Sex, marriage relationship question HELP?
960832
you need to talk to her. that reads like a personal ad.
941723
FIRST PRE-MARITAL SEX IS IMMORAL !!!\n\nGET MARRIED FIRST !!!\n\nTHEN BE GENTLE WITH HER !!!
487614
your marriage is what you make it. both of you bring honesty, trust, respect,love,communication, and commitment and you will be fine. good luck
566714
Dear lady,\n\ni really simpathize on you! one-  what did your husband tell u if he is not fit for intercourse did he just keep quiet ignore or suggested you of something? second- talk to him  about your feelings and more over its your life and u have a huge life in front of you don you wanna have children in future how will u b satisfied without sex... just by being with his family and him, unless you are not at all interested in it u may continue,if u think u break this marriage can u support yourself instead of being on yr parents if yes go ahead support yr self then marry someone else coz this is no good to b with a person where there is no future. your inlaws are very good bcoz they cheated u and yr family hiding their sons fact...and so they will remain good. If you wanna continue u may with him being a nurse yr whole life. If not have an extra affair to fulfill yr needs talk to him about it. or just hide it..
844513
Real simple: MARRY HER! What you're implying- SEX OUTSIDE MARRIAGE- is called "fornication" by God, which is SIN! You are VERY SELFISH! All you want to do is USE HER for your own gratification! The fact that you say you want to "convince her to go farther" PROVES this! You need to REPENT OF YOUR WICKEDNESS! See yourself as a LOST, GUILTY, HELL DESERVING SINNER! You are guilty of breaking God's law! "Thou shalt not commit adultery". Jesus said that if you "look on a woman to lust after her", you've "committed adultery with her already in your heart." (Matthew 5:27&28). Dude, you are A SLAVE TO YOUR PASSIONS! You are CONSUMED WITH LUST! Sex and all of the wonderful feelings that go with it are GOD GIVEN, and therefore "very good" as He pronounced after He had made Adam and Eve. But they were MARRIED! And that is why they were "naked and not ashamed". I would dare to say that your "girlfriend" is not your FIRST "fling", IS SHE? Are you still A VIRGIN? Even if you are OUTRIGHT, it's obvious you're not IN YOUR HEART! And I can guarantee that you are hooked on PORN, right? That stuff is DEADLY! You fill your mind and heart with ALL SORTS OF FILTH AND PERVERSION AND WICKEDNESS, and then you wonder WHY you have NO CONTROL over your passions! You're a slave to SATAN! The Bible rightly calls the devil "the god of this world". He ALWAYS takes what God has created as good and right and beautiful and perverts it into something very UGLY AND WICKED AND WRONG! That is what SIN is all about! The Bible speaks of "the pleasures of sin FOR A SEASON." You can "go all the way" or "part way", but EITHER WAY, it's still S-I-N!!! And it's basis is PRIDE! Notice how BOTH of those words have the letter "i" in the center! That's your problem: you are SELF CENTERED! You need to REPENT (turn from your sin and yourself) and TRUST IN THE LORD JESUS CHRIST TO SAVE YOU FROM YOUR SINS AND THE WRATH TO COME! One day you will die, and then you'll have to face the inevitable: ACCOUNTABILTY TO YOUR CREATOR FOR EVERY THOUGHT, WORD AND DEED! God loves you, and that's why Jesus Christ died on the cross for you! I beseech you sir: TURN FROM YOUR WICKED, SELF CENTERED WAYS TO CHRIST! And you need to do so TODAY! Tomorrow is too late! (You do NOT know when you'll die, now, DO YOU?) Quit being like so many OTHER guys today: A SELF CENTERED WHOREMONGER! Stop having this SICKENING mentality of just USING GIRLS for your own selfish pleasure! It really IS disgusting how so many guys will just SAY "I love you" to a girl SOLELY so they can "get what they want"! Love is A COMMITMENT! Everything else is LUST! And that is DESTRUCTIVE and ultimately leads to DEATH: Death in your body (STD'S); Death in relationships (resentment, mistrust, disrespect, divorce); Death in eternity (Hell fire for ever!). THINK ABOUT IT, AND TAKE HEED!
