my mother-in-law is a pain?
353550
First of all, when did you guys officially become husband and wife - you made no mention of that in your question.  If your wife is a grown woman and is allowing her mother to act that way, what can you do.  It is sounding like she has given control to her mother.  Check yourself.  Make sure you have not done anything to offend your mother-in-law, if so then get it right.  Try talking to the mother-in-law.  Ask her why she is acting out so bad.  Coming to your job is definitely over the top and you should definitely ask her never to do that again.  Get in touch with your wife.  Explain to her that you cannot go on like this.  Her not coming back on her own is sounding like she doesn't want to be with you.  Ask her point blank what her intentions are.
1113427
I'd tell off my mother-in-law! \n\nI'd tell her it is NOT okay to hit me, it is not okay to put me down in front of my children, her son CHOSE me so she needs to forget aout his ex, she needs to stop saying she wants to fins him a new wife, she needs to stop lying, she needs to stop steeling my things, especially my underwear, and she needs to keep her nose in her own business. I know hoe to keep my man happy, while hers is walking out the door every month becuase he's fed up of her. If she's not careful, one of these time's he's not going to come back.
960233
I try to keep my mother in law out of my relationship as much as possible,
303092
Mothers are often jealous of a son's relationship with another woman since it usually means they are no longer #1 in their son's eyes. On another level she is also jealous of the attention your father-in-law pays to you and she is making sure he doesn't come to like you too much! \n\nSisters often resent their brother's girlfriends and wives, regarding them as "new daughters" that take their parents and brothers attention away from them. Kind of like sibling rivalry.\n\nThese women will settle down in time once they realize you are no threat to their relationship with your husband or their husband/father. Encourage your husband and father-in-law to include one or both of them in the conversations or activities that are making them jealous. Don't let either of the men make comparisons that put you in a better light and provokes their jealousy. For example, if your father-in-law compliments your cooking, then looks at his wife and says, "why don't you ever make that," then you should make some comment about her best cooking to keep her feelings from being hurt. You will see lots of little things like that if you watch for them. Try to smooth them over, and just be the best person you can be. Hold your temper! It will get better in time. \n\nIf it doesn't you will know that you tried your best and just avoid them as much as possible to prevent disagreements and try to ignore the hurtful things they say and do. Your husband will take a hand if they disrespect you too much when he knows you are doing your best to get along with them.
159858
you know what is best for you. your mother might be a pain in the a** how ever she just lost some one close to her and she needs you and your family more than you know. for now think of her for a little while then you can do what is best for you. even though we all know how mother in laws can be you can do it hang in there heath.
88168
My mother in law was the same way.  My husband didn't want to get involved because he said it was like a soap opera.  But then he did get involved and we no longer talk to his side of the family.\n\nYour husband needs to get involved for the sake of your marriage. She needs to tell you why she acts like that.  Most likely it's the same old thing of she feels like she is loosing a son.  Hopefully she would be willing to talk about it.  I started with a very polite letter but face to face would be better.  Work out a way that she can continue to be part of his life if that is what the problem is.  But your husband needs to support you!\n\nWe would e-mail and I showed my husband everything.  She would also yell at me on the phone and then tell him I was yelling at her.  He figured it out.  We went through counseling and she couldn't even be honest there.  So that is when we both said enough and don't have any communication with them anymore. You have to do what is best for your family.\n\nProof is always the best but your husband should trust you there and be willing to work out a solution.  But if your mother in law won't talk about it there isn't much you can do but avoid her.  But don't let it affect you. I ended up having major heath problems because of the stress.  It's her problem not yours!
326823
She's not your mother.  Let your husband do it.  It's his mother, he needs to do it himself.
749833
If it really bothers you that much that you are family is bothering your in laws, then call them up. Find out what they want and tell them to stop contacting you through them. There are better ways of communications in future. If anything tell them to try your email that way you have control of their contact and they certainly wont bother your in laws.
