how can a married woman get devorsed and get custudy of the baby?
921428
Bring out his BAD side.  Make him seem incapable of raising the baby and show that you are better capable.  It works effectively.  Good Luck\nA.L.
1082057
every day just remember how much you love your husband and his child. that helps alot
1185950
I agree , when you get to know the person a bond forms between the two. Start out as friends, then work your way up the ladder till a relationship has form. Like she said, you put your trust in them and your heart as well. \nAlso your feelings are share with him/her thru the marriage. Even some partners rather go to their friends, before even telling their spouses. I share things with my husband, and there some things I rather keep to myself. As for women problems, well I go to my friends for that. \nMy poor hubby be sitting there, thinking how he could answer something like that. His mom said I could talk to her. But Then again, I rather talk to the ones I know the most. But my husband is always the one who comes first.
1011939
Your story brings tear to my eyes. Maybe all you can do is emotionally fall apart. You need to grieve, and better now than having collapses when your baby is a toddler and getting on your nerves. It is going to be a whole new life for you, and you have to be prepared for some real suprises from him.  Get you court case ready - be prepared for even worse things - you don't know who your husband really is until you divorce him. Many men fight for custody when it comes time to think about child support - so be "prepared."  HE ALREADY HAS A NICE LITTLE STEP MOTHER THERE AND READY - SO STAY AHEAD OF HIM. Yes life is very cruel that when you are at your most traumatised you have to think about such horrid and practical things - but that is the way of divorce. It is the worst hell you will ever experience. I feel so sick that this is happening to you while you are pregnant and so terribly in need of protection and love. You have to starting thinking about the man you love as an 'opponent' now. It is easy to say but I know that it is a very difficult thing to do. Feelings are what thay are. What you need is to find people out there who will listen to you and let you cry on their shoulder. People are VERY IMPATIENT and they will expect you to get over things very quickly, so have more than one friend to lean on. You have a precious baby on the way and taking care of that baby (alone) will be fill up many spaces because of the overwhelming responsibily. You really have to find compassionate non-condemning, humble friends who can be there for you. You will be poorer - for sure so find some single mothers with babies - because they will be your greatest support system. Your social status has just changed dramatically - and that is one of the most difficult parts of single parentig.  So be "ready." I am sorry that I have very little that is positive to say. Just know that my heart breaks for you.
518005
I think I understand you correctly, but I'm not sure.  You knocked her up, & now you want to make her miscarry?  If that's the case, I don't know what to tell you.  If a woman doesn't want to carry the kid, she can abort it.  If she doesn't want to abort it, but neither of you want to be saddled with that responsibility, she can put it up for adoption.  However, if you don't want to be stuck with it, you're essentially screwed.  You have no legal recourse to make her get rid of a baby.  Don't feel obligated to get married because she might be pregnant, though.  Oldest trick in the book.  You should stop having sex with her now, & insist on a paternity test.  Then, if she has the kid, & proves it is yours, the courts will make you take responsibility for the kid & pay child support without having to marry her.  Then, if you want visitation, you could go to court & set up a schedule, but otherwise, you can let her raise the child as she sees fit, & fulfill your financial obligation.  But first, make sure she is pregnant, & make sure it is your kid.  Never marry some girl because she says she's pregnant.  This may come as a shock, but she could be lying to you.  People do lie, & women have lied about being pregnant to get a husband for a long time.  Don't allow yourself to be forced into something you aren't ready for & don't want to do.  Pay for your mistake, if you truly made it, but don't put the kid through having a dad at home who resents the hell out of its mom for trapping him in a marriage he didn't want.  Just send the checks.  If you marry her without the paternity test, or send payments without proof it is yours, the law where you are may say you're screwed anyway because you took responsibility for the kid.  Tread carefully, & good luck.
612264
No I didn't but Some people I know have and some have turned out really bad and a few good! for instance a guy was married and not himself do to some problems he was having  and the lady he met online laft New York to where he lived to break up the guys many years marriage and she became pregnant and told him either her or me after she told him she was pregnant! And all through the pregnancy she told him it was his baby but after the baby was born she told him it wasn't his. She has done this befor trying to break up other marriages, it seems she only wanted guys that where taken! The guy is back with his wife and they are working things out and doing good!  Then I know of a couple that meet through a group and was just Friends talked here and there but not often over the years and a few years down the road they started talking more and fell in love and now they are happily married and she left the USA to go to his country to be with him! They are a match made in heave and are very happy! So it can happen but then again it can be a nightmare becasue not everyone is honest online. If you are looking for love online becareful and always be truthful for your lies will catch up to you!
1029788
I agree with incan princess ...\n\nThe problem is really YOU !!\n\nFirstly ..you go snopping around his things . you have no respect for other peoples privacy... dont you have a job or something to do instead??\n\nWere you thinking that you where helping a realtionship by doing so ??\n\nNext ,you put out this question up on Yahoo answers and lable it for ladies only.\n\nI am married too .. do you know that i too know many things. My wife is beside me write now ..\n\nwe both agree that you need to change your attitude towards things and your relationship. Show some respect towards your husband. Its probably your behavior that lead him to do what he is doing ... in the first place !!\n\nAnd yes .. for gods sakes .. dont bring a baby into this world  - then go for a divorce. Poor child ...\n\nDisappointed with you !
