My mum always taught me? to look after myself first because if you don't look after yourself you can't look
921693
Thank you for advice.
684709
I agree with what other ppl say. You can look up to other relatives, friends mum etc. About a year or two ago I asked this woman at church (who is baout my mums age) to teach me how to wear makeup- something a mum would normally teach their daughter. And it still felt special.
501151
it will be difficult unless you can prove that your mother cannot take care of herself without your help.
731470
If I understand your question you are asking 'Why Mom and Dads won't allow you to make your own way in life!?!'\nLittle One, I am a mother and let me tell you that being a mother is one of the most wonderfully joyful and painfully horrible jobs on this earth! We only want whats best for you and using our own experiences and our knowledge of the world is our way of teaching you so that you CAN go out and make your own way! However, because we are your parent we are afraid that you will make the same mistakes and be injured in your quest to find your way! As a mother, we love you more than our own lives and can't possibly bare the thought of you having to be harmed in any way shape or form if there is something we can say to you and do to prevent it! We don't want to stop you from becoming your own person and we know that we will not always be able to protect you but, as the Goddess is my witness it is impossible for us to stop being a mother just because you have become an adult! We have been there and done that! We don't want to tell you all of the horrible ugly things that have happened to us in our lives so we do the only thing we know how and that is to tell you, teach you, and for some, over protect you!\nYou are a part of us and for mothers, more so than fathers, it is a near impossiblity for us to let you go! We use your father to help fight our battles with you because they are normally physically stronger and men know physical, better than they know emotional. Because we can't bare the thought of you leaving and growing up and finding your own way, we struggle just as much as you do with the knowledge that you no longer need us! Not that you don't need us sometimes or maybe even more than sometimes. But, that you don't need us every moment of every day like you did when you were a child! \nJust because you have grown into a wonderful adult does not stop the fact that you are still our child and we can't bare the fact that you need someone or something more than us! \nAs for me, I have two daughters, two sons, and six and a half grandchildren and I still can't stop needing them to need me more than they need everyone one else in their lives. I love my daughter in laws and son in laws but I still see the mistakes they make and how it could have been avoided, had they just listened to a bit of what I taught them.\nLittle one, we don't want you to find your own way! We just want you to be aware of what really happens out there and be watchful and ever so careful! In a time where children don't want their parents and parents don't want their children be grateful that you have parents who love you so much that they can't seem to let go. Just be patient! Your doing fine! Just be more aware of what you say and always ask your parents advice! This gives them the sense that you care and that you respect their opinion! It will make the transition a bit easier! They will never fully understand their child's need to be on their own but eventually 'We' let go a bit more and become excited about your transition into adulthood!\n\nGood Luck Little One and I hope this helps\n\nBlessed Be
806847
You have it good but if you want to feel better about yourself, maybe you should get your own place and a job, if you are not working. You just need more independence. But it is still good that your parents are helping you out though. \n\nI use to feel the same way about my folks helping me out until someone told me never be ashame of having a great support system.
369397
That's a really tough question. I know in my grandmother's case she absolutely refused to have anyone do anything for her no matter how exhausted and/or hurt she was from doing things on her own. She was an extremely stubborn woman. We couldn't force her into accepting the help but she eventually got it whether she liked it or not. As it turned out it had devastated her to even the need the help. She was a very proud woman who had raised all eight of her children on her own. She couldn't ask and yet didn't have a problem refusing. She did come around though and realized it wasn't so bad afterall although not without many complaints as to how we weren't doing things correctly. I guess I'm saying if you're mother is hurting help her anyway but do it in such a way that it doesn't invade her privacy or stomp on her pride. It's hard getting older and needing things you didn't need before. Be patient with her. Good luck I hope it all works out. I have to admit I wasn't much help.
730846
I make a concious effort not to stare.  As soon as I notice something like that, I will casually look elsewhere without trying to make it look like I'm not trying to look.  If I have the opportunity to take a better look I will, but only if I am sure they will not see me looking.
120609
Personal independence is only a state of mind. People will never be totally independent. I will always depend on a bus-driver whenever I have to travel, or on a doctor, when I'm ill. The point is what or who you want to be independent from, and work for that. When you're done, you've become independent from that thing or person, and you'll begin to fight for your independence from another thing or person. But it never ends.
