My 21 year old daughter is a vegetarian.  How do we handle an invitation to friends for Thanksgiving dinner?
922217
I agree. There are lots of options! Unless she's a total vegan, she can deal with mashed potatoes (minus gravy), sweet tater pie, cranberry sauce, green bean bake, and even stuffing (if its not made with chicken/turkey stock). What are her reasons for vegetarianism? If its health related, and she's done the research, she needs to know how to eat plenty of protein to get in her system what she's not getting from eating meat.
799949
You've got it.  Traditional is turkey, stuffing, mashed taters, gravy, Green bean casserole, corn, sweet potatoes, rolls or bread and maybe a few different types of salad, maybe some cranberry and ham depending on how many you'll be having.  We have almost 20 so we do turkey and ham.\nI also make an apple carmel pie and we have pumpkin pie too of course.\nIt's a big day of eating.  We gather a couple of hours before dinner, some are cooking the gravy and taters but while we do this we have chips and dip, deviled eggs, veggie and fruit trays and we just start grazing.\nGood Luck and don't stress.  How about calling some of the people who are coming and asking them to do the casserole and yams and maybe have someone bring the ham.  It will be hard for you to do it all in one oven.
685879
Wow, this is kind of an odd situation to be in.  Why should you worry about inviting someone to YOUR birthday party, if you know they will just make things awkward, if not uncomfortable for you and everyone else in attendance?  There is such a thing as being cordial to someone, while not letting them play a passive-aggressive role in your life.  You don't have to be so nice that you're putting yourself and your own entertainment second to this person's feelings.  You shouldn't even have to offer an explanation, because it's YOUR birthday!  You wanted to share your special day with friends, and if that person is not really your friend, then why concern yourself with how they'll feel about not being invited?  \n\nBecause I have a sneaking suspicion that this person will be nervy enough to attempt a confrontation about not being invited to your birthday celebration, should there be any question about who all was invited, why don't you just say it was a family celebration, and that you were only allowed to invite your closest friends?  That isn't much to argue over, because you're bringing your family members into it, which would seem to indicate that there were already a number of people in attendance, aside from your chosen few [close] friends.\n\nBest wishes, and Happy Birthday.
98161
I count my blessings! It's wonderful to make that kind of connection with people. My family does this often. We have a lot of non-family family members - I've always thought of it as a kind of adoption. It's really a great way to liven up any family gathering - it's nice to have all the family get together for Thanksgiving, but bringing newly 'adopted' family friends always spices things up. :)\n\nWhen I was your age, I had a couple families. My best friend's family was great - it was like having twice as many people care about me. At that age, it really helped me. 13's a rough age to be...so much is going on... I'm 25 now, and I still go visit my 'other' families. \n\nPeople used to say that it takes a village to raise a child. While you're not exactly a child, it's the same idea. The more people who care about you, the better. Don't worry too much - this is really a good thing.
66204
Invite them to a dinner party. get to drinking and have a good time. Sometimes this helps becuase you learn more about them personally
974346
Flowers are always nice, especially if she doesn't know them well. (Her boyfriend should know of any to stay clear of due to allergies.) Food on Thanksgiving is always acceptable, but have boyfriend check on what might be needed. As for wine, general rule is match the wine with the main course (white meat-white, red meat-red), or bring a dessert wine. Hope this helped.
674717
I would start by deciding how many people you're going to invite than decide where you will have it. Wether you rent a place or just have your party at home. You need to decide what kind of food you would like, you could have a caterer or decide to make all the food yourself. For my 16th birthday I had a party at my house. I did a lua theme we had coconuts, a pinata, we made all the food ourselves. We didn't spend alot of money but the party turned out great, it was alot of fun. As long as you have your friends there you will always have a good time. Good Luck!
