People like to gossip and be negative.\n\nThere are times when I have  had to stand my ground and speak up for my self but I have done this with firmness and love. Being firm and being discourteous are not the same thing.\n\nGod gave us many words in the english language yet we tend to use the neative ones.\n\nHow can I be more postive in a very negative world?
123890
your right in standing up for yourself. But i think the best way to get them off your back is ask them politely to stop or take them aside and talk to them one on one.
176345
i have had some very fascinating conversations with barnicals in my life. but as awhole, barnicals usually resort to small talk, mostly about the weather. prickly barnicals are usually rude, as their name implies. and i believe you were born yesterday, i was there when it happened. (i was the guy with the camcorder and silly hat). i assure you that i am NOT stupid, so there's no reason to make a sideways frowny face at me.
613104
Take stuff on here "with a grain of salt" as we say where I live ... some people will be rude and others will get upset when they are rude ... it is just Q and A from total strangers ... not exactly of earth shaking importance in the overall scheme of things ... don't let it get to you ...
111894
politeness can be a form of pretentiousness... like most politically correct thnigs, you're taking into account the feelings of the other person.  it's okay in my book to be polite.  \n\nin your details though, it looks like you're leaning towards asking about those 'little white lies' we tell to spare someone's feelings.  i know when to mince my words, and i have no problem doing this as needed.  it's a valuable social skill (sometimes a survival technique) to have and to be able to use, as long as it doesn't become a habit.\n\nreconciliation::: if what i truly feel will be hurtful to the other person, i tend to err on the side of caution, especially with people who i don't know very well.  i'll bite my lip and pretend to be polite, all the while knowing that no real harm is being done.
42659
Expectations can be high. When they aren't met, we sometimes are less than tolerant. It is a matter of putting ourselves in the place of others in order to understand all circumstances. Then we can be more tolerant and less likely to lose our tempers. Awareness and understanding are key. Understand that we aren't all perfect..........we are fallable.
268712
I think it's a social thing. Ok ok ok...I know I'm going to get over analytical here, but here goes. Someone will really want to reach out to someone they would like to be friends with. But they don't know what to say. So they figure, find some common ground. Misery loves company they say....right? So if I dog our boss to a co worker...won't he have a comeback and complain right along with me? Or if I go up to someone I barely know and complain about the weather, won't they surely agree with me and help out the conversation with a complaint of their own? \n\nSad part is....it would seriously work the opposite way too. Somehow people just feel safer being on the "complaining" side than being one of the "shiny happy people" that so many want to slap. ;) And why is that? We are often jealous of someone else's happiness because we are still working to achieve our own. \n\nAren't we ever satisfied? yeahhh.....of course we are. But society will always have something to complain about just for the sake of having a common bond. :)
339994
Mathew, Just relax, that could be part of your problem, you give too much importance to what other people think. I recommend get a dictionary and look up the word. HUMBLE.
229262
no way. lol, i'll be honest. i consider myself a pretty mellow guy, and i'm usually the type to try and make a deflectionary comment rather than an insult. but if it gets bad enough, i'm gonna start saying stuff, and it comes out fast and is usually accompanied by me setting my shoulders and clenching my fists. lol, i hate to get that way, but i'm not perfect.
375363
Most people who act like that are using it defensively because they're jealous.  So don't feel bad.  They're ugly people, inside and most likely out.  Only go if you want to go to events/occassions.  Otherwise, don't waste your time and don't give them the pleasure of being able to make you feel like crap.  If they say something nasty to you just smile and nod and say "Thanks for letting me know...I had NO idea..."  and then walk away.  They want a reaction out of you and if you respond politely and sweetly they'll either stop or get really pissed off.  My mother always taught me "Kill 'em with kindness"...and it works almost every time!
388090
You are making yourself sick.  Stop letting other people get to you.  I had to develop an "I don't give a f***" attitude and I felt the weight of the world lifted off my shoulders.  Stop explaining yourself to people too.
531757
Or, maybe they kind of knew that you didn't really mean things in a bad way, or the way it sounded.  I have had conversations with people like what you describe (me, being the one who you think should be pissed off), and I just considered it something that they didn't mean, or not how it sounded.  If, later on, it really was meant in the bad way, I would find out about in some way or another.
577902
I remember always thinking people thought i was sensitive and I thought i was moody because of it.  What i have learned and i don't know if this goes for you but it's a shot, is that it wasn't that i was sensitive it was that i wasn't effective with telling people how i really felt.  I wasn't assertive enough. My feelings would get hurt easily and then i would get moody. I use to think having sensitivity was a weakness but i realized it is more of a blessing in a world where there are people who can be very insensitive.  Communicating effectively with the people around you will give you the confidence to not misunderstand what they are saying to you. For example, say someone says something to you that you interpret as hurtful, it is o.k. to calmly ask this person, what did you mean by that?  If they say Oh, I'm only kidding, calmly say, with confidence, i didn't fine that funny. Every situation, of course, will be different. If you practice being more assertive you will find that it is o.k. to keep your sensitivity and the moods will fade away.  Being sensitive is not a bad thing sadness and stress is.
31723
What? YOu actually know someone who will yap about himself/herself?? I never do that. I am such a nice person to talk to, but I never monolpolise a discussion; i let the other to say Yes or No. I have knowledge about everything, I have something to add about anything one may say. How can someon go on blowing his/her own trumpet? I am such a well read person, i never do that. I am so intelligent that I understand what people will say and I complete their sentences.\n\nSo, what were you saying about people who monopolize a conversation? Oh I know' I know..there are these bad people.. How do people stand them.\n\nLOL , I am on 'their' side..LOL
68241
It's more like a freeworld here, girl. Some people talk sense, but lots of wierd ones also bump in with senseless remarks. All you need do is sort through the whole junk and more often than not, some good ones will be available.
492997
I always remind myself that I cannot change people, but I can change the way I react to them.\n\nLove and compassion and a good ear for listening.  People who are negative should be taken in small doses as they can really bring you down.\n\nLook for the good in people and you will surely find it.  Stay clear of any gossip.  Even listening to it is harmful.  Be willing to walk away and not participate.  Or inject something nice about the person people are gossiping about this will end the conversation.\n\npeace
667608
i agree with you. ridicule is embarassing to say the least and very immature.  i prefer that all people extend themselves openly and honestly without causing harm. (verbal or physical)  it's a  very sad world when others feel the need to express anger or hostility. just because someone is different either physically or mentally doesn't change who they are as living, feeling, breathing human-beings. take care out there.
87179
I don't like that statement! I feel there are plenty of "good" people, and good people to chat with. You just seem to run into the cocky ones. But it's true, everyone does act alittle more cocky and annoying on the internet, than in real person, just because their identity is hidden!