Help!  I have a step child problem?
923263
I think all parents involved need to sit down together and discuss this...it's a decision that could make or brake this boy. Make a list of pros and cons...hopefully you can come to a reasonable decision. I hope it works out for you.
378763
I hope not.  Your step-parents have played an important role in your life and you developed a friendship and love for them.  Why should you stop caring about someone just because their relationship with someone else has changed?
893411
I am a father and step father.  I have had similar problems with my teenage daughter that lives with her mom.  All the father can do is continue to express his love for his daughter.  If she chooses not to believe him there is nothing else he can do. There comes a time in the life of a child and a parent when the parent has to step aside and let the child face life's hard lessons. \nIf the father has done eveything in his power to make sure his daughter is provided for and he has done everything he can to show his love then he has nothing to feel remorse about.  When the daughter realizes what she has lost then she will hopefully come to her senses and appreciate the father she has.
1035681
You call him whatever you want and you shouldn't feel guilty about it. Speaking as a stepmother, my stepsons know that they can call me by my first name or they can call me Mom. They choose to call me Mom. Just because they do doesn't mean they love their biological Mother any less, it's just that they know they have 2 Mom's that love them. I'm sure your stepfather feels the same way. If you still have doubts just talk to him about it.
1133121
Remember this is a five year old we are talking about.  One who is probably very jealous about this "intruder" who is coming between her and her daddy.  She may have a fear that her parent's break-up is her fault or that her father will not want to be with her like he and her mother don't want to be together.  There are a lot of things going on here.  It also sounds like there's a bit of jealousy on your part too, either for the child or for the mother for having given your husband a child. It's hard to be a step-parent especially when a child is young; but don't try to be her mother it sounds like this five year old needs a friend. maybe if you approach her from that direction, you can make her understand that you aren't a threat to her and you can get to know her better at thew same time.
503205
First, I am a mother.  You need to think about what you are going to say before you say it. Remember she is the only mother you will have.  Also, try to explain to your mom how you are feeling.  This may help take away some of the frustrations you have.  I was a teenager once, I did alot of aruging with my mom as a teenager and it was about how i felt she was treating my brother a lot better than me, ect, which by the way she did, and now admits.  I ended up moving in with my dad and step monster, oops step mother, and It was find for like 4 months, then she showed her real colors.  It might not seem like it now, but try and talk with your mom, explain that you are just frustrated, and you need to tell her how you feel. I actually thought I hated my mom for many years, but now that I am older, I realize that i didn't hate her, I just did not like her actions, and the decisions she made.
938138
I am a step mom to my husbands three children and he to my 3 children.  We both felt that when we married the other would have that right.  We each feel that if done in a proper way that the other should have that right.  We went thru the you are not my mom or dad things and that's ok but in the end what ever punishment was handed out was still there.  I do so because I want them to turn out to be responsible adults.  That's how we learn in life is by the punishments and rules in life are handed down by our parents and weather they are biological parents you will find rules suck but they have to be followed.  That's what works for us. I am mainly the one at home most with our last son at home so even though I am his step mom I punish more than his dad.  He does not like it sometimes but does abide by what I say.  Wish you lots of luck sweety!
592918
Hi: My husband and I have children from previous marriages and it is complicated.  The blended family needs a disclaimer: results may vary.  In my experience both partners need to give the other alot of grace.  Relationships can be difficult with our own children, let alone a new girlfriend/wife.  Some parent child relationships are difficult, some are easy.  Psychologists call this goodness of fit. We all have different personalities and we can't always relate to one another.  As for my husband and I, after alot of stuggle I think we relized we are not able to rescue our kids from the missing parent that left them.  Our kids are the ones that respond to the step parent, if they choose not to be responsive and enter into a relationship we cannot force them.  The wicked step mother applys, even when you are an angel from heaven.  Some kids never respond to the step parent.  Dr. James Dobson said in one of his books (paraphrased): The child takes on the job of protecting the family of orgin, they will ask when is Daddy coming home, they will say "you are'nt my mom."  It really depends on how old your kids are.  I think in our case, our kids were too old to start a new family.  My husband and I should of waited to get married until the nest was less populated.  In short if you married a woman with no kids, dont expect her to be perfect, and angel sent to make everything roses and sunshine for your kids.  If she is human she will have stuggles and make mistakes, but love is the greatest of all.\nGod Bless.....
