How can I approach my boss about how she treats me?
924376
Talk to the boss, she may not realize that her tone and mannerisms can be construed to be less than acceptable, especially when counseling/ coaching employees. \n\nSome, not most, bosses have a "better than you" attitude, perhaps as a defensive mechanism to shield themselves from ambitious subordinates.\n\nA good boss is a partner with his/her subordinates, recognizing that their (the bosses) success depends on the subordinates, the reverse is just a true. \n\nFind a time when there is little or no stress, in a neutral place (possibly over lunch - that would be a first, an employee asking a supervisor to lunch), couch the request in such a way so as not to cause the boss to look for ulterior motives - "I have a personal problem that I would like to discuss with you. Is lunch convenient?"
827162
Do not tell your boss that she makes mistakes if you want to keep your job and get decent raises.\n\nYou would do better to suggest a different solution when you see a correctable mistake.\n\nTake care,\nTroy
815317
You have three choices, and only you can judge the feasibility of each of them, because only you know the people involved and their personalities.\n\n1) You can try to bring the topic up with your boss, very carefully and diplomatically.  Bosses are all different, and you'll have to judge her personality as to whether or not she's accepting of constructive criticism, especially of such a personal nature.  Of course, if the personality is not a good one then you of course risk a backlash that could hamper you at work by poisoning the relation.\n\n2) If you are acquainted with the higher-ups, you could approach one of them - again diplomatically - and try to put in a bit of "secret" reporting for which - if they are prudent and respectable - they should appreciate.  Once again, you risk a backlash against you (only you know the people and can judge the circumstances) either for breaking the "chain of command" or when your boss figures out (or is told) of your reporting.  On the other hand, a reasonable higher-up should appreciate your concern for the organization - you be the judge.\n\n3) You could just let the hammer fall on your organization by stopping your additional duties of performing your boss' job.  This may actually be the least realistic of the choices, because it may be hard for you to do this without looking negligent yourself.\n\nAt any rate, you should take careful note (keep a secret notepad) of **ALL** of the instances that this has happened, and what corrective action you have taken.  You should actually start this immediately, and just see how the situtation plays out for a while before doing anything.  But continue your records, because if you have to do **any** of the suggestions above, it will wholeheartedly bolster your case if you have documentation of the problem.  Of course, your boss won't be interested in this information (makes her look bad) but if you have to go higher in the organization, this will be imperitive.\n\nGood luck!  This is not an easy or comfortable situation!!!
1172595
Don't carry yourself like a "young pretty girl" be a young pretty self confident woman, if someone makes an inappropriate comment in front of everyone I would give him a look that would send daggers through his heart to let him know I'm not playing games with him and if he gets you alone and make a comment I would tell him I don't appreciate him treating me like anything other than a fellow employee. do your job and do it well and they cannot fire you because you don't smile and act like a hoochie.but always remember there's no amount of money to buy your dignity. tell your boss in a respectable manner that you like your job and you want to learn and grow and work for him but if he and the other men there are making you feel uncomfortable with the comments. you have to decide if you are going to ignore the comments or deal with them. i work in a hospital as a LPN and  a male RN talked down to me because he felt I was beneath him so I invited my husband who is 6 feet tall 240 pounds of muscle to have lunch with me and i never had any more trouble
174639
You can't really do much except let it roll off your back.  She's family and she'll get treated differently probably until she screws up.  As unfair as that is.  You can't say much because that'll make you the bad guy.  If it's really bothering you, you should look for another job.
787386
Nobody likes it and you can put a stop to it. Here is the deal, people will treat you exactly how you allow them to treat you. That is the top and bottom of it. Let these managers know what you will and Will not tolerate. If something bothers you that they have said or done, let them know in a calm as possible manner exactly how they have made you feel, right at the moment they do it. And, make sure you are looking them directly in the eye. Do not let anyone let you feel belittled. If you can take charge of what you will and will not tolerate, you will earn some well deserved respect. Also remember, everybody has a boss..let your hiring managers know that you know that.
1086734
A poplular term used when discussing dimwit bosses is "manage your boss."  If you see her beginning to point in a direction you know to be incorrect, try playing the part of Devil's Advocate and pointing out some of the pitfalls in her way of thinking.  Another tactic is to think out loud, walking through the consequences of her decision step by step.  As long as you do this in a way that initially sounds like you are agreeing with her, you'll be fine.\n\nThe saving grace in your case is that "numerous people in the company seek advice from [you] and not her."  This indicates that they also know that your boss is clueless.  However, do not EVER tell anyone else that you actually think your boss is clueless!  Always cover your butt when taking about your boss.  Perhaps she's not been there as long as you, or she has a lot on her plate, or she's just not involved in the issues as much as your are.  Whatever the case may be, let everyone else pump up your reputation.  If your boss begins getting in hot water from her superiors, stay out of it as much as possible and just make sure your supporting co-workers are close at hand to support you as a replacement should that happy opportunity present itself.\n\nOh, and when things just get too frustrating, buy a stress ball.
