my dad's dying...should I go now or wait..?
921157
what is more important to you? your dad or school? I would say my dad but thats just me hes done so much for me the least i could do would be go see him before he died and offer my comfort.
673721
time. that's all that works...you can't do something else to take your mind off it, or take a pill or anything. He's your dad. You're going to have to take time to grieve. Do it. It's supposed to happen. After a while it'll get easier, but you won't ever forget.
204525
It is a natural as birth, I my father died two years ago. He had a maintainable decease Ulcerative colitis. But at 72 he was tired of living. He felt he had done what he was put here to do and there was no talking him out of it. They put him on painkillers and sent him home. He died six months later. It's tempting to say "lost", but this isn't the case in reality. Those who pass over are ever present in our lives. At times you will even hear them speak when you are having troubles. Right now your mother in law is in a safe place and at peace. There is no time, no pain, there is no fear or suffering. Better by far than the place where we live today. If you look ahead I know it sounds far fetched, but you will see her again soon. Time isn't what you think it is.. So waste non of it. 20 years from now this will make even more sense.
1023132
I am in the same boat as you are.  I'm 17 and i've never seen my dad.  I think that if you really want to go see him then nothing should be holding you back.  Let your heart be your guide.
491150
This is called anticipatory grief. You realize that you will be losing him some day and you are already trying to cope with the impending reality. This is just one way people cope. Others only grieve after the loss of a person.  As you hinted, you don't want your anticipatory grief to interfere with enjoying him while he is with you now. Knowing that and feeling that are two different things. Do the things that are good for your relationship with him now and feel free to feel your feelings (don't suppress them or be afraid of them) because this is your way of coping. Once you take the taboo off of your feelings and still do the things that make for a full and satisfying relationship with your father in the present, your feelings should start to lessen in intensity.
648222
That is close to a death in the family so don't rely on strangers to get you through this. Friends, family and God will guide you through. Take one day at a time...
1072730
I am so sorry about your grandfather. It is impossible for anyone to give you an exact amount of time he has left. However, if he is being cared for by a hospice agency, then his doctor has determined that he has less than 6 months (give or take - you just never know)\nSome signs of impending death are:\nDecreased eating/drinking\nA decrease in urine output\nExtremities become cool and dark\nirregular breathing pattern\na collection of secretions in the mouth/throat - so that it "rattles"when they breath\nI am sorry I can't give you more specific information - no one can.\nI wish you the best.
1013722
Probably you, but for different reasons.\nKnow this, that you can overcome this pain. It does not seem it now, but there is nothing that you can't handle. Get out in the sun, keep your life going, as any parent would want this. talk to your dad, tell him how happy you were today, but you can still tell him that your sad about his condition. If I were in your shoes, I might tell my dad that I am going to accept what has happened, as there is nothing I can do about it, and I am going to make the best of the situation by being happy,for his sake and your's,  and talking with him. Life through us a curve-ball, but I am throwing it back and showing my strength. My dad would be proud of me for that, and your's will, too. Keep talking to him, and show him that you can make the best of this that you possibly can.
143331
Sorry I now how it feals. My father died in 1999. Take care of yourself a keep busy all the time don't have any free time so you don't think about it and stay with friends.
1121210
So sorry to hear about your loss.  You should be at his funeral and just know that only time will heal the pain.  And it will.
776088
My deepest sympathy to you.  My Grandfather committed suicide just before Christmas a few years back.  I rarely discuss it with my family as they do not wish to see it for what it was.  I cannot imagine the horror you feel as it was your own father.\n\nBut, to the question at hand.  God judges the hearts of man.  He alone decides.  Things to consider, did your Dad have a right relationship prior to death?  Was he mentally ill.  Severe depressed?  It is so hard to know what was going through a persons mind before they committed the final tragedy.\n\nPlease look to a church with grief counseling.  Do not add guilt to your already overloaded plate.  Remember God is loving and will make the right decision.  Keep your faith and trust your God and he will be faithful to you and see you through this horrible time.\n\nI will pray for you and your family.
502792
Yes. The last moments of someones life is very precious. I was with my mother when she passed away. I would suggest you go, don't live with regret.
316283
YOU TELL HIM - DONT WAIT AS IT MIGHT BE TOO LATE
167791
Oh, please, my greatest sympathy to you.  My oldest is 33 years old and I would also be devastated if something happed to her.\n\nHospice is a great organization; it helped my father during his last days.  But there should be community mental health practitioners - go to your county health department and ask them for a list of names; they usually work on a sliding scale depending on your income.\n\nPlease talk to someone.  Your question pulls at my heart strings because you seem to be such a good-hearted person.  We can't know why things happen the way they do.  And I don't think we can ever accept the death of a child.\n\nTry not to spend too much time alone right now.  If there are any small children around, sitting and holding them - getting hugs and comfort from everyone around you is necessary.\n\nPlease do call your county health department or senior center or hospice to see what counseling they have for you.  And be very, very good to yourself during this time of sorrow.  Your daughter is watching you from heaven and she wants you to be happy and go on with your life.
1084790
Custody decisions are never final- if there is good reason for a change, the court will look at it and it sounds like, in this case, there is no question your dad would lose custody, parent privilege, as well maybe even visitation time.\nBesides that, make sure you talk to someone- because if you've already been suicidal, I am afraid you might follow your dad's patterns of drug abuse.  \nAlso, I disagree that you need to be there for your dad and that he doesn't know what he's doing.  Your dad needs to be there for _you_, not vice versa.  And, also, no matter how high a person is, they still have awareness- I have been messed up myself on drugs, so I know this.\nPlease talk to someone at your school, or call an anonymous 1-800 number for counseling. \nYou can also call CPS if it's that bad, although I know that could be difficult to do to your family.  But if no one's looking out for you, you have to do it yourself. \nGood luck.
285372
I am so sorry to hear about your loss.  Whatever you do - do something.  No matter how insignifcant whatever you do may seem to you at the moment - it will mean more than you can imagine to the family.  They understand the distance in miles associated with this loss.  God bless you and yours at this time!
1144181
If you feel drawn to go, that's what matters.  Death has a way of making things real, and if you still have a place in your heart for him, I would say it's right to honor that place and attend the funeral.  Probably it's a good idea to do so discreetly, as anonymously as possible, unless a graceful opportunity presents itself for interaction with the family, at their initiative. Otherwise, it's between you and your memory of him, a private goodbye.