Wanna  hear  the  joke  , about   the   male patient?
968850
I have heard this one before and it is still the funniest joke I think I have ever read. Thanks for sharing..
1166262
ROFL read this one...\n\nA man traveling by plane and in urgent need to use the men's room is nervously tapping his foot on the floor of the aircraft. Each time he tried the men's room door, it was "OCCUPIED". The stewardess, aware of his predicament suggested that he go ahead and use the ladies room, but cautioned him against using any of the buttons inside.\n\nThe buttons were marked "WW, WA, PP and ATR". Making the mistake that so many men make in disregarding the importance of what a woman says, the man let his curiosity get the best of him and decided to try the buttons anyway. \n\nHe carefully pressed the first button marked "WW" and immediately warm water sprayed all over his entire bottom. He thought, "WOW, the women really have it made!".\n\nStill curious, he pressed the button marked "WA" and a gentle breeze of warm air quickly dried his hind quarters. He thought that was out of this world!\n\nThe button marked "PP" yielded a large powder puff which delicately applied a soft talc to his rear.\n\nWell, naturally he couldn't resist the last button marked "ATR". When he woke up in the hospital he panicked and buzzed for the nurse.\n\nWhen she appeared, he cried out, "What happened to me?! The last thing I remember is I was in the ladies room on a business trip!"\n\nThe nurse replied, "Yes, you were having a great time until you pressed the "ATR" button which stands for Automatic Tampon Remover... Your p*nis is under your pillow!"
567944
hahaahha thts a funny one man ...hhaahahah...nice one!!!keep it going...
789845
ok...This is a really sick joke, and I don't like it.  People are probably going to get mad at me for it, but you asked for it so here it goes.\n\nJesus Christ walks into an Inn.  He hands the Innkeeper three nails and asks, "Can you put me up for the night?"\n\nI'm sorry, sorry, sorry, but I was just answering the question(or request).
503716
Mental?\n\nJohn and David were both patients in a Mental hospital.\nOne day while they were walking past the hospital swimming\npool, John suddenly dove into the deep end. He sunk to the\nbottom and stayed there. David promptly jumped in to save\nhim.  He swam to the bottom of the pool and pulled John out.\n\nThe medical director came to know of David's heroic act...\nHe immediately ordered that David be discharged from the\nMental hospital, as he considered him to be okay.\n\nDoctor: We have good news and bad news for you, David!\nThe good news is that we are going to discharge you because\nyou have regained your senses. Since you were able to jump\nin and save another patient you must be mentally stable.\n\nThe bad news is that the patient whom you saved, Mr. John hung\nhimself in the bathroom, and died. David replied, Doctor he\ndidn't hang himself, I hung him there to dry.
1036139
i just received this joke from a text message..\n\nthere is this boyfriend and girlfriend..\nbf: "hon, let's do 69!"\ngf: "what is 69?"\nbf: "it's easy.."\n\nthen they positioned theirselves..\nwhile in that position, the boy farted 4 times..\n\nthen the girl reacted and said "omg! i cant do this anymore! i cant take anymore the remaining 65!"\n\nlolz..
585920
A man goes to the doctor and say I can go to the toilet or get an erection. \nSo the doctor say try these laxatives and this Viagra for one week and come and see me again.\nSo the man comes back and the doctor says how was it and the man says it worked great.\nBut now I don't know whether I'm coming or going!
431962
A nice REFRESHING joke. LOL
361833
Barry returned from a doctor's visit one day and told his wife Doreen that the doctor said he only had 24 hours to live.  Wiping away her tears, he asked her to make love with him.  Of course she agreed and they made passionate love. Six hours later, Barry went to her again, and said, "Honey, now I only have 18 hours left to live. Maybe we could make love again?"  Doreen agreed and again they made love. \nLater, Barry was getting into bed when he realised he now had only eight hours of life left. He touched Doreen's shoulder and said, "Honey? Please? Just one more time before I die." She agreed, then afterward she rolled over and fell asleep.  Barry, however, heard the clock ticking in his head, and he tossed and turned until he was down to only four more hours. He tapped his wife on the shoulder to wake her up.  "Honey, I only have four hours left! Could we...?"  His wife sat up abruptly, turned to him and said, "Listen Barry, I have to get up in the morning! You don't."
