How to deal with the death of a parent?
969534
Know that as time passes by the pain will lesson. You always feel the void and nothing will fill its place but the pain is lessened with time. Allow grief to be. Allow memories to flow. Remembering can hurt but also help you heal. Talking about your parent will hurt also but will help you to keep their memory vivid. Don,t fear your emotions but know that they are normal. Keep yourself busy because when its somethings that's hurting you too much thinking time can be harmful. Remember that you are not alone in this emotion.
643317
It's always tough when someone looses a loved one.  My advice is to get her to talk about it herself.  Ask her how everything is going...if there's anything that she needs to talk about; let her know that you're there for her.  On the other hand, if that doesn't work, if you know someone that may be aware that her father died, explain that you heard from a friend.  Many people have trouble adjusting when they loose someone.  It's very difficult, so just be patient.  I'm sure it has nothing to do with you.  I wish you the best of luck.\nChris Nalley
308809
Each person is different based on a number of factors including the relationship you had with that parent, the age of your parent at death as well as your current age, how your parent died and your personal feelings about death. I don't think there is a correct amount of time or an appropriate behavior as each situation merits it's own judgement.
764067
It is a sad thing to loose a parent.  It leave a mark on you and a pain that you really never get over.  I happen to be a funeral director and when I lost my parents, I went through the exact same thing.  I know it is of no comfort to you, but as time goes by, you will find that other things in your life keep you occupied.  You will never forget her, but in time God works a miracle in which the sharp pain associated with your loss gets a little less and you can reflect upon the joyous and happy times with a feeling of love and appreciation.  I know you probably find this hard to believe, and so did I, but it does happen.  My father died in 1987 and my mother in 1999, and at times is seems like it was only yesterday.  I hope you are able to find peace and understanding very soon.
811936
I understand your situation - grief can make you feel like this, but please don't try to communicate with your father.  At best, it is nonsense to believe that it is possible; at worst, you are liable to become unhealthily focused on this and that can lead to even greater upset.  Try to reconcile yourself to the idea that your father has gone and, if you are a religious person, have faith in the belief that you will see him again.  Grief counselling is a better idea than meddling with the supernatural.  Good luck.
392895
First... I am sorry for your loss... Second telling him at home with everyone there will be better but I will not be easy... At some level you father knows that he is dying... and that the end is near... So I would say.. be strong... be supportive... and be understanding... \n\nWith that there is no right way to tell him... but I would say just telling him is the best... Let him know the doctors have done all they can... that the sickness is to advance.. and that there is no medical cure for it... That at the illness current status it will overcome him... and that he will pass away.. don't tell him he will just fall asleep unless you are medicating him with heavy pain pills...\n\nOnce you tell him... be prepared for the 5 stages of death... Denial... anger... Bargaining... Depression... and finally acceptance... note that he may go through these steps fast slow... multiple times... and maybe each time he sees a family member or friend... also remember that he will not be the only one... You and all your family and friends will also go through these steps... \n\nAgain I am sorry for you loss... I hope this helps... in some way...
443682
You don't.....\n\nWe lost our daughter 4 years ago.  There really isn't anything you can do to make it go away.  But, as foreign as the notion seems now, it becomes less painful over time.\n\nWe actually ended up moving because I saw her everywhere.  We made a fresh start in another house in another city.  I think that was the beginning of the "better" for me.  I wasn't driving by the hospital she died in anymore, I didn't see her laying on the couch, playing in the yard.\n\nMost of it is in your heart.  You have to figure out the way that makes this okay for your own peace.  Can you see past how much you miss her to realizing that she is no longer in pain?  Can you reconcile it with your religion or spiritual beliefs?  Can you let her go?\n\nIn time you will have more peaceful thought and memories, and the tears that stream down your face every time you hear name will be replaced with a little smile.\n\nBetter days are coming.  I am so sorry for all you have been dealt.  I can honestly say that I know what you're going through........ and you are in my prayers.  If you want someone to talk to... I'm here.
282603
Talk to the people at ALANON.  They will put you in touch with an appropriate grief counsellor who has dealt with this before.
900851
I know what it is to lose a parent whom you love and who loved you.  My father has been gone for 12 years and still I think of him.  We were very close when he died.  I took care of him in his last few years.  He suffered from cancer and it was terrible and I hurt for him everyday.  You never get over the loss of a loved one.  You can only try to live with the loss and only time will heal the hurt and the loneliness death brings.  The thing to always remember is the good times you enjoyed with your father whenever the hurt returns and you begin to really miss him.  Also, if he was a Christian as my father was, know that he is with God and his suffereing is over.  He is in the best place possible and I know I want to be there with my father and I am sure you want the same thing.  Pray to God to heal you of your hurt and bring to your remembrance all the good times you and your father had whenever you begin to miss him and the hurt returns.  Believe me....it will help more than you think.
