Should I keep Sleeping with My Mum In Law?
930820
I would keep doing it.  You obviously have no respect for your wife, so why let her get in the way of your sleezy relationship?
1066032
He is expected to be close to you.  Tho it shouldnt be a contest.\nShe is his mother and should respect you for his wife.  But apparantly, she's not interested in her husbands concern, but rather her own selfishness.  Does she not have a husband?  Is he her only child/son?  \nAt any rate, I'd stay clear of her at all costs.  He's welcome to visit her.  But I dont see any reason for you to visit her.......OR she to visit your home.  I would discuss this with your mate, and than make it perfectly clear to her....UNLESS she is able to treat you with respect, she's no longer welcome in your home, and you have no desire whatsoever to go to her home....End of discussion.  Might as well resolve it now. It will only get worse once you begin to have children.....
575218
I would get a hotel room instead.  It is her house and you need to respect her rules if you choose to stay there.
956005
Your mother-in-law is'nt a psyco case. in fact you are very lucky to have such a caring mil and you should be greatful to god.\n\nshe stops you from going around the house wihtout a bra because you are a young girls. your mom in law has been with the men in the family for a long time now and they wont think about her in any other sense. but you being new to the family will attract attention easily.\n\nshe is following her meternal instinct of prevention is better thatn cure. why even take a chance of your being in trouble?\n\ninstead of abusing her like this be glad that even after marriage you are getting the same love and care of a mother.
662922
tell mom-in-law to do things your way in your home or hit the highway...[its your life] make your own choices..
555335
If your mother is fit and healthy why would you not take your mother as well?\nYou obviously can afford to take your mother with you or you wouldn't be going on holiday a "few" times a year\nIt seems from writing the question that you do not accord your mother the same status as your family, you only have one mother and at 97 she isn't going to be around forever treat her as you would wish to be treated at that age by your own kids and have a complete family holiday
621855
The best way is with honesty,integrity and respect.I don't know how you feel about her, respect wise, but you owe it to your son. She still is the mother of your child. You will be forever connected it that respect. \nThis what I would want/expect ( I have a 15 month old son too). \n1.I would want to know if my son and I had a place to stay\n2. Can I support myself and the baby without you, and if I can't would you help me?\n3. Will you continue to be in our sons life after the move?\n\nI know that it's much more complex, but that is the basics. Whatever you decide, please remember that you have a precious baby.\n\nIs it possible to work it out?\n\nDoes she know how you feel? Don't lead her in the dark. If she has to take care of that precious baby, she will need peace of mind so that she can concentrate all her energy on him. She needs the patience too. It's harder to be patient when you have so much to think about. Remember that whatever you do to her, you ultimately affect your son too.\n\nGive her the heads up so she can prepare her life  without you.\nTreat her with respect, even when you don't feel like it. She will probably be taking care of your son most of the time. The more civil you are to each other, the better for everyone.\n\nIf you cannot get along with her, just try to be civil.\n\nI hope that whatever choices/decisions you make, you have you son's best interest in the forefront.  He is afterall, the innocent one.\n\nBest Wishes.....
532171
Your mother-in-law is a crazy b*tch. There are a lot of them out there like her unfortunately. My advice is let her know real good that your tired of her crap and that she needs to take her problems elsewhere, not out on you. You might have hell to pay because of standing up for yourself but it sounds like your living close to it already. Your husband is never going to take your side. You might as well get used to that. You have to make the decision for yourself if being married to him is worth all of this. Just remember, if he doesn't know how to stand up for you that doesn't mean he has the right to tell you YOU can't stand up for yourself.\n\nDon't believe this garbage that people tell you that you should just grin and bear it and deal with it the best you can. They only say that because your a woman. They wouldn't say that to a man. If you know something is wrong don't go with it and never give up on something you believe in without a fight. If he doesn't stand by your side in the end he's not worth it.
1067352
you mom in law is in your house, so what has she done to lose your trust of her.is she intefering in your household is she trying to run the house? what is she doing? talk ot your wife and let her know whats going on. you and your kids should come first, have mom in law go somewhere else.good luck.
648419
Yes what is going on?  Ive heard fo younger fellas liking older women, but to actually take that a step further and sleep with you're g/f mum, is sick.  I hope you have dumped him?  Lets not forget that you're mum was the other sado in this, how can she do that to her daugher,i dont know how long you have been together,not that it should matter,she knew he was out of bounds as he was in an intimate relationship with you.  This is something that is going to take a long time to sort out, i dont think i could ever forgive my mum, and i would normally say there is two sides to every story, but in this one there is no excuse for what they have both done to you.  You must feel really confused,a mum should want to protect and love,care and be there when a daughter needs someone and no one else but mum would understand, she has broken so many rules by what she has done, and he is just pathetic to even have had the thought of going there never mind actually sleeping with her. If you think you want to try to save you're so called relationship with you're mum, maybe once you have healed and gone through all the emotions, you could consider councelling.  I would want some closure, maybe not right now as it probably is too painful, all the questions you must be asking and not to mention the thoughts,take a break go away somewhere if you can, visit a friend, give youreself some breathing space to think about how you want to deal with this, and when you feel you are strong enough, start the healing then, but i would keep councelling in mind.  I think you're mum might need some help and as for you're fella, what can i say, is he worth going through the pain you are feeling again?  Because he will do it again.  None of this is you're fault, these are two selfish people who had no regaurd for you're feelings,stay strong, and im so sorry to hear you have had to deal with this.  As i said do what you need to do to get you through this, you are worth so much more than to be treated like that.  Take care, and all the best of wishes for you're future.
