can you divorce your husband because he refuses to get a job?
349686
Yes I think if I married someone and he left his work and he would not try to find another job yes i divorce him immediately
1042907
You answered your own question.  If your husband makes good money you'll not get a loan.
381250
last year my husband was dignosed with depression (after counless years of suffering from it),so he decided to quit his job to see if it would make him any happier, but in the end being stuck in the house all the time gave him time to dwell on all the negatives which made him worse, and he tried to kill him self twice, but now he is back at work and although he always complains about his job atleast he has something to get up for in the morning, and I think he maybe starting to turn a corner concerning the depressing. Maybe you could try going to college or a new job and working towards the career you've always wanted, but really think hard about giving up work altogether.
195726
I have much REspect for you.Please be STRONG for your children!I am a married woman.I'm 34(he's 35)and I have been with my spouse since high school(15yrs old)!Lately,I have been thinking Alot about divorce!We have had our share of problems in this marriage!(we've cheated,seperated,etc!)Please don't fill like a Failure!You are a mother!Although you may not be a wife,anymore.A mother is the most IMportant thing you could ever do in your life!And you should REspect yourself for that!I have two beautiful daughters as well(ages 12&8).And,they do not want me to seperate from their father.However,I am not happy.I am miserable.It really seems as if we have grown apart throughout the years!Although he will NOT admit it.And he will not leave!Because,he would have to go and live with his mother.He was laid off,collected UNemployment for 6 mths.Now,He has ZERO income.But,it's not even about the money.I have a decent Income.But my money goes I pay all of the bills,etc,etc!With no help from him.He ignores me alot lately.He yells at me if I ask him when he's gonna start to look for employment.We do not sleep together,anymore.(Rarely)!But yet,I won't get rid of him because I am AFRAID!I am afraid of being alone!I am afraid of being a single mom!I do NOT have much support!No family or friends that wanna hear about it!My only family is my mother and she flips out when I mention his name!Because she despises him.And thinks he is an UNfit father and husband,she has even tried to fiX me up with others.Don't get me wrong,He has worked in the past.But there aren't alot of great jobs here in our area.But I thought since he isn't working he would help me around the house more!He does a lil bit but NOT much!He just sleeps constantly,OR plays that damn XboX,or watches Tv 24-7!And it is starting to drive me crazy!We could be tottaly broke need gas,need bread and milk,everything.And he would sit all day and play xbox/or watch tv and act like everythings all good??Please is anyone else out there eXperiencing this with their man/hubby?I would love to hear from you!I would go craZy without this site!lol.I am so ready to call it quits!But,I am just so afraid of being alone.But,It would be so GREAT to find a man who loves me like I love him!One who works,likes the outdoors,fishes,hunts,etc,etc!And one who is good with children!Believe me hun,they are out there!They are just hard to find!But,don't give up!Pray!I bet you time will heal the hurt you are feeling now!And,when you do meet someone else you'll be ready!And hopefully happier than you ever were with him!And I agree with the above look into some support groups they will definately help you!(maybe I should take my own advice,huh?lol)Plus,you may meet someone there you never know.Or at least make some NEW friends!Hey GOOD luck to you!And hey your not all alone dear!You do have us!lol Even though it's just a website.We are all here to help you and give you advice!Sometimes I think I would rather be ALone!Than be with someone who is abusive.And makes me feel Unloved,UNwanted and Neglected!But then again,I might freak out(seriously!)I am just so dependant on him.Even though the marriage is done.And it's stale.I continue to stay?Yes,I am in counseling.But, no that hasn't helped much either!I am on anti depressants,and a whole bunch of other meds.But,I still feel the same.Maybe I'm too afraid to be loved?I don't know what it is anymore.But think of it this way,At least you can be proud of yourself for standing on your own two feet,and raising your children!May I ask why you got divorced after so many years together?Was it your idea or his?If you don't mind sharing.I am really curious about what happened?Thanks!Take Care and good luck to you and the kids!
237028
No. Why?\n\nI was in the military, and let me tell you, it is extremely easy to deal with an abusive military spouse. First you simply tell his CO about it and that should fix the problem most of the time. However, if you need to take it further, you can have him thrown out of base housing and they will garnish his wages while he has to find a place to stay. I really don't understand this question. Spouses of military people alway have a HUGE upper hand in the matter.
458542
I am so sorry!  I know this has to be painful and devastating.  Did you suggest marriage counseling to him?  If you have and he refuses, then he really doesn't want to work it out....which means he has someone else or wants to be "single" again.  If you haven't suggested it, please do.\n\nIf he feels this way and refuses to seek help, then you would be further ahead to divorce him.  It will be too traumatic to your kids and you to try to save a relationship where one of the parties doesn't want to save it.\n\nI hope you can find some true happiness for your children and yourself.
353744
I'm of the opinion that you can't "get" anyone to do anything.  They have to decide they *want* to do it.  You need to have a serious talk with him if his lack of employment is starting to jeopardize your financial future and try to come up with a solution together (as a team). Starting off conversations that are as sensitive as money are hard and need to be done when both people are calm and make sure no guilt or blame or agression is used.  This is a situation that you are both in so it's something you can work on together.  If he's not willing to communicate with you, then I would suggest professional counceling.  These are the types of situations that can tear a marriage apart.  Good luck.
940279
I would suggest you go to counseling to see if you can mend your marriage; it might even be better than before.  Losing a job can be devastating for anyone, but it's especially tough for men.  It sounds like your husband fell into a depression and is just now climbing out of it.  The fact that he still wants to try with you and has made some improvement says a lot.\n\nIf the counseling works, then give the marriage an honest try before you decide to throw in the towel.  \n\nDon't stay together because of the kids.  I've seen that happen with disastrous results.  The children wind up seeing their parents live a life of tolerance, not love.\n\nHe's making an effort; with some new communication skills and both of your working at your marriage, you may find that you love him again.
