Why is it that after being with my husband for almost four yrs there is no more romance. It's "Hey you want to have sex?" That question toldly turns me off, yet it's about the only way I get to have any. There is none of the anticipation anymore what happen to it? Any married couples who know how to solve this problem? I NEED MY HUSBAND TO ROMANCE ME LIKE HE USED TOO INSTEAD OF THIS WELL WE'RE MARRIED SO JUST GET NAKED FEELING...HELP
126439
Decreased sex is completely normal in a marriage. It's your responsibility to spice things up in order to keep the passion alive. Try in on the floor, in a public place, use toys, do something taboo, anything new. Continue to give each other compliments especially about each others bodies and what you like about it. Be naughty! It's not just the mans job to keep it going, take the initiative and he will appreciate it I promise!
293904
If you have tried everything already?\nDifficult question to answer then....\n\nDo you talk enough to each other? Talk about, what do you expect from sex? Fantasies? Roleplay?\n\nI think that an important thing is also freshness rather than spice. Take a holiday together, without the children. Book a weekend in a hotel in another city. Start dating each other again: fix a rendez-vous in some public place and let your husband seduce you all over again. Take dancing lessons together. Learn to massage.
132467
Hey, that's a good question. I'm pregnant too and I'm the same way. I don't like having sex very much anymore either, I'm never in the mood. As a matter of fact, I don't even really like cuddling! Our horomones are very messed up right now, it's not us, I've already asked about this. Don't fret, and try to explain that to him.
15183
Dating is a "mating dance" and we show each other our "best". Once marriage is achieved, it's too easy to fall into "routine". You need time for yourselves to keep the romance alive. Have someone babysit and go out for dinner & a movie once a month or so. Go dancing, if that's what you used to do. Couples will stop doing some of the fun things they did before they got married. They need to keep doing the fun things together.
313703
I'm so happy for you two!  Great job on waiting.  \n\nI know you two have waited for the sex but I'm not sure if you guys have done the all the things that lead up to that point.  There is a lot of fun to be had with foreplay.  Also, keep in mind that he will have an O within minutes of you guys starting your festivities.  Hopefully, he can go the distance and be able to get it back a few more times.  If not, there is no rush!  Having good sex takes patience and willingness to learn and experiment.  Don't forget to talk to each other about what you like and it wouldn't hurt to read some sex tips books together.  (Not a suggestion on how to pass the night but just in general.)\n\nI don't know if you guys are in a hotel or what but I would make sure that some chilly water and a snack with substance is on hand for later.  Also, a friend told me that she wished she had a pretty robe to wear when she came out of the restroom in her lingerie.  Since it was the first time for him to see her in that kind of dress she felt a little awkward crossing the room in such attire.  \n\nIt sounds to me like you already have it covered.  You guys waited so it will be unusually special, the strawberries are tasty and cider is very good (both flavors).  Just the fact that you are planning and being thoughtful covers your side of being romantic.  Make sure that he doesn't rush because the more anxious and rushed you are the less pleasurable it will be for you.  Have fun!
257326
I have been divorced for a bit over a year myself.  I wasn't interested in dating anyone until about a month ago.\nI honestly don't have the time, strenght and courage to be just flirting around anymore.\n\nI don't think there's anything wrong with you, everyone has different ways to overcome things. Sex for sex becomes less atractive once you've been married, or so I have observed.  Company is more important and the idea of being understood and heard is more exciting than just a "date".\n\nI allowed myself to open up (I don't think I was ready though) but it felt good to be romanced and flirty again. It brought me back to the world of the "living" for a little bit.  \n\nAt the end, it's a personal choice.  Do whatever feels good to you.  Eventually Mr. Right will show up (or not...).
