My best friend's husband passed away almost a year ago....?
342009
Well first you have to understand her relationship with her husband he must have done everything for her to where she never had to think or any thing. That or in her strive to keep her lonelyness from over comming her she does not want to replace her mate with another man because in her eyes there never could be one so she includes you, her friend, in making a decision like she would her husband, not that she wants you for a mate, but because the comradery is almost as close and for her that is easing her pressure of what do I do now. Every human accepts the lost of a parent easier than a loved one because we learn at an early age that our parents pass before we do its a natural thing but in a relationship we tend to assume "now we will never be alone again" so when we do loose someone in an untimely fashon were not ready to be alone and it really is crushing so try and be patient and don't be afraid to talk about it either like for example when she asks your opinion on something look at her and say "you really miss him don't you" that way it gets her to think that asking your opinion is something she would do with him and as for your opinion tell her this is the first time in her life when it should be her opinion and just her personality so she can find out who she really is and what she really likes with no out side opinion. You know it gives her the impression that it could actually be fun to find out who she really is for once there for giving her a reason to live and a new project in life "Lets find out who I really am"\n   It's a small pill for a big pain but you are her strong point and she sees you handleing things better and she wants to do it too your her friend, and she needs guidance. It's Ok to be needed for guiding someone away from there pain. and you seem to be doing a good job.
194237
honey i didn't lose my father and i don't know of any online groups, but my best friend recently lost her brother whom i knew, and i know how hard it is to go through something like that and i really do feel bad for you very much so, i'm not like one of those people who says they're sorry about a death and then skips away. it actually affects me, you know? well okay bye now and i hope you get through this!
62624
talk to him and let him to talk ... if he is your best friend he will trust you . iam sure he had a hard life , let him know that you are there for him to help\ngive him love and suport let him know that past is past and now he is safe\nGood Luck
186484
I am so very sorry for your lose. But as the saying goes, Time heals all wounds. And No, I am not trying to be funny. It will take time and as that time passes, keep in mind that your bestfirend is in a far better place and holding a seat for you when your time comes. When you can sit down and have a conversation with your friend. You'd be amazed at how well this works at times. I truly believe that your conversation will be heard. It will also help if you sit down with another friend who also knew this bestfriend. Maybe not as well or as close as you were, but someone who knew your bestfriend. It does help to bring closer.
613077
This was on Oprah today... Even tho they were married, but anyway...\n\nYes, your friend was not your friend.. A true, BEST friend would NEVER even consider it.  Give the "friend" and the "boyfriend" up and find new ones. You are better than that, and there are so many more people to meet! You are worth it!  Don't lower your standards for people who don't care about you and how you feel.  Never settle.  Good luck honey!
465387
its always painful to lose a close friend....i'm sorry that you did...but keep your head up and hold the memories that you guys had together close to you....and if its possible let things between you guys cool off and talk...you regret if it you dont
854669
Yeah, I understand, hon.  It's tough to lose a dad. I lost my dad when I was 24, and it wasn't easy for me either.  Was your dad ill, or was his death sudden?  We don't know why God chooses his special people to be with Him, but know that wherever he is, your dad is watching over you, protecting you from harm, and loving you.  Meantime, talk things over with your mom, and your brothers and sisters if you have any, or even your friends.  Talking about the good times you had with your dad really helps.  In time, the pain will be a lot less, and you'll just be left with good memories.  My thoughts and prayers are with you.  Good luck and God Bless!
876491
spend as much time with him as you can before he passes, you will appreciate that later....after grief however you please and get on with you life instead of dwelling on his death...more than likely it is what he would want and im sure he'd be proud of you
689592
Friends........ wow there isn't even a good enough word for them. I myself have lots of friends, a few good ones, and 1 BEST BEST friend. Sadly my BEST BEST friend died suddenly on March 5th. And this has made me realize how special and important she was to me and in my life. She was a wonderful influence on me and pretty much made me who I am today, seeing as how I was 8 when I became best friends with her and am 13 now. She died at the age of 15. I miss her so much, I can't even put it into words. She was the only person that ever actually knew everything about me. I think friends know us better then our family. Because we tell friends stuff we don't tell our moms, dads, sisters, or brothers. They are truly angels in our lifes. It just takes some time to realize it.
