help me out with ideas for killing the routine in my relationship...?
927087
much about life is routine and it sounds like you have a very full plate....hope that he is in this for the long haul and if he is then he will understand the pressures you are under and try to make things easier for you....try making dates for just the two of you....doesn't have to be expensive or for long periods of time but quality time that only the two of you share.  Make the very most of the time you do have together and shake up the routine a little....climb in the shower with him in the morning....put a love note in his coat pocket....send him a card in the mail telling him how much you love and appreciate him....have a picnic in the back yard instead of lunch or dinner in the house....think of some fun spontaneous things that you can do to spice it up a bit and make the routine feel less difficult...good luck
876133
And where does one buy gingernut body wash?  Sounds heavenly.....\n\nAm I allowed to flash said husband/boyfriend instead of cover up?  And getting dressed for an hour and a half?  Lounging nekked on the bed for half an hour sounds better to me!\n\nShower like a Man.\n\nGet in.\n\nShampoo hair on head.  \n\nWash body parts with soap.\n\nGet distracted and jerk off.\n\nFinish washing.\n\nCondition hair everywhere.\n\nUse ALL hot water in shortest time possible.\n\nGet out.  \n\nShave.\n\nLeave bathroom in a horrid mess.  The little woman will clean it up anyway.
553358
This is what I did when I was married to a slob.  Take a gigantic trash bag and put everything in it.  Throw it out in the yard and see how long it take him to realize it's there.  When he asked hey honey where is my ____  just say you got tired of looking at it and threw it away.  Next, when he is asleep in bed at night, get out all your tampons and maxipads and throw them on the floor on his side of the bed.  This one really freaks them out.  Put all his dirty socks and underware inside his pillowcase so he can use them as a pillow.  Hide his real pillow.  Also, to get them to do their own laundry, get something new and really red to wash with his whites.  It turns everything pink and he willget tired of wearing pink unerwear in a hurry.
894526
After having our little girl, my boyfriend and I have a hard time getting private time together considering he has a full time job and I work part time. So we plan a day off together as a family day one week, then the next week we get a sitter, which is either his mom or my mom, and go out to eat or dance, or both. Also, I keep a small tote in my bathroom with tiny candles, massage oil, bath beads, ect.. for myself when i need to relax after my little girl goes to sleep. Maybe you could use one of your own for some night when the both of you are home and the kids are in bed, maybe just share a hot relaxing bath together? I hope these ideas help.
756001
I think you really need to have a heart-to-heart talk with your "significant other" on this issue. This may be the time to sort things out before it is too late. She is used to visiting any time she likes and as you know, old habits die hard. You have to be patient and accommodating.
925508
You sound like high maintenance. Do him a huge favor and leave him so he doesnt have to deal with your constant insecurities.
1148336
no not at all ur fun and hate routine that's good...solution: toss the routine.  meet fun people and do new things like if u usually go swimming, go to the mall if u usually have sleepovers during the sleepover, run around outside and play flashlight tag instead of sitting inside and painting toenails.  fun!
367825
I've been married for 3 years now, and let me tell you it has been hard at times.  My husband is very very compulsive about cleaning.  I however am the opposite.  He will come home from work and nag and complain NON STOP about everything about the house. When I do the dishes, he'll come in and yell at me because I'm not drying the right way, or I'm not stacking the right way.  We really had our breaking point when at 530am he was getting ready for work, and he took down the curtains because he wanted me to get a start on cleaning and making him breakfast.  Now I work full time too, and my alarm was set for 7am.  We had the biggest fight. I finally told him I couldn't take it anymore, he was bringing me down so much that I was starting to hate my self.  Just saying that too him killed him.  He had no idea that I was so unhappy.  After getting so much out he now makes an effort to make me feel better, he makes me breakfast in bed every Saturday.  And when he gets ready to complain or nag he holds back and simply offers the advice "take it or leave it"
641213
make pet names ..call them constantly... intrude on the guy time... change his ways... complain alot... lie about something... cheat on him... hmmm there could likely be a lot of ways
346623
This is one of the most difficult questions I have seen here. There are only a few ways to do this...do you have weekends together? Plan one weekend a month where mom (either, or alternating) agree to take care of the kid and GET OUT OF TOWN, at least get away to a Motel...sometime sleezy, sometimes nice. Leave the TV OFF. Concentrate on each other...talk, coo, pet, soothe, console, hold eachother, do things together that have NOTHING to do with the home...like sneaking out on a date, cram as much of eachother into this time as possible. During the week, a 10 minute quickie initiated by one or the other...always be responsive whether you feel like it or not..given the chance, even a tired body responds well, often better than an energetic one. And, it doesn't take sex to make for a passionate affair. And unexpected call, flowers for no reason, a kiss on the back of the neck. Show interest in each other's lives. Support eachother, avoid arguing ...takes work on both parts but it is well worth it. Love, romance, and union are not always about sex. He could watch the babies for an hour or so to let you take a long, relaxing bath by yourself ... alone time is necessary for a good relationship. Work, work, work is the only true way to make a relationship joyful and rewarding. Take when given, give when it will be taken...was all love to please our partner...show your partner that they please you, turn you on...leave nothing to guess on their part. Smile, laugh, and when you are so tired you cannot take another step, remember your other half is in the same boat. Be super considerate. YOu do not have time for fighting, for that takes time from positive, reinforcing love. Remember, the kids will grow faster than you can keep up with. Be united in your efforts to raise your children on a path that is nurturing, loving, with definate boundries you both agree on. A united front towards the kids provides no room for arguements. Pay the bills on time and no arguements will arise for the electricity being turned off. Phone, gas bills...someone has to pay them...make arrangements with your bank to pay these bills with online payment..takes very little time. Share duties for food  and prep whenever possible. The couple that works and plays together stays together..with common goals that are not obsessive. There must be time for play, as well as family duties. We all to often spend too much time in percieved duties at the expense of what really counts...the relationship. It would be greatly beneficial to have one of you get another job...one more conducive to more time together AND more time apart ... we all need personal space. Too often, in misguided romantic notions, we feel that we should be everything and all to our love...that never works. We both know that. With compromise and agreement, you will reach a great, healthy and workable balance in this life. Work for it after agreeing to it. Know that agreements will not always happen, but one or the other has to give now and then. We can only bend so much before we break. Do not let it come to that. I wish you the very best of love and luck in this. YOu deserve it and can keep it with firm resolve to put your lover's needs before yours...within reason. I do care.