438424
Stop telling her about your personal life.\n\nThere isn't any other good reason as to why she would have enough information about you to make you uncomfortable by what she's revealing to others. If it's stuff you've shared in the past, you can't really take that back.  You may just have to live with it... but from here on out, MUM's the word.\n\nSometimes approaching people with a "what if the shoe was on the other foot" scenario helps them see how insensitive they are being.  Case in point, I had a supervisor that basically antagonized me constantly about a character issue that I was challenged to change at the office.  He would do it in front of others and, as a group, everyone would egg me on until I would snap.  I finally pulled him aside and told him politely that I needed his help, not his hinderances. I calmly asked him how it would feel if I ridiculed him about his eating habits in front of everybody (which were peculiar.... but necessary because of a serious health issue he had)?  And then made the point that I DIDN'T ridicule him because I respected the fight he had everyday to make the decisions he did.  After that, he never teased me again and our work relationship improved immensely.\n\nPerhaps there is a piece of information you know of that your supervisor would absolutely die about having made public.  Make it perfectly clear, not as a threat, but as a simple fact that you have respectfully NOT shared information about her because you feel that privacy is so sacred.... and that you expect her to afford the same respect to you.  I think that will help her out.  At least, I HOPE it will.\n\nGood luck.
349470
I have had the same problem in the past well it was kind of a mutual thing.  Things are different now  because we have history.  The best advice I can give you is to use the time you have at your job to do it well and exceed your boss's standards.  After some time, they will see that you are a great asset.
857357
Align with her instead of going against her.  Just let her know you like her idealism but explain how things work in the office and that part of being at work is learning not to make excuses but just do your best each day.  Make sure she knows the bonuses are extraordinary.  Telling her other companies would not "put up" with her attitude will only make her dig in her heels and fight you.  \n\nRemind her you're all in the same boat and she needs to help with the rowing by doing her part, which is to behave professionally, and it wouldn't hurt to suggest she notice other people's jobs and how many there are that are just miserable - she's got it cushy.
886689
I, too, am second in charge at my job.  The best way I've found to deal with timid bosses is to first talk to them about the problem.  You are there to help them, so help.  Approach your boss in a non-threatening way, one-on-one, and discuss your concerns.  You could say "I've noticed other employees not adhering to the company policies. I know we don't want to send the message that this is acceptable. What do you think we could do to discourage this?"  If your boss tries to skirt the issue or tries to blow you off, be firm.  You could also say "I know coaching and corrective action isn't one of the fun aspects of your job, and I'd be happy to help you with this (if you truly are).  Let's get a game plan together so we can be sure we are on the same page with this"  This way your boss should get the hint that something needs to be done, and you are willing to help, yet you don't have to go over her head or make her feel like she can't do her job correctly.  Good Luck!
871951
It should be, but nothing is ever fair...especially at work.  Just remain completely professional with her and don't let her distract you. You maybe could submit an anonymous complaint to HR also.  You didn't mention the size of your company, but I can't see any organization tolerating that type of behavior from their management!!
587700
You can tell your boss that you've done the best that you can as a mentor to guide this person, but you don't think that it is working out like expected.\n\nTry not to bad mouth the other person, it is always tacky.  Approaching the subject honestly is always a good answer.
774294
GET OUT NOW!!\n\nYou don't owe this person ANYTHING!!\n\nFor a boss to say it's a 'personality clash' is diabolical!!\n\nWhat kind of management style is that? S**t - that's what!!\n\nYou SO deserve better.\n\nGO RIGHT THIS MINUTE AND DON'T LOOK BACK!
889182
Just tell her the truth and if she begins to go off, just leave.  You don't have to worry about seeing her anymore if you quit so who cares what she thinks.  Or you can stand your ground and when she begins to go off just say, "Look!  This is exactly why I am quitting.  I deserve to be treated with respect and any manager that runs a respectable business would know that it is inappropriate to humiliate an employee in front of other coworkers.  As for you constantly accusing me of theft without any proof...some people would consider this harassment and grounds for your dismissal."  That should shut her up.  Good luck.  I've had one too many bosses the same way.
702575
You cant tell your boss to do anything,thats why they are the boss ,to tell you what to do.\nIf she tried that he would probably sack her.
415512
Unfortunately, most bosses are like this....but I have learnt to face up to my boss (your boss) or anyone who is "in a way putting you down", and it works....I will turn the tables on them and ask them simply "what it is that they don't agree with" or what would they do differently, I will never allow anyone to just "put me down" without at least getting some kind of response back from them, I want to know the reason why.......especially and you must be honest, if your intentions were well meaning....and after a few times doing this to your boss, your friend, your family member, someone in a store/restaurant, believe me, you will leave them with an IMPRESSION of who you are and that will be, that you will want to get to the core of the matter........Good-Luck