What would you do if you learned that your husband of 10 yrs. is into being an "adult baby"?
349604
It sounds like he really loves you if he'll give up his things for you.  It comes down to you.  Can you live with his extra baggage?\n\nI really doubt that he can completely drop it cold turkey.  It's like any other habit.  You can try and forget about it, but it'll nag him over the years.  You'll always be worried that he's doing it behind your back even if he's not.\n\nIf you don't think you can ever learn to live with it, then it might be best to at least try and continue the counseling to see if you can work things out.  But it'll be tough.  From the wording of your question ("I feel like I didn't know the person I married"), it sounds like it's probably not going to work out.  But at least give it a shot or else you'll regret not having tried.
916905
Not have his baby.  You aren't even old enough for a job yet.  How are you supposed to raise a child?
517908
He will not change.  He will not save you.  He will keep treating you like dirt.  You have a baby to worry about.  You can't depend on him.  Obviously.  He can get mad as much as he wants.  You need to start thinking about how to take responsibility for the baby.  Stop worrying about him.
197489
Ooooo. Sounds like a familiar situation...\n\nFirst- This shouldn't be about right or wrong. That just makes people defensive and nothing comes out of it. \n\n\nYou do a lot and he needs to recognize that. \nHe needs to pitch in more and at least not depend on you to cook all the time. \n\nMy wife and I just had our first baby. We are both exhausted because we take shifts to feed the baby. Sometimes I have more energy and I cook or do some cleaning or vice versa. But marriage and kids is all about team work. You guys are in this together. \n\n\nPerhaps you need to approach this in a way that doesn't make him defensive. (if that is possible.) You want to make him see your point of view without him feeling like he needs to justify his actions. \n\nOwn your feelings. Tell him that you are too tired to cook, or say you need his help with something specific because you are worn out. Mention the part about being a team. \n\nBut make sure you let him know you do appreciate him to. Guys need that and we like to be able to help and feel needed. Using those words might get more action out of your hubby.\n\nEffective communication will help you through.
488460
At first I was going to answer that you can never convince him, but then I remembered I was the same exact way.  We waited and waited for the right time.  Guess what, the right time never comes.  There is always an excuse.  If it was clearly a stated goal of the marriage, it is time to stop waiting and get on with it.  Put your foot down.  Now, here are a few things to convince him.  \n\n1)  It took us over a year for my wife to get prego.  \n\n2)  Once you have the kid your life stops as you know it.  It takes years and years before you can start living as adults again.  The longer you wait to have kids, the older you are when you can start having fun again.  People without kids never realize this.  You have years of diapers, puke, illness, and finding a sitter.  If we had started earlier, we'd be almost free by now.  Draw him a time line, does he want to be 40 and free from kids or 50?
574189
He may be feeling like these are his last days of "freedom" and the ability to come and go as he pleases.  You can't make him stay home with you, he'll only wind up resenting the situation.  All you can do is tell him honestly what your needs are and that even though the baby has not arrived yet, his presence with you helps you feel secure and less anxious of the future.  A guys night out even once a week or so is not bad.  But if he's out all of the time, you need to find out why he is reluctant to spend this quality time together.  Also, can you compromise by the two of you going out together sometimes?\n\neditted to add:\nAnd dear lord, do not let people tell you that pregnant women can not be sexy or that you are used goods.  You have a precious life growing inside and any real man would recognize that for the miracle that it is.  A less confident man may not.  Also, I got pg out of wedlock.  I am now happily (usually, lol) married with 2 beautiful children and even if the future would change with my husband, I would never ever regret the experience because I have the 2 greatest joys of my heart sleeping upstairs from me.
250691
I would stay clear of him for a looong time.  Clearly, he has some growing up to do.  You are WAY too young to be involved with someone like that.  And if he's not stepping up and being a man by supporting his baby, don't think twice that he wouldn't do the same to YOU.
100735
I belive that if the man is mature enough he will be more than thrilled to find out that you are having a child and want to join in on the bonding experience of rearing a chld.\nUnless you did this behind his back with another partner...
798553
Your hubby needs a hobby.
1029788
I agree with incan princess ...\n\nThe problem is really YOU !!\n\nFirstly ..you go snopping around his things . you have no respect for other peoples privacy... dont you have a job or something to do instead??\n\nWere you thinking that you where helping a realtionship by doing so ??\n\nNext ,you put out this question up on Yahoo answers and lable it for ladies only.\n\nI am married too .. do you know that i too know many things. My wife is beside me write now ..\n\nwe both agree that you need to change your attitude towards things and your relationship. Show some respect towards your husband. Its probably your behavior that lead him to do what he is doing ... in the first place !!\n\nAnd yes .. for gods sakes .. dont bring a baby into this world  - then go for a divorce. Poor child ...\n\nDisappointed with you !