77091
Forget the whole multiple-party thing.  Nothing says that each get-together has to be a bash.\n\nMy parents are divorced, and what I did until recent years was actually have three or more gatherings, but only one "party".  I'd tell my parents and my wife's parents that we're just going to have a quiet celebration at home the evening of our daughter's birthday, which would include only me, my wife, whichever daughter was having the birthday, and our other daughter.  We'd make the birthday girl's favorite dinner, have cake and ice cream, and open presents.  For that at-home dinner I'd hang some streamers, put out a birthday tablecloth and do the silly party hat thing.\n\nThen some other weekends or weeknights, we'd just go visit the other relatives individually or they'd come visit us.  My mom and dad both lived in town, but my inlaws lived a few hundred miles away, so it was expected and understood that we would catch up with everyone whenever we could, and just "stretch out" the birth DAY celebration into birthday season.  Often those secondary gatherings were just an afternoon together, or perhaps we'd stretch into dinner hour, or even go out to dinner together so no one had to cook.\n\nThis worked well for us for a few reasons.  It took the pressure off anyone to have to get along all together at one celebration.  Also, my daughters are born less than a month apart, so sometimes with one relative (especially the out-of-town inlaws) we'd just do one celebration for both girls during the same visit roughly midway between the actual birthdays.  This way I figured my daughters still recognized they were loved by everyone, and I always made sure to emphasise the importance of the actual day with the smaller family dinner at home on the actual birth DAY.  \n\nThis also meant that we didn't bother with a cake or other festivity paraphernalia for any of the "secondary" celebrations.  And that's really what those were, too; they were truly "secondary" celebrations.  Since the small-family dinner thing on the actual day was primary, everyone else was on an equal secondary status so there was no worry as to preferential treatment as to which grandparent got to visit on the actual day -- none of them did.  Usually all three sets would call on the actual day to wish happy birthday, but all understood their chance for in-person celebrating would happen another day.   I should note that I set the tone for birthdays early on with the first birthday of my oldest daughter, so I never had to adjust anyone's expectations, this is just how it has always been.\n\nMy father passed on a couple years ago, and now I'm divorced with custody of my daughters, so I follow the same formula now, except there are more "secondary" birthday gatherings, and her mom and I have to trade every other year as to who has the girls on the evening of their birthdays.\n\nThe only exception to the single primary "party", multiple secondary "gathering" rule has been years where one of my daughters has decided they wanted to have a big party with all of their friends.  In those cases, we still had the single primary "party" as a family, but then we also had another party with her and all her friends.  \n\nFor example, this year, my youngest's birthday was on a Friday, and so that evening she and her sister and I had our "primary" party that evening.  Then on Saturday afternoon I had rented out a room at a local arcade center and invited her scout troop and the girls from her class, and did the party thing there.\n\nThe result for me is that we might be celebrating continuously for a while, but none of the little parties individually has nearly as much stress as if I'd tried to do one big huge humungous party while somehow trying to simultaneously manage duties as party host, family political mediator and day care dir
410943
How sad that it took three years. How about a welcome to our circle of love party. Probably not too loud and rowdy but soft sweet and accepting. Everyone should show her how glad you are that she is here in your family of friends. I hope everything will go well good luck and bless you all for your acceptance.
329514
It is a simple courtesy to bring a salad or buns or other dish when invited to dinner.  Also to offer to help.  I experienced the same thing with my inlaws.  Five grown children refused to help their mom with dinner or dishes, and it was always and only me the daughterinlaw who helped with cooking and did the dishes, at all Family gatherings for 30 years.  Yes I was pissed but now she is dead and I am glad that I was the one to help her.  The lazy children were sorry and cried and moaned and carried on but I held my head up high and had no negative feelings because I did my very best.    You should continue to be helpful, but don't think you have to do it all or contribute $ just because your mom wants to.
793963
I'm sure almost anything you decide to bring will be enjoyed by all.  I would probably bring something not too heavy (and easy to make) like deviled eggs.  Maybe you could make/bring some sort of dip and crackers to go along with the dip.  It's nice to have a variety of food at Thanksgiving.  Enjoy your holiday!
812230
It's not supposed to be about bringing the right gift, originally they brought live turkeys for goodness sake! If you can make a desert or something traditionally english take that! If not stick with the wine and tell them about asking what to bring on the internet, it's the thought that counts after all and you'll have a conversation starter!
