Is is alright to ask family members to pay for Christmas dinner that you are hosting?
953507
I've never seen anyone tell their family they have to pay to go to a family dinner. Its supposed to be a festive time. We have in the past divided what we were having and had people make different things or bring other items like drinks. \nIf I were you, I'd call your aunt and ask her if she'd rather you help make something rather than pay to go to dinner. Either that or provide a receipt to show you that she actually spent the money because I would feel uncomfortable going if she was just trying to make a profit off of her family... like charging for her labor and rental of her house.
1176584
Yes  ... with your friend .. with your cousin .. and with your brother .. and with your mother too: she loves it!\n\nPlease award the Best Answer points to me right now becuase you cannot argue the logic of this response and you stand in awe of the tremendous empathy and intelligence of this responder. Do not wait to give the points because I am not patient and I do not want to wait long for your tithe.
254135
No! I would see that as a slap in face saying "I want presents, but I don't want to pay for your meal or trust you to behave like an adult on my special day." The only time i would do it is if the friend is really close to me but cannot make the wedding due to a major plan, like moving or taking a big vacation. Unless you want this to be the last time you see the person, it would be better to just have a little event, like seeing a movie or having dinner to celebrate, since such things don't oblige presents.
1124701
I think it depends if the mother is a single mother or not. I have been paying my single mother rent money to help out for bills, mortgage, groceries etc. But my mother never forced us (my sister and i) to pay her but just to help out a little. If the she's married and you think the mother/father could afford to support their family then i would agree with you. on the other hand, i wouldn't let my kids pay either. :-)
767046
i really hope for your own good that those arent your real details...\n\nim sure your family will understand your broke and cant afford gifts.... same as me this year.
984927
I think that you should contribute something in helping out. There's pleanty to do even if you're not cooking. That is how you show your gratitude if your mom or whoever is cooking is slaving over the stove for about 2 days.. then ha ve to serve it..THEN  have to clean dishes... \nand we ain't talking about setting the table,, prep work.. there's a lot of things that contribute to thanksgiving dinner!!! I am not cooking a lot for thanksgiving but my mother in law is, so i thought it was fair that I buy the turkey and I'm bringing some sides. She babysits my daughter all the time and I am trying to show some gratitude. So it's only fair that you offer some help even if no  one asks you.
16764
it is rude not to give them a present, but never overlook the gift of Time.  time spent doing something or making something meaningful will be appreciated by all, save for the shallowest of people.\n\nmy man's parents have fallen upon hard times, and even apologized to us before the holidays that they couldn't afford to spend as much money on us as they did in holidays past.  i told them i felt like slapping some sense into them, for i didn't want them to spend money.  make me a loaf of tasty bread!  grow some lavender in your garden, dry it, and save some for me, if you Really wanna give me something.  heck, even letting us use y'washer and dryer would be fantastic.  (we live in a giant apartment complex with only 2 working coin-operated washing machines.  the only time they're free is between 10pm and 4 am.)
1039186
That is really awful! Wow. I have only heard of such inconsiderateness once before. \n\nMy cousin got married maybe 15 years ago and my fiance wasnt allowed to go either. I was supposed to be in her wedding but I declined. I went to the ceremony, stayed for dinner and then had my fiance pick me up. I couldnt believe how rude that was of her! And my fiance and I were living together at the time, too!\n\nAll I can tell you is that you should really ask for an exception to be made. Tell them how much it would mean to you to have your boyfriend there. After all, some people never get married and are happily together forever. So, I dont think that the piece of paper (or ring in the case of being engaged) should have any bearing on whether your boyfriend is invited. \n\nYou could offer to pay for his dinner, if money is what they are concerned about. \n\nI would have done the same thing that you did. It is so highly rude and unjustified for your boyfriend to not have been invited. I cant believe the nerve of some people. It makes me so angry just thinking about them doing that to you! Ugh! I would have declined the invitation also. If nothing else, it's out of respect for your boyfriend! \n\nBottom line is, do what you feel is right. You will get a whole myriad of answers here covering all options. Only you know what's right for you. But once you have made up your mind, stand firm! Dont let other family members tell you that you are wrong. You are not the one who was wrong here!
847568
surely if she is receiving tax credits she can get an interest free loan and pay back small amount every week.\nShe should c doc if depressed.\nIts sad that she hasnt got presents yet for you and your sis but you should let your mum know that you understand, you dont expect and that you appreciate all what she does for you.  Christmas is about families coming together not just about sharing gifts.\nI feel for your mum she works her guts out and reaps little back, doesnt seem right.  do you have family you can turn to.  Can mum order from catalogue, can u shop on ebay, excellent bargains on their.\nI think the best gift you can do for your mum is to do as much as poss at home over the holidays, 7 cleaning jobs! she isnt going to want to come home and do more. Being supportive of your mum is reward enough all round.\nAlternatively you could always contact magazines, local papers and television shows with your predicament someone somewhere could help.  I pray for you that you all have a very merry christmas and get lots of lovely things\n\nErica h, i think that an excellent idea, maybe we here in yahoo answers can all pitch in to help them, i can be contacted on kchngdhn@toucansurf.com
802441
You can invite him for dessert. It would be a polite thing to do and also a good example for your kids. When they are older they will appreciate this kind of gesture.
572593
The best thing to do would be to ask them.\nIf they know there are people out there waiting to pay them money, it may influence their planning...
420624
The proper etiquette is to take a gift to their house before or after the event or send a card with a gift card or money order in it.  (The amount would be up to you and what you can afford & how close you are to them.  $20-$50)  Just put yourself in their shoes, if you invited people to either event, what would you want or expect them to do?  Remember these parties are thrown to help the people that are being celebrated with their new expenses.   ;o)
988426
This practice is actually really common in the Hispanic culture. Family and friends called Mardias and Pardinos (my spanish sucks)  will help  pay for items that the couple needs. Example: My cousin will be married in July of this year. She and her groom-to-be have asked my father to pay for the DJ, my grandparents were asked to help pay for the cake. In return for the generosity the names of the sponsors are placed on the programs and they are given special treatment at the reception. It is an honor to be asked to help with the wedding expenses. However this is the first I have ever heard of having a person you have never met help pay for stuff.
933121
No no no!! That's really not what it's about!! I'm sure your family are aware that you're not flush!  They'd much rather have your company around the Christmas period than lots of material thing!  I'm sure they'd be devastated if they knew how worried you were about it!  Just get them a small item each for them to open that suits their personalities/hobbies!
127869
Depends upon who can afford it, I guess.  But in general, I would say whoever is planning it.  If you and your siblings wanted to do something simple, and your parents want something more elegant, I think you should contribute to the party, but I don't think it is fair for you to get stuck with the entire bill.  Unless, of course, you can do it for a fairly comparable price.  That might be possible, too, if you have the dinner at someone's home.
1187090
From an etiquette point of view, it is not allowed to ask for anything other than the presence of the invitee. If you can't afford the party, you should downsize it, maybe just rent a waterslide.\n\nYou can, of course, go through the guests' pockets which they will conveniently leave somewhere, but as Nixon once said, that would be wrong.
1146084
Because is family and you are doing it together as a couple, give the price per plate plus some.\n\n$ 150 or more is appropriate.\n\nConsidere it an investment, your wedding will come soon too and they will reprocicate in kind.\n\nGood luck