401321
Unfortunately, most guys tend to think of sex first in their reasoning for marriage.  This is extremely shallow, I know, but I am assuming that you are looking for a genuine answer.\n\nDepeding on the person, there are other things that they look forward to as well.  I couldn't wait to decorate for Christmas in our own house, and wake up together, and open presents by the fireplace - just the two of us.  I looked forward to creating special "her" days, where I cooked dinner, and created an itenerary of fun things to do throughout the day.  I consider myself to be somewhat of a romantic...but in all honesty, I was really looking forward to the sex, too.\n\n(Of course, I had sex for the first time on our wedding night.  The case may be different for guys who have sex before marriage.  I'm sure you'll be able to find one or two of them to get input from on this site).
9049
I do not think it is a good idea. How do you find out whether or not you are compatible in that way if you wait until marriage?  What if on the wedding night, one believes in the missionary position only, and the other likes to expirement?  What if one likes it in the shower and the other thinks it should only be in the bedroom?  What if one really enjoys sex, the other feels it is something they say "let's get it over with" to?
456556
If you're of age, 1 Corinthians 7 gives you a clear solution: get married.  If you go this route, TREAT YOUR WIFE RIGHT -- sacrificial love is the order of the day (Ephesians 5:22-33).  I'd also recommend Eggerichs' book _Love and Respect_; it will help you get started on the right foot.  Don't worry about finding "the right one" as though God hid your bride-to-be under a rock someplace.  If you need to get married, then find a woman who is (a) a believer, (b) devoted to the Lord, and (c) willing, and get hitched.  Get those three qualifications lined up, treat her right, and she'll take good care of you.  On the other hand, if a marriage of convenience scares you a little bit, then realize that curbing your problem is your only other option.\n\nNow for the tough part: discipline your mind.  If you're getting married, the two of you should study Song of Songs together.  Dillow, _Solomon on Sex_ and Fruchtenbaum, _Biblical Lovemaking_ are great resources for you -- buy them and use them.  Fill your head with biblical truth about sex.  Also, discipline your mind to think about YOUR WIFE when you think about sex.  Cultivate vivid memories of the mindblowing times you've had together.  When some pretty young lady showing too much skin crosses your path and you catch yoursef thinking, "Man I'd love to...," STOP.  Quote relevant Scripture to yourself, and remind yourself (by way of one of those juicy memories) of how God has provided for your sexual needs.  \n\nNow, if you're not getting married, you need to cultivate that kind of discipline anyway.  Just the details are fdifferent. Bad news: you can't resist this temptation on your own.  Clearly you already recognize this.  Good news: You don't have to.  Find the relevant passages in Scripture and keep them in the forefront of your mind -- always.  Write them down on 3x5 cards and carry them around with you.  When you're in line at the bank or the grocery store, take them out and read through them.  Memorize them and recite them to yourself as you drive to work (or walk the halls at school -- I don't know how old you are).  You need to never let yourself be unaware of the truth about that behavior.  Study what Scripture says about it.  You already know it's wrong, so go from there: what are the results of this particular sin?  What is the nature of the sin?  What leads to it?  How do you best avoid it?  What examples does Scripture give you -- who avoided this sin, and what happened?  Who gave in to it, and what happened?  I'd suggest paying particular attention to the writings of Solomon (Proverbs and Ecclesiastes, I mean -- stay away from Song of Songs until you're married, or about to be).  With 600 wives and 300 concubines, he got more than you've ever dreamed about.  Listen to the man -- he knows what he's talking about when he tells you that pleasing God is more important.\nBlessings on you, brother.  Keep the faith; the Lord can get you there.
