I am geting mixed signal from husband again need some advice?
930942
Oh the joys of being married to MEN lol.. \n\nFirst why do u think he likes things on other women? do u really think its because of the teddy? No, its because shes something that hasnt been "conquered" by him, its the mystery under the nightie that he's more interested in, sure she looks sexy, and he's not saying that u wouldnt look sexy in it as well, he basically said he'd want to tear it off of u like a wild animal so why bother.. be greatful for that and that he doesnt yawn when u put it on.. \n\n Your making urself to available.. men like the chase.. they may not admit it.. but they do.. stop giving him such a big head (no pun intended lol) he's eatting it up that he can have u at his beck and call.. and he likes the power trip that he's getting from it.. i doubt seriously that he's wanting another woman, i just think he's forgotten that your worth losing and has gotten to comfortable in the marriage.. he knows all he has to do is snap his fingers and boom ur there to satisfy him sexually..  \n\n Start finding things to do , go shopping , go out with friends, go find a hobbie , heck if i lay in bed and read a book and act as if im to interested in the book, my husband goes nuts why? cause something else has diverted my attention off of him.. and instead of me being all over him as usual.. its a shock to his system of not having my attention and then he starts initiating things..  \n\nIm sure u have talked to him till ur blue in the face and it seems to either work for about a day or two and go back to the same ole same.. or it went in one ear and out the other.. so time to get what u want with out talking about it.. start giving him alittle bit of the cold shoulder so to speak.. make him wonder for a change, get active, stop being at his beck and call.. make him chase u..  Go out and buy a sexy outfit, (normal clothes) go get ur nails done or hair done, start doing things that make u feel good about yourself and feel more confident.. he'll take notice... men like confident women, they like women to not only look but feel confident BUT it also scares them into a wake up call..\n\nWomen can get their men to do anything they want if they handle it the right way.. its just finding out what their nitch is first...\n\nGood luck\n\n@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@\n\nJust read your added details.. \n\nHe looks at to much porn, and your not "allowed" to spend money on such things?????????\nHoney u have more problems then ur man not spending time with u.. he's disrespecting u and controling..\n\nNot allowed to??? kills me, lets see.. your not ALLOWED to spend his money on such things is what im getting from u.. lol hummmmm the judge would see it differently when he's ordered to pay you childsupport and possibly alimony and u could use HIS money on a teddy for some other guy lol.. but i guess that would be ok with him.. lol..\n\n Your husband needs a swift kick in the azz.. and needs to open his eyes.. because this is no way to live.. screw it go on ebay and start selling all his crap so u can have ur own money to spend on whatever the hell u want if he wants to be that way "ALLOWED" .. are u a child or are u a woman?????  He treats u like a child.. he doesnt respect u if he did then he'd know that his marriage vows said to FORSAKE ALL OTHERS.. i doubt it said FORSAKE ALL OTHERS EXCEPT FOR PORN.. love it when people only go by their wedding vows when its convient for them.. \n\nSweetie its time u started worrying about what makes u happy, and let him start realizing he's about to lose you if he doesnt straighten his act up, and if he doesnt, then u have ur answer, because if he loves u , he would at the risk of losing u.. if he doesnt then u know that u mean very little to him and there are alot of good men out there that would love to have a woman treat them the way ur treating ur current husband who doesnt seem to deserve it..\n\n@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
246861
your husband sounds like a loser\ni think you need to leave him for someone who will come home to you
296010
Perhaps you can talk to him and see what you can sort out. It would certainly be better if he could tell you earlier so you can make plans for them. It will be an ongoing issue for your relationship so you need to sort things out both with your kids and his kids. You want to avoid having a situation where he perceives that you are asking him to choose between you and his kids.
199802
Was your husband serious? Either way, this is a major issue. If it was a joke it was in serious bad taste and you need to tell him that. If he was serious, you need to tell him that you're not chattle! If it was a test, tell him to go to hell! If you want to save this marriage, I recomend counceling and getting to the bottom of this. If not, say good bye.
1117184
time to move on.... change your life... tell him NO... make the rules and stick to them..... the more you give in to him the more he will stick to you .... STOP giving him mixed signals and move on ............ God bless
280894
Wow, that's tough.\n\nFirst off, are you having problems with your husband? Because the grass always looks greener if there are issues. If you do have issues with your husband I would suggest counciling, if problems are resolved then see how you feel about the other guy then. Concentrate on your marriage first, if you really love your husband then I would try to fix what you have and see where it goes from there.
