Nanny needs help with a bossy 5 year old....?
916631
Please address this issue with the parents.  find out how much interaction she gets with her parents and the newborn.  This could be a key in why her behavior is bossy and might indicate the parents attitude about the newborn.\n\nTry teaching the child how you do your work and incorporate her into the routines.  This might sound weird but she maight be trying to see where she fits in in the family and she might be trying to justify her existence and usefulness to the family.\n\nI have more but will need more information on the home life to be more complete in my answer.
815725
Look into NetNanny (http://www.netnanny.com)
536081
I was in the same situation that you are in. Mine was also 5 years of age. This child hated me. Wouldn't give me the light of day. So this is what I did. I would ignore him at first. I found out what he liked and disliked. I started to watch power rangers with him and other shows. At first he didn't like it but then he got used to me being there. I would also play cars with him. Same way with the TV show. One time I asked him if he wanted to go with me to go get some hot wheels. Now we are really close. You just got to get at the child's level. Interact with the child more. The child maybe a brat at some times but show it. Kids can see right through you. This is there way of testing you.
228503
It also depends upon how naughty ur kid is or how understanding ur kid is !!so keep that in view n charge a nanny!
57099
why can't you teach the child yourself?  i think that if you don't, you are missing out on a huge part of being a parent.  they will be upset when they get older that you hired someone to do the dirty work..
548462
DR PHIL SUGGEST TIME OUT IN THE LAUNDRY ROOM OR A TOTALLY BORING AREA OF THE HOUSE AND IF SHE HATES CHORES LOAD HER UP OR TAKE SOMETHING SHE LOVES IE. TOYS,VIDEO GAMES,OVERNIGHT AT FRIENDS ETC. TRY TAKING HER TO CHURCH ALSO , HAVE HER INTERACT WITH OTHER CHILDREN THAT ARE GOOD INFLUENCES ON HER AND ARE CALMER IN NATURE. EVEN IF U R NOT RELIGIOUS IT HELPS
1048886
Your poor daughter is going through huge changes and poor you are the safe person to take out the frustration on. I think its appropriate for you to sit her down and have a calm talk. Just state your case; you appreciate she is growing up, she wants to be treated more like an adult and you agree that its reasonable; and you want to be treated with respect the same as she does. You can tell her that you can both talk things over and reach a compromise, but you won't tolerate rudeness. \nSay that you also have a responsibility to take into account her safety, so rules are their for her benefit not just to spoil her fun. Also offer her a deal; if she ever finds herself in a situation where she feels uncomfortable she is allowed to say "I'll have to check with my Mum" or "My Mum won't let me do that" so you get the blame for being uncool not her.\nOur kids need to break away from us at some point or they'd still be dependant on us as adults, but at the same time they don't have the skills to handle it tactfully or with maturity!\nI think you've had some good advice here and its been good to hear from people who are the same age as your daughter. I'd agree that you can now stop providing for her as if she were younger, she might feel a bit smothered. Ouch! Its ok for you to set her chores to do, and if she does them with good grace she earns her allowance.\nYou aren't doing anything wrong so don't feel guilty. You don't have to put up with being treated like something on the bottom of someone's shoe! \nI'd really strongly recommend that you take up a new interest or hobby, and sign up for some part time classes at college. It would help your daughter to recognise you as someone other than Mum, and it will help your self esteem.
1118874
Sadly Liz there is not much you can do except keep a cool head when around you is craziness and encourage both parents to talk, not yell or use spiteful abuse towards each other. Maybe then there is a chance if they can listen to each other, but always remember it's never the kids fault, the problem lies in their relationship. Goodluck I feel for u!
673740
my daughter is 10 yrs. the same as yours she can be the sweetest thing and at times the devils advocate. There were times when i would get so enraged that i would hit her until once i pushed her and she hit a mirror and luckily didnt get hurt, after that i learned my lesson and went to a parenting class and learned to control my temper and talk to her when we have a problem.  I have a girlfriend who lives with me and 3 days ago she wanted to move out because of my daughters attitude at times.  At that age there is not much we can do but try to spend more time with them, and talk to them, but most kids dont want to talk, so you can always call the Maury show and see if that helps. Friends have a great deal with your childs decisions, they see a friend have something and automatically they want it. If a friend is allowed to do something or go somewhere why cant they.  Who has the right answer. i dont. but i hope my knowledge helped a little.  You can email me if you want to talk more about this at hilldisplayfixture@yahoo.com.
