HELP!! My in-laws are Right Wingers, what can I do?
967367
join them and stop being evil
912924
Our family is split. Four Democrats and Four Republicans. And one that flip flops. I don't hate them and they don't hate me, but some of them hate each other. My brothers have already got into a fight about politics and it almost came to blows. I guess it just boils down to we all think we are right. If I believe that abortion is murder my brother believes it's a woman's right to chose. I can't change his mind. If I say we should give businesses tax breaks because businesses use that money to create more jobs by buying more capital, then he says that businesses just pocket the money. How do you convince someone that doesn't want to see the truth? It makes me angry that Democrats can't see the big picture. But maybe they see it the other way around. i don't know. The hate is definitely there, but I don't see it coming mostly from the Republicans. It comes from an uneducated, self-loving, and disillusioned group of Democrats.
88168
My mother in law was the same way.  My husband didn't want to get involved because he said it was like a soap opera.  But then he did get involved and we no longer talk to his side of the family.\n\nYour husband needs to get involved for the sake of your marriage. She needs to tell you why she acts like that.  Most likely it's the same old thing of she feels like she is loosing a son.  Hopefully she would be willing to talk about it.  I started with a very polite letter but face to face would be better.  Work out a way that she can continue to be part of his life if that is what the problem is.  But your husband needs to support you!\n\nWe would e-mail and I showed my husband everything.  She would also yell at me on the phone and then tell him I was yelling at her.  He figured it out.  We went through counseling and she couldn't even be honest there.  So that is when we both said enough and don't have any communication with them anymore. You have to do what is best for your family.\n\nProof is always the best but your husband should trust you there and be willing to work out a solution.  But if your mother in law won't talk about it there isn't much you can do but avoid her.  But don't let it affect you. I ended up having major heath problems because of the stress.  It's her problem not yours!
343651
I would start learning your husband's native language seriously. Show some respect by at least trying to learn his culture (by learning the language first). He will be so impressed by your willingness. Let alone your in-laws! And also, it is OKAY to remind (or tell) them occasionally to please translate the jokes in English. Or tell your husband that you like to get involved in the discussions and have him translate it for you once in awhile. \n\nAnd some insider, it is not that easy to have somebody speak in English (or whatever language you both share) every single time when English is not even their native language (this goes to the man. So appreciate him even more).
35515
I feel very sorry that your family is living this way.  I am putting some links here that should be able to give you a place to start.
667923
Be the mature one about this situation and put an end to it.  Talk to your husband and tell him that you don't want things to be like they are and you feel that your mother-in-law and father-in-law should come over and have a family discussion.  You start off the discussion by saying to your MIL "I'm sorry that your feelings were hurt...I spoke out of  anger when I said I didn't want to see you again and was just venting."  Then explain to your MIL and FIL that you want the family to all get along but there need to be some changes because it really hurts you when your MIl __________________________________  fill in the blank with what she does that bugs you.  That way everything is out in the open, you apologized and showed you are trying to work things out. (Mind you, in the back of your mind you'll be saying...look B+tch, I'm just doing this to make my husband happy...but, she doesn't need to know that.)  Good Luck.
1068701
the problem between liberals and conservatives, is simple ,while liberal minded people point out the inequities of those who earn less and work harder , conservatives feel as though they have earned what they get .\nConservatives by virtue of always following the rules and path laid before them do so blindly without a care in the world never noticing they have a distinct advantage.\nAS an older American who watches T.V. and reads news reports i have noticed that the media talks down to people .This gives me a headache and in trying to point this out and other simple facts I run into conservatives who try to insist everything is fine with the country except for the liberals who are trying to destroy america. They point out that marriage is between a man and a woman and that is fine with me ,but giving married people rights that others do not have is wrong and i point this out.\nI get the usu-all responce that it was adam and eve not adam and steve responce .\nThis was not what I expected from an intelligent person \nI wanted to hear you are right and how can we make things fair for couples who want to raise a family.\nI get but adam and steve can not have a family only adam and eve.\nTO this i point out how many children in america have no parents at all and live in foster care, an impermanent situation that leaves children wondering always when they will be accepted as permanent members of  a family and know they are loved for who they are .\nA family consists of a domestic group of people ,typicaly affiliated by birth or marriage or by comparable legal relationship.\nIN a nuclear family the typically female  memeber of the family stayes home and raises the children ,and should the marriage fail she is provided for and so are the children.\nNOW when a same sex partnership breaks up only the person who has adopted the children legally has any rights .\nThis leaves the member of the family who raised the children and was there all the time for them watching over them and protecting them every day with no rights at all if they are not the adoptive member of the family.IN- fact they are not intitled to support or visitation or any rights granted in a marriage.\nI say to my consevative friends which i have only a few casual relationships with how do we do something about this and the responce is they had no business being togheter in the first place.\nThis i can not accept and it is wrong for anyone to tell another how to live and what relationships work and what ones do not.\nTHIS is the major differance between liberals and conservatives is we accept that rules need to exsist for the benefit of all mankind but mankind is not limited to living a life following rules that restrict his freedom of choice in who he may live with or the rights he is granted or denied because of sex this is discrimination .Two people apply for a license to marry and the rights there-in  agreed upon by the state to regognize and give equal weight to both parties and the benefits offered in accordance to taxes and rights of children to remain with there family.ONCE you make this a choice only offered to people of different sexes you have created discrimination and this is wrong.CONSERVATIVES will never accept this and this is why i beleive they are idiots cause faced with plain simple facts they can not see the truth .IF you asked a kid what is 2+2 and he had no answer or kept on insisting it was 7  you would say the boy is touched after you teach him that 2+2=4 . this is my feeling about conservatives is you can point out the truth but you can not make them drink.IF you wish to be considered average then leave governing to the people who know better and are smarter then you.although i see you put your-self above average americans.this means you see that i am right and discrimination is wrong and gays should have equal protection and rights under our laws.IF however you do not agree i must insist you accept that you are indeed average and allow the smarte
818525
My daughter who is a democrat is happily married to a die hard conservative. They don't talk politics.\nThe key is that you respect each other. If you cannot agree... agree not to agree and get on with life.