344921
make sure your not sending mixed messages - tell your ex VERY FIRMLY that if he tries to touch you again you are getting a restraining order and consider getting one
279374
Well ive never been threw it but ill be more then happy to give you my 2 cents with out calling you a slut, i think part of it is your husbands fault for not making sure you have what you need, now i know alot of people are going to scream for me saying that but its the truth, in a marriage part of our job is doing everything possible to make sure our partner is getting everything we need from them emotionally or sexually. Thats just the way it works for a healthy marriage, The only bit of advice i could give you not being actually in that situation is to eather pick on or the other, i can see you feeling even more torn when your feelings for this other guy are fostered even more and you cant act on it, not to mention the emotional and sexual frustrations that can easily bring. I can understand why you turned to this other man for support you wernt getting at home. But i can only see you hurting yourself in the long run if you dont cut ties with one of them. That is unless you totally dont love your husband anymore and your just in it for everything youve envested on a tangable level that you dont want to lose. But honestly do you think if you bumped this relationship up with this other guy you would be able to continue this double life, i hate to label it that way but thats the only thing i can think of to call it right off the top of my head, but i think you understand where im coming from. You need to set a game plan in your head on where you want to go in life if things with this other guy keep developing, what happens if this guy says ok ill chuck my marriage will you chuck yours? what if he talks about you guys meeting and making a full flaired affair? What if your husband finds out about whats going on how will you respond? How will your husband? Im not saying i know what you should do or what you need to do, but if i were you i would get a clear picture of what i wanted from your husband or from this other guy. Do you think there would be a possiblity you would be more happy in your marriage if your husband started to work with you on your problems with the marriage? Do you think there is any hope for you marriage now? Do you think your husband is doing the same thing you are on some sort of level? IF he was how do you feel about it? I think you need to ask yourself these kinds of questions and in deep deep detail figure out what you want to do, i dont think anyone in here can really answer those kinds of questions and give you any much more of a clear picture then you seriously thinking about this i wish you all of luck and i really hope you get something figured out on this *HUGS*
575971
it's just been two meetings. I'd suggest you take it slow, but meet him more often if possible & see how it goes.
993034
if he told you he wasn't ready for marriage then he was very mature to inform you of such. trying to apply pressure to him to make him do something never works. i would advise you both sit down if possible and talk things out
399663
if the now relation is doomed --walk away.\nbut don't expect miracles!!, like living happyly ever after with eric.\n..live real!!, be well..
528367
hmmm!. Ask yourself, has he mended his ways, or is he going to try a different approach to the same old games, those are the important question one ask when your trust been violated, now if he was just slow to giving you all he has to give to this relationship, as you have, then maybe, just maybe he will pick up the pace and be more serious about this go as you are, GOOD LUCK< girl you watch him anyway
302165
It doesn't sound like you are being taken for a fool. You are describing consistent and positive changes in your husband's behavior. What a blessing! It's so refreshing to see a couple get the help they need. If you're not ready to live together again yet, how about courting each other? Maybe you need a totally fresh start. Go on dates and get to know each other again. And go on family outings. Be up front with your kids that you and daddy love each other and are trying to work things out. I believe in time you will see that he truly has changed for the better. Give your marriage a chance. I think you're going to be very happy!\n\nGod Bless!
60528
Learn to be patient. If you are not married yet, I would suggest you to leave him. I know it is awful living with an inconsiderate man. But I honor marriage and think people should try their best to stay in their marriage in better or worse. So please learn to accept him the way he is. Anyway, it's your life and your decision. I won't respect you less if you decide to leave him. Wish you the best.
1138966
Girl you need to do whats right for you and your kids.If you feel like he's not taking you seriously then you have to figure out if its really a problem for you if so you need to let him know this is how you feel, and if he's still acting like he don't care then girl get up and do it.I know he's your husband but don't let nobody stop you from doing something you want to do.Sounds like he trying to keep you on lock..
524888
Sounds as if he has moved on in his mind and left you and the marriage behind. Sad that after 8 years. How you can improve your marriage is how you react to the sitution right now. Don't beg or bug him about anything. Give him some room and the old saying if you set someone free and they come back they are yours is very true............
87936
It sounds like he's feeding you a line.  Are you sure he's not just saying he wants to get back together?  It's been my experience that a little fighting once in a while is OK.  You don't want to fight all the time, but every now and then it's just fine, plus making up is great fun:)  If he's really that afraid of a little conflict maybe he's not the right guy for you.  Find yourself someone who's mature enough to know that a real relationship is not just a bed of roses.  There will be rough spots and bumps in the road, but as long as you take the journey together then you're fine.