Does any one know any good blonde jokes?
927365
what do you call a blonde with 2 brain cell? PREGNANT
709387
LMAO, I love dumb blonde jokes, course I should I hear them all them, seeing as how I am a true blonde.
638942
This blonde buys an Airline coach ticket for Dallas Fort-Worth and when she got on the plane she sat down in the first seat she saw.\n\nA few minutes later, a business man gets on and finds her in the seat he is assigned.\n\nHe asks her to move, showing her the ticket, but she refuses to give up her seat.\n\nHe gets the flight attendent, and she checks the blondes ticket and says:\n\n"Miss, you purchased a coach ticket; you should be in the next section back.."\n\nStill, the blonde refuses to move.\n\nThe flight attendent goes to get the Captain who comes.\n\nHe thinks for a second and whispers in the blonde's ear.\n\nAmazingly the blonde gets up and heads back to coach.\n\nThe flight attendent and passenger ask the Captain:\n\n"What did you say to that blonde to get her to move?"\n\nThe Captain says:\n\n"I told her the First Class section wasn't going to Dallas.."
473450
I dono but from what i've found, is that natural blondes are actually pretty smart, and the ones that dye their hair are more ditsy. And also, blonde jokes are just things that the other girls make up because their jealous that all the guys look at them. but i think blonde jokes are hilarious. (ima natural blonde myself)
1075406
i told u my worst moment, but i gotta joke:\n\nOne nite a blonde is driving on a road. She keeps on swerving back and forth. A police officer sees her. he puts his sirens on and she pulls over. the police officer walks up to her window and asks her y she was swerving. she says kindly, but frusturated that she was trying not to hit the trees in the middle of the road. the police officer replies, "those arent trees, that your air freshener"
745484
A blonde was speeding in a 35 mile per hour zone when a local police officer pulled her over and walked up to the car. The officer also happened to be a blonde and she asked for the blonde's driver's license.\nThe driver searched frantically in her purse for a while and finally said to the blonde policewoman, "What does a driver's license look like?"\nIrritated, the blonde cop said, "You dummy, it's got your picture on it!"\nThe blonde driver frantically searched her purse again and found a small, rectangular mirror down at the bottom. She held it up to her face and said, "Aha! This must be my driver's license" and handed it to the blonde policewoman.\nThe blonde cop looked in the mirror, handed it back to the driver and said, "You're free to go. And, if I had known you were a police officer too, we could have avoided all of this."
833570
It's about time someone came up with a new blonde joke. This is hilarous. I would have never guessed what she was going to say at the end. Very good. I'll give you a 10 on the scale of 1-10. You also got a thumbs up. Great joke...got any more..?
1076654
HA HA HA \nnice n clean joke
591813
By far, best blonde joke I think I've ever heard. (it is long)\n\nCertain words have been changed to protect the censors.\n\nOkay so it's Dec. 24th and a postman is starting his walking route. He comes to the the first house and opens the mailbox and there is a envelope inside that says "mailman" on it. He opens it, it's a $10 bill with a note that says have a nice Christmas. He proceeds to the next house and there is a card that says "mailman" which he opens to reveal $20. He thinks to himself, "Wow, this is going to be a good day!" He comes to the third house and there is a note: Mailman, knock on the door for your Christmas present. He knocks and the door swings open to reveal a beautiful naked blonde woman. She grabs him, pulls him inside and well... anyway, the censors are watching, but you get the Idea.\n\nAs he is putting his clothes back on the blonde woman disappears for a minute into the kitchen and brings back a tray with a huge breakfast on it. Biscuits, gray, bacon, eggs, the works. He's like WOW, thanks and proceeds to eat it. \n\nHe glances at his watch and says, thank you, but I have to get going. As he is moving to the door the blonde hands him a dollar and says Merry Christmas. He's looks at the dollar and then at her and says no thanks, 'maam, you've done enough! She says, oh no, you have to take it, it's my husbands idea. The mailman pauses, "You husbands Idea?" "Yeah," she says, "Last night I asked him if I should do anything for the mailman for Christmas and he said, 'screw him, give him a dollar,' breakfast was MY IDEA!"
1049308
Well, guess you could tell by my screen name, I truly am BLONDE.  I hear blonde jokes all the time and I don't take any offense to them.  I actually think some of them are pretty darn funny.  I have a great sense of humor, and I can dish out just as much as I take in!  Don't sweat the small stuff!!!
