i rsvp'd that I would attend a wedding and now i can't go - is it very rude to back out?
348680
When I got married a lot of people didn't turn up, I was a little disappointed but fully understood that the world does not revolve around me. Anyone who has their head out of the clouds will be ok about it as long as you let them know in advance that you won't be attending. I was a bit annoyed that a few people didn't do that for me & a lot of food was wasted because of it.
246275
I do not even know that you can invite someone to wedding receptrion ONLY. I never heard anyone doing this. And honestly, I find it rude.\n\nBut, if indeed this happen, it would also be rude on the part of the invited guest not to come.\n\nI think its a good gesture for the guest to bring a gift but one should never expect a guest to bring a gift.
535334
Well, I think since she is inviting you and your wife to her wedding, there is no chance that your ex still wants you. I'd say something casual like, "I just got an email from xxxx, and she invited us to her wedding" and laugh. You have no reason to feel guilty about the situation it seems.
849961
why would that be rude? It is their wedding, they can do what they want. Those who waited all day for a glimpse are stupid for wasting their time.
720492
Both.\nThe party that sent the invite expects you either confirm your attendence or let them know that you won't be able to make it.\nGenerally, it's bad manners not to RSVP, if the invite asks you to do so (esp. if it askes you to RSVP by a certain date).\nRSVP's are very helpful when trying to figure out how much food, seating, etc. will be needed.  So it's a common courtesy to RSVP, and the sooner--the better.
906468
The two of you need to sit each other down and reach an agreement because you want different things. Together I'm sure that you will be able to reach a compromise, the thing is if you have a church wedding and invite friends and family they will expect you to have a reception afterwards. Or why don't you suggest that instead of having a reception you just take a few close family members and friends to a restaurant and have a meal, which would be nice.  Also wedding dresses come in all shapes, and styles explain to him that you don't want a fancy wedding dress just something that is simple. After all it's your wedding day and as long as the two of you are happy with what you decide to do then that is the main thing. It's your wedding you don't necessarily have to have all the extras. Remember the most important thing is your life after the wedding
746018
Can I ask why you didn't offer to pay for the tux rental but pay for his girlfriends' dress which cost $200. I agree with most of the people leaving comment. You haver every right to be upset afterall, he did leave you hanging on your wedding. I would be  very upset. Give yourself sometime to get over it. When you are calm and ready to speak to him ask what his excuse was. In the future don't rely on him on important events such as this. I know it's easy to be said and done...try to talk to him and if he give you a good enough reason see if you can let it go...Blood is thicker than water no matter what you guys are sibling can't be mad at him for a lifetime.....Do give him hell for it and let him know how much he hurt  you for doing such things....
890243
I know how you feel- no relaxed visiting- just a mad dash to make it to the next get together.  Its nice to be invited to more than one place, but it is a strain and really no fun to have to rush through a visit or dinner.  \n     You have a good idea, I think if I were you, I would go ahead and separate for the day to each family.  Especailly since you have family that you only see this time of year.  That time is precious- and you won't get the time back.
53991
You ask each, in person and privately, if they will do you the great favour of standing up with you at your wedding as your bridesmaid or maid of honour.\nIt is an honour to be asked, but it is also a huge commitment of time and money, so if one of your friends feels she can't honour the obligations that come with that great compliment, she should be allowed to decline in private.\nBy the way, as for the wording, I LOVE Fizzxx's answer...that's beautiful.
872754
Just say you can't make it on such short notice; you have other plans.  It's obvious that you weren't on the initial guest list and she's just trying to fill the empty seats of people who declined.  SO I wouldn't worry about hurting her feelings.
577836
People can be so uncouth. Who ASKS for an invitation to a wedding? Especially these days when we all know how much it costs to add an extra two people to the list? I had this happen to me too, sadly you just have to suck it up. Some people just like to go to social events, some people might actually care about who is getting married, and some people just have no clue about etiquette.
326998
Do it anyway you feel comfortable and can afford. Unless you have children. Then please do it quietly and discreetly.  I am getting sick and tired of attending weddings where the kids are in the ceremony.
1161421
You shouldn't feel offended then if she didn't invite any of the family. Maybe she didn't want to be bothered by everyone and was planning on announcing it after the wedding was over. Did you ask her about it?
736432
I would send out the invites, but you probably wont' be as much RSVP's as you would like sinces its such short notice.  I would just send them out and hope for the best.  Remember even the first set you sent out, a lot of people are going to come who didn't RSVP so be prepared for that.
246538
I had a situation where I'd chosen someone as my bridesmaid who was a close friend of my husband's and was also dating my brother at the time.  During the course of the engagement she went nuts and ran off to Australia and screwed over both of my men.  Needless to say she was out of the wedding, and had she not run off I would've asked her to not be in the wedding anyways.  \n\nAs for you, I would just tell her that it seems she's too busy to be able to meet your deadlines and requests, and also with the status of her relationship with you and your family changing you think it's better off she not be in the wedding party, but that you'd love to still have her as a guest.
385469
Are you officially married?  Do you love the person your with? Were your guests your close friends and family?  If yes, then most likely, the guests were just happy to be there to share such a joyous event.  What the event looked like, or actually cost, or what the service was like, means nothing compared to the joy, happiness, friendship, and company that's shared on a wedding day.  If you still feel upset about the reception, invite some of your closest friends/relatives, and throw a backyard bbq or small dinner.  That way, you can share some special time with the people you care about without having to worry about everything working out perfectly.\n\nCongratulations! Best of luck with your new marriage!
873328
You weren't socially acceptable because you went against the crowd. Though you were really doing the right thing, they are buttheads and have excluded you from the clique. Be to the point about it and ask them why they are being hypocrits... if they are rude find a new circle...