Family recovering from Domestic Violence.?
966267
Let me be honest.  The laws no longer make the victim responsible for testimony, in most states, so she is really quite powerless to change the report.  The DA now has the case and they will be determining the outcome, not the victim.  \n\nYes, people can change, but abusive partners usually don't UNLESS they are agressively prosecuted and receive "punishment" for their crime.  \n\nI won' t go into the long history of how this all came about, but I will tell you it came about because 65% of male/female relationships involve violence.  I, myself, was one of those statistics, over 25 years ago.  I had to leave, or someone was going to die.  He just recently did the same thing to his new wife.  BUT HE HAS NEVER EVER BEEN TO JAIL FOR THE CRIME.  EVER.  \n\nI personally prepared testimony for a Senate hearing committee to have the laws changed where the perp MUST be arrested and agressively prosecuted.  \n\n25 years later I see the damage done to my children b/c the man simply would not keep his hands to himself.  He blames everyone else, especially me and his new wife, but he has never had to face consequences.\n\nI beg you, I implore you, get the help that is offered to you.  Keep your hands to yourself.  If alcohol or drugs figures any way into this scenario, get help for that as well.  \n\nI really would like to see people change, truly, but my sympathy lies primarily with the woman and the children.  They are the vulnerable.\n\nI wish you the best, I truly do.\n\nGood luck.\n\nPeace.
938639
hey man MANY THANKS for being away from family and friends. i had a cousin and his brother in law over there not too long ago and my husbands cousin who had to leave her young 1yr old daughter with us while she left. its gonna be hard but stick in there and you will be sooo proud of yourself when its all said and done. good luck and thanks again for supporting those of us who will miss you while your away. MAY GOD BLESS AND KEEP YOU SAFE THE WAY THROUGH.
393966
If by "mean" you mean physically abusive, then call the police.  There are also organizations, such as the Safe At Home Foundation, that can help.  Look them up in your local phone book or online.  \n\nIf you need further help, feel free to privately email me.  I'll do what I can to help.
975957
this is a pretty serious question you are asking and there are alot of details missing so let me start with this and see if it helps you.  I also grew up in domestic violence, my step father to be specific and back then (early 80's and up until my junior year of school '86) they didn't have much in the way of resources for help, but.... fortunately for you today they do.  I don't know where you are from so it is hard to put up a link for you but I will try. \n \nthis one is a national hotline so it doesn't matter where you are you can call and certainly if you are in immediate danger call 911, if they have stuff on file for the individual who's doing it (the abuse), it makes it faster and easier for them to protect you or the individual going through it.  \n\nNO ONE SHOULD BE HURTING ANYONE EVER!!!!!!!\n\nHere is the link:\n\nhttp://www.ndvh.org/\n\nI hope this helps you and remember none of this is your fault unless you are doing the abusing.\n\nSeek help for you and the others involved in the situation, you may be scared but.... is it worse to continue in the abuse or do something to protect you and your loved ones.  Be strong!!!!\n\nYou are not alone, there are so many people out there going through this.    GET HELP FAST!!!!\n\nI did.  I was 17.  I talked with a state trooper who got an agency involved and I was able to leave home.  I was popular at school, I was a varsity cheerleader, I had a ton of friends and yet I gave it all up to go to a new home, new school and make new friends, all in my Senior year of high school!!\n\nI looked at it this way.... after graduation it's a whole new life start anyway.... so what's one year earlier.\n\nI'm so thankful I helped myself when the people I depended on most couldn't protect me.\n\nGood luck sweetie, let me know if I can be of any more assistance.
76540
You need to get your act together, but you also need to leave if you are that miserable. Additionally, you need to leave if he has hurt you. You have already describe emotional abuse. Has he physically hurt you? If you have family start there. Even if you haven't been close with them family will usually come though for you. There are also shelters (some good and some are not so good), but you can get help there. Once you have gotten away you can get help with getting a place set up. there are community, church, and government programs for everything from relocation to training to child care. It is unlikely that he could get custody of the child unless there are drugs or child abuse on your side of things. It is also, however, unlikely that he would not get visitation. if you believe that he might take the child you want supervised visitation! In any case, keeping your safety in mind you will probably have this person in your life for some time as he is the father so you will also need to stand up to him at some point. But do that when you are in a stronger position and stronger emotionally.
1093595
I would contact someone in the battered womens/childrens services to help you get this information.  Just call a shelter listed for battered women, and they will talk to you.  There is usually one local and you can call them and they will not report you to anyone including your mom.
