i am a shy person actually but ..?
926257
i used to be like you and the answer that i found is:\ndon't give a damn about what people well say about you.
319320
Hi there!\n\nI was terribly shy all through elementary school, middle school and high school. I think the main causes for mine were partly it was my personality, but also we moved alot, my dad was in military and i suffered some serious abuse from a young age...\n\nThese are some things that helped me and I hope they help you. First, I forced myself to take a public speaking class in high school and to get a job dealing with the public. It was very scary at the time and hard, but it did help me to start overcoming the shyness. Don't stay away from social situations, place yourself in them so you get used to talking, socializing etc...\n\nDon't think you are weird or strange for being so shy. Many teenagers and grownups as well suffer from shyness to some extent. Mainly it is caused because we want to be liked, want to say the right thing and are afraid we won't. I know when i was a teenager i was very afraid of boys because i didn't know what to talk to them about, when i finally started talking to them i found out they weren't that much different from the girls i was talking too. As you get older, you tend to lose some of the shyness, because you are working, maturing, extending your experiences and with confidence developed out of those situations you lose that insecurity. \n\nI know that you must have hope. If you had seen how shy i was at your age (I couldn't even go to a store and make a purchase that is how bad it was). I never looked anyone in the eye, etc...And now I am 49 years old, never meet a stranger and a people person! \n\nMy friends say that people gravitate towards me and everyone likes me. You know why? Because i always remember how it felt to feel uncomfortable, shy and out of control/insecure - those feelings have made me an empathetic person and i try to put people at ease when we meet. I give them a big smile, am friendly, ask questions about them to show i am interested in them and this makes them feel good! So use your shyness as a tool. First, remember that we are all insecure and scared in certain situations - I mean how many people do you know that hate public speaking? We all want to be accepted and liked and then just get out there and take chances and try to turn your shyness around - don't worry only about you try to focus on the other person and make them feel at ease...see what happens!\nIdentify the reasons you think you are shy and wk on changing them as well...\nDon't give up you sound like a great person and it takes time.\n\nsincerely,\nalaska friend
698860
i think you're the shy one...
540885
Lots of people talk.  Learn to ask intelligent questions and listen and you will find friends pretty fast.  And after they are your friends your shyness about talking will start to fade as you get to know them.
856694
You need to start coming out of your shell. You think you are shy, but I guarantee you that most everyone else is too. Just be your happy outgoing self and the right guy will notice you. BUT, don't forget, he is probably to shy to approach you too. So you may have to be the one to break the ice. Good luck. GaryT
1061951
What helped me was someone telling me that shyness is really a form of self-centeredness. If you think about it, people you encounter don't really care even a fraction as much as you do about how you come across. They have their own problems, concerns, etc. to think about. In fact, many of them are probably shy themselves but may be a little bit better at hiding it. \n\nIn group situations, shyness is a form of selfishness. You've got a lot to offer (your unique outlook, life experiences, advice, etc.) and to withhold it from others is selfish. So resolve to share more of what you have instead of keeping it to yourself...thats one way of overcoming it.\n\nOne of my friends joined Toastmasters International. Its an organization with social events in which people take turns giving toasts--its good practice for public speaking, especially when you realize how many people are also nervous and shy about expressing themselves! Similarly, you can sign up for acting/improvisation workshops. You can learn techniques there to get over your self-imposed inhibitions as well as how to be and project an image of being open and outgoing (one tip: learning to listen to others and respond accordingly.)\n\nGood luck!
