sex problems in my marriage - is there hope??
915831
I suggest marriage counseling. Your husband sounds like an immature 20 something that should not be married. Having a three-some is  one of the BIGGEST relationship killers and definitely does not belong in a marriage if one partner is not completely open to it. He sounds like because he is not getting his way he is punishing you the only way he knows how.\nSex is supposed to play an important role in committed relationships because of the intimacy level. Sex is supposed to be something beautiful that two people who love each other share.... not something to invite others to participate in. (I feel there is a time and place for experimentation, however a marriage USUALLY isn't one of those places).\nI think his porn addiction is also a bit of a problem and he could be using a threesome as a way to deflect your attention from his real problem...his addiction to porn.\nIn my opinion, if you think your sex life is as big of a problem as it seems to me, and you want to work on your marriage, I think seeing a sex therapist with your husband (or at the very least a marriage counselor) would be your best course.\n\nDONT TAKE NO FOR AN ANSWER!!!!
1020440
I think that this is possible since sex has been proven to be a stress reliever. It also takes two people who are in love and have the ability to talk to each other. Now if by having sex this allows him to open up more to you than great! Hopefully you are doing the same with him too! If you both stay positive and talk to eachother then you will have very few issues within your marriage. My wife and I have been married for 11 years and she is my best friend, my confidant, my lover and my wife!\nGood question
6852
Hun, i know what you are going through, I have been there done that and get this, i am not even married....my fiancee and i have been living together for almost a year now, engaged for almost 2 and yes, the sex drive has gone from 100 to 0...for him, not for me, it's still strong as ever. when i asked he always told me he was tired or just wanted to cuddle or something like that, so yeah, i know how you feel. i am sad to report however that he was hiding something from me....his addiction to porn....he'd rather look at pics and vids than be with me...pretty low huh? well anyways, we are still together and trying to work through the issues and yes things are looking up....so just hang in there and hopefully things will start to get better!
69909
My husband and I have a pretty good sex life. It did go a little down hill when I was pregnant but that was because I didn't want anything. We are still young and have been married for almost 2 years, but we do have a baby and that sometimes changes peoples sex life, but ours is still GREAT!!! I still have that fire that I felt for him the first time we met. He also thinks that I am the most beautiful person in the world because I carried and gave birth to his child. If you want to keep sex in your marriage you have to keep love. I know that we might not have sex 3 times a day like we did when we first started dating, but 3-4 times a week is still very good. Sometimes it is more and when I am working my long weeks it can be less. If you are loosing sex in your marriage just find a way to get that spark back. If you are one of the few that looses your libido during pregnancy don't fret it will come back. I was a complete Nymph before hand so when I didn't want anything we both thought that was strange and I am not a nymph anymore but I STILL WANT TO MAKE LOVE TO MY HUSBAND. I just hope that I can say that in 20 years. Try things like porn or mild fantasies. Or even spice things up by really playing with each other. Just don't give into threesomes or if you are a man do not push them. My husband always wanted one until we met a couple who ended up divorced because of that fantasy. NEVER LET ANYONE ELSE IN YOUR MARRIAGE. That is a sure fire way to kill it. So if you are getting married enjoy the sex but make sure you let each other know when you want it and what makes it more special. Try to keep that spark going. I wish you luck. If you are already married I hope that you still do have that spark. If not try everything to get it back...
473280
Stay. There is sooo much you can do to improve sex. Maybe just talk to him, give him gentle hints. Maybe add some toys or videos. Maybe you both can learn alternate ways to please each other. Go on line, maybe Dr. Ruth has a website that can be helpful.
100733
I've been married 6 years and we have sex daily.  It's different for everybody and it really depends on things like your individual sex drives, your energy level, the level of importance you put on sex, your sexual communication, etc.  If you're having an amount of sex that is satisfactory to both of you, then don't worry about what is "normal" and just go with what feels right for the two of you.  If, however, the frequency with which you have sex is not satisfactory to one or the other of you, talk about it.  Find out what the problem is.  Don't just assume that the sex goes away once you get married.  We made that mistake once and we won't make it again.  Best of luck to you and your spouse!
1142293
Yes. I've heard from personal stories. Everybody's different. He may be one with low sex drive, or yours higher. Could even be psycological issues, though I don't think that is usually the case. Happy bed time!
461533
NO. not at all. First of all, I would like to congratulate you two. You're a match made in heaven. Basically, the bible states that sex is a blessing given to married couples. If you're just living together and not having sex, that's absolutely perfect. It's the most exciting thing you can have once you get married. But if you guys are married but not having sex... then there really is a problem behind that. Try talking to your partner about that.
