im having problems with my family and my bf please give me advise or an opinion?
960152
I was once in your shoes.  I met a guy at college, I was 19.  He transferred schools and lived in Florida, so it was about 800 miles away from me.  We had a long distance relationship and my parents were not happy about it.  I was upset at them for trying to "control" my life, but now I'm 24 and married...and not to the long distance boy either!  Looking back, they knew what they were talking about, what they were doing and I was rebellious and immature.\n\nLong distance relationships are different.  You don't see each other on a regular basis, so you don't interact as you would in a typical relationship.  It's so easy to treat someone with respect and treat them like royalty when they are not always at your side.  You won't know if you'll tire of them or get annoyed by their presence because you don't see each other as much.  Each meeting is romanticised and not reality because it's few and far between.\n\nAlso, not everyone gets jealous and causes arguements.  Jealousy is a trait reflective of lack of trust and insecurity.\n\nAnd as far as your parents go, yes, you are 18 and legally an adult.  Why go so far as to go against their wishes and upset them?  Sure you don't need them legally because you can get a job and support yourself, but think about this... Your parents are your parents, and will always be no matter what you say or do.  But this guy may or may not be in your life 10 years down the road.\n\nI say take it slow.  If this guy really cares about you and perhaps wants to marry you, when he can he should get a job near you to see you more often and see if you two work well together.\n\nTake is slow.  You are young and have so much life ahead of you.  (I am young too, and I married young, but I'm glad I dodged that long distance bullet!)
496288
I know how you feel. My boyfriends parents don't hate me, but they tend to always bring up the worst about me. Is he very attached to his brother? My experience has told me that when people are attached theyll do anything to keep them around, even say bad things about the ones they love. With me, any arguments, anything wrong ive said gets brought up over and over again by his mother, and him sometimes and everyonce in awhile they convince him of what theyre saying, usually when hes mad or tired. Anyway, you should care what his family thinks, and the best thing to do is try and get to know them all better and talk to your boyfriend about the situation. I;ve found that getting closer with my BF's family has helped and his sister even defends me now. They're just afraid of losing him, ecspecially since youve been together a long time ( for me its been a year and three months)\n\nI wish you the best of luck.
982448
Hi. Look this is a no win situation for you. I know as I've been there.The best thing to do is ask your man to join you no matter what the situation is. Your kids have to get use to the idea that your have a life and you are entitled to be able to get on with it just as they do. They don't ask your permission as to who they date and don't expect you to be in a mood because of it. My partner and i nearly ended up apart when we tried to please everyone. You have to think of you and your boyfriend as he will be there for you when you need him and they wont as they have there own life to get on with AS you have. Good Luck and Merry Christmas and a happy new year
567899
If you know you can take him...make him hit you or push you first and then kick his ass. I would! Nobody should talk about your family. I know its wrong to fight, but you have to get your respect. Good luck!
292878
Depends why you think this is neccessary.  Does your family not like your guy?  Or does your guy not like your family?  You should consider why your family/your guy is asking to give up the other.  If they loved you they should be willing to except your love or your family.
291311
besides the fact that he doesnt like your family. are there other problems. if yall was together for five years somethin had to be right. or was there always problems? anyway if there was no abuse between the two of you maybe you can get him to like your family
911626
Yeah they are right..... You should really talk to your parents first or if you feel uncomfortable talk to your siblings and friends at least you would be considering their feelings....... But do you really love your boyfriend that much? Are you really sure that you two are going to live happily ever after like in the fairy tales? DO NOT ruin your life... Guys come and go but families are forever.
166963
becuz familys are made to trust that what theyre for! they love you a lot and therefore dont want to hurt you by not being trustworthy. and after having trouble with family you should probably should wait a little before trusting someone with something because in anger people sometimes forget love and not hurting people. ask the family member if you can trust him/her before telling anything and try to make sure they are telling the truth.
334182
if your family has a problem with him, you have to decide who your loyalty will go to. WHY does your family dislike him? Usually family disapproves of people they dont consider good enough for you..at least thats the case with my family.\nI would hesitate even if i loved someone. Giving up life as you know it, your family, everything for just one person is a huge step. I dont think i could do it without a committment of some sort.
328395
You're marrying her..not the family. Yes, families can cause problems in relationships, but if both of you sit down and talk with her family, maybe you can clear things up. Get their viewpoint on the issues that are bothering them but make sure they listen to yours as well. The family more than likely will not disown her....but it's a very good threat for someone who's hurting.
38273
Try talking to them, show them how much you realy love and respect them, and try to compromise. Your family, specially your dad and mom, will always love you, even if they sometimes dont show it due to your unobediance or stubbornness.
617394
I don't think so.  Maybe he is afraid you will not like his family or maybe he thinks is family is embarassing.  I don't think there is anything to worry about as long as the two of you are happy together.\n   It would be okay to ask him why though and find out the answer from him.  All we can do on here is postulate guesses when only your boyfriend knows the real answer.\nGood luck\npeace and love
390967
Give him the lecture, it sounds like he deserves to hear your opinion about things. Don't be too emotional, as that could lead to a big fight where you'd lose sight of the problem. \nDo you go to see his family with him? If you do, you should make it clear that this is important for you, and that by not wanting to go he's not only hurting your feelings, but acting in an immature way.
579040
only you know what to do. but i can try to give advice.  find a job even somewhere you don't want to work.  catch the bus, walk to work.  whwre is your boyfriend? does he have a car?  do any of your friends have cars?  why does your family act like that with you?  be truthful.  prove to the, that you are not lazy stop pointing the finger and take some initative.  don't break up with your boyfriend you may need some one to come through this mess with you.
172164
Kukm kum you donot say why your family donot accept him?\nIf they have a real reasons that is ok but thier reasons are silly go with your man
242419
i dont think your boyfriend has any control over what his family says. what he has control over and what you should concern yourself with is what he does with his family's "suggestions", cos that is really what they are. does he take them to heart and when these suggestions come, does it affect your relationship with him? there really is no clear cut answer, its only "you" that can sort "you" out. dont be too hard on him or yourself, the answers to these things just dawn on you when you least expect.
519457
I GUESS UR FAMILY IS THINKING THAT U MIGHT GO ASTRAY IN A RELATIONSHIP. IF UR MATURE ENOUGH U MIGHT UNDERSTAND IT. IF U R CONFIDENT ENOUGH GO FOR IT.