My ex boyfriend and I have a 3 year old daugther, we've been trying for 5 years and just can't let go?
930610
That is a hard thing to go through.  If you know deep in your heart that you guys cannot make it work then you really need to move on and let him do so too.  He's the father of your child, you will always love him for that and hating to see him with someone else is only natural, it kind of like a territory thing.  You probably feel like it's okay for you to move on but it pisses you off that he is.  There's just so much history there that it's going to take time but if you know for a fact that it will not work then wouldn't you want to see him happy with someone then miserable with no one.  You have to also think about that little girl.  Are you guys better parents when you're apart or when you guys are together.  If the answer to that is apart then no matter how much you love him, you can't be with him because of your child's best interest.  \n\nSit down with him and talk about this, seriously and not a passing word here or there and not while you guys are at the park with your daughter.  Tell him that you would like to see him alone, just the two of you to discuss the future of your family.  Really sit down together, not to get intimate, and discuss all the pros and cons of being together or not and then work on it from there.\n\nGood luck to you!
3408
The easiest process that I would suggest is to convert one of your exes that you can stomach. Use that as a starting point to get into the swing of it until you are more comfortable with the concept. Just make sure they aren't confusing the situation with the possibility of getting back together. that can be messy.
1027662
you need to file yourself and get this over with...do not wait on him...and let him go, you may still love him but why? why would you want someone back who has left you and treated you this way...get this over with, the sooner you do the sooner you can move on
39203
think long and hard about why you two split up to begin with. if you feel like you have both changed and can make it work this time, give it a shot. \nare there children involved? if so be VERY careful not to get there hopes back up if things wont work out again.
1116461
Sounds to me like you are thinking right, atleast you recognize that you are indeed his "yo-yo". Honey, I hate to say this but you have GOT to move on. Show him you are noone's yo-yo and get the heck outta this relationship. Who does he think he is? You are too special and important to be treated this way. There's someone out there who will love you and treat you just the way you deserve, like a princess. I have been where you are and I'm 28 now. I've had my share of long relationships and trying to force them to work and basically living in denial. I have finally found my soul mate and I love him so very much! and he is SO good to me. He's everything I have ever dreamed of since I was little, he's my best friend! You stop wasting your time on this guy (I know it's not that easy, 3 years is a long time). But you do need to get out of this now. Show him that you are not going to sit around and always be there waiting for him. Quit making this easy for him! You can do it! So get out there and get happy, life is too short to live this way. Can you really see yourself living the rest of your life this way? What about when you have children? He isn't going to change. Move on sweetie!
486499
I'm really very sorry that you have to go through this  type of situation because i have.Right now I know that it doesn't seem like it will ever get better,but trust me it does.I had been married for 10yrs, together with the same man since high school.He broke my heart left me with a 8,6,4,3month old.To make a looooooong story short(lol)I've been remarried HAPPILY for 7years now.My husband treats me like the Queen that I am,and I most definitely treat him like a King.GOD Bless you and your children(your husband too,he's going to need it)
840428
My wife and I divorced when our sons were 5 and 2 1/2.  It was a miserable experience.  The divorce was painful because I didn't feel like I belonged anywhere anymore.  There was no normality.  Even more painful was not being with my sons everyday.  The hurt will not disappear overnight.  You probably don't want to hear this but it just takes some time.  One thing that will help is to maintain a civil relationship with your ex, but while the hurt is still there try to restrict your conversations to the children.  As for the children, do whatever you can to make sure you have as much time with them as you possibly can.  Focus your energy on making sure they know you want them around and that your home is also their's and they aren't just visitors.  I know the pain you are feeling and my heart goes out to you.  This won't make the hurt go away completely, but it does give you something to sort of hang-on to that is positive.
128730
You can't go, he can't stay. Right? The best you can do is keep in touch & maybe try the long distance thing. If that works out- hey, it's possible- then maybe one of you can move closer to the other or something. However, if it doesn't work out that way then it's most definitely time to move on. Even if you don't wind up being the mother of his children (which could turn out to be a good thing, ya never know) then at least you'll know you tried & will likely have a close friend for life.
