How many blonde jokes out there?
961424
A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her sports car and was pulled over by a woman police officer who was also a blonde.\n\n\nThe blonde cop asked to see the blonde driver's license. She dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated. \n\nWhat does it look like?" she finally asked. \n\nThe policewoman replied, "It's square and it has your picture on it." \n\nThe driver finally found a square mirror, looked at it and\nhanded it to the policewoman. \n\nHere it is," she said. \n\nThe blonde officer looked at the mirror, then handed it back\nsaying, "Okay, you can go. I didn't realize you were a cop.\n__________________
977574
LOVED the joke.  Haven't heard (or read) such a funny joke is ages!!!
833570
It's about time someone came up with a new blonde joke. This is hilarous. I would have never guessed what she was going to say at the end. Very good. I'll give you a 10 on the scale of 1-10. You also got a thumbs up. Great joke...got any more..?
801090
A dumb joke, but it made me smile.  Let's be clear that they were peroxide blondes and not natural ones.
108947
I have two: I love the second one.\nJoke #1\nA blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender, "Wanna hear a blonde joke?"\n\nIn a hushed voice, the guy next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, you should know something."\n\nOur bartender IS blonde, the bouncer is blonde. I'm a 6' tall, 200 lb black belt. The guy sitting next to me is 6'2", weighs 225, and he's a rugby player. The fella to your right is 6'5" pushing 300 and he's a wrestler. Each one of US is blonde. Think about it, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?"\n\nThe blind guy says, "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."\n-----------\n Joke #2\nTwo women are new arrivals at the pearly gates and are\n comparing stories on how they died.\n\n 1st woman: I froze to death.\n\n 2nd woman: How horrible!\n\n 1st woman: It wasn't so bad. After I quit shaking from the\n cold, I began to get warm and sleepy, and finally died a\n peaceful death. What about you?\n\n 2nd woman: I died of a massive heart attack. I suspected\n that my husband was cheating, so I came home early to\n catch him in the act. But instead, I found him all by\n himself in the den watching TV.\n\n 1st woman: So what happened?\n\n 2nd woman: I was so sure there was another woman there\n somewhere that I started running all over the house\n looking. I ran up into the attic and searched, and down\n into the basement. Then I went through every closet and\n checked under all the beds. I kept this up until I had\n looked everywhere, and finally I became so exhausted that\n I just keeled over with a heart attack and died!\n\n 1st woman: Too bad you didn't look in the freezer. We'd\n both still be alive.
904970
I give it a full 20! that joke was probably one of the best jokes ive ever heard!!\n\n llooll!!!!!!! yayayayyayayayayaya
1029458
Blonde in hayfield\n\n\n\nA Blonde was driving down the road, and spotted another\nBlonde in the middle of a hayfield rowing a boat. She stopped the car,\ngot out\nand went to the shoulder of the road, and yelled, "You know, it's\nblondes like\nyou that give blondes a bad name!, and if I could swim I would come\nout there\nand kick your ass!"\n------------------------\nPUT ON TWO COATS.\n\nThis blonde decides one day that she is sick and tired of all these\nblonde\njokes and how all blondes are perceived as stupid, so she decides to\nshow her\nhusband that blondes really are smart. While her husband is off at\nwork, she\ndecides that she is going to paint a couple of rooms in the house.\n\nThe next day, right after her husband leaves for work, she gets down\nto the\ntask at hand. Her husband arrives home at 5:30 and smells the\ndistinctive smell\nof paint. He walks into the living room and finds his wife lying on\nthe floor in\na pool of sweat. He notices that she is wearing a ski jacket and a fur\ncoat at\nthe same time.\n\nHe goes over and asks her if she is OK. She replies yes. He asks what\nshe is\ndoing. She replies that she wanted to prove to him that not all blonde\nwomen are\ndumb and she wanted to do it by painting the house. He then asks her\nwhy she has\na ski jacket over her fur coat. She replies that she was reading the\ndirections\non the paint can and they said....\n\n\n(scroll down)... I love this one ...\n\n\n\n\n\nFOR BEST RESULTS, PUT ON TWO COATS.
849868
heheheheeh........hoooooooooohoooooooooo\nmindblowing joke..................awesum................nicejoke
1066535
that was actually a pretty funny blonde joke, even though i dont condone stereotypes.
435779
Joke was really good and its " Fresh "..\nthats more importent..!!\nha..ha...!!\nplease post more jokes..!!\ni rate it as 1/1 =10/10 =100/100=10000/10000.........!
