A termite walks into a bar and sits down?
958038
Nice, I always appreciate a good one liner.
1039005
The bartender looks up and says, "What is this, some kind of joke?!"\n\nBa-dum, chhh!
870854
Your gut is hitting the space bar when you lean forward over the bar.
487047
A dog limps into a bar, looks around angrily and says, "I'm lookin' fer the man who shot my paw."\n\nA horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Hey buddy, why the long face."
768048
There is a fly in your room.
1035507
the end of the universe? there is a restauranut there......
549638
there's most likely a clause in the lease saying they can enter when they deem it necessary, like putting out a fire if you're not there, or checking for a reported problem when you're gone.  he's probably just abusing this.  either deal with it or suck it up and move.
347498
A terrified and wounded ant.
485860
down at you local bar LoL!!!
499659
Yes I do in fact.  The other day I was having a party (on my neighbors roof) and I decided to let my pet ant (Granny) have a drink of my mudslide.   Actually it was all jUjU's idea, but I will never tell anyone that.  So any ways, he was drinking away and he got up to go pee and kept falling over on its ride side.  Again and again and again, until finally he passed out cold.  Go figure.  I carried him home and tucked him in.  He is all better now BTW, just in case you wanted to send a card or flowers or something.  :)
1136381
Poop\n\nIt is an exit not an entrance.
357435
...at your mates house...
243767
so you aren't going to meet me at the bar\n\nwhaaaa  whaaaaaa
926597
It leaks out onto the floor.
715197
A place where party animals hangout.
764933
♥A GUY GOES IN A BAR & THERE IS A POT OF $ & A HORSE HE ASKS THE BAR TENDER WHAT IS WITH THE HORSE & POT OF $ WELL THE BAR TENDER SAID IF U CAN MAKE THE HORSE LAUGH U CAN HAVE THE POT OF $ SO THE GUY BRINGS THE HORSE IN THE BACK ROOM & LIKE 2 MIN LATER HE COMES OUT & THE HORSE IS LAUGHING. THE NEXT DAY HE COMES BACK & THERE IS THE SAME HORSE & A DIFFERENT POT OF $ SO HE ASKED THE BAR TENDER WHAT HE HAD TO DO TO DAY & THE BAR TENDER SAID WELL U HAVE TO MAKE THE HORSE CRY SO THE GUY BROUGHT THE HORSE IN THE BACK & LIKE 2 MIN LATTER HE COMES OUT & THE HORSE IS CRYING. THE BAR TENDER SAID B4 U GET THE POT OF $ U HAVE 2 TELL ME HOW U MADE THE HORSE LAUGH & CRY. SO THE GUY SAID 2 MAKE HIM LAUGH I TOLD HIM I HAD A BIGGER DICK THEN HIM 2 MAKE HIM CRY I SHOWED HIM. \n\nI HOPE THAT MADE U LAUGH.♥
923587
My chocolate bar is open?!\nWho ate it?\nSomeone gonna get hurt here....