How do you deal with being raped?
355518
Go to  a hospital right away.  They have 'rape kits' there to help collect evidence to arrest your attacker.  They can also call the police for you.  \n\nAlway always remember it was not your fault and it was a horrible act commited against you that in no way lowers your worth.  After seeing the doctor and giving yourself time to recover physically perhaps see a therapist to help talk out your feelings.  Sometimes its easier to talk to someone you don't know.  Also remember you are not alone.  There are many of us out there who have been raped and are trying to stand tall.  Support groups can help you get throught this too.  After awhile, try telling yourself that while what happened to you was horrible, it was a small portion of your life and that to let it follow you around forever is giving your attacker control over your life long after that small moment is past.  Thats why therapy and support groups can be important.  The rape will make you different as we are all summations of what happens to us in life, but don't let it control you forever.  \n\n*HUGS*
839315
Being raped is very degrading to a women it takes away her pride self respect makes her feel worthless, and ashamed. The women who don't report rape is out of fear from the assailant or being ashamed. Ashamed might not be the correct word to use. you get the point though. I don't know what I would do. I would hope that I would have the courage to report it so it wouldn't happen to someone else.  I had a friend once she was in her mid 40s she waited until she got married to have sex. She was 18 on her wedding night her husband tied her to the bed and sodomized her. she came from a family that taught you that your husband is the law and what he does to you is his business and you didnt question him. She is no longer married to him thank goodness. For anyone out there who has been raped my heart goes out to you.
545222
Dear SadnService,\nit is rape, no less. You are definitely not bi as you don't like it.\n\nI was very much saddened when I read your Qs and As. Still am. It is hard for me to imagine what you have gone through from young till now. I only hope that you will find the courage to choose a better partner to be submissive to, one who will not subject you to rape or extreme pain. I fear that one day, you will not survive your ordeal. I do not know much about the lifestyle you are in right now. But I do know that there are limits in everything. I pray that you will find a better partner who you can choose to be submissive to the extent you are comfortable with if that is really the lifestyle you want - not to be raped or beaten so badly. You see, you do have a choice to choose as such. Please listen to what OGreatWiseOne said in one of your questions. I cannot agree more with her when she said that even people who have chosen this lifestyle, can be abused, and deserve an escape route to live in safety. Please do find a counsellor specialising in this kind of special problem.\n\nMasturbation is normal & common. You were much dominated by women from young from what you have said and were humiliated by the women in your life. I cannot imagine what else you had to endure when you were growing up. I think that probably accounted for your low self esteem. As a result you said that you hate your gender and yourself. If you say that, all men and women on this earth would have to say the same too. That is how common masturbation is. It is a normal human reaction. Please know that God doesn't hate you and that you are not ugly and worthless. You are not born that way. Your negative experiences when growing up had a huge impact on your personality. You and in fact all of us are a product of our environment. How we turn out is directly related to our environment. Please do not think that you do not have a choice at all. You do have a choice, that is something God gave all human beings. You can choose to take a first step to stop this rape and torture. You see, you are seeking answers here and that is a choice you made. And you are asking how to stop this rape and torture. It tells me that the extreme environment you are in is not one which suits you at all, submissive or not. You are incompatible with that extreme environment.\n\nI do not have knowledge of this kind of lifestyle nor am I any professional to be saying things. However, from what you have written, I would urge you to seek help first to get out of that extreme environment and counselling to find out who you really are deep down. Are you a real submissive or were you subjected to factors which ultimately led you to this lifestyle? Under entirely different circumstances, it may be likely that you would not be a submissive. My instinct is that you're really not a submissive, and that you think you are one and you have no choice. You do not embrace the torture and as such I honestly believe that you are not one. Or it can also be that you are a mild submissive by nature and extremes will never suit you. If that is the case, do find someone who is also mild & not extreme in that kind of lifestyle. It is never too late to turn yourself around if you do find that you are not one or turn out to be a mild one. Do not hate yourself in spite of the extreme humiliation & torture you were put through. Courage is something admirable, but it is not something everyone has, especially those who were put down constantly when growing up. Even those who grow up in a normal environment never possess courage all the time. We are afraid at one time or another. I suspect that you were put through many other ordeals. You are a product of your environment and you're not born that way. But if you change the environment, you can change too. It is easy for people to criticize and hate, but if I were in your position and underwent what you did from young till now, I would be too afraid to be coura
