How can I improve my poem?
354359
read more\nwrite more\ncriticize more
816876
start writing poems and read them with feeling, itä'll help you slow down and give life to your story telling beleive it or not!\nGood luck!
511305
Depends how good your poetry is.\n\nA lot of beginners think they are good poets because they can make a rhyme, but their meter is just awful and totally unsuitable to be a song. However if you do come up with a good set of lyrics for a song, I'm sure there are plenty of musicians that could help you come up with a few chord changes or a simple rythm to put behind it. Or maybe even just a drum beat, who knows.
192626
What do *you* think?  \n\nLiterary criticism is worth nothing until you learn to form your own opinions of creative works.  I can tell you what *I* think but how are you going to know if I'm right unless you try and sort it out for yourself?\n\nUpdate: Actually I don't think much of this poem. It's far too literal and falls into plain diatribe by the end.  But anyway, update your question with your own opinions and I'll tell you if I think you're on the right track.\n\nUpdate: NO!  You're off to a great start!  Excellent thinking!  \n\nConsider the rock, the river, and the tree are obviously not supposed to be literally a rock, river, and tree, but metaphors. What do they stand for?  What are the characteristics of each?  What are the differences between them?  What is the promise of each?\n\nHint:  The rock never changes but provides a solid base.  The river flows and provides life-giving water.  The tree grows and always changes and gives comfort and shade.  What three things are also related like this?  One never changing below us, one always flowing by us, and the last always growing above us?\n\nOnce you see these the rest of the poem makes a lot more sense.\n\nAs for "tone", look for repetitive sounds in the poem.  What words rhyme?  What words repeat?  What vowel sounds are repeated?  Repetition and rhyme are used to emphasize certain words -- do you see any patterns?\n\nFinally most scholars interpret this poem to be a celebration of diversity and united effort, not necessarily about everyone having a second chance.  But I suppose that's a possibly sub-theme of the poem.\n\nUpdate: if you want more help please post in my 360 page.  This forum doesn't work well for repeated postings.
312420
it would help if you added the poem, then we could answer your question
53119
You'd do best to start simple. Eight lines, for instance, with either eight or ten syllables in each line. Make the last word in line 2 rhyme with the last word in line 4, and the last word in line 6 rhyme with th elast word in line 8. You don't have to make all the lines rhyme. You might want to try meter; if so, iambic is the easiest.\n\nLike singing, juggling, riding a bicycle no hands or baking a cake, it takes practice.\n\nFigure out what you like best about him - or just something you like about him - and set it to rhyme.\n\n"I love to take your hand in mine, as we\nWalk a-long life's trail; you are so strong and\nWarm, I feel pro-tec-ted in your grasp, I\nE'en like the feel of call-ous on your hand."\n\nI put "-" in to show syllables. "E'en" is a poetic contraction to make the last line come out 10 syllables. It means "Even". I didn't use much meter. The first eight syllables in the first line are iambic (soft-hard). Then it goes to pot. "as we" is two soft syllables in a row.\n\nThis one was what we in the writing trade call quick and dirty. Yours will vary. If he doesn't hold your hand when you walk together, or he doesn't have callouses, pick something else you like about him. It would probably be better to write a number of short ones about shared times or different things you like about him than to try to put all of your love in one long poem.\n\nThere are poems that don't rhyme or have meter. They are easier to write, but they aren't as good. They are like serving hamburger helper instead of rib steak.\n\nMeter means you have a pattern of soft and hard syllables. Most people prounounce "Even" with a strong "E" and a soft "ven", for instance. Iambic means you alternate soft and hard syllables, starting with a soft one. Some people say it is the natural form of English. Iambic pentameter is five of each in each line. Shakespeare used it a lot.
683615
Poetry is not what you feel, it is what you can make the other person - the one who is reading or better yet hearing your poem - feel. You can have all these neat squishy feelings inside but if you cannot communicate them to your audience what you got is mush.\n\nAnd the best poetry is not written when you are in the moment, so to speak. The best poetry is written in calm reflection after the moment, looking back to crystallize that emotive state in words that are just right. You want vowel sounds that set the mood, consonants that link or stop the lines. \n\nYou need to think of enjambment (running over the end of the line) and line breaks. Poems do not rhyme anymore, not modern ones. Most do not even look like poems.  \n\nSo, perhaps an expression of feelings but more accurately a ringing of those feelings in someone else.
924346
How can you kill someone if they tell you to do your own homework? And you did the poem yourself, you didn't ask someone to do it for you.\n\nBut, yeah, the poem sounds great. Personally, I wouldn't change anything since poems are more artistic than being grammatically correct. If you feel that you got your artistic point across, then you don't need to change it.
20430
what type of writing are you looking to improve?  one of the best tools that I use for my college classes are writing workshops and on-line paper revisions. also..talk one on one with your teacher and see what he/she has to say about your writing.  make sure your sentences are descriptive (this is more for story writing)and that they are complete; no run-ons.  dictionary.com  is also an awesome site to help you get better vocabulary to use in your writing.  You might also check out writing sites on the internet and look at sample essays and papers. authorsden.com is a great site for that. :)
1088502
increase your vocabulary (but don't become sesquipedalian in your writing), read works of others, PRACTICE writing..a lot. After you've written many pieces and edited them, you'll improve.
503338
Good one :]\n\nBut one exception to your poem:\n\nI can't FORGET your funny poem.(My forgetter would become a little worse) :]\n\nHave a nice day :]
53752
The best way to analyze the effectiveness of a poem is to examine it's effect on yourself. What words grasp you emotionally and what do they remind you of? Read it aloud and listen to the rythms, whether staccato or smooth. A lot of what you feel while reading this poem is what most other people will be feeling. I say go with your gut on this one.
1101460
it is actually pretty good. i like it. don't give up you should keep writing poems, i read it and i can almost feel what you felt when you wrote the poem. Good job.\n\ni write lyrics and i wish i could make them somehow a lil darker then they come out to be and you showed me that it is possible that i just need to work on it more,  your poem is great.
985434
Ask him what can you do to improve
1089767
Post the poem or at least a link to it, and be more specific about what you need help analyzing.
886362
That is beautiful. It's heartfelt and I used to write a lot and in High school I was picked best writer by the teachers. This poem seems as though you or whoever wrote this wasn't writing because they felt they had to but because these are feelings that plague them everyday. I feel that the only way to be a true writer is to be able to contact the feelings inside of you and bring them out in pictures instead of words and put those pictures into words on paper. It seems that's what the writer was doing and did a very good job at interpreting her own thoughts and pictures. That's what I do, I'm an only child so all I had was my own thoughts and imagination. Keep writing so you can get better and more refined and you could compile a book of poetry and get it published and make some good money off of it. Sorry that was my entrepreneurial side coming out of me. Good work though!!!! Practice makes perfect, you can be an excellent writer once you keep practicing and find your own style. Excellent hope to see more!
755055
i think ur usuing ur talents in the wrong way. Y dont u re read ur poem then ask ur self what is wrong with it