another wife question?
348832
Relax, you didn't do anything wrong.  Sometimes life simply gets too busy to remember to share everything that goes on.  As long as she isn't mad then don't worry about it.
948540
Talk this thing out.  Set some ground rules if you want to establish another relationship.  I stongly recommend that you look for a relationship and not just sex, not just friends with benefits either though it may start out that way.  To the extent that she is comfortable with knowing, let her know exactly what your doing, who your seeing and how much you like this person.   A long term committed loving relationship is not out of the question.  Let the other person know that your wife is part of your life and that will never, never change, no matter how involved you become with her.  \n\nIf you exclude your wife from knowing this other woman, knowing what your doing (and I don't mean all the sexual details) and when, giving your wife an opportunity to know her (her choice to act on it) then your marriage will fail and badly.\n\nHonesty, which it seems that you have with your wife, is key.  \n\nWhat you should be looking for is some form of polyamory.\n\nI have much (though not in every way) the same situation here for the past 15 years and my marriage is wonderful.  But it takes work and honesty.\n\nIf you'd like to learn more about this you can find out more information at:\n\nhttp://www.polyamorysociety.org/\n\nor you can email me.  I have an email link in my Answer profile.
1095126
Ask her if she wants to try swinging or polyamory. I don’t know your views on non-monogamy, but if she responds positively to your suggestion, the two of you should seriously look into the possibilities. Obviously her cheating was unfortunate because it involves deception, but you need to distinguish between whatever pain you feel from the deception, and whatever feelings you might have about non-monogamy. You can’t change the past, but you can set sail for a more promising future if you establish a new commitment together. This new commitment is not the traditional “forsaking all others” that you find in conventional marriage ceremonies, but a commitment of partnership through the adventures yet to come. At some point you should probably tell her that you know about her previous cheating, but you should do this at a time when you are feeling like you love her – NOT at a time when you are feeling bitter or resentful.\n\nOn the other hand, if you bring up the possibility of non-monogamy and she says “no way” or gets angry at you for even thinking about it, then you might want to GENTLY tell her that you know about her cheating, and that you forgive her and still love her. Once she sees this reaction, her insecurities about non-monogamy might eventually fade away and then she might be willing to think about it more positively. But don’t expect everything to be resolved all at once. You might have to work on this aspect of your relationship for many months before you both reach a point where you can trust each other enough to let go of the past and start anew.\n\nAnd finally, I should point out that I am simply offering one suggestion that most people might not consider. The actual wisdom of this suggestion depends on a lot of factor that I don’t know because I don’t know either you or you wife. If you want to talk in more detail about your specific situation, feel free to contact me. I might modify my suggestions based on your actual feelings and the actual situation.\n\nBy the way, my wife and I have been non-monogamous for the past several years, and we grow more in love with each other every day. We are living proof that love in marriage can be amplified by love beyond marriage – in contrast to the standard belief that extra-marital love is always destructive. If you are a great enough soul to love your wife despite her past mistakes, then you could discover that your most amazing and deeply-loving years are yet to come.
1109114
no..... but my wife married one
36047
If you love your wife the way you should, you wouldn't want this. Why would you want to make love with another woman or watch you wife make love to another woman. I asked my husband whats your ultimate fantasy, I expected it to be this and when he told me what it was I questioned him on why it wasnt this threesome thing... he said I love you and you are mine I want no one else and I want no one else to have or experience you, why would I want to see anyone else with you in that way loving you the way I do." These were his exact words. He is a great Man and only a man could feel that way. I think you need to grow up there are other ways to put a spark in your marriage than to bring in another woman or man. As for me, I will fulfill the fantasy he asked for and thank my God above that it wasnt one like this.
75002
Think of all the ways you romanced your wife before you was married. Did you buy her flowers? Take her on night strolls? Did you shower with her or run her bath when she comes home from work? At times we tend to forget that the men/women that we marry still need to be romanced and catered to. Its a beautiful thing that happens for two people and they feel appreciated. This is what I think your wife is telling you.
996209
In the hope that may be this way she will get some respect as being unselfish and sacrificing woman. \n\nIn such cases thee is always this implied blackmail that if she does not say yes , husband will go for second marriage any way and leave her.  So better say yes and try to look a bit dignified.\n\nRelatives of husband keep on pushing for it directlly or indirectlly.\n\nHusbands start to make wife feel ignored anyway.  She thinks may be this way , she will get his attention even if for a few days only.\n\nShe is trying to keep the roof over her head.
194345
I don't think there is really any way to tell your wife and keep her, unless she is extremely forgiving and you are willing to change and be faithful.  Even then, not likely to work out.  On the other hand, you need to be honest and get this out, better she hears from you than figures it out on her own.
310270
so ask another question
629259
Is your wife under more stress than normal? As far as not knowing what your wife wants, ask her. I'm sure she'd be happy to let you know.
583272
Will you have a little talk with MY husband for me?\nLOL\n\nSounds like your wife is a very lucky woman, with a wonderful husband!
199593
Sounds like your marriage really needs work.  Not just wishful thinking.  You have to show her you genuinely care enough to rebuild the marriage and she has to decide to stop looking elsewhere for what she's not getting from you.  There's a book called "His Needs/Her Needs" by Harley and it outlines that when specific needs are not being met that one of people may go looking elsewhere.  It doesn't mean they should do it but it can happen.  There is always hope if both people want to work through it.
105995
from a mans stand point! you know your wife more than anybody! sit back and think of some of the thing she has talked about. love is something money cannot buy. give of youself, do something for her. make her feel like she is the only woman there is.
797028
LOL, after reading your previous questions on here I just have to laugh.  In one question your'e talking about your wife, the next you husband, your toddler, now your 21 year old.........  \n\nVery entertaining questions (at least some of them) , bet your'e laughing your ar** off reading the replies.
161999
This is something you should speak to your husband about. My wife had a similar problem. She married me at 18 and I was her first. She expressed her desire to be with another man for the experience, and assured me that in no way was she interested in leaving me for another. Since I love her with all my heart, I wanted to do anything possible for her. Through our discussions we have decided that we will pursue that in the future if the situation arises. I am working through some issues over it, but as I said, I love her and will do anything for her. If she needs to fulfill this, then I will allow it to happen. We may bring another guy into the mix with us or it might happen with her and him alone, we haven't decided that yet, but we will discuss everything and both of us must be comfortable with the situation in order to proceed. Communication is the key. I'm quite sure that your husband has some fantasies of his own that he hasn't shared with you yet. This could possibly be an opportunity for you both to discover new things in your relationship. Have a conversation with your husband. If your husband loves you as much as I love my wife then he will at least ponder the thought. Good luck.
242239
Think to yourself...Is casual sex with my wife's best friend going to hurt or enhance my marriage? You must hate your wife to even consider doing something that would cause her nothing but heart-ache and embarrassment
981634
So, you got caught writing sexy letter to other women, and claiming in the letters to be single.  Now, you are hoping one of us can come up with some magic solution, one that convinces your wife that it great for her husband to be chasing after other women.  I have no magic solution, and doubt one exists.  Beg forgiveness.