how do i prepare and succeed in mediation?
929472
As a mediator or as a party?\n\nAs a party, all you need to do is have a clear understanding of what you're trying to accomplish (what, not how). And a willingness to be open to understanding and participating in the mediation process.\n\nAs a mediator, it's not your success. The mediator is the guide. The parties pick the destination, and the course. But to be effective, a mediator needs to be able to remain unentangled in the client's emotional issues, keep close reigns on the mediation process, and not allow the process to be hijacked or distorted. \n\nThe goal of a mediator is to be neutral, and assist the parties to accomplish what the parties want to do, within the bounds of fairness. Success is measured not by settlements reached, but in how effective you are at helping them to move past their emotional entrenchment, and make progress toward their goals.
408675
OK, let's start out at the beginning. As a person who has had to testify in court in several occasions, as well as being friends with a judge and private defense attorney, do not admit guilt! Insist on a court trial by jury. Both the PD's and DA's depend on plea deals to speed things up. By insisting on going to trial, you are showing that you believe that you are innocent and are demanding your day in court.\n\n2. Get rid of your PD. They are massively overworked, underpaid, and stressed out. You need to find an attorney that will work for you pro bono. This will be tough - try going to parent's rights organizations and pleading your case. \n\n3. If you've already admitted guilt, withdraw it officially. Tell the truth - your PD pressured you into confessing in order to get the case off of his books, and you were not provided adequate representation. Ask to meet with the judge & all attornies in chambers, and state your case. The claim of inadquate representation is a big one, it gives you an opening to have everything your PD did thrown out.\n\n4. FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT! Again, the court system relys on plea deals. The more you fight, the more they will back off, espically if their case is shaky. Start documenting all the times that you have called your PD and he has not called you back, or times that you have requested a meeting and he has refused. This will provide powerful evidence to the judge that you have not been provided adquate representation.\n\nGood luck.
1151757
1. Breathe. Yes! It's that simple. Breathe deeply, but don't hyperventilate. Inhale as though you were sniffing a delightful scent. Then stre-e-e-tch your arms high over your head as you slowly and completely exhale.\n\n2. Set boundaries. Just like the stressed-out mom who sat in the playpen to keep away from the children, you can erect some barriers. Decide what you will do — and when. Better still, decide what you won't do and dare to say "no." Try to avoid anything, and anyone, who wastes your time.\n\n3. Clarify your goals. Decide exactly what needs to be done, and plan a smart way of accomplishing each task. Oh, and give yourself a pat on the back every time you achieve even one of your goals, no matter how small.\n\n4. Put yourself first. That's right! If you aren't functioning at your peak, your work and your relationships will suffer. Find time for yourself, and try to do at least one relaxing thing each day: Take a bubble bath, or read a chapter of a favourite book.\n\n5. Give yourself a break. It's okay to goof off, cancel a lunch date, or miss a deadline now and then. In six months or 10 years, who will remember?\n\n6. Get spiritual. Get in touch with your spiritual values, and align your plans and activities with them. For instance, read an inspiring book, then figure out how to incorporate what you learned into your day-to-day life.\n\n7. Take five. Right now stop what you are doing to cherish the moment. Savour whatever you're drinking or eating. Or go outside and smell the air, the flowers and the trees. Feel the wind, sunshine or rain on your face. Listen for tiny sounds. Take a moment every day to marvel at the wonders all around you.
863069
There are usually three options\n\n1. Fight the problem\n2. Leave the situation\n3. Accept the situation\n\nHow much you are cornered will depend on which options are available to you.  When you cannot leave, you are then left with two options. Do nothing, or fight.  Quite often you will find that doing both will be your only answer.  How you fight, and with what weapons will determine whether you are successful or not.
331520
mediation...sorry couldn't help it!
678540
You meet with the person with whom you are having a conflict in a session run by a trained mediator who tries to find common ground and a resolution of the dispute without going to court.
733374
be a good listener first.\nthink positively and act accordingly.
102213
1.  Do not believe in divorce.  Make it not an option, not even as a last resort.\n\n2.  You must put each other and each others feeling before all else.\n\n3.  You must BOTH be completely willing to communicate and completely willing to talk about problems that either of you feel you have.
927584
Some recommendations:\n\n- Picture yourself defeating your opponent. \n- Strike through the opponent. Don't aim to strike the face, strike through the face to the back of the head. \n- Jab until you calm your nerves. Once you settle into the fight, stick to your combinations.\n\nAs you get better, you'll sometimes think you're able to stretch time. What you're actually doing, is shortening your reaction time, providing you with a longer time to respond. This is the 'zone' that fighters allude to. \n\nAlso, do as much road work as possible. Jogging is the key to victory. The more you run, the better you'll do.\n\nFinally, breaking your nose doesn't hurt that much. Not getting in the ring hurts a lot more.\n\nGood luck.