614659
I honestly you and you're ex should sit down and talk about it.  I mean, obviously you have a past and if you are both reasonable people you should be able to come to some sort of cconclusion.  You're kids are smart, they will understand at  a later age, but now you have to treat them like kids and let the adults figure out what is best.
1022663
Hard to say, since I don't know the background, but my intution says walk away. I also have a feeling that you might not be able to walk away any more than he has. He may keep coming back, but you keep letting him...what's up with that? If you two had a relationship based on true respect and understanding, then there would probably not be the back and forth stuff.  One thing is for sure, do not let him back just because of your daughter. Kids watch us for a model on how to handle their realtionships. You would be surprised how many things get planted in those little brains...... You know how much you've hurt over this on-again-off-again stuff, and you wouldn't want to see her with any man but one who loves her and is dedicated to her for life right??\nSo, then you must model that in your own relationship.  I am a single mother, and I had a very up and down relationship with a guy for awhile. I found it hard to walk away from it, because I loved him, but in the end, the love for myself and my son won out.... it can for you too.  \nGood luck, and don't expect things to go smoothly either way. This has obviously been a very important person to you, so if you stay together, you'll have alot of work to do, and if you walk away, you'll have a lot of healing!! You can do it though-- put yourself first!!
1167222
I spent 10 years with my first love who did NOTHING but accuse me of cheating. Even after two kids and finalizing my faithfullness with MARRIAGE (which I regreat every day of my existance) YOU dont have to do a DAMN thing to prove that you are what you are, faithfull and a proud mom. Look at how awesome you are with providing for your kids no matter what curve ball life throws your way. It took me to 6 years to stop my putting up with his claims and accusations that I finally dusted myself up one day and realized, (1)How the Hell am I going to keep on putting up with this and (2) why would I put my kids through this? They are such incredible sponges and you are their role in relationships, family and love. My last straw was relationship counseling, that brought out alot of hidden insecurities that I never knew he had as well as shed some light onto several of his accusations. He actually WAS cheating for awhile and guilt wouldnt let him life it down. After 2 months of "trying for the kids" I left. Me and the kids got our stuff together, I fought for full custody and I havent been happier in a long time. There is a sole mate out there for you and HE will FIND YOU, not that you have to force it to happen just because you had kids with the guy. That is the worst reasons. You are making it alone (emotionally, and financially) you can do it without the added pressure of his stupidity. I have all the faith and prayer in the world on your side and you can get through this. You wont be alone, You will be Happy and Stress Free With Your KIDS. They need you. How old is your youngest? How old is your oldest? Dont hesitate contacting me for questions or advice. My heart goes out to you. PrncssNiki@yahoo.com
728466
Not sure how old either of You are... but just do the best you can do, until either you find a way to be with him.. or until You both decide to just call it quits... and good luck, i know You must be hurting alot right now... *hugs*
59508
he is afraid of commitment with children. he should be used to the kids by now if youve been with him for 3 years.
675161
you let him go. there is nothing you can do to force someone to be with you. and even if you could, would you really want to? realize that you two are just not made for each other and move on.
393466
If he wants you back he will find a way.  You might have to accept that he has moved on and try to do so yourself.  The pain goes away if you let it.x
759077
You and the ex need to set your issues aside and discuss how you are going to raise the son, putting his best interests first. He is playing you both, that's what kids do, even in homes with both parents. You have to decide on a course of action and stick with it, consistency is one of the most difficult things but shows the child you both mean business. Let your ex know that you're interested in his help, but he needs to stick to the plan. You need to support one another in this. I hope you are able to do this, or the son will continue to go back and forth until he's on his own. It won't create a stability within him - be responsible, not emotional and talk w/the ex. Hope it works out. You can do it!
386896
Think you've already made your decision by moving out but instead of following your head or your heart follow your instincts,don't think that after being with someone soo long that you can start fresh like strangers,as you have said you'd need to fix what was wrong in the first place...but if he's not willing to do that what's the point of trying again,you have to think about yourself,and your children,life's to short to be messed about...your the only one to see the relationship they way it is so your the only one that can answer your question but if i was you i'd say away and listen to your instincts,your gut feeling they're very rarely wrong...