877615
Maybe to have to follow someone's directions all the time without thinking for yourself?
760663
It is their belief that after birth a woman is to stay in bed and not lift a finger, a family member needs to be their to do everything for her as I am sure that the NHS would not be able to provide someone to do this. \nIf you gave birth in another country whose belief system is different to yours, would you abide by their rules or follow your own beliefs. I would bet money on you doing your own thing.\n\n(ie, you were somewhere they believed the mother is not to touch the baby for so many days, I am sure you would go with what you believed and hugged your baby immediately.)
689440
Like you, I have a mother who insists upon providing me with far more "wisdom" than I might care to enjoy.  It gets frustrating, but you have to look at it from her perspective, as well as your own.\n\nFirst off, remember that by warning you about her mistakes, your mom is acknowledging that she made mistakes and trying (albeit misguidedly) to make up for them, which is more than most people do.  Second, remember that her warnings are primarily critiques of her own life, and not yours.  She would feel terrible if she failed to warn you about the things she experienced, and later in life, found that you needlessly went through the same traumas she did.  Third, be assertive and let her know, kindly, that you were there with her when she experienced many of the mistakes that she is warning you about, and that, with or without warnings, you have learned from the mistakes of her past.\n\nFinally, let her know that you appreciate her desire to help you, but that if she wants to truly help, she should imagine the helpful friend, rather than the wise friend she wishes she had had, because what you need far more than advice is practical, hands-on assistance.  And don't be afraid to follow your request with contact that is at least partly connected to the extent with which she complies with your request.  Good luck.
844349
I stayed with my dad until he died.  He wanted me to be safe and to take care of me and me of him.  So it worked out fine.  I was not ready to be independent and that was best for me to do in my situation.  I know other people may have looked down on me but that is their problem.  Just because I was not married or independent did not mean that I was stupid or crazy.  They did not and do not know me to judge me.  I did what I wanted and what was best for me.  Then I realized that as my dad got older and in worse health, that he needed me because he would have been all alone and could not be alone as his illness progressed.  One day he told me that he wanted me to stay and not to marry until he died.  That did make me feel good and useful and have a little more dignity when others would say things to me.  But all in all, I would not have changed a thing.  So you do what is best for you.  Your family is the most important thing, if they are good to you, so treasure them.  You will be out and on your own one day when you marry or find a boyfriend or go to college or move for other reasons.  So, do what is best for you. I think that you are lucky.  :)
446015
Your mum grew up in a different era.  What is right for you is not necessarily what was right for her.  Understand that she can't understand why you'd want to do that.  Agree to differ.
762792
before i even read on .. i was about to ask if she lost a baby ( honestly )\nyes this is what i believe ....and i think your mum should be trusted on her own instincts about that also\nshe wakes before she sees him out of fear of seeing it for herself i think ... she isnt ready for that yet ... but she will be im sure in time\ni am told that we visit with spirit during sleep\nmy mum sees my dad all the time ... he even gives her messages that she can validate later\nlove to you and mum xxx ( be happy that she has had this experience xxx )
291326
It means take care and look after yourself
477444
Mom is someone who would always what betterment of her children. so if she asks u to do something  that she thinks is right for u  then thats becoz she  loves u a lot & cares of u, i completely understand what u  must be going thru when ur mom fails understands ur  views of life ,but believe me that too is just becoz she loves u a lot , she still thinks that u are her little kid & she needs to take care of u . now at this stage , if u are not able top convince ur mom towards something , take  the help of another person who can convince her, any of ur moms freinds or her siblings or any elders in the family whom ur mom respects &  obeys & loves. make them understand the  facts  & ask them to convince or make ur mom understand that u are right .\n       One last thing  ur mom is a person who has brought u this  world , she is the one who has equal rights on  ur life as u do. becoz u are a part of her own self.\n        LOVE UR MOM A LOT , TRY TO KEEP HER HAPPY.\n\n AND ONE LAST THING  "ITS ALWAYS NICER TO WIN THE BATTLES WITH UR KINDNESS."\n\nBE EXTRA KIND TO UR MOM  MAKE HER FEEL THAT SHE IS VERY VERY VERY IMPORTANT TO U & U WANT HER HAPPY ALWAYS  TRUST ME , SHE WILL MELT FOR U .
956441
maybe if you take care of yourself