My ex-husband grounded our daughter from seeing me. The reason is she got a bad grade on a test. What do I do?
955613
He's trying to find a way to motivate your daughter by removing what she values which is her visits with you or he believes her visits with you are a bad influence and her grades are dropping. You have parental rights that you can enforce but you must do it in such a way that places your daughter's interests above  your own. If she can't see you then perhaps you can call each other and you can try to help her with her homework. The seperation is obviously difficult on her. Send her cards and things that you think would be helpful to her in school so that she gets the silent message from you that you believe her education is important. It can be simple things like pens, paper, pencils, cute erasers or pencil supports, agenda books, homework calendars, index cards with a note that they are for vocabulary & spelling. Also send her reaffirming cards. Since she isn't with you ; you have to do things to let her know you are thinking of her always. Saying you are isn't enough. Send perfume, lip gloss, deoderant. Don't wait for her to ask or tell you what she needs. Send her a charm and a note that says "everytime you wear this ; remember that I believe in you". Sometimes that's all it takes. I think your ex is trying to do the best thing for her but he is encroaching on your rights.
1035274
I'm having a hard problem understanding why you did not know he was failing long ago. Was there no communications from the teacher? Did you ever see a report card? Your son may have been lying about his grades because he was embarrassed and ashamed. You may be thinking that your harsh punishment of him is because of lying, but he thinks it's because of the grades. For our children to succeed in school, they need our daily help and involvement. So I ask again, where have you been all this time that your son was failing? What are you doing now to help him succeed and rediscover his love of learning that obviously has been lost somewhere along the way? All your harsh punishment will teach him is that in the future he'll have to figure out how to lie better. I would suggest some family counseling, because I think you are off-track in how you are handling your son and it's only going to get worse when he hits puberty, any second now.
651202
She has already apologized and personally I don't feel an apology was necessary.  Her friend didn't date the other guy, or make out with him, in fact, she turned him down so there was no friendship rule broken.  The friend should have spoken up to your daughter and let her know she was just toying with the guy.  Hopefully the friend learned her lesson not to play games with people cus it could blow up in your face; as it did.  Also, your daughter shouldn't be soo quick to make out with anyone. This friend doesn't seem or sound like a friend to me anyway.  Tell your daughter to move on.
195761
Suga, I know you are upset, but bringing your daughter into this is not very nice.  If you two split up or have a huge blow out, then she is going to think that she is the reason why Daddy and Mommy are upset.  Just calm down and sit down with your hubby, telling him calmly how you feel.  Maybe you can get something worked out.  Good Luck, and you're in my prayers
202732
Did your daughter make the accusation before or after your husband stating he did not want her living in the house anymore?\nIf she said it after he made known his wishes that she move out, it could be a malicious lie on her part to stir up bad feelings and mistrust between you & him.\nThere's a well-known case about a California bus driver who was accused of molestation by two girls on his bus. It turned out they started the lie to get him in trouble because he told them both to be quiet on the bus in front of everyone.\nIf the accusation came before him wanting her to move out, talk seriously with your daughter alone, and take notes on the details. Then, talk to your husband separately and compare stories.  Then talk with your daughter again to look for inconsistencies.
971932
omg, i know how you feel! go to your most trusted teacher (in my case my english teacher) and tell her what your archrival is doing. i use to have this one guy cheat off of my papers on test and when i told her, it came to a screetching halt. also, if she is making bad grades then she shouldn't have made the team. talk to the coach of the baseball team about that. but be reasonable and calm about it.\n\nluck!
579066
1. Continue with the child support action.  \nSince you say it was filed "through the state" the only issues at trial should be (1) paternity and (2) the amount of child support. The child support will be retroactive to when the case was filed, and may be retroactive to the date the child was born.  \n\nIf your ex is still in the military your child support will come out of his pay and the military will send the check directly to you.  Your child will also be eligible for all dependent coverage, including medical insurance, medical care through military hospitals, beneficiary of your ex's life insurance, disability pay, death benefits, etc.  Talk to a JAG at the base closest to you and find out what these are.\n\nChild visitation will probably not be heard at the trial, the ex would have had to have filed a separate action asking for visitation.  Even if he did, or does in the future, he's not goinng to get much, if any, given he's not seen or supported the child in two years.  \n\nIn the eyes of your daughter your husband is "daddy", she does not need any paper to know that.\n\nAt some time, in six or eight years, you can, if you want, inform her that 'daddy' is not her bio father.  In ten or sixteen years, or after bio dad is out of the picture (e.g. he's out of the military and you can't find him) your husband can adopt the child.  \n\nOf course, seek advice from an attorney who can ask and answer more questions than this posting can.
679780
Your situation sounds tenous at best and certainly I would agree that your ex-wife is exerting pressure and influence over your daughter regarding efforts to strain your relationship with her. The fact that your daughter now knows about your efforts to make contact and that now you have recently had direct contact with each other over the phone, has certainly not hurt your position with her.\n\nMy suggestion is to continue to practice the patience you have shown up to now and try to maintain at least this minimal contact with one another. Your daughter may be in a position where the mothers influence invloves aspects of her life on which she is still dependent and therefore may be putting her in a position of 'loyalty' to her mother, even though it would seem she would like it to be otherwise.\n\nYour daughter is a young woman now, turning 18 and about to graduate high school. I would recommend giving this some time while making sure she knows that you would like very much to have more contact. Also, make her aware that you know this puts her in an awkward position. Tell her that you understand how difficult this is for her but that you are there for her when she feels ready to have more contact. \n\nYou don't say if your daughter plans to go to college and if so would she still be living at home. If she chooses to go to college where she needs to live on campus or nearer to the facility then this would also open the door for more contact without her mothers interference.\n\nBest Wishes !!
