i am gay and afraid to come out because of the reaction of my whole family how am i gonna come out???
349593
Many people who feel attracted to members of their own sex have a so-called coming out at some point in their lives. Generally, coming out is described in two phases. The first phase is the phase of "knowing oneself," and the realization or decision emerges that one is open to same-sex love. This is often described as an internal coming out. The second phase involves one's decision to come out to others, e.g. family, friends, and/or colleagues. This occurs with many people as early as age 11, but others do not clarify their sexual orientation until age 40 or older. Most have their coming out during school age, so sometime during the time of puberty. At this age, they may not trust or ask for help from others, especially when their orientation is not accepted in society. Sometimes their own parents are not even informed.This is a personal choice,and really the truth will set you free. Try to have some support before you tell them.I hope the links below will help you and maybe give you more information.Good luck to you,and be not afarid, this too shall pass,and remember you are not alone.
1001126
Do whatever makes you feel right, if you feel uncomfortable saying anything to your parents then don't, maybe your bi-sexual or you could just be going through a phase, there are a lot of sites that can give you any support or advice \nGLCC, PFLAG, GLBT, etc.. good luck
943923
You need to support your sister. She didnt ask to be gay. This is harder for her than it is for anybody else. I've had gay friends and sometimes they are so scared that their family and friends won't accept them. Your mother being on antidepressants for this has got to be killing your sister.
1005822
First of all you shouldn't be worried about what they think or anyone else for that matter. When you are nervous or scared it shows in your voice and body.\nNext you have to choose a setting, take them out or make dinner for them one night and just let them down gently, no matter what your sexuality your parents will love you no matter what.\n\nThe best way for you to tell them is " mom, dad, I am a homosexual." tell them not to say anything until they hear you out. and state your case let them know that you are happy and that you aren't willing to sacrafice that happiness so that they can be comfortable with you. Accept you the way you are.  trust me parents are more forgiving then the outside world.\nKrissee
1097356
There's a completely free, completely confidential hotline that you can call that can help you come out. You can speak with an adult or with a young person like yourself.\n\nhttp://www.glnh.org/index2.html\n\nTheir website also has links to organizations in your area.\n\nAll of the following links have really great resources for coming out. Don't just click the top one... click all of them and read all of the brochures, etc.\nhttp://www.pflag.org/Getting_Support-Coming_Out.coming_out.0.html\nhttp://www.outproud.org/brochure_coming_out.html\nhttp://www.hrc.org/Template.cfm?Section=Coming_Out\n\nAnd if the friends you have are really your friends, they'll be your friends even if they know you're gay or bi. Real friends like you no matter what.\n\nGood luck!
968309
well i guess you are a little young to be sure about your sexual preferences but whenever the time comes, tell your dad that you like girls alot, and wanna have wife and kids but at the same time you like guys too and that you are realy confused what to do and whats wrong with you etc etc..... and that you will have to make a choice forever wther to be gay or not....\nonce her hears this, he is gonna say 'you dont have to make a choice, there are people who like both' etc etc... coz he will be fearing you choosing to be gay.. \n\nworth a shot...
336308
Be honest with your family. If they love you they will come to accept your life choices. You have to be true to yourself and not live your life for other people.
138261
You cannot control how they will react.  I think coming out to relatives is overated, especially if you know they may not understand or get mad.  Why not just continue on with your love life and consider it none of their business?\n\nYou never have to lie about it, just don't offer the information.  When they ask you directly is the time to seriously consider telling them...
985282
Learn to take orders, and kill your family if that's what they want you to do.\n\nThe way things are floating up to the surface of the Washington cess pool, being gay might be a plus.
