I am cheating on my Military man who is deployed. Do you get lonely when your Military spouse leaves for.?
914199
Wow,  see a councilor or you pastor.  If anything happened to your husband you would never forgive yourself.  You owe it to your marriage and each other to stay faithful.  Stay away from bars and build a network of female friends.  Scrapbook, learn a new craft or find a job to keep you connected with other people.  Break off the affair immediately and keep your self respect.
867922
It's only natural for a husband , or wife, to be feeling that way; especially since you two will be apart. It's sad to say, but since I live on a military base, you do see ALOT of that going on and maybe that's also why he feels the way he does. Alot of other soldiers may be putting "so-called" thoughts into his head, also. All you can do is be honest, sincere, faithful, and loving. Hopefully he will have enough faith in you to trust you completely. Being too jealous and suspicious can certainly pull people apart, also.
657348
My husband is active duty, but is able to retire because he has served 20 years. I enjoy being an officers wife. He is often gone, which is a down side, but during those times I am able to bond with my girlfriends. As stated in a previous message when he returns it feels like we are newlyweds. I also enjoy the constant moving. If you move to a place that you dont like, it's no big deal because you know that in two or three years you will be gone. I work also and when he is not home I do not have to rush home to make sure that his dinner is prepared properly and the house is in proper order.
21314
I'm a military spouse and have to deal with that myself.  Of course, number one, don't fill your hours talking to or spending time alone with someone of the opposite sex.  That will make it too easy to at least have an "emotional" affair, if not slip into a physical one.  But try writing letters and e-mails to your spouse, bettering yourself while he/she is gone (working out, learning to cook, joining a club or group, volunteering, taking a second job, reading, painting, restoring furniture, taking an evening or online class, etc.).  I try to make sure my focus while my husband is away is on what I will do better when he's back - don't lose the focus on the spouse, or that will make it harder! - and on staying busy so I don't have time to just sit and miss him.  Hope this helps.
980077
Having been in for 20 years and deployed many times, I can honsetly say that it has to be harder to be left !!  While I was deployed I usualy was kept occupied on the mission at hand, worrying about my soldiers etc...    My wife on the other hand though  had to keep our Household running,  all the bills had to be paid, the kids school and after school activities needed to be met (Taken to and from, all the practices, all the games) etc...  Our household still had to run and she was the one who did it and she had to do it alone most of the times.  Yes the FRG was there to assist and the friends were there to assist also but it was all on her shoulders to keep our household up and running.   I have always said that the role of the Military Spouse has never been properly addressed.  A Good Military Spouse is a rare gem and one that needs to be kept and appreciated (Something that Military Members need to keep in mind).  I thank God for my wife who dealt with the military during our service and all of the deployments.  \n\nThe Military Spouse   \n\nWhen the good Lord was creating military spouses, He was into His sixth day of overtime. \nAn Angel appeared and said, "You're having a lot of trouble on this one. What's wrong with the standard model?" \nThe Lord replied, "Have you ever seen the regulations? It has to be completely independent, must be sponsored to get on base, have the qualities of both mother and father during deployments; Be a perfect hostess to four or 40, handle emergencies without military orders, cope with the flu and move around the world, have a kiss that cures anything from a child's torn valentine to a soldier's weary day, have the patience of a saint when waiting for the unit to return stateside, and have six pairs of soft hands."\nThe Angel shook her head slowly and said, "Six pair of hands? No way!" \nAnd the Lord answered, "Don't worry. We'll make other military spouses to help. Besides, it's not the hands that are causing the problem - it's the heart. It must swell with pride, sustain the ache of separation, beat soundly when it's too tired to do so, be large enough to say 'I understand' when it doesn't, and say 'I love you,' regardless." \n"Lord," said the Angel, touching his sleeve gently, "go to bed. You can finish that tomorrow." \n"I can't," said the Lord. "I'm too close to creating something unique. Already I have one who can heal itself when sick, feed unexpected guests who are stuck in the area due to bad weather, and wave goodbye to its spouse from a pier or runway and understand it's important to the country that the spouse leave." \nThe Angel circled the model of the military spouse very slowly. "It's too soft," she sighed. \n"But tough," the Lord said excitedly. "You cannot imagine what this being can do or endure!" \n"Can it think?" the Angel asked. \n"Can it think? It can convert 1400 to 2 p.m.!" the Lord said. \nFinally, the Angel bent over and ran her finger across the cheek. "There's a leak," she pronounced. "I told you that you were trying to put too much into this model." \n"It's not a leak," said the Lord. "It's a tear." \n"What's it for?" asked the Angel. \n"It's for joy, sadness, pain, loneliness and pride," the Lord said. \n"You're a genius," said the Angel. \nThe Lord looked somber and said, "I didn't put it there." \n~Author Unknown
365846
Ah, yes... I've dated an Army guy and later a Navy guy.\n\nIt's a common situation, but it can work. When they are away, they are surrounded by mostly other guys. If he has a pic of you, he'll probably post it up and brag to the guys.\n\nI am confident it can work, if you have a strong relationship to start with. If you love each other and stay faithful, it can most definately work.
