Is it wrong to love and live (plan 2 marry) w/ a man who is technically married(24 yrs, no intimacy or love) ?
961807
Of course you deserve happiness. I don't think it's wrong to love him, but two things (his status and his family's resentments) need to be addressed for you to be happy. He isn't free to marry you and having that restriction, whether you want to get married right away or not, isn't right and isn't ever going to feel right. Each of his family members have their own perspective and the only thing that will help is time.Their sorrow is something they'll have to address.  You and your partner can't heal it for them. Ideally they will eventually be grateful that he's happy and they will accept you.  But for the diehards who hold grudges for a long time or forever, there won't be a thing you can do. You can only control how you feel, and they can't 'make' you feel guilty. So go for it...be happy!  p.s. wow I just read the other posts and you are being crucified!  I agree that divorce is crucial.  But calling you nasty names and predicting that your future is dismal...those are heavy judgements. We don't know all the facts and we don't know you or your partner, and being nasty doesn't help anyone, any time.
1099160
SHOULD?????\nDo u think there is any should for proposing even if u are together for 2 yrs?!?!?!?!\nI have another idea if u are ready for proposing why u dont propose him?????\nAnd always know there is no should for marriage ...and if he is not ready for that never want him to do that .....people get married by a mistake and rouine their both lives ..\njust do it when both are ready for
583981
ive been there as well. its a hard thing. but at your age....wasted time is the worst thing to be doing. but only you can decide if its a waste. at this point in your lives.... you both should be able to get past what anyone else thinks. they dont matter. life is too short to live your life by somebody elses guidelines. ive been married twice.and divorced twice...DOH!..i lived with both of them first... because, well, no reason to get married if we end up hating each others daily habits. a happy marriage is knowing all the good...and being able to say that his/her bad points arent that bad.." i can live with this freak" lol. because thats what we all are. freaks. and its really can i live with this level of freak and vise versa. so i understand the marriage uneasiness. im 37, and i live with a great girl and her two boys... im reluctant to get married again... but life is a risk. the greatest things in life dont come with out it. ... the question is... are you both ready to risk equal amounts to be with each other? i do tend to think that him moving to his place is going backwards. and i understand you as well. about dating others... i just wouldnt do that right away... let what you have fall apart.... before you drive a wedge quickly between what you might have...wasted time is the worst... but losing love... thats a close second. good luck!
128310
first of all how old are u? are you even old enough to be thinking marriage?. I hope that you are at least in your mid twenties?
266628
As long as they are both of age, then there is nothing legally wrong with it.  However, morally speaking... all affairs are wrong.  Sex should only be with your spouse.
734369
According to Catholicism, anyway, it is certainly possible to marry the wrong person.  Problem is, you promised to be faithful 'for better or worse, till death do us part.'  In other words, thank God for your blessings, ask His help, and make the best of your marriage.  If your spouse dies, then you may of course remarry.  If your spouse is still living, then yes, it is adultury.  As for heaven or hell, that's up to God and not me.
1143605
If you're even questioning whether or not you should accept or decline, then you are NOT ready for marriage. You need to tell this man that you appreciate it, and you care about him too, but you don't feel marriage or, engagement, is appropriate just yet. Make sure you tell him it doesn't mean you don't want to marry him, eventually, but that right now, at this time in your life, you aren't sure if it's what is best.
201050
Love happens regardless of age, ethnic background, religion, status.........It just happens and that's the way it is.\nIf he loves you even after knowing this then no need to wait just get married to him. Also do consider the consequences and if you are ready to go through all the lifes trials together with him then say yes to him. A word of caution though....if you are insecured about his loosing interest in you as you age then there are some issues that you need to resolve beforehand.
102529
I believe age has no difference when it comes to loving someone. If you're married and have no intention to part with your present wife, don't make any promises to that girl which you can't keep. If you're single and this romance might develop into something else, do go ahead and don't let this chance pass by you. I have a son with a man who's 20 years older than me. He was lying to me about being divorced and we spend 2 years living together as man and wife. When I had a baby, I found out he was married and had a wife in another country. We're no longer together, but I tell you age has nothing to do with this. I love every moment we spent together except for his lies that screwed up my whole life. Don't do this to the girl you liked, but definitely enjoy every moment of this feeling if it's rightfully yours regardless of the age difference. Good luck! Nika
628889
I married a man 7 years younger than I am.  We have now been married for 27 years and going strong.  Age is only a number.  It's how you perceive that number.  Love him??.  Then go for it.  One year difference is nothing.  OH, I already had 4 kids and my husband had never been married before.  My children love him like their own father.  He is the most wonderful man to me.  Take a chance if you love each other.  It's worth it.
