why is my husband not spending time with my son?
965153
I am not a cna, but I did work two to three jobs which kept me away from home.  I just wish that I would have listened to my son and daughter when they asked me to stay home with them instead of leaving all the time.\nMy daughter is 38, and my son is 37.  I could kick myself a thousand times, because now my son is stationed on the East coast and I do not see him often as I would like to.\nI see my daughter because she lives in the same town where we live, but I do not get to see my son that often.  \nI just hopes that your husband wakes up, before it is too late because in his later years he will regret it.  \nHe can take it from a man that took his job too serious, plus drinking during that time did not help at all.  \nI know from a man's experience by you talking to your husband, because my wife used to talk to me about it, and I did not listen either.  \nMy son reminds me of this when he has a couple of drinks under his belt, but I cannot bring back the mistakes that I made.  \nI hope and pray that he does not fall into the same category that I am under.  I think about it everyday, and I know that you cannot turn back the clock.  \nThis is a honest answer from me.  I am not asking for sympathy, I just hope when your son talks to him, he will stop and listen to what he is saying to him.\nGood Luck to all of you.
1146049
You're joking, right? You are definitely not asking too much for your man to spend the little free time you both have without the kids together. Are you set on going out or could you perhaps "ramp" him into spending time together starting with an intimate evening at home? Next time you can remind him you two stayed in for him last time so it's his turn to accommodate your wishes.
269385
if u havent been spenidng time with ur child... seriously TAKE AN OFF FROM WORK! play with ur child!! show him/her how much u Love him/her!!and have a great time!!\ntake care !
516061
this sounds like a difficult situation. I think you two need to sit down, and really discuss what each others goals are.... and get a feeling for how important the relationship between you two is. Having a child makes things more difficult, for he is probably both of you twos priority, though I commend you at asking for that shows you care about this relationship working. relationships take time well spent, and work.. and if both people are never around to communicate, and spend time together, it will probably make things difficult certainly.
243481
maadidi, My little boy is 4 and he just recently started to become attached to his father. My husband and I have been separated most of his life. Just this past year my husband and I reconciled and my boy has become a daddy's boy finally. Only because he became a part of my sons like on a daily basis. We are now separated again but my husband see our children now at least every 2 days even if its just a few minutes. And he spends all weekend with them and me. Make a bigger effort to spend time with your son. Also you have to find out the things he enjoys and do it with him. Always make him the center of your universe. Good luck.
308111
Before you give up ask yourself a few questions..is he working all those hours to benefit us as a family or to get away from home. Could he be unhappy also and not wanting to be a family unit. Next talk with him in a calm manner and ask him these questions after you have already answered them for yourself. From there see if this is going to be the best thing for your child as a whole and also you. Will you regret leaving and wished you would have stayed. Right now your lonely and think you would be better off alone but think of the long term and not the short term.............
419781
Honey, you're right to wonder why he won't take the baby. If he hadn't cheated so much I'd just chalk it up to it being easier not to have to get the baby in and out of the car over and over. But with his track record and his response ... fine, I won't go ... I'd wonder what he was up to. Why should you have to pay a sitter when he's off from work? This man doesn't respect you. From what you've described he's cheated on you at least 2 times. Why are you letting him continue to make a fool out of you? Release him (really releasing yourself) from the "trap" he considers your marriage to be and get on with your life. It'll hurt at first, but you'll heal from being with the heel. Then find yourself a man who will love and honor you the way a husband should. Oh! Make sure the b*****d pays you child support!
911077
This is really hard. The most important thing is not treat the kids differently. They all nedd the same ammount of time from both of you but they need time with you that is just theirs individual too. It's also important that thjey each have their own space and don't feel left out. As for your husband, I would make it very clear to him that he better respect your time with your kids as you do his or he'll be finding himself a new mommy!
685445
I truly feel for you in this. I think your husband is a good father for paying that much attention to the children. It is quite obvious you have been together a while and share a deep trust. Talk to him. The age of the children makes a lot of difference here, but hire a babysitter and have a mandatory night off once a month. Go to a movie, dinner, dancing, a rodeo, whatever. Make one night a month for just you and him. If you cannot afford a babysitter, make a Saturday night date of just you and him and a couple of good movies, a bottle of wine, and some snuggling on the couch after the kids are in bed. Talking to him will go a long way towards you both being happier. He obviously loves you and the children. Tell him how proud of the job he is doing as a father, and tell him you know he is equally good at being a husband, he just needs to balance things a little more. \nI hope this helps.
