today i have found out that a family friend has cancer.. is she going to die???
969787
I am so sorry to hear about your family friend and hope you are providing support and understandin right now....the fact that she has secondarys (the cancer has spread to  another part of the body) is , I will be honest, worrying.  I know how awful this illness can be and how devastating it can be especially when the person has been healthy....my dad got cancer...he didn;t smoke, he was active and healthy....by the time he was diagnosed he had secondarys.  The chemo might be there to ease the side effects rather than cure or extend life...she needs to know which it is in her case....my thoughts are with your friend and all who love her right now...I do wish you well and hope that any news she has is positive.  Keep us updated? and if you need to chat...feel free to mail me
154229
My heart goes out to you and your sister.  People DO survive lung cancer.  Taking chemo is a tough decision to make, it can destroy the quality time you may have left IF  hers is NOT in a curable stage.  Most doctors WILL give honest answers IF the patients ASK:  Is my cancer curable?  What are my chances of surviving with surgery only?  What are my chances of surviving WITH and WITHOUT chemo? Or  WITH and WITHOUT radiation?\nShe might need you to go with her to ask these questions, (I encourage you to WRITE DOWN your questions, and let the doctor SEE you have a list of questions...) for the support, and so you can reaffirm what she was told.   An amazing number of people are unable to clearly remember and process the info they are given when the disease is life-threatening.  If you were with her, and later she can't quite recall the information, you could gentley help her work through the answers.\n Encourage her to get second opinions if she feels she needs more information.  Not EVERY form of cancer, not EVERY patient is good candidate for chemo.  Chemo can often cause more life ravaging consequences than the cancer itself.  I can understand her hesitancy in NOT jumping into chemotherapy.  Please do not let anyone make her feel like a "quitter" or guilty for NOT choosing chemo IF HERS IS not curable.  Perhaps she will choose to focus her fight on maintaining her dignity, independence, and quality of life as long as she is able to- IF HERS IS NOT IN A CURABLE STAGE.  \nSometimes radiation and other cancer treatments are given as a palliative measure, meaning it will not CURE the cancer, but hopefully if can keep the tumors from causing decreasing function of of organs in the chest, or from causing increased pain.\nIf it IS treatable, and if it IS a stage of cancer that will repond to surgery, chemo, and radiation, etc, it may make it easier for her to bear the treatments if she knows she DOES have a chance to survive.  She has a right to that information about her own particular stage of cancer before she makes the choice. Take care, I wish you both well.
92074
First thing is to talk to your friend, \n1- What ype of cancer her sister has?\n2- In what stage and what was the doctor's advice\n3- Find out more about it together, depending on your friend's character; I would say she would need support. Someone to talk to, realise steam and basically just be there...\nPeople et very scared when "cancer" is mentioned but many has cures or can be controlled, knowledge would be the best relieve. And then sometimes, there s nothing much in our hands, what will be will be; we can do much but to accept it.\nIf that is the case, she'll have a hard time. Terminal cancer is very hard on the patients and their family members.
1132396
I have heard that she has cancer. I'm not sure what type but that is what has been going around. Whatever it is, I hope she gets better. That's seems like too much pain for a parent to bear.
877510
my mom found out she had lung cancer and i was willing to give her a lung, or whatever it took, i would have gladely takin her place and i told her so....she passes away a couple weeks after she found out she had it because it had spread to bones and her brain.....if u have a mom love her, spend lots of time w/ her, and nerver do things u will regret.
32726
Wow, what a tough situation.  I am so sorry for the loss that you are experiencing.\n\nI guess the point of making a last visit is to say your goodbyes and let the loved one know of your love for her and add some comfort you can in any way to the scary process that she's going through, as well as be around to help your other (healthy) relatives.  \n\nIn that sense, it's a good idea to ask your aunt.  My grandmother's cancer seemed to already affect her brain during my last visit with her, but we still had a great visit and it was a time that I won't forget.  You might want to ask her when she would like you to come, or how your presence can be the most helpful to her.  This goes for your other relatives.\n\nTimes like this have a way of stripping off people's fronts and exposing their real needs and desires.  I have a feeling that if you are honest and sincere with them, they will be honest with you, too.\n\nI also think that you can pray and ask God this question.  He knows everything, so He'll definitely be able to guide you as you deal with this difficult time for your family.\n\nMy best wishes to all of you.
