mature relationship everyone\n\nknows what the rules are. You
366300
A former fiancée of mine used to call me from time to time, crying about how wrong it was for her to leave me, how bad her current dude was treating her, etc. etc. Of course, I'm supposed to forgive her for cheating on me, lying about the cheating and just keeping me around long enough until she could find someone else stupid enough to support her. Even after I got married to another (far superior) woman, she would call and say things like "our children would have....". Well, we didn't have any children together and we never will, but she still had these bizarre fantasies about how things are/should/would have been.\n\nI think she was seeking attention and support and still was trying to take advantage of my kindness. It sounds like your ex is quite similar...using you for emotional support...but in all likelihood once she feels better, she will ditch you again. Once a cheater, always a cheater. It doesn't have to be sex, it can be emotional cheating...and sometimes it's just for drama and a feeling of self-importance (being needed, desired and and cared for by others).\n\nI do thank my ex for one thing; had she not torn me up, kicked me to the curb and ruined my life, I never would have met my wife, and had my two wonderful sons that I have now. At the time when she kept toying with me with her coming-back-for-emotional-needs after she had broken up with me, I felt like a no-good worthless used-up person, and her flattery to get attention from me seemed hollow and insulting. After a while I felt better and ultimately realized that my life was in fact better without my parasitic ex than it was with her. Perhaps you will find the same thing with your ex, and I would be extremely skeptical of anything she says.\n\nMay your future be happier and drama free...and you will probably find happiness where you least expect it.
305208
oh! i can definitely help you on that!\ni'm just like her! and you're just like my fiance.\nthough my trust issues are much better....\nhe messed up a few times in our relationship at the start, not cheating but we broke up and some other small things that added up so it got hard for me to trust, especially because the guys i had dated before him were the worst choices in males anybody could ever make.\n\nif she's had some relationships before you and she's always been the one hurt in them, she may be worried that it could happen with you both and she's a bit hesitant in letting the walls down complete....\n\nif you've done something in the relationship that's made her doubt.... compromise. my fiance and i have agreed on things i know will help, and i've told him "it's almost like a breakup, you just can't forget that easily, and it hurts so badly, but i knwo i can get over it with time"\nbe there for her, talk about it, dont let fights boil out of it, and if they do, don't end it just over that, relationships aren't easy (obviously) and they're meant to be very hard to show you "do i love this person" and if you can tolerate all of it then that's great.\n\ni'm just like her, i'm trying to forget things, but it's hard and so i read into every little thing and turn things around, or think too widely about them when really it just means what was said.\nsometimes women can overanalize things and sometimes we just would rather place judgement and be mad rather than think about it.\n\ngood luck, but please stick with her and talk to her about it.... you sound like my fiance and the world needs more guys like you who will (regardless of the tough times) stay no matter what becuause we're loved that much.\n\noh yes and how much do you know about her past.... if she had to be taken from parents, see why, maybe she saw how her father treated her mother, maybe he was abusive and cheated on her and such, and she saw it.... or heck maybe her mother did it to her father.... ther'es so many things that could be the underlying issue... stay with her and talk it out... you'll reach some agreement of what can be done and you'll be glad it's fixed in the end
540694
Maybe she's cheating on you.  Either that or she's insecure.  Guilty parties in relationships will often project what they're doing on to the other person.  If she can get you to admit you're cheating then maybe she won't feel as guilty.  That's just one possibility.  Or maybe she really is insecure, in which case perhaps you both need to go to couples counseling because if she keeps it up you may just get fed up and decide to make her accusations come true.
201555
I know a lot about husbands, maybe these are transferable\nA lot of new male "friends"\nBeing secretive about phone calls\nUnexplained expendatures\nNew items or gifts you did not purchase her\nTime where she cannot give you an explaination of where she was, or it doesn't match up with the facts (she couldn't have been at Beth's house b/c Beth was in Cancun)\nPhone calls that suddenly hang up\nLooking especially nice for no reason\nlack of sexual interest in you\n\nIf you think she is, confront her; often if you have a gut instinct, it is right. I hope all turns out well.
426818
I have been in just about the same situation as this.  I hate to say it but, once a cheater always a cheater.  If she went out with other guy and even if she said she never had sex or what ever she will keep going out with him because she is thinking that he is the light at the end of the tunnel.  Or if they are just friends.  Sorry but there not.  Guys can not be friends with women, we always want more.  You know what I mean\nWomen are crazy.  \nEveryone says no one can understand women, that's because women don't even understand themselves.
