If your family argues are you likely to argue with your spouse?
342767
not necessarily. from my childhood experience, my mom argues a lot with my dad (rest his soul) and to her current beau. it makes me mad listening to their topic and i told my husband, if i start acting that way, please remind me of my mom so i wouldn't do it. \n\ni guess i got a phobia of hearing argument and it makes me upset cause it affected the family for sure. all my brothers hates argument as well cause of our mom, they are all married now but very quiet and never argue at all. we are glad that we got our dad's attitude cause it will be a havoc to our future if we inherit such horrible traits.\n\nso it's up to you if you want to be like your family, would you want a peaceful life? good luck and hope you didn't inherit it.
590364
Actually (and unfortunately), no, they will not have to respect you eventually. If they feel you are wrong for their precious daughter, all the money and power in the world will not convince them otherwise.\n\nI would recommend simply trying to bring things down a couple of notches. You're not alone in finding family get togethers extremely awkward. Most of us just eventually learn to suck it up and keep our mouths shut. If your in-laws try to interfere, thank them for their advice and then change the subject quickly to something everyone agrees on ---like the weather or sports.\n\nThese people are not worth ruining your relationship with your wife over, so play Richard Simmons if you are able to, and keep conversations short, superficial, and polite when you are not.\n\nBest of luck.
42612
While it is normal, even healthy, to argue some in a relationship... it's not normal or healthy to argue all the time. That means you're constantly on edge and tense and that's no good for your immune system. If things are really that bad you might want to pull him to the side and suggest calling a 'truce' between you. Or going your seperate ways. Best of luck, whatever you end up doing.\nK.
530189
If you both want to reconcile then do it - it doesn't matter if anyone approves.  What matters here is you, your husband, and your marriage.  Your family will learn in time to forgive him.  You need to also tell them that you have forgiven him and you expect them to forgive also AND treat him with respect.
184640
I tend to avoid conflict with the exception of my husband. I tell him what is on my mind and if he makes me mad.
830962
Wow, and I thought it was just our family! \n\nI hate all that. It's why I don't see them more than I do. So little of what is argued about seems worth the trouble. Without the trivial stuff, my family would argue that there is nothing to argue about! So, I enjoy Thanksgiving on my own. I shop, eat out, see friends (who do NOT argue about trivial stuff), and basically enjoy time off work. Thanksgiving is now a relaxing day, and I have the peace of mind to give thanks for my blessings, rather than wish I were somewhere else. Hope you have a blessed Thanksgiving!
126091
Someone has to give in. Either one is talking too much, or the other is not listening at all. \n\nCommunicate to your spouse that you have a part to play in this hardship between you and your spouse. If you're usually the talker, just listen. Bite your tongue when you have a retort.\n\nCalmly assess the problem together. No one can have an open and calm discussion when one of the parties are angry. So delay the discussion if you have to.\n\nBe honest with yourself. It takes two hands to clap. So admit fault, apologise and if possible, seek a counselor.\n\nPraying also helps. Good luck :)
451651
Married for 15 years and we still tell each other where we are and what we do and No they shouldn't get mad but they always will but they will get over it and they still love ya . It's good that you let your spouse know what you are doing just in case something bad happens or what if your spouse wins a million dollars wouldn't you want to know right away? There's always a what if and it's better to know and to be prepared than to wonder what the hell happened.Just in case it's your last chance to say I love you.
666041
I don't think that is normal, but it depends on what you define as an argument. Couples often have a sarcastic banter between them that seems negative but is really just trivial and that I actually find rather cute (though I myself prefer peace). I would much rather have my love be my source of peace and understanding than for him to be a source of constant stress.
541788
Ok I completly understand what both you and him are going through cause I have been there and done that, therefor my advice to you is if you really think and feel you love him try to understand his point even if you don't agree or like it very much. What it sounds like he is doing is avoiding having confrontations with his family and you. The less they know the less they will nag at him, they less they nag the better mood you will see him in. Think of it in a positive way he just wants to avoid problems between his family you and him, besides its also a healthier realationship for both of you, never know he may be thinking of taking the relationship a step higher and want to move in together in a few months and when he does he will drop the bom on them, just keep your eyes open at all times giving everyone and anything the benifit of a dought. Good Luck and take things easy enoy your time
166963
becuz familys are made to trust that what theyre for! they love you a lot and therefore dont want to hurt you by not being trustworthy. and after having trouble with family you should probably should wait a little before trusting someone with something because in anger people sometimes forget love and not hurting people. ask the family member if you can trust him/her before telling anything and try to make sure they are telling the truth.
313885
Married couples fight. It happens. One thing you need to do is never go to bed angry at each other. I don't know why you had a fight and I don't want to know. You guys have to find a way to have a civil conversation without losing your tempers. I love my wife and I respect her as woman as well. I am nothing without her. I wish you luck
773183
If you disagree with a statement, you never feel that it is true.\n\nIf you tend to disagree, you would probably never feel that it is true, but you might make an exception in certain cases.\n\nFor example, take this statement:\nCheating on a spouse is okay.\n\nWhereas person #1 is happily married and might always disagree, person #2 may know a friend who was in an abusive relationship, and after cheating on her spouse, married the other man, who has treated her like a queen ever since.  Person #1 would mark disagree, and person #2 would mark "Tend to Disagree"
836183
Well, trying to tell his family that you have a problem sometimes may be a lost cause.  Why don't you have a serious talk with your husband.....\n\nMore importantly, I would distance myself from your BIL.  And, don't let him IM you and you don't IM him either.
1111181
No, I don't think that's a selfish question. On the contrary, it sounds like you're afraid they'll be making a decision based on you instead of what they would want to do, which is sensitive of you.\n\nAnyway, I guess it's possible, but not necessarily true. The reason I say this is, that sadly that happens a lot. Married couples, as they get older, don't show affection as much, because they feel like it's 'known' how they feel, and then they may seem to argue, because they're still trying to iron out their differences. \n\nSo you could be right, but not necessarily.
119699
It's unfortunate if you are put in a position where it is necessary to choose.  The only way to weigh the question would be to see which side is forcing the choice:  I would favor the side that is not pressuring.  If you love someone that your family disapproves of, try to honestly hear their reasons why they disapprove, and evaluate those reasons as objectively as you possibly can.  If a loved one is trying to draw you away from your family, listen carefully there, too:  does your lover have reasons for feeling your family is not good for you, or is it just selfishness?
813997
Only if the Family disagreed on something otherwise nope it wouldn't