Am i being insecure when my husband talks to his ex-wife?
339002
My ex-husband and I have a daughter together and we have a great FRIEND relationship. When you have children you are commited to that child by a bond and the love you ONCE had. You will always have a realationship with that person if you love your children enough to look past the bad and work together for the better cause. I wouldnt worry unless he is having sleep overs!
927078
No your not, he could have just said this is my wife and this is and said the ex's name, or he could have said this is said the ex wife's name and then said and this is my wife and then said your name.\n\nConsidering that you have just said that the ex-wife threatens and shouts at him a lot, maybe he just thought it would be easier to do that than having to deal with her. However all you can do is support him and love him and try not to deal with her drama
767477
There is definitely trouble brewing.  She obviously still has something for him, since she sought him out on MySpace and is actively chatting.  Never trust a partner who still talks to their ex!
1038430
1) Not at all.\n\n2) Instinct.  No males in the animal kingdom will let any other male to associate with his female.  What, you're not an animal?\nOkay, so we're a little more evolved than that.  But considering that you feel deprived of her attention and time, it's a valid reason to feel slighted.   \n\n3) Tell her only about how her speaking with her ex makes you feel.  Don't say anything about how wrong she is or what a dork her ex is, and etc.  She must know how you feel inside without you or her getting defensive or judgemental.  Your feelings should not be a secret to come between you two.  You're seething and at the same time, feeling guilty for not being a man enough to tolerate her male acquaintance.  This is not a \npositive feeling to harbor alone.  Once you communicate how you feel about her talking to her ex, she will understand how valid and right you are and should stop doing what makes you ill at ease.  \n\n4) Disassociate away!  I completely agree with you.  Personally, I tear up all my ex's pictures and leave no trace of them lying about, a courtesy to my husband to spare him of thoughts you are experiencing.
1066593
no Sarah you are not overacting the guy is a user and it is his 1st ex who is still being used as for her husband what a wimp. Your better off without him Sarah so good luck in the future and tell him your daughter is unhappy with the arrangements if it carries on making her unhappy get help to make the arrangement you want legal.
538808
I dont think that sounds normal no! I am very shy person ex. they had to cut my underwear off to give birth to my daughter. lol (i can see the funny side of it now)\n\nMy first relationship was physically, emotionally and mentally abusive. I still have bad memories of that! It still affects me even till today! ex if someone walks towards me and moves suddenly I cringe!\n\nI have another partner now who is wonderful. Hes been my best friend for years. I am not use to being treated like a queen. He showers me with gifts and tells me a hundred times a day he loves me. At first I was embarassed and didnt know what to answer him. He perservered! Now I am proud and have no problem in telling him I love him in front of anyone! My friends wish they had him for a partner because hes such a beautiful person. They actually envy me! lol\n\nThis woman is your wife! Did she have trouble saying yes I love you (I do) in the wedding ceremony?? I think not. Obviously because yous are married!\n\nI seriously think she has no excuse for this other than maybe some of her so called friends are male and dont know about you ;) or that her feelings for you might not be as genuine and she tells you at home to shut you up. Sorry this might not be something you want to hear!\n\nI think your best bet is to ask her straight out and ask her to promise you to be totally honest with you!\n\nGood Luck with everything!
1077761
It's a great question... really it is.\n\nI find myself making that call a lot.\n\nI'd say... consider the GREATER GOOD... and act accordingly.\n\nFor example... My wife doesn't like ANY INTERACTION with my EX-WIFE... she doesn't even like me TALKING to her... But my SON (who lives with me) is a product of that marriage.\n\nSometimes My ex and I will communicate through e-mail... to deal with an issue... and I'll just NOT MENTION that to my current wife.\n\nThe greater good.   There are other examples... but this one I think is pretty cut and dried.
678780
Honestly what do you expect?  I mean it is your BEST FRIEND'S EX.  Even if she says she's cool about, deep down inside she might not be.  Why don't you ASK her why she keeps bashing your man.  She could be jealous, or she could be telling the truth about how he really acts.  I have two friends who are MARRIED to my ex's, and I'm completely fine with it.  I never knock their hubbies or anything. Of course both of their hubbies are good guys, and I dumped them.
