My mom passed away in February, and with the Doctors not able to give any reason why it is even harder to deal with.  There are still 2 teenagers at home and our Dad moved another woman and her daughter into the house not a month after we buried mom.  We all thought we could deal with it ok, but everyday he gets angrier at everyone for the tiniest things.  How do we handle this?
132601
I am sorry about your mom. My mom died in February too, after a very, very long illness. Dad is lost, confused, depressed, lonely, angry. Your dad may need to talk to someone. My dad feels like he can't find his place, like he does not belong anywhere. He does not plan on 'replacing' mom, now or ever even tho both my brother and I have told him it would be ok if he found someone to share his life with, even if he does not ever get married out of respect for my mom (I think I could handle him getting married again if that made him happy).\n\nI took him to the doctor last month and he wanted to be put on anti-depressants but the doctor told him that he had to deal with it, cold turkey, for at least 6 months, that it was a normal mourning process that he needed to go thru.(after 6 months he would consider giving him 'happy pills' and recommending a shrink)\n\nHe also told him that the worse loss a person can feel is when you lose a spouse, a child and a parent -- in that order. I hope your dad starts feeling better soon and that, if this new lady in his life is not right for him, he realizes it soon.\n\nPlease be patient with his anger fits, he may not know how to handle what he is feeling. Let him know that you love him and are there for him. Its all you can really do at this point. I feel your pain more than you know. Good luck!
127023
For sure you are carrying a lot of grief and anger over the circumstances that led to your sisters death. It would help you to talk about this to others on a more personal basis. Have you ever thought about joining a support group for people who have lost family members suddenly as a result of violence or disasters? Below is a link that might be of some help to you. You have my sympathy. I lost my bro to a car crash several years ago, and I'm still angry with the people who helped cause the accident but I don't let it run my life anymore. Good luck to you, and God bless you.
457101
Yeah, I understand, hon.  It's tough to lose a dad. I lost my dad when I was 24, and it wasn't easy for me either.  Was your dad ill, or was his death sudden?  We don't know why God chooses his special people to be with Him, but know that wherever he is, your dad is watching over you, protecting you from harm, and loving you.  Meantime, talk things over with your mom, and your brothers and sisters if you have any, or even your friends.  Talking about the good times you had with your dad really helps.  In time, the pain will be a lot less, and you'll just be left with good memories.  My thoughts and prayers are with you.  Good luck and God Bless!
68198
I have kinda been there before. My hubbies mom passed away and it was horrible. What you can do is just be there for him. Maybe you and your bf can spend the day with him and make it a day no one will forget. Sometimes all you can do is be quiet and listen to what they have to say. It helps. Good luck I hope that it all works out for you.
548872
Hi hon!\nThis happened to a friend of mine also.  He was 19, had cancer.  Was on some serious medication, but was getting by.  Then we all stopped hearing from him.  Visited his house, but his mom said he had died.  But his shoes were in the hallway.\nSo we all grieved, and moved on.  \nYears later he showed up on one of my friends doorstep.  His mom had told all his friends that he had died.  What a bitch.\nMaybe he didn't want people to see him like that.  Maybe his mom thought his friends would stress him out.  I don't know.  All I do know is we aren't friends with him anymore, we wish him well, but what a terrible thing to do to your "friends".\nSo I shared a little something with you there didn't I?  Take it for what it is, an experience.  Perhaps you aren't getting the whole story either!\nHave a great week...
548501
No, I think it's a part of the whole grieving process.  When I lost my dad, I went through months of clinging to my mom and wanting to talk to her every day, etc.  The reality of losing your parents is what is scaring you; not you dying.  I'm sure you're sick of people telling you that it will get easier...honestly, it will.  I feel for you because of the holidays and all...it will be rough, but you will get through it.  Take care!
527224
Dear Friend - Of course you must tell him you are sorry, but please do more, offer to spend time with him and with his teenagers doing things to help move on.  Offer to drive the kids places.  Offer to be there and to listen when he needs to talk.  \n\nOne thing so many people do is after the funeral they just disappear and they treat you like you have cancer or death is catching or they tell you just to move on, time will heal, etc. and never let you TALK.  Whew!!!!\n\nSorry, got excited.  Good luck.  GBU
607407
My Grandma passed away 6 yrs ago on the 6th of July.......her Bday is June 30th......every yr since she has left.....I go to her gravesite....bring her fresh flowers & just sit for an hr or so....although some people would say I am bonkers.....I talk....I tell her everything....even though I know she is with me on a daily basis....& sees all that is going on....I still do this....it makes me feel like she is really there.....even though I walk away crying...& missing her even more....I know that it something we enjoyed together.....my Grandma was a VERY special woman....I miss her everyday & sometimes just break down & cry whenever I think of her.....I just thank god she was able to meet my daughter before she went....my son was 2 & my daughter was 1 when it happened.....Honey, I know it is hard when it is a Parent.....she was like a mom to me.....just go spend some time with him....pray & remember every good time....even remember the bad times.....just celebrate him.....GOD BLESS YOU in your time of need....
