Interracial Relationships. Help, Please.?
923489
My parents were the same way when I dated outside my race and I didn't understand it, I was happy and they were ruining everything.  I think if you are happy with him then be with him regardless of what your parents say (I did).  They will try everything to prevent you from seeing him but in this situation they are kinda being selfish and racist at the same time.  There's nothing wrong with interracial dating (now-a-days).  Good luck with your parents accepting your happiness.
994470
I don't know about all that. My husband and I are an interracial couple (the first for both sides of the family) and I told my parents about him as soon as I felt that it was serious & I was in love & going to be spending alot of time with him. (as did he) I don't know your bf or his family, but I do know that in some Muslim religions it is shameful to date outside of your religion or race & is punishable by DEATH. Maybe he is afraid to tell & if that is the case I would be too, and I wouldnt pressure him to tell. Good luck :)
943381
yes, I was married to a black man for 20 years.  I loved him very much but we caught hell from both sides white and black.  People were always trying to under-mind our relationship.  His family had problems with it, especially the females in his family.  My family at first was not happy, but when they saw him for who he was, we had a great relationship.  So, you can't force people to except your love of another person of any other color or country.  You both have to work on  your love of one another because there is always going to be hateful, mean people out there who are not going to be thrilled with your love and will say things and try to do things to end it.  People are just hateful.  But, I don't regret it.  My husband died and he was a good person and we endure a lot, but we loved each other and people saw that and pretty much had no issues with it.
279564
Yes. \nI am white.... caucasian.... pigment deficient... whatever you want to call it. I've dated (and married) women of other races throughout my life. The darker the skin, the more racism we experienced. I did not feel it from many outsiders, just mainly from my family... until I dated black women and eventually married two of them. Then I experienced it pretty much everywhere we went, to different degrees... both from blacks and from whites. \n\nMe and my second wife broke up in '94, and since then I haven't been in an interracial relationship... not by choice - just happened to fall in love with someone that was a little short of pigment.\n\nI don't know your reason for asking. I personally think that we should all love whoever we are meant to love and never make a choice based on color of skin. I will say however that in interracial relationships, there is a lot of additional pressure and outside resistance and negativity that doesn't exist in "same color" relationships.\n\nIt amazes me how in all other aspects of life, we LIKE contrast and are drwn to it. "Wow, I want that white car with the tan interior." "Those kaki pants look great with that red shirt." "I love the colors that you have picked for your house... they really compliment each other."\n\nExcept when it comes to the color of our skin.\n\nAren't we referred to as "THE human race" and "humanKIND?" \nNotice that neither word is plural.\n\nOZ
835191
Why does it matter that he was very sweet and respectful in regards to his race?  are you more suprised at the fact that you have a good man or a good black man?  Race shouldn't even be in the cards.  Personally, I could care less if he's black, white, green, or purple.....as long as he treats u right, get yours.
505545
Well, 2 months is long enough to know if you love someone so it is possible that this guy is in love with you. And his race has nothing to do with anything. He is a fellow human being and that is all that matters. \n\nYour comment about not knowing how to love is interesting. Could it be that you will not allow yourself to love? I noticed you asked if it is 'okay' to love someone outside your race. Almost as though you are asking permission to fall in love - or to love full stop. YES IT IS OKAY!!! But why the heck do you care about the opinions of a bunch of people on this board? We don't know you. Only you know if you could ever love this guy and you don't need permission to love him either. \n\nIf you think he is potential partner material, give in to your feelings and go with the flow. See where things take you. Do not pay attention to anyone who looks down on your relationship in any way (unless, of course, this guy turns out to be abusive in some way). What you do and who you date is no one's business but yours. Just focus on being happy.\n\nEdit: \n\nSinfully_exquisite_stalking - my son is mixed race (yes, my ex was white) and he has no identity issues. If your friends seem mixed up it is because they were brought up by parents who didn't impart any sense of their culture. My son knows his white culture and his black culture. He knows he is mixed race but describes himself as a black man because that is how the world at large views him. But bottom line - while he accepts his heritage (because to deny it would be foolish) he doesn't see colour because like me and his father, he thinks it is irrelevant. If your friends are confused, do them a favour and suggest to them that they do what they can to learn about their heritage.
633031
I say abso-friggin-lutely.  I will encourage an interracial couple every chance I get because they need it more than any other couple -- at least that's the case here in the southern United States.  I say if the person you love is not the same color, screw anybody who doesn't like it.  It's your life and you can live it the way you want.
341468
1st - Stop looking at "White" and "Black".  Drop the color.  According to the Human Genome project, \n\n      "Every human being on the planet is 99.9% identical."\nWe are all much more alike than we are different.\n\n2nd - Treat her with respect, dignity, love, compassion, etc...  King was right:  it really is less about the color of your skin and more about the content of your character.  If you're a kind man, it doesn't matter your color. If you're a jerk, it doesn't matter your color.  Be a good MAN.  Be the kind of MAN any woman, regardless of color, would WANT to be in relationship with.\n\nI wish you Peace.
994746
I feel great about it! I really don't mind interracial dating. I think its beautiful when people can express their feelings and not bow to the status que placed on us by society. People forget the culture of america and so it seems, there isn't what they would describe a "problem" with this situation, They choose not to address it, well the "problem" is people being color blind, to the specifics of the word, BLIND TO THE COLORS AROUND YOU. They are unwilling to accept them and hence they are not there or you are blind to them. I don't believe in color blindness, its ignorance, it needs to change, be aware of the wonderous variety around you and accept it. I Think its extremly interesting to learn about other people's ways of life. I think its really sad that people of any race can simply 'dis' others becuase they are of any color.