228176
Cheaters are HYPOCRITES.\n\nBut cheating has 2 types; cheat for bad and cheat for good.\n\nCheat for bad is, as we all know it, for sure, it will hurt anyone. So don't cheat your BF/GF! Because that is not good in a relationship!\n\nBut there is a cheat for good. Cheat for good means, well, for example, you're actually meet up with you cousin girl, to just discuss about family matter. Nothing more, I mean he's your cousin!. Your girlfriend call your cellphone and ask, "who are you with right now?". You don't want her to feel suspicious because your GF is a really really jealousy person! So you say, "Oh..I'm currently discussing assignment with my friend, John. Why?". \n\nYou're cheating your girlfriend so that she won't get hurt. But YOU know that you're not cheating on her over a really bad thing. \n\nAnother example, you're in a toilet, taking a pee. Your girlfriend call your cellphone, "where are you?". And you say, "Oh...I'm errr...in my bedroom of course!". ;-P
22321
This is an experience that I dealt with with my "ex-husband". When I caught it, I challenged him on it. He came up with so many explanations that I finally gave him an ultimatum. I told him that he needed to chose between the internet and me. He was also looking at adult porn. He said he would quit, but one day, I checked history, and found that he lied to me. Not only that, but while I was online, I didn't realize that his instant messenger hadn't been closed, and an IM window popped up from a girl who said "hey sexy"! When I looked at the messenger, I realized it was his, and not mine. I told her who I was and she said "What are you doing on his computer?" I told her that it was my computer, and that he was sleeping in my bed. I asked her if she wanted me to wake him up. Well, she was fuming at that point, and started saying things like "Oh, we're just friends, and also that they had never met, she was only playing around". Well, needless to say, I showed him the door real quick. I live in Ohio, she lives in Indiana. When he left, guess where he went immediately??? LOL! Indiana, of course, and he married her 6 months later. Funny thing is, they are divorced now, and since then, he has been engaged to 3 other women, 2 of which dumped him for the same reasons, and he is planning on his 3rd wedding with his new fiance this year. I've always been told that "leopards never change their spots". That's some good advise that I got from my mother. She is very right!!! \n\nMy advise is....don't get caught up in the whirlwind of the lies. They only get bigger and better as time goes on. If he's doing it now and says he'll stop, he'll do it behind your back! Cut your losses and find someone who truely cares about you and your feelings!!!
336884
Usually a man will tell the woman when he is breaking up, but one time I was just blown off, and never heard from the guy again.  It was so weird because we had gone out, talked on the phone at least three times a day, never had a fight, and the last conversation we had was really normal.  Then one day he didn't call me back after I left a couple messages, and I never heard from him again.  Granted, it was a really new relationship, but it seemed to be heading somewhere.  I really hope he's in a coma or something.
280713
Dude, Ditch her NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!\nMy ex did the same thing, I never cheated and was accused at least once a day. Come to find out she was the whole 9 years.
522380
The fact that she was honest enough to tell you her true feelings says alot. It's good to hear that instead of: I cheated cause I'm not in love with my husband.......but I love him. \n\nHere's my advice for you, WHO YOU GET'EM, IS HOW YO KEEP'EM
270161
Not necessarily. Though does show that he is thinking of her some level. doesn't mean it is in a good way though. Confront him and watch his reaction. you always know deep down when your man is cheating.
598649
Yes, I have been cheated on.  But if you ever met my man you would have never guessed that he would ever have done that.  We are still together, he realized what he did was wrong and promised that he would never do that again or I was gone with no second thought. It really hurt me that he would do somthing like that to me, I didn't even find out until a year after it happened. There were some signs though, he became very jealous when I was with any guy or had them in my cell phone and he didn't know them.  There also pictures of the two of them together, he said at first she was just a friend.  Even when I talked to his friends they were shocked.  There is no way to prevent cheating if a guy is going to do it he will.  He told me the reason why he cheated on me was because he said that he wanted to be with me so bad and thought it was me, he was gone for a week. Right before he left I spent a week with him at his lake house and he was telling me that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me.  Well it has been 3 years now since he cheated on me and I love him with all my heart, and he feels the same way. He knows now that even if I hear a rumour that he was with another girl it's over and he is scared of loosing me.  That was why I stayed with him when I told him that it was over and I never wanted to see him again, it took him 10 minutes for him to leave and he left with tears. then 3 hours later his roomate called me nervous becasue he hadn't seen him and it was 2 am in the middle of the week. I ended up calling him and had been sitting out my window crying  thinking what is he going to do because he really felt that his life was over becasue of a dumb mistake, thats when I knew that he  would be faithful.  I knew that he really loved me.  I hope this helped!
114194
When I was in college I lived with this girl who was also my coworker at an adult bookstore.  She wasn't very popular with the guys, but I never thought anything of it.  At the time I had just gotten involved in a LTR with a guy who was in some of my elective classes.  Well, needless to say, one thing lead to another and the next thing you know, he and I had embarked on a physical relationship.  This, isn't that big of a deal, right?  I didn't think so.  She was incredibly jealous of our relationship, however, because (as I later found out) she had been trying to lure him into her bed for several semesters, to no avail.  I remember she would make snide comments once she had discovered he'd been staying the night with me.  I didn't understand her anger.  Then one time when he and I were doing what new couples who are enjoying each other do, I heard this moaning in the very next room.  Her room.  She had left the door open and was purposely making the noises of woman in the throes of ecstasy, while letting both of us know that she was taking FULL ADVANTAGE of her employee discount at the adult bookstore.  It was really embarassing.  Somehow, even though I think she was attempting to make fun of me, I was really embarassed for her.  To this day, I don't understand why she acted that way.  Anyway, I moved out, soon after this incident and while I was on my way out, I accidentally-on-purpose threw her favorite pet goldfish in her bed in the tradition of that movie The Godfather.  Shucks, it was the least I could do.  Hehe.