Help I am stuck between a rock and a hard place!! My cousin who is 12 is having problems with his step-dad.?
918540
Do NOT let that kid get into foster care. What ever you do it will be safer if he wasnt in foster care...Try to go to court and have the kid placed with you. The mother could sign custody papers over to you and he will be safe then... Try to talk to his mother about it there could be more... Like the step-father is also abusing the mother and thats why she wont leave him. Find out everything first.
437203
You will have my prayers... It is so nice to see a step-family situation where the love is there.. I am a step mom but love my kids and hope they love me as much as you seem to love your step dad.. I am sure he is a lucky man to have the support you are showing to him in this time of his need.. Remember that Our Lord and Savior is in control and loves you and your family.. Prayer and laughter is the best you can give your Step dad.. when things calm down rent a funny movie and sit down and laugh with him.. God Bless You and Your Family.. :)
322162
Keep talking to your brother,he seems to be the only person in your family acting like a grown-up!You are entitled to your beliefs and he is your brother,losing him would be like losing an arm,so keepthe lines of communication open and hopefully your parents and sister will come round,good luck,stay strong.
546280
Welcome to puberty and life with a teenager...particularly one with a stepfather. Just be as good a parent as you can be and talk with her when she will allow conversation. In the meantime try to figure out if she reacts the way she does due to some action she feels is unjust. Discipline without a relationship never works. If she is disrupting your family life constantly you and her mom need to find out why and try to correct this even if it is with a counselor.
1106930
I don't know the details but it sounds like you need to sit him\ndown and explain how you see the situation,because now it's\naffecting you. As for his family,don't give in-they have no right to\npush whatever problems they have with him on you.
1094430
ask ur cousin y he or she told u 2 stay away from him. if he or she has a good reason then u should probably stay away but if it is just because he or she doesn't like the guy then use ur good judgement.
535933
step children are always complicated if there a little older when you start a relationship,however if you have been with his father for a while and he was only quite young when the two of you got together then you can speak to him more freely,sit down talk to him about things he might like to do take an intrest in what he likes to do and try to do some if any just one of those things with him regulary so that he can see you do like him and what to be a part of him because you do have his daddy and he would feel threateneed by that at the moment,
962508
Well first I will comend you for taking care  of your grandchildren. It's not your place but you are good for doing it. Not to be harsh but it really sounds like your daughter is craving the wrong kind of attention from men. She needs a hard dose of reality that men like that are no good and often are the ones who are crazy. As for you and the children in your care i would seriously consider moving. However you can pretty much find anyone on the internet. It's a terrible situation you daughter has put you in. I dont believe the police will do anything unless he makes threats or actually harms you. The thing that sucks is the same basic rights protecting you are the same rights he has even though he is an abuser. IN ANY CASE if are afraid for your life or your loved ones I would still call the police and see what they can do. Because state laws vary i may not be accuate on what the police can or can not do. I'll say a prayer for you and I hope everything works out ok for yoy.
560616
I agree...restraining order!!!  That will help somewhat but with your bf cousin having a criminal background I doubt that will deter him much from being a pain in your life.   From now on I think any contact that there may be with him needs to be kept at as much of a civil level as possible so this guy doesn't get so heated and angry that he has an excuse in his mind to do damage.  With the restraining order you are able to call the police ANY time he is near and if he gets angry then the police will see that and then there is a pattern established on him that can be used later if need be.
802453
Sounds like she needs some mental help, with her mood swings and attitude. She has been your step-mother for 8 years, I think that is enough time to adjust. I would just do what she says, and don't give her any reason to get mad. Then, if she doesn't change, talk to your dad and tell him what is going on. No parent should choose their own happiness and partners over their children. If possible, and she doesn't change, go live with your mom. That is about your only options. Unless your step-mom gets on some meds to straighten her mood swings out. Good luck sweetie, and be strong for your sister. :)
739064
ok if hes 13 you must be the same age ? so you guys shouldnt be doing THAT THING how the hell do you know what to do lol i dunt know and nows he trying to get with your 11 year old cousin stay away from them both honestly
277579
Honey, I'm so sorry.  It all depends on if they work things out between them, but the truth is they may not even know at this time.  Please don't think it's your fault.  Adults have a lot of issues to deal with.  I'm sure your Dad loves you and misses you very much.  Include them in your prayers. I will too.
1076094
Right now, just don't take sides. Trust your boyfriend and try to keep your cousin out of your relationship. It doesn't matter who did or didn't. If you can keep them apart then do so. Tell your boyfriend that with the current situation, you don't feel comfortable with them being together. Make sure to tell him that you trust him. Don't make him feel like it's his fault or you may lose him.\n\n~Pancake
1043451
WOW~ greygoose martini hit the nail on the head.  I have always said the same thing!  Choose the mother or father of your children wisely so that you won't have to deal with any of this.\n\nMy view of this whole issue is that most people try to hurt the other through their children.  I hope that you aren't one of those people who just try to make your ex's life miserable. My sister is going through some stuff and her ex is a big jerk who says he is going to make her life a living hell until their child is 18.   He is just mad because she finally got the nerve to leave him after years of mental abuse.  Even the mediator said they won't have anything else to do with him because he is so meanspirited.\nHe says he is looking out for the best interest of his child but then he can't control himself not to call my sister names and say bad things about her to his child. \n He says he is going to quit his job so that she doesn't have any way of getting the support.  He would cut off his nose despite his face...what a loser.
220873
Sweetheart, I know exactly what your going through. My son lives with his dad,(We're all in Missouri). My son tells me how bad it is with his dad, and as I understood it, when he turns 12, he can go to the judge and say for himself that he wants to live with me. It sounds like you and my son are going through the very exact thing. If you can find a way to get to the Division of Family Services without your dad knowing, tell the people you want to go to a judge and tell him/her that you want to go to your mom's. I am a child advocate. I'd take you myself if I could. When you go to the Family Services, you need to let them know EVERY bad thing you are going through. They will investigate your dad, but no one has to know you made the report. If your mom agrees to have you come to her, then you, her, and the Family Services have a meeting at once. YOU ARE OLD ENOUGH TO MAKE THIS DECISION!!!\nGood luck and GOD BLESS
1074076
i think you were doing the right thing to tell the parent about your cousin's mis-behave once you discovered it.  i would appreciate you very much if i was the mother.  unfortunately, she was too weak to face the serious problem, she was in denial, in stead of to talk to her daughter to teach her well, she could only blame it on you which she was so wrong.  i really think that you should not feel bad at all because you did not do anything wrong but try to help to set her daughter straight.  you really don't have to worry about your aunt saying nasty things about you to your mom, as long as you know all those are not true.  no one can please everybody, as long as we know we are doing the right thing, we can sleep well at night.  i know you value your sisterhood very much with your cousin, but...  are you sure you want to take the risk to hang out with her?  she is 17, she is not so behave, her mom disapproves you seeing her... i won't want to see her if i am you... you can put yourself in trouble because if she does drink and drug and strip again in your house, her mom may accuse you again and may take legal action to against you because it happens in your house and she is a minor.  michael jackson is a very good example...
918930
I suggest that the three of you arrange some time for the three of you to sit down and talk. Explain to your daughter that you are happy with this man and that you want to continue having a relationship with him. Tell her how much the both of them mean to you and that he is not your ex-husband and would never dream of hurting either your or her verbally or physically. Ask her why she disapproves of him. Ask him how her disapproval makes him. Tell her how much her disapproval hurts. And, than ask her if she would sit aside her differences and give him a chance for just a little while. Make sure that everyone gives their input on the matter.