What is your favorite light bulb joke?
926613
How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?\n6...1 to screw it in and 5 to brag to about it.
1014097
OMG that is so funny i just laughed out loud...it is OH SAY CAN YOU SEE...by the dawn's early light....thanks for the laugh..\n\nPS I was tempted to tell you Jose Cuevero lol
323395
Ha Ha Ha Ha....Good joke..lol
335311
A husband is at home watching a football game when his wife\n interrupts, " Honey, could you fix the light in the hallway? It's\n been flickering for weeks now." He looks at her and says angrily,\n "Fix the light? Now? Does it look like I have a G.E. logo printed on my\n forehead? I don't think so."\n Well then, could you fix the fridge door? It won't close right." To\nwhich he replied, "Fix the fridge door? Does it look like I have\n Westinghouse written on my forehead? I don't think so".\n "Fine," she says, "Then could you at least fix the steps to the front\n door? They're about to break." "I'm not a damn carpenter and I don't\n want to fix the steps," he says. "Does it look like I have Ace\n Hardware written on my forehead? I don't think so. I've had\n enough of you. I'm going to the bar!!!"\n So he goes to the bar and drinks for a couple hours. He starts to\n feel guilty about how he treated his wife, and decides to go home and\n help out. As he walks into the house, he notices the steps are already\n fixed. As he enters the house, he sees the hall light is working. As\n he goes to get another beer, he notices the fridge door is fixed.\n "Honey, how'd this all get fixed?"\n She said, "Well, when you left, I sat outside and cried. Just then a\n nice young man asked me what was wrong, and I told him. He offered\n to do all the repairs, and all I had to do was either go to bed with\n him or bake him a cake."\nHe said, "So, what kind of cake did you bake him?"\n She replied, ""Hello............. Do you see Sara Lee baker written on my\nforehead?"
910889
OMG this joke is one of my favorites!!! Got any more?
1181265
Rofl...\n\nheres a joke for you...\n\nA young woman buys a mirror at an antique shop, and hangs it on her bathroom door. One evening, while getting undressed, she playfully says "Mirror, mirror, on my door, make my bustline forty four".\n\nInstantly, there is a brilliant flash of light, and her breasts grow to enormous proportions. Excitedly, she runs to tell her husband what happened, and in minutes they both return.\n\nThis time the husband crosses his fingers and says "Mirror mirror on the door, make my penis touch the floor!".\n\nAgain, there's a bright flash... and then his legs fall off!
836768
OMG  this is one of the funniest ones ive heard.  ROFL  Im gonna have to use this one :)
18886
Lets  name the Switches as "A","B","C".\n\nTurn the switch "A" on. Switch it iff\nTurn the switch "B" on.\nOpen the door..\n\nIf the bulb is glowing, the switch "B" is the answer.\nIf not, then touch the bulb. If it is hot, "A" is correct switch else "C" is the answer.\n\n\nI think I've got this one correct.
724546
Great Joke!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
23157
Sometimes in the dark you see what you want.\n\nthats my favorite one
528931
A burglar broke into a house one night. He shone his flashlight around, looking for valuables, and when he picked up a CD player to place in his sack, a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark saying, "Jesus is watching you".\n\nHe nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off and froze. When he heard nothing more after a bit, he shook his head, promised himself a vacation after the next big score, then clicked the light back on and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he heard, "Jesus is watching you. " Totally rattled, he shone his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot.\n\n"Did you say that?" He hissed at the parrot.\n\n"Yes," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you. "The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who do you think you are any way?"\n\n"Moses," Replied the bird.\n\n"Moses" the burglar laughed.\n\n"What kind of stupid people would name a parrot 'Moses'?"\n\nThe bird promptly answered: "The same kind of people that would name a Rottweiler 'Jesus'!
