Ladies - Are you married/in a long time relationship yet do you often think about the second place guy?
925280
I can totally relate to where you're coming from. I am also happily married to an amazing guy who sounds a lot like your husband - attractive, sweet, dependable. Yet I sometimes think about other guys I've been with (even brief relationships from back in high school!) or develop big crushes on guys I meet (see my latest post for details). \n\nI can also give you advice as someone who has followed her feelings and tried to "have it all" and the cake, too. A few years ago, I had a very brief affair - which I then confessed to my husband (also detailed in an earlier post). I was very fortunate that he forgave me, and now almost 4 years later we have a child together. The thing is, the affair totally wasn't worth it. Not only did I hurt my husband, who has been my best friend for 10 years, but I went through an emotional hell (and a deep depression).\n\nI can see a lot of similiarities in our situations because I am religious also. That can cause even more angst when these sexual feelings arise, because you feel so much guilt from them. What I've come to recognize is that the feelings are normal, but you just need to be careful not to act on them. It's OK to think about other people from time to time, to fantasize as long as you don't start spending all your energy wanting it to come true. \n\nIn your case, since you've been with this other guy in the past, it would be really easy to fall into it again. My advice is to stay away from him. Enjoy the memories of the exciting sexual moments you've shared in the past, and remember that you're an attractive person to other guys. Use it to boost your confidence and feel good about yourself, just don't act on it. Hope that helps! :-)
293081
I married the perfect guy, but I still feel something for the man I was suposed to marry. I've contact him after 11 yrs and he is still mad at me, besides we have an ocean between us, and I dont want to leave my hubby! wilmary69@yahoo.com
1165347
Hi, I met my husband at my place of employment. I only thought of him as a nice person, possibly a friend. He came in one day and asked me to go to a band job with him(he is a drummer). I said I wanted to go and he was a perfect gentleman in every way. When I got home he said goodnight and patted my hand. I really knew he was a good guy and I would date him many times after that. After two years of dating we had a beautiful wedding. I still love him so much I could not tell you.
890342
Are you crazy, I'm married and I think I'm having a fantasy about you right now! It's only natural to think about other things, or other people. That's the great thing about imagination.
1046792
I am a woman who has only had sex with men, but I do think about being with another woman at least once just to see what it's like. I don't know if I ever will or not...... but it's a thought.
556399
No I didnt have a last fling. I dont regret it at all. I have something even better. AN amazing husband.
629749
I was. It took some time to think it all through, find new things to do and concentrate on, and new chances for love to appear. But it passed and I feel that I am stronger for it.\nBig piece of advice: do not keep anything that reminds you of him. Let it all go. ALL of it. You can't hold on to a small part that was wonderful because it will keep you tied to him.
1171786
no sure how long you two have been dating, but beware.  Guys who usually rush into marriage thinking should send up warning flags.  I was in a relationship that moved like that one, and he was very emotionally abusive, and would most likely have been physically abusive if we had gotten married.
555329
Sweeite, it's alright.  What you feel is totally natural.  I have been with my guy for three years and I am the maid of honor for a woman who has been dating her guy for five months.  I have a complex about it, and she loves to rub it in.  \n\nSomething I have realized, though, through all this is that marriage, while being the ultimate committment is not required to have a totally fulfilling realtionship.  While I may not even be engaged, I know that we are meant to be and have a bond that my friend cannot even contemplate with her new beau.  \n\nNot being egnaged only means that you are mature enough to know that the marriages that last longer are the ones who wait two to five years.  You will not stumble into anything weird wwhen you get married.  You know everything about him.  Believe me, some of these new brides will find at least one thing that will surpirse them about their mate.  Getting married in the honeymoon phase of a realtiohsip, while looks good on paper, is not really the best way.  once that is over, what do you have left?  Only knowledge and understanding of the other will be the true test of time, and that can only come with time.  \n\nDon't sweat it.  You are the smarter one.  Know it, breathe it, live it!  You are one up on them, not the other way around!
349176
I was in the same situation with my current boyfriend. We were best friends for five years and I was even married and divorced in that time. I finally just went after him and it worked out for me. Don't play games just be honest and ask.
521422
personally i would say no, you hardly know him after 3 months, trust me i speak from personal experience (yes i did end up divorced) you will still be in the infatuation stage of your relationship, wait a year or two then think about it for a while but rely on your own instincts not on anyone elses opinion. It is you that will have to live with the decision for the rest of your life (hopefully). Just for the record I have been married to my second wife for six years and we have two great kids and no regrets!
582548
Hi.I know how you feel. I am married to a guy and i only have to look at him or when he kisses me he makes me crazy.You can never have too much of a good thing.
454064
No. there will always be in the back of your mind if he's two-timing you with someone else or if he finds someone else. The trust will be minimal and I don't believe a relationship can exist without trust.
722863
I lost my 1st husband 10 yrs ago. I just dated and dated. I am very independent, but felt like you. I still felt lonley.\nTry personal ads where some men are in same area.\nWorked for me, been married for almost 2 yrs now. This man is really my knight in armor. Good luck to you..there are some good men left.
569355
In high school and when I was single, I had more guy friends.  My best friends were women though.  I think I had more guy friends because I liked the attention and flattery without having to be committed in a relationship.  \n\nNow that I'm married, I have more girl friends...I get all the attention and flattery from my husband!  I can relate to women more...especially women who are married and/or with kids.\n\nMy husband doesn't have girl friends and I don't have guy friends...unless they're mutual friends of ours.  It relieves us both of making the other feel uncomfortable.
602587
Speaking as one that was in a 25 year marriage that failed, when it first happened , the LAST thing I wanted was another relationship right then. I went out with several ladies, and I really liked some of them, but NO realtionship! Years later, I think I'm now emotionally ready for one. He probably cares a great deal for you, and in time, I see a future there possibly, but not now for sure. Just be patient, love him, and you just might get the man of your dreams. Good Luck!!
610109
been there done that...and all i can say is that no matter what others say this is really something you have to get over yourself\n\ni went out with the same guy three different times over two and a half years. he cheated on me every single time and still i kept going back. finally after the third time something clicked. i was ready to marry this guy, i had the ring and everything. after the third time, i would hang out with him because i figured i could be just friends but that didnt work.\n\ni still think about him, i still love him, but i am happily married to the greatest guy in the world. the only thing that helped was time, and my own determination.\n\ngood luck