how can LGBTs help themselves to deal with homophobia and come out of the closet?
339241
Accept that no one's opinion or feelings truly matter but your own. It is your life, no one else's. You must accept your feelings, it is who you truly are inside. If you fight your feelings, you fight your soul. Accept yourself and love everything you find about yourself. No one is bad, only misunderstood.
785297
Just come out of the closet.
214845
Don't do anything... He'll come out of the closet when he's ready to.  If you ask him it might offend him if he's not.
724012
Coming out is a continuous process.  Soon most of your friends acquaintances will know, then it's not an issue...  but every once in a while you'll be faceed with that weird situation where you have to come out again!  \n\nPeople somehow seem to know I'm gay...  they were telling me I was gay before I knew what gay was!!!  Not that I'm a flamer or anything!  Somehow it just comes through.  It makes it a little easier!\n\nMost people are cool.  You shouldn't run into too many problems!\n\nThe whole experience of being gay  I recently learned is for everyone to learn tolerance!  That's putting a spiritual spin on the whole situation!  If you look at it that way, it gives you a sense of purpose!\n\nGregory
872441
Talking it over with close friends.  Eventually, a person accepts his or her sexual orientation, self-identifies with others like that, and notes who (or what) he or she is to a close friend.  I think the fact that this one longterm friend had actually come out to me some months beforehand also helped. It's a safety issue, I think. It was like a weight being lifted from my shoulders when I came out to him and said, "this" is what am.  It also answered questions regarding stress throughout my life.
466622
there's no way to become straight just like no one can become gay.  It's just a matter of finding yourself and accepting yourself for who you are.  I know it can suck right now but trust me in the future you'll be okay with who you are.  if you're still young it probably sucks but it will get better.  Trust me.  Good luck!!
905111
Of course you are scared--you have every right to be especially when so much hatred is directed toward gays and lesbians in this society.  \n\nFirst, I suggest you visit the PFLAG site and see if you can go to some meetings at your local chapter (I'll provide the link below).  Next, before disclosing, be sure that you have social and economic support--it is, unfortunately, not unusual for some families to respond by kicking out the child from their home.  Third, make sure you choose a time that will not be interrupted and is private.  Talk to them frankly and honestly.  Lastly, this may or may not be a shock to them; however, they will need time to adjust to the news--you've been struggling with the issue for a while before disclosure, they will  need time to process the information.  I suggest that they get support from PFLAG, too, if they want it.\n\nAll the best to you.
186723
You are so right - a person's sexual orientation should not matter.\n\nAs for coming out of the closet - most of the time the gays are simply doing the same thing that straights do all the time: talking about thier family and/or loved ones. When we are talking about media stars - it seems the public has an interest in who is dating/marrying who, etc. Should they only ask those questions to straights? Should gays have to lie when asked these questions?\n\nStop and think about a typical Monday conversation - talking about what you did over the weekend and usually who you did it with. How it is somehow wrong for a gay man to say that he and his partner went out to dinner and a movie Saturday night but ok for a straight man to say he and his wife did? Do you want the gay man to lie and say he and his "roommate" went so that you will feel more comfortable?  \n\nIt's not like being gay is only about sex - like everyone else - sex is only about 10% of a person/relationship. I'd rather focus in on the other 90% of a person.  I just don't get what all the fuss is about - being gay is not contagious.
563104
Deal with it. \n\nAccept it, and say that you are not gay(unless you are...).\nTell him to accept you as a hetero.
890160
I knew from about the age of six.\nThere was a boy in my class at school that I always wanted to sit next to, but it never happened, and it was years later that I realised I had a 'crush' on him.\nI came out to my family when I was 18, but it didn't come as a surprise to them. I'd never shown any interest in girls (sexually), and they respected me for my honesty.\nI know it is not always easy to 'come out', and I would say that you should leave it for a few years in case it is just a 'phase' you are going through.\nMany men get sexual urges, and when you are going through puberty, your hormones are all over the place and experimentation (hand-jobs) is rife.\nIf you are certain you are gay, then tell a few close friends and if they show resistance, it is they who have a problem, not you.\nI hope you will not bow down to intollerance and ignorance, and find the courage to say who you are.\nI had one bad experience when I came out, and the man who didn't want to know me anymore now lives with his boyfriend in London!\nAll I can say to you is, you know the people around you, and you know yourself.\nIf you think they will be supportive, then be honest.\nFrankly, I'd be honest anyway and let them love you the way you are.
943923
You need to support your sister. She didnt ask to be gay. This is harder for her than it is for anybody else. I've had gay friends and sometimes they are so scared that their family and friends won't accept them. Your mother being on antidepressants for this has got to be killing your sister.
970024
I know a lot of people who are Gay and in the closet.  It truly is sad to think that society will not accept someone becuase of their sexual preference, or gender expression.\n\nBe supportive and understanding.
