How do I stop this spiral? I do not want to grow up to be an old miserable man.?
930848
So you want to make friends now because you feel lonely .... does this about sum it up?\n\nStart slow; call your "best" friend and arrange a lunch.  During lunch tell your friend what you've told all of us and ask for his help in getting you out more socially.\n\nOr, make new friends.  Go to an event where people are put together by common interest - a book club, gardening club, whatever you are interested in.\n\nSince you've spent your life being alone, here's a rule to being a friend that will help - show interest in the other person, the friendship isn't all about you!  Ask questions about their life, most people love to share stories of their lives; after all, they want to share themselves too!
19374
Smile! right now... and then, sweep away the negative feelings... it will trap you in a vicious spiral. then we can talk of improvement. but first your attitude has to change. \nmy suggestions: talk to a good friend or a counsellor. next, start exercising. and that does NOT mean going to the gym! you can exercise at home, simply going up and down the stairs multiple times, or putting on some music that you really like, that sets your feet dancing, and dance away even while going from one room to the next! dance with your child! whatever be the age, toddler or older. that will make your child laugh and will whisk away any whiff of depression. play with your child in the park! (weather permitting of course!) you won't need a babysitter, or a gym, and both your body and mind will feel relaxed and exercised at the same time.
57396
remember that life is short and you dont want to grow old asking yourself, 'what if?' and telling yourself 'if only'. Your greatest mistake would be the risk that you didnt take. Believe in yourself and your capabilities, have a positive attitude toward life. Take everything one step at a time, do not be afraid to live life to the fullest for it is fickle and it can be taken away from you anytime. Just always believe in yourself
983524
The same way you enjoy your 30's, 50', 60's etc. A number is just that. It is who you are and how you feel about life in general that effects how you enjoy anything. Just because you turn _____ age does not mean you are over the hill, it means you mature, you know more of what really makes you happy, you are in tune with yourself more than ever, and don't worry about what everybody else thinks. You are a special individual, decide to enjoy life no matter what your chronilogical age may be. If you sit around and worry about it you are wasting valuable energy you could use living La Vida Loca.  Grab the gusto and give it all you got. You only go round once.
1106667
Well if your outlook doesn't change you're in deep trouble with the 60 or 70 years that lie ahead. Get treatment for your depression and everything else will begin to fall into place.
185491
Get busy with something.\nWrite a novel.\nWork or study harder.\nGet involved with a charity project.\nAnything - but be busy - your problem is not love but an unresolved situation that takes time to get used to.\nThe more you dwell the more maudlin you get.\nBut if you enjoy the maudlin side of life... listen to The Smiths, Morrisey....\n\nAnd if it is any consolation your situation is not uncommon...
852985
look in the mirror and realise you are heading for a loveless depressing future...lose weight stop eating you repulse most sane normal guys.do something about it now......
198905
I found talking to a therapist very helpful.  There you can express your feeling and not be judged.  But the only way for things to really change is if you change.  If life feels that horrible, change your life!  Change schools, change friends, live with other relatives.  Sometimes a major change will help you see the world differently.  And remember, no matter how much life sucks sometimes, it's better than the alternative.
144040
life is what you make it!!! you cant dwell on things or hold grudges its not worth it... just brush it off... and be happy
949580
First of all just know that your intention to be happy and cheerful is half the battle. If you want it bad enough, with practice, you will absolutely succeed. \n\nYou say you've been this way since childhood and that your mind tends to go in the same direction all the time and right there is the key. After so many years of your mind running your life in a negative direction its now time for you to take over.\n\nYour mind is replaying over and over what it has learnt and now its time for you to retrain it. It takes time and vigilance but with practive you can make it happen. As soon as negative thoughts come up exchange it for something positive. Remind yourself all the time that life is filled with great things going on all the time. \n\nStay away from negative situations and people. Cling to the positive with all your might. Your mind will fight you but after time will learn to let go. Lets say for instance tomorrow you awaken and it raining. Your mind will tell you what a horrible day its going to be. Stop and say out loud "No, its going to be a great day. I am grateful for the rain and all the wonderful things this day holds for me" Everytime you exchange a negative for a positive you will see the change and be encouraged to continue.\n\nI was there, now I am here. Just keep looking forward. Forget about what you did in the past, its gone and can't be repeated. Today is all you have and you can make it a great Today, every single time.
