Is it harder for you to forgive yourself, or to forgive others?
954925
oh, that is a very hard question , but i am going to say forgive myself. i tend to have a shorter memory when it comes to others, i have to live with myself. i never can seem to escape my mistakes and they can play repetitively in my head, making forgetting impossible sometimes.
659919
The forgiveness part is easy it is he forgetting part that takes a lot longer to accomplish.  I think that you can forgive a person in your heart, but still not want to be around that person for some time.  If you act like nothing happened with this person, then she or he will continue to think that they can treat you this way.  I feel that we teach people how to treat us, and you don't want to show them that it is OK to hurt you. I say, give it some time, you'll know if they are truly sorry, and deserve your friendship again by their actions.  Good luck, hon.
109656
Forgiveness comes from deeper inside than any other emotion, and is the only thing that separates humans (spiritually speaking) from monkeys.  \n\nYou can teach a dog patience.  If you have patience but no forgiveness, then your life is shallow and empty.  If you have forgiveness, then your life can be righteous and wonderful whether you are patient or not.\n\nOn the other hand, if you forgive someone for messing up your life, it doesn't mean you have to take them back.  You can forgive them and walk away.  \n\nJust because you have forgiven someone doesn't mean they were right, it just means that they are not your problem anymore.
1179633
It is probably the hardest thing to do when it involves something major like rape, murder, infidelity, etc.  When it is accomplished, it can also give you the most freedom you've felt in a long time.  Personally, I don't know how possible it is for us sinful, selfish, vengeance minded people to attain the state of complete forgiveness.  It is so difficult to give up your right to get even.  You so want to see the other person fall for what they did.  Often we don't want to relinquish it.  In many ways, I think I have done it before, but I haven't been in a position to say something like; 'well you cheated on me!' (example not real)  I think I am still selfish enough and immature enough to let it slip out.  The problem is, is that we  have long memories and even though we have forgiven them, we haven't forgotten and that will always make us wary of trusting them again.  God does it, as Corrie Ten Boom said of forgiveness, God casts our sins into the deepest part of the sea and puts up a no fishing sign.  Corrie was a Dutch girl when she was imprisoned by the Germans during WW2 and suffered immeasurably.  Tough situation, but great question!
115314
I have pondered this same thing..\n\nI can forgive someone for treating me poorly, but I will never forget how I felt when that happened.. \n\nI think it has to do with a little self preservation, and more to what you want to surround yourself with, and  not wanting to put yourself in a position to face the same types of offenses.\n\nForgetting it a very hard thing to do, because you naturally associate some things together.. like a favorite song from high school that instantly makes you feel a certain way when you hear it again, or the first time you laid eyes on your first born, or the first time your heart was broken.  You retain this data (I think) because it's all a learning process that later will help you value what is and isn't important. And the emotions tied to those things are memorized with your heart.
486548
None. Even if the people deserve it. If I offend someone I usually end up apologizing to them. What's the point of being just another asshole?
911571
It's absolutely necessary to forgive yourself.  If you don't, you'll carry the guilt around.  So, yes, you can do it.\n\nIf you're having a hard time being able to do that, I would seek out a good pastoral or therapist referral.  Forgiveness is critically important in all aspects of life.
844002
I tend to forgive - even the worst things that have ever been done to me because people don't realize that moving on takes forgiveness. Even when it seems impossible to forgive those who may have done horrible things to us in our lives, we should forgive them - not so much for them as for our own sanity and well-being. It takes courage but it is possible to forgive even the worst things that have happened. It helps me get some kind of closure and peace inside which holding onto things never provides. Holding on and never letting go makes everything stay ao alive - so real and so unforgettable.\n\nOf course, there are those things that I cannot forget - unfortunately... words said, things that have happened. The human mind just does not seem to forget these things no matter how hard you with it would - we remember... I remember. And that is why the forgiveness is so essential - because we remember and everytime we do, it is not healthy for feelings of hate, anger, or sadness to overwhelm us. It is living in the past and that is not good for anyone.\n\nI was never the one to hold onto things, never apologize, stay in an arguement, etc - it is just not in me. I do not cope well with any conflicts so I am the one who apologizes even when I am not the one who should.. I just can't stand tension - escpecially with those that you know you love and who love you.. I see it as so pointless and such a waste of time - I always did. And I think I forgive people too easily sometimes perhaps.. just so we can move on and so no one stays hurt any longer. I am just that kind of person. \n\nSo, I don't forget - because I can't. But - I do forgive, sometimes just for my sake - to ease my own pain and to try to let go and move on.\n\n:o)
952841
