I am feeling a little bitter towards my husband?
915608
because you were betrayed, and even though it's been a year it's still going to bother at certain times. epsecially since you said it was around this time last year you found out about the affair. it's normal, just don't let it ruin what it is that you's have rebuilt since then.\n good luck!!
489150
Good riddance to him. He is not a supportive husband. He is useless. Don't regret what you have done.
110513
I just had  baby, so I know what you mean with the weird hormone stuff. What I found works is to find a time to talk to him when you are not PMSing. Find a way for him to nicely let you know that you are making him mad/sad. Make sure that you won't be insulted or hurt by the way that he tells you. ie: don't say shut up/ your a b**** or anything like that. Then take a moment to go to another room, even if it's just the bathroom and breathe. Don't think about it and try to relax, meditate, or whatever works for you. After you have taken a bit of time away, you will probably feel better and be able to see the situation in a whole new perspective. This will also prevent you from further hurting your husband's feelings.
422707
I am also a "passive" person, but not quite to the extent your husband is.  Have you ever considered the fact that your husband grew up in chaos, and didn't have a male figure around for him to learn from?  Don't know his background, but his "symptoms" sound a lot like the way I grew up.  If it seems he "likes" chaos it could be because he doesn't know how to resolve chaos.  And as far as him "blaming you", have you ever considered that he is feeling pretty crappy cause you can handle things better than him? If you truly love him, be kind and patient and understanding.  Help him learn that you can "fix" chaos.  If you feel like he can walk away from the marriage without ever turning back, have you ever considered that that exact thing may have happened to him?  Try turning it around and not being so dominant yourself.  Turn to him and let him know you value his ideas, thoughts and decisions, and you NEED him in everyday life and decisions. If he makes a "wrong decision" but it isn't hurtful, life threatening, or irreversible, go with the flow and let him learn from mistakes, knowing you will stand behind him no matter what.
1111223
My mother in law feels sorry for my husband. He thinks that I don't do anything at all..and that I should have a job so he doesn't have to work so hard. \nThe truth is..she was Missing In Action for most of my husband's life..having to work all of the time at menial jobs. He has very few memories of her being there at all.\nSoo...I have learned to avoid her, and shrug off her unsubstantiated criticisms.
1147910
You are not wrong for feeling the way you do about his infidelity.  However, you can be blamed if you are not letting your feelings known to the person(s) you are blaming for putting you in this position of mistrust, anger, sadness...  If you let this go for too long, you'll lose yourself.  Let your feelings out and you'll definitely feel better...and it will give you a sense of freedom to make choices about what to do next.  Separation can be a good thing when trying to figure it out.  Because you are married and even though he is in the wrong, he has a right to know how you feel and what you intend to do about it.  If your desire to give him another chance is there but buried with all the anger then focus on the good you two have shared and go back to those magical moments to help you remember why you were together in the first place.  No one is perfect, wife or husband, we all have faults.  Forgiveness won't be easy but it will give you both freedom whether you stay together or not.  I wish you all the best.
344145
Hmmm...I can not advocate that cheating on your husband no matter what the circustances are is right because if you are unhappy you at least owe it to him to voice your emotions and to move on. Just because you don't have a good relationship does not mean that his feelings should be neglected just to satisfy your own. Since you two have been together for quite some time don't you think that you owe him that much to be honest? You say that he treats you badly and that you are unhappy but I'm sorry that doesn't justify your cheating in anyway especially considering that you have no children involved that might cause you to be stuck in staying. As for the guy that you are seeing now, maybe you are in love and perhaps a future with him will be great but you are more or less in that fairytale stage of a relationship where they can do no wrong and this will fade. If this is something that you honestly feel is worth pursuing in order to make yourself happy then go for it by all means. Just remember that your happiness does not need to be based on a man and that you can find it yourself no matter what the outcome. I think that the betrayal and hurt is going to be worst for your husband who has no idea of what is about to surface and that for you it might be hard but that you'll make it since you have realized that this marriage is no longer what you want. I'm in no way trying to put you down or belittle you for your actions because it happens to the best of us since we are all only human but I would definitely consider your situation a little further and make sure that this guy just doesn't look like a better option because you dont really have the repsonsbilities and obligations that you share with your husband. There are no stings attached at this point with this new guy so it makes it all light-hearted and fun and if you do both embark on a relationship (especially a long distance one) there will be difficulties that will eventually come along. I would suggest taking some time out for yourself once you get a divorce and not rush into anything too quickly. I think that you need to hash out somethings with yourself instead of seeking comfort from a man that is merely supplying what is lacking in ur current relationship. Obviously if you decided to get married to your spouse, these feelings at one point or another were there with him and look at what has become of that. I think you need to just really spend some time with yourself and getting to reaquainted with your independent single self before finding an identity in someone else. I'm sure you are a good person and I hope that whatever choice you make that you will find the happiness that you seek. Just remember the feeling of everyone else involved and don't let your heart do all of the thinking for you during a time when you need to use your head. Best of luck to you:)
512846
You've got a lot of people trashing you right now.  No one seems to be considering that people change and sometimes a couple grows apart.\n\nI don't think it's wrong for you to want to be happy.  LIfe is too short to waste time being miserable.  But you need to level with husband because he's entitled to happiness too.\n\nGood luck.
