Controlling or putting my foot down?
951686
You should not order him to do anything as that is an attempt to control his actions.  You should tell him exactly how you feel and that you would prefer he not continue contact with her because she has shown bad motives where he is concerned.\n\nIf he cares for you, he will heed what you say and choose to cut communication with her.  If he doesn't, then you need to be concerned about your relationship, not because of her, but because of him.  In the end, you can't control anyone. You can be open about how you feel and why.\n\nSue
762633
He sounds like a control freak. Move on! Good luck to you!
829206
your husband is the one that needs to put his foot down! tell him what is going on..and that you would NEVER put up with this kind of behavior if it were your own mother/sister. \nyou married him, not his mother...yes she is part of your family but she doesn't and shouldn't have a say in YOUR life together. \nhonestly i would look to move away! * that's what i encouraged my husband to do when we got married. we moved my mother in law to Hawaii! * \nif your hubby won't put his foot down then your going to be the one to say something. it may be hard, but YOUR HIS WIFE! that car you borrowed is YOURS as much as it is your husbands...you need to stand up for yourself.\nbe firm but cordial, and tell her that you understand that she loves her son very very much, but so do you. and you are his wife. \nhe is a grown man, and you two want her to be part of your life, but you don't want her controlling it. tell her that you feel like she doesn't like you, and that your trying your best to be a good wife to her son. but you will NOT let her make you feel guilty about the decisions that you make together as a couple. ask her how she would feel if HER mother in law butted in the way she did? \n\nperhaps talking w/your father in law might help? or a brother in law?
805105
I have that same habit lol! Just focus on keeping it lower down, really concentrate on it. After a fwe practices, you should be able to do it. Be careful you don't lean back too much because you will go on your heel and either stumble or fall, in experience that really hurts.
518216
I had to put my foot down at my mother's house, too. \n\nI started it, I suppose. I would go to visit her almost every weekend, and to work out the frustration of cubicle job, I would do work on her property. I didn't even notice that she started having chores lined up.\n\nThen I had problems with my washer and had brought some laundry with me. Since I didn't have full loads, and as a thank-you for letting me use her water and power, I washed her laundry, too. After my washer was fixed, I didn't bring any laundry, and she gave me a hard time about not doing laundry when I went to visit (my two younger brothers lived with her at the time). I was shocked.\n\nI came right out and told her that I didn't live with her. I told her I loved visiting, and was happy to lend a hand once in a while if she needed it, but that I wasn't a member of her household. I told her my visits to see her were my break from my work-a-day life, and not a part of it.\n\nAnd I visited a little less often.
228722
You need to put your foot down.  You need to sit down with her one afternoon (not on sunday morning right before services) and explain to her how you feel.  And inform her, NOT ask, that you will not be attending services as much anymore.  If she has a problem with that, she can force you out from under "her roof".\n\nIts been my experiance that most parents do not have the kind of follow through skills to dump one of their kids onto the street because of theological differences.  You have to be willing to stand firm and call her bluff.\n\nGrounding only works as long as you let it.  When they ground you, don't listen. Grounding only works if YOU let it. What are they going to do, lock you in your room? Rufuse to feed you? Bar all your windows? They can't legally do any of that.  If they say no computer, sit down at it anyway, make them physically drag you off it (like I said, just stop listening or responding, make them physically pick you up while you sit there silently -- freaks them out). If they say no friends, just walk right out the front door (or out a window). You gotta do it like Ghandi, non violent (often silent) protest.  Because most parents are not going to have the balls to go through with kicking you out of the house, and most will just freak out for a while when they realize that you're just stubbornly refusing to play by their rules.\n\nThe best way to do it is to combine responsibility with irresponsibility.  Stand your ground on the church issue, but get good grades. Be a good kid, but really make them work if they're going to punish you. Eventually they will realize they are putting a lot of time and effort into punishing your when you're really not doing anything wrong. People don't like to do work they don't have to and they'll eventually just give up. When they treat you like a person and not a child, don't hesitate to share information about your life and emotions with them. You can retrain them.\n\nAdult/child power relationships are fundamentally unbalenced and part of becoming an adult is a movement towards 50/50.  So get going on that if this is the battle you want to fight.  Take some of their unilateral power away from them.  Have the courage, have the will, and make it happen.\n\nYour life it your own, and there is no point in living it in a way that you do not like, espcially over something so personal as religion.
927528
be assertive not aggresive\nthat is my way of handling this situation
481653
Start with something you like, like walking.  build up slowly, don't try any heroic routines that will cause you to crash and burn right out of the gate.  If you focus on stuff you enjoy doing, it won't feel like such a struggle and you won't dread doing it.  Good luck!
411858
You are controlling your life.  Deciding to go with the flow is your own decision. Even doing nothing about a situation is making a decision (to do nothing).  Don't be so hard with yourself.  I was well over 30 before I decided what I wanted to do.  Stick it out if you can.  At least with that subject you will learn alot about yourself (and therefore others).  If you can't stick it out then leave, and when you do learn what it is that makes your heart sing - go for it, get the qualification then - like I did.\nGood luck
1022040
Well my owner just sit me on this keyboard to do a little dance while he steps out for a fresh cupper--told me I should give you and instep---I mean an insight into my life as a shoe--It really isn't easy--you're constantly being stepped on--scuffed up and ran over--my better half--the foot--drags me through stuff and treats me like a dog--and the foot gets all the credit--every now and then I get all buffed up and I know immediately that I'm going somewhere special---I don't like mud--the stuff chokes me up and my owner doesn't really make the effort to go around anything--especially mud puddles---There are some up sides to all this though-- I get to meet alot of other nice shoes that come from all over the world---Italy--France-- Spain-----but one of the most disconcerting things about my job is that because of my lowly position in life I am forced to look up skirts all day long---it is thoroughly unnerving--makes me crazy and I stumble around sometimes because I can't focus all that well after awhile---just one more thing before I go--if I could ask you all for just one favor--this for the girls in particular---- more of you should really at least consider wearing underpants !!!!!!!!!!!
259129
Just do whatever feels natural.  There are some instincts you are just born with.  Don't think too much about it.
463241
Wait. Let me check my foot notes. I don't want to be a heel.
521103
It will be less stressful for you if you choose which ever  ONE way you want to go. You can have a guiltfree existence for sure. Imagine having one foot each in two  different boats....fastest way to disaster ?
193411
Not too sure what you are asking....Don't do it if it doesn't feel right, or you are not ready, you always have a choice and can decide to do or not to do...
567237
I have the same problem. Tell them that you don't want to and give them reasons. Be firm and don't let them control you..........after all, being single is awesome!
590964
I hope you are truly comfortable with this decision. Sometimes traveling on the road of life you come across a fork in the path, step over it. \nAs far as my opinion goes, which is not far, it rarely strays from home. I do not think you require my validation about the decision you have made. So by that measure I think what you are doing is just fine.
676298
Develop a new comfort zone.  Turning down a promotion will tell them that you have no ambition, and you will likely not be given another opportunity for advancement.