my wife and i have a mutual friend thats female.she flirts with both of us.does threesomes destroy marrigies?
344397
Ok, in my opinion the answers that you have gotten thus far are really cliché! This is coming from someone who has been there, done that, and my fiancé and I are still happily engaged.\n First, let me say that threesomes ARE risky. NEVER try to use a threesome to fix anything wrong in a relationship. If there you are already having issue, it will just amplify it!\n However, it does not sound like that is the case in your relationship. It sounds, from what little you wrote, that you have a healthy relationship and this other woman is putting these thoughts into your head. \n Here is what I would advise. First, find out if your wife is interested. Bring it up when you have not seen your friend in a day or two, and do NOT mention the friend. The reason is that if you do mention the other woman, and your wife does not want to do it, she will never trust you or her friend again, regardless of your intentions. \n Now, if she is interested, the next thing that you need to say to her is that it is an interesting idea, kind of a turn on, but you don't think you could actually go through with it. This may not be 100% the truth, but the fact is if you seem eager then she is going to react very negatively. Let her lead the way. If she is interested, once you have broached the subject, it will come up again. Try to avoid suggesting the friend, let your wife do so. Basically, you want this to all be her idea. The reason is that when it is done she is more likely then you to have issues with it, and if she feels that it was her idea then she probably won't. If she feels that you in any way pushed her into it, however, and there are any regrets, they will lead to resentment, gutanteed!\n Next, if you do decide to do this, set boundaries. Talk about what you are both comfortable with. If you cannot talk about this in detail without arguing, then don't do the deed!!\n In the heat of the moment, make sure you stick to the boundaries. You can always discuss them afterwards, and relax them in any future encounters.\n Finally, try to make the experience as enjoyable as possible for your wife. If you and the other woman both concentrate primarily on your wife's pleasure, she is much more likely to enjoy the experience, and you are much more likely to have a repeat.\n Good luck!!
794720
Yes and no, it depends on your wives feelings. If she doesnt like it and you continue to do it even though it hurts her alot then its not right. If she doesnt mind and is comfertable with letting you have female companions then its okay. Its honestly up to her.  If you value her feelings then you will do what makes her happy, just like she should do the same thing for you. What you need to do is ask yourself why you want female companionship. If you notice any of your motives might be disloyal then its not alright.
522118
You are asking for trouble. You will betray your wife, and even if she doesn't find out (which she probably will) your relationship will never be the same. A lot of girls flirt with married men (sometimes because it is easy because they are unavailable), so if she is just flirting you may also lose a nice friendship with your neighbor. Either way, she doesn't have anything to lose, and you have everything to lose. You could end up having both women throwing you out on your ear - and you would deserve it. You would be a lot better off not flirting back and not spending time alone with her.
1052838
yes ive been there and yes u can have fuk buddies in the long run it will eat at u that u cheated or she will find out belive me she will is this fuk buddie worth your marrige ??????
183892
first off, thats not polygamy. And unless everything is on the table its not polyamory. What you are doing is cheating unless you have permission from your wife. If you don't have her blessing? You're an idiot playing with dynomite
358676
If she is bi-sexual . . . she perfers both.\n\nAs for cheating . . . depends on your point of view.  If they are into 3-somes (which you shouldn't have if you are in a committed relationship) . . . this could happen . . . \n\nSince they had 3-somes . . . they are familiar with the third wheel . . . and as most 3-somes start . . . if it 2 women and 1 man . . . the 2 girls start off and the man joins them.  In woman's mind . . . since she already done it . . he wouldn't mind if she continues without him.  This will cause jealously in the relationship because the man is left out.  Thing is this could happen the other way around.\n\nThere have been cases where the woman slept with the 3rd wheel without her mate and visa versa where the man slept with the 3rd wheel without his mate.  In most cases, with friends who done that . . . they end up breaking up or divorced.
526581
Although it is possible to love two or more people at the same time, I do not believe that this is the case.  I think that the romance has gone out of your marriage and you find it easier to be romantic with another woman than to rekindle the romance in you marriage.\n\nFor a married man to have a romantic relationship with another woman is folly.  It is thinking with the "little head."  Either divorce your wife to pursue another woman, or go to counseling with your wife to correct your martial problems.  Do one or the other before someone gets hurt.
36047
If you love your wife the way you should, you wouldn't want this. Why would you want to make love with another woman or watch you wife make love to another woman. I asked my husband whats your ultimate fantasy, I expected it to be this and when he told me what it was I questioned him on why it wasnt this threesome thing... he said I love you and you are mine I want no one else and I want no one else to have or experience you, why would I want to see anyone else with you in that way loving you the way I do." These were his exact words. He is a great Man and only a man could feel that way. I think you need to grow up there are other ways to put a spark in your marriage than to bring in another woman or man. As for me, I will fulfill the fantasy he asked for and thank my God above that it wasnt one like this.
