i am not happy but cant move out and leave my dad alone what should i do?
120751
your dad might drive you crazy but if you say you cant move out theres obviously a reason why...like giving my mom as an example shes living with my grandmother right now because she needs someone there to take care of her or she will be put in a home so my mom took it apon herself to care for her...and my mom is going bonkers let me tell you lmao but she knows that my grandmother wont be here for to much longer so shes doing what she has to do...you only have 1 set of real parents so try to stick with it...talk to your dad,tell him whats bothering you...good luck
395769
Honey\n\nYou and your hubby need to move out!\n\nEven if you have to live in a small dump, its better than putting up with the stress!!\n\nMove out soon!
435988
Ask your dad to get a lawyer and tell him you're being abused, take to a school councilor. Since you're old enough to make your own choice the judge may let you!
80013
I'm very sorry to hear about your situation.  You have my complete sympathy.  No one your age deserves to go through what you are enduring.\nYou and your mother should get out NOW, and get help from your family and friends, or groups like Al-Anon or Ala-Teen, before this tears your life apart.  Make up your mind HERE AND NOW to be better than your father; don't let his problems control your life.  You are obviously a smart, squared-away young person capable of making your own path in life.  You and your mother will have to rely on each other for emotional support for a while.  But you will discover, the longer you both have been away from your father, that your strength and ability to deal with life will grow every day.  Remember - you have all of us out here on your side too!\nI too have been there, with an alcoholic father - just had to tough it out until I was able to leave.  DON'T DESPAIR, that is the sure path to ruin!  I'm pulling for ya!
465047
Ohh Chica LEAVE him.  Pack your stuff when he isn't home and just go.  Tell him you are done and there is no chance for the 2 of you anymore.  You need to focus on yourself and your child.  Don't let him tell you that you CAN'T do something!  And if you even suspect he is getting violent don't be afraid to call the proper authorities.  Maybe the time apart will give the 2 of you perspective.  Life is too short to PRETEND you are happy.\nIf you are unhappy YOU need to change it.  Nobody can live your life for you, you are an adult and are free to make your own choices.  Do what you feel needs to be done and keep your head up lil mama!
423760
What do we do with Daddy?  Your moral obligation as a human being is to care for him "because he needs somebody to be there for him if something goes wrong"  and no, your future is not in jeopardy, you have choices, look for a better job there, then quit your job.  Maybe you need more education in your field so you can be  so called calling the shots.  \n  OR you could pack your Dad up and move him someplace like Orlando,, Tampa, Charlotte N.C.  Job opportunities are really great there and he could probably offer a financial relief for you. Anyway Good Luck I feel you will do the right thing for you.
291147
im sorry\nthe same thing happened to me w/my x. He would move out anywhere from couple days - month. \nwell eventually i had enough we are not together. \nleaving for while wil not solve any problems at all either.\nwell good  luck to you i hope things work out for you!!!
113722
This may sound a little wishy-washy, but your dads probably not mad at you, so much as he is at himself. he probably See's himself as a failure for not "raising you right" and not protecting you from this situation. I'm not saying your situation is wrong, just that as a father he probably wanted better for you. Seeing you, reminds him of this feeling of his own failure as a father and protector. the best fix i could think of is time. As he See's you change in his own mind from a little girl into a mother, his attitude will also change.
618468
in time this will change because your family will see what is going on - in the meantime, stay as far from him as you can and do not fight , just walk away. do not waste your energy fighting a moron. my dad's favorite saying - no matter what happens you can react with dignity. no need to let the little jerk get under your skin.
396634
I think you have made the right decision. Breaking the cycle is the hardest thing you can do in you life. I was abused mentally,sexually and physically as a child and I didn't get away from it until I got married. I think you are a very brave and special person for standing up to you dad. Because It is wrong for someone especially the man that is suppose to be your protector to hurt you like that. And your mom should put you first. You are probably missing your mother's love, that all girls need. Try to go to counselling,and find a female that can and is willing to give you "motherly love".
534779
You need to get help from Family and Children Services, they can help you with finishing your education, find daycare for your child and help you get on your feet and get away from this abusive situation with your father. They are in the Phone Book.
656993
You know you and I are in the boat, but it's my mother who's in my way. I wish she could feel more secure, so I could have more freedom; especially the chance to go abroad. I think your father is the one who feels insecure, so he wants to be in your way. Maybe you can try to take him out with you when you're not going on a date. Hope my suggestion helps. Good luck and best wishes.
