Neeed cute *oink* pig jokes!?
913312
A pig is walking down the street and smells something so he goes there.\n\nAnd the man throws hm out some bacon and he eats it and he hears someone screaming when he did.\n\nThen the man throws out some ballony.\n\nSo he eats it and he hears another scream!!\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\nSo finally he gets scared and doesn't know what to do until his mom comes and asks what he's doing?\n\n\nSo he tells her i ate some bacon and ballonie.\n\n\nThe mother pig faints when he goes home and takes his mom back he asks what's bad about that???\n\n\nand his mom replies that That was his brother!
258497
go to funnyjunk.com, or jokes.com
1096487
Random 5 word sentence for the laugh?
39012
"Friends! Help! A Guinea pig tricked me!"\n-Dr. John Zoidberg
849868
heheheheeh........hoooooooooohoooooooooo\nmindblowing joke..................awesum................nicejoke
1036139
i just received this joke from a text message..\n\nthere is this boyfriend and girlfriend..\nbf: "hon, let's do 69!"\ngf: "what is 69?"\nbf: "it's easy.."\n\nthen they positioned theirselves..\nwhile in that position, the boy farted 4 times..\n\nthen the girl reacted and said "omg! i cant do this anymore! i cant take anymore the remaining 65!"\n\nlolz..
892228
I love this one...so so funny !!\n\nexcellent job, cutie
24427
there are many such as www.joke.com\njust type in joke in a serch engine and you'll have a bunch.
836768
OMG  this is one of the funniest ones ive heard.  ROFL  Im gonna have to use this one :)
971176
Go to jokepictures.com.
696857
Thanx i needed a laugh!\n1 for u.\n\nA pigs ear\nRecently a man lost his ear, and it was replaced by doctors with a pigs ear. \nThey trimmed it down a bit and made it look humanly before attaching it. Few weeks later and the man goes back to the Doctor and says: \n"Doctor, i keep hearing this noise and its doing my head in." \nTo which the doctor replies: \n"Don't worry, its just a bit of crackling"
459430
*Two men walked into a bar and the other man ducked.\n\n*A duck walked into a pet store and asked the guy behind the counter "Hey! You got any duck food?"\n"No," the guy said, "now beat it."\nThe next day, the duck came back and said "Hey! You got any duck food?"\n"No," the guy said, "now beat it. And the next time I see you in here, I'm gonna nail your beak to the floor."\nThe next day, the duck came back and said "Hey! You got any nails?"\n"No," the guy said.\n"Good," said the duck, "you got any duck food?"\n\n*One day, a man died and went up to heaven. When he got to the pearly gates, St. Peter asked him "Did you do any good deeds in your life?"\n"Well," said the guy, "I rescued an old lady from a gang of robbers."\n"Hey, that's great!" St. Peter said, "when did you do that?"\n"Oh, about five minutes ago."\n\n*One day, three men were in a cave and they found a magic lamp. They rubbed it, and a genie came out and gave each of them one wish.\n"That's easy," the first guy said, "I'd like to be ten times smarter than I am right now!"\nPOOF! He was suddenly ten times smarter.\n"That's nothin'" the second guy said, "I'd like to be a HUNDRED times smarter than I am right now!"\nPOOF! He was suddenly a hundred times smarter.\n"Nah, I got all you guys beat," the third guy said, "I'd like to be a THOUSAND times smarter than I am right now!"\nPOOF! He turned into a woman.\n\nAnd the inevitable dumb blonde joke (NOTE TO ALL BLONDES: I DO NOT MEAN TO OFFEND. I AM MERELY REPEATING A JOKE I HEARD ONCE FROM A FRIEND OF MINE):\n\n*One day, a dumb blonde decided she was sick of all the dumb blonde jokes, so she decided to dye her hair brown and go for a long drive. She drove out to the countryside, where there were farms; one of these had sheep. She thought to herself "oh, how cute! I want a sheep!" So she went to the farmer and explained her request. \nThe farmer thought for a minute, then said "well, girly, tell you what. I'll let you have one of my sheep if you can guess how old I am."\nThe blonde thought about it for awhile, then finally said "66!"\n"By god, you're right!" The farmer said, astounded. He didn't really expect her to guess it, but since she did, he allowed her to pick out a sheep. So she picked one out and drove off, the sheep in the back. Suddenly, she saw the farmer behind her, chasing her car and waving frantically. She slowed down, and the farmer caught up to her and tapped on the window.\nShe rolled it down, and the farmer said "If I can guess what color your hair really is, then can I have my dog back?"
