Infidellity...or....??
915084
It may not technically be infidelity but it is certainly a very bad\nidea and will probably lead to infidelity...\nFalling in love with  someone else, even without sex, is also infidelity..
635634
Afraid of being caught... anyone who says otherwise may not be being too honest w/themselves.  Who doesn't want something for nothing?!
3255
Such a difficult question!  I ought to know.  This is the situation I am in.  I have filed.  In my case, this was not just one offense.  Even though this was the first "technical" adultery, i.e. the first in-flesh fornication (that I know of!), there have been years of infidelity in one form or another, e.g. viewing of pornography, visiting strip clubs, socializing with women w/out me.  I found out about all these things very much after the fact, as I was lied to for many years, beginning during our courtship.  There was much emotional and psychological abuse.  He has no respect for me.  I hung in there all this time and worked my hardest to make things better, including making him go to marriage counseling, because I personally believed it was my duty due to the covenant I had made with God.  ...but this for me was the last straw, and by God's merciful permissive will, this choice is provided for in scripture.  I hope you have not suffered in this way, but if you have....as excruciating as I know it is....have courage to leave him.  Maintain your self-respect while you still can.  Hold him accountable for his actions, once and for all.  If he truly changes and becomes a reformed person, it will become obvious, and perhaps you can one day reconcile.  If he doesn't...well, then, you are better off.  Now, if on the off chance that you have had a very healthy marriage and this was, as far as you know, a single transgression (...rather than a relationship or multiple cases of adultery.  In my husband's case..this was a six month emotional attachment and relationship, involving much debauchery, too), it would of course be desireable to God if you could reconcile, particularly if there are children involved.  ..but seek wise counsel.  His true remorse and commitment to real change is imperative.  Either way, seek counsel for yourself.  The trust that has been breached will take years to rebuild.  Above all, be good to yourself.  There is NO excuse for his choice.  God bless..and be strong.
811308
They both hurt.  Cheating is cheating but I would be hurt more by an ongoing affair with a woman he felt something for.  It is more damaging.
75704
This may be a little off in terms of funny but it is funny/odd. We all have heard the "f" word before & know that the term "f... you" is commonly used as a deragatory term, right? Do you, however, know what it means or where it comes from?\n\nWell, in the past, when people would go to confession, the phrase, "For Unsanctioned Carnal Knowledge" was written into the book where you would list your sins. That phrase means for knowledge of another outside the bonds of marriage, of course. Over time, the phrase was shortened to the word that some people hurl at each other in nasty ways today. Just think, you are mad at someone & cuss at them when, in reality, you are wishing them a VERY good time!\n\nThought you all might find it comical...I know WAY too many odd tidbits of information!
190919
UH OH...THERE YOU GO EXPRESSING YOUR MIND AGAIN! BEWARE! YOUR "OPEN" OPINION MAY INCITE WRATH FROM THE "INQUISITORS"! I AM A MARTYR OF THE CAUSE, AND I SUPPORT YOUR RIGHT TO SPEAK OUT IF YOU WISH....JUST BE CAREFUL! SAD, ISN'T IT???
589667
Good point, but first of all, we need to deal with adultery separately to murder and molestation.  The latter two are most definitely crimes, and society regards them as seriously now as it ever has done.  However, adultery is not in the same class, indeed, some, including me, would not call it a crime (I am not saying that makes it right or acceptable, just stating a fact).\n\nI note that you call adultery 'theft', but is it?  Theft usually involves the taking of anothers possession without their permission.  However, in adultery, one is not dealing in possessions, but people, and further more, people with free will - ie: one cannot steal another's partner because that partner's agreement is necessary.  It is not like stealing an object which has no say in the matter, adultery is a conscious and willing act on behalf of both parties involved.  Also, have you ever thought that, in some cases, adultery may be what keeps a marriage together?  Consider the younger wife of a much older husband - he has lost interest in the physical side of things and his wife is extremely frustrated.  It starts to cause problems in other aspects of their relationship, as she blames him for her frustration, and he feels guilty about it.  So, she takes a secret lover, her physical needs are satisfied, she no longer holds her husband responsible for her frustrations, and he thinking she is content with the way things are no longer feels guilty.  They still love each other in other ways.  Of course, the danger is in the secret lover becoming more important than the husband.  Just a thought.  \n\nOne also needs to consider motive.  Too complex an area to discuss here I feel.\n\nOverall though I do feel that as far as proper crimes are concerned, in the UK, we are not tough enough on criminals, and for a long time  the human rights of criminals have been considered at the expense of those of their victims.  Only recently have our politicians woken up to this fact, something society has been aware of, and complaining about for years!  How on earth people so out of touch with society can presume to govern us is beyond me!  But that is another topic entirely.
