I love her but as she harmed me very badly I cannot tell about my love as in case she says NO it will be doom?
952676
just tell her how you feel, it never hurts to be honest  and in the end you will know how she feels. sure the whole thing could blow up in your face and then again it may not
170644
Wow...I am so sorry about this. How horrible for you. You must know in your heart that she simply has been lied to or misled about you, right? (deep down?) Listen to your heart...you probably know she would love you if she knew you, and she may already love you even without knowing you. I think the only thing you can do is pray sincerely. (I'm serious) Ask God to somehow make a way for you to get to know her...and maybe write her a letter, explaining how much you love her. You will probably need to be on the giving end at this point, and maybe for a long, long time until she is able to see and respond to your love. Don't give up. Love always wins. Be patient, and love her in as many ways as you can...my heart is so touched by your story. I wish there was something more I could say or do to help you...Good luck.
974529
Life seems terrible like that sometimes. I think you should face your fears & confront her. Tell he what you feel now & ask her if she feels the same or if there ever will be a chance of that happening. 1 of 2 things will happen if you do that.. yo might get lucky where she accepts your proposal or you may not be lucky where she will reject you. either way you will have a guaranteed answer without a loose end to haunt you for the rest of your life.\n\nIf you dont confront her, you wont know if there was ever a chance or if she simply didn't want to be with you. In this case you will forever be haunted by the questions beginning with 'what if..'.\nFurther more you would have created that pain all on your own from self-pity & disappointment in self pride as a man.\n\n\n...I've said my say now its time for you to do what you think is best for YOU.\n\nAnd finally.. if you do decide not to confront her & you find yourself losing her in time & space. Your only option will be to force yourself to forget her otherwise the pain will eat at you forever. How do you forget? Change your lifestyle & meet new people & create opportunities for yourself to fall in love with someone new.
704105
u r a brave man, There are many ways to commit suicide, but u have to decide, how u want to die. Peacefully or painfully.\nIf u die peacefully then u will suffer even after death, but if u suffer painfully u will rest in peace.\n\nsince 5 yrs ur in love, but still she doesnt have guts to come with u. May be there is some problem with u, u could not give her so much love, that she wants. she should have felt that if i miss him, i would be missing everything in my life.\nok , now lets come to the point.\n\nNever try to get her with help of sympathy, always talk bold, give wise solutions, let her choose. Say only one thing, what u do i accept it, but never take any decision, which seperates u from me.....................
988302
If she truly loves you-she won't.  You stated that you love her alot and as long as she feels that and you have been honest with her who cares.  Life is too short and when you find someone you love-let go of judgement and hold on tight to love.  People that are secure and confident might actually find your past adventure a turn on.
214459
look, you made an honest mistake, i mean from the sound of things, it came from the right place. grow a bit of a spine and admit to her that what you did was wrong, but explain to her how what she did made you feel; that maybe she should have gone about it in a different way. don't beat yourself that much over it, you are only human and will make some mistakes, especially with those you love.
1011124
Sounds as if she may have more than she can handle and telling you will be a burden. If you're that curious and care for her sit down and ask her with an open heart and a thoughtful ear.
808526
Apparently, you think she's been raped. So I would say, instead of broaching that word, ask her who's hurt her in her past. Let her know that you're aware that she's afraid to get close, that you understand, but need to know if there's something you can do to get past her walls. Let her know that you want to love her, that you care for her, that you won't judge her but that you feel whatever it is, it's coming between you both now and stopping your progress.\n\nMaybe that will help. The other thing is, there may be things you say or do that trigger the incident for her, if there is one. Be cognizant of that, but don't ask. At times when she's close, she could be fighting with the memories and trying to overcome them. She's still processing. Give her time and when needed, space.
