I have been living with a man since 1998. He doen'st seem interested in marrying me.?
355501
some guys just dont want to get married... if things are good, why not just keep them the way that they are.
645218
take your time, Love will reveal it's self.\ndoes he call you, or do you do everything in the relationship. test him, see if he really cares. don't bug him about it or give him a big list of what you are looking for, just let him be and see what kind of guy he is. you can't change people so find out if he is really suitable for you through experience in time. you are probably young enough that it isn't crucial that you get married right now. take your time if you can....it reveals many things!
945794
6 years is a pretty long enough time to know whether or not you want to marry someone. I have observed from numerous relationships that guys keep some women dangling; and then they will meet one particular female that they just know right away that she won't be allowed to get away. I think you two need to have a real heart to heart talk, but in person. Long distance relationships are extremely difficult, especially being faithful; emotionally and physically. Be honest, tell each other how you feel.  I wonder if you guys seriously voiced your goals in the begining of your relationship. I'm guessing that you didn't expect to be waiting this long. Don't be afraid of speaking candidly, this is obviously making you uncomfortable as well. Life is way too short. Maybe there is some fear on his part that he hasn't expressed to you, something he thinks he would like to achieve before he settles down. It's good to have plans, but sticking to the exact order of those plans can cause you to miss out on some really great life altering blessings.  Ask him if something happened to you and caused you to not be available to him , if he would regret not taking that step to marriage. Sometimes we don't realize what we have until we no longer have it. Listen to his verbal and non-verbal responses. If you still don't feel confident and satisfied with the decision made you may end up waiting even longer. Are you willing to put your life on hold for someone who may just not be mature enough for that type of commitment any time soon?
256475
Sounds like you waited too long already.  If he isn't married or involved with someone he is still someone with little time to give you--or he would be with you now.  He doesn't sound worth another second to me.
579356
i know what ur goin through, i'l be married 4 years this july we have nothin in common ,no communication,when we go out for a drive we dont talk.we even sleep in seperate beds .i'v been with him since i was 18 years old now i'm 31 .but i got 2 wonderful kids which are my world. i just want you to know ur not alone.....
247284
I am going to live with my boyfriend soon. And I would not want to be married before having lived together for at least a couple of years.\nBut hmm 14 years, that is a long time. Maybe he is just one of those millions of people that does not value the institute of marriage.
447741
I would have a serious conversation with him. It would be a shame to wait another 5 years just to hear again what you're hearing now. Why doesn't he want to marry you? I would think that the prospect of marrying the person you love would make you work harder towards your goals if you know that you will be married after. Talk to him. Let him know how you feel. If marriage and children are important to you then he needs to know. He may just be nervous about commitment, but if he really loves you he will need to face that fear. Im sorry but if he doesnt feel the same way then you need to move on. I know that will be painful but its better than wasting the next 5+ years of your life hoping he will change. If he agrees to marry you, make sure its really what he wants. You will be miserableif he married you because he felt he had no choice. Best of luck.
412994
All of your thoughts are definetly valid ones.  You know that the beginning of "where's this going" relationship stuff is NO picnic.All I can say is, keep your eyes WIDE OPEN.  Pay close attention to any RED FLAGS along the way (if there are any).  You know, it's just one of those things in life that really, only time will tell.  By all means don't put yourself in the position to feel obligated in to rushing in to anything.  I WOULD recommend paying close attention to his ACTIONS.  Be cautious of charming talkers.  Please, allow time to take it's course.  \n\nI would be curious why he feels it's necessary for you to know where he is, even if it is work related.  To me, it's just a bit odd.  That would get on my nerves after a while.  I mean, his employer is the one that really needs to know where's he's at all the time, not you. That's merely MY opinion.  Is he borderline needy without actually being needed?  Not that there's any crime of being 45 years old, having never married.\n\nAhh.  Like I said, just allow time to take it's course.  If it's really meant to go anywhere, then it surely will.\nDon't be too hard on him, or yourself.  Just be smart, okay?\nTake care.\n\nP.S.  Hey there c68!  I sure hope this turns out to be something good for you.  Be patient, enjoy each other, learn about each other.Maybe this is one that deserves your time.  I really do hope he's a good person.  Keep on your toes.  You seem to be a smart cookie.  Keep it up!\nI'm thinkin' about ya and if it helps, I'm pullin' for ya too. (Well, you know,...for both of you)  Take care.
