Black Sheep Joke - "....rectum, damn near killed him."?
926923
The doctor asked the EMT to explain what was wrong with this patient in the ER. The paramedic said, "Well, this retard stuck a rocket in his cornhole." Doctor said, "You mean, rectum?" "Wrecked'im? It damn near killed 'im!"
633920
LOLRMAOOTF! Damn that was a hilarious joke. Johnny is very "smart"!
913312
A pig is walking down the street and smells something so he goes there.\n\nAnd the man throws hm out some bacon and he eats it and he hears someone screaming when he did.\n\nThen the man throws out some ballony.\n\nSo he eats it and he hears another scream!!\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\nSo finally he gets scared and doesn't know what to do until his mom comes and asks what he's doing?\n\n\nSo he tells her i ate some bacon and ballonie.\n\n\nThe mother pig faints when he goes home and takes his mom back he asks what's bad about that???\n\n\nand his mom replies that That was his brother!
433055
oh my is he dead?!??!? Lol!\nwoa sorry for the misfortune
153506
One that asked:\n\n"If you eat a steak, you'll poop a turd. Does that mean that if you eat a trud, you'll poop a steak?"
1036139
i just received this joke from a text message..\n\nthere is this boyfriend and girlfriend..\nbf: "hon, let's do 69!"\ngf: "what is 69?"\nbf: "it's easy.."\n\nthen they positioned theirselves..\nwhile in that position, the boy farted 4 times..\n\nthen the girl reacted and said "omg! i cant do this anymore! i cant take anymore the remaining 65!"\n\nlolz..
945564
LMAO.\n\nWas that how he died?
616312
Once upon a time... there was this guy who was the president. While president, he got caught with his pants down and lied to try and save face. \n Now the opposing party knew this was the big break they had been looking for. One of the members boasted, "we could put a monkey in office now". And that is exactly what they did. \nThe End
478086
There is a case of a man in Yorkshire or Wales, I forget which, laughing so hard that it caused him to have a heart attack. His fit of laughter was brought on by watching The Goonies with Eccythump. The victim's wife sent a letter addressed to the Goonies to the BBC thanking them "...for helping him die with a smile on his face...because it was how he wanted to have died..." :0)
766571
lol, it was a very cheesey joke. . .but i laughed anyway lol, ive had a really bad day >_< i need jokes brign them on!! please??
1056966
The Post Turtle\n \nWhile suturing a cut on the hand of a 75-year-old Texas rancher, whose hand was caught in a gate while working cattle, the doctor struck up a conversation with the old man. \n\nEventually, the topic got around to former Texas Governor George W. Bush and his elevation to the White House.\n\nThe old Texan said, "Well, ya know, Bush is a 'post turtle'."\n\nNot being familiar with the term, the doctor asked him what a 'post turtle' was.\n\nThe old rancher said, "When you're driving down a country road and you come across a fence post with a\nturtle balanced on top, that's a post turtle." \n\nThe old man saw a puzzled look on the doctor's face, so he continued to explain, "You know, he didn't get there\nby himself, he doesn't belong there, he doesn't know what to do while he's up there, and you just want to help the dumb s_h_i_t get down!"
1017206
A really ugly tomcat trying to get it on with our cat who was wearing a home-made chastity belt at the time.\n\nFor the full story, see\nhttp://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AlqYnUW2w4ZF1CkWcQPQbVXsy6IX?qid=20060616135108AA9kd30\n\nJust picturing should be enough to make you laugh.
90147
THAT IS THE FUNNIEST JOKE THAT I HAVE READ IN A WHILE...\nI JUST CANT STOP LAUGHING. (I AM 3) MAN OH MAN, MY MOMMY AND DADDY ARE GOING TO LOVE THIS.\n\nIT WAS A KIWI!!! HA HA HA LOLOL...\n\nYOU'RE KILLING ME!!! \n\nMAN, I JUST POOPED MYSELF! I CANT STOP LAUGHING!\n\nOH...HEHEHE.....HAHAHA...LOLOLO....\n\nWHEW...MAN THAT WAS FUNNY....\n\n\n......\n\n\n...........\n\nHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
142680
One day Johnny walked into the classroom, and the teacher said, 'Johnny, do you have your report done?' He replied, 'no ma'am.' She said, 'if you don't have it done by tomorrow then I'm going to make a call to your parents.'\n\nAs Johnny is walking home from school he looks to his left and sees two greyhounds racing,and one gets so far ahead of the other one that it just stops and the other one rams its head right up its @??.\n\nJohnny takes out a piece of paper and writes it all down, saying to himself, 'This is going to be my report.'\n\nThe next day at school the teacher says, 'Johnny, do you have your report done?' He says, 'sure do.' So he goes up to the front of the class and starts telling them what he saw. 'Yesterday I was walking home from school when I saw these two greyhounds racing, and one rammed its head right up the other's @??.' The teacher says, 'Johnny, we don't use the word '@??' in the classroom, it's rectum.' Johnny said, 'Rectum? Hell, it damn near killed 'em.' (1st ref.)\n\nThe actual joke you're asking about doesn't exist: "The punchline to an infamous joke; the actual joke, however, is unknown and, therefore, only the punchline is used. It's enough." See second reference.
452212
What has the world come to? People don't seem to make good clean jokes any more (keyword: good)! Sheesh...\n\nHere's one:\n\nA pregnant woman gets into a car accident and falls into a deep coma. Asleep for nearly 6 months, she wakes up and sees that she is no longer pregnant. Frantically, she asks the doctor about her baby. \n\nThe doctor replies, "Ma'am, you had twins! A boy and a girl. The babies are fine. Your brother came in and named them." \n\nThe woman thinks to herself, "Oh no, not my brother -- he's an idiot!" \n\nExpecting the worst, she asks the doctor, "Well, what's the girl's name?" \n\n"Denise," the doctor says. \n\nThe new mother thinks, "Wow, that's not a bad name! Guess I was wrong about my brother. I like Denise!" \n\nThen she asks the doctor, "What's the boy's name?" \n\nThe doctor replies, "DeNephew" \n\n:o)
850352
very funny lol ^_^\n\npoor dog\n\nthanks for sharing it
138046
Ok people it was supposed to be a joke (I think..) why is everyone getting all butt-hurt? So what's the punchline?