Is self esteem a commom problem with high school students?
925468
Yes, adolescents have not yet established thier own identity, values, and self worth.  Many factors contribute to this.  Such as:  home life, the manner in which they were raised, searching for what makes them, "them", relationships, peer pressure, aspirations, as well as attacks on one  another to establish ones own identity because they have not yet learned the proper manners to do so.  (self esteem building, communication, problem solvling ect)\n  The adolescent ego is very fragile as it is not yet fully developed and very impressionable.  Making self esteem issues very common in high school aged children.  \n  Many people struggle with this issue all of thier lives though.  But I think the adolescent portion of their lives is somewhat the most difficult period, in regards to self esteem.
584666
People with poor self-esteem often rely on how they are doing in the present to determine how they feel about themselves. They need positive external experiences to counteract the negative feelings and thoughts that constantly plague them. Even then, the good feeling (from a good grade, etc.) can be temporary.\n\nHealthy self-esteem is based on our ability to assess ourselves accurately (know ourselves) and still be able to accept and to value ourselves unconditionally. This means being able to realistically acknowledge our strengths and limitations (which is part of being human) and at the same time accepting ourselves as worthy and worthwhile without conditions or reservations.\nOur self-esteem develops and evolves throughout our lives as we build an image of ourselves through our experiences with different people and activities. Experiences during our childhood play a particularly large role in the shaping of our basic self-esteem. When we were growing up, our successes (and failures) and how we were treated by the members of our immediate family, by our teachers, coaches, religious authorities, and by our peers, all contributed to the creation of our basic self-esteem.\nSelf-esteem is largely developed during childhood.\n\nHealthy Self-Esteem\nChildhood experiences that lead to healthy self-esteem include-\n\nbeing praised \n\n\nbeing listened to \n\n\nbeing spoken to respectfully \n\n\ngetting attention and hugs \n\n\nexperiencing success in sports or school \n\n\nhaving trustworthy friends \n\n\n Low Self-Esteem\nChildhood experiences that lead to low self-esteem include-\n\nbeing harshly criticized \n\n\nbeing yelled at, or beaten \n\n\nbeing ignored, ridiculed or teased \n\n\nbeing expected to be "perfect" all the time \n\n\nexperiencing failures in sports or school \nPeople with low self-esteem were often given messages that failed experiences (losing a game, getting a poor grade, etc.) were failures of their whole self.\n \nWhat Does Your "Inner Voice" Say?\nOur past experiences, even the things we don't usually think about, are all alive and active in our daily life in the form of an Inner Voice. Although most people do not "hear" this voice in the same way they would a spoken one, in many ways it acts in a similar way, constantly repeating those original messages to us.\n\nFor people with healthy self-esteem the messages of the inner voice are positive and reassuring. For people with low self-esteem, the inner voice becomes a harsh inner critic, constantly criticizing, punishing, and belittling their accomplishments.\nTHREE Faces of Low Self-Esteem\nMost of us have an image of what low self-esteem looks like, but it is not always so easy to recognize. Here are three common faces that low self-esteem may wear:\n\nThe Impostor: acts happy and successful, but is really terrified of failure. Lives with the constant fear that she or he will be "found out." Needs continuous successes to maintain the mask of positive self-esteem, which may lead to problems with perfectionism, procrastination, competition, and burn-out. \n\n\nThe Rebel: acts like the opinions or good will of others - especially people who are important or powerful - don't matter. Lives with constant anger about not feeling "good enough." Continuously needs to prove that others' judgments and criticisms don't hurt, which may lead to problems like blaming others excessively, breaking rules or laws, or fighting authority. \n\n\nThe Loser: acts helpless and unable to cope with the world and waits for someone to come to the rescue. Uses self-pity or indifference as a shield against fear of taking responsibility for changing his or her life. Looks constantly to others for guidance, which can lead to such problems as lacking assertiveness skills, under-achievement, and excessive reliance on others in relationships. \nConsequences of Low Self-Esteem\nLow self-esteem can have devastating consequences
1070341
mmm...how ugly, am i going to be put off my food..hahahah, no serious, I dont think it only matters about looks or popularity..maybe in high school, but after that none of that matters..mmm my answer, not sure.. all my friends are popular and i find that popular people are generally self obsessed and egotistical..their my friends, i should know....( but they are nice) If your talking high school days then arent all the hot people popular anyway?? So if he is hot and unpopular then either he is an absolute annoying idiot (stay away) or just shy (kinda cute)\nUm i have to make an answer....cant answer. Hot unpopular..there i chose, unpopular are usually more in love with u and less in love with themselves..a superficial answer for a superficial question
801816
It is pleasurable to the one getting it, feels very good.  BUT it does leave the mark, and everyone knows what you've been up to.  Once you get out of high school, you really shouldn't be doing it unless you want to look cheap.
