Should I feel guilty and am I an a hole?
930220
Dude, you are a senior, its time you realize no one picks your friends but you. You hang out with who you want, it doesn't matter... you won't see half or more of them after this year anyways.
637877
dunce nobody. doesnt make sence i would feel guilty all the time
885137
geez, some people want to feel good about themselves at the expense of others feeling bad.  They don't realize that sometimes people get tired of being helped and they need some room for themselves.  I think I was guilty at one time of having done something similar but definitely not as bad.  I think I didn't do too bad though and I got the hint pretty early and gave the person some room.  \nThere really isn't much you can do besides telling the person that you're thankful for all they have done for you, but you need to stand on your own legs and spend time with your own family.  You could also tell her how bad it makes you feel that you're always being helped and you feel like it's time you enjoyed helping others as well.  Although I'm not sure that argument would do much, as this kind of person usually interprets everything with a different dictionary and stuff comes in one ear and goes out the other.\nI say forget "not wanting to hurt her feelings".  Sounds like you're a religious person.  Jesus said the truth the way it was and didn't worry much about other people's feelings.  He ended up getting crucified for it too... I guess he hurt a few feelings.  \nThe fact is that this person is selfish and doesn't realize that she is taking away your self esteem by taking your privacy and not letting you make it on your own.
509041
No, why would you feel guilty? No one got hurt, right? You both enjoyed it?\n\nThe only thing you might want to think about is if you are really interested in having a serious relationship with this guy, you might want to slow down a bit.\n\nMost guys don't take "easy" women that seriously.\n\nBut you shouldn't feel guilty at all.
286778
The fact that you feel bad tells me that you are a decent person,but if it's been four years and they aren't even talking,you did nothing wrong.With age comes wisdom,as a53yr old man I say let sleeping dogs lie.Now I know some people would disagree with me and I respect that,but I can't think of one good reason to tell.Go with your heart,do whats best for you and your friend,whatever you decide,good luck.
218309
Hello! Can understand what you mean. Have not got too much self-esteem neither... but I have come to accept that it is not okay for me to feel that way somehow. I want to change it. Think one really needs to decide deep within to change it. There are many beautiful suggestions here. A counsellour I saw some time ago told me that I should say out loud "I am a wrothwhile person and I deserve to be happy." ... and it worked. Just that I became kind of lazy :o) . What might help you as well is the link below. It might seem childish but it really does help. Enjoy it and good luck to feeling better toward yourself :-) !
31500
Depends on what your writing to him..If you feel guilty about it, then yes..If not than probably not in your case.
258282
yes sometimes\nbut when i think back that person really didn't deserve so much hate or attention from me. \ni guess often we feel like such when we personally feel insulted or hurt, but i guess its okay to think about it a little to vent it off and NOT do anything on it.
63403
YES!  I've let others hurt my feelings and make me doubt myself.  I've learned though that, it's up to me to allow that to hurt me or not.  I am responsible for my own feelings about myself and shouldn't let others make me feel bad or doubt myself.  I must love myself and not let anyone else shake that!\nI don't want anyone else to feel that way about themselves because of something I have said so, I try my best to be supportive instead of belittling or insensitive.
946342
No. I think what you should do is email them and tell them nicely that they have hurt your feelings. That'll make them feel bad and guilty and they might even apologise to you.
460582
I am currently dealing with the same situation. I have found that by giving to much you leave nothing for yourself. People will use you if you allow yourself to be used. My problems are mostly from family. I have come to the realization that if i wouldnt let a stranger treat me poorly why should i allow my family to do the same. Eight months ago i made a list of toxic people in my life and have started the ellimination process. It is very hard, i wont kid you. But, It has to be done. You are already to considerate or you wouldnt have such a question in the first place. Write a list of people that make you feel this way and next to each name write the pros and cons of your relationship with them. Evaluate and treat accordingly. Your life is to precious and short and you deserve better. We as a society have been taught to give but we have never been taught to receive graciuosly. We dont know how to accept compliments. Writing off friends and family is very difficult but you are allowed to feel good any time you want without regret or remorse. Its more exhausting being nice than being honest and straight forward. As with any change you have to do it slowly. You will feel very bad for a time but keep your long term goal in sight and do not share your plan with anyone or they may try to convince you not to write someone off. You have to allow yourslef to be at peace with your decisions. It will be the loss of a friend or family , like a death. You must go through the mourning process. Be good to your soul and it will reward you. Stay focused and you will allow you to reward yourself with a healthy life full of wonderful people. Good luck to you and yours.\n\n\nJoe
1082859
bro all the time, except I'm not spontaneous and never do. Chances are if you feel this way and if you are anything like me, you want to do this to run away from problems, if that's how you feel, the running away part is probablly not the best idea, the problems will tend to follow you where you go, your best bet is to stick it out and resolve the crap in your life, it may hurt and take time but you'll be happier for it. good luck and God bless
582269
You don't say why you feel you are a big disappointment to everyone in your life.  Personally, I don't truly believe that.\n\nYou are being harsh on yourself - you need to lighten up.\n\nWe are put on this earth, not so much to please others, but to please ourselves.  We can only do the best we can and that is all that is asked.  We are human beings - not perfect.\n\nStop believing that you are a big disappointment - because you are not.\n\nBetter days are ahead.\n\nGood Luck!
1124218
Don't feel guilty.  Get up and have a fantastic time with this new guy.  You aren't mourning, sweetie, you just broke up with someone!  Enjoy yourself and do what makes you happy!  Never feel guilty for doing something that makes you feel good!
1145564
yes, and no, i don't feel guilty
33883
They may feel bad later on, but I doubt you will ever know it. Unless they end up in a 12 step program and decide to make ammends. I have been hurt a dozen times and never had an apology. What I have done is remember to keep my side of the street clean and learn from my mistakes. The right guy will come along, but you need to be in the right space to deal with him. That means taking care of yourself and not being to co-dependent, not to mention, guys will have more respect for you if you keep your independance and don't let them walk all over you. I had to learn this the hard way! Good luck.
1144856
I suggest that you say something positive first like you are a very important friend to me or I really enjoy your company (if that's the case) but I really need alone time during the week of the convention.\n\nIf she's a good friend then she will care about your needs and not want to intrude on you.\n\nYour only obligation is to yourself. You have nothing to feel guilty about. Rather focus on how good it feels to honor yourself and your needs.\n\nShe is a grown woman and can take care of her own needs. You are not responsible for her feelings if she chooses to feel hurt.  Those feelings belong to her.