I have to give a eulogy for a friend, how can I make it seem as if my friend "lives on" without.....
919257
You could read this poem:\n\nDo Not Stand at My Grave and Weep\n \nDo not stand at my grave and weep,\nI am not there, I do not sleep.\n\nI am a thousand winds that blow.\nI am the diamond glint on snow.\nI am the sunlight on ripened grain.\nI am the gentle autumn rain.\n\nWhen you wake in the morning's hush,\nI am the sweet, uplifting rush \nOf quiet birds in circled flight.\nI am the soft starlight at night.\n\nDo not stand at my grave and weep.\nI am not there, I do not sleep.\nDo not stand at my grave and cry.\nI am not there, I did not die!\n\nMary Frye (1932)
264137
I don't think there are any words or anything anyone can say that will make this better for you and your friends family.  Acts like this are absolutely senseless!  Hatred is never easy to understand or make sense of and in this case it is senseless.  Just hold your friends memory in your heart and he will always be alive for you.  Continue on with the good you were doing, that can be the best legacy for the bad in this case.  I will be thinking of you.
634378
I would say what comes from the heart not from the written page.  It is more meaningful and sincere.  Your friend will be there with you in spirit as well.
530480
I would talk with a pastor of the denomination involved. If there's not time for that write out a nice speech acknowledging the persons life, accomplishments, and strong personal points. Let the end of the speech call for the friends and family of the deceased to resolve (this is a resolution) to hold this dear ones memory close and to follow their example in good things just as they followed the example of Jesus. If you want to make it really nice and give people something to keep put the speech down on paper real nice and neat, maybe typed out or something like that, and then make lots of copies. If you can add a photo of the deceased (and remember to put things like the date and location of the church on it) I think people would like it. But check with the pastor before you do this. Hope this helps. :-)
217787
Well the answer is it depends on you - you can make it last your life OR you can decide that you were puton this earth to do good and have a fulfiling life.\n\nThe best way to address a loss of a loved one , is to plant a tree in that person's name and nurture it. That way you can use the sadness and make it constructive, I have lost three uncles who were all very close to me to various diseases, and for a year or so I was quite upset and sad.\n\nBut once I decided that I will make them proud of what I will achieve, the sadness lifted and I also met so many nice people along the way.\n\nAbout trying to fit in, give up on that. You don't need to waste your time on that. You are who you are enjoy that, enjoy whatever you do passionately. I'm sure you will meet someone like minded taht way.\n\nTake for instance I love playing tennis and racket games. And ever since I decided instead of saying I liked it to actually join a club and play it regularly I've met so many interesting people, and often we go out to see plays and concerts etc...\n\nAbout your kid, make sure he or she has a strong foundation in integrity and justice and you have done your part. Why don't you spend sometime like taking your kid to meet up with someone you really admired, so that your kid could also meet someone who has achieved something.\n\nAlways have a smile and you'll be surprised how many people would be drawn to you. Oh yeah, also try to remember a person's name, birthdate and their favourite pastimes. If you send anyone a birthday card, you will be good freinds for life...its that extra touch people want in thsi busy world...\n\nGod bless\nrgds\n*gazer
78888
I think one of the most appreciated ways to comfort a grieving person is to tell them how the deceased had touched your life, such as a short story or a character quality about the person. And then close by telling them that you are sorry for their loss and that s/he will be in your thoughts and prayers.\n\nKnowing their loved one was important to others is like salve to a wound.
1092147
Emily,\n\nWhile it may seem as if your friend knew her own destiny to be short lived in life, I would be inclined to also believe that in relating her thoughts of this too you she in no way expected her young life to end nearly so soon or in such a tragic way. There are those who believe they can see their own future and personally I feel some do but in your friends case I think her words were spoken to you with no thought of losing her life quite as suddenly as she did. I am sorry for your loss and hope that you will find peace with this in time. You have a wonderful family and are obviously deeply devoted  to them as seems evidenced at your greetings website. Which by the way is very nicely done. May life always be good to you.\n\nBest Wishes Always
70660
I think you should confide in a diary or journal or something like some previous answer told you to do. It really lifts the weight off your shoulders once you've written your feelings down. I mean, unless you dont keep your memories written down, then you should tell your 2nd best friend/a close friend who doesnt have any idea who your best friend is, so that the person you tell doesnt tell your best friend and screw up your friendship. Just like what some other person said. Or, if you do have a trusting friendship that'll be sure to last for a kachillion years (again, an idea from another answer), then you might just be able to tell your friend. That's why they call them best friends forever right? Nothing'll come between them
528514
The only way to really deal with it is in your own way. You have to let yourself feel the greif that comes with losing someone close to you. Remember that you are in no way to blame for your friend's death. Many people belive that they could have done something to prevent it but the sad truth is that you really have no control when a person wants death. It's going to be a hard process that will take time because you were close to this person but don't try to avoid the feelings. Pay your respects at the funeral to get some closure and maybe talk to their family. They are going through the same kind of emotions you are right now and you may be able to support eachother. If you find that you just can't function don't give up and seek some help from a psychologist. Anyone going through this kind of greif can use someone unbaised to talk to so don't feel bad talking to a counsellor of some sort. Above all just give it some time and try not to bottle up your feelings. It will get better and you don't need to feel guilty when you start to become happy again. Your friends would have wanted it that way.\n\nTake care.
