why for a girl after abortion its difficult to face the world and the husband to be?
354222
It is really tough to go through these times. Was the baby from your future husband?\nYou must hate the world for bringing you to take this decision. But you will move on.\nHowever, you have decided what is best for you. This will prove in the future.\nExpect to find difficult to look at babies/ yound children, for the next 12 months at least.\nExpect to remember "this baby" when you give birth for the first time, even 10 years later.\nExpect to occasionally wonder if it would have been a boy or a girl, and how old he/she would be now... Been there.\nYou need to move on, accept that there will a down phase first and some sadness later.\nGood luck to you
380598
I am against abortion too. But I agree with what the others said, that you have to accept the people you love, even if you don't agree with the choices they make.\n\nAnd I am in a perfect situation to talk about this because I have been in your situation once. Two years ago, when I was 23 years old, my then-14-year old sister got pregnant (by a 25-year old guy). I didn't know that she was pregnant until 2 months after she had the abortion. I live away from home so I never knew. Nobody in our family knew.\n\nWhen she told me all about it, you could probably imagine how I felt. Words fail to describe it, but let me try... Initially, I was upset. My sister was 14!! How could she get pregnant at that age?! She was a minor! And that guy is even older than I am. And then I thought about the abortion. I find abortion despicable. Sick. And I was depressed at the idea that my sister had to go through that -- at such a young age at that... Then again, would I have wanted her to go through the pregnancy and have that baby? We are barely middle class in a third world country (Philippines) and life is hard as it is. Another mouth to feed is simply unthinkable.\n\nSo you see, I did not approve of my sister's decision, and until now, I still think of the "what ifs." What if she didn't get the abortion? What if she never got pregnant? What if she never met that guy? But I wouldn't know if I would approve otherwise. And I guess I am a bit relieved that I didn't have to make the decision myself. Because if I were her, I wouldn't know what to do.\n\nSo, you see, there are really some lose-lose situations where you simply have to choose. \n\nUntil now, I'm still anti-abortion. I wouldn't want to get an abortion. But I guess we really can't say, unless we're in that situation ourselves... I keep thinking, what if I am abused and I get pregnant, will I want the baby? What if I get pregnant and I know that there'll be a good chance that the baby will be deformed (maybe because I got exposed to toxic chemicals, for instance) and will therefore have a difficult life? Will I still want the baby? So many questions. I still don't have the answer.\n\nRight now, my sister is living with me. She has learned a lesson -- the hard way -- and so have I. \n\nI will not ask you to you to tolerate what your sister did. What she did may or may not be a mistake. But please try to communicate with your sister. It may not have been an easy decision for her and she may need your moral support. Please give what you can... If not, then she may be a hardened person who isn't, in any way, affected by what she did... But I don't think she is, knowing that she has a sister like you.\n\nI am against abortion, but I also believe in choices. And I also believe that one mistake cannot be corrected by another mistake. And condemning her may yet be another mistake. Your sister may have done a BIG mistake, but we really cannot judge because we were never in her position.\n\nTake care and God bless.
442231
Well, speaking from experience, my husband started out like a dream and a few years later ended up a nightmare.  I can't speak for all women, however, sometimes we are blind to many things because of love, fear and insecurities.
156800
When in a relationship, it's probably a wise choice to ask your partner (if he is the father).  Support is very helpful when facing such decisions.  However, the father cannot make the final choice.  Pregnancy is something that physically affects only the woman.  It can be a very rough period of time.  Abortions are no walk in the park either.  A man should not be able to make a woman have an abortion nor should he be able to prevent one.
470730
You state, "SO IF YOU DON'T LIKE THIS THEN JUST STOP READING MY POSTS," may I suggest you take you own advice? If you don't like the abortion laws in this country, why not "STFU" about it and move to a country where abortion is illegal?\n\nYou seem very stressed out. Ranting and raving without any regard for logic, punctuation or grammar can do that to a person. Why not make things easier on yourself? I'm sure you'd find Haiti lovely. Or maybe somewhere in Sub-Saharan Africa is more your style? If not, there are plenty of other 3rd world countries to choose from.\n\nGood luck.
403462
Do you really want to see back street abortions? My God what if your sister (God forbid) was raped and fell pregnant, what if the baby was so badly deformed it would spend the rest of it's life in and out of hospital having painful treatment.\n\nI have a friend who tried for years to get pregnant and when she found out she was she decided she didn't want it after all and had an abortion. People like that make me sick, she was just selfish and wanted a new toy.\n\nYou have to look at each case, everyone is different. I'd give the world to have a baby but I can't and it makes me sick when someone casually says "the baby, oh I changed my mind and got rid of it." I just think FFS why didn't you give it to me.
1104565
He did not "Make" you do anything... you chose to have sex, knowing that sex could get you pregnant. When you became pregnant, he may have exerted a great deal of pressure and influence, but YOU signed the consent forms to have the procedure.\n To terminate a pregnancy is a very painful choice and I'm very, very sorry that it's a decision you were faced with but you cannot make your boyfriend bear all the blame.\nCall the doctor who did the procedure and ask for a referral to a counselor who specializes in helping with the issues of post-abortion depression... even women who know without any doubt that their choice was right often have trouble dealing with the physical and emotional aftermath.\nPlease seek help instead of seeking revenge.
553742
I guess you should have considered this before you got married and knocked up.  You are in a real pickle honey.  They have to know the truth so you might just as well get it overwith.  They are going to have to deal with it.  Doesnt sound like they have much choice now.  Maybe from now on you shouldnt hide things for so long.
