I am 43 male and single father, Shall i have to live like this, is it better than getting involved?
352342
IF SHE IS NOT WILLING TO ACCEPT YOUR SON THAN SHE IS NOT THE ONE FOR YOU. THAT'S ALSO GOOD THAT YOU ARE TAKING CARE OF YOUR RESPONSIBILITIES KEEP ON TAKING CARE OF YOU AND YOUR SON AND THE RIGHT ONE WILL COME ALONG.
550712
Run for the hills, your kids and you deserve betterr than what your man has to offer...lets say one day you make tons of money, do you want your man to leach off you the rest of your life. Your kids deserve the best in this world...life is precious, i commend you for trying so hard to live the American Dream...Ditch the zero and get with a hero!!!\n\nGood Luck, Jo Jo
899947
I think it is a good idea.  My now husband always helped pay for sitters when we went out.  He knew I was a struggling single parent.  The alternative being you guys stay in for a night - which may or may not be an option depending on if you are ready to have him involved with your kids.
462367
i would like to... but i suppose you have to be a generious person and though i love the idea of it... im obviously too self rightous.\n\nI do however, help my next door neighbour who is an old man. He is about 50 and his family dont visit him. I take him shopping and to the doctors and hospital appointments when need be. I take him round a plate of what ever I cook of a evening... i call him at work to check on him. \n\nI dont see it as work.. just like to think anyone in my position would do the same.
719255
I think you need to explore life and travel before settling down.  Go to college, get a career for yourself, get a job, an apartment.  See what it's like to live on your own.  Be independent before you become dependent on anyone.  Trust me, I was with someone but I cut him short, did all the above and now I am married with child and I can't tell you how happy I am.  I've done the things I wanted to before settling down.
1130938
Perhaps five years ago your experience of living with parents was still fresh in your mind.  And sharing your life with another person looked ok to you.\n\nBut now you are used to the freedom of living alone.  And perhaps having to share your life with a man and loose some of your freedom and independence is what scares you now. \n\nPeople are creatures of habit.  And once you get used to a certain lifestyle, then it becomes hard to change and do something different.
1014481
You may be mature, but you are still at an age where you could get babysat yourself. Wait a few years, like 2, just so you can be more responsible with little kids.
563060
I'm 41 single the past 7months and absolutely terrified of what life holds for me. I get your point about thinking single. Its not a "woman thing" or "man thing". I don't want to spend the rest of my life alone but I'm terrified of another relationship and going through it all again. Though my ex doesn't seem to have that problem. I was replaced after 2.5months. I don't think I know how to think single anymore and being a mum makes it harder because you cannot think of yourself. So yeah I know exactly what your saying.
547185
it depends on the relationship. if your happy and have done all your fun things and want to settle down than i think one is good for now. so you can get the feeling of how fatherhood is like and you must have a good job that's paying kind of allot. because babies don't come cheap! there is so much to learn when your a father. and is she the right one? do you want to spend the rest of you life with her and no other person? do you and her have a good relationship understanding each other?
1028813
definitely family life.\nliving single might give u the freedom to do anything anytime.\nthere are no taunts,nagging etc.\nbut living with a family,moulds u to be a better person.u learn to tolerate,forgive and love.\nmost importantly u have someone to lean on at the end of the day.because ultimately man is a social being.
876637
You are actually in a position to experience what every divorced man at 40 wish he could. My advice, don't take it too slow. But dont be the proverbial bull in a china cabinet either. Stock up on vitamin K. Its good for the protein drain you are about to experience. Cialis is only a dr. appt away! Go for it buddy, and if you can, have a kid. This time you won't be as strapped for cash as before. Enjoy your youth while you can. Eventhough, we now live longer, the one's here, don't care!
576170
Go for it.... But before you do make sure your affairs are in order, make sure your bills are paid. MGive your daughter to someone who thinks straight and will be alive to take care of her.  In rea;lity this man might be a rapist a killer-- but hey throw caution to the wind and see if you can be another another number.
645345
Only if you live far beneath your means.  most humans spend the majority of what they make on NOW.  On rent, food, cars, vacations, clothes, utility bills, etc.  To do what you suggest you must live far far below what you could do at your income.  Then that low level of lifestyle has to continue when you are 'financially free'.  If you save half of what you make and invest it well, then you could probably have 20-30 years of equal lifestyle to what you had when you were working.
275233
I was 20 and my low life ex left me with 2 baby girls.  It was very hard, now they are 13 and 14.  It is ever harder! But i have a great husband that helps me with everything.  Please learn from my mistake and wrap your life around your child.  Don't became wrapped up in looking for Mr.Right.  I was so focused on finding a father for them that I went from relationship to relationship and now they have a lot of bad feelings because I put them through it too.  Also, go to college.  There are MANY places that will help a single mother. They will even pay for your childcare while you go to school Take advantage them.  You just can't raise a child anymore on $5.00 or 6.00/hr.  That way you wont have to depend on anyone else. When have a degree and a good job then the right person will come along and you will be so secure that you wont have to depend on him.  I commend you on leaving your abuse relationship.  Remember God loves you and you deserve to be treated with respect and love.  If a man hits you one time, it is one time too many. You did the right thing!! Your going to be ok.  You will be a strong, independent mother and you baby will love you for that.  Just remember it's all up to you now, that baby's future is in your hands : ) Take care and good luck!
597539
If you have the same interests and physical fitness levels it might work.  Just know that statistically you're going to be left alone because his life span will be considerably shorter than yours.
660708
The tough choice in life, i was in a similar situation a long time ago, the first question is, do you have a good support system or the father of your children that can help take care of your children temporarily till you get your life together, it seems from this letter that you have to prioritize with  what you have to do before you end up homeless. My only suggestion is survival and a strong will get you through, and only you can help yourself even if there are tough decision you have to make in order to survive.  always, empathy in CT
1064126
I understand your problem and I think that no matter how much you talk to him thing are not going to change unless he wants too do it all on his own.  And since moving out isn't an option at the moment I suggest you find something to do with your time other than staying at home.  Like finding a job or going to school (assuming your not doing it already)  Going to the library or donating your time to charities.  Something you enjoy.  I know you love your family but YOU are 20 and you need to start making a life of your own Maybe when he sees what your doing he'll start appreciating you better.  As for your real dad start writing to him get that job and save up to go visit.  Where there is a will there is a way.  Good luck at what ever you do.