And Yet Another Lawyer Joke........?
962144
I really like that one.  I hate lawyers.  They always screw you financially.  That was a good laugh from the belly.  Thank you!
809204
I actually got that one! LOLLOLLOLLOLLOL!!!!! Can you e-mail some other jokes to me like that one? my address is dogloverkm@yahoo.com   thanks!
1055960
~~ACTUAL AUSTRALIAN COURT DOCKET 1265-\nCASE OF THE PREGNANT LADY~~\n\n A lady about 8 months pregnant got on a bus. She noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her. She immediately moved to another seat.\n\n This time the smile turned into a grin, so she moved again. The man seemed more amused when On the fourth move, the man burst out laughing, she complained to the Driver and he had the man arrested.\n\nThe case came up in court. The judge asked the Man (about 20 years old) what he had to say for himself. \n\nThe man replied, "Well your Honor, it was like this: When the lady got on the bus, I couldn't help but notice her condition. She sat under a sweets sign that said: "The Double Mint Twins are Coming" and I grinned. Then she moved and sat under a sign That said: "Logan's Liniment will \nreduce the swelling", and I had to smile. Then She placed herself under a deodorant sign that said, "William's Big Stick Did the Trick", and I could hardly contain myself. BUT, your Honor, when she moved the fourth time and sat under a sign that said, "Goodyear Rubber could have prevented this Accident"...I just lost it."\n\n~~"CASE DISMISSED!!"~~
1183872
Read this joke for a change.....\n\nA couple was golfing one day on a very, very exclusive golf course, lined with million dollar houses. On the third tee the husband said, 'Honey, be very careful when you drive the ball don't knock out any windows. It'll cost us a fortune to fix.' The wife teed up and shanked it right through the window of the biggest house on the course. \n\nThe husband cringed and said, 'I told you to watch out for the houses. Alright, let's go up there, apologize and see how much this is going to cost.' \n\nThey walked up, knocked on the door, and heard a voice say, 'Come on in.' They opened the door and saw glass all over the floor and a broken bottle lying on its side in the foyer. A man on the couch said, 'Are you the people that broke my window?' \n'Uh, yeah. Sorry about that.' the husband replied.\n\n'No, actually I want to thank you. I'm a genie that was trapped for a thousand years in that bottle. You've released me. I'm allowed to grant three wishes - I'll give you each one wish, and I'll keep the last one for myself.' \n\n'OK, great!' the husband said. ' I want a million dollars a year for the rest of my life.' 'No problem - it's the least I could do. \n\nAnd you, what do you want?' the genie said, looking at the wife. 'I want a house in every country of the world,' she said. 'Consider it done.' the genie replied. 'And what's your wish, genie?', the husband said. \n\n'Well, since I've been trapped in that bottle, I haven't made love to a woman in a thousand years. My wish is to sleep with your wife.' The husband looks at the wife and said, 'Well, we did get a lot of money and all those houses, honey. I guess I don't care.' The genie took the wife upstairs and ravished her for two hours. After it was over, the genie rolled over, looked at the wife, and said, 'How old is your husband, anyway?'\n'35.' she replied. 'And he still believes in genies?....That's amazing.'
638481
lmao: laughing my a$$ off
278004
I had to sit on the witless stand in a courtroom once. Does that count? \n\n(now you tell ME...did you laugh with me or at me or neat me? I rest my case. Which is exactly what the prosecuter said when he saw me on the stand)
515916
I love this joke. I've heard it before, but I always laugh at it. Well, my rating is 2970913583563453921569345562598983407 (10/10 for short) I love blonde jokes, have anymore?