Every single person you see who passes you in the street has made mistakes, not one of us are exempt from making mistakes, that is because we are human beings.  We do what we do for various reasons...could be the crowd we hang around with...peer pressure.....it could be because we are hurt and want revenge...it could be for a lot of reasons.  But we all grow up, we all learn about sociably acceptable behaviour and that only comes with experience and time.  If we didnt make mistakes, we would be pretty boring people because it is only when we make mistakes do we trully learn who we are.  What has happened in the past had to happen, simply because it did, you cant go back, you cant change it, but you can certainly change the future.  You can choose not to make those kind of mistakes ever again.  Forgiveness is pretty easy if you have a logical mind.  If you can think that the mistakes you made were because of a particular situation in your life, and you did what you did because that was your frame of mind at the time, then you will be able to forgive yourself.  You are not that person any more....that was the old you.  Sometimes I look back on my past and think to myself...."that wasnt me"...and it wasnt.  I am the me I am now,  the me who made all those mistakes and it is those mistakes that has moulded me into the nice person I am today.\n\nIf you dont learn by your mistakes then you wont grow.  You know they are mistakes, so you have learnt and you will become stronger for it.  You need to put your mistakes where they belong,  they were mistakes of the past, so keep them in the past.  Your future is where the positive stuff lay.  Guilt is such a wasted emotion because the only thing it does is make you feel bad, it doesnt change anything...it cant change what has happened...so think logically about it...you cant change it, so what is the good about beating yourself up over it.  Use the energy you have with guilt and put it to more constructive use.  Move forward, do things that make you feel good about yourself, maybe go and do some voluteer work.  Start thinking good things, start doing good things and you will find out the mistakes of your past gives you the knowledge you have today.  You could use that knowledge for good.  You may be in a position where your mistakes could help some person in the future because you have been there, done that.  Use your mistakes to your advantage....learn from them.  You can do it.  We all make mistakes,  it is something we have all suffered from at some time.  The reason I know you are a decent and wonderful person is because you feel bad about your mistakes....that shows you have a conscience, therefore you cannot be a bad person because bad people dont have a conscience.  Move on...go on to achieve wonderful things and you will have your mistakes to thank for your success.
275239
It all depends on what she did to you. Yes, God does say we need to forgive people, but not for others. It's for ourselves so that we do not have bitterness and hate in our hearts. The reason being is simple...it opens doors for other intities to enter. My advice, recognize that she is only human, and that we all make mistakes. Just remember though...God says to forgive those who tresspass against us...not that we need to continue relationships w/ them. Good luck to you!
775127
I would honestly like to apologize to all the people out there that i ever hurt or took something from. I want people to forgive me so i try my best to forgive others. U know this was a good one, thanks to u for that b/c i feel better saying sorry to all the people out there i must of hurt.
730573
forgive yourself and forgive her....then you will be at peace
874543
Forgiveness is VITAL to a Christian.  Jesus said that if we do not forgive, his Heavenly Father will not forgive us.\n\nHowever, forgiveness is extremely difficult.  It is easier to forgive a dead person than a live one, because the dead one can no longer hurt you.  But it would be harder to forgive a murderer than a ranter, but Richards did "murder" with his tongue.\n\nWe do need forgive him, and he needs to examine himself.\n\nBTW, forgiving isn't the same as excusing.  We forgive when we can't excuse.
1095797
no.   If someone does something that hurts very much, it is absolutely possible to NOT forget or forgive for the rest of your life.  I'm living proof.  I have not forgiven my parents for something they did, and I have not spoken to them for 8 years.  Also, I do not forgive any one who has hurt me over the years.  If what someone does , hurts so much that you can not forget it... then you can't forgive it.  It is their problem... not yours.  Go on with your life and forget about them.. Why have someone in your life that hurts you ?
975335
There's no "political sin" and nothing to be forgiven. If you 've been saying what you feel to be true, where is the fault? I will never apologize for my opinions or emotions because then I would only be a liar to both myself and the people I've compromised for. If you feel like you're going the wrong direction, just change it. Don't dwell on past actions with regret because ultimately they bring you to the point you want to be at (if you're lucky enough to find that point), and there's really no other way to get there.
527359
Trust is earned, once trust has been broken it is hard to regain if it is ever regained.\n\nI would suggest you look into how the bond of trust was broken.  Can you actually forgive the other person?  A person may never forget what happened but, you have to be honest with yourself and the other person and you have to know whether or not you can forgive the person or not.\n\nNeedless to say, there will alway be a part of you that will never trust that other person completely.  This is something you both will have to understand.  But, if you can move yourself over this, then, yes, you might just have a chance to regain a certain level of trust.
133402
It all depens on what the mistake is. Sometimes, it can be hard to forgive.