How good is this blond joke?
348534
10 its so funny i peed my pants! heehheeeeeeeeehahahahahaha
264452
not all blonde jokes are about females... \n\nDumb Male Blondes"\n\nThere were two blonde guys working for the city council. One would dig a hole, the other would follow behind him and fill the hole in. \n\nThey worked furiously all day without rest, one guy digging a hole, the other guy filling it in again. \n\nAn onlooker was amazed at their hard work, but couldn't understand what they were doing. \n\nSo he asked the hole digger, "I appreciate the effort you are putting into your work, but what's the story? You dig a hole and your partner follows behind and fills it up again." \n\nThe hole digger wiped his brow and sighed, \n"Well, normally we are a three-man team, but the guy who plants the trees called in sick today.\n\n---------\n\nHow did the blond explain how his helicopter crashed?\nHe said it was getting cold, so he turned off the ceiling fan.\n\n----------\n\nWhy did the blond quit his job as a restroom attendant?\nHe couldn't figure out how to refill the hand dryer.\n\n------------\n\nWhy did it take the blond a whole week to wash three basement windows?\nIt took him six days just to dig the holes to put the ladder in.\n\n-------------\n\nDid you hear about the blond who thought he discovered that\n he had a twin brother?\nHe didn't realize he was looking in a mirror.\n------------\n\nDid you hear about the blond who never learned to waterski?\nHe couldn't find a lake with a slope.\n---------------\n\nWhy did the blond only smell good on the right side?\nHe didn't know where to buy Left Guard!\n\n-----------\n\nWhy couldn't the blond bob for apples?\nHis sister was using the toilet.\n\n-----------------\n\nA blond is going to London on a plane; how can you steal his\n window seat?\nTell him all seats going to London are in the middle row.\n\n---------------\n\nHow do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday?\nTell him a joke on Wednesday. \n\n---------------------\n\nDid you hear about the blond who just bought an A.M. radio?\nIt took him two weeks to figure out that you could play it at night.\n\n----------------\n\nWhy did the blond stand in front of a mirror with his eyes closed?\nHe wanted to see what he looked like asleep.\n\n--------\n\nWhy are most blonde jokes one-liners?\nSo men will understand them.\n\nfeel any better about blonde jokes now?
923847
LMFAO great jokes!!! Love your sense of humor it is wonderful!!
317343
Blonde Jokes\n\nHow do you kill a blonde?.....\nScratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool.\n\nHow did the blond explain how her helicopter crashed?\nShe said it was getting cold, so she turned off the ceiling fan.\n\nHow can you tell if a blonde has been using your lawnmower?\nThe green WELCOME mat is ripped all to shreds.\n\nWhat's the advantage of being married to a blond?\nYou can park in handicapped zones.\n\nWhat happened to the blonde tap dancer?\nShe slipped off and fell down the drain.\n\nHow can you tell which tricycle belongs to the blonde?\nIt is the one with the kickstand.\n\nWhere do you look for blonds' obituaries?\nUnder "Home Improvements."\n\nDid you hear about the blond who thought she discovered that\nshe had a twin brother?\nShe didn't realize he was looking in a mirror.\n\nDid you hear about the blond who never learned to water ski?\nShe couldn't find a lake with a slope.\n\nWhy couldn't the blond bob for apples?\nHer sister was using the toilet.\n\nA blond is going to London on a plane; how can you steal her\nwindow seat?\nTell her all seats going to London are in the middle row.\n\nHow do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday?\nTell her a joke on Wednesday.\n\nWhy did the blonde put her finger over the nail she was hammering?\nThe noise gave her a headache.\n\nWhy don't blonds have elevator jobs?\nThey don't know the route.\n\nDid you hear about the blond who just bought an A.M. radio?\nIt took her two weeks to figure out that you could play it at night.\n\nDid you hear about the blonde who couldn't wait to see 20,000\nleagues under the sea?\nShe said that she loved baseball, and was surprised that there\nwere so many teams.\n\nWhy did the blond stand in front of a mirror with his eyes closed?\nShe wanted to see what she looked like asleep.\n\nWhat does a postcard from a blonde’s vacation say?\nHaving a wonderful time. Where am I?\n\nWhy do blonds have TGIF on their shoes?\nToes go in first.\n\nWhy did the blond scale the chain-link fence?\nTo see what was on the other side.