How do I ask my obviously gay friend to come out to me?
335984
Okay, well obviously you shouldn't have snooped in his mail box, and he trusted you not to or he wouldn't have given you the password. But you feel bad about it and realize it was wrong, so I'm not going to reprimand you for it.\n\nIf you guys have been friends for three years, and you're good friends, I don't think it's out of line to ask him if he's gay. If your friend knows you're an accepting person, and he's also an accepting person (more on this later), it shouldn't be a problem to ask him as long as you don't do it in an accusatory way.\n\nThe reason why I ask if he's an accepting person is that it's possible that he might not have come out to himself yet. I have a friend that was obviously gay, everyone who knew him thought he was gay from the start, but even though he was accepting of gay people he'd never admit it. He wouldn't even admit to being bi. Well, after knowing this guy for four years he finally admitted that he was bi, and that he had actually been with more guys than girls. The thing is, at the time he didn't think that made him gay or even bi! He was convinced that because he was "just friends" with these guys, and just happened to have benefits with them, that he wasn't bi or gay. He still won't admit he's gay but now that he's come out as bi he never dates girls and says he's not interested in them. The moral of the story is that your friend might not have admitted to himself yet that he is gay. If you ask him about it, he might deny it. Clearly he IS gay or you wouldn't have found those messages, but he might not be willing to accept that yet. If he's a socially open-minded person he shouldn't be offended if you ask him, even if he denies it (my friend was never offended). But if not, that could be the reason why he's not coming out to you or possibly himself, and he could react badly if you ask. So just keep that in mind.\n\nThe final option is that perhaps you can hint that you have some suspicions about him, but not ask outright. Make it clear that you don't have a problem with gays, and let him know how good of a friend you consider him and that you'd never give him up for anything. Then just wait for him to become comfortable coming out to you, when he's ready.
837098
Hi there!\n\nWell I'm sure your friend did not "just discover he is gay" it's not like you look under this rock one day and Oh My God I just discovered this.\nIt just sounds cute the way you said it, but I'm sure he has known for quite a while because gay does not BING turn on all of a sudden.\nSo support him be his best friend more then ever right now, because it took him tremendous courage to even speak to you about it ...I would think.\nI don't know how old either one of you are but it is the same for heteros as homos we all need and all need at the different ages, so just be there for him and love him. It will all come in time, his courage will build and he will meet people just as everyone does, give it time. Maybe at school there are some support groups for gays, something like that could be helpful for him and help him feel more secure about himself plus he could meet people.
349294
Does he know your gay?If not tell him and let him know how you feel.
27735
I don't know if there's a good answer for that.  He obviously is "in the closet" and I am certainly sympathetic to that.  But I also imagine how hard it must be to have to deal with that kind of pressure.\n\nThe only thing I can come up with that's pretty pointed but not rude is, "When it happens, I promise you'll be the first to know!"  I hope it helps.  And thanks for being such a good friend to him.
932113
Well, first you need to make sure you're not advancing on someone who is against gays.  If you get the vibe that he'll crack you in the head for standing too close ... I would move along.\n\nBut, if you've known this person for a while and feel that you both have a connection, then I would ask him to hang-out sometime.  Maybe grab some pizza or hang out at the mall.   Go back to your place and "study" or whatever.  Find out who he is and if he is interested in you as a friend or something more.
1027778
If he is gay, the only way to stop him from being gay is to Kill him.  That is the only way.  You might be able to terrorize him into pretending to be straight, but he'll still be gay.\n\nTake this advice or not, but your best option is to simply support him and let him be himself.
443412
i had the same thing with my bezzie a few years ago, and for some reason out of our little gang he felt he couldn't tell me...he told everyone else.  don't ask him, just be a friend and make him feel comfortable in himself be open so he feels he can talk to u about it if he needs it.  He didn't tell me coz he thought i'd hate him and dissaprove!\n\nI love him, he's a mate!\n\nIt doesn't really matter whether he's straight or gay aslong as he's in your life!\n\ngive him time  \n\nxxx
540275
just come out and tell him that you like him or get a friend to do it!!!
895029
I have female friends who are in a similar situation to you. Unfortunately they just shy away from me, which is irritating for me but they aren't willing to compromise anything about it.\n\nThe choices that you have right now is to either shy away from him or put up with it. If you put up with it, you may decide to think of him being 'gay' as a way of reminding yourself he's inaccessible.
299173
my best guy friend is gay
677277
Things are cut and dry.  You are gay, and he is straight.  He probably is just comfortable around you and enjoys your company.  That doesn't mean that he wants to be anything other than friends with you.  If he asks why yer still single, he just probably thinks yer a good guy and deserves to be with another good guy, but no necessarily him.  Keep being his friend, but dont think or hope for more.  If he really is gay, and decides to come out, Im sure you'll be the first to know, but until then... Just realize that he is STRAIGHT.
792349
Well, chances are that most people who love you already know, you just haven't confirmed it yet.  Stay calm and think good thoughts.  Being gay is not terrible, but some people may need time to accept it.  Try setting aside time, free from distractions, and tell the person.  If it is a friend and they react poorly, don't push it, let them figure it out.  Continue to be a good friend, but if they choose to not be  good friend, consider yourself lucky to be able to sort the wheat from the chaff so easily.  Your family will love and accept you- you are family.  It is better to be honest and true, living your life fully as a good person, that force yourself to live in fear, lying.
540848
Strike up a conversation about someone who is gay and see what their stance is. Then tell them if it isn't too terrible.
458994
My advice play it safe, and just become friends with him at first. Then once hes comfortable with having you around start talking about a gay issue and watch his responce, try and do it when there is no one else around. That will be a dead give away to his orientation.  I dont have a lot of experiance with this, but its the advice i ALWAYS get.
46671
If he's gay, and you're not a man, you're barking up the wrong tree... so to speak.\n\nIf you're a man, then go up to him and ask him if he'd like to get a cup of coffee with you.
946704
Give him a big hug and tell him that you love him and nothing can ever change that.\n\nDepending on the kind of relationship you have, you could also add jokingly, "But you have to let me meet all your potential boyfriends first - so I can tell them embarrassing stories about you!"\n\nBe loving, but add some humor so it doesn't turn into one of those awkward "I love you, I love you too, what now?" moments.\n\nYou say that nothing about your relationship will change (or that you don't want it to), so why hang out or do things different from before you were assured that he was gay? Do the things you've always enjoyed doing together - that will help ensure that nothing will truly change. Make sure that he knows you're interested in new ideas, just in case there are other things he would like to do now that he knows that you know.
171314
In this situation you should probably try spending some quality time with the person sooner or later it will become totally clear of their sexuality and you never know if they are they may come out and ask you first, either that or talk to a mutual friend if there is one available, and try to get the dish on what they are into, basically the same thing you would do if you were straight, nothing really has to be different. The worst that could happen is that he says no but it is best to be true to yourself :-))!!!