When we are around family or friends or even strangers he verbally puts me down. Then he acts as if he isn't doing anything, when I call him on it. What should I do? Are other women going through this? My family is starting to say stuff to me about it...I gotta resolve this issue. Thanks.
137009
You may get this right away or not.\n\nThe bottom line is that he wants to control you. By putting you down he feels superior in some warped way. \n\nAs long as you continue to allow this treatment of you he will continue to disrespect you. \n\nhttp://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/womansemotionalabusesupport/\n\nThere is help for understanding this mess at this site.\n\nOne question to you: do you call him on it in front of his public? Or do you wait till you are alone? \n\nI would call him on it right in front of those who he wants to impress. Sunlight kills the mildew.
428327
I hate it when they won't respect or listen to you, but still ask your opinion and want your approval and won't leave you alone about the topic unless you say something affirmative.  Erg. I'm sorry for you, but there is nothing more you can do but continue being his daughter and hope for the best.Treat him well.
190363
I wouldn't sit around and wait on the call. If someone has to provoke me, that's not a boyfriend. Is he trying to start a fight over guilty feelings about something???? The only way to get past this is to have an honest talk. Why does he provoke you....why is everything "in his hands"....why the hurtful talk....???? Both sides need to be honest with each other and act more maturely and respectfully towards each other.
157437
thats can be a tough one. maybe talk to some other people and of her family members that may have the same concerns. get together as a group...not a very large group. maybe you a friend and a fam member...keep it small so she doesn't feel like she's being attacked all at once. tell her your concerns. get some information ready on women in abusive relationships....ie: support groups or counsellors that specialize in that area. cause this sounds like its developing into a pattern that you want to nip in the bud now before she really gets in the deep end. explain to her that its out of love and concern for her and her well being. there are some obvious self esteem issues there for her if she feels she can't stand up for herself or let this guy treat her like that. all you state though is he is being mean. how is he mean. there is no excuse, but, what the situation is will have something to do with how to handle it. cause he may need help of a couples counsellor. he may not be aware of his behaviour and how its affecting her. and if they talk it out it may be able to resolve the problem. if he is hitting and being physically or verbally abusive......then she should get out. cause someone does not need to put up with that for any reason. he needs help no matter what...but if its gone to that then talk to her. maybe get feed back from other people phone a victim support hotline on the situation. i'm sure it can be anonymous if you call
626261
sorry girl they are annoying no matter what ya do!!!  sounds like he feels insecure about the relationship, is there anything you can do to make him feel more secure?  Are you providing him with his love language?  ( what ever makes him feel most loved, etc., gifts, words of affirmation, or acts of service?)  if not try something, anything that will help him know you are still in love with him.
421700
Sounds like you both are trying to work through this. Unfortunately sometimes arguments do occur, the only thing is when the dusts settles what then? I believe that by him not telling you right away that this or that was not exactly what he expected seems he is trying to be tolerant. Where he is trying maybe not to impose on you all the time what he think or how he thinks things should be. But if he bottles it up and then waits to explode letting you have it all at once, you are right he really should tell you then and there. Not bottle it up and make him resent or get so angry.  He has to realize you fess up to things you tell him "Oh I had no idea I was coming across that way" so he has to know you are not intentionally doing things to  irritate him. Keep talking, keep telling him to tell you.  Tell him "Hey let post this or that and have people who don't know you and don't know me, tell us what they think is going on. People who have nothing to gain"  People who do this just because we've all been there and think Hey maybe someone else can benefit from past mistakes.   Good Luck to you and him I really hope it works out for you two.
363823
I do very much. I don't talk to friends, go around family and very seldom talk to my mom on the phone (if I don't call for a day, she calls..so I do talk to her). Try to keep your marriage together. It sounds like you need to try to convince to go see a therapist to deal with this. It's important for you to ALWAYS be there even if he pushes you away. Some times when I am depressed I tell everyone to leave me alone and they do..but that's not what I wanted.then when they leave me alone, I think they don't care.\n\nAs far as his mother dieing, he is probably still grieving and missing her..that may be why he is depressed. The other family members may not want to be around him..maybe they are afraid or they are still grieving too.\n\nIt has NOTHING to do with you. It's a thing depressed people experience.  If you can't get him to go see somebody maybe you should (or go together). they can tell you what you can do to help him.
247124
He sounds like a spoiled brat with reality issues. She needs to drop him ... NOW! \n\nAnd yes, it's possible to affect someone's mental health by that sort of behavior, especially if they have rather delicate mental stability.
