I'm so bad at small talk, what do other people talk about?
343207
Ask lots of questions and take and show a true interest in the answers. Think of it as learning something from other's viewpoints! It can be about anything you want if you're asking the right questions. Is your future mom-in law a great cook? Ask her how she chooses vegetables at the market. Is she a great dancer? Ask her how she was introduced to music and if she thinks dancing is good for mental health, etc. Forget about what you have to say though, because talking to hear your own voice is NOT good communication, even in the small talk arena! The right and appropriate words will come to you when you listen! Just listen openly, and ask lots of question. You will be seen as very wise and kind in doing so and make a great impression. \n\nThe best conversationalist is the one who is the greatest listener. Very few words of your own are needed. :-) But in doing this, they'll want to know all about you! So you'll have your chance to talk --- but still focus mostly on listening...if you want to be a great small -- or big -- talker!
24200
Use very small words. :)
702443
Communicate!!!Don't be introvert =]
974860
I know exactly how you feel....\nYou know what's really bad though...Is those times you catch yourself doing that...\nI think in most cases it's not intended to be rude.  People just like to make conversation about anything and get so caught up in something they've been wanting to say they forget about being rude.\nAnd in some cases people might change the subject because they can't handle the one that's being discussed....\nYou're right, sometimes it is funny...\nWith your really good friends, you ever notice that sometimes you can have two or three conversations going at once.....and everyone knows what everyone else is talking about...Never missing a beat.. That's hecka cool.\nIt's only the ones who want all the attention on themselves you've got to watch out for...\nGoodaytoyou...\nAnd maybe you should thing about becoming a play-writer! !
757942
Practice! Practice LISTENING to people and really hearing what they say. Seem very interested. Most people really want to talk, so be a wonderful listener.
451758
PAy attention to what people are saying and show interest, so the conversation can flow. Ask questions, comment, make eye contact, and know what ur talking about. Don't fake like u know about something when u don't. NOBODY likes a liar!!! Be CONFIDENT
927977
I have the same problem, but I try to limit talking to anyone online though because thats just me. I know a lot of people tell me once you get out of high school you "break out of that shell". \n\nI am going to get a job which requires customer service and social skills though, I think if I know I have to, I'll be able to build the skill of talking a lot.\n\nIf you mumble, or stutter, or stumble on the words when you talk to people just think before you say something because I know when I try to say something really fast and then I forget I always stumble on the words lol.\n\nHope this helps :)
1127757
If you can, have a party. Invite the people you know and like to bring friends. If you have people over on a fairly regular basis they will start to bring more friends over. Plus you can use your duties as host to get over some of your shyness...asking if people want another drink, etc. is a good excuse to strike up a conversation with someone you don't know very well. \n\nIf you don't have enough space to have people over you might consider picking a bar or restaurant that you like and try going once a week for a while. Eventually you will become recognizable and you might be able to strike it up with some of the bartenders/waiters or other regulars. If it's a bar the alcohol is a great social lubricant and helps everyone overcome shyness. Just don't over do it. If your into sports that is always a topic strangers can talk about.
854704
That Dale Carnegie book is great, give it a shot.\n\nYou're unable to hold conversations because you're not really interested in what the other person is saying. This takes practice because humans are self-centered in general. I've learned a lot by practicing the techniques in that Carnegie book. I used to think that people were boring, but i was just arrogant and wanted to dominate the conversation too much. Now I just shut up, listen, and learn. As a result, I've become a little bit wiser than yesterday.
71198
Talking is probably the largest factor I can think of. \n\nTo keep the other person interested in a conversation don't talk about yourself too much. Ask questions to get to know the person better, talk about any interests you have, classes, guys/girls, parents, etc. Becoming genuinely interested in the other person.\n\nA somewhat easy way to get a conversation started is to make a short complaint about something that you know the other person doesn't like. Generally the other person will complain too and you'll have you're conversation. You have to be Very careful not to do this often because you don't want the other person to think you're a whiner.\n\nThere are lots of other ways to start a conversation as well and college is a great place for it. Keeping yourself informed on current events, staying involved in activities, and keeping a mental list of good topics of discussion are excellent ways to break the ice. Ask simple, friendly questions about the person. \n\nAlso remember that body language is very important! Most people don’t even realize it but most times you’ll already have made a lot of decisions about the person by their body language and tone, before you’re more than a minute into a conversation. You want to be cool, calm, and collected; act like the person is an old friend, even if you’ve never talked to them before, and make sure to look them in the eye. Instead of focusing on how uncomfortable you feel, prepare yourself by thinking of the issues that interest you most and what you would like to discuss about a particular subject. A little preparation can go a long way.\n\nPay Attention to what the other person says! This one is Extremely useful as you can bring it up at a later time and the other person will be surprised and pleased that you remembered.\n\nContinue to speak to everyone you know regularly. If you are walking and see someone you haven’t talked to in a while, stop for a moment and talk to them. It does not have to be a long conversation, just say hello, see how they are doing and if anything is wrong. You would be surprised by how little effort is required to win the friendship of others when you require nothing of them.\n\nBe nice and generally try to end the conversation on a good note. You don't have to make sure the other person has a great time Every Single conversation, but you don't want to think of all the petty arguements they've had with you.\n\nArguements... Don't. There are Very Few 'good' arguements. "The only way to get the berst of an arguement is to avoid it."\nIf you're wrong, admit it.\n\nDO NOT critize the person, or a friend, when talking to the person. If you want to point out something they did wrong, try to point out something similar you did wrong.\n\nSmile! Not a forced smile, the person you're talking to will be able to tell the difference. And you don't have to be an overly happy hyper-active person. Just smile naturally and, if you can, be somewhat happy. Remembering good times with your friends/family can help.\n\nLet the other person do a lot of the talking and be a good listener. (Somewhat stated in my first advice, ask questions, talk about interests the other person has. Answer questions sincerly.)\n\nHonestly make the person you're talking to feel important. You don't want to fake this one or do it too often, but if you honestly think they did something well, give them that praise.\n\nIf you want more advice, there are a couple good books that Will actually help. How to Win Friends and Influence People, is probably one of the best ones. It's an old book, but trust me, it's just as useful today as it was when it was written.
