Why am I staying with my husband?
925096
if your skin crawls...even sometimes...you just answered my first question...you don't want to be married to this guy.  Possibly you have a fear of the unknown and what may or may not lay ahead for you.  Maybe you feel you deserve this and no better.  Maybe it's financial fears.  Whatever they are, when you hit rock bottom with him, you'll know it and then, in your own time, you'll make your decision to stay and live with it or go.  There won't be questions or fears once you choose.  It's really not so bad on your own.  The trade offs, even if financial, are worth it.  I love coming home to peace and quiet and never having to wonder where the land mines are in my own home.  I wish you the very best.
408526
I'm in the same boat as you, I've been with my husband for 5 years and things are getting worse and worse, the happy life we had went down the toilet along time ago and all we do is fight. It's not easy i don't know how to tell him either, but the person I'm seeing makes me feel like I'm worth something, not useless. maybe we can figure out something, my email is under my info
918770
Do yourself a favor and stop the relationship immediately. If he hasn't changed his ways in the last 7 years, he isn't going to start now.  You cannot change people, they have to want to be different, and they have to want to make things better for themselves.  What is it about him that makes you want to stay with him?  And be HONEST with yourself.  Is it merely because you've been with him so long it's comfortable?  I hate to be this blunt, but you need to break this one off or you will just be very unhappy as a married woman, and I can almost guarantee you will end up a divorce statistic.
803598
Totall making sense. When your happy and in love w/ the man of your dreams. Your happy to do all those house-wife things. So you go girl. Keep doing what your doing sounds like the 2 of you are very happy together.
1163406
Agree with machelle. This is true love, from the wife -- unconditional, but probably also for the financial security, social acceptance, for the kids etc. All very good reasons to stick together. Plus probably a deep understanding of who he is. He won't leave her because that depth of guilt generates such a huge debt of gratitude. As long as he treats her with reasonable respect and dignity, she will stay, and as long as she is reasonably tolerant, he will stay.
372640
Was he that way before you married him? If so, why would you expect it to be different now?\n\nIf he wasn't, then--as said above--you've probably run rampant at home and he doesn't feel the need, or is trying to "balance" the situation. Could also be med/psych reasons too.
1033687
Hi Hmy ... I read your other questions and it's obvious that you husband isn't monogamous or intends not to stay that way. The only reason why you'd be  putting up with this  is because\nof low self esteem.   You don't think you deserve any better and  are desperate not to be alone.  Perhaps at the moment you don't deserve any better. Think of what you can do to change that.. \n\nMake what ever changes you need to feel better about yourself.  It could be education,  work, even volunteer work. Whatever it is you probally should spend a lot less time here.
405565
Why would you stay if it is that bad? This doesn't make any sense to me. If the marriage is bad then take yourself out and live your life in peace...Lady
302165
It doesn't sound like you are being taken for a fool. You are describing consistent and positive changes in your husband's behavior. What a blessing! It's so refreshing to see a couple get the help they need. If you're not ready to live together again yet, how about courting each other? Maybe you need a totally fresh start. Go on dates and get to know each other again. And go on family outings. Be up front with your kids that you and daddy love each other and are trying to work things out. I believe in time you will see that he truly has changed for the better. Give your marriage a chance. I think you're going to be very happy!\n\nGod Bless!
350881
Well, is there anyway of compromise? Is the distance between the place of his new job in september and your stable job place too great to commute from a place that's in between the two places?  \n\nIf it is commutable distance for you two, then I suggest that you and your husband staying in a rental home or a reasonably priced apartment that's nearer to your two job places and renting your new house or keeping it for your selves for later.  After all, being so far apart from your husband seems to hurt your relationship with him to the point that it might lead to a bigger issue in future (like god forbid, a divorce).  Communication and intimacy are important keys in a relationship; without them, a person can lose many things in life that he/she might regret later.\n\nHowever, if the distance seems to be too great, then you can stay in your new home by yourself while your husband again goes to the job place and works but I would like to suggest that you two take many oppurtunities that you can to make up for the lessened communication and intimacy in your lives by visiting in the weekends or monthly (whatever suits your schedules).\n\nWhile stable jobs are important to life, a stable relationship is also important to life.  It's up to you two to calmly figure out the balance between the supporting your relationship while having jobs so that both will be happy in the end instead of being frustrated about not understanding the different levels of importance the two of you give to the relationship and work.  After all, you two are individuals and as such you two have different ideas and beliefs over what's important to each of your lives.  To find out the differences and to understand and respect eachother's ideas and beliefs, please do talk seriously about it so that you two can better balance between your relationship and works.\n\nGood luck!
435333
Any man that just left his wife and 2 kids isn't in ANY place to be wanting it to last.  Even though you might, and he probably says pretty words, why would you WANT to stay with a man that is still married- therefore cheating on his wife with you?  Does SHE know he's already moved on?  It seems like he moved straight from her bed to your bed- why would YOU want that?  What about his kids?  Be the bigger person and wait until the divorce is final.  Divorce is messy enough without additional people thrown into the mix.  If it's true love he'll still be around then- and his kids will be able to respect you.  If not, you have your answer.
1154731
that all depends on you and your spouse! if you are secure with staying at home taking care of the family then stay, but if you want to work then work! this is something you and your spouse should discuss
668756
Why are you continuing to put up with this? You asked him to do something to save your marriage, and he can't even do that?! Your marriage needs help. You need a counselor to talk about this, because obviously your husband has no concern for your feelings, by flirting and lying to you. He may even be cheating. Don't put up with this another minute! He's treating you like dirt. You deserve so much better.
60528
Learn to be patient. If you are not married yet, I would suggest you to leave him. I know it is awful living with an inconsiderate man. But I honor marriage and think people should try their best to stay in their marriage in better or worse. So please learn to accept him the way he is. Anyway, it's your life and your decision. I won't respect you less if you decide to leave him. Wish you the best.
554853
My now husband and I had this same problem.  He lived at home with Mom and was reluctant to spent the night at my house(I still lived with Mom too)  But I was head over heels with him and I persisted.  I stayed with him as often as I could.  (His MOM hated me at first)  But we were together for almost a year and I sort of moved in.  We spent four great years together with MOM and she began to warm up to me.  If you really like this man then perhaps you have to make a few sacrifices to keep him.  I now live in that very house married to him.(I was a very independent sort of woman no one provided for me an' all that but I gave in to be with him.)
720270
ok, if you have to ask then you already know. NO IT"S NOT RIGHT!!!! Ugh, you are destroying your own family out of selfishness. Women like you are called house-breakers. Ever heard of that? Your husband obviously loves you, he married you!! It's clear that the feeling isn't mutual though. You are causing so many problems for yourself and you don't even know it. I feel sorry for your husband...he deserves better and you deserve a reality check. Wake up....you're wrong!
743861
the marriage is over. the 2 of u have lost all respect for each other. just move on. if u stay u could end up doing more harm. think abut the children. they have to see this behavior going on in the home. so just move on.