Problem with making the mood with an older woman. Please help!?
959232
This is an awful situation. \n\nYou lie there with an erection, emabarassed not knowing what to do.\n\nYou have to ask her if you can kiss her, and see what happens.\nIf she says no, then you have to ask yourself what the point of the whole exercise is.\n\nThere are a good number of women who don't like sex out there.
752903
I think that your communication is weak. She might be massageing her ego, or being curious, These are things that do come up when things appear to get old. Your reaction is what set her off. You care a lot about her. This is very hard but you must try and let this go, be strong and confident in yourself, that is attractive. She must be looking for some juice, look at yourself, and find out way, then dont cry. Dont be a whiner demander of all, and need s everthing as if mother was home. You have to accept that she loves life and all tha goes with it. We areHungry for love, You must try and live with some pain to build are heart for future desire. Be a cool bad ass man that has love coming his way. Dont just demand it. live it, be it.
1092439
depends what stage of the relationship you are in with her.  if you've already had sex together, and just want to know how to get her in the mood to do it again, foreplay works great.  if she's totally not in the mood, stimulating her genitals directly is not a good idea.  you need to stimulate her mind first.  try watching a movie with a romantic love scene.  also telling her what you like about her works wonders.  not like, "remember that bra you were wearing last time we got it on?  that thing was HOT!" but something like, "you are so cute when you sleep" or "i love that you are so passionate about your job."  it will get her feeling positively towards you, and then you can move in for some kissing or something.  lots of kissing will work wonders, and pretty much everyone loves a massage so you two can take turns on each other.  but you shouldn't make the next move.  get her to the point where she is just dying to jump you, then let her.  :)\n\na side note on this.... it may turn out that she is in the mood for kissing but not sex because of *ahem* her hormonal cycle.  some girls have a really low sex drive while they are on their period, for example, and also might be uncomfortable with the idea of sex during that time.  don't stick your hand in her pants all of a sudden because you and she might be unpleasantly surprised.\n\nif you two haven't been sexually intimate, it's harder to jump right in.  young or inexperienced women may not realize that what they are doing has such a strong effect with regards to turning you on.  for this reason, it doesn't hurt to talk about it, tell her where you'd like to see the relationship go and how soon.  explain to her that her style of dress or method of kissing makes it much harder for you to resist her.  say that you'd love to make love to her but if she isn't ready she might want to tone it down a bit so that she isn't sending signals she doesn't mean to send.  always be polite/gentlemanlike and don't pressure her.  she will feel more comfortable with you as a result.  some women, if they are comfortable... they'll want to have sex with their man all the time.  if yours is still reluctant, apply the techniques listed above.\n\nin any stage of the relationship, women value courtship (the whole door-opening thing, helping her into her coat, all that).  be polite and respectful.  also keep the lines of communication open.  tell her what you like and encourage her to tell you what she likes (then do it!).
929816
You need to sit her down and discuss it with her. If she's worth every ounce of energy you have left, that's something SHE should know..tell her. Ask her why she gets in those ...is moods a good word?.......You have to communicate how you feel and what your thinking to her,....then she will let out what she's keeping in, then you guys can get back down to business. But you HAVE to talk to her about it. Women will not tell you what's wrong, you have to wheedle it out of them....it's not that they are being mean, that's just their nature. Trust me talk with her about it, be patient and LISTEN, and she will tell you everything.
837833
Well, i guess it's normal to feel that way. I'm 28 and my husband is 38. He's having the same problem. So what we did is that after all the girls are in bed we spent sometimes in front of the TV and watch movies that we like. At the same try to flirt around with each other. Kissing and touching and hugging...etc. At this moment do not have any limits or borders towards each other. Just do what ever you like. Even if it's in the kitchen!
90436
Women in their 40's often to experience a drop off in their sexual drives. They are often concerned about getting pregnant at a time when they are moving on past the childbearing years and concerned that if they get pregnant there will be a high risk of genetic defects. They are also experiencing a decline in physical energy compared to their younger years. Considering these factors, the lack of interest is probably not related to the relationship so much as her own body's aging. However, intimacy is much more than what happens in the marriage bed. It is what happens through the day. Improve that, and you will inevitably improve both emotional and physical closeness.\n\nYou need to consider your wife's personality. If you are not sure, research love languages. There is a book by that title if you cannot find any onformation on the net. Basically, some people feel best loved when given things. Others feel loved best through words spoken. The third type feel most loved by spending time with them. The last type feels loved through gifts of service.\n\nFor my type of personality and age (I am 42), a racy sex toy would not be a turn on. I would feel like the gift was a shout saying let's skip real intimacy and get to the sex part. Intimacy to me is based on an emotional relationship as first place. My love language is time. One on one time doing activities that are out of the ordinary to everyday life would draw me closer. A hand in hand walk through the neighborhood, a surprise candle-lit dinner, being beside me in the work of the day around the house, etc.\n\nIf you speak the language your wife needs, I am sure intimacy will increase. As conversation allows a natural discussion of it, communicate what language you like best. It will make her feel good to be filling your emotional love needs too.
