My daughter does not want her dad at her 8th grad.  Should I invite him anyway?
343183
I think it's HER day and she's old enough to deal with her decision whether or not to invite him.  True, she may regret not inviting her dad - but that's for her to decide and then deal with.  She may NEVER regret it - and remember it as a special day she got to spend with YOU.  Respecting her wish will also prove to her that she is worthy of your trust and respect.  I do hope you have a "grown up" conversation with her about all of this - make her a part of the pros/cons discussion and final decision.\n\nGood Luck!
201893
something might be going on between the two of them - but lets hope not. he may just be trying to get in good with her so that she will approve of him - since she's ur daughter - yet ur daughter is disrespectful of u and he plays along with that. yet i think family comes first so i think u need to put this relashonship/friendship with ur "make friend" on hold. and u need to work thru things with ur daughter. was she acting like this before he came along? or did she start first acting like this when he came into the picture? she may really need u but she see's u puting some guy before her. i have 2 kids and i learned that no one will love my kids as much as i do. my kids felt neglected cuz my male friend was getting all my time and all my love. i seen the sadness if their eyes and i knew i had to let him go for the sake of my kids. but my kids r young. ur daughter is at a grown age. she may just dislike this one guy in particular. she may want u to find someone better. getting him to copy her by disrespecting u may be her way of getting u to finally kick him to the curb. but if ur daughter has always been disrespectful - even b 4 this guy came along - then u may just have to look over her.
799654
I'm assuming that the sibling is a half brother?\n\nNo, he doesn't have to be included, but you would certainly be a better person if YOU were to invite him.  Think about it...how would you feel if it were you that didn't have the father?
294767
this sound similar to what I went through. THe only difference is that my dad didn't step in. I pretty much grew up making mistates and learning from them on my own. I don,t recommend this at all. Get involved with her. Don't punish cause at this age they think that parents don't know any thing. Try to spend quality time with her and gradually talk about whats going on in her life. Remind her that you love her and want the best for her. Let her know that for any reason, you are there for her. Somewhere in your conversations ask her about her boyfriend. Even if you have to pretend, make her think that you see where she is coming from. 16 year olds need to know that their dad will be there for all of their life, even the mistakes. My dad just pretty much let me live and learn. I think I turned out o.k. but I still wish I would of had the guidance from my dad. My mom died when I was 10 and it was really hard for him, but he did not seek help. I really hope that things get worked out. Don't give up and try your best to be involved with your CHILD. She is still your child. The mom needs a good talking to. She is alot of the reason that your daughter is doing what she is doing. Explain your concerns and she is you can meet in the middle some where or at least come to some understanding on why this is not appropriate. She has alot of influence on her. Good luck.  Contact me and let me know how it goes.
726879
You can't tell your daughter's father to stay out of her life, because this will create a lot of drama between the two of you! It seems to me that he doesn't want to take responsibilities for his actions and doesn't want to be involved in her life! I agree with you; not only is he hurting his daughter by not being there in her life, but he's hurting himself as well. What he's doing now will be full of deep regret later on in life! If he doesn't want to be in his daughter's life, let him continue to pay child support! Besides, as your daughter grows up in the years to come, she will learn more about her father and won't show any respect for him! Good luck to you and I wish you and your daughter the best!
1130859
You can do a few different things - tell her the truth that you are scared of her dad, make up some reasons why you can't stay over,  or just invite her to your house even though your parents think she's weird.\nHonesty is usually the best way to go - you could try staying at her house one night and seeing how it is - if you don't like it you don't have to stay there again, it's just one night.  You might be surprised to find that her dad is a really nice person or if worse comes to worse and you still don't like him then just tell her the truth and don't stay there anymore.\nJust because your parents think she's weird doesn't mean you shouldn't have her over to your house.
839575
Just ignore him and keep hanging with your friends.  If he keeps it up then maybe you should go talk to the principal, even though it's his dad, he still has a responsibilty for other students in the school!
474090
Tell him that if he really wanted to "just get to know" them it is inappropriate to discuss his financial and living situations. Tell him if his intentions are good to meet in neutral area like having lunch with her in a public place where they can ask each other questions etc.\n\nMaybe his intentions are good, but like you I would be sceptical. It sounds to me he is too much like his father.
