How should you politely get your wife out of the bathroom if she is in there too long?
339356
The smoke alarm is a wonderful gadget!  Think about it! *smile*
860155
treat her with the most courtesy that you would treat a lady of 95. she will spend so much time trying to figure you out that the holiday will be over before she catches on get on her case about every thing, if she goes to the washroom tell her if she needs help to give you a call, if she go to get out of a chair tell her to wait until you can assist her, smother her with kindness and it will drive her out
456786
Close the bathroom door, and let him keep reading...walk away - just walk away........
336394
that question hurts to read...correct your grammar! i dont say anything in the bathroom personally. when i have to poop i hold it until i have a fee moment in there alone. i pee without care though. if its a stinky poop please flush during the poop.
447045
I would say you should just be honest with her and voice your concerns. Ask her outright is she's having a problem. You're married to her and honesty is probably your best route. Just let her know that you want to help her and you care about her... Otherwise, if you don't mind risking getting caught and having a very angry wife if she finds out, you could buy a drug test. They sell them online. I suppose you could trick your wife into giving a urine sample somehow... maybe tell her you want to try something new in your sex life? Or just stick a bowl or something in the toilet and hope she doesn't see it? Maybe if you get in good with her doctor you could ask him to give her a drug test without telling her?
1135450
Hide in the bathroom.
664774
Go with the flow...\n\nI don't like to be interfered with.  I like to be left alone, and for the b/f just to do what he is told, like go shopping, make me a coffee, and not to argue with me.  It doesn't last long!\n\nYou got it, the analyst!\n\nInstead of asking all the other ladies here, it would be best to ask your wife what SHE would like you to do - and ask her in between her periods!
822890
A nurse once told me, and I can't be sure she was right but it made sense, that all things considered it was under 90 minutes. If it was very hot, you might sweat some out of you. But to get to bathroom, 90 minutes waz what she said.
687565
Remove the bathroom door.
858101
You should drink a gallon of water and not go to the bathroom for three days.  You should buy your wife jewelry and cook the Thanksgiving dinner if she is the one doing the cooking. Oh, and don't ever do that again.
1125440
Very simple solution.  Whenever he is at your place, please lock the bathroom.  When he asks why its locked tell him that you are tired of cleaning up after him and that he doesnt know how to use the bathroom so the new rule is "if a person doesnt know how to use the restroom, then a person shouldnt be using it".  He will then request for the key, dont give it to him but tell him that you need 10 to 15 minutes to think about it.  Let him hold it for that time.  When he asks for the keys after 10 or 15 minutes tell him that you are still undecided (still thinking) if he is responsible enough to have the keys. Finally give him the key but not before 20 to 30 minutes. After holding it for that long he wont forget easily.  When you give the keys, remind him what needs to be done after he goes or plays with himself.  While he is in there, knock again on the door and ask him if he is ok or does he need you to call his mum on the phone to tell him what to do. When you do this put on your poker face and MEAN what you say.  If he still doesnt do it then lock it again the next time he is over and JUST DONT GIVE HIM THE KEYS even if he does it in his pants. If he does go in his pants, then rest assured he will never forget.  If he doesnt soil his pants , just holding it will also make him never forget.   I will bet you he wont forget......... (hows your foot and hope you are feeling better..............  later.
1184591
Just a guess but the male may not be married huh?\n\nIf he were he would be much more attuned to your problem.\n\nYou have only two choices.\n\n1).  Tell him to please be more considerate when going to the bathroom.\n\n2). Have a male friend tell him.\n\nOr continue to clean it up. \nThere is no real explanation why men do this. has to do with standing up and not paying attention. It is unusual I think to share bathrooms so he may not be even thinking about you having to sit down. Clearly he doesn't sit while at work or you would not have the problem.\n\nAnd please understand you are not being mean to insist that he have a little consideration for you.
471789
Divorce the person. ha ha;\n\nSeriously, extreme attention to personal hygiene is the best alternative here. Removal of glands has other complications you probably wouldn't like.
92318
don't muffle-that would be wrong-let the fart live and do what it was went meant to do!then when you are done, hold your head high and walk out of the bathroom with pride!
1061518
Avert your eyes and say excuse me quietly as  you back out of the room (unless they didn't notice you - in that case say nothing).\n\nIf it has already been done, you just need to push past it - it's normal, it's natural, it's no big deal.  \n\nApolgize for any embarassment and forget about it.\n\nPeace!
817111
Sorry I am a woman, but you need to confront you wife with this.  It's disrespectful to you and to your marriage.  Sit her down and tell her you know what her butt is up to.
1173768
Write her telephone number on the Men's Room and also include distinctive details about her genitalia...\nThat would keep her pretty busy on the phone, not allowing her to make up things against you for a long long time...