HOW TO CONTROL FEELING FOR EX who cheated widout valid reason??
920276
You still have feelings for him, so better get him another chance and see and review your relationship on the basis of his attitude.
129531
At first forgive him, because he is a fool and really poor minded. But then try to move on, you deserve someone who cares and loves you in return.\n\ngood luck :-) I know how you're feeling
176918
Dear girl,\nI am suspecting that you are quite young if you're still not backing up since your Ex told you to. I would recommend, please give it a time. I know how you feel inside. I've been there, and it felt horrible at the time. But, trust me! After a while, maybe 3 weeks, maybe 3 months, but you'll feel much better. You will get over him! And you'll wonder why you were suffering as you are right now! The possible reason for your Ex acting this way is maybe that he have found his true love. And now he doesn't want to ruin it. Probably, his new girlfriend doesn't want you guys hanging out. So, please have some dignity and let him go. Don't be surprised though, if you get a call in few years from your Ex. So, I hope that you understand what I'm trying to say. Good luck!
688857
Being honest about your feelings you should keep it straight forward and to the point knowing that you have done this will make you feel alot less guilty about hurting his feelings
500699
Yeah...it sounds familiar ...I have an ex who tried the same...basically you have to set boundaries as it's not appropriate for him to visit you given his feelings and the fact that you're committed to another man. Tell him to use the phone or mail to communicate but don't expect him to go away -it's been 18 years since my ex has been doing this but as he's basically harmless I haven't really cared. The important thing is -is your ex harmless? Or is he someone who may act on his obsession? Finally I want to say -be sure you're not sending mixed signals...I've seen too many women not be clear about their wishes only to whine or press charges later when it's their fault for not being direct in the first place! Be honest with him and tell him to scram! There's my advice...I hope you take it! Edit~ I got your mail....If you hate him as you say AND HE HAS 'HURT YOU SO BAD' then why are you putting up with him then? Get a restraining order! Call the police and file a complaint and ask them to tell him to stay away! I thought maybe you still liked him on some level but since that's not the case you need to be pro active! Don't sit here on yahoo talking about it-do something about it -and I mean right now-today! Make sure you don't regret not doing anything!!!!!!!!! Everyday you let this go on-you encourage him more, and give him hope and he will become more relentless! You have been warned!
777110
Your friend feels hurt and betrayed by your actions when you dumped him for the loser boyfriend.  It sounds as if he cares more for you than the other guy ever did.  Keep this in mind when dealing with the friend you could trust.  He's not the same guy who treated you so badly and he probably will not react in the same way.  Give him a chance.  \n\nIf you want to rebuild the friendship, you need to give it time and take small steps. Trust is the fastest thing to lose and the slowest to regain. Back off for now.  Leave him alone for a week or so, then if you still want to speak with him, text or email him that you've had some time to think and you're wondering how he's doing.  (Absolutely DO NOT do this if you are not totally sincere.  You've hurt him once already and he doesn't deserve to be hurt again.) If he answers, then you have a dialog.  Ask if you can speak to him on the phone.  Tell him you know that you did was wrong and ask for his forgiveness.  Most importantly, let him know how much you miss him.  Tell him that you'd like to talk to him again later.  If he agrees, then ask if he'd meet you somewhere for a coke or something.  After a few times of talking to you and seeing you, he will start to see a change.  That is what he's looking for.  When you feel that the both of you are ready, then find a way to be alone with him.  Tell him how you feel.  Most importantly don't rush him or yourself.  Friendship is built on trust and trust takes time.  Best of luck.  Hope this helps.
372552
go and talk to him...tell him you missed him..and ask for forgivness if it is possible.\n\nsomethimes we should try to be humble and admit our mistakes..or even if we were right, we should do it for getting back our ex...\n\nshow love and kindness..;
388796
Work on what got it to that point. I had my wife cheat on me. And I left. It took all I had to do it. We have had alot of problems since then, basically I don't feel like she shows me respect or respects me. Point is it depends on how your husband feels about you. I would take my ex back in a heartbeat if I thought she really wanted to work it out and really felt bad about it. In this situation you'll have to eat alot of crow but if he loves you he'll work with you. Good luck I hope it works out.
232839
You are honest enough to realise that you have done something wrong to someone, which itself shows u have taken responsibility of it. You cannot immediately confront him as iam sure he too is just recovering from whatever it is you have done to him. You have to wait, be patient. Once when the time is right, when things are a bit silent, you have to talk to him and get it over with. Meet him alone in person and in the first instance, start apologising  and then u owe him an explanation on why u had to do it. And last, tell him how awful you feel about what u did. And wait for him to react, listen to him, positive or negative...it doesnt matter..as much as you have admitted your mistake, give him a chance to let whats in his mind to come out. You have to take it from there, i guess. If that person has forgiven you, then great..but if he hasnt, and goes on abusing or accusing u and making u feel that you have sent him to hell, well...listen to it and simply walk away..you cannot force him to forgive you...\n\nYou did your  part and i'll bet u will feel a lot relieved. It wont irritate you in ur mind that you didnt clear it up, so well done, you have done ur part! pat urself for being brave!!
