Does anyone know of a support group (on internet) for adult children of influential parents that pester them?
353548
Wow. My intial reaction to the main question was "{chuckle} If there is, let me know where to find one...."\n\nBut seriously, from what you're saying, this is not just a matter of a support group. You're talking about potentially criminal and/or tortious behavior and threats by them. You may want to think about speaking with an attorney to find out if you should take legal action.
682276
Here are some places to start:\n\nhttp://www.chaddmi.com/\nhttp://www.bridges4kids.org/PAC.html (scroll down to list of parent advocacy groups)\nhttp://www.bridges4kids.org/HelpForKids.html\nhttp://www.conductdisorders.com/\nhttp://www.wrightslaw.com/\nhttp://www.causeonline.org/\n\n\nFor someone who is ED, learning proper behavior is difficult. For the "normal" person, behavior reflects feelings, and is appropriate for the social context. However, B/ED people have feelings that do not match their environment, and/or their natural behavioral responses are not socially acceptable.  Therefore, their big challenge in learning is to build "unnatural" behavior patterns to meet society's expectations. The world will not change to fit them...they must change to fit the world. Life is not fair...and never has been.\n\nThe purpose of special education is to help children who are different, learn to function effectively in the mainstream society. If your child does not learn to control his own behavior by the time he is an adult, he WILL end up in prison (the prison population is full of people with ADHD, ED, etc.). \n\nYour son is not in special education to be coddled, "allowed to be himself," or enabled in his use of maladaptive behaviors. He is in special education so that he can be guided toward appropriate behaviors.\n\nThe question you should be raising is not "why are they appearing to attack my son?" but rather "Are they providing appropriate instruction in behavior skills so that HE can learn to control himself?" AND "Am I being trained, as a parent, in these techniques so that I can use them at home and provide him with stability across all environments?"  AND "What am I already doing at home to bring about changes in his behavior so that my baby boy won't spend a life behind bars?"
566807
Try dat lines, even dat it worked for me:\n\nI feel like cursing u 4 all d sleepless nights dat u have given me. u'll have a son who'll go mad behind my daughter, just like d way i am mad for u,.... \nBut then.....\nWhy trouble those innocent ones...\nCome lets make them brother and sister...:-)
321917
The Southern Poverty Law Center and Tolerance. org are great for that.  They always need all the help they can get, both adult and children's help.  They spread a great message as well.  See the following sites...\nhttp://www.splcenter.org/\nhttp://www.tolerance.org/
870030
Sorry I don't know any website for that.  Have you tried talking to your parents about what you need.  I'm sure that they will help you if you talk to them.  Every kids feels that here parents will be disappointed in something but being a mother myself I would always be there for my children no matter what.  I may be angry or a little disappointed but I am and will always be there.  Try your family.  They will help you.
119839
I just love this site. You have heard that before. \nThings are going well. The grandchildren, girl 3- two boys that will be 9 this month, came yesterday. It is a good thing people here love laughter; I would have been kicked out three years ago. The kids get along great. Never have seen children get along like these children. Never a dull moment.\nHow are you? Have you answered any great questions lately?  My cf was making me sleep off and on all night so I wasn't on at regular time.\nYes, I am depressed. Naw. This computer is dieing. Gonna give it to my best friend. Her husband can fight with it. The new one comes Thursday. \nOk, if you ever e-mail me - grannywinkie@yahoo.com, put yahoo answers on it. Somebody wanted may address to talk about something. Was it you? Will not open mail unless I know who it is from. \nHopefully, talk again\ngrannywinkie
1138914
I have a 7 yr old son and a 9 yr old daughter...an all they do is fight!  LOL!  It drives me absolutely crazy some, no, everyday !  I have asked the pediatrition and a councelor at school and they both gave me the same answer.  They will when they are more "grown-up" meaning mature.  They are trying to figure out their importantance in their own right.  Where they fit into life and they are actually learning from the process.  I know that it is painful and terribly disturbing, but they will grow out of it.  They are learning to deal with conflicts, try to let them work things out and intervene only when necessary.  I, myself, have a hard time stopping myself from telling them to "Quit it", but I am getting better.  Give them some space, explain to them that there are rules to arguing...no name calling, no loud voices, they should remain calm, and talk through the situation.  Compromise is the name of the game.  Give it a try, they are preparing themselves to be adults.  If we as parents teach them that we all must argue some times in our lives, but that there is a proper way and an inappropriate way to receive the results we want, the world just might yet become a better place.  Here are some articles I found:\n\nhttp://www.utexas.edu/student/cmhc/booklets/fighting/fighting.html#anchor104643\n\n\nhttp://members.aol.com/AngriesOut/fairfigh.htm\n\nhttp://www.bartongoldsmith.com/articles/fightfair.htm\n\nI only quickly read through each one, so I'm not sure how they differ.  I searched "fighting fair", if they don't help.  Good luck, and I hope that all works out well for you!!   :)
652225
I FEEL SO BAD! Where's the time for you? I didn't see anything for you at all. I didn't see any counseling for yourself. My fiancee has ADHD also and I know how that part of what you're going through. We're not married yet, but it's taken quite a bit to get his mom to finally accept our relationship but, your mothers treatment is UNACCEPTABLE! You ever watch the Nanny on tv? She says a childs behavior is UNACCEPTABLE quite a bit. She's not a child (which would be more Acceptable) she should be showing you more respect. You can only do what you can handle. You're first priority is to yourself and your immediate family. Meaning you, your children and your spouse. Your husband needs to stand up to the plate. (as my fiancee finally did) He needs to back you when it comes to his mother. His first priority is with you and your children. He also needs to be helping you with the children and around the house as much as possible. Even though he doesn't work, you two need to have a night out once-in-awhile by yourselves. Maybe, you can talk to your mother-in-law about a limit of times to help her and she in return watches the children for you night out. By this I mean EQUAL TIME. As far as the bills, reality isn't that your mother-in-law is going to pay the bills. First off, I don't see if you're living with your mother-in-law but, if you are that's going to be a majority of the problem. Which getting your own place would be greatly advised. There are places that can help with deposits and financial resources. In all, it makes me believe you are living with your mother-in-law and that's going to be a very hard and stressful situation. My advise is to move. Your husband may be ADHD (so is my fiancee) but, he still needs to know he is to be responsible. Write down what he needs to do and try to involve the children in all the chores. Watch "The Nanny." Or go online if you can't get that show in. She helps not only the children but, the relationship with the parents towards how to keep everything together. You're not a work horse and no one should treat you according. Good Luck!
