I'm in a commited lesbian relationship, but recently I've been having feelings for a male coworker...?
923328
Fidelity counts for a lot, but how does your committed partner feel about a threesome?
67701
You should know if you are. Ask yourself if you are developing feelings for other men,if you are then you certainly are. If you are not, you'll get over this feminish phase.
867485
if you're not really not into him(as you said, you're a lesbian), then you should not worry about how his reaction is going to be. besides, if he's a real friend (and not "acting" as a friend just so he can hang around with you), he would accept you for who you are. if he can't, you've got nothing to lose, right?
320446
well.. most of the times when we get attracted to another person.. inspite of being in a seemingly happy relationship..it's because we find something in that person.. or in our relationship with that person.. that strongly fills the invisible,subconcoius void in our own present relationship.. masny a times,being women we compromise in our relationships for the sake of our families,society and all that..so much so that we often forget what we wanted from our relationships.. till the time someone else comes into our lives... like a fresh breeze and we end up feeling that this is what we always wanted.so analyse your feelings and the reason why u feel u like this other guy.. if u can then try to bring it into your relationship.and see if this particular factor was responsible for u falling for this guy.. i say falling for this guy n not falling in love as it may just be infatuation.. u know even though u love a person it isn't possible to stop getting attracted.. point is where to draw the line.. remember it takes a second to break but ages to bulid.. especially where our relationships are concerned.. but if u still can't get over your feelings for this man.. then think aboutit.. as the problem may be in the relationship u have with your hubby right now.. in that case even if this guy goes.. u'll end up feeling the same for another guy who.. kind of fits into that void which i was talking about..\nand even if u do go for this guy leaving your hubby.. remember one thing..-NO RELATIONSHIP IS 100% SATISFACTORY at the end of the day something will be a lil amiss.. and in the same way something may be great too.. so just think about it.. carefully.. before u do anything.. so best of luck and may god help u in getting over this delimma.. and don't be overtly gulity.. remember we're human beings.. we're not perfect.. TAKE CARE!!
101103
Dear Penny,\nBefore asking any questions, or even analysing the myriad of eye movements, hand gestures and pupil dilating which probably indicate commitment, think what YOU want from this relationship. \n\nThe previous respondent talked about friends with benefits, but in this instance I have the feeling it applies to you also. \n\nSo: how do you feel about him? Honestly? Do YOU want to commit? If the answer is yes, be brave, be honest, and let him know you're ready to take this relationship to the next level.\n\nGood luck!
201962
Sorry to hear your angst ... I'm sure it's very hard and mixed up for you right now.\n\nBottom line girlfriend ... if you REALLY love your boyfriend, you'll forget about this lust you feel.  If you have the desire and feel you cannot accept not experiencing this other guy and getting it out of your system, then you have no other choice but to get out of your current relationship.  Otherwise, you're a cheater and a user.  You may not even know what could happen if that encounter were to happen, you may lose everything because it just wasn't everything you expected.\n\nGood luck in your choice, whatever it may be!!
179511
Do what your heart leads you to do. If we push something and it is unnatural it is not meant to be or work out. If he feels as you weekends will work, the relationship will grow and arrangments in the future will blossom. Do not leap walk slow........this is your opportunity
772830
You need to find out where you stand with him. If he doesn't feel the same way you do you need to cut ties to avoid getting hurt further. If I were you I would not do this kind of thing again. I do not think it is possible to have an on going sexual relationship with another person without developing feelings of some sort for a woman. We are very emotional and loving beings. We're sensitive. Many men can do this because they are not. Take care of yourself first.
845120
You need to be very careful of how you handle this. If you approach her, she could take it as sexual harassment. Either way it goes, this will effect your job.  I would suggest finding another job before bringing this up to her. I understand that this may not be as easy as it sounds, but you should understand that once you do bring this up, things at work will change. What if she feels the way that you do, but someone later breaks it off? Will you still be able to work with her? Will she want to work with you? You also need to think about what will happen if she doesn't respond well to you. She may not take it as far as the sexual harassment that I mentioned earlier, but it could make her uncomfortable enough to not want to work with you anymore. You are probably safer fantasizing about her for now.
