Need help with an overbearing mothering mother in law?
961192
Tell your husband either he says something or you will. You're an adult and don't need anyone telling you what to do. And if you're the one to say something, his mother is not going to like what you have to say. You're tired of this crap and will put a stop to it.
1113427
I'd tell off my mother-in-law! \n\nI'd tell her it is NOT okay to hit me, it is not okay to put me down in front of my children, her son CHOSE me so she needs to forget aout his ex, she needs to stop saying she wants to fins him a new wife, she needs to stop lying, she needs to stop steeling my things, especially my underwear, and she needs to keep her nose in her own business. I know hoe to keep my man happy, while hers is walking out the door every month becuase he's fed up of her. If she's not careful, one of these time's he's not going to come back.
455235
What you wrote sounds like my story. I've got the same problem with my mother in law. My husband really appreciates that I act like I'm stupid. \nI refuse to drop down to her level and when she is really mean to me I just smile and nod. Sometimes I think she tries her hardest to piss me off, but I won't give her that joy.\nFor your husband it's probably best to ignore the situation and play along like you all get along. It's not worth splitting up families over. You may regret it if your husband decides to choose for you and stops speaking to his mom.\nBe happy she doesn't live IN your house. \n\nStay the respectable party and don't let your feelings show! I know this is tough but it's the most peaceful way. Good luck, don't let her drive you mad, you've got the upper hand!
748209
Remember this is your battle with the inlaws not your sister in law's.  Do not make her choose sides.  Be happy for her that she has a better relationship with them than you do because I'm sure you wouldn't wish what you are going through on another.  Maturity is called for here.  Stick to your guns for yourself, don't expect other's to choose sides.  She sounds like she's attempting to be neutral.  If you don't like hearing about what's going on with them, simply ask her not to go into detail about them or what they do or don't do.  Keep your friendship.  That's more important than allowing the in laws to drive a wedge between you two...and likely, that's what's happening.
442060
Do you know that 7 in 10 women do NOT get along with their mother-in-laws?\n\nI'm also one of that 7...it doesn't get easier but there are ways of dealing with them.\n\nGo buy "Toxic In-Laws" by Susan Forward, it helped me understand & deal my MIL & FIL better...they can't be "fixed" nor will they change.\n\nThere are also several other books out there dealing with this topic...just look up "Toxic Inlaws" on Amazon.
1168703
speak to ur husband then get police involed......get her away from u she jealous and obbsessed
638099
Some jitters and questioning are normal and I do not think you are over the top on that. There are things you may want to change about yourself by not nagging as much. All men are moody and only you know if you will be happier with him. The mother in law issue could bring real unhappiness and she is way over the top. I have to ask myself why he would tolerate her screaming at you. You are marrying a family as well as your husband.
812101
Sounds like shes got some deep seeded issues, marrying a man that is 4 years older then her son.  The kind of mom that secretly hopes her son will walk in while shes dressing or something... eww.  Sorry you have to deal with that, but it sounds like at least you have someone with whom to share this unfortunate experience with, namely your new sister in-law.  I'm sure the two of you will be able to help each other.  \n\nMommy dearest needs to realize that you didnt "take him away", he probably RAN... and the only person to blame is the one that stares at her from the other side of the mirror.\n\nGood luck geting that through her head though... as sad as it is, help is for those that want it, NOT those that need it.
1037857
Wow,,, that does sound pretty disgusting the way you worded it.  It often appears that the mother in law and daughter always seem to have competition going on.  I am not really sure why and it getting rather old.  You and this quy have been together 20 plus years and there is still tension between the 2 women he so obviously adores.  Being a woman you know how to add fuel to the fire or put out the flames...Try taking the higher road and leave it be.  I have another tool you could use as well... It is called PRAYER... the most powerful tool out here.  God sees all that is going on and He knows how you feel about it.  He also knows how your husband feels as well.  Can you imagine how excited he will be to see his 2 favorite girls interacting without foolishness.  Pray about it and leave it be...
