How does a wife deal with her husbands porno addiction?
342003
Hi, \n\nIt probably sounds a lot worse than it is, I am guessing you are nearing your 40s or around that age? (sorry!!)\n\nI would think your husband is going through the male menopause where he is questioning his life and if he is really satisfied, these "women" obviously make him feel young again.\n\nIf I were you I would show him he has a loving wife who will be there for him whereas the girls are just a figment of his imagination, \n\nThanks, \nAnd best of luck!!
668184
shut the hot water off when your not using it\nempty the frig...now food no mother in law..\nshut of the cable TV..put up the old rabbit ears with two stations for her to watch...\naccidentally put bleach in some of her clothes when in the wash..oops..sorry...\nget back up late at night and have loud music and dance...and wake her up...then when she gets up..shut the lights off and go back to bed..\nand when she asks whats wrong ..say with a smile..why nothing what ever gives you that idea..\nor you could do most of thees without your partner even knowing it is being done..and then when she complains to him/her..say I do not know what she is talking about...then put salt in her coffee..\nSMILE
1161093
first of all if that question was in response to my previous question FUCK OFF!! you people go on here for advice, not to hear some dumbass put us down and make us feel stupid. I am not spying on my husband. porn is wrong it is the most dirtiest thing in this world and if you like watching hey thats your business but i will not allow it in my home and i wanted to know how to make it to were he can't look it up. my kids go on the computer.
576187
Sounds like a GREAT GUY! I've never seen porn but I have seen the effects it has on marriages, families and relationships. Porn is a disease that effect the mind..maybe your husband understands that and does NOT want to become a pervert..like some have
126015
first of all, you need to seek professional help for your porn addiction. seriously, that is a major problem. if you have fantasies, tell your husband. he sounds more than willing to help you act those out. if that doesn't help go see a sex therapist. they can give you great suggestions.
670987
I agree with 'leadbelly'....the real issue here is the sending of porn... funny Internet pics, jokes, stories.. are one thing but sending actual porn...that's another...addiction to pornography is a real problem...it hinders peoples ability to enjoy the real thing...contrary to 'jessica rabbit''s comment...when porn addiction is present you CAN'T meet the fantasy no matter what you do..it's not good enough..(do your research next time) \n   Do some research into porn addiction and see if your man fits any of the other 'symptoms'...you may already know the answer..and if he does try to get help because it will destroy a relationship
33677
Wow that is a tough situation to be and I know several in that same boat. Whether it is alcohol or pot or other illegal substances, the decision is only his to stop. The thing to do for yourself, assuming you are not using,is to go to get counseling see if your spouse is willing, though I have heard they very seldom tell the truth about what they do or especially how much. If it is hurting your relationship then maybe it is time to communicate this to him. I wish I could offer more. I feel for you. Good luck
1108969
i dont think it is the porn that you are upset about, i think that it is the fact that he kept it from you. Explain to him that he doesnt need to keep anything from you no matter what it is. You will support him and stick by him that is why you married him.
1011529
Some good ansers in here- some not so good. Here's my advice- (I had an addiction so bad that I would spend 5-6 hours a day downloading porn and acting out). \n\nBTW- Anyone who thinks they can answer this question in one message has never overcome a porn addiction. \n\nI want to introduce you to the idea of 1st order changes and 2nd order changes (yes psycobabble, but it's good).\n\n1st order canges are like bailing water out of the leaking boat, 2nd order changes are like plugging the hole. \n\nWith porn addiction some examples of 1st order changes are: Adding a porn filter or getting rid of the internet, not visiting adult bookstores, etc. \n\n2nd order changes involve getting real about why you are attracted to porn, addressing the issues in your life that make you vulnerable to the addiction, building relationships with people, learning how to view women (or men) as people and not sex objects, etc. \n\nIf you try to control a porn addiction by only addressing the 1st order changes- you will spend the rest of your life bailing water out of the boat and sometimes you will get tired and slip and then you will beat yourself up for not reaching your goal- then you will try to block out the guilty feelings and guess what- porn works great as a sedataive for your feelings (makes you numb). \n\nHowever, you cannot really get to the leak at the bottom of the boat until you start bailing out water. You have to start working hard on the first order changes- and then you can start to change the problems at the core. (You can't really learn to appreciate women in a new way if you are still feeding your brain lies about sex and women.) \n\nMy experience suggests that most people take a stab at some 1st order changes- get a few days or weeks of abstenance, and then go about business as usual and soon find themselves back in the trap.  \n\nMy advice is that there is no quick fix to this problem, you can't buy a software program and make your trouble go away. You need to get ready for a long term battle, a battle that will take you into new territory- but a battle that will help you become someone so much more than you can currently imagine. \n\nGet help from some people with experience- There are some great groups out there dedicated to this. There is power in getting help from people who have been there before. I was afraid of group therapy but I finally decided that going it alone wasn't working. I learned so much from people who had overcome it. Also- I suggest you find a thearpyst (someone who has lots of experience with porn addiction- not some generalist who doesn't understand it).\n\nGood luck- you can overcome- it takes hard work. God Bless!
