What does a blonde Owl say?
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a blonde owl says \n\nMOOO!
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Starling - Sturnus vulgaris (how rude!)\nwestern meadowlark - Sturnella neglecta (how sad!)\nsavannah sparrow - Passerculus sandwichensis (how yummy!)\nThen there's the one that cracks me up even though it doesn't mean anything else in English: roseate spoonbill - Ajaia ajaja. The j's are pronounced like y's.\n\nSorry, I only know birds!
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The owl is from the Owls of Athena, included on the university's seal. See the link in Source.
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Blonde Jokes:\n\nThe Top 10 Dumb Blonde Inventions (11-18, I made Up and Found On Internet):\n\n1) Waterproof Towel\n2) Solar-Powered Flashlight\n3) Submarine Screen Door\n4) A Book On How To Read\n5) Inflatable Dart Board\n6) Dictionary Index\n7) Helicopter Ejector Seat\n8) Powdered Water\n9) Designer Camouflage\n10) Waterproof Tea Bag\n11) Wireless Dog Leash\n12) Silent Car Alarm\n13) Glass Hammer\n14) Brick Window\n15) See-Through Swimsuit\n16) Pet Rock\n17) Wooden Soap\n18) Pedal-Powered Wheel Chair\n\nMore Jokes:\n\nQ: How do blonde brain cells die ? \nA: Alone. \n\n\nQ: How do you change a blonde's mind? \nA: Blow in her ear. \n\nQ: How do you measure a blonde's intelligence? \nA: Stick a tire pressure gauge in her ear! \n\nQ: How do you keep a blonde busy all day? \nA: Put her in a round room and tell her to sit in the corner. \n\nQ: How did the blonde die ice fishing? \nA: She was run over by the zamboni machine. \n\nQ: How do you get a blonde to marry you? \nA: Tell her she's pregnant. \n\nQ: How does a blond spell farm? \nA: E-I-E-I-O \n\nQ: How does a blond kill a fish? \nA: She drowns it. \n\nQ: A blond going to London on a plane, how can you steal her window seat? \nA: Tell her the seats that are going to London are all in the middle row. \n\nQ: What do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you? \nA: Run....she's got a hand grenade in her mouth. \n\nQ: What do you call a blonde golfer with an iq of 125? \nA: a foursome. \n\nQ: What do you call a blond mother-in-law? \nA: An air bag. \n\nQ: How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday? \nA: Tell her a joke on Wednesday. \n\nQ: What is the blonde doing when she holds her hands tightly over her ears? \nA: Trying to hold on to a thought. \n\nQ: Why did the blonde stare at frozen orange juice can for 2 hours? \nA: Because it said 'concentrate'. \n\nQ: Why did the blonde take two hits of acid? \nA: She wanted to go on a round trip. \n\nQ: Why did the blonde snort Nutra-Sweet? \nA: She thought it was diet coke. \n\nQ: Why did the blonde bake a chicken for 3 and a half days? \nA: It said cook it for half an hour per pound, and she weighed 125. \n\nQ: Why did the blonde put her finger over the nail when she was hammering? \nA: The noise gave her a headache. \n\nQ: Why did the blonde have blisters on her lips? \nA: From trying to blow out lightbulbs. \n\nQ: Why did the blonde climb up to the roof of the bar? \nA: She heard that the drinks were on the house. \n\nQ: Why don't blondes have elevator jobs? \nA: They don't know the route. \n\nQ: Why do blondes work seven days a week? \nA: So you don't have to retrain them on Monday. \n\nQ: What is the difference between a dead blonde in the road, and a dead skunk in the road? \nA: There are skid marks in front of the skunk. \n\nQ: What is the difference between Elvis and smart blondes? \nA: Elvis has been sighted. \n\nQ: What is the difference between blondes and traffic signs? \nA: Some traffic signs say stop. \n\nQ: What's the difference between a blonde and a shopping cart? \nA: The shopping cart has a mind of its own. \n\nQ: What did the blonde do when she noticed that someone had already written on the overhead transparency? \nA: She turned it over and used the other side. \n\nQ: What did the really dumb blond say when someone blew in her bra? \nA: Thanks for the refill. \n\nQ: How does a blonde commit suicide? \nA: She gathers her clothes into a pile and jumps off. \n\nQ: How do you plant dope? \nA: Bury a blonde. \n\nQ: How do you get a one-armed blonde out of a tree? \nA: Wave to her. \n\nQ: How does a blonde measure his/her IQ? \nA: With a tire gauge! \n\nQ: How do you make a blonde's eyes light up? \nA: Shine a flashlight in their ear. \n\nQ: How do you kill a blonde? \nA: Put spikes in their shoulder pads. \n\nQ: How do blondes pierce their ears? \nA: They put tacks in their shoulder pads. \n\nQ: How do you drown a blond? \nA: Leave a scratch and sniff at the bottom of the pool.
