If your best friend is a married man... is it alright to have sexual relations with him?
346642
Come on, you're not really friends. Would a friend cause another to loose his house, family, half of everything he owns, and put him out on the street?\n\nHow bout this? Can he live with you after the divorce, and can you support him financially since most of his money will go to lawyers and support?\n\nCan you dodge bullets from his wifes gun?
683338
I have a really really best guy friend ( woman here), been friends for 5 yrs now. He has been w/ me thru everything. I am married now but b4 now, he wanted to be more than friends. Told him I didn't see it that way, it would ruin our friendship I thought. That if he didn't see it same way, we coulndt even be friends no more. Still friends today!..Some things are better left alone!
65042
being married, i believe that he should realize that when he married you, he GAINED a new best friend.  HOWEVER, there are things that i do with my buddy john that i don't do with my wife...football games, baseball games and my wife hangs out with her "homies" doing what women do.  But, everyday is ridiculous.  Bored you ask, yes...bored it is.  Plan a "date night" for the two of you.  Like every saturday or friday, whatever is convienent.  go to dinner, to a movie, go dancing at the club, have drinks at a bar, go to a comedy club, go see a concert...WHATEVER, the point is return to your roots of spending time together.  he is content to believe that you will always be home waiting for him, when he returns from where ever he goes. This is not petty, it is unfair.
224925
Yes*\nAnd he turned out to be the love of my life. AND I later found out that 'the friend' was not really a friend at all.  \nHowever, the rule of thumb is, if your best friend likes them, 'their off limits' until either they break up or she moves on. And even then, your supposed to ask your friend if its ok to make a play for that special hottie
380107
You have to decide for yourself, can you see yourself with this person for the rest of your life and are you sure that you arent jumping into the first thing that seems like a relationship without getting to know the person. sex shouldnt be an issue until you have become best friends with him. take it slowly that way you won't get hurt
617200
Yes.  My wife is by best friend.
587801
Did you mean to ask, "Why should *I* still be best friends with my best friend if we like the same guy?"\n\nWhy should that bother you? It's just one more thing that you have in common. If you are too young to get married, then just laugh about it and move on. If you are considering this guy as marriage material, then the only thing preventing you from remaining best friends is your own cultural indoctrination and jealousy. Learn to deal with it and think outside of your ideological box.
360153
Well, you can go for it but know this:\n\n1) He is more than likely just trying to get into your pants and if you're okay with this then by all means go for it.\n\n2) He knows you know he's married. If you do go for it he will throw that back in your face that you KNEW he was married when he gets tired of you.\n\n3) He knows you're willing to lower your standards for him and you're okay with pursuing something further even when you have to share him.\n\nIf he truly is a friend then he will respect you and not start anything physical with you. If he truly is a respectful man he will do the same.\n\nJust know what to expect because in the end you agreed to all this.\n\n*And if he wants you that bad he'll leave his wife FIRST then start something with you*
495007
yep, Married him,,,,we were friends for like 4 yrs we ve been married for 1 yr 4 months and to be honest it is the best thing I could have ever done, it is working just so great we don´t need to pretend anything we know each other like the palms of our hands we still can talk like good friends listen to each other ,,The secret of it i guess is to keep on being best friends many ppl forget their spouse should also be a friend to them and limit their relationships ...he knows my past I know his and we don´t use it against each other instead we use it to understand the fears that may still be a part of us..=)....Nope we didn´t really feel atracted at first I was *engaged* , he had a gf...time went by I had another bf...broke up ...and then I began noticing I had fallen for him I asked him about his feelings and I was lucky he felt the same way for me..
242239
Think to yourself...Is casual sex with my wife's best friend going to hurt or enhance my marriage? You must hate your wife to even consider doing something that would cause her nothing but heart-ache and embarrassment
245304
No, it's certainly NOT okay. I think it is inappropriate for your wife to be spending a great deal of time with a male friend. If they have any reason to be discussing things quietly together (as you explained), they should do it in your presence or include you in the conversations. I think you should trust your gut instinct on this - you know it's wrong for her to be involved with this guy, but you probably hate to stir things up with your wife by complaining. Is there anyway you could learn to like him, accept him as a friend? If not, then you need to tell your wife how you feel. \n\nAs Princess Diana mentioned once...a marriage becomes a bit crowded with 3 people in it. It's meant for two. (who have become one...)
826500
Snagg him up before someone else does!! after i got married (to my best friend) two years later i met another guy that is now my best friend and if my husband and i ever parted, i would choose my new best friend as my new life long mate. It helps that you guys are already best friends, that's a good stable foundation. Good luck, and make sure to tell him how you feel. Even if you don't say, show it.
450349
YES! This is a no go area, if you are calling this person your "best" friend rather than just a friend you already should know that this person is not like other people you hang out with. It will be gone forever and you will have a relationship, and there is no taking it back. It's about self control and being honest to yourself, if you want a best friend steer clear of that, if al lyou want is sex or a relationship then think hard about the friends you make because it can be a world of hurt
303959
i am married now but i was with a guy for 9 years and we are like best friends still and my husband talks to him too sometimes we dont talk about anything innapropriate we are just like two good friends so yes it can be done but you cant think about the intimate memories in order to just be friends
613077
This was on Oprah today... Even tho they were married, but anyway...\n\nYes, your friend was not your friend.. A true, BEST friend would NEVER even consider it.  Give the "friend" and the "boyfriend" up and find new ones. You are better than that, and there are so many more people to meet! You are worth it!  Don't lower your standards for people who don't care about you and how you feel.  Never settle.  Good luck honey!
1014319
If you choose to get together, keep it absolutely secret!!  Yes, don't even tell your best friends...  Friends take sides in a divorce.  Ex wives and husbands have been known to involve family too, with the dirt of your relationship before a final divorce.  Which in officially, is defined as an affair.  Use the time to get to know each other and bond.  It would be sad for you to risk a friendship for a relationship that no one will accept.
1043616
I'm afraid you don't have any option here. If he's married then you should let him be married and find yourself someone else. You can't expect your MARRIED friend to return your feelings. If you consider yourself his friend, you wouldn't even think of breaking his marriage and even if you do, just remember the consequences and what goes around comes around. So if I were you, I'd save my feelings for someone who's not taken.