811279
u should be a man possessed.  become enraged and powerful.  u should almost be a character...there is no husband and wife at that point, there is u and ur prey.  u are a predator and she is ur victim.  THROW her HARD  against a wall and give it to her with reckless abandon.  Pull her hair HARD until she lets u know how hard it is with her noises.  Tie her up.  Pretend u are raping her.  Grab her and bend her over ur lap and spank her until her as* turns red.  Then, after u do that, touch her pu**y and when its wet from ur anger and power, call her out on it and f*ck her with her as* in the air and c*m all over her face.  Bite her.  Those are just a few options...
123875
You and your husband need to talk about the situation, and your mother in law (and/or father in law as well) should be brought into the conversation later, since they are taking part in the wife bashing. If your husband doesn't stop allowing the wife bashing then you need to consider some therapy - he needs to get that you are his wife and his mom should not be beating up on you, and if she does he needs to put a stop to it.  She's entitled to her opinion, but she doesn't need to voice it.
715458
Hey who said all women were nice?\n\nOnly way to find out if the baby is yours is a paternity test and you will have to endure 9months of more psycho behaviour before you really know the answer to that!\n\nI totally advocate family units but I don't agree that someone should stay just because of a child - why must a child suffer an unhappy environment with bitter resentment? If you guys can't make it work then get up and go - if the baby is yours don't forget about it!\n\nThat said - how do you feel about her? Do you still love her - do you want to make it work? Are you ready for a baby? What will you do if it's not yours! Those are all the questions that you have ask yourself and only you have the answers to that!\n\nYou said you were moving overseas and not taking her with you - that's the route of your problem! Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned and she is using not only the baby but your emotion against you!\n\nTough call........Good luck!\n\nXx
1084218
The wife has NO rights to the child of another woman.  Her husband may, if he chooses to claim paternity, his claim holds up. and a court grants him something more than just a financial obligation.
219672
Book her an appointment for a pregnancy massage. She will feel like a new woman trust me. This is one of those anniversaries where the hubby is to pamper the wife...sorry. But maybe you can go out to dinner where you had your first date like my hubby did. Very romantic. Just let her know how much you appreciate her and be very sympathetic of carrying a baby (it is very hard in the last months). just a couple of suggestions!
356512
Talk to your wife! Tell her the situation without getting upset with her. She loves her daughter and knows that her daughter is out of control but who will take care of that child her daughter had? Maybe she feels it is safer for the grand baby to be with the two of you and not left all alone some where. It does seem too much for someone of 23 to act with such disrespect and she seems childish in a way. Set rules with her and tell her it is your home and not to bring strangers into your home again! If u set boundaries and that doesn't work then i would make her leave your home instead of ruining your marriage! I would only leave your wife if she wouldn't respect your wishes for things to change and put her foot down as well. Good luck!
270913
Be nice, you don't have to hang around her or be around her especially if she is a problem. You don't have to put yourself thru any missery, know matter who it is, family or foe. Life is too precious to put up with people like that. I would stay away as much as possible but don't let it come between you and your spouse. Love conquers all. Pray too.
219464
you say;\n\n"momma, sit down honey, cuz  i got sumpin' ta say....\nI made a bad choice, and I left my good judgement at home, so now I have a baby on the way and  I need your help to deal with this' she may get mad, but let her. Just let her cool off and she will be your first line of defence.
1059196
She needs counseling alone to find out what is causing her behavior so she can work on getting better. In the childrens best interest, a marriage counselor would be a good thing to try before you make a descision on divorce. If you have any feelings of love at all left for her you should do whatever you can to make it right before you give up. If all else fails, you should file for a divorce. If she's not willing to change and your just miserable, That can be worse on children than if you were to stay together(this I know from experience). Two miserable parents make miserable children. So, in closing I suggest the whole family get counseling to repair the damage, If that is unsuccessful, you should divorce, but only if you can get Joint custody of your children. I dont know the laws where you are but I know where I am if the father pays child support he is automatically entitled to visitation rights. Visitation is better than nothing at all. It is possible that if she does have some sort of lying problem that you could prove her to be an unfit mother and obtain custody that way if you truly believe the children would be better off and happier with you. You have to do whats best for your children, always put their needs first, they didnt ask to be born into this situation after all. What she did was wrong to trick you into marrying her by getting pregnant. Your whole relationship has been based on deception. Counseling would be the best, but in all honesty It cant fix everything and sometimes people are just better off living seperate lives. I hope this helps you and good luck.
1072273
That is not your only answer.  I don't know where you are getting your advice, but the first place I would check would be a RESPONSIBLE ADULT, as in Female Teacher, Doctor, Health Clinic or Women's Shelter.  Police Department can connect you with the Women's Shelter.  Believe me, don't bring an innocent child into your horrendous situation.  They deserve a much more mature and stable family!!! Get help now and learn skills so that you will never have to be at the mercy of others.  Learn how to be an empowered woman.  I hope that you can learn from other strong women.  Read or listen to Oprah.  She grew up poor and sexually abused.  Boy, did she ever overcome.  You can too!  Don't you settle for anything LESS!!!