why am i not shy around women at work but shy everywhere else?
346046
i would guess because you're comfortable at work.  you're all on equal terms.  but when you go to, say a bar, you are there to meet women and so insecurity creeps up.
1018730
Shy people are often stronger for their childhoods.  I just read an article about shy CEOs, who would much rather be at home by themselves then schmoozing at a party.  I was shy growing up and I think the difference that I saw as a girl was that, my inntroverted nature often led me to be seen as a bitch.  I didn't talk to people a lot so they assumed I thought I was better then them, when in reality I was just shy.  There are character aspects that shy people admire about ougoing people and vise versa.  Outgoing people are just more vocal about putting shy people down because often times they wish they could be more reflective.
482125
Well, it seems she is comfortable talking about the subject.\n\nI would suggest you ask her if she'd like to have lunch, or coffee, or some other casual/private get together.  NO PRESSURE. Then, you can feel your way through the situation.  See how comfortable you are with her, get to know her better... TAKE IT SLOW.\n\nIt sounds like you may be younger, and (obviously) don't have experience in this area, so I would advise caution... you don't want to get your heart trampled on, or feel ashamed or embarrassed at work.\n\nI wish you much luck, and keep in mind that you don't have to be 100% one or the other... love who you want to love, and who loves you back.\n\nALWAYS BE SAFE ABOUT IT!
185996
Don't feel self conscious about it. I do it all of the time.Sometimes i prefer to be alone so that i can leave when i want or stay as long as i like.Find a bar where lots of after work people meet .I bet you will see you are not the only one who comes alone.Also I  have met lots of interesting people this way.If it is still uncomfortable maybe you could find a co-worker that would want to stop too.It does not look bad to me when i see someone come in alone.At all.But I do remember feeling the same way you do when i first started stopping by myself.
451733
not anyone at work that you know is single or divorced?\nperhaps at church?(if you are a church going person)\nor perhaps ask your fellow female friends if they know someone who is available(remember to ask if the gent is stable(mentally)lol....need to be carefull out there!....\n              good luck!
992953
Yes!  I don't know what anybody else is thinking, but I don't think they are trying to be nice to you.  Maybe you should reconsider who you are sleeping around with....  work is not the best place to be meeting people for relationships like that.  \n\nCheers!
1064485
How about anything that will put you in social situations. Im not saying that to be mean, Im just saying that shyness is not something you need to just live with. Break free of it. I was extremely shy just a few years ago. I overcame this by becoming an xray tech. I know its not a glamorous job, but I it has helped. When you are around people screaming in pain all day long, the last thing on your mind is saying the wrong thing. I can talk freely to anyone now. Think about it.
1147988
dont think shyness is some kind of shortcoming in ur personality.it looks beautiful on a gal.but no doubt,it shouldnt be in excess.if u feel its so,start facing the people around you.speek to them but only in ur confidence limits so that u dnt keep thinking afterwards that u did some blunder.that wud hamper ur confidence next time.take out from ur mind that u really have some reason to feel shy b4 others.if u have some complex,remove it coz u r unique n no one is like u.when u go out, be in active mood.keep thinking about the things around u .analyze them.dnt think how do u look but look at other things and people that how they look n what do they convey.that will keep ur mind and body busy in thinking smthing productive.automatically ur appearance will look smart n confident coz ur body manifests ur mind.think good look good.\nall the best
795114
=sounds to me like she has a serious attitude problem or has a lot on her plate going on right now.  You could drive her crazy with your kindness while having a good laugh inside and perhaps the two of you will end up being friends at some point.  Invite her out for a couple of beers after work, just as friends and you may be surprised at what you learn. and find out she is really a nice person after all.  Bottom line here is that you need to adjust your attitude toward her as well if you are to continue working with her.  Good luck.
530718
Perhaps your personality is not all that outgoing and you lack the social skills to get or maintain conversation.  Join something that you have to interact with other people and do other things to ease into the swing of things.  \nYour looks are the book cover, you want women to stop and read the rest of your book.
1106940
I can completely understand.  I don't work in an office, but my mind travels to intimate moments too...  The question you need to ask yourself is Why?  Is it because you're just daydreaming?  could be you don't find your job challenging enough.  Is it something missing in your personal life?  Perhaps you need to take care of "business" before going to work.  I know that always helps me.
155817
I find that my self conscienceness doesn't allow me to trust many.  I am 35 and still very quiet and shy.  Close friends are very far and few between.  I only have 1 best friend and I can joke with just about anyone @ work.  But when in public, I am very submissive and self conscience.  I do believe that it henders my ability to have a lot of aquaintances, but I enjoy my alone time and I do not want a bunch of people up in my business.  It is a hard thing to overcome and if people stop talking to you and  give you the "cold shoulder" if you will, then they don't deserve to have your attention,..
364394
They did not want to hurt your feelings. Women dont like to be point blank rude or cruel---women psychology\n\nAt the same time they expressed through action that they are not interested in your company\n\nSolution---work upon your personality and make yourself interesting
786674
I see nothing wrong with that. It's great to have friends or buddies at work. I hang out with my co workers outside of work often. We have different parties and we go out to eat (just us girls) and have some drinks. Go with it. Have fun and good luck.....SAM
432958
People here have given some decent advice but here's the real deal. There is no shame in being shy. the shame is in not doing anything about it. u hafta attack it head on. start slowly by getting comfortable conversing with women u are attracted to. Talk about any and everything as the situation presents itself. Through this conversing you will know whether it's in your interest to take it to the next level. examples:If she is smiling and looking at u intently as u talk, asking questions she's probably interested. If she seems distant, not asking questions or responding with one or two word answers she's probably not.\nGot it??
493510
It happens to me many times, usual for men dominated area. I don't think it will be harmful to take their invitation, as long as you really know them and lunch in public places (restaurants). The most important is don't let them focus on sexist jokes and never use obvious physical contacts. Based on my experience, they do respect female colleagues, and I find it more advantage of being female among males, they put us in priority :))
439462
First of all you can not make someone like you. And I am not sure why you would want to.\nGo about your work like you do not notice. I had a girl at work not that long ago that didnt like me. She was very open about it and it got to the point where she wouldnt talk to me. In our workplace we HAVE to communicate. But she wouldnt. I just kept on talking to her acting like I didnt realize she was trying to ignore me and not talking to me. I still got my job done and honestly it annoyed her which made me feel better hahahaha!\n\nAct like you do not know they are behaving like children. If people want to act like that on their own time that is their business. But I am at work to do my job and if they do not want to be my friend that is fine...I am not there to make friends. However in the work place I am going to be professional about it.\nAll you can do is be the bigger person and make sure your work is not effected by your concern over their behavior.