681890
He must want it to work as badly as you want it to work.  He can start by communicating to you that he is interested in dating you exclusively or in a marriage proposal.  Otherwise, until he says one of these things, no outside suggestion is going to change anything.  If you are relating positively to each other right now, this is all you can hope for until he decides what he wants to do.  It is not your call.  Just enjoy what you have for now and do not make more of it than what it is: a friendship.
510340
If you can see he is not truly commited:\n\nIf you can bear with it, then you should know it is time to move on. You know this is not gonna work out. Where will this lead to, if you go on like this? He will never be yours. \n\nWhat is the point of mixing around with this sort of people? In fact, you should know by now he isn't worth it. \n\n\nIf you can see he is commited but hesitant:\n\nThen find out why. There must be something troubling him.\nHis family opposition perhaps. Try to resolve it with him. If it is his family, perhaps you can find some ways to present yourself to impress them. \n\nTry also to tell him it is time to make his own decision and not let others interfere. After all, if you both marry, it will be your new life and no one elses.
787457
I think that whatever the reason for your intereste in this other man, it is telling you one very important thing: you probably arent ready for marriage. as much as you probably do want to get married, maybe this is a way of telling you to give it a bit more time. it doesnt mean that you dont love your partner. perhaps you should just take a bit of time before deciding on marriage, and spend it on analysing your relationship and if this is really what you want. marriage should be for life. so your partner should be the only man in your life, when you decide to marry. perhaps just for now, take time to enjoy eachothers company and maybe you can look forward to a Valentine's Day Proposal in a few months time!\nWhatever you decide, follow your heart. The decision either way has to be right for you, as you are the one living your life.\n\nMaybe discuss with your partner your concerns? &#92;\n\nBest of luck in your relationship
338485
I think it sounds like you and him had a lot in common, and he views you as a good friend, after all you two were together for a while. He may still have feelings for you, but if he is getting married he should not be flirting with you. Now he may also have the other thing on his mind, and is not ready to let go of that or he misses your company and body. If that is the situation you know what to do. Just simply tell him no, but that you two can still remain friends if you both agree to that. Let him know that that is as far as it goes, unless you two think you may eventually get back together. Buy that does not appear to be an option at this point. Whatever you do , do not let him use you for sexual relations. Good Luck and I hope you two can remain friends.
51623
If he's living with you and hasn't offerd to marry you, he's keeping his options open just in case someone better comes along. She may be prettier, cook better, be more willing to let her life revolve around his son, or just look better in a tight sweater.\n\nOnce (if) you are married, you've got 6 more years of coming in second to his son. Once the son turns 18, he will go live on his own, unless he doesn't.\n\nThis guy must have SOME good features or you'd have left him long ago; that or you are desperate.\n\nTake a deep breath, remind yourself that he isn't going to change, and ask yourself if life with him (an UNCHANGED him) is better than life without him. \n\nIf so, learn to live with it and stop complaining, because - guess what? he isn't going to change. If not, leave him.\n\nBoy, other people's problems are easy to solve, aren't they?\n\nYou have any ideas about an 18-year old daughter who considers me evil because I eat meat?
921399
I really don't think so. If you have been together for four years, are moving out of state together, and he hasn't asked up to this point, why would he ask now? He doesn't see the need....he has everything he wants, without marriage.
1094375
have you talked to him about your desire to be married one day?  he may be afraid of committment.  if a man can have sex with you, live with you, be fed by you, etc., then he's getting all the goods for nothing.  why marry when you can get it all without the committment?  don't know if that's your situation, but likely he's not thinking about it because he's getting all the benefits of being married without actually having to go all the way.\n\nby the way, if he's not interested that probably will not change anytime soon.  it may be time to move on if you truly want to be with someone who wants to marry you.  never force it.  that will come back to bite you in the butt sooner or later.
816012
If marriage is the goal for both of you, then anything over 2 years is pushing it.  Once you get to the 4 - 5th years, time to call it quits if no proposal was forthcoming by then.
377988
Your best bet is to move on, now!  He was probably silent from the time he talked about marriage and visiting you until now, because he had other "coals in the fire" and they didn't work out.  If there was a period of "silence" he was looking for a quicker or better way to get here.  He is using you, from the little bit of info you stated, and believe me, he is not serious!  You should move on and live your life and resolve your feelings for this "fantasy man".  Good luck to you in whatever you decide, because it is your ultimate decision, and believe me, I know letting go will be painful and confusing, but since you asked for advice, I think deep down in your heart you know he is using you.  God Bless.