Okay, here’s the dilemma.  How does a person cheat, then can’t accept forgiveness?
344939
Although you may not want to admit it to yourself, your partner may just want out of the relationship. They were not thinking of you when they cheated, and now they don't want to be forgiven. Maybe they hoped that you would find out and then break it off so they didn't have to do it. Besides, you should find someone who won't cheat on you. You deserve to be able to trust your lover.
572530
Yes, it is possible to survive. I had to learn a new lesson in the true meaning of forgiveness and he had to learn the true meaning of faithfulness. The problem is both of you have to be willing to make the steps to overcome it. The hardest thing is rebuilding trust.
446669
Ummmmmm wait a sec - do I have this straight?\n\nHe cheated on you - you forgave him and gave him a 2nd chance?  \n\nYou later cheated and he won't give YOU a 2nd chance?\n\nWell that about says it all if I have that straight.. he doesn't want to give you that 2nd chance because this is HIS way of getting out and 'blaming you for it'.  I bet he has another 'side'.... I'm so sorry, and realize that you have already punished yourself enough, and that you TRIED to be honorable and tell him the truth, and if you could forgive him and he won't you, he's being a JERK!  I'm sorry /comf!
408572
you can't cheat going to hell it is a real place ! and if you have not excepted the lord in your heart and believed died on the cross to wash you from your sins i am so sorry but that is where you are heading. you may not beleive in jesus christ, but if he wasn't real , why is he so disliked? and he doesn't send you to hell you send yourself there by not excepting him. i would be real careful about playing around with comments that you made about cheating hell. that is impossible to do. have a good day!!
225793
It's hard to forgive because we like to dwell on things that happen in the past. If you would just take the time to see that God gives us hard times in order to learn from them, then I bet it would be much easier to forgive that person. Just remember that the past is in that past and theres nothing that you can do to change that. The future is what matters. You can mold your future by looking at your past. As far as punishing someone for their actions, I would leave that up to God to do. The best thing that you can do is to be nothing but nice and sypathectic towards them. When you do that , the other person tends to feel guilty about what they did, and even if they don't tell you that they are sorry, they will infact, constantly think about what they did to you, and hopefully they will at least, ask God to forgive them for what they did. One last thing; I would pray for that person. I would pray that this person realizes what he/she did, how he/she can make it right, and also if God will forgive that person and have mercy on him. If you do all of this, then God will be happy with you and dissapointed with the other person. If you don't forgive him/her or even punish this person, then God will saddened with you just as much as he will be with this other person. One last thing; try to remember the verse from the Lords Prayer, when someone does something that hurts you : Please forgive us are tresspasses as we forgive those who tresspass against us. I hope that this has helped you and I'll keep you in my prayers.
465166
Easy.  Just ask Jesus for forgiveness and then don't sin again.  He WILL forgive you.
234936
It takes time, patience and a real willingness to want to forgive and forget.  If you can't forgive and forget, then you will never learn to trust again.  Think of it this way.  No one is perfect, even you and I have made and will continue to make mistakes (sometimes big ones).  Just give yourself PLENTY of time and take baby steps.  It may take a few years even, but if the relationship(s) are better afterwards, it will be worth your while.
497425
there should be no limit on forgivness. we are all human and screw up. does Jesus put a limit on how many times He will forgive you for your sins? no He doesn't so why should we. if the problem is big enough to where you can't trust him anymore then you probably would just be better off finding someone you can trust. there can never be unconditional love if there isn't trust. so basicly it depends on you how many times you want to forgive.
533316
ABSOLUTELY!!! Forgiveness is so important. If you cannot forgive some for their sake, then do it for yours, please, 'cause if if you don't, then all the anger and hurt will turn to bitterness and it will turn you into a bitter person. NOT a pretty sight. I have seen many people ruined this way.
510623
Trust is one of the most important things. If some cheated on me then I'd want to know.  Whether to continue with the relationship would depend on how you found out you were being cheated on. If he or she came to you, then you know this person has a conscience and you may be able to continue with the relationship eventually letting go of the hurt from their indiscretion. But if they never said anything and you found out another way I think it would be best to let go of that relationship because there will be serious trust issues. I personally don't do the whole getting back at my significant other thing. If you have forgiven him/her then it wouldn't be fair to keep bringing it up or punishing them for what they've done. So if it's something you can't get past. Let go.
1056491
i think you'll have to wait awhile...come to terms with what happened...you don't have 2 forgive someone right after they hurt you or a loved one deeply. i figure that as long as you're not out to kill them you're ok. remember God doesn't expect you to LOVE this person...he's probably angry at what they did too- and give it some time.
271407
It would depend on if I loved them. Do I still want a future with this person? Was the affair due to neglect on my part of the relationship? Was it an affair of the heart or just "sex"? \nRegardless, I would forgive them. Not for thier benefit, but for my own. Forgiving does not mean "forgetting"...it just means I will choose to not hold the offense against the person in the future. Whether pain resurfaces due to memory of the offense, my pride or my anger.  By my choice to forgive and exercising it, I will not only preserve my integrity and character, but possibily save a relationship that was challenged at a weak moment.\n\nWhatever choice you make in regards as to how to respond when you are on the receiving end, remember that ALL of us need a second chance at some point in our lives.
526960
Yes, I think there is always hope and a possibility, but that depends entirely on both people.  First, as hard as it may be, the first round is accepting what happened as real.  The second round is understanding what and why it happened.  More often than not the real reason one person cheated on another is due lack of attention, meaning the needs of one person were not being met by the other.  As busy as life gets in the world we live in today, there is often not enough time to pay attention to and meet the needs of a partner.  That is why it is said that the quality of time is more important than the quantity of time.  The third round is the hardest, but this is the process of forgiving.  The only way to start over or to repair any damage due to unfaithfulness or infidelity is to forgive.  There are couples that are willing to and able to forgive each other, but then that depends entirely on the two people involved.  Is that what they want?  What do they want? Etc...etc...etc...
307506
Well, I don't think it has anything to do with you forgiving yourself but that is a part of the process. But the first step is to accept forgiveness from God and then let Him work on your heart. \n\nI need to practice what I preach! Viva Me!
786134
a person who did what he did.... how can he ever become a real christian? this would take a miracle first, and then, perhaps, everything else would be possible, including realizing the evil he did... and luckily, God forgives more than humans...
412387
Once someone cheats on you there is no going back.  I tried the whole forgiveness thing with my fist wife and ultimately it is something you just can't get out of your mind and since he already cheated on you before it is much easier to do it again.  I think he blew his chance with you and you will be better off with someone else.
373723
Love is a two way street...love, hate.  The thing is...forgiving/forgetting. If you love him enough to forgive and forget.  I have learned one thing in life, you have to be COMFORTABLE with the person you are with! Once the comfort is lost, the love is lost. The old adage once a cheat, always a cheat, I don't believe, I believe people can change, but you have to be able to talk to each other and have that comfort to delve into each others feelings. There are lots of fish in the sea, and just because you are connected with one, doesn't mean you can't be connected to someone who wouldn't cheat on you, even though it sucks to start over again...talk, listen both ways. He needs to be just as open as you and you BOTH need to deal with why it happened.