What do you think would cause a very decent man after many years to all of a sudden change and become selfish?
967698
He realizes he isn't or hasn't got what he wants from life and his ego has caused him to worry and focus on his needs instead of those around him.  Which is what usually happens in a mid-life crisis.
195197
People have become depersonalized in a modern world.There is a lack of accountability. We no longer live in small communities that we have to have good relations to survive. If 150 years ago you were rude to the people you interact with, you may not get your harvest sold at a decent price, or the neighbors to help till you fields should you fall sick. These days many are estranged from family.Extended family has always served as a system  of support as well as discipline. Aunts,Uncles and grandparents would step in as surrogate parents should they see even a distant relation misbehaving.People are also weary, I think , and in the hurried pace of life, do not see what being kind will DO for them.Unfortunately, thinking of yourself first has been promoted for years now and rudeness is a side effect.IMO, If everyone calmly and non judgementally said ," You may not realize it, but you were just unnecessarily rude" people may reflect and change their own behavior. Then again, you may get the finger!
161917
There have always been those who will not totally commit.People have cheated and been unfaithful fo hundreds or years.Now as to why;Although I am not a psycologists,I do have some experience and I truly think that most every individual is concerned about getting older and losing their appeal to other people.They often combat this by trying to stay as available and see as many people as they find attractive while they`re young ,so that when they`re older they won`t feel as though they have missed something!
845860
Well he used to be like that, he is somehow changed now............ maybe he is under to much pressure, don't know but I hope he will get better, I think that his problems are in his head not in his legs!!!!!!!!!!
986512
You're going to need professional counseling. It sounds like he has lost motivation in the relationship and the underlying cause may be hard to find without a counselor's help.
518994
I don't think there is anyone alive who wouldn't change something or many things in their life if they could. However, the reality is that we can't, so we must live our lives with the knowledge we have learned from each regret. All things happen for a reason. Even though we may hate somethings about our lives I am sure there are awesome things that have come out of those terrible ordeals. For instance anyone who has gotten married only to get divorced, but had children, would say that having their children was the best thing that ever happened to them. Even though they had to go through it with that old hag or that jerk! So, we can complain all we want, but instead I would like to challenge you to thank the old hag and the jerk for the greatest gift of all......your kids!
392148
Well women do mature faster, so that may be the issue! I think by the time you reach your 20s, he may change his tune, he will be a bit older.....and a bit more mature!
817633
Ok, as someone that's been with my favorite person for over 25 years...\n\n--I have toned down my temper--I pick my battles very carefully!\n--I am MUCH less selfish...I think more of how he will feel about something I am deciding on and I choose activities, etc. that we will both enjoy.\n--I TRY to work a little harder on house work stuff! I'm not great at it, but I'm still trying!
542927
I'm happy to hear that you've moved on with life, but maybe you have to ask yourself what do you want for yourself as well as in a man, but mainly focus on yourself now...after five years (well almost), just think of what's good for you and what you will/won't tolerate from anyone!
651328
Yes there is a terrible decline in behavior, manners and rudness!  My feeling is that people have become more and more selfish with each generation.   There is a desperate lack of consideration for anyone but yourself.  Things like road rage, talking on your cell phone in the movie theater, cutting in line ahead of others, tell people around you that you think you are more important than anyone else around and just put up with it because you're allowed to be rude.  But god forbid someone should do any of those things to you!  Sorry to use the word you so much.  Not directed at anyone in particular, hahaha.
1048752
get over it, he's human.  try being a wonderful loving wife, and less of a nagging, please be more perfect for me wife.  your already married, accept him for who he is right now, and you will be surprised how fast he changes.  if you want to change something someone is doing, change yourself first.  they will have to change to fit into the new equation.  what if you did something he did not like, do you really want to brow beat each other your whole marriage, or do you want to enjoy him.. what if he died tomorrow, you really think he will be on his death bed thinkin of women he looked at, or his loving wife and child?
229049
Anymore it is not that uncommon.  50 years ago you would have been in bad shape.  The most important thing is that you love and take care of your little bundle of joy!
920535
It's called moral decay...and you are right...it's what happens to all societies when they shift from survival to rich and decadent
565728
The older you get, the greater you realize what life is all about.\nExample. A person never marries. That person looks at his life as a failure. One day, his eyes suddenly open and he sees things a little clearer. He has given so much to so many people. He has an overabundance of friends and loved ones. He has no biological children but many who call him dad because he has been there for them when nobody else was. \nThere is realization that there has been many reasons for his abused past. All of his life he grew up being abused by his parents and siblings. He could never find the love of his life. However today he found answere that he never thought he could find answers to. He saw two couples who were in their seventies. The wives of the husbands were using canes and the mens arms were used to help the spouce walk. Those older individuals had great lives in their younger days. Now that they are older, they must give their all to their diseased spouce. They use most of their energy to help their spouce to survive. \nThose who have rough lives from the beginning, may end up being alone. However, they are able to finally have peace and relax. All of those years that he was being abused and being alone has paid off. Love from others that he cared for is there and he has many who love him and care for him. Peace is here for him. Life has many purposes. It is up to us to live as we feel we are supposed to. One day, the light shines on us and we know why bad and good happen. The greatest thing is that the older we get, the better insite as to all of the good in our lives. Get It?
945718
=years ago I married a bonifide PSYCHOPATH.  Of course I didn't know it at the time he was so charming and absolutely perfect in every way.  Then the problems surfaced.  He unwillingly went to a psychiatrist who told me it would take at least 10 years of therapy to "re-wire" his brain and asked me if I would be willing to hang in there.  I said yes, anything for my husband.  Long story short..he quit seeing the psychiatrist cause he thought the doctor was trying to extort money from him, his problems got worse and we got divorced.  True story.
151344
Nothing to add really to the other gentleman's excellent answer.\n\nExcept perhaps that the "good" effect is immediate, whereas the bad effects tend to last a long time, long enough perhaps to ruin a man's character or relationship or marriage.
164455
Let's recap: NOT ALL GUYS ARE LIKE THAT!  \n\n\nAs to why they are selfish... Why do people do what they do?  Self-serving usually has a feel good emotion associated with it... kind of like eating ice cream... the more we have that good emotion the more we want it.  \n\nI guess one could say a guy that is not willing to please may act that way for lack of self confidence.  Maybe it's not that he doesn't want to but HE DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO PLEASE his partner.  It's a bad excuse but it's possible!\n\nI hope I was helpful!\n\ncali_rich_and_smooth@yahoo.com