Leaving marriage for old flame?
916942
Sounds like your wife is getting the attention from Mr. X that she wasn't getting from you.  \nUnfortuntely, when there's difficulty in a marriage, and then all of a sudden there's a new baby, life goes into overload.  However, caring for an infant makes a woman feel almost invisible because her life, especially in the first few months, is only about (breast)feeding, diaper changes, and putting the baby to sleep.  With the lack of sleep and the limited amount of personally time, women need EXTRA pampering and attention to keep from disappearing.  Sounds like she was just going thru the motions of a routine boring life, and the old flame has brought some excitement and a spark back into her life.  She's feeling alive at the moment, probably something she hasn't felt in a very long time.  Hard to say what you can do at this point, especially if she is adamant on going to see him.  Don't blame her if she does.  Maybe she just needs to get it out of her system.  Who knows.  Maybe you can reflect on what your position was in all of this, and if you weren't as attentive and loving as you should've been, try giving her what she needs now before it's too late.  Pampering and attention... that's what she needs.  Go sweep your wife off her feet!
583107
Maybe turn back the clock and remember what brought you both together and go back there and re-kindle the flame.*\n\nAfter five years there love there that will never go away.
478817
Young lady, marriage is a VERY serious step to take.  If this man 'ripped your heart out' in the past, what makes you think he won't do it again after marriage?\n\nI'd BREAK THE ENGAGEMENT off!!...Then go out and parteeeeee to forget all about him!!
918770
Do yourself a favor and stop the relationship immediately. If he hasn't changed his ways in the last 7 years, he isn't going to start now.  You cannot change people, they have to want to be different, and they have to want to make things better for themselves.  What is it about him that makes you want to stay with him?  And be HONEST with yourself.  Is it merely because you've been with him so long it's comfortable?  I hate to be this blunt, but you need to break this one off or you will just be very unhappy as a married woman, and I can almost guarantee you will end up a divorce statistic.
246175
The grass isn't always greener on the other side. Maybe you need to examine your marriage and figure out why you would even consider ruining your marriage for something that happened in your past? \n\nOr if you feel that this person is really your "soul mate" then life's short live it happy, and if this is what is going to make you life happier and more fullifield then do what your head not your heart thinks is right.
117844
Probably not...He has no insentive to move on because he has you on the side and still gets to stay married to someone else.  If he is having problems with one of you then there is the other so why would he need to ever choose.  The longer this goes on though the more likely it is he will break it off with you and return to his wife.  In the end your the odd one out and the easiest to get rid of.
449820
LEAVE HIM -- you owe it to yourself to find a happier life.  Don't think that you are too old or that you have invested too much time in this relationship.  Don't let him talk down to you or intimidate you into not leaving.  He's the coward and he's trying to take his insecurity out on you.  The transition period won't be easy, but once you are away from him, you will look back and be glad that you ended it.  Better things are in store for you.  Good luck.
753327
You have quite a dilemma there and that actually happened to me .I was married and didn't love him anymore and didn't have the balls to tell him and looking back i wish i did . I could have saved us all alot of misery. If i could do it over I would've saved up some money and just moved out and left him. That's what you should do .Plan your next move financially and emotionally it will be easier for both of you .
634376
first and foremost you need to sit and talk to your wife. you need to be very honest not only with yourself, but with her. you need to tell her how you feel and be sure to be very considerate and aware of her feelings about your new found life. its not fair for you to continue to put her off or lie to her. honesty is always the best policy. i'm sure that if the two of you cant work things out it will be easier to part ways because you were not only honest with her, but with yourself. good luck!
834044
yes very happy through both good and bad times, there is no one i would rather come home to or spend time with. we have been married for eight years and it just gets better everyday. the primary reason is that she understands/forgives my hobbies and interests and i understand hers. give and take and flexability on both sides make it much easier. the first year was just getting used to each others habits, and the more rigid (i will not/your fault/my way) additudes just scew it up. and forgive and forget. no grudges.
594840
start getting in to things that you have always wanted to do and coudn't while you were married. it will help you alot faster and move on with your new live.you can do any thing you want to do now. just have fun with the thing you choose to do. and who knows you may find love again that if you want that. good luck.
244620
There is no doubt you should leave.  You need to because it is what is best for you and for your kids.  It also may be the only way he will reach rock bottom and truly work on his problems.  You and the kids deserve a life as hard as it may be that isn't lived around him and his problems.  You've given all you have to this marriage but he obviously refuses to give as much of himself.  You deserve more, and your kids deserve more.
918452
No! Explain your feelings to her, and leave it to her to decide! If she is angered, talk divorce. If she understands, why break a GREAT marriage?
476093
It's true that you shouldn't make your decision based on your feelings. If ou find that it's really difficult for both of you to move on like this, I would advice for the divorce.It isn't the nicest thing to do but if you feel you want to, go for it.\n\nIn other words, I would suggest that both of you take another try on your marriage and try to mend it. After all, you've been married and there's a reason to that. You marry because of the love you have for each other. Think about that. Think about the reason why you did it in the 1st place.\n\nYou do not just marry her for no reason. Try using that to mend your marriage. Talk to each other and understand each other better. Counselors sometimes can't be trusted and that's where your money runs. \n\nI really hope you'll think about it. Hope you'll last together and be happy! Hope this helped! Good luck!!
1181298
I'm a male in my second marriage who married a woman who hadn't been married previously and its worked out great. In fact I'm glad the first marriage didn't work and we have been together 20 years and I would marry her again tommorrow. I'm sure your fiance was just meaning the second time around would be best for himself. Communication and genuine friendship is the key and humor is also very important. We often tease each other in a lighthearted manner. Also we have 2 children whom we are very proud of.
683809
Been there - one of the things that helped my wife and I clear out all the rubbish accumulated over 7 years marriage was us going on a marriage course together.\n\nI simply cannot recommend it enough - it has changed us around - website below to find the nearest course.
161352
I'm not one to really talk since I've been divorced twice, but still, I think that unless he's abusing you or your kids, give him a chance to remind you of why you married him in the first place. "For better or worse" There is nothing worse than regret, and if you decide to end the relationship without serious counsuling or prayer (if you're religious) that you may wind up regreting leaving the man whose stood by you all those years. And 9 is a big number, so unless you've been lying to yourself and him for that long, you're marriage deserves a lengthy examination.