OK I am 40, have 3 kids, is my life over or does this not matter to the predatory male!!?
920482
Doesn't  matter: Show  the  world  what "JACKIE " is\nall  about !
292242
I was once in that same situation.  First of all you must get your priorities in order (YOUR KIDS).  I wanted to date,so I got my kids on a good schedule.  I focused on them being asleep by 8:00 at night.  When I was successful, that is the time I accepted company.  Whoever you choose will probably be with you.  Don't put that on the kids because a good man will not care if you have kids. I found that if you start the kids' day early, let them outside for some real playtime, give them a good meal(come in from work and cook or start precooking meals), wash them up, then put them to bed (I let them think that they could watch cartoons in bed, it took 5-10 and they were sleep)....They will go to sleep. Be choosey!!! Because you don't want just anyone around your kids.  Working is good.  This means that you can take care of yourself. If the first man you choose is wrong....HOLLER "NEXT"....and keep going until you meet one that you can work with.  You'll be surprised.  (Meanwhile, try to network with another mother that's in the same situation or a smart teenage babysitter or a family member if you can.  Get out of the house sometimes....save a few dollars to pay if you can....BUT ALWAYS WORK ON THAT FIRST THING!!!
53671
No way!!! Just look at the handle you chose, "sexy&hot". Do you really want that cold bucket of water at this point of life and carrer. I´m 41, married and father of a 4 1/2 yr old girl. For us, it had been an amazing experience. But by the time she was born, we were debtless homeowners, with established careers and education, and had pretty much traveled every place we wanted to. Believe me, at 28 you´ve really just barely made it out of your biochemical / emotional adolescence! Live a little, get your all your stuff together and, when the time is right, you will make a great parent.\nBut bear in mind, once you become a parent, even "dinner and a movie" might be impossible for quite a while (yrs maybe). You´ll miss out on a lot of things and might even resent the child or simply be a little neglectful (very common of child-parents). So, to sum it up, WAIT!
964744
Be on your side thats all that matters. I haven't had a father for 27 years and I am 27. My mom made the smart choice and got out. My sperm donor is a raging alcoholic and hasn't changed to this day. So I can say I am better off that might make me sound bad but I can honestly say my life has been better without him.
1165246
you are making care-full moves i hope you carry with it. As you said it would be too early. I would also opine in the same tone but it seems you are making some irresistible haste which will be waste, if you do not use your own brains. My personal opinion being "look before you leap" suggesting you to be cautious. Some great people say that "your heart should not rule your head"  because they have succeeded in their life by making proper moves at right time. Your age from your profile does not give you freedom to make your own choice on major decision's of life, even though you are major. In this particular episode if you are going to make a long time relationship you should take advice of your parents too. anyway life is yours these are my personal opinion so that you do not fall in a ditch and repent after wards. Net friendship should not be taken seriously until everything is tested first on net itself through cam's, voice chat etc. anyway best of luck.
902044
sounds like your in a pickle...i am 26,man that looks old, but anyways, listen.i got the same thing from my girl, about a few weeks ago. not the fact of moving cause of school or anything(we have been 2 gether for 6-7 years and have a 4yr old son). she just came to me with the fact that she thought we need time,i never saw it coming and all that, yeah..it sucks.when your in love and when they come to you with this crap, your kinda like...what?when?how?why?me? i got like you. thisterrible sinking feeling inside.thats when you really know that you care,but what hurts the most is when they are like?oh?i hurt you?\nBUDDY, i hope your young.you have no children? so go on with your life.its gonna be ahrd, i mean you put in the effort, 5 years of your life and now this. it will take some time getting over this, but hey. im sure you have a mom, or family or friends you can lean on at this time. it will just take time, besides...there are soooooo many beautiful women out there. i was at the point to where iwas like i didnt care about those other women, but get this...they do care. they are out there looking just like you will have to.some will come to you,and some you will have to suck it up and go for.everyone gets rejected here nd there*trust me it sucks) but movw to the next. if you dont want to get hurt all over again, then dont get too involved. whats the best part about this? you will meet so many intresting people and get to do new things. yeah she might be in austin having a blast with out you. you will just have to accept this, get over it and have blast yourelf. if your here and shes there, it will make it easier,but when she comes back...or is ever alone at school and the memories come back to her, she will reliaze that she had something special. not every man is gonna treat her like you did..some may be better, most will be worse(most guys in collage are NOT looking for relationships ya know?) and she will, or try to reach you again to see how you are. hopefully youve moved on, got a black book packed with girlfriends, that are friends, some even more, thats when its sweet..when she comes back trying to be a apart of your life again...you might take her back...you might reliaze, you have moved on and shes just another face in the crowd, she didnt care about your feelings then...you could blow her off, you could give it a shot all over agian. i know its not easy.in fact me and my girl are still together after i found out how she felt. we are not married..so its no promise that it will work, all i know is that i have son with this woman, and i love him-if it works with her,great if not...i ahve him, and thats all i will ever need, me,him,god-you will understand once you have a kid, it is amazing\nwell good luck pal,keep your head up..if it help..go beat the shit out of a door, or punching bag, a little stress relief, or go have a drink this weekend at aclub or bar, and enjoy the view, the eye candy..the ladies!who knows, someone might be looking for a someone like you.
