my parents don't want  to have thanksgiving, is this fair to me?
968682
go chill with some of your friends, and the hell with the rest. if they dont feel the same, move on. when they get to looking for you, tell them you will make time for them like they made time for you. this is a special holiday for those u care most for.evn though u should all the time. ur a big girl now. so, go out and do your own thing. from me to u, HAVE A VERY BLESSED AND HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!!!
980453
I think that you might have pressured him a bit too much, my friends like to pressure me into going places that I didnt really want to go because my parents were against it. It was really stressful and annoying, your boyfriend is probably pretty torn right now, because if he stays he hurts you, if he goes he hurts his mother. And dont write " so  that my BF could spend thanksgiving with his mommy..awwwww..." that makes it seem as if there is something WRONG with that. You obviously dont understand a mother's feelings. Anyway, thats just my opinion. Also, you said that your father changed the vacation dates for him, well maybe he should have done that AFTER he figures out if he was going or not. And well, wether you should just let him stay or go. Just ask him what he REALLY REALLY wants to do, ask him to be totally honest with you. Also, there are plenty of times that he can meet your family, what about Christmas?( I do not know your religion, but its just an example) Hope this helps, good luck! ^_^
857690
Don't stress over this!  I once went to a party where 6 people sat in the kitchen, 8 at 2 card tables in the living room, and 2 bedrooms had a card table in each.  There  were 22 people in this apartment!  We all had someone to talk to, and there were 3 different kinds of dishes and silverware.  The food was set out on the counter, and everyone helped themself and went to sit and eat.\n\nAfter dinner was over, the tables were cleared from the living room, and everyone sat around in there, bringing some of the chairs from the other rooms.  We all had a good time, and no one thought a thing that we weren't all sitting together to eat.\n\nIt's the getting together that matters the most.  Don't do the plastic silverware and paper plates!  Borrow what you need from someone.  Just try to relax and have a good time.  \n\nMy daughter had a large party a couple of times.  She borrowed two card tables and some sat in the living room.  \n\nI know it's disappointing when you planned it to be rather fancy, but believe me, no one is going to mind that you do it another way.  \n\n\nHave a great Thanksgiving!
913742
When I first started dating my boyfriend, I baked a tray of cookies for Thanksgiving and brought it over for dinner.  The tray was GONE by the end of the day and now it's become tradition for my cookies around the holidays.  But it's not always about buying things or doing things for someone.  Obviously do what your mom would tell you, be respectful, polite.  Engage in conversation, dress appropriately, and be yourself!  :)  Oh and ask if they'd like help in the kitchen, mothers really seem to like that.
1051243
Im trying to support my own family...not everyone else
839793
My dad just died on 11-02-06. He was 91. My mother has said that no one can decorate or celebrate the holidays this year. Honestly, the house is home 24/7 with nothing to do so the holidays is a diversion that can be used to entertain friends but mom says that she doesnt want to tell people that dad died because then they might come over to see her. If they do, she is directing them to her sister's house because she feels that no one came to see her and dad while he was alive.\nThe one family that she called when he died and who attended his funeral in her absence, sent food for us which my sister immediately put in the freezer for "happier times". Then they called to invite us to Thanksgiving Dinner at their house, which my mother refused. The people then told mom not to send any gifts and they would do the same in honor of her husband. It is mom's birthday today and two days before Thanksgiving, and mom has been on the phone and internet with my sister ordering gifts for these people for the holidays.\nMom was told today by a animal shelter that they will be naming the next homeless pet they save after dad.
831640
Boy do I feel your pain or what!  Sounds similar to my wedding fiasco!\n\nI'm assuming that the two families are upset with the other?\n\nYour parents did welcome his family.  With a wonderful ceremony and party.  But being the gracious hosts your parents are, I'm sure they're not holding a grudge at not being properly thanked. I'm sure they've just chalked it up to others social inexperience.  And have moved on with their lives.\n\nHis family should have thanked your family.  Everyone should have thanked your family.  But the best thing to do would be to move past this.  If you still sense tension, I would say something like "Well, we're not going to get into 'who should have done what' at this late date.  We're just going to move past it.  As I'm sure my family has done."  If someone truly wants to know what the socially corrent thing to do is, I'm sure they will ask you in private and you can let them know without embarrassing them.\n\nGood luck!
