First of all, I am not very mobile so I can't just leave town.  Secondly, this is by no means a romantic stalking situation (LOL!)  I am "attempting to live my life apart from a very tight-knit religious institution".  Thirdly, I cannot afford to go through the courts and get a restraining order.  I would only use violence as a last resort, and other people have done such things as damage his vehicle to no avail.  It's actually a rather common occurance, though I guess no one has put sugar in the gas tank.  I would consider doing something illegal as a next-to-last resort.  As he has no windows (LOL) I might also consider putting something unclean in his car (blood, urine, feces).  Why is it some people don't go away no matter how many times you tell them they aren't welcome?  It's almost as though he WANTS me to do something to him.  All creative ideas are welcome and appreciated.
124494
I'm confused, is this guy a member of the church or is he simply a crazed homeless guy living in his van?\n\nLook, I dont know, im really bad at this "subtle revenge" thing.\nYoure trying to avoid his "conversion"? Tell him youre gay. Christians hate gays.\n\n:UPDATE:\nBut whats his prime objective in watching you and your friends? Is he trying to turn your friends into members? What does he want from you? Figure out what it is he wants, once you have the right question than you can get the right answer.\n\nALSO\nIs he clean cut? or very ragged and shabby looking? Do you get the impression that hes been using drugs?\n\nO, in that case youre dealing with a sociopath. Well, if he has threatened you than a restraining order will be easy to get. It might be best if you beat him at his own game, I wouldnt damage his car or fuck with his property as it might just escalate into something you could regret later. You gotta beat him at his own game, recruit some friends to confront this asshole.
222529
from my experience, he is in contempt of court by not following the judges orders.  this is pretty devious but it was done to me and it worked wonders...have an order of protection put on him and request custody of your daughter.  order of protection are much more than a restraining order.  police action will be taken anytime you request.  of course all you have to do is tell your lawyer or just go to the special victims unit and that you feel your life is in danger or has been threatened.  he will be screwed.  it still haunts me.  police used to call my cell phone and ask we i was at the moment.  all because she said i drove by the house.  none of what she told the police was true, and it didn't matter.  that order of protection sucks.  anytime he violates it, automatic 10 days in jail.  its dirty but its one way to stick it to him.  good luck.  oh, and there was no investigation to see if she was even telling the truth.  they just issued it and enforced it.
85385
depending on time of death i'd say he could be charged w/ some sort of reckless neglect. mabey even 2nd 3rd degree murder[ but it wouldnt stick unless he fourced the drugs on her.   my god if this is your daughter , i'm so sorry for you . i dont know how you will find any peace other than through forgivness.  the courts / police will only continue to "boil" your blood. as hard as it may be seek justice and solis in the lord not the system
403664
I am not sure on the legalities but if I were you I would take those things you need and go someplace he can not find you for a couple of days. Remember the worse time to be hurt badly or even murdered is the end of a relationship. Make sure the things you are trying to keep don't get you killed. There are shelters and such to help you just call your women's help division of the state. If you can not get help call the women's YWCA but get out of the paces he can find you until you can properly gage his anger and limitations. If you have children do it for them you must live thru this to even have property to worry about. Be safe and good luck hon.
229672
Yeah...it sounds familiar ...I have an ex who tried the same...basically you have to set boundaries as it's not appropriate for him to visit you given his feelings and the fact that you're committed to another man. Tell him to use the phone or mail to communicate but don't expect him to go away -it's been 18 years since my ex has been doing this but as he's basically harmless I haven't really cared. The important thing is -is your ex harmless? Or is he someone who may act on his obsession? Finally I want to say -be sure you're not sending mixed signals...I've seen too many women not be clear about their wishes only to whine or press charges later when it's their fault for not being direct in the first place! Be honest with him and tell him to scram! There's my advice...I hope you take it! Edit~ I got your mail....If you hate him as you say AND HE HAS 'HURT YOU SO BAD' then why are you putting up with him then? Get a restraining order! Call the police and file a complaint and ask them to tell him to stay away! I thought maybe you still liked him on some level but since that's not the case you need to be pro active! Don't sit here on yahoo talking about it-do something about it -and I mean right now-today! Make sure you don't regret not doing anything!!!!!!!!! Everyday you let this go on-you encourage him more, and give him hope and he will become more relentless! You have been warned!