550156
My husband is home every week only Friday through Monday. It is hard for me as we have 3 children, so I am basically a single mom during the time he is away.
869146
Well, I wouldn't jump the gun here. My husband really doesn't have a set time to come home (since he works on the road some) however there are times when he leaves the shop and isn't home until two hours later (we live ten minutes from his job) he is a gabber mouth, he can talk to anyone forever. (My middle daughter gets this from him because she is often corrected at school for talking) Tell your husband that you miss him an awful lot, and if he could cut down on hanging out with friends after work maybe twice or three times a week. You still want him to have some "relax" time but you want to emph that you want to be with him, too.
373923
More information is needed, please, before one can answer your question - for example - why do you wish to create this schedule for your son?  How young is he? can your son not make up his own schedule?  Or do you plan to be away for a week?  Please explain to us more about what it is you are trying to do - thanks!
1119690
My husband and I have two children. It's hard. What we do is several things....sit outside together, have dinner in a public place, walk around the block together, sit with each other on the couch, switch kids with a friend so we don't pay for a babysitter, and we just lay in bed together. We don't have to say anything alot has to do with body langauage and facial expressions. How does your husband treat you? Does he do little things like doing the dishes, make dinner, or open the door for you? The littlest things count not just communication.
692651
I just went through this yesterday myself. All I wanted for Mother's Day was a card from my son, who is 1 and obviously can't go to the store by himself. Apparently this was too much work for my husband and I got nothing. My husband slept all day (we were supposed to go to the zoo). At least I got to spend the day with my son which is what's really important. \n\nI'm angry that my husband was so thoughtless but to answer your question, I wouldn't worry about it too much. Some guys don't do well with holidays, I'm sure that he loves you. Sometimes guys don't realize how important some things are to us because they don't think the same way we do. Just let him know that it upset you and explain why it's important to you and hope that next year he will do something for you from your child.
361924
You and your husband are separating because you couldn't get along being married to each other, so there shouldn't be any problems now. You sound like you may be a little bitter, get over the fact that he has a new female friend. It was bound to happen, unfortunately it was a lot sooner than you would have liked. Learn to get along with your ex for the sake of your son, he is the only person that should matter to both of you in this situation. Don't let your anger or hurt of him having a new female friend get in your way of good parenting. If you have concerns that your son may be confused about daddy's new friend you should discuss this calmly with your ex-husband about how the two of you should approach this with him. Let him know your thoughts and concerns about how this may affect your son. Also, if him having someone else is upsetting your feelings don't be afraid to be honest with him about that. Let him know that this is not easy for you, but that you are trying and would appreciate him acknowledging your feelings during this difficult time. If the two of you can learn to get along it will make for a healthy and happy life for your son and eventually for you too. Good luck to you through this difficult time.
609759
Well you need to let him know all these feelings you are having.  He needs to pull his weight around the house; afterall, it took the two of you to have the kids, it takes the two of you to raise them.  He isn't doing anything and needs to.
272237
I hope this is not the same "friend" of 8 months that is yelling at your son!!! Stop that shyt!! Don't allow any man or woman to abuse you son. You are his first everything\n---his 1st teacher\n---his 1st ADVOCATE\n---his 1st experience with life\nStop putting these men in front of your happiness and your son's well-being. If that muthaf*$@#ka was yelli\nng at my 19 month old I'd catch a case. You better stand up for your son. I understand you want adult male companionship and you deserve "me" time. Taking care of a child is not easy, but he must be number one in your life. And stop having him around the dude you are f@#$kin'.  You wouldn't want your son to grow up to abuse women or worse get abused by women b/c he saw you being abused and your self-esteem get whittled away to nothing. I can only offer this advice b/c I've been there. My son is 13 and has only seen me with 3 men. Granted there have been more in my life, but I refuse to bring all of them around my man-child. Children WATCH more than they LISTEN> Even though your son is only 19 months he can still feel you, just like he did when he was in your stomach. The bond between you and your son is stronger than any bond you can make with a man. That baby is the closet thing to heaven you can get on earth. Cherish him and these years. He's exploring and should not be made to feel that his learning process is less important than some man.