Moving on From a Four year relationship?
954010
If you don't feel ready to date then don't.  When me and my ex broke up about 2 years ago (we've been together for a year)  I didn't want to date anyone for a year...and I didn't date anyone.  It's up to when you think you are ready to date again.  It's different with different people.  Some people heal faster than others.  But in the mean time you should keep busy.  Do things that you like to do.  After we broke up, I did a lot of volunteering.  That made me feel good because I was helping ones in need and it made me realize that things could be a lot worse than breaking up with a boy/girlfriend.  So just find things you like to do and keep your good friends around because they can be a great help as well.  Most importantly don't date until you are ready.  Don't let your boys pressure you into dating because that could make the your situation worse.  Well I hoped that helped.
434965
If you are fighting all the time and you truly feel that there is no fixing it then maybe it is time to end things. It will certainly not be easy but in the long run I think both of you will be happier. I don't recommend, however, jumping into a relationship right away with the girl that you have known for a long time. Take some time and be single for a while. If the girl you have known for a while is truly someone you would like to be with then wait until she won't be just a rebound girl. Go out and have fun and give yourself time to get over your five year relationship.
1058963
Now my spouse makes me feel complete. It only took 30 years. All I can say is you have to compromise. If you fight, you can't leave , you can ignore each other until everything cools down. I watched my sibblings leave their spouses time and time again, they always went back. That was time wasted. Work things out. There are no 2 people perfectly compatable. You have to work at it. Even now , we are not even 80% compatable, but there was no way, even 10 years ago that I was gonna start over. You probably found the right person, but how would you know , now? Good luck.
729277
First of all look at your ages, at this point in time you need to concentrate on your career goals and may be think of getting married after about 2 years from now, your partner is right in wanting to wait as long as both of you are commited to each and love each other and know that ull are not goin to leave each other its fine. You are getting frustrated cos u have been going around for 4 yrs and theres nothing new in your relationship u have dicovered each other so much. Patience is the word, just wait for sometime and things will be fine.
1059137
Stacy,\n\nWhen you've spent as much time with someone you love as you have and during that time also struggle together through various dependencies then even those struggles become things we tend to hang on to, despite the bad times associated with them. They become a connection to what we learn to perceive as our own reality so we hang on to them because we find hope or security in them even when that apparent reality is in fact not healthy or secure at all. You've made changes in your personal life obviously to discard some of those dependencies while your significant other has not. Yet you hang on to the one dependency that in the last 5 years has been a constant in your life and that is him, his very presence of being there close to you, touchable and reachable. You still see each other, you sleep together and you do this because you choose to look past his unwillingness to change. Why? Because for you, despite the past, you still try to find hope in a situation that seems to never offer any in return and you can't see yourself either giving up or drastically changing your life to leave it all behind. Maybe this is because you feel you have put so much into it and because by still being with him in certain ways it allows you to believe it may all change. Or, maybe you're just afraid to look to a future of starting over and rebuilding your life without him. Starting over can always be a scary proposition for any of us and just taking the first step is the most scary of all. Not unlike when a child pulls themselves up to the coffee table and for the very first time takes that single step without holding on. We risk falling down but if we measure our risks to minimize the fall then we find security in that and pull ourselves up and take another step. Reading all that you've written and having somewhat experienced similar situations I would be inclined to believe that for you to move on, as you want to do, you truly need a whole new start. New surroundings, new friends and new opportunity and again in my experience I've found the best way to do that is to put distance between myself and the past somewhere new and start fresh in life. Maybe this is for you too or at least something to consider. Scary thought? Sure it is but for someone who's obviously been through as much as you have then I suspect you're a strong young woman who is more than capable of doing so. I will hope for the best for you and should you need a friend in the future then all you have to do is reach out.\n\nBest Wishes Always
1168260
well its up to you, you can always turn a blind eye, but the problem is not going away.  you will always will have trust issues with your boy friend.  I know its hard when you have been with someone for four years but maybe get rid of the looser and find someone who can give you the respect and trust that you deserve.  kick his a$$ to the gutter so he can have all the affairs he want, and just move on.  Believe me, there are plenty of fish out in the sea that can treat you so much better. good luck and I wish you well. ; )
606738
I am sorry to say but when one of you moves on it will make things alot easier. I was in a similar situation and my g/f was stealing my limelight. She was prettier and cuter and it was tough on our relationship. If you can move on you will find a huge burden in your relationship ease. \nMy g/f moved on and I got employee of the month less than two months later.\nI wish you the best.
172038
you guys have been together for four years.  im sure that you can talk to him. you need to find out what's happening with him.
