Can a man love his work more then his family?
344173
There is a class of individuals called over achievers. Your husband sounds like he fits the bill nicely. It is not that he does not love you. I expect that he does. It is just that he has a fear of failure and so works is rear off to prevent that. Anyway, that is my take. Men also are not good communicators, at least that is what my wife tells me. So it is up to you to communicate with him. Tell him in a caring way that your home life is suffering and that you are worried that he is not enjoying the other things in life. That you would really appreciate it if he could devote one day a week to his family. See what he says to that.  Since he is an over achiever, that to get the message across that he is under achieving in his family life and needs to improve his performance in that respect. \n\nOver achievers are results oriented also. Put a chart on the wall showing his performance in his family life so he can see how well he is doing.
385502
yes it's possible but not right. the Bible says to love God more than anything else. that includes your spouse, your kids, family, friends, money, etc.
92701
erm. firstly.. did he care for his family and yours? if he did i believe that in the future he will do the same for you and your family. Is he loyal? and he rather spend time with you then his friends. Cares for your feeling.. willing listen to your point. not argue with you but listen to you. And the most important is your heart is only for him and he too. hope u can find your answer soon.
719512
It depends,I dont really care if they do or not, because as long as he makes you happy and your family does'nt like him then it should be up to you,its what you want,you want to be happy with him and your family should'nt get in the way of that happiness.
693576
There are many specifics which are needed to answer his question.\nGenerally speaking, it is fine to love everyone, but is extremely wrong to hurt people you love, like your brother, his wife, yourself, by taking ephemeral activities. \nI suppose you started this "game" to assist your brother to have a better family! Bravo! Now, you have to proceed in something more dynamic: find a girl to love and be loved and all will be happier!
1138575
yes...it's been heard that a man should always put his family first above all else. except God obviously. being "married to your job" can hinder any relationships you might have. also depending on what you do and whom you work around can hinder it as well. it just depends on if the girl is the one you want to be with...how you react is what she'll see.
652264
Wow, a good philisophical question. I believe it can be achieved, for there are at least two different kinds of pride. Are you proud of your family? Of course you are. But you may not flaunt them in everyone's face. You may not think they're better than everyone else. (Well, you may, but let's just say you don't for a moment.)\nYou can feel 'pride' in who you are, without feeling better than anyone else. \nI agree that it sure seems to conflict with each other, but you could try it sometime. Just hold your head high, but do nice things, like open the door for someone, be nice, etc... It can be done, I'm sure of it.
318691
mmmmmmm A man who will not get a job and work to support his family or himself is saying alot about himself and his character!  And on top of it he feels he is too damn good to help around the house which is an even bigger crock of crap!  My hubby and I have been together 22 years and has worked 12 hours a day 6 days a week for the last 10 years in a row!  On weekends he helps with laundry- does dishes every Sunday just so I can have a day off.  If I ask for his help- he jumps right in with no hesitation!  This so called man of yours- well not a man!  Your feelings are correct!  Give him the boot big time!  You deserve sooo much better than that!  You deserve a man who is going to love you and respect your feelings and needs as a woman!  Life is too short to waste on this loser!  There r alot of men out there looking for great women!  and u deserve to have one of them!  Good luck to you!
523904
Wow, you're doing a wonderful job just by hanging in there. Your family is lucky to have you. \n\nBut yes, you will exhaust yourself trying to keep the family afloat alone (basically), and without anyone meeting your emotional needs.\n\nWhat your husband doing is very common for men. I know I can drift that way as well. It's hard to deal with the pressures of work, then come home and "depressurize" to meeting people's emotional needs. Chances are he is not skilled with relationships anyway, so it drains him to try.\n\nThis is not an excuse for his behavior. I'm simply saying it's understandable and common. Ultimately, he needs to change his priorities and realize that you are giving far beyond what is fair and that you can't do it forever -- you have needs as well. \n\nI think he thinks he does love you, but he's not "getting" that his actions aren't showing you any love at all.\n\nIs there any clear end in sight to his study/work schedule? Sometimes you can just let thing go, if he has one or two semesters left. If the end is far away or you can't see an end, then you need to fix things now.\n\nYou can't force him to talk, you can just give him opportunity. Ask him general questions about how his day went; don't push if he doesn't want to talk much; he'll see it as "nagging" (he'd be wrong, but that's how he'll probably perceive it). \n\nTell him the BASICS of your day, rather than tons of nitty-gritty details (those things will overwhelm him). If you can make conversation seem less overwhelming or intense for him, then maybe he will eventually open up.\n\nIs there anyone he is close to, whom you can confide in and who can talk to him? You don't want to manipulate, but he does need to hear that, although he is definitely doing good by working hard and studying hard, you and your son are dying inside and need his presence more than his work ethic. He needs to reprioritize things.\n\nYou also need to ask for 15 minutes of his time. Tell him, without pleading or begging or sounding angry, that you are proud of what he has done and how hard he works; and that you want to be as supportive as you can; but that even if he doesn't understand why, you feel completely alone and that your son misses him too. You can't live in such an emotionless vacuum. Something has to change. Your marriage is suffering.\n\nSet some practical time boundaries -- small at first if necessary, of what you need. Decide with him what things you need help with and how he can help.\n\nHe's going to have trouble shifting gears. I hope that he listens to you and senses your support for him, as well as how much you're hurting; and this will motivate him to change. He will not give you everything you need and deserve at first, but that's where he's at right now and needs time to change. \n\nHe might need advice from others who have been in his situation before. Some things will not be obvious to him.\n\nBless you for hanging in there and trying so hard to keep your family going.
1168817
I base a mans "worth" as you call it on his persoanlity, not just emotionally and spiritually. I base it on how he is with other people, especially his family, and how caring and loving he is. He could have all the money in the world, but what does it matter if he doesn't know how to love?
295127
No.  Your family will always be your family.  They will always be there for you and only want the best for you.
805471
Yes.  My husband and I both are in that situation.  We are both the only ones with successful careers.\n\nwe are stuck in a damned if you do and damned if you don't situation.  when it comes to gift-giving, if we give large presents, we are showing off and if we give the type of presents that everyones else can afford, then we are being stingy.  All our siblings resent our wealth until it comes time that they need something.\n\nall that crap aside, do your own thing!!!  Good luck!!
802630
Happiness in the life of my family.
579879
If he is close to his family then look at it this way he will make on heck of a family man. I would feel honored if I was you. Try offering to go to family get togethers with him and get involved with his family. They could become your family one day.
198185
Absolutely.  My family is the best ever.
340272
Sounds like there is more to the story than you not liking or getting along with his family.  You expect more for him and he hasn't delivered.  People don't change.
1137056
if your an adult then you can see who you want too. it would be nice to get your families approval but you dont need it. go with your heart and hope that your family comes to like him as much as you do.