490747
If I were you, I will just ask her! And don't be scared about her response, she should be happy that there is one who cares about future and is responsible! \nI know it is hard to talk about such things, but believe me, you both feel better after that!\nBe careful, it is better to use a condom instead of being a future father! Abortion is not a simple thing for a girl.
159118
i think that you have just gotten used to him. why put yourself through all of this pain. i know how you feel. i dated a guy for about 5 years and i finally had to end it and it took me a very long time (years) to get almost over him, i still have dreams about him. but you are in an abusive realtionship (emotioanlly) you need to get out before it gets any worse. and i beleive that it has to be torture for him too. it might not be love it just might be that you are in your comfort zone. get out while you're still young. i don't condone abortion but i think that you not having the baby was a very wise decision for you two, i just wanted to let you know that. good luck and be strong... for yourself
511494
why do you have abortion as your only topic of "choice" today?  \n\nlooking back at your question history, i'd say that you have some issues.  \n\nseek help.
764575
The majority of miscarriages is spontaneous abortion to which her body is aware that there is a genetical defect to the fetus and whcih case it desides to remove it from the body.   What she and her husband  need to do is go to a genetic counslor and they will run genetical tests.  The fact that she had a child that died of a rare heart disease is a HUGE signal.  Probably the doctors aren't thinking logially about his situation and not really seeing the overall picture.
435327
Wow!!  Either you're really brave, or a pot stirrer!!!  I like that! ;) I think you really opened a can of worms, though.  \nI believe in the right to choose, and also that the soul enters whenever it is ready... I lost a baby between my two kids, and it broke my heart. And, no, I didn't abort it, it miscarried.  I guess that the soul who would have used that vehicle chose not to come into this world at that time.  The whole idea that the body is the whole of a person, that the death of a body equals death of a soul, is absurd.  We come here to learn whatever lessons our soul has charted out, and sometimes we aren't quite ready when the body, or embryo, that we thought would provide us with the best opportunity for learning those lessons is ready for us.  At that point there is either a spontaneous death, or, sometimes, the mother's soul and the incoming soul have agreed that an abortion is part of the experience for each. If a soul is meant to be incarnated at a given point in time, there will be a vehicle ready to facilitate that incarnation.  No soul has to go without just because someone decided that she wasn't, for whatever reason, able to play the role of mother at that time.  \nThose who judge others should be very careful that they don't set themselves up to prove that they would truly do a "more virtuous" job with the same set of circumstances.  I get so sick of people who say, "well, if I were you, I'd do it differently."  Wow, don't quite realize the absurdity of that, do you?  If you were me, you'd have all my past experiences, and all my reasons, and you'd make  precisely the same choice I did, because you would then cease to be you.   \n  And just a word  or two to the man who feels that "such a woman" shouldn't be allowed to ever be a mother.....you aren't ever going to be allowed to be a mother, either...maybe that's because you're no more qualified than those you are judging.  And maybe next time you come back here to learn lessons, you'll decide to experience for yourself what it feels like to be faced with such a hideous decision.  Have you ever held the hand of a heartbroken woman who feels that she has no other choice, and felt your own heart break because you couldn't help her come to some sort of peace with the gut-wrenching guilt, and self-loathing that followed?  Have you ever thought about how horribly difficult such a decision must be, and what awful straits a person would have to be in, to even consider that as an option?  \nThe Cherokee say that a man should not judge until he has walked a thousand miles in another's mocassins.  Do you qualify?  I think not, or you would have learned compassion.  And if you are a Christian, do you really think Jesus would be as beligerant and vicious as you are showing yourself to be?  I thought the goal of christianity was for people to emulate Jesus, and that includes having the same loving, compassionate, non-judging attitudes he has.  All of you who judge should re-think the place where you are standing.  If you were utterly without sin, then you would be utterly compassionate.  If He isn't judging, how can you justify doing it in His place?
465245
I'm not sure why she'd do this, but without judgement, she probably can't cope and has probably been feeling this way for a long time. People don't recognise that some women can have post natal for a very long time too, not just in infancy stage. Don't blame, if she does call it's good, and don't reprimand her either for leaving. She may be too confused to answer any question's, and if she wants to come back then allow her to talk. I'm sure there are other maritible problems as well. Maybe you two need to talk without the kids, in a neutral place about things and then go from there, if she's willing, and you haven't lost contact with her. Just remember she may feel she's doing this to so she won't hurt you and the children from her own negative behaviour.
351036
All the kids, wives and animals that may be suffering that night somewhere in the world. I am a Case Worker and am plagued with the thoughts of all the kids I couldn't reach or the wives that can't speak out. Often I wake up my husband to pray with me for this at bedtime because It's a hard burden to carry alone.
530143
I married my high school sweetheart b/c he got me pregnant. Not only did I put myself in a dangerous situation (he is a very violent alcoholic) I put my precious newborn in the same situation. It took him almost seriously injuring her to make me realize that a broken home wouldn't be the worst thing for her, but growing up with a father that might get too angry one day and kill you would be.
1092563
all these could contribute, and most often, i think it's from expectations and hormones... not that i thought badly of my babies, but pregnancy brings forth so many expectations and ups and downs, and afterwards, i found myself physically and emotionally and mentally exhausted... your body goes thru so many changes, bizarre and extreme, and it takes a strong support system to bring yourself back to "normal" sometimes... i have suffered and recovered from ppd, it's not some petty, poor-mom-excuse for choosing to be sad and depressed, it's very real, and has nothing to do with how much you love your baby, yourself, or your significant other...