141810
I think it's a personal question that has to be addressed individually. It depends on what is important to you. If you have an absolute need to know what the other person is like every day, all the time, then perhaps you should. Or if you believe in love and what a commitment to marriage means, then take the faith that you love this person no matter what their personal habits. You can get to know a person's character without living with them, but again, it's up to you and them. As for strengthening a relationship, more studies show that it doesn't, but everybody's different. You also have to think about your potential kids and what kind of an example would you want to set for them? Years down the road what are you going to want to be able to say to them about moving in with their partners? That usually will reflect what is in your own heart and you should listen to that.
825923
he gave you a very HONEST answer.. at his age your asking alot from someone out of the gate of life... he is still trying to find his way kind of thing....\n\nnothing wrong with you... nothing wrong with him... just two dif. point of views, beliefs etc... if he had a crystal ball and looked into the future and could see that all is well, he would marry you.. but we don't have that.... it is called faith, stupidity of better fortune, will, belief in the couple... I don't know... but it sounds like he is missing a good opportunity to share his new beginning with someone that will be pulling the rope from the same end as his..\n\nHe needs to understand that whether he makes a decision or not life will continue too move on, married or not, people will live, people will die, he may starve to death married or single... could it be a totall failure.... sure could... could it be a smile on his face when he is 90 years old and in his death bed... yea.... \n\nOne of the most amazing thing that occurs in this world is when two become one and step off into the black hole together... as there is no certantie in anything... that you or him will be alive by the time you read this, nor that your love will last, nor that it will fail... the only failure will be is to let what could be... not....\n\nHe won't become relaxed about any of marriage etc... till about 3 years into it when he realizes... it's not that bad... kind of fun as long as your expectations are in line with reality.\n\nIt amazes me when I see young couples... I ask myself was I ever really that young, that stupid?  And I think... I wish I would have been dumber and just lived... even if I starved in the process.\n\nThe greatest joys happen when we have the least.  That is a rough interpritation of a Chineese proverb...\n\ngood luck, go slow and understand where he is coming from... but you know which course you have too take when it is time... give him a little time... but don't miss life... it's a hell of a ride rich or poor.
550225
I was in love at a young age too and my guy turned out to be gay. We're still friends, but it is just an example of how much can change. I'm now married to a great man I would have never met had I stayed with a guy while I was your age. Keep you options open, but stay with him as long as you are happy. Just don't make any perm. decisions till you are older. You both still have a lot of changing to do. Tell him you love him too, but you don't want to promise a life together just yet. Not because you want to be with someone else, or someone better, but because you both could change and you don't want to make mistakes.
214210
I think love IS at any age.  It is just the level of committment offered at the age.  Your age you shouldn't be looking at marriage or kids but your future, enjoying your time with limited responsiblities.  But my age i am looking for someone to share my life with, raise our kids, and retire with.  But all the same it is true love when in your heart you feel this persons' thoughts and feelings, needs and wants are important to you beyond anyone else's (except for your own, don't lose your identity)
180019
NOt if you don't mind.\nIt would be wrong if he is married though.
697580
Just because your marriage of 25 years is "ok" doesn't mean you can't have a strong attraction to someone you describe. People change throughout their lives and it sounds to me like you're gay.To reiterate, that you have spent a pleasant 25 years with your wife says no more than this time has been tolerable. If you're saying (sounds like you are) that you've been feeling earth shattering passion and obsession about your married friend, it's fairly obvious.
296708
Age is relative...there is no such thing as "wrong" or "right". It's only what society dictates that determines labels such as right as wrong. you need to look into your heart. Does being with him feel right? Does he feel comfortable with you? if yes, then it is not wrong, it is right.Do not let societal perceptions dictate your life...if you two are happy then that's all that matters.