i just had twin boys in dec. thier dad left me when i was pregnant. should i still be with him????
353654
In all honesty, I hope that for the sake of the kids, you make the right decision. Being that you have two of his off spring, your decision will be one that will not only affect you, but him too, and most of all it will affect the two boys when they get older, but also at the same time as a mother your first order of conduct is to protect your children regardless of whether he wants to be with you or not, in addition, if he loved you that bad to tell you that you should of stopped him, then he should of never left in the first place.\n\nAlso being the fact that he has children from another woman and is married to her, then I can honestly tell you that she will probally be the one to keep him and until he leaves her you will have a major problem getting any kind of support from him to help with the raising of the two boys.\n\nIf I were you I would forget about getting with him, regardless if you love him or not, as I said earlier, your first responisibilty is your two boys, for their sake and for yours too, you should file for sole custody of the two boys and also file with your county for child support, in addition to that you should find yourself another man, one who will accept your children and you too, there are plenty of men who can not have children and are always looking for females that have kids already.\n\nI hope and wish you the best of luck in this matter, and if you would like I would like to stay in touch with you to give you moral support, in addition to that I can also give you my friendship, and see where it goes from there.\n\nplease email me back and let me know how things are going for you from time to time.\n\nrichardaguilar402@yahoo.com\n\nGood luck and Congradulations on your two boys.....
924533
NO WAY!  He's a dad and he likes being a dad and if he's never spoken to you, then the feeling is not mutual.\n\nMove on.  Find somebody who's looking for the same as you are.\n\nYou're way out of order.
905225
Wait until both of you finish school. You don't want him to end up just being your baby's daddy, do you?
907184
NO!!!! you should not move in with your boyfriend!!! you should not date the other boy. please listen to what i am saying! if you havent told your parents you are pregnant you need to. you also are going to need thier help later on in your pregnancy, so STAY AT HOME!!!!!!!! the best thing you can do for you and your baby is to finish school. FINISH SCHOOL!!!! you did an adult act and now you are in an adult situation. act like an adult. you are bringing a life into the world, and you are its mother. you dont have time right now for boyfriends. tell your parents, dont leave home right now, and please finish school!!!!!!
713486
Excellent question.  It is hard for him to let someone else take an active role in his kids lives,  that's just how it is so tread carefully. You really have to be a selfless woman (and if you have a brother who is single and just like you, send him my way please !) You have to think about how you see yourself in the future. Do you want kids of your own? If so, stick with him, you all will be fine, but your relationship needs to be built on solid things like marriage in the future, you definitely being a mom to those little darlings and wether or not you have both really found yourselves. I wish you the best but the worst thing you can do to a single parent is lead them on. I think that if you broke it off like, NOW, he would still understand. Oh  and dealing with the mama drama is only what you make it, if you show respect you'll get a degree of respect and it wont just be from her but him also.\nTread carefully.
307695
Your late husband will ALWAYS know what is going on with you and his boys.  He still loves you, and wants you all to be happy.  If (and when) you meet another man, know that he understands.  He is gone, but you still have a life to continue with.  I can not say I know how you feel.  If I lost my husband, I would have a VERY hard time going on without him.  You have 2 sons to live for and help thru this awful time.  God love you all.
250691
I would stay clear of him for a looong time.  Clearly, he has some growing up to do.  You are WAY too young to be involved with someone like that.  And if he's not stepping up and being a man by supporting his baby, don't think twice that he wouldn't do the same to YOU.
