I've tried talking to my husband unnecessary spending but he continues to spend. What should I do?
912845
~I was going to say that, Druid, but you beat me to it.  I'll defer to your experience.  And for you others, listen up.  Druid knows whereof he speaketh.
832848
The key to your question is--on and off--I would never suggest that anyone spend that much on a--on and off--Let him spend the money. A gift could and should run about 50 bucks.What you start off doing, he will expect from then on.Can't he use an office set,tools,or maybe outdoor equipment?Just take care of your money, until it gets SERIOUS..Good luck.
157851
Do you have any other cluess? it is weird, but i wouldn't say it is definitive.\nIf you have a good comunication with him you must know what are the causes of this, what are his arguments, and if they are valid.\nI mean, if he lives with you and especially that nigth he has plans that you cannot know about, well... that situation is hard to defend.\nBut if you don't really spend nigths together regularly, then he migth have some good point to rely on.\nTalk, talk, talk....
562885
You are so selfish. It's all about money to you. It would be such a convenience to you if could just move in with him, no regard for how he or your kids feel. Maybe he knows this and that is why he is not moving the relationship forward. You need to give the poor guy a break and move away, learn how to deal with life on your own, and then try to get into a healthy relationship...
640886
spend more tym wiv him speak to him . i think dis will help
428809
dont get a new husband but yes he was wrong but vows are till death do u part for better and worse\nhell yea he should have asked you first i would be pissed\nbump it get the house leave it in your name explain to him that marriage is a 100 100 type of deal he gotta give 100 and so do u and u need to communicate to have a relationship and stop giveing the man your check\nput your money together and pay bills and take care of your baby seems like he has too much control over everything and i think its gone to his head seek a counselor it couldnt hurt
171382
If he is otherwise a good husband but just has problems with money, you can still fix this.  I would advise you to seek marriage counseling.  In the meantime, take control of all of the bills.  Contact a debt consolidator to help you pay off your bills quicker.  He may feel inadequite but help him to understand that some people just are not good with money.  \nI am in the same situation but I stopped it before it got out of hand.  My husband literally gets an allowance every week and when it's gone, it's gone.  I have taken over the bills and they are now getting paid on time.  We got both of our credit reports to see what all we needed to pay off and little by little it is disappearing.  \nIt took awhile to get in the hole that you are in so it will take ahwile to get out.  \nDefinately seek counseling to try to work things out.  Money shouldn't be the reason for divorce.
565018
Make a list separately of what you both want, enjoy, need - pay no attention to order or anything Else. Then get together and compare, here you can eliminate or even add to a single list you agree on. Then place them in order of importance, please no arguing - if it is important to you (or him) then it is - no matter what you (or he) thinks. Now we have a list, next place a time next to them. House - 3 years, vacation - 1 year etc. Then put dollar amounts next to them - house deposit needed $10,000 divide that by 36 (3yearsx12) you now have a monthly value. Once you have done this you will see that you have monthly values for the things you are trying to do. Then add up everything and get a monthly total. You'll either have enough to do it all or not enough to do it all. Then sit down again and work out what you can eliminate or reduce - going to the bar (or whatever) once every two months is cheaper than going every week(or night!). House deposit in 4 years instead of three etc - Once you can see what you can achieve, and you are both on board, then it is easy to do. This may take a few talks, so get coffee and cookies and sit in a nice and comfortable room. \nThe idea is to give your spouse something they want, and help them understand in order to get it, they need to save/cut back/stick to budget - whatever term works best - to get it. Where 'it' is something they (and you as a couple) agree is worth saving for.\nGood Luck!
212825
Don't worry...this is very common. The best thing that you guys can do is to get together and come to agreements about your finances and stick to a budget...that way, if/when either one of you buy something outside the budget...you get called out. Also, it is best to sit down and just have a heart to heart on all of the frustrations that you are both going through...the worst thing that you can do is to sweep it under the rug and let it build up! Also, make a pact to only talk about things in a calm manner and do it all in one session instead of doing it everyday(a peaceful home is a happy one). Also, remember that you are adjusting to each other and that you are both going to find things that annoy you about the other person...but, also look at the positive things and especially the positive things that you have noticed since you have been married!
