seriously I was dating a lot of guys but never felt like sleeping with them you know! so I am 20 , in college , a bit desperate about myself right now + VIRGIN !!! I am a bit scared that guys that I am going to date in the future willsort of "make fun " of me because I am a virgin and well just feel a bit confused! how should I deal with this? is that ok to be a virgin when you are 20?  any answer appreciated!thank you
132104
Virginity is as the most precious gift you have to give, so it should be highly valued.  Think about it: It is the only thing about you that you can give away just once.  So you should be extremely particular about that.  I wish now at 39 that I had been more particular when I ws 20!
568275
You should not be ashamed of being a virgin.  If you choose to be, then no one else has a right to put you down for it.  You are making the best decision in saving yourself for the right person.  You may of had chances back then, but you realize that maybe you aren't ready.  People should respect that.  If that is your choice, then don't be ashamed.  Be proud!
296597
okay, time for big brother to take over here.\nkid, im 21, and i know where you are coming from with all these questions about girls, sex, and puberty. but take my advice, being young is something that should be enjoyed, not ruined by obsessing over sex. i mean, im still a virgin and i still have no regrets at all(don't get me wrong, i still fall in love and go on dates). in my case, I'm now happily in love with a beautiful red headed fiance, but I'm still waiting for our wedding night. so if i can wait while in this much love, I'm sure you can wait until you are truly in love. because true love doesn't care if you hit puberty, live next door, or whether you masturbate.
520991
You may not want to hear this, but seriously you are not ready for a relationship. Sure, your hormones may be telling you otherwise. But you still have a lot of growing up to do. Guys will come and go throughout your life. You have plenty of time for a relationship later on. But now, being you are so young, just concentrate on being "friends" only with all the guys you meet. Dating is a big step, and you are not ready yet. Good luck to you!
228580
nO THIS DOESNT SOUND DUMB SWEETY..LOOK I WAS 20 B4 I LOS MY VIRGINITY AND IM PROUD..DONT DO IT UNLESS U ARE READY AND U KNOW THE PERSON IS THE RIGHT PERSON I WISH I COULD TAKE MY VIRGINITY BACK FROM WHO I GAVE IT TO TO GIVE IT TO THE MAN DEEPLY LOVE...WHEN U ARE READY JUST TAKE IT SLOW. DONT LET ANY MAN PRESSURE U INTO IT ITS YOUR BODY UR CHOICE.
439866
i know how you feel cuase i maybe just getting out of that right now...\n\nsee i haven't had a real boyfriend for almost 2 years  and about two weeks ago i asked a guy that is a grade younger out, he said yes becuase i knew he really liked me.. we went out for a week then i said i am just a lil over welmed by the feeling and just need to take a lil break.. after a while he started talking to my friends and practically the whoiole school found out we liked each other and now everyone considers us to be dating...  and we just kinda go with everyone cuase everyone else thinks it is great now im not so overwelmed with the feeling... i think the overwelming i use to feel was that i was afraid of being heartbroken again.\n\ndon't worry you will grow out of the feeling a lil while after you begin dating.. depending on however your emotions work..\n\nnothing to really worry about
146765
Yes my dear, I know what you mean. If you're scared, don't go. \n\nDoes he know you're a virgin? You didn't say how long you two have been dating. If you've dated him a long time and he knows you are a virgin and has been respectful, never questioning you or pressuring you, then it MIGHT be okay. I still think if you are afraid or it makes you uncomfortable, then you should do what feels right to you and not go. If you feel you might be pressured to have sex and you are not ready to, then do not go. \n\nI am not a virgin any more, but know how this feels. Let me share a story with you:\nI am a single woman (previouly married many years ago). I was dating a guy for a few months and I really liked him, but had not had sex with him. We kissed on our dates, and it was very hot, but kept it at that level, just kissing, no "heavy petting". He invited me on a ski trip for a week. We had not travelled together before, or even spent a weekend together, so I was a bit hesitant. (I should have paid attention to that feeling; that was my intuition.)  I really did not think he would pressure me. He had been very well mannered. I would not have gone otherwise. I knew spending that much time together would let us really get to know each other. We got along well and it would be fun, especially because we both like to ski.