257903
My favorite dumb blonde joke:\n\nDumb blonde on a 4 engine plane hears the captian say "folks we have one engine out, there is going to be a 1 hour delay"...a few moments later he comes across again "engine 2 is out, that's going to be another hour delay"...they fly on for a couple more hours again the captian comes across "engine 3 is out, 1 more hour delay"...the dumb blonde jumps up and says "Damn, hope engine 4 doesn't go out, if it does, we're gonna be up here allllll day"
222227
How do confuse a blonde?...put her in a circular room and tell her to sit in the corner \n\nQ: Why do blondes have TGIF on their shoes?\nA1: Toes Go In First.\nHow do you drown a blonde? a. Put a scratch and sniff at the bottom of the pool. \n\n\nOne day two blondes walk into a perfume shop. The one blonde picks up a bottle of perfume that is titled "Viens Chez Moi." \nThe blonde asks the manager what it means, and the manager says it means, "Come to Me." \nSo the blonde smells the perfume and asks her friend, "Does this smell like come to you? Because it doesn't smell like come to me."\n\nA blonde is like a pooltable, put a dollar in and she'll rack your balls\n\nQ: How can you tell a blonde's been in your fridge? \nA: There is lipstick on the cucumber.\n\nWhy did the blonde run out of shampoo? \nShe kept following the instructions: lather, rinse, repeat!\n\nWhat do you call a blonde with half a brain? \nGifted \n\nWhat's the difference between a blonde and the internet? \nNot everyone's been on the internet!\n\nQ: What's worse than a redhead and a brunette trying to build a house underwater? \nA: A blonde trying to set fire to it. \nDid you hear about the two blondes that froze to death at the drive-in theatre?They went to see "Closed For The Winter". \nA blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender, "Wanna hear a blonde joke?"\nIn a hushed voice, the guy next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, you should know something."\nOur bartender IS blonde, the bouncer is blonde. I'm a 6' tall, 200 lb black belt. The guy sitting next to me is 6'2", weighs 225, and he's a rugby player. The fella to your right is 6'5" pushing 300 and he's a wrestler. Each one of US is blonde. Think about it, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?"\nThe blind guy says, "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times." \n\nA blonde, redhead, and brunette were looking at a dictionary for the hardest words they knew. The brunette's word was quizzical. The redhead's word was photosynthesis. The blonde's word was dick. \n\nA blonde goes into an electronics store. She wants to buy a TV. She picks one out and goes to pay for it. She says "i would like to buy this TV. The cashier says "I am sorry but we dont sell to blondes." So she goes and buys a wig. The next day she puts in the wig and goes back to the store. The cashier says agian, "I am sorry but we dont sell to blondes" so she dyes her hair black. The next day she goes back. the cashier says again, "I am sorry but we dont sell to blondes" So she asked "How do you know I am blonde!" The cashier says "because that isnt a TV its a microwave." \na blond went in to a hairdresser and sit's down on her usual seat when the lady with sissors comes out she says to the blonde to take her head phones off but the blonde says she would die without them so the lady with sissor's cuts the tips of the ladies hair until she falls a sleep the lady gentaly removes her headphones so shecan cut the rest of the hair but just as she was trimming the blonde fell down dead so the lady with sissor's wonders if the headphones had anything to do with the deat h so she puts the headphones on to hear what they were saying and it said : BREATH IN.....BREATH OUT.....BREATH IN.....BREATH OUT. I usually don't like blond jokes (or jokes that make fun of people) but here is my favorite:\n\nA blonde and a lawyer are on a plane to LA. The lawyer turns to the blonde and says lets play a game, I’ll ask you a question and i you get it wrong you give me $5 and visa versa. the blonde tired and wanting to get sleep said thanks but I’m going to pass. the Laywer said how about if i get a question wrong I’ll give you $500 and you’ll only have to give me $5. The blonde liked the idea and said ok the lawyer aske
339371