\n\nWhy did the blond tip-toe past the medicine cabinet?\nSo he wouldn't wake up the sleeping pills.\n\nWhy did the blond get so excited after he finished the jigsaw\npuzzle in only six months?\nBecause on the box, it said "From 2-4 years."\n\nDid you hear about the blond who shot an arrow into the air?\nShe missed.\n\nA young blonde, wanted a pair of alligator shoes, but was reluctant to pay high New Orleans prices.\n"I'll just catch my own alligator," she told one shopkeeper," so I can get a pair of shoes for free.\nLater the shopkeeper drove home. He spotted the blonde standing waist-deep in a bayou, \nshotgun in hand, with a huge alligator closing in. She took aim and shot the creature between the eyes. The shopkeeper watched in amazement\nas she struggled to haul the carcass onto an embankment where several other dead alligators were lined up.\n"Darn!" the blonde shouted in dismay. "This one isn't wearing any shoes either!"\n\nA blonde goes to get her hair cut. The hair stylist cuts for about 30 minutes, hands the blonde a mirror and asks, "How do you like it?" The blonde says, "It's okay, but could you make it just a little longer on the back?"\n\nThere is a blonde who goes into a store and says, "Excuse me sir, can I buy that television?" The guy said, "No, I don't sell anything to blondes." So the blonde goes home colors her hair red and goes back to the store. She says, "Excuse me sir, can I buy that television?" He says, "I don't sell anything to blondes." So the blonde goes home, colors her hair pitch black and goes back. She says, "Excuse me sir, can I buy that television?" He says," No I don't sell anything to blondes." She says, "How do you know I'm a blonde?" He says, "Only a blonde would think a micro
674141
A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do.\n\n"Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"\nThe blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?"\nThe man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch."\n\nA short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.\n"You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. "Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."\n-the funniest blonde joke \nI knew a blonde that was so stupid that.......\n\n* she called me to get my phone number.\n\n* she put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind.\n\n*she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order.\n\n*she sent me a fax with a stamp on it.\n\n*she tried to drown a fish.\n\n*she thought a quarterback was a refund.\n\n*she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death.\n\n*she tripped over a cordless phone.\n\n*she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.\n\n*she asked for a price check at the Dollar Store.\n\n*she studied for a blood test.\n\n*she thought Meow Mix was a CD for cats.\n\n*when she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved.\n\n*when she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 bus twice instead.\n\n*when she took you to the airport and saw a sign that said "Airport Left" she turned around and went home\n\nDid you hear about the blonde that... \nCouldn't learn to water ski because she couldn't find a lake with a slope.\n\nGot excited because she finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months and the box said "2 to 4 years"\n\nCouldn't call 911 because there was no 11 on any phone button.\n\nWhen asked what the capital of California was; answered "C".\n\nBaked a turkey for 3 days because the instructions said 1 hour per pound and she weighed 125.\n\nAfter losing in a breaststroke swimming competition, complained that the other swimmers were using their arms.
1101689
A blonde goes into a nearby store and asks a clerk if she can buy the TV in the corner.\n\nThe clerk looks at her and says that he doesn't serve blondes, so she goes back home and dyes her hair black.\n\nThe next day she returns to the store and asks the same thing, and again, the clerk said he doesn't serve blondes.\n\nFrustrated, the blonde goes home and dyes her hair yet again, to a shade of red.\n\nSure that a clerk would sell her the TV this time, she returns and asks a different clerk this time.\n\nTo her astonishment, this clerk also says that she doesn't serve blondes.\n\nThe blonde asks the clerk, "How in the world do you know I am a blonde?"\n\nThe clerk looks at her disgustedly and says,"That's not a TV -- it's a microwave!"
958120
Brilliant joke you are very funny!
607990
http://www.ahajokes.com/blonde_jokes.html\n\nThis web site has many clean blonde jokes. I hope it helps!
