how can i bring the spark back in our relationship?
954055
I take it your the male in the relationship.\n\nGive your gf some time, she is only after having your baby, she is probably exhausted from all the night feeds etc etc.\n\nMost women don't feel attractive after having a baby and it has only been 2 months, you need to give her some time in getting your baby into a routine and then finally getting herself back to "normal".\n\nBelieve me, when the spark does come back in, you will know about it,just try to be supportive for a while longer...be thankful that your gf doesn't have Post Natal Depression.\n\nThe arguing is only because you are frustrated and she is tired, try to work together on this, a baby does turn your whole world upside down for a while until you get "used" to having another person in your life, especially one that depends on both of you so much.
1023064
You need to talk to him. The best way to do this is to go out to a quiet restaurant for dinner together one evening. Stay positive but get your point across to him about how you feel. You also need to ask him what has happened, at least in his opinion. Also, talk about the good times the two of you have had together. STAY POSITIVE! This will help both of you. This could be the start the two of you need to open up the talking again. The more the two of you can talk and stay positive, the better the chance you have of saving your marriage! I can tell that you still love and care for him, I wish you luck!
1179698
First, I think it's great that you care enough to ask and not just take the relationship for granted.\n\nNow, how to keep it alive.  Think back to the early days you were together.  Anything stand out from there that you don't do as much?  Whether it be an exciting date, time chatting, finding out new things about one another ... might try some of the old things.\n\nNext, is there anything you all have talked about wanting to do together?  DO IT.  I never really thought much about this, but it the past couple of weeks I have seen people make lists of 100 things they want to do in life, and on the "ellen" show one day, she took care of about 10 of the items.\n\nIt gives a sense of accomplishment to cross these things off and a sense of adventure in trying to create the list and then in planning to do them.\n\nIn fact, what am I doing sitting here at this keyboard, when I should be making out my own list!?! ;-{ )\n\nTake care and good luck!
888016
Yes, my wife and I have experienced the same thing. Before the kids everything was great and after she lost all interest. 6 years later we are still not 100% back on track but things are better. Here are a few ideas that may help you:\n\n1. accept with busier lives that you won't be back to 100%. With kids and their needs your opportunities for intimacy and times of the day to engage are diminished greatly. Accepting is the first part.\n\n2. you have to communicate your needs to each other. If you feel overwhelmed and distracted at home then he needs to help out more and not just on the days/nights he "wants some" or you will just feel used and unappreciated. Together you will have to work out a new, mutually agreeable routine. \n\n3. communicate what really excites you both. Find out about each others fetishes, real turn ons and fantasies if you haven't done so already. Be open to new ideas that might intrigue you and spark some interest again - be willing to slowly step out of your comfort zone and try new things. Make it fun with no expectations attached. Experimentation is often very pleasureable but not always!\n\n4. Devote some time where regardless of what is going on you have time for just the two of you. Maybe it's every Wednesday night after the kids go to bed. You leave the dishes and just do nothing but spend time together - reconnect so to speak. Too often after the kids come along the couple becomes "good friends" and lose that closeness / intimacy they felt when no one else was around. \n\n5. Don't feel guilty if you have lots around the house/work to do and you feel in the mood. Go after it, seize the moment and enjoy yourselves. You can always catch up on the other stuff but it is harder to mend a broken/struggling relationship.\n\nIf you really want it (pardon the pun) you have to communicate, be understanding of how you both feel and truly work hard to come to a solution. Your libido level and his will not change so you have to figure out a plan that will work for you.\n\nGood luck!
1177783
unfortunately, the only way to do this, is while you're around each other....not to wait until you're apart.\n\nask  yourself why you miss her.  what things do you miss?  you want to do little things for her...create little memories, the same kinds of pictures in her head, like she does to you.  you have to cherish her and do 'little things'...she will miss those things when she's not around you\n\ncome up w/ little inside jokes, special things that only the two of you share, and tell her how much you miss her but dont show it (hey--you still have to play the game!) haha...only show her those things when you're around each other...and she'll miss them when you're not around each other!  \n\ngood luck!