its not too dirty but this one cracked me up\n\n\n\nThe Three Wishes\n\nso a guy walks into a bar and orders a drink. the bartender notices how strong and muscular he is but notices his rather small head. so he asks the guy what's up with that. so the guy begins to tell his story,\n\nwell last week when i was taking a walk into the woods i heard someone crying for help near a stream. to my amazement it was a frog. she told me to give her a kiss and i would be granted three wishes. seeing i had nothing to lose i kissed her.all of a sudden she turned into a beautiful naked woman. she goes you now have three wishes.\n\ni looked down at my scrawny 115 pound body and said. i want a body like arnold swarzenneger. then i suddenly had a body like his but because it was much bigger than my clothes they ripped off and i was standing there naked. she said two more wishes\n\nwell i looked at her beautiful body and said i want to make passionate love to you. so we did that for a couple of hours. then she replied one more wish\n\nand i sead....how about a little head?\n\n\n\nlol
180673
101? I ONLY HAVE MY BEST 3 JOKES...HOPE IT DOESN'T OFFEND U\n\n1\n\nFresh from her shower, a woman stands in front of the mirror complaining to her husband that her breasts are too small.\n\nInstead of characteristically telling her it's not so, the husband uncharacteristically comes up with a suggestion. "If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet paper and rub it between your breasts for a few seconds."\n\nWilling to try anything, the wife fetches a piece of toilet paper and stands in front of the mirror, rubbing it between her breasts.\n\n"How long will this take?" she asks.\n\n"They'll grow larger over a period of years," he replies.\n\nThe wife stops. "Why do you think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between my breasts everyday will make my breasts grow over the years?"\n\n"Worked for your butt, didn't it?"\n\nHe lived. And with a great deal of therapy, may even walk again..\n\n\n2\n\nMan driving down road.\nWoman driving up same road\nThey pass each other\nWoman yells out her window, "PIG!"\nMan yells out his window, "B.I.T.C.H!"\nMan rounds next curve\nCrashes into a huge pig in middle of road.\n\nThought For The Day : If only men would listen. \n\n\n3\n\nThe mother-in-law stopped unexpectedly by the recently married couple's \nhouse. She rang the doorbell and stepped into the house. She saw her \ndaughter-in-law standing naked by the door.\n\n"What are you doing?" she asked.\n\n"I'm waiting for my husband to come home from work," the \ndaughter-in-law \nanswered.\n\n"But you're naked!" the mother-in-law exclaimed.\n\n"This is my love dress," the daughter-in-law explained.\n\n"Love dress? But you're naked!"\n\n"My husband loves me to wear this dress! It makes him happy and it \nmakes me \nhappy. I would appreciate it if you would leave because he will be home \nfrom \nwork any minute."\n\nThe mother-in-law was tired of all this romantic talk and left. On the \nway \nhome she thought about the love dress. When she got home she undressed, \nshowered, put on her best perfume and waited by the front door. Finally \nher \nhusband came home. He walked in and saw her standing naked by the door.\n\n"What are you doing?" he asked.\n\n"This is my love dress" she replied.\n\n"Needs ironing." he said.\n\nHEHE>>HAVE FUN 2 YA GUYZ READING
341228
The Top 10 Dumb Blonde Inventions (11-18, I made Up and Found On Internet):\n \n1) Waterproof Towel\n2) Solar-Powered Flashlight\n3) Submarine Screen Door\n4) A Book On How To Read\n5) Inflatable Dart Board\n6) Dictionary Index\n7) Helicopter Ejector Seat\n8) Powdered Water\n9) Designer Camouflage\n10) Waterproof Tea ag\n11) Wireless Dog Leash\n12) Silent Car Alarm\n13) Glass Hammer\n14) Brick Window\n15) See-Through Swimsuit\n16) Pet Rock\n17) Wooden Soap\n18) Pedal-Powered Wheel Chair\n \nMore Jokes:\n \nQ: How do blonde brain cells die ? \nA: Alone. \n\n\nQ: How do you change a blonde's mind? \nA: Blow in her ear. \n\nQ: How do you measure a blonde's intelligence? \nA: Stick a tire pressure gauge in her ear! \n\nQ: How do you keep a blonde busy all day? \nA: Put her in a round room and tell her to sit in the corner. \n\nQ: How did the blonde die ice fishing? \nA: She was run over by the zamboni machine. \n\nQ: How do you get a blonde to marry you? \nA: Tell her she's pregnant. \n\nQ: How does a blond spell farm? \nA: E-I-E-I-O \n\nQ: How does a blond kill a fish? \nA: She drowns it. \n\nQ: A blond going to London on a plane, how can you steal her window seat? \nA: Tell her the seats that are going to London are all in the middle row. \n\nQ: What do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you? \nA: Run....she's got a hand grenade in her mouth. \n\nQ: What do you call a blonde golfer with an iq of 125? \nA: a foursome. \n\nQ: What do you call a blond mother-in-law? \nA: An air bag. \n\nQ: How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday? \nA: Tell her a joke on Wednesday. \n\nQ: What is the blonde doing when she holds