ne good jokes that take the piss out of the english?
961953
Why do you need jokes about us English when the whole world is already laughing at us !!
775084
Face like a bulldog liking p*ss off a nettle!\n(if you're talking and you get your words mixed up) - Another spoke like that and i'll have a wheel.\nYou look like the back end of a bus.\nI'll rip off your head and sh*t down your neck.\nYou fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down.\n(burp) - Pardon me for being so rude, it was not me it was my food, it just popped up to say hello, and now it's gone back down below.\nThere's a party in my pants and you're all invited!
236773
delete it and get the english one
531121
I like the english comments
1127974
genius! you just made my day! come on anyone but england!
849770
Giggle (small one). I've heard it before but we need more clean jokes like that :)
870443
tause you hab a tinky twat
847459
LOL that was a good one and for once it wasn't to long to read sometimes i can never be bothered to finish the joke coz there so long!\nThanks for the laugh xx
1061285
Wenslydale: (lustily) Certainly, sir. What would you like?\n\nCustomer: Well, eh, how about a little red Leicester.\n\nWenslydale: I'm, a-fraid we're fresh out of red Leicester, sir.\n\nCustomer: Oh, never mind, how are you on Tilsit?\n\nWenslydale: I'm afraid we never have that at the end of the week, sir, we get it fresh on Monday.\n\nCustomer: Tish tish. No matter. Well, stout yeoman, four ounces of Caerphilly, if you please.\n\nWenslydale: Ah! It's beeeen on order, sir, for two weeks. Was expecting it this morning.\n\nCustomer: 'T's Not my lucky day, is it? Aah, Bel Paese?\n\nWenslydale: Sorry, sir.\n\nCustomer: Red Windsor?\n\nWenslydale: Normally, sir, yes. Today the van broke down.\n\nCustomer: Ah. Stilton?\n\nWenslydale: Sorry.\n\nCustomer: Ementhal? Gruyere?\n\nWenslydale: No.\n\nCustomer: Any Norweigan Jarlsburg, per chance.\n\nWenslydale: No.\n\nCustomer: Lipta?\n\nWenslydale: No.\n\nCustomer: Lancashire?\n\nWenslydale: No.\n\nCustomer: White Stilton?\n\nWenslydale: No.\n\nCustomer: Danish Brew?\n\nWenslydale: No.\n\nCustomer: Double Goucester?\n\nWenslydale: (pause) No.\n\nCustomer: Cheshire?\n\nWenslydale: No.\n\nCustomer: Dorset Bluveny?\n\nWenslydale: No.\n\nCustomer: Brie, Roquefort, Pol le Veq, Port Salut, Savoy Aire, Saint Paulin, Carrier de lest, Bres Bleu, Bruson?\n\nWenslydale: No.\n\nCustomer: Camenbert, perhaps?\n\nWenslydale: Ah! We have Camenbert, yessir.\n\nCustomer: (surprised) You do! Excellent.\n\nWenslydale: Yessir. It's..ah,.....it's a bit runny...\n\nCustomer: Oh, I like it runny.\n\nWenslydale: Well,.. It's very runny, actually, sir.\n\nCustomer: No matter. Fetch hither the fromage de la Belle France! Mmmwah!\n\nWenslydale: I...think it's a bit runnier than you'll like it, sir.\n\nCustomer: I don't care how fucking runny it is. Hand it over with all speed.\n\nWenslydale: Oooooooooohhh........!\n\nCustomer: What now?\n\nWenslydale: The cat's eaten it.\n\nCustomer: (pause) Has he.\n\nWenslydale: She, sir.\n\n(pause)\n\nCustomer: Gouda?\n\nWenslydale: No.\n\nCustomer: Edam?\n\nWenslydale: No.\n\nCustomer: Case Ness?\n\nWenslydale: No.\n\nCustomer: Smoked Austrian?\n\nWenslydale: No.\n\nCustomer: Japanese Sage Darby?\n\nWenslydale: No, sir.\n\nCustomer: You...do *have* some cheese, don't you?\n\nWenslydale: (brightly) Of course, sir. It's a cheese shop, sir. We've got--\n\nCustomer: No no... don't tell me. I'm keen to guess.\n\nWenslydale: Fair enough.\n\nCustomer: Uuuuuh, Wensleydale.\n\nWenslydale: Yes?\n\nCustomer: Ah, well, I'll have some of that!\n\nWenslydale: Oh! I thought you were talking to me, sir. Mister Wensleydale, that's my name.\n\n(pause)\n\nCustomer: Greek Feta?\n\nWenslydale: Uh, not as such.\n\nCustomer: Uuh, Gorgonzola?\n\nWenslydale: no\n\nCustomer: Parmesan,\n\nWenslydale: no\n\nCustomer: Mozarella,\n\nWenslydale: no\n\nCustomer: Paper Cramer,\n\nWenslydale: no\n\nCustomer: Danish Bimbo,\n\nWenslydale: no\n\nCustomer: Czech sheep's milk,\n\nWenslydale: no\n\nCustomer: Venezuelan Beaver Cheese?\n\nWenslydale: Not *today*, sir, no.\n\n(pause)\n\nCustomer: Aah, how about Cheddar?
769693
holy crap\noh my f***in god\ngod damn\n \nwhat more do ya want, there's so many cuss words in the english language its hilarious
387126
I for you am japanese toe tell please joke for you.
995410
http://greatjokes.50webs.com/ here you can find a lot of good jokes,
1089153
WELL SAID !!  As someone who has recently posted a couple of questions myself taunting england supporters.I totally agree,this is supposed to be a bit of banter,but what happened today has totally sickened me.....my best mate at work is a cockney ,so i am not anti-english,but it does not stop us ripping the pish out of each other over our teams.As i said a bit of banter.\nOn behalf of all true SCOTS and not these MORONS i send my deepest apologies to both families.
825868
Not funny sorry. Re-enforces the whole small minded Scots/anti English stereotype. A racist joke is a racist joke. This is no better than Bernard Manning. Better to say "ah but wait to see the weather they are going to get".
994305
Nope sorry\n\n\n((edit))\nThat is so funny my sides have split I'm laughing so much!!!!!!!\nOnly the British eh?
775977
Hehehe that was piss funny mate, got anymore?
724546
Great Joke!!!!!!!!!!!!!!