1063804
withdraw yourself for some time. don't make it worse than it already is! she is 10 years older than you. even if she loves you, she might also be totally confused now.\n\ntime will solve it.\nin any case, you did enough because you told her about your feelings. don't go crazy if she is quiet. get yourself busy with your own things for a while. maybe you can make peace some time later.\n\nlook. I also did like this with my closest male friend two weeks ago! (what a coincidence). but here the reason was different: I fell in love with HIM. and we also had a fight before that.\nof course we had, cause everybody was expecting something else from the whole relationship than he/she got!\nso it is the same: we don't talk and also don't write now.\nI told him not to!\ncause I can't take it any more, cause it hurts, cause... blahblahblah!\n\nbut the truth is that now after two weeks I calmed down and I would really want to make peace - if I only knew how!!!\n\nI think it is best you give her and yourself TIME.\n"and time can do so much...\noh myyyy love.. my darling, I hunger for\nyour touch\nalone"\n:-)\n\ncomm'on, put some good music and cheer up.\nyou are not the only one on this planet who messes up friendship for love!\nhere is another one, hellooo there!\nbut this one, over here.. ye she is female.\n \n((maybe you want a younger woman than 31? can we exchange ur ex-friends? instead of writing them poems? well, I haven't started writing poems yet, but I must tell, I am not far from it!!!\nI already sent him songs! hm.\nit is only the world cup keeping me mentally busy now, otherwise I would be writing poems and crying all day!\n\nI am OLNY 25, by the way! don't despair, the sea if full of good fresh fish!!!))
609418
Honey you don't need that. If you don't love her, you need to break it off. As for the threats, if you think she is serious, you need to inform someone that can help. Maybe a parent, a family friend, someone you trust. Because you need to be happy and you shouldnt have to stay because you are a good guy and don't want to hurt her. Even good people can break off a relationship. And to tell you the truth.... If someone is truly going to hurt themselves they are going to do it no matter what. It is not your fault she feels like that, and you cannot make it your problem, because then that means that you put her before yourself, and you dont even love her. That seems silly.
1020596
Just tell her how u feel and all she wants to know is if u really love her or else she wouldn't ask u to do such a thing...
221096
Boy this is a hard one.  Don't you think she might aready suspect it anyway?  I don't know.  Just sit her down and tell her how you feel.  After the shock she will be spuportive, I am sure.  Are you sure you want to tell her?
1068495
Yeah, tell her the truth. The truth will set you free, as they say. Tell her exactly what you said here, that you love her so much that you don't want to involve her. If you can't bring yourself to tell her what it is that happened, just tell her she will be at risk if you did. Wow, I feel for you, best of luck, I hope your problems will be solved soon.
551961
Apparently, you never loved her.  You were into the chase for her.  You have hurt her badly.  As a person, you will need to grow from this and explain to her about your feelings.  She will feel betrayed by you.  She probably knew that you were not serious, but your persistance made her second guess herself and accept you as a boyfriend.  Know you have thrown this in her face.  Very sad.
420214
the only thing i can tell you, and after youve been through a bad hurt, this is hard to see, but, i have had several, and life would not be worth living without love, and that may just sound like a saying, but it wouldnt, your not happy now, and obviously, its because you dont have love, and you will never be happy in life standing outside the fire, you need to let this guy know that your interested, live life, you will have tons of regrets if you have to go on wondering if something could have happened between you.
1031378
Wow.  I did read your blog and cried for you.  \n\nDon't listen to Meezerz.  It's not that she's bad, she's just misinformed and speaking from her fear.\n\nYour fear is the least likely part of you to tell the truth.  Fear is too biased to know the truth.\n\nI don't think you're nuts at all.  I think you have had that scenario playing in your mind in some form ever since it happened six years ago.\n\nI'm so thankful that you are in therapy and that you are giving the voices in your head a voice in therapy.  There's an odd sort of safety in blaming yourself.  But in the end, it's not as safe as it looks.  It ends up hurting you more.\n\nWhatever control is to be gained by assuming responsibility for something you could not control is not worth the guilt and the shame and the lie you are forced to live.\n\nThough he took the place your first lover should have, he was in no way a lover.  He was a disrespectful, sub-human, bully.  Don't put him and any form of the word love together if you can help it.\n\nIn the future, the man who really loves you, really will love you for the first time.  No matter what this experience took from you, or caused you to do in reaction, when you are free from the baggage this experience has thrust upon you, you will be free to love for the first time.  \n\nYou continue to be in my thoughts and prayers.
259372
Without knowing the circumstances it makes it difficult to answer your question.\n\nI think you have to go with what you feel.  If she did something to you that you don't feel you can forgive than no you shouldn't.