i have never had sex with any guy since the day i got married but still that urgeness is in me.......?
341034
Firstly, why did you get married and you're bi? i mean you're not sure of sex you like more, i find that's its wrong more wrong than being homosexual just because its unfair to your wife and to "your best friend" choose one or none. Does your wife know you're bi-sexual? You need to be honest with yourself-as to what u like,if you don't know or can't choose then you need to be honest with your wife now before its too late... I've seen thing like this destroy families and i affects the children. Make your decision before it's too late.
522736
Please, please, please wait. It is so important. My husband was a virgin when we married and I wasn't. I wanted to have my virginity back so badly when we married but it was too late. Our honeymoon was great but it was bittersweet because I had to deal with the regret of him not being my first. It could have been the best experience of my life. And everything else counts too. I wish I wouldn't have even held hands, kissed, or anything like that until I married. It would have been so special. Please save it for marriage.
455280
You're most likely just nervous.  A good way to "check yourself" in terms of sexuality is to track the very last thing you think about when you.... er... take matters into your own hands, and are alone.  Not 30 seconds before, not what kind of dirty little magazine is helping you along, not what movie is playing for encouragement, but that VERY last thing you think about.  Is it a man or a woman?  If it's a man, then you just need to deal with the fact that you might be gay and learn to accept that and realize it doesn't mean anything other than that fact.\n\nAnd it's OK to be nervous.  If this has been an ongoing issue, think about talking to someone about it.  Start with your doctor, and perhaps think of seeing a therapist.  You'll sort it all out.  It's happens to many men a lot.  Just not with me.\n\nIf it's a woman you think of in that last second of glory, then get in touch.  I'm sure I can help you out with that last minute "hurdle".  No man has left my bed without leaving a little something behind for Mama....
131866
I perfectly understand, and it is not a matter of the year we live on. I know for experience that this can be really hard to manage but you have to realize that the reason why you are not going to have sex is by choice, not prohibition, if you think you are missing something or have such a hurry but dont want to get "punished" or loose privelegies, you have to sit and make a self exam where you can settle the reason. M********* i dont recommend, you'll feel guilty, do some work, exercise, read, get out of bed when you feel like doing it, find out the facts that make you urge... hope this helps
650224
First of Amen and God bless that you have been able to stand strong and faithful. I think it is awesome that you have not given your self so easily like most woman or men have done.. I can't say I can relate. So hang in there I know God has a special man in plan for you. =)
1098992
You're conscience is already telling you that it is wrong to engage in premarital sex.  If you are a Christian, that is God's way of giving you a strong warning.  It may be that your emotions are strong, but obviously, you have already been pushing the envelope a bit and getting a little deeper involved in the touching, etc. and you are getting close to the point of no return.  You may need to try to back off from what you are now doing with your b/f and make sure you will not be put into the 'moment'.  Your will may be strong, but it is not going to help you if you keep putting yourself in such a strong temptation situation!  What will happen, is you will eventually get so far along that you will say, 'what the hell!' and just go all the way.  I know, I thought I had a strong will.  I opened up a whole trove of problems with that one what the hell.  It will probably destroy your self will.  I got involved in drugs and other stuff as a result.  I opened the door a crack and the devil kicked the door right down.  You will do what you want to do...it will be your choice.  You do not put a gun to your head with 5 loaded barrels and say, I am lucky, and fire.  It is a dangerous game you're playing and one day you will get burned.  I hope you can hold to your values and truly be able to back off now, before it goes too far.  Blessings.
901507
It's possible that it's his attitude that's depressing what sex drive you do have to zero. All that pressure ... it's a BIG turnoff. About your age, I had lived with a guy who was really demanding for like seven years and I was virtually frigid by then. Broke up with the guy (we weren't married), turned thirty and whoopee I'm a sex maniac.... don't lose hope.\n\nI recommend you study your own psyche with respect to your sexuality and the relationship. How do you feel when he pressures you, and why exactly? Books, counseling. Do you remember ever feeling somewhat excited, when you first got together? Don't you enjoy erotica or masturbation? If you don't, you're either kidding yourself to avoid confronting the issues in your marriage relationship, or you might as well learn to fake it.\n\nOf course, I could be totally wrong ... please forgive me if you know that to be so. Just basing this on my own experience.
859005
It could just be a mental thing, idk.   Try doing some erocit things, like when you move in, walk around naked, or build up your sex drive on a free day when you fave time to see what turns you on.
520963
I'm currently on my second marriage and I wish I would have waited until I met the man I'm with now. I was a virgin with my first husband but, we did it before we were married. I chose to have sex one month before our wedding because I didn't want our wedding night to be awkward. If your 100% positive you are getting hitched like I was then I say go for it. I just wish it had been with my second husband instead of my first.
282245
Well, how old are you? If you've never had sex and you're still young, it's probably just your period starting up slowly.\n\nIf you're an adult and are sexually active, that's just gross.
