Do sons ever get what their dads didnt give them?
354129
It is not only boys and men who suffer from "father hunger." When I was about the same age you are, I wanted a daddy so bad, it literally made me feel sick every time I thought about it. I grew up with a stepfather who made it clear right from the start that I couldn't expect anything from him except a roof over my head, food on the table and the clothes on my back. \n\nI don't know if it was all the family shows on TV that showed little girls running to their Dad's and being tossed in the air, or having their pony-tails pulled while they teased and played with them that made me feel that way. Perhaps it was the scenes where they shared a little girl heartache or problem and Daddy helped them fix it that got to me. I don't know, but it got to me. I just wanted to be daddy's little princess. Not my own Dad, you understand. A REAL Dad, a fantasy bigger than life.\n\nWhen my own daughter was born, and later my son, I grieved that there was no Grand Dad around to brag up his grandchildren, and be there to spoil them rotten the way you see it portrayed in the movies and TV shows. It took me years to get over the worst of these feelings. They would come upon me whenever I was stressed out about things that were happening in my life. I just needed a support figure I guess, and I didn't have one. I learned to stand on my own two feet and fight my own battles, but I've always felt cheated out of something that should have been my right. \n\nI don't know what the answer is for you, but you could do what my brother who was in the same boat did. He surrounded himself with male friends. He belonged to ball teams, he went bowling with the guys, he did a lot of fishing and camping and other male oriented things. He had friends in every age bracket and each one filled a different need for him. He spent a few years in the Yukon, working in the mining industry and there were times he never saw a female for weeks at a time. Lord did he appreciate them when he did! He was a handsome dude, my bro and never had any problems getting a girl. He always worked at jobs that were basically male oriented. Construction, road crews, mining, logging, etc. Think about these things and see if anything catches your interest. \n\nI agree that you should involve yourself more with your church and join some of the men's groups. Prayer groups are not just about sitting around reading the Bible. You would be surprised at what comes up for discussion! You could share your feelings and ask them to pray with you about it. Once they know where your heart is, they might involve you more in the activities that men enjoy. Either way I believe that you need to spend more time with the guys. \n\nYou were probably surrounded with females all your growing up years. My brother was and so was I now that I think about it. He had two sisters and a single mom (she divorced my stepdad when we were both in our early teens). There were no uncles or cousins to hang out with since all our relatives lived hundreds of miles away. My mom worked too hard raising her kids to have much of a social life. She never remarried.\n\nI hope some of this has helped you to understand that you are not alone in your feelings of wanting some of that "Dad stuff" for yourself. I hope you find a good way to work this out. I will be praying that you do. You will often come to my mind because I could have written that question almost word for word when I was your age, only changing the gender.\n\nGod bless and keep you.
1028248
My dad is a stranger to me now, also. The only difference is that I grew up with him around. He forgot to pick me up when he was supposed to, missed my recitals and concerts, treated my mom very badly, etc. He finally divorced my mom 5 years ago and it was a relief. He wasn't always bad, but he thought that providing money for the family was showing love to them. He still sends me money occasionally. I'm not really sure if it is out of guilt or if he just still thinks he is showing me he cares. He has a new family now and gives them most of his money, but still none of his time or attention. What I'm trying to say is that just because he was there, it doesn't mean it was better, and not all dads know how to be good dads. \n\nI have learned that I am much more peaceful just not having any expectations. I rely on my family that has been there for me always and I do everything I can for myself. You can't be disappointed if you don't have expectations.\n\nI'm assuming that you come from a different culture than mine because you say that you have a right to demand things because you are the eldest. He may not even really consider you his family because he only just met you. Let go of your expectations and hope for his sake that he will some day realize what he missed out on and seek you out.\n\nBest wishes.
425616
Having my son was the most special moment in my life(even though I regret his father) My son taught me alot about life and he couldn't even talk good. No matter how much I yelled at him or all the things I went through, his smiles and i love u's made everything okay. And he still makes me feel like that. Some moments really do last forever.
1029251
My dad said " I will always love you son."\nMy mom on the other hand didn't take to well at first.  Now my dad tries to hard and my mom , just doesn't care.  All my friends act the same way they always have, bu task really dumb questions sometimes.
697491
Don't fret.... dads know about these things too.  Just tell him what ya need.
487612
Yes! there is! I use to feel the same way....My daughter biological father lied, cheated and hurt me and left me pregnant...three years later I met my husband! He's a great guy...he's raised my daughter and he respects me and has never through in my face my past. I'm blessed that I found him.....So pray and stay posistive! And play hard to get Men love the challenge...Trust me I have 3 brothers!\n\nGood Luck
456092
no when he found out that you had a son he was supposed to accept everything about what might happen with him that is something that a lot of people don't realize , when you get serious with someone you atre telling them that you accept all of thier flaws and anything else that may arise in the relationship.
344042
I have.... I had a rough time when I didn't make much money and couldn't make my whole payments (made partials). They totaled up the back payments and took away my license even though I kept trying to call and pay it off.... I could never get through to anyone at the local office!!  I have since payed off all of it and I'm still waiting on my license to be reactivated.  They offer little help to the few fathers who are trying to do the right thing.  By the way.... my son spends every weekends with me.... I'm not just there for financial support.
682595
Don't even get me started! To be brief...\nMy brother's kid get what he wants when he wants he dictates to his parents what to do. His parents say, "We wanted to go out to Italian, but he wanted McDonald's". They don't discipline that kid at all. I'm sure he'll fail later in life.
952618
Unfortunately, some states have mandated that if a child is born within a marriage then the husband is the father regardless of who the biological father is. Good men end up paying for kids that belong to some other deadbeat.
1167279
No - It is owed to the Children\nThey can however send it back after collecting it.\n\nBut Why, Their responsibility is to the Children not the one that abandoned the family
972614
Yes they can.  My father found out this the hard way after never paying his child support.  As a result until all of that past due support is paid up (plus interest) his SS check is being garnished.  He also has young daughter that they are hitting him for now until she gets out of school.
464734
laws very from state to state. i don't think you can collect support after the child was adopted because the father would have to give up his rights. when he did that he relieves his self of past payments due. most men give up there rights as a father to keep from paying child support. but i would check w/ a lawyer to be on the safe side.
1068131
absoultely nothing, my dad lives in another state and my husband is out to sea on a submarine right now so my kids cant' do anything special for him today.  but i did send my dad a gift and gave my hubby a few gifts before we went out to sea.
879406
you have hit the nail right on the head. If they can't be a part of their lives,then they don't deserve the title DAD!
796579
The closest I got was my ex.  We lived in a small town and everyone knew my boyfriend including the cops.  They didnt take one of my calls seriously and took 4 hours to get there.  Once they got there, they were talking and joking with my boyfriend while I was moving my things out of the house.  I later went back to get a copy of the police reports I had done so I could have them with me if he ever took me to court for custody of my son and they didnt have any reports from me on file... just one from my ex about me hitting him which never happened.  Sometimes, I cant believe that it happened.. that people who were suppose to protect me and my kids were helping this abusive jerk out.
427071
It happened to me when I had my son at 16.I just accepted the ignorance of my family and moved on.My son is 12 now,ans I wouldn't trade him for anything in the world!!