Was it rude for my friend not to invite my hubby to her wedding?
914314
Mindbogglingly rude.  I hope you sent your regrets:  "Congratulations on the beginning of your new life with your husband.  I regret that I cannot attend, as I will be spending time with mine."\n\nI disagree with the suggestion to send an RSVP saying you'll both come.  If he wasn't invited, he wasn't invited.  You also can't ask her "did you forget to invite him?"\n\nWhen it's all over and some time has gone by, see if you can talk this out with her and whether she has an issue with your spouse.
597894
You bet you do. You call with the polite assumption that they did not receive your invitation. After all, that's the only possible explanation for not honoring your request to RSVP, right? Your friends wouldn't be rude to you, would they? But seriously ... \n\nDo call. In fact, call even those who DID honor your RSVP to "confirm" your guest list. This is your golden opportunity to prevent problems on your big day. What kind of problems? Uninvited people showing up, such as guests bringing guests of their own or small children. (If you use vague terms like "and family" or "and guest" on your invitiations, you have only yourself to blame for this.)\n\nBy The Big Day, you should have only two lists: those who WILL be attending and those who WILL NOT. There is no "maybe" list for such an important event. Make this clear during your RSVP calls and do not be bullied into accomodating unexpected arrivals.
930962
Yes it should bother you.  Dont be so selfish, suck it up and go to the wedding.  I am sure you can show up to both\n\nYou dont have to stay all night at the wedding reception.  \n\nIf you miss their wedding dont expect them to show up for yours.
24943
You can't, if you are worried about hurting feelings because of who you don't invite, then  just go elope.  That's what I'd do, it's your day, not thiers.
873066
This would hurt my feelings too, and I completely understand.   yes, I think it was mean to bring that stuff up about the cruise.  They know you can not afford it, and obviously they know you were not invited, so it was rude to talk about it at the dinner table.  They could mention it to you sometime, but should not make a whole conversation revolve around that.  I think that's very rude when people do this.  it leaves you in a position where you either have to change the subject or be quiet!  \n      I think they are being insensitive to you.  I am sorry you are in that situation.  My family and I have not always gotten along.  My mother treated me like dirt after I got married (before I had kids).  Mainly because of disagreements that occurred over wedding plans!  To this day, i don't think she'll ever get over the things that did not go her way for that wedding.  However, enough time has passed (almost 10 years) and there are now 3 grandkids.  \n  I would distance myself because I don't think they will understand how you feel.  Are there other people you could spend the holidays with?  I would go see the family but spend only a short time there and be civil and nice, and get it over with.  But emotionally, I would not invest anything in them.  If someone says something hurtful, just keep your expression blank or walk away.  \n    You need to spend time with people who really care about you.
246275
I do not even know that you can invite someone to wedding receptrion ONLY. I never heard anyone doing this. And honestly, I find it rude.\n\nBut, if indeed this happen, it would also be rude on the part of the invited guest not to come.\n\nI think its a good gesture for the guest to bring a gift but one should never expect a guest to bring a gift.
623693
Yes. It would be tacky.It all comes in good time.\n\nHave the bridal shower before the wedding.\n\nTraditionally the baby shower should be when your friend is between 7-9 months along.\n\nThis way there are clearly separate occasions to celebrate.
1044665
That sounds very rude and inconsiderate to me.  If she asked your sister then she asked her so she should stay.  She can just let her friend know that the spot has been filled because she declined.  I dunno man, but to me she is already setting a bad example for married life if she can't even stay true to her word and cant even show respect for your family.  Looks like you got some thinking to do.  Good luck.
