My boyfriend has 3 kids by 3 different women. I love him but dont want to deal with all the drama. Suggestions
970600
"I just dont want to be around them or any kids for that matter on a regular basis. "= your man has 3 kids. you are with the wrong person if you do not like kids "85 percent of the time".
299924
she has 3 kids by 2 guys, maybe she doesn't want to make it 4 kids by 3 guys. be happy she has enough self-respect to be honest with u and isn;t given it up cuz she feels she has to just to keep u
294769
If you plan on being a major part of this man's life than you will also be a part of his child's life.. His ex has to deal with the fact that they are not together. You shouild meet her because she has every right to know who he has around her child and who is a part of her child's life. But when you do meet her don't be disrespectful and try to understand where she is coming from. Tell her that you are not trying to take her place. Don't upset yourself(most important) and you really don't want to do anything that would jeoparadize you boyfriend's relationship with his child. "Baby Momma" relationships are hard to deal with because they have a child, they have a bond. If you really feel for him then try your best but his chils should always come first. Good Luck and sorry for wrapping you up!
541788
Ok I completly understand what both you and him are going through cause I have been there and done that, therefor my advice to you is if you really think and feel you love him try to understand his point even if you don't agree or like it very much. What it sounds like he is doing is avoiding having confrontations with his family and you. The less they know the less they will nag at him, they less they nag the better mood you will see him in. Think of it in a positive way he just wants to avoid problems between his family you and him, besides its also a healthier realationship for both of you, never know he may be thinking of taking the relationship a step higher and want to move in together in a few months and when he does he will drop the bom on them, just keep your eyes open at all times giving everyone and anything the benifit of a dought. Good Luck and take things easy enoy your time
911077
This is really hard. The most important thing is not treat the kids differently. They all nedd the same ammount of time from both of you but they need time with you that is just theirs individual too. It's also important that thjey each have their own space and don't feel left out. As for your husband, I would make it very clear to him that he better respect your time with your kids as you do his or he'll be finding himself a new mommy!
218245
ONE THING LIKE YOU SAID YOU ARE THE BOYFRIEND .. NOT THE FATHER YOU NEED TO LET HER DEAL WITH HER OWN KIDS AND YOU STAY OUT OF IT OPINIONS AND ALL.YOU DO NOT NEED TO COME BETWEEN MOTHER AND KIDS IT CAUSES TO MUCH STRESSON THE MOTHER...LISTEN WHEN SHE NEEDS TO TALK . BUT TELL HER SHE NEEDS TO DEAL WITH IT THE BEST SHE FEELS SHE CAN .. AND DONT GIVE HER YOUR ADVICE..KEEP THAT TO YOURSELF....
458098
Deal with it as best you can.  She is a manipulating woman and won't change.  The kids are old enough to come to their own conclusions.  But watch out for the kids playing "mom vs dad" to their own ends - which happens with teenagers.  They will grow.  Let his kids know both you and he love them, and never speak badly of their mom in front of them.\n\nIf you are up to it, a little polite confrontation with her may be helpful (or not), but think about it.  Good luck!
982448
Hi. Look this is a no win situation for you. I know as I've been there.The best thing to do is ask your man to join you no matter what the situation is. Your kids have to get use to the idea that your have a life and you are entitled to be able to get on with it just as they do. They don't ask your permission as to who they date and don't expect you to be in a mood because of it. My partner and i nearly ended up apart when we tried to please everyone. You have to think of you and your boyfriend as he will be there for you when you need him and they wont as they have there own life to get on with AS you have. Good Luck and Merry Christmas and a happy new year
621621
From reading your other questions about the three children and the dog. I can see tell that you must be overwhelmed to the point that a movie with another man might be tempting, but I don't think you need the jealous husband issue on your plate right now with all you've got going on.  When my first son was born a girlfriend told me this: \n"you will hate your husband for 3-4 years because they just don't get how much help you need. Stick it out it will pass". \nMy kids were 22 months apart and my husband was traveling with his job alot sometimes I thought it was easier without him.  I did hate him laying around  on the couch taking off to go fishing and stuff like that. Then having the nerve to wonder what was wrong with his sex life! but I stuck it out and it did pass. So Im passing it on to you. You pass it on if it works for you too.\nThese things also helped:\n1  Get as much rest as possible.\n2  Get out on your own for some exercise a couple of times a week alone if possible I started walking to loose the baby weight and to look for my sanity. If you have to take the kids not let the 5 year old ride a bike or scooter and you can push the babies in the stroller. \n3   Subscribe to a parenting magazing for tips on discipline at various stages of development hitting and yelling only make things worse in the long run (like the 5 year old hitting). \n4   And the really hard one is get out on a date with your husband even if it's only to your patio for a beer after the kids go to sleep.  With 3 kids you you need each other for support.\nI also found that I needed to get back to church when the kids were tiny that's a personal choice but we need all the strength and support we can get to do this mommy job.\nThis very demanding stage of parenting will pass and you'll be thinking ..wow I survived that! Bet you never dreamed you could do so much with so little sleep. But make these years count, keep your priorities in line, get all the love you can in those babies now and it will pay off later. \nPS I'd get rid of the dog untill the baby is in school. you don't need any more work.
