How many more suicides at Christmas will it take before fathers get equal custody rights to their children?
970905
I can understand exactly where your coming from. It must be horrendous  to have Christmas without your kids and some dads not even being able to buy or send a present or even a card. That's enough to drive you to suicide, and that's why some dads do it. Its the act of not seeing their kids which puts them in that situation, and your right this is ordinary guys who may not even have done anything wrong to make the marriage breakdown in the first place but they have to suffer.\nWhen my first husband and I split up we both made sure the kids came first and there never was any issues over where they stayed, if they wanted to spend Christmas with him then that was fine with me as he was a great dad but not a great husband. Kids are now grown up and still have a great relationship with him.\nAs a mum I would not like to be in the position some dads are put in.\n\nTry and remember this is temporary, your kids will grow up mum, can only have custody til they are 16.  They will knock on your door one day. and then you'll be able to give them your side of the story.if mum has them til 16 you might have them til 70 you will win in the end, take care
1003718
I know exactly what you're talking about.  My mother and I got custody of my nephew after my sister screwed up.  He was taken from her, we had a choice: foster home or with us.  I think its completely ridiculous to not put your child with family, that's her support system.  You can talk with the social worker.  Most social service departments (Department of Children and Families, Child Protective Services, Department of Children Society, etc.)  their goal is reunification with the natural birth mother.  We wanted to help my sister get him back until she started abusing drugs and alcohol again and married an abusive and violent piece of crap.  Now we are struggling to keep him far from that, and they are pushing for him to go back, even after her 3 DUI's and domestic violence charges in the last 3 years.  Every state is different, but hopefully someone at CPS can help you and you can start on the road to recovery and 'prove' yourself and follow the case plan.  Unless they terminate your parental rights, you always have the right to petition the court for replacement.  I wish you the best of luck!!!
1112564
I live in Georgia and am a man. My ex wife is abusively controlling. After our divorce she turned into super mom. Having to control every tiny thing about the children to the point of obsession. My son wants to be with me and my attorney says the judges have to consider a request at 12, strongly consider at 13, and no choice but accept the request at 14. Unless the request isnt in the best interest of the child, ie... the requested parent is a crimminal or drug addict etc...
779426
THE ONLY ONES WHO ARE GOING TO BE AFFECTED BY THEIR DIVORCE ARE THEIR CHILDREN !!!\nI FEEL SORRY FOR THOSE 2 (TWO) KIDS FOR HAVING THOSE LAME IRRESPONSIBLE PARENTS !!! :(
1179960
None .  I'm sorry you have to go through something like that . I will remember you in my Prayers tonight . My kids went through that and now they don't speak to him b/c of empty promise's on his part .But my kids are fine and they have a awesome father in there life that Loves them more than words can say . I pray that is what will happen in your life . May God Bless and Keep you in his warm embrace . Rest in knowing that he is the one missing out not you.
1042377
See an attorney. And the childrens father must give consent.
726150
I thought for a moment you were putting something new forward here, but this is the same old tired rhetoric of the fundamentalists.\n\nSince 1976, 43,000,000 terminations have been carried out. If they'd all gone to term, who would have raised these children? Not the mothers, because they didn't want them. And not adoptive parents - right now in this country there are only 1.8 million adopted children. So these children would have been housed and raised by the state.\n\nPlease don't tell me there are thousands of caring families waiting to adopt - it isn't true. Our care homes are stuffed full of American children that cannot be placed with a family, because everyone wants a cute little baby - not a three year old with developmental problems caused by their mother's drug abuse. Americans would rather adopt a baby from 14,000 miles away than take care of an American child. \n\nSo if your dream came true and terminations were made illegal, aside from the many deaths resulting from attempted back-street terminations, just what would you do with all those children?
241231
well, it depends, how many more American fathers, mothers, sons, and daughters do you want to die overseas?
881392
I used to babysit for this couple who had six children. Four of the children were adopted, the sister decided to get rid of them one night and called DCF to take them away. The sister/couple adopted them. Anyways, the younger boy was born addicted to cocain. His mother was an avid user and the night she decided to get rid of her kids was because she needed a sitter to go out! That was 10 years ago. The boy who was born cocain addicted has been in and out of the psychiatric hospital 4 times now and is currently in there again waiting for an accute place to open up, 6 to 9 month minium. He suffers from PTSD, ADD and uncontrollable behavior. He can be the sweetest child in the world and then he snaps! He is on meds and has been since 2. He has taken adderal, lexipro, lithium, so many I forget. He has had trouble in school and at home. He recently took a knife to the school football game with intentions of stabbing his older brother. He is violent towards his siblins and his aunt. He has hurt and attacked all of them in some way. He is quite intelligent but has problems with his thought process. He is 10 years old! His psychologist does not think that he can survive in a normal setting. When he was little, I would have to sit behind him and hold his arms and legs tight because he would slam his head and body against walls and floors. As for the other kids/his siblins. Three out of the four have needed psychiartric help and were on meds too. They were not born cocain addicted as far as we know BUT they grew up with it in the home, grew up areound constant violence, seeing dad beat mom up and put her in the hospital. The oldest boy of the four had to grow up quick as did his sister. They took on the parenting role immedietly. Grew up too quick! The oldest has been in jail twice now and was also hospitalized for depression, cutting and drugs. He has been abusive towards his siblins and lies all the time. He is now 18! I ahve to tell you, this is probably not what you needed but the fact is that an addicted parent most definetly has addicted children in one way or another. Nothing good comes from drugs. I still have contact with this family, mainly the kids and it breaks my heart what they have and still are going through. Good luck with your paper! Oh and btw, every program like, dcf, i-caps and therapists have been in the home and still are. It never ends!