44940
create a new budget that is smaller.  This may mean having only one car, or less extras like eating out and fast food.  There are many areas that you can cut the corners.  I have been staying at home for 9 years now and it is only the last 4 years that I have been working at home with my own business.  I do it for fun not because our budget demands it.  \n\nGood luck with it.  If you can't do it in the situation you are in.. either you have to change the budget or your husband needs to get a better paying job.  If both of those are maxed to as good as you both can do - then you may have to work.
701185
A gift card to his favorite store. A bottle of his favorite drink.  Cash that is his to spend on what he wants.  Tickets to his favorite sporting events (season tickets if possible).  If he likes football, direct Tv's football package.  Make his favorite food homemade.  Relieve him of some of his hated chores example: promise to mow his yard for the year or for however long, shovel the walk, clean the gutters, paint the house, or hire a handyman to come by once a month, week or what ever to help him out with his "honey do" list.  Arrange for him to spend more one on one time with his children or grandchildren. \n Hope you find something...we face the same issues.   A father-n-law with no real hobbies and he always says he doesn't want anything???
254042
I have been struggling with this for a while now.  My husband keeps telling me to spend less.  Well he went in the kitchen and fixed him a sandwich and decided I could buy Miracle Whip instead of the store brand.  Then he wanted bacon and I passed that up in the store trying to cut corners.  Can't do that any more.  The price of things just keep escalating, I am ready to give up.
227189
The Key is NECESSITY. If you have trouble with spending money, then try to stick with only buying items that YOU NEED and  you know what you really need or not and what you can do without.  Also try to limit the amount you spend each week and try to maintain a certain amount for each week and that will limit your use.\n\nOh and most importantly, PUT MONEY ASIDE FOR  YOUR BILLS FIRST BEFORE ANYTHING ELSE, then things might go a little smoother for you. But dont forget the key, Think: NECESSITY AND BILLS.
163670
The first thing you need to do is sit down and figure out what your expenses are. What are the bills you *have* to pay:\nrent\nelectric bill\nfood\ngas\ncar payment\n\nThese are all non-discretionary bills\n\nThen subtract your total monthly non-discretionary spending from your total monthly income, this number is what you can use on discretionary spending. Then agree on a personal spending allowance (play money) for each of you that you can spend each month. If he wants a new toy then he's going to have to save up his play money. The rest of the discretionary money should go toward common goals like paying down your debts and nice things for the both of you.\n\nThe link below is a great link to an excel spreadsheet that helps you calculate this. Just plug in the numbers and it does the rest!
529599
He may have fallen into the "make more money to have a better life with my family" obsession/trap.  Get him to talk about "why" he's doing what he's doing.  If he's in that mindset, help him remember that money is a means to and end and that losing the end while pursuing the means is foolish.  Um, don't make him "feel" foolish, though.
893061
It's a little late for this year, but a strategy I've found to be effective is by doing my shopping a little at a time, beginning, if you must, in January.\n \nHowever, this solution still doesn't deal with the underlying problem.  It sounds as if you and your husband have very different attitudes toward money--a situation that's not all that uncommon.  I know this from firsthand experience because it exists in my own home (though it's not nearly to the extreme you describe)--my situation for years was one of having to watch every penny and make choices between a cup of coffee and putting gas in my old jalopy, while my other half was used to thinking that money was something that, if he ran out, he could always get from his father.  Over the years he's learned to rein in his spending, but he never will be the penny pincher that I am (by the same token, I've become a little less prone to making a dime do the work of a dollar).  \n\nYou refer to your spouse as the "major breadwinner"--does he have the attitude of "it's MY money, I work for it, and I should get to spend it as I like?"  If so, I think that, as a couple, you would benefit from talking with a neutral third party--a clergyperson or a counselor--who can help you.  \n\nNow, for this year, a lot depends on the ages of your children.  If they're still fairly small, dollar stores will provide some gifts that will brighten the holiday for them.  You might also use this as an opportunity to teach your children about giving by donating some of their outgrown clothing and toys to a charity or a drive for such things in your area.  Stimulate their creativity, too, by making decorations with them.\n\nHope this gives some ideas, but until you and your other half deal with the problem of his spening habits, it's just going to be the same old thing year after year.
840693
The fact that you said you "have" to buy him a present makes it sound more like an obligation than something out of the heart. How about just spending time together? That beats everything. But that's just me.