Good Advice. Long Question?????
341048
Hi,U know I used 2 have the same problem... first of all... DO NOT FEEL LESS than other people,second: if someone comes by N U start blushing or gettin nervious, just imagine that person stading in an empty space with NOTHING but the opposite sex's underwear on,THIRD: let GO,hang loose,B confortabe,if U pretend everything's under control everything WIIL B under control,N lay back  relaxed,keep in mind YOU ARE WAAAAY better than the rest and if U DO say something stupid DON'T GIVE A FUCKIN' SHIT ABOU WUT THEY SAY OR MIGHT THINK ABOUT U,\n\nN fInally,whe U put all these on practice N B-come a more confident guy,find a girl who's a bit shy N THAT will B the perfect girl 2 start a conversation with,N hopefully date.... well this is wut I did N now I have a much better life,I realy hope it works 4 U .\n\nFeel free 2 E-mail me @ : debbie_free2nite@yahoo.com
397465
I tried to help you the best I could. Do not ever give up! This will take you time to think over.  Time will tell. Good luck my friend.
738925
i'm 23 and can tell you honesty is always best. i like flirting but if i know a guy is interested i make it pretty obvious i am too but most women are not like that so you will just have to walk up to her start making small talk and try and read her body language to see if she's interested in you. then just ask her, if she says no she's in a relationship believe her, its nothing against you. if she says yes then you're in!  i really think all the game playing/flirting without making it clear that you're interested in someone is a waste of time and you miss so many great opportunities. as far as your past and the overweight issue, i understand i have a sister who has struggled for yrs. with this and she went through a divorce several yrs ago and that really damaged her ego further. she felt like no one would ever want her but the thing is there are many men who prefer larger women. i tend to be on the thinner side not skinny but more slender and have been out at clubs with my sis and there are just as many men who hit on her as they do me. the difference i think is confidence plain and simple, she went through alot got some counseling and came to grips with who she really is and accepted it in doing that she overcame it and many men find that more attractive that she's confident and sure of herself and really comfortable with herself.  you need to understand that no matter what weight you are you are still attractive and that you're a good person, witty and intelligent and have a lot to offer.  even beautiful ppl get rejected (just look at all the stars lately getting divorced) so its nothing personal and being rejected is not necessarily bad it may well save you from a really bad relationship. bottom line you will never know if this woman is the one unless you talk to her and pursue it, if she isn't interested then you know she's not for you. try not to let the past control your future (the overweight teenager thing) recognize that this is an issue with you that you let it control your actions probably in all aspects of your life but especially dating. once you recognize the problem its easier to deal with, now its time to put it all behind you, what you are in the past is not as important as what you are today and understand that all the bad stuff in your past has made you the person you are today, be thankful for the good and the bad. you sound like a really nice guy and i can tell you although women fall for a bad guy at least one time in their lives they are searching for someone just like you. i really hope you act on this, you just never know who is waiting and wanting to meet you and if you don't do something about it then you are guaranteed to never know if she's the one for you. go for it...because the worst thing that could happen is she's already taken then you will know for sure and can move on. good luck, hang in there and don't live in the past , learn from it otherwise you are doomed to repeat it.
1012601
I would advise you to get to know the new guy first, become friends with him, and get o know what he is about before any rash judgements are mad. You dont want to drop Mr. Six Years for someone wh might not be interested or may have problems of his own. (Sidebar: DAMN, SIX YEARS AND NO RNG.... SEEK OTHER OPTIONS)
442951
I remember my first date with my extremely shy now-husband ten years ago. We had been friends for probably six months, and we both knew *something* was there but were both so hesitant. All of our friends but us were going out of town one weekend, so we agreed to see a movie together and afterward grab a couple of beers. There was a simultaneous *move* in there somewhere. So my advice is to take it really slow and add some mood relaxers to the mix. If you feel confident enough, go for it. Even now with my husband, if I waited on him to do anything, I'd be sitting an eternity. If you're a strong woman, take control!
131294
Ask advice from those who are around your same age, same goals, dreams, etc.  Take awhile and find out if its what "YOU" really want to do, and can you do your best at it and be  successful at it in the future?
15020
Whatever you do don't listen to people who say- have sex with someone else- I had friends that took that advice and it wasn't good. Give it time, the heart does heal over time, and I know it's hard but you learn from the experience and move on to better things.
736688
Try looking in your local book store though you may not be able to afford to buy them you can read through them to find what ou are looking for and not have to worry about others giving you the wrong info and causing more harm than good for you.Not saying anyone would but none of us here know what it is you need to fit your needs and it would be bad judgment for anyone to truely give you any type of advice on what you have said so far with out understanding the full situation your in.Just remember if it harms none then so mote it be but if you plan ill will or such be ready to deal with the return.
135421
it depends like u may get some good advice but if there is people out there like my friend cody all he will do is mess up ur thoughts on it all so look for a good answer not the stupid ones. and oh hey make sure u are asken the right question!!
1116610
Don't force it, bro.  Don't even try to put yourself in a situation.  When the time comes, you'll just know.  \n\nSorry, this must seem like lame advice, but trust me, it's better that way.  I'm speaking from experience...
