My roommate (who is a wonderful person) has developed the unfortunate habit of complaining... a LOT. Every day, she finds something to complain about. She sighs and rolls her eyes. She complains if she can't find her keys, or if the light turns red, or if she's running late. Or for any reason, really. \n\nShe always complains about headaches, she never seems to feel good, and she just is complaining more and more. Neither one of us get much sleep-- we have very hectic schedules, but I don't complain about it. \n\nIt's just excessive. Everyone complains sometimes, but she does it constantly. If I say something to her, I'm sure I will offend her. I really do like her and care about her feelings.
119854
I'd find out why this behavior got started. She may be depressed or worried. Be a pal and find out the why. If you can help her with that, she'll probably stop complaining about things that have nothing to do with her real problem, whatever that may be.\nIf she's complaining without an underlying cause, maybe she wants a new roommate and she's trying to get you out and someone else in.\nOr she could be physically ill with something and not know how to handle it.\nYou won't know until you ask. Best way to ask.....be polite, but just ask outright, in a calm, soothing tone of voice, whassamattah you? Or words to that effect.
553237
Why are some people so bitter? My grandmother could be the same way, but fortunately never to me. Probably because I didn't see her that often! But yours lives with you. The next time she says something nasty, immediately call her on it! Don't wait and give her time to forget (some people don't even realize how bad they are, I think ~ not a case of Alzheimer's, just a case of nobody ever called them on their poor behavior!). Say something like, "Grandma, what ever happened to you to make you so bitter?" or "Are you always so condescending, or just around your family?" Put it bluntly, then let her have time to think about it. You may not see immediate results, if any. But at least you will know you tried. Don't be mean, though, or you will be sinking to her level ~ just be honest. And hum. =)  I tend to hum or whistle a lot when people are *so* getting on my nerves that I'm about to burst. It helps to distract me as well as drown their noise out of my head ~ some days I'm humming the whole day away! God bless, and best wishes!
418025
My fiance is not the best listener.  Used to get me pissed because I would be talking about something I thought was important to me (and I don't usually express myself much) and she would respond with a comment about something totally different like she wasn't even listening to what I was saying.  Made me feel dumb to get mad and bring it up because I felt like a whining woman (sorry ladies)\n\nI learned to deal with it and now just realize I have to bring her back to the conversation and make her focus lol  She tries more to listen to what I have to say too.\n\nLove you babe.
557014
This happened when me and my boyfriend first moved in together.  No one is to blame, you are just getting used to seeing sides of eachother you hadn't before.(you are prob both driving each ohter a little crazy, right? ) And now that you living together its not like you come over for a few hrs and she devotes all her attention to you and then you go home.  You both have to get used to not always being in the center of each others attention.  As for the sex, if you see each other everyday she doesn't have to  worry about the next time she is going to get it.. so it becomes less of a priority....  It will get better in time ..give it a month or 2..... if it doesn't I'd definately bring it up to her.. just dont place any blame... good luck and I hope it works out for you :)
304747
Yep. been there done that.  Try talking it out & setting house rules.  If you don't it could likely end up being a much worse situation.\nMake some areas of the house "general" areas.  = Front room - no personal stuff.  that way there is no Junk.\nIf all else fails & you don't mind "stooping to their level" start doing the same exact thing.  After they complain, explain that they have been doing the same thing & you are only trying to get a point across of how much it is bothering you.  Although - the fight resulting may not be worth it.  You will be better off getting a new roommate if the "house rules" do not work
372525
Just talk to them and be nice about it.  I am a slob and know it is kind of hard to just change all at once.  I had a roommate in college just leave me a nasty note one day and that ruined our friendship.  The following year I had a neat freak again for a roommate and she would just tell me "could you please pick that up today or your turn to do the dishes".  All I needed was a little reminder once in a while and that works.  You did move in with them however it is your place as well and they need to respect that.  Just say something even in a joking manner they will get it.  Good luck and don't just do it for them they will never learn.
287474
Sure...I like it when people complain...makes me feel less guilty about my own complaining!!!
