holiday hell with new mother-in-law?
916281
My mother-in-law told my husband and I she was not doing Thanksgiving or Christmas this year because of money, because her diabetes is getting worse and because she is tired of her son eating and running.  She does not take into account that her son works at night and has to sleep during the day.  She fixes the meal according to her schedule only.  Since she told us she wasn't cooking, we made our own pans to invite my brother over, as he has no other family in the area except us.  My husband told his mother when she asked later if we ever made other plans.  He told her and she got ill.  She went off on him because her, her husband, and her mother  weren't invited over.  He tried to explain that the seating just isn't there and she said we'd have to make our own plans.  Now she is doing nothing but laying guilt trips on him and it's working...to a point.  She will never change.  Part of it is because she is selfish and needy, though perfectly capable.  She is also jealous because he doesn't spend as much time kissing her butt.   \n\nYou are not alone.  It will either blow over or it won't.  You and your husband need to come up with a plan for the holidays.  The one you have sounds like a good one.  Either alternate holidays each year at her house and your mother's, or do Thanksgiving at your mom's/Christmas at his mom's this year.  Next year swap out.
15543
My mother has a boyfriend that I can't stand (he is pulling the - rushing to a widow's aid crap and taking all of her money)... I'll tell you know, he's not getting a thing for Christmas.  And if you feel like you have to get him something, then get a gift more for your mum and just say it's to them both.  Tell them you would have gotten more, but your penny pinching this year.  \n\nGood luck!
922637
My suggestion is like many others, THANK HER every chance you get as this could make or break your relationship with her. If your weight doesn't change often I'd say start the dress at the beginning of the year. Of course small alterations can be made later, but then you can get the jist of things and make sure you both are on the right track and still have time for changes if need be.\nI really think you should get as many pictures as possible of what you want. I might even go to the extent of taking her dress shopping with you, trying on dresses, taking pictures in them and showing her what you like about each dress and why you think that type of dress would work best for you. Engrave in her head what you see in yours and hopefully that will keep her straying on the dress to a minimum. During the process of making it try it on often and correct anything you want before it can't be fixed. \n\nI'd say start it early in case you end up completely disliking it, then you'll have time to find something new. Though that my cause rifts between you and the mother-in-law.\n\nI totally know how you feel, my soon to be mother-in-law is trying to convince me their 45' x 30' back yard which is taking up mostly by a vegetable garden is the perfect location for our reception.
493208
OMG!!!!!!!!!! I hate her already. First, tell her no calls past ____ (fill in the time). Say it wakes the kids. Next, if she goes to the store for you, tell her you need the exact change back, because you are saving up for ____. If she wants her kids to play with the toys, let her know that she can have them come over and play, (just watch that they don't leave with them). You have to be upfront with her and let her know that you feel that she is taking advantage of you. Explain all of the reasons. Ask her if she would like to be treated that way. Let her know that your household will no longer support her alchol problem......if she sneeks three beers out the back door that is stealing. Alchol (misspelled, sorry) is a legal drug, if she feels the need to steal it.....then she has a problem with it. Also, tell her that you will not support her smoking habit. If she is bold enough to buy smokes with your change again, aks to see them, then when she hands them to you, put them in your pocket, and say "Thank you". I'm sure she will wonder what you are doing. Say that she bought smokes with YOUR money, there for they are your to keep. I bet she will never do that again. As far as her saying stuff to get your husband in trouble....Let's say she saw your husband look at another chick, if she comes to you saying that, say, "Was she ugly? Cause I heard ugly rubs off. Tell him not to look at the ugly ones." (LOL) And, about bumming toilet paper, why would your mom let someone live there if she can't afford the bare essential??? Sounds like you sis-in-law has a problem about getting something for nothing, no matter what it might be.
991103
ohhhhhhhhh. I hate know-it-all-inlaws. I have a sister in law like that and a mother in law that butts in and makes me feel stupid.\nThe only thing you can do is smile and endure. Pretend like you dont hear them or something.