255431
You still love your X.  You love your husband, and if you're still young, you WILL feel strong attraction to possibly one or more others in your future.  \nThis happens to ALL of us, as a mechanism for survival of the species.  It is BUILT IN to us to love more than once.\n\nLove never dies.  But something went wrong between you and your X, and the relationship ended.  That one thing will never change between you, and will always be remembered.\n\nYou invested in this marriage because it seemed good.  You worked to make it good.  Are you working to KEEP it good?\nI am willing to bet either you or your husband have become lazy in going through the effort to be "attractive", and that just kills romance.\nThen we think we are not loved anymore.  In a marriage, that is very much BS.  Of course you are still loved.  Love does not die.  But it can be overshadowed by the demon PRIDE.\nGet rid of pride.  Do things to make yourself enticing and attracting.  And you can make the LOVE even better than ever before between you and your husband.\n\nI've been in a relationship that nearly died, and salvaged it with just a little effort on my part.  Wanted to leave, and figured, what the heck, I've got nothing to lose, let me play the game all the way out...so I did the bit of work needed to bring back the sparks. \n\nIt seems stupid at first, and remember PRIDE is a demonic factor.  But if you treat it like a game, you can have some fun with it, and get a very surprising outcome.\nIs he looking at another woman?  That is NOT an issue betweent he TWO OF YOU.   Sweetie, you have the advantage.  He's yours most all the time, right?\nHave a blast, entice and attract him, and you'll start to see him acting goofy again.  He won't even know what's happening, just that he feels good around you again.  It's just like dating.  They come back because you make them feel good more than any other girl.  Use those same keys to his heart again...who knows him better than you?\nDo the make-up, perfume, (try a mixture of the spice cinnamon+baby powder), and FLIRT with your husband!!!  Bend over.  Touch his shoulder.  Touch him lightly in the middle of the night, you'll even here his breathing change.\nWatch how he begins to spark at you once again.\nManipulate time alone with him.  Don't make an announcement on any of this...just work it girl.\n\nYou ARE married, and you do love your husband, and you always will.  Let the ex go, and quit turning outside for solutions to your marriage. Give him all the attention and effort you're presently giving the X.   \nTurn your efforts INTO the marriage and get busy being all girly again.  Oh yeah, and another really important thing.\nBecome your husbands best friend.  Let him know you really are his best friend, and that you like spending time with him.  Compliment him a little (not too much).\n\nALL marriages go through dry spells, especially when no one is trying to keep it interesting.  Don't make the mistake of saying, well HE'S not making the effort!  That is a load of BS and you know it.  Not many men even know how to make the effort unless they have an erection.  If you want him to jump through hoops, then you'll have to make sure he gets and erection first!  ha ha ha ha\n\nBe the Girl all we women can be if we want to.\nI wish you love
598445
I went with my husband several times to strip clubs in an effort to try and fix some of our intimacy problems.  I even bought him a lap dance one time.  However, afterwards, it doesn't make me feel good or cool or sexy, even thought it might make him feel that way about  me.  How you feel about you is more important.  After a strip club, part of me really hates him for not wanting to just explore with me.  I keep trying to tell myself that I should just go with the flow.  That men look at women like women look at shoes...but it never seems to make me feel any better.  Before you go, remember that you can never erase that memory once it's there.  On the other hand, at least you know who your husband really is and what he really wants.  Yes, you'll be the coolest wife in the world (like me), but then soon his affection towards you over it becomes empty.  My girlfriend is so jealous that my husband is so affectionate with me...but his affection doesn't make me feel cared about by him anymore.
282556
Ah, I am sorry to hear how much this is upsetting you, and I feel sorry for him as well. I wish I had a crystal ball to look into and find out what's really going on here. Something's fishy. \n\nAt the start of many sexual relationships, the lovemaking is hot! It's natural for sex to wane over time and you two were very busy. I sense that there's an undercurrent you need to ferret out, as it seems that he is flat-out avoiding sex with you. \n\nAsk yourself some basic questions: when did things change? Was there an incident that you can remember? Has there been a gradual decline? Has putting on weight, having children, a change in income/earnings or something like that happened? \n\nAs for the importance of this to your relationship, although national studies have shown disparate results, sex is not usually the number one issue in saving a marriage. However, if it's a top need for you and it compounds your feelings of inadequacy, erodes your self-esteem, makes you feel unloved or affects your ability to feel good about yourself in general, then it's time to have a serious heart-to-heart with him. Be gentle when you talk about it and try to understand what's bothering him. After that, you may need to seek professional help either together or alone — or give him up in the end.
521747
Hey I like you! ^_^ ..lol..seriously though, good for you it's really nice to know that there are men like you out there. \n\nMy husband WAS selfish-I am at the point where I am just like "Come on work with me here" it takes it's toll on a person when your lover thinks of himself before he does you all the time. And you keep telling yourself he'll come around, you only have Faith to keep you from drowning really...It hurts to be treated second all the time. \n\nNow he's changing and I can finally breathe a lil more....I think I will have to get use to being TRULY happy in this relationship of ours and believing that things are different between us... it takes two right? =) \n\nHey thanks for giving me a chance to share my thoughts slash vent....keep shinning and never give up! Best wishes to you and yours!