249700
IF EXPLAINED IN COURT, I'M ALMOST 99%SURE YOU'D GET IT ALL, WAS THE CAR YOU WERE DRIVING A POSSESSION OF YOUR MARRIAGE OR WAS IT A CAR YOU HAD BEFORE THE MARRIAGE?.....DID HE AT ANYTIME, "LIVE IN YOUR BODY AND SUFFER YOUR PAIN?.....I THINK NOT........YOUR EX IS TRYING TO INTIMIDATE YOU, I'D FILE A RESTRAINIGN ORDER ON HIM WITH ONLY SUPERVISED VISITATION WITH YOUR CHILD WITH A WITNESS PRESENT AND ALWAYS EITHER RECORD YOUR CONVERSATION OR VIDEOTAPE IT. THIS WILL KEEP HIM AT HIS BEST MANNERS AND HE'LL KNOW YOU ARE DOING THINGS BY THE BOOK. MAKE SURE YOUR ATTY. TELLS THE JUDGE HE IS INTIMIDATING YOU AND THAT YOU ARE AFRAID OF HIM, IT IS OBVIOUS THAT HE IS MONEY MOTIVATED (bad for him in court)AND JUDGES LOOK DOWN ON PEOPLE WHO INTIMIDATE WOMEN. IN ALL STATES
493900
LOL...as a law student you better hope he NEVER finds out your drugging him for FREE time.....Why do you think you have the right to alter his body chemistry so you can have a quiet night? You're as bad as skeezy guys who put hgb in girls drinks to date rape em only you do it for peace and quiet...go to the library if that's what you want. On one hand you make me laugh...on the other you horrify me. Seriously seek help for this before you kill him with your ice tea cocktails.
170158
Somehow you've got to find the motivation for this.  Is he in desperate straits and really needs money to stay off the street?  In that case he needs to be punished and set straight by the entire family, and hopefully some people will care for him enough to help him find a cheaper apartment or give him a temporary job or something.  Maybe demanding some restitution once he gets on his feet financially would send the right signal of hating the sin and loving the sinner.\n\nSince it's been going on for so long, I have a hunch he's a kleptomaniac.  I don't know much about this condition--maybe it's a way to express anger, or maybe this is a sick bid for attention.  If it is a serious compulsion I doubt it can be cured by scolding or ostracizing.  Maybe this will be a hitting bottom experience that will drive him to get treatment.\n\nGood luck,\nHouyhnhnm
188508
I have been by an ex.  Restraining order didn't work, he broke it.  Moved didn't work, he found me.  I still don't know where he is and that is the scariest part of all!  They still haven't caught him so that means he could be anywhere.  It's not fun or a joke let me tell you!
13722
Okay, you've got some good advice here and some useless advice.  I'll offer mine in addition and see what happens.\n\nI'm confused: a woman has been stalking you, but a man was taking pics of the inside of your apartment...??\n\nBut you're asking for advice:\n\nMove.  Seriously.  If you really believe that your life is in danger, move.  Now.  People take the position that "I'm not being pushed out of here by these crazy people" and then live months or years, constantly looking over their shoulders.  I guess you can if you want, but if moving solves the problem, do it.  I know that's not a good answer for a lot of people...but if we are talking about your life, what's more important?\n\nSounds like your last contact with the police was on the 8th, right?  Don't wait for them to call you and let you know what's going on...call them, and ask what's going on.  Have there been any arrests?  What's the status of the investigation?  Can they offer you a temporary or emergency protective order?  Who is the officer or detective handling the case?  When can you speak with them?  What do they recommend you do, based on their investigation?  Where can you go to seek some legal advice or representation?  \n\nI don't know that I'd be so quick to get to the media as some have suggested.  I would certainly make every effort to work within the police department and seek your results through them, rather than possibly embarrass them or yourself in the media.  \n\nIt's late and I'm beat....but I'd be happy to help you sort some more of this out if you'd like.  You can email me at my user name at yahoo.com.  Really need to know what state you're in, though.
