how can you trust someone who has cheated on you  and now they realize there mistakes and want to marry me?
340645
Tough question, generally once a cheater always a cheater, but were talking about a relationship prior to marriage, it is unfortunate he cheated while with you, to disrespect you in that way says he was unsure that you are thee one for him, however, he is not only sorry for his actions now, but has realized he does want you as his bride.  We all make mistakes, however, marriage is not only a vow to you but to the Lord himself, assumming your having a Church bless your marriage and I would judge him by his faith in God..at least at this point of considering marrying him...I would make it very clear, betrayal during marriage is not just cheating on their spouse, but against your vows presented before the Lord himself...I only offer this advice if you truely love him, if you have any reason to further doubt his integrity...then do not take it to this next step...good luck
884575
he has a guilty conscience, dump him, forget him and move on to someone more deserving of you. Once a cheater always a cheater
1156925
Look im gonna be straight w/ u .... If u cheated on her apologize and go leave her alone. If you beg 4 forgivness u just mite get it, BUT she will NEVER trust u again. She may not say it she may cry ask why and take u back, but wait a few months things will slowly change she mite bite ur head off 4 something small, she may start calling u 20xs every two hrs. Follow u... its endless, but the worst part will b all this time u r thinking things r getting better, she is blowing up w/ resentment over the "mistake" i figured u called it and one day you will wake up and see a different person and you wont understand where all this hate/ mean/ bitchy snaps r coming from, cause u forgot about it and moved on, believe me she never did she just had time to get over the shock the heartbreak, the broken trust, and now she hates you for what u did but don't exactly know how to handle the situation. One day things will b fine the next she will just look at you eating and want to smash your face in. I am so not kidding on this, IF IT WASN"T CHEATING....Go with the whole truth a sincere apology, let her know you love her and only her, ask HER how she feels, listen to every word and tell her, if you mean it, u will do everything you can to make things right 4 her. Do not lie and just take responsibility for what you did, b4 some jackas* rats u out. If u feel shes the kinda girl that would want something, get her something she likes so she knows you really know her,  you listen and of course remember what she says. Good Luck
704876
some do and some don't , most of the time I feel they do, but I have seen people that haven't cheated on their wives ever again, or else they got real good at sneaking around, I guess in time if you stay with him you will find out if he has or hasn't, its going to take alot of time for you to totally trust him again, Good luck to you
427321
Well I think you did the right think by breaking up with him. That takes a lot of courage. But now you need to stay strong and stick to that. He cheated on you and yea, he probably says he changed and won't do it ever again, but the truth is, you won't really be able to trust him again. You will always wonder in the back of your mind if he is cheating or if he will cheat again.\nIn the long run, you will just end up miserable. So yea, he wants you back, but too bad. His loss and he should have thought about that before cheating on you. \nDon't give in...Be strong.
135792
Cheaters do not deserve another chance.  Leave him for someone you can trust.\n\n"He's a very good guy,"?  Wrong.  Good guys don't cheat, honey.
1102762
Trust is paramount in any relationship in order for it to have a chance.  Trust takes time to acquire in any relationship, but here it is an issue right off the bat.  I always fine that it's best to give someone the benefit of the doubt. You really can't change people, they've got to change themselves. Now that doesn't mean that you can't support them along their road to a better them, or that you can't offer advice or set out ground rules.\nWe all have our pasts, and have done things we're not proud of. \n\nIf you're going to embark on forging a relationship with this guy, i would tread lightly and carefully.  As far as the cheating goes, i know the general perception is, once a cheater, always a cheater.  However, i think it's possible for people to turn over a new leaf.  Many guys through a period where they are a bit of a "slag". This is not to excuse your current love interest's actions, but it's usually the way of things.  It's kind of more widly accepted in society for men to play the field a lot more than women.  The fact that he's cheated on ALL his girlfriends would definitely give me pause, but we all have to grow up sometime.  I would also take into consideration who gave you the information on his less than monogomous ways. If he told you, i think that says something about him. If he was open and honest enough to share with you his less than stellar relationship habits in the past, then that shows that he might truly be wanting to change his ways. If, on the other hand, you had to find this out through a mutual friend, or past girl-friends, well, that's not good at all. \n\nAlso, you mentioned that he treated a close friend of yours badly.  If we're talking verbal, emotional, or physical abuse here, then stay away. Stay far far away.   \n\nI think perhaps you need to sit him down and lay some ground rules.  If you care about him enough to give this a go, despite his bad rep, you need to clearly voice your worries and apprehensions when it comes to him.  Let him know that you respect yourself far too much to put up with cheating or abuse in any form.  He needs to understand that your trust is going to take time to earn, and if he really cares about you, he will work hard to get it.  The right person can change your life, make you a better person, you just might be his inspiration for change.\n\nBest of luck!