59167
make sure she is as comfortable as possible. i know its hard but you have to. be her support system. if she needs to cry be her shoulder if she needs to yell just listen and dont yell back. most of the time they are not angry with you.make sure she gets the treatments she needs and the meds she needs. if you miss an appointment reschedule as soon as possible. some people with cancer handle the problem differently she may laugh it off but remember thats her way of dealing with it. dont get angry and say things you dont mean. you are a good person for staying by her side. make the time you have with her as good as possible. play cards read books schedule movie nights. i will pray for you and your mother. i am so sorry this is happening to your family.
133344
I will pray for you.  You have my sympathy.  I have bone cancer, and it is terminal.  I focus on what I CAN do, each day.  Some days all I can do is lay in bed.  Other days, although rarely, I feel almost good. I believe we send messages to our bodies, subconsciously.  If we think the worst, the worst will happen.  I am a registered nurse, and even though I could easily look up every aspect of my disease, I choose not to.  Only God knows when our time is up.
886370
yes,,,  recently lost  an aunt  to cancer  at  45  years  old  ,,  and only found out  abt  9 week  before,,  she  passed  away,,  you  only  live  once?  and  lifes too short  to  let it pass  you  by
1043004
I will definitely keep your family in my prayers if you keep mine in yours.  My grandma had Alzheimer's desease and its in its final stages.  She can no longer eat or drink and they have basically given up hope in helping her.  Her blood sugar is dropped and she is starting to shut down.  We are praying God will take her peacefully and end her suffering once and for all. This has been going on her years and has taken its toll on our family.  God bless you and yours.
971338
My aunt passed away this past year from breast cancer, and I don't know if this is something that it unique to the city they live in, to breast cancer, or to terminal patients, but there was a hospice that helped them (her, her husband, my cousins, and my grandparents) through the entire thing, providing counseling for her and for her "co-survivors" (the people in your life whose lives are affected during diagnosis, treatment, and possibly death), being an advocate for her with the various doctors and hospitals and treatment centers, helping them find financial resources when things got really bad financially, and when the end was near, she went to live there and was cared for in a really kind, peaceful, gentle way (unlike at a hospital, where understaffing can happen, the hospice is small, and the people are trained for that particular work...  they became close friends through the whole ordeal).\n\nIt's not just with the elderly.  Depression in cancer patients and families of cancer patients is understandable and common.  If you don't know of any resources, start out talking to his oncologist (or a nurse at the oncologist's office, since a lot of times, the doctors can be rushed and not all doctors have a great bedside manner, while nurses are the ones who are actually THERE for the whole thing).  Express your concerns and ask if there are any centers, hospices, or other resources available to help them work through this time in their lives.  I'm sure they'll be able to get you to SOMEONE who could help, or who could tell you what the next step towards getting help would be.\n\nAll that aside, when my own grandfather had cancer, he was very trying to be around.  I say that, and I hope you realize that I love him very very much, and I understand that it's COMPLETELY normal for him to be upset, and all that, but realistically, yeah, he was difficult to be with.  Basically, for 65 years, he had been a robust man, working two jobs at time, a manager or supervisor in just about any job he had, he loved to be around people and to travel and to work out in his yard and all that, then he got sick, and was dependant on his wife (a woman my husband likes to tease about being the only 65-year-old woman to maintain her birthweight...  she's TINY) and his daughters and doctors, and he didn't have the energy he wanted to keep up with grandkids and go to church and he couldn't travel anymore.  Basically, he just had to hand over his "I Can Take Care of Myself" card, and I think his pride was hurt more than his body at that time.  So we'd bring him food, or help him across the house, and he was grumbling the whole time, not because he was bothered by us or he didn't think we were taking good care of him, but because he didn't want to be taken care of at all.  That frustration on top of everything else came out loud and clear.  Understand that your grandfather is a grown man (even if at times he has to be cared for like a child) and try to find ways to respect him that way.  In some ways, taking care of an ill grandparent is like taking care of a three-year-old.  They have to reliquish control, but they won't do it happily.  Sometimes the best thing to do is to let them think they have control, even over seemingly small things.  \n\nI'm sorry to hear of your grandfather's illness.  Take care.