843177
You are a good mom and my heart goes out to you, that's horrible.  Well, you have to pray for starters, ask God to take care of this for you.  And LISTEN.  That's the best thing you can do for those kids is let them vent, let them have a comforting place in your home......sounds like you provide that already so good on you.  That woman needs some serious couselling.  I'm afraid she won't change unless she decides to OR unless everyone involved can clear their head, be ready and strong, and STAND UP TO HER TOGETHER.  She's picking on her daughter because she can, that's what bullys do.  It will be hard but if you all stand together and tell her her ways are unacceptable, she may get worse for a while or she may not speak to anyone for a while, but she will be forced to think long and hard about it.  From there, the choice is hers.  She does not have the right to cause this much grief to all of you and she needs to decide to stop, or spend the rest of her life without you all.  Your son and daughter in law are blessed to have you, good luck.
532171
Your mother-in-law is a crazy b*tch. There are a lot of them out there like her unfortunately. My advice is let her know real good that your tired of her crap and that she needs to take her problems elsewhere, not out on you. You might have hell to pay because of standing up for yourself but it sounds like your living close to it already. Your husband is never going to take your side. You might as well get used to that. You have to make the decision for yourself if being married to him is worth all of this. Just remember, if he doesn't know how to stand up for you that doesn't mean he has the right to tell you YOU can't stand up for yourself.\n\nDon't believe this garbage that people tell you that you should just grin and bear it and deal with it the best you can. They only say that because your a woman. They wouldn't say that to a man. If you know something is wrong don't go with it and never give up on something you believe in without a fight. If he doesn't stand by your side in the end he's not worth it.
829206
your husband is the one that needs to put his foot down! tell him what is going on..and that you would NEVER put up with this kind of behavior if it were your own mother/sister. \nyou married him, not his mother...yes she is part of your family but she doesn't and shouldn't have a say in YOUR life together. \nhonestly i would look to move away! * that's what i encouraged my husband to do when we got married. we moved my mother in law to Hawaii! * \nif your hubby won't put his foot down then your going to be the one to say something. it may be hard, but YOUR HIS WIFE! that car you borrowed is YOURS as much as it is your husbands...you need to stand up for yourself.\nbe firm but cordial, and tell her that you understand that she loves her son very very much, but so do you. and you are his wife. \nhe is a grown man, and you two want her to be part of your life, but you don't want her controlling it. tell her that you feel like she doesn't like you, and that your trying your best to be a good wife to her son. but you will NOT let her make you feel guilty about the decisions that you make together as a couple. ask her how she would feel if HER mother in law butted in the way she did? \n\nperhaps talking w/your father in law might help? or a brother in law?
960233
I try to keep my mother in law out of my relationship as much as possible,
199923
Although you can't force her to do anything, I would strongly urge her to seek help.  This is not normal, and if she goes through with it she will hurt a lot more people than just her and her husband.
641139
It's your mother. Screw other people and what they think.  Move her into your house and let the brother in law and husband fight it out with each other. You and your mom can watch from the sidelines.
298277
Sounds like to me you need to tell that busy body mother in law to unleash your husband from her apron strings,she sounds like she is your problem,of course your husband cant see this its his mom.Some men are always momas boy ,until they see it for them selves that dear old mom is breaking his home up .don't let her insult you ,let him get mad he has a life time to get glad.you are his wife and the mother of his children I'm sure you cook for clean house and wash his clothes so where is the respect you so much deserve.if mom is all that and then some maybe she should do all this for him.she sounds like a mean 2 face devious spiteful woman who is out to ruin your marriage.stand up to her don't let her ignorance ruin your home put her in her place and tell her to stay there.if your husband doesn't have the guts to tell her then its up to you.....
267799
I have had 2 mothers in law.  I was equally nice to both at the beginning.  I wanted to make a good impression.  The 1st one HATED me.  But then her son was a spoiled cry baby and she never wanted to give him up.  He's 40 and still lives at home.  The 2nd one LOVES me.  Her son is a MAN.  He treats me well and we have a lovely family.  I think it depends on several things.  Whether the mother has any intention of ever giving up the son.  Whether the son has enough spine to stand up for his wife.  The wife needs to accept "helpful advise" in a kindly way.  Say "Thank you, I'll consider that.  I appreciate your help".  Treat your mother in law how you would wish to be treated.  I think it comes down to what type of person she is.  I thank God for my new mother in law.