341649
Define "regular really sweet girl."\n\nAside: Doesn't high school suck? I remember the sh!t I had to put up with all those years ago.\n\nFor all you kids that are stuck in the suck, take it from me, life gets better once you leave high school.\n\nUntil then, worry about your grades, and don't worry about any social circle bullsh!t, it doesn't count in the real world.
1143082
Be honest about the difficulties you experienced in high school.  Your classmates will appreciate it.
849113
What is high school about?\n\nIt really depends on your perspective.  When you are a student, high school is about creating a balance between fun, academics, and status.    It is a zero-sum game, where if you put effort into one, typically you have to take away from another.  It all depends on what your final goal is.\n\nIf you were like me and were a “geek”, your goal probably is to get good grades.  Traditionally, these are the people who end up hating high school but tend to succeed in life.  As much of their effort is spend on grades, their social status really lacks and they don’t have much fun as a result.  On the flip side, these are the ones that people view as a success in life.   I will always remember that I took my ex-fiancée and a friend to Florida for spring break.  My ex had never been to Disney so we went.  I was talking to a guy in line at one of the rides who was an auto worker in Detroit.  When he found out I was in school for Engineering, he told me tales of how much fun high school was and how he would beat on the nerds.  Now those nerds were his rich managers and he was living paycheck to paycheck.\n\nThere are those who spent their time having fun.  This could be sports, drinking, drugs, you name it.  I spent some time with this crowd and I did enjoy myself, but at the end of the day, other aspects of my life suffered.  A lot of this crowd never seemed to leave the town we lived in.  Many have stable jobs, but don’t have the income to afford a really nice lifestyle.\n\nOthers spend time on social status.  These were the popular people who were funny, personable, or beautiful.  This was the hardest group to penetrate and seemed to have the biggest fall from grace after high school.  When they get out into the real world, they get a harsh lesson in reality that no one cares who they are.  They lose their power and are just like everyone else.\n\nSome people were excellent at all three areas.  Some people sucked at all three.  \n\nDepending on where you stand, high school may be a blast or may be the worst 4 years of your life.  Regardless, be prepared for life after high school.  Once you walk the stage and leave those doors, the world doesn’t care what you were, only what you can offer them now.  The geeks tend to go from nobodies to someone important.  The athletic ones tend not to change a whole lot.  As I mentioned, the popular crowd can have a tough time when they realize they have nothing to offer without their “clique”.\n\nIn terms of academics…it isn’t that bad.  It may seem like a lot of work, but in retrospect, the work is pretty easy.  What I did enjoy in HS is the fact that you can learn pretty much whatever you like.  I could take Pre-Calc and woodworking in the same year and not have to worry about what it looks like on my transcripts.\n\nMy advice…just be yourself and take what classes interest you.  To do it all over again, I would spend much more time in auto shop (a very valuable class when you start paying your own bills).  Learning to fix things in shop is very valuable as well (I got to build a race car in a team in college because I learned to acetylene weld in HS not to mention the wood working I learned in HS fixes my house now).\n\nI hope this helps.  Good luck and enjoy the 4 years!  Once it is over, your future is up to you and only you.
1020796
That's life - it's just more obvious in high school because they haven't perfected the art of being two-faced yet.  \n\nI'd say to just live you life the way you believe that it should be led and don't associate with those that behave in that manner.  Also, don't be two-faced yourself.  People are drawn to each other by their similar attributes.  If you don't behave that way you will find friends who also don't behave in that manner.