263963
Take a moment to get the act of cheating to suck in and your emotions under control. Get all your thoughts together in a logically manner. Tell him exactly how you feel,in a lady-like manner because he will expect you to be bitter so don't give him that satisfaction,  don't hold anything back because you don't want to later regret not saying something. Move on with your life and don't look back, don't let him make a fool out of you again. Best of luck.
421897
DON'T  do anything!! hoepfully you have not acted on these feelings, but if you have, you need to come clean with your husband. Sit down and talk with him and tell him how you are feeling,and what made you go out side of your marriage. I am telling you now, it is not going to be an easy task. But there is always hope. Pray about this situation and ask the Lord to restore your marriage.\nDon't Let the Green Gress fool You!!
732827
i felt that way with my husband.
751991
i know the feeling believe me....(((sigh))) but we cannot make this men want us like the way we want them...you just have to get over it...yes it's hard but it doesn't leave us any other option than that...\n\ndon't make yourself miserable and prove to yourself that you are worth more than that man...it's his lost not yours...allow yourself to mourn for your heartache but don't indulge yourself in self pity...try out new things or maybe you can pick up that old hobby you have already forgotten when you were busy loving this man...cheer up and something good will definitely come your way, just be patient and believe!
1059086
Honestly, I'm not a marriage counselor or even close to it.  To me though, it sounds like maybe you and your husband aren't as connected on an emotional level if you ask me (which you did, haha).  Maybe the reason you feel this way for someone else is because you've lost those feelings for your husband.  I know it's hard, after marriage and two kids, but it's important to stay physically, emotionally, and mentally involved with each other.  Just try things like going on dates with your husband.  Try to reconnect with him and remember all of the reasons why you married him.  Maybe your husband has a great personality, wit, and a beautiful mind also.  Maybe you just need to remind yourself of it.
321882
No. The way I feel is if my spouse or signifigant other does not make me happy then chances are I am not making him happy, so best for all is to move on.
616766
if you feel you will be bitter then counselling will help but if you stay then you have to completely forgive him and not bring it up everytime you have an arguement...that means that you have not truly moved on....if you feel you cant get over this then you should leave...i know that if it were me it would be very hard for me to stay. so take your time to decide.  dont live with resentment!
950078
You should have a discussion with your husband about the importance of communication.  Yes, you are still here because you love him.  He has to understand your hurt and disappointment.  You both need to agree to learn how to resolve your problems by communicating better and putting your marriage first above all else.\n\nYou said that you have been going through a rough time and  you were being stupid.  He was afraid of losing you.  If you feel like you've come a long way in your relationship, and the issues that caused the rough patch have been resolved, then let it go.  Don't throw it up in his face when something goes wrong, stick to the issue at hand.  If you don't think you can trust him, tell him so.  BUT I would encourage you both to get counseling; it will serve as a tool for you to move beyond what's happening now.  You don't want to get bogged down in resentment.\n\nIn his way, he recognized his mistake.  He distanced himself from everything associated with that situation.  He deserves a lot of credit for that.\n\nGood luck!
1027468
lose my temper and doubt my spouse