how do i tell him i have herpes?
342718
I'm so sorry to even have the knowledge to tell you this. I contracted HSV from a boyfriend of a year after he had unprotected sex with some slut in Atlanta and then crawled into my bed. Now I am in new relationship with a man I've known for nearly two years. I will have to tell him about herpes too. After herpes, everything in my life changed, but it wasn't the disease that hurts the most -it's the stigma, hurt, and the inability to trust someone else. After the first outbreak it's pretty much smooth sailing except all those old feelings are brought up with every new outbreak. Three years ago, I had a relationship with a man who admitted after we had dated and had sex for nine months that he had herpes. At first, I was okay with it until I realized that he lied to me. He lied by not saying anything. He made the decision that I wasn't a person enough to decide whether I wanted herpes in my life. Then I wondered, "What other decisions is he making for me?" That was scary. Then Mr. I'm Getting Kicks in Atlanta took my ability to choose. He decided that it would be easier to not tell me that there was another person in our bed than to tell me the truth. Someone has already taken your ability to choose, but you and I have no right to do that to someone else. You don't want to go into your new relationship and have someone feel that way about you. Approximately 1 in 4 people have genital herpes and really it's no big deal. The stigma is the thing that ruins people's lives. If it didn't exist than there might be better relationships. I will be telling my next partner within as soon as sex comes up. Tell him in a relaxed setting (clothes on) and really talk to him. Tell him before you've had any sexual contact. It's okay if he's weirded out by it. Tell him, "I know what it feels like not to be valued as person because someone did that to me. I care for you and I want there to be no secrets between us. I have herpes." Give him an envelope filled with reading material so that he can see for himself. Then quickly tell him what herpes means, i.e. a noncurable skin condition. Try to be as positive as possible, he is going to look for cues from you to understand how to feel. Personally, I won't be choosing another sex partner now before marriage. I know this makes this harder, but I consider this a huge warning to not trust "Goodtime Charlie" with a go-round with my body. It's worth more than that.
45870
1. Herpes is spread by direct skin to skin contact. Unlike a flu virus that you can get through the air, herpes spreads by direct contact, that is, directly from the site of infection to the site of contact. For example, if you have a cold sore and kiss someone, you can transfer the virus to their mouth. Similarly, if you have active genital herpes and have vaginal or anal intercourse, you can give your partner genital herpes. Finally, if you have a cold sore and put your mouth on your partners genitals (oral sex), you can give your partner genital herpes. \n\n2.Although there is no cure for herpes, some drugs have been effective in reducing the frequency and duration of outbreaks. It might be a good idea to discuss options with your doctor. \n\nDuring an outbreak, keep the infected area as clean and dry as possible. This will help your natural healing processes. Some doctors recommend warm showers in order to cleanse the infected area. Afterwards, towel dry gently, or dry the area with a hair dryer on a low or cool setting. To prevent chaffing, some people also find it helpful to avoid tight-fitting undergarments. Most creams and lotions do no good and may even irritate. \n\nFinally, a healthy immune system may be important in controlling the virus. Don't ignore the need for proper nutrition, exercise, and rest.
1147491
Not sure where the diploma falls into things *scratches head* Is that new catch phrase?  Do you mean diaphram?  Some kind of birth control?  Anyway...\n\nStart by telling him you're a virgin.  Then tell him how much he means to you, how he makes you feel, and what's so special about him.  Tell him that you have so much trust and respect for him that you want to share this experience with him.  If he feels ready to move into that phase of your relationship, then he should reciprocate.\n\nBut... if you're too shy to broach the subject so gently, just blurt out, "Hey!  Wanna bump uglies?"\n\nHave fun, safe sex.
999010
Unfortunately there is no other way to make him feel more protected. You did use a condom and that is about the only way to prevent the spread of it besides abstaining completely. Back off of him and give him time to think about what he wants from a relationship with you and if he even wants to be with you. I suggest joining a few groups of Yahoo that is designed for people with herpes. You can find someone who already has the disease so you dont have to go through a mess like this again.
649638
Herpes can be spread through kissing. Anytime bodily fluids are mixed there is a chance. The only way to avoid getting STD's at all is bY TiTTiE FUC*KING! AND LETTING HIM FU*CK YOU IN THE NOSE AND EAR TILL YOUR BRAIN IS NUMB!
1002619
yes, you can contract herpes through oral sex.  be careful, because you can contract it even if the person is not currently experiencing an outbreak.
