How can I protect my son from domestic violence over at my ex wife's house?
930334
Apply for custody via your lawyer.
228280
Yes this is domestic abuse. It usually get worst no better if he do not get help. Try to get out as soon as you can but if you can not....\n\n1.take pictures of injuries- this can be use later if you need to go to court.\n2.Let someone know what is going on- incause something happen to you.\n3.Try save up some money, and extra fifty from the bill money (tape it under a draw.\n4.call the police, if it a shared space the police will take him to jail and you can get a restraining order.\n\nGood luck
759077
You and the ex need to set your issues aside and discuss how you are going to raise the son, putting his best interests first. He is playing you both, that's what kids do, even in homes with both parents. You have to decide on a course of action and stick with it, consistency is one of the most difficult things but shows the child you both mean business. Let your ex know that you're interested in his help, but he needs to stick to the plan. You need to support one another in this. I hope you are able to do this, or the son will continue to go back and forth until he's on his own. It won't create a stability within him - be responsible, not emotional and talk w/the ex. Hope it works out. You can do it!
951573
I hate to say it but I believe you have a reason to be concerned about your soon to be ex-husband's visits to your son even though they are supervised.  \nMy suggestion would to make sure your attorney has the information.  Due to his past history make your request for supervised visitation be a non negotiable point in the divorce.  Make sure your attorney brings it up to the judge.  Usually at some point the judge will ask you if you have anything to say.  Tell him/her yes.  Explain the abuse and drugs and so on to the judge.  Have it written down at least the key points so you remember everthing you want to say to the judge that way you don't leave anything out.    \nAlso for your peace of mind, I would suggest you talk to a therapist or member of clergy to help you deal with your feelings about him and his behaviors.  \nSomeday you will find that special someone who will love you and your son.  He will be the best person for you and your son.  \nBest of luck
408371
First of all, and unfortunately or fortunately for you, because your child is 12 they can decide where they want to live. At least in the state of Washington they can. It may be different where you live. Unless there are circumstances where there is abuse or neglect, though, you may have a hard time depending on where you are and what the laws are.\nThe first thing I would do is to contact your local Department of Social & Health Services and speak with someone there about what your rights are and can be done or not done for you based on your income. It's quite possible that if your income is lower they could provide you with financial help. However, you should be aware that if you're in need of financial help and your ex-husband is not, it's going to make your situation harder as he can financially support her and you can't. \nCall those people though, it's a start and if nothing else they can lead you in the right direction.\nGood Luck!
904438
Talk to a lawyer, If he has to pay child support.  As far as your son is concerned, Your ex obviously doesn't care.  If he was a good man and father he would make an effort.  I hope your new husband is a good man and is trying to make an effort.  Any man that doesn't care about his children or his wife's children is not a man.  \nBe there for your boy he needs support and a father figure, whether it's your father or husband he needs a father figure.  Not a replacement, he already has a dad, even if he is a dead beat.
1047222
I would contact your local domestic abuse organization/women's shelter to help you make a plan to leave. The safety of yourself and your kids is absolutely important. They can help you gather materials you will need before you leave (like records, identification, etc.)\n\nThey will also have advice on getting legal help as well. They can connect you to where you can protect yourself and your kids. They can help you prepare a restraining order and help you with the legal hoops. \n\nMental abuse is a bad influence on your children, it teaches them that it is okay to treat people like that and they can repeat that pattern when they become adults.
950206
FIle a police report. Texas has stalking laws. If that fails you can get a court order through your divorce which will keep him from coming near. Good luck.
1131901
Any type of physical abuse is wrong and is against the law - no matter what your local law enforcement officers seem to be telling you, because this is a form of domestic violence.  Here are some web sites that may help you:\n\nhttp://www.suite101.com/lesson.cfm/16655/157/4\nthis one sort of explains the entire process of why children abuse parents - interesting reading and may help you figure some things out.\n\nYour official state web site also has links to help you - try this one:\n\nhttp://www.211infoline.org/\nand look for the "2-1-1 Info Hotline" link that will put you in touch with agencies that specialize in situations such as yours, that can offer you support and advise.\n\nChildren learn from their parents . . .  so there is a chance that your step-son learned this behavior from his father.  Also, please remember that your younger children are also watching and learning.\n\nTake the steps you need to protect yourself and your family.  Good luck.
962508
Well first I will comend you for taking care  of your grandchildren. It's not your place but you are good for doing it. Not to be harsh but it really sounds like your daughter is craving the wrong kind of attention from men. She needs a hard dose of reality that men like that are no good and often are the ones who are crazy. As for you and the children in your care i would seriously consider moving. However you can pretty much find anyone on the internet. It's a terrible situation you daughter has put you in. I dont believe the police will do anything unless he makes threats or actually harms you. The thing that sucks is the same basic rights protecting you are the same rights he has even though he is an abuser. IN ANY CASE if are afraid for your life or your loved ones I would still call the police and see what they can do. Because state laws vary i may not be accuate on what the police can or can not do. I'll say a prayer for you and I hope everything works out ok for yoy.