47427
I wouldn't think you have much to worry about. I have spent many years in custody court. Usually fighting for child support. First off, depending on the state, usually the courts like to keep children with their mother unless she is really unfit. Second off, he is living with his parents. Shows he has no way the keep himself let alone 4 kids up. If he really wanted the kids, he would have to have a home for them, with enough bedrooms, and beds, and be real active in their lives, school, church, activities, etc.. Then he would have to show the judge why they shouldn't be with you, EX.. you are unfit, never home, alcohol or drug abuse present, and that the children are in iminent danger staying with you. From what you have said sounds like you have the kids best interest at heart. Trust me, judges have seen and heard it all when it comes to just using the custody hearings to upset the mother. Be calm and tell the truth. It does work! Hope this helps you!
619621
That depends on the laws in your state. MOre states are passing laws that make it easier to terminate right of fathers(and mothers) who dont pay child support or dont see their kids. You need to contact a lawyer or legal services in your state. Most have a free initial consult. They can tell you what your options are. Goodluck!
1117151
That depends on what state you live in and how many children you have.  Try www.cirs.org  they may be able to help
1084790
Custody decisions are never final- if there is good reason for a change, the court will look at it and it sounds like, in this case, there is no question your dad would lose custody, parent privilege, as well maybe even visitation time.\nBesides that, make sure you talk to someone- because if you've already been suicidal, I am afraid you might follow your dad's patterns of drug abuse.  \nAlso, I disagree that you need to be there for your dad and that he doesn't know what he's doing.  Your dad needs to be there for _you_, not vice versa.  And, also, no matter how high a person is, they still have awareness- I have been messed up myself on drugs, so I know this.\nPlease talk to someone at your school, or call an anonymous 1-800 number for counseling. \nYou can also call CPS if it's that bad, although I know that could be difficult to do to your family.  But if no one's looking out for you, you have to do it yourself. \nGood luck.
430052
Wow, I had one of these guys too...there are so many around it is unfortunate.  In my humble opinion, real people with issues get screwed because of dead beat dad and lying mothers.  There are so many guys that ditch a girl when she gets pregnant that when the court sees a guy who wants to be involved, they don't really care why. It's financial too..they figure if the guys is sending money, the state won't have to.  And so many women lie to get back at the guy, that we have lost our credibility in the courtroom.  I really feel for your situation.  Here is what I did..I spent years and thousands upon thousands of dollars trying to do the right thing through the court, and constantly getting told that I was wrong, etc...it made me crazy.  So, I just threw the door open to the guy..said lets stop fighting, this is ridiculous, neither of us can afford this, etc.  Said, visit whenever you want...and guess what?  Since the ball was in his court, he barely comes around anymore.  I don't know if you wish your children to have a relationship with their father or not...not that I think you wish them to not have a father, but if he is abusive, etc...I don't know what your situation is there, but this worked for me.  Best of luck to you, and hang in there.
7255
because traditionally, even though the father went out to work to provide for his family, the mother was the primary carer for the children, spending much more time with them and creating a closer bond.  Obviously this system is now antiquated and needs a complete overhaul to establish what is actually in the best interests of the child.  In most cases the mother will still be the favourite of the courts but many more fathers are now being recognised as the 'better' parent.
604136
Follow court orders or you will risk losing your children.  Contact the court and request for a hearing before the judge.
548882
It hardly seems fair. One would have the right to expect the bio father to be chased up or tracked down for payments. That's very strange. In Australia I think that would only happen if he had legally adopted them. My ex brought my son up for 12yrs before we separated but never legally adopted him and even though we did have the first step of adoption done, ie a legal name change, he didn't have to pay a cent toward him because he denied him, and the proposed adoption. My son was devastated. In your situation I'd be seeking legal advice and see perhaps if there is or has been a legal precedence in relation to the situation. I hope your man is done havn kids...I know five is enough for me...lol