952822
Gee that kind of makes the daughter the boss of his life. Guess I would sure he gets it and if he chooses to let his daughter "run" his life you may want to rethink your involvement with him. :o(
212873
Very gently!  lol  Some children depending on their age may resent a new person coming into their dads life.  They may see it as a threat to their relationship with him.  Also alot of kids hang on to the idea that maybe someday their parents will get back together- even years down the road- so they put up a struggle and not want to accept this person in their lives.  Introduce them and take it day by day.  explain that they are NOT there to replace their mother.  That she will be here as a friend to them.  Good Luck
771957
My ex-husband does see my daughter (3yr) but definitely not as often as I would like him to and esp not as much as my lil girl would like to see or hear from him for that matter. She has said things to me like "Daddy doesn't like me" and other random comments that should never come out of a child's mouth esp at that age. It literally breaks my hear to her think such things and it drives me crazy for the fact that I am powerless to do anything about it. I have made several attempts to tell him that he needs to spend more time with her and even told him what shes been saying...The girl has called my dog Daddy and even one of my female friends...You would think that would've been a wake up call to him but it wasnt. So I always tell her that he loves her very much and that he's just at work right now and would be here to see her if he could. I know it's a lie (well at least that he's at work and coming to see her) but the child does not need to know he choices and actions and if he continues on this path, she will learn it on her own in time. Don't say anything to a child this young about his father not wanting to see him. It will just hurt him and he doesnt deserve that. As much as it will probably kill you to do, just say positive things and at least for now make this child really believe that his father does love him and is there for him at least in spirit. It is your job to make this child happy and I know it is a tough burden to put up a facade to your lil one for someone who doesn't deserve this child's love or attention but it is his father and you have to do what's right. Once again I am deeply sorry that you are going through this and I am esp sorry that your son has to go through this too. I sincerely hope that his father comes around for him and stops being a selfish inconsiderate asshole. Good luck and please be strong not only for you, but for your son...youre all he's got and you need to be the better person in this.:)
909414
hello, It would be beneficial for you to sit down with your daughter and talk to her about her dad. Please for her sake, try to understand her point of view about her dad, he may have mistreated you and her, but ultimately he is her dad, and she may be struggling with abandonment issues, and hurting so much that she is self sabotaging your relationship with her, to prove to herself that no one cares, and that everyone is unrealiable. \nIt is confusing for her but if you can not portray your negatity about your ex, or that situation, and try to remain nuetral... allow her to talk to you about her feelings , she'll gain respect for you and will listen to your rules in time. \nIt is clear that she is trying to manipulate you, and she may be playing on your heart strings, " Mom won't do anything, cuz she doesn't want to loose me." \nIt is hard as a mother, because we are not portrayed as authoritative, but you need to stand your ground no matter how much she laments, and cries, hollars... don't give in. If she doesn't do something she needs to be shown that there are consequences to her negative actions. \nAsk who her friends are, and when they come over, quiz them, ask them " so where do you live? what does your mom and dad do? " Chat them up in a friendly manner so she doesn't realize it's the third degree, and her friends will say " Hey your mom is cool!" They'll want to hang at your house, and you'll be able to keep a better eye on her.
170731
Concerning the teacher talk to her and tell her how her blatant disregard and disrespect for your plans bother you. Try to discuss with her how you two can come to a middle ground and an agreement about what to do with the children and activities for them. Concerning you dad you REALLY need to consult your family physician QUICKLY!!!
1129131
Ask your dad if you can invite them. You dont have to have them eat with you. and if you want to invite your friends go ahead! if they want to invite someone with them tell them i just want you not them. and tell them that i ONLY invited you. so if they bring unwanted guqest kick them OUT!!
417877
If it was an older man and younger woman no one would bat an eye.  I say if your both happy, enjoy it and ignore everyone.  Life is too short.  Tell her if she doesn't let you see the grandson, the courts DO give visitation to grandparents.  Good luck to you.
1044400
The kids shouldn't meet dad's new gf until hes sure that shes going to be sticking around for a long time.  Its not good to introduce kids to a bunch of gf because if they end up liking one then they break up then the kids have to deal with not being able to see that girl anymore.
20553
If you love the woman get married. My dad is going to get married and i dont like the woman but i id do anything to make my dad happy. Im 17 and shes been with me since i was 8 i think. I still dont like her. if you are loving and raise the child right i think hell accept you as a member of the family. He may never "love" you but dont take it the wrong way. I dont love anyone in the world except my dad and thats because hes been with me all my life. Do what ur heart tells you. I also suggest speaking with the childs mother and try to end this animosity. its useless to badmouth you when youre in love and are going to go through with your new life.