724302
FIRST !  -Talk to hubby-if you value that relationship \nSecondly -  make arrangments for hubby to bowout during the course of the evening and check into a hotel. Don't make reservations , be spontaneous
53110
Every time he's spent away from you (even if it's 22 seconds), accuse him of cheating.\n\nNag. Works every time.\n\nInsist on watching Chick Flicks\n\nCook him a disgusting 54 course dinner.\n\nSay in a seductive manner "oooo it's hot in here" then turn on a fan and say "that's better"
280280
OMG! I'm so all over that! lmfao.. But if you aren't into waking up, how do you manage all of those other hobbies?
137395
My husband & I lived apart for a while and may have to do so again soon.  \n\nWe tried the following:\nPhone calls\nEmails\nDedicating a song at a local radio station to the other\nSending "local" things to each other\nVisiting as often as possible\nSnail mail with cologne and perfume on it to remind each other\nMaking each other CD's to listen to\n\nWe always knew where the other was (but went out with friends, etc- jealousy was not an issue), and kept up on the "little details" that you miss so much of when you're away.  We even had Thanksgiving dinner (made the same homestyle box meal w/ turkey in it at the same time) over the phone. We would rent the same movies, watch them the same night, then talk about it after. \n\nGood luck, and hang in there if he's worth it.
1138084
hmmm.......... i have been giving suggestion in this regard to a lot of people and i guess they liked it also...\nthe problem here is there is a monotonous life schedule which is going on..... you have a routine life and people do get bored out of their routine life.....\none thing i would suggest is stop bitching about each other.... this is the worst thing to do in a relationship.... ater all this, you two are together for 5 years means that there is something which is still there which is binding you two.... it can love, it can be lust......\ndo these to spice up your life.....\n1. give him a surprise party..... without any occasion\n2. always be a pleasant surprise for him.... keep him guessing what will be your next move... that will interest him...\n3. Perform a striptease in front of him... totally unexpected...\n4. for once, dont bitch back..... arguments leads to arguments......\neven though he does, you have to keep your calm, and try to love him, even though he might be busy bitching..... put your arm around him and kiss him on his lips.... the words come out.....\n5. don't hear whatever he says, when he is bitching.......\n6. give your love to him...... it can bind/heal/patch almost any kind of relationship.... it can cure the bitterness between you two......\ntake care and good luck girl
583446
NO NOT THERAPY. JUST SIT DOWN AND TALK ABOUT IT SERIOUSLY. IF HE NOT WILLING TO LISTEN AND DO BETTER. THEN MOVE ON. BUT THERE WAS SOMETHING BETWEEN YOU BOTH IN THE BEINGING SO TRY TO KEEP IT. MY HUSBAND DID SAME THING. ALL WONDERFUL BEFORE WE GOT MARRIED THEN ITS LIKE HE JUST QUIT. WELL I HAD ENOUGH SO I THOUGHT ID SPARK IT UP A BIT. I GOT TO WHERE WHEN I GET OUTTA TANNING BED OR SUCH THAT I SEND HIM A NAKED PICTURE OF ME. JUST TO FLIP HIM OUT. AND DAM GIRL IT WORKED. IT GOT TO WHERE HE WAS GLAD TO SEE ME IN AFTERNOONS. OF COURSE WE TALKED ABOUT EVERYTHING AND  I JUST LAYED IT ON THE LINE. BUT SINCE THEN HE HAS BEEN GREAT. WE LAUGH AND TALK MORE INSTEAD OF LETTING EVERYDAY STUFF DRAG US DOWN. KEEP TRYING BABY, IT WILL ALL SHAKE OUT GREAT. I PROMISE.
174229
you sound just like me. i'm trying to work things out but i know the end result will be me leaving. i just want to be able to say that i gave it my all and totally mean it. sometimes we just outgrow them. have you ever tried to start some sort of hobbie with each other or do a date night? maybe that will get something going for you. i tried that. my husband didnt even care to go through with any of it. he just agreed to it and never did it. i'm writing a book on my horrible marriage. as soon as i get enough crap for my book i'm out. its not worth it to stay.