What causes women to stay in abusive relationships?
925206
I have been in an abusive ( all 3, primarily emotional and verbal) relationship for almost 13 years now, married for 8. I think what initially keeps you in an abusive relationship is that although you know that something doesn't feel quite right, you don't really look at it as abuse. Then when you know what it is, you are in denial and you make excuses for the person because you love them. You then think that your love can change them or that if you change that they will change. Sometimes you stay because you're scared to do everything on your own or because you have children. You want everyone to think that you have the perfect family and life. You then realize that the problem is within that person and there's not anything that you can do to change them. That's where I am now and I am currently being proactive with my exit plan. I hope this helps. lots of love, V.
364409
You are not alone. You do not have to continue living with your abusive husband. He is not going to change. No matter how tearful and sincere his apologies may be, he will batter you again.\n\nYou can call the National Domestic Violence Hotline (24/7) toll free at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233). They can give you the number of your local program. The people who work for these programs are trained to help women in you situation navigate the social service and legal system. They may also have a shelter to provide you and your children with temporary housing.\n\nNo matter how much you love him you cannot fix him. You may think that if I can just love him enough it will get better. You could pour all the love in the world into him and he would still abuse you. \n\nYou can only fix you and make a better life for you and your children. When you make that call make sure he's nowhere around, like when he's at work. You need to be safe when you make that call. \n\nI'd be happy to talk with you if you want to email me. God bless you and your children.
526748
You answered your own question.Ah, wisdom is in your own heart.You said it quote"I'm SICK OF IT!!!!!So kick da bum to the curb and GET OUT OF THIS RELATIONSHIP ASAP!!!!For some reason over the years I've noticed women get into relationships with SOB's who treat them like dirt and won't tell them to take a hike. Remember us guys are a dime a dozen. I know cause I'm one of em
230019
They have this saying about an ounce of prevention is worth a Pound of cure.  Now, the women of this world have much to do with making babies and they also have the bulk of the investment in their offspring (physically and time-wise).  Therefore, it is very important that they be held in high regards and made to feel good whenever it is possible.  That is not being hen-pecked although that sometimes makes for a happy rooster, lol,  Anyhow, madness sucks and a hint of it is probably a sign of what's to come in the future; possibly spouse abuse and/or increasing disrespect.  If you simply overlook his anger and continue to develop that relationship then there is a fair chance that it could become a habit or could already be a habit.  That would be more than sad.  You would have to be on guard so as not to ever upset him because he could illogically knock your teeth out or worse.  Violence sucks and clear communication with mutual appreciation is blissful.  It's true, the women of this world are entitled to the utmost respect from every male for without you wonderful women we would not have been born.  I sense you females something akin to being GODS!  THE TRUE CREATORS!  Have a nice day, avoid conflicts as best you might.
679384
A very complicated question, but I think the following generalization applies many times:  if an insecure woman (and there are many) get properly abused by a guy, they subconsciously think that he must be better than her.  Why?  Because he's confident enough to treat her badly, and she's going to love it because she's hanging with a better guy than her.  If he didn't feel superior, he wouldn't risk treating her bad for fear that she would leave.  It's human nature to want to be with people better than you.  This is an overly simplistic answer, but it's more or less the fundamentals of it.
285768
Do not stay in any relationship that is not healthy. ABUSE WILL ESCALATE, WHETHER IT BE VERBALLY OR PHYSICALLY. You are a worthy person and deserve the up most respect. Talk to a close friend that you trust or your parents. BELIEVE IN YOURSELF, YOU ARE A SPECIAL PERSON!!!
963843
Typicalno answer is exactly right.I devorced one of those women.they try to control you in any way.don't let her get in you head like that.Your going to be misrable if you stay with her.
63068
Studies have shown that men who are abusive rarely change.  As much as you may love him, and as much as he may love you, it's not worth risking your life to be with him.
664101
I have never heard an abusive man described this way, to be honest. What I have heard from women in this kind of relationship is that they hate how the guy treats them, but they deserved it cos they said something or did something stupid. Soooo wrong!!\n\nThese women are wholly lacking in self-esteem, self-worth and self-confidence. They've been put down for so long, they truly believe the guy is right. They are so low on confidence that they will continue to state, Ohh, but I love him. I think that is because they see no way out..they feel they can't make it on their own, especially if they have kids, and they truly are SCARED to go it alone. They want someone to take care of them...and no, they really DON'T want the abusive guy, but they won't do anything about it until they learn to build up their self -esteem and truly believe that they are worth so much and have done NOTHING to deserve this kind of treatment.
1156080
because everyone wants what they can't have. women are jealous and sometimes stupid. who would fight over someone after they left you. tell him hit the road jack and don't cha come back no more no more hit the road
763106
Because many girls have grown up in households that were abusive in some way (physically, emotionally, or sexually). They become "comfortable" with abusive treatment, and many come to associate pain with love. Other girls grew up with absentee fathers, so they end up with guys who are unavailable in some way.
1129949
Women have this thing of wanting to believe the man will change and they can work things out because they want it to work so badly whereas men have the right thing in mind...They know that they would never be able to trust the woman and that it would bother them forever and it's an ego thing for men so they are able to walk away.\nWomen won't let things be over until they say it's over.
218216
you should never have punched a woman.  you deserve for her to leave you.  men who abuse never change... go to counseling and try to work out your issues.
213704
Because their father's were like that towards their mothers, it's all they know. It's a never ending cycle. If they do find a decent guy, or if the abusive guy changes for the better, the girl will get uncomfortable w/the relationship and just leave.
274222
It's been my personal experience that some men feel powerful and in total control if they are abusive to women.  I had an abusive husband and my girlfriend was killed by her husband.  I came close to death many times.  Even verbal abuse is degrading to women.  \n\nOnce a man has tasted blood, he is always abusive.  It's a turn on to them.  There are some real sicko's out there.....)(
594624
Some are attracked to jerks because they think that they can change them, which will never happen, they fall in love with the man he could be not the man he is. If she is getting hit then you need to talk to her about gettting out of the relationship and getting help. If you like you can write me poetry any time, I love it.
633255
Women often stay in those types of relationships because they think they can't do any better than that (i.e., low self-esteem).  They also may not think they can "make it" on their own, especially if they do not have a college education.