1046616
I honestly think he's over it.  is reactions to the other people are natural ones.  I would be the same way.  Doesn't mean he loves you any less.\n\nthis may sound weird, but when these issues come up, assert yourself more.  MAKE him pay attention more to you.  Do soemthing special for him to remind him of just why he's with you and not her.  Make him happy and never give him any reason to think there's weakness in your relationship.  The stronger you make it out to be the happier and more secure he will be.
200797
First of all does he love your kids?  Think about your kids first and not you.  I mean that is a bit harsh but don't you want a great father for your kids and for you?  And then, think if he can help you in the long run?  Is he going to be there when you need someone the most, is he willing to take the challenge to be with you or not? And about the 4 kids thing talk to him about it.  Tell him that you do not want to have more or if one day you both get married then you both can have one.  But a relationship is based on many factors too just not love.  There has to be a strong communication between you both and understanding.  If you feel that this guy can be that special someone then risk it.  You can never expect too much from someone else.  Think about yourself and your kids first.  Good luck.
533077
This is a situation that takes lots of time and consideration. I know what you mean I'm in the same boat. I'm 23 with 2 kids and I love my husband dearly, but there is one old boyfriend who makes my heart skip a beat but I know that we weren't meant for each other or things would have happened differently. You love your husband, if you didn't you would've left him by now. The only thing that's different now is the new guy. My advice to you is not to tear up a family of 3 years just because the grass looks greener on the other side, because it never is! Women are hopeless romantics and we would do almost anything to be swept off our feet and ride off into the sunset with prince charming on his white horse. But if you were to leave this man of 3 years what would be different with the new one? Three years from now will be the same story. You have to learn how to make things in your current relationship stay fresh and vibrant. You have to keep the flame burning. When a fire starts to die you just add more wood. Not wait till it burns out and then start a new one. Trust me, if both of you work at it and you keep open and honest communication between you and your spouse you will have a relationship that is almost unheard of now a days!
189954
oh no, your in for it now. I won't go back with him or else you might have lots of drama. I know I've joked around a bit in here but for all seriousness. Your boyfriend will be pissed off and you'll never hear the end of it.
419446
i think its wrong that a man that has FIVE children is dating someone other than the mother of those FIVE children. \n\nfind a man more YOUR speed!
613499
In a situation like this one good move to make is to sit down without and distractions and talk things through. He will probably accuse you of not trusting him but reassure him that you do it is just uncomfortable for you to know about these other girls. If he loves you or even remotely respects you then he will understand. If he does not understand then he is not worth your pain and suffering. Your life is what you need to focus on and not how your actions will make others feel. Make yourself happy first! If this is upsetting you then talk to him and confront the issue before it gets to far and to in to it. Just go slow and politely and it will work if it is meant to be. Just have an open mind but a firm grip on your feelings.
708383
are you aware that not everyone has baby momma/daddy drama in their lives just because the parents aren't together.  are you secure with yourself?  if not then don't date someone with children. it's ok and don't worry about it, lots of people fee lthat way.  some people just don't like kids. but if you do decide to date some one with childen, then you have no choice but to deal with it.  that parent gets visitation with his/her kid/s and it's not about the mother/father or you.  they're divorced for a reasnon.  would you rather the parents didn't get along and the child to suffer for your insecurities? and what about the child that may not care for you, thinking you're trying to replace the natural parent? the relationship between child and parent is important, none of anyone business (unless it's abusive) and not about you.  lot at is as a positive, the parent is able to visit the kind at the kids home with maturity and knowledge that the kids mother has moved on.
473539
I went through a similar situation and I made my BF talk to her about her pushiness. She no long calls at 6 am so thats good! You should not complain to much about his family though as they are and will always be in his life. You should be calm and explain to him your feelings! Good luck.