412130
old joke.\n\ncat suit
228046
SORRY IF YOU'VE SEEN ME POST THIS ELSEWHERE\n\nThis is a long one, but worth it:\n\nThis guy goes into a bar after a promotion to celebrate with his buddies. Aftr a few drinks he notices, behind the bar, a big jar stuffed with $50 bills, so he asks the bartender about it.\n\nThe bartender replies, "Oh that's just a running bet we have here. You gotta pay $50 into the pot and if you complete 3 tasks, you win the whole jar. As you can see, no one has ever won."\n\nAfter a few more beers and 2 shots of Tequila, the man announces in a slightly tipsy voice, "Screw it, I just got a raise. I can afford to lose $50!" and he slams a $50 on the bar. "OK. What do I gotta do?"\n\n"Well," says the bartender "like I said, there are 3 tasks. First you gotta finish a whole bottle of our homemade 200 proof Fire Water, after that you gotta help my pit bull tied up out back. He's got a sore tooth and you have to go pull it out for him. If you survive THAT, you have to go upstairs and pursuade the landlady upstairs to have sex with you. She's a virgin and she's 106 years old. Raping her is obviously out of the question."\n\n"Fair enough" said the half-drunk man. The alcohol coursing through his veins had emboldened him. "Gimme that Fire Water!" And lo and behold, he managed, to everyone's shock to finish the whole bottle without pause. \n\nBarely able to keep the contents of his stomach down, he was turned and nudged, by the astonished bartender in the direction of the back door, where the dog was tied up outside. The man stumbled drunkenly through the door and bravely slammed it closed behind him. A fierce barking, accompanied by breaking glass, garbage cans smashing, yelling and groaning erupted outside. After a minute or so of this racket, a loud dog yelp, followed by it's whining was heard.\n\nShortly afterwards, the man stumbled back through the door, his clothes torn, blood dripping from multiple bite wounds and looking like he'd been hit by a truck.\n\nThen demanded in a drunken slurred voice, "OK. NOW WHERE'S THAT OLD LADY WITH THE SORE TOOTH?!!"\n\nI'll take my 10 points now.
379970
THERES A PRIEST A RABBI ND A LAWYER ON A SINKING SHIP ND THEY RUN TO THE SAME LIFE BOAT ND START TO LOWER IT DOWN UNTIL THE RABBI SAYS "WAIT! WAT ABOUT THE CHILDREN??"\nTHE LAWYER RESPONDS "FUCK THE CHILDREN"\nND THE PRIEST SAYS "DO WE HAVE TIME?"
571864
lol another funny one lol
1133939
Thats AWFUL! Not the joke, thats quite good but that cheeky minx of a lawyer.
872083
Lol....leave it to Pd to come up with a great joke.  10/10...as always!!!!!
1078036
Joann, keep them a coming, I enjoy these jokes your sending us. I will be passing them along. LOLOLOL *~* lololol
1075324
The blonde and the lawyer\n\nA blonde and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from LA to NY. The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game? The blonde, tired, just wants to take a nap, politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun. He explains, ""I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5.00, and vise versa. ""Again, she declines and tries to get some sleep. The lawyer, now agitated, says, ""Okay, if you don't know the answer you pay me $5.00, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500.00."" This catches the blonde's attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment unless she plays, agrees to the game. \n\nThe lawyer asks the first question. ""What's the distance from the earth to the moon?"" The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches into her purse, pulls out a $5.00 bill and hands it to the lawyer. \n\nOkay says the lawyer, your turn. She asks the lawyer, ""What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?"" The lawyer, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references, no answer. He taps into the air phone with his modem and searches the net and the library of congress, no answer. Frustrated, he sends e-mails to all his friends and coworkers, to no avail. After an hour, he wakes the blonde, and hands her $500.00. The blonde says, ""Thank you,"" and turns back to get some more sleep. \n\nThe lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, wakes the blonde and asks, ""Well, what's the answer? ""Without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5.00, and goes back to sleep.
225083
It all seems a little unreal, he seems to be a little too into himself. It doesn't make sense, why would you spend money on lawyers when its such a pointless case? Just unreal.
847345
awesome joke man....\nheres one 4 ya....\nbe an individual...just like everyone else