I work in a small place with about 7 people including myself. One of my coworkers has a boyfriend who is currently seeking psychiatric help. However he is always accusing her of lying cheating and God knows what else. He calls her daily minimum 20 times. She doesn't want to leave him and they are moving in together soon. He makes her miserable she cries and yells at him here at work on the phone. My husband works here with us and he speaks to her more than I do. Now this guy is calling up here saying that my husband and her are together and that she's doing other people in the office. And none of this stuff is going on to the best of my knowledge. This guy is a ticking time bomb. Our boss has prohibited him from coming on the premises after he came here once and yelled at her in front of customers. He's threatened suicide and told other coworkers I'll end this today. We like her as a worker but this could get out of hand. Any Suggestions?
134877
My advice is for you all to get together with your co-worker and hash this problem out. Ask your boss if you can take time off from work to have a meeting about this or sacrifice your lunch hour for it.\n\nIn my opinion, there is more going on here than you are aware of. This behaviour is typical of people who are using mephetamines, for example. Her boyfriend is either not taking his prescribed medications, or is using other types of drugs. You are very right to be concerned and my first thoughts here are three things: a. Get her out of your office (is there any stress leave available?) or b. Get him out of her life (and yours), or c. Get her out of his life. Set her up with a transistion house that helps women who are victims of spousal violence. Many of them offer help up to and including getting the woman out of state to protect her from a violent partner.\n\nOther possibilities include her talking to his parents or other family members to find out if he has a history of this sort of behaviour? Perhaps they could help her get him into a treatment program of some kind. Drug rehabilitation programs spring to mind here.\n\nYou can also contact your local police office and explain the problem. They can find out for you whether he has a history of prior convictions for violent acts. If he does and you inform your co-worker, it may be an eye-opener for her. If she decides to leave him, you could all kick in some money to help her get away. She won't be able to continue at the office because he can always find her there no matter where she lives. The police may also be able to offer more advice as to what all of you can do about this situation.\n\nIf you can't do any of this things, set up a safety drill for yourselves. Make sure you all know what to do if he turns up at your workplace in order to get out of there safely and contact help. Be on the alert for him at all times. You must take this very seriously. People who get in the way can wind up dead when someone like this goes on a rampage. He might very well decide to take a few people with him before he commits suicide.
111488
Personal beliefs in the workplace are a touchy subject.  I personally think that open-honest communication is best.  Most people really do not want to be offensive.  I'd say try talking to him first.\n\nIf it continues, simply inform your (or his) supervisor.  Don't get ugly.  Just be honest that it bothers you.\n\nNOTE:  Anytime you are talking about a possible subject that could cause retaliation to you in the workplace, I recommend recording the dates of the conversations, what you said to voice your displeasure and what the reply was.  If someone tries to be vindictive, you will have proof that you were just trying to be professional and they weren't.\n\nPS  I was working in a hospital and a fellow co-worker was talking about abortion being wrong (in front of patients).  I pointed out that this was a controversial topic and that there was more to it than it being "good or evil".  He called me a baby-killer.  I was totally floored.  I stayed polite and professional, but he just got worse and worse.  I told him that he was being inappropriate, rude, and was embarrassing both of us in front of patients.  That calmed him down.  \n\nA few days later, he realized he had gotten totally carried away with his beliefs and his preaching and sheepishly asked for forgiveness.
367852
I would have a quiet word with her manager, presuming he is not the offending party. If he is then I would go to the person above him. You need not go into details, just say that you have been told in confidence that that man had wandering hands and that younger females of staff resented his approach. Say that you feel that the problem needs addressing as it could get the firm in hot water for not protecting their female staff but it is not up to you to deal with the situation as it is not in your department.
511905
Very proud of people like you! If i were that girl i would be so happy for someone to let me know before i ruin my life even more. there needs to be more people like you. I would for sure get the message to her asap. But do it without him knowing of course, because your going to want to keep your job. You need to make a new email address and make a new name and everything nothing that has to do with who you are. And find out her email address. Use this "fake" email to send to her letting her know what is going on, and explain how you know for sure what he is doing. Dont give out that you work with him and that hes your boss, that too much information. Just tell her what you know about him cheating. And see what she does. Thats all you really can do. Send this email at home not at work. And dont give your real name, use the one you use at for your fake email. And just use that email for typing her that message and only for her. You dont want to send anyone any emails besides her, or someone will figure out its you. After wait for a week to see if she responds to you, if not write her once again, this time just asking her if she got the email and to write back letting you know if she got it or not so you will stop writting her. After she writes you back, thats all you can do, its up to her to make her descion you did all you can do. Than just delete everything and earse that email, and never use it again.
342913
You have no option other than calling the police.\n\nThe employee needs to get a restraining order in place.
