Are any of you married to police officers? Any advice for me on how to deal with them. Dealing with the pressures of shiftwork has already been a challenge, but what about their occasional moods and attitude. My partner can be down on society (as he obviously deals with scumbags) and I worry about the sorts of things he sees at work and how that affects his mental health.
119479
i work in a prison so i know scum but you could ask him to try and leave work there tell him it bothers you [remember communication @love can over come anything]
79165
Most all people have some sort of mental illness. The key is are you being affected emotionally or physically by this person. If the answer to this is yes then take it from an middle aged person suffering daily from a boss and mother that are mentally ill. This has had a HUGE affect on my life and my children. So MY advice is to look for another job in an organized manner and make the move if you have any of the above issues.There are bosses that donot get off on power struggles.I have one now. BEST TO YOU.
589460
Ew...I think he's just a big cheese. Who really says things like that without underlying meanings? He's probably just trying to get laid. And I agree with the lady who posted first, I am kind of offended that that is how he described the work we do. My marriage is more like a  partnership where we share all of the responsibilities whether it be child-rearing, house-cleaning, or working. I don't like being described as someone whp has the dinner on the table by five o'clock and has the kids bathed so my husband doesn't have to do a thing to help. That's just ridiculous.
260332
yes. i worked for the police department and you not only spend 8 hours in a patrol car with your partner; but, eventually, you go to your code-7(lunch or dinner break)..and sometimes, your meal conversation can seem just like a date...and you're sitting next to that person all night..........and, did i mention, you're with that person for 8 hours.
539441
Good morning, dearheart. Good for you. here's my take on gay marriage. I've been married to the same wonderful lady for the last 26 years. She drives OTR semi for a living and I'm a housewife. We both wear wedding rings and feel as married as the next heterosexual couple but I can get none of her health benefits. How my union is hurting society I can't fathom as our relationship has been monogamous for all of it's 26 years and that same union has lasted longer than many heterosexual marriages. There are couples on the LGBTQ site here that have been together for over 40 years (which is a great thing in its own right) How can their love be hurting anyone? Good luck and Blessings on you.
330009
I'm not a cop, but I am a husband.  Since I love my wife, I would hope she could come to me in confidence that I would want the best for her, and would try to help her to the best of my ability.  NOW after a few times of it, I may have to reconsider.  That being said, I have family who are cops and they are very letter of the law, and seem very strict.  I know it would be intimidating to approach a "COP" to tell them you have a drug problem.  So you need to approach your "HUSBAND" and let then know you have a problem, that you need help and are asking for their support.
62385
I went through a similar situation....what I discoved was that it wasn't anything I had done, but the people he was housed with were either jealous we had a strong relationship and they didn't or just "got off" on seeing other people "hard time". They have a lot of time to think in there, and their own insecurities get the best of them sometimes. Hang in there! My husband has been out for 1 1/2 years, and everything has worked out. I wish the same for you.
415117
Most of us suffer from some for of post traumatic stress disorder.  Especially those who saw combat.  We were programed to kill people and break things to act as police in the most unusual chaos without the training to do it.  I remember being told to suit up in MOPP gear, a chemical weapon suit and learn how to fire so I could continue on with the mission when all I could think of was getting the hell out of the contaminated area.  also taking a life offsets you years after you do it.  Especially the bloody ones or the younger ones.  You usually have no choice but you dwell on it constantly when you get out.  Best solution is to talk with other people who have experienced what you have, don't break any confidences but open up as much as you can.  it has helped me some.
304712
I don't think it will be a good idea..it may cause alot of problems, for example..you will always want to protect her so she will feel like you are not letting her do her job..then there's jealousy..the list can go on..I think it may be best to work differnt divisions or something, but you never know there are cops out there that are married and work together it's all about understanding and not trying to be the better cop..Good Luck
312652
hello, greeting from Great Britain.\nwell yeah we get something like that in some areas.\nsome sick people still doing this sorts of things and the reasons for this because the polices are not doing their job properly. NOT SO GOOD !!!!!!!!
9728
I tend to disagree with the above answer. As a police officer there are siuations you are forced to deal with. Depending on your own mental stability and ability to work thru your own crisis ,along with everybody elses, at the same time is dependent on how you can deal with this stress. The sight of a young child screaming, burning or dead weighs heavy on every officer's mind. The fact you may be envolved with something out of your control sends many officers over the edge. There was a study done and the average age of a police officer is 52. Police officers have the highest suicide rate of any other profession. Living with the fact that as you put the uniform on the thought that you may never make it back home to hug your children or spouse again can be devestating. Each officer should be proud of what they do, and I proudly call each and every one my brother or sister.
