any advice on how to separate love and sex, most people i know can and seem happy,  i can't. why ?????
931570
I was just having this conversation with God yesterday with the same question?  I didn't know it was for you.\nThere is only one reasonyou are feeling this way.  Everything, believe it or not, was created for a purpose-- even you. \n          " For I know the plans I have for you, " declares the Lord, plans to prosper you, not harm you.  To give you a hope and future."  Jeremiah 29:11\n Sex was for made for the coming together of a man and a woman but not outside of the marriage guidelines.  Sex is a beautiful thing and even more beautiful when it is with someone who loves you despite your bad breath, messy hair.  It is even more beautiful when that person is someone God has especially chosen for you and has strengths that you do not have and sees that a relationship with God is first priority and being everything that God has created him for as being part of that (loving husband, good provider, great father).  This person does exist.  Now that i know the truth of the matter in those people who might seem like they are happy are not happy they just have not been told by someone how special they are and that they are loved and accepted no matter their flaws.  So they go with what everyone else or so they think, does.  Sweetie,  you are special and there is no reason for you to sell yourself cheap.  You have been bought for a high price already and no one can pay as much as He can for your life.  I wasn't a virgin when I got married,  but everyday I wish that i could have waited.  God didn't set up laws to punish us, but to protect us( needless hurt, pain,  wasted time, disease and baby mama/daddy drama).  There is no such thing as separating love and sex unless you have a heard heart or no heart at all.  Don't try to fit into the world's standards-follow God's and he'll send you your true mate.     \nJesus loves you.( now smile)
514194
People might just have different sex drives.\n\nI have two questions for you.\n1. Do you love him?\n2. How important is sex to you?\n\nAnswer these two questions and you might be able to figure out what you need to do.
811346
Sounds like you've done everything I would have suggested. I guess just keep talking and try to figure some things to make things interesting. Maybe try creating a different type of relationship for awhile. Try not having sex for a year or so and engage in activities that may remind both of you of sex but are in no way related. Go talk to a sex therapist. Sorry, that's the best I got
501530
How can you love a person who is not suitable for you. And if you have a feeling of love for someone, what is the criteria for being suitable. But if you have a feeling of love, then give it a shot, may be its all in your head.\n\nI am not the best at advice but you may try it out once. Life's not gonna end after that.
150531
Find someone better. Relationships can't be based on sex and sex alone. Find someone who will respect you and your wishes.
858895
Hi,\n\nI don't think you can make someone happy if they just don't want to be happy, try to find out what the problem is and get that person help if need be! It could be a deeper problem then you think!
218382
At times a good conversation about hopes and dreams is in order. What do both parties want out of the relationship. Are both parties happy? A younger child can bring added pressures and it affected me also for awhile. I found myself doing many of the same things for a few months. I was in a total culture shock and didn't know how to handle the situation. I am now still there for my wife and its lasted 5 good years and counting. I am now myself again and love the family life. I guess at times it takes som getting used to and others it doesnt work out for people. The situation needs to be addresses because it is unhealthy for both parties. You have needs and so does he. You all need to work things out or split apart and find happiness.
608696
In this world we can make so many things happen, but one of them we don't have control over is love. We can't make someone want or love us. Usually if we try we make them go farther away then they were. My suggestion to you would be cool toward this person because most times we want what we can't have.........
257938
Wild sex will never makes you happy.\nLoving and compassionate sex will. Do it with the one you really love.\nIt's worth waiting for, trust me.
825641
you can live without sex, but you can't live without love.\nSEX should be the result of wonderful love but nowadays people banalize it too much.\nLove makes you sweat in your hands when you see the one you love, your heart goes faster and it seems you have butterflies in your stomach. Sex it seems you have butterflies in other parts, playing around and once it is over, that's all about it. LOVE is something so powerful that you can be away for the person you love for many years and you still think of him and you still love him in such a way as if time never existed and as if you were never broke apart. Sex is good and you feel all that pleasure but if there is no love you will never remember the person anymore or it causes you a feeling of emptiness if you made love just to satisfy your body, not your spirit. Love can be unconditional whilst sex can be selfish. Love can be AGAPE and last forever, no matter if you grow old and feeble but the feeling will be always there.\n\nLove is soul, heart whilst sex is body and mind.......\nlove is abstract, spiritual, sex is concrete......should not be like this....should be a COMBINATION of both things.\nOh well, I guess I talked to much. Good luck.
