Is it wrong to want nothing to do with your immediate family?
970590
Oh I struggle with this constantly but for different reasons. My parents are addicts. There comes a time in life when you must concentarte on you. If those around you, particularily family have reached toxic levels where they are poisoning your own life, it's best to back off and distant yourself. I would not write them off entirely, I've thought about doing it myself, but it all comes back to they are family and we cannot choose our family and like them or not, through them we are here. I don't know how old you are, but if you are younger I would suggest possibly just distancing yourself and speaking up with the issues you disagree with and make certain they know that it hurts your feelings and do not entertain their ignorant remarks and actions by giving any other reaction other than telling them that at this point and time you do not agree with their opinions. If you are young, there could be possibly something else going on that they are actually concerned about that you aren't seeing just yet. However if it's purely based on race, I'd keep my feet planted in your beliefs and hopefully with time after you stay away from them for awhile they'll realize their love for you is stronger than their hate for another.  I wouldn't give your father any special treatment either, because he is encouraging everyone around him by not speaking up if he truly is aware of their issues and agrees with you. Sounds to me like your father may be ignorant as well, and only agrees with you in private for fear of losing his little girl. All you can do is stand strong in your beliefs, distance yourself from how involved with them you are, but I wouldn't write them out entirely. Now if they begin to do anything harmful that causes extreme physical or emotional grief then I would cut them off entirely. Hopefully with time though and your distance from each other they'll see that they were wrong and have second thoughts on their ideas and opinions, especially if the man you love becomes a true gem and treats you the way they always hoped a man you'd find would. Good luck though, racism is ugly and deeply rooted in those who are and often continues on in people out of their own fears. Just be thankful that somehow by the grace of God their ignorance didn't rub off on you as you were growing up, as if often sadly the case with those raised by parents with beliefs such as that. Enjoy the love you have found and ignore what they say. Find comfort with the one you love and through his family until and if yours ever comes around to their senses! God Bless you dear. Oh and pray for them because it sounds like they need it!!
177343
No one ever told me I had to like my family. I don't. They don't support me so I really don't need them. They're not good people and I try not to associate with them unless I need to.
571884
I don't think there is anything wrong with putting your family at the top of your list of priorities.  Quite right.  As for the war, it seems it doesn't really matter what anyone says about it - it's going on whether we like it or not.
679155
Responsibility shouldn't keep you from being happy. Depending on your native custom, I think you should pursue your own happiness. Do what will make you happy, and keep your family close.
519496
you're right, your family is wrong.\n\nkeep it up.  your kids and step kids should both appreciate it in the long run, and MAYBE your family will also.  but don't count on it.
1120876
It sounds like you are better off without your family. I agree with one who suggested counseling. It is usually a good and helpful experience. Also, it is very lonely not to have a family. I always made family out of my friends. Having close friends can feel the same as being with your family.  Do you have any extended family(aunts, uncles, cousins) that would help you feel connected and loved? If you think there's any way I can help, feel free to contact me. :^)
594989
I've done it before.  Again, it was a distant relation through marriage.\n\nTo me it depends a little on how close your family is.  If it is going to cause some odd family dynamics, you may not want to let the relationship create any problems in the family.  But if you do not have a close family and you don't think it will be a big issue, go for it.
890243
I know how you feel- no relaxed visiting- just a mad dash to make it to the next get together.  Its nice to be invited to more than one place, but it is a strain and really no fun to have to rush through a visit or dinner.  \n     You have a good idea, I think if I were you, I would go ahead and separate for the day to each family.  Especailly since you have family that you only see this time of year.  That time is precious- and you won't get the time back.
734662
if u don't fatasize about ur own family members i don't think it is that wrong. i think it is pretty normal and i guess a lot of people go through stages like that and just don't want to admit it. i think you'll eventually grow out of this notion and look back and be like omg wut was i thinking. i hope i helped...\n:)
296224
Any time a member of your family is out of pocket   you cna't help but worry.  Should you let it consume you? No.
