Keeping  Estranged Husband From Entering Our Marital Home Whenever He Chooses?
956126
WHY WOULD YOU WANT HIM BACK?\n\nWHY WOULD YOU SIT THERE AND WAIT FOR HIM TO DECIDE WHAT YOU ARE GOING TO DO WITH YOUR LIFE?\n\nTAKING HIM BACK WOULD TEACH THE WRONG MESSAGE TO YOUR CHILDREN.\n\nIT'S BETTER FOR THEM TO COME FROM A BROKEN HOME THAN TO LIVE IN ONE.\n\nYOUR HUSBAND JUST DOESN'T WANT TO BE RESPONSIBLE FOR ALIMONY AND CHILD SUPPORT.  BUT IT'S WHAT YOU DESERVE FOR HIS INFIDELITY AND ABANDONMENT.\n\nYOU SHOULD CHANGE THE LOCKS AND GET A TEMPORARY RESTRAINING ORDER.  WORK OUT VISITATION DETAILS IN A DIVORCE DECREE.\n\nYOU SHOULD NOT ALLOW YOUR CHILDREN TO SEE HIM ABUSE AND CONTROL OU LIKE THIS, AND THEY SHOULDN'T SEE YOU ALLOW IT TO HAPPEN OR ACCEPT IT WHEN IT DOES.\n\nHE HAS CLEARLY MADE HIS CHOICE AND IT IS NOT YOU OR HIS OWN FAMILY.  HE HAS STARTED A NEW ONE AND REPLACED YOU.  THERE'S NOTHING THAT CAN EXPAIN, JUSTIFY, OR MAKE THAT ALL RIGHT.\n\nWHY GIVE HIM ANY CONTROL OVER YOU?  HE'S NOT WORTH IT.
761878
Go to your husband's parents!\n\nFailing that, go to your own, so they will not be by themselves.
1052625
I'm in the same position you are.  I cannot STAND my hubby's ex, and the very idea of her setting foot on my property makes me crazy.\n\nThat being said, your opinion is not the important one here - it's the child's.  The 9 year old will not understand why his mommy can't come into his house, regardless of how you explain it to him.  However, it is okay to make certain rooms off limits to ALL visitors (not just mom) - and make sure he knows which ones.\n\nShe's just trying to get under your skin - and by being bothered by her actions is letting her win.  Just smile, be civil, and pretend everything is right as rain.  It'll bug the heck out of her.  Good luck!
422284
I really hate to break this to you but its not good.  He sounds very controlling.  My recommendation is that you both go through pre-marital counceling or split up.  If he is doing this, this early on, he is sending you very strong clues as to what he will be like once the papers are signed.  Please, postpone the wedding if its set or stop the engagement.  He has to want to change.  You cant make him do so.  At the same token, you dont deserve to be belittled at all by ANY person.  That is called verbal and emotional abuse.  And, when there is abuse of any kind this early on, it tends to escalate later.  You are not his property.  He can not tell you what to do.  I know this will be so hard for you because its obvious that you still love him but you have to believe me on this one.  I was married to 2 men that did very similar things to what you just discribed.  It dam near ruined me.  \n\nPack your stuff if you are living together and leave.  Tell him you will return once he has gotten counceling and not before that.  Dont take his appologies because abusers will appologize, be good for a SHORT time, then do it all over again and each time will be worse.  I speak from experience.  And I pray for your sanity right now.  I really hope you do the right thing.  This time, listen to your head and not your heart.
131863
Explain to your husband that you love him but you need your own space away from his family.  Move out and leave room for him in case he follows you.  Give yourself a few weeks of peace and quiet.  \n\nIf you can't afford to move away from them, try to get some counseling for you and your husband.  A counselor will have a better chance of getting through to him and make him understand that you need your privacy and you two should get your own life....Good luck!
375490
I had a similar situation with a brother-in-law.  To save the family embarressment I told my husband and since then he never leaves me in the room alone with him.  Ignore the advances or if they get too bad, just say no.
285573
Move back into the same room, being separate will not help!\nTry  for a weekend get away.
176417
Go to their homes and/or invite them when he's not there.  You really need to discuss the issue with him if it's that important (yeah i know, easier said than done).  Maybe marriage counseling, if this marriage is worth it.  If not...