547590
Honey, please don't listen to what the first person wrote. You are not required to dress "conservetly" in order to have an expectation of being free from rape. It is not how a girl/woman dresses which determines if she may become a rape victem, OK? Nothing you do or don't do would make it your fault some sick perverted A-hole rapes. Rape has nothing to do with sex, but everything to do with power and controll.\n\nNow, if you have real concerns about somebody hurting you at school, home or in your neighborhood, I suggest you go and talk to a school official right away. The school counselor would be a good person, or a teacher who you feel safe with or another person you have trust for. If you are safe at home, then I suggest strongly you discuss your fears with your parents. If you have good, decent, hardworking and loving parents, they would want you to take these fears to them. If you were my daughter and had these worries I would want you to come and talk to me.\n\nIf somebody has already touched you in a way you know you should not be touched, it is not your fault. Often those who do things wrong want those they did it to thinking they are responsible for what happened. This is to get you to stay quiet and not tell anyone what happened. Sometimes they will even threaten more harm to you or to harm your family. This is 99% of the time just a threat to get you to stay quiet. If you stay quiet though, they will think they can do this to you again, and maybe do more the next time.\n\nIt sounds like somebody has already done something innapropreate. It sounds like you need some help in getting away from this person. I really srtongly advise you to go to your parents or somebody in charge at school right away. I mean as soon as you read this. \n\nIt is NOT your fault, even if you kept quiet for a time or if you did not scream, or even if you were curious what it might be like. You are a young kid and anybody who would do such a thing took advantage of your young age. That is NOT your fault. It is normal to be curious, all kids are, but that is why it is so wrong for older people to touch kids in innapropriate manners. It is taking advantage of a normal curiousity kids have, normal developmental curiousness. While it is OK to be curious it is NOT OK for anybody to do anything innapropriate with a girl your age. OK? So don't feel any shame if something already happened. Just go and tell somebody so this person can't do anything more to you or to anybody else your age. You need to be reasrred that ALL the fault lies with anybody who would do anything remotely sexual with a girl your age. You are way too young for this sort of behaviors. You are an innocent kid and do not deserve to fear anything or anybody. \n\nI seriously believe something has already happened or you would not be so afraid of rape at your age. Kids your age just don't go around fearing rape for no reason at all. Unless somebody older in your family has put this fear in your head. If so, I want you to understand that there are not really that many bad people in the world. \n\nI will not tell you there are no bad people in the world. You know very well there are. However, there are just way more good, decent, kind, caring, hardworking people than bad people who hurt kids. Even amoung bad people, people who hurt kids are thought of as the worst sort of bad person. Even amoung bad people, people who go to jail for doing bad things, dislike those who would hurt kids. Those who hurt kids have to be kept away from the other people who did bad things, or those others will try to hurt the bad person who hurt kids. So, while there are people who break our laws, people who do some bad things, the number of them who hurt kids is much smaller than you think.\n\nNow, this does not mean there are not people who hurt children out there. There is. But if you take some safety percautions you should be fine. OK? If you don't go out after dark by your
594314
wow, must be pretty rough. i mean, no one expects you to get over it. look, i had a friend and the same thing happened to her and im gonna give you the same advice i gave her. some might say that you should take up counseling or go to a group meeting, but the sad part is that those meetings dont focus on just you and yourproblem. you have to find someone who you trust and love, usually a mom, sister, or aunt, and tell that person about what happened to you, and who did it. the guy who did this to you obviously isnt very considerate. just open up to a loved one and let them know whats going on. im sure it will help and they will be able to focus on your problem and not everyone elses.