28500
Talking is probably the largest factor I can think of.\n\nTo keep the other person interested in a conversation don't talk about yourself too much. Ask questions to get to know the person better, talk about any interests you have, classes, guys/girls, parents, etc. Becoming genuinely interested in the other person.\n\nA somewhat easy way to get a conversation started is to make a short complaint about something that you know the other person doesn't like. Generally the other person will complain too and you'll have you're conversation. You have to be Very careful not to do this often because you don't want the other person to think you're a whiner.\n\nPay Attention to what the other person says! This one is Extremely useful as you can bring it up at a later time and the other person will be surprised and pleased that you remembered.\n\nContinue to speak to everyone you know regularly. If you are walking and see someone you haven’t talked to in a while, stop for a moment and talk to them. It does not have to be a long conversation, just say hello, see how they are doing and if anything is wrong. You would be surprised by how little effort is required to win the friendship of others when you require nothing of them.\n\nBe nice and generally try to end the conversation on a good note. You don't have to make sure the other person has a great time Every Single conversation, but you don't want to think of all the petty arguements they've had with you.\n\nArguements... Don't. There are VERY few 'good' arguements. "The only way to get the berst of an arguement is to avoid it."\nIf you're wrong, admit it.\n\nDO NOT critize the person, or a friend, when talking to the person. If you want to point out something they did wrong, try to point out something similar you did wrong.\n\nSmile! Not a forced smile, the person you're talking to will be able to tell the difference. And you don't have to be an overly happy hyper-active person. Just smile naturally and, if you can, be somewhat happy. Remembering good times with your friends/family can help.\n\nLet the other person do a lot of the talking and be a good listener. (Somewhat stated in my first advice, ask questions, talk about interests the other person has. Answer questions sincerly.)\n\nHonestly make the person you're talking to feel important. You don't want to fake this one or do it too often, but if you honestly think they did something well, give them that praise.\n\nIf you want more advice, there are a couple good books that Will actually help. How to Win Friends and Influence People, is probably one of the best ones. It's an old book, but trust me, it's just as useful today as it was when it was written.
392991
Many times a person who needs to be loud in conversation or the "Know-it-all" type, or the type that seems to not allow others to talk...is a person who is insecure and feels very low about themselves.  Their loud boisterous opinions and lack of being able to let others in on the conversation says that that person needs extra attention and has very poor communication skills.  Trying to tell them to "shut up" is NOT going to get the point across.  As a matter of fact...it might worsen the objective.  Perhaps if you make copy of this answer with your question and quietly and in private present it to this person...you may get somewhere.  Start with a "Hey...(his name)...can I please talk to you for a moment in private.  Then take him aside and let him know that you appreciate his input on things...however.."I'd like to let you know that there are people who have some input into the many conversations we have...as we have listened to you...perhaps you would be fair to listen to what some of us have to say."  "And by the way...eating/chewing with your mouth open or full is socially unacceptable...perhaps you didn't realize you were doing this...and as a friend, I thought I might let you know.  \nTwo wrongs never made a right...instead it makes a war.  So treat his rudeness with corrective/non-judgemental kindness and see if a greater response comes from your directives.  Thanks for caring enough to make a positive difference in the lives of others.
48624
what do you want to talk about? angelcakesnokio@yahoo.com
503463
I dont know how old you are but i went through a phase of not having a lot to say i was happy to just listen.\n\nMy parents interpreted this as me being rude or a sulky teen. But i felt that where i didnt have anything particularily constructive to say or add to a discussion, there was no point.\n\nJust be yourself when you are comfortable enough and confident then talk if not, just enjoy life as you please.\n\nAt the end of the day it its your life. You are NOT boring you are a thoughtful individual with your own ideas.
92248
Learn to talk to people.  I think many people are painfully shy when it comes to talking to all but their closest friends.  I think that shyness stems from a lack of confidence and the idea that no one wants to look foolish in the eyes of others.\n\nYou must realize that everyone has the same concerns, even if it seems that they don't.  When you are in a group of people, pick out someone who also seems to be in the same boat as you, and start a conversation.  Share your interests and you will be amazed at how quickly you will make friends.  \n\nBest wishes.
163267
I have that same problem.Just don't thick about something to say.Just relax and before you know it you will find yourself in a great conversation,unless he's quiet.Quiet people are really hard to talk to.Maybe you should go out for a drink.People loosen up when they drink.
937481
Practice strike up a conversation with girls you do not know but are not necessarily the most attractive to you. Watch them stumble that will help you released you are not alone, help them when they stumble this will help you gain confidence for your own game.\n\n Good luck man remember pretty women have the same problem as you, sometimes both sides are equally interested but both players are bad at the game and personal insecurities make each party feel that they are at fault and the conversation fizzles.\n\n Avoid these phrases at all cost:\n  Nice day today.\n  Man this place is busy\n Have you been hear before?\n  Are you here with friends\n   *** The problem with any conversation starter like the above is it is easily answered with one word. Give her something to work with.  It is way too hard to recover from a Yes and No conversation its mechanical, no way to find common interests.