how to handle a suppressive father?
345813
i think the best way would be is to go with what he asks you to do, but never let him get to you. agree to whatever he tells you, but do what you want anyways on your own account.. or with out him knowing.. more or less just letting things flow so u can live at peace. if this approach doesnt work, try discussing things with him, see his point of view and try to understand it, maybe there is a reason as to why he doesnt want you to do certain things. if also this approach doesnt work, save money, work hard, have patience and move out... all in all i think u should be strong and handle this smartly, cause if you rebel hell just be as suprpessive and controlling as he can get. try to work your way to get your peace of mind.. remember that.
1002439
i know it may be awkward, but i have an overprotective father too and  just talk to him. do not get defensive though. you could say something like "dad i know you're worried about me, and i really appreciate you looking out for me, but i need you to trust me. i know you might be worried that i'll be pressured into doing something i don't want to or i'm not ready for and i can tell you right now that will not happen." you just really need to open up to him and more importantly, listen to what he has to say. ask him why he seems worried. if you havent already, invite the guy over to have dinner with your parents. if he has just been coming over and hasn't sat down with them, they would probably be a little suspicious. make sure he brings flowers or something to eat, parents love that!! good luck!!
448423
You know your son. You know if he respects you as the authority figure he truly honors. You know in yourself if pleasing you is important and disappointing you is something he really does not want to do. If that is the case, as much as you are tempted, don't spy on him. Be ready in any case to intervene should things get inappropriate, if they do. On the other hand, if the relationship with your son is strained and he does not appreciate his parents, then the battle is already lost. If you move to spy or stop him, then he'll move the activity somewhere else where you are not.
735796
Nothing to do. Be thankful you had home, family and foot on the table. Father who never exist for you just never was.\nWhat is and was in your heart is the only truth to accept.\nKeep the wonderful memory of your childhood and be happy to have family. Never judge your parents, they did and sacrifice and dedicate own life for the best for you.\nI wish you never know about your "real" father but she owns you to know the truth. Don't feel bad just be understandable. Get over.
764893
Family counseling, and some alcohol classes for your father. Research those options.
855756
Wow...I'm so sorry that your father is acting this way towards you. Since your an adult now, you have a choice to make. Cursing him out, no matter how satisfying that may be, really isn't going to help out your situation. If anything, all it will do, in his little brain,is prove him right. Hopefully your not living with him still. Because you need to on your own if at all possible, to put some distance between the both of you. It's so unfortunate that as someones child, YOU have to act as the 'mature-responsible-adult'. You have to be the one to set the example that his behavior is unacceptable, and your not going to stoop to his very lowly level and reflect what he is doing to you. He sounds like a very bitter man, and again I feel for you and your situation. If your able to find a good counselor to talk to, that may be of great benefit to you to help you work through this crap that he's dumped on you so that you do not feel as though it's your fault or that you deserve to be treated this way. The way a father treats his daughter, will greatly and directly effect the men she chooses to have in her life. I hope you know that you deserve better treatment from men, and that even through all this you still have a choice to make. Man, if I could just have 5 minutes with jerks like that....
193035
Do not get physically involved.\n\nIn a loud, firm and authoritative voice, demand that the man release the child.\n\nState:  "I am calling the police!" and do so.\n\nIf there are other people around, get them involved.\n\n"Sir, would you please wait with me until the police arrive"\n\n"Ma'am, please note the license number of this vehicle.\n\nAt no time do you converse with the man, ignore him and control the situation until lthe police arrive.\n\nIf the man is the child's father, that doesn't mean that he has a right to abuse or abduct the child.\n\nIf you're wrong, apologize.  What's he gonna do, sue you?\nHe doesn't want the type of headlines that would go with that.
993255
take him to court to, get full  custody ,and point out the:\n no support and no contact of several years and now sudden contact. and joint custody becaues you want to move and get married. the baby`s sperm donor is being spitful. and does not want you to have a life of your choice..you can provied a better life for your daughter..
187709
Time heals. I was in a similar situation some years ago, and when I eventually spoke to someone else who had spoken to him 'near the end' I found out that a Father's love did not seek to judge me - just wanted me to have a good life after he had gone. He was of the opinion that we all have to go sometime and family guilt achieved nothing but took a lot away. Let the guilt lift as time goes by. I feel sure He would have wanted you to.\n\nHave a nice life.
886607
You definitely have to sit down with your Dad, and explain to him.Did we have this much trouble before Grandma came to live with us. I need to talk to you. Don't forget this must be hard for your dad also, its his mother and no one wants to go against there Mom, especially when they are getting old, Your father may be stressed out also.  So you have to get this out in the opening with no yelling and screaming. Good Luck  (isn't there any other kids that can take her)
114250
First of all the father of the child has parents, making them grandparents.  Take the hild to see them.  Be polite no matter what.  THey may be shocked.  Second of all, get your act togetehr the best you can, maybe with their help.  If daddy is in prison, you have a lot against you.  But you can rise above it if you work very hard.
333348
Hmmmm...tough question.  Have you confronted him about the problem and given him the chance to straighten up?  If you haven't then I'd say that you need to confront him straight up with the facts, nothing more.  Anger won't help to do anything but give him the evidence he needs to secure his argument.  If you have talked about it before, I'd say it's time to split.  I realize that your son will have trouble with that, but if you want to, you can arrange for some kind of visitation, so his "daddy" isnt suddenly gone from his life.  That way, the two of them can still have their "playtime" but at the same time the constant aggrivation and anger.
1028012
Think like a soldier. When you have an impassable problem what do you do? You still get past it. That is what you must do. Have you told him of your fears? I tell ya what, if your kids are all okay with it, then you better hold on to him, that's rare! Go for it!
493382
If it's best to avoid any more emotional entanglement, you are gonna have to play it cool.  Be polite, very polite.  Most people recognize that means there are barriers.\n\nBest solution:  find yourself another guy.  Learn to appreciate that he your baby's daddy... and that is all.
46314
Give your children all the love you can and forget the loser that walked out of their life. Same thing happened to me. Father left when they were very young and never came back. If the father does a huge turn around and becomes worthy to provide them the love they need then you might consider easing him back into their life some time down the road. In the mean time be happy and live your life the best you can. Only thing you can really do. If you feel your children really need a man figure in their life maybe a grandparent or big brother program could fill the gap?
121789
Tell him that his kids need him. Statistics show that children with father figures in their life are far less likely to become criminals then those without. If all else fails find a better man
761277
i so feel for you, best bet is to go back to the courts and ask for a child welfare assessment..........that way they will talk to you, talk to him [the father] and talk to the child as best as he can.........at the best they might even come and observe a hand over from you to the dad............state that it is NOT your intention to keep them apart but the emotional trauma you have to deal with taking him and then the aftermath of the child being so upset is really not worth it.................just a question but WHY was they supervised at first and who decided that should change ???