How does divorce affect infant attachment?
351578
It depends on if you're the custodial parent or not.  If you're the custodial parent then you'll have more time with the infant.  The non-custodial parent will have a minor challenge bonding to the infant but it can be compensated by making sure that they focus on the quality of the time they spend with the child.
116179
No but it all is depending on how much you love your partner. The marriage is not all about babies but understanding and making others life (your partner) more comfortable,
135056
Children who are securely attached to significant adults in early childhood have been shown to be able to develop appropriate peer relationships, and cope well with problems that confront them. It is also known that children who have had good attachment experiences will be able to use these in their relationships with their own children in later life.\n"Attachment helps the child attain full intellectual potential; sort out what he or she perceives; think logically; develop a conscience; become self-reliant; cope with stress and frustration; handle fear and worry; develop future relationships; and reduce jealousy." (Fahlberg, 1988., p.13)
903163
I would say it will probably last.  That said, it helps to walk into it knowing that having children is EXTREMELY hard on a relationship.  From the moment she gets pregnant until the baby is about 18 mos, hormones, sleep deprivation, etc make it very difficult to remember the wonderful things your relationship is based on.  Even if you want to separate, try to postpone any decisions until the baby is 2 (unless abuse is an issue, obviously).  My husband and I had fights when our twins were infants that were truly horrible and completely out-of-character for us, you just have to remember that it will pass and things will improve.  The first response was spot-on -- if the dad falls in love with the kid & and does his part with diapers, laundry, supporting breastfeeding it will be a huge help.  Happily, biology has designed babies to be very easy to fall in love with -- humans are hard-wired to respond to infantile large foreheads & those tiny cries.  You'll spend the first year flip-flopping between extremely happy and very tired & grumpy, but I'm 90% sure you won't regret it.
273023
You sound like a "giver" in relationships and that's wonderful except you probably  haven't learned to "receive" comfortably. In fact, you likely give off subtle, non-verbal clues that you're a nurturer, which in theory seems like you would attract lots of like-minded people...but you're not comfortable "receiving", so only the takers get through. Actually you know what you want ( more to the point, you know exactly what you don't want) you just have to give yourself permission to have it. It's scary and it's hard because divorce shakes you up in ways people who've never been married can never understand, but there is life on the other side of that haze...great life! You have (3) children who need nurturing, loving support from you unconditionally...that's your duty. But your relationships should be about an exchange of fulfillment. Try to make sure that's the signal you're giving off and soon that'll be the feedback you get. With (3) children who needs extra chores? If your man doesn't help and nurture you, find another one who will. By the way, the advice I'm giving you is advice I heed myself. It all happens in baby steps...but it happens. Good luck.
1023238
Unfortunatly, psychology is exactly what the problem is.  There are many reasons that kids do this, divorce being one of them. It is apparent that she is very insecure, the question you face is why.  During your divorce period, was it amicable, or tumultous?  Was she party to the anxiety, even at 2-21/2 kids pick up so much more "wavelengths" than you can imagine.  Even if she was not "around" during the periods of "bad" times with your ex, she would have still picked up both of your tensions and anxieties that as she has gotten older is manifesting itself in the extreme.  Regardless, the answer your looking for are right in front of you; you and your ex-husband.\n\nI suggest the first place to start is to take her to a medical doctor to ensure that she does not have a hormone imbalance, that all of her blood tests are normal.  Assuming that everything checks out OK, make an appointment with a family therapist, one who specializes in treating kids with security issues. There are several underlying reasons for her behavior, and the first that comes to mind is she is hearing bad things about mom at dad's and bad things about dad at mom's.  Understand, that going back and forth is confusing to a child that age.  The require STRUCTURE on a daily basis.  They need to eat at the same time, bathe at the same time, play, school, activities, etc, the same time every day.  ( of course, there are variables) Should this be one of her issues, then both you and your ex need to get involved in each others weeks.  