273355
If you're worried about how the ex-boyfriend will feel the key word to remember is EX. If he is really your friend he would want you to be happy.
358384
Give him the benefit of the doubt. Don't go accusing him yet. If he does happen to cheat on you while in New Mexico, then he isn't worth your time. You can only forgive someone so much. When he gets back, talk to him about it. Tell him that you don't feel safe when he's around his ex. If he is the right guy he will understand.
3408
The easiest process that I would suggest is to convert one of your exes that you can stomach. Use that as a starting point to get into the swing of it until you are more comfortable with the concept. Just make sure they aren't confusing the situation with the possibility of getting back together. that can be messy.
524436
Listen to your heart and start looking for signs of cheating. I started to have the exact feeling about my ex from 9 years ago. The feeling was very strong and pretty positive. I confronted him, but he just laughed about it. Later he sort of let the cat out of the bag by telling me he was going to hang out with other women and that I should hang out with other men. \nHe wouldn't let me answer the phone, he would get mail from people in the area and hide it, I would come home and find jackets at the house that were not mine, if we went anywhere he would have me drive by the neighborhood floozy's house to see if she was home and things like that. Another thing is, he would sneak out in the middle of the night and think that I didn't know anything about it and one night I was home and this strange car pulled up, I opened the house door and they left in a hurry. \n\nIf he stays out late at night, if is on the internet a lot, if he doesn't let you answer the phone, if he prefers to go out by himself on a frequent basis. Those are some of the red flags. Listen to your heart and be on a look out!
659994
You can not be responsible for that which you can not control, which proceeds all others.  Do not try to feel bad for feeling a certain way.  Your feelings are only honest, and honesty can never be looked down at.  Looking down on honesty is being dishonest.  To be ashamed of a true feeling is what would be 'wrong'.  Also, this friend of yours does not own this person or you.  If you wish to clear your conscience, talk to your friend and tell her the truth.  Tell her that you appreciate all of the same things about this guy.  \n\nNow I said having a crush is nothing to be ashamed of, but acting on that is a different matter.  You should do what you feel is right.  Your true feelings are always correct.  Now honesty should always be expressed, but caution should also be used.  Lack of caution is not true honesty.  It is just plain inconsiderate.  Take a time-out and try to gain some perspective.  Take a long walk, read a book, or do anything you can to get your mind off the subject.  Only when you clear your mind can you think clearly.  No one can tell you what the correct thing to do is but yourself.  You should think about what every decision would mean, and what different things you can do to make your decision best for all parties.  If you believe your friend will do something seriously bad if you talk to this guy, keep that in mind.  Make your decision according to anything.  I will say this.  Do not concede to fear and allow someone to intimidate you into doing their will.  If you like this guy, and he likes you, it is only right that you two should explore what you have together, but do not leave your friend in the loop.  Definitely do not let her intimidate you either.  \n\nSummed up, you should do some soul searching and the answer will be clear to you yourself.  I, nor any of us on yahoo, can tell you what is right for you.  Only can do that.  All I can do is give you suggestions on how to come to the decision yourself.  Like I said, take some time off of both people, at least two days.  Read a book.  Put it out of your mind, and I will give you a good method on when you know when you're ready to make your decision.  It seems that this weighs heavy on your mind.  Keep yourself busy with books, or household projects, or art, or anything you wish, and the second you realize that you are so wrapped up in what you are doing that you've COMPLETELY forgotten your ordeal, if only for an hour or two, then you are clear.  This is what clear is.  Be clear, and make clear decisions.  Good luck sweetheart.
428126
First thing you need to find out is why he tricked you. Sounds like somewhere in the relationship there was a violation of trust. Discuss with him the reasons he did it not the action itself.  \n\nScrew Doctor Phil.... I need my own show =)\n\nSeriously find out the cause not the action\nWAIT HE WAS YOUR EX? O srew that. Move on then
938797
Convince yourself that you deserve better and I'm sure you do.  Look at it as his loss, not yours and move on.  You can love someone dearly and still be smart enough to know that you can't actually be with them because it's simply not good for you.  I have an ex from 15 years ago that I'll always adore, but we can't be in the same room without trying to claw each other's eyeballs out.  We've broke up 12 years ago and we have remained friends..on the phone. lol
251743
That is too close to cheating.  Think about how your wife will feel.  How would you feel is out of the clear blue, her ex called her and wanted to know how she is doing.  Would that be okay with you?  What if he  had lingering feelings for her?  Use common sense.