201439
It sounds like she was fired for insubordination. Regardless of whether your manager is mean, you are asking to get fired if you start cursing at them. The boyfriend had no business being on the property. They are trying to run a business, you know? She won't get re-hired for those reasons, not because her boyfriend, who shouldn't have been there in the first place, stepped in. And her chances of collecting unemployment are also poor should her employer dispute the application. If you mouth off at people you suffer the consequences.
395596
What a drag.....Sounds like maybe you should take you resume somewhere else.  Some people have to downgrade everyone else just to make themselves feel better, superior, or whatever reason.  It's obvious he's got issues.  You're only going to be able to put up with him for so long before you'll probably snap.  Start looking for other employment because I doubt very much if he'll ever change.  Unless you feel like stepping up and being the one to change him.  Confront him with the problem.....maybe he needs to hear how he treats people....\nI sure hope whatever you do things work out of you...\nGooday! ! !
257489
Talk to the friend.  Ask him what is going on with him, and let hm know that you have observed a change.  Maybe he is under some severe personal stress, or dealing with depression or some other mood altering condition.  Depending on the response that you get, you may either find a way to work out the solution with the cranky friend, or go to management to seek a solution.  \n\nNo matter what the friend says or does, make certain that your behavior is professional.  If you do decide after trying to work out the problem with both the friend and the management, that you will no longer choose to work there, then give proper notice, do your work, get a good reference and go find another job, preferably while you are still working.
20120
Maybe he is on a powertrip but most likely he is just thoughtless. I have found more often than not that people aren't generally intentionally malicious but many are so self-absorbed that they fail to think about other people. \n\nI used to work under a bunch of (stressed out) guys and I can totally relate! This guy was really rude to do that and I think next time you should only work on it for 5 minutes and tell him (or leave a memo) that you will finish it the next (bus.) day because you have a [insert something important here] to attend to. \n\nI wouldn't confront this person if they are your supervisor. You will probably be emotional and that is not a good thing to bring into the workplace.
642360
She might have broken a law in saying something about your personal life on the job. Spend your week-end researching the laws in your state. I know that Federal law prohibits your boss from discriminating against a behavior or social "disorder". It sounds to me like she might be the one that needs to go! I think that you should go to the woman on your own and discuss w/her your feelings on the situation. It might help to carry a recorder in case she tries to threaten your job or something. Good luck!
427964
This is suicidal employment at it`s worst. Nothing worse than having to see an ex every day. Even close friendships at the workplace can backfire as well.
571728
It's frustrating girl!!! Guys can be so juvenile, it is obviously because they are insecure themselves, and are making themselves feel better by belittling your man. And you are right, to tell a supervisor can often make things worse. The best he can do, I hate to say it  in that it is in a way sinking to their level, but think of the kind of things they might say to him, and come up with some really witty comebacks...put them in their place - not being objectionable, but even so they can't respond but might have a bit of a laugh. If he can try and break the ice with them, not by sucking up but by standing his ground...it isn't always easy but the truth is, sooner or later there will be another new guy, and the others will forget about your man and start focusing on him. Tell him to stay above it, and don't take the bait. He is better than that.
567243
in the future i would keep all info like this to myself.  I know it would be hard and ,you need to get things like that off your chest,but people cant resist a good gossip .  think to yourself have you NEVER told someone something you have promised someone else you who keep quite. or have  you caught yourself saying " don't say any thing but........ " i wouldn't be too angry at your friend as I'm sure we've all been guilty at one time or another.  I just hope you can nip this one in the bud before rumours start flying . good luck with your friend and hopefully your new job !!!!!
390484
Ignore them.  They're obviously blaming you for their own problems, and are not worth the time.  I used to have a coworker who accused me of sleeping with the boss because I didn't live pay cheque to pay cheque.  That's just because I didn't spend my money on clothes or nights out on the town and was saving for school instead.
426242
Report him to the corporate office.  If he owns the business, then no you can't really do much of anything.  Just spread the word that he's awful to the employees and don't support his business.  Maybe he'll shut down.
516208
i think i would consult the manager (as a manger of a store) when there is conflict between employees it really hurts the business, it may not be noticeable now but it will hurt the business.  this is what i would do, go to the manager, tell him/her what this person is doing tranlate what she wrote, and tell him i am her to work and not be playing games with people, and that i am afraid of her actions toward me and the may result in customer loss (if what shes doing this stuff in front of the customers........good luck and hope it all works out for you
203354
Who cares? He has a terrible attitude and isn't worth your time of day. However, this is abuse that should not be tolerated in the workplace (thought it often is), and you should go to your compliance officer/human resources liaison immediately. If you want to be nice, tell him to knock it off, grow up and be professional. If he doesn't, then take it to the top.