233898
Hey I don't really have advice for you as you know from answering my question I have marital problems. BUT.... We did get this book called Rekindling the Romance by a husband and wife team Dennis and Barbara Rainy. It's a real eye opener it is Christian based and I 100% am a believer that the only way to be truly happy in all areas of your lfe is to live by the Bible. Do what it says. Go to church live your life for God. The problem my hubby and I had with this book is how to rekindle something that was never there? I was or I think in love with him at one time but he was always an a** and finally I just decided to deal with now he's different and he regrets everything he has done. Maybe you can help with this one. How do I get over the past? I know I need to get my life right with God that would help 100%. But anyways I am rambling Hope this helps. The link I am gonna leave is the website where you can get this book Click on online store and do a search for the title. I also encourage you check out the info they have I don't know where you live but you should see if they have their radio station near you it really helps me!
323163
Try new things!!!  Anything outside whatever.  Do spontaneous things men like that.  Such as giving him a BJ while he's driving or watching TV.  Just drop drawers whenever.  Thats how my wife keeps me going spontaneous acts of sex that come from nowhere.  Hope this helps.
321146
You can indeed remain wihout sex, it never killed anyone, not in the short term anyway. Maybe you need to seriously consider finding a wife rather than looking for a less committed type of coupling. I'm sure a lot of your issues have to do with culture, so you should respect that culture and stay within the bounds of its mores. You will encounter a lot less anxiety if you do.
202767
As i understand your questions, u r saing that you hadnt the disorder before your marriage.\nIf that is true, and you dont have any medical conditions that can have an effect on your sexual functioning (diabetes, hipertension, some weird uncommon neurological diseases), and you dont do drugs (legal or ilegal) It is a psychological problem. How is your partner taking it? is your partner supportive? You can buy a self help book called "the premature ejaculation" by Helen Singer Kaplan, its quite old but it has some great sex-cersises for the condition. \nWas the PE first or second? if u began with the PE, by the time you overcome it the ED with recede too. \nViagra seems to be a good option, but it will only help u with the ED. If u plan to use it consult your physician first.\nIf the book doesnt work, find a sex therapist, it will help.\nGood luck
527232
Wow!  That's a tough spot to be in.  Now, you're probably not going to like what I have to say but I wouldn't be doing you any favors if I sugar-coated it so here goes:  \n\nI would suggest you take her to a sexual health therapist.  A good therapist will have special training to help her through this.  You wife has nothing to be ashamed of and nothing to be embarassed about.  Pain during sex is very common and a good therapist will help her work out just how much of this is psychological and how much is actually physical.  \n\nIf I were you, I wouldn't even sort of suggest that it's "all in your head" to her but, well, you probably already knew that, right?\n\nGood Luck!
830287
I wish my hubby had a higher libido...after having five kids and being married for several years our love life has gotten boring and his sex drive has gone down. We are always paying attention to the kids and dealing with other things to even begin thinking about intimacy. \n\nI would love it if I actually had to worry about tuning myself up to meet his needs! It would make me feel more desirable...
809196
I know how you feel. I have / is going through something similar to your experience. I married young, I wasn't a very religious person neither was my husband at that time. As months went by he started to get more religious and more involved with our church and he started dictating the way I should dress and the way I should act. Forcing me to do many things in the name of religion that I hated.. subsequently, because of this I started slacking of on my religious duties.. I know it is wrong but he made me hate the religion and everything that has to do with it. Religion stops at the bedroom door.. God did not dictate what you can and what you cant do with your wife/husband . It's bringing pleasure to the person you love and in doing so you are being a good person. Trying a different position or trying something new is not sacrilegious. The problem is.. you have wonderful sex with your lover, but that is scars .. and you are left in the meanwhile with an unwilling partner and many temptations.. I say don't get tempted to have another affair.. you will only complicate your life with the lies, hiding and sneaking. And believe me it will only make you despise your husband more and you feel more frustrated with the relationship. Try to talk to hubby again.. explain to him the severity of the lack of passion. If that doesn't work my advice is, consider your options.. are you willing to scarifies the marriage and your position in the society to fulfill your sexual desires or can you find means of self satisfaction..an uncomplicated affair ? You might be a better person because you won't feel as guilty as you do right now and have some peace with your self and with God... Best of Luck...
809991
although sex is pleasurable....continue to do what you wanna do! if you guys are comfortable without sex then so be it! just continue being happy in your marriage! don't let other people tell you about YOUR marriage! YOU and HIM are married not everyone else, so their comments on YOUR MARRIAGE shouldn't matter.
470152
Men and women have completely different needs when it comes to sex, usually. No, you can't change her. But there may be a deep seated reason she is the way she is. Perhaps something she hasn't shared with you or some fear.\n\nIf it is that troublesome for you, see a sex therapist or start marriage counseling.