Is my husband alcoholic?
338301
Yes, It does sound as if he is. Ask him if he thinks he is an alcoholic. There's nothing wrong with being an alcoholic, but it can be a very big problem. Especially when stress gets high or serious problems come into our lives.\n\nI am an alcoholic. And it is easy for me to go a few weeks without any drinks. So I don't think your test of, "honey please go without drinking for a few weeks", will work. \nThe worst problem an alcoholic can have ignorance. That's why the first step to recovery is to admit it.\nWhat he should do, after recognizing that he has a problem, is learn to pace himself. Learn to abide by a set limit, but don't throw the limit out after breaking it a time or three. He needs to decide when, when not, where, where not and with whom he drinks. \nThe hardest part of quiting, if that is what he decides to do, is to quit your drinking friends. This is as hard as any lifestyle change and probably the reason most people feel that they can't quit. \n\nThe other problem is you. You put up with his abuse of alcohol. You stay with him. You are not overreacting, you have a life and expectations also. If he isn't meeting those, discuss it with him or leave him. Think of it this way, it's as hard for him to quit drinking as it is for you to quit him. Some times it seems like it could be easy, others not so but only when doing it will you know for sure how much better life can be.\nGood luck.
113933
I think you should support him as far as the stopped drinking part, but also let him know as long as he has contact with the other woman that there is not a chance in he$$ that you will ever commit to him or trust him again.  It takes two to make a marriage work not one and although he has made a few changes he has not yet made the most important one of completly cutting all ties with this other woman.
924247
Deja Vu!?!?!?\nMy dh suffers from depression, (yet refuses to take  meds the doctor prescribed), and alcoholism runs (more like gallops) in his family, but still he denies HE has a problem.   \n\nHe decided after many good ears, that he just wanted out!  No reason,.....  he refused to attend counselling, and "marriage counselling" takes both partners attending.\n\nKids and I  let him know he was loved, valuable and that we all wanted him to stay.  He just refused to take meds, got into hiding his drinking, and had an affair and moved out.\n\nI learned the hard way, but any 12-step program (AA, etc) will tell you  that the first step is for the person  to admit  that he/she has a problem.  Until they admit  that, and decide that they WANT to change,.....  there is no-one that can MAKE them change.\n\nYour wife seems to be just as confused.  She's got to decide what  she wants first.  Then, and only then, can you guys try to fix it up.\n\nFor the sake of your kids and the marriage, I hope she gets medical supervision for the depression and gets off the booze.  Booze and depression are a BAD combination.
718260
Addictions do not just go away.  If your husband refuses to admit that he has an addiction and needs help, he will never change.\n\nI highly suggest that you move out and start considering a formal separation.  If he refuses to listen when you do this, then face reality and look into a divorce.\n\nYou should not have to put up with his problem if he refuses to admit that he has one.  If his drinking is causing problems and he know this but is not willing to do anything about it, then he has made his choice and you lost to the addiction.
666958
Similar situation, but no booze involved. Just country folks. My hubby's family, burps, farts, pick their noses at the dinner table, etc... It grosses us out (I say us because my hubby didn't realize exactly how disgusting it was until we moved away from there 7 yrs ago). I am fortunate, that my husband reminds his family about these things before they visit us. Maybe if you talk to your husband he might do the same thing for you. It couldn't hurt. My hubby also does things like, if someone farts, or belches, he'll say, "Gross, excuse you", that kind of gets things back in check.. GOOD LUCK!!!
77024
Have you considered dumping him? That'll fix him for sure.... Unless you are fond of passing out drunks who treat you poorly. Just a thought.
416267
May I give a freind your e-mail address? He's been drinking for years but keeps saying he wants to quit before he gets too old.\nAs for me I am a little mean to him, I won't buy him beer, I won't be around him if he is drinking and I won't even talk to him on the phone.He trys to make me feel guilty but I tell him if he wants to be around me be sober!\nI won't plead or beg him anymore, but I do pray for him.
908962
just explain to him that u had a little too much to drink, and in ur point of view they were being quite rude to your husband!! apologize for overreacting and try to let it go.  \n\nat this point it doesn't really matter who's "fault" it is, because u both acted as u did at that time, under the influence of alcohol and a party atmosphere.  sometimes people get upset when someone kinda "ruins" the mood... =T.  try to loosen up a bit.. u could've complained to ur hubby (oh i can't believe those people, so rude!!) u didnt' have to cause a scene... u know? but u were defending him, so it's not like u intended to do anything wrong.  it's over and done, try to let it go, and promise to try to stay "Positive" and deal with things together instead of giving strangers a piece of ur mind for no important reason. good l uck
67026
well if he's an alcoholic, the best thing you can give him for V-Day is being his friend. I was once addicted to the bottle and I had friends or so I thought. Once I was ready to quit, I realized that they weren't really friends at all, just my drinking buddies. To this day, they don't call me unless they want me to bail them outta jail or what not. Stick with him. It's very hard! But if you sit there through all his horrible stages, he'll appreciate it very much in the end! Without my family and my TRUE REAL friends, I would still be where I was 5 or 6 years ago. Sitting on some jail cell cot and waiting to detox.
93198
Well, I think you cannot control his drinking, no matter what you think.  I would say that daily drinking of that much certainly indicates a problem.  You could go to http://www.aa.org and there are some parts on there for people who are concerned about someone's drinking.  However, this is really about you, and my recommendation would be for you to check out Alanon.  You cannot cause, cure, or control someone else's drinking.  This is very difficult, for there is a level of denial on the part of the potential alcoholic and his or her partner.....
738360
Well drinking yourself to oblivion and hiding that from your loved ones sounds like alcoholism to me.\nTheres only one person who can change him and thats himself - as much as you or other people tell him to change he is the only one who can make that decision.\nI would end the relationship (because of his drinking) but say you will support him in getting help and remain friends etc.\nIf/when he gets himself off the booze you can always get back together again if you want to.
1158034
The pain isn't going to stop until you deal with your feelings, tell him how this has made you feel, and finally forgive him for what he did.  What happened in your marriage is a big thing - getting counseling would be a wise thing to do.  \nYour husband obviously has a drinking problem that needs to be dealt with.  If he knows he gets stupid when he drinks - why does he still drink?  Seeing a counselor would be a good thing for both of you and it will help you both communicate with eachother.
1165746
I don't think so, I trust my husband and he trust me but why put yourself in the situation where something can happen.\n\nWe all know that when your out drinking sometimes you can get carried away, don't let the stress of parting separately ruin your relationship
573168
Depends on the relationship and how long you were together, but I would say he is probably drowning in his beer
461330
I agree that he should not be drinking and taking meds at the same time deadly combination!!! Now for you and your son need to GET OUT OF THE HOUSE!!!!!!!!! Your husband needs help the best way to get the right help for him is to have him admitted to a hospital so correct meds can be given and he can be monitored properly. UNDERSTAND YOU ARE IN DANGER AND SO IS YOUR SON UNFORTUNATELY YOU HUSBAND MAY HURT YOU OR CHILD OR BOTH TILL HE IS PROPERLY MEDICATED AND GETS PROPER COUNSELING
503824
I agree with your conditions and had the same in my marriage it lasted 28yrs. He cheated 3yrs in and I forgave him by the time we had been together 15yrs he was an alcoholic and I sttod by him and tried desperately to get him to go for help. Then 7 months ago he came in pissed and hit me.....end of the 28yr marriage!!!!! Haven't seen him since. Stick to your conditions.
677456
Sounds like you are a binge drinker. And yes that makes you an alcoholic. You need to go to AA.