why would my ex say he doesn't want to get attached?
965880
That's actually very mature for you to do!  However, you have to ask yourself what bothers you more, to lose his friendship or how hurt you are when you are with him.   Right now, he is getting everything he wants from you, and you're not!  Ask yourself who is more important, YOU or HIM!  \n\nI would certainly hope YOU!  I'd say cool it off from him and not see him for a while, only until you're completely over him...to the point that seeing him doesnt hurt you anymore!   Right now, with him or without him, you're hurt!  So why not just be without him.  \n\nIt might be one way of really knowing how much your friendship means to him!
69349
Some people feel that they are getting too attached too quickly because they had just ended a relationship or they are afraid of a one way street commitment... in this case, I would just ask him what he thinks of the relationship.  Does he consider you guys friends or dating... sometimes you have to put the question on the table and cut out the bullcrap
510785
It sounds like he may be trying to push you away in the hopes that *you* break up with *him.*  He may be too chicken to do it himself.  The problem is, is that it's affecting your self-esteem.  You don't deserve to be treated that way- being used is no fun, so don't allow it!  Think about where you see yourself in 5 years.... still in the same place???.... .don't waste any time.  Believe me, there are guys who will treat you right.  We teach people how to treat us- don't allow it anymore!!
522860
Maybe he's losing intrest in u or trying to give u a hint? that he wants to see other people. That's what my ex did, when she said i deserve some one better. Maybe he's trying to get more attention, who knows? tell him stop playing games and come out forward & say what's on his idiotic mind. Us guys can't express our feelings well, unlike u ladies.
757480
He wants to keep his options open... not be tied down. You need to stand up for yourself and tell him its all or nothing. Dont let him run the relationship.... it is supposed to be 50/50. Tell him that you need to be commited to him. If he really cares about you he will comply!
84936
Most guys are clingy like that.. They still want that attention from you... He might or might not want you back... He's probably not fully over you because ifhe was, he wouldnt call u....
206759
He may be trying to do either.  Just remind him that you are now ex-partners, and he needs to keep his social life to himself.  Refuse to get involved in this sort of discussion.  Sounds like it was a good idea to break it off.  He doesn't have clear boundaries.
488915
Guys can tend to get clostrophobic in situations like this. Love having you there but only when they want you there. I'm not sure on his thinking after such a long relationship but it would seem to me that he is distancing himself because he does want out but can't face the fact that he will be alone and probably doesn't want to be alone therefore still calling you.He definately loves you but doesn't know the best way to address the issue, therefore keeps up the pretence that everything is fine by calling you, wanting you etc..\nOn the other hand i could be wrong, i'm no expert
515633
He is still holding on to you in case something happens with current gf and he knows he can get you back. You need to break it totally off with him or he will continue to do this.
721765
he's probably trying not to loose you (for now) by telling you he's leaving.  if he tells you he's leaving he has to deal with hurting and leaving you.  by not telling you he avoids that. you're gonna be hurt when he leaves either way. he might be trying to hang on to you for now. he may just be protecting feelings.
1081223
Despite what he said, it doesn't sound like he is ready to get back together with you.  It doesn't sound like he can put in the time he would need for you to have a meaningful relationship.\n\nI would forget him and move on.
481492
I was in the same situation once. My ex told me he still loved me and told me this and that. And yeah maybe he did. But guys just do that to have you in the palm of there hand. Cuz they know that youll be there for them. If he wont talk to you is because hes making it easier for him to let you go. So my advice do the same, dont talk to him. Itll be easier for you as well. Yeah its tough because alot of thing are unsaid or undone but that something you have to deal with.
481226
If you do not want to get back with your ex then you should not be involved with him and his present partner as just a "FRIEND".\nThat may be the root of the problems that they are having that send him running to you for "ADVISE".\nHe feels comfortable with you because the two of you have history and he maybe testing the Waters to find out if you are willing to forgo a friendship and try a relationship once again.\nThe best thing you can do is steer clear of constant contact with them as a couple.
885652
He basically means he's not interested in YOU. \nTrust me, if he was, he would jump at the opportunity and hook up with you before someone else does. But he said it clearly, he's just not into you.
760272
because you just got out of a bad relationship he doesn't want to be the rebound he is very smart.he will wait until you are completely over it so then he stands a better chance for it to be real with you. he is truely a gentlemen.
751212
It could be either. Relationships are tricky. Especially when it's hard to break the chains between the two of you. If it's been over for 6 months though, and he has not asked to get back together with you, then he might just be looking for and craving the attention and good feelings that you give him. Remember, you are not his consolation prize. I would tell the guy to either shape up or ship out. I'm sure he did leave something great, - I'm also sure you deserve someone who knows what they want. My ex did this to me for a long time and I hung on because I still loved him very much - but he wasn't still in love, he just wanted the attention and affection that I gave him. He wanted me to keep his ego afloat. Stop giving this guy attention and see what he does. Then if he starts to call and come over, either don't let him, or tell him to make a choice. You need communication. Ask him what his intentions are.\nRespect,\n-laura
879329
He means he doesn't want to be totally involved with you, he wants to keep some space.