i was going out and living with the father of my 10month old daughter and then he moved 9 hours away to sart a new life(4 us)and left me here to wait do you thin he really loves us or is he leveing help
128027
no one on this forum can answer your question.  You need to talk to him.
590126
I know this will be the hardest thing for you to do, but you need to let go of this person. He sounds like he can't commit, and he would be a lousy father. You also need to let go of the idea that he is going to change, or that you two will spend your life together. \nYou need to turn to your friends and family for support and strength now. You need to focus and take care of yourself and your child.\nDon't waste anymore time on this person. There is someone out there who will love you and be there for you the way you deserve (and yes, you deserve to be treated well and lovingly). But you won't meet him until you have your life together and have moved on.
625020
you know am feeling really bad for you...i mean you love him so much but seems he doesnt values it...i know how painful all this is...whatever you have written here gives a hint that he doesnt loves you as much as you do & i think you are aware of this fact very well...thats the reason you are writting here...i would make no comments about your decision of going back to him was right or not because there is no point pondering over the past but you should be able to take a decision for your future...just tell me one thing, why do you want someone to be around even when you know he doesnt cares...you deserve a lot better than this jerk (am sorry to call him this but i think he really is)...i know its damn tough but i would suggest you move on & find a different meaning in life...how long can you keep on loving someone who doesnt loves you...am sure this might be affecting your confidence & self esteem as well...am sure you also want to get away from all this & start living life on your own...please gather all your courage & always remember that we shouldnt stay in something we are not sure of...concentrate on whats important in your life, your studies & all...& pray  & believe that god has made someone who'll love you the way you deserve & the way you'll love him...\nGod bless you...
103875
The answer is in the question, just tell him that he can be a father withou you living with him. You're able to be on your own at this time and his guilt shouldn't be your burden to carry. He hasn't always been there and should respect that you still want to maintain a Father - Daughter relationship with him on your terms. You deserve the right to live your life as you choose.
173272
It seems to me that he is far from ready for the responsibility of partner hood and parenthood. His respect level for you seems very low in light of his degradation of you and not support. He may be insecure and refocusing this toward you, however his immaturity is stopping him from seeing that he is making you feel insecure also and more to the point, he is destroying your self esteem and worth and ruining what should be the most amazing experience of your life. I know this isn't what you will be wanting to hear, but I honestly cant see this getting any better in the near future. Perhaps you could talk to his parents and solicit, for want of a better word, their advice and support.Not to mention that of your on. No-one can tell you whether to stay or leave, in the end you will do what you will do and I realise you love him. But you must always remember to love yourself and make that precious baby you are carrying your first priority. I feel sad for you. No-one should be having that kind of stress at this or any really, stage of your pregnancy. But if he is like this now maybe you need to ask how much worse it's going to be or get when baby gets here and whether you want to wait to find out. I hope you find a solution that enables you to be happy and content.Good Luck.
66777
He desn't still love you if he did he would tell you where he moved to. Just try to move on. If he does love you and just hasn't realized it, it will be so much better if when he comes back looking for you, you have moved on he will realize how special you are. If not then you have moved on and you don't need him anymore anyway.
216114
honey you have to understand u LEFT...what do you want him to do while you were out of the picture.. not knowing if you'll be back??? stay lifeless?????\n\nsometimes we act on certain needs..she(his co-worker) was there and willing ..so y not take whats in front of you???? its was just an act of being HUMAN with NEEDS!!!!\n\ni suggest you give him another chance like how GOD gave you another chance with LIFE!!!!!
19460
I know for a fact that parenting is not an easy task, maybe he's not ready after all. You said it already "his jobless and irresponsible." In that case i'm not so sure if he could be a good figure to your kid but please don't spare the love ur child needed ok. But honestly, I can't comment on the part that you being in love w/ him, there's no explanation it's all up to you. And everyone is stupid about love so ur not just the only one. LOL!  \n\nKeep smiling ... enjoy! \nI hope you get to know your soulmate!
439843
First off   Congratulations on the arrival of your gorgeous baby girl. Same day as my daughter but 28 years later. Now to your question, l don't believe that it would all be just over a few minor bills. I feel there is definately more to it. Have you tried really talking to him without getting angry and telling him exactly how you feel ? I would try that if you haven't already. Perhaps he is feeling a little left out with the new bubs and all. The fact that he is not affectionate at all is a real worry though. I really hope for your sake that he is not cheating on you, it seems to me that he could well be. Hope you can work this out but if not atleast you have your beautiful daughter to keep you occupied. Good luck with everything.
