My mother in law can't bond w/me nor my family what can I do?
930366
It sounds like she has serious emotional problems. Something has made it hard for her to lower her guard and trust  others. Just go about your life as if she didn't exist. That way, she can't hurt you. Talk to her if she talks to you but keep your distance.  It is very unnatural for a grandmother to treat her grandchild like that. And it's amazing that she raised a normal son.
852130
You're looking at this the wrong way.  What you have to realize is that HE has to stop her, you can't.  If they are that close you will only become their common enemy if you attack her.  What you need to do is talk to your husband and let him know how you feel.  Remember to be respectful of his mother.  He may be telling you that he doesn't like the way she "butts" into your relationship but, trust me he's not telling his mom that.  Maybe you should try to be friends with her.  You both love the same man, right?  That's your first thing that you have in common.  Build a relationship, don't attempt to tear one down.  You can't win.  It is ultimately your husband's place to establish boundaries with his mom.\nGood luck!
131010
girl, i feel your pain. i have the mother-in-law blues as well.  she shouldnt be so intrusive and pushy. my fiance and i just had a falling out with his mother. our lives are so peaceful when they dont talk. i dont know how close your husband is with his mother, but there are lines you just dont cross and shes just testing you out. i dont know if your a blunt person or not like me, but you and your husband can both say it her so that she understands its the two of you who feel this way. not just you. you have every right to feel uncomfortable about someone knowing your finances and business period. but first talk to your husband before you talk to her. good luck.
738973
TOUGH!  I kind of had the same problem.  I talked to my husband about it, and made it very clear that I adored her, but feared her meddling would come between our relationship.  I also told him that I in no way wanted to come between him and his mom....but we needed to set ground rules.  He understood more than I thought he would...and he talked to his mom about it.  After all, he knows her better than I do...so he knew how to express this without upsetting her and making me look like a bad person.  It has worked very well, and we are ALL happy now.
432372
Patience is a virtue, I always say. If you live with them I feel for you. Just a few things to remember, 1)if you love him then you will learn to appreciate and deal with the family that you married into. 2)Although, everyone disagrees sometimes try to bond with your inlaws and things will go better than being upset. 3)Get to know your mother-in-law as mother than just a mom but a friend or gal-pal. 4)Do something as a family together. Go out and do something that you all will enjoy.
842658
Your mother in law is forgetting the meaning of THANKSgiving.\n\nDO NOT let your marriage be dragged into the mess.  If you ate with your MIL last year then YOU and YOUR husband should honor your sisters wish to have the whole family together.   Explain to dragon lady that this is the first time in years your family has been together and RE invite her to enjoy a day with NO work. \nI lived it the WRONG way for 23 years I spent holidays at my in laws because we are neighbors and my mother in law DEMANDS it.  My mom lived 3 hours away and my  household was used to the big family get together next door.  SO we ALWAYS went to the in laws...So MY mom had a 3 or 4 person Thanksgiving .  \nMy mom died in June and I wish I had spent more Holidays with her. \n\nIf YOUR mother in law lives near by,  and your husband sees her regularly~  Then let her whine about Thanksgiving.    She should NOT be allowed to manipulate YOUR life with YOUR husband.    Visit her for PIE at her home after dinner, but do NOT give in and eat there.\n\n\nSorry so long , but TRUST me... I lived it the wrong way for 23 years...
953071
Tell your mother in law she needs to get a tonguectomy.  LOL\n\n\nYour mother in law is always telling you what to do, but are doing what she tells you?  It's very simple.  The two of you together need to tell her to keep her nose out of your personal affairs, and if she can't manage to do that then she will be out of your lives for good.  The choice will be hers to make.