165217
Any human with the capacity to love gets attached pretty easily. There's nothing wrong with that either. Yes, we do have to separate ourselves sometimes and try not to get too attached to some things or people (like puppies you're going to sell or give away) and it can be tough sometimes, but ya know what? Thank God that you are able to love because those that cannot love lose so much. I'm sure you've heard the "tis better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all" quote, (may not be exact, but you get it), well, never was a truer word spoken. When you love, love with your whole heart, never half-way. God bless. =)
925280
I can totally relate to where you're coming from. I am also happily married to an amazing guy who sounds a lot like your husband - attractive, sweet, dependable. Yet I sometimes think about other guys I've been with (even brief relationships from back in high school!) or develop big crushes on guys I meet (see my latest post for details). \n\nI can also give you advice as someone who has followed her feelings and tried to "have it all" and the cake, too. A few years ago, I had a very brief affair - which I then confessed to my husband (also detailed in an earlier post). I was very fortunate that he forgave me, and now almost 4 years later we have a child together. The thing is, the affair totally wasn't worth it. Not only did I hurt my husband, who has been my best friend for 10 years, but I went through an emotional hell (and a deep depression).\n\nI can see a lot of similiarities in our situations because I am religious also. That can cause even more angst when these sexual feelings arise, because you feel so much guilt from them. What I've come to recognize is that the feelings are normal, but you just need to be careful not to act on them. It's OK to think about other people from time to time, to fantasize as long as you don't start spending all your energy wanting it to come true. \n\nIn your case, since you've been with this other guy in the past, it would be really easy to fall into it again. My advice is to stay away from him. Enjoy the memories of the exciting sexual moments you've shared in the past, and remember that you're an attractive person to other guys. Use it to boost your confidence and feel good about yourself, just don't act on it. Hope that helps! :-)
837797
Love and Sex are totally different entity.\n\nLove is something which will last forever. Its a feeling. Related to heart. A dedicated, pleasant experience. There will be sometimes in Love relationship you will get lot of pain. But still you will hang on, because you love.\n\nSex is an action. Its a pleasure, and for Fun. Its what you think. Related to mind. A human body is programmed to have SEX. The purpose of a Man & Woman, and the whole human generation depends on this ecstatic, pleasure activity between two people. \n\nWhen you are denied of sex, you will not feel that bad. You can masturbate and sleep well.According to me,  the most sexiest organ in a human body is MIND. But when you are denied of love, you don't get sleep. \n\nSo Love is more powerful, and precious than SEX. You might get a chance to have intercourse with many, but if you didn't gain even a single person to truly love you, any case, then there is no point in Living.
655388
i think u just said it.....\nits not 4 a relationship....just sex....\ni think many people will agree with u that sex is great(even me)but it matters to me , who i have it with...\ngirl, if u do this it will only lead to broken heart(mentioned by u)...\ntry ur best of not wanting him 4 sex.... u know it won't last.... \nhave patience...\nchances u will find somebody (coz sex is easy to get , i think)but 2 get that emotional satisfaction is also important...\ni feel it is better to"make love" with someone who won't trample over me   .... and not leave me hollow and even empty...even after the great sex...\nrelationship or life is not ALL ABOUT SEX...\n\nbut then again it is ur decision...
440088
Call a psychologist sir and tell him why there is nothing in my mind just silly questions about sex why i must enjoy to talk about dirty things ?Tell him i feel i am a right one but i dont know why i always used to spend a lot of time on net for asking silly questions about sex and religion? Ask him why you are not a normal one?
79950
this can be a trick question -- if I take up a LOVER, then i also pick up a HOBBY of trying to keep him excited and a full-time JOB trying to keep it secret! either way, find a HOBBY that you LOVE and make it your JOB. ;-)
1006312
Doesn't sound like love to me. You don't lie to people you love & actually if you're emotionally healthy, you don't lie at all.\nAs for you, do some reading about addictive relationships and/or see a  therapist. Love shouldn't hurt!