Anyone hav eany good blonde jokes??
341228
The Top 10 Dumb Blonde Inventions (11-18, I made Up and Found On Internet):\n \n1) Waterproof Towel\n2) Solar-Powered Flashlight\n3) Submarine Screen Door\n4) A Book On How To Read\n5) Inflatable Dart Board\n6) Dictionary Index\n7) Helicopter Ejector Seat\n8) Powdered Water\n9) Designer Camouflage\n10) Waterproof Tea ag\n11) Wireless Dog Leash\n12) Silent Car Alarm\n13) Glass Hammer\n14) Brick Window\n15) See-Through Swimsuit\n16) Pet Rock\n17) Wooden Soap\n18) Pedal-Powered Wheel Chair\n \nMore Jokes:\n \nQ: How do blonde brain cells die ? \nA: Alone. \n\n\nQ: How do you change a blonde's mind? \nA: Blow in her ear. \n\nQ: How do you measure a blonde's intelligence? \nA: Stick a tire pressure gauge in her ear! \n\nQ: How do you keep a blonde busy all day? \nA: Put her in a round room and tell her to sit in the corner. \n\nQ: How did the blonde die ice fishing? \nA: She was run over by the zamboni machine. \n\nQ: How do you get a blonde to marry you? \nA: Tell her she's pregnant. \n\nQ: How does a blond spell farm? \nA: E-I-E-I-O \n\nQ: How does a blond kill a fish? \nA: She drowns it. \n\nQ: A blond going to London on a plane, how can you steal her window seat? \nA: Tell her the seats that are going to London are all in the middle row. \n\nQ: What do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you? \nA: Run....she's got a hand grenade in her mouth. \n\nQ: What do you call a blonde golfer with an iq of 125? \nA: a foursome. \n\nQ: What do you call a blond mother-in-law? \nA: An air bag. \n\nQ: How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday? \nA: Tell her a joke on Wednesday. \n\nQ: What is the blonde doing when she holds her hands tightly over her ears? \nA: Trying to hold on to a thought. \n\nQ: Why did the blonde stare at frozen orange juice can for 2 hours? \nA: Because it said 'concentrate'. \n\nQ: Why did the blonde take two hits of acid? \nA: She wanted to go on a round trip. \n\nQ: Why did the blonde snort Nutra-Sweet? \nA: She thought it was diet coke. \n\nQ: Why did the blonde bake a chicken for 3 and a half days? \nA: It said cook it for half an hour per pound, and she weighed 125. \n\nQ: Why did the blonde put her finger over the nail when she was hammering? \nA: The noise gave her a headache. \n\nQ: Why did the blonde have blisters on her lips? \nA: From trying to blow out lightbulbs. \n\nQ: Why did the blonde climb up to the roof of the bar? \nA: She heard that the drinks were on the house. \n\nQ: Why don't blondes have elevator jobs? \nA: They don't know the route. \n\nQ: Why do blondes work seven days a week? \nA: So you don't have to retrain them on Monday. \n\nQ: What is the difference between a dead blonde in the road, and a dead skunk in the road? \nA: There are skid marks in front of the skunk. \n\nQ: What is the difference between Elvis and smart blondes? \nA: Elvis has been sighted. \n\nQ: What is the difference between blondes and traffic signs? \nA: Some traffic signs say stop. \n\nQ: What's the difference between a blonde and a shopping cart? \nA: The shopping cart has a mind of its own. \n\nQ: What did the blonde do when she noticed that someone had already written on the overhead transparency? \nA: She turned it over and used the other side. \n\nQ: What did the really dumb blond say when someone blew in her bra? \nA: Thanks for the refill. \n\nQ: How does a blonde commit suicide? \nA: She gathers her clothes into a pile and jumps off. \n\nQ: How do you plant dope? \nA: Bury a blonde. \n\nQ: How do you get a one-armed blonde out of a tree? \nA: Wave to her. \n\nQ: How does a blonde measure his/her IQ? \nA: With a tire gauge! \n\nQ: How do you make a blonde's eyes light up? \nA: Shine a flashlight in their ear. \n\nQ: How do you kill a blonde? \nA: Put spikes in their shoulder pads. \n\nQ: How do blondes pierce their ears? \nA: They put tacks in their shoulder pads. \n\nQ: How do you drown a blond? \nA: Leave a scratch and sniff at the bottom of the pool. \n\nQ: How doe
741676
A blonde went into a world wide message center to send a message to her mother overseas. When the man told her it would cost $300, she exclaimed: "But I don't have any money. But I'd do ANYTHING to get a message to my mother."\n\nThe man arched an eyebrow (as we would expect). "Anything?" he asked.\n\n"Yes, yes, anything," the blonde promised.\n"Well then, just follow me," said the man as he walked towards the next room. The blonde did as she was told and followed the man. "Come in and close the door," the man said. She did. He then said, "Now get on your knees." She did. "Now take down my zipper." She did. "Now go ahead ... take it out ..."he said. She reached in and grabbed it with both hands ... then paused. The man closed his eyes and whispered, "Well... go ahead."\n\nThe blonde slowly brought her mouth closer to it and while holding it close to her lips, tentatively said..........."Hello, mom can you hear me?"
