How can I get myself to shut the heck up?
914228
take a couple roofies, or xanax and that should do the trick...
257736
Duct tape your mouth shut.
550527
Go for a walk and just have time on your own.  Talk to yourself about what got you so pissed off, what you should have said, what you are going to say, but without screaming or yelling so they could know that you really mean it and that you are not just talking because you are mad.....  I think that is the best as it will prevent you from getting physical with the person who caused you to get the way that you are and you will avoid saying something that you will or may regret....
767552
The easiest way to attack this problem is to put yourself in their shoes. How would you want to be told. In telling them you may find out there are things you do that annoy them. \nPick your battles. If it is something you can ignore or tune out then take that route. If it is something that is driving you mad. Share it with them. They may have done it for so long, it's habit and they don't realize there doing it.\n*Chewing food with their mouth open\n*Talking all through a TV show\n*Picking at their toes\nThese are some of my pet peeves. I on the other hand didn't get a very good reception when I shared these things with my man at the time. He took it as a personal attack, then turned around and pointed out my flaws. Hope you have better luck than I.
696162
be straight forward, honest, and tell her straight away, yet round about as well\n\nlook, i think your nice and have a nice (insert vocabulary, or sense of humor, or something of the like) but (insert annoying part) is annoying as hell, and i would appreciate it if you would cut it out/stop it
700425
Put your alarm clock in a place that is very far from your bed, or make it difficult to get to it.  Then turn it to 'music' and leave it on full blast.  You will be pissed by the time you turn it off, and you will be awake. I know you didn't want to be awoken with loud sounds, but it seems like you have a choice to make, your job or your comfort...
745398
Just laugh with them at urself... they would not expect that at all .. and they would definetly stop annoying you...\n\nJust laugh at urself with all ur heart.. :)
537343
Remove myself from the situation, take a walk, take a drive, if you can't go anywhere else, just go to the bathroom, shut the door, wave your arms and scream silently.  Take deep breaths.  Listen to your very favorite music.  Everyone has to find their own combination for what works.
12463
better shut up before you get yourself in trouble.
929941
don't say anything and leave room quickly but with coolness and let them discover the fowl smell for themselves after you’ve left. if it so happens that you "let loose your inner bubble" and you cannot leave the room, laugh along with every one else, try not to point any fingers at a person who is suspected of the noise. If  you let loose a tremendous noise that cannot be discerned from who’s backside it cam forth, say that you must leave the room because you...well make something convincing up and try not to make you voice crack under the strain of controlling your face, stifling a laugh, or collapsing under the weight of embarrassment. hope that helps you in you smelliest moments.
1148731
shut your mouth and hit the gym
1057408
find a girl to talk i bet u will talk until she says shut the hell up
736885
They like to tlak about themselves. Just give them a reason and you will have a harder time shutting them up ;-)
1168435
IF YOU GRUNT, NEVER USE GUM.\n\nAND BREATHING OUT BY MOUTH IS ALSO NOT A GOOD IDEA.\n\nLET THEM COMPLAINING.YOU PLAY AS YOU NOW.
775572
Keep on ignoring it. Dont let people see that them talking about it gets a reaction out of you, coz thats what they want. If they get no reaction, they get bored and shut up.
392991
Many times a person who needs to be loud in conversation or the "Know-it-all" type, or the type that seems to not allow others to talk...is a person who is insecure and feels very low about themselves.  Their loud boisterous opinions and lack of being able to let others in on the conversation says that that person needs extra attention and has very poor communication skills.  Trying to tell them to "shut up" is NOT going to get the point across.  As a matter of fact...it might worsen the objective.  Perhaps if you make copy of this answer with your question and quietly and in private present it to this person...you may get somewhere.  Start with a "Hey...(his name)...can I please talk to you for a moment in private.  Then take him aside and let him know that you appreciate his input on things...however.."I'd like to let you know that there are people who have some input into the many conversations we have...as we have listened to you...perhaps you would be fair to listen to what some of us have to say."  "And by the way...eating/chewing with your mouth open or full is socially unacceptable...perhaps you didn't realize you were doing this...and as a friend, I thought I might let you know.  \nTwo wrongs never made a right...instead it makes a war.  So treat his rudeness with corrective/non-judgemental kindness and see if a greater response comes from your directives.  Thanks for caring enough to make a positive difference in the lives of others.
634871
Shut up already!!!!  \nCallarte