Ex-husband problems, how to deal....?
959946
this is a tough one.  its hard to find your balance after a divorce.  do you think he wants you back or is he trying to maintain some kind of friendship?  i think you should just tell him.  if he severs contact with the kids then maybe thats not such a bad thing for them.  why should they have to deal with a sometimes dad who doesnt put them first?  if he is that immature then maybe they are better off.  it is hard to make decisions that may do harm on your kids especially when they are too young to truly understand.  my ex does the same thing.  i just limit the contact as much as possible.  also when he calls, you could just put one of the kids on the phone.  eventually he would get the point.  good luck.
1027002
Find someonelse to get him out of your system. \nMen try to be polite and say sweet things to ease you but then women read this compassionate talk as false hope. Honey, it's all BS because is OVER and is been over since August last year.\n\nIf he wanted to be back he would already been back.\nFind some new friends, go to a divorce support group to be able to vent your pain and share experiences with people that have been thru the same. If you keep on holding on you will continue suffering. Realize once and for all that he is not coming back, come one. you are DIVORCED and you don;t have to keep on holding on the candles waiting for him to make his heroic return. Noone is going to give you a medal for being a marthyr...so go out and have fun, you are a newly single gal. He is out ther having fun, so why are you crying at home?\n\nLet go and move on\n\nGood luck.
987389
I have 3 kids by my ex and he went off to Australia with his new wife. He stopped paying and I am fighting him in court (at great cost to myself) but now he wants to see his kids for 4 weeks this Christmas. I KNOW your feelings totally. But you have to carry the burden because children are better off if they have a relationship with their dads. Just dont compete. When they get older they will realise what went on. But equally dont put up with their lippyness. Dont let it go on. Make your ex look after them sometimes so you have some time to yourself. And get on with your own life. Your boys need a possitive male rolemodel in their life (your dad, or a brother or a new husband) Get on, get your life back into shape and make some time for yourself. You need it and so do your boys.
420153
Talk to his wife. If he is getting divorced he may not be the dream guy you think he is anyway. Also I guarentee if you talked to his wife and he knew he would either get teh divorce sooner (freeing him up) or say some really nasty things to you and break your addiction to him.
583278
this is one of the problems you encounter when you get involved with a guy that has an ex and kids. not much you can do. you didn't say how many kids he has but..she won't be able to get away with it forever, plus when he goes to the hearing he needs to let them know how much of a hardship she is creating for him. as far as child support goes they fill out financial statements etc. eventually the divorce will be granted whether she signs or not. aside from that, who cares what she is blaming it on? that doesn't change the reality of anything so don't even worry about that, it isn't worth the energy. if you really love him very much you won't let this come between you, you knew his situation when you started dating him, no point in complaining about it now, just deal with it the best way you can. she will eventually get over it and move on, it could be a long road though so just buckle down and hang in there and make sure he fights for himself and doesn't just hand her whatever she wants out of guilt. good luck to you, it will get better!
816635
hi there right first things first do youre self a favour and do not go back to him he will only continue to use you as a punch bag 2nd stop giving him money he is only going to pour it down his throat and you need all the money you have for youre self nd kids if they are involved ,next start logging every and i mean every call you get from him and every time he turns up phone the plice and get him removed this is going to be a really hard next 6mths at least .....im just starting to get the message through my x husbands head now and i have taken that idiot to court and won ,you need to be really strong and he will play mind games with you and try to get you back but believe me dont you will move on from this and become  strnger woman and find some one how will not use you as a punch bag as he has ....good luck and take care xxxx
1049465
Time to straighten his @ss up girl. Don't take that. When my 1st ex kept hitting me and my family/friends wouldnt help I took matters in my own hands, the last time I went through the wall he went flying through a window. My advice is hit back that shows you aint taking his sh1t no more. If you feel you can't hit back or you're scared look into some abuse shelters for women and if that isn't in question leave and call the cops have him thrown in jail and in the meantime while he's sitting in jail you find a place to go a place he wouldnt know the first place to look. If your family fears him in any way I wouldn't tell them where I was. Get a restraining order or most states have legal assistance and you can nail him with a divorce. Play it nasty "you fear for your life." \nThats what I would of done if things wouldn't of changed but they did after he realized he pushed me too far and was thrown through a window...\nI'm not suggesting you throw him through a window, I'm suggesting that you have him arrested find a place to go that he wouldnt know where to look and get legal assistance.
