I was dumped by my (on & off again) ex-boyfriend of 11 years.  I loved him more than any man ever and I am heartbroken. It's been over a year since I have seen him and I still miss him so much it kills me. I have been depressed and have gained a bunch of weight which of course makes me feel terrible about myself. I used to feel like a hot babe but since he dumped me I don't feel good about myself at all. I KNOW that he has someone else in his life and that hurts, especially since I have no one. It's so hard to meet men (in my 30's) anyway, where are they? He has said horrible things to me and about me and I dwell on them but I wish I didn't. What can I do to move on? Sometimes I think we need to have some sort of "resolution" but he won't see me or talk to me.
131301
I am sorry.  I think many men set up a female on the side so they can do these dramatic walk-outs and start a brand new life without a regret.  Meanwhile, the woman is left with her guts blown out, all this self-doubt and second guessing about herself.  Look, he's a jerk.  He's way more than a jerk.  He planned his escape months before you were aware.  He's a worm and a coward.  He's not the man you give him credit for being.  He's a self-absorbed selfish bastard.\n\nTell yourself every day he's a selfish bastard.  Because he is one and you know it.  Join a gym, start exercising so you feel good about your body and the skin you are in right now.  Don't even think about meeting someone else right now, you aren't ready.  Join a support group or get therapy.  There isn't any shame in that.  This guy robbed you of your feeling of security by his cowardly actions.  You need to reclaim that for yourself.\n\nDon't let one selfish bastard make you a fat recluse!  Get mad, get healed, get on with it!\n\nYou can do it!
582306
I'm sorry to hear that you're missing your ex.  I know it's hard.  I highly recommend a funny but great book by Greg Behrendt (the guy that wrong He's Just Not That Into You).  The book is called:  It's Called a Breakup Because It's Broken.  It's an easy book to read but it's insightful. \n\nUnfortunately, time does heal all wounds.  You aren't there yet because it's still fresh in your mind.  And it feels like FOREVER to you right now.  Keep busy, go out with girl friends, have day pampering yourself, treat yourself to something nice, try something new you've always wanted to do, try something that you're afraid and it'll give you confidence that you were able to over come your fear, or volunteer with children or anyone in need (it'll help a w/ the loneliness).  Focus on you getting the most out of your life even though you don't want to.  At this time it's not about your boyfriend, it's all about you.
77596
I was in your same position, man.  I loved her more than anything and then she left me.  Everything seemed to be going great for the year and a half we were together, then she suddenly dumped me.  A couple weeks later, I found out she had  been cheating on me for about a month.  That was the hardest thing I've ever faced.  Three months later, I still think about it and wonder why she would have ruined the wonderful thing we had.  I know in my heart that I could never take her back (as tempted as I would feel), because I would never be able to trust her the way I once did.  Talk to other people, girls especially, and try to keep your mind off of her.  She'll still haunt you in your dreams though, no way to stop that.It gets better with time.
638785
Don't feel guilty.  Get up and have a fantastic time with this new guy.  You aren't mourning, sweetie, you just broke up with someone!  Enjoy yourself and do what makes you happy!  Never feel guilty for doing something that makes you feel good!
229646
hey sweety,i know how u feeling.. how to move on? think about yourself! u deserve so much joy, ur killing yourself with the anxiety. fight it, keep that friend connection. grow as an individual, improve n develop yourself in the mean time. sounds to me like u will get back together!! wake up each morning n look in the mirror tell yourself that ur the best thing on the planet, dance n hear James Brown wen u walking.. Aaah, feel goood!!!\n\neven if things arent the way u want them, so wat? live life the fullest n enjoy yourself each moment. stop pinning away, be optimistic about yo ex- u will get him back!! relationship issues need time, be patient n it will come to u!! maybe your differences are being worked out by the space n at the same time look yummy for him (eat yo heart out, dude!!) n any other guy out there. u never know..Morris Chestnut, or Brad Pitt (ha!!) maybe watching!!!\n\nlove yourself to death, ur beautiful, talented n he thinkin of u twice as much! why else wud he keep in touch all this while?don feel sorry or wrong, u were right to discontinue yo relationship-u did say twas inevitable, ain it? so enjoy life girl!!\n\nu can do it!!! don u know u unstoppable girl??!!! hey- u got a cute smile..do that often!! smile, i mean!!
