How do you stay with a spouse that is lousy in bed?
923103
You could try a few things, some of which you might find awful, but I'll list a few.  Others can add to the list:\n\nMake sure he finds YOU to be good in bed.\n\nGet sex ed books, tapes, DVDs.  Read & watch with him.\n\nTry using porn.  Show him what you like on the movie.\n\nGo to sex therapy.\n\nGo to regular old marriage counseling.\n\nI wish you all the best.  I'm sorry if some of my answers sound crude, but sometimes, crude works.
1179387
Many times we take our frustration and or anger out on the person who is closest to us which is usually the one we love the most! Plan a "date night" with your husband! Tell him in advance that the two of you are going out to dinner together. Pick a restaurant that both of you enjoy. Wear something you know he finds sexy on you. Once this day comes, you are going to start off with a whole new attitude! You are going to be more positive about things. Yes there are things that will get us down but don't let it keep you down, no more S.H.I.T. !!!! From here on you are going to see the brighter side of things! That evening at dinner talk about all of the wonderful things the TWO of you have done TOGETHER! Reminisce about your wedding day, anything of the wonderful things that two of you have done! Also, tell him how after dinner you are going to take him home and the two of you are going to get absolutely wild in bed! After this, wake up each day and realize how good you have things. A wonderful, loving husband, a good family life and all of the other things you may have! Take a positve outlook on things and you will stop giving him that other thing you mentioned. By doing this you will help yourself mostly but also your marriage too!\nGood luck!
498043
Love your spouse, be friends with your spouse, be yourself and remember that sex is not what keeps you together (it is nice) but there is more to mariage.
937532
take charge.  try taking a shower together, if u have kids get a babysitter and then plan a sex night with u doing all the work.  use oral to get him going and then have him lay on his back and u mount him.  to often we men get tired of doing all the sex work and just want our women to let us lay back and enjoy, unfortunately most women are to lazy to do this.  if u want him to go down on u have him lay back and u sit on his face.  GET THE PICTURE.  for once let him enjoy sex instead of working his butt off for it
558311
How about seeing a doctor together and maybe getting a referral to a sex therapist.  There may be some medical solutions.  Even if there isn't, there are a whole host of things that a sex therapist can open up your mind to, that could help bring the spice back into your sex life.  \n\nYou are a very honest person and obviously love your husband.  So, try reaching out with the same question to a professional physician or psychologist who can get you back on the same path together.
1140626
I have only been married for 7 months now, my husband is 33 and I'm 23.  We have only had sex once since we've been married which was two weeks after our wedding day and it was terrible for my first time.  Since then my husband cannot kept an erection and I feel the marriage is not going to last.  He refuses to seek help about it and feels being in a sexless marriage is fine, but not for me.  I was so excited to be able to be with him that way, but my dreams are crushed.  Because of this we fight often, don't talk as much, and I don't even like sleeping in the bed with him.  Its hard being in this situation...for anyone.  You feel lonely, upset, unloved, and abused at times.  Its funny because most of the time this happens later down the road into a marriage but for me and many other young couples, it happens quite often now and days.  Yes, there are plenty of wives with this problem and it hurts, all you can do is pray and ask God for guidance.  Talk to your spouse about it and tell him how you feel, get counseling if you can, and turn to your good friends and family for advice and comfort.  I hope everything gets better for you and everyone else in this situation.\n\nTake care
241071
Apparently you have as much command in bed as you do of the English language-- your question makes little to no sense.\n\nBetter get a divorce lawyer on stipend.  Or get some viagra.