295335
if you have any of the messages (e-mail and phone) take them to the police....(if you don't its ok but its good to have that as evidence) ask to get a restraining order put on him. they will give him a warning and issue the order telling him he cannot contact you in any form or he will be arrested...make sure to tell them you fear for your life to expedite the procedure...
516815
I just dealt with a case like this where an individual was told not to call on go near another person, they filled an order of protection and he ws not present.  He didn't even know it existed.  It was his own mother and step dad.  They lured him to the apartment complex by telling his aunt that his property was on the stoop.  He picked it up.  The next day he was just walking down the street and was picked up by police based on a description and arrested for violation a restraining order, fined and arrested.  I got him released ROR argueing the same points as some of your answers listed above but the short of it is he is going to county lock up if he doesn't beat the charge.  lawyers fees are expensive.  he can now only afford a public defender and they are way over worked, under paid and not to bright, I would expect probation or 30 days incarceration at county lock up and if you are not careful you will receive the same.  After the hearing the constable or someone will make one attempt to serve you and that is it.  You need to obey the order or face arrest.  Unless you have unlimited money for attorneys fee you shouldn't fight it.  Or you might be using the public pretenders office.  Work this out through a third party and be apologetic and humble.  Get this order dropped or you will run into this person and do some time.  This case was in Upstate NY but the laws are very common throughout the US and some places might add stalking.  Big jail time!  watch your step, the law is on the filers side, file a counter order asap.
377416
The Courts seriously frown on this...\n\nActually extinguising one's rights and responsibilities as a parent is a major deal in family law in any state.  Give this issue more time and thought.  On the other hand, If this guy physically abused you that's much different.  I would expect there would be people in the legal community to help you to do what you need to do.  Still, I think getting support from him is necessary.  My thoughts...\n\nCheck out this site for County by County resources in your state:\n\nhttp://www.illinoisattorneygeneral.gov/dvsa/violence_Victims.htm
393297
Just make the break and refuse his calls.  If necessary get a judge to give you a restraining order against him.  He sounds like he could harm you.  As far as him killing himself or whatever, that's his problem.  You have to protect you and can't worry about what he's going to do.  I'm sure you still care about him but you have to do what's best for you.  He probably has no intentions of harming himself but he knows that it bothers you and that's why he says those things.
56303
You can go to court and have partial restraining order done. That would give him visitation, most likely under supervision.
324998
Listen honey I have been in a bad relationship myself and know where you arecoming from you have to stand up for yourself and move on you say you can't leacve Why? they have got you to the point where you are wallowing in self pity just as they like you. What is happening here is domestic abuse and it has to end before you end first. For your childrens sake leave him if he don't like it tell him where to go ****himself or tell him if he loves you to stand up to his family for you though from the sound of it he is week as s**t no man should ever allow anyone including his family to run you down. I wish i could do more for you but sadly I can't if you need to chat though send me an email and I will keep chatting and offering no strings advice I am a voluntary member of the samaritans and will make timwe to chat if you need me.
203323
First of all, does he have anything you would want. You can file for a restraining order that will not permit him to come near you. If he does, he will be arrested. \n\nI have known of one restraining order that require the bad guy to move because his apartment was within the prohibited distance. That is probably all you can do. The police will give him a warning at the most. All the States, cities and counties are too low on money to do anything else. It is too expensive to have a trial for something that only hurt someones feelings and left them feeling embarrassed and angry. \n\nToo bad, he should not get away with it. I had a similar thing happen to me. I decided to just forgive the guy to get it off my mind. He wasn't worth the time I was spending thinking about him.\n\nHere is something I learned many years ago and it is still my best friend in cases like this...\n\n"If they haven't taken away your happiness, they haven't won"