Im married to a wonderful guy. But jelousy has taken over BAD! I feel like running away from it and I cant.?
929839
Here's a direct quote from the Dr. Phil website.  Also below is a link from same for controlling jealousy.  "Pornography isn't real, it's a fantasy. It's makeup, beauty lenses, hair extensions, camera angles, lighting and silicone! It's also somebody's daughter who has taken a really, really wrong turn. She's demeaning herself, debasing herself, humiliating herself and she's being exploited by people who are funded by you. It is a sick, demented, twisted world. It's not healthy, it's not natural and it's not normal."  This is why you feel this way.
1020296
Is there a legitimate reason for you to feel this way?  Has anything happened in your relationship recently to cause these feelings, ie: abuse?  1 of 2 things can be going on here, either A. your subconscious/gut/intuition is telling you that you're about to make a MAJOR mistake in marrying this guy or B. you're major league stressed out over the wedding.  B becomes more probable the bigger your wedding is.  With 3 more weeks to go, the stress will continue to accumulate.  So I'd be more inclined to say this is nerves.  Try to keep your stress level lower, and remember to do something for yourself that isn't wedding related every day.\n\nTalk to someone you trust about your feelings, hopefully that would be your financee.  But if it's not, then really think hard about marrying him.  It's much better and easier all around to end an engagement than a marriage.  Your husband should be your best friend, there should be nothing you cannot share with him.
861288
well a hard question, but if you have tried everything and talked to your husband about how you feel and he wont change then its time to end it.\nbe careful the fact that he digrades you and belittles you publicly is often the early signs of an abusive man. he is on a power trip and whats you to feel bad about yourself and make you think everything that happens to go wrong is your fault. once he gets you comfortablw with the he may get physically abusive to you. or else he may threaten to or actually harm your children. \nbe careful and make a plan for your exit. once you make up your mind you need to follow through and leave and don't ever look back\nif you want to talk to someone you can email me. ive been there and im out now.
1082859
bro all the time, except I'm not spontaneous and never do. Chances are if you feel this way and if you are anything like me, you want to do this to run away from problems, if that's how you feel, the running away part is probablly not the best idea, the problems will tend to follow you where you go, your best bet is to stick it out and resolve the crap in your life, it may hurt and take time but you'll be happier for it. good luck and God bless
246861
your husband sounds like a loser\ni think you need to leave him for someone who will come home to you
525692
i undesrastand what you are feeling... i have the same problem... i won't say that you can get rid of it that easily, but it would help it if you talk about it with your husband.. i have my GF living abroad and can't see her or talk to her much, and i can't tell you feelings i had... but just once i decided to tell her and just that helped me feel good and safe... \ni know you care so much about your husband and that's great... so try to talk with him... he'll help you out deal with that. and just the fact of telling him will help you.
590628
Girl Friend this is a classic case of I loved you until we moved in together. You have to know that even though this feels shitty now, you will be so grateful in the end. It is better that you find out now, before you both decided to get married, and 2 mo later decided that you want a divorce. Girl you have to realize that he is not the one for you. I say wish him well and push on. There are so many men out there that will appreciate you for who you are, don't sell yourself short. Let him go back to home, he's probably a mommas boys anyway. Figure out how much money you contributed to the joint bank account, then take the money and run. I know that you feel time has been wasted on this person, but better the time be wasted and you learn, so when the next person that comes along, you will see the signs before hand. Think of it as life just starting for you. Just to let you know he probably never loved you , he just didn't know how to tell you, another sign of a bad relationship in the making, when you can't communicate you are looking for trouble. Good luck in your life's journey, God has someone for you. You just have to wait and see
522484
i truly understand how you feel, because at one point in my life ive been so terribly inlove with a guy and we are together for more than two years. like you i promised to stick with him, and we almost got to the part of commiting a secret marriage, and like you, he take me forgranted at times but often tells me that he loves me dearly. and just like you again, my parents want me to leave him. and then when i refused, they are the one who do it for me. and now i realized, he doesnt deserve me. i thought at first ill never get ovwer him and not think of any other man other than him, but you know? i did, and now i realized, when the relationship is already hurting you and breaking your morale and self-estemm and youre crying more than being happy, then friend its time to go. and i when it comes to money, he will just be reliant to you. if right now, he already rely to you to help him on those things, fact is after you two get married, youre the one to get married and he will just rely to you. there are plenty other men in the world. believe me, ive been ther, done that, i managed to move on. and tell your family to help you. you need them badly, they love you, they know he is notthe right one.