74364
Welcome to the world of hypocracy!  That is one of those great quandries.  Think about it, alot preach one thing and do another.  How many so-called men and women of god have been caught committing adultry among other things?  Call it being human or whatever but when you are in that position you are held to a higher standard.  How can you tell people something is wrong when you turn around and do it yourself?
506129
First of all, a mistake does not justify another mistake, so there was no need for you to tell that story of how she was infidel to you some long time ago. Secondly, how can you say you hate her if you had agreed to marry her and made a vow to spend the rest of your lifetime with her. Thirdly, Yes if you have the intention to be with someone else other than your wife then you are cheating on her and that's very bad.
518282
I have never cheated. When I said my vows, I took them to heart. Besides, I could never do something so cold hearted or heartless. When your truly in love, cheating never crosses your mind!!!
739873
Don't you consider that cheating???  If you can't pass on your own merits-what kind of person are you?  Have some self-respect.
703577
Sex and life - too complicated. I am now running out of answers.  Can we ever stand on judgement? Many of us have cheated, in our minds at least, some carry it through  a bit more. You know what, let it be. Que sara sara, it is not your conscience, it is hers.  Things happen and life is so weird
668326
Well, if you're looking for technical truths, yes you would be commiting fornication...but not adultry...because you're not "cheating" on a spouse. She would, however because she is. She is married and has a commitment to someone. Have relations with you is breaking that commitment. And in a sense, she is also commiting fornication.\n\nBut I believe, and in my opinion, that if someone (who may or may not be married) is encouraging someone else (who is) to break that commitment with their spouse, then they are just as at fault for adultry as that person is (in a matter or principle). I mean, come on, be an adult about these things and make the right choice. An affair, to me, just shows that two people can't make a commitment. \n\nHope this helps.
654803
When you are married and are having sex with someone else. Otherwise it is all just wishful thinking. \n\nDepends what you want....a fling or another relationship. If it is a fling enjoy it for want it is but don't expect it to last forever. Do you want to get caught? If so, it is better to tell your spouse and not get caught in the act. Believe it or not, infidelity also has ethics. Use a condon always. No calling home at night. Make your lies believeable. Do not let the 2nd relationship interfere with the 1st one. You have to give equal sex or as much to satisfy each one. And lastly, ask yourself why this happened- maybe it is time to end the marriage.\n\nIf you are the third in the triangle. Don't expect much, most people do not leave their spouse. Enjoy it for what it is and be discreet and generous. Realize that you are also to blame since you should not be involved with a married person so this says A LOT about your morals also. Also, ask yourself if you in turn will be capable of being faithful in a monogamous relationship. \n\nIf you are being cheated on. You can either get out or try to work it out with your spouse if they are willing to do so. Can you live wondering when it is going to happen again if ever? Do you want to try it? The door has being opened so you could. And finally,.....how did you contribute to this? Did you see it coming? Honestly. Did you enable it?\n\nUnfortunately nobody is innocent in this situation. It's more like a 33.33% assigned blame for everyone.
695416
You are being toyed with, from the way it sounds at least. I wouldn't put up with that. It is never fun to be at the butt end of someone else's game, whether it is a malicious one or not.
1066771
I believe that it is cheating when one fantasies about others. If one lust in their mind for some one other than their spouse, it's adultry.
716129
I would worry about that too. I'm was raised as very religious, but have found the light, so to speak and have become an agnostic. I'd keep my eyes open. A cheater is a cheater. P.S. Isn't adultery a sin?