519116
oh sweetie it is sooooooo sad that people are judgemental...\n\ni'm not...i'm married to a wonderful man...but my brother is GAY...i'm proud of him...coming OUT isn't easy and as long as he is happy and healthy thats all i care about...\n\nmamma
928626
he is afraid, and well he should be, to come out fully. Leave it alone, don't bring it up, and certainly do not tell anyone else what he has said. He confided in you and it is a secret between you. He will find himself in time, but right now, if he is gay, he is very lonely, feels like the odd ball in a sea of people who are not gay. IT is NOT a nice feeling. IF it were to get out that he is gay, others will pick on him and make his life miserable. IT is a fact that suicide rates in Gay male teens is 5 times higher than the rest of teen males...a difficult time as it is, but being Gay make it much harder ... Good luck
570741
Sounds like you just did come out of the closet. By posting your question, you announced to the whole world that you're gay. :)
532192
This is really a decision only you can make, no matter how much advice you receive from all of us.\n\nHaving said that, this is a little of my story to help you out.\n\nI am from a very strict Catholic family, my father was a cop, my brother is a security guard and at the time I was working in Federal Government Security as well. Basically Law Enforcement down the line. All very strict, uptight and all that cr@p. Lots of derogatory talk about gays and lots of gay jokes all the time and all the while I was sinking further and further into my dark little closet.\n\nOn the outside I was this wonderful, cheery, jolly bloke, the life of every party - on the inside I just wanted to take my service revolver and blow my head off to stop the pain.\n\nI ended up "coming out" and do you know what happened? Nothing! Big anti-climax! The world didn't stop turning, I didn't get dis-owned, Mum gave me a hug and a kiss and told me she would always love me no matter what. Dad gave me a hug but had a tear in his eye, and my brother, who I thought would just punch my lights out, gave me the biggest hug and said I never thought you would have the balls to do it. When I asked him what he meant he told me that he had always known he just never said anything.\n\nIt is your decision to come out, only you know when, where, how and to whom first. Good luck and God Bless.
931166
I am not gay first off and the only reason why I am answering this question is because I am a mother who oldest daughter told me that she was gay,\nand I feel like I can tell you how I felt speaking from someone who is not really into that life style but have a child that I love with all my heart that is.....I hope what I say helps you to understand somewhat of how We the family feels at times (I am not speaking for all just myself for sure okay)\n\nAnyway, My daughter has always known how I feel about this life style, so she didn't want to tell me face to face, so she decided to tell me in a letter, when I first read it I had to read it over & over again because of course I thought it was a misprint or I was seeing things right? But it wasn't and I was reading it right, I was not mad like some people would think I was a little disappointed because of course there will not be a wedding, or the birth of grandchildren but, in saying all of that I love my baby girl no matter what, she decides to do with her adult life, it's not mines but, hers to do with as she please, but I do not have to be apart of it, and when I say that I mean I do not want her life style in my home, or durning holidays, things like that, I have two younger girls and I do not want it around them, because the way I feel is family needs a mother & father to complete it, this is how I feel period, but I will never turn my back on my child but, the life style I will not except around me...........I have nothing hatful to say or mean or nothing like that I just do not want it pushed apoun me inside my home is all, but she my daughter is always welcome to come over..................As I said I can not speak for all parents just myself and that is how I dealt with it, If she would have told me face to face I would have given her a big hug and kiss because she will always be the daughter I brought into this world and will love forever more.............................
906174
Oh, my...That's tough.  I knew I was queer when I was 11, though, didn't have language for it yet.  I came out when I was 17, but I have a pretty easy family.  If you think that your families are going to completely flip, be careful but get support outside your home.  Do everything you can to get reassurance that your love for each other is a good thing. It might be helpful to find a queer youth organization in your community so you can find others to talk with.  There are a lot of folks in similar situations.\n\nGood luck...And ignore the person who said you're not old enough to know if you're gay.  Homophobic baloney.  They never tell heterosexual teens that they're too young to know they're straight.  ;-)
761734
Coming out is like ripping off a band-aid. It is scary and it does hurt for a second....but then it's over and you wonder why you were so scared.\n\n\nJust remember to be patient with them....you've taken 3 years to get used to the idea and decide to tell folks. Don't expect them to be 100% perfect the minute you tell them.
835336
I think if it were me, I'd open a Word document and start writing. When I had it all down the way I wanted, I'd then hand-write a letter to my sisters.  \n\nYou say your oldest sister has always been nice to you, so she'll probably understand why you've been out of touch and how scary this is for you. Hopefully your other siblings will as well. \n\n\nI hope that you're getting some support from a group that is LGBT-friendly and a counselor who is familiar with the process of coming out.