301720
It is a pleasure if done by male doctor
503177
ROFL\n\nheres a joke for you\nA man traveling by plane and in urgent need to use the men's room is nervously tapping his foot on the floor of the aircraft. Each time he tried the men's room door, it was "OCCUPIED". The stewardess, aware of his predicament suggested that he go ahead and use the ladies room, but cautioned him against using any of the buttons inside.\n\nThe buttons were marked "WW, WA, PP and ATR". Making the mistake that so many men make in disregarding the importance of what a woman says, the man let his curiosity get the best of him and decided to try the buttons anyway. \n\nHe carefully pressed the first button marked "WW" and immediately warm water sprayed all over his entire bottom. He thought, "WOW, the women really have it made!".\n\nStill curious, he pressed the button marked "WA" and a gentle breeze of warm air quickly dried his hind quarters. He thought that was out of this world!\n\nThe button marked "PP" yielded a large powder puff which delicately applied a soft talc to his rear.\n\nWell, naturally he couldn't resist the last button marked "ATR". When he woke up in the hospital he panicked and buzzed for the nurse.\n\nWhen she appeared, he cried out, "What happened to me?! The last thing I remember is I was in the ladies room on a business trip!"\n\nThe nurse replied, "Yes, you were having a great time until you pressed the "ATR" button which stands for Automatic Tampon Remover... Your p*nis is under your pillow!"
729822
Well... I ran to the bathroom after reading these...\n\n *Two old ladies were outside their nursing home having a smoke. When it started to rain, one of the ladies pulled out a condom, cut off the end, put it over her cigarette, and continued smoking\n\nLady 1: What's that?\nLady 2: A condom. This way my cigarette doesn't get wet.\nLady 1: Where did you get it?\nLady 2: You can get them at any drugstore.\n\nThe next day Lady 1 hobbles herself into the local drugstore and announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms.\n\nThe guy, obviously embarrassed, looks at her kind of strangely (she is, after all, over 80 years of age) but very delicately asks her what size.\n\n"Doesn't matter son, as long as it fits a Camel"\n\nThe pharmacist fainted. \n\n\n\n\n   *A police officer pulls over a guy who had been weaving in and out of the lanes. He goes up to the guy's window and says, "Sir, I need you to blow into this breathalyzer tube."\n\nThe man says, "Sorry officer, I can't do dat. I am a asthmatic 'n if I do dat, I'll have a really bad asthma attack!"\n\n"Okay, fine. I need you to come down to the station to give a blood sample."\n\n"I can't do dat eeder! I am a hemophiliac. If I do dat, I'll bleed to death!"\n\n"Well, then we need a urine sample."\n\n"I'm sorry officer, I can't do dat eeder. I am also a diabetic. If I do dat, I'll get really low blood sugar."\n\n"All right then, I need you to come out here and walk this white line."\n\n"I can't do dat, officer."\n\n"Why not?"\n\n"Cause I'm drunk as a skunk!" \n\n\n\n\n*A blind man walks into a restaurant and sits down. The waiter, who is also the owner, walks up to the blind man and hands him a menu. "I'm sorry sir, but I am blind and can't read the menu. Just bring me a dirty fork from the previous customer, I'll smell it and order from there."\nA little confused, the owner walks over to the dirty dish pile and picks up a greasy fork. He returns to the blind man's table and hands it to him.\nThe blind man puts the fork to his nose and takes in a deep breath. "Ah, yes that's what I'll have, meatloaf and mashed potatoes." Unbelievable, the owner says to himself as he walks towards the kitchen.\nThe cook happens to be the owner's wife and he tells her what had just happened. The blind man eats his meal and leaves.\nSeveral days later the blind man returns and the owner mistakenly brings him a menu again. "Sir, remember me? I'm the blind man."\n"I'm sorry, I didn't recognize you. I'll go get you a dirty fork." The owner again retrieves a dirty fork and brings it to the blind man. After another deep breath, the blind man says, "That smells great, I'll take the Macaroni and cheese with broccoli."