329159
Run and never look back.I have three kids with this guy and he does nothing for my kids and he's in the same town, what do you think a guy would do living in another country? unless you are financially stable enough and your prepared to raise this baby by yourself then don't do it.
933733
first off, my wife is preggo with twins and I can vouch for the psyco mood swings, so stop.....breath, relax and take a step back.  Next I don't know what kind of man you got but I was a player of sorts but when I found out we were having twins all my female friends were booted from my life, so were most of my male buddies....if they are friends they will be there after things settle down.  If his friends are upsetting you, they need to get lost!  Boyhood -B-Gone it's MAN time.
70154
Yes I think it does. Only because of the maturity thing. When I was 19 I dated a 32 year old that had two kids. He and I had a lot of fun together, but he wanted an "instant" step mom for his kids. I on the other hand wanted him to myself and didn't want to share him with the kids. A lot of people will tell you that age doesn't matter. But I disagree with that. The differences in age groups and wants/needs/maturity levels are to wide.
688229
Interesting topic......since I was in that very situation.....I personally went with the serious responsible, cuz handsome will go away eventually......but serious and responsible can be taught fun times.  I personally would prefer a good life with someone who can work with me to build a great life over a sexy for now one who could careless about the future.....cuz ya gotta plan for your future otherwise you end up 65 and a walmart greeter.
610719
I'm sorry-- it is frustrating.\n\nSome guys have a hard time with an intelligent successful woman.  They feel threatened.  \n\nSound like you're doing the right things-- being upfront with the guys about what you want and what you don't want.  There is no reason you should feel pressured to have kids.  \n\nI hope you find the right guy for you.  And I can tell you're smart enough you don't need someone to say that you shouldn't change for them!
572545
this man wants to have his children with you, so you should be hounoured.. he's pretty serious about you then!!  so smile girl..at the end of the day  u can control how many kids you have. I think it's cute..lol  it's 50 -50 with guys and girls wanting kids from what i've experienced.
437880
Hi Sunshine!\n\nI was married for twenty two years and then divorced, so I can absolutely relate to your situation. I will share my experience and maybe it will help you - I sure hope so. (I married my high school sweetheart so he was the only person i had ever dated- talk about culture shock to start dating again).\n\nAfter my divorce, I felt the need to take a little time to adjust and get to know myself. Felt kind of like I had lost myself in the marriage so to speak. I spent the first 6 months after my divorce alone - it was a conscious choice i made. After that time frame, I started going out with my friends/socializing. Everything from going out dancing, traveling together, attending sports events, outdoor activities, etc...In doing these things i made more friends and when someone asked me out - I went. Dating alot during that time frame helped me to see what i really wanted in another person and it got me used to the dating scene again. I let the person know i hadn't dated in a long time and tried to have a sense of humor about the situation, but I would definitely not go on and on about your ex, your marriage, etc...no bigger turn off!\n \nI think sometimes it is hard in the beginning to think about dating because you are afraid things have changed drastically in the dating world after 25 years, but actually it is pretty much the same. Women just have more choices now, then they used to. We can ask guys out, make the decisions, etc...One difference i did find is alot of younger men asked me out. At first, I wasn't comfortable with this, but my friends said, that i needed to realize that age doesn't matter as much anymore. People look younger than they are and younger men seem to like older women because we are more secure and know what we want out of life. It seemed men my own age were interested in younger women after their divorces and older men are too set in their ways or couch potatoes, so the younger guy thing is an alternative - not that you can't find someone great who is a peer or older...\n\nI set some rules for myself as well: No guys too young - just wouldn't be right for me personally, and I have sons that are grown so i did not want to make anyone uncomfortable. I was 42 at time of my divorce and dated men mostly in 34 to 42 age group. I also decided to set limits for sexual activity as well.\n\nDon't be afraid to try internet dating svcs. It is the new way to meet people - you do have to be careful. Don't give out personal info at first, write to them, talk on phone and then finally meet them in a public place. I dated for eight years after my divorce had a great time, met wonderful people and not so wonderful people and just six months ago met a guy online first time i gave yahoo personals a try and we are getting married this year!\n\nHave fun, be adventurous and don't take life too seriously.\nMaybe the first few dates will be hard - getting  used to the dating thing again, but it will get easier and easier. Oh, and if you have kids that are concerned about the dating thing - communicate with them\n\nGood Luck!\nalaska friend
656447
Wow.... such a loaded and difficult question.\nI feel that the biological clock must be ticking or you wouldnt be asking.\nI would say 30-35 at the latest, at least that is the medical opinion on the latest to have a first child.  While it is possible after that the health risk increases.\nPerhaps it would be better if you examined your idea on what a perfect man is?\nAre looks important?  Money?  Manners?  Whether or not they have been married or have kids of their own?\nThese things may be flexible in your definition of the perfect man and they may be not.\nI am older, and single.  I never found my perfect match either, but it is better to be alone than to have someone who makes your life terrible.\nGood luck.
