One of my friend had let me down infront of a gal who had played fool with me and him.He,inspite of knowing that the other gal is no good had written her a mail de-rating me.I had the shock of my life when i read that mail which was forwarded to me by that gal herself.Iam really down with this.I already had problem trusting men and this incident had completely drained my hope on men.iam 22 now and will get married in another 3 years down the line,iam afraid this very thought of not trusting men wud create problems for me in my marriage life.please help!
132365
I know you feel as though you may never trust another guy, and I don't blaim you.  You've been hurt badly. But your not the only one. You probably will say that I'm talking nonsense when I say this.  But it is true. NOT ALL GUYS ARE THE SAME!.  you'll realize that one day, but don't give up or you will never know that those words are true.  I'm a guy, but I'm honest. Something you won't find in many people. But there are alot of other out there that are honest.  You only have to look.  I"m sure this isn't the first time you've been hurt by a guy. And it may not be the last.  But if you give up, then you'll only be miserable your whole life.  And that's not a life to live.  Don't give up only because of what other have done.  Because NOONE is the same as anyone else.
17082
They simply say this statement because they want to keep you holding on to their balls but really they are afraid of commitment and don't want to let you know because they know they will lose you. I think if they flirt and talk to other women though, you should not distrust them. I think flirting is nature and I don't care what anyone says, everyone does it from time to time. So go out there and do it in front of him and see what he has to say about it.
77616
Its how it goes. I am sorry that you had your heart broken. It's just how it unfolds, you shouldn't worry too much about your past relationships, move on to the future ones. I think I have an understanding of most women, but then again I have a hard time figuring out why men act the way they do. In the end I only know why I do what I do.\n\nWomen aren't evil in my opinion. There are good and bad members off all the genders. The main thing to focus on is how you behave and act in a relationship.\n\nKeep on looking and don't lose hope, there is love out there for everyone. Believe in true love.
675214
Talk to her, apologize.\nHope she'll have you back.  You may have to work at it.\nWomen don't trust men like you, better be prepared to prove you'll behave this time.\n& don't ever make the same silly Mistake again.
573867
uh, why do either of you need your own friends of the opposite sex? Any friends me and Hubby have, are both our friends, (usually other cpls) but we never have over friends of the opposite sex that we are both not friends with. He is 'friends' with everyone @ his work, (male and female) but never hangs with them other than at lunch, or the 1-2 times a yr their is a work party, or Christmas party, both of which I go to with him. One chick tried to get some alone time with him, but he told her no. (this was a few yrs back) I know what she was trying to do and it made me mad as heck, but he thinks she meant nothing by it. Wrong! Guys are very naive sometimes. Sounds to me like she's trying to wedge herself in there. I wouldn't suggest you getting a 'friend' too, I would suggest counciling to figure out why either of you feels the need for seperate friends. I can totally relate though, cause men always assume if you talk about another guy, (like oh so and so did this) or whatever, even when it's nothing, just you mentioning another guy's name, even in telling a story, makes them think you want the guy. But yet they can't see that when a woman hangs on to their every word (like she appears to be) or tries to spend time with a married man, that she is up to no good. A good councelor may be able to help him see that. Make sure you go to one that believes in manogomy though, because I know there are some strange councelors out there that swing and all that though, (saw one on Montel) so be careful where you go. I would definitely put an end to it, though.now.
514298
Are you for real???\nLet me tell you! If you feel your being lied to! then Dump his azz! there are losts of men out there! And some pretty damn good ones too! Sounds to me like The guy in question is not only disrespectfull, decetfull, but is probably inexperianced with women also! Remember!\nOnce a cheat! Always a cheat! Dump him!
459240
There are no guarantees like what you are looking for. It is probable that your insecurities are a sign to you of the obvious and likely possiblility. What amazed me, and I wonder how many picked it up, was that you did not say that you were fearful of losing her to another female. Now that is interesting!
420806
i'm basically an honest person myself, but get over it. if you don't like cheating, avoid it.  but some things are just not worth worrying about and feeling guilty about for too long. just reading your letter tells me that you must be a very honest person. and also very young and too idealistic. a mistake like that shouldn't make you hate yourself as much as you do. it also doesn't undo all the good things you've been and done in the past.  as long as you strive to be a better person, you should be okay. but you should also enjoy yourself more and loosen up.