227558
I used to practically beg my ex-husband for it... then, after I asked for a divorce, he told me that he was watching movies every night after I went to bed.  (I had no clue & felt so dumb!)  He said that it was because when he was with me it didn't last long (it didn't, maybe 15-20 seconds).  When he, um, took matters into his own hands, he could prolong matters and it felt better.  Then he asked for my help.  It opened the door of communication, I helped with "exercises", but we still divorced.  I was emotionally over him and just drained.  I felt like he lied to me for too many years and he was being selfish.  Don't wait.  Get help now, before it's too late....  What a waste!  We both enjoyed sex - it could have been so much better.
207105
I see nothing in your words that refer to "love".  All I see is that you aren't "gettin" as much as you used to.  If that's all love means to you then I suggest you go your seperate ways.  If, however, the reduction of sex is just one part of your problems, then seek some professional help.
186952
THE ENTIRE IDEA OF MARRIAGE REVOLVES AROUND AN IDEA THAT DOESNT WORK. WHEN YOU'RE DATING, YOU NATURALLY WANT FOR SEX BECAUSE YOU ARENT WITH YOUR PARTNER ALL DAY,...AFTER A BIT OF MARRIAGE, THINGS BECOME "GRANTED FOR"...THAT IS TO SAY,.. EACH OF YOU TAKES THINGS FOR GRANTED FROM EACH OTHER. YOU HAVE THE KIDS,..."WHICH STRESSES YOU OUT",...HE HAS A JOB WHICH STRESSES HIM OUT,....NOT ENOUGH TIME IN THE EVENINGS,....ALL SORTS OF STUFF TO DO WHEN YOU'RE BOTH ALONE AND ALL MANNER OF FAMILY MATTERS ON BOTH SIDES.....SO, IF YOU'RE A WOMAN WISHING FOR SEX, YOU BETTER MAKE SOME TIME, FARM THE KIDS OUT, GET NEKKID AND JUMP HIM WHEN HE COMES THROUGH THE DOOR.....DO THIS OFTEN ENOUGH AND YOUR MARRIAGE WILL BE NICE,.....ADD SOME KINK TO IT FROM TIME TO TIME AND IT'LL NE NICER....DONT BE LAME, DONT BE MONOTINOUS,...PUT SOME FLAIR IN YOUR SEX LIFE WHEN YOU GET THE CHANCE AND MAKE THE CHANCES OFTEN.
38294
We know that Sex alone can´t make a married couple stay together. So in that way, a married couple with out sex has low chances of surviving. That does not mean it is doom. \nThe real question would be, Why are they not having sex anymore? Age? sickness? as long as there is love I think a marriage can survive. on the other hand if the reasons are: lack of love, lack of interest, it is not the lack of sex that will finish the marriage but the reasons that led to it.\n\nhope is useful to you.
283592
Honey, I am 28 yrs. and have been with my fiance for a total of 10 years now. In the beginning, we did have more sex than we do now. How long have you two been together? I totally disagree that it means you are not in love with him. I have more love for my man every year that passes by, even though now we aren't intimate like before. Sure, we love to be with eachother, it's just not the most important thing on our list to do. We have grown to be totally comfortable with that and it doesn't mean there is something wrong...that's my opinion anyways. You should try new and exciting things, even if it is just a laugh with eachother.
73134
When you know a person without sex first, and you really want to be with each other all the time, the sex will come naturally and be mindblowing.  Courting use to be the way it was done years ago.  I believe that's why older couples have remained married for so long, because they got to know each other first and decided to committ the rest of their lives to each other before they had sex.
324287
Dont beat yourself up. You told him not to continue with the sexual comments. You didnt meet him. \nWere you looking for friendship or were you looking for an extramarital relationship when you started speaking to him?\n\nThe problem lies more in your relationship with your husband, rather than how some guy you never met made you feel. \n\nWe all have a need to be loved, feel wanted, and ofcourse physical needs. Wanting to feel wanted is human nature, not a weakness of character. Lack of that feeling can make us feel depressed. \n\nI suggest you work on your relationship with your husband. Even if it doesnt work out in the long run, you'll be free to date and wont feel like you do right now.