why does the chicken cross the road?
345332
Why did the chicken cross the road?\n(http://www.madore.org/~david/misc/chicken.html)\n\nKINDERGARTEN TEACHER: To get to the other side. \n\nPLATO: For the greater good. \n\nARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross roads. \n\nKARL MARX: It was a historical inevitability. \n\nTIMOTHY LEARY: Because that's the only trip the establishment would let it take. \n\nSADDAM HUSSEIN: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it. \n\nRONALD REAGAN: I forget. \n\nCAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before. \n\nHIPPOCRATES: Because of an excess of phlegm in its pancreas. \n\nANDERSEN CONSULTING: Deregulation of the chicken's side of the road was threatening its dominant market position. The chicken was faced with significant challenges to create and develop the competencies required for the newly competitive market. Andersen Consulting ,in a partnering relationship with the client, helped the chicken by rethinking its physical distribution strategy and implementation processes. Using the Poultry Integration Model (PIM), Andersen helped the chicken use its skills, methodologies, knowledge, capital and experiences to align the chicken's people, processes and technology in support of its overall strategy within a Program Management framework. Andersen Consulting convened a diverse cross-spectrum of road analysts and best chickens along with Anderson consultants with deep skills in the transportation industry to engage in a two-day itinerary of meetings in order to leverage their personal knowledge capital, both tacit and explicit, and to enable them to synergize with each other in order to achieve the implicit goals of delivering and successfully architecting and implementing an enterprise-wide value framework across the continuum of poultry cross-median processes. The meeting was held in a park-like setting enabling and creating an impactful environment which was strategically based, industry-focused, and built upon a consistent, clear, and unified market message and aligned with the chicken's mission, vision, and core values. This was conducive towards the creation of a total business integration solution. Andersen Consulting helped the chicken change to become more successful. \n\nLOUIS FARRAKHAN: The road, you see, represents the black man. The chicken `crossed' the black man in order to trample him and keep him down. \n\nMARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.: I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question. \n\nMOSES: And God came down from the Heavens, and He said unto the chicken, ``Thou shalt cross the road.'' And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing. \n\nFOX MULDER: You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens have to cross the road before you believe it? \n\nRICHARD M. NIXON: The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did NOT cross the road. \n\nMACHIAVELLI: The point is that the chicken crossed the road. Who cares why? The end of crossing the road justifies whatever motive there was. \n\nJERRY SEINFELD: Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn't anyone ever think to ask, What the heck was this chicken doing walking around all over the place, anyway? \n\nFREUD: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity. \n\nBILL GATES: Our soon-to-be-released Chicken '98 will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook. \n\nOLIVER STONE: The question is not, ``Why did the chicken cross the road?'' Rather, it is, ``Who was crossing the road at the sametime, whom we overlooked in our haste to observe the chicken crossing?'' \n\nDARWIN: Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected in such a way that they are now genetically disposed to cros
495899
To get the Chicken back
781358
The question should be, "What's the difference between a dead chicken and a dead trombone player laying in the middle of the road?"\n\nThe answer?\n\nThere is a slight possibility that the chicken was on his way to a gig.
450134
Which way is the rooster facing? Left or right.\n\n\n\n\n\n\n(The rooster is actually an crossdressing hen.)
403961
Cuz he was stuck in the chicken!
127163
And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.
964138
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Why_did_the_chicken_cross_the_road\n\nThere are various stories of it's origin...
1049788
The chicken, that crossed the road, to chuck wood with the woodchuck.
841371
Chicken was looking for a Pecker to Peck
799350
Chickens pre-date roads.\nThus we can assume that there were no roads to cross for the first chicken (which evolved from a slightly different species) hen it laid the first 'chicken' egg\n\non a side note why are there so many chicken road crossing jokes when I never see a chicken on the road...lol Oh I get it =)
69853
nothing, its just that its hatched by different kinds of chickens. that is it.thanks for the points!
305788
No, no no..\n\nThe chicken crossed the road because, the UN slapped sanctions on him, saying if he didn't cross the road, then he was no longer going to be able to eat. But when they discovered the chicken could fend for himself, they threatened air strikes over his farm..so, he decided to go ahead and cross the road.
485020
Because it took him to the other side of the road and he knew better than to use the road since the chicken got flattened on that.\n\nThis is hilarious.  The most asked question and you can't even get it right LMFAO.  Or are you claiming aardvarks prefer rods over roads?
1009927
Don't let it cross the road?
160063
cause all chickens do is duck there heads down\n    duh
29460
In this scenario the Egg.  The chicken must have crossed the road to get away from the egg, because the egg came first and failed to satisfy the chicken.
677135
Why did the chicken cross the road?:\n\nPAT BUCHANAN: To steal a job from a decent, hardworking American.\n\nDR. SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes! The chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed, I've not been told!\n\nERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die. In the rain.\n\nMARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.: I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.\n\nGRANDP A: In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.\n\nARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.\n\nKARL MARX: It was a historical inevitability.\n\nSADDAM HUSSEIN: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.\n\nRONALD REAGAN: What chicken?\n\nCAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.\n\nFOX MULDER: You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens have to cross before you believe it?\n\nMACHIAVELLI: The point is that the chicken crossed the road. Who cares why? The end of crossing the road justifies whatever motive there was.\n\nFREUD: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.\n\nBILL GATES: I have just released eChicken 98, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken.\n\nEINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the chicken?\n\nBILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by chicken? Could you define chicken please?\n\nIMMANUEL KANT: The chicken was acting out of a sense of duty to cross the road, as chickens have traditionally crossed roads throughout history.\n\nTHE BIBLE: And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the chicken, Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.\n\nCOLONEL SANDERS: I missed one?\n\nRICHARD M. NIXON: The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did not cross the road. I don't know any chickens. I have never known any chickens.