I need help re-connecting with my son. He is just 12 years old and tells me I baby him too much.?
351763
My son is 10, I'm going thru the same thing. I'm giving him the space he requested. Maybe you could spend time with him at the baseball games. Is he interested in art or science? Connect with him that way. Take him to a bookstore cafe. My son didn't want to go initially, but he always finds something he's interested in. We connect by browsing together then having lunch or a drink in the cafe. He doesn't even realize we're bonding!
272237
I hope this is not the same "friend" of 8 months that is yelling at your son!!! Stop that shyt!! Don't allow any man or woman to abuse you son. You are his first everything\n---his 1st teacher\n---his 1st ADVOCATE\n---his 1st experience with life\nStop putting these men in front of your happiness and your son's well-being. If that muthaf*$@#ka was yelli\nng at my 19 month old I'd catch a case. You better stand up for your son. I understand you want adult male companionship and you deserve "me" time. Taking care of a child is not easy, but he must be number one in your life. And stop having him around the dude you are f@#$kin'.  You wouldn't want your son to grow up to abuse women or worse get abused by women b/c he saw you being abused and your self-esteem get whittled away to nothing. I can only offer this advice b/c I've been there. My son is 13 and has only seen me with 3 men. Granted there have been more in my life, but I refuse to bring all of them around my man-child. Children WATCH more than they LISTEN> Even though your son is only 19 months he can still feel you, just like he did when he was in your stomach. The bond between you and your son is stronger than any bond you can make with a man. That baby is the closet thing to heaven you can get on earth. Cherish him and these years. He's exploring and should not be made to feel that his learning process is less important than some man.
241837
Before you do anything like that, I would sit down with the little guy and try to find out what he really means.  Kids that age may mean something completely different than what we take from their statements.  They just don't have a wide range of emotional vocabulary.  Anyway, see if what he really means is something more manageable for you.  Like, maybe assurance of your love for him even though a new little one is coming to steal you away from him.\n\nAnd if he really wants to communicate with his father, maybe a phone call will be enough.  Or maybe let him make a card to send to his father.  That might be enough to satisfy him so he can move on.\n\nYou can also redirect his attention to something more tangible.  Like making another book, but this time with people he's close to and sees frequently.\n\nI think in the end, you'll just have to try things that are possible for you to do until you run out of options.  I wouldn't tell him anything that would hurt his feelings, though.  I think I would make up something sooner than I would do that (and I hate to lie).
646802
You seem to be in a tough spot - not only do you have to worry about your son, but about your other children as well, because they are certainly watching how you respond to this problem.  Try taking a look at this website - http://www.4troubledteens.com/toughlove.html as this organization has helped many, many parents deal with issues such as yours.  Please make sure that your first priority is the safety of the rest of your family - and good luck to you all.
403164
yeah you should talk to him. just start by saying"so you coming to my sons birthday paty?" and just go from there. it wont be so bad!!!Good luck!!!!:)
385150
Start being more independent!  Quit relying on him, get over it and show him that you don't need him in your life.  Show him you are capable and willing to raise your child on your own.  Basically cut him out of your life.  Remember any man can be a father... takes a Real MAN to be a DAD!
117244
it's pretty hard to know what the problem is, based on the vagueness of your question. my first reaction is that you've lost touch with your son, which means you've gotten out of the habit of talking to him in a conversational way. and exactly what are you looking for in saying "normal"? does that mean he's not what you want him to be? because most kids won't be at various times. \n\npre-teens are, as a part of normal growing up, becoming more independent and trying on different personas in order to find out where they fit in the world. it is perfectly normal for that to be pretty baffling for adult observers. the main thing is to stay (become?) accessible and loving (no matter what). if your child is a stranger to you, you've got some serious work to do. (and it ought to be a Big Priority.)
