Whats the best joke you've ever heard?
341090
This man dies and goes to heaven. There in Heaven is two lines. One is extremely long and a sign says "Men who's women were in charge in the relationship" in the other line a sign says "Men who were in charge of the relationship" and there's only the one man there. Saint Peter sees this and is perplexed and says to the man "Why are you standing in this line?" And the man says "I don't know, my wife told me to stand here."
452212
What has the world come to? People don't seem to make good clean jokes any more (keyword: good)! Sheesh...\n\nHere's one:\n\nA pregnant woman gets into a car accident and falls into a deep coma. Asleep for nearly 6 months, she wakes up and sees that she is no longer pregnant. Frantically, she asks the doctor about her baby. \n\nThe doctor replies, "Ma'am, you had twins! A boy and a girl. The babies are fine. Your brother came in and named them." \n\nThe woman thinks to herself, "Oh no, not my brother -- he's an idiot!" \n\nExpecting the worst, she asks the doctor, "Well, what's the girl's name?" \n\n"Denise," the doctor says. \n\nThe new mother thinks, "Wow, that's not a bad name! Guess I was wrong about my brother. I like Denise!" \n\nThen she asks the doctor, "What's the boy's name?" \n\nThe doctor replies, "DeNephew" \n\n:o)
1135780
OK - have seen a lot of jokes on here.  THIS ONE MADE ME LAUGH.  Thanks........
523182
Haha that is by far the funniest question I have ever heard. It made me laugh out loud.
479920
worlds funniest joke:\n\nA couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can I do?” The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: “Just take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead.” There is a silence, then a shot is heard. The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says: “OK, now what?"\n\ntwas hilarious when i first heard it.\n\ncheck the link below for full details, theres heaps ;) took part in the survey myself (back in da days)\ncheers
339371
its not too dirty but this one cracked me up\n\n\n\nThe Three Wishes\n\nso a guy walks into a bar and orders a drink. the bartender notices how strong and muscular he is but notices his rather small head. so he asks the guy what's up with that. so the guy begins to tell his story,\n\nwell last week when i was taking a walk into the woods i heard someone crying for help near a stream. to my amazement it was a frog. she told me to give her a kiss and i would be granted three wishes. seeing i had nothing to lose i kissed her.all of a sudden she turned into a beautiful naked woman. she goes you now have three wishes.\n\ni looked down at my scrawny 115 pound body and said. i want a body like arnold swarzenneger. then i suddenly had a body like his but because it was much bigger than my clothes they ripped off and i was standing there naked. she said two more wishes\n\nwell i looked at her beautiful body and said i want to make passionate love to you. so we did that for a couple of hours. then she replied one more wish\n\nand i sead....how about a little head?\n\n\n\nlol
910889
OMG this joke is one of my favorites!!! Got any more?
1170286
I love that joke.\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\nWhen I heard it 25 years ago.  You must be a fantastic archaeologist to dig that one up.
410534
HAHAHA   great joke!!
811979
lol good one thats the best one ive heard today so far ive read your other jokes there lmfao keep them up
278914
That is literally the funniest joke I've ever heard.  Ever.  In fact, I don't even think it was so much the joke, as how well you told it.  You, my friend, are a comedic genius.
923847
LMFAO great jokes!!! Love your sense of humor it is wonderful!!
876037
my favorite joke is \nThree boy walked into a Candy shop.\nThe first boy said can I have ten cents worth of licorice\nSo the clerk took out a ladder and reached to the highest shelf and brought out 5 pieces of licorice and the clerk put the ladder away\nThe second boy said can I have ten cents worth of licorice the clerk sighed and brought back out the ladder and reached to the highest shelf and gave him 5 pieces of licorice and put the ladder back up with another 5 pieces of licorice for the third boy\nThen it was time for the third boy to get candy so the clerk said let me guess ten cents worth of licorice too but the boy said no 20 cents worth of licorice \n My favorite song is \nLondon Bridge by Fergie
1076654
HA HA HA \nnice n clean joke
809204
I actually got that one! LOLLOLLOLLOLLOL!!!!! Can you e-mail some other jokes to me like that one? my address is dogloverkm@yahoo.com   thanks!
1051133
That is SOOO funny --- and I've NEVER HEARD it, before.....\n\n(Kudo's to you --- that's one I'll be telling........)  LMAO!!!!!!
912642
my best mate walked out of the registry office to the sound of an instrumental version of "there may be trouble a-head".\n\nWorked great because various people got the joke at differnet times.