I need someone to tell me how i can not be shy anymore in public and not turn red and get so nervous and everything like that.So could you tell me how I can not be shy any more?
129794
Take a critical look at what makes you clam up. Is it speaking in front of other people? If so, try some public speaking clubs like Toastmasters. Is it that you think people are judging you and you're embarassed? Think about the things that you feel most induce your public panic attacks and deal with those issues. Without more information on why you get like that, I can only generalize, because there can be a lot of reasons for your public embarassment.
443414
Talking to an other person is not a crime.  You may find that it is rather easy to just start a conversation with him and see where it leads.  Being shy is unnecessary.  You are as good as the next person, there is absolutely no reason to be shy.
61647
I find that my self conscienceness doesn't allow me to trust many.  I am 35 and still very quiet and shy.  Close friends are very far and few between.  I only have 1 best friend and I can joke with just about anyone @ work.  But when in public, I am very submissive and self conscience.  I do believe that it henders my ability to have a lot of aquaintances, but I enjoy my alone time and I do not want a bunch of people up in my business.  It is a hard thing to overcome and if people stop talking to you and  give you the "cold shoulder" if you will, then they don't deserve to have your attention,..
107585
you know its funny cause that sounds just like me but i have somebody now.Even though you are a nervous person you just need to get out there and meet people,go out with friends and just have fun.I think you will find sombody.Oh and im still in love with my ex and i dont know how to get over that.
322158
Yeah...it's hard to be outgoing when people already assume you're going to be shy. I was voted Most Shy when I was a senior in high school, but I marched over to the yearbook room and told them flat out that I didn't want it and they could give it to the runner up. Because, despite what the snobby popular kids who decide these things thought, I was past my shy era by then. I'd grown out of it.\n\nI HAD always been shy. In middle school and early high school, I was just quiet and I didn't like being the center of attention. I din't know who I was yet, I guess, and I just never had the confidence. I didn't think I was interesting enough to have people like me.\n\nWhen I was about 15 or 16, I suddenly came to the realization of what I wanted to go to college for (to be a game warden...an outdoor cop) and that changed everything. I think having a really strong interest like that made me come out of my shell. Maybe it was the fact that I was interested in telling everyone about it that did it. And it might have been Lord of the Rings...because I became really obsessed with it about then.......perhaps having those two obsessions just made me so eager to talk about them that I quit being shy. I'm not sure.....anyway, I'd start talking up in class more, and I'd have debates with people where before I'd just let them win.\n\nI'm not sure how this pertains to you...I guess the way to get over being shy is NOT by doing some outrageous stunt. That'll make people notice you, perhaps, but that's affecting THEM, not you. It makes them see you, but doesn't make YOU more outgoing. Instead, try to change yourself, not them. Smile at EVERYONE. Make eye contact with people, and say hello and smile at everyone you see. Speak up in class, and say things to people you don't even know. Like, if youre walking down the hallway and you see someone with cool shoes or something, tell them as you walk past, "Hey, cool shoes!" You don't have to extend the conversation...it's just a way of talking to more people. The more people you verbalize with, the better. If it helps, you can do something that makes you stand out, but without being obnoxious. Like...wear brighter colors so that you're more noticeable. Maybe wear bright blue socks everyday, so that people actually have something to relate with you. Having people think of you as, "That person with the socks" is better than them ignoring you completely.\n\nAnd the number one point: confidence. Stop worrying about what THEY think, instead realize that you're your own person, and they should like you for that. Learn to LAUGH. When people see that you laughing and smiling, they'll see that you're not shy anymore. And don't forgetm it's OK to be wierd. You're defined by what makes you different.\n\nGood luck!
574702
Shy people are often stronger for their childhoods.  I just read an article about shy CEOs, who would much rather be at home by themselves then schmoozing at a party.  I was shy growing up and I think the difference that I saw as a girl was that, my inntroverted nature often led me to be seen as a bitch.  I didn't talk to people a lot so they assumed I thought I was better then them, when in reality I was just shy.  There are character aspects that shy people admire about ougoing people and vise versa.  Outgoing people are just more vocal about putting shy people down because often times they wish they could be more reflective.
