my husband is over protected over me& i wanna become a nypd officer.?
953162
My wife is the same way and Im about to become one. Look, nothing is going to change him, he is who he is. It seems that hose of us who gravitate toward this life also attract people who are over-protective. Be happy you have someone who loves you enough to care about you're safety. Be happy you have someone who will make sure you're kids wont become hellions, and the kind of people you will have to arrest (Ive seen it before... nothing, NOTHING is more embarrasing than having youre kids arrested as a cop). What specifically is he afraid of? It could be anything. If its the violence, cite to him the statistics... being a police officer in this country is alot safer than many other occupations, including Taxi Driver. NYc is a great police city, safest big city in the US. Of course, no amountof statistics is going to satisfy some, so you just have to keep reassuring him. \n\nReassure him he will always come first. In my experience, this is ALWAYS the thing most are worried about. Yes, the job is demanding. Not so bad as the military, but, you know, its up there. Many jobs these days are just as bad, tho, like accountant (my roomate in college was an accountant, and I didnt see him for like 3 months during the season). Yes, there will be plenty of overtime. But the family must always come first, and you need to feel this, and he needs to know this. If you do not feel this, DO NOT ***REPEAT*** DO NOT become a police officer. This job WILL eat you alive if you dont prioritize, and police burnout is the number one problem among departments, always has been.\n\nIs he worried about the much-publicized divorce rate? Fear not. Statistically, divorce is no more likely to occur in a police family than any family these days. As a matter of fact, studies show that police families (like military families) that can make it the first three years are statistically MUCH less likely to break up (hardship only makes strong people stronger). To close, I have some info for you. There is a book called "I Love A Cop". It is the best resource ever written for police families. It can be purchased at most major book stores, but heres a link:\n\nhttp://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_ss_gw/104-8726546-3760744?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=i+love+a+cop.\n\nThis book changed my life. In addition, there are many police spouse web sites out there. Do some reearch, never stop reassuring, and you'll get there. Goof luck on you're career choise, thank you for making this sacrifice, and God Bless!
540961
Been there and done that...not fun!  I feel for you but you have to be strong enough to GET OUT!  I had family and friends to help me out behind his back.  I planned carefully because he was smart and inquisitive, very controlling.  Get mad and smart too!  Figure out his work schedule and get it all done in a short amount of time.  Get a restraining order against him before you go so that you are somewhat protected when you leave.  Go somewhere safe where someone is with you all the time and has speed dial.  Get a plan B so that if this is not an option you have somewhere else to go.  Don't make him mad.  Above all don't let him see you are nervous.  Keep him calm and level headed until you pull it off.  Don't change your routine or compromise yourself.  Be sure to delete all "help" calls off the phone and alert the police of what you are about to do and the day and time.  You can also have the police escort you out once they know the situation if you need to do it that way.  My prayers go out with you!
1123295
I will pray for you both.  Even if the answer is not what you want, though, remember that He knows what's best for us better than we do ourselves.  Trust in Him to take care of you.
1127727
being a married police officer i would have to say no we don't. i know i put my wife thru hell from time to time. it has alot to do with the crap we deal with from day to day. when i copme home from work i find myself snapping over stupid stuff. then again i do work with some great people who make great husbands and wifes.
678916
By all means, post it on the internet to find out dumba$$!  Even better, why don't you call a police station in the state you want to move to, and ask them!  I am sure they would be happy to help you. ;)
938559
Take them away some where else and inform the cops they are harassing you. Then, ask your wife to also sign a petition that they are harassing her family. You and the kids. This is personal so just sort it out yourselves instead of involving the law. Best of luck my friend
83221
If you have to ask if it's scary, then you're not ready. I'm a former police officer and fear is a factor but not something you really think about. Fear makes us careful and alert. If we stopped and thought about it, we couldn't do our jobs. It's part of a dangerous job and when you put on that uniform, you know that you may not be coming back home again, when you leave your house. If you treat people with respect from the beginning yet stand firm on what you need to enforce as an officer, you'll do fine. Just remember that the people you are dealing with are human beings and none of us have the right to abuse or belittle them. Now, when I was on the streets I treated everyone equally and with respect but if they pushed my bitc^ buttons, I could go there too. If I had to be tough I was, but most situations are purely handled with people skills and a firm but fair hand. You want to protect America's borders, do it with pride, honesty and integrity. Your place is to enforce the law not to become judge, jury and executioner. You judge only enough to asses a situation and make an arrest or take other authoritive action. I will face down anyone, even to this day, but I have always kept in mind that the person I faced is someone's son or daughter, brother or sister and one of God's children. However, it would not have kept me from shooting them if I had justifiable cause (thank God I didn't have to in all those years, but came very close a few times). You must be able to face your fear and put it behind you at the same time, and never turn your back on a fellow officer or someone that needs your help. You can die out there. If you can't face that, Sweety, don't even think about joining the force. God be with you if you do. Good luck.
529544
You might want a police escort there, just in case.  But if you are of legal age, there is nothing they can do to stop you.  I hope you're really sure this is the right thing to do, leaving your family for the promise of a boyfriend!\nMen will come and go, families are forever!\nRef: Escort: your local police dept can assign a police officer to your house, to keep you safe and escort you out.