549774
that's really horrible and I'm so sorry for your hurting. It will take you a while to get ovr this so just be patient with yourself. cry it out and then cry some more. tell everyone how you feel and get it out. then start making your self feel good. do things you know will make you feel good. do all the things you wished you'd done but couldn't because you were with him. get really fit and healthy. eat well and exercise. have beauty treatments and look fantastic...best revenge really and it will make your confidence go up again. go and visit friends..get away for a while if you can afford it. I'm sending you a big hug to get you started and really wishing you much good from the universe..you deserve it XX M
370449
It can be Stephanie.  It can also be your hormones.  Why not get a medical check up and talk to your physician while you are there?  He or she will have information and questions you need.  It would also help to work on your self esteem.  You have been hurt by a loss (your ex boyfriend) and it is time to deal with it and start to move on.  Take a class like yoga or tennis, something to get in touch with yourself and make you feel good.  Best Wishes.
543724
get over him by making your self feel better. by this i mean go out and buy all new clothes, get a sexy hair cut and make him look at you. some call this retail theropy! the best answer i can give you is try and be round people as much as possible. i just broke up with my boyfriend and now i live by myself and its very deppresing. and always remember never leave the one you love for the one you like coz the one you like will leave you for the one they love.
507195
i can undeerstand, i was wit a guy i KNEW wasnt rite for me for 4 years....i was crazy abt him and d mere thought of losing him made me sick...after 4 years he dumped me coz he had another girl he liked more..i hurt so bad....but i survived, but i know it wud have been much better for my self respect if i had listened to my head and dumped him earlier,....hurt u will b, but better tht u take d initiative now then later, tht will hurt more..
221300
just start working on building back your friendships with those he wouldnt let you contact. concentrate on moving on. i know what its like to date someone who didnt treat you right and kind of left you humuliated that you ever let them get away with those things. as hard as it is, try not to dwell on it, keep doing the things that make you happy and most importantly when you feel ready to date again remember that not all guys are going to treat you like that. it would be so much easier if we could just go back and erase things like that  but since we cant all we can do is rebuild it all and get past it. hang in there :)
262375
I am also going through a break up right now. My BF of 4.5 years broke up with me 3 weeks ago. I was happy with him and he was happy with me, but he didn't know what he wanted out of life, blah, blah, blah. He still loves me and I still love him, so I have hope that we will get back together, but I'm not holding my breath.\n\nI too went through the depressed stage. I found that writing in a journal about how I felt helped alot. It let me get my feelings out without being overly emotional in front of other people. \n\nI am now in the angry stage, where I'm just so mad at him for doing this to me. \n\nI've heard that grief has many stages. My advice to you is to not make contact with him. If he calls don't answer and maybe wait a couple of hours to call him back. Make him think that you don't care.\n\nI wish you the best of luck.\n\n(((((HUGS)))))
179964
Just take things one day at a time, and remember that if you were meant to be with him, you will be eventually.  Take some time to mourn the loss of the relationship; give yourself an hour or two on days that you feel you need it, to turn on sad music, look at old pictures, and cry.  Then drop it, and do something for yourself.  I've had times when I thought the world was ending because of the end of a relationship.  I didn't know how I'd make it.  Eventually after going through this a few times, I realized that I can recover from anything.  So can you.
