Am i to blame if my ex commits suicide?
344607
OMG honey, hell no, you are NOT to blame if he is cowardly enough to do that!!!\n\nI am 35, I became a widow 1 month to the day after my 35th. birthday. It was July 3rd., 2005 when my husband committed suicide by drug overdose. My husband and I were separated once again. He was an alcoholic and had bipolar. I could not handle the nonsense any longer, I could not allow him to exhibit the behaviors in front of my 3 son's at home anymore. The emotional roller coaster rides & rare physical confrontations were just more than I could deal with. I asked him to leave mid June, he did. I no longer wanted to be with him, I had detatched long ago.\n\nHis family has placed the blame on me for his death. I have never felt I was responsible for his death, he did it, not me. Hell, I was not even with him when he did it, so how could I be responsible, right?\n\nDon't take him back just to prevent him from doing something so stupid, I did just that prior to his death, he still did it anyway at a later date. He had been in ICU for a month 9 months prior to his death for an attempt. It was simply so stupid and selfish of him, kids were involved. I really don't have a soft spot in my heart for those who whom take themself away from the ones that love them when all they had do was straighten up even if it meant involving a professional. \n\nThis will sound really cold, but if he is stupid enough to do it, at least your kids will receive social security until they are 19 yrs. & 2 months if they stay in school & 18 if they don't stay in school. So the kids will still receive the support needed to raise them. I am sorry, I know it sounded cold and I did not mean it to but I really can't stand people that are so selfish. \n\nGood luck!!!!
510572
Let me start by saying I am truly sorry about your loss. I have never gone through anything that horrible, and I don't know how you can even talk about it this openly. It takes true courage to come out and ask for help. Hopefully you will find it. This is my advice, don't think about it as your fault. If you sent her a letter that said how much you loved her, then clearly she didn't do what she did because of something hateful that you said, because by no means is that at all hateful. If she was an alcoholic and a drug abuser, then that is probably the reason. She might have been drunk, she might have been high, you can never really know for sure, but I know for a fact that she did NOT commit suicide because of you! Now, all you can do is remember all of the good times that you had with her, and forget the bad things. Ask her for your forgiveness. Yes, I know that she's not here anymore, but she will always be with you. So talk to her and make sure that she knows that you love her and miss her with all of your heart. And again, I am deeply sorry for your loss, you have my most deepest sympathy.
873260
he is basicly blaming u for all his mistakes, not once does he say "i am sorry for what i did" with out blaming u for his actions. this dude is messed up. he is still holding alot of resentment toward u.\nis he bi-polar because he is all over the place.
526282
you were very rude to her... you better call and say you are sorry for what you told her\neven if she is not going to kill herself.. \nnever say bad words to others ... it will hurt so badly and sometimes never get better.
502974
Maybe you should seek the advice of a medical professional to help you deal with your depression. They can help control you depression so that you may not be so hard on yourself. You are 21 and your life is just beginning. Have faith in yourself and believe that you can truly be happy. As far as the relationship, well, you will have to decide if what she did was so terrible that you just can't forgive her or trust her anymore. There can be no relationship without trust. It is okay to remember the good times that you had with an ex. It makes you remember what it was that made you want to be with them to start with. Do not let it dominate your thoughts. Get out, meet new people, hang out with friends. All of these will help you to start moving on with your life and faster than you think, it will not be so painful anymore. Good luck to you and I wish you much success in your efforts to move on!
583921
well is she worth fighting for what cause the break up, are you willing to take your blame as well, if not lick your wonds and dust your self off and get back to living, because life isnt going to wait on you it is going to keep going. with or with out you.
658325
I was in a similar situation years ago.  I posed this same question to a Buddhist monk and he thought about it a while and said to say that if you kill yourself, I must die too.  The problem with that is if the lady is mentally unstable, she might take you up on that.  Better get to a counselor with her to work through her issues.
1065913
I'm sorry that you are having such a bad time. You deserve better. You would be wise to visit a therapist to see why you are still with this fool. You should also visit an attorney to explore your options. In all likelihood you will be better off without him. Oh and as for God he's always listening. Just pray.
250901
No. Legally, you are responsible for him/her. Your only real course of actions would be to try and get relief of custody from the state.
1091368
Just move on.  Regardless of who was at fault, if she really wanted to rekindle your relationship, she would make an effort to do so.  Don't allow her to make you feel guilty because of her selfish motives.  Move on.  Life is too short to deal with difficult people.
1182410
There will be a police report of the incident, however if she was not taken in or treated for depression, or sent for a psychological evaluation, it will state in the police report that all was ok and it was just a concerned boyfriend who made the call. She won't have "suicidal maniac" stamped on her criminal record or anything- lay this to rest and quit worrying about it.
330926
You need to ask yourself what is it that doesn't please me? What is it in my life that is pulling me down so much? Is this guy what I really want or is he just filling in till I find something better? Then you need to quit blaming your X's death on yourself. He made that choice, he didn't half to but he did it. If I was you I would get into a church group or a social group and talk to someone that is specialized in this and maybe talking to them can help you understand things better.
439270
NO.  If you're unhappy enough to drown your sorrows in drink while blaming him, then this relationship is already over.  Sober up and get on with your life.
1067535
Yes, I have. I was hospitalized for suicide ideation and was diagnosed with depression (sounds weird but I had no idea I was clinically depressed!). I started taking anti-depressants and seeing a therapist regularly. They both have helped a lot.\n\nSuicide is one of the most selfish things you can do. You have SO many people around you who love you and care about you; your death will cause them lots of pain and heartache. I know, because I had a really good friend commit suicide a couple years ago.\n\nI can't tell from your question whether or not this is something that you're thinking about; if you are, I would suggest that you get some professional help. Working out the sorts of issues that are causing you to think about suicide may seem overwhelming, but there are plenty of supports out there for you.
851268
Okay, you asked how his wife died and then you asked why she committed suicide... you answered part of your own question.  Are you asking how she did it?  She used a gun and she had been depressed for years and one day just stopped fighting it.  Truly tragic.
119892
That is indeed a hard situation to find yourself in. You should not (though I know it is hard) feel guilty for his feelings. It is not, as you put it, "partially your fault." He is having a difficult time dealing with his grief, and rather than handling it rationally, he is trying to control you with this guilt he is dishing out. No one can MAKE another person feel anything. You didn't make him like this...life will always come with pain and loss. And that is why we are supposed to learn how to grieve. I had a boyfriend who was very much like this guy seems to be. When I broke up with him, he even at one point threatened to kill me because he didn't want anyone else to have me. Ultimately, i had to break contact with him. Because it was the only way I could "force" him to get over me. He hated me for it, but I would rather him be alive and "hating me" than to have him kill himself. I don't know if this is the answer for you, but you are not alone. If you think his threats are serious, you probably should tell someone who is very close to him...parents or someone. And if he makes threats and you believe them to be true, call the police. Trust me, my therapists have done it to patients whose lives they believed to be in danger. It sucks for them, but it is really the better alternative of the two. They will take him to a hospital and they will try to help him through it. \n\nThings will be ok...even though they are rough right now. Hang in there!
345684
This happened to me. My bf was a suicidal psycho and he blackmailed me into staying with him. I finally went to college 3000 miles away and told him on the phone it's over and didn't hear from him for 6 years. We now email occassionally and he's sorry for what a jerk he was, it's something we laugh over now. But back then, it was the most depressing thing in my life. I hope you get out of the bad relationship. You'll be happy you did.