\nOnce again walking away in disbelief, the owner thinks the blind man is screwing around with him and tells his wife that the next time the blind man comes in he's going to test him. The blind man eats and leaves.\nHe returns the following week, but this time the owner see's him coming and runs to the kitchen.\nHe tells his wife, "Mary rub this fork around down your pantys before I take it to the blind man." Mary complies and hands her husband the fork back. As the blind man walks in and sits down, the owner is ready and waiting.\n"Good afternoon sir, this time I remembered you and I already have the fork ready for you."\nThe blind man puts the fork to his nose, takes a deep whiff and says, "Hey I didn't know that Mary worked here?" \n\n*A 5-year-old boy went to visit his grandmother one day. Playing with his toys in her bedroom while grandma was dusting, he looked up and said, "Grandma, how come you don't have a boy friend now that Grandpa went to heaven?\n\n"Grandma
503013
A guy who was in the Air Force had just spent a year tour unaccompanied to Shemya, Alaska. The first night he got home, he exclaimed to his wife, "Honey, I want you to know that I haven't wasted all this time alone. Instead, I've mastered the art of mind over matter. Just watch this!"\n\n\nAnd with that he dropped his trousers and shorts and stood before her in his altogether.\n\n\n"Now watch," he said. Next he said, "Dick, ten-HUT!"\n\nAnd with that, his dick sprang to full erection. Then he said, "Dick, at EASE!"\n\nAnd his dick deflated again.\n\n"Wow, that was amazing," said his wife. "Do you mind if I bring our next-door neighbor over to see this? It's really something else!"\n\nThe guy responded that he didn't mind at all, since he was proud of what he had accomplished. So the wife goes next door and comes back with a delicious looking woman who got this guy's full attention! After a brief pause to take her in, he said, "Now watch this." Then he said "Dick, ten-HUT!"\n\nAnd the dick sprang to life. Then it was "Dick, at EASE!"\n\n\nBut nothing happened. So the guy again said, "Dick, at EASE!"\n\nBut still nothing happened. So the guy now says,"For the last time, you son-of-a-bitch, I said AT EASE!!"\n\nStill nothing. Well, the guy was embarassed and ran off to the bathroom. His wife made excuses for him and then joined her husband in the bathroom, where she found him masturbating.\n\n"What in the world are you doing?" she asked.\n\nThe guy says, "I'm givin' this son-of-a-bitch a dishonorable discharge!"
786658
the joke is pretty dirty. so go to this website\n\nhttp://www.dirtyjokesinc.com/joke-dirty_jokes-14479.htm
677015
That's a good one!\n\nHow about this one:\n\nA man is going away for a business conference, and he wants to make sure his wife doesn't cheat on him.  So, to keep her happy, he goes into a sex toy shop to get something for her.  On the "Specials" counter, he sees a dildo-like thing called "The Voodoo Dick."  He asks the salesman to show him what it does.  The salesman says, "Voodoo Dick, the doorknob!"  The Voodoo Dick flies across the room to the doorknob and starts screwing it, hard.  Eventually, the salesman says, "Voodoo Dick, that's enough!"  The Voodoo Dick stops and flies back to its box.\n    The man is impressed and buys it.  Right before he left for his conference, he gives it to his wife and tells her how to turn it on.  A day later, his wife is bored.  She says, "Voodoo Dick, my pussy!"  The Voodoo Dick flies over and starts screwing her, hard.  She is amazed, but she can't last forever.  Eventually, she is done and tries to take the Voodoo Dick out.  She cannot figure out a way to get the Voodoo Dick out.\n     In a panic, she drives to the hospital, the Voodoo Dick still screwing her.  Because it keeps moving, she is unable to drive straight.  A policeman pulls her over and says, "What's the matter?"  She says, "A Voodoo Dick is screwing me!"  He says, "Ha!  Voodoo Dick, my ass."
624166
this joke is SOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOLD!\n\nThe surgeon is his mother.  Quit watching so many Cosby Show reruns.
951609
he's sick & trying 2 get attention..\nignore him