333866
My heart goes out to you. I unfortunately have learned to live with the same type situation. Your daughter in law is probably suffering from low self esteem among other things and is probably really making things hard for your son as well. I have discovered that the sweet girl that I thought would be prefect for my son is the terror I hoped he would never have to deal with.  My daughter in law not only tries to manipulate my sons family life, but his work and social life as well. More than likely your son is going through the same thing. I dont recommend apologizing for things you didnt do though. She will try to manipulate you and your son forever, all we do is bite our tongues and let our son know that we love him, no matter what. We just pray one day he will take the upper hand and let her know that it is not OK to treat his family like she does.  (She also withholds our 3yr old granddaughter from us). Good luck to you, I know how painful this situation is.
1035983
Sorry you are dealing with 2 psychos that don't know their place.  I'd ignore them as much as possible, but I would put my foot down if they tried to run your life. Your hubby is going to deal with them as he chooses b/c they are his family, but I think they need to see that you are not to be messed with.  When you say no, don't waver.  They can leave if they don't like it.  Let them try to manipulate all they want. It's up to you to not allow them to mess with your life.  Your husband will see them for who they are. And he may step up and tell them to back off in private so they save face. But either way, you can't control him or them....just put your foot down.  Good luck. My mother in law is a manipulative witch.  My husband just  wants to move far away from her and gets tired of her behavior, but feels he can't change his mom.  I think he's right.
653421
kill her and hide the body!!! LOL just kidding, it is hard, the best thing you can do is have your husband talk to his mom, other than that you are sol. it is a funky little sitch because if he is not ready to cut the strings and you push him he will hold it against you, stupid i know but that is how it is. if you say anything to the mom she can easily manipulate it to drive a wedge between you two. only move if you have to for a job or something, because the phone can easily still work no matter where you go. so have your hubby talk to her first, then maybe sit down as a family to work out some rules or something. good luck on this sticky wicket!
391287
I can tell you I have been there and done it and it only gets worse because she has a hold on him you can not break. But let me tell you this is also what she wants is for you to leave so she can have him all to herself. As far as your husband sooner or later the resentment builds up and the love is lost because of the way he does. Tell him in no certain terms you realize this is his mother but your also his wife and he is killing all the respect you have for him...Lady
244209
You need to sit your husband down and explain to him exactly how you feel.  Then you need to avoid your in-laws to salvage your mental health.  Allow your husband to visit them whenever he wants, but you stay home or go to a movie.  Seriously, my mother-in-law hated me and she broke up my marriage in the end.  It sounds like you need a vacation....
1111223
My mother in law feels sorry for my husband. He thinks that I don't do anything at all..and that I should have a job so he doesn't have to work so hard. \nThe truth is..she was Missing In Action for most of my husband's life..having to work all of the time at menial jobs. He has very few memories of her being there at all.\nSoo...I have learned to avoid her, and shrug off her unsubstantiated criticisms.
953071
Tell your mother in law she needs to get a tonguectomy.  LOL\n\n\nYour mother in law is always telling you what to do, but are doing what she tells you?  It's very simple.  The two of you together need to tell her to keep her nose out of your personal affairs, and if she can't manage to do that then she will be out of your lives for good.  The choice will be hers to make.
123875
You and your husband need to talk about the situation, and your mother in law (and/or father in law as well) should be brought into the conversation later, since they are taking part in the wife bashing. If your husband doesn't stop allowing the wife bashing then you need to consider some therapy - he needs to get that you are his wife and his mom should not be beating up on you, and if she does he needs to put a stop to it.  She's entitled to her opinion, but she doesn't need to voice it.
1073984
hard to say. do it unless your mother in law is a real woman hitler as you call her. \nbut if you've already had disputes before, i'd say you don't. cuz what is a life of hell with more money in your pocket? just a life of hell.\ni've been living with my mother in law for a year and she was always interfering in our lives. it determined us to move into a new apartment, smaller but ours only.