I think my husband of 23 yrs. has fallen in love with someone else. What should I do?
353777
give him new ways of making love
361475
If you 've truely been unhappy for 15 years, I'd say you've been married for 14 years too long.  However, my initial response was that a marriage is very much like a business partnership, but you are right that it also needs love and romance to flurish.  \n\nWhat concerns me is the apparent infatuation with this other guy.  You must have found something appealing about your current husband that you wanted to marry him.  And something worthwhile to stick it out for 15 years, my gosh.  I am concerned that once you leave your husband, which I think you should, the novelty and infatuation with the new guy will wear off.  Living with someone is always much different than "dating" them.  \n\nI think you should leave your current husband only for issues you have with him, not because you think you may have found a better replacement.  It would be really sad to leave a good provider to find out the new guy is not up to par in some bad ways.  Get out of the marriage first, then take the new relationship as it comes.
1172600
LISTEN VERY CAREFULLY!  It looks like he made his choice already.  A man will never leave his wife to be with the other woman.  If you guys were talking before he got married and he still married the other woman...I'm sorry to say, but he is not thinking about leaving his wife for you.  He has his cake and eating it too..so to say.  You are only hurting yourself if you continue to pursue this relationship.  Save yourself from anymore heartache and just end it.
556491
to start with, i know you have a stronger feeling for one of those two people, it just so happen that maybe, just maybe, you found something that you needed in one guy but you really love the other and now you confused yourself that the love the other where in fact, you only see something about him that you like but you not specifically love him. assess your feelings and start to weigh things out. \n\nand if it happens that they both weigh equally in your heart just like the other, then its tme to take chances on one which you think loves you more, then drop the other. in loving someone, its not necessary that you are sure, what matters is that you loved all the love you can give, and then who gives a damn if it doesnt work. what matters is that once in your life, you do a crazy thing and feel loved like no one had ever felt before and that feeling will be enough to sustain you for a long time.\n\nand see after sometimes, you would just reminisce the old feeling and just laugh about how carzy inlove you have been for the two guys..
654593
I would still care too but you do just have to move on he is just playin u while he is in another womans bed and that aint right you just got to give him that divorce and move on he is the one commiting adultry not u sweetie.. i knwo it will be hard but u have to do whats best for u all he is doing is hurting u but not letting u go.. its hurting ur soul and heart. I know how a hard it will be for u but it will be for the best
813821
I really feel for you, thats a tough situation.\nAre you sure that you are really in love with him, as you only said that you believe you are in love with him. Be careful not to confuse other feelings for love.\nDid you know he was your uncle before you got involved?\nI know you fall in love with who you fall in love with but there is a brief window in which you can apply the breaks.\nWhat about the other woman he is with? Has he spoken to her yet?\nIf I were you, I would try to steer clear and if he manages to end the relationship with the other lady and keep his relationship with the kids maybe you could think about him again.\n\nI don't know about the law and deformities. I would say no to both questions, but just think of the people involved in this tangled web and how your decisions will effect them\n\nIts tough I know.\n\nGood luck.
1093725
You need to realize that your not really falling in love with him but that you still have a crush on him and that your feelings are based upon the past and not on your current life.  He may be a wonderful guy but the reality of it is you really have no idea if you two could ever really be together and be happy together like you and your husband are.  The best way to deal with this is just to keep reminding yourself how lucky you are to have the life you do and stop focusing on what you can't/ don't have.
394219
If he does not have feelings for you then leave it alone. You can't make someone like you or for that matter love you. Now it you have a bad marriage and if the problems can be solved than try and work them out. And u are not saying its a bad marriage just because you like this other guy are you? Move on and God Bless.
533077
This is a situation that takes lots of time and consideration. I know what you mean I'm in the same boat. I'm 23 with 2 kids and I love my husband dearly, but there is one old boyfriend who makes my heart skip a beat but I know that we weren't meant for each other or things would have happened differently. You love your husband, if you didn't you would've left him by now. The only thing that's different now is the new guy. My advice to you is not to tear up a family of 3 years just because the grass looks greener on the other side, because it never is! Women are hopeless romantics and we would do almost anything to be swept off our feet and ride off into the sunset with prince charming on his white horse. But if you were to leave this man of 3 years what would be different with the new one? Three years from now will be the same story. You have to learn how to make things in your current relationship stay fresh and vibrant. You have to keep the flame burning. When a fire starts to die you just add more wood. Not wait till it burns out and then start a new one. Trust me, if both of you work at it and you keep open and honest communication between you and your spouse you will have a relationship that is almost unheard of now a days!
295813
You really need to give him the benefit of the doubt on this until something comes up that gives you a solid reason for questioning his love.\n\nIt sounds like you guys need a session or two with a good couples' counselor...it sometimes doesn't take long to figure out why the trust issue has become a major thing for someone. I highly encourage that, for your own peace of mind...and for the longevity and health of your marriage. Best of luck.
1109525
First of all unless anyone has walked in your shoes they should not be judging you.  I am going through the same thing right now.  It has not been easy for me.  This person is a friend of mine and my husbands, he is also married.  We were chatting then one thing lead to another, the chat turned sexual and from there I formed an emotional bond with this man. Nothing has happend physically but  it has totally messed up my emotions, I feel like I am a mess since this has happend.  I have a great husband, and I am no longer communicating with our friend, but honestly I always think about him and miss him, why I don't know but it has been real hard.  This is one door I wish I never would have opened.  I don't know your details but the one thing I can tell you is to ask yourself what led you to do this, I had to do the same and I am in counseling right now.  Believe me I did not expect this hardship when I first started dabbling in this, it seemed harmless and kind of fun, but like they say when you play with fire, you will get burned and that I did.
389987
Be very careful my friend, you could be setting yourself up to be hurt. You may have feelings for this other person, but you need to remember that you "do" have two children to think about. It is belief of many that the truth will set you free, but in this case, it may end in the suffering of the most innocent of all, the kids. Please, consider holding off with this second relationship long enough to realize what you want. I know you want your children in your life, dont jeopardize that for anything. Have a nice day!
76891
This is a hard one. If you love both the same, you cant really tell who is your true love. So what I would do in this situation is stay with the one you are with now. If the first one left you before.. he can definatly leave you again.. making the pain that much worse. Besides you are already with one you love. You wont be leaving anyone but continueing with what fate has brought you.
808324
Wow, I would be jealous also, but at the same time you knew he was already married.  Just pray on it.  You will figure out a way to keep yourself from hurting.  Ooh, I would not like it at all.  Five years is alot of time to catch up on.  All I know, if it were my husband, he would be sleeping with me the whole time....lol...lol.  And because I feel the way that I do (jealous) I would be around them at all times....Wow, girl, I feel for you.  Maybe she just wants to meet the young lady who has stolen her heart away.  His heart is with you just remember that.  He has been yours for two years.
754585
Your husband is right there and he's real.  You can see all of his flaws.  The other guy is somewhere else.  You can build him up in your mind to be much better than he really is.  He's a man with flaws too.  We always want what we can't have.  If you had him, you probably wouldn't want him.  Try to see the negative side of this guy.
228239
No.  Think about this...\n\nShe was once in love with her husband, right?  But she's willing to cheat on her husband to be with you.  How long will it be before she is no longer in love with you and decides to find someone else?\n\nLeave her alone.  Find someone else who is 100% committed to you instead of someone in a committed relationship with someone else.
497532
Love is a tough thing.  Be sure you are truly out of love before finalizing it with your husband.  And if you want to continue the relationship with the other man, please make sure to be divorced with the husband.  Since the relationship is long distance, you may need to spend more time together before deciding marriage with the new one.