715814
Love finds itself in strange and unusual ways for many. Interracial dating is fine for me, but it depends on the relationship. Some people are against it, others aren't. It depends on the relationship.
878301
I didn't realize that this was such a big issue.  My husband is bi-racial and so is my 1st son.  I think that that's how the media banks off of things-----creating and building on stereotypes.  If you want to get together with another bi-racial person, go ahead on.  It doesn't make a difference one way or another to me....
2407
i'll tell you what, you want a straight up answer? i'll give you one! all PC crap aside. i have been all over this planet and seen some pretty awesome things and dated some very foreign women. in the end i have learned that there is two things that make this a little more difficult than dating some one of your own class and ethniticity. 1) parents- they make life difficult on every level of this because they are usually stuck in a oneminded track of how things ought to be. usualy because thats how they were brought up. but even thats a poor excuse for their offten tired and outdated principles. most times they just have a cankering of racial bigotry in their heads just like everyone else. they usually make things twice as difficult on their dughter/son as what things already are and in the end the child will usually claim allegiance to them and their wishes. it snot fair and you cant really do much about it. this is usually the biggest reason for "intermixed" relationships to fail. 2) each other- you to individuals are in most cases born of two completely different worlds. in each of these worlds there are certain rules and traditions that are generally expected to be followed without question (parents usually play a role in this also). often times you two individuals get these rules and traditions crossed or confused and guess what? problems occur! whats worse, is mosot times you blame eachother for not understanding the other or you tell eachother that the other refuses to listen or learn. the fact is, both times it all depends on the want or need to make it work. it can and often times does work out, but not without a whole lot of headache and elbow grease. you want to take this person on, good, but make damn well sure they want to take you on. there is a such thing as "slumming it", and you will find people out there that know they are going to end up with a person of their own race and class but are interested in playing with something a little differernt for a while. more often than not, and dont take this personal, but it is usually the female that gets this idea. guys dont usually particulary care too much about and too tell you the truth, the most bigoted and hard headed people i have ever met were mothers. they can play hell on their children if they dont approve of them spending their lives with some white boy, or this black girl of yours, blah,blah,blah..its hard man, you just got to have a pair and go for it in the end if its what you want. sometimes you cant control the outcome, but you can work to make the outcome better than it would be if you just left it for what it is on ts own. thats the truth in it from how i see things. everybody is different, thats how i look at things too. nothing ever exactly works out too plan. there wil always be a glitch or hitch somewhere, just make it work for you and your other instead of getting stuck on it. if your in that relationship than you should both know that it isnt interracial, its interpersonal. you two, together, or you two falling apart. thats the best i can explain it to you.
75280
my husband is black and im white and we have 2 kids....very loving family. weve been married for 3yrs almost 4 and havee not yet ran into a problem. we get loooks if were in a town thats not used to seeing it but when they see how loving we are towards one another they look away or smile. i make it known. i dont think its as bad as what it was when whites and blacks werent "supposed" to mix. i feel so what who cares its your life and if you love him, forget everyone else.
235762
Tough one.  its very hard to change someones mind when it comes to race issues. Your parents are not necessarily racist, they may worry about how other people who are racist will treat you. I would suggest you have a heart to heart with them...ask if they'll meet him, and maybe his parents too.  But remember this...if you try doing it behind their back...it'll just cause trouble....show them how mature your being by being open and willing to discuss the situation. Goodluck.
292977
My son is biracial... I'm Italian, and his father is black.\n\nAs far as the issues we had as an interracial couple, we didn't really have any... our roommates were another interracial couple (black girl, white guy) and we found that when we'd go out together, people would automatically pair us up according to race.. we kept having to correct people! But once we corrected them, people were kind and not judgmental in the slightest.\n\nWhen I got pregnant, my straight-from-Italy grandparents were concerned at first because they thought our child would encounter a lot of prejudice, but once they saw that American culture has become more open-minded about interracial couples and children, they were pleased and excited (and everyone agrees that my son is absolutely adorable)\n\nI do run into the occasional (typically older) person that gives me odd, sidelong looks when I'm out with my son, but on the whole, I haven't encountered much weirdness... and this is Minnesota, home of the bland and mostly Caucasian!
586518
What should matter is how you define your relationship. \n\nDo you consider her 'black' and you 'white' or is she just a girl that you happen to be dating? I am what you would class as 'white' and i am dating a 'black' guy.Sure, when people will sometimes look at us but does that affect our relationship? Of course not! we don't even know them. \n\nThere was even an incident when I was buying a 2nd hand fridge and my bf came with me to the dealers. I asked if they could deliver it and he said 'well thats what you black men do isn't it? none of you guys work in offices or anything...etc etc etc'. Yes, of course we were angry. Yes, my boyfriend does work in an office . No, i didn't buy the fridge. \n\nWhat I am trying to get at is that it is your perspective of the relationship that will make or break it. Will you allow society's views on race to affect you as an adult? I sure wouldn't. Don't let race spoil this world we live in.
632898
If two people can find each other and connect, that's what really matters.  I always tell my kids, I'd rather have them be with someone of a different race they love that loves them and treats them well, than someone of the same race that doesn't.  Love doesn't know color.