Married women: My wife gets depressed every year at Christmas time.?
962774
Take her somewhere... plan a special day.  Make it all about her.  I get depressed during winter because it's always so cold and gray.  Just try to brighten her day a bit!
787867
I am SO sorry that you are going through this right now.  Your wife is definitely addicted to the internet and needs help.  However, she can't get help if she can't admit that she has a problem.  You need to document all that you know and all that you have.  You should also have your hard drive analysed in case a judge might need some proof.  \n\nSince you have had suicidal thoughts, you must know that you have depression.  Please get help for this and get medicated.  You're not going to be able to do this on your own.
862876
That is a good question! I have had it happen to me all my life and have never understood it. My Mother-in-law for instance treats my wife like a step child and her other two daughters like true daughters (kind of reminds me of Cinderella). What scares me most is that I might be doing it to my kids as well - I really try not to be that way and they have never said anything to make me think I have any favorites - but, it still concerns me. The thing is that these people (when you bring it to their attention) do not see that they are acting this way. One of my biggest hang ups is Christmas - buying gifts for people that I could care less about. Well, guess what? This year, we are not spending on these people - not even a token gift. I am in the dog house for it, but I am going to concentrate on my kids and grandkids who I love and cherish - I am going to let the others celebrate without me this year! It makes me feel free, and my wife is warming to the idea, but she is having withdrawal symptoms. I say no more of the fake behavior to impress these duds.
173176
Your wife is not talking probably because she is trying to "process" what she's just found out; I'm sure it was a big shock.  The best thing you can do for her right now is just be supportive, listen when she is ready to talk, and let her know that you will support her in any therapy or medications she has to take to get better.  Never ever down her for taking "crazy pills" like my ex-husband did when I was diagnosed with major depression.  Don't push her to hard right now, just love her, hold her and reassure her that you stand behind her 100 percent, no matter what happens.  God Bless the two of you and I pray that she finds the right help she needs.  This is not the end of her life, she can function quite normally (as I have done) with the proper medication and counseling.  Good luck.
67505
Getting involved in church activities and church members MAY help. Counselor may help. \nShe may be going through a stage. She may just be changing her lifestyle and like the person she is.\nTell her you love her, but cannot live with her lifestyle. If she doesn't come to her senses, let her go. You cannot change a person. Ask divorced people.
935528
Wow...my husband could have wrote this...\n\nI have been married seven years (have two children ages 6 and 2) and have become separated (haven't filed for divorce yet)...for me the sex was always bad (and I do love it...which is something he would never believe).  I will say you do a lot more than he ever did but it doesn't sound like you guys are going down the right path...you are not doing anything wrong, it is her.  I know you love her but you have to stop most of the things (the dates, flowers, etc...) they are just a waste right now...she is a full time housewife so the fact that she is not even cleaning etc... sound to me she might be depressed (how is she with the kids)...she sounds like me almost 100% (I should mention that I work FULL TIME...always did since my kids were 3 months old both) but instead of watching tv till 1am I would rather play poker or be on the computer (which pisses him off)...for him I am always tired he says, but when it comes to other people or things he says I have energy...which I guess is true.  \n\nYou're gonna have to sit her down and have a really good talk with her or go for some marriage counseling before it is too late...\n\nE-mail me if you want to talk...
493375
I just came back from Iraq, depressed and full of anxiety...  My experience has been, don't push her to hard let her go easy, find an unexpensive hobby that won't produce too much stress, I found that working with plants has helped me very much, some times to be alone does help.  Plenty of water, rest and fruit also helps.  Try not to do to much phisical work, especially out in the sun.  And fianlly,  read some texts full of live and promises from the Bible.  Not the 60's version but the new simeple English version does wounders.  Help you get well.
728836
i am so with you but part of mine i think is because i am kind of depressed and i have no cash..   but the holidays have become all about money   you have to buy for this person or that one and if you decide to not buy for someone they get you a gift so you feel obligated ect and as for turkey day its just as bad i have it at my house and no one gets along and most of my family doesnt want to help they just show up eat and leave  i hate the holidays i cant even make my self decorate anymore... and thats sad because i can remember as a child my favorite thing was to sit on the couch with the x-tree lit in the dark and just think about how calm and quiet and peacful it was... bla im turning into the scruge
799267
My wife asked me tonight, "What is Christmas to you...what is it that gives you that Christmas feeling?"  I told her it was the whole "O Holy Night" scenario that does it for me.  Knowing that God loves the world so much that He gave us a Savior born in Bethlehem.  And after some discussion, she said, Can you imagine how empty Christmas must be for atheists?  Being married to a woman who is concerned about how empty Christmas must be for atheists makes it about as merry for me as it can get.  I was moved to tears. I'm so very thankful for my wonderful wife.