539960
Umm, why is this guy who is supposed to love you so much getting listening to what other people say about you and taking his relationship cues from that advice?  He shouldn't be listening to anyone else but himself.  Moreover, he's being unreasonable with this whole move thing, but that's characteristic of men--they can be selfish.  Still, if you have explained to him that it's difficult for you and he still doesn't get it, then stop explaining.  Nothing is served by you constantly having the same discussion/argument with him about you two living together and you moving to the USA.  Moreover, if what you're doing to comfort him about his grandmother isn't working, then stop.  My experience has been that it's hard to comfort men when a close relative, friend, etc. passes away.  My ex-husband's father died after we had been married for one year and I had no idea how to comfort him except to remind him of what our religion says about death.  Other than that, the only people who could comfort him properly were other family members (i.e. siblings) because they were going through the same thing.  Just be there for him, call him to check on him, make sure he's not slipping into depression and if you can, pay a personal visit to him just to reiterate that you care and love him and will be there for him in his time of need.
15144
i can't tell you what he's thinking, but i'm having troubles understanding why he wouldn't call you, especially since you've had two deaths in your family.  i would expect myself to make sure to call often and try to be as comforting as possible.  maybe that isn't his view, but who knows...\nwell...you want an opinion...\n\nfirst of all, most guys will say that they love you even if they don't.  some guys will say it because they believe it, but then realise later that maybe they don't really like you in the same way that they thought.  maybe he's having second thoughts now about getting married.  and yet, maybe not.  maybe he really does love you as much as he says but is having issues in his own life that are occupying him at the moment.\n\nif he isn't even calling you in times when you might need him more, he probably will avoid you in future times when you need him.  ask him why he doesn't ever call you and find out his reasoning behind it, if there is any.  maybe he's just trying to leave to alone because he thinks you need space so you can recover from the recent happenings, but i don't know.  calling you is just a simple thing that doesn't take much effort.  how much effort is he going to put into your marriage if he's showing this much now in something like that.\n\nthat's just my opinion, though, and really i have no idea what he's thinking, so maybe it's quite inaccurate.
647762
Girl you need to do whats right for you and your kids.If you feel like he's not taking you seriously then you have to figure out if its really a problem for you if so you need to let him know this is how you feel, and if he's still acting like he don't care then girl get up and do it.I know he's your husband but don't let nobody stop you from doing something you want to do.Sounds like he trying to keep you on lock..
541914
yeah...myhusband nags more than i do, and im the woman!  he gets mad about EVERYTHING.  helping me with the garbage, with dishes, cleaning, always looking over my shoulder and asking my why im doing what im doing and getting mad because i tell hi to leave me the hell alone or dont answer.   whats up with it?!
561348
A good friend of mine is going through the same thing with her man right now.  I don't think his actions have anything to do with whether or not he loves you.  It sounds like he has a very demanding family.  If they are used to having him all to themselves, it is possible that they are being "catty" on purpose and trying to come up with reasons to take him away from you.  It is normal to love your baby boy, but not to the point where you become selfish and competitive for his time against a woman that he is trying to share his life with.  \n\nIf he has grown up being a "pleaser", he probably finds it very hard to say no to his mother and sister because he doesn't want to let them down.  There is really nothing you can do until he realizes there is a problem and sets them straight.  He needs to learn to stand up to them and say, "I'm sorry, I can't help you tonight...my girl and I already have plans...but I would be happy to help you tomorrow."  There's nothing wrong with that and his family is not going to love him less for saying so.  They're acting like little kids that will keep pushing to see how much they can get away with.
178652
make the first move, then if he pushes you away, ask if it makes him uncomfortable. maybe he's not the "clingy" type, or he might just think of you as a friend. there's other things that might help you: has he said he loves you? if yes, he's probably just confused. does he say anything about you to his friends? if he says good things, he's not embarassed that you're dating; if he says negative things, then you should talk to him. does he treat you like you're the only woman he needs and take care of you/protect you? if yes, he's probably a keeper, but just confused. email me if you have any other questions manda082@yahoo.com
144082
from the sounds of it he's just saying things to make you feel better, but then goes back against them.  maybe it just makes him insecure to realize that you can go out and do everything, and then what do you need him for? \nbut more likely it's putting up a false front, then cutting it out from under you to make you more dependant upon him.  he likes his cozy little life of having you do everything for him.  if he has the time to pester you about things he wants done, then he has time to do them himself.\nhe might not realize what he's doing, but the first step in this is to ask him about it.  if you are scared of the outcome of having a serious discussion with him about the relationship, then there are definatly some major problems with it...
530522
He sounds like a jerk. Give it up. You know he's playing games with you, you just wanted to hear it from someone else. Yes- give it up.
545684
Why is his snapping at you and pushing you away? He seems unhappy about something in his life. Make sure you ask him about what is going on. He seems to be blaming his problems on you, look carefully at your actions, are you doing something that upsets him? If so, put a stop to it. Be honest with yourself, don't go on the defensive. If you are being as caring and understanding as you can be however, leave the idiot, he's taking you for granted.