Why is it that people feel that when they have conflict in their marriage, they think divorce all they can do?
967839
Alot of people think divorce is the easy way out. You don't have to try anymore and you don't have to admit your own faults. Trying to salvage a marriage has got to be one of the hardest things in the world to do. It is filled with raw emotion that just runs away sometimes.  If people can keep their anger in check and concentrate on whats important in the marriage they have a chance. Other than that, I can't think of a way to save a marriage.
898841
They should be.  Plus a zillion more.  We are so caught up in the romance of marriage, we forget that it is s-e-r-i-o-u-s.  We don't want to talk about these things.\nAnd we can always get a divorce, right?  Even when both parties agree it isn't working out it still causes immeasurably emotional damage.\n\nHere are a few from my arsenal:\nWhat will you do when you find you cannot agree?\n\nWho will be responsibile for paying the bills and keeping the checkbook?\n\nWhat is your attitude toward children?\nWhat would you do if you cannot conceive children of your own?\n\nHow often do you want to invite people to your home?\n\nWhere will you spend Christmas, Thanksgiving and Easter? How will you decide?
181844
I feel the question is to vague for an answer , what are your regrets ? You say your spouse and family would be devastated , so are we to assume that your spouse still feels that everything is ok in the marriage? are your regrets things like , what if I had done this or what if I had married this person instead or my life would have been so different if I had never married or had kids? Lots of people at some time and point in their lives wonder what if , that's normal . But if there is nothing truly wrong in your marriage , I feel that you owe it to your family to make it better , to many people today get stuck in ruts and start thinking that the grass is greener on the other side but the reality of it is if you don't find out for your self why you feel this way or make the change within your self to make things better , then it's only a matter of time before the grass on the other side turns brown as well. When you take your vows you make a promise for better or worst , sickness and health , good times and bad , the power is in you to make your marriage and family a success. Think about what you are feeling ,why you are feeling that way, before you jump ship and possibly repeat all the same mistakes and regrets all over again
267915
I don't think there is any easy way to adjust and go through a divorce without some questions, hurt, anger and thinking you are a total failure for not being able to save a marriage. Just pray a lot....Nicole
1073186
The obsession with always having to be "happy".  People think that you have to always be "happy", sometimes things get rough and instead of working it out and sticking it out when things aren't going your way people quit.  There are so many reasons people give for divorcing but I think the one you here the most is " I just wasn't happy anymore".  Well who is happy all the time?  It's OK to have a bad spell of time.  It's OK to have a problem in your marriage that lasts a few months even a year or more but you can't just say this isn't fun I'm outta here.  We live in a society that put to high of a value on fun.  Don't get me wrong I love a good time and I love feeling happy but you can't base your whole life on if it's not fun I don't want to do it.  How would anything get done?  Children need to see parents stick it out they need to see that life in general isn't a cake walk.  They need to see that you don't always get what you want.  Maybe then people will stop looking for the easy way out of everything and learn to cherish the fun happy times instead of taking it all for granted.
538024
conflict resolution is part of a healthy marriage.
97796
Divorce is hard. I wish I knew the answer to that one. I am facing a divorce...K
1119436
Hi Cammy,\n\nIn my experiences I've found that a trial separation can be healthy sometimes in efforts to renew a marriage provided that both parties are in mutual agreement. Also, I've watched others go through this who have waited to do this when the relationship had degraded so much that each person left for the separation with intense animosities and in my opinion that will only make working things out all the more difficult. I've found that if two people are mature and recognize the need for 'space' during a relationship and don't wait until the arguing and fighting have begun to dominate the relationship then it's much easier to be apart and still genuinely want to work through the problems.\n\nBest of Luck!!
980445
If one party claims that the marriage is not irretrievably broken, then the court can suggest counseling.  I don't believe, however, that they can actually require it, but it can certainly delay the divorce.
240726
That's to bad for your family, and I'm sorry. But if things have been that bad for them to cause them to want to get a divorce, they both may much happier and that can only bring joy to your family as a whole just in a different way than your used too.
605624
I have been married for just over 9 years, together for 11 and have 4 children. We faced similar trials recently, we lost our house almost the car and were behind on a lot of bills. Divorce was never an issue, it will not solve any of those problems and if you agree on everything than you agree on that also. Sometimes you just have to lose everything to see what is really important... your family and their well being. You can always rent, get extent ions on the bills if you ask for help. It has been just about 2 years since everything seemed to go wrong for us, financially, but we are stronger and more aware of our money, emotions and the important stuff that always seemed to get lost before. It does get better. Keep your head up and stick it out.
1154034
Its the effect a broken marriage has on kids. Thats why divorce is so bad.   Get some books on it an read. Promise yourself to do better as an adult.  You don't have to walk in your parents footsteps. You are a very unique person and have a lot to offer. So read things that lift your spirit and help you become the great adult you can be.
225484
I don't know honey, I feel the same way, its like they are programed to be that way.  It seems that they feel after they get married than they don't have to keep things the way they were before marriage cause they've already got claim on you.
758391
yes .............but i don't understand why people think even divorce why they can't try to resolve fights calmy......then there wil be no div........
284032
I warn my husband about this all the time.  I feel me and him don't have a deep mutual understanding of each other.  You know how with some people you have that love and understnading and emotional connection and with others you don't.  he and I don't have that - thought we did but we rushed into the marriage.  I keep telling him that if he continues to be that way - he complains and argues about everything that I am interested in and criticizes me for the way I do things ..doesn't understand the real me. We just doesn't have that real true love "connection" as your wife calls it and "emotional" understanding for one another ... he has no idea what i mean when i explain this to him; I tell him he's gonna be the guy that 10 years down the road the wife will say "i want a divorce" and the entire time he would never see it coming and would wonder "where did I go wrong - i thought everything was fine" ... but you know what .. I commend you for reading books and seeing a counselor.  I try to read books about this stuff to my husband and he gets mad and defensive or he'll just ignore what I'm reading to him.  If she doesn't give you that chance to work it out then she is just fed up and there is no hope.  Give her a little more time - although she probably feels less hurt becasue she knows you are still wanting to be with her so she's not scared about this time apart.  If you were to act like her and accept it - then it would scare her.  When I threaten to leave sometimes and he is beggin for me not to, I feel the urge to leave even more because I know I have the upper hand and he's wrong.  But .. if he would act like he wouldn't care for ex: one time he said "fine I'll pack your bags for you" I felt really vulnerable and hurt but it scared me ... and we ended up making up instead of me leaving.   Take everyones advice - just take it day by day - you'll be fine and she'll come around - if its over just let it go .. use what you have learned to help you out later.  Just note that women need emotional attention and understanding- we are weird like that.
695426
When Children are involved and the marriage wasn't that terrible then there will always be some kind of feelings. But there is a reason why they aren't together and you have to remember that. \nMost couples get along better when they are no longer a couple, I know my ex-husband and I do.
366941
Basically a judge decides these things but it can be a contested divorce which means nothing goes until all parties agree. I'd suggest negotiating more...