1121078
My hubby was deployed for a year and I know how hard it is.  What got me through it was getting a full time job that allowed me to take his phone calls during work hours, and sending alot of email and packages.  Just keep in mind that he will come home safely and make sure you have a good support group at home for you.  If you stay strong and supportive it will help him more than you will ever know.  Even though you aren't married you can also call the FRG (Family Readiness Group) that will be set up.  Also if at all possible try and go to see him off.  It'll be good for you to meet some of the women in the FRG and you might get to know a few you really connect with.  If you want to talk or have any questions feel free to email me and I will try to help.\nAlso, from being a military spouse for 4 years, don't worry about the deployment thing until he actually has the orders.  In the military, alot of rumors are spread around (my husband was originally suppose to go a year before he was actually deployed) so don't worry until he has the orders.  Hope this helps.
289898
my husband is an ex marine, granted we did not date while he was a marine, that was years ago, but our marriage works and he is still a marine at heart!  A relationship with anyone in the military is always going to be hard because of deployment, it depends on the inner person, on wether the relationship will work.  You have to be strong enough to deal with separation, and strong enough to have faith that the one you love is faithful.  Good luck, mrswayne4
749431
Honestly it does get easier. You get used to them coming and going for training but the deployment can be really rough at times. Whenever my husband is gone for more than a few days I just make sure that I have a day where I totally pamper myself. It relieves stress and makes it easier to face the next day and makes me look better to boot.And when he deploys make sure you write and send packages alot. It's very good for his morale and will make you feel better because you are doing something for him. As far as living without your best friend everyday...well I learned to not look at it that way. If I did I'd drive myself nuts. I look at it more like he's just at work and I'll see him when he gets home. It's amazing the way you learn to trick yourself so that you can adjust. Hang in there! You'll adjust to it! ;-)
753245
Sounds like at least one of you is afraid of being left. Or maybe you don't want to hurt each other by making a commitment and then leaving, so you just refrain from making a commitment... and you practice leaving.  Girl, you should only practice what you want to be good at !\n\nIn many parts of the world marriages are arranged. In other words, the sex is the first part of the relationship, and over time the couple can learn to know & love each other. \n\nI left my family & moved from New England to Minnesota, where my husband's family all live. It was a couple years of culture shock, but we're still together after almost 23 years of marriage.\n\nDo you trust him? Are you willing to trust ANYone?  If he changes, will you stay with him? (like, loss of health, financial worries causing depression, etc)... in my experience, Air Force fellows are top quality. Yes, the military changes a person -- military people  have been forcibly changed, so they can do their jobs & survive; that's not a bad thing, it's just a factor to consider.\nMotherhood changes a person, too.  Not all changes are permanent, but they're not all predictable either. That's where the trust comes in. Trust isn't a feeling; it's a decision.\n\nHe might have a need to be "at home" (in his case, it's Ohio); home is, by definition, where we feel safe.  Can you make your home somewhere other than Washington? I did. I used to live in rural Tacoma. I know how beautiful it is there. But family circumstances required I move, and I learned to appreciate New England. It took me 2 years, but I did it.\n\nMy recommendation? Meet his family.  (Wonderful guys usually come from nice families, so I bet they're nice). And marry him.
