How do I deal with my wife's abortion?
922810
First, ask her, during one of those moments, something like "Honey, do you want to talk about it?"  If she says yes, just hear her out, don't be judgmental, and let her vent.  Then you could say something like "You know what?  We all make mistakes in our youth that we regret.  The fact that it still bothers you simply means you are a thoughtful, caring person with a good heart and a conscience.  But maybe it's time to forgive yourself and move forward.  I love you very much and want you to know that nothing you did before we were married has diminished my respect and love for you."  If that doesn't work, suggest counseling.
1102000
It doesn't matter whether you have been married for 2 days, 2 months or 2 years, you are her husband and must be at her side through everything thick and thin.\nYou need to have your wife talk to her family about the situation. She needs to tell them how it is. She can not let them control your marriage or it will fall apart.\nIf your wife must go to moms after surgery then make sure she has her talk with them before she goes. You not being there will only make them and her think that you realy don't care.\nThey are disrespecting her as well as you by not letting you see her. Make sure you tell that to your wife.\nThe past is the past!\nMy husband and I have had a hell of a marriage. The first couple years were the worst. My family felt the same about him as well as his family not liking me for a time.\nThat of course came from us venting and complaining about our problems to them.\nAfter time and alot of confronting everything worked out happily.
775213
Some you win, some you lose.\n\nYou have to try & put this behind you otherwise you'll end up going out of your mind. I realise it must hurt like hell but you can't change the situation.\nOther people will do things at times that if we allow them (situations) will totally screw up our heads. Right now you need to find a way not to let that happen.\n\nUnfortunately there's no easy answer to this, you will feel right now as if you've been totally & utterly betrayed & of course you have. Made all the worse because it's come from someone that you loved & trusted (your wife & Mother of your Children)\n\nI don't think the fact that she was already your ex when you found out makes it any easier for you because you were still together when she did what she did.\nThe worst thing in situations like this is that your future relationships will (if you allow them to) be tainted with distrust & scepticism. You may have to get help to sort this out for you (counselling) before you even attempt to embark on another relationship. Stuff like this tends to rear its ugly head (in our heads) when we least expect it to. If left it can almost take over our lives.\n\nI'm sorry that this has happened. Fair enough if a marriage has broken down or one partner has an issue with the other & things can't be resolved, then arrangements need to be made to split as amicably as possible. To go off & have an affair without sorting one way or the other the relationship we're already in is rank out of order.\n\nDon't let people change you into the slimy scum that they are. \nit will only make you unhappy.\n\nYou can pretty much be sure of this fact though, & that is, once the relationship your ex is now in hits the bumps that hit every relationship at one time or another, she doesn't have what it takes to sort things out properly & will be moving on to her next beau.\n\nYou can feel pity for the Guy she's with now that he can't somehow see that the way she's treating her ex husband & father of her Children, she will one day treat him.\n\nI wish you the best of luck for your future,
287470
I had an abortion when I was 28 and it was the worst decision I've ever made.  I didn't regret it until it was over and then I had severe depression and problems in my future relationships because I couldn't forgive myself.   I'd encourage your friend to talk to her parents.   Believe it or not, there are other options out there.   Tell her to have faith - and good luck.
325344
if your abortions were done in a hospital, you had quality care, so i wouldnt worry.just try to concieve and if you dont then go see a doctor
1027723
As horrible as your situation is you can't.  Legally only she can decide as to whether or not to have an abortion.  However if you have not already done so you can threaten to turn her into the police if she had sex with your son before he was 18 if she refuses to have the abortion.  You could and should also probably get child protective services involved to protect the new baby if she opts out of having an abortion.  I'd think at the very least they'd remove custody of the child from her.
362661
I am pro-choice too but if it's not your choice then it's not the same. You can't let him make you feel pushed into this. It's a big decision. OK there's a risk that it will be still born of miscarry. But if there is any chance that you will have a perfectly healthy baby then You should do what you feel in your heart is right. Sit him down and explain how you feel and maybe he'll see where your coming from. You need top think about yourself and that little child inside you. If you do abort it, you'll always be wondering if it might have been OK.After all you have already got one perfectly healthy child, who's to say you can't have another? Just don't make any rash decisions. There's too much at stake.