1084194
Virgins on a wedding night are rare, indeed!  I was one.  Many people had some good advice for you, but there's something I don't agree with.  Just because your fiancé has had sex, doesn't make him an experienced lover.  The bottom line is that he's not yet had sex with YOU...therefore, he is inexperienced.  Every woman is different.  \n\nYour fear is most likely rooted in 1) the unknown...the "big mystery;" and 2) ignorance (I don't mean this in a bad or critical way.  I'll explain what I mean.)\n\nThe "unknown" will remain that way until you've joined with your husband.  But even after that first time, it will *still* be mysterious because you'll both have SO MUCH to learn about each other and about yourselves.  What you like, what you dislike, what really gets you going, what makes you giggle, etc.  Have fun learning all that stuff!  You're in this together.  Communicate with each other.  :)   \n\nIgnorance - Maybe you're scared in part because you have no idea what to expect.  Maybe you don't know your own body yet. This isn't something to be ashamed of; it's just a matter of fact.  The remedy for this is education.  You and your fiance should read about and discuss together what to expect.  How a man's body works, how a woman's body works, etc.  Talk with each other about your fears, expectations, desires.  And honey, do yourself a favor.  Examine your body.  Use a mirror if you have to, but get comfortable with yourself.  The more comfortable you are with yourself, and the more you understand about you and your husband, the more confident you'll be that first time around and the more fun you'll have exploring!  ; )  \n\nNow everybody told me I'd feel pain the first time.  I didn't.  Not a bit.  That was partly because I had umm...can I say this on here?  Well, I had an accident as a child that did away with "the veil that causes pain."  You know what I mean.  But sex can still be painful if you are not properly prepared...i.e. turned on.  This is where reading a book on the subject can help you.  Understanding precisely how your body functions internally and externally goes a long way to dispelling some of the mystery and fear.  And if you're properly "prepared," it's not going to hurt. \n\nSo, read together, talk together, talk to close trusted friends, and then finally relax and give each other the freedom to explore and learn.  Wishing you joy and much love.  : )
439776
if you didnt have sexual intercourse then you are still a virgin. No doctor needed thats the answer :) xx
668607
i rather die a virgin then give it up just to be giving it up.. i was 27 when i got married and and lost my virginity.. and i dont regret one bit of it.. and dont worry you will be the right person and you will have your chance to loose it on your wedding night..
996827
I feel exactly the same, I have thought about it but have never said it outloud. I don't know if I met someone if I would actually do something of if it is just a fantasy. Email me if you want to chat :)
831824
Sweetie, i feel you.\nBut check this out...I'm a 26 yr old who has NEVER had sex before! (now I'm getting married next year though)-my point? DONT take a boyfriend because you see yur friends doing it.\nSecondly, I see that you harbour a fear of the unknown, I'll quote one of my quotes for you..."Love is to be given only to those you trust, but how do you know who to love if first you dont trust?"\nMy point...take a chance.\nBeing more precise, make a list of things you want in a guy that are not negotiable(eg maybe, spiritual convictions etc), make another of "good to haves but not must haves" (eg maybe, color of hair etc). Then cultivate friendships without labelling every guy as a potential bf or not...just enjoy friendships and things would fall in place.\nLastly sweetie, there's no crime in being single AND learn to trust. ;) \nThis may sound corny but it sure helps-You may want to pray about the issue too.
848594
Well I am a gay male who got married because of societal teachings and presures!  While in my marriage I participated in sexual acts because I felt I had to, I got myself into this mess I could very well just not do anything. A lot of people still to this day think when I tell them that I used to be married think that I used to be str8 as well but I can assure you I was never str8 I just denied my true sexual orientation and hid behide the marrage to a woman.  I figured nobody would susspect me of being gay if I was married to a woman.  After experiencing M2F sex and knowing that it was not for me I had to try being sexual with another guy if for no other reason then to prove to myself that the sexual feelings I had been having all my life for other guys was real. I placed an ad in the news paper, rented myself a mail box at the post office and started getting responses from other guys. I was stupid and kept the letters (and some of them were very graphic in the way they were writen - guys telling me what they were like physically and what they would like to do to or with me sexually) my wife (at the time) found the letters and read them.  I will never forget that gay as long as I live!!!  The look on her face, the body language - it was so bad, so bad!!!  So you might say that I was kind of kicked out to the closet! LOL\nIt wasn't funny at the time but now I can look back on it and have a bit of a laugh!\nAfter that I just started to see more and more guys cuase now I knew that's what I liked sexually.  Eventually my wife left me so now she is my X and I came right out of the closet and have never looked back not that I would want to anyway.\nSuch a large weight was lifted from my shoulders when I finally, totally came out.  Now I could be myself instead of pretending to be somebody, something that I was really not! I have no regrets about coming out I just wish I had come out earlier and I wish I had never got married and hurt another human being the way I hurt my X (of course I am taking about hurt emotionally).  She has never forgiven me and never treated me the same since and it has been over 17 years now! :-(\nHope this is helpful. *hugs* JAC<
394668
I am virgin and I will save my honor until marriage.\n\nBecause I just can t...because I can t stand it that my future to be husband feel I had betrayed him in my past life.\n\nwhen I will marry him, I love him to think I was loyal and innocent to him...this kind of purity give me a feeling like pride...\n\nMaybe i m stupid but this is who I am