116053
mostly in-laws are hard to get along with each other.  some reasons are both sides are so insecure with each other.  u are in the center.  dont take her side or your family side be in the middle.  did u ever talk to your mom if she knows any reason why your wife is treating them like that?  u can talk to your wife and tell her that your family is not comfortable that the way she treats them.  but dont be sound like you are taking your family side.  she might freak out and start an argument.  its really hard if your family get invloved with your marriage.  sometimes u feel like u need to choose between them.  but i'm pretty sure u both love your family and your wife.  u dont want to hurt any of them.  u have to talk to them.  u dont have to leave your wife u just need to talk to her about that problem.
865717
Remember that mother in laws had mother in laws too.  If you get along with your mother in law, then just act normal, have fun and allow her to make the main decisions; it is of course her kitchen.  Accept her suggestions with grace and all should be fine.  If she loves to cook, she already knows what has to be done, so ask her when you get there, what she would like you to cook - whether its the potatoes, cranberries, etc.  And if you are not sure how to cook them, ask her, make her the center of the cooking and don't try to make it a competition.  Good luck
174945
Well, if the son-in-law is a bum, parents tend to not like this.  They want someone who is going to be a good husband for their daughter, and a good daddy for their grandchildren.\n\nI'm going to go ahead and assume that you are referring to yourself.  If you would like to get into the good graces of your in-laws you need to start by being a responsible adult, and have a decent job.  I'm not sure if English is your first language or not, but regardless, it looks as if you could benefit yourself, and family by going back to school, and getting an education.  This will go a long way in appearing responsible to them, and getting yourself a better career.
863960
Ask them what they need and do that. \n\nJust be a helping hand.\n\nListen.\n\nChuck Swindoll talked about how he helped an older woman when he was a cabbie and she was moving into a "home." Google him and look for his sermon from a couple weeks ago if you want to hear the story. Not a religious ploy just a good story.
828805
Well, you've got to do what you've got to do, but be prepared to alienate (at least) your brother-in-law and his wife.  It sounds like he is very self centered and, I would bet, the boss in his family (strong type A personality).  I don't know where it will stop, but there will be a lot of really stinky stuff floating around-and may never dissipate.  A person with his personality will definitely blame you for the problems that arise.  From what you have said he thinks his time is far more valuable than others and, therefore, will not understand your anger.
1068237
honestly, it's tricky when dealing with in-laws and even siblings.\nmoney will ALWAYS get in the way.\n\nit sounds like you guys were doing a great job at being family by doing things for each other...until the furniture.\n\ni would be firm and explain that there was no agreement for payment for your wedding services or their truck services...so, all these situations are exclusive from each other.\ntell them that you guys feel you are asking a reasonable price and if they don't want it for that price, then that's o.k. and you'll find someone else!\nbe kind and courteous about it, but don't feel that you are obligated to take a financial hit for family.\n\ni would prob make a family price a little lower than i would a stranger price, but they shouldn't haggle with family...that's poor manners.\nif they can't afford it, then suck it up, explain it's out of their price range and go find something else!  \n\nif they want to throw a fit, then they are the only ones looking selfish.  you guys look like you're trying to help them by selling some furniture.\n\njust be firm and now, you know how they view favors...for the future.\n\ntake care.
755606
Just don't go all "Meet the Parents" on them! Try not to discuss politics or religion, although don't let them beat you down into agreeing with something you strongly object to. Take spare makeup and things in case you feel the need to touch-up, and if you're wearing tights take a spare pair. This probably won't make all that much difference to your in-laws, but it'll make you feel more confident. It's hard to strut your stuff when you know there's a big ladder on the back of your knee! Oh, and dare I mention it... if you think you might be on your period take 'supplies' - every girl knows how embarrassing it is to be caught out! Don't wear heels that are too high, too, in case you fall...\n\nBasically just be yourself. I know people say that all the time, but if you act like anyone else they're going to be very surprised when they get to know you better, and they might not think you're a very honest person.\n\nGood luck, I'm sure you'll get through it fine!\n\nTigerwolf x
690258
I am sorry to hear that...you don't need to change for people and besides if they are like that anyway then they are still going to bi*ch about you anyway no matter what. You need to stop doing so much for your inlaws if that is the gratitude you get. I would let them know that you know they were talking behind your back without getting out of control just say I would appreciate it if you have an issue to confront me with it. It's not nice to talk behind people's back because it doesn't leave them with an opportunity to respond...which is actually the answer to one of your q. in this. They don't want you to get mad at them. It's not always the way but with certain people like this it's 'the more you do, the less you're appreciated'. Nice to know there are thoughtful people around like you but some others take it for granted. Don't worry too much about what your colleagues say about you just do your job and don't get involved with them too much. You don't want to be like them just think you are a better person for not being so immature and feeling it's necessary to talk behind their back. Take care :)
989976
Marry, you need to look it up and learn something. You are right they are nothing alike the Repuglican party has been taken over by fanatic Christians, extreme right wing Nazi like people. That will be their downfall though when it all catches up with them in November.