what to say to a parent who has a child with autism?
316913
One of the best things you can do to help a parent of someone with autism is to give them the space to talk and to be a good listener in response. People often say: “This is an opportunity: You just didn't land where you expected, but landed. You thought you were going one place, but just ended up in another place.
36990
['“So happy for you two! ... ', '“Ahhh! ... ', '“You two deserve every bit of happiness this baby is going to bring you.”', '“So many happy and wonder-filled times ahead for you… ... ', '“Warmest congratulations on the birth of your sweet baby girl!”', '“Love just got real. ... ', '“Welcome to the world, little one!']
344064
["You tell them things you don't tell anyone else. ... ", 'You let them see you in moments of weakness. ... ', 'You respect them. ... ', 'You want them to meet your parents. ... ', 'You can imagine a future together. ... ', "You're not afraid to disagree with each other."]
649882
['Reassure them that they are good parents. ... ', 'Offer to watch the other kids. ... ', 'Take the other kids to do something fun. ... ', 'Bring meals. ... ', 'Give money. ... ', 'Offer to be the contact person. ... ', 'Be a shoulder. ... ', "Don't shut them out."]
616165
Commend them for their conduct. Offer encouraging words of affirmation to let them know they are doing a good job as parents and you know they love their child more than anything. Acknowledge that you trust them to do what is best and validate their decisions as they are theirs to make.
898474
['Make it easy for your kids to love both parents.', 'Tell them they are loved.', 'Tell the truth.', 'Keep it simple.', "Be civil - don't criticise or belittle the other parent in front of the kids.", 'Reassure your children that the separation has nothing to do with them.']
314497
['Be empathetic. ... ', 'Be positive. ... ', 'Let them know that they are loved.', 'Reach out to them and offer your support.']
3471
['When talking about death, use simple, clear words. ... ', 'Listen and comfort. ... ', 'Put emotions into words. ... ', 'Tell your child what to expect. ... ', 'Talk about funerals and rituals. ... ', 'Give your child a role. ... ', 'Help your child remember the person.']
47374
So to start off comforting someone, simply describe what you're seeing/sensing. Say something like, “I know you're having such a hard time with this,” or “I'm sorry you're hurting so much.” Also affirm that you hear what they're saying by saying it back to them in your own words.
79925
It's generally best simply to express your sympathy and let them tell you how they feel. And it's much better to say, "I don't know what to say", than to say nothing at all. Don't suggest what a bereaved parent should be feeling or doing. Everyone grieves in their own way and there are no time limits.
210152
['May I tell you about my child? ... ', "May I tell you about what's going on at home? ... ", 'How is my child doing socially? ... ', 'How is my child doing emotionally? ... ', 'In what areas does my child need improvement? ... ', 'What do you think my child is particularly good at?']
367747
['Ask rather than tell. ... ', 'Clearly explain what you want your child to do. ... ', 'Tell your child what to do instead of what not to do. ... ', 'Make requests that are reasonable. ... ', 'Teach your child words to express his feelings or to tell you what he wants. ... ', 'Be consistent.']
381033
['Ask specific questions. I love it when people ask about my kids – all parents do. ... ', 'Be inclusive. ... ', "Be respectful of parents' needs. ... ", 'Offer to help. ... ', 'Treat us normally. ... ', "You don't always need to know what to say or do. ... ", 'You can be curious.']
298478
['“I just want to let you know how proud of you I am.”', '“You work really hard for us, and even when things may feel tough, I just want you to know how appreciative I am.”', '“I feel so lucky to have you.”', '“I am here if you need me and I want to help support you in any way I can.”']
237405
If you want to talk about the baby, I am here to listen. If you have experienced a loss, you can say, “I remember having some of those same feelings you are feeling when I lost my baby. I know nothing I do or say can take away your pain. Please know I am thinking of you and your family.
75291
Typically, the best way to respond to a tantrum is to stay calm and ignore the behavior. You also might try to distract your child. A different book or a change of location might help. If you can't stay calm and you're at home, leave the room for a minute.
988513
Do say: “I don't know what you're going through, but I'm willing to listen if you need to talk.” By honestly acknowledging the gap in your knowledge and offering heartfelt help, you will be a much better support system for the parents of a child on the spectrum.