My husband cheated on me with my boss?
350706
I know how you feel. My ex-wife was cheating on me with one of my best friends. We also got divorced, and it was really rough for me for the first year or so. Every part of my life changed, all the routines changed, had to get used to being alone. There is no easy fix when your betrayed by someone you love and trust. Seems like everything you believed in was a lie. It helped me to lean on my family for support. It was hard at first because I felt ashamed, but believe me, you don't want to go it alone. Turn to your friends and family for help. Keep your mind busy, take a night class or something. It helps. Why did he do it? She told him what he wanted to hear. Maybe he thought he wouldn't get caught. Don't get caught up in the why and how, it will only make it worse. Don't get down on yourself, or blame yourself. He chose to do what he did, knowing that he was married. You didn't force him to do it, and you couldn't have done anything differently to prevent him from doing it. You are still a worthwhile human being, and you still have your life ahead of you. As time goes by, it will get easier. You might even realize one day, that your life is better now than it was then. Keep your head up, and good luck.
801822
Will this affect any alimony you get? If he loses his job will you lose too?\n\nGetting revenge is not always as sweet as it seems. Make sure you know what your doing.
295063
Its very unfair, these things just make you feel lost and frustrated.Your boss is a rat!so is that alien.\n A boss should keepall his employers happy and treatthem equally.He sholud have helpedyou there.You did the right thing ,I wouldnt have been able to tolarate such a man.\nMan,you did good for a person who didnt care about you, you should be PROUD! hold your head up high .\nDont feel sad,it WAS the only way out. Had you stayed you would have regretted it.Tell your boss on the face
1147327
Well I'm confused about a couple of things. Is he your husband of 18 years or your boyfriend or is the boyfriend someone else other than the other two guys you were unfaithful to your significant other with. YES of course you cheated. You engaged in a sexual act with not just one but two other men.\nAlcohol is no excuse for a lack of self control. You may not remember in the morning( though you did) but you certainly know what you are doing at the time it's happening know matter how intoxicated you are. Where exactly did your husband or whatever he is crash out? Was he in the camper van also.? My Gosh what were you thinking? I'm trying not to be judgmental here, because I hate that and it serves no purpose but heavens above, I can't find a reason to condone infidelity. 18years is a lot to throw away, you should have thought about that before you cheated. I would not want to stay with a person that was unfaithful. If your man does find out the responsibility is yours and yours alone.
960650
When I was younger, I faced this same situation and it was very uncomfortable.  My advice to you is twofold:  First, let your boss know that his comments are not appreciated and are unprofessional, preferably via email so you have proof.  Next, request a confidential interview with your companies HR department.  I guarantee your claim will be taken seriously, especially if you come with proof in hand. My guess is either your boss will be terminated after the investigation or severely reprimanded.  Most comapnies have a zero tolerance for sexual harassment as it has cost businesses millions of dollars if it goes to court.  Document everything you did to try to resolve the situation.  Use a notebook and note days you spoke to someone, who you spoke with, their title and what statements they made.  Be very factual-do not embellish.  If your company wants to bury this or refuses to correct the situation, which is unlikely, then go to a lawyer with your notebook, any emails or written correspondence and your voice recording.  The voice recording may not be admissible in court as it is illegal in many states to record someone without their consent however bring it all and let the lawyer determine what he can use or not, if it should come to that.  If you do go to court, it will take a long time so be prepared to find another job and carry on with your life.  But you have a good chance of your company doing the right thing so more than likely that last piece of advice will not be necessary.  Good luck and remember, you are protected from sexual harassment by law.
1071270
Get one of those voice activated recorders and when he confronts you, make sure it's on.  Then take the recording to your boss - if she/he doesn't do anything about it, you may be out of luck.  Worse comes to worse see an attorney- this could sexual  harassment and that's illegal!
125530
The question cannot be answered without fuller facts, but it is certainly possible that your husband's rights were violated -- you should consult a local employment lawyer.  Bring all your papers.  The consultation won't cost you anything.
759747
my boss was a dork he used to chat up everything in a skirt. i used to wind him up all  the time but he loved it. thing is are you sure he does not mind and more importantly if not why not. even if he doesn't mind now it will come back and haunt you one day. in my case he liked it cos he thought we had a chemistry!!!!! untill i had a dispute with my contract and he tried to back me up. result i left and he got fired but is normally the other way round. so beware.
990715
Although you showed poor judgment in meeting him, he was the one who was harassing you, making you feel like your job was dependent on him. Now you need to focus on doing you job well. You shouldn't be fired for reporting your former boss' behavior. You can be fired if you don't do your job.
733808
I had two workplace romances a long time ago.  Neither of them caused a problem when we broke up.  How long have you worked with him?  Do you sense even a hint of a vindictive streak?  If so, keep away.  If not, tread carefully and take it slowly.
