he wants me to move with him to another city and i dont want to go...?
350881
Well, is there anyway of compromise? Is the distance between the place of his new job in september and your stable job place too great to commute from a place that's in between the two places?  \n\nIf it is commutable distance for you two, then I suggest that you and your husband staying in a rental home or a reasonably priced apartment that's nearer to your two job places and renting your new house or keeping it for your selves for later.  After all, being so far apart from your husband seems to hurt your relationship with him to the point that it might lead to a bigger issue in future (like god forbid, a divorce).  Communication and intimacy are important keys in a relationship; without them, a person can lose many things in life that he/she might regret later.\n\nHowever, if the distance seems to be too great, then you can stay in your new home by yourself while your husband again goes to the job place and works but I would like to suggest that you two take many oppurtunities that you can to make up for the lessened communication and intimacy in your lives by visiting in the weekends or monthly (whatever suits your schedules).\n\nWhile stable jobs are important to life, a stable relationship is also important to life.  It's up to you two to calmly figure out the balance between the supporting your relationship while having jobs so that both will be happy in the end instead of being frustrated about not understanding the different levels of importance the two of you give to the relationship and work.  After all, you two are individuals and as such you two have different ideas and beliefs over what's important to each of your lives.  To find out the differences and to understand and respect eachother's ideas and beliefs, please do talk seriously about it so that you two can better balance between your relationship and works.\n\nGood luck!
50671
Depends on how much you feel you love him. If you think you can do a long distance thing and visit each other once and a while, you can always try, but you have to really trust him, either that or you two could have an open relationship while apart. Or you could just totally break it off. \n\nI don't suggest moving to be with him. Once you do that you can never take it back, and if something happens, you're stuck in New York with nothing. Plus it causes a lot of undue stress in the relationship, if you move, you unwittingly have something to hold over his head, and he will always feel as if you can use it against him as in "I moved up here for THIS?!" Even if you don't use it against it, it will still act as underlying tension between the two of you.
587272
Sounds like he just wanted an excuse to leave. Sorry if that sounds harsh, but its the vibe I get from your description. Try to move on and find someone who will love you and be honest with you. Best of Luck.
187550
Take him aside,and tell him."I don't want to brake up w/ you,but since you're moving........."Talk to you at school,love ya like a sis.
484379
I can understand your problem.  Is it possible for you to move closer to a city and get your own vehicle?  That way you could have the best of both worlds where you live 10 minutes from the city and yet don't lose the country life your husband loves.  I find living out in the country to be the best thing because I don't have to deal with the city except when I want to.  At the very least make your husband get you your own vehicle so you can do stuff.
614960
No, don't start something that can't last. If you think it can last after you move then give it a try. I think the guy needs to tell your friend that he has feelings for you. If your relationship will ruin your friendship with your friend then don't do it.
827144
Quit calling him... him going out of town will maybe give him a chance to clear his head and realize that you are what he wants. If not, then you don't want someone who doesn't want you. He obviously cares or he wouldn't have introduced you as his girlfriend! exspecially to his friends. I would say back off and he will come around. Hope things work out the way you want!
1057029
Given that you live so far away from each other, I would have to say that he found someone else, and is trying to see what happens with that person. I would get out of that situation!!! Do you really want to be a backup plan? Find someone who is willing to be there and not play games with you.
853247
I restraining order works rather well, and so does relocation. He may become dangerous and may try to hurt you. I would definitely seek the help of the authorities. Talk to a policeman and see what they can do or what you should do. Keep friends and family around whenever possible. Do not go anywhere by yourself.
73235
The part about her boyfriend moving to New York, assuming you and her live elsewhere, sounds promising, but there was that first part that seems unsurpassable ...\n\n... she hates you?\n\nI think you need to move on and find someone else.  Preferrably someone who doesn't hate you.
853146
I will translate guy for you....I want to move in with you but do not want to be rejected by you....\nHe may not mind the kids...If I were you I would never ever let him move in...You are making a good stand. Keep it up.
192153
depends.. Where does your boyfriend want you to go.. and if it isnt a good place or what you really want, don't do it. Take time to figure out what you want, and then make your decision
1035218
Been there.  Ultimatums are never good. Small towns are full of gossip. The transition is easier because of family and friends. Both of you list pros/cons of where you'd like to live. Ask him if he'd be willing to check out some places that would fit what you're both looking for.  He may feel that you are choosing to move home to get away from him. Try to compromise. I did and I don't regret not moving back home. I found things that I really liked about where I live and we have been here for 25 years. Really think about this before you do or say something that you can't take back. I hope I helped.
1034632
THATS UP TO YOU. WHAT IS YOUR GUT FEELING??? IF YOUR HEART IS SAYING GO WITH HIM THEN GO. IF YOUR HEART IS SAYING NO THEN STAY HOME.
691791
Moving back to your hometown can be hard after you've been out in the "real" world.  Many people associate home with certain things - like childhood, which can cause them to feel they aren't accomplishing what they should be.  \nIf you feel that these feelings you have aren't because of him and it's because of moving back home - you might try talking to a trusted friend or counselor to help you sort it out.\nEither way you should talk to him and tell him what you are going through right now, so that he knows you aren't trying to pull away from him or that you aren't unhappy with him.  \nAnother idea would be to maybe move a bit further away from "home" - like 30mins, close enough to everything but far enough away so you feel you have your own life.
1080257
Babydoll, I think you haven't really thought this through too well. This  piece of buttwipe did you a favor & you want him to hurt you more?? If you ever think about relocating to The Sun City, you come on over & "Holla" at me & I'll be showing you what it feels like to have someone care about you, your feelings & not be such an arsehole to continuously rub your nose in mistakes of your past (believe me, I should know about mistakes from my past!)
274734
Wow, that is a big decision.  Colorado for the most part is a wonderful place but I think it is important to do what is best for you regardless of the location.  My biggest concern about this boy is that here he is asking you to come and be with him but he isn't even willing to go back to your state to see you.  To me that is selfish and shows that he really isn't in love with you.  My biggest fear is that you would get out to Colorado and then he would dump you and you would be stuck out there away from family and friends on your own.  Even if things worked out between the two of you, wouldn't you want to go home sometimes and visit family and friends?  Would he be willing to go with you like a real boyfriend or would you be stuck doing that on your own with him complaining about your going?  It just doesn't seem like a very good choice.  If you decide to move to Colorado, do it for you and not for him.