576318
It's ok to be shy! No one can get that into it and be all experimental that fast. Take your time! It can be a very personal and emotional experience. Not every couple can talk openly about it. But as long as you're being safe (which I'm glad you are), stick with the positions that work best for now. Then slowly suggest little things, like "why don't you turn around this way a little bit." You can also get sex books like at Spencer's Gifts and each read them on your own in privacy so you have some ideas, but it isn't so awkward.\n\nContinue to be safe! It's easy to use protection every time at first, but after awhile, people tend to get careless and think it doesn't matter as much.
300568
Just speak...even random things....talk about the weather, or just start up a conversation. Are you shy? Or do you just not know what to say? I used to be shy..still am....but you gotta gotta learn to come out of your shell. Like I said...strike up a conversation no matter how hard it is...believe me, it works.
301578
I can relate with you as even I am an introvert but I try my best to step out of the comfort zone. Make a conscious effort everyday to say Hi to everyone you know. That would improve your confidence with the people you know. Once you realise you are being accepted by them, you will slowly gain confidence and then you can try the same with meeting new people. A casual talk on the weather or the surrounding is the perfect ice-breaker. Its all in the mind, and once you conquer it no one can stop you from being an extrovert.
162581
I'm sorry to hear your having such a rough time of it here, why don't you get involved in the community, a church or civic center or volunteer at the local hospital..the more you get out and about the more people you will meet. it is okay that your shy, time will solve that. just have confidence in yourself and know that you will be fine. Hang in there
322078
Sounds to me like you need friends who will encourage you and be confidence builders. You're going it alone and your shyness is holding you back and this is where good friends will step in and give you support. Reach out, make friends who will help you feel more secure about yourself. Some of us here list our emails and message links to be of help. Take advantage of this and the experience others may have that can offer you support and advice as friends should.\n\nBest Wishes!!
146041
Hi,U know I used 2 have the same problem... first of all... DO NOT FEEL LESS than other people,second: if someone comes by N U start blushing or gettin nervious, just imagine that person stading in an empty space with NOTHING but the opposite sex's underwear on,THIRD: let GO,hang loose,B confortabe,if U pretend everything's under control everything WIIL B under control,N lay back  relaxed,keep in mind YOU ARE WAAAAY better than the rest and if U DO say something stupid DON'T GIVE A FUCKIN' SHIT ABOU WUT THEY SAY OR MIGHT THINK ABOUT U,\n\nN fInally,whe U put all these on practice N B-come a more confident guy,find a girl who's a bit shy N THAT will B the perfect girl 2 start a conversation with,N hopefully date.... well this is wut I did N now I have a much better life,I realy hope it works 4 U .\n\nFeel free 2 E-mail me @ : debbie_free2nite@yahoo.com
206898
try a love note and flowers.  sorry; i don't know a cure for shyness.  I used to be, but it's been fading recently.  Just try diving in and doing it.  If you start hesitating, just do it without thinking (worked about 50% of the time for me)
131878
There's nothing wrong with being a little shy....some guys find it attractive.  But, if YOU don't like being shy, retrain yourself.  Start by making eye contact with strangers while your shopping.....add a smile....eventually a "hi, how are you?".  I know-it sounds simple and goofy...but it works.  Strangers aren't as threatening as people we know or like. It will still feel uncomfortable at first.....but what have you got to lose.  It also helps to have a few ready made questions for you meet people.  They could be school, family, or hobby related......you get the idea.  Good luck.  You'll be happy to know that confidence comes with age!
492735
I am the same way.  I turn red so often it's not even funny.  But I have learned in some situations I can control it.  I make fun of myself.  I had to talk to a large group of people and I opened up with not only do you get a good speaker I change colors too.  Once I laughed about it - it made it so much easier to cope with.  I just kinda laugh about and I have gotten more confident with it.
596745
Relax - you are fine the way you are.  Most people are extroverted but is perfectly normal to be introverted (which I also am)  Introverts have great personalities (which I don't doubt you also have) but we often come across as aloof and shy to people who don't know us well or that we just don't "click" with.  This is fine and it's not a big deal.  \n Bravo to you for being a waitress - a job where you are constantly dealing with strangers - I'm sure you must have pretty good social skills to be doing that.  \n There is a difference between being shy and simply having a quieter, more introspective nature.
436073
Wow, you sound a lot like me.\n\nI have problems trusting people too.  But sometimes... I can't stay quiet and I start trusting people.  But then I get afraid and I runaway from them.\n\nYou need to find a friend you could trust and try your best to not runaway from (if you are anything like me).  \n\nEmail me if you want and I could try to help.  It seems we have a lot in common.