227738
Consider yourself lucky!! Most women complain about being in loveless/sexless marriages. You've got it made.\n\nWith the new information posted, I would say (sadly) that you're not so lucky. Since he refuses to get help on his own, you could try to get him to go into counseling with you. You might have to make it an ultimatum, but it seems that you may be better off without him anyway. I hope he'll agree to go with you and that you two can work it out, and if not, I'm sure there's a real man out there that will treat you as you deserve to be treated. Mine and my girlfriends prayers are with you.
899637
Can i answer yes to all of the above? \n\nThe reasons why i considered divorcing my husband stemmed from alot of  issues that werent cleared up through communication, the things that came after that - were like a chain reaction....but i will start at the beginning.\nMy husband and i met for the second time, about 6 years ago, (having already met him before about 10years ago.)\ninitially things went well, we had fun, went out, visited friends, generally just did things that couples do.....\n\nAbout three years ago, he and his friends were unfairly dismissed from a job they all worked at, and decided upon opening a company of their own....originally this meant long hours, but eased of after about a year, which i completely understood, i knew he had to work so that we could have the things we wanted, we also decided to get married around this time also...which meant i was also very busy, (due to the fact that i also ran a full time business myself), so aside from us both working full time, there were wedding plans to see to as well. \n\nAround the time we decided to get married, was when the problems started, he was staying later and later at work, i my calls when i asked him to come home, (mind you this is at 10.30 at night), and just generally stopped telling me anything......\n\nWe were fighting all the time, because i felt i was being kept in the dark about things, he was constantly berating me and putting me down, because things werent being done around our home(we both worked 6 days a week at this time), he was refusing to listen to me, and i never heard about what kind of day he had although i asked quite often, all in all it was a major lack of communication on his part, he was getting feedback from me about my daily life, but i was geting nothing in return.....I put up with alot from him for a long time.....hoping things would improve......\n\nTwo years ago we got married, even though i was well aware there were still issues, we did it anyway, hoping some commitment might change things....it did for a while......soon we were back to the same old issue where he just wasnt communicating.\n\nOne day about a year and a half ago, he came home early telling me he had a headache, and went straight to bed, i left him alone, for about an hour, after a while i went to check on him, and found he was crying like a baby balled up on our bed....very confused and bewildered i went to him to find out what was happening.....which is where i found that there had been hassles at work (which had been going on for sometime, but nobody knew, as he wouldnt speak to anyone about it.) , he told me that one of his closest friends was going to be getting the sack (fired), and as he was CEO of the company didnt know how to tell them.......At this point i sat him down and said to him, you need to tell *David*, what is happening so that he can be prepared.....\n\nAs it goes *David* got fired, and as he was pre warned, moved into another position straight away, with his own business, through financial backing from my husband and myself, on the premise that my husband would also leave and join him as soon as he could.......\n\nThis was just over a year ago....*David's* business is now flourishing, doing much better than my husband or his other co- workers ever thought he could......Initially i was spending the occasional day there helping out when i could so that things werent so hectic for *David*, in that time, he and i have become very close, close to the point where his girlfriend has accused us of having an affair....(it hasnt happened....) because we enjoyed each others company so much, and the fact that we felt that we were the only ones being honest with anyone.....In this time i have found myself to be deeply in love with *David*, and its not because we have planned it, or that we wanted to hurt anyone, it has just happened, out of respect for  my husband and *David* and his girlfriend, there is no way that i could over step the boundaries
40100
Well, i'm not a man so i will never have a wife, and i'm not married, so its a dificult one for me, but i can say if i would like to be in a marriage where I make more money than my husband..... \nI suppose that as long as he is not broken because he is a lazy man, you know, the tipical man that never finds the rigth job, so he cannot take that, or maybe the one who is always changing jobs and is not capable to remain someplace, then i would't care about it.
271737
can't you explain all this to your divorce judge?  that you are on medical retirement for a reason?  because you're medically unable to work, now?  you could give up your retirement, but what if you don't get it back?  you don't want to give it up just to get more sick.  i understand child support, but alimony seems a bit of a stretch.  i would consider a part time job, perhaps, to supplement income.  surely this would be okay.
459234
Not necessarily.  In the state where I live (WI), you would have to prove that the other person prevented you from working during the marriage.
903411
I think Prisons have free divorce help, he needs to ask. If not, the papers are free on line. With no children, and no assets, he should have no problem filing as a low income person in the state, or one of the counties he is incarcerated in. Just needs to check on the computer for prices in each county.
470386
I don't know why he won't work but you need to quit waiting for him to grow up and take responsibility.  You have a child now and she needs you to provide for her.  I know you probably don't want to give up on him but it seems like he's already given up on you and your daughter.  It's time for you to start planning a better life for the two of you.
889395
I do not work and my husband does, but i am in control of the money.  you have to put your foot down and make him realize about the future.  MONEY IS THE #1 REASON FOR DIVORCE.  the more he spends the more you guys will fight.
559302
My husband leaves me at home 7 days a week. He is a work alcoholic. He says he is not, but I disagree totally. The only time he will take a day off is when I finally blow up. But you can tell he wants to be at work. He LIVES for work only. He works nights which means he sleeps most the day and evening, gets up, eats and leaves for work again. It's not necessary for him to work all these hours, he chooses too. It's destroying our marriage. I tried to tell him, but he just doesn't see it. I too was brought to another city, no car, no job, no friends. And now, not even him. I give up. He just doesn't see that spending quality time together is important. I've talked until I can't talk anymore. Right now, I don't even care if I see him anymore. He has made me bitter. So, I would say, spend some quality time with the love of your life.