I've got a 21 year old daughter who ihas recently starting dating a 35 year old man.  I have fears! Help!?
344790
I know it's upsetting to you right now, but generally these age things work themselves out.  The May/December thing seems nice at first: it's a pleasant change for the older person to have a frisky young person with them and the younger person likes having the responsible, older mature person.  However, these differences become something they begin to dislike and generally they will break up once they realize they have such different lives.  Don't worry about it for a couple of months.  If things get more serious, then talk to your daughter about your fears.
938545
my man and I have a 13 year age difference too however when we got together I was 23 and he was 36  now its five years later and we are still together...the difference is a 15 year old girl is not the person she is going to be yet...in 5 years she will resent you for keeping her from all of the experiences she would have had had she not been tied down in a grown up relationship...
1181304
My boyfriend is 43 and I am 25.  We have been together for 3 years now and it is the best relationship I have been in.  I couldn't imagine ever dating somebody my own age again.  They are so immature and in this relationship I feel like there is stability.  I think he will definitely stay with you because men like younger women and if you are good to him and he is good to you, it will work.
967609
Speaking as a Dad with a daughter about your age I have to tell you that I would worry about it... Boys his age have very strong sexual urges... If your mom finds out that you have had sex with him after he turns age 18 then he will get arrested for statutory rape and will go to jail.  That will most likely ruin any chances of him ever having a normal life with a good paying job... \n\nAlso, there is a big difference in mental age between 14 and 17... He may already be driving and is starting to find his way in the world... If he goes to college you can be sure that he will find a college girl because there is so much freedom to do what you want on a college campus and more social situations will come up... Do you think that he will want to show off his 15 year old girlfriend to his college buddies?  Don't bet on it!\n\nHave patience.. Stick to someone your own age (or no boyfriend at all... just friends who happen to be boys).... when you are in college a 3 year difference in age won't seem that bad but at 14 there is a world of difference.\n\nYou may not like my answer but you did say that anyone with an opinion can answer...  Good Luck!
518724
Hey Me.... I am a mother and would feel very hurt if my child didn't tell me what was up and ran off with a 21 yr old. May I suggest that you sit down and talk with your parents. Yes they may be upset at first, but their your parents and will love you reguardless. Here is something else to think about. When I was your age I was head over hills for a man 7 yr older than me. I dated him for a year and realized that I wasn't in love with him, but liked his company because he listened to me when I thought my parents weren't. When it turn out they were. Then I met this cool guy my age and we dated all through highschool. So if you will take a suggestion from a mom..don't rush into anything take your time, because you never know a cool girl your age may come along that you relate to.
428185
It is a good idea that he doesn't meet her till you are both sure where your relationship is headed. You don't want to confuse your daughter. Your daughter could also become attached to him and if you both decide to end the relationship it's one less thing you have to worry about.
677784
I am 32 and you sound JUST like my mother did with my step father (my EX step father). You are NOT In a relationship. You may not want to hear it, but there it is, You are robbing your children, I wish someone would have told my mother this.  IF! you were in a relationship believe you me, you would NOT be the one driving an hour every time you see each other. It would be him, or at the VERY least one day you and the next him.  With gas about 3 dollars a gallon you have the audacity to spend the little money you have on gas to see him ( i mean you cant be rolling in the dough if all you can afford at the moment is a room), try adding that up and seeing how much further your dollar could stretch for you and your girls and the lifestyle you give them.  He isn't "scared", he is playing you.  He gets you to come to him, he doesnt deal with your girls, he doesnt offer financial help (even if you would say no thank you) \n\nHe seems to have no qualms that the woman he is seeing is living in a room with two preteen children. he DOES NOT LOVE you darlin'.  \n\nMy step dad was worse than your guy and anded up marrying my mom to get his green card, cheated and never cared about her children adn she STILL stayed with him, paid for EVERYTHING for him even when that meant her children went without.\n\nWe as women romanticize our relationships, but ask yourself this question objectively...\n\nIf one of your daughters was in the EXACT same situation, what would your advice be?\n\nAsk any male you know (that DOESNT KNOW HIM) for an honest answer to the question...."If you LOVE a woman and were doing well yourself, would you allow her to spend upwards of 50 dollars a week and and an hour commute to see you and leave her living in a room with her 2 children? they would answer that "NO they wouldnt, but if they were only sleeping with her or not serious, then YES!!!!!.  I have 4 brothers, I know of where I speak. When a man is in love, modern day independance is thrown ot the window, they only care about making her happy and protecting her.\n\nIt's the same instinct most mothers have as soon as they give birth.\n\nBest of luck darlin and im sorry if I sound harsh, I just dont want your children to resent you the way we resented my mother even long after he was out of the picture.  And you deserve to be with someone that shows you REAL love, respect and a man that is so excited to spend time with you and your girls that he not only commutes to see you, but does it happily and with glee.\n\nAgain, Best of luck.
