Happy after divorce, is this normal???
340048
run with your freedom and be the best pimp you can be.. Wait a long time before you jump out of a window again..\nWomen only want two things in life..\n1. Have their way all the time \n2. money
907091
Nothing happened it happen just like this for everyone! \n\nYou had problem in your life; you had divorce; and now busy in work! All these effect in your mood, look, smile, words exchanging with girls and they run away.  \n\nBefore your free man, open face, no negative woman as "ex-wife" in your life... so your smile was true and your look was hopeful and attractive; so women were around you!\n\nDO at least three hours sport everyday. The chemical that exercises causes in your brain; automatically, would open your face, and change your mood! Good Luck!
913536
no. i was in a miserable marriage for ten years. and every day of those 10 years, i put on my happy face and faced the world.  i thought that if i could convince everyone that i was happy, then i might actually be happy...inside thought i was numb and sad...
780747
Are you and he fighting alot? That's the interesting thing about love and marriage; First The relationship is sweet and charismatic and may stay this way for a long time. Then as time goes by you'll both have other main intrests and concerns. This is not at all strange by the way. I got married at a very young age and didn't know the guy long enough first. This may have been what happened to you also. I went back and forth to my ex for about 3 years before I finally followed through with the divorce.
1129961
I am sooooooooo happy I can't stop smiling! I got away from my abusive ex husband last year and then met someone, fell in love, and we moved in together after my divorce was final. I have finally met someone that treats me with the love, kindness, respect, etc, that every person deserves. He does NOT believe in abuse of any sort (same as me) and doesn't believe in cheating either (me either). He treats me like a God and has me high on a pedestal, just like I do him. :)
1031269
I just celebrated my 1st anniversary and the first weeks after the wedding were anticlimactic and I too was unhappy.  The reason:  The wedding and preparations were over.   And I thought "is this it?"  Reality set in with a quickness.\n\nAs time has progressed and problems have occurred, I think back to why I married this man and everything gets better.  Through this year I have threatened to leave he has threatened to leave, we have discussed counseling but we have done none of the above.  \n\nNow we have settled into a routine where we once again love and respect each other and we look forward to the years to come.\n\nYes we lost that spark but there was still an ember and we have fanned it into a blazing flame.\n\nGood luck
193562
I think everyone does at different times. Right now I am doing really well with my guy. It's been a yr and a half, so I am pretty happy. If you have your problems, they can only get better.
505826
...been there brother...it hurts worse than anyone will ever understand.\n\nFriends and family are great, but you know as well as I do, that you can only be around them so much.  Sometimes you just need time alone.  Try not to spend too much time alone.  I know, I still struggle with that and my divorce was final 6 months ago.  \n\nMan, I could write a book to you right now.  It is just SO hard dude.  \n\nWhatever you do, don't spend all your time thinking about all the great times, the great traits of your wife and, most importantly, beating yourself up over the situation, (kicking yourself over anything and everything you could have done better, blaming yourself for not making her happier and feeling like you failed).  THIS IS WAY EASIER TO SAY THAN TO DO!  I know.  This is the trap that I fell in and caused me to become WAY, WAY depressed.\n\nYou are gonna ride a roller coaster of up and down emotion for the next few years.  The low times are gonna be LOW, LOW, and the high times will be pretty good, believe it or not.\n\nWriting has become my happy place.  Actually, it doesn't really make me happy, it just releaves me of the pain that I am experiencing at the moment.  I don't always write about the divorce, feelings or depression.  Sometimes, I write about current events, events that really touched me, friends, etc.  It really doesn't matter.  Writing just gives me an outlet to release emotion without bothering others.
193353
There is no Guilt , what Guilt? U would feel guilty ,if u continue with her (him) without real desire to be together, do not only look now to the effect of the divorce,, but look further ,,to later, Yes, maybe she is upset , she feel victimized ,, but actually this is the right thing to do ,if people can not live together for any reason (even if  the reason does not look fair for one party)..You give urself a chance to find happiness (if u love someone than her, what is better for her (ur wife) ... to live with someone who doesn't love her (and u live with someone u do not love !!) , Or  to have a second chance to find a suitable mate for each other..As For children ,it is better for them to be with happy parents ,  even if they are separated (better then watching them fighting and unhappy ,)I presume u r fair , giving her, her legal and ,what u both think it is her rights , and the complete rights of ur children(financial, Care....etc)and more a little ...One of -ur ex wife -rights, that u become a friend to her, after all, u spent some (even if it is little) good time together,,wish her luck to find a good mate, wish urself luck to have happiness with new mate,work together to have healthy children,,,Good luck
84757
Sounds like this hit you hard. Sounds like you didnt know it was coming. They have support groups for divorce people. Try going out and doing something for yourself thats make you feel good, and dont blame yourself.