452212
What has the world come to? People don't seem to make good clean jokes any more (keyword: good)! Sheesh...\n\nHere's one:\n\nA pregnant woman gets into a car accident and falls into a deep coma. Asleep for nearly 6 months, she wakes up and sees that she is no longer pregnant. Frantically, she asks the doctor about her baby. \n\nThe doctor replies, "Ma'am, you had twins! A boy and a girl. The babies are fine. Your brother came in and named them." \n\nThe woman thinks to herself, "Oh no, not my brother -- he's an idiot!" \n\nExpecting the worst, she asks the doctor, "Well, what's the girl's name?" \n\n"Denise," the doctor says. \n\nThe new mother thinks, "Wow, that's not a bad name! Guess I was wrong about my brother. I like Denise!" \n\nThen she asks the doctor, "What's the boy's name?" \n\nThe doctor replies, "DeNephew" \n\n:o)
906688
Lmao hey great joke lol
257903
My favorite dumb blonde joke:\n\nDumb blonde on a 4 engine plane hears the captian say "folks we have one engine out, there is going to be a 1 hour delay"...a few moments later he comes across again "engine 2 is out, that's going to be another hour delay"...they fly on for a couple more hours again the captian comes across "engine 3 is out, 1 more hour delay"...the dumb blonde jumps up and says "Damn, hope engine 4 doesn't go out, if it does, we're gonna be up here allllll day"
108947
I have two: I love the second one.\nJoke #1\nA blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender, "Wanna hear a blonde joke?"\n\nIn a hushed voice, the guy next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, you should know something."\n\nOur bartender IS blonde, the bouncer is blonde. I'm a 6' tall, 200 lb black belt. The guy sitting next to me is 6'2", weighs 225, and he's a rugby player. The fella to your right is 6'5" pushing 300 and he's a wrestler. Each one of US is blonde. Think about it, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?"\n\nThe blind guy says, "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."\n-----------\n Joke #2\nTwo women are new arrivals at the pearly gates and are\n comparing stories on how they died.\n\n 1st woman: I froze to death.\n\n 2nd woman: How horrible!\n\n 1st woman: It wasn't so bad. After I quit shaking from the\n cold, I began to get warm and sleepy, and finally died a\n peaceful death. What about you?\n\n 2nd woman: I died of a massive heart attack. I suspected\n that my husband was cheating, so I came home early to\n catch him in the act. But instead, I found him all by\n himself in the den watching TV.\n\n 1st woman: So what happened?\n\n 2nd woman: I was so sure there was another woman there\n somewhere that I started running all over the house\n looking. I ran up into the attic and searched, and down\n into the basement. Then I went through every closet and\n checked under all the beds. I kept this up until I had\n looked everywhere, and finally I became so exhausted that\n I just keeled over with a heart attack and died!\n\n 1st woman: Too bad you didn't look in the freezer. We'd\n both still be alive.
751079
a light that makes you glow in the dark, buy it at any hardware store\n\n:> peace\n.
180673
101? I ONLY HAVE MY BEST 3 JOKES...HOPE IT DOESN'T OFFEND U\n\n1\n\nFresh from her shower, a woman stands in front of the mirror complaining to her husband that her breasts are too small.\n\nInstead of characteristically telling her it's not so, the husband uncharacteristically comes up with a suggestion. "If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet paper and rub it between your breasts for a few seconds."\n\nWilling to try anything, the wife fetches a piece of toilet paper and stands in front of the mirror, rubbing it between her breasts.\n\n"How long will this take?" she asks.\n\n"They'll grow larger over a period of years," he replies.\n\nThe wife stops. "Why do you think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between my breasts everyday will make my breasts grow over the years?"\n\n"Worked for your butt, didn't it?"\n\nHe lived. And with a great deal of therapy, may even walk again..\n\n\n2\n\nMan driving down road.\nWoman driving up same road\nThey pass each other\nWoman yells out her window, "PIG!"\nMan yells out his window, "B.I.T.C.H!"\nMan rounds next curve\nCrashes into a huge pig in middle of road.\n\nThought For The Day : If only men would listen. \n\n\n3\n\nThe mother-in-law stopped unexpectedly by the recently married couple's \nhouse. She rang the doorbell and stepped into the house. She saw her \ndaughter-in-law standing naked by the door.\n\n"What are you doing?" she asked.\n\n"I'm waiting for my husband to come home from work," the \ndaughter-in-law \nanswered.\n\n"But you're naked!" the mother-in-law exclaimed.\n\n"This is my love dress," the daughter-in-law explained.\n\n"Love dress? But you're naked!"\n\n"My husband loves me to wear this dress! It makes him happy and it \nmakes me \nhappy. I would appreciate it if you would leave because he will be home \nfrom \nwork any minute."\n\nThe mother-in-law was tired of all this romantic talk and left. On the \nway \nhome she thought about the love dress. When she got home she undressed, \nshowered, put on her best perfume and waited by the front door. Finally \nher \nhusband came home. He walked in and saw her standing naked by the door.\n\n"What are you doing?" he asked.\n\n"This is my love dress" she replied.\n\n"Needs ironing." he said.\n\nHEHE>>HAVE FUN 2 YA GUYZ READING