1150781
I feel for people who have a "cheating" mindset.  They say their only goal is to pass and succeed.  Yet they do not realize that they can have no self-worth in the process, because their success depends on the talents and abilities of others.\n\nSecond, whether or not other people have cheated and appear to have been successful in the process is beside the point.  The question is whether I will stoop to their level, or whether I will have integrity.  "What do you expect me to do?"  Honesty is an option, because a grade of "A" means nothing if it was not earned.\n\nThe problem we are running into--the reason that so many states are finding problems with their education systems--where high school students graduate but cannot read or do basic mathematics--is because we are focused on passing and not learning.  And this is going to catch up with us.  For the individuals who cheat, they will ultimately cheat themselves out of success.  For us as a nation, we will find ourselves paying the consequences for this in the near future, I fear.\n\nThe gap between the "haves" and the "have nots" is widening.  There are fewer and fewer who are learning and applying themselves--and as that number continues to shrink, there will be no foundation left.  Those who "have not" understanding but have only focused on getting the passing grade are ultimately hurting us all.\n\nGeez, now you got me on my soap box!!!
295480
Yes.Fully agree. Besides than can find out the interest of their career, actually the process is the most important. I mean during the program or even the time of organized for a certain event, that's the way for them to get to know what's the leadership is, how's the society actually look like. Compared to the student who just focus on academic, yes, sure they might be the best student. But, the question is, when they growth up and no longer in school, are they still the best student in "society" ? The truth tell us that, No ! They seem like a baby after they graduated from high school or University.\n\nThe extracurricular also help student in term of communication. The way how to talk with people. They know the way how to talk to thier friends and to teachers or even principle. For sure they won't be play childish. \n\nAs a conclusion, students especially teenagers, they should join the extracurricular in order to mentally and physically can be balancing. Thinking will be more mature and for sure...they will appreciated what they have !
87352
High school for me was rough but fun. I didn't really start coming into my own until late my junior year. I was still a pimply teenager that resembled Beavis. But looks can be decieving. After awhile I took care of myself a lot better and I found myself being the person that people turned to for advice or a quick joke. I got along with just about everybody. Basketball players, nerds, and everybody in between. Though I enjoyed high school, I would not want to go back. Academically, I struggled through but I did graduate.
42130
I had a math teacher in high school who was everyone's go to guy when they had a problem about anything. He was a laid back hippie type dude. I was having a hard time with my self esteem in high school and he gave me a book called 'The power of positive thinking.' He bought me a cartoon of smokes just for reading the book.   So to answer your question ,yes its normal and awesome you have someone in your school that you can talk to about stuff that you wouldn't or couldn't talk to your parents about.
958656
Sorry.  I think the obsessive pursuit and concern over narcissistic "self-esteem" is actually a primary root of most of our culture's maladies.\n\nAt its worst extremes, the preoccupation with "high self-esteem" simply goes delusional - just witness some of the responses to blunt criticism in the American Idol tryouts for one obvious example.\n\nNo, sometimes you really don't have talent.  And sometimes you really aren't qualified for that job.  And sometimes you really are a louse and treated your spouse poorly because you're too selfish and self-absorbed.  And yes, adultery is wrong and it doesn't make it okay just because you're trying to "find yourself."\n\nSee what I mean?\n\nIf instead we took more time to THINK OF OTHERS and the impact our actions have on the world around us, we'd all be better off.  It's time to stop pasting our noses up to our mirrors and remember there are others around us.\n\nBest to you.
210292
I would not worry about the gossip and your parents shouldn't either. I have found that people who have a habit of gossipping are usually focusing on others when they should be addressing their own problems (which some of them never do). Don't let them interfere with your good intentions. I would talk (with the permission of this young man) to the school counselor to see what assistance he/she can offer to this young man and he/she may also be able to be of help to you with this endeavor. It's unfortunate that the coach wasn't very helpful and didn't have a more positive attitude. One of the courses in college that might be helpful to him is one that will help boost his self-esteem. His lack of self-esteem is probably what led to his bad reputation and attitude and probably played a key role in a lot of his situations including his lack of friendships . He needs to understand that changing his image and attitude is the key to his success in college and in other situations. Good luck in your endeavor.
393928
I actually think that it's a defense mechanism.  Sometimes people try to focus on imperfections in others rather than focusing on their own imperfections and insecurities.\n\nAlso, it often starts in high school or middle school when a person can gain popularity for bad-mouthing people, and in this way, developing a personality for themselves.
51432
Not at all. Lots of my girlfriends did in high school and nobody found anything wrong with it.
159990
self-esteem seems to be a main source of a problem that branches out into other issues such as drugs,sex,lack of self respect,devience,caused by various pressures surrounding them on a daily basis,pressure to be,feel,or look,"normal"when theyre hormones are out of control and everything seemes "messed up" around them.Which only ads to the self esteem issue.