Why won't my son and his wife give us a second chance?
963624
You are doing all that you are able to at this time.  Please keep up with the cards and letters.  Let him know that you love them very much and miss the whole family. \n\nMy daughter did this to me for six years.  Then one day earlier this year she just called me and asked me to come over.  I didn't even know where she lived at that time since I was not allowed to have her address.  We have gotten very close again, and this is the first Thanksgiving in six years that she is in my life.\n\nI kept calling my daughter to let her know that I loved her, and sent cards to her dad's house since I didn't know her address.  I never gave up.  I suggest you do the same thing.  Let your son and his family know that you will always be there when he wants to see you.  \n\nGood luck with this - sometimes it just takes a while.
1109737
I may not be the best one to answer this question but here goes. Give up and move on.. You gave him a chance and he proved he was not ready. I was given the same chance but I made good on what was needed of me. I gave up the drugs and booze. I asked myself what I wanted out of life, what kind of parent I wanted to be. I asked what my children needed. I took a vow and made a promise. I ran from responsibility my entire life. I am sick of running. Life is not fair or easy, we have to accept this. We have to find the little things in life that provide us with some sort of happiness and learn to be gratefull for these gifts. Then we must love and nurture them, for they are gifts on loan that can and will be taken from us at some point. If you tell him good-bye for good maybe someday he will learn and at least return to be a good father. You and your children deserve better. If you want some real help try droping my wife an e-mail, she has been there. Good Luck, my prayers are with you.
202572
Please Show her Love be there for her but tell her that you want tolerate this behavior in you and your sons life again atleast give her a chance to correct her mistake.you may still be mad at her but be there for her let her know that you still love her and that you want your family back dont desert her.thats what the devil want put God in your life more than ever know he can help your family with God all things are possible if you have faith.Know is the time that you remember your Marriage Vows.SICKNESS AND HEALTH THROUGH GOOD N BAD.GOOD LUCK
616528
Sorry to hear of your problems. My 2 oldest sons have a step mom & dad. It gets hard but over time it's been the best thing ever. My boys weren't aloud to call me mom in front of him. After a few months of being remarried, the step mom put her foot down on that subject as well as a few others. Her & I have went out with the boys & spent the day together. With the dads was very hard for my boys at first. My 2nd husband would try to hard & it pushed them away. Once he realized this he started talking to them like he does to our daughter we have. Now they call him dad,ask his opinion on things & have much respect for him. But only pointing only the things that are wrong on the kids part is damaging. They will think they are nothing but screw-ups & will cause problems in the years to come. Tell the man to tap into his boyhood along with the kids & just let loose. Ensure him he's not always wrong,but he has to let them be kids to. Let him know that he needs to compliment them on good things to earn their respect.Hopefully things will get better because no man is worth loosing your children over. Good luck my friend. In our families, the STEPS are blessings.
611904
The law is the only way to handle these matters.*\n\nThe process through the courts may be slow but if you keep trying time will come around and the kids know you love them because you never give up trying to get them back.
785230
happened to me too. now my son is 26 and he has is own kids to support. and they can't touch his sperm donor (ex husband) because he hid out long enough to get away with it. Funny they didn't mention it was gonna go down that way until it was all ready over and done with.
484529
Give him a second chance since you are married to him.  Marriage is actually a life long forgiving and acceptance cycle.  Remember, none of us are perfect and all of us can falter in one way or another.  Try to find other good qualities in him which you may miss if you keep reminding yourself of this one incident. God bless!
332464
Honey, it's a tough situation all the way around. You both need to find a way to sit the kids down together and have a full blown disscussion. The kids are going to need reassurances from both of you that you both will still be active in their lives and that what is going on is not their fault. Both of you as parents need to make sure that both kids know that they can count on you and come to you whenever they need to. If it were me,as a mom of 3, I would put aside whatever has caused the seperation and call a meeting with my kids and my husband and do exactly as I said above.
