Nude Midget Wrestling Love Triangles\n\nI'm Having An Affair With Your Mom, Mom!\n\nFUPA's Anonymous: The Tennessee Connection\n(if you don't know what it is, refer to urbandictionary.com)\n\nJungle Fever Klansman Steps Out From Under the Sheet\n\nand more... \n\nCan you think of any?\n\nJerry Springer really needs your help!!!
133273
why do men with BO turn me on?\nMy Daddy ate the remote and he keeps changing his mind.\nwhy won't my cousin billybob sleep with me his sister?(the rest of the family has)
56951
"Rectangles:  360 Degrees of Seperation" if it's a quasi-documentary thriller sort of project or maybe "A Million Little Wrecked Angles" (what, it's a good pun!) if it's a risque biop-fic for an Oprah fan.  Or for a hippie-groove, you could try "Rect-Angles:  They're All Right," but I think that's going beyond the bounds of acceptably tasteful wit.
124559
1\n\nFresh from her shower, a woman stands in front of the mirror complaining to her husband that her breasts are too small.\n\nInstead of characteristically telling her it's not so, the husband uncharacteristically comes up with a suggestion. "If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet paper and rub it between your breasts for a few seconds."\n\nWilling to try anything, the wife fetches a piece of toilet paper and stands in front of the mirror, rubbing it between her breasts.\n\n"How long will this take?" she asks.\n\n"They'll grow larger over a period of years," he replies.\n\nThe wife stops. "Why do you think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between my breasts everyday will make my breasts grow over the years?"\n\n"Worked for your butt, didn't it?"\n\nHe lived. And with a great deal of therapy, may even walk again..\n\n\n2\n\nMan driving down road.\nWoman driving up same road\nThey pass each other\nWoman yells out her window, "PIG!"\nMan yells out his window, "B.I.T.C.H!"\nMan rounds next curve\nCrashes into a huge pig in middle of road.\n\nThought For The Day : If only men would listen. \n\n\n3\n\nThe mother-in-law stopped unexpectedly by the recently married couple's \nhouse. She rang the doorbell and stepped into the house. She saw her \ndaughter-in-law standing naked by the door.\n\n"What are you doing?" she asked.\n\n"I'm waiting for my husband to come home from work," the \ndaughter-in-law \nanswered.\n\n"But you're naked!" the mother-in-law exclaimed.\n\n"This is my love dress," the daughter-in-law explained.\n\n"Love dress? But you're naked!"\n\n"My husband loves me to wear this dress! It makes him happy and it \nmakes me \nhappy. I would appreciate it if you would leave because he will be home \nfrom \nwork any minute."\n\nThe mother-in-law was tired of all this romantic talk and left. On the \nway \nhome she thought about the love dress. When she got home she undressed, \nshowered, put on her best perfume and waited by the front door. Finally \nher \nhusband came home. He walked in and saw her standing naked by the door.\n\n"What are you doing?" he asked.\n\n"This is my love dress" she replied.\n\n"Needs ironing." he said.
545975
The bride walked down the aisle of the church toward her awaiting groom.\nPlease cancel my last order.\nThe student asked the math teacher for tutoring, as she could not figure it out.\nMany fossils are thousands of years old.\nThe large, barking dog really freaked me out.\nElton John is a gay man.\nI got this straight from the source.\nThe seeds were interspersed with the fertilizer.\nHer drink order was Patron silver tequila straight up and neat.\nWhen I win the lottery and become independently wealthy, I will quit my job.\nThey traveled to a secluded little cabin for their honeymoon.\nThe tire tracks of the truck were a very big clue in the murder case.\nPlease do not type all in caps, as it is presumed that you intend to yell.
217800
My brother told me this one :)\n\nLittle Johnny was minding his own business one day when he heard the bed creaking in his parents room. Curious, he opened the door to see his mom bouncing up and down on his daddys tummy. When she was done he got up the courage to ask her what was going on.\n\n"Mommy?" Johnny asked. "Why were you bouncing on Daddy's tummy?"\n\n"Well Johnny," his mommy said, "You know that big bulge daddy has around his middle?"\n\n"Yes." replied Johnny\n\n"Well sometimes Mommy has to bounce on that bulge to make it flat again." \n\nConfused, Johnny looks up at his mommy and says\n\n"I don't know why you bother because tomorrow the neighbor lady will just come over and blow it back up again."
