Teaching a 10 y/o to fight...?
959050
Yeah, I agree that your brother needs to defend himself if he has no other choice. How big are these kids anyway? Go to your brother's school, and look for these kids, warn them not to mess with your brother or you will tell the higher authorities (their parents, teacher or even the police). Don't take it lightly, you've seen what has happened to the world these days, even kids get emotional and kill each other in a fight. Your mum is weak to think that fighting back is bad. Would she rather see your brother coming home every day with a bloody nose or swollen eyes? I don't think so! Why did she not take actions, I don't know, but you're the big sister, and I'm glad you're protecting on your younger bro. Like you said, teach him some self defending techniques, so that he can protect himself when you're not around. Or better still, enrol him to a karate or taekwondo school.
1167153
I teach Karate, but it's not up to me to tell you that Karate is right for your son. Alot of people will say Tae-Kwon-Do or Karate is best because thats all they know.\nPicking the right Martial Art for your son is as important as picking the right school. Get the yellow pages out and see whats available in your area, then learn more about what each art does. Take your son to watch some beginner classes at some of the dojos and see what interests him.\nIf he starts in something that doesn't interest him or gets a bad teacher than he may give all martial arts up for good and that would be a shame.\nA good teacher will tell you that it takes time to learn the art and a black belt is not the end, it just means that you've got the basics down and can more on to harder (funner) things.\nSome that I would recomend are\n\nKarate - Punching and kicking, teaches blocking and avoidance as well as attacks\n\nTae-Kwon-Do - alot of kicking and yelling (keeps young ones attention)\n\nJudo - locks and throws (may be too young for this)\n\nAikido - locks and throws in a non violent way (very good non violent self defence art)\n\nKung-Fu - good for show, does very well at tournements.\n\nBoxing is very good if he wants to attack, martial arts is good if he wants to attack and defend, but what every school should teach is how to avoid the bad situations all together.\n\nGood luck and have fun!
1112062
This is very challenging, indeed!   Time to bring on your "big guns" of creativity...\n\nAct, but do not REACT.\n\nThe first thing that really stands out to me, is that he is really frustrated and feels unable to communicate effectively...and this is where you can really be the hero for him: to show him by your example how far you will go to continue communicating lovingly when you are frustrated.  I know it's tough, and he really needs you to be "bigger" in heart & wisdom than he is.\n\nI imagine that trying to verbally communicate with your son when he is angry and frustrated is nearly impossible.  But I do think that when he is calm, you and he can sit down together to problem solve this together and make a simple plan.  You might be surpised how distressing this anger stuff is to him, as well as be ignited by his brilliance of the ideas that you he would come up with.  But you already know that...;-] Either way, these conversations, however brief the interaction, will lay the groundwork -- on their own -- for the very ideas that he needs to draw from when he's so irrate. \n\n  Remember that often boys' verbal skills develop much slower than girls, biologicaly speaking.  (Do you remember this when you were his age?) My son couldn't speak understandably until he was 5; now an adult, he's an excellent & sensitive communicator.  \n\nSecondly, be very careful about falling into the trap of diagnosis and labels...They're rather like "pin the tail on the donkey", with lots of misses in the dark! While your main intention is to be a responsible and wise, loving dad, who doesn't miss anything crucial, I sense this could easily backfire on you, especially when you are asking him about symptoms of psychosis.  (Beware of projections -- not helpful.) .  Too much information for a 4 year old child who's already stressed.   Toss out the spanking right along with that, because that's really stressing him.  He wonders why you get to hit, and he doesn't. \n\nI never met a child who didn't respond to love, especially from his Big Buddy!\n\nOn the other hand, it is not loving to allow him to hurt you or anyone else.  Thrashing his own room, however, might be another matter...it's his stuff.  The basic element of developing his agression (competition, motivation, hutszpah! but not meanness) is normal, and You can be a responsible loving parent by not repessing his natural (vital, life force) agression and guiding or directing him in how to express his frustrations, safely.  I would clear his room of anything dangerous or hard, limit him to that kind of upset in his own room -- not agression towards anyone -- but allowing him a safe place and manner to vent his feelings until he is ready to rejoin the family.  He's not in his room for punishment, just for safety, just like you guys talked about it.\n\nNonetheless, I can well imagine this does not happen only at home, so you'll need to come up with a similar plan at Grandma's and the grocery store, etc. Remember the key here is not to stop but to guide him.  How do I know he's not the "Child from Hell"?  Because as soon as he calms down (on his own) he WANTS to return to a connected, loving state. And just like anything else thus far, he is looking to you for an answer to something that as yet seems just too big for himself to deal with.  \n\nUltimately, you both will not need him to rip up his room, because together, you will teach each other how to breathe, calm down in the moment, and communicate. You will be mastering this yourself, and teaching him this at every stage of his development.\n\nRight now, this is a stage (tough as it may be), which he will grow out of with your patient and brave guidance...and of course, Love.\n\nLove and Light to you all!\n\nP.S.> IF a diagnosis alone must be considered, I would first look at Asperger's or some other form of Autism, which tends to be
936177
Charms & spells....Probably not to a 10 yr old....But that doesn't mean she can't get a grasp of what magick is...introduce her to the pendulem and show her how to use it to find lost things, such as toys or house keys...I started working with magick at a VERY early age, 6 to be exact and ahve been going strong ever since....Intro duce her to dreams and wha they mean, that's a good start too.  Different stones and their properties might be okay as well.  Scott Cunninghm's book (either Earth magic or earth air fire and water) has instructions for making a "bag of seven stones"..That could be neat for a 10 yr old....But I'd be very wary of introducing her to any type of ritual magick at this point as most 10 yr old minds aren't formed enough to grasp concepts such as religion and alternate dimensions of reality....\nStay with the safe and simple stuff, make a game out of it and as she progresses in age and experience, you can teach her more!!\nAnd oh yes....Secrecy is a MUST!!!