608285
You were suspicious to begin with, hence you "checked" his email.  Now your suspicions are confirmed.  I would call a marsvenus coach to find out a) what to do and b) how can you regain your trust in this or any man.  You cannot have a healthy relationship where there is no trust.  Time for you to address all your past relationships and childhood wounds to determine why you were suspicious in the first place--was it his behaviour or your problem that drove you to check the email?
110091
I would seriously evaluate the love of my life idea. Then take a good look at how good of a friend you have.  Most friends are gonna stick wit ya for a long time.  Men see one thing wrong and hit the door.
587730
Please, please, please tell her or at least your best friend.  My husband cheated on me for years and a lot of people knew about it.It made the situation worse.  I feel like they were laughing at how stupid I was for not knowing.  I also felt betrayed by them.  They are NOT my friends; they and my husband made me feel like such a loser.  My husband and I are working on our marriage and he and I lost a lot of good friends over his cheating.  My life will never be the same.  I will never trust my husband again and a lot of joy at the 'little things' is now gone.
107888
Because by other experiences girls generalize that men are liars... because someone cheated this way, we see a pattern here... just show your girl what you do, take her onece and she will know that you are the exeption to the rule, its not natural, but some women think of you as dogs hunting and she might trust you but not the people you are among of, so let her meet your buddies, and let her know theres nothing to hide she will trust you more because theres information saying how do you feel ok... Be truthfull and this will set you free of explainning yourself everytime you hang out with your friends ok... \nBest of luck!
295611
I want to say that your friend is wrong for going about it the WRONG way. She should have been honest and maybe it wouldn't feel so bad when it's happened. You have every right to feel betrayed because she was not completely honest with you. Nevertheless we all are humans and as the person before me stated, people act on their instincts. She had a crush on him, or maybe she thought she did or whatever it may be, the realization is that they're having that special thing while you're hurt from it. What I would do is move on. I'd give her my well-wishing and if I could handle being friends with her, I'd maintain contact with her. Don't fall for the "third-wheel" plots, I hate those, make sure to avoid them because you may find yourself becoming extremely angry at your friend and her not knowing it. That's all I can see myself doing in this situation is just moving on. Good luck with this.
610087
Poor thing. Have you been burned recently? I feel your pain. Ok. Mind games. Men have egos, huge egos. When a woman he thinks is his (and 'only' his) is seen with another man, even a friend or anything similar, ego says "Hey, if other egos sees my lady with someone else, I am less of a man. This is unallowable. I should make her jealous to make her focus on me." \nThis is a broad generalization of course, but it seems that this is the case a lot of the times, and guys hate to admit that they are not in control of the situation. Everyone judges us by the kind of mate we can find. If you have a chunky girlfriend, you are a chubby chaser and cant hack a fine chick. If you have a fine chick, guys envy you but also try to ruin what you got. Its a bit of a juggling act, and mind games are just one way to juggle so many balls in the air at once. On behalf of the thinking man, sorry for the mind games, its a defense mechanism.
565128
Don't feel bad, I have the same problem. I think it's because we as woman feel that being a friend is one of the most important steps that lead to a successful relationship. The thing is, men feel that once they establish a good meaningful relationship with a woman, it's something that they do not want to jeopardize losing, especially if they value friendship. So, to avoid getting shot down or possibly losing a good friend, they play it safe, i.e. keep you as a good friend especially when they need someone to talk to about their problems.
626940
I read your question and your answers.....no one attacked you. I was expecting to read some evil, vulgar things....but no.  There was one or two in which they were quite blunt with you, but all the others were quite sensitive and informative.\n\nBut, on this thing people are going to be jerks. Even to the most legit questions get a$$hole remarks. \n\nPersonally, I think you should have confirmed the rumor with him, before just dumping him. I mean, you've known the guy for  4 years, so you HAVE to know how is with women......right?\n\n To avoid that happening again is kind of an impossibilty. Because, most people put on such a facade in the beginning of a relationship.
598144
YOUR RIGHT men are dogs and it's not always the girls fault  for what they do (i admit sometimes it is) but I do think that your friends are using the fact that you are angry with men in general against you.  They need to ask themselves if they would feel the same way you do if they were put in those types of positions.  Don't stay mad thought cause one day you will meet a really nice guy that deserves you and you don't want your bitterness to ruin that.  And NO it isn't you I'm married to a  faithful man and I feel the same way you do.