\n\nOn that trip, he started by wanting me to sleep in the same bed with him. I actually didn't have much choice, the room only had one bed. I should have known right there that a real gentleman would have made sure there were 2 beds or asked me if I was okay with the sleeping arrangements. I felt a little uneasy about it, because I was not ready to be so physically close to him. But I figured it was okay, and kept my gown on. Well, it just got worse each night. By the 4th night he was pissed off that he had "paid to take [me] on this trip and [I] wasn't being accomodating". He got more and more demanding. He flat out told me he "deserved" to have sex with me! He was a real jerk about it! Rather than a really great time, it became a degrading experience for me.  Needless to say, we stopped seeing each other after that. \n\nThat was years ago but I learned a lesson. For me: I would never go on a trip with a man unless we were crazy about each other,already in a commited relationship, and had already made love before that trip. I turned down several trips, but I did not want to be in that position ever again! Yuck!I did not go on a trip with a man again until all of my criteria were met, and what a difference! It was worth the wait.\n\nI commend you for being a virgin. it's a rare thing these days. If you are not ready to lose your virginity, don't!\n\nJust because a man pays for a trip, no woman "owes" a man sex in exchange. I have asked several men (yes, all kinds, including wealthy, well educated, well-mannered upper class men, like the man I had gone on that ill-fated trip with) about this and unfortunately many men seem to think that accepting the invitation of going on a trip is some unspoken code for "there will be vacation sex." They assume "the woman knows [he] wants sex on a trip." So don't go unless you want that too.\n\nYou do what feels right for YOU, not your boyfriend. If he really loves you, he will not pressure you. He will understand. If he doesn't, then break it off. You are special and need to be with someone who truly understands and appreciates you. Good luck!
130895
Mad props to you!!!!  You're more mature than most girls your age.  Teenage girls are notoriously insecure and petty, so many of them feel they need a boyfriend.  Pathetic, really.  You can have fun (sometimes more fun) without a boyfriend!  So they way you feel isn't a big deal.  And I've met a lot of girls who didn't really date until they were in their 20's.  A lot of them wanted to focus on their school work and their friendships in high school.  So hey, if you're happy without a boyfriend, you're better off than most girls your age.  You're happy with yourself.  Celebrate it and be proud of it.  And some day, a guy will love you for that.
569412
Well, I definitely don't think it's uncommon for guys to choose the "wrong" girl. Guys tend to think about the wrong thing when it comes to virginity, which is what they're doing instead of who they're doing it with. To me, it doesn't matter how old you are when you lose it, because it's not a contest. It's all about feeling comfortable with the person you're with and wanting it to be with them. I say to hell with today's standards because there are kids in elementary school these days having sex and getting pregnant - it's ridiculous! But somehow our society would rather have that than being embarrassed by a plethora of 25 year-old virgins.\n\nI never was phased by my peers when it came to my choices. I lost mine at a fairly "normal" age, which was 15, and it also needs to be kept in mind that I am much more mature in my thinking than others that age because of how I grew up with a bunch of brothers who were pretty promiscuous. I knew I wasn't going to do it unless I REALLY felt it was right, and that's exactly what happened. I am glad that I did it, because it helped me learn even more (but in a good way since it was my own content choice). And, I haven't had any other partners since him.\n\nI say, don't have any shame if you lost it at 20 - I actually praise you for that because most guys would have broke down just to be a part of the crowd well before that. But if you wish it was with another girl, just take it as future advice for yourself. You can't change what happened before but you know how to feel about it now, so I think that's what's important. I'd rather be like that than someone who does it with 10 wrong girls.
168909
No. I'm not a virgin. I lost my virginity at 15. It was not a good experience. I was with someone I loved, someone I'm still with to this day (over a year later). But I wasn't ready. In truth, I didn't really know what was happening until it was too late. Don't get me wrong, I knew what sex was. I just didn't know we were going to have it. Lol. I felt pressured. He was 18 and extremely experienced. And when I say extremely, I mean he'd been with 33 girls before me. I also didn't like the WAY it happened. There were no candles, no soft music. Just a movie playing. And it was rushed and tense because my grandparents were in the other room. So if you're thinking about having sex for the first time, loving the person's not the only thing you have to worry about. Make sure you're completely comfortable with the idea. Make sure you're alone and you use protection. (Which I didn't.) Plan ahead of time. And make it special. Remember, you only get one first time.
