Is it possible to save a marriage when your spouse does not know what she wants?
924247
Deja Vu!?!?!?\nMy dh suffers from depression, (yet refuses to take  meds the doctor prescribed), and alcoholism runs (more like gallops) in his family, but still he denies HE has a problem.   \n\nHe decided after many good ears, that he just wanted out!  No reason,.....  he refused to attend counselling, and "marriage counselling" takes both partners attending.\n\nKids and I  let him know he was loved, valuable and that we all wanted him to stay.  He just refused to take meds, got into hiding his drinking, and had an affair and moved out.\n\nI learned the hard way, but any 12-step program (AA, etc) will tell you  that the first step is for the person  to admit  that he/she has a problem.  Until they admit  that, and decide that they WANT to change,.....  there is no-one that can MAKE them change.\n\nYour wife seems to be just as confused.  She's got to decide what  she wants first.  Then, and only then, can you guys try to fix it up.\n\nFor the sake of your kids and the marriage, I hope she gets medical supervision for the depression and gets off the booze.  Booze and depression are a BAD combination.
762629
Now what exactly is she unhappy with?  My guess is she's not giving you the full story.  Did she suddenly decide that a married life and the responsibilities that go with it, is not what she wanted in the first place?  Was she upset with you because you were gone and she was feeling lonely?  Is there another man in the picture?  If you are even going to try to save your marriage, you need to do a heart to heart talk with her and find out what she wants out of the marriage.  If she wants out, then I guess she has made her choice.  Not much you can do about it then.
980445
If one party claims that the marriage is not irretrievably broken, then the court can suggest counseling.  I don't believe, however, that they can actually require it, but it can certainly delay the divorce.
440121
To save a marriage there has to be love.  To even consider saving a marriage hints that there is still love.  Don't throw it away unless your sure all the love is gone.
331209
Was this an "arranged" marriage by chance? Are you married to someone you don't really know or love? Sounds like it might be that way if you don't know what to talk to your own husband about...especially since you're just married! If you're having an issue and don't know how to approach your husband then I wonder why you married someone like that in the first place..unless of course it wasn't your decision...I can't quite tell from the way you phrased your question...
722854
My wife does not seem to think so.
194345
I don't think there is really any way to tell your wife and keep her, unless she is extremely forgiving and you are willing to change and be faithful.  Even then, not likely to work out.  On the other hand, you need to be honest and get this out, better she hears from you than figures it out on her own.
791334
Sounds like your husband should go to counseling with you.  Try and ask him if he'd go to marriage counseling with you.  It might just save your marriage.
188279
show her that u love her and willing to work on marriage show her that u care talk to her in a way that she answer u honestly whats bothering her and she can open up .. and don't give up if really want this marriage to work it will if u just make her understand that u love her
176510
It is possible, yes. I doubt that he will say anything about it even if he does suspect that you are not. Did you not notice anything when you lost yours? Why would you not tell him? You should not start your marriage on a lie. Marrige is hards enough on its own, much less when you built it upon sand. Tell him. Build you marrige on a rock.
342842
I think your only mistake was not telling her. You need to let her go to be able to continue and have a happy marriage, you have the best thing though, memories.
150630
It is pretty common to be a little unsure.  I think that even continues into the marriage sometimes.  You would be wise to ask yourself why you aren't sure though.  Make sure it isn't anything that goes against your personal values, morals and priorities.  If it doesn't, and you love him, commit to staying committed.  The most important thing to making a relationship work is that neither of you is willing to give up.
1110517
If you truly feel that it is up to you, then make your decision based on your feelings, but remember to apply the entire story to your decision.  In other words ... I have known people who have gone back to cheating spouses, and have built good relationships from them, but both people had to change from their selfish ways to ways that promoted selflessness.  The more selfless they became, the better the relationship worked.\n\nI'm not sure that will work ... I would tell you to follow your heart, but the heart is prone to evil and to the world.  If it is not your fault that he cheated (which it never is), but you think you should take him back ... I would do it.  Despite what the world teaches, infidelity by way of affairs is not the worse thing that can happen to a faithful spouse.\n\nBe well, and Love with all of your heart.  You're greatest reward is not on earth.
663444
Divorce can be the solution \nbut are u sure that u don't love u husband and  do u have children ?... because children will suffer in all that
150566
probably better to ask a marriage counselor : ) it could be lots of things, some which are "fixable", some which aren't.
603781
If you want to save your marriage, you both need to ask God\nfor help. He will be the only one who can fix it.
296459
Sometimes, I have to tell my husband about the things I am doing for him (or not doing to him).  Sometimes he has to do the same for me.  \n\nI know, in an ideal world that if you do the right thing, everything else will just fall into place, but that has not been my experience.  We are human, and as such, we are sometimes completely self-absorbed. When we are in such a state, we will never see the kind actions of our spouse, no matter how wonderful they are.\n\nGently point out to your husband the things that you do out of love.  My husband and I reached a turning point in our marriage when I finally stood up and said "I AM a good wife, and here is why..."  It made him look at me in a completely different way.  He began to see things he had overlooked before, and consequently, began to appreciate me more.