1015983
Honey, it's absolutely NOT you!!!  You are YOU, not just his wife.  You are an adult and should be able to be friends with others, hobbies other than what he likes, etc.  You DON'T have to do everything together.  You are you're own person.  The fact that he doesn't trust you with  male co-workers is a classic sign that HE should NOT be trusted because his way of thinking is "Well, if I'm capable of doing it, she must be doing it too".  \n\nYou should not have to walk on eggshells in your own house.  My husband and I were having some problems and he made me feel like everything I did was wrong.  He got irritated by every move I made and everything I said and did and we were miserable.  I was so confused because it was my first (and hopefully only) marriage and I was extremely disappointed in marriage and him.  \n\nOne day I had an epiphany.  I was letting myself be changed by him.  I no longer stood up for what I thought and what I did or did not like.  I was no longer ME.  I hate to be crude, but one day I thought to myself "What the f*ck is wrong with me?  He married me.  All my thoughts, flaws, mistakes, passions, talents, everything.....and I've been hiding myself.  Well, screw that!!!" \n\nHe came home from work and I told him.  I WILL BE MYSELF AND IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT, YOU CAN LEAVE BECAUSE I CAN DO THIS WITHOUT YOU AND BE HAPPIER.  IT'S YOUR CHOICE.\n\nTo tell the truth, our marriage has never been better and I'm crazy about him.  If he gets slightly irritated at something I do, too bad.  Everyone isn't perfect and he certainly isn't.  Suck it up, Man!!!  You are far from perfect!\n\nIf he doesn't change, get out.  Life is too short to live with someone who doesn't appreciate you for everything you are.  Be yourself.\n\nTake care,\n\nJoyce
705102
You know so far everyone basically has said NO. I disagree. First of all it does not matter what his resaon was cause bottom line is its wrong and he knows it. You have a choice to make not necessarily him. Trust is what married people live and die by and it is very hard to regain or earn back. If this is a marriage you mutually think is worth salvaging then unfortunately you're the one that will have to deal with the affair more than him. Be frank and sit down, discuss your future if there is a chance for one. Don't ask for the details, its not worth it because you will be hurt and he will not want to discuss them. Even if this happened yesterday it is still considered the past and we can never change the past. From now on agree to start the trust process over and it will be hard, think about it...if he's late from work what is your 1st thought, phone rings and they hang up what is your 1st thought...exactly. You can think it all you want but some days traffic really is going to be bad, think it just don't accuse him only if you see a pattern then thats fair. Its hard I know cause I've gone through it and after 15 years marriage. You must try hard not to punish him for life or use it as a weapon every time you have an arguement to throw in his face though its so tempting. This is more work on your part.You will know if whatever he had on the outside is worth more to him than what he has at home but you will also know that at least you tried. I always say "You can FORGIVE but you will NEVER forget" Its been 6 yrs for me and I still at times think about it time to time but we are people and we will always make mistakes, the decent ones try to correct them. Remember do not throw it in his face as punishment, if he is sorry and regretful he is dealing with his own internal guilt and that will last him a lifetime. Good luck, been there. email me if you want to talk. Bye
592895
you shouldn't feel bad at all... and also let him know that you don't like his advances... he has to listen or he can get in trouble! in this situation, YOU'RE the boss!!!
451003
Firstly how long have you been married?\nSecondly has he acted like this before?\nIs your husband in a a lot of stress from work? Maybe he is venting on you - which is not fair on you! Does he have a problem with your friend that is coming? \nI cant seem to see any reason for this behaviour? Try dropping it for this weekend and do something else with your friend when they come. Maybe try to talk about it some other time - after a bit of time has passed - when he has calmed and you have gathered your thoughts as well. Point to note: he doesn't get violent on you does he?? Because that should not be tolerated AT ALL. Remember you are not a punch, physical or emotional. If this behaviour continues - he has no right to vent all his anger on you. That is not fair on you. \n\nIt is good that you want to work it out with your husband and I really hope that you do. Best of luck.
325737
Yes, sorry to say he misled you and used you. That was a scummy thing for him to do. Don't worry about your ex anymore, he knew how sensitive you are or were, so he played you for a puppet. As far as you marriage goes, if hubby forgives you, then you have to forgive yourself. The healing process begins with your inner self, then you can start working on your relationship. Sure you feel guilty having to bed in bed and knowing your husband wants you, but your not only punishing yourself, but punishing him. Take your time, let him know that you do love him, yes your love for your hubby will return, as soon as you stop thinking about your ex. Get mad about being happy with your ex, and turn that love and energy into your marriage, you may be surprised with the results. Best wishes.
1108904
Unless it is extremely over the top or all the time let it go.  You are at work and you need to leave your feelings at home.  People do things intentionally all the time that step on other peoples toes.  You just have to let it slide.  Save your feelings for your personal life.  Maybe your boss was just having a bad day or you pushed one of his buttons(we all have them).  If that is the case you could just make the situation worse, and if your boss is a jerk he really won't give a flying flip that your feelings were hurt.  Remember he, or maybe she, is the boss and you will be the one to lose a conflict and are more replaceable than someone higher up on the food chain.\nOh and if you boss is a jerk start looking for another job.
796520
The dishonesty will ruin your life.  You need to make a decision.  Your husband deserves to be with a woman who will honor him, and you can't lead a happy, healthy life with this type of deception.  Make up your mind who you want to be with, and commit to them.  Alternatively, you can choose to be single and see as many guys as you want.  It's up to you - just live with integrity so no one will be hurt.  I would also encourage you to seek counseling to figure out why you would set up such a destructive situation in your life.  You know that only bad can come of this, for all concerned.  You also need to protect the innocent party here - which is your husband.  If you feel the need for confession to ease your guilt, go to a clergyperson.  Do not hurt your husband, just to ease your mind.  I know you are going to do the right thing.  I can tell from your post.  We've all made mistakes in life.  The key is to recognize our mistakes, correct them, move on, and don't repeat them.\nGood luck and a big hug,\n-Ginger