991510
That's a tough one, maybe you two can hang out and try to avoid conversations that will stir up feelings from the previous relationship, but then it will seem like they are avoiding the situation, so maybe the best policy is to talk about whatever has happened and ask the person how do they think they can move forward. Maybe they may say they need sometime to themselves or something, or maybe you can suggest to them that they take up a hobby, like exercising, or jogging or something like that. Hope this helps!!!
530200
Try having a baby...you will be 'upgraded' to a parent and that feeling will definitely revive all that jazz...it will also bring you two closer in body and soul.
351718
If you guys love each other then there is no problem with coming together again.\n\nTry to put yourself in his shoes. Probably his work schedule was overburdening and not allowing him the time with you even if he wanted. To top that he had you nagging him with thenegatives (and he is being honest with his feelings about that).\n\nTry and be a little flexible with him and see how you guys could work things so you get a little more time with each other.\n\nAll the best.
583107
Maybe turn back the clock and remember what brought you both together and go back there and re-kindle the flame.*\n\nAfter five years there love there that will never go away.
4278
I sincerely wish I had an effective answer for you. It seems that you've both developed a sense of competitiveness toward each other. In other words, you are both trying to upstage one another. This leads to conflict. Give yourselves more room to breathe for awhile. You will realize how much you miss each other once a few days have elapsed.  If not, seek proffesional advice.  Good luck, dear.
1063590
I think "trial separations" are another way to say "I don't want to break your heart all ant once and get it over with, I want to drag it out for months, maybe even years". Time apart means less time for communication, which means more misunderstandings and more hard feelings.\n\nThe only way you are going to make your marriage work again is by making time for each other, talking about the issues and working thigs out together.  Find a good marriage counselor. If either of you are not serious about it, though, don't drag it out, just get it over with. \n\nIf I may suggest, if you have the money, one of you move out and plant to "date" each other again. Go steady for a few months, find the spark again. But don't "separate" it is just a preparation for "divorce".
1124776
Start of by asking your significant other to go out to dinner with you. Wear something that you know they find sexy on you. At dinner keep things positive and sexy! Talk about the things you did with each other when you first got together. After dinner, at each stop light or stop sign, kiss and touch each other, once home, remove each others clothes then start doing some of those things you talked about at dinner!\nOther things you could do is fantasy role playing, doctor and nurse, cop and hooker, naughty school girl and the principal.\nUse your imagination and think sexy thoughts about each other.\nSend each other dirty e-mails!\nI'm sure this will help you get that lust back.    Good luck
71478
there r ways 2 bring the romance back if that is what u want... u dont have 2 be gone... make ur decision as to what u want and go for it... there are all kinds of sources that help u think of ideas for romance... women love the little things tho... doenst have 2 be diamonds although those r nice 2... start by respecting her and go from there..compliment... do things with her that are yuck like housework... pat her butt when u walk by... cards... poems... notes anything... just do it if u want it back... good luck... i think ur already great for just asking the question... most guys not all never even get that far... they never see the romance has diminished hehe
753623
Try to spice things up by being spontaneous, but if you honestly don't start to feel something then its time to move on. A relationship can't work if you're bored with the person, and if you are still bored after trying to be spontaneous then you should let her knoe because it wouldn't be fair to either one of you to stay in a boring relationship.
438924
Why don't you two try and rekindle the passion by going out one night. Get all dressed up, looking hot....GGo out dancing, see what happens...Maybe its not boredom at all, maybe its something else. Talk to him too!
1026467
Set him loose and tell him do what you think is best. Then you both either do or don't see others while away. If you guys are meant for each other then you will get back together...but in all honesty you probably won't. We all go thru it at some point. It sucks but we get past it.
736638
well, it depends on the reasons it is unlively. Have you grown apart? Have you fallen out of love? Maybe you just need some spark..one good way is to have a date night each week. Brings you much closer together. Hope this helps