906589
Talk to each other. Since you’re the one who is aware of the problem then I would recommend that you initiate a discussion with your husband about your sexual concerns. If you’re afraid to, then the problem that you just mentioned is not confined to the bedroom. Sex is communication and more often than not good sexual communication is reflective of good overall communication between partners. If you’re afraid to create conflict, than you will most likely shy away from one another in all areas of your life.\n\nIf your husband responds positively to discussing your sexual relationship, then you’re on your way to solving your problems. Not knowing your sexual history, I can’t comment on your experience and knowledge about sexuality. One thing you should know is that very few couples intuitively know how to pleasure each other. To create a mutually satisfying and loving sexual relationship takes awareness and knowledge. The two of you need to spend time reading about sexual techniques. By doing so, you can learn the "what and how" of sexual pleasure. If you go to our Bookstore, you can find a number of excellent books on sexuality.\n\nLike with the above couple, I would recommend that you spend time exploring each other’s bodies. Ask each other what it is that is sexual stimulating. Demonstrate by taking your partner’s hand and placing it on the exact pleasure spot. This is the best way to improve your sexual connection.
176747
i had the same. Just dump him. It relieves alot of your shoulders believe me. I wouldn't stay with him if you both believe that you are not good together other wise it will be worse when you spend ages together.
404041
im in the same position right now. my partner is at least 100lbs overweight and im disgusted with him on many levels. not just the physical part, but his whole attitude. plus sex is unpleasant because i have back problems. i exercise, watch what i eat and am very conscious about my health. he his completely opposite. unfortunately, i cant go anywhere because im completing college and am financially dependant on him with my two children. its tough to be in this situation, i dont even sleep in the same bed with him because theres no room. we should hook them up together.
623604
I am in charge in the bedroom. Things go better for the both of us that way. When I take control, I satisfy her needs first, then worry about mine later.\nIf you laugh, tell him that he tickled you. Don't tell him that you were thinking about something funny, because we want you to be thinking about us.
1083029
On my experience, communication is very important. If something is wrong tell your partner about it honestly and if it's about him, tell him about it nicely, at the right time, at the right place. Also make time for one another. Others think that having sex is already time for one another but that's not it. When your spouse comes back from work, make an effort if you can like wait at the door to greet him/her just to make your partner feel special and want. That you are excited to be in his/her presence. Also even just 10-15 minutes, just hugging or kissing, or just a simple conversation about what happen with his/her days while cuddling, simple things like this really means alot to a relationship. Or if you have time on the weekend go out for dinner or just cruise around, go to the beach watch sunset, exercise together stuff like that.
11555
Honesty is the best policy. Tell your spouse how you are feeling and what has been going through your mind. Then go in together and get some good marital counseling. Oh, and getting rid of the computer until the health of your marriage recovers is indeed a good idea.
759758
Well... tell you what, if the gf's are not a good sub, then go out to a toy store and get a best friend, there are alot of toys that will do the trick if you miss him sexually.   If you are just missing his company then consider getting a puppy.  They really work!  I am a single mom of two and my puppy takes my mind off things, feeling lonely and so on.\n\n If your hubby is working hard to provide you and your future family with a comfortable life, be grateful!   He is not spending his time out there having an affair or partying with  his buddies and getting drunk and mistreating you.  He needs for you to be supportive.  I know it is hard sometimes, in some situations not to be selfish, we all want to be 100% happy but usually this spells out sacrifice.  Enjoy this "free time" on your own, once you start having children trust me...your whole world is going to be turned around in a 360.  Get a toy!  Get a dog!  Good luck in your marriage.  :)
383417
Let him catch you in bed with another woman.... oh hang on, that might not work... another man may be better
67976
It is not that he is not good in bed.  The problem is that you are encouraging him to do the wrong thing by lying to him!\n\nGuys are most vulnerable when in bed, they are there to try to please you, and you just crushed him!  Say you are very, very sorry for lying then make it right!\n\nBe honest.  Let him know what he can do to get you to orgasm.  If you don't know yourself, buy a book on love making and start at page one, and figure it out.
771968
Honey\n\nYou and your hubby need to move out!\n\nEven if you have to live in a small dump, its better than putting up with the stress!!\n\nMove out soon!