I think my friend is anorexic.  What should I do?
953893
Confront her in seeking help by a doctor, nutritionist, or counselor. Because starving yourself will lead to many exposure to horrible diseases. Help her through this process because nobody can't do this alone. (Healthy weight range 125-145 pounds for girls who are 5'7")
1090206
You should not tell her to eat. You put her in an impossible position then because she is your friend and she wants to respect your advice but eating is something that is painful to her. And more importantly than what you shouldn't say there is what you shouldn't assume. Anorexia is not the box it is written up to be just as everybody is an individual. There are physical symptoms in common but psychologically many different reasons they are trapped in this illness. Anorexia is not about eating or weight that is a symptom, it is about the persons psychological struggle to feel comfortable in themself. you have to try and be understanding not pressurising, you have to give her space not impose your own idea of what is best for her because getting better from anorexia can't be about becoming the averag e weight - that hasn't solved anything in the persons mind and has wrongly put everything about the disease down to what people think they look like when what they feel like is much more important. I think recovery is all about helping her discover who she is, becoming comfortable in that and letting her know how much you value that person.
136406
She has a good friend. You're kind of in an awckward position to help an overweight friend. If you try to help her to get thinner, she might end up resenting you because she'll think you don't like her.\nRemember that being fat is not a body problem, it's an emotional problem. What you can help her the most is in raising her self-esteem while she remains fat. Tell her "it's Ok to be fat". Well, not in those words. Say "don't worry about what people say, people are very judgmental, and they don't understand that women have issues". Tell her "I don't think you hate your body because you're overweight, I think you have had emotions you haven't resolved yet". That sounds like psychobabble but it's pretty close to reality. You can probably find a better way to say it.\nIf you're just wishing she was thinner, and she's bringing you down emotionally, you need to think of yourself first, also. You might get to a point where you can't take it, and that is OK, you can take a break too.
173987
I am sure that it is important to you that your friend has been able to trust you, so you probably do not want to share her secret and betray that trust.  But anorexia is a very dangerous thing and she will need help that you are not qualified to give her and it is imperative that she receive treatment.  I do not know the extent of her condition, so it could be that she has not suffered significant physical damage yet (hopefully this is the case!).  But even so, she will need treatment, even if it is only counseling, to help her break the cycle and learn how to control her disease.  Try encouraging her to tell a parent, a family member or a doctor.  You could offer to go with her if that would help her feel more secure and if you feel able to help support her as a friend.  If she continues to refuse, however, eventually you must tell someone who can intercede.  Betraying her trust is not nearly as bad as allowing her to destroy her body and possibly kill herself.  You could try contacting the eating disorders hotline at 800-227-4785 for additional advice and support.  Good luck...
157008
Accept her as she is. Nagging or pointing it out to her will not help her. It will actually make her crave eating more. Plus run down her self esteem. Believe me, a person who is over weight knows they are. Until she can come to terms with what is the root of her eating, and when she and only she decides it is time to change will she be able to do so.
795992
give your friend the support a good friend would tell her that it is important to stay healthy and not worry if shethinksshe is fat she sounds like she is just right or a little to thin she should be proud that she doesnt have much bigger issues such as health etc.
63101
If it is not "too late" (i.e. if she's not medically unhealthy), combat it with psychology. She is anorexic because she sees herself as fatter than the models she sees or women she adores. \n\nFirst, stop trying to feed her. That won't help at this stage.\n\nSecond, tell her how beautiful she is. Get her friends to point out good things about her body. Ignore the imperfections. Point out the parts that are beautiful. \n\nFinally, help her be happy to be who she is. Never call her fat, large, don't joke about her doughnut rolls, don't use any of the negative terms you think could hurt her.  \n\nMake her feel beautiful: Try a new wardrobe (that fits her current size, not dreamed-of size) so she won't feel the clothes being "tight" and hence making her think she is "fat".\n\nI could go on, but there are countless resources to help parents. See references below.
106471
Well, she needs to think about taking Iron pills so that she rebuild the iron in her blood and increase the fat cells in her body. She needs to eat healthy foods...not saying she can only eat salad because that would only add water fat to her body and that's not what she needs. You can feed her small amounts of what you cook and over time increase the portion so that you can increase the size of her stomach...and as her stomach size increases you will see a difference in the fat level in her body. Her long term anorexia has stunted her menstral and over time she could see problems with her menstral since it hasn't came in two whole years...she could possibly not have children. The only true advice I can give you is not to rely on the internet for help...take her to a doctor. That's the only thing that could help her.\n\nYou can offer her your love but that isn't all she needs. She needs medical attention. The first step I tell most parents to take is to remove all the mirrors in the house. Not only will it create a mirror free house but she won't be worried about what she looks like constantly. The second step is to tell her she is beautiful all the time...the third step is to slowly increase her food intake...step four is let her know you love her and you accept her and maybe you can move the mirrors back into the house after you see an improvement.
