Does he? Help my husband says that he'll support me in whatever i want to do, but it seems like he doesn't
337262
from the sounds of it he's just saying things to make you feel better, but then goes back against them.  maybe it just makes him insecure to realize that you can go out and do everything, and then what do you need him for? \nbut more likely it's putting up a false front, then cutting it out from under you to make you more dependant upon him.  he likes his cozy little life of having you do everything for him.  if he has the time to pester you about things he wants done, then he has time to do them himself.\nhe might not realize what he's doing, but the first step in this is to ask him about it.  if you are scared of the outcome of having a serious discussion with him about the relationship, then there are definatly some major problems with it...
279374
Well ive never been threw it but ill be more then happy to give you my 2 cents with out calling you a slut, i think part of it is your husbands fault for not making sure you have what you need, now i know alot of people are going to scream for me saying that but its the truth, in a marriage part of our job is doing everything possible to make sure our partner is getting everything we need from them emotionally or sexually. Thats just the way it works for a healthy marriage, The only bit of advice i could give you not being actually in that situation is to eather pick on or the other, i can see you feeling even more torn when your feelings for this other guy are fostered even more and you cant act on it, not to mention the emotional and sexual frustrations that can easily bring. I can understand why you turned to this other man for support you wernt getting at home. But i can only see you hurting yourself in the long run if you dont cut ties with one of them. That is unless you totally dont love your husband anymore and your just in it for everything youve envested on a tangable level that you dont want to lose. But honestly do you think if you bumped this relationship up with this other guy you would be able to continue this double life, i hate to label it that way but thats the only thing i can think of to call it right off the top of my head, but i think you understand where im coming from. You need to set a game plan in your head on where you want to go in life if things with this other guy keep developing, what happens if this guy says ok ill chuck my marriage will you chuck yours? what if he talks about you guys meeting and making a full flaired affair? What if your husband finds out about whats going on how will you respond? How will your husband? Im not saying i know what you should do or what you need to do, but if i were you i would get a clear picture of what i wanted from your husband or from this other guy. Do you think there would be a possiblity you would be more happy in your marriage if your husband started to work with you on your problems with the marriage? Do you think there is any hope for you marriage now? Do you think your husband is doing the same thing you are on some sort of level? IF he was how do you feel about it? I think you need to ask yourself these kinds of questions and in deep deep detail figure out what you want to do, i dont think anyone in here can really answer those kinds of questions and give you any much more of a clear picture then you seriously thinking about this i wish you all of luck and i really hope you get something figured out on this *HUGS*
1122416
I guess you have already tried talking to him. What does he think is "ridiculous", you wanting him to help? I can only tell you what I would do. I would sit him down and tell him " As long as we BOTH have to work two jobs, I am not going to be the only one taking care of everything around the house. If you want a housewife, then you need to support one. Otherwise, we share the chores just like we share the bills". If he cannot see the logic in that, I would be considering leaving. There is no way I would allow myself to be treated that way.
358462
do u mean menial..... does he love you?\ndo you feel you are in big trouble or something?\nAsk him for help?\nAsk someone close to you?\nAre you pregnant?:(\nGod bless you \nI wish i could offer more help \nIf he refuses to help you, if he is married, Go tell his wife\nStand for it \nohhhhhhhhhhhh
670505
Absolutely the man must uphold his part!What your so called Christian friends are saying is only partially correct.You should submit to a husband who is respecting you and your marriage.I do not agree that you need to submit to someone who is either abusive,cruel or telling you to do the wrong things,or whom does not equally love and respect you!
1049554
Yeah! These people are aTTACKers, aren't they...but helpful, too. Don't delete your question because I'ma watchin' it, girlfriend!\nWell, I say if he has the NERVE to check you on YOUR DAILY WORK, then you can get that same nerve.  \n\nThat is the trade-off, right.  And he wouldn't want to switch with you.  Tell him on a Saturday morning or a day off to track what the heck he does all day! Projects take longer than men think.  I like to get everything done in the 1st two hours of of the morning hustlin. Then, no matter what I do it's just done and the happy husbands off\nmy friggin' back.  \n\nTell him if you spent as much time cleaning up after HIM as you \ndid on the other household, necessary daily chores, he'd HAVE\nthe neat, sparkly perfect home he desired.  He'll get mad, that's just that tender little species of fragility and gentleness called\nTHE MALE EGO.\n\nTo those people who are working do NOT assume SAHM is\na dream job.  Its not for lazy bums.  Not the hardest work, \nbut important and challenging, more than you'd think.