1162692
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx\n\n         I'm so sorry.\n\n     You are saying this happened to you?\n\n      Don't sell men short.\n\n        We have mothers, sisters, wives, daughters, and female friends that we care about.\n\n        I  would be saddened by the news of anyone being raped.
1049550
hey i'm new here and i read this and i know that you said it was for totellthetruth, but i just wanted to say that starting a talk session would be absolutely wonderful! my sister was raped when she was 14. and then again at 15. i know she really needed someone to talk to when it happened. i congratulate you. and thank you for doing this. its really nice. i hope you will have good luck with it and that you will be able to help those that need it most!
90800
Rape is much too serious to tolerate but it is also much too serious to trivialise by making false claims.\n\nI would encourage your friends to go the police. If they are telling the truth they will be happy to bring the boy to justice. Two accusers are better than one, and with their families' support they could begin to put the past behind them.\n\nIf they don't want to go the police (despite having the support of their parents) you should suggest to them that you will initiate the process. I would be suspicious of their claims if they refuse to bring any charges whatsoever.
440132
how you cope i will never now
634714
Yes.  I wasn't raped, but I was abused sexually.  Luckily, my husband has helped me move on and my sex life is just fine!  Talking about the past and getting through it is what helped me.
454055
I would shop around for a counselor and psychiatrist. You may need to be on medication, even a low dosage. I'm on a small dosage of Zoloft right now for depression and it's been a great help in controlling my moods. Look into the counselling too because it sounds like that would be extremely prevalent to your PTSD. You don't have to suffer alone.\n\n*Edit* I'm glad you're on some meds then. I know the sexual abuse memory is EXTREMELY painful, but you have to realize that the only way you're going to "get it out" like you keep saying, is to continue counseling sessions. You need a professional because stuff could get really hairy if you sit down with a family member or friend and open up. I never suffered anything as severe as sexual abuse (thank god) but I have struggled with lesser, stressful situations and whenever I tried to talk them out with people I was immediately close to it always ended in failure. Look for a LCS (licensed clinical social worker). Trust me, he or she will get your through it. Remember that it's a work in progress and requires patience.
389394
I'm really sorry to hear what happened to you but....\n\nCall the cops, let them give you a rape kit, and  (especially if they are conviced you were raped) PRESS CHARGES.\n\nWho cares if this was a friend, or a friend of a friend! PEOPLE LIKE THIS ARE NOT FRIENDS AND NEED TO BE STOPPED!!!
705115
That's a horrible thing to deal with.  The fact that you survived speaks volumes.
290034
I would say,a lot of counseling and possibly some medication to get you threw all this.You will get through it,But you wont ever forget it. Prayer helps too! and I am so very sorry for what you have been through,I have had some of the same experience's as you have.Hang in there.You will survive.We are women hear us roar!!
454645
Call the police. If he has raped you press charges. Just because you are married to some one does not give them the right to force sex on you. And your children will understand when they get older. The guy sounds crazy, you need to protect your family. You really need to talk to the police and see how they can help you. And turn to the Bible for answers as well. You do have scriptuall grounds for divorce and re-marriage. You really need to change your situation. Hope everything gets better for you and you children! I'll pray for you!
808526
Apparently, you think she's been raped. So I would say, instead of broaching that word, ask her who's hurt her in her past. Let her know that you're aware that she's afraid to get close, that you understand, but need to know if there's something you can do to get past her walls. Let her know that you want to love her, that you care for her, that you won't judge her but that you feel whatever it is, it's coming between you both now and stopping your progress.\n\nMaybe that will help. The other thing is, there may be things you say or do that trigger the incident for her, if there is one. Be cognizant of that, but don't ask. At times when she's close, she could be fighting with the memories and trying to overcome them. She's still processing. Give her time and when needed, space.
576178
I saved myself from Rape by waiting for the right moment, and KICKING where it mattered- no one needed to have me practice for that:)\n\nThere are classes for Self Defense available, the police dept may be able to advise you on these.\n\n\nhere is a website:)\n\nhttp://www.nononsenseselfdefense.com/