How can I tell if my mom is telling me the truth about my father?
345473
tell your mom to cut the cr@p. you have the right to know where your father is.\n\noh, and avoid the spanish words and mentioning the color of your skin, in this question you are giong to get a lot of cr@p about it. I hate it, but it will happen.
1139373
I cant help you on where to start but I think its good that you want to find your real dad. Since its on your mind you will be a lot more comfortable once you have achieved this.\n\nAs far as will it upset your real dad, this is only if you know how he feels about it. Have you spoken to him about it in the past? IS he aware of how your feeling right now? Sure it could upset him, afterall he has brought you up and even though he may not be your real dad, for him it will feel like he is and rightly so...\n\nbe cautious with how you do it.... if you dont find your real dad, you dont want permanent scars with your current dad because of your quest.\n\ngood luck with it!
1051188
Mmmm. You'll definitely have to tell your father.\n\nWhy? Because of your sister. If you mother continues with that relationship, she will soon got married with that other guy, or invite him to stay @ home, etc., and that will be a total stranger in your house, which can go over your little sister.\n\nYour mother is not correct in telling you that you have no right to interfere with her life; BUFF!! WRONG!!! Until you get married and have your own place, until your sister got married or have her own place, you MUST interfere in your mother's life, because all her decisions will have consequences on you, your sister, and your father also.\n\nGo and tell your father, for real, get prepared, because cloudy/dark days will come by... Good luck!
226468
do you know her last name and everything because if you do than you can call up this one thing i can't remember what it was but you can tell them what her name is and your her mother. I didn't get to meet my dad until i was 21 years old and i only talked with him 2 times i'll help you out as much as i can but if your just going to talk to her a few time than i'm not going to do it because that hurts. i know because i have been there
119476
Sometimes the apple cart is not worth spilling.  There must be a reason that your parents have kept this quiet and you should not open any wounds or cause any embarassment for them about this.  I am sure that they have discussed this subject and this is how they decided to handle it and for whatever the reason that it has come to your attention it now becomes your duty to keep up the secret from your end.  As silly as it seems some people can have a very hard time dealing with somethings about the past if they want you in on the secret they will let you know eventually.  Then it can be discussed on their terms and not on yours.
33525
Tell them.  Sooner or later they're going to find out.  When that happens they may assume you were up to no good. Why?  Because you didn't tell them.  If you want any chance at seeing and talking to him then tell them first.  Besides, don't you want your parents to trust you? You trust your parents?  It's a two way street!!
198928
If you can try to find out what state and town he was born in, and died in. Thats a good start.. Then search the records at the court house. Call the court house and ask them how to go about finding your father who has past away.. Find someone in your family who is willing to tlak to you without other family members finding out about it.. Try telling your mom that you need to know, that you feel this whole inside, and that you need closer to it... That you want to know where you come from, what history you have. Try telling her its for school or something..
418995
I think if you are good friends with the mom you should ask her or if you and your bf are close and you don't think he would lie to you ask him. Look forward to hearing from you.
977325
Chances are sweetie that your biological father either died or didn't want anything to do with you.  Fortunatelly for you, you had a father in your life that wanted to be your dad.  Let the past go, I know it's hard not having your parents living, but that is no reason to search for someone who was never in your life growing up.  If you think that this will heal some emotional scars you have from losing your mum and pop your wrong.  Chances are if you do find your biological dad you will be very disappointed.  Let it go, remember, being a parent is not DNA, its taking care of you, teaching you, loving you, and being there for you through thick and thin.  Now that your grown that biological father can never do those things for you, so forget him!!
