is it ok to break the "vows" after 17 yrs if she wont have sex?
344453
"...for better, for worse, in sickness or in health, for richer or poorer, 'til death do you part." Any further questions?
374749
Never, I took my vows seriously, unfortunately not too many people do anymore, divorce is a cop out..
1105998
You make it sound like it was a contingency of marriage. If you wouldn't have married her if she had told you she wouldn't have a threesome with you, you have much bigger problems than sex. If that's all it would take, you don't love her and you don't deserve her love.
1185610
I think it can last. It is time for you to set some limits. You cannot\naccuse her of cheating, although the appearance is glaring. That is the point. Its time for her to grow up and quickly. That behavior is suitable for single women with no attachments. She is not there. In order to work on your marriage she needs to be home well before the bars close. The girls weekends in Mexico ,or elsewhere have to stop. She does not consider herself married outside the city limits. If that's what she wants she's going to have to leave. She MUST understand, she does not get to be single when she wants. She has a family, she's being provided for, she is married.  Put the limits on. She will protest. She will protest as if you are her father telling her she has school tomorrow. If that keeps up she'll need to leave. Hopefully your\nsetting some limits will deliver the wake up call. You cannot let this continue, for your own sanity. Sadly, she's taking advantage of you. You'll be better off taking over a little more. If she figures out you will not put up with this anymore she will either modify her behavior or you will have her answer.
659064
Yes they can do that....you want the truth....stop having sex until you are married....then she won't have to be checked for something she has no business doing right now.  The two of you need to build a strong relationship (without sex) if that can last.....hey, you may have a good future together.  But, for now, yes...there are ways to know if a person is sexually active.
781846
No sex for 8 months is BS.  Talk to her about it calmly and find out what her deal is.  Be ready to compromise.  If she still won't EVER have sex with you then something is seriously wrong and you need to escalate the situation (counseling, divorce, whatever).\n\nGood luck, bro.
389113
Unfortunately..not until she is gone. We all make that mistake. If you really love her and she still loves you...GO GET HER. You can work it out. The main thing is YOU LOVE EACH OTHER...everything else is 'details'...and details CAN be worked out. Just be glad you realized it now and may have a chance to fix things. What's the worse thing that could happen? She could say 'no'. I think it's a chance you have to take. Be honest with her...and yourself.
316117
you got it. Its a cultural thing. Its a sin to indulge in pre marital sex. for 18 or more years they are told its wrong to have sex before marriage. You cannot convince them over a few months to change such an instilled value. Unless they agree on their own. And don't you dare go on forcing yourself on them because its not your right to do so.
203237
Yep, get a marriage counselor.  I mean, getting into the relationship you knew ahead of time he was 17 years older and that there would come a time when your sex drives differed from each other.  This should have been taken into consideration from the start.  Just be sure to look inside yourself and find the true reason you are having issues.  Don't lie to yourself and say that you "are getting distant and there is no more sex" when part of the reason very well could be the fact that you want a man your age.
193503
as long as there is no sex involved its all good.  it may piss you off but tell her that it does if she continues to do it, break up with her. trust is # 1 in a relationship
401384
It depends on a lot of things.\nIn some cultures, you could be married when you were thirteen.  \nDoes she know about sex?  It's consequences and how to prevent pregnancy and STDs?  If she doesn't, then she shouldn't be kissing.\n\nIf you are the parent... how would you plan on stopping her?  If she has started having periods, she is biologically an adult.  Trying to force her to not do something will likely backfire.  I recommend sitting  down and trying to talk to her about your concerns and point of view.  I believe education is the best solution.\n\nIf you are the 13 year old... you are probably a little too young.  Is there a "right" age.  No.  Not really.  It depends on how mature you are.  If you were my child, I would be fearful that this is the first stage of you rushing into sex.  STDs and pregnancy are dire consequences of having sex.  You really need to understand the dangers associated with it all.
668326
Well, if you're looking for technical truths, yes you would be commiting fornication...but not adultry...because you're not "cheating" on a spouse. She would, however because she is. She is married and has a commitment to someone. Have relations with you is breaking that commitment. And in a sense, she is also commiting fornication.\n\nBut I believe, and in my opinion, that if someone (who may or may not be married) is encouraging someone else (who is) to break that commitment with their spouse, then they are just as at fault for adultry as that person is (in a matter or principle). I mean, come on, be an adult about these things and make the right choice. An affair, to me, just shows that two people can't make a commitment. \n\nHope this helps.
660025
Rather than just coming out and saying "that's not going to happen," my opinion would be to try and try and try again.  What better gift can a future spouse receive than you on your wedding night - with a commitment that you have chosen to become pure - again - for this night only.  It is perfectly OK to start making that commitment now.  Buy yourself a purity/commitment ring and wear it on your ring finger and really try each day to live out that commitment.  Believe me, it will change your life =)  My opinion:  Wait until marriage!!!  Best wishes =)
1144410
Hey hey, easy on this guy, his spelling doesn't look like a 14 yr old kid, but it looks like English is a 2nd language to him. In some countries (I'm in USA), a 29 yr old male virgin isn't a rare thing at all. In some societies, it's quite common.\n\nThere is no pain for the male. If a female is healthy, there is pain when breaking virginity, but it doesn't last long, only during the penetration, and the pain usually goes away soon after that. I mean in minutes, usually not hours, and definitely not for days. Don't worry, she will enjoy her honeymoon without having to walk around in pain. If she does, she needs a doctor, because prolonged pain from intercourse indicates she may have some kind of illness in her female parts.\n\nDeflowering on the wedding night is a normal, natural, beautiful thing. It's a holy thing, why the concern for it? If you both really don't want to do that on the 1st night, you don't have to. But a healthy, happy marriage includes a beautiful sex life. She will not be any less honorable once she breaks her virginity with you, because you will be her <husband>. It's what God has designed. He designed sex for pleasure too.\n\nAs for birth control, if you two want to have children, then don't use it. If you want to wait, then look into the various forms of birth control. If you both don't want to use a condom, then she can see a doctor to get birth control pills. If she doesn't smoke, then it's okay for her to start taking them before the wedding. I'm not saying for you to have sex before the wedding, but for her to start taking them before the wedding.\n\nI hope this helps.
98238
Its time to respect her wishes,she might have decided to back out of the relationship and work on her marriage.Its best to walk away from the situation.Its never a good idea to get involved with a married person!for numerous reasons.
1027627
Wuss! wha happened to good and bad times!\n\nDo youhave the capacity to love and work your way through this like a man or are you a coward that will run away!\n\nIF she did not commit adultery and betray you you should honor yor vow and stick it out!!!1
250209
I think only if the other person can't have sex, weather its becuz they physically can't or they have some sort of illness such as cancer. Then that's totally understandable and I think that's what the vows meant,'til death do us part.'\nBut if the person is not having sex becuz the relationship isnt working or they are just bored of the person, then no its not ok. Then they would have to work on themselves and improve the problem.