367006
I work in a bank and what u should do is have your mum contact a solicitor and have her give you / someone she trusts rights over her affairs. It is called the Power Of Attorney. If your mum is ill her doctor can sign a form saying that she is incapable of looking after her own affairs, and should that day come then the "power of attorney" will have authority over all your mums assets. This is why it is important that it be someone she trusts. There is no need to change all of her things into someone elses name. What I would recommend is that your mum's will be kept up to date so that should THAT day come all of her assets will be divided up as she would have wished.
519262
I agree, the hell with the wife. It is obvious you dont care about loosing her but what if you keep your best friend and he sleeps with someone you really dont want to loose. Not worth the risk to me. Get rid of both of them!!
767822
I agree with what several answerers commented: make mommy-in-law pay 1/3 of the mortgage and bills if everything is supposed to be equal. If she were on her own she would be responsible for 100% of her own expenses - therefore this is a great set-up for her. \n\nHe sounds very selfish and/or uneducated. If his mother isn't insisting on covering a portion of the expenses (medications, groceries, rent, utilities, etc.) she is nothing but a leach. He may be a predator and his mommy dearest may be his partner in crime. If I were to try to bring my mother to live with me she would absolutely refuse unless I agreed to let her handle some of the expenses. My dad is the same way - he carries his own weight and would want to make sure he did his part. It's all in how you are brought up, dear. I would never feel comfortable in a situation like yours - his mother is a bigger priority than you are. I'm not sure how old she is but if she is drawing social security, a pension, public assistance, or whatever she could still have a life of her own, unless she is an invalid or has debilatating health problems. She could move in with a widowed friend and have someone her own age to converse with and do things with.\n\nThe only time I ever paid a portion of the house payment was when I made more than my husband did. We sat down, made a budget, and figured out where monies were to be allocated. I was the saver and he was a spender so I kept a separate savings account that I had money automatically deducted out of my check for. If we needed to draw on that money for emergencies or special expenses we did so only after discussing it. It was never a control thing - it was just a smart thing to do in this day and age. We both agreed that it was smart for me to have my own account (we also had a joint account) once he started earning more than I did, just in case something were ever to happen to him. I also built up credit in my own name - it's just an intelligent thing to do in case anything were to happen to him and I was on my own.\n\nAnother point to ponder in your relationship (you may want to bring this up now before you have a mortgage payment) is what happens if you decide to get (or accidently become) pregnant? What if, for some unforeseen reason, you are unable to work? What about child care expenses, etc.? Kids aren't cheap. Is he going to be able to handle all of your joint expenses alone, if need be? When my husband wanted me to quit my job after I was diagnosed with breast cancer, we agreed that he would pay for 100% of everything for several months while my checks went into savings, just to make sure we could make it on just 1 paycheck.\n\nThere are always options - you just have to consider them.
496741
It seems that your mother in law is lonely.  She must not have anyone else to confide in.  Although this is a burden you shouldn't have to carry, her talking with you alone is helping her.  Examine the problem you had with her before.  The ex's must have allowed her to have this behavior.  Which is why she kept up with them, not for his benefit, but hers.  Another female to confide in, to sympathize with her.  Does she have any of her own daughters?  Maybe she feels she should be able to be close with you as she sees you as her daughter.  She could feel comfortable talking with you because she trusts and respects your opinions.  Being dogged and treated like crap by your husband truly affects who you are.  You question yourself, your existance, your will to go on.  You eventually lose who you are.  All the while clinching to anything for your sanity.  You must decide how you want to handle this.  Do you want to shrug her off and continue to hold your grudge on what she did to you.  Or choose to forgive her and open your heart to her.  It's your choice.
447081
There is nothing wrong with that. You have every right to feel comfortable with your in-laws. If you feel better with them than you do with your own family, its okay too. You are human and you donot have to feel guilty for prefering your inlaws to your own family. Liking your inlaws may even go along way to strenghtening your own marriage.
115420
Goodness.. seems like you are an in-law in an outlaw situation.\n\nThat's sad that your brother-in-law is not supporting you and your wife with helping out with your mother-in-law in her difficult times with cancer, and on top of it, he's taking advantage of your mother-in-laws good nature with taking the car then not paying her for it properly as he promised.\n\nNo, I personally would not allow my son to treat me this way, or at least I would like to think I wouldn't, but my son is quite young, and has a diagnosis that may prevent him from being gainfully employed in the future...he's smart as a whip, but he has social skill challenges... so I can't say I wouldn't bend my own words when he is older.\n\nI have a simular situation with my grandmother-in-law, she has a family member that lives with her and doesn't keep a job, and does some unacceptable things, but it is her choice alone that allows for him to be there and to take advantage of her in this manner.  Even if he ends up putting her into bankruptcy, it is her choice to support him, and I really can't say or legally do anything about it.  \n\nIf your mother-in-law accepts this behavior from her son, that is her choice, it's not right, but still her choice. She is the only one with the power to change how he treats her, not you or your wife, but I'd love to see you get a second set of keys and repo this vehicle and then see how fast he comes to see your mother-in-law !!
696073
I'm not so sure it would be a good idea to call the cops on your mother in-law it will just make the wife mad and do you want that.\nI do recommend you go get it checked out though you may have suffered a concussion so best to be safe check it out if they ask tell them you slipped and wacked your head on a table.  God Bless and Good Luck.  But really find out why she hit you some how it would be good to know your wife must question and do not leave until you have an answer.  Maybe it's because you didn't clean up after you made your breakfast?