174064
Children of any age resent any "outside" interference from sources such as yourself in their lives.  They always consider that maybe, the parents will return to each other and they will be "one happy family" once again.  And, if by chance, your "man" was widowed, the kids think of you as the "Wicked Witch of the West" trying to replace their mom.  After 2 years, I would think you'd have a better hold on everything, but it appears maybe you and the "man" hasn't really sat down and discussed these matters for the future. But you state, its "your feelings toward the children" that you fear, not their feelings toward you?  Evidently, you can't accept the children and only want kids between you and your man.  Now that's a major problem and if I were you, and can afford it, I'd seek professional help on this matter.  And if you can't afford it, maybe the welfare people in your state might assist in financial matters?  I'd find out ASAP and get this problem either corrected in my own mind, or split with this guy knowing you will never accept his children as yours.
585447
Here is my outlook on suicide, it is the weak way out, I've had a couple of Friends take that way out. It is the most selfish thing you could do. I've seen what it does to the loved ones left behind. I don't know you but I can tell alot about you from your question, if you think that the 4 days you spent with some guy you met on the Internet was great, then you really need to ask yourself some questions, first is do I really want to care about a guy that would lie to me? 2nd is any guy that has to get a girl over the Internet is not worth it and he just told you things to get you into bed. And unfortunately there are sick guys that do that. And  3rd If he never talks to you again, So What, you are better off without him. There are a lot of good guys out there that will treat you like the good women I know you are. Your only 23 for crying out loud! You have a long life ahead of you. You will meet the right guy and have a great life! If you are willing to KILL yourself over 4 days with a Guy that lied to you and played you, then you need to take a few steps back and look at things. Do you want to give up the joy of having children? Do you want to give up how it feels to lay down with a man that really loves you? Do you really want to lose the joy of your first grandchild? Life is beautiful! Please think about it.
677784
I am 32 and you sound JUST like my mother did with my step father (my EX step father). You are NOT In a relationship. You may not want to hear it, but there it is, You are robbing your children, I wish someone would have told my mother this.  IF! you were in a relationship believe you me, you would NOT be the one driving an hour every time you see each other. It would be him, or at the VERY least one day you and the next him.  With gas about 3 dollars a gallon you have the audacity to spend the little money you have on gas to see him ( i mean you cant be rolling in the dough if all you can afford at the moment is a room), try adding that up and seeing how much further your dollar could stretch for you and your girls and the lifestyle you give them.  He isn't "scared", he is playing you.  He gets you to come to him, he doesnt deal with your girls, he doesnt offer financial help (even if you would say no thank you) \n\nHe seems to have no qualms that the woman he is seeing is living in a room with two preteen children. he DOES NOT LOVE you darlin'.  \n\nMy step dad was worse than your guy and anded up marrying my mom to get his green card, cheated and never cared about her children adn she STILL stayed with him, paid for EVERYTHING for him even when that meant her children went without.\n\nWe as women romanticize our relationships, but ask yourself this question objectively...\n\nIf one of your daughters was in the EXACT same situation, what would your advice be?\n\nAsk any male you know (that DOESNT KNOW HIM) for an honest answer to the question...."If you LOVE a woman and were doing well yourself, would you allow her to spend upwards of 50 dollars a week and and an hour commute to see you and leave her living in a room with her 2 children? they would answer that "NO they wouldnt, but if they were only sleeping with her or not serious, then YES!!!!!.  I have 4 brothers, I know of where I speak. When a man is in love, modern day independance is thrown ot the window, they only care about making her happy and protecting her.\n\nIt's the same instinct most mothers have as soon as they give birth.\n\nBest of luck darlin and im sorry if I sound harsh, I just dont want your children to resent you the way we resented my mother even long after he was out of the picture.  And you deserve to be with someone that shows you REAL love, respect and a man that is so excited to spend time with you and your girls that he not only commutes to see you, but does it happily and with glee.\n\nAgain, Best of luck.