25047
If your wife's interest have changed, can you learn to love the new interests?  She's still the same person beneath her new ideas.  If this is all just about veganism and THIS is why you want to divorce her, I would take a greater look into yourself.  You can still be vegan, if that's what you are, and she can still NOT be a vegan.  Make a list of all the things you loved about her before your child and after. Take a long look at the list, I bet there are still so many things that are the same.  You may have made her post-child list even longer.  I bet she's a great mom, and does many things for your child.  Take a good look at her now without putting the memories of her before the baby.  Pretend you were just meeting her for the first time. I bet you are still in love with the new her. Give it time.  I have a 6.5 month old at home, and although I feel I'm still the same person, my boyfriend says I have changed a great deal.  You need to talk to her and let her know how you feel.  A woman needs to take care of her body after the child was born, and she may need more proteins now than she did before. I realize that you can get protein from vegan sources, as well, but maybe for the time being, she prefers getting this source from meat and dairy. If changing from vegan to mom has upset you that much, I'm sorry.  I wish you all the best of luck.
1144897
I think a gift card is always a great idea, especially when you don't know someone very well. If you are uncomfortable with the idea of a gift card, go to Target or Bed, Bath and Beyond, as I know both of those places have bridal registries (there may be other places in your area that offer them) and check and see if she is registered. You don't need to spend a lot on a gift, especially since you haven't been friends for ages and ages. I think that since you are the new girl in the office, any gift you are thoughtful enough to bring will be greatly appreciated.\n\nAs for salad, I would say Ramen Noodle, and that's just because some people are not meat eaters, and even many meat eaters are not fond of bacon. I don't know for sure about your recipe, but the Ramen salads I have had in the past don't have any meat in them at all. When making stuff for groups, I usually try to make whatever I think will be most acceptable to the largest number of people.\n\nI think it's wonderful that your coworkers have made you feel so welcome at your new job. I hear so many horror stories about being the new girl, that it is sometimes disheartening. It's nice to hear about your experiences.
925690
Well I'm the designated Cook since my father died.....so I always stay at home and cook the traditional Feast....I tell my friends and family it's open door at my house on holidays....Everyone is welcome!.....I cook up our family's traditional feast and usually add a new different something Iv been wanting to try out as well.....I usually start cooking/baking Pies/cookies(jello salads.. & prep work) on wed....and theT- bird on Thursday...it's a ton of work specially since I do it all myself now that Dad has passed( we always did it together ever since I was young girl,just us two)....but everyone really apreaciates it!  so it's worth it !! whatever you do, Rember, Thanksgiving really isn't about the food...though try to tell that to the men...lol....it's really about family and good friends getting together and enjoying each others company....and being Thankful for each other..... \nHave a Great day!\nBlessed Be!
764302
If you have the space, I would definitely recommend getting a DJ and have a dance party. When I turned 18, my parents did something like this for me, and they also hired an improv group from a local club to come over and specially perform for my friends and I-it was hilarious, and half their act was dedicated to reinacting stories that my friends had secretly submitted. If you have access to something like this, I would definitely recommend it, because every single person LOVED it. \nFood-wise, load up! Get tons of everything, so that everyone feels appreciated and accounted for depending on their different tastes. My party had a sampling of stuff from assorted restaurants and my friends were just blown away. \nI would definitely talk to you daughter about anything specific she definitely wants to include, but show her that you can be the cool mom she knows you can be, and aim to impress! She'll love it I'm sure. Good Luck!!
258208
She broke TWO etiquette rules\n1. Adults in committed relationships get invited as a couple.Period. The genders involved do not change this.\n2. Adults (single or involved) get invited seperately from other adult members of their family, even in the same household...assuming you do not live with your folks, her breach is MASSIVE. Only children under 16 can be added to a parental invitation.\n\nI would have thought she was narrow minded but marginally polite if she had chosen simply not to invite you at all, and I doubt that you'd have been heartbroken over THAT slight, but this is a direct insult.\n\nI would skip the wedding,too, and tell her why if she asks (or maybe even send your RSVP regretting that you and Josh will be unable to attend)....if you're inclined to give a gift, may I suggest an etiquette book as a very suitable item?\n\n(added later...I love Dougeebear's gift suggestion, too...less subtle than my jab, but goooooooooood!)