666611
So sorry for your loss!  I can't imagine how difficult that is for you.\n\nOf course you break down!  In the course of life, 3 months is a very short time.  And ... it's okay for you children to see you cry.  Encourage them to express their grief as well.  \n\nI highly recommend grief counseling, for both you and the children.  Perhaps in a group setting as well as individual sessions.  It helps to know that other people experience the same emotions.  Check with your local church, temple, hospital, clinic or mental health clinic to see what is available for you.\n\nAs you are able, spend time doing a scrapbook, photo album, journal, about your feelings, about your life with your husband, about his life.  In time, the hole you feel will feel less deep and black, though you will always miss him and feel the lack of his being with you, but it wont be so devestating to you.\n\nYou are strong!  You can go on, and you can be a good single parent to your children.  Look into programs for them, and are their other male relatives who can help to fill in the gap for them?  Take parenting classes, get support and encouragement (there are groups online, as well as offline).  You can do it!\n\nThings are going to feel less overwhelming.  Hang in there!\nBest of luck to you.
662813
Yes..selfish.\nYou are feeling sorry for yourself and nothing seems to be going your way. \nGo to the funeral. One of your parents just lost their Mother. Think about what they are going through. You need to be supportive.\nYou said (95 years old) in parenthesis as though she should be dead by now ... and why should anybody be surprised or upset.\nYour parent LOVED their Mother ... maybe more so because she has always been there for so long...and they are really hurting right now.\nNothing will go your way with the attitude you have now... Things will look brighter soon.
192642
Its still really close...  Give it time, its a hard thing to deal with.  For now just take one day at a time as they come, and don't get overwhelmed.  Make sure you take care of yourself, and also be sure not to bottle up your emotions, 'cause that will only make things harder.  It probably sound cliche by now, but I'm sorry for your loss, and I hope things work out for you.
517310
Sweetie I'm sorry to hear about yoru loss.  I would like to encoruage you to get some place by yourself for a few miniutes (maybe even the abthroom) and just ask God to strengthen you right now an dto help you to be strong in dealing with your family.  U cannot  stop people from experiencing what they are going through, u just have to be able to let them know you are there for them and be helpful as possible.  And when you go back to the main area where your family is I encourage you to just whisper a prayer to the Lord that he comfort your family esp. those that are taking it the hardest.  As I have typed this I am praying fo r you and the Bible says where 2 or 3 oare gathered in his name he ( God) will be in the midst. And when God is in the midst ANYTHING can change.  God Bless, u, and my condolences to you and your family.
152851
You do have a void in your life. You miss the parents you wish you had. My father passed away more than twenty years go when i was a little girl and i still am having a hard time with it. I don't remember conversations and never got to know him. I miss what i could of had. There is no real getting over it. It's more of accepting the way things are. I know i can't bring him back and it sucks. One thing i read recently i wish i could remember where. The article was about making a patch work quilt in your mind with the people in your life that have the qualities that you would want in a mother or father. Say you have a friend who is really good at listening, that can be a piece of what a mom is to you. Someone else in your life who encourages you is another part of what a mom is to you and slowly you piece together a mother. Instead of getting all of a mom in one person many people end up fill the void that is empty. It will never be the same as the real thing but that is where acceptance is a huge part of learning to cope. You will always miss them and wonder what life would be like with them. I wish i had a better answer for you. Sincerely,if during my journey in finding acceptance with my fathers death i learn something better i will let you know.
305954
I say that you should try to sort of comfort him and lay off of him alittle at the same time. My mom was really sensitive when my grandma died, and she would get upset about the stupidest little things. So my dad,brother and I would all just, you know, hug her and be extra nice to her, but not dissagree or argue or anything like that.Her "depressing stage" went away in acouple of weeks.Well, best of luck to you and your boyfriend.
313449
Please seek some professional help or help from your church.  My good friend did the same thing when her dad died suddenly.  It's been 10 years and I swear she is stuck in a grieving time warp.  She still cries about it today like she did 10 years ago.  She never sought any kind of help or even medication.  You really need someone who can guide you through the grieving process.
584791
I know how you feel.  My husband used to be the same way.  It is a horrible way to live, isn't it?  Just remember that he has a problem and needs help.  Divorce was not an option for me so I stuck it out, hoping that he would change.  He did.   With a little maturing, antidepressants (for both of us I might add) and patience, we made it.\nI always wanted the kind of marriage my mom and dad have.   Loving, caring for one another, laughter and respect.  It took many years, but I finally got it.  We have been married 29 years this year.  It was soooo difficult though.  But well worth the wait.  Please try to talk to your husband about antidepressants.  It really helps my husband not be so angry and irritable all the time.  If you don't feel like you take it anymore (and I know how that is, too)  talk to someone.  It can help more than you realize.  If I can help in some way, please send me an e-mail.  I would be glad to listen.  I didn't have anyone that I felt comfortable enough with to tell all the sorted details to.  Didn't want mom and dad to know how bad things really were.  Good luck and I will say a little prayer for you and your family....:)
627551
Wow, they should be gracious to still have you. Why don't you all work together and help eachother out? Why all this seperation? A family is supposed to be a team, and there is no "I" in team. I would suggest that you all get counseling honestly...before it does kill you. Get help, all of you.