How do you cope with the loss of your soulmate?
928024
If the baby is less than a year old, then your friend is going to be very preoccupied with the baby. I don't know if you have any children yourself, but a baby takes up a lot of your time and energy. I know that my wife scarely had time to take a bath, eat, or even go to the bathroom. On those rare ocassions when the baby is settled down and actually taking a nap by his or herself, the first thing a mother wants to do is rest, take a nap herself if she can even afford that luxury because a lot of times a mother will fall behind on house chores. Taking care of a baby is exhausting, and much worse if the baby does not sleep through the night. I know that my wife at times didn't even have energy to make a phone call, or even turn on the computer to answer emails.\n\nGive your friend and the baby some space, and give it time. You could send her a note saying that you think about her a lot, and that you miss her. You could mention that you have some things for the baby that you want to drop off, and ask her to call you to let you know when a good time for that is.\n\nGood luck. I am virtually certain that your friend is not intentionally ignoring you.
1124675
How sad .......you lost the very first love you ever had because of someone you trusted ......... someone you had been kind and loyal to. You not only lost your first love, you lost a friend : two deaths.\nI think that it will be hard to resolve your feelings because there is no way to resolve the issue. You can't change the past.. Your relationship was interrupted. In order to heal from this tragic wound, you need to approach it the same way you would a death. You need to go through the stages of grief. There are some good methods outlines at : http://www.elderhope.com/e_class/new_grief/grief_2_2.html\nI am so sorry for your losses. \nI carried the unresolved loss for over thirty years, and then I called my childhood boyfriend (I found his phone number on the internet). I told him what had happened and we talked about it. We talked about our lives and families and things in general. About two weeks after our conversation, I woke up one morning and realized I was no longer thinking about him. I realized how happy I was that we never married. I was thankful my life had taken a different direction.\nI still feel pain about my friend who betrayed me. Her actions caused me to distrust people throughout my life. I wish I had had someone to help me go through the grieving process when I was young. Good luck. There is a different, better ending to your story. One day you will be happy about it because, if your boyfriend had been a purer person, he would not have abandoned you because of gossip.
1085801
Try not to dwell on it. The more you spend time thinking about it the worse the situation will become. Loving someone doesn't always mean being with them so be as supportive to him/her as possible without becoming more emotionally involved. Focus on other aspects of your life that get you out of the house and spend time with other friends. It won't be easy to get over not having your love returned in the way you would like but you'll have to or you might risk losing your best friend.
959174
you feel as though someone died because you are losing your loved one..to hold him back from a great opportunity will only make things bad. he could always hold that against you. it is hard on him also to leave, that's why he didn't tell you in the first place. maybe you can go visit him. if two people truly love each other, long distance relationships can work, maybe one day you will move there to be with him.
443682
You don't.....\n\nWe lost our daughter 4 years ago.  There really isn't anything you can do to make it go away.  But, as foreign as the notion seems now, it becomes less painful over time.\n\nWe actually ended up moving because I saw her everywhere.  We made a fresh start in another house in another city.  I think that was the beginning of the "better" for me.  I wasn't driving by the hospital she died in anymore, I didn't see her laying on the couch, playing in the yard.\n\nMost of it is in your heart.  You have to figure out the way that makes this okay for your own peace.  Can you see past how much you miss her to realizing that she is no longer in pain?  Can you reconcile it with your religion or spiritual beliefs?  Can you let her go?\n\nIn time you will have more peaceful thought and memories, and the tears that stream down your face every time you hear name will be replaced with a little smile.\n\nBetter days are coming.  I am so sorry for all you have been dealt.  I can honestly say that I know what you're going through........ and you are in my prayers.  If you want someone to talk to... I'm here.
677951
Time heals all wounds, friend. Do what you have to in the meantime. If you need to cry, cry a little. If you need to drink, drink a little (a little is the key word; don't need a booze problem on top of this)\n\nEventually you will find that your life goes just fine without her. There is no easy answer that's gonna make you forget her tomorrow. Love is tough; I've been there..\n\n\n***EDIT\n\nThe above posters are right. You will NEVER forget her completely, but you will be able to avoid the pain; that's important..
736058
I know how you feel, i lost my brother 6 years ago on monday. I still cry i miss him so much. Sorry for your loss. Keep strong, he is in a better place now and will always be in your heart.
879267
You will NEVER feel the same..BUT you don't have to hurt...thinking about her and remembering her is wonderful....it will be painful for a time but if it lasts too long talk to a priest or get therapy. I lost 2 children and my father. It hurt like hell for years and years and years...BUT I got help also I decided THEY don't want me to suffer and I will see them again in HEAVEN.....so I no longer suffer. I talk up at the sky to them at night here and there..the times get  less often but they are everywhere.....do whatever makes you feel at peace.....but remember she loves you and doesn't want you hurting..rmemmber the good times and if it helps say you are sorry for the bad times..she can hear you and you will feel better!