542123
it sounds like it..just talk to him about whats going on...ur married and i hope everything works out..congrats on the new baby
246245
Tell him how you feel, but that you support him in what ever he decides. It's important that he knows he has your support. If it doesn't work out you will be there for him and help him pick up the pieces and move on.
478968
Does your man work?  Are you receiving child support?  What are you doing for work now?  Do you have any talents that your friends keep complimenting?\n\nIf your married and your man works... he gets a 2nd, 3rd or even 4th job and you eat rice and beans (but you eat), buy your clothes at the thrift store (but you still dress decently) and downsize the car (but you still get around).  Maybe you take in babysitting.  \n\nIf you are a professional/semi-pro, maybe you take your work home to do on the computer.  If not, maybe you have a special talent that people are always telling you that you should persue.  \n\nThere are At-Home-Mom magazines that talk about this thing as well as entreprenurial magazines that could give you some great ideas.\n\nGood luck mom!!!
501340
I actually said the same thing about my husband.  Around me he is totally different then when he is with his friends.  I finally just asked my husband what the deal was.  He looked at my puzzled, and replied that of course he acts differently around me.  I couldn't understand it.  He told me that the way he acts with me is how he wants me to see him.  The way he loves me.  The way he acts with his friends is just being one of the guys.   I told him that he cusses, drinks when he's with his friends but not around me.  He said he respected me to much to act that way with me.  Its a guy thing.  I've learned to live with it.
757480
He wants to keep his options open... not be tied down. You need to stand up for yourself and tell him its all or nothing. Dont let him run the relationship.... it is supposed to be 50/50. Tell him that you need to be commited to him. If he really cares about you he will comply!
97792
I just noticed your other post and you left out a fact in this post that all he wants to do all day is "play video games and sit and watch T.V." It is interesting to me that you left this fact out of this post and only focused on the employment issue. I think you realize what a ridiculous situtation you have worked your way into and are now floundering about trying to get your legs back under you. He undoubtably loves you totally because he now has no job, has video games, no responsibility, a woman that will work to support him, a roof over his head, food to eat, and someone to have sex with on a daily basis. What boy wouldn't love that. I refer to him as a boy although I don't know his age but based on what seems to be important to him.\n\nTHINK about it! Do you come home to a dirty or clean home? What is he teaching your daughters by example? More importantly, what impression of men is he sending to your daughters? Are you planning on marrying him? Are you able to accept the responsibility as breadwinner in the family? What will he do if you get pregnant again and cannot work, can you rely on him? Sometimes the feelings in our heart outweigh what we already know in our minds. Think it through carefully. \n\nDecide what you want to do based on your responsibility as a mother to your daughters and the unspoken promises you made to them when you brought them into this world. Their experiences in life will shape their future choices. Don't you want better for them?\n\nMy true thought, dump him. Live on your own with your daughters. There are several government programs to help the three of you. This will undoubtably be a huge change in their lives and they will need counseling which the government can provide. There are rent subsidies, food stamps, help with utilities, and so much more. You can even go to college for free. Get a better life for you and your daughters. Forget your heart for a while and think with your brain, you'll hopefully make much better choices in the future.
256856
Try and live as an example and be supportive to him for him to follow his dreams.  Some things don't have to be said, a lot of patience and being there through thick and thin, always staying strong and upright can say more than words.
429907
You need to go with your husband no matter what.  when you married him, you made that commitment.  I know its gonna be hard, but you can always come back and visit.
1082017
I wish I knew.  I've never had this problem.  It doesn't take much to encourage me at all!  I actually have the exact OPPOSITE problem that your husband does.
824355
support and him and tell him taht you want to be with him and don't want to give up...tell him you'll be here every step of the way..encourage him to seek a therapist who can help him...maybe give him a few days but tell him you're not going to leave for good...
318691
mmmmmmm A man who will not get a job and work to support his family or himself is saying alot about himself and his character!  And on top of it he feels he is too damn good to help around the house which is an even bigger crock of crap!  My hubby and I have been together 22 years and has worked 12 hours a day 6 days a week for the last 10 years in a row!  On weekends he helps with laundry- does dishes every Sunday just so I can have a day off.  If I ask for his help- he jumps right in with no hesitation!  This so called man of yours- well not a man!  Your feelings are correct!  Give him the boot big time!  You deserve sooo much better than that!  You deserve a man who is going to love you and respect your feelings and needs as a woman!  Life is too short to waste on this loser!  There r alot of men out there looking for great women!  and u deserve to have one of them!  Good luck to you!