have ever told your spouse about your bad secrets and why ?
338482
Yes, I have told b/fs about the bd things bout me, if you don't let him know, and he finds out later, to me that's like lieing, in order to love and be loved, you have to let the bad things out as well.  Your partner is suppose to your best friend in all the world, if this is true, then you should be able to tell them anything and everything.
888385
I think everyone has untold secrets. I wouldn't tell him unless he specifically asked.  Then I would not lie to him.  I am sure he has secrets and they should be kept that way.  Your shrink is right in saying the past is the past and has nothing to do with him.
307104
(whispering)... yes... but don't let my wife know.
1092224
I would tell my brother how much I love him, how stupid I think he is acting AND that although I will not purposely hurt him by telling his secrets, neither will I lie if his wife asks me anything.  Good luck
386686
well if you want out of the marriage then tell or if you want drama then tell other wise you don't tell ever  I made a similar mistake the relationship ended and the sex was just one time and the guilt ate at me and ate at me until i thought i was gonna go insane. and i told on my self like a little kid ya know  my husband didn't have any idea could have gotten away with it sorta if i hadn't told.  I crushed him naturally.  If i could do it over i would  but if i couldn't take back the sleeping around then i would defiantly take back telling on my self.  as long as you end it and work on your marriage  i would never ever tell.  it won't make you feel better trust me.  and if you wanna keep him and work on your relationship telling him will NOT help that trust me.  me and my husband is still together but of course he don't trust me  which is understandable.  Its really no life kinda because he may have forgave in a way but he won't forget which i don't blame him but i can't look up  he my as well left me   so if i were you i wouldn't ever tell  its not worth it and it won't make you feel better
943812
Yes, my wife had two affairs, when I discovered the second one, she admitted to the first one.  She ask God's forgiveness and then mine.\n\nGod's was much quicker, mine has taken about four years, but I am feeling the love she has for me and I for her.  Its the trust that has been the hardest thing to rebuild.\n\nMy mantra through all of this has been..."Forgiving is not forgetting...It's remembering with your mind at peace!"\n\nI have found peace.
1021113
I don't think you have to lay out every single secret that comes down the pike.  Some things you shouldn't have to share with anyone else. Generally, if it's important to the marriage, then go ahead and share it with your spouse.  But above all be sure there is trust between the two of you and never do anything that would threaten that trust.
18739
If you wife ticks you off, and you don't know how to tell her, I (as a wife) would do the following.\n\n1st calm down.  Then later ...the same day...  calmy let her know that what she said, did, implied was hurtful, harmful, inconsiderate.\n\nBe polite as possible and try to not make it about what she did, said, etc, but how it made you feel.  \n\nBe honest and polite, and loving.
451504
Relationships are based upon honesty and trust. I could not lie to my husband about anything even when i know that it is going to get me in trouble, the reason is is because I love him and he deserves to know what is going on and to lie to him is to dishonor him. \n\nShe is probably embarrassed about her habit, but she needs to realize that it is not okay to lie to you about it. It is not very honorable to lie to someone and I can understand where you would not trust her.  You probably almost feel like she is hiding something. \n\nI would suggest having a long hearted but gentle and calm talk with her and maybe counseling may be necessary as well
363647
YOU KNOW I HAVE HAD THIS HAPPEN TO ME ALOT. ITS JUST JEALOUSY. THEY ARENT HAPPY WITH THEIR LIVES AND THE RELATIONSHIP THEY ARE IN. THEY SEE THAT YOU HAVE SOMETHING THAT THEY WANT SO THEY MAKE UP THINGS ABOUT YOU SO THAT YOU FEEL INSECURE ABOUT YOURSELF AND YOUR RELATIONSHIP. MAYBE YOU AND YOUR HUBBY SHOULD CONFRONT THEM TOGETHER AND SEE WHAT THEY HAVE TO SAY THEN. USUALLY THEY ARE DUMB FOUNDED AND CANT SAY ANYTHING. BUT DONT WORRY ABOUT THEM. AS LONG AS YOU KNOW THAT THEY ARE RUMORS AND NOT TRUE YOU SHOULDNT WORRY ABOUT ANYTHING.
772822
Under marriage & divorce - we can only assume you cheated.  It will probably go away in time...who knows how long...only you can say.  Hey, it happened for a reason...maybe he did something unkind to push you into it?  It may not have been all your fault?  \n\nDon't tell your hubby, that will only make matter worse and then he can bring it up years from now during an argument.  Confessing to him may make you feel better, but it will definately make him feel worse.  Short term it may work...long term it sucks.  \n\nThe good new is that the guilt will fade away a little more each day.  If you really need to share this with someone, then go to a church and share it with God.  Good luck.
342842
I think your only mistake was not telling her. You need to let her go to be able to continue and have a happy marriage, you have the best thing though, memories.
953561
I have been married 9yrs, so I'm still learning too. Marriage is a constantly changing thing. It is important to remember that you are all still adjusting to something that is new & exciting & even scary. Some people handle this differently than others. Keep telling him how you feel. It's crucial that there be no secrets in a marriage. If you are truly concerned that this is not just an adjustment issue, you should explain to him what it is that you want from this marrauge. He can't possibly know unless you tell him. You need to keep the lines of communication open. Without it, a marraige cannot possibly survive. Good luck
180428
YES!  \n\nI do it all the time!  \n\nMarried guys send me IM's through Yahoo! Messenger.  I find out who their wives are (google sure is wonderful isn't it) and then tell them I know their wife.  Talk to them about how I am learning to be a Certified Financial Planner and offer my services to help him and his family out financially. \n\nThey come for ... what-EVer ... and leave smarter and less anxious to stray from home, I hope.
196790
When the friend's wife starts to disclose too much information, you could say something like, "I'm sorry, but I'm quite (shy, conservative, squeamish [fill in something you are comfortable with here]) and this kind of conversation makes me really uncomfortable. Can we talk about something less (personal, intimate, graphic [fill in objectionable characteristic here]), please?" I find that this will usually solve the problem.\n\nIf you're extra-lucky, the wife will think you're stuck up or prissy and they won't invite you again! :-D
209499
It took me a long time to overcome my husband's "confession".  I was devestated, not knowing what to do or where to turn.  But I put one foot in front of other and just kept on keeping on until I finally could put him and her behind me.  I wasn't easy but I did it all on my own without support from anyone.
720004
i've been wanting to tell my husband that i am having an affair & i want him to help me to get out of it before it's too late but i can't tell him that 'coz it would really hurt him so much & i don't want to loose him & so i am trying my very best to get out of this mess...  = (