How do I get my husband to work?
353744
I'm of the opinion that you can't "get" anyone to do anything.  They have to decide they *want* to do it.  You need to have a serious talk with him if his lack of employment is starting to jeopardize your financial future and try to come up with a solution together (as a team). Starting off conversations that are as sensitive as money are hard and need to be done when both people are calm and make sure no guilt or blame or agression is used.  This is a situation that you are both in so it's something you can work on together.  If he's not willing to communicate with you, then I would suggest professional counceling.  These are the types of situations that can tear a marriage apart.  Good luck.
243996
Take him on a trip to a bunch of bad job, fast food for instance and point out older people that work there, and say "How would you like to work here the rest of your life?"\n\nIf that does not get his attention, take him down to a freeway onramp and point out people holding signs.\n\nJust give him a reality check, maybe he is just not being challenged enough.
723357
Lucky! You better do something nice for that man, let him know you appreciate him. You have a rare breed indeed. But it never hurts to try to get him to relax and enjoy a bit too. \nMy dad was like your husband. Always busy, never sitting still, worked all day, came home and worked around the house, helped out with dinner and chores, worked in his home office. Last year he got cancer and almost died, he now has figured out their is more to life than work, he goes in to the office late, has hired me to clean for him, takes vacations, goes out with friends, and he seems so much happier! \nYou should remind your husband he needs to enjoy life while he has it, you never know what might happen.
580227
why should You have to try to get him a steady job, He IS an adult right! Give him a month to get his affairs in order, KICK HIM TO THE CURB!
447475
just make him do more chores
390419
im sure he appreciates you, he just doesn't know how  to show it.  I know how you feel, so here's some tips that might help:\n\n-tell him you feel over worked and you know his job is demanding but maybe he can find or make time to help out and spend time with you and his kid.\n\n-tell him he can help out by picking up after himself, and doing laundry or dishes or cook once in awhile.\n\n-show him you do do things and that you take care of your kid.\n\n-tell him you feel unappreciated,ask him to say thanks once in a while or that flowers would be nice.\n\n-if worse comes to worse ask him to chang eor start looking for a new job with more flexible hours.\n\ntry to remember he loves you and that you do alot, try to get him to share in the work.  if he doesn't change you could hire a house cleaner to help you out, i dont know what else you can do, good luck!  i hope it works out!\n-get him to try to change his hours at work or take days off or even go in late or go home early once in awhile.\n\n-let him know how you feel and remind himbeing a father an husband comes first before his job, help him relize what hes missing out on.\n\n-
1115917
With God all things are possible. Please don't forget that.\n\nIf your husband  doesn't believe you cant handle responsibilities believe me he wouldn't travel a lot.\nHandling responsibilities is a character of a virtuous women(Prob 31:10) there is time for everything: time to work,play, eat, cry, rejoices and fight.(Eccl 3)\nAnd I strongly believe your marriage (not relationship) will last and stand the test of time. When couple fight it may be for a lot of reasons: maybe you spend more time at work or he is not doing things you know him for. when you leave work leave everything that pertains to your work at the office and face your family and home squarely.create time to take your husband out on a date and rediscover yourselves, don't let your drive for success get between your family. \n\nWishing you the best.
120347
I agree with one of the other answers.  Since he doesn't like you asking your male friend for help, then call your husband.  When the bike seat comes off, call him at work.  When the sink clogs, wake him up.  When the lightbulb blows, make him come home.  I'm not saying it to be mean, but it seems that he wants to do everything.  Let him.  As for the workmen wanting you to be home when they come by, that's normal and your husband knows it.  But when they call, call your husband and tell him you need him to come home to sit with you while they work.  Either he'll love it, or hate it.  But in the end, it's what he's asking for.  P.S. Be careful.  I don't know your situation, but I've known similar situations between husbands and wives that have gotten dangerous.  At the first sign of an out of control temper, STOP!!!!  And Reevaluate the relationship.
697041
Show him how you've done it and the rewards it has brought you.\n\nIf he's the type who hates work, play up the early retirement angle.