834875
1. why did he leave you and your children?\n2. have you been intouch with him since to sort out your issues\n3. You shoud never try and win someone back\n\nI have been in this situation before and its so hard to get back on your feet again. But when you see your children you know something has to be done for their sake, so sorting out where things went wrong and coming to some kind of compromise is a start. How you do it is up to you, this is the hardest part because it means you have to face him after he hurt you and your children, make sure your children are not with you for this part they don't need complications, and make sure he is alone, make him make time, after all he turned his back on you, so demand it.\nFriends and family are the best company of course you'll have their full support, surrounding yourself with good positive energies is good for you and your kids.\nMoving on is hard also, but make it a priority, you and your children deserve happiness and so shall it be, bring on the good times, when he sees that you are moving he'll realise that "Hey she can live without me" and maybe then he'll turn towards you and your kids. But don't try and win him back, he'll think you're being desprite, and probably even have a bit of a laugh, maybe even play on it for  while, you don't want that it will prolong the agony for your children, and cause you more energy than he should be for you.\ni hope this all helps I have been there and  when children are involved its important to get it sorted....
71766
Get out.\nFriends or family you can go to?\nI know.\nYou don't know whether to laugh or cry.\nThanks for the response to my cheating \nwife question.\nThat is over and done -\nshe's someone else's problem.\nPsychological problems on your husband's part?\nCertainly sounds like it.\nGood luck!\nRemember - You've got friends you didn't know you had!
712975
She's one of those women who doesn't want the man anymore, but resent it when he is happy with someone else.Your boyfriend (husband) needs to put her in her place.  She has no place in your lives  and HE needs to make that clear to her.  Unfortunately when an ex-wife and kids are concerned there is always madness around.  Been there...done that.  Good luck.
671124
My hubby and I were having mega problems and i was on the verge of leaving... when i finally told him i was leaving and taking our 7 month old daughter, he straightened up right away. We talk about what really bothers us and we fix it... we compromise...every marriage has problems and if people say they dont they are lying! Sit down and have a conversation...nto an arguement ... first decide who goes first... tell what you hate and move on.... then dont throw it up in each others faces after this...just keep it in the back of your mind. For example... my hubby hated when i would gripe about little things like him leaving a dish out.. and i hated when he wouldn't seperate his laundry into the right bin. So we both corrected the problem and we moved on...(this is not why i was leaving.. he had a drinking problem)
554208
Absolutely it is!! He needs to cut the cord, throw away the security blanket and be married to you! What do they possibly have to talk about? Didn't they break up? Didn't he marry you? She can't be giving him marriage advice that is going to have a positive outcome for you. I dealt with the same situation and my husbands ex put him through hell but she still had this "something" over him. Well, after many heart to heart w/my H, I had to take care of it, its like they feel bad for them or something? Remember, you are the WIFE! Who the hell is she? See ya, go away, bye bye! Or my favorite, turn the tables. Find your little black book (you know you still have it, we all do) and start reconnecting with your old ex's - opps, I mean your old friends. Im sure a few would love to hear from you again. Trust me, your H will loose the number real quick. Good luck "WIFE"
982650
Have you and the ex-wife had altercations before?  If that has happened I can see how he would be leery of having you join him in court for fear of another ill-feeling event.\n\nBUT - despite that...it doesn't mean he's 100% right.  The ex-wife should not have control over whether you go or stay and by telling you not to go - he's giving the ex wife control.\n\nYou are his wife and he should trust you enough to know that if you and the ex did enter into an argument in the past...you understand the intensity of this court battle and you wouldn't do anything to jeopardize it.  \n\nTalk to him about it again and assure him you won't do or say anything out of line and express you just want to be able to support him.  If he still says "NO" then leave it alone.  He's already under a ton of stress I'm sure and the last thing he needs is another argument.
976514
your kids will see in time what an idiot their father is being. dont curse him infront of the kids, rant to a friend, dont give your ex the attention he's craving by bringing up this matter, ignore it and be strong for your children. your new partner will have his own feelings about this matter, if he wishes to talk about it then get it out in the open, but avoid talking about this with the kids.
682673
divorce your ex! duh! and tell your new man quick- otherwise he'll think you were trying to hide it from him.
155931
This sounds like a terrible story, but is there a question in it somewhere?\n\nEDIT: Okay, let's try to figure out what the question is.  Are you trying to figure out how you can get your daughter back from your ex-husband?  If that's it, you really ought to talk to a lawyer...maybe you can find a decent one through the Bar Association that will do some pro bono work.  If you just aren't interested in working with lawyers, and you really want to involve this group in something as personal as this, you're going to have to post more details...and more *relevant* details (stick to the facts, ma'am).\n\nIf you want better answers, ask better questions and include more of the important details.  Things people might want to know are these:\n\nAre there any court orders right now?\n\nWhat state do you live in?\n\nWhy did your ex take your child, or at least why do you think he did or what did he tell you?\n\nHave there been any allegations of improper parenting on either side?  Any mental health issues on either side?  Drug use?  \n\nIf I'm guessing correctly at what you want to know, I just don't think you're going to be able to get the answers you need in this forum.
213063
Hey, I know how you feel. I'm the one who told my ex-husband that I wanted a divorce and it took him 2 years to get up off his lazy butt and have it finalized. As for why your ex-husband still acts bitter, I really don't know. MEN!!!