I have this friend who cuts, and I know she does but I haven't told her yet. I don't know how to go about it. Can someone help me please?
126144
Just talk about honesty,  a lot.  then talk about something in the middle for a little while, then ask her "I saw a scratch/burn or your *insert body part here* the other day, what happened?"  Then she'll be honest (see above topic) with you, and if she's not, just ASK HER IF SHE CUTS.\nI have a friend who cuts, her name is Julia and thats what I did with her and it worked.\nI wish you the best of luck,\nEmily
290564
Cutting is surprisingly common. You are not alone. You need to tell someone you trust (an adult) who can assist you in getting the help you need to figure out what is REALLY bothering. The cutting is just a symptom. Check out the website below to see that this is a problem that other kids have as well. Don't try to solve this problem all by yourself. It's okay to ask for help. Everyone needs help sometimes.
601220
First talk to her about how it upsets you. Then if she can't do anything else, tell her you'll tell her mom but you guys can do it together or tell her she should tell her. or any other person she might trust, but has authority. Be careful to tell her how much you care about her and that if she keeps going in that direction, what if one day the cut is too deep and she's gone for good? Talk, listen, and support her in getting help. She will need it!
112853
My best advice for you is to make sure you dont keep telling her everything shes doing wrong, the first thing you want to do is tell her look you cant do this and everything along those lines, right now she needs to be able to have someone to talk to about why shes doing what shes doing, More then likely there is a root to the problem, shes not as far as she wanted to be at this point in her life, or something, see if she will open up to you about why she feels the need to go out and party like this, more then likely shes tring to "numb" out something, You dont want her to think that your not on her side anymore, and if you tell her everything shes doing wrong she might take it that your tring to rule her life and then she will shut you out, after you see what the root of the problem is you can talk to her about it, tell her that what shes doing is going to make her loose everything she has and your commited to her as a friend to help her out of this hole shes found herself in, and that you care about her health and you dont want to watch her slowly disinagrate her health and you want to help her get past this hard part in her life and get her to trust your recommendations on what you think she needs to do, then once she says she trusts you to guide her out of this problem, (keep in mind you have to get her to see she has a problem, spoon feed it to her so she sees it on her own she has a problem, like wow you used to be able to keep all this going with out a problem, it looks like your struggling, she will know why and see why) THen keep reminding her that you will do what ever she needs, that you will hold her hand in a local AA class, or you will go to a rehab place with her, what ever it takes :)
471562
Hi there,\n\nTry talking to her. If she is cutting she is screaming out for help but just doesn't know how to get it. \n\nIf she doesn't want to talk to you it is very important that you see if you can find some-one she will talk too. If you can't think of anyone call LIFELINE or KIDS HELP LINE to get some help!!!\n\nLife line 13 11 14\nKids Help line 1800 55 1800 \n\nYour a good friend to be concerned.
316195
My son start cutting himself 5 years ago.  The best thing that I did was to educate myself about why he was doing it.  I went into chat rooms for cutters, read blogs by cutters, did anything I could to interact with others who cut.  \n\nShe is not trying to kill herself.  If you can get her to talk about it, great.  Until then, try to find out why people cut from cutters themselves.
547377
aww yeah my best friend brooke... we help each other through some pretty hard times... she is suicidal and i am a cutter and we are the only people who can help each other,brooke really helped me get over my self mutilation, and she is not suicidal anymore. so despite our own problems... we always help eachother.
482057
i wuld be real honest with her but also remember to be kind.it's alot harder to do then say i know.i am in a similar situation & it's never easy when it comes to ur friends.it culd be that ur friend is having a hard time & need sometime right now.she knows ur there & that's good.that's what friendship is.\ntake care,\nang w.
676836
be as honest  with her as you have been with us...\nit may hurt for a moment..but in the end you discover a great friendship blooming out of your truthfulness...\n\nnot telling her, and avoiding her, will only lead to hurt for her and you.\nher, because she will always wonder why?\nand you, because you are carrying a secret, that would cause no harm to share...{guilt}
478769
you need to get together w/ her & tell her how you feel \nabout what she did.  Let her know that it was nOT right for her to do that & you thought better of her.  Remind her that true friends do NOT do this & that she hurt your feelings & made your life a bit of a mess by doing what \nshe did.  She should know that what she did was wrong & that she should NEVER tell anothers secrets unless they were out to hurt or harm someone.  Hope she never does this again & good luck .
202170
Hi,Daisy well all I can tell you is STOP!! I know its hard but you really have to try. Right now I'm trying to help my sister stop too. And she is also 14. Just think about all the people who LOVE you and what will happen if you cut your self to deep. If you need any more advise you can contact me at              youngwon1025@yahoo.com
311647
Okay, as for the cutting, that is sometimes a relief from some type of anxiety or pain in your life.  Cutting allows people to have control rather than the real pain they have which a person cannot control.  As for the self-mutilation, some people are into that.  It is not necessarily a bad thing although it could lead to infections and rarely something more serious.  \n\nI think the best thing is to let her come to you when she is comfortable unless you see it going out of hand.  The minor things are not necessarily horrible although to most people it would seem that way.  If it bothers you too much you may want to bring it up and talk with her about it and see if she will open up more to you.\n\nI was a cutter!
