Christians:  Snarkiest thing ever said to you was?
921729
ohhh yea!   snarky...\n\nI believe it sounded something like...\n\n"I really appreciate your opinion, BUT... clearly you haven't read the bible."
819346
Not only have I received many death threats, but the most graphic told how I would have my throat slashed with a 12 inch knife. And yes, he professed to be a Christian, after calling me a demon, the anti-christ, and the leader of the R+S atheists.\n\nI don't hold his lunacy against Christians though. He's just a troll.
781371
Hahah\nKids say the darnedest things.  :)
373675
Oh some people make me so mad. I live in southern Alabama and religion is thrown in my face every day, and I know that I am not a perfect person. I have faults just like EVERYBODY else. But what right does the FAT preacher have to preach to me or my family that we are so WRONG when GLUTTONY is VERY much a SIN. GREED is a SIN too as the FAT preacher drives his NEW car (cause he's too fat to walk very far) and talk on his NEW cell phone and preaches to us that we are so wrong..... OOH I get so worked up on some religious things. I need to quit now or I will p*ssed about this all day long.
104383
Yielding rocks! My favourite answer was this one...\n\nQuestion:\n\nIs ************ a sin? If yes, where in the Bible?\n\nYieldings Answer:\n\nThe bible says; \n\nThou shalt not ********** with a *********, for thou art a ************ if thou dost. \nLet all ye who ************ be smote with *********** for the ********** is thy ********* and therefore thy *********** will shrivel up and drop off.\nShould thou ************ with a ************ up your ***********, then the ************* shall be thy ***********, and the *********** will be like to that of the ************ on the Jerry Springer show.\n\nROFL!!!! That's just TOO funny!!!
669693
silly Christians..that is the dumbest thing i ever heard of
607089
O.k..\nLast week my sister got married and I was her bridesmaid...\nI dont know whether it was the cappucino or not but I Pooted during the blessing prayer!!..lol\nNo... Im not going to lie I farted and it was sooo loud because it was quiet then... the smell started to spread and the preacher was making twisted faces and stuff... and my BIL was laughing my sister was too...\nand someone was taping it for my mom so the next day she was showing it to people who didnt get to see it and they were laughin because the fart was audible... I was soo embaressed... the thought still makes me cringe n wanna cry...
625490
"One time I fell off my bike and broke my ability to internally monologue"\n"Will you stop putting your labels on me?!"\n"What a tumultuous question!"\n\nthis was almost fun...
629161
That scathing, unauthorized biography of me.\n\nI bet you thought I was going to say "The Bible," huh?
570023
agrees wholeheartedly with gravesidian. and the same thing happened to me. christian by birth Pagan by choice. Christians, it is needless to say, utterly detest each other. They slander each other constantly with the vilest forms of abuse and cannot come to any sort of agreement in their teaching. Each sect brands its own, fills the head of its own with deceitful nonsense, and makes perfect little pigs of those it wins over to its side."
978457
hypocrite comes to mine as well.  I constantly have someone telling me you do this and this wrong, but then i see them doing it, because they go to church on Sunday that makes it all right.
78354
I have alot!!\n\nThis guy was painting a tall buliding next to a church. He droped the brush, said "son of a b***h", climbed down the ladder, got the brush, then climbed back up and continued painting. This happened a few more times and everytime he said "son of a b***h". Finally the preacher came out and said "next time you drop the brush say praise the lord". So he dropped the brush, said "praise the lord", the brush floated back up to him and the preacher said 'son of a b***h"\n\n\nWhy is halloween Micheal Jackson's favorite holiday?\nFree Delivery\n\n\nA Cowboy walking into a bar and ordered a coke. He took a drink and said "this tastes funny". So the bartender got him a new one. And he said "thats better" then the bartender said\n"Me Indian, Me play joke, Me go pee-pee in your coke"\nThen the cowboy said "Me cowboy, Me run fast, Me shoot bullet up your A$$"\n\nThis next one I heard on a stand-up comedy show...\n"Drinking and Driving is fun. But getting in a wreak isn't. I was with my friends driving and we hit something. I don't know what it was, but when I woke up I was in a tree, the car was upside down in a ditch and there was a cop there"\n\nCop-Who was driving?\nMan-It wasn't me cause that's not my parking, I park on the tires.\n\nCop-I am trying to figure out who was driving.\nMan-I'm trying to figure out how I got in this tree.\n\nCop-Have you been drinking and driving.\nMan-No, I was f***ed up before I got in the car.\n\nCop-The way you are acting I think I need to give you a drug test.'\nMan- Go ahead, ask me anything. I have been doing drugs for years.\nCop-Do you have a drug problem?\nMan-No, I have planty of weed at home.\n\n\nThis one is fun to do to your friends...lol\nPerson 1- Did you blow bubbles as a kid?\nPerson 2-Yes\nPerson 1-Well, he's back in town and wants you number.\nBoth- lol lmao
819589
Christians have many, many warped and bizarre answers to the ludicrous writings in The Bible. They always amuse me.