397999
Look if there is anything That I have learned in this life it is that you always go with your gut feeling it is a six sence that all women have and if it is telling you that something is not right, then something is not right. now I will not tell what to do with your life but my opinon is that you take your baby into consideration okay,ask your self a few questions \n1.Do I really want to raise my baby in a houehold with a man that i cant trust and baisicly teach my baby that this type of crap is normal? and this can screw this kid up later in life when it comes to relationships if you have a boy(all staying will do for him is show him that it is okay to treat women like that and lady you know thats not right!\nand if you have a girl then all you will be showing her is that it is okay to let men treat her like door mat and walk all over her because she is going to look up to you and see that you are baisicly doing just that letting your husband use you like a door matt! and do you reallly think staying is the right thing to do?\n\n           Now no matter what that man tells you, he can not take your baby from you if you leave him if you do things to improve the well being of your child,find a you aplace to go when you are ready to leave him such as a friend or a close family member,then go to to your local department of ecinomic security office and you apply for help foodstamps, welfare,and they will set you up in some kind of work program and or if you want to go to school they will help set you up for grants and all kinds of stuff to help better you self  okay hell they will evenhelp you find houing and provide child care free .If that man trys to take your ass to court and tells a judge that he wants full custody you can then inreturn show the judge all that you have done in order to provide a safe living enviorment for the child they will see all you have done,they will not give the man who broke his vows and committed adultry.he is only saying what he can to make sure you stay and will say just about anything to intimidate you dont beleave everything he says just look in you phone book and search the web when he is not at home. \n   as for that friend of yours that hooked you up with him and is flirting with him and what not you tell that little home wrecker that she can have that the two are ment for each other.and drop her from your life cause with friends like that who the hell needs enemys!
1009815
let him do what he wants.  he's an adult.  (I assume)
398973
Buy a house.\nMy wife's hobby is doing things around the house she can do and making lists of things we need to take care of she isn't capable of alone. Mine is executing those jobs on the list only I can do. In our free time we tackle jobs from the list we both are capable of. We also spend a lot of time in the bedroom. Actually, now that the kids are grown and gone, ANY room we feel like...\n\nBut then, we might be considered wierd. After 30 years of marrige we still find each other incredibly sexy. We like spending time together and have our "causes" we support. Both of us are passionate about children's rights. We have been foster parents for 17 years and are on about every child care panel in existence.  We also teach parenting and alternative discipline classes together for our state's Dept. of H&W and I am on various boards and am the governor's appointment to our state's Children's Trust Board from our district.\n\nAnd, oh yes. In my spare time I also am writing my second book. And am public relations director for my Shrine Center. (you know, we support the free hospitals for kids)\n\nAnd when we're home, in the evenings we sit out on our deck in the spa and sip wine or tea or maybe hot chocolate with cinnamon schnapps. Yes, naked...
1146049
You're joking, right? You are definitely not asking too much for your man to spend the little free time you both have without the kids together. Are you set on going out or could you perhaps "ramp" him into spending time together starting with an intimate evening at home? Next time you can remind him you two stayed in for him last time so it's his turn to accommodate your wishes.
56368
If this guy hasn't cam around in over two years he has no interest - best to work on what you can do for yourself and the baby.  You would have better odds finding someone new and better for your family life.
7787
I will take the assumption that you don't want your boyfriend to know because he might talk you into an abortion by yelling, hitting, or intimidating you.   He probably has already told in in certain terms that a baby would ruin his life; or you've assumed this.  Are you younger than the typicall mommy?  If so, You can't do this alone, find an adult you trust.\n\nI wish you strenght to get through this.  You need to find value in yourself.  If any of my above assumptions are true, then you need to learn to love yourself.  Take the love you were giving your boyfriend and turn it to yourself. How can your baby come into the world without a self-loving mother.  Once you've found self-love, then you should have the courage to tell this man that you've had his baby (I'm guessing it'll take you longer than 9 months to find your fullest strenght).  Only after you're strong tell this boy/man.  Make sure you have support like a friend, family member, councelor (priest, pschologist, or even planned parent hood) to be there for you when you tell him.   \n\nI disagree with those here who say you should tell them right away.  I've done that, only to realize that my men never loved me, and my self worth went down.  I regrete not finding my own strenght before I told my partner about my situation.  It sucks realizing love never existed where I thought it did, but was a life lesson that I've experienced.\n\nIf this man is your husband, YOU MUST TELL him.  After all, you both made a commitment.\n\nIf you're just a baby having a baby,  again, find that trusting adult to guide you through this journey.\n\nAbove all respect yourself, I know in your heart you want things to be ok, and in time they will be.\n\nRespect Life.
215250
You both still young, maybe take a abortion. Taking care a baby is not easy and huge responsible. If you both haven't confident to raise the BB up. Then don't bring to earth for suffering.