199879
gotta throw in my 2cents, I carry concealed about 95% of the time I go out and every time I am on a date. Why? well i was in law enforcement for 12yrs (i know ex-cop) and I saw a lot of ugly things happen during my "tour". The long and short is I could never forgive my self if something happened to someone I loved or cared about because I was unable to react to a situation. HOWEVER if a situation arose, i would remain a trained observer and attempt to relay all info to the PD on my cell phone unless i had no other option. Having said that, I know of people that carry and they scare me too, so I see both sides.
446125
I'm not sure what kind of input you're looking for but I think you got some pretty decent input.  I'd tell you the same thing.  I was married to someone like that and he got very abusive with me.  You should definitely dump him.  I wouldn't give someone like that the time of day and if you actually cared about yourself at all you wouldn't either.  You're trying to look for answers within yourself that aren't there.  You can't blame yourself for the way he is.  Hes got serious problems and you'll have the same if you don't get away from him!  Good luck!
283810
Damn, I wish I had his problems, I am a man and I am going through the exact same thing. It's hard when you want to be with a person and you feel they do not want you. I have tried going on trips just the two of you. If nothing else works ask flat out what is up? This was a good month for me, I got it more than once a week, I still had to beg a few times but at least I got it. I know for a fact it is going to be different this month, I will be begging more but I love her.
478356
I've worked for 3 police/sheriff's agencies in my career in law enforcement.  In none of these was there "gov't sanctioned, organized crime" ... what I did see was good, honest men risking their lives daily for an unthankful public.  Oh sure, we get thanked occasionally, but most of the time people are just upset that we won't/can't do what they want us to do - not because we don't want to, but because the laws tie our hands.  I have seen some of the men be rude, snide, or curt ... usually after having seen someone's guts strewn along the highway or some other stressful call - not that it's an excuse, but somewhere along the line you get frazzled and don't have patience anymore.  I've seen men go above and beyond what our job description calls for and have seen the citizens turn around and try to sue them and/or the agency in return.  I've seen people crazed on drugs and alcohol shoot at MY officers because they beat the crap out of their spouse and we responded to help.  I've seen some drunk and high little punk run from an officer trying to stop him for for a minor traffic offense... and end up slamming into an innocent citizen that was just out driving.  He also had a suspended driver's license ... which is why he ran in the first place.  The officer and fire and rescue got the little punk out of his vehicle and saved his life.   We've responded to wildlife calls when the Game Warden refused or couldn't respond ... for instance, when a bear was trying to get into someone's home.   Regular officers are not even trained in that nor do they usually have the proper equipment.  People who are wanted by the police are often stopped for traffic offenses and end up shooting/killing the officer ... but that doesn't stop them from doing traffic stops.  Domestic situations often go bad and officers are hurt when they respond ... but it doesn't stop them from showing up and helping a victim in need.  You wonder why officers are sometimes curt or rude?  They deal with the unknown everyday and never know when the next person will start fighting them or shooting.  They go to work everyday not knowing if it will be their last.  \n\nYes, there are corrupt cops.  Thankfully I haven't had to work with any of them.  I cannot condone their actions ... but I can also see that for the pay they receive (a LOT of officers have to take a second job to pay the bills - they sure don't do the job for the paycheck) and the dangers/stresses of the job (we work holidays, weekends, nights, you name it ... a lot of places work 12 hour shifts - officers are often called into court on their days off, too), why some do it.   I have worked with officers who have had a slight "I am God" attitude, mostly the young ones who haven't learned better ... and I have seen them put into their place.  If you think you can do better, why not apply to your local agency, go through the months of training, and put yourself on the line protecting the public?  Lord knows any agency I've seen always needs more officers.
381068
I am a cop.  I love it when I'm able to help someone.  If it's as simple as giving directions to a lost out-of-towner...to stopping a spouce from another beating.  \nI really really dislike it when race is interjected into a situation when it wasnt a factor. ie...you pulled me over cause I'm hispanic...black.....asian...white (yes, I'm white and someone really did say that to me once)...when it's 3 AM and I'm pulling them over for a burned out headlight.  :(\nIt's all part of the job.  You handle it and understand we can't make everone happy all the time.  \nI've had people yell and spit at me, and the next day, their daughter is gone and they are crying for our help.  And of course we help as much as we can.\nI know not every officer feels this way, but most of us do.  Our's is a life of service.
464220
Well, first off, I must say that I am a little offended, because I didn't know that people were actually giving out this kind of advice. I am a bi-polar manic depressive, and I am marrying someone that is not. We have been together for 3 1/2 years already, and our relationship is fine. I wouldn't ever advise someone that they shouldn't marry someone they love just because they have bi-polar disorder. There is nothing wrong with us. We function just like everyone else, it's just that usually we need medication to help us do it. So called "normal" people have their own crutches instead of medication too...drinking, smoking, driving to fast, spending too much money, that kind of stuff. So what makes us so different that we shouldn't be able to marry people that the world has deemed "normal?"