relationship problems with sex?
351513
thats just a crazy and creepy situation...and doesn't sound good at all.  with time u can get over almost anyone...
852390
Get couples counseling. Perhaps if he heard it from someone else, he'd realize that his neanderthal view of sex is outdated and unfair, and you are miserable because of it.\n\nIf he won't get counseling and you said talking to him doesn't work, then you decide to stay and keep fulfilling your "obligation" or stand up for your rights and feelings, and don't have sex if you don't want it. Maybe if he had to go without for a while, he'd change his attitude a bit...\n\n...or maybe he'd stray or become violent...\n\n...or you can decide you've had enough, that it's not worth the conflict of standing up for yourself in the bedroom, and you can move on...\n\nYou are choosing to keep yourself in an unhappy situation...do what you can to fix it or get out...if you cannot fix it, then choose to resign yourself to your fate, or get out...\n\nThis life is too short (imo) to be unhappy in our jobs or personal lives...we choose to be happy or unhappy...we make our lives what we want them to be...\n\nWhat do you want yours to be? Make it so.
1131921
it's probably very normal at the beginning of a relationship, but I think after a time you need to do other things.  Every relationship needs stimulation, you have to have things to talk about, outings and events, activites outside of the bedroom to build a foundation for a varied and interesting relationship because sooner or later the sex will become less and less and then what are you left with?
1114030
Probably not 'most people' but certainly quite a few . \nI would say the problem is not very often due to physical weakness, but mainly can be put down to upbringing, some may have been taught that sex is only for 'true lovers' or it's not a very nice thing to do or even shouldn't be discussed.\nSome people may have had a very 'off putting' sexual experience!\nSo mainly it's all in the mind and having a really good chat with someone you trust could sort it out!!
107734
There are 2 things that can be done.  You must first ask yourself a question.  How important are my sexual needs?  Can I live without them?  If you are looking at getting your sexual needs fulfilled and your partner isn't satisfying them, then you need to talk to him/her about them.  If you have been patient and your partner still isn't willing to satisfy them and it's very important to you.  Then break up with him/her.  If you love him/her too much and are willing to sacrifice your satisfying your sexual needs then stay together.
1148204
instead of stopping to have sex, which is such a key element for so many poeple's relationships, you should find out what hurts.  sex should not be painful (but pleasurable).  perhaps if you fix YOUR problem, your relationship will continue to grow - instead of giving your boyfriend a problem.  please see a doctor righta way.
607541
I'm assuming you mean that sex isn't as much a part of your relationship as it used to be? That's the way it goes with relationships, at first you can't keep your hands off each other, but after a few months that calms down. The only way to keep that "new love" frequency it to get a new love every 4-6 months. Your alternative is to stick with the love you have now, and be happy that your relationship is morphing into something more substantial than mere physical desire.
915072
Maybe he is having problems preforming and he is insecure about it. I am 20 and my husband is 34 and we have been together for 2 years. Sometimes you still love each other and you still find one another attractive, but you just need a break from the sexual part of the relationship. Are you feeling pressure from the idea of marriage? Are you both stressed out in any way more than usual, maybe from planning a wedding? It all factors in, as long as you still love each other, it's OK. Sex isn't everything.
820879
If you really want to stay with this guy then you can work around the sexual problem.  There are many ways to gain your pleasure if you just play around a bit.  Step outside the box and do things a bit differently.  Always remember that the grass is not always greener on the other side.  Sounds like you have found a great guy.  We all have faults.  No one is perfect.  Good Luck!
430209
I've been there, so yeah. The problem I found wasn't that I enjoyed masterbation over sex, it was that I preferd masterbation to HER! The problem went away after she did.
1122297
Sit him down and develop a clear line of communication with him. You have to tell him how you feel and establish boundaries for what you are willing to do. You might want to give in to some of the simpler ideas, but he needs to understand that you don't want to be a human sex pretzel. Clear communication is what you need. If he can't understand have him take a good long look at your cast again. He needs to accept your feelings the same as you need to accept his, after that you compromise. That doesn't mean you give in, that means you look for an area in between that will work for both of you and go with that. Sex should NEVER result in broken bones!
31130
Enjoyment of Sex is a personal thing. do you have unreasonable expectations of your partner?\nDo you expect sex all the time? or are you married with children. Each root cause has a different answer. \nThe Married issue is actually the easier to resolve. this one revolves around the fact that as a parent you have so wraped your life around your children that you have forgotten how to find personal time for your Mate. this takes just a bit of planning. Start by asking your partner out on a date for some quiet time together. then rekindle the romantic fires on a timly basis. weather it's weekly, Bi-weekly or what ever works best. \n\nIf your not married then you have a deeper issue, It's hard then to answer this question with so little information. after all each person is unique and the responce needs to be for you as a person and not as a lab rat.
