Do spend part of thanksgiving with my in-laws?
923437
Well, I completely understand where you're coming from. You want to be loved and welcomed, but unfortunately, not all in-laws work out that way (no matter what the race, religion, etc.). My grandmother's mom HATED my grandfather for years, and he wound up eloping to marry her.  They are both the same exact religion and ethnicity too. Eventually, the mother grew to appreciate and respect my grandfather and my grandparents have been married for almost 60 years. \n\nThing is, you shouldn't have to deal with going someplace where you are "tolerated", but again you don't always have control over that. All that you can do, is just suck it up for your wife, kids, and be the better man. Eventually, I would say talk to your wife about having your OWN holidays though and if her parents want to visit YOU then that's fine, this way they are on "your turf" now so to speak and if they disrespect you, you can ask them to kindly leave your home.
343651
I would start learning your husband's native language seriously. Show some respect by at least trying to learn his culture (by learning the language first). He will be so impressed by your willingness. Let alone your in-laws! And also, it is OKAY to remind (or tell) them occasionally to please translate the jokes in English. Or tell your husband that you like to get involved in the discussions and have him translate it for you once in awhile. \n\nAnd some insider, it is not that easy to have somebody speak in English (or whatever language you both share) every single time when English is not even their native language (this goes to the man. So appreciate him even more).
983857
I would take it as a compliment.  They obviously had no one else to spend the holiday with, whether it was by choice or not.  By their actions they seem as though they may not be the most appreciative family.  I would address it with them when it is not during a holiday or family time.  This will cause unneeded tension between the family.  Explain to them that you would not mind if they were to come over as long as it was planned and you did not get caught off guard.  Also, they may have rented a cabin but it may be all a front.  Most Americans are living beyond their means.  \n\nRemember you can't choose your family, but it could always be worse.
138645
Yes and no...traditionally, as you already know, the groom's parents throw a party in honor of the engaged couple as a chance to signal their approval of the match and to introduce the prospective bride to their friends and family she hasn't yet met....not having that, in some areas, might give rise to whispers that there is some reluctance on the part of your prospective in-laws....so if his folks want to give you a party, for heaven's sake, let them!\nThere is nothing stopping you from arranging another celebration of the engagement, but I'd ask a few close friends to put the word around that presents are not expected because it's considered tacky to appear to be throwing a party to get more gifts...same reason you can't throw your own shower.\nGood luck and best wishes for a lovely wedding and a happy marriage.
787445
Give respect and cook nicely to your in-law's taste.
871211
My parents are divorced, so we have separate celebrations with their extended families. Usually on Christmas Eve we go to my Grandma's (Mum's side) and have a casual help-yourself christmas dinner and drinks with cold chicken, ham, turkey,salads and Nan usually makes trifle. After dinner we have present opening, then we sit and talk and watch the kids play with their new toys and be all excited and cute. Then everybody gradually heads home. Then on Christmas morning we (my sisters and I) open presents from Mum because we live with her. We laze around in our pyjamas for a while relaxing, then we head off to Dad's place. We usually have a lunch very similar to the dinner at Grandma's, cold meats and salads, then we open presents and then we relax for the rest of the day and have leftovers for dinner. And then it's all over and we enjoy the holidays : ) I hope that was enlightening, and hope you have a safe and happy Christmas : )
959345
Since you have so many places to be and so many people to see, I suggest you guys use the whole week before xmas to celebrate. I would spend a couple of days with his father and wife and then a couple of days with his mother and her husband and then spend a couple of days with your parents. But make sure you are back at your home for Christmas day to celebrate each other. What a great way to spread holiday cheer and make everyone happy. This way no one can be mad about who you spending Christmas day with, since it will be with each other at home. I realize this is alot of running around but thats what the holidays are all about, the hustle and bustle. However, I would get married and a bigger place so you can have everyone over at your house and let them do the traveling.....Merry Christmas and Good Luck!!
1050497
Absolutely...family get  togethers are always interesting, to say the least...nothing boring going on there, is there? And, you will always have someone to be mad at...all built into the family. You will always have a group that you will feel "better than." Think of the consequences of their being "perfect in everyway!" That would be a harder bunch to face than a bunch of loonies. Count your blessings..unless, of course, your wife is part of the madness...then you have more problems than this note can cover :-)
831324
Read here\nhttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thanksgiving
429232
Wow!  I know how that can be stressful.  Take them to a quiet restaurant where there won't be too much noise, maybe call ahead and see if you can get a quiet corner reserved.  Or, plan to get take-out from a nice place, lots of them have curbside service now, and have dinner in your parents' or the new in-laws' house (not sure who's coming where) that way you won't have to cook, but the environment is just you guys.  But the good thing about being at a restaurant is if things are kind of akward, you have a natural ending time, at the end of the meal when its time to leave, and no one has to feel weird about kicking anyone out.\n\nGood luck, hope it goes well.
316304
Spend time with my children and wife
868823
No.  You want good food that you know is good on Thanksgiving.  You were just being real with him.  Nothing wrong with that.
804266
well you best talk to your spouse and let the in laws hang because they are on the outside and the important one at this point is the one your with. but explain what happen and that you meant no harm.
803859
My sister in law didn't show up after saying she would come.  My brother walked in the door without her.  She didn't come because I didn't invite her son from her first marriage his wife and their child (6  years old) and his wife's son from a first marriage (16 years old) and her daughter from that first marriage (18) and that girls boyfriend that she is shacked up with.  I was already cooking for 9 people and my husband is not with me this Thanksgiving because he is overseas.  (He is the big cook in the family)  I didn't feel I could cook for more than 9 people and still keep my sanity.  That was the drama this year.
941350
It depends on how close the couple is...I would take it to the heart in my case but that is because my boyfriend and I consider each other family and his family is my family and my family is his family...the point is, we are all very close so yeah, if he said that it would hurt me.  We are having 2 thanksgivings this year, we are not cooking at our house but my side of the family is having turkey dinner around 4 or 5 and his side of the family is having it around 8...so we are going to starve all day and eat at both families houses.  A little off the subject but all the talk of thanksgiving got me thinking about it, sorry.
859069
We....Watch movies, eat a feast with egg nog, sit downstairs by the fire, and have family time. ^_^......Not all at the same time though O.o
432372
Patience is a virtue, I always say. If you live with them I feel for you. Just a few things to remember, 1)if you love him then you will learn to appreciate and deal with the family that you married into. 2)Although, everyone disagrees sometimes try to bond with your inlaws and things will go better than being upset. 3)Get to know your mother-in-law as mother than just a mom but a friend or gal-pal. 4)Do something as a family together. Go out and do something that you all will enjoy.