574442
Blonde Jokes:\n\nThe Top 10 Dumb Blonde Inventions (11-18, I made Up and Found On Internet):\n\n1) Waterproof Towel\n2) Solar-Powered Flashlight\n3) Submarine Screen Door\n4) A Book On How To Read\n5) Inflatable Dart Board\n6) Dictionary Index\n7) Helicopter Ejector Seat\n8) Powdered Water\n9) Designer Camouflage\n10) Waterproof Tea Bag\n11) Wireless Dog Leash\n12) Silent Car Alarm\n13) Glass Hammer\n14) Brick Window\n15) See-Through Swimsuit\n16) Pet Rock\n17) Wooden Soap\n18) Pedal-Powered Wheel Chair\n\nMore Jokes:\n\nQ: How do blonde brain cells die ? \nA: Alone. \n\n\nQ: How do you change a blonde's mind? \nA: Blow in her ear. \n\nQ: How do you measure a blonde's intelligence? \nA: Stick a tire pressure gauge in her ear! \n\nQ: How do you keep a blonde busy all day? \nA: Put her in a round room and tell her to sit in the corner. \n\nQ: How did the blonde die ice fishing? \nA: She was run over by the zamboni machine. \n\nQ: How do you get a blonde to marry you? \nA: Tell her she's pregnant. \n\nQ: How does a blond spell farm? \nA: E-I-E-I-O \n\nQ: How does a blond kill a fish? \nA: She drowns it. \n\nQ: A blond going to London on a plane, how can you steal her window seat? \nA: Tell her the seats that are going to London are all in the middle row. \n\nQ: What do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you? \nA: Run....she's got a hand grenade in her mouth. \n\nQ: What do you call a blonde golfer with an iq of 125? \nA: a foursome. \n\nQ: What do you call a blond mother-in-law? \nA: An air bag. \n\nQ: How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday? \nA: Tell her a joke on Wednesday. \n\nQ: What is the blonde doing when she holds her hands tightly over her ears? \nA: Trying to hold on to a thought. \n\nQ: Why did the blonde stare at frozen orange juice can for 2 hours? \nA: Because it said 'concentrate'. \n\nQ: Why did the blonde take two hits of acid? \nA: She wanted to go on a round trip. \n\nQ: Why did the blonde snort Nutra-Sweet? \nA: She thought it was diet coke. \n\nQ: Why did the blonde bake a chicken for 3 and a half days? \nA: It said cook it for half an hour per pound, and she weighed 125. \n\nQ: Why did the blonde put her finger over the nail when she was hammering? \nA: The noise gave her a headache. \n\nQ: Why did the blonde have blisters on her lips? \nA: From trying to blow out lightbulbs. \n\nQ: Why did the blonde climb up to the roof of the bar? \nA: She heard that the drinks were on the house. \n\nQ: Why don't blondes have elevator jobs? \nA: They don't know the route. \n\nQ: Why do blondes work seven days a week? \nA: So you don't have to retrain them on Monday. \n\nQ: What is the difference between a dead blonde in the road, and a dead skunk in the road? \nA: There are skid marks in front of the skunk. \n\nQ: What is the difference between Elvis and smart blondes? \nA: Elvis has been sighted. \n\nQ: What is the difference between blondes and traffic signs? \nA: Some traffic signs say stop. \n\nQ: What's the difference between a blonde and a shopping cart? \nA: The shopping cart has a mind of its own. \n\nQ: What did the blonde do when she noticed that someone had already written on the overhead transparency? \nA: She turned it over and used the other side. \n\nQ: What did the really dumb blond say when someone blew in her bra? \nA: Thanks for the refill. \n\nQ: How does a blonde commit suicide? \nA: She gathers her clothes into a pile and jumps off. \n\nQ: How do you plant dope? \nA: Bury a blonde. \n\nQ: How do you get a one-armed blonde out of a tree? \nA: Wave to her. \n\nQ: How does a blonde measure his/her IQ? \nA: With a tire gauge! \n\nQ: How do you make a blonde's eyes light up? \nA: Shine a flashlight in their ear. \n\nQ: How do you kill a blonde? \nA: Put spikes in their shoulder pads. \n\nQ: How do blondes pierce their ears? \nA: They put tacks in their shoulder pads. \n\nQ: How do you drown a blond? \nA: Leave a scratch and sniff at the bottom of the pool.
896775
Oh HA HA!! Very funny.\n\nxxB
502928
It is funny, no matter what they say. I have a lot of experience with jokes, and I know. The most important is HOW you say it. Keep it on, you'll do fine.
897768
It looks like all the Blonde's avatar's didn't get the joke opps some did lmao
741676
A blonde went into a world wide message center to send a message to her mother overseas. When the man told her it would cost $300, she exclaimed: "But I don't have any money. But I'd do ANYTHING to get a message to my mother."\n\nThe man arched an eyebrow (as we would expect). "Anything?" he asked.\n\n"Yes, yes, anything," the blonde promised.\n"Well then, just follow me," said the man as he walked towards the next room. The blonde did as she was told and followed the man. "Come in and close the door," the man said. She did. He then said, "Now get on your knees." She did. "Now take down my zipper." She did. "Now go ahead ... take it out ..."he said. She reached in and grabbed it with both hands ... then paused. The man closed his eyes and whispered, "Well... go ahead."\n\nThe blonde slowly brought her mouth closer to it and while holding it close to her lips, tentatively said..........."Hello, mom can you hear me?"
967559
He leans over to the big woman\nnext to him and says,\n"Do you wanna hear a funny blonde joke?"The big woman replies,\n"Well, before you tell that joke, you should know something.\nSure, I'm blonde, and six feet tall, 210 lbs. and I'm a professional triathlete and bodybuilder.\nThe blonde woman sitting next to me is 6' 2" and 220 lbs;\nshe's an ex-pro wrestler.\nNext to her is a blonde\nwho's 6' 5",weighs 250 lbs.,\nand she's a kick boxer professional.\nNow, do you still want to tell that blonde joke?"The guy blinks, swallows, and thinks about it for a second\nthen says;\n"No, not if I'm going to have to explain it three times."!