918540
Do NOT let that kid get into foster care. What ever you do it will be safer if he wasnt in foster care...Try to go to court and have the kid placed with you. The mother could sign custody papers over to you and he will be safe then... Try to talk to his mother about it there could be more... Like the step-father is also abusing the mother and thats why she wont leave him. Find out everything first.
536484
I send my deepest regrets to you and your family.You need to sit both fathers down and let them know that wither they approve or like one another they are part of this family and need to pull together for the sake of the child so that he can finish his grieving period over his mother.It seems as though the real father would have the claim over him,but your real father also needs to recognize that the love and bond between him and the step father,therefore he needs to set up a visitation time for them.If all else fails,maybe your little brother would be better in your hands if you are at the adult age limit to take him on.Good luck to you all and best of wishes!
1165308
Talk to that attorney of yours and have him get you out of the marraige but MORE IMPORTANTLY make sure you have him draw up papers regarding your children!
526708
Girlfriend you are a true Christian, but come on. You are going to have to confront her and let her know that she really needs to increase her circle of friends. It is commendable that you open your heart and home for your husband's ex, for the sake of your step daughter but you have to set some boundaries...because she is totally taking advantage of you. I would take her aside and  tell her Enough is Enough! You would rather her take the responsibility of dealing with the child as a parent. While you want to be there for the child you are in essence enabling this woman to pawn of the reality of her personal responsibility off to you. She obviously knows not to engage your husband so she gets in any way she can.  Think about it.
984853
Your not a horrible person, I know this because my mom and step dad fight about the same thing. There is still hope for your relationship and not to worry about a thing for a bit. Things will brighten up soon.
201023
treat her like your own child.  if you do not have a child, treat her like who would your own child.  my step dad does not treat me and my brother the same as he treats his daughter.  he use to, but now he does.  it has made me not like him, and now that i do not live in his household, i rarely go over to see my mom, who i miss.
1130705
What state do you reside?...Do you have parenting plans?..The courts agree to anything that benefits the children...however in the state of NJ...It is illegal during the other parents time.  Since camp benefits the child the step-mother/bio-dad needed to get WRITTEN permission from you....Your visitation should be followed to the T.....If the bio-dad  takes a week that was yours, then you should have the right to receive another....You see...This is VERY COMMON & should have been discussed prior to causing this situation NOW....Trust me there will be others....DO NOT let her make you MAD ....You will only make this situation worse...There will be more situattions that will come about during your childs teenage years & you can set the tone of how you handle this situations NOW....Be the bigger person....Go to the Family Court in your town & check out your rights...you do NOT need a lawyer....Think about it...Your child will benefit from CAMP....I'm sorry that this is happening to you!
645382
There is no getting away from the child situation...Face it, he has a child from a previous relationship and this child will forever be a part of his life.  If the two of you marry, YOU WILL be a stepmother whether you like it or not.  It wouldn't be right for you to say that you want him all for yourself since he will ALWAYS be interacting with the mother of his child.  You will have to deal with it.  Good luck.
791215
You have to ask a lot of what-ifs when dealing with step-children or even step-parents.\n\nFor instance: What if he/she was my own child?  What if he/she was my real parent?\n\nRealistically, you treat step-children differently.  Sometimes even better than you treat your own children.  I call it over-compensating.\n\nA lot of things also depend on the age, the level of difficulty they are behaving and whether or not you are given some responsibility in their upbringing.\n\nIf the child is difficult with the real parent present, and you don't agree with the way the parent is handling it, try discussing it later during a quiet time alone.  Since the child is a step-child I will assume you are married and so your spouse should be able to handle some criticism from you.\n\nIf the child is difficult while you are babysitting (so to speak) then let that child know there will be punishments.  Again, age will dictate whether or not they go to a corner for quiet time, or have a video game taken away.  You should not have to suffer unruly behavior just because the child isn't yours.\n\nSometimes the child is missing a parent and needs a little empathy.  If they are bored and become unruly, go for a drive, discuss things that are enjoyable for both of you.  You can do things without spoiling.  A park, bike ride, horseback riding or even a movie once in a while is great together time.