801580
If your going to be a PI you should know the answer to this. it depends on your state.  Call you local district attorneys office or your state office of professional licensing.  In NY its the department of professional licensing.  Then they tell you how to get one or download one and the fees and requirements, I suggest you do the legwork. its faster. and until you have a concealed pistol permit and adequate insurance i would carry a stun gun or a collapsible baton.  Practice your boxing and martial arts as well as having some friends kick the crap  of you to see if you can still take a beating, have a great camera and video camera because a lot is divorce spouse work at first.  That turns ugly real quick.
263511
This is hard to answer without knowing what state you are in......but I can give you a few general answers.  1st....the protective order stands wether or not your wife choses to enforce it.  2nd, they'll have a difficult time proving this crime without your wife's support.  3rd.....if you've been arrested 3 times prior for the same thing, you either need to get out of the relationship, or seek counseling.  It's fairly safe to say you have a problem.
1055774
First of all you don't mention your age but one must assume that you are over 18 at least. Is this child from him or from another man? Don't bother with a restraining order because they are only as good a the law enforcement in your town. There have been a number of women killed by boyfriends after they have a restraining order placed. Take No. 2's advise. Get the heck out of Dodge or where ever you live and do it quick. Don't let anyone know where you are that can tell HIM! It is for your safty as well as that of your daughter. The man is a psyciopath and you should make a report to the local police before you leave. It is a crime to threaten someone else with bodily injury. Not to mention that he has said that he will will have your daughter KILLED. At least the law enforcement will be on the look out. Once you have moved away use your mothers maiden name because you can do that legaly. Don't list your phone number either. Just initials and no address. If it were me I'd move to a different state. I would put as much distence between him and me as I could. It may be hard at first but you will be alive and well. If you stay it may take him months to do what he says he is going to do but trust me he will eventually do it and then it will be too late. Men that talk that way usually do so to intimidate, but then they need more power over you and they start to do things physicaly to the people they say they will hurt. Talk to the law or the DA in your town and they may be able to give you more advise. No matter weather you take my advise or theirs PLEASE take your own advise and get out of there. Hope this helps and may God watch over you and your daughter. Be Safe If you need to talk to someone email me at Whilemom47@yahoo.com
381890
The only way you can help your husband is to hire an immigration lawyer. The US Department of Homeland Security sucks for locking up your husband like that! Get your family to help pay for a immigration lawyer if you can't pay. I will pray for you and may God bless you and your family, it sounds like he was locked up based on discrimination!\n\nCall the Mexican consulate too!! Maybe they can help
459015
you can be certain that if you do that and he has already complied with the mandates you are going to have attorneys from the ACLU, and multiple other organizations fighting for the right to dignity. do you know all of the facts? Or just what you have been told. Who the hell are you are you male or female? If you are male I would be careful you might be the next one getting out in 2 weeks 20 years down the road.
853247
I restraining order works rather well, and so does relocation. He may become dangerous and may try to hurt you. I would definitely seek the help of the authorities. Talk to a policeman and see what they can do or what you should do. Keep friends and family around whenever possible. Do not go anywhere by yourself.
210001
Your husband may have a mental disorder but he still has rights and if he is being released the agency must feel he can function in society.  This does not mean they are right but they are only following the rules of the agency.  If the doctor felt he should still be hospitalized they would ask for a Judicial Commitment. They can not keep him if they believe he is better.  It is unfortunate that your husband is not giving you more information or including you in the discharge plane because it may help ease some of your fears. Since you do not have any proof that your son has seen your husband acting out sexually it may be difficult to prove.  Also, I don't see how the therapist could have you son removed if he has no proof of abuse. What he has is a possible event in which your son saw your husband participating in cyber sex.  How many children have walked on their parents having sex? I am not saying your reason is not valid or a reason for concern I am just saying it just may not be consider abuse or neglect. \n\nSo where does that leave you and your son? You are his mother and if you feel he has been affected by your husband sexual voyeurism please do everything possible to protect him.  Do you have your own income, can you move out, is there a friend or family member you can stay with.  Are you afraid of your husband?  You may need to contact a women's shelter if you have run out of options.  It may also be possible that your husband has gotten better but his disorder is too difficult for you to manage.  If this is the case it may be time for you to start taking steps to dissolving the marriage and living on your own.  It is very difficult to live with someone with a mental disorder especially someone with an Axis I of DID.  I know right now you feel lonely, frustrated, and angry.  It may appear that everyone is looking out for your husband but there are know options for you son.  If I were you I would call child protection myself to start an investigation go with your guts because it is better to be safe than sorry.
1017051
If you can't afford a lawyer, you can call & get the 1st consulation free. Stay on the cops butts & pester the D.A. until the do their jobs & put him in jail. Then you should get full custody again. Good luck!
467785
get your son back call the police firstly. Secondly, your husband needs a clip over the ears how selfish he is to put you under so much pressure. Can't he see he is killing you. Go to counselling and get him to AA. \n\nStand up for your rights and do what you know is best. If he refuses kick him out!