552582
My mother and your mother were hanging up clothes\nMy mother socked your mother right inthe nose\nwhat color was the blood?\n\nThen spell it out\n\nAlso....\n\nA my name is Angie\nMy husband's name is Allen\nWe live in Alabama\nWhere I am an artist\nand he is an architect\nAnd our kids are Amber and Ally\nAnd we say Always for you!\n\nand so on with the alphabet\n\nAlso Grandmother's trunk...or I'm going to >>>>>>>>\n\nLike you say "I'm going to Florida and I'm taking an apple"\nPerson B: "I'm going to Florida and I'm taking an apple and a beatle"\n\nand so on....you have to remember what the other person said\n\nand "Wouldn't it be funny if" and you talk about various ridiculus scenarios (your teacher comeing to school without teeth)\n\nand thumb wrestling\n\nOh and the name game\n\nI say the name Catherine\nYou say Elizabeth because it starts with E, the last letter of Catherine\n\nThen after Elizabeth you say Helen\nThen Nathaniel\nThen Lucas\nThen Seth\nand so on.
474795
wow\n\na bestiality rape gag\n\nfantastic
457989
Well, this is what I seen in someone's signature on their message board on their website:\no1 . Sticky & Slow\no2 . Wet Dreamz\no3 . Phone Sex\no4 . Hot & Bothered\no5 . Between Dem Legz\no6 . In The Shower ( Slippery Like Soap )\no7 . Late Night Special\no8 . Under These Sheets ( Stay Between U & Me )\no9 . In The Nude\n10 . Strawberries & Peaches ( Ice Cream Luva )\n11 . Providing Pleasure\n12 . Strip Tease\n13 . Cyber Luv\n14 . Let`s Make A Porno\n15 . Feel The Rush\n16 . Lookin` 4 A BabyMama\n17 . To Our Daddy\n\nplus " On The Hotline "\n\nI don't know if this is correct. Hope this helps out a little!!
526038
sour pickrels\nbutt monkeys\ncryptic altar\ncyber dweebs\ngoofy's cousin\nroach clip\ndingle doodies\nwinkleshteefersh\ncrackwhankers\nchocky's choco numb numb bits!\nthe beloved teddy bears\nempty pipes\nlazy days\nblank expression\nA Hemi?\nweasle nuts\n...............need more i can come up with'em all day!
255757
Wrathpuppet, Weemaryanne, Schneb, Donald Shaw (will he return?), Bettierage (got spunk), Icarus, Sanstheism, Pagan_earthgirl (very insightful), Synthia, Mark V, Will, Captain Atheism, Music Girl. \n\nThere are many others I enjoy reading too, and thank you all for making me think and laugh now and then!  :-D
151664
An oldie_\n\n3 sisters got married on the same day and all spent the night at their mother's home one last evening.\nThat evening after all had gone to bed the mother decided to listen at each door to see/hear what was going on.\nThe next morning the following conversation took place:\n\nMother to the first daughter:\n"darling I went by your room and all I heard was screaming, what happened to make you scream?"\n1st daughter to  mother:\n"well it was my first time mom and it hurt, that is why I was screaming"\n\nMother to the second daughter:\n"and you, all I heard was laughter coming from your room, what happended to make you laugh?"\n2nd daughter replies:\n"well mom, it tickled so I was laughing"\n\nMother to the third daughter:\n"YOU, I heard not a peep come out of your room, what happened for you to be so quiet?"\n2nd daugheter replies:\n"mom, you taught us not to speak with our mouths full!"\n\nLong but I hope you enjoyed.
