loss and grieving processes in japan?
336787
in all cultures and languages the steps of loss are the same\ndenial- it isn't true\nbargaining- oh God please let me take her place\ngrief-sadness\nacceptance- dealing with the absence
674970
I’m really sorry for your loss.\n\nYour experience is very normal, and I’ve heard as much from other people, especially if they had a good steady relationship with the parent who died. My grandfather died recently (he was in his 90's), and my mother is going through the same thing, even though she was prepared for it.\n\nEven deep friendships have the same sort of “resonance.” One author wrote about his best friend dying in an unexpected accident and said that every time he saw a white SUV of the same model as his friend’s sitting in a parking lot or passing him on the road, he had to fight the urge to pull over or turn around and look for him. His head knew that his friend was gone and not coming back, but his heart kept hoping anyway. \n\nThere are so many cues around us that we associate with someone we care about, and even when they are not there, we are still cued to respond.\n\nI know it’s distressful, but unless you are doing some dangerous things because of the feelings or find yourself unable to function on a daily basis, I would just say you’re very normal. \n\nLook at it as a clear indication of how much you loved your father and what a good relationship you two had together: Even though he has died, his presence still seems very real to you. \n\nHe is in a sense “always with you.” \n\nThat’s actually something special -- it's an experience that some people never have with their parents or anyone else. In a way, although you are suffering his loss, you are still very blessed.
506309
Read up on the Japanese culture - it is not considered good form to show your private feelings in public.  If you judge another culture using YOUR cultural values you will almost never understand what is going on...
137236
In Japan, a majority of people end their lives in hospital, surrounded by high-technology equipment. Yet in a recent survey over half the respondents said they would prefer to die at home. There has been a tradition of not explaining to terminally ill people the true nature of their condition, on the ground that this is the kindest way to proceed. However, views about this matter are changing. In a recent nationwide opinion poll (1), 65% of the participants said that if they were terminally ill they would like to be given full diagnostic information about themselves. Only 22% of the people questioned, however, said they themselves would definitely be prepared to disclose such information to a member of their family.\n\nThe same survey indicated that 78% of people considered palliative care desirable, even though it might shorten life; 16% thought life should be sustained as long as possible, irrespective of the pain that patients might be suffering.\n\nThe National Matsudo Hospital is one of the few hospitals in Japan with a palliative care unit. The use of morphine has significantly reduced pain levels for a high proportion of the patients in this establishment; in 1987, 75% of cancer inpatients were given end-stage fluid therapy but in 1990 the proportion had dropped to 12.5% because many families realized that the treatment shortened patients' lives.\n\nA special task force on terminal care, set up by the Ministry of Health and Welfare, issued a report in 1989 which encouraged the disclosure of diagnostic information to patients, provided that consideration was given to patients' life histories, personalities, relationships with family members, and other factors. The use of drugs for pain control was favoured, and the report also dealt with various additional matters touched on by Dr. Abiven, including spiritual requirements and the care of family members.\n\nPeople should not have to accept without question the authority of doctors in the treatment of disease.\n\nThe view is gaining ground in Japan that people should not have to accept without question the authority of doctors in the treatment of disease. Unfortunately, there are still too few trained people to cope with the many problems associated with dying. Responsibility for the care of the dying should be shared between health professionals and other carers. Changes are needed in the mentalities of both health care providers and patients, and it has to be recognized that medical system and institutions are not immutable.\n\nEfforts have been made to improve the care of the dying by some volunteers and hospitals in Tokyo, Osaka and elsewhere. There are signs of public approval for such work and the government has begun to provide financial support for palliative care through the national health insurance system.
98953
Higashinada area was damaged more than other area.\nVisit web sites bellow,you can find more information.
1034234
This sense of loss you feel is real.Everyone grieves for diffferent periods of time.I can relate to how you feel since both my parents died almost 3 years ago. My dad was sick for some time and when he died it was almost a blessing to see him at peace.My mother dies 10 days later and it was such a shock.I tried to deal with my loss by talking about my feelings with my family.I found comfort in making a scrapbook about them. Sometimes it is the little things that will remind you of them. It may be hearing a song, seeing someone who vaguely resembles your loved ones, scents from perfume  or something so commonplace you associate it with your parents.These  memories while they give you sadness at first they later give you comfort when you realized you loved your parents and they loved you.I hope I can share a small prayer that I had read at my parent's funeral ."The Lord shall have their souls to keep, And I their fond memories when I sleep."
577211
I have always had a very strong affinity with the Japanese culture. When I finally got there, it felt a little like comming home. I don't think it's to do wwith reicarnation or something though.