852221
You are so lucky to have each other at this time. I believe you are a gift to each other. I had friends in a similar position as you are in now. They both decided to take everything one day at a time and enjoy every thing including their love each and every day. They went through, thick and thin together in increasing love, for 3 years longer than doctors had predicted. The surviving friend, years later, has told me several times how they would have suffered a much greater loss if they had not been dedicated to each other in love for as long as possible.
131165
No. At one time those 2 people were connected in a close way. It shows that your spouse is a caring person and he will mourn your passing if you go before him. \n\nI suppose it might be a bit of human nature for jealousy to come into play, however, you won't be doing yourself any favors by expressing that to him. You won't look good either. Keep in mind, he's with you and his expression of mourning just means he's human. Don't make it harder on him by making him feel that he can't talk to what should be the closest person in his life (you) because he's afraid to upset you.
878062
Try finding him on myspace. I just found my best friend from over 20 years ago by her daughters myspace account. And a friend of mine found me the same way. Just a thought if nothing else pans out.
732853
I have not lost a parent. I have lost a brother. We were approx. 12 months apart in age. He died drinking and driving when I was 20 and he was 19. I was devastated, but never cried about it. He and I had talked about death but not our own. There isn't a day goes by I don't think about him. I am sad, on the inside, but not depressed. I can talk about him with great pride and conviction without crying a drop. And about the loss..... is there anyway to describe the feeling of emptiness and loss? No, but we can not dwell on what we can not change. I do know that my life would be completely different if he were here. I moved 1000 miles from home, just to get away from the sadness, it didn't help. But it did change the whole direction of my life. I will not say that it is a mental illness to have feeling like this, but it is very difficult to express the way you truly feel. I try not to talk about it but feel better when I do. His birthday was last week 10/25. Mine is today.
361070
that is how life is, people come in and leave our lives, but since he is your best friend and you do love him let him go and encourage him to make a new life for himself, and you do the same, I know you are hurting but it will subside.  A wise man told me that if you can count all your best friends on one hand then consider yourself very lucky.
584505
I'm in my 50s, so many, including two best friends.  I lost one at the age of 41 to heart failure related to diabetes and one at 52 due to uterine cancer.  You expect to lose those older than you, but it is hard to lose those younger.  It is  also hard to lose a friend as it really makes you realize your own mortality and how short and precious life is.
629634
Honey, I feel for you.  My mom passed away suddenly 13 years ago.  First thing you've got to do is of course get thru the visitation and funeral.  Give yourself some time to come to grips with this.  I highly recommend that you seek out some sort of grief counseling.  My dad, sister, and I did this about 6 weeks after my mom died, and it really helped alot.  It's up to you whether you choose individual counseling or group, but make sure to do one or the other.  It'll really help you out.  Also, find people to talk to, the more you talk, the better you will be able to work thru all this.  My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.  God Bless You.
411694
My husband and I were married for just short of 4 years and together for a total of 12 when he passed away. Having been widowed for just over a year, I feel that I am at least qualified to offer my opinion on this subject. \n\nI have just started to think about dating here in the last month. It is difficult to say the least and you do have a tendency feel as though you are cheating on your spouse. \n\nThat being said, you have to think about what your husband would have wanted for you...would he really want you to spend the rest of your life pining away for him? And should the shoe have been other foot, what would you have wanted for him? These questions we must ask ourselves. \n\nAll things come in good time and grief and grieving are no exception it can take years to heal or it can take months, alot depends upon the type of death, be it unexpected or terminal illness. \n\nComing from the perspective of terminal illness, I can honestly say that a lot of my grieving was done prior to the actual event taking place. That, however does not mean that I don't miss my husband, I do, daily. But, we had these conversations for over 2 years and I knew what he wanted me to do. He felt I was too young and vibrant to spend the rest of my life alone and made me promise that when I felt ready, I would seek out another relationship. And to me, that spoke volumes regarding the depth of his love for me.