557356
first of all seek help in getting through the decision you have to make... this person can help you sort through everything. I'm not a presbyterian but have had great success with Presbyterian Counseling SErvices to be non-judgmental and very very helpful.\n\nwhen you get to this point (i've been) it is difficult to turn it around... but not impossible. at 10 years you can turn your relationship into a really awesome one like it has never been IF YOUR PARTNER WANTS TO DO THE SAME THING AND IS WILLING TO WORK REALLY HARD AT IT.  this means he/she will need to go to counseling eventually with you. seriously without having some sort of mediator you wont' be able to work through this deep of problems. \n\nIF YOUR PARTNER IS NOT WILLING TO GO TO COUNSELING/MEDIATION WITH YOU THEN STOP WASTING YOUR TIME. and get on with your life. either way you have to work on you... if you try to do it yourself it will take yeras and years..... but if you have the courage to get help in counseling and find the right counselor you can be happy again and working on it veyr soon!!!!! i know! i hit rock bottom in a relationship. and thought it was completely over...... i kept working through things for six months and finally(!) there was some change. one year later our lives are happier and healthier than i ever imagined!!!
841656
hi! haris\n\nbe very awake, use your awareness, speak fluently and clear.\n\ngood luck!!\n:>peace
940040
Be away from TV, Internet, Phones. For the time being forget about you love (if at all there is any then..), do meditations for half an hour and prayer for an equal time. Recall all that were taught to you by your teachers from day one, find out where did you loose your concentrations and rectify them, spend at least two and a half hours continuously on your studies..then take some rest (No TV, Radio, Net etc during your rest time)...eat tasty but good foods, forget market, garden etc etc...Don't look in the matters of others including your parents (whether they are going to market or fighting each other!!). \n\nStudy....Study...Study ...., In the morning time don't miss your morning walk...do some skipping now and then, think of studies alone even during sleep....\n\nALAS!! THE RESULT HAS COME !!!!.....AND MY DEAR ONE HAS GOT MERRITT!!!!!! I want to hear this from you!\n\nAdvance Congratulations!
1141757
Mediation is one option you can consider.\n\nMany small claims (municipal) courts sponsor free mediation programs, and other resources may be available in your community.\n\nMediation allows you to work with the other party towards a solution, with help from someone who is trained in dispute resolution.\n\nAlso, check your local province laws regarding privileges relating to settlement negotiations and/or mediation. A solicitor (lawyer) will be able to answer these questions, if you can't find the laws yourself.
874199
You have three options. If this is a temporary move, you can simply write and sign a notorized letter, stating that you are giving your ex temporary custody of your son from this date until (and specify date). You can have this notarized by any notary of the republic (your local town clerk is one). Before you do this, you may want to have your ex check with the school your son will be going to, to make sure that this will be sufficient for enroling him in school. In many states they need an actual custody order or judgement. This is not the best option if he is going to be there longer then a few months.\n\nIf the move is planned to be perminent, then go to the Family Court Office in the county that your son CURRENTLY resides in. Request a petition for voluntary custody modification. It's pretty simple to fill out. Complete the paperwork, mail it your ex to approve and sign (he will need to do this in front of a notary), and then you take it family court, have it notarized and they will give you a court date and time to appear. Your ex will probably have to come out to appear or contact the court house to appear via phone conference. One appearance is all that is necessary. If both parties agree on visitation it's a simple process. \n\nA third option (and one that is both inexpensive and fast), whether this is temporary or permanent is to contact your family courts mediation office. The two of you can sit down with a mediator (your ex can do this over the phone) and the three of you can hash out a custody agreement that you both agree on. The mediator presents it to the judge, you never have to appear.\n\nThe thing I would not recomment doing, is just sending your son to live there without first legally establishing custody. What would probably happen is your ex would not be able to get him in to school without a custody order, so he would have to file a custody modification in CA, stating that your son was abandoned. This would make it more difficult for you to get custody back later.\n\nTake care of the custody issue, and then make sure you both have certified copies of his birth certificate and SS card. As far as child support goes. Your ex can either file to modify it in CA Family Court, or you can include that as part of your mediation. \n\nBest of luck!