her hands tightly over her ears? \nA: Trying to hold on to a thought. \n\nQ: Why did the blonde stare at frozen orange juice can for 2 hours? \nA: Because it said 'concentrate'. \n\nQ: Why did the blonde take two hits of acid? \nA: She wanted to go on a round trip. \n\nQ: Why did the blonde snort Nutra-Sweet? \nA: She thought it was diet coke. \n\nQ: Why did the blonde bake a chicken for 3 and a half days? \nA: It said cook it for half an hour per pound, and she weighed 125. \n\nQ: Why did the blonde put her finger over the nail when she was hammering? \nA: The noise gave her a headache. \n\nQ: Why did the blonde have blisters on her lips? \nA: From trying to blow out lightbulbs. \n\nQ: Why did the blonde climb up to the roof of the bar? \nA: She heard that the drinks were on the house. \n\nQ: Why don't blondes have elevator jobs? \nA: They don't know the route. \n\nQ: Why do blondes work seven days a week? \nA: So you don't have to retrain them on Monday. \n\nQ: What is the difference between a dead blonde in the road, and a dead skunk in the road? \nA: There are skid marks in front of the skunk. \n\nQ: What is the difference between Elvis and smart blondes? \nA: Elvis has been sighted. \n\nQ: What is the difference between blondes and traffic signs? \nA: Some traffic signs say stop. \n\nQ: What's the difference between a blonde and a shopping cart? \nA: The shopping cart has a mind of its own. \n\nQ: What did the blonde do when she noticed that someone had already written on the overhead transparency? \nA: She turned it over and used the other side. \n\nQ: What did the really dumb blond say when someone blew in her bra? \nA: Thanks for the refill. \n\nQ: How does a blonde commit suicide? \nA: She gathers her clothes into a pile and jumps off. \n\nQ: How do you plant dope? \nA: Bury a blonde. \n\nQ: How do you get a one-armed blonde out of a tree? \nA: Wave to her. \n\nQ: How does a blonde measure his/her IQ? \nA: With a tire gauge! \n\nQ: How do you make a blonde's eyes light up? \nA: Shine a flashlight in their ear. \n\nQ: How do you kill a blonde? \nA: Put spikes in their shoulder pads. \n\nQ: How do blondes pierce their ears? \nA: They put tacks in their shoulder pads. \n\nQ: How do you drown a blond? \nA: Leave a scratch and sniff at the bottom of the pool. \n\nQ: How doe
880946
I agree with you 100% -- I am a blonde who loves blonde jokes.... those that are offended just need to move on to a different section...
289000
Here are some that I love :\nA blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender, "Wanna hear a blonde joke?"\n\nIn a hushed voice, the guy next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, you should know something."\n\nOur bartender IS blonde, the bouncer is blonde. I'm a 6' tall, 200 lb black belt. The guy sitting next to me is 6'2", weighs 225, and he's a rugby player. The fella to your right is 6'5" pushing 300 and he's a wrestler. Each one of US is blonde. Think about it, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?"\n\nThe blind guy says, "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."\n------------\nblonde goes into a nearby store and asks a clerk if she can buy the TV in the corner.\n\nThe clerk looks at her and says that he doesn't serve blondes, so she goes back home and dyes her hair black.\n\nThe next day she returns to the store and asks the same thing, and again, the clerk said he doesn't serve blondes.\n\nFrustrated, the blonde goes home and dyes her hair yet again, to a shade of red.\n\nSure that a clerk would sell her the TV this time, she returns and asks a different clerk this time.\n\nTo her astonishment, this clerk also says that she doesn't serve blondes.\n\nThe blonde asks the clerk, "How in the world do you know I am a blonde?"\n\nThe clerk looks at her disgustedly and says,"That's not a TV -- it's a microwave!"\n----------\nBLONDE DEODORANT\n\nA blonde walks into a pharmacy and asks the assistant for some bottom deodorant. The pharmacist, a little bemused, explains to the woman that they don't sell bottom deodorant, and never have.\n\nUnfazed, the blonde assures the pharmacist that she has been buying the stuff from this store on a regular basis, and would like some more.\n\n"I'm sorry," says the pharmacist, "we don't have any."\n"But I always get it here," says the blonde.\n"Do you have the container it comes in?"\n"Yes!" said the blonde, "I will go and get it."\n\nShe returns with the container and hands it to the chemist who looks at it and says to her, "This is just a normal stick of underarm deodorant."\n\nThe annoyed blonde snatches the container back and reads out loud from the container, "To apply, push up bottom."