i want to divorce my wife, but i have 2 kids which i love so much i cant stop seeing them daily, what can i do
337196
ask for joint custody. thats the only thing i can say or else go to counsleing to work on the marriage. do not i repeat do not stay together for the kids. it will only hurt the kids in the long run.
1159976
My ex-wife does the same,but she quit once I moved out of state. But she still uses the kids against me. My parents did the same to each other,that's why I don't do it to my kids. I guess what I am trying to say is you cant control what they do only what you do. Good Luck
692162
I'm sorry that you're hurting for mistakes made in your life.  I do feel it's only fair to you to be honest.  I'm extremely doubtful that you would ever be able to adopt, given the fact your children were taken away.  No adoption agency would ever consider you.  I'm sorry to tell you this.\n\nI'm assuming you're asking this question because you're unable to have more children?\n\nIf you are in a healthy marital relationship, have redefined your life, and are moving into a positive direction my recommendation would be that you attempt to have a relationship, to the extent you can, with the children who were taken away.  If that's not possible, look for the good in the life you now have, forgive yourself for past mistakes, and learn to wake up each day looking for something good that day.  \n\nYou're life isn't over.
263479
File for divorce . . . do not mention it . . . in the documentation for the divorce . . . fight for majority of custody of the children.\n\nGrounds . . . mental abuse . . . of both you and the children.  Because she uses the children as pawn . . . thus mentally abusing you and the children.  You loved her . . . tried to make it work . . . but her hostility is just growing and you worry about the mental health of your children.
1078395
After a church wedding, I guess you got to now apply for a court divorce.\n\nLook man, it all depends on your relationship with your wife. If you just can't live without her, you got to let her decide what she wants to do regarding this wedding and the child. The child will be her decision first and your decision next.
550098
why do you still love her? How long have you been divorced? If you loved her dearly, and your devorce was mutual and you have children together, maybe thats it. I need more info to give you an educated answer...
489450
Your wife caught you and her mother together, and that is why she took her life.  Don't you think you've provide enough uproar in your children's lives?  Do you really need to keep going down this road and make sure that your children are never able to have a happy home life and relationship of their own?  Do you really feel the need to make sure that your children spend the rest of their lives in therapy?  \nYou will never be a family again, their mother took her life as a result of your actions, she was their mother, and can not be replaced by their grandmother.  And subjecting them to the sick twisted relationship that you've gotten yourself involved in is not helping them.\nPersonally I hope someone in the family that you are now banished from, plucks up the idea of taking you to court and prove you an unfit parent and get those children away from you.  Your not mentally sound if you really truly believe that your wife has forgiven you.
874312
You need to stop and look at your priorities. Your children are number one. You need to do all that is possible to give them an intact, caring mother and father house. After divorce and the boy/girlfriends come parading in and out of their lives, things get pretty rough for the kids. Don't do this to them.\n\nYou are the man of the family. Ultimately the responsibility is all on your shoulders. You take the first step. The rewards will be indescribable. \n\nI also stood once on the edge of divorce. I finally realized I was a jerk and made a one-eighty. You must do the same.\n\nIn general, you must make your wife's happiness a priority. Think of what she would like and do it. Don't worry about your own happiness. A loving wife and happy kids will provide all the happiness you need. \n\nHowever don't do what is wrong, ie go into debt to buy stuff for her or do ridiculous things. Treat her well. Tell her you love her and your marriage is very important to you. Do the dishes on occasion, make the bed every day, I do. help around the house. Don't neglect your own chores.\n\nMost important of all. Do the right thing. Spend money wisely. Raise the kids properly (don't be their friend, be their loving authoritative parent). \n\nLet your ego and feelings go when you and your wife argue. Let her speak her peace. Try giving each other a couple minutes to say whatever you want with absolutely no words (or funny looks) from the other.\n\nDon't separate, that almost inevitably leads to divorce.\n\nMy parents got divorced when I was 13. Don't do it to your kids. I got stuck with a horrible step-dad for decades. My dad told me the number one regret in his life is that he didn't work more on his marriage to my mother. Step up to the plate, be a man, and take care of your woman!