614053
By far, best blonde joke I think I've ever heard.  (Tt is long, and I have used it before on Y!Answers.)\n\nCertain words have been changed to protect the censors.\n\nOkay so it's Dec. 24th and a postman is starting his walking route.  He comes to the the first house and opens the mailbox and there is a envelope inside that says "mailman" on it.  He opens it, it's a $10 bill with a note that says have a nice Christmas.  He proceeds to the next house and there is a card that says "mailman" which he opens to reveal $20.  He thinks to himself, "Wow, this is going to be a good day!"  He comes to the third house and there is a note: Mailman, knock on the door for your Christmas present.  He knocks and the door swings open to reveal a beautiful naked blonde woman.  She grabs him, pulls him inside and well... anyway, the censors are watching, but you get the Idea.\n\nAs he is putting his clothes back on the blonde woman disappears for a minute into the kitchen and brings back a tray with a huge breakfast on it.  Biscuits, gray, bacon, eggs, the works.  He's like WOW, thanks and proceeds to eat it.  \n\nHe glances at his watch and says, thank you, but I have to get going.  As he is moving to the door the blonde hands him a dollar and says Merry Christmas.  He's looks at the dollar and then at her and says no thanks, 'maam, you've done enough!  She says, oh no, you have to take it, it's my husbands idea.  The mailman pauses, "You husbands Idea?"  "Yeah," she says, "Last night I asked him if I should do anything for the mailman for Christmas and he said, 'screw him, give him a dollar,' breakfast was MY IDEA!"
452212
What has the world come to? People don't seem to make good clean jokes any more (keyword: good)! Sheesh...\n\nHere's one:\n\nA pregnant woman gets into a car accident and falls into a deep coma. Asleep for nearly 6 months, she wakes up and sees that she is no longer pregnant. Frantically, she asks the doctor about her baby. \n\nThe doctor replies, "Ma'am, you had twins! A boy and a girl. The babies are fine. Your brother came in and named them." \n\nThe woman thinks to herself, "Oh no, not my brother -- he's an idiot!" \n\nExpecting the worst, she asks the doctor, "Well, what's the girl's name?" \n\n"Denise," the doctor says. \n\nThe new mother thinks, "Wow, that's not a bad name! Guess I was wrong about my brother. I like Denise!" \n\nThen she asks the doctor, "What's the boy's name?" \n\nThe doctor replies, "DeNephew" \n\n:o)
107870
Yes, someone knows one or more funny jokes.  http://answers.yahoo.com/dir/;_ylt=ArnzjuRlqSbxSa5yiGyF8SL4y6IX?link=list&sid=396546041
108947
I have two: I love the second one.\nJoke #1\nA blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender, "Wanna hear a blonde joke?"\n\nIn a hushed voice, the guy next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, you should know something."\n\nOur bartender IS blonde, the bouncer is blonde. I'm a 6' tall, 200 lb black belt. The guy sitting next to me is 6'2", weighs 225, and he's a rugby player. The fella to your right is 6'5" pushing 300 and he's a wrestler. Each one of US is blonde. Think about it, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?"\n\nThe blind guy says, "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."\n-----------\n Joke #2\nTwo women are new arrivals at the pearly gates and are\n comparing stories on how they died.\n\n 1st woman: I froze to death.\n\n 2nd woman: How horrible!\n\n 1st woman: It wasn't so bad. After I quit shaking from the\n cold, I began to get warm and sleepy, and finally died a\n peaceful death. What about you?\n\n 2nd woman: I died of a massive heart attack. I suspected\n that my husband was cheating, so I came home early to\n catch him in the act. But instead, I found him all by\n himself in the den watching TV.\n\n 1st woman: So what happened?\n\n 2nd woman: I was so sure there was another woman there\n somewhere that I started running all over the house\n looking. I ran up into the attic and searched, and down\n into the basement. Then I went through every closet and\n checked under all the beds. I kept this up until I had\n looked everywhere, and finally I became so exhausted that\n I just keeled over with a heart attack and died!\n\n 1st woman: Too bad you didn't look in the freezer. We'd\n both still be alive.