894806
It is very important that you see a doctor.\n70% of people who get herpes got it from a partner that didn't have any symptoms. 1 our of 4 people have herpes and don't know it.\n\nBetter check with your doctor. You might have some other problem. And no unprotected sex
191235
What you really need to do is see a doctor.  Unfortunately, nothing can CURE herpes, but you CAN help yourself.  A doctor can let you know just what YOU should do... if you need to go on suppressive therapy (which studies show works quite well, half of all people who took it in a year trial were outbreak free in 6 months, a third were outbreak free for the whole year).  And if you DO think you have it, and are feeling lost, you should know that 1/5 of the American population actually has HSV (herpes), and a lot of them don't even know it.  (chances are, one of your close friends may have it). And I think it's like, 70% of the population who has ORAL herpes (cold sores).  For some reason, those are more socially acceptable in our society, even though it's ALMOST the same disease.  There are definately worse things that could happen to a person than this.  Plus, there are many studies going on as we speak, that perhaps one day WILL yield a cure to herpes... or at least even better treatments.  PLUS, studies also show that the longer you HAVE genital herpes, the less frequent the outbreaks get, and the less severe.  So, the advice I hope you follow... 1) see a doctor.  That should be the first step, if you haven't had it diagnosed, it's even possible its NOT herpes 2) Read up on it.  Learning more about an affliction can help you deal.  Good luck!
796497
Open your mouth and just tell him.
29657
The most important thing is that she tells him. Many people down talk shows but it is better to tell him than not. I suggest an e-mail. But if she wants it to be confidential, she should type a letter, or get an e-mail address specifically to tell him. She can get a close friend like you to do it as well. Some people may consider her a punk but the most important thing to do is tell him. The disease is not fatal.
540167
tell him you have crabs
559157
From what you are saying, I doubt your friend's boyfriend has herpes, especially in his mouth from oral sex.  There are a couple of types of herpes.  There is the herpes that causes fever blisters and cold sores.  This type of herpes is transmitted generally from sharing drinks, lipstick, kissing, so basically it is one that breaks out on the face and when contracted the face is what will be affected during breakouts.  \n\nThe other herpes, that would have been contracted during oral sex, is referred to as "genital herpes" and generally that is where the breakouts occur.  If you will remember all of the drug commercials on TV a year or so about a drug to reduce the time between breakouts and shortening the duration of the breakout. \n\nUnfortunately, both types of herpes are not curable.  There are definitely some things to help alleviate the pain, burning and embarrassment of them.  If your friend's boyfriend has the herpes virus that causes cold sores, then he can go to the drugstore and get an ointment for lips/mouth.  However, for a sore that has broken out inside his mouth there are two vitamins that help with this, they are L-Lysine and Lecithin.  I personally have the virus that causes the mouth breakouts.  By taking these vitamins as well as staying healthy, I hardly ever have a breakout.  Not even once a year, and when I do get them, they go away quickly. \n\nAlso, if you friend has what some people call a cold sore in his mouth, it could also be something else.  A canker sore or mouth ulcer.  This is usually caused by an unbalance of the vital bacteria your body needs called acidophilous.  He may want to get some acidophilous in pill form or get some acidophilous milk.  My brother used to get these alot when we were really young.  Not to gross you out, but it's also a great thing for women who suffer from yeast infections.  It's the same thing.  Just different locations. Just a note to self, bathing in acidophilous milk is great for a yeast infection.  (I have a sister who is a pharmacist, so I get alot of good information).
168879
Sorry, pal.  Herpes is a virus and its yours for life.  Fortunately it spends part of its time sleeping.  But you never know when it's going to wake up.
796316
Maybe tell him you have to forgo kissing for awhile until the infection in your gums heal.  You're only thinking of him; you'd hate to see him get this disease also!  Tell him you'll let him know when it is safe to kiss again.\n\nGood luck!
411680
Before he gets scarred for life (herpies never ever goes away) tell her to tell him about the STD.  Make sure she knows that if she doesn't tell him, you will.  It isn't your place to step into their affairs, but this is serious if he doesn't know.
405934
Herpes is not as bad as it's made out to be when treated and when you learn to avoid outbreaks with supplements, life changes and sometimes meds.  And, Guys can have it and not even know, as there can just be a small red bump on the underside of the penis that he can't see or feel.\n\nIt sucks if they didn't tell you before, if they knew and I would be more concerned about the honesty factor.
113905
tell him up front and honest about it