Why is it I have trust issues and have a hard time dealing with regaining trust?
921527
Wow, this is a tough issue.I just want to thank you first of all for this oppritunity. I want to congradulate you for going 2 1/2 to three years. Your relationship has lasted more then most marriages. \nNow you said that you lost trust, and I am not clear why you lost trust and then start checking the phone bills, but there must have been a underlining factor that triggered your lost trust. It could be the way of communication or time comittments with one another have changed. Items along those lines with past experence lead to this dis trust.\nI don't know your boy friend, but something tell me thatthere is a reason why he calls this female friend. evidentally she is giving somethins he needs that he is not getting from you. You mentioned that he communicates with the other woman about collage classes and the foot ball team. Does he talk about these things to you? If he does then he is hiding somthing, if not, then this is somthing that the other woman is providing.\nIt sounds like the other woman is interested in your BF. If it was only a friendship, she would be concerned about how he is relating to you.\nAltimatums is not good. Everyone looses in those cases. What you should do is communicate with your bf that you have no problem with the other woman, but OYou would feel more secure if you were included with these talks about foot ball and school. Invite the other woman over and go have coffee with them in your company showing that you and your bf are a comitted couple. If your bf is willing to comply with that then work from there and keep him. He should always make you his number one priority. You are his BEST friend. Everyone else is second. You have 3 years invested in this relationship, which is a huge investment, because you can not buy back time. \nAlso, always brag about your bf to everyone you two know Guys love that Mention good deed and attributes. Just don't over do it.\nIf and/or when things work oiut. You are going to have to forget the past and move on. Never mention the past  aginst anyone you love and they should practice the same to you, and everything will be Great, in a AWESOME kind of way. take care, Bye
273269
Unfortunately, some peoples trust can never be regained. Don't lie, always tell the truth, you will get in less trouble if you tell the truth instead of a lie. Talk to the new girl that your with, say your sorry, and explain. tell her you realize that she might not trust you now but i am willing to work on it. You mean so much to me and i would hate to lose you over my stupid(yeah,say stupid)mistakes. Good Luck:) I hope this helps. If not Sorry.
516507
I am probably the wrong person to answer this, but I wish it was like it used to be, (not that im an old man, but actually it has gotten bad in such a short amount of time)I have always trusted people, and believed in people, I have been screwed over so many times and lost alot of things in my life by trusting, but I feel like I am a better person because the times I have not been screwed over, it was so worth it. I would say go with your gut feeling!
384821
maybe they have been hurt in the past and have a hard time with trusting anyone.
988431
You have said it in the first line of your question here, that this problem seems to be based on your past. You seemed to have been wounded by something that has already happened before. Its best you sit and think. Go back to that part of your past and mentally think as to what you could have done to make things better. I know doing so will be painful but it is something that you must do in order to ease the pain. Continuous suspicions, mistrust issues are not to be looped over such a long period of time, especially when you have beautiful people around you who I am positive are caring and concerned more than you know. There is absolutely nothing to be afraid of and most of all there's nothing more frightening than fear itself. Another question here from my side is why is it that you are afraid to love? I am asking this because we all know that what you give is definitely what you get back in return. If you provide love and affection, it is guaranteed that it will come back to you too. If you have any further questions or need someone to talk to, please don't hesitate to e-mail me. Remember, there are so many wonderful people around and you should give them a chance before you can think of anything else. Before that, please try and do what I've mentioned earlier about looking back and thinking for a moment. Until then, take care. :)
429387
its not about trust if he dont trust u then u would have left its just a feelings of his care , and yea in one way u can say its a distrust but there is someother possibility , its hard to make that guy the culprit without knowing him , but for me ,its his love for u and about him it may be like that he had something to discuss or like that , there is possibility also , but without being sure u should give ur judgement , ask him discuss with hi mand then know the cause and then decide what is it , and what u should do
562433
Yes.  But then again, I do have trust issues.
392888
If he's convinced that you've been cheating on him and can't be persuaded otherwise, then he has trust issues. If he doesn't trust you, how strong is your relationship? \nAnd do you really know what he's thinking? You sound humiliated, and what you really need is a heart-to-heart with your boyfriend. So many problems can be sorted by talking openly and honestly. If you love him, then you have to be able to come to him with your problems. If you're not comfortable and instead would rather ask random people online to help you with relationship issues, then what does this say about the strength of your relationship?
281247
Your right, you do have trust issues with women! But why? Issues with mom or past girlfriends? You really have to search inside yourself and question why you have these issues before you can overcome them. Until then, it will be extremely hard for you to develop a healthy relationship. Look into therapy with a male therapist and talk to him about these issues. You shouldn't deprive yourself from feeling truly loved!
745831
regardless of your past as sad as it is, trust is a major part of any relationship and without it you may destroy what you have.\n\nmost people are betrayed by someone at some point and this will affect their future relationships.\n\ngiving your love/trust to someone will always leave you vulnerable but its the price we all pay to hopefully get what we want.\n\nits a hard choice but the rewards can be worth it\n\ni Hope it worked out for you
1010729
I'm going through a similar situation because of things I did years ago.  They never really trust you again. Not fully anyway.  It is always there, waiting for the opportunity to show up and force you to feel guilty about something.  I've been going through this for 13yrs.  It hasn't gotten any better.  Maybe you need to learn from your mistake and move on. I don't know why I stayed,but I wish I hadn't.
703384
some times you might have friends who told you man cannot be trusted but the reallt thing is you have try 1st before you jump to conclution.\n\naeeyo1314@yahoo.com
692768
Sounds like trust issues.
461994
You are correct, if you cannot trust someone than why be with them.  Trust is so hard to get, yet so easy to lose and next to impossible to ever completely get back.
990479
trust is a hard thing to earn and should be because if it wasnt then it would not mean so much. There are always people out here that listen and honestly want to help and there are some who want to use you for their own amusement. \nbe sure when you find this person that everything you talk about is always about you and your problems. no one wants to hear about troubles all the time. but when things are private keep them that way. dont wash your clothes in public. ;P
181367
I have the same problem, ive been hurt by friends and family and i STILL think up conspiracy theories. Talking with him will help some, but the change has to be WITHIN you, the only thing he can do is make his life a little more open for you. I try to be as open and honest with my GF as possible, that way she can trust me more, also i tell her where ive been and she even knows my E mail password. She knows who is on my buddy list and who ive called. I do all of this so that there WONT be trust issues in our relationship. BUT she could still be paranoid, so she has to just admit to herself, that if im cheating on her, then it DOESENT MATTER, she will just break up with me and move on, or if i truly repent then fix the problem and continue the relationship. But you HAVE to let it go, go out on a limb and put yourself out there. once you say it doesent matter, and you have "let that person go" then that takes away any walls that were in your relationship before.
984025
Trust just like respect is not something that is handed to you in a relationship it is earned.  This is your proving ground now, a second chance in a sense, you earn trust by being trust worthy.  Show her you can be trusted and won't lie again unless you want a nose like Pinocchio!  : ^ )