1084228
OOO I have some great ones....I'm graduating in 2 days, and we all had a senior prank meeting, to see what we're gonna do... here are the best ones:\n\n1. Get 4 small or medium sized pigs. Yes, pigs. You oil them up with baby oil, use as much as possible. Then with black paint, you number them with HUGE numbers....."1", then "2", then "3", then "5".....The way that we did it is by putting one pig on each floor and then one in the gymnasium. So the teachers can't catch or get a hold of the pigs because they're all oiled up! And they'll always be looking for pig #4 ! Hahahaha, hilarious......\n\n2. If you go to one of those party suppliers, or novelty gift places, you could special order thousands of those small bouncy balls. When we checked the prices, they were about 1 gross for like ten bucks....which is a great price. The seniors last year bought six thousand of those bouncy balls and let them loose in the hallway stairs....and they never stop bouncing! Go to youtube.com and search for bouncy ball prank, here are some great videos!\n\n3. A couple years back, some seniors bought chickens, and roosters, and ducks and let them loose all over the school....But that's been done time and time again.....\n\n4. Something that will probably get you suspended: We were thinking about this wonderful step by step tutorial:\n        First, you take a syringe, the kind you can buy from a pharmacy. Then you suck all the yolk out of an egg, which will take some time, believe me....when you're doen with that, you take a new syringe, and pump NAIR hair remover into the empty shell of the egg.....tape the little hole of the egg. Repeat until you have about 3 dozen eggs. then aim, shoot, and a good few people will have patches on their heads....or just a big mess on the school's lawn....\nNote: you could also replace with bleach, stink bomb fluid, paint (in your school's colors), piss, get creative....\n\n5. Throw tons of fish in the pool.....\n\n6. DYE the pool.....AND put fish in it.....\n\n7. Steal tons of FOR SALE signs from people's houses, and post them up all over the school lawn.........\n\n8. Send out a letter to every student's parents in the school (there's always a student who works in the main office....bribe her) before prom....saying that "contraceptives in the form of condoms will be distributed before, during, and after the prom" and to send back the bottom fill-in portion of the letter to confirm their approval. Sign in your principal's name and signature. Sweet.\n\n9. Conduct a bake sale with "special brownies", lol.....
78354
I have alot!!\n\nThis guy was painting a tall buliding next to a church. He droped the brush, said "son of a b***h", climbed down the ladder, got the brush, then climbed back up and continued painting. This happened a few more times and everytime he said "son of a b***h". Finally the preacher came out and said "next time you drop the brush say praise the lord". So he dropped the brush, said "praise the lord", the brush floated back up to him and the preacher said 'son of a b***h"\n\n\nWhy is halloween Micheal Jackson's favorite holiday?\nFree Delivery\n\n\nA Cowboy walking into a bar and ordered a coke. He took a drink and said "this tastes funny". So the bartender got him a new one. And he said "thats better" then the bartender said\n"Me Indian, Me play joke, Me go pee-pee in your coke"\nThen the cowboy said "Me cowboy, Me run fast, Me shoot bullet up your A$$"\n\nThis next one I heard on a stand-up comedy show...\n"Drinking and Driving is fun. But getting in a wreak isn't. I was with my friends driving and we hit something. I don't know what it was, but when I woke up I was in a tree, the car was upside down in a ditch and there was a cop there"\n\nCop-Who was driving?\nMan-It wasn't me cause that's not my parking, I park on the tires.\n\nCop-I am trying to figure out who was driving.\nMan-I'm trying to figure out how I got in this tree.\n\nCop-Have you been drinking and driving.\nMan-No, I was f***ed up before I got in the car.\n\nCop-The way you are acting I think I need to give you a drug test.'\nMan- Go ahead, ask me anything. I have been doing drugs for years.\nCop-Do you have a drug problem?\nMan-No, I have planty of weed at home.\n\n\nThis one is fun to do to your friends...lol\nPerson 1- Did you blow bubbles as a kid?\nPerson 2-Yes\nPerson 1-Well, he's back in town and wants you number.\nBoth- lol lmao
479920
worlds funniest joke:\n\nA couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can I do?” The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: “Just take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead.” There is a silence, then a shot is heard. The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says: “OK, now what?"\n\ntwas hilarious when i first heard it.\n\ncheck the link below for full details, theres heaps ;) took part in the survey myself (back in da days)\ncheers
850352
very funny lol ^_^\n\npoor dog\n\nthanks for sharing it
587517
Rats!  I had a wonderful joke I was going to post but since you want comments about needing the points, I have nothing to post.  You are missing a great joke though!