786065
when my dad passes away the best thing that comforted me was just having someone to talk to who didnt say "how are you feeling" or "are you ok"...they knew i wasnt ok i had just lost my dad. tell your friend you are sorry about her dad and let your friend know you are there for them and then actually be there for them when they need you...
713799
Pick out a nice card that you feel suits hers and your personality.  Sign it simply, that's best.  \n\nLike,\n\n"You mean a lot to me, and my prayers and thoughts are with you."\n\nor\n\n"Please know I am here for you in this difficult time."\n\nDon't fo with the "so sorry" thing...it's overdone and we all know how little the usual response like that affects us.  Let your friend know you care.  That is what it is all about.
703095
Tell him: "I am really sorry four your loss (insert name here). Please let me know if there is anything I can do for you or your family in your time of need, or if you just need a friend right now." This is kind, and formal, yet personal, and shows you truly care for your friend, and feel for his loss.
325962
IF you really wanted to know ?\n\nI lost a friend a long time ago.\n\nA female friend of mine.\n\nWE were classmates.\n\nDuring the school vaction. She went on holiday with a parents in malaysia.During the bus trip there, she took a nap and never woke up. The doctors found she had died in her sleep. SHe died!!! SHe had a hole in her heart.I lost a friend that day, i never forgotton her.\n\nI am sharing with you this because i want yuou to treasure your friends. DO try to understand them. There is a reason behind all of it.Do not try to feel angry but try to find a sloution behind it. k. INvite them to your house to hang out and do something that all 3 of you like then you can start it again.\n\nDont lose your friends.\n\nTake Care.
930367
i would go to a card shop and pick out a sympathy card as opposed to writing a note....a note seems a little too informal for the occasion...and also a card will have a nice sentiment on it so you don't have to think of anything to write...you can just sign it "thinking of you..."\nif the colleague is some-one you are really close to, you might consider offering to pick up any of his/her shifts to help out
60767
Losing a close relative takes considerable time for the person to grieve and heal. Make sure she knows that you're there for her if she would like to talk, and call her or visit every so often ( twice a week sounds good ), just so she knows you're still her friend. Practice being a good listener, and never, ever tell her to "snap out of it." People grieve and heal at their own rates and cannot rush the process.
820034
It sounds like your friend is absent minded like mine is... Don't sweat it when she claims an answer you gave her a long time ago. Just remember that you are the one that told her in the first place and be happy she remembered it. Or, if you can't handle being a mentor, simply stop telling her anything. But I hardly believe you would do that since you Are friends.
1159349
If she has kids, offer to watch them so that she can visit her sister's grave.\n\nPlant a tree on her grave that will bloom flowers.  It will be nice for your friend to have a shady place to sit when she visits her sister and to see something strong and beautiful, which may reflect how she remembers her sister being.  Not only that, but it will make her sister's grave distinct and unique in the cemetery - she'll always be able to find her if she knows where the tree with the pink flowers is.\n\nTalk to her about her sister comfortably, let her share, and share what you remember about her.\n\nOffer to go with her to the cemetery and bring something to leave at the gravesite that you know her sister would like (favorite kind of flowers, windchimes, pictures, etc).\n\nIf you have any pictures or home videos that include her sister in them, make copies and give them to her.\n\nIf you have access to a lot of pictures of her and her sister, make a nice arrangement of them and frame them for her.\n\nThis might sound strange, but I know it's been done - Go with her to her sister's favorite place (park, lake, playground) and carve her name on a tree or into a stone if you can.  It's a way of leaving a physical mark that this person lived and was in that place.  It will be something that she can go back to and see and remember.  It sounds like an odd tribute, but it really can be meaningful.\n\nOffer to go with her to the funeral, wake, burial, family reception, etc.  Do not assume that this is for family only, and do not make her ask you.  Just ask if you can be there for her at these things.  She needs you more than you know.