i need help doing a personal evaluation for this poem?
915938
i like the 2nd one. it might have alot more meaning and feeling for most people.
182461
try going to your county libraries website there should be reference links look at literary criticism
476283
Here's a little poem I wrote for a dear friend whom I love so: The Song of Love\n\nSo many a time has a woman passed by \nand cause my eyes to yearn.\nMany a lady has my senses stunned \nand my body began to burn. \n\nBut these are the things that fade with time,\nthe beauty we all croon. \nWe live, look, admire, and smile\nand nature sings its tune.\n\nThere’s another song that wells within; \nit’s magic I must presume.\nFor its sound fills the voids \nfor which nature can’t consume.\n\nThe song is passion and is full of strength\nand ruled by desires within. \nIt falters and fades if we let it \nand leaves us empty again. \n\nThere is a song that is stronger \nand can be awakened still.\nIts name is love and is fragile \nand comes out of a humble will.\n\nIt gives when none is given\nand lives on when all is lost.\nIt waits in patience as long as it must \nand stays even if there’s a cost.\n\nIt judges not by eyes or ears \nand has no need to boast.\nIt deeply looks into the soul\nand gives comfort to most.\n\nI hear the song of love, \nits rhythm and its rhyme.\nIt is sweet to those who know it\nand stands the test of time.
983987
Something simple, like\n"ten poems I like"\nOr "a dozen poems, minus two"
196500
In this liquid crystal haze I wait,\nbreathe, feel the tautness of \nmy need.\nI scan, exhale, and scan again\nthe pixilated emptiness\nthat will not reorder itself\ninto an adequate display\nof love.\nWill I fall headlong into a deep\nchasm, that buries hopes\nof you in the corpse of me?\nYour eternal distance\nI cannot recover.\nI need your warm breath, the\nmagic \nof your laugh\nthe very goodness of you.\nWill me back to sense.\n\n(Copyright reserved.)\n\nI did get that you were using a computer motif (the headache!), and I realize that I strayed from that and went with the feeling of emptiness experienced by the end user that can only be resolved with the presence of another.  (Unfortunate, that!)\n\nSpecific changes, and why I made them:\n1.  "Of every expectant squirm" didn't convey serious intensity, it was more childlike excitement over something sure to happen, but from your poem I didn't get the feeling that the user would ever get the message he desired.  I changed it to a very serious "my need".\n\n2.  Changed sigh to exhale.  Sigh seemed to indicate frustration, and as I changed the level of intensity above, exhale conveyed a more physical withholding of the very act of breathing.\n\n3.  "Will not resolve itself into sufficient love" I changed to "reorder itself" as I pictured the letters on the screen actually shuffling around to say what he wanted them to say (I think you were going with a computer resolution becoming less blurry?); "sufficient" which seemed to ask for a quantity of love -- I changed to "adequate" as I was going with the quality of what was being communicated was not meeting the need.  Not sure if you meant quantity or quality, or maybe both.\n\n4.  Theme of chill/splinters/shards - I just couldn't make that work for me as a reader.  You lost me there because it was so physical rather than emotional.  I went with chasm/corpse/eternal to convey emptiness and despair.  \n\n5.  Changed the final question to a plea.  Changed Charm to Magic (the power needed to bring back life).  \n\n6.  The boiled down message\nMy need\nof love.\nI cannot recover.\nWill me back to sense.\n\nYour poem is cool as it is.  I'm guessing from reading some of your other Q&A that you actually did want people to rewrite/comment.  As you know, some people don't -- they just say they do.\n\nAnyway, yours stands well on its own.  It's different from my version, not better or worse.  Perhaps I put too much feminine drama into it and totally changed the character?  I'd be interested to know if I took it further in the direction you wanted to go, or went way off in a direction you hadn't wanted.\n\nThis was fun!  Thanks.
585349
Well... You can look for the website yourself, really, but maybe you could put up the poem so ppl can read it and give you some commentary on it, might be easier.