197220
You can decide not to be affected by her ruined moods.  You can't control her lack of awareness about what's bothering her, but you being in a good mood may lift her off from her blah periods.  You can only do so much for her, but being her positive bf will really do wonders for her.  Good luck!  :)
580529
First off, yes Oh my gosh I get so pissed at my husband for the smallest things.  I think it is because we become so comfortable with them, and they are constantly in the same living space as we are, that you can't bottle every little irritation up you have to let it out otherwise you might explode one day and not be married anymore.
137888
if you have to ask you are probably doing it. it has to do with the subtle control or the appearance of an attempt to control or at least influence us in an indirect way, and it is this indirectness that is so annoying.\n\nfor example, if i forget or neglect to clean up after my GF fixes dinner, and she kids me about it "saying you lazy sack get off the computer", the message is cool and i'll say "oh yeah i'll do them as soon as i can". (i usually mean before midnight!) but she could ask again in an hour. if she says "are you gunna do the dishes?..."  then my response is "did i fkking stutter before?". however, if she tickles me and says "you addict, get yer butt up and do them dishes boy" then i will likely laugh and go do the dishes, thinking nothing bad about her whatsoever. the latter happens 98% of the time, and the other 2% i write off cos it is usually due to her being in a bad mood; besides, she usually is spot on despite her poor delivery.\n\nnagging is completely unnecessary and i believe it is a manifestation of a someone having nothing more important to do in her life but control the person near her. if nagging is some kind of "issue" that you have to work on and you find yourself constantly checking to see how you are doing with the "issue" then you seriously need to find something of substance or value to focus on. go write a book or volunteer or something!
26609
I think you should speak to your girlfriend and maybe she could talk to her mom about the issue. Your right though its not your house and your girfriends mom probably wouldnt want you to say anything. But then again you do practically live there if you stay 5 nights a week.... but i would still just speak to your girlfriend she could include herself as having the problem to and just say mom me \nand_______ are having a hard time sleeping and we both would really appreciate it if ________ could be a little quiter when he comes over. if that dont work get EAR PLUGS!
614755
I would definitely talk to her about it.  If that didn't help, talk to your roommate.  This apartment belongs to you and your roommate, not his GF.  If his GF pays part of the rent, then I guess I'd just try to wake up a little earlier.
670604
This roommate of mine saying "No...No...No....No" because I told him to shut-up three hours ago.\n\nYou can see what an exciting life I lead. ENVY ME!!!!
42181
I am sometimes so optimistic it drives people nuts. I don't really get angry usually, I think of positive ways to solve the problem. I don't like complaining unless you have a plan to fix it.
22661
You listen to her problems day in and day out? Are you unique in this aspect, or is she just a chronic complainer? If you are the only person (or, at least, the only guy) she brings her troubles to, I'd say she already has a thing for you, although she may not be concious of it yet. And if that's the case, it's probably up to you to make the first move. If you really can't bear to bring the subject up in person, try a note or an email. You'll probably be able to express what you want to say much more eloquently and clearly in that format, and I guarantee that she'll respect you for having the guts to say what you really think.
426405
She does stuff to delibratley irritate you and make your life miserable. First, quit showing things irritate you. For things that normally get to you eventually she'll make a comment like, "Does this bother you?" Just say, "What?" Let her respond and your reply is, "Oh, I didn't notice so I guess not." Tune her out. \n\nThere are always people like this in life, eventually it will be your husband as well. I'm sure you do things to irritate her as well, we all do something that will annoy someone at some point in time. You may want to have a discussion with her and be assertive (not aggressive) and listen to her. Let her know you want to be friends and don't like living with tension on a daily basis. Explain you would also like to go back to having fun with her and you care about her. Also, ask her to stop doing certain things. Set two to three non-negotiables you want her to stop and ask her what you do that irritates her and you can change. It's give and take and don't take things too personally. \n\nSomething much deeper is going on with her and you that needs to get resolved. Or her problem is nothing to do with you, and she's just taking out whatever is going wrong in her life out on the person she lives with (which could be anyone else as well). Just be sure not take things too personally. Good luck!
454283
I see your problem. You don`t want to make her mad by telling her she shouldn`t be so obsessed, but you can`t take it anymore. For right now, all I can tell you is to nod and pretend your listening.