628357
It's a fetish. If it doesn't bother you, then play along...if it does bother you, tell her and compromise on another way for her to indicate she is in the mood.
338266
Damn, there's a toughy....Try talking about it, let her know that u want to try other things when u both have the time to prolong sex for u both...try oral sex after cuming to keep her in the mood...very gently though....Heck, ask her if she would ever consider bondage and role play, she might surprise you and when she's tied up, it's hard to say no to seconds...LOL
1157892
no, try this, have lots of foreplay and make it about her for like 30 min. don't be stengey them get behind her and while you are making love to her (the nice way to put it) put your finger on the top of her clit and rub. i almost promise that will make her scream
696924
Before you talk of love, you need to get her into a romantic setting.  Her willingness to go with you into a romantic setting expresses her interest in you.  So invite her to a nice place for dinner, and talk of who you are, listen to who she is, take your time, and see what sort of reactions you are getting.  Talk of love only after you can tell from the way she is acting that she will not laugh at you.  \n\nDon't let the age difference bother you; it's not excessive.  A man of 30 is very close to at the peak of his powers, and a woman of 21 is almost exactly at the peak of hers.  So you two should make a terrific couple, with education and interests you share.  \n\nGood luck!
965416
try asking her if she was being put off by something you did.. or try to arouse her interest by touching her sensual parts lightly.. or try not asking her for some time. Show more care for her even when you don't intend to have sex.. sometimes, she just feels uncared for and thus has no interest in sex \n\nTry having a romantic time out or staying home to build up sexual interest.. \n\nyou could also offer to accompany her for a doctor's appointment to show that you really care for her well-being than to just be interested in sex.
211779
# 1 show her you are mature for your age, an older woman  might indeed be interested in a younger guy if he seems mature enough, #2 most women are impressed with romantic gestures, flowers etc... and genuine flattery/ compliments .. key word is genuine !show her that you  are on her intellectual level, and share some of her interests/ hobbies etc..try being friends with her first and feel out weather she would be interested in a date... even a casual one to start with..   and move in from there, good luck !
203463
I would suggest that you talk her into seeing a Dr.; it could be her hormones, post pregnancy, etc.  There are medications that could possibly help, or she may just need to talk with a professional.  Please just be there for her, be supportive, and be patient.  As an older woman, I speak from experience here.......many times, a younger woman won't have as high of a sex drive, as she will later in life.  Stress can also play into how a woman feels sexually.  We have lots to do, and there is never enough time to get it all done in, so she may simply be too tired to enjoy sex.  You might try giving her a massage, give her a nice, long foot rub, run her a bubble bath, etc., with the sole intention  of relaxing her.  Don't make sex the main focus though, or it could backfire.  Just let her know that you want to help her relax.  It might also be helpful to just sit and talk with her, let her open up if she can, and support her the best way that you can.  I hope it all works out for both of you........good luck!!
517636
Depends on how much you really like her.  If you do then I would maybe try holding off for awhile ( it's just sex - you can take care of it most of the time on your own if you had to )  If you aren't willing to give up sex for awhile then move on and find yourself another 40 year old that looks 25 .. or even better find yourself a real 25 year old .. they're in their Prime !
1156111
Try foreplay! Too many times you guys are in too much of a hurry...the ladies like it slow and easy...give her time....and try the new KY Jelly with the little "tingle"... its a warming massage.
402941
Being a mature woman myself, I have to tell you that it will take patience & work on your part,but do know that it will be well worth the trouble. Most women ,of any age, need to be reassured that they are attractive & desirable. Try to think of your Wife as a Girlfriend that you are trying to impress.You will find yourself being more romantic & thoughtful towards her. This will help her start to like herself again & her sexual desires will return. IF YOU ARE PATIENT ENOUGH.Or should I say...IF YOU LOVE HER ENOUGH!! You could also ask her if she has any  sexual fantasies,or if she would tell you what she would prefer that you do. Sometimes, when a woman isn't in the mood... It would please both of you if she were to please you ;-). This should be expected only on occasion. It sometimes works also to make an agreement ahead of time,to just cuddle,kiss & rub your hands all over each other,but DO NOT HAVE INTERCOURSE. Just knowing that it is just for stimulation & nothing more,will excite both of you. Then plan for the next time to do the same ...BUT... agree that if she wants to go farther you will,if not,enjoy the closeness you have achieved & go for the next time. As I said, PATIENCE. IT WILL BE WORTH IT FOR BOTH OF YOU, I PROMISE.   P.S. If you are as mature as she is... Your time is coming too.
945935
I agree 100% with everything you said about her, and I've even fantasized about her.     However, just to raise a little contention, her complexion is kind of messed up, ruining what otherwise would be a great package!   Then again, it wouldn't stop me from making "LOVE 40" times a week with her, if she would only "LET" me.    You neglected to mention the beautiful, little "SET" on her, not to mention the great little "RACK(et)"  she has.     But alas, I think I'd have to "COURT" her first before she'd even consider me getting into her sweet little "SERVICE BOX", or for that matter, gently "STROKE" my aching, swollen yellowish/greenish\n "SPAULDING BALLS".      Ain't that the kick?