how do you get through the daily grind, knowing a beloved family member is dying?
959249
I'm so sorry.  I know this is an awful time, made even worse by the fact that you're not able to be home right now.  When you call home, have your dad put the phone to the dogs ear and talk to him as you would if you were there...hearing your voice will be comforting to him and will also make you feel closer.  As difficult as it is to do...I have always been with my pets when they were "put to sleep" or died on their own...it gives you closure, and also the comfort of knowing your presence was felt by the pet and the last thiing they see before going.  I have been thru this a few times, and my heart aches for you.  Just do your best and stay in touch with your family
362866
Pray.  Give thanks for all I have had in this life.  Wish good things for my family.  Write a note to my hubby and kids telling them how much I love them and to not be sad for too long.  To go on with life.  Be at peace.
978776
I am sorry to hear that there has been such sadness in their lives.  \n\nTeenagers have an adult understanding of death, but do not have adult skills to cope with it.  They may lash out at other family members and be very angry.   Be aware that it is not unusual for teenagers who have experienced such a loss to engage in reckless behavior such as drug or alcohol abuse, fighting at school, etc.\n\nIt may help them to do or make something special to remember their dad.  This could be preparing a collage of pictures of him and remembering good times, writing him a letter to say how they feel and to say good-bye, etc.\n\nThere are many books to help with loss and grieving.  Possibly check with the counselor at their school.  They probably have books for that purpose at the school.  Also check at your local bookstore and library.  They usually have a few books that would be quite useful.\n\nThese links should be of help to you.  They have a lot of good information about helping teenagers cope with loss.  They also have lists of books.  Take care.
188245
Someone once said, that which does not kill you makes you stronger.  People survive because they must.  It becomes easier if you do not wallow in your grief and get back to your normal routine as quickly as possible, even if you are "just going thru the motions" for a while.  When my very dear grandmother passed away, my mother insisted we only be there for the wake and funeral and then go back to work.  I thought she was wrong, I now know she was correct.  Life goes on and so must you.
85536
FIRST, I WANT TO SAY SORRY FOR YOUR LOSS, TO LOSE SOMEONE IN SUCH A TRAGIC WAY AS URSELF, IT IS EXTREMEMLY DIFFICULT FOR ALL THOSE CLOSE TO UR BROTHER\ni feel that it could be for 2 reasons...\n(1) youre having a very difficult time with his death , as anyone would, and it may help to talk to a family member or close friend about ur brother and see if that stops the dream, or...\n(2) which i feel more stronger about...i know most people dont believe this stuff, but your brother may be trying to tell you something. my guess is if someone in the family, close to you ...or you yourself, may not be feeling well,  he may be telling you  to get checked out by a dr. IVE HAD THIS EXPERIENCE...ive also lost someone close to my in a mva, and she gave me a "spiritual message" and i wound up being very ill..i am not a religous person, and i dont go to church on sunday, however i am very sprirital.
513429
Only thing that I can tell you is take it one day at a time. I just lost someone too so I know the feeling. I can't say it's going to get better but it will get easier. It is OK to cry and know that the one that you lost is still with you even in death and they are also watching over you. Cat it will be OK in do time just ask God to take away the pain and then you will see that you will start to feel better one day at a time. God Bless You and I'm sorry for your lost.
120447
Take a deep breath and grieve. then start with the small stuff. pay a bill or dust a piece of furniture. then see how you feel. try doing just one thing a day until you feel you can handle more.
689780
I would try to let my family and loved ones know that I love them. And tell them not to be sad for too long, because it is bad for you. Maybe try to think of something funny, to lighten things up. Like, "Hey Mom, cheer up, at least I won't be borrowing money from ya all the time!" Then maybe eat a sandwich. And hug someone......... hopefully someone I know............ and like............ and who is not very stinky.
520174
been there and i know its hard but trust me with each passing day it will get easier.its almost like losing a parent or child the hurt you feel but you must go on for yourself and others that love you. i know it doesn't help now but you will see in time.
89698
Just cool off in your plans for a while.Ovethere people are mourning about loosing their beloved ones.