522842
You've already gotten a lot of good (and bad) responses.\n\nThe key to any relationship is communication. And I think this is obviously where you think you have some problems. I assume you guys are comfortable talking about everything else. \n\nFor one, you need to talk to him. Pour your heart out and let him know where you stand. After 5 years, things do get stagnent. He may think your sex life with each other is fine where it is. You need to share with him your desire to spice it up.\n\nSometimes what holds a guy back is stress. If you have an opportunity, get a babysitter for the night/weekend, cook him a romantic dinner, turn off the phones, play some relaxing music, and talk the night away. Give him a back massage. Let him know he is loved and that he's appreciated. Ask him what he would like in your sexual relationship from you, to spice things up. \n\nBring up some options: Role Play. Having sex in a different part of the house (having sex in the same bed for 5 years can get old). Getting dressed up. Watch a porno together. Have sex with the window shades open. Turn up some music. Turn off the TV. Candles. Clean sheets. Go dancing. Go on vacation. Go to a Bed & Breakfast. Go to the beach. \n\nI've also seen a statistic once out of Europe that found that men find their partners more attractive when the household chores have been done. This maybe more related to stress.\n\nThere is sooo much you can do to help spice up a sexual relationship, that I think you should make the first move.\n\nAlso, don't make him feel bad for any fantasies he has. He's a guy. Sometimes you can even play into his fantasy. If he wants to have a 3rd party, but you don't, then by all means do not. But you can pretend:\nOne night, while you guys are about to have sex. Undress him completly. Tie his hands to the bed post and blindfold him. Once you've done that, tell him that you have a surprise for him. Tell him you've invited a female friend over to join the two of you, but she doesn't want him to known who it is, so he must keep the blindfold on. Pay a neighboorhood kid a dollar to ring your doorbell. When it rings, cover him up in a sheet, and tell him to keep the blindfold on.\nThen you get changed into a lingerie, put on some different perfume, put on makeup, change your hairstyle, etc. Go to the bedroom and tell him you're letting your friend in and that you just want to watch. When touching him, change your style. Have fun. Remember, the brain is the largest sex organ.\n\nOnce you've gone through some sort of process to spice things for him, tell him your fantasies you'd like for him to help fulfill.\n\nBest of luck to you. If nothing else, just remember to "talk".
664540
yeah, love isnt all about sex. if that is all your relationship is then you need to find someone who will love you for you and not how you act in bed. someone out there will love you for you.
215750
It sounds like he's just really afraid of getting hurt.  I wouldn't say your relationship is only sex though, you've had some great deep coversations and have been friends for a long time.  I definately think there is the potential for a good relationship here.  The only thing is, he needs to be on board.  Don't try to force a relationship if he's not ready.  Talk to him about it, and try to gain his trust.  Sometimes when someone has closed themselves off for that long, they have a hard time opening up again.
501759
I think your man has issues...most of all, it sounds as if he is very insecure about his sexual performance.\n\nOften, when there are problems with sex, there are corresponding problems elsewhere in the relationship. \n\nI would want to ask you, are you happy with your relationship in other ways? If sex if the only area of your relationship that you are not satisfied with, then yes, it is worth giving him another chance. When you talk to him, it will help if you are very reassuring to him. Tell him the two of you are in this together and you would like to help him to work it out.\n\nIf there are other areas in the relationship that aren't working, I would say that you seriously need to consider leaving. Sex is not the most important part of a loving relationship. But if you feel that something is missing, you will be unhappy unless you resolve it one way or another. And that won't help you or your man.\n\nHope this helps and wishing you good luck.
768710
Well im in the same situation but my man tells me im a sex maniac,,,,that might be true but i have needs to when i want it i should be able to get it.  He says because we live together he doesnt want to do it all the time because things will get old fast. Well i dont agree...if he tried to change things up....which i would love to try new things there wouldnt be an issue. Im tired of initiating sex all the time,,,im 5 yrs older than him,,so whats his problem?? He cant keep up with me,,it gets very frusturating,,,i know exactly how you feel. All i can say is back off him for awhile and see how he likes it,,he will start to think somethings wrong then wont he??? Dont pay it any mind for awhile....take care of yourself until he gets the hint. Me being a very sexual person it really aggravates me. And no hes not cheating because we are always together when we arent working. We love eachothers company,,,but he says our relationship isnt all about the sex....grrr i know that but dam give me what i want.