1082122
shes victimizing you... she shouldnt be putting you in the middle of her problems and that makes her a poor excuse for a friend... what im trying to say is, do you want to be the one who conspires and allows her to cheat on her husband or do god knows what? Think of the husbands feelings in this situation... While you dont want to be the cause of them splitting up you have to know that if you told you wouldnt and couldnt be held responsible, your friend decided to do this to her husband and she should have to face the reprocussions. Do you care about this girl enough to actually lie on her behalf over something that could split them apart? I think its the husbands right to know whats going on, in my case I think I would not tell the husband where she is but if you know his friends or family tip one of them off and possibly they will tell them... its complicated but you cant be incriminated because you didnt tell her husband where she was, you tipped someone off and they told, but i think its the right thing to do in letting the husband know in one form or another that his wife is lying to him and may be doing more... hes a human being and has feelings to, and she is digging her own grave... It was wrong of her to ask for you to lie about her because she is putting you in the middle of their problems and asking you to conceal the fact that she is destroying her marriage. If I was you I would tip someone off and then let them tell the husband,  either way theres nothing you can do to come out of the situation without getting hurt because if the husband figures out that you have been lying to him about something that is ruining his marriage then  hes going to hold you partially responsible... and think would you want to be in that sort of situation as well. would you want your husband to secretely be doing god knows what and you to be completely oblivious to it and how would you feel about it if he asked a friend to lie to you for him? you have to put yourself in the victims shoes, and honestly you both are the victim to her lying ways
849577
I think it was not very courteous of the maid of honor to go ahead with the invites before checking with you. \n\nYes, I think the mother of the bride will normally give a gift at the shower if you are there. If you are not able to attend then it does not matter when you give it to her.
925505
Move on! Find another girl and leave your friend and her husband alone.\nIf she still wants to be your friend, let her contact you.
334227
It isn't proper etiquette to have a second one, but maybe they weren't planning on a second child.  I think that not inviting all people in the office is really tacky as well as asking for donations, but it is her party.  I think I would just give a small gift certificate and then not show up.  Part of having good manners, though, sometimes may mean ignoring others' bad manners.
883513
Yes. After I broke up with my fiancee, I set her up with my friend. I even DJayed the wedding.  They just had a baby, two days after ours, and we all hang out with no funky vibes.  Just be mature.
26161
Have your friend make plans to go out and to tell the husband all about it; if he wants to come along, he will.  Otherwise, he can sit at home and wait for her while she goes on living her life.  I'm not saying for her to do anything wrong, just continue living and if he wants to be part of her life, he will come along with her.  That's how I did it!!!
255848
Sorry to read of your dillema.  Your fiance' seems to have a real "gem" of a friend.  Well, not really.  But remember, the person is YOUR FIANCES' FRIEND.  That doesn't automatically make him your friend as well.  Only unless you want him as such.  Obviously, you don't.  At least, not at this time.  Openly, calmly communicating your feelings with your husband (lifetime partner) to be is super important.  Should you continue to view your fiances' friend, as what I'm feeling to you, being as a thorn in your side, you might be asking for a whole lot of unecessary problems that only turn in to "knock down-drag outs."  I don't think you want that.  Married couples encounter enough disagreements leading to arguments enough as it is.  Try your best as a couple to shorten that "list".  By the way,...when you're married, the roof over your head belongs to BOTH of you.  Should you NOT ALLOW your husband's friend into the home, chances are good you'll be INVITING trouble between you and your husband.  If it's possible for you and your fiance' to work this out now, out of love, you will certainly be paving the way towards having a healthy relationship.  Perhaps consider disagreeing without being disagreeable.  Take it easy and try not to let your fiances' friend drive you nuts.  Remember,...NO ONE is flawless.  Take care.
1052799
Wait, you have a vacation during your friend's wedding??  \n\nThe logical thing to do is cancel the wedding if you think your friend is more important. If not, just go and enjoy yourself somewhere else while your best friend spends the best day of her life.
1179974
He is a married man, and has no business being friends with other women, if the friend ship doesnt include his wife, she has every right to be upset about it, as she shouldnt have to share her husband with anyone else under any circumstance.  He sounds like a disrespectful jerk to put her through this kind of thing as its not normal in a marriage.... So listen to your "other" friends and back off, you are over steppin your bounds!