938265
We are going to my mother-n-laws house. We are having a Turkey, dressing, and all the good stuff! I can not wait. That night we are going to see my mom sister and her husband and my nephew and niece. I get so hungry just thinking about it. Ohh! Don't forget to take some plastic containers to bring home all the left overs in. I forgot last year and this year I'm going to make sure I do not forget.\nHAPPY THANKSGIVING!!
855475
If she's kind hearted, be thankful. Many mother-in-laws do MUCH worse things. Get a tub, put a label on it, store the clothes. Think of it as shopping in advance. If you must, donate them. Don't assume what her reasons for this are, it may make complete sense to her. By the way, if she does this every year you must have clothes that fit them from two Christmases ago. Personally I think, be kind, let it go, life is short.
803859
My sister in law didn't show up after saying she would come.  My brother walked in the door without her.  She didn't come because I didn't invite her son from her first marriage his wife and their child (6  years old) and his wife's son from a first marriage (16 years old) and her daughter from that first marriage (18) and that girls boyfriend that she is shacked up with.  I was already cooking for 9 people and my husband is not with me this Thanksgiving because he is overseas.  (He is the big cook in the family)  I didn't feel I could cook for more than 9 people and still keep my sanity.  That was the drama this year.
353550
First of all, when did you guys officially become husband and wife - you made no mention of that in your question.  If your wife is a grown woman and is allowing her mother to act that way, what can you do.  It is sounding like she has given control to her mother.  Check yourself.  Make sure you have not done anything to offend your mother-in-law, if so then get it right.  Try talking to the mother-in-law.  Ask her why she is acting out so bad.  Coming to your job is definitely over the top and you should definitely ask her never to do that again.  Get in touch with your wife.  Explain to her that you cannot go on like this.  Her not coming back on her own is sounding like she doesn't want to be with you.  Ask her point blank what her intentions are.
303169
This is one of the hardest things to resolve in relationships, unfortunately. Keep in mind that your mother-in-law is also your wife's mother. I'm sure you already know that most people try to please, or at least placate, their mother. You're in a difficult position, but there are some things you can do:\n\n1. Communicate with your wife ... constantly. The two of you must not allow this to interfere with your relationship.\n\n2. Communicate with your mother-in-law. Do NOT retaliate in kind ... EVER! Do NOT lose your temper! She obviously angers you, but you have to be bigger than that. Ask her what it is that bothers her about you and offer to try and change at least some of those things ( IF you can and IF they are not part and parcel of who you are ).\n\n3. If you can afford to, you and your wife should find a competent marriage counselor to help you cope with this problem ... soon!\n\n4. When the baby arrives, I suspect your mother-in-law will want very much to see him/her as often as possible, particularly if this is her first grandchild. This gives you an excellent lever. Stress to your mother-in-law that this is both YOUR child and HER grandchild, and that both of you should want to do what is best for the child; and that her berating you will definitely NOT be good for the child. As an ABSOLUTE LAST RESORT, if you and your wife AGREE on this, BOTH of you have a talk with her mother and tell her, as gently as possible, that the TWO of you have decided to not expose your child to your mother-in-law's berating of you. Stress that, if she is willing to stop it, she can visit anytime the three of you agree. Let me stress again that this is a LAST RESORT, and should only be used if BOTH you and your wife truly AGREE!\n\nGood luck with this, and don't foget to seek that which is best for ALL parties involved.
917718
Sounds as if you are stressing already!  Calm down and take a deep breath!  Is there a number where you can call your mother?  Does she have a cell phone, or do you know where she is staying?  If you can't get in touch with her by phone, then she has no reason to be upset with you when she returns home.  Explain to her your reasoning for having the party at the home of your future in-laws.  After that, make sure you plan something special for the two of you such as looking for your dress, or making further wedding plans.  Above all, remember it is YOUR wedding, and especially if you are paying for it yourself, you need to be able to make the final decisions.  Congratulations and Good Luck!
