how come when i get into an arguement whether...........?
926498
There are a few things going on here.  One is that you question your self-worth and the value of your ideas after you have defended them.  Another is that you most likely hate confrontation or "getting into it" with another person.  You value their opinions, but sometimes you just WISH they'd stop and LISTEN to yours also.  Having to almost force someone to listen gets old.  Another thing could possibly be your afraid they really are mad at you and now think less of you and your friendship, when all they need is a small break to think about things.  Its rare to lose a true friend over a silly argument, and in the long run most arguments are just that.  Try to realize that you are JUST AS VALUABLE AND WORTHWHILE, SMART AND KIND as anyone else.  You have every right to contribute your thoughts and ideas, on the other hand, is what their saying really making any sense and do you really want to be a part of it? lol\n\nEither way, good luck!  I suggest you keep a journal of your positive thoughts for each day.  No negative ones, just those that inspire you, and make your life have direction.  Those things that give you ideas, hobbies, etc., when you get depressed you can thumb through this and find hope.  Perhaps even start a collage or something positive just for yourself.  \n\nJust remember your life is really about to begin and when you start school and/or work; you will need to put up with alot of distractions, if necessary consult a doctor for something for anxiety (which is what it sounds like you have) and see if that helps.  If you still feel bad after the first 30 days, return to see if he can upgrade your prescription.
961985
No, I get it. People ask a question, and then choose the people who side with their point of view. It happens alot. I tr to honestley choose the answer that actually answered my question, even if I disagree.\n\nSometimes though, ALL the answers avoid the question, (I have one up about remarriage right now, like that) and none of them address the issue, so picking one then is really difficult.
829655
Turn around and walk away.   And never, ever discuss religion, politics or sports and also, whenever possible, mind your own business.  Do all that and you'll never be in an argumentative situation.\n-MM
706459
Why do you fight? What do you fight over?\n\nPerhaps you should be the one to compromise first
453919
Some people want to ask you "your opinion" on many things in life.  Then when you offer it, they want to argue with you about your opinion.  What they really wanted wasn't your opinion, but rather for you to agree with them on their opinion.\n\nI have told a person more than once who wanted to argue with me about an opinion, "Hey, you asked me my opinion and I gave it to you.  I'm comfortable with you not agreeing with me.  Why can't you be comfortable with me not agreeing with you?"
789508
Why don't you ask a question you really want answered? Looks like you just want an argument.
387465
if youre going to argue...do it while having sex. \n\n(shrugs)
894920
I have the same problem.  People always say "think b4 u talk", but that's fricking hard!  There are only a few seconds to which there is time alloted for you to think of an answer.  Then the person leaves you in the dust.  It's like a reflex...you defend yourself before anyone else has a chance to inflict another blow.  Next time, just relax yourself b4 a conversation and remind yourself not to lash out, no matter what.  Of course, you will forget to remind yourself after a while, but the next lash-out will bring you crashing back down to earth.  But for now...just apologize to the girl and explain that you didnt know what you were saying.  She should understand.  It is hard to deal with this stuff, but you will get over it.  Dont dwell on anything.
981462
I hate it when that happens. I get on a roll and I'm in a zone passing time by entertaining myself and then all the sudden they kick me. It does suck. It seems like every time they shut me down, there are good questions galore.
694623
I would TRY to take this up with you but clearly you are a brain washed nit wit that only wants to start a fight.\n\nA wise man seeks enlightenment and understanding of opposing views not to agitate and start fights.
1051938
when i get mad, i usually just vent out and that's it... there's no need to get even. i just talk to the person concerned (of course after i have already calmed down) so we can have this straightened out. you don't have to get even, it will make matters worse.
508339
First off, if you care for this man, you should also care for his point of view and his opinions. Arguments are an interchange of ideas, a way at arriving at some final truth. You seem to use them as a way to dominate the man you supposedly "love".\n\nIt sounds as though, during an argument, if you don't win the fight, you withhold sex, thereby "punishing" BOTH of you! Who wins then?  If you feel sex is something you can use to bludgeon your partner into giving in everytime you two argue, I predict a long, lonely life for you. I hope you'll grow up and realize that's not love, that's a power trip. Love is a state of mind where you're only happy if the person you love is happy. I cannot believe either of you is happy after you finish an argument.
970401
Yes, I've had a problem with this myself. Altering the way you deal with things will only happen over time. If you think about it, you've reacted a certain way all your life so changing things around will take time and patience (which of course is something you don't have!! Don't worry, the irony was not lost on me either!)\n\nFirst of all, accept the things you cannot change. In my experience there are a lot of árseholes out there, certain friends of mine will always be very money oriented and my first marriage did not work out. I no longer fight it, I accept it. \n\nThis is going to sound like self-help book bull but when someone is mean to you, or does something to fundamentally upset you, respond with a smile and with kindness. It really throws them which is amusing and which in turn makes you less angry. \n\nWhen it comes to interpersonal relationships (i.e. wife/husband/mum/dad) have a mental look at your previous arguments and see how they went. Do you labour on a point relentlessly? If so, did it get you anywhere? Have you ever recorded yourself having an argument? Do you look "sane" and rational? Chances are that you don't. When you are having a 'heated discussion' stick calmly to the one point you are debating and don't let it become a list of everything that person ever did to annoy you. And remember, once you raise your voice your point is invalid.
1065420
everybody gets contentious.  it is a bad habit, it is argument for the sake of argument, it used to be called being ornery
133490
If it doesn't have anything to do with you, politely tell both sides that you'd prefer not to get caught up in this and that they need to solve their disagreement themselve. You do not want to take sides and it's best to just walk away and let them fight it out. Good luck, =)
645193
to piss you off. that is what happened to me and i got into a fight.
647674
Settling is wrong, and if thats what this feels like MOST OF THE TIME, then think about whether or not someone else could make you as happy as your boyfriened does when he isn't ticking you off. Sometimes someone annoys you or makes you sad sometimes, but you still love them more than anyone else in the world, and you're still happy with them most of the time. \n\nThen, realize that some males think that arguing/debating is a way to keep things fiery. I've had to explain to my husband that I hate fighting of any kind because I grew up in a very explosive household, and that sometimes the smallest disagreement will make me incredibly nervous and sad. He responds that if I have a different opinion, he wants me to express it. Neither of us are wrong, there just has to be a compromise.\n\nI suggest you tell him that if he wants to debate with you, fine - but it MUST NOT become personal - at all. Also, tell him that if he doesn't respect your opinion or think its "good enough" then he shouldn't bother arguing with you about that particular subject. You two can debate - but not argue. He needs to understand the difference, and understand why it matters to you. Tell him you want most of all to get along with him and make him happy and be happy, and that constantly expressing your different opinions makes that very difficult to achieve.\n\nGive him time. Lots of it. \n\nI hope I helped.