162762
merlin\n\nWhen they think - and thus feel - they have become worthless!\nThis is proberbal for both men and women; when you become more experianced of life you slowly, or suddenly, realise that whatever distractions you use to avoid this question, you are going to ask yourself, has my life been any use. Have I made any difference to anybody that I am alive?\n\nWhatever has happend in the past cannot be changed. Remorse, regret, guilt and a lot of unfinished stuff can bring a person down. Also the fear and anxiety about the future, when you feel your physical and mental capabilities diminishing - especially if you think it is improper to talk about it and no one could help you anyway - can make you really bitter.\n\nThe way out - go out of your way and do a good deed! Go help somebody by volunteering. Best is to use your experiances by helping a younger person, i.e., read to a child. \n\nHowever, the very best thing you can do as an "old" man is to go and admire a "young" man. I'm very serious. You go out of your way and acknowledge a young fellow for anything that he does which benefits a person or society in any way, then you'll feel very worthy of yourself and your life's experiances. \n\nTherefore AVOID CRITICIZING & GIVING ADVISE under all circumstances! Just admire - even if it is for brute strength only. "Wow! You ARE strong (skillful, nimble, etc.). It takes a lot of strength (skill, agility, etc.) to be able to do that."\n\nThis way, you are encouraging young men and women to be more self confident in themselves and in doing something beneficial. You'll feel their appreciation and your feeling of own self worthiness will grow - and so will your "joie de vivre" - your joy for life.
478982
Hi, I'm really sorry that you're miserable, its quite hard to advise you without knowing what is making you so unhappy; if youre lonely then i would advise to try to get out there and mix with others because there are so many lonely people all wishing they had more in life, how about pen friends or chat rooms? anyway i hope things improve for you soon.
809615
we all grow up [or at leat, that what is suppose to happen] So, do not feel guilty of growing up and becoming a mature individual whose priorities has changed over time.  This is how it ought to be. When we were children, we did the things children do and viewed the world with much immaturity.  But as we grow, we find that those things that were so important to us at the time, hardly has any value now.  So, if your friends perhaps have been stuck in a childhood bubble, [and if they willingly want to be there] leave them there and move on with your life.  Do what pelases you, as long as you live in harmony with God and your fellow-man.\nIIf your old friends cannot respect this, it solves the problem for you, isn't it?
464168
i guess you are putting up with it,after 13 years have you not learned anything.why do you do this to yourself.you need to move on and take care of yourself and find yourself.it is not right to live like that you deserve to be happy.
130756
Try NOT believing in fairy tales. You'll get further in life.
208599
Ma'am,Here's a solution for you...it works for me all the time. Do something you haven't done before in a long time...it can be something crazy too. Look,Miss Kelly, life is a many splendored thing. I come back from college some times and just go to my dorm room and scream because it can really suck sometimes. But as with everything else, you have to take the good with the bad. The only solution  to this is look at the bright side of things.You know, there's a saying I know, which says that the best way to brighten up is to make somebody happy along with you.Here's something I want you to read, and treasure for the rest of your life. I would have sent it to you personally, unfortunately, I do not have you private mailing details.\n\nDeciderata\nGo placidly amid the noise and haste; remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.  Speak your truth quietly and clearly and listen to others, even the dull and ignorant; they too have their story.  Avoid loud and aggressive persons; they are vexations to the spirit.  If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.  Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.  Keep interested in your own career, however humble, it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.  Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery.  But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals; and everywhere life is full of heroism.  Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection.  Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity & disenchantment it is perennial as the grass.  Take kindly to counsel of years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.  Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with imaginings.  Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.  Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself.  You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees & the stars; you have a right to be here.  And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.  Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labors & aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.  With all its sham, drudgery & broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world.  Be careful.  Strive to be happy.\n\nAs I said...keep it.You'll see the everything in a better light.
100170
I'm not sure what you're having is a mid-life crisis. I've always felt a mid-life crisis had to do with a man hitting an age where he became obsessed with the fact that his best years were behind him. Maybe you feel that way due to the issues you've faced at just 19. Either way you should talk to someone, friend & family are the place to start but if that's not an option seek professional help.\n\nLife is too short to spend it worried about death.\n\nGood luck.