1079366
I will keep you and your family in my prayers. Any time one has a major surgery there is a chance of not making it through the surgery My mom,in 2003 went to her doctor(regular visit) and he sent her to the hospital they ran the usual tests and told her they would not release her,that she had no choice but to have a quadruple by-pass.So she did,she came through the surgery fine. It took a few months for her to regain her strength,she never seemed to recover from a deep depression.18 months later she died peacefully in her sleep.What concerns me,the quadruple was a fairly new venture in heart surgery at the time.Within 6 months of her surgery,her boyfriend was told he needed the same surgery.and one month later mom's younger brother was told he needed a quadruple by pass.at the same time  a friend of mine had the surgery then the doctor tells his wife she needed the same surgery a month or so later another friend of mine had to have the same surgery!These people live in different states But...they were all on social security and medicaid or medicare.There may not be any connection or anything.But it just strikes me as odd that all these people I know had to have the same surgery.I have even wondered"were these doctors using these people as guinea pigs for practice? My Mom was 70 when she died.There's no doubt that many people need this type surgery.Maybe I am just being paranoid!I guess I am still very upset at the fact the doctor said the surgery would add 10 to 15 years to her life.Her death was totally unexpected.She was not complaining of pain or feeling sick or anything. I pray your Grandpa will have a good out come on his surgery!
809212
I am sorry for you. I lost my mother 3 years on thanksgiving and every day I miss her. I lost her to colon cancer that spread to the rest of her body. I know what you are feeling and I hate that it hits me even more on her death day and on her birthday. I sometimes wish that I can see her alive just one more time so I can ask her if there was anything more I could of done for her when she was going through that. I was blessed to have taken care of her at home till the end. But you will always be sad for your mother because that love you received from her, you will get nowhere else. God bless you.
783497
If the operation prolongs life, even by a year or two, then yes. I'd also seek a 3rd and even 4th opinion. Are you the person with the cancer? Whoever it is, I'm deeply sorry. I know what it's like to have that horrible disease in the family. You'll come to the right decision and remember, sometimes miracles do happen. The very best of luck to you and yours
1111420
My mom was diagnosed three years ago. She had stage 3 breast cancer. It spread to the lymphnoids and she ended up having a double mastectomy. She's had plastic surgery and is now a fully developed cancer-free 46 year old. I'm so proud of her.\n\nMy best friends sister has Hodgkins disease. It's in her neck and she's currently undergoing treatment at Duke. He's having to stay with a friend while the rest of his family is with her. Please pray for her.\n\nI'd also like to say I'm sorry for whatever reason you posted this. Cancer is a hard thing to deal with but I know dozens of people who have overcome this. I hope everything is okay with you. Good luck and remember that there are always people to support you or whoever you know.
406879
Dealing with a life threatening cancer is certainly a life changing event for the family (along with the obvious for the one who is afflicted). Watching my father die this year (even though for much of it i was away at school) has been the most difficult thing ive had to deal with in my life. Seeing someone that you love and respect so much slowly go from an active person, to a sedentary person, to a dying person is a difficult transformation to witness. There is always some form of bad news as the cancer slowly defeats some of the different methods that are used at times to treat the illness. You tend to experience every emotion in small bits. First theres a lot of fear and denial, because although there are so many different forms of cancer, and so many people get the disease, its never going to happen to us, we thought. Then theres anger and despair, and just an incredible sense of loss as you realize some of the things that will hopefully happen someday in my life that he cant be there for.\n\nYet you begin to realize that you are not alone, and that life really is a precious thing. I became so much more thankful for the 19 years i got with my dad (sadly a lot of this was after he passed, as it was too tough for me to be around him while he was in his final weeks). Although you have to deal with the slow dying process, you get to spend so much more time with them, than if death had come quickly from an acute illness. You begin to value the things which you take for granted from before. The difficulties never go away during the process, but every little bit that Dad fought, along with the good moments made life worthwhile. \n\nonce i made peace with the idea that he would die, there was a pretty horrible sense of waiting, because you know eventually it will come (if its terminal). But you realize that you have time, and that is a beautiful thing. Ironically, ive learned to love who my dad was more since he has gone than while i was an ungrateful teen (or maybe i just didnt realize how i loved the man).\n\nFortunatly all cancer is not fatal, and there is a lot of hope for a cure. Im now a better person for the difficult process, and ive learned to have empathy for my fellow man and woman. I love my dad, and the fact that he is gone doesnt take away from the wonderful 19 years i got with him.
492965
Oh No :( ..\nI would definetly call at least her doctor, and see what  he suggests. If he knows her wishes are to die at home,and not in a Hospital, at least he may be able to give you some suggestions. That is just terrible, and I am very sorry for you and your family. She must be a very special woman to have lived so long! My thoughts and prayers are with you all.