666276
Oh boy, I happened to have a few. My first one was when I was about eight or nine. I was very best friends with Mary. Well, Mary's family had to go to church every single Sunday. This one particular Sunday I had the worst case of gas I have ever felt!! And of course, you can probably guess the rest, but I'll tell anyways. During a prayer; there was dead silence, you could have heard a pin drop, I let one go, and as you know pews in a church are made out of wood. That makes it echo like you wouldn't believe! Well, the whole church turned around and looked right at me, my best friend Mary, and her sister who were trying so hard not to laugh,it was obvious who did it. The Mom was horrified and kept telling us to shhh, but every time she did, we'd laugh harder. Very embarrassing...\nAnother brilliant move was; at a party. A grown up party as I seen it, I was 17 and the average age at this party was hmm..around 21 or so, so I felt like a big girl!! Well, everyone was out on the deck. I was drunk (when wasn't I?) and wanted to go out on the deck with all the "big girls". So what did I do? The doors going out to the deck were glass, I thought the door was open, everyone was looking although to this day I don't know why, and I, looking cool with my beer, smiling, walked smack dab into that window falling on my bum, making everyone laugh hysterically! Another very embarrassing. But before I go, I have to tell you ONE more. THis time I was a bit older, working at a bar helping out with my college funds. I was about 26, it was busy, PLUS this bar had two sliding glass doors going out to the deck in this bar. Now, I was carrying food, and about 15 beer on one tray. I knew everyone was looking at me, seeing if I would drop a beer. I knew I wouldn't as I was a good bartender, but little did I know, that my boss changed the door that was open, and closed that one, but opened the other one. Needless to say, she was just yelling out to me to "be carefu......." when SMACK! The tray I was carrying got pushed into ME, the beer all fell, the food was smushed right into my clothes, and the bar was packed!!! It took all of my being not to run out and never ever come back, but I knew I couldn't do that. So, I just left for a minute, trying to clean up my clothes, and just carried on. I then looked to make sure what sliding door was open and which wasn't. Everyone was still kinda snickering, so I told them "ok..laugh and get it out of your system!!" Which they did, but whenever I waited on them, they would all say things like "oh boy, look out...here she comes again"..I didn't live that one down for YEARS! So, there ya go. THREE embarrassing moments, not just one! Thanks for asking! lol.\nGOOD LUCK AND GOD BLESS!!
1133779
Does this one count?\n\nTwo kids are in Sunday School.  A girl who keeps falling asleep sits next to a boy with his pen out. The teacher asks, "Who created heaven and earth?" the boy pokes the girl in the side with his pen. "God almighty!" yells the girl. "Very good!" says the teacher. The girl starts to snooze off again, the teacher asks, "Who died for our sins?" the boy pokes her with his pen again, "Jesus Christ!" yelled the girl. "Very good." The girl goes off to sleep again, and the teacher asks, "What did Eve say to Adam after having their 26th kid?" the boy pokes her with the pen again, and the girl yells, "If you put that thing into me one more time, I swear I'll break it in half!" The teacher fainted.
465496
what the hell did u say?
727178
Christianity is stupid. Christianity is stupid.\nChristianity's stupid. Christianity is stupid.\nChristianity is stupid. Christianity is stupid.\nChristianity's stupid. Christianity is stupid.\nCommunism is good. Communism is good.\nCommunism is good. Communism is good.\n(Did you hear that?)\nGive up.\n(Did you hear that?)\nGive up. Give up. Giv\ne up! Give up!\nChristianity is stupid. Christianity is stupid.\nChristianity's stupid. Christianity is stupid.\nGive up. Give up. Give up.\n(Communism is good.)\n(Communism is good.)\nChristianity's stupid.\n(Communism is good.)\netc