641183
You know i have been through this situation myself.  I'm not proud.  We just kind of drifted apart after the same amount of time as you, but were only separated for about 2 months.  I really liked the feeling of freedom and meeting other people.  I still think of a certain someone now and then, especially when my husband and i get into arguments about petty stuff.  I think "why did i even come back"?  Then i realize that he has put up with all my crap and it would be so hard to start all over and put effort into a new relationship.  I also think about my kids and in today's society kids need the guidance of both parents.  Anyway, i really do love my husband, it's just sometimes its fun to think of what could have been.  \nI'm not saying all marriages are to stay together for the sake of the children, it's just if you really love each other, you need to try and get passed the other man.\n\nTry to do things with your husband, take time for yourselves.  Go to the movies out to eat, or even spend time at the park with the kids(if it applies).  And just when you feel an argument coming on think and sometimes prayer comes in handy(if you are religious). \n\nGood luck. i wish you the best.
116543
I felt the same after I left a relationship that wasn't making me happy.  Sometimes you miss being single if you're with someone who isn't right for you.  Glad to hear you didn't stay in the relationship just to be with somebody.  Too many people would rather be unfulfilled in a relationship rather than be happy being single.  And when you're happy being single, you'll attract other happy people.  Then who knows what could happen?  Good going.  You'll do well in life, my friend.
310016
You've obviously dedicated yourself to your spouse if you've been married for 35 years, so congrats on a very successful marraige. It's a perfectly normal part of human nature to reflect on what could have been. It sounds like you left a small part of yourself with this other person. There is no shame in remembering happy times with another person, but if it gets to the point of obsession then you should think about speaking with someone in the mental health field. If you aren't that far gone just enjoy your fond memories, while focusing on the good memories you have with your spouse.
165928
Wait and see how things go after your divorce is final.. He may fear reprocusions from a jealous husband.  Also are you sure that a committed relationship is really what you want.  After all, you are just getting out of a committed relationship.  Maybe you should give yourself some time to be free and single and then take another look at your feeling towards this man friend.\n\nGood luck to you in all you do..
693782
Yes this is normal. What you feel is just a normal reaction to hurt and frustration. The real job is staying together in spite of those feelings and toughing it out.Sounds like ya'll are on the right tract. Just always be open to listening to each other...and compromising.
820856
I don't want to be critical, but I want to be honest in my answer.\n\nI had this same fear after my 2nd marriage ended.  Thank goodness I had a dear friend who saw what I was experiencing and helped me rebuild my self-esteem and helped me "find myself".  I realized that I was not happy with myself and that I needed to be before I got involved again.  This was not a quick process.  And it was a lonely one.  But I thank God every day that I went through it.  When I quit looking and found out that I actually liked myself, I found a great guy.  He and I are no longer together, but I found that I am a complete person without a man.  This has given me a whole new perspective on life and relationships.  Since then, I have met and dated a much higher quality of men.  The man I'm seeing now is a wonderful and thoughtful man who is a good father and is concerned about the people around him.  This is want I wanted and what found me.\n\nI hope my experience can help!
840428
My wife and I divorced when our sons were 5 and 2 1/2.  It was a miserable experience.  The divorce was painful because I didn't feel like I belonged anywhere anymore.  There was no normality.  Even more painful was not being with my sons everyday.  The hurt will not disappear overnight.  You probably don't want to hear this but it just takes some time.  One thing that will help is to maintain a civil relationship with your ex, but while the hurt is still there try to restrict your conversations to the children.  As for the children, do whatever you can to make sure you have as much time with them as you possibly can.  Focus your energy on making sure they know you want them around and that your home is also their's and they aren't just visitors.  I know the pain you are feeling and my heart goes out to you.  This won't make the hurt go away completely, but it does give you something to sort of hang-on to that is positive.