I really like this gurl and i want 2 put this poem on her desk. Tell me wut u think. would it make her cry?
966759
OMG!! this is amazing. i would cry if i was her
952676
just tell her how you feel, it never hurts to be honest  and in the end you will know how she feels. sure the whole thing could blow up in your face and then again it may not
534436
Good Poem.......lots of potential! Keep it up!! Good Luck on the girlfriend too.....she's out there!!
902836
I suggest go for something romatic. Like a poem showing how you feel about her. I know it may sound really soppy, but girls love that sort of thing. Show your feelings, and she'll appreciate it immensly, I am sure.
157505
Its really not bad.  For only 13 you do show a lot of talent.  It shows both love and hardship.  I would give it a 7.5.  If you are planning on giving it to a girl though, I would try something on the more lighter side.  Girls like sappy.  Also, submit your poem to poetry.com.  Its free and you get a free copywrite for it.  Good job
1070869
Welllll...I belong to a poetry workshop online, and if I reviewed your poem, I might say something like this: Your poem is filled with obvious pain and honest emotion, however I feel in some places your creativity is compromised by the rhymes...by which I mean you are stretching to achieve rhyme in places, using things that otherwise might not fit the best, like "hardware in his ears" and watching him like a "bear". The repetition of bloodstain and drip are a bit much. The image of red blood on your white shirt is good-you should play that up a bit maybe. Poetry is hard work-keep writing and good luck! And please don't cut yourself over a guy, or anything else, btw. I hope that part is just poetic license. :)
483264
You are a very talented writer, you gave me butterfly's and I'm a girl..and STRAIT! If that guy doesn't fall in love with you over that poem than there's something wrong with him! Beautiful!
700844
Very nice...you little romantic.......a poem or a song?\n\nYou wrote this....I love it!!!!!
457202
yes!!! write me a song, but only once in a while.  don't be too dramatic or to pressed (obsessive).  girls like romantic with a touch of thugishness (roughness).  "i know my man is sensitive enough to write me a song about how he feels about me, wild enough to not be afraid of heights, and tough enough to protect me when in harms way"
793415
If u don't put that poem in a book , magazine.or something then u have a problem. I LOVE THAT POEM! It's like...... unexplainable. But i myself love it, i wish that i could find a intelligent,sweet, caring man like you. That is my wish. I wish you the best of Luck for who so ever you're with. She has no choice but to love!!!
490265
Nice poem!!!! can I quote?
675592
hiya, (ino what ya goin through haha im feelin da luv!!)\n i wouldnt colour a picture or write a poem tis a tiny bit geeky?? try and get his mobile numba or giv him urs then wen its over text its much easier!! or just rite him a note sayin that u like him and write ur numba on it and ask him 2 text/fone u, and ask for his numba, uve got nufink to loose u only gonna be there for nine days so wots the worst that could happen?? its better to know that yov've tryed cos other wise wen u move its gonna b doin ur head in with the what if's... and if u think he wont like you cos other girls are thinner and pretteir then he werent worth worryin over in the 1st place, remember sweetie no bloke its worth ur tears... and when you find the one that does he will neva make u cry xxxxx
708201
W ow  dude tell that you want to hear her voice write her a love poem have 1 of her friends put it in there w/choclates and roses if she loves you she will understand!
488692
In all honesty it is such a lovely poem but once u get to the additional info @ 2 minutes, it is a little bit too full on. I personally am a very romantic sensitive person who also writes stuff, but it goes too deep even for someone like me at that point. Despite this if a guy wrote me that poem i would go totally mushy anyway!
452357
Being a poet myself, I have to say it's a good poem, but what it's saying is you are not really dealing with the pain and hurt too well. My heart goes out to you. I hurt for you, and also, identify with you. I'm compiling a book of my poems, called "Pain On Paper". The poetry for us is a release of our pain...........keep on writing! You're doing good! Talk to somebody though, a friend, a counselor.......\nSOMEBODY! Get the pain out!!
308090
would you let me cry with you, pleaze :( . hey am kidding...\n\nbut belive me not every one must have a girl or boy friend...just chill out and relax...
415430
It is Nice and you have good ideas how ever work on your grammar and it is kinda choppy when reading a style that can be vary effective if used correctly how ever not vary fitting for a love poem. Keep up the hard work.