636132
If you can control yourself, anything past kissing is too far. Even just feeling up is intimacy, and can easily lead to other things. Waiting for sex is meant to protect us, not to torture. Now saying all that, I didn't wait. I had a baby and married the guy right before the birth. But the great part is forgiveness. Thank you Lord for forgiveness! But asking forgiveness means you'll try your very absolute best to not repeat your past mistake. So try to find a guy that thinks the same way you do. It'll make it easier if you are both trying to stay pure. I asked for forgiveness, I'm still married (happily) to the only guy I've ever been with. So even mistakes can be turned to good. The hardest part is being human. And since we all are, its hard. So just pray for a great forever kinda guy to come your way. Then you don't have to worry so much. And when you get to the marrying part, make sure he wants forever, just like you do.
491265
You know I just asked the very same question earlier. I'm with a guy and we have only been dating for two months but have already talked about marriage and what we want out of life. I'm almost certain that soon he is going to pop the question and I wanted everyone's opinion. The only thing I can say to you is that I think you should go with your heart. You can take all the advice you want but at the end of the day you need to do what is best for you. You are 30 years old so I think you are old enough and mature enough to know if you are ready for marriage or not. The only thing I could possibly ask though is if you are living together? I definitely say you should live together first so you can get used to each other's annoying habits. I have been living with my boyfriend for 1 month and I'm starting to finally get used to the fact that he HAS to have 3 showers a day,  has to have the dishes washed as soon as they are used, and has to let gas ten times a day. lol.  Good luck!!!! Oh and if you would like to talk more feel free to contact me. :-) I'd love to trade stories and advice with someone.
1073306
As long as there is some sex during the week, it should be okay. Sex is not the main thing in a marriage, I know, but a complete lack of it indicates something very wrong.
244046
No its not!!! Because the bottom line that once you marry the sex life becomes less and less. It may not be right away that this happens but its true it does happen. When you are thinking of marriage you should make sure that this person is the one who you want to spend the rest of your life with. Marriage is about uniting as ONE!Its my opinion that communication would be the most important thing in a marriage up under have Jesus at the roots of the marriage! Sex does play a role in a marriage because  two people who are married feel the most connected when they are making love as the should but its not the most important thing. Marriage includes making decisions together, compassion, understanding, just letting the other one know that you are there for them no matter what, friendship.  So have fun with your SEX but remember marriage is more that just SEX if you marry for this reason then you are going to end up unhappy and wanting out! Truth of the matter, things change so will the sex life.Good Luck to you!
144932
If you're asking this question then you definitley are NOT ready to have sex with him. When you are ready you will feel it in your heart and you won't think twice or have to ask someone's opinion, so probably after your married would be best.
866501
I've been married 28 years ,and it's still in doubt .It seems the spirit and the flesh are somewhat incompatible .You can do what you want, it seems to quench the spirit tho for a time .
381973
You should see that you are physically compatible. What if you found out on your wedding night that the sex between you, for purely physical reasons was not ever going to be any good? It would mean for a potentially unhappy marriage. I say go for it!
809196
I know how you feel. I have / is going through something similar to your experience. I married young, I wasn't a very religious person neither was my husband at that time. As months went by he started to get more religious and more involved with our church and he started dictating the way I should dress and the way I should act. Forcing me to do many things in the name of religion that I hated.. subsequently, because of this I started slacking of on my religious duties.. I know it is wrong but he made me hate the religion and everything that has to do with it. Religion stops at the bedroom door.. God did not dictate what you can and what you cant do with your wife/husband . It's bringing pleasure to the person you love and in doing so you are being a good person. Trying a different position or trying something new is not sacrilegious. The problem is.. you have wonderful sex with your lover, but that is scars .. and you are left in the meanwhile with an unwilling partner and many temptations.. I say don't get tempted to have another affair.. you will only complicate your life with the lies, hiding and sneaking. And believe me it will only make you despise your husband more and you feel more frustrated with the relationship. Try to talk to hubby again.. explain to him the severity of the lack of passion. If that doesn't work my advice is, consider your options.. are you willing to scarifies the marriage and your position in the society to fulfill your sexual desires or can you find means of self satisfaction..an uncomplicated affair ? You might be a better person because you won't feel as guilty as you do right now and have some peace with your self and with God... Best of Luck...
773141
First learn; how  will be question ask ? and give the descripyion about ur marriage