392352
uh, just out on a limb here... (ha ha, check that pun out!) but YOU want your husband to do forestry, and YOU are doing research... shouldn't HE be the one checking things out? YOU need to get him a good job? it sounds to me like you are trying to change your lazy man. if you keep doing things for him, he never will do them himself. just an assumption. sorry if i'm wrong, but it is something to think about.
403151
I have two suggestions.\nThe first is a simple technique, perhaps difficult to organise but worth the effort.\nYou arrange for the man to have at least ten minutes ALONE when he first gets home after work. Some suggest 20 minutes.\nHe needs some time to wind down...to take his shoes off...to\nstretch, have a shower, a beer. No rowdy children!\nYou can join him near the end of it. Be nice. A few minutes just for him.\nThat often works wonders.\nIf it doesn't, or if he is unemployed, you have no alternative but to keep hammering into his thick skull that you are a package deal.\nNow, I want to add that it may help him to have one day a week without your children in the house. Can they visit relatives (yours or his), for a day and a night?\nYou really are a package deal, it's true, but in his own blockheaded way your man has his own expectation of happiness and his own perception that he is being denied it.\nAt some point, you should also try to get it through his head that you want to be responsible for disciplining and guiding your children. Ideally, he should discuss with you in private anything concerning your kids.\nHe shouldn't have to feel directly responsible for your kids, only calm and friendly and supportive. \nRemember that for him, sex and affection for you is how he sees the relationship. \nIf you can get him to stop looking at your children as his own burden and get some time alone with him, you may both end up feeling better about your relationship.\nAs well, he should have some friends and interests outside the house so that you get some time to be with your children.
758376
I am married to a man like this.  They live in a dream world.  Because they don't take responsibility for themselves they remain happy-go-lucky kids, which unfortunately gives them a certain charm.\n\nSit down with him.  Show him the bills.  Show him your paycheck.  Tell him you are struggling- which as a single mother I am sure you are.  Ask him for his help.  Then see if he steps up to the plate.\n\nYou don't need to give him any ultimatums.  But in your own mind you might say something like- if he doesn't have a job by the new year- he's out.  Then follow through.  When that time comes remind him of the conversation you had about the bills, of his promises if he made any- and he probably will, and tell him you love him but that you cannot afford another child right now.  You might tell him that if he gets and holds a job for at least 6 months you'll talk to him again.\n\nYou need to think about the example you are setting your children.  If they are girls you don't want them to wind up supporting some guy.  If they are boys you don't want them to think they can find a woman with a big heart and a full wallet.\n\nBe strong.  Be firm.  And tell me how to take my own advice.
292778
I have had the same problem with my husband.  Here's how I've handled it...\n\n1)  Don't nag.  He'll just resent you for it.\n2)  Suggest that the two of you go out and buy the tools and other items you need to start a project.  Nothing makes a man happier than buying new tools!\n3)  If he doesn't start the project after he's bought the necessary equipment, then YOU start it (even if you have no clue what you are doing).  Once he sees you about to "mess" something up, he'll HAVE TO HELP!\n\nGood luck!
410736
if you want your marriage to work you are going tohave to draw a line under it. i know its easier said than done. try and think of the good things in the relationship whenever you feel yourself distrusting him, thats what i did.
1064464
Arrange a group get together at a local bar or restaurant. That way you will get to know him away from work and is he says he has to leave early to get home to the wife and kids or something you will know. If he stays out you will get the chance to chat to him and get to know him more. Hope this helps. Good luck x
877393
well...depends on the kind of job the husband has...if he is sitting at a computer all day and comes home to his wife who has been taking care of a 19 month old and is 9 months pregnant with the second child, i think the husband should help out.  being a stay at home mom is a job too, and it is a 24 hour a day job.  i think the realtionship is a whole lot better if the husband helps out the wife, they can spend more time together if the chores get done faster anyway!!  well good luck!!
753917
I don't know that this is necessarily a control issue.  My soulmate and I both work, but at one point a job change caused a situation where we simply were not able to be together as much.  It was frustrating to want to get home from work and spend time together, but instead end up passing each other at the front door.\n\nSo, you either have to try to create some extra time for each other somehow, hope that your schedule eventually changes, or look for another job with a more reasonable schedule.  Regardless, you definitely need to talk about it with your husband and get down to what the real problem is.