How do you escape the negative energy your grumpy, aging parents have on your career and job search?
926565
You have a couple of options:\n1) Do like Lizzie Borden  (ax + 40 whacks = no more parental issues)\n2) Move out - hey, at age 35, you can get a place of your own)\n3) Realize your parents don't run your life, and just do what you darned well please whether they like it or not.\n\nGood luck.
700880
wherever you are, you might try to see if there is some kind of employment agency that sould help you find a job.  when you get into a funk its hard to pull yourself out of it, i know.  but keep your chin up, because things will get better.you could also try to learn the language in your area.  maybe you will meet someone who could help you.
723669
You did not tell your age.  Why expect your parents to support you?   If you are an adult, and you chose to break up with your husband, stand up as an adult and deal with it.\n\nYes, it is stressful.  Life is stressful.  It's hard.  I know because I've been there and was left with no income and two small children to support. I worked hard, cried sometimes, and raised them alone. You can survive this if I did!  :o)\n\nChin up and all that!  Hang in there!  It will get better.\n\nSit down with a piece of paper and figure out what you want to do with your life.  Set some goals and write out what you need to do to achieve those goals.  Focus on reaching them.  \n\nYou can go to college on government grants for example.  Look into it.  See what local colleges are available and what you might want to study.\n\nLook in to technical schools.\n\nDo something with your life.  That is your choice.  Not your ex's and not your parents.\n\nBest Wishes,\nSue
1032512
Wow, that’s really tough....I am glad to hear you have a plan!!\n\n12 years with the same organization looks great on a resume, especially since you were in management. Bravo!!\n\nWhen I am down I do all (or a combination of a few) of the following:\n-Listen to motivational CD's/Tapes. I always feel on top of the world after hearing a good speaker (I will list some personal favorites at the bottom of this message).\n-Play music that sooths and puts to rest my fears, I enjoy Yanni, Enya, Dido, The Cranberries and the like....all depends on personal taste.\n-Set my home (and every drawer in my home) into perfect order, throwing out extra items and give it a complete cleaning. I do this because when I get that next job or project I will be ready...no running around in the morning hunting for things while I am trying to get ready for work.\n-Go to a one day seminar or expo on a subject/event/skill that you find motivating. \n-Take a college course or go to a one day event at your local college. There are TONS of non-traditional students in classrooms today; I should know...I am one of them.\n-Begin a low impact, simple exercise plan. I do Pilates, take walks, ride my bike or just work in the yard....the fresh air is good for the mind (I do my best thinking and get my best ideas while outside)\n-Reading is good as well....read up on the current events in your field.\n-Polish up your resume, and write a few cover letters, you will need them. A good website to gains tons of advice from is monster.com\n\nThe whole goal of your "break" is to prepare yourself to do better and reach higher when you get that next job. This is no time to watch TV or bum around. Use your time wisely; put yourself into "ready-set-go" mode. \n\nYou will be A-OK, don’t worry.\n\nHere are the titles as promised:\n\n-Stop Screaming at the Microwave!!, how to connect your disconnected life-Mary LoVerde\n-Stand Up for Your Life-Cheryl Richardson\n-ReInventing Yourself-Steve Chandler (this one changed my world)\n-Lets Get Real, or Lets Not Play-Mahan Khalsa\n\nBe wise, good luck.
1085539
I have faced this problem. The lower your education and the higher your age, the tougher it is going to be. However, you must stay positive. Do not waste valuable time. If you can not find work doing what you do, then train for something else. Do not just sit around crying because you will be crying alone. The world does not care. Develope something to offer to somebody that wants it. That means you.
427150
That's a tough situation to be in and yes I do understand the anger and fustration, but as you said how would your suing the current employers look to future employers and plus you are still young and very qualified so why not try applying for another job maybe in the same area or even do something else parttime so that you can make the money to move back home. Hey I left a well paying job recently as I was promised a better paying job only to be told that they changed their minds and so here I am a university graduate working at a call centre making minimum wage. So sometimes when life hands you lemons hey make lemonade with it, you never know, there may be much better in store for you somewhere else and you will look back at this and just smile.
610838
My dad told me find a job you love and you'll never have to work a day in your life....\nWhy?? Because youre doing what you love to do!!\n\nGood Luck
490255
Join a health club or YWCA.  Some kind of group.  Its hard.  My kids are all grown and I don't work so I know its not easy.  But you have to get out even though you don't feel like it after a tiring day at work, so maybe try a Sat. morning or something.
183024
Try to be sympathetic.  Mothers always want the best for their children.  Part of being a mother is worrying and hoping her child's life will be filled with happiness and success.  This comes out of a deep and abiding love for you, not out of disrespect or uncaring.\n\nFor this love, you should be grateful.\n\nWith that said, it's clear your mother doesn't understand the value of your career choice.  If you try to address her fears--that DJ'ing cannot lead to success or happiness--she'll be more likely to agree with your choice.\n\nExplain why you came to your choice--your talents or interests.  Explain how this career will help you achieve long-term goals.  Will you DJ for your entire life?  Or is this a stepping stone to something bigger?  Let her know you have a plan so she doesn't have to worry!