1042792
Don't give up.  And don't beat her or your head against a rock!\n\nGet counseling.  For yourself first and then couples therapy.  You may need better boundaries (I highly recommend "Boundaries in Marriage" by Henry Cloud and John Townsend) or better negotiating skills ("Getting To Yes" Roger Fisher).  Counseling can help you pinpoint what skills you need to make it work.\n\nIf you go on like you are, you will likely just make matters worse for yourself or both of you.  If you get divorced, you will likely end up with someone else like her and still won't have the skills you need to deal with that behavior.  Plus you'll have baggage from this relationship and unresolved anger.  Not fair to carry that to a new relationship.\n\nIt's not the movies.  It's not that you have a good marriage if you marry the perfect person.  It's that marriage is good if you meet it's challenges.  If you learn the skills necessary to relate to (and help the growth process of) another person radically different from yourself.\n\nNo matter how frustrating she may be to you, there are things you can learn from each other.  And you may be surprised to find that you help each other heal in significant ways as well.\n\nI believe God uses us to further the growth of others.  Sometimes that's a pleasant process, and sometimes it's painful.  Seek counseling.  Learn the skills you need to make this a positive process rather than a contest of wills.
503399
Every interview has a unique focus, but some questions are asked so often, it makes sense to do all you can to prepare for them. In order to be successful, you need a strategy -- not scripted answers. Your goal should be to emphasize your past experiences that best fit what each interviewer is looking for.\n\n\nTell me about a time when you faced a major obstacle at work.\n\nIntent: Similar to the proudest achievement question, this is a behavioral interview question focused on an event. In this case, the interviewer is interested in your ability to overcome a major hurdle.\n\nContext: Pick an example that illustrates a significant obstacle that best demonstrates how you work and that had a positive, tangible outcome. Obstacles might include business problems, a difficult objective, key people who stood in your way or lack of resources. Once you have your example, explain the steps you took.\n\nResponse: You could include the analysis you performed and the resulting strategy, the process you took, the key actions performed, your arguments or anything else that clearly demonstrates how you achieved your goal. A great response technique for this kind of question is to break your answer down into phases or steps: "First, I... Second...."\n\nHow do you deal with conflict?\n\nIntent: Conflict is part of any workplace, and the reality is that you often can't get ahead or perform well in your job unless you can deal with conflict at a basic level. Do you avoid conflict or face it? Do you think it through, or are you emotional? Do you use constructive techniques to resolve the situation?\n\nContext: There are different forms of conflict of course: the everyday interpersonal sort, disagreements in direction or strategy, and conflict over resources. You should describe how you handle conflict at an appropriate level. If you are a manager or executive, for example, pick a reflective example.\n\nResponse: Consider offering a specific example to demonstrate how you resolve conflict.\n\nTell me about yourself.\n\nIntent: Such an innocent-sounding question, but it is a bit of a trap. The interviewer wants to see how you present yourself, but this is not an offer to recite your resume.\n\nContext: This question, which when asked always occurs at the beginning of the interview, is a predictable opportunity to craft an engaging, intriguing executive summary of who you are professionally and why you are there. While there is no hard-and-fast rule as to how long it should be, let's say it should last up to a minute. If you are given this opportunity, turn it to your advantage to establish momentum.\n\nResponse: The stronger the connection you can make between your background, knowledge and interests, and the job at hand, the more compelling you will be as a candidate. If there is something notable about your personal life that adds to your candidacy or helps explain your career trajectory, add it. Otherwise, leave personal details out at this stage unless invited to do so.\n\nHow would you describe your work style? \n\nIntent: This is a fairly open-ended question. At a basic level, the interviewer is interested in hearing how you both understand and articulate how you work. However, there may be a requirement for someone highly organized, or the team may have a specific way of working, and the interviewer wants to see if you fit.\n\nContext: You may not have thought about this too carefully before. How do you best operate? What's the optimum work situation for you? There are two sides to this: how you work and in what kinds of work environments do you work best. Are you highly structured? Do you focus on one thing and get it done, or move multiple projects forward concurrently? On the environment side, do you do best in fairly structured workplaces, or do you thrive in chaos?\n\nResponse: Like any other answer, being specific and backing up your answer with a brief example works best. You could use the past week as an illust
156824
Stay calm.... Obviously, that's what you're worried about.  Visualize what you want to do in your head.  Visualize yourself succeeding.  Think about the successes that you've had in the past and realize that this is another area in which you can also find success.\n\nHow did you succeed in the past?  Was there any certain trick to staying calm?  If you do find yourself starting to panic, think of a song that gets you pumped up.  Sing it loud to yourself inside your head.... Then, visualize...