61744
how long have you known him?  what do you feel?  I mean really feel in your heart, physically, mentally?  are you sure it isnt just lust, infatuation, physical attraction or just puppy love. I believe if your in love with someone you will know without question.  I think the fact that your wondering if you are in love with him that maybe your not in love but one of the other things listed above.  Just my 2 cents
339174
The lesbian thing fits...cus you don't seem to have along term plan in mind with someone that could otherwise be a candidate for...I think you can save the friendship if you take the time and consideration to explain to him that its not him, its you and it wouldn't hurt to let him down easy by saying you knew if you could feel for a man the way a woman normally does, I thought you would be the man that could do that for me..but your feelings don't go there..so it would only be fair to both of us to remain friends. It might be a stretch but you owe the friendship that.
135052
They're right, you're not gay. You're just feeling a Special Bond, with your friend that you've never felt for someone. He's your BEST FRIEND and your FAMILY now, and you're depressed, insecure, and your feeling vulnerable, therefore it causes you to want to cling to him. You don't want to loose him, like you did your parents. All these things are making you confused because you've never been through so much at one time in your life. Thank god you had such a wonderful friend. That kind of friend, you'll love for the rest of your life.\n  You'll be in my prayers. Good Luck.*\n\nAddition:  MIKE92111, below, gave you a GREAT ANSWER.\n   Loving something or someone, is not the same as being  'in-love' with someone.
221504
Definately stop sleeping with him if there is no future. You can be cordial at work, but don't speak to him outside of work, it'll be hard but worth it in the long run. Guys will never cut it off so you have to be the strong one. Just tell him its hard for you not to have feelings for him when you sleep together. \n\nOnly you will know when its right to date again. Don't go out looking for someone to "get over him" with, it won't work out. It'll be months before you're over him, you were with him for a long time.
935795
tell him ur a lesbian because of him
583264
You should worry.  You are now an accessory.  Your coworker has just pulled you down with him.  He is not your friend.
1046446
Temptation is normal, but don't let it get out of hand.  It's okay to have a little crush on this "other guy" for now, but just weigh what you and your boyfriend have and what you and this "other guy" have.  It sounds like you and your boyfriend are strong, moving past a problem like cheating, but obviously, you like your boyfriend MORE than this other guy.  That's why you're with him...YOu LOVE him, right?  If it is as you say, then you definitely don't want to give that up.  You tried the other guy 4 months into your relationship with your boyfriend, and you didn't decide to run off with him, but you stayed with your boyfriend instead, meaning that you want your relationship to work out with him, and he seems like he is prepared to stick it out with you as well.  If you truly love him, then you won't leave him for this other guy, even if it may seem more exciting or if you still have left over feelings for him.  The goal is to leave feelings from the past, in the past.  Since you have a commitment with your boyfriend now and you love him more than anything, the other guy is merely a temptation.  Like I said in the beginning, temptation is normal, but don't let it get out of hand.  We're all human...we all have hormones, adrenaline, sexual feelings... ;) ...Even happily married couples have temptations, but it doesn't mean they drop whoever they're with and move in with the other person.  Theres that self control and rationally weighing what you could lose if you go either way.  Now ask yourself, is the other guy worth losing your boyfriend over?  As time goes on, and you realize how much you have and don't want to lose, the temptation will subside.  If however, you realize you don't have much after all (and you don't actually love your boyfriend), then you should look further.  Don't make a decision until you are absolutely sure, because you may not be able to turn back.
408575
This is natural, but try to see how much you two [current beau] get along; are you very compatible?]  If you still have these feelings for boy number one, talk to him and see how he feels.  It may be easier to ask personal questions since he thinks you are taken.  He may just tell you how he felt and feels now [about you.]  If this works out, test the waters before you get in too deep with the current one.  If it's already too late, then I'd suggest you push #1 out of your head.  Look at him like he's a not-so-likable person or something.  If you want to leave a favorable impression, don't be disloyal to your man.  If you don't give a shi*, go for it.  A piece of shi* is still a piece of shi*.  Just hope you aren't one.  I'm sure you're not, so be true to yourself.  Check it out without doing the nasty.