186179
sadly -- my dad has passed away
1007352
I lost my father at the age of 16.. not only did it send me into an emtional and mental spiral... it affected my work, my hobbies, friends, self-image, you name it.. i started to go down hill at it.\n\nYou will NEVER "get over" the loss of that loved one.. nor will you ever forget them.    \n\nI however, believe that eveything happens for a reason, when the Lord says....."child come home"....... nothing matters, the age, sex, how much they are need here on earth, how "you" feel it wasn't there time.   Everyone is taken when they are...because that is the will of God.\n\nI pray for you...  peace and contentment, strength and understanding.  I hope that through these tough times that you face now and will continue to face some happiness and good can come of this.  Do not be mournful or feel sorrow....   for stuggle is ordained, as is life and death.    \n\nRemember them for who they were, what they did and how they touched you...   do not fill you life with resentment and bitterness trying to understand.  \n\nGet a journal, talk to a counselour... confide in your family and friends.     They are there for you!\n\nPeace & Love
1136784
I was always afraid of my father's death when I was growing up. My dad was my world (mom didn't want me so my dad raised me by himself). My biggest fear was him passing away. One night he left to go to the store for coffee, and was killed by a drunk driver. It hit me like a ton of bricks. No matter how much I tried to prepare myself for that day, it was nothing compared to how I actually felt. My world had crumbled the second that my step brother called me. I got depressed, and closed everyone out. No one understood me like my dad did. Everyone thought I had gone nuts, but it was my way of dealing with it. In two days it'll be three years since it happened. Things haven't been the same since. I got married and didn't have him there to walk me down the aisle, he never got to see his grandson. There's times I'm glad he's not here now because he would beat my husband to death for hitting me, and if he didn't then, he would've after we divorced. Anyways, the best advice I can offer is make the best out of every moment you spend with her and always cherish the times you've had with her. Her death is inevitable, and there is no way to prepare yourself. When it happens, talk to someone, anyone you think my have even the tiniest idea on how you're feeling. Talk about her because remembering her the way she was is the best way to deal with death. It won't get better immediately, but give it time. Since my dad's death I truly feel alone in this world, but I've found out that I do have some true friends who have helped me out through this. If you don't have someone you can talk to, if you like, you can IM me anytime...my yahoo ID is under my profile....think I'm making this too long winded as it is :D.
161173
Call the utility companies, be prepared to give them a copy of the death certificate or obituary.\n\nSo sorry to hear about your mother.
1174465
If these people were dear to you, you can't expect to "get over it" in such a short period of time.  When someone we love dies, the mourning period could take a year or more.  The best advice that I was given after my mother died was to not try to rush the grieving process.  That way, when I ended up in tears, I knew that the healing wasn't complete yet and that that was okay.
285128
You just need to be there for her.  Sometimes feeling like you have to say something can be uncomfortable for the both of you.  When my father died, I just appreciated my friends being there for me to talk to, I had enough people talking to me about what happened as it is.  Also, she may need time to grieve and sort things out.  If she wants to talk about it, she will.  Don't force her.
187933
Well first of all let me say I am sorry about the death in your family.\n   If I were in a situation like yours, what I would do is make a photo album of all her pictures and everything that was apart of her life. Or I would plant a bush of her favorite flowers. \n   I hope this helps!!!\nGood luck to ya!
419950
I'm so sorry for your loss. Your mother must have loved your father very much and we can only imagine the pain that she's feeling right now. If you want to help her, be there for her, let her cry, let her be depressed, let her talk about your father or not. Four months isn't that long of a time frame to move past the grief of losing your best friend and life partner, so first and foremost, give her the time, space and permission to grieve the way she needs to grieve. Remember, she's not only grieving the loss of her husband, she's grieving the loss of her entire way of life...it's a difficult adjustment.\n\nAt the same time, encourage her to make small steps toward a 'normal' life again (although, to her, life will never be 'normal' as she knew it again). Take her out to lunch, to a movie, shopping or just for a cup of coffee. Invite her to your house for dinner, if you have children, bring them around. Maybe take a class together at your local community center. All of these things will remind her that there is still life all around her. \n\nIf you're concerned that her depression goes beyond what would conceivably be considered normal for intense grief, then encourage her to speak to a therapist about it. I know you said she would never consider medication, but maybe she doesn't need it. Maybe she just needs someone to talk to, someone who can give her tools to cope with her pain and grief. Another option would be checking into grief support groups in her area. These groups are a great source of comfort and support...she will be surrounded by people who understand the intensity of the pain that she's feeling right now and will have the support of those who have worked their way through it so that she can see that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. \n\nFunny thing about grieving...we all do it differently, yet no one does it wrong.