633714
yes you should. Why? when a person dies the family is going through so many emotions and everything is a fog.  They are so hurt and sad and at times don't remember who all came to see them and it's not because they are being rude, they are just so consumed with not having the loved one there anymore.  So, yes you are doing the right thing and they will be very happy to know you care.
32726
Wow, what a tough situation.  I am so sorry for the loss that you are experiencing.\n\nI guess the point of making a last visit is to say your goodbyes and let the loved one know of your love for her and add some comfort you can in any way to the scary process that she's going through, as well as be around to help your other (healthy) relatives.  \n\nIn that sense, it's a good idea to ask your aunt.  My grandmother's cancer seemed to already affect her brain during my last visit with her, but we still had a great visit and it was a time that I won't forget.  You might want to ask her when she would like you to come, or how your presence can be the most helpful to her.  This goes for your other relatives.\n\nTimes like this have a way of stripping off people's fronts and exposing their real needs and desires.  I have a feeling that if you are honest and sincere with them, they will be honest with you, too.\n\nI also think that you can pray and ask God this question.  He knows everything, so He'll definitely be able to guide you as you deal with this difficult time for your family.\n\nMy best wishes to all of you.
124102
yes,it takes a long time.talk to a doctor.ifeel blue at times but i have to go on as i have a 10 yr old granddaughter to care for since 9mo old.now her 32yr old mother[my daughter] passed on in jan.my 4mo old greatgrandson passed in dec and my 60 yr old sister in sept.so i have god to keep me going and have to have faith that god has a plan .we now go to church.i don't know why these things have happrned but i will know when i die.so maybe church would help you.i have a husband and 4 sons and 9 grandchildren to help to me go on too.god bless you.i will pray for you.
60767
Losing a close relative takes considerable time for the person to grieve and heal. Make sure she knows that you're there for her if she would like to talk, and call her or visit every so often ( twice a week sounds good ), just so she knows you're still her friend. Practice being a good listener, and never, ever tell her to "snap out of it." People grieve and heal at their own rates and cannot rush the process.
1007352
I lost my father at the age of 16.. not only did it send me into an emtional and mental spiral... it affected my work, my hobbies, friends, self-image, you name it.. i started to go down hill at it.\n\nYou will NEVER "get over" the loss of that loved one.. nor will you ever forget them.    \n\nI however, believe that eveything happens for a reason, when the Lord says....."child come home"....... nothing matters, the age, sex, how much they are need here on earth, how "you" feel it wasn't there time.   Everyone is taken when they are...because that is the will of God.\n\nI pray for you...  peace and contentment, strength and understanding.  I hope that through these tough times that you face now and will continue to face some happiness and good can come of this.  Do not be mournful or feel sorrow....   for stuggle is ordained, as is life and death.    \n\nRemember them for who they were, what they did and how they touched you...   do not fill you life with resentment and bitterness trying to understand.  \n\nGet a journal, talk to a counselour... confide in your family and friends.     They are there for you!\n\nPeace & Love
1034234
This sense of loss you feel is real.Everyone grieves for diffferent periods of time.I can relate to how you feel since both my parents died almost 3 years ago. My dad was sick for some time and when he died it was almost a blessing to see him at peace.My mother dies 10 days later and it was such a shock.I tried to deal with my loss by talking about my feelings with my family.I found comfort in making a scrapbook about them. Sometimes it is the little things that will remind you of them. It may be hearing a song, seeing someone who vaguely resembles your loved ones, scents from perfume  or something so commonplace you associate it with your parents.These  memories while they give you sadness at first they later give you comfort when you realized you loved your parents and they loved you.I hope I can share a small prayer that I had read at my parent's funeral ."The Lord shall have their souls to keep, And I their fond memories when I sleep."
813261
Do not feel guilty b/c you still need to grieve.  No one can you how to react to this situation, you need to do what feels right to you.  Own your grief, anger, and sadness.  You will learn to celebrate her life, but right now you are overwhelmed with her death.  Do try to celebrate her memory but also be respectful to your feelings.  Try a tradition that you and your grandmother did together.  Go visit her grave and talk with her. Pray that she will find happiness in her death and always remember she is by your side.