278914
That is literally the funniest joke I've ever heard.  Ever.  In fact, I don't even think it was so much the joke, as how well you told it.  You, my friend, are a comedic genius.
1055282
haha blonde jokes may be degrading to women but i'm brunette so i don't care! good sh*t man.
666195
OH YEAH?!\n\n\nBlonde Jokes:\n\nThe Top 10 Dumb Blonde Inventions (11-18, I made Up and Found On Internet):\n\n1) Waterproof Towel\n2) Solar-Powered Flashlight\n3) Submarine Screen Door\n4) A Book On How To Read\n5) Inflatable Dart Board\n6) Dictionary Index\n7) Helicopter Ejector Seat\n8) Powdered Water\n9) Designer Camouflage\n10) Waterproof Tea Bag\n11) Wireless Dog Leash\n12) Silent Car Alarm\n13) Glass Hammer\n14) Brick Window\n15) See-Through Swimsuit\n16) Pet Rock\n17) Wooden Soap\n18) Pedal-Powered Wheel Chair\n\nMore Jokes:\n\nQ: How do blonde brain cells die ? \nA: Alone. \n\n\nQ: How do you change a blonde's mind? \nA: Blow in her ear. \n\nQ: How do you measure a blonde's intelligence? \nA: Stick a tire pressure gauge in her ear! \n\nQ: How do you keep a blonde busy all day? \nA: Put her in a round room and tell her to sit in the corner. \n\nQ: How did the blonde die ice fishing? \nA: She was run over by the zamboni machine. \n\nQ: How do you get a blonde to marry you? \nA: Tell her she's pregnant. \n\nQ: How does a blond spell farm? \nA: E-I-E-I-O \n\nQ: How does a blond kill a fish? \nA: She drowns it. \n\nQ: A blond going to London on a plane, how can you steal her window seat? \nA: Tell her the seats that are going to London are all in the middle row. \n\nQ: What do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you? \nA: Run....she's got a hand grenade in her mouth. \n\nQ: What do you call a blonde golfer with an iq of 125? \nA: a foursome. \n\nQ: What do you call a blond mother-in-law? \nA: An air bag. \n\nQ: How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday? \nA: Tell her a joke on Wednesday. \n\nQ: What is the blonde doing when she holds her hands tightly over her ears? \nA: Trying to hold on to a thought. \n\nQ: Why did the blonde stare at frozen orange juice can for 2 hours? \nA: Because it said 'concentrate'. \n\nQ: Why did the blonde take two hits of acid? \nA: She wanted to go on a round trip. \n\nQ: Why did the blonde snort Nutra-Sweet? \nA: She thought it was diet coke. \n\nQ: Why did the blonde bake a chicken for 3 and a half days? \nA: It said cook it for half an hour per pound, and she weighed 125. \n\nQ: Why did the blonde put her finger over the nail when she was hammering? \nA: The noise gave her a headache. \n\nQ: Why did the blonde have blisters on her lips? \nA: From trying to blow out lightbulbs. \n\nQ: Why did the blonde climb up to the roof of the bar? \nA: She heard that the drinks were on the house. \n\nQ: Why don't blondes have elevator jobs? \nA: They don't know the route. \n\nQ: Why do blondes work seven days a week? \nA: So you don't have to retrain them on Monday. \n\nQ: What is the difference between a dead blonde in the road, and a dead skunk in the road? \nA: There are skid marks in front of the skunk. \n\nQ: What is the difference between Elvis and smart blondes? \nA: Elvis has been sighted. \n\nQ: What is the difference between blondes and traffic signs? \nA: Some traffic signs say stop. \n\nQ: What's the difference between a blonde and a shopping cart? \nA: The shopping cart has a mind of its own. \n\nQ: What did the blonde do when she noticed that someone had already written on the overhead transparency? \nA: She turned it over and used the other side. \n\nQ: What did the really dumb blond say when someone blew in her bra? \nA: Thanks for the refill. \n\nQ: How does a blonde commit suicide? \nA: She gathers her clothes into a pile and jumps off. \n\nQ: How do you plant dope? \nA: Bury a blonde. \n\nQ: How do you get a one-armed blonde out of a tree? \nA: Wave to her. \n\nQ: How does a blonde measure his/her IQ? \nA: With a tire gauge! \n\nQ: How do you make a blonde's eyes light up? \nA: Shine a flashlight in their ear. \n\nQ: How do you kill a blonde? \nA: Put spikes in their shoulder pads. \n\nQ: How do blondes pierce their ears? \nA: They put tacks in their shoulder pads. \n\nQ: How do you drown a blond? \nA: Leave a scratch and sniff at the bott