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the red head \nbecause the blonde has to stop and ask directions
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SAGE :-)\n\nI'm a rather fat feathery owl called Sage,\nI've been sitting here now for simply an age,\nI'm ready and waiting to go to the treat,\nand I'm hoping there will be plenty to eat.
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It is definitely blond!Blondes have this special angel look going on.But they gotta be naughty angels!
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How do confuse a blonde?...put her in a circular room and tell her to sit in the corner \n\nQ: Why do blondes have TGIF on their shoes?\nA1: Toes Go In First.\nHow do you drown a blonde? a. Put a scratch and sniff at the bottom of the pool. \n\n\nOne day two blondes walk into a perfume shop. The one blonde picks up a bottle of perfume that is titled "Viens Chez Moi." \nThe blonde asks the manager what it means, and the manager says it means, "Come to Me." \nSo the blonde smells the perfume and asks her friend, "Does this smell like come to you? Because it doesn't smell like come to me."\n\nA blonde is like a pooltable, put a dollar in and she'll rack your balls\n\nQ: How can you tell a blonde's been in your fridge? \nA: There is lipstick on the cucumber.\n\nWhy did the blonde run out of shampoo? \nShe kept following the instructions: lather, rinse, repeat!\n\nWhat do you call a blonde with half a brain? \nGifted \n\nWhat's the difference between a blonde and the internet? \nNot everyone's been on the internet!\n\nQ: What's worse than a redhead and a brunette trying to build a house underwater? \nA: A blonde trying to set fire to it. \nDid you hear about the two blondes that froze to death at the drive-in theatre?They went to see "Closed For The Winter". \nA blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender, "Wanna hear a blonde joke?"\nIn a hushed voice, the guy next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, you should know something."\nOur bartender IS blonde, the bouncer is blonde. I'm a 6' tall, 200 lb black belt. The guy sitting next to me is 6'2", weighs 225, and he's a rugby player. The fella to your right is 6'5" pushing 300 and he's a wrestler. Each one of US is blonde. Think about it, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?"\nThe blind guy says, "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times." \n\nA blonde, redhead, and brunette were looking at a dictionary for the hardest words they knew. The brunette's word was quizzical. The redhead's word was photosynthesis. The blonde's word was dick. \n\nA blonde goes into an electronics store. She wants to buy a TV. She picks one out and goes to pay for it. She says "i would like to buy this TV. The cashier says "I am sorry but we dont sell to blondes." So she goes and buys a wig. The next day she puts in the wig and goes back to the store. The cashier says agian, "I am sorry but we dont sell to blondes" so she dyes her hair black. The next day she goes back. the cashier says again, "I am sorry but we dont sell to blondes" So she asked "How do you know I am blonde!" The cashier says "because that isnt a TV its a microwave." \na blond went in to a hairdresser and sit's down on her usual seat when the lady with sissors comes out she says to the blonde to take her head phones off but the blonde says she would die without them so the lady with sissor's cuts the tips of the ladies hair until she falls a sleep the lady gentaly removes her headphones so shecan cut the rest of the hair but just as she was trimming the blonde fell down dead so the lady with sissor's wonders if the headphones had anything to do with the deat h so she puts the headphones on to hear what they were saying and it said : BREATH IN.....BREATH OUT.....BREATH IN.....BREATH OUT. I usually don't like blond jokes (or jokes that make fun of people) but here is my favorite:\n\nA blonde and a lawyer are on a plane to LA. The lawyer turns to the blonde and says lets play a game, I’ll ask you a question and i you get it wrong you give me $5 and visa versa. the blonde tired and wanting to get sleep said thanks but I’m going to pass. the Laywer said how about if i get a question wrong I’ll give you $500 and you’ll only have to give me $5. The blonde liked the idea and said ok the lawyer aske
