Is it a Ticket Inspector?  Is it a Christmas Pudding...?
967589
Mr. Spoon likes to jump over small boys himself. small boys jump over me. if you mislay enough eggs, i'll follow the trail while eating it and smash windows with you and Eric.
775280
you should do with christmas nearlly here employers will be looking for extra staff. good luck.
368488
well i'm thinking of telling my boss to turn the clocks BACK an hour tonight instead of forward... I don't have to work tomorrow!\n\nwe do food deliveries at the restaurant i work at.  one of our drivers is a nice kid, hyper but fun.  when business gets 'backed up' he gets a bit high strung.  how the system works is he gets a delivery bag with a ticket printed on the top with the order, address, and cost.  of course he was so hyped up he grabbed the bag and ran out the door to his car to take it... not knowing that we had printed up a ticket with the restaurant's address on it.  we put a few empty boxes in the delivery bag so it wasn't 'empty' and off he goes.  \n\nwe're watching him out the window as he leaves, zooms out of the parking lot, turns down the side street, gets about 50 feet... and stops.  he's looking around at the restaurant, the businesses next door, the house across the street, and we can see his facial expressions the whole time. finally he saw us looking, gives a big sheepish grin, pulls back into the lot and comes in.  opens the bag and finds a pile of empty boxes inside.  busted!\n\n"hey john, where were you going with that order?"\n\n"%*&$#&@ you guys!"
881523
I missed the "Farepak Christmas fiasco."  But why should the MPs be assumed to be sympathetic to that extent?  If they donate a day's pay to this and a day's pay to that, before long they are effectively depriving their own families who, you may be sure, are already over-budgeted for that salary.
1079625
LOL  I have to ask, how do you know the driver is an illegal?  Is a sign displayed, "Illegal on board"?  LOL \n\nI had to laugh at the term "grocery getter".  I never heard that one.  I'm guessing it is an economy gas efficient car. Just think of it as doing your part to conserve petrol. Thanks for the laugh. I really needed one! :)
754810
Judge Fudge?\n\nNo. He's probably too busy......being delicious.
701678
I know mine was when I was a traffic warden last Summer and a van was parked in a bus stop blocking it.  I was giving it a ticket when a big fat man ran across the road, jumped in and started to drive off while calling me a whore.  I rolled the ticket up and threw it in through the open window - hitting him on the head with it.  When he threatened to report me I told him to do it - it would prove that at least he had got the ticket !!!  That exceeded his expectations - he NEVER expected me to do that !!!  Does that help :-).  Good luck with the job xxxxx
1147016
I am not sure what it is you are really looking to hear because one ticket makes your driving looks bad but, If you mean when an officer put your plates in his computer and make the computer crash, I think it takes a lot more than just four tickets...\nI think you are still okay...\nJust be more aware of your surroundings that's all....
25086
i dunno....i liked this one...Its Christmas eve.  There was 3 car accident...3 men died...they all meet St. peter at the pearly gates to heaven....St. peter said you have to show me something that will represent christmas before i can let you in today...So the first guy looks and looks in all his pockets ...finds his lighter and lights it...there its a candle he says....St. Peter says thank you you may enter..and looks towards the next man...So the second guy has been lookin and finds his keys...jingles them and says there these are jingle bells...St. Peter says you may enter...The last guy has a worried look on his face while he searches and searches then he pulls out some womens panties...and says there are CARROLL's  lol (get it...christmas carols)
910303
Friend - Though I agree that your best action is just to pay the ticket, to find out the procedure for contesting a ticket, call the court of the jurisdiction involved.  GBU
410682
from the ticket hotline
698135
It's like this; I just had 2 weeks off work sick, got my little lads birthday and Xmas coming up.  Not to mention that I got bumped off by Farepak.\n* * * * *\nI've already bet a tenner at the start of the season, but with our comeback expertise & history I might be tempted to have a whirl.\n* * * * *\nNIce one.
628134
Hi there fella, I'm a driver for Royal Mail, thanks for asking :-)
6301
Don't forget the old banana in the tailpipe from Beverly Hills Cop. I also like the pizza idea, although 10 pizzas would probably tip off the restaurant it was a prank and they will call to double check ... instead pick just a couple of pizzas but have them ordered with every ingredient that the person doesn't like (anyone for anchoives and pineapple?)
489143
I believe he goes postal now and again :-)\n\nHave you noticed the amount of problems with his van?  Bald tyres, no tax disk, brakes seem dodgy, pathetic horn etc  AND he lets his cat loose in the van.\n\nI think he has info on the local policeman who turns a blind eye.
866346
It's not often that something renders me speechless but this completely blew me away!\n\nWhat a set of robbing bar-stewards! I'll bet that little fine will go some way to funding their Christmas p*ss up.\n\nHow on EARTH can they possibly justify clamping you?! Did the dumb a$$ that did the clamping not notice the car had been broken into?!\n\nPerhaps if they had been doing their jobs properly, your car wouldn't have been broken into in the first place - in fact how do you know that one of them didn't do it?!\n\nCan your company not intervene or at least reimburse you for the fine you had to pay? Does the car park have any CCTV? Is there not a manned gate that you have to show your pass to in order to access the car park? (in which case how would you have been able to park in the first instance if you had not shown someone your pass?)\n\nThey are being deliberately obtuse for the sake of it, I would complain to anyone and everyone until I got my money back.\n\nAbsolutely unbelievable!
752664
havent you ever sped by dunkin' donuts going 20 over the speed limit and tried to slow down really fast because you saw a cop in the parking lot, who saw you and didnt care because he was practically making out with a chocolate covered custard donut?\n\nand thats the story.