447686
I found drama really helped me get over my shyness.  If you're in highshcool take a drama class.  If you're out of highschool, look into a theatre company and audition.  Even if you don't make it, the simple fact that you auditioned infront of -people- will slowly help you
280252
go somewhere u have something on common with other ppl and say hi i know ur shy but trust me i used to b shy till i made it though college and got tired of it surprisingly ppl dont mind you talking to them as long as u have something in common \n\n\noh there is some pill for it too (imagine that) but seriously its for ppl with social anxiety disorder
124175
Are you sure you are shy and not just lacking self esteem? There is a large difference. You have friends so it probably is not shyness, someone somewhere has knocked what you have said about something and it affected you. That is normal, I think most people go through this at some point in life. \n Advice- well just talk, don't even think about it. Say what comes to mind when someone asks you a question. If you don't know the answer please don't be afraid to admit it, this is how you learn in life. I grew up ( I am 48 yrs old now) with the thought that I was stupid and should never open my mouth. Guess what I had an IQ considerably higher than those who said I was stupid. They just had to make themselves feel better by keeping me down.\n Eventually I learned to open my mouth and not care what others thought about my words, and yes I made mistakes, but mistakes can be corrected. Just let it out, you may actually open someone's eyes to a whole new world or concept they never thought of.
144568
Its OK to be shy, so what if it takes you a while to feel comfortable with new people and new situations. In fact, it can even be helpful to be a little shy. When you're shy, you may spend a little extra time observing the scene before jumping right into it. And you're unlikely to talk to strangers, which you shouldn't do anyway!\nLook up - affirmations - they are good for all of us.\nTell someone about this if your depressed and talk to them. A parent, friend, teacher. Good luck to you and don't worry. Friends happen.
92248
Learn to talk to people.  I think many people are painfully shy when it comes to talking to all but their closest friends.  I think that shyness stems from a lack of confidence and the idea that no one wants to look foolish in the eyes of others.\n\nYou must realize that everyone has the same concerns, even if it seems that they don't.  When you are in a group of people, pick out someone who also seems to be in the same boat as you, and start a conversation.  Share your interests and you will be amazed at how quickly you will make friends.  \n\nBest wishes.
246713
relax and be urself. u will feel less shy later
449208
Great communicators/conversationists know how to ask questions and LISTEN with interest to the answers. If you are quiet by nature, you are ahead of the game, unlikely to be inclined to blubber idiotically. Stop trying to overcome your 'shyness' and stop worrying about what YOU have to say. It's the fear of being rejected that trips you up. \n\nLearn to listen. The right words --- the ones 'outgoing' people usually can't utter --- will come when you stop worrying about what YOU have to say and just listen quietly. Try it out and tell me it doesn't change how you view your 'social self.' \n\nGood luck!
608713
well it kinda depends on you because im like that sometimes, im very shy but the thing is when i IM him.. im myself cause ur not actually infront of him. but when u talk to him or call him, ders a difference cause u'd actually hear him and ull get really nervous. so yea its up to u. but if i were u, id start IMing him then once u get to know him more and more. i suggest ud talk to him later on since u know him more...
124678
I used to be just like that. but you dont really get over being shy, you jsut get better at being outgoing. the first thing i did was join a club that takes you all over the U.S., it's called FFA. I got a job and it was a waitress at a bar. so there are many opportunities there. just go up and talk to the guy, any guy, it's how i did it and now im still shoy to an extent, but hey, im get out there and i have fun while chatting up some hottie. so jsut break away and strike up a conversation with some random guy, like a guy from school, in the grocery store...anywhere...even in the mall. it works.
288773
Everybody has their rythm, and they need to be respected. Usually shy people have a very rich internal life, and it would be wonderful if they could share some of it with others. But you just need to wait for them, and let them know you're there for them.
440146
i used to be so shy, until i found my now best friend. she was so confident and encouraged me to do the same. maybe try and find friends on your own, so you aren't relying on your now friends to have a good time. Make conversation with a person in a bar or pub, thats usually a good way to get more confident, and if it doesnt work out then you can just leave it at that!\n\ndo things in public that you wouldn't normally do, like singing and dancing when messing about with friends.  Most of the problem is that you are thinking of what others think of you.  Dont worry what they think, theyr the ones having a boring time not you! and anyways, you wont see these people again, so let them think what they think!