what is the funniest seinfeld quote?
961527
"Master of my domain"\n\n"Festivus for the rest of us!!"\n\n"They're gonna think we're gay! Not that there is anything wrong with that."\n\n" hello...Newman"\n\n"I WAS IN THE POOL!! Its shrinkage!!"\n\n" I invented, its not you, its me"
696309
"damn, sh*t, respect my f*cking authoritah!"\n\n"dog sh*t taco!"\n\n"blood drenched frozen tampon popsicle!"\n\n"f*cl! sh*t! c*ck! azz! t*tties! b*ner! b*tch! m*ff! p*ssy! c*ck! butthole!  barbra streisand!!!!"
882313
Pepe the Prawn in Muppets From Space he has all the best lines.\n\nRizzo: Are you telling me we came out here in the middle of the night for a stupid egg? \nPepe: Sh! It could be full of chocolate, okay. \n\nPepe: You tell him, and I will smack you. I will smack you like a bad, bad donkey, okay!
257167
Superman.\n\nSuperman was the only character apart from the regular cast who featured in every episode of Seinfeld, either by name or in pictures which featured on Jerry's fridge, or a statue that sits on his shelf (next to the door to his bedroom/bathroom).\nSome of the numerous references to Superman and Superheros are listed below:\n\nA magnet of Superman is on Jerry's refrigerator.\n\nA Superman statue is sitting on a shelf near Jerry's stereo.\n\nJerry has referred to Elaine as Lois Lane.\n\nJerry refers to a girlfriend's apartment as the Fortress of Solitude.\n\nJerry wonders aloud if the reason one of his girlfriend's always wears the same dress is because she has a bunch of them just like Superman has a bunch of identical costumes and capes.\n\nWhen Jerry dates a woman that will not laugh at his jokes he comments that jokes bounch off of her like she is Superman.\n\nJerry refers to one of Elaine's poor boyfriends as "the got no green lantern" a reference to another DC comics character (other than Superman) Green Lantern.\n\nJerry refers to people he meets that apppear to be opposites of George and Kramer as the Bizarros.\n\nJerry refers to people's nemesis as Lex Luthor. "Who is your Lex Luthor" is a phrase Jerry uses often. Elaine's Lex Luthor is Sue Ellen the woman that wears a bra as a top for example.\n\nJerry picks the phrase Jor-El as his bank pin number.\n\nWhen one of Elaine's boyfriend "the mimbo" is in the hospital as a result of a rock climbing accident which disfigures him, George brings Superman comic books to cheer him up.\n\nJerry compares the lipreading powers of one of his girlfriend's to Superman's X-ray vision. George considers lipreading just a skill like juggling.\n\nAfter George orders a supposed cure for baldness from China, Jerry comments that a world without baldness is like a nation of Supermen.\n\nJerry wins a race against someone who thought he cheated on a race in High School to the music from "Superman: The Movie".\n\nJerry has referred to people's weaknesses as Kryptonite.
1001129
I know this guy, who knows this guy, who knows this guy, who knows this guy, who knows this guy, who knows this guy, who knows this guy, who knows this guy, who knows this guy, who knows this guy, who knows this guy, who knows this guy, who knows this guy, who knows this guy, who knows this guy, who knows this guy, who knows this guy, who knows this guy, who knows this guy, who knows this guy, who knows this guys cousin.........\n\nLMAO I couldn't stop laughing.\n\nAnd when Spongebob made that bubble in the shape of an elephant and Patrick bursts out laughing and says "It's a Giraffe!"
15949
Comic Book guy. Evidence:\n\n"Oh, a *sarcasm* detector. Oh, that's a *really* useful invention!" And it explodes from overload.\n\n"Stop right there! I have the only working fazer ever built. It was fired only once to keep William Shatner from making another album."\n\n"Last night's "Itchy & Scratchy" was, without a doubt, the worst episode ever. Rest assured that I was on the Internet within minutes, registering my disgust throughout the world."\n\nComic Book Guy: Yes, I would like to return your quote-unquote *ultimate* belt.\nClerk: I see. Do you a receipt, quote-unquote sir?\nComic Book Guy: No, I do not have a receipt. I won it as a door prize at a Star Trek convention, although I find their choice of prize highly illogical, as the average Trekker has no need of a medium-size belt.\n\n"Ack. There is no "emoticon" to express what I am feeling right now."\n\nThis one sums up his character nicely: "Human contact: the final frontier."
655609
"Me fail English? That's unpossible!"\n\n-Ralph Wiggum
842380
"Hello Newman "said Jerry, Jerry Dingleberry. "What brings you to this side of town". \n"Well, Jerry "he replied "the yogurt verdict is in...FAT .I was here to test theory but I couldn't find the stuff. I knew it must be around here somewhere. I thought the aroma of strawberry would send me in the right direction.  I'd thought, what am I...hard of smelling? "\n"You don't say, " said Jerry, "tell me more".\n"Well I was seraching high and low, you know really trying to sniff it out. Then out of nowhere here comes Elaine, jumping on my back and yelling "mmmm giddyup, giddyup. It seems it was all a joke. There never was any yogurt and this was the most public yet of my humiliations. "\n"Well, you know what they say" replied Jerry "no good deed goes unpunished"
752163
Mine is either "Let it be" or "If you can't impress them with intelligence, baffle them with bullshit!"
794513
I love Seinfeld.  Last night, it was Jerry's father teaching George about bras. "How long does it take to find a bra?  Tell me to get a pair of underwear, I'm back in two seconds."
1000765
family guy quote.... when they whole gang is in the nursing home and Quagmire says " all right giggity giggity oops I pooped a little"  and Cleavland says "oh that's nasty"\n\nFav Will & Grace epi. would deffinitly be where Jack and Will wake up together.
950345
Complete the words ( the funnier the better )?\n1 if i had 10 fish in a bucket I would be doing better than Michael Richards\n\n2 i had a freind over for dinner and we never talked about it again\n\n3 oh no the monster ate my friend who came over for dinner\n4 follow the yellow brick road -take a right at the lady crushed by the house and keep going until you see the 1st apple tree.\n5 today the traffic jam was too long i made toast\n6 games to play in the car count the people on the cell phone\n7 there is something about thanksgiving stuffing\n8 when it rains cats and dogs I stay inside\n9 i told him that he would be shark bait -but i was wrong...he was actually jail bait\n10 when the worm has turned -it is time to get some more tequila
463117
www.firehotquotes.com \n\nthey have some there.. && if you just wanna joke around, take a look at the others too.
1030986
My very favorite line has to be Inigo Montoya's "Hello.  My name is Inyigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die."\n\nBut after that it's \n\nFezzick: (for the umpteenth time) "Inconceivable!"\nInyigo:  "You keep saying this word.  I do not think it means what you think it means."
929015
thats fucking hilarious\nbest joke tonight by a mile\ntotally excellent   i take my hat off to that
1098561
"I love the fact that this is quite obviously a clever joke and not everyone has got it. HE'S IN TWO MINDS AS TO SEEK HELP. COME ON PEOPLE! Pay attention!"\n\nI love the above quote.\n\nAll of the answers up to his were ironic and he didn't get it. Reminds me of someone I used to know, my secret friend, mini me!
573067
"Am I to spend the entire day wallowing around in my own feces? A little service here."\n\nDefinitely Stewie. :o)\n\n"I love God. He's so deliciously evil."