610073
Well its not right to force anyone for anything but just look it like this our parents do so many thing for our hapiness which they dont want to do so we kind of force them aswell and if once in a while they ask us for something i think we shouldnt turn them down just try to be there for them much as you can it will give you inner beauty and alot of blessing in life.I think if you can keep your parents happy you will end up being happy or else your kids will do the same with you and i know you wouldnt like that.so yea go on and try to enjoy it if you can.
957202
No!\n\nJust don't make yourself miserably stuffed.\n\nEnjoy small portions of what you want.\n\nHappy Thanksgiving!
937037
NO, you were completely justified. It isn't even a matter of her being grateful (which of course, she should be) it is also a matter of her being a decent human being and having some level of manners. When someone goes out thier way to help you with something, the LEAST that you could do is say thank you or tell them how much you apprectiate all they have done for you. She stayed in thier house not just as a guest, but as a memeber of the family, and in such, should appreciate that level of acceptance and support. You and your parents seem like good people, and deserve that much respect.
752487
Im wondering how old you are since your family is so against it, maybe they think it was too quick.\nYou have to go with your own feelings but listen to what the family has to say and maybe you can help them understan your point.
442270
Tell your parents straight up that you will not accept the blame for their arguments and that you will no be the scapegoat for their problems in their life. It may be so that they argue about something related to you but their inability to resolve the issue shows their is some problems brewing between them for some time before and instead of facing them they blame you. Tell them how you feel and let them know that is sad that they are not been adults and instead of helping you grow as a person they are limiting you and making you feel bad.
928203
I had an answer for this, but it was too close to Cinnamon's. Give her the 10 pts. I've been in this situation enough times - don't even try to over-feed yourself. \n\nIt's great to start with intentions of only having one part of the meal at one place, but the next thing you know, the stuffing smells sooooo good, and you're stuffed! :)\n\nYour families should understand that you want to see everyone. What matters is that you're making the effort to visit with them all, and that you're not making anyone wait for you. Have fun!
815999
Your in a tough spot and I don't agree with unwanted guest.  BUT it is the holidays and you don't want to seem like a complete jerk by saying they can't come.  At least this time it is family his sister right?  So holidays are about family and sharing so your going to have to accept her 'partner' as part of your family.  If you keep pushing him away he may make your mother start spending the holidays away from you...since his family is excluded.  Do you see my point?  \nSo to keep the peace just suck it up and set out two extra places and try to keep the holiday spirit in your heart even though you want to strangle him!!
953507
I've never seen anyone tell their family they have to pay to go to a family dinner. Its supposed to be a festive time. We have in the past divided what we were having and had people make different things or bring other items like drinks. \nIf I were you, I'd call your aunt and ask her if she'd rather you help make something rather than pay to go to dinner. Either that or provide a receipt to show you that she actually spent the money because I would feel uncomfortable going if she was just trying to make a profit off of her family... like charging for her labor and rental of her house.
486287
Let your parents know how important this banquet is to you and stress the fact that it is only for one day and you can spend the rest of the time with your aunt and uncle.  It might help if you can come up with something fun you can do with your aunt and uncle while they are here.  Show your parents that you really do care about your aunt/uncle and spending time with them, but you would also like to do something fun with your friends too.  I see no reason why you can't do both and hopefully your parents will see that too.
833772
Talk to your mother and let her know how important this tradition is to you.  Maybe she has a reason for wanting to do it this year?  Perhaps if you talk with her you can change her mind or come up with a compromise.  Or perhaps there is another family member who will take you to your grandmothers.