872991
My best advice is to keep talking to your husband.  Focus on your feelings, but try not to be too harsh with him - too judgmental or controlling.  It doesn't work in the long run.  And while he's gone, it's going to be difficult to rebuild trust - counseling is necessary - there are a lot of steps to go through which probably can't be done while he's deployed.    \n\nBut, in the meantime, it's important that you feel understood.  If you have to, tell your husband that talking about it is part of the healing process, and that you'll probably bring the issue up more often than he likes.  And if he wants to help, the best thing he can do right now is listen and acknowledge your feelings.  \nAnd it doesn't hurt to read as much as you can about recovering from infidelity.  A good starting place is http://cheatingandinfidelity.com/\n\nHope this helps.
466948
I don't think so because you don't know what, or who that person is doing while he's out of town. If you want him to be faithful, i think u should stick with someone close by.
198455
My wife is deployed. It' a little different for a husband most of the support groups in my area say they are for wifes. It's lonely not to maention we have 2 small girls so It's also scary knowing that I am all they have for now. I just write or E-mail daily and count the weeks till Oct. when she gets home.
292186
girl i know exactly how you feel!!!! ive been married 10years and very lonely... dont get discouraged!!! alot of women may have alot of male companions but ask yourself ARE THEY QUALITY MALE COMPANIONS. ive thought about leaving my husband many times, not for any other reason except we have no quality time together.... i stay because i dont want to CATCH anything, if you know what i mean... you can go have fun with friends and eventually youll  find someone. dont go sleeping around either.. ok..
466018
it depends on you, as a former Navy man i can tell you that it's not easy when the husband/boyfriend is deployed for months at a time, i've also seen the cheating on both ends (her at home and him in the field).....your relationship has to be strong or it's not going to work, and even then there is always a chance that one of you will stray when the strain gets to be unbearable
344145
Hmmm...I can not advocate that cheating on your husband no matter what the circustances are is right because if you are unhappy you at least owe it to him to voice your emotions and to move on. Just because you don't have a good relationship does not mean that his feelings should be neglected just to satisfy your own. Since you two have been together for quite some time don't you think that you owe him that much to be honest? You say that he treats you badly and that you are unhappy but I'm sorry that doesn't justify your cheating in anyway especially considering that you have no children involved that might cause you to be stuck in staying. As for the guy that you are seeing now, maybe you are in love and perhaps a future with him will be great but you are more or less in that fairytale stage of a relationship where they can do no wrong and this will fade. If this is something that you honestly feel is worth pursuing in order to make yourself happy then go for it by all means. Just remember that your happiness does not need to be based on a man and that you can find it yourself no matter what the outcome. I think that the betrayal and hurt is going to be worst for your husband who has no idea of what is about to surface and that for you it might be hard but that you'll make it since you have realized that this marriage is no longer what you want. I'm in no way trying to put you down or belittle you for your actions because it happens to the best of us since we are all only human but I would definitely consider your situation a little further and make sure that this guy just doesn't look like a better option because you dont really have the repsonsbilities and obligations that you share with your husband. There are no stings attached at this point with this new guy so it makes it all light-hearted and fun and if you do both embark on a relationship (especially a long distance one) there will be difficulties that will eventually come along. I would suggest taking some time out for yourself once you get a divorce and not rush into anything too quickly. I think that you need to hash out somethings with yourself instead of seeking comfort from a man that is merely supplying what is lacking in ur current relationship. Obviously if you decided to get married to your spouse, these feelings at one point or another were there with him and look at what has become of that. I think you need to just really spend some time with yourself and getting to reaquainted with your independent single self before finding an identity in someone else. I'm sure you are a good person and I hope that whatever choice you make that you will find the happiness that you seek. Just remember the feeling of everyone else involved and don't let your heart do all of the thinking for you during a time when you need to use your head. Best of luck to you:)
86271
This is probably not what you want to hear, but let it go. Don't sweat the small stuff and everything is small stuff. The freind doesnt sound like much of a friend. You might have to let your wife find that out by herself. Also Good for you for not breaking up with you wife/girlfreind when you where called to duty.  I saw it happen so many times, before a deployment. So many broken hearts :(