652225
I FEEL SO BAD! Where's the time for you? I didn't see anything for you at all. I didn't see any counseling for yourself. My fiancee has ADHD also and I know how that part of what you're going through. We're not married yet, but it's taken quite a bit to get his mom to finally accept our relationship but, your mothers treatment is UNACCEPTABLE! You ever watch the Nanny on tv? She says a childs behavior is UNACCEPTABLE quite a bit. She's not a child (which would be more Acceptable) she should be showing you more respect. You can only do what you can handle. You're first priority is to yourself and your immediate family. Meaning you, your children and your spouse. Your husband needs to stand up to the plate. (as my fiancee finally did) He needs to back you when it comes to his mother. His first priority is with you and your children. He also needs to be helping you with the children and around the house as much as possible. Even though he doesn't work, you two need to have a night out once-in-awhile by yourselves. Maybe, you can talk to your mother-in-law about a limit of times to help her and she in return watches the children for you night out. By this I mean EQUAL TIME. As far as the bills, reality isn't that your mother-in-law is going to pay the bills. First off, I don't see if you're living with your mother-in-law but, if you are that's going to be a majority of the problem. Which getting your own place would be greatly advised. There are places that can help with deposits and financial resources. In all, it makes me believe you are living with your mother-in-law and that's going to be a very hard and stressful situation. My advise is to move. Your husband may be ADHD (so is my fiancee) but, he still needs to know he is to be responsible. Write down what he needs to do and try to involve the children in all the chores. Watch "The Nanny." Or go online if you can't get that show in. She helps not only the children but, the relationship with the parents towards how to keep everything together. You're not a work horse and no one should treat you according. Good Luck!
836183
Well, trying to tell his family that you have a problem sometimes may be a lost cause.  Why don't you have a serious talk with your husband.....\n\nMore importantly, I would distance myself from your BIL.  And, don't let him IM you and you don't IM him either.
353550
First of all, when did you guys officially become husband and wife - you made no mention of that in your question.  If your wife is a grown woman and is allowing her mother to act that way, what can you do.  It is sounding like she has given control to her mother.  Check yourself.  Make sure you have not done anything to offend your mother-in-law, if so then get it right.  Try talking to the mother-in-law.  Ask her why she is acting out so bad.  Coming to your job is definitely over the top and you should definitely ask her never to do that again.  Get in touch with your wife.  Explain to her that you cannot go on like this.  Her not coming back on her own is sounding like she doesn't want to be with you.  Ask her point blank what her intentions are.
865556
Mom in Law is experiencing a new life and as everyone else goes thru it, it'll come as being routine in time as well.  Things will settle down and she'll see the light again.  Give her a chance to live a little..... life's too short.  You sound a bit selfish, sorry to say. Most people WANT their inlaws out of their business. What's wrong with the brother fixing up her house? Nothing. Not to be critical but you remember how it is when you feel so alive when you first start dating someone? Well?  It's your mom in law!  She is feeling alive and beautiful.  She loves your children I'm sure and in a couple of months when the newness wears off she'll be back. :))))  Take care!
653421
kill her and hide the body!!! LOL just kidding, it is hard, the best thing you can do is have your husband talk to his mom, other than that you are sol. it is a funky little sitch because if he is not ready to cut the strings and you push him he will hold it against you, stupid i know but that is how it is. if you say anything to the mom she can easily manipulate it to drive a wedge between you two. only move if you have to for a job or something, because the phone can easily still work no matter where you go. so have your hubby talk to her first, then maybe sit down as a family to work out some rules or something. good luck on this sticky wicket!
189977
I really think you know the answer.  If you feel she is separating you from God, it should be clear.  Besides, do you realy want to add conflict with your husband when he doesn't trust her?  You have to take care of yourself, it doesn't matter if your brother is involved.  If he has a relationship with her, you may be forced into the friendship in a way.  My wife has a similar problem with her sister-in-law.  We just try to avoid her as much as possible and deal with her brother when we can.  Good luck.
807206
I went through this with my husband's ex-wife.  She flipped when we got together and tried to keep us from seeing his son.  She did some pretty horrible things at the time, but since has changed drastically.  \n\nAll your sister and brother-in-law can do is document everything and get the police involved is she is witholding the kids from him.  He needs to go above and beyond the call of duty to try and see them, for at least a while to prove that he cares.  I am sure he cares, but you need proof in court.  \n\nAdditionally, they need to stay tight lipped in front of the kids and never say anything negative about their mother in front of them.  That kind of thing has a way of affecting a child and coming back to haunt you later. \n\nThey just need to stick in there and lean on each other for support.  It is hard, but will get better eventually.
694372
My mother in law didnt like me either. She said it wouldnt last a year. Well its been 32 years and we no longer speak to her because she pulled some rel nasty stunts on our children. I say stay with him and ditch the mother in law too.
641139
It's your mother. Screw other people and what they think.  Move her into your house and let the brother in law and husband fight it out with each other. You and your mom can watch from the sidelines.
604653
Definitely keep open communication between you always. Talk about things. \nBut I suggest that you have a talk with your mother-in-law-to-be. Ask her for some suggestions. She not only has experience being married, but she knows your future husband.