770629
Well CookieMonster my advice may not be that ethical but I would suggest that you enroll your son in some sort of self defense course.  As a parent and previous kid yourself you most certainly must realize that if you get too involved that it will only work against your son and he will get the beats more often.  It is very sad that he was beaten so badly that he had to be hospitalized and I would hope that the school he attends has a zero tolerance on violence and that any child who becomes physically or emotionally abuse towards another is suspended.  My advice for self defense course is because it will help to build your sons self esteem as well as better prepare himself in case of future attacks.  He might really enjoy taking boxing lessons and actually get to meet some new friends also.  I cannot speak of this other young man who is suppose to be a friend and whether or not he set your son up, but if he did then it would be wise for your son to stay away from him also.  But if he is sitting with one of the bullies as a measure of his own self preservation then he just isn't mature enough at present to understand the meaning of being a true friend.  Hopefully by involving the police in this latest incident you have somehow put some fear into these others who might want to attack your son and so this will cease and desist.  Kids can be very mean and think they are so tough by beating on younger or weaker kids.  But Karma has a way of balancing things out and hopefully in time they will learn that what they have done has consequences.  Best of luck to you and I hope that your son is going to be alright and gets many well wishes from his real friends while he is in the hospital.
593289
take away the 10 year olds video games and tell him/her  they have to work to get them back...or some thing they relly like.the 21year old tell them they need to work or yoll kick there sorry@$$ on the curb
528088
Ceebra had some great answers. You can also do follow the leader kind of this where they copy what you do. Also you can set up a simple obstacle course where you can encourage them to balance along wide beams, crawl through tunnels, step along stepping stones or in between ladder rungs on the ground. You can put a track on the ground made of masking tape where the children have to walk along the line like a tightrope walker. If you want more physical exertion, try running races (eg "show me how fast you can run (or walk/crawl/fly etc) to the sandpit and back again"!)
769511
Don't be too strict...don't let them run with the ball...but if they lift there pivit foot once don't sweat it...Let them touch each other but don't let them intentionally do it...if something is questionable let it slide...At that age the kids are just now learning the game...and calling every little thing won't help anything...all it'll do is make it a stop and go game...which no one will enjoy
478734
Just how old are we talking about? If they're 6-9, teach them to dribble, and basic skills like shooting. If they dont have correct form, dont worry about it. It will come with time. Explain only basic rules of the game, such as, no pushing, no walking with the ball, and how to shoot in your own basket. DOnt go into very many details at firlst. If they semem to be understanding, then you might do into more, but just start with basics.
174069
My daughter is six also and she is really trying to push buttons she seems manipulative and has fits when she dont get her way dont stop unless she gets her way. which i just leave the room. very sassy and think she should not have to do anything and i have no solutions because i have a hard time with her right now.
341585
Be patient. I made my kids cry too many times. As she gains confidence and skill, raise the wheels a little.
693777
Kids learn what is appropriate from adults - they're training to be adults, remember.  It is tacky.  Tell him so and tell him no.
473821
let her keep doin it!!\nsome day someone will kick her ass and she wont do it again\nexperience is the best way to learn things
9370
I have an idea, wrap your kid in bubble wrap and never ever let him do anything fun! That way he'll be safe AND miserable! Yes, get him a trampoline, but teach him how to be responsible with it and enforce that responsibility, i.e. only so many people on at a time, no wrestling matches, and by all means flip! That's what they're for, and he's not going to want one when he's fifteen. I had access to three trampolines because of family by the time I was six and I've never broken a thing, but if I had, it would have taught me not to be retarded on the trampoline. Kids aren't glass.
95840
Boys will be boys I know I have two of them, 10 and 12. My older one would pick on my younger so I got my younger boy to understand that his buttons were being pushed(12 year old knew how to make the 10 year old mad)and just how long was he going to let that happen. Well he just stopped responding to his brothers button pushing and it pretty much has stopped.
1141820
Very smart thought. I have taught my children to pick their battles.\nOh they are 24-30 yrs old - not children but mine. My son is a Ranger in Army ( his battle is safety of democracy), My youngest,( a mother of twin sons, like you is an environmentalist - she wants her children to have a beautiful earth like she does, my oldest is a stay at home mother that has chosen children's rights to fight for. I am very political but the plight of the homeless - making sure they are fed & have a safe place to go is my fight that I work with the most. Now with my son, I am involved with the Military much more. You are right, we must pick our battles & fight with all we have. I love the United States of America & must work harder to defend it from enemies outside & within our borders. Thanks for reminding me.\n\nIt is hard to tell by our battles but we are a whole family of Republicans.
1011896
If she is hitting you, very gently take her hands and hold them at her sides while telling her that hitting is not appropriate and that she should use her words.  If she refuses to do something you need her to do, pick her up and bring her to where she needs to be.  In the future, when she won't do something, ask her if she can do it on her own or if she needs help.  Most kids like to do things on their own and don't like to be picked up and made to do something in front of other kids.  Keep your voice cheerful and matter of fact (don't yell) and get down to her level when you talk to her.  If she chooses to do something on her own, give her a lot of praise.  I worked in preschools for over 3 years and found this to be very effective.