176038
holy crap this is strong!\nlast line is the best. \nclearly you are writing with FEELING and I love that.\ntitle it and send it in some time to a contest.\n\nI simply feel the power in this thing!\nit had me look away in sorrow because i know someone that was bullied to death. IF it helps, you need to talk about you feelings. get help. It doesnt have to be face to face, maybe talk to someone on the phone or by email. But yeah.\n\nI also think that you could have ended at the line " I swear I saw blood" and that the other stuff could be a poem all by itself. OR you could have two separate poems that are meant to be read together like " poem1 and poem2".\n\nthis is amazing.Just write with feeling.See, doenst writing with feeling feel better?
487166
im thinking if your thinking about taking a shot at being w/ her, I would go for it.. By her response and what you were saying in the poem, to me she is clearly giving a green light.. go for it .. good luck.. nice poem.. I might have to borrow that... lol
166281
http://www.poemsforfree.com/thanpo.html\n\nBrowse their selection and pick the one best suited for your situation.
935796
It's ok, but just not my style of poetry.\nIt needs to have a rhythm.\n\nIt might work better using the japanese haiku style.\n\nOk, I did just a slight altering. See if this works better.\n\nI really like sports football is my thang,\nAnd Peyton Manning is the man of the game. \n\nI love the colts  and you might be surprised, \nthat any girl on the planet likes to watch sweaty guys\n\nI really like football and someday I'll be\na pro football player on a pro football team.
694524
In a little while from now, \nIf I'm not feeling anyless sour ,\nI promise myself to treat myself \nAnd visit a nearby tower \nAnd climbing to the top will throw myself off, \nIn an effort to make it clear to who \nEver what it's like when you're shattered.\n\nLeft standing in the lurch at a church,\nWhere people saying 'my God \nthat's tough she's stood him up \nNo point in us remaining- \nWe may as well go home'. \nAs I did on my own. \nAlone again, naturally. \n\nTo think that only yesterday \nI was cheerful, bright and gay, \nLooking forward to- well who wouldn't do \nThe role I was about to play.\n\nBut as if to knock me down, \nReality came around.\nAnd without so much \nAs a mere touch \nCut me into little pieces \nLeaving me to doubt \nTalk about God in his mercy \nWho if he really does exist, \nWhy did he desert me in my hour of need? \nI truly am indeed \nAlone again, naturally. \n\nIt seems to me that there are more hearts \nBroken in the world that can't be mended. \nLeft unattende\nWhat do we do?\nWhat do we do? \n\nAlone again, naturally. \n\nNow looking back over the years \nAnd whatever else that appears. \nI remember I cried when my father died \nNever wishing to hide the tears. \n\nAnd at sixty-five years old \nMy mother God rest her soul.\nCouldn't understand why the only man \nShe had ever loved had been taken, \nLeaving her to start with a heart so badly broken, \nDespite encouragemant from me no words were ever spoken \nAnd when she passed away \nI cried and cried all day \nAlone again, naturally.\n\nAlone again, natually.
685188
May be at wikipedia.com and type in ..........poem
1098494
Read it. How does it affect you emotionally? Try to relate to the poem. Then, just do the grunt work of memorizing. When you get stuck, try to remember how it made you feel and that can lead you to your next line, etc.
570535
Not sure, but you could check out my poems on my yahoo 360 \n\nand post a comment and vote for your favourite!!\n\nOh ok..try the links below as well!!\n\nGood Luck\n\nJimmy
991266
Maybe collect some photos or other artwork (digital images of course) that go with the imagery in the poem, timed to an audio track of you or someone else reading selected passages. \n\nIf you also have to give background info, images of Whitman, the first edition of the book, etc. might be useful with bullet points outlining key themes, dates, facts, quotes, interpretations, or whatever you feel is most important.
503338
Good one :]\n\nBut one exception to your poem:\n\nI can't FORGET your funny poem.(My forgetter would become a little worse) :]\n\nHave a nice day :]
323393
reflctions of ones soul.  reflections of one self.  reflections of the heart. reflections of our image in today's world. the tone of the poem should be on how you feel when you recite the poem. good luck and hope this helps in some way.