530403
It's Postpartum Depression.. The best thing to do is for her to take medication. HOWEVER, some women would think that people think they are crazy when they are asked to take medication.. So just do not push her too much and give her time and space. \nIt's all part of being a woman. :)
922507
It depends. If the woman has kids, she gets stressed out more by her kids all high on Christmas for almost all of December, so for mothers with little kids, it's Christmas. If their mother is coming for one of the holidays, sometimes they get stressed out about making the perfect meal for their mother. Some people go to others for the holidays. They don't get stressed out about the holidays. It all depends on the circumstance. If she is a woman with no children and staying home for the holidays, then I agree with you and it is Thanksgiving.
10019
Man, I have the same problem.\n\nWith mine, she's clinically depressed, and even though she takes medication, whenever she gets down, she spends money to make herself feel better.\n\nShe doesn't have to buy anything for herself...just going out and shopping, and spending gives her like a "high."\n\nI dunno what to do about it.  I've limited her access to money, but that gets to be a pain.  I would much rather trust her completely.
804679
Oh Honey I know what you mean. We had to cut down on gifts big time this year.The giveing of gifts is out of control,and the costs are outragius. You children I would say yes to getting for,but the rest you have to cut down on. I too know the true meaning of Christmas And do undrestand what you'r saying\nOh well we have both vented and I hope you feel a little better...I do (LOL) Happy Holidays to you and yours.
425783
okay first off, you have been married for 25 years so you should know how to be the sensitive husband by now. First off she just had a major surgery. Second her hormones are going crazy and are mostly likely non existant.  Finally she may be suffering from depression.  reproductive hormones are chemicals, just like many chemicals in the body their is the master system that tries to regulate them.  While many times outside sources (think toxins) can affect them, inside sources (such as deficiencies) can affect them but most of all they are affected by stress.  That is why stress is such a powerful advisary and while people with less stress are healthier and happier, becuase their chemical bodies are too... everything that happens in your body is the result of a chemical process.\n\nthe best thing that you can do is drop the sex talk, thoughts and conversation. Take any pressure off of her.  When you talk about it, persue her or ask about it is just reminds her that she is broken, makes her feel like that is your focus and reinforces her internal stuggles.  Drop all aspects of it for like a solid week... be very supportive and open with her discussing other things, specifically how she is feeling, what she is thinking and so on.  heavily encourage discussions, meetings with her women friends as most often they will not open up enough to deal with it to a man.  Women just have different communication some times.  I would say if you can keep this up for two weeks and she isn't doing any better in the attitude/ outlook/ perspective department (not the sex dept) then suggest she see a doctor as she may be depressed or suffering from traumatic stress... \nthis is what I would suggest.  But if nothing else back off of her and sex other wise it will only make it worse..
983461
I stopped enjoying it as a teenager.  I never have any money and I feel bad when my family gives me expensive gifts.  More than half the family has died, is in a nursing home or has become estranged so it's not the same anymore.  Thinking of the past makes me sad.  Drunk drivers worry me on every holiday.  I start getting stressed before Thanksgiving and it doesn't let up until New Years Day.  I usually wish they'd go away but I also wish I could just relax and enjoy them. - Oh yeah, I think about suicide (seriously) every time I see a Christmas related commercial/program on TV.
750567
It sure is the normal for me,I hate the holidays ever since my kids went to live with their mom,nothing but sad memories for several years now,oh well.Wish I was the only one.
393426
Sounds like she's feeling limited and confined by her lifestyle.  She may need some activities where she is in a role other than wife (and mother - if that applies).  Does she work outside the home?  If not, she might want to do so, or perhaps do some volunteer work.  Or maybe there are some activities/interests/hobbies she's given up or always wanted to try - encourage some of those.  She may even want to take some classes.  \n\nThe only way to find out what's going to be appropriate for her is to talk it out.  Don't feel threatened by her evolving as a person, you can't possess a person and if you try, it will backfire.  So have faith and revel in the experience of watching her become revitalized.