need men's opinion about an affair?
925660
hi, just wanted to say sorry for all the hurtful answers to your question.    i cant really say either way if he truly loves you or if there are other motives as to why he would keep in touch after so long. maybe he is hoping to have a relationship with his child at some point?  maybe he truly wants to be with you?  maybe you are a distraction? \nits hard to say. all you can do is pray, and ask for forgiveness for your sins, and ask to find the happiness you are longing for.\ngod bless
521146
Confront him about it. The truth will set you free:)
364308
you are in the wrong for starting an affair while you r still married. i think you and your husband need to go for marriage counselling. you should stop seeing this guy and stop using him as a fall out plan when things dont work out. marriage require a lot of work and commitment. you dont just go ouit  cause you found something easier to deal with...
1089103
it sounds like you've forgiven her for the affair (so drop it - i'm sure years from now it will come out if need be), but she hasn't forgiven herself.  perhaps you should tell you forgive and want a happy marriage and want to have sex like you used to.\n\ntell her you're willing to do whatever it takes to have a happy marriage again because you love her so.
532189
Cheating. "they are on a business meeting", hope that was the answer. If not then cry for he has gone to or will go to bed with that girl. The bitter truth
140233
Your dilemma is one that is all too common. You are probably right when you say that it is not ?just me.?  It takes two to make a marriage or break a   marriage, and it takes two to have an affair. The fact that he has always been ?a flirt? suggests that, at one time, he was that way with you. You probably responded in a way that made him feel special, wanted, and needed, and reinforced his flirting behavior. This ties in with the first and main reason why men have affairs: to feed  their ego. The problem with us males is that feeling good about ourselves, or meeting our ?ego needs,? is our primary goal in life. Therefore, the first reason why men get involved in affairs is that it feeds their egos. \n\nDon't worry your not alone nor the only one.   :)
479055
Oh you are toooooo kind!\n\nI would not stop at just telling their spouse....*smile*. \n\nget a photograph of the fornicators together and mass produce it...slip it into the bulletin at church...not as much fun embarrassing a man as it would be for a woman i wouldn't think..but yeah..i would be irrational!\n\nyes..i would definitely tell the other spouse...she is at risk for a disease from a cheating spouse. and so are you...who says that this is the first affair either of them have had?\n\nget yourself checked for std's.
546825
He could be cheating.  I had the same suspecting with my wife and I was correct. You or someone (Privet Investigator) need to follow him to see where he is going.  You can't confront him if you don't have proof. With that proof you can move things forward either as a married couple or ending the marriage.  I hope you are wrong. I never wish divorce on anyone
199912
Your husband may have an affair before but should this be a problem for your marriage now? Not necessarily, of course! As you are saying that things are just don't feel good, I would like to assume some probable reasons for this.\n\nFirst of all, it is all about your husband. He is still interested about that girl and trying to keep contact. If this is the fact, you cannot do anything to make things right. You should take a divorce.\n\nSecondly, it is all about your husband's x-girlfriend. She is trying to be your husband's 'friend' or willing to take him back to her life. In this case, help your husband to handle this situation and make him feel that you are always with him as long as he is on the right way.\n\nLast, but not the least, it is all about you. You knew the truth about the past of your husband and now you are just not able to control yourself when ou are thinking about that matter (I hope this is not the fact). In this case, try to understand the reality that having an affair in the past is quite possible. Love is all around and nobody wants to be lonely!\n\nHope I was able to cover all of the possible things and you are in one of those mentioned situations and also, you will handle all these successfully! Best of luck!
1030318
Would love to help but there is no question here. Did you delete it by accident?--Why do you think he has cheated?
274350
I agree those are what most people think, and the main one is Why? I think it comes down to, did I do something wrong, why did he/she do it? If your friends or family know about it and don't tell you I feel that's a huge betrayal. They either don't want to get involved but I think it's wrong for them not to, because then you look like a bigger fool when everyone around you knows but you. Both sexes need to be honest if they're cheating because it catches up  with them in the long run anyways. JMO
116781
Wow, I'm so sorry about that.  I think you should consider your feelings for him carefully.  If it were me, I think I would call off the wedding if you were planning on getting married soon.  You definitely should confront him on this but before you do, I would try to find out if he's done something like this before and if he has indeed cheated.  You can try going through his email and his cellphone/pda/dayplanner, etc. to look for numbers that don't look familiar.  It's a shame that you have to go snooping through his personal things but if he's cheating, he could be gambling with his and your life because of STDs etc.  Best wishes to you.  Your mind and heart will help you do the right thing.
124516
Your dilemma is one that is all too common. You are probably right when you say that it is not ?just me.? It takes two to make a marriage or break a marriage, and it takes two to have an affair. The fact that he has always been ?a flirt? suggests that, at one time, he was that way with you. You probably responded in a way that made him feel special, wanted, and needed, and reinforced his flirting behavior. This ties in with the first and main reason why men have affairs: to feed their ego. The problem with us males is that feeling good about ourselves, or meeting our ?ego needs,? is our primary goal in life. Therefore, the first reason why men get involved in affairs is that it feeds their egos. \n\nDon't worry your not alone nor the only one. :) \n\nIts a wild world out there. Anything can happen
503962
Ummmm hummm let me think.  STOP THE AFFAIR!!!!! for one that is your dad's friend.  Your dad is going to loose all respect for you when he finds out.  For two he is married and three that is tooo old!!!
621436
The first question should be: Why did my spouse cheat? Don't know whether or not if he/she will answer the question honestly, but the most important thing in a marriage is that each spouse gives him/herself wholeheartedly. It must be done selflessly, to show the other person that this IS a blissful marriage, and if it isn't, then let's make it one.\n\nIf a person cheats, then usually it is because of some form of negligence, whether it's in the bedroom or if it is emotional. Who knows? The cheater.  There are some marriages that are sub-par, in a sense. There are some that were forced, or pretend. Even in some good marriages, some feel that they need a "thrill" and seek other means. It's wrong, but it happens.\n\nWill I be one of those thrill seekers? No. Will it happen to me? No. But if ever I'm wrong, I would want to find out what part I played and how I could learn from it.
1015582
My opinion is that you don't really know a person to a satisfactory level if you didn't have sex with them. Sexual behavior reveals much more about a person than all words that can be said.\nAn affair is emotion AND sex.\nIf one of them misses, it's not an affair.
444807
First of all Thank you for serving our country! If you want to save this relationship you will have to work on the trust issue. But I would be concerned about her cheating again. Follow your heart.