For example, she goes to dad's on Sunday, so every, say other Sunday, you stay for awhile and have a B-B-Q, or some other communicative fun, all of you, him, you, her, your daughter and who ever else is living there in the family unit.  Provide for her a sense of "belonging" one to the other, Same with your house.  Then during each of your individual weeks, pop over, sit down as a family unit, watch a movie, eat some popcorn, something for just a bit, then leave.  After some time, she will realize that BOTH OF YOU are still there.  I digress that at first this will be difficult, but over a bit of time, you may be impressed how well she will have adjusted.  \nLet's say this is not the problem.  Lets say that she knows this "pushes" your buttons and she will be given something, be it, a snack, toy, etc. Then I would say she is learning very early how to manipulate, which children of divorced parents do very well.  This is easy to fix, stop giving whatever to her.  However, make sure your nerves can handle it.  That is just your guilt that she keyed in on, and if the divorce was the best thing for all, then you have nothing to be guilty for.  \nFinally, the most difficult of all is: Your baby is being hurt somehow and she is not old enough to understand what to do, or what to say, so she "fights" leaving you.  I really hate to approach this one for some many options remain unexplored, however, for her sake and safety it must be put on the table.  \nIn order to get "solutions" you must first find out what the problem is, otherwise, there are no solutions.  Approach it like a book unread.  You have the content but you don't know what it is about but you have to find a title.  Rather hard to do without knowing what the book is about.  I am sure you get the metaphor.  \nBottom line, you MUST find the problem before you can solve anything.  I know from personal experience that when they do this it can drive you nuts, but she MUST COME FIRST.  For the first 3yrs of his life, I could'nt walk out of the room to the kitchen without my son screaming like a banchee.  Going out to work, I would have to sneak out, and you can forget about going to the bathroom and closing the door.  And, my husband and I (his dad) are not divorced.  Sometimes this can be as simple as a parent needing to spend more "one on one time" with the child, which being a s
1154034
Its the effect a broken marriage has on kids. Thats why divorce is so bad.   Get some books on it an read. Promise yourself to do better as an adult.  You don't have to walk in your parents footsteps. You are a very unique person and have a lot to offer. So read things that lift your spirit and help you become the great adult you can be.
848231
ok well it depend on the life stages of the family. but ill do each one.\ninfancy: physical: shouldnt be affected too much as this stage apart from the obvious. polution, not being able to play outside etc.\nemotional: the emotional feelings of parents can affect the emotional development of infant see below on adult.\nintellectual: shouldnt be affected too much as this age. however if the family are in poverty or are working class then the infant may be affected due to lack of educational toys etc.\nsocial: inner city may result in more social interaction. however living in a village can sometimes be more beneficial socially as people form closer relationships whereas in cities we tend to have alot of people that we know but maybe not as many close relationships.\n\nchildhood: physical: polution, more danger, eg crodding roads, crime (victim?) etc. cities=more public transport=less exercise.\nintellectual: poverty=less academic resources at home, less life chances, follow life cycle of parents as they do not have successfull people to look up to as role model. this is generally. intellectual development may be affected by current emotional development.\nemotional: racism? low self esteem. however we usually find more ethnic/ black people in inner cities which may help child to learn about diversity.\nsocial: mix with more diverse range of people due to living in inner city. more socially accepting. however may be resticted on "play time" as children in inner cities cannot be wandering around due to risk (crime)\n\nteenagers: physical: more aware of self and how other people view us. if we are picked on (racism) at this stage in our life this can affect our emotional development. puberty-more sexually aware\nemotional: racism can cause low self esteem and can affect the way we view ourselves. leads to problems in adulthood. major need for friendships and if this is not happening then the teenager may become withdrawn depressed which in turn can affect the intellectual development of the individual.\nintellectual: poverty=less resources at crutial time of education. if im on the right track email me at joeyanna1232002@yahoo.co.uk and ill do the rest lol
178422
Your going through a lot of changes not only your body,but your emotions are more sensitive as well,I went through the same thing when I was pregnant with my kids,it is natural to love them one minute and ready to strangle them the next!!!