820814
You are playing with fire! The only way a threesome works is if no one has feelings for anyone else involved. Jealousy always ruins it and most couples break-up.
828361
I don't think a threesome is too good for a young relationship if it is one. If it's a strong relationship then do what makes you happy. I'm don't think you'll be happy afterwards though with another man having his way with your girl niether will she be happy with you banging another girl. So if you love her I would suggest you don't.
500959
I agree with Gill Billy. I've been married for the best part of 14 yrs and looking is a part of life. There is NO way I would ever cheat on my wife however we can walk down the street and have a bit of fun looking. I have had, in the past, invitations to play around and have always enjoyed flirting but never gone any further than that. I love my wife. Would never do anything to jeapordise what we have. I believe its great fun and so does she. Its just something thats a natural part of life to look around...but its personal choice to do or not do anything about it. Maybe I'm just lucky......I dont know. Good luck mate
568895
HI ,\n I THINK U ARE RISKING THREE LIVES AT A TIME...\nACCORDING TO ME DO NOT INTERFERE IN UR FRIEND'S MARRIED LIFE\n  GO GET A NEW PARTNER... NOTHING IS PERMANENT IN THIS WORLD\nHAVE FUN
538569
I'm great friends with my first girlfriend.  My wife was a little bit intimidated by her when they first met (and I deliberately kept a distance because of that) but now they get along great, and I can call her, go see her, etc., without causing any problems.\n\nOf course, if our relationship had been sexual, that might have made a difference in my wife being able to trust me with her.
569677
I wouldn't mind unless she involves you in their outings. If it's just for a hour or so I suppose it's okay, but more than that I would grow suspicious why they are spending much time together than with you.  Now, if it's a mixed crowd and most have good morals and if she's not the flirty type, then it's okay.  I'll be honest, when I'm single, I get much hotter than when I'm with someone.  If you are married, the possibility for variety can come to mind and it can be dangereous if her friend decides to make a pass.  The trust between two friends can be as strong as the love you have for each other.  I believe friends works best and can grow deep.  Not too be doubtful, just keep your eye out. I know because when I get the strange feeling in my stomach when I feel threatened, that's a signed that something is not right or that I'm being disrespected.  Talk to her about it and see if you can come along. \n\nYou will be the best judge if something is going on or not.  Trust to a limit, then you question... Boundaries can be broken so make sure she doesn't break them, that's why she's married to you.  Right? Hopefully for the right reasons.  \n\nPersonally, I enjoy being with my boyfriend.  I get along better with men but there are limits to how much I let them know because it's easy to flirt with guy friends.  Guy friends can let things happen and not worry about it because they know the other person is taken... It's a risk and a thrill for the women, but it's a BIG, BIG, NO, NO.  Not while you are married and devoted to someone.  I suggest to both of you go out, change your looks, and be the couple that can be lover, friend, and wife.  Spice up your life so she doesn't run off to get that kind of "attention"?... who knows. \n\nI'm a women and I've been single.  Now that I'm dating my boyfriend, he still wants to keep the single life active with some gals in a book club he met when he was single... I spoke to him and he decided to ended... I now have to trust him and it will be up to him to do the right thing.  \n\nSummarizing, if your wife invites you because she wants to, then go... keep her in your sight.\n\nGood luck sweatheart!
52168
I'd have to first question the motives of my wife.  Why exactly does she want me to sleep with another person?  If it's for some sort of sexual gratification on her part, then I would perhaps consider it.  I seriously doubt that I would actually proceed with it though.
460034
I personally have not had a threesome, but I know a couple...get this...They met because the husband was the "third" in the threesome with a couple. The wife left her ex for this guy the "third". So then, the new husband wanted to have a threesome with his wife and yet another guy. And she, again, left the second husband for the next guy. ICK!
343257
It really depends on the terms of the man's relationship with his wife.  I know a couple who are happily married but they have sex with other people (separately, not like a three-some).  Each knows that the other has multiple partners but that is the terms of their relationship and they're ok with that.  So, if this was previously discussed by the couple and the wife is ok with it, then no, it is not cheating.  However, if this is not agreeable within the terms of their relationship, then it would be cheating.  \n\nThe best thing for the couple to do would be to sit down and discuss this.  They may need a moderator, such as a couples counselor, or they may not.  But it needs to be resolved otherwise the guy will be miserable and the longer it goes on the more hurt the wife will be.  People need to be free to express themselves sexually and being bi-sexual is something that he sould have brought to her attention before they were married.  Now they've got to work it out.  \n\nIf this is a real situation that you know of, give my best to the couple and wish them luck for me.\n\nFR