156718
Well Sweety, honesty is in most cases the best policy. Don't you think that she will find out one day? I would sit down with her and tell her that you need to tell her something that she might find shocking or that she might be upset about. Then, tell her, "Mom, I want you to know how much I love you and what a good mother you've always been (if this is true), and I need you to hear me out and try to stand by me, because I really need you now." Something to that effect. You may want to pick up some literature on parental understanding and support for parents of gay children. There's no real easy way to do it but I can tell that it's something you must do for your own peace of mind. I'm a mother and I can tell you that for most mothers, there is nothing that will change their love for their children, even if they are upset. The bond is so very strong between mother and child that I'm willing to bet that she will not stop loving you. She may be upset and unaccepting at first but if you keep the lines of communication open, you will work things out. Good luck, Honey. Here are some websites that might help you:\nwww.gayfamilysupport.com\nwww.outproud.org/brochure_for_parents.html
684514
its safe for me to say I've been in your shoes because i have.my father and mother were going through the same thing and I had to be the one to tell my father what she was up too...its never easy trust me i know.but if you listen to your heart it will lead you to the right answer...and just maybe heal your relationship with your father as well.BEST WISHES HUN AND GOOD LUCK!
170191
u can tell if a person is telling the truth or not.
850023
I know this is going to sound screwy to you but we all fall short. We all disappoint. We all are unworthy of the ones who love us most. I am 27 and married for 10 years. Your dad made a commitment to your mother. Not you. How do you know that she doesn't know? Maybe she does but doesn't want to look at it. Why don't you write her a note? Since you now know about this, it will eat you alive until you get it out in the open. A letter is the best way to deal with it. And at the end of the letter write this. Mom, I wanted you to know these things but i'm leaving it up to you to make it spoken. If you want it will never be brought up again. If you want to talk about it i'm behind you. Love her and support her with what she wants.
78169
This is a family issue. You know you are innocent so, I would allow your mom to know whats going on. Yes even your father. They can be your greatest allies here. Sometimes parrents can be a true blessing and in this case, maybe MOM has a few tips up her sleeve that can really help. After all she was once your age and had her best friend too. I would goto them with everything and let them in on it. That way your relationship to your folks is greatly inhanced and they may even have the solution you need. Its worth a shot.
1184864
I understand where you are coming from. I had a lesbian experience with a woman that I am still friends with today, although I am married to a man. My dad is a Reverend and my mom the Reverends wife (even worse). \n\n There is no easy way to tell your parents you are gay, you simply have to sit them down and be frank with them. You have to tell yourself, they are probably going to be very angry at first, then tell yourself "these are my parents" - they will love you regardless.\n\nI can't tell you that it will come out all honky dorey... it took my parents over a year to accept it, but the finally did. If you love this woman like you say you do, then you will be honest with your parents about your relationship. If the woman loves you the same, she will be supportive and go with you if you need her to. \n\nDon't worry! It's going to be ok, no matter how bad it seems like it is. Remember the 3 C's - Calm Cool and Collective...this should be your demeanor.... parents sense fear.... and if they sense it in you, they will play on it. If there is no fear.... what else can be said or done. Absolutely nothing! \n\nGood Luck!
628445
You may have thought your whole life that you were an only child just because thats how things seem. However this sister of yours has been here even if you knew nothing about it. Your mom may not have felt she was stable financiall or emotionally to care for you  when she gave you up for adoption. this does not mean she loves you any less. she was looking out for your best interest at the time, and in the long run. As for your sister, your mom may have felt horrible about letting you go and not wanting to feel the same hurt again kept your sister. But since you are in a different home you will never know what would have been, and that could be a good thing. I am sure you have had many blessings in your life. you are older now and you have the right to see your mom as well as to become close with your sister. It is great to have someone to share your secrets, loves, tragedies, and thoughts with that may even share the same views and console you. You have the choice to help keep your sister from making some of the same mistakes you might have made, or give her advice on things she doesn't feel comfortable with. You can make this a positive situation. Its not easy, i know, but you can't change the past. but you can make a difference in your future as well as your sisters and moms. \nAS far as your dad hating you. He sounds like he got a wild hair up his butt. pay him no mind. and his accusations are very irrational. he should get a clue. good luck girl
1039806
how do u know it wasnt, were u there, or was it your dad