1015843
Strange but Quite Hilarious!!! Good Joke!!! Rating-9/10!!! Continue posting some other jokes!!!
370888
good joke!!!!!!!!!!! but I like it.
880946
I agree with you 100% -- I am a blonde who loves blonde jokes.... those that are offended just need to move on to a different section...
1043700
hehehe...i like your jokes, they are giving me a good laugh for today!
847345
awesome joke man....\nheres one 4 ya....\nbe an individual...just like everyone else
889780
Hey!!!!NICE!!!\nI really like it, it’s a good one and its also unique, ive never heard such a gr8 joke before!!!!!\nI give it a 10/10 cuz it deserves it.\nI hope you keep sending more jokes like these!!!!
257903
My favorite dumb blonde joke:\n\nDumb blonde on a 4 engine plane hears the captian say "folks we have one engine out, there is going to be a 1 hour delay"...a few moments later he comes across again "engine 2 is out, that's going to be another hour delay"...they fly on for a couple more hours again the captian comes across "engine 3 is out, 1 more hour delay"...the dumb blonde jumps up and says "Damn, hope engine 4 doesn't go out, if it does, we're gonna be up here allllll day"
289000
Here are some that I love :\nA blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender, "Wanna hear a blonde joke?"\n\nIn a hushed voice, the guy next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, you should know something."\n\nOur bartender IS blonde, the bouncer is blonde. I'm a 6' tall, 200 lb black belt. The guy sitting next to me is 6'2", weighs 225, and he's a rugby player. The fella to your right is 6'5" pushing 300 and he's a wrestler. Each one of US is blonde. Think about it, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?"\n\nThe blind guy says, "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."\n------------\nblonde goes into a nearby store and asks a clerk if she can buy the TV in the corner.\n\nThe clerk looks at her and says that he doesn't serve blondes, so she goes back home and dyes her hair black.\n\nThe next day she returns to the store and asks the same thing, and again, the clerk said he doesn't serve blondes.\n\nFrustrated, the blonde goes home and dyes her hair yet again, to a shade of red.\n\nSure that a clerk would sell her the TV this time, she returns and asks a different clerk this time.\n\nTo her astonishment, this clerk also says that she doesn't serve blondes.\n\nThe blonde asks the clerk, "How in the world do you know I am a blonde?"\n\nThe clerk looks at her disgustedly and says,"That's not a TV -- it's a microwave!"\n----------\nBLONDE DEODORANT\n\nA blonde walks into a pharmacy and asks the assistant for some bottom deodorant. The pharmacist, a little bemused, explains to the woman that they don't sell bottom deodorant, and never have.\n\nUnfazed, the blonde assures the pharmacist that she has been buying the stuff from this store on a regular basis, and would like some more.\n\n"I'm sorry," says the pharmacist, "we don't have any."\n"But I always get it here," says the blonde.\n"Do you have the container it comes in?"\n"Yes!" said the blonde, "I will go and get it."\n\nShe returns with the container and hands it to the chemist who looks at it and says to her, "This is just a normal stick of underarm deodorant."\n\nThe annoyed blonde snatches the container back and reads out loud from the container, "To apply, push up bottom."
557105
Some funny sex jokes.  They're awesome!!!
766230
lmao i luv little jhonny jokes!!!!!   :D
849770
Giggle (small one). I've heard it before but we need more clean jokes like that :)