728723
haha that is hilarious\nwhats the diffference betwween a blonde and a brick\na brick only gets laid once
657991
I like blonds. I do not believe that they are stupid. Some blonds like them too.\n\n\n\n\n# Mom is dead!\n\nA blonde goes into work one morning crying her eyes out. Her boss, concerned about all of his employees well being, asked sympathetically, "What’s the matter?"\nTo which the blonde replies....."Early this morning I got a phone call saying that my other had passed away."\nThe boss, feeling very sorry at this point, explains to the young girl. "Why don’t you go home for the day.....we aren’t terribly busy now. Just take the day off to relax and rest."\nThe blonde very calmly states......"No, I’d be better off here. I need to keep my mind off it and I have the best chance of doing that here."\nThe boss agrees and allows the blonde to work as usual.... "If you need anything, just let me know."\nWell, a few hours pass and the boss decides to check on the blonde. He looks out over his office and sees the blonde hysterically crying!! He rushes out to her, asking,\n"What’s so bad now........are you gonna be ok??" \n"No......" exclaims the blonde. "I just got a call from my sister. She told me that HER mom died too!!"\n\n---x---\n\n# Want me to paint for you?\n\nA blonde was recently fired from an M&M factory for throwing away Ws and peeling the shells on the candies. Therefore, she needed a new job to support herself. After going around town asking if anyone needed work done, she found a man who needed a painter.\n\n"I'm here for the paint job," she said.\n\n"Alright," said the man. "Here is the paint and your brush. I want you to paint my porch behind the house."\n\nThe blonde immediately went to work painting. Within an hour, she was done and decided to put on a second coating.\n\nAfter she finished, she returned to the man for her pay. She said with satisfaction, "I not only completed the job, but I even put on two coats of paint! By the way, that isn't a Porsche out back. It's a new BMW.\n\n---x---\n\n# Are You Really Sure?\n\nA blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender, "Wanna hear a blonde joke?"\n\nIn a hushed voice, the guy next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, you should know something."\n\nOur bartender IS blonde, the bouncer is blonde. I'm a 6' tall, 200 lb black belt. The guy sitting next to me is 6'2", weighs 225, and he's a rugby player. The fella to your right is 6'5" pushing 300 and he's a wrestler. Each one of US is blonde. Think about it, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?"\n\nThe blind guy says, "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."\n\n---x---\n\n# Three blonds on death row\n\nThree women are about to be executed for crimes. One's a brunette, one's a redhead, and one's a blonde.\n\nTwo guards brings the brunette forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready . . . Aim . . ."\n\nSuddenly the brunette yells, "earthquake!!" Everyone is startled and looks around. She manages to escape.\n\nThe angry guards then bring the redhead forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready . . . Aim . . ."\n\nThe redhead then screams, "tornado!!" Yet again, everyone is startled and looks around. She too escapes execution.\n\nBy this point, the blonde had figured out what the others did. The guards bring her forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She also says no, and the executioner shouts, Ready . . . Aim . . ."\n\nThe blonde shouts, "fire!!"\n\n---x---\n\n# In the bus\n\nTwo bowling teams chartered a Double-Decker bus to go to a tournament. One group was all blonde one group was all brunette. The brunettes rode on the bottom and the blondes on top. The brunettes we
614053
By far, best blonde joke I think I've ever heard.  (Tt is long, and I have used it before on Y!Answers.)\n\nCertain words have been changed to protect the censors.\n\nOkay so it's Dec. 24th and a postman is starting his walking route.  He comes to the the first house and opens the mailbox and there is a envelope inside that says "mailman" on it.  He opens it, it's a $10 bill with a note that says have a nice Christmas.  He proceeds to the next house and there is a card that says "mailman" which he opens to reveal $20.  He thinks to himself, "Wow, this is going to be a good day!"  He comes to the third house and there is a note: Mailman, knock on the door for your Christmas present.  He knocks and the door swings open to reveal a beautiful naked blonde woman.  She grabs him, pulls him inside and well... anyway, the censors are watching, but you get the Idea.\n\nAs he is putting his clothes back on the blonde woman disappears for a minute into the kitchen and brings back a tray with a huge breakfast on it.  Biscuits, gray, bacon, eggs, the works.  He's like WOW, thanks and proceeds to eat it.  \n\nHe glances at his watch and says, thank you, but I have to get going.  As he is moving to the door the blonde hands him a dollar and says Merry Christmas.  He's looks at the dollar and then at her and says no thanks, 'maam, you've done enough!  She says, oh no, you have to take it, it's my husbands idea.  The mailman pauses, "You husbands Idea?"  "Yeah," she says, "Last night I asked him if I should do anything for the mailman for Christmas and he said, 'screw him, give him a dollar,' breakfast was MY IDEA!"
320625
I'd say I don't have to know any. I can look through the "Jokes and Riddles" section and find at least 50-100.
1055282
haha blonde jokes may be degrading to women but i'm brunette so i don't care! good sh*t man.
446428
How about a couple brunette jokes?\n\nWhat do you call a brunette in a room full of blondes?\nInvisible.\n\nWhy didn't Indians scalp brunettes?\nThe hair from a buffalo's butt was more manageable.\n\nWhat's a brunette's mating call?\n"Has the blonde left yet?"\n\nWhat do brunettes miss most about a great party?\nThe invitation.\n\nokay...okay...that's enough.
83223
a blonde is driving down the highway in her car. she sees another blonde in the field next to the highway, rowing aa boat. she gets out of her car and says to the blonde in the boat, "what are you doing out there in a boat?"\nand the other blonde says, "this is like, a sea of wheat, duh." and the blonde by her car says, "it's blondes like you that make blondes like me look so stupid. i would go out there and kick your butt right now, but i can't swim."\n- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - \n a blonde and a brunette are on top of a building. if they both jump off, which one will hit the ground first?\n\n\nthe brunette, because the blonde would have to stop and ask for directions.\n- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -\n  the pope told 3 nuns to go out and commit a sin. the first nun goes out and steals a car. she comes back to the pope and says, " i stole a car." the pope says, " drink from the holy water and you will be cleansed." so the nun drinks from the holy water and she dies. then the second nun comes back and says, "i robbed a bank." the pope says, "drink from the holy water and you will be cleansed." so she drinks from the holy water, and she dies. then, the 3rd nun comes back and says, " i poisoned the holy water."\n- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -