Funny joke -Three doctors are operating on you.  One's a blonde, one's Black....?
929492
not that humorous , P
674141
A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do.\n\n"Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"\nThe blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?"\nThe man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch."\n\nA short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.\n"You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. "Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."\n-the funniest blonde joke \nI knew a blonde that was so stupid that.......\n\n* she called me to get my phone number.\n\n* she put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind.\n\n*she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order.\n\n*she sent me a fax with a stamp on it.\n\n*she tried to drown a fish.\n\n*she thought a quarterback was a refund.\n\n*she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death.\n\n*she tripped over a cordless phone.\n\n*she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.\n\n*she asked for a price check at the Dollar Store.\n\n*she studied for a blood test.\n\n*she thought Meow Mix was a CD for cats.\n\n*when she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved.\n\n*when she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 bus twice instead.\n\n*when she took you to the airport and saw a sign that said "Airport Left" she turned around and went home\n\nDid you hear about the blonde that... \nCouldn't learn to water ski because she couldn't find a lake with a slope.\n\nGot excited because she finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months and the box said "2 to 4 years"\n\nCouldn't call 911 because there was no 11 on any phone button.\n\nWhen asked what the capital of California was; answered "C".\n\nBaked a turkey for 3 days because the instructions said 1 hour per pound and she weighed 125.\n\nAfter losing in a breaststroke swimming competition, complained that the other swimmers were using their arms.
1142158
its a long blonde joke..\n\ntwo brunettes and a blonde are running from three cops. they gain to about a mile ahead & the only thing in site is an abandoned barn. the first brunette says lets hide here, theres no where else to go. so all three of them go in there. there is nothing in the barn but some old burlap sacks & the brunette goes, lets hide in here.\n\nsoon after the cops come into the abandoned barn to find nothing but burlap sacs. the first cop goes, there is nothing in here but burlap sacks, i don't think they are in here. so as he exits he kicks the first burlap sack & the first brunette goes "meow" the cop says, see its only a cat.\n\nthe second cop says, yeah your right they arent in here. so he kicks the second burlap sack & the second brunette goes "ruff" & the cop goes, nothing but a dog.\n\nthe third cop says what in here? and he sees the third burlap sack moving around. he uses his flashlight to see inside of it & he kicks it, and hears the blonde yell " POTATOES!"
653613
A man met a beautiful woman and he decided he wanted to marry her \nright away. She said, "But we don't know anything about each other." \n\nHe said, "That's all right, we'll learn about each other as we go along." .....\n\nWhoops.\n\n\n\nOk, here is my real joke, the only other one I can remember in my flu delirium.\n\n...as told to me by my best friend when she was eight and I was ten...\n\nIf you are on the potty and you are not American, what are you?\n\nyou're-a-peein'.....
1123135
A man goes in to see a doctor. He says, "Doc I've been thinking about it for a while now and I think I wanna be castrated. "What on earth would possess you to wanna do a thing like that? I think it would be the best thing for me. Well.... although I completely advise against this I'll go ahead and schedule you for the surgery. The next morning the man decided to take a walk down the hall. Although he was in excruciating pain, he thought he would give it a shot.He came from his room in time to see another man walking slowly bow legged toward him so he walked up to him. "It looks like you just had the same procedure I did" he said. 'Yeah, I figured after 25 years of life that it was time for me to get circumcised" the man explained. "OH SHIT!!!" he yelled ..... "THAT'S THE WORD!!"
1044614
oh lol....at first i didnt' get it but now i do...but why does it have to be a blond.....anybody could of done that...but i guess its somewhat funny
897892
"There was a midget down in Texas who complained to his buddy that his testicles ached almost all the time. As he was always complaining about his problem, his friend finally suggested that he go to a doctor to see what could be done to relieve the problem. The midget took his advice and went to the doctor and told him what the problem was. \n\nThe doctor told him to drop his pants and he would have a look. The midget dropped his pants. The doctor put him up onto the examining table, and started to examine him. The doc put one finger under his left testicle and told the midget to turn his head and cough-the usual method to check for a hernia. "Aha!" the doc and putting his finger under the right testicle, he asked the midget to cough again. "Aha!" said the doctor and reached for his surgical scissors. Snip, snip, snip, snip on the right side then snip, snip, snip, snip, snip, snip, snip on the left side. \n\nThe midget was so scared he was afraid to look, but noted with amazement that the snipping did not hurt. The doctor then told the midget to get dressed and see if they still ached. \n\nThe midget was absolutely delighted as he walked around the doc's office and discovered his testicles were no longer aching. "Gee, what did you do, Doc?" he asked. \n\nThe doc replied, "I cut two inches off the tops of your cowboy boots.""
989381
A middle-aged woman seemed sheepish as she visited her gynecologist.\n\n"Come now," coaxed the doctor, "you've been seeing me for years . . .\nthere's nothing you can't tell me."\n\n"This one's kind of strange . . ."\n\n"Let me be the judge of that," the doctor replied.\n\n"Well," she said, "yesterday I went to the bathroom in the morning and\nheard a plink-plink-plink in the toilet and when I looked down, the water\nwas full of pennies."\n\n"I see."\n\n"That afternoon I went to the bathroom again and, plink-plink-plink, there\nwere nickels in the bowl."\n\n"Really?"\n\n"That night," she went on, "I went again, plink-plink-plink, and there\nwere dimes and this morning there were quarters! You've got to tell me\nwhat's wrong with me!" she implored, "I'm scared out of my wits! "\n\nThe gynecologist put a comforting hand on her shoulder. "There, there,\nit's nothing to be scared about."\n\nYour just going threw the change, \n\nHope that could cheer you up some!!!
99044
A man who was having heart trouble went to the doctor to see what his options were. Naturally, the doctor recommended a heart transplant. The man reluctantly agreed, and asked if there were any hearts immediately available, considering that money was no object. \n"I do have three hearts," said the doctor. \n"The first is from an 18-year old kid, non-smoker, athletic, swimmer, with a great diet. He hit his head on the swimming pool and died. It's $100,000. The second is from a marathon runner, 25 years old, great condition, very strong. He got hit by a bus. It's $150,000. The third is from a heavy drinker, cigar smoker, steak lover. It's $500,000." \n"Hey, why is that heart so expensive? He lived a terrible life!" \n"Yes - but it's from a lawyer. It's never been used."
946062
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead all work at the same office for a female boss who always goes home early. \n"Hey, girls," says the brunette one day, "let's go home early tomorrow. She'll never know." \nSo the next day, they all leave right after the boss does. The brunette gets some extra gardening done, the redhead goes to a bar, and the blonde goes home to find her husband having sex with the female boss.\nShe quietly sneaks out of the house and vows to return home at her normal time the next day.\nIn the morning, the brunette says: "That was fun, we should do it again sometime." \n"No way," says the blonde. "I almost got caught."
452212
What has the world come to? People don't seem to make good clean jokes any more (keyword: good)! Sheesh...\n\nHere's one:\n\nA pregnant woman gets into a car accident and falls into a deep coma. Asleep for nearly 6 months, she wakes up and sees that she is no longer pregnant. Frantically, she asks the doctor about her baby. \n\nThe doctor replies, "Ma'am, you had twins! A boy and a girl. The babies are fine. Your brother came in and named them." \n\nThe woman thinks to herself, "Oh no, not my brother -- he's an idiot!" \n\nExpecting the worst, she asks the doctor, "Well, what's the girl's name?" \n\n"Denise," the doctor says. \n\nThe new mother thinks, "Wow, that's not a bad name! Guess I was wrong about my brother. I like Denise!" \n\nThen she asks the doctor, "What's the boy's name?" \n\nThe doctor replies, "DeNephew" \n\n:o)
83223
a blonde is driving down the highway in her car. she sees another blonde in the field next to the highway, rowing aa boat. she gets out of her car and says to the blonde in the boat, "what are you doing out there in a boat?"\nand the other blonde says, "this is like, a sea of wheat, duh." and the blonde by her car says, "it's blondes like you that make blondes like me look so stupid. i would go out there and kick your butt right now, but i can't swim."\n- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - \n a blonde and a brunette are on top of a building. if they both jump off, which one will hit the ground first?\n\n\nthe brunette, because the blonde would have to stop and ask for directions.\n- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -\n  the pope told 3 nuns to go out and commit a sin. the first nun goes out and steals a car. she comes back to the pope and says, " i stole a car." the pope says, " drink from the holy water and you will be cleansed." so the nun drinks from the holy water and she dies. then the second nun comes back and says, "i robbed a bank." the pope says, "drink from the holy water and you will be cleansed." so she drinks from the holy water, and she dies. then, the 3rd nun comes back and says, " i poisoned the holy water."\n- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
624166
this joke is SOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOLD!\n\nThe surgeon is his mother.  Quit watching so many Cosby Show reruns.
385616
Two gay men decide to have a baby. They mix their sperm together, and then have a surrogate mother artificially inseminated.\n\n    When the baby is born, they rush to the hospital. \n\n    A dozen babies are in the ward, eleven of whom are crying and  screaming. Over in the corner, one baby is smiling serenely. \n\n    A nurse comes by, and to the delight of the two gays she points out the happy child as theirs.\n\n    "Isn't it wonderful?" one gay says to the other.   "All these unhappy babies... and yet our baby is so happy. This  just  proves our love for one another." \n\n    The nurse says, "Oh sure, he's happy now. But just watch what happens when we pull the pacifier out of his  a$$."
551982
A ploice men pulls over a speeding woman in a red porsche.  He calls to dispatch with the liscense plate, dispatch calls back and asks if it's a blonde driver.  He says Yes.  The dispatcher tells him to walk up to her window and unzip his pants and see what happens.  The police officer does, when he gets up to the window the woman says, "What, not another breathalizer".  \n\nHope I didn't offend, Best wishes
897768
It looks like all the Blonde's avatar's didn't get the joke opps some did lmao
1054289
Your doctor tells you.