572623
Yeah, just sit back and watch your spouse have an affair, have one yourself, or try doing porn, see how fast an outsider dissolves your marriage.\nIf the two hearts aren't married, then be on alert, anyone with 1/2 a reason can do it.
391236
Just tell him one more time that you r not comfortable with this porn addiction thing... if he doesn't listen or talk  about it... i guess you might wanna consider giving a warning of splitting up...\n\nbut in the same time offer him help & support if he shows the intention of quitting , cause as u said it's an addiction... it's not so easy to quit u know
1000512
Give him the option to get help for his addiction and return home, or file for divorce.  He will continue to treat you like crap if you let him.  good luck!
312527
Simple Question. Its all with Modesty.\nPeople hide it, others protray it. Its human nature to be embrassed when they know what they are doing is wrong and they are still doing it.\n\nOk,If someones come and see you naked.how do you feel? embarrassed rite? excatly!!! Men do not like woman to see them watching porn. Why? Firstly what they are watching is illegal,2ndly its protraying the opposite sex and woman and woman would see it as a outrage of modesty to themselves. Men would feel embarrassed to let a woman know that. Watching Porn is like watching someone making you horny. your wife will feel inferior to feel that you need to go to other ways to endulge in sexual pleasure. That she will realise she cannot do for you as you already misstreat her trust.\n\nMen Watch Porn is normal. But its all in by human nature.we hide our modesty for a reason.Thats why people have to hide it. Its only human instincts.
317211
First you have to make sure it's an addiction. Can he stop it if he wanted to? Does it take over his life? Does he get the shakes if he doesn't do it?\n\nThere are addictions...and then there are hobbies. Maybe your husband just genuinely enjoys the challenge of finding things and getting them at E-Bay.\n\nHowever, if it's affecting your relationship then you should bring up the issue with him in a reasonable manner.\n\nIf that does not work withhold sex. He will get the message.
889300
Just do it....Your husband is one of the maucho guys that wants to be the pursuer and is turned off by the female that is the aggressor in the equation of marital bliss.  \n\nIf I were you----I would do the tease thing---the sexy lingerie flaunt it in his face routine and then give him the turn down treatment when he WANTS what he WANTS!-----  Let him see how it feels to be rejected for advancements.  \n\nYou should really communicate what you want in your marriage relationship----Open up to your spouse and tell him of your sexual frustrations---"IT LIKE HELLO---MCFLY are you home"\n\nPleasuring yourself is healthy don't feel guilty about it....It's a great stress release ----Maybe you should watch an X rated movie when he's not home and just get the feel of yourself.  Sometimes those kinds of movies are necessary to stimulate the brain!
35124
Get everything on video and camera. I am starting to forget things so I go back and look at my videos and pictures.We sit in the family room and look at them and have memorable moments. Your husband just doesn't want the hassle like mine.
1041908
Sweetie, you can't get "addicted" to porn. You CAN become obsessed with it, though.\n\nRealize someone who can't resist living in a sexual fantasy world is VERY hard to please.\n\nTell him he should get rid of his porn or let you install a porn blocker on his computer. Tell him to decide what he wants- a fantasy or a real partner then stick by your word. Leave him if you find anymore evidence.