650601
We all make mistakes in life, but we all deserve a second chance.  Good for you that you want to do the right thing and be there for your child.  I don't know your situation but if you did not legally sign a waiver giving up your parental rights, you have rights.  The Internet is awesome for resources, look for free legal service in your state for parental/custody rights.  If you know of woman shelters in your area, they sometimes can also direct you to someone for help.  God be with you & good luck.
688607
I'm afraid you're stuck.  In the court's view (and mine too), you helped make that child, and, thus, are responsible for helping raise him.  Your ex's response to you, however, is mean and vindictive.  Someday he will find out you are alive and wonder why she lied about you.  Continue the child support for your son's sake.  At least then you can say that in spite of the meaness of his mother, you still did everything you could to help in his rearing.  He will someday understand that it was his mother that forced you out of his life and that it was not your decision.  If you stop child support to spite her, you will hurt your son as well.  If there is to be any hope of a relationship between you and your son when he is eighteen (then your wife can not longer stop you legally), you do not want to hurt him in any way or give your ex any more fuel to use against you.  Be the better person and then stick it to her when you tell your son the truth when he is eighteen!!
729422
You've done something pretty bad I take it, and here is your first problem in trying to get your wife to give you another chance- you keep calling whatever it is - a "mistake". Big no no.\n\nYour wife wants you to accept full responsibility for what you did. Say "I was wrong", etc. Calling it a mistake is minimizing your role in it. Like maybe you "accidently" had sex with another woman, or punched her, or gambled away your kids college fund, or whatever.\n\nI don't know what you did, but your approach to get her back is backfiring on you. I know from experience.
347789
My advice is to sit down and talk with your wife. Find out why she left you and try to resolve the problem. If you do get it resolved, your kids will listen to you and your wife. If it doesn't, talk to your kids. Find out why they went to stay with your wife and inlaws. Agian, try to resolve the problems. If those problems can't be resolved peacefully with your wife, get a lawyer so you can have time with your kids too. It's not fair to you to  have to sit and miss your kids who you love while your wife gets to see them all the time. You should both have equal rights to see them.
1130966
my husband has a child with his ex that is one month older than ours. IT IS HARD. but i love my stepson as much as i do my kids and i have always told my husband i would never come between him and his other son he even stays with him when he is sick and just got back from a week long trip with his ex wife and son it was for his son medical reason but i wouldnt have it any other way. Just becase he has a child already dosent mean yalls wont be as special this will be his child with YOU the woman he loves and that will make all the difference trust me and if you need anyone to talk to im here and know excatly what you are going thru just email or im me.
45765
Wait one second please YOUR HUSBAND IS PERFECT? Then why is he not taking care of HIS son and protecting the woman he loves? Talk to this perfect husband and tell him what the doctor said. It is time your husband takes some control over his son, you don't say how old the son is so I can't say much more. Talk to your husband and get his help with his son.
187652
why not? everyone deserves a second chance...
1143503
Oh,Honey do I know how u feel!I am going through the same thing as I write.In fact I go to court this Thursday.Let me tell ya,it's very,very hard to deal with.Whether u did something wrong or not doesn't make it any easier.I'd like to tell u about my situation and how I deal with it,but this site does not allow enough space.If you want to talk more about it e-mail me @ kalasmom3@yahoo.com Or IM me @ either yahoo messenger or AIM.I'd love to try to help.Maybe we can help each other.Also,since I have almost 18 months in one child's being gone and 7 years in the other maybe I can offer some advice on how to fight to get them back.oh,my screen name on AIM is turntheclkbac.
759077
You and the ex need to set your issues aside and discuss how you are going to raise the son, putting his best interests first. He is playing you both, that's what kids do, even in homes with both parents. You have to decide on a course of action and stick with it, consistency is one of the most difficult things but shows the child you both mean business. Let your ex know that you're interested in his help, but he needs to stick to the plan. You need to support one another in this. I hope you are able to do this, or the son will continue to go back and forth until he's on his own. It won't create a stability within him - be responsible, not emotional and talk w/the ex. Hope it works out. You can do it!