338658
I don't think what you are going through is all that much different than what most of us go through when we lose someone we really care about.  A year may sound like a long time but it really isn't if you really loved someone.  The problem here is that while you know the relationship is over, you haven't really put it into its proper place in your life.  The memories are not going to go away and since a lot of them are good memories there is no reason to want them to go away.  So treasure those memories for what they are and that is some really happy times that are part of your past.  What you have been doing is letting those memories control your life.  Memories are very strong things and over time they actually gain strength because the details are blurred and all you focus on is the best parts of them.  This means that when you compare them to current situations they always seem so much better.  The reality is that they really weren't.  You have just chosen to not remember the bad times or the parts that made it more ordinary.  You need to stop living in the past because nothing is ever going to compare to memories that have all the bad stuff removed.  You need to realize that you deserve to be happy and the only way to do that is to let the past be the past and make new memories and stop constantly comparing your current life to those old memories.  Trust me, we all do it but we all find that in reality there is a lot more to life and always more wonderful memories to be made.
881729
So you got tired  and bored of your booty call.  You really need to be straight fourth about it.  There is never any easy way to break up with someone but to be honest about it.  You always run the risk of her telling your 10 year long partner.  Just say something like you feel you are being unfair to her to continue in the relationship.  She deserves someone that can be there all the way and you can't.  Your feelings are not what they should be to continue the relationship that you have together so you have made up your mind to end it.  Good luck!!
1111749
If you are not willing to make any changes or leave the relationship, you have to accept what you have always accepted. When you are tired of accepting it and it continues, you will find that familiarity does not make a relationship (in other words, not wanting to leave because you've already stayed five years is not reasonable).
624303
It depends why you moved ? If one of you needed space , then no .As that is an waking call . If it was because of money then yes because it's hard at first to get things in order .Enjoy dating each other .Too many people jump into Relationship just to feel not alone .Being with someone once in awhile is perfect for some people .It's nice to think about someone and look forward to seeing them ,instead of everyday unless you've decided to get married .Then hopefully you'll keep the smile each day when returning home .
356663
no not yet. they have been together now for 4 years and they say are very happy with the way things are now.
73685
it takestime to heal from a broken heart. it took me awhile to heal from a 4yr relationship. i was cheated on for 3 of the years. maybe if you give him space he will eventually call you back. when he does explain to him that it was a mistake to break up and want him back. if it was meant to be, it will happen. give him time. good luck and hang in there.
75374
That happened to me and it was the end of the relationship.  We met in college, had a long-distance relationship, then together for several months, then she moved 4-5 hours away after getting fired and getting a better job.  She wanted to marry, or at least live together openly, while I knew I couldn't marry her (too neurotic, too much fighting) and tried to hold on to the passionate girlfriend/boyfriend relationship indefinitely.  So it had been a holding pattern for several months, and her moving didn't really change it.  Soon she told me of reciprocal interest with a co-worker, which in retrospect I think was trying to drive me off, but I didn't bite and was actually friendly with the jerk.  Finally she said, "I think we ought to cool it and date other people".  I was in shock, but I remember what came out was, "You mean you want to break up?"  I don't remember what she said but the upshot was I wasn't going to share and she didn't try to work out a sharing arrangement.  Eventually she married the jerk.  I got an invitation to the wedding but I never answered and broke off contact.\n\nSo through the lens of my life experience, the relationship is on its last legs and you're looking for the kill.  I think the more honest and humane approach would be to present an ultimatum to get off of hold or break up, or just leave if you're not committed enough to force that issue.  It may seem cold, but it's better than getting into the jealousy thing with other guys.  I know being left for another man was much harder on me than being left out of general dissatisfaction, and it killed my interest in follow-up friendship (that part might be a blessing).  Someone else's story might have a different moral.\n\nGood luck,\nhouyhnhnm
470976
you have to accept your nature firstly, that you cant stay far without been involved in a relationship.\nIf you really love your ex boyfriend talk to him to relocate , if this cant be done.You face the reality of   starting all over again,  take your time and plan of settling down in your new location.\nPlan    what you want in the future,its better you stay in a location and grow than  rather to stay for  a short time and move again, you have to really consider this before starting  another relationship.\nSo concentrate on how to build yourself economically ,socially and   how to settle  down in your new environment.\nIf you decide to stay a very long time you can  now give  your toasters   the opportunity to know you properly and you decide who you really want.
1149386
After three years it is clearly over. Time to move on and leave the girl alone now. Try to get out more with friends and build a new life for yourself then in time you will feel ready to meet someone new. Good luck.