I went out with this guy 6 years ago and even after marriage and 2 kids i still love him.we keep in touch. he leaves in another country. What do i do? Is it wrong?
137213
if u dont want to affect ur married life then dont go more forward in this line it will only create troubles in ur life and above all it really very wrong to do this
318944
There are still some good guys left.\nThere is nothing wrong with him holding on to a happy time in his life. He and his wife obviously have trust for eachother and because he holds no grudges against you means that he rather have you as a friend that not at all in his life. Because he took so much time to contact you probably meant he is finally fully over you and wants to complete that with sharing his happy times with you and also make you realise that its ok to be friends.\nSo go for it but don;t expect more than a very good friend.\nGood luck!
489968
Break off all contact and give it up totally.  Otherwise you will be on a rollercoaster ride until something really snaps.  Right now you both are just feeding into a limbo loop.  I had a relationship that went 8 years like that, dating, engaged, friends, dating, engaged, friends, dating... and even when I finally said I was leaving for good, I continued to get calls and emails and even a visit to my door.  I stayed firm, though, and that was that.\n\nAs it is, it took me a couple of years before I really even thought about another relationship, and it was with somebody who had been through a similar meat grinder, so much so that both of us would regularly announce that we were just friends and would never, ever date.  We finally gave up on that and have been together since, 8 1/2 years.
31293
Keep the faith & keep wanting. There's nothing wrong with wanting "that someone special" to love you & your children - I know. I'd say keep going slowly with this gentleman & give it time. It really is great when you can begin as friends & the rest follows because when the years pass & ya'll settle down from red-hot passion, you've got a friend who will make you laugh & smile & will care for you, the real you. Also, I think it's great that you are keeping your children in the picture, part of the package. They're the most important things in your life & they are (believe it or not) affected by whomever you bring home, too. Stay strong & keep true to yourself.
450922
it always feels empty and weird after a major break up. if you keep breaking up and its not even a year yet, you are clearly not suited. you need to break up and be strong, dont turn back. all heart breaks hurt but better now than down the track when you are married with kids. it sounds like it is first love for both of you. you have plenty more time to find a life long partner. someone that doesnt say sorry as much!
668378
he will go back to the same old stuff once you agree to stay, unless you resolve the underlying problem and if the problem is a behavior thing of his you arent going to change it. sounds like you are done and when that happens there is no going back. look if the guy really cared about the marriage he would've changed things when you said you were unhappy instead of waiting until you said i'm leaving. do you really want to spend your life with your bags packed because thats the only thing that gets through to him? yes you said better or worse, but sometimes it just isn't worth it. only you can decide that, to me it sounds as if you already have. if you've already given him 100 chances to step up to the plate he obviously isn't going to and 100 more won't be enough either. good luck to you, things will work out!
622242
Sounds to me like you're both ready to move on. It happens sometimes. I assume you are young because you mentioned your 'class'. Now is the perfect time to move on as you are leaving for a period of time anyhow. If you aren't showing him affection (for any reason) anymore, then you don't love him anymore either. You may still care for him a great deal and you may miss what you once had, but you don't 'love' him anyone. Yes....it's time to break-up and move on. Good luck on your travels!
239586
If you love him, then support him in his journey, but keep in touch for the day when you can see each other again. Love isn't strengthened by denying people the opportunity to grow.
175188
Sounds like he's thinking of exploring the new territory. Let him be and see if he contacts you. if not then good ridence you deserve better. distance should never be a relationship destroyer..just ask all of us military wives. a few hundred miles is nothing compared to growing old with the one you love..maybe he isnt the one for you. Go find mr right he IS out there
205218
I WAS IN A SIMILIER SITUATION, BUT NOT ENGAGED. I WAS DATING A GUY FOR AWHILE WHEN HIS EX WHO HE HAD DATED FOR 3 YEARS STARED CALLING HIM AND TEXTING HIM ALL OF THE TIME. WHEN THEY HAD BROKEN UP HE WAS SOOO... HURT HE STARTED SMOKING WEED AND BASICALLY COULD HAVE CARED LESS ABOUT HIS LIFE.(THIS WAS ABOUT TWO YEARS BEFORE I HAD MET HIM THAT THEY BROKE UP)SHE WAS A THREAT TO ME BECAUSE I KNEW HOW MUCH HE LOVED HER, EVEN THOUGH HE WAS MADLY IN LOVE WITH ME I STILL FELT JEALOUS AND BETRAYED BY HIM TALKING TO HER.\nWHAT I DID WAS I SAT HIM DOWN AND SAID "LOOK, I LOVE YOU AND I KNOW YOU LOVE ME ...BUT, I DON'T LIKE THE FACT THAT"SHE" HAS BEEN IN CONTACT WITH YOU AFTER ALL OF THIS TIME AND NOW YOU ARE WITH ME AND STARTED YOUR LIFE OVER, YOUR PAST IS YOUR PAST AND IF YOU WANT TO GO BACK TO THAT, I AM NOT GOING TO BE HERE TO LIVE IN THE PRESENT WITH YOU."\nWE TALKED ABOUT IT AND HE UNDERSTOOD MY FEELINGS AND JUST STOPPED RETURNING HER CALLS AND TEXTS. WE ARE NOW MARRIED AND VERY HAPPY, BUT I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL I WAS IN THE SAME PLACE YOU WERE, UNTIL I OPENED UP TO HIM AND TOLD HIM HOW I FELT..AND IT ALL STOPPED. YOU ARE MORE IMPORTANT TO HIM THAN HER IN THIS STAGE OF HIS LIFE...KNOW MATTER WHAT..SO IF I WERE YOU I WOULD EXCEPT THE BOOK THING AND JUST CONSENTRATE YOUR RELATIONSHIP AND LOOK FORWARD TO STARTING YOUR LIFE TOGETHER..AND TALK TO HIM IT WILL HELP YOU AND THE STRESS YOU ARE UNDER. I'M SURE DOWN THE ROAD, WHEN THE TWO OF YOU ARE MARRIED WITH CHILDREN HE WILL WRITE YOU A BOOK ON THE WONDERFUL WIFE AND MOTHER YOU HAVE BECOME.\nSO...JUST LOOK FORWARD AND BE HAPPY! GOOD LUCK!!