1079601
Now you are going to start a new life where care is one of the most important feeling or base of love, but should not become possessive because of it. If you do something, you should not expect the same from the other side.In this way, you will be always happy and enjoy your life in a family .
851039
After reviewing the series of questions you have asked about family relationship issues, it appears that you may be paranoid.\n\nIf that is not the case, then your family has some serious dis-functionality that you should all deal with, if possible. \n\nAt the very least, please consider seeking some professional guidance to help you cope with your situation.
121517
Yes! Your parent must not like your wife and they thought that if they invite you they would have to invite her. It seems that you love your wife and her kids even though they are not your own. For your family to take it out on you shows that they are not good parents. Also your sister who has her own business should no how to help you out with the trouble you are having. My mother has wealthy sister that are willing to help her out because they care about her and my grandparents do the same too. I know you would help your family out if you could and for them to be shelfish and mad because you married this women that they need help as well. I think you should go on the internet and find help for yourself and don't worry about your family unless it is very serious meaning someone is very sick or had died. This is about you and wife and kids now. So do this for them.
672449
I have dealt with this issue ALOT because I am the first to graduate from college and BY FAR the most successful career-wise and financially in my family.  I am always telling them NO for just about everything that they ask for and the reason why is because I dont want them to rely on me each time they get THEMSELVES into a jam.    Its not my RESPONSIBILITY to bail them out.  Plus every dime I send to them takes away from what I am trying to do.  Adults have to handle their OWN business, including his family.
1165554
I know you didnt ask for opinions, but I think in this case it is important that someone mention to you that you are making a huge mistake to take this course of action. There is no situation that cannt be resolved through legal channels, and your family is yours for life, you cannot remove them. As permanent as friends seem, they come and go. Blood is for life and any decision you make like this is going to be something you come to regret in the future.\n\nWether you regret it because of the effects that it has on your life, or the effects that it has on your relationship with your family, or both, this is the kind of choice that will be difficult to repair.\n\nI would strongly recommend you reconsider.\n\n(Also, dont take legal advice from anyone on here. Contact a lawyer, do not listen to any of the things people here claim.)\n\nEdit**\n\nI definitely appreciate your point of view, having been 17 myself, a seemingly long long time ago, I went through similiar issues as yourself (as Im sure all teenagers have.)\n\nDont try and justify yourself to us, we do not know you and we do not know your specific situations. However, ask yourself this : If my daugther wanted to do this to me, how would it make me feel? Would I feel like a failure as a mother? If I knew that my daugther was going to 'run away' if I stick to my rules, why would I still stick to them anyways?\n\nWhat you might be able to come to understand is that sometimes parents *must* do things that their children do not appreciate or understand, because it is what is --RIGHT--. It never feels that way as a teenager, but if you look at friends and acquaintances around your age, which ones are better off and have a happier life? The ones where the parents are strict and try to lead their children on the right path? Or the ones where parents are loose and allow their children to drift from point to point without direction?\n\nInvariably, if you're honest with yourself, you must acknowledge that those children and teenagers that have parents that support, direct, and help are better off than those that have parents that are unwilling or unable to do those things. Then, hopefully, what you will begin to see is that there are reasons behind what your mother is doing, and these reasons are intended to only be for your good, not her own. She does them at the risk of alienating and losing you, but strives to do what is right because as a parent she must. \n\nAnyways, I didnt mean to ramble on so long, but I hope you'll reconsider this decision because once followed it is a very difficult one to recover from.
16687
There's nothing wrong with what you're doing. It'd be a problem though if none of the things you've already mentioned were prevalent in your life (e.g. family, friends, social activities, and so on). Good for you!
985788
H'mmmm.  Well if you're dependent upon them for financial support, I'd think about it twice.  Maybe it is a good idea to wait until after you've completed your education.  Sounds calculating, I know. But it's also practical.\n\nI've never met your family, and of course you should have a better feeling for how they'll react.