778090
sound like the twin of my ex mother in law. I am assuming her hubby isn't around to torture anymore. Hubby feels like she is protecting his interest. He needs to be reminded of who his interests really are. Ultimatum time. Don't let this unhappy person get you down to her level, where she will be more comfortable with you. Move away. Find her a Hobie, like "find your way home"
1133554
Whether or not you get a divorce, your marriage has been over for a long time. Your husband broke a trust, and your heart as well.\nWomen remain in marriages for financial security sometimes. If that is why you are still married, I understand. However, you do not love the man you are married to anymore. There is no "home" at your address. You family is NOT "together", even if they're in the same house.\nThe minute your husband broke your marriage contract by having an affair, you had no more moral obligation to remain in the contract. \nSome women (like Jackie Kennedy) do not mind a philandering husband. You are not one of those women. \nYou could give him the benefit of the doubt. But, if you decide to do that, you need to tell him you can only stay married to him if he agrees to marriage counseling. Tell him you have tried to forgive and forget but that his old patterns are resurfacing and you are insecure because of the past.\nYou will know, probably, by his reaction to your confrontation, whether he wants a marriage or not.\nIt does get better. The future is brighter. I wish you the best of luck.
220746
Call a lawer and ask if you can get the divorce on the grounds of abandonment. He doesn't have to be there if you can do that.
322075
Ehh, I am going to go out on a limb here, and say that you shouldn't AUTOMATICALLY leave him, unless he is still activly particpating in his marriage, in which case you should.  I have to say that I was married, but not (we were separated), and I started a relationship with an amazing woman, but I was up front about my status.  Give him a chance to explain himself, if you don't like what he has to say then you can slap him and leave.  Don't act to hasty, get the lay of the land before you make a decision.  Good luck my dear, I hope it turns out ok.
1184979
You have to. \n\nI once saw a TV show (Donahue I think) in which the main variable worldwide for successful marriages was that the husband had somewhere to run to to hide. Could be a basement, garage, shed, bar, whatever. If spouses don't give each other some space, sooner or later they will want to kill each other.
760078
Ex-husband or boyfriend? If he has no legal claim over the house call the cops. If he does then leaving with your kids sounds like the only reasonable option.
753005
Patricia, we have talked in part about this. I went threw the same thing with my ex husband a long time ago. He didn't want the divorce either and it took me a long time to get mine as well. He can be made to sign those papers. He is a controlling type of man and he is thinking as long as he don't sign those papers, he still has some control over you. If you can try not to even talk to him at all. As long as he thinks he has controll at all over you, he is not going to stop. Don't let him get you down. Just keep pushing the issue. Mine was nit picking me, he would want something so small, picture, bottle of oil, etc. I did get mine, but was wondering.
57655
When you've done everything possible, you've become a perfect wife or husband, sought professional counselling, listened to his/her point of view and are an expert at meeting your spouses needs and put him/her before yourself or your kids.\n\nThen, if your spouse is still abusive, cheating, or refuses to see the importance of his/her role to meet those needs, give them fair warning that you are not willing to live in a marriage where your needs are not being met with the same enthusiasm as you meet his/her needs.\n\nAfter the warning time is over, and it's obvious that your spouse is unwilling to stop their hurtful or selfish behavior, unwilling to attend counselling, get treatment, or whatever, you then seek divorce.\n\nBut don't do it until you've given fair notice and you've done all you can to be the model husband or wife you promised to be.\n\nUltimately, you only have control over what you do, and perhaps you can win over your reluctant spouse with your behavior.\n\nOr, as in my case, sometimes your spouse will not stop the behavior and it's best to be apart from them.  But give it time and a chance and use that time to work on your role as a husband or wife.  \n\nYou can then hold your head up high, saying you've done the best you can, and you will be more appealing to another mate.
540598
remembering to sign a new last name.  saying 'we' instead of 'I'.  Relinquishing all control over any and all electrical devices, esspecially the remote's.  Getting used to having to answer to someone else again about where you've been, where you're going, who you'll be with, and when you'll be back, and why.....just like dear old dad!  Having a whole other set of family member's (in laws) to send Thank you notes, Birthday and Christmas cards too!  If you forget, it's always your fault and not your husband's, even though it's his family.  You must get used to washing, drying and folding your husbands underware, careful to overlook and never touch the huge brown skid marks!  (Women never get these, why do men?!)  You must clean yellow stains off the toilet rim and around the base of the toilet, only to put the seat down before going, or you may risk falling into his unflushed mess!?  Be prepared to be treated more like a sister and less like a lover!  No matter how much your husband cooked, cleaned or did laundry before you were married, he suddenly will have no recolection of how to complete any of the above tasks!  Sex becomes WAY less frequent and exciting, for men, more about the destination and less about the journey!  Conversation becomes replaced with a series of 'uh huh" responses while he pretends to pay attention to what your saying, while playing his playstation 2 or X Box.  Once children enter the picture, be prepared to be a slave, never having time for yourself again!  Doesn't it sound wonderful?!  Well it must be, cause everybody's doing it!?  Come on!  Jump off a bridge!!\nI guess it beats living with a bunch of cats!?!?  ...debatable!  LOL!!!