708868
If my mate kept contact with his ex-girlfriend it whether or not it would bother me depends on what type of friendship they had and what reason were they keeping in contact for. If he was honest with me and told me they were now just friends and that he valued her opinion in many things no, it would not bother me. It would also be okay if he told me they were to have lunch together once in a while, as long as he took me along with them or even if he was just honest without taking me along I wouldn't be upset. But if he calls her sneakily and tries to lie to me about the type of relationship that they have together and tries to sneak around just to be with her, than yes that would bother me.\n\nJealousy comes from insecurity, which is why I try my best not to overreact or make myself appear jealous when there is nothing to be jealous over. A male and a female can have a strictly platonic relationship as long as he/she agree to do so in those terms.\n\nI broke up with my ex almost three years ago and we still keep in touch. Even if he were to fall in love and marry someone else I would still want to know and still want to be a part of his life likewise with him, because we means so much to each other.
950818
The question is do he talk to you about what his exes want? I would ask questions instead of flaring off at times because if he has not shown you any signs that they are still involve it shouldn't be a problem. Do they have children together? If so that could be the conversation. You two should communicate much more than you do so you will feel more comfortable about the visits. I understand the hurt. First you should go to God for answers to your marriage because He made you two and He knows best for you two. God bless you.
763351
Simply, curiousity with a little bit of wonder, maybe even jealousy.  Jealousy is questionable.  However, you don't understand why he was with her and really you don't need to or have to.  You might want to know why they broke up.  You may have deep down fears of them coming back around to each other since you don't understand why they were even together to begin with.  What you should remember is that he is with you and not her now.  If he isn't doing anything to see her, be around her, or have any sort of contact with her you really have nothing to be worried about.  If he is, then have concerns.  If he talks about her etc.  Put it out of your head if those things aren't happening and just enjoy that he is with you.
1066383
you're not expecting to much, but everyone is different..i'm friends with several of my exes to..but if a significant other really had a problem with it i'd do my best to come up with a comprimise..generally exes are exes for a reason....he should also respect your thoughts and feelings...and not just say it's being jealous...
827663
I would also feel very insecure about this situation. the only thing you can do is be aware of it.  The fact that they dated could either be a good or bad thing.  He could still be holding a torch for her, or it could be that it just didn't work out romantically for them.  I wouldn't quiz him too much on it just keep an eye on what he is doing and when and what he is telling you.  If it makes you feel unstable in your relationship then I think you should tell him how you feel without making it sound like you are jealous.  Tell him how it is - its your ex, but you don't tell me that you are seeng her.  I feel like you are hiding something, even though i know aren't.  if he is hiding something there's no guarantee you will find out, but if that's the case and you can't trust him, there's no relationship.
1059167
anything that you do on this earth whether good or bad people will talk so why worry abt them. stop worry if only your husband knows him and is wife is ok with you around her husband then please stop listening to what people say. and one thing, don't try to explain any thing to any of those people for they will have more to say. stay as if you never heared any thing and don't see your friend. good luck
1054581
He has an insecurity complex. He's hoping if he focuses all his attention on her that she will never leave him. Most of the time this behavior 'smothers' the other person & it backfires on them. It has nothing to do with you personally. It is his own insecurity. Just let it run it's course & when he comes to you bummed after she dumps him, tell him how it made you feel & how it needy he looked to all his friends. He'll agree, but prob continue the pattern the rest of his life. Sorry
110773
Good luck!!  Been divorced 18 years and X still bad mouths me.  Bet you can't talk to him either.  Just try to ignore his insecure behavior.  I'm sure mutual friends know what kind of person you are.  Say something like, how is (so & so's name) doing with AA?
491649
After having been married for 9 years, I also have this problem.  I got used to my husband, I was familiar with all his good points as well as his bad.  After going through the pain of a divorce its hard to trust again and to allow yourself to know someone as intimately as you did your former spouse; as well as to let someone in on who you are deep inside...  you did it once, and look where it got you...\n\nI understand.  Maybe one day we'll be healed emotionally enough to test the waters once more.  Trust is a hard thing to come by and a hard thing to give someone else.