489638
Yes, you are far more advanced than she is, she is probably just now getting to live her life. I say if you think there is some potential just talk to her some more to see where she is mentally and then decide if she is in fact mature enough to handle a relationship with a man your age. If not then don't waste your time, and don't set yourself up to be hurt by her infidelity and disrespect.
294767
this sound similar to what I went through. THe only difference is that my dad didn't step in. I pretty much grew up making mistates and learning from them on my own. I don,t recommend this at all. Get involved with her. Don't punish cause at this age they think that parents don't know any thing. Try to spend quality time with her and gradually talk about whats going on in her life. Remind her that you love her and want the best for her. Let her know that for any reason, you are there for her. Somewhere in your conversations ask her about her boyfriend. Even if you have to pretend, make her think that you see where she is coming from. 16 year olds need to know that their dad will be there for all of their life, even the mistakes. My dad just pretty much let me live and learn. I think I turned out o.k. but I still wish I would of had the guidance from my dad. My mom died when I was 10 and it was really hard for him, but he did not seek help. I really hope that things get worked out. Don't give up and try your best to be involved with your CHILD. She is still your child. The mom needs a good talking to. She is alot of the reason that your daughter is doing what she is doing. Explain your concerns and she is you can meet in the middle some where or at least come to some understanding on why this is not appropriate. She has alot of influence on her. Good luck.  Contact me and let me know how it goes.
948302
In my opinion anywhere above twenty years is too much of an age difference. I have no doubt in my mind at all that you and your girl will live a happy life together forever. As long as you are both treating each other with respect and courtesy then you should be just fine. Loving her is part of it but you also have to show her that you love her. Maybe you should renew your vows if you're married (hope you know what that means), or plan a surprise trip to a country she has always wanted to visit. I know that might sound like a hassle and quite a chunk of dough out of your pocket but from your description it sounds like it might be the only thing that will work... good luck in resolving this conflict, i will keep you and your girlfriend in my thoughts and prayers
1063647
there isn't anything wrong with you dating a woman old enough to be your mother. the problem only comes if you or she are doing it with an underlying motive. be careful.
1057385
This man is sick.  He has committed the ultimate infidelity to you and your daughter.  You MUST leave him or you will never have peace in your life.  It will hurt, but this must be done or you will die in your heart.  You are too good of a woman for that to happen.   Please leave him, for your own sake and the sake of your daughter.
887126
If you are 30 and she is 5, then you've got some serious hard time ahead of you.\n\nBut, if she's 20 and your 45, then "you the man!"
119275
I dated a guy who is 35 and i am 20 it was going great but he always told me that he was afraid that i would leave him for someone younger. He left me for someone older be careful. HE still is playing games wiht my heart telling me that he loves me and then hurts me again and goes to someone his age just becareful.\nI also lost my Virginity too him and has been the only one that may also be y it is so hard\nAge doesn't matter just becareful
905065
I met my husband on kiss.com ... and he turned out a total arse....he has a 18 year old daughter whom I knew nothing about until we got married....so be careful...
7504
Sorry but I have to answer your question with a question. 'WHY IS THIS GROWN MAN HANGING AROUND CHILDREN?'\n\nLook the age difference unfair  to both parties. When she's 18, he'll expect her to at like she's 24. And by the way Mister, when will you start maturing?\n\nLET THIS CHILD BE A CHILD.  She should be worring about her driver's licesne and promo dress and where she's going to attend college at.\n\nI WOULD CALL THE POLICE, JUST TO PROTECT THE CHILD. This has happened before, and when everyone said nothing will happen, well let's say that they were all wrong. AND RELIGION DOESN'T MEAN ANYTHING IN THIS CASE. ASK MOST CATHOLIC PRIEST.
152885
Well, from a legal stand point it is perfectly fine to be dating him. You do need to consider though, his experience in life vs your own. Chances are he has done a lot more living then you have. In the begining your age differences may not effect your relationship much, but in time he could become possesive and controlling and try to stop you from living your young carefree life. Wanting to settle down ect... I watched this happen to my sister, and before she knew what was happening she felt stuck, and had a baby, and he had her convinced that she was nothing without him, often using his experience in life against her youhful ways. She did finally get out, after a few years, but now she is a single mom trying to make a life for her and her child and this guy is still a thorn in her side and will be for the rest of her life since she shares a child with him. While you might be thinking this would never happen to me, once upon a time my sister thought the same thing. Be careful & good luck.