468242
I know how it feels to be in thst kind of sistuation, my best advice to u is to sit down with them and tell them how u feel. your father just want the best for u, but he dont realize the more he tries to protect u, the more u r going to withdraw from him. If u think that u would be better living with ur grandma then go live with her because life it too short to live in misery. Good luck!!
630593
So from you wrote, I get the impression that you agree with him.  What has happened to put you where you are at?  I will say that everything that is happening in your life is due to the choices and decisions that you are making.  I don't know your age so this makes it somewhat difficult but from the signs of it you must be a teen, since most teens feel this way.  Parents don't hate their children, and even though we want the best for our children we do make mistakes at times.  The thing you have to realize is we have walked the walk and talked the talk.  We have stumbled and made our own mistakes and don't want you to make the same ones, soooo we try to protect you from yourself the best that we know how as we stumble through this thing we call parenthood.\nIt is very difficult to let go as a parent and we end up frustrated because we don't want to even though we know we should.  It is very irritating to see and watch our children make decisions that we know are going to bring about pain, try to remember that even though it may seem like the thinks those things it probably because of the inability to let go.  \nYou sound like you aren't happy though and that is the begining.  Try sitting down and talking with you dad, try to mend the broken fence and find out why he feels the way he does. \nMake a decision to start making choices that will give you the dicipline and direction that you are seeking.  Set a plan of action up and try to follow it.  Make a list of things you want to accomplish then start with number one and work through it.\nDiscipline is what you father wants for you I'm sure, and half the battle may be that you just have not accepted that you want the same thing since you can tell it's messing up your life.  No matter what though............you're relationship with your father should be up there on your list of priorities.  He does love you even if he's failing miserable at showing it.  Talk, Talk, Talk..... I thought that this poem fits.\n\n>NAIL IN THE  FENCE\n\nThere once was a little boy who had  a\nbad temper. His  Father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every  \ntime\nhe lost his  temper, he must hammer a nail into the back of the fence.  The\nfirst day the boy  had driven 37 nails into the fence. Over the next  few\nweeks, as he  learned to control his anger, the number of nails  hammered\ndaily gradually  dwindled down. He discovered it was easier to hold  his\ntemper than to  drive those nails into the fence.  Finally the day came  \nwhen\nthe boy didn't  lose his temper at all. He told his father about it and  the\nfather suggested  that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that he\nwas able to hold his  temper. The days passed and the young boy was finally  \nable\nto tell his father  that all the nails were gone. The father took his son  \nby\nthe hand and led  him to the fence. He said,  "You have done well, my  son,\nbut look at the  holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same.  When\nyou say things in  anger, they leave a scar just like this one. You can put\na knife in a man and  draw it out. It won't matter how many times you say  \nI'm\nsorry, the wound  is still there. "  A verbal wound is as bad as a  physical\none.
289142
In a situation like this you personally need to talk to your father and tell him that you don't appreciate him taking advantage of you. Tell him that you forgive him for disowning you as a child and that you love him even though he missed out on the finer points in your life. Give him the money because you cant put a price on love. If you don't then you may regret it for the rest of your life. I cant guarantee that this would make you feel better because i don't know. This is coming from a 16 year old and the way I see is either you could take the advise and run with it or leave it to rot for eternity.
609892
Try to stay with some close friend or relatives.  Even if you don't have anyone that lives around you - contact your family that lives out of state and tell them your situation and that you need to get out.  Most people are pretty understanding when it comes to physical abuse -especially of a family member.  Stay with a family member for a while until you can get on your feet.  \nIt will be hard for you to leave, but if he's abusing you - you need to get out.  You don't want your daughter growing up thinking that what he does is ok, and you certainly don't want him hitting her.  Get in touch with any family you can and get out of there asap.
286247
Katie, you are a victim of too much information. You know things about your parents that you really don't need to know. You are not responsible for their problems or for the decisions they have made for their own lives. Seeing the flaws in your family, coming to terms with the deceptions, is a tough thing to deal with.\n\nI'm not sure how old you are, but I'm guessing you are still a minor, living with your parents. You need to sit down with both your parents and talk about all that you know. You need to suggest that you all go to family counseling so that someone neutral can help you figure out where you go from here.\n\nI repeat, you are not responsible for your parents' problems. Your father was wrong to tell you all the things he told you, but since the cat is out of the bag, your mother needs to know what you know and you need to decide as a family what to do about all this. If your dad is suicidal, he needs to get help. Unfortunately, it sounds like you have parents you can't fully depend on, so you need to learn how to take care of yourself. Look outside your immediate family for a trusted adult (a school counselor, a pastor) who can help you negotiate through this minefield and help you find the help you need.