512181
Caitlyn, I know it's scary to talk your parents, but you need their help.  You don't have to tell them right away that you're cutting, but at least try to tell them you're unhappy.  So many people suffer in silence just because they're too scared to tell anyone.  Your parents can help you to feel better, but they won't know you're hurting unless you tell them.\n\nIf you tell your parents you're cutting, I can't promise that their reaction won't be scary.  It's hard for parents to find out their child is cutting.  No one wants to see their little girl hurting herself.  It's scary for you to tell your parents, but it's just as scary for them to hear it.  They might yell at you, they might cry, they might act like nothing's wrong, but what they're probably not going to do unless they're trained psychologists is react how you want them to.  You'll have to give them a little time to get used to it.  But once they come to terms with it themselves, they can help you, and you really need their help.\n\nYou can also make it easier by how you tell them.  A lot of times it's most tempting to tell someone when you're mad at them, kind of like "look what you made me do."  Don't do that.  It's best if you're as calm as possible, and so are they.  Don't bring it up too casually, either.  And don't just show them the cuts.  If they think it's not a big deal to you, it makes it scarier for them, and they're more likely to yell at them.\n\nThe best thing to do is go up to your mom or dad (whoever your more comfortable with) sometime when you're not having a fight or anything, and tell them you need to talk to them.  Tell them you need their help (even just say it, "mom, I need your help with something").  They're a lot more likely to take it well if it's really clear you want their help.  And try your best not to get angry at them if they don't take it well, cause the last thing you want is for it to be something you fight about.  Also try not to show them the cuts, at least right away.  It's really hard for parents to actually see the marks on their beautiful baby girl, and the harder it is for them, the more likely it's not going to go well.\n\nTell them why you did it before you tell them what you did.  It's less of a shock that way.  Tell them that you're unhappy, tell them what's going on at school and how it made you feel.  Tell them as specifically as you can why you cut, try to tell them how you felt right before the first time you cut, and then after all of that tell them that you cut.\n\nSweetheart, I know it's scary, but you can do it.  You're in 6th grade now, right?  You're practically a grown up already.  Be brave and tell your parents you need help.  It will be ok.  No matter how scary it is, their still your parents, and you're still their little girl.  They'll still love you, and they'll still take care of you.\n\nCaitlyn, if you ever want to talk, you're welcome to email me at emilyrose1986@yahoo.com.
625885
Are you even friends? If you are going to tell her, then at least get to know her a little first. And some strong advise for when you do tell her eventually. Don't interrogate her and make her make the decision right then. Give her some time to think. Good Luck!
277803
if the counseling is not working, find a new counselor, psychiatrist, etc.  some people go through quite a few before finding one that works well for them.\nmy own history is rather full of self cutting and as for myself i just sort of outgrew it as the desire became less and  less over the years...but it wasn't like i outgrew it in a year, it was more like ten.  and some of it gets hard as to what to count or not.  i always greatly enjoyed skateboarding and always skated better when i was depressed and thinking of cutting myself, so i guess it was a f*** it if i get hurt thing going on there.  i also went through numerous piercings before i realized i was doing it since it was more socially acceptable to have a hoop than a self created scar.\nas for understanding it...its not really something you probably can, people either seem to understand it (cause they have been there) or not.  it was almost like self medicating for me, like a reset switch that would refocus me and i would feel better for awhile after wards.  it definitely wasn't a healthy habit and i came close several times to killing myself which is scary now to look back on but at the time wasn't bothering me all that much.  most cutters i have known though, there "habit" hasn't really gotten worse, meaning that, a cut was a cut and there wasn't a drive to make bigger or more cut/s intentionally next time.\n...it felt very "real," i felt "alive" again after doing it, and able to focus more, it was like i could snap myself out of being depressed by cutting myself.  being yelled at about it didn't help at all, if anything it made me feel worse.  though i was fine if i felt like someone was talking to me, trying to understand why i did it and not being overly judgmental about me for it.  so i would recommend very neutral conversations about it with her for awhile.\nwriting really helped me alot to work things out, though it never stopped me from cutting myself...but a writing hobby can't hurt any.  you might want to try to determine if she is taking "trial" runs at a real suicide attempt, though really try to be very neutral and diplomatic about this.\nits also something that doesn't really seem to ever go away 100%, i am rather fond of my scars, though i know many people who are ashamed of theirs, and i still think about it ever so often but for some reason just don't do it.  i guess i should add i was always most prone to cutting myself if i realized i was going into a depression, or when i was coming out of one, so maybe that might help you determine when she is most at risk, though i'm sure it varies for different people.  anyway...i don't mind talking about really, so feel free to email or message me if you want.  hope this helps some.
208474
awww, she needs someone to talk to, if her family is not an option, she should call her local crisis hotline and ask for a referral to a mental health professional, she can also talk to a counselor at school but she may be concerned about the confidentiality, she can talk to her medical doctor, she can also talk to someone at her church or if she hasn't one, any local church will do. Cutting oneself maybe a symptom of a serious problem that requires professional help...as far as hating her family but being ready to do anything for her friends well that is called being a teenager *smile* She should also know that drugs are even more dangerous for those who are suffering from depression.
361778
Cutting yourself is not always a cry for attention, and it's not lame. People who cut themselves seriously usually have deep, emotional issues and need help. Most of them can't do it alone. Tell someone. Reach out. Get help. Talk to a doctor. You deserve to be happy, without pain.