933291
im a mum and i found it hard having help in the kitchen maybe you could start by helping with the washing up   then ask if you can help with the cooking my kids always leave me with the mess grrrrrrrr
65148
I am a nanny for a child with ADD, I don't think full time school is the option for him, but I'd look into your local government to see what they can do for helping you find a home worker, or work at home nanny that will come in and help the child.  The mother of the children I look after is a single mother as well, and she couldn't cut back her hours at her job without losing it all together, so she hired me, between the two of us, we are able to meet his needs, and he is much happier, and doing much better in his school work now that he goes to school.  If you can't afford someone like that, talk to anyone you can, at the school, your doctors, your mp and so on to find out if you can get help paying for someone to come to your house.  The one on one attention for your child would be very beneficial.  The main thing is to keep him in a schedule that he can anticipate every day, same people, same events, same timing, this will be very crucial in his world.\n\nPS If you are looking for a nanny type stable person that is flexible with your hours, talk to your school, and even a local church, they sometimes know of many young women of about 20-30 that love to work with children, especially those needing a bit of extra help that would rather work with children than go into the work force.  I wish you well.  :)
703406
Maybe you could get her a book about manners!  :)  Or one on how to get along with other kids?   lol  Maybe it would help.  \nSeriously, I have known kids like that and almost always they are bratty or mean because they have some serious problems with the adults in their lives and they act out their pain.  \nGood luck to you!
652225
I FEEL SO BAD! Where's the time for you? I didn't see anything for you at all. I didn't see any counseling for yourself. My fiancee has ADHD also and I know how that part of what you're going through. We're not married yet, but it's taken quite a bit to get his mom to finally accept our relationship but, your mothers treatment is UNACCEPTABLE! You ever watch the Nanny on tv? She says a childs behavior is UNACCEPTABLE quite a bit. She's not a child (which would be more Acceptable) she should be showing you more respect. You can only do what you can handle. You're first priority is to yourself and your immediate family. Meaning you, your children and your spouse. Your husband needs to stand up to the plate. (as my fiancee finally did) He needs to back you when it comes to his mother. His first priority is with you and your children. He also needs to be helping you with the children and around the house as much as possible. Even though he doesn't work, you two need to have a night out once-in-awhile by yourselves. Maybe, you can talk to your mother-in-law about a limit of times to help her and she in return watches the children for you night out. By this I mean EQUAL TIME. As far as the bills, reality isn't that your mother-in-law is going to pay the bills. First off, I don't see if you're living with your mother-in-law but, if you are that's going to be a majority of the problem. Which getting your own place would be greatly advised. There are places that can help with deposits and financial resources. In all, it makes me believe you are living with your mother-in-law and that's going to be a very hard and stressful situation. My advise is to move. Your husband may be ADHD (so is my fiancee) but, he still needs to know he is to be responsible. Write down what he needs to do and try to involve the children in all the chores. Watch "The Nanny." Or go online if you can't get that show in. She helps not only the children but, the relationship with the parents towards how to keep everything together. You're not a work horse and no one should treat you according. Good Luck!
887088
Well usually there is always a problem about this. That the job is defined, and yet there is much more to it.  So if you do feel that it is too much, then you have a talk with the conernced person. Tell them that this wasnt agreed for in the start, and after seeing the extra work required, i would like xxx more compensation. Either she will agree or disagree or re-negotiate the terms with u. \nAs u say that wont do any more compensation, and if u really feel that its too much, then you should leave. This is not the last house that requires a nanny. besta luck
287737
She knows who her mommy is.  Don't worry.  If she is 13 months old, it's hard because they aren't receptive to everything you tell them at that age.  Just keep enforcing to her that you are "Jane" and mommy will be here later to pick her up.  Maybe her mom can give you some pictures of her to show the baby during the day, or even make up a little book with photos?  You can show the child the book during the day a few times, and refer to her mother as "mommy" to reinforce the idea of who her mother is.
893621
Keep the lines of communication open with the child. You helped with her care and if they are willing to keep those lines of communication open - go for it. Invite her out perhaps for dinner once a month and ask about school plays/functions. Don't overstep the bounds too much since the child has someone else as a legal guardian now, but you can still enjoy her life with her.\n\nMiss Cris\nhttp://lendinganear.wordpress.com
107863
I had a very similar question with a 5 year old who always wanted my attention.  A friend of mine suggested that I put him to work.  Awesome!  Now as I'm putting away groceries, watering the lawn, feeding the dogs, anything,  . . . I always find at least some small aspect that he can help with.