Is it appropriate to place an item in a casket at a military funeral?
924795
I placed an item in friend and fellow Soldier's casket. It was a small medallion of St. Christopher 'traveler's saint'. \n\nTraditionally there is nothing against it - just ask the familiy first. \n\nI am sorry for your loss. To the Soldier - thank you for your service.\n\n 'Gratias Ago Tibi'
438566
It is called a Pall and symbolizes our baptismal gown.  (It should have been placed on the casket when it enters the Church, not put on the vestibule.) Our journey of faith, begun at baptism, reaches its fulfillment in death. Flowers, national flags, or flags or insignia of associations are usually not used during the Funeral Mass because one's affiliation with the community of faith, the Church, is the reason for our prayer, not one's service to country or one's affiliation with other associations. However, these other symbols may be present at the mortuary chapel, in procession to and from church, in the vestibule of the church, and at the cemetery.
364555
Ohh.. how about a coffin?
775103
By Christian logic, yes. But that's a terrible, horrible thing to say to a grieving family. Incredibly cruel.\n\nWhen my cousin died, some idiot told my aunt that she went to hell because she wasn't baptised. And, when my sister put something into my cousins coffin, the same idiot told my aunt that if she didn't remove the item, my sister would be taken down to hell with my cousin.\n\nHorrible horrible thing to say. My aunt lost it and it took two days to calm her down enough to allow the item to go back into the coffin for the funeral itself. My sister wanted it in there (it was something that had my sister and my cousins picture on it that they had taken a year before my cousin died). So cruel.\n\nAnd Christians always talk about how sweet and caring they are. What kind of person says that to a grieving mother? Someone that needed her butt kicked, that's who.\n\nEspecially when the mother is a Catholic herself. It absolutely terrified her. She didn't baptise her because she believes (rightly) that it should be up to the person to decide if they want to be baptised or not. And my cousin hadn't yet made that decision (she was 17).\n\nOk, so why do I have two thumbs down after relating something this terrible? Do you think it's ok to act that way or something?
72347
You could keep it in a moisture proof cedar chest.\n\nHowever, if it has sentimental value, I would use it.  Saving things for a special occasion that never comes is sad.\n\nLet it make some memories for you too.  Keeping it in a box will not do that.  And, you can check completed auctions on EBay for current values.
627686
I would approach them and simply say you understand that you don't know them very well, but you wanted to tell them how sorry you are for their loss.  You ask them if there is anything you could do for them.  Take them a meal.  Attend the funeral service (Especially if you live in a state where that "church" has been going to protest at military funerals, saying they deserve to die since they are defending a country that harbors homosexuals.  They are disturbing the funerals, and that is VERY hard on the families, so any people there in support of the family and their grief helps as a buffer from these people.)  If you and your other neighbors have flags in your yard, you could consider asking them all to consider flying their flags at half mast between now and the funeral.  (The proper way to to this is to run it all the way up, then lower it to half.  When you bring it in, run it all the way up again, then lower it.  If it's on a house mounted pole, you adjust the angle of the pole until it's straight out, but do not lower it below that.)\n\nYou let them know you are there if they want to talk about it, and you DO NOT discuss the politics of the war, whether they should all come home, or whether he died for a good cause, how horrible the Pres. is, how you hope he took a few of those "so and so's" with him, or anything like that.  \n\nMilitary families are just like any other - some feel one way, and some feel the other, and unless you know without a doubt their views on the subject, words that were meant to be supportive can end up causing more pain.  Right now, to them, it's not a Soldier, Marine, Sailor, or Airman who was killed.  It's their son, the little boy they raised, who is dead.  Too often people who mean well just don't see that, and it causes more grief.  \n\nIf the family wants to talk about any of that, then take your cues from them - even if you disagree with them - don't discuss opposing views, no matter how "gently" they are shared.  \n\nI'm sorry if some of this sounds offensive, or like it implies you would do this, but you would be surprised at just how many people DO make comments along those lines, without any idea of how painful they can be to the families.\n\nIn short, avoid the politics, and give them the same support and sympathy you would if their child had been killed in any other way.
106655
It dosen't really matter but according to protocol it should be the branch of service. If none are available the branch that is nearist to the deceased gets the job.I have presented the flag to many widows and I was enlisted.  An officer should give the flag if it was another officer or  if enlisted the enlisted should give the flag to the next of kin.
997121
Yes...a box with my cat's ashes. Also the chair that she died on. I keep the box tucked away out of sight, but every once in a while I do come across it and it creeps me out. Obviously I will never get rid of it. As for the chair, its kind of become a mini-memorial, like those little impromptu shrines set up at scenes of fatal traffic accidents. I should have gotten rid of it immediately, but now it seems wrong to.
52613
it is in a shape of a casket
147501
The cremation process begins with the placement of the casket/container in the cremation chamber where it's subjected to intense heat and flame reaching temperatures between 1,400 and 1,800 degrees fahrenheit. All substances are consumed except bone fragments (calcium compounds) and any non-combustible materials, such as jewelry, dental gold, prosthesies, latches, hinges, etc., that were not removed prior to cremation as the temperature is not sufficient to consume them.\n\nThe actual process of cremation itself normally takes two to three hours. Ashes typically weigh several pounds, and take up a space of approximately 150 to 200 cubic inches.\n\nAfterwards, the ashes are placed in a temporary container unless a permanent one has been selected, and are returned to the family or transported to another specified location. Our firm also assists with the memorial or graveside services, or the scattering service as allowed by state law. If you bury or place the cremated remains in a niche or columbarium, a permanent container is often used. The funeral director can assist the family in scheduling any viewing or ceremonies of remembrance that are to occur before cremation, or any post-cremation memorial services, or scattering ceremonies.
750623
Absolutely not!!  That would be an UNauthorized decoration on his uniform.  It's not only NOT allowed, but it wouldn't look right next to ribbons.  If you feel strongly about getting him flowers, get him a very small bouquet for the table to keep at home.\n\nGood idea asking before you went out and did it.  Have fun and enjoy!!
504117
put it in a good box, put a ribbon, with card, then its a gift... but to give it to someone on the toilet...its not even an insult...its not a gift though, but of you being a good toilet samaritan.
516344
I don't know about putting a body on ice. But, it is not required that bodies be embalmed if they are buried within a certain amount of time, and if they are not taken across state lines. There is no requirement for a sealed vault (or, actually, any vault in a private cemetary; vaults really only exist to keep the weight of the soil from collapsing the coffin). There is no requirement for a sealed coffin for immediate burial; seals really don't serve any purpose except to make the deceased's family members feel better. When you're dead you decompose whether in a sealed or unsealed coffin.
736057
The next of kin usually has to pay...........I would talk to a mortuary (funeral home) and talk to them about payment plans, and inexpensive means of burial or cremation. As for a ceremony, there is nothing in the rule books that say you can't have it at home. I would ask the funeral director first and find out for sure....good luck
833707
Most families would be honored and appreciate your just being there.  These days, you don't have to just wear black to funerals, but I would consider each individual family. In some cultures, people do wear black. Again, the most important thing is being there!  \n\nI'm sorry for your loss!!!
236209
Several places to contact.  The funeral home may have a suggestion.\n\nI know of several churches that have had grave sites left to them going unused.\n\nCremation is much cheaper.  It doesn't require an expensive casket, and brings an equality to funerals that is not matched by burials.
373905
The Commonwealth War Graves Commission website (just google search on "Commonwealth War Graves Commission") shows pictures of lots of war graves, including Canadians, many with flowers on them. Yes, of course it is appropriate. These people gave everything they had for us. We should at very least show them we still care about them.