534645
Why don't you go to a career counseling service, or something like Workforce, which is free, and do a survey which will show you areas you have strengths in, and what area of work you would best fit in. Make a list of all the things you would really like to do. \nAlso, why are you afraid of failing? Who in your life makes you feel fear if you DO fail? \nI went through this as well...turned out, after some soul searching, i realized that I needed my mother to validate my life choices. When i realized that, while i value her opinion, my choices are ultimately that, MY choices, and that each time you make a major life change people are going to give you crap, initially, and while you can respect and value their opinion, you certainly don't need it to make you feel like a whole person. Good luck to you!
1089431
At one time or another, parents are annoying - but then again - so are children.\n\nYou don't indicate why you are a loner, but I am concerned for you at age 27 that you seem just fine with being a loner and contuing to live in this existance...is it fulfilling for you?  \nDo you plan to live with your parents for the rest of their lives?\n\nIt sounds to me like your mother loves you - esp. when she is being overprotective - because if your mom didn't care, then she wouldn't be asking you too many questions, paying your bills, etc.\n\nIf you don't have any hobbies or things that you do outside your home, then you should try to develop outside interests - when your mother or even your father is driving you crazy, why not go to a movie, or simply get out of the house, get some breathing space and calm down?\n\nPeople who are close are often known for pushing buttons and since you and your parents are so close, you may both be guilty of pushing each other's buttons.\n\nBut I don't think you hate your parents - they simply get on your nerves - and that is very common.\n\nHopefully you will work out ways where your parents don't get to you quite as much as they do now.  Or maybe you are taking out your frustrations on them.
1113413
I went through this at about your age.  I also have a BBA.   You may or may not be suffering from depression.  Your unhappiness at work is quite common though.  Many people feel that way.  \n\nIt would be best to see your doctor to make sure there are no underlying medical conditions causing your unhappiness, because these kinds of things can be treated.  Whether it is a thyroid condition, other medical problem or true depression, it can be treated.   \n\nIt may also help to find someone to talk with like a counselor; and you may want to use different types of counselors such as a career counselor, life coach, a minister, a social worker or psychologist.  You need to explore why you are unhappy at work.\nAre there any life long patterns causing your unhappiness, are you simply in the wrong line of work for your personality, etc....\n\nIf it turns out that it is something about the job itself or the work environment, then are there ways to improve it or make it better?  If not, then it is probably time to move on to something more rewarding and fulfilling for you.  \n\nThat is where career counselors can help and job testing, those kinds of things.  You may also want to do some volunteer work in other areas to see where you find interests and challenges.  Start talking to other people that have jobs that appeal to you.  Pick their brains and learn about their jobs and work.  That is what I did and it led me down an unexpected path.  Now I have a career and work that I truly love.  \n\nGOOD LUCK !!!!!!
789833
First of all, decide what you want and do it.  You're in a job you don't like.....keep it until you find one you do like.\n\n"The are sort of family"...no they're not.  They're users and abusers.\n\nUntil you take control of your own life you will feel helpless...and that is because you are.\n\nNow get up, dust off and decide what you want and then figure out how to get it.  No one can do this for you...but you.
567025
My growing-up years was a hard one and I’m always trying to be strong and carry on.\nMy Dad made little money and he didn’t treat my mum very well and they often quarreled since I was 3 or 4 years old. That was all the fault of my dad I was clear. My mum wept very often hiding from me but I knew that most of the time. She never thought of getting divorce with Dad forshe \nendured to avoid leaving me growing in a broken family. All those made a very miserable childhood for me. And hard time came when I was about 18 and got good grades ready to enter the gate of college. Dad barely make money and I need it to pay the tuition. During the 4 years of my \ncollege time ,my mom worked very hard for the whole family and I also did part time jobs as a tutor ,a translator and sometimes also waitress. And in the third year of my college ,my ex-boyfriend, my first love, who \nhad been with me for 7 years and stayed in New York for 5 years left me.Suffering all those, I also \nthought that God hated me and wanted to desert me and that almostpushed me to commit suicide.\nBut now I manage to lead a happy life because I'm convinced that those sufferings are good for my character and they broaden view of human inner world. Now i become optimistic and get a better understanding of 'love' to love the world and people more
1154477
you need to examine your surroundings as well as the people in your life and see if this is causing your unhappiness.  If you are unhappy at your job, it spills over into your home life.  So sit down and really look at what is going on..you should be able to pin point what it is and then you can deal with it.
966144
Wow.  I'm in the same situation. \n\nThe only things I suggest are...\n-try to be more mature: maybe they'll feel that you're more responsible and let you have a bit more freedom\n-Be nice (actually):  maybe if you do what they want (ex: good grades, homework done on time, no whining..etc) they would feel proud for you, and give you some kind of reward\n-interact with them more often:  no matter how relentlessly boring or painful this might be, getting to know your parents is a big thing.  After all, they're not going to be with you the rest of your life - they just give you the start.  If you learn what they are like, maybe they would learn more about you.  Then they might know your need for something and let you do it, for it's very important to you.  And anything important to you that is completed, would make you happy.  And parents want their kids happy.\n\nIt's a whole cycle.  \nGood luck!
1130317
If that's the biggest problem in your life, relax.  Or go tell your parents the deal.  Just forget the other people and enjoy the beautiful scenery.