365909
Well, all I can do is give you my side of what I seem to be seeing here.\nFirst, why are you falling for her when you should be looking for a HIM?\nSecond, none of the beginning part is really important here.  The real problem is you feel like you are going to end up loosing one or the other as a "friend", right?\nYou are correct to say that they BOTH should have them, it's a 50/50 split, and there isn't anything they say or do that should change that!  The most important thing you can do is remember the children need both a mom and a dad, not just one or the other!\nAfter I got my divorce, I wanted to make sure my kids could spend time with their mother, no matter what!  It was her choice to push them away, not mine!  \nIF you loose one of them as a "friend" then they weren't worth the bother or time anyway!  (They would have run away from you if you ever really needed them, think about it!)\nGood Luck!\nB.I.M.!\nTinkermanLT
421509
I HAVE 3 MY SELF AND LOVE KIDS ....... NO PROBLEM WITH ME
61242
I think that you're the only person that can decide that.  You should sit down and write down what you want, what's wrong, how to solve it, and what is neccessary to solve the problem(s), what is at stake (kids, your happiness).  Clear your thoughts and make a decision when you are ready.\n\nDon't read books on topics such as "Is Divorce for you?"  "When should I get a divorce?"  "Is my marriage down the drain?"  "Stay for the kids?"\nOr anything similar.\nI don't think reading those type of books will help because when reading it you'll think "yeah, yeah, that sounds good" and be influenced by them instead of looking at yourself more clearly.\n\nBest of luck.
496803
Don't let a single day pass without letting him know in word and deed how much you love, honor and cherish him. Make sure that you never stop talking and sharing the things that happen in your lives. Make sure that you create time for just the 2 of you, especially after you have children. A strong and healthy marriage is the foundation of a happy family.
670117
I understand that you say you don't want to get divorced right now but this situation is not only bad for you but also for your kids. You need to get away from that. Yes, you should definitely document what's going on. Go get a lawyer and find a counselor or a shelter. Don't let him control you like this. Do you have familty you could go to or at least talk to? How about someone in your synagogue (sorry if I spelled that wrong)?
281044
First you really should talk to your wife, tell her that you want out of the marriage. You shouldnt be with someone if you are married to another... After you and your wife seperate then you can think about the other woemn,.,
1006768
Absolutely not but it depends on what effects you anticipate the kids having because that's all up to how you handle to breakup and divorce in the first place.  If you and your husband are constantly fighting or your constantly miserable your kids already know that are are already being affected by it.  If you can't work things out and divorce is the only option then try as best you can to let the kids know that it has nothing to do with them but you understand that the consequences of your decision will effect them and your hoping to make that as easy on them as possible.  I was lucky.  My ex and I were able to salvage the respect we'd had for each other in such a way that we do share the kids and the kids don't feel torn.  It took time but now he and I are even able to enjoy each other's company now like we'd lost the ability to before the divorce.  We're no longer lovers, or in love, but we worked hard to retain some of the friendship we shared and our kids know and appreciate that.  NUMBER 1 RULE:  At all cost try not to belittle their father in front of them.  NUMBER 2 RULE:  Don't compare them to their father when they've done something you don't approve of.  Last, if at all possible, get your husband to go with you to discuss the terms of divorce and agreements regarding the kids with a counselor or mediator rather than a lawyer.  Then when it reaches the point of going to court you can both tell your lawyers this is what we want.  Don't let them play one against the other as they are prone to do.
920077
use a common friend to get to your ex-wife. i think it's very noble of you to try to work things out among yourselves. if your ex-wife still refuse to accept the fact that you're actually doing her a favor by resorting to peacefull means, then you have no choice but to do whatever would be necessary for the sake of your child. you need not feel guilty then if the court decides in your favor because you have tried your best to warn her.
51417
I have been in this same situation.  This is not advice, but how it transpired for me.  My ex-wife was not good for myself and my two sons.  I left her.  I had those same exact thoughts and dilemma on what to pray for. Take her back and get the good and the really bad.  Or go solo with two young children and deal with loneliness and single parent struggles.  What I realized was that my ex-wife was not doing what I believe was the will of GOD. And that was to take care of us and do what was pleasing to GOD.  So I opted to take the less traveled road and not go back. 14 years have passed since then.  I still have my sons.  I have my second wife now going on 12 years.  I have an adopted daughter who is almost 4.  My life is tremendously better than it was back then.  Why? I found a person who REALLY loved my sons and myself unconditionally. Also, she was a real living example of a Christian.  By the way, her first husband ditched her after she sent him through numberous colleges.  Funny how GOD works. Sometimes your answers will come in the most unusual ways.  GOD gives insight and wisdom to get you through. Take Care of yourself. You will do what is right.  Just remember, there can be great gain by experiencing loss.  Also, I am not an advocate of divorce. However, it is necessary for the welfare of the children and yourself if your spouse hardens their heart with no recourse after much prayer and pleading.