Back with ex-boyfriend who's great...why do I feel undesirable?
919733
IT REALLY SOUND LIKE YOU HAVE ISSUES THAT YOU NEED\nTO ADDRESS ABOUT YOUR SELFESTEEM. IF YOU NEED\nANY ONE TO MAKE YOU FEEL ALIVE AND WORTH IT\nTHAT  MAY BE THE PROBLEM. AND YOU NEED TO TALK\nTO SOMEONE ABOUT THAT, YOU DONT NEED ANY ONE]\nTOMAKE YOU YOU FEEL ANYTHING. YOU HAVE TO LOVE\nYOUR SELF BEFORE YOU CAN LOVE ANY ONE ELSE.\nAND AS FOR YOUR BOYFRIEND. HE MAY  TREAT YOU\nLIKE A QUEEN. BUT UNTIL YOU FEEL THAT YOU ARE\nA QUEEN IT WONT MATTER. BUT TIME TO TALK TO]\nHIM AS WELL IF YOU ARE NOT HAPPY THEN TIME\nTO BE HONEST WTH HIM AS WELL AS YOUR SELF.\nGOOD LUCK.
794658
I was with my last boyfriend for 3 and a half years when I met my current boyfriend. I knew very quickly that I wanted to be with my current boyfriend, so I had to break my ex's heart to make myself happy. (I've been with my boyfriend now for more than a year) It hurt my ex like hell and I felt terrible doing it, but I knew that I wanted to be with someone else. So I had to do it for myself even though I hurt someone I cared about in the process. Just be careful and tactful in the way you say things. Make sure you don't sound like it's all his fault.
515954
Tell him how it makes you feel.  I would be insanely jealous and po'ed.  Don't accuse him of anything because it will get him on the defensive and tell you you're being ridiculous.  Say it along the lines of..."Whenever I see you get those messages from your ex's or talk to me about them, it really makes me feel..."  Talk only about how if affects you.\n\nIf he has any concern for you, he would stop.  If he doesn't, then if you really like him, ignore it afterwords even if it kills you inside.  It's the only way.\n\nOn the other hand, if you think this guy's being an bunghole, drop him like the selfish, arrogant retard he is.
987048
The problem probably is that your not being direct enough.  You say your doing everything but you haven't done what needs to be done if you want to be with him.  You need to actually talk to him and tell him that it is him you miss and that you want to be a part of his life.  Right now he probably feels like you ended things and that he isn't willing to risk getting dumped again without being sure that this is what you want and that your willing to actually be with him through the bad times and not end things so easily.
392280
hmm, tough one.\n\nI don't know the situation that you and him had that made you to break up.  But I'm guessing that he might have broke up with you.  Does not really matter much either way cause the end result is the same.... you two are not together.\n\nI think though that you did not have closure over the breakup and that you have feelings for him.\n\nWell, we see that he has moved on and that he has someone else now.  You feeling jealous seems to me that you still want to be with him.\n\nThink hard to yourself, why you two broke up?  Cause if you caught him cheating or the love wasn't really there after sometime....  Then getting back together MIGHT not work.  I'm guessing that you did not have a messy breakup since you guys are still friends.\n\nYou might be trying to hold on to memories of the good old times and think that maybe if you got back together you will have that again.  Trust me, it will never be exactly the same.  And actually its a proven fact that the human mind remembers things with an amplified emotion... that is you remember this great place when you grew up but visiting back later, you notice its not the same.  Cause your expectations are going to be set really really high.  And when it does not happen the way you remember you'll be really devistated.\n\nIf I were you....  I would tell him about your feelings if you trully want to get back together with him.  Cause this is a choice you both have to agree on, not just you.  But if you don't want, then I would say cut all ties from him.\n\nGood luck!
392468
It's the thrill of a new relationship.  Give it some time and you two should be back together soon enough :)
1175349
OK I  just went through a situation where my boyfriend left me because his ex ccame back into his life..I feel so miserable without him and i feel sick to my stomach...You need to be careful about what youdo..It could really hurt your boyfriends feelings..There must of been a reason why you broke up with your ex..so why are you wanting to go back out with him? AND if your not sure you dont love your boyfriend then dont lead him on..you just reallly need to think
168306
Been there, done that. It's funny how our minds and emotions can ruin a good thing. One thing that I hightly recomend is getting your self esteem up. It's tough, but once you are sure and proud of who you are, you don't loose that. As for getting your ex back. It may or may not happen. Give him his space now, thats is what he wants. If for some reason he also has a change of heart, you 2 can work things out then. But for now, respect his decision. Take care babe, im rooting for ya :)
763037
No, do not feel sorry for your ex...to tell you the truth, it might bring him to reality. A person shouldn't be judged primarily on how one looks, but like you said personality. Just think when you guys are 60...old and grey what will last? Your looks or personality? You did what you felt was right and what makes you happy. Besides, if he treated you like this at the beginning of the relationship and can't respect you, then later on it just gets worse. In due time, he'll find someone that is better equipped for him. I think you did the right thing. Why be with a person that makes you uncomfortable, when you can enjoy another person's company that treats you like a queen? Would you take a $1.00 over $10.00?  Looks to me that you picked the $10.00 and are alot happier. Besides, don't feel sorry for him...you did the right thing. In the long run you, the $10.00 will go a long way then the buck in your pocket :-)
1052872
You may have these feeling, because you are jealous . You broke up with him for a reason, and now he has another man. Hold your head up , and just go out with friends, and have FUN. do things to forget him. Don't "look" for another guy, rather, let them find you. that always seems to help me when i can't get over a guy.