155688
laugh my a** off\n\nheres a whole list though i haven't heard of many of them:\nhttp://funny2.com/acronyms.htm\n\nAlso another site with a simpler list:\nhttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Internet_slang
450330
Here's one. I'll see if I can find more:\n\nhttp://pc59te.dte.uma.es/cdb/series/dc/lesliethompkins.htm\n\nHere's some more:\n\nhttp://www.geocities.com/womenofgotham/Leslie.htm\n\nMore here:\nhttp://www.adherents.com/lit/comics/Leslie_Thompkins.html\n\nNice close up with bun:\n\nhttp://www.angelfire.com/mi2/dcuniverse/lesliethompkins.html
486601
'Honey hop to it!  You know if you are late all the good lily pads are taken!  Besides, at this time of day the intersection is so busy by the big pond!  Here's your morning fly - now get going and no stopping with the toads for a croaking session on the way home!"\n\nFred Frog zapped his morning fly and hopped out of the home reeds to join the others heading for the big pond.  Fred hated going to the big pond during the day.  If he had a chance he'd be rapping with the boyz down at the Mud Pit at night so he would be sleeping right now, but he'd made the mistake of falling for Kimberly with her beautiful slimy green legs and now he had to support all those tadpoles!  While he thought of the life he could have had, he hopped closer to the intersection.  He could see Jack Rabbit rapidly drumming his hind leg in the tall grass at the road's edge as he waited for the light to change.\n\n"Morning Jack."\n\n"Good morning Fred.  How's Kim and the tadpoles?"\n\n"Ah you know, everything is good, but I..." \n\nJust then the light changed and Jack, ever in a hurry, made a huge arcing jump just a UPS truck ran the red light.  Fred Frog watched in horror as Jack Rabbit was crushed by the grill of the UPS truck which kept going and going...\n\nSuddenly from the other side of the road Winona Wolf leaped out and grabbed the lifeless corpse of Jack Rabbit in her muscular jaws.  Stepping daintily over to Fred Frog she sat Jack Rabbit down and said, "I never believed those commercials where they ask what can brown do for you today, but hey, I'm a believer now!"  So saying she picked up Jack again and ran off.\n\nFred Frog mused that he would have said the lesson is look before you leap as he started out into the intersection.\n\nJust then the light changed.
662011
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL!!!\n\nIt's such an A M A Z I N G Joke :)\n\nGreat one Gurl!\n\nWe Want More, We Want More!
181388
Bre: Her parents came when they heard about her and her son. They tried to get them to make peace with each other but it didn't work. Her parents had decided to take him with them until they found out he was gay and they also took his trust fund away so now he's stuck with Bre.\n\nGabrielle: Being so superficial she was trying to get a nanny for the baby. Carlos wouldn't have it. So she would secretly have that new maid take care of the baby. Then she accidently left the baby in the house alone forgetting that she had gave the maid the day off. once she realized it she raced home and felt so bad she couldn't put the baby down.\n\nSusan: Her daughter was pissed at her once she found out that Carl was trying to reconcile and bailed on the plans to go to the movies. Susan went alone but when she saw Mike walk in with a date she convinced a stranger to pretend to be her date. The stranger later on advices her against getting back with Carl because he felt he was being a coward. Susan dumps Carl but then Carl lied to Susan saying that he had left Edie but he hadn't and Susan slept with him. Of course when she found out the truth she was pissed.\n\nLynette: One of the twins was obssessed with vaginas and was asking random females to show him in exchange for a treat (cookie, popsicle). She had gotten advice to shame him into thinking it was wrong and dirty and sinful to think about it. But she couldn't bear herself to do it so she bought him a puppy to take his mind off of it. It worked.\n\nPaul Young/ Zach: Mrs. Huber is now doing all types of dirty things to Paul to piss him off. She replaced his lighter fluid with gasoline, put some slippery substance on his front porch, and arranged to have his house tented/fumigated for termites while he and Zach were still inside.
485308
Here's one for you:\nThere's a trucker driving along the highway in Nevada, and he starts to get really horny. He then sees a sign for a Brothel (whore house) 10 miles away. He begins to get very excited when he spots a note at the bottom of the sign which says: "Beware of Sandpaper Sally." He thinks this is a bit wierd but keeps driving and gets hornier and hornier. He finally gets to the Brothel, throws money down on the table, and says: "I want a whore." to which a woman repeats: "Okay, but the only girl we have left is Sally." He decides to take the offer and runs up to the room he's told Sally is in. He opens the door and sees the prettiest blond he's ever seen in his life, throws her down on the bed and procedes to have his way with her when he notices that she is a bit rough and dry down there. He asks what's wrong with her and she gets up and goes to the bathroom. She comes back and they start again. He says that it feels great and asks what she did. To which she replies:"I picked the scabs." \n\nHere's another:\nTwo men are sitting at a bar, one turns to the other and says:"I f*cked your mom."\nThe bar goes silent as everyone looks at the two men to see what is going to happen.\nOnce again, the first man repeats:"I f*cked your mom."\nTo which the other man replies:"Shut up dad, you're drunk."