174229
you sound just like me. i'm trying to work things out but i know the end result will be me leaving. i just want to be able to say that i gave it my all and totally mean it. sometimes we just outgrow them. have you ever tried to start some sort of hobbie with each other or do a date night? maybe that will get something going for you. i tried that. my husband didnt even care to go through with any of it. he just agreed to it and never did it. i'm writing a book on my horrible marriage. as soon as i get enough crap for my book i'm out. its not worth it to stay.
306746
First figure out what feelings these are you have and how strong.Second imagine yourself without the person who at one time (and probably still do)you loved with all your heart,(loved enough to make her your wife). If imagining her gone and with another man doesn't bother you, then I'd say "its over",but if it does BOTHER you-Then stay away from whatevers tempting you,and focus on yourself and your wife.
926906
Oh dear, maybe you are putting too much emphasis on your marriage. It seems that the new car smell has worn off. It sounds like you still love your husband, but you feel as though something is missing. It is, your life. Whatare you doing with yourself to decompress? Your mate and your child shouldn't be the only focus in life. Get a hobby. I mean that in the most genuine and caring way. Find a healthy form of exercising those mental muscles that will also boost your self esteem. And for goodness sake, do not get involved with another man, any kind of way. You have to realize that you are going thru a new chapter in your life, it is growing pains that you are having, just like when you were an adolescent. Keep the activity simple but very rewarding.Your blues will pass, but keep your personal activity.
638099
Some jitters and questioning are normal and I do not think you are over the top on that. There are things you may want to change about yourself by not nagging as much. All men are moody and only you know if you will be happier with him. The mother in law issue could bring real unhappiness and she is way over the top. I have to ask myself why he would tolerate her screaming at you. You are marrying a family as well as your husband.
619680
You don't have two personalities what you do have is a part of you that desires intimacy and affection. I think you are torn between your values and your emotional and physical needs. I have to commend you for your commitment to your marriage but how do you do it if he is so far away?  As much as you have all the best intentions I can't imagine having my husband in another country it would make me feel like i wasn't married. Does your husband have plans on coming home soon? If he doesn't and you do find the courage to separate from your husband it does not mean you didn't try to make it work or did something wrong. Unless the way you feel right now changes. If the need for an intimate relationship still haunts you, you have to seriously consider moving on so you can be whole again.
859464
okay well this guy is head over heels for you. i think he is trying so hard because he thinks you feel this way about him deep down and your afraid to get out your feelings. what you can do is be sensitive with him. tell him that your more than flattered and surprised that he proposed to you, but we can only stay simple friends right now. im not ready top get married right now and believe it or not i have dreams and goals i want to make come true. and i know you do too. and dont tell me that the only dream you have is to be my husband. i know you have things to accomplish in life. so thats why. we can still be really good friends b ut thats all we are going to be. if you liked me this much you would accept it and move on."if after that he still doesnt understand then maybe you shouldnt talk to him anymore. try avoiding him if he makes you feel uncomfortable. if he does understand then thats one less thing to worry about in life.
813755
Just remember that you always have control over your own situation.  If you are in a bad marriage don't be afraid to leave.  Get out of that comfort zone and don't let fear of the unknown stop you.
684150
I say that you should go.  Things arent going to change with your husband, he can promise all that he wants to but they never do.  If you have found someone who cares about you and treats you good, then you deserve that happiness!!!
583981
ive been there as well. its a hard thing. but at your age....wasted time is the worst thing to be doing. but only you can decide if its a waste. at this point in your lives.... you both should be able to get past what anyone else thinks. they dont matter. life is too short to live your life by somebody elses guidelines. ive been married twice.and divorced twice...DOH!..i lived with both of them first... because, well, no reason to get married if we end up hating each others daily habits. a happy marriage is knowing all the good...and being able to say that his/her bad points arent that bad.." i can live with this freak" lol. because thats what we all are. freaks. and its really can i live with this level of freak and vise versa. so i understand the marriage uneasiness. im 37, and i live with a great girl and her two boys... im reluctant to get married again... but life is a risk. the greatest things in life dont come with out it. ... the question is... are you both ready to risk equal amounts to be with each other? i do tend to think that him moving to his place is going backwards. and i understand you as well. about dating others... i just wouldnt do that right away... let what you have fall apart.... before you drive a wedge quickly between what you might have...wasted time is the worst... but losing love... thats a close second. good luck!