341730
he's acting like that because you are going to be divorced soon and I bet he is married.... just from the way he is reacting, so move on dear - and give yourself time to heal completely before trying to get into another relationship. (you have to resolve all the issues that lead to your failed marriage - if you don't you'll drag that old baggage into another relationship.) If there was anything there you two would of met in person.... you talked for a long time without meeting and that should of told you something about him. (I've only met one man online who wasn't married and he was honest with me about his personal life and that's the man I'm married to! We talked for about 2 months and then we met in person - he helped me with coming to Canada to meet him.... and we "clicked" - and got married 3 months later! We have been married for 4 yrs. as of Sept.28th).... While I was single and chatting with men online for years --- they all turned out to be married or living with someone(with whom they had kids with).
121865
Here's the old mystical I Love Vs. In Love question again. If you Love him and Respect him, ask yourself what would be differant if you where "IN LOVE" with him? You have already stated "we are totally comfortable with each other from day 1. We laugh a lot, rarely argue, understand one another, accept one anothers faults and strengths. The sex is quite fun as well." How else would you quantify a good relationship? Then ask yourself the real tuff question, could you live in England? Are your skills that transportable? Could he live here? Are his skills that transportable?
363508
this is a question i had asked myself for 13 yrs. I had fallen in love when i was young and in high school. We had to move to another state so that my mother could find decent employment to take care of us. My mother told me that because i was young, i would soon forget. Me and this guy lost contact a year later after I had moved away. 4 years later, we made contact once again and began a phone relationship. We made plans to reunite. Things didnt go as planned and that trip was not made due to him becoming incarsarated for a crime that he did not commit. I began another relationship. I have had several relationships with other people since then. None of them had ever compared to the one we shared, until recently. Once again, I went about finding him. He had since married and had a child. We talked on the phone and we once again spoke of our feelings. It was known at that time that we both had always felt the same way. I was getting married 6 months after that phone call and I knew what I had to do. I had to go see him. I owed it to myself and to my future husband. My fiancee left me over this, but had i not made the trip, I would not have known what I know now. The love I have for him, will never go away. However, seeing him and his family together instilled a peace within me. I know that he is happy. I finally recieved the closure I needed to move on, knowing that we will always share a bond. Since then, I have met a man that I know will have my whole heart, the way that he should. Finalizing a former love relationship is the most important thing you can do for your self and the other person involved. It is what will allow you to move on and make future relationships work.
290498
I have a fiancee' in another country, and can relate to what you and your boyfriend are going through. \n\nIt is extremely difficult to maintain a relationship at such a long distance. My fiancee' and I have dedicated our hearts and our lives to each other. We both are doing everything we can to bring each other physically back together again.  It has required incredible commitment from both of us to go through all that we have so far.\n\nYour relationship, unfortunately, has doubt and commitment issues fro what you have described. Such issues are tough enough to deal with when you are face-to-face let alone being thousands of miles apart. Assuming that one of you lives in America, dealing with the immigration and visa issues is going to be a task and huge commitment in itself. ANY doubt of commitment is going to show through when you two deal with these issues.\n\nIn my opinion, you need to bluntly find out if your boyfriend is actually willing to commit his life to you, and a good test is for him to work on getting a fiancee' visa for you to visit him or vice versa. If he is serious about getting married, then he will need to do this sooner or later. If he is not willing to commit at least to that, then there is no need to continue the relationship. \n\nGood luck to you!
470800
How much do you care for him? Are you happy with him and your lifestyle? Would you really miss him if you came back to the USA and he did not?\nPeople lie about their age for different reasons, low self esteem, afraid you would not even give him a chance etc. The kids from a previous marriage though, you need to find out what kind of relationship he plans to have with them. Why has he not seen, talked to them in a year? Ask for clarification on all the things that are bothering you. Communication is the key
256332
Let him know this will be the challenge of how strong your relationship is, and that you think it is no problem!  \n\nOn the other hand, I lived in Europe for 7 years, it is WAY too fun and will be hard not to have "too good of a time".\n\nStay away from Majorca Spain!!!
141588
There's nothing about being selfish in this situation you're being reasonable. You can let this new guy know where you stand and let him know that you need sometime to sort through things in your life before getting back into another relationship. At the end of the if he wants to start another relationship with someone else you guys can still be friends and move on from there. On the other hand, if he wants to wait for you then you know he's in deed a really good guy. With my friendship/relationship I've been with my boyfriend for a 1.5 years and we were in the same state but then I went out of state to complete a Masters' degree and to be fair I gave him the option of being with someone else if someone else came along before I came back to MI to be with him. I did that because either one of us has never had a long distance relationship, so I didn't want to make him feel that he is "tied to me" while i'm out of state at Graduate school. The "separation" didn't happen we ended up still being together and when I came back to MI to visit him the love was there as if I was always there with him. So good things happen if its suppose to happen that way. Good luck and I wish you all the best.