159203
I don't know of anybody who didn't feel horrible after breaking up. A bond between two human beings is a valuable, special, particularly fragile link. Why not remember the good times you both had? Here's something else to keep in mind: there was probably a reason you both broke up. Was it something you needed to do? There may be a valid reason. And above all: these things take time. You can't expect to jump out of bed the next morning singing and dancing, but it's also equally unhealthy to obsess all the time your ex-boyfriend and your ended relationship. "If the problem persists, it may be necessary to seek professional help," we hear that all the time, but if the problem lasts longer than you think it should, it's probably a good idea to talk to a psychiatrist. ( A female psychiatrist would more likely have experienced what you're going through.)To occupy your time, you could go out with your friends, donate time to a charity, express your feelings through art or writing... however, and I am not trying to disrespect your feelings by any means, you seem a bit young to be dating. Enjoy life.  You'll have the rest of your life to worry about men and boyfriends. You're young, so why not not spend valuable time, instead of thinking of boys, learn to better yourself? Learn to speak German; learn Karate. You'll empower yourself and your self-esteem will rise. I personally wish you the best of luck.
380921
Please don't mistake loneliness for love, because it really doesn't sound like he gives a sh*t about you. \n\nYou are convenient when he wants you, but when he gets restless, you get dumped.\n\nDon't give him the satisfaction of being the more powerful. Take a stand, tell him to hit the road, once and for all. \n\nYou are a powerful, strong woman, who can take control of this situation. It will take one day at a time, but you will get through this. Don't fall for his crap, and take him back again. Things will just keep going round in this circle if you do. It's time to break the cycle. \n\nIf you feel like you can't do this on your own, I am sure there would be a support group of some description out there, you could ask for advice.\n\nRemember, you are strong, beautiful, powerful.\n\nGood Luck and HAPPINESS in your future.
563678
Welcom to the club. I am still to this day getting over a 5 yr relationship (two years after the fact) So I am speaking from experience.  The Only thing that I can tell you is when people say time heals all wounds it may be true but it will always leave a scar. The worst thing you can do right now is get involved with someone else. Because your ex still has your heart. I know it hurt when you spend so much time with one person and then one day its all over. You all had a bond where you were not just 2 people but 1 soul. Its hard to let that go, you just cant let it consume you. The best thing to do is get to know yourself again. because when you were with your ex you lost yourself in him.\n  If you plan on reuniting with him, you hae to sincerly think about how much you love this man, and is he worth 4giving. We as humans all make mistakes. Men, Our flesh is weak, and even though we may cheat we still love our girlfriend. One thing to remember with men there are 2 types of sex. Sex we just want to have and sex we dont want anyone else to have. The sex we just have is meaningless its just something to do. (Probably how your boyfriend was feeling when he was cheating) and The sex we dont want nobody else to experience is the sex with that special lady in our life. He would have probably killed himself if he cought you in bed with another man, no matter how many times he's cheated. \n  Or maybe he is just crying out for attention by treating you like crap. (Men do act like childreen sometimes) Maybe he dosnt like a recent change you've made. The only way to know is talk to him. (Hint on talking to men: He's not going to be direct, Men are not as vocal with expressing there feelings. Just take what he says and ponder on it for a day or two.)\n\nNow take 2 of deez and call me in the mornin'\n\nOh yeah, Good luck with your choice
664566
Girl I am so sorry and I completly understand what you are going through. I recently broke up with my FIANCE and it has been so hard not see or talking to him.  I am trying to focus more on improving myself like going to the gym and I am going to get some certifications in my job.  Basically I am tring to improve myself FOR MYSELF.  I suggest you do the same maybe join some clubs in your area to meet new people.  anyway, email me if you need someone to talk to.
374972
i recently went through something similar to this myself. i know you probally feel horribly depressed right now, and thats because you're heartbroken. i can tell you that eventually the pain does go away...take some time to grieve and then try to forget about him. someone once gave me a piece of advise that really helped me:\n\nbeing heart broken is like being in the dark.... and everytime you think your getting close to the light switch you just stub your toes. and you have to start all over again. but there is a light switch there. it might take a little bit to find it. but one day you will get there......... it might take awhile to get over this guy... but always remember... through all those stubed toes there is a lightswitch