I had an affair.We have 3 kids.I don't want to hurt any of them. I ended the affair. Do I tell or keep quiet ?
338084
Telling might ease your conscience but it could ruin your spouses life. I'm so glad you came to your senses and ended the affair. It's refreshing to see someone take the responsibility. What a blessing you are still in love with your spouse.\n\nYou need to talk to someone, I just don't think it should be your spouse. How about your minister? Everything you tell them is confidential. Or another professional counselor. You need to get to the root of why you started an affair to begin with. If you continue to live with the guilt your marriage will suffer for it. Talk to someone. Work through it and let it go.\n\nI pray you'll be able to forgive yourself and have a happy life with your family. God Bless!
763390
I kept my married name until I remarried, but the children were older then.  I think to give them a sense of belonging and security, however much you want rid of the name, then you should keep it.  Put their feelings first before your own.
449229
There is only one way to do that.. CLEAN! You need a completely clean break, no contact of any kind. If you are truly in love, but are going to end it (which, BTW, is the right thing to do if it is an extramarital affair), then you need to cease all communication and just try to move on.
1029837
I suggest being straightforward with the people and tell them right off that they cannot use those words around youre children. whether theyre youre friends or not(i dont know) you should still tell them immediately to stop
335571
Don't. Simply don't tell them anything you don't want them to know and don't share any info you don't want getting out with anybody or it will get out sooner or later.
137693
Your parents have their reasons, I'm sure. But have you asked them to explain to you? They may not be able to, or they may not want to, but consider the possiblity that they did what was best, not only for them, but for you too. \n\nMy husband and I are seperated for reasons I hope I never have to tell my children.
720846
I have always told My Children, You have to know when to keep something to Yourself that Someone has confided in You, and when Help is needed and You need to tell.  You maybe the only person right now that knows, If You don't Help, before things get out of control, who will?  Watch TV it is all over the news, 20/20, and Dateline about Sexual Predators surfing the Web, and how Many have convinced young Girls, such as Your Sister, to meet up with Them, to do despicable things, and Worse.  Why do You think that Police Departments, County Sheriffs, and the FBI, have organized so many Task Forces to pretend to be the Young Men and Women?  They are working Their butts off, and have no where near the Man Power to intercept all the Pedophiles.  Trust Me these deviants, will gladly travel!\n\nDon't wait, You couldn't Live with that - Good Luck, and God Bless
1127634
No...you shouldn't tell him, nor should you be involved or get involved with him. So long as he is married there is that chance no matter how slim that he could reconcile with his wife, and you shouldn't be there to make that impossible or harder for him to do. You are also only opening yourself up to hurt by being involved...best to stay away.
704309
HECK YEAH!\nnah i would just go up to my father & tell him to tell my mom cuz i wouldn`t wanna hide that from my mom & then if he doesn`t tell i would tell her but that would make things BAD between my father & i. but he was the one who had the affair.\nso i would : \ngive him time & if he doesn`t tell then i WOULD tell.
770703
She deserves to know the truth. Keeping it from her will only hurt YOU in the long run. Think about that.
303821
If it was me, I'm going to say no.  I have one beautiful son and one more son on the way that I'm totally excited about, but I'm not much of a kid person outside of my own.  So if I met someone and found out that he had 5 kids, I would not let a relationship develop.  I would not want to deal with living with a total of 7 children if we were to fall in love and actually live together.  Criminy who can afford to have 5 kids these days anyway??  Yikes!
868537
no, what goes on in their marriage is really their business. he may already know, or she may choose to keep it from him. i hope that it was some one-time mistake on her part and that they've already worked through it, but it's not your responsibility to tell him.
928007
I think you should tell her right away. She'll be more likely to forgive you, since you didn't try and keep it a secret from her. I personally hate secrets, I htink we should lay them out in the open. Tell her you're really sorry, too. You shouldn't have cheated in the first place.
133265
Stop and think about all the things you could loose if your husband somehow found out about your affair. Is it really worth it? You need to make a choice. You can't have it both ways.\n\nMarriage is all about loyalty, commitment, honesty, maturity. If you don't have those things, then you don't really have a marriage so you might as well end it. If you don't want to end your marriage, then you know what you have to do. End the relationship. \n\nThen you need to take a good hard look at why you had an affair anyway. Was it for the excitement? If so, find a way to put excitement back in your marriage. Your husband was the man you fell in love with, committed to, made a vow to. Would you want him to have an affair? Consider how it would make you feel, then do everything in your power to be the kind of partner you would want him to be.\n\nWhether or not you decided to tell him about the affair is a decision you have to make. You would be taking a chance that he will walk out and never look back. On the other hand, you would be making the first step toward an honest relationship instead of living a lie, and you wouldn't have to worry about him hearing about your affair from someone else.\n\nPeople are human and make mistakes. It's what we do when we are faced with our mistakes that determine our character. The choice is yours. Good luck.
374584
You need to back off and give your partner some space. He/she may decide that it is definitely over but it is their choice not yours you had the affair. You can't rebuild trust by playing games or taking quizzes on the internet. Try to be the best parent you can to your kids.
403091
You should be honest up front. Then take it slow. Later on when you feel comfortable you could introduce them to your kids.
1113427
I'd tell off my mother-in-law! \n\nI'd tell her it is NOT okay to hit me, it is not okay to put me down in front of my children, her son CHOSE me so she needs to forget aout his ex, she needs to stop saying she wants to fins him a new wife, she needs to stop lying, she needs to stop steeling my things, especially my underwear, and she needs to keep her nose in her own business. I know hoe to keep my man happy, while hers is walking out the door every month becuase he's fed up of her. If she's not careful, one of these time's he's not going to come back.