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She was blonde and needed to ask for directions?\n\nShe was blonde and got lost?\n\nThe chicken decided the trip was too far too make?\n\nTo see what he could see?\n\nI just made these all up in my head.  Happy hunting.\nP.S.  Your joke sucked.  : )
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guy- do you wanna hear a joke?\n\nGirl- sure (if she says no your outta luck)\n\nguy- (grabs her hand a draws a line down the center of her hand using his finger.) Okay, the rabbit is on one side of this river.  The fox is on the other, the fox can't go around, across, through, over or under the river.  How does the fox get to the rabbit? (All the while holding her hand)\n\nGirl- I don't know how? (And if she comes up with any other answer, just tell her no!)\n\nGuy- He can't, I just wanted to hold your hand.\n\nHa ha ha!!  It sure got me!
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Snowy the Owl...he's WAY cool!
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That's the best blonde joke I've heard in a while. LOL! Tell another.
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She Was Soooooooooooooo Blonde \n\nShe Was Soooooooooooooo Blonde: She took the ruler to bed to see how long she slept. She sent me a fax with a stamp on it. She thought a quarterback was a refund. She put M&M's in alphabetical order. She thought Boyz II Men was a day care center.\nShe Was Soooooooooooooo Blonde: She thought Eartha Kitt was a set of garden tools. She thought General Motors was in the army. At the bottom of the application where it says "sign here,"she put "Sagittarius."\nShe Was Soooooooooooooo Blonde: She tripped over a cordless phone. She spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice can because it said, "concentrate." She told me to meet her at the corner of "WALK" and "DON'T WALK." She asked for a price check at the Dollar Store.\nShe Was Soooooooooooooo Blonde: She studied for a blood test. She thought she needed a token to get on "Soul Train." She sold the car for gas money! When she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 bus twice instead. When she went to the airport and saw a sign that said "Airport Left," she turned around and went home.\nShe Was Soooooooooooooo Blonde: When she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved. She thinks Taco Bell is the Mexican phone company. If she spoke her mind, she'd be speechless. She thought that she could not use her AM radio in the evening. She had a shirt that said "TGIF," which she thought stood for "This Goes In Front."
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The exhausted blonde dragged herself into the doctor's office.\n\n"Doc, the neighborhood dogs bark all night. I can't get a wink of sleep."\n\nThe doctor examined her and found her some samples. "These new sleeping\npills work great. A few of these and your troubles will be over."\n\n"Great," said the blonde. "I'll try anything!"\n\nThe next week, she returned, looking even worse. "Doc, your plan stinks.\nI'm more tired than I was before!"\n\n"I don't understand how that could be," said the doctor, shaking his head.\n"Those are the strongest pills on the market!"\n\n"Maybe so, but now I spend all night chasing those dogs and even when I\nfinally catch one, I can't get him to swallow those pills!"
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For which type of bird?  The blonde, brunette,  etc or the ones that fly.....well  even those fly these days :)
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here's a good one that isn't too short. \n\nA blonde and a brunette are watching the news, where a man is going to jump off a building. The brunette says "I betcha 10 euro that he'll jump". The blonde says "I betcha 10 euro that he won't". So they accept. \nThen the man jumps. The blonde starts to give the brunette the money when the brunette says "I can't take your money, i saw this on the 5 'o' clock news already". The blonde says "Yeah, I saw it too, I just didn't think he'd jump again"!!
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How do I write the sounds that chickens make?\nBOWK!