185050
I know I have the same prob. It makes me feel so unwanted to the point that I cry all the time, but never in front of them.I even tried ignoring them for a couple days and it works (most of the time). Look what I do is not spend time with my parents AT ALL. This way they'll want to spend time with you more and they will want you to spend time with them more.
644084
2young2BeUsingIMunsupervised is probably a good one.\nShouldBeInBed \n\nCourtney,\n\nThere are too many people out there trying to take advantage of kids your age for you to be staying up late on the internet.  \n\nIf you are going to IM with your friends be very cautious about who else you chat with.  Talk with a guidance counselor, teacher or best of all your parents about the dangers online so you can be prepared.  \n\nI'll take off my parent hat now,\n\nMichael
1144463
all this drivel is pathetic! oh yes! pray that the knee biter is gonna turn around, put on a halo and bring you breakfast in bed! \nGET REAL LADY!\n\nKARATE SCHOOL!!!! are you nuts? pay somebody to teach the kid that doesn't like you, to kick your butt!! makes sense to me folks..... NOT!!!\n\nas a stepchild, i can tell you, watching my stepfather defer to my mother whenever i smarted off undermined him more than anything. you may be "just a step" but you have been placed by his father into a parenting roll by his own will.You accepted that roll by your own will! now, the honeymoon's over and there are responsibilities that come along with it. and right now, you're going through the trial by fire. welcome to it.\nthat kid is being a petty little tyrant, because he's getting away with it. if he hurts your feelings, he wins. boo hoo. he's nine and that's the name of the game. so far, he's winning.\ndon't step down from a nine year old, it gives him the authority. stand up to him, on his own level. if he calls you a name, you call him a better one.if he calls you a really good one, laugh! if he yells at you, you do it better. don't let him win! he's treating you the way nine year olds pick on the new kid in school. fight back! don't just stand there and take it!\ndidn't we all say "when i'm all grown up, i won't have to take anymore of this crap" well here you are taking it. \nyou can't intellectualize to a kid that has no basis for comparison to understand your adult angst emotional-babble. \nrevoke priveledges, pull rank\n\nmy favorite phrase "i'm mom, i win"\n\nYou're (step)mom, you can win too\nbut above all, show him you think he's silly about it all. have a sense of humor and maybe he'll realize how silly he is being too.
26231
There is a wonderful group at http://prisontalk.com\nYou'll find a great deal of information and support, including special poems and writings from mothers to their children...there's even a forum dedicated to the parents of inmates\nI've got a "someone special" locked up, too, and this group has helped me a great deal.\nGood luck.
1021850
http://www.familysupportline.org/help_victims/lifeskillsprogram.htm
727857
They should be there to show support.  Nice job on driving them to an early grave by being a screwup tho. Hope you are happy that your poor mother cries herself to sleep and dad has had about 10 years shaved off his life.
777906
Men, and I am one, frequently experience huge challenges in relating to their estranged offspring, and I am one of those too. I have scarcely any contact with my daughter, and none at all with my son, who are both "grown up". I believe that is ALL my responsibility. I take the view that, having been entirely inadequate as a father to them in their youth, I have no right to impinge myself on them as adults. I would love to be close to both, but don't deserve or expect that to happen. I would love for my daughter, particularly, to keep in touch, because we had reached a level of understanding. She hasn't contacted me for many months, and her mother tells me that's because she has been through some extremely difficult times during the last couple of years, when, incidentally, I have been away (she is now 30, and not at all immature).  But I would LOVE to hear from her - or from my son, whom I have had no contact with for 2 decades. I suppose that what I'm saying is that  I won't contact my kids unless they contact me first, because my, frank, neglect of them when they were younger disallows me that prerogative, but, I do wish they would contact me. It has to be that way round because I would be imposing myself on them otherwise. Write him. Leave a mesage with a friend, Tell him, ever so gently, because he's male, and therefore pretty hopeless at those sorts of things, and may be scared, that you would like to know him better. Maybe he really doesn't want to know, but you won't know that unless you do try, and you will surely kick yourself if you don't. I, with  the very greatest sincerity, and a tear in my eye I am not ashamed of, wish you the very best of best fortune in this matter.
774532
As a mother, I certainly think you're on the right track with all the efforts you've been making. Does she have a lot of adults in her life? It may sound strange, but kids expect their mothers to like and accept them, but an adult friend of the family or another adult role model may be able to give her praise and encouragement if she helps him/her with something (gardening, for instance). Once she realizes that not all "strangers" are going to criticize or bully her, she may begin to open up and have more confidence. Poor thing. I hope this is resolved soon. She's at a critical age where not only is she surrounded by peers who are judging her, but she is probably very hard on herself, as well. Good luck to you.
869925
contact you husbands command ombubsman they can get you to a support group if youre close to a milatary base . or even over the phone