How I can live with a critical husband, that critics about everything ?
338868
It is very difficult to live with someone that is very critical, however if you have already been with him for 22 years there must be love. Try and focus on the things you love the most of him and charish those, try and bring them out as often as possible, reinforce those things by telling him how much you apperciate that trait. Also understand that most people who are critical are so because they feel insecure. This is where it will be hard for you. You can not come out and suggest this to him because it will only make him more insecure. Keep a watchful eye on him, typically the things he is most critical about are the things he feels the most insecure about. Watch for these and see what you can do to help improve his self image relating to this. \n\nSo far you both have done something right to last 22 years. Keep up the good work, stay compassionate, forgive him for his only true short coming of being critical, and show him love everyday.
813755
Just remember that you always have control over your own situation.  If you are in a bad marriage don't be afraid to leave.  Get out of that comfort zone and don't let fear of the unknown stop you.
1145348
Some men just don't know how to that. It isn't something that they need for themselves so it is hard to remember to do it for others. Ask him to write some of the things he thinks for you on paper. Then you take the list. It isn't as nice as him actually saying it but it does help. My husband is terrible at compliments. He tries but it never comes out right. I've found this to work better.
1157796
Sounds like you have a control freak husband, who thinks a woman's place is barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen. If there is no respect there is no love and if there is no love, there is no reason to stay, you need to find a job and leave him.
790162
Jules first of all think yourself lucky that you have a supportive family - just imagine how hard it would be going through what you are without them.\nSecondly there must be a good reason for them all having this opinion of him.....hey they cant all be wrong!\nRemember people not directly involved will often see things that you cant, you loved your husband and only saw the best in him, where as they saw the other side.They only want whats best for you.\nThere is life after divorce honey-good luck to you and be strong xx
652530
You were not put on earth to please people everyday. I know\nthe Bible says for a wife to please her husband, but not for\nyou to wear youself out. Wives are not slaves. They don't bow down to their husbands everyday saying "yes master". A\nwife has things she does and so does the husband. Now when\nthe husband starts complaining about everything you do then he has a problem. He's busy focusing on finding error instead of praising you for your work. A wife can only do so\nmuch. A woman's body was not made to do alot of rough and \ntough work. We are delicate and soft all the way to the last\ntouch. So you see he has a problem. He needs to praise you\nfor your work instead of complaining. You are doing your very best and that is all that matters.
1179387
Many times we take our frustration and or anger out on the person who is closest to us which is usually the one we love the most! Plan a "date night" with your husband! Tell him in advance that the two of you are going out to dinner together. Pick a restaurant that both of you enjoy. Wear something you know he finds sexy on you. Once this day comes, you are going to start off with a whole new attitude! You are going to be more positive about things. Yes there are things that will get us down but don't let it keep you down, no more S.H.I.T. !!!! From here on you are going to see the brighter side of things! That evening at dinner talk about all of the wonderful things the TWO of you have done TOGETHER! Reminisce about your wedding day, anything of the wonderful things that two of you have done! Also, tell him how after dinner you are going to take him home and the two of you are going to get absolutely wild in bed! After this, wake up each day and realize how good you have things. A wonderful, loving husband, a good family life and all of the other things you may have! Take a positve outlook on things and you will stop giving him that other thing you mentioned. By doing this you will help yourself mostly but also your marriage too!\nGood luck!
1094543
He should not be bossy and neither should you in this situation. He should be the head of the home though and make all the major decisions and you should be allowed to have input in this too. Compromise is important here. I recommend the book the Power of A Praying Wife by Stormie Omartian to you. It is a great book and they sell it in places like Walmart. Love your husband where he is at and maybe he is bossy because you are.  Try not to be so bossy and let him lead some and see what happens.
345813
i think the best way would be is to go with what he asks you to do, but never let him get to you. agree to whatever he tells you, but do what you want anyways on your own account.. or with out him knowing.. more or less just letting things flow so u can live at peace. if this approach doesnt work, try discussing things with him, see his point of view and try to understand it, maybe there is a reason as to why he doesnt want you to do certain things. if also this approach doesnt work, save money, work hard, have patience and move out... all in all i think u should be strong and handle this smartly, cause if you rebel hell just be as suprpessive and controlling as he can get. try to work your way to get your peace of mind.. remember that.
510937
They do that because they know you will cry. So you have to turn the tables on them. Gird up the woman power and tell\nthem to back off. Put some sterness in your voice. Don't\nback down. You see they think you are weak and a wimp. But \nyou can prove them wrong. When your husband does that just\nlaugh it off, make a joke about it, or ignore it. As for the\nson he is out of line and he need to stay in a child's place. You need to take his prize possession from him. Ground him until he learns to respect you and obey you. You have got to take a stand and let them know you are not going to put up with their crap no more. That is your house too and you need to take control. Let them see the ugly side of you. That'll scare them.
983837
Find a support system. Though a husband is supposed to be part of it. Get out there and make friends, people who share your interests and viewpoints. On the husband, make mentions of whats going on in your mind. He may feel as insecure as you do about living in this new place and may not know how to comfort you if he cannot do it for himself. Most people keep things inside and queitly seeth. Its rare to find people who can communicate well in a relationship. Find someway to open the lines.
212825
Don't worry...this is very common. The best thing that you guys can do is to get together and come to agreements about your finances and stick to a budget...that way, if/when either one of you buy something outside the budget...you get called out. Also, it is best to sit down and just have a heart to heart on all of the frustrations that you are both going through...the worst thing that you can do is to sweep it under the rug and let it build up! Also, make a pact to only talk about things in a calm manner and do it all in one session instead of doing it everyday(a peaceful home is a happy one). Also, remember that you are adjusting to each other and that you are both going to find things that annoy you about the other person...but, also look at the positive things and especially the positive things that you have noticed since you have been married!
745508
follow your heart but communcate that with your husband...and for god sake stop worrying about this stuff and consummate the marriage..its been long enough and im sure hes irritated.
1070570
Be miserable, like I am. It wouldn't be so bad if the man I married loved and respected me. I guess that doesn't help you, but these things happen. Do what you need to do to make things right, if you can.
1049554
Yeah! These people are aTTACKers, aren't they...but helpful, too. Don't delete your question because I'ma watchin' it, girlfriend!\nWell, I say if he has the NERVE to check you on YOUR DAILY WORK, then you can get that same nerve.  \n\nThat is the trade-off, right.  And he wouldn't want to switch with you.  Tell him on a Saturday morning or a day off to track what the heck he does all day! Projects take longer than men think.  I like to get everything done in the 1st two hours of of the morning hustlin. Then, no matter what I do it's just done and the happy husbands off\nmy friggin' back.  \n\nTell him if you spent as much time cleaning up after HIM as you \ndid on the other household, necessary daily chores, he'd HAVE\nthe neat, sparkly perfect home he desired.  He'll get mad, that's just that tender little species of fragility and gentleness called\nTHE MALE EGO.\n\nTo those people who are working do NOT assume SAHM is\na dream job.  Its not for lazy bums.  Not the hardest work, \nbut important and challenging, more than you'd think.
586521
You have to treat them like they are children, and everything goes smooth. If you treat them like adults that's when the shit hits the fan! They can not do anything for themselves, and once you get married its really worse. I love my husband to death, but sometimes he is just more then I can handle it. My philosophy is just grin and bare it!!!!
877649
First, if he attacks you about such things, tell him to talk to your husband when he gets home, then close the door. Then your husband should ask about a written form that states whatever rules he may have, which is actually something you should have gotten when you moved in. If he is making up the rules as he goes along, then next time your husband can tell him his 'new rule' is not in the written agreement and close the door on him.