Getting back together after seperation?
922314
Trust me l've been there and still doing it. You really have to love the person with all your heart or it will never work. My husband cheated on me and it  is still very hard sometimes but you have to try and look at the positives in your relationship and decide whether it is all worth the effort. If you honestly know that you want to be with that person more than anything else in the entire world and you believe for whatever reason that they just made a mistake and it will never happen again, then you have to try and put the past behind you. If you can't do that, then in my eyes you are just wasting your time. You must learn to forgive and try to forget or it will eat you up. Believe me l know it is not always easy but sometimes you just know it is the right thing to do. Ofcourse there is a certain amount of anger and jealousy but you must get past that. Hope this helped  to answer your question.
24542
I'm going through a similar situation. I left. Don't do that. You both need to decide if it's worth trying to get the closeness back. Be open about the things that you enjoy doing together and things you don't. Try and figure out how you two grew apart. And do it together. No matter how hard it is. If it's worth it, take the time to make it work. It wont happen on it's own.
323194
YES IT HAPPENED TO ME WE WERE APART FOR 10 YEARS AND HAVE BEEN BACK TOGETHER FOR THE PAST 5 YEARS AND IT IS THE BEST.
820355
Well, you should start talking to someone else too. Maybe that will help you get over him and what he is doing. The fact that you seperated because you "needed time to grow" should have told you that he was going to date other people. What did you think was going to happen? You were going to seperate and then just wait around for eachother? If that`s what you thought, you shouldn`t have seperated at all. You need to get out there and find a new man. Just let this guy go and do whatever he wants to do. If it was "meant to be" you will end up back together. In the meantime, you should go out and have your own fun and not sit around worrying and wondering what he is doing. Do your own thing and let HIM wonder about YOU.
38809
Please elaborate on the question.  You can't "win" someone back as if they were a prize.  If you two can talk out your differences and find some common ground to build on fine, go for it, and don't be afraid to seek help from a professional.  If you can't, it's over and you'll have to move on.\n\nOk, part 2 since now I have more info.  There are couples that split because their lives end up going in different directions and then later on they get back together.  There are also couples that stay married but live in seperate houses within a few hundred miles of each other and see each other on weekends.  I don't know why, but that's the way I've seen some couples do it.  If there really is a bond between you and your wife such as friendship and romance, I'd ask her out on a date to talk over coffee and see if you two can't find some common ground to stand on.  Just a suggestion.
168306
Been there, done that. It's funny how our minds and emotions can ruin a good thing. One thing that I hightly recomend is getting your self esteem up. It's tough, but once you are sure and proud of who you are, you don't loose that. As for getting your ex back. It may or may not happen. Give him his space now, thats is what he wants. If for some reason he also has a change of heart, you 2 can work things out then. But for now, respect his decision. Take care babe, im rooting for ya :)
641183
You know i have been through this situation myself.  I'm not proud.  We just kind of drifted apart after the same amount of time as you, but were only separated for about 2 months.  I really liked the feeling of freedom and meeting other people.  I still think of a certain someone now and then, especially when my husband and i get into arguments about petty stuff.  I think "why did i even come back"?  Then i realize that he has put up with all my crap and it would be so hard to start all over and put effort into a new relationship.  I also think about my kids and in today's society kids need the guidance of both parents.  Anyway, i really do love my husband, it's just sometimes its fun to think of what could have been.  \nI'm not saying all marriages are to stay together for the sake of the children, it's just if you really love each other, you need to try and get passed the other man.\n\nTry to do things with your husband, take time for yourselves.  Go to the movies out to eat, or even spend time at the park with the kids(if it applies).  And just when you feel an argument coming on think and sometimes prayer comes in handy(if you are religious). \n\nGood luck. i wish you the best.
852199
If you love each other, then, um DUH! Yes, take him back. Maybe he really did need to "get himself together" and now he feels ready to have a relationship. There's nothing wrong with that if it's true. I think it's great if he wanted to work on himself so things don't get messed up anymore between the two of you. He worked, he's ready - go for it.\n\nWould you cut off your nose just to spite your face? (Translation: Would you give up love just to make your ex pay?)
62142
It can be a good idea if you have identified what caused the breakup in the first place and if you are BOTH willing to work on it. If you can be honest about what happened and make a real effort to resolve it, your second try might be successful. But if you just get back together again without addressing the underlying issues, it's probably doomed to a second failure.\n\nDr. Barb Nefer, http://www.bnlifeskills.com
197625
Yep it is hard to get back out there after being with the same person for a long time.I Have been divorced for over 3 years separated for over 6.If you just got a divorce you probably should not jump right into a relationship.But is hard to be alone so find yourself some old friends and hang out.If you are interested in a certain type of activity hang out there and find people with same interests.I myself cannot wait for the racing season to start at the dirt tracks....And am looking forward to going to hang out and drive the go carts in cottage grove.So hang where you are interested like baseball game... and find someone female that is interested in same things and build from there.I am also from Minnesota. Good luck.
959323
It depends, do you love the ex? If you are unsure then take things slow. Maybe you and the ex could date, hang out etc and get to know each other again. Explore all the reasons you left to begin with, have any of those reasons (issues) been resolved? If not, nothing has changed and you will leave again when the "new, fun" is over.\nMake sure you don't go back just for comfort.
307926
First, you need to make sure that she is not under the impression that there is any chance you guys could get back together. Remember you broke up for a reason and if it was a stupid one than maybe you should reconsider the relationship. Another thing you need to be careful of is that fact that she may be very unstable if after 2 yrs she is still crying over your separation. By now she should of moved on at least a little bit. I'm not saying that she should be with someone and madly in love. I am saying that she should of by now, come to the realization that there is nothing more there. Another problem may be if she hasn't seen you move on, this may fuel the flame sort of speak. If she sees the fact that you are single and not looking she may think that you are just waiting for the right time to get back together with her. Hopefully this helps......
1155505
Part of the therapy for getting over a divorce is to re-join the "human race".  With a divorce, we go through "separation anxiety" ... and that is a very miserable condition.\n\nDon't feel that you have to leap at the first opportunity to date ... but don't shy away from one that interests you.  Ease back into it, maybe by starting out going out with a group of friends, then a couple friends, then venturing out on your own.\n\nThere is no generally-accepted timeframe for waiting.  Let your own heart and needs determine that.  Just be cautious about "rebounding" and jumping into a worse relationship than the one you just left ... just because "it's there" and you're hurting.
860895
Isn't the distance grounds enough for a divorce?what is your reason for coming back in.?the reason you have given here is not enough.\nmove on with your life.your absence is abandonment.
139397
Depends on how well you can forgive and forget...I think the more time apart the better . Put some distance between the memories and have room for maturity.
921227
the only way to stop feeling like you want to get back with him is to realise all the reasons you haven't worked in the past. Write a list of everything that split you up and then study it. Then ask your self if the only reason you want to get back with him is because it's better than being alone. Which in the long run it isn't.
1098915
Talk to him about how you feel and about your concerns.  Let him know you want him to be honest about his intentions regarding you both becoming a couple again.  Tell him that you would rather have him be honest - that he needs a place to stay when he gets out, or that he really does want you back.