529486
My daughter and son are both adopted (daughter's parents still living, son's father still living) so I understand what you are going through.  What seemed to work was explaining to our kids that you can love lots of people lots of different ways.  There's Bio-Dad and Mom love, and Adopto-Dad and Mom love, and Big Sister love and Little Brother love, and kitty-cat love, and puppy-dog love.  And, just because they played differently with the kitty-cat didn't mean they didn't love the puppy dog,and vice versa.  They loved both of them, but loved them diffrently, and that was OK.   Using the dog and the cat as examples was more expressive to them and helped them grasp the concept of it being OK to love different things differently and not feeling guilty about where (and to what/whom) their attention was focused.  What you do need to be careful about is any jealousy your ex-husband undoubtedly has, because any subliminal expression of this could add to your son's guilt of loving a new dad. It would also help if you could possibly get your ex to explain that it is OK to love his new daddy.  I think one of the things that also helped both the kids through that was they were both in the same boat so they did have each other as support mechanisms.  Perhaps there is a support group or other parents and children who are going through similar adjustments that you can connect with, as it may help your son to know he is not alone and other kids are going through the same thing he is.    Good luck...I'm glad you and your son found a good man.
13166
I am divorced two years now and get along with my ex for the the sake of my child. We both have put aside our differences and work together to assure our child is given the best environment possible. We talk about any decision that will affect our child and work it out. We are both good people, just not compatible together......we do it for the love our child. You have to!
1125148
If the state where the divorce was granted is like my own, you are responsible for some portion of the support for that child.  This is usually determined by a matrix which will give a total support figure, and you are responsible for your proportionate share.  It may be that you could use that to get a break on your share, or more visitation, but this would likely require more court time.  Good luck.
159815
It adds stress to the family. The parent(s) might get a divorce because of finacial stress. The parent(s) might wrongly vent their frustration on their children via abuse. Also people in poverty tend to look to sex as a free form of entertainment, and we all know you can get pregnant, STD... from sex adding more stress on the family.
283848
I myself am now just getting my divorce finalized at the end of the month. The amount of time varies with how comfortable you feel about seeing another person. It takes some time to get adjusted to the "single life". I have to agree that you don't want to introduce your children to someone that isn't serious. It's bad enough you had your heart broken by someone but you don't want your kids to go thru that over and over. It doesn't make you look good as a parent and your kids will grow up seeing you differently. Bottom line is there is no set time limit. It's all on how and when you feel yourself when you are ready.
444369
dont make the mistake\nmarriage causes more divorce
374521
It wouldnt eliminate it. It might not even help it. Neglect and bad parenting come in all forms. Even those who rank higher in society.\nYou never really know what happens behind closed doors even in the most prestigious of houses.\n\nA person can win you over on paper but that doesnt make them a good parent. Just like a person who wouldnt neccesarily look like a good parent on paper could make the most caring loving parent.
329880
Every case is different.\nEvery child is different.\nA child in an abusive environment even if the child is not being abused is effected.  How they grow and develop in life will be a legasy of the environment he/she grew up in.\n\nMost children 10 and older understand the idea of not getting along, as they deal with it in school\n\nBut they don't understand the commitment you made to your spouse upon making your vows.\n\nIn general, kids do better in a complete family environment even if there is a bit of disfunction.  BUt if the relationship is totally a mess, then separation is the better choice.  The kids will suffer a bit, but will resolve, and understand the situation more as they grow into their own relationships.\n\nA very difficult answer to give.  There are too many variables.\n\nI came from a broken home, and I feel it was best for our situation.  My father was a womanizer, liar, and a cheat in every regard.  I knew it already at 11, when my mom finally said enough.  I was raised by my mom, and subsequently my step dad, who was a good 'father' to me.  He let me grow up and make mistakes, and generally let me do my living.  Only if I was out of line did he step in.  So, for me the divorce was the better deal as a child.\n\nIt really depends on the age, the environment, and the social development of the children , AND they should be given ALL your consideration if you do divorce.\n\nAlso, it is important to remember the only real winner in a divorce is the attorney.   They laugh at the fighting because it puts new cars in their driveway, while it leaves you destitute.  Remember an amicable break up is of great benefit.  To you and the family as a whole.  Also, a good relationship with the person you "did" love after the divorce will help the transision for the kids.