857925
If he ever threatens you with bodily harm or anything, file for a restraining order or protective order.  Given his criminal history, it may be possible for him to only be allowed court supervised visitation of the child.  You were right to demand that he only see the child during the court oredered visitation.  Do not feel one bit guilty about that.  As for the money, if the child is old enough to listen to what he says, the child is old enough to listen to what you say as well.  Tell the child that the money is what he is required to pay for supporting his child and it is not stolen, but is his responsibility to pay so you can feed the child.  That is honest.  Don't bad-mouth the father to the child.  Just state the facts without emotion.  Kids are pretty smart and can put it together. :o)\n\nDo be careful.  You might consider making sure you have good locks on your home and keep it locked all the time to protect yourself.  The law is on your side, so stick to it.  Don't play his game.  I told my ex that I wasn't his wife anymore and didn't have to fight with him, but that he could contact my attorney and/or the state child support office.  They get paid to deal with him so I don't have to.  You don't have to fight with your ex either.\n\nIf he ever threatens you bodily in any way.... take legal action immediately.  Do not hesitate to call the police and file a protective order.  We all have heard the horror stories of what twisted men do to women they supposedly "loved" at some point.  Be careful and use wisdom.\n\nBest Wishes,\n\nSue
427579
I'd hire a hit man!!!! No really I would pursue ever legal avenue I had and make his life a living hell. Nothing worse than a woman scorned. If I didn't have money I'd go to legal aide or petition the courts. You have a right to child support and he should provide it. Then again if you're making it and don't need him get on with it. It all depends on how much you want him in your life. But boy is he's tangled up with another woman, there would be heck to pay at the very least. I am so sorry that the father of your son is a dog and that your son does not have a good roll model. I can't even imagine what you must be going through. There are great men out there, although I'm sure you'll have to learn to trust them again. Hang in There.
360220
It's unlikely he can get custody, but you need some support to help you deal with this situation.\n\nTalk to your GP, they can give useful advice.  Is there a family centre near you? You can ask the staff for advice, they  know about that sort of thing and can be very helpful.\n\nIf he frightens you talk to the police.  Don't call 999, find out the number for your community police officer or call you local station.\n\nWomens Aid are good too, mental abuse is still domestic violence:\n0808 2000 247\n \n"Freephone 24 Hour National Domestic Violence Helpline (England)  run in partnership between Women’s Aid and Refuge\nThe Helpline service provides emotional and practical support and information to women and children experiencing domestic violence. The Helpline also offers support and information to friends, family members and external agencies that are calling on behalf of a woman."
104806
Sounds like the only one creating issues here is the ex. She is trying to control your life, if you let her do that now it only unleashes her to have control dangling your son as the means to keep you doing what she wants. That relationship is over. DO NOT GIVE HER ANY CONTROL. She cannot keep your son from you. Hire an attorney and through the courts establish a visitation schedule. If she goes against it she will be in contempt of court and could possibly face jail time. As for your current girl, be completely honest with her about whats going on, be prepared for angry outburst. She loves you and will be angry about the threat that the ex has made. Communicate and come up with a game plan, the attorney, court, visistation etc. If you cannot afford an atty. contact the legal aide services in your area, they will provide you with one sometimes for free but most likely a fee in accordance to your income. Unless the child is endangered under the care of his mother, you should not take custody away from her. A child needs both parents and this traumatic event may scar him for life. Instead keep your cool, no matter what, let the ex be the dramtic physcho, do things according to the law. Pay your child support and follow any guidance the judge imposes and it will serve you well. Again it is important to maintain a calm composure, air out your frustrations with friends. When you have your son for a visitation, keep it positive, loving, and within a secure comfortable surrounding. The important thing here is that you are happy and being a positive role model for your son. So if this girl you want to marry makes you happy, go for it. Do not let the ex know your intentions it is none of her business. When you apply for a joint custody hearing she'll find out through the papers she recieves. I would have as little contact or communication with the ex as possible. You can also set up to have a chaperoned drop off sight when you pick up and drop off your son. If teh ex wants to act this way let her suffer the consequence for behaving like an immature person. For future reference, check the legal age at which your son is allowed to declare which parent he wants to reside with, in my state it is 12 yrs old. If you handle this right your son may feel more comfortable with you than with his mother and when he is of age you can ask him if he'd like to talk to the judge about living with you. One more important word of advise, NEVER badtalk his mother to him. Regardless of how you feel, that is his mother. A child will become confused and be mentally and emotionally damaged when the parents bad mouth each other. If the ex bad mouths you, there is nothing you can do for it, but again be the bigger person. Your son will learn from the experience and determine his own opinion of each of you by the relationship he has with you both. Be strong, you've certainly a rocky road ahead of you, but it will be worth it in the end if you do things this way. Good luck to you.
450624
Start with a restraining order. It should have more details.
358795
Get a restraining order.
222095
Contact a local organization that specializes in assisting victims of domestic violence.  See the link below for more info.\n\nBest of luck.