313453
There is a mental state that anorexics work themselves into.  So before you "weigh 80 pounds soaking wet"  there is an issue there that you are recognizing and wanting to address- and that's great!  If your mindset is, "I'm such a piece of **** that I don't deserve to eat," or "No one will love me unless I'm perfect," or "I need to control something in my life because everything else is so out of control," then these are attitudes that need to be fixed- pronto! You are fearfully and wonderfully made, you are loved by God, you have not been forgotten and the Word says that "You are the apple of His eye" (psalm 17:8) and Psalm 45:11 says the king is ENTHRALLED by your beauty..."  I got through my problems through God's grace, and you can too.  Email me or IM me if you need to talk more.
836436
Tell her she's not fat, make sure she knows that you think she looks good, healthy, pretty, that you don't like it when girls are too skinnny and unhealthy looking.  If you suspect a serious problem, anorexia or bulemia, please seek professional help with her.  Good luck!
192225
You guys need to tell her how you feel.  If she does not shape up, then stop being friends with her.
744085
Unfortunately, you're not going to be able to "do" anything but support her when she's trying to recover.  There is more to anorexia and eating disorders than just eating.  It's a control thing and she really needs to be in counseling with a professional and groups...all of those things she's getting.  You can encourage her to go.  Maybe getting her to volunteer with sick kids (those with cancer) might help her realize that her life is precious.  In other words, get outside of "herself" and give to others is very healing.  God love you for being a good friend.
1096831
Wow!  If you talk like this about a friend, I 'd hate to see how you diss your enemies!  Friends are supposed to be supportive, non-judmental and not broadcast the other friend's weaknesses.  The answer is to just speak privately to her.\n\nBe tactful and tell your friend that you are worried about her and why.  Please do not call her a "whore" or not "good looking enough" as you will hurt her feelings and close her mind to anything constructive you might have to say.  Not to mention that beauty is in the eye of the beholder and your opinion may not be the same as someone else.  You might want to tactfully suggest that she seek counseling to find out why she is on a self-destruct course.  There may be some driving force or emotional issue in her past that you know nothing about.\n\nHowever, she is an adult at 19 and is entitled to make her own choices and mistakes in her life so if she rejects what you say, you have to accept it.
951108
There are many reasons why surgery would be a bad idea for your friend,  most have been mentioned by previous respondees so I will not repeat them.  \n\nMay I suggest that you are looking at this the wrong way?  The problem may not be so much how to get your friend smaller,  but rather,  to get your friend to look at the causes of her being overweight.  There are many reasons why a person would be overweight,  either by choice (concious or sub-conscious) or a physical cause.  The most common emotional reasons are:\n\nA fear of being attractive to the opposite sex\nAn addiction to food (could be caused by many things)\nA fear of being "small"\ninsecurity\nLow self esteem\nA desire to be accepted\nA fear of being accepted\n\nand so on\n\nAs you can see,  these are pretty serious things and so I would really recommend your friend spend her money on therapy rather than surgery\n\nThere are also a number of physical reasons why your friend may have weight issues such as thyroid imbalance,  genetics,  hormone related problems,  medication,  IBS and the list goes on.\n\nMay I suggest that it would be a better friendship if you accepted her fully for who she is now and not what she may be if she fitted into societys ideal weight.
93637
My friend is that height, a model and weighs 125.  She's not anorexic looking, just thin and petite.
930160
I suffered from Anorexia as a teenager... I was always tired and cranky. Once I started eating again and exercising in moderation I was a happy girl. Your body needs food as it is fuel for your body, without it you are a tired, cranky piece of sh!t!\n\nTell him to lose weight the sensible way! Eat lots of healthy food and exercise!
966703
Even younger than 13 you need to be concerned about an eating disorder and sometimes parents don't recognize it.\n\nHave a frank discussion with them about your concerns. She could have anorexia or even a growth hormone disorder that needs treatment. If they refuse to listen, one recourse is reporting this to children's protective services in your area for investigation. Hopefully you can avoid that, but the welfare of the child should be the highest priority. \n\nAnd girls are usually about 90% grown when they reach puberty and have their first period.