463455
Dude, its never easy and been where you've been. Lot of internal struggle huh? First, consider your age. You don't say but I assume a minor. If you are solely dependant on them for shelter, food, education and everything and you are unsure to what extent the risk factor is of them throwing you out, wait. Minimum wage will not support your housing, food and basic necessities. You'll be turned out to prostitution in no time. Unless they have a better than average idea that you are gay (parents know but can live in denial) ie ever have girlfriends, have "the accent", effeminate, etc. (would you just be saying the obvious) If that is not the case, and even if it is. Go to the library or if you have some money. Buy a couple of books in the GLBT section on coming out to parents, and parents who have been come out to. These will answer questions for them that you might not feel comfortable answering, and they might not want to ask. They usually say things like being gay is normal, homos are not perverts, the misconceptions you have about homosexuality are wrong, etc.\n\nSecond the act of coming out. People usually gauge their reaction on how you react or act. Do not do it on a holiday, or family event. This is kinda a personal thing that you might want to sit them down (take a breath you're a man who's doing something that's hard for men twice, three times your age) Try not to get emotional, and calm them if they do.-for crying, anger you can't do much about except stay calm. Have an honest conversation with them. Ask them questions to lead up to it. (have you ever wondered why I've never had a girlfriend? etc) If you're catholic, there's something to download called "always our children" I think. \n\nThe conversation is going to go where it's going to go. But if you remain calm. Hold your head up. Answer questions honestly yet non graphically. Soften the blow and make them feel as comfortable as you can (books, the right answers to their questions, etc) They'll probably have concerns over AIDS so relay that you use or plan on using condoms. (go buy some) Just be ready to dispell some stereotypes and misconceptions on homosexuality. Relay that you are their son, you love them and because of that you find it hard to lie to someone you love about who you are, and you feel that they have the right to know the person they love.\n\nGood Luck, wish you all the best in the world. \nKeep your friends close, you'll probably need their support.
1113431
First you have to be sure about yourself, once you have accepted the fact that you are gay and there is no way of changing the fact then you have to be strong, because over the years to come you will hear all sorts of jokes and comments that are cruel, but are based on ignorance. You have to understand, that you have had time to become used to the idea of being gay, and probably have for some time, but when you come out to your family, this will be the first time they have had it confirmed and it will take them time to get use to it. First level with them, just sit them down and level with them, don't do what most gay people have done in the past including myself and that is to try and hide it, because you can never get away from it. The next thing to do is to be the man that you are, being gay doesn't mean you have to be a pansy, you can still be the man you know you are and the man they thought you where going to be. Move out as soon as you can and avoid contact with them for a few months, this does two things. 1. it gives them time to discuss, fight, backstab and blame each other, without yuo having to hear it or feel guilty about it, because you didn't choose to be gay, you where born that way, and anyone who says other wise is a bloody idiot.\n2. This gives you time to explore your sexuallity without the fear of being caught with your pants down by your parents.\n16 is young, but at 16 I knew I was a raging queer, but it wasn't until I was thirty that I levelled with my family, during this time I explored straight relationships, gay one night stands, sauna's etc... But in the end I faced my fears and relized if I didn't level with my family, I would never have a chance of being happy with my own life and to me my life is the more important that the embarassment I caused my parents. For ten years I have lived in a gay relationship and now my family accept my partner as a part of the family, they now accept that they are not going to get grandchildren but now they have had the time to relize that I hadn't change, I was still the son they had 42 years ago, good luck kid, but careful there are some crazy mother----- out there, but be happy and have fun
168443
You are not as confused as you are scared.\n\nIt is not easy to admit alternative sexual preferences, and going out with someone of the same sex and being seen is admitting it.\n\nYou obviously have the feelings and are just not brave enough to stand up and let it all hang out, so to speak.\n\nIf you cannot find a way to take the bold steps on your own, you should seek advice, even professional counselling.\n\nRemaining as you are now is not good for you.\n\nWell, you have taken the first step and asked for help here, so I hope that you continue along this road and find a way to accept what you are and who you want to be.
385481
Oh, Sweetie, I wish I could help you more than just listening and typing. Unfortunately I'm probably far far away from you. My advice would be to try and contact your nearest college which should have a gay/lesbian group or at least a help centre, unless of course, that university is Christian based. Also you could check with your county's dept of human services and ask them if there are any support groups in your area. You don't have to if you don't want to but I would suggest that you get someone to talk to and stay away from the bars. It's going to be lonely for a little bit until you find a group. Just be careful.
284024
well, ive been on both sides of the 'closet' so to speak- and is ay this;\nwhen you are closeted, you feel shame ( any time you hide something about yourself, it breeds shame in your heart) and also- you get to lie about your family, loved ones, and friends. You get to know that ppl dont accept you,  andyou learn not to accept yourself.\nComing out means you may lose frineds ( i did) jobs, ( lost those too) and other things... but you get to look yourself in the eye and see that you are a strong person who is good, and loving, and know that even tho some may not like you, and some would rather do worse things... you get the innate knowledge that you are exactly as God made you, and you may be an example to others to live, love and laugh.