1136887
Trust is not a set in concrete thing. Just because someone is having trouble trusting you can come from many factors, including being hurt very badly in the past. Although it would not be your fault, you must still understand that trust doesn't come as easy for this person as maybe it might to another. What your decision must be is to decide how much you want to prove to him you can be trusted and how long you will do that patiently. If some of his friends are lying on you, it is his friends that are so the problem, and after explaining all to him and he can't see that, maybe he is not mature enough to handle a relationship. Men are more like little boys when they have to use their peeps to analyze their love life.
718542
If there's no trust in the relationship- then you need to examine why you're in the relationship.  It doesn't matter what you do, follow him, check up on him, call him a dozen times to make sure he's where he says he is- If he really wants to cheat, he's going to, and all you're going to do is drive yourself crazy, and drive him away.  Either take a deep breath, and decide you're going to trust him- and then DO IT; or get out of the relationship now.  If you don't have trust- you don't have anything anyway- why sit around and wait for the relationship to get worse by driving each other crazy over what you THINK he MIGHT be doing?  Take a good look at things and decide if you're REALLY getting what you want out of this relationship.  Good luck.
688726
Once a cheater always one, believe that for alot of reasons.  Biggest one is they feel it's ok to do it, or they wouldn't have done it.  second is that the trust is gone, and it will affect the relationship, and therefore, giving them more reason to go out and find someone else.
176606
You and her are a totally different relationship from any relationship she has had in the past.  You honestly have no reason to not trust her until she cheats on you.  People grow up and people change.  If you judge someone by their prior relationships then you aren't being fair to them and giving your relationship an honest chance.  Stop worrying about this or you will create a problem that doesn't yet exist.  Life is too short to waste worrying about something that might happen.
684934
I understand completely my husband and I have a very similiar situation. And I too do not trust him and he does not trust me. I think to make things work you have to learn to let go of the past mistakes and learn to forgive even though that maybe in order to go on together you must try to trust. But if he continues to betray you then you need to do what is best for you and your child.
732407
Hi, I think the only way to really know is to look into your heart and go with what you are feeling.  If you cant trust your partner then maybe you shouldnt be with that person.  I know its hard, but until they give you a reason NOT to trust them, try to trust their word.  Its miserable when you dont trust your partner, so just believe they have been faithful until you find out differently.  You might find that they have been faithful all along.  Good luck to ya, Debi
475858
Yes You can get anyone to trust you just make him trust you by being repectful, and loveing show him you would never hert him.
985819
say NO. Once a cheat, ALWAYS a cheat. If he cheated then, how do you know he wont cheat now? If he lied then, how do you know he wont lie now? If you DO go back out with him you'll have to walk on eggshells the whole time because you'll be wondering in the back of your head "was he really where he told me he was, with the people he told me he was with, or was he somewhere else with somewhere else" Which saying those thigns to him or asking him alot will just lead to fights. A relationship is nothing without trust and it takes a long time to re-build trust after someone cheated/lied to you. Find someone out there who WONT do that to you, this guy sounds like a loser, and there are millions of guys out there that arent losers, so go find one! good luck!
592243
Since you denied it for so long, you've established a pattern of lying on top of the cheating.  So, it probably won't matter how you tell him; he may feel too angry and used to give you another chance.\n\nJust try to communicate how foolish you were and how much you regret it and that you understand how this must make him feel.  Explain that you realize that he may not want to give you another chance, but you care about him too much to continue the deception.\n\nAnd BEG, BEG, BEG for his forgiveness.\n\nI sense that you truly realize and regret the mistake you made.  I'm sorry that it may cost you a relationship that you came to value a little too late.  Hopefully, you won't make either of those mistakes again (cheating, lying about it.)\n\nGood luck.
1165029
Just go to him and tell him truth that you have broked his/her faith, You have done mistake and you not gonna do that again and also tell that u dun need their anwer as u just wanted him/her to excuse you. Be prompt. ur frnds gonna trust u again. I can't say the period but they will for sure gonna trust u again. But Just please dun break it again or try it.