349354
I am 38 and I have had an experience meeting a woman that was a virgin still at 24.  She was apologetic and very shy.  I don't think you should feel bad for being a virgin.  Everyone has a first time - some sooner some later.\n\nAt least being older he would hopefully find your honesty appreciative.  Tell him as a matter-of-fact when an intimate conversation comes up.  Don't sound as though you are making a big deal of it.\n\nAnd if he is hesitant or steps back, just respect it and move on.  There's absolutely nothing to be ashamed about who you are darling :-)  Good luck.
597686
what does this have to do with me?\n\nyour title sucks!\n\n\nif your adventurous enough to be with a girl i guess you might be maturenough to be with a guy, however if your questioning it and second guessing at all.\nyou prob shouldn't have sex.\n\nnow heres an idea... this i what i would suggest to someone older but i have to just accept the fact that young ppl have goin crazy and f**king all the itme....\n\nget a guy or two and a girl and let him/them watch you with the other chich, and they are allowed to service themselves but they can't touch you unless you touch them first.....\nthat way they get pleasure and so do you and you ccan decide in the moment if your ready for it.\n\ni dunno thats what I would do anyway...and really what guy wouldn't want to watch two chicks goin at it?\nplus theres the off chance he could get tag teamed....
118785
been there. sucks. confidence all low and crap cause we're not 20 anymore! fortunately for you, these Young girls think older guys are hot! guys get more distinguished looking. women just get older. i'm sure you'll find some one new to rock your world. just be careful. it's not the same world you dated in 20 years ago! best of luck!
379964
being a virgin is great beth am glad to hear that am a virgin to and yes guys love them.  its good to be that way only give yourself to your husband and nobody else cause once you give it away thats it. far as scaring guys off i don't know but in my personal oppion being that way and you lose it to some radom guy is ver disturbing reason why is because you do fine somebody you love very much and he is a virgin and you know he is going to marry you when you both get married you can't give your first to your husband and i think that he really deserves to be your first keep up the good work beth
36944
You seem to me to be a confused young lady. You want the guy b/c you feel threatened by other girls that they may makke the first move and take him from you. Young men say alot of things in front of peers to act macho that they wouldn't try alone.He may say to his buddies, "I would really like to see her naked", but in reality he would be scared or embarrassed. Given your age, I would advise you to hold off on offering anyone sex just yet. Especially since it seems like it is a game to you to try to win the boy over from another girl. You don't "HAVE TO" have sex because "EVERYONE" is doing it. Most young adults who say they are really aren't. Please save yourself for someone who truly, deeply cares and respects you b/c once you lose it, it is gone.
225349
I think maybe you are being very general in saying that it seems that way......I know alot of young women who take great pride in being virgins (my 19 year old daughter being one), and I wish I would have stayed a virgin for a bit longer (my first sexual experience was at a very young age). I'm very proud to know that young women are staying virgins until they are old enough to decide what is truly best for them. Take care dear, and does it matter what others think??????
255143
Im glad to hear that there r  some more smart girls in the  world than i thought!!! i live in europe and rare who loose virginity being 16 or earlier there. I know in US there is different.  Congradulations!!!  Dont be affraid...U know when i lost mine? Last  year, being 21. And im very glad about that. Cause  i found that guy who i want to be with all my life...  And  i am so proud i could had that  moment with him only.  im not sorry   i have been waiting till this moment so long. I remember the minute, wheh i told him i am still a virgin. He was. liek "wow...  im proud.."  trust me, he adores me now, cause  nowadays it is so  hard to find virgin girls..  We r going to get marriage in the future...  And i am so happy :))))))\n\nSo dont   be affraid..If u feel  this is a man u wanna be with,  of course tell him, he is going to be first. I odnt see anything u should be shame of... What going on with the world today...   Why we r trying to get adults so fast..  There r so many pure things, which we r forced to be shame of...\n\nI am with you!!!!\n\nSo wish u luck  on sharing that special moment with a guy u love and wnat to be with.   U will always rememebr that moemnt :))))))))\n\nps. sorry, if my english is not as perfect as i wish it to be :))))))))))