517491
I think you need a replacement or substitute for him...Be with your friends always and stay busy so that you won't think of him over and over again...Date someone in your office, neighborhood or church...Stay happy in the company of your relatives, family members, etc...maybe you still need to pray to God for on-going discernment on what is His will for you...I believe in destiny, that of billions and billions of people around the world, only one is menat for you...Just enjoy life, be productive, enjoy work and do community activities/services in your respective community...\n\nGod will give you something that you really deserve...Only God knows whats in your heart, mind and your soulmate..
241461
I was in your shoes, my friend, years ago. And this is what I did and learned:\n\nI waited & waited to be loved in return... five years as a matter of fact. I had many sleepless nights, I had a whole migration of butterflies in my stomach everytime we spoke over the phone, whenever i saw her, & even a simple thought of her. Not a single day, night & moment went by that I did not think of her. I was there for her emotionally, physically, financially, spiritually... & evermore optimistic for her to one day feel the way i felt. Yet, she did not reciprocate the same intensity & desire as i did. Mind you that nobody knew that i was feeling soo ga-ga over her, so i had no one, not one soul to talk to for advice or direction of what i should do. \n\nSo what happened? What did I do? \n\nWell, one nite i finally broke down, emotionally, like i had before and got down on my knees and prayed to help get over her. A warm blanket of feeling came over me and realize that I was just alone, too lonely & barking up the wrong tree. In that instant my head was clear & had enough gusto to say myself & her "no mo". I moved on. Since then, I had many friends to count on and goals that kept me busy.\n\nThe Truth is: I was infatuated. I "loved" someone who did not loved me back; who did not reciprocated... for five long years! It was a waste of my time, energy & not to mention financially. In that instant in the dead of night, i realized one love is not enough... it takes two.\n\nSo my question to you, my friend, how long can you wait?\n\n-Taz-
183187
Your soul mate will come to you unexpectedly.  Just relax.  Your time will come for love, dont push it.
1157482
Time heals all wounds. Be patient, and do things that take your mind off of her. If that isn't working because everything you do, you say "I remember when we did this together", then go to your local strip club, but don't be a mope. And don't think you are going to get lucky with a stripper, because there is a 99% chance that you won't. Spend some dough and get a couple of dances and you won't be thinking of her, I'll bet.\n\nGetting over your gal is going to hurt. It might take some time. These are the best bits of advice I can give, as we are all different, and we all get over things in different ways. Me, I mostly prefer to be left alone to deal with my grief. But one thing that I know will make me feel better is to do something nice for someone else. It doesn't have to be someone you know, either.\n\nHope that helps.
332549
I can tell you that time will lessen your pain, but you will never forget the person.  I still have a place in my heart for my first love, and while I don't cry over him or technically still "love" him, I will always remember him.  \n\nTime will make it better.  I promise. :)
347820
You should feel the way you feel, and not how anyone else tells you to feel.  That's the only possible answer. If you worry about a lack of feeling upon this persons death, you must understand the psychological shock of such an incident.  It takes time to come to grips with it. If you were truly close to this person, the grief and pain WILL come-believe me.  The most important thing is not to repress it.  You must let it come, you must grieve, and you must deal with it.  Don't ignore it, or bottle it up.  Let yourself feel it.  To ignore it is to harm yourself, and disrespect the memory of your lost one. God bless, and my condolences.
1038905
It takes time to get over someone that you have loved and trusted so deeply. I know that's probably not what you want to hear but it is true. The last thing that you need to do right now is to jump into another relationship. Take your time and let love happen to you again in its own time. In the mean time try to occupy your time with other things and don't dwell on missing him so much. I know its easier said than done but trust me in time it will get better.
817508
I really know what you mean, and it is so hard. \nRemember that this is all from within you, thus you can fix it yourself too. \nYour broken heart will be whole again in the near future. \nTo speed this up you can do a few thing, and believe me they have helped me.\nDon't see the person if you can manage it at all, in a book they say about 2 months. I had to see my ex every day, and even make small talk with him on occasion. At the time I wanted to see him but looking back it has just made the whole process agonisingly harder. \n\nDon't wallow in self pity, go out, see your friends, excercise this will really help and when you see him in passing in the future you'll look great, but overall do this for yourself, because you must love you.\n\nIt always depends on you personnally, but I reckon that if you don't see him for a good amount of time, you will realise you can get along just fine by yourself. If you do see him or hear about how he is doing, this will make things ten times harder, so don't. \n\nHe missed out on you not the other way around, and you never do no what is around the corner, \n\nYou know you will eventually forget and move on\nI hope you don't suffer too much\ngood luck
120447
Take a deep breath and grieve. then start with the small stuff. pay a bill or dust a piece of furniture. then see how you feel. try doing just one thing a day until you feel you can handle more.