347789
My advice is to sit down and talk with your wife. Find out why she left you and try to resolve the problem. If you do get it resolved, your kids will listen to you and your wife. If it doesn't, talk to your kids. Find out why they went to stay with your wife and inlaws. Agian, try to resolve the problems. If those problems can't be resolved peacefully with your wife, get a lawyer so you can have time with your kids too. It's not fair to you to  have to sit and miss your kids who you love while your wife gets to see them all the time. You should both have equal rights to see them.
520603
You owe your wife the truth.  She has a right to know what kind of man she is married to. The longer you wait to own up to all of this with her, the more hurt and angry she is going to be. Try to be a man in all of this, tell her the truth and let her move on with her life. Your feelings are not the only ones at stake here.
29845
Like the others have said, you can have an abortion, keep the baby, or give him/her up for adoption.  There are consequences either which way you go.  If you know that there is no way you could give the baby a chance at a good decent life then you should give them up.  I mean if you have like 20 kids and you can't afford to feed them, what good does that do?  Or if you hear voices that tell you to kill your children, give them up. I'm not trying to be a smart ass I just want you to see that there are scenarios that do justify giving up a child.  Only you know your situation.
1072483
Your reasoning is very sound, and I agree with you. Most times I think this would be the best solution. I am sure there are times when aborting is the only answer, but rare. Stand up for you believe.
163001
dont ditch her!!its your responsibility!!abortion is killin!!darn you!!
987204
Be supportive. If you attack him (verbally or any other way) you put her in the position of defending him. It happens every time. \n\nThe first two years of a baby's life is the hardest on a marriage (statistically) and when the most divorces happen. I think your hands are tied and all you can do is let it play out, and be there when it ends to pick up the pieces. \n\nWho knows .. maybe they will get some sort of help and be able to work it out. She has to decide for herself.
92006
dont have an abortion.  it would probably be hard considering how conservative the country is compared to the west.  however there are not places to help with the child like there are in the us.  best bet is probably to just do your best or move to the states for a short time but im not aware of any law
123781
Your baby should not have to suffer because his or her father is a bad person.  How will you live with yourself knowing that you killed your own child?  Please, think about the impact both on your baby and on your own physical and mental health.    \n\nIf you are three and a half to four months pregnant, your baby already has:\n\n* A beating heart (since 3 weeks after conception)\n* Recordable brain waves (since 6 weeks after conception)\n* Tiny fingers and toes\n* All her organs\n* Fine hair on her head\n\nAt this point, your baby can already:\n\n* Move in the womb--she can turn her head, curl her toes, open and close her mouth, and make a tight fist.\n* Respond to touch--and feel pain!\n* Curl her fingers around an object placed in her palm.\n* Make facial expressions--she can squint, wrinkle his or her forehead, and even smile!\n* Sleep and awaken.\n* Get the hiccups.\n* Suck her thumb.\n* Hear your heartbeat and your voice!\n\nAt this age, your baby would likely be killed by a D&E abortion.  In this type of abortion, the abortionist reaches into the womb with a sharp plier-like instrument, grabs the baby's arm or leg, twists it, and pulls it off.  The baby is dismembered piece by piece--while he or she is still alive!  As you can imagine, this is very painful for the child.   When nothing is left but the baby's head, the abortionist inserts a tong-like instrument into the womb, grasps the head, crushes it, and pulls it out.  This is torture you wouldn't wish on your worst enemy.  How can you do it to your own child?\n\nAdditionally, abortion is very dangerous for you.  Your cervix must be forced open.  The sharp instruments that are inserted can puncture your uterus and damage your bladder and bowel.  Abortion is a blind procedure.  The abortionist cannot see what he is doing.  For more information about abortion risks and about abortion in general, please visit www.abort73.com.  \n\nTo see photos of what your baby looks like right now, please visit www.justthefacts.org.\n\nTo see photos of aborted babies, visit www.cbrinfo.org.\n\nFor medical, emotional, or financial help, visit\nwww.optionline.org for a pregnancy care center near you.  They will be able to help you find a safe place to stay.  \n\nYour baby hasn't done anything to deserve death. Please let your baby live.
1118846
There is a pill she can take if she is in the very early stages of the pregnancy..it will terminate the pregnancy without a surgical abortion..you should go to planned parenthood and get it very soon because after a certain # of weeks you cant take it anymore..good luck
1076948
great! now here is an another superb story by world's best story teller! doesn't ur friend and that dumb lady know about a medical process called abortion! and if they don't agree for abortion then congrates to ur friend coz he is going to be father! there is nothing u can do for ur friend for this! but if u are a true friend,be always with him.he may need moral support to handle this situation!