894738
there's no specific translation of that word in japanese,\ninstead, some japanese use:\n\n"anata ga inaito sabishii desu..."\n(I'm lonely without You...)\n\nsame meaning as "I Miss You"... ^^
368923
how do you start dealing with grief,,,not that we are taught that now are we.\n\nI lost my dad 4 years ago xmas eve ( so when people are getting all happy ready for xmas i'm not) and he died also suddenley,.\n \nI see rest of family getting on with it so I think why cant I, but are they???, they prob feeling the same.  think of him at times and then I get upset.\n\nI think also because it was sudden doesnt mean it hurts more than if u know someone is going to die before hand, like my friends mother who had cancer.\nThey prepared themselves for her not being round much longer.... but\n Shock of loosing a loved one is that SHOCK.\n\ntalking does help, listen to me hey lol i can only talk to strangers about this.\n\n its hard cause they ie parents have been there all our life we have known them forever and now they not there.\n\n\n\nSo as far as i know it is normal still to greive, cause you dont think about them doesnt mean you have forgotton them\n\n\nI hope this makes sense sometimes you cant get your words out.\ngood luck sweetie xx
977386
No, I think it's a part of the whole grieving process.  When I lost my dad, I went through months of clinging to my mom and wanting to talk to her every day, etc.  The reality of losing your parents is what is scaring you; not you dying.  I'm sure you're sick of people telling you that it will get easier...honestly, it will.  I feel for you because of the holidays and all...it will be rough, but you will get through it.  Take care!
163756
First I'd like to express my condolences for your family's loss. People deal with grief in different ways, especially children who may not know exactly how to express how they're feeling. I think it would be beneficial to you and your kids to get some grief counseling to help you all sort through your feelings during this tough time. It would be good to go as a family for support, but individual sessions could be beneficial as well.
55703
Suicide has been a very serious issue in Japan. There are many school kids (not many but some) committing suicide. It's usually because they were bullied by their friends, or they were under a great pressure for getting good grades by their parents. Also, there are many office workers in their middle age around 40 yrs old committing suicide. They are also usually very tired and stressed out under a great pressure at work. The trains in Tokyo often stop and delay because of the suicidal accidents. Workers commuting to work just get so depressed and there are ppl who just jump in to the rail while the train is coming. \nThere are more and more help lines that they can call for help and talk to counselars. Like in high school, the school provides students listing of help lines. Teachers are pretty concerned about bullying at school. \nSo Japaneses are very sensitive about suicide nowadays.
577020
My husband lost his mother when he was very young, and was never allowed to grieve that loss.  His brother died a month before we got married, which was very hard on him.\n\nWe've had 3 miscarriages and no living children, and we both really want children.\n\nEvery loss brings up the loss of his mother for him.  It's been really hard.\n\nWe go to a support group for parents who have experienced miscarriage, stillbirth or neonatal loss.  One thing they tell you early on is that less than 50% of couples who lose a child stay married.  \n\nIt hasn't been easy, but we're still here.  We've both learned and grown from the experience.\n\nHappiness, like peace, is not dependent upon circumstance, but attitude of heart and openness to letting it in.\n\n"Peace.  It does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble or hard work.  It means to be in the midst of those things and still be calm in your heart."  ~  Unknown
1027575
I too have lost my mom and it is hard especially when it came to routines.  Try honoring her in a small way everyday.  Maybe it is listening to her favorite song on the car ride home or going for a walk when you get home to clear your mind.  Writing a journal is also a good way to help work through your grief.  It's hard and things will not be the same.  It will take time for you to get used to her being gone but that does not mean she is forgotten or that you do not think about her.  I still after 7 years think about her quite often.  As time has past the memories have become less painful and truly a blessing.  \n\nAlso think about joining a grief group, plan something fun with friends or your husband (if your married).  Getting out and trying new things will help make this difficult time a little less overwhelming and you will not feel so lonely.  \n\nMotherless Daughters was a book that I read that sort help me work through everything.
454840
A kind of. In fact when we die our soul/spirit transfer from body to an other dimension. There are some people who can see,feel and talk with spirit.\n\nWhen we are alive we become closer to our love one in the same way there is a possibility that spirit can visit their loved ones.\n\nHere in Japan there is a special day for this.\n\nYou may laugh but it is true.
1137993
My spouse of 12 years died Jan 05..and I feel like a major part of my world died with him. The old saying time heals all wounds has some merit, to a point. I still have days when the grief is all consuming, and other days things are fine. I still have small kids that need me, otherwise I often wonder if I'd have the desire or need to carry on alone.
20461
I am a Japanese. \nI am also a victim. \n\nThe Japanese police is advancing criminal investigation in this incident. \nIt is not recognized as a still formal incident. Some time is needed until an incident is presumed. It is 1. that a victim can do it at present. Tell the contents of damage to oosakisyo (police) of Japan. 2.  Inform the Nippon Travel Agency association. It is two. \nAre you a Japanese? \nIf different, as for me, you may be able to do information offer. (Since information of Japan can be offered)  \n\n I cannot speak English. \nThis text is using software which translates Japanese into English automatically. \nI am sorry when translating into the strange text. Although shortage may be in communication in me, supposing help is required, please send e-mail to \nme. \nmail address　＞ umehot@hotmail.co.jp