422579
Only deal with him where you son is concerned. Only meet him half way. Don't put more into it than he does. It's not your place to make sure he sees his son. Help him, but don't do it for him. When your son asks to talk to daddy give him a call. If he doesn't answer let your son know you tried and then drop it till he asks again. When it comes time to visit, don't do it for him. Let him do it or work out a compromise that's fair to both. Your son will see him for what he is. If he is in fact a good father your son will know that. If he slacks your son will see that too. As long as you do your part, that's all that is required.
84017
Discipline. Or you will be in for some really tough times once he is older.  Grounding, take away things he likes.  Follow through, and don't give in.  You need tough love Mom.
577816
I will tell you something personal. I have a 3 yr. old son. I am divorced, I miss my son very, very much. I cry each nite that I cannot be with him. His mother is court ordered to let me have him each weekend for 3 days. Everytime I go to get him, she is gone. I have given up hope. I know he is still young but I know he knows his dad and loves me very much. He will find me someday.
207026
Honestly explain to him first that you feel like you're not trusted with the child and let him know how that makes you feel. If you two are in agreement then you can approach the mother in a non-threatening way and let her know that you'd like to be more involved. you are a step-parent here and should be.
656725
Since you have a child together, the two of you will always be connected. You just have to learn to deal with it. Its hard, I know through personal experience. Good luck.
348114
I am really sorry that you feel the way you do. I love both my children very much. It honestly does seem like you need a professional to help you connect with your reasons why you don't have the motherly feelings for your youngest son. I am pleased to hear that you tried to get help but my heart aches for you that you couldn't find a caring individual to help you deal with your feelings. No matter what you do your family isn't going to understand your pain and your sorrow. Saying that you feel you can't get close to him and the fact that you don't want to try shows that you do have some feelings for him, not as a mother but as a human being...you don't want to hurt his feelings. I have always found that the best thing to do when family gives you advice is to take it and do what you want with it. If you are interested in attempting to connect with the feelings that you probably have that are dormant within you now that you and he are older you may want to try again finding a counsler to help you with what you have locked up deep inside. Even if you find that you cannot love him as a mother loves her children, at least treat him like a human being.....with kindness and gentleness, the same way you would treat a stranger. That at least might make things less rocky between you and him and your family. Do what is best for you and your son and I wish you all the luck and support that I can via the computer.
42533
I would talk to him and see if he is willing to go to counselling and try to work out this issue, try and see if the relationship can be salvaged , don't give too easily( unless he is abusing you, then get out of there, NOW) but if he's just a jerk then let him know how you feel and as i suggested  counselling and if this doesn't work then you really need to make a decision becuase you don't want to be unhappy and you don't want to teach your kids that it's ok be in this type of relationship, at least if you seek help to salvage the relationship and you honestly tried to make it work and it didn't , you can walk away from it and you can say to yourself that you honestly tried to make it work and you won't have any regrets.
1181244
it is too late for your son if you dont shape up.if you are prepared to change,your son will be an angel or else you will end up hating yourself for turning your son into whatever kind of deliqiunt he becomes.\nbe firm ....make sure that a no is a no.\nif you take something away from him ,keep it away till he makes up for it.\nif he swears,punish him(not physically)..taking away privileges,to bed without supper,etc usually work\nif he throws a tantrum,ignore him\nif he says he hates you,dont take it to heart,HE DOESNT\nif you give him a chore,ensure he does it.\n\nbeing firm will not make him hate you.it'll only make him respect you.\n\nyou will surely have to cry a lot the first few days,but soon they will be tears of joy...and no it isnt too late
250691
I would stay clear of him for a looong time.  Clearly, he has some growing up to do.  You are WAY too young to be involved with someone like that.  And if he's not stepping up and being a man by supporting his baby, don't think twice that he wouldn't do the same to YOU.
252367
Everyone grows up sooner or later.  However, that he had nothing to do with your child for seven years raises a big question in my mind.  Will he be there later?  Is he here to stay?  He owes the answers to your child and to you.\n\nObviously you have had a thing for him this whole time, and he for you.  People don't stop speaking to each other because of indifference.  \n\nGive it a chance, but make sure you know the answers to those questions.  You owe it to yourself and your kid.\n\nGood luck!