332963
well honey i been in a similiar situation and i pulled through baby u dont need a man to take care of u and your kids never let a man pull u down show him u better than he is just leave him out and im sure u got family to help u with the kids until you get back on your feet dont let that bastard put u down
199713
As Tupac said" men have no right to tell a women when and were to create one". BF's come and go but that baby will be with you for the rest of your life don't make the child suffer for the decision he wants to make. It sound like you would be a great mom because that means you have already thought about leaving that sorry man. Cause if he knew he wasn't ready for kids he should have kept his stuff in his pants. It's all on you but let me tell you I lost my second child I don't know if his father thinks about him but i do and it happened 3 yrs ago and hurts every time i see a baby boy. MY Friend had an abortion and she regrets it and is now trying to have a baby but she doesn't know that no other baby is going to fill that void
250237
Why is it a hard decision to make? Is it because you do not know which one is the right man for you, or is it because you are worried about your kid?\n\n\nIf you are worried about what is best for your kid, ask yourself this: Is there any reason that the guy you are dating wouldn't make a good second father? Something must have gone wrong with your child's father or else it seems like there wouldn't be another man in the picture to start with. If you have moved on, don't go back. That will always just be another extra tension in the relationship and it will not be good for any of you. Your child would be better off having 2 separate happy parents than 2 parents pretending.\n\n\n\nIf your kid is not the reason you aren't sure, then ask yourself this: Are either of these guys the right man for you? I have been stuck between a couple of guys before. I thought that I was truly in love with them and it tore me up every day to know that some day I would have to pick one. But after it was over, I realized something. I wasn't really in love with either of them. They had qualities that I loved, and they were both great men. But neither of them was quite right for me. When you find the right guy, the answer to your question should be obvious.\n\n\n\nTry this. Think hard about both guys. Take away any fears of "what if" you make the wrong choice or of your kids, friends, and family not approving. Now, ask yourself ... Are you and your child safe with both men? Are they emotionally supportive and loving toward both of you? And which one will make you feel the best about yourself?
203470
Hunnie things happen in life for a reason. It is up to you how you will deal with these things and move forward in your life. No one can tell you if you should keep your baby or not. That is you and the fathers decision. Just think of all that comes with the situation good and bad. Listen to your heart and make the best decision for you. If you would like to talk more you can IM me or email me. Take care and good luck sweetie
245864
YES IT IS OK YOU ARE NOT IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH HIM, AND YOU HAVE A RIGHT TO BE HAPPY. JUST BECAUSE YOU HAVE A BABY FROM SOMEONE DOES NOT MEAN THAT YOU HAVE TO STAY WITH HIM. JUST MAKE SURE THAT THE PERSON WHOM DECIDE TO DATE IS LOVING AND CARING TO YOU AND YOUR CHILD.
332464
Honey, it's a tough situation all the way around. You both need to find a way to sit the kids down together and have a full blown disscussion. The kids are going to need reassurances from both of you that you both will still be active in their lives and that what is going on is not their fault. Both of you as parents need to make sure that both kids know that they can count on you and come to you whenever they need to. If it were me,as a mom of 3, I would put aside whatever has caused the seperation and call a meeting with my kids and my husband and do exactly as I said above.
771974
You not only did the right thing for your son, but you did it for yourself also. Dont worry, just be strong. I've been thru the break up make up over and over for 4 years, and have finally left for good about a month ago. I also have a child with this person... but I know I have to just worry about me and my daughter now. The worst thing to do is to give in when you are emotional like this and find yourself back in the same situation... possibly with one more child. So stay strong and take care of you, and stick close to family and friends for support if you are fortunate enough. Good Luck mama
964744
Be on your side thats all that matters. I haven't had a father for 27 years and I am 27. My mom made the smart choice and got out. My sperm donor is a raging alcoholic and hasn't changed to this day. So I can say I am better off that might make me sound bad but I can honestly say my life has been better without him.
759055
Sorry about your stepfather, I guess now that he has passed you feel you still need someone...its only natural that you are now curious and would want to seek your biological dadand your sister...you need to realise though that it may not be easy, it may not turn out as you wish it to be and need to prepare your self for it.....I think its a good idea as long as your prepared to face what lays ahead, you need to see it in a way that "oh well i have nothing to loose" attitude and take it from there...I wish you good luck and I hope things work out for you.
401309
Let him go.  YOu don't need someone like that in your life.  You need a man who will help you out and cheer you up not bring you down.  You can do better for yourself and your child.