587751
It was only last night. You are doubting whether or not you were really in love with him, so don't be so sure about the way you're feeling one night after being broken up with him. I think after a little time you will know if you did the right thing or not. \nThe best way to tell is when you start looking for other people to date or they start hitting on you. If it feels okay and fun and normal, then you probably have moved on right. But if you can't imagine talking to them, looking at them, kissing them the same way you did your boyfriend, and the thought of dating other men makes you sad, then maybe you loved him after all. \nBut you're going to feel confused for a while.
872727
Bummer!  That is a shitty one!  \n\nOK so, it does actually happen.  Kinda like a slip of the tongue.  I did the same thing to my b/f once.  It really was NOT intentional!  Just kinda happened.  It feels terrible to be on the receiving end I know, but as long as you have made your feelings known to him, and he doesn't do it again - no harm, no foul.  However, if he does it again  -  find a new boyfriend because this means he has NOT got over his X, and it was NOT a slip of the tongue.  Give him the benefit of the doubt THIS time!\n\nMaybe you should also think about mentioning to your b/f that you are uncomfortable with the fact that he still sees his X (if he does) and that this is the reason you may have over-reacted (I am not saying you did - it's just a bit of reverse psychology that will make him feel better about himself)  to his blunder.  As long as you are open and honest about how you feel, he can't turn around at a later date and say he wasn't aware of your feelings.
439997
Been there done that--both options.  Choose what you have.  What you had before didn't last for a reason.  It may feel thrilling but that sure as hell doesn't last.  You call him an ex-mess for a reason and the guy you are with deserves more respect than that.
736374
I had this same exact problem for so long and I am just now coming out of it. It is going to be very wonderful when you come out of this experience knowing so much and able to help other people with the same exact problem. First of all, I want you to think about all the time you've wasted just sitting and daydreaming about him. That's time you could have used to make your life better by doing things you enjoy and you could have made other peoples' lives better. Next I want you to ask yourself, "What has he ever done for you?" It's really hurtful to realize that you've wasted your time wanting somebody that you just can't have but trust me, you will have so much free time once you just stop thinking about him. You have to be willing to stop talking about him w/ anyone, pretty much pretending he doesn't exist anymore. Avoid listening to songs that remind you of him. With the guy that I liked, he was actually undesirable and it took me so long to realize that he just wasn't a good match for me at all. So hang in there and remember there is absolutely nothing wrong with being singe cuz you're waiting for the right guy! You deserve a guy that's young enough and that you can actually go out w/! good luck! e-mail me if ya need to!
191417
We can't tell you if it's true or not without more details. Why do you feel this way? If you have a gut feeling that something is going on,then ask him. You should be able to tell by his reaction if he is being honest with you. If you don't feel comfortable with that,then,let it be,and hope for the best,I guess. You have to be careful how to approach this subject though if you ask him. Men don't take kindly to being accused of something they didn't do,and it could also put a wedge between the two of you. Called TRUST!! Be inconspicuous and just ask some innocent questions,that should get you somewhere for a starting ground,and a feel for his relationship with his ex. Good luck!
219384
First off, you didn't cheat.  You were broken up and living your life and moving forward.  Personally I think it was a bad choice for you to get back with your old boyfriend.  He guilted you into it, and the truth is that nothing has changed.  You deserve to be happy and I don't think you will ever be happy with him.  End this relationship and realize that if he wants to lay in your yard and cry that is his choice and your not responsible for him.  You should never feel bad for doing what is best for you.
239340
LOL neparis2001.. that wasn't nice.. true.. but not nice.\n\nI would say that you have started to 'draw a line in the sand' of what you will and will not do for a person, and you are finding your balance.\n\nThat you are able to not run and find out why he hasn't actually met up with you shows that you are maturing with what you find acceptable in how you want to be treated.\n\nIf you have feelings for him, at least you're honest, but how do you feel now that he blew you off?  I think you're worthy of someone that can return your values in a relationship.. if he can't, look for a new place for your feelings so they don't end up hurt.\n\nKeep your chin up and always respect yourself first!!..so you don't have to worry about regaining respect.