do you think that you should have more compassion for family?
341777
What could she get if she were renting to someone else?  Business is business.  Most people have rental properties to make money.  A lease would protect you as well.  Perhaps someone has offered to pay her $1,900/month and sign a lease and she is offering you the deal first.  Sorry if this sounds harsh, but you are not a guest in your mother's home, you are a tenant.
1122157
No, it's not wrong to be selfish, as long as you are aware of and sensitive to the needs of others.  You don't need to serve all the needs others have, but you need to be able to say, "I see that this is an issue for you" and work out compromises when they are called for.\n\nIn this case, I think it may be your sister who is acting selfishly.  SHE married a soldier.  SHE had two kids.  SHE moved away from her mom and support network.  These things were not your doing, they were her choices.  Now she needs to live with them, for better or worse.  \n\nYou have gone beyond the call of duty, in my opinion, by giving her your services for as long as you have.  (I assume she's not paying you to babysit?)  If you think that you'll continue to be responsible for the majority of the child's care while you are at home with your mother,  you probably need to tell her, "I've given you all I can give you WITHOUT feeling taken advantage of, but if I offer you more than this I WILL feel resentful about it.  I don't want to resent you, so I think it's best that I leave YOUR child in YOUR care now."  Something like that anyway.\n\nFrom here it sounds like she's feeling burdened (understandably so) and wants you (and your mum) to shoulder some of her load.  That's fine if you both WANT TO.  If you don't, she really needs to understand that your life is your own, no matter how heavy her load gets.  \nAnd so do you.  \n\nYour life is yours.  Enjoy it!!
195197
People have become depersonalized in a modern world.There is a lack of accountability. We no longer live in small communities that we have to have good relations to survive. If 150 years ago you were rude to the people you interact with, you may not get your harvest sold at a decent price, or the neighbors to help till you fields should you fall sick. These days many are estranged from family.Extended family has always served as a system  of support as well as discipline. Aunts,Uncles and grandparents would step in as surrogate parents should they see even a distant relation misbehaving.People are also weary, I think , and in the hurried pace of life, do not see what being kind will DO for them.Unfortunately, thinking of yourself first has been promoted for years now and rudeness is a side effect.IMO, If everyone calmly and non judgementally said ," You may not realize it, but you were just unnecessarily rude" people may reflect and change their own behavior. Then again, you may get the finger!
316218
Yes, a little bit.  I can usually tell if someone in my family is hurt, and I have on occasion seen ghosts.  (No, I'm not crazy)  My mom has a stronger sense.  I think it could be genetic.
707635
Dude i couldnt agree with you more.  No offence but for their own good put them in a looney bin and do it fast.  Thisnk about all the things peopl will say about you and your family when they see them.  Is that in itself worth it?
961530
everyone should strive to be more empathic , more in touch with others and how they feel\nonly in knowing this , can you really understand yourself and the world around you
797385
cause others arent as compassionate
1016353
i want more time with my family.
13815
Be thankful someone in the family had the respect to raise you and keep you close.
827848
I think you should do what you were planning to do. Get them involved in helping others. Hopefully they'll feel good after giving that they'll want to do it more often and be grateful for what they have.
83139
That is an interesting view of things.  I have always had an inclination the exact opposite direction, that is, to help my family first, then my town, then state, country, the world.  I'm not saying this is right and the way you are talking about is wrong.  I guess it's just that when I have some money to donate, and I look around, and right there is my own family member who is barely getting by, then how can I let him starve while feeding a stranger?\n\nBut what you are saying is a good philosophy.  For if I were to help the country, then perhaps there would be this "trickle-down" effect to my own family member.  I think there may be something to that.  I just wish I was a billionaire and could help everyone!
897655
I think you should invite all family and if there not adult enough to let things go foe a nice fam event tell them not too come , they may not even come , but the invite in a nice thing and either way might make it easier to see you nephew, forgiveness is one of the hardest to do but it is one of the best , remember good comes form good how can it be bad , good on you for thinking this and being the bigger person , good luck
874283
I would compltety agree with you on this. In our quest to have it all, the best job, our children in the best schools, our children in the best clothes, we should belong to the right organizations and groups. Our values have become so much of what others think and see us as, the sucessful and rich one. Well, in the long run our children really only want our love, attention, time and nuturing. And this is what is leading to the children being deliquent, having anger issues. And the parents are absent but giving of material things, working themsevles to death to have the house in the suburbs, with the car in the driveway. And who is enjoying these things they are working so hard to have. The children alone with their friends, left to their own devices, while the wife is having affairs beacuse her husband is to busy working for the almighty dollar giving himself a heart attack to  give her everything. When all they really need are the basics in life to live, alot of love and time together. Life is to short and when you die, i guess everyone will remember you had the best of everything and died trying to get it, and your children resent you becasue they dont even know who you are. Yes it is nice to have very nice things, however, should we kill ourselves in the process, I think not. What is important in my life is the quality of time I spend with my children and the values I instill in them. Be happy and content where you are, I would rather be poor in monatary wealth and rich in love and spirt of family. Howver, most are consumed with what everyone else has, but those who really count (family) are thinking of us. And we are killing ourselves trying to live up to others expectations and desires of what they think we should be. What is the competition all about. Why do we need to impress the neighbors? Who cares, God has given you the life you are to have be blessed, comfortable and confident in where you are. Then he willl increase it when he sees you have learned to be comfortable where you are. And we should feel very blessed those who have family and children this is one of the greatest blessings in the world. We need to slow down and feel the blessing. Thanks for the question. God bless
196027
You have to choose if your obtaining your happiness at the expense of upsetting your family is worth it.  It is a personal decision and there is no right or wrong answer.  Sooner or later you will have to stand up for what you want in your life and not everyone will agree with your choices.  It is just a question of if now is that time for you?
204605
I would say no.  Some people just take advantage of those kind enough to help them out.  You have to know when to say enough is enough.  Asking them to help out after you've helped them out is the right thing to do.
53121
I was always told growing up that your family are the people who know you and all your bad habits and love you anyway. Now that I am raising my step children and a foster child PLUS my own kids, I realize how true that statement is. Family are the people you turn to when you need someone to tell off because you have had a bad day and they will still speak to you when you have calmed down. And in some cases that person might not be blood related to you but it doesn't make them any less a member of your "family"
813462
It does make you feel better but ideally you are giving someone who is struggling a hand up.  Sometimes someone just needs a break - a little help (due to all sorts of reasons).  Could you imagine not having money to eat (or not being able to feed your child)?  Not being able to stay warm?  I haven't had to struggle with these things myself and I'm grateful. Treating someone with compassion is always a good thing.