how can me and my bf get over this horrible tragedy?
915074
Ouch!  It will heal with time (in the mean time lay off anal sex, especially if this is what caused it in the first place!)
556185
Im sure you have been hurt once or twice in your live and as you know it takes time to get over that feeling.Just give him time but dont give up on him,shower him with attention,kindness,and love but dont smother him.Give him sometime to heal and breath but let him know in as many ways as you can that you are there for him and that you will love him,must of all is time heals all wounds.
404792
You just have to accept what happened and forgive him in your head. You'll probably never be able to forgive him in person though.
544279
In today's overly liberal society, they would suggest grief counseling, therapy, all sorts of stuff like that.  I think it's bullsh*t.  My father died last year, 4 months before his first grandson was born.  As painful as it was, I never forgot that in this life, all things happen for a reason, and everybody dies.  You will grieve.  And it will get better.  The pain you feel may seem extreme, but it's perfectly normal.  REAL pain is a kid with bone cancer, or a brain tumor.  Have faith, know he's in a better place, and celebrate his life rather than mourn for his loss.  Everybody dies sometime!
384109
I'm sorry you lost your father in such a tragic way. You never get over it, you just learn how to deal with it. I would go to a bereavement therapist or I would join a bereavement group in your area. It sounds like you have a lot of pain and you really need to vent instead of holding it all inside. May God bless you and may you find comfort in this hard time. Don't feel because it was 16 years ago, that you shouldn't grieve.
668018
good day to you,\n\n I understand what you are facing now. but you have to start first by asking forgiveness to the Lord our God and let him rule your life rather than you rule your own life. everybody had a mistake. but it's up to you to fix it. Try to reach God and feel His love deep into your heart. Talk to Him and it's more easier to overcome your problem by crying out all your pains while praying. His always there beside you and and never leave you all alone. He loved you very much simply because He still let see the brighter color of your life, grab this chance that He gave you. Then one day a big surprise will happen. God already touched your heart so don't let him go again. Pray everyday and let Him lead your life. And if you  do all this things, God will do the rest by healing your family's broken hearted.
420486
doing that to yourself is  not the answer. do you want your family to go through what your bf's family just did. i also lost someone close to me recently (younger brother) and know what it feels like to lose someone that you love very much. hurting yourself will not bring them back, but try and remember all the good things and times that you had with them and cherish them. Dont you think that he would be upset with you if you done something like that to harm yourself. even though he is not here with you he is still in your heart and sometimes that is closer than if he were still here. no one can take away his memory of him from you. Hold your head up and make him proud that he had the best girl by his side while he was here.
193640
If you really mean it.. let your emotion go in a personal one on one conversation and cry. \n\nAllow your heart to let your eyes weep and feel the remorse in your soul so you will never make that mistake again by remembering the pain it brought you and the person you are sorry to.
853822
That is Deep! I appreciate people taking the time to express their loss,their memories.I'm sorry for yours!At least you seem to have accepted the tragedy and found some peace.Life is so strange,it is 4 21am I have been up since 1 25 on this computer reading and trying to answer some things I know alittle about from life's experience.My boys are asleep,so is my dog.My wife died in my arms a month ago today,I could not help her with CPR nor could the rescue team,41 too young, but everyday I see her in my sons,it will take along time to recover, as they say!God Bless You too!
282603
Talk to the people at ALANON.  They will put you in touch with an appropriate grief counsellor who has dealt with this before.
227421
Just do your best to listen to him, even if he doesnt say much about it. My best friend in the Marine Corps was killed while we were in Iraq, and all I wanted from my fiance (wife now) was a shoulder, if I felt like shedding a tear, and an ear to listen. That is all I needed. She was there for me, and it helped a lot. You will never understand what he is going through, especially if they were very close, but you dont have to understand to be able to help. Dont press the issue if he doesnt want to talk about it, but I would mention it, in case he does want to talk. Ask how he is doing, but dont try to get any details from him. I feel for both of you and I wish you well.
849048
Sounds like your girlfriend isn't really in a "fun" mood right now, friend. Honestly, just be there for her. There is nothing you can say or do to help her get over such serious traumas, so always be ready to lend an ear or a hand. I promise this is help you guys get closer, and by the time she's ready to move on with her life, you'll have a better relationship than you would have without any og this.
430887
Its still really close...  Give it time, its a hard thing to deal with.  For now just take one day at a time as they come, and don't get overwhelmed.  Make sure you take care of yourself, and also be sure not to bottle up your emotions, 'cause that will only make things harder.  It probably sound cliche by now, but I'm sorry for your loss, and I hope things work out for you.
498124
I have been thru the same thing,,Remember the good times & hold those memories in your heart forever. Be happy that this person was in your life & remember the love you shared.Spend alot of time with those close to you.What kept me strong was being strong for my mother when my brother parished.Be there for someone that needs you.Its been 4 years,,the shock will never go away. Take care of yourself,,pamper yourself,,get alot of rest but stay active in your daily life.And remember we are all a part of the bigger picture.We will meet those again who have passed on to another level. I care.
72440
just be there for ur husband and spend some time doing something he likes to do just to get his mind off it for a little while.. I maybe only 16 but my uncle died of a heart attack and best friend killed herself because of a problem she was having.. My family was there for me and i was there for them. And it got us all though.. please write back and let me know what happens,christinekneifl@yahoo.com
240670
Why? If you could be more specific it would help! There are many things which upset us. Rarely things are impossible however! Share your feelings with trusted friends or family. Have hope!
1004769
WOW Ok i will give this a shot at!  First thing that came to my mind is , Don't Change anything. If you start to cuddle him more or start changing due to this news, he will feel like you feel sorry for him, and he will feel worse. Stay the way you are, The second thought is,,,He JUST  found out TODAY! So yes allot is going threw his head and will for awhile. Just be yourself, the women he fell in love with. Be there when he needs you. Stand by him. Don't make it the TOPIC everyday, let him bring it up. He will talk when the shock of it all has settled abit. JUST LOVE HIM AS YOU BEEN DOING! My prayers are with him & you.  Peace.