937465
We just went through this.  Go to the school and pay directly. Get a receipt in your name.  I would also let the school know the situation.  Ask them if they see signs of neglect to please report it immediately to you.  If and when you go to court (you probably will if she is crazy enough to not care if her child eats) this can help prove that she can not take care of the child properly.  Anything you do above child support make sure you get documentation.  \n\nI am sure the school is not going to let her go hungary (ask anyway).  Most schools just substitute a cheaper meal.
130494
Go to the principal, the dean whomever w/ proof you didnt cheat. That is wrong for her to accuse if she has no proof
353627
you have 6 month from the time your divorce was filed here in ca.  If I were you, I would consult a Lawyer.  He has no business being a father.  He sounds very unfit.  Sounds like you have very good grounds.  First though what I would recommend is documenting. for example, I keep all emails I send to my ex that way if need being I have the written proof for the court.  basically say to him, that he was scheduled to pick so and so up, but you got a call from the school saying no-one pick her up.  something along those lines.  without documentation, you won't have a chance.
66014
She is considered as an adult , so there's nothing you can do legally if she left with him willingly, the best thing you can do for your daughter is to just support her on her decision and when things don't work out, be there for her, let her know that NO MATTER WHAT you are there for her and that your love is unconditional, what you don't want is for her not to want anything to do with you and when things go wrong she'll be scared to come to you and end up in a worst situation.
909414
hello, It would be beneficial for you to sit down with your daughter and talk to her about her dad. Please for her sake, try to understand her point of view about her dad, he may have mistreated you and her, but ultimately he is her dad, and she may be struggling with abandonment issues, and hurting so much that she is self sabotaging your relationship with her, to prove to herself that no one cares, and that everyone is unrealiable. \nIt is confusing for her but if you can not portray your negatity about your ex, or that situation, and try to remain nuetral... allow her to talk to you about her feelings , she'll gain respect for you and will listen to your rules in time. \nIt is clear that she is trying to manipulate you, and she may be playing on your heart strings, " Mom won't do anything, cuz she doesn't want to loose me." \nIt is hard as a mother, because we are not portrayed as authoritative, but you need to stand your ground no matter how much she laments, and cries, hollars... don't give in. If she doesn't do something she needs to be shown that there are consequences to her negative actions. \nAsk who her friends are, and when they come over, quiz them, ask them " so where do you live? what does your mom and dad do? " Chat them up in a friendly manner so she doesn't realize it's the third degree, and her friends will say " Hey your mom is cool!" They'll want to hang at your house, and you'll be able to keep a better eye on her.
250244
First, be absolutely 100 percent certain that your daughter is telling you the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.  If you are that certain, then it isn't right for her to be punished under the circumstances you described.  I would have a meeting with the principal (being very courteous and respectful).  If that is not successful, have a meeting with the school superintendent.  If that is not successful, go to the school board meeting.  You can also contact an attorney, if you believe the case warrants it.
614673
I am so sorry for you! I am not experiencing the same, but my daughter has to have visitations with her father. He has threatened to kidnap her, so I'm always worrying about it. Also my child is 4 and has told me that her father touches and hurts her peepee. I've contacted several different agencies, lawyers, docs etc. Nothing is being done! I feel the frustration that you are going thru!The judge actually granted extra time on visits and went to unsupervised visits b/c evidence was inconclusive.I was told that if my ex was to run off with my daughter there was really nothing that I could do, even though I also have full custody. Why? Because he is the child's rightful parent too, and is allowed visitation. HUH??? I swear that is what they told me. But yet if I refuse to give my daughter over to him for his visits I will be arrested for kidnapping! ?????What a world we live in! Give me an email sometime. I'd like to stay in touch with you even if it's just to offer support. I hate to mention it but have you tried all the hosp. in the area that you last knew them to be? How about tracking them down via Yahoo White pages? Do you know of any family or friends that she might take your daughter to. Maybe you could contact them or go see them face-to-face. I don't know your financial sit. but hiring a private investigator might help. Have you posted their pics at police stations? They can fax it to others nationwide. Offer a reward. And above all else don't give up until you know for sure. And PRAY, PRAY, PRAY!!I will pray for you right now! God be with you! The answer about checking with schools is great. When you move to a new school the old school has to contacted and then they send info and should keep this on record. Maybe if she was in a Headstart program or a preschool program like pre-K you might be able to get some info thru them. As her biological father, you have the right to request that info and they cannot deny you it.Amy
53820
how sever was this touching?  what proof do you have?   notify DSS departmetn of social servce immediately. they will take the kids away and let your daughter marry who ever she wants but the kids will be safe.  obvioulsy the kids arent very importatn to her. \n\nwhy is she so stupid
639021
I feel for you and your daughter. I think the best thing you can do is get some professional help. See a counsler. You and your daughter will never be able to totally get over his abandoning you, but, with the correct tools, you can learn to deal with it.