960428
I would like to try to help you, but I don't know exactly what you need guidance in. I'm a bit younger than you, but I am wise beyond my years. I was born in 81. I am assuming however, that you are not stating your situation, yet your age in hopes of someone with a sixth sense responding..can't help ya there. Only thing I can leave you with is to follow your heart and let God help guide you to the right path!!
347127
I am going to empower you, girl, for this Life is far too short to attempt to spend it...as you appear to be trying to. Lesson One: STOP believing that YOU can read anyone else's mind, let alone a man's! STOP injecting YOUR feelings/voice into the space where someone else's feelings/voice should resound. And for the love of God, please STOP yourself whenever you find yourself even THINKING: "Yeah...I KNOW ______ (fill in space with a name) is behaving in this fashion BUT..." The reason why is this: Unless your last name is "Christ" you are most likely under-qualified to accurately 'read' other people's (true) feelings/emotions/thoughts, etc, etc. You can GUESS, but you will NOT always be correct. OK, if someone's real-world/real-time actions DO support a particular notion of yours, you CAN make an educated guess. But, for the sake of your not spending your life spinning your wheels and waiting for guys to act the way YOU 'know' they REALLY feel...please DO consider discerning/judging people (ESPECIALLY MEN!!!) by what they actually DO and NOT by what they say. Try to respect people enough to believe that they actually KNOW what they are saying/doing, even if it is not what YOU prefer them to say/do. Anything less makes YOU the 'bad guy', as in: controlling, manipulative...Bottom Line? If your man really loves you, he will find his own way back to you. And YOU should require nothin' less, because if HE left, he should EARN   you all over again. He will not respect you, otherwise, and you may have a lifetime filled with him goingcominggoingcoming...! A good woman IS worth her weight in diamonds. Has he presented you with something, somethought, someindication, which demonstrates to you HIS understanding of YOUR (positive) worth, yet? If not, why are you even wasting time TRYING to understand HIM?!? My dear, YOU are worth more than YOU (appear to) know. So...here's MY parting 'gift': If he IS an immature jerk, let 'im go. Alternately, (I promise) the minute you STOP! worrying about him and move on with your own life- and No, this doesn't necessarily mean YOU should go out and make an ass of yourself with other guys/men/boys, either- he WILL take notice (meaning: miss the dedicated attention his fabulosity assured him of receiving from you) and come running with his 'feelings' in full display for you to (mis)interpret...again. Oh! And if you are an attractive/sexy/cute/desirable/viable female...the latter will happen sooner than you can blink. Have faith. In you.
847543
IF YOU HAVE TO ASK FOR OPINIONS YOU MUST HAVE RESERVATIONS.  I WAS IN A 2 MO. RELATIONSHIP AND WE MOVED IN TOGETHER, IT WAS THE BEST DECISION I EVER MADE, BUT WE WERE READY.  WE ARE BOTH DIVORCED WITH NO CHILDREN.  I HAD MOVED FROM NY AND HE LIVED ON MY BLOCK, WE BEFRIENDED EACH OTHER AND CLICKED, FRIENDS FIRST SEEMS TO WORK.  YES, I KNEW IT WAS SO FAST, BUT I CONSIDERED HOW I CARE ABOUT HIM AND FIGURED THAT WHEN AN OPPORTUNITY ARISES GO FOR IT, THAT IS WHAT LIFE IS ALL ABOUT.  IF IT DOES NOT WORK, I KNOW THAT I MADE AN ATTEMPT.  I FIGURED LIFE IS SHORT, IF I DONT DO IT, I WOULD ALWAYS WONDER WHAT IF.  GOOD LUCK!
34418
I am currently going through the same type of situation. Basically you have to ask is the stress worth it. If it is meant to be then it will happen. Don't force it. If not, there are more fish in the sea.
337432
one thing at a time, man...one thing at a time. Take a deep breath and start slow...little problems first, then go from there. It helps me to look at the big picture and ask myself if this problem will REALLY be an issue to me in the grand-scheme of things or will it affect me 10 years from now or something.....look at the big picture.
885349
You're really not that low as you might think! Your problems can be fixed with better mobility. I thought you were going to say something about losing a limb, or becoming paralyzed or something! Getting a divorce and never seeing your kids.  Getting 3rd degree burns all over and recovering.  I think the military is a perfectly acceptable option for getting your life together.  We recently took in a young man who due to a variety of mishaps, had lost his drivers license, and then was kicked out of his mom's place by her new boyfriend.  He was sleeping in the park when my daughter (his h.s. friend) found out. He is in boot camp for the Navy as I write this.  He gets a stipend while he's in there, room and board and food, and he also will receive a $20,000 cash bonus in addition to the $8,000 he will have for school each year.  When he returns next month, my husband and I are going to help him find a small apt, and help him to find a decent running but cheap car.  (He's a Reserve)  So you've really got to choose your options better, or it sounds like you'll be stuck at mom's!
57840
You've given us a false dichotomy.  Neither of these is a good choice.  Practical advice on open-mindedness is that you should be open-minded, but not credulous.  Consider new things, but don't swallow everything some nutball tells you.