696018
I think your concerns are legitimate, and I think it's a good idea to consider carefully whether you want to let this abusive man back into your lives.  (I assume he abused you and the kids based on what you said.)  I think that people can change, but you should look for evidence that he is really serious about changing.  Enrolling himself in anger management classes or psychological counseling might be a good start.  Also, I think you have a right to be concerned about the timing of this "change of heart" and it sounds like you feel like he's using you, which sounds to me like a form of abuse.  I'd say, if you need help, get help from a battered women's shelter, an ecclesiastical leader, a counselor, or somebody else who can help you make a wise decision.  Remember to keep your kids in mind when you are making this decision -- think about what will be best for them.  God bless you.
81793
Have you asked them if they would please be quiet? If you do not want to do this--due to fear for your own safety then maybe you should alert the authorities as this could possibly be a physical abuse/domestic violence situation--are there children in the household? Think of the safety of the children if this is the case!
176977
You don't have to do anything.  Just being home with your family will be enough.  As much as you want to be back with them and get back to life at home, they want the same.  Just get home and love them like never before:)  Welcome home!
939984
I agree with Glo. If she hasn't done so already, she should contact her local domestic violence agency. Some have lawyers on staff and others can refer to lawyers who will provide divorces pro-bono, or at a reduced rate, a sliding scale, or with payment plans. I work as a counselor at a domestic violence agency and we have lawyers that we can call in favors with. \n\nAnd don't be too quick to steer her away from legal aid. In our county, our legal aid does a wonderful job with divorces for women who are being abused. They cross train with our agency so that we are trained on legal issues and they are trained on domestic violence issues. It makes them better equipped to go into court and argue for the victim.\n\nBest of luck to your friend and to you as you support her.
957180
You did the right thing. I am so sorry that you were put that abuse. \n\nStay on the right track; and do not allow his words of "sorry" etc let this man back into your life under any circumstance. He is unstable right now and anything could happen. \n\nAlert any and all neighbors if they should see his vehicle around to contact the police. I know that sounds bad; and you don't want your personal issues hung out on the clothes line. But you don't have to give them a reason other than he is court ordered to stay away for serious reasons. \n\nThis man should not be allowed visitiation of the children unless it is supervised either. You need to protect yourself and your children around this man. I would get that in the works as soon as possible.\n\nHopefully he will get some help and this will cease. \n\nStop feeling low about it because you're allowing this man to continue to abuse you by taking on his issues. Be proud of yourself and thankful that you are alive today! Let it go and concentrate on your future. You are strong and I am so very proud of you. \n\nGood luck to you sweetie and God Bless.
857435
Usually the police or District Attorneys office has a victims assistance program that can direct them to the help they need.\nThat is the best place to start, also their local church may be able to help.
45916
I can understand how one tragedy can lead to another. She may be ready to be a responsible parent but, the children may have already suffered irreversible harm especially the son who was beaten brutally. The state and the courts have a responsibliity to protect those children even when a parent is unable to. The courts and social services try to do everything they can to keep the family intact whenever possible. I don't know if there is anything she can do at this point. If she is not currently seeing her children, she can apply for visitation and the courts will decide the outcome. If they refuse visitation that will pretty much tell her that she has no chance to get them back.
914877
Call around to local hospice centers or hospitals. Don't forget about shelters for victims of domestic violence as well or group homes. Working in a group home might help her if she can see people who are more in her age range who are less fortunate than her. Also, check with churches since many of them have soup kitchens for those who don't have a place to go or will be able to help you find one where you can volunteer.\n\nGood luck. I think this is a wonderful idea and anyone you help will appreciate it.
537147
This sounds like a problem that needs law enforcement to follow through with a criminal charge.   I do not know anything about where you live, but it seems to me that there are social services in everystate who will help you recover from the abuse.  Suing someone doesn't always mean a victory in court nor does it mean that you will be healed of your personal pain.   a good therapist can help you work through your pain.
371788
lawyers dont take domestic violence cases pro bono.\n\nyou better start talkin to a lawyer quick\ncuz DV cases dont go away..
887376
1) all things happen in God's time\n2) pray must be for God's will -- in this case IMO for the person to gain the strentgh to pull themselves away from the abuser.\n\nfind out the laws in your neighborhood.  in mine, when i heard my neighbor abusing his wife, i could call the police.  the would come. if they saw anything even resembling a struggle or her disheveled - THEY would press the charges and she would have nothing to say about it.  this way it's on the record and can put her at ease.\n\nGod bless you in your trials and God bless your friend for the strength.\n\nyou must rally around her and give her support. letting her know that walking away is not a failure but rather a strength not shown by many!