My wife tells me that I am "distant" to my 2 year old nephew and appear uninterested. i am only his uncle
926397
One of the few better questions...I'll try to keep this brief and to the main points.\n\nThe dream is simply a stress relief mechanism, which is trying to compensate for the emotions which you've been feeling over all this stuff.  Nothing to worry about.\n\nYou thoughts sound totally lucid and normal.  My first comment would be that your spouse seems to lack understanding and has an unreasonable expectation.  I'd have a talk with her and explain to her what you just told us.  She needs to respect your feelings and position above all others, including the inoccent nephew in question.  \n\nSecondly, you have no obligation towards this nephew.  We are all different and feel connections in different ways.  He'll pick his favorite uncle without regard for your feelings.  I wouldn't worry further over this.    \n\nAdditionally, it is insensitive and out of bounds for this brother-in-law to make judgments or take matters into his own hands (scolding), regardless of his opinions.  Part of your remedy, may include externalizing some of your thoughts in a positive, progressive, constructive manner, with those who are making you feel this way.  \n\nNotwithstanding, while getting these feelings off your chest may help, but truly the real solution is to simply know within yourself that you are normal and not in the wrong.  You are a husband and father who does your best to do the right thing.  Others may not understand or agree, but that is their perspective.  If need be, they can keep their opinions to themselves.  Mutual respect is the key to understanding and compatibility with family and friends.  I'm afraid the you haven't received or demanded the respect that you deserve.  Just a thought?   \n\nGood luck!
914867
Ask him where this is going. Just because you have a child with him does not attach you indefinately to someone who doesn't want you completely. If he has a hard time answering you, maybe you need to consider if you'd be better off without him.
872225
Oh my, you seem to be a very nice person, almost to the point of dysfunctional.  A bit of assertiveness would help you out quite a bit b/c I bet it's not just an annoying neighbor you have a hard time saying no too.\n\nFirst, it's necessary for you to learn to meet your own needs.  "NO" is a big part of this concept.  You do not have to be rude or lie but you will have to practice.\n\nMary, while I'd love to visit, I am bogged down today, so we'll save this for another time.  Thanks  for understanding.  \n\nMary, I hear your frustrations, but let's keep this conversation on a pleasant note, shall we?  \n\nMary, at times I do enjoy our visits, but I must insist that you call first to check if I'm busy with the children.  You'll do that for me won't you?\n\nSo give it some practice and good luck.\n\nPeace.
788040
Hi, \nI'm sorry to hear that your daughter is not thinking of you & just doing what her boyfriend wants. This really sounds like my daughters boyfriend. I would not cater to him or her. Just be polite & don't try to please him. I'm sure that you told her how you feel. If not then I would do that before the holidays. No matter how he is she is the one going along with spending the holidays with him & his family. So, even though he seems like a jerk, she is being insensitive to you & your husband. Tell her how you feel & if she still keeps doing that then don't invite her. Make you own plans without her. On top of this don't let him come into your home & show any disrespect either. I hope that this can help in some way. Have a wonderful Thanksgiving & holidays with or without her attending.
363813
I put you on my contact list, if you accept it. I hope you don't mined, but I think of you like one of my other nephews. Before I got married I had none, now that I married my husband I have tons.
528540
how old is your nephew
305039
It is admirable what he is doing but without question they will form a relationship around that child that you do not have. Now that's not bad if  he is true. If he is not you could find that the significance of the bond between a man and a child can become more important than the bond between you and him. At least for a moment. Talk to him with out accusing him but let him know that you support his efforts but not in place of his feelings for you.\nIs the baby calling him daddy or are the two of you auntie and uncle?
235362
You will get over it but it will be along time. You need to sit her down and find out the reason. Do she dislike you for any reason or is she just being foolish. I think it's foolish. There's no way in hell she can keep you from keeping your grandchild. What do your son say about that? Is he okay with it or what. That's not right. Try to talk to the both of them and see what happen. Good luck. Let God be on your side.
421745
I am sorry you seem to be having problems with communication and you aren't alone. A lot of couples don't know how to communicate, and even when they do it's not constructive communication. My suggestion to you is to seek counseling. Even if she isn't willing to go along, at least it can open your eyes and maybe you will be able to sort out your feelings. You do have a daughter, however do not make the same mistake so many others have made. Don't stay together just for the kids sake. Believe me, children sense when the relationship isn't happy. You have to do what's best for everyone involved. So good luck to you!
10563
In my immediate family..there are 2 of us.\n\nHow are you defining kids?
643693
When my wife told me she did not consider me to be any part of her family at all, after we'd been married 3 years.
333866
My heart goes out to you. I unfortunately have learned to live with the same type situation. Your daughter in law is probably suffering from low self esteem among other things and is probably really making things hard for your son as well. I have discovered that the sweet girl that I thought would be prefect for my son is the terror I hoped he would never have to deal with.  My daughter in law not only tries to manipulate my sons family life, but his work and social life as well. More than likely your son is going through the same thing. I dont recommend apologizing for things you didnt do though. She will try to manipulate you and your son forever, all we do is bite our tongues and let our son know that we love him, no matter what. We just pray one day he will take the upper hand and let her know that it is not OK to treat his family like she does.  (She also withholds our 3yr old granddaughter from us). Good luck to you, I know how painful this situation is.
414395
sounds awfully familar to me, if you want to be lazy and throw in the towel be my guest, and if he always wants to hang out with is friends and not you and that bothers you maybe you should try to be a person worth hanging out with.  you had a child together you didn't die in childbirth get a life, get things to intrest you be them hobbies or whatever if you want someone to be interested in you be interesting.
76837
Hey bro, I feel bad for you. It sounds like you have tried working with her about this. It sounds like you have been patient.You are going to need to make some tough chocies.You are going to need to find out what's really the problem ( her not feeling sexy?,is she having an affair?,not in love with you anymore?,have you done something since your daughter was born to make her act this way?,ect..)You sound like you love her and your daughter and don't want to leave. It sounds like she's not willing to kiss, be romantic,or try to see a doctor about this.To me if she just wants to be friends and isn't willing to change then maybe it's time for you to re-think things out about what you what you want in a wife and if this siutation is really good for you and your daughter. If you continue to be unhappy, this will start to effect you much more, which will at some point effect your daughter, which is something you don't want, she's done nothing. I think it's cool that you are trying to keep your family, but you also need to have your needs met. I would keep trying to work with her on this if you feel it's worth it. If there's no change and if she's not willing to see a counseler then mabye it might be time for a change. Love and passion is something that can be worked out if both parties are willing to work things out. Just don't go deep and and get emotional and do something that's dumb. Everyone has bad stories with quick fixes. This is your family. Think things out before you act on them. Good luck. I hope very thing works out for you.
57686
U R IN A VERY VERY DELICATE POSITION.I FEEL HE IS "ACTING" CHILD LIKE. IT WOULD BE BETTER IF U LIVE SEPARATELY FROM UR IN-LAWS IF IT IS AFFORDABLE
601118
Ask your wife what she thinks when your In-laws "let down" on you.  This should open a conversation that will allow you to tell her how you feel as well.  She should understands why you are not at the same financial level as her older siblings.  Work together making your financial goals.  Check the progress often together.  She can set her parents straight if that's needed.  No one likes to be put down and should they keep up this behavior, I would make the contacts with them as minimal as possible.  (The natural consequences for people who are jerks...no one wants to be around them.)   Hope this helps!
790360
I am sorry to say but i agree with him. You got yourself in a family relationship. Our kids come 1st and we always travel with them. Try to comprmise and bring a sitter so you guys can go off and do stuff on your own