445194
No one should hate it is corrosive to your own health. Mothers in law tend to respond to their children as though they never grew up. This feeds over into the spouse and creates resentment. If you can find a way to see past this it will eventually get better for you.
788518
IT IS MY DAUGHTERS YEAR TO SPEND WITH HER IN-LAWS.\nI WILL MISS THEM SO MUCH.BUT WE ARE GOING TO LAS VEGAS TO MY SONS HOUSE.\nARE YOU ALONE? I PRAY NOT.\nLET ME KNOW -IF YOU ARE NEAR VEGAS?\n I JUST PRAYED FOR YOU WHO ARE GOING TO BE ALONE.\nPLEASE GO HELP OUT AT A FOOD LINE.BE WITH PEOPLE WHO CARE.\nLOVE TO YOU ALL\n NANA
219672
Book her an appointment for a pregnancy massage. She will feel like a new woman trust me. This is one of those anniversaries where the hubby is to pamper the wife...sorry. But maybe you can go out to dinner where you had your first date like my hubby did. Very romantic. Just let her know how much you appreciate her and be very sympathetic of carrying a baby (it is very hard in the last months). just a couple of suggestions!
314817
Tell it to my mother-in-law
1035983
Sorry you are dealing with 2 psychos that don't know their place.  I'd ignore them as much as possible, but I would put my foot down if they tried to run your life. Your hubby is going to deal with them as he chooses b/c they are his family, but I think they need to see that you are not to be messed with.  When you say no, don't waver.  They can leave if they don't like it.  Let them try to manipulate all they want. It's up to you to not allow them to mess with your life.  Your husband will see them for who they are. And he may step up and tell them to back off in private so they save face. But either way, you can't control him or them....just put your foot down.  Good luck. My mother in law is a manipulative witch.  My husband just  wants to move far away from her and gets tired of her behavior, but feels he can't change his mom.  I think he's right.
525867
Hey there, just to let you know, all the mother-in-laws in the world are jealous of their daughter-in-laws. The least they'd think is that some little bit*ch has come along to steal the little boy she's loved for years that she's raised into her little man. That's the rule of the nature. Heard of Odipeous? I don't want to get too Freudian about this. But I hope you get it. I wouldn't be surprised that you mother-in-law has lust for her own son; in that case, she's a sick piece.\n  You should let you fiancé know that you're the one he's marrying and having children with, not that bit*ch of a so called mother of his. If he ever gives you any bull about not being nice to his mom, you need to let him know that if he won't put you first, plenty of men out there would. In that case, you don’t need some mama’s boy anyway; he can just live with his mommy for ever if that’s the case.\n  On the other hand, maybe that mother-in-law to be of yours is just getting used to the idea that she's losing and that you're winning.\n  I wouldn't be surprised if that mother of his, if she's white that is, is a racist; in that case, as long as your fiancé loves you and respect you, just cut her out of the picture. If she's the same race as you, she's just being old fashioned and nevertheless, a stupid bit*ch for you to disregard.\n  So, don't even think about sucking up to her. It's that unpleasant bit*ch that's suppose to show you some respect. Remember, respect is earned, not given. Just because she's the mom of you future husband doesn't mean you're to give in to her stupid game. As long as your man knows better, which I presume that he does, he'd know that he's going to come home to you for years and withdraw further and further away from his "mother" to the point that miserable old witch would regret being a bit*ch to you.\n  So, as long as your fiancé puts you first, you should disregard that miserable old woman and realize that you're winning and she's losing. \n  You have my sympathy. Keep your chin up. That miserable old thing isn't worth your time or emotions. You’re here to make yourself happy, not to make that miserable old fool happy. She doesn’t matter at all. Marry this guy, cut her out of the picture, and be happy!