225642
Hold on you live with him still? First off I've never heard of that arangement before in my life. Also what do you mean by living with are you two still together but still sexually active? If so he's using you no wonder you feel lost. You need to get yourself outta there and if your parents won't take you in find a place foryourself. In times of need there are several places like main stay suites that offer cheep extending living. Once you've done that try and find a really decent guy i'm not talking about going bar hopping, i'm talking about a place like church (by the way if you don't have religion at this poin that's another reason you feel lost, there are many christains like myself that are here to help you if you need some with comming to Christ ;) ) I know you most likely love this guy but the sooner you come to relize its time to move on you'll feel bad at first but it will get better. Don't think its not because you won't love the ex because yes you will love doesn't go away, but you have to save whats left of your heart and mend it together for that guy who's still out there you haven't met yet.
237967
Well I'm here right with you... The man I feel in my heart is my soulmate has the same problems as your ex... in fact because of the last incident that occured two months ago, were I came home from my father's after visiting for a few hours and he became very physically abusive, I left him... but i guess my heart stayed with him.. I still keep in contact with him, we talk twice a week, I love him more than anyone could ever imagine... he knows that I would take him back but he would need to get help... we tried once a year ago while we were together, but he didn't want the help for himself (he wasn't ready), he was doing it for me... the important thing is not to push them to do anything they don't want because then they may become resentful... I love him so much, it breaks my heart when I see him, because looking at him I know that he's not taking care of himself (he's diabetic, 31, and insulin dependent)... I always remind him that I really fo care and love him, and that when he's ready to get help, I'll be right there with him... just make sure that he wants the help.. if anthing email me... we can chat
431780
I think you should do what is best for u and ur child. if he is a good father, and treats you well, and you LOVE him, you should be hopeful. If he isn't any of those, tell him ur  glad he's in ur life, but you'll never be together again.
309147
Did you ever tell him how deeply you were hurt by it? If not, maybe that's the reason why. You probably kept a lot of pain inside and never confronted or forgave him. Also, I go through this, when you look at your child, you are always reminded of the times, the good and the bad,  you had to go through with their father as they are growing because your child is product of you and her father. I would tell him how you feel, forgive, and let go. God blessed you with a great marriage.
107905
you sound almost like a mirror image of me but i'm at the 3 month stage and i don't know if he's with somone else, the other difference is he said to me that he wants to work things out i haven't seen mine in 20 days and yes im counting. the best advice hang in there, me personally i would tell him how much of a many swearwords he is for hurting me and how could he get with somone else so soon. but as i said hang in there im now ruling my own life but it is hard moving ahead without the one you love. Be Good!
218746
My heart really goes out to you, I can't imagine what you are going through with your daughter. It sounds like you have made a great start with the day to day stuff and i think this is the best thing to do -concentrate on each day and don't look too far ahead. Rely on your family and friends and don't stop talking about it, play with your baby and wait. The waiting is the hardest part, but if you take it slowly and don't set a time limit - don't say for example that by next week you will have stopped crying, or that by next month you will be over him and don't judge your own 'get over him' time by someone elses, everybody does things in their own way. But i promise you that if you keep doing what you're doing it will go away, it really will, you just have to wait. Wishing you all future happiness xxxx
92272
Some new mothers find it hard to part with their new born infant in the beginning, eventually the newness will wear off and if you continue to be supportive the mother will see this and most likely lighten up some.  also you owe it to your daughter to try to be a part of her life even if you don't stay with the mother.\n\nI commend you on wanting to be there for your daughter... keep it up Daddy!
95944
When my son was born he became severely ill. He was taken to children's for surgery. I had just miscarried before I got pregnant with him and he was kind of my last hope. We felt awful when he didn't recover right away like they said he would. He lost a lot of weight before he started to come around, and we were there, in the hospital, for about a week and a half. Our biggest inspiration was the other parents we saw and talked too. Some